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Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Haley Reading Group: Gaurav Raj Telhan's “Begin Cutting"

Gaurav Raj’s article “Begin Cutting” illustrates a medical student’s first encounter with cutting a cadaver. Filled with details, Raj highlights the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that go along with cutting open a human being, even after death. Ultimately, the article provides an inside look of working with a cadaver and how it can change one’s outlook on life and death.

Raj’s amount of detail in the article is especially fascinating. At one point, Raj notes “He shut off the power and gripped Stella’s split face with his hands. Back and forth, he torqued her skull until it was freed from the blade" (267). Here, Raj illustrates how the professor had to dislodge Stella’s skull from the saw once it became stuck.

After reading Raj’s article, what was one aspect of examining the cadaver that caught your attention? Why was that passage noteworthy to you? Please provide a page number citation.

60 comments:

My senior year of high school, I was able to go to a cadaver lab in St. Louis where we viewed dead bodies. I think the human body is so fascinating. Every organ, skin, and limb, all make up something that can breathe and function on its own. All of page 266, where Gaurav describes the dissection of the skull and the abdomen was very interesting. I was trying to imagine being able to see the cracked chess way of a person and able to see their heart and lungs. When they put Stella on the cutting block, it kind of made the body feel like a piece of wood in a sense. They used the saw to cut through her skull and even in the reading he described it as "human sawdust". One thing which was interesting is that the professor had to close the jaw himself because it was taking too long for the saw to cut through.

What caught my attention was the thought made about how short life is, "His crass humor was strangely alleviating. Distancing ourselves from the mass of flesh on the table (some might say dehumanizing it) made what came next easier" (262). I understand that it is normal to "dehumanize" in a situation like this, but I feel that dehumanizing Stella during her autopsy somehow diminishes the life that she had.

The part of the article that caught my attention was on page 266 when Raj was talking about the appearance of Stella, "Not much was left of Stella now. Her abdomen had been eviscerated...". This quote and the next paragraph was interesting to me because I found it strange that they could talk about a person like this or still be able to look at a person in this state. I don't think I would be able to dissect a person or be able to see a person dissected. It was also interesting how nonchalant the professor was about the entire thing.

One aspect of examining the cadaver that caught my attention was the extent to which they dismantled Stella’s body. In the story it says “Not much was left of Stella now. Her abdomen had been eviscerated, emptied of bowels, kidneys, stomach, spleen, gallbladder, pancreas and liver… the top of her skull, which we had removed with a hammer and a chisel when the bone saw simply couldn’t cut it… her brain rested in a two-gallon plastic bucket on the floor” (Telhan 266). This excerpt goes into the very specific details on how Stella’s body was taken apart, I didn’t know that medical students saw into their skulls or jaws. I find those details extremely gory but interesting at the same time because those cadavers help students discover new things about the human body. To my surprise, they use every aspect of the human body to do so.-Jazsmine Towner

After reading Raj’s article, an aspect of examining the cadaver that caught my attention that years later Raj wonders about the woman. "Twelve years have passed since that first day in the anatomy lab, and the image of that anonymous woman beneath the polyurethane veil still grips me" (260). This passage was noteworthy to me because she sets out on a journey to find out what kind of woman the cadaver was at the time she was living.

I just recently watched a documentary about cadavers, and how the job that deals with them is not easy. I found this story interesting from a medical and learning standpoint. It is unfortunate that Stella's life ended, but it is life. And, in a way she is giving back by letting the medical field use her body to learn more.

I found the part of the article where Raj tried to alleviate his fear of dissection by applying the importance of it quite interesting. He mentions how "...the relationship we were cultivating with this body would shape our relationship with future patients" (265). He goes on to say how if one could respect the dead body lying in front of them then how could they not respect a living human that they would care for someday. This caused me to think about the time I had to dissect a cat in high school. I was terrified and quite disturbed because cats are pets. However, I calmed myself by realizing that, someday, I may have to operate on a cat considering, at the time, I wanted to be a veterinarian. It is important to learn the body parts and make proper incisions. All in all, it will come to be very beneficial.

