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For those who've followed the twisting turning path that is my life, caring enough to drop a note, or lift up a prayer, thank you.
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Fortunately, this isn't about drama. Not about rejection, divorce, hostility or any other negative emotion.Nor is it about weight loss or weight gain, physical problems, or the vagaries of my doctors. All of those are present, it's just they've taken a backseat to something I'd nearly forgotten exists.
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Acceptance.
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If you can't identify with at least half the list you may be hopeless. I'm more or less rolling on the floor laughing myself senseless. Some of them hit quite close to home, others you can only dream of...

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I looked back at my notes. Comdex was started in March of 2002. Twelve years of having a story hanging over my head. In that time, things we take for granted in criminal investigations have moved from an esoteric field (I had help from a Florida State Trooper) to being a TV show.

Cruise ships have had their dirty laundry aired to the public. The worth of the telemedicine equipment described early on to the cruise lines has proven invaluable.

It's been fun. I'm pleased the story will go full circle in Chapter 13.

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I curious. I always have been wandering the site, and a few other site that I've written for. Now the "Account's are getting read, and I'm up to nine years and eleven months. Erin or Piper, can you provide the date????

There is method in my mania. My final Novel is finished. Comdex is FINISHED!!! Yeah The Pruetts. and The Steven meet and discover My..secret.

Well it's been fun! I'd like to post it on that day. The three books all run to 5oo pages or more.

It took about 10 minutes for Simon, Andy, and Patrick to get him dressed. He looked like an oversized baby girl in his pink footed one piece hooded sleeper, except his zipped up the back, and locked. Well that and the fact he was handcuffed and manacled.

“Well now, isn’t that better? Pastel Pink is definitely you. You are going to Massachusetts. Carol is there with your journal, and your files. I’ve been reading all about your activities. Carol is LIVID that you’ve raped those women. She’s even angrier that you would give her jewelry you stole from those women. I’ll tell you now, IF you see her you better be polite because I KNOW she would gladly cut your very teeny wiene off.”

I pulled my K-bar knife again, and this time I wickedly slashed Maxwell from shoulder to hip.

Thank you Chelle for your proof reading/editing skills! Of course, any errors are solely mine.

John pulled the cell-phone out and tried calling Leo. No answer, no message, shit!

Maxwell then tried to call home. At least this time someone answered. “Hello?”

“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?”

“This must be Mr. Maxwell?”

“Yeah, you still haven’t answered me!”

“Oh, well Mr. Maxwell this is Roger Guthrie of the FBI. I’d like to thank you for leaving your safe unlocked.”

John Maxwell hung up the phone, in shock. His safe unlocked?

Impossible.

Inconceivable.

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Yes, Comdex is alive and well. Well the story anyway. This chapter marks the end of the longest Comdex drought. There are three (or four) Chapters in process. Thank you for being understanding.

This chapter introduces a new editor for me. Holly Happy Hart was my editor for years. I miss her desperately. She was my friend, I'd helped her move across country. Now I've found a new editor - MichelleA

I am very fortunate, and so are you. Her comments made the story much more readable.

A Story of Love, Medicine, the Military, Orphans, and Viet Nam
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Caution: A small part of this story depicts events related to the sexual abuse of a child - me. No, it didn’t happen exactly the way written, but close enough I still, have an occasion, flashbacks. ________________________________________________________________

The Chief sort of wilted. “I don’t know how to say this gently. The first BabyLift flight out of Vietnam crashed. It will be on the news tonight. Already the Mayor, and worse, the Newspapers have been clamoring for their favorite Emergency Medical Technician to help. So… you’ll be packing your bags. The Mayor talked to the Governor. The Governor called the President. The President called the Pentagon. The Pentagon called the Governor’s Military office, repeatedly, then the General called your CO at Moffett Field, and then your CO called me. As of 0800 today, you have been federalized.”

