This is all very strange. If that Fram really won, I think Gerry should just laugh it off. Good Gawd. He has fans all over the world. He can’t go into hiding. THIS IS what he wanted afterall. And worked his little butt off for a decade. Well, now he’s got it in spades. Some kind of immortality? I got that. Afraid of being forgotten in the big picture? Deal with it kiddo. No boring lawyer life. But maybe in the long run you would have been happier as a mediocre lawyer in mid-Scotland?

FWIW

@LoneWolf:
“….. but it just threw me how just from that bit in the interview and what all has been said in regards to it, it now looks like they are back together”
———————————————————————————————–
I think you may have misunderstood my original comment. My apologies as I should have been more clear. When GB mentioned “hanging out” with Bianca, he didn’t mean they were hanging out now. He was referring to the past. This is the quote: “I had a girlfriend once and we’d been hanging out for a long time and the second we went to an event together the hate that came through the internet …”
GB meant “hanging out” in the past tense, not the present. Again, I’m really sorry I wasn’t more clear because I do not want to unwittingly start another rumor. GB did not say he’s seing Bianca now.

I’ve known her since early 90s – the good old Take That days and like with alot of fandoms you make friends for life. Maybe I’m a weirdo too because we went all over UK/Europe to see the band and thought nothing of it just girls loving a band and having a great time together –

And like #Mia said @143 the boyfriends etc were all big footie fanatics going to football games so we never saw it as anything different and I still see it that way – different hobbies. If I was not married/kids and had no ties I think I’d still be doing what we did back then. She gets the best of both worlds seeing her friends and she knows that she is not always guranteed a glimpse of Gerard but so far she’s been lucky at the PAs/TV shows.

What I can’t get my head around and why I felt I had to speak up is I could understand if Gerard was some ordinary bloke she had got a fixation on and followed him everywhere but he is an actor and like pop stars/groups they have fans who show at Personal Appearances like film premieres and tv shows etc – if she took it to the extreme and “stalked” him in his private time then yes I’d be joining you all in the queue of bashing her. The only time she has ever been near a hotel Gerard was in was at TIFF when she went to meet up with some Michael Fassbender fans and that is when she met him for first time – as far as I can tell nobody knew Gerard was staying there as it was at other end of town from where he stayed when there before. She has been going to the Golden Globes yearly since 2000 – not just the years Gerard has been there. She is in a fortunate position with no ties and very little financial output that she can afford to do all this – hell if he was in UK more often I am sure she would not bother her backside going over to US – so it seems to me because others are not in the same position jealousy is playing a big part in the constant bashing.

Some of you say she gives other GB fans a bad name – I find that laughable because she is doing nothing different to any of the East /WestCoast fans who do more than she does she only has to travel further and she draws the line at set visits unlike alot of other fans.

As for the Glasgow tix she won them from F Gary Gray who invited her to LA so I think if she was Public Enemy #1 with Gerard and his people she would not be winning this contest – open your eyes people as it appears it is you lot and not Gerard that has an issue with her.

for XX and framalamdingbat

@XX: Yikes! I have just read your stuff – you have not done anything to improve the situation with this sad, pathetic woman. You have merely confirmed, by your defence of her, what a strange, empty and deluded person she is. To find that her Gerard Butler obsession is the latest in the line of a long line of similar fantasties is even more pathetic. This is a public board – and your in depth personal revelations, together with the sad things she posts about herself on the fanboards and her OCD compulsive tiwttering disorder seem to add up to the obvious description of someone who is a borderline (or worse) stalker. You can dress it up as being a ‘fan’ and it being fun or a hobby like following football, but this is an obessive compusive mental illness in any other book. You have not helped your ‘friend’.

Well it’s plain to see there are plenty Gerard Butler fans with “obsessive compulsive mental illness” as you put it so she’s amongst good company!!! Believe me there are worse than her you only need to do a twitter search on Gerard Butler.

I think it is obvious for all to see that just because we dont all do the same things or have the same likes it is so easy to bash those who do not fall inline with what we perceive to be “normal”.

