John’s birthday gift was a parrot, once owned by a sailor. The problem was, it had a foul mouth (pun intended). It was rude, obnoxious and profane so John decided to retrain it by playing soft music and speaking to it in low tones, but no dice. The bird had a mind of his own.

Finally, they had a knock down, drag out shouting match and John totally lost it. He grabbed the parrot and stuffed him into the freezer. It squawked, cursed and floundered for a full minute – and then fell into silence. One minute passed. Two. Three. John opened the door to see if it was still alive.

The parrot walked out, shivering so hard it could barely stand, and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions, sir. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior. One question, if you please. May I ask what the turkey did?”