Forget Hugh Hendry... Ashton Kutcher Recommends You Panic, And Prepare For The Apocalpyse

It seems that it was just yesterday that everyone's favorite outspoken Eclectica manager, Hugh Hendry, was advising that the best course of action is panicking. It appears his message was not lost on one Ashton Kutcher. Per the HuffPo: "Ashton Kutcher is in hard training for the apocalypse, but this no big screen role: he's afraid that armageddon is coming.....Kutcher is stocking up on guns and spending hours and hours running
the canyons near his home, pushed on by visions of being chased by wild
boar. He's also taking daily bikram yoga sessions, and learning Krav
Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique taught to high-powered special
ops. All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the
end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I
care about." And so survivalism has just gone mainstream...and copycat cool. Good luck trying to find stockpiles of MRE rations, freeze dried beans, and ammo going forward.

More from the Huffington Post:

Speaking to Men's Fitness,
Kutcher predicts that the "end of days" is on its way, and he wants to
be prepared for the inevitable madness. He told the magazine (quotes via JustJared):

"It won't take very much, I'm telling you. It will not take
much for people to hit the panic button. The amount of convenience that
people rely on based on electricity alone. You start taking out
electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle.
People don't have maps anymore. People use their iPhones or GPS systems,
so if there's no electricity, nobody has maps."

And then what? The way Kutcher sees it, all chaos breaks.

"And people are going to go, 'That land's not yours, prove
that it's yours,' and the only thing you have to prove it's yours is on
an electric file. Then it's like, 'What's the value of currency, and
whose food is whose?' People's alarm systems at their homes will no
longer work. Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water
heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity - what happens when
all our modern conveniences fail? I'm going to be ready to take myself
and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry."

So what's a soothsaying star supposed to do when he sees the end of
the world? Kutcher is stocking up on guns and spending hours and hours
running the canyons near his home, pushed on by visions of being chased
by wild boar. He's also taking daily bikram yoga sessions, and learning
Krav Maga, a deadly Israeli combat technique taught to high-powered
special ops.

"All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the
end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I
care about."

We are not sure how Demi feels about being chased by millions of milfthursty zombies who will have lost all rational thought once their infinitely dilutable pieces of paper are taken away.

After listening to a steady stream of complaining on this site, including myself, I welcome and celebrate any and all persons that stand up and vocalize their beliefs - and his apparent skepticism of the vast use of resources for meaningless conveniences - and then act upon them. If he gets but a few more people to think and prepare, then he has accomplished a great deal in my book. I'm guessing he probably has one of the larger followings on twitter...

and his apparent skepticism of the vast use of resources for meaningless conveniences

You mean our God given resources that we have earned the use of by hard work and sacrifice? The reason we have problems now is the lazy forget all that and want everything for free. And then there's the agenda driven folks like yourself, that want to make us feel guilty.

Guilty of what? Nothing. We earned it, we use it, it's ours. MadMax is not happening.

LH, bikram yoga needs artificial heat to get the room to 100 degrees. i went to couple of sessions, it is just plain stupid. what is he talking about losing electricity when the end comes. he is a hypocrite. he won't have any heat, to do his Yoga in. these dumb yoga pushers, they have like five electric space heaters located around the room. heat up the yogis and let them fry. world comes to an end and AK can't do bikram yoga cause he ain't got no electric heat. i swear i am one hoot after a laugh.

I hope you are kidding. AK is doing yoga now in order to get himself into the proper physical condition. I'm sure he's well aware that, if the apocalypse happens, he won't be looking for the nearest yoga studio. It's better to actually be in top physical shape than only wish he was.

silver I ski ng, is that the same picture avatar that headless horseman uses?

AK is just like any other man doing yoga. to see

downward dog, bitchez.

i know exactly where these two live in id a HO, he is just bitch slapping, when he talks all bikram yoga shit. he is jewish i believe or demi is. no matter. madonna did yoga too and and turned to the jewish religion. i say, time better spent riding a bike. hell, three of the last bank robberies in and around boulder center, got away on bicycles.