Maybe all you bashers out there need to look at your own lives and if they are so fulfilled why do you feel the need to come here and bring others down. To an outsider looking in it is all you lot that are the shallow empty people here not the likes of her and all the others you try to mock.

You say I have done her no favours with my little revelations well you are entitled to your opinion like I am entitled to defend a friend who is unfairly bashed alot of the time.

The problem is there are soooo many actors that blind item could be about.

Jennifer Jackson

Here is a report of Gerry’s 40th birthday bash at Chinawhite Club in the Soho section of London last night. A colleague of mine was one of the invited guests. There were about 30 guests there, men and women, all friends of Gerry’s. He did not have a date, but circulated and smoozed and danced with everyone. Gerry drank either sparkling water or Coca-Cola the entire evening. There was food served. There was live music as well as canned music. Gerry came to the party with one of his friends (male) and left the party alone as well, around 3 a.m. this morning. Everyone, including my colleague, had a good time, and according to her, it was one of the nicest parties she has ever been to.

Oh Gee Wiz!

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw rocks. I agree with XX. Anyone one of us here could fit the mold of OCD. Aren’t a lot of you here every day scanning for more people to bash, including GB. Who owns the problem? I’d say half the people here has a problem in one form or another. Leave the girl alone. Aren’t there worse things going on in the world than one girl out of many following a celebrities career.

May God Bless you All

Psalm 19:14
New International Version
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

May God Bless you All

Psalm 19:14
New International Version
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

fryguy partyguy

Jennifer Jackson : …’Gerry came to the party with one of his friends (male) ‘…

well, seems obvious that G would bring fry guy to his party – so who wants to start today? LOL

trying to figure it out

@ XX
What I can’t get my head around and why I felt I had to speak up is I could understand if Gerard was some ordinary bloke she had got a fixation on…..

He is an ordinary bloke who, by profession, is an actor. If she wouldn’t obsess over him if he was a plumber, why do it because he is an actor? And why can’t you get your head around the fact you had to speak up and defend her, you obviosly do have issues with

trying to figure it out

@XX

Sorry, computer went on the fritz. Try again:

What I can’t get my head around and why I felt I had to speak up is I could understand if Gerard was some ordinary bloke she had got a fixation on…..

He is an ordinary bloke who, by profession, is an actor like every other actor out there. I don’t know why people obsess over them so much, they are human and being an actor doesn’t make them any different. I can never figure out why a person like Gerry is a nobody one minute and a “star” the next being fawned over. Do they change overnight? I doubt it. If she wouldn’t obsess over him if he was a plumber, why do it because he is an actor? And why can’t you get your head around the fact you had to speak up and defend her, you obviously do have issues with it. Like #155 said – you are revealing too much about your friend, her father’s medical condition, her life. Why? It’s really irrelevant to the situation. Have you thought about any of her “friends” seeing this stuff and wondering – OMG? Not all of us on this board are crazed fans. I myself like Gerry, I’ve never met him and never will. I don’t Tweet , don’t have a Facebook account I’m not into this running all over h*ll’s half acre to see him. I have a right as much as anyone else to voice my opinion, and just because it’s a negative one aimed at one particular person doesn’t mean I am a shallow person with a sad life. Your friend is spending a lot of time and money so she can see Gerry, who is someone she will never have. What do you think your friend would do if he announced he is getting married? Or he’s gay? And I’m not saying he is. Her fantasy world is going to come crashing down around her. How will she deal with it. Think about it and what has happened to “stars” in the past – John Lennon ring any bells?

yikes

framolamadung reminds me of Jack Torrance in The Shining. I bet she owns an axe as well. Just run, Gerry. Run like the fuuckking wind.

Sorry for my irritable post earlier. No I haven’t flip flopped. I’ve been a GB critic/ sometime admirer right along, neither rabid fan nor rabid hater. Sometimes puzzled and exasperated by some of his behavior and remarks. Other times appreciative of his acting, his ambition and the hard work he’s put in to achieve success, not to mention his good looks. I thought the Oslo interviews with the blonde reporter were very good. He sounded more like the down to earth person he seemed in his pre-big Hollywood star days, although I didn’t really know much about him before “300″ . I did see Timeline, Phantom, Attila, Reign of Fire, Beowulf & Grendel and some interviews he did.
It helped that the reporter in Norway didn’t gush or ask rude and silly questions about his sex life and such. She was very professional, I thought. This isn’t the first time lately that he has talked about realizing that he’s made unwise comments to the press and joking about being sent to “media training.”

