were these Psychoses already in her, from birth....or did they come from Chemical Influences?

i really wish i knew The Reason.

even if you went ahead and dropped the [non-toxic] herbicides over all known marijuana/opium/Coca crops, we'd still be left with the controlled substances that The Government sanctions, and permits continued manufacture of: we're going to get high, one way or another, no matter if the drugs are [of] legal[-status] or [of] illegal[-status].

i say all of this, even though i know i am merely howling into the wind when i do so ─ but i definitely appreciate my nearly-unrestricted ability to express such sentiments, none-the-less.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

although i don't have to accept It, it certainly behooves me to acknowledge It.

but i don't want to sink to those very depths that i see My Fellow Man regularly submerse himself in: no matter how tempting.. ..no matter how often it appears that He is able to wallow around, Down There, without incurring any [earthly-]consequence unto himself..........i want to continue trying to live life on the Positive-side of the spectrum, up until the day that someone forcibly ends my life.

...

(granted, I don't want anyone to muder me──i'd rather it be at my own hands that i die──but, given what goes on, in This Day & Age, it would be in my best interest not to delude m'self: i will also continue trying to exercise Due Vigilance, and employing as much common sense as i have been imbued with, in order to stay alive....but there's only so much i can do, on my own.

on top of all the other factors that might shorten my time Here, i'm just not a popular guy: not especially since i have Unpopular Opinions i like to express .)

i'm tired of having to hide......if I'm going down, i will do my best to take at least 5 or 6.. ..-thousand other cock↕suckers with me.

...you mean to tell me, that although i am expected to continue paying taxes,──for fear of Severe Penalty if i opt not to,──i won't be able to enjoy the same privileges that my heterosexual brethren & sistern get to have with those monies?

FUCK THAT SHIT.

FUCK THOSE PUTOS.

we should see what kinda additional-Economic Impact every cock-suckin' & carpet-munchin' person can make by not spending another dime in the country that continues to allow us to be bashed for something as inconsequential as our choice of Sex Partners.

i feel so used....i actually have to make a contribution to the [exorbitant] salaries of the very Congressional/Judiciary Members who deign not even consider lifting a finger to shape legislation that can make my and my kins' lives a bit more peaceful, and safe? to the coppers who might actually help some homophones beat my head in?

oh?

todos puros, don't be a fuckin' hypocrite: if you don't like The Gays so much, then don't take our fuckin' money.

Monday, January 28, 2008

i was glad to be back in the fucking house, i tell ya: all the walking, all the lugging around, all the sweating; but, for my troubles, i got to save $3.50, and i was able to get some exercise, to boot.

i had a mission i [need]ed to accomplish, and was determined to git'r done™ as soon as possible.

i'm sure that The Woman had been trying her best when crafting This, these past few years but, no, her best has just simply not been good enough; it's sorta like, as time went on, Mother lost some of her heart for cooking [properly], if it's not to be for a Special Occasion.

all i've been wanting was a decent-damn Home↕Made Soup to nosh on: a soup that holds up no matter how many subsequent-times it gets reheated....a soup that tastes like someone gave A Fuck in making it, the first time.

yep.

if i want something done right, i'd obviously have to .. do It myself.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

the fun thing is, i don't cook.

basically.

over the last 9 or so years, it's been canned-goods, frozen-goods, take-out. . .and cereals, if/when Mother didn't feel like throwing anything together for the four of us.

?

but now it was time for me to draw upon my memories. (eventually i will have to cook more things from scratch, so, i needed to see just how good my latent ability was ─ ´how much i have picked up, and retained, from previous Observings.)

with That, i would start getting set-up: for making a chunky-disposition soup, i'd chop up the carrots and celery into reasonable-sized pieces.. ..and, as was luckily-consistent with my objective, i would employ the fewest-slices possible across the onion to minimize my contact with It, to prevent The Funk from getting lodged under my nails, and what↕not:

´rinse ´em,

´throw ´em into The Big Pot filled with water,

´throw The Basic Seasonings in there...

...and discover that we didn't have no fuckin' Chicken Bouillon-cubes around, as i had originally presumed, after all.

/sigh

i had a feeling i shoulda picked some up while i was still at the store but, ´ch'know, That Occurance merely served me right for trying to be Optimistic for once in my life.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

´hoping that, maybe, the chicken meat(♫-1), its self, would eventually lend enough flavour to generate a decent-tasting broth(♫-2), i just went on ahead and put That in there, to get things rolling; after a while, i was able to see that, no, That Strategy wasn't going to cut it: i needed those fucking Cubes.

´long story, shortened: about halfway through, i finally got my mom to drive me down to the store that was 9-blocks(♫-3) away ─ she certainly made me wait for It, indeed she did: apparently she was so into her "Little Activity" in which she was engaged at the time that she even told me that instead of having us go out to store that was just a few minutes' drive away for the cubes that i should just settle for employing Corn↕Starch.

which would have defeated the entire point of me making The Soup in the first place, if you bear in mind Corn↕Starch is not a flavouring- but a thickening-agent.

?

