Vikings to Meet with Tomlinson on Thursday in an Attempt to Become Ancient

The Minnesota Vikings are preparing to meet with LaDanian Tomlinson (recently dropped by the Chargers) on Thursday in an attempt to persuade him to move from the beaches and babes of SoCal to the frozen wastelands of the north known for their wampa ice beasts and operatic valkyries.

Tomlinson, who is 30 years old (or roughly 65 years old in RB years), has been battling injuries for the last two seasons and proving more and more each year that there really is only one LT. However, could this move to the north by a rejuvenating factor for his career?

One might think that the cold air would be too much for his old bones, but Brett Favre (age 40 or 1 million in QB years) thinks otherwise saying, “It’s like living in a cryo chamber. You can stay young forever! But that doesn’t mean I’ll be coming back to play next year…necessarily.”

With the acquisition of Tomlinson, the Vikings would be moving in the right direction towards making their team really fucking ancient. When asked to comment on this questionable tactic, Childress replied, “Eh!? Could you speak into my good ear?”