Surviving abuse: the facts

Surviving abuse:

Fact:
Abuse can take various forms. Abuse can be physical, sexual or emotional. It can include being hurt, deprived or neglected. All of these are important and can cause a person great distress.

Fact:
It’s not your fault. Abuse is when somebody with more power ill-treats you or takes advantage of you. It is that person who has done wrong – not you. It is not unusual for people who have been abused to blame themselves. Often they have been told it is their fault, but it isn’t, and they shouldn’t have to feel guilty or ashamed.

Fact:
It doesn’t mean you’re weird. Lots of people have suffered abuse – people from all walks of life. Sometimes people feel they must be different, dirty, weird or even mad if they have been abused. But having bad things done to you does not make you bad. You are still a normal, good, worthwhile person full of potential.

Fact:
Abuse can affect your life. The pain people suffer from having been abused can last a long time. Sometimes it can make life very difficult. It can affect your self-confidence, your education, your work and your relationships. It can leave people feeling anxious or depressed. But these problems don’t have to last forever.

Fact:
People do get over abuse. Many people who have been abused have found ways to deal with their feelings and difficulties and have gone on to lead happy and fulfilling lives. This doesn’t mean that the abuse didn’t matter. But you can reclaim your life and leave the pain in the past.

Fact:
You can get help. Nowadays there is a lot more understanding about how abuse affects people and there are projects to help people. People can be helped by talking about their experiences and how these have affected them. This can be painful but with good support you can get through it and take back your life.

Fact:
You have the right to be safe. Your past experiences may have left you feeling that the world is unsafe. But no-one has the right to hurt you, to bully or harass you or to treat you badly, whoever they are. It is your right to be safe and you are entitled to do the things that will help you keep safe now. This may mean sticking up for yourself or getting help from others so that you can live your life free from hurt and fear.