I HAVE felt for awhile that he was becoming too Hollywood and too Americanized, all over the map being “seen” at events, and that success had gone to his head a bit. Gawd! Even spouting Valley Speak on occasion! His Scottishness, his Celtic outlook on life, his humor and his accent, are part of his appeal –I think most agree on that–and I’d like to see him not lose that and become just another Hwood actor. Maybe he’s settling down a bit.

I honestly don’t know I said what I did in that last post, must have been in a bit*chy mood or just exceedingly tired and annoyed by some dumb remark GB said in some interview. I don’t even remember. It does seem harsh and I’d remove it if I knew how. I’m not a fangurl OR a hater. Truth is, I don’t spend hours a day thinking about GB or searching for info on him. In fact, when he did a premiere and press interviews in a town about 20 miles from where I live some time back, I didn’t even consider interrupting my day to drive there and hang around trying to get a glimpse of him. I certainly wouldn’t rack up credit card bills flying all over the country or the world to see any star or hang around sets or red carpets. I usually don’t even visit star websites. GB is uncommonly entertaining, somehow, good looking, personable, sometimes funny and sometimes controversial and somehow I got caught up in these JJ threads. They have taken on a life of their own, are fun and funny and sort of addictive because of some of the regular posters, whom I feel I sort of know even though I don’t.
That’s pretty much my position for a long time, Ohh Maa Gawd. It hasn’t changed overall.

Thanks, Mr. Giggles and others, for supplying links. I enjoy seeing them and would probably never look for them or find them myself.
Have a good weekend, all. I know I’ve gone on too long again and promise to shut up now for awhile. :)

Is the blonde….

Isn’t the blonde woman in the picture, the same woman he was photographed with on the set of The Bounty? He had his arm around her. One of the production crew, later photgraphed at a club dancing together?

ManLESSton, I likely

Curious, glad to see you back. I was afraid you had gone for good. You would be missed. Same goes for cubedweller, stinky, trying to figure it out, amen (where have you been?) and lavender.
.
Glad to see XX has taken a break. Can’t believe Framo got almost two pages. But she is crazy entertaining.
.
OT Curious, we just packed up our nursery and donated everything to a shelter. I have never done such a hard thing in my life. It has sat undisturbed for more than two years. Closing this particular chapter in our life has been really hard for us. How did you get through it in your life? We have both been crying for most of yesterday and today. How do we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps? We both keep telling each other the grief will pass, but when I look in his eyes I can tell he doesn’t believe it anymore than I do. I thought I had seen it all working in hospice in the past, but boy is it different when you are walking in those shoes. Naive of me…MUCH! Any advice?
.
Your opinion is important to me. Everyone in our life has opinions and loads of advice, but none of been through a major loss like this. It also has made me review what an a$$ I may have been too in thinking I knew it all.
.
Your insight will be meaningful to me.

curious cat

just testing

ManLESSton, I likely

listening…

thanks

@Jennifer Jackson: thanks for that report. let us in on any other scoops. we appreciate them here.

curious cat

@manlesston
I just hit a wrong key and wasn’t sure whether or where my message would go so just did a test send.
Your warm messages are always appreciated. I’m not likely to go for good. To me these threads are recreation. Until your last post. I skim through the latest ones every few days as an amusing break and sometimes there are 200 more messages on a thred than the last time I looked. I like to receive and give real information, often I feel I have nothing to contribute to the discussion at hand so I don’t post. When I do, as people have observed, sometimes not kindly, I tend to be too wordy and go off on a tangent about something someone said 100 posts back. Look at how many posts on this thread before I realized someone had addressed me at #114. and I posted again at #169 only to answer that. I haven’t been “driven off” YET, but you can’t be thin-skinned around these parts. :)
You know what is weird? We cynics are evolving into a support group much as the fangurls did? Except differently. GB is not the main issue with some of us any more.
You dont need someone to make fun of you.
I’m not ignoring your question, just thinking. I do remember that you lost a child. I don’t think you posted many details. I didn’t know your age then or realize you lost an infant. I don’t like to pry into people’s personal business on threads. I wonder boy or girl, how old, was it your first, how did it happen. Etc. You have asked me for some personal input. You may not want to share this experience with everyone on the site or expose yourself to the crazies out here.

