Video: ‘The Situation’ ’s guide to GTL and girls

Transcript of: ‘The Situation’ ’s guide to GTL and girls

Situation:A Guide to
Creeping
on
Chicks
,
Avoiding Grenades
, and Getting in
Your GTL
on the
Jersey Shore
." Mike, good to see you.

Mr. MIKE "THE SITUATION" SORRENTINO:What's up
, bud? How are you?

ROKER:Nice to see you. Hey, first of all, I want to get this kind of out of the way; we -- the story has surfaced recently that the police --
New York City
police are interested in talking to your brother
Marc
...

Mr. SORRENTINO:Really? Oh, wow.

ROKER:...about an incident that happened.

Mr. SORRENTINO:I did -- I did -- yeah, I did hear that and...

ROKER:An incident that happened...

Mr. SORRENTINO:Yeah.

ROKER:...involving a limousine...

Mr. SORRENTINO:Yeah.

ROKER:...and a woman getting punched in...

Mr. SORRENTINO:Yeah. To be honest with you, it has to do with
my brother and I
know they're handling that right now with the attorneys, and to be honest with you, I'm pretty sure this is 100 percent false and hopefully it works out and we'll find out in the next couple of days.

ROKER:OK. All right. Now -- OK, let's get started talking about this book and everything that's going on with you.

Mr. SORRENTINO:Yeah.

ROKER:I mean, you are a one-person corporation at this point.

Mr. SORRENTINO:Oh, my God, thank you.

ROKER:Starring on
MTV
's highest-rated show ever, you've just released a workout
DVD
, you're a spokesperson for a vitamin supplement company, you're launching a clothing line, and now you've got this book out. Can you believe everything that's happened to you?

Mr. SORRENTINO:You know what, I'm sure, you know, when I was little I envisioned, you know, just being, you know, special or...

ROKER:You wanted to be famous.

Mr. SORRENTINO:You know what, I'll be honest with you, I think I did but, you know, obviously when I, you know, lost my job and became unemployed, I was around 25 years old, that's when I decided, I was like, you know what, I got to do something and why not
shoot for the stars
?

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:And that's what I did.
And I
went for my dreams, I didn't -- I didn't push them to the side, and that's why I always tell people don't forget those dreams, man.

ROKER:So what are your dreams?

Mr. SORRENTINO:Pretty much my dreams are just to always, you know,
shoot for the stars
, you know...

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:...if you hit the moon, you're still doing OK. So, you know, the reality was just the way in for me, you know that's -- that wasn't my goal, you know?

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:That was just a way in for me to
show people
who I am, what I'm about and to keep moving forward in a positive way. And eventually into movies and scripted.

ROKER:You know, it's interesting, we've got a series running right now about civility in this country and is it dead, and a lot of what we see on this show, you know, there's a lot of yelling, there's fighting, there's brawling, there's talk about casual sex; is this -- do you worry that, you know, that for a lot of the kids who watch this show that this show is not a great influence for younger kids?

Mr. SORRENTINO:I would have to say that, to be honest with you, this show is totally real and, I mean, just like, I mean, I'm sure when you go home at night, you know, you might get into an argument.

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:I mean, and life's not a cookie cutter.

ROKER:Right.

Mr. SORRENTINO:So, I mean, I'm not perfect, I don't plan to be perfect, and what you see on that show is sort of -- it's driven a certain way, it's...

Mr. SORRENTINO:Whatever you see is what happens. I'm just trying to say that there's so much other things happening, you know, throughout the number of months that we're there and you're only seeing a narrow view of what's happening. And it's
MTV
, it's a party show, it's almost like saying, 'Hey, I'm going to go to a wedding, but I'm going to wear gym clothes.' No, no, it's a party show so you're going to get that pretty much party feel.

ROKER:You know, we're talking about...

Mr. SORRENTINO:Just like on "
Dancing with the Stars
."

ROKER:Right, OK, "
Dancing with the Stars
."

Mr. SORRENTINO:You saw me on "
Dancing with the Stars
."

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:I practiced hard, I put my all in, I was a gentleman. I pretty much gave what the situation called for.

