Saturday, January 26, 2013

I recently had the pleasure of observing true customer
service in action.I was at the spa
getting my hair done and an elderly lady, with a beautiful head of white hair,
was in a cozy gown, waiting for a massage.I’ll call her “Daisy”because she
reminded me of Jessica Tandy in Driving
Miss Daisy.

Because she was a little early and waiting for her
appointment, Diana at the front desk decided to spend the time chatting and
getting to know her better.Now she
could have done this from her desk, but no, she chose to come over, and bent
down so she was at eye-level with her, and proceeded to chat.

I couldn’t help but hear the conversation and it was
touching.They were talking about love
and how you have to grab it, no matter what your age,if you are fortunate enough to meet the right
person. It turns out that Daisy had got married for the first time at 67 and
she was congratulating Diana on her recent marriage at 54.

You could tell that the conversation meant a lot to both of
them, and before Daisy left for her appointment, she stroked Diana’s face in a
gentle and loving way.After she had
gone, I asked how old she was --- 92, and she’d only just moved into a senior’s
residence.

That small, touching moment made my day and I am positive it
did for both Daisy and Diana.In the
hustle and bustle of living our hectic lives, it was a lovely interlude;
emphasizing the need to reach out, and just spend a few moments sharing our
innermost thoughts – with friends or complete strangers.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

At our breakfast meetings, one participant gets to share a
challenge she is currently facing, and then we brainstorm solutions. So it was interesting this week that at both
the Toronto and Oakville breakfasts the challenges raised were the same - procrastination.

It was one that we could all identify with, as many of us
have been guilty of putting off something that is important but we don’t want
to do.

I remember years ago when I had a business coach I was
always very diligent about getting my “homework” done, except for this one
assignment.Ironically it was around
social media and after a few weeks of nothing being done, my coach challenged
me on why this was.

Bottom line it wasn’t something that interested me at the
time and being busy, I just relegated it to the bottom of my “to-do” list. I
also didn’t really know how to begin and questioned the value of embarking on
such a strategy.

Likewise, the women at our breakfasts were doing the
same.As we probed further, it became
clear that like me, this wasn’t an aspect of their business that turned their
crank, but they also knew it had to happen.

In my instance, we recognized that I didn’t have to be the
one to implement a social media campaign, I could contract it out or draw on
the expertise of others to make it happen. But sometimes when you are starting
out, that is just not an option, the budget just isn’t there.So what can you do?

The women in the group came up with lots of ideas, and here
are just some of their suggestions:

1.Book time in your calendar to get the work done.

2.If you are feeling overwhelmed, break down the
work involved into small, more manageable tasks

3.Eat your frog – make it something you tackle
first – so you start to make a dent in the work to be done.

4.Ask yourself why you are avoiding the task, and
if it has indeed, got to be done.

5.If it is not in your skill set, maybe barter
with someone else to get the work done.

6.In the case of producing a monthly newsletter,
collect information all month so that when it is time to pull it together, you
have the different components already at hand.

In my case, we set up a committee to come up with
recommendations on social media, and later I got a grant to hire someone to
implement it.Today, social media is
something I have not only embraced but am an active player, which just goes to
show that once you get over your fear of the unknown, and welcome the chance to
learn new skills, you can change your mind.You just have to be open to the opportunity.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

As I read about Arlene Dickinson’s first audition
for Dragon’s Den in her book Persuasion, I am reminded that I too,
had a similar opportunity for fame and fortune on television, but the outcome
was quite different.

I’d been gaining a name as a parenting expert – my kids can
chuckle at that one – and was asked if I would like to host a parenting TV show
that was to be aired in the afternoon. I got invited for an interview which I naively
thought would just be your standard question-answer type meeting.Little did I know that this would be an
actual audition.

For a start the “interview” was right across Toronto and a
fair drive for me, which for those of you who know my fear of driving in the
city, was a big deal.So I didn’t
exactly arrive all relaxed and raring to go, more frazzled and exhausted by the
energy it took to just get there.

Immediately I was ushered into a studio where I was
presented with a script that I was expected to learn and spew out when my turn
came.As I looked around, it was like
Barbie goes for an audition.I was
surrounded by these young things, actresses, all ready to strut their stuff and
for whom the line-learning was a breeze.Even back then my short-term memory was a challenge.

Anyway, getting more nervous by the minute, it was soon my
turn, and that was when the fun began.I
can’t remember the actual case scenario that we were to talk about in the
taping but the script was lame, to say the least, and not at all what a mom
would do or say.

