Friday, March 30, 2012

Braves will win the division because slow ans steady wins the race. They are the most consistent team in the division. Baseball is a marathon like my cock.

WHOOOOAAA sometimes I get a good feeling. Remember the Braves collpase last year? Man that was sa-wheat.

This cabin in the woods movie is a sick idea.

Marlins are the favorites right? Yeah fuck Jose Reyes I hope he gets Domincan Aids. Have you seen the bullpen? Hope the plan is to score 10 runs a game because the bullpen blows. Guillen is gonna throw this team under the bus bvecause expectations are high and spanish people dont deal with pressure very well. That's why they fry everything. It;s the easy way out.

Phillies got a sick pitching staff again. But who fears this lineup? Howard is hurt since October what a fucking fag and Utley is a bitch ass. Rollins is gonna carry this team? Victorino is not a guy who can carry the load. LOAD. THE LOAD. Ha. Fuck Philly. No playoffs.

The Nats are all right kid. Got some young talent. Looking like the AVN New Starlet category. Young bitties. Pretty lil bitties. Tony the Tiger, The Honey Nut Cheerio Bee, Honey Smacks Frog. You have to fuck one, marry one and kill one. Go,

The Mets will be last. They are now the Orioles of this division for a few years. Hopefully Johan has a good May/June so he can be shipped off a la Beltran for a hot prospect. That would be suite. I like Ike. I like Duda. I like an empty Citi-Field. SHAKE SHACK.

Miley Cyrus is a trashbag. Her vagina probably taste like cigarettes and Wal-Mart.

So that's that. I find that when shoot a lil whiskey in between every 2 beers you get lifted nice.

NL Central

Lets go with the REDS just to piss Keef off. Then the Pirats. AJ Burnett is a beast in the NL central kid. It would be hot if he pitches with am eye patch. Fucking Jim Abbot pitched with no hand you telling me he cant pitch with an eye patch. Grow some peaches.

Then lets pick the Cardinals and then the Brewers. Then the Astros then the Cubs. The REDS is a racist name. I think it means burnt Indian. Which is pretty bad. Speaking of Indians does Kod eat alot of Maize? Cuz i like corn. So that would be cool. Maize in the bunker? Check.

HAHAHAHA The Cubs. You know that game Will It Blend? No? Google it. They should see if the Cubs will blend. HHHAAAA. Fucking Cubs. It's been what 119 years? But whos counting.

NL West

Are the Astros in the west yet? They will win division if they are. If not let's go with the Giants. Because they have some offense finally. And they will have the kid part 2 back in Posey. RIP Gary Carter you and those curls will forever be missed.

Magic Aids owns the Dodgers now so every Dodger dog you order comes with some HIV.

DBAGS take a step back because last year was a fucking mirage.

Padres suck they let everyone go and no one wants to play there even thought the weather is perfect everyday.

Playoffs

Braves over Reds
Giants over Dodgers (Wild Card)
Did I do that right? This beer is so delicious right now.

Long story short the Giants will win a boring ass NLCS to face Keef;s AL pennant winner. And LOV once again delivers a solid fucking preview. Knowing keef it will be the Yankees he is always on their jock.

Doritos Locos Tacos sounds so fucking good right now I just saw the commercial and I want one. Like bad. This Dr. Pepper commercial is mad gay. Fucking Gays.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

If I see a car or truck that has a lot of bumper stickers on them, I generally think I wouldn't like the person driving it. I tend to think they would be overly opinionated about everything. They would probably be the type to have a strong opinion on something with no real basis for their opinion but a clever bumper sticker they bought in a store.

I haven't heard one person say, "Hey, this timeline thing on Facebook is awesome!", and mean it.

Crazy things that chicks do #1476: fmjug doesn't like to eat dessert unless I have something too. Two days ago we were at a deli that had free soft serve ice cream. She wanted some, I didn't...so I got the normal "Fine.". So I went up there and got both of us one, I gave one to her and took one bite of mine. After she was done, she noticed I only took one bite and I got crap for "eating it sarcastically". Apparently I can't do anything without being a little sarcastic at the very least. Yeah!

I saw a guy with the last name of Zimmerman at work yesterday, and my inner Spike Lee wanted to harass him, but I harassed an elderly couple instead.

