Tag Archives: networking

So, you’re never first to raise your hand during meetings and you’re uncomfortable schmoozing with strangers at networking events. Does that mean you’re doomed to fail in the business world?

Not even close, shy one.

Those on the quiet side tend to be good listeners, giving them a serious edge over their more talkative, sometimes oversharing counterparts, says etiquette coach Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach.

If you’re on Linked In you’ve gotten them. The notes from people that you linked up with because you met them once at a mixer or because they knew someone you knew, or, let’s be honest, because you wanted to see that ‘500+ connections’ next to your name.

Some of them will eventually drop you a quick note about what they do and then ask you to endorse them. This must work, because a lot of people are doing it. I get at least one person a week asking me to endorse them. I don’t know them any better than the person ahead of me in line at Starbucks.

Now the truth is, if I wanted not to receive these e-mails, I would never link to people that I wouldn’t recommend. But I get at several requests to link every day, and the more links you have the more you get until it’s a never ending stream. If you’re half paying attention, the urge to just click ‘accept’ will get the best of you. Besides, the more people you’re linked to, the more influential you are, right?

But at the end of the process you have a another version of Facebook, where the connections don’t really mean anything, but you have a good count. It makes Linked In a beauty contest, not the connection engine as it was originally conceived as. Really, if you think about it, your real goal should be to have as few connections as possible, but of high enough quality and character that you would unreservedly recommend them at the drop of a hat. And those that you link with should be willing to do exactly the same for you. Otherwise, what is the point?

What is the point, indeed. Stories are told of collaborations that lead to millions of dollars in deals being done. Tales of jobs, sometimes unsolicited, being brought to people through their Linked In contacts. I do see that happening on a few of the groups that I belong to, rarely. For the most part, it’s a lot of noise as people try to stand out from an ever growing crowd.

Quantity is not quality. Quality begins when we make better choices. That starts with including who’s in and who’s not in our circle of business partners and associates.

Today, LinkedIn is the No. 1 social media platform for professionals. Estimates of professional participation in LinkedIn are as high as 83%.

But when I talked to one of my friends–social media expert Alexandra Gibson from OttoPilot Media–she told me that she sees too many professionals making a lot of mistakes. Here are the seven she sees most often.

One of the first people we met when we began marketing in Orange County was Bill Ellermeyer. I met him at a mixer where I noticed the ever changing number and types of people speaking with him. Some younger, some older, people in hip hop regalia and guys in suits we’re engaged with him in conversation.

When I finally spoke with him I noticed two things. First, I felt like I’d known the man for more than a few moments, and second, he was an incredible listener. How this listening manifested itself was he asked questions that got at what I was thinking, not just saying. Within a ten minute conversation, he had a good grasp of my business and gave me a road map of whom to speak with and where potential partners and clients might be found. All of this information was delivered with wit and enough political savvy that the relationships of the people we discussed became apparent. It was a seminar. Then, as quick as it started it was over, both of us shaking hands and continuing to work the room.

This is what Bill Ellermeyer does. He sees patterns. He makes connections. He then takes that vision and applies it to his clients who are primarily executives exiting the corporate world in search of the next illusive job or in some cases coming to grips with the idea that the next position won’t be there for them at all.

There have been a lot of books written about business networking and referral marketing. I’ve written quite a few of these myself. There have also been a lot of books written about the difference between men and women. However, it dawned on me that no one had ever made the effort to combine the two subjects. With that realization, a new book project was born.

Over a four-year period, more than 12,000 businesspeople participated in a study focused around 25 simple questions. After analyzing the results of the survey, I was ready to speak about the results from an expert perspective in the book. I gathered together two of my fellow networking experts: Frank DeRaffele, to write from the male perspective; and Hazel Walker to write from the female perspective. Our combined knowledge and experience came together to bring a unique perspective to this innovative book.

Based on a mash up of computer networking theory and the concept of six degrees of separation, network science is an emerging theory of marketing. It’s the building and utilization of a group of contacts whom you could help that can help you. The website LinkedIn is based on this concept.

To get started, you take inventory of your contacts, categorizing them into the following groups: customers, prospects, allies and friends and family. You then list your contact’s contacts into the same categories to understand how their contacts align with your goal. Once completed, you will have a good idea of what your 1st, 2nd and 3rd degrees of separation look like.

You will be surprised at how close you are to some pretty important people. For example, because of one client, we are two degrees of separation from Barach Obama, Oprah Winfrey and Sean Hannity, truly an interesting mix of people. We have a client that builds armored limousines for celebrities, putting us two degrees away from them.

Proximity may or may not translate into access. The quality of your contact’s relationships and their willingness to link you to their contacts will control your access. That’s why analysis is critical. If you identify your target and the purpose for being introduced, it will make it easier for the person being asked to say yes.

Cara Stewart and Theresa Drieke of Remarx Media made a killer presentation about what social media is and also what it isn’t to our bi-monthly brown bag group. While this presentation isn’t quite as powerful without the voice over, it does give you some good grounding in the basics.

One of the things the presenters said that stuck with me was this: “With the speed that the social networking environment is changing, anyone who tells you there are an expert in field doesn’t get it, or is not being truthful.” With my experience with so called experts, all I can say is ‘Amen’.