Freddie — Part 1

Sophy says: I am so in love with the almost pinky red foliage going on behind freds. And the sky is like… nearly turquoise. Amazing.

I also love how tall he looks. And just… idk, this sad, confused kid walking along by the train tracks thinking to himself… it’s such a romantic image, somehow.

And that’s one of the few times I like his clothes. The worn, soft, muted and oh so ordinary look he has going on is lovely.

Rin says: The background looks like it should be in a period piece. I’m a big fan of his ratty sling bag, and I have no idea why.

Sophy says: ffs, the lights, the lights. Stop it, Skins, this is getting very embarrassing for Rin’s designer.

Rin says: Ahaha, I don’t even think he/she wears pants anymore to be honest. I love the flickering of the lights and I wish we had seen more of these ‘designed’ sequences because they’re so lovely. It really reminds me of the 70s in America though, I dunno? Venice Beach?

Rin says: I have a similar tshirt. WUT?! Is this good or bad, I don’t know :(((((

Sophy says: It’s okay, Rin, you’re fine – Freds is the one dressing like a girl.

Sophy says: lol he looks like such a dork. And also like a homeless, underfed puppy.

Karen’s fringe really doesn’t work here. it’s like she added extensions to a Beatles bowlcut.

BUT OMG HI KAREN I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU MADE ME FUCKING ANGRY IN THIS EPISODE.

And I see baby-Karen photo!

Rin says: Her hair is so bad here! I just, thank god they did it differently in s4. Although that seems to be the trend, I think most of the cast got better hair/everythinglooks-wise in s4.

Sophy: Yeah… Although…

I’ll never forget those babies.

Sophy says: lol dear lord. Ass2Ass is how we can all be sure Karen won’t be in gen 3. If it turns out she’s younger than Freddie, I’m going to have to start adorning Mr Freds’ caps with sparkles and Sophias and ‘Best Dad Ever!’

Although tbh some of the shit he does in this episode already has me tempted to do that.

Rin says: The costumes for the guys are so disturbing. SO DISTURBING. And the female dancer on the right must be a lesbian. Look at her outer-underwear! BRIEF-CUT!!

Sophy says: She can’t sing or dance for shit. But boy is she pretty. That first cap… fffff.

Klariza and Luke make such a convincing and beautiful brother/sister team.

Rin says: Much better casting than those damn Prescotts.

Sophy says: I know right. It’s like they weren’t even trying with that casting. Pathetic.

Sophy says: OMG IT’S BOB FOSSIL. So that’s how Vince got this gig.

Seriously I may have jumped out of my seat squealing the first time I saw this. Cos… BOB FOSSIL.

Also Rin still hasn’t watched the Boosh box set I gave her, but when she does, I’m sure she will agree with me… Rin is Vince Noir. I am Howard Moon, sir.

No really. It’s uncanny.

Rin says: I quite like Fossil watches. /airy

Sophy says: KAREN YOU DANCE LIKE A GAZELLE. A GAZELLE ON ACID.

Sophy says: The way his hair is covering his ear in that cap makes him look like an elf.

Or possibly someone’s long lost vastly more dopey cousin…

Rin says: I would much rather you keep him as an elf! Except he needs blonde hair. He’d have to go all Anwar on us.

Sophy says: I tried to manip Legolas’s hair onto him. The results were horrendous. And I realized I’d given him a braid in the process. I’m not letting you near the manip.

Sophy says: I love him touching his mother’s face in the photo. I love it even more in the context of his wider arc as a character.

Rin says: The slight touch is beautiful.

Rin says: Bewildered awe. Srsly, I’ve just watched him dance for a good minute just now. ENTRANCING.

Sophy says: FFFFFFFFFF BABY YOU CAN TURN ME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE TOM JONES. I’m not even being ironic.

Sophy says: This whole exchange is amazing. Karen asks if she looks sexy and Freddie tells her not to be fucking twisted, she’s his sister. I immediately see this…

Maybe Karen got the same visual I did and is miffed at the comparison, or maybe she just feels like playing her favourite game. She bellows “Daaaaaad!” and the best and most upsetting part? She doesn’t even need to turn around to know that he has come running to attend to her, silently and about as fast as Sid’s dad burst into his room to take the tv and asian fanny fun away.

