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SPARK OF MADNESS

I sat in the same living room as Hasty. Well, not the same living room, but you know what I mean. I have no words today. I’ve just been punched in the stomach by this, because I grew up with this man. Hasty echoes my fear that if Robin Williams, who got to spend the better part of his life doing what he loved; what he was GOOD AT — a lucky, charmed life, some might say — if he could succumb, then what chance do I have? Me, who drudges through the daily grind wishing, hoping, dreaming that I could be anywhere but here? I’m afraid. And sad. And brokenhearted. I’ll be logging off today. I can’t really bring myself to spend the whole day talking about this or crying about this, or reading about this. Robin’s family is going through so much right now, and all of you are, too. I’ve read anger, disappointment, sympathy, apathy, blame, condemnation, understanding, hatred, love, nostalgic reminiscences — all of this is part of the grieving process. Please understand that suicides aren’t (usually) trying to hurt those around them. You can’t paint all with the same brush. Are some suicides selfish? Absolutely. But more often than not, it is to ease the person’s own suffering, and ease the burden they feel they’re putting on others. We do this to ourselves, this loneliness. I am a lonely person sometimes, and I do it to myself, and that’s what really hurts. Just reach out. Smile at a friend. Smile at a stranger. Say hello. Go against all our anti-social training and make a stranger smile. We (here I am admitting I am weak and needy) need those of you who don’t experience this social anxiety, this utter uncontrollable self-loathing — we need you to bring us into the light, show us how to be. And we need you to understand when we’re not comfortable at first. We need you to keep trying. Don’t let us fade away. Don’t let us hide away in the dark, wrestling with demons that will ultimately destroy us. Please. Please. Please.

I am often saddened when a celebrity takes their life but when I heard Robin Williams may have committed suicide I cried. If this famously funny man, who made millions of people laugh, couldn’t fight depression then what chance do any of us have?

Robin Williams was pretending to be an alien when I was around eight years old. I didn’t understand the humor but his personality, his mannerisms, his impersonations were mesmerizing. Watching him was like going to the circus and watching a dozen different clowns inhabit the same body. I will always remember him as the quirky alien in a stripped shirt, rainbow suspenders, and an extremely furry body. But the most memorable thing about him was his smile and how it touched his eyes.

He was like static electricity, a live wire, on the comedy stage and had the most brilliant dirty humor. Robin Williams was the…

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6 responses to “SPARK OF MADNESS”

Imagine what the people who were close to him are feeling today. They’ll be tearing their eyes out that they missed the opportunity to intervene and to stop this from happening. Suicide destroys more than one life.

A lot of people are going to feel empty today. The world is a little less bright.

Helena, Eloquent eulogy of Robin Williams. I too will miss his humor. When he was on or in a show/movie, the screen was a little bit brighter – more funny and just better! Darn-it-all, I agree that with all the money and people that loved or took care of him – why did his misery reach such a level? We’ll never know, but for a short while, the world was better because of him! Nan