Monday, June 19, 2006

Lessons from a Garden Hose

Below is a picture of a garden hose. The tap is closed kaya walang tubig na lumalabas. What do you think will happen if someone opens the tap? Hindi po trick question ito? Common sense lang. The hose nozzle if it’s open will discharge a jet of water and if left unrestrained will move backwards and side to side in erratic fashion.

If you are holding a hose with water running through it and the hose has no nozzle, how do you make the water eject a farther distance? Simple lang di ba? You try to reduce the opening at the end using your fingers. By reducing the opening, the flow velocity increases, thereby making the water discharge a farther distance. Now, there is a proper technique of doing this if your objective is to cause the longest trajectory. Done improperly with one’s fingers, water will jet out in scattered manner as in the picture below.

Rule number 1: Always hold your “thingee” properly. If you don’t hold it, it will be like an unrestrained hose spewing liquid everywhere. At the very least, hold it so that most of the liquid is aimed at the center of the bowl.

Sometimes, rule 1 is not enough to avoid wayward droplets. Yung iba kahit anong gawing pag-aim sa bowl, may talsik pa rin. This is because the opening at the end of the “thingee” is actually not round, but elongated. Imagine a miniature vagina placed at the end of a man’s penis, ganun yon. Kaya yung buga ng wee-wee, usually elongated din, hindi bilog. Minsan sabog tulad nung nasa picture sa taas. This is why, men need to follow Rule number 2. ALWAYS.

Rule number 2: The proper way of holding the “thingee” is to slightly pinch the top end of the head’s opening with one’s fingers so that the opening is slightly restricted. (Sorry po, wala akong picture nito. Gamitin nyo na lang imagination nyo. KD, baka naman pwede mo akong gawan ng graphics nito). By pinching the top end, you are in effect making the opening