My very first diagnosis was Autism when i was 4yr. my family fought it though… leading through a massive list of misdiagnosis’ during my entire school life. it wasn’t until the past year that they finally started accepting that the doctors were right.. however they dont appolize…
I think with being on the spectrum, there area lot of things that happen, which can be misunderstood, and seen as something different. Leading to an almost impossible hill for the child to climb and to accomplish. Because certain ways to do things, aren’t the ways that help. What others see as a tantrum, and can and should be controlled by the kid, or its a behavior problem… is really a meltdown, and by getting mad and adding more stimilus to the kid will only cause things to get worse.. such as disiplining the child while having a meltdown. spanking a kid for what appears to be a tantrum, does nothing more than torment the autisitic child, as it furthers the overbearing stimulis, and another extreme. (that’s something that happened quite often for me).
But by having a reason, which gives more understanding, it opens up that area of “well maybe this is managable”, because often it’s an rough path for both the child and the parents if they aren’t able to see what’s really happening. such as, a tantrum is associated to a “it’s not fair” anger and hurt feeling, and when asked why they are being the way they are, they can clearly state what it is that they want, loud and clear. and tantrums are a behavior issue..
While meltdowns can come on “out of the blue”, and the cause might not be able to be determined. But it is uncontrolable, it happens, the sense get totally overwhelmed in the brain, which causes a meltdown. at these times, a child might not be able to explain why, or whats wrong, or even after the meltdown and they are calmed back down, usually they are as confused over it, as you are.
a ton of people thought i would be lieing when i was telling the true about things.. because of my body language, and the fact that i wasn’t crying when revealing something tramatic, and sometimes i would laugh inapproapriately. And i wasn’t able to understand or figure out, why people wouldn’t believe me. in daycare one day i even had a worker chase me down as i was fleeing the overwhelming stimiuls, then yell at me, and because her kid told her i did something that i didn’t, she was furious, and told me she knew i was lieing.. after she went on and on, it finally came to a stop when she asked me if i knew how she knew i was lieing, and then told me because i wouldn’t look at her…. that left me even more confused, and i withdrew because no one had ever pointed out that i didn’t make eye contact… and i didn’t know eye contact was one way to be believed. i also got into more trouble for “lieing” because i was trying to tell her how i wasn’t lieing. After that they placed me with the 2 year olds group. I was 11-ish.. however, i didn’t see that age gap..

I think if my parents would of agreed with it, and didn’t pull me up and move everytime someone came to the conclussion of autism about me, then i would of had a lot more progress than where i am currently at.
Such things have an affect on both the mental well-being of the child, and also the parents, or caregivers.
When i was younger, i think Autism was still viewed a lot as like a terminal illness… and rendered the parents into a helpless type of feeling for their children… which no parent wants to feel like they are there on the side lines, and are completely helpless in helping their child.

I think having a diagnosis, adds to the aid and help, along with a greater understanding, in which can then lead to finding ways that work.

Something one of my casemangers said (which is very accurate for me), you just have to know the right questions to ask.
Kind of like:person 1: do you like coffee?
person 2: kind of
1: what kind do you like?
2: I dont know.
1: do you like decaf coffee?
2: no.
1: do you like hot chocolate coffee?
2: no.
1: well what type of coffee do you like?
2: I dont know..
1: what about pumpkin spice coffee?
2: no.
1: do you like cinnamon coffee?
2: yes.
1: do you want a cinnamon coffee?
2: YES!
Which can be really challenging. but the answer does end up being found out, where otherwise, it might remain unknown. It’s kind of a langauge difficulty. And differnt forms of communication might make this a bit easier. Anywhere from highlighting sentences that are true for them, to other forms of non speaking ways, can help make this kind of thing easier. But when asked a open ended question, or a “fill in the blank” type of question, they may be stuck and unable to get any of it out into explanations or words.(in my own experience).

For older people, a person can try to figure out if having the diagnosis will help them any, or if they feel like it would harm them. Eventually leading to them either reaching out of the diagnosis, or leaving it behind.

—

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalmingOcean

Wow thank you for this reply. T’his really helps. I am sorry you went through such a struggle in your early years.

