Archive for the Jessica Alba Category

Jessica Alba, despite being a dirty mom of two, with a vagina that has probably been ravaged, thanks to being a mom of two, you know unable to grip a cock with no hands, thanks to the damage she put it through to trap a boyfriend, cuz celebs are insecure damaged vulnerable people with trust issues and daddy issues to begin with, so they pull gutter moves, just while wearing designer clothes…..still holds a soft spot in my heart, cuz she’s Jessica Alba and despite being that mom of two, still rock’s it in a bikini well into her 30s, a cut off date I’m usually pretty strict about, more old ladies need to look like this. Fact.

For generations, Jessica Alba has tried to down play her Mexican Roots. Like Eva Longoria they didn’t want to celebrate being Mexican with a fucking dozen kids, some corn tortillas but instead celebrated being Mexican by hiring a mexican maid and gardener to boss the fuck around, because most Mexicans trying to make it in white America try to distance themselves from being Mexican, like we are third rate citizens that White people don’t like, before realizing that they should milk the Mexican card, cuz as Mexicans we support our own, even the traitors, who secretly we love for getting famous and despite not embracing Mexico in public, have Mexico in their soul, proven by her half dozen (2) babies before 30.

She’s Jessica Alba, she’s still hot, even if the sauce she puts on her taco isn’t, and taco I mean her vagina…all broken with babies and shit.

Here she is getting some votes for Latina magazine. Welcome back woman. You need all the help you can get.

I don’t know what is more offensive…the fact that she’s hanging with an Asian….dressed like an Asian…in what seems like she’s mockin’ and Asian….like a fat rich American Tourist in Japan dressed like a Gesiha girl….screaming at the locals for sushi….you know just inappropriate and not sensitive to other culture…..or the fact that she’s wearing underwear….

I remember a time when people would have died for this….but now that she’s a mom of two…it is suddenly far less interesting….in fact we kinda encourage her to keep the tights and panties on…because we don’t really want her mom pussy to throw off our impression of her…

I don’t know what compelled me to watch an interview with Jessica Alba for Women’s Health’s latest edition….but I did it….I think it had something to do with her being in some kind of crop top showing off where a couple babies ruined her career and motivated her to start some company of her own that I am pretty sure she plugs along the way but can’t be too sure cuz I muted the bitch…something I assume her husband probably wishes he had the power to do….you know ever since she trapped him into marriage by getting pregnant…it was like dude was banging her at her peak and now he’s stuck with her through her demise…but at least she’s not fat….

Jessica Alba is in a recent issue of InStyle where she’s not doing anything particularly sexy…I mean she’s posing with kids toys, which unless you’re the fucking sexy nanny I am coming home to fuck while my wife is at the hair salon, I’m not entirely interested…cuz eating a pussy that I know a baby was shat out of more than once…kinda makes me fucking sick…the whole alien parasite nesting shit I just can’t wrap my mind around because I’m either autistic or because I don’t want to believe or accept that’s how we are made….but I am willing to accept that Alba still has sex appeal…only more mature…bringing out fantasy of a wife you’d want to break down year after year…ignoring her after she threw away her dreams to be with you and have your family..who doesn’t know she’s this hot….cuz you don’t show her appreciation…and who just constantly seeks your approval not knowing millions of better dudes would treat her like a queen…but her focus, like all girls is micro….and that makes her totally devoted to you cuz you are her everything….leading to better blow jobs…true story.

There’s something about a bitch having two kids that makes her invisible….even if her body is incredible…even if she’s someone who was considered the hottest Mexican to grace shitty movies…that she never got naked in….before doing typical hoodrat Mexican shit like getting herself knocked up to lock in a man….

The only good thing about her, is that she puts all other fat lazy mom’s to shame….cuz they pretend they can’t bounce back from their uterus being used to its full, unfortunate potential…

Yeah yeah…I get it…you wish this kind of thing was your wife or what your wife looked like…but what kind of person fantasizes about a wife…that’s way too lonely, sad, hopeless romantic…fantasies should be about hot pussy.

You see cuz there are a lot of under 30s out there, pre-baby making, who look better than this without starving themselves and trying so hard to have a second go at a career

I keep holding onto the Jessica Alba dream because I am dated, out of the loop, I don’t leave my house and I don’t pay attention to the new Jessica Albas, the up and comers, the future….but after seeing her deflated mom tits in a bra, I figure it’s time to say goodbye to yesterday…

Alba’s an old lady, a mom, and even if she bends over in the rain wearing a black bra, all for the paparazzi to say “look at me, I’m still here and stylish, relevant and hot”…..I think it’s time to catalog her in the box in the basement of our minds as a teen dream we used to jerk off to and eagerly await hard nipple pics of….in a time that is long gone.

She’s done, or at least I’m done with her, but here’s one more run of Jessica Alba for the believers.

