gay old party

Anti-Gay Alabama A.G. Caught Being Gay

This may come as a shock, but a prominent anti-homosexual Republican attorney general has apparently been caught having homosexual sex intercourse with his homosexual gay male assistant. Bonus: The dude’s wife caught him, in their bed. This is the rumor that the AG’s office has officially denied, so now of course everybody is spilling the sordid details.

AG in question is Troy King, who, of course, is only interested in outlawing homosexuality and sex toys. His gay lover is either a college “buddy,” or a very young youngster and “Homecoming King” from Troy University. What are the odds of a dude named Troy King getting caught in bed with a Homecoming King from Troy University? This seems like a wacky sitcom plot, on a gay porn channel. (Is this what that Will & Grace was about?)

What really pisses me off is that THIS guy is nailing prime college jock ass and I’m not.

choinski

FLALABAMALOUS!!!!!!!!

Casse-toi pauvre con

Wait? A bed!? Not a truck stop or a bathroom stall? What a conservative.

shortsshortsshorts

NEED GAY JULY REFERENCE…

foofooly?

youly?

You’re doing it wrong!!!!!1!

eyegoneblack

Remember when things like this came as a shock?

Yeah, me neither.

Delicious

Is this the start of Endless Cummer, Pt. 2?

Doglessliberal

when does something move beyond cliche into guarantee? He is 1) against homosexual gay sex, 2) Republican 3) married, thus he is 4) gay and 5) will be caught at it. Add 6) he will repent and ask God to make him a non-homosexual gay man and everything will be fine.

And his name is Troy.

queeraselvis v 2.0

OH MY GOD GAY GAY GAY GAAAAAAAAAAY!

And the Loretta Nall send-up of “Take It On the Run” is pure bonafide genius.

Guppy06

Who could look at a face like that and not know he was gay?

Quacker

Hot-Diggity-Dawg! Ain’t nothin finah than ass-fukkin in ‘Bama. Go Tide! Teh Wonkette can haz “ride” this 1 all the way til the ‘lectshun

Doglessliberal

AND 7) look at his picture!

NoWireHangers

He should probably ask Spitzer if he can wear the McGreevy tie for the requisite press conference.

Dave J.

During the 2005 legislative session, King made headlines by wearing an electronic monitoring bracelet of the kind used by parolees and others under judicial monitoring. King promised to wear the bracelet until the legislature passed tougher monitoring laws for parolees and convicted sex offenders, and removed it when such laws were passed.

He was just ACTING, people!!!!

queeraselvis v 2.0

And bless her heart, but Troy’s wife really should have asked him for fashion advice before making her dress out of the living room drapes.

Harvey Birdman

[re=33310]Guppy06[/re]: Total gayface.

servo77

HELLO, GAYFACE!!!

Political Addict

I googled Troy King and one of the first entries was a listing for one Troy King, classical guitarist, with a note from my virus/spyware that the site may damage my computer. [true]

So watch out for Troy King viruses.

Especially if you’re a homecoming king.

WhatTheHeck

Oh stop it Ken.
You’ve got to be making this shit up.
I mean, what are the odds?

2goats

[re=33308]Doglessliberal[/re]: Has anyone met a hetro named Troy?

Ken Layne

[re=33301]HomoPolitico[/re]: First you get de sugar, then you get de power, then you get de … homecoming kings.

Carrie_Okie

SCREW-LIE[re=33304]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
“SCREW-LIE” (Scruly?)
It’s a RED, WHITE, and BLEW season for TWO (men).

Guppy06

[re=33322]Harvey Birdman[/re]: And his wife has “beard” written all over her.

Doglessliberal

[re=33330]2goats[/re]: if they have, they were wrong. Even Troy McClure on the Simpsons is clearly gay.

shortsshortsshorts

Anytime another dude is sitting next to me and arguing that “MARRIAGEZ IZ DEFINITIONED BETWEEN TEH MENZ AND TEH WOMENZ” I move a few feet away expecting an ass grab or reacharound.

[re=33330]2goats[/re]: Troy McClure: “Gay? I wish! If I were gay they’d be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost.”

