2007-04-16

The FOXNews report of the incident as of this moment is available here.

First off, I stated this around 2pm MST this afternoon, so it may turn out to be false, but I strongly suspect that when it becomes known who the shooter [shooters? -ed] was, it will not turn out to be a Julian (or a Richard or a Randy or a Jim or a Corey or a Trevor)(†), but rather a Mohammed or a Yousef or a Ahmed. (An aside, at press conference an hour ago the local police chief said that one of the shooters has a goatee, which lends some support to my theory).

Secondly, for those who wish to make political hay about this incident, I'm afraid you're out of luck: timing has worked cruelly against you. It was, after all, only a week ago that a Calgary boy was arrested after planning a school attack on the anniversary of Columbine‡: he had access to an assault rifle. For those not paying attention, that gun is heavily restricted in Canada...and see how far ahead that has gotten us. If you really want an enlightened observation, note that these attacks always happen on campuses full of weenies. Nobody ever goes on a shooting rampage at a pulp mill or an oil derrick.

† For American readers unsure what the hell I'm talking about, visit this page

‡ The good news about this Calgary shooting is the news that the kid actually had not heard about Columbine until he learned about it in school. Well, by good news, I mean that kids are actually learning things in public schools these days, which comes as the biggest shock of the entire incident.

Update, 7:51pm: The Drudge Report says now that reports show the gunman was a Chinaman in the U.S. on a visa. If true, I had the right idea, wrong continent. Still puts me ahead of most bloggers... (the most "progressive" of them, you might say).