DUmmie FUnnies

A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

"We 100% Condemn the Attempted Assassination on Cheney"

The title of this Daily Kos KOmmie THREAD, "We 100% Condemn the Attempted Assassination on Cheney," sounds reasonable enough but when you actually READ what is said, you have to conclude that the Left is seriously deranged. It turns out that the thread was posted strictly for Damage Control PR reasons due to the condemnation yesterday by Rush Limbaugh of the many Huffington Post rants wishing that Al Qaeda had killed Cheney in the recent bomb blast near him in Afghanistan. From the reasonable title, this Kommie thread quickly degenerates into the typical Leftwing hyberbole laced with non-truths and flat out anger. So let us now watch the Left FAIL miserably in their damage control efforts in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, 100% laughing once again at the lunacy of the Left, is in the [brackets]:

We 100% Condemn the Attempted Assassination on Cheney

[This sounds reasonable but I predict you will soon REGRESS to your usual Leftwing Lunacy.]

I think I'm speaking for almost everybody here when I say that I unequivocally condemn the attempted assassination of Vice President Cheney in Afghanistan and that any person responsible for this cowardly act should be jailed for life at a minimum.

[This is the obligatory damage control section of the thread which soon regresses to...]

Notwithstanding my condemnation, there is an organized attempt by Republicans and their talk show minions to try and portray "The Left" (Defined as anyone who disagrees with a conservative at least 10% of the time.) as wild eyed radicals who wish Cheney had been assassinated. That's bullshit! We are not the people who call for killing innocent people. The Right has a monopoly on that.

[...Flat out leftwing lunacy. BTW, it isn't tough to portray the "The Left" as wild eyed radicals. It's merely a matter of copy and paste as we shall see here.]

If you oppose killing an innocent person, say so. If somebody in your party says something along these lines, denounce them or I will presume that you support them by default.

[So you need to denounce all those HUffington Post loonies who advocated the killing of Dick Cheney.]

[Maybe because Beck did NOT advocate killing anybody he deems liberal.]

It's Bill O'Reilly who advocates jailing people he deems "secular humanists." Why has the GOP been silent?

[Maybe because O'Reilly did NOT advocate jailing people who are secular humanists. Or perhaps you are using a Google Search in another dimension not available to us mere mortals?]

It's Rush Limbaugh who has advocated nuking much of the world and killing billions of innocent people. Why has the GOP been silent?

[Because listening to Rush second hand as interpreted by loons is a sure way to get your facts about him WRONG.]

I'm putting my money where my mouth is by denouncing A) the attacks on Cheney and B) any person who openly wishes they were successful.

But will Republicans do the same? Put up or shut up.

[Okay. No problem. They will also denounce the attacks on Cheney and any person who openly wishes they were successful.]

If you support Fox News while Hannity, Malkin, Coulter, or O'Reilly are still employed there, despite their terroristic comments of the past, then shut up because you have no right to denounce anyone.

[The Left defining these folks as making "terroristic" comments because they aren't PC. What next? Will you be condemning the DUmmie FUnnies for making terroristic comments by copying and pasting your lunacy?]

So what will you Republicans do? Will you denounce your terrorist hate mongers like Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly, Beck, and Coulter OR still support them when they talk like Osama Bin Laden.

[A leftwing loon so soaked in his own hate-filled bile that he assumes that everybody else in the world shares his own distortions about conservatives. Sorry if we don't buy into your warped view. And now on to the rants of his fellow KOmmies...]

Don't let the Right Swiftboat us with a lie and smear.

[How about if we "Swiftboat" you with Copy & Paste as we always do in the DUmmie FUnnies?]

We have to be prepared to hit back. Even the most timid remark from someone on the left will be endlessly paraded out and overblown by the right to a breathlessly willing media who blow it up while remarks a hundred times worse from the right are totally ignored. Threatening people who disagree with them with death, either veiled or openly, has been a tactic of many of the big names on the right for years and they need to be called out over and over and over on this. Me, I'm a consistent pacifist and I have no wish to see Dick Cheney dead. I long to see him behind bars.

[ATTENTION NURSE RATCHED! Severe BDS outbreak in Ward Nine!]

I wouldn't put it past Cheney to stage an attempt on his own life to gin up sympathy for himself.

[To all you DUFU newbies out there... If you want to get some great entertainment from these Leftwing Loons you merely need to wait a few moments for each comedic gem to show up.]

He needs to be tried for war crimes. Not Matyred. I bet Bush ordered the damned hit to A make the fat git look brave, or kill the fat git to make him a Matyr. Or They are spinning it to make it look like he was the target.

[Nurse Rached will be arriving soon with your lithium treatment.]

Would love to see war crimes prosecution for Cheney. How do we do that?

[By jumping through the portal leading to the Alternate Reality.]

I think it's really dangerous to pretend that America doesn't have enemies, even if they're not the ones we seem to be pursuing primarily. Al Qaida really exists, as does the Taliban (again), and they must be stopped.

[And this KOmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

America probably wouldn't have enemies like Al Qaeda if it weren't for enemies of America like Cheney.

[See. It's not the terrorists fault that they are terrorists. It's all the fault of guys like Cheney who made them that way.]

I neither clamor for his death nor would I weep over it. But once dead I would probably piss on his grave like I would Reagan and countless other Republican Americans who have trashed not only their country but the world as well.

[Feel the love!]

Dick Cheney is not innocent. Justice has broken down in America. There is no accountability for his crimes because of the power he has. And at that point, there's no basis for saying one is "innocent" until proven guilty. There will never be a process to prove anything, because our country is too corrupt. In that case, I'm not at all against the people we illegally declared war on attacking our leaders. I personally support their initiative in taking it out on the people who deserve it, rather than the citizens of this country.

I'm just saying that this is War. Cheney started it, Cheney knew the consequences and the risks. He's the one who deserves to bare the burden of what he's wrought, even with his own life.

[This sure doesn't sound like the 100% condemnation alluded to in the thread title.]

I'd be out celebrating if they'd gotten Cheney. Impeachment would then be a viable option. Personally, I hope Cheney goes back to Afghanistan often. If I saw Cheney in front of the Capitol (knowing he has a bad heart) I'd challenge him to a race up the steps.

[So much for that 100% condemnation. It was just a bunch of Damage Control PR hype.]

He's created a situation where his life IS in danger everywhere he goes. Payback is a bitch at times. There's an old adage that says that the world is never wrong. If one travels the world and people are trying to mow you down at every corner, it's time to take a hint. That's how I feel.

[Another KOmmie who has fallen off the phony 100% condemnation bandwagon.]

I will admit when I heard about this story I experienced a mild flashback of sorts to the day Ronnie Raygun was shot. Apparently that's troll bait around these parts so I won't go there. Take it for what it's worth, which admittedly may not be much.

[This story brought back happy memories for this KOmmie.]

