Tuesday, September 28, 2010

You know that irrational fear you might hurl yourself off a balcony or scream curse words in church?

I see a few of you nodding and the rest wondering if you should keep a closer eye on your friends in multi-story buildings and places of worship.

I feel this way as I prepare to attend my first writers’ conference this week. Not that I’m afraid I’ll leap from the 17th floor of the Seattle East Hilton Bellevue, though the cursing is always likely.

It’s the little things that worry me, really. I’ve studied the list of workshops available at the Emerald City Writers Conference, but I’m not savvy enough to know how many I get to attend or how I’ll find my way from point A to point B. I specified my preference for the smoked salmon ravioli, but worry I should stuff my purse with crackers and a 15-pound turkey to satisfy my constant need for snacking.

And what to wear? “Business casual” in Central Oregon means something very different than it does in Seattle, and I also fret that the current heat wave in the Pacific Northwest will prompt conference organizers to air condition the rooms to the approximate temperature of a meat locker.

At least I don’t have to roam the city looking for a good cardboard box to sleep in. A couple members of my RWA chapter in Portland very kindly offered me a spot in their room, but I’m not certain whether I’ll be sleeping in a bed or on the bathroom floor. I also have to confess that I’m not 100% sure I’ve met these kind souls in person. What can I say? I’m terrible with names and faces, and despite our friendly email banter about room rates and breakfasts, it still hasn’t completely clicked for me who these women are. If it turns out they’re zombies or serial killers, I hope the maid doesn’t have too much trouble scrubbing my blood from the carpet.

I know these are trivial things in the grand scheme of my writing career, and I’ll figure it all out once I get there. I’m attending this conference to learn and to make new friends, and I intend to do that even if I have to use my plastic pirate sword to take hostages in the lobby.

Have you been to a writers’ conference before? Do you have any tips for newbies like me? If you’ve never attended one, what’s holding you back?

32 comments
:

I've never been to a writers conference before, but I totally get the swearing in church feeling. I'm always afraid I'll yell out the F word anywhere that's quite. I like to think of the reactions I'd get from people (it must be the writer in me). I had a friend once who would only drink from a straw because she was afraid she'd try biting the glass.

Here are some basics..don't be afraid to ask others for help or directions, take small bites and if you're worried about any slip ups avoid alcohol. I have a habit of dropping food on myself,(classy, I know) so I tend to wear dark tops.

Other than that follow the same rules you did when you were a kid: smile, be friendly and if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything.

1. Don't wear perfume. Wear a scented lotion at most. Many people are very sensitive, if not allergic to strong scents. One agent at Surrey even mentioned in in a workshop. One woman had to dash out and smoke before her pitch appt and apparently reeked of cigarette smoke. Another pitch appt was a man with very strong cologne. The agent said your preferred reaction is to have an agent leaning forward in anticipation and interest, not leaning back to get away from the smell.

2. Roommates are fun. Surrey has an open list going each year for people who have a double room and would like a roommate or people looking to share a room. They also have lists for people to meet up and share a ride from the airport.

3. Once you get there, you will have time to sit down and plot out which panels and workshops are best. I, being a list maker, carefully plot these out ahead of time and then adjust later. At both conferences, we had a large group of friends so we rearranged things so all the interesting workshops got covered and then we shared notes on the ones we missed.

4. I'm sure your clothes are going to be fine. Slacks, a nice blouse and sweaters or jackets. Most rooms are cold and you can always take a sweater or jacket off if they aren't. Wear a dress if you're comfortable in them.

I wore jeans, shirts and vest or jackets, boots and a hat to both conferences and I was happy as a clam and comfortable. Don't wear crap that is uncomfortable just because it looks good.

Comfy shoes are very important. I've been to two conferences and in both I managed to nearly cripple myself because of my shoe choices. Secondly, have fun. You're going to be rubbing elbows with tons of other authors who are wondering if they're going to puke on their breakfast companions before their agent/editor pitches. Maybe bring several Tide pens just in case someone does spew.

Other than that, just enjoy yourself. Take the workshops you're most interested in and take time to get to know people. These really are some cool peeps.

And try to get out of the workshops/events faster than everyone else if you have to pee. Or invest in some diapers. The lines can be horrible!

Don't schedule yourself so tight you are racing from one meeting to the next. Know that you are not going to get to attend every panel that looks interesting and don't drive yourself crazy about it.

The second thing, don't be afraid to skip a panel and hang out in the bar or cafe with some newfound friends. All the best networking happens in bars or restaurants and sometimes, that's where you learn the best stuff.

Last, have fun. That's the most important part and the one I have the most trouble with. I tend to get so nervous that I forget that part.

I have attended and actually run dozens of conferences (business, not writing). They are exhausting, from both sides of the coin. You can't do it all, so it is best to determine in advance what your main goals are. What do you want/need to get out of this event?

Plan out which presentations you want to attend in advance, but also be flexible. You might sit next to a presenter at a meal and find her fascinating and want to attend her session. If you know someone who has attended this conference in the past, ask for their recommendations.

Pace yourself. If you try to do too much you will be worn out by the end and nonfunctional. Don't try to attend back to back sessions on opposite ends of the venue. Snack often. Conferences usually have set times for this. Take advantage. It's always a good idea to have something in your purse, too.

Have fun. The social aspect of conferences can be as valuable if not more so than the educational/business part of it. Attend the parties. Introduce yourself to people everywhere you go. Don't eat meals alone. You have the opportunity to make some great connections with people in your field. Make the most of that. You will likely be in touch with them long after you forget what someone said in a seminar.

