Earned it.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Do any players still act like asshat nerdboogers in LFR anymore?
(yes)

Don't write angry.
Don't write angry.
Don't write angry.

Not working.

Siege of Orgrimmar is tough, even in LFR. I love Flex cause I am there with people with good communication skills. And stupid me, I thought, maybe, just maybe one more time before roll-over on Tuesday, my poor little druid could get a better healing weapon, and then I'd put Zep to work with enchants and Momma Matty to work with some gems. Get her all dressed up for the ball, you know? But alas, the evil stepsisters tore it all to hell:

Spacetwinkie and Junniper: You are ugly inside.

And, the RNGs do not love a druid named Momokawa.

[I am slipping into third person voice as a Gestalt-response to recent LFR trauma]:

Momokawa is so beautiful, so fun, but damn that girl cannot get a break with a healing weapon. Consider running every LFR, doing every free/bonus roll, and the only one she has is the staff from the big puddle boss thing who squeaks. No gem from Dragon-boy - just lousy with all that. And her human is very, very busy.

And
And
And apparently out of gold from all the repairs bills from Timeless Isle and other LFRs. No joke.

Why I thought I could run one real quick before going to the store, I'll never know.

First of all - the players do have a point: I do not have items enchanted or gemmed, because I am flat broke. This is the last of the screenshots:

But it started with this: Zoning into the Dark Shaman fight, and Spacetwinkie started some shit: (scroll to bottom)

Spacetwinkie first says to me "Let's kick Momokawa and get a real healer" because the group wiped so quickly, it wasn't even funny.

Now, I'd love to think I single-handedly can control the outcome of an LFR. Wouldn't that be amazing? I could save everyone, kill everything bad, find a cure for cancer and lose those last ten pounds. I COULD! Don't believe me? Well apparently the lack of two meta gems stood in my way of saving the world.

Do you notice their "air quote" quotes in his response to me?

And to be fair, Junniper joined in the conversation and they started a "shaming the player" conversation. They would NOT let it go. They only time they shut up was after the tank pulled the fight timer.

Well of course we wiped again, so fast, and upon death, these were the stats:

This is after the second wipe, right before I died and left the group. Not sure what point Space was trying to make...

BUT NOTICE Space's Item Level - 540!! Compared to my 509! NO WONDER! How dare I pollute Azerothian highways with my realiable junker while he sports an Escalade? His blaring horn blasts: MOMOSUCKS to one and all...tire marks on my poor back.

In fact, every player above me had a higher gear score. Rixxii didn't say a word, Ellana kept her own council; only Junniper and Spacetwinkie needed to shame me.

Now, I had just spent hours - and I am not exaggerating -- hours in there on Kellda. Wipe after wipe, and all dps low, all heals low, everyone just trying not to die by the barrage of garbage Blizzard has thrown at us. I am dubbing the new fights the DBM Battles, cause if you do not have Deadly Boss Mods for this patch in particular, you are screwed.

Please Fairy Godmother RNG: Get me a better healing weapon!

Well, damn - guess what? I DO feel better! Well, in one aspect anyway. And I don't really want to go back to the old loot system; I just want a better way to get things I need. No one needs the Spacetwinkies and Junnipers of the world to shame or call out. It doesn't make me, or anyone, a "better" player -- I have the defenses of my blog/words. What I worry about are those folks out there who don't have that, those inner-shields of confidence and GFYS's. (Go...Flip...Yo...Self)...

So.

There.

Someday the RNGs will smile upon sweet Momokawa and grant her the gifts of the gods. But for now, she'll shamble over to the grocery store to pick up some sake and orange chicken. Ah, Space, if you only knew how awesome I am in real life - say it to my face, coward.

Postscript: Many of the healers were missing gems, too. If only that was the only problem in LFR.

Friday, September 27, 2013

I can't keep up with the tsunami of WoW Insider articles. When I said my plans included more focus on job and Matty-shack, I meant it. I have no idea what's available on the Timeless Isle, no clue about stats, gear, or new recipes, and am completely in the dark about, well, everything. But one thing I do know are LFRs. The article that caught my eye yesterday is "Are We Getting Less Tolerant of Wipes?"

To me, this begs the question: were we ever tolerant in the first place? I guess, then, it's a matter of degrees. I will never forget when I went in an LFR with my loyal, larger guild (Iocane: this was before your time) and the group accused me of pulling some blob and before you could say "wut?" I was kicked. A guildmate then whispered to me, asking, "Did you pull it?" Way to stand behind your guildmate, and the answer is "No."