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Saturday, February 24, 2007

Tom Vilsack Pays The Price For Refusing To Wear The Bear

He coulda been a contendah! I am referring to Tom Vilsack. Here we had a candidate who had almost NOTHING going for him. No name recognition. No charisma. No sense of humor. And almost no personality. However, Vilsack could have been in contention had he only followed my advice to WEAR THE BEAR. Instead Vilsack followed his humorless instincts and remained earnest and deadly dull with the result that he dropped out of the presidential race on Friday. Therefore, the DUmmie FUnnies hereby transfers its endorsement to another candidate. This candidate is hampered by a running mouth and an attitude of extreme narcissism coupled by blowhard stupidity. And the candidate who meets these criteria that would normally disqualify them is none other than Joe Biden. So how can Biden fight the odds presented by his repulsive personality? Simple he needs to WEAR THE HAIR! The first thing people do when looking at Joe Biden is to check out those Chia Pet hairplugs that have sprouted on his head. Since the folks are going to stare in that direction anyways, Joe should just go with the flow and wear all sorts of extravagant and luxurious wigs. That will definitely bring him attention. A Liberace wig would be a good starter rug for Biden. As to Vilsack, few have mourned his political passing as you can see in this Daily KOs KOmmie THREAD titled, "Tommy, We Hardly Knew Ye." So let us now watch the KOmmies act less than mournful in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, again teling Joe Biden to Wear The Hair, is in the [brackets]:

Tommy, We Hardly Knew Ye

[He coulda been a contendah!]

Just two days after pissing on the third rail of Democratic primary politics by embracing price indexing for Social Security, Tom Vilsack is planning an 11 AM CST presser to withdraw from the 2008 race. Why? Money, money, money. He figured that he needed $20 million to be competitive, and he didn't think he could raise it. It's an early withdrawal, but it's a realistic decision. That said, I'm trying to remember any other candidate in the last few cycles who entered the race (as opposed to forming an exploratory committee) and then withdrew in such short order, so long before the first voting.

[You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contendah. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.]

I anticipate all 17 of his supporters will flock to the Edwards campaign.

[17? That many?]

"We have everything to win the nomination and general election. Everything except money."

[Gee, Tom. I thought the wuuuunderful McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance "Reform" law was going to get rid of the influence of big money on poltical campaigns.]

Word is that Vilsack has been after the VP or Cabinet post all along.

[WEAR THE BEAR at a cabinet meeting.]

He was polling at around 14% in Iowa

[A good showing in the home state of a deadly dull candidate.]

but his hair piece looks shiny.

[Sayeth the KOmmie analyzing Biden's Chia Pet hair.]

We won't have Tom Vilsack to kick around any more.

[But we still have his Winnie the Pooh bear to kick around lots more.]

I'm dropping out for the 2012 race. I've only raised $2.49 and a donut so far and I don't think I'll have enough cash by then.

[Is that you, Bill Richardson?]

Universal Hair Care. He would have swept the primaries.Why did he quit?

[Because Vilsack realized that Joe Biden has the monopoly on the Universal Hair Care issue.]

I'm despondent, too, over the $ issue. Incredible! That we're supposed to be the greatest Democracy on the face of the earth and a serious, well-qualified candidate drops out of the race because of the MONEY it takes to conduct a campaign?!!! This is SICK!

Don't you just love how the McCain-Feingold law is working out?]

For the love of Gawd, when the hell are we going to get the damned money machine out of the primaries? This is ridiculous, people. How on earth are we supposed to get a diverse field if the game is limited to those who have the biggest fund-raising machine? Vilsack wasn't on my personal short list, but he's interesting and worth considering. To have him drop out this early just because of funding is completely obscene in my book. Can we PLEASE get public financing of campaigns????

[We already do!]

Please let Biden be next.

[To WEAR THE HAIR!!!]

if he had won Iowa, it wouldn't have mattered. Like John Edwards winning NC, or Obama winning Illinoi.

[Except Edwards did NOT win NC in 2004.]

Vilsack - not bad, a little creepy in a stalinist/mussolini kind of way. Not sure why. Something about big bold icons like that creep me out.

[Maybe its Vilsack's utter lack of humor that turned you off.]

What I'll miss most about Vilsack's candidacy...was the free popcorn that he had at the DNC winter meetings.

[FREE POPCORN? Wow! What a big spender!]

Now even more than ever, am hoping for Gore to jump in.

[Algore would be a breath of hot air.]

I enjoyed his liveblog on Kos a couple of weeks ago and was thrilled with his response to my question...Will you be at Yearly Kos this August? He said yes, as he was last year.

[Vilsack is hoping to take a dip in the chocolate fountain again.]

one thing I will miss the AFLAC/Vilsack duck from the Daily Show. That was funny.

[I'm sort of partial towards the Winnie the Pooh hat doll myself.]

Vilsack's whining about money was pretty annoying, I thought. If he had done or said anything to get anyone interested in his campaign, he could have raised money.

[Vilsack could have had money pouring into his campaign had he only decided to Wear The Bear.]

Hillary and her thugs suck all the oxygen out of politicking. No one is able to amass the monies her machine does. And he/she with the most money wins. Is this fair? My sympathies to Vilsack.

[McCain-Feingold was supposed to cure all that. Remember?]

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

"Clinton, Obama and Edwards - They ALL PAY to PLAY!"

This marks a DUmmie FUnnies first. For the first time a Kewpie Doll is awarded to the DUmmie author of this THREAD for coming up with a title, "Clinton, Obama and Edwards - They ALL PAY to PLAY!" that displays a brief moment of mental clarity. What the DUmmie is referring to is a bidding war between Hillary, Obama, and Edwards for the "consulting services" of South Carolina state senator, Darrell Jackon, who just so happens to be a pastor of a 10,000 member megachurch. In 2003, John Edwards bought, oops, hired the services of Pastor Jackson and surprise, surprise, the good shepherd of the megasized flock, endorsed the Breck Girl. Lost in all this is how you NEVER hear the Democrats mentioning the McCain-Feingold campaign finance law any more. In the not too distant past, this law was hailed as the cure-all for minimizing the influence of money in politics. So what was the result of McCain-Feingold? Other than placing new restrictions on free speech, money is now more important than ever. In fact it is now all important as we can see in this bidding frenzy for the "services" of Pastor Jackson. So let us now watch the harsh money realities of post McCain-Feingold politics slap the DUmmies in the face in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering what the going rate is for political "consulting services" of song writing Swedish Lutheran pastors, is in the [brackets]:

WASHINGTON -- South Carolina is a key primary state, and Democratic White House front-runners Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton competed to hire the same influential African-American consultant -- a state senator who is pastor of a 10,000-member megachurch.

[So nice to know the Democrats don't mix religion with politics.]

Clinton's campaign made a deal, worth at least $10,000 a month, with state Sen. Darrell Jackson's firm, Sunrise Enterprises. The contract surfaced when Jackson earlier this week endorsed Clinton for president without mentioning his company would be working for her.

[Did Jackson put his first $10,000 down payment in the freezer?]

