RUSSELL: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Joe! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a couple a high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Joe, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you. JOE: [crying] Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you Russell, that I'm like this! I'm nothin'... I'm nowhere... Get the fuck off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Russell.

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Best Reader Caption For Photo of Russell Pearce Throwin' in the Towel: Andrew Thom Ass

SUCCESS!

Andrew Thom Ass stole the show with the following (compliments of "Brokeback Mountain):

Russell: Tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! Fuckin' real good life! Had us a place of our own. But you didn't want it, Joe! So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy, fuckin' all. So I hope you know that, even if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times we have been together in nearly twenty years and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on - and then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get. You have no idea how bad it gets! I'm not you... I can't make it on a couple a high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me Joe, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.

Joe: [crying] Well, why don't you? Why don't you just let me be? It's because of you Russell, that I'm like this! I'm nothin'... I'm nowhere... Get the fuck off me! I can't stand being like this no more, Russell.

Thanks to everyone who played, and congrats again to Andrew Thom Ass -- to retrieve your grand prize of a firm handshake and a glass of lukewarm Phoenix municipal tap water, come to the New Times Building at 1201 East Jefferson Street in Phoenix. Go to the front desk and ask for James King any time after 1 p.m.