… its because of the loneliness factors.. the not being understood factor… the lacking of friends, even tho one tries to gain and keep them… the lack of being like others, so bad that it hurts… and the fact that so many people that aren’t on the spectrum, will prolly say to what i just said “oh i have that too”, or “i know what that’s like.” , or “I’ve had to go through that a few times, but once i was able to _____. I didn’t have to worry about that any more because it wasn’t a problem no longer.”, or “i have troubles with that too, but you just have to _____ “, only proves this point… because you might sympathize, but are not able to empathize… you may know how it feels to you, but you dont know how it feels all the time, never having a break from it, never being stuck with people who just dont seem to understand… never reaching that goal, no matter how much you try, how long you try, how hard it is… always trying … but never being able to achieve that.
And if you did, you would be stuck just like that… and wouldn’t have found that solution that one swears by works.

Brain MRI’s (and FMRI’s) suck. Basically the only thing that makes them simliar to an “MRI” is the way the machiene works and the tube you go in… by the time it was over, I felt like i was rammed into a wall (like how the log rammed into the poor Roseanne from the candy commercial) about 10 times, and like my brain had been taken apart and loosely put back together. Then after it was done, loud high pitched screaming in my ears for hours to come. And the EEG gooppeeey stuff caused chemical burns on me during the MRI. then i got stuck twice for the contrast, and one time being right in my wrist (palm side up). then when i got up, MAAAN did i have a headache.. not just one kind either.. it was a regular headache, and then one with the burns, and then a few in random spots within my head/brain. and like when i get out and it’s cold my brain feels like i’m getting a brain freeze from a cold beverage-but there are no beverages. and i keep getting sharp pinching pain at the top, but back side of my head(about skull level, which radiates further within)… It may have had more of an affect on me just because it brought back what it felt like to be hit in the face. but also i feel pressure in there, and i guess all that stuff knocked the sinus cavities for a good one, because it cleared out my whole head, which apparently seemed my problem with my hearing in my right ear.. cause now i’m right back to sounds being extremely painful (not related to a headache senstivity). And my a part of my ribs keeps hurting, and today i had a hard time standing up and walking across the room. last night it hurt, and my knees kept having problems. my chest is all ichy and burny and i guess i got a tiny bit of chemical burns there too around my collar bone. and i still cant feel anything but pressure on my nose or a certain part of my left leg (no feeling on the skin). and my stomach was hurting really bad when ever i was moving around yesterday. and the inside of my shoulder area keeps getting sharp-ish like pecking pain in it. And along with dizzy spells, and nausea (to the point i went trying to make my way to the bathroom- thats how far it got to.. but it remained just nausea), and feeling my heart beating in thumps within my throat, trembling legs, and i just feel so unknown miserable (like the kind where you think something is about to happen (physically, not mentally) but you dont know what.. you dont know if your going to puke, or poop, or if it might find its way out your belly button, or what). and i kept jumping(whole body jerk) everytime the machiene would start making sounds after a pause.

The only way they are ever getting me to do that again, will have to be when i’m unconscious and dont have a say in it. NEVER AGAIN!

There, I’m done, thanks for listening to me rant/vent. I actually can’t wait to see what my brain looks like. lol that’s something i’ve never gotten to see before (but then again, neither has anyone else lol!!)

I AM: Known by many diffrent names.. (Christina; Angel; Angle; April; Ang-ang; and many more.lol) I WANT: feel safe. I HAVE: A kitten I WISH: I wasn’t “worthless”. I HATE: being yelled at. I MISS: My friends. I FEAR: people. sometimes.. I HEAR: My music..lol. I SEARCH: For true friendship. I WONDER: if i’m the only one, alot. I REGRET: somethings. I ACHE: in my stomach.. I ALWAYS: Smile.. or atleast most of the time.. i think.. lol. I AM NOT: …talkative, or atleast lately i haven’t.. *shrugs* I DANCE: random things. I SING: When I feel comfortable, and not scared.. and I also have to be hyper, or somewhat talkative that day. I CRY: When I’m really mad, or when someone hurts me mentally. I WRITE: lyrics/poems/fanfics. I LOSE: things sometimes.. but after awhile I usually find it (even if it was a year later.lol) I CONFUSE: people, when I talk without arranging my words in my head first (another reason why i’m so quiet. lol) I NEED: money I SHOULD: get offline and goto sleep, so I can get online when I was suppose to meet Danielle online.lol..