But e-mail exchanges obtained by this column show how the Obama campaign tried to woo Jackson, who was also negotiating with former Sen. John Edwards.

[More bidding than on eBay.]

E-mail exchanges between Obama campaign adviser Steve Hildebrand and Jackson's sister Andrea McCoy, who handles his correspondence, provide a rare inside look at how these kinds of deals are cut.

[Barack the Virtuous...except when it comes to shady land deals and secret bidding for folks who can deliver the votes.]

• 7:40 a.m. Feb. 6. Hildebrand sent an e-mail to McCoy: "Senator, I spoke with David Ploufe, Barack's campaign manager about your contract and we agree to start it on March 15. I'm looking forward to working with you. I'm very glad you are on our team."

[Beward the Ides of March.]

• 6:39 p.m. Feb. 6. Hildebrand gets an e-mail from McCoy, asking for 48 hours before making a "definite commitment" to Obama. "He has received information of which I am not at liberty to discuss and is taking it into consideration."

[Let me guess. This received information was a counterbid from Terry McAwful of the Hillary camp.]

• 9:47 a.m. Feb. 7. Hildebrand e-mails McCoy, "I know that Senator Jackson and Barack spoke last night. Barack is very concerned about this and wants to ensure that he has Senator Jackson on his team. If Darrell has a concern about the contract we proposed, we need to make sure we work out these concerns."

[Translation: "Just tell us how much money we have to raise to meet or beat Hillary's offer."]

• 8:21 p.m. Feb. 7 Hildebrand writes, "I hope this is not problematic. I did leave the Senator a message a couple of hours ago. If there are questions he has, I hope that he will bring them to us. Barack needs his help and we take his possible support very seriously."

[If Barack needs his help, he needs to write a bigger check than Hillary did.]

Obama came in with $5,000 per month was almost accepted until Hillary came in with $10,000 per month....and won.

[Isn't it nice that Pastor Jackson is making his decisions based strictly on the platforms of the candidates?]

Edwards came in after the fact and doubled Hillary's offer, but was turned down, although he had paid and received the endorsement in 2004.

[We are sorry. The auction is now CLOSED.]

"The aide wrote that Jackson had not decided about which contract offer to accept. And the aide hinted to Hildebrand that Sunrise had received another offer for a consulting contract.

[Psst! You need to up the ante! Hint! Hint!]

In 2003, Sunrise was hired by Axelrod and Associates to advise on media buys and consult on strategy for Sen. John Edwards's campaign. David Axelrod, now an Obama adviser, was Edwards's media consultant in 2004. Sen. Jackson endorsed Edwards, who won the primary.

[WOW! What a surprise! Pastor Jackson endorsed Edwards after being hired as a consultant. And now Jackson has endorsed Hillary after his "services" were hired by her. What a coincidence! And now a comment from Pastor Jackson in 2004...]

Senator Darrell Jackson, D-Richland, who is also the pastor of Bible Way Church of Atlas Road, says that he "followed his heart" by advising his congregation he was voting for John Edwards. He said many Atlas Road members were searching for a candidate to vote for. Jackson says his intent was to let them know how he voted, not tell them to vote. "It would have been easier to go with (John) Kerry," Jackson told reporters, but Edwards stressed unifying America across economic lines to bring rich and poor together. "This is my guy, win or lose," says Jackson, who talked to Edwards by phone Tuesday morning. Whether he wins or loses in South Carolina, Edwards promises to come back to visit the Atlas Road congregation, Jackson says.

[Pastor Jackson of the Money Way Church always follows his "heart" when making political endorsements.]

I really hope the General runs. We need someone with some military background.

[This DUmmie must be referring to General Weasley Clark. I guess he hasn't figured out that the general is entirely Hillary's creation.]

This is scary to me.....that money buys votes in this really transparent way!

[Don't you just love the way McCain-Feingold is working out.]

I understand that this is the program....how it works..... I really just didn't realize how deep it goes, and the fact that money exchanges hands openly and such.

[A DUmmie's innocence is shattered.]

That's pretty much par for the course. And wait till you see the GOP dough. It makes our scratch look like chickenfeed.

[If the GOP tried to pull off this stunt, it would be MSM headline news featuring all sorts of outrage about mixing religion with politics.]

Wow.....and then faking like someone's endorsing you cause they like you..... but really its because you paid more money?

[If Breck Girl had been a little faster on doubling Hillary's bid, he could have gotten the pastor's sincere endorsement again.]

Money always talks. The guy wasn't choosing between a Democrat, a Libertarian, a Whig and a Republican, though. He was choosing between three Democrats who have much more in common, issue for issue, than they have differences. And he's gotta eat. And she has the best warchest, and he won't have to wait for his money. He's probably also calculating who will be able to pay the bill the longest, hang in the longest, and if she doesn't make it all the way, will be helpful in handing her machine over to the nominee because it never hurts to curry influence. That's how the game is played. Money talks. Everything else walks. It's always been that way.

[Without that Hillary "consulting services" money, the good pastor would have gone hungry.]

Got it! He's got to eat at the tune of $10,000 per month....

[Hey! Steak, lobster, and champagne doesn't come cheap.]

I don't know anyone who admits to endorsing the practice. They all sigh and call it a necessary evil, the way things have always worked, and oh, what a shame.

[So much for McCain-Feingold.]

but if he is a state senator, and he is selling his endorsement to the highest bidder, shouldn't he be fired from his senate position?

[Why don't you ask Hillary if she should be fired for making the bid in the first place?]

Problem for the this is evil crowd is that he is not selling his vote to highest offer - AP says there were 5 offers on the table with Hillary's not the highest. His endorsement was made before the offers were signed. He is known as a leader and his endorsement is sought by all. She PR firm is known as a quality shop and is likewise sought by all. His integrity is known as solid - so we are left with "it looks bad"

[The Good Pastor with the rock solid integrity.]

I always knew how much money was needed to run a successful campaign, & the more money you have, the better the chances. But silly me, I never knew they pay people who are able to swing huge numbers of voters. I also knew the fundies told their congregations who to vote for, but I've never seen a case this blatant. It's very sad, & I'm more cynical because of this story than I was before. And I was pretty cynical!

[DUmmie innocence shattered. It is such a comical sight to behold.]

Another thing, all this frontloading of primaries is nuts. The people with the most money & highest name recognition will have a huge advantage.

[Think Hillary.]

I just read that Hillary hired H. Reid's son as Harry is neutral and won't endorse her.

[And of course that hire has nothing to do with who the hired hand's father is.]

God I wish Hillary would go away. It sounds like she's literally buying all the primary states. Apparently she needs to spend millions to convince people she isn't an empty pant suit.

[How much will it cost to make you like Hillary?]

Hillary should not get all the heat on this. Obama was in the middle of doing the exact same thing. Edwards did the exact same thing in 2004 and was negotiating again for 2008, apparently. Both buying primaries just as Hillary was.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Even Mister Campaign Finance Reform is backing away from his own ideas and legislation. He wants to raise some serious money, he doesn't want to be at a disadvantage.