The most interesting quote was on page 264 when Telhan addresses viewing their work from a different perspective, "But as I sat there in the auditorium, thinking about Coles and his belief in the power of our vocabularies to shape our moral imaginations, I wondered: What are we today? Butchers?" (Telhan p. 264). When I was younger all I wanted to be was a doctor. As I grew up and learned about the different aspects of the medical profession I slowly became less interested. I believe working with cadavers is a very essential part of a doctor's education; however, I do believe it can cause people to feel uneasy about how the cadavers are being treated because in the end they are/were people. Although this work is important I believe it is also relevant to consider the question Telhan asked himself and not that one specifically necessarily but questions that address the different actions of future doctors and making sure they do not cross any moral lines.Zaria W.

Being that i never got a chance to do this in school i found the process of prepping the cadaver interesting but what really caught my attention was the list of ways to become one. On page 261 the author says,"was she a willing donor? A stranger with no final resting ground?was she a practical woman? An idealist? Did she die alone? I was always under the impression that it was something that could only be volunteered for

The part of the article that I found fascinating was on page 266, where it states, “not much was left of Stella now. Her abdomen had been eviscerated, emptied of bowels, kidneys, stomach, spleen, gallbladder, pancreas and liver… the top of her skull, which we had removed with a hammer and a chisel when the bone saw simply couldn’t cut it… her brain rested in a two-gallon plastic bucket on the floor”. I find it fascinating because I am majoring in a health-care profession and I enjoy watching a lot of crime shows. I love how the human body works and all that it can do. And also, I feel that even with all the organs gone, we are still a person, even in the dead. Even though the details were explicitly detailed and gory, I find is fascinating at the same time.

One aspect of the article that caught my attention was on pages 264 and 265 where Raj tries to address morality before he begins dissection. He attempts to explain to his classmates the way they should view Stella in which he says, "the relationship we were cultivating with this body would shape our relationship with future patients" (265). I think this is important to understand because it would help keep future doctors from becoming cold toward their patients. They would be more willing to see their patient as a person who needs help.-Deborrah B.

Throughout the whole article, one passage that stuck out to me the most was the part describing the the cadaver. Raj stated “Not much was left of Stella now. Her abdomen had been eviscerated, emptied of bowels, kidneys, stomach, spleen, gallbladder, pancreas and liver…" (Telhan 266). I felt like the detail that was given was so descriptive, and it really showed how much it stuck out to them. This is beneficial though, cause it really prepares these students for what they'll see in their field of work.

I could not read the entire article as the entire topic of dead bodies make me uncomfortable to the point of almost vomiting, but the parts that I did read were fascinating in a scientific yet morbid sense. On page 261, Raj decided to look into Stella and why she was chosen, and the factors that go into choosing a cadaver interested me: "...VSAP states that only intact bodies are eligible for scientific research. Because Stella was not physically damaged or disfigured, she was considered suitable for dissection. ...Other things that Stella was not: ...autopsied or embalmed... beginning stages of decomposition... not suspected of having contagious and communicable diseases.... (261)" Essentially, the bodies have to be perfect in order to be dissected, and this interested me because that would mean the body would be more memorable as their features are clear.

A point in the passage that really caught my attention was the part on page 266. This is the first point in which the author truly and vividly describes cutting into the cadaver. I pretty much felt the uneasiness of the author when they detail what is left of the cadaver and go into detail about what it is like to cut the cadaver. The author describes the debris that comes from the cadaver as "human sawdust". I think this was a very interesting story to read and I like how the author walked us through the story with their uneasiness. I felt like I was right there with them.-Alexis R.

What really struck me was how emotionless the professors seemed to be around this. I guess after having done this so long it has become normal. Everyone else was shocked or scared of seeing a human being cut down to basically nothing. On page 268 the professor says "We only know them by the number assigned to them by the State Anatomical Program." Even though it is for privacy reasons it still seems cold to mark a human as just a numbered carcass.

The process of disassembling Stella's body as described on page 266 caught my attention. When I read about her brain in a bucket, parts of her growing mold, human sawdust, and her teeth breaking, it was hard not to visualize that.

(I looked up an electronic copy for this and that didn't have page numbers so.. the last page.)

