Are Things Getting Worse, And If So, What Can We Do About It?

Coaching Call #048 was released yesterday. The topic of this week’s call is: She Wants to Attract More Friends Without Seeming Desperate.

This caller lost many of her friends when she decided to be more positive. Now, she finds herself reaching out others, but feels like she’s desperately asking them to like her. On top of that, she’s tired of always having to organize everything and would really like people to just come to her. Listen in as we explore why she’s feeling so needy and how she can attract precisely the kinds of friends she wants.

Of course, the lessons learned in this call apply not just to friendship, but to attracting people for any purpose: the perfect boyfriend, an awesome boss and amazing co-workers, and even just more positive interactions with people in general.

Awesome Dudette’s burning question is: “I’ve read a lot about empaths being in a time of crisis right now. It’s been reported as a result of the negative energies rising on earth. But I feel in my heart that it’s something else. Like we are all waking up at the same time. Most other empaths I’ve come into contact with are perpetually positive by nature, just like me.

So is it really just the result of the negative? Common sense would say there has always been just as much negative energy, so perhaps we can just feel it better now as our collective abilities awake? I’m just wondering if anyone else is sensing this wave of energy rising, and theories on why? I love reggae, and a line comes to me over and over when thinking about this… it is “we are all Jah army”. It feels like we are preparing for something. I’m just not sure what. Anyone else have this “sense”…?”

Dear Awesome Dudette,

First of all, there’s no such thing as “Negative” energy. There is no dark force, no evil and no energy that will bring you down. There is love and there is the resistance to love/the lack of love/the absence of love. But that resistance or absence is not a force in its own right. That’s one of the biggest misunderstandings that many religions perpetuate in the world today. There’s no devil, no evil, and not even a watered down, light version of that called “negative energy”.

Quite a few of my clients are light workers (actually, in a sense, they all are, they just don’t all consciously know it…), and this is a topic that comes up often. They’ll ask me how they can protect themselves against the negative energies of the people around them, of their clients and family members, and even the world in general. But, I’m afraid I have to call bullshit on that one.

Being sensitive is a double edged sword

Being an empath doesn’t make you more susceptible to dark or negative energy (which doesn’t exist. Honestly. And I’m going to keep saying it until it really sinks in). But it does make you more sensitive, so you can discern the difference between frequencies (those that feel good and those that don’t) more easily. This means that when other people think everything is fine, you’ll be able to tell that they are, in fact, in more pain than they’re letting on. They’re in a kind of denial, thinking that nothing is bothering them, when in fact, something totally is.

This sensitivity is a double edged sword, though. It also means that empaths can’t afford to be lazy. They can’t just observe what’s going on around them, let the energies of other people train them to go places they don’t want to go and not expect to “suffer” the consequences. But this suffering is, as always, self-inflicted. It comes from lack of focus, from lack of stability in one’s vibration (allowing ourselves to be influenced by other people’s energy), and, yes, from laziness. But all of these issues have solutions, and they’re not even that hard. It basically comes down to practice. More on that in just a bit (see section below on how to stabilize your vibration).

The great awaking

First, I’d like to answer the last part of your question: “It feels like we are preparing for something. I’m just not sure what. Anyone else have this “sense”…?”

Yes, Awesome Dudette. I assure you that pretty much anyone and everyone with any kind of sensitivity to energy is experiencing what you are. It feels like something’s coming. Something big. Something awesome (ok, whether or not you are interpreting it as awesome or scary depends on your perspective, but you CAN experience it as awesome). And it seems to be speeding up.

We’re all feeling it. But what, exactly, are we feeling?

What we’re feeling is the rising energy (not negative energy, just energy). The vibration of the Universe is continuously rising. As frequencies get higher, they get faster, so everything is speeding up. The time between thought and manifestation is getting shorter. It’s easier than ever to see the correlation between our focus and what shows up in our reality. But this also means that we have to be more responsible about what we place our powerful, reality creating focus on. We don’t have as much time to notice how we feel and correct our course before the physical manifestations show up. This can feel hectic and overwhelming (if you fight it or aren’t stable in your vibration), or it can feel like the best part of a roller coaster ride (Weeeeeeeeee!).

