8 Ways to Ward Off Loneliness in a Solo Household

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

For some women, one isn’t just the loneliest number – it’s also the most depressing.

People who live alone are much more likely than others to take antidepressant medications, according to a highly publicized 2012 7-year study of nearly 3,500 working-age adults by the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health.

“About 1 in every 4 women living alone had purchased antidepressants versus only 1 in 10 women not living alone,” says lead author Laura Pulkki-Råback, PhD, a researcher and lecturer at the University of Helsinki’s Institute of Behavioral Sciences.

Some people who live alone feel lonely – and that may play a key role in depression, says social psychologist Matthew Zawadzki, PhD, a postdoctoral scholar at Penn State in Philadelphia, who led a recent study on the effects of loneliness in college students.

“My research showed that people who were lonely reported having a more depressed mood and worse sleep quality,” he says.

Other studies have linked loneliness to lower self-esteem, higher blood pressure, poorer immune functioning and an increased risk of dementia in later years.

Social isolation even hastens death in middle-age and older adults, according to a 2013 study by University College London in England, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

At the same time, more people than ever are living alone. Of all U.S. households, 27% are one-person households, with women making up slightly more than half of those, according to the 2010 U.S. Census, the last one conducted. By comparison, singles constituted only 18% of households in 1970.

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

Whatever your reasons for living alone, a rich, fulfilling social life can ward off feelings of loneliness and isolation. Read on for 8 expert tips to help you stay happy while living solo.

Tip #1 to avoid feeling depressed: Keep up your relationships.Take the initiative to make plans and extend invitations to friends, suggests Jessica LeRoy, a marriage and family therapist and an executive director of the Center for the Psychology of Women in Los Angeles.

Ask a co-worker to lunch or happy hour, she advises.

LeRoy’s other ideas for building on existing social connections:

Invite your friends to meet for dinner or go on an outing, and offer to make arrangements.

Reciprocate invitations. No need to throw a big party; having a few people over for snacks, a movie or game night is an easy way to maintain relationships.

Organize an all-ages activity for your extended family, such as a picnic in the park or day at the zoo.

Look through your phone contacts, and call one person whom you haven’t spoken with in the last month.

Do something that’s helpful and rewarding: For example, volunteer to babysit for nieces, nephews or grandkids. Or offer to spend a few hours with an aging relative whose caregiver could use a break.

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

Tip #2 to avoid feeling depressed: Add friends to your network.“It can be really difficult to make friends as an adult,” LeRoy acknowledges.

Yet the world is full of people who would be delighted to make your acquaintance, she says.

So put yourself in situations where it’s easy to meet them. For example, enroll in a class, sign up for a sports league, or join a book or hobby club. You can do something fun while meeting others who share your interests, LeRoy notes.

Or work for a cause close to your heart. For adults without a steady partner, volunteer work is linked with having fewer depressive symptoms, according to a 2012 German study published in The Journals of Gerontology.

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

Tip #3 to avoid feeling depressed: Use social media.Social networks such as Facebook, texting and video-chat services like Skype are great for planning get-togethers with nearby friends and relatives or staying in touch with those far away. They’re also a valuable lifeline to the world if you’re homebound.

But don’t substitute them for real-world interactions, Love says. People who spend less time online and more time socializing personally are happier, according to a 2012 study by Utah Valley University in Orem.

And beware: Online networks can skew your perception of yourself. Your friends’ status updates may make their lives sound more glamorous and interesting than they are. That could make you feel inadequate, LeRoy warns.

Tip #4 to avoid feeling depressed: Re-examine your views about living solo.Some women struggle emotionally with living alone because they think it means they’ve failed.

“Loneliness occurs when you think something isn’t right in your life socially or you don’t feel as loved or included as you want to be,” Zawadzki says.

Remind yourself that living alone doesn’t mean that your social life is lacking. In fact, it may give you more time and energy to invest in friendships and get involved in your community, Love says.

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

To counter negative thinking, LeRoy suggests making a list of all the reasons you enjoy living by yourself. Maybe you like keeping your own schedule or coming home to a quiet house after a hectic day at work.

“I have a list like this in my journal, and I’m constantly adding to it,” LeRoy says. “In those dark moments when I’m feeling a little down, it’s nice to read what I’ve written.”

Tip #5 to avoid feeling depressed: If you’re shy, practice social skills.Meeting people and extending invitations may be more difficult if you’re an introvert. But being social gets easier with practice.

So brush up on social skills by joining a social-anxiety Meetup group or Toastmasters International, an organization that promotes public speaking and leadership. Or take a course on interpersonal communication at a local college or community center.

For example, it’s OK to go to a party and talk to just a few people, he says.

On the other hand, if you’re so anxious or embarrassed in social situations that you agonize over them or avoid them entirely, talk with your doctor or a mental health professional. You might have a treatable anxiety disorder.

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

Tip #6 to avoid feeling depressed: Be prepared for difficult times.Occasional twinges of loneliness are normal, so have strategies to handle vulnerable moments.

To manage loneliness throughout the day, LeRoy suggests:

If your home seems too quiet, play background music. But don’t leave the TV on all day; it draws your attention away and forces your brain to work at sorting out the different sounds, which may increase stress.

Consider adopting a dog or cat, if you enjoy having a pet and can accommodate one. Pet ownership significantly decreased loneliness in older women, according to a 2012 study published in Geriatric Nursing.

Make a list of people to call when you just need to hear a friendly voice.

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

To cope with late-night loneliness, LeRoy recommends:

If negative thoughts keep you awake, consciously replace them with innocuous ones. “I read right before bed, so I’ll think about the characters in the story as I drift off to sleep,” LeRoy says.

Add extra pillows to your bed to make it feel cozier, warmer and less empty.

If you don’t fall asleep within half an hour, get up and do something that occupies your thoughts. Write in a journal about whatever’s troubling you for a few minutes, and then try to get to sleep again, LeRoy suggests.

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

Tip #8 to avoid feeling depressed: Get help if you’re depressed.“If you realize you haven’t enjoyed yourself for a couple of weeks [or longer], that’s a sign of trouble,” O’Connor says.

Other tip-offs that you might be clinically depressed:

Feeling sad, empty or irritable almost all the time

Losing interest in things you once enjoyed

Feeling helpless or hopeless

Having trouble getting out of bed

Sleeping too much or too little

Overeating or losing your appetite

Having trouble paying attention or making decisions

If you’re experiencing some of these symptoms, talk with your doctor or a mental health professional.

If you’re depressed, treatment may give you the push you need to get out of the house and stay socially active, O’Connor says. And that, in turn, will help keep you from giving in to loneliness.

Adults who live alone have an 80% higher chance of having depression than those who live with other people, according to a recent study. But living solo doesn’t have to mean feeling depressed. Here are expert strategies for boosting your mood while on your own...

Could You Be Depressed?Like Picasso, everyone goes through a blue period from time to time. But if you’re depressed, you are experiencing more than just the occasional bad mood or terrible day. Depression affects 20 million people in any given year and is a serious enough disorder to compromise one’s ability to function normally day to day. Find out if you’re just blue or if you might be clinically depressed.

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