I took a forensics class in high school and was a fan of Bones (tv show) so nothing really stuck out to me until the end. I liked the morbid, but sweet use of the word "stardust" at the end, in contrast with the "sawdust" at the beginning. Other than the author's raw style of diction ("eviscerated") and depictions. The content was fairly.. the equivalent of being an adult observing a child raise a caterpillar into a butterfly, then that child learning that the butterfly later got eaten by a praying mantis. Like.. that's life. Personally, none of the content was shocking, eye-opening, or even that worthwhile reading because of my personal experiences with dead animals (including people), but it's written well so I appreciated for it's usefulness to people that are not me.

One point in the passage that caught my attention was when Telhan was talking about the skull of Stella. He said, "The top of her skull, which we had removed with a hammer and chisel...save what we could," (266). This part of the passage was noteworthy to me because it was so gruesome of a picture that was depicted in my head of the scene. I couldn't imagine going to a cadaver lab and doing lab experiments like this simply because I don't think my stomach would be able to handle seeing all of that.

After reading this article the part I found interesting is on page 266 when Raj states, "Her brain rested in a two-gallon plastic bucket on the floor. We could now study her eyes from the inside of her hollow skull". This quote stood out to me because it seems so morbid to think about a human body like this. Also this quote is interesting to me because didn't know that in order to study the eyes in particular we would need to remove the brain from the skull completely.

What caught my attention the most was the description on pages 265-266 about the six incisions that they had to make on Stella's body. When they described the layers of the body and their textures, it reminded me of the autopsy that I observed this semester during my internship. I was to watch the pathologist cut into and examine all these layers described in the book. Even thought I didn't actually participate in the autopsy, I too felt some of the queasiness that the students felt.

One aspect of examining the Cadaver that caught my attention occurred on pages 266-267. The text states, "Then there was a grating metallic screech, the sudden sound of metal biting metal. Sparks erupted from Stella's face. The air filled with the scent of singed flesh as embers spilled from her mouth. 'She's on fire!' one of my partners hollered wryly." This part caught my attention because this is during the final stages of dissecting Stella's body and a major scare for the group occurred. Imagine already haven gone through and seen so much and then this happened. I don't know if I could see myself dissecting an actual cadaver.

Though this whole passage was thoroughly disturbing to me, the line that stood out the most to me was on page 262, when "a classmate asked, 'Who's gonna shave the hooch?'" This surprised me because I didn't expect such a question to be asked. The thought of shaving the hair off of a cadaver gives me the heebie-jeebies. This article as a whole gave me a new level of respect for medical students.

One thing that caught me by surprise was that fact that medical examiners have to shave each person’s body and clean them thoroughly. It has not crossed my mind that another human being has to do that to another person. I could not imagine having to do something like that. On page 262, one of the students made a joke about having to shave Stella’s private areas. I completely understand why many don’t pursue a career in health and medicine.

The part that caught my attention was when page 260 states,"twelve years have passed since that first day in the anatomy lab, and the image of that anonymous woman beneath the polyurethane veil still grips me". I'm perusing a career in the healthcare field, and I've heard a lot of doctors/nurses/pharmacists talk about the one patient that changed their life and that they will never forget. The cadaver seems to be that unforgettable "patient" for Raj and likely impacts the way he practices medicine.

The part of the examination that caught my attention was during the examination of the skull. On page (266) it states " Then three was a grating metallic screech, the sound metal biting metal. Sparks erupted from Stella's face. The air filled with scent of signed flesh as embers mouth. "She's on fire" one of my partners hollered it certainly seemed that way as the sparks flew." This passage was noteworthy because it was the big moment / climax of dissection. As a reader we followed with detailed descriptions the steps and this was a big movement in the process. Overall I enjoyed the article and I felt as if I was actually there participating in the disection while reading this article.

One thing that stood out to me most is when Telhan stated, "We could now study her eyes from the inside of her hollow skull" (266). A lot of the descriptions were very graphic, and it was kind of sad to read about. They kind of treated the body as if it was never a human being to begin with. I guess that's the only way our future physicians can really learn, though. It definitely gave me confirmation that I have no interest in being a doctor or nurse.

After reading this, I cannot say there was one part that stuck out to me more than the others. This entire passage was a journey of emotions ranging from amazement to uneasy. Therefore, I will simply choose one of the many. "Carving paths through Stella's flesh, we aimed for symmetry" (265). I choose this because this sentence and everything that follows it makes me think of just how complex and intricate the human body is. It makes me think of all of the cadavers that people have had to cut open and study or examine for us to know how the human body works and functions. What it looks like. I don't know why, but that thought just fascinates me. That someone, anyone, could cut open a body and for the most part know exactly what to expect. We will never stop being curious, and from that, we will forever be wise.

