Monday, July 13, 2009

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I'm not a fan of reality TV (unless it's some variant of Top Chef or Project Runway). I'm REALLY not a fan of MTV. So naturally, I like other rational human beings fail to see why the fuck the world cares about these two freaks in the banner. I don't know why they're famous, I don't know why the news spends so much time focusing on them, and I don't even know why I'm talking about it right now.

Oh, right, E! poll.

But yeah, after overexposing them, E! has decided to hold a poll for all their watchers/online readers: to Speidi, or not to Speidi? I naturally voted no, and I encourage all of you to do the same. Now if only they would do this with the Gosselins, JoBros, and Miley...

Monday, June 15, 2009

There's this image of older people as cranky and constantly looking back at the better days. But I aspire to be an old fogie who doesn't yell at young whippersnappers and enjoys their old age. I hope to be happily married to someone funny for an obscenely long amount of time and to have as much fun as these two youngin's did at the Mayo Clinic.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I haven't been posting lately because, well...I have a life. So I'll post as much as I can soon, but with the two jobs and summer class and social gatherings, I haven't been keeping up. If you're interested in what's up, I would tell you to follow my Twitter, either here or on the right side of this blog under "Quick & Dirty."

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

So last night was when I finally saw Amanda and Mariellen for the first time in like 20 months. Well, Amanda for 20 months, Mariellen since the 15 minutes I saw her at Rob's over Christmas break (good times). Amanda brought her friend, and Mariellen brought her boyfriend Jordan from Centre (whose name Amanda failed to remember the whole night). I found out a few things:

1) I need to hang out with those two more often. You know, when they're not working or at camp.2) The name "water ice" is stupid.

Jordan brought it up when he asked "What's...water ice?" and I thought it was a ridiculous question. Until I realized that I had asked the exact same thing the first time I heard it and just adjusted to the state cuisine.

How can something be water AND ice? It's Italian Ice. Which again, the Italians didn't invent ice, but it's a more conventional and logical name than water ice. First of all, it's more of a slush than ice, but certainly not water. Second, the flavoring isn't water, it's flavoring. It comes in mango, vanilla, cherry (with pits), Alex's Lemonade (which Alyson still needs to steal for me), and tons of others. But it's not both water and ice. If anything, it should be called "flavored slush in a cup."

Thursday, June 4, 2009

In my quest to watch as much Big Bang Theory as possible, I've come across perhaps the best characterization of college parties I've ever seen on a television show. Sheldon and Leonard have it pretty down pat.

"Like Jane Goodall observing the apes, I initially saw their interactions as confusing and unstructured, but patterns emerged. They have their own...language, if you will.""Go on.""Well it seems that the newcomer approaches the existing group with the greeting 'How wasted am I?' which is met with an approving chorus of 'Dude.'"" Then what happens?""That's as far as I've gotten.

So as I was tooling around on my laptop enjoying some season 1 Big Bang Theory, I get this e-mail from my mom:

Did you know that you should not keep your lap top ON YOUR LAP while using it as it emits radiation? It may be small amounts, but we don’t need to encourage the ovarian type cancers. Just worrying about you.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

I don't know how becoming a Pokemon master fits into a US History Class, but this met all of Lober's requirements and is now the final grade of my sister's junior history class career. So really, take a look and join me in asking: WTF?

Friday, May 29, 2009

I was skeptical that Toy Story 3 would suck. And let's face it, the original came out 14 years ago (!!!! We were so little!) and I have it on VHS. But the teaser, even though it's kind of grainy, looks pretty cute. And it's going to be in 3D, just like Up. Here's to hoping it's good.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Radiohead has become a recent obsession for me, which I seem to be pre-primed for; according to the masters at Pandora, you're more apt to be a Radiohead fan if you like Coldplay. But anyway. My modest opinion is this: Radiohead should totally bust out a ukulele on the next CD.

But seriously.

