7 Questions: The Infidel

Dr. Wafa Sultan is trying to transform the Muslim world. An exclusive interview.

Dr. Wafa Sultan first made headlines after 9-11, when she spoke out against Islamic world-spawned rumors that the attacks had been perpetrated by Jews and the CIA. Four and a half years later, she sparked more controversy when she appeared on Al Jazeera, where she argued against Samuel P. Huntington’s theory of the ‘Clash of Civilizations’ between the Muslim and Western worlds, and instead painted a picture of the conflict free of cultural relativism, as one of modernity vs. barbarism. Last year, she rocked boats again with the publication of her biography A God Who Hates: The Courageous Woman Who Inflamed the Muslim World Speaks Out Against the Evils of Radical Islam (St. Martin’s Press, 2009).

In 2006, Dr. Sultan was named one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influenial people in the world, for expressing openly critical views on Islamic extremism rarely aired by Muslims. She made it to the front page of the New York Times, and her collection of YouTube videos has been viewed well over a million times.

It has been a lonely and oftentimes terrifying quest. But Dr. Sultan doesn’t look back.

Since the psychiatrist escaped her native Syria for California in 1989 she has made it her life’s work to open the Western world’s eyes to Islamic reality, reeducate the Muslim world, and create a moderate Muslim revolution. This job has cost her her homeland, her relationship with most of her family, and her and her family’s personal security.

It has been a lonely and oftentimes terrifying quest. But Dr. Sultan doesn’t look back. She is proud to have been one of the firsts to speak up and create change in both the Muslim and Western worlds. She takes great comfort in the conviction that she is fighting for truth, for life, and for good over evil.

In an exclusive phone interview from a secret location, she reveals why, against all odds, she is confident that she and those who think like her, will prevail.

Q1. Why did you leave Syria when you did?

I believe that if you give the chance to any Muslim woman or man to leave their country, most of them will not turn it down because of the miserable situation we live in, in all Islamic countries. Our situation is a product of our Islamic teachings, which we are forced to follow, and which are not humane.

My turning point was when the Muslim Brotherhood gunned down my professor.

The very painful turning point for me happened in 1979, when members of the Muslim Brotherhood gunned down my professor at the University of Aleppo Medical School right in front of me. Dr. Yusef al Yusef happened to belong to the same Islamic sect as the Syrian president. As they shot him, they shouted “Allah is great!” At the time I didn’t realize it would eventually lead me to become who I am today, but it pushed me to start asking myself what kind of Allah are we worshipping. One who inspires men to kill.

Of course my account of events has been refuted. Some say it didn’t happen on campus, some say I wasn’t there to see it. Others say it didn’t happen at all. This is the only way these people know how to defend themselves. They have never learned how to challenge, logically, so when something goes against them they say it’s not true, or that somebody else did it. This is their mindset.

Q2. What is the problem with Islam?

For many years after my professor was murdered, I struggled with a deep psychologically conflict about what was behind the evil that day -- Islam itself or bad people who hijacked Islam? It was extremely difficult for me to admit where the problem lay, but I have come to the conclusion that the problem is deeply rooted in Islam. Muslims are victims of their own religion, not the other way around.

The world has to understand that this is the root of the problem. It’s Islam. It’s not fundamentalist Islam. It’s not political Islam. It’s not Wahhabi Islam. It’s not militant Islam. Growing up in Syria I never heard any of these terms. The problem is with Islam itself. It is violent by nature.

If you leave the Koran aside for a moment and look at the life of Mohammad, the role model for every Muslim man, you will see what I mean. In one “heroic” story, the prophet beheads 80 Jewish men, rapes their women and kills their sons and fathers in front of them. Tell me, how can you interpret this story in a humane way? Islamic third graders have been learning that story for the last 1,400 years.

The problem with Islam is that it is lacking a moral code. There are no ethics. The only responsibility a Muslim has is to worship Allah; nothing beyond that. The most important human values are missing here – feeling responsible for and regretting bad deeds. If you don’t take responsibility for your bad deeds, what else is left for human beings to build a good life?

It follows that the problem in Islamic countries is not only with our governments, not only with poverty and lack of education. Islamic societies fundamentally lack ethics. This problem is deeply rooted in Islam. Once you are able to solve the religious part of it, the political part will be easily solved.

