Horror Movies Suck And Here's Why

Fear is an essential part of the human conscious and without it, we may not be alive today.

Our natural fear of certain things is merely an adaptation passed down through generations from times when our ancient ancestors were preyed upon by saber-toothed tigers and giant sloths. Despite the fact that we have evolved and adapted to be, as far as we know, the top of our food chain, this aspect of our humanity remains. However, with the lack of any real threat to our lives, many humans have come to find satisfaction in fear.

The rush of adrenaline and disenfranchisement of power that accompanies fright and terror are often nowadays attributed solely to the movie industry. From the beginning of the cinema experience, films depicting the grotesque, ghoulish and ghastly have attracted various crowds all seeking the thrill of experiencing something beyond themselves that would otherwise be impossible to grasp.

Films such as "Night of the Living Dead", "Nosferatu" and even "The Fly" helped to spark an odd love-hate relationship between the general public and the horror industry.

Although stories and tales of the strange and supernatural have existed for as long as time can tell, the adaptation of many of these tales to the big screen has added a more human, and thus more frightening, element. Before people could simply confine tales of bloodthirsty killers and crazed creatures to their imagination but now they are, in a sense, real.

For many years the horror movie industry achieved its goal in truly frightening the general public, however, in recent years they have failed to do so on a massive scale. Although there have been several gems here and there, most modern horror movies feed off of mass hysteria as opposed to true, instinctual, human fear.

From a commercial standpoint, feeding off hysteria is a great idea. By appealing to whatever is popular at the time movie producers and directors can make a quick buck and possibly even gain a cult following if their film is popular enough.

The recent "It" film based off of Stephen King's best-selling novel is one such case. The movie, other than its main characters and basic premise, bears no resemblance to the novel of the same name. Most importantly it feeds off of what was, at the time, nationwide hysteria over clowns.

Several months prior to the release of the movie, waves of creepy clown sightings swept the United States. Naturally, the reasons behind this enumeration of sightings unexplained, many people had reason to be concerned, worried and even scared in some instances. Although released after sightings had stopped, "It" successfully fed off of this hysteria and now is set for a sequel in the coming years.

Even though the movie was a success, "It" really achieved nothing other than a fat paycheck for its creators. Although it may be a good commercial practice, when it comes to the horror genre, fear should be something that almost paralyzes its viewer and the movie should use its story, cinematography, music and acting to convey a level of fear that is real, human, and incredibly basic.

One such movie that does so better than most is "Blair Witch Project." This film took the human aspects of fear to extreme levels and even spawned its own genre of films known as "found footage."

What makes "Blair Witch Project" so terrifying, however, is the fact that it keeps things from the viewer. The film is shot in a documentary format and, at the time it was released, was advertised as a real and factual film. The film creates fear and terror without using preexisting fears. Thus, as opposed to "It" and other similar movies of our time, "Blair Witch Project" created mass hysteria instead of feeding off of it.

This is what makes a horror movie good which many producers have forgotten or simply do not care to incorporate. Although there are producers and directors today that fully understand this concept, their movies never receive the recognition they deserve and instead are left to give the limelight to lesser films. Hopefully with time, the general public, as well as producers and directors, will learn to appreciate the value of quality and true fear over a quick buck and some cheap jump scares.

10 Ways To Be The Girl Every Guy Wants

1. Smile all the time.

Guys want to be with girls who are always happy. Men get severely uncomfortable when all the women around them are not Cheshire cat level elated all the fucking time. Why are you mad? Why do you look so pissed? Are you defective? Autopilot your brain to borderline creepy giddiness before men get the idea that you might actually be capable of a full range of human emotion.

2. Be smart.

Men want women to be smart, but never smarter than them. Don’t know or say anything too much about anything specifically – except sports.

3. Eat like a man, look like a lady.

How many burgers can you fit in your mouth at once? Better, even, how many hotdogs? Have the appetite of a grizzly bear, but eat like a cute tiny rabbit, or Kate Upton faking an orgasm. Oh, and never, ever get above a size 4.

4. Play video games.

No guy can resist a girl who loves to play video games (in her underwear). Fifa, 2K, Smash, Kart – know them all. If you can’t at least beat his worst friend at his favorite game, you’re not a keeper.

5. Love beer.

If you can’t throw ‘em back like one of the guys, you’re not wifey. Yeah, that Norwegian IPA no one's ever fucking heard of? You got it. Bud Light? Sure. Fat Tire? You love that shit. Feel free to let out that beer burp while you’re at it, but the burp you’d imagine a Japanese dwarf squirrel would let out after eating rainbows. Oh, and don’t forget, size 4.

6. Be a freak, but also a nun.

We all know that lyric (thank you, Ludacris, so much). Hit those yoga poses hard because he wants you to bust that shit out like you’ve done it before. But you haven’t … right? Have you?!

7. Keep him on his toes.

No man wants a woman who is predictable and boring. Challenge him. Keep him intrigued. Drop an F bomb every now and then. Learn a foreign language in your spare time so that you might give the illusion of being exotic in bed (Slavic languages sound super sexy). Induce yourself into an epileptic seizure. Whatever it takes to keep it interesting.

8. Have quirks.

Ah, quirks. The things that make people unique. The things that make people, people. You must have at least three of these but no more than five. Think relatable Stepford Wife.

9. Be hot.

This is potentially the most important, and luckily I don’t need to tell you how this works. Look at anything. Anywhere. That ever existed.

10. Never, ever get mad.

The worst thing you can do as a woman is challenge a man’s authority. Don’t talk back. Don’t think. Don’t have expectations. Sit. Roll over. Hold the bark.

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And finally, in the spirit of strong conclusions and remarkably appropriate GIFs:

15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.

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Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.

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Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.

3.Bunnicula

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You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.

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You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.

The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".