I have been craving some creative work as of late. Especially today after concept doctoring a few ideas as I tended to the lawn. But the creative juices are flowing but not to paper - or keyboard in this case. So much for a day off.

But I guess it wouldn't hurt to type out a few things that will help me clear up some of the crappy clutter in my head keeping me stilted towards the "in" part of the sanity paradigm.

So there are several stories floating in my head as of late: a story that I may try to film this summer, a horror film about a theater troupe. However, this "writing" a story thing just isn't happening tonight. I also have an idea for my next (two) sci fi feature length script(s), but those are still in the works and behind my personal piece. A couple other short films are also in the mind but not out there.

Also have two current fanfictions on the net that should be updated to satisfy followers. Not to mention a Soul Sacrifice one I just tall myself as I play it on my Vita, and an XMen one I'm just currently fucking around with when bored.

It's also been months since my game.

And doesn't help that two individuals I work with know someone from my past who I miss dearly and working with them only reminds me of the fun I had with these people and what I could do to get to be friends with them again. Kinda brings me down for the day.

Well, this has been my Dump post about herping and derping and failing and flailing.

Literates would recognize the above as a true bastardization of Romeo's lines during the balcony scene of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. And while translation has been butchered by my changes in an attempt to set the mood for this review, I feel it is only appropriate for the review I am here to give.Lordi has been my favorite band since, perhaps around 2007. If you are unfamiliar, they are a Hard Rock band from Finland heavily influenced by KISS and other hair metal such as Alice Cooper, Twisted Sister, etc. They do not limit the influence to their own sound. Since the band first went public in the late 1990s and early 2000s, they have hidden their faces.

Mister Lordi, the lead singer and main artist of the band

G-Stealer, the first bassist who left before the band became known, but was the bassist for the newly unearthed "Bend Over and Pray To The Lord" originally recorded in 1997 but not released until 2012

Magnum, the bassist who recorded all the bass for their debut CD "Get Heavy" (2002), but left prior to its release. He also appeared in their first music video "Would You Love A Monsterman" back in 2001.

Kalma(ged), the Bassist who joined the band after Magnum's departure, appearing on the Album for "Get Heavy," appeared and played for their second album "The Monsterican Dream" (2004), and recorded Bass for the album "The Arockalypse" (2006), once again leaving prior its release.

Ox, the current Bassist who appeared on "The Arockalypse" and performed in Eurovision when the Lordi song "HardRock Hallelujah" took home the very first win for Finland in this contest.

Amen, the guitarist who started with and is still with the band for all these years.

Enary, the original keyboardist, who is rumored to have been kicked out of the band for physical violence against guitarist Amen. She joined early under the original name 81077 and remained until after "The Monsterican Dream."

Lady Awa, the keyboardist who joined the band for "The Arockalypse" and the Eurovision win, but parted ways with the band in 2012 for personal reasons.

Hella, the current keyboardist.

Kita, the original drummer from 2000, who left in October of 2010 to pursue his side band Stala & So and wanted to appear without his mask. He is currently the lead singer of Stala & So.

Otus, the drummer following Kita's departure. He joined Lordi for their tour following the "Babez for Breakfast" (2010) release. Unfortunately, he passed in early 2012, but his influence to the band brought the more metal attitude of the newest album "To Beast or Not To Beast" (2013).

And finally Mana, the current drummer, who I believe looks like a cross between Rob Zombie and a beetle.

So now you know the band and a bit of their history. I learned of them in 2007, after they had won the Eurovision song contest and became an instant fan of their style, mainly their costumes and their musical style. At this point, only their "The Arockalypse" album was available in America, so I purchased it on iTunes and ordered their two previous albums. I've been a fan ever since.

On March 1st, 2013, Lordi released their new album with the new lineup. Their first CD with a new drummer in over ten years. It is also one of their heaviest. Each album has their own unique taste to it. "Get Heavy" established their monster rock, with a somewhat industrial sound (Like songs "Biomechanic Man" and "Devil is a Loser"). Comparatively, their second CD "The Monsterican Dream" was slower in tempo, despite the heavy and beastly sound of their single "Blood Red Sandman." The Arockalypse got in touch with their Hair Metal origins, becoming a fan favorite album rather quickly. The next album "Deadache" (2008) was heavy and bassy with the single "Bite it Like a Bulldog." "Babez for Breakfast" (2010) was a heavy return to 80s influence.