ROKER:Are you trying to move -- are you looking to move away from this and maybe move into something else that's different than this?

Mr. SORRENTINO:Well, you know what, so your statement previous to the last one was something about, you know, the whole perception of "
Jersey Shore
," so that is exactly why I did "
Dancing with the Stars
," to
show people
that, you know, not only am I an intelligent kid but, you know, I own my own business, you know, I'm a hard worker...

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:...I'm a
college graduate
. And like I said, I, you know, I work hard every day to...

ROKER:Now have you actually graduated? Because I read in...

Mr. SORRENTINO:Yes, I did graduate with my associate degree, yes.

ROKER:You -- OK. All right, that's great. And you're still a few degree -- credits short...

Mr. SORRENTINO:A few credits short of the bachelor's. But like I said, at the same time, I'm blessed to be so busy right now with my own company and hiring employees and stuff like that.

ROKER:I hear you're on track to make $5 million this year?

Mr. SORRENTINO:That's an estimate. Somewhere, you know, plus or minus around there.

ROKER:Now the subtitle of your book, "A Guide to
Creeping
on
Chicks
,"
and I
've read -- I've looked at some of the -- you know, talking about grenades, these women who are in a group that might be fat and ugly and...

Mr. SORRENTINO:Yeah.

ROKER:...there's a -- there are some that could say, you know, this is a little misogynist.

Mr. SORRENTINO:You know what, it's a humorous look at -- or guide -- at, you know, being in your 20s...

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:...you know, eating, you know, going out...

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:...dating, working out, and it's sort of like a lifestyle, but a very humorous way to look at it. Almost like "
Jersey Shore
."

ROKER:So you don't -- you don't feel that your book has a -- it might be a little bit disrespectful to women?

Mr. SORRENTINO:No, no, it's a humorous look -- I'm sure that word "grenade" that I actually just commonly just came out with it as a joke, it's such a popular phrase in this country right now.

ROKER:Yeah.

Mr. SORRENTINO:That I didn't admit to meaning to hurt anybody.

ROKER:Mm-hmm.

Mr. SORRENTINO:It was just a joke and it came out -- just like
GTL
, I came out with
GTL
and the next thing you know it's
all over the place
.

ROKER:So eventually...

Mr. SORRENTINO:I was -- it's a humorous look at some of the things I think about.

ROKER:...you get -- you get married, you go to the future, you have a daughter, she brings somebody like you home, you going to be OK?

Mr. SORRENTINO:Oh, well, you know what, I'm going to -- I'm going to have to do a little background checking. But like I said, you give everybody the
benefit of the doubt
. And you can't judge a book by its cover because...

ROKER:OK. Except for your book.

Mr. SORRENTINO:No, not necessarily.

ROKER:All right.

Mr. SORRENTINO:But, you know, there's a lot going on, I'm a very deep person and that's why, you know, I am where I am right now and everything's going pretty well.

The L in GTL is what’s known as the Laundry Factor. But don’t be confused. I’m not talking about simply washing and ironing your clothes or making routine trips to the dry cleaners. (Although that’s pretty freakin’ important.) The Laundry Factor pertains primarily to how you assemble your outfits so that you look fresh for all occasions.

Once you’ve buffed out your body to maximum fitness in the gym, then brought out the shine in the tanning salon, you can’t be draping baggy, faded clothes all over it. Wearing stylish, clean, and pressed attire is critical. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you creep good.

In "Here's the Situation," Mike Sorrentino shares his tips on living the good Jersey life.

As Per Fitted T-shirts
Ninety percent of the time I roll into a club, I’m wearing a T-shirt. But we’re not talking about a Hanes Beefy-T. We’re talking about a silky-thin, fitted, designer number, ideally with metallic embellishments and embedded jewelry. It’s like a knight putting on his armor, or a Delta Force commando pulling on his battle rattle.

For years the fine people at Ed Hardy, Affliction, and Christian Audigier have been outfitting me and my fellow hardcore creepers with sick T-shirts. But now you can take your shirt situation up to The Situation’s situation with my own clothing line by Dilligaf. It’s sick, bro.

