"Each one of us must please his neighbor for his good, in order to
build him up." Romans 15:2

Some people are not accustomed to think of pleasing
others as a duty. We have been trained to think of what is right and just in
our relations to others, without reference to the effect our words or
conduct may have upon them. But there is no reason why we should not do the
things that are right, and at the same time seek to please those with whom
we are dealing.

Paul says, "Let each one of us please his neighbor—for
his good, unto edifying." We are to please our neighbor for his good.
We must not think of gratifying his whims, of feeding his vanity, or of
nourishing his self conceit. This would not be to "please him—for his good,
unto edifying." A great many people are hurt irreparably by insincere
flattery. They may be pleased in a sense—but it is not for their good. They
are puffed up by it, encouraged to think more highly of themselves than they
ought to think. We can do no greater unkindness to another, than to
stimulate his self conceit. Yet one of the temptations of good nature, is to
be insincere and even untruthful in commending others. But it is not this
kind of pleasing that Paul had in mind. It must be for the person's good,
his growth in character, and then it must be genuine and altogether true.

The duty of pleasing others is part of the great lesson
of love. If we love our neighbor—we will desire to give him pleasure, to
make him truly happy. We get the lesson from our Master, and in His life,
love blossomed out in all its perfection. Christ never sacrificed truth, was
never insincere—and yet His speaking to men was always marked by kindliness.
He was never brusque in His speech. He never lost His temper, nor spoke in
anger. He reproved men's sins and faults—but when He did this, His tones
were quiet and His voice was full of love.

If we love others as Christ loves them, we will seek
always to do them good. We will never speak pridefully. We will never reveal
vanity or self conceit in our fellowship with those about us. There is a way
of criticizing and reproving, which is offensive and brash. Love gives us no
right to judge and condemn. It does not authorize us to watch others or to
treat them censoriously. If we have love in our hearts—we will seek to save
others from sin, to restrain them from wrong doing—but we will do even these
services in lowliness and love, so as to win and not to lose those we
reprove. Humility will mark our every word and act. We will always be gentle
and kind, speaking in love when we must say anything unpleasant, anything
which will give pain.

Another reason we should seek to please others, is that
everyone needs encouragement and cheer. It is possible for us so to bear
ourselves in our relations to others as to make life harder for them.
On the other hand, we have the power of adding immeasurably to the strength,
the cheer, and the energy of others about us. Words of encouragement are
wondrous inspirations. An artist said that his mother's kiss made him a
painter. That is, when she saw his crude work and thought she detected in it
indications of genius, instead of laughing at what he had done, she kissed
her boy with encouragement and gave him an impulse which sent him on his way
with enthusiasm and hope.

But children are not the only people who need
encouragement, and are pleased and helped by words of appreciation. We never
get too old or too high up in our work, to be cheered and stimulated by
sincere commendation. When we read a book which helps us, no matter how
distinguished the author may be, we will please him and do him a real
kindness—if we will write him a few words of grateful recognition, telling
him how his book has helped us. When the preacher has spoke earnestly
and his words have given us cheer, or comfort, light on some dark problem,
or help in some perplexity, however great he may be, however praised among
men—a word of encouragement from the humblest person in his audience will
send a glow of warmth and cheer into his heart—pleasing him for his good.

It is the good of the person, which we are to think.
Edifying means building up. This is always the motive of love.
Envy seeks to harm another, to take away from his honor, to check him in his
progress, to tear down what he has built up. But love always thinks of the
good of the other person, and of how his best interests may be advanced. We
have an errand to everyone whose life we touch. We are sent from God with a
blessing to Him. We may not know what our mission is, what the good is that
we are to do for Him—but love will find something to do for him which will
make him a better and happier man. The true Christian way of relating
ourselves to those about us is this—to be ready always to give any help that
may be needed.

The idea of help does not have in mind merely
material aid. Ofttimes the last thing we should do for one in need, is to
help him by relieving him of his load, by doing the hard task for him by
giving him money. In the miracle at the Beautiful Gate the apostles
had no money to give—but what they gave was better than money. We must not
think that none need love's ministries, but those who are in some physical
distress or in some great sorrow. Many who reveal no tokens of suffering,
are yet sufferers. Grief does not always wear mourning clothes. There are
hungry hearted ones, who need love and sympathy. There are those who are
misunderstood, to whom a word of confidence would impart strength. There are
discouraged people, to whom a glad, welcoming face is a heavenly blessing,
full of inspiration for them.

We cannot estimate the value of our influence, as helpers
of those who need help. We must seek to please them in ways which will make
them stronger, truer, better. There is a great deal of unfit comforting of
others by those who think only of pleasing, not of helping.
There is a kind of sympathy which only makes one weaker and less able
to endure. The word comfort means to strengthen. We have comforted a
sorrowing one, only when we have made him stronger. The Holy Spirit is
called the Comforter. The name means one who stands by another. Standing by
means comradeship. We may not give the person anything. We may not do
anything at all which can be regarded as a favor—but the mere fact of our
standing by him in strong friendship, is of incalculable value to him. That
was what Jesus hoped of His friends in Gethsemane. They could not help Him
in any way—He must drink the cup Himself; but if they were near by Him in
love and companionship, this alone would make Him stronger.

Our helping of others must not be too insistent. We must
respect the individuality of those to whom we would be friends. There is
danger that even love will be officious sometimes, and reveal its eagerness
in ways which will take away much of its value. People do not like to be
helped in a demeaning or professional way. The help must be the help of love
itself—and must be given simply, quietly, gently, unostentatiously. It must
never intermeddle. When we stand by one who is in sorrow—the fewer words we
speak the better. There is altogether too much talking in many cases, by
those who are sincerely eager to help. The best service we can give to
those who are in grief—is to lead them into the presence of Christ and leave
them there alone with Him.

A strong, quiet face, telling of peace and joy in the
heart, is in itself a blessing. On the other hand, a gloomy and discouraged
face hurts everyone who looks upon it, leaves a shadow upon other lives, and
makes them a little less fit for the struggles, the tasks, and the duties
before them.

If we are wise, we will avoid all ostentatious display
in efforts to please others. We will simply seek to be our natural
selves, with sincere love, with patience, thoughtfulness, and kindliness in
our spirits. We will not talk about it—talking about it spoils everything.
The best good is always done—when we know not that we are doing good. The
greatest help is given to others—when they knew not that they are being
helped.

The Duchess of Kent was a richly endowed woman, and was
universally beloved. Once the Princess Alice, herself simple, sweet and
unspoiled, asked her: "What makes everyone love to be with you? I am always
so sorry to have to leave you, and so are all the others who come here. What
is the secret, grandmamma?"

It was not easy for the noble woman to answer such a
personal question. But it was important that it should be answered for the
sake of her who had asked it, and who was indeed hungry to know the secret.
So the noble lady gave this memorable answer:

"I was early instructed, that the way to please
others--was to be sincerely interested in the things which interested them,
namely their own affairs; and that this could be accomplished only by
burying one's own troubles, interests, or joys completely out of sight.
Forgetfulness of one's own concerns, a smiling face, a sincere word of
sympathy or unselfish help, where it is possible to give it--will always
please others--and the giver equally so."

"I try to please everyone in everything I do. I
don't just do what I like or what is best for me, but what is best for
them—so they may be saved." 1 Corinthians 10:33