Powerful Women

Why Powerful Women Have Less Sex

Americans tend to be low on sexual frequency, compared to the rest of the world.

Ever wonder how much sex married couples are having? Depending on the study you read, there seem to be as many different kinds of sex lives as there are marriages.

According to the Durex study of sexual well being, Americans tend to be low on sexual frequency compared to the rest of the world (118 times a year compared to the average of 127). In another study posted by the famous Kinsey Institute, 13% of married couples reported having sex a few times per year, 45% reported a few times per month, 34% reported two to three times per week, and 7% reported four or more times per week.

I think the key word to notice is “reported.” The biggest challenge for sex researchers is that most studies are “self-report” studies, meaning that they are open to embellishment. Usually by men, who tend to report higher levels of sexual frequency. If their reports are true, who are those guys having sex with? Perhaps each other? Or perhaps women tend to under-report because of the sexual double standard.

Now another study throws a new factor into the gender equation in terms of sexuality. A survey of six African countries shows that the more household power a woman has, the less sexual activity she has. Specifically, if she is singly responsible for large household purchases, decisions on health care and family obligations, she has sex less often. The wife who jointly shares responsibility for these decisions with her husband has more sex than women who have total responsibility.

There are a number of ways to look at this finding, which was published in the Journal of Sex Research. First of all, the research was done in six African countries, places where female circumcision is still practiced in many circles. More aptly called female genital mutilation, this destructive and often dangerous surgery can affect sexual pleasure in many women. But the other thing to consider has relevance here in America. A woman who is largely responsible for all the decisions (and probably housework and child rearing) is probably also a very tired woman.

Here in America, we are experiencing an unprecedented rise of female economic and sexual power. A study by the National Sleep Foundation found that one in four American couples are too tired for sex. This statistic begs the question: Are the “couples” too tired for sex, or only the wife? After all, women control the sex lives of most marriages.

Finally, sex can be a power exchange. He conquers her sexual power, and she conquers his masculinity. Household decision-making power in America is usually tied to financial power: She who earns it, spends it. So this study also makes me wonder about wives who make more money than their husbands. Do they choose a female model of sexuality for their relationship because they can? Or are they just too plain tired?