How To Get Your Ex Back

Feb 14, 2009

Ebooks are great because you can instantly download them and either read them from your computer or print them out. You don’t have to be embarrassed by buying them in a store with a clerk asking what kind of guy are you if you need to get your ex girlfriend back? Ebooks also allow you to find information on a topic that isn’t readily available in print form.

First of all, any get your ex girlfriend back ebook should offer you hope that it is possible. One of the ways this is done is to show you documented case studies of people who have actually gotten back together with their ex’s after using the tips and techniques in the resource. These are known in the ebook world as “testimonials.”

Secondly, you need to know whether there’s more to the course of action than “work on yourself for a month.” Most of the Get your ex girlfriend back ebooks out there say that you shouldn’t contact your ex for 30 days and use that time to work on yourself. While that may be good information, it is hardly a system that justifies your shelling out $50 to learn. I just told it to you!

You want to make sure that your ebook will be readable on a Mac if you use one of those instead of a PC. Generally, if the book is delivered in PDF format, it is readable on all computers.

Find out whether your get your ex girlfriend back ebook author will allow you to ask him questions before you buy. Having this level of customer support will assure you that the book is genuine.

Also, you should find out whether there is a money back guarantee if the system shown in the ebook doesn’t work. You don’t want to be shelling out your hard earned money for some modern day “medicine man’s” song and dance. You want the system you buy to really work.

In the short term $50 is a lot of money. You could send your ex a bouquet of flowers for that. You could take a new girl out on a good first date for that.

In the long term, however, $50 is a drop in the bucket if it will allow you and your soul mate to reconcile.

But, while some get your ex back ebooks do cost this much or more, the one I recommend is not that much money. You can get The Magic of Making Up for just $37. It has all of the features I talked about – hope that the system really does work, testimonials, a complete course of action that doesn’t boil down to a single sentence, readability on all computer systems, and pre and post purchase author support.

Feb 13, 2009

Do you want to get ex girlfriend back? In three quarters of break ups, women are the ones who call it quits. As you are probably aware by this time in your life, women are irrational creatures. They don’t always say or do what is in their best interest. Often, within days of a break up, a woman is ready to get back together. But, she’s embarrassed that she made a scene and won’t tell you that she’d like to reconcile. Unless you make a move, you are at a stalemate with the situation being that you are broken up. So, it is up to you to get ex girlfriend back.

To get ex girlfriend back, you have to pursue a two pronged approach. The first thing you have to do is show her that you are desirable. The second thing is to show her you are available and you want her back.

If there was a core reason for the break up, you need to address that. For instance, when Scott and Rachel first started going out, he took her to plays and concerts because she really enjoyed the arts. As they got more settled in their relationship, dates increasingly revolved around his passion for sports. In fact, after Rachel called the relationship off, Scott realized that they hadn’t done an arts event in nearly four months.

Scott realized that in order to get ex girlfriend back, he had to show her the fun parts that she had been missing from the relationship.

Scott didn’t bombard Rachel with calls and text messages immediately. He gave her her space. But a couple weeks after the break up, he casually mentioned that he had two tickets to the symphony and asked whether she would like to go “just as friends.”

Of course, Rachel jumped at the chance to do something she liked with the man she was still in love with. Scott and Rachel went to the concert and then he took her to a romantic restaurant where he bought the best bottle of wine on the menu. Rachel was blown away by the “new” Scott and started hinting that she wouldn’t mind restarting the relationship.

At this point, the ball was in Scott’s court. He now had the upper hand to define how they were going to get back together. Get ex girlfriend back meant getting her on his terms.

He told Rachel that he had enjoyed the evening and he looked forward to more just like it. But he also enjoyed sports and hoped that if they got back together she would be willing to learn more about offside and fouls.

Because she was in a great mood, she agreed. The new terms for going forward with the relationship had been set and everyone was happy.

Remember, Rachel broke up with Scott in a fit of pique. But she didn’t really want to end the relationship. Scott handled everything just right in realizing what was lacking, fixing it, and then proceeding under a new set of rules.

Feb 12, 2009

John wanted to get an ex girlfriend back. John was a veteran of the war in Iraq and he knew that he had to make a battle plan to get an ex girlfriend back.

John’s ex, a woman named Macy, broke up with him because she had met someone else, in this case a poet. John knew that while Macy had an artistic streak, she wasn’t going to ultimately be happy with someone whose idea of a good time was rhyming couplets. In short, the poet wasn’t the kind of man that John was.

So, John set out a battle plan to get an ex girlfriend back. There were three prongs to his approach.

The first thing he did was to smooth out the rough edges on himself. He let his crew cut grow out and had a short stylish haircut. He also started reading some of the books Macy had mentioned in the past. He figured that to get an ex girlfriend back, he had to be the kind of boyfriend she wanted.

The next prong of attack was to show her that he was a virile man that other women wanted. He called up Sarah, a friend of Macy’s, and asked her if she wanted to go to dinner as a casual date. When she said yes, John texted Macy and asked where Sarah might like to go on a date.

Macy immediately called John and wanted to know why he was taking Sarah out. John told her that they were broken up and he was moving on. He had always thought Sarah was an interesting person and thought it might be a good time to get to know her. If Macy had any objections, maybe she should reconsider the break up.

Macy slammed down the phone, which John expected. But he had planted the idea with Macy that he was a desirable guy. This was all part of his get an ex girlfriend back strategy.

The third prong of attack was to use the date with Sarah to get information back to Macy. John was the perfect gentleman on his date with Sarah. He brought her a single rose when he picked her up. He took her to a nice restaurant. And, on the date, he talked about the fabulous books he had been reading lately.