DO YOU’s/HAVE YOU’s: You keep a diary: Nothing too personal… cause everything i have gets violated. You have a secret journal: …My mind… and my best friends.lol.. You set your watch a few minutes ahead: no.. Why should I, I need the extra sleep.lol ^_^ You bite your fingernails: When I am nervous, or having a rough time over something.. Take a shower everyday: more like every other day.. That’s when i’m at school.lol.. when its just me, then.. ehh.. maybe 3 or 4 at the most.. but mostly when i wait 4 days its cause i’m sick or something. Have a(any) crush(es): … Don’t know.lol ^_^ Think you know you’ve been in love: .. ehh.. yes? i don’t know.lol.. Been hurt: … dot dot dot… Want to get married: Someday. Have any tattoos/where?: No Piercing/where?: yes, on my ears. Think you’re a health freak: unless i’m sick no… Get along with your parents: no.

In the last 24 hours have you: CRIED? Yes HELPED SOMEONE? I don’t know. BOUGHT SOMETHING? no GOTTEN SICK? Ugh.. don’t remind me. GONE TO THE MOVIES? … Not been to one since last summer with Caitlin. GONE OUT FOR DINNER? Last time I did that… Last summer with my sister, and dad. SAID “I LOVE YOU”? …ya, to my neko (cat, in japanese). WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? LOL.. poor Caitlin.. yes..lol.. MISSED SOMEONE? Yep HUGGED SOMEONE? … no.. FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? yes. FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? No.

would you ever… 1. Eat a bug? eww.. no.. 2. Bungee jump? possibly 3. Hang glide? Possibly 4. would you cheat on your bf/gf? If i had one.. No. 5. Have sex with someone you don’t love? No. 6. Kiss someone of the same sex? ….eh? .. my sister count? lol 7. Parachute from a plane? No 8. Walk on hot coals? No 9. Go out with someone for his or her looks? no. 10. For their reputation? no. 11. Be a vegetarian? probably not. 12. Wear plaid with stripes? don’t know. 13. IM a stranger? LOL.. “I love you” .. that’s what me and Caitlin did one day at school in the yahoo game rooms.. just randomly IMing people saying that we loved them.. ^_^ hehe.. some pretty funny replies.. even our teacher was laughing ^_^. 14. Sing karaoke? I have done that before. 15. Get drunk? no.. 16. Shoplift? … no 17. Run a red light? No. 18. Dye your hair blue? No. 19. Be on Survivor? No way.lol.. I’d never survive.lol 20. Wear makeup in public? never.. but it’s possible later on. 21. NOT wear makeup in public? ^_^ what? lol, takes to much time.. and I feel… all… werid.lol. 22. Make someone cry? v.v I’ve done that a few times, hopefully never agian. (one time was with my brother Zack). 23. Kick a baby? NO WAY! 24. Date someone more than ten years older than you? .. No. 25. Stay up all through the night? … All the way? maybe one day.lol.. latest I’ve made it was like 5am…lol.. (and that was at Danielle’s house.. lol ^_^ I got attacked by a killer ant. lol)

Have you: 1.Fallen for your best friend? When I was younger… ya.. once…lol. 2.made out with a friend? o.o .. not really… lol 3.been rejected? ehh.. never ask anyone.. so I supose i never have.lol. 4.been in love? yep. 5.used someone? no. 6.been used? I don’t know.. 7.been cool? Define “Cool”. 8.done something you regret? sometimes.

Do you… 19. color your hair? did a few times. not anymore. 20.have tattoos? Nope 21.have piercings? my ears. 22.have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No. 23.own a webcam? No. 24.own a thong? No. 25.ever get off the computer? Ya, when I’m somewhere where I can’t get on a computer, or when my tv works, I can play video games, but that’s about the only time.. oh, and when I sleep. lol.

