Coaching can inspire and motivate people to learn, change, and be effective leaders, among other roles in life. Although most attempts are “coaching for compliance” (coaching someone to your wishes or expectations), decades of behavioral and neuroscience research show us that “coaching with compassion” (coaching someone to their dreams and desires) is more effective.

BU

Obtained an in depth perspective on coaching and learned how the Intentional Change Theory is the catalyst for sustainable change.

NB

Oct 29, 2018

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Great course ! a lot of practice and learning ! you just need to be committed and have the time to coach during the course to ge

From the lesson

Week 1: How do people really help others?

The best coaches develop resonant relationships, which involve the experience of hope and compassion and the arousal of meaning. We explore how effective coaches inspire others, and use an approach based on compassion rather than compliance to promote positive, enduring change in their coachees. We then turn to Intentional Change Theory (ICT) as a model of sustained, desired change at all levels of human endeavor; detailing the five discovery phases that comprise ICT. Finally, we explore the Positive and Negative Emotional Attractors (PEA and NEA), their relationship to the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous Systems (SNS and PNS), and how arousal of either of these systems can deferentially lead to either feelings of negativity and fear, or a focus on one's strengths and the excitement of experimenting with something new.

Taught By

Ellen VanOosten, PhD

Melvin Smith

Richard Boyatzis

Distinguished University Professor, and a Professor in the Departments of Organizational Behavior, Psychology, and Cognitive Science

