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Saturday, April 16, 2011

[RPG] Self-Expression

Sorry I'm late- yesterday was TheDude's birthday and I spent the day spoiling him rotten.
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For me, self-expression is the ultimate reason I play RPG’s. The free-flowing stream of ideas, concepts, and strategies really get my creative juices flowing. I love that the potential for drama, hubris, loyalty and humor are exponential. Working in tandem with other like-minded geeks to cause imaginary lives, choices, consequences and resolutions is only part of the joy for me. It’s the spark of myself that gets pushed, imbued, and transformed into those conceptualized worlds, combined with my special brand of expression that lights me right up.

Everyone has their own special “brand” of expression. Several of my friends are artists, and their character s do not come to life until they’ve made a sketch or drawing. Some paint miniatures to convey their creative spark, while others are truly gifted actors and simply “living” as their characters in game is their mien. I’ve got a friend who draws maps, and has for a long time; well before geomorphing was cool.

The cool thing is that self expression is so personal. Each and every one of us that plays or runs games has a different way of bringing our creativity, ingenuity and representation into our game worlds and characters. I truly admire my friends and their talents and ways of bringing their ideas across. I adore checking out the drawings, the miniatures, the maps and watching those immersive players. It’s a fun kick to see what others use; their enjoyment is pleasure for me.

My personal expression is through words. I love playing with them, their meanings, their syntax, and their variations. I truly enjoy finding new ways to say something and love searching the depths of nuance and inference.

I’ve discovered that I am a much better writer than a roleplayer, in comparison. I contrast my sessions as Eile to my write-ups or my Hedge Tales and see a drastic and dynamic difference between them. I’ve accepted the chasm, but I strive to utilize language more effectively while playing so that I can grow and improve in game.

Language is my source and field of expression in life as well. If you don’t believe that “Loquacious” fits me, you have not spent a lot of time around me. I love to talk. I like to talk to dang near anyone. I enjoy the art of conversation, learning about people, and sharing myself with them. I adore a good jaw, and have been known to sit down just to explore words with someone.

There are plenty of times when words are my shield. There are also numerous times when words are my foundry, forging my emotions as I work through my vocabulary. I have found more than once that I’m not exactly sure how something makes me feel; but through talking and expressing myself in language, I find names for whatever’s on my mind.

Taking that away from me limits my self-expression, and generally frustrates me. While I know I talk a lot, and often don’t say things directly, that’s who I am. If you don’t like it, or want to curtail it in some way, it’s probably going to cause some sort of issue.

I don’t infringe on others’ expression, and I can’t say that having mine refrained is something I relish. I mean, self-expression is the ultimate reason I play RPG’s, and it’s a core component of my personality.

I'd love to hear about yours, and how you find your true self in the game.

As for self-expression in character, like you my favorite little sociopathic adept in Dark Heresy is acted out as much (if not more) in words as he is in game. I send in daily reports to our inquisitorial handlers (otherwise known as a weekly email to the party after which chaos [again by email] tends to ensue).

The reports started out as kindova travelogue, and then the 'Imperial Propaganda Machine' kicked into high gear in order to manipulate the actual recounting of events so that Boris (me) was either the hero or victim, while the remainder of the party & especially our team leader (generally referred to as 'that accursed woman') are at fault.

To date the 'collected works' of the backstabbing, manipulative, increasingly paranoid and now self described 'Living Saint Boris Sevastopol' total up to something like 30+ pages and half a dozen or more forged documents.

'Upon my death, I shall transcend the mortal plain and arrive at the Emperor's side. So that he may heed my advice as I guide him through the dark times to come, These words will be published & spread through out the Imperium so as to inspire the ignorant masses with my glory...'

I do a few things to help me get into my characters mind. I fill out a character survey, a list of questions that a friend came up with many years ago to help "flesh out" PCs. Things like: Favortie sport, favorite shoes, do you cook (or eat out). That sort of stuff. I also look for a picture, drawing, or paint a miniature of my character.

The last but not least thing I do is to write a background for my character. For my WOD character I ended up writing several 1-2 page stories about my character that when taken together shows where he came from and what kind of person he is.

Something that I really started doing with my Dark Heresy character and have continued with WoD is the back story. It helps me get more into character. Of course I also have mini's and sketch's of different characters, my current one takes inspiration from this guy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Anderson_%28Hellsing%29 with out the psyco nature.