Have you/do you/are you… 26. stolen anything? Once, when I was like 3yr.. (yes i know.. its strange but it stayed in my memory… it was a … small brown deer toy thing..) 27. schizophrenic? Nope… I don’t think. I’ve been labeled with many things but that’s not one of them.lol. 28. are you obessive? … depends… sometimes. 29. panic? sometimes.lol.

questions… 30. if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? Spending the night with Caitlin. *cries* 31. what facial feature do you like most about your boyfriend/girlfriend? Don’t have one…. 32. would you vote for a woman president? Depends.. If she could do the job. 33. would you marry for money? No. 34. Have you had braces? Sort of. 35. do you pluck your eyebrows? When I can find the tweezers.. yes.. otherwise, no.lol. 36. do you like mustaches? not really. 37. when did you last have a hickey? no. 38. By who? I just said no. *rolls eyes* lol. 39. who do you want to kiss? lol, you think I would actually answer that? 40. If you could get stuck with anyone in a closet who would it be? well… I wouldn’t really want to be stuck in a closet.. scarey..lol

Subject

…

DateCreated

5/20/2006 10:58:00 AM

PostedDate

5/20/2006 10:56:00 AM

Body

Nosy Questions

You Come First!

what’s ur name?:

Angel

what r nicknames people call u by?:

Kimi; Ang-Ang; April; … so many…lol

how old are you?:

19

how old do you act?:

lol.. um.. 12? i don’t know.lol.

where do u live?:

Indiana

where do u wish u lived?:

Texas

Family Comes Second!

do u have siblings?:

Yes

if yes, how many?:

6

which is your favorite?:

Brittnee

do u get along with ur parents?:

(my parents here?) no.

Admit it, youd have no life without ur parents.:

Actually I would have a life…

Did you admit it?:

no, cause its not true.. My parents now, aren’t my true mom and dad.. so therefore, i could live without them.

Friends Come Third!

how many friends do u have?:

um… 4 bestfriends…

do u love them all equally?:

lol.. probably not.

which one do u usually go to for advice first?:

… Morgan..

which do u usually call first to hang out?:

Caitlin.

which do u find urself disagreeing with the most?:

Danielle

do u feel u need more friends?:

sometimes.. most of the time.lol..

Music!

what genre of music do u jam to?:

any mostly.

what’s ur favorite band(s):

many

who’s ur favorite singer(s):

many

what kind of music do u hate most?:

rap

what kind of instrument would u love to play?:

… flute… the wood flute…

Do u know someone who can seriously kill a good song?:

yes.

who’s that person and what are they to you? (lol):

My brother (one of them).

Clothes!

out of 100%, how much do u love clothes?:

well uh, since i wear them almost all the time, i would say probably 99%

how many jeans do you own?:

3 here (about 9 at my dad’s house)

how many shirts do you own?:

6 here (uncountable, like 30 at my dad’s.lol)

how many shoes?:

2 here ( 4 at my dad’s)

do u prefer brandnames, or nonbrand names?:

if i like it, then it doesn’t matter.

what are ur favorite stores?:

… for clothes? don’t have one.

would u ever bust 500 on nothing BUT clothes?:

no..

your crazy if you said yes:

ok..lol

What do u think about…

the president:

he was once my governor… (TX)

gay/bi marriages:

eh, if its true love.. then… i don’t really have a opion on that…*shrugs*

You will meet exciting new people through interest groups or functions that you attend with your children. Exaggeration or deception coupled with overindulgence might be a problem. Get involved in creative projects that could turn into moneymaking ventures.

My children?! LOL!! ROFTL!!! hehe! I didn’t know I had any children.. unless they are counting my sister, who I took care of some… LOL!!

Subject

YAY FOR BOREDUM… not really.lol

DateCreated

5/20/2006 12:02:00 PM

PostedDate

5/20/2006 12:00:00 PM

Body

Your Guidance to Kill Boredom

Basics SCREWED

Name Scrambled:

Legna

Age Backwards:

91 O.O … X_X

Yeah? No?

Swim a mile, rather than run:

yes.

live forever:

no.

live in the anime world:

yes.

Do you check out the opposite sex?:

eh? hehe

the same sex?:

no.

ditch school cuz of a test?:

a few times.

egg the school?:

no.

Favorite

Dog breed:

Yorkie

theme park:

Six Flags Over Texas

car brand:

don’tknow

parent:

My true mom.

vacation spot:

Flordia

snack:

chips

People You Know..

