@tremec6speed wrote:If it were on a comic book store, I'd BUY it! (ofcourse, it's fanfic so that's not possible) However, if you pour that talent into your own non GSG characters and story line, all I can say is: INSTANT WIN!

Cheers mate, that really does mean a lot. I know we're always told "draw for yourself"... but it's nice to know that others enjoy what's doing.

I've actually tried an original comic before, but dropped it after ten pages... mostly because I just wasn't up to it at the time. There are another different set of OCs I have that I'd eventually like to do a comic with, but there more suited to a "gag a week" type format than a story.

Again... look for it on deviantART as twenty-one pages takes too long to post neatly here.

Also, pretty much bang on for a quarterly release (one day early), kinda happy about that.

If you've not guessed, I've had a bit of a push on with this... hence why my reviewing of other folks stuff has been lacking. Why? Because I wanted to avoid what happend last time: getting almost done then having to stop for over a month to deal with assignments. Practical upshot here though is the next issue could take awhile longer because the next few weeks are going to be uni focused.

Monty sure seems very comfortable in her role. Is she really that good, or did Jethro prep her well so she'd appear that good and therefore make the rest of the team feel comfortable with her being there?

Glad to see the turquoise outfit from your Outfitters thread make it. It's my second favorite of her after the YSL.

The hazy clifftop view overlooking Monaco & the French Riviera establishes the tone and color pallet wonderfully. I think the outdoor scenes are my favorite...I can almost feel the Mediterranean sun because of the effect your light, almost washed out pastels give.

Monty sure seems very comfortable in her role. Is she really that good, or did Jethro prep her well so she'd appear that good and therefore make the rest of the team feel comfortable with her being there?

Glad to see the turquoise outfit from your Outfitters thread make it. It's my second favorite of her after the YSL.

Cheers mate.

Yeah, Monty is pretty comfortable in her role. Remember the Monaco heist occurs a bit into J+M's time together. It's definately not the first job they've run, possibly the most complex but not the first so Monty's had practice.

More to the point though: this is what she does, day to day, week to week. Unlike the girls operating from the SWA, Monty's life isn't broken up into distinct "training, working, downtime" style periods. She's basically on the job 24/7 and so has gotten quite good at it (the flipside of course being that she's weaker in the "traditional" cyborg roles that she doesn't get the chance to train for on a regular basis). Jethro's the creative ideas man of the pair, Monty's the nit-picker and problem solver. In my head at least that's her major strengh: the ability to think her way through things, to take a load of disparate information, turn it into a logical conclusion then act on that. It's like Triela and CQB, Marisa and diving or Allison and driving... though in Monty's case it was more down to blind luck and good cyborg candidate selection than specialised conditioning.

The downside of that is that she considers much of the rest of the planet to be too slow to get an opinion and it frustrates her at times when other people can't keep up: "Why has it taken you mob three hours to argue your way to the conclusion I reached in the first five minutes?" A lot of her self-confidence comes from the fact that, at any particular time, she can be resonably certain she's the sharpest person in the room.

In some ways I think that comes down to my own preference for characters who get through on smarts and hard work rather than any technical kind of advantage (ironic that I was drawn to GSG with its super-powered cyborgs, but there you have it). People who do the best with what they have.

Thehazy clifftop view overlooking Monaco & the French Rivieraestablishes the tone and color pallet wonderfully. I think the outdoorscenes are my favorite...I can almost feel the Mediterranean sunbecause of the effect your light, almost washed out pastels give.

Looking forward to the rest!

yeeah... I got halfway through posting and realised I'd saved everything in a higher quality jpg than I'd normally use. However I was too lazy to go back and change it... so my bad. Also of course, one of the first things to go when you reduce jpg quality are the more subtle colour changes... so you'd loose all those toneing effects

"I am the sword of justiceForged by fate and tempered with timeI have struggled to stay true to his dreams and idealsNever knowing defeatNor victoryForever waiting for his returnThis is my, Infinite Sword Dance"

And the subplot with Eric is a teasingly guilty pleasure. I said "Aww" when Monty smiled a bit after he called her 'Ms.'.

Can't wait for the next episode.

Cheers mate. To be honest I'd intended that look to be more directed at Jethro in an "I'm ok with this particular course of action" sense... but I can see how it could be taken the other way and I'm cool with that too. Monty is afterall, not oblivious to the effect she can have on the opposite sex.

Umm, that's Jax by the way... Eric's the Asian looking bloke. I probably shouldn't have tried to introduce so many characters all at once

@crazyidiot78 wrote:Awsome job. I got a real kick out of the tango scene. I didn't thinkMonty would do something like that, and the bit with the jacket waspriceless.

Haha, well it's probably not something she'd do of her own volition. I mean, she's not going to be jumping up looking to tango at every opportunity. However I imagine she's quite capable of making sure it's "all eyes on Monty" should the situation require it.

That was really well done. I love your art style. What's best about the comic, though, is that it's something that I'd definitely pick up if I saw it in the local hobby shop. You'd make a great professional comic writer.

