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Okay so I have been trying the 180 lately and it's been tough for me to stick to it but I have. It's 26 days after dday But now my husband is saying the I am acting like a "dick" and that he feels like I don't appreciate anything he does for me. Idk if I should stop or just keep trying?

D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 23 his age:27
One wonderful son together

Posts: 90 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California

Jrazz♀ 31349Member # 31349

Posted: 12:41 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014

Reserving emotional reactions sometimes brings this out in people... but wow. Calling you a "dick"?? If you needed any indication that you need to detach emotionally from him, that would be it. You can be polite to him without serving him cookies and wiping his bottom.

Do the 180 to protect yourself. He's either going to be startled into treating you with more respect, or he's going to spiral into selfishness. Either way, you are doing this to protect your heart and gather your strength.

Regarding your seeming lack of "appreciation" - what exactly is he doing right now that he feels he's earned that? It IS good to indicate when we appreciate the work that our WS is doing, but if he wants you to fawn over things like taking out the garbage or NOT going out to a bar for one night, he's not really in the program.

(((EB1541)))

"It is impossible to get a man to understand something if his livelihood depends on him not understanding." - Upton Sinclair

Posts: 23914 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California

EB1541♀ 42143Member # 42143

Posted: 12:54 PM, January 28th (Tuesday), 2014

Thank you Jrazz! You are right I need to keep doing the 180 to protect myself.

But he says I don't appreciate that he's "trying." He's SAYS I can see his phone or ask him questions whenever I want. But when I actually ask he gets agitated with me. And it's funny you mentioned taking out the garbage because he brought that up yesterday LOL. That was the first time he did in months and I he only did it because I asked and my knee is dislocated right now. But other than than he hasn't done anything... He expects me to constantly thank him for working.. I think he is just acting like a baby. And he is very selfish and it's been showing more lately.

D-day Jan. 2, 2014
Just married Nov. 3, 2013
My age: 23 his age:27
One wonderful son together