Karen mock-sighs. “Freddie says I look ugly,” she says. Mr Freds protests. “She doesn’t look ugly, she looks sexy,” he explains matter-of-factly, because he has been well-schooled in how Miss Sexxbomb would like to be spoken of, thank you very much. He insists that Freddie tell his sister she looks sexy on the television and Freddie sulkily complies. “You look sexy on the telly, Karen,” he says. And I am creeped out, not so much by father and son discussing Karen’s hotness, but by the way Mr Freds coddles and indulges his daughter at all costs.

It makes sense, I suppose, because she’s precious to him – more precious than Freddie perhaps, because she’s the female child, she’s his dead wife’s little girl, and given the circumstances of Mrs Freds’ death, the idea of Karen not being happy is probably closely associated in shadowy parts of Mr Freds’ mind with the idea of her not being alive anymore.

But still. Get a grip, Mr F. It’s a wonder Karen isn’t more of a brat than she is. And let’s face it, in this episode at least, she’s one hell of a brat.

Rin says: *starts to twitch* Karen’s hair….

Sophy says: Karen closing her eyes and crossing her fingers is the greatest ever.

Rin says: Agreed. It’s so adorable. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ISN’T? SHOES ON THE COUCH, WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

Sophy says: Quick! Set the pom on her!

Sophy says: lol, Freds is too busy being emo to find it as adorbs as I do.

Rin says: Aw look at them, father/daughter mimicking the same action.

Sophy says: Freddie retreats to his shed to get some peace, and there’s Effy… dressed like a total crackwhore.

Interesting.

No really, it is interesting. I think the incongruity of full-scale crackwhore!Effy suddenly appearing in his oh so quaint, English ramshackle garden is brilliant.

Rin says: Just like me and the glue…you and the Freds. It surprisingly works quite well.

Sophy says: Personally I think my smile is much more pleasant than Freds’ ‘Wtf crackwhore!Effy, why are you here’ expression.

Sophy says: I adore the way she plays with him. Her little smile, her arched brow, her feet neatly pressed together and her hands clasped in front of her.

“Everyone says you have a marvelous shed.”

“Everyone?”

“Yes. It’s marveled at.”

Rin says: You have to wonder why Effy is even here. She hasn’t been out all night, so it’s like she woke up and asked herself what she wanted to do today. And the answer was, ‘Hang out with Freddie.’

Sophy says: I find it gorgeous. Or I would find it gorgeous…

Sophy says: Poor Freds. He wound up dead over Effy and meanwhile, all along…

Rin says: Sophome climbing onto the bench. I don’t even know what to do with myself.

Sophy says: There it is! The three musketeers photo. I hope this photo haunts you in your dreams after the shit you pull at the end of this episode, Effy Stonem.

Although, it’s probably less upsetting than the things you usually dream about, so idk… carry on.

And I am noting with some anger, that at this point there is no ‘dick’ on the photo with a nice thick arrow pointing at Freddie’s head. So help me God, if I get through these recaps and find that that detail was a ~creative decision made for the finale in which Freddie is fucking dead…

I’ll…

buy six loaves of bread. And point and point and point.

Rin says: I have to admit it’s a pretty fucking amazing shed. As long as there weren’t any bugs/spiders in there, I could hang out in the there just fine. And as long as it wasn’t too dirty.

Sophy says: Effy mocks him a bit, just to break the ice.

Freddie feebly tries to clean up, because, as confirmed in 405, that’s what he does when Effy Stonem makes him nervous.

Rin says: Is this magazine more disturbing than Asian Fanny Fan? I honestly can’t tell anymore.

Rin says: Freds gaydar must be nonexistent. He doesn’t see the signs!! Or maybe….he just doesn’t want to.

Sophy says: Freds. Such an ostrich.

Sophy says: ew, ew, ew.

Also, I love this exchange.

“So what do you and the boys do in here? Braid each other’s hair and play soggy biscuit?”

“No… not for ages.”