(plus, almost all ingredients i was using were bought by me; on top of That, she should've figured, well, as long as i won't have to cook anything for The Boys for a couple of nights, i should just go on and spend the few minutes helping this muther↕fucker get his shit....)

i was serious when i told her i was gonna be in-and-out of the store as quickly as possible, it took me less than 5-minutes to complete my transaction: expedited thanks to the Self-Checkout Line; an over↕all total of 11-minutes was spent, coming & going.

~↕↕~

so.. ..the next thing i needed to tackle was Noodles.

it's been over 16-fucking_years, unbelievably, since i've last had linguine-chicken soup: made by Pop Pop, just once(♫-4).it was as good as fuck, i tell ya......and i wanted to recreate That for us to enjoy, if not at least one more time.

(i actually tried to get my mom to make That, once, some years back, but....i guess her imagination was just too limited to want to take me up on the challenge.)

maybe now you're able to bear winess, a glimpse of at least a bit of the signifigance This Mission has for me; i decided to use Fettucine for this particular go-around.

in the spirit of continuing to avoid those fatalities that has doomed most of Mother's Soups, i had already decided not to boil the pasta with the broth(♫-5); to get a hopefully_better-tasting product, i would need to trade washing out two-additional pots after i was through with them: 1.98 lbs., total, of fettucine was getting used for this production.

*phew.*

meanwhile, the broth, its self, was tasting pretty nice, and was exhibiting the consistency i had desired:

A Watery One.

~↕↕~

...jumping ahead, a bit more, my little bros actually ate everything that i put in their bowls: i have not known for them to like vegetables, but, i guess for me. . . . .

. . . . .all-in-all, my soup was good.it definitely held-up over the few days it was stored in the ´fridge, too..

..but, Mom, herself, didn't give me an opinion about it.. ..I don't even know what she did with the serving that I meted out for her consumption.

(maybe she was Jealous?

yes?

no?

maybe so?)

not-withstanding-That, i did make note of some things i must do differently, next time; for, if i meet those condition, it should be almost a shoe-in, that my soup can undoubtedly be considered ***da motha↕fuckin' bomb***:

use less water: the broth was nice,──don't get me wrong: it was a product far superior to what Mom has been putting out,──but it was still rather dilute....´not as strong as it could have been

use more chicken: i didn't know. sosumi. i did want the stew to be pretty dense with Meat.. ..and it might have been, if i had employed the 4th of 4 Breasts i bought

use more vegetables: naw, i mean. you know. i'm a pretty-hard↕core guy(♫-6). i was aiming for an Old School-feeling for this all the way. like This. no one who is in his right mind would ever complain about there being too many chunks of celery, carrots, or onion, b'sides.

i cannot wait to have another go at This, now that i have a better idea of how to approach the fucker; i think, for the next time, i'll use Shells.(and i will definitely use less water, as i had discovered most of the Chunky Elements were hiding all the way at the bottom of the pot!)when i tackle Ground Beef & T'mat`r Sauce, i will probably use Shells again......but i will also throw in some mozzerella cheese, to mix things up.

at the moment, i'm not interested in Exotic, but, rather, Basic Fare; the rest can fall into place, later.

(♫-1) (boneless, nearly-skinless, Breast)(♫-2) (something that was critically-important for me, seeing as This was the area most-often fucked-over by Mother's last several attempts.)(♫-3) (a trek i could have easily made, except, uh, i had just gotten back in from a long night of Work, and, even if not, she wasn't likely to watch my soup while i was away.)(♫-4) (that I am aware of.)(♫-5) (remember what Starch does?)(♫-6) (l.o.l.)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

i'll just watch more You↕Tube, and Pr0ns, in lieu of the Tee↕Vee, until muther↕fuckers get their shit back together again.

it sucks, though, that apparently the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers is so fucking greedy It doesn't even want to give what seems to be just a nominal share of non-traditional_media-profits to the individuals that make The Shit possible in the first place.

l.o.l.

do you realize what an average production would look like if there were no words for an actor to recite or ... a set of Actions scripted for this actor to execute?

it.. ..it would just be a n***er standing around staring blankly, into the camera; looking down to the floor; or, miscellaneously, picking in his Nose, and shit; if you want to get technical about it, that person really would be limited to doing either That, or, exhibiting actions/reactions that are involuntary: an actress, herself, can easily be classified as a writer, even for making up things on The Spot, "unscripted" ─ once she meets That Condition, she is essentially functioning under the capacity of a writer ── albeït a writer who is composing material just for herself in her head ─── setting-up the bases and guidelines for what she(, and, by extension, possibly her cohorts,) does and says specifically for the audience's Intake/Enjoyment.

now, This, of course, is not the same thing as what goes on with true-Reality Programming, where the expectation is that, for the most part,──if not entirely,──nothing may scripted/rehearsed/planned for on-air use for the people you're watching [by a {third-party}]: meaning, no person, who will not be getting filmed, will be getting paid to advise a person on what to do/say: for, once that person makes such directives that the People You Watch are to follow, he must be considered a script-crafter.

(this is how you get to be a writer/director, by-the-by ─ when you have a vision that is so complete, you can not only put It to paper but are also able to orchestrate how It should play out, visually.)

i believe the same thing may be applied to Documentaries....the subjects may pre-plan what They want to say to us, but, the autologue generally is limited to Self; not including The Mockumentary, you can't really make up Facts.. ..´just how you choose to present these facts for our consideration.

