Monday Watch List: Butler! UConn! TONIGHT!

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and make candied pecans. Because what nut isn’t vastly improved when coated with a generous shellacking of butter and eight cups of sugar? LET’S GO!

NCAA TITLE GAME – 9:00PM (CBS) Tonight, those crazy Butler Bulldogs get their second straight shot at trying to win the NCAA tournament, an opportunity no one dreamed they would ever have. Last year, they were a missed half court shot away from beating Duke and becoming the most unlikely champion in tournament history. Will they suffer the same fate tonight against UConn? Are they doomed to make it this far only to lose? Or will a little mid-major school from Indiana finally claim the ultimate triumph over all those evil BCS schools? This is the part where I tell you I have UConn winning it all in my pool. So while it would be cool to see Butler win, I’m much more interested in bragging to people the next day that I picked the champ. Go UConn! Crush those little underdogs like the frail and helpless runts they are! ANTICIPATION: EXCITING!

RELAPSE – 9:00PM (A&E) A&E follows up their harrowing “Intervention” series with this new spinoff about high-risk addicts and the sobriety coaches struggling to keep them on the wagon. Tonight, you’ll meet an alcoholic and a meth addict. And really, is there any job on Earth harder than keeping a meth addict away from meth? Whatever that sobriety coach makes, it ain’t enough. ANTICIPATION: SAD!

HIS WAY – 9:00PM (HBO) HBO documentaries takes a look at the life of Jerry Weintraub, a talent agent turned big shot Hollywood producer. Because when you’re a big-time producer, you can do things like get HBO to run a 90-minute enshrinement of your precious little existence featuring compliments from all your famous buddies. ANTICIPATION: CHARMED!

THE HUNT FOR THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN – 9:00PM (NatGeo – an NBC/Universal network) Did you look in the pantry? Because he hangs out in there a lot. Loves Triscuits. ANTICIPATION: YETI!

KIDNAPPED BY THE KIDS – 9:00PM (OWN) This new show on the Oprah network features kids who decide to “kidnap” their workaholic parents in an attempt to get them to put down the Blackberry and spend a little more time with them. And I’m sure that will work for exactly as long as the cameras are on. You kids out there want Dad to pay more attention to you? Then I strongly suggest you have him watch “Relapse,” and tell him that meth looks way cool. ANTICIPATION: INTERVENTIONY!