People say Freddie doesn’t have a sense of humour… he does. It’s just quiet and very, very deadpan. If you’re making too much noise yourself, you wouldn’t notice it. So I guess it’s a good thing Effy Stonem is pretty quiet.

Also I’m glad the boys don’t braid each others’ hair anymore… that way lies badness in Rophyland

Rin says: I think the ‘not for ages’ bit is ridiculously cute. If Freffy had more of these moments where we get to see them just be them I think they would have had a lot more support along the way.

Sophy says: Agreed. The over-emphasis on the triangle didn’t leave much room for sweet little scenes like this.

Also love his little joke about the doilies keeping the cups clean. And am wondering… if this was our shed, Rin, would you let me wear shoes in it to keep my feet clean?

Rin says: Yes, but our shed would be cleaner and have carpet, so there shouldn’t be a need for shoes then.

Sophy says: So. Spliff, then?

Geez, drug use is so matter-of-fact for these kids.

But I get what Effy is doing – she totally wants to try the whole dutch courage thing that worked so well for Naomi and Emily in the last episode.

Rin says: They’re such amateurs though. Freddie should have asked to do blowbacks by now. After making a fire out of 3 twigs.

Sophy says: Very true. PULL YOUR DAMN FINGER OUT FREDDIE.

Sophy says: I love these caps. The close-up of their faces, the way she is smoking and closing her eyes, and he is still, silent, absolutely focused on her.

Rin says: Fffffff it may be because of my recent balloon-face incident but god almighty. Perfect skin is perfect.

Rin says: I see so much of Evangeline Lilly in that first cap. And lol Freddie, stop trying to be cool. You can’t pull it off buddy.

Rin says: So you’re saying I should get a bunch of Effy Stonem’s to follow you around 24/7 to impede on your ability to smoke? I think that’s what you’re saying. *taps nose* I’m on it.

Sophy says: Oh shush. I should have been dead 40,000 years ago, I’m doing fine.

Sophy says: Effy thinks his smoking-fail is cute. And hey, right now she’s smooth enough for them both.

But still… there it is. A chink in her armour. She let’s him see the tiniest bit of her true self, her vulnerability, her need for peace and quiet, her hole that fits his…

“Thanks for letting me in,” she says, and if he’d been on his toes, if he hadn’t been a hopelessly inarticulate, somewhat flummoxed 16 year old boy, he would have said “Same to you.”

Rin says: She looks tiny here. Like she could rival the pocket-sized one right about now.

Sophy says: Cook bursts into the shed and with him, he brings noise.

And JJ.

Rin says: If you cover Cook’s head, he could pass off as a woman.

Sophy says: *covers*

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFff

Sophy says: Cook doesn’t see Effy there, raves on for a while about some skinny asian kid called Anwar and it seems that he may have beaten him up, and as much as I have issues with Cook in this episode, I’m going to have to pat him on the back for that one.

JJ ineffectually tries to tell him Effy is there, and I think to myself ‘Don’t worry, Cookie will get to him too. All in good time.’

Rin says: See! I don’t know why you dislike Cook! He basically does your bidding in the bashing department.

Sophy says: I know. Sometimes I feel so ungrateful when I criticize him.

Sophy says: JJ is all “Welcome to our fortress of solitude!” because apparently he thinks he hasn’t made it clear enough that he is a socially inept geek yet.

It is an apt reference though… Supersponge does live here, after all…

That photo really is splendid. The trio does nothing for me, mostly because it’s so lop-sided – there’s Cook/Freddie and their epic, angst-filled bromance… and the useless part of the group. But still, looking at this photo… I do with they’d taken more care to make JJ’s friendship with the other two real and relevant.

Rin says: I sometimes wonder if you could turn JJ into a dog, and have him be the shared pet of Cook/Freddie. Now think…how much of a difference would it make to the series? It would be so much better because a dog playing a ukulele would have been GROUND-BREAKING.

Sophy says: :OOOO HOLY SHIT AMAZING.

Sophy says: Now that Cook’s spotted Effy he’s decided to get all possessive with her in a way he has never been up to this point. It’s a clear and direct response to her being here in Freddie’s shed, alone with Freddie, to the two of them sharing something he’s not a part of.

