2/24/2007

It’s time once again for Fun With Search Engines, the recurring site report where I take a look at some of the keywords that visitors to SydLexia.com typed into search engines. This FWSE report is for the week beginning February 11th and ending February 17th. Don’t get up, because the show is about to begin…

1. shitty street fighter 1 1987 - Basically everything you need to know about Street Fighter I can be found in that search query. Street Fighter was released in 1987. It was really fucking shitty. THE END.

2. kill ultimatefierce - Hey now. UltimateFierce is good people. If you try and kill him, you’ll quickly find yourself up against the entire roster of the SydLexia.com forums. Believe me, you don’t want that. We have this one guy, Murdar Machene, he can maim a man five different ways with a hard-boiled egg.

3. bald chicks - Bald chicks are NOT attractive. Not even Robin Tunney in Empire Records. Not even Natalie Portman in V For Vendetta. And especially not the newly psychotic Britney Spears:

4. birdo porn - This is probably the most disturbing hentai search that I’ve ever seen. I can’t even begin to imagine how socially maladjusted a person would have to be to get off on Birdo porn. You know Birdo, right? The egg-spitting villain from SMB2? It looks like this:

It’s sad to think someone could actually beat off to pictures of this thing getting fucked. Even sadder is the fact that if you turn off SafeSearch and do a Yahoo Image search for Birdo, the second picture is Toad giving it to Birdo up the ass. God, I hate the internet.

5. how much did 1989 batman make - According to IMDB, which is where you would have looked if you weren’t a fucking retard, Tim Burton’s Batman grossed an estimated $413,200,000 USD worldwide. And that’s just the box office take. The movie made an additional $150,500,000 in USA video rentals.

6. the wrld gams - You know what’s cool? VOWELS. You should try using more of them.

7. wwe is scripted - If I had a secretary, I’d tell her to file this under NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. I really wish I had a secretary, that would be awesome. And if she was also a nurse, a licensed teacher, and my friend’s hot mom, I could use her to fulfill just about every stereotypical male fantasy ever.

Well, that was relatively painless. For those of you playing at home, I have successfully posted an FWSE each week for two consecutive weeks. Tune in next week to see I can make it three consecutive weeks or if I’ll fuck off and forget about it.