Sylvie Krekow

Last week, a 17-year-old boy was arrested in Topeka, Kansas, for planning to shoot two
police officers and two administrators at his high school. That story is awful, but at least something good came from the event: a few local
news reporters introduced us to the chillest high school bro, like, ever.

Reporter: What
exactly is going around school? What have you heard?

Chill bro: Uh, I
guess Brandon was plotting to kill some people. That's what I heard.

Reporter: And your
reaction is?

Chill bro: Wow,
man. Like, killing people is heavy.

Heavy stuff,
indeed. It's unclear how or why the news station picked this young man as
an interview subject — we're guessing he didn't volunteer himself as tribute,
because what kind of teen stoner wants to talk to a bunch of adults with
cameras — but at this point, who cares? Thank you, local newspeople and chill bro, for
conjuring something as hilarious as this out of an otherwise depressing story.