Award-winning author, Shane Johnson (“Mr. Scott’s Guide to the Enterprise” and “Star Wars Technical Journal”) is not a household name. But to fans of Star Trek and Star Wars, he was recognized as having received some level of fame. In addition to his books, he was able to sit on panels and hobnob with cast members. He named a minor Star Wars character, influenced some of the set designs on screen for the Star Trek franchise and was a design consultant on HBO’s From the Earth to the Moon series.

So when communication from Shane went dark some eight years ago, speculation soon followed. Past health problems were mentioned. Some even wondered if he had died. Fans have continued to wonder to this day. No solid news has been available.

On July 30, 2014, I received an appreciative e-mail from someone who found my blog. She thanked me for my blog and invited me to chat with her. We have much in common, including being Christian and published authors. Although we live over a thousand miles apart, we have become good friends since that initial meeting by e-mail. We frequently talk on the phone or Skype and text chat at other times. We exchange information and links. She sends me pictures of her beloved cats and samples from her graphic arts portfolio. I have been there for her in times of loss.

Her name is Lora Johnson. We have one other thing in common. We are both transgender. When she became comfortable with me, she told me that she used to be known as Shane Johnson. (I have since received an autographed copy of one of her pre-transition books, not that there have been any so far since her transition.)

Her health problems were and are real. The stress of trying to continue to live as a man was so severe, she developed heart problems that nearly killed her before she ever got the chance to live as the person she truly is inside. Realizing that she might not survive should they persist, she removed much of the stress by transitioning. She does have other health problems, serious ones that need attention as soon as possible. More on that in a moment.

Lora Johnson

Gender dysphoria is the reason why very few pictures of Shane can be found on the Internet. She cared little for “his” appearance and avoided having pictures taken at all costs. She’s not ashamed anymore. She has shared this picture on the Internet. This is my glamorous friend, Lora. Even more important, she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

One of the things we have in common is the ability to blend completely into the world of women. Neither of us has had a negative experience in public. Being read as having been born with a male anatomy and overdosed on testosterone has been virtually nonexistent. We describe the event of starting to live as a woman 24-7 the same way: “It was like throwing a switch.”

Like me, Lora reports being much more at peace than ever before, including in her relationship with God. Unlike me, she lives in an area of the country that is very trans hostile. So the idea of her coming out has been far more daunting. But she believes that now is the time.

One thing that has not changed about Lora is her abundant writing and artistic talent. One reason for her coming out at this time is to be able to connect to her existing body of work, hopeful of fostering opportunities for future work.

I could go on and on telling you about my dear, sweet friend who I love like a sister. But Lora deserves to be able to tell her own heartwarming story.

The only thing I will add is about the health problems I alluded to earlier. Lora has a congenital condition in her neck that makes her prone to serious infections. The infections are not constant, but when they occur, they are getting worse and are lasting longer. There is a surgeon in her area who believes she can correct this defect. But surgery is not cheap and Lora’s income and assets are limited. She has started a Gofundme page to raise funds to pay for the operation. Please seriously consider contributing. I hope you will find it in your heart to do so. Here’s the link:

I am usually a very reflective person, especially when it comes to something for my blog. So an immediate reaction is something relatively new for me. I have just watched the Diane Sawyer interview of Bruce Jenner. Here are my impressions.

First off, while Bruce continues to withhold the use of a new name and allowed and maybe even encouraged use of male pronouns, I am going to make a tricky straddle. Bruce clearly indicated a female identity at the core. So rather than use a last name and absent the knowledge of a first name, I will continue to use “Bruce” as this person’s name. But I will also use female pronouns (contrary to GLAAD’s guidelines). As I see it, the use of the pronouns was for the sake of the interview and Bruce’s supportive family members who naturally would have been using male pronouns during much of the taping process.

(In recognition of her status as a professional journalist, I will refer to the interviewer as Ms. Sawyer.)