This is really the only celebrity-oriented site I visit. Well, I did visit the website of Brooks & Dunn when they announced their pending breakup, just to confirm that awful news, but other than that…Other sites I visit regularly have to do with my music/dance interests, news stories, historical research, etc.

The reason I’m saying this is that some websites have a really nice feature that allows you to contact other posters personally through the website, off the thread without etiher of you revealing your identity if you don’t choose. You can have private chats other posters don’t have to see if you have something you want to talk about with an individual poster that others might not be interested in. Or appreciate. Or bash. I’ve had some very interesting conversations with people from different countries.
Right now I’m trying to think of a site that you could go to and leave a message for me anonymously and have it come into my inbox.

This does have its bad side too. I stood up for someone on a racist issue and was delighted to find a pesonal message in my inbox only to find it was a crude racist attack on me. I felt the Ku Klux Klan still rides. But at least them bastar*ds don’t know who I am or where I live. They won’t be on my lawn burning a cross. It’s still shocking that in 2009 people have these attitudes.

I don’t know the answer to your question, MANLESSTON, I had a different situation from yours. In the movie “Steel Magnolias,” Sally Field screams at her costar who ofers religious advice and Field screams that chilldren aren’t supposed to die before their parents do.

i didn’t have that situation and I think I told you I can’t imagine that kind of pain. I commend you on letting go of the nursey.r I hope for greater joy for you.
I’m going to get back to you. Somehow.

ManLESSton, I likely

@curious cat
.
We did get a phone call a little while ago from the shelter where the stuff went and they conveyed their need and their sincere thanks for the donation. They told me they had set up the crib and said they had two infants sleeping peacefully away in it. That phone call made me smile. That crib needed to be filled.
.
This move out of state has had us in high spirits to start a new life and adventure. I knew packing up the old life would be hard, but wasn’t prepared for how painful it would truly be.
.
I remembered your loss and knew you would understand the hole in my heart. I appreciate your kind words and wishes.

Mr. Giggles

@ManLESSton, I likely: Sweetie, check out this site…..maybe it will help. It’s a resource site for grieving parents.

@manlesston and Mr. Giggles
Bully for you both. Manlesston, I didn’t say it, Manlesston but I felt you are an ER nurse, you would know where to go for professional grief assistance and didn’t think you were looking for that from me but I really want to be there for you too. I wanted to send you to a web site where you could feel safe and supported, and the web is a crazy world. Mr. Giggles, you are a champion, you came through, you are a prince. I am humble pie in comparison.

trying to figure it out

Mr. Giggles, Curious Cat and ManLESSton

Contrary to what a lot of people think, there are some kind, thoughtful people on this site. ManLESSton, I wish you well, I don’t envy your move because I have done it so many times. But look at it like this way, as one door closes, another one opens. I always tell friends who ask for advice – “Take it one day at a time” – you will get there.

Now I’m off to walk the dog on a dreary, wet morning.

