Tiger Woods Is So Nuts

Tiger Woods is completely insane. First off, he’s half black and half Asian. Since when is that a thing? It’s not that he was fucking dozens of Chili’s hostesses and a few bad porn stars, it’s the way he was doing it. He also married a cunt, which people in the mental health field regard as a Tell. More of a tell, excerpts of his texts to porn-star Josyln James:

“Hurry so I come in that ass… Have you ever had a golden shower done to you?… I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around. Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat. Hold you down while I choke you and fuck that ass that I own. Then I’m going to tell you to shut the fuck up while I slap your face and pull your hair for making noise.”

Clearly, this man was bored. Also that’s no way to talk to your gardener.

Some guy wrote an extremely compelling article recently about how Woods was obsessed with the Navy SEALS. They allowed him to train with them from time to time. Mind you, he’s doing all of this sober. It’s the mark of a true lunatic.

He, failingly, attempted to qualify for the SEALS and, per their requirements, was trying to run a ridiculously fast rate of speed while wearing boots. This lead him to fuck up his knee really bad and loose tens of millions of dollars. He also wrote an email to then corrupt Secretary of State Hillary Clinton asking her to drop invading countries and give him access to a private golf course. Could you please just do some booze and coke and be normal?

There are a lot of takeaways here. They’re not that subtle. Woods is a fucking weirdo. And he’s golden showered all those D list porn stars. Also, stay single.