Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Baby steps

So I was up until almost 2 am last night working on paperwork, then I was up at 6:30 to get myself showered and all 3 boys ready and out the door before 9:00 when we needed to be to the police station getting my fingerprints done. It's sad when you feel like you've just run a marathon by the time you leave the house at 9:00 am...and things are just starting.

Mark met me at the police station to do fingerprints. He had already gone into work that morning to do paperwork. He had actually blocked out the first half of this day as an administrative day to catch up on paperwork, so that was the only reason we were able to pack all of these business-hour-only items in today. Anyway! I must say that the best part of the fingerprinting was the scrub we got to use to wash the ink off our hands afterwards. My hands are feeling pretty darn smooth now.

Then we rushed to Ogden to WIA for a meeting with our caseworker. He talked with the boys, did our couple interview, and then scheduled a time for Mark to come in and do his individual interview. The boys were pretty good - it was cute to see them answer questions and chat with Josh, but eventually they got really comfortable and then the arguing and getting into things started (followed by a poopy diaper and then goldfish crackers smashed into the carpet). They were a handful and it felt good to get everyone situated in their respective seats back in the van when we were done.

Then it was off to the Driver's License Division. Yeah! *insert sarcasm* Just one of those things we've been procrastinating. We figured that we probably should get a Utah Driver's License since we've lived here nearly 2 years and we're asking Utah (and Arizona where we're currently licensed) to do a state background check on us.

We quickly filled out the forms while the boys ran back and forth (drove me nuts), helped each other reach the drinking fountain (ew), and potty breaks became necessary. Once papers were done we waited in line, got our pictures done, and were given a number to wait for our turn. Mark sailed through just fine, but I found out that one of my documents wasn't acceptable for a SSN verification (I can't find my card). I was told that I either have to order a new social security card or get a 1099 form from our financial institution. We also found out that we had to take a written driver's test. Mark needed to get back to work (we came in separate cars), so while he started his written test I left to go figure out my 1099 situation. I called America First CU, figured out the closest branch, called them and talked about what I needed. They said that there is no way for them to print a 1099 that has the full social security number on it anymore (which is what I needed). The SSN is automatically truncated for security. So, I was stuck again. Luckily the girl I was talking to knew that they only started doing that a few years ago, so she thought of going back to a 1099 a few years prior and bingo - she was able to print a 1099 for 2009 that had my full social security number on it.

I was so focused on getting all these things done that I was surprised when I arrived at the credit union branch to pick up my paper...and saw my brother Josh! I forgot he worked at that branch! So, that was fun.

At this point the kids were at the end of their rope. They had been running errands all day, they were hot and hungry for lunch...a revolt was beginning. Oh, I know what sounds like a good idea when the boys are like this...take them all BACK to the driver's license division and do that over again and then take a written test while they wait patiently. Yeah, right.

Instead, we grabbed a bite to eat on the go and drove to Mark's work. When I explained my situation my mom offered to help out (she was out finishing errands). So, she headed to Mark's office and while we waited for her to get there (which wasn't long) one of his nice employees (Dani) came down and waited with them in the van and I sped off in Mark's car to finish up with my driver's license. Once my mom got there she had the smart idea of just taking the boys to her house and leaving me her car.

Things went pretty smoothly (other than the terrible headache that came on while I was there) with the driver's license. I was glad there were no issues with the form being from 2009. I walked out with my temporary driver's license, swapped Mark's car for my mom's and headed to pick up the boys.

I got home around 3:30 and we were all exhausted. Max went down without objection for his nap and I started looking at what we need to do next with this seemingly never-ending checklist of things to do for our homestudy and dossier. I was feeling a bit burned out and thought that maybe it would help if I vented about or re-capped my day so far. I am pretty darn tired between so little sleep last night and then wrangling the rascals amidst things today. So glad for the help I had though - things wouldn't have been possible without it, that's for sure.

Now that I've purged all of that I do feel a tad bit better. It's better for me to blab here (to a post that likely nobody will ever read once I publish this blog someday) than to want to recap every boring detail to some poor soul.

I can not even imagine how good it will feel to have the homestudy and dossier done and to drop the last item in the mail. That feels too far away and too close to get it done in time - all at once.

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About Me

We live back in Utah now where I am lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom and Mark is a foot/ankle doc. We have been blessed with three beautiful boys...one through adoption, and two through in-vitro fertilization. Every child is a miracle, but that is our story...and this blog is about us awaiting our next miracle as we journey through the process of international adoption. Feel free to follow us through the ups and downs (one miracle at a time)!

Our Adoption Timeline

International adoption has had a place in my heart since I was very young. In the fall of 2000 Mark and I had a sincere heart to heart about that (before getting engaged) and agreed that was something we were committed to wanting to do together when the time was right. At the time we were leaning toward an adoption from Asia (likely China).

3/2006 After an unexpected several year struggle with infertility we adopted our first son (domestically).

8/2006 We began paperwork to adopt from Haiti (through West Sands Adoptions) until we were presented with an offer for a paid IVF cycle, which worked and we became pregnant with our 2nd son. Later we used our remaining frozen embryos for a final IVF cycle, which resulted in our 3rd son.