Now, you may have noticed that there has been a pattern: all the CDs (until the most recent "To Beast or Not To Beast") have been released every two years. Another Lordi "tradition" was for the members to change their costumes prior to the release of their CDs, typically reflecting the attitude.

The promotional band image for their new outfits and new members Mana and Hella for the new CD.

Their newest CD, "To Beast or Not To Beast."

Now I'm sure you may have noticed their newest CD is twist on the classic line from Hamlet "To Be or not to-"... You know the line. However, why start everything here with a twisted version of Romeo and Juliet's balcony scene? Because, amusingly, Hamlet is not the sole Shakespeare reference in this Hard Rock/Theatrical Metal album. The fourth song is a line lifted right from Macbeth.

Review:

Pt. 1: Artwork

I'm no stranger to the gorgeous artwork tat adorns the albums. Mister Lordi, aside from being lead singer, song writer, and a mind behind their movie (Dark Floors; 2007), he is also a painter. Galleries have featured his artwork previously, but he has also painted all the album covers. This is the second album in which Lordi has not pictured the full band on their cover, aside from the side albums and singles. Their fifth studio album "Babez For Breakfast" was the first album in which the full band did not appear on the album. It is difficult to describe the album cover, so here it is.

Babez For Breakfast (2010)

Pretty creepy, eh? Well, ironically, I find this album to be more comical than the others with songs like "This is Heavy Metal," "Rock Police," "ZombieRawkMachine," and "Granny's Gone Crazy." I do enjoy the cover of the new album, it has a bunch of clashing time periods that they are referencing. Our cover girl is definitely a spin on the common Pin-Up girl, typically seen in the mid 1990s culture. While the album name itself is derived from Shakespeare, obviously far preceding the twentieth century, by over 300 years in fact. And, once you open the case and remove the CD, you are looking at a mutation of Leonardo Da Vinci's "Vetruvian Man." Overall, the references of the past are rather scattered, but it works well well for The album's already scattered themes.

Now within the Album book, the artwork is less extravagant to its predecessor. In "Babez For Breakfast,"the album was filled with colorful and rather grotesque images that, frankly, were appropriately cheesy. They also, as most of their studio albums had the lyrics on display. While "To Beast or Not To Beast" still possesses the traditional page for each band member displaying their personas alongside of the lyrics, the artwork is limited to haunting skeletons floating across the pages with almost an eerie impermanence. Overall, while the album book is attractive, it pales in comparison, but given the recent tragedy of Otus's death, it's more than understandable.

I would rate the art of this album as a nice even 7.5/10.

Pt. 2: Music

The first thing that struck me about the music of this album was the absence of the introduction piece, a tradition of Lordi's studio albums. The first album "Get Heavy" (not including "Bend Over and Pray to the Lord" as it was not of the lineup of Lordi albums, having just been unearthed from the Scarchives) began with the haunting instrumental "Scarctic Circle Gathering" to set the mood of the album. "The Monsterican Dream" began with a movie trailer, introducing the sequel to the Scarctic Circle Gathering. The tradition continued until this album, which throws you right into the action with the wild and heavy track "We're Not Bad For The Kids (We're Worse)". The song begins with barely a second of indiscernible (or at least for me) speaking, which makes the listener try to listen closer, right as all the instruments and Mr. Lordi's scream erupts.

Mister Lordi, in a still from "Hard Rock Hallelujah's" music video

Lordi's sound has certainly grown more aggressive thanks to the late Otus's influence. However, they are still true to the Lordi sound and style as it has always remained flexible.

I may not be a music genius like my little brother, but I am more than familiar with Lordi's work. When compared to their previous albums, as I have stated previously, this is heavy. But it also possesses the band's ironic and amusing lyrics. A few noteworthy lines from the past follows:

Go berserk Miss Piggy Style

Kermit's Legs are gonna fry!

"Girls Go Chopping"

Deadache, 2008

Spasmodic '84

Electric Dinosaur

Desperado Vampire

"Get Heavy"

Get Heavy, 2002

'Cause the Devil is a loser and he's my bitch

For better or for worse and you don't care which

'Cause the Devil is a loser and he's my bitch

Runnin' into trouble you skitch, he's my bitch

"Devil Is A Loser"

Get Heavy, 2002

Young lives by my side,

Keep me awake and sleep at night,

It's all porn on TV,

The whole world's gotten too obscene,

Little girls dressing up like whores,

Mothers too fat to fit out the door,

Grown men dressing up like girls,

This is not my world!

