Calling all Brooklyn junk-ies: The TV show ‘Hoarders’ wants you

Is this a room in your house? Call 555-HELP. Don’t actually, that’s not a number. via IG @ oliviyayo

There’s the obsessively neat roommate, and there’s the hopelessly messy roommate. We know these types well. But then, there are the extremes. At one end, we see the introvert disciples of the #KonMari method, who can clean out their closets so hard that they literally get diarrhea. At the other end of the spectrum is the TV show Hoarders. Also Hoarders: Buried Alive. These are the larger-than-life packrats who can’t part with a single item in their homes.

And today, Hoarders touches down in Brooklyn to ask: are you one of them?

Maybe you’ve always joked about deserving a role on Hoarders. Maybe your friends half-jokingly agreed. And while you’re likely not as bad as that woman who had dead cats in her freezer, your clutter habit might still benefit from serious intervention. If so, read on.

“Calling all Pack Rats, Clutter Bugs and Collector Extraordinaires,” says the ad, posted on BK’s Craigslist late yesterday. “Hoarding affects millions of people every year in the US. Do you know someone impacted by a hoarder? Or are you a hoarder yourself?”

Wondering if your room-sized collection of New Yorker mags qualifies for network television?

The Wikipedia page on Compulsive hoarding describes the disorder as “pattern of behavior that is characterized by excessive acquisition” and the inability to discard any of what is acquired. So again, not necessarily freezer cats. It could be as simple as you having started with one closet of clothing and ended up with mountains of textiles from everything you keep finding on the street. Or maybe you’re looking to nominate a roommate who’s somehow turned their half of the apartment into a rock museum. Whatever the reason and whoever the candidate, Brooklyn is Hoarders’ latest target for personalities in need of assistance.

Also to note that under compensation, it just says “Assistance provided.” In other words, the show sees helping you out of a life-stunting hoarding habit as payment enough. But maybe there’s a stipend.

Anyway, if you want to submit, e-mail hoarders[at]sfpseattle.com or apply online.