@Five_X wrote:That was really well done. I love your art style. What's best about the comic, though, is that it's something that I'd definitely pick up if I saw it in the local hobby shop. You'd make a great professional comic writer.

@Alfisti wrote:Yeah, Monty is pretty comfortable in her role. Remember the Monaco heist occurs a bit into J+M's time together. It's definately not the first job they've run, possibly the most complex but not the first so Monty's had practice.

More to the point though: this is what she does, day to day, week to week. Unlike the girls operating from the SWA, Monty's life isn't broken up into distinct "training, working, downtime" style periods. She's basically on the job 24/7 and so has gotten quite good at it (the flipside of course being that she's weaker in the "traditional" cyborg roles that she doesn't get the chance to train for on a regular basis)

So I imagine in any multi-fratelli operation Monty would be the "senior cyborg", at least until contact with the enemy is made.

@Alfisti wrote:More to the point though: this is what she does, day to day, week to week. Unlike the girls operating from the SWA, Monty's life isn't broken up into distinct "training, working, downtime" style periods. She's basically on the job 24/7 and so has gotten quite good at it (the flipside of course being that she's weaker in the "traditional" cyborg roles that she doesn't get the chance to train for on a regular basis)

So I imagine in any multi-fratelli operation Monty would be the "senior cyborg", at least until contact with the enemy is made.

A vote for Monty: She would be the senior cyborg even if the other cyborgs initiate contact with the enemy first. Reason being, what Monty and Jethro want with the enemy depends on their mission, killing the enemy is not always the mission objective. Intell seems to be their order until such decisions can be made, and that often means infiltration and working with the enemy first, interrogations second, and elimination a distant third.

If applied to the Fernando/Rachel team, as a mission supervisor, Rachel would be the Senior Cyborg. Since theirs is a work of finding the Nuclear terrorist organization world wide, sometimes just intercepting a component can stop the creation of a device. Thus theirs is mostly an intell and equipment tracking information gathering, then infiltration and finally elimination. If a cyborg steps out of grounds and prematurely kills a informant or arms dealer with information, they are going to hear it from Rachel and perhaps suspend them out of the mission. I would say that Monty would do the same thing. Fernando's team may seem to be the one with the most down time but they are constantly scrounging for information on all levels. Thus he has to have friends everywhere in the Arms market, something he cant do without Leon or Juanita. Once everything has been verified and reverified, and verified one more time, then the Fernando team goes out and takes action. As seen, I suspect Jethro and Monty works the same way.

@ElfenMagix wrote:A vote for Monty: She would be the senior cyborg even if the other cyborgs initiate contact with the enemy first. Reason being, what Monty and Jethro want with the enemy depends on their mission, killing the enemy is not always the mission objective. Intell seems to be their order until such decisions can be made, and that often means infiltration and working with the enemy first, interrogations second, and elimination a distant third.

If applied to the Fernando/Rachel team, as a mission supervisor, Rachel would be the Senior Cyborg. Since theirs is a work of finding the Nuclear terrorist organization world wide, sometimes just intercepting a component can stop the creation of a device. Thus theirs is mostly an intell and equipment tracking information gathering, then infiltration and finally elimination. If a cyborg steps out of grounds and prematurely kills a informant or arms dealer with information, they are going to hear it from Rachel and perhaps suspend them out of the mission. I would say that Monty would do the same thing. Fernando's team may seem to be the one with the most down time but they are constantly scrounging for information on all levels. Thus he has to have friends everywhere in the Arms market, something he cant do without Leon or Juanita. Once everything has been verified and reverified, and verified one more time, then the Fernando team goes out and takes action. As seen, I suspect Jethro and Monty works the same way.

Honestly, I think the major reason that Monty would possibly wind up as "senior cyborg" on an op is because she just wouldn't comprehend that it should be any other way.

In all seriousness though: as I said, this is the sort of thing she does day-in day-out, week-in week-out. On a multi-team op, and untill advised otherwise, she'd just drop into an organizeational roll without even thinking about it... and to be honest Jethro would be planning and passing things off to her without thinking about it as well. That's just how their world works.

And yes, she'd be right ticked if another cyborg off'd someone she wanted information out of. How she handled that however would depend on the cyborg in question. Example: she'd be less harsh on Triela, whom she trusts to exercise a certain level of judgement, than she would be on say, 'Etta, whom she doesn't.

Fortunately for all involved though J+M are generally off doing their own thing

So yeah, they follow what sounds like a similar sort of MO to Fernando's team. The way I see them operating is running around following their noses and information whilst also being available for more specific jobs as set down by the SWA as required (which tick them off to varying degrees depending on how disruptive they are to their overarching work). One thing I intend to do with the comic is to have each arc lead into the next. So info gained in the Prologue led to the Monaco arc, which will then garner information leading into the arc after that and so on.

Wonderful sea-scape of the Principality...it's a shame it gets to take up less than half the page.

I took a look at the harbor on Google Earth and found your drawing to be accurate as well. Great detail!

