Bennett likely didn’t take into account that, aside from his position at NFL Network’s “NFL AM,” Lavar hosts a radio show in D.C. — with Chad Dukes on 106.7 The fan — both of which he would employ to further disparage the Bears tight end for his miscalculated attacks.

Lavar: I gotta ask, because everybody in D.C. wants to know, why do you take jabs at the Washington Redskins so much?

Martellus: I honestly, I just call em like I see it. And this is just me voicing my opinion, which I don’t normally get criticized for doing so often nowadays, but really I just voice my opinion on whatever it may be. And at that time I was just reading … I don’t really have a MySpace Music page, by the way.

Lavar: You were being sarcastic.

Martellus: What happens now with athletes is, it’s totally hard to be yourself. So when you’re constantly explaining who you are, just be yourself. How can we tell kids they can be anything that they want to be without us being ourselves first, or teaching them to be themselves first. So when people try to explain themselves to me, that’s lame.

Lavar: But you know that was the second shot you fired on a Redskin.

Martellus: Well the first one, he took a shot at my teammate, so if you take a shot at my teammate, I take a shot at you.

Lavar: So you understood, even though they’re not my teammates, they’re a part of my Redskins family, that I needed to take a shot back at you.

Martellus: Oh yea.

Lavar: Did you see the video I posted?

Martellus: I didn’t see the video.

Lavar: Oh, it’s pretty good. It was the Unicorn Man.

Martellus: With the white-muscle Unicorn Man?

Lavar: Yea, did you like that?

Martellus: It was alright. The Photoshopping was bad.

Lavar: No. No. The video though.

Martellus: Oh I didn’t see the video. But I just want you to know, there’s nothing lame about a black unicorn. Black Unicorn is just awesome, awesomeness. When he takes a dump, it’s cupcakes and rainbows. So it’s just all awesomeness embodied in one thing.

Lavar: You know we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on that. I’m not okay with ‘Black Unicorn.’

Marellus: I mean, I could be the ‘White Unicorn.’

Lavar: No, I sent you the White Unicorn. There’s already a White Unicorn. Plus, you’re a black man, so you’d have to be the Black Unicorn.

Martellus: Well the Black Unicorn really came from a story I wrote, and I just stuck with my nickname.

Marellus: I just think most football players are lame anyway. All of ‘em.

One thing I know to be true from nearly five years of working around Mr. Arrington: no matter how impassioned you may feel about making a point, it’s easy to back down when you stare into those fierce, piercing eyes of the linebacker who ended Troy Aikman’s career.