As the energy rises, more and more people are crossing the threshold that separates the two main states of consciousness:

The Victim State

Stuff just randomly happens to us

We’re all separate

It’s all totally meaningless in the end

No real awareness of emotions/suppression of emotions

We are all essentially powerless

There’s not enough (Scarcity)

Win/Lose scenarios (My gain is your loss and your gain is my loss)

The Self-Aware State

Nothing is random, everything happens as a response to vibration

We are all integrally connected (unity)

Nothing is meaningless. We are each more important than any of us have every glimpsed (including Jesus and Buddha)

Total awareness of emotions and what they mean/allowing of emotions

We are each the center of our own reality, in perfect control of our experience

Everyone can have whatever they truly want. There’s more than enough to satisfy all desires (abundance)

Win/Win scenarios (My gain is your gain. Your loss is my loss. When we truly benefit the individual, it benefits all. When we truly benefit all, it benefits the individual)

The whole universe is shifting and changing. We are entering a new era, a radically different way of looking at ourselves and the world. Not everyone will be talking about energy or the Law of Attraction. But the words we use aren’t important. The concepts and ideas behind the words are. I’m seeing a plethora of speeches and articles coming out by all kinds of prominent academics and business minds, who are telling young and old alike to start thinking differently (I often share these on Facebook, so if you’re not a fan of my page, you should become one). And people are listening. We are breaking out of the old paradigms. People are waking up and wondering why they ever decided it was a good idea to spend the majority of their lives working in a job they didn’t like. The payoff they promised suddenly seems paltry and even ridiculous in comparison. People are taking more “risks” and figuring out that there’s actually no real danger in following your passion. The real risk is in not doing so. People are becoming less and less willing to be grossly unhappy, unfulfilled and complacent.

The “Crisis!

And that’s this feeling of a kind of “crisis” you described. You see, waking up can be stressful, especially because most people require a cattle prod moment in order to be willing to really shift perspectives. They’re not willing to make a real change, to throw off the beliefs that never really served our ancestors but to which we’ve staunchly been holding on for generations, unless it becomes too uncomfortable not to. It’s a bit like realizing the world is round, and choosing to adopt that new belief. Only, that’s not quite accurate.

It’s more like everyone believes the world is flat and ON FIRE, and is running around in a panic. And more and people are realizing the world is round and NOT on fire. They then have to choose not to live in panic and fear anymore, but to calm down and observe what’s really true, even though everyone around them is still flailing about like a bunch of toddlers throwing simultaneous tantrums at an overcrowded toy store.

That kind of change of direction takes courage and conviction and isn’t done lightly. After all, that little ugly voice in your head may be whispering, “what if you’re wrong and we’re all slowly burning to death?” So, most people have to get to the point where they’re just too sick of being afraid all the time, and too tired to keep running around in a panic. So, they sit down. And they realize that there’s no smoke. If the world was on fire, wouldn’t there be smoke? Sure, some people have created fires in their panic and there’s some smoke from those flames, but where’s the rest? In fact, where’s the original fire?? And as they begin to ask those questions, they figure out that there was never any fire or smoke. It was all a myth; a nasty little fairy tale; essentially, a huge misunderstanding.

This shift, this awakening, is a pretty drastic one. And it can feel stressful, especially if you don’t know what’s happening (that’s why blogs like this one exist. If you understand the process, it makes it a lot easier to have an awesome experience and not freak out).

Why do some things seem to be getting worse?

