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Friday, April 22, 2011

LMAO: Maryland man glued to Wal-Mart toilet seat

I heard about this today while I was working and was bugging out so I just had to come home and check it out to see if it was true...

via CNN:

Police in Maryland are on the hunt for the perpetrator of what appears to be an April Fools' prank that left a man glued to a toilet at a Wal-Mart store.

If caught, the jokester who doused the seat with glue at the Elkton Wal-Mart on March 31 could face second-degree assault charges, said Lt. Matthew Donnelly of the Elkton Police Department.

There, they found the 48-year-old victim, who called for help after realizing the sticky situation he was in when he tried -- and failed -- to stand up and leave the superstore's restroom, Donnelly said.

It took responders 15 minutes to remove the victim from the stall, but they were unable to disconnect the toilet seat from his body, Donnelly said.

Instead, the victim was taken to Union Hospital of Cecil County, where the seat was detached. He left with only minor injuries to his buttocks, Donnelly said.

Police do not suspect that the victim was specifically targeted, but that the incident was a random prank, Donnelly said. They have not received reports of glue-laden toilet seats since.

What kind of grimey n!gga will squad over and sit butt ass naked on a public toilet bowl seat anyway. Weirdo!

Words to Live by:

"Invictus" (Latin for "unconquered")
by William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.