Page 2-1

Throughout the entire section at the apartment you use whites & pastel colors to convey a sense that the rooms are washed out by the morning sun. Highlight for me on this page is the layered action in the final panel. Monty senses (well...see's) a threat and covers Jethro, Jethro already knows what's going on and has a restraining hand on her shoulder.

Page 2-2

This character is Harris, the "insider" right? With so many characters it might be merciful to your readers to drop the character's names a bit more...worked into conversation. I'd say Monty's pissed off yet puzzled look in the second frame is cute, but we all know how she reacts to the "c" word.

Page 2-3 to 5

"I threw in a basic shift cipher, mostly because it'll mess with Jax's head." Clever inter-squad shenanigans...also serves to show the mood is still light.The detail of Monty plugging in the USB drive seems minor, but for some reason I like it.Letting Jethro speed things up when Monty & Harris get hung up on a detail (the form) demonstrates his leader's role, and a lot about his style. Let your troops figure things out themselves, nudge things along when needed. So Monty is skilled at forging Priscilla's signature, eh? That's not something many cyborgs would admit to their handler's and speaks volumes about J&M's relationship. Is the "almost too easy" line a bit of foreshadowing? Neat trick with the upside-down handwriting...although I'm not sure many in your American audience will understand the "Bob's your Uncle" joke.

Page 2-6

"Jax got back to me overnight..." Clever time-frame reference.Is that the much vaunted "French Press" coffee pot in Jethro's hand?

Page 2-7 to 9

Ah...Foreplay makes its highly anticipated appearance. I've noticed that you signal setting changes by changing up the color pallet...is that something you're doing consciously?Shamus' patience seems strained by finding himself beneath Monty in the "pecking order" and that allows another good example of Jethro's subtle management style (taking notes here).I like how everyone seems to be bracing themselves in the moving boat, most evident in the last panel of Page 8...very dynamic & realistic.Monty holds her own against the surly Shamus brilliantly on page 9...I doubt many other cyborgs could have done that. The night-time colors serve to isolate them and create a private exchange, even while we remember that others are just a few meters away.

Page 2-10 to 14

A pretty comical sequence after the somewhat tense exchange between Monty & Shamus, returning us to the lighthearted mood (a shift to light colors as well...). Jax'es nervous discomfort in the second panel of Page 12 is amusing, and Monty seems almost charmed by it in the next panel.

Page 15

I love the dark violet color scheme here. In addition to creating a dark setting it makes the boarders of the room ambiguous.

Page 16

More building tension? Final panel; seems like with cyborg ears Monty would have no trouble at all hearing every word of Jethro & Jax's conversation.

Page 17

I'm not the first to say it...the tango sequence is one of the most visually striking things you've penned. Your work is typically made up of curves, straight lines being a rarity, but here you've made terrific use of straight lines.I can relate to Jax's jaw-drop...J&M's tango looks like something you'd expect in a Britney story! At least Monty's kept the matter of what color underwear she buys confidential.

Page 18 to 19

The guard's subtle eye shift shows Jethro & Monty's distraction is working...the men at the table in 19-second panel seem to enjoy the entertainment as well, but who is this dark haired figure in 19-3...a nemesis to the operation perhaps?"I need to wash my mouth out." I'm not believing it for a second, Monty. Oh I don't doubt that she'd like another Negroni, but she's still a cyborg conditioned to adore her handler.

Page 20

Jax's ability to recognize valid information from gibberish data streams rings true...I have to do it now and then working with GPS and underwater acoustics. Clever to end the chapter on a comical note with a hint of innuendo.

@Professor Voodoo wrote:Wonderful sea-scape of the Principality...it's a shame it gets to take up less than half the page.

I took a look at the harbor on Google Earth and found your drawing to be accurate as well. Great detail!

Heh, yeah. I really wanted a wide panorama for this shot, but that doesn't work well on a portrait layout and going landscape wasn't really an option for a title page either. As for the detail... I like to try and get things at least resonably correct where I can, however drawing Monaco from there just about killed me. Cityscapes are something that I have a love/hate relationship with. The other intent of this aerial view was to set the scene a little, particularly by giving the viewer a reference for where Foreplay is moored later in the chapter.

This character is Harris, the "insider" right? With so many characters it might be merciful to your readers to drop the character's names a bit more...worked into conversation. I'd say Monty's pissed off yet puzzled look in the second frame is cute, but we all know how she reacts to the "c" word.

Yeah, he's the insider. I was dubious about introducing so many characters so quickly for this story, and this is why. I get lost when people do that myself. Will try and drop a few more names into conversations but... it's something I find difficult to do and at the same time make the conversation feel natural. Go figure.

The detail of Monty plugging in the USB drive seems minor, but for some reason I like it. Letting Jethro speed things up when Monty & Harris get hung up on a detail (the form) demonstrates his leader's role, and a lot about his style. Let your troops figure things out themselves, nudge things along when needed.