No more kicks.
No more deserter debuffs.
Add BIG determination.
If you die, you are removed from group immediately after the boss fight or wipe: BUT - no debuff, and you get a script as to what happened and why.

Sound harsh? Yes. So crazy though, it just might work!

Yesterday I tried for the umpteenth time to get Momokawa some goodies. I always seem to zone in after Immerseus: does this fight bore people to death? Is that why they wipe? Anyway, get through to Norushen, and that is always when the wheels fall off the bus. Now, I've done Flex about three times now, and I love it. Why is Flex easier, when the fights are dumbed-down in LFR? One key factor is communication and motivation. While fighting Norushen yesterday, three players repeatedly died. They were either AFK, didn't understand what the word "beam" meant, or maybe undergeared. I don't know. I don't care. I'm not mad, bro, it was just another typical experience at the beginning of a patch in LFR.

This same experience holds true when one is leveling a character: the expectations of other players is at once understandable (if this is one's 37th alt, perhaps one should know what to do, a little bit maybe?); however, it is also ridiculous. It feels like players expect a level 31 paladin to perform like Theck. Um, no.

The last caveat I would ask is it would be nice to have the option to report to Blizzard as to why you dropped a group: person using racist slurs, trolling, afk, etc. This is not just player reporting or snitching, but a way to gather data. Why should they want this data? Well, they're the ones asking the question.

In any case, I'll do what I always do: go do old content while everything calms down, and then end up again behind the curve.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Tuesday night I had forgotten that my buddy Turk's group ran Flex, and had the chance to bring Zeptepi. I realized this morning all my characters need to go back to school: there have been many class changes over the past two patches, and though I have not forgiven Blizzard's move to take away underwater breathing from shamans, and now my new grudge is the loss of movable casting on Kellda. Who the hell does Blizzard think she is?! A SHADOW PRIEST?! This aggression will not stand, man!

Cunning my ass. H is for HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WARLOCK SCORNED.

But the real "H" is for 'help.' I reinstalled elvui, and love it, but came up against some configuration bugaboos, and my handy in-house tech support is off doing gee, I don't know, his own life? But fortunately there was a really nice person in Turk's guild who helped clear up some confusion, and after more research, tweaking, and tinkering, am getting the UI down to where I need it to be. You know why I really love elvui? Cause at a click of a button all my bag slots get organized. I love it. CHINGchingCHING done. If only the real world were as easy to organize.

Day 26: Curve

There were two curve-balls thrown at me in game recently: one, if you click on the crane statue thingy on top of the hill when it's sparkly, it'll throw you up in the air! FUN! WHEEEEeeeeEEEE! Oh, whatthe?! There are platforms with big treasure chests? But, but but -- I didn't know! I didn't plan! Oh well...just enjoy the view on the way down:

It's Banned Books Week, a focused week of looking at the books and other media sources that small interest groups want to keep you from reading. Now, I am all for age-appropriate: there is no reason why anyone, no matter the age, should read Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey, (both could cause lasting harm). But Captain, My Captain, CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS?!

In the background, there are groups, cliques, cohorts, and cadres of folks who would like nothing more than all texts to smooth, lack of any conflict, and Sally, Dick, and Jane. I once had a conversation with a woman who would not let her daughters read the Harry Potter series, but did not mind Twilight. My tongue is still scarred from biting it. Sure, sure! Why not? An epic tale of friendship, love, loss, betrayal, honor, heroism, intelligence with a little bit of magic versus a story of horny teen vampires who don't want to overcome their love interests with too much sparkle. Sure. I see. (Great. Now I've just pissed off both Harry and Sparkly Vampire fans. Go Team Jacob!)

Well, these folks perhaps should sit down at a keyboard once in awhile and try to tell one honest story themselves, and see if it does any good. The whitewashing is getting old.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Tome and I share this characteristic: we get focused, dammit. Seriously, folks, if we ever run for public office we would kick ass and take names, and one of those names might be yours. Luckily for you fine folks, we are too busy chasing butterflies and practicing therianthropy. And I think Tome would agree with me, or my sentiment at least, that any player who has found success in a raid team or otherwise is fantastic. We want you to have your shinies. We love them, too!

Perhaps the nature of any game is a certain amount of exclusion: not saying it's fair, right, or desired. It just is. I bring this up because the other day young leet druid reminded me about the wolf mount that drops in a ten man if I get Garrosh down "ahead of the curve." I missed out on Lei Shin, and now I see another train coming down the tracks that is going to forget to stop at the Matty-station. My first reaction: obsession. How was I going to get this one done? How could I find a raid team that fits my time demands, skill set, and personality?