[So even McCain is backing away from McCain-Feingold.]

I thought campaign finance reform dealt with PACs and such....Didn't realize that ministers were for sale too. I understood that a favor might beget a favor later on down the line as a thank you or something. That I knew about. I just didn't know that folks actually bid on those that could endorse and that a bidding war could break out.....etc...

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Don't you just love the way campaign finance "reform" dealt with big money in politics?]

I don't like Edwards. I think he's a phony.

[Too late. We already awarded the Kewpie Doll at the get-go on this thread.]

Edwards should demand a retraction. If this is completely bogus. If he didn't have both a contract with and endorsement from Darryl Jackson in 2004 and was not negotiating a new deal for 2008 when Hillary took the ball, as reported.

[Yeah, Edwards will be demanding a retraction right around the time Kerry sends in his form 180.]

LOL - As the AP noted - 5 candidates were trying to both hire Jackson & get endorsement

[Who were the other two? Maybe Vilsack offered Pastor Jackson a bunch of Vilsack pickle jars.]

presumably these emails were provided by Obama and I wonder if any of Jackson's congregation will see these emails, and wonder about their pastor's endorsements...

[Jackson's congregation will wonder when their pastor will share the wealth.]

“If there was no contract, I’d still endorse Clinton,” Jackson said. “This was having thought about the process, who is best able to lead and, quite honestly, which Democrat I think will be strongest come November. It’s not about the contract.”

[Stated Pastor Jackson delivering his comedy routine from the stage of the Laugh Factory. (Note to Jamie Masada: I worked in a blatant pitch for your club.)]

We might as well have politicians offer their endorsements on E-Bay, at least that's out in the open for all to see.

[I LOVE that idea. I figure Pastor Jackson could start the eBay bidding at $5000 with a Buy It Now price of $20,000 for his endorsement. Oh, free shipping with purchase.]

However, there's something tacky and tasteless about preaching God's word on one hand and endorsing a presidential candidate that later hires your company for consulting services.

[Only to be publicly condemned by the MSM if a Republican is on the receiving end of such an endorsement.]

(You can now access the DUmmie FUnnies simply by typing "DUmmieFUnnies.Com" into your URL address box.)

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Monday, February 19, 2007

"SHAVE YOUR HEAD to Show solidarity with troops and support for ending war"

Call it the Britney Spears effect. When she shaved her hair off over the weekend, I thought it was just another story about a goofy drug addicted celeb crying out for help. Now it turns out that it was the genesis of a new political symbol according to the DUmmies---shaving their heads to make a protest statement as you can see in this THREAD titled, "SHAVE YOUR HEAD to Show solidarity with troops and support for ending war." I guess the DUmmies want to hop aboard the Britney Spears messed up celeb bandwagon on this. If they really want to be consistent, they should also snort coke off public restroom toilet seats as Britney has done in the past. So let us now watch the celebs proceed to shave their heads bald in solidarity with Britney Spears in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who never quite recovered from the shock of his father shaving him bald as a joke at the tender age of three, is in the [brackets]:

SHAVE YOUR HEAD to Show solidarity with troops and support for ending war

[Next thing you know, the DUmmie women will be going so far as to suggest shaving their armpits for the same end.]

I mentioned this in another thread as a joke on Britney Spears head-shaving, that maybe if Cindy Sheehan shaved her head, it would draw more attention to ending the war.

[Hmmm... Pied Piper Pitt already shaved his head so you might be onto a DUmmie fashion trend here.]

Then I thought about it for a minute, and this is a pretty good way to show solidarity with the troops and show our support for ending the war for a couple of reasons:

soldiers have to shave their head when they go to boot camp, partly for hygiene reasons, but mainly as a ritual of separation from civilian life. It would show we are equally serious.

[No. It would show you are DUmb but go on...]

In several cultures, including the Bible, head-shaving is a sign of mourning. We would be mourning our fallen troops and our injured democracy.

[Except you are secretly rejoicing over troop casualties.]

Grade school students have had the courage to do this. When a grade school kid has to undergo chemotherapy, often the principal, teachers, and/or students will shave their heads so the sick kid won't stick out like a sore thumb.

[So go ahead and shave your heads in solidarity with Britney Spears. You will be as bald and as messed up as her. Now to hear about follicle deprivation from your fellow DUmmies...]

you could wear the V for Vendetta mask instead, but that could get hot in the summer

[How about wearing a B for Bald mask instead?]

Count me in!

[Will do, Britney!]

So is THIS why Britany shaved her head?

[Yeah. It was strictly a political statement on her part and had nothing to do with the fact that she is a jaded drug addicted celeb desperately crying out for help.]

I'm pretty gray, but not bald. I'm admittedly partial to long hair- if I started to lose my hair, I might have to do the Michael Stipe thing and shave the whole nut; however, I don't think it would look very good on me.

[It sounds like you have the Breck Girl Syndrome. You think about your hair way too much.]

shave half, leave half to grow

[LOL! Yeah, I recommend that look for all DUmmies.]

I quit getting my hair cut in 2002 as a protest against the current regime, and I don't like skinheads either, so, no.

[You also quit bathing in 2002.]

what a bunch of wimps! OK, shave your CAT in protest instead. All seven of them.

[That would result in a CATastrophe for your feline's psyche.]

I've been wearing a shaved head for 13 years. I feel so free. I have no intention of going back to hair. No color, no relaxers, no blow dryers, no curling irons....absolutely free!

[...no brains.]

Would have done it in a heartbeat if the movement came before Britney. Now the average person would think that idiot started a fashion trend.

[Yes. Lots of messed up drug addicted chicks will now be adopting that bald look.]

Uh no thanks. my hair comes down to my hips and I'm keeping it. Anyway it would just look like I was copycatting crazy Brittany.

[Just think of it as copycatting crazy DUmmie.]

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Mookie, Mookie, Lend Me Your Comb

It looks like Mookie al-Sadr has split the Iraq scene for Iran due to too much heat from the upcoming troop surge that the Democrats have assured us can't work. Already the DUmmies are pining for his return as you can see in this THREAD titled, "CNN: Muqtada al Sadr Left Iraq For Iran." So what we have here are supposedly feminist leftwing loonies longing for the return of an Islamo-Fascist who wants to cover all women with ugly black burkhas and treat them like third class dirt. The reason for this is that Mookie's saving grace in the eyes of the Left is that he is anti-American. So let us now watch the DUmmies swoon over their dreamy Mookie in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Mookie has decided to forgo his 72 virgin quota by splitting town on the fly, is in the [brackets]:

CNN: Muqtada al Sadr Left Iraq For Iran

[Tell us again how the Surge can't possibly work.]

a run for the border before it closes? His spiritual roots are living in Qom I do believe.

[It's the Qom before the storm for Mookie.]

