Category Archives: Blog Carnival

Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: What is natural parenting?

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our Carnival coincides with the launch of Natural Parents Network, a community of parents and parents-to-be who practice or are interested in attachment parenting and natural family living. Join us at Natural Parents Network to be informed, empowered, and inspired!

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Kind

Pronunciation:, kīnd/

adjective

having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature:

A fellow mother once said to me, in reference to her own baby, “I just want him to grow up to be kind.” Much to her surprise I responded by telling her she couldn’t just stop at kindness.

I understand her sentiment because I used to feel the same way. Most of us truly want our children to grow up to be good, decent people. It’s why we like our children’s stories to be morality tales disguised as entertainment. It’s why we want our kids to share their toys with others. It’s why we ask them to say “please” and “thank you.”

And yes, I do want Baby E to grow up to be kind. What I have come to realize is that I can’t really teach my son kindness if I don’t also examine the unearned privileges we get just because we were born on a certain level of societal hierarchy.

Will my son really be a kind person if he gives to charity regularly but freely uses classist, ableist, sexist, etc. language?

Will my son really be a kind person if he’s only kind to those who are most visible in society?

Will my son really be a kind person if his well-intended kind act causes harm to another person who is marginalized in ways that he is not?

Will my son really be a kind person if he says he loves all people but fails to see how his privileges reinforce prejudice?

I don’t expect Baby E to be a perfect child nor a perfect adult because he is only human. I’m certainly not perfect in this and I am learning, un-learning, and re-learning everyday.

So how can I teach my son to be kind and then some?

I know that it involves teaching and modeling empathy. This means that when he’s upset, I stop to think about his feelings from his perspective, and address them from that perspective instead of only from my viewpoint.

It also involves teaching and modeling respect. So when he doesn’t want to be tickled, or kissed, or picked up, then I respect that. It means things like teaching him a safe word when he’s older, to be used during tickle sessions so that we can be sure there are no misunderstandings when we want to stop.

It means watching my language and pointing out problematic language that serves to marginalize others.

It means talking about social issues at home, regularly.

It means reading him books that feature marginalized persons as fully realized human beings not stereotypes.

It means not excluding persons who are marginalized in various ways from our lives.

So yes, I want my son to be of a “friendly, generous, and considerate nature” but it won’t mean much if that’s where his “kindness” ends.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants. Three of the participants below will instead be featured on Natural Parents Network throughout the month, so check back at NPN!

This list will be updated by afternoon November 9 with all the carnival links. We’ve arranged it this month according to the categories of our NPN resource pages on “What Is Natural Parenting?”

Attachment/Responsive Parenting

Attachment/responsive parenting is generally considered to include the following (descriptions/lists are not exhaustive; please follow each link to learn more):

“Preparing for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting” — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes knows better now how to prepare for her second baby, focusing on attachment rather than nursery curtains. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 23. (@sheryljesin)

“Going With the {Tandem Milk} Flow” — Despite being told she would never be able to nurse her toddler through pregnancy, Jessika at Job Description: Mommy successfully nursed through her entire pregnancy, and she continues tandem nursing her two little ones fifteen months later! (@JobDescMommy)

“Sometimes I Wish We Coslept” — Sheila at A Gift Universe has started to add cosleeping into her sleep routines and has found frequently unspoken benefits. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 30. (@agiftuniverse)

“Is He Already Behind?“Ever worry that your baby or toddler is behind the curve? Danielle at born.in.japan will reassure you about the many ways your little one is learning — naturally — every day. Watch for her post, which will be featured on Natural Parents Network on Tuesday, November 16. (@borninjp)

“A Private Matter” — Amy at Anktangle, who is a Registered Nurse, describes her encounters with circumcision in a medical environment and why they guided her decision to leave her own baby boy intact. (@anktangle)

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Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let’s Talk About Food

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I cannot think of my culture without thinking of food. Food is a necessary part of my memories of home and what it means to be a Bajan.

Whenever my mother comes to visit she brings a suitcase full of goodies that include tamarind balls, sugar cakes, Shirley biscuits, Ju-C, mauby, and Eclipse biscuits. I relish these goodies like the rare treasures they are. C politely declines to eat most of them because his palate is decidedly content with its Midwestern tastes.

Yet, despite food being such a big part of my Bajan identity, I don’t usually cook Bajan food at home. When I moved to the US as a teenager, my daily meals became more American and once I left for college I was thoroughly immersed in American culture.

Now I cook things like turkey chilli, turkey meatloaf, spaghetti and ground turkey with spaghetti sauce, and stirfry. However, my dishes hint at my Caribbean upbringing because I’m certainly not afraid to use spices (Sidenote: Beware of restaurants that use mangoes and pineapples in a dish and call it “Caribbean.” Real Caribbean food is savory and spicy more so than fruity and sweet). Plus, I can’t seem to bake chicken without putting ketchup on it.

I wonder about what this will mean to Baby E as he grows up. I want his home to be reflective of his various heritages but I know my culture will be in the minority. He may not have memories of my grandmother in her kitchen stirring cornmeal with a cou-cou stick but I’ll make sure he knows what cou-cou is. When he asks for sweet tea on a hot summer’s day, I’ll make sure he knows mauby is an option. And when I take him home to Barbados for visits he’ll learn that “sea grapes” aren’t really grapes, “golden apples” aren’t really apples, “fat porks” don’t come from pigs, and you can’t really hurt anyone with a “lead pipe.”

A Locavore’s Family Meal — Acacia at Be Present Mama tells a story in pictures of her family taking a trip to the local organic farmers market and then preparing a summer meal together with their bounty.

Why I Love The Real Food Community — Much like many people who follow AP/NP values, Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! takes the parts of the “real food” philosophy that work for her family and leaves the rest. (@bfmom)

This Mom’s Food Journey — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment made a journey from not paying attention to food to growing her own.

Who Knew Eating Was So Hard? — The challenges involved in changing to healthier eating habits take on a whole new dimension when you have a child who has difficulties eating. kadiera at Our Little Acorn shares her own experiences. (@kadiera)

Loving Food — Starr at Earth Mama truly believes food is her family’s medicine and is willing to spend days preparing it the traditional way.

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I’ve decided to follow in the footsteps of other respectable bloggers and share with you some links that I found enjoyable and/or interesting. Today we take a look at what some other blogging mothers have been talking about lately.