Message Boards

Topic : 05/06 Moochers

Number of Replies: 97

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Friday, May 02, 2008, 01:20:38 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

They drain your finances and try to take you for all you’ve got. No, it’s not the IRS, but family freeloaders! First up, when Ryan appeared on the show two years ago, he proudly wore the title King of All Moochers. His mother, Adele, was desperate to get him off the couch and out of her house. After the show, Adele took Dr. Phil’s advice and didn’t give Ryan one penny. But just when she thought her son was getting on his feet, she says Ryan was back to his old ways. She says he’s not contributing to the baby he has with his ex-girlfriend and is about to marry Tanya, a woman with a 5-year-old son, who is now pregnant with his child! Now that Ryan and Tanya have another baby on the way, Ryan says he’s serious about changing his mooching ways. Will he step up to the plate and be a father, or is Tanya just another victim of Ryan’s freeloading lifestyle? Then, Stacey says her 42-year-old brother, Mark, is bleeding her dry. He lives in her basement and hasn’t paid rent in three months. Mark says he’s not a moocher, and it’s not his fault he doesn’t have a job -- he’s just not a morning person. Stacey says her mother, Nell, is a big enabler when it comes to Mark, but is Stacey just as guilty? Will Mark hear the wake-up call before he finds himself on the streets? Tell us what you think.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

Moocher Big time!!

I just caught your show, missed some of the first part, but caught the moocher who is living in the basement of his sister!! Gee I married that man, except he didn't look that way, he was the biggest moocher off of me his wife! I worked 3 jobs to feed our family, finally after realizing that it was much easier to feed my children, and control my own money, since he was an abusive coward, demanding etc... not going into that here, but divorced him, he then married another very soon afterward! I left telling him I hope he found someone he deserved! HE DID! Exactly what I had hoped for, they are 2 peas in a pod, both abusive to each other I have heard as the new wife has a child my daughter's age and would visit here, but Yes, he got what he deserved. I know about moochers, I told my children if they were going to College and lived at home okay, but if you decided to not go to college, you better find a job! Both have turned out very nicely, and when one part time job was and is not enough these days, my youngest has 2! Both are married, the oldest 15 years now, and the youngest will celebrate 3 years this year! They both still work and have a very good work ethic, go to work or you won't have a job! SIMPLE!

Moocher Brothers

I have 2 brothers who TRIED to be moochers. After believeing their "down on their luck" stories, I allowed both to live with me until they got on their feet. They stayed with me at different times. Well, the one turned out to be a drunk. When he refused to go by "house rules" I kicked him out. In Montana in February. Br-r-r cold. The other brother just refused to take responsibility or be held accountable for his decisions so he had to leave, too. He's now in jail needing an address for the parole board so he can get out and he asked me if he could live with me. Nope! They both had their chance and made the choice not to be contributing members of society. I don't have time for people like that, not even my own brothers. And I do not feel guilty.Yes, I think about them oftern. And yes I love them. But I won't be an enabler - my Mom was the enabled when she was alive and I saw how things turned out. That's not how I want to live.

Tragic - get out before you drown with him

This is actually tragic for Tanya. This guy Ryan, will leave her (either literally or by virtue of the fact that he doesn't contribute) holding the bag. Women must learn from the past and not fiegn ignorance...or worse naivete -"oh he's changed".

My exhusband had an affair when our son was 18 months old, he left me. He eventually married this woman (wife #2 - you will have to work to follow this). 3 yrs later when their second child was 8 wks old, she woke up with a Uhaul in the driveway and he announced he was leaving her for, let's call her girlfriend #1. Girlfriend #1 is in it with him two yrs when she intercepts a phone call from a mortgage co. and learns about girlfriend #2. Girlfriend #2 is in about 2 yrs when she learns about the new honey who would become wife #3. Wife #3 learned in Dec when he left on CHRISTMAS EVE after meeting me to drop off our son, and telling her he was going shopping for HER, that he was in fact headed out of town (10 hrs away) to meet wife #2 and visit for the holidays. He is now divorced from wife #3, back with wife #2 and I stand in utter amazement that these women could be for one second foolish to think him a catch.

I am the lucky one. I got away, rebuilt my life, have a thriving wonderful, faith-filled marriage of 10 yrs to the best man God ever put breath in, 3 great kids. My son is awesome, largely because his father's influence was greatly limited to once or twice a year. His father's family has told me over and over what a great job I've done. He is the best 17 yr old EVER!

What's funny too is every last one of these women has called me when he dumped on them. I literally have counseled some through it as friend, yep even the one he dumped me for!

I can say he has always paid his child support though I have never raised it from the original $65 per week since the divorce. My son has a great life. His dad is not a bad guy, I have no ill will, and have never ever uttered one harsh word about him to my son. I have fostered their relationship instead.

i think the whole thing is tragic, and I worry about his other two kids who are now being led back into again by their desperate mom. What will they do when he dumps them again. How sad.

Tanya, move in with your folks, this is not the best you can do. He has NO resume, no credentials as a husband or father. If he kicks butt, gets an atty, asserts his rights, pays child support (and he gets no vote in how she spends it btw - what a jerky thing to think) and acts like a man THEN date him, let him do this slowly. If you throw him in the deep end of this pool with 2 more kids...he will drown and take you down too.