Then, when he dropped her off, he gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek but didn’t go any further. The next day, he sent her a lovely bouquet and said “I had a really good time. I hope you did too.”

Sarah, of course, was on the phone with Macy immediately. She wanted to know why Macy had broken off a relationship with such a great guy.

Meanwhile, the luster had gone off the relationship with the Poet, and Macy was missing John a lot.

Macy called John a couple of days after his date with Sarah and wanted to know if the two of them could try starting up their relationship again.

Feb 11, 2009

When you have been dumped, there are any number of theories about how to win ex back. Most of them involve playing head games with your ex. But, when you mess with her head just to win her back, you are on a shaky foundation for moving forward in the relationship when things are patched up. This article is the no-games way to win ex back.

When you were going out, she would text you two dozen times a day. Now your phone is silent. While you don’t want to overdo it, calling her once a week or so just to “keep in touch” keeps the door open for a reconciliation.

To this end, make sure that you call her on important days like her birthday. Sending a card or a small gift wouldn’t hurt either when you are trying to win ex back.

Keep in touch by email. If there is a news story she might enjoy – whether it is about poverty in Africa or a profile of Shane West – send it to her with a nice (short) note. You can also start a email list where you send out information, jokes, or personal updates to a group of friends and make sure she is on the responder list.

You also have to decide whether you want to want to date other girls during the period when you are trying to win ex back. If you are serious that you are going to win ex back, you won’t date other girls. If you are even thinking about getting back together, do not sleep with another woman. This goes against some dating advice that says you should date around to make your ex jealous. But playing games like this will not serve you well when you do get back together.

Don’t be jealous when she dates other guys though. She called it off, remember, so she’s not cheating when she sees men. You can use the information about what she looks for in a man when you analyze the kind of men she’s dating.

For instance, if she broke things off with you because you had gotten too complacent in the relationship, she may be seeing men who sweep her off her feet. If you were the beer and football type and she’s now dating artists and poets, you may need to develop a more sensitive side in order to win ex back.

When you analyze and study the woman who broke up with you, you will be able to see what she really needs in a man. Remember, that now that you are no longer a couple, there are layers being built up between the two of you. In some ways, this actually makes it easier to see what she needs from a man because your own emotions, feelings, and needs are less at play. Read into the things she says and the things she doesn’t say. Look at her actions as well.

Hold your own cards close to your chest. The power in your relationship has shifted. When you spill out your deepest emotions to your ex, you give her too much power. If you tell her that she is the one person who you need in your life, she suddenly can dictate the future. When you hold your own cards close to your chest, you preserve your own power which is necessary for restoration of the relationship after you win ex back.

During the time when you are broken up, work on yourself. Make sure you hit the gym regularly so you look good. Get a hair cut too and even consider a new style. Also, work on your mind as well as your body. By spending time on self improvement, you become more attractive to your ex.

The bottom line is that you can try to get your ex back by playing games or you can try to fix the problems that your relationship had. When you work on the problems, you build a more solid foundation for the future when you have already accomplished win ex back.

Feb 10, 2009

Are you getting over break up right now? Do you hurt so bad that you feel like your heart is going to explode? Do you want to see the other person one minute and want to kill them the next? That is all par for the course when you are getting over break up.

Just as there are stages of grief when mourning someone who has diet, there are also steps that must be taken when getting over break up. One woman whose first husband died and second husband divorced her said that it was actually easier getting over the death of a husband than it was recovering from divorce. That is because there’s societal support when someone dies, but you are supposed to go about getting over break up on your own.

The first thing you should do is sit down and write a long letter to your ex. Pour out your heart. Share the experiences you had together. Tell him or her why you loved them. Put on paper how you feel about the break up. Call them names. It’s okay to emote in this letter because no one is ever going to see it. That is because you are going to light a candle and burn the letter over the candle’s flame. There are not many rituals that go along with breaking up, but this one can help you on the road to emotional recovery.

Next, you need to arrange to exchange stuff. If you have been in a relationship of any length, you probably have some stuff of his at your place and he’s got your things at his. You probably want much of this stuff back and he or she is equally eager to get theirs. Work out a time for a mutual exchange.

If there are things of your ex’s that aren’t going to be exchanged, either box them up or throw them away. Don’t leave your ex’s toothbrush lying around the bathroom because it will only remind you of them as you are trying to go about getting over break up.

It is also a good idea to box up any gifts your ex gave you for a time. Wearing a watch that your ex gave you will make you think of them every time you check to see what time it is. That’s just not a good idea when getting over break up.

There are sometimes financial matters that need to be straightened out when getting over a break up. If you owe your ex money, try to either pay it off from your own funds or get another loan to pay it off. If you have a checking account together, work out how you are going to divvy it up and then go to the bank to close it.

What you should be seeing is a pattern of closing out the parts of your lives that you shared. This is essential to getting over break up.

After you have done what is necessary, agree to have no contact for thirty days. This will allow you to start building separate lives. You shouldn’t call, text, email, or meet the other person during this time. You may even want to agree that some places such as a specific bar or even a given church “belong” to one party or the other during this month long period.

After you have had time to begin building a separate life, you will be able to interact more normally once again. This is a difficult time, so give yourself the space you need in order to go about getting over break up.

Feb 9, 2009

Do you want to get back together with ex? Don’t write off the relationship just because she dumped you.

Women are fickle creatures. In 3 out of every 4 break ups, it is the woman who calls it off. But, many times they’re open to re-establishing the relationship. Breaking up may not have been a well thought out decision, but they are loathe to admit they are wrong and come back to you themselves.