Person you talk to when you’re afraid:

…I usually don’t express my fears.

Person you talk to for advice:

Morgan, and Caitlin.

Person you just like to sock =]:

huh?

Person who ignores you, but you still bother to try talking:

many people

Person who you think, thinks you’re annoying:

many people.

Best one to tell a secret to:

Morgan

One who did the most disgusting thing to you?:

….not saying.

School

Gotten Detention At All?:

yes.

Really? How many did you get this year?:

this year? once.

Are you sure?:

yep

Skipped Class Before?:

<_< .. thats what I got the detention for… Health class is mean.lol

Egged the School?:

no

Argue with a teacher?:

… used to.. now i find no point.. i’ll lose anyways.

Fought with someone?:

a few times.

Failed a Test this year?:

haha.. yep.. Test are mean too.

How good of a friend are you?

what do you think? o_O:

think of what?

Have you forgotten a friend’s birthday?:

-_-‘ maybe..

forgotten a friend’s birthday and asked someone or read it off the calendar:

I just ask the person what their birthday is, and wait for the yelling.lol..

Lie to them, just so you won’t hurt their feelings?:

yes..

Didn’t buy a friend a gift? =[:

.. a few times..

Got totally mad at your friend?:

-_-‘ I feel as if I’m talking about Caitlin on all of these.. yes.lol.

Tried to accept an annoying friend?:

yes. (this one doesn’t count Caitlin.lol)

Help them do a big favor?:

yes.

Walked them to the restroom? LOL…:

lol ^_^ even though that sound strange… yes..

Random

Who was the last person who walked you to the restroom?:

JoAnn

Eye color?:

blue-ish, green

Know what an albino is?:

yes.

even know your blood type?:

no.

where do you hang out?:

the computer

favorite sport?:

volleyball

last person to IM you?:

Morgan

last person to comment you?:

Morgan

who’s your best friend? or are your best friends xD?:

Caitlin, Danielle, Morgan, and John

do you like to wear visors?:

eh?

omg do you even know what that is?:

lol.. *blushes* not sure.

would you wear yellow lipstick, even if you were a guy, for an ad for $20?:

My cousin and I are good friends agian….. or… atleast until he decides that he is mad at me agian… I don’t know why I keep being his friend… When all he does is hurt me. It may be the “destiny” or what ever it is called where something has been that way, and it is meant to be that way.. and it has allways been that way since a very young age. (we have known eachother since before school age) … We have always been like siblings (even to the fighting part.lol). and we have never really gotten violent other than words until the past few years (actually a lot of years ago *shrugs*)…. and… now I just know that I don’t win in a game against him… or anything that makes him mad…
I think it started because of me.. Because I saw how much our grandma was hurting him (and making him mad, and being so… mean) so I had this theory: “If he hits me, it will make him feel better, and He wont be angry so much.. And I can help him” … and it was more of I had pain watching him as he felt angry, and the other things he felt cause of her.. But I seemed to feel better when he did hit me (messed up I know)… but he used to never be so strong… now when he hits it feels like, all of my skin just goes limp in that area and die… and the bone aches… (he even hits harder than my step dad, which is saying something)…. I don’t know why I’m posting this.. I guess I just feel if i say something this will leave my mind… It’s not that I really trust anyone with this information.. and this is the kind of information I only trust with my best friends.. so I really don’t know if I want to post this now or not….. *sighs* I suppose I will… just if you are reading this, and you’re not one I usually talk to about my …. life… then don’t expect me to tell you all about the things in my head, and things that go on..

Subject

Summer Survey

DateCreated

5/22/2006 3:43:00 PM

PostedDate

5/22/2006 4:16:00 PM

Body

1. Do you get sad when school’s out? Ya… Go ahead, you can call me crazy…2. Spring or Summer? spring

3. When is the last day of school? in 2 days… Wednesday.

4. Have any plans for the summer? Getting a job, then using the money to see my best friends in Tx; July 24th – August 13th.

5. Did April showers bring May flowers? uh.. whaty, what? lol

6. What do you find most enjoyable about a sunny day? I can get a tan.

>> Over summer do you…?

