What It’s like to Go to A Night Club in SF The Night After Marriage Equality Passes (And Ruby Rose Is DJing)

You will realize that Ruby Rose is just as drop dead gorgeous in real life

After careful observation you conclude that it was her cheekbones that cut heternormativity in half.

Also she’s unexpectedly tiny. You could probably pick her up and spin her around dramatically while making out without ever having worked out before.

She’s wearing a shirt that has TWINK emblazoned across it in bold black letters. You realize the accuracy of this statement because earlier in the evening you mistook a skinny, buzzcut teenage boy for her .

The venue will be 90% hot queer 20 something women.

That is the perfect demographic.

Someone in that room got married that evening.

You will spend 50% of your time staring at Ruby Rose, 20% dancing rapturously, and the other 30% trying to figure out of the hottie next to you is dating the girl she’s dancing with or they are just good friends. You will never figure it out.

At some point in the night you will guilty steal away to the other rooms to listen to other DJs because Ruby Rose is liiiitle bit top 40 for your taste.

The men’s bathroom becomes gender neutral.

A slightly older more moneyed woman offers you ten dollars to cut the bathroom line, you sell out everyone behind you without hesitation and go buy yourself another drink.

Ruby Rose will lift her arms up to the sky, like an ancient goddess and a 500+ voices will scream in unison.

Ruby Rose has way less chill than expected, she looked so damn excited about everyone being excited to see her.

But actually the DJ in the room next store is way better so this is awkward.

Ruby Rose has the biggest phone in the world, it’s huge. I don’t know if this a metaphor for anything.

You consider proposing to someone just because.

Someone retweets a photo of the White House lit up in rainbows and you tear up just a tiny bit.

You buy yourself another drink and toast to Ruby Rose, and to yourself and to love and equality, and then to Ruby Rose again.

You leave (with a sober driver) and realize even though it’s only two minutes past, you already have a parking ticket.