Yeah, I'm not actualy entirely sure why I put that panel with the thumb-drive in, but it seemed like a break in the conversation that needed to happen... maybe just a shifting of gears into more of a work focus for the team.

I think I've mentioned it before, but I sort of see Jethro as being the creative mind of the pair and Monty being the nuts-and-bolts problem solver. So him taking a bit of a back seat probably makes sense there. I'd like to say it was a concious decision to write him like that, but it wasn't... that's just the way the conversation fell and "felt right".

So Monty is skilled at forging Priscilla's signature, eh? That's not something many cyborgs would admit to their handler's and speaks volumes about J&M's relationship.

Probably speaks volumes about their work too...

...Originally Monty was saying it was easier to forge than Ferro's signature rather than Priscilla's. But I've always pictured Ferro as being on pretty good terms with the Blackers; Monty's business like approach should probably appeal to her if nothing else. Besides they need some allies in the SWA brass, and Ferro's well placed to deal with some of their more unusual requests. Plus she's just high enough to make her able to pull strings but not quite high enough to make it easy for her to do so for big stuff.

Neat trick with the upside-down handwriting...although I'm not sure many in your American audience will understand the "Bob's your Uncle" joke.

You can thank White Collar for that one. One of the problems I have with jumping into J+M's timeline mid-way is that Monty's already got all the basics down pat, so chances to have Jethro teach her (and hence the reader) a bit of tradecraft are few and far between. When the opportunity pops up to have him hone her skills I try to take it.

"Jax got back to me overnight..." Clever time-frame reference.Is that the much vaunted "French Press" coffee pot in Jethro's hand?

Ah no, what Jethro's holding there is a stovetop perk. It's the poor man's espresso machine. A french press is what Big Nick is holding when they board Foreplay... allow me to demonstrate:

So what Jethro's got is the one of the left, and it works like so:

You boil the water in the bottom and the steam forces said water up through the grindings. The espresso bubbles up and out the little tower and collects in the top part. Do it right and you get a pretty mean coffee. Do it wrong and you risk burning the grind. The trick is to set it just hot enough so that the first water that goes through is cool enough so as to wet the grind and prevent it from getting singed later. Don't set it too cool though otherwise you'll never get your coffee. Buying a good perk helps as well. This one's stainless steel so holds the heat better and makes it more controlable (and less likely to blow up) than the cheaper aluminium types.

Yes and no, but it is one of the reasons I decided to persevere with colour rather than going to grey-scale... it's just so damn good for setting atmosphere. Usually I pick colour schemes for scenes with that in mind, and since the mood often changes from scene to scene... might just add a caveat there though: Monty, Jethro and most of the main characters have set colour swatches I use (and to be honest there's colours that I use in each scene as well... the purple in the shadows for example). There's a certain amount of post-production work with levels and colour balance that happens to make each scene hang together. So for example in a late afternoon scene I'll trim the ends of the levels harder than I would for a midday scene so the shadows get deeper and the highlights blow out more.

Shamus' patience seems strained by finding himself beneath Monty in the "pecking order"

Yeah, I think I've mentioned it before but I'm resonably aware that not everyone's going to enjoy getting their marching orders from a young teenager (infact it's probably one of the things that rubs a lot of people up the wrong way). In defference to that, different people are going to react to Monty's position and general attitude in different ways. Some will take it in their stride, some will probably be quite patronizing, others are going to be obstinate and so on. So while Nick (who I tend to view as being thougtfull, quiet and competent) is taking it in his stride, Shamus is getting tempremental.

Add to that Monty's playing the role of Jethro's understudy/possible lover rather than that of "cyborg-super-spy". So while she's actually probably got a similar amount of dive experience to Shamus (who's more as a demo-guy that can use SCUBA gear rather than a specialist diver) he doesn't know that... and she's treading all over his territory. I'd be a little miffed if someone who'd never lifted a bonnet started telling me how to fix the Alfetta, so same deal.

Monty holds her own against the surly Shamus brilliantly on page 9...I doubt many other cyborgs could have done that.

Well Monty tends to get out and deal with the general public a bit more than the average cyborg and I imagine it's not the first time she's had to defend her position as Jethro's 2IC either. She does however tend to be a bit belligerant in these situations rather than finding a happy medium. The intention there was sort of to illustrate Monty's less-than-democratic approach to dealing with people-Monty-doesn't-like.

The short version of that conversation of course is, "You have a problem with me? That's nice... stiffshit."

Now Shamus can go stew over that.

More building tension? Final panel; seems like with cyborg ears Monty would have no trouble at all hearing every word of Jethro & Jax's conversation.

Ahh... yeah. I guess I tend to write Monty as mostly human. She plays "normal" and tends to bring out cyborg-super-strength as a last resort rather than a first option. Unfortunately that means I also tend to forget about the girls' more passive cyborg abilities if I'm not careful.

I think we'll just go with "ramping up the tension".

I'm not the first to say it...the tango sequence is one of the most visually striking things you've penned. Your work is typically made up of curves, straight lines being a rarity, but here you've made terrific use of straight lines.I can relate to Jax's jaw-drop...J&M's tango looks like something you'd expect in a Britney story! At least Monty's kept the matter of what color underwear she buys confidential.

