Hey Cancer!

Last month, yet someone else I know passed away after a very long and courageous battle against cancer. It happens that I also came across a piece in the Huffington Post about how The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, Iowa Filmmakers created a video spinning their own take on the fight against cancer. The short spot is full of profanity, but it was the first time I really heard it said the way it sometimes needs to be said. In my opinion, it is quite all right at times to tell cancer to go…(insert profanity). That said, if you do get offended, there is also an edited version, which you can see here. The original and unedited version can be found here.

Fortunately, I have never suffered through cancer, but so many people around me through years and years have fought the good fight. The lucky ones have made it through, but not without the Big C exacting a high price: surgeries, endless radiation and chemo, mastectomies, loss of hair, appetite, energy, strength, etc. And, of course, others I have known (including in my family) have lost their lives to this disease.

I am sure that if you are reading this, you have probably been affected in some way or know someone who has survived or died of cancer. Really, can you think of anyone who has not somehow been affected?

Cancer survivors are a special breed, as are others who are in their own battles. When I have known someone well, I have had the honor of sharing in stories of great hope and determination. Their words are often the same: fight, will win, will beat it, scared, it will be ok, being present, one day at a time, etc. And then you see the great courage, grace, wit, determination, power and grit that comes from these people as they battle with a fearsome enemy.

What I have barely heard – and only very privately – has been that moment when someone says, “(Insert profanity) cancer”. And, when I saw this little video, I realized how important it is to allow people to say that about cancer. But, it is also important to create the safe space for people to say, “(Insert profanity) Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, HIV/AIDS, the brain tumor, the heart attack” or anything that befalls us without our having asked for it necessarily and we have to fight.

I am not advocating we go out there and lace our everyday conversations with profanity. But, there are those moments when enough is enough. There are those moments in the darkness of the moment where we have all put on the game face and fought so hard to make it through the week, the day, the hour, the minute and we are simply worn out. It is at that point, I think, that it is probably fine to tell cancer or whatever else ails you to take a hike and....

And, if we are friends or loved ones of people going through a disease or a seriously tough time, or actually going through it ourselves, it’s ok sometimes to put down the tough talk, inspiration and motivation and simply acknowledge that it sucks and it is not fair. In that moment when the façade has fallen to the floor and all you have in front of you or in the mirror is a frail human being, there is something to be said for allowing someone or yourself to simply state the truth. You hate cancer. You hate mental illness. You hate substance addiction. You hate Alzheimer’s. You hate the loss of a job. You hate HIV/AIDS. You hate Parkinsons. You hate the loss of a limb. You just hate it.

Then allow the space to tell it where to go.

There is strength in the perceived weakness of a profanity. Sometimes, it is not weakness to be brutally honest about something.

Finally, stand up alone or with the help of another. Dust off. Keep walking. And, that alone will make you win.

Please Don’t Forget to Follow My Blog at Living For Purpose™ and like my Facebook Page.

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