"Granny's Gone Crazy"

Babez For Breakfast, 2010

You get the idea. Well, these songs have their own fair share of the ironic style Lordi fans have loved and find humor in. In fact, the track "Horrifiction," a song about a broken barrier between horror movies and reality, starts out singing praise to Freddy Krueger (one of my favorite horror villains) within the first two lines.

You love that man, with his fingers of knives

The red and green sweater is framed

You bought a chainsaw and you carved it up right

"The saw is the family" it says on the blade

"Horrifiction"

To Beast Or Not To Beast, 2013

These ironic and comedic lines do not start nor stop here. I point into the direction of a couple other tracks, mainly "Candy for the Cannibal" and "Sincerely with Love," which begins with "Fuck you, asshole. Fuck you asshole, Sincerely with Love!"

There is even a song all based off the Shakespeare line "Something Wicked This Way Comes." It is the fourth track in the album and is a soft song (comparatively). While there are other songs of this title. this is not a cover. The song is just foreboding of an unstated and coming horror.

I could go on more about each song, but there are only two that I feel completely necessary to discuss" The Riff and SCG6.

The Riff

"The Riff" is the single from this album. It is also the subject of their music video.

While this music video is, like "This Is Heavy Metal," much different than their previous video themes. Ever since their second music video "Devil is a Loser"(2003), the music videos have consisted of an established individual or group enjoying themselves when Lordi begins to play, shit begins to go down, Lordi appears, and it eventually ends with the established party murdered.

Below are a few examples:

"Devil is A Loser" 2003

"Blood Red Sandman" (2004 (?))

"Hard Rock Hallelujah" (2006)

As can be seen above, Lordi has had little focus on sexual appeal before the new video. That and they are bringing their humor out of just the lyrics. I would prefer if their interest remained more in the horror and more thought was put into the video. The main segment of the video was too reminiscent of ZombieLand.

The song itself is dripping with what Lordi fans love: the comic lyrics and the Lordi sound we all adore. The whole song tells the story of Mister Lordi being picked up in Death's van to give input on the Grim Reaper's attempt at a song. Featuring a heavy instrumental track and a great guitar solo by Amen, Lordi fans can still rock out to this great single.

But the other song that I really must discuss is SCG6

SCG6

As I have mentioned earlier, SCG is a recurring acronym in Lordi albums, standing for their trademark tracks "Scarctic Circle Gathering."

Scarctic Circle Gathering from Get Heavy

Theatrical Trailer from The Monsterican Dream

SCG3 Special Report from The Arockalypse

SCG IV from Deadache

SCG5: It's A Boy! from Babez for Breakfast

All these Scarctic Circle Gatherings were the aforementioned opening tracks for each album. They all set up the mood of the album quite well. However, To Beast or Not To Beast's SCG(VI) is an album closer and a tribute.

The full name of the track is "SCG6: Otus' Butcher Clinic" and consists of two parts: a brutal and industrial introduction which was used as a backing track while Otus performed in the summer of 2011, when he went off on a heavy drum solo and an actual live recording of his performance in Paris, France in the same year. These two halves of the track is separated by Otus himself growling "No! Let's Kick Some Ass!"

Despite the fact that Otus never recorded anything but both halves of this track, his influence for such a short time is apparent in this new album. This track is a fantastic tribute to the monster and the man underneath.

Pt 3: Overview

This review has gone on long enough and I won't make it even longer by repeating previous points. I will just say this: After the introduction of Otus and then his passing, this album reflects his influence and the sorrow in his passing. This is also a fantastic introduction to the new players, who, for the first time in Lordi history, both appear and play on their premiere album.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

So Friday night (3/15/2013) was the Repo! The Genetic Opera / The Devil's Carnival double bill in Foxboro, Massachusetts. This is my third time meeting the guys having already been to both the original Devil's Carnival tour as well as the encore tour. However, this was my first time seeing Repo! The Genetic Opera with them in a theater. I was late on that bandwagon. But because I love both films so much... I decided to go above and beyond the call of the "wild" fangirls and fanboys and do a costume for one of the more popular characters: Pavi Largo. If you need a reminder of this character, find my post titled "Facing Adversity" in the sidebar.

