“The Story So Far” Rating: The Scarecrow storyline is skippable, but the brother moments are awesome.

One year ago. Burkitsville, Indiana.

When a young couple gets lost on their way to the interstate, the people of Burkitsville send them off with a homemade apple pie and directions. How nice of them!

Unfortunately, their car just broke down near an old orchard. Cell service is out, but there’s a house in that orchard. Maybe they have a phone?

No phone, but there’s a super-freaky scarecrow and it just came to life.

These two aren’t leaving Burkitsville.

Present Day

Remember how Sam answered the phone last episode and it was their dad? We get the rest of that call now. John Winchester is tracking whatever it was that killed Mary. It’s a demon and he’s sure he’s closing in, but that’s not why he called. John wants the boys to stop looking for him.

He also has a case for them: Three different couples have gone missing. One couple a year, all in the second half of April, all in the same part of Indiana. (::cough:: Burkitsville)

Dean is ready to do the job just on Dad’s orders, but Sam is totally not having it. He’s all about going to find their dad. Here we go again. Except, this time, it’s heated. Sam gets out of the Impala and starts walking.

Dean makes his way to a small town and, hey, it’s Burkitsville. Those are the same nice people who gave that couple the free apple pie. At first, the Jorgensons (Tom Butler and P.Lynn Johnson) act like they don’t remember the couple, but their niece, Emily (Tania Saulneir), pipes up that she remembers them. Her uncle is not happy.

Basically, the Jorgensons are like the creepy kids in Children of the Corn, and the Scarecrow is He Who Walks Behind the Rows. I think that makes Emily into Linda Hamilton?

Sam, on the other had, has met a nice young lady (who’s hitching to California just like he is) by the name of Meg Masters (Nicki Aycox). They don’t talk much because she’s just picked up a ride, but there’s a little flirting.

Dean got directions like the previous couple, and he’s near the orchard when his EMF meter starts flipping out. Doesn’t take long before he finds that scarecrow.

Hunh. The Scarecrow has a tattoo just like the guy who went missing last year. What a coincidence.

Dean goes back to talk to Emily and learns that, while surrounding towns have had issues, Burkitsville is “blessed.” Apparently, she has no idea that that’s due to an annually fed scarecrow. Speaking of which, looks like dinner is about to be served. A new couple just had their car break down in town.

Dean tries to talk them into leaving, but he just comes off like a creeper. Then the oh-so-helpful cafe owner calls the sheriff, who gives Dean a helpful escort out of town.

I just realized, this Children of the Corn movie has no Harbinger. Where’s my Harbinger?

Let’s check back in with Sam. While cooling his heels at the bus station, he’s run into Meg again. They seem to have a lot in common, including family members who want them to toe the line instead of being who they are. Awwwwww.

That couple from town seems to have ended up in the orchard being chased by the Scarecrow. I know, right?! It’s a good thing Dean came back to town to rescue them.

Dean calls Sam to fill him in. Looks like we’re dealing with a pagan god. Once a year, the god gets a nice meal, and all is well in Burkitsville for another year. In addition, we get one heck of a WBDTM*, in which Dean tells Sam that he understands why Sam wants to do his own thing. Apologies are given on both sides and it’s definitely goodbye.

Since he’s without his geeky computer-nerd brother, Dean goes to the local college to talk to a professor (William B. Davis). He finds out that this pagan god has a sacred tree. If you burn the tree, you should be good to go.

Should be, but not so much this time. The sheriff shows up at the college and knocked Dean out.

It’s Dean’s own fault, really. Because he helped the other couple, the town elders need to find a replacement because this is the last night for the sacrifice. Dean’s going to be dinner; that they agree on. But poor Mr. Jorgenson is super-bummed because the rest of the adults think Emily should be the female part of the sacrifice. For the common good and all.

Sam is getting a bad feeling. After not being able to reach Dean, he tells Meg that he has to go look for his brother. Meg wants him to go with her to California, but Sam is sure something is wrong.

Sad Meg is sad, but she seems to understand.

Emily and Dean are being trussed up for the sacrifice. Emily is crying. Her aunt is total crazypants. Her uncle has doubts. Dean is just pissed.

Night falls and, aside from figuring out that the tree they need to burn is in the orchard, Dean has got squat, plan-wise. Luckily for all of us (and them), Sam just showed up.

It’s great that he showed up because the Scarecrow is on the move.

Dean, Sam, and Emily try to run, but get stopped by the townsfolk. Luckily for them, the Scarecrow has gone all “He wants you too, Malachi” on the Jorgensons and grabs them instead, which gives the young’uns time to escape the orchard.

They come back in the morning to torch the tree, then put Emily safely on a bus to Boston.

All that’s left is the last WBDTM. Sam is gonna stay with Dean. Mom and Jess are gone. Dad is off being … dad.

As for Meg? Well, looks like she opted for a van ride instead of the bus, and she’s making a call to her father. The fact that she made that call using the van driver’s blood and a chalice, well, that’s concerning.

Expression Of JoyThe Brady Bunch: Groovy! The Bradys: Ritual hugging Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.” Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you? The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…” The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been) Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!” Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?” The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical ProblemThe Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen. The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed. Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents. Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer. The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical SolutionThe Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens. The Bradys: Bobby gets married. Married…With Children: They hate him. Thirtysomething: If only we knew… The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

Attitude Toward SexThe Brady Bunch: Never heard of it The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it! Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No. Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident. The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses FightThe Brady Bunch: They don’t. The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens Married…With Children: Tooth and nail Thirtysomething: They stop talking The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into TroubleThe Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette. The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair. Married…With Children: By committing felonies Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket. The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.” The Bradys ”Next time, ask.” Married…With Children: By the authorities Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face. The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For FunThe Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon The Bradys: Has flashbacks Married…With Children: Exchanges insults Thirtysomething: Talks The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved MysteriesThe Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die? The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use? Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other? The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst BehaviorThe Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

Best Reason To WatchThe Brady Bunch: This is what life should be. The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now! Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it. Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life. The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To WatchThe Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses. The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now. Married…With Children: She has a point. Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real. The Flintstones: The Simpsons