THE FIELD HAS REACHED THE STARTING GATE WITH FEW INCIDENTS OF DISRUPTION EXCEPT FOR THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN TRYING TOKEEP HIS MOUNT IN A STRAIGHT LINE BEHIND THE OTHERS

THIS MAY EVEN PROVE TO BE TROUBLE ON THE TRACK!ALTHOUGH HORSES BEING A HERD SPECIES GENERALLY FOLLOW OTHERS

EVERYONE IS IN THEIR GATE EXCEPT FOR JESSE JAMES WHO HASHAD HIS SIDEARMS TAKEN AWAY AND BEING FURIOUS ABOUT THIS IS BEING A VERY NAUGHTY BOY

THE STEWARDS HAVE EXPLAINED TO HIM THE DANGER INVOLVEDIN RUNNING WITH LOADED GUNS AND TO PREVENT ACCIDENTS ORHARM TO ANYONE THIS WAS A NECESSARY PRECAUTION

NOW HE HAS ACCEPTED THAT EXPLANATION, THO BEGRUDGINGLYAND HAS ENTERED THE GATE

WE NOW TURN YOU OVER TO OUR GUEST TRACK ANNOUNCER: COUNT DRACULA

"THANK YOU FOR THE DARK SUNGLASSES THIS SUNLIGHT IS KILLING ME -- HA HA HA ...... AS IF... "

AND..... THEY'RE OFF IN THE SUPURRR SPOOKTACULAR STAKES

TAKING A SHORT LEAD IS PRINCESS FIONA FOLLOWED CLOSELYBY A TRIO OF MR MET --- YOSEMITE SAM --- + THE PINK PANTHER

IT'S MANY LENGTHS BACK TO THE REST OF THE FIELD NONE OF WHOM SEEM TO BE IN A HURRY YET...

OUT OF THE TURN THEY COME AS PRINCESS FIONA HAS TAKEN COMMAND OF THE RACE WITH A HUGE LEAD

IT IS GONNA TAKE PEGASUS TO TRY AND CATCH HER BUT NONE WEREENTERED TODAY AS THE TRACK SUPERINTENDENT DECLARED IT UNFAIR

THE RACE IS FOR RUNNING --- NOT FLYING!

THE PINK PANTHER IS GOBBLING UP GROUND WITH INCREDIBLE SPEEDAND NOW HAS MOVED WITHIN 3 LENGTHS OF PRINCESS FIONA WHO ISSHOWING NO SIGNS OF TIRING AS HER INNER OGRE HAS TAKEN COMMAND

KHALEESI NOW HAS SUDDENLY MADE A BOLD MOVE AS HER DRAGON ESSENCE HAS FIRED HER UP WITH INCENTIVE TO RUN FASTER

IT'S A VERY LONG WAY BACK TO YOSEMITE SAM AND BASTWHO SEEM TO BE HAVING A DISCUSSION ABOUT SOMETHINGTHO WE MAY NEVER KNOW WHAT?

EARLIER, IN THE PADDOCK, BAST THE EGYPTIAN CAT GODDESS WASOVERHEARD MUTTERING SOMETHING ABOUT THE PHAROAHBUT WE COULD NOT HEAR ENOUGH TO UNDERSTANDSO PERHAPS THAT IS WHAT SHE WAS SHARING WITH YOSEMITE SAMWHO SEEMED BORED + UNINTERESTED IN THE TOPIC

THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN IS ALL OVER THE TRACK AS HIS STEEDSEEMS TO BE HAVING AN ISSUE WITH WHAT HE SEES AROUND HIMAND THE FEAR ALONE IS CAUSING VERY ERRATIC BEHAVIOUR ...LEAVING THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN IN THE DARK .......... AS USUAL

IT'S ANOTHER FEW LENGTHS BACK TO THE WITCH WHO SEEMS TO BE TRYING TO WORK A MAGICK SPELL ON JONNY QUEST TO GET HIM TO SLOW DOWN ---- SO FAR IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING

BEHIND THE WITCH + JONNY QUEST IS MR MET WHO SOMEHOWMANAGED TO DROP HIS BALLS AND HAS BEGUN TO WANDER ALLOVER TRYING TO RETRIEVE THEM -- LOSING FOCUS ON RUNNING!

AND WAY FAR BACK IS JESSE JAMES WHO BEGAN THE RACE VERYDISGRUNTLED OVER HAVING HIS GUNS TAKEN AWAY THAT HISFUMING + FUSSING HAS CAUSED HIM TO "COP" AN ATTITUDELEAVING HIM FAR BEHIND THE REST OF THE RUNNERS

AND DOWN THE STRETCH HERE THEY COME...

PRINCESS FIONA WITH A MONSTER LEAD (NO OFFENSE INTENDED)SUDDENLY CAUGHT SIGHT OF SHREK IN THE STANDS WAVING HER ON

THIS INCITED A SURGE OF POWER THAT WAS SO HUGE.... HER OGRE WITHIN ALMOST EMERGED ---- BUT WAS RESTRAINED BY HER INTENSE WILL TO WIN

THE PINK PANTHER INSTEAD OF BEING SNEAKY + STEALTHY TODAYDECIDED TO RUN LIKE THE PANTHER SHOULD --- FAST!