He has to put an end to that, and the best way he can think of is to assert his somewhat flimsy prior claim to Effy.

JJ rambles on about how Karen’s costume on Sexxbombs “defies the laws of physics” and I’m facepalming because it’s cliched and unfunny and he needs to shut up. I’m sort of wishing he’d just kept talking when Cook fills a silence with “Her skirt was so short I saw her bumhole wink.”

D:

Rin says: It irks me that he lounges all up in her space. Does Effy look like she wants you there Cook? No.

Sophy says: JJ decides it’s time for some magic tricks. Because that’s his thing.

Rin says: Why do you need all those leaves Naomi? Is there some leaf recycling plant that I don’t know about?

Sophy says: Idk, Rin, idk… I just don’t think she should be encouraging Effy’s sad little crush with this kind of attention…

Rin says: What do you reckon? Apple juice?

Sophy says: If I ever meet Ollie I will ask him immediately. Then I will make him get into character as JJ and publicly apologize for the events of 406.

Sophy says: JJ breathes fire, because it’s the only way he can compete with Cook and his noise and Freddie and his being-fancied-by-Effy.

Rin says: Ollie actually did this, right? That’s pretty impressive. If I tried to do that, I’d burn Bristol down and then they would make a song about it and then the girls would sing it in a canon-version whilst making MDMA brownies. And it would be the best sequence of events ever. *rests head in hands*

Sophy says: ROFL OMG.

Sophy says: LOL OMG THEIR FACES. That Kaya cap is priceless.

Rin says: Hahaahah oh god. Luke.

Sophy says: Everyone is greatly entertained.

I would have been more entertained if JJ had singed his eyebrows off, but oh well. Can’t have everything.

Rin says: Kaya looks like she is about 7ft tall.

Sophy says: Her legs are ridiculous.

Sophy says: Cook has the attention span of a small child, and after he’s had a good laugh and given JJ his praise, he turns to Effy and suggests – in front of everybody because that’s the point – that they go have a shag.

“Are you comin’ Eff? You soon will be.”

Haw, haw, haw. You should take that on the road, Cook.

A road leading to another place, far, far away, perhaps?

Rin says: NO JJ, YOU SHOULD NOT BE TAKING IT AS A COMPLIMENT ANYWAY.

Sophy says: Effy gets all up in his face and tells him she’s not going anywhere near his crayola dick.

Ho hum. The end of this episode begs to differ.

Anyway, what she’s really doing here is making a point. She’s calling him out on the Panda thing because she knows where his dick has been and where the hell does he get off being possessive now? And Cook… Cook doesn’t seem to even catch on.

Rin says: WHATEVS EFFY. EMPTY PROMISES DARLING.

Sophy says: But Freddie catches on. Freddie’s getting his message loud and clear: There’s more going on with Cook and Effy than just that one time on the first day of school.

And if she’s still fucking Cook then why did she come to see him?

It’s confusing and it pisses him off, and Freddie is your typical teenager in that he’s pissed off and confused at the best of times, so when Cook tells Effy to “get to fook” if she’s not going to service him, when she looks at Freddie and at JJ and finally leaves… he thinks maybe he should follow her. So he does. He starts to. Cook tells him to stop and he does as he’s told. He loses his nerve. Because it’s all too much and he doesn’t know what to think, much less do, so he does nothing at all, beyond beating on his punching bag a few times and getting stoned.

Rin says: Cook is being such a Katie 309 right now. And Freddie is being Emily. And Effy is the box of fannies.

Sophy says: Effy wishes she was a box of fannies.

Rin says: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. THAT’S A LOBSTER HANGING IN THE BACKGROUND OF THAT FIRST CAP. MUST MAKE MACRO.

Sophy says: SO LIKE. Where’s the damn macro?

idk, Rin, you’re just a tease, that’s all.

Anyhoo, so Freds spends some quality time with his punching bag…

Sophy says: awww!

Rin says: I LOVE MY BIG PUFFY XANDER!!

Sophy says: awww!

Rin says: Oh my god. It’s like a horror movie.

Rin says: Fuck she’s quick with the wardrobe changes.