[re=33360]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Do you have any idea how pissed off I was when the SCOTUS made the dirtydirtybuttsecks legal?

Delicious

Let’s be fair. Everyone’s entitled to a little sweet Dick-sie Land Delight.

Canuckledragger

Suggestion: henceforth, whenever a closeted GOPerv who rails against teh gayz gets busted for doing the nasty with a same-sexer, we say he was “troyking.”

i.e.

Q: “What did Senator Dick Inmouth get arrested for?”

A: “He was caught troyking.”

A living legacy left by an estimable hypocritical asshole.

Like “Santorum,” only marginally less puke-inducing.

Doglessliberal

thank you thank you, Ken for this. This day needed this story. Too much jaw-dropping, yet not really surprising, shit from the White House, so we needed a little closeted-gay-hypocrite leavening. Early Cummer Delights begin!

S.Luggo

His middle name is Robin.
Case closed.

2goats

[re=33361]Doglessliberal[/re]: “what self-respecting gay man would let his wife out of the house looking like that?” See the question includes the answer. Self hate apparently adds piquancy for the GOPers. Plus they get off on denying their beards comfort of sex toys and/or fashion advice.

freakishlystrong

[re=33361]Doglessliberal[/re]: I can’t WAIT to see what she wears for the humiliating public “apology/denial”…

Loretta Nall is AWESOME!!!
@queeraselvis v 2.0, agreed: the REO speedwagon reference is inspired. who is this woman???

also, we all agree all Troys are gay, can we also agree they all are bottoms? at least this one is…..

villageatrois

Ken, you’re getting lazy. Same story every time — Christian, family-man, elected Republican, anti-gay, anti-porn gets caught doing that gay sex thing. When you want the afternoon off, you just copy and paste the story, change the name, photo-shop in matching head/ perp-walk wife set, and Presto! you’re out the door early on a sunny day. (Trying to figure out how I can make this shtick work for me.)

Quacker

King was an early supporter of the 2008 presidential campaign of Arizona Senator John McCain. King’s name had been mentioned as a possible gubernatorial candidate in 2010, but we suppose that’s out now…

oldguy

“He was appointed by Governor Bob Riley in 2004, when William Pryor resigned to accept a federal judgeship on an appointment from President George W. Bushy.” Locust Fork Journal

AxmxZ

A bed? That’s oddly conservative of him… were all the neighborhood truck stop bathroom stalls taken?

Quacker

Whoops! To find the above quote in a news story is just TOO much….

Guppy06

[re=33372]Canuckledragger[/re]: What we really need is to be proactive about this and start compiling a “Gay Watch List” of homophobic and/or anti-sex politicians whose outings are only a matter of time. Maybe a take a cue from the DOD and produce a deck of playing cards with pictures of Charlie Crist and Mitt Romney and the like.

LorettaNall

>>Good God, what self-respecting gay man would let his wife out of the house looking like that? THAT is his true shame.<<

I’m not sure that one can be topped! If I laugh anymore today I’m gonna have to go to the hospital.

Makeithurt

As Kurt told us:

“What else should I be
All apologies
What else could I say
Everyone is gay”

capitol-hillbilly

What are the odds of a dude named Troy King getting caught in bed with a Homecoming King from Troy University? in alabama, i’d say about one in three …

This just in; troy King transferred to South Carolina, and as everyone knows, that is the new gay!

sleepy

[re=33436]Doglessliberal[/re]: right, and let me likewise clarify — that he named his kids asher, briggs, and colden (and not, say, adam, ben, and chuck (though, i can’t even tell if they’re grrlz or what)) only confirms that he (and not so much his poor chillens) is, obviously, a total gay-wad.

Anita Cocktail

[re=33447]sleepy[/re]: WTF kind of name is “colden”? and WTF with the alphabetical order? moran.

Doglessliberal

[re=33438]Anita Cocktail[/re]: nothing about her is steely. Dough-jawed.