Having arrived at the Orpheum theater and mask freshly applied

The event was amazing, and I picked up a good amount of merchandise (all the Hail vs Testify posters, signed Ringmaster Poster, an extra Hail/Testify poster for the maker of my pants for the costume, and a Testify beanie for the maker of my sparkly scarf). I wanted to get my Ringmaster TDC Bluray signed, but, unfortunately, there was no official signing session, but I got some awesome pictures with the guys!

I said that we should take a picture of us all looking in the mirror, and suddenly I have a Terrance and Saar head near me <3

As "normal" an image that could be achieved here

So the event began with our premature entrance into the theater thanks to our Ringmaster tickets. We got first pick at the Merch table and then got to take pictures with the guys, which are posted above. I spoke with them briefly before moving on and taking my seat, but I was thanked several times by Terrance for making myself present to this show as well as the others. I also got to surprise those in front of me in line with my impression of Pavi. "My Brother and Sister should Fuck!"

So we got a treat with an informal and personal Q&A, where we were told of a very interesting altercation between Darren and Paul Sorvino. But it wasn't long before it was over and the rest of the attendees were allowed entrance. We were allowed a special view of Emilie Autumn's new video that Darren directed for Fight Like A Girl, a song which I just purchased as I write this. As not a big fan of Autumn, it was pretty awesome to see this.

Then we watched TDC and were influenced to sing along and shout at the movie itself. Afterward, we got another Q&A and got a sneak peek/taste of a new song from TDC2, as performed by Saar and Terrance. And then Repo! The Genetic Opera started playing after a ten minute intermission. This was really amazing as members of the RKO shadowcast began to perform for us.

Overall, it was one, fucking incredible night. But a lot of people were impressed with my costume, and curious about the processes I took to make it. So I'll share.

Creating the Face

First, my plan was to use Alginate, which is a material makeup artists and dentists have been using to make molds of body parts such as faces, teeth, limbs, or even the full head. It is a time-sensitive powder that, once it is mixed with water, your time to get everything applied and set is extremely limited; five minutes, to be precise.

Inside the Kit there are 2 bags of Alginate powder; a black "poncho"; a mixing tub; a popsicle stick and tongue depressors; plentiful plaster bandages; two bags of Liquistone Gypsom cement powder; small amounts of clay, Cholesterol Hair Conditioner, and more LiquiStone in order to fill any holes; and finally I shelled out an extra fifteen bucks for the instructional DVD to teach the process. I would strongly recommend this DVD, because even with it, I needed the backup bag of alginate.

All the materials strewn across the table on "game day."

So. I had all my materials. But I needed a face. And it is rather difficult to ask to borrow a face. Even a friend I rely on often for random projects was uncomfortable with having their face casted for 20 minutes to a half an hour. And what made it even more difficult was my desire to remain accurate to the character and use a woman's face. But I did eventually find someone, who I had previously met, coincidentally, through The Devil's Carnival.

RL seated about fifteen minutes into the process

The cast of her face

The Cholesterol Hair Conditioner goes into the eyebrows and eyelashes to prevent the cast from hardening around them. HOWEVER, this is merely a precautionary measure. Alginate's grip is not too tight on the individual.

If you order this casting kit, again, GET THE DVD. I'm not going to explain everything for you. But what I will explain is that DO NOT WAIT TO USE THE ALGINATE FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSES. The mold is meant to be moist. If you wait, it will grow dry and WILL crack. Unfortunately, I did not pour the liquistone immediately and had to constantly keep the air around it humid. I wrapped the cast in a wet facecloth and had to keep wetting it.

Now, there were cracks and holes in the mold because it dried and I wanted to cover the clay (which was provided for the purpose of plugging the nose). So I used some Liquid Latex (normal grade) to mend these tears and inconsistencies before I took a pour. So I made a quick patch and waited for drying which, because of the architecture of the mask, the nose took until the next day to dry.

But the next evening was tough for a few reasons: I was constantly aware of the fast-approaching deadline and the smell. I had ordered a large container of RD-407 Mask Making grade liquid latex. If you have ever worked with liquid latex, you are familiar with the putrid scent that it carries. Well, rest assured, the Mask Grade stuff is even worse. Not only is there the bad fish smell that you've come to love, but there is also a pungent and brutal odor of a mix of furniture polish and polyurethane.