Weekend plans: Softball tonight. Tomorrow night I'm going here for this with fmjug. I'm working this weekend, and may go out Saturday night for a friend's birthday.

"You look like someone put a bright-red fright wig on a skeleton and chucked it out of a helicopter," Ferrell told O'Brien.

I support an Anchorman sequal. The first time I saw Anchorman a group of us were hanging out and drinking and watching it on DVD. It took us nearly 5 hours to get through it because we kept rewinding it so many times! I swear we had all the money Anchorman quotes down after that one, marathon viewing.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Today is technically opening day for MLB. Granted the games are in Japan, and somebody already won, but a new season has arrived.

There is a skunkpatch article, not sure if it's been linked, about the recruiting process of Peyton Manning. I usually don't like sp, but it's a pretty fascinating piece, with a ton of inside details. It'll be in next week's magazine, but the great thing about the internet is we can all read it here.

Women's final four is set. All the number 1s made it. The games last night weren't even close, 30 pt wins in the elite 8 sounds like garbage to me.

This time next week, i'll be getting on a commercial jet to fly to Hawaii. Gonna spend the week helping my pops remodel a condo they recently bought in Kauai. I get to use it as much as I want, so I know where i'm going to be vacationing every fall and spring. (except flights are like $700 a piece)

I hate auditors, their existence alone makes me want to puke.

Yahoo league draft is tonight...oh wait, no we don't have a yahoo league. Fuckers.

I'll make a yahoo league and we can make it a money league. $20/entry winner takes all. All I need it 7 or 9 more guys...whose with me?

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I think I am too fat to wear these fitted dress shirts. I need to drop some weight. I didn't do anything at all this winter as far as athletics go. No indoor volleyball, no football, nothing. I need to get my butt in softball shape. Which isn't even shape at all. That's how out of shape I am, I need to workout just to get in shape for beer league softball. I think if I actually try I'll be OK, but the trying thing just doesn't sound fun.

So, the parking lot attendant at work died unexpectedly. Everyone is sad. Except really me. I did not care for her. She was mean. It's not that I wished she was dead, but I am totally OK with her not working there. I feel bad for feeling good about it, but I'm starting to rationalize it better. I didn't want her dead, I never wished she would die, but she did and now the parking lot people are nicer.

tOSU fans are pretty excited for this weekend, that usually means a major letdown. Pretty much everyone in town expects a win. Kansas won before at Kansas, but Sullinger didn't play. This time it will be different. Or at least that is the thought. I think it will depend on if Craft can defend that guard Kansas has. Craft is really quick side to side, but if you get around him then he is easy to blow by. He would run a side to side 40 really fast, but a straight on or backwards 40, not so fast my friend. If he can keep the Kansas guard in front of him and stay out of foul trouble then I like tOSU's chances. Having said that, Kansas will win because all tOSU fans think they have the game in the bag. Kentucky will win too because they are just lots better than Louisville. By the by, Louisville must be pronounced like you have a bag of marbles in your mouth.

Cmtem and I are 24 days away from the closing on the new house. We bought some furniture. Shit is expensive. We bought some rugs, fucking rugs are redonk. Even Target rugs were expensive. We need to buy some Target bar stools. I like the ones with backs.

Hmm....maybe I should eat breakfast and go to work.

I have a cold. I'll be in Vegas on saturday and sunday. Leave Columbus 11am on saturday return 4pm on monday. Cmtem and I are going to go watch the ACM awards. I'll wear my boots.

Monday, March 26, 2012

I was watching some collitch bball this weekend. One thing I noticed is that refs still count using their arm when a guy is bringing the ball up from the back court. I don't understand that. I know why they did it back in the day, but nowadays you've got the shot clock at bolth ends of the court. Do we really need the refs doing "one Mississippi, two Mississippi" with their arms while walking up court with the ball handler? I'm not a scientist, but I would bet that the shot clock is more accurate than a dude counting in his head while trying to focus on the game in front of him.

The Final Four match ups are pretty good. Both are rematches from games earlier this season. OSU played at KU without Foullinger* earlier and lost a close game. Hopefully he can stay out of foul trouble on Saturday. UK is so redonk. Calipari is amazing. I don't know if he's cheating like he has everywhere else, he probably is, but the talent he recruits is amazing. To lose what he's lost the last 2 seasons from guys leaving early, and getting this team of basically all freshman and sophomores to blow everyone out really is something something.

