Funny Love Quotes And Sayings

Humorous quotes about love

Funny love quotes recognize the reality that though men and women can’t live without each other, there’s certainly times when they’d like to give it a try!

Happy together one minute and ready to drive their car off a cliff the next, couples know that love and marriage are frequently institutions that go together like oil and water. A man yearns for a woman to understand that no doesn’t mean maybe, while females hope men will realize the answer is always no when they ask if something makes them appear fat.

Was the argument about the male spending $3 at a convenience store for a 50-cent can of soup, or the female buying a dress for $200 that she could have purchased for $20 at a thrift store? Or was there a dispute about the question that has plagued couples for decades – whether to leave the toilet seat up or down?

Through it all, though, people in love know that love quotes mock the battles and missteps fought in the living room, only for a peace treaty that is always negotiated in the bedroom.

Lovers understand the truce that follows the constant miscommunications and misunderstandings between two people of the opposite sex is like a fierce rain that eventually ends with a rainbow and those expressions can be found in funny love quotes.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen

Love is blind — marriage is the eye-opener.

Pauline Thomason

The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in.

Unknown

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

Scottish Proverb

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Unknown

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!

Unknown

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.

Melanie Griffith

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,"How about the kitchen?"

Unknown

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

Woody Allen

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

George Burns

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Unknown

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Unknown

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.

Unknown

I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

Ashleigh Brilliant

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.