As the energy rises and gets faster, any thoughts, ideas and beliefs that contradict that force are going to become more apparent. If you tie a rope to your arm and someone pulls on it, it’s going to create pressure. Tie the other end of the rope to a freight train and try to resist that, and it’s going to hurt. A lot. This is what you’re seeing in the world today: Those who are resisting love, those who insist on holding on to their limiting beliefs and continuing to live in the “Victim State” are going to suffer more and more (until they can’t take it anymore). And in that suffering, they rebel. They fight. They protest. They flail. They throw tantrums. They want the pain to stop. They do not understand that the pain and suffering are self-inflicted. They do not understand their own power. The very idea that they could be that powerful is incredibly scary to them, so much so, that they often find it offensive. They’re not yet ready to shift, but they’re getting there. Their cattle prod moment is coming.

The fact that there seems to be more violence and drama in the world today is a sign that people are moving closer and closer to that shift. They are rebelling with greater and greater violence, and will, when it all gets to be too much, break out of the old molds, throw off the shackles and finally be free. This is not just a change in paradigm. This is a revolution. This is evolution. We’re not just changing the rules, we’re changing the game. We’re correcting all those idiotic observations that have held us captive all these years (like that suffering is a good and virtuous thing). We’re waking up from a self-imposed nightmare. We are stopping the resistance, and learning to flow with the natural processes that have been in place long before we were thought into existence. We are stepping from the darkness (absence of light) into the light.

Stabilizing your vibration

Now that you understand what’s happening, the only question that remains is: How can you enjoy the ride? In order to do that, you have to learn to stabilize your vibration. There are many, many ways to do this (energy workers of all kinds have been looking for ways to do this for millennia), but I’m going to share my favorites with you today:

First and foremost, pay attention to the feedback you’re getting. Notice any changes in your emotions, as well as your body. Discomfort of any kind (even a sore neck) is a signal. Don’t dismiss anything as “normal”. It’s not normal to not feel well, even if it’s just a little bit. And no, not even if you’re getting “older”.

Pay attention to your focus (your feedback will help you with this). Continuously shift your focus to one that feels better. And yes, this takes some work and discipline. You’ve been trained to look for the worst case scenario. Retrain yourself to look for the outcome you want.

Pay absolutely no attention to what anyone else thinks. Really. Ignore them. They are the ones running around convinced the world is on fire.

Stop inundating yourself with the news. You will not become a total ignoramus. You can catch up on headlines at will, by dipping in and out. You can be aware of what’s going on without immersing yourself in the chaos. “Yes, they still think the world is on fire. They are protesting. Good for them! Now, let’s get back to focusing on the fact that there is no fire, and on helping those who are ready to see that, too.”

Practice focusing in a positive way. Practice feeling good. The more you do this, the easier it will be for you to feel good no matter what. Even in a crowd full of panicky people.

Do “grounding” work. Walk barefoot as much as possible, go outside (nature helps immensely). Or, just imagine yourself connecting with the earth, roots growing from your feet into the ground. Use water (taking a shower after energy work is a great way for me to ground myself. If I have to go out in public after coaching, I always take a shower first. It brings me back to the “real” world, and I’m not as wide open and susceptible to other people’s energy.

Do not seek approval from others. Make peace with the idea that they may not agree with you, or may not like you (not everyone will, can or has to). When you seek approval, you are opening yourself up to their energy. The irony is, of course, that the less you care about their approval, the more people will give it to you. But not everyone. Never everyone.

Do Yoga. It’s a great way to get to know your physical body, the feedback it provides and can be incredibly grounding. It brings your awareness back to the body.

Immerse yourself in materials or activities that support your new view (the world is not on fire) and which make you feel good. While you don’t need agreement from others, it feels good and strengthens your convictions to spend some time being with or listening to those who already think and feel like you do.

Do not try and convince anyone of your view. Arguing with them will lower your vibration to theirs. It’s not your job to wake them up. The Universe has got this. But you can support those who are in the process of waking up or have just woken up. That’s actually really fun.