So being the “expert” I was supposed to be, I felt compelled
to tell them that.In the end they let
me be taped with my own script of how I thought it should be.

Did I get the “role”?No.

Did I get asked to rewrite the script? No.

By this point, I was past caring, after all I had the drive
home to worry about. I had already
decided that I was not destined for a life under the bright lights, and with
menopause just around the corner, maybe that was just as well. I would have been
too hot to handle.

Friday, January 04, 2013

I am starting off 2013 with a couple of bold steps outside
of my comfort zone and am encouraging you to do the same. As Frederick Wilcox
said “Progress
always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on
first.”

First over the holidays I signed up for an online writing
course.I know… I have been blogging for years but we
can all learn and deepen our skills and that was what I was keen to do. Plus
I’ve never taken a formal writing course.

Now I am still on module one and writing furiously every day
to submit my assignments, but it is not so much the writing that is a stretch,
but the willingness to sit back and let others critique what I’ve written - now
that is the brave part for me.I am
feeling quite naked as I bare my soul and write about personal stuff.

It’s funny though as the others submit their work, I find
myself more wrapped up in their problems and trying to solve them, rather than actually
reviewing their writing style.I’ve
also come to recognize that I have a ways to go in revealing all, as some of
the emotions expressed by the others are so raw and the situations so
serious.It makes me pretty grateful for
all that I have.

My second foray into the brave unknown is that I have joined
a mastermind group. Now I have been in one before and can thoroughly recommend
the process as one that makes you become more accountable and helps you move
forward.And I’ve also recommended that
people check their egos at the door and maybe that is more where I am
struggling.

Thing is, I basically know what I need to do, I just don’t
have a forte or interest in doing it, so I am bound to get my knuckles
wrapped.It’s like I am setting myself
up for the lecture, but then, maybe I need to hear it.

I know we will be talking about our challenges and I have
difficulty “doing vulnerable” but I also know that in order to grow,
professionally and personally, I have to be prepared to listen to some hard
truths.

So what can you do to go beyond your comfort zone?Perhaps join our mastermind or newbie groups,
take a course, learn a new skill or volunteer. When you stretch yourself, it’s
like flexing a new muscle when you work out, gradually it feels quite normal
and the pain is gone, and you are ready to try something more difficult.Maybe.

All I know is that my brain is on overdrive as I try to
grapple with all this new learning but it feels good. Try it and see for
yourself.

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

The start of a new year is an opportunity to wipe the slate
clean and start afresh, but as I reflect on 2012, I can see that I need to
re-evaluate my attitude, expectations and measures of success.

Last year I started the year in a funk, not feeling well,
and fed up with myself, with being sick and frankly with running my business. Being in martyr mode, I felt people did not
appreciate my efforts and I was burning out. Fast.

Fortunately I gave myself a shake, and got my mojo back.
Now, it is a different picture. I am well, feeling positive and the outlook is too.Your attitude truly does determine your
altitude.

But too often I have let other people’s attitudes and
behaviour negatively impact and disappoint me. Sometimes people act and react
in a way that seems dismissive, rejecting, or unethical but I am learning that
while I may take it personally, so often it is nothing to do with me at all. As
one wise person said “Just because you
feel it, doesn’t mean it’s true.”

What was true for me was the demise of my magazine, Company,
which I’d been struggling to make financially viable. With the changes in the
economy, the number of advertisers were dwindling.Yet, I carried on in blind faith, hoping that
a financial miracle would turn it around.Eventually sanity prevailed and I pulled the plug, and while it felt
like failure at the time, I have come to appreciate that publishing a professional
magazine for four years is a success.

So often we undervalue or don’t celebrate our successes, so
in September when Company of Women turned ten, we held a birthday party,
showing a video that captured the highlights of the past nine years. It made me
realize how far we have come and that we need to celebrate each success, no
matter how small.

Part of it is to avoid the numbers game.As someone who puts on events, it can be all
too easy to get caught up in measuring success by the number of people who
attend, yet if what you are offering makes a difference for just one person, it
is worthwhile.

And so as I move forward in 2013 I want to redefine what
success means to me. It is more that we have a positive impact, helping women
realize their potential and we make a difference.

About Me

Originally from Scotland, I emigrated to Canada over 30 years ago. I've had an eclectic career from running non-profit organizations, working for government on women's issues, to being editor of a magazine.

For past ten years have been running Company of Women, an organization that supports and connects women entrepreneurs.