Tiger won this weekend. Don't know if you heard. Mize was thrilled. I say whoopty doo. Don't get me wrong, when Tiger is in contention, and when he wins, it's good for golf. I get it. But winning 1 tourney doesn't mean he's back. He won 1 tourney, for the first time since 2009. And it was at a course that he had won at 6 times before. He's probably played that course 250 times in his life. If he wins the FedEx Cup this year, then I'll say he's back. But this was 1 win.

Draw Something is drawsome.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love having a kid? It's the best thing in the world. NS

I think my favorite country song ever is either The Gambler or The Rodeo Song. What's yours?

Friday, March 23, 2012

I dont know what kony is and i refuse to look it up. Someone told me it was about Uganda which is perfect because I dont give a fuck about Uganda. I give a fuck about USA! USA! USA! and Europe. Because that shit is global now.

Wait Punk'd is back? With Kutcher?

Couch.

If I can be a reptile I'd be iguana.

Mich St. got pounded that was a surprise. Bo Ryan doesnt coach last minute plays? They shot the three ball pretty good. Pretty fucking good. My bracket is a mess like your face. This ohio vs ohio game is suuiiiite right now.

HOPPER! DA HOPPER. HOPPER!

Sidetable.

I love pizza. I love pizza so much that I'd probably live in the NYC metro area my whole life. And I know there is good pizza out there but as far as everyday pizza, cmon son. I need new sunglasses.

I think I;d take RG!!! over Luck. He needs to bulk up though I mean cuz he's gonna take some shots in the NFL.

What is with shit I used to own growing up making a comeback and costing triple the money. Like sneakers. Can you believe kids are rocking snap back hats? SNAP BACKS!!!! They were frowned upon when fitted's got popular. They were shunned. Nothing was better than a fresh 59/50 hat.

Happy Easter.

Pizza rustica what
leg of lamb what

Laundrymat does dry cleaning now too. I ask what prioce she says everting is tree dollar

shirt? tree dollar
pant? tree dollar
jacket? tree dollar

excellent price points

Do you have cut rate insurance? If you do mayehm will find you. And it will take you down.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I thought Blue was going to have more to say about the Manning signing yesterday, but I look forward to a season full of anti Manning reports from blue on cmblue...should be fun.

Saints...OUCH! Does thos affect the Drew Brees signing? Probably not...maybe he gets more since that are saving all that money on salary (S). I still think the GM suspension for games is funny. He still gets to work the draft from what I understand, so he just loses salary.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I haven't paid much attention to anything that's been going on. I guess Tebow is not going to be the starter going into training camp. You're a liar John Elway.

Lots of crazy tebowmaniacs still out there calling into shows and telling everyone how the broncos made a horrible decision. Look, i like Tebow, i feel bad for the guy, but if you don't get why the broncos did this, then you don't get to watch football anymore.

cmblue hates Peyton Manning, she's now telling me I have to sell my broncos season tickets. She has threatened to throw away my kids broncos jerseys, she's a little extreme.

Either way it should be an interesting fall in the blue household.

That's about all I have, some crappy basketball is being played in parts unknown and will finish with a championship in Denver...freak must be pumped.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Lots of fun was had in Vegas. Cmtem finished up big so that was nice. We can use the money to buy stuff for the house we are going to buy...or we could use it to buy a purse, perfume and shoes from Michael Kors. I guess we picked the latter. Actually those three items only cost enough to sustain meiz for 3 months and she finished up 10 months, so 7 meiz months goes towards house stuff. Much better than me, I finished down about 100.

So I guess the smoky casinos gave me a sinus infection. It sucks. I don't get it though. My dad smokes like a chimney, I figured my body would be used to smoke. Granted I haven'tregularly been around smoke for about 15 years, but for the first 18 years of my life I basically lived surrounded by smoke. My body should know how to deal with the stuff. Dumb body.

I'm sure we all saw how Manning picked the Broncos. I don't get it. Blue says they have a good O-line but their skill players aren't that great, are they? I still think Arizona or Houston would have been better. I guess it came down to which coach would let Peyton do whatever he wanted to do. And poor Tebow. Have the Pontius Pilate jokes started yet? Is Manning going to hell now for taking Tejus' job? I hope ESPN covers Tebow's destination like they covered Manning's. I want 24/7 coverage. I hope he goes to Pittsburgh. Yep, he can be pals with Big Ben and they can film a sitcom together.

