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And don't ever kid yourself on this important point: He is still having sex with his wife, no matter what you may want to believe. Legally, financially and emotionally, you have no claim.

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She is not his wife, she is not mother to his children, she is not his parents' daughter-in-law.

Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least.

Their life together includes friendships and a social network that is shared and comfortable for him. Whether it is because of all the legal and financial problems attached to divorce, religious beliefs or the fact that they have become comfortable with their marriage the way it is -- or even because they still have a certain affection for their wives, men rarely end up with the other woman.

Even Katharine Hepburn knew, and accepted, this fact during her long affair with Spencer Tracy.

I decided to try a couple of them out and then…learned which were the absolute best of the best.

The point is that I wasn’t always an expert and you definitely don’t need to be either.

Being involved in an affair with someone else's husband is an almost surefire trip from ecstatic highs at the beginning to a depressing abyss at the end.

Understand the basics of exactly what you are getting into, and what your status is.

Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. As my friend Jenna* told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with.

The love of your life just might be a married man." Being part of any couple can be challenging and unpredictable, as we all know.

Her close circle of friends might know about her affair, but she really cannot let anyone else, such as colleagues or her family, know.