/digress

what galls me is the fact that there are still actually people who just don't get what the Writers are trying to fight for; ´not a lick of Empathy from the fuckers.

(from what i've observed, the lack of {or unwillingness to employ} Empathy is one of the other main causes of Human Strife.)

as if you wouldn't be saying the exact-same-thing They are: when you realize that someone is still making money from off'n somethin' you had a pivotal role in crafting....but They're not letting you share in the proceeds, (no matter how negligible)......presumably, you will propose undertaking some Corrective Actions to fix this over↕sight, yourself.

no matter where your work is being exhibited.

it would be like the Host/Coördinator taking all accolades & kudos given by the people at a Banquet for the food that was served there ... especially when he had lain nary a Finger upon anything in the prep-area: not even the Dijon Ketchup; and then continues to shamelessly accept future benefits of that successful outing without properly-distributing that shit to all those fuckers who were Behind The Scenes.

as a chef, you're not going to ask for every penny generated by the event....but, certainly, you will want that Fair Share from it; if the host decides to replicate one of your recipes, for example, i believe you'd be the first to remind Her, hey now, just make sure you tell these people where you got that Tasty Idea from in the first place!.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

even if writers, individually, get paid a total of A Million Dollars-per-exhibition_of_Work on Television and Theatre Showings, well, let them get paid a few ten-thousands more, if the other players are getting an extra hundred-thousand dollars from the "alternative media"; if you experience Cognitive Dissonance for being paid what you feel is too much for a contribution you believe is seemingly miniscule in importance/exertion, just donate that excess to A Worthy Cause, and don't seek a Tax Write-off for that sum↕bitch.

a matter that should be easy to fix isn't being handled as such.

i'm really not seeing what the problem is ─ if my r'c`lection works properly, a disturbing number of these [successful] [Actors] don't know what to do with all the [millions] they have been paid, anyway: so, why not just redirect 7-10% from the total earnings to the writers, huh? if Shit was good enough, everyone else will still be able to take home a nice pay↕check, at the end of The Work Day.

y'know....i've been meaning to write about the trappings of My Job for quite a while, now.

~↕↕~

oh yes, there will be much Bitching and Cursing in that post: because there are things going on Over There that piss me off......and i need to get That Shit from off m` chest.

i also plan to whip-up a little something on the varying-inadequacies of our Public Transport-system: it's like dealing with Baboons over here, getting the bus coaches to arrive ±2-minutes when they're scheduled to; i also don't like having to fear for my Safety while riding select-lines, neither.

before i forget ... i just want to mention that, on the 6th of This Month, i got together with That Guy i mentioned to you from a few weeks ago, once again. ☺; and i actually broke a sweat, this time around..

..so i guess i was taking this particular session more seriously.

heh.

the most-noteworthy_thing i can think of to share with you about our latest rendezvous is, This [Gentleman] really seems to like gripping heads and fucking faces!

jesus h. christ.

he actually made my head involuntarily bob back`n´forth for a few seconds after he, uh, "got through with me."

──────────>

(if he hadn't been so piggish he coulda actually unloaded in my mouth(♫) instead of on The Carpet {yet again} but i needed to catch my god↕damn breath at some point-in-time so i reck'n he lost out on that opportunity now didn't he?)

and you know i am going to have to pay his ass back for This, suffice to say: me giving him The Pearl Necklace when it was My Turn just wasn't enough..

..´next time, i might have to leave him with a sore ass.and a Gullet full of My Sticky Stuff.

(♫) (before you get any Ideas, i want to remind you that i am definitely a Spitter and not a Swallower; additionally, it is a seemingly-rare event when i allow someone to jizz in m` mouth, in the first place.)

Saturday, January 19, 2008

´turns out It wasn't so hard to obtain the information for what the music used in "That Video" was, after all:

Hervé Roy's

Lover's Theme.

´just ran a simple search on It not even 40-minutes ago [from the writing of this statement]; now i can go to sleep, in a few more-minutes, with one less issue plaguing me thence.

if yinz, y'allselves, wanna Rock Out wit'cha Cock Out, then you too may, for now, access the original version, which actually was released over 15-years ago, Hither.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

*(shrug)*

that is some good-sounding shit .. it's just unfortunate It was brought to my attention by a vile source and that, for the average human, he will not be able to disassociate said source from that musical piece.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

´seeing all the [fuckers] say self-righteous shit in their Personals ADs like i am not here to hook-up, and you had better not send me a message asking for That, either.

or i'll keel↕haul ya.......who then turn around and post pictures that, at their best, leave little for your Imagination to wonder over about them or, at their worst, let you see their whole Kit`n´Kiboodles.

don't You just hate that?

i do.

Hypocrisy generally annoys me to no end.

it is this simple: irregarding whatever fuckin' service you're using, if all you seek is Chat Companions or/and Friends, (even a [monogamous-]Relationship), then all you can reasonably post is just pictures of your face as accompaniment for your AD.

That's it.

(you're pushing it, extremely, if you elect to show off an image of your Torso, as well..