[re=33447]sleepy[/re]: Oh, yeah, big time. And at least he could have gotten a hot beard like Mike Piazza or Charlie Crist

Joey Ratz

[re=33392]villageatrois[/re]: What makes this story different is that Troy Robin King was having illicit buttsecks with his first cousin, Homecoming King.

sleepy

[re=33453]Anita Cocktail[/re]: their next (hypothetical? adopted?) kid, obv, would’ve been named dick.

RooseveltFranklin

He must have gotten tired of rolling her in flour to find the wet spot.

LorettaNall

queeraselvis v 2.0 : Thanks for the welcome…and to my knowledge I am not related to Modine Gunch.

Glad y’all liked my rendition of “Take it on the Run”
I liked my version of Bobby Brown by Frank Zappa better myself
Be sure and click on the parody song link as it is another doosie about gay baptist preachers who die of auto erotic asphyxiation while their wives are on vacation and about King Troy’s ragin’ moralistic hard-on against all things pleasurable. Not to be missed!

gurukalehuru

Y’all are being awful mean about poor Paige’s dress, but be fair…ain’t nothin’ in the world gonna make that woman look thin.

gurukalehuru

Briggs, Colden and Asher. I don’t know if homosexuality is hereditary, but I’d say those kids are definitely playing against a stacked deck.

Q2

Geez Luoise…this hasn’t happened for a whole week now.

Outstando

It’s all the rage right now in the South to name your kids after historic (i.e. early 1990s) Laura Ashley patterns. Especially if you’re gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.

I’m starting to believe the whole Iraq fuck up was just a head fake so that Bush and Rove could implement the gay agenda. I mean, Roberts? Come on! In five years that dude is banning government licensing of hetero marriage. And the majority opinion will be read with whistle and strobe light accompaniment. And Cher.

The Station Manager

[re=33330]2goats[/re]: Once, yes. I have met one straight guy named Troy. But in his defense, he was hopelessly ugly.

I see that Paige through him out. Now he’s living in his Troyota Priam.

wallythepug

My gaydar went off just looking at that photo. FAAAAABULOUS!

problemwithcaring

[re=33343]bmannes[/re]: In hindsight, such an obvious Beard…

Servo

“When he’s finished, I want to hear you say ‘Ooo, what a lovely tea party'”.

Merkin

Is the sex aide hot at least? That is the only way I can get myself care about another Republican sex scandal.

Q2

To paraphrase the foundation of our country: “…all persons are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights…” So when was it determined that homos are not people?

GlennBecksTaint

Are there any straight Republicans?

Eliz17

Paging several Southern governors and Senators…

sanantonerose

I’m sure this wacky sitcom idea has been floated at a meeting somewhere with somepeople. Never would be as funny as Three’s Company, though.

Godless Liberal *

Why couldn’t this have happened to Jeff Sessions?

sanantonerose

[re=33465]RooseveltFranklin[/re]: Haaaaaaaw!

sanantonerose

[re=33510]Servo[/re]: Hawwwwww haaaaawwww!

Godless Liberal *

WAIT. Something from Locust Fork was sourced in another news story, ever? Fuck, people, have any of you ever been to Locust Fork? I grew up near there, and it is exactly what you would expect a place called Locust Fork to be.

shortsshortsshorts

[re=33568]Godless Liberal *[/re]: A plague?

ShortShadey

What is it with these whiteys and their ridiculous, made-up names for their kids nowadays? Briggs? Colden? Asher? What was the next one gonna be? Dickenzie?

Neilist

Why do I always end up feeling sorry for wife?

When she’s probably a stone-cold bitch who closed her eyes to the obvious signs, and supported the hypocritical, bigoted ravings of her conservative “husband”?

Fuck the kids, too. They’re probably little “Spunkwads of the Old Wank,” if you know what I mean.

Fata Morgana

[re=33486]gurukalehuru[/re]:

Particularly Asher. Asher King sounds like the owner of a used bookstore- you know, the kind that has blue hair, Edith Head glasses, and wears cravats.

KTHXBAI

[re=33301]HomoPolitico[/re]: Hell yeah. Maybe I should start voting Republican so I can tap some young’uns.

