Thursday, June 9, 2016

Oh My God, Men

“I run the house—handle the cleaning, make the money, plan the vacations, arrange most meals, etc. My wife is a chill ass woman, so a lot of that is just informed by our different personality types. But since I’m the one doing all the work, I think I’ve earned the right to have her take my name.” — Oscar, 31

Arrange the meals? Who cooks them? I have a really hard time believing this fuck does all the cleaning. Also, planning the vacations isn't some kind of work or sacrifice. It sounds like this asshole is just controlling as fuck. He doesn't mention if they have kids but if they do she probably does all the childcare. This guy doesn't deserve shit.

“I’ll tell you this: I’d take my wife’s name in an instant, but only if it meant avoiding that male birth control stuff that plugs up your sperm tubes. That whole process sounds really unpleasant, not to mention untested on a 10-year time horizon.” — Titas, 23

Lmao, nevermind the fact that largely untested birth control shit is constantly pushed on women that does god knows what to our hormones, but it's all on us because god forbid men are uncomfortable or face health risks.

“There’s something so emasculating about the notion of a man washing away his name altogether. The thought makes me uncomfortable, and kind of angry.”— Edgar, 25

At least this one's honest? "Not having all the power makes my cis dude dick feel smaller." - Edgar, 25.

“No way. Rationale? It’s half a biological impulse, and half a contextual thing. Biologically, the word ‘domain’ keeps popping into my head. That sounds misogynistic, I know. But at my core, when all is said and done, I believe that the family is my domain. For instance, in any hypothetical state of emergency, I’m going be the one to sacrifice my life to save my wife and children. I should be the one whose name lives on.” — Raul, 29

No, it doesn't sound misogynistic, Raul. It IS misogynistic, and you're a total prick for suggesting that women wouldn't sacrifice themselves for the ones they love.

“My sense is that on a genetic level women want to marry up and part of marrying up is that they’re buying into a certain kind of—for lack of a better word—dynasty and that means taking a man’s name. For a man to change his name to her name would be to reverse a longstanding sociological phenomenon and I just don’t think a lot of women let alone men actually want that.” — Kyle, 27

Because "we've always done things this way" is the best reason to keep doing things. First we had "domain," now "dynasty." Men need to find a better way to find themselves some self-worth.

“Listen, I’m a feminist. But we have to draw the line somewhere. Equal rights shouldn’t come at the cost of upending all established conventions. Why get married at all if you don’t want to embrace the related traditions?” — Elijah, 27

Sure, draw the line at the straight up patriarchal tradition that destroys the names of women. Good idea.

“I have some friends out west who’ve done the combo last name thing for the baby, and that seems fair. Starting a new lineage is kind of cool. But taking her name? That’s not fair. That’s just l**e. No thanks.” — Ethan, 30

Yeah, no fair, having to give up your name for someone else's. Totally unfair. It's not like women have been doing this for centuries. Dear god men are ridiculous.

They even tracked down a straight up meninist for one of them:

“If hoards of men started taking their wives’ surnames, it would be an unfortunate and perhaps irreversible step towards a matriarchal goddess culture, which blows for guys because those cultures used to routinely kill male infants and treat males like slaves. In a world where there are already very few incentives for men to get legally shackled, this is one slippery slope I wouldn’t want to slide down.” — Ricky, 27