Monday, August 31, 2009

I love shoe shopping! I love going into DSW with my wallet in my back pocket, hands free to browse through isles of shoes that always fit and say 'hello! don't you look pretty today! Try me on and take me for a walk!' I have a good friend who also shares my fascination with shoes who last week, introduced me to her 'Shoe Husband' at Nordstrom Valley Fair. I have to admit...I do not frequent Nordstroms very often so this was a little off the beaten path for me.

We arrived I immediately became consumed by the beautiful displays of paired friends all beckoning me to take them for a walk. I met the 'Shoe Husband' and oh my what a husband he is! Completely honest about how things looked...suggested some fantastic alternates to less desirable options and told me everything I wanted to hear... LOL just kidding! I was walking around a display when my eyes fell upon a pair of burgundy 4 inch peep-toe cheetah pumps with a sexy corset lace-up the side. I had died! Definitely not was I was shopping for but they were calling my name! I requested my size, tried them on and holy hot cheetahness these were going home with me. I was walking around the store with them on when I decided to text a friend for a fourth opinion since my friend and her 'husband' were both in agreement. I asked my friend to take a picture with my camera and as I was bending over to raise my pant leg I felt like I had to say something...

I've learned that sometimes I need to keep my mouth shut! This time I didn't! I said to my friends 'let's send it to... and see if I cause a... (what I meant to say here was REACTION!) but as I started to say reaction I felt my lips forming another word similar in syllables. And when this similar word came out of my mouth...I even studdered because I was trying to stop it. What did I say you ask?

"lets see if I cause an er-erection..." LMAO! My friend and her shoe husband both looked at me like WTH!!! Did you just say erection in the middle of Nordstrom? I fell over laughing so hard but before I did, I looked over at these two ladies who were shopping near by and they were both looking at me me dropped jaws! I definitive received some sideways glances!

Nevertheless, the shoes came home with me and my and my Fergie's went out dancing that Friday night... Gave the song 'tonight's gonna be a good night' a while new meaning!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I have to admit from an early age I was a boy crazy girl...to the point where friends and family couldn't keep them straight. As a result, boys worth taking about inevitably acquired a nickname. Here are the top five...

The first Boy...I was about 10 at the time. The neighborhood I grew up in had a good number of kids my age. One of which was Mormon to and he and I were best friends. He was my first love. I remember one rainy afternoon playing at his grandmothers house with him and his girl cousin who is my age. She knew of my love for him and thought it would be a great idea to write him a letter as 'Cupid' and throw it out side for him to find when he left. She wrote the letter...sealed it with a kiss and threw it out side... He found it, read it, and then called me his sister. He however, WAS my first kiss. We were swimming in his pool and our other friend was about to dive off the diving board and I called him over. I had been plotting ALL day how I was going to do it. When he swam over, I kissed him on the cheak...he kissed me back quickly and I said... 'thank you' LOL From then on...he will forever be known as Pool Boy. He has since married a wonderful woman and right now they have two children.

Next is actually a friend of Pool Boy. This guy is not Mormon but a totally awesome guy. This boy came from a pretty affluent family and another country and is pretty dang good looking. He would always take me out (every three months)for a really nice dinner and either play games or ..... go for a drive. This drive always ended with a small NCMO session. (For those of you not up to speed on what NCMO is...it's a noncommittal make out.) He and I got along really well but it never really went anywhere... I actually don't know where this guy is now days but I'm sure he's doing well. His nickname... NCMO Boy. ('Nickmo' Boy)

Number three I meet in the singles ward almost 10 years ago. He and I NEVER really talked in person... at most it was a head nod and a 'what's up'? We would chat online all the time about random stuff. Church, girls, guys, music, sports blah blah blah etc. One night we ended up hanging out and long story short.. we kissed. HOLY COW...such a good kisser! Better than someone I was in a pretty serious relationship with for a year. We continued to talk after that evening but we never kissed again . So sad! Number three is...One night boy.

