Same here. I had a date (wasn’t much of a connection) but he kept asking me what I want to know about him. Honestly, we were both talking equally about ourselves and I felt like neither of us had to ask questions because the conversation just segued into different topics. But he still kept asking me what I wanted to know about him, even though through conversation I found out about his family, favorite movies/shows, his job, favorite pastimes, etc.

Constantly asking questions just kind of feels like an interview. A flowing conversation feels like a connection.

Uff. My boyfriend of a year and a half will, from time to time, ask, “So, what do you want to talk about?” if there’s a lull in the conversation. It drives me N U T S. I’m like man come on, we live together, sometimes conversations lull and that’s okay because it’s not uncomfortable. When he asks that it just makes me feel weird and I never know how to respond and kills any conversation that we WERE having.

I finally asked him to never ask that again for my sanity lol. He’s an awkward dude sometimes, so I don’t think he was getting how bleh it makes the flow.

Uff. My boyfriend of a year and a half will, from time to time, ask, “So, what do you want to talk about?” if there’s a lull in the conversation. It drives me N U T S. I’m like man come on, we live together, sometimes conversations lull but that’s okay because it’s not uncomfortable. When he asks that it just makes me feel weird and I never know how to respond and kills any conversation that we WERE having.

Oh my god I have to hear about the Latin names for boletes and morels and hen of the woods why you should only take the leaves of ramps not the bulbs. How Japanese knot weed are good to eat but only the young leaves but they make good jellies. And how Autumn olives make a ketchup with ten times the
Lycopene of tomato ketchup oh yes and the problems with taxonomy of mushrooms based on visual similarities vs DNA similarities and on and on and on.....

Sounds like your friend should meet mine, she loves going into the taxonomy detail and unfortunately it just goes in one of my ears and out the other. I learn a lot from her but it’s more visual for me.

I see the plants that are edible and try them, but the names never seem to stick!

Only you know the answer, but it’s not a bad thing! I’d so much rather be hiking with someone who’s passionate about the outdoors than someone who doesn’t know the difference between an oak and a palm.

WadinginWahoo: "Thanks friend, but we should talk less and walk faster, it's about to get dark. What you're talking about is pretty interesting, but I'm probably never gonna need all that survival informat-"

Friend: "Oh, you sure?!", while she's pushing you out of the trail and leaving you behind.

I feel the same way. I always have something to add to a conversation without turning it into an interrogation, but if the other person fails to do that, then how could I expect them to hold more organic conversations with me once they get to know me better and cannot resort to constantly just asking me questions?

I had a date where a guy quickly ran out of questions to ask and stuff to say despite having talked very little in comparison to me to begin with and I sure wasn't going to carry the conversation all the way on my own. Shortest date of my life.

I think it just has to do with the fact that I have tons of stories and experiences regarding lots of topics, so I can quickly share an anecdote or an opinion and leave enough open-ended things in them for the other person to add to or to ask some further clarifications about.

Fair. I am so anxious and in my head that it's hard. Not that I never have convos that flow well, but even in with established friends, I sometimes struggle so the idea that this can happen with strangers is unheard of for me. My first impressions tend to be lacking because of this, I think. If a person can bear with me for a few interactions and I can become comfortable with them and get my finger on the pulse of their communication style, then flow likes to make an appearance. So for me, you can only expect organic conversation after I get to know you.

I don’t go on dates anymore because I’m now married, but I want to know things they’re passionate about. Even if it’s something I find boring normally, their passion makes it much more interesting to me! And I’ll learn something new, I love that.

I want to know things they’re passionate about, even if it’s something I find boring normally, because their passion makes it much more interesting to me! And I’ll learn something new, I love that.

seriously, my interests are so scattered, I can't solely focus on one specific passion. I love sewing, crosstitch, nails, piano, online gaming, music, TV, movies, electronics, tennis, badminton, golf, yoga...but I can't say I have a passion for any specific one of those, and I switch back and forth between liking one more than the other at any given time.

I was like that, and I did some thinking and found I was actually passionate about something more conceptual. For example, I love theatre, music, film, comedy, writing, food, travel, etc. I realized I'm actually passionate about culture! Any kind of functioning culture I just want to see more of and learn more about. Knowing that has actually helped me enjoy life more.

