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I AM Present

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Just when I think I’ve let go of a destructive and limiting pattern, I discover it returns to haunt me. It all just seems never-ending. So at this point: the further down this road I go, the less I know and understand, so it feels. About both myself and my world [= one and the same].

For momentary lightness and as the Spanish-speaking waiter, Manuel said humorously in the old British comedy series Fawlty Towers : ‘I know nothing’. :-)

I spent decades doing what I thought was diligently applying myself to my inner work. My commitment was total, passing up on anything and everything and everyone that wasn’t aligned to my goal. Or that could distract me from it. I even got regularly congratulated by the hierarchy for ‘achieving’ this and that, spiritually-speaking. And doing what I understood was being asked of me as a means of aligning more greatly with my Higher Self.

If I wasn’t physically ill in a big way or up working halfway through the night towards some deadline or another, my commitment to the goal of God consciousness (though I didn’t call it that for many years) was ever-present, always spurring me on. It was what motivated my life – entirely.
So I can say my commitment and daily attempts to know and heal myself were always upper-most in mind and heart. And I was constantly reminded of the necessity of doing that inner work. And sort of provided with a trail of inner ‘breadcrumbs’ as to what to give my attention to next.

But after yet another series of ‘breakthroughs’ being thwarted in my all-too-familiar, one step forward, two steps backwards pattern, I’ve had to acknowledge a whole other element at work. The power of a very strong subconscious - doing whatever it could, wherever it could to impede every potential inner success.

It often seems like some sort of sick joke that the seeming-force of my subconscious has managed to do this – always without my conscious permission or desire. But really it’s no laughing matter, for sure. It’s why I’ve felt like I’ve come so close to my God goal many times, only to fall into the carefully-laid trap by my subconscious – again! And again and again and...
I’ve had to acknowledge the power of a very strong subconscious/ego at work. Often I’ve wondered whether hypnosis is the answer for someone like me. But when push comes to shove I haven’t really wanted an external force tampering with my head.

I don’t blame my subconscious, myself, God or anything outside of me. I’m not making excuses as a way to not be responsible for myself or my life.
Actually, it’s previously been a case of taking it all so seriously, that I’ve gone to the other extreme of beating myself up over not being able to resolve something within.

The problem with my subconscious, it seems, is that it doesn’t feel deserving and worthy. It doesn’t feel safe in God. No matter how differently from that I may feel during my conscious days.
This ‘subby’ views efforts to be in God as threatening, unsafe. Would you believe? Though, by all accounts, I’m not alone in this.
I was told I have a very strong spirit drive and an equally strong ego/subconscious.

It’s also why needing to feel in control of my healing rituals has been such an effort to relinquish. That’s a contradiction in terms, I know.
The thing is: you can’t be in an open space of being to both let go easily and receive the new if you’re still ‘holding on’, even (or particularly?) if it is through an exercise to let go. ☺ Because YOU are still controlling the process and it hasn’t totally been given over to God/your Higher Self.
The intellect is still running the ship, therefore not being open to the new/God/Higher Self.
This has been my experience. A very painful one, too.

As usual, I’ve gone running to the related specialists of the Lighted realms for help.
What I would really love and am calling for is for my subconscious to totally overwhelm me, to flood me, so I can see and know what’s there in order that I can deal with it better. That only comes, I know, if it’s in my highest and best interest and aligned with God's Will.

Besides this, I’m busy adapting to a whole new way of Being Me – without ‘subby’ and my ego dominating the show and causing me the grief it has in the past. Out with the old and in with the new.
I do think, though, that there must be a quicker and easier route out there than this has been. I just haven’t come across it yet.

God designed us and included the subconscious and ego. It’s part of our dual experience in this reality. The objective being to integrate all ‘parts’ into wholeness and God. And by doing that we can live the re-membrance of who we are in the greater Reality of ourselves...just by Be-ing who we naturally are already. Good and well to know this intellectually and in theory. But feeling kindly at every level about and towards ourselves is tantamount.

