What is the best martial art IN THE WILD!?!!

Now on the d34dly Str33ts, we all know that chain punches and nerve strikes combined with traditional rising blocks are the best techniques used against the sr33t perils of heroin needles and lava.

What I want to know is what would be the ultimate martial art/technique IN THE WILD!??

My vote is Kyokushin. We have a long history of animal abuse thus the average practitioner should be well able to transfer his typical bear-and-bull fighting techniques into d34dly anti loin/squirrel weapons.