Category Archives: Widely recognized treatment for OCD

Thanks to OCD, is your mind stuck like glue? Do you have a thought or two, or three or more that haunt you? Have you figured out how to break free from OCD?

It’s not fun to have a sticky mind. Many people with OCD will do whatever compulsion it takes to try and get unstuck. But the release from the stickiness is only temporary.

What’s the best way to handle unwanted intrusive thoughts?

To begin with, calling them unwanted and intrusive is the first mistake. Think about the message this gives the Fear Center in your brain. You’re telling your brain to be on alert because this thought means something bad is about to go down.

It’s better to call these difficult thought patterns “wanted” and “appreciated.” I know that sounds ludicrous but that’s how you beat OCD. It’s mental Kung Fu–a unique style of combat fought in the mind.

Want the thoughts and the Fear Center feels no threat. Appreciate the thoughts and you develop a growth mindset–an opportunity to use the thoughts to practice your skills.

Break Free From OCD by Using Mental Kung Fu

What is mental Kung Fu? It means accepting a thought with minimal resistance and yet getting maximum effect.

This is how to use mental Kung Fu:

Fetch it. Bring the thought in. Summon the thought. “I’m going to trigger the thought on purpose as often as I can.”

Pull it in. Take hold of the thought with a force like you are twisting its arm. “I’m going to exaggerate this thought to make it even worse.”

Detain it. Keep it from leaving. “Hey, where do you think you’re going? Oh no, you don’t. You stay right here.”

As you can see, “I hope I think like this all day long” received the most votes. Good! That goes along with DETAINING the thought. “Good there’s my thought. I want it to last.” It’s not easy to say that about an OCD thought but it’s how to play mental Kung Fu.

The answer that received the second highest number of votes, “I have no idea and never will” is another example of DETAINING the thought. You are prepared to live your life with this thought for the rest of your life.

Thankfully, the answer with zero votes was, “Stay positive there’s an answer to this.” Trying to get to the bottom of an obsession is pointless. OCD cannot be satisfied for very long at all. Just when you think you’ve removed all doubt, another tantalizing question arises.

The fact that “there’s an answer to this” received ZERO votes shows the readers of this blog are well-informed of WHAT NOT TO DO. People with OCD know that trying to get to the bottom of a “what-if” question or trying to get clarity on a “what to do next” decision only leads down the rabbit hole.

Inside the rabbit hole is more confusion than can be imagined. A person with OCD has spent a lot of time in a rabbit hole so they know they don’t want to go down one. So the plan is to accept uncertainty and to NOT seek out answers or try to get relief from all the doubt.

But Wait!!!!!!! Zero votes, and yet seeking answers is the technique most frequently employed by people with OCD. The plan is to NOT SEEK ANSWERS but the feeling of discomfort interferes with that plan.

Mental Kung Fu is sticking with the plan and not letting feelings interfere. No matter how terrible it feels stick with the plan: Fetch it, pull it in and detain it.

It’s also not very effective to label a thought as “just OCD.” Upon first being diagnosed it’s part of the educational process to label thoughts as OCD or part of the doubting disease. But eventually (the sooner the better) it’s crucial to stop labeling thoughts as “just OCD.”

Relabeling your thoughts as “just OCD” won’t work for very long because it doesn’t FEEL like OCD. It feels real.

The response, “I am inadequate and so what” is a good way to shrug off OCD. What is there to be anxious about if you don’t care? Except, having harmful thoughts can be hard to shrug off. It can be done but for some people, if the thought is so abhorrent it’s hard to say “so what” and mean it!

The response “Yup, I might never think normal” is certainly showing a strong, radical force of acceptance. It’s the complete opposite of trying to wriggle your way out of a thought. But, for many people, radical acceptance is a hard line to walk without becoming self-loathing or despondent.

To PULL IT IN means to agree wholeheartedly with OCD by exaggerating. “My teeth are so large I’m going to trip over them one of these days.” That’s an outstanding way to shrug off OCD! If you have a creative imagination and a dry sense of humor, this approach will be right up your alley.

Break Free From OCD by Using Mental Kung Fu

FETCHING the thought is Mental Kung Fu at its finest. It is an impressive way to employ minimal resistance to get maximum effect. For example, if you obsess that your teeth are too large then go fetch a costume pair of very large teeth and wear them in public. Take that OCD!!!

FETCH, PULL IT IN and DETAIN OCD! This is known as Exposure & Response Prevention, widely known as the most effective way to break free form OCD. Confront your fears and do nothing to relieve the anxiety caused by the trigger.