The great thing about this adventure in consciousness that is this life, the lives that we all have and live in this here and now is that things can and do change in an instant.
The reason why being on this planet currently is such a great gift.

We are constantly shifting the ‘works’ that we are becoming. Even if we ever/rarely physically move. For some of us, a single issue may take years or lifetimes to grasp, but grow we all do...sooner or later.

I often used to say ‘gifts of the soul come forth disguised as curses’. So, whatever God wants to learn and experience through this consciousness and persona of mine, I hope He’s having a good time doing just that. ☺

Our respective birthdates were when we each chose to come here; the times when particular energies prevailed on the planet.
I can’t help being in awe of the ease of the 20-something starseeds I’ve met. They came at a time when the energies on earth were far free-er of the encumbrances than those who arrived two or three decades earlier.
Many of the ones I’ve met seem to know quite naturally who they are and why they’ve come, acknowledging themselves without fanfare for being the goddesses/gods that they are.
Without effort, doubt or lack of sense of self, they seem to go about their soul business – living their missions already - with a flow in their inner knowing.
That, to me, is living the freedom of God.

Since mid-week or so I’ve experienced whole days of ongoing diarrhoea. Everything I've eaten, and I mean everything’s, passed right through me. A letting go...maybe. Despite not feeling good the past few days, I awoke today with a song in my heart – and that joyous exhilaration once more.

Having said that, it doesn’t matter anymore to me how long or short those deliciously-high God frequency feelings last for. Or don’t - as mentioned in one of my last posts. Of course, I’d love to live in them 24/7.
What matters more to me is knowing myself, subby’s/ego’s fears included, so as to work with fully appreciating, loving and accepting ALL of myself.

What good can any of us be to others if that charity doesn't first start at home, within us, towards our very own selves first.

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PEARLS OF WISDOM

From Heavenletter #164

To Great Wonder

'...our vision and truth will be inseparable, for it is My vision that will be yours.

Wouldn't you rather see through My eyes than your nearsighted ones?

Wouldn't you rather use My heart and My breath? The truth is that My heart and My breath are what are and what you have been using. Partly. You have none of your own. Your heart beats through Mine and I breathe your breath.'

New Era Relationship : The Q & A Of Intimate Intelligence

DNA awakening and spiritual/consciousness expansion are reliant on our emotional intelligence (EI) for growth. Our intimate relationships perfectly mirror the work that we’ve done, as well as what still needs doing towards greater integration and balance within. [E]motion (energy in motion) is our prime navigational tool. Here's a space to ask and explore everything you ever wanted to know on how to do relationships that return you to your own power...

(I will be going into some of these Q's in depth in upcoming relationship articles, as this space only provides for short responses)

Q:Our relationship seems to have entered the mundane;we no longer inspire each other, we take each other for granted,are not open or honest in the way we once were with each other and distance and misstrust seems to have set in. What can we do?

A:Because you haven't said any different, I'm assuming there are no external factors that may have contributed to your current relationship experience. Road blocks like these can help us reconnect in a more authentic way. First to ourselves and then to our partners. Perhaps our initial connection with each other was based on the other making us feel ‘safe’ and ‘complete’. And when we have that we often become comfortable and complacent. Which often invites stagnation in in turn. We need to ask: ‘Where are the places within where we don’t feel safe and complete. And why?’. As this is what motivated our need to be filled up externally in the first instance. You may want to blame something or someone outside of yourself for what is occurring. But the best contribution you can make to your relationship healing now is to explore where and when you stopped feeling safe, trusting and started feeling incomplete in your history. Once aware, memories trapped in your emotional bodies that have created such imbalances can begin being brought up for release. This will eventually lead to a more ‘whole’ relationship response by you. Here you'll have more of you to bring to a relationship and less needs to be filled by another. New era relationships avoid power imbalances, so having a partner who is equally responsible for him/herself emotionally is crucial to its success.