Sophy says: aw, poor Mandeh And Freds… all things considered… Keiko probably would have been a better choice for you.

Sophy says: lol, I really feel like Naomi should be popping up and asking if he has someone who takes care of him again.

Sophy says: I love the way this is played. Freddie’s dad is trying to keep things calm and negotiate with his son. He points out that he houses and feeds Freddie and tolerates him smoking weed, which I think he sees as a gold star parenting achievement idk… Anyway, he tells Freddie that he needs to support his sister for him, because it’s the one thing he asks in return. Despite Freddie’s “monged” state, he seems to be responding pretty well to this line of argument… and then Karen starts making faces and giving him the finger behind her dad’s back and it’s all back to square one.

Rin says: Using her rude finger as a compact. Pure win.

Rin says: I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT KAREN. YOU MAKE ME THIS WAY.

Sophy says: I love that you cheated and didn’t pluck Karen like a chicken the way you did the prostitute *hugs*

Rin says: Why does that actually make sense? Perhaps something will come of this…

Rin says: I love this part so much. DACKING pants is just so…sibling-ly. It’s so stupid how she doesn’t just put the damn bowl down and pull her pants up instead of yelling for dad.

Sophy says: bahahahahha oh man. This was so fucking childish. Love.

I also love that during this scene at one point Freddie is trying to explain why he feels the way he does, and he just… can’t. All he gets out is something along the lines of “Because it’s just… it’s… like… fucking hell!” He really has no idea how to express himself at this stage in his young life, how to put his frustration into words… and that just makes it all even more frustrating for him.

Rin says: Oh Freds, I wish I could tell you that things will get better.

Sophy says:

Sophy says: OMG IT’S JOSIE!

And it’s Effy’s collage in 405, the Josie version.

Maybe this is how her breakdown started too! Oh noes!

Rin says: IT HAPPENED BUT IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

Sophy says: When I look at this cap of Emily gazing Naomi’s way all I can think is that somewhere in her locker there is a lunchbox and in that lunchbox there is a brownie and she has big plans for Naomi at recess.

Rin says: Can you imagine them having recess together? I die. Naomi would complain how she only ever gets boring old fruit, and Emily would be the one to share her junk food.

Sophy says: GERALD. Gerald is the best. What’s that Gerald? You’re thanking me for the compliment? No thank you, you’re a delight to watch.

Rin says: You’re going senile aren’t you. I thought we’d get a few more years out of you before this started to happen. Siiiigh.

Sophy says: STFU

Sophy says: Hello Katie! You may as well go practise your thrusting or, idk, wander off into the woods willing yourself not to cry, because Freddie’s episode is going to a big Effy-obsessed jerk and ignore you the whole time. Typical.

And what what what??? Someone got sloppy in the hair and makeup/costuming department and let Lisa pretty herself up!

Sophy says: Josie is bewildered but pleased until Pandora makes it clear she hasn’t done the right reading with a Harry Potter reference that I don’t understand.

Rin says: That’s cause it doesn’t make sense. Ghosts? WHY IS SHE TALKING ABOUT GHOSTS. I don’t care if it is Panda and she’s probably just being Panda, but come on. Don’t let this be the lame excuse of a Harry Potter reference. /freddieshake

Sophy says: The ghost is from Hamlet. Poor Panda. She’s trying, but I guess she just hasn’t realized she’s a genius yet?

Sophy says: Emily points out that she’s gotten her books mixed up again and calls her Panda, which kind of makes me feel warm and fuzzy and as though the bonding that is never going to properly come to fruitition was trying to… fruit.

Rin says: I’ve never read Hamlet. THANKS TO JOSIE AND NAOMI, I feel like I don’t have to.

Sophy says: Philistine.

Sophy says: Fff I love all this. Each cap is the perfect visual representation of teenage attraction – how tense they are, upright and alert and entirely, painfully aware of each other… There’s this sense of indecision about a decision that is well and truly made, this sense of uncertainty and at the same time of inevitability, and it’s so potent that you can practically see the hairs on their arms standing up as they touch, accidentially-on-purpose, of course.

