Alice Bagged a 'Big' Deer

This is a discussion on Alice Bagged a 'Big' Deer within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up raring to go bag the first deer of the season.
He walks down to ...

Alice Bagged a 'Big' Deer

It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up raring to go bag the first deer of the season.
He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"

Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"

Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along.

Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside of San Marcos, Texas.

Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her, "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."

Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant - much less a deer.

Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots.

Buddy of mine went black bear hunting about 5 years back. Swore he saw the biggest sow through his irons (old 30/30), took aim and shot. Nothing. Was about 200 or so yards away, but was really surprised when the thing just stood there. He got a little closer and took another shot and again nothing. As he started to walk closer, his suspicion arose when it just stayed there.
Finally, when he was about 50 yards away, he stopped shooting after the second shot, he realized why the thing never moved.
He got up close enough to it to make sure he didn't hit the thing. The cow mooed, turned it's head and actually licked him.
Two things he learned from this: 1. He sucks through irons; 2. Get a scope.
This is a true story. Thankfully he missed outright.