Radiohead is one of the most experimental bands out there. They got the USC Marching Band to back them up at the Grammy's on "15 Step," which very few can get away with and still be awesome. You can hear them in the background of a lot of MTV shows, and in the Pretty Brit music spectrum, they fall to the far left of Coldplay (which gained some ground in the experimenting with the "Viva La Vida" album, which employed Radiohead producer Brian Eno to get there).

So it seems only natural that at some point, Thom Yorke would pick up a ukulele and go to town, and make all of the rest of alternative music wonder why they hadn't thought of doing it themselves. As motivation for Yorke to do this? I give you this dude, in one of the few "Creep" cover attempts.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Again, news sites of the world. Keep an eye on your headlines, because they don't mean what you think they might. Kanye West did not get a Pap Smear, he actually beat up a photographer.

Just the same, I'm pretty sure the Somali pirates didn't make a booty call. I know that "booty" also means loot, and if you're a pirate, you're known to get booty. But this does not imply, as the BBC News Service did, that they made a booty call.

Get it right, guys. I'll let it slide because this is the BBC, and because this slip makes sense. E!Online, however, is not forgiven for the pap smear headline. If for no other reason, they made me look up these entries of what "pap smear" means on Urban Dictionary. You're welcome.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I'm convinced. After watching a few of those Wendy's "Frosty Posse" ads, I've decided that the goofball at the end of the commercial at first glance holds a passing resemblence to Bogart Boy Brad Collins. Thoughts? I'm pretty sure he kind of does. Mainly because, I could totally see him doing this.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

There are times when you can really see how dull Delaware is on a Saturday night, and how little is happening out there. Tonight was one of those nights.

Corinne and I decided to go to Woodside Creamery, because we were craving ice cream (and because it's arguably the best in the area, because they make their own from the milk from the cows they keep on the same farm). So we grabbed her two friends that were helping her with her project and drove over. The line wasn't too bad, and we got our ice cream pretty quick. I even ran into Mary while I was there.We then see the Mill Creek Ambulance and the emergency services truck pull up one right after the other to the gravel driveway. We start looking around for a crowd of people, or some sort of emergency. Was there a fire? Car accident? Had someone had a heart attack, or started seizing? The sirens weren't on, what was going on?

No. The paramedics just had a case of the munchies, and took a field trip—in the ambulance, with emergency services truck in tow—to go get some ice cream. There are probably hundreds of emergencies around the area, like kids celebrating the end of finals at UD with some good old fashioned alcohol poisoning, and the paramedics are here at Woodside getting some peppermint chocolate chip.

Just when I thought it would be a Lazy Sunday, I got called into work over at Kohl's. It's an odd feeling, really. I never want to go to work, but once I get there, I'm good. The people are nice (I was working with Cassandra, Whitney, Holly, Ryann, Brian, and Edna) and it wasn't too fast or slow.

But then a roach showed up.

I hear squealing from Ryann and Holly and think it's a spider. I was fully ready to step on the thing until I look over the counter and see this huge ass roach taking a stroll by register 13.

"Don't step on it, it'll crunch!" Holly says, backing away. She grabbed a hard tag Tupperware holder and put that over top, then slid a sale poster underneath to trap it. She tried to pick it up, but that didn't work out so well and ended with more squealing. They called Rito up and he just laughed, picked the roach holder up, and walked out the front door to set him free into the wild of the parking lot.

Just got to the Charter vs. St. Marks game and Lee's mom gave up blue leis to wave. "Sort of like a Terrible Towel." Dad called it a Terrible Lei, and gutter minded lacrosse moms everywhere laughed. It's going to be quite a game.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Do you ever listen to your iTunes on shuffle and find songs that you've never really listened to?

Do you ever do this and hear a song that you've heard in the background of a television show and always wanted to know what it was?

I totally just did both with "Idioteque" from Radiohead's Kid A CD (which I've grown to love since Danielle gave me that and Hail to the Theif). Turns out that I've heard it a million times before and loved it, but never knew it was Radiohead.

It's been in the background of every other episode of True Life that MTV has made. You know, when MTV was still kind of respectable.

