Well, another NaBloPoMo has come and gone. I managed to do a post every day this month, so I win NaBloPoMo this year, or something. Sure, most of what I posted was complete and utter nonsense, but, whatever, there’s no reason you have to read it, so bleh.

I haven’t participated in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), an event every November where you post every day for the entire month, in a few years. I near-completely lost interest in NaBloPoMo when it was taken over by BlogHer, a blogging platform for women (duh), and not just because the transition to BlogHer scared most of the men off, but because BlogHer is a cruddy, cruddy website.

Here, have some reasons why I hate BlogHer:

First and foremost, BlogHer is exploitative. Most of the posts on the website are written by unpaid community members, while the website is riddled with ads. Community members provide them with content for free, which brings them pageviews and ad impressions, and in return they get, I don’t know, a sense of community or something? You can join a community on BlogSpot or Tumblr and both of those services allow you to put your own ads on your blog, so that you can get paid for your writing.

BlogHer puts outbound links in frames, placing their branding and ads on unaffiliated websites without their consent. This is just plain rude and frames went out of style in the 90s anyway.

The current BlogHer website features a tessellated layout and infinite scroll. I’ll probably do a long rant on why I hate these two design trends at a future date, but basically, they screw up navigation and reading comprehension.

Their post editor sucks badly.

Their name is a stupid pun.

Now, don’t construe this as me being against women having their own safe space for expressing their opinions. I just think that it’s best that such a place doesn’t exploit their talents for monetary gain. When you’re a writer, never work for exposure, or on spec.

So, yeah, this is probably the last you’ll hear about BlogHer from me, because I’m taking NaBloPoMo back from its massive corporate interests for the little guy, or something, I don’t know.

Jennifer Tilly is a poker player and I’m pretty sure that she’s been Botoxed to Hell and back. Her face is frozen, so she doesn’t have to make any effort to maintain a poker face. Why isn’t Botox considered a performance enhancing drug in poker? Also, you shouldn’t be allowed to get plastic surgery on your face and be a professional poker player.

Seriously, I was trying to better myself by learning something new, and I know a lot of guitar nerds, but no one could give me a good recommendation for an awesome double guitar. Sometimes I doubt the rock credentials of some of these people. JEEZ.

For a while, Facebook wouldn’t allow you to list “civil union” or “domestic partnership” as your relationship status. To this day, I don’t think that they allow any type of polyamorous relation to be listed, not with more than one person listed in the partnership at least.

I had to call someone up to get them to tell a computer to do something. Why couldn't I just talk to the computer directly?

My bank makes you call in for just about every little change to an account. They always try to upsell you on junk you don’t need and half the time they don’t seem to understand what it is that you’re asking for.

Who eats these individually wrapped pickles that I keep seeing in gas stations here?

Is this some sort of covert drug paraphernalia thing? Sometimes it’s only a quarter pickle slice type of deal.What kind of a person goes into a gas station and buys a part of a pickle? It’s just weird.

What is with people that put so many cracker in their soup that it’s not really soup anymore? I think they just really want an excuse to eat crackers. My patented cracker-flavoured spread is the ultimate solution for them.

Where does "teehee" come from? It's impossible to make a "t" noise while laughing.