Like all bloggers everywhere, I'm going to keep going until the right person comes along and posts a comment that says "UR an idiot"... at which point I'm going to cry, soil myself, and stop forever... not necessarily in that order, of course

Monday, December 17, 2012

Drat! They planned that far ahead! Welp, there you have it, folks. I made it just ahead of Bridge 3333 to get to ten million minus ten points. That's as high as the game will let me go..... hmm! Wonder if I should try getting to bridge 10,000 now? But before that, it's time to get the next million free chips by playing Bubble Zombie Nail Salon... I mean, Bubble Safari Ocean.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

The ROM cartridge file at atarimania.com seems to be the only functional version. The only way to play, of course, is to start off at the banana level. Sure, you still have to suffer through the 2000-point pears once in a while, but it's still a small price to pay. But I guess I'm just simple minded like that, and not willing to start at the gummy bear level and take my chances. So far, I'm at about 18 levels away from that initial banana level. The game is practically impossible at this point, as Ms. Pac-Man has become far too overweight and unable to travel at a fast enough speed, even when not eating the iconic dots! Use lots of corners and the exits to stay ahead of the vicious ghosts.
Whoever programmed this must've done Joust as well. Can't fault a guy for being prolific, I guess. Pac-Man Jr. as well. They clearly mastered the ancient art of multiple player/missiles.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

I coulda sworn I badmouthed this one. I didn't even bother to give it its own post! But I've had a conversion on the road to Daikatana. Besides, the ladies seem to like this game, so why not? Must be the color scheme. So like the Barbie section of the toy store. As for me, it reminds me of the time I spent hours and hours playing "Jewel Quest III". Similar variations on the theme. And damn! Sure seems to be a hell of a lot of levels in Candy Crush Saga. It is indeed a saga.

9/21/12 - Up to level 104! Waiting for my next 'life'

9/30/12 - Five more areas to go... Geez! I think I'm addicted to this game!

10/4/'12 - I know I think this with every tough level I get stuck on, but this latest one seems really tough! Level 140's different because you have to fill three giant orders, and somehow I don't think I can do it in the given number of moves. Came damn close one heartbreaking time, where I had two of the orders filled, and had two or three candies left. Dont'cha hate when that happens?

10/23/'12 - I've been saying this a lot lately, but... man, is level 167 tough! Sure, arguably not as tough as... whichever one I was stuck on lately. 165, maybe. Still... it's going to take some serious luck to get past this latest one

10/28/'12 - Wow. Can still hardly believe it! Finally passed 167. Waited for just the right moment to cross a color bomb and a red striped candy. On to bigger and better things, mostly 168. And look! They've gotten rid of the pomp and circumstance of the exploding bomb! Why waste valuable time? Oh, and... I should probably confess that I've been 'doping', that is, using a second Facebook account to send myself free lives. Been trying that for about a day now. Don't I have other things to do? I think I might be addicted to this game!

12/26/'12 - Well, I've been breezing through these pretty good, but it looks like 242's the one I'll be on for ten days now

1/7/'13 - Well, I had a bunch of free charms, and I had to use them on the ultra-annoying Level 265. Hope I don't soon regret that!

1/11/'13 - Now we're talking! Level 275 is another one I'll spend two weeks on. There's vending machines that release bombs that have to be defused in 3 moves... haven't been able to do it yet! Well, just a couple, but not enough to win yet

1/22/'13 - the next level I'll spend two weeks or more on: Level 290. Phooey. And I've apparently only got 30 left altogether!

1/26/'13 - Level 305! And, for some reason, a wrench dropped down onto the last episode. Guess they're not done yet. I've about lost interest myself. So much candy crushed, so little free time left..............................................................................................................

1/31/'13 - Yup, 305's another one of those levels I'll spend two to three weeks on. Got damn close today, though!

3/8/'13 - Yup, still stuck on 305, but the computer nerds over at King.com took pity upon me and made the level slightly easier. Slightly.

3/23/'13 - HALLE LOOGIE! Two months and several dozen failed attempts later, I made it! I was just so pumped about it, I had to play it one more time to calm myself down. Now I'm stuck at level 310, which seems to have a similar construct: digging your way to China to clear the jelly. Deja vu all over again.