Q3. If Islam is a battle against the “infidel,” why are Jews more often the focus of Islamic attack than Christians?

We are raised to hate, to believe that we are only to worship Mohammad and to destroy all people who do not worship Mohammad. We are brainwashed to believe that Islam is going to take over the world. Our major goal – that we learn at a very early age – is to destroy whoever doesn’t believe in Islam, especially Jews.

To answer why Jews in particular, we have to go back to Mohammad’s life. Mohammad taught that you have to keep killing Jews until the judgment day. One legend has it that on judgment day the Jews will try to hide behind anything they can find and everything on earth - rocks, bushes, and hills - will whisper Jews’ locations to the Muslims so they can find and kill them. All things on earth that is, except for a certain type of tree, which will sympathize with the Jews and refuse to give away their hiding places. One Imam on Arabic television told his audience that that is the reason why the Jews in Israel plant so many trees – to hide behind them on judgment day.

My assumption is that during Mohammad’s time the Jews were more stubborn to keep their religion than the Christians. Jews are described in the Koran as more hostile to Islam than Christians. This may be why they are a greater Islamic target.

Q4. How do you hope to change Islamic countries?

I am a well-known writer in the Islamic world, where I am in contact with millions of readers via my website. When I write something that in the West sounds very basic, like why it’s not good to lie, it is very controversial because they have never heard about that before.

The way to change things is through education and exposure to different thoughts.

This kind of basic values education is the number one tool. These people have been prisoners for the last 1,400 years. The only way to change things is to give them the chance to be educated and the freedom to be exposed to different thoughts so they can reach their own conclusions.

For many years, I have criticized Islamic teachings and I feel as though I have created a vacuum for Muslims in the Arab world. Now I am at a stage where I am building a value system to fill this gap. When you take something, you have to replace it with something else. I am teaching my readers basic ethical values: how to say sorry if they do something wrong; how to say thank you; why not to lie; how to be honest with their children; and how to take hatred out of their way of life. I am amazed at the positive responses from my readers.

I would like to enlarge my impact. Just last week I received an email from a university professor in Morocco who is building a civil movement against Islam with is students, and he asked to me to join them, to inspire them.

I also try to lead by example. It is very hard to take the road not traveled. It is human nature to look for the road that has been taken. But when you take the road not traveled it leads you to a place where no one else has been. In taking my journey I have inspired millions of Muslims. I have no doubt that I am making a positive change in the Muslim world. I believe that the seeds I am planting now are going to yield great results three or four generations from now.

Q5. How do you hope to change Western countries?

When I first started I thought I only needed to reeducate my people in the Muslim world and to create a new mentality, clean of hatred. But after I was introduced to the West, I unfortunately found out that the West needed to be reeducated, too.

The West will never defeat Islamic terror without first understanding the Muslim mindset.

I hope to help people in the West understand the Muslim mindset. They will never succeed to defeat Islamic terrorism unless they first understand that mindset. You need to understand your enemy’s values in order to prevail over them. The war against terror has to be fought on an ideological front, as well as a military one. Islam as a political ideology has not been challenged for the last 1,400 years. Western appeasement has given Muslims the message that they are right.

I say that with a broken heart, but you are fighting against someone who is willing to die in order to kill you, so what can you inflict on him? The West is left with only two options – to kill them or be killed.

Already the situation in Europe is terrifying. I don’t feel safe there. Muslims leave their countries looking for positive change in the West, but when they arrive there they don’t feel pressured to change. They are playing two games: living Western lives and telling the West they are ‘moderate’ and for change, while at the same time telling their people back home a different story. In 50 years, I can see more and more Muslims in Europe and in the U.S. And if we lose the West – if we lose America – where else can we go?

Q6. Why is it taking the Western world so long to wake up?

Here in the West, we need to elect people who are willing to challenge Islamic Sharia. It will take political power to stop it. And in order for people to know what kind of leaders to elect, they need to be educated about Islam.

But it’s more than just a lack of education or understanding. There are also conflicting interests. The West needs Saudi oil and in Islamic culture; when you need me, I own you. For the last 30 years, the Saudis have been looking to empower Islam in the West, through the Muslims who live here. Now, the Saudi government is trying to appear more modern and peaceful, but the damage they have caused is done.

