Suspended disbelief

I am living in a state of suspended disbelief. The world around me is no longer driven by the wants and needs of my body and soul, but those of the people around me who are all barely registering on the functioning chart. We’ve rushed repeatedly at the call, believing once again “this was it” only to find out that it was a false alarm.

I am convinced that the eventual final twilight will be surreal and unbelievable for all the cries of ‘wolf’ by the shepherd boy. That there is none among my circle who want to be wrong on that front, the race between places continues while no one plans too much, just in case. It has been over two and a half years now of this and I’m tired. This is not living. This is a state of limbo that has wiped out dreams and adventures, vacations and opportunities. Perhaps one day it will be more again. For now, it is not.