HELP OUT

If it's Thursday Dec. 1st and you are reading this, then I am in the middle of what promises to be a long and arduous move from Point A to the new Point B (aka our new home). Right now my back is being strained from me not "lifting with the legs"; somewhere on my personage is a cut or a scrape from pushing without thinking; I smell of dirt and body odor while my oily sweaty skin keeps getting wiped "clean" by the sleeve of my hoodie; my brain keeps wandering towards what is waiting for me when I am finished: Dinosaur BBQ.

Jealous? I wouldn't be either...except for the Dinosaur BBQ part. She's REAL gooooooood.

...SUCKS! I have been getting sick
for the past week -- sore throat, congestion, coughing, aching bones... PLUS I'm moving tonight and tomorrow which only adds to the pain I'm going through.

I totally blame the weather changes in NYC. One day it's cold, then it gets warm, then back to cold again, then goes back to being warm again. Miss Weather has been on-and-off more times than Jessica Simpson's wedding ring -- one day she's sparkling, then next she's absent and the finger has gone cold.

Please send (medicinal) drugs and soup.

P.S. I am so full-on, totally, waaaaay jealous of Trent from Pink Is The New Blog. Um....couldja? Pink is the new Green, beeyatch.

I have been unable to fall sleep for the past week and almost did not sleep at all last night (fell asleep at 6am). Why? Stress about the new apartment. They have really been dragging their feet on finishing it (i.e. sanding and finishing the floors, installing the cabinets in the kitchen, etc.) and we move in TOMORROW...and by the looks of the weather forecast, the sun won't be comin' out.

I'm hoping that by Thursday night I will again be able to rest easy in my new home. That is, until I start thinking about which colors to paint the guest bedroom and bathroom...

It's my wrap-up of the the American Music Awards. Can you guess who these items are about?

Which high-note-hitting diva ripped off was inspired by Madonna for the opening of the show? A giant disco ball...how original. And perhaps this butterfly should have lip-synced the whole song instead of just the second half. Couldn't hit the high notes? That's okay. You couldn't hit the low notes, either.

Which teen film star/ wanna-be singer, who has a pension for crashing cars, all but killed her singing career by warbling through Stevie Nicks' "Edge of Seventeen"? This mean girl might want to get some stage presence before trying to be a rock-star...

Which Orange County Girl was useless onstage for Pharrell Williams' "Can I Have It Like That"? The cardboard balloon (??) was waiting and could have taken her back to the luxurious green room where she could have repeated "You Got It Like That" while relaxing on a couch sippin' on Cristal.

Which two eighties acts stole the show by performing "Time After Time" and "I Need A Man/Sweet Dreams"? I guess when you have a god-given talent (like an amazing singing voice) you should stick it unlike those that shall not be named...

NYC has finally encoutered, what's predicited to be, it's harsh winter and seems to have bypassed fall autumn altogether. It cold, cold, cold outside and Daddy is not looking forward to all the errands he has to run today. My shizzle gon' be frizzozen.

Last night's season finale of Rome on HBO was incredible. If you have not yet seen the show, I'd suggest going to HBO On-Demand and starting from the beginning - definitely worth seeing. For those of you who do watch, I'm sure you'll agree.

(*spoiler alert*) In last night's episode, the death of Caesar was imminent, yet when it happens it's both surprising and fascinating. I was amazed to see that Brutus does not participate in the brutal attack and only goes to Caesar after he is lying alone in a pool of his own blood, riddled with stab wounds. It is then that Brutus delivers the final blow, tears in his eyes, all while staring into Caesar's own. And thankfully the words "et tu Brute" were not said because this isn't Shakespeare. It's HBO.

To say that I was excited about next season would be an understatement.

First, let me just say that I detest liars. What I detest even more are liars who don't take responsibility for their actions.

Suppose I told you that I wanted to go to raid someone's house because I thought they had some dangerous weapons that could hurt the whole neighborhood in their back yard -- however, I couldn't just storm in and get them without the entire neighborhood's permission. So I go to a neighborhood meeting and ask the permission I need. You and the rest of the 'hood then ask me for proof of this accusation. I give it to you; complete with pictures. You and the entire neighborhood, naturally, then vote "yes" because you all know that I am within my boundaries to raid the house and relieve them of these dangers to our community.