..but, as long as you're not posturing yourself in a sexually-suggestive_manner at that time, then, i s'pose i can overlook your Display.

{i mean, shit ─ i'm a sexual, sensual being ── i can appreciate the presentation of [good-looking] flesh when it is in front of me.})

you can't be posting pictures of your Frank`n´Beans, or/and your Great Divide; say ah, but, don't come over here hittin' me up to trick around wit'cha, mayne; and then get mad when a guy,──who's usually just an illiterate horne↕dogue anyway,──comes a-barkin' up your tree anyway.

what in the fuck else did you expect to have happen??

´dumb-fuck.

and do you know whom else i love?

those guys who put up all sorts and kinds of pictures of their Hooty↕Hole, and then defend their right to have that up, while stipulating

just because i have pictures of my Arse all splayed wide-open does not mean i am a slut or even a Big Old Bottom, for that matter.

oh yeah?

well.. .."you might not be a Whore, but..........you certainly are wearing a Whore's Uniform!"

´dumb-fuck.

you would think I'd be the fucker who's more prone to utilizing such cheap tactics to draw peoples' attention to me, in considering that, at the moment, i advertise myself as a person who seeks only sex or/and friends; however, as is consistent with my contrarian-approach to a lot of things, i don't.

it's always been my Mug↕Shots, with just a couple of uses of Bared Torso peppered in there, over the years, for what apparently is an Indequate Measure, for these fags.

:-).

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

while i'm ranting about Pics: if i get accosted by another muther↕fucker who has files that are obviously from [1998] who talks about all of the varying ways in which he wants me to fuck him or, worse yet, how he wants to Fuck My Face, then i will scream.

what is it, in his demented little-mind, that is making him believe he has the right to pursue That?

these days, i rarely hold on to images for longer than 3-4 months(♫)....and, once them months have passed, them fuckers are replaced with New Shits.

period.

no ifs, ands, or butts.

(??

buts.)

´them bastards who say oh, but, [Rex], i look the same, then-as-now; so ... who in the hell do you think you are asking me to supply you a new pic??.

l.o.l.

´fuckin' bitches.

all i want is just for there to be an even-playing field; it's only fair that if you are able to see what I,──with no more than 4-months' difference on it,──look like, then i should have the same opportunity availed to Me from you.

i don't think i'm askin' for too much.

nor do i feel that it is especially-cumbersome for you to come to me with an image that i can actually review properly: ´niggiz be like 500-feet back in a picture ... wit` a base↕ball cap, Fake Mustacchio and shades on and shit, having the gumption to counter-query me with you said you wanted something recent didn't you?

well, i took that sum↕bitch just two weeks ago.

ha ha.

´smart ass.

´kiss my ass, ya fuck↕wad.

´fuck outta heah wit` dat none↕sense!

´niggas be all shady and shit....like they got some Murky Intentions they wanna surprise me with, or sump'n`.

but i don't even know what the point of going through all of That is.i mean, i should like to think i have more going for me besides my penis......and, i feel that i am not unattractive.so, i don't want guys goin' after me just for my dick......´similar in the manner how i like to treat prospective-Sexing Partners.

ya know?

i mean, fuck, if i all I wanted was an orgasm, my left-hand is more than capable of capturing That Flag for me ─ even without foreplay: [in the presence of] the right kind of [Erotic Imagery], i can bust_a_nutt® in as little as 40-seconds.

or sooner.

~↕↕~

jiminy crickets....how hard is it to just find a guy [who is {minimally-}compatible with me]??

and what, precisely, is the Major Mental Malfunction of the individuals who just refuse to put a decent-damnèd photo of their Faces up?

huh?

(♫) (and i have an overall_good-track_record of keeping m'self Up-to-Date as such, too.)

it is extra-disturbing, for me, to see that shit happen on Tee↕Vee, where people surruptitiously fuck-over all sorts of viable food↕stuffs ... and i really wish They would do away with that Sports Tradition of dunking [Gatorade™] on people as their means of Celebrating A Victory.

That Ain't Cool.

this, not to even mention how much perfectly good food [that Homeless People wouldn't mind having some of, if persons with Stable Domiciles wouldn't necessarily be inclined to ingest That] routinely gets tossed by Hotels, Grocery Stores, etc.

:-).

(and the Anorexians who, if they really feel so_fuckin'_bad about eating Shit, should just let themselves starve, or, just relegate themselves to eating Bread ─ ´let the rest of the people who ain't got that Psychosis have at the food that They would merely puke-up {for recreation} later, anyway.)

to know that all of This goes on while simultaneously being aware that I, more or less, am powerless to stop Its perpetuation bothers me, a little bit.

Dr King’s dream began to be realised when President Lyndon Johnson passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. It took a president to get it done.

well ... didn't it?i mean, i myself am not especially inclined towards voting for Mrs. Clinton....but if i were to come up with a reason for why not?, that would not be it.

any [black] person with a set of Functioning Eyes & Ears should be able to easily find the truth in that proclamation of hers ─ i myself find it very hard to believe that white people, in majority, would have let go of their Prejudgatory Ways if no one had compelled them to.

