While browsing some old pics, i found one that i find to be a lot more representative (If you will) of me. I Mean, do i need to go into how there will always be some pics that are less flattering and some that are more flattering? Out of hundreds of pics, i usually only get a handful that i find to be “good pictures” of me. It really is as they say. You are your worst critic.I find that to fit for me, at least.

I feel i should mention this: http://my.chicagotribune.com/#section/544/article/p2p-77119036/ Formally “Bradly”, comes out as Chelsea Manning. It finally became official, after having been spread around as a rumor for a while.
I have no comments to her being trans.. I do have comments about what the government is doing to her though.

She only did the job of a journalist, and she’s being treated like a criminal because of it. She is a victim of a totalitarianism, much like how journalists are put in cells to rot, in third world countries.
Time will make her a hero, just like time made anyone who has ever fought and sacrificed themselves for freedom, truth and justice; a hero!

I hope that the American government never finds Edward Snowden. And a huge kudos to the Guardian and Glenn Greenwald for standing up to what can only be described as thugs abusing their power, like a bully goes against the weak kid at school! Time will pay homage to the actions of everyone fighting against the takeover of the American government!

I wrote to Jocelyn today, and i had an epiphany while writing. I don’t use this blog to write about my transgender issues anymore. I told as much to her, stating that when writing to her, i get a lot out of my system. Like me breaking the mirror, or feeling particularly dysphoric. It’s true though. I feel worse about myself than i have in quite some time. Like just this morning, when i had a shower. Sometimes, that can be a tough act to do. Especially when you’re in my position, where you can’t even look yourself in the mirror without feeling utter disappointment. That i won’t even dress the way i want to. To be who i am.

It’s not the easiest thing to write about, and it’s always nice to occupy my brain with fiction and escapism.. But i know that will just lead to even more depression. So where do i stand right now? Well, i’ve hyped a meeting i’ll get with some experts to the point where i feel that i will be let down by them.

I feel like kind of a wreck right now, to be honest. Sure, my anxiety problems has been getting much better, and i have been getting some stuff out to a person i see on a week to week basis. So things are happening. I just wish my month long wait to get an answer from the academic institute in upsala (Which is where it’s at) would come to an end. I’m so anxious to get to them and just spill my metaphorical guts at them. But.. In due time. I have to be patient.

In lighter news. Tried out the camera on my phone (filming-wise) today, and i have to say that i really like the quality. The sound seem to pick up pretty nicely too.
Oh, and google accepted a 360 panorama i took of an empty center in my town. Just follow this link Nexus 4 is one of the first google phones to have this feature built in. I must say that it ends up looking pretty good. It’s great software for sure.

I guess that’s all i really want to say right now. I had some more thoughts, but i really gotta get going. It’s almost time for my nightly midnight walks (It’s a little over 10pm at the moment).

Today

Went and got a bunch of new clothes today. It’s mostly gray. One new black scarf for the winter, one cute gray skirt with a gray and black tartan pattern (Might be a little too school girlish) A gray blazer with a nice line pattern, very much like tartan. A nice new black top and gray tights.

So a lot of gray. Here’s a new pic i took by the way:

Played a little borderlands, but spent most of the day outdoors doing little of anything. It’s been a fairly slow day.

Trying to think what else i’ve done. But that’s really it. Glad i managed to get a pic i liked though, and the new outfit is great! So i can’t say i feel too bad today.

Tomorrow

I’ll be going home again. Last day at my brother’s place today. It’s been pretty good actually. In less than a week, i’ll be going back to the expert again, and hopefully get some news on my transgender issues and the anxiety pills. So we’ll see how that works. Can’t wait though!!!