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Author
Topic: :'( I disclosed and he dissappeared. (Read 3014 times)

Hi: Just wanted to share this with you. Itīs kinda pathetic, but hey, I guess I can vent here.

Well, over the weekend, I decided to go out to a pub. It was a nice place, and I met a guy there. I mean, for me it is sooo very difficult to meet people, and approach others. Anyway. We began talking, and all of a sudden, we were kissing.

Things were getting "warmer" (You know what I mean). So I told him that before doing anything else, there was something he had to know. So I told him I am HIV+. And well, I guess he panicked. I wanted to be honest. To do the fraking damn right thing for once in my life. To try to do it right this time.

Hi: Just wanted to share this with you. Itīs kinda pathetic, but hey, I guess I can vent here.

Well, over the weekend, I decided to go out to a pub. It was a nice place, and I met a guy there. I mean, for me it is sooo very difficult to meet people, and approach others. Anyway. We began talking, and all of a sudden, we were kissing.

Things were getting "warmer" (You know what I mean). So I told him that before doing anything else, there was something he had to know. So I told him I am HIV+. And well, I guess he panicked. I wanted to be honest. To do the fraking damn right thing for once in my life. To try to do it right this time.

I just hate this f*cking thing. F*cking mess.

Alex

Alex,You did do it right. The bad thing is that you have no control over his actions / reactions. Just don't let other's bad behavior have any control over your good behavior. The only good thing I can see from it is that you found out early on that he couldn't handle it (not that that makes it any easier). I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.

Hi: Just wanted to share this with you. Itīs kinda pathetic, but hey, I guess I can vent here.

Well, over the weekend, I decided to go out to a pub. It was a nice place, and I met a guy there. I mean, for me it is sooo very difficult to meet people, and approach others. Anyway. We began talking, and all of a sudden, we were kissing.

Things were getting "warmer" (You know what I mean). So I told him that before doing anything else, there was something he had to know. So I told him I am HIV+. And well, I guess he panicked. I wanted to be honest. To do the fraking damn right thing for once in my life. To try to do it right this time.

I just hate this f*cking thing. F*cking mess.

Alex

Well hunnie, if he took the high-road when he found out about your HIV+ status, then he really wasn't for you, I admire your honesty, and don't worry, you'll find someone else, I find it VERY INTERESTING that after 23.2 yrs. of AIDS, that people are still very ignorant about how you can get HIV and AIDS, and that it can be prevented guess he just wasn't interested in SAFE SEX, or he may not know what that even is, I do hope he gets EDUCATED about all of this before it's too late.............he may already have HIV and STD's and may not even know this

« Last Edit: October 20, 2008, 12:41:14 PM by denb45 »

Logged

"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

You're an honest man and you did do the right thing by being up front with him. It's his loss and not worth your time thinking about it. I know it's easier said than done and no one likes to go through reactions like that but keep your chin up buddy. Smile. Pleasant surprises are always just around the corner!

Logged

In Hollywood an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity.~ Lauren Bacall

thank you guys. I had to work only half time today, so I went to lunch and went to have a drink on y own. It is just that the feeling of abroken toy so so strong. And I ean, he was cute.and it was nice while it lasted. you know? I gave him my phone number, after I told him, just in case. even though in that momentbi knew he will never call.

yes. I am a little bit drunken. just a little bit. even when it is early here. whatever, who cares.

I just arrived to my tini place. I just wanna sleep. and cry. but even the tears reuse to com out .

Hi: Just wanted to share this with you. Itīs kinda pathetic, but hey, I guess I can vent here.

Well, over the weekend, I decided to go out to a pub. It was a nice place, and I met a guy there. I mean, for me it is sooo very difficult to meet people, and approach others. Anyway. We began talking, and all of a sudden, we were kissing.

Things were getting "warmer" (You know what I mean). So I told him that before doing anything else, there was something he had to know. So I told him I am HIV+. And well, I guess he panicked. I wanted to be honest. To do the fraking damn right thing for once in my life. To try to do it right this time.

I just hate this f*cking thing. F*cking mess.

Alex

I'm sorry you had this reaction. But as others have said, this guy wasn't worth your time. There are better people out there for you. Way better !

I'm sorry this guy wasn't able to handle it. After I decided to go back out after my diagnosis, I told two guys I ran into ( that I had dated before) that I was now HIV pos, and they both reacted the same way. "So, I've dated pos guys before" . I was stunned by the responses. The third guy I told I ended up dating for a year. His reaction was different than the first two as he wasn't sure how to react, but knew he liked me enough to try and deal with it. The difference between that scenario and yours, is that we dated for a month WITHOUT sex before I told him. I let him get to knew ME first, before my medical history.

I've become leary of disclosing again, to the point of finding other excuses to stop seeing a guy because I don't think I'll continue to run into guys who are ok with it, and I don't think I'm going to like how it will feel.

Go ahead and let those tears out today, but no more drinking in self pity, ok ??

I hope that you can take this from this experience and learn from it- YOU DID PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE AND MET A GUY! He could have told you he doesn't date a Pisces man ( or whatever sign you may be~)! Get out there and do it again, but let the guy get to know you first before sex.

I disclosed to my current partner immediately after my diagnosis and long before we became sexually or emotionally involved. Hell we weren't really much more than correspondents on the net! We've now been together for three years and I couldn't be happier! Conversely, after I disclosed and also well before I and my partner became involved, I disclosed to someone else under the same circumstances and he rejected me.

Bottom line, don't let this incident mislead your perception of what is important. The chance of a piece of ass isn't. Creating trust and building something worthwhile is!

Thanks for sharing Alex. I think we have all been through this and you definitely did the right thing so I am proud of you. When you do it each time it even gets easier and gets rid of the bad apples right away.