So I go in with a few neighbors and ransack the house -- tear it apart and then proceed to take it over as if the house now belonged to me. While I do this, the neighbors that I've brought go out to the backyard to find what we've come looking for. Strangely, no dangerous weapons are found in the backyard...just a deluxe swing-set and a plastic kiddie pool with mossy water. And instead of just leaving, because I was wrong, I decide that it would be best if I, and many of the other neighbors I brought in with me, stayed around until the owners of the house ran it the way I wanted it to be run.

Now, some of the neighbors get a bit miffed at me. They now feel bamboozled, hoodwinked even, by little old me. Why? Because I told them a lie to get what I wanted OR what I thought was "best for the neighborhood." Are the neighbors allowed to be angry with me because I wasn't honest? After all, they voted "yes." I tell them that they're not because they took a vote and backed me on my "crusade".

This is Dick Cheney's thinking. And Dick Cheney is guilty of asshole-ism. Pardon my French, but how fucking dare he (and his ventriloquist's dummy GWB) think that they have any right to kill thousands of our military men and women under false pretenses? Because of what they think is "best for our country"? If that's really the case, then why the elaborate lie about "weapons of mass destruction"? Didn't think the senate would give permission without a direct threat?? Guess not.

And now Mr. Cheney is calling one of the senators who have asked for a wrong to be made right "dishonest and reprehensible". WHY? Because he and others voted "yes" on false information? How else were they supposed to vote? You lied to them to get what you wanted.

I don't normally get political, but enough is enough. Is this the government for which our forefathers fought? This is what they wanted -- democracy -- and I'm not seeing any of that in this administration.

* Run, don't walk, to see Paradise Now. I cannot begin to tell you how deeply beautiful and haunting it is. The story envokes so many feelings that one is left sitting speechless in the theater. In fact it was so powerful that the audience did not move throughout the entire final credits; you could have heard a pin drop. I now have the utmost respect for the writer/director Hany Abu-Assad and hope to see him walk away with an Oscar if not more awards. Amazing.

* South Park's Scientology episode titled : Trapped In The Closet. What was it about, you ask? In a nutshell, Stan takes a Scientology personality test and his test results are so high (I'm sorry, his thetons) that they believe him to be the second coming of L.Ron Hubbard. When Tom Cruise comes to visit, Stan insults his acting abilities and Tom locks himself in Stan's closet. Many try to get Mr. Cruise to come out of the closet (see: John Travolta, who winds up in the closet with Tom, and Nicole Kidman who begs Tom to come out of the closet for "Katie's sake") all while R.Kelly is singing about who's "Trapped In The Closet." And that was only part of what Trey and Matt were doing. Yes, our fearless duo has ripped Scientology a new one right down to their origins and their money-taking. Even their closing credits listed John and Jane Doe for everything (from production management to catering to voice-overs) to show how careful they are when insulting "Hollywood's most powerful". Genius.

UPDATE: CNN has given their take on the episode and you can watch it here.

* You may recognize him as the longest running NYC HOMO OF THE MONTH, but Keo Nozari released his first album and it is soooooooooo worth having. The album's called Late Nite VIP and it's now available on iTunes, Amazon, AOL Music Now, and Audio Lunchbox. My fave tracks are "Yes", "Various States of Undress", and "Rewind." In addition to being a talented singer/songwriter, Keo is also an amazing DJ and, on a personal note, an incredibly wonderful, giving, caring person. Bottom line: buy his CD kids. Who wouldn't want to support someone like that?

