Shiny hair. Creamy complexion. Good job, lots of friends, perfect boyfriend. Full chest, flat tummy, perky tush, and long limbs… Some days, when I look in the mirror, all of these societal ideals act as nothing more than an opportunity for me to beat up on myself for my imperfections. Some days, even I – a Registered Dietitian who has made it her mission to help people everywhere love and embrace their bodies – have days where that is just plain challenging. Some days I believe that I am so special, that I should transcend human capabilities, and actually be perfect.When I find myself in moments like this, it’s apparent to me that there are a few points I’ve forgotten. First, entirely contrary to popular belief, perfection is truly not an option. Not ever. Perfection is not a human characteristic. And this is something many of us forget all the time. If someone told you: “I can’t love you. Not until you sprout wings and fly,” you could laugh at them… right? Well, I feel like expecting perfection from ourselves, and refusing to practice self-love until this ideal is reached, is really no different. Just like flying, perfection is just not something that is possible for us humans.The second thing I so often forget, that is so important to remember, is how much other people might need my imperfections. In a recent bout with perfectionism, I found that I was trying desperately to hold it all together. I would meet with friends, and listen to what was going on with them, hearing their problems, and offering support. But I refused to open up about what was going on with me. Finally, one day, I realized I couldn’t handle this on my own, and I opened up. A friend I chose to open up to reminded me, in words plain and simple: “No one benefits from you pretending you’re perfect.” It struck me on a profound level how right she was. I mean, I clearly was not benefiting, as the internal struggle was getting worse by the moment. And no one around me was benefiting, because I was robbing people of the opportunity to relate to me. As I once heard it put, we cannot connect to Teflon. People need edges. We need grit to grip on to, otherwise we slide away. I reflected back to all the conversations I’d had in the weeks preceding. It was totally true! When I speak to people who aren’t letting me in, it’s hard to connect. But when I get real with someone, and talk about what is truly going on, we reach a beautiful level of intimacy that is scary, but also so warm and loving.Perfectionism is a daily struggle for me and many woman (and men) like me. In being a little bit more honest about my struggle, I’ve found that I can connect to more people, and actually help people more too. Have you struggled with perfectionism? What else might you be struggling with that you’re keeping to yourself? Share it here, and be of service to someone who might be dying to relate.

Lose weight. Work out more. Eat less junk food. Run faster.The New Years Resolution has been a tradition since what feels like the beginning of modern times. Year after year, I hear family, friends, coworkers, and clients setting lofty goals, only to be disappointed in themselves when they don’t reach the unattainable. This year, I think I will take a new approach to resolutions:#1. Be kinder.… That’s it. If you’re anything like me, you may struggle with being kind to yourself, which I’ve learned makes it harder to be kind to others. With the new year upon us, this is prime time to go into self-improvement mode. I don’t knock self-improvement, by any means – I’m all for insight and growth! But it is easy to cross the line into self-abuse territory. Think about treating yourself like you would someone you love. What does being kind look like when you practice it on someone else? Maybe being kind means not overeating, because it will put you in discomfort. Maybe being kind means eating a few too many cookies, and forgiving yourself for it, because you really enjoyed them. Maybe being kind means allowing time for a walk outside a few times a week. Maybe it means signing up for sessions with a personal trainer. Maybe it means incorporating more rest days into your week. Maybe it just means you’ll continue all your healthy habits that you’ve begun practicing over the past year, and will try a little harder to let go of judgment around your own imperfections (which, as much as I hate to admit it… we all have).Let’s wave goodbye to this year, and start out 2015 on a really loving note. Tell yourself something nice today. Try to repeat that behavior tomorrow. Then again the next day. You may be amazed at the difference you’ll see by this time next year.Warm wishes to you in the New Year. Remember to be kind to yourself.

The New Years Resolution. This age-old tradition repeats yearly, and now seems to flood our social media feeds throughout the weeks surrounding our celebrations. Over the last few weeks I have heard resolutions from friends, coworkers, and clients, all hoping to drastically change their bodies by cutting out whatever food group is being demonized this month, or by vowing to miraculously up their weekly gym trips from 0 to 12.The start of a new year is a great opportunity to begin practicing new healthy habits, and I would encourage all of you to think about how to best serve yourselves and do your bodies well in 2015. But what is the secret to making resolutions stick? You just need to be SMART.Ok, I know, you’re totally intelligent. But that’s not what I meant. SMART is an acronym that will help you set goals for the upcoming year that are ACTUALLY achievable and lasting.SMART stands for:SpecificMeasurableAttainableRelevantTime BoundFor example, you look to the New Year and think “I will lose weight and get fit this year”. Now, ask yourself – is this specific? Can you truly measure this? How much weight will you lose? How will you know if you are “fit”? And when will you reach this goal?See how this may be difficult to achieve, or to even know if you have achieved it?Instead, a SMART goal might say “I will lose 1 lb per week for the next month,” after which you can re-evaluate, and continue from there. Or, your goals can be more behavior based. Maybe you want to increase your fruit and vegetable intake this year. Think about how much you consume now. Is it 1 serving a day? Sure, it would be great for us to all eat 5 servings per day, but be realistic. Up it to 2 servings per day. Once that is manageable, increase to 3, and so on. Before you know it, you’ll be seeing glowing skin and feeling balanced due to your small changes that add up to big results.So, what SMART goal will best serve you in the New Year?

