It’s true that you probably know more about yourself than anyone else does, but I am willing to bet that there are things that you unconsciously do, which make drastic impacts on your daily life … and have no idea why you do them.

Some of these things we come into adulthood pre-programmed with, and they can be very beneficial. One example would be the instinct to remove a hand from a hot plate before it gets burned. Another is the way that our brain automatically filters out most of the noises that come through our ear canals every moment, only focusing on what is considered to be the most relevant for that particular moment.

However, there are others, some of which can be very destructive to us.

While some of the things that we do are instinctive and, therefore, can do little about, others are there because of the process of choices we have made throughout our lives and have, essentially, “taught” ourselves as being the “right way of doing things.” It’s what you have always done and, therefore, must be the correct way of doing things.

But, is this really correct? Are we nothing more than a bunch of pre-programmed responses, acting on instinct and not rational thought?

This question becomes very important when it comes to one of the most important aspect of our lives: the relationships we hold most dear.

Perhaps you have found yourself doing the same things in relationships over and over again, always falling into the pattern of self-destructive behavior that leads to the inevitable end of the relationship that you had once held so dear. Or, perhaps you have found yourself constantly questioning whether the relationship you are in is the right one for you, when all indications tell you that it is.

Maybe you just want to know why you do the things you do in the hopes that you can do something to change it.

Can we change the way we behave, the way we think in the deepest parts of our minds?

Are we to be the forever doomed slaves to our subconscious minds and never being able to do anything to achieve some semblance of control over our lives?

It all starts with understanding something fundamental about how emotions work …