It was warmer in Ohio than in Vegas.

When is the next UFC stuff? I have a feeling I either missed one or that we are due for one here shortly.

I wrote this on my phone again. I'm not going to fix anything autocorrect fucked up.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Went to My Big Fat Greek Restaurant on Saturday night with cmk. Love that place because it's authentic. It's like OG for Greeks.

We also saw some movie called Friends With Kids. I had nerve heard of it before Saturday. It was funny though. It has the dude who played Will Ferrell's brother in Stepbrothers, so that's all I thought of pretty much the whole movie.

Goddman FSU. I wish TP would of* warned me earlier about them.

It's like 40° here right now. And raining. Sucks for the people who come here for spring training to see nice weather. But fuck those people. There* all old anyway. Maybe they'll die.

Friday, March 16, 2012

I have a FINRA exam tomorrow so no drinking tonight. Well maybe a little but not as much as I usually do for a thursday. Don't worry this post will still be as stupendous as always. Not.

Alot ot of sports happened. Between NCAA's going on and the NBA trading and NFL free agency and spring training it's pretty good to be men. Also freak went parasailing.

I better fucking pass this test.

Catering hall work picking back up. Bitches dont get married in winter I guess. Winter gets a bad rap. Spring is my least favorite season because it rains. April showers bring May flowers. Fall is my favorite. COLOV. If I lived in Arizona I wouldn't have a favorite season because they don't exist.

I fed my son chicken and waffles last night. In other news I'm changing his name to Roscoe Jenkins.

Fucking Blues Clues guy is a faggot. Both of them.

Got a 30th brthday bash to attend Saturday, gonna be HDH.

There is another show that is not that embarrassing to me about Brooklyn, this guy does a pizza tour (only 2 stops though) but goes around in a bus talking about the history of the borough and eats at two fantastic pizzerias. It's sort of entertaining and very stereotypical. It's not on a bitch channel.

Orlando is pumped. I have alot of catching up to do been off the grid studying. Very strange feeling reading a book and all.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What a great week for sports after having nothing going on for the last few weeks.

Free Agency started yesterday, apparently the Redskins are going to sign like 30 wide recievers. Pierre Garcon, Eddie Royal, and Josh Morgan to go with Santana Moss and Jabar Gaffney, Chris Cooley and Fred Davis. Shanny is inventing a new 7 receiver offense.

So Reggie Wayne is staying in Indy huh? Well that's interesting. Vincent Jackson getting a shitload of money from the bucs. Brandon Marshall traded, but then it comes out he got into another fight at a bar..surprise surprise...probably why Miami was so quick to deal him.

By the way, the NCAA tourney starts tomorrow. "no, it started yesterday /keith". Shut up, it starts tomorrow. Granted it sounded like there were a couple of good games yesterday, i don't even know if they were on TV. And where is Dayton anyway.

Saw something i'd never seen before, yesterday at the gym a guy (he was italian) was tucking his dress shirt into his tighty whities, on purpose. Maybe this is a new thing so you don't have shirt lines or something, maybe EP knows. I mean, the tails of the shirt were all sticking out through the leg holes and stuff, and he was doing it on purpose. What the hell?

I try and not pay attention to people in the lockerroom at the gym. (that guy was unavoidable), so I hate the "idle chit chat" guy. You know who i'm talking about, the old man standing there half naked who wants to know how your day is, where you work, what your stock portfolio looks like...etc. I hate that guy, I hate it when I hear him talking to other guys.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Whoyada I think is el padian for who do ya. It's like whatta. Anyway sorry to burst Kentucky's bubble but tem is picking them to win it All. So yeah, they have no chance. The temjinx is in full effect. My sleeper is memphis, I have them going far. Sorry Memphis. Also sorry belmont.

So Moss to the Niners? I am sure Alex Smith and him will get along.

Tem and Cmtem put an offer in on a house. How fun. Moving sucks, but I'm sure we'll make a ton of money off of selling our condo. HUGE S. I'll be SAS if we sell it for anything equal to or more than what we owe.

