Tag: allowing

Everyone remembers the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12) but I would like to see it upgraded to the Diamond Rule rewritten to say, “Allow unto others as you would have them allow unto you.”

That is to say that you allow everyone else the same respect and courtesy that you would like to receive from them. Not to hard to imagine how this diamond rule could be a huge improvement on the simply doing of things, which is great, but to simply allow someone to be, as you would like to be allowed to be, is a far superior concept.

The precepts for the diamond rule are that all of us are equal, we are all in the process of being, we are all in different stages of growth and change, no one is better than anyone else, we are all individual, yet one and the same.

Some of the ways we can prepare our mindsets to appreciate others in this way would be to honor our differences. Realizing that we are all uniquely different, seeing and celebrating our differences instead of putting others down for being different.

Not being afraid about getting to know someone who is different and might have potentially hugely differing points of views on things, may have an accent, might look and act different, maybe even have a sense of wonder about what it might to be like that person.

You might be able to develop a genuine curiosity about other people, how they go here, their history, heritage, and details about the place that they came from. No need to be timid shy about asking someone about their lives if its non-threatening and tempered with compassion, sharing, and caring.

If something someone says generates a negative feeling inside you, do not lash out at the person who is sharing. Instead, think about looking inside of yourself and ask yourself why you might have responded in that manner to his or her words?

There’s a good chance that you have some hidden (or maybe not so hidden) negative programming at work which might have made you feel that way. Might be an indicator that some deep inner work is necessary for you to continue your own growth and evolution.

As you get to know someone else’s world, continue to grow in your own sense of self, and what you believe. The more self-confident and secure you are in yourself you are, the less defensive you will have to be. If you are very secure about you, there is no need to be threatened by a differing viewpoint, and you can honor someone else’s point of view, like you would want them to honor yours.

Don’t be afraid about using your imagination to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. What might it be like for that person, having lived the life they lived until now? Even in the most difficult circumstances, if someone is disrespectful or expresses anger, instead of posting up to fight back, why not try to understand why he or she might be responding that way?

Chances are, if you’d lived that person’s life, step by step, having endured everything in life that led up to that point, you would have reacted the same way.

When someone’s reaction surprises you or seems to be out of character, you may become curious and wonder why? They might even want to talk about it if you’re non-threatening and genuinely concerned and can have this conversation compassionately without pride or judgment.

Just remember that deep down, we’re all the same. In fact, just to put your mind at ease, even with all our differences, we are 98.2% exactly the same.

So, maybe – just maybe – the next time you think about judging someone or feeling different, you might think about my diamond rule and, “Allow unto others as you would have them allow unto you.”

It doesn’t seem like too much to ask, allowing someone else the same respect and courtesy that you would like to be treated with.

What an excellent way to be different, by allowing others to be different, too, while feeling safe and secure in the knowledge that we are all in this together.

And if you are very brave, you can let the diamond rule flow over into all areas of life where you feel separation or negative feelings about other people, places, or things.

Everything you seek, everything you want for yourself, others, and the world, everything you need is inside of you to be and have whatever you desire and make your wildest dreams come true.

If you have a strong desire to occupy a certain station in life or be a certain type of person, your desires have already been manifested. The “you” that you desire to become has already appeared in all its fullness in the future.

Your desire is part of your birthright calling forth the “you” you were destined to be, the very same person you long to become. It is already done.

All the love you could possibly want exists within you right now in real time. You must look within yourself to find it. It has always been there, will always be there, in unlimited supply, and all you need to do is to tap into this vast powerhouse of love which is all-powerful, unconditional, and conquers all.

You have the power to send this purest of love energy to those to others, to those who struggle and face life’s greatest challenges. You can send love to the world, changing current circumstances, giving hope where there was none to be found, and calling forth new life in a desperate age.

All the happiness and joy you could ever want is there, waiting for you to be found and embraced, it is in every part of you, in all its fullness in any quantity you could imagine, ever present and hardwired, waiting for you to unleash it.

The peace that passes all understanding is fully activated within you. All you need to do is to let go of everything that clouds your view of it to see and feel all the purest peace that has always been there, will always be.