Brit: Underwear?

Glad it worked though. Monty's still the resident "Bond Girl" and is perfectly capable of making sure she has all the local male attention if need be.

Looks like Kara nicked Michele's credit card again. I liked Marisa's description of Monty and really doesn't seem to like her very much.

Well, there is some truth in what Kara's saying. In stores like those it is somewhat unlikely that girls their age would be spending their own cash, so it make sense to use Michele's card. Unfortunately, Monty's mile-wide independent streak tends to rail a bit at things like that.

As to Mari, Voodoo and I have talked a bit about how she and Monty would related a fair bit. I tend to think they have personalities that are going to be fundamentally at odds with each other: the rumbunctious and energetic Marisa vs. the serious and considered Monty. By this stage they're at a stage where they can probably (grudgingly) respect each other's different talents, but probably aren't going to be jumping at the opportunity to work together.

@Officer_Charon wrote:And, as one of my favorite fratello, it was an absolute treat to see Marisa and Elio make an appearance

Thanks goes to Voodoo for allowing me to use them, as it does to Kiskaloo for letting me borrow Kara and Michele.

@MP5 wrote:You have made my Sunday, Alfisti. A great thing to read as I finish recovering from sickness.

I was weighing up whether to put this here or in the "Scenes that don't fit anywhere else" thread... but since I have the luxury and flexiblity of a dA gallery, I figure here will do.

Anyway, it's a short scene detailing Monty's "awakening". I originally intended to run it as an interlude between chapters but it got put off and put off, to the stage where half of it no-longer fitted with what I envisaged the event to be like and the art became somewhat dated.

So I've cleaned up the script to bring it more into line with how I see J+M now and just slapped it roughly onto the lineart.

There was one more page, but I'm very not happy with how Monty's drawn in it... her dress style is too close to how she appears in the "current" J+M timeline. There's too much of Monty's more developed character in it. However, effectively the comic ends with her rapping on one-way glass and asking the time... letting her take some initiative as part of her base character and also noting that she knew there were people watching her all along.

Alfisti - that was great!Loved every bit of it!Would like to have seen the last page though. If you have problems in thinking what she should wear on her first day, a pair of broken-in jeans and sneakers for her first day would be good. At least she has some modesty, as most cyborgs dont!

@crazyidiot78 wrote:So when will the SWA launch its own line of hair care products.

It'll be on shelves this autumn under "Top Secret Haircare".

@ElfenMagix wrote:Would like to have seen the last page though. If you have problems in thinking what she should wear on her first day, a pair of broken-in jeans and sneakers for her first day would be good. At least she has some modesty, as most cyborgs dont!

That's actually one of the major reasons I didn't show the last page. What Monty's wearing for it is just too much like what she wears now: the deep-V white shirt and pencil skirt. Those just by themselves I wouldn't have minded so much, but at the time I also gaver her sunglasses and the neck-scarf which makes the whole thing just a little too dressy and stylish for her "undeveloped" character.

@MP5 wrote:Also, I am going to take note of Jethro feeling old if someone calls him 'Mister Blacker.' Fits perfectly with the fact that Saladin is on first-name basis with a few handlers....

But also take note that, of the list of alternatives that Jethro gave Monty, none of them is his first name, or a nickname or something that would be used between people who are purely friends or family. They're more casual forms of address, but they're casual forms of address you'd use to a superior.

Have no doubt about it: Monty may have earned a lot of freedom in what she says and does, but Jethro is still in charge of the fratello. One of the better ways to view how J+M's fratello works is (as I think Kisk and a few others have picked up on) as that of a really good XO and her Commanding Officer. So while the XO pretty much has free reign to do as she sees fit, make decisions, give opinions, pick holes and, if need be, tell her CO he's being an utter twat, it's ultimately the Commander who decides where the ship goes and what it does. The flip side of that also being that it's the XO's job to deal with the day-to-day running of the outfit (intercepting mail, addressing paperwork, dealing with finances/supplies and so on) so the Commander can get on with doing Commandery things.

I can't stress enough though that Monty earned her right to the position she now enjoys. Don't expect Jethro to extend the same privilages and freedoms to other cyborgs as a matter of course.

I'm not sure I understand the significance of the ambulance in front of the Fairmont, but love the expression & body language on the girl in the second panel of page one. The contrast between darkness outside and the harsh lights of the lobby is evocative too. That 3-dimensional angled script on the Fairmont sign must have been difficult to get so perfect.

Page 2

I see you finally decided on a sleep outfit for Monty. Jethro seems far more affected by the early wake-up than his charge...I'm reminded of Robert's passage in The Long Weekend about cyborgs having an ability to look fresh & made up regardless of the circumstances. I do note Monty's hair is a little mussed, but full blown "bed-head" would be out of character for her.