Is It OCD?

How do you know if you have OCD? Many people call upon me for my help because of their online research. They Googled their symptoms and discovered they sound a lot like someone with OCD. They’ve never been officially diagnosed, and when they find out there’s a name for what is going on in their mind, they are relieved and curious about treatment.

People Who Are Misdiagnosed

Then there are the people who have been misdiagnosed. They Googled their symptoms and thought they sounded like someone with OCD. Indeed, they do have OCD but are told they don’t. The doctor claims it’s not OCD because you “don’t excessively wash your hands.” ~or~ “That’s not OCD, because, everybody does that.” ~or~ “Everybody has a little OCD.” ~or~ “You’re not organized and tidy enough to have OCD.”

I apologize on behalf of all these practitioners. Just when I think the word is getting out and doctors and therapists are becoming more aware, I meet someone who has been suffering a long time because they’ve been in psychoanalysis forever. We have to keep educating, especially through OCD Awareness Week and showing films like Unstuck.

People Who Aren’t Certain It’s OCD

Then there are people who have been diagnosed with OCD by other practitioners, but this fact is not shared with me. The only reason they are seeking a meeting with me is for reassurance. “Maybe I didn’t tell the practitioner everything they needed to know to make the right diagnosis.”

They’ve been properly diagnosed with OCD. But, they need to keep hearing it. Similar to those who keep getting tested for HIV. The lab report is negative but they get tested repeatedly. I don’t usually see these people again because they aren’t seeking treatment. Just reassurance.

Authors of books on OCD often get contacted for this same reason. Even my own clients will ask me, “Are you sure this isn’t something else? How do you know it’s OCD.” This is reassurance-seeking and so all I can do is shrug and say, “Maybe you don’t have OCD.”

What I really want to say to them is this:

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck…then…it probably is a duck!!!!!!!

It’s better not to try and get certainty. Worrying whether you have OCD is just another obsession. The way to handle any obsession is to respond with, “Maybe, maybe not. Time will tell.” Then move on. Live your life.

A life of certainty is a life not lived.

For those who cannot access the necessary services to get an official diagnosis, don’t spend all your time Googling trying to get to the bottom of it. You might end up in a rabbit hole.

How do you know if you have OCD?

If it’s important to you, then you probably won’t be able to know. OCD makes you doubt whatever is precious and sacred to you. But here are a couple of good ways to understand more about your symptoms:

Complete the most widely used screening tool for OCD, the YBOCSand bring the results to your practitioner who hasn’t yet realized you have OCD. Ask your practitioner or insurance company for a referral to a CBT therapist who uses Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) as part of the treatment plan.

For those with no help or support, I also recommend a Facebook Group called “Friends with OCD.” Fortunately, there are people with OCD in this group that will lead you in the right direction. Don’t use this group for reassurance. Use it for education and support.

There’s More to Being Compulsion-Free Than Just Stopping

I’ll be done soon…

Have you ever been in the middle of a compulsion and someone said: “Just knock it off!” And you replied, “If it was that easy don’t you think I would just stop?” The best advice on how to resist compulsions doesn’t include to, “just knock it off.”

Very, very few people with OCD can go cold turkey and “just knock it off.” So many times people have said to me, “I’m just going to stop all of it. Right now. No more compulsions.” They mean it with all their heart. And then they walk to their car performing compulsions.

Going Cold Turkey Has Little to Do With Staying Compulsion-Free

If you want to know what it feels like to just knock it off and go cold turkey, it’s like dumping all kinds of poison in a sess pool and sitting in it. Taking your hands and putting the slop all over your face and body. Breathing it in and doing nothing to save yourself.

If you sat there long enough, believe it or not, you’d become desensitized. But, just like any kind of sobriety, the urge will return. You’ll still want to perform a compulsion.

There’s more to being compulsion-free than just stopping.

The Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions

Put an end to your compulsions by applying these seven principles:

It’s “whatever” therapy! Talk to your OCD in a nonargumentative manner. “Yup, maybe that will happen. Time will tell.” Don’t reassure OCD. Instead, shrug and say “This could be unpleasant. I’ll just have to find out.” It’s all about the “whatever.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If you can trick your brain into thinking you’re smiling with a pen sideways in your mouth, you can trick your brain into thinking “whatever” with a shrug!

Build a hierarchy. Resist the easiest compulsion first and keep resisting until it no longer bothers you to resist. Then, like climbing a ladder, resist the next hardest compulsion and the next hardest and so forth.