Make some space and time for yourself every day. Meditation is great for this, but any time you’re alone can serve you. If you commute to work, for example, use that time to listen in on your thoughts. What’s on your mind? How does it feel? Is there something you need to pay attention to? Don’t go through life on auto pilot. It’s those automatic thoughts that often make you susceptible to the influence of other people’s energy.

Shut up more often. Listen to what’s going on around you; listen to what’s in your head; listen to what the Universe is trying to tell you; look for the gifts that others have for you. If you’re too intent on always being the teacher, you’ll forget to be the student.

Remember that you are, in fact, a student. There’s always more to learn.

Give others the benefit of the doubt. They’re all doing the best they can. No one suffers on purpose. Those who choose suffering do so because they don’t believe that there’s another viable option.

Love. Love as much as you can. Love everyone. Love unconditionally. Love them even if they don’t “deserve” it. It’s not for their benefit. It’s for yours.

Bottom line

This is an awesome time to be alive. We are witnessing the birth of a new era, and we’re right smack dab in the middle of it. We are the generation that all those who come after us (which is really going to be us, just saying) will look back on with wonder. This will have been the time when everything changed. Violence will become unnecessary. Scarcity will be a concept from the “dark ages”. Peace will trump war. Love will release hate (and swaddle it and kiss it on the forehead). Hugs will be given more freely (squishy, full body hugs, as they are meant to be given!). Passion will prevail. Hearts will rule. Smiles will abound. It’s coming. Not someday, but now. Are you ready? If you are, well then, Weeeeeeeeeeee!

About the Author

I think in ten thousand or one hundred thousand years our descendants will look back on us as Neanderthals because it took sustained thought and time to manifest our wants and desires. They will be able to manifest whatever they choose, instantly, with their minds. Our brains are SO remarkable, and they say we only use ten percent. Imagine what could be done when we can use the OTHER ninety percent.

I agree with the general spirit of this post–eventually. I can feel that a lot of things are shifting, but what is shifting in my perspective eventually leads to the state you describe, but is likely not an immediate destination. (although if it happens, I won’t complain)

I disagree with the “evil” aspect. If we are going to toss evil, then I think we also have to toss good. If we do that, we just become “present”. However, if we are going to believe in good, then we have little choice but to also believe in evil, because we have split the duality and labeled some part of existence. I would say that ultimately the goal is more light. For some that’s good, for others, that’s bad.

Likewise, I think there are negative energies. The reason I think that there are those is because I regularly have to shield myself from them. They might derive from resistance, but there is a definitive cold, nasty feeling to them. If you are so unlucky as to have an entity that holds that energy show up, you will likely label it is “evil” simply because “resistance” feels like too weak of a word.

I think everyone has a different path, and mine tends to be a little more shamanistic than most, hence my familiarity with the underworld is probably higher than most. A shamanic path basically is one wherein you don’t judge good or evil so much as you work with what is. If a nasty something or other shows up, you handle it. If a nice something or other shows up, you handle it.

The control you get is basically your attitude–if you judge evil or resist it, that creates a problem. If you judge good or resist it, that creates a problem. However, that things that exist that are “evil” exist in entity form I find to be factual. It’s simply pointless to worry about them, however.

This is interesting Joe Bill and reminds me of the issues raised in M Scott Peck’s book ‘People of the lie’. He also felt that ‘evil’ was a tangible dark force or energy, as he witnessed himself. Part of me believes that dark is just an absence of light but, as you say, evil can also appear to be less passive than just an absence of light or love, more an almost conscious force for destruction in its own right. An interesting point.

Yeah, Peck’s book is good I think because it opens our eyes to something we might otherwise ignore. A Kabbalistic perspective on the issue of evil is that the dark spots are actually just obscured light which are in the process of being eliminated. The only truly dark thing that exists in that framework is where light was evacuated by God in order to form creation. However, if your light is sufficiently obscured, and you take pride in degrading and debasing the light of others, such a thing is indistinguishable from evil and leaves a detectable odor.

