I Hate Everyone Involved with Hurricane Sandy’s Aftermath

Fuck FEMA

I’m not sure if this is about FEMA not giving out enough money to help people out, or society’s general inability to give a shit about the fellow man without calculating how much it costs to care and whether or not that price is worth extending a helping hand. There are people in the Rockaways who have no heat, hot water or electricity, who have been denied help by FEMA because the property owner, who is renting out the house to other families, doesn’t claim the place as his or her primary residence. Therefore, fuck whoever is living there.

Serrett Metalworks resides on the border of the Gowanus and Red Hook neighborhoods in Brooklyn and was completely flooded by the hurricane. A dumpster floated through the roll-down gate, destroying it. Machinery such as welders, metal cutters, saws and other miscellaneous tools were water-logged, rusted and washed away. Thousands of dollars worth of art in the art gallery section of the shop was swept into a pile of broken debris in the corner. Over $90,000 in damages were incurred during the storm, but since the shop “wasn’t in the disaster area,” FEMA denied them completely. The shop is run by a man named Joshua Young, who has dedicated his entire life to building a shop that was home not only to his own business, but opened its doors to local craftsmen and artists who needed a cheap place to work and create. Who cares? Not Steve Brule, and certainly not FEMA.

Fuck Whoever Tows Cars

I get it. You’re backed up towing a billion ruined, moldy cars and don’t have time to get to them all right away. That’s fine. Just stop telling me you’re coming tomorrow. There’s nothing worse than dragging your cancerous tumor of a dead car into the coveted parking spot in front of your house, waiting for hours on end for no one to show up, and then having to look even harder for a parking spot because your dead vehicle is taking up space on an already-crowded block. It’s no wonder I hate everyone involved with Hurricane Sandy’s aftermath.

This is pretty ‘first world problems’ status, but on top of fixing the entire first floor of a house and figuring out why the repairman isn’t showing up when he’s supposed to and hauling a flooded washer and dryer and fridge and oven out of the house and trying to throw out all the moldy furniture and get new clothing because all of yours is now 100% mold and trying to save all the family pictures that are half-ruined and replacing the internet and replacing the phones and replacing the heater and replacing the other heater and rewiring the electricity and making sure your elderly grandmother isn’t dying in her temporary home even though she’s miserable and talks about dying all the time and having people come to cart away all the toxic garbage and trying not to chug liters of sea water until death comes, it’s just one more thing that would be nice to not have to deal with right now. Just don’t say you’re coming if you are, indeed, not going to come.

Fuck Looters of Houses and Small Businesses

Really, guys? Come on. Loot Best Buy. Loot Target and Nike and Pathmark. Leave people’s houses and small businesses alone. The little guy is not your enemy and I would say “make the big guy suffer instead,” but the big guy won’t be suffering. One target among thousands is nothing to CEOs who have fucking spaceships and can shut down an entire amusement park with a day’s salary just so their family has it all to themselves for a few hours. The people who own places like Target could singlehandedly make life easier for a few hundred people who lost their houses, all without even noticing a dent in their bank accounts. But they won’t, because they don’t give a shit about you or anyone else unless you’re a dollar sign walking through their store.

Put a brick through every window at the mall. Don’t take it out on the guy who’s suffering just as much as you.

Fuck Kate Middleton’s Baby

This really has nothing to do with Sandy but I can’t believe that people are making CGI mockups of what her baby “might look like” by referencing the facial features of her and her husband. Why is this news? This isn’t news. I guess it’s my fault for reading The Daily Mail, but my brain actually hurts from trying to comprehend the idea that there are people out there who give a shit about some generic white lady’s baby and what it “might look like.”

Acute morning sickness? I think the technical term would be “Rich as Fuck and Living a Life With More Value Than Yours.” How many people are suffering from “Sandy Lung” or general illnesses in NYC and can’t afford to be seen by a doctor? Kate Middleton is nauseous and it makes headlines, whilst hundreds suffer silently because their net worth is the deciding factor regarding whether or not anyone cares if they live or die.

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