Set your intentions to provoke OCD. Confront a trigger you’ve been avoiding. While confronting the trigger refuse to do a compulsion. Talk to OCD as described in #1. Once this trigger no longer bothers you, move onto the next more difficult trigger.

Apply These Principles to End Compulsions

Easiest first, then hard. If you give in and perform a compulsion, go back and confront the same trigger again and again until there is no compulsive behavior. If you’re stuck, maybe there’s an easier trigger that you skipped or need to go back to.

Don’t stop ’til you reach the top. Build momentum. Keep moving up the ladder of challenges. When it gets easier, ask yourself, “How can I make this harder?” Remember, climb the ladder while always refusing to do a compulsion.

Shift into challenge mode. Wishing you did not have OCD or have certain thoughts is of no use to you. Wishing causes more suffering. It’s important to see your anxiety and thoughts as a challenge–an opportunity to practice your skills. This is no time to play the role of a victim. You don’t have to like anxiety but you do have to want it.

Accept responsibility. If you give into a compulsive behavior, admit what you are doing. No excuses. Own it. Name it. Keep away from the “story” of why your OCD tells you to do the compulsion. “I’m choosing to feed my OCD right now. I know this will make OCD stronger. I’m avoiding discomfort and that’s the only reason why I’m choosing to do this compulsion.” Get this message to your brain every single time you do a compulsion!

Creating new pathways takes time

Applying these principles will keep you compulsion-free. It’s a slow and difficult place to start, but once you pick up some momentum it gets easier and therefore, goes faster. Rather than shocking your brain, you are rewiring it. This takes time!

It takes time because you are training your brain how to experience anxiety.

I don’t tell my clients to “knock it off!” And, I hope those who love someone with OCD don’t say it either! There’s more to beating OCD than just “knocking it off.”

Resist Compulsions by Making Little Changes Over Time

People with OCD benefit from the very effective systematic method of resisting compulsions. Set reachable goals and make little changes over a period of time. With each success, you will grow more confident and more tolerant of anxiety.

It may take time and patience, (click for video) but it’s how you win the battle. At the suggestion of resisting compulsions, do you take a big gulp and say, “I’m getting anxious just thinking about it.” My response to more anxiety? “Great! You need the practice!”

It’s time to learn how to experience anxiety without a compulsion.

You can get started today! The first step, of course, is to identify each compulsion. You’ve got to know what you’re resisting, in order to resist!

Today’s Best Advice On How to Resist Compulsions:

For a long-term effect, commit to a systematic plan to stop compulsions. Include all of the above seven principles in your plan. Going cold turkey has little to do with staying compulsion-free.

Check back for the next post which will explain the difference between an observable compulsion and a mental compulsion. It’s important to know the difference because mental compulsions can be very sneaky!

Everything you ever wanted to know about how to resist compulsions

The next several posts on resisting compulsions will include:

What Is a Compulsion?

The True Purpose of a Compulsion

If a Compulsion Makes Me Feel Better, Why Would I Stop?

I Already Tried Resisting and It Didn’t Help

Can You Promise If I Resist It Will Help?

I’ve Got Way Too Much Anxiety to Resist Compulsions

It’s Too Risky to Stop My Compulsions, Someone Else Could Be Hurt

Is it Okay If I Use Distraction to Resist Compulsions?

Resisting Compulsions Just Doesn’t Feel Right

My Compulsions Are Out of Habit Not Fear

If I Stop One Compulsion Another One Will Just Pop Up

How Do I Find the Strength and Willpower to Resist Compulsions When I Don’t Have the Energy?

Questions? I can help!

If you have questions about how to resist compulsions be sure to add them to the comment section on this post. In addition to the topics mentioned above, I’ll be sure to address your questions and give you…

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Use a combination of CBT and meds.

The holy grail of medication…Something you want very much but is hard to get or achieve. An object that is sought after for its great significance.

Therein lies the problem. Its significance is not that great. It’s part of the solution. Not the main solution. I’m not making this up. It’s in the literature. Authors, speakers, and researchers say it all the time.

Despite all the many warnings to not become preoccupied with medication, it happens.

Has anyone else taken this medication for OCD and has it helped?

Yes, other people have taken that medication. Has it helped? Sometimes.

Even if the answer is: Most of the time ~or~ a lot of the time, the answer will NOT be all of the time. Even if the answer was, “9 out of 10 times that medication helps,” there still will be room for doubt. Even if I say every single client I know who has taken this drug has been helped, it might not help you.

There’s no way to feel comfortable with a medication until you take it and see what happens.