The lounckist was told to know the dead chick so well they know the "color of her knickers." Dave's guess is that she was wearing red undies. Mad and I believe otherwise, she was a redhead. My guess is black, like my own.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm a shameless fan of House getting together with Cuddy. If you're a troll in fan forums, it would be referred to as "Huddy." And last week, when the BoGirls and I were watching the episode, The two were up against the door getting hot and heavy. Which was hot.

To the point where we were almost breaking quiet hours yelling "HI-OH!" at the TV.

Turns out the whole thing was hallucinated. He didn't have her lipstick, he wasn't taking off her clothes, and he's not clean and sober. He was going nuts and still popping pills.

Now the whole dream ending has been done before (including House itself, season 2), but this I thought was surprisingly well done. Even though the sex was fake (I still have hope it'll happen at some point for real), it was a really good ending and satisfying to see him end up in the loony bin. Which, apparently, was really shot in Jersey, unlike the rest of the show. I agree with Kristyne, the Cameron/Chase wedding was a sweeps staple and kind of boring. And Kutner showing up was a bit much (even though I love me some Kal Penn), Amber was all that was needed. But the rest of it was great.

The downside of all this is, of course, that I have to wait until September to see what exactly happens to House.

Tucker: hahaMe: What?Tucker: when gerard butler and the other spartans were training for the movieTucker: guess how many total reps they did?Me: 300.Tucker: exactlyMe: It boggles the mind.Me: I have to go drop off a final.Tucker: indeedTucker: i have to go drop off a deuceTucker: not reallyTucker: but it sounded like the right time to say itMe: It was a nice segue.Tucker: ooh, you spelled it correctly

Monday, May 4, 2009

No, this post is not about a Maroon 5 song of the same name. It was a legit wake up call.

Around 7:50 this morning, about an hour before my alarm clock goes off (9 AM. That's right, I'm a college student), I hear Fountains of Wayne "Hey Julie" and vibration from my desk, which is my Dad's ringtone.

I pick up and it's him, stuck in traffic, calling to tell me that Guns n' Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" was on the radio, and proceeds to hold up the phone to the radio so I can hear buzzing and faint screaming from Axl Rose.

If this post sounds like I'm pissed, really, I'm not. Dad does this a lot, actually, just not usually in the morning. It's usually when there's Barry White on the radio, just because "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" is the parental embarrassment song that he and Mom sing in public sometimes. Or sometimes when my sister's having her 17th birthday party in the basement and they're listening to rap, which usually ends in "Where did I go wrong? At least I have one daughter with good taste" in a forlorn voice.

Monday, April 27, 2009

I look over at my fish bowl, complete with typewriter, and started looking for ZZ, so named for his long red scales off his chin that made him look like ZZ Top. I see him floating towards the top, and so I nudge the bowl. His little fins didn't move anymore, and he just kind of drifted with the waves of the water towards the side. I poked him, and he sank.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Danielle: The articles i read didn't even say where it came from.Me: Mexico.Danielle: Except from Mexico.Me: The pigs in Mexico.Me: Just like Bird Flu started in like China.Danielle: It's strange.Me: Right?Danielle: Oh well. I highly doubt it'll be a pandemic.Me: I hope not.Me: Because I fucking love bacon.Danielle: Exactly!Danielle: Don't take my bacon away.Me: Give me liberty or give me bacon.Danielle: I really only need the bacon.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

My parents just got "married" after like 24 years of being married. Confused? Jill was.

I know I've already talked about this at length in last week's Ithacan article, but in that article I couldn't write about my own family. Which sucks, because they're quite a crew. And now they all seem to be on Facebook, which amuses me to no end. And I can tell you for a fact, every person in this picture has a profile. No joke.

My family on Facebook isn't anything too horribly new. When I first logged on, my cousins Amanda, Emily, and Hannah were already there, so we were "friends" pretty early on. More and more cousins joined up (Nathan was recent, as were Janet and Amanda), and therefore more and more Palombos were friends with me. But not those creepers that tried to friend me based on name. Hear that, Mexico?My immediate family getting online started when Dad went on YNIA, and all the kiddlings on that trip wanted to keep in touch with him, and tag him in their photos. He had no clue what that meant, so I set him up with a profile.