SocialList

I used to live in Baldwin County(which by the way,is where the Rethugs pretty much openly stole Don Seigleman’s job).Anyway,I worked across the street from an adult “book” store(why are they always called “book stores”),that Troy and his butt buddies use to love to raid approximately every three weeks(I guess because it was in a tourist area),in order to save us all from the evils of black,vibrating dildoes.And yes,he’s every bit as fucking creepy in person as his photo would lead you to believe.He came in the Restaurant i was managing(the Oasis on Wilcox RD.,next to I-10 after one such raid.He spent the next two hours signing autographs fpr the local baptists and checking out the work release guys that worked in the kitchen.

sricki

The irony is really quite delightful, and this is especially enjoyable since I’m from AL. The only thing which could make this completely perfect would be to find out that he and his gay lover were using **gasp** sex toys!

Advocatus_Diaboli

[re=33425]Doglessliberal[/re]: Dan Savage is peeing himself with glee.

Michael Savage, on the other hand, after getting ass-fucked himself by the sex slave he hates to love, will figure out a way only his own twisted logic could ever understand to blame this on Obama.

shortsshortsshorts

Birds and the Bees should be rewritten…
“You see, when a man and another man love each other very much, one of the men becomes a Republican and persecutes the other.”

Stupid fuckers. All of them. I know it’s stating the obvious, but why would or should anyone care about what someone else does to get off? (short of rape and pedophilia, natch) All animals are wired to want to get off; yet this country continues to pretend that getting off is somehow wrong.

(slinks back to his avocado-colored kitchen through the shag-carpeted rec room)

American Dreamer

The one good thing that will come out of all of this is that Attorney General King will be able to start using his real name when posting comments on wonkette instead of his profile name (shortshortshorts)

SocialList

[re=33629]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: You’re missing the point entirely.When some idiot runs around screaming that gays are evil incarnate for years and years,then gets caught getting the back of his ballsac being repeatedly slapped by the front of another man’s ballsac,everybody should care that hypocritical fuck is run out of town on a rail.

kudzu

This is so much fun. I can never get tired of bigoted Repugs being caught taking it deep in the ass.

And how many times am I supposed to explain this to you people: it’s not Gay if all you do is engage in Fisting, Felching, Rimming, Ball Licking, Cum Swapping/Snow Balling, Foot Worship, Ass Play with a giant Black Butt Plug and nipple play. It can only be Gay if you get caught. Or kiss on the mouth.

Gormogon

[re=33496]Outstando[/re]: At least Troy got it up enough to impregnate his wife. Roberts had to adopt.

Gormogon

Check this out — he rewrote and recorded/mashed-up (!) an incomplete Johnny Cash (!) duet and changed the lyrics from a normal hetero love song to a Brokeback type thing!!!

————–In the notes on the CD, King explained that he set out to transform the song from a love song to a “ballad of brotherhood and friendship.” He said he retreated in November to a recording studio in Montgomery with his new lyrics, the Cash vocals, and “friends and fellow musical conspirators.”

Gormogon

[re=33402]Guppy06[/re]: Run it like the dead pool on howard stern.

gurukalehuru

I’m thinking Colden is maybe because he had to read Catcher in the Rye in college, and he screwed up the name.

zhubajie

[re=33320]Dave J.[/re]: Doesn’t he know that these bracelets are prototypes for the MARK OF THE BEAST???

Gormogon

[re=33667]zhubajie[/re]: He’s Satan.

zhubajie

[re=33586]Neilist[/re]: are you sure he’s the father?

VenjaminJenkman

I misread the gay sexee to be named Bonus, which is a great porn name. Of couse, I happen to be drunk. It’s better than being a repressed hypocrit, but I still plead guilty.

Mr-Clark

Ken Layne,

I’ll bet the Attorney General was the bottom. He looks like he prefers to take it raw.

Sincerely and respectfully,

Mr-Clark

Outstando

[re=33659]Gormogon[/re]: Sure, his wife conceived, but you can’t swing a rainbow-filled handbag in Montgomery without hitting a T.G.I. Fridays.