Q: How much damage can resentment (from one or both partners) create in a relationship? And is this repairable if it has been going on for many years?

A: Resentment is like a cancer that can eat away at the core of all that remains good in your togetherness. If you don’t understand it and allow it. It produces numerous symptoms, ranging from anger to withdrawal. As with much else that creates relationship havoc, it is a result of dishonesty and mistrust - mostly of the Self. Yet, to heal it is necessary to explore and purge this slow-cooking (e)motion at cause to ensure the relationship's forward movement. Rather than managing a symptom or two only to have resentment return down the line. If this happens, you'll know the root cause was not reached sufficiently. Additionally, acknowledging, separating, returning and fully owning which issues belong to whom, energetically-speaking, is the start of honouring the Self. Because the chief relationship that runs our external ones is the inner one we have first with our Selves.

Fan-tastic Followers

About Me

A decades-long preparation is about to pay off...I can feel it!
I believe the future of all of our choosing is about to begin.
I've never been convinced that being positive and performing rituals which comfort can alone answer the requirements of what's energetically needed to free ourselves from the 3rd Dimension/Fear Matrix. And the downside is these sometimes serve to keep us in that holding pattern of denial or idealism. I think of myself as an optimistic realist! Especially when I real-ised the work involved in growing ourselves.
To answer this need I developed EmoAlchemy - a variation of the ancient mystery school teachings. Like the alchemy of old which involved the transmutation of base metals into gold, taking full advantage of the current Ascension offerings requires the turning of base emotional states into (the gold of) higher frequency ones. It means constantly reviewing, releasing and integrating imbalanced parts of yourself in order to have a physically-successful effect on your biology, subsequently 'awakening' your dormant DNA.
And part of what we're needing to survive Earth's rising frequencies at this time.

Hollow/Inner Earth Map

See Forum Below

Hollow Earth

En-Trance

INNER EARTH Q & A FORUM:

This year I've received loads of questions about the inner earth humans, life in their cities and their relationship to us. Of course, there have been some who have told me outright that I need to get myself to the nearest nuthouse asap! :-) But seriously, rather than relay what I've learned through an article, I thought it would be great to facilitate direct dialogue between you via channelled responses.To get the ball rolling, send your question/s so everyone can benefit. If you're thinking about it, chances are so is someone else!

Q (KN): Do the inner earth beings need my help?

A

Q (SK): How on earth can humans survive in the inner earth? Isn't it too hot, and dark?

A (Bohar): Your governments have farmed out so-called 'official lines' to top scientists and geophysicists to convey to the public on such questions. This is mostly the (dis)information that makes the mainstream media and helps decide public opinion on this and other topics. Yet, there's a growing group of independent scientists who understand and accept the earth as being a hollow entity. Rather than hot malten magma at the earth's core, heat is generated by our sun. You will find our Agarthan crystalline cities hundreds of miles into the interior. Powered by an inner earth sun, it creates both perfect warmth and light for our sustenance. Gravity, as you know it, ceases to exist - which accounts for our living in a timeless/ageless existence.Close to the surface entrances are a system of caverns. All manner of non 5th Dimensional beings reside there and yes, it is dark and dank in places.Q (Jules): How do we get there and what mode of transport do you use?

A (Bohar):Numerous surface folk have tried to access the inner earth via various means over the past centuries. However, recently we've had to seal entrances in greater measure to prevent harm being inflicted on us by surface dwellers- mostly shadow government groups. Those that do come here either have a soul contract to do so or come due to to the upstanding nature of their character, which warrants access.

We, ourselves, get around via our underground monorail vehicles or via our space shuttles when we leave this sphere. Here we make use of various surface entrances/exits including the North and South Poles.Q (Jules): I'm studying photography. Is it possible to capture images of your world with our digital camera technology, should we ever be able to visit?

A (Bohar):We would only need to make some minor adjustment to your cameras to make them inner earth-friendly. We would also make another camera adjustment on your departure. Other than that, we see no problem with capturing images of our world, much as you do on the surface.