Corinne got one a little bit later, but that wasn't a huge surprise. She's in high school, it's kind of what you do. You complain about J Research, you talk about how worried you are about college, you post your pictures, and send stupid bumper stickers. Plus, it took her longer than Dad because the girl barely checks her e-mail.

Mom got on like 2 months ago so she could look at my pictures from California. Now normally that would freak some people the hell out, but since I didn't do anything wild and crazy I figured why not? And then as soon as she got on, I get friend requests from Aunt Dori, Aunt Kathy (who sends me nothing but forwards, but I love her anyway), and Mom's BFFs Margaret and Tim (who I've known since like birth).

It's so funny, to see a college school project turn into a way for 40 somethings to talk about their kids.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Yet another war has broken out in Bogart. And this one started over...a vacuum.

That's right. VACUUM.

We started talking about perhaps the most heated topic next to religion and political views: Midwestern Slang. See, Allie and inexplicably, PA born & bred KellyPaul both use the words "tennis shoes" for sneakers, "pop" for soda, "suckers" for lollipops, and "sweepers" for vacuums. Morgan and I choose to use the correct words the East Coast versions of those terms

I'm not even going to touch the "pop" argument, because it never ends well. I argue that sneakers is the better word, because they're not just for tennis. They're also basketball shoes, walking shoes, running shoes, baseball shoes, too rainy to wear sandals shoes, and Chuck Taylors. And I do admit that "suckers" does make sense, although I still prefer "lollipop" because that's what I'm used to.I have a problem with the "sweepers" argument. A huge problem with it.

See, "sweepers" are brooms. They sweep. Or they're the big things that clean up the streets after a wild night of drinking and partying in New Orleans, like the sucker (sorry, lollipop) seen at right.

Vacuums suck. They do not sweep. And yes, both have two vowels in a row, but I argue that two "U"s next to each other is exponentially cooler than two "E"s. Vacuums are designed to suck up all the crap on your floor, not sweep it into a corner.

To be polite, your names are illogical. To be crass, your words are stupid. and it seems to me that your belligerence on these terms and refusal to give up your foolish ways can only mean one thing. Morgan Pepper of 205 and Alexandra Palombo of 209 of the Glorious Dorm of Bogart do hereby declare Lingo War on Alexandria Taylor of 213 and KellyPaul Paul of Hood Dorm 214.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Walking back from Soup Supper at chapel tonight, we somehow got to talking about movies that were good, and what defined good, which somehow got to talking about One Hour Photo. I think it was because Kristyne was creeping with her camera...

Anyway, once we were on the topic of One Hour Photo, I said I wanted to see it. Morgan says "It's really good. Michael Vartan is naked in it."

KellyPaul says "Morgan, you only think it's good because someone's naked in it."

Which got me to thinking. Morgan has said before that she wanted to see movies because hot boys got naked. She watched 17 Again for this guy from Weeds, and at any moment could tell you if a hot boy gets nude in a movie. This can only mean one thing.

They're perhaps the best documentaries made these days, but Michael Moore isn't involved. They're not shown in movie theaters, but they make it to DVD. They're bold, they're engrossing, and they're made possible by PBS viewers like you. This is Frontline, and I'm pretty much in love.

I'll be honest, I've never really watched PBS (except for in my Sesame Street days, and the few times I've actually watched the BBC World News rather than reading it online). And even this, I don't really watch on PBS, I watch it online. But the fact that something I had to watch for class can hold my interest in my free procrastinating papers time is new to me, and I think the series deserves far more attention.