The prosperity and abundance which appears to elude you are already there, right now. All you need do is to remove all those thoughts and things that stand between you and all the things you want, as you embrace all your skills, abilities and gifts, allowing yourself to rise to your highest and best.

Have health concerns? Fear not. Perfect health is yours. It is all there in every cell of your body, the healthy you, waiting to come forth. You have the keys to overcoming every physiological or mental frailty, diagnosis or disease, inside of you, waiting to be released.

Looking to connect with others? You are already fully connected to all life. You are one with everything, all matter, seen and unseen, every person, place, and thing is an extension of yourself. All you have to do to realize this is true is to stop resisting and enforcing your own separation from the fullness of life. We are one.

All the attributes you desire to attain, trust, wisdom, discernment, intuition, all there inside of you waiting to be released.

Your mind is the insulator programmed to keep you from being all that you could possibly want to have or be. There is no struggle in having or being all that you desire. Those sparks of longing are all those things which you already are waiting to reveal themselves to you.

All you must do is to let go of all those things which keep you distracted from what you seek or desire, rise to the fullness of your divine nature and allow all that you desire to be, and be it will.

Your heart is the doorway to love which allows you to access all the unlimited possibilities, everything you want, everything you were destined to be and have as your birthright.

Billions of cells are causing you to want everything that is rightfully yours.

Let go of that which insulates you, your self, your ego, your programming, your beliefs, all that separates you from everything. Every “thing” is you and you are everything, exceeding your wildest expectations and dreams.

And all these possibilities in all their glory exists deep within every molecule of your body.

We all need people to get the best things in life, paradoxically, there are many people who will block your attempts to live a better life. So, to protect yourself, you hold the supportive people close to you and reject those who don’t. Build bridges don’t burn them.

Its no secret that we are surrounded by others who are there to share this experience of life, both the good and the not so good. Once you start focusing on your individual journey it’s easy to get in the pattern of extricating people from your life.

There is a certain as you clean up your people space, you realize how powerful you can be in controlling your personal space, and you get used to the idea of pushing others away. While this is important in the beginning, as you mature you realize that is better to build bridges instead of burning them.

It’s a fact, we need people. They help support us, and even the most difficult people can hold the keys to greater personal growth and expansions. They might even be the gatekeepers of the one elusive thing you are looking for.

If you are in the habit of pushing others away, it is likely that you are pushing other opportunities away as well. It is far better to allow and gather than to burn and clear. They are on opposite ends of the energy flow spectrum.

If you want the best things in life to be attracted to you and come easily then you want to remain in a state of loving acceptance, building bridges as you go. Those who are burning bridges can still have everything they want in life but will have a more difficult road ahead as they work hard and fight for everything their heart desires.

It takes far more time and energy to build and maintain bridges, rather than just burning them as you go. Building bridges, keep the line of communication open between those who are less desirable without having to burn the bridge and completely cutting off the relationship.

Building and maintaining a bridge with people who are abusive to you is never encouraged unless you can manage a way to maintain connection without being at risk of further abuse. Otherwise, it is likely important and meaningful to keep lines of communication open with those people in your life which might look as if they appear not to be beneficial at first blush.

Difficult people who are brought into your life often are the most valuable as you grow and expand, as they are placed in your life at the most provocative times to help either challenge or redirect you to opportunities which would have otherwise not been overlooked by you as you were focused on your journey, without taking the time to slow down, stop and smell the roses, so to speak.

In this respect, you are far better off to embrace the advice to build bridges don’t burn them, in effect to keep yourself in a state of openness and allowance, so that the best things in life can come to you easily.

A requirement to have the greatest state of welcoming and allowance is to wrap your head around the idea of not taking things personally and allowing what is to be.

Not taking things personally means that you are open to all possibilities, When someone says or does something, you realize that it has very little (probably nothing) to do about you at all. In most (if not all) cases, when someone says or does something that doesn’t sit right with you or is contradictory to what a concept that you hold dearly, it is not about you, it’s about them.

When people are hurting and in pain or incongruence in their life, they strike out at others. This is simply a person crying out, not attacking you. Once you understand this, you can be more compassionate and empathetic to their plight.