To find a group that suits all three, and mine to them, now that should be a Feat of Strength. Like expecting Blizzard to give us cool mounts and pets on their anniversaries: impossible.

I mentioned my desires to a gentlemen with whom has been gracious to invite me along on their flex raids on Wednesday nights. I think Flex Raids are the greatest thing since French Vanilla creamer in little creamer packages. Turns out, that is the ONE night of the week that is chopped in twos by Matty-shack duties. Regardless, being in a Flex isn't going to get the 'chieve done. I need a REAL team people. He kindly told me it would be puggable before too long.

I...am scared of pugs.

Damn.

Used to do some fun things with Big Bear and his pals, but he's got a new favorite shaman, so that's not going to happen. Let's see, let's see: maybe my big guild! Sure! Maybe I can recruit for that! Except I do not have experience in recruiting, and wouldn't know what to say: Hey, kids, join a forty-something shaman for a ten-man normal! No nerd raging, no down-talking, no bitching, no mumbling/girl-gamer voice (you know what I am talking about), no up-talking, have a sense of humor, don't take yourself too seriously, don't shout or whisper in Vent/Mumble, and for god's sake don't eat bran flakes before every pull and no you can't take your dog for a walk now! Sure. I'd bet they come in droves! Well, hmmm...what to do...what to do? Switch to Horde and beg Navi for a spot on her B team? No? There's a way to end a beautiful friendship. Stand in fire, spill hot coffee on lap, and go to emergency room.

I keep reminding myself that I can only raid two short-session raid nights a week at most, and even with that with A LOT of understanding from CD Rogue. I'm in the Pacific Time Zone, so when night owls are doing their thing, even on the east coast, I need to be ready for sleep at 9:30PM.

Tiffin folded the letter, creasing the edges repeatedly with her thumbnail. The edges could have cut fruit. Anduin slept in the cradle nearby, downy and soft. He would have slept anywhere, or smiled at anyone: he was an angel. Tiffin could not imagine life without her son. Her mother cautioned her with an old-wives' tale that one must tell new fathers their children look exactly like them. Finding any resemblance between the baby and Anduin took great creativity, however; but by the Light, the baby was a small replica of his mother. She prayed his sweet nature would be courageous, too, when the time came. And with a father like Varian, opportunities for bravery were absolute. She came out of her reverie, and tossed the letter in the fire. She would speak to Varian at next opportunity. For now, she leaned in and smelled the baby's hair, intoxicated with love. She heard shouting outside through the balcony, and went to investigate.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Confession: as I write this, my brain is fuzzy and tired. I have so much to do today (don't we all?!) and yet it seemed like a really good idea to stay up and watch This Is The End (because who doesn't want to see Jonah Hill make sweet, sweet love with a well endowed demon?) No, that is not a spoiler. None of you folks are low-brow enough to watch that self-indulgent albeit sporadically funny movie. Danny McBride is always a treat.

But the 'morning' post was intended for yesterday morning. I thought I had an hour to myself when young squire came downstairs and informed me, no, no I did not. I haven't had a chance to focus on my Fished-Up Wish Stories in weeks, and Navi's managed to get hers done and I'm sure she's busier than I am. Be patient with me, folks: all I can ask.

I am embarrassed to admit I had to look this one up, and when I found out what it meant further ashamed because it is a concept I should have been intimately connected with from my BFA days. Must have been smoking too many clove cigarettes and wearing black turtlenecks.

Now while researching, I came across this charming explanation (yes, British accents make everything charming. Deal with it.)

Many, in fact most. of my blogger buddies far exceed my skills in basic screenshot composition. I am a hardcore amateur. So I found this post helpful when considering my shots, because though I can handle my way around a blank canvas, sometimes a reminder of breaking form and style is a good thing.

But it's still a crappy screenshot. Rule of Thirds can't save everything.

Right now, right here, I need to wake up the goats in my house and get them herded. Yes, that is a metaphor. I don't really have goats, but some humans equally as stubborn.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Today's RTMT is brought to you by a big cup of coffee, a few dirty dishes in the sink, and a big, fat, to-do list for today that may or may include anything in Azeroth. Oh, who am I kidding? As soon as I get home and get dinner going, I'll be there, smelling burning fish sticks and hoping for more pets or mounts.

