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Snakes in the Grass

Submitted by BowieCCT1 on Fri, 07/28/2017 - 1:20pm

Snakes are everywhere. It really does seem like it nowadays. Everywhere you turn it seems you have to be careful for snakes. They can leap out at you in an instant and spew their venom through their nasty fangs and inflict their pain before you even see them coming.
Around these parts you have the usual like rattlesnakes, copperheads, water mocassins, dirty dealers, liars and thieves.
Wait. What?
Yes’m, there are a lot more snakes in our lives than those that slither on the ground, but both the slithering kind and those that walk on two legs are just as poisonous. Both are just as sneaky too.
The difference is, when we step on a rattlesnake on our back porch, or blow it in half with a shotgun, we like to post a picture to social media and let everybody know. When the two-legged snake rears its head and shows itself, we usually keep it to ourselves, walk the other way and try not to stir the nest. Heaven forbid we wake the beast and make the rest of the snakes come out of hiding as well.
The thing is, when I encounter a snake, either kind, I like to make sure I do whatever it takes to make sure he doesn’t have the chance to bite anyone else.
Long ago, when my kids were little, we lived in a house outside of Avery, out in the country ya know, and it was surrounded by cattle pastures, old ponds, lots of places for a snake to hide. One night as my wife and I were lying in bed, she jabbed me and told me there was a snake coming down out of the ceiling.
Our bedroom as an add-on to a mobile home, and where the two were joined, sure enough, there was an old cotton mouth hanging down out of a crack. He was just hanging there. What ensued next is one of the funniest stories in our family’s history.
I dove under the snake, got into the kitchen, and commenced to going after that snake with first a butcher knife, then a frying pan, then a hammer and so on, all the while the snake was less than amused.
When he fell onto the carpeted floor of our bedroom and went to hide behind the TV, I decided it was time to get serious. Next came the shotgun. Suffice to say, after four blasts, three holes in the floor, and one in the wall, there was a dead snake.
All the while this was going on, our toddler son was asleep in the next room, and he never even rolled over or gave any indication that he heard a sound. To him, that snake was not a worry at all. In our room however, there wasn’t going to be a lot of sleep that night. What if the first one had a brother?
Despite my efforts to fill that hole, board it up, fill it with spackle, and spray foam, me and the Mrs. could not stop watching the doorway for a companion. And such was the case for many, many nights after.
Snakes are everywhere. Whether you are always watching for them, or completely unaware as my toddler son was, they are there and ready to strike. The slithering form can inflict a lot of pain and even kill ya, but the two-legged kind can too.
In fact, we may go our whole life without ever being bit by a snake’s fangs, but the kind that walk upright get us all. Sadly, they strike far too often.
They can be hiding in an elected position and shooting their poison into laws and mandates that hurt our teachers and our schools, they can be hiding in positions of authority locally where they spew their venom into our communities in the form of vile rumors, bigotry, hatespeak and debauchery, or they can be shaking our hands pretending to be our friends all the while waiting to strike.
The coolest thing is that both kinds of snake bites have a cure.
If you get bit by a rattlesnake, you can rush to a doctor and a shot will keep you alive. You might be a little sick and sore for a while, but you will live.
The same holds true for the two-legged snake bite. You can go to the doctor, the Great Physician, and he has a cure for the venom that is running through your veins after a snake jumps out of the grass and tries to harm your life. He has a Book, that is filled with cures for all kinds of venom and yes, you might be sore for a while, but you will not die.
In fact, the cures from the Good Book might make you feel even better than before and give you the insight to keep a better watchful eye out for the snakes in our lives that walk around on two legs.
I was always told the best thing to do with a snake is to leave it alone, walk away, and let it be. Personally, I have always liked blowing their heads off better. In fact, loading my “gun” with a few shells right now. Watch out snakes, here I come.