I thought Bruce was sincere. The threads to her story are very familiar to anyone who has heard the life story of a transsexual. The details may vary but the basic theme is clear. Every child who is in the process of becoming an adult begins to learn how to fit into the world around him or her. What was different for Bruce and all transsexuals is that the world is telling you, even your body is telling you, that you fit into the world as one gender. But your brain is telling you that you are the opposite gender. Now how do you deal with that disconnect?

For Bruce, as it was for most transsexuals of our generation, it is a strange dance of exploration and denial. (Bruce is a little more than three years older than me and while Bruce Jenner was growing up in Westchester County, NY, my family moved about four miles away as the crow flies on the other side of the Hudson River.) What made Bruce’s journey different was raw athletic ability, physical strength and speed, and the determination to develop that combination of attributes to become a champion. Similar to the story of Kristin Beck, the Navy Seal who transitioned a few years ago, gender identity conflict that had no outlet in the 1950’s and 1960’s of Bruce’s youth, added fuel to turbocharge that determination. One produced a military hero, the other an Olympic gold medalist.

Early in the interview, Bruce mentioned the need to keep a sense of humor regarding the situation. And Bruce does have a keen sense of humor. But there were many poignant moments as well. (I do question the placement of that tissue box next to Ms. Sawyer instead of next to Bruce. Did they think that Ms. Sawyer was going to break down in the middle of the interview? Of course not: they wanted to emphasize Bruce needing to reach out for a tissue.)

Cropped photo of Diane Sawyer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The interview was conducted mostly in Bruce’s home in Malibu, but parts were taped near Bruce’s childhood home in Sleepy Hollow (nee North Tarrytown, NY) and the campus of the high school she attended where her athletic career began to take shape and show promise. Obviously it was edited in a way that reflects the lines between news and entertainment having been blurred long ago on the major networks. And we had to listen once again to a series of questions so that Bruce could explain that gender and sexual preference are two different things. Because Ms. Sawyer generally did a fine job in allowing Bruce to tell her own story, helping it along with insightful questions, I will give Ms. Sawyer the benefit of the doubt on the gender versus sexual preference theme of the questions. I attribute the need to ask these questions to the realization that large portions of the general public still are unable to grasp this difference, not Ms. Sawyer’s lack of understanding on the topic.

Contrary to an online headline that I saw a little while I ago when I was checking the map for the relative distance between my childhood home and Bruce’s, there were no blockbuster revelations in this interview. There has been so much build up prior to the actual program, it would be almost impossible for any program to live up to it. About the only blockbuster announcement that Bruce could have made was that she was not transgender and that there was another explanation. Fortunately, there was more than enough solid content during the program. This was not a repeat of Geraldo’s Al Capone’s vault fiasco.

The most interesting bit of information I heard was the revelation that Bruce had started taking female hormones in the mid 1980’s. But at some point, due to understandable fears, concerns about what this would do to her family (especially her children) and questions about what God thought about this matter, that earlier road to transition was cut short. While interesting, it was not surprising. Renee Richards had a similar backtracking experience during her life’s journey (albeit for different reasons). This has also happened during the journeys of some transsexuals I know personally. And I know how many times I took tentative small steps down the road of transition only to let fear turn me back.

The most heartwarming part of the program was to see the level of support that Bruce has gotten from her family. Every one of the ten children who have come to know Bruce as “Dad” evidenced some level of support, as did her first two wives, her sister Pam and her mother.

I have to admit that I have no interest in the types of tabloid shows that have made a fortune for the Kardashian-Jenner clan. I am well aware that a lot of the fame that has been enjoyed by them has been a combination of shrewd promotion, the fact that sex sells and that the Kardashian women are recognized by the public as sexy, attractive women. But I will also freely admit that their stock rose considerably in my eyes when I saw them join with Bruce’s older children in unfeigned love and support for Bruce.

I was also pleased to see the notion dispelled that if someone is transgender, they must be liberal, and that trans allies must be liberal. Bruce admits to being a conservative Republican. Her mother is very conservative. A brief clip of Jennifer Boylan was when she quoted her elderly conservative Republican mother responding to Jennifer’s coming out with a verse from 1st Corinthians 13:13 – And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (I believe the NKJV verse or something similar was used.)