Pages 3-7

I think I remember you expressing some concern that this chapter would be rather wordy, but it seems your fears were misplaced. You cover a lot of important ground over these pages & any dialogue over-load is mitigated by the numerous lighting, setting & angle changes which keep things visually interesting during plot exposition. The t-shirt on Jax (meh.) comically contrasted with his less than apathetic freak out over the details is a highlight here.

Pages 8-10

The switch to a dark background palette does a good job at signaling passage of a whole day...so much so that the little narration block at the top of the page is almost unnecessary (although it does allow you to slip in a caffeine joke). It also serves to convey that the immediate problems have all been addressed and it's just Jethro & Monty alone again.At first the pizza boxes & Red Bull cans seemed out of place in the world of place in the world of J&M, but upon consideration fast food & fast caffeine would certainly play an important role in their lives. Even downloaded at full size the text explaining that Lorenzo & Alboreto are "flat mates" is a bit small.

Lorenzo: A flat? I know it's government work but the Agency pays me a bit better than apartment dweller wages!

That Scuderia Ferrari screen saver can only mean one thing...

Page 11

The long anticipated arrival of Michele Pagani. I must admit I was not 100% fond of his concept drawing, but that was for you & Kisk to work out so I kept my mouth shut. Turns out he looks a lot better in realistic motion poses...well done. As for Kara, I love her puzzled yet content half-smile, and the fact that when Michele proposes a cruise to Monte Carlo she doesn't ask "Why?" but "When?"

Page 12

It's a shame the salon aboard Bright Star is such a small panel...it's such an intricate drawing with all the intersecting angles of the couches that it deserves a whole page! The seating positions in that same panel tell a lot about character as well; Michele laid back, casual yet dignified...Kara with one leg tucked under her, very teenager-ish...Elio upright and filling every inch of the chair...Marisa on the edge of her own seat, looking ready to jump at a moment's notice. Another really good Elio observation is that he doesn't ask Kara to show him the message, he tells her he'd like to see it. She even seems a little put off by his manner.And the text message...they're right, I can't see Monty using any of that text message shorthand foolishness like "heard u would..." (Kara, however, I can see doing so).

Unbelievable work as always...my humble observations on the second half will come soon!

@Professor Voodoo wrote:I'm not sure I understand the significance of the ambulance in front of the Fairmont

Originally I referenced that later in the conversation between Monty and Jax, having Jax state that the guard must have had some sort of medical difficulty. I wound up changing that though as there was no way for Jax to know that and, as the script evolved, it just didn't flow with the conversation or Jax's personality. Unfortunately the first page had been drawn by then and I wasn't in the mood to go back and re-think it.

I see you finally decided on a sleep outfit for Monty.

Yeah, though you'll note she was wearing her PJ's at breakfast in the previous chapter as well.

Jethro seems far more affected by the early wake-up than his charge...I'm reminded of Robert's passage in The Long Weekend about cyborgs having an ability to look fresh & made up regardless of the circumstances.

I think that could be part of it, though I imagine Monty as someone who can transition between sleeping and awake quite quickly. That and she's just been hit with a a major difficulty... which can do wonders for having you awake in a hurry.

At first the pizza boxes & Red Bull cans seemed out of place in the world of place in the world of J&M, but upon consideration fast food & fast caffeine would certainly play an important role in their lives.

I think it's worth throwing in the odd reminder that J+M's life isn't all romance and adventure... because there's quite a lot of intelligence analysis, foot work and long nights need to be put in in order to find the start of said romance and adventure. So no, they'd be no strangers to fast food and fast caffiene. As I think I've stated before: J+M like and appreciate nice stuff, and will take it if they can get it, at the end of the day they don't need it.

Even downloaded at full size the text explaining that Lorenzo & Alboreto are "flat mates" is a bit small.

Hmm, you're right. I'll look to rectifying that.

I must admit I was not 100% fond of his concept drawing, but that was for you & Kisk to work out so I kept my mouth shut. Turns out he looks a lot better in realistic motion poses...well done.

Yeah, unfortunately my standard issue "character designing" pose generally doesn't do much for the characters themselves. It's more intended so that you can get a good look at most of the character.

Another really good Elio observation is that he doesn't ask Kara to show him the message, he tells her he'd like to see it.

Somehow I've never really pictured Elio as an "asking" sort of man. At least not with people who he expects to do what he damn-well tells them to.

I can't see Monty using any of that text message shorthand foolishness like "heard u would..."

It hurt me greatly to write that text message... Yeah, I'm also one of those people who sends text messages with proper grammar and punctuation.

@Alfisti wrote:J M like and appreciate nice stuff, and will take it if they can get it, at the end of the day they don't need it.

Agapita: Are you implying that pizza is somehow not nice stuff?

I'm also one of those people who sends text messages with proper grammar and punctuation.

Ditto here...I dare say I am the only person to have ever spelled out the words triangulation & configuration in the same text message.

But on to the second half of Chapter 3...

Pages 13-15

The Kara-Monty shopping trip is a highlight of this chapter. The metal ring belt is a great touch & I'm surprised Kara did not take umbrage at the term "mindlessly shopping."

