Refugees refuse to work for tax-dodging Starbucks

After a valiant pledge to hire 10,000 new workers to help the refugee crisis, Starbucks’ history of tax-avoidance has once again become a subject of ridicule and condemnation.

It has emerged that many refugees are refusing to take up positions in the international hot beverage corporation, for a variety of reasons. A statement has been released by Starbucks insisting the organisation’s good intentions.

“Alongside a group of other benevolent powers – including FIFA, Amazon and Tesco – Starbucks is committed to resolving the refugee crisis once and for all.

“We are excited to announce that Chris Brown, Shia Lebeouf and Joey Barton, among other celebs, have confirmed their support in ambassadorial roles for the movement. David Beckham has also expressed an interest.”

The multinational has made clear that it will do everything in its power to change the minds of those who are sceptical of taking up the job offer, and has even proposed a tax break for those who jump on board.

Nonetheless, many refugees fleeing the regional crisis still remain unconvinced. Yusuf al-Aziz spoke exclusively to The Whip via Skype Wednesday evening, noting the shame of working as a hipster barista for a selfish, faceless corporation, was certainly not a pull factor to the West.

“I don’t understand,” began the Raqqa resident, “Why are the only western power-wielders interested in helping this crisis the really annoying and evil ones?”