Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Upon leaving a meeting recently at a giant office building, I stopped to use the ladies room. Inside I spotted a sign asking the dames not to flush certain womanly products down the commode. My thought was straight and to the point as in, Who the ---- is old enough to be in this office building yet unaware of this piece of information?

When you are a young girl, the message of not flushing feminine products is reiterated to you in the neighborhood of 10,000 times at both your school and your home. Obviously someone skipped that stage of training, or posted signage would not be necessary.

I also recently saw a sign on a company break room fridge reading: Please check to see if your name is on the food you remove so you are not removing something that is not yours.

Do you know my secret trick for knowing what is mine or not without putting my name on it? It is called MEMORY. And when I have no memory of placing something in the communal fridge, I don't grab it and hope for the best.

And there is a new sign on one of the offices on my floor declaring it the "Lactation Room." Except no one knows who recently gave birth and is lactating. Frequently the sign is overturned to reveal "Lactation Room in Use" yet our staff is highly familiar with one another to the point one would easily know who has given birth. Let's call it what it is. Not Lactation Room but I Like To Have a Bit of a Catnap Throughout the Day. Codename: Lactation.

I always laugh when I see signs like that and wonder who in the world would need them. Then I remember that they wouldn't post it unless someone had broken the unspoken rules. That sign is hilarious!!!

I saw a book once that was full of pictures and stories about strange notes. MANY pages were devoted to signs left on office fridges and coffee makers. Apparently lots of ppl steal lunches and burn coffeepots. It made for a funny book!

The fridge sign is a must. I worked with a woman who was the president's assistant & he'd tell her to grab something out of the fridge. She'd do it not thinking anything of it, but it would not belong to him.

He would see it earlier in the day and think "I pay these people, I own them and their food in the fridge".

I love ridiculous signs, and I was actually just lamenting the other day the thing about feminine products when a large group of us (all female Marine Officers and college graduates) were verbally warned not to flush feminine products on a ship. Ridiculous.

Seriously, have you ever been to Walmart or any other store and there's an idiot parked in the Fire Zone No Parking spots? There's red lines, people! No parking! And it especially annoys me when it's old people or new mothers. There are handicapped spots for those who need it and, c'mon moms, we've all had to drag that little carrier through the parking lot - it's not that bad. I understand dropping people off at the front door, but I can't stand when people just sit there for 5 minutes while you're waiting to move behind them either.

I've seen a similar toilet sign elsewhere. I'm not sure which I find funnier ,the thought that someone might drink from the toilet, or the thought that the sign means no puking in the toilet and thinks that someone, upon running into the toilet mid-vomit is going to have the calmness and awareness to stop and read the sign!

I used to carry a street sign I stole that had my name (Adams)on it, and every time someone asked me to sign something (like at the bank or a cashier or an autograph seeker or a deaf person), I would pull it out and bash them in the head with it and scream "THERE! IT'S SIGNED!"

One my favorite signs was one I frequently saw when we lived in Germany. Since the Rhine river bisected the city we lived in people often took the ferry across from one side to the other, including with their cars. The sign showed you how NOT to park so your car would fall into the river while you waited for the ferry. I laughed every single time. But like they say, there wouldn't be a sign if someone hadn't done it.

Oh, I'm with you 100% on this. Political correctness in conjunction with the litigation culture seems to have conspired to enable anyone to sue if they thought it was Tuesday and there isn't a sign to tell them it's really Monday (or whatever). Life is getting stranger all the time.

You and I both know that these signs are needed because someone, somewhere once went fishing in a urinal, thought he caught something, somehow drowned in the bowl and there was a massive litigation, punitive damages, and now it must be on a sign.

HA! Unfortunately our urban landscape is plastered with these rudimentary messages because at this point in time we are still needlessly forced to share public spaces with selfish asshats.Once the virtual Matrix is up and running all sign companies will go out of business.

The lactating room is the ideal location for engaging in vigorous workplace "Nooners", getting a "raise" from the boss, and when you need to a little sumpin'-sumpin' to stay late and close the deal, it's a good spot for purchasing uppers from the courier with the fauxhawk.

How about the people that put up signs in their homes...please take your shoes off...please close the door....hang coat here.....save a tree there. Control freaks! Then again, I think that a lot of men need to be told how to pee in a civilized manner.

Crap like that reduces us to kiddos. Of course I did just throw a tantrum the other night when I wanted the hubs to go get me some chocolate. But that was more PMS induced though. I'm not immature at ALL. ah ha ha

The really sad thing is some people actually NEED these signs. Or simple instructions, like on a hair dryer: "Do not use while sleeping" and the other sad part is, it's there because someone probably sued them for not mentioning it before.

