Billionaire fat black lady Oprah Winfrey and psychotic male feminist Hugo Schwyzer, both of whose zany shenanigans landed them in this column last week, are actin’ a fool again.

As the story goes, Oprah was ogling a $38,000 handbag at a Zurich boutique a month or so ago when a Swiss clerk allegedly told her it would be “too expensive” for her to purchase. The former queen of daytime talk shows, who’s now doing publicity for her film The Butler and apparently can use some press hype, threw an old-school Congo conniption and blamed the incident on—what else?—racism. Although the store clerk disputes crucial details, the Associated Press deemed the event a “racist encounter” and Switzerland’s national tourism office proffered a slobbering apology.

Self-admitted attempted murderer, sexual assailant, and cheesy “bad boy male feminist” Hugo Schwyzer emerged from his post-suicide-attempt vacation at the Funny Farm to prove that intensive psychotherapy and antipsychotic medication are no cure for being punchably annoying. The bad penny turned up on Twitter, claiming he used “sex and charm and whiteness” to scam and bed gullible feminists. He dubbed himself “a breathtakingly cocky fraud” who “loved the attention” but failed to note that he obviously still loves the attention.

YOU MIGHT TAWANA CHANGE YOUR FIRST NAMETawana Brawley, who is simultaneously the world’s most famous rape hoaxer and hate-crime hoaxer, has finally started paying restitution for defaming a white New York prosecutor back in the late 1980s. Brawley, who falsely claimed that Steven Pagones was part of a gang of evil white racist rapists who smeared the words “nigger” and “bitch” on her fifteen-year-body after despoiling her, has been living in Virginia and using aliases such as Tawana Thompson and Tawana Gutierrez, possibly unaware that it’s the “Tawana” part that’s a dead giveaway.

NIGGA WANNA CRACKA?Whereas Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper found himself boiling in the cannibals’ pot last week for using the “N” word—and no, we don’t mean “nihilist,” “nincompoop,” or “neurosurgeon”—a pair of Detroit Lions revealed that they call each other “nigga” and “cracker” as terms of endearment. Tony Scheffler (the cracker) and Louis Delmas (the nigga) have been friends since playing together in college and refuse to let racial slurs get in the way of their abiding locker-room affection for one another.

In a story that received no national hype, a group of black teens in Louisville allegedly beat up a white man with fists and a tree log while calling him “honky,” “cracker,” and “white trash.”

IT’S THOSE DARNED NAZIS AND REDNECKS AGAINIn what is perhaps the most disjointed and nonsensical essay ever to appear on the Internet, a female Yahoo! scrivener took talk-show host Chelsea Handler to task for not, er, um, properly handling the fact that her grandfather owned a book with a swastika on it, even though he “probably wasn’t a full-blown Nazi.” Handler is commended for being Jewish and scolded for failing to realize that “this is, you know, HITLER. Slow. It. Down.” Is. It. Wrong. To. Think. That. People. Who. Put. Periods. After. Every. Word. Like. That. Should. Be. Exterminated?

A group of neo-Confederates in Richmond, VA, are planning to fly a large Confederate flag near Interstate 95, prompting Virginia NAACP Executive Director King Salim Khalfani—no, we’re not making up that name—to warn that such symbolic blasphemy “would be an embarrassment” and “make Richmond look like a backwater, trailer park, hick town” rather than an urban-jungle, roach-motel, ghetto-thug town. If the Confederacy “had been successful, I’d still be in chains,” bewailed Khalfani, who is presumably at least 150 years old.

STEPPING OVER THE THIN BLUE LINE‘Twas not a good week for the Boys in Blue and their ongoing public-relations outreach. Video footage circulated of a Florida officer punching a 14-year-old girl in the head, an Oregon officer smacking a 10-year-old boy in the face, and an Indiana officer slamming a 60-year-old man to the ground. In the latter case, the policeman was subsequently named “Community Policing Support Officer of the Year.” And inCamden, NJ, reputedly America’s most violent city, a picture emerged of a cop either sleeping or yawning in his squad car.

