Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Waitaholic: a person who enjoys waiting for end results rather than indulging in instant gratification. Rare. Waitaholics are more than merely patient – they will actively seek out opportunities to wait, and shun those who can’t resist jumping lines.

Example:The book was long-winded and boring, but the waitaholic wouldn’t skip to the end to find out what happened; monotony was part of the experience of reading the book.

Related nonwords: rejourney, zombified

If you’ve seen the xkcd comic Time, that’s a comic made for waitaholics. (It currently updates hourly, each time showing a new frame in an extended comic. As of now there are approximately 650 frames of Time; it began on Monday, March 25th and has not stopped. (Go to http://xkcd.aubronwood.com/ to see the whole sequence.)

Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

All done moving – I think that everything is where it’s supposed to be. I’m all out of boxes to unpack, anyway. I’m pretty impressed that I found room for all of the stuff I brought without filling the new apartment to the brim. I mean, I still have room for books on my bookshelf!

Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

This afternoon was spent moving piles of solid water from one part of the property (driveway) to another (berms beside driveway). I had several inches of thick, wet snow – getting ever thicker and wetter since it was 36 degrees – to deal with. Let’s just say it was the best workout I’ve gotten in a while.

Our sidewalk, post-shovelcise. I’d like to thank the fancy bent-handle shovel, for making things just that much easier.

Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

There is a nonstop boxidemic raging in our basement, but it has recently spread to the main living areas. Containers full of ornaments and holiday doodads have been toted up temporarily to be unpacked, creating an impromptu obstacle course.

I should also note that there is a boxidemic in the garage right now and it is my fault – but it is temporary too (I promise!) and will clear up when I get a new apartment where I can stash it all.

Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Packaholic: a person that enjoys placing belongings into travel bags, esp. someone given to overpacking a suitcase in order to be prepared for every foreseeable clothing scenario.

Example:The average traveler brings three outfits per weekend; the packaholic brings six, which can be combined and rearranged to form a further twenty-one.

Related nonwords: lootcase, desocked

I admit, I can be a packaholic at times. I think it might be related to my tendency to hoard things (it might come in handy someday!) or maybe it’s because of my occasional bouts of super-organization (shirts are currently arranged by color). If I’m going on a long trip, I will make lists of everything I need to pack, and I might spend half a day gathering up everything I think I could possibly need. BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.

Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Fauxquarium: a fake fish tank (physical or digital) which allows for its owner to experience the benefits of owning fish while mitigating many of the negative effects.

Example:Looking at her beautiful fauxquarium was oddly soothing, even though the fish were computer-generated.

Related nonwords: salmoney, waterblogged, bubblesque

It’s weird; I would never own a fish tank in real life, but I tend to like games with “virtual fish tanks” or similar setups. I usually only play the free ones, because I feel a little silly buying virtual food pellets for fish that aren’t actually fish. My two favorites are Insaniquarium Deluxe and Tap Fish, but I’ve sampled some others as well.

When I googled “fauxquarium,” I realized that there are real-world analogues as well – tanks with fake fish that float around and look pretty. These can range from water-using, bubbling aquariums with moving fish models to those revolving lamps. Fish are pretty to look at; however, it seems others share my fear of finding a smelly fishy carcass floating atop month-old sludge because they forgot about Jaws Jr. for a while. Better to have flickers of light on a screen or a lamp that won’t be so disgustingly mortal.

Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.