the most badass person ever..he will fist pump your asshole to a bloody pulp. he lives in NJ, and works at the meat room in foodtown. yes boys and girls, he plays with meat for a living..

but! he lives in a cave, of darkness and despair. he looks like a sweet kid on the outside but is a monster waiting to rip your soul out; girls watch out..when you anger him, he will rip your ovaries out and make you wear it as a necklace.

secret super power... GO SPIDEY GO!

whats the difference between christopher david vargas and chuck norris? nothing.