Kara: Shopping is serious business! There is absolutely nothing mindless about it!

Her line; "No girl our age is going to be spending her own money here" is actually very smart & well placed. It's exactly the sort of thing Monty would overlook. Note; Kara's watch does a bit of migrating from wrist to wrist in this section (Monty's stays put on her left).The thing that strikes me most about the cafe scene is how you kept the backgrounds simple & uncluttered yet still managed to convey the feeling of a somewhat crowded establishment. I'm also curious as to how the cufflinks will play into the story.And a cyborg slap is probably enough to break the cheekbones of a normal human!

Pages 16-17

This cutaway to the other team members seems to break the point-of-view continuity, but I suppose we need an update on their own parts of the plan. Once again, nice use of a color palette shift to signal change of venue. I really like the shirt you gave Eric...and I got a kick out of Jax's line about Monty dodging infrared lasers she "can't see." If they only knew...

Pages 18-19

If I write another scene set aboard Bright Star I'm going to have to incorporate some of the numerous little details you've given us. The blue/white striped coffee mugs look appropriately nautical, and as this is Michele's boat I see that the computers are all Apple products.What can I say about the way you've presented Marisa except absolutely terrific. The exuberant gossip session with Kara...her flying pig-tails in the next frame and Elio's hand atop her head during the briefing (an attempt to contain some of her boundless energy?) you've really nailed the character.

Page 20

The attention you gave to the dive gear is amazing. I hope that in focusing on Marisa's face in the second panel people don't miss the fact that you drew Elio in the background as well. You even remembered to include 2 lines on the hydraulic tool they're using! The only issue here is my fault; Marisa is wearing split fins, which technical divers typically do not use (they limit your ability to do certain propulsion kicks). I'm guessing you based that on the photo I provided...I was using the wrong fins that day...sorry. Frankly, I don't think anyone but a huge SCUBA dork like me would even notice.Your underwater effects are just perfect...the pervasive darkness broken by very harsh white light, and just a few bubbles from the rebreathers.Michele seems to take Marisa's lunacy in stride...I guess he would be used to it by now. And getting the final line is Marisa (quite an honor). This portrait of her really delivers on her "cute but insane" factor.Excellent stuff as always Alfisti...have I mentioned what a staggering undertaking this is? Multiple times? Well, it's true. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and I'm sure I'm not alone!Thoughts on Monty's wake-up soon...

@Alfisti wrote:J M like and appreciate nice stuff, and will take it if they can get it, at the end of the day they don't need it.

Agapita: Are you implying that pizza is somehow not nice stuff?

Not takeaway it isn't...though I like to think that any takeaway pizza in Monte Carlo would at least falls under the "gourmet" category.

I'm surprised Kara did not take umbrage at the term "mindlessly shopping."

Kara: Shopping is serious business! There is absolutely nothing mindless about it!

Eh, I'll admit I tend to crank the more extreme personality traits back a notch or two (Marisa excepted) in my own writing. So I think Kara may have missed this particular little jab here, or just let it slide.

Her line; "No girl our age is going to be spending her own money here" is actually very smart & well placed. It's exactly the sort of thing Monty would overlook.

Well... I figured I couldn't let everything between the two go one way.

In all seriousness though: it is the sort of thing Monty would overlook. Unforunately her independent streak tends to get in the way in situations like this... and yes I did also want to make sure Kara got in a few moments of her own, and it didn't just turn into Monty being an arse to her.

Note; Kara's watch does a bit of migrating from wrist to wrist in this section (Monty's stays put on her left).

Bollocks, you're right. Normally I default to drawing watches on the left wrist (unless the character is specifically left handed or something), so I don't know what happened there

I'm also curious as to how the cufflinks will play into the story.

They're these ones (you'll note they're open later on aboard Bright Star). They seem like the sort of "spy gadget" that J+M could deal with: off the shelf (there's a bit in the next issue "Bond wannabees"... which is probably suprisingly good cover for being an actual secret agent), ubiquitous and useful.

And a cyborg slap is probably enough to break the cheekbones of a normal human!

I figure Kara's got enough wits about her not to hit Monty so hard that she's thrown out of the chair.

This cutaway to the other team members seems to break the point-of-view continuity, but I suppose we need an update on their own parts of the plan.

The original intention WAS to draw everything from J+M's perspective for the comic. However that would have rapidly turned into them just talking about stuff happening... which would be very dull for everyone involved...

...Plus it gave me a chance to bust out some sweet mid-century, Dansk Design style furniture Not to mention it helps "pass time" while Kara gets back to the boat.

The blue/white striped coffee mugs look appropriately nautical, and as this is Michele's boat I see that the computers are all Apple products.

Yeah, I didn't know if Elio would have his own laptop or not... but he doesn't stike me as likely to. Figured he'd be borrowing Kara's.

(an attempt to contain some of her boundless energy?)

Or prevent her from reading whatever's on his computer screen.