So I poured in this nasty smell into the alginate cast CAREFULLY. I made sure it filled the cast and used my finger to burst any air bubbles that may have formed between latex and alginate so there are no holes in the mask. I let this pool of liquid latex sit for half an hour and made sure there was latex buildup on all surfaces. Believe me, the stench was absolutely ludicrous. It's like Hoth here and I had my door and windows wide open to get the smell out of the room. If I had any sense of temperature, i would have been bundled up for snow. After that half an hour was complete, the latex is poured back into the container, which leaves a film or "skin" where the latex pool was in contact with the Alginate.

The latex "skin" after drying for a day

After a few hours of drying and spot-doctoring, it was ready to remove. however, this mold also took with it the normal liquid latex I used to fix the alginate cast as well as the clay plugs for the nostrils. So The nose was in really poor shape. Before putting against my face to map the features and test the size, I decided to use more of the mask latex to return the normal shape to the nose. I also had to paint it with the pale-skin tone liquid latex paint I purchased with the mask latex.

The mask after some nose-jobbing

However, there was a problem...

My greatest face was too small.

So the face was vastly too small to pass off effectively. After assessing the possibility of extending the edges, I decided that I would not be able to make the mask work as the features didn't line up correctly. So, with two days before the show, I was worried about the quickly approaching deadline. I had two options: attempt to recreate the LOOK of a female mask with the limited amount of makeup supplies I possess, OR I duplicate what I did with the alginate cast, but with a different mold.

I chose the second option.

A plastic mask I picked up from iParty for 5 bucks

After a speedy run to a nearby iParty, I brought back the above pictured mask. There was another goofier one that could also have worked for Pavi but it was both far too cartoony AND the features were too exaggerated which would have been even more difficult. So I bought this one and used duct tape and saran wrap to cover the holes. Unfortunately, I was too impatient and hasty to make sure all the holes were plugged properly. Not only did I BARELY have enough mask Latex to fill this mold, but the mask was both leaking and not very rigid, so when the 20 minutes (I had lowered the time) had finished, the mask warped under the weight of the liquid latex and spilled a good portion of it. After I cleaned up, I was ready to get some sleep. This was Wednesday night. This was a frustrating day, so I decided to sleep before I started to throw things.

The next day, I woke up and the skin had dried, but the amount of latex was far too thin, to the point of being transparent. So Thursday I spent the full day layering more and more liquid latex to create a thicker skin. Because of the architecture of the mask, the really exaggerated features were causing difficulty to dry. By Friday morning, the nose and cheeks and forehead still weren't dry, so I used a hairdryer to do try and dry the remaining wet spots. While that didn't get everything perfect, it was still good enough for me to remove the mask from its plastic mold and dry the other areas. The tip of the nose, brows and chip were all still rather damp so they deformed during the removal.

Then on to painting. I decided against actually painting it skin tone as this is supposed to be a face that has been removed and has lost bloodflow and the natural color of the RD-407 was rather effective at that color. Instead, I was painting the eyebrows and lipstick look. I could have taken the time to get real paint, but i used some of my makeup, which was difficult because if I accidentally got any on my fingers, it got all over the mask.

With t-minus 2 hours until I had to start my trek, the mask was finished.

Thankfully, this costume all came together perfectly thanks to a few sales and the wonderful two friends that made two pieces of the costume (scarf and pleather pants).

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Indecision to Confess
So it's been a little while since I've leapt on here, mainly because I have been majorly preoccupied with putting together my costume pieces for the Repo/TDC tour stop on the 15th. My mirror has come in, the costume shoes are on their way as well as the Alginate kit in order to mold someone's face and make Pavi's face effect. I have also commissioned two friends with tasks: one will be taking a pair of my skinny jeans and using them as a template to make a pair of skinny pleather pants, while another is making a sparkly scarf that he wears in the Mark It Up scene. Unfortunately, I have not heard from the Monster Makers site about my order of 32 ounces of Mask Latex and 8 ounces of Pale skin paint.

For those poor unfortunate souls who are unfamiliar with Repo! The Genetic Opera!

I have also been occupied with my birthday and the random events of graduate life: job finding and clinging to the friends made in college I'm not willing to release.

However, despite this seemingly busy amount of action, this has been a rather uneventful week. I've been hit with post-graduation depression. I feel like I'm in a rut and stuck in a box applying for jobs I'll probably never hear back from.

