I'm in a beautifully honest and open relationship with someone who makes me happy and we have an exquisitely chaotic, blended family together. I'm also searching for a friend who can get to know me and possibly grow into a relationship.

If this gives you a little pause and is making you frantically search for the back button on your browser, I won't be offended. How many of us have really examined our relationships or been truthful enough to explore them with a partner secure and supportive enough to let us?

I'm not going to spend a great deal of time explaining what polyamory means to me or what open relationships are. I'd rather find someone who is already familiar and comfortable with those concepts and is looking for a relationship with me accepting that I have a primary partner, that she knows and is fully aware of who I spend my time with, and that I encourage her to do the same out of a true desire for our mutual happiness. If that's not you, I wish you the very best of success and love and always looking for platonic friends to join us for game nights at our home.

I would much rather find out more about you - what inspires you, what motivates you, what you geek out about when no one is looking and what turns you on. I'm sensitive, respectful, intelligent and unlikely to have a monosyllabic exchange with you that tells you nothing about me. I'm also not likely to send you multiple photographs of my appendage from many different angles. I have one, I'm proud of it, and it suits me just fine. Sex is fantastic and is a beautiful expression of humanity that I have explored openly in alternative lifestyles, but it's not the only thing I'm looking for. Connection matters to me far more than friction. Once we have that, everything else is negotiable. I'm passionate with the people who are important to me and I hope you're the same.

For the cynics out there I suppose I have to say this: Yes, she knows. We keep no secrets from each other and I encourage her to seek out relationships of her own. She'll most likely invite you over for dinner with the family if things develop that way between us (she's an excellent cook). While I'm looking for someone to date me, we're not expecting you to jump into bed with us.

If you're a fearless explorer and understand that relationships are more than the tiny boxes in which we contain them, I'd love to talk to you.

What I’m doing with my life

Chasing after my eight year-old daughter and my extended family, reinventing myself a piece at a time. I'm working toward rebuilding my life emotionally, financially, and spiritually and want to make the most of the time that I have with the people I love. I don't need anyone's help to achieve this, although I don't mind a few interesting distractions along the way.

I work at a local radio station as their resident geek, so I probably know far more than I should.

I’m really good at

Some mysteries are best discovered rather than revealed. You expect me to give away all my secrets? I tend to think and speak in complete sentences and enjoy expressing myself sensually, using my words to stimulate the mind and body.

I have other talents as well . . .

The first things people usually notice about me

My eyes, my shoulders, my intelligence and my sweetness. I've been told I radiate a quiet authority, a hidden dominance beneath the surface. Indeed, I'll tell you what I want with or without words.

I'm honest, respectful, compassionate, understanding of boundaries and limits and want to spend my time with like minds. Good sex is important to me, and I'm explorative, but it's not what drives me.

I'm also a skeptic who prefers to look at the world as it is rather than the way I want it to be. That doesn't mean I have all the answers or dismiss the value of the human heart - I keep an open mind but I'm not likely to accept metaphysical explanations for things that are already explainable. I also respect the role that various religious traditions have on history and its ability to uplift the spirit, but you won't likely find me inside a church or thumbing through the Bible (unless I have a serious intellectual curiosity to fulfill).

I'm comfortable just listening and don't strive for attention, although I don't shy away from a good conversation and often quite charming when you least expect it. I'm intellectual, always questioning and evaluating people's motivations and philosophy, but I'm far from a snob. I lean a bit more to the political left and very outspoken about subjects I'm passionate about, but make an effort not to judge. My partner is actually a great deal more populist and right leaning, which makes for some unique conversations, especially when alcohol is involved.

The significance of the match percentages on this site. They're amusing but hardly a reliable indicator of compatibility.

I've often found compatibility in people I least expected and conflict in those who were the most like me. Sometimes it's important to take a chance on someone with different backgrounds, different temperaments, and even somewhat different values.

On a typical Friday night I am

Rolling on the floor tickling my daughter.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I am very creative with the people I feel passionately about, very open and adventurous. I believe love is not a precious commodity and is meant to be shared. While it's not our primary focus, we're both very open to alternative lifestyles and sexual exploration. If it's safe and pleasurable, we've either tried it or want to. Ultimately, I want someone who feels the same need to explore.

Make me blush!

I'm not opposed to outside relationships and dating - you don't need to date both of us - but a triad or quad with loving, affectionate people is certainly not out of the question. There are no secrets, only fun and love!

You should message me if

... you are beautiful, intelligent, and open-minded. I love a woman who challenges me intellectually but I have no room for pretentious intellectualism or exhausting cynicism. I reserve the right to be stupid on occasion and enjoy spending time with someone who doesn't take herself too seriously. If you are irreverent, non-judgemental, open-minded and adventurous sensually, emotionally, and spiritually, I want to meet you.

I'm content to wait for my goddess (or goddesses), so I'm not going to add to the growing list of inarticulate or hormonal e-mail currently flooding your inbox. [Seriously, you get enough unsolicited e-mail. Write me because you find ME interesting!]