At one point, they were offering to pay US$1,000 to any Muslim American who would add ‘Mohammad’ to his name. This was their way to infiltrate Western society.

The Saudi King also has a lot of power in the Islamic world to create change. Everyone in the Muslim world waits to see what the Saudi government will do. And if it’s not in their interests, they don’t do it. They know the West can’t force them because the West needs oil.

It’s a very scary situation. At the same time, I see more people in America waking up. I am almost sure the West will win this ideological war. The question is, at what cost? How may lives will have to be sacrificed?

Q7. How has your life changed?

My life has changed in so many ways over the last 20 years. For starters, we have to move every six months. I have received more death threats from more places in the world than I can count. It’s become a way of life for me. It doesn’t mean I’m not afraid, but I try to overcome my fear and I very much enjoy that process of overcoming.

Due to death threats, we have to move every six months.

Of course I can never again return to Syria, or go to any Islamic country again. It’s heartbreaking because so much of my family is there, and friends, and childhood memories. I would be lying if I said it doesn’t affect me. It’s like when you uproot a tree from its place, it dies. There will always be something missing inside me and I will probably feel that for the rest of my life.

There are other psychological aspects. I don’t consider myself “clean” yet. It’s not easy to clean out who you are and what you were told for the first 5-10 years of your life. It hasn’t been easy to undo the damage that was done. I am still working on it. Living in the U.S. and being exposed to different belief systems and values has helped a lot in that process. I have also been blessed with a good, supportive husband.

I didn’t convert because I don’t believe in any other specific religion. What I believe is that there is some sort of superpower and it’s for good. Whenever I reach a point where I ask myself, ‘why did you do it?’ it is that power that I feel connected to. It’s that source of positive energy that keeps me going. It fills me with the passion and the power to continue.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 38

(38)
Carrie,
July 21, 2011 7:33 PM

You are a brave and noble woman

Wafa I am so proud of you. You have sacrificed everything to tell your story and fight evil. more people are waking up but I am seeing the Muslim Brotherhood in my neighborhood in the form of the Muslim Association of Canada. We must all fight against these groups

(37)
Bonhomme,
April 13, 2010 5:21 PM

Stop giving World Muslims a break

Muslims, as a group, hate Jews and pray for the destruction of Isreal. It is past time for saying things like, "well, not all Muslims are anti-semitic". Let's call a spade a spade. Only then can we form a realistic plan to overcome the destruction planned for Isreal and America. We are at war.

(36)
Pleasant,
April 11, 2010 9:54 PM

Wafa Sultan,

You are truly one of the b'nai el chai!

(35)
Yair,
April 11, 2010 9:47 AM

Very Important

This article is so very important, and very well written- The whole truth and nothing but the truth. I think it should be featured permanently.

(34)
Dulci Duarte,
April 11, 2010 9:18 AM

in response to Dan's April 10th comment:

The well-known incident to which Dr. Sultan refers involved a mass beheading of many hundreds of Jews of all ages and sexual abuse of the women. Read about
a captured Jewish woman, Safiyah Bint Huyeiy Ibn Akhtab http://www.faithfreedom.org/Articles/sina/safiyah.htm
and the bani Qureiza http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/Muhammad/myths-mu-qurayza.htm as related in the Quran and other sources.

(33)
Anonymous,
April 10, 2010 11:18 PM

To Speak the Truth

Dr. Sultan, thank you for your bravery to speak the truth. I was married to a Muslim and I learned, first hand, how it was so easy for him to speak about the peaceful Muslim in public, but I saw the other side and it was terrifying. What they are taught as children is horrific! G-d bless you and keep you.

(32)
Dan,
April 10, 2010 7:37 AM

I'm aware of almost everything

I've been studying Islam and interacting with Muslims for a bit. It's partly true what she is saying but I have never heard of the story of beheading and raping one, nor do I know of anyone who is aware of it.
This is just my opinion but it may not be very wise to depend heavily on changing what the West thinks. The world is much bigger than just the West and there are quite a lot of issues in the Western world for Judaism in general. Though it's not entirely as immediate as stopping violence from militants, I admit.

(31)
Georgia,
April 9, 2010 9:19 PM

Dr. Wafa knows what she's talking about... I believe her

(30)
virginia,
April 9, 2010 7:27 PM

many blessings on you!

