Thursday, April 16, 2009

The great secession

Obama Derangement Syndrome at its most extreme. It's not just Rick Perry. When you elect a black man to be President, all the crazy crackers want to secede from the Union. Apparently, a lot of them are elected officials. Georgia, Oklahoma and South Dakota are also on board. Wonder if they would be willing to take South Carolina and Alabama with them?

4 Comments:

The venerable term "Crackers," technically, refers only to Georgians, especially those with exceptionally pale skin living in boxy little houses and subsisting on dry government biscuits.

The rest are more properly referred to as "Okies" (OK), "Tarheels" or "Sh*theels" (SC), and "Sh*tkickers" (TX). Alabamans are proud to be known as just plain old "Rednecks." They're an unpretentious people, underneath those pointy-headed sheets, bless their hearts. Don't let that "Grand" Kleegle stuff fool you.

No one lives in SD any more, so you can just call them "ghosts," or "Caspers."

These distinctions, Madame Chairperson, will prove to be important as negotiations on reparations are concluded with the Mexican government during the President's visit to Mexico City.

While the "teabaggers" have been distracted with the trap cleverly laid for them in the right-wing media by the Obama people, sovereignty over the southernmost Red States has been quietly transferred to Mexico.

In return we received a lot of great fish recipes, sovereignty over all the gringo turista traps, all of Baja California, half their marijuana crop every year in perpetuity, and a baseball pitcher to be named later. Oh, and Canada offered to kick in Newfoundland, but we declined. (Obama's no fool.)Yes, I know. We SCREWED Mexico AGAIN!!!

As most Red-Staters are already living under the boot-heels of white hidalgos, they prob'ly won't even notice. Their new Mexican passports will, however, be stamped with identifying labels appropriate to their State's heritage. A "cracker" will be returned to Estado Durazno if he or she tries to cross the border into the Blue States, a "redneck' will be shipped back to sweet home El Abami, and a "sh*tkicker" will be judiciously kicked all the way back to Tejas.

It's the law. It's what we socialistas were doing while the right-tards were arguing about taxes they never pay or get back in full in Big Gummint spendin' anyway. Well, it's all over now, Baby blue, er, red. Neck. What a load off our polity!

I yield the floor to the gentlewoman from Dee-troit, and cede her my time..