stay at home mom

Today on the blog I am welcoming Meghan Joy Yancy from Meghan Joy Today. She’s sharing her story about race.

The Reality of Race & Skintone

I was always so curious as to what they would look like.

With the mixture of my husbands’ dark chocolate complexion and my German nearly translucent skin tone, the possibilities were endless of what our darling children would look like. This perfect and beautiful mixture of colors to create any number of combinations of skin tone, eye color, and hair texture. Now, as a family of 7, in our eyes, they all have their own unique and perfect look. Different hair textures and nose shapes and lip shapes. Just perfection in human form from a wild and lovely Creator.

It’s funny, because in our viewpoint, they all look so different. Unique in their own ways. But when we go in public, some of them often get mistaken for twins.

I’m assuming it’s because of the similar skin tone, same dark brown afro hair and deep brown eye color. They don’t see beyond, into the shapes and curves of their faces. The intricacies of their very being.

Let’s be real… it’s mostly just the afros that people assume they are identical.

An adventure always awaits us when we venture out in public. Add one more kid to our bunch and we will either need a minibus, or we’ll have to take 2 vehicles everywhere we go.

Being mixed AND being a large family makes for a breeding ground of stares and whispers.

Although I would like to say it is only their thoughts, it is not. Many of these comments make their way through their mouths and into the void of space and sound before us. And I never really know how to answer but with a smile and forced giggle.

Truthfully though, motherhood has transformed me in a way I don’t know if I could ever fully repay to God except to steward these children up to love Him as best I can. Motherhood has been one of the greatest challenges of my life and one of my greatest joys. Let’s not pretend it isn’t hard sometimes. Painful even.

But the fruit of those seasons of sowing and planting are so worth all that hard work. It is a beautiful process really. To do life with these tiny humans. To watch them absorb and grow and learn. It is truly my dream being lived out in reality.

Mothering a Large Family

Having 5 children, ages 7 and under, is basically a recipe for crazy town. And being that I am a stay-at-home mom that homeschools- we are talking 24/7 crazy town. And it’s glorious. And maddening. And such a complete honor. To look in their eyes and feel their emotions with them. To know that I am wholly responsible for their well-being.

For their physical safety and growth. And even more importantly- their SOULS. What a heavy and honorary burden to bear. To steer their lovely little hearts to live for Jesus and to love him unashamed and undignified. To follow Him in all their ways and to lean on their faith and not only what their eyes see. To let them experience the tangible love of God in unsuspecting ways. To have the hard conversations. To discipline them and to nurture them. To lean on the Lord for guidance and strength.

To look in their eyes and feel their emotions with them. To know that I am wholly responsible for their well-being. For their physical safety and growth. And even more importantly- their SOULS. What a heavy and honorary burden to bear. To steer their lovely little hearts to live for Jesus and to love him unashamed and undignified. To follow Him in all their ways and to lean on their faith and not only what their eyes see. To let them experience the tangible love of God in unsuspecting ways.

To have the hard conversations. To discipline them and to nurture them. To lean on the Lord for guidance and strength.

I love being able to see this perfect blend of mommy and daddy in them. In their physical appearance and in their personalities. To see their little lights shine and their exuberance bursting forth is this beautiful masterpiece of artwork being lived out in daily life.

I love being able to hear the words I once said come out of their own mouths. They are such a reflection of us.

What a humbling experience to basically be looking in a mirror and see our children act as we have.

The Reality of Parenthood

My 7-year-old has the most tender and loving heart that really listens for Holy Spirits voice. She cares about other people’s feelings and desires to please the Lord in all she does. And she is quick on her feet. She is wise beyond her years and to see her grow, care, and show kindness makes those tough times come into the reality of parenthood and what exactly we are doing and why we are doing it.

She is so aware of the beauty of the color of her skin and how she is the combination of both mom and dad and how she is perfectly and uniquely created that way. To shine for Christ in all she does and proclaim his goodness in the glory of TODAY. She takes full advantage of life and all it has to offer and loves hard. She is so considerate of other people and always thinking of ways to bless others.

