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Valentine’s Day might be a late capitalist invention that commodifies human emotion, but you still want a date. Lucky for you, we live in some twisted Black Mirror reality, so modern technology can help you find someone (whom you later break up with after getting back your HUHS infection results). To aid your search for love, we handpicked the most coveted bachelors for our second installment of the most eligible Tinder bachelors series.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to date the protagonist of “Rick and Morty.” If you do make the cut, maybe skip the Central Square McDonald’s date? Actually, don't take dates to McDonald's period.

Feel like cheating on your next-door sweetheart, the HUDS carnival cookie, or your late night booty call, Insomnia? This scrumptious charmer is an hour drive away, so certainly not as convenient, but perhaps more delicious.