Like a high-schooler who got in Early Decision to his reach college, Chris Christie—Romney surrogate extraordinaire though not class vice president—is all, “Fuck this noise. And the fuck if I’m still staying in debate club.”

Christie is totally slacking off now that he’s on permanent summer vacation from the ranks of Romney U. The New Jersey governor was supposed to give some dumb presentation to the House Republicans this morning, but he just, like, didn’t show up. The Hill tattletales: “An aide said Republicans wanted to bring in the popular G.O.P. governor to encourage lawmakers to contribute to the party’s bid to keep the House majority. But Christie ran late, and Republican leaders ended the meeting before he showed up.”

Christie later texted House Republicans, explaining that his alarm didn’t go off because in the middle of the night he must have lost power or something and his phone never charged so it died. He woke up so late and skipped showering and everything and hopped in a cab, but there was crazy traffic because of. . . probably the storm that caused him to lose power. And he would have called, not texted, except he’s on his way to the Verizon store because his phone is basically broken, anyway. It’s a whole thing.