The only issue here is my fault; Marisa is wearing split fins, which technical divers typically do not use (they limit your ability to do certain propulsion kicks). I'm guessing you based that on the photo I provided...I was using the wrong fins that day...sorry. Frankly, I don't think anyone but a huge SCUBA dork like me would even notice.

Actually, I do know I have at least one other tech diver (or at least ex-tech diver) reading this on dA.

But yeah, I did base it on that picture you sent... will rectify if I need to draw their fins again (or just stick with the split fins for now... for continuity's sake, something to think on). Glad to know it's all worked out though. I'll admit the gear was an utter pain in the arse to draw... but hopefully worth it.

Sadly SCUBA diving is something I'll probably never have the pleasure of doing (screw you asthma, screw you), so I'm pretty much relying on you to pull me up for anything that's wrong.

Michele seems to take Marisa's lunacy in stride...I guess he would be used to it by now. And getting the final line is Marisa (quite an honor).

Michele seems to have almost unlimited capacity to put up with cyborg wierdness (well, bar the Kara teething troubles). Being the Agency resident "nice guy" probably helps.

The opportunity to end the chapter on a Marisa line was just too good to pass up... and going by the number of positive responses she's been getting it seems to have been the correct approach too.

Not takeaway it isn't...though I like to think that any takeaway pizza in Monte Carlo would at least falls under the "gourmet" category.

Agapita: Pizza can be a dusting on toasted bread for a light lunch, a sumptuous platter to be enjoyed with friends or a little disc to bite through quickly, it can be spun by chefs to make preparation evocative art or it can be as greasily indulgent as you desire. Fast or slow, large or small, healthy or decadadent - it is the Universal Food!

Domino's Rep.: Thank you very much, your cheque will be in the mail.

I'm probably putting a little of myself in Agapita here, too. I need to lose a bit of weight and I haven't been able to eat pizzas for over two months. It's a bit wearing.

there's a bit in the next issue "Bond wannabees"... which is probably suprisingly good cover for being an actual secret agent

I suppose that that would be a decent double-bluff - play the idiot to mask your competence.

(or just stick with the split fins for now... for continuity's sake, something to think on)

Or hey, follow the prime tenet of design - if you can't hide it, make it a feature. It was a deliberate mistake all along! Have a few panels where Marisa gets into difficulty in the confines of the outflow precisely because "she can't do certain types of propulsion kicks" and Elio complains about the lack of equipment aboard the Bright Star. You get plot and technical kudos!

@Alfisti wrote:Yeah, I didn't know if Elio would have his own laptop or not... but he doesn't stike me as likely to. Figured he'd be borrowing Kara's.

These days it's nearly impossible to do business without one, so I conceed that Elio Alboreto must own a computer of some kind...probably a laptop. I'm sure the one he's using aboard Bright Star is one of Michele or Kara's since Elio's too cheap to buy an Apple.

@Robert Frazer wrote:Agapita: Pizza can be a dusting on toasted bread for a light lunch, a sumptuous platter to be enjoyed with friends or a little disc to bite through quickly, it can be spun by chefs to make preparation evocative art or it can be as greasily indulgent as you desire. Fast or slow, large or small, healthy or decadadent - it is the Universal Food!

At some point I plan to introduce to my SWA "universe" the great debate; Did Pizza originate in Italy or America?

Advocates of the pro-American side can point out that tomatoes are a New World plant...pro-Italian forces cite texts that refer to the dish as far back as Etruscan times. This of course leads to hours of debate amongst the international SWA staff.

Monty: (facepalm) And you people wonder why the Skipper and I don't drop by more often.

Agapita: You can't claim neutrality on this issue, Monique...pick a side!

@Alfisti wrote:Yeah, I didn't know if Elio would have his own laptop or not... but he doesn't stike me as likely to. Figured he'd be borrowing Kara's.

These days it's nearly impossible to do business without one, so I conceed that Elio Alboreto must own a computer of some kind...probably a laptop. I'm sure the one he's using aboard Bright Star is one of Michele or Kara's since Elio's too cheap to buy an Apple.

Fernando: You should ask me for one. Hell, the super cluster I have in my dorm just went up to 29 laptop units. I'll give you one just to keep the CPU core at an even number. What is it? These are rare never released to the public Dual Core G5 processor Powerbooks and iBooks. I'll gave you a PowerBook, since its metal case is nearly indestructable.

Elio: Never released?

Fernando: These were experimental units made by Apple when they thought the IBM G6 CPU core was going to come out but it didn't, not on time at least. Then at the last minute they went with Intel (BOOO!!!). *sigh* True 128/256Bit core CPUs running at 2.8GHz on a laptop. You will never get anything like this on an Intel system. Never.

Elio: I dont know what to say...

Fernando: Just enjoy.

Elio: (handing it to Marisa) But why do you have so many laptops?

Fernando: Its to process so much data, the SWA System would choke if it got a load of what I'm processing.

Marisa: Hey! There's all the 3D Shoot'em Ups in Here! And They All Connect to 'Elfen's Wonderland' Server!