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Coming to terms with the outcome was a difficult challenge, but I felt fairly confident that I would be okay. I called my professors, leaders and friends in Hawaii to explain my situation; they were extremely shocked but more importantly supportive. I called my boyfriend and he immediately came to Utah.

The doctor visits began and the surgery was scheduled. It was not until I met with my oncologist Dr. Wendy Breyer that I realized the extreme consequences of a one centimeter tumor that is rapidly dividing in my body. It was Christmas Eve and I had planned an exciting and cultured day for my boyfriend and me. We went to Dr. Breyer’s office completely unprepared for the news she would share. My mom and I sat in her office while my boyfriend sat in the waiting room. She was firm and direct and basically told me because of my age I would have strong chemotherapy and I would do all the treatments possible. I felt okay about that, until she handed me the Kleenex box and explained that I would lose my long flowing hair and I may never be able to have children. I cried hard for some time. I gathered myself and we walked out to the car.

On our way home, my boyfriend asked me what she had said. I couldn’t get a word out the tears began flowing down my cheeks. I then recounted what she had said. I was crying so hard I was shaking I turned to see his response and I saw the tears swelling in this eyes I became very scared. Scared of losing him, scared f death and scared of change.

That night we went to see the Nutcracker. What a nightmare! We sat in silence watching these people dance around on a stage and all we could hear in our heads was CANCER! Celebrating was the last thing we felt like doing that night.

I told him that I had no expectation of him, that he could walk away at any time and I would understand. He said nothing, but that night he left me a note in my room. It said that he knew that everything was going to be okay and that we would both fight through this trial the Lord had given us.

He became the rock I relied on and the strength that I needed to face my fears. I know that whatever may come our way we will be able to weather the storms. It is clear that the Lord sends people into our lives to guide us down the paths we must travel. I was never alone.