Are We a Family-Friendly Nation?

See Mom work (and carpool, and cook, and clean up...). Here's how America's working parents are (and aren't) making it work, with the help of our government and our corporations -- and what can be done to make all of our lives better.

Almost three quarters of American women with kids under 18 work -- that's some 25 million moms! For the sake of the families that depend on them financially and emotionally, it should be a given that our workplaces have policies that support women in being productive workers and great mothers: flexible work options, affordable child care, and paid maternity leave and sick days. The grim truth is that the average worker puts in nearly 2,000 hours per year, which is up more than 36 hours -- almost a whole workweek! -- since 1990. Employers and the government have the power to create and support policies that will allow us to be the best workers and the best parents. Change is coming -- in some places more quickly than others. Here, the legislation, companies, and people dedicated to improving our days, plus a look at how far we still have to go, and how to get there together.

The One Law That Protects Most

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), enacted in 1993, was the first national policy to help Americans meet the dual demands of work and family. For those who work at companies with at least 50 employees, FMLA guarantees 12 weeks per year of unpaid leave to care for a newborn or an ill family member, or to recover from a serious health condition, while ensuring job security; 60 million Americans have taken advantage. In January, President George W. Bush approved an expansion to FMLA that will do more for our military families. Workers can now take up to 26 weeks of leave to care for enlisted family members who are seriously hurt. But FMLA still excludes the nearly 40 percent of Americans at small companies -- as well as those who can't afford three months without pay. While on their longest leave, nearly one in 10 FMLA users goes on public assistance, and more than three quarters of employees say they haven't taken leave they needed because they can't afford it.

Why Guaranteed Paid Leave Makes for Good Business

In 2002, California passed the Paid Family Leave bill, making it the first state to guarantee 55 percent of a worker's wages for family leave. "All employees contribute about 0.6 percent from their paychecks to fund the program, up to a yearly maximum of roughly $500," says state Senator Sheila Kuehl, who sponsored the bill. "It's a win-win situation because workers can afford to take time off, and businesses don't have to pay the cost of recruiting and training new employees when they lose others to pregnancy or illness." The law costs each worker an average of $46 per year, and one study shows it actually saves California businesses $89 million -- and the state $25 million -- each year. The program covers 13 million workers. In October 2009, Washington will become the second state to assure paid family leave, guaranteeing five weeks off for new parents with a benefit of $250 per week. And earlier this year, a similar bill was reintroduced in New Jersey; it would guarantee workers six weeks of temporary disability insurance to care for a newborn, newly adopted child, or seriously ill family member, with two-thirds wage replacement up to $524. Paid-leave bills have been introduced in more than 20 other states, and many states (CO, GA, IL, ME, MA, NY, PA, WI) have grassroots organizations such as 9to5 that are advocating hard for such laws. To find out what's being proposed around the country, log on to The Parent's Guide to Family-Friendly Work, offers these stay-sane tips:

1. Give up the guilt. "It's a waste to spend family time stressing about work and the workday stressing about being away from home," says Long. "Remember that working is providing for your family -- financially, of course, but also because it builds your self-esteem, which can make you more confident in your parenting decisions."

2. Make the job work for you. "Even if your company doesn't have flexible work policies, it might be open to them," says Long. "Write a proposal for your boss that spells out what you're asking for, how you'd make it work, and how it would benefit your employer. If you're a shift worker, would it be okay to trade shifts or get a coworker to cover for you? If you're an office worker, could you share your office and therefore save the company money? They might turn you down, but it's worth asking."

3. Seek out new options. "If you find that your employer is really inflexible about your family needs, you can always get a new job," says Long. "Ask around and browse company websites to get a sense of which employers offer the benefits you need. At your interview, ask what a typical day is like, and pay attention to how rigid the schedule sounds. If it will vary weekly, find out when it's posted -- the more lead time you'll have, the more likely you'll be able to take care of your family needs. If you'll be working in an office, scan the cubicles for family photos and kid artwork displayed -- if there are lots of parents, chances are it's a family-friendly environment."

4. Share responsibility. "We tend to think of family needs as a moms-only issue, but if you've got a partner, he should look into family-friendly work as well," says Long. "Work together with your spouse to share the burden of family-work balance."

Shocking Statistics:

33% of working women work some nights and weekends.

41% of parents' working conditions negatively affect their children's health

60% of workers were paid by the hour in 2005; 1.9 million earned minimum wage or less

Americans work nearly 2,000 hours per year

75% of American women with young children work

60% of Americans want legislation that would make flexible work a more viable option

The Best Companies To Work At From 9-5 (Or 10-6, Or 11-3)

Some American companies rock at taking care of working moms -- and all their workers. In 2007, Working Mother gave these employers tip-top scores for their family-friendly policies and attitudes.

1. Baptist Health South Florida, Coral Gables, FL

Almost half of all employees at this health-care organization flex their schedule, meaning they work full-time but vary their arrival and departure times to meet their own needs. Plus, the company offers a loan of up to $10K to first-time home buyers.

2. Booz Allen Hamilton, McLean, VA

Workers at this consulting firm receive a 10 percent discount at a national child-care chain, plus have access to low-cost backup care. There's also a career model for permanent part-timers.