It's informative. I learned a ton from it, whether I was watching "Young and Restless in China" as I talked about in a previous post, or "News Wars," or "The Choice 2008." Even more, it's fascinating, and it's great investigative and documentary journalism, and I would pee myself if I ever got to work there. So my advice to you is to go check it out, because it's severely underrated and you might learn something.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

So Renee and I were in Euro today while our classmates taught us about the Italian mafia families and how they operate (more or less). As they talked about them branching out to other countries, we started talking about what a Swedish mafia would look like (at which time I really wanted to call up Sarah and see if she would know). Enter the following conversation:

Me: They'd shop at Ikea and be really efficient.Renee: They'd all be dressed in H&M.Me: They would all have great health coverage.Renee: And they'd all drive these really nice Volvos with the top down and listen to ABBA.

So imagine my surprise that the Svensk Maffia is a huge problem. See? This is what happens when Renee and I joke about stupid shit in Euro. We turn out to be surprisingly right.

Don't get me wrong, I am plenty worried about the people dying in Darfur, and I'm completely appalled that the world is doing so little about it.

But according to BBC News, actress Mia Farrow will be starting a hunger strike next week in solidarity with the people of Darfur. My only question is this: does anyone care about Mia Farrow anymore?

I mean, she was great in Rosemary's Baby. And it does suck that her daughter married Woody Allen (Farrow's ex-boyfriend, in a plot straight out of a Woody Allen film). But other than adopting insane amounts of kids, does she really have that much impact anymore?

I mean, if Brangelina were going on hunger strike, the world would take notice and shit would get done.

First off, there's a dead body on Lost. I don't know who it is, but it really looked like Russell Brand. Which I would be really upset if it was, because I love that crazy limey.

Logically, I knew it wasn't him. I mean, this isn't 30 Rock, there are no crazy celebrity cameos, no matter how much they're rumored.

Furthermore, young Miles was a BAMF. We all agreed that a few piercings on a guy were okay (maybe one in the ear; supposedly, an ear piercing on a guy means he'd be a good husband. He knows pain, and he's good at picking out jewelry), but all over your face? No thank you. He had them in his ears (all up in, up and down the ridge), in his nose, in his eyebrow, and three making an odd face on his chin.So basically, he looked like Trent Lane from Daria. Not that this is a bad thing, I thought Trent was pretty hot for a cartoon character. And I sort of have a thing for Asian guys, so to me, Miles is pretty sexy (more without the piercings than with, I gotta say).

Somewhere after talking about the Miles/Trent resemblence, Kelly Paul mentioned that the people on the island "can check out any time you like/but you can never leave," which I never noticed before, but is totally legit. The island is totally Hotel California.

Funny, never thought an Eagles reference would make it onto this blog...Moving on. We also decided as a group that beloved film professor/Korean chef Chang should totally make an appearance on Lost. Here are our (Letterman rip-off) Top 5 Reasons Why Chang Should Appear on Lost.

5) He would make way better Dharma Initiative videos than the crap-ass director they have employed now.4) He would beat up the polar bears with his wooden stick.3) Writers already established potential family members with Dr. Chang and Miles.2) When everyone on the island gets sick of boar meat and fish, he could make kim-chi quesadillas.1) In Kristyne's words, "It's Chang."

I generally think that acoustic covers of rap songs are stupid or funny. But as I was flipping channels tonight and came upon Ted singing "Hey Ya" acousticly at a wedding? I was in love, and had to find the song. And I did. Turns out Mat Weddle of Obadiah Parker did a killer cover, and it's romantic and sweet sounding. It's the key signature.

So suck it, Andre 3000. Someone was even more innovative than you.

And for the record? I think Sam Lloyd (Ted on Scrubs) did a better version. But I couldn't find it.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Monday, April 13, 2009

DVD Special Features usually come with:A) Deleted ScenesB) Making Of FeaturettesC) Director CommentariesD) None of the above, if it's my copy of Slumdog Millionaire.

As you can tell from this blog, there are few movies that I've been as obsessed about as Slumdog Millionaire. So when the opportunity came to own it, I was on it like white on rice.

My parents got to watch it first, and I decided to test the DVD out here on the laptop today. I had already seen the movie, so I decided to try the special features out (really, I wanted to hear the commentary with director Danny Boyle and actor Dev Patel. More on that later) and see if they were good.