I agree with you Joe Bill and, as Peck pointed out in his book, he witnessed that some people were very conscious in their delight at creating suffering for others. You’re quite right about their motive of trying to extinguish the light of others. It’s effect is the same as evil – and I would probably define that as evil in fact. It’s probably wise to accept that it’s out there but, as I think you previously said, treat it with a neutrality and just handle it or flood it with light – that will be annoying to them.

Absolutely awesome… I’m always thinking about my kids and the future they will have (I don’t even have the man yet, let alone the kids, but I always have my boys on my mind <3) and how I will raise them in a positive reality. I even wanted to make a children's book to teach them about LoA in a fun way, but I'm waiting on the universe to bring me some inspiration on that one, so rain check on that ;P

It's strange, me and a friend of mine had a similar discussion a long time ago, that we felt something coming, and questioned whether it was something unknown and dark, or just something unknown. Just a feeling of fear and excitement of something new, mixed together in a strange ball of thought. He is an absolute genius when it comes to manifesting, and he didn't even know about LoA, he has only recently opened up enough to allow me to teach him the rules and it made me so happy that he would finally learn to create consciously, I'm sure he will build a magnificent world for himself :')

This is a post I’m going to have to read a few times! I think I’m one of those people that Awesome Dudette talks about, and empath who isn’t stable enough to be weathering all this very easily. It kind of feels like being in the middle of a hurricane, and I don’t mean in the eye! Your list of ways to stabilize is really useful. Thank you!

I often come back to Gandhi’s quote about tyrants and etc…will always get there just desserts and only love will win in the end.
I just have to keep working on not thinking about what others think…and acceptance.

I still feel a great sadness about all this gun violence and violence for others – I include it in my pre-meditation time. I find an Epsom Salts bath is very helpful for letting go of the disconcerting energy around me when I come home.

There’s no devil, no evil, and not even a watered down, light version of that called “negative energy”. Amen, Mel, that is a key message in, sorry for the plug, Waking God: The Trilogy, or the third book in the series, The Second Coming of Humanity. We are all waking gods, well, awakening gods. And, as a character in the Trilogy says, “It’s not about saving humanity, it never has been.” Or, “Did I not say ye are gods.” (Jesus). You will note that this was not a question, but a statement.
I hope folks will listen to what you say, it’s on the ‘mark.’

Terrific post, as usual, Melody. But I must be living in an alternate universe or something, because my life seems to be getting just better and better, almost daily, and the same is true for almost everyone I know. But I also don’t think this is just happenstance. Like that old saying about “good luck” — the harder you work, the more of it you have — I’m definitely finding that the deeper I get into LOA, and the better I get at handling and focusing my own energies, the better things get.

And I work at it. I stopped listening to or watching the news a few years ago. Just don’t do it. If there’s something important going on I need to know about, it always seems to find its way to me. I flatly refuse to listen to gossip. When someone sidles up to me and says, in that avid tone of voice that gossips use when “sharing” nasty stuff, to ask “have you heard the latest about [whatever]??”, I say “no, and I do not WANT to hear it.” If they try to persist, I become VERY firm. I refuse as firmly to become embroiled in those “ain’t it awful” discussions in which people all stand around decrying how terrible the weather/economy/what-have-you is. I am honest about it: “sorry, I don’t let that kind of energy into my life” and walk away.

I love TV & movies, and have no problem watching the gory, violent stuff. I read about 200+ novels/year, including horror, mystery & suspense thrillers, but am aware it’s just entertainment that may scare the daylights out of me at times but is FUN. I spend 99% of my time with positive, upbeat, funny people. I have just one person in my life (& for another 6 months) who is unrelentingly negative & miserable, but I limit the time I’m around her and prepare myself well in advance of meetings to limit the effect she has on me. I stopped “doing drama” a few years ago, gave up my martyr complex a long time ago, remind myself 257 times a day to “let it be easy” and “it doesn’t have to be hard!” — and encourage those around me to do the same.