Part of your job is to figure out what went wrong and change it. If she was bored in the relationship, you need to spice things up. If she was looking for a flashier guy, a makeover might be in order. And, if you were too needy, you might just need to back off for a time.

Right now, if you want to get back together with ex, you need to show her that you are exactly the kind of guy she wants to date.

One of the ways to get back together with ex is to show her that you are an in demand kind of guy. Every girl says she wants to be unique. They look for “unique” styles. But you will quickly notice that what they really want is a “unique” look that is just like all of their friends’ looks.

So, to become the in-demand guy, you have to start dating in-demand girls. In fact, dating her close friends will actually make her want to get back together with you.

If you are uncomfortable dating people who might continue to be in your life after you get back together with your ex, you can at least flirt with them. When you see your ex with a pack of her friends, don’t pay any attention to her. Instead, lavish attention on her friends. If she has a particularly plain friend, spend the most time with her. That’s one way to get back together with ex.

Look at how she reacts to you when other guys are around. When someone puts you down, does she stand up for you? That is a good sign that she is still into you and will welcome you back into her life.

When you want to get back together with ex, you need to realize that there is a new power relationship at play. You no longer belong to each other exclusively. Instead, you are two independent spheres rotating around the other.

Many guys don’t realize that this power shift has occurred. While they are down in the dumps about the break up, they don’t change their behavior pattern toward their ex. This is a big mistake.

When you want to get back together with ex, you will take advantage of the shift in power. You will woo her by changing the things that she doesn’t like about you or the relationship, become the in-demand guy that all girls want to date, and be a little bit unavailable to her. If these things don’t work, she probably has moved on and you won’t have much hope of jump starting anything.

However, in almost all cases, because women are fickle creatures, you can get back together with ex.

Feb 8, 2009

Did your boyfriend break up with you? This is a rough time in your life. You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up.

First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection. The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues. You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

You can spend time trying to get your ex back. If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:

· Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him. So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.

· It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence. It may even make him want you back more.

· When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.

But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.

One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart. You can talk about the good times and bad. You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names. But, don’t mail the letter! Instead, take a candle out and burn it. This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.

The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange. Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in. Get the econ textbook you lent him. If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away. Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him. If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being. If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.

After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days. This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.

It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you. But it isn’t the end of your life. You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.

Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut. If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.

Feb 7, 2009

Everyone does it. Not everyone loves it. Whether you enjoy dating or find it stressful and horrible, you know that if you are ever going to find the one person who can stop your dating life forever, you have to do it. Gentlemen, you simply have to date girls if you are ever going to find the perfect one for you. So, here is some good advice for you.

Successful dating can be broken down into the five most important things about dating girls.They are:

Girls are not guys. They do not think it is fun to make noises by placing their hands under their armpits and acting like a winged creature. Even if they are drunk, they don’t like this. Save this type of behavior for guy’s night.

Girls are not guys. They do not think it is cool to brag about your previous relationship conquests. They do not want to know about the ditzy blonde who had nothing to say but had the most amazing rack ever created. Nor do they think it is great to have their guy greeted by every woman in the place. Take your date to a different place just to be on the safe side and never, never, never mention your ex-girlfriend.

Girls are not guys. They do not like to see you show up at their door in your ratty old jeans with a cheap five-buck pizza in hand. Trust me on this one. Maybe later – way later, like after the kids become teenagers – it will be okay for this kind of thing to happen. But for now, please, guys: take a shower, put on something nice like khakis and a pullover shirt, and have flowers in hand instead of greasy fast food.

Girls are not guys. They do not love it when their date pulls out buy-one-get-one-free coupons at the restaurant cash register. There is nothing wrong with a bargain, especially in these tough economic times, but use those freebies when you go out with your mom (who will love your thriftiness) or your best buddy (who wouldn’t notice or care how you paid). Don’t make your date think that she is not worth full price.

Girls are not guys. They do not find burping and farting contests hilariously interesting and entertaining. Who can come up with most-silent-but-most-deadly one without any prior warning is nothing to be proud of, according to the female half of the population. Neither is it way cool to be able to belch out the melody to “The Star-Spangled Banner.” Again, save it for football night with the frat brothers.

Remembering the five most important things to remember about dating girls will take you farther than anything else when it comes to having a great time on your dates. The five most important things to remember about dating girls will also allow you to get more than one date with the same lady. There are lots of people who will offer you lots of advice about dating, and even some who will simply say, “Be yourself.”

That is not terrible advice, but trust me, if being yourself includes any of the forbidden behavior in the five most important things to remember when dating girls list, don’t be yourself. Be better. Remember these five most important things about dating girls and have a better dating life.

Feb 6, 2009

If you are saying "he dumped me. How will I ever survive?" mere words in an article will not give you comfort. It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.

When you’ve been in the position that "he dumped me," you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.

Take heart, dear. The fear is real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.

You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.

In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, "he dumped me," that allows them to be vulnerable about how they've been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn't interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.

If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say "he dumped me," what you tell yourself is that you are worthless. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.

There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.

As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.

The truth is that you will find someone to date again. Your soul mate is out there.

Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.

And, always remember, the best revenge when "he dumped me" is moving on!

Feb 5, 2009

Do you want to win ex back? If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here’s how to win ex back.

First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don’t want to lose your ex because he’s like an old slipper. But comfort doesn’t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.

And that next step is examining how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on – communication, time management, goal awareness – then you can win ex back. But, if the problem was deeper – he was no longer in love with you – you should start to move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you. Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.

If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.

Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment. Don’t call, text, or stalk him. You don’t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him.

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in win ex back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party. Let him know he’s free to bring a date.

Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either he’s in love with you or he isn’t. You can’t change who you are to win ex back. You can only be yourself.

Feb 4, 2009

You are home after a date with yet another guy. It didn’t go well. You find yourself saying I want ex back.

After a break up, you may move on to other people. But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?

There are, and in this article, I present you with five strategies for when you want ex back.

First, clear your energy from other people. Don’t invest time and energy in men who aren’t your ex. For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him. If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.

Next, keep your dignity. Don’t chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him. Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well. Don’t be a doormat. You will only command your ex’s respect and love when you are yourself at your best. Hold your head high. You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.

Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them. Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations. Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points. This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.

Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances. Go to new places and try new things. Take up a new hobby together. Meet new people. By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work. Don’t fall into the same old patterns of your relationship. You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch. If you were living together, try having separate places for a while. If you were engaged, try just dating. Don’t try to force your relationship back into old patterns.

Finally, create a shared sense of destiny. While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script. Map out with your partner where you want to go. When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.

Feb 3, 2009

Okay, I’ll admit, I’ve been dumped. More than once. More than I’d like to admit, actually. And, while it hurt quite a bit each time, I have to say that I have grown from the experiences. So, here are some things I’ve learned from women who've dumped me.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me #1: It takes two.

Often with the pain and heartbreak of a break up, it is easy to blame the other person for your misery. But the truth is that if the relationship was no longer working, you were part of the problem. Evaluate what went on so that you can apply the lessons to your next relationship.

Women like to cuddle and snuggle. They may seem to always be around. But they need their personal space too. Men have a tendency to be possessive. We want to keep tabs on where they’re going and what they’re doing there. If any woman has ever cheated on you, this instinct becomes stronger. But, trust is a key component in a relationship. When you invade her personal space, you send the message that you don’t trust your girlfriend. This can easily lead to the end of the relationship.

When you wake up in the morning and the hurt’s so real, you may believe that you will never get over the break up. But the truth is that not only does time heal all pain, but you will emerge from the break up a stronger person. As philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said, “that which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.”

Coming to accept that a relationship wasn’t meant to be is a key factor in healing. If you had started projecting your relationship into the future – considering marriage, thinking about children – and then the woman you were with broke everything off, consider it a blessing. It is better to end a relationship that wasn’t meant to be earlier rather than later.

Finally, the last lesson I want to share with you is that you can’t control what happened, but you can control to how you react to what happened. If you want good things to happen in the future, you have to make them happen.

That means getting back on the horse. Go out, meet new women. Have some fun. Eventually, you will find another relationship. And, if you have followed the advice in this article about things I’ve learned from women who ve dumped me, the relationship will be even better and stronger than the last one.

Feb 2, 2009

Getting an ex back is hard if you were the one being dumped. But imagine how you would feel if you were the one who did the dumping? That is the position that Aimee found herself in and she had to go about getting an ex back.

Aimee’s so called friend Renee told her that her boyfriend Jaime had been sleeping with another woman. Without verifying the information or even asking Jaime about it, Aimee confronted Jaime and accused him of having an affair. This took Jaime by complete surprise because he had no inkling that the rumor was circulating, and he didn’t do a good job of defending himself. Aimee unceremoniously dumped him.

A few days later, Aimee found out that Renee had been lying for her own jealous, petty reasons. Now Aimee was in a quandary. Getting an ex back was important to her, but she also wanted to save face.

Aimee called up Jaime and explained what had happened. But Jaime was in no mood to take her back. Aimee had hurt him by not trusting him and not even talking things over with him.

Getting an ex back took all of Aimee’s wiles.

First of all, Aimee wrote Jaime a long letter of apology. She took responsibility for what happened and promised that it would never happen again. She reminded Jaime that they had a long history together and that they had shared some beautiful times. She said that she didn’t want to throw all of that away. She told him that the reason she acted the way she did was because she loved him and couldn’t stand the though of his being with another woman. The thought of losing him forever was painful.

After she had mailed the letter, she didn’t bother him with constant texts or phone calls. She figured that getting an ex back after a situation like this one required that she give Jaime his space.

When she did run into Jaime, she was as nice as she could be. She worked positive memories into the conversation casually. She didn’t apologize any further though. She had told him both in person and in writing that she was sorry and let it go at that.

One day, Aimee got tickets for Jaime’s favorite band which was in town for one concert only. She asked Jaime to go with her “just as friends.” In this way, she opened the door to a future relationship without crowding him.

Getting an ex back after you have behaved badly and dumped him is difficult. Not only do you have the embarrassment of having to apologize, but you almost have to start from scratch again on the relationship. Rebuilding the trust is a key component in this period.

Jaime and Aimee did eventually get back together. Jaime came to see that Aimee’s outburst was the act of a jealous woman who deeply loved him. He saw it as a mistake that they could both grow from. Their relationship became stronger than ever.

Feb 1, 2009

If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process. Sometimes it’s a slow process, too. You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again. That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.

If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss. It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.

If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out. It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible. Photographs of them can be put away for a while. Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed. You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while. This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.

If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling. Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love. A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.

Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well. Some may have motives for help you get over the person. They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly. With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to. If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.

Jan 31, 2009

If you’ve had a break-up, you’re probably either trying to figure out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love. Neither is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different. You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea.

If you decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think you’ve done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something that you need to apologize for, apologize again. Now they might think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If the relationship has ended, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they will believe that you really mean it. (And hopefully, you do.)

When your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them, forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future, too.

If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. If you haven’t forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past. While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll save yourself lots of grief down the road.

Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped. They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt. While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.

Jan 30, 2009

First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder, how can I stop my divorce? you should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You’ll need to swallow your pride and go to your spouse with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.

