Checking in....

I have been very up and very down, and I'm afraid to jinx it but I think things might be getting okay now. I have come very close to ending my life in the last few months

I was very fortunate to have a friend able to help me out with my rent and prevent me from being evicted. I found a place to live that is half the price of where I have been staying at.

My birthday happened and the only person who remembered was the friend who helped me out with the rent. I was sad at first but then I realized that if I'd killed myself I would have missed out knowing what a good friend he is, and feeling the happiness that I felt when he remembered my birthday. Even my mother forgot my birthday.

The weather changed here in Texas around my birthday and the air was cool and crisp as I was walking to my car one day and I realized if I had killed myself I would have missed this beautiful Texas Autumn weather. Of course it turned 90 degrees again the next day but I would have missed that one beautiful day.

I'm hanging in there, things have been to every single extreme I can imagine in the last 2 years. I have actually been $1.50 away from being broke and homeles with no gas to put in my car. I used that dollar fifty to put enough gas to get in my car to get to work on payday to get my check. There was no money for food and my lights were about to be turned off.