Top 10 Outrageous Online Petitions

VO: Rebecca Brayton
Script written by Nick Spake
The things people are posting on the Internet these days… Join WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for the Top 10 Outrageous Online Petitions. For this list, we're taking a look at the craziest and most audacious ideas ever to be petitioned on the web. These petitions can be dumb or dumb like a fox as long as they're totally impractical.
Speclal thanks to our user christo for submitting the idea using our interactive suggestion tool at WatchMojo.comsuggest

Top 10 Outrageous Online Petitions

The things people are posting on the Internet these days… Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 outrageous online petitions.

For this list, we’re taking a look at the craziest and most audacious ideas ever to be petitioned on the web. These petitions can be dumb or dumb like a fox as long as they’re totally impractical.

#10: Nationalize the Twinkie Industry
4,409 Signatures

Few comfort foods are as delectable as Twinkies. They’re spongy, cream-filled, and melt right in your mouth. When Hostess faced closure and massive layoffs back in 2012, snack-lovers everywhere feared that Twinkies might be discontinued. Radio personality Daniel Boi was so concerned that he requested President Barack Obama “nationalize the Twinkie industry and prevent our nation from losing her sweet creamy center.” Considering Michelle Obama’s vow to fight obesity, it’s hard to imagine the White House standing up for a junk food. You’d probably have better luck calling Twinkie the Kid to save the day.

#9: Dinosaur Clone Park
1,941 Signatures

If you’re looking to experience the beauty of Nature, plan a trip to a national park. Want something a little more intense? Consider signing this petition to convert at least one national park into a dinosaur clone park. The petition also helpfully suggests a place that sells amber jewelry to, you know, track down dino DNA in mosquito fossils. While not exactly realistic, it’d admittedly be pretty awesome to visit a park filled with Velociraptors and Tyrannosauruses. Some wooly mammoths would also be a nice bonus. We’d definitely endorse this park…that is, until the Indominus Rex breaks loose.

#8: Deport Piers Morgan
109,334 Signatures

People tend to get really heated when it comes to gun control. Either you’re dead set against it or dead set for it. In Piers Morgan’s case, he’s criticized America’s gun laws on numerous occasions. Because of his attacks on the Second Amendment, a petition was created to deport this British CNN television host. Whether you agree with Morgan or not, kicking him out of the country for expressing his opinion doesn’t sound very American. As a matter of fact, it goes against everything the First Amendment says. Pretty hypocritical, wouldn’t you say?

#7: Ban “Grand Theft Auto V” in Australia
48,807 Signatures

Arguably the biggest, bloodiest, and most insanely fun addition to the popular video game franchise yet, “GTAV” generated a storm of controversy. One element of that storm was a petition was created to ban “GTAV” from Target Australia, which labeled it “a game of bashing, killing and horrific violence against women. Due to the majority view of their customers, the game was taken off the shelves at Target – and Kmart. The petition ignited some passionate debates concerning censorship, as well as a satirical petition to withdraw the Holy Bible for encouraging “readers to commit sexual violence and kill women.”

#6: Stockwell Day to Doris Day
Estimated 1,200,000 Signatures

During Canada’s 2000 federal election, comedian Rick Mercer of “This Hour Has 22 Minutes,” encouraged viewers to sign a peculiar online petition. The goal: to make Canadian Alliance leader Stockwell Day change his name to that of singer-actress Doris Day. This was prompted by Stockwell Day’s stance that if only three percent of the voting population, or 350,000 people, endorsedany petition, it would trigger a national referendum. Mercer says he launched the petition to demonstrate that any idiot could trigger a referendum under that policy. Stockwell Day’s response? “Que será, será.”

#5: Trade Diplomas for Tuition Refunds
1,383 Signatures

Since tuition is so expensive and students sometimes spend years paying off their loans, many have questioned whether college is worth the price of admission. It doesn’t help that numerous people are unable to find gainful employment after college. That’s why this petition suggests that university graduates should be able to trade their diplomas back for a 100% tuition refund. Of course if students did so, the last four years of their lives would’ve been pointless. Meanwhile, the university would lose all their funding. It doesn’t take a college education to understand why this wouldn’t work.

#4: R. Kelly’s National Anthem
12,395 Signatures

Say what you will about R. Kelly, but the guy has given us some intoxicating music over the years. One fan loved Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” so much that he actually proposed that the song become America’s new national anthem. The petition suggests “America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814.” Of course this petition is about as probable as changing the British National Anthem to Spandau Ballet’s “Gold.” Still, kids today could use a hip new song that’ll make them want to salute the flag and party on at the same time.

#3: Logos for Congressmen and Senators
36,824 Signatures

Most people running for office depend on wealthy supporters to fund their campaign. Since a sponsor can say a lot about a person, this petition proposes full transparency, with congressmen and senators wear the logos of their financial backers. You know, like NASCAR drivers do. When watching a presidential debate, though, the last thing we should be thinking about is whether a candidate prefers Coke or Pepsi. John F. Kennedy’s Inaugural Address wouldn’t pack as much of a punch if he were wearing a McDonald’s patch. We already see advertisements everywhere else. Is product placement in politics really necessary?

Whoever cooked up this ludicrous petition clearly didn’t get the memo that “National Treasure” was only a movie. An improbable movie we might add. Nevertheless, this petition insists that Cage “should be rewarded for his work as an actor and a historian by being given the Declaration of Independence.” “Having stolen the Declaration once, he is clearly capable of doing so again, but chooses not to out of the kindness of his heart.” Seeing as how Cage can’t even keep track of his own finances, it’s probably not the best idea to trust him with one of America’s most important documents.

Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
- Make “The Rock” the Official Movie of America
14 Signatures
- 9/11 Memorial Must Install Hundreds of American Flags
1,870 Signatures
- Recognize Sasquatch as an Indigenous Species
1,314 Signatures
- Designate May 20th as Macho Man Randy Savage Day
4,895 Signatures

#1: Create a Death Star
34,435 Signature

Absurd, sure, but wouldn’t it be the coolest thing ever if the United States built a fully functional Death Star? Alas, fanboys didn’t get the petition response they were looking for. Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, explained why a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. For starters, “the Administration does not support blowing up planets” and construction would cost “$850,000,000,000,000,000.” (850 quadrillion) Oh well, maybe Disney can build a Death Star now that they own “Star Wars.” U.S. taxpayers may not have a few quadrillion dollars to spare, but Mickey Mouse might!

Do you agree with our list? What’s your most outrageous online petition you’ve come across? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.