3/29/'13 - up to level 318 now, but they've moved the goalposts considerably! Two more levels to beat? Good Lourdes.

4/3/'13 - Now I'm stuck on 325!

5/6/'13 - Stuck on 350. I gotta stop playing this at some point. They keep moving the goalposts!

7/31/'13 - Still stuck on 410. And they've already added two new episodes and everything! It's a discipline thing for me. If I don't get past this level by January 1st, 2014, well... time to buy a Facebook card from Wal-Mart!

9/22/'13 - Welp, it took 3 months, but I'm finally past 410! Okay, time for bed...

11/14/'13 - ...dare I check to see what level I'm on at work? Oh, I dare! 437. Life well spent!

2/17/'14 - All caught up again! Level 110 in Dreamland, level 500-and something in regular. Back to reality with me.

3/27/'14 - Oh right! I've got someplace to complain about stuff! A BLOG!!! Anyway, I think I found a bug, developers of Candy Crush. See, it seems that when the little owl character flies off and the whole "Moon Struck" thing happens, there's one slight possibility you didn't prepare for. See, if you happen to complete your goals right after the whole Moon Struck thing happens... well, it seems to go into this kind of limbo state! You can't move any candy or anything! Sounds like you need an extra "if" statement someplace. You're welcome. Also, I noticed that the owl flies off of the moon now after the gems... I mean, the candy has settled, rather than after you swap the candies. There's a chance the candy hasn't finished cascading before the owl does the whole "Moon Struck" thing. Incidentally, how does that owl fall off the moon, anyway? Doesn't it have, oh, I don't know... WINGS?!!!!! I thought I blogged that already. Guess snot. Okay, time to wait for the life abscess to refill anew.

4/6/'14 - Here's another glitch for you guys to fix... I was down to one life left, and about 15 seconds to the next life when I started a round. This happened in the owl dream mode, so maybe the code's a little different. Anyway, I didn't get my other life! Sounds like you need an extra "if" statement somewhere... or maybe another "switch" parameter. You know... real 7-figure stuff.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Damn, it's late! But I just wanted to briefly check in to boast about my latest, greatest achievement. I thought I'd have to wait until 3am for this! Another 1M poker chips in the bag. Looking forward to Zynga's next new game. 'Night!!!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Damn! I think I'm addicted to this game! I don't know why. Well, I tried Candy Crush Saga... sorry, can't do it, my Facebook friends. Too much like ... EVERYTHING! Bejeweled, Jungle Jewels... it has to be a jewel-based game, not food-based. But back to B.S. Time is finite, come to find out, and the Crazy Caves are going away! That's probably for the best. Has anyone posted on YouTube yet how to solve that second one? Somehow I don't think that even six extra bubbles is going to help me on that one... Geezus! Youtube's got EVERYTHING!!!!!

Monday, July 2, 2012

I got past the music for this one. Very jazz-y! I played this one a little back in the day when you had to switch disks and everything. Too slow, though, as with most car-based Atari games. That's still a problem with home computers, of course. They still haven't released Atari's Hard Drivin' for the PC or for your handheld, right?

Friday, June 29, 2012

I thought that said "Con-GRAD-ulations." He must've been getting out of high school by the time he did this one. I'm just glad I didn't pay $39.99 for this one back in the day. But as I grow older, I realize that the more impossible games are the most fun of all. Aliens that are hard to hit, and you only get four shots at them. Humans are damn hard to protect in games like this. At least the game's over quick, unlike Protector and Protector II to a lesser extent.

Man, I'm getting a little worried now! I think I'm seriously addicted to this Bubble Safari game. I don't know why. The Zynga Poker promotion's over and I got the million in chips. And yet... there's something about it. I'm on level 83 right now and I can't seem to crack it. I've come damn close a couple times. Maybe I'll try the strategy again where I try not to use fire bubbles to get through the "spawner" part of the level parfait. Anyway, while I'm waiting for another 3 energy points (about 10 more minutes), why not get back to one of the old classics? Good ol' Missile Command... oh, wait. Spiele 14 has some kind of bastardized version of the game. Actually, I think the 2600 version had a little more panache, even though it's not in Graphics 7 and seems to rely more on player missiles than it'd care to admit. Better sound, more playable, maybe it's just me. Yeah, must just be me.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Just five more levels of Bubble Safari and I'm done. Meanwhile, there's Archon, the Electronic Arts classic. And as you can see, I can still kick the computer's ass any time I want, tee hee hee. I'd be the dark side, but I don't know how to configure the emulator to do that. Who has time anymore?