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I hardly ever write for the blog. I've recently read a story that deserves all the praise I can heap on it. It's very good. There are a few grammar and spelling errors, but you quickly lose your critical thinking as the story gripes you. Got your attention? heeheehee

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Well, this wasn't supposed to be a question I'd need to ask, but that was before running into the side of a granite boulder. I was supposed to be in Oklahoma the beginning of July. Gee, everything was set, housing, family, even the finances were all a done deal. I was supposed to have moved out from my house, and I would still be leaving more than 1/2 my monthly money so the house (can anyone say investment?) payment would be made.

I’d moved to the Bay Area to participate in the Stanford Gender program. I am, thank you very much, going to be fully, functionally, finally, forever, female in about three months time. Well as female as I can be. I’ll never have my own babies, and that hurts, but NOT as much as living and pretending to be a man…

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Some of you know I'm a pastor. I've been available to anyone who needs me. Usually I've been able to say something reassuring, helpful, etc... Now it's me, I'm feeling adrift, and unable to control the way my life is moving.

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I've been living with a lot of pain for the last two years. The rotator cuff in my left shoulder is pretty torn up. I've been able to function, barely. Yesterday I received word surgery to repair it has been approved. Yeah!

September 24 I go under the knife.

This is critical for me. I have at least two surgeries too get through before I can even contemplate SRS. I'm happy this is finally under way! December I should be able to have surgery on my right ankle. That means I'll be on track for SRS sometime late next year!!

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The Police Were Here for Two Hours!!
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It's amazing how serendipity works. You do something, and immediately it leads to something else totally unexpected.
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Last Night I was doing research on BWS (Battered Women Syndrome). Today DJ (my long suffering spouse) and I picked up my mom. We were taking her to our house to fix a B-Day dinner for her 77th year. We drove along, DJ called out, "did you see that??" I'd been fiddling with something and only caught a glimpse of a woman being shoved and hit.
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Some of you know, I'm a pastor as well as being a MtF in the process of transition. As part of being a pastor I regularly counsel people, many of whom are transgendered themselves. One, is a MtF trying to deal with what it means being trans. I chat with her on the phone every Thursday night. This last week I said something that immediately clicked with both of us. Both thought I should share it.

We know more about being a man than we want, and know less about being a woman than we need.

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I've been on a journey of discovery, pain, love, and hope these last few weeks. I shared some of it, with some of you. You see, my mom remembered my telling her I'd been abused.

I've also spent the last week+ on the road, with my wife DJ most of the time, with one of my sisters and her spouse part of the time, and running down the corridors of my mind whenever I allowed my self to think.

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My grief lies all within, and these external manners of lament are merely shadow to the unseen grief that swells with silence in the tortured soul. ~ William Shakespeare

I would like to remind ALL readers here of the 2011 Transgender Day of Remembrance, November 20, 2011.

I know it's more than a month away, and I will probably submit this again next month, BUT, if you haven't visited the Day of Remembrance website, http://www.transgenderdor.org, I would encourage you to do so.

Why is this so important? Because trans people are in greater danger of being killed.

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I spoke with Holly today. She's running marathons in the hospital (well, walking around the nurse's station). She is in good spirits. The doctors were able to remove the tumor with much less damage than anticipated to the pancreatic duct that joins with the bile duct. It appears her outlook is good (I'd be tempted to say Great!).
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Holly is down to one IV. She is also on the PCA (personally controlled analgesic), but seems to be keeping ahead of the pain.
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I'm passing on a prayer request (or good thoughts, wishes, whatever your tradition is).
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Holly moved from the San Francisco area to Indianapolis in June. Those of you who know her, know what a loving and caring woman she is. She has been to the doctors, and will be undergoing surgery most probably next week.
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Holly has pancreatic cancer.
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Earlier this year, Holly had difficulties. The doctors did a biopsy, and it did not show any cancerous cells.
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It does now.
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PLEASE, according to your tradition or beliefs, pray for Holly.
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It's been a tough 4 or 5 years. Let's see, I told my kids I was transsexual, my church refused to renew my pastor's license, One of my children informed me in no uncertain terms that he wished I HAD killed my self about 3 or 4 years ago. And, it grieves me so but I have to admit, if only to myself (Okay, and all of you!!) that my marriage was shattered years ago, what little is left has been held together my my love, my unwillingness to give up, and a barrel of superglue.