The Time I Exposed Myself in Publix

For you, I mean. Not the house–that’s different. But when you tackle your health or you start flossing or you cut your hair off? Or maybe you do a little of all of those things.

Or maybe it’s just a couple of changes. Nonetheless, you make them and it feels good. Gives you energy and excitement and you feel pretty and maybe you could tackle the world or run for President at the very least.

So we’ve been busting it at our workouts lately. Like it’s kicking my butt and taking names every. single. day. I’m back to that place where it hurts to wash my hair or sit on the toilet (why are those things SO low to the ground??) and sometimes, it hurts to lie down. Even though I’m in whining-mode agony, I do think these workouts are helping me lean out again. After the great get-myself-back-into-shape-mode in January, I’ve made loads of changes, and my body had finally settled in, not really changing much anymore.

Switching up our workouts (thank you beastly Amanda) totally helped and I’ve been feeling good about myself lately.

So good in fact that I got all gutsy and chopped 8 inches off my hair last week.

I’m not sure what got into me. I was just all, “Sure, go for it. I’m not insecure in the slightest or acknowledging that it took me approximately 8 years to grow this do out. Cut off all the hair, change all the things about me!”

Well, I loved it. Like giddy like a schoolgirl loved it. It was time for a change, and something about change is good for the soul. So I got a little full of myself in my hair-proud moment.

I met some friends for dinner in Montgomery, and it was splendid. Yes, splendid. Because it was better than great and not as excited as stupendous or fantastical. I even had a moscow mule, which is my favorite, and it’s rare for it to be available down here in Bama Jama. Montgomery is about an hour from our house, and we had friends coming into town–so this mama needed to make a quick Publix run at 9 p.m.

At first I was a little annoyed I had to stop so late (I’m an old, old woman who likes her yoga pants very much), but then it felt sort of great to be out so late (bahahaha) picking up groceries. Almost like I lived in NYC, and I was hopping over to the closest Duane Reade to snag a late night snack. I digress, though.

I’m walking through the store, and listen, we don’t have a Publix in Troy. I was strolling (NO kids-holla!) through the produce section, and this guy is repeatedly glancing my way. I’m thinking, whoa holy creeper in the night, batman. I quickened my pace, and headed on past produce into the pasta sauce section (there is a whole section for organic pasta sauce–what can I say? it’s the little things).

More glances.

More weirdness. I’m all insecure at first, thinking, “where is the large booger hanging off my face?!?” But I felt kind of pretty that day, so I finally started thinking, “well, okay, i’m not a supermodel or anything, but I don’t feel just terrible about my outfit/self today.”

I move on to the cereal.

And again.

I walk by the registers on my way to pick out a bottle of wine.

And again.

At this point, I’m just feeling decent about the whole situation. (Let me insert here that I am so far from vain, but obviously I’ve got some heart work to do on approval from others–but I liked my hair and felt cute, okay?)

And the process continued all the way over to Dairy, until I finally had the common sense to give myself a bit of a once-over.

Hello open shirt right at bra level.

Yep. That’s right.

It wasn’t my hair or my new workouts or even a dangling booger.

I had just been obliviously exposing myself Janet Jackson style for the last hour at 9 p.m. in Publix.

I scrambled to button my shirt back up (why would a random woman look like she’d just done a wardrobe change in the middle of the dairy isle at Publix at 10 p.m.??), and red face in tow, headed up front to check out.

Done that! I have a favorite button-up shirt. The middle buttons always seem to work their way out, but I can’t see them because of the boobs! It’s not until I feel a breeze under the wire, or some kind person gets sick of mah belleh, that I even know the darn things came undone again! LOL

Your hair looks great and you’re cute !! Now, would I tell someone they were exposing themselves?? I don’t know. There are some really odd people out there who want to show it all. They could get aggressive and say something totally off the wall because I was being judgmental?? I think I still would say something quietly and let the person decide if they wanted to bare it???

OOPS! Hit wrong button. continued…when I discovered it (I was at work) I simply buttoned up and said, “I guess I should quit flaunting.” I am sure I was blushing. When I later told my best friend, she said, “well, it’s just like them seeing you in a two piece swimsuit top, so what.”

1. Love the hair!
2. Keep up with the workouts. I wish I were more disciplined!
3. I would have told you about the brassiere situation. I think…maybe I would have just pointed to them and given you the, “Is that on purpose?” look.

That was such a cute and funny story! I had a similar incident, many years ago. I threw on my favorite pair of old denim shorts and ran to the grocery store…I could feel people staring at me but, for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why! I went about my shopping and tried not to be bothered by the stares. When I got home, I went to the bathroom then as I was pulling my shorts up, the entire back right side of them was completely ripped, so my right butt cheek had been fully exposed. I was horrified and avoided that grocery store for months after!