What left me speechless was on page 266 when the text says, "Not much was left of Stella now. Her abdomen had been eviscerated - emptied of bowels, kidneys, stomach, spleen, gallbladder, pancreas, and liver." It's kind of haunting that the body that they are cutting into once moved. I can't imagine the difficulties of that particular job. It's so gory and enlightening at the same time.

On page 262,a classmate displayed crude humor towards the woman's body. I found this interesting because police officers use similar tactics to make themselves at ease. It's interesting to see different jobs act similarly. There are times when I make jokes in inappropriate situations in order to make myself feel better in certain situations as well. Amazing how the world works.

One thing that’s intrigued me was the writers viewpoint of dissection and it’s purpose. He writes, “ maybe like the form, Stella could be seen as an ‘instrument’ ... her body made a vehicle for the declaration of intent calls ‘scientific study’...” (261). This is a medical student saying this, who should be for the cause. It makes me wonder if dissection practices are absolutely necessary and trustworthy. I also appreciate though how he expresses empathy towards people who have entrusted him to work on them.—aliyah johnson

What I found interesting was “Not much was left of Stella now. Her abdomen had been eviscerated, emptied of bowels, kidneys, stomach, spleen, gallbladder, pancreas and liver… the top of her skull, which we had removed with a hammer and a chisel when the bone saw simply couldn’t cut it… her brain rested in a two-gallon plastic bucket on the floor” (Telhan 266) because in high school I went to a cadaver lab and was able to see and hold a lot of the organs listed.

This chapter very interesting yet also hard to read, as it contained graphic descriptions about dead bodies. One thing I found particularly interest was in page 261, during the process of Raj selecting a cadaver to use: "...only intact bodies are eligible for scientific research. Because Stella was not physically damaged or disfigured, she was considered suitable for dissection.” This was rather interesting and allowed me to discover that only the bodies that are in really good shape are dissected.

The passage that stood out to me was on page 264 right before the first cut down the spine began. The author and his classmates were full of nerves and crossing into territory new to them. The author looked at his classmates and said, "This cadaver is a blueprint for the future. It's a map of more than just these organs, but a guide to the bodies of the patients... the living ones we'll see one day." This shows that the author understood the true importance and weight of what he was doing and why it was essential to his career. By thinking about it this way and sharing these thoughts with his classmates, it allowed them to proceed with the dissection even though it was strange, terrifying, and morbid.

One aspect of examining a cadaver that caught my attention was on page 262 when the author states that “comfort can be taken in knowing that medical students no longer have to find the bodies they dissect.” I found this part interesting just because I had no idea medical student used to find their own bodies in order to learn how to dissect them.

This article was absolutely fascinating but also difficult to read. However, I believe that was the intent. What I found specifically intriguing was the level of detail throughout the whole description that allowed for visualization, as if you were experiencing. On page 266, it spoke of visuals and used familiar smells to put you in the scene.

one page 261 where it says "was she a willing donor? A stranger with no final resting ground?was she a practical woman? An idealist? Did she die alone?" caught my attention because I donating your body was a choice you made. I did not realize that someone could make that decision for you if you had no where to go. Also it is not always realized that each cadaver has a story.

One aspect of examining the cadaver that caught my attention was how they distance themselves from the cadaver. I can only imagine how hard it is to perform an autopsy on someone who once was living and now they are just another corpse. However, I’m sure that the more they do it, the easier it becomes to deal with. -Carlie Bibbs

The most memorable part of this chapter for me starts on page 266. The passage starts with "Not much was left of Stella now..." and continues on until "Stella spit fire."The whole passage was filled with detail and captivated my attention until I was done reading it. This brought me back to each time I had to do a dissection for classes in both high school and college.It's took me back to those moments and reminded me of how I felt both excited yet nervous to be handling the body of something. It reminded me of how careful I tried to be and how I was so afraid to do something wrong even though the things being dissected were no longer living.

