re·form: (r-fôrm)
v. re·formed, re·form·ing, re·forms
v. tr.
1. To improve by alteration, correction of error, or removal of defects; put into a better form or condition.
2. To cause (a person) to give up harmful or immoral practices; persuade to adopt a better way of life.
ma·ma or mam·ma also mom·ma: n.
(also m-mä) Informal. Mother.

7.13.2006

I'm So Excited, I Just Can't Hide It

Why? My son's very FIRST birthday is comin' up fast, quick and in a hurry. While I don't want to rush his childhood, this birthday is super special. It means we survived a whole year without me "breaking" him. HA!!!

Seriously. That has got to be every first time mom's fear -- that she will "break" her baby. I thought for sure that I'd screw up majorly SOMEHOW this first year, and while the year hasn't been absolutely perfect by any stretch, my son is still alive and well and so am I.

That last part is the clencher. The first month and a half of Eddie's life he was in the hospital, but I was an emotional mess. I'm surprised that didn't land me in an institution somewhere. Then when he first came home I had not a clue nor a soul who could clue me in any where around me. I don't think I showered often those first few weeks. And that apnea monitor... that THING could cause anyone to have a stroke... goin' off at 3:00 AM while momma's in a dead sleep. Then there was the stress of moving to a "new" state with only a month's notice. And getting here with no medical insurance, thus no way to get the RSV shot, without which, Eddie would surely die. (Yep, rollin' my eyes over that one).

So yes, I am celebrating already (three weeks ahead of time) that we survived this first year without too many hiccups or band-aids. Afterall, it's not like Eddie will even realize it's his birthday and survival seems as good a reason as any to celebrate.

Now to plan THE party of the decade. Well, maybe not THE party, but a little gathering of family to celebrate our survival.