While shopping one day, a little girl came up to us and asked if I was her mommy.

I said yes and the little girl asked why our skin was different colors then. I told my daughter that she could answer the little girl and without any prompting she said, “Because my daddy has dark brown skin and my mommy’s skin is this color, so I am a mixture of both of them. This is perfectly how God made me.”

And with that, my Mommy heart SOARED.

We may get stared at a lot, but it leads to some great discussions about race with our kids. We have the opportunity to communicate with them how the world has been in the past, where it is now and how we can lovingly help it to function in the future when it comes to issues of race and acceptance and love. It’s a great chance for us to conversate on our beautiful differences and how we can be united through them.

My sweet little tan creamy skin toned beauties are growing up knowing their wonderful place in this world and the impact they can make. That they are one of many in our family and one in a million in this life. Created wonderfully and fearfully with a divine purpose.

Want to hear more from Meghan? Meghan resides in Maple Grove, Minnesota with her husband and their 5 children. She runs businesses from home while homeschooling and loves having random dance parties throughout the day. Be sure to follow Meghan Joy Yancy for more!

They tell you in school that if you pick a job you love, you’ll never work another day in your life. That’s mostly true, but with any job, you will face challenges that aren’t fun.

I have worked in education for nearly 10 years. I love helping students and families. The kind of work I do can be very fulfilling most days. However, whenever I have a significant time off work (Thanksgiving, Christmas or Spring Break), I go into full mommy mode.

I have the pleasure of sleeping in, cooking dinner for my family every night, catching up on laundry and actually keeping my house clean. In other words, I don’t feel like a failure.

Her Home Looks Perfect

Her house is always clean, and I instantly get jealous. I envy her organized desks and pantries. I immediately think of all the things I need to run home and do.

She never forgets to ask me if I want something to drink, and she seems to enjoy baking. She even has time to make Pinterest worthy photo backdrops for her kids every holiday. Me, on the other hand? I’m good to remember to send things for class parties.

Her Kids are Smart

Since she’s at home, she has time to teach them to count, write & read before they ever start school. I did great with my first child, but with #2, I constantly have guilt about how much less time I spent doing educational things with her.

She has downloaded all the perfect educational apps on her Ipad and monitors screen time, while I let mine play aimlessly some days so I can cook and keep the kitchen clean.

She Can Nap in the Middle of the Day or Sleep In

Napping is one of the maternity luxuries that I miss the most. Raising kids is utterly exhausting some days! Recently I’ve instituted family nap time on Saturdays so my kids & I can recharge at the same time.

When my stay at home mom friend tells me that her kids don’t rise until 9 or 10, I feel a twinge of jealousy.

She has More Time

I feel like I’m always pressed for time. After work, I’m in a rush to get dinner on the table. Then I’m rushing to get the kids from bath to bed. I’m rushing to get a few loads of laundry done while listening to my husband vent from the day.

By the time I lay down to go to sleep, my mind runs through a list of things I didn’t have time to complete. She, on the other hand, can space out projects throughout the day. She can run errands while businesses are still open.

But then we sit down and chat…….

And I realize that she hasn’t had a break all day. When her husband gets home, she longs for some alone time, but her husband tells her what a long day he’s had and how tired he is.

She tells me that she cleans to keep from going stir crazy. Oh, and that she cleaned the entire house right before I came over. She tells me how much she loves picking the kids up from school, but she misses real, adult human interaction every day. She asks me to tell her funny stories from work.

They weren’t funny when they happened, but they are funny now that I’m sharing them with her. We laugh about the things our kids have in common, and that we both say crazy things when we’re mad.

We talk about the tough stuff and get a little teary eyed. As our time together comes to an end, I realize that she’s a little jealous of me too.

We both find value in each other’s roles, and in each other.

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Diedre Anthony
Lifestyle + Mom Blogger
Welcome to Are Those Your Kids! This blog was created to share my experiences in motherhood, from the perspective of a mom with biracial kids. I discuss all things culture, multicultural resources, curly hair and motherhood.

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