“His humor was strangely alleviating. Distancing ourselves from the mass of flesh on the table (some might say dehumanizing it) made what came next easier” (Page 262). This article was slightly disturbing to me because it made me realize the lengths people have to go to in order to do certain jobs while also caring for their mental health. I couldn’t imagine having to cut into bodies everyday for a living, and the damage it could do to one’s psychological state.

The part of the article that stood out the most to me was this part here: “Not much was left of Stella now. Her abdomen had been eviscerated, emptied of bowels, kidneys, stomach, spleen, gallbladder, pancreas and liver…" (p. 266). There was many parts where the article was very graphic and hard to imagine because of the gory details, but it really depicts exactly what a medical student or professional would have to go through when examining a cadaver. I know I couldn’t do it, so I respect those who have the skill set and composure to experience something like that.

Page 260, "Twelve years have passed since that first day in the anatomy lab, and the image of that anonymous woman beneath the polyurethane veil still grips me," is what got to me the most. Just the fact that something that occured so long ago still had a grip on him is crazy but also not suprising. I do not think I would be able to forget something like a cadavar either. It is unfortunate though, that that instance hss such an impact on him and all the way throughout his career as well. I still remember when I dissected a pig in high school, and that wss enough for me personally. I could not imagine it being the human body instead.

When the text read "His crass humor was strangely alleviating. Distancing ourselves from the mass of flesh on the table (some may say dehumanizing it) made what came next easier" (262). The word dehumanizing has such a negative connotation but I think in this case it made sense. I think getting too emotionally involved with the life of the cadaver (as Telhan did) would cause some type of emotional stress/tension on a person. That is evident because this particular cadaver did have a major impact on him as he stated he remembers it even 12 years later. I think this article really showed what life is for medical students and it takes special kind of individuals to perform these types of jobs.

“Not much was left of Stella now. Her abdomen had been eviscerated, emptied of bowels, kidneys, stomach, spleen, gallbladder, pancreas and liver. Her chest wall had been cracked open to get at her heart and lungs… her brain rested in a two-gallon plastic bucket on the floor” (Page 266) This caught my attention because of how specific it was and just how much her body was chopped up. I have never had anything like this described to me and after reading this I can't say I ever want it described to me again.

On page 266 there is a phrase that reads "human sawdust." This is something that I have never thought about before and that Raj thought about a lot. Human sawdust is a phrase that people should never have to think about, because it sounds so inhumane. It sounds like something a sadistic serial killer fantasizes about. Raj explained the sawing of Stella's skull in so much detail when he could have just said the latter and been done with it. Raj understood that Stella had a life at one point and had a beating heart and I think that would be so hard to take her apart piece by piece as if she was a puzzle.

The passage that caught my attention, and stuck with me, was the quote where Gaurav talks about his instructor during the autopsy. It reads, "His crass humor was strangely alleviating. Distancing ourselves from the mass of flesh on the table (some might say dehumanizing it) made what came next easier" (Raj 262). When I was in high school, I was able to visit NIU's cadaver lab and I remember thinking that this would be my opportunity to really decide if I wanted to pursue medical school. In the past, I loved dissections, but these were people and their lives held meaning and weight - they were human, like me. So, I can understand the need for a joke - the weight of the situation is heavy.This being said, I already knew that doctors had to have an emotional switch and this quote made my heart pang with understanding and but it made my stomach lurch with disgust. I wouldn't be upset about it, from a scientific point of view. But thinking about this in relation to my grandmother, who is donating her body, makes me sick.

One aspect of the passage that caught my attention was how detailed the authored was. For example, in the line“He shut off the power and gripped Stella’s split face with his hands. Back and forth, he torqued her skull until it was freed from the blade" (267). The way they describe it is very grotesque and detailed and I couldn't imagine being able to talk about it, let alone write about it.

The comment, "Twelve years have passed since that first day in the anatomy lab, and the image of that anonymous woman beneath the polyurethane veil still grips me" (260). This strikes me because it shows that Gaurav cared and to me makes me believe he'll be a better doctor because of it. I feel like a lot of times doctors can distance themselves from the situation at hand to not let their emotions effect their job but at the same time I believe that the emotion is what makes you do your job well. Gaurav still holding the thoughts and experiences from seeing his first cadaver 12 years later shows me he cared then and that he'll care now.