He might have been seen by some Shia as a traitor for rejoining the parliament. Of course he could be there to wait out the surge. Some of his staff have left for Iran. this will make it difficult for the US to off the head of the Madhi brigade.

[Meanwhile Mookie is staring at his navel in Qom. Isolated and away from troublemaking.]

Considering what the surge is doing to the Shias in Baghdad, I wouldn't blame Sadr for going to Iran where he would be a lot safer.

[Tell us again how the surge can't work.]

Yes. I'm thinking this is a WH propaganda attempt.

[You mean Mookie is still hanging around his 'hood?]

I don't believe a word of this crap, by the way.

[For your devout belief, you will be receiving a Mookie Man Action Toy.]

Correspondent Michael Ware being MUCH more skeptical of it. Kind of pulling the rug out from under the story.

[Michael Ware will also be receiving a Mookie Man Action Toy. It splits at the first sign of trouble. Batteries not included.]

The CNN White House correspondent was breathless, almost giddy, in being the good stenographer putting out the Bush spin on Muqtada in Iran. No questioning of the info, just repeating it with no analysis. I love how the "senior administration officials: said he fled because of the "surge". From what I've heard from news reports about the "surge", it's a bust. Thank God Michael Ware was on to give a report on the ground in Iraq with some Iraqi realism instead of Bush spin.

[Well now, let's take it from the top & grab some wheels & on the way we'll talk about some cuckoo deals.]

Seems like Fabricated Crap in order to Attack Iran.

[Now you're on the way, miss, & I'm readin' you just fine.Don't cut out of here till we get on Cloud 9.]

He's been there two or three weeks? Wolf Blitzer just said it was a hot breaking story! And I don't give a damn WHERE Sadr ended up--NOBODY NOTICED that he left the country at least two weeks ago?

[I've got smog in my noggin ever since you made the scene.]

Sadr went to Iran? Whoopie ding dong.

[If you ever tool me out...dead, I'm the saddest, like a brain.]

Iraqi official now DENIES Sadr in Iran...

[Baghdad Bob is working again?]

Very suspicious timing coinciding with surge debate. We will have to wait and see how this story develops.

An aide to Mr. Sadr, reached by telephone on Tuesday night, denied that Mr. Sadr had left Iraq and said that the cleric was planning a televised address in the next several says.

[If you ever cut out, you might be a stray cat.'Cause when I'm flyin' solo, nowhere's we're on that!]

it's all the rage these days, getting out of Iraq

[It's because of the surge that the Democrats say can't work.]

Oh of course he's in Iran ...we need at least one other reason to bomb the snot out of an innocent country ...

[Mookie, Mookie, lend me your comb. Mookie, Mookie?]

Nothing but political spin to try and scare the Democrats debating the surge in the House and Senate... You will start seeing Bushies jumping up and down saying the surge is working... We need to get some factual reporting on this to counter.

[What's with this comb caper, baby? Why do you wanna latch up with my comb?]

Can you say, for a fact, that he may NOT catch the next flight back? Methinks this is all a part of our Idiot King's waltz to build up hatred for Iran.

He's been there for weeks but yet it is just now important enough to be newsworthy. Seems like another convenient news plant to up the Iran agenda.

[Well, I beans & I dreams goin', I'm movin' right now. 'Cause that's the kind of scene that I dig...baby, you're the ginchiest!]

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"Step Away From The Jokes, Fox News, Before You Hurt Yourself"

This marks a DUmmie FUnnies first. I am actually agreeing with the basic premise of a leftwing loon. And make no mistake about it, Bob Cesca of the HUffington Post is a flatout loon. He was even mentioned in the DUmmie FUnnies a few months ago over his wacky conspiratorial theories about how the Republicans were going trying to steal the elections. Well, Bob, if the Republicans were going to steal the elections, they sure did a miserable job of it. However, I now have to agree with the loony Cesca in his assessment of the new Fox News "comedy" show that he correctly panned in this HUffington Post THREAD titled, "Step Away From The Jokes, Fox News, Before You Hurt Yourself." It flat out STINKS. I mean it is sooooo bad that I am now suspecting that the writers are liberals deliberately trying to sabotage that show. Should you think I am exaggerating, take a look at this VIDEO clip of the show. One can only conclude that the writers are either purposely undermining the show or are so lacking in comedic talent that they need to be terminated faster than Amanda Marcotte was removed from the John Edwards campaign. So let us now watch Cesca and the HUffies slam the new Fox News "comedy" show in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, in the awkward position of mostly agreeing with the HUffies, is in the [brackets]:

Step Away From The Jokes, Fox News, Before You Hurt Yourself

[Better yet...Step Away From The Writers, Fox News, Before You Hurt Yourself."]

They've forced me to do it again. Fox News Channel has "leaked" something on the internets that's so awful it's forcing me to actually promote it. As with avoiding mentions of Ann Coulter's books, I try not to give promotion -- even negative promotion -- to certain things which are both ridiculous and meaningless.

That is, unless such items really, really deserve to be mocked at length.

[Bob Cesca might unwittingly be doing conservatives a favor here. By highlighting just how horrible the Fox News "comedy" show is, he might help that network decide to dump those writers before that show can embarrass conservatives any more.]

And that brings us to FNC's new Daily Show knockoff titled The Half Hour Comedy Hour. Oh wait. That was a show on Comedy Central, like, 20 years ago. The new FNC show is actually called The 1/2 Hour News Hour and there's a reason why the "comedy" part was left out of the hackish and oh-so-clever title (half-hour + an hour show = knee slapping awesomeness). Obviously because, well, you know. There's no comedy.

[Also no originality nor creativity.]

How do I know there's no comedy? For starters, there's this YouTube video leak.

[Correct. Check out the VIDEO. It is so horrible that it is embarrassing to watch.]

Made obvious by the clean compression, it's clearly a leak from the producers or FNC or both designed to generate a buzz, which I'm now feeding. But here's the thing. If they're going to leak a segment of the show, they should have avoided what is rumored to be a laugh track. I'm not sure why they didn't run through the show with an actual laughing audience, but I could probably fire off a list of reasons. The first being that, as we all know, there aren't many funny Republicans.

[Wrong. It's just that there aren't many Republicans nor anybody else who find this Fox News horror show to be FUnnie.]

So finding a funny a pair of Republican co-hosts was probably a challenge, but finding an audience who would actually laugh along with those hosts must've been impossible, and hence the apparent laughter sound effects.

[A repetitive laugh track at that.]

Then there's the unintentionally hilarious Republican racism in the show. The attempted joke in which the white male host compares Senator Obama to former Washington, DC mayor Marion Barry was weird and awful, especially considering the wide variety of, say, white politicians and public figures who have used cocaine. Like the president.

[And here we have a sneak preview of what would happen if Obama were nominated. If you oppose him for any reason then you're a LOUSY racist.]

To be fair, there are several funny liberals who occasionally employ racist humor. Most of the time, though, the successful ones, like Howard Stern, use it for satirical purposes. But anyone who listens to Howard knows he's not a racist and his intention is to expose its hatred and hypocrisy.

