3. You can't trust your cousins not to stab you in the back. Although on the bright side, at least they're unlikely to do it literally.Learned from Richard II (Tobacco Factory)

2. The only safe way to interact with children if you want to avoid all liability as a teacher is to avoid them. Hiding from them in the staffroom all day is the only way to be safe, no matter how much you genuinely care about them.Learned from Mogadishu (Lyric Hammersmith)

1. There is no public transport in Cherbourg. If you wish to travel without walking, merely extend both arms and wait for the friendly local sailors to give you a lift, as it were.Learned from The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (Gielgud)