And when I hear songs, they sound like a swan

I had to go watch Original Song to wash all the bad feelings away before I could deal with thinking about this episode again. And of course I made my mother watch it with me, because I showed her that fan trailer yesterday and I am officially THE WORST at teaching people disclined to like slash how to love Kurt/Blaine, but that's neither here nor there (honestly, self, you have to build people up to the physical affection by making them fall in love with Blaine first, showing off his heart eyes second, and leaving non-singing mouth action to five hundred and ninety-seventh).

Anyway, there are thematically appropriate lyrics from 4x09 too, but using OS just feels right.

Glee, 4x09, Swan SongThat was almost more upsetting than The Breakup.

I expected them to lose at Regionals this year, but Sectionals is way too early to spend the rest of the year outside a competition arc, unless you plan to spend a lot more episodes 100% in New York. No matter what pep talks they gave, the idea of the competition run just being OVER, out of nowhere, makes me heartsick and sad and a little bit choked up. "What about those of us who don't have a next year?", indeed. (well, Sam, then you'll be in the same boat as those who graduated last year, won't you?)

It's not even just that they lost, it's the horrible way Sue immediately set about tearing down and destroying everything; destruction hurts, it ALWAYS hurts; I don't understand why they have to kick us when we're down. BRB, banishing the harpy back to level 1 on that ranking chart.

I'm not quite to the point of hating Marley, but only because it's still easier to look at her poor teary face and want to gather her in a hug. I loved her solo scenes with Finn -- she's one of the few in the group who actually sees him as someone significantly older, and I thought he had his first really wonderful chance to shine as a mentor and even teacher when he refused to put any blame on her. Wanted to strangle Blaine when he was so close to being the only person to stick with her on that stage, and then he trailed away too. [edit: does NO ONE remember that April Rhodes bought the auditorium so this could never happen? No one?]

Speaking of Blaine, he can go right back into his I'm Sorry doghouse and send me flowers for willingly succumbing to the sheer evil that is Sue Sylvester, no matter how cool her circus props look. Diva Tina's always wanted to go there, but Blaine has NO excuses, especialy given that he is already in 900 clubs and Cheerios practice alone takes up as much time as all of them combined. No, I cannot even appreciate the sight of him in uniform, because he looks sad and wrong and YOU DON'T BELONG HERE, BLAINE. Traitor.

I did very much enjoy Joe's extracurricular activity. Interfaith Paintball rules!

Also, I'm super proud of the band for showing up to the freezing courtyard practice. Nobody [in the club] ever cares about how dedicated those kids are, but I'm pretty sure the glee club is their reason to live.

[sidebar: crap, I forgot to talk about the opening scene. Um, I loved Blaine rushing over with juice boxes at the ready, and everyone's (MR. SCHUE'S) concern as they rushed to Marley's aid, in those few blissful seconds before everyone turned on her. Oooh, and also, Santana harshly but accurately calling Kitty out as a crazy, evil bitch.]

Good Stuff at McKinleyThe one truly good thing in this episode? Bram. Fandom has been throwing a shit fit (sorry) about it for weeks, but for someone who loathes Brittana and lives for Sam being sweet to girls to he likes, it was perfect. I actually found the "lesbian blogger" meta amusing, just for how petty and sulky it made the writers sound, and "love is love" was such a blatant "F U" I started cackling, but all that really matters is the unfettered sweetness.

Sam continues to exemplify Perfect Courtship Tactics, earnestly eager even with no real idea what he's doing, Brittany has the sweetest and most innocent responses to everything, and by the time they actually got to complete their first kiss, I was cooing with clasped hands. It was exceptionally cute on every level and can't wait for more of this puppy love. How you can hate it after "You're the only person that makes me smile?" That was a rhetorical question.

I don't know why everybody thinks the Fabrevans shippers will be enraged. I am all on board for the 2.0 version since the first one is such a long lost cause.

Footnote: Oh, and the other best thing was...BRAD THE LONG-SUFFERING PIANO PLAYER GOT TO SPEAK. Crying for joy. So much pent-up bitterness!

New York State Of MindI developed ulcers from the stress of the Winter Showcase. You think I am joking, but it's close to the truth. Suffice to say that the dance/sing-off was hard to watch but worth it once I heard what Rachel had to say, I wish I could just love Carmen Tibideaux instead of wanting to hide my non-existent tail between my legs every time she appears, I was sick to my stomach before Rachel went on, was sick in a whole new way after that disgusting kiss with Brody (followed by handholding? Gag me with a spoon), and then had about eight heart attacks alongside Kurt, watching him panic and pace (but AWWW for the I Wanna Hold Your Hand callback and other friendship things I can stand this week). I'd also like to know how you reconcile what Carmen says about him being "all surface" with her comments in "Choke," or how Rachel stalking her and badgering her for another audition constitutes getting a second chance "on Carmen's terms," but maybe that's just me.

I'm very proud of Rachel for winning her showcase, but I don't know how I feel about Kurt getting into NYADA. That's a lie, I'm mad. Not because he doesn't deserve it, but because he now has this wonderful world of Vogue and MOTHER, but I don't want him to leave it. Not at all. After seeing what a witch Cassie is, I don't want Kurt to be thrown right back into a world where he'll be shouted down and torn apart in the name of improvement all over again. I've been feeling so grateful he escaped it, the rejection a blessing in disguise. I don't even, really, honestly, want him to go to school at all if he's on such a fast career track as it is. The way they keep jerking the rug out from under me every time I'm satisfied with the current state of his life is worse than the way they keep screwing up Finn's plans.

I did like all the casual of mentions of how Kurt and Blaine apparently just talk all the time now that they're speaking again. I guess they have a lot of catching up to do, but why do I feel like Blaine has to cut himself off after 5 calls or X number of hours a day? ;)

And Then There Was MusicSomething Stupid: Cute, I guess, but this will forever be strictly a Sideshow Bob/Selma Bouvier duet to me, with a solo reprise: "And then I went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like explode you..."

-All That Jazz: I want to love their voices in duet, but SO BORING. I can't stand this song, and the reason why is right there in the title.

-Good Isn't Good Enough: And I want to love these lyrics, but again, SO BORING. (but at least that white dress was stunning)

+ O Holy Night: Somehow even more than the first song, Rachel looked gorgeous, like my brain can't even comprehend the amount of angelic beauty I am seeing. I don't love this carol on its own merit, too slow and high, but she is the most beautiful voice ever to cover it. And one of those voices is Josh Groban, so.

Being Alive: Broadway-bland here too, but also the best thing he has sung in his limited choices this year, so I'm hoping it becomes an earworm because I want to care about these lyrics. Also, aww, tears!

+ Don't Dream It's Over: Lovely group number. It's going to break my heart so hard as soon as I let it in, possible double-plus upgrade in the future.

Conclusion: Depressing every second that Bram wasn't taking center stage, low on the totem pole this season, and def. worse than last week despite vaguely better music overall. P.S. WHY NO QUINN, SHOW.

Up Next: It's divided into one act per storyline, and previously I gave all my bothers solely to the one featuring Kurt in New York, but the sight of Alternate Life Kurt getting slammed into lockers and also TERRI!!! just made Artie's storyline relevant, and now that I'm on board Sam/Brittany, only the Puckerman act sounds skippable.-------P.S. For anyone who has quit Glee but used to watch it, you should know that BRAD THE LONG-SUFFERING PIANO PLAYER GOT TO SPEAK.