fortunately there were 2 survivors, unfortunately they were both horses
If we were friends back then I'd be hanging out with a baby, I don't know anything about infant care, god I could have hurt her
what's our team name? are we the lightning?
You don't work for me, and I never will sir good day

I think Andy might be my overall favorite. I love me some Ron Swanson/Duke Silver, but Andy seriously cracks me up every time he's on-screen.

Resident: I represent the ultimate Frisbee league and-
Andy: Pawnee has an ultimate league?
Resident: Yes, and we keep running into conflicts with the-
Andy: You won me over. I will join your team.
Resident: Um, I'm sorry. What we need-
Andy: When does practice start? And do you provide the jerseys? What color are the jerseys by the way? What's our team name? Are we the lightning

plus the thing about April being a baby when he was in 3rd grade killed me