Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I am making this my life song, and I want to dedicate this to my friend, Emil. Jesus is ever present in every situation in our lives. He sees and he understands. I may not be able to see you in this life, but I am sure we will see each other in our Father's arms, my brother.

Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus)

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

Monday, March 19, 2012

I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. I'm talking about my annual "Guilt Trip."

I got tickets to fly there on Wish I Had airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my baggage, which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was weighted down with a thousand memories of what might have been. No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.

As I checked into the Last Resort Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event, the Annual Pity Party. I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.

First, there would be the Done family, you know, Should Have, Would Have and Could Have. Then came the I Had family. You probably know ol' Wish and his clan. Of course, the Opportunities would be present, Missed and Lost. The biggest family would be the Yesterday's. There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share.

Then Shattered Dreams would surely make and appearance. And It's Their Fault would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in his life, and each story would be loudly applauded by Don't Blame Me and I Couldn't Help It.

Well, to make a long story short, I went to this depressing party knowing that there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that all of this trip and subsequent "pity party" could be canceled by ME! I started to truly realize that I did not have to be there. I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN'T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as encouraging. Knowing this, I left the City of Regret immediately and left no forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I've made in the past? YES! But there is no physical way to undo them.

So, if you're planning a trip back to the City of Regret, please cancel all your reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a place called, Starting Again. I liked it so much that I have now taken up permanent residence there. My neighbors, the I Forgive Myselfs and the New Starts are so very helpful. By the way, you don't have to carry around heavy baggage, because the load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. God bless you in finding this great town. If you can find it -- it's in your own heart -- please look me up. I live on I Can Do It Street.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I recently attended a workshop called RCW1 (Reparenting the Child Within) conducted by Reintegration for Care and Wholeness Foundation, Inc. by the recommendation of Pastor Clem Guillermo. RCWFI was founded by Harriet H. Hormillosa, or Neh (short for Nene), an ex-nun and a graceful woman who hails from Silay City in Negros Occidental. Kuya Clem and Neh both claimed they have been friends from way back, and I can feel the faith and trust of both in each other. According to Neh, they were always referred to as the "odd couple" because one is a pastor and the other a nun. The only difference is one is married and the other, single.

If you do not know Kuya Clem (as he is popularly called in his radio program "Heartline" on DZAS 702), he is a pastor and marriage counsellor. Kuya Clem has helped me twice in the past through his on-air counselling, the first was when I was 21 and the second was when I was 24. His advice helped me get back on the right track on both instances.

I had a counselling session with Kuya Clem in his office on February 1, 2012 (I am now 45). I finally got to meet him in person through a friend who set my appointment with him. As I have stated above, one of his recommendations was that I go through the therapy of reparenting my inner child.

Weeks before the workshop (which was scheduled February 17 to 19), I was feeling apprehensive because I did not know what I was getting myself into, plus having the fear that after exerting all effort, everything would stay the way they've been or get worse, like something that happened to me in the past. A friend told me to go through it and find out if it's effective or not rather than spending my whole life wondering and having the what ifs, so I decided to enroll, though half-heartedly.

On the first day in the seminar room, I was made at ease because there is an agreement of confidentiality, and no one is to judge anyone. That is a place where I can feel safe, and everyone can be relied on to support me in my process. I knew right there and then that this was meant for me.

During the introduction, Neh gave 30 seconds for anyone who would want to back out from the program with a full refund. During that 30 seconds, I thought that if I walked out of that room at that moment, I had no place to go because I was sure deep in my heart that this weekend was appointed for me. I was at the right place at the right time. God appointed this for me. This is later confirmed because even my transportation was provided. A participant with a car lives near my place which is en route from his house to the workshop site, which is not an easy access for me if I were commuting. I am truly grateful to them and for them.

You may be curious about what happened in my workshop.

This is a quote from one of my posts, The Survivor, which I wrote on January 24, way before I knew of RCW's program.

Every time I think about this, it gives me goosebumps, because this is exactly what happened to me, and more.

I was able to connect with the infant me, the toddler me, the play age me, and the adolescent me. I was able to assure them that I will take care of them. They don't have to be afraid anymore. They don't have to hurt anymore. I understand them and what they are going through, and they can depend on me because I will be strong for them. I told them that despite what happened to them, everything will be ok. Everything will turn out fine. I will give them the love and the care they need. And that I love them and accept them as they are.

My eyes were opened, and I begin to understand.

I was able to endure my ordeal and stay sane as a battered son foremostly by the grace of God. And I held on because of my loved ones, my siblings. I used to say that I survived because I was strong. But during the end of the last activities, I realized that I became strong because of my friends. God has blessed me with friends who helped me be strong. In my journey, friends have come and gone, and I meet new friends along the way. Some may be for keeps and some may be just passing by, but each is a blessing and a gift from God.

Your natural charisma and charm makes you an influential figure able to inspire confidence in others. Material abundance and emotional contentment are seemingly drawn to you and satisfy your dreams of success. However, being humanitarian, you find that applying your talents and creative prowess to a worthwhile purpose is far more satisfying than material gain. Your courage, adaptability, and determination overcome any obstacles.

Laurence

Laurel - crowned one"Latin"

Honest, dependable, and practical, you tend to have a fairly conservative but determined approach to life. Your intelligence and wisdom means that you are sought out for guidance and advice. Gifted in communication, you are philosophical and intuitive and are usually a traveller both mentally and physically. People respect you for your patience, discretion, and integrity.

Rence

You are fair-minded, wise, and peace-loving and are always willing to help others. Your mental capabilities and creativity are well-marked with wonderful and original ideas which you need to bring to tangible fruition. Perceptive and understanding of others, your positive approach to life and influential nature means that you have leadership qualities. There is great potential for success both financially and spiritually.

Kuya

You are idealistic and intelligent and very much an all-or-nothing person. Tending to experience constant change in life security is found in your real and abiding values. With great organizational ability, industry and creative prowess, you love to build tangible results and are especially gifted at transforming lost causes. Your intelligence is marked with keen perception and analytical ability. A secure home life and relationship are important for you.

Monday, January 23, 2012

After work this evening, I dropped by Shopwise Sucat to buy prepaid load for my broadband before going home. Pagpasok ko ng entrance ng Shopwise, there a was a girl handing out fortune cookies and she gave me one. Paglabas ko naman, sinadya kong humingi ng isa pa.

I am fascinated by fortune cookies. Kasi napapanood ko ito sa movies where the characters will break the cookie and read what is written on the strip of paper that is inside the cookie. E, hindi ko pa naranasan mag-break ng fortune cookie. And curious ako kung ano ang sinasabi ng kapirasong papel.

Some people think single people have miserable and lonely lives because that is how they see their lives if they do not marry. But that is not true to all persons. Some can be mature and single and still be content and happy. Di ba, marami nga ang married, pero miserable naman ang buhay nila?