Well it's not a bad thing. I have lots of interests too but the ones I tell everyone I'm obsessed about are those things I can't let go of. Just see what times will bring to you and enjoy doing what you like. Nobody is gonna tell you that you must have the one and only passion. ✌

I talk a lot. I realized that I can easily go on and on and not learn much about the person I’m talking to because I have a lot to say. It’s something that I’ve been actively working on. I’m always eager to listen but I realized I wasn’t asking enough questions to have the other person talk about them self so I’ve been consciously reminding myself pretty much any conversation I have to ask the other person more questions.

Some people don’t realize that they do it. There wasn’t really anything specific that made me realize it either. But when I became more aware of it I knew it was something I wanted to work on being better about.

I looove listening to people talk about a subject they know a ton about, male female black white. Even if I understand only a fraction of the words they're saying, they all have the same fiery look in their eyes.

Don’t fake anything, ever! Ask about his/her passions, be genuinely interested in them. Ask if they could introduce you to any of them! Maybe you’ll learn to crochet or ice skate or skydive or play a game? Who knows, but just be open to it. =)

Listen more, ask questions about things they are interested in, and most importantly: don't freak out and feel like you need to say something everytime there's a break in the conversation.

Ask a question that you have answers too but fully engage in their answer. Only tell them your answer if they don't ask in return. Obviously wait for a natural break in the convo. If the question is good you might not even tell them your answer.

You don't have to be passionate to be interesting, just interested in something and willing to talk about it even if you're afraid of looking like a nerd or whatever.
When people say they want to meet passionate people I think what they're really saying is they want to meet people who are able to express what they like and why they like it.
Also if you don't have anything you're passionate about there's no obvious safe topic to talk about, so make every topic safe by being vunerable and open to things they say.

I'm gonna get downvoted to hell but I found that anything with a double negative becomes a little too complex. Shouldn't be better starting with something a little more simple like what's a food that brings nostalgia to you?

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I personally like to do something active on a firtst date, partially because it gives you something to talk about. A bike ride (the surroundings, the weather, food), a not-to-long hike, going to the beach, going to the zoo, or, with bad weather, doing something indoors (climbing, maybe? Glow in the dark (midgetgolf) mini golf? Aquarium?). Potential topics include things I enjoy talking about: Favorite books, series, movies. Hobbies. Weird talents. Pets. Science. Crafts. Questions to get to know each other. What makes you get up in the morning? If you had 1M dollars, what would you do with them?

I personally like to do something active on a firtst date, partially because it gives you something to talk about. A bike ride (the surroundings, the weather, food), a not-to-long hike, going to the beach, going to the zoo, or, with bad weather, doing something indoors (climbing, maybe? Glow in the dark midgetgolf? Aquarium?). Potential topics include things I enjoy talking about: Favorite books, series, movies. Hobbies. Weird talents. Pets. Science. Crafts. Questions to get to know each other. What makes you get up in the morning? If you had 1M dollars, what would you do with them?

It just made me laugh because I'd never heard it before, we say "mini-golf". Some people get mad at the word "midget". But you speak English well enough so that I didn't guess it wasn't your first language.

"Midget" refers to a person who is very short, but normally proportioned. The term midget is now rarely used and is considered offensive. But its usage was very common until the end of the twentieth century. It has given way to "short person" or "little person".

"Dwarf" refers to a person with one of several varieties of a specific genetic condition called dwarfism. A dwarf has disproportion of body parts. This is generally caused by a genetic or nutritional disability. Any adult human below the height of 4'10" (147 cm) is considered a dwarf. With reference to [1] legends or folklore, a dwarf is considered a legendary creature resembling a tiny old man, who lives in the depths of the earth and guards buried treasure.

Yeah I had a friend of a friend who was a midget growing up, or I guess the preferred phrasing is "little person", though it always seemed an odd phrase to me. He died of medical complications in high school. When I think dwarf I think of Mr Dinklage.

I never like to drive conversations; you learn less that way. I'm a talker, but if I'm meeting a new person I like to listen more. I let them talk, and when they do I encourage them, ask questions relating to what they're saying, share anecdotes of my own that are related or similar without trying to take over the conversation or steer it too much.

Truth is, the best way to figure out what someone is really like is to let them talk, listen encouragingly, and watch a little as to how they talk about people, how they treat people, how they talk about themselves.

What I like to do, instead of trying to pick out topics, is to go 'have you tried this' when it's an available experience, then see if they're up for it. Like if you're on your way through a crowded center and see a juggler, linger. If you see something on a menu that you really love, see if they've tried it. Basically, if you treat dates as a night out with a friend you already know, suggest things that you'd do with/ suggest to them. You'll see a set of basic responses based on real experience rather than hypothetical conversations, so you'll get to know more about the person.