[Ah! The old double standard. I bet Cesca finds Sheets Byrd to be hilarious.]

However, when it comes from a network which has employed, promoted and shrugged-off racism with a wholly serious tone (here, here, and here for example) it doesn't sound like satire, it simply sounds racist. That said, it's an easy way to attain cred and laughter from Fox News viewers who are either racists themselves or who simply accept it with a chuckle. The joke wasn't meant to satirize and mock racism, the joke was designed to make a point that, apparently, black politicians use cocaine. You know, because they're all black and can't be trusted in positions of authority -- what with all their tar baby drug habits. That's racism. And it got the biggest (fake?) laugh of the segment.

[The "comedy" show didn't sound racist. It just sounded STUPID.]

Not surprisingly, the second biggest (fake?) laughter of the show came in reaction to the title of a spoof magazine called BO: Barack Obama Magazine. I just snarfed, because B.O. is too funny. Here's a perfect example of how Republicans don't understand satire. If Senator Obama was known to have body odor, then the joke would've been funnier. But to my knowledge, he doesn't. Then again, he is a black and they're usually all stinky and black-smelling, aren't they? Seriously, it's a terrible joke.

[Songwriter Charles Henrickson of the Free Republic did a quick B.O. joke way back in December. At least he had the sense to quickly drop it after first use rather than beat it to death like the Fox News "comedy" show did.]

Fox News should never expect the "greatest" anything praise for the The 1/2 Hour News Hour. Not even from Republicans.

[Don't worry. Conservatives already HATE that show for the most part.]

It's no stretch to suggest that successful artists are generally liberal. Creating effective art requires an open mind and, generally speaking, conservatives tend to have trouble with, you know... the whole open-mindedness thing. Additionally, liberals are by-in-large blessed with a degree of self deprecation -- an important trait for comedy -- while conservatives tend to be more self-assured, sometimes bordering on delusional in the case of say, Limbaugh or Hannity. Republicans are good at certain things -- making trains run on time for one. And they can certainly appreciate good comedy. They just can't create it.

[And this is why Fox News needs to drop that "comedy" show and/or writers pronto. The main effect of this show is to make conservatives look unjustly unfunnie. BTW, Bob, the FUnniest show on the Tube is currently South Park which EXCELLENTLY skews liberal pretentions. Think about that while driving around in your Pious Car. And now on to the HUffie critiques...]

The tone of the jokes DID stink, but the Gilligan's Island laugh track helped - or I wouldn't have known when to laugh. The opening camera pan and set design is a direct cop from the Daily Show. Looks like Comedy Wanna Be hour?

[An unoriginal show with an unoriginal laugh track.]

The laugh track would run the entire length of the show, but the first 10 minutes would be the sound of people groaning and getting up to leave. Was this horrible or what? Don't be surprised when Carrot Top makes a reality show and steals this POS's spot. This show doesn't even appeal to people that find Saturday Night Live funny. Fox is dropping the ball again with new shows.

[I would like to see Gallagher on a stage with this "comedy" show on a TV set and then smash it with a sledge hammer.]

Yikes. They need writers desperately.

[Yikes. They need to fire writers desperately.]

As a member of the entertainment community, I would be ashamed to be associated with such dreck. The futures of their careers have been sealed. In cement shoes. Bluck, I've got to go drink a gallon of grey water to get the taste out of my mouth.

[Most members of the conservative community would be ashamed to be associated with such dreck.]

i dont actually like them but there are at least 2 arch conservatives that (semi) consistenly do funny stuff. trey parker and matt stone.

[South Park RULES!!!]

They should just rerun episodes of Hee-Haw.

[Just running the station signoff signal would be an improvement.]

No living republicans are humerous, few are rational, most are consumed with greed, and all are full of their own self-importance. They stand for national stagnation and moral decay.

I doubt anyone in the studio was laughing, even the paid hands. They were either cutting their wrists or sending out resumes.

[LOL! That explains why they had to use a phony sounding laugh track.]

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Loony Edwards Blogger "Quits" Campaign

The quotation marks in the title of this DUFU edition are intentional. Although loony Edwards blogger, Amanda Marcotte, apparently "quit" the campaign, it is more likely that she was fired AGAIN. Again? But...but didn't John Edwards show backbone by standing by her when her extreme anti-Catholic postings came to light? That was the OFFICIAL story. What I have been hearing is that, according to Salon.Com, the Edwards campaign (meaning the Breck Girl or his wife) FIRED Marcotte only to rehire her back when there was such a large backlash among the nutroots. Of course, Edwards could not risk losing the Catholic vote in a general election so extreme pressure was put on Marcotte to "quit" as happened last night as you can see in this Daily KOs KOmmie THREAD titled, "Amanda Marcotte Resigns." Lost in all this loony Edwards blogger hoopla is the role of Elizabeth Edwards. My strong guess is that this whole scandal was brought about because Elizabeth wanted to hire a couple of feminist "You Go Girl" bloggers for the Edwards campaign. It says a lot about her utter lack of judgement that she either did not investigate their past rantings very carefully or actually agreed with their lunacy and didn't see it as a roadblock to working for Edwards. Evidence of Elizabeth Edwards' utter lack of political discernment exists in the fact that she has posted on occasion in the loony left DUmmieland. And to post on that forum means you have to register as a DUmmie. So let us now watch the Breck Girl's campaign sink before our eyes in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering what other disasters Mrs. Breck Girl will bring to their campaign, is in the [brackets]:

Amanda Marcotte Resigns

[Put "Resigns" in quotes.]

It's a shame, really, that after a victory for the bloggers, Amanda has felt obligated to resign. I don't blame her for a second - I just wish that it had all worked out.

[A VERY short-lived victory for the bloggers.]

Speculation below

Option 1: This should be taken at face value. Knowing that you might be a liability should you ever make one snarky joke would really suck the life out of blogging pretty quickly, I think. You want to go out on your own terms, but it's clear that this fight is going to hurt you. I think this is still the most likely option.

[I think this is still the most UNlikely option.]

Option 2: This was The Plan. Edwards's strategists got together and decided they couldn't go out without a show of strength to the netroots, an then asked for a resignation a few days later. I'm skeptical of this one, not least because I don't think Amanda would agree to it.

[You're getting warmer...]

Option 3: Edwards changed his mind. After sticking with her early, he bailed and asked for a resignation when he saw the right didn't go away. Ick, but I think it's still a possibility, though I like John Edwards and would hope not.

[You're now red hot.]

Option 4: ???

[Option 4: Edwards first fired her (through his campaign). Then when he saw the nutroots revolt, he changed his mind and rehired her (while pretending Marcotte had never been fired in the first place). Finally, Edwards saw that Marcotte would eventually be poison for him so she was fired AGAIN (pressured to "quit").]

It's hard to imagine Amanda agreeing to get fired as part of some charade.