I am routinely teased about being unrealistic, that I hide my head in the sand, that I’m a Pollyanna, that just because I refuse to “accept” what’s going on doesn’t mean it’s not going on. Could be. BUT — I’m doing better financially, am healthier & more fit (I’m 65, btw), am more creative, having more fun and just simply enjoying life more than ever before in my life.

I believe we find what we look for. And my suggestion is that if we don’t like what we’ve found, maybe we need to look for something better. And Melody — thanks again for being part of MY ongoing search for “something better”. You rock!

Thanks Susanne, I enjoyed your post. It encouraged me. I am only 53 and I feel 100, and I am not yet through the victim stage sadly, but I perservere. I like your “let it be easy, it doesnt have to be hard.” I will be using that. I have just recently been trying to speak more kindly to myself. Not that I am unkind, but I dont afford the same kindness to myself that I do to others, so I am working on it. I try to speak to myself as I speak to my dogs. Reassuringly, “It’s alright, you’re ok.” And when they do what they are asked, “GOOD GIRL!” So now I say to myself, “GOOD GIRL!” :o)

If you are interested and Melody doesnt mind, there is a great website I spend a lot of time on, called Gratitude Log where people post their gratitude. I shared a video there and the GOOD GIRL idea. You seem like the Gratidude Log “type” so I wanted to share. http://www.gratitudelog.com/richwell/updates/768157

A bit late replying to this, sorry — but yes, yes and YES. I look at this person and how our lives intersect and can see why she’s passing through mine. Big lessons there, and ones I might have been battling with for much longer had she not come along. She’s not even in a major role of any kind, but the uproar she causes is wide-spread and recognizing that, and my part in creating it, has changed a lot of things. Which of course is why she’s moving on . . . or, more correctly, it’s me doing the moving, but the effect is the same. I realized some time ago that I have to deal with MY part in this before I move, or I’ll simply trade her for someone else with the same issues — pointing out the same problems. I silently thank her almost daily for how she’s helped me grow my life in a more positive direction!

there’s a reason empaths enter into hybernation.
When we were young, we all went through this stage of awakening. That’s why we learned to walk, to read, to speak, to follow rules etc. The best among us tasted the hatred and the stubborness of those who are still alive and were never punished. The rest of those who remained and were eager to live and love, they learned to expect doom. We didn’t learn to expect doom because of fear. We sensed the thoughts of other people even before they were conscious of them and we could have destroyed them, if we desired to do so. We did that in order to stay in the same place and we chose the hard way from a state of love, giving security and stability a high priority.
We chose to appear normalish, so we could survive without using violence or manipulation.

We de-activated ourselves for a reason. You don’t address this reason.
This whole operation is doomed from the beginning.
What I see is that we ask the dead to rise from the graves to do the work the living can’t do.

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful post full of so much wisdom and clarity! I am not sure, but this may be my favorite of all your posts I have read! (And I have read a lot of them!).

Just yesterday, I was reading an excerpt from an Abraham workshop in which Abraham uses the concept of “the stream”. If you are paddling, and working hard to move upstream, you are resisting the stream. If you let go of the oars and allow the stream to take you downstream, you will get where you are going a lot faster and with much more ease. All of the suggestions you give for stabilizing vibration fall into the category of letting go of the oars and floating downstream. It can take focus, but once I give myself permission to consciously achieve that focus, the ride on the stream is so much more fun!

John,
Someone used that same example on Oprah years ago, maybe Louise Haye, it resonated with me also. Oprah said, “Oh, so you need to turn around?” she said “No, just take your oars out of the water, the current will do the rest.”

I bring it up because not too long after that, I received an email from a LOA believer acquaintance and in her email signature she had the following quote and I loved it.

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a Dream

Hello Melody! Just a quick hello from me to let you know I’ve been browsing the web and discovered your website – I believe from a comment you made on theconfidentmom.com. Anyways, I like what you’re doing here!