It's looking pretty likely that Mariano Rivera, the greatest closer and one-pitch pitcher in MLB history, will play his last game this Sunday. He holds the saves record at 652, but this only scratches the surface of his statistical dominance. His 2.21 ERA translates to a park- and era-adjusted ERA+ of 205, which is the highest of all time (it's not even close), and his 1.0013 career WHIP is the third-lowest of all time, and the lowest of the last 97 years. As good as he was in the regular season he was about twice as good in the postseason, posting an ERA of 0.70 and a WHIP of 0.759 in 141 innings. Etc., etc.

Like anyone who retires from a job after nearly two decades, Rivera has spent the season accepting shitty presents from his coworkers, some of whom he hardly even knew. Here's all the tacky shit that Rivera has received on his farewell tour, ranked in order of Rivera's regular-season ERA against that team.

San Diego Padres: Beach Cruisers (5)

Regular Season: 0.00 ERA, 0.400 WHIP, 4 saves, 5.0 IP

Postseason: 0.00 ERA, 1.154 WHIP, 3 saves, 4.1 IP

San Francisco Giants: Signed Guitar + Ugly Art

Regular Season: 0.00 ERA, 0.632 WHIP, 2 saves, 6.1 IP

Postseason: None

The guitar is signed by Willie Mays, which is kind of badass.

Los Angeles Dodgers: Fishing Rod

Regular Season: 0.00 ERA, 0.333 WHIP, 3 saves, 6.0 IP

Postseason: None

Colorado Rockies: Donation To Rivera's Charity

Regular Season: 0.00 ERA, 0.600 WHIP, 5 saves, 5.0 IP

Postseason: None

The Rockies probably give a lot of gift cards for birthday presents. Also, most of the teams that gave actual gifts also included a donation.