The Love Collective presents The Snow Ball on Wednesday November 24thWhat happens when nightlife promoter Daniel Nardicio brings together a
group of his favorite club people for one night of unparalleled joy?
The Love Collective. Check out this
astounding new venue (Love) as a blizzard of fun hits gotham and hang out with
hosts Julie Atlas Muz, Mother Flawless Sabrina and dance to the music
of Steve Travolta, Nita Aviance and Corey Tut opening. Plus there's a live snowstorm at 2AM! Location: Love (40 West 8th Street @
MacDougal).Time: 11pm- 8AMPrice: $20- more info go to www.dnnyc.comFor info call 1-(877)-232-8450

I went to the OUT 100 Party at Capitale this past Friday night with my friend Scott and saw a few members of the "gay blogging mafia" but didn't get a chance to speak to any of them. Why, you ask? Because workaholic me had to spin at Table 50 and could only stay at the party a VERY short while, that's why.

I'm totally bummed that I only got to wave to Pablo, got to see the back of Matty's head as he was walking away with Bradford (whom I have yet to meet), and just missed Dan Renzi who came in with Robert and Marc. Why does my social schedule always conflict with my work...?

Sometimes I feel like Dawn Weiner who watches the popular girls having fun while I have to stand outside by the bike rack after school waiting to get raped.

Methinks that autumn in New York makes me very happy to be alive. The air is crisp and cool; the trees are changing colors from green to yellow, orange, and red; the people you pass on the street have the beginnings of rose color in their cheeks. Some of those same people have already begun their holiday shopping, be it for Thanksgiving or Chrismukkah and you can feel their senses of urgency.

It makes me wanna stop into Starbuck's and drink a delicious caramel hot apple cider and burn the shit outta my mother-flippin' tongue. Like I do every time I drink one. And yet I still get them.

* Like every other gay blogger out there, I, too, have a copy of Madonna's new album Confessions On A Dancefloor and am listening to it non-stop. Me likee. It is very Euro-Electro-Pop (think Kylie meets Ray of Light). "Get Together" "Let It Will Be" is so far my favorite and will be played for the kids when I spin next... Even though I got this CD fo' free, I most definitely will be buying the non-stop mix version. Oh, and if you wanna see her performance on the MTV Europe Music Awardsclick here.

* Here's the scene: The President of the United States is reading a storybook to small children in Florida. Off to the side, the President's Chief of Staff is told that a major disaster has just happened. The Chief of Staff then goes to the President and whispers into the President's ear what has just happened. The President then immediately hands the book to one of the children and asks the child to finish the story to the others. No, this is not a story of what Bush should have done on Sept. 11, 2001; it is what happens to President Mackenzie on ABC's newest hit series Commander In Chief. A small dig at our current administration, yes, but don't mistake that as the show's premise. This series (which is very well done) shows the problems and hardships a woman would have should she become our nation's President rather than how corrupt simple it all seems for our current one. I, for one, have fallen back in love with Geena Davis and hope she gets nominated for an Emmy.

* Advanced word on the street is excellent for the new musical The Color Purple on Broadway. Four different sources have seen it and loved it -- two admitted to crying. This makes me very happy as it's one of my favorite books, it's my all-time favorite movie and I had my fingers crossed hoping it would translate well on stage. Luckily it did. I must admit I became a bit wary when Oprah suddenly put her name over the title when initial ticket sales weren't going well. Don't know why I did, but I should never underestimate Miss Winfrey -- she knows quality when she sees it. Apparently one of the show stoppers is, funnily enough, Sophia's song "Hell No" which is the response she gives when the mayor's wife asks if she'd like to work for her... You might wanna buy your tickets now.

Just wanted to drop you a line telling you how sorry I was for making you throb the way you do today. It was reckless of me to take advantage of you in the ways I did and I promise to make it up to you.

No, I didn't need to do multiple shots of mid-grade tequila in those trashy-ass bars. No, I didn't need to pour Citron and ice-cold beer down my gullet. And, no, I didn't need to eat only one slice of warmed-up margherita pizza at Erik's prior to going out on our 4th Annual Make-A-Costume-Out-Of-Things-You-Find-On-The-Street Contest. In fact, blame Erik -- it was all HIS fault. If he didn't force me to have an incredibly fun night touring the West Village, none of this pain you're in would've ever happened. I hate him more than you do right now; he is Satan.