Graveland wrote:
Do what any decent gentleman would have done: offer to smear your cock in Vaseline and fuck his gut tires. You could then empty your nuts into his belly button, then pull out a bag of Doritos and share the salty dip together.

In all fairness, after reading that i can tell that this is a guy who can make the best out of any situation. No matter how grim.
That's a trait to be admired in my book.