Knicks suck now? So is NYC turning on Lin or Melo? Gotta be Melo they turn on right? Maybe Amare becomes the scapegoat.

Monday, March 12, 2012

The NCAA tourney starts this week. Not sure if you heard about it. I made a Y! bracket challenge. League ID: 57439Password: tits

It's weird that one of the play-in games is for the #14 seed instead of the 16 seed. That doesn't make sense to me. I'm gonna pick Iona and Western Kentucky to win the 2 play-in games. I haven't filed out 1 bracket yet, though. Usually I have at least 5 done by now. Speaking of that, I remember this time of year from when I was in hike school. We didn't have Internet yet, obviously. But I would watch the tournament selection show and I had my book of graphing paper that I had for geography. I probably made at least 10 brackets each year and filled them all out that night. On a related note, I didn't have a girlfriend.

Tiger got hurt and had to quit yesterday. Wussbag. /jug

Sucks that he's not on PEDs anymore. He was a bad motherfucker when he was taking performance enhancers. I have no doubt in my mind that he was using something illegal during his run. I know some of you will be all "dude it's golf". But they're called performance enhancers. They're not catching enhancers or throwing enhancers or tackling enhancers or running enhancers. He could use them to help his body recover after a tournament instead of breaking down like it is now. I realize he's older now, but he's only, what, 35 or 36. It's not like he's 50. Moral of the story is use PEDs, kids.

I think we're going to end up getting a CR-V. I don't want to jinx it, though. But they offered a grate* deal to us on Friday and taking our Tiguan as a trade. And cmk test drove one yesterday and liked it. So hopefully that deal will get done today. Then we're going to try and see if they'll take our Jetta as a trade in to buy a used Accord.

I'm off today and tomorrow. The babysitter is on vacation this week so I took M-Tu off and cmk is taking a couple days off. I know you care.

Friday, March 09, 2012

i hate those small pins in the new shirts are those really necessary i mean cmon man

you know who is probably an asshole? Michael Buble. I wanna punch his face.

cmep was NOT amused by the OG Bud 40 oz in the fridge.

she'll get over it its just beer god its not like im banging lines of coke over here ya know

i used to be that kid that never wanted to shit away from his house but now i;ll shit anywhere
i still dont like to shit at work but i have to AND i wont shit in a gas station or anything like that
i like to shit in hotels
reading some sort of hotel advertisement preferably

remember highlights? i remember them from the dentist
man i hate the dentist

this is the last big east tourney for cuze$?
they should just lose so they can rest for tourney obviosuly they'll be a one seed

im gonna so not have sex after this post

when ever im having a bad day i think of Halle Berry's tits in Swordfish
then my day gets better

there is some show about brooklyn bitches bein bitches and shit and the show is on some bitxh network but the title on the show is brooklyn 11223 which is my zip code
so embarrassing

Thursday, March 08, 2012

With all the Peyeton coverage yesterday, I did hear two cool stories about him. Dungy told the first one...when the Colts drafted Anthony Gonzales he was still in school when they started their OTAs, so Peyton would drive out to tOSU 7 hours round trip, twice a week, to throw with him for 90 minutes to make sure they were ready for training camp. Second story...Chris Myers' 19 year old son was killed in a car wreck Feb 16th. In the middle of all the Manning craziness in Indy, Peyton took the time to send the Myer's family a hand written letter of condolances. Good presser yesterday, classy guy...he'll do well.

About half of the teams in the NFL have been thrown around as possible destinations for Manning. I'm with tem...San Fran makes the most sense. Too bad Alex Smith has his best year and Manning comes along, but I think they have to make that move. According to sources, 12 teams have contacting Peyton's reps.

Weekend plans: fmjug is standing up in her friend's wedding this weekend. Rehersal dinner tomorrow night, wedding and reception Saturday night. Reception is alcohol free...a flask may be involved. The wedding and reception are both at a church though.

Canseco is doping in the Mexican league...hilarity. Jake Taylor couldn't cut it in the Mexican league.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

It is that time of the year again. That's right, time for my annual Big East Tourney post. After tirelessly watching 3 or 4 games during the year I feel pretty confident this time around. One problem though is that I don't know the brackets. I'm on my phone too so there is no alt tabing to see what they are. I know these things will happen though. WVU will win once, at most, then lose. Really they are an NIT team this year, Huggins must have naked pictures of that Lunardi guy or something because even after they lost 8 of 10 Lunardi still had them in the field.