This might seem a difficult step, but it’s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a good idea, too. When you want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.

If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a divorce. Chances are that you’ve done this, more than once. But the way you say it can make a difference.

It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about it. That’s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her even more reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest marital counseling. Explain, “I want to stop my divorce,” but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were, and you’re ready to make them better.

Jan 29, 2009

How get your ex back? This is the lament of every guy who has ever been dumped. Did you know that in three quarters of break ups, it is the girl who calls the whole thing off? Guys generally want to stay together with their girlfriends. This article is about how to get ex back.

First of all, you have to determine whether she did you a favor by dumping you. Too often, guys stick with girls out of inertia. It is easier to stay in an okay relationship than go out and look for a really good one. If you don’t feel that the girl who dumped you was your soul mate, consider that her calling things off might be a blessing in disguise.

If this is not the case and you still want get your ex back, read on.

The next step is to determine whether she loves you. Girls can be fickle. They are much more likely to act impulsively and then have regrets about what they did. If you think she still loves you, you have a good chance at ho get your ex back.

In this case, you have to make her come to you. Many guys call their ex’s numerous times, send hundreds of texts, and exhibit other such stalkerish behavior. This just pushes their girlfriends away.

Instead, seem like you are accepting of the break up. Move on. Date other girls – especially girls in her circle. By making her come back to you instead of the other way around, you will go about how get your ex back.

During this time, you should analyze whether you have changed from the many she first fell in love with. Often, guys try to impress girls up front. But, once they have slipped into a comfortable relationship with their girlfriend, they slag off. For instance, are you still working out as often as you did? Toward the end, were you still opening her car door, buying her flowers, and generally romancing her the way you did at the beginning of the relationship? These things can make a big difference in how get your ex back.

When you do see your ex girlfriend, subtly remind her of your common bonds. If you are going to go to a party where you know she’s going to be, wear a shirt she gave you. If she has a favorite cologne, wear it. And, when you talk, bring up the positive things in your past. Don’t beat her over the head with them, but make her nostalgic about your common history.

Invite her to non-committal type of events. If a group of friends are going to the beach, ask her to come along. Begin seeing her in social settings once again. When she comes along, pay some attention to her, but spend your time with your friends and other girls too. When she sees that you are an attractive catch, you’ve already won half the battle of how get your ex back.

Jan 28, 2009

If you’ve just been through a breakup, you’re probably wondering, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” at least several times a day. Every relationship is different, so every break up is different. But there are some things you can do to help get him back.

Be nice.

That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It’s not. If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less.

The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake.

If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend.

If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now. You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together.

You can’t change the past, but do remember that later when you’re back together. Point it out to him, and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now.

Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?

This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship. You’re part of the past, and not a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?

No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later. What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?

It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on. If you really feel the need to date, then do so if you need that to be happy.

But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you. Games like this usually don’t work. Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

If you’ve ever been through a sad break-up with someone you’ve love, you may have written a heartbroken poem. You may have even written such a poem for things like the loss of a pet or a family member, sadness at moving away from your friends, or any number of sad life events. But it seems nothing inspires such sad poetry as a break-up or divorce. Just as few things inspire love poetry quite like being in a happy, loving relationship.

Poetry is an excellent medium for self-expression. Unless you’re writing poetry with the hope of having it published one day, you can write poetry however you like. It doesn’t have to be good poetry. You don’t have to understand any of the poetic terms or conventions like rhyme, meter or free verse. You don’t even have to have ever read a really good poem in your life to write a heartbroken poem that can help you feel better and maybe help you heal from the pain of a break-up.

An important early step in getting over a break-up or any sad situation is simply facing the pain. While it might feel better to avoid dealing with the reality of the situation, you can’t really move past it without facing it and feeling the pain, at least for a while. So facing up to whatever painful situation is happening is necessary. A heartbroken poem can help you deal with those painful feelings when you’ve split with someone you love.

Don’t worry about whether it’s good or not. No one else ever has to read your heartbroken poem. It’s for you and you alone. Just write down your feelings, as hard as that may be. You can write in plain language. Don’t try to imitate the poets of the 17th and 18th century. Write like you talk, and break the lines where it feels natural to you. In fact, you can start by writing one huge paragraph filled with all your feelings and everything you want to express, just to get it out. Then you can go back and arrange your thoughts and feelings into a poem.

Once you’ve written a heartbroken poem, you might want to write more about different parts of the pain. That’s good. Get down everything you can, and that will help you to face the pain. Writing the poetry will probably be a very emotional time for you. Don’t try to stop it. Just let the pain out and you’ll be better able to move on.

If you decide you want to share your heartbroken poem, you can show family or friends. Or if you want to share it but not with anyone you know, you can put it online. There are websites designed just for such things. You can upload your poetry for free and let other people know if you want to receive criticism or not. You might opt to not receive comments on your heartbroken poem and just enjoy the fact that you’ve shared your experience.

Jan 27, 2009

If you really want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, there are a number of steps that you can follow to have more success than if you just wing it and hope for the best. Breakups happen, but they do not necessarily have to be forever. Here are five steps that will allow you to subtlety let your ex girlfriend know that you're still interested in being a fixture in her life, so that you can potentially rekindle things in the right away.

5 - If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, start by reaching out and touching her. Playing too hard to get is not the best way to approach this, though communication should be scaled back. Reach out to her and let her know subtlety that you are still interested in being a part of her life.

4 - Drop her an e-mail to keep in touch. If you do not find casual, easy going methods of communication with your ex, you will never be able to get her back. Staying in touch is absolutely vital, but keep it to casual messages like "Hey, what's up?" rather than overwhelming her inbox with love poetry.