I found this article very interesting, specifically because I am a biology major considering applying for medical school. One interesting part that stuck out to me was " Maybe, like the form, Stella could be seen as an "instrument" -her right of person hood legally revoked and her body made a vehicle...". This point of view, although very dehumanizing, seems very true and almost scary. In one sense, it is nice for scientists to have access to human bodies for study. However, although there is no soul in that body, it seems wrong to just use it as if it were some experience that is needed to pass a medical school course.

The article was very interesting. On page 260, the author says that "twelve years have passed since that first day.....the image of that anonymous woman beneath the polyurethane veil still grips me." This sent a chill through my body and I could actually visualize what the author was saying. I think that this section shows that Gaurav has second thoughts about his experiences with dead bodies. Moreover, it shows a slight dislike towards his choices but his ability to overcome fear is so great, making him appear to be a good doctor.

One aspect of examining the cadaver that caught my attention was the attempts to portray the human body as an object in order to cope psychologically. An example of this is on page 266, “…a fine ash was thrown up by the cutting—human sawdust”. For Raj, cutting the body was the most difficult task mentally. Calling it human sawdust was a powerful way to invoke imagery. People are unaffected by sawing a piece of wood and seeing sawdust; however, when the wood is a human body, there is a mental obstacle of sympathy to overcome.

"Her brain rested in a two-gallon plastic bucket on the floor. We could now study her eyes from the inside of her hollow skull," states Raj on page 266. The entire passage has this haunting nonchalance. The thought of seen another human being's brain in a bucket... ON THE FLOOR... is too wild a thought, yet Raj is so removed. I suppose this ability to disconnect is what makes medical professions cut-out for their prospective fields. The human body is no longer a person, but a learning tool; I'm not sure I could ever desensitize myself to see it as Raj and so many others do.

I’d have to say two things that caught my attention about the examination of the cadaver were the amount of detail he describes everything in. From the amount of hair the woman had to how much translucent her scalp was. That amount of detail was almost scary when reading because you can visualize that. The other thing I found interesting was they way he interprets the whole situation. On page 261 he talks about how “she was a tool, then, to unearth knowledge. A tool that the state reserves the right to discard if deemed unacceptable, like a dull knife or crooked plane.” Having this outlook when you’re in his field is kind of a weird way to look at things I feel like.

One part that I found the most interesting was on page 261 the author says ,"was she a willing donor? A stranger with no final resting ground? Was she a practical woman? An idealist? Did she die alone?” These questions are in attempt to humanize someone who is no longer a being. Her body was dismantled and it became evident that these practices may be wrong, but we must do so in the name of science, education, and medicine. Shardai J-H

The one aspect of the article that caught my attention was the fact that they were using the same razor on all of the deceased people. “Caught between its blades were the hairs of neighboring cadavers, already shaved”(262). This passage was noteworthy to because it is gross. Why can’t they get their own razors? That’s not even sanitary. Why take all of the other sanitary precautions such as keeping them apart and zipped up if they’ll be shaved with the same razor. Lyric B.

What stood out to me was on page 264, when Raj says, "This cadaver is a blueprint...for my future. It's a map of...more than just these organs, but a guide to the bodies of the patients...the living ones we'll see one day." This really caught my attention because he's making it clear that Stella's body is going to waste, that this experience will shape how they interact with patients in the future.

One aspect of the article that was noteworthy came from pg. 264 when Raj tried to address morality before he begins dissection. He said that the relationship they cultivate with the body would shape their relationship with future patients. I think this is important to understand because if they can understand that even in death this person is still human, then they will hopefully still treat the body with respect and understand the relationship going forward.

One aspect that caught my attention was the way that he described his cadaver's body in such great detail and how he started to think about his own body and how it was temporary. He paid attention to everything from her scalp to her eyebrows to her face structure and etc.He stated how anxious he felt. I started to think about if I was in his situation. Would I be comfortable? It made me think about how mentally strong people really in his field really have to be. They have to see a lot of dead bodies.I personally couldn't do it. I can barely look at a body at a funeral.

Concerning the passage as a whole, what I found the most interest in was that Raj kept relating the cadaver infront of him to different ideas. He related the cadaver to History on pages 262-263, to his personal life where he had a flash back before class as he was standing over Stella's shaven body (pg. 263). The cadaver also made him think about fairy tails such as Dr. Frankenstein (pg. 267).