Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

•Bosh sat out, but LeBron returned in an overtime loss to the Hawks. That's what happens when two players score 61 of your 89 points. I don't think James was 100 percent, as only Kobe regularly puts up 11-for-30 nights when healthy.

•Lance Armstrong says he has "nothing to worry about" from yesterday's SI allegations. Well, of course not. He's rich, famous, and even plowed Kate Hudson for a while there. So yeah, even if everything's true, I don't think he's too bothered.

•Milton Bradley was arrested in Los Angeles yesterday, for making threats to a female acquaintance. He's out on bail, and it's going to be tough for the M's to void his contract, unless it has specific language about felony convictions. Knowing Bradley, one would hope it does.

•You think you embarrassed yourself in fantasy football (no, really, this was going to be the year Laurence Maroney finally put it together)? One Omahan finished last, and as part of his league's rules, had to get a little pink unicorn tattoo. Seems fair.