exploring my sexuality, and other adventures

who is Gawan?

I’ve mentioned Gawan’s identity in passing before, but this time I think I’m dropping that name for good.

When we first met online and started corresponding, it was too early to even mention him because it might not have amounted to anything worth talking about. When it started to become significant and my thoughts were in a whirl, I wanted to talk about it but not where he or Wolf could read about it, so I wrote privately. Eventually things settled down and writing didn’t feel so pressing anymore.

When I did start writing about him, a little obfuscation seemed appropriate, so I asked him to select a pseudonym for use here.

After some time we realised that it wasn’t a problem if people made the connection so we stopped concealing things quite so thoroughly. We figured someone would work it out and so maintained pseudonymity but started deliberately dropping hints, sometimes really obvious ones, as part of the game. A few people worked it out eventually, but since we hadn’t said anything they stayed discreet too, even after we turned up together at Eroticon 2017. The game got stale.

Is there any need to continue to conceal his regular pseudonym with the one I’ve been using here? None that we can see, beyond my natural tendency to play things close to the vest and the fact that it has become habit. And since we’ve established a strong relationship and he’s about to collar me, it now feels inauthentic to me to keep hiding it.

My lover and dominant is Jaime Mortimer, who blogs here (where he had been calling me Gretel).

My need for truth and accuracy has turned this blog into a tool of self-discovery, which has been a real benefit to me. If I’m worried that a detail is too revealing, I either won’t mention it at all or I’ll make it obviously vague. That’s not how Jaime’s blog works though, so just FYI, you can’t assume that any specific detail he mentions about me is necessarily accurate.

In less than a week, I’ll be going to visit him again. Our first three visits were all big on travel, but this time our adventures will all be close to (or at) home. I’m very much looking forward to it.

Well, I routinely change details about hair colour, occupation, and other things that might make it easier to identify someone. And since I’m more interested in the emotional side of What Happens in Bdsm than anything else, those minor changes don’t feel at all wrong.

But the bit about you being beautiful, charming and clever, that’s 100% reliable.

I saw it in both your eyes when we met in Camden . . . or at least I thought I did . . . so it is no surprise.
In fact the affirmation here is rather lovely, and I’m looking forward to reading more of your togetherness on both your pages!!!
Xxx – K

I’m sure you did see it – I certainly saw it in his eyes 🙂 I’ll definitely be writing more about Jaime here, but he may require a bit of prompting seeing as how it has been his habit to wait at least 5 years before writing about any given adventure.