3. Ernst & Young, New York City

A Working Moms Network at this accounting firm helps new moms transition back to work, and if a new dad is the primary caregiver, he gets six weeks of leave at full pay (if he's not, he still gets two). Workers can also arrange for 12 full days per year of subsidized backup child or adult care (workers pay $4 to $15 per hour).

4. General Mills, Minneapolis

Forty-four percent of staffers at this food corporation use flextime, and others telecommute and job-share. There's an on-site child-care center in Minneapolis, and employees at other locations receive a 10 percent discount at two national child-care chains. Plus, the company pays 85 percent of sick child care for employees' kids.

5. IBM, Armonk, NY

To encourage family time, this technology company offers a program that teaches employees about boosting productivity and cutting unnecessary work. And staff can send kids to the firm's science/tech summer programs for free (last summer, 1,600 kids participated!).

6. KPMG, New York City

At this accounting firm, more than 65 percent of staffers flex their hours, telecommute, or compress their work weeks. The firm also assists with in-house and center-based backup care.

7. The McGraw-Hill Companies, New York City

New mothers at this publishing company get 26 weeks of leave, including four weeks fully paid and six partially paid. New fathers and adoptive parents get three weeks of paid leave, which can be used during the new baby's first six months.

8. PricewaterhouseCoopers, New York City

Staffers at this accounting firm receive discounted child care, and when they're away on business, the firm foots the child-care bill. In addition to 12 weeks of leave (nine paid), if new moms have twins or triplets, they get two extra weeks off.

9. UBS, New York City

At this financial-services firm, The Working Parents Group provides mentoring, and the Career Comeback program offers advice for women on reentering the workforce.

10. Wachovia, Charlotte, NC

Almost a third of employees at this financial-services firm telecommute, and the company hosts an annual work-life balance event to educate employees.

HERE'S HOPING!

Though it's still stuck in Congress, The Healthy Families Act spells good news if it does become law: It would guarantee seven paid sick days per year for those working at least 30 hours a week at companies with 15 or more employees.

Ron Chapple Stock

Readers Reveal: The Joys and Struggles of Being a Working Mom

"I work as an echocardiologist, and even though my practice claims it's family-friendly, when my child had an asthmatic reaction that required me to take a few days off, I was chastised and told that my absence negatively affected the practice's rating. And when I attended my child's magic show, I overheard a mom say, 'It's about time she showed up for something!' I would like to know how I can be both a good mom and a good employee -- often it feels like one negates the other." -- Donna Doyle-Wilson, 42, Schroon Lake, NY

"I feel lucky to be an account executive at a great company. When it's time to pick my kids up at school, I leave the office, then work in the afternoon from home on a company laptop. When the kids are on vacation, my boss lets me bring them to work, and we even schedule one day for everyone to bring their kids in so they can all play together. My boss fully believes that family comes first." -- Laura Quinlan, 43, Bellerose, NY

"I'm a working single mom, and I hate it that my son's day-care provider spends more time with him than I do. My company does not have a child-care center, and I really wish I could telecommute. Still, it's nice to know I'm teaching my son that adults have responsibilities and have to make money." -- Mindy Mueller, 29, Palmdale, CA

"I telecommute for my job as a systems analyst. About four years ago, after I had my child, I wanted to move to Utah to be close to family, and my Washington, D.C.-based company set me up to work long-distance. I work from home full-time, and I travel once per month. I'm glad my company is so accommodating!" -- Racheall Martin, 38, Draper, UT

"I work for a health-insurance company, and they don't get what it's like to be a working mom. I do have sick days, but it's frowned upon if I use them. I get six personal days per year, and that's supposed to be enough to take care of the issues that come up while raising a 6-year-old. For a health company, my employer isn't family-oriented at all." -- Jennifer Archambeau, 35, Detroit

"I teach at the school my kids attend. Though my supervisor is sympathetic, the school makes it difficult to be a working mom. They've lowered the tuition discount for employees' kids, plus they no longer allow us to have our kids in our classrooms before school. We have to be in at 7:30 a.m., but there is no supervision outside till 7:45." -- Jeanette Dominguez, 39, El Paso, TX

"My husband and I work at FedEx, and they're so supportive of us. I work from home three days per week, and he can flex his hours to be different from mine so that our son doesn't have to be in day care full-time. It's great that we're our son's main caretakers, and he seems healthier too." -- Michelle Forsythe, 35, Byhalia, MS

Until I recently remarried, I was a single mother, and I often had to send one of my kids to school with a slight fever or stomachache so I could go to work as a staff assistant -- it was frustrating. My employer does understand mom emergencies, but I still feel like I'm neglecting my work obligations when I have to leave to take care of my children." -- J'Anmetra Burgess, 32, Raleigh, NC

"I'm a mother of seven children, and although my husband was a stay-at-home dad for some time, I still had work-family conflicts. Two years into the job, I was suddenly asked to go on weeks-long out-of-state sales trips. They weren't part of my job description, and I didn't want to leave my family for that long, but when I didn't volunteer along with the rest of the managers, the company began to force me out -- reducing my accounts, telling me I wouldn't be promoted, and scheduling me to work on Easter Sunday. I resigned, and now my husband works and I stay at home. I miss my job, and now our budget is tight, but my children needed a mom who puts them first. I'm lucky that I had choices and the option to quit." -- Crystal Wolfe, 45, Branson, MO

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