Pork Board Tenderizes ThinkGeek With Cease and Desist

Poor ThinkGeek. Between mounting pressure to develop the iCade and now this, it’s a wonder they bother to participate in April Fool’s Day at all.

If you were doing your internet thing this April 1st – and I certainly hope you were – you no doubt are privy to Canned Unicorn Meat, the “sparkling, crunchy, savory meat of today’s elite”. Seriously, I sat here for, like, three minutes trying to come up with a better description than that one, but let’s face it. There isn’t one.

Anyway, all is not well – the National Pork Board, owners of the slogan ‘the other white meat’, have issued ThinkGeek a cease and desist. Unicorn Meat is billed under the slogan ‘the new white meat’. The National Pork Board must not have a sense of humour.

Why is it that lawyers never seem to understand internet comedy when they see it? Surely by now, there are, like, workshops for that sort of thing. Either way, ThinkGeek is taking the whole ordeal in stride, stating: “We’d like to publicly apologize to the NPB for the confusion over unicorn and pork–and for their awkward extended pause on the phone after we had explained our unicorn meat doesn’t actually exist.”

Below is the first page of the (twelve-page) letter, in all its frowny-faced, no-nonsense glory.

Ty is an illustrator who stays up too late, and has to wear glasses. You can follow him on Twitter if you want to (@glitchritual), but he's just gonna throw your stupid PR crap in the garbage, so don't email him. SEE MORE ARTICLES BY "Ty Dunitz"