Dopey Outside Fun...or...not so fun!?!?!

My eye has been buggin me lots lately and I been closin it and stuff...so lauren finally decided today to clean out my eye boogerz....u know that brown crust stuffs i get in ma eye. So she picks it off with her nail and then...

...WARNING: DO NOT READ ON IF SQUEEMISH...

...then all this yellowish greenish whiteish puss oozed outta the inside corner of my right eye...so lauren freakeded out and called tha vet...mt. lore animal hospital in southington, ct. and they told her to bring me right in...then she started lookin...so she was in the closet for a long time...out came a shovel...some boxes...lots of blankets...a vaccuum...and like 10 winter coats...i layed on da coat...da nicest one. then lauren finally found my carrier. so i got in it. cause it looked like a box and i am infatuated wit boxes. so then ZZZIIIIPPP goes the cover and im locked it. Hewlp! Hewlp! What? Now I gotta go byebye in da car! oh no not da car! so we hops in and i cry and cry and cry and try to claw my way out for the next 20 mins til we gets to tha vet. we's go in dare and den dere was some dawgs. eww. dawgs. i wasnt too ascared cuz they was big dummies. cept then came in this dawg named remie and he was oooglie! yuk! so den we waited and got called to go into the room. there was a table and they weighed me. i am 10.9lbs. yay! fattyboy me! so then lauren picked me up like a baby and thought it would be fun to climb over her shoulder and onto her back...haha! so now lauren's bent over the table trying to get me off and i just layed on her butt. haha take me byebyes in da car and see what happens!! so she tries to stand up and i claws her back bad. (heh) den i got down and we waited. i layed patiently on her lap...i think she wuz nerbous. so den tha doc cums in and tells me dat i got conjuntivitis and then she puts green dye inna my eye and looked in it wit a lite to see if my cornea was scratched. it wasn't...i wish i coulda just told her dat and it wouldnta costeded like 90 dollars?! den doc showed lauren how to puts a cream (antibiotic) into my eye and now she gots to do it three times a day. all dat stuff be comin outs my nose now. eww. so den lauren paid da hun-red dollars and i sittin in the waitin room chair in my carrier. here comes dat dam remie dawg. so he tries to come up and sniff me and i went all pyscho-kitty on his ass and spazmed in my carrier and hiss-ed and spit-ed at him. lauren moved me. den we wents bye bye in da car again...dey should make lauren get one of doze "how's muh driving? call 1-800-crasher" sticker on her car. she dwives like a maniac!! so i cries all da ways home and den i got home and did seepy-seeps on da flo. now i is napping...somewhere...LONG DAY...nite nite folks!!

Today is Monday 7-7-08. Weird date. It was muggy as heck outside and all my long fur's been gettin all clumpy. Perils of living in a condo complex: everyone hates me! Anyways I'm outside just chillin, roamin around...My human Marilyn didn't get home from work yet as it was around 6pm and the other human, Lauren, told me she was just goin to Staples and Radio Shack and she'd be back "quick quick like a bunny". So I was just roamin around in the parkin lot tryna catch some shade underneath some cars and the normal neighborhood peeps were outside chattin up a storm: Charlie my catnip provider, his wife Debbie who pets me nice, and my arch enemy Andrea the evil witch from heck!! She always yells at me "GET AWAY GET AWAY I'LL KILL YOU"...she is sooo mean and she doesn't like cats. what's da matta wit her huh? So anyways they're out there and Andrea's car is out infront of my house and something got into me and I thought, "I know it'll piss her off bigtime if I jump on her car...she might even get off her fat butt and waddle over flailing her arms in the air and yellin "get the **** outta her get down ahhhhhh!!" and cuz lauren and marilyn weren't home i was like, "aww hell i might as well!!" so i shake my butt a little and jump up onto it...hehehe...here she comes! "RAAAAAAHHH WHAWAWAWA!!" like a maniac! So then Lauren comes home and now I'm hidin in the bush and I cried and cried for her to let me in so evil Andrea wouldn't kill me like she said she was gonna. So Lauren lets me in and I goes to take a nap....zzzzzz....
....in the MEANTIME...Lauren walks down to see Debbie and Charlie and they say "Lauren, you better watch yourself cuz Andrea's on a rampage!!" So Lauren's like...yea...ok...whatever...Then Andrea gets back from takin out the garbage and she's FUMING! SCREAMING! SWEARING! SHAKING ALMOST CRYING!! It was crazy...she threatened to kill poor cute little me and told lauren that she has a piece of **** car and not a nice one like her and that's why lauren doesnt understand...whatever lauren got a corsica and i been bye-bye in tha car in it and i like it! all this woman has is an altima! it's not a lexus or a benz!! this lady gotta take some chill pills and realize that me jumpin on her car is not that bad. if that's the worst thing that happened in her day, she oughta be thankful!! UNBELIEVEABLE! So yea...now lauren's mom marilyn is about to get involved and it sux for lauren cuz she goes to RI with debbie and charlie and andrea and now she don't wanna even go to tha beach wit them if that crazy big beast woman goes...Anyways...nite nite all...