Its clear that Ashton is one of those Bible freaks because he uses the term "end of days". Well I will say this .. the Bible says that the meak shall inheret the Earth and if these Bible freaks think the end of days is coming, then by all means give up everything you got and hope you are chosen.

bik ram you .......... generates a lot of losers. generate a lot of sweaty stinky bodies that i don't care to look at. imagine having to heat up a room with electricity to do 20 specific poses. it is very nazi yoga. i laugh when anyone tries to tell me they are all bikramed. well, now robotrainer says he does it with his GF. so we all know how F A B robo is, plus his MOM is following him around everywhere nowadays on ZH. momma's boy.

It is more accurate to say that the benefits of any style of yoga are completely dependent on the practitioner. A person with the right mindset can receive as many benefits from Bikram as from any other style - except maybe Kriya.

Gigilo Ashton talked about how they lost power at their cabin and he loaded his gun and in a panic they went to the grocery store. He is an apologist for Mugabe 2 Hussein to insure he gets movies in Hollywood. If you bash conservatives and shill for marxism you can be a star too.

His dowager wife is always bitching that she spent $500,000 on new t*ts, a face and ass lift plus a lot of work and still cannot get movie parts.

BTW - those God given resources are being created each day by that reactor called the earth's core turning rocks into oil and nat gas. There is energy all over the earth and the earth is making new energy each day. Solar will get cheaper over time too and geothermal power by the earth's core will work as well. It already is working.

Don't you hate it when others fail to realize your "God given" rights? Now if those pesky natives would just get out of your way and let you get on with you using all your plentiful stuff earned by nothing more than honest hard work. You're right, guilt is for the common folk. Just a minute, Lloyd is texting me.

Usage Discussion of IRREGARDLESS:Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that “there is no such word.” There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.
Examples of IRREGARDLESS:I told them that irregardless of what you read in books, they's some members of the theatrical profession that occasionally visits the place where they sleep. —Ring Lardner, The Big Town, 1921
Origin of IRREGARDLESSprobably blend of irrespective and regardlessFirst Known Use: circa 1912

"I know God, what he wants, what he looks like, and everything he has ever done."

Imagine, the little pathetic human virus on a tiny back water planet in a minor galaxie knows the creator of the infinite universe. Absolutely the most arrogant immagination of human kind one could possibly immagine.

(Among many things religion made me wonder about... why does God, as described by the revealed religions, need to have a sex? If there is no other God, what is the penis for?)

And with any "god" used to explain the creation of the universe, one has to deal with the problem of infinite regression. If god created the universe, who created god? Then, who created the uber-god that created the god? If the common excuse that god has been in existence forever is used, then the user can be asked why the universe or the conditions that resulted in its development and existence couldn't have been in existence forever, obviating the need for a god.

Can a dog comprehend human activities? Of course not. So I guess any theory that a dog came up with to explain human behavior would look pretty stupid right?

First, your quote would not settle well with the hundreds of millions who blindly and faithfully follow organized religion - they've got it all figured out, from start to finish.

Second, your analogy about the dog and its understanding of its environment is better if you use fish: for humans to understand the universe/God is a bit like a fish swimming in the Pacific and understanding where all the water came from.

Third, unlike fish, dogs (and woodpeckers), some humans have a fully developed frontal cortex that does, in fact, enable us to understand the "fish tank" in which we swim. That fish tank is comprised of three things: dark matter, dark energy and everything else. Dark matter comprises about 25% of the universe. Dark energy comprises the other 75%. Within those numbers is a small, infinitesimal error that does not actually add up to 100% - more like 99.99999999->%. In that .000000001->% are the hundreds of billions of galaxies, hundreds of billions of suns, trillions of planets, and you and me.

So....having a fully functional frontal cortex makes me wonder why God - if he really created it all for us - would have designated us so far to the right of the decimal point in the grand summation of it all.

How can you be so sure? Nothing is that certain. I would worry less about energy, and more about water. If we paid the true cost of delivering water to our faucets, there would be no car washes, not even hand washing in the front yard. There would be no lawn on which to wash your car. The default actions of faucets/showers would be off.