Let's see where we are with things:

*Mataoka: sulking with her pretty cloak, hating melee, knowing she needs to go back to elvui and do some damage, people! Invited to Flex raids on Wednesday nights but has family obligations that chop up the hours on that night. Refer to below.

*Luperci: has all the gear and item level she could possibly need to start tanking, yet lacks the biggest buff of all: confidence.

*Ceniza: this isn't really working out for her.
*Zeptepi: ditto
*Momokawa: cannot get an RNG break for a better healing staff or maces. Last seen chasing butterflies with Sasquatch around Mt. Hood.
*Kellda: "You want it dead? I know a guy... " Nothing gets in this girl's way. Well, maybe a few things. But like the recalcitrant honey badger, Locks don't care.

*Haanta: SKIN ALL THINGS....howl at moon, skin some more.

I know this is irrational but I really have a hard time going in there on any character but Haanta. It's like leaving money on the table with all that dead stuff just lying there ready for the taking. But I need to get in there with my inscriptors to see if I can get my own Glyph of Rain of Frogs. I know my buddy Turk got this and I pestered him so much for it I finally got an all-caps response. Deserved, yes, but I didn't see his first responses in the reams of chat. I tried to fix my communication channels but it's still clogged with trolls and junk mail. But I won't bug him anymore, I'll just go get my own. (Still kind of tearing up in over-sensitivity to my mistake. I hate getting all-capped. CD Rogue spends a lot of his conversation in all-caps.) But I'll fix my UI later, and try to streamline communication in Azeroth and real-life.

This skull wants something...not sure what. Sure it's right in front of me...

What a lovely surprise!

There is some bliss in ignorance when it comes to adventures in Azeroth. I have tried not to read anything about 5.4, and it's at the juncture where it's costing me time and gold. Getting the Ominous Flame was a great surprise: I named her Gaslight because I am crazy to play this 'game' so much. But now I'm at the point where I'd better start focusing a bit more, and go read Tome and Cymre's blogs, among others. And take notes.

Speaking of which, it's almost 6:30 AM, I have a 7:30 AM meeting, and am not completely sure where I want the day to go. Planning for my days is critical to any success. I guess that's why I leave most of Azeroth unscripted and improvisational.

Theme Song:
Stupid Girl/Garbage

Speaking of Neil DeGrasse Tyson:

So here is my question for you: What is the most astounding fact about Azeroth?

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Mr. Snerguls edited the content, and has now made it safe for public consumption:

We may not like the RNGs and how Blizzard structures things on occasion, but no one can accuse them of not using a wealth of literary allusions. Get out your SparkNotes, kids, or for us older folks, Cliff Notes.

It is a work that has stood the test of time, and those Blizzard writers are getting their money's worth out of those English majors, that's for sure. Which reminds me: this story on NPR the other day depressed and enlightened me: Why Women Choose Lower Paying Jobs. I have my own albatross to bear, and it's called Student Loans.

In Azeroth, depending on the zone, one could visit four seasons in one day. From Storm Peaks to the misty gloom of Duskwood, the bright shores of Booty Bay to the autumnal secrets of Crystalsong Forest. But here in earth, as the Southern Hemisphere moves to their spring and we "Winter is Coming" Northerners move to fall and winter, seasons are not static. Even if you live somewhere where there are no real seasons, you will notice shifts of mood and tone. In the mornings, in my neighborhood, the fog fills the spaces like an unwelcome guest, and is bounced at by the sun around noon.

Spider protecting the Matty-shack from flying critters...

The best thing I did this summer was leave the wysteria alone. Benign neglect kept it thriving. The ones in the pots are rootbound and dead: I know there is a lesson here. I'll dig it up later.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

And I'm still pissed off at Blizzard for taking away underwater breathing from shamans. REALLY?! The ONE CLASS that specifically works with the elements of fire, earth, wind, and WATER and they can't control that? Sure, sure, warlocks can, cause you know, it makes sense, right? Since they play with disease, fire, and soul-sucking. That has everything to do with breathing underwater (written in my sarcasm font.)

Oh, and as far as the Timeless Isle goes, I'm having a very difficult time not allowing Haanta to go and skin to her heart's content. Since many people don't have leatherworking, the money left on the table, so to speak, is plentiful. For a miner like Matty, not so much. Those mining nodes are sparse, and fast running warriors always jump there first. Yes, that's lots of fun.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Unexpected

This little Ashwing moth is an unexpected joy: the way it carries its own light, and is so gentle and soft. This was an unexpected surprise from the Timeless Isle. Oh sure, I know there are other more grand pets to acquire, but this little blessing makes me happy. I was thinking too, recently about other players I miss who don't play anymore, and wishing they'd come back and at least say hello, and I got my wish with one of those players this morning (wave!)