If you have been prescribed medication for the first time, it’s reasonable to have doubts and even worry. In a room of 100 people, how many of them would be concerned about taking a medication they’ve never taken before? Probably the majority, especially since we’ve been influenced by the commercials suing drug companies.

If you are suffering from OCD you’re desperate for relief. It’s understandable you’re looking for a medication to reduce your symptoms. And it’s very possible to find such a medication. It’s very possible to get relief.

Having hope that a pill can provide relief isn’t the problem.

The problem? Analyzing by comparing and contrasting people’s experiences, repeatedly seeking reassurance from googling or talking with numerous pharmacists. Questioning for hours and days, “should I take it?” Thinking about all the “what ifs” over and over. Searching for something new and looking for hours to find someone with the same symptoms and finding out what they take.

This is the problem…the preoccupation with it. The compulsive checking and analyzing.

Get off the fence as soon as possible. If it takes you two hours to take the first pill, then it could take months to get up to a therapeutic dose. Commit. Don’t waste time and energy deciding. Stay in close contact with the doctor who prescribed it and in the meantime here’s where you’ll find the holy grail of beating OCD:

Channel all that beautiful energy on self-care and therapy.

Work on flipping your mindset from fixed to growth. It’s about learning and growing from anything and everything.

Ask “What does my anxiety make possible for me?” If you’re not sure what this means, go HERE.

Help make your own serotonin by being just as kind and loving to yourself as you are to your best friend. (Until you practice self-compassion, OCD will have a hold on you, even with the perfect medication.)

Over the years I’ve seen many brave people confront OCD with ERP. It’s one of the scariest things a person can do. In their entire life, there will probably be nothing harder or scarier than the day they start to climb their hierarchy of fear—their Worry Hill.

Going up the Worry Hill takes determination. You don’t feel like doing it but you do it anyway. It takes courage because it’s doing everything OCD has told you not to do. How can something that feels so wrong be so right?

Go up the Worry Hill because you’ve got a fight in you. You don’t have a lot of energy, but you’ve got just enough. Get your life back. You’re tired of being a slave to OCD and watching your life pass by.

But, as you’re climbing the Worry Hill, it’s not getting easier. The chatter in your mind is getting louder and more frequent. What’s going on?

Here are 5 mistakes commonly made when climbing up the Worry Hill:

Mistake #1 Trying to Get Rid of Anxiety WANT the anxiety. You want it to be intense and you want it to last. It’s a mistake to do ERP in hopes of getting rid of anxiety. When doing ERP the goal is to purposefully make yourself anxious. As you climb the hierarchy the anxiety should intensify. This way you’ll begin to tolerate anxiety. You’ll become more and more confident in your ability to handle anxiety. As you climb the hierarchy don’t do anything to neutralize the anxiety. Sit with the anxiety. Want it. Say, “Good there’s my anxiety.”

Mistake #2 Looking Ahead When you climb the Worry Hill it’s going to feel “just wrong” and you might be scared out of your mind. Take it one step at a time. Don’t look up the hill. Focus on the step you’re taking right here, right now. It’s a mistake to look ahead. Keep your nose to the grindstone.

Mistake #3 No Momentum When climbing the Worry Hill, don’t stop ’til you get to the top. The mistake people make is to lose momentum. Presidential candidates work fiercely to build momentum. They say they won’t stop ’til they reach the top. They hold rallies, town hall meetings, and debates.They’re on TV 24 hours a day. This is an example of building momentum. If a presidential candidate disappears for even a day, they lose momentum. Stay in the game every single day. In fact, do at least 5 exposures every single day of your life.

Mistake #4 Trying to Get Rid of a Thought WANT the thought. It’s a mistake to do ERP in hopes of getting rid of unwanted intrusive thoughts. ERP teaches you to allow the thoughts or obsession to be there. Do nothing to get rid of them. In fact, use them in ERP so that you learn to live with them. As you climb the hierarchy invite the thoughts. Want the thoughts. Say, “Good there’s my scary thought, my obsession. Welcome.”

Mistake #5 Climbing the Wrong Worry Hill Make sure your hierarchy involves the actual core fear. It’s a mistake to not walk your fear through to the worst possible scenario.

Confront OCD with ERP

As you build the hierarchy keep asking: “If this happens, then what happens next? And then what? And then what?” Keep asking until you reach your worst fear. Your worst fear has to be what you’re climbing up towards.

What mistake do you think you’ve made or are making? Is it one of these five or something else? Will you choose to tackle this mistake?

If you’re just getting started with Exposure & Response Prevention you want to ease your way into it. Check out this book to ease your way into facing your fears.