Wednesday, August 9, 2017

May I, never forget the instant belly laugh freedom from thinking I have to defend myself from getting demonized my whole life as a male, when anyone of this Duality Fake-matrix/Mate fakrix can take, any criticism as praise, considering the Fatherless Earth paradigm shunning-quarantine we suffer self-hate narcissist-demonizing social-norm on/in/with Karmic divisive-gender xenophobic role-reversal lifetimes.

It seems normal to demonize men, but female demonizing males who say OUCH is, like when the Vatican first admitted there was a sex-abuse problem, but their cannibalism-distraction perspective of the ‘real’ problem was too many people wanting to talk about sex abuse, not pedophilia. It seems normal to believe little girls are precious children sort of Royalty, and even more normal to demonize Patriarchs, so who, but we 3d’ers can’t speak about the most is which, and whoever, thitherto that it must be the ones who are, really in charge, that we ‘can’t talk about’.

These un-kinds of rationalizations come from a need to defend/attack myself for getting demonized all my life as a Man , so when I prayed to Holy Spirit, very sincerely today about trusting that I am OK, and I don’t want to act out, by defending myself any more, “But God, They’re pickin on Me” began an uproarious jiggly belly laughter reverberating inside Heaven. The subtext came with this lighter inspiration, that totally relieved my soul-reconciliation “I can take any criticism as praise considering the stinky-eye Duality source, and that reactive criticism identifies the real censuring guilty 3d paradigm-fail devotees, whose shame, always has an angry face.”

Let’s imagine men are demonized on a regular basis by women, and men altogether, as if the collective refer to “uh Men”, or “oh Boys” to justify their feeble excuse for, even being here, much like we refer to how we demonize race-hatred social-norms? “Which black man raped that white woman?” comes to mind, or ‘they’, really can dance, as if blacks can’t say OUCH either, so we make them dance by demonizing-zing 6 shooter bullets with a hanging rope handy in case they try to defend themselves.

I wonder if it’s just me, or do we demonize women too, like we demonize men, any who in their right social-norm demonizing mind can’t deny how much female demonizing is hidden in the Matrix for those poor mirror-double picked on souls too? So we demonize both physical-role/gender-role/sexual roles, as if this demonizing mirror-double zing-zing ‘right back at ya’ is the illusory experiential Karmic divisive-gender demonizing Ping Pong role-reversal switchback lifetimes of misery, that defines this physical-role undead-paradigm from lost-soul mirror-miming Hell.

The idea for all the belly laughing vibration of higher light frequency relief ‘Jigglies' comes from uh oh, I forgot for a minute that, if I am getting demonized for saying OUCH about the Matrix, then it’s a ‘good’ thing to upset the social-norm Prison Mob, that demonize every possible high frequency dog whistle, most 3d’ers can’t ever hear. Since I was, very abused by Matriarchs, we want to decide whether my saying OUCH is revealing a personal trigger, or my saying OUCH reveals my Spiritual courage to give my pain the voice that, maybe we all deserve, and are so deep in the Matrix we can’t even; don’t want to, even; and won’t sacrifice all the vestments we, even have sold our 3d prison sex-slavery owned souls, to avoid Vatican demonizing child-sacrifice it seems to me.

The truth doesn’t care who says it, but we do? Race xenophobia is a real demonizing harm, that we need to talk about, but we don’t. Engendering Prison Planet’s Quarantine Mother-paradigm name is one of those, obvious things we can’t discuss, but I do. Uh oh; another continuing ‘Jiggly’ is taking over my need to, not have to defend/attack myself again… Ok OK OK back to weaponizing serious demonizing-zing Earth bullet factory: I can honestly say that if we, accidentally on purpose discovered free energy, even without Ascension Big Oil assassination, 3d Demonizing-xenophobic Earth would weaponize it, as fast as we weaponize our children, and demonize anyone, who wants to talk about ‘that’ social-norm blast on the ole Horn Hang-man whistle Bang Bang hooter-celebrating anger-denied Mom~hood Vatican-posse Mob-worship six shooter too.