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Now we're talking! Well, I'm mere minutes away from another Bubble Safari shot, so let's take a look at Fantastic on Mushca Disk 9. I don't know how to play it, but I love it anyway! Just keep shooting and going up, that's all. Apparently you're a ship travelling inside an artery, on your way to the big clog. Defeat the clog and you're promoted! Great game, good scrolling action. Simple! Clear! Yet enigmatic... okay, I'm bored with it now.

Isn't that inviting? Well, as long as I still got it on Mushca Disk 9, it's time to look at Kid Grid, another lame Amidar variation. You get five stuns, and you better use them wisely! They last only about 3/4ths of a second. Seriously. At least they let you walk through the baddies when they're stunned. Honestly, it's not worth it to get to level 2. I do remember the ad for this game in one of the "trades", either Compute! or Antic. Probably Compute. To be fair, the Atari never could live up to artist renderings.

Damn! Another icon. I always had trouble in the back of my mind with games like this, where Bluto can win. It ain't eti-cute. And the Sea Hag throwing empty beer bottles. So wrong on so many levels. They do disservice to the old Segar strips and the Fleischer cartoons. Still, it's kinda fun, and I can still get to level 3 when I want to!

As I said before, I'm lazy and an icon whore, so naturally I'm into video games. E.T. Phone Home for the Atari 8-bit computers is a good example. NOT the disastrous 2600 cartridge... Great puzzle game... did I do this one already? Oh, sure, I could sit here and keep track of the colors of each object I gotta pick up and try to streamline the process, but no. Time to work other parts of the brain. Level 9, forced to remember. I don't know if I beat my high score, but I did get E.T. home, and isn't that what really matters?

God, I hate this one. You can do this one at speed 3 but it's damn difficult. Follow the arrows more or less and you should be all right. That second one from the top on the long ledge with the long downward rope... that's probably the toughest one to get, so I suggest getting it as early as possible.

The 'Grand Puzzle III' of Jumpman Junior, but without all the mystery to it. GP3's the one you fall in love with, but H.T.E.'s the one you marry and have kids with. The cat's here, so I gotta pet him now.

The Mystery Maze of Jumpman Junior. I don't care if there's three of them at this point in my life. It's 2 AM and I've got three more to profile.

2/13/'15 - Like all bloggers everywhere, I'm checking to see which posts get the most hits. This one's got 131, and it's in second place behind my post about Candy Crush. That one I understand; why is this one so popular????

Oh, I LOVE this one! The bullets chase after you in a zig-zag pattern, as promised. Sine and cosine functions, here we come! If you stay on the ground the whole time, you'll never see a bullet coming at you from the left or right.... you can't, so you will. (spoiler alert)

Hard to tell from the jpeg, but this one features walls that move left and right, carrying you with them if you don't resist. Kinda like "Jumping Blocks" in the first Jumpman: if you're already in mid-jump, a second jumping block attack won't affect you. If you stay firm on the ladder, moving while a wall passes over/through you, you'll be okay. If a left and right wall pass through you AT THE SAME TIME... stand still, I guess!

The name says it all. I went ahead and put in an apostrophe all the same. The only really pressing thing you need to know about this one is to get the prize in the lower right hand corner before you get the one in the upper left hand corner.

A combination of "Going Down?" and "Ride Around" from the first one. No bullets this time, as all the player/missiles are utilized for the various elevators... Activision could work around these limitations, of course. Take River Raid, for example............

Why, that name's not clever at all! You know, I could go through and draw in all the parts associated with each prize... but I'm not gonna. When you grab a prize, either a gray section of floor or a green section of ladder "electrocutes" you, slowing you down. Well, gotta make it exciting somehow. Watch out for bullets!