I once had a date with a really nice guy; we didn't click romantically but had a nice night, and on the way out, we ran into a young couple from China who had just been assaulted - nothing really serious but they'd scared them and pulled some of the girl's hair out. We both went into action/ help mode like a well-oiled machine even though we had only spent about two hours together. Called the police, gave statements, sat with them until they got there and gave them our numbers, then had a friend-hug (but a big one because we'd just been through a little thing together) and never saw each other again. He was a dude and I hope he's as happily married as I am.

Well in my story an super-powered alien gets banished to Earth for wreaking destruction on its own world (Blue) and she and he become a couple and fight the X-men and eventually befriend Deadpool. Near the end she's captured and Deadpool is just a head being lugged around by squirrels lol

I feel you but on a FIRST date I'd say play along and change the subject. "Obviously Shuri from black panther is the best one, but tbh I'm fatigued from the whole superhero thing. I'm into movies like..."

If we're on a first date, we should be getting to know eachother! Its not a bad thing that you don't like superheroes, and it's not a bad thing that I do. I feel the same way about sports as you do about superheroes so I totally get it lol

Oooof, I agree with the sentiment but on a first date I would avoid pretty much all these topics. They need to be discussed at some point because I know that relationships work a lot better with people with a similar outlook on life, but on the first date... Nope.

Yeah I understand the idea. I think it's also an age related choice - being older made me more confident and I know better what I want, what I like in people. I would be inclined to keep things a bit more light and silly on the first date though.

I think it helps keep it from feeling too much like a job interview. Right now dating culture feels very focused on “not wasting time” and it makes everyone feel a little more disposable idk I’m not a big fan. That said if politics come up naturally I think it can be kept fun/silly :)

I typically hold off because, though while you're right, I don't want to waste a minute with a person that is deadset in a political position I am not in tune with at all, I also don't want to push away a potential partner that may be politically compatible, but uninterested in talking politics. Also, if a person is a strongly political person, they will let you quickly know whether you asked them or not. You can quickly guage a person's stance one topics from the way they respond or talk about things, simply asking them to expand on something will allow them to flat out state their opinion. If I don't see any red flags on the first date, I would then start to bring up political stance on a following date.

Starting a first date conversation by discussing politics is a huge red flag for me. It implies that your political party/opinions determine who you are, rather than the other way around.

As a caveat, even if this is only true say 1/3 of the time, it's enough. Similar to people who always bring up their Diet/Video Games/GYM routine, there's a non-null they're sh*ty.

Of course this is in coordination with the rest of the conversation/date, but I'll put it down as a net negative. You can find out someone's political views just as easily by asking what websites they're usually on and it's not as big of a put off.

Sometimes it can be very important to talk politics in the first date, I don't but maybe I should. For some of us it can be a safety issue. As a trans woman, getting stuck in a situation without someone who is way right wing can get pretty bad pretty fast. Asking about someone's politics and getting the hell out of dodge is generally safer than coming out to a transphobe. Not that all to the right are transphobic, but the proportions are higher.

I’m not exactly sure when I found out my boyfriend has opposing political views but at this point I’ve made politics a mostly banned topic. My boyfriend is retired military and some of his views just don’t align with mine and I understand why.

I definitely never thought I would be capable of dating someone dumb enough to vote for trump but here I am. (He claims it was because of General Mattis who apparently all marines have some hard on for. I’ve pointed out that he can admit voting for trump was dumb now that Mattis has resigned because even he realized trump is a lunatic but he’s too hard headed.) But if I had known before hand you’re definitely right that it could’ve caused me to alienate someone who I am very compatible with.

There are important social issues that we do agree on and that’s what really matters in the long run. He has respect for women and agrees on me with issues concerning women’s rights, he’s fine with gay and trans people, he’s not some crazy immigrant hater, etc. We disagree on some ethics things because he grew up with both his dad and step-dad being cops so he thinks everything is clear cut black and white but that’s a whole other thing and actually one of the bartenders at his work has fun with me on that one asking him tough ethics questions.

Political views can be changed if the person is a reasonable person. So your goal should be to find out if the person is a person capable of logical thinking. You don´t need to bash right into politics...

I, on the other hand, think it's always a fair game to try to convince someone of being more respectful towards differences and diversity, whether you're dating, just friends or nothing at all. As long as you're polite and not too pushy.

