Your Man Wants This From You. And It’s NOT What You think.

I had two coaching calls yesterday with different men, who are each in a committed relationship with a woman. The story line was so similar. The men were feeling frustrated by the same basic issue. The women were unaware of the significance of it or were struggling in their own resistance to it.

Both men have been trying to give their partner what she wants, even explaining this to her in plain language when their actions weren’t being interpreted as such. Both men said their woman generally has a hard time receiving! This has led to them feel continuously frustrated, disconnected, & disheartened. They have no clue how to navigate their expressions of love, her blocks & this destructive pattern they’ve noticed throughout the relationship. What they most want is to “make her happy”, they try, she resists & doesn’t receive their support.

In both relationship cases, she sometimes further embraces her masculine energy, by being willing to battle them. Power struggles are an inefficient use of life energy. This is & will always be a lose – lose.

Do YOU effectively use your feminine energy & receive your partner?

Masculine & feminine energy are polar opposites.

Feminine energy is open & receptive.

Masculine energy is focused & penetrating.

Both are extremely powerful, especially when highly polarized & used in tandem.

This is the true “Opposites attract”. It creates & sustains that hot spark between couples.

Sadly, in our culture of prized accomplishments, big goals & “doingness”, feminine energy can take a backseat on the desirable list. This is a tragedy because this energy is not weaker or less valuable. Yin & Yang are both equal parts of a whole & work best together. But for many women, our movement of gaining equal rights & claiming independence has been cultivated & built through us embodying masculine principles. The cost is big.

Balancing our own masculine & feminine can be a challenge if you’re a woman in today’s world. We’re often working against ourselves & our feminine nature & it’s exhausting. Interestingly, using our feminine energy can help us to be more productive (masculine outcome). For instance, if creativity is part of your job or business, embracing & using your creative (feminine) energy will actually support your goals. Maybe even getting it done in less time & with a higher level of quality. I’ve noticed this for myself in my business. Trying to do things in a masculine way leaves me feeling drained, like I’m forcing things & pushing, versus letting things flow & creating in the “zone”.

How can we become better at receiving & using our feminine energy?

You can practice increasing your feminine energy & receptivity skills in many ways.

With your partner you can practice being receptive to their intention, energy, love expressed in various forms. It may show up in a form different than the one you’re wanting in that moment. Rather than leave him feeling like he did it “wrong” because it wasn’t the expression you really wanted, try gracefully receive his love, in the masculine form that it came. In being received, his masculinity will automatically be validated & he will want to be closer to you.

I’m not suggesting you ignore your own wants or be denied the type of care you’re craving. The masculine gets to become skilled at giving to his feminine in the ways she craves & there’s definitely a time for those requests & for those gestures to come from him. I am suggesting that you don’t use your masculine energy against him; to block him, push him away or do battle, especially during a time where he is trying to give to you.

To open to your feminine, you can also practice receiving the nurturing qualities of nature. Spend time in the flow of nature. Wear flowing clothing or dresses that leave you feeling feminine & beautiful, do yoga or try belly dancing classes to wake up your sensuality. (belly dancing classes were a breakthrough for me)

You can receive pleasure by enjoying a nourishing meal, taking a creative art class or receiving a relaxing spa treatment. In our busy schedules these will need to be penciled in, but it’s importance cannot be understated.

Masculine energy is magnetized by feminine energy.

Feminine energy draws the masculine to it. He is pulled in by it & he wants to go deeper. The greater the polarization, the hotter the spark. If you want to rev up your love life, then understanding, embracing & utilizing feminine energy is a sure fire way to do it!