Allowing what is to be is simply what it is. What is, is what is, and it doesn’t need your attention or intervention if it doesn’t directly affect you. You can look at something that doesn’t resonate with you, acknowledge it, shrug your shoulders and just accept that it is happening, but not letting it derail your vibration or train of thought.

Build bridges don’t burn them. Without subjecting yourself to abuse, welcome and allow others to be in your life without taking things personally and allowing what is to be.

Sometimes in life things happen and you find yourself amidst a major change in your life, a natural disaster, an unexpected transfer, promotion, move, change in relationship status, health-related diagnosis, being a victim of a crime, loss of property, valuables, or investments, receiving a pink slip indicating the loss of your job, or any other variety of major challenges which could rock your world; just go with the big change.

I know, if you’re hanging out with me, you’re a mover and a shaker, you’ve got an incredible amount of things going on, running a pretty tight schedule. You’re growing, expanding, influencing others, and suddenly, without notice, you, too, get surprised by some major shift which could greatly affect your life.

Your first instinct is to resist, to try to push back or to try to control as much of the change as possible as details develop and are revealed to you. Yet, a better way to manage a big change is to find ways to

Let Go and Go with the Flow

You still have a lot of life to manage while all this change is going on, you know trying to micromanage the details would overwhelm you, so instead of trying to control all the details of the change which is unfolding before you, look at this as a divine invitation to further expand your being as you learn to let go and go with the flow.

Letting go of the details can be a frightening idea, especially if you’re like me; if I’m facing a change, I’m likely to start mapping things out, creating T-charts, To Do lists, flow charts and check lists, because, “How else you gonna get things done?”

If your life has a lot of control in it, and for high functioning deal makers, life- and world-changers, there’s a good chance there is a lot of control in your life, because that how you keep faithful to your cause, mission, and get things done.

But then, as you continue to grow and expand, your highest and best in its fullest degree needs no control, not by you anyway. I know, it sounds scary. It’s like you’re piloting a Boeing 787, and your instructions from the tower are to get up and take a seat in First Class and relax while God pilots the plane to its intended destination (which may not be the destination that was charted on your scheduled flight plan).

I recently found myself amidst a major change and I decided to apply the approach of,

Let Go and Let God

Letting go of my inclination to control all the details, just find myself in a particular flow or vibration, and let things unfold in a natural fashion. Very frightening indeed.

One of the advantages of letting go of all the details was that all the other details which I manage on a regular basis, which is a part of my mission and/or ministry, were uninterrupted by what would have been an unexpected and incredibly unsettling major change.

Already a huge advantage.

But then the most amazing things started to happen…

Opportunities appeared at just the right time and place. I mean, I could have never created a plan to create these things showing up, even with all my masterful coordination and doingness. It’s like something more divine was at work and whole series’ of life changes in other people and shifts and changes in environments taking place over months and years, all culminated in an incredible revelation, as everything just fell into place.

And my only job in terms of making all the adjustments necessary to accommodate this big change was to focus only on resisting resistance.

Resist Resistance

All I had to do was to resist resistance and allow things to fall into place, and they did; in ways I could have never imagined, far beyond any way I could have created the outcome with all my combined abilities and great concerted efforts.

Admidst by letting go and going with the flow, all I had to do is to when faced with a decision was to ask myself which option had the least resistance. In other words, to ask,

What’s Easiest?

Whatever appears to be the easiest option, with the least amount of resistance, led me to a higher vibration series of events or options.

The journey, which would have otherwise been tragic, became divinely orchestrated, simply unfolding before me, as if I’d been led, blindfolded, to my highest and best outcome, with little effort and without stress.

I challenge you, when you are next challenged with an unexpected major shift or change, rather than try to manage all the details of this life event, think about initiating a bit of letting go and letting the divine to unfold naturally, to see what happens.

Don’t Take It Personally

Okay, here I am on my journey, doing my thing and expecting other people to be doing their thing as I see it. Wait-a-minute… As I see it?

That’s the thing. You can’t interpret someone else’s doingness from your perspective. Truly not possible. You have no idea what’s going on in someone else’s life, just like no one has any idea about what’s going on inside your life inside your head, or have a clue of what it takes for you to accomplish any of the things that are noticeable by others.