I always tend to tie in some aspects of my political views and see how they react. For example when talking about friends ill mention my best friend and his husband. Ive actually had dates react all sorts of ways.

Here where I live Fascism is a thing and people really believe fascist times in my country had good outcomes and want it back. Plus my constitution says that reference to Fascism in politics is not allowed but still some far right dudes got voted and elected by people who openly sympathize with Facism

My tinfoil hat theory about suppressing talking about this stuff is partly to keep women complacent and compliant, but I totally agree with you. I’m not seeking somebody 100% in tune with me, we can disagree on certain things, but there are pretty important issues that are major deal breakers for me if a person thinks differently. I don’t want somebody to enter me that thinks of my gender as inferior. Pretty basic stuff.

I like that theory! Especially because anecdotally I often see men breaking the "no politics or religion in polite company rule," even when they're obviously making others uncomfortable, but I've never seen a woman do it.

Me too! I have a lot of varied interests and I don’t have that ONE thing that I’m insanely passionate about. The people who ask this are always people who have their one thing that they’ve devoted their life to and it just makes me feel strange that I don’t.

There isn't one. I guess that just isn't really how I think about conversations. I just like when conversation flows naturally and we happen to arrive at good topics. I don't like when I feel like the other person is trying to follow a formula or has really high expectations for certain questions and I need to try to look good with my answer.

I ... *HATED* that movie and she thought it was a work of art. I said it was like being actively tortured for two hours and she said it broke the system to show there didn't need to be one and I said sure if you're a monster then it went downhill from there lol.

It depends on how much I know the person before the date. Typically, I've been messaging someone for a bit before meeting them in person and by then we've talked about pets, occupation, interests, and seen if a conversation can hold. In this case, first dates would be "How's your cat?" and going more in depth with stories too long for messaging.
First dates for me are to see how someone acts publicly (manners towards others, how they react to situations, etc).

i have a huge photography book by Annie Leibovitz that i usually show to people on the first or second date. i love it because it contains a lot of really special photos of very famous people who she photographed, as well as photos of her partner Susan, their family life, and places they've been.

what i like to do is sit people down and let them go through it, and see which photos interest them the most. i dated a political scientist who told me all about the white house staff photos, and another girl i dated was totally fascinated by the photos from Annie Leibovitz's personal life (Susan Sontag is dreamy). my current partner stopped on a photo of student protests in Hong Kong and told me that it was killing him not to go back there and protest with his friends.

there's no wrong answer, it's not a test. basically, i like offering a very broad subject and seeing what the other person pulls out of it, and then following them from there.

If the conversation is flowing naturally, I don’t want to force a specific topic, but if there’s a lull I like to jokingly ask “so what’s your journey?” It’s a weird question but it usually ends up revealing some interesting stuff

What they do for fun; I feel like when you ask this question, it opens up a side of them you never know. Because these fun things are usually things they’re passionate about. Away from the image they usually display to public. Regardless if I have interests in it or not. Listening to someone tells you a world of knowledge that you probably have no idea about.

I’m attracted to people who has passion, especially when they have so much gusto in what they are passionate about.

I like fun questions like what's your most embarrassing moment, it shows them at a bad time but how they react to it now. Do they find it funny are they still mad over something small and menial. Plus it's always fun to hear new stories about how we humans are morons.

last time I was dating, back in like 2010, I was tired of the typical "what movies do you like?" "what's your favorite music artists?", and etc. Instead, I started every conversation with "what do you think of the North Korea situation?" since I was really interested in every news article and documentary about it at the time. The question threw a lot of people off, but I ended up meeting someone that ended up responding right away, going into all the details about the atrocities, talking about their own interests in teaching English to South Korean students and the students thoughts on their proximity to North Korea and the events happening there. The conversation lasted for several hours, all about that topic alone. It was great to find someone that shared an even stronger passion than I thought I had about a topic.

I had one of the best first date conversations about Marvel vs. DC universe, it was a funny back and forth pros/cons. We both are pretty nerdy and it definitely showed. Conversation didn't lag and we had a great time. Other favorite topics: books, nature, movies. I try to stay away from things that are hot button issues.

If things are going well, I'm usually a fan of the favourite drunken stories routine later in the night. Regular small talk is basically my bouncing board to get to life stories that are wild and/or embarassing because those are the most fun to listen to and, for me, often the most fun to tell.

