The Top 10 Things Obama May Have Been Doing While Mitt May Have Been Being A Jerk In High School

There’s a dodgy story out that claims Mitt Romney was a bully who was part of a group of meatheads who held down a gay kid named John Lauber and cut his hair. On the one hand, this 52 year old story (Yes, really) is extremely dodgy. Five people who “mostly lean Democrat”, including one who volunteered for Barack Obama’s campaign, are telling the tale. Additionally, the guy who was supposedly bullied is dead, his sister said she never knew anything about this, and noted “The family of John Lauber is releasing a statement saying the portrayal of John is factually incorrect and we are aggrieved that he would be used to further a political agenda. There will be no more comments from the family.” That being said, while Romney said he had no idea Lauber was gay, which is probably the case given that it was 50 years ago, he didn’t flat out deny the story which is an indication that there must be at least some truth to it.

Still, it’s ironic that this has come up because Barack Obama has the strangest, most disreputable early life of any President in our history by far. So, if this is relevant, let’s talk about Barack Obama’s early years and what he was doing. If you went back to Obama’s early years, you might have run across Obama…

Are any of these things as important as Obama decimating the economy, costing millions of Americans jobs, driving up gas prices, ending the manned space program, losing America’s AAA rating, and threatening our country’s future with his out-of-control spending? No, not at all. But, if we’re going to deal in trivia, Obama’s bizarre early years are worse than anything Mitt was ever involved in.