Unrealistic Expectations

For me, it’s all about my unrealistic expectations, the impossible standard to which I hold myself accountable, which I am seriously reviewing at present. Because I hold myself to such (ridiculously) high standards, my expectation of others is to perform likewise without any consideration for what may be happening in anyone’s life or circumstance. This attitude permeates both my personal and professional life, as I maintain unreasonable expectations for those within my inner circle as well as clients and employees.

In the real world, when you have such a degree of expectation of any specific result, you are setting the stage for catastrophe, because rarely does anything happen or come into being, without some degree of chaos. This is a fact of life. Yes, things still happen, ideas materialize and projects come to fruition, but rarely without a hitch or challenge along the way.

When you have a specific expectation based on specific criteria and the verbal (or contractual) agreements of someone else you are setting the stage for failure. Even though everything might go according to plan, in many cases it will not. Now, you can militantly demand your expectation to be manifested – or else. You can unfriend, disenfranchise, excommunicate, or fire anyone who doesn’t comply one hundred percent, but you run the risk of being considered a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies.

Intentional Allowance

It’s a much more palatable process to embrace the idea of “intentional allowance.” That is to say, instead of having a specific detailed black and white expectation, think of reframing your expectation and transforming your expectation into an intention.
Instead of saying, “Okay, the four or you are selected for this project. I expect a delineated solution to the problem proposed presented in the conference room at 2:00 p.m.” period, offer up an intentional allowance alternative, such as, “I’d like you four to (it’s my intention that the four of you) examine this specific problem, and present me with your ideas for solution at 2:00 tomorrow in the conference room.” In the first scenario, you expect the outcome and if your expectations are not met, you can simply fire the participants (or any other unreasonable punishment for noncompliance). In the second scenario, you have stated your intention to arrive at solution and allowed them to do the best they can with what they have, and the result is what it is.

I totally get the ROI (return on investment) idea of running a militaristic operation being more cost effective when results are measured on simply results based on expenditure of time and/or financial outlay. On the other hand if you embrace the idea of intentional allowance, you allow someone to comfortably shine and express their ideas, options and input utilizing their unique inner strengths and abilities by offering them a safe space to exercise and deliver their creative best, in contrast to barking a do-this-or-else command (with its associated unrealistic expectation). Plus, when you’re empowering people to shine, the results can far exceed your expectations. It may take more time/investment but the return can be far greater if you intentionally allow things to come to life.

Don’t Take It Personally

I know, if someone doesn’t keep their word, you react as if they just poured battery acid all over your new car’s paint job, smashed out all the windows in your house and boiled your daughter’s bunny, “Aargh!” And all this angst over something that just simply is.

If someone does not do what they said they will do (in the manner you expected) it’s not the end of the world. Your stuff is about you, and someone else’s stuff is about them. Honor both sides of the human experience, as if we’re all doing the best we can with what we have, because we are.

Even though you are the most important person in the world (and indeed, you are, from your perspective) you must understand that to everyone else likewise, they are the most important person in the world (from their perspective). You can either demand they respect you more than they do themselves (sacrificing all) and beat them into submission or give them the opportunity to find the best results using all their resources in the way that works best for them.

All you really have to do is to relax your expectation by applying intentional allowance and turning your expected outcome into an intention and allow the people, situations, circumstances and challenges to emerge, unfold and naturally come to fruition in as peaceful atmosphere as possible.

So, it takes a bit of effort to try to teach the old-dog part of you a new trick. The effort of altering your ideas and concepts regarding your expectations and the need to penalize any misstep (applicable not only to others, but including yourself) and intentionally allowing a general result can take some practice and time.

Stop Self Deprecating

No more beating yourself up for holding yourself to our own unrealistic expectations. Allow for your own growth in the most natural way by letting yourself expand exponentially with better results.

I’m not saying to throw it all into the wind, rather turn your goals into intentions also. Stop self deprecating (or beating yourself up) for failure. Instead, review the data and look for a better way, readjust, re-position if necessary, and keep on keeping on.

Just like anything else, think about creating your new intentional allowance as an intention. Don’t expect you to adopt this new reframe instantly without faltering. Generally intend to “get there” by practicing over time and allow yourself to do the best you can with what you have.