:-).

in addition to the obvious-undercurrent of Racism/neo-Jim Crowism that's remained even after CRA1964, there are still individuals who are quite proud of their ignorance, and would love nothing more than to be granted even the slightest of opportunities to flaunt their hatred of and disrespect for blacks, et al.(♫)

?

why would you want to try to pretend That doesn't exist?

why would you want to try to pretend that it wouldn't require some kind of Outside Force to get fuckers to civilly act right?

so, give the chick a break ... take her apart on something that matters, please.

(♫) (i also have my eye trained on those non-caucasians who, in their desperate attempt to

escape that Wrathful Grip of The White Anger;

try to gain acceptance from Those Whites Who Do, Actively, Practice Discrimination,

Monday, January 14, 2008

what else can account for all of these peoples' acting as nuttily as Fruit↕Cakes?

it's just.. ..i never estimated that things will have gotten as endemically-bad as They have, so quickly.

i... ...i actually heard the reports of those three gun↕shots that were fired at [the unspecified individual] at That Bus↕Stop, last wednesday evening† ... with Ambulances and Po↕Pos zooming over to the scene,──thereby cordoning off Traffic from that side of the island,──just minutes later..

..and i had to be across the street from That Very Stop just a couple of hours later so i could try to get to work!

damn it.

(you can imagine I wasn't very pleased.)

i hate to be all about the Doom`n´Gloom, but, prospects really aren't looking very good for man↕kind.

frankly.

consider the multi-tiered issues that Marylanders have with the various-Tax Increases mr. o'malley recently pushed through, for instance:

one thing i can never be in support of is Members of Congress, and the like, consistently giving themselves raises while opposing the implementation of an all-across_the-board Living Wage-initiative for the rest of us ─ They're telling me they get to be able to [have the opportunity to] maintain their own Qualities of Lives while approving all these little "increases" in myriad-Living Expenses, but we apparently are expected to continue to live. . . . .from Paycheck to Paycheck?

with nary an objection to be made about That, no less?

is That right?

yeah?

i see.

okay.

whatever.

(fuckers.)

on the other hand, if there truly is An Problem with our budget, well, that sum↕bitch needs to be dealt with, in short order. i'd rather there be an increase of Taxes than a cut in Vital Programs, Yobs, etc. but, as i've said before ... i maintain the preference for obtaining the monies for resolving That Matter from They who can afford to cough up some extra pennies; in addition to That, it truly would be nice if there could be a significant-reduction in Bureaucratic Wastefulness, and Pork, in the first place ─ i'd like to imagine that a few more Pennies could be found, thither-hencely(♫-1).

failing That, we need to go after mr. erlich for his having clandestinely-pooped out this Rotten Egg, and then leaving it hid for another fucker to find, dispose of, and sanitize after; then we need to raid His pockets to recover some of the clean-up costs ... then we need to raid the republikans' pockets for their putting into office the Big Stinker who'd lay the ground↕work for that future Short↕Fall...

...

...then we need to have Shut The Fuck Up, those other people that are bitchin`n´complainin' about:

what ostensibly needs to be done, and

that person who, indeed, is putting his neck out onto The Line to, y'know, git'r done ™.

we don't need no pussy niggas runnin' The Show ─ by definition, a Bitch Nigger ain't gonna make no kind of effort to run a show, no↕ways; he would just be A Lame, caving in to the fuckin' dumb-assèd_Public's Opinion for everything [that The Public says it believes is best for It].

ha.

don't shoot the messenger: shoot The Originator.

~↕↕~

so, a few centuries ago, some Whities left from europe, to come to what shall eventually be named america. okay. what would happen, from that Fateful Day and onward, bore genesis to the chain of events that lead... ...almost everyone in the world to where We are, now.

i don't suppose i should be really shocked that Things are like They are, in considering what this lovely country, its self, was built from; basically:

Corruption.

:-).

a little while after "settling", The White Man proceeded to do a bit more robbing, via the Mexícan-American War; what That means is, we took something from Mexícans ─ their land.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

so, in the year 200[8], when Americans talk about Illegal Immigrants, they really refer to Mexícans; i s'pose That's fair enough, in considering that it seems a majority of those individuals are, in fact, from Mexíco.

(and the words made from the root Mexíc, themselves, admittedly are somewhat-strange, and strong-sounding; so i, just a smidgeon, can understand why They'd rather say "The Illegals" than "The Mexícans".)

the original problem Americans seem to have with Mexícans is the, uh, Third World Shennanigans(♫-2) that a sizable-number do bring with them, south from The Border; actually, this Apprehension of ours can, successfully, be applied to any third-world fucker who comes here on the sly ..... it's just, coïncidentally, most of this country's illegals are of Latino/Natural American-descent.

if i have interpreted Shit properly, then the next problem that plagues the Americans entails [undocumented] individuals having the ability to partake of resources that should be reserved only for They who, uh......and when you remember what happened to the Natural Americans, you──if you have any conscience──will then feel at least awkward, when you proceed to say "...They who were here first." (which, actually, included some of the very Mexícans who were living in areas that The White Man eventually snaked ´em for.)