[Unless there was a sizable $$$ resignation bonus involved.]

I'll miss having her work for Edwards, who's my guy, but at least we can look forward to the next year and a half at Pandagon being filled with hard-hitting classic Amanda posts.

[You can look forward to her full blown lunacy again. Too bad Elizabeth Edwards somehow never caught what was staring her in the face.]

I can't wait for her first post, Donohue may now know what fury hath of a woman scorned... 9th level of hell might be a safer place for him to hide!

[You won't have to wait long. Marcotte has already encouraged her Pandagon readers to file bogus COMPLAINTS with the IRS against Donohue.]

feel like I am on a different planet than most of you here on this issue - she said very outrageous things, and acts shocked, I tell you, when people are outraged. (and I am not talking about Donohue, I am talking about mainstream people). Where is the personal responsibility that we are looking for? Not here.

[And this KOmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

So you were offended. Big deal. I wasn't, and a lot of other people weren't. Jesus H. Christ, grow up already. The takeaway message here is that Donohue won.

[The takeaway message here is that the Breck Girl folded.]

I cannot fathom why this person is such a cause celebre. From her writing (typing?) that I have read, she cannot go a paragraph without using obscenities; her disregard of the facts in the Duke rape case makes me think she has an enormous sense of resentment and with it, entitlement. Which is all fine on her own but would be a disaster in the crucible of a presidential campaign.

[And yet she was most likely handpicked by Elizabeth Edwards. You go girl!]

I am glad she resigned, for Edwards' sake. (and I would bet Mrs. Edwards had something to do with that - she is no one's fool.)

[And I bet that Mrs. Edwards had something to do with not only the "resignation" but the initial hiring as well.]

And another thing, take your precious Duke lacrosse players and stick them where you think I am going to say you should stick them. You'd think they'd suffered the gravest injustice the world has ever seen.

[Yeah. Those Duke lacrosse players should have shut up and meekly accepted the phony rape charges brought against them by an out of control prosecutor.]

Amanda Marcotte was right. And didn't go nearly as far as I would. Perhaps she can't be useful working for the Edwards campaign, but she certainly can be useful taking on the radical theocrats.

[But NOT the radical Islamists who are blowing people up. That's taboo.]

I don't think Edwards' people vetted her enough. There's a huge number of posts to read through, and they probably only went some of the way.

[Elizabeth would have had to read past a couple of sentences to see the Pandagon lunacy. A daunting task.]

Time to close your mouth and read Sam Harris and Dawkins and get a life. It is after all, all you have. Everyone you know and love will die. There is nothing after this. The coyote does not wait for "last rites" for his prey. Use the life given to you, don't credit this to an all powerfull being, own up to it. It's yours, don't waste it thinking something bigger than you is in charge, you are in charge of your life. No excuses, no 5 hail marys, it really is all up to you. Get over it. There is still wind in the trees, and stars at night. If you listen closely you can also hear the coyotes homing in on their kill.

[If you listen closely you can also hear the giant pink rabbit closing in on you.]

This is why we have to retake the media and restore the fairness and equal time rules, as well as breaking up huge media conglomerates.

[Is that you, Hugo Chavez?]

i suspect that she was given a set of ground rules that she'd have to play by in order to remain employed. Said ground rules were strict enough that she would feel muzzled and decide to leave on her own.

[The ground rules were "Just Shut Up!"]

Conspicuously Absent ...was a shoutout to John for sticking behind her. She did credit the blogosphere in general, though

[Perceptive observation about the lack of a shoutout to John over her shutout.]

The conservatives whisper, "Boo!" and the Democratic consultants jump a mile. Edwards "fired" the wrong people.

[Maybe he should have fired his wife who caused this problem to begin with.]

I too think the absence of platitudes about the Edwards campaign is telling.

[Yup!]

If she was doing the right thing for Edwards then why didn't she thank him for standing up for her, and why didn't she say something positive about him and the campaign? Something like, I still believe John is the best candidate... Sorry, but I think they threw her overboard, or froze her out.

[Sorry, but I already used up my Kewpie Doll quota for this thread.]

I really hope though, that Edwards did not back down to this.

[And I bet you really hope the leperchaun will bring you a pot of gold.]

Swiftcrossing. We need a name for this tactic. It needs to be branded as the smear it is, so people outside blogworld can understand what's going on.

[The Breck Girl was busy fussing with his hair and purchasing a Wal-Mart Playstation 3 on the sly.]

I'd wager she wasn't pushed out, but rather they didn't downplay the fact that she would be a liability to the campaign. She could figure it out.

[And an envelope full of resignation bonus also helped ease her departure.]

Really sad - and let me also say that I'm disappointed in Edwards for accepting the resignation without at least a statement of support. The entire incident had helped, rather than harmed, his candidacy IMHO and now it looks as if he caved, whether it is called "resignation" or not.

[Thank you for correctly putting "resignation" in quotes.]

I hope that Amanda becomes the best goddamned bitch in America and...

[She faces stiff competition from Hillary in that department.]

Amanda, will you marry me? And have my babies? And together we can topple the Bush government.

[Is that you, Rosie O?]

Ultimately, Edwards caved. He could have gone to Amanda and told her that he would not be intimidated by reactionary right wingers, and that he insists that she stay on the campaign. Clearly, he did not do that. Ultimately, Edwards caved.

[Edwards was for Amanda before he was ultimately against her.]

Edwards caved. It was reported that Edwards fired Amanda, then rehired her once the blogosphere made a big stink. Then, his defense of her was a day late and a dollar short. Rather than telling Malkin and Donohue to go screw themselves, he instead released a statement about how personally sickened he was by Amanda's words, but that she could stay with the campaign if she kept her mouth shut. A few days later, she's gone. Hard to blame her, knowing that her boss didn't have her back.

[John Edwards has your back...NOT!]

What the right wing wanted was to damage Edwards. They got their wish, but not by my hand. Edwards damaged himself by not standing behind his people. This episode was a test. The test was comprised of a single question: will you stand up for yourself in the general election against the dark forces of the right. We saw John Kerry fail the test in 2004, and now we saw his running mate fail the test this week. Better now than a year from now, I guess.

[At least Hillary is smiling.]

Edwards made himself look weak... By flip-flopping back and forth - hired, fired, not fired, resignation accepted. Ultimately, the fact that Amanda was hired will be less damaging to the campaign than Edwards' response to Donohue, that poor excuse for a man.

[Whenever Edwards flips, you can be sure he will follow it with a flop.]

The campaign never should have hired her in the first place, given the inflammatory nature of some of her comments. Or rather, they should have gotten out in front and publicized her comments themselves. Killed the issue before it ever got started.

[Send a Thank You note to Elizabeth Edwards for that hire. You go girl!]

Sorry - Edwards should have made sure a decent interval passed before he accepted her resignation (if that's even what she really wanted). Unfortunately, Edwards did the very thing all of us were afraid of - become another Democratic candidate who failed to hit back hard at a typical right wing smear attack.

