We have two children one 12 year old boy who is honest, helpful, courtious and respectful,and a 10 yr old girl who looks us in the face and lies, talks back when we ask her to do something and seems to only care about herself. The lying is our big issue.beeing 10, so far it is almost harmless exept for the disrespect we feel when she lies. Our concern is the trend of the behavior and we are worried about the future when she is faced with boys, drugs and alchohol. We feel like honesty is the cornerstone of every good relationship and three out of four of us sinsrely honer that.

Hello and Thank You for responding. How is your daughter's behavior at school? What are her friends like? Does she spend a lot of time over her friends' houses? Is she involved in sports? How are her grades? Have there been any recent major life changes for her?

She doesn't get in trouble at school. But she likes to go to the nurses office and seemingly get attention. Recently she complained of eye pain and intentionally failed/lied on her "eye exam." She wears these silly fake glasses and just last week told me she wanted glasses. The next week she tried to manipulate the school nurse. She has good values and open communication about her friends. If they do something they shouldn't or treat her a way she doesn't want to be treated she will tell us about it. She has dumped friends for not being good people. She hangs out at our house and asks to have friends come over often. She is involved in sports. Cheerleading and Softball. Her gardes are great! A's that she is proud of, and some B's that she wishes were A's. No changes in her life. Within the past year she has become more sassyand talks back, and manipulative, and she lies to us. We can usually tell, and we will have her back track and give her that chance to tell the truth, and she continues with the lie. And the lies are over the most rediculous things....What book she is reading for school, where she found an eraser she came home with. What is the right punishment for her for lying and talking back. Sending her to her room isn't a good punishment, she likes it there. She doesn't have a cell phone that we can take away.

Hello...Your daughter's actions may be all for attention. Also, many television shows portray young girls lying and sneaking around behind their parents' backs just to see how far they can go with the lies. It is thrilling to your daughter but unfortunate for you. What you can do is to have her write down her feelings as to why she lied. What did she really want? How does lying make her feel? How does she think lying makes others feel? Often, children can express themselves on paper or even through drawings. Get hereto talk more about her feelings but you must approach her in a non threatening manner. You must teach her to be more empathetic. Professional counseling may be another alternative so that your daughter can hear advice from a neutral third party. You can first see if the school offers such counseling services for free. If not, you can seek a referral from her pediatrician.

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