What is red and occasionally explodes in the fruit section?
-A pomegranate.
If a wild pig kills you, does it mean you’ve been boared to death?

What was the football coach yelling at the vending machine?

“Gimme
my quarter back!!!”
What’s the biggest pan in the world?-Japan.
I told my girlfriend to come with me to the gym. Then I stood her up.
Hopefully, she’ll realize the two of us are not going to work out.
That awkward moment when your friend told you their dog died, and, without
thinking, you say, “Oh no, that must have been ruff…”
What do snowmen do in their spare time?-Just chilling.
Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.

But those who
sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer.
Care to seduce a large woman? Piece of cake.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver
in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"

I said, "Can’t
say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"
Daddy somebody’s at the door. He’s collecting for the district’s new indoor
swimming pool. -Ok, give him a bucket of water then.
A terrorist enters a McDonalds. -The cashier asks: “Hello sir,
what would you like to eat?” -The terrorist: “Nothing, I’m so full
I’m about to explode.”
Jokes about unemployed people are not funny. They just don't work.
What to say to a hitch-hiker with just one leg?

Hop in.
“Why is there music coming out of your printer?”-“That will be
the paper jamming again!”

What do you get when you cross a bear with a skunk?

Winnie the
Pooh.
In theory, 747 shouldn’t ever crash, should it?

It should
just go ‘Boeing’.
A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his
chest. The doctor looks and examines and finally says, “Let me give you some
cream to put on it.”
How to catch a squirrel?-Go in a forest and act nuts.
Which bees produce milk? The boo-bees!Next Part
of Best Puns