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Friday, February 09, 2007

John Edwards Rehires The FIRED NUttie Leftwing Bloggers

Lost in all the hoopla about John Edwards refusing to bow to "rightwing" pressure by keeping his NUttie leftwing bloggers is the fact that Edwards actually did bow to pressure by FIRING them only to be forced to rehire them due to leftwing pressure from the nutroots. At least that is the report according to this Salon.Com ARTICLE which states: "After personal phone calls to the bloggers from the candidate, the Edwards campaign has rehired the bloggers who were fired yesterday, according to sources inside and close to the campaign." If this Salon article is correct, this shows just how SPINELESS Edwards is. First, under pressure, he fires the bloggers. Then when his nutroots went into open revolt, he reversed course and rehired them. Not exactly something here we are looking for in a leader. Of course, an enterprising reporter out there could ask Edwards DIRECTLY if he did indeed FIRE the two NUttie bloggers before rehiring them under pressure. I'm not exactly holding my breath waiting for a representative of the MSM to ask Edwards that very appropriate question but perhaps a member of the Pajamahadeen could ask that question of Edwards during one of his campaign stops. So let us now watch the Huffington Post HUffies react, in this THREAD titled, Edwards Decision To Keep Bloggers May Risk Catholic Vote," to the news of Edwards "standing by" (rehiring under pressure after firing) his two NUttie bloggers in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who still awaits the answer from Edwards to the question posed above, is in the [brackets]:

Edwards Decision To Keep Bloggers May Risk Catholic Vote

[Accordint to Salon.Com he didn't exactly "keep" the bloggers. He rehired them under leftwing pressure after firing them under pressure.]

WASHINGTON - Inside the Edwards campaign, there was what politicians like to refer to as a healthy debate over whether or not to fire two bloggers who had written about Catholics in ways that the candidate said "personally offended me."

[A healthy debate by Edwards consisting of "Will it help or hurt me more to rehire the bloggers I just fired?"]

One of the bloggers, Amanda Marcotte, wrote on the blog Pandagon on Dec. 26, "The Catholic Church is not about to let something like compassion for girls get in the way of using the state as an instrument to force women to bear more tithing Catholics."

[That's actually one of the nicer things she said about the Catholic Church.]

In the end, Edwards decided to keep Marcotte and Melissa McKwen on staff. But "it was a tough decision," a campaign adviser said in an interview today, "and there was a lot of back and forth. It was certainly tough balancing what they've said in their private lives with how we want the campaign to be represented."

[Back and forth meaning firing and rehiring under pressure.]

It wasn't that it was so hard standing up to the demands for their firing from Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, whose main constituency seems to be TV bookers.

But there was a balancing act the Edwards aide did not want to discuss -- the choice between the passionate primary-season kingmakers in the blogosphere and the moderate religious voters any Democratic nominee will need to win a general election -- and the campaign chose the former.

So, there will be other purity tests for the candidate to fail in the blogosphere. But did Edwards just lose the Catholic vote? The aide sighed. "I think people will see the statements and know where John is coming from; people know those aren't John's views."

[John's views are whatever he thinks will get him the most votes.]

Comments in the blogosphere today overwhelmingly cast the issue as a no-brainer: Are you with us or against us? For many, it was a simple matter of whether Edwards would stand up -- for progressives, under pressure, and to the opposition.

[John was against the NUtroots before he was with them...at least for now.]

And even among Catholic liberals, Marcotte's comments were widely seen as hurtful.

At Commonwealmagazine.org, the online version of the liberal opinion magazine, Eduardo Penalver posted a piece that calls Donohue "an embarrassment who obviously doesn't hold himself to the same standards he holds for others."

Yet he goes on to say that, "As much as it pains me to say it, I think Donohue may have a point in this case...Marcotte's post goes beyond simply criticizing the Church's positions on contraception, etc. on the merits, and attacks the institution as a whole in ways that resonate with traditionally anti-Catholic rhetoric from the bad old days."

Edwards issued a statement today saying: "I've talked to Amanda and Melissa; they have both assured me that it was never their intention to malign anyone's faith, and I take them at their word.''

[They sured fooled everybody on that one. Either that or they are the WORST writers in the world to be so "misinterpreted.]

After reading that, Penalver added to his piece: "The comments on Marcotte's blog were clearly intended to offend...I think the vast majority of Catholic voters see that."

[But...but didn't you read that they said that they really REALLY didn't mean to offend?]

"For Edwards to take these two women at their words -- that they did not intend to offend -- is pretty much to tell those who are offended that there is something wrong with them."

[John Edwards to offended Catholics: "You have LOUSY reading comprehension skills." And now to read the reactions from the HUffies...]

Pretty hard choice, but the comments these bloggers made are not all that bad. Frankly I think they are correct. Now I know Edwards has to pander to the morons who still buy into the whole christian thing, but I wait for a day when he and other smart people wont have to.

[A HUffie anxiously waiting for the day that Edwards can tell Catholics how he REALLY feels.]

If Edwards stood up to the FR and kept the bloggers on, I think that's terrific. But, I read hear on HuffPo that he had fired them. If THAT'S true, and he then caved into pressure from the LEFT to re-hire them, then I question his principles. Anyone know the real story?

[BINGO! According to Salon.Com, Edwards FIRED the two NUttie bloggers before rehiring them. As to the real story, don't hold your breath waiting for the MSM trying to find out. It will be up to individuals at the Edwards campaign stops to find out (hopefully with video running). An evasive answer from Edwards will mean that he did fire them before rehiring the bloggers.]

Edwards did the only thing he could to save his campaign. It won't be his final test. But if he had failed this one, he would have been finished.

[So much for the silly idea that Edwards actually acted out of principle and not political expediency.]

Mr. Edwards certainly made the right choice. Had he fired the bloggers I would have to completly write him off as yet another pandering, gutless wimp. We need a real leader to fight the Republicans, not someone who will compromise thier integrity to win votes.

[According to some reports, Edwards DID fire the bloggers before rehiring them.]

Think the smear campaigns have gotten a little old. The public is getting wised up.

[According to the Left, "smearing" someone is what happens when you ACCURATELY quote the loons.]

I really like John Edwards. I think he did the right thing. The cowtowing, back peddling, apologies,defensive strategy doesn't work.

[According to reports, backpeddling is EXACTLY what Edwards did. The reports state that Edwards FIRED the bloggers before rehiring them under pressure.]

If he loses the Catholic Vote over something that stupid, then, noone should vote Republican at all based on the scum they hire as consultants and advisers. Besides, John is a Baptist and I am certain he will not lose their vote.

[John the Baptist already lost their vote in North Carolina in the 2004 presidential election.]

Read the Gospel of Judas pew man, learn something for a change.

[Theological instruction from a member of the NUtroots.]

Edwards did what he should have done: he took the time to treat his employees fairly and told them to be civil. I wish many employers everywhere would take the same approach.

[You mean rehiring their employees after FIRING them?]

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