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Why I will probably never attend church services again

Before leaving Colorado I decided to attend Sunday service at Springs Church, headed by Gary Wilkerson, who is the son of the famous David Wilkerson. David Wilkerson was one of the few Christian voices I truly trusted before he passed away, but I believed his son was equally as passionate and would continue giving out the red meat of the Word that I was looking for.

I have to say, I’m so incredibly disappointed in Gary Wilkerson. He’s nothing like his father at all, in fact you’d be more likely to think he was the son of Rick Warren than he is of David Wilkerson. There’s nothing about his church or method of preaching that resembles Times Square Church in New York at all. All of it seems to be influenced by the typical “seeker-sensitive” mentality that has plagued most Christian churches today.

I walked into the former auto mall that housed the church to find a few booths here and there, one offering plant sales, another offering coffee, and a few more offering signups for community outreaches and the like. At least I think they did, as I wasn’t really paying attention.

I continued inside the auditorium and sat down just as the contemporary worship music began, led by a group of teenagers basking in the ambiance of glowing lights and smoke (there may or may not have been a smoke machine.) Instead of feeling compelled to worship, I kept getting the urge to find a cigarette lighter and lift it over my head.

Rock on, Jesus!

Maybe I’m getting old, but I didn’t like the idea of following the lead of teenagers with a worshiping style that was so obviously designed to cater to their generation (while ignoring everyone else.) Ah well. With worship a bust, I sat back to pretty much observe how the rest of the service would play out.

After the loop of songs ended, a woman got on stage and started talking about community circles (an updated spin on cell groups common to large churches.) She was the “communities pastor,” and while she was talking the only thing that sprang to my mind was wondering whether her skirt was too short or her legs too long. I’m typically used to seeing more modest attire in church, so this was another disappointment.

Anyway, she says a prayer, gets off stage, and the jumbo-tron comes to life, with a bouncy looking youth pastor (yet another woman) reminding the congregation of a few events that would be taking place in the next few weeks, and don’t forget about the youth group meeting every Thursday night too! (She says, in an especially blonde sounding voice.) Apparently everyone’s a pastor here, and half of them are women. Awesome.

Finally the sermon began, and I was disappointed to see it wasn’t Gary Wilkerson giving the sermon, but some jeans sporting guy I didn’t know from Adam. Because of my hearing difficulties I could barely follow along, but what little I did hear sounded like cotton candy fluff to me. Something about beautiful stories and hidden stories and not to share every detail of your life to the world, or some such thing. It might have a been a good sermon really, to be fair, but a combination of fatigue in trying to follow what he was saying, along with the urge to get out of there finally had me tuning out before long.

After the sermon was over and the service concluded, people RAN to their own little social circles to yak it up, and I took a few minutes to continue sitting back to watch people as they clumped together into cliques, with the thought that this was all very much starting to look like high school to me.

The social barriers here were beyond silly. I wanted to consider this church (or any church I visited really) as my extended family, and within that family I would not only find true believers to fellowship with, but also eventually meet the girl I could someday call my wife. After all, it’s not like I’m gonna find a devout Christian girl sitting in a hotel bar (except possibly by divine intervention.)

The one saving grace was the men’s prayer group I attended a few days before, where it was much easier to break the ice and talk directly to others as well as making prayer requests. Sad that despite this being a church of over 1,000 members, only 3 MEN showed up for this weekly meeting. Figures.

As small as it was, their prayers on my behalf were still enough to give me the good news I was hoping for regarding a close friend of mine. It occurred to me that I’d be better off bypassing the usual Sunday services altogether, and just showing up for the smaller meetings instead, whether it was a men’s prayer group or a “communities” circle, or an outreach ministry, or whatever.

That’s probably wishful thinking though, as I rather suspect if I had stuck around on a regular basis, I’d be banging heads before long, questioning the structure of the church, the hierarchy, the endless splintering of small community circles that I think actually hurts the church body more than helps it, the improper exegesis of Scripture, the corporate worship style that shamelessly panders to the youth, the fact that women should not be taking on pastoral titles or most other leadership roles, and on and on. There are elements about modern churches today that have become so predictable in tone and format that any Christian today who watches this parody is probably going to understand exactly why it’s so hilarious (and sad at the same time.)

I can’t be a part of that, and if I tried, I would still feel the disconnect, the ovewhelming sense that I don’t really belong. For now, the wilderness will continue to be my home.