Yes, I have had conservative Christians reject me. But I have also had a number of them accept me, to my surprise and delight. I have been accepted by NRA members, libertarians, people who describe themselves as being to the right of Rush Limbaugh and so on. Just as there is a certain segment of the population who does not easily fit into neat little boxes labeled “male” and “female”, it is not so simple to predict or categorize which people will prove to be trans allies and sympathetic to our coming out stories.

An interesting fact brought up by Ms. Sawyer is that over 90% of survey respondents say that they know someone who is homosexual, but only 8% say that they know a transgender person. Bruce’s story underscores the fact that most of us are so good at hiding until we begin to emerge, that far more than 8% of the population in fact knows a transgender person. They just don’t realize that they know one.

One of the most interesting dynamics in terms of Bruce relating to her family concerns the few times when Bruce was caught or when Bruce admitted at least some level of her gender exploration to a family member. Rather than these events opening the floodgates of discussion between Bruce and family members, Bruce’s gender issues quickly returned to the closet and once again, the elephant in the room was ignored, sometimes for decades.

Bruce wants her life to make a positive difference. It remains to be seen to what extent that can and will happen. Bruce Jenner, Olympic gold medalist in a prestige event and hero of the Cold War in the athletic arena would have had plenty of capital in the court of public opinion to cash in. But that capital has seen plenty of tarnish from her heavy involvement in reality television soap operas that spill over into all of the media coverage of her life in recent years. I agree with Bruce that it is absurd that all of this is a publicity stunt. The fact that a significant number of people believe it is true highlights the perception that needs to be overcome.

And yes, the specter of an even bigger elephant looms over Bruce’s situation. It is a specter that could only receive the briefest mention due to legal issues. I am talking about the fatal car accident that Bruce was involved in after the interviews were taped. If Bruce eventually is found guilty of a serious crime such as involuntary manslaughter, her possible platform for good for the TG community will prove to have a trap door to the basement.

The impression I came away with from the end of the program is that Bruce intends to live the next year of her life in a low key, out of the limelight manner as much as possible. Her invitation to Ms. Sawyer to come back in a year and see how well she did would imply that the world will not know a lot about her movements and actions over the next 12 months. But between pending legal matters, aggressive paparazzi and journalists, and even well-wishers and people from the trans community who want a piece of her, a low key life may prove far easier said than done. But the intent is wise. Bruce will need this time of her life for learning and discovery, whether self or comportment or further reaching physical changes. I hope she can achieve that time for herself.

Would I love to meet Bruce Jenner? Of course! Our paths are likely to have crossed on occasion: perhaps on the Tappan Zee Bridge, in some shopping center, or at a sporting event. Because I was the manager of the Cornell cross country and track teams for four years (1970-74), are degree of separation is very small. Jon Anderson (Class of ’71) personally challenged me to stay as manager for all four years. (I made it, Jon!) Anderson, the next to last American to win the men’s division of the Boston Marathon, was Jenner’s teammate on the 1972 US Olympic track team.

Bruce has enough to deal with in her life right now. I will not add to it. If perchance she reaches out to me for any reason, I am here, just as I have been here for a handful of trans people who have reached out to me in the past year. I am not a trained counselor and do not hold myself out as such. I minister to people as a friend with the insight gained through my own journey and study of spiritual matters.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24

As I feared, the Dodgers had an early exit from this year’s playoffs. So no more sports posts are expected for a while. And now on to the latest post.

Green Acres lasted for six seasons on television and introduced the characters of Oliver Wendell Douglas (played by Eddie Albert) and Lisa Douglas (played by Eva Gabor). At the beginning of the show, the couple live in New York City. He is a high-powered lawyer who dreams of a more idyllic life as a farmer. His socialite wife reluctantly goes with him when he buys a farm.