7. Plan to go to any concerts?: nope.

8. Watch a lot of movies?: Possibly…

9. Make a lot of memorable moments?: That’s a definate, Yep!

10. Sleep in?: For the most part.. yep.

11. Go to any carnivals?: uhhhh.. Six flags count? lol…

12. Like to swim? yes!

13. Tan? Yep.. or red..lol..

14. Like to hangout with your friends? YES!!!!!!!!

15. Get allergies? Hopefully not..

16. Have that summer romance and then dump them as soon as summer’s over? …. no

17. Miss going to school even just little bit? I’ll miss this school year… but I don’t know if I’ll want to go back or not.. Most of the people I know are Seniors, and they are leaving this year. *cries*

18. Wear sunglasses? nope, don’t look good on me..

19. How many pairs of sunglasses do you have? like 3, but i never wear them.

>>Over summer are you…

20. Travelling to another place?: Yep! Texas! ^_^

21. Planning to work? Yep.

22. Why or Why not? Need the money to goto Texas.

23. What do you do for the 4th of July? …Wish that I could goto Plano, Tx, and watch the fireworks with my best friends with my mom…

24. Is shopping for school clothes your favorite thing about summer? 0.0 no… why would it be? clothe shoping is boring!

25. What about school supply shopping? … If i get what I want.. if not.. then no.. its not fun..

26. What is the temperature right now? uh… like…. 70? … right now in Tx its 90 *dreams about being where it is warm*

27. How hot can it get? Here… not sure..lol…. But in Texas I have seen and felt it when it was 135 degrees .. and the heat index was something like 140.. (the swimming pool was like a sauna.. lol.. so AC inside is the best way to go..lol)

32. After summer is over what’s there to look foward to? .. Well this year… My cousin is coming to the high school.. so i’m hopeing we can be friends.. But after summer is over? I’ll be looking foward to next summer, when I can offically move back to Tx, and goto Collin County Community College… ^_^

33. When is the 1st day of school? I think august the 14th.. not sure though.

34. Summers over, what are your thoughts? … WHY?! lol..

Subject

School’s Out

DateCreated

5/24/2006 7:26:00 PM

PostedDate

5/24/2006 8:24:00 PM

Body

… I’m happy that I get to stay up as late as I want, and that I get to wake up when ever I want…. And I have to admit, the “party” on our bus ride home… I liked.. But… I still dont want school to be out…. Just wondering if anyone or how many feel the same? ….How many people had a “party” on their bus? .. I heard some people got candy.. Our bus only had drinks ^_^ but i’m okay with that. ^_^

————————————————————

I suppose I can be categorized as a senior now ^_^, since I am spending no more time as a Jr. ^_^

Subject

*sighs*

DateCreated

5/25/2006 6:32:00 PM

PostedDate

5/25/2006 6:30:00 PM

Body

yep.. not much, other than kind of sad.. but oh well.

Subject

*crying*

DateCreated

5/28/2006 8:36:00 AM

PostedDate

5/28/2006 9:21:00 AM

Body

“angel,

sorry i was at jamies house… so you can’t come to me at that time… I’m going on a cruise… we leave july 30 and come back my dad says a week later… and me and my mom go school shopping around that time before school so that wont work for me at all. sorry…

caitlin”…. ya, the one day i’ve been looking foward to, for almost a year now…. I… wont see my best friend….. I’ll…. not even have another chance to see her until college… and that is if-y too… I feel like just yelling “WHAT DOES IT MATTER NOW!? THE ONLY REASON FOR THE JOB WAS BECAUSE I WANTED TO GO SEE HER! WHAT DOES ANYTHING MATTER! IF A DAY THAT WAS PLANNED FOR ALMOST A YEAR, HAD JUST BEEN SUDDENLY CHANGED!!!” i really feel like saying a bad word with “it” after it… but. i wont…
ahh, i can’t talk about it anymore.. *posts this, then runs off into my room crying* (for real)

Lyrics of a song i’ve heard before (it’s one that was remade for a movie so the words are diffrent from the original)…

“Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a friend,
Sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I lived in,
This city where my friends are,
As lonely as I am, together we cry.
”
okey, i have to stop listening to it… (but it is how i feel right now…. somewhat….) …. (its a remake.. the original verison of it is called “Under the Bridge” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Subject

uppy-date to “*crying*”