Hopefully over the past few weeks, your weekends were filled with warmth, love, and… food, of course. Many people have been asking me how to control themselves around the plethora of calorie-laden Thanksgiving meal, and ensuing holiday party options, seeming to be kicking themselves well before any havoc-wreaking decisions had even been made. This got me thinking… Is there anything we can truly eat in one day to undo an entire year of treating our bodies right?

After much deliberation, I decided the answer is no. There may be gray area here, and other nutrition and health professionals may disagree. But this dietitian’s theory is one of self-love, by any means necessary. The facts can be scary. Many are hearing numbers like 3000-5000 calories in the typical Thanksgiving MEAL (not even the whole day). I know for the calorie counting mavens reading this, such stats are bone-chilling. But how about the fact that if you do your best 95% of the time, the other 5% will NOT be detrimental. If you think about how many days there are in a year, and how many meals we eat each day, this ONE meal out of the 1,095 we consume annually, only accounts for 0.09% of your consumption. So, you overdid it a little bit. Congratulations – you’ve got more than 99.9% this year. You still have an A! This isn’t to say that we should take all we know about healthy eating and sound lifestyle choices, and throw them out the window. Tips I’ve given to clients this week have included:

- Modeling your dinner plate after MyPlate- Fill up on veggies- Be sure to eat breakfast that morning so you aren’t ravenous by feast time- Grab some coffee or tea once you know you’ve had your fill – sipping on that may prevent you from going overboard- Go for a walk after dinner I encourage you all to utilize these tips whenever you are in a situation that may tempt you back into old behaviors. However, remember to treat yourself with compassion, and don’t forget that overdoing it from time to time is a part of normal eating.

If you were asked if you were a “normal eater,” what would that mean to you? Could you answer yes? Would you say no? Could you respond at all? This may seem a direct and simple question, but the answer may not be so obvious. Many meal plans out there seem to assert that perfection is the only way to a healthy lifestyle and your ideal body. But perfection, as it pains many of us to admit, is never truly an option. Ellyn Satter, a well-known Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, defines normal eating beautifully. To paraphrase and summarize, her definition can be interpreted to mean that normal eating is a combination of listening to your body’s cues, and allowing your intuition to drive you. Normal eating is recognizing what the signals mean, but recognizing how well you listen to them does not directly correlate to your worth as a human being. To quote Ms. Satter, normal eating is “leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful.” In our culture, we receive mixed messages surrounding food constantly. But I maintain that food is to be enjoyed – and how lucky we are that it can also do miraculous things for our bodies. It is true that for optimal health it is wise to exercise portion control, and consume mostly nutrient dense foods. And it is true that overindulging in certain foods may lead to health complications. But we cannot expect perfection from ourselves. I often ask clients – “Why are your health goals important to you?”. Frequently, the response is something along the lines of wanting quality of life. If your health goals are important to you because you want to enjoy life thoroughly, it is nonsensical to make yourself crazy with highly restrictive diets in the hopes of becoming a “normal eater”. As it turns out, a part of normal eating is eating what sounds good sometimes, even if it doesn’t seem to align perfectly with your goals. If your goal is to be happy and healthy, you are on the right track. *For the full answer to “What Is Normal Eating” by Ellyn Satter, visit http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/hte/whatisnormaleating.php

Television, books, Facebook, Instagram, kids screaming, boss yelling… These are just a few of the many distractions we face on a daily basis when attempting to remain mindful. And as it turns out, these distractions work against us in more ways than just reducing our productivity. Studies have shown that increasing mindfulness through intentional mindful eating, and/or a meditation practice, can significantly improve physical health and quality of life. In one study, episodes of binge eating were decreased from an average of greater than 4 times per week, to less than 1.5 times per week. Additionally, in this same study, participants who had been diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder (BED) no longer met diagnostic criteria for the disorder after implementing a mindfulness practice. Many more studies support that there is a correlation between mindfulness and healthy living. Now that you have been convinced, you are likely wondering where to begin your mindfulness practice. Well, here is a quick crash course that will help you get started…

