Okay, now that you're done with lunch it's time to gross you out. A UK newspaper reminds us that cellphones are just downright disgusting, and are even dirtier than toilets. That's because they're exposed to much more bodily bacteria than any toilet seat. A combination of being near your mouth with all that spit and stuff, and those cellphone electronics keeping the bacteria warm all day turns that handset into a teeming metropolis of creepy-crawley microbes, including such delectables as Staphylococcus aureus, the bacteria responsible for pimples, boils, pneumonia and meningitis.

Just keep in mind that there are literally billions of bacteria, virii, and other various insects and arachnids crawling all over your body right now. Reminds us of the Penn & Teller Bullshit episode where they took bacterial cultures from people's faces, hands and butts, and guess which was cleaner?

If you guessed butts, you're right, they were cleaner than faces and especially hands, the most bacteria-laden part of the body. Now forget all you just read and go on about your business. Have a nice day. – Charlie White