:-).

a country ... that was, more-or-less, built[-up] by Illegal Immigrants(♫-3), having a problem with other immigrants showing up, here.

how quaint.

quaint but, somewhat, valid; by no means am i happy with the means through which I & My Predecessors got here, but, seemingly,

Possession Is Nine-Tenths of The Law

,

and, ´extremely-fucked as It was,

what's done is done

.

i want to be able to enjoy the shit that The Enslaved, and their future progeny, had created, and set the foundation for creating ..... i do not want to be told, the reason that [XYZ] is unavailable for you is, we felt sorry for This [Undocumented] Bloake, so we just let that person have It.

sorry, Chief..

you can imagine how That would make me feel.

with the exception of providing the bare minimum of Medical Care necessary to help a fellow human being get from out of Harm's Way, i really don't want Our Shit being ... liberally-handed out to fuckers who.. ..presumably won't pay their Fair Share for living in this fucked-up mess of a Country of ours.(♫-4)

how is this for a question:

Should Drivers' Licences Be Issued To Illegal Immigrants?

i'd imagine that, to an average person's ears, that query would sound quite absurd; but, just a few mornings ago on a News Broadcast, that was the very thing posited to viewers to call in about.

l.o.l.

i don't care what the ethnicity of that sum↕bitch is......fuck-no he can't get any sort of Driving Privileges!

if he has no intention of ever being a productive member of This Society....if, especially, instead, he intends to be a destructive member of This Society, then, i cannot, in Good Conscience, sanction his flourishing here.

actually.. ..i'm not sure i can feel good about any other new non-native indiwidual setting up shop in This Country, now......illegally-present, or otherwise: there's already enough competition just from the fuckers already extant Hither for me to contend with, as it is....so, i really don't need some additional Hot Shot Fuckers coming over and, in mere weeks or months, snatching up shit that individuals who have already been here for generations should be able to have First Dibs on.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

´speakin' of, actually: the third-most prominent Point of Contention americans say they have with the illegalents is those peoples' taking jobs from the natives.

l.o.l.

That is a good one, in considering that these "jobs" that you are referring to are ones that, succinctly, were the ones that Slaves used to do: Menial/Manual Labour(times)2,000.

yal fuckers(♫-5) don't really want those Jobs; as integral as They are [to keeping this particular system of things running], it seems like CEOs will never part ways with enough of the profit they reap [from off your Back↕Breaking Efforts] to pay you what you'd deem your fair share; and even if They did.. ..well, an average american, frankly, pro'ly fancies himself too good to work such occupations "so beneath" him anyway ─ especially-more-so, if they're ones that don't, ([may the] Heaven[s] Forbid), fall within that so-heterosexually_constrictive/typical time↕frame of 9-to-5, Monday-through-Friday(♫-6), (♫-7).

heh.

thereïn lay The Quandry:

let The Undocumented Mexícans, et al.,──who don't really want to strive for much else besides just keeping A Roof over their heads,──stay so they can continue to perform the crap jobs, or give them y todos sus familías the boot de aquí?

should the united states try to pay off at least some of the debt it immediately owes Mexíco by pumping funds down into It so they can, eventually, gain enough footing to be self-reliant, and, theoretically, no longer have a need to come up here, except for just to visit and get laid/drunk?

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

ya know ... i find it kinda ironic, how many people out there seem to like thinking of me as being a person [who is more inclined towards being a perpetrator of evil than good]; in actuality, it seems, in one form or another, as if i get to be The Victim more than i get to be the Victimizer; for a further-extension of The Irony, it is because of This that i conduct myself in the manner that i, for quite some time, have been.

although i cannot say that i've had it really rough,──not even for someone of my as-of-yet Underspecified Demographic,──well, Jesus Christ, i do get subjected to a some↕what_semi-regular stream of Minor- to Moderate-level Annoyances, more times than i can be comfortable with over the course of Any Given Week; additionally, i genuinely-believe that if you yourselves had walked that Black Mile in My Shoes.. ..a good number of Yinz, in quite the short order, would find yourselves unable to muster the strength to be half as charitable as i, over the course of my life↕time, had somehow managed to be, to people. (although, yeah, i am getting really tired of being ran-over by people who think They can continue to chump me, with no immediate repercussions forthcoming.)

´just as a gay-american citizen [who is not willing to be an even-bigger bitch vis-à-vis going against his True Nature, wanting to feign Heterosexuality so badly that he'd marry some Chick], i can easily-find reason enough not to be happy, on an average day.

/digress

ya know ... i find it kinda ironic, how many people out there seem to prefer fancying Me as the bloake that lives to be a bad guy ─ a preconception which plays quite contrarily to Reality.

in referring specifically to those people who come across my Personal ADs, on-line: i'm sure that [these simple-minded fucks who are quick to judge] who look at the pictures i use There pro'ly say dumb-assèd_shit to themselves such as "he seems like an individual who's liable to commit some sort of Violent Crime against someone, just because the wind blew from SW, at 5-m.p.h., instead of NE, 9-m.p.h.", or, "he seems like he's never nice to anyone, and that he feels it'd be an actual detriment to his health if he were to be"; people who are actually around me, en personum, probably are not likey to concur with Those Sentiments, however: i strive to be at least a somewhat-decent Human Being ... and when i'm around people who I [have no beef with], i am normally Quiet, if not a goof↕ball, anyway; if the person needs me to be Serious for them, then i will be That.

