Chinese official’s sex tape ruins local man’s whole day

CHONGQING (China Daily Show) – A netizen has spoken out, after a grainy video depicting a middle-aged Chinese official having sex with a nubile 18-year-old completely wrecked his morning’s masturbation plans.

Twenty-six-year-old security technician Ai Bing had worked out a whole, casual, pre-lunch auto-erotic schedule carefully in advance, and was mid-way through the first hour, when a friend set him a link to a video featuring Lei Zhengfu – a balding district county boss in Beibei, Chongqing province (pictured, right) – sweating mercilessly between the thighs of a young female.

“I promptly lost my mojo and have been unable to get it back since,” Ai complained. “It wasn’t just the moment that was ruined – it was the whole morning.”

The offending image of Lei – described as a “bug-eyed human variant of Jabba the Hutt” – partnered with a younger, far more attractive female, has been billed as the ultimate ‘naked official,’ epitomizing all that is wrong with China.

A ‘human flesh search’ conducted by web users quickly uncovered a network of nepotism and corruption involving Lei’s sleazy business dealings – but most agree it was definitely the sight of Lei’s corpulent, greedy frame looming over the petite frame of his anonymous mistress, that bothered them the most.