I do the 36 Questions to Fall in Love when I'm out of ideas. Granted I haven't been on a first date in 6 years but my partner and I did it when we were bored during a date one night and it works a treat!

Random things, honestly. I’m not a fan of small talk insert let’s talk about your credit card joke here but honestly I love talking about deep things. Depends how the conversation flows, but random stories, funny anecdotes, and just random things about life are good.

LOL it’s a meme I see all the time which originally was something like “I hate deep talk, I wanna discuss the universe with you” etc etc but people made it funnier by saying “I hate deep talk, I wanna talk about the universe, deep things, your credit card number”.

I like to get right to the heart of it. I don't like talking about job stuff - most people hate their jobs so it really sets a poor tone. I ask them what their passions are - conversations always flow from there.

I strongly prefer naturally flowing conversation to being asked a set of prepared questions that that person always asks on dates. Like, I'd rather hear a funny anecdote from your life, or about a book or tv show you're getting into, or about your dog than be asked wild hypotheticals ("if you were an animal, what animal would you be?", "What's your plan to survive the zombie apocalypse?", "What super power would you choose?", etc.), job interview questions ("where do you see yourself in 5 years?"), or questions that the asker thinks are deep ("what brings you joy?", etc.).

I don't like my date trying to dominate or control the conversation or steer it toward safe or preplanned topics.

Talking to people in a way that makes them like you is easy. All you need to do is ask questions and listen - really listen - to the answers. I don't mean interrogate her, obviously. I mean take some topic she brings up herself and ask her to tell you more. Be interested. If you have direct experiences drawn from your own background, offer those up from time to time.

Don't be afraid to say "I know nothing about this. Can you tell me more / explain it to me?" It's WAY worse to pretend to know everything than it is to acknowledge areas where she knows more than you. You won't fool a well educated woman with your 2 or 3 YouTube videos worth of education or your made-up-on-the-spot theories.

Be mindful of how much air time you're taking up when you talk about yourself, and be on the lookout for signs you're getting boring. If you see she's losing interest in your life story, for God's sake don't try to recover by ramping it up even more. Say "but I don't want to spend all night talking about myself, tell me more about you!"

To be clear, I'm not saying you're like that. I don't know you. I'm describing a hypothetical amalgam of all the men I've been out with who were such shitty conversationalists that their boringness alone denied them a second date (or even the continuation of a first date).

They all had these qualities in common - pretending to be experts on subjects I knew much more about, dominating the conversation, and babbling endlessly about themselves without exhibiting the slightest spark of interest in my life or my thoughts.

Religion and politics, if we don't see eye to eye here then there's no need for another date. I'm operating on old models here though I've never made a date online before so maybe these two topics would already be taken care of by the first date?

If it's a great conversation flow, I won't actively notice where it's heading and that's how it should be however, I do open up more to deep topics around art, fashion, literature, philosophy and (foreign) film.

If it's a great conversation flow, I won't actively notice where it's heading and that's how it should be however, I do open up more deep topics around art, fashion, literature, philosophy and (foreign) film.

Agreed. I’m purposely a bit vague about family because it’s always awkward when I mention that my mom died. I don’t want a guy to feel bad for me on a first date and it’s a very personal thing, so I tend to just change the topic before it’ll come up.

I’m a metal head and enjoy all music. I just can’t handle the level of elitism that often comes with it. I’ve just never enjoyed a conversation about music with anyone. It’s nice to know what music genres you’re into, but I don’t go beyond that.

Last dinner date I went to was a bit painful. The guy wasn't very talkative and I was forcing myself out of my comfort zone, asking small talk questions and trying to get him to talk. I'm pretty sure the waitress noticed how awkward it was.

Later that night he confessed that English isn't his first language and more or less didn't want to say anything stupid. He suggested we leave the restaurant so we went to a local bar near by. And honestly, after a couple of drinks in, that was hands down the best date I've been on. Lots good vibes.

So with that being said, I prefer dates that automatically have alcohol involved and have conversations about what we are passionate about and what we have been through to find beyond the surface connections.

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My boyfriend can watch his anime that I can’t stand (literally NEVER would’ve guessed he was the type and it really cracks me up because that was one of my “I could never date someone who likes that” things) and I can watch my trashy reality tv shows. We just do it at different times and never force the other person to watch it. I literally give him the remote when I’m falling asleep so he can change the tv to whatever he wants to watch after I fall asleep.