Note that some cutting-edge shirts today include a necklace integrated into the garment itself. If you think this means you don’t have to wear a separate, standalone necklace, you couldn’t be more wrong, dawg.

Ask The Sitch:
Purchasing the two halves of a track suit together, and in identical shades of the same color, is always recommended. But, for those rare occasions when the situation calls for a mix-and-match, here is a quick color-matching guide for pairing your up with your down:

Q: Does navy blue go with black?

A: Never.

Q: Can I rock a white top with blue bottoms?

A: Yes. But not the reverse.

Q: Does velour pair with nylon?

A: Does a Fontodi Chianti Classico 2001 pair with a six-piece McNuggets? If you still don’t know, the answer is no.

Q: Two shades of red?

A: Depends. To be safe, be sure the darker shade is represented in the pants. And if by “shade of red” you mean pink, then the answer is no, no, no.

Q: How about kelly green and ...

A: Stop right there. Seriously, bro?

Sitch Sez: Fashion Fact
Most people make the assumption that I wear trendy shades the majority of the time (often indoors) to protect my eyes from the elements. But in fact it’s the reverse. I’m protecting the elements from the brilliance of my eyes.

The Mathematics of Looking Fresh
People are always asking, “Sitch, how do you look so damn good in a deep-V T-shirt?” It’s simple. I always apply the ancient geometric principle known as the Golden Ratio. Look, if you want to crush it like The Sitch, you can’t phone it in, bro. You gotta do the work. When I’m rocking a deep-V, I’m always certain it will be unimpeachably pleasing to the eye of the beholder by first crunching the math on this time-tested formula:

Basically if you have two numbers, A and B, it has to be such that:

(A plus B) divided by A equals A divided by B.

So if your V-neck is 5 inches deep. Make that A. The sleeve of your T-shirt must be 3.09 inches long. Because 5 plus 3.09 is 8.09. Divided by 5 is 1.168. That’s the left side of the equation.

And 5 divided by 3.09 is also 1.168. That’s the right side of the equation. So they match. If your T-shirt meets these criteria when you roll into the club you will literally be a walking work of art.

Sitch Ab Fact: My abs are so cut that all of my shirts have to be made out of Kevlar. Lesser fabrics are quickly shredded by coming into contact with my abs. (Sitch Fashion Tip: It’s difficult to find military-grade Kevlar in Ed Hardy designs. But not impossible.)

Sitch Sez: No mater what T-shirt you select, whether it’s fitted, graphic, sequined, bedazzled, crew-neck, deep-V, wifebeater, or what-have-you, it’s about being proud of who you are. If you want to bust out a deep-V that’s safety-cone orange because you think that’s your color, then wear the hell out of that fruity shirt so everybody in the club knows that nobody owns it like you do. Set the trends, don’t follow them. I wear what makes me feel good because I’m at the tip of the spear — the cutting edge of fashion that’s fresh to death. When I see something I like, I grab it. My only system when I shop for fresh apparel is my own primal reaction to what I see, the moment I see it. When I enter a house of apparel, I trust my eye to zero in on what’s mint. That’s the single most effective system I have for knowing when to pull the trigger on a purchase. If I find myself hemming and hawing, that’s a clear indication that the garment in question is not destined to make my rotation. I walk away from the rack because I’ve failed to make a connection to those threads. On the other hand, if I know from the moment I see it that that particular piece is going to make me look awesome, I trust my instinct completely and it comes home with The Sitch. (See sidebar: “Shhhhh ... Here’s an Exclusive Sitch Fashion Tip”)

Shhhhh ... Here’s an Exclusive Sitch Fashion Tip
If you’re still having difficulty deciding whether or not to purchase a particular garment, there is one sure-fire method left at your disposal. Put the magnetic security tag gently to your ear. If you can hear the faint, distant thumping of bumping club music, buy it.

In a highly-anticipated speech to Congress Tuesday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu argued that a potential nuclear deal being negotiated by major powers including the United States "paves Iran's path to the bomb."