La Cucaracha Texas Supports Secession Plan

La Cucaracha, Texas, a fictional town founded in 8000 B.C. in Texas, has its own newspaper and is proud to be home to 137 churches. The city council recently passed a resolution supporting Gov. Perry’s call for state secession. The council cited ten benefits in favor of secession:

1. Texas could create jobs and finally secure our borders by hiring thousands of new border guards.
2. Texas high school students will have a better chance being accepted to the University of Texas now that the majority of its students will be required to pay significantly higher international tuition rates.
3. Citizens would no longer have to sing Lee Greenwood’s “Proud to be an American” song at the county fair.
4. GM vehicles manufactured at the Arlington, TX plant would now be considered imports to American consumers, greatly increasing their desirability.
5. The Rockets, Spurs and Mavericks would each have an excellent chance of making it to the TNBA finals every year.
6. Lonestar Beer would still be the National Beer of Texas.
7. Texarkana would now become a hub of international business.
8. No more stimulus money crammed down our throats.
9. Texas could join OPEC (Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries).
10. No more EPA or emissions testing.

A formal letter was sent to Gov. Perry with no response yet from his office.

11. With six cities (Houston, San Antonio, Dallas, Austin, Ft. Worth, and El Paso) in the top 21 cities (ranked by population) in the U.S. Texas could require that anyone not a resident of Texas file an application, and if accepted, pay resettlement fees and extra charges if they desire to relocate and settle in Texas.

12. Texas citizens only need be concerned about flying the Texas flag on their flagpoles.