DateCreated

5/28/2006 11:20:00 AM

PostedDate

5/28/2006 12:13:00 PM

Body

I’m just bored…. trying to find something to do…
I hopeing that Caitlin will email me back with something hopefull…. so far this is all of what we’ve said today………Me: “*nods*”Caitlin: “all i get is a nod??? that makes me feel like something is wrong and angel doesn’t want to talk about it…”Me: “yes…. me is very sad, and depressed, but me will be okay..
That’s the only tiime I can come.. cause i have no way to get enough money before that.. (with bus it is 188 dollars, and with plane last time i checked the cheapest was 300 something, but it goes up everyday……) ….
plus now i’m all embarrased to leave my house..lol! … I cut my hair.. and … well.. one side got cut shorter than the rest of my hair.. and i don’t want the rest of my hair to be that short so i’m leaving it… unless i can’t quit thinking of what it looks like..lol…”

Subject

Something I seemed to notice about myself….

DateCreated

5/30/2006 10:52:00 PM

PostedDate

5/30/2006 11:22:00 PM

Body

Strange… I noticed when I’m not around my parents for atleast a day or so… I start… becoming “outgoing” … I really… don’t know why though… The only conclusion i can come up with is… That I can actually be me, without a serious punishment… I… I’m just really thinking on this right now.. Because I never really noticed it until now… Even when I was at my Dad’s… I was like… so talkative, and not so shy that I felt like I would just kill over if I had to go up and talk to someone…. ugh! why ?! …. I often wonder if I would still be known as the “good” kid if my outgoing side showed? …. I mean.. I’m much more talkative, and much more expressive on how I feel, and how i think of something, or somebody… …. …. (even though… as i was at my dad’s; I was still a bit shy though… just not very much…) …. I was mostly hyper… like I am rarely … or lets put it this way, like I rarely show it.. (there are many days that I am hyper, and don’t show it much… )Hehe, change of subject sortof… but wanna see pics of me being hyper? (about as hyper as I can get… i… think… lol) (pics are from Jenni’s cam, and they were taken on the last days of school.. P.E. and Biology)…. *embarrased* Yes… I know… I look quite stupid in these.. and some… I don’t know… I just look… very…. um….. ….. ….. weird… lol.. (soon i’ll have more… maybe … to show you… there are pics (some really good ones… one that I like a lot.. its a strange (clean) pose, ) on Shelby’s cam… ^_^)

Me, and Jenni ^_^

A semi dramtic leaving…. *shrugs* I was only doing what they wanted me to do… I was leaving early to goto TV class ^_^

Peek-a-boo! … don’t know what I was thinking.. but, m-kay. lol ^_^

DANCING! … i think…lol

I CAN FLY!! WEEEEE! *runs off laughing* … (i think this was just one of my random hyper dizzy turns (lol.. don’t know what to call it…lol) …lol)

We were laughing at something on Shelby’s camera.. but I don’t remember what..lol

Jenni, and me… In P.e…. ugh, we still had to dress out on that day..lol!

“Shhh… keep her side tracked, and I’ll knock poetry in her” (okey, even though that sound mean.. I didn’t mean it that way… I was only acting… until right after the pic was taken and she noticed the book coming close in slow motion to her head, then I turned around and whistled…lol!)

Okey, here is a clear-er picture of the one I uploaded in my myspace photo section.. (myspace blurred it a bit).. its a collage… ^_^

Guess i should go now.. i’m getting annoyed at my compy because it keeps poping up a window telling me to restart my computer,.. and if i don’t click “restart later” then it will do it automaticly in 4 mins (but it keeps coming back…lol)

Subject

another survey

DateCreated

6/6/2006 11:13:00 AM

PostedDate

6/6/2006 12:08:00 PM

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43 of the MOST Random Questions Ever

1. Where were you 1 hour ago?
Sleeping, and just about to be woke up by a telemarketing caller.. rrrr.. lol

2. Who will be your next kiss?
Huh? I don’t know……

3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
yes, my flip flops on the floor… my dog is using them as some kind of a pillow.lol

4. When is the last time you went to the mall?
um.. last time was when me and my dad re-met eachother.. and that was about a year in a half ago.. (I think he thought since i was a girl I would love the mall… *shrugs*)

