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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

New Relationship Milestone for Me...A BIG ONE!

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Oh Labor Day Weekend...you were ever so much fun! Too short tho...definitely. While one friend is now engaged, another takes a pregnancy test, a new one starts a new relationship, and well for me...Cj and I declared that we are going to move in together!! Amongst the other drama, while folding a blanket for a drunk friend who stayed on my couch, Cj and I came to terms that we will be taking that next step! Our drunk friend was like "Aww I just witnessed a relationship milestone...yay!" Yup and all I have to say is..."Woohoo!"

It isn't going to be tomorrow or next week but it will be soon other than later. Now my shower liner blogpost is really important to me. Cj tho had a big car repair bill a lil while ago so when he finishes paying for that we are going to take that plunge. Right now he's actually sitting on my couch playing a video game...I guess this a taste of the real life living together. It's awesome by my standards. I'll have to always keep French Vanilla Coffeemate in the fridge but I can more than do that! ;)

This will definitely change things for him and me. Our identities, I think, are going to be the most in jeopardy. CJ and I have become a "we" and an "us" but we can't forget who each other are deep down. We mustn't change who we truly are in this whole process. I've often felt that I've lost myself a lil in this relationship but even just acknowledging that helps me bring it all back to focus. There has to be a happy medium of understanding, compromise, and listening to each other's needs and above all else, sharing. Of course there's been other 2 only children couples that have lived together but this might be a challenge for us sometimes. However I'm up for the challenge. This is going to be an awesome test run for the rest of our lives...I'm strangely comfortable with that.

I wonder tho if he'd bring his cat....erm...we definitely have to talk about specifics...definitely.

I wish I had his and hers sinks but that could be a goal for the future. The future...I smile a lil bit more brightly about it. Cj at some point this weekend told me he loves me a lil more each day and it erased the noisy bar around me and all I saw was him and all I felt was his kiss. I love him so very much and maybe this move is exactly what we need right now...Maybe....

Well here's today's question:

What's something I SHOULD KNOW about him or SHOULD ASK him about before the move in? What's been your experiences?

15 comments:

Considering my husband and I were married before we moved in together, my advice would be different. I think important questions to ask in any serious relationship is if you have the same goals for children, money, and life in general.

Aw, how exciting! I'm so happy for you!! I don't know if there is one thing you should know or ask first - I've only lived with my husband and he is so easy going and laid back that we haven't really had too many issues. If something is going to bother you about his habits though, speak up and don't let it bottle up!!

Congrats! I'm a HUUUGE advocate of people living together before taking any next steps. If you two can live together successfully, then all signs point to yes when it comes to bigger life events in the future.

Congrats on taking the next step in your relationship. When my fiance and I moved in together the first thing that weirded me out was him cleaning stuff...it just seemed odd for someone to be touching my stuff. I think I took it a little personal with thinking...does he think my place is a mess?!? As for the cat, he didn't have one when he moved in but he wanted to get one. I wasn't a big fan of cats but I now love our cat Kitty and we rescued her from the animal shelter. Congrats again! It will be great!!

My advice: give each other space. It is so easy for couples to smother each other once they move in together. And that is how most couples break up! So make sure you guys know you aren't going to spend every single waking moment together. The close proximity 24/7 is what has caused a divorce and breakup amongst my friends. Plus, it almost drove me and Rian apart three years ago, when we moved in together.

I think that is the most important lesson a couple learns. Because there is a big difference between dating and seeing each other almost every day, to actually living with someone. The dynamics are so different!!

By now you probably know most of the major things about CJ, and he about you. You've already decided to move in together and I think this is a question that should be asked before that kind of decision is made. But I know you well enough to believe you're not impulsive about these things and I'm confident you've already thought much of this through.

Anything you should know about him will become evident as you both spend more time living together. I think the biggest thing to consider is where you see this going, and are you both on the same page. Does he see it as something beyond a financial break and the convenience of sex? I'm sure it goes beyond that for him but I'm curious to know how your reasons for moving in together would compare. as well as where you both see this leading. How long do you plan to live together before getting married? How long does he plan to? That date doesn't have to be set, I just hope to see you both sharing the same goal and wanting the same thing from this, whatever that may be. Only you can decide that together.

I haven't said it for a while but I'm really happy for you Mel, and I wish you both all the success and hapiness in the world.

Congratulations! This is exciting. Saw it on Twitter and had to pop over and see what the milestone was even though I'm not blogging today. As for what you should know about him before he moves in...well, I think what I wish I knew about my hubby before we moved in together was how much football he watches! I knew he liked it, but I had no idea I'd never have access to the tv on Saturday or Sundays. Best of luck to both of you!

Congratulations!!! That's so exciting, sweetie. It's so funny...Labor Day weekend seems to be a big milestone weekend for so many people. J and I started dating then and then we also got married on Sept 6th. My sister and her husband started dating Labor Day weekend, and I know loads of other people who got engaged Labor Day weekend too. What is it about that time? It's all good things though so I know this will be a good thing for you :)

Awwww. :) Oh how I remember first moving in with my boyfriend earlier this year. It was probably way too soon but we're closer than ever. We aren't even to the one year mark. But I do wish I had known how much "drama" he had going on, financially and with his ex and kid. However, now that I know, we have worked through it. Living together is a test drive. It'll show how it will be once you're married. I believe in doing that- otherwise, how will you know JUST how much his facial hair all over the counter will annoy you?? Congrats!

congratulations! As far as what you should ask him...I'm not sure. M and I had been together for about a year when we moved in together and at that point I thought I knew him pretty well. And thankfully in the years since, there have been no surprises ;)