Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I have a few bosses at work. Yes, more than one. More than two. I have three bosses. If ever there was a way of trying to tell someone they need more supervision....having three bosses is it. Of course, I am blogging while at work so that could be the issue. But I am taking a quick break and I rarely take lunches. I can validate anything.

So I was talking to Boss #2, who I actually really respect and like. He is almost married to this place though. Honestly, he gets here at 6:00 AM and doesn't leave before 6:00 PM. One day last week I was excited because I worked more than he did. Yes, one day in 8 months. Anyway...I am the resident candidate entertainer. When we have a candidate coming in from out of town I have to pick them up, take them to dinner, etc. It sounds glamorous. It is not. It is actually tiring. It is a good way to interview them, however. I made the mistake of scheduling two college grads to interview back to back (different days). This means free dinners and lunches, but long hours.

Today I had to drop one of the candidates off at 2:30 and pick one up at 5:30. I was going to go home and rest during that time, but needed to come back to work. Just a minute ago he came in my office and you do you know what he had the nerve to tell me???

"Wow, you are such a whimp for not going home."

How awesome is that?? I mean, awesome in the sense that he was ok with me going home for a few hours. Not awesome as in "he called me a whimp and I think he kinda meant it". At least that is what I'm going with.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A quick email exchange this morning led to this post. It's probably good too, I was starting to worry about not having light-hearted posts anymore. As much as I try not to be, I am just too darn sarcastic. And awesome.

You know how most people just tell us what they think we want to hear? Well, I am thinking of things I DON'T like to hear.

1. The alarm. Really, does anyone? And if you comment and say you do, I know you are lying and will no longer be my friend.
2. Fingernails on a chalkboard. Have you noticed it isn't as bad if you do it? So making others hear the awful sound is sometimes worth it.
3. "I know, but..." Just say it. Just say "You're right". Was that so hard? I am extremely guilty of this. But I'm awesome so it is ok.
4. "No". when you mean yes.
5. "Yes, dear". Bullcrap. Trust me, it doesn't work as much as you think it does.
6. The TV on when no one is watching.
7. People who talk just to talk. It really is ok to have silence. Of course your talking covers up my under the breath comments.
8. Woodpeckers on vinyl siding. If you've never heard it, come on over. You just have to bring something with you like coffee or wine. Or both.
9. When someone says "you probably don't want to go in there". As in, I just let out last night's bean and spinach burrito.
10. On that same note, I basically don't like to hear anyone in the bathroom.
11. Gum smacking. I'm a gum chewer, but I can't stand to hear someone smack their gum. Yes, I'm talking to you.
12. Anything that has to do with snot NOT coming out of your nose. You know, those people who make that awful noise that is making me dry heave right now just thinking about it.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Brad and I are kinda in a stressful place right now. Luckily not with our marriage, but we've got a lot going on, some decisions we need to make, basically just life!

Last night I was particularly stressed, and I'm not a good stressed out person. I get cranky (crankier), impatient (more impatient), and all those other bad adjectives. We went to bed late due to a dog related incident (would anyone like a particularly snuggly and affectionate dog that just happens to shed?) and I just couldn't sleep. I envisioned myself laying there for hours and then envisioned myself getting up to fold laundry and clean. Luckily that didn't come to fruition. So I prayed. I have to admit, my prayer life is lacking and I wish I was better. But last night I just prayed for God. When I pray I rarely ask for things for myself. Last night I begged for things for myself. I begged for His guidance, His strength, His mercy and a big whopping dose of His patience.

And then I felt it. I felt Him taking over and me allowing it. I felt myself relax and I was almost immediately asleep. I woke up this morning and I'm sad to say, I didn't think anything of it. While driving to work I was struck by it while I was thinking about what my day will hold. And another peace filled me. It was amazing to have that peace, just when I needed it.

I've had a favorite benediction since I was a kid. I get goosebumps everytime it is said in church. I give it to all of you today.

The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Monday, March 8, 2010

I have a wonderful sister in law (Brad's sister). I don't talk about her much on here because I am selfish. But today is her birthday (yes, only 4 days after Brad's), yesterday was her daughter's birthday and today is one of her son's birthdays. I guess at the point when you start having kids it is ok to have birthdays close to or the same as your children. At least that way you are guaranteed cake and presents, even if they aren't for you.

I used to think my sister in law didn't like me. I was very nervous around her, which could be why I broke a piece of her stemware. She just seems so...perfect. She is raising 4 extremely well behaved boys. She homeschools them. She cooks dinner (I can't even do this and there is only two of us). She finds time to do things I can only dream about. And she is so stinking smart.