THE FOOLS IN OUR SCHOOLSThe Chicago Teachers Union sent out a mass email encouraging comrades to march on Washington, DC “for Trayvon, for jobs, for schools, for health care, for justice and for dignity.” Conspicuously absent from the list were things such as “English skills, math skills, and critical-thinking skills.” Earlier this month, the meddlesome termites at the Southern Poverty Law Center filed a legal complaint against the State of Florida for setting the educational bar far lower for blacks and Hispanics than for whites and Asians, despite the fact that it’s how test results consistently skew. The SPLC’s complaint did not mention a recent videotaped attack in Florida where three black students pound a white student into the floor of a school bus. Nor did it consider the idea that the problem with America’s educational system may not be bad schools, but rather bad students, and the fact that test scores have flatlined despite the fact that per-pupil spending has skyrocketed in constant dollars.

THE RELIGION OF WORKPLACE VIOLENCEFort Hood shooter Nidal Malik Hasan, despite the fact that he allegedly shouted “Allahu Akbar!” while slaying 13 people, despite the fact that he corresponded with al-Qaeda leader Anwar al-Awlaki, and despite reports that he claimed he was “happy” when a jihadist murdered an American soldier in 2009, is being tried not as a terrorist but as a perpetrator of “workplace violence.”

Superstar atheist Richard Dawkins was called an “old white racist”—which everyone knows is the absolute worst thing in the world—after he noted that despite Islamic claims to scientific preeminence, Muslim scientists had won a meager number of Nobel Prizes.

SPOUSAL HOMICIDE ON FACEBOOKSocial media’s slimy underbelly came to light yet again last week after 31-year-old Derek Medina of Miami allegedly shot his wife to death during a domestic dispute, then posted a picture of her corpse on Facebook. Medina is the author of several self-help e-books with rambling titles such as World Just Ask Yourself Why We Are Living a Life Full of Lies and How I an Emotional Writer Made All of My Professional Dreams Come True Blocking Society’s Teachings and How I Saved Someone’s Life and Marriage and Family Problems Thru Communication.

TheAntidote: I read Orca’s account, and she did immediately perceive it as a case of racial discrimination (or profiling, if you will). She also admitted she considered throwing down the race card, but instead went on slow burn and released the story to her publicist for full international raycizm accusation and apology.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BretEastonWaugh: I believe the poor little Italian girl from the store. Who believes a Ghetto-slob that would buy a handbag for 38 000 $ anyway?This slob should crawl back into her hole in Mississippi and keep Switzerland beautiful.

reply rls976: Right-on. However, I must assert that Oprah Winfrey is my favorite kind of black woman: The kind that never breeds.

reply rudebaldguy: OW made money on the whole deal. All she wanted was publicity. She got it free. We gave it to her. She is now a richer saint / martyr than before. Poor thing.

Walt Bernard: Unsurprisingly, Hugo Schwyzer turns out to be a J-w pretending to be a white man. Like so many of these high profile cryptids claiming to be guilt-stricken over their white privilege, mommy was a shiksa, and Daddy was a full-blood member of the Hate Tribe.

The dark Christian themes of guilt and atonement shape everything these infiltrators do; they are the treacherous currents that underlie and inform everything that happens on the surface. He knows Whitey is obsessed with the idea of atoning to the negroes for slavery, atoning to all the dusky peoples of the third world for exploiting them, stealing their resources and polluting the planet, atoning to women for having kept them down, and most of all, atoning to the J-ws for the Holocaust. Likewise, in America, he must atone to the Mexicans and the injuns for stealing the land he lives on. Mind you, each individual Whitey may or may not feel personally guilty for those things, but Whitey knows as well as he knows rabbi Jeebus is his personal Savior that atoning for them is necessary and just; in fact, if he’s innocent, that’s even better and more Christ-like, for was not the Lamb of God himself innocent? Yes, it’s a heavy cross to bear, but he’s determined to carry it up to Golgotha himself, and swears he will do so or die trying. What can it be but proof of God’s love and his own destiny, that if he slips and falls, Hugo Schwyzer or Tim Wise or one like him is always there to help him up again? Yea, verily brethren, both J-w and non-J-w, each must play his role in this Passion, this re-enactment of Calvary. The world must be redeemed one way or another from its sinfulness, and since the first sacrifice was not enough, Whitey will redeem it this time with his own blood, once more and forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~bigone4u: Between Oprah Blimpfrey, Tawana Brawley, Riley Cooper, and King Salim Khalfani, I take it that Obama’s promised post-racial America is another mirage created by Cultural Marxists to pacify and control us. Are we ever going to learn?