Dr. Wada--I deeply honor your commitment to truth and its wisdom. Thank you for speaking from your heart, despite the costs, and for telling the truth in ways it can be received. Your messages will be heard, and change will occur, one heart at a time. Your courage inspires me, especially in the face of adversity; I'm humbled at your dedication to truth, which is light, which is love. You go with God. thank you.

(29)
Kat,
April 9, 2010 5:34 PM

inconvenient truth

Good people are called islamophobe, bigot, racist and fascist because the world prefers politically correct untruths to the inconvenient truth. It is thanks to this myth that telling the truth has become the new hate speech. -Ali Sina
http://formermuslimsunited.americancommunityexchange.org/2010/03/13/exposing-the-myth-of-moderate-islam/
read Nonie Darwish and Brigitte Gabriel

(28)
Kathleen,
April 9, 2010 12:13 AM

Dr. Wafa
You are so brave. May G-d shine his face upon you. I've been picking up Islamic history here and there. I note the Golden Age of Islam ended in the 1500s and not long after, the Ottoman Empire began its centuries' long rule. Did the Ottoman Empire play a part in ending the Golden Age?

(27)
Anonymous,
April 8, 2010 8:37 PM

@12 "For example, the Koran says that at the end of times, distinct communities will be judged "according to their own book." (Qur'an 45:27-29) I'm sure that providing a quote from the Koran will cause people to respond in a negative way; and that is precisely the problem." What you are saying isn't true. The 'own' book mentioned here is not the Torah or Bible, it is each individual's personal book of deed. According to islam, any jew or christian who hears the true message of muhammad and doesn't convert, will go to hell. Just for the sake of clarity! Please before commenting, study qur'aan and tafsir

(26)
,
April 8, 2010 8:03 PM

Wafa's Courage

Currently in the middle of Wafa's incredibly powerful book. Ever since I saw her on Aljazeera I have been completely transfixed on anything she has to say about her history and the history of islam. Having muslim friends of my own, I can attest that what she writes of is true without a doubt.

(25)
Matt,
April 8, 2010 7:04 PM

Telling it like it is

Since when is telling truth slander? Is it the person who criticises (point at the probllems) widening the gap between Islam and ??? or is it Islam who did so because Islam created the beings that do atrocities? When are those who's religion is "X" who promote the old "they are not true "Xians" ... they don't understand "Xism".., etc. going to understand that one must admit a problem in their faith if they want to fix the problem? And when are such in "X's" religion going to even admit that their "true religion" has demons that need fixing?

(24)
Kat,
April 8, 2010 6:00 PM

so much error inthe comments

ADAM--.The article is BY A FORMER MUSLIM about Muslims - it is about THEIR HATE of all non Muslim peoples- so to be clear it is not a JEWISH written article, nor hate by JEWS article- #18-to the Muslim who advocates "change and moderation" of ISLAM should know that is forbidden under ISLAM- gates of Itjhad are closed-BIDAH look it up-- Ms Sultan speaks of it an another lecture- JOEL_ BUY a history book not spout propganda and repeat a MYTH told by Muslims- even the times they suypposedly shelterd JEWS was b/c they made money off you and kept you second class paying for mafia like protection

(23)
,
April 8, 2010 3:36 PM

The evil that is Muhammad`s legacy lives on in the islamic mind, and nothing will change it.
Peter Samfam2.

(22)
Joel Miller,
April 8, 2010 1:31 PM

Nothing to be gained by slandering Islam

I think articles like these are a mistake. There is nothing to be gained by slandering Islam. For most of our history, Jews and Muslims lived and worked together without problems. The Torah is the path of peace, I don't think the characterizations of Islam are true for most moslems and restating them certainly does nothing to bring more peace and kindness into the world.

(21)
TD,
April 8, 2010 12:31 PM

"Rocks & trees will cry out ,"There is a Jew behind me"...

Even most Muslim's don't know that this "theology"is from PRE-Islam when they believed in spirits inhabiting rocks & trees,or JIN (Genies).
We need to learn the truth about the pagan origin of this religion.
Google:Allah moon god

(20)
Anonymous,
April 8, 2010 10:39 AM

I'm in awe regarding this woman's courage !!