MEANWHILE BEHIND THE FRONT RUNNING DUO

--- KHALEESI AND YOSEMITE SAM STILL ENGAGED IN BUMPING + QUARRELINGARE NOT GAINING MUCH GROUND ON THE LEADERS

BAST WAS ALMOST KNOCKED SIDEWAYS INTO TOMORROW LAND BYTHE HEADLESS HORSEMAN WHO HAS NO CLUE WHERE HE IS ....

THE WITCH HAS BEGUILED JONNY QUEST WHO SEEMS TO BE ENAMORED BY HER --- ALMOST MESMERIZED INTO SNAIL MODE --- STAYING RIGHTALONG SIDE OF HER ... INSTEAD OF MOVING AHEAD

AND WAY FAR BACK... POOR SAD MR MET STILL TRYING TO FIND HIS LOST BALLSHAS NOT GAINED ANY GROUND NOR SHOWING ANY SIGN OF RUNNING

JESSE JAMES SO FAR BACK HE MIGHT BE LOOKING FOR THE OK CORRALINSTEAD OF THE FINISH LINE!

AS THE WIRE LOOMS JUST AHEAD ---

PRINCESS FIONA WITH YET ANOTHER POWER SURGE HAS LEFT THEREST IN HER MIGHTY WAKE ... LEAVING NO DOUBT AT ALL THATTHE PINK PANTHER'S FANCY DANCE SPEED ATTEMPT WILL HAVE NOEFFECT ON THE OUTCOME

THE PINK PANTHER WITH ALL GUSTO / ATTITUDE AND SPEED WILLFINISH 2nd WITH KHALEESI TRYING TO KEEP HER DRAGONSIN CHECK, WILL OWN THE SHOW SPOT

$$-OFFICIAL ORDER OF FINISH-$$ AFTER ALL OBJECTIONS WERE DENIEDAND YES THERE WERE SO MANY THAT THE STEWARDS WERE LAST SEENRUNNING IN FEAR OF THEIR LIVES INTO A HIDDEN SANCTUARY PREPARED FOR JUST SUCH AN INCIDENT

1st ~ PRINCESS FIONA ========= $168.50WITH A DYNAMIC VICTORY CAUSING SHREK TO DASH OUT ONTO THE FIELD TO SCOOP UP HIS LOVE ..SCARING SOME WHO WERE STANDING IN THE WINNER'S CIRCLE~WINNER / BELLE OF THE BC BALL~

2nd ~ THE PINK PANTHER ========== $69.00 A VALIANT EFFORT OF FELINE FRENZY BASED SPEED BUT NOT ENOUGH TO EVEN GET CLOSE TO THE WINNER

3rd ~ KHALEESI =================== $51.70HER STRUGGLE WITH HER DRAGONS TRYING TO ESCAPE MIGHT BEWHAT CAUSED HER TO NOT RUN AS FAST AS SHE MIGHT HAVE

4th ~ YOSEMITE SAM =============== $5O.70ALMOST CAUGHT KHALEESI TILL HE SAW WHAT LOOKED LIKE A PIECEOF DRAGON WING STICKING OUT OF HER CLOTHING....WHICH IN HIS MIND WAS ENOUGH REASON TO KEEP HIS DISTANCE THO NOT MUCH

***ALSO RAN***

BAST ====================== $46.00COULD STILL BE HEARD MUTTERING SOMETHING ABOUT THE PHAROAHBUT IN GODDESS-SPEAK .... SO NOBODY CAN QUITE UNDERSTAND HER

THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN ======== $42.60THE SOURCE OF MANY OBJECTIONS AND VALID AS WELLBUT DISCOUNTED BY THE STEWARDSTHE HORSE KNEW WHERE TO RUN BUT SADLY HIS JOCKEY DID NOT

THE WITCH ======-========== $33.40EXHAUSTED SO MUCH ENERGY ON HER SPELLS THAT SHE EVENCAUSED HER CAT TO FLY OFF THE BROOM AND RUN ON HIS OWN!

JONNY QUEST ============== $32.80BECAME SO MESMERIZED BY THE WITCH'S SPELL THATHE LOST TOTAL FOCUS ON RUNNING AND REMAINED CONTENTEDTO JUST TAG ALONG BESIDE HER BROOM

MR MET ================= $27.40WAS SO PRE-OCCUPIED FROM THE STARTTHEN LOSING HIS BALLS AT THE HALFWAY MARKEXERTED MORE EFFORT IN FINDING THEM THAN RUNNING

JESSE JAMES ============ $0 TRIED TO ROB A BANK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RACEBUT NEVER NOTICED THE BIG RED CROSS OVER THE ENTRANCE!

YES FOLKS ....... JESSE JAMES TRIED TO ROB A BLOOD BANK(WHERE MANY OF MY RELATIVES VISIT TO MAKE A VALID WITHDRAWAL)

THO THE BLOOD BANK FELT SOME SYMPATHY FOR POOR JESSE ~(ALONG WITH HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER) THEY GAVE HIM A -GOLDEN GOOSE EGG- FOR ALL HIS EFFORTS

WE NOW BID YOU ALL A GOOD EVENING FROM KEENELAND RACE TRACK

MY EYES ARE KILLING ME FROM THE SUNLIGHT PLUS MY RESTRAINTTO KEEP MY TEETH FIRMLY PLANTED IN MY MOUTH AND NOT A NECK NOW WELCOMES THE APPROACHING DUSK AND SHADOW WITH RELIEF

I NOW WILL HEAD BACK TO MY BELOVED TRANSYLVANIA FOR SOME MUCH NEEDED "RED WINE" DELIGHT