After losing wife and son, LeeTran employee finds solace in his work

The 56-year-old LeeTran paratransit bus driver is the 2013 recipient of the Candy Pittro Memorial Award, meant to honor county employees who maintain an inspiring attitude during times of personal adversity.

But his gratitude over the recognition is entangled with his pain.

Parke is trying to rebuild his life after the loss of his wife to illness and his 17-year-old son to a motorcycle crash.

"I'm tired of being the star of this drama. I just want to get back to the routine of everyday life," Parke said.

The day before Thanksgiving 2011, Parke made the decision to take his wife off a ventilator. She'd suffered through multiple illnesses throughout her life. She told him she wanted to go.

"I told her — even though I didn't want to lose her, of course — I understood completely if she wanted to die, and I would support her," Parke said.

He took about a couple weeks off from work after her death to recover, then returned.

Parke, who joined LeeTran in 2005, provides door-to-door transportation service for disabled people who cannot drive.

Passport, LeeTran's paratransit brand, provides service for people who live within three-fourths of a mile of any LeeTran route. Last fiscal year, the county's paratransit service provided 104,303 trips. The service has 2,355 active registered clients.

"A lot of them are on their own, so this is their only source of transportation," Parke said. "It gives them a little bit of independence. It gets them out of the house."

He walks up to his passengers' front doors and offers help. Sometimes that means Parke holds out his arm or operates the wheelchair lift to get someone on board. Other times, help means standing back and allowing someone test his or her independence under Parke's watchful eye.

Most of the people Parke helps are regulars. He has gotten to know them during the trips they make to doctor's appointments, the grocery store and elsewhere.

"I know the quirks. What you can say (to them) and what you can't," Parke said. "I don't feel sorry for them. No. I don't think they want you to. I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me, what I've been through in the last three years."

Last August, Parke broke his leg. The injury kept him off the job for several weeks. He returned in January.

Parke had just clocked out after his third day back when he got a phone call from the mother of one of his son's friends.

Sean, his son, was in an accident. Did he know?

"My heart just sunk because ... something just told me it was bad. And it was," Parke said. "I just didn't know how bad it was, but I just knew it was bad."

Sean Parke's 2006 Suzuki motorcycle was struck by a 2008 Dodge van. A state trooper at the scene told Parke that Sean was dead.

"I couldn't believe it. I just collapsed," Parke said. "I was on the street. I didn't care if a car ran over me at that point. I was just so grief-stricken."

Hundreds of people mourned with Parke, who said he stood in line for almost three hours at the funeral greeting Sean's friends, former teachers and others who knew the teen.

"I didn't know he touched so many people," Parke said. "Every corner of Lee County was represented in some way. It was beautiful. It really was."

Almost three months later, the loss is still nearly intolerable for the father.

Rachelle Bock, a LeeTran employee who nominated Parke for the award, wrote in her nomination form that Parke drives past many of the places daily that bring back memories of places he visited with his son.

"For most of us, we would avoid those places and locations following the death of a loved one, but when it is part of our job duty, you must persevere. We at Lee Tran admire Ed for his courage and determination to move forward," she wrote.

Parke likes to stay busy at work to keep his mind from wandering back to darkness. He said he isn't ready to serve as an example of survival for others. He is still trying to absorb his own feelings of missing, would have beens and lonesomeness.

"In probably a few months, I want to go back to helping somebody," he said. "I know God's going to put somebody in my life that needs my help ... they're going to need somebody with the grief experience that I have to give them comfort. But I'm not at that point right now."

He goes to counseling once at week at his church. He's joined a grief group that meets every third Wednesday of the month at a local YMCA.

"I gotta talk about it," Parke said.

Then there are the patches of light.

His friends and co-workers give him a humbling kind of love and support. Parke has a 32-year-old daughter in Tennessee. In May, he will marry a woman he loves and join her family, too.

The Pittro Award, named after a county human resources employee who died in 1987 after a long struggle with leukemia, came with two plaques — one for the win and another for the nomination — and three days of paid time off, which he hasn't used yet.

Most of the regulars who ride with him know about Sean's passing. But sometimes when a rider asks Parke how his son is doing, Parke just says Sean is "fine."