Thursday, September 12, 2013

When will I ever learn!? Human males dressed up in fine clothes are shysters of the lowest caliber! Whizzig totally sucked me in with his fancy silver 'rare' frame and spawn rate. For some reason I stupidly did not read the fine print, and thought this was a pirate costume for ME, but alas, for my butt-floor-wiping-dog. (Not a fan.) So, there ya go, Perky. You have a few more chances at playing pirate, and maybe for Talk Like A Pirate Day I'll get you out again, but otherwise, back to the kennel you go. This little prank cost 500 thingies.

I actually have a lot more to save about 5.4, but like getting the first four bosses accomplished, everyone has beaten me to the punch. Meh. I want to say something about other things to sniff now, but that's just gross.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

I'm sure Garrosh directly or indirectly had something to do with Blanchy's demise.

Grumble, grumble. Today's Random Tuesday Morning Thought is brought to you by the letter "G," and only the letter "G." G is for grumble, as in: "I am grumbling because I wonder what part of 5.4 will be blocked for a partner/solo/altaholic player such as myself," and also, yes, the big guy, Garrosh. The man who puts the zest in my lemon squares and knows how to make all the librarians swoon with his grammatical prowess. If anything is blocked or obstructed for a player like me in 5.4, Garrosh has graciously opened the gates. Granted, I do not have any Level 90 Horde Toons. This is not due to any prejudice or xenophobic reaction. I just don't. Okay, sure, there was that Theramore thing. Ceniza the Ash Witch is still bitter, and cries herself to shameful sleep when she eats certain lemon squares, alone in the dark, remorseful but delicious. But other than that, you know the old saying, "Some of my best friends are Horde." Heck, if I could have an entire cast list of just Forsaken and Trolls, I would. I miss my goblin warlock, too. But a level 90 switch may not happen anytime soon. CD Rogue and I have been in deep financial negotiations in the Matty-shack, and they are not pretty. Kind of at the Breaking Bad tension level. Okay, not that bad. But I wish I had to spray a stack of money for silverfish.

In any case, his invitation to join him in his own demise seem genuine and gracious. If you can join him, you should. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, resetting on Tuesdays, of course.

(On a serious note, I do kind of wish this release wasn't timed close to the anniversary of a real world event. That's all I'll say.)

Monday, September 9, 2013

For the first time, Señor and I were on-line at the same time when the mileage ticker turned over to the next guild level. Instead of telling you how excited we were, I'll show you:

Tonight my buddy Krash invited me to a 25-man to get Lei Shin. I must admit I really wanted this achievement; in fact, I was kind of twisting my mouth thinking what a shame this particular Feat of Strength will pass me by, as so many others, and there isn't a thing I can do about it. Oh well.

I love/hate professions in Azeroth: being somewhat of a crafty witch in real life, I love making things: I have made hand-painted furniture, murals in babies' and toddlers' rooms (and been paid real money for this talent), hand-made jewelry specializing in funky, chunky bracelets, necklaces, but dainty earrings (many suitable for belly-dancing, if I did that). Now the only things I seem to make are the intangible in Azeroth, and though it can be satisfying at times, it can be equally frustrating when I feel Blizzard shuts off supplies to those of us who are not active raiders. I haven't ever seen a single Haunting Spirit except for 10K gold in the AH. That. Pisses. Me. Off. When it comes to professions, it feels WAY too much like class warfare: the "rich raiders" get richer because they have access to the materials. I am for free public education. The best and most convincing gentleman to speak on this subject is John Green, author of many phenomenal novels. He talks fast: watch it twice.

Look, I get, and support grudgingly, that there are only mounts that drop in raids. There must be some perks to putting up with another group of humans who may or may not have your best interests at heart. I was talking with young leet druid yesterday, and the times I have had to make tough choices to leave raid teams--I would get in on a group in a weird progression spot (to date I have not completed BWD), CD Rogue's health issues required more of my attention in the evenings, or other scheduling conflicts, or have had other team members who were, um, well. Never mind. The past is the past. He said the true elite raiders are never rude to anyone, or arrogant, and I thought this is true of the world, too. Heroic leaders and teachers show us all the path, and don't block or obstruct with condensation* condescension or arrogance.

I just wish that crafted items didn't cost so damn much gold. I still don't have all the jewelcrafting mounts, nor will I have this for months, maybe years: 5.4 Sky Golem.