Oliver buys a farm sight unseen. Unfortunately for the Douglases, he had fallen into the clutches of Mr. Haney (played by Pat Buttram), a con man’s con man. The rundown farmhouse, nutrient-depleted soil and a host of other decrepit gadgets and swindle attempts, collectively serve as part of the running gags the propelled this show into a surrealistic realm of satire not seen on other rural-oriented CBS fare.

So far, nothing in my description sounds remotely related to a transgender theme. While Lisa always appears very glamourous (except for one scene during the opening), her wardrobe and unassuming comedic activities are not of a type normally copied by drag performers. So where am I going with this?

Approaching my two year anniversary of living full-time as a woman, I have made a number of observations on how cisgender people react to the sight of me, as well as their reactions to other transwomen (both observed and reported). At one point along the way, it occurred to me that there is an analogy between some of those reactions and a recurring element of the show.

First, a discussion of the reactions and what they are based upon. Another transwoman recently remarked to me that no one is 100% female, including cisgender women. And that is absolutely correct. Look at just about any woman and somewhere there is a trait or mannerism that is more on the masculine side than the feminine side.

Consider some examples of famous women: Diane Keaton readily acknowledges her very masculine gait. Marlo Thomas possesses a deep voice and Cher’s vocal range was deeper than Sonny’s. Some women, like tennis star Martina Navratilova are on the more muscular side. Basketball star and model, Lisa Leslie stands 6’5” and was able to dunk a basketball by the time she was a sophomore in high school.

Even if we rule out those women (bodybuilders and athletes who rely on strength for superior performance) who masculinize themselves though steroids, HGH and so on, we can think of women who have more masculine facial features, some facial hair, a bit of an Adam’s apple, broader shoulders, flatter chests and so on.

So why is it that almost all women with these masculine attributes are not mistaken for men (despite some insensitive name calling from cruder individuals in a few cases)? Why is it that I and some other transwomen I know or have seen pictures of are very successful in blending in with the general female population while others struggle to be recognized as female and face periodic harassment as a result?

And I came up with the Green Acres analogy as an explanation. One of the features of the ramshackle farm house was that the electricity for the kitchen was supplied by a generator that was inadequate for the needs of a household with a combination of modern appliances such as television, refrigerator, washing machine, toaster, and so on. If too many were running at the same time, the generator would overload and stop running. So Oliver figured out a simple system based on the wattage of each item in the home that ran on electricity. He assigned them numbers from one to six. If appliances that totaled more than seven were plugged in, the generator would blow.

Here is the link to watching the episode that introduces the subject (Season 1, Episode 9). The link will take you to the free side of Hulu.

So what’s the analogy? Let’s take a scenario that transwomen face from time to time if they are out and about in the world: going into a women’s bathroom at the mall. And let’s say this mall is fairly busy, so there will be a number of other women coming and going during our visit there.

To various degrees each woman will be subtly engaged in what is routine for them: observing the other women who are passing through. It is not an exercise in voyeurism. The observation will be discreet, not intruding on the privacy or space of the other women. But most of the women will observe nonetheless. There are a number of reasons. One never knows when they might see someone they know, or see another woman wearing an article of clothing or hairstyle to be admired (whether the admiration is shared or not), or will smile at the timeless event of a mother coming in with a young daughter (or if young enough, her son). The latter reminds us of a second reason: women are trained to be mindful of their surroundings and have heard the stories of what happens at times if a woman becomes careless. The vulnerability of us women is heightened in a restroom, especially if suddenly it is no longer busy. A mother bringing in her three-year old son who needs help with his toilet is not a concern. As that boy starts approaching manhood, the concern level goes from zero to sixty in a hurry.

If a casual glance reveals that there are only women present, the observation remains discreet. But if the particular appearance of another person starts to raise the “wattage” readings on a subconscious meter, the level of scrutiny will increase.

The only difference is that it is impossible to set hard and fast numbers the way that Oliver was able to calculate for the kitchen appliances. First of all, each woman has her own meter calibration. Furthermore, any suspicious feature could range from borderline to extremely obvious. Therefore, any feature could be given a value anywhere from one to eight.