12/2010 Haiti was dealing with the aftermath of its big earthquake earlier that year & starting an adoption at that time would be difficult. We started looking more seriously into different adoption programs in Africa.

2/2011 Honed in on adoption from Ethiopia and began researching agencies.

2/24/11 Webinar we scheduled with AGCI was cancelled and I decided (other than adoption blog browsing and web research), that we would shelf things and focus on our little guys until we felt it was time to pursue this.

3/11 Big changes happened within the Ethiopian government regarding adoption, and I became nervous about the slowdown with processing of Ethiopian adoptions and what that would mean down the road for us.

9/12 Felt strong tugging at my heartstrings again. Started researching adoption programs again and always came back to Ethiopia and AGCI.

10/3/12 Submitted preliminary application for Ethiopia program to AGCI!

10/5/12 AGCI requested further info to process prior to submitting our official application and fee (which we provided).

10/8/12 We were given the green light to submit our official application!

10/12/12 Send a huge list of detailed questions (in addition to those our kind coordinator had already answered) about the agency - we needed these questions answered before proceeding.

10/19/12 Received email back with detailed answers to questions, but also a request to contact them before submitting an official application (which made me nervous).

11/21/12 After reading responses from AGCI and lots more research on my part I called AGCI back and left message.

12/14/12 Finally heard back from AGCI (after 2 voicemails and emails) and they apologized that they had been backed up due to an unexpected increase in contacts after some positive media exposure (a bit on Extreme Home Makeover)...BUT they told me that although their agency was fine with approving us that they didn't think that USCIS (immigration) would clear us due to our excessive student loan debt. If that was the case we were not only not candidates for this agency or program, but for international adoption at all. I was devastated...for a few hours, and then I got on message boards and phone calls. I searched the USCIS website and called them and they said that it is based on debt/income ratio and is case by case (no $50,000 limit as had been explained to me). I also made contact with other physician families online that had $200,000+ student loan debt like us who had recently adopted. I called AGCI back with this information.

12/28/12 Got call from AGCI that their director personally took a look at our profile and approved us to move forward. She looked into where that USCIS limit info came from and it was from a case one year ago where a family was denied at immigration for excessive student loan debt (100K, but they didn't have enough income to compensate for it) and at that time the general guideline of 50K was sited at that time, and taken as a set limit by that case worker. I hope that by this information being brought to the director's attention that other families wanting to adopt won't be turned away at the screening process like we were!

12/31/12 We turned in our official application and $300 fee to AGCI!

1/7/13 Dr. letter from my cardiologist requested from AGCI, as well as personal statement from me on my heart condition.

1/16/13 Took paperwork to cardiologist and also submitted my personal statement.

1/25/13 Cardiologist faxed in his letter giving me his green light. Now we just wait for approval from the social services department and our official acceptance into the program!

2/1/13 We were notified that we needed documentation of compliance with post-placement requirements from Noah's adoption before approval. This information was provided.

2/5/13 We are officially approved with AGCI!!

2/12/13 We completed our first mandatory conference call with AGCI.

5/16/13 Paperwork notarized!

5/20/13 Had one paper re-notarized (was done wrong) and we selected a new home study agency (WIAA) since our old one is closing.

5/28/13 Received update from our agency that our likely wait time has now increased by an additional 18 months (so, now 42 months from dossier to referral) - totaling an estimated wait time of 5 years now for the whole process :(

5/31/13 Had first phone call with our assigned caseworker, Brandi, (versus our inquiry coordinator)...and then we were re-assigned to caseworker named Toni 3 days later when it was announced that Brandi departed the agency.

6/25/13 Notarized finished paperwork for local agency (WIAA) to complete our home study.

11/19/13 Submitted new paperwork to USCIS (they sent everything back and needed an updated form) & turned in one revision required for dossier.

11/20/13 Finally got the call that as of today we are on the wait list!!!!! Today is our official dossier completion date that we will track on the wait list!

12/9/13 Received letters from Homeland Security with our assigned immigration fingerprinting appointment times (different than the FBI fingerprinting we already did) necessary to receive approval for our I600A.

1/29/14 Update was received the the government does not have intention of closing their adoption program. Yay!

2/11/14 Received frustrating update from AGCI that our estimated wait time has increased to 5-6 years from log in date to referral (so 6-7 years total wait including our initial paper chase). Our LID was 11/20/13. We are remaining faithful in the Lord and His timing.

11/12/14 Received information hinting that our agency will be closing the doors on our Ethiopian adoption.

11/14 AGCI closes it's traditional Ethiopia program, leaving only open applicants for older, severe special needs children. We are heartbroken and unsure where our adoption journey will lead us...

12/12/14 After lots of intense research and prayer we turned in our initial application to adopt from Haiti with Wasatch International Adoptions

4/7/15 Verified dossier and translation (into French) sent to Haitian consulate in Chicago today for further authentication! ($950 paid: $450 for authentication and $500 to pre-pay for courier costs to Haiti)

5/18/15 Received approval notice from USCIS!!!...but now we found an error in it.

5/26/15 Received the updated USCIS approval today!

5/29/15 Complete dossier mailed off to WIAA for review!

7/31/15 AGCI (prior agency with Ethiopian adoption) officially completely closes the remainder of their program for older child special needs adoptions.