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Don’t Just Go Through Relationships, Grow Through Relationships.

First, I just want to say I have a great girlfriend, this is not about me. But, as we all see on Facebook, breakups happen every day. Some people get back together, some don’t. Sometimes it’s a mutual feeling, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes you’re the one who wants it to end, sometimes you’re not.

And sometimes, neither person wants it to, it’s just by virtue of circumstances or the situation at hand.

Often times, people get discouraged and either swear off the opposite sex altogether saying “all men/women are the same,” or internalize and become convinced something is wrong with them specifically if a few relationships don’t work out. I’m here to tell you, neither of those conclusions are correct.

It is possible for 2 perfect people to find each other, and yet not be perfect FOR each other. Every individual has a different path, different goals, different views on situations, and those are not always compatible with a specific person as you may have been hoping for.

If someone is so great, why not give up everything to be with them? Sometimes it’s not that cut and dry…and sometimes it’s just as difficult to understand ourselves as it is for the other person to understand us.

This is difficult, because the natural defense for this kind of mindset would be “well, if it’s gonna end, then why bother starting in the first place?” My answer is this: each person we come across in the course of our lives, will leave a mark on us…if we allow it.

They will help us grow, teach us new things, show us different views on the world, etc. These situations are valuable to personal growth. Sometimes two people grow together, and sometimes apart, but it’s important to remember that both people are in fact, growing.

I also believe a relationship is priority for many people. They are not comfortable being single and want to feel the comfort of having someone there. My thoughts are, in order to be effective in a relationship for both your sake and the other person’s, you must be comfortable enough and established enough in your life to give ample attention to said relationship.

This doesn’t necessarily mean being a college grad with your career in place, I mean more along the lines of not being so scatterbrained trying to figure out who you are and what you want, that it takes attention away from the other person. Attention that they deserve.

If both people are not ready for this commitment, the relationship will likely not unfold as one or both had hoped for. This is not the fault of either person, simply a case of unfortunate circumstances, which must be understood by all parties involved.

My hope for everyone…is that at one point or another, we are each put in a position where we are on both the giving and receiving end of a breakup. This is not for the purpose of wishing hurt and heartbreak on anyone, it is for the purpose of gaining an understanding for the fact that NEITHER end is ever easy, and there is a unique difficulty to each.

The hope is that while one person may not understand exactly how the other is feeling, the empathy will still be there to be able to relate, and know that neither party is necessarily happy with the outcome, everyone has their reasons.

Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. And sometimes, it’s simply the timing that isn’t right. Everything always works out in the end…and if it’s not working out, it’s not the end!

So keep your hopes alive, keep moving forward, and NEVER let a past situation govern your outlook on the future, because everything and everyone is different. If two people are meant to be, they will be. Maybe not today, maybe not next week, but whenever the circumstances intend for it to happen.