This is a blog about mental illness where I write about my journey towards healing. My purpose is to empower women in their personal fight in battling depression. Too many women suffer in silence and my desire is to initiate dialogue, understanding and support and to instill hope for families and individuals. Through nutrition, essential oils and my faith, I have found my way towards recovery where I manage my illness and I don't let it manage me.

"Bipolar disorder, or manic depression, is a medical illness that causes extreme shifts in mood, energy, and functioning. These changes may be subtle or dramatic and typically vary greatly over the course of a person’s life as well as among individuals. Over 10 million people in America have bipolar disorder, and the illness affects men and women equally. Bipolar disorder is a chronic and generally life-long condition with recurring episodes of mania and depression that can last from days to months that often begin in adolescence or early adulthood, and occasionally even in children. Most people generally require some sort of lifelong treatment. While medication is one key element in successful treatment of bipolar disorder, psychotherapy, support, and education about the illness are also essential components of the treatment process."

Thursday, January 19, 2012

My in-laws served a mission for our church right around the same time that I was experiencing the first of my symptoms of the bipolar disease. They were called to be facilitators for one of the Addiction Recovery Program meetings http://www.providentliving.org/familyservices/strength/0,12264,2873-1,00.html which are sponsored by LDS (Latter-Day Saint) Family Services to help those who struggle with addictions such as:

They sent me the workbook that the church uses for the 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program and I know they were inspired to do so. At the time they sent it I was in denial about my diagnosis and I was too angry and proud to go through the workbook. So I set it aside and basically forgot about it.

Eight years later I was sitting at our family computer when I looked over at the bookshelf and saw the workbook. As I glanced through the pages I started crying. It was like I was receiving one on one counsel and admonitions from my Father in Heaven about changes that I needed to make in my life.

I have seen how the 12 Step Recovery Program is helping me in my own life and I know that it will help others. For me it is like a road map to recovery and healing.

Each step includes a key principle, action steps, and a section called study and understanding. The last section is filled with scriptures to study and questions to answer and write down. It helps me to better understand how to apply each step to my life.

Step 1HONESTYKEY PRINCIPLE: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.

Step 2HOPEKEY PRINCIPLE: Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.

Right now I am on: Step 3 TRUST in GOD.

KEY PRINCIPLE: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

I was reading a quote from the Lectures on Faith by our prophet Joseph Smith, Jr.

"Let us here observe, that three things are necessary in order that any rational and intelligent being may exercise faith in God unto life and salvation.

First, the idea that he actually exists.

Secondly, a correct idea of his character, perfections, and attributes.

Thirdly, an actual knowledge that the course of life which he is pursuing is according to his will. For without an acquaintance with these three important facts, the faith of every rational being must be imperfect and unproductive."

As I was reading the second thing that is necessary for faith in God I was struck by the word

"correct."

Sometimes I struggle with trusting my Father in Heaven and I know that it is connected to some INCORRECT ideas I have of God's character, perfections, and attributes.

When I was in college I used to carry my scriptures everywhere with me.

They had their own little spot in my backpack. If I was feeling discouraged, homesick, anxious or whatever, I would open my scriptures and read.

I always felt better after doing so.

A thought occurred to me the other day that the past few years I have been relying too much on my husband for spiritual support and strength and that I needed to get back into the habit I started when I was a freshman in college...meaning, to more often turn towards God through scripture and prayer when I am feeling depressed.

Through the scriptures I will come to better understand CORRECT ideas of my Father's character, perfections, and attributes.