Number four is yet another shmuck I met in the singles ward. We were all hanging out at the 'boys house' on a sunday night when I first met him. He had just moved to the area for work as he was working for a pharmaceutical company as a chemist. Pretty good looking guy... we had some things in common. A while later, we ended up going on a double date with a friend of mine and her boy friend. That night he laid on some thick moves. I had a couple issues with this guy. Unfortunately, this story doesn't reflect very well on me. One issue... I think he was shorter than I. No real big deal.. Two, he had HORRIBLE shoes. Let me describe these shoes to you. First he had small feet. He would always wear either flip flops which are fine or he would wear these black tennis shoes. It was the tennis shoes I couldn't handle and were a COMPLETE turn off! It still makes me embarrassed. So you remember the black top high nike's with no design and Velcro on them? Well they were a cross between those and shoes that special ed kids wear who couldn't tie their shoes. I feel as though the shoes you wear are a symbol of how you carry yourself and while these shoes were practical and probably had GREAT arch support there are a ton a shoe styles out there now that you don't have to resurrect 80's has beens! Number four is known as Shoe boy.

Save the best for last! Number five was a real treat! I meet this one at SJSU in a health fitness class. By far this guy was the most physically fit guy I have ever been out with. Pretty good looking. One day after class he started talking to me and asked me out. I was a little surprised because guys like him usually aren't my speed... But I went and boy was it a treat.. more like an eye opening experience. He came and picked my up and took me to Maggiano's. We sat at the bar for dinner because the wait for a table was an hour long. During dinner he had to use the restroom and when he got up to go he made me promise I wouldn't leave while he was gone.... I thought odd... That should have been my first warning that something was ... different about this guy. The rest of dinner was filled with awkward conversation. He would ask me the same question over and over and act like he heard if for the first time. When we were about to leave, he went to use the bathroom again. As he got up he once again asked me not to leave while he was gone... LOL Well he wanted to go back to his place after and watch a movie. OK...whatever. We get there and he invites me to sit down and then goes to the bathroom. I'm sitting there all by my self and I hear the shower turn on.... I thought to myself...is he taking a shower... WHY? He comes out 5 minutes later in a different set of clothing and he's all dewy. We watch the movie and by this time, I'm ready to go home. I tell him it's time to take me home and he excuses himself to the bathroom again. At which point, I hear the shower turn on AGAIN. I'm a by myself for another 5 mintues and when he emerges from the bathroom, he has on yet another outfit and has obviously showered AGAIN! He takes me home and walks me to the door and goes in for a kiss. HECK NO! Turned my head and let him kiss me on the cheek. I felt his hands and they were like sand paper. Obviously this guy is OCD. Luckily it was the end of the semester so I didn't have to talk to him much after that date. Number five my friends is Shower Boy.

I've learned alot from these guys...

1.) When you like a guy and he says...you're like my sister... never a good thing and that will never change.... Change him to brother status right away.

2.) NCMO sessions are fun in the moment but long term...not so much.. Substance is always better!

3.) Sometimes you have a serendipitous moment with an individual you have great chemistry with...cherish those moments...they are precious. His wife is the luckiest woman in the world!

4.)Watch out for guys with jankie shoes... they don't know what they are doing or what they want... they also short waiters on tips! Guys...always over tip when you're on a date!

5.) If you think it's too good to be true... it probably is. No one can be that hot and be normal.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I first need to mention that I am so grateful for my family and their good intentions. Like many other single ladies out there, I'm sure I'm not alone by saying, it drives me crazy when relatives HAVE to introduce you to the only other single man in the same room with you and think (Clap like Mama Klump) "you two are perfect for each other...you should date and get married."

I had the privileged..nay the pleasure to enjoy such a introduction at my cousins wedding that I mentioned in my previous blog. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we marry in the temple. This is the scene of the following 'Awkward Introduction'.