Oh, and I found a beard and adopted him. I have no idea where he came from but he needed a home. His name is Edgar as decided at last night's Improv Show at my old college. I met a few new people there including a gentleman with turquoise hair and another person interested in the roleplaying game, which probably means I'll start holding sessions at the old college campus. Lordi knows where.

Maybe he'll tell me when he finishes shopping

However, the main dispute on my mind is that of a woman. More accurately, my primary debate is whether to tell her my feelings or not. Thank you, lack of confidence and overacting imagination. But y'all don't care about that.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

A Continuing Fear
After posting that previous entry on fear last night, I decided that I really wasn't done. I hadn't finished speaking and elaborating on fear. I spoke about what I am afraid of and how I can feed off my own fear when it comes to creating a world in writing. And I know the irrationality of many of my fears and how foolish it is to truly fear anything that isn't happening at this very moment. I even shared an image previously in my first post depicting that "Worry is a misuse of imagination."

That's the one

People are inclined to worry, inclined to fear. A surgeon will still worry about a procedure that he has performed a hundred times before. A student will still worry about a grade when all they've seen are good marks. A good driver will still become nervous when a police cruiser drives behind them.

Though if the cruiser is flying this badge, Fear is the appropriate response

So why do we oft feel fear and worry even when it comes to a situation where we are usually proficient and practiced? Why do we fear the irrational? Well, it's actually pretty simple, pretty much down to our genetics.

Wait, what?

Now, I don't mean that if your parents were Evel Knievels that you'll be all set to drive across the Grand Canyon. What I mean is that we weren't always so comfortable. Man was not always civilized and intelligent, nor are we all intelligent currently. Our ancestors dwelled in caves. They did not "poke" their friends and painted on the walls of their caves not just on each others' birthdays. When it was cold outside, they put on fur and a fire. But, most importantly, they lacked in doors, and caves, I shouldn't have to tell you, are potential safe havens for not just humans.

Sup?

The early man was a creature of multiple predators. Fear came naturally and was a constant feeling to keep him on his toes. Not feeling fear left his defenses low and left him open to the slaughter by all manner of creatures: lions, tigers, and bears, and maybe even another tribe. It was a time where the creaking of a tree behind could either mean a settling from the wind or a telltale sign of a approaching threat, and it was instinct to opt towards the latter.

Mint?

So what does that mean for us? We aren't exactly facing that same threat every time we walk to work for example. We don't carry spears with us in our briefcases as we head to our cubicles anticipating attack.

Despite the fact that those same threats do not exist for us anymore, we still become overwhelmed with fear. We fear irrational things like the darkness, or more accurately, what exactly could lie within. Despite the years of evolving and losing and gaining traits to make life more bearable, Fear and concern has been far too resilient and, frankly, rather beneficial for us over the millennia. Unlike Wisdom Teeth, fear still has a use with us.

We all are living fairly comfortable lives, comparatively. But the remaining instinct of defense and fear is still there. It's a reflex and a natural response to one thing: uncertainty. We do not know if there is a creature in the shadows. We do not know if there is a murderer in the woods. We do not know if the cop is going to pull us over. We don't know. We'll never know. And that lack of knowledge opens the mind up to the response that our instincts have always led our ancestors to: Fear. Uncertainty is a path that leads to fear and we can not prevent uncertainty. The only thing we can do is cope and challenge that fear.

Fear will always be with us, because it will always keep us alive, whether it is telling us to stay on our toes, or we're proving that our fears do not control us.

Monday, February 18, 2013

FEAR: For Every Average ReveryFear: The Tool
Tonight, I was driving home from dropping off a friend. This evening has been a third installment of a roleplaying game that I've been holding with my friends Chucky and Steph (or Staph as my phone keeps insisting to call her). It's called Don't Rest Your Head and, if you can imagine it, is as if Sin CIty was built in Wonderland. Players portray normal people who suffer from an abnormal form of insomnia and end up going without sleep for months, leaving them capable of entering a horrifying city, destroyed and inhabited by monsters called Nightmares.

All in all, it's a fun game.

Now I am the one running the game, and while I have been rather proud of the past few sessions, this evening was fairly rough, but it is building up to a greater intense situation next game.

Fear: The Reality
Now, while driving home, I had the time to think, as my music was low and the GPS was guiding my way through unfamiliar territory. Let me set the scene: driving a truck in the dark night through heavily wooded areas with snow from previous storms spilling from their plowed position into the road. Welcome to the setup of a classic New England horror film. The drive gave me time to realize something.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of several things.