So when I clicked on the Special Features bar, I was unpleasantly surprised to find that there were about 3 measly trailers for, like, The Secret Life of Bees, and nothing else. No commentaries, no deleted scenes, no blooper reels, nothing.

As it turns out, mine wasn't an isolated incident. FOX made a ton without special features to send to rental places like Blockbuster, but they accidentally made it out to the stores (like Wal-Mart, where I got mine). So I had to go on a website and register it so I could get a good copy in about 2-3 days. So if this happened to you, call 1-888-233-4FOX. Otherwise? Just laugh at people like me who got a piece of Oscar-winning DVD FAIL.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I think Ithaca Tompkins Regional Airport is the cutest thing I've ever seen. It is, essentially, a hallway with planes attached. Seriously, people, the Pyramid Mall is bigger than this airport.

You walk in the doors, and there's like 8 people to the right at those check-in desks. I already had my boarding pass, so I got to bypass that (after going there and her smiling and politely telling me I didn't have to talk to her).

Next, you walk through this bright airy lobby, where there's a model plane hanging from the roof. To the right, there's a cafe/gift shop (for all your "Ithaca is Gorges" T-Shirt needs) and to the left there's the car rental place/ baggage claim, which I didn't even see a carousel for (but I could be wrong, I took a quick glance). Ahead of you is security, which didn't take long, although I didn't have much stuff. The guy there looked at my license and started asking me questions about the Border Cafe and if I knew his family (who were teachers) in Newark. Which greatly amused me.

Past the security are the gates. All 6 of them. In a big room. You walk out of them outside to little ladders up to the planes. And in long breaks between flights? They kick you back out past security to the cafe. Which...is really funny.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Let's make this perfectly clear. Kristyne got about 3 hours of sleep last night. So coherent, in control of her wits...she is not.

We decided to head up to Towers for dinner, because we hadn't in a while. And I can't really write down the entire conversation, but I know this for sure: I wish I had the film assignment to make dialogue out of a conversation, because this was a doozy.

At some point, Kristyne laid out her life ambitions in the following order:1) Filmmaker2) Farmer/Space Cowboy (Billy Bob Thornton)(I'll get back to you on the rest).3) Spanish singer.4) Bounty Hunter.

We explained why there was unleavened bread at mass to Casey, and then Kristyne jumped in with "That's why we have this wafer shit, instaed of like a loaf of bread. And there'd be crumbs."

And then we were talking about inventions, and how she wanted to make a slate with blades to keep her film crew on the ball. A slate guillotine. This was the quote. Dead serious.

"I'm gonna get this freshman to work on my film shoot, and he'll say 'I don't want to,' and then I'll cut off—LOOK A CARDINAL!"

This was after several other awkward staring contests, a rambling rant about how the pierogies were too healthy for her (they were baked, and they were delicious), singing in Spanish how she didn't want to go to FLEFF, and a few other things.

Say what you want about her teaching, but my News I teacher has great timing.

I got an e-mail this morning around 9 AM telling me that she had the flu and therefore class would be cancelled until our next class on Monday.

Meanwhile, I was freaking out about getting a professor interview for my Facebook article (which I have to write tonight rather than tomorrow) and when I would do it, because the schedule was supposed to go as follows:

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Laura: so....im reading about rabiesLaura: ....oddMe: Especially when you should be learning about top stitches on low viscosity rayon.*pause* Laura: thats kinda creepy cuz he definitely was just mentioning rayon when you wrote that...

We decided not to go out last night, but rather to stay in, yell at Scene It? a little more (which we've pretty much memorized all the questions, so that was over before it began), and then we decided to watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights, which I had never seen.

...which we never finished. Because Kristyne busted out the Mad Libs.

The night then veered into the weird and awkward-funny territory it often does with us. Kristyne turned on some dance music, and that's when things went weird. We watched SNL for Phoenix (who were really excellent), and then we hung out some more.

The Mad Libs videos will follow. The one of me will make you ill, both because I look gross and because of Kristyne's camera work.