5. Are you wearing socks right now?
no..

6. When was the last time you went out of town?
uh… um… Does coming here count? in August…06…

7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
no.. but I did go about 2 weeks ago, and we went to see Over The Hedge… But only got to see 20 mins of the movie because they kicked everyone out of the theatre, or made them go into the bathroom over 2 times, and we were like, “oh well, lets just leave, this is getting annoying” …

8. What was the last thing you had to drink?
um… Mountain Dew last night I think…

9. What are you wearing right now?
my shirt and pants that I sleep in… and my glasses…

10. Have you been in a car wash?
Yes.. *hides in the thought* the bottom of my feet ended up “sun” burned.. and eh, almost everywhere I was burned. It was about 101 degrees outside that day..

11. Last fast food you ate?
McDonnalds ^_^ I got free gift ceritificate coupon thingy’s for coming during graduation.. so after graduation, I went to mcdonnalds. ^_^

12. Where were you last week on Saturday?
At school, filming.. and admirering the new switcher..

13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Does cat clothes count? lol…

14. when was the last time you ran?
2 days ago, i think… I ran a little too much.. why do you think I’m limping around… I also fell and twisted my ankle.. rrrr.. stupid flip flops!

15. What’s the last sporting event you watched?
… Basket ball?

16. What is your favorite class?
T.V! I mean, it has to be my favorite right? I’m still going there in the summer..lol…

17. Your dream vacation?
Being with my best friends forever.

18. Last 3 people’s houses you were in?
My Mom’s, Caitlins, and Shelby’s (wow that’s scarey, I can tell you the last three people’s houses i’ve been in… and… I haven’t been to my Mom’s or Caitlin’s house for almost a year (a year next month)).

19. How old are your parents?
Which ones? My mom is like 39.. my dad is 45 (i think) … my grandma is 53 i think.. and my papaw is 61 I think….

20. Are you in love?
*shrugs*

21. Do you miss anyone?
Yes!

22. Last play you saw?
um… I really haven’t been to see any play’s since middle school..(and i was kind of forced to those, cause I was a dancing dog…)..

23. What are your plans for today?
The usual boring summer day… Wait for Danielle to get online (and if she doesn’t be bored.lol) and rpg.. then find random things to do on the internet, such as myspace and such… and then fall asleep around 3-5am… and start my day all over agian.. with the same routine.. *sarcasticly* fun!

24. Who is the last person you commented on myspace?
Jenni

25. Ever go to camp?
Once… It wasn’t and actual “camp”.. we weren’t in the woods, or around trees at all.. it was in Lousianna, and at one of the colleges there, and it was a church concert type of thing. I LOVED the food.. and the ketchup sauce! (its diffrent there… its so yummy!) we got like a card that had 30 dollars on it, that we could spend per day.. and we could choose resturants.. then we all found a cafe with computers, and that’s were we all hung out during our free time..lol.. although once i did go swimming.. ^_^

26. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Yep.

27. What do you want to know about the future?
Will I ever get to see my best friends agian?

28. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
no.

29. Are you hungry?
somewhat..

30. Where is your best friend located?
Well Caitlin, and Danielle is in Tx, and Morgan is a few streets from me..(i think)

31. Do you have a tan?
for the first year in my life…no… *sighs*

32. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
uh? … not right now.. I don’t know… lol

33. Do you collect anything?
I used to, but now… not really…

34. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
Never.. I’m a good little driver.lol…

35. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Yes.. anytime I am at a resturant, or at Caitlin’s house ^_^ .

36. How do you like your drinks?
uh… what? … cold? lol

37. Do you like hot sauce?
yep.. well.. sort of..

38. Last time you took a shower?
uh? lol.. ok it’s summer time.. i’m all alone so why would I care what my hair looks like? I don’t smell, so.. I haven’t really taken one for .. err… um…. 3 or 4 days? eeee! that sounds bad.. oh well..

39. Who do you have a crush on?
Why should I say that?

40. What is your mood?
just okay..

41. Are you someones best friend?
I think so ^_^

42. Are you rich?
no…

43. What do you think of the person who took this survey before?
She’s fun to be around… but now thanks to her, I will be thinking of fish, when I drink water.. *hides*