I'm afraid of disappointing my friends and family and peers. I am afraid of my ideas being passed upon. I am afraid of not being recognized for something I have done and have pride in. I am afraid of finally admitting to the girl I have pined over for so long that these feelings exist.

I guess, overall, I fear failure.

Fear: The Irrational
While driving, several things were coming across my view, from glittering reflections in the snow, the shadows shifting with the onset of my headlights in the trees.

The greatest fear I possess besides the fear of failure is that of my own imagination. As I drove and viewed several unexpected instances of illusion. And my imaginations began to twist the world around me into a nightmarish creation. In a flash, I could see a creature, human only in appearance, falling to the hood of the truck and screeching like a banshee, and another moment, it would be gone, only to be replaced by the sound of incoherent muttering by a nonexistent spirit in my back seat.

Now, I may be an idiot, but I'm not so much an idiot to truly believe that the movement of shadows I see out of the corners of my eyes are anything but just that, but I am also aware of the nagging absurdity of the question "What if...?" which floats in the air whenever you try to assure yourself of the contrary.

As a writer, I clutch to that "What If" question. I opt for a, most likely, unhealthy immersion into this fearful delusion.

What if a creature really did fall upon my hood and it screeched at me?
What if I wasn't really alone in the truck, and an incoherent muttering filled the cab?
What if the shadows in the woods were truly a swarm following my path?

What if the Mad City from Don't Rest My Head proved true?

These fears are absolutely irrational, I know. But as a creative mind, if I can scare myself, then I should be able to scare others?

Fear: Partially Closed
Now, I am completely aware of reality and have a full grasp on it, and the fears that I focus on are those that are more firmly planted in everyday life. Mainly those mentioned about failure and loss. But when I want to write something to make others frightened and uncomfortable, I leave my rationality behind and decide to throw myself into these alternate versions of reality.

A Mind More Twisted than Auntie Anne's Delicious Pretzels
No, here I am not talking about my own mind. Mine's just twisted like an "S". I am also not talking about the otherwise wonderful mashup artist that unleashed this combination of dance crazes upon us.

Watch if you are not afraid of losing sanity

No, I am talking about an individual much more disturbed. So twisted and disturbed is this man that he must be restrained to a film.

Pavi Largo
Okay, I know a large amount of you all may not know the name, but I implore you, before you leap to Google, Bing, or whatever search engine you use, allow me to explain this person.

The greek tale of Narcissus, the handsome young man that was so infatuated by his own appearance that he remained at the bed of a stream, staring into his reflection for so long that he turned into a plant? Yeah. Think of that. Pavi is obsessed with his own appeal. He's a ladies man and, even at the opera, is surgically attached to a handheld mirror. To boast and exaggerate his physique, he wears tight black clothing, including leather pants. In fact, it's most likely that he wears mainly women's clothes. And he doesn't stop there with feminine fashion.

He wears women's faces.

Yes, that's right. Women's faces. Pictured above in one of the final scenes of the film, Pavi is wearing his final face, which is permanently and, in an absolutely haunting way, contorted in a smile, even when saddened.

D:

But why do I devote time to talking about this twisted excuse for a man? Because he's Pavi fucking Largo. But also because I have an hour before friends show up to play a horror-based RPG. But also because the movie that he's from is going on tour yet again.

Repo! The Genetic Opera, it's creators, and their new project are all going on tour once again to meet the fans that have turned the film into an underground sensation. Their tour bringing around their newest film The Devil's Carnival brought Zydrate Addicts and Sinners forward in extravagant and gothic costumes.

Costumes.

Yeeeessss....

Pavi Largo offers such a great opportunity for me as both a makeup artist of special effects as well as the fact that I've always kind of enjoyed the gothic fashion. Not to mention Halloween is my favorite holiday of all time. Costumes that inspire horror and questions about the process are what gives me enjoyment.

My self-attempt at the classic Two-Face from Batman

I will be attempting to make a mold of a woman's face and making a thin duplicate to apply to mine own. The difficult parts will definitely be finding the right costume pieces and maybe a wig. I've unfortunately cut my hair too short to pull off Pavi naturally. I am not too afraid of the mold and the creation of the face. My main concern about that process is finding someone willing to let me mold their face with plaster (or alginate if I can afford it) for twenty minutes or so while it hardens.