Welcome to the twitter update featuring two weeks of tweets. Sort of a mixed bag of nuts–much like the people I follow on twitter. In this update, you’ll find me on a field trip to the Outdoor Learning Center, in the carpool lane, walking the dog and at Walmart. I found the last tweet (which is the first, since they’re backwards–still with me?) very telling. I sent that tweet out amongst a bunch of tweets blaming the Tea Party and Sarah Palin for the Arizona shootings. I’m not one to tell you “I told you so”. But, I told you so…

And now the best of me (or not) on the twitter:

@CandySteele I can’t bear the thought of Awesome Cat being stuffed and on display. (in reply to Candy Steele @katdish Or maybe “awesome cat as an adult?” He has been gone for a long time.)

@gyoung9751 @candysteele speculates it may be Awesome Cat’s mother. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish That photo of the cat – it looked vaguely familiar – like I’ve seen it on a telephone pole)

@gyoung9751 Thanks, Glynn. That should be the alternate title for all my posts. (in reply to gyoung975 1RT @CandySteele: RT @katdish: Good Morning! Greetings from Gourd Land!: http://bit.ly/fRPsBg / alternately titled “Out of her Gourd”)

African Albino Frog: GAAAA!

The only good armadillo is this kind

Here, kitty, kitty!

Greetings from gourd land!

Heading out on a field trip. I will be in charge of the gourd station @ the outdoor learning center. I know. Kind of a big deal…

@Babybloomr you could even sponsor a couple of people who never talk & still be good.

@Babybloomr Oh, heck. You’re good.

Okay, I think I’ve got my grumpy ho on enough for one evening…

I don’t even care if you don’t talk to me. Just talk to someone for goodness sake.

On my to do list this week: Lay down the unfollow hammer. If you don’t ever talk to anyone on here, I’m going to downsize you.

How does someone get over 100,000 followers when all they tweet are links to quick cash schemes? Lame.

@CandySteele You need to start a new account: Sh*t my Mom says. (in reply to CandySteele Mom-ism of the day: “Don’t give me anything for my bowels. I’ll just make a suppository out of a bar of soap.”)

@JeanneDamoff @karenzach If by “mule-headed” they mean loyal & courageous, then I agree. #DoWeNeedToTakeThisOutside

@karenzach I mentioned to BC that you might be more stubborn than me. He said that was impossible.

@karenzach You already are talking in my head. And you’re arguing with me. (in reply to karenzach @kelybreez @katdish You want me talking in ur head?)

@karenzach I love your writing. I know no one really writes like they talk, but it seems like you’re talking to me when I read your writing.

@karenzach Hey girl! Been reading your book this weekend. Just read the letter you sent to People. Awesome.

RT @unmarketing Don’t try to win over haters. You’re not the Jackass Whisperer.

The entire experience left a bad taste in his mouth, like drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth. #badmetaphor

Either lots of people schedule their tweets, or there are a significant number of vampires on twitter.

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs” – Stephen King

RT @Learell I live by the rule “never trust a person who throws a bday party for an animal” and it’s never let me down.

Because seriously, sometimes I’ll see something that other people think is good & I’m wondering if I’m looking at the same thing.

Does anyone else ever feel like the child in the crowd who calls out the emperor in “The Emperor’s New Clothes”?

Dear Jesus: If you do send email, would you send my dad one asking him to stop forwarding me these mass emails? Love, Kathy

My dad just forwarded me a mass email w/a subject line which says: If Jesus sent email.

@JCWert SHUT YO MOUTH!

RT @JCWert I think for my 40th birthday today, I’m going to walk around with an MP3 player & speakers playing the theme to Shaft.

Love me some Beck>RT @beckfromfrogandtoad: Big news! Bill has just made me the manager of his art career. Countdown to divorce starts: NOW.

Don't drive angry @buddylovethedog

Baby it's cold outside!

Ha! False alarm. You people w/your jukeboxes on your blogs…

Hark! Do I hear an ice cream truck?

@wai1twit Thanks. I’m a lot like Oprah. And when I say, “I’m a lot like Oprah”, I mean we wear the same size shoe.

Man, I have a lot of smart @$$ followers….Thanks! (in reply to several @ replies where it was suggested that Canadian bacon might be found on pizza in the frozen food section or in the sporting goods section–so thanks for nothing.)

“The entire experience left a bad taste in his mouth, like drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth. #badmetaphor”
I beg to differ. I think that is an EXCELLENT metaphor, one I can personally relate to…

“RT @unmarketing Don’t try to win over haters. You’re not the Jackass Whisperer.”
I’m going to keep this in mind the next time I feel like arguing with someone. “I am NOT the Jackass Whisperer!” Thank you. (Hopefully I won’t say it aloud.)