“You know how bad my memory is.”
Really means….
“I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever
kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I’ve ever owned,
but I forgot your birthday.”

“I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.”
Really means….
“The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

“Football is a man’s game.”
Really means….
“Women are generally too smart to play it.”

“Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.”
Really means….
“I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I’m
hurt.”

“I do help around the house.”
Really means….
“I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.”