There is something that comes with being a mother that is amazing and beautiful….but there is so much more that comes with being a mother that is fucking disgusting….like the fact that these women spend so much time in doctor’s offices spread…or dealing with puking, shitting babies, even if the nanny does most of the work….coupled with hormones and exhaustion that lead to doing inappropriate shit like scratching your hermorhoided mom ass in public cuz your designer panties are irritating them….and for some reason I like this better than when bitches are young, conservative prude…giving up is awesome.

Jessica Alba has blocked me on twitter becasue she didn’t like my love letters I’d send her every hour on the hour….discussing the way I would treat her half mexican baby making ass like it was a dog I rescued from a backyard breeder….so I don’t know when this crafty bikini pic was taken all I know is that she’s showing off her cunt privileged life of being so rich and fortunate that she can swim in a pool within a pool, while the average american only gets to swim in sewer drainage ditches after a rainstorm….Oh how good it is to be hollywood…

I’m just posting it cuz she’s in a bikini and that’s the only way I like girls.

I realize that the pic I posted isn’t of Jessica Alba in a bikini, but bitch is on a boat in a tube top, looking like a castaway on Survivor, crossed with some Mexican looking bitch, cuz she’s Mexican, on a fucking boat, rocking some thin shoulders, but during this trip….Jessica Alba was out in a bikini and I don’t have the rights to post the pics but I can link to them….and that is what I am going to do….and really it is probably better for me to keep 30 plus moms in bikinis off the site…cuz that’s the kind of shit, even when it is starring Jessica Alba, that shouldn’t fucking happen….there comees a time in every shredded thanks to pregnancy vagina that it needs to assume the role of middle aged mother…and that time has come for Alba…even if she’s hotter than most bitches, she’s still only a fragment of what she was….but I guess she’s still Jessica ALba…maybe I am just made cuz she blocked me on Facebook and Twitter for no reason….other than my hateful yet hilarious comments.

I posted this pic of Jessica Alba in Italy in her bikini yesterday, or whenever it was that she put it up on Instagram, because I’m a fan of girls who are content produers….and who put the shit out before the paparazzi get to it….because the paparazzi are the devils and making the obsolete is a good thing…even the whole point of this post is to drive you to the paparazzi pics of Alba in her bikini …..

I like tacky girls marketing themselves in bikinis, it is the basis of most of my facebook masturbation sessions….you see cuz girls you know half naked is more fun than girls you don’t know getting fucked….and the real highlight of personal pics is finding out that bitch’s Mom’s got some Tits…..

I woke up and turned on my instagram cuz I am only following hot girls who seem to post all kinds of bikini pics of themselves in a way that would make me wonder if they ever sleep or if they are in perpetual sun in a bikini, if I wasn’t too busy masturbating to their pics….and these Alba shots of her being a drunk in a bikini dropped that I decided to comment saying

I don’t know what this photoshoot is for, but seeing Jessica Alba in a strapless dress, pretty much looking like she’s been knocked over at her high school prom, or even better, like she’s fallen over from being roofied at her high school prom, only for some a sexual predator, let’s say someone like me, you know for the sake of argument, to have clear path to her golden fleshy baby making cavern of all things good in the world…..because mom or not, Alba is still pretty fucking hot, and mom or not, I can still have fantasies of being the guy she never gave the time of day to, getting up inside her while she rests….it’s a totally normal fantasy….google it if you don’t believe me….

One is that happily married chicks are porno to me….especially when they are as hot as Jessica Alba….because there is no such thing as happily married…and the slight chance that she’d cheat on her husand inspires me…cuz dating married chicks is like dating the terminally ill…it is short lived and full of passion…so you never get locked in or really have to deal with the bullshit….cuz everyone knows where they stand and that it is all just about fucking before it is too late…

The other is the hot friend who isn’t Jessica Alba but who wants to be and every night asks herself why she wasn’t so lucky…resenting her everytime they hang but using it as a chance to out dress her and show off her body that didn’t have two kids so that all eyes are on her for once….It is the competitive nature of being a woman….a competitive nature that I know fucks with this girl’s self esteem hard…and makes her willing to fuck subpar men to feel good about herself…and that works for me….in fact that’s the only reason I’ve had sex.

I am guessing that Alba is in some shitty movie where one of the genius scenes was to have her jump into the wrestling ring with some dude and beat him, while fully clothed….when everyone knows the only wrestling a bitch should do is either half naked our on my dick….but I assume that since she’s just had her second kid, strapping her vagina in jeans was a safe bet as to not have her labia flapping in the wind, getting injured by dude accidentally shoving his entire fist in her accidentally….you know how it is ladies who have kids….things will never be the same again…..

Luckily for Alba, she’s still hot enough to watch squat and roll….no matter how big her vagina may be. I’m still a fan and hope her comeback involves way more nudity.