Luposlipaphobia – n. The fear of being pursued by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor.

While the psychological ailment of Luposlipaphobia is highly unlikely, it makes for a fun thing to think about, and also makes us wonder why it has not appeared in any major horror films. Is it idea of it just too silly to take seriously, or would animal trainers have too much trouble getting timber wolves to chase someone around a kitchen with a newly waxed floor? Well, it might be an experiment to try in some kind of student film someday, but with timber wolves being hard to track down, they might end up having to use huskies or malamutes to get a good result, but that’s not anything to take too seriously right now. There are too many other crazy experiments going on in other fields to find out if Luposlipaphobia really does exist. If you do live in an area prone to timber wolves, like the Pacific Northwest or in a fairy tale, put that bottle of clear Future acrylic floor cleaner away, and kick off your socks. Don’t leave any food out for temptation, including yourself, because Dr. Dolittle might be there to talk them out of making sure that Luposlipaphobia isn’t real. Read more...(238 words, 2 images, estimated 57 secs reading time)