As a family, minus my father and sister, we were all in the temple and what a glorious reunion it was. I hadn't seen some of these cousins in upwards of 10 years. I was sitting in-between my mother and my aunt at one point and my aunt leans over to me and says, 'he's cute... I wonder if he's single.' (Bear in mind again, I am the oldest girl out of 18 cousins and I haven't graduated to the married club so everyone HAS to help out!) I leaned over and said,"yes, I've already checked him out...cute and not married...not really my type."

Let me describe this guy.... H-O-T but completely full of himself...probably early 20's and should I say again... completely full of himself. NOT INTERESTED IN GUYS THAT LIKE TO ADMIRE THEMSELVES in the mirror and primp!

Anyway... we get in the Celestial room (check out lds.org if you have questions) and my grandfather bless his by-passed heart comes up to me and says it's so nice to be here with you...hopefully next time it will be for you.... *SIGH*

Later I'm chatting with my cousins when my Step-grandmother comes over to say hello....so I thought... She doesn't say hello doesn't say a word to me at all but grabs me by the wrist and pulls me to the other side of the room in front of Mr. H-O-T and says, "this is my grand daughter...she's young and single....you're young and single...you two should talk!"

Still being held captive by my step-grandmothers hand I shot her a look of what the HECK are you doing???? I look at Mr. H-O-T while being five shades of red and he was stone cold. No expression on his face. No smile acknowledging the awkward situation, no laugh to ease the tension...but a stone cold stare like who are you....

My step-grandmother FINALLY figures out that she just created a very awkward situation clues in and starts to back peddle... "oh my! I wasn't trying to... I mean... you two are both young and here at a wedding single...by your selves and I thought you...I wasn't trying to... Oh my!" (She's still gripping my wrist. Hellooooo! Let me gooooo! I want to curl up in a hole and die!)

She finally stops talking and I decide to make the best of the situation and formally introduce myself... Hi! I'm me...I'm cousins of the bride...nice to meet you..." This would be a natural pause where he could of introduced himself... but NO.... He just sat there and starred. At this point my embarrasment turned to irritation with Mr. H-O-T... I said to him, "and you are???" "I'm (a dusch)" That's it... that's all he said untill he finally decided to say more and what did he say???? "Wow this is awkward!"

DONE! I politely walked away after saying nice to meet you and didn't talk to him the rest of the weekend.

Two things!

1.) If you are a married individual....two single people are not automatically compatible just because they are single... Remember when you were single... I know it was a long time ago...but try and remember what it was like dating... There's more to it than just being single too...

2.) If you find yourself in this situation, no matter what side of the coin...BE NICE! Even if you are not attracted to the other person he/she could have a friend that is your 'speed'.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I was at the movies last night and they were showing the preview for "Amelia" (looks like a must see) and the character Amelia (Hillary Swank) said something that stuck a chord with me... "I'm a flier pursuing my passion for the fun of it." What would you replace the word 'flier' with?

By culture standards I am a 'menace to society'! I'm a 30 year old SWF, practicing Mormon, college graduate of a local state college with a degree in Public Relations and currently work for a birth control company as their events specialist. (Odd combination I know...)

Growing up Mormon I had dreams of getting married and starting a family all by the time I was in my mid 20s. Well that didn't happen. Instead, I'm a college grad, making OK money (at least I'm employed), traveling and logging (...now blogging) some great adventures.

This blog is all about the happenings of a 30-year-old just trying to have fun in life. As things happen, I plan on updating this page. I hope you read along and at least laugh with me as I navigate through this thing we call life!

About Me

Ever wonder what it's like to be a single 30-year-old Mormon woman (who works for a birth control company)in a family where nearly all her younger cousins are married with one or two children already? What on earth could this 30 year-old possibly be contributing to society of any value?.... QUITE A LOT!
Recently I have realized that I find myself in some pretty entertaining situations that really should be documented. I'm sure many can relate! This is just my story.
- Girl With The Green Eyes::