How Juliet’s Wedding In 'Love Actually' Influences Almost Every Other Storyline In The Holiday Film

If you're like me and obsess over Love Actually every holiday season, then you probably have your own slew of theories about the film. There are plenty out there. But here is one that may have not yet occurred to you yet. It goes like this: Juliet’s crappy wedding is basically the catalyst for over half the storylines in the film. Because, think about it, if her wedding hadn’t sucked so much, most of the things that happen in the movie wouldn’t have ever happened. As impressive as the flash band may have seemed in the catherdral, the rest of the wedding turned out to be a bloody nightmare. The food sucked, the DJ was the worst in the world, and the video of the entire thing came out all wobbly, as Juliet reported.

Clearly there were some serious missteps in hiring vendors for this occasion.

Granted, the theory doesn’t stretch across all storylines (some, like Billy Mack and Joe are completely separate from the rest), but a large number of them are in some way affected by Juliet and Peter’s crappy wedding. Which I guess is as much motivation as anyone would need to pick the right caterer at his or her own shindig, but it could also serve as a reminder that these things don’t really matter. Because in Love Actually a number of the romances spark over the terrible vendors Juliet and Peter hire for their otherwise lovely wedding.

So, behold: A ranking of Love Actually storylines in the order in which they are created and/or affected by Juliet and Peter’s lousy wedding.

6. Harry Gets All Inappropriate With Mia

This one is definitely the biggest stretch, but I've always wondered if Harry was somewhat inspired by Sarah's crush on Karl to act on his feelings for Mia. Is it the newness and excitement of an office crush that he longs for more than Mia herself? If so, he might just be inspired by Sarah’s crush, which may or may not have been sparked by Juliet's wedding and the "strike while the iron is hot" conversation she had with Mark over the terrible DJ (see below). Does seeing Sarah act on her novel feelings for her office crush inspire Harry to pursue a torrid relationship with Mia even though he is married?

5. Sarah Goes After Karl

I can only imagine that Sarah was in some way inspired by her conversation with Mark, when she urges him to open up about loving Juliet, because at the next party, she agrees to dance with Karl and winds up taking him home. There are other things prodding her, too, like her boss who confronts her about her very obvious crush, but we all know how a wedding can make us feel all vulnerable and willing to put ourselves on the line. All thanks to the worst DJ in the world.

4. Jamie Finds Out His Girlfriend Is Cheating On Him

Only because he leaves the wedding before the party. Why? This might be a bit of a stretch, but given everything else that had been god awful about the wedding, there’s a chance he left to save himself the misery of Juliet’s terrible wedding.

3. Mark Tells Juliet He Loves Her

But only after Laura Linney convinces him he should during their discussion about the bad DJ. This conversation would have never happened had the DJ not sucked in the first place, sure, but there also would have been no card stock with romantic messages written on them. Sad face.

2. Juliet Realizes Mark Loves Her

Mark’s hand is kind of forced, really when Juliet pushes her way into his apartment to watch his videos of her wedding. Why? Because her wedding videos sucked. Pretty brutal, right? Still, it’s only because she had the terrible wedding video that she discovers Mark’s true feelings for her in the first place.

1. Colin Goes To America

After telling the caterer her food is terrible, Colin decides once and for all that he is going to go to America. Had the food at Juliet’s wedding not been terrible, he wouldn’t have had that embarrassing situation, and he may have never gone to that wonderful, wonderful land called Wisconsin.

If all this drama doesn’t inspire you to think twice before hiring vendors for your wedding, I don’t know what will.