A woman embarks upon a relentless pursuit of her dreams... these are her "letters from the inside."

Monday, September 9, 2013

(Un)Limited Time Offer

Okay... it is time to divulge some seriously embarrassing personal information. I've considered long and hard whether or not to tell you this, but today I woke up and thought that after two months of reading my blog every day... You've EARNED this juicy bite-sized morsel of autobiography. Don't worry, you can thank me later.
Once upon a time, I used to be a Vampire Slayer, a Warrior Princess and a Crime Scene Detective. (See... I told you it was pretty juicy). That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am a certified badass. Or at least, I used to be.

I am pretty sure it was around the fourth or fifth grade when I took up secret training in the backyard of my childhood home. I understood the risk of ever being found out, so I would pack up some snacks in a backpack and a few good pieces of wood and I'd set out on my own for a couple hours.

Since Vampires were actually a little scarce in my neck of the woods, I practiced my spear throwing at an old, dried up Christmas tree that was out by our horse barn.

I would practice doing flips and kicks while trowing these spears hard into the tree (aka "vampire"). When it occurred to me one day that vampires didn't seem to be as big a threat as my fellow man, I turned in my cross and wooden spears for a horse and a sword and deemed myself a warrior princess. It seemed to be a natural progression for a slayer like me, and I rather enjoyed my newly regal warrior status.

I would take off on horseback and gallop up the side of the mountain just looking for a villager to rescue. I spent a long winter scouring the valley for a battle or a villain, but never really found one. And after months and months of this exhausting search and rescue effort, I decided to retire my sword.

Hmmm what role shall I play now???
There was a rather famous person on trial for murder at the time, and so I thought it best to try my hand at investigation. I was already a skilled tracker and was not afraid of vampires, so how bad could a little detective work be??

I donned a white robe, I mean,a "lab coat" and went to work on the case. It was a tireless effort of checking under the microscope and examining all the evidence. And after all my efforts, and the glove didn't fit the suspect, well then I figured I ought to turn in my lab coat for my homework anyway. After all, I was going to be in the seventh grade soon, and I knew my crime fighting days were numbered...

Or were they??
By the time I was twelve years old, I was already a skilled rider, spear thrower, and investigator; why should I give up on all these remarkable skills??

I suppose I just assumed that the days of make believe were a luxury I couldn't afford in the years ahead. And in a way, I was sort of right.

To me, playing my hand at the imaginary mellow dramas of the 90s was just not a practical pursuit later on in life. It was as if playing these various roles had a limited time offer.

I almost believed that nonsense to be true; that I would someday have to give up on the thing I loved the most... storytelling. Until one day, when I looked at myself in the mirror and made a decision. I decided that if I had the discipline to practice my hand at all these roles each and every day after school, perhaps I could also be disciplined enough to never give up on my imagination.

I was correct that in some ways, life as a storyteller was a luxury I couldn't afford. That is, if I wanted everything that my peers could afford. Classmates and friends have accumulated many things that I would surely enjoy: a house, a brand new car, a consistent paycheck. Sure, those things would be nice.

But the day that I looked in the mirror and could still see myself as a warrior, a slayer and a street smart investigator, what I really saw was an Unlimited Time Offer.

And I made a decision to do what I love, no matter the cost.

Sure, sometimes I feel kind of like a loser. To be perfectly honest, life as a storyteller isn't the most glamorous when compared to say, an Architect, Engineer, Doctor or Real Estate Tycoon. But when I am faced with a severe care of "the flunkies", as I have dubbed it years ago, I can't help but remember the girl who felt like an indestructible BADASS circa 1995.

And it is the very spark I need to keep the fire ignited.

It is a choice. I could either DOwhat I love or I could have the things I enjoy. And what I have come to grips with is that as long as my imagination remains intact and I have the simple company of a few friends and readers... I actually have everything I need at this point in time. And I am happy enough with that.

When you are passionate about something, well I believe that passion is to be honored. Because passion and ability are God given gifts, not limited time offers.

So, if I have to imagine myself as the warrior, a servant, or the brave and fearless explorer... well then guess what; that is exactly what I shall do in order to press on and honor the Unlimited Offer of unlimited imagination.

It doesn't get much juicier than that!

Ok, now you can thank me... For you see, I am a fool for you; my friends on the other side of the page, the screen, and theater seats. And to be honest, I don't see that offer expiring any time soon.