Florida Man Threatens Neighbor With Chainsaw: Except He Can’t Get Chainsaw To Work

Huffington PostStephen Bates, 28, was arrested Saturday in Stuart, Fla. after he allegedly threatened his neighbor, Mark Fuller, first with a knife and then a chain saw. However, he was unable to start the chain saw,TC Palm reported. Fuller told deputies Bates “was angry about Fuller purchasing his brother’s truck,” according to WPBF. After threatening to cut Fuller with a knife, police say, he returned to his home but then came back wielding a chain saw. A neighborhood witness told deputies she heard Bates saying, “I am going to kill you. I am going to [expletive] kill you.” After his unsuccessful attempt to start the chain saw, he allegedly threw it against the side of Fuller’s house,CBS 12 reported. Bates has been charged with two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and is being held on $10,000 bond at the Martin County Jail.

Fucking Florida, where you threaten your neighbor with a deadly weapon that you are too stupid to operate. Hey Stephen Bates here’s a pointer, if you are going to attempt to kill your neighbor with a chainsaw, you probably should know at least how to turn it on. Next time maybe take a practice run and chop down some trees, so you know how the weapon works before you try to kill your neighbor. I love Bates’ move when he realizes he is too dumb to operate the chainsaw, he throws it against the side of his neighbors house in frustration, like a typical Floridian criminal.

This concludes another episode of “Fucking Florida: Tales From America’s Most Fucked Up State” for more click the “Fucking Florida” tag on this page. There is plenty more where this came from.