And last but certainly not least, Grand Puzzle III. You know, if I remember correctly, the finale of Quake has a similar device in it! It also gets a callback in Jumplan Jr. GP3's a two-stage level. First, you must get eight prizes and turn the purple square yellow. Once it's yellow, you can use it as a portal to the next stage. I stick with the old trustworthy 'n' shape. Stand on the ladder under it, and you will magically end up on a climbing rope. Try not to have a bullet bearing down on you vertically because it won't disappear. You only get one shot at the second stage, no matter how many lives you have. Ah, sweet frustration. A thing of the past thanks to the emulator. As you can see from my crude drawing, some of the prizes/gems are worth more than others. Something about the number 500. If you're playing 'Advanced' or 'Grand Loop' this will be the triumphant end of the game. If you're like me and stick with the 'Randomizer,' you gotta keep going till you flip the score... damn. Something else I gotta do now.

Strangely similar to Level 16, if I'm not mistaken. Of course, Jumpman Junior doesn't relive the sins of the father. When Jumpman goes down the purple elevator, one can't help but grimace when he drops two pixels at a time instead of one. Well, that's just to conform to Graphics 7 more smoothly. Also, Jumpman Jr. doesn't fall as much around the green vines. No fun! This one seems to have all four bullets in action.

Always another wrinkle to crinkle with this thing. Spoiler alert: when you grab the gems/prizes this time, the gems go away. You better remember where they are! Then, when you grab a gem, the green girders go away! Of course, us Atari maniacs remember how to do that. In Basic,... Setcolor? Something like that. Poke 708-712 if you're nasty.

Seriously, though, what's fun about this one is getting hit by a bullet after you get the prize, then you get a couple free seconds of gameplay, and you might be able to get another gunslinger or two if you play your cards right!

(2/20/17) Here's the last one and ... WHOA! Check out these orange yellow freaks! My God! There's TWO of them... but they're at the same horizontal position? Why would that be? Only your Atari 8-bit enthusiast friends know for sure............

(2/20/17) ...is it okay to admit that I forgot about this? Anywya, I got back to it, finally! For some reason I thought I wouldn't get to see the other two, but I guess that happens when you start from a saved state at an inappropriate juncture, just before the game's selected the one of the three Mystery Mazes to pick. And so, here's the second one. Much like the first, but just different enough.

Now, HERE's something cool! 'Mystery Maze.' A maze of mystery. Is it mysterious, or just an excuse for attrition? Turns out... spoiler alert, there's actually more than one. I can only seem to get one at the moment, however. This emulator can't do everything after all! I think there's just the three...

I used to hate this one, until I discovered that if I played at Speed 2, I could OUTRUN the freezy things! Duh. These also get a callback in Jumpman Junior in level 11... I forget what it's called. We'll find out soon enough.

Well, a challenge to program it, maybe... Hmm! Wonder what would be loaded in. Special code? Or was all the code already in the main program. Oh, how I miss the whirr of the old Indus disk drive, the constant loud returning to sector 39.

Not this time, you don't! One of the old Atari mags had an Epyx advert that compared this to Donkey Kong, among other things. Here's the most direct connection, but think of it more as "Robots II.5". The barrels don't just roll down and maybe turn into a fireball that follows after you. But there is a bit of pre-determination to their movements, if I could just find a pattern to it all...............

God, I hate this one with a passion. Evading the birds is hard enough. Now you gotta go all the way back to the bottom to get two more prizes. Easy enough for me, as the birds usually knock me back down to the bottom, as they did this time. And I played at speed 3!!! I'm getting old............................

SPOILER ALERT time again. Let me re-write this this way... Get gem #1 to make an upward rope appear in
Prize Chamber A. Get gem #2 to clear the path you must walk before getting gem #3. Gem #3 turns you invisible, and you climb down
the ladder and get the gem in the Chamber D. The sword in Chamber B, of course, has revolving doors, so it's
just a matter of skill getting in and out. Gem #4 opens up the right
door of Chamber C so you can get the ring-type thing,
but the door closes on you once you get it. Prize #5 opens up Chamber C's left door and keeps
it open when you get the prize... but you get less bonus time doing all that extra walking! Oddly enough, the chamber prizes seem to be included in the total gem count.