Thanks for your kind comment on my blog. This post made me laugh so hard, it reminded me of the Friends episode where someone eats Ross's sandwich at work and he gets the nickname 'Mental Gellar' or something like that. LOL!

*sigh* After seven years of working in the customer service industry, I now know why there are labels on packets of nuts saying 'Warning! This product may contain nuts'

The stupidity of some people really is amazing, no? We had a sign on the door at my old job that said-"pull handle to open door." Seriously-that's what it said. I got angry every time I saw it cuz it was so stupid!

I worked at a place once that had a "quiet room" where you could go on your breaks. It had a sofa, lots of big pillows, an exercise ball, CD player with a choice of relaxing CDs and so on. It was prioritized for breast pumping, with appropriate signage. The ENTIRE time I worked there, there was a new mom that shared my shift and break schedule and used it to pump. Made me SO sad, I got all of one nap in that room.

And no, it wasn't a great job; it was a TERRIBLE job and that was part of their desperate attempt to reduce turnover. I lasted 8 months. :)

My favorite signs are the Chinese signs that are translated into English!!

I have decided the Lactation room is now the sex room not the nap room... but either would work... It could be like in Harry Potter with the Room of Requirements how cool would that be..... Also your co workers should not be having sex at work......

My husband is a plumber and I could tell you some funny stories, one is a family that was so rich he went to unclog their toilet and there was a nice iphone in it, they didnt even know it was missing!how does this happen? no not the phone getting in the lines but how they didnt know it was missing? hmmmmyou crack me up

Almost laughed my tea out of my mouth. So funny sweetie! I guess we really do need signs to tell us what to do. Can you imagine if their weren't any toilet signs? What would our lives come to....Love your inner thoughts and blog. Let me know if you want to guest post anytime!

I love laughing at stupid signs. I used to collect those airline safety instruction cards b/c I thought the illustrations were so funny.And just when you think who would be dumb enough to need these signs, there is that one jack ass who just doesn't get it.

There used to be a proper official road sign on the street near my office in Manhattan that said "Don't even THINK of parking here". Those were the exact words. I laughed every time I saw it. And even though I never parked there I often thought about it just because it said not to.

I always hated when some sanctimonious idiot in the office would put hand written signs on the toilet doors saying something like "Come on ladies, we're all adults here, let's not forget to flush down our little friends after we're done!" in a passive aggressive smug manner. I used to want to deface those signs. I'd have more respect if someone just said "FOR F*CK'S SAKE FLUSH YOUR SH*T, YOU F*CKERS".

Where I live there is an old law that states that you are prohibited from bringing a lion to the movies within city limits. I would just LOVE to know who brought a lion to the movies and what result came from it that caused such a rule to be written.

As a person who is consistently asked to post signs at work (the joy of being head of Human Resources in a small business) which reiterate the obvious, I can attest that I see too many idiots who need the signs on a regular basis. What's more sad is that the signs don't usually work for the people they are intended to change. They just cause other people to do exactly what the sign says NOT to out of rebellion.

So I DID burst out in a fit of giggles at that "how-not-to-use-a-urinal" sign.

I think the proliferation of signs is because people are so damn (pardon my language) non-confrontational. They're always terrified they'll hurt someone's feelings, so they use a sign instead to say what they need to say. I'm even guilty of it at times, myself!

Crap, I'm pretty sure I've done every single position in that bathroom sign. I must be another reason for signs.

(I do write my name on my frozen meals at work because we all by the same kind, one day I come in to get one and see it in the trash with my name written in BOLD right there! I don't think any sign is "Stupid Person" proof.)

I used to work for a cpa firm in the tax division. There was a large sign on the fridge: mark your lunches, don't take what isn't yours...several of us had items stolen on a regular basis. Someone even put a mousetrap in their lunch sack. 6 months later 'the thief' who just happened to be one of the partners, was busted.

There are many people that have a sense of entitlement. Sign or not, they can't be bothered with courteous behavior

Every time I see a "no-brainer" sign or warning on a label I think someone must have actually done something this stupid before and they felt the need to cover their ass with a sign for future stupidity

Signage for those things we think as common sense crack me up. I am sure they are other places too, over the past 6 years, the most public rest rooms in one place I have visited was in Disney World, and all of the rest rooms have signs instructing you on how to wash your hands! LOL, they were all sponsored by one of the paper towel companies!

That bathroom sign reminds me of others I have seen from Japan. Japan seems too have such a weird sense of humor...I think I want to live there.And I could go on for days on how nasty women can be! When I was in Boot Camp, there were many times that I had to clean the head and had to get rid of non-flushable used (*shudder*) feminine products...urp. So...gross.