Transcript

[SOUND] Welcome to module three. In the previous module you were introduced to terms known as the positive and negative emotional attractors, or PEA, and NEA for short. In this module, you'll learn more about what those attractors represent, and how the dynamic interplay of these emotional states impacts your coaching. We'll conclude with a reflective exercise as well. First, let's start with the terminology. What exactly are positive and negative emotional attractors? The positive emotional attractor, the PEA, and negative emotional attractor, the NEA, are two states comprised of distinct emotional, psychological, physiological, and neurological characteristics that create a force around your thinking, feeling, and behaviors. From complexity theory, these are two states characterized by three dimensions. Positive versus negative emotional arousal. Hormonal arousal of the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems. And activation of two distinct neural networks. Our main emphasis in this module will be an understanding the PEA and NEA. We'll cover more on the physiological aspects in the upcoming modules. Let's explore the PEA first. The PEA is characterized by varying degrees of positive emotion. Well what's a positive emotion? Positive emotion refers to discrete feelings we experience and often express in response to a pleasant situation or object. For example experiences like the birth of a child, maybe achievement of a long awaited goal, maybe getting a new puppy. All of these experiences many of us can relate to as engendering positive feelings in all of us. Barbara Fredrickson, a renowned researcher in the field of positive psychology and emotions, reports that in her lab, ten of the most frequently mentioned positive emotions include joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love. Positive emotion alone will not induce the PEA state. A persons positive emotion must also be accompanied by the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, and the neuronetwork called the default known network. The parasympathetic nervous system is actually a subset of the automatic nervous system that,pllays a major role in our health and vitality. It includes our rest and digest functions, our immune system, cardiovascular health, and the neuroendocrine system. It also supports our social engagement capability. Now, arousal of the parasympathetic nervous system also arouses the vegas nerve, and consequently triggers the release of a number of important hormones, including oxytocin in women and vasopressin in men. Arousal of positive emotion in the parasympathetic nervous system over periods of time is associated with health benefits and increased well-being in all of us. And studies indicate that being in a PEA state leads to increased cognitive and emotional openness and physical vitality. So there's a growing body of evidence from neuroscience that shows that PEA experiences also activate a very important and distinct neural network called the default mode network. The default mode network is a neural network associated with our social functioning and moral reasoning. Again, more on this in the next module. Now let's examine the NEA a little more closely. In stark contrast to the positive emotional attractor, the NEA is characterized first and foremost by negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, sadness, disgust, despair. It is also characterized by the arousal of a different nervous system called the sympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is associated with our human stress response. And is aroused when we feel that we are in physical danger. It's also arousing when we feel that there's something important about to happen. Maybe that something is very uncertain in our surroundings, and/or that we're being evaluated. Now, what's especially notable is that these events do not actually need to occur to arouse this in us. We can arouse the sympathetic nervous system merely by anticipating one of these conditions. So, anticipating the possibility of being laid-off or being fired. Even anticipating that you're going to be evaluated publicly or by others in the organization. So a whole number of situations can invoke the sympathetic nervous system. So applying this to coaching, a situation in which a coachee is faced with a performance imperative, or where the personal vision he or she is sharing really is anchored in the ought self, almost always arouses a sympathetic nervous system response in the individual. Now the final layer of the NEA is the neurological activation of a different network, this one's called the task positive network. The task positive network, is activated by tasks which require focusing attention, our working memory, logical and mathematical reasoning. The TPN enables us to make decisions and solve problems and focus so it has a very real purpose. Unlike the health benefits associated with positive emotions, prolonged exposure to negative emotion can be harmful to our health and well being. Our vision actually narrows, and our energy becomes depleted when we experience negative emotions over time. We actually closed down emotionally, cognitively, and psychologically. So how is all this relevant to coaching? Well, there's at least two primary reasons we'd like to discuss. The first is that we know that the desired outcome of most coaching engagements is behavior change. And sustained, desired behavior change, on the whole, starts in the PEA. A second reason is that for change to be sustainable more PEA over NEA is required. Enduring change is launched in the first discovery of intentional change theory. When a person spends time discovering their ideal self, discovering their vision and values, for instance. Considering their deepest dreams and aspirations. When a coachee is able to do this, consider values, what gives them purpose, all elements of the ideal self, the parasympathetic nervous system is often engaged, and individuals frequently experience them being in the PEA. Activating the PEA Also includes things like focusing on strengths over weaknesses, considering a learning plan over a performance improvement plan, considering possibilities over problems. And you always know you're in a PEA moment, because you feel excited about trying something new. And you feel energy for being able to experiment and practice something you haven't done before. And the same is true in the people we coach. You can see it in their energy level, even see it on their face and in their eyes when they're in the PEA. Now the NEA can be activated in numerous ways as well. For example, thinking about past or present problems. Dwelling on something that didn't go well or maybe a stressful incident that happened to you this week. Just the mental exercise of considering these things tends to tap into another component of the real self, which is gaps and struggles. And triggers more negative feelings, like fear and anxiety and guilt. One more note about the NEA, though. We often need negative emotions to propel us to action. A way to distinguish between the two is that we really need the NEA to survive. But we need the PEA to thrive. Using a concept from complexity theory, strange attractors were defined by Ed Lawrence as something that pulls other things toward and around them. In our case, what we're pulling is people's behavior, attitudes, and feelings. Once caught in the pull of an attractor, a person's mood, feelings, thoughts, behavior begins to cycle and it cycles within a self-perpetuating loop. So to break out of that loop, it takes some sort of tipping point, an additional experience to move the state into the pull of another attractor. As coaches, we have the opportunity to create that pull. A second way that this is important for coaching though has to do with dosage. For a sustained desired change to occur, we need more doses of PEA than we do NEA. We are constantly moving between these two attractors as this slide shows. However, for sustained desired change to occur, a person must spend significantly more time in the PEA. Research by Fredrickson and other scholars reveal that regardless of the relationship, for example, manager, subordinate, student, teacher, husband and wife, people will flourish when they experience more positive emotions over negative. The exact ratio varies by study, and is often debated. But tends to range between three to six positive, to every negative statement or experience. When this happens, it predicts an increase in cognitive capacity, a greater sense of well being, a deeper sense of purpose, and greater degrees of engagement with family, work, and communities. In essence, spending more time in the PEA enables all of us to bring our best self to the situation. However in reality, 80% of us spend more time in the downward spiral of negativity than what Fredrickson calls the broaden and build mode of positivity. So one explanation is, that studies have shown that negative emotions are stronger than positive. So the pull of negative emotions is much greater than that of positive emotions. We need stress but most of the time we are exposed to just way too much of it. So again, we need the NEA to survive and function and defend ourselves. But we need the PEA to thrive and flourish. The way to move a person into the PEA from the NEA is by facilitating mindfulness, hope, compassion, or playfulness. Coaches can create these important tipping points and guide a person into the PEA state through a number of different ways. For example by framing questions that help the coachee tap into their passion, consider their core values, dream about their future. The coach can also help the coachee by helping them to reconnect to dreams and focus on strengths. These are just a few of the many ways that you as a coach can bring somebody into the PEA more often. Our last item today is a reflect of exercise. To be effective as a coach, you need to recognize your own emotional state, and that of the person you're coaching, and be able to move between the two states smoothly. We know that's not easy. So, to support your own self awareness, we invite you to complete this reflective assignment. Over the next week, track and record your own emotions. Try three times a day, maybe morning, noon and night. And next to each time period in your notes, jot down what was happening at that time and how you are feeling. For instance, feeling very positive, feeling hopeful, feeling very joyful, feeling angry, feeling generally negative, feeling moody, or maybe you're just not sure. Make you sure you take some notes, or write some notes around what it was that was happening at the time, but resist the urge to analyze what was going on. You'll have a chance to do that at the end of the week. So when the week is complete, step back review all of your notes and ask yourself a couple of questions. What patterns do I see in my own positive to negative ratio? If my overall positivity is low, ask yourself, how can you boost it? Also consider, are there relationships that you're in that are prone to negativity. And if so, are there things that you might experiment with and try to infuse more positive emotion with those individuals? We hope this exercise provides you with some insight regarding your own emotional patterns and how they help you or might hinder you in your coaching. This concludes module three. In summary, awareness of the PEA and NEA are two states that influence our thinking, feeling, and behaviours. Remember that sustained desired change starts in the PEA. And for change to stick and be enduring, rather than fleeting, more PEA over NEA is required. Thanks for joining me and we'll see you soon. [MUSIC]

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