Update: I tried to give this church a few more tries since then. At my last encounter with their men’s prayer group, I conveyed my concerns with one of the pastors of the church, and he said every church has its culture, and wished me good luck in finding one with a culture that was more palatable for me. That comment angered me so much: I thought Jesus was supposed to be our culture? This idolatrous emphasis on culture rather than God is precisely what perpetuates all this segregation and cliques in churches today, making it impossible for people of diverse backgrounds to all be ONE in Christ. His whole thinking was wrong, and I could see he was saying in Christian-ese Speak not to bother coming back again. What a shame.

60 Comments on “Why I will probably never attend church services again”

Sure there are a lot of churches that have had their candlestick removed, and the Bible also talks about the falling away. However, a believer taking himself out of fellowship with other believers is going to suffer.

There are good churches out there, you’ll just have to shop around. They’re usually small and have a very small number of young, single people, but the doctrine is sound.

Itchy: I don’t really know if I was taking myself out or pulled out. Excluding denominations that don’t fit my beliefs, I did a cursory look at say, Missionary Alliance churches where their creed is similar enough to my own, and couldn’t even find a local one where ENGLISH was the predominant language spoken. It’s almost worse than trying to find a good wife.

In this instance it appeared that the title “pastor” was being used for positions that might be more administrative than executive, but even then, it was clear the women were being granted far too much influence and control on how the church was run. The Bible left us such strict and obvious instructions on what roles women could play in serving the church, that it’s hard to believe that so many just choose to ignore it at their peril.

I refuse to subject myself under the leadership of a novice or false shepherd, much less one who is a woman, so I’m staying right here in my cozy wilderness. HHG himself may soon have to come to the ultimatum of either directly confronting an apostate church, or joining the wilderness himself. To be honest, It’s not so bad out here. We have cookies too!

Frank,
As one who has been going to the springs church (TSC) for 3-1/2 years. I would like to make a few comments. As far as I can remember, the women pastors are wives of “real” Pastors. Women do not teach from the pulpit at TSC. As far as the lighters go, I’ve never seen that in the years I’ve been going, but I tend to sit near the front (where it’s louder), so I just might not see it. I have gone to church where all the pastors wear suits, and have heard a lot of bad doctrine. I have been at T-shirt wearing churches where there is bad doctrine. Good or Bad doctrine is not related to dress.
I hope you can hear Gary sometime. He is the first pastor that I have ever heard preach the uncompromised gospel of Jesus Christ from the pulpit. I would love to hear more of what you have to say, feel free to email me and talk more in depth

Hi Dan, thanks for commenting. If by lighters you mean cigarette lighters, I didn’t say that happened, but that the style of worship evokes that sort of thing because it’s akin to attending a rock concert rather than engaging in corporate worship. I find this to be catering to the youth instead of adhering to a worship style more pleasing to God. Secondly, the wives of pastors should not be given the titles of pastors themselves, if that’s what they’re doing. I think it dilutes the title and confuses things, as a pastoral position is a leadership title and not a role women can biblically assume. I don’t mind the dress code, but in this case I saw a few women dress inappropriately, which can be cause for distraction when we’re supposed to be focusing on the Lord. I do think it’s ok to keep it casual, but keep it modest as well.

I also think the church is too big, and that’s part and parcel what seems to ail most churches today. I believe the rule of thumb is, if the head pastor is having trouble remembering who all the members of the congregation are, it’s gotten too big. (Would a shepherd not know who all the members of his flock are?) Typically that would mean the church should not have more than say, 200 people, at which point a sister church should be built with the same number, instead of fragmenting everything into little cliques, which destroys the unity of the body of Christ and turns it into a high school-like caste system.

Having said that, I agree about Gary Wilkerson. He is more like his father than Carter Conlon is, and his messages are similar to David Wilkerson’s sermons in that regard. If he had been the one preaching I would have come away more edified, instead it was a younger pastor preaching a fluff message, completely at odds of what I’ve come to expect of a typical message from a Times Square Church Pulpit sermon that David Wilkerson was so powerful in delivering. I mean really, what am I, 14 years old? Give me some MEAT here.

If you still want to continue this dialogue, let me know and I’ll shoot you an email.

I agree with much of what you said. I love TSC, but it is not perfect. I have minor issues with a few things, but the vision and general leadership is great. I think there is a place for the large assembly, but agree the small is critical. The House churches are where much of the close church stuff is occurring (prayer, accountability, discussion, etc). If you’re still in Colorado springs, feel free to visit Home Church #4 (see the TSC website). Also, for context, I am in my 50’s, married and a software engineer. Would be glad to carry on the conversation, and encouragement.