:-).

if i'm around people i don't like ... i will almost always be taciturn. That is my preferred-Default Disposition, during such a situation. i can utilize one mean Cold Shoulder, or/and cop a "i really don't want to say anything to you about it but being in your presence just makes me fuckin' sick"-´tude, too, if i feel i must. overall, though, i don't like confrontations. i haven't even been in a real fight, to date; the last "scrap" i had was way back in like the 6th-fuckin'-grade.

for the most part, i haven't gotten m'self into shit i had nair business being in ─ especially-more-so as my Self↕Awareness increased with my years of life on this Shit Hole; in looking back, i could have done a lot of things differently, starting back when i was but a Wee Babe.. ..although, even with those Mis↕Steps i had made, i still would never have been considered an actual Problem Child. (´not even a Criminal Record, yet, for crying out loud.)

by no means, am i trying to paint myself as being a Model Citizen ... but, i know for a fact, there are many others, extant, who are worse than I; so, i guess what my gripe is.. ..is i am saddled with a unique set of Burdens, and i just don't know for what purpose Those are serving me.

have i been bestowed Them in-order-so i can be made Stronger, emotionally/psychologically?

i dunno.. ..i mean, apparently i am having a big enough problem with The Preconceived Notionspeople seem to have of me, that i feel i need to defend m'self against them and explain m'self to them; it's affecting me to such an extent that, whereby i should be asleep right now, so as i can be rested-up for Work ... i have elected to write away about This, instead.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

and, now, i am remembering the other part of the reason i am writing this:

for the ignorant fucks who look at me and then prejudgate against me.......

.......´those of you who conscientiously-pass me over for some other w'indiwidual who comes in a prettier-looking package, feigning Innocence: i do enjoy It, thoroughly, when said pretty-people turn around and do those exact things you were afraid i was gonna wreak on you; and, as is de riguer for that exact sort of Scenario, when They do/do it, they do It at least 30-times greater than i would ever conceived of executing.

case-in-point: frankly, you can leave me in your house all day long, and the only thing that would be missing is the food that i took to feed m'self ... since, y'know, it wouldn't be cool to allow me to get Hungry up in that muther↕fucker.

you can leave a pile of money sitting right on your counter-top and tell me that you will be going away for a few hours..

..and when you come back, not only will I still be there, but that pile of Loot would still be right where you left It, undisturbed ─ more than anything, i'd be too afraid to go anywhere near It, irregarding how tempting It looks.. ..for that precise fear You'd accuse me of having made an attempt to pocket some of It.

(i have been stolen from more than vice-the-versa.

and, yeah, i have lost a lot more than i, personally, had ever purloined.)

you can even allow me to handle Sensitive Information of yours──including social security, credit card, and bank account numbers──without having to worry about any anomalies going down with your Financial Shit, later: simply put, i have no interest in [screwing over] someone who doesn't deserve That; i pride myself on my overall-level of Integrity.

but ... how often do i have to be fearful about the security & fidelity of my own shit, if i deign trust That in the hands of other strangers ─ huh?

(´be needin' Eyes in th` back of m` fuckin' head, foolin' with them fuckers.)

yet ... when you hurt me like you do, and go for that person whom you believe is a better-seeming risk than I...

...without fail, you wind-up introducing into your lives the true Nut Cases.. ..They who engender Personal Qualities that are a lot-less endearing than my own [petty little quirks], almost every time. (i freely admit that i'm not a totally-pure person: i can't be, because i am a true fan of Comeuppance ... and, well, when provoked, i can be quite vindictive ..... but, it is rare when I, myself, take up my own avenging; rather, i'd look at the befalling of your own set of Unfortunate Circumstances as being the delivery of a somewhat-adequate measure of Retributive Justice.. ..although, yeah, i do be wishing you could know that, through the force of Karma, these bad things happened to you specifically because of your Malice`n´Spite ─ empowered with such knowledge, i'd presume you'd be less likely to try to put a damper on my day, in the future.) it is kinda sad, though. how things work out, like That. it's like they never learn... ...summarily dismissing me for someone whom they think will be a better-investment of time for them. just to wind up doubly-screwing themselves over.

(l.o.l.)

i mean, when Circumstances are proper, i tend to be much more of an asset than a liability .. but many people will never get to know That. which is fine by me, because i really don't feel like dealing with other people's shit anyway; i have enough of my own to try managing, i reck'n.

like, for example.. ..i have to go to sleep, with the following thought nagging me: i've said all this stuff to You, but, i still didn't have the ability to articulate what i really wanted to say about This.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

so, i had been wanting to try my hand at Making Soup for quite a while, now ─ put frankly, Mother had been fucking It up too often, for the past. . . . .too long, so, i felt It time to remind her of her History.

i don't know what It was, but, i'm guessing i just felt that it were to be [this past] Saturday Morning that i finally had to undertake such a mission; and, That's how it would go down, too.