3 - If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, stay away from other girls. Sure, she may be understanding enough to let it slide if you begin to peruse other "prospects", but if you want to get your girlfriend back, stay away from other ladies.

2 - Remember the important things. Part of learning how to get your ex girlfriend back means treating your girl like a princess. One of the easiest ways to do this is to show her that you care by remembering the most important anniversaries and dates in her life. Send her a card on her birthday, and let her know you're thinking about her in a harmless and positive way.

1 - Call and text, but use discretion when reaching out to her. You should not be afraid to send your ex girlfriend a text message, or drop her a line here and there. Uncertainty is something that should be avoided in life and love, so call her up and let her know what's going on so that she knows where you are and what you're doing, and doesn't have to imagine that you're out having fun without her, or with another woman. Let her know you care, and that you still think about her. If she knows she's still in your thoughts so frequently, it will contribute heavily to how quickly she will want to rekindle things with you.

There is no exact process or science to the process of learning how to get your ex girlfriend back, but there are some pretty clear cut suggestions out there that will steer you in the right direction. Obviously maintaining contact and communication is absolutely vital to the rekindling process, but do not over do it, otherwise you may scare her away.

Relationship counseling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counseling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counseling is certainly something that a couple shouldn’t be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counseling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counseling can even something prevent a future divorce.

Today’s couples seem more eager to try to new things, which makes counseling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counseling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn’t something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they’ll never know if relationship counseling could have helped save the marriage.

If you feel like you need relationship counseling, be sure to as your partner to go to counseling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counseling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counseling, you’re likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counseling for yourself if nothing else.

If you ask your partner to go to counseling because you have some issues you need to work on, they’re more likely to view the idea favorably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don’t accuse the other person of need counseling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don’t say so. Once you’re in relationship counseling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.

Don’t be afraid to suggest relationship counseling, whether you’ve been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It’s never too late to try counseling to resolve problems. And it’s never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you’re admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counseling. But that’s not true. But facing any obstacles now, you’re making the relationship stronger in the long run.

If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counseling means that the relationship isn’t perfect, and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn’t true. Just because you’re willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you’re willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.

If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counseling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counseling, they’re more likely to give it a try.

Jan 26, 2009

Are you having trouble get over guy? Whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, letting go of someone who you had a close relationship is very difficult. There is a space in your heart as well as a space in your life that are not quickly filled with anything or anyone else. Yet, people do get over a relationship. Here are five steps to get over guy you still like.

First, you need to let out the hurt. Know that it is okay to cry when you are trying to get over guy. Some people keep a journal of their experiences because writing about the pain helps.

One thing that I have seen some people do that is very effective is to write a long letter about the relationship to their ex boyfriend. Talk about the good times and bad. Talk about the relationship and how he hurt you. Let it all out. When you have finished the letter, burn it. That’s right. Don’t even think about sending it to your ex. Instead, let flames consume the letter. That provides excellent closure to the relationship.

Next, you have to decide that the relationship is really over. If you hold on to the thought that he will change and come back to you, you will never get over guy and move on.

Do something that symbolizes the finality of the end of the relationship. A good example of this is to exchange all of the personal property that you have of the other’s. Don’t even keep the oversized t-shirt of his that is so comfortable for sleeping in. And, if there are things to minor to exchange (like a toothbrush), throw them away. Clear your place of all of his things. It is a way of clearing him from your life.

You need to depend on your friends through this time. Until you meet your husband, guys will come and go, but your girlfriends are forever. If you have been in a hot and heavy relationship, you may have inadvertently ignored your friends for a time. Not only will your girls help you get over guy, but reconnecting will be good for your social life.

Also, your girlfriends will have had similar experiences to your break up. Sharing their pain will help you understand that, however bad the hurt you are experiencing, others have survived and you will too.

You will probably have extra time on your hands now that you have broken up. You used to spend a lot of time with your ex. Use this time productively to get over guy. Go to the gym and get your body in shape. Take up a new hobby.

One of the best things you can do during this period is to join a group or a class. Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends.

And, that brings me to my last point, when you want to get over guy, the best thing you can do is move on. Between your old friends, the new friends you make in your class or hobby, and the activities you do to fill up your time, you will emerge as a new person.

It can be a difficult time after a man breaks up with you. You probably don't feel or even act like yourself at this point. Life almost seems like it has lost its meaning with him in it. Maybe you want to get guy back.

Getting back with someone who broke up with you can be a very difficult task. For whatever reason, the other person decided that they no longer wanted to try and work things out. They just wanted it to end. It's usually easier to work out a relationship while you're still in it; as opposed to when it has ended.

With that being said, you can get guy back if he broke up with you. The most critical aspect to this is you are absolutely positive that getting back with him is exactly what you want. Make sure your motives for getting back with him are the right ones. Don't want him back just to have him back. Make sure that there are very good reasons why you want him back.

The second most critical aspect to get guy back is to realize that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Some people can make up and move on. Others, they just can't recapture the magic of the relationship they once shared. Even if you don't succeed you will know you did your best to get guy back.

If you want to get guy back, you must, and there is no room for negotiation on this, get your emotions in check. Guys do not want to be with women who can't keep their emotions under control. If you attempt to contact him while you don't have control of your emotions you may do even more damage. For example, if he was starting to miss you and think about you, but you contact him and you're an emotional mess, you may make him realize that his choice to break up with you was valid.

The best thing you can do is instead of worrying about what he's doing, or feel sad that you don't have him, is to start living your own life. You must prove to him that you can be mature about this breakup. Keep up with your daily routines. Do your hair nice, wear makeup, wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Hang out with your friends.