“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” 1 Timothy 2:11-12

How God inspired can these women be if they refuse to obey Scripture? Carolyn Custis James is just another in a long ling of anti-male bigoted feminists who are narcissistic enough to believe they know how men OUGHT to be behave and act, and do their best to twist and selectively choose verses in the Bible to support their anti-patriarchal bigotry. Grow up.

When my mate and i were church cruising, we would often arrive well into the service.

Punctuality is passe. Arriving late always got more interest. Plus, at churches where they sang an extended set, it meant we werent singing the same song 39 times, in order to emote to a sufficient level.

So when do the ‘pastors’ start asking where all the good christians went?

As for me, I’ve got a list of local churches I’ve crossed off my list, either because of apostasy or politics. I’m on sabatical for the time being, and likely won’t be attending until I have a different pool of churches to attend.

I have an idea about how to use this to my advantage, not sure how much of it is just my wishful thinking or if I’m really on to what may be a worthwhile endeavor. (stay tuned for a future post on the subject)

This is what happens when you remove a holy presence from a church. It no longer is a church and is instead, a social center. Not that having a social center in a church is a bad thing, but there’s a social center and then there is the Eucharistic Celebration. I for one, can’t stand it when people act like Mass is a concert and they start clapping during the songs. I think the idea behind contemporary services is to appeal to the younger people to make church more “interesting” to them. It is too bad, because going to church isn’t about placating our feelings. Welcome to Churchianity!

I think the concern with numbers arose when churches started to realize people were following the ways of the world and left the church. In turn, churches changed to suit their people when it should be the other way around.

I’ve attended a church service like that before. At first glance, I thought I inadvertently stumbled into a Jars of Clay concert but it was a CHURCH service. There was a band, flashing colorful lights, and a powerpoint with images in the background. I didn’t even know how to respond.

Being born and raised in Golden/Evergreen Colorado, this post makes me sad. I moved away after college, and only gained what scant ‘wisdom’ I have in life in the last year. That being said…. I can’t remember any lessons taught to me that really deny what is going on in society from a church called Rockland Community Church. If you go back to Colorado, I’d recommend it.

Actually did that last time, although a bit of hiking gear would have made it more pleasant. I did accomplish scurrying halfway up a mountain and uncovering an ancient mine belonging to one of my Facebook friend’s descendant. I need to make a point of skiing next time.

I feel exactly as you wrote and my small group experience has been such an eye-rolling experience that I’ve now given up finding one. Although as one person stated, we suffer without the fellowship. I personally decided to only show up at the “entertainment” events and do self-study on my own. That’s what they use/do to attract people – I might as well enjoy it.

Anonymous, the irony was that my small group experience was exactly what I was looking for, in this case the men’s prayer group. Unfortunately, this is a church of well over 1,000 members, and yet only THREE people showed up for this meeting to pray. it was still enough though as I asked them to pray for a good friend of mine, and the prayers were answered. (where two or three are gathered in My name…)

Still, it’s disconcerting to walk into a large church and literally can only count on one hand the number who are taking the Christian life seriously.

Judging hearts is a very, very slippery slope, my friend. If God is big enough to create the amazing vastness of the cosmos down to the minute details of quantum physics, I’m sure he can reach people regardless of worship/sermon/service style. I’m also sure he’s far more distressed about your hard heart than he is about a woman declaring his name publically. Praying that he can imprint his perfect love onto your (and everyone’s) heart.

You are clearly missing the point. This is not about judging hearts, this is about setting up a church hierarchy that is unbiblical and antithetical to fomenting a cohesive body in Christ. Save the new age love talk and “heart imprints” for Oprah.

No, friend, I think you are missing the point. You – are – judging hearts, even if you can’t yet admit it. If I’m going to be ridiculed for talking about love, I consider myself in good company, because Jesus made a reputation of loving the unlovable. And forming “a body in Christ” is really about BEING the Body of Christ, which is more about believing in him than about hierarchy. So who cares about how exactly it looks? C’mon man. Wouldn’t you be better off spreading God’s love where you see fit than wasting your time fighting against the megachurch machine? Do you really think that’s how your energy is best spent?

You could also find a wife in an existing church, then pray about working with other like minded men to create your own home-based church fellowship. As long as you believe that is God’s direction for you and the other men you are friends with, and agree to the same set of biblical doctrine, purpose, and division of roles and responsibilities, then you can bypass all the local weak churches and have your own fellowship and do things your way.

It may be worth considering and praying about one day, even if not anytime soon.

