I have friends coming in from ohio today and they want to get hitched.they will be here till monday so time is short. If your qualified to do this service please contact me a.s.a.p.or pm me unclegothink2006@ yahoo.com thanx

what's the matter with you porcupine? you been actin slugnutty all day? moe howard

The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

No, I'm not really qualified. I'd have to read from a script, and I would not feel comfy considering it's people I've never met.

I'm assuming since you only said handfasting, you don't need a legal marriage officiated? If so, you'd be better off finding someone who is more familiar with the ceremony; as in, have ever seen it done (I haven't).

We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.