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Tuesday, August 2, 2016

ARCHIVE / LARRY, THE UNIMPEACHABLE RESIDENT OF #10 DOWNING STREET

Larry, the resident cat of Number 10 Downing Street will remain with the new Prime Minister's household, but if the truth be known, Larry's has a testy relationship with the media as the catty press has captured images of the Chief Mouser in rather compromising situations.

One
resident of Number 10 Downing Street in London stayed during this year’s change
of British Prime Minsters from David Cameron to Theresa May.

Larry,
the cat, however, isn’t going anywhere.He belongs to the residence and not to any Prime Minister.It has been that way since 2011 when Larry
was brought home from London's Battersea Dogs and Cats Home for rescued
animals.

Larry
was brought in to fill the role of the UK’s official mouser.

When
asked, the PM’s staff withheld any background on Larry thus forcing the
provincial press to check British civil service records, plus a scan of Burke’s Peerage, where no mention of
Larry was found.But, he does dress rather smart in a Union Jack bowtie.

Pedigree
aside, Larry enjoys the privileges of being a family member and resident of
Number 10 Downing Street.

There
are feline drawbacks.Although, he has a
good relationship with security agents guarding the Prime Minister’s residence,
he is somewhat too short to reach the doorknocker.He has to wait for assistance to enter.

Which
brings up a testy situation, which left Larry rather miffed.As a resident of Number 10 Downing Street he
feels he should be accorded the same respect as other residents.The offending event occurred recently when
Larry couldn’t make up his mind to enter the front door or not, whereby he was
eventually given a mindful nudge on his backside to get him through the door.

Of
course, those snarky tabloid paparazzi caught the maneuver on camera.

For
security reasons we could not leave the front door open for Larry’s lack of
decisiveness, said a reported missive from the PM’s PR staff.

Larry
groused asking if security would have nudged the Prime Minister on the backside
if she dallied too long at the door waving to the press.No word has been forthcoming on the matter.

Before
the change in PM households, there were whispers from the same catty British
tabloids hinting Larry hasn’t caught a mouse since his arrival. To fend off the
ugly rumors, Larry had a doctored photo of him stalking a mouse released to
those media wolves.For now, it seems to
have worked.

But
when mousing is slow (and for Larry it appears all the time) he has other
duties such as supervising the laying down of the red carpet before important
guests arrive.He also is there to alert
the staff of the arrival of world leaders, albeit, he feels miffed when
important matters are discussed without his input.

Recently,
the Foreign Office next door added a new cat and named him Palmerson, after a
vintage VIP.During the recent Brexit
debates, the two cats voiced opposite views of the proposal.

Fur flying out side of Prime Minister's residence

Howls between the two were heard by media
late at night along Downing Street.No
word as what position Larry took on Brexit, but he was overheard mentioning
certain views to President Obama during the President’s recent visit.

Melissa, will you please ask him why there are no cats in the White House?

One
of those late night debates with Palmerson might have caused one of Larry’s
more embarrassing lapses because he dozed off in the middle of Downing Street. The police were called in to remove Larry from
dreamland.And, again to the dismay of
the household, the press caught the entire episode on camera.

"Yes, officer, I am a bit woozy would you mind taking me to the back door."

Number
10 household members are mum on whether Larry’s otherwise spotless record holds
true inside the residence.No comment to
date on that delicate matter.

"Must I do everything around here? Answer the door, it's President Putin.

All
in all, Larry has made it through his first change of household albeit he does
have a testy relationship with the press (insisting his privacy is being
violated and he feels such media scrutiny will delay his Knighthood), but aside from that it appears all’s well with the Empire as it
exists now in the paws of a cat.