A Jew, a Muslim and a nigger are walking through the countryside late at night, when they come across a farm. They knock on the door and ask the farmer if he has any rooms that they can use for the night. The farmer informs them that he only has two rooms, but he also has a barn.

The Jew decides he will sleep in the barn. Five minutes later, there is a knock at the farm house door, and the Jew is stood outside.

"I am sorry, but I cannot sleep in that barn. There are pigs in there, and we consider them to be dirty animals. I cannot sleep under the same roof as them"

So the Muslim goes off to sleep in the barn. Five minutes later, there is another knock at the farm house door. The Muslim is stood outside.

"I'm sorry, but there are pigs in the barn, and my religion considers them to be dirty animals, so I cannot sleep under the same roof as them"

Finally, off goes the nigger to sleep in the barn.

Five minutes later, there is a knock on the farm house door. The farmer opens the door and finds all his pigs stood on the doorstep...

A trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, & knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, & she says "Hi, my name is Heather & you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her & proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up & knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.

As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, & you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again & continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. When the light turns green the trucker revs up & races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck,& runs back to the blonde.

He knocks on her window, &after she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Indiana & I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.