knitting adventures with elvis the cat

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Happy belated Halloween! I usually go all out on Halloween - crazy costume and lots of decorations, but this year, things have been really busy so Halloween snuck up on me with no warning. I did manage to put up a few decorations and went to a party at the Museum of Natural Science, but Halloween this year was low-key.

Last night was super fun - went to a murder mystery dinner party set in the 1920's. Great costumes, good food & drinks, and fun converstation - fantastic time. Here's a pic of the cloche hat I turbo-knit in two days for the party. I thought it turned out really cute, so I'll be wearing it all season. Here's the pattern. I used Cascade 220 - best yarn for felting in my opinion.

Did I mention I finished my first 5k run last weekend? I did the Livestrong Challenge in Austin. Overall, it was a great first run, even though I was pretty slow at about a 13 min mile, but hey, I did it. I'm already signed up for two more 5ks between now and February, so I'm excited about kicking it up and getting faster. I really love running. Yes, it's really really hard, but I feel so great after I run. I feel energized and happy, and definitely powerful. It's a good thing. I think it's starting to become an addiction.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

I just got home from the Western Regionals roller derby tournament, hosted here in downtown Houston. I don't often get the chance to watch good derby (since I'm usually skating or working the game), so this was a real treat to see so many awesome teams from the western US skate their asses off. I'm feeling a bit inspired to start busting my ass and really step up my training efforts to get in better shape for next season.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Suddenly I have that song "Coming Out of the Dark" stuck in my head. Perhaps I'm about to have a breakthrough. Things have been a bit scary for me for the last couple of months. I've been going through anti-depressant withdrawal from Cymbalta. Let me start out by saying that I'm sure Cymbalta works for some people, but I personally think that it was manufactured in Satan's Sweatshop. Withdrawing from Cymbalta has been pure hell. Hell! I kid you not.

To give you some background, I started taking Cymbalta about a year and a half ago for some anxiety issues. Basically, I was having my 30-year old existential crisis, and I was mourning my 20-year old immortality. It sucked. Hard. So to deal with constant gripping fears of death, I started seeing a therapist who then recommended that I see a doctor about getting on some meds to help deal with my "issues." Right away, I started popping Satan's pills, and I did start feeling a bit better. I was finally able to sleep at home without panicking about my brutal, bloody, untimely demise when the serial killer, whom I was certain was lurking outside my bedroom window, busted through the door and stabbed me in the eye with a screwdriver. Horrific, yes, I think so.

Things seem to be going along nicely for a while, and then I missed my daily Cymbalta dose by a few hours and all hell broke loose. My head felt like it was being electrocuted, and I had the strange senstation that I could hear my eyes moving around in my head. It was messed up. So, I started thinking, what is this medicine doing to my brain that could cause such a reaction? I consulted the Internets for answers and discovered that Cymbalta is not something you wanna play around with. This medicine is hardcore and I'm now convinced that if I had taken it longer, my health would have been in serious jeopardy.

About three months ago, I made the decision to wean myself off of Satan's teat. I made a plan with my doctor, who by the way, had no clue about the horrors of Cymbalta and how difficult the withdrawal is. I really don't think he much had a clue about anything, but that's another story. I relied on the advice of others' posts on www.cymbaltawithdrawal.com. I slowly decreased my dosage two weeks at a time until I was finally off. Shazam! Brain goes nutso.

The first few weeks of no-cymbalta was evil. I felt extremely dizzy, nauseous, and tired. It was hard to function, and near impossible to skate at derby practice. Imagine being dizzy and then strapping eight wheels to your feet, and then take a hip-check from a derby girl. Not a good combination. So I had to sit out of derby for a while. Now, I'm finally physically feeling well enough to go about my routine, but my emotional self is still having issues.

I cannot seem to stop crying. Management of my emotions has become seriously impaired. I will cry if I'm out of milk or pickles. I cry if I read or hear about something awful in the news. I cry if I'm angry or afraid or frustrated or happy or anything. I have become highly sensitive. My emotional regulator is busted. Almost any kind of stressor seems to overwhelm me. Ughh...it sucks.

And it's not just hard on me. It's really hard on the people closest to me too. My boyfriend has been very supportive, but I know it's not easy for him. I'm sure he misses the "real me", the one who isn't borderline cuckoo pants. I just keep telling myself that this is temporary and will pass. I have declared war on Cymbalta and refuse to lose.

So what have I learned from this ordeal? First, just because a doctor says you should take a medication doesn't necessarily mean you should. There are other ways to deal with anxiety, and I only wish I would have tried other alternatives (diet, yoga, meditation, supplements, etc.) before taking Cymbalta. Second, I am responsible for my health. This is really a no-brainer, but I think too many people rely on what their doctors say as solid gold information. It's important to do your own research and educate yourself about your health. Your doctor is only riding in the car - you are the driver. And third, shitty things happen. Life is really hard, and you have to learn as you go. I do not, and will not, ever have it all figured out, whatever it is.

