Friday, September 16, 2016

History: The Year is 1872

The First Female Presidential Candidate is NOT a Witch -- She is a serious candidate but they try to smear her. They have a lot of good material so I talk about past smearing of women in politics.

Surprise! John Wilkes Booth Gets Married -- There is a marriage certificate. DNA evidence is available but no one is willing to check.

In Other News -- The secret ballot, Yellowstone Park and Popular Science magazine.

The First Female Presidential Candidate is NOT a Witch

She is also not a prostitute, not a man, and not a lesbian. Victoria
Woodhull is a suffragette and despite any criticism she might receive in
the modern day, she is a serious candidate. Given the obvious
corruption of the U.S. Grant Administration and the inept campaign of
the Democrat's candidate, Horace Greeley, just about anyone stands a
chance at the presidency. Woodhull is a newspaper editor and successful
stockbroker at a time when women are not allowed to trade in the stock
exchange. Luckily for women, one is not required to use the stock
exchange to exchange stocks, and she contracts with men who can make the
trades for her where she is prohibited. Commodore Vanderbilt is one of
her clients, and he has made millions following her advice, so she is a
contender. Woodhull is running under the Equal Rights Party and they
nominate Frederick Douglass (the popular author and ex-slave) as her
vice-presidential running mate. This is news to him, but he doesn't
disavow the nomination, and he is member of the electoral college for
New York so it's official. Since newspapers are often used as political
instruments, having Woodhull as a newspaper editor is not a problem, but
a few days before the election, Federal marshals arrest her for
publishing an obscene newspaper. Months later she is acquitted, but the
damage is done. She will try for the presidential nomination again in 1884, but controversies surrounding her messy divorce will cause the suffragettes to distance themselves from her. [1]

My Take by Alex ShruggedWoodhull
was not a witch. She was a medium. With so many dead after the War
Between the States, surviving relatives were in despair, so there was a
market for mediums who could contact the dead. Woodhull was also a
hypnotist, so her work as a medium might be considered therapeutic.
Nowadays, there is a popular TV show called Long Island Medium. I
doubt it is real but she seems to think she is helping people. Fine.
She is not asking me to participate, and lots of people pray to their
dead relatives or dead saints. It is so common that the practice is
usually ignored... unless you are a politician. Then if you drop to your
knees and pray to God for strength you are labelled a nut. First Lady
Nancy Reagan consulted her horoscope because of her concern for her
husband's safety. It seemed a little foolish, but harmless. When
Christine O'Donnell was running for the Senate a video of her younger
self showed her declaring herself to be a witch. It seemed like a kid's
joke to me, but the controversy overwhelmed her campaign so that she
produced an ad beginning with "I am not a witch". ([Click Here])
Her denial did more damage to her campaign than if she had said, "Heck
yeah! I'm a witch! Kiss my backside, you jerks!" The other controversy
with Victoria Woodhull seems almost trivial. She was 34 years old. Her
birthday fell a few days before inauguration so if she had won, she
would have been 35 when she took the oath of office. At the time no one
cared, but apparently modern historians care now. The issues for female
candidates are not tougher... just different. At least she had no
missing emails to worry about. [2][3][4][5][6]

Surprise! John Wilkes Booth Gets Married

And I didn't send a card. Since the assassination of President
Abraham Lincoln, a number of conspiracy theories have cropped up
concerning the final arrangements for his assassin, John Wilkes Booth.
He was supposedly killed in a shootout a few days later, but there was a
witness who told federal officials that Booth was NOT in the barn
before they started shooting it full of holes. The body they dragged out
had the wrong hair color, and bore a strong resemblance to James W.
Boyd, a Confederate soldier who disappeared around the same time. A
quick investigation followed and the body was expertly identified as
that of John Wilkes Booth. Then the body was dumped in the river so it
would not become a rallying point. It was sort of like dumping Osama bin
Laden's body in the ocean, only the public actually saw a body dumped
in the river. Case closed. Right? Well, the body was never identified by
his relatives. In fact, they were excluded from ever seeing the body.
Testimony from the coroner's children years later, indicates that a lot
of pressure was put on the doctors to identify the body of Booth as
quickly as possible, probably to quell any controversy. But the
controversy simply expanded. The only solid proof (if that is what you
want to call it) occurs this year when someone in Tennessee named John
St. Helen marries a woman named Louisa Payne. He admits to her that St.
Helen is not his real name. He is really John Wilkes Booth. Louisa is
horrified! But not by the fact that he is an evil assassin. She is
horrified that she has married a man under a false name! She drags him
back to the courthouse and makes him marry her again under his correct
name, and that is how we know that Booth got away alive.
[7]

My Take by Alex ShruggedIs
any of this true? The marriage certificate exists. Whether it is really
Booth or another man with the same name or simply John St. Helen
pulling the wool over his new wife's eyes for the thrill of it, is
anyone's guess. However, there is a means of determining part of the
truth. There is a sample of Booth's DNA in the form of bones kept from
the original autopsy. They are stored (but not displayed) at a museum.
His brother lies in the grave. If the DNA of those two closely match, as
they should, then John St. Helen is a fraud and all of this speculation
is simple silliness. They still haven't checked, though, so the
controversy rages on. There is speculation that Booth's body was
mummified and placed on display at the circus. In fact a circus did
claim they had his body, but it has long since disappeared. Maybe some
day we will know for sure, but I'm fairly sure he is dead by now. Yeah.
Fairly sure. [8]

In Other News

The UK now has a secret ballot. IT'S THE LAW!
Before this time, factory owners would helpfully review their employee's
ballot to make sure they were voting correctly. Now all they can do is
check the bumper stickers on our cars. I brake for unicorns. [9][10]

Yellowstone is dedicated as the first national park.
The area spans the Montana and Wyoming territories. Over 2 million
acres is set aside as a park for the enjoyment of the nation's citizens.
But there is going to be a war with the Indians north of there, so
don't pack up your RV just yet. [11]

Popular Science Magazine begins publication.
They are currently reprinting articles from English journals from such
distinguished scientists and philosophers as Charles Darwin and Herbert
Spencer. I read a great article from 1872 on how schools are making our
kids stupid. Ah... it never ends. [12]