It is not the only church like that or even the worst, but it is written right? Revelation 2, every church has its own issue but not even Jesus leaves them alone.
Do not give up and just agree to leave every church service because you attended two or three or ten that seemed to be wrong.
I attended to a church like this for two years, when I was there Jesus found me and later, I realized what was happening with all the “cheer up” preaching and some other stuff. I felt so sad. Took me lots of prayings, but at the end I left. Now I am in a whole different church and it is missing some things too, like everything right?
God’s mercy is limitless and He moves wherever and whenever he pleases.
I hope you find a good church soon and I hope you keep trying to find it.

Thanks Diane, I’m persuaded that church fellowship is fulfilled even where there are only 2 or 3 gathered together. (Where two or three are gathered together in My name, there I am in the midst of them)

And if you truly believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, there is no such thing as being unchurched.

Your conclusions regarding your observations of the Springs Church are not correct. It’s not possible to rightly discern people’s motivations and or Christ-centeredness by grouching about women making announcements or leading the youth group, or your personal taste in musical style. You likely missed your best opportunity to connect with singles and others who are sincere and love God. It’s a place where you could make a home, find friends, worship the Lord, and worship through the study and exposition of the Scriptures.

I’ve known Gary Wilkerson since he was practically a kid, and watched him mature into a great man of God and answer the call on his life. He has never emulated his father, but let the Holy Spirit lead him into that which He has for him–perhaps a kinder, gentler approach to lifting up Jesus.

The Springs Church, World Challenge, and their wonderful people are greatly esteemed by the evangelical community and I highly recommend them to all. Don’t fret over musical style (its been changing for 2,000 years, and it will continue to evolve), gals leading youth groups, people visiting with their friends and families after worship. Go with an open heart to worship God, study the scriptures, and give of yourself to the family of Christ.

God loves even a perennial cynic. Bless you and hope to see you in church!!!

I’m not welcome at this church, that much was made clear when I attended a prayer meeting and was told that the Springs Church caters to a certain culture, and since I’m not a part of that culture I was encouraged to find another church that might be more suitable for me. I won’t go where I’m not wanted.

And really, culture? I thought our culture was supposed to be Jesus. This pandering and catering to subcultures at the exclusion of others divides the church further and creates even more cliques, so if you think my gripe here was only about music then you completely missed the point. I found very little distinction between Wilkerson’s church and the megachurches like New Life Church, which have completely watered down the gospel and turned church into a social circus.

We’re supposed to be all one in Christ, but that’s impossible if the church is given to favoring particular demographics over others. That was never the vibe I got from David Wilkerson when he pastored his church, and it’s a shame that his son has evidently taken the same contemporary path others have taken in forming churches that are apostate and a part of the great falling away.

If we are disappointed in the church….maybe we are going for the people and not God. Pastors Gary and Michael are passionate disciples of Jesus. They dare to speak what God puts on their hearts, through His word and spirit. Before we attend churches with the same mindset of a food critic visiting a restaurant, we must find ourselves, on our knees at the cross. Connecting first with the Redeemer of our souls…and then returning there often, so we don’t forget where our lives begin and end. Church is where we bring that cross experience, to share with others, in prayer, encouragement, to become part of something….and together to Worship, offer all we are, as His body…to God.

Should there be a word or message or practice that isn’t clearly inline with what God has said, the first phone call, email or text should be respectfully referred to the Pastor….with an open heart and ears to hear the answers to our concern.

This is a nonsensical and vapid platitude that fails to address the problem.

We’re supposed to test the spirits and contend for the faith. If a church is not adhering to biblical principles rather than make excuses they should be called out on it.

“God Bless Pastors who dare to teach truth rather than tickle ears.”

Are we even talking about the same people? Gary’s church is about as polar opposite as his father’s old church as you can get. It is all about pandering to the youths, using watered down Bibles and a watered down message lest we should offend people and lose out on their donations. That’s speaking truth? Please. Put down the kool-aid already.

This was so refreshing to read. I have spent the last 10 yrs visiting churches in my area and feel so lost as to how we are going to reach the lost. I am really uncomfortable with women praying over services nd having the “Pastor” Title. One church actually ask my husband and I not to return because we were genderphobic. Can’t we just have church without all the drama?? I want people who love God and want to see soul converted. I want to be preached to so my heart can be transformed weekly. I want to worship and praise God with a happy heart, not dancing and instruments loud I can’t hear voices. I will continue to seek a home and know the Lord if faithful.

I hope you find a place too! I have a friend with more lax standards when it comes to church and even he is having trouble. He just bounces around from church to church every week and does it more so his kids are not isolated, and can be exposed to making friends with people who are at least marginally better than what you see in the world.