July 23, 2012

This book is a book that will change your life, no matter who you are. It will stick with you, in a way that maybe you wish it wouldn't. But it will anyway, because that's just the kind of book this is. It doesn't care that you might be squeemish, or sad, or afraid, or happy, or kind, or mean, or even alive. This book holds your hand. It makes you feel secure in the story. Afraid, but secure just the same.

And then it lets go. And you're alone. And people die. And the story is terrifying.

And then it holds your hand again. And you want people to live.

And then it happens again. Alone. Afraid.

And you realize that maybe, just maybe, this book isn't about living or dying at all.

July 10, 2012

I saw the movie SAVAGES today and loved it. The movie, in my opinion, was a brutal portrayal of love and the desire of family. It was heartbreaking. It was graphic. It was sickening. It was warm and cold and achy and completely savage. If I'm being completely honest, however, what I loved most about the movie wasn't the plot - it was a bit predictable. It wasn't the artistic style of the film - there was hardly any new shooting styles except a slightly skewed camera angle here and there. And it wasn't the brutal nature of the film, the way the blood spilled so freely, so closely to the camera. Nope.

I loved the brutal and savage way the characters loved. I loved their romance, their need to be a family. I'm talking about all the characters here, because every single one of them - every single motive in the plot, the script, the film itself - was propelled by the desire for family. In a way, that is what made this movie so savage, and so beautiful. So compelling. I fell in love with the three main characters in the movie, equally. I couldn't imagine one without the other, and the idea of any one of them leaving the group seemed crazy. There's is a threesome, and it's an awfully good one at that.

I also loved the bad guys in this film. Why? They were horrible. They were mean and nasty and violent. They were cruel. But they were not evil. They were, simply, savage in the way they approached life. In what they wanted. Here, we are back to family. To the desire for one, or for people that make up what we think a family should be. Here, the bad guys are simple good guys in masks. Horrible, cruel masks.

But still, for me, it all comes back to the three main characters. I fell in love. Each of these three characters found a place in my heart. I felt like I understood them, like I could believe in them. They were flawed and brutal and sweet and horrible in their love. I got it. I got them. And I can't ask much more than that.

July 9, 2012

Such a small word, yet so vast in meaning. And, while thinking about that word this morning, I came to realize this: When thinking about love in terms of specific relationships (friends, lovers, whoever), it's really about the small things versus the large things.

I did a bad thing guys. I thought about love in a negative way.

I thought this: What is bad about it? What makes us unhappy?

And then I realized that thinking like that, the way I do sometimes, is not bad at all. In fact, it's excellent. It's fantastic. It's the way I should be thinking. Thinking about love, or any kind of relationship, in terms of the good and the bad is a great thing because you are able to see the different sides of it. Furthermore, I've learned that if we ignore any side of anything it never ends well. Better to look at the entire picture from every angle than ignore one.

Anyway. Back to this: Small versus Large.

Why are so many of us good at the bigger things in life, and less-good at the smaller things? We are willing to do the big things: get married, have kids, buy things, go to events. But when it comes to the little things like talking about feelings, or being polite about certain things, or remembering the small stuff, we forget how.

And guys, this just in: Most times the smaller things in the relationship are the things that matter most.

So, why?

I don't know. But I do know this: It's good to think, even if you might not know what you're thinking about. It's good to love, even if you don't know if it'll last. And it's good to talk in circles sometimes; It helps you make your way back to where you wanted to be.