If you're staying active and living your life without bothering him, you will have a better chance to get him back. If you stay out of contact with him, no calls, no email, no text messages, nothing, you'll probably find that he will eventually call you, or get in touch with you.

When he does, just keep it brief. Tell him how busy you've been. Don't get mushy or gush out feelings for him. Act indifferent and aloof. This will confuse him. If he wants to see you again, make sure you look your best. Don't let him touch you or kiss you. Before you leave, if you want, give him a hug but that's it. This will drive him crazy. From this point, you should be able to get guy back pretty easily. Just take it slow.

As you can see, you can get guy back, you just have to get your emotions under control. Life your life to the fullest. Always look your best, because that will help you to feel your best. Back off, give him space. He'll most likely contact you and want to see you again. When he does, be a little bit of a tease. Make him work for your affections again.

Jan 25, 2009

How do you get guy back? How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special? This is your “get guy back” gal’s guide to making up.

First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.

Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.

If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.

Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.

You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually get guy back.

Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Get guy back may stop you from meeting him!

If you’re wondering, “Can I get my ex girlfriend back?” then the breakup probably wasn’t so devastating that you think the relationship can’t be saved. You’ll have to hope she feels the same way. If any hurt was caused during the split that you should apologize for, now’s the time to say you’re sorry. Being sorry and sincerely showing it is a good first step.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my sensitive side?

Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds tilt more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry—she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example—change your tactics until you find that something she responds to.

If flowers or cards frustrate her, for example, maybe that’s because it’s easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote. Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to figure out something more appealing. Buy a blank card and write your own verse in it. It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact it’s better if it doesn’t. Try to honestly express how you feel. Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet you put together yourself.

A common complaint among women is that men aren’t thoughtful. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful? Not necessarily, but it’s one more step toward your goal of getting her back. Every positive thing stacks up, making it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Don’t expect things to happen right away, though.

If you spent your relationship rarely doing thoughtful things, or you only did them in the beginning, she’ll probably doubt the things you do now. Just be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t appear frustrated or angry. Do the thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you’re working toward a goal.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?

If it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you’re still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?

The odds are against it, but if you can show her that she’ll be happier with you than the new boyfriend you’ll have a good chance. Being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her that. Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give up.

If it appears she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week. But don’t look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really impress her.

One other thing my friend, the points made above, are only just one step in the equation of getting your true love back. The important thing is to have a step by step plan that will lead you in your heartfelt pursuit.

Jan 24, 2009

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.

After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk things out

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3.Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.

4.Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

When I think about how I lost love, I think about Alfred Lord Tennyson’s quote, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” When I lost love, I felt the whole world had collapsed around me. I’m sharing my story in order to help you if you too have lost the love of your life.

I think it is important to remember that every relationship has a natural lifespan. In Junior High, that’s about four days. As we get older, the lifespan increases. But, there are certain relationships that are right for a period of time and then go awry. Most of us will only have one great love in our lives. The other relationships will terminate. That’s why when I say I lost love, I understand that this is a natural process.

In my case, my girlfriend and I were thinking about ratcheting up our relationship. Her lease was about to end, and she wanted to move into my apartment. As we were spending most of our time there anyway, it made sense from a financial perspective.

But there is something significant about having separate places. I know I lost love because I couldn’t handle her taking our relationship to this level. I guess the time span of our relationship was up because I wasn’t willing to become more committed.

Now, I know I handled the situation badly. I went to a friend’s bachelor party and let’s just say things got out of hand. Word about the wild antics at the party got back to my girlfriend, naturally, and she dumped me. I lost love over the events of one night.

But, when I think back on what really happened, the events of the bachelor party were really a reaction to our discussion of more commitment. I seriously don’t think I would have behaved the way I did if I really wanted her to move in. I lost love because I wasn’t ready for the direction it was taking.

I’m glad I had the chance to be in a relationship with my ex. But I don’t think she was the love of my life, my soul mate. Instead, she was someone with whom I genuinely enjoyed spending time. I loved her. I still love her. But, she is not the person with whom I see spending the rest of my life.

I went through a period of mourning the relationship and analyzing what went wrong. I really was hurt when she said she wanted to end things. Sure, I understood that I had hurt her. But, I didn’t want her to leave my life completely.

I guess what I wanted was for things to continue on the way they were. But, every relationship has to grow or die. Because I wasn’t willing to let it grow, it had to die. In every relationship, there is a time to die. And, for me, this was it. That’s how I lost love.

Jan 23, 2009

If you are wondering how you can get back with your ex girlfriend, the first thing that you need to understand is that this is a very delicate situation. Your feelings may be hurt, and her feelings may also be hurt - And it is important that you are careful about what you're doing accordingly, otherwise feelings may be hurt even worse.

Here are the considerations that you need to make when it comes to figuring out how to get back with your ex girlfriend.

1 - First and foremost, what was it that you did in order to cause the break up? Girls do not break up with guys completely out of the blue, so there is probably a really good reason behind the action even if you are not immediately aware of what it is. The first step in this process has to be to figure out what went wrong, whether or not it could have been prevented, and how can you can fix it now that you know what it is.

2 - If the break up with your ex girlfriend was entirely your fault, then the first thing that you need to do to help rekindle things is to let your ex girlfriend know that you recognize what happened, you recognize that it was your fault, and that you are sorry for your actions and the unintended consequences.

3 - You should continue to socialize with other people, even though you are trying to court your ex again. Just because you and your ex are not in contact right now, that does not mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world. You should date another girl, or at least go out and have some fun with your friends. It may even work to your advantage for you to cause some jealousy in your ex partner if you really do want to get them back.