Mahatma Froglegs

[re=33470]LorettaNall[/re]: To the tune of Soft Cell’s “Sex Dwarf”-

Isn’t it nice
Prosecutin’ vice
Putting homos back in closets
Where I get myself a slice
I could raid adult bookshops
And wear a tin star
You’d be a natural
The way you are
I would like you
in place of my spouse
I would serve you on all fours
In our empty house.
You’ve got the motion
You’ve got the meat
Use me like a piggy
Fuck me big ol’prom king
We could play a scene
You could make me scream
Avoiding the headlines
Sounds like a dream
When the beard is away
Hit the YMCA, with the astroglide
Homecoming King will take me
For a ride of rides
I sure love your
Meatheaded ways
You know what they say
About small-town boys
I’m mounting my wife now
Look she’s so huge
She’s big and she’s crass
I’d rather do my chauffeur
Looking to procure
Isn’t it nice
Speaking out on vice
Busting poor store clerks
For selling naughty dice
I could seize some latex
And dress you like a gimp
You’d be a natural
Glossy sex blimp
I would like you
when my wife’s out of town
I would like it if you pinned me down
Homecoming King
You’ve got the johnson
You’ve got the fisting power
Hump me like a doggy
Hump your smarmy sex toy
We could be obscene
Who’d ever dream
That when the office door is closed
I’m lapping up your cream
Wrestling on the floor, begging you for more
No warrant’s needed to cuff this whore
You will take me
For a ride of rides
They all love your
cleanliving ways
You know what they say
About college boys…

TGY

Republicans hate themselves SO much.

gurukalehuru

@gormogon A boy named Troy?

Mahousu

This is all so overblown, er, or something. Troy was just conducting opposition research.

AfghanVet

Hey, everyone knows you are not gay if A) you don’t look down or B) don’t back up.

for some reason, the dude’s 2004 swearing-in speech — the one where he pledges that “Our watchword must be fidelity – fidelity to the law, fidelity to those we serve, fidelity to our traditions and beliefs…That it will be” — is particularly hilarious now, on a variety of levels:

It’s Friday morning, and this story has nearly 37,000 hits. Is that a record for Wonkette? Of course, we’re not talking unique hits here, so I’m guessing about half of that 37,000 came from a group of 20 or so guys who were exchanging song parodies and trading snark (of which I heartily approve).

Empress of Snarkistan

WTF, while I was writing the count jumped to 38,198! Let’s go for the record!

Er, what is the record, Ken?

S.Luggo

[re=33802]sleepy[/re]: “fidelity to our traditions”. Is man love in Alabama a tradition or a custom?

nbawriter

His wife looks like a dude in a muumuu.

queeraselvis v 2.0

Just checking. Yep. He’s still gayer than a box of birds.

DangerousLiberal

I just did a Google news search on this story, and all I get are links to Wonkette and other snark blogs. Where’s the MSM on this? Probably doing a buncha coke and snickering at ways they can get away with talking about Obama’s nutsack on TV.

BobLoblawLawBlog

I just Googled Troy King and got both his Wikipedia page and Priam’s. Is Google trying to tell me that the Trojans were a bunch of closeted buttsecks fiends? Was the war with the Greeks really just a catfight? Cause, if so, that whole “What a lovely horse sculpture! I simply must have it!” thing makes much more sense.

PhxJustice

I am guessing that the good Attorney General of Alabama never heard the political phrase “There are two rules in politics: 1) Never get caught with a live boy in your bed. 2) Never get caught with a dead girl in your bed”.

Bob Kincaid

Lordy, Loretta! They named their daughter “Colden?” After what? “Ah jes’ know Ah’m gonna need a Colden or 12 to get through this ‘Union of one man and one woman business’,” or “Asher,” from the biblical “Asher wish I din’t hafta sleep with this big ol’ woman to keep folks from knowin’ I’m gay.”

Isn’t this behavior wrong? Why is this guy trying to circumnavigate around laws instituded to protect marriage of one man and one woman? Why does this married man do these adulterous, sinful attacks on his own normal, heterosexual, one man, one woman marriage? Isn’t having certain rights available on account one has a normal sexuality, within marriage, of one man and one woman? Hypocrites saying and doing two different things. outside the normal one man, one woman marriage.