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“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;make me a fork, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Sunday, October 28, 2012

As Simple As A Bar Of Chocolate...

I was reminded today that I am sensitive.
It was a day when I couldn't stop the tears.
Just feelings overwhelming.
So, I went into hiding so that I could hide the red puffy eyes.

Again, struggling with the fact that I am sensitive.
Perhaps over-sensitive.
Too sensitive.
Unwarranted sensitive.
And I feel guilty about it.
Almost a little shamed over it.

And I ask my heavenly Father,
could he have made me a little less sensitive?
Just a little less sensitive?
And He says, no.
And He made me as I am for a reason.
He wants me sensitive for a reason.

And although my super-sized sensitivity causes the water works.
It also causes me to be sensitive to others.
To feel things.
For my benefit.
For their benefit.
Because that is how God made me.

And reminded me of this post I wrote a few years ago.

Originally posted on Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Not a surprise to most of you... I am a thinker. Analytical. It's quite frustrating actually. Can't just let things go, can I?

And yet... I am a relater, too. And have this horrible habit of wanting everyone to like me.

Mush these two things together... and I am told that I can be intimidating. Or as another friend told me... "Intense, but I don't mean that in a bad way."

Intense? Me? What did she mean? I wondered all evening. Of course, not taking it personally. (Who me?) Another friend who had been part of our conversation called me the next morning and told me perhaps it was more defined by "thorough" or "in-depth"...

And then I had an epiphany. I happened to look down at a bar of chocolate that I had purchased for Anthony to enjoy after his recent marathon... and I saw the words "INTENSE DARK"... and I thought... that's it!

I don't like dark chocolate!
Whew, what a relief!

Here's the thing... dark chocolate can be intense in flavor, but I don't prefer it. I am much more so drawn to milk chocolate. It doesn't make dark chocolate bad... or any less... in my opinion. Because some people... my husband included... like dark chocolate.

Anyway, it just really set in my mind that I need to give other people a break... especially when they can't handle my level of intensity. I guess I had thought something was wrong with me... and I shouldn't be so intense... that it was bad. But something as simple as a bar of chocolate made feel a little better about myself.

God made me intense. For a reason. I guess... take it or leave it.

But next time you buy me chocolate just remember it is one time that I don't like intense... and I wouldn't mind if it had nuts in it, too!