Monday, September 15, 2008

Fun With Money!

So... did someone sign a law that states all banks have to be either moronic or devilish? Did I just miss that or something?

So... Bank #1, who shall go un-named, but said name rhymes with Ewe Ess Frank, has the most evil policy in practice that I've ever heard of, when it comes to a savings account.

According to a customer service representative, ANY transaction that requires funds to be removed from my savings account constitutes a withdrawal. That's right - a funds TRANSFER? Withdrawal. Paying off my credit card bill - that goes through the bank? Withdrawal. And did I mention that you're only allowed one withdrawal per cycle, which cycles the 6th business day of every month? After that you're penalized a $1 fee per transaction.

Had I known such a thing, I certainly wouldn't have deposited my $1200 excess aid in that account. The only way it could be more evil is if they required $1 per transaction, period. Then it wouldn't even look at all like they care about their customers. As it is, it doesn't look like they have a care about them, at least not where I'm standing. No one ever told me that a F*ING TRANSFER would be considered a withdrawal! The $0.02 you paid in interest last month is NOT worth this crap. My mattress would penalize me less for banking there.

So... in hopes that bank #2 would not be evil (I used to have a savings account there when the bank rhymed with bluperior), I go to log on - or rather, attempt to log on to my account to see what I could find out.

Instead, the series of "extra security" questions they asked me either a) I didn't remember or b) my answer was invalid, effectively locking me out of my account.

I don't know who the heck my first girlfriend was! It could have been one of several people! I don't know how I spelled my nephews name! And my question? Well, the answer I would have typed just didn't work - several times!

Holy Retards Batman, are people seriously that mentally challenged to fall for something so obviously fake, that this sort of BS "security" is supposed to make them feel any better? Heck, even on the login site it said "feel secure in using your password again" - when did I NOT feel secure? If I wanted extra security, don't you think I would have told them? And yes, I did compose an email telling them exactly how much I enjoyed (or rather didn't) their security theatre.

Stupidity reigns supreme out here in the intarwebs. Unfortunately it used to be possible to ignore it, or go somewhere it wasn't prevalent. Now it's like walking into a high-class 5-star restaurant, and finding they feed you Gerber baby food with a plastic spoon.

And when you try to use the potty on your own, a 750lb gorilla shoves you back down in the seat until you have to use your diaper.