General Tips Mindful eating suggests that you implement the following: 1.Eat when you are hungry. It may take a while to learn the way your individual body communicates to you, but do your best. It will get easier – the messages will become clearer. Do your best to avoid eating out of boredom, stress, discomfort, sadness, celebration – anything other than true physiological hunger. If you are struggling with hearing your body’s requests for fuel, expect to require nourishment every 3 to 5 hours. 2.Eat until you are satisfied… not until your gut begs you for mercy. This means not necessarily eating until your plate is empty. Conversely, sometimes you may have planned to eat only a certain amount of food, and it might turn out to not be enough. So pay attention to your body’s signals, and eat until your body tells you it’s satisfied. 3.Avoid multitasking during meals. Set aside a time when you will eat (including both meals and snacks), and turn off other distractions. Common distractions include watching television, reading, working, listening to the radio/podcasts, and many others. Think of the time you allocate to eating as time for only that, and stick to your schedule the best you can.Step by Step Now you are ready to try out this mindful eating thing! Grab yourself something tasty, sit down, and begin as follows…1.Prepare your meal. Food should be arranged in front of you. You should sit down at a table. 2.Turn offas many distractions as possible. Shut the TV or radio. Put down the book or magazine. Shut down the computer for a few minutes. Allow yourself to be fully present with your food 3.Ground yourself. Put both feet on the ground. Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. You may want to repeat a mantra to yourself, reminding you to stay present, and not let the past or future into this time between you and your body. 4.Allow all your senses to experience this moment. Look at your food. Identify the colors and shapes on your plate in front of you. Smell your food. Is it a familiar smell? Take your first bite, and savor it. Take the time to chew your food, and notice the mouth feel and flavors of this particular item. 5.Go slowly. Throughout your meal, try to take your time. It may be helpful to set a timer, and pace yourself. You might allow 15 to 20 minutes to complete your meal. Taking sips of water between bites also often helps slow us down. And there you go! If you are brand new to mindful eating, try this out for one meal a day, and increase gradually. If during your meal, you find yourself becoming distracted, don’t be discouraged. Mindful eating takes time to master, and you will get there if you practice it on a daily basis. If you find external thoughts creeping in during the meal, envision yourself in a bubble. The bubble doesn’t allow anything in that doesn’t have to do with the here and now. Let the bubble protect you as it serves as a shield against distraction. Do you have experience with mindful eating? We would love to hear about it! Please leave questions and comments below!

“Strong is the new skinny” - a phrase that’s been floating around social media sites, on which women of all ages seem to be posting the latest additive-free, all-natural recipes, along with killer muscle-building workouts. Typically, when I’ve seen this motivational axiom it’s been meant in a positive way—in a sense saying “we don’t want to starve ourselves, we want to be strong and healthy!” Great. It’s fantastic to see a trend that helps those who follow it. However, the question has come to my mind: is this a positive thing? Even if muscle-building, and sticking to natural foods, and moving away from the age-old trap that is calorie counting, are all physically good for us, I wonder if we haven’t just replaced one obsession with another. Now, instead of counting each miniscule piece of food we’re eating, and fixating on who had the least amount of calories today, we’re all about who can go as natural as possible. Are today’s raw vegans or Paleo junkies simply the updated version of yesterday’s restrictors? Although today’s fad dieters may be receiving more adequate nutrition than the Grapefruit Diet’s followers, there still may be danger in the mindset. Even if the goal has changed from clocking in calories at an unattainable low, there is still room for stress, obsession, and an unhealthy relationship with the good stuff that fuels us. Now the obsession lies in compulsively checking ingredients labels, ruling out entire food groups, and often replacing arguably unhealthy habits (i.e. consuming refined sugars or dairy) with equally or more harmful habits in abundance (i.e. consuming high fat items because they are lower in carbs). Building a positive relationship with your food is by no means easy. Many people living in our society battle food in one way or another. But the secret will never lie in ruling out a food group, consuming excessive amounts of protein, or a juice cleanse. Fad diets can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food, and adverse effects on our body chemistry and physiology. Wondering if your recent lifestyle choices constitute a fad diet? Ask yourself the following questions: 1. Are all food groups represented? 2. Does the program/diet ask you to purchase specialty foods, products, or supplements? Does the program seem especially costly? 3. Can this diet be maintained long term? 4. Does this diet promote unreasonably quick weight loss? After asking these questions, judge for yourself – does your new lifestyle choice fall into the fad category? Or is it a well-balanced, realistic lifestyle that can be maintained for the long haul? The secret to a positive relationship with food lies within you. The next time you want to embark on a new diet journey, put it through this fad diet test, and make the decision that is right for you.