Childhood should be protected zone where innocence is not lost

By Patricia Maurer Trinity School

Published 6:15 am, Tuesday, September 8, 2015

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The word, “nostalgia,” is most certainly a noun. Recently, however, I found myself checking the dictionary just to be sure. Why, you ask? Well, of late, to me, nostalgia just seems to be a verb. I am regularly and actively immersed in sentimental, wistful yearning for the past. Maybe it’s my age, but I’m not sure that’s the complete story. I’ve even gone so far as to ask, ‘Do I like old things and old-fashioned ideas because I am old, or do I like old things and old-fashioned ideas because they were better?” Now, there's a question to ponder.

In October 1989, the LIFE magazine cover story was titled “101 Things Worth Saving.” I kept this issue because the question of what things or ideas have lasting value has always intrigued me. It goes without saying that those things that we value are those things that we will be more likely to protect. I recently reread the article, and buried in the middle between automobile window vents and root beer floats was the word “innocence.” Now, there’s an idea worth revisiting, an idea worth saving, especially when it comes to our children.

Everywhere I go, I am surrounded by children. Using old-fashioned standards, however, some are scarcely recognizable. Many have been literally consumed by a headlong rush to adulthood. Look at their clothes, listen to their speech, check out their interests and preferences and you find mini-grownups. Who in the world, for example, thought that manufacturing high-heeled shoes for girls under the age of 13 was appropriate?

What happened to saddle oxfords, one-piece bathing suits, modest shorts and skirts, cap sleeves in lieu of spaghetti straps and covered midriffs? When did our children become walking advertisements for the latest Disney enterprise, PG13 movie, or even rock star? With sparkles from head to toe and even make-up made “especially” for children, their childhood has been served up on a platter of tasteless marketing. Can you tell I am passionate about this idea? And, the outward trappings are just the beginning of the story.

We need to say, “Enough!” It’s time to build a wall and close the door to the adult world long enough for our children to develop the reasoning skills necessary to make discriminating choices. Without those skills securely in place, and without sufficient moral instruction to support them, children do not have the ability to determine what is good and what is not good. “Childhood” needs to be a protected zone where children have time to mature, time to learn, time to become the people that they were intended to be and not just a cheap copy of someone else’s image.

In order to accomplish this objective, we need to accept the fact that there are some things that children just should not know, just should not wear, just should not have, and just should not see. One adult-themed movie may be one too many. One adult-themed television episode may be one too many. One X-rated bumper sticker or T-shirt may be one too many. One violent video game may be one too many. One explicit magazine cover may be one too many. Even one graphic television newscast may be one too many. Once the door is opened, it can never be closed again. Time and again, I hear people say, “Oh, it is not that bad!” I don’t agree. Innocence lost is very bad.

Many young children have a difficult time separating reality from fiction. They see things in a fictionalized format and they sometimes fast-forward the story and worry about something similar happening in their own lives. As an example, desensitized to violence and the horrors of war by exposure in film, newscasts and video games, many children have come to think that killing people is somehow a normal part of everyday life. There is nothing normal about war, or murder, or violence or mayhem of any kind. I have to admit that

I have not always drawn the line as clearly as I should have in my own household, both with my now-grown children, and even with my grandson. If a child absolutely loves dinosaurs, the lure of that movie is very seductive, and saying “no” can become a battleground if you’re not careful. The argument that “everyone else has seen it” can cause even the most stalwart of parents to question whether or not they are being overprotective. Check out www.kids-in-mind.org, and you can preview the eight documented acts of gore and violence included in the latest version. Mayhem is a mild word to describe the intensity of the film.

I do not think we should keep our children in a bubble, but there is more than one kind of safety to consider. I’d never let a child ride in my car without a seat belt, pedal down the street on a bike without a helmet, swim without supervision, or play in traffic. I’d venture to guess anyone reading this article would agree with those statements. However, while boundaries related to physical safety are easy to see, boundaries related to psychological safety and emotional well-being can be muddied when the line between childhood and adulthood is blurred. PG-13 is PG-13, and Rated R is off limits.

I recently came across a lovely picture book, one I recommend to anyone who loves children: “What Do You Do with an Idea?” written by Kobi Yamado and illustrated by Mae Besom. The last line of the book literally took my breath away. Having wrestled with the question throughout the story, the little boy says, “And then I realized what you do with an idea… You change the world.”

I’ve met a lot of ideas in my lifetime, and the one I’ve been talking about today has the potential to change the world as we know it and to make it a better place through that change. It’s an old-fashioned idea, the idea of innocence, but it’s a powerful idea. Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “freedom from guilt or sin as a result of being unacquainted with evil.” I hope to live long enough to see a renewed commitment in our homes, in our community and in our nation to the idea of protecting the innocence of childhood. Old-fashioned, maybe, but it is also a very good thing.

Patricia Maurer is head of preschool and lower school at Trinity School.