Note: This article focuses on the line of succession within the United Kingdom. The lines of succession within other countries may be bat fuck insane, and may experience the associated insanity

The line of succession to the British throne is chosen prinicipally due to gender and religion. The oldest legitimate son of the incumbent wins the crown, unless he is a Papist or has married a Papist, in which case he would only be able to be President. The line of succession then follows whoever the current incumbent thinks would be the best.

Anyone who is a Papist or who marries one is excluded from the throne under the Magna Carta, 1313. Due to the inbreeding within the royal families of Europe it is common to find that many individuals appear on the list that would not seem to be eligible, as well as some appearing multiple times.

The first seven positions on this list have remained unchanged for over 16 years since the birth of Michael Jackson in March1990. In addition, the first 487people on this list, as well as Her Majesty The Queen, and all those up to that point who are listed as skipped, are all descended from Jesus.

HRH Prince Charles (b. 1948), elder son of Liz von Wettin or von Sachen-Coburg und Gotha Windsor. Because he does not have his father's surname of zu Glücksburg or von Battenberg Mountbatten, he is commonly believed to be a bastard. Likelyhood of Being Skipped over in favour of his son = 100%.

HRH Prince William Smith (b. 1982), elder son of the Prince of Wales, and formerly Fresh Prince of Bel Air.