Sex addiction.

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Deleted Member

Deleted Member

Unsure which was the best forum for this really but I'm wondering if anyone here has seekd treatment for, is currently undergoing treatment for, or feels that they need treatment for sex addiction.

Of course it isn't quite as straight forward as just being addicted to sex.

"Relationship counselling service Relate describes sex addiction as any sexual activity that feels "out of control". This could be sex with a partner, but it can also mean activities such as pornography, masturbation, visiting prostitutes or using chat lines.

For most people, these habits don't cause them any problems. However, sex addicts are unable to control these urges and actions, despite the problems it may cause their relationships, finances and professional lives.

The Recovery Network says sex addiction "involves frequent self-destructive or high-risk activity that is not emotionally fulfilling, that one is ashamed of and that one is unable to stop, despite it causing repeated problems"

This quote was taken from the NHS choices page entitled 'Can you become addicted to sex'

I, for one, suffer from this addition. Without a single doubt it i know I have for a while and it just gets stronger.

I thought we might be able to have a discussion, share stories and tips and maybe point each other in the general direction of help.

with me, something happened in my life and I used sex stuff to get over it...now i am addicted, but i dont want a cure, lol

2

callipygian

callipygian

236 posts

Posted January 20, 2018

Hey ScarlettIsabella - interesting post

Having had much counselling in life regarding relationships / emotional intelligence and awareness - i am interested in the connection of the psychological and the physical. I also regard each persons experience as being unique and more chance based on prior experience and related to some other part of their life situation / emotional state of being.......

I have been addicted to sex since my teenage years, I can’t stop thinking about sex the more I get the more I want, I can literally go all day without stopping quick rest then start again,
I have always been embarrassed talking about this subject

1

Deleted Member

Deleted Member

4 posts

Posted January 20, 2018

For me I adore everything to do with it. I always have, as long as I can remember. I've always been curious about all things sex related and totally open and honest about it. It has nothing to do with emotional feelings for me more the fact I like doing something different, trying new things and having fun. Sex makes me switch off from all my worries and I just have fun. I like fetish parties, events, swingers clubs...I like having the event to look forward to, getting dressed up and then being confident and going out and being able to be who I really am with other like minded people without being judged.

I have had relationships, I've had one night stands,, booty calls, fuck buddies I've sex with strangers, with men with women, with older guys and younger guys, taken guys and married guys. I've had sex outdoors, in cars, at events, at parties. I have even tried various parts of the sex industry and I don't regret a single thing. I love it.

That brings me to my issue. I've since fallen in love, got married and had a baby but my passion has remained the same. I don't want to hurt my husband. I really love him, the sex is great, I love my life. I want to be a house wife with a husband and baby, I want more children and then I want to go back to teaching. There is nothing missing at all so I really thought I'd have grown up and this life would be my old life. I deleted all my website accounts and everything but 6 months later I'm back, I just miss it to much. It's like a craving. If I was single I'd love it, I wouldn't want to change but the fact I have this other life now kills me. I can't have both but I do feel like I have two separate sides to me. I have chosen my husband but I just don't know for how long. All I can think about is my craving for a woman and my need to go back to my favourite club.

ive done just about everything to find sex, I’ve had sex outdoors,been to a gangbang,been to clubs,had sex in my car,driven half the country to have sex,

i am now married and have a child but I have learnt to keep my sex side detached from my home life,I adore my wife but unfortunately it is a sexless marriage and I can not live without sex in my life

1

ExpertDom

ExpertDom

8 posts

Posted January 21, 2018

Bella, what you feel or experience is perfectly normal and healthy as a woman who is in touch with her sexuality and cravings and has a heightened sexual appetite. You shouldn't feel bad about it. As humans we are not supposed to be monogamous but polyamorous but for ages society has conditioned you and made you feel that getting married, having a husband and kids is the holy grail and be all end all of a woman's existence. But that is to serve the society. Not your basic instincts. Having a stable relation and a loving caring partner is fulfilling in it's own way but you are also a sexual being and you feel guilty because you don't feel yourself, fulfilled, feel something is missing, feel that ache deep within you but at the same way the social conditioning makes you feel guilty about having such cravings. You don't want to hurt your family life.
Sex addiction is when having sex or sexual thoughts have a negative effect on your life and well being as well as on the life of others. However I wouldn't term your cravings as addiction but rather you crave variety and you'll be best served in the long run to be with a partner who satisfies your cravings, who understands your needs and is open to letting him and you both explore everything there is to experience and explore. But you have to make a decision, which is never easy to be open about it with your partner and risk potentially losing him yet being yourself in the long run or stay put yet feel unfulfilled or if you get upto anything when the opportunity presents then you hide it and feel guilty about it.

1

Deleted Member

Deleted Member

4 posts

Posted January 21, 2018

Thank you for your comment. I agree with you until the last part. My husband knows how I feel and what I'm into and i am very open with him and we do have variety. It's not the case that we don't have sex or we don't have sex that I like. It's true, he isn't interested in the clubs but I'm not sure I'd want him to be. I like being able to go and not know anyone, I like being a stranger.

I think about sex all the time, I have sexual thoughts about friends and people I know, I used to chat on sex sites despite being taken, I'd even send photos to friends as well as strangers, i masturbate a lot, I like to masturbate even after sex, I adore porn. I have worked as an escort and a dominatrix and I'd choose a swingers club over a normal night out. I have cheated on partners because I love the inital chase, I have been with a woman since being with my husband (before the wedding and he knew) so I do think it brings sex into every day life for me. It's hard to separate it from myself, it's a part of me and I do think it's having a negative effect on my life. Or at least it would if he knew a few things...I'd be very single by now. It's like I can't stop even when I want to.

ExpertDom

ExpertDom

8 posts

Posted January 21, 2018

You first sentence and the ending are contradictory. But at least you are able to be open and explore to some extent if not fully.

I am pretty much the same, insatiable, i had sex with my sub last night and since she left I have masterbated 2 times already imagining and reading things. If I don't work probably I will be fucking all day till I can't anymore. And probably that's why I never married or committed. I keep it poly and am open with everyone about it. I don't chase. While clubs and activities do add variety, i enjoy things in public spaces or in privacy. Besides no woman has fully satisfied me...it's probably just me...as I take hours to cum and no one can suck me that long for me to fill her mouth with my cum. And I like it hard..erotic and sensual at times..but mostly rough..hard...till i hear screams. They turn me on...wake up the animal inside me.

Deleted Member

Deleted Member

49 posts

Posted February 23, 2018

i've been in recovery for a year, the last 6 months of that sober. i understand myself a lot better now i am not using sex to avoid my issues so it's been good for me in that sense. it's quite tough, mentally, at times because i am used to using sex to avoid things but am confronting them. it's been hard physically at times because...well i like sex.

SAA (sex addicts anonymous) can be helpful if you really want help with your addiction. love addicts will find SLAA (sex and love addicts anon) better for them. if there are none of these groups near you you will most likely be welcome at other addicts anon groups, like narc addicts or AA. they are a religious organisation but are fine with anyone supporting everyone and anyone and they do not push religion onto people (but they do pray at meetings). they expect what goes on in meetings to remain private obviously. they also have online support for anyone unable to get to meetings, and they do phone support too. none of this costs anything.