snappy comebacks for your wife

There is no doubt about it, nobody wants to listen to their nagging wife or girlfriend.

Many wives who nag are not even aware that they are nagging everyone around them, they actually think that they are being helpful. Your wife probably believes that if she nags you enough, you might just miraculously change your behaviour.

There is a story about a woman was upset with her husband’s temper. She went to the doctor and explained to the doctor how her husband would lose it and get really angry. The doctor told the woman that anytime she noticed her husband was losing his temper she should grab a glass of water and swish it around in her mouth. The woman went back to the doctor and said it was a miracle, her husband was no longer getting so angry. The woman wanted to know what about the swishing sound calmed her husband down. The doctor explained, “It has nothing to do with the swishing sound, it’s you learning to keep your mouth shut that does the trick.”

Next time your partner is giving you a lecture or a hard time try some of these snappy comebacks. Say them in a joking way so you don’t get yourself into too much trouble!

Top ten comebacks for your nagging wife or girlfriend

You’re like a plunger; you keep bringing up old shit.

Please be patient. I’m fucking things up as fast as I can.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right.

You go girl! And don’t comeback!

I’m sorry was it my job to fill your life with joy today?

No really, it’s adorable when you blame everyone but yourself.

Just because you’re a drama queen doesn’t mean I am going to treat you like royalty.

I’m going to need you to turn down your psycho a little bit.

Getting in an argument with you is like getting arrested. Everything I say, can and will be used against me.

No, you’re right, let’s do it the dumbest way possible because it’s easier for you.

Your wife might be having a bad or she might have been in a grumpy mood for the last few years. Bad moods are contagious; you may find that you are in an irritable state after being around your wife when she is having a bitchy episode.

When you have been kind, put in the effort and tried to help her, it can be beyond annoying you’re your wife continues to be miserable and act bitchy towards you.

If you want to let your wife know that you have had enough of mood swings, use one of our snappy comebacks below but be warned if you use one of these comebacks you will probably have to cook your dinner yourself!

Top ten sarcastic comebacks for bitchy wives

Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.

Did someone binge on bitch flakes this morning?

No, you’re right, let’s do it the dumbest way possible because it’s easier for you.

And you pointing out the obvious is what, helpful?

Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.