Thursday, August 04, 2011

"The Sights and Sounds of Enabling" is the first ebooklet of the Putting the Spotlight On series, written by Diane Viere, Founder of Partners In Prayer For Our Prodigals, Host of The Prodigal Hope Network and Christian Counselor and Elaine Altman-Eller, Family Recovery Specialist.

If you have seen these ladies online, you might think they are just a couple of pretty faces but don't let those profile pictures fool you; they are a wealthy storehouse of wisdom. I could not stop until I read the whole e-book through and will be rereading it again. From the very beginning of the book where Elaine points out how "Enabling never creates the outcome we so desperately desire; it only creates an environment whereby we become part of the problem................. to where she says, "When we enable we join the darkness of their journey" the beauty of the words of this e-book pulled me in. She then points out how we can become a light in our child’s life; a beacon. What a wonderful picture of health! Isn't that what we all aspire to, being a light and a beacon to others?

Elaine gives clear definitions between helping someone and enabling, something we all need to know. She talks about entitlement calling it the monster that it is. There are several case studies that were very in-depth. You feel like you have either been there or know someone who has.

Next in the book your E-Hope coach, Diane, is introduced and she has the most awesome remedies for your dilemma if you are an enabler. She reiterates; "There is a way out—we must stop enabling and begin empowering. We are not helpless; oh, it has seemed so, for we have been fighting an impossible battle—we have been trying to change what we cannot change. Real change is possible when we choose to stop enabling."

I also love her quote "When you love an adult child whose life is out of control, it is nearly impossible to focus on anything else. Unless and until you begin to understand that enabling only complicates every situation and causes further collateral damage, you will continue to be part of the problem."Can you believe as an enabler you are creating damage and are part of the problem? Of course, we don't want to believe these things but Diane has nailed the problem, and it may be us, not just our loved ones.Diane also mentioned: "Until parents relinquish the need to micro-manage everyone in their addicts life, they will remain entangled in the drama and continue to participate in the collateral damage of enabling."

She teaches about fear and how to turn that into empowerment. A great point is "After all, it is his right as an adult to behave differently than I would like."

In Diane's own words: The Sights and Sounds of Enabling puts the spotlight on the ineffectiveness and collateral damage caused by enabling. Discover why enabling never works and how you can stop enabling today. Step out of the darkness of your hopelessness today; step into your strength—learn how to love your addict effectively and become a guiding light for their recovery.

I identified with so many things written, as in "been there, done that" and am trying to not continue on that path. I believe this e-book can help us in so many areas of our lives.

You will not regret the money you spend on this e-book. It is way cheaper than a counseling session but I believe it is just as beneficial. Enjoy!