You may notice that I mentioned her daughter's birthday and that she was raising 4 boys. Her daughter would have been 14 now, if the tumor had not taken her too early. She would be texting her friends, reading so many books, brushing her long dark hair. She would be having crushes, singing along to songs on the radio. She would be fighting with her brothers, and probably her parents. She would be reading about God, instead of being in Heaven. She would be talking about what she wants to be when she grows up. She would be beautiful.

Caroline was a stronger Christian at three than I am at 33. Her love was so pure you couldn't mistake it. And her smile and giggle so contagious I catch myself smiling now, just thinking of her. Even if she isn't here, she still brings joy.

My heart goes out to her parents and brothers right now. None of her brothers got to meet her, but they all know her. While the memories of Caroline are too few, they are strong enough to last a lifetime.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

We are starting a Biggest Loser contest at work Monday. I am competing. The contest runs for 10 weeks and I'm not sure what is a healthy goal. I would like to lose about 30 lbs total (not in 10 weeks). Can anyone tell me what a realistic goal should be for the contest?

Friday, March 5, 2010

Most of you know Brad's birthday was Thursday. He turned older than he would probably like to admit, but he is still older than me. ;) I've had the honor of being in his life for 14 years now. Brad and I have been through a lot and I'm actually thankful for that. I'm thankful to know that we didn't take the easy way out and I know we can make it through anything.

I often comment to Brad that I wish he could understand how much I feel when I tell him I love him. Not the times when we are hanging up the phone, but when I feel it so deep in my heart that I can't think of anything else to say to him. Due to my lack of words with him, I thought I would give you faithful readers a few of the reasons I think Brad is awesome.

1. Have you seen him? He is hot.
2. He is my personal electric blanket at night.
3. He can make a really good fire.
4. He is a great cook.
5. He makes sure my car is functioning properly.
6. When he sits beside me on the couch he always lets me prop my feet on him.
7. He is passionate about the things he loves and he wants to share them with those that mean the most to him.
8. He lets me go to bed at 10:00.
9. As much as I hate to admit it, I know he will eventually let me get my way...on most things.
10. I trust him completely.
11. I love it when he holds my hand, even if just for a minute.
12. He will give me a compliment just when I need it...like when I'm complaining about the size of my butt.
13. I love to hear him play music and sing.
14. I love that he has salt and pepper hair.
15. I love his mischeivious smile. But I know I usually don't want to know what he is thinking when I see that smile.
16. He is an amazing handyman. He can fix anything.
17. He showed me grace. And he continues to show me grace.
18. He taught me how to love.
19. He is a good man. An amazing man.
20. I can't imagine my life without him.

I'm afraid this post doesn't do him justice. But it does have one really long list so that makes me happy!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Actually, she didn't, but I wish she had. One of my friends uses song titles as the titles for all her blog posts. I think that is a great idea, I stole it from her today (not the title, but the idea).

Today is a crappy day. There is just no other way to say it. C.R.A.P.P.Y. And it's only 9:00. Yesterday I played with the idea of taking a vacation day today. God put that reason in my head for a reason. He knew I would think it was a crappy day. But me, being the person I am, decided I shouldn't waste it.

Go ahead, you know you want to say it. Here, I'll say it with you.

IDIOT.

Sometimes I wonder if what I have done is so bad. Most days I know it is, but all days I know that regardless what I have done, He is not punishing me. Even if I think it feels that way.

I'm not trying to illicit pity. But if you want to shower me with gifts, chocolates, and flowers, who am I to stop you. No, really, I won't stop you. Honestly.

But there are some days I just want to feel like a normal person. And the things I want are normal. I want to be a mom. I want to pick up my own screaming child and console them. I want to be the one that they want when they are sick. I want to be a better wife. The one my husband deserves. I want to have a smaller butt.

I think it is hard for people to truly empathize with the issues of others. As much as we try, we cannot.

And believe it or not, I am truly happy for my friends that have the things I want. I don't look at them and harbor jealous thoughts. But today, I just want to be happy for me. And I'm not there yet, but I'm hoping.

About Me

I was born in Florida and hated my parents when they moved me to NC at the age of 10. But I have loved it ever since. I am one of those few people who liked high school. I was lucky enough to attend UNC Chapel Hill and my children will have no choice but to do the same. It was there I met and married my wonderful husband. My life is wonderful, but completely different from how I envisioned. And thats ok with me!