Probably, from all the silence in the comment section, you ladies are disappointed with yesterday’s post, 2322 Likeability, Loyalty, Devotion, Love, and Conquest. It reduces female concepts of love and affection to logical and reasoned analysis. Not exactly your game.

It’s overload for gals. So, allow me to describe some lessons that can be learned from it.

A man’s love is basically friendship with these added attractions that are available only with the opposite sex.

The female ability to provide a pleasurably successful life; it’s her promise that he sees to justify his proposal of marriage. (Male friends can offer no such promise.)

The female willingness to believe in him as a person, believe in his sense of responsibility as a man, and believe in his achievements in various roles of life. Her beliefs motivate her, so if she doesn’t truly believe, she can’t be sincerely appreciative. If her beliefs about him are weak, she can strengthen them by acting as if she believes. Actions reshape emotions. (She can believe based on respect and trust, which male friends can’t because they are competitors.)

The female desire to intensify her man’s emotional involvement so he will more easily provide intimacy and in other ways confirm her sense of importance. Her behavior to intensify his emotions with special pleasures amplifies her gratitude and conveys her admiration. Example: Eager to respond to his invitations for sex. Eager to fix his favorite dish.

The female primal urge to depend on her man as very valuable for who he is and what he does. She thus confirms his sense of responsibility as correct, worthy, and significant.

The female expectation to make him a better man by improving on the one she chose to live with. For fear of associating with a loser, which signifies that she failed and is therefore unimportant, she has to improve him to prevent it.

The female drive to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. It energizes her to build and operate his castle, take infant- and child-care out of his hands, and provide a loving body to warm his bed.

The female need of a brighter future energizes her. It urges her to cooperate or collaborate with him in financial matters and future plans.

The female fear of abandonment inspires her. She protects herself by protecting him against his greatest fear. She sees to it that his sense of significance does not fade but, instead, is built up.

The female conviction that she is pretty. It pushes her to use her prettiness as foundation for making and keeping herself fixed up to please his eyes.

Men naturally have and keep deep emotional involvement with their responsibility, duty, job, and for whomever and whatever they feel responsible. Men first marry responsibility and then marry a woman. If not, he’s not dependable as a mate. Responsibility has first dibs on a man’s loyalty and his major role in life. As the primary seed, it brings forth his accomplishments.

Men enter a relationship first as a friend. Friendship grows in parallel with his developing sense of her promise for his future. When he witnesses her devotion being reciprocated and becomes convinced that she intends to be always faithful, he releases* himself to love her. His behavior shifts into auto pilot pleasing himself by pleasing her. It’s masculine love. *(Prior to releasing himself to love a woman, he’s cautious for fear of being made a fool or worse by being surprisingly dumped.)

Unfortunately, conquest can interrupt that relationship-building process and either interfere or stop development. You never know until it happens, but it depends on how intensely he has learned to respect her as person, woman, and regarding fulfillment of her various roles in life. Without huge respect, he’s soon gone.

Once he’s truly in love, the mixture of her promise as mate and sexual desire—if she’s unconquered by him—confirm that she’s worthy to become his responsibility. So, he proposes.

What he works for to earn self-admiration, he appreciates. What’s given to him he doesn’t appreciate as men expect to make do for themselves, until they find the right woman to help out. They just don’t appreciate what they don’t earn. It’s a primary reason that conquest too early comes across as unearned. Unfortunately for women, only God and the Shadow know what’s too early.

As I uncover more lessons to be learned, I will return to the subject.

How does he determine her loyalty to him if she is to not give exclusivity ? Her relationship history? Her dedication to other responsibilities in her life? Her loyalty to friends? Her faith? Her dedication to taking care of herself (self interest)?

I see women who prioritize boyfriend over children, boyfriend over their own self interest, revolve their life around his with time and even finances. To me that appears desperate not loyal. They do seem successful as far as keeping his attention and commitment. Do men see that a woman like this will not stray and therefore is less of a risk?

Your Highness Southern Belle,

Her Highness Tooconfused responded below with good and clear answers to your concerns.

At the end you ask, “Do men see that a [desperate] woman like this will not stray and therefore is less of a risk?” Perhaps. However, her desperation to him means she’s expendable. So he doesn’t concern himself with her loyalty.

There are several different kinds of men who settle for desperate women. My answers are only possible b/c I studied WWNH for years.

1. Men who plan to abuse their women emotionally or physically after marriage or after relationship gets serious.

2. Men who get comfortable with “Desperate women”. These men? They’ve got pride issues. They get comfortable with “available” and “easy” because with any other challenge there is a risk. Their false “pride” prohibits them from taking real risks and chasing the woman of their dreams. They, instead, settle for woman “most malleable”. For example, he says “jump”, she says “how high”. Man thinks this woman is most trustworthy. He assumes it is because she seems most willing. 20 years later the story may be very different. Remember ladies. Wanting to be chased is a feminine desire. If a man requires it, you’ve got a problem.

3. Men who can’t do any better. Some men have no other option or choice. They settle for what seems desperate and/or available because that is all they can get.

Men can gauge a woman’s loyalty: By how chaste she is throughout courtship, and other factors. Is she neat and clean? Responsible and on time? Is her room tidy on a consistent basis? During courtship, men hide their judgmental antennas so they can gain access to sex and conveniently so. They don’t want you to assume they are shrewdly judging you, for it may block access to their sexual needs. My warning to you ladies is to never make it easy for men. Look your best, block access to sex and never take more than 2 alcoholic drinks in his presence. Always protect yourself from revealing too much. Men will always be judging and watching you, but you can choose to behave like a queen.

To me masculine love does not seem that great. What does it say about me that I rather want to be the object of romantic love? I infer from other posts it can’t be complimentary.. I will take any answers to heart.

Your Highness Yin,

Sorry to disappoint but men are not born with romance in their hearts as are women.
Romance to a man is whatever it takes to bring on foreplay, period. All else is taught.

Women have one opportunity to teach each man according to her expectations. She has to do it before conquest by repeatedly requiring romantic initiatives from dates and boyfriends. Habits that men develop in order to conquer a woman stick with him if he stays with her. Don’t expect to develop a dedicated romance habit in a man, however, except over an extended courtship. When he gets to doing as you wish he would, don’t yield for another few months at least so the habit will become embedded for life.

Mothers can best start the process. Instead of constantly nurturing and hugging boys, make them initiate and watch mom languish under his attention, affectionate words, and hugs. Treat them as little men; that’s what they think they are.

Sorry for not remarking about last post… was very sleepy yesterday I apologize as you do need our input at times. sometimes i feel unworthy to post anything…

As far as the Shadow knows… anyone seen the movie version with Alec Balwin? IT is a favorite of mine!

as a fear fact men have… (not revealing themselves) funny, i have had more men (strangers) TALK to me about themselves at length. Not that I have ever minded….but perhaps with a woman they don’t know, it sets them free to talk more because then he would not ever have to see her again?

Your Highness Surfercajun,
I suggest it to be both your attractiveness plus listening quality more than their freedom to not see you again. You thus add immense pleasure to the masculine world. It reminds of one lady who said that femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world, and I concur.Guy

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Wives lose husbands, but it can be prevented. Bachelorettes lose boyfriends, but it can be foreseen. Mates lose likeability, but it can be reversed. So what if the pool of good men appears half empty? By learning the true nature of men AND WOMEN, the pool appears at least half full and much more appealing to female determination and flexible to feminine influence.