ObligeNobility: Public personas in modern America exist as part of the worst zoo yet known to mankind. Self-important baboons wildly gesticulating their illogical reasons why they deserve more bananas, the multitude of snaky scam-artists waiting to indiscriminately snag the unsuspecting bare heel, the chameleon-like politicians perfecting their timing so as to get into the lobbying corps, and wide-eyed lemurs, clueless, and acting out roles assigned to them.

It’s hard to be a noble horse, but the first step out of the cage is remembering what Socrates intimated: “…most people, if they have to do with horses and make use of them, do them harm.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SilverMeteor: “…another mirage created by Cultural Marxists to pacify and control us. Are we ever going to learn?”

Before the collapse of the USSR I used to wonder whether that nation or the USA would “win” the race to the bottom, the errors of each country being so systemically toxic and fatal to survivability. The collapse of the USSR turned out to be, in my opinion, surprisingly mild and even pacific, despite the very serious poverty seen in the cities during this period. (But Ivan had lived in poverty throughout the entire Soviet era, so it wasn’t really new to them. Nevertheless, most Russians did comport themselves with dignity, I’d say.) I think an economic collapse in the USA (due to our “Zimbabwe economic policies”) would be far different and far less pacific. It would be extremely violent because of the racial antipathy toward whites, fostered by the constant drumbeat of The MSM attributing to whites the charge of racism, while readily ignoring or excusing the far, far more virulent black violence toward whites. The well-nigh universal hatred and/or noticeable contempt toward whites, worsening year by year, is, I believe, due to the deliberate vilification of whiles by The Media (and Public Schools too). The Media and their bosses are spoiling for a widespread racial upheaval. But then, Marxists always do their “best” work in chaos; they worship the god, Chaos. Just as Marxists needed violence to create the USSR, so they need violence here to create the USSA. — How do you spell “Gulag,” boys and girls? “F-E-M-A. FEMA!” — I hope somebody tells me I am an alarmist, and it won’t happen here. And I hope that somebody is right!

Drain52: What is it with cops these days? Is it just the ubiquity of cameras catching them red-handed whereas before they got away with their criminality, or are they in fact more violent and trigger-happy than they used to be?

I wonder if the incessant militarization of cops, combined with their large numbers of war vets and America’s sustained kissing of authority’s anuses, have turned them into badged goons.

Erasmus: Go to almost any East Asian grocery store. There you’ll find those mini-shrines to make the household altars to one’s ancestors, still common in many immigrant homes, festooned with swastikas. Albeit runnig in the opposite direction from the Nazi symbol, but swastikas nonetheless.

As for Virginia NAACP Executive Director King Salim Khalfani, give this man world-wide coverage. That a grown man should take such a clownish name upon himself not only shows that he’s still in his adolescence but that the NAACP is no longer a serious organization and now, like too many other organizations, exists primarily to give people who could never make it in the real world cushy executive jobs.

BTW, I’ll wager most Americans would feel a lot safer in a trailer park even in the middle of the night than they ever would in a “culturally vibrant” neighborhood even in the full light of day.

CNN AIRED “OUR NIXON” THE OTHER NIGHT, A TWO HOUR DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THIS CROOK AND RACIST. I DIDN’T WATCH IT, AND I HAD NO DESIRE TO DO SO. THESE TAPES TELL ME ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THEIR NIXON. THOUGH NOT POST-RACIAL (AS IF ANYTHING IS) THEY SET A TONE. THIS KIND OF NASTINESS COMING FROM THE WHITES HOUSE, LEAVES US WITH NO HOPE IN OUR HOUSE–TO BE TREATED AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN ANIMALS.