I am grateful for self-serving Heaven-channeling women silently defending/attacking themselves about my saying OUCH, and, even more grateful for my forgiving women, as myself too, because Today if I am upsetting others, still pitifully clinging to the Physical-role Matrix, then it’s a relief to see how much I, still want to blame women/myself in mirror-shame too, from what my Mother did/do and, still does to narcissist-program Fake-matrix-me Satanically Correct demon-collectively inside.

Very little, if any of us affirm my suffering sex-slavery, and murder with my Matriarchs, and then once Holy Spirit did for me what no 3d’er proved was possible for this Mother-matrix Earth, those that, never got the chance to validate my Patriarch-Patsy protection/projection blame-suffering want to drag this Mafia Mother Matrix into Heaven with them, where Holy Spirit is the one doing the original inspiring Belly Laugh relief for bofus/allus/ soul gambling-doofus authentic gender-freebies.

“Oh you can’t get to Heaven little man in the boat, cause the gosh darn thing won’t even float; I ain’t a gonna grieve my Lord no more…”

I “Love" to admit it, but I have been captivated by the constant Blackmail battering of this Child-sacrificing malevolent World, so that I ‘want’ to surrender to Holy Spirit, by turning within, as a new humble priority. Sex-slavery robbed me of my soul, as a child, yet once I realized everything difficult, that happens enhances my devotion to turn even, more within ONENESS Spirit Conscience forgiveness nurturing, instead.

I fought like Hell to work, very hard for Money to, barely survive, but after a few years of meditation, and forgiveness prayers to Holy Spirit, to do the difficult forgiveness of others, as myself, more money came to me from Spirit, right through other benevolent Sources, than I ever, even knew about, before surrender. I “Love” to admit that Money doesn’t come from hard work, or social-norm Blackmail, but comes from Source, just like everything else, we need to ‘thrive’, instead of, ‘barely survive’ in addiction to this Child-sacrificing malevolent World.

After losing connection to my, own Conscience, I have become a kinder feeling empath, and a constant seeming mistaken threat to others suffering, just like me, before I sat down, closed my eyes, and meditated my suffering ass off. Like kindness comes from within Spirit devotion, so too, does being able to feel again, without letting those ephemeral duties control my reactive behaviors any more. Money, kindness, and feelings come from turning within, to ask for help to forgive all my captors that, still suffer much tortuous regret for forcing me, to do things out of fear, that no Child would, ordinarily want to do.

After annihilation traumas of the lower fourth dimensional ‘murky unkind’, everything outside triggered my reaction to live in the past swamp, ‘as if’, so, as I became more addicted to the outside Illusion of, more fear piled up onto, more traumas, I “Love” to admit that, with a gift of desperation, I became a, very willing candidate to surrender to something else, besides this unholy smelling foul-World of sulfur-predator crap. Now I see, all suffering evidence, as a gift from ONENESS to have compassion, and Mercy for, all who, still haven’t turned within to receive Money out of nowhere, and become a kinder feeling person, instead.

I am more sensitive to Blackmail than I have, ever realized, and even that’s a gift now, because I used to blame myself, ‘as if’, all evil was my fault, but NOTHING can, ever be further from the Truth. I was a beautiful innocent Child, and I, still am, inside, no matter what I used to think, and no matter what constant Blackmail, still wants to make me feel that lost-soul way. Blackmail is a constant battering here in Karmic Hologram miming-mirror Earth Paradigm, and who knew; before I turned within, where enlightening compassion makes me feel like a ‘kind kid’ with pocket treasures full of Sparkling Golden innocent-kaleidoscope perceptions again?

When I surrendered to Holy Spirit, Money was the furthest thing from my new mind of Delight, and I, certainly was convinced, that I would, never become a kinder feeling empath, ever again. Getting old had become a ‘given’, but turning within has made, even gettin-gold a ‘variable’ out of my getting younger now, every time Holy Spirit welcomes me inside, where eternal youth commands, all kinder feeling empathic Mountain Top kindergarteners.

Money, Holy Spirit, my soul, kinder feeling empath, forgiveness, my Conscience, compassion, Mercy, my Inner Child Spirit, eternal youth, the willingness to face outside Blackmail with a new motive to serve, with the, very “Love” that I have to admit, all these Wonderful gifts from within nurturing, that replaces any more outside need for what, best can be defined as needy-ransom soul-selling Blackmail=Burnout.