The following chart is a somewhat light-hearted guide to the range of comportment within the MTF transgender community. I gave much consideration to find terms that would not be offensive. Hopefully I attained that objective.

Now if you are an MTF transgender and one or more of your attributes threaten to blow the whistle on you, all hope is not lost. In most of the areas of concern, things can be done to correct, camouflage or compensate for the problem areas. Remember that cisgender women are beautiful, but most enhance their beauty by using techniques to deal with their problem areas. One of the reasons for makeup and fashion is to help a woman look even better. We can learn these techniques, too. Some of us learn them so well and even improve on them, to such an extent that sometimes cisgender women get tips from what we do to look great.

If there is one area that is recognized as the biggest giveaway of a male past, it is voice. Adjusting the pitch of the human voice is not all that difficult, and there are many good tutorials out there. The average male voice is only one octave lower than the average female voice. Speaking and singing ranges for men and women overlap. And yet, so many of us MTF’s either don’t care, are afraid to try or gave up too soon.

While it is true that estrogen will not raise the voice, practice will. Voice control is muscle control. Like any other muscles, as throat muscles are used, they respond. Learn which muscles will raise your voice, and then practice what you learned. The more you speak in the higher range, the more those muscles will develop with a corresponding weakening of the muscles used in the lower range. I am starting to lose my ability to hit lower notes that I could have reached easily a couple of years ago. I have conversations with a trans sister who has been full-time a few years longer than me. For some time now, she is no longer able to sound male.

Here is a video that demonstrates the importance of voice (by the person my friend used to train hers):

But there is also more to voice than pitch. Cher had a deeper voice than Sonny, yet they used speech patterns that left no doubt that Cher was the woman and Sonny the man. Women have far more modulation with their voices and often end their sentences on an up note, while men tend to speak more monotone and end their sentences on a down note.

Makeup and hairstyle can help with your facial features. There are many methods of removing facial and body hair. The best one depends upon both your particular hair situation and how long the hair needs to be removed (i.e. are you full-time or part-time?). Whatever your physique problem area may be, there are cisgender women with the same issue. The Internet has expanded our information in this area, as we can search for “best styles if you have large ________.” In general, remember that darker colors decrease size and lighter colors increase size, and that we want to draw attention away from problem areas, not toward them.

What will also help is developing an eye for what cisgender women look like as far as balance between various parts of the body (e.g. shoulders to breasts to hips). Part of the challenge is overcoming the fact that the typical male torso can be approximated by a triangle with the base along the top (the shoulders), while the typical female body can be approximated by a triangle with the base along the bottom (the hips). But you won’t be the first woman who needs to do so.

Like voice, fashion sense, posture and walking gait can be learned and improved by observation and practice. Clothing and makeup go hand in hand to some extent, and are somewhat dependent on time of day and event. There are differences between the office and the beach; between a day trip to a grocery store and a night on the town or fancy dress party. To some extent, walk and posture is dependent on both age and footwear. Women walk differently in heels than they do in sneakers. And at least where I live, younger women tend to walk with a more masculine gait than middle aged women.

Since gloves have been out of fashion for ages, there is not much you can do about the hands. Longer, pointed nails will elongate the fingers better than a short French cut and will give a little positive enhancement. Darker and/or brighter nail polish will attract more attention to the fingertips. And if your hands are rough, moisturize as often as you can and wear gloves for manual labor.

High necklines and chokers can help disguise smaller protrusions of the Adam’s apple, but with larger bumps, they will only focus more attention on them and will be counter-productive unless very loose. For some, surgery will be the most viable option. A plastic surgeon is also an option for those who want to feminize their face and/or increase their bustline to balance larger shoulders and torso. For those who will be taking estrogen, some improvement can be expected in these two areas, with individual results varying.

As far as that bulge in a more sensitive spot for those of us who are part-time, non-op or pre-op, there are very many ways to camouflage or smooth that area. It will be the subject of a future article.

Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people? – 1st Kings 3:9