ManLESSton, I likely

Giggles and Curious Cat. Thank you both so much. Giggles, you are an inspiration and so internet savvy. You are an answer to my prayers. As hubby and I were talking late last night, we decided to seek help in SLC for the long term (your links are so appreciated for research today, Giggles) and are scheduling an appt tomorrow with our local marriage counselor who specializes in grief counseling.
.
I got on here last night trying to avoid having to feel anything real. Then it hit me that Curious would know something of what I am feeling. It was a great catalyst for me. By spending time thinking and asking for help with you, it opened up my brain and got it working again. We both were in such a fog, the grief had caught us both off guard. I told him that I had been conversing with you and thought how you might have comforted one of your children. So I went to him to offer him comfort. That got us talking.
.
So you know, I was 23 weeks pregnant with our first child when hit by a drunk driver on the way home from work. Our son and my uterus were lost in the accident. To say the least, 3 weeks in the hospital (6 days in the ICU), several months in casts followed by months of rehab occupied more than a year after the accident. My hubby was the best coach through it all.
.
Yes I am an ER nurse who spent about 14 months working with hospice. That changed at the beginning of the summer when we (with our counselor’s help) realized I was surrounding myself with grief and needed to change my outlook to living not death so I am strictly in the ER again. Apparently I am more human than I had thought because my mind shut down yesterday and I didn’t even know how to help myself. Ironic…when it comes to physical ills, I am someone you would want in your corner.
.
The sun is shining on a new snowfall this morning and life is moving again. YOU WERE MY BOOTSTRAPS LAST NIGHT. I hope you realize how important you are and were to me last night. We’re heading out on a walk with the dogs to enjoy the morning. BBL…and thanks again!

curious cat

@manlesston
I did not know all this! How sad! You not only lost your first born but can’t have any more children! Some people say God doesn’t give us any more grief than we can bear, but I’m not sure about that. I do know you will find a way through this, with counseling, faith, I don’t know what. My problems seem infinitesimal in comparison. I married a man considerably older than I, who had longstanding health problems, and knew I was increasing the chances of being a fairly young widow. I sought counseling in advance, what might be in store, but do you pass up love with a “wrong” person you love for the “right” person you may or may not find later? I used to tell him, you never know, I could drive away one day and get hit by someone in another car and you would be left raising two kids alone at a mature age.I have two fantastic kids any mother would to have and I have friends whose kids are into drugs, beat them up for money and unreal.

When my husband died I had plenty of notice. In the end I think that is easier because you have all kinds of preparation time to grieve in advance. I had that and you didn’t. Plus, I can’t imagine anything as awful as losing a baby. I almost lost my son once in a near drowning and I remember how horrible it felt. When my husband died, all kinds of stuff happened. The economy went sour. I lost my job, but he needed me at home anyway, so I felt it was meant to be. Then I got sick, was told my disease was incurable but not fatal. I’m still not over it but I try every day. I’ve never been suicidal. Every day I wake up and believe life is going to get better. Sometimes I think I am an incurable optimist.

Do you know what’s really ironic here? We posted on a GB site, we laugh at the fangurls but this weird man is causing people, especially women, to find and support each other.

IF you want to talk to me more, I suggest you go to YouTube to Billy Ray Cyrus Trail of Tears.
It;’s a beautiful song, there are some nasty people there but if you post any kind of comment I think I can contact you directly and privately. You a

curious cat

@manlesston
I did not know all this! How sad! You not only lost your first born but can’t have any more children! Some people say God doesn’t give us any more grief than we can bear, but I’m not sure about that. I do know you will find a way through this, with counseling, faith, I don’t know what. My problems seem infinitesimal in comparison. I married a man considerably older than I, who had longstanding health problems, and knew I was increasing the chances of being a fairly young widow. I sought counseling in advance, what might be in store, but do you pass up love with a “wrong” person you love for the “right” person you may or may not find later? I used to tell him, you never know, I could drive away one day and get hit by someone in another car and you would be left raising two kids alone at a mature age.I have two fantastic kids any mother would to have and I have friends whose kids are into drugs, beat them up for money and unreal.

When my husband died I had plenty of notice. In the end I think that is easier because you have all kinds of preparation time to grieve in advance. I had that and you didn’t. Plus, I can’t imagine anything as awful as losing a baby. I almost lost my son once in a near drowning and I remember how horrible it felt. When my husband died, all kinds of stuff happened. The economy went sour. I lost my job, but he needed me at home anyway, so I felt it was meant to be. Then I got sick, was told my disease was incurable but not fatal. I’m still not over it but I try every day. I’ve never been suicidal. Every day I wake up and believe life is going to get better. Sometimes I think I am an incurable optimist.

Do you know what’s really ironic here? We posted on a GB site, we laugh at the fangurls but this weird man is causing people, especially women, to find and support each other.