Nope! There are no “correct” or “incorrect” answers in dating because I’m not ultimately “right”. Like I said, it’s something to keep in mind if that person and I were to move forward as that’d be fundamental value that does or does not differ. :)

I usually let the conversation go it's own way. If we get lost in a great dialogue, that's awesome. But typically, I like to get a good idea of someone by the end of the date such as where they work, where they're from, what they do as a hobby, how old they are, etc. Really depends on the person too though. I'm 21 so a "what are you trying to do with your career? What school do/did you go to?" are good questions for someone my age.

I don't mind crafted questions as a first message on an app/site, but once we meet, I'm not into the superhero/what animals would you be/tell me what time period you'd have liked to be born in style questioning.

I like to o to a coffee shop or grab a drink and walk outside for a bit. Conversation tends to flow naturally (you don't know much about eachother, so its pretty easy to talk about work, childhood, family, what you did last weekend, etc). But if there is a lull, you can comment on that cute dog that just walked past or haha what's that kid at the other table doing?

At worst, if you need something to break a silence, ask if they've seen a good movie/read a good book/what they're watching on Netflix lately.

But I found that I was over eager to share too much too early. Things were better when I decided ahead of time what NOT to talk about. And switched topic to asking him stuff if one of those topics came up.

One of my favorite questions is “What weird smell brings back memories from your childhood?” It’s a weird question that opens up conversations about a lot of different things, and I can gauge from their reaction to the question whether or not they’re comfortable talking with me.

I hate any topic that involves personal questions. To me, great conversations are like a series of statements that go back and forth between 2 interested people, and questiohs one asks oneself. If questions become necessary, it's not a good conversation for me. I couldn't care less how tall someone is, or what their favourite colour is, or how they'd describe themselves in emojis... I care about what's at the heart of them as humans, what fulfils them, what energises and deenergises them, how they behave around, and treat, others, what they've learnt about life and love, what they think about the past and future...

When we can turn our peculiarities into strengths I feel a lot more comfortable with trying to meet with someone again. People who don't acknowledge and work with their traits tend to be off-putting to me.

Politics and their personal interests and hobbies. It tells me a lot about their core values and whether we're compatible. If they're not willing to talk about politics, or if they don't have personal interests, it's also a good sign that they won't be around too long...

Linguistics, because that is just hands-down my favourite topic under any circumstance. Also, and I know a lot of people shy away from it, politics. I am very involved in politics, and I find it best to know where I stand with another person from the start. If we are incompatible that way, it is a deal-breaker, and I'd rather not waste everybody's time.

I go more for the "ask something simple and see how they react to tell who they are" like, whats your favorite color? I feel like answering that is simple, but some people really get pissed at it for different reasons x.x

I really like asking what their favorite movies/ TV shows are. I'm not a cinema "snob" because I enjoy a whole bunch of different genres, actors/actresses, media's, etc. I'm guilty of putting on "Say Yes to the Dress", which makes my husband roll his eyes, but I'll also watch his "Rootin' Tootin" shows, as I call them, like Deadwood and Tombstone. He's a big buff on recognizing actors' faces/voices (that random background actor on Law and Order 10 years ago? Oh, that's him doing the voice of that cartoon character!)

The conversation brings up so much of what reflects their personalities: if they are a big cinema person, do they like dramas or comedies, what about both? It can give you such an insight to a person!

I find commiserating about past awkward dates funny. Highlights for me include, the dude who showed up and was forty years older than his picture and maybe forty years older than Jesus too, the guy who listed himself as light skinned despite being Don Cheadle black (I like all colours don’t know why he lied, it’s not like I wouldn’t notice) and the guy who showed up in bicycle shorts (you could clearly see his twig and berries) every one has comical awkward dates and having a laugh and not taking it too seriously has always lead to at the very least good friendships starting.

I know it's considered a "bad" topic on the first date, but I absolutely need to discuss basic world view/lifestyle things such as children, religion, and career path.

These are super important to everyone but they're my main and maybe only dealbreakers. So I just want to get it out of the way so we don't waste our time.

I refuse to date a woman who has or wants children. I'm an atheist so I don't date anyone who follows Abrahamic religions*. I can not see myself with someone who would be happy with a traditional career or is an academic. I need to be with another artist, a blue collar worker, a small business owner, etc.

*Mostly for their sake. I'm kind of used to it as a black lesbian in the bible belt who dates other black lesbians in the bible belt. it feels more like a cultural thing. but I'd assume most traditionally religious people don't want to be with atheists)