This is a question that only an expectant parent can answer for himself or herself. It is a highly personal decision. It is one that is not taken lightly. It is also important to remember that considering adoption does not mean you are a bad person or that you are committed to following though with an adoption plan. Expectant parents should feel free to talk with professionals, gather information and take their time in making a decision. Talking to an adoption professional does not mean that you are going to pursue an adoption plan. If, in talking to an adoption professional, you feel that you are being pressured or given a guilt trip about adoption, please consider talking to another professional. Adoption is a highly personal decision that will affect you, your child and possibly your extended family, so it is important that it is a well-thought-out process.

Individuals or couples considering adoption should ask themselves a series of questions. Hopefully, these will help clarify your plan.

What are my financial resources? What is my level of income?

What are my emotional resources? Who will support me during this pregnancy?

Who will emotionally support me if I parent my child?

Where would I live if I choose to parent my child? Do I have room in my home if I choose to parent my child?

What income level will I need to pay for rent, formula, diapers, day care, and baby supplies? (It’s smart for the individual to actually do an estimated budget. It’s also helpful to talk to a friend or family member who is parenting a child to get an estimate on the average monthly cost of formula, diapers, clothing and health care.)

Who can help me financially? Parents, spouse, partner, government assistance?

What are my long term goals for my self?

How does this pregnancy affect those goals?

How does parenting a child affect those goals?

What are my goals for this child?

What is my concept of being a good parent to child?

What options have I considered?

What are the immediate consequences of those options?

What are the long term consequences of those options?

What are the potential gains for myself if I choose adoption?

What are the potential losses for myself if I choose adoption?

What are the potential gains for others if I choose adoption?

How will I approve of myself if I make an adoption plan?

How will I disapprove of myself if I make an adoption plan?

How will others approve or disapprove of me if I make an adoption plan?

How much will I consider the opinion of others in making this decision?

Will I have to pay for services?

This may seem like a lot of questions. At the same time, it is simplistic to think that you will be able to make a decision based on answering these questions. Remember that you have time to make a decision.

Copyright 2007 IATI . All rights reserved
The resources provided on BirthParent.us are for educational purposes only. The content does not necessarily reflect the views of IATI, Harmony Adoptions or its partner agencies. Visitors should seek out professionals to discuss their options before making any decision.