(19)
miriam,
April 8, 2010 10:32 AM

WHAT A COURAGES WOMEN.
GOD BLESS YOU.

(18)
mohammad,
April 8, 2010 8:22 AM

Dear jewish brothers and sisters

I a moslem who loves Jews and Christians. Dr. Sultan is widing the gap between moslems and jews by her ignorance about islam and judaisim. islam suffers what judaism and christianity suffered in the past and needs to be changed. the majoriy of mosles are still orthodox and have nothing to segregagte them from other orthodox of other religions. Prograssive moslems are figfhting now for prograssive islam exactly as happend in judaisim and Christianity. Moslems need believers of God of the Torah to help them be changed into better. They don't need Dr. Wafa Sultan who believes in an unknown god. the essence of islam and it's spirtuality is the same in Judaism. Go ask the Rambam.

(17)
K. Woo,
April 8, 2010 5:55 AM

Thank you so much for what you are doing,

for your courage to do what is right. God bless you.

(16)
rd,
April 8, 2010 1:29 AM

please explain how to talk to western muslims who disagree

many muslims in america will read sujltan and say she is simply wrong. that they are muslim and live peaceful, ethical livees.
i hope dr sultan will address how to speak to these people.

(15)
Shifra,
April 8, 2010 1:20 AM

we DON'T need Saudi oil!

it's about time we use our own resources. this country has ample resources that we are not exploiting,
the time is long overdue!

(14)
t.,
April 7, 2010 11:33 PM

What a women!!! May God Bless Her.

What a woman!!! May God Bless Her.

(13)
Anonymous,
April 7, 2010 11:14 PM

ONE POINT FROM ME ISn't written in koran that BENI ISRAEL ARE THE CHOSEN PEOPLE WHY DO THEY HATE JEWS. SURAT EL BAKARA

(12)
Adam Levey,
April 7, 2010 10:24 PM

Disappointing!

Aish.com prides itself as "The Jewish Website." Therefore, the articles on it's website stand as a representation of the Jewish people as a whole. This article is not Judaism. What makes Judaism different from every single other religion is that it doesn't bash other religions. We don't brag about how our religion is moral and right and how all the others are immoral and wrong. Indeed, we are one of the only religions which are not looking to actively convert "non-believers."
When I logged onto Aish today, and I saw THIS as the featured story, I was in disbelief. Since when does Judaism advocate hatred? Why is this the main story? Sure, perhaps Islam has some flaws, but why are you featuring a story with a woman who downright attacks Islam as a whole?
There is no need for this superfluous and impolite assault on another religion. You can point out bad things about Islam, sure, but if you read the Koran, you'll also find some beautiful things too. For example, the Koran says that at the end of times, distinct communities will be judged "according to their own book." (Qur'an 45:27-29)
I'm sure that providing a quote from the Koran will cause people to respond in a negative way; and that is precisely the problem. Judaism has become hateful towards Islam and we refuse to admit it is a problem. I DO NOT wish to give credibility to Islam. I just think it is wrong for the Jews, as a people, to be verbally attacking other religions. We are a religion and a people of peace. Let's not descend to the level of those in other religions who feel the need to attack others.
We wonder why anti-semitism seems to be so prevalent among many Muslim countries. Will trying to prove that Islam is a nation of violence help stop this? Will vocally attacking them be any help in stopping this?
Aish, I'm disappointed. Don't hate on other religions; It's not nice and it's not Jewish.

(11)
Anonymous,
April 7, 2010 8:28 PM

The Torah: The Foundation that's Rock Solid & Unshakeable

Those who obtain truth has an obligation and calling to speak out. Everyone has been taught something growing up that was not the truth or only a half truth. Or it was taught to you as a child, and when we grow up, put away childess thinking. NO person is accountable for what religion someone was born into,or no religion at all. We have no choice on that, we will be raised as our Parents sees fit. When we reach the age of accountablity than we are to seek God for ourselves, and discover what God means to us. The popular thinking that's out there doesn't mean it's the right thinking. Usually if it's popular, people have just accepted that way of thinking without thinking which accounts for a majority of people thinking it, which makes it called popular thinking. Jews have been adapting to different cultures for thousands of years, hopefully not conforming, but we have many times blended by conforming in thoughts and activities that we know is against the Torah. One problem is we may not know the Torah and how it applies to our everyday lives, by our thoughts and activities. The solution is to start reading it to find out. Prayer and scriptures should be our main source. It's our safeguard into any false teaching. When we discover something or someone is false, we need to withdraw ourselves from them completely. That action will speak louder than words and then walk in the truth that has been given you. They may require why you don't do what you use to, then you have the opportunity to speak the truth you have learned, and they did ask, and voluntarily you answer. The Torah is sound in teaching, and morally correct. Grace misunderstood, causes evil to abound. The Torah puts it out there plain and simple, not given to misunderstanding. If someone doesn't like the Ten Commandments,it's because it convicts them of their wrong doing and the wrong doing of their friends. It holds people accountable for their actions, that is or is not acceptable morals

