Fucking Steak And How To Cook It

Awww,
the New York Times thinks it has “a rock-solid new
system” for cooking steak at home. That’s so cute! Adorable! I
am both tickled and amused by this delightful attempt at disrupting
the cooking-steak-at-home space. It’s just so sweet! Also LISTEN UP
NEW YORK TIMES DINING READERS, NEW YORK TIMES
DINING WRITERS AND ANYONE ELSE WITHIN THE SOUND OF MY VOICE:
This is how you cook a fucking steak. There is no other
way, and there will be no further discussion or appeals on the
matter. Do not make me address this issue again. I will not be
anywhere near as pleasant next time.#