Ok, since I'm not cruel enough to twitter-tease about seriously peeing my pants at a conference and not follow through with the story, here it is.

Anyway, I have this bottlenecked-esophagus thing, so once in a while even a small piece of food gets stuck. Not in a place so I'm choking, but so it's really really uncomfortable. So, 1st day of a 5-day conference, we're in the giant conference room before the keynote address, and I'm having hors d'oeuvres and listening to a co-worker when I realize there's a bite of meatball that's stuck. I didn't want to get up and leave the co-worker while she was talking, so I took a sip of my drink, thinking that would help, although I should have known better. So then I have a sip of Pepsi sitting on top of a bite of meatball, not going anywhere. It was getting really bad, so I managed to excuse myself and leave the room. By the time I got out to the hallway my throat was making Chewbacca noises. No restroom nearby, so I was sort of hiding in a corner, hoping everything would self-correct.

It sort of did self-correct, in the projectile sense, all over the nice oak doors of the Marriott. Two seconds later a waiter walked out carrying a tray, having no idea how bad his day almost was. I was actually thinking I could return to the conference-- and then I realized I'd peed my pants. Not just a little. I mean a to-the-knees-in-a-pair-of-khakis peeing. Thankfully I had my phone in my pocket, so after the walk of shame to the restroom, I called my husband to come pick me up so I could go home early. When he arrived he asked what happened and I said, "I told you on the phone-- I choked, I threw up, I peed my pants. "Oh, you really did? I thought you meant it as a metaphor," he said.

I don't know any metaphor that goes like that.

Since my hair was wavy then, I straightened it the rest of the conference days. I'm sure people were thinking, "Huh, that looks just like the redhead who peed...but no, can't be. Hair's too straight."

So I guess my sage advice is, if you start to choke on something, don't worry about being polite. Leave the room immediately. You're welcome.

I haven't done conferences yet, but I did have to deliver software training in a previous role. I had to travel and only packed one bag.

Layers are your friend. Short sleeve shell, long sleeve sweater, jacket, whatever, over it and poof - you're ready for the meat locker inside while the rest of the world is still rocking summer weather.

I wore a lapel mic. Forgot I was still wearing it during our break. Took it the ladies room.

It was still on.

Luckily, the range isn't all that great on those things but believe me when I tell you I HID in that bathroom until they dragged my butt back out.

Janet said it best... be your marvelous self. If that means peeing, spewing, so what? We love you for the zany things you say and do - sure they will too.

I've done several RWA Nationals (1 of them 7 months pregnant) and recommend/second the following:

-Keep snacks and a bottle of water in your bag. You never know how long the lines are going to be for coffee stands/restaurants-Wear layers and take a sweater. I run colder than most so I also kept a pair of fuzzy socks in my bag just in case (they came in handy many a time when I couldn't not wear my sooper cute sandals)-Biz cards. Yep.-I've done both over the shoulder totes and backpacks and it's backpacks FTW! -"Business casual" really runs the gamut at these things but seriously as long as you are clean and brushed you should do fine. The tip on lotion vs perfume = 100% awesome.-Make/allow room in your schedule to hang out in the bar. You find the most interesting people there.-Be flexible. You may have a bunch of panels you planned to attend but you never know who you're going to bump into and end up stalking/hanging out with, which can in and of itself be highly educational.

I've been to several writers' conferences and loved every one. The best single piece of advice I can give is introduce yourself to everyone you can. I generally open with "Hi, I'm Susan...what do you write?"

For the most part, the conversation goes from there. I've never met anyone at a conference who didn't love answering that question, and I've made some really good friends at conferences.

I also set conference goals, but in the interest of not monopolizing your comment thread I'll just say there's a category for it over at my blog and leave it there for anyone who cares enough to click through.

I'm normally an introvert except at conferences, so it's a fun time to step out of my shell and enjoy the company of other people who live in imaginary worlds and kill their imaginary friends. (OK, maybe that's more prevalent in historical fiction, but it works in my world...)

I've never been to a conference, partly because I haven't heard of any in Chicago and the El doesn't travel far enough. Also, I'd feel kind of intimidated about bringing my work in to show other people, particularly any agents who might be there. It makes me think of going to a job fair and standing in line to show people my resume, which is also intimidating. But I wouldn't mind going to a conference if it meant I could take a workshop with a cool author.

I can almost always resist the urge to curse loudly in public. Not always the urge to chew on my soda can, but I'm okay on the cursing front. Unfortunately, my life requires me to be in one specific place for most of the year, so traveling for conferences is out. For the time being, anyway.

Tawna I am late to the party but it looks like you're good in the advice department. Loads of great stuff already imparted (bring a sweater, biz cards, comfy shoes, snacks, bottle of water, etc.) to you.

I'll just add that you should take a few minutes after check in (or beforehand if you have it online) to browse the schedule and circle the workshops that interest you. Then map them out and see if you need to cut anything out. Culling anything that's a time conflict or if you'll be sprinting from one end of the hotel/venue to the other. The person who said you should make time to hang out in the bar is also your new BFF because that's a great suggestion.

I organized my local RWA chapter's last conference in CHICAGO (looking at you Neurotic Workaholic) this past spring and met loads of new and wonderful people. It was great fun and I hope you have a great time.

Never been to a writing conference--thought I ALMOST made it to the SCBWI one up in Charlotte, NC. Darned dog babysitters (ie, the parents) decided to run off to Myrtle Beach for a shag week (no, not that kind of shagging. The shag is the state dance of South Carolina. And, no, I didn't know that until I moved here.).

I'm always afraid of the Diet Coke Burp. Right in someone's face. When I'm talking. Uhg.