4 - Show your ex that you have moved on, but you also need to show her that you still care about her. This is the most ideal way to eventually get her back. Let her know that you have not completely moved on, and that you still have feelings for her, and this will make you appear more mature to her, and more desirable as well.

5 - Finally, it is important that you work hard to become friends with your ex again. This will build trust, and will help to make you closer to one another.

Afterwards, you should ask her why you broke up in the first place, but be casual about it rather than appearing desperate. She will either admit that it was a mistake that the two of you broke up, or she will let you know that the break up was for the better. Once you have an answer, you can proceed from there.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it. The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance. The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest. That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup. In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship. If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

Don’t put your partner on the defensive. Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love. Be present during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional during this time. You need to respond to their needs.

Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship. Your partner may say things they don’t really mean. Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship. Or, they may need space. Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But don’t let them make you feel guilty. You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex. It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide. Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met. If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

When a relationship ends, especially if you're not the one who ended it, how to get over someone becomes very important. It’s not always easy to get over a person you’ve been with, though. If you’ve been with that person for a very long time it’s even harder. It might be pretty easy to get over a relationship that’s lasted 3 months. But if you've been with someone for 3 years, it's hard to get over that person at all, let alone get over them quickly. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to speed up the process.

When you're wondering how to get over someone, sit in a chair in your living room or bedroom, wherever there’s a very strong sense of the other person. Remove anything that reminds you of that person a great deal. This isn't always easy to do, but every little bit helps. If you've bought a dog together, for instance, of course you won’t want to get rid of the dog. But anything your ex bought for you that’s on display like a knick-knack or something hanging on the wall would be a good thing to remove for a while.

If you have lots of things that will remind you of your ex, you're probably wondering how to get over someone without making your rooms completely bare. But even if you picked out practically everything together, you don’t have to remove everything to make this work. Just choose items that have particularly strong memories.

Maybe you picked out the couch together, but it's one of the throw pillows that you bought or the figurine on the end table he or she gave you as a gift that seems to make you feel sad when you look at it. Remove those items and store them for a while, just to make things easier on you.

If you’re having a really hard time and feel that you can handle it, you can think of all your ex’s bad qualities. Of all the methods of how to get over someone, this is the one where you actually think of your ex the most, so if just the very thought of them brings you to tears you might not be ready for this step. Think of the things you disliked the most about them. If you can’t thing of anything, just move on. But most of us can come up with a long list of things we dislike about someone, especially if they were the ones to end the relationship.

A popular method of how to get over someone is to simply start dating again. Many people balk at this idea—they think they still love the ex and aren’t ready. You can do this even if you’re still in love with your ex. No one says you have to fall in love anytime soon. But dating or even going out with friends isn’t just how to get over someone, it’s how to keep from feeling sorry for yourself while you try.

Jan 22, 2009

Dealing with break up pain, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on. When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being.

Relationship breakup puts a lot of people through fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place. Dealing with break up pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling break up, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.

So why is the pain from a lost love break up so difficult? Because when dealing with a break up, it will seem as if you are the only one who has suffered the kind of pain you’re going through. It is important that you continue to try to heal rather than allowing yourself to give up on the situation. Dwelling on the painful split from your lover will not help you, so instead you should work on getting better and moving on, which will allow you to stop dealing with break up pain and start dealing with moving on and finding someone new, perhaps even someone that has a better dynamic with you.

* Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak.

* Don't dwell on the bad feelings, but focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote healing.

Your friends will probably realize that you're going through something serious, and they will more than likely dedicate themselves to trying to help you through it. If this is the case, don't blow them off, because going out and spending time with your friends and the people that you care about will be extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with break up pain. Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with break up pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Rather than allow yourself to suffer while dealing with breaking up pain, what you should do is enjoy yourself and work on healing rather than allowing yourself to become stressed out, overwhelmed or depressed by your heartbreak.

Trying to save your relationship can be a very difficult thing to do. There is always the worry thatyou'll make one wrong move and lose the person you love forever.

Unfortunately, what feels like the right thing to do, is often wrong. Most times we shouldfollow the 'counterintuitive path'. When we feel like calling is when we should stay coolinstead. When we feel like pouring our hearts out is when we should put a lid on it.As a warning, the techniques you're about to discover you may have never seen before andat first glance may look an feel wrong, but have been proven time and again to be effectivein even what seems the most complicated situations.

Counterintuitive Technique #1

The first technique you need to use is to agree with and accept the fact that your ex has broken up with you. This can be very difficult to do and the chances are good that you will have a bit of an internal battle before you're able to do so.

It can definitely help to understand why you need to accept the breakup, and how it can help you get back together. The main reason is because you need to give your ex time to respect and miss you again. The chances are that they are mad or upset with you at the moment, especially if you've beem nagging them about getting back together.

Counterintuitive Technique #2

The second technique you need to use is to cut off all communication. You're probably about ready to close your browser right now! Hold on, because this technique really does work. It helps you to accept the breakup and is the action that shows your ex you are serious.

By not communicating you are allowing your ex time to miss you and time to get over the reasons for breaking up. This space will be good for your mental health as well, and will help you to think clearly. It also sets you up for the next technique.

Counterintuitive Technique #3

The next step is to plan an event where you two can reconnect. But there are manycritical steps in between you can not leave out!

Jan 21, 2009

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.

It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts believe that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"

Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well.

Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light.

Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself. You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place. It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them. Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

Jan 20, 2009

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to "save my marriage" and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize it is possible to "save my marriage."

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can "save my marriage." Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to "save my marriage."

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don't abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to "save my marriage."

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can "save my marriage."