I also think St. Johns will do well (ed note: or not) and South Florida won't. Syracuse will win it and Pitt won't. Pitt will win 1 game though. Uconn will play pretty well, but not as well as Notre Dame will play. Georgetown will lose a game that they should win.

So did anything else happen lately? Seems like sports are in a lull. NBA doesn't seem to carry the weight it did last year. My theory is that it is too many games in a short time so all of the little stories are getting glossed over. I always know whether or not LeBron took the last shot of a game, but I have no idea how Rubio is doing now. I like my NBA in small doses, like maybe each team could play twice a month . I might care more then. That is why the NFL is so awesome. I have a whole week to catch up on the stories. By the time the next Sunday rolls around I am all caught up.

So I think they should make Betty White posters like they do for Chuck Norris. I think people would buy those. I think each of us should think of a Betty White joke for the poster. TJokes can distribute them and of course not pay taxes.

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Does anyone ever have the grocery bagged put your milk in a bag? They ask that every time I'm at the store and I never get it bagged. I've never seen it get bagged by anyone. The handles on the gallon carton are there to serve a purpose. I also boat* laundry detergent at the store yesterday, and that also has a handle, but they didn't ask me if I wanted it bagged. Milk is getting a bum rap. Baggers need to realize milk can stand up for itself and don't need a bag.

Is anyone watching this season's Celebrity Apprentice? Lou Ferrigno needs to grow some thicker skin. I mean, he was the Incredible Hulk for crissakes. But anytime someone gives him any type of criticism, he looks like he's going to fucking pound that person. And if he says "dai dalways div one hundwed and ten perdent", I'm going to lose it.

Question for the class. Everyone gets all up in arms because people make Asian comments about Jeremy Lin, there was some promo thing that use pd Lin & a fortune cookie, and people go crazy about it. But the NBA celebrates Latino heritage by adding "El" or "Los" to the front of a jersey, and noone says anything? It seems like the same type of stereotyping to me. Either way, it makes me laugh.

First child drowning in Phoenix happened yesteay. Last year there were 81 drownings. It's so fucking sad. I really don't get how that could happen. Watch you kids, parents. It's that easy. The one yesterday, it looked like there were at least 10 people in the house. How does noone see a 1 year old crawl out into the back yard and into the pool?

Mormons are taking over the world, y'all. I noticed it here in the PHX about 10-11 years ago. Numerous places that I've worked have a high number of Mormons. And it was no secret in either place that if you were Mormon, you had a better chance of moving up in the company. UoP was one of those places. I even think there was a lawsuit about it. Google it. Never mind, I just did.

Friday, March 02, 2012

did jonah hill and his creepy hair/face combo think he was gonna really win an ocscah*?
he puked on emma stone recall?

this blogger situation has me tight
told you i lose my shit over small stuff

who likes surprise parties? no one would catch me im too ninja

kids are hilarious but evil, thing is kids have no remorse. no empathy
they dont have that experience that says shit i know what it like to get punched in the neck so ima do it to this kid cuz he wont give me back those crayons

this is why i beat my kids

s

im so drunk right now its aweosme im gonna stay up and wach skinemax, it's not porn
what what

sorry jesus
im a weak man

boobs are great

if i was drving on the autobahn id want to drive a porsche
such a douchey car i know sorry

i have some classes to sit through to take some industry test in 2 weeks
i should probably focus on that ans pass it

last time i tried to take a test like this the night before i was at game 6 of nlcs, beltran homered in the 7th i think to take the lead, it was grate, i was eating peanuts and putting the shells in the guys hood in front of me, he was from conneticut
asshole
i was hammered that night, ate three dirty water dogs outside the 7 train then took the train 2 stops and hailed a 50 cab home
good times

im sno in for the next summit but only if keef is in
we will probably slapbox

Thursday, March 01, 2012

I found the story that Tiger thought he was going to be a Seal instead of golfing funny. You don't just "be" a Seal. There is a few months (up to 30) of training, and the BUDs training has around a 90% drop off rate. If you have the Military channel, check out the special on Seal BUDs training...good stuff. Tiger would find the training to be wildly inconvenient and end up ringing the bell.