Today at approximately 19:37 Greenwich Mean Time an unfortunate man died in Ati, Chad. He was discovered only a minute after motionless on the sofa. The man in question, who shall not be named for legal reasons of international news was 87 years of age upon his death and was the second oldest man in the town. His family still remain deeply shocked by the incident, and demanded a full investigation into the cause of death.

Professional scientists from the Kuishite University of Ndjamena discovered the man had died of natural causes, and claimed they had "proof" of this theory as well. However many of the locals (backed up strongly by George Bush representing the United States of America) agree that he was infact eaten by a Saharan Grue. Although a rare breed, the Saharan Grue has been known to consume their prey by burrowing through them relentlessley. The locals have found evidence that this may indeed be the case, as a borehole was discovered in the man's backside along with grue teethmarks. The body was abandoned after this startling discovery as the grue may still have been inside. Ndjamena police quarantined the university and eventually demolished it to avoid the escape of the grue.

Experts remain confused about the man's death elsewhere in the world, but the poor man's demise due to "natural causes" continues to haunt the family.