Top 20 Weirdest Zelda Characters

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Hyrule is home to more weirdos than you think.

By Audrey Drake

Lost in a wave of golden Triforces, swords in stones, courageous heroes and glorious destinies, most people overlook the less obvious, odder side of the Legend of Zelda series. While some of these strange characters are simply impossible to ignore (Tingle, for instance), others don't get the credit they deserve for how gosh darn kooky they are. And that's exactly why I compiled this list of the 20 weirdest Zelda characters.

Prepare yourself - weirdness ensues. You've been warned.

List last updated: September 5, 2013

#20: Salvatore

Appearances: Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass

Tons of Zelda veterans undoubtedly remember Salvatore - although there's a good chance they didn't even know he had a name (unless they read his figurine description in Wind Waker's Nintendo Gallery). This would-be van Gogh is the guy who runs those awesome, pirate-themed mini-games on Windfall Island and Spectacle Isle in Wind Waker (as well as on Bannan Isle in Phantom Hourglass). According to the short bio on his figurine, Salvatore is a struggling painter who thought up these crazy mini-games as a way to score some quick cash. Silly Salvatore, you're so sad with your poor life choices and degrading career. But it's okay. After all, you make us laugh with your humorous wooden cutouts and wily antics, and while the things your profession would have you do certainly are odd, we like you anyway. Besides, you're not nearly as weird as the rest of the folks on this list.

#19: The Tingle Brothers

Appearances: Wind Waker, Minish Cap

The only surefire way to out-crazy Tingle (we'll get to him later) is by not being Tingle but willfully choosing to act like him anyway. Such is the chosen destiny of the Tingle Bros., an odd combination of Tingle's twin brothers, Ankle and Knuckle, and some poor, poor soul named David Jr., who isn't really related at all. Known for following the ways of the outlandish fairy wanna-be, these guys are essentially Tingle's slaves. Anyone who would allow that to happen has just got to be a weirdo. The worst part of it is that they're just carbon copies of Tingle, and nothing's less weird then unoriginality. So listen up, all you would-be Tingle impersonators out there, if you want to make it higher on this list you're going to have to come up with your own shtick. And no amount of Kooloo-Limpah-ing is going to change anything.

#18: Error

Appearances: Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

"I am Error," he said. "Whaaaa?" replied players of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link everywhere, awash in confusion. After all, aren't old-school NPCs supposed to supply you with necessary information relevant to the quest at hand? How do you expect Link to save your two-dimensional booty without all the deets, huh, Error? Whether Error is simply a man of few words with a silly name, some sort of self-aware android, or just another glitchy NPC, one thing is for sure - this guy is weird.

#17: Sale and Schule Donavitch

Appearances: Link's Awakening

Someone needs to find these alligators' parents and give them a stern talking to, for they must have been very strange indeed. Their son, Sale, is a baby-blue alligator that eats dog food, which he trades for bananas (obviously), which he then sells at Sale's House O' Bananas, his own, personal, beachside business. His brother, Schule Donavitch, is quite different, but also a total loon. This gator's not only red (strange considering his bro is blue), but also a quirky artist. He sculpts mermaids and paints pictures of hippo models. And by hippo models I mean hippopotamuses that partake in modeling, not miniature, wooden hippos. Man, this is getting weird. On to number sixteen!

#16: Crazy Tracy

Appearances: Link's Awakening, Captain Rainbow

As her name implies, this chick is crazy. She lives with crazy rodents, brews crazy potions and has a crazy manager. Seriously, whoever hooked her up with a cameo gig in Nintendo's Captain Rainbow should be fired. Appearing in a game that crazy doesn't look good on your résumé. Then again, crazy is kind of her thing, and on this list, that must count for something.

#15: Ruto

Appearances: Ocarina of Time

Excuuuse me, Princess Ruto, but you are one creepy, bratty, little fish girl, you hear that? Wanting to marry and make babies with someone of another species is just plain weird, even if you're the princess of the Zoras and this Link guy saved your life. It's still wrong, babe! It's wrong! Poor, innocent Link, don't let Ruto get her hands on you or there's fish sex in your near future! Hey, wait, is it still considered bestiality if said fish sex is the result of the fish having sex with you rather than the other way around? Either way, it's gross. And weird.

Many of Hyrule's inhabitants are pretty weird, but few can, at the same time, manage to be groovy as all hell. Seriously, Beedle is like the fifth Beatle. He's the grooviest guy to ever clone himself relentlessly and then sail the vast ocean in search of someone to sell a bunch of bombs to. Maybe, if you're lucky, he'll even sell you a ceramic piece of heart or a decapitated pig's head. Hey, you could even use the pig head as a bait bag! It's genius. That way, you can store food that's meant to be eaten by pigs inside of a pig. Then feed it to fish. Creepy, convenient, and well worth a spot on this list.

#13: Guru-guru

Appearances: Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Oracle of Seasons

Now, most people probably refer to this one as "that music box guy from Ocarina," but the man actually has a name, and that name is Guru-guru. What's a Guru-guru, you ask? Well, as it would seem, it's a guy who spends his entire life living inside of a windmill obsessively performing the same song (albeit a catchy one) forever and ever and ever. Guru-guru also hates kids who play ocarinas, claiming that they use them to make it rain and mess up his precious windmill by playing the very song he is obsessed with. The only thing weirder is that he's telling the truth.

#12: Kamaro

Appearances: Majora's Mask

Kamaro plays a pretty small role in Majora's Mask. It's a somewhat insignificant detail to the story, actually, as all you do is jam with him so that he'll give you his mask. Needless to say, he almost didn't make the list. But then I remembered that he's a dancing zombie, and was forced to reconsider. The dance itself is pretty weird too, and to top it off, that mask he gives you... yeah, it makes it look like his face is popping out of your face and forces you to dance like him. Creepy and creepier.

#11: Falbi

Appearances: Twilight Princess

Confidence is one thing, weirdness is another. Most self-respecting Hylian men wouldn't be caught dead dressed like Falbi, and that's a good thing. Maybe it's the orange, polka-dotted parachute pants, or maybe it's the frilly, midriff-bearing green number he wears up top, but this guy's just plain silly-looking. Perhaps that's why he's such a loner. He lives by himself on the edge of a cliff and charges people to willingly jump off in an attempt to coast safely down to Lake Hylia whilst holding a cucco (read: chicken) as the only means of slowing their fall. Why would someone pay to do this? For one reason: to get away from Falbi.