In a development whose importance it would be difficult to exaggerate, scientists have produced research answering one of the great questions facing humanity in the 21st century: what happens if you get snails hopped up on crystal meth and poke them with sticks?
The drug-pushing scientists in question are Barbara Sorg of …

Why, Yes I do.

Wow...

Wow, really? *Really*? You're really upset that some scientists poked at some snails in a tub of water?

I'm not advocating animal cruelty, but to paraphrase Denis Leary "If hooking up a monkey's brain to a car battery is going to help cure cancer, I've only got one thing to say: The red one's positive and the black one's negative."

Economy??

Aw, how cute.

The idea that what you discover will always be what you're researching. He thinks science works that way.

Especially amusing when you consider that radiation therapy, which is used to cure some cancers, was made possible because of some guy in Scotland was trying to recreate pretty rainbows on clouds, something even more loony than snails on drugs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Nevis#Observatory

While snails on drugs might be more likely to lead to a cure for Alzheimer's, it's also possible that they're on the path to curing cancer, and not even aware of it.

@ Blain Hamon

Excellent point! And that's what hundreds of years of the history of science teaches us (where's James Burke when you need him?!?) that seemingly unrelated research and discoveries lead the to some of the most amazing advances in medicine, technology, physics, etc. They don't test on humans because most people would get REALLY freaked out it. Instead, they test on snails, rats, fruit flies, and other assorted species because only PETA and other wackos (i.e. ALF) get upset about that.

Medical science would not exist except for the decades of animal testing that has contributed to the quality of life we all now enjoy.

I just want to see

The way science works

To cure cancer, the best way isn't to focus all research on cancer alone. You also research any stupid thing that catches your fancy. Because, historically, that sort of research can and does sometimes lead to major breakthroughs in unrelated fields. What if understanding the mechanism through which meth affects memory could lead to new drugs for Alzheimer's? Still think the poor dudes should have their funding cut?

Barbara Sorg and Ken Lukowiak

Oh, I forgot about those . . .

There are a number of people residing at her majesty's pleasure or on the sex offender's register who would love it if their hardware worked a bit more like pesky molluscan wetware and forgot about those embarrassing files.

The way back machine is not always a good idea.

If you remember the initial work on memory in simple beasties was done on planaria, which are flatworms. We learned that memory is chemical by grinding up learned worms and feeding them to other worms who got them some of that learnin'. Snails are a cut above flatworms in the neural dept (kin to those brainy cephalopods after all) so you can do more sophisticated experiments with them.