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Saturday, 10 November 2012

It's Tough to Be the Queen - Part 6

Finally, finally the couple meet. Although apparently after
Marie turned up in France she still had to wait a week to see him because ole’
Henry was too busy with one of his mistresses.
A lovely start to an ideal marriage, as shown here.

They’re so very much in love they are literally floating on
air, or on cloud which is like air.
Everything is sunshine and rainbows and peacocks. They waste little time exposing themselves
to each other despite being outdoors and kind of surrounded by people—because
let’s face it, they’ve been married without seeing each other longer than most
celebrity marriages last at all.
Also, nothing is sexier than being watched in your fist nuptial
encounter by a small crowd of naked children.

The sexual tension is so great that Henry is carrying actual
lightning bolts. This eagle also seems
remarkably ok with being used as a royal footrest, possibly because it is
concerned about being zapped with lightning.

Below
them is a cart pulled by lions ridden by more naked children with fire.

The internet informs me that the figure in
the cart is a representation of the city Lyons, at which we should all have a
hearty chuckle at classical visual puns.
Personally I suspect Marie hired the lion-cart to fend off all of
Henry’s mistresses from interrupting her long-anticipated wedding-consummation night.

16 comments:

Is it just me or has someone's booby popped out? Wardrobe malfunctions aside, you'd think that for the actual ceremony she'd try to be a modest as possible. Does that go along with the whole, "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?"

Both boobies have popped out, Heather, and someone's hand is copping a feel of one of them. All I can say for sure is that it doesn't belong to Henry. Funny that the bride is too shy to make eye contact when her breasts are up for grabs.

This is the weirdest marriage. I think, “Hymen who unites them" is a lyric from the Brazilian national anthem. Pretty sure. Why is that peacock's tail so large? My guess, it's a symbol of ol' Hank overcompensating.

I should really stop trying to do anything involving historical dates and time periods, having bungled her age horribly already. I distinctly remember reading something about her not arriving in France until a year later, but now that I look again it seems it was only a few months. Good thing I majored in sarcasm rather than history!

This one is so barking that I'd actually find wall-space for it. In particular I like the wigs that the lions are wearing. I think that they were reclining on their clouds and peacocks and eagles, as one did during tiffin, but that Henery had called a taxi to leave and the lion-drawn taxi has just arrived on the road below. Probably driven by his mistress. One last peek at the baby-nuzzlers and then he's about to leap into the carriage, crack the whip and shout yee-hah as he disappears off on, er, on, um - "State" business.

There sure are a lot of naked kids around for a first nuptial encounter. Seriously. For the most part, the kids seem to not even notice what's going on. I mean, of the three kids sitting in the clouds with them, two are all, "what's on Nickelodeon?" Only the middle child is intently watching for King Hank to put the moves on his blushing bride. Then, there's the two kids on the lions. One, totally looking at the artist like, "seriously, dude? How high ARE you right now?" The other one is DEFINITELY trying to set the queen's dress on fire. So... welcome to France? I guess?

Also, if I know anything about Hymen, it's trying to temporarily DIVIDE them, not unite them.