Rin says: Did not experience this in class at my high school.

Sophy says: Aw, you had to wait till uni to experience romance. A thimbleful of it.

Sophy says: Haaands touching haaaands, reaching ouuuuut! I’m prepared to believe that it was purposeful and brilliant foreshadowing that Josie’s pointer is at ‘Madness’ just as Effy reaches out, just as she begins to give in to the idea of loving this boy.

I mean, of course, because love, letting herself feel, is what brings her walls crumbling down and lets the monsters in – or lets them out, or maybe it’s a mix of both. Either way, the way she sees it, love is what makes her mad.

Of course those of you, and I know there are many, who are less than enamoured with the Fredster, might simply be applauding Josie for pointing out that Effy is fucking bonkers for wanting to be with such a clot.

Rin says: Effy really was born backwards if she’s trying to bring those wrist bands back in. Didn’t they die with Madonna?

Sophy says: LOL WHAT DID MADONNA ACTUALLY DIE? Is that why they fawned over her on Glee the other week?

Sophy says: Effy smiles. I think it’s because she’s still trying to pretend this is a game – that she’s playing with love and it is not going to be playing with her. She’s still trying to be the HBIC, the seductress, the same girl who swiped tomato sauce from Cook’s face and said ‘Sweet’, the same girl who made a list and fucked the winner in the nurse’s office for the hell of it.

It won’t work. Freddie doesn’t like games. He doesn’t know how to play and he doesn’t want to learn, and deep down, even if she’s trying to deny it, Effy already knows that about him. She likes that about him. She fears that about him.

Rin says: I love that you totally get the tension Freddie is feeling. That he’s almost frightened. Cause if you move right? You fall.

Sophy says: Oh Piper

Sophy says: ASLKFJLKSJD. So pretty.

A bit miffed this scene didn’t afford us a Naomtrence though.

Rin says: She’s leaning further into frame? I don’t know. Any excuse really.

Sophy says: IT’S OKAY RIN. THIS IS ROPHY TOWN. We don’t need to make excuses.

Rin says: It was over before it started.

Sophy says: Honestly… what possessed him to think he had a shot at this??? Oh right.

The bowl of fruit ~inspired him.

Sophy says: The wink!

Rin says: Naomi Campbell…the matchmaker? WHAT THE FUCK NAOMI, are you like… happy or something? WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?!?!

I remember thinking this episode was indescribably boring and wasted far too much time on the monumentally boring Cook/Effy/Freddie triangle. I still think that; hindsight hasn’t helped things episode any, largely due to the monumental drag factor that is Luke’s acting. Still, the music in the intro sequence is gorgeous.

The BTS thing says that Ollie did the fire stunt, and that Jack, Luke and Kaya didn’t know he was going to (they thought it would be done as a special effect in post-production) – which is why the epic faces are so epic.

After this episode I went off to find out what soggy biscuit was. Then I went off to find something to bleach my brain with.

“She’s here for *Gnomes* I can smell it on her!” WIN. That line is Win. I pulled up the Gnaoms manip from the extra lols section just to complete the visual… oh Sophia. Poor Effy never stood a chance by the time 405 rolled around.

I feel no pity for chief!MANNDDEEHHH… although I do shudder for what her lack of Keiko to keep her occupied will mean for her attempts to split up Naomily… as long as she and Sophia don’t join forces I think we’re good.

Freddie has no chance at being gayest, even if his wardrobe indicates otherwise…. and omg I love how Effy’s eyes get wide as she’s looking at Freddie’s porn. She may not be gayest, but definitely gets runner-up to Naomily.

Yay for this dull episode becoming much more entertaining! (*advances to page 2*)

I love love love the song playing when Effie and Freddie’s arms are touching, please tell me they didn’t change that one in the international dvds. And there I always thought Carla Bruni was only good at being pretty!

Unf I love these so much. Your insights are wonderful and always oh so funny I really hope ya’ll do gen 1 also.

.. I would like to mention though, don’t forget that JJ is socially inept for a really good reason. He has Aspergers. So, while I do agree that he should not have gotten his own episode in s4 and he is rather pointless, his social awkwardness really isn’t his fault.