Oh Yeah?

1. Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it…You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh is pronounced ‘burra’ e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

16. Last but not the least, and for heaven’s sake…..it’s Nuclear as in clear NOT Nucular.

Yes. But then again…(see me get myself in trouble) –

It’s also tune, not chewn and not chyewwn. It’s news, not nyewws. It’s duke, not jyewk or jyewwk. If you want to pronounce them chyewwn, nyewws, and jyewwk, then you ought to spell them that way.

And it’s drawing, not drawring. If you want to pronounce it drawring, you ought to spell it that way. Furthermore, it’s not Chiner and India or Australier and New Zealand.And there’s jaguar – it’s not pronounced jag you a. Neither is Nicaragua pronounced Nick a rag you a.

I could go on – I could go on for hours – especially after I’ve been listening to Mark Lawson – but that’s enough trouble for now.

Update – to point out that it has suddenly occurred to me that I disagree with Brian Leiter, on whose site I found the extended joke, that it could have been written by John Cleese. Well, it could have been, of course – but I disagree with the implication that it seems likely or plausible, that the joke is Cleesesque. It’s not. It’s far too pedestrian and obvious for that. And not nearly funny enough.

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14 Responses to “Oh Yeah?”

Old Californians say “worsh” for “wash” and “Worshington” for “Washington” and “rilly” for “really” and make the vowel sound in “roof” match the vowel sound in “cook” instead of the vowel sound in “proof”. Took me years to train myself to pronounce these words correctly.

Yup, jeet jet. Woody Allen plays with that one in ‘Annie Hall’ – while playing with paranoia at the same time. Suspecting anti-Semitism, quoting conversation with friend: ‘Did you eat yet?’ ‘No, jew?’

Egg-nishner. Pier staff. Good old Amis. Lucky Jim is full of that stuff – as are his and Larkin’s letters to each other, especially the early ones. Some of the funniest damn correspondence I’ve ever read.

I’m talking old Californians, maybe four or five generations old. Not all of them, though. My best friend, whose family has been here since 1830, doesn’t say “worsh”. In fact, when I asked her if her family pronounced it that way, she vehemently declared, “Oh, I hate ‘worsh’ people! Can’t stand ’em!” She backtracked when informed that I’m the only one in my family who cured himself of this pronunciation.

For a while I, too, picked up that Noo Yawker “hwawt cwawfee” thing from living in Manhattan for several years. But I’m better now, thanks.

Damn, you have skewered me on this observation. The egg nishner in my office is totally US. You northern memisphere people will be thrilled to know that in my bit of Orstrylya it is sticky-humid, and 38degrees C in the waterbag. This is to compensate you for knowing that the last three months I have lived in sunny comfort, watching sunsets over beautiful beaches while it is so cold up there.