To Face My Future I have to Face My Past

Tag: motivation

It’s easier to express myself to something that doesn’t talk back. I just want to say whatever I feel like saying. Today I need to talk about me. This girl who I use to be proud of. I ran out of patience for myself. Well damnit no more pity parties. Get your shit together. Wipe away those tears and get yo ass up and do whatever it is you need to do so you can love yourself again. You can do it! Believe in who you are and make this shit happen! -RealityOfAPreachersDaughter

Sometimes, no 98% of the time I have to encourage and motivate myself. This time is no different. When you have bills due and you’re wondering where the money is coming from and you’re doing everything possible…. think “What’s in my hands”.

What do you have to offer the world. If you haven’t been thinking about it, you probably won’t realize it, but everything you need for the moment you’re living in is within your reach…

Ironically, I’m writing this on a Sunday. In the modern day “Christian” religion, it’s known as the Sabbath.

When you’re a Christian, you’re suppose to remember to always choose the Bible first. Reading other books related to Christian history and other religious books can damage your views of “Christ” and the bible. Well at least that’s how I was taught.

When I was a little girl, I remember saying “I’m not a Christian”. I never wanted to be. I watched “Christians” struggle, judge, lose themselves, hide, manipulate, hate, distort truth and consider themselves an untouchable being.

That’s not even all… Why in the world would anyone want to be like that? I recognized that as a little girl and decided I didn’t want to be “religious” or labeled to be anything other than myself. Now I recognize that even more. I’ve allowed myself to go a little deeper in the history of Christianity and learn history of Africa. Now I’m wondering what’s going on? Things aren’t adding up. I haven’t devoted enough time researching to talk about what I’ve learned so far, but to anyone with an open mind, you’d be wondering about “Christianity” too.

As a “Preacher’s Daughter”, and growing up with strict teachings, people will say all types of things about the person I’ve become.

“She’s a backslider” -What does that mean??

“She’s prodigal”

“She’s running from her call”

“Blasphemer”

If my mom knew what I thought, she would be horrified and probably go on a fast for my soul.

My dad would probably say since I don’t talk to him anymore I’ve turned my heart from God. There’s a word for that he’s use before and I can’t think of it. I remember! He would say I have a “reprobate mind.”

Bottom line, I hate religion. It’s because of how I was raised, but you will read about that in my book.