I think this falls under more of a "Post Your" thread but it fits more here. Ever make any witty programming jokes in real life that no one got? I have. I'm curious to hear others'.

Once my friend was working on something and he said "I can't operate under these conditions." So I said, "You must not be a... CONDITIONAL OPERATOR." I laughed slightly and then went home and cried myself to sleep.

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0. It's a hardware issue

Edited:

I have another one. Someone was asking why the friendly AI in Halo is just terrible. My response: "Because Bungie let their inbred cousins write the code for the AI... In VB." No one got it and I was :saddowns:

I have another one. Someone was asking why the friendly AI in Halo is just terrible. My response: "Because Bungie let their inbred cousins write the code for the AI... In VB." No one got it and I was :saddowns:

Not much of a joke, more a humorous anecdote.
I once asked a project team member how his section was doing.
He said:
"It's nearly done! All I have to do is test it."
"Oh...how's testing going?"
"I'm about to start"
"You call that nearly done? What about when you find a load of bugs and need to take a few days to find them and fix them?"
"Nah, I'm pretty sure it'll work. It compiles ok"

That last line was my signature on a number of forums for months afterwards.