ONE MORE COMMENT ON THE MOOCHER IN THE BASEMENT

If you don't like mornings get a night job, many companies have maintenance at night, security jobs, hospitals run 24/7; and refusing a $10.00 an hour job, a job where I live that pays at least $10.00 is fantastic to start! That would allow anyone in our area a great earning ability! I would have loved to earn that, our level of pay is much less and even being a single Mom I earned from my jobs, (This was about 20 years ago) & one full time job was $5.00, one part time; $7.25, and one was, if I remember another part time; $8.25; the $5.00 an hour was the full time employment, I was so good at that job I was the first and only person to ever be offered a paid vacation, Oh and none of these jobs had health insurance either, but I went back to college, still worked 1 job, cared for kids, and a family member in my home, with the help of siblings in my family to assist while I was away at work or school; the family member needed 24/7 care from severe stroke! Thank God we have a loving family, but I completed my degree, went on to University, and was able to obtain a better job with benefits etc..... work, work, work, just keep going, I am now 20+ years past all the turmoil; but, I can't figure financially how I did it, I now know that I didn't, I had a Wonderful Friend who helped me, He is and did provide! God Provides; and is the only way all of that could have been done He carried all I had to do, and He sure came through for me, like I said nothing could have added up to be able to carry out all the jobs, education and caregiver at home! Not to mention the emotional stress of it all! Amen

05/06 Moochers

caught just a little of the episode today. mark going to work at my fast food job where i have been for 11 years and really want that $180 paycheck. sorry make a little more than that until recently i made more than my mechanic husband . i now make $10 an hour and own my own home..gotta go get that paycheck.

Attn: Ryans MOM

05/06 Moochers

Is tonya that hard up for a husband. A good father would be out working 2 or 3 jobs and be able to pay for his car and cell phone. and pay child support to his childs mother not say i ain't giving any money to his ex girlfirend for child support. Boy you have no choice. The money will be given to Stephanie for her to use for your child without any input from you. Tonya Don't marry Him yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish Stephanie all the luck and support toraise her child and hope things get better.

42 years old and can't get up in the morning is bull you don;t want to. Do you not love your sister? don't you know the stress you are putting on your sisters marriage. don't you care. Go get 3 jobs and support yourself or go to a homeless shelter you bum.

A 18 year old boy who is not going to school and doesn't hold a full time job is a bum, A 42 year old (man?) who is not holding down a full time JOB should be called something more hmmmmmm

a habitual BUM master.

the sister of the habitual bum master, the old saying goes like this- if I give you a fish I feed you for one day, if I teach you to fish I feed you for life,

Tanya; get out now and fast

These types of men abuse you and you won't even know it, they use every penny you have, take from your and his children, refuse to "allow" you to buy for your children the things they need! I know I was married to this same type, he did, after my divorce get a job, supposedly got hurt, sued, etc... I believe he is on his 3rd law suit and our area is small so I do hope he is caught! Anyway, I was an abused child, not from family but from a family friend who babysat his sister and I while I was maybe 4 or 5 years old, set my entire life into a very sad situation, and we, I believe, who were abused sexually, feel as though we deserve to be treated and used, that is what happens to our brains! I know differently now! But for many years, I felt I wore a flashing sign on my forehead, abuse me, I am worthless!!! Since counseling I know differently, and we think we know, but we always settled for less than we should have, never look for love by getting pregnant, you will have another mouth to feed and you will have to do all the work and feeding! Listen to all of your family, they love and want what is best for you! Sorry to hear that your excuses are allowing that person to control you even before you are married, when I married my first husband, I was told I was his property the day after our wedding, on our way home from the hotel we stayed in, my mind just went blank and I stayed way too long! get out before you have 5 children you can't feed, because you will end up working to do everything, I mean everything, including cutting the grass, snow ,if you live where there is snow, fix it all around the house, he will do nothing, just say "I will" and never do it! Get out; family wants what is best for you, not to punish you!

some encouraging words for Tanya

Tanya, this is my first ever response to a show although I have watched Dr. Phil for years. There are some harsh words that have been posted regarding your situation - if you get a chance to see this I hope it will make a difference.

Darling, you are a beautiful articulate young women, I was impressed with your degree of loyalty to your fiancee. I just want to let you know that you deserve so much more from a husband than this guy can offer. I too married young and was very idealistic in my expectations of my husband and I can assure you that something that seems like a small character defect grows exponentially after marriage. Also, when you marry a man you marry his family and there is already a great deal of dysfunction going on there. Please don't rush into marriage with this man, the altar will always be there if that is the decision you choose for your life and children. I know that you feel that Dr. Phil was unfair but he is absolutely right in pegging your fiancee as a "high risk" candidate for marriage. I have always had to make and learn from my own mistakes so I don't have too much confidence that you will read or listen to my letter. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, people can change, but I do not get a feeling of motivation from your fiancee.

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide. I am married again and can't believe the difference between night and day with my first husband and my second husband. My heart goes out to you and I hope that someday you will find happiness with someone that actually deserves you. Carry yourself like a queen and you will attract a king.