Going forward, I am incorporating some healthy practices into my life. I'm taking a meditation class to learn how to deal with my stress. I'm making exercise a priority. I'm being attentive to how different foods make me feel. Big healthy salad = good times; donuts = go straight to bed and don't talk to anyone on the way. I'm also taking steps forward to explore what I want to do with my career, but that's a whole other post for another day. For now, I'm just focusing on taking it one day at a time, and trusting that it will all work out.

P.S. Knitting has been a lifesaver! I think there is some real truth to the whole knitting as meditation philosophy.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

My knitting habit comes in waves. I can go months without picking up needles, and then all of the sudden, I can't stop knitting. Lately, I'm a knitting machine. I finished my camo legwarmers (sorry no finished pics), and I also finished these lovely baby bibs (pattern from One Skein).

I'm working on some socks now. I bought some gorgeous yarn at a little shop on my recent camping trip to Frederiksburg, TX. I call these my "Enchanted Rock Socks", since we hiked up a giant piece of granite called Enchanted Rock.

Do you ever feel totally overwhelmed with life? Everything is going great, but my problem is that I can't seem to find time to do everything I want to do in a day. I'm a very busy woman. And I don't even have kids!! How do these women work full-time jobs, raise children, love a husband, and still find time for themselves?? I'm in awe of you females out there who do this and do it well.

My problem is that I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I want to do everything but I also want everything to be under control at all times - house clean and organized, quality time with my boyfriend, full roller derby schedule, productivity at the office, lots of time to knit and read, time to prepare and eat the healthiest diet, and at least an hour of exercise each day. Oh...and yoga twice a week, and time to hang out with friends, and, and.....sheesh. Now I wanna take a nap.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

My first official roller derby bout has come and gone. The whole night is a big blur. At the end, my team lost, but we put up a good fight. I've certainly got a lot to work on, and I am seriously determined to get better before our next game in May.

As for knitting, I finally finished the camo legwarmers so just need to post some pics. Next on my knitting list - I've been asked to knit a baby item for a charity event next month, so I may finally finish the green Trellis sweater that has been patiently waiting unfinished in my knitting bag for a couple of years. I also really want to make this lovely scarf...in light pink Peruvian baby silk.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Roller derby is taking over my life!!And I’m not complaining about it.I frickin love it!Last night we had our first public scrimmage of the season, and we rookies got to put on a little “mini-game” (that's me in black at the front).It was so much fun.I’m so excited about the upcoming season!If you live in Houston, you better get your ass to one of our games, or I’ll come find you and knock your teeth out.Hehe, just kidding.Here’s our season schedule.

Unfortunately, I have not been doing much knitting.I’m still meeting with my knitting group once a week, but that’s really the only knitting I’m doing.Slow progress on the camo legwarmers, but I’m still working on them.We have a derby art auction coming up in April, and I think I’m going to donate them to the sale.I’m also going to make some roller derby shadow boxes.I have some really cool ideas and cannot wait to get started on that project.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Have I mentioned lately how much I love roller derby?Last night at practice was the first night I’ve been able to actually scrimmage since my back injury (I herniated a disc about a month ago).It felt so good to be back in the game.Our first game of the season is less than two months away, so I’m really trying to push myself and do everything I can to make sure I’m in good shape.Well, I say everything I can, but I did eat some onion rings yesterday…woops.

I found a way to combine my love of roller derby with my love of knitting.Since my team’s colors are camo, I decided to knit some camo legwarmers to wear at our firt game.Well, that is if it isn’t too hot.Here’s my progress so far…

Friday, January 04, 2008

I finished my new felted bag. I started with a Noni pattern, and then either changed my mind or got lazy...I can't decide which is more true...and improvised the end to come up with the bag in the pic. Either way, it turned out kinda groovy, simple and modern, and I'm using it right now as my everyday purse. It holds a lot of stuff, and I LOVE the yarn color. It's Cascade 220 Heathers in a greenish-brown color.

Now I'm working on more wristwarmers!! I made a pair for three of my coworkers for Christmas, and now I'm getting requests from others to make more. They knit up really fast, but those should keep me busy for a while.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

I just found out that my cholesterol is 286.Sheesh.I basically have butter squishing through my veins.Not good.Of course my doc wants to put me on cholesterol lowering meds right away, but I’m going to take a more active approach and try to lower it through some diet changes and exercise.I think most people I know don’t think I can't do it – eat only veggies, fruits, nuts, beans, and soy products.I know it will be difficult, but my mind is made up and I’m sticking to it.I have to do it for my health.

That's my breakfast on the left. Take four cups of baby spinach, 1/2 cup of mango chunks, 1/2 cup mixed berries, two small bananas, two tablespoons of ground flax seeds, and soymilk, throw it all in a power blender, and voila!...instant health in a cup. I know it looks like something really scary and nasty, but it's actually kinda tasty and fresh. I think I can handle this.

I'm getting some inspiration from Kris over at http://www.crazysexycancer.com/. Obviously I know having high cholesterol isn't the same thing as being diagnosed with cancer, but after I watched her movie, I was really inspired to make some changes in my life and start doing some real living. I want to get the toxic stuff out of my life, and pump up the healthy stuff. Go check out her website...she's a total rockstar.