We can survive without energy....water? Not so much. Since states like CA consume 20% of their energy moving water around...now you can worry about energy.

(2) Also not a problem where I live, where there's plenty of water underground which is always being refilled by constant rainfall. Historically we've always used wind power to raise water, and we will again in the near future (out of necessity).

In summary: Don't live in a fucking desert, and stop allowing morons to breed.

Are you referencing the great Sam Kinison's extremely funny routine? The problem with it is that the people he is referencing had the desert encroach upon _them_ and couldn't move elsewhere because of national boundaries and surrounding countries that didn't want them to move into their territories.

Unemployed masses of anyone. In Japan over the past few years the crime rate by the elderly has skyrocketed because they have no jobs, no income, no pensions or savings, no homes...be very afraid of the Baby Boomers starting Jan 1 2011!

Ashton knows that there is going to be a big solar flair like the one that is believed to have happened a few million years ago. The electromagnetic pulse will fry any operating electrical equipment including the grid.

But I am an old guy, can't do anything about it. Perhaps he could be appointed the head of a committee to worry about that until it happens.

Magnetar SGR J1550-5418 recently became active, and is producing gigantic Gamma Ray Burst which are aimed directly at the Earth. One burst in 2008 heated the upper atmosphere of the Earth by 50 celcius in a matter of minutes, more here.

...thanks to all regarding links on this interstellar thread...i find this fascinating and you have provided me with my daily fix!

we are definitely in a period of the "quickening" of information dissemination and knowledge, and the realization that we still know very little on a universal level, and about the history of our lowly interplanetary vessel called earth and its previous inhabitants...and visitors...it keeps our discussions of economic malfeasance and eminent collapse in context for sure...

I'm not sure. Perhaps if Republican senators like Phil Gramm collude with energy companies like Enron?

Blackouts are truly wonderful for profits, as people become desperate and pay anything to get the AC working. Too bad those pesky unregulated derivatives blew up!

Does anyone know if there is a connection between Phil Gramm, George Bush, the 1992 Energy Policy Act which forced utilities to carry Enron's energy, Wendy Gramm (his wife) as the Chair of the CFTC, the deregulation of energy future contracts and the future total implosion of Enron?

Those Republicans sure do find themselves in the middle of a bunch of pickles. Weird.

Are you aware that over 40% of all Americans think the Earth is 6,000 years old, and that fossils were planted by God to confuse us?

More Americans believe in a literal Hell and a red-faced guy with horns on his head, than they do in Darwinism.

The average American watches over 150 hours of television per month. If there are 720 hours in a month, and the average person sleeps 8 hours a day, that means the average American spends over 30% of his waking life watching television.

Only 34% of all Americans believe that George Bush started TARP.

Only 16% of Americans believe that half the TARP funds have been repaid.

About 40% of all Americans believe that Obama wants death panels - probably the same 40% who think the Earth is 6,000 years old.

50% of all Americans believe that Saddam Hussein was responsible for the 9/11 attacks.

The state of California elected Conan the Barbarian as their governor.

Over 40% of all Americans don't know who our Vice President is.

Gun sales sales surged after Obama was elected President because Americans thought their country was under attack.

There are individuals here - in the ZH community - who have dozens of canned hams buried in their back yard

"Gun sales sales surged after Obama was elected President because Americans thought their country was under attack."

It is under attack. Obama, if he hadn't been elected to public office, couldn't get a security clearance from the same federal government he is the figurehead of, because of his long, long, continuous history of anti-american activities and associations. The second two years of Obama's sham of a presidency will unfortunately be very interesting, as the Congress will now be holding hearings on what the federal governments' zillions of agencies have been up to. They are totally out of control, and this is by design.

He’s a f***ing half-wit, like a lot of people that post here tbh. He's going to learn Karate, wtf?... to protect Demi from hordes of rampaging starving lunatics with hard-ons. I can picture it now, Mr Kutcher karate chopping his way through a mob of lusting goldbugs with guns and big throbbing cocks. Lmfao, its too much. I bet even when his bedroom light bulb wears out he jumps into action, ripping off his shirt to reveal a bright red blitz suit with colour coordinated nun chuka's. Enough.