incidentally, the [night] preceding That, i found that, yeah, i would have an actual Full Week of Work ahead, for me(♫-1); this meant i would need to acquire a Week-span Bus Pass.

something that can be a tad cheaper than spending one-sixty multiple times over a week ... in addition to enabling me access to giving give my legs a rest, since i'd also be given Incentive to use the ticket as often as possible, to maximize its Worth for me.

which is cool, but:

i would need to walk 1.2 miles to get to the nearest-known place for procuring that Pass;

i would have a few groceries accompanying me during that trip (which would turn out to be a burden of approximately 6 lbs. per hand);

i also had to make sure i would be able to catch that bus i wanted, so i could get back Home as soon as possible:

for one, i didn't want to keep The Perishables for the soup out longer than they needed to be, even though, i reck'n, the Outdoors Temperature was lower than the temperature at which these food↕stuffs were originally kept, at the store; for two ... i was just fuckin' tired/irritated, and knew i would pro'ly be tireder after The Walk;

to top all of That off.. ..by the time i had actually gotten to The Check↕Point, the bus had already been there for 2-minutes, and just a few-short minutes to away from departing;

and, it would eventually hit me, all those One Dollar Bills i had gotten back, in change, from the purchase [at The Pizza & Sub Place] i made that Night Previous would indeed be a Liability, and notAn Asset, on this particular morning;

i wanted to spend the least amount of money possible on Travel Fare ─ i did not want to just go ahead and spend the dollar-sixty on one bus to take me down to The Dispenser Terminal, and then spend another dollar-sixty for that other bus, home↕bound ── i am accustomed to doing The Walk, to conserve The Money ... i be needing The Ex-er-cise, besides(♫-2).

*phew!*

i'm tellin' ya.. ..it sorta sucked having to walk all of That Way, weighted down as i was... ...and i was pushing it, indeed, leaving work when i did: in trying to squeeze out every possible minute i could, in order to attain my Full Eight.

By Any Means Necessary.

but, i had A Mission to complete....and if i weren't able to board the 36, then, i coulda just kept walking down(♫-3) to try my luck with The 3.

but, basically, the 36 is like The Luxury Line, in that, usually, it runs like It's an express .. so, you can imagine why i would want That One.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

i rolled-up to the Operator to ask her what time it was; she told me it was 7:2[?] a.m.

i was debating whether or no i should just keep going, but ... she asked me if i wanted to use That Bus; i told her yeah, i do, but i also need to get a Weekly Bus Pass.

she told me to just get on.

?

i complied, but with Worry; i actually contemplated asking her if she could hold the bus for just long enough so i can run to the Ticket Machine,──when she had gotten to the street It was stationed at,──to buy what i wanted and hop back on(♫-4)..

(..strangely enough, when i myself looked at The Bus Clock, it appeared as if i could havejust made It, if i had kept going.....)

.....but she more or less forced away any Disquiet i might have had when she came back from using The Lavatory.

i guess she musta felt the urgency i was experiencing ... and maybe noted that, yeah, i had quite a few Groceries in hand; she seemingly also read my mind, in that she even told me i had been thinking about trying to make a run for what I wanted while she was en route ─ These had to be so, because she just went on ahead and slipped me an All Day Pass.

??

what That means is, i did not have to pay for that trip ... and i would not have to pay for any other trips that day.

_\↕/_ _\↕/_

so... ...i could just go on and get that other pass later in The Night, since i would be going to work again.

. . . . .

it had been such a long time since i was able to do This, but ... a bit after i got settled, i realized i could have saved myself quite a bit of drama by boarding [the 35] anyway and then procuring a Day Pass there, personally, since i would be leaving out of The House later that same day.

oh well.

it was really fuckin' nice, A Sister looking out for me like that ... because i really am not used to anyone doing anything that's actually helpful for me, at all ─ i used to having to Tough It Out, and what↕not.

so ... with a good bit of Exercise under my belt and three-fifty still in my pocket, the first part of My Adventure was now over.

(and, i only had to walk a little under a mile, with that slightly-heavy shit.)

(♫-1) (it's been many weeks since i had even broken ­32-hours ─ let alone even 40.)(♫-2) (it was some sort of Rhyming Combo, right? well, i'll give m'self +39 Style Points for it, in this instance.)(♫-3) (for an additional... ...512-feet?)(♫-4) (in figuring that, who was going to miss just a couple of minutes, in considering how fast That Bus normally completes its route, anyway?)

using these awesome tools below, you can easily define or synonymize those Big Words i keep using!

(w00t.)

Very Important!

before attempting to read my Blog, please click This to open the page (which will load in a new tab/window) that explains some of the things that go on around here; if you choose not to, i can promise that there will be a good chance you won't know what's going on and then get all confused by it, and then try to make me out to be the extra-crazy one as a result: which is not the goal I am aiming for, especially since i have made an effort to get you acclimated to my Unique Style in the first place.

so, trust me on this one and just follow those instructions i gave, okay?

shalom.

Help The Starving! Click On This Button!

(5:12 a.m.; 9/22/09)

there are certain Fonts that i use in my blog which i feel you should have on your own computer, so that you might experience my work as I'd intended; when i get rested up a bit more, i'll go and make the list.