(10)
Rob,
April 7, 2010 6:04 PM

Not the Full Story

While I am not a Muslim, and do have my share of intellectual and moral issues with Islam, I find it hard to consider this interview with Dr. Sultan to be providing a balanced, meaningful detailed depiction of the subject. For one, the reference to Muhammed executing Jews, I presume the Banu Qarayza, has been presented by Islamic apologists as punishment for those who were accused of treason, put on trial, and found guilty of some of the charges. And is Judaic material like Bamidbar 31 really so morally superior here? There's not even a trial, so far as I can tell, in that perek. Also, I have travelled to almost every Islamic nation stretching from Sudan through Pakistan. They certainly have their faults, but all of them have treated me with true hospitality and respect, including very religious Muslims who clearly had any number of political and religious differences from me. To say that these countries are devoid of ethics is an inaccurate generalization. If that were so, I would have been robbed, beaten and killed by now.

(9)
Victor Hafichuk,
April 7, 2010 5:47 PM

God nonpartisan

I thank God He is not sectarian or partisan. He is God of all. Even as He used a non-Jew, Cyrus of Persia to help the Jews return after captivity to rebuild the Temple, so one does not have to be any race, sect or religion to be used of Him to bring good to this world. Wafa Sultan is an instrument in His hands. May He strengthen, bless and protect her and her family, and may she come to know Him, according to His will.

(8)
,
April 7, 2010 5:33 PM

Seperation of religion and state

Religion should be peaceful and be a hobby that takes a backseat to our everyday lives. Our first priority should be functioning peacefully and effectively as a global society and religion doesn't have to interfere with goal, and should not interfere with that goal.

(7)
Kat,
April 7, 2010 4:36 PM

a true heroine for our times

Thank you Dr Sultan- I have been a fan of yours for a long time- you are a brave and honest messenger of the truth- I have been threatened and called names for saying truth about ISLAM too, not to compare, as my speaking was anonymous on internet- but for MUSLIM woman to say the same makes it so much more powerful to Muslims- I too hope and pray my fellow Jews & Americans will wake up and smell the Jihad on USA- it is, and has been working here for many years now to undermine our way of life- It broke my heart to see this adminisitration get into power, so anti-Israel, so pro-Muslim, so appeasing to our enemies and nothing being done about the Jihad within. May Hashem bless and protect you from harm.

(6)
Dvirah,
April 7, 2010 3:43 PM

Moral Codes

Judaism is intrisically more ethically-based and emphasizes ethics in daily life more than any other religion I have so far encountered, including Christianity. This could explain, to some extent, why it is more targeted by Islam, just as it was by the Nazis. (Contradictorily, it also allows its practitioners a greater amount of freedom - to think and choose - than most religions. That also can be a cause of envy.)

(5)
Charly,
April 7, 2010 3:16 PM

Incredibly brave

Thank you you are very brave, and speak of a justice that has been kept under a bushel for too long.

(4)
Anonymous,
April 7, 2010 9:28 AM

thank you Dr Sultan

You are a very brave woman and I am sure that the truth will one day prevail. To see someone fight for what one believes in the face of such danger leaves me totally humbled.

(3)
Joshua,
April 6, 2010 10:36 PM

I have seen here speak and she is quite an amazing person to listen to. When watching her debate it does awaken one's senses to how the Muslim world thinks. Many write her off because she is a radical that does not fall in line with the "norm" in the middle east. Other discount her because she is a woman. She speaks quite well in English and is rather elegant when speaking Arabic. A lot can be learned from this woman.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!