I have been reading posts about relatives/friends showing up to the wedding without proper attire. I want to add something on my website that addresses that without sounding rude. Any one have a "nice" way to put it?

I can be very blunt, and they all know this. I put on the website:
Dress code: Men: slacks & dress shirt; Women: skirts/dresses encouraged
Note: Bridesmaids will be in dark blue, groomsmen in black suits with blue ties. And Gen's dress is white. (so don't dress like them)

Anyone who would be offended by that isn't invited. So far everyone who's read it has cracked up. A couple guys have replied "oh thank goodness, I know exactly what to wear".

I originally thought we should put "cocktail attire" for our at-home reception. However, NotFroofy reminded me that we know some geeks who probably don't even own suits. So we ended up just putting "party attire." There was quite a bit of variation (several kilts, for example, on men), but people didn't show up in t-shirts and jeans.

For the ceremony, it was less of an issue. Since the venue was a synagogue, people were able to guess that they should wear something appropriate to a church or synagogue.

I wasnt really concerened about this until I read some other people's posts about how guests were dressed...for some people on FH's side I MAY have to flat out say no jeans or tshirts....**sigh**
@latasha- yea I thought people would know what to wear too but now Im not so sure...

I am including a "No Bow Ties" clause in my "Formal Reception to Follow" Note. Lol, I really hate bow ties. The Groomsmen have already been instructed to tell anyone who shows up in one that they have to remove it or they will not be fed. Lol

I don't think you can strictly control what people wear to your wedding (it's their bodies, after all). But you can set some basic parameters. "Festive Attire" or "Dress to Impress" usually tell people to dress up, whereas there are lots of people who hear "semi-formal" and think it means a nice shirt and some jeans (which is actually "smart casual," but why split hairs?).

I'm really not sure what my future in laws will wear. They are the jeans and sweatshirts type. lol Maybe I can say to the mom that I would be willing to go with her to look at some dresses/outfits. Come to think I don't think I have ever seen her in dresses other than in old pictures. Yikes. lol

I just addressed part of this situation this weekend lol. I just called up FMIL and told her of the people on her side of the family (i.e. HER PARENTS. they live in Hawaii lol) that I had "concerns" about their wardrobe.
I asked her to casually adress it in conversation... this is what Grandma and Grandpa were planning to wear...

@Shannon- I agree that I cant control what they wear but I am putting out A LOT of money to make this a formal affair and I think its rude for someone to show up to my formal affair dressed like they are going to the park...thats why I want to emphasize to everyone that jeans and such are not acceptable...in fact the country club where I am having the reception/ceremony dont allow jeans period, and men must have a collared shirt, regardless if they are there for a wedding or not
STB M Allen- I know!!! Your post is one of the ones that got me thinking!! yikes!!!
Ive seen FH's family show up to funerals in jeans and tshirts so thats what freaked me out. I already have adult receptions so that what im trying to word together.."formal adult reception to follow?" does that sound good? it doesnt sound quite right to me

Cris - I was reacting more to the "no bow ties" restriction mentioned by another poster. I would include language on your website that says something like, "We enjoy welcoming you to our formal reception. Due to venue dress codes, collared shirts are required for men and no jeans are permitted."