I have never met Kuchar but I have heard him speak openly and honestly (I believe) on Real Time with Bill Maher. The guy is aware, he knows about the issues we all face, maybe he is overly apocolyptic and maybe he is not.

Basically, you dont know and I dont know but I do know 'stuff' will happen when major socio-economic impactful events occur eventually. If the dude wants to prep and is willing to share on a mainstream mag...I say 'Dude, whoa'.

Shortly after midnight on September 2, 1859, campers in the Rocky Mountains were awakened by an "auroral light, so bright that one could easily read common print. . . . the solar storm of 1859 has been dubbed "the Carrington event". It remains the most severe solar storm to affect the Earth in recorded history.

...

. . .[a] March 13, 1989 geomagnetic "Superstorm" . . . triggered strong direct currents in the long wires of the Canadian electric power grid. . . . the result was a power outage that knocked out power to the entire province of Quebec, Canada--six million people--for nine hours.

. . . John Kappenman of Metatech Corporation theorizes that a future repeat of the Carrington event or the 1921 geomagnetic storm could result in catastrophic failure of large portions of the electrical grid that would last for years, costing 1-2 trillion dollars in the first year, and putting million of lives at risk. Full recovery from the event would take 4-10 years.

Re: March 13, 1989 geomagnetic "Superstorm." I was working at a microwave communications site at the time. The antennas had magnetic field sensors on them so an alarm would be triggered if they were moved (most likely blown) 0.5 degrees or more off azimuth. On the night of the storm, the alarm was triggered at my location and manually reset, then triggered again, manually reset, etc. I knew about the predicted storm and on a hunch called other stations on the link to ask if they'd had the same problem. They had. There was no wind and the antennas weren't moving, the Earth's magnetic field was...

Enlightening, to say the least, in regard to the technology, support, and consumption of these facilities. Financial apocalypse will happen, but yet, people will show up to work at the plants, shipping yards, mines - business as usual? How much would you sell your gold for in an apocalypse? $1500? $2500? $10,000? What makes you think that if you wouldn't sell your PM in a time like that, that someone would sell a consummable, when a replacement cost was not able to be calculated/replaced?

I'd say that, God forbid it happen, you'd eat those words in a matter of days.

I've heard of anarchists. They believe that society functions more justly and efficiently without government. Governments are in the business of destroying power plants and production facilities. War, as they say, is the health of the state.

You obviously have not been to a power plant after 9-11. Anarchists are going to burn down power plants? With what? Bic lighters? Security detail at any power plant these days consists of well armed military types who would consider anarchists as nothing more than easy target practice. Go to any power plant and try and get past the guards with machine guns. We deliver to power plants on a weekly basis and I can tell you that unless these "anarchists" are armed with tanks and rocket launchers they are not going to get anywhere close to a power plant!

In Cormac McCarthy's novel The Road, the man and the boy come across a well-stocked bomb shelter. The Krugerrands are tossed into a corner with a derisive "Humph!" They are ecstatic that it is well-stocked with food, but more than a little disappointed they find no usable ammo or guns.

Goodness forbid that the human race ever arrive at the state of The Road, but it is still a very good read for apocalyptic types who want to think of what might happen and what one's priorities might be.

Money (gold) is useless under precisely one condition--when there is no trade. Problem is, trade is something that comes naturally to humans. As such, so long as there are humans, there will be trade.

The Road is highly unrealistic, in that it portrays cannibalism being adopted on a permanent basis (doesn't happen, except very rarely as a ritual). The people they were keeping for food would use food until they were eaten, and would be otherwise useless. In reality, if conditions are such outside that humans can survive, then other plants and animals can survive. If other plants and animals can survive, then humans can harness them for food. Humans will trade for food, skins, ropes, etc.

Gold is useless only during those very brief moments of time best described as "riots". For those times, you hold guns and ammo. For the lean times, you hold food. For the other 99+% of the time, you hold gold.

Your link shows two tweets on Dec. 29 that show him referring to the Huffington Post story as quoting him out of context, but confirming that he gets motivation to work out by thinking of how serious the possibility of a bug-out is.