"Only someone who is ready for everything, who doesn't exclude any experience, even the most incomprehensible, will live the relationship with another person as something alive and will himself sound the depths of his own being." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

The way I see this now is to consider the relationship to be a container. Within the container everything, absolutely everything, leads to a deepening of Love and, here is the good news, there is nothing outside the container. Whatever happens in the relationship is within the container. ​Love, Diederik