IF you want to talk to me more, I suggest you go to YouTube to Billy Ray Cyrus Trail of Tears.
It;’s a beautiful song, there are some nasty people there but if you post any kind of comment I think I can contact you directly and privately. You a

curious cat

@manlesston
I did not know all this! How sad! You not only lost your first born but can’t have any more children! Some people say God doesn’t give us any more grief than we can bear, but I’m not sure about that. I do know you will find a way through this, with counseling, faith, I don’t know what. My problems seem infinitesimal in comparison. I married a man considerably older than I, who had longstanding health problems, and knew I was increasing the chances of being a fairly young widow. I sought counseling in advance, what might be in store, but do you pass up love with a “wrong” person you love for the “right” person you may or may not find later? I used to tell him, you never know, I could drive away one day and get hit by someone in another car and you would be left raising two kids alone at a mature age.I have two fantastic kids any mother would to have and I have friends whose kids are into drugs, beat them up for money and unreal.

When my husband died I had plenty of notice. In the end I think that is easier because you have all kinds of preparation time to grieve in advance. I had that and you didn’t. Plus, I can’t imagine anything as awful as losing a baby. I almost lost my son once in a near drowning and I remember how horrible it felt. When my husband died, all kinds of stuff happened. The economy went sour. I lost my job, but he needed me at home anyway, so I felt it was meant to be. Then I got sick, was told my disease was incurable but not fatal. I’m still not over it but I try every day. I’ve never been suicidal. Every day I wake up and believe life is going to get better. Sometimes I think I am an incurable optimist.

Do you know what’s really ironic here? We posted on a GB site, we laugh at the fangurls but this weird man is causing people, especially women, to find and support each other.

IF you want to talk to me more, I suggest you go to YouTube to Billy Ray Cyrus Trail of Tears.
It;’s a beautiful song, there are some nasty people there but if you post any kind of comment I think I can contact you directly and privately. You a

ManLESSton, I likely

Heard you loud and clear, curious.
.
Thanks to you, trying to figure it out. Your wishes are appreciated. I’m doing better today. I think I’m going to make it day by day. *winks*
.
God bless Gerry Butler for having some good people posting on a blog in somewhere deep in internetland that are kind and caring. *hugging you gals*

ManLESSton, I likely

Oops Gerry doesn’t HAVE he ATTRACTS GOOD PEOPLE…

trying to figure it out

ManLESSton
Maybe Gerry should have some of us board members working for him. We’d soon get him sorted out – have him dressed correctly for the right occasion, have him there on time, advise him on how to choose better scripts and how to keep his mouth shut. Yes, we would do wonders for his career.

You know Man, there’s an old saying – God moves in mysterious ways. He doesn’t necessarily give you what you want; he springs surprises on you when you least expect it, but he is always there for you no matter what comes your way. There is a reason for everything, you just have to take the good with the bad and one day you will be blessed with something wonderful and unexpected. Keep the faith girl.

curious cat

@

curious cat

@

ManLESSton, I likely

*Hugs* trying to figure it out. This morning was refreshing. The sun was shining brightly on new fallen snow and everything was so bright. I took that as a personal sign for us. We had a great walk in the snow with the dogs and we have laughed again. We have been blessed with great counseling and love for each other. We will pull through. There is always light, we just have to let it in. Your kind thoughtful wishes are great appreciated. Same back at you gal!

trying to figure it out

@ ManLESSston
I too enjoyed my walk with the mutt this morning; it was overcast and chilly, we haven’t had our first snow yet. I am fortunate to have a park bordering the back of the house, and very close to open fields and woods where my mutt can run wild and chase rabbits and anything else with four legs, which he can never catch. The woods are too wet and muddy to traverse right now, but once the snow flies we’ll be able to take our walks there. Hubby left me alone this week and is in Belgium (buying me chocolates) so I am the keeper of the dog and hairball (cat). It’s is beginning to get dark so I had better get the mutt out for another walk; I am looking ahead at the time and figure Gerry should be at the cinema now!

curious cat

@trying to figure it out. Right on!
Sorry about those non-posts. I was having some kind of computer quirk there. Shut down, powered up again and in busines.
Manlesston, this is appropos of nothing, as they say, has nothing to do with your situation but a commentary on life. We don’t know why it happens as it does.
I told you I married a man much older than myself. I ended up a caregiver for the last several years. I remember the moment a nurse in the hospital handed me a pair of surgical gloves and said, “You are about to learn wound care because YOU are going to be his main caregiver.” A minute later she snapped at me to take the gloves off and put on a new pair because I had accidentally touched something. She was a tough teacher. He had had major emergency surgery for complicqtions of colon cancer and his stomach was slashed open. Later I had to learn physical therapy. I had to learn to do everything and I have no medical training.

After he died there came a time when friends were urging me to start getting out, dating, and building my life again. My own illness prevented this for awhile. But I idly told a friend about a young man who was a great friend to me through high school and college. We were friends and confidants, could almost read each other’s minds we were so close. At one time he suggested he was interested in more of a relationship. The opportunity passed, I didn’t jump and close the deal, he didn’t persist, which of us was at fault I’m not sure, but we lost touch, I knew he married and divorced and mentioned him to this girlfriend. She said it was rare to have the kind of connection I had with him. I promised to look him up. and see if he was available..

I did find him. And guess what? This man I remembered as a handsome young athlete had also had cancer and two strokes, couldn’t walk without a walker, could barely speak well enough to be understood, and thankfully was remarried to a woman who sounds loving and caring.
The bottom line is, if I had married the bright handsome jock my own age instead of the older man, I still would have been a caregiver in the last few years.

When I saw “P.S., I Love You” i went to pieces. Intellectually, I felt maniupulated by the film, I didn’t even much like the Hilary Swank character but I felt at times that I was watching myself on the screen. Getting drunk, throwing up, the dirty dishes in the sink, not answering phone calls. There was even a jacket I couldn”t part with.

None of this has anything to do with your situation except how we deal with grief. No, I think you will never quite get over the loss of your child but you will come to accept that is what happened and find some other direction for your life.

Readwell

May God with you throughout your difficult times.

A pal via JJ.

trying to figure it out

@ Curious Cat
Your story is very compelling. I think we all, to some degree, become care-givers in our life to someone; I just hope that when you need that “special caregiver” he or she will be there for you.

ManLESSton, I likely

curious cat what a dear one you are. It takes a lot to be a caregiver and to be that emotionally invested is even more difficult. As a clinician I always look at how to make the patient both physically and emotionally comfortable and then I look to the family. But always in the back of my mind I know that I get to go home. And there you were in the middle of it and being a mother to two young children while nursing him. What incredible strength you have.
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I have been sharing all your posts with the hubby. He was very touched by all your concern and finally understands why I chose to get on here last night. He has the same issues with our loving parents trying to make things better, sometimes it can all be too much even though they want the very best for us.
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You all have been an inspiration and helped me during a really down day. I adore you curious cat, trying to figure it out, and giggles. You are the very best in my book.

trying to figure it out

ManLESSton
You are very welcome. When do you actually make the big move to SLC?

ManLESSton, I likely

The week before Christmas. Crazy huh? We are both from AZ so we will be moving and then heading to AZ for the holidays. Hubby starts work beginning of January and I am in second interviews with two of the hospitals. We get to literally start our new life with the New Year. Timing is everything right?…

trying to figure it out

@ ManLESSton
Well, that’s wild. However, Arizona for Christmas would be nice – no snow? I’ve actually lived in places where there’s no snow at Christmas and you know, I miss it. Too true, timing is everything – 2010 will be your year.

@manless

I’m so sorry for you situation. My sympathies. Please take this with the intent that it is given — don’t you have any friends in real life to talk to and share with? I say this because I think you may be putting too much of your personal life on a public message board. It goes to those who may be helpful withtheir responses but there others who will just file it away to use against you in the future, and possibly identify you in real life. Perhaps you can share an anonymous email for curious and others to send t heir contact info to and then delete the account and contact them from another one that you create. Internet frineds can be nice, but real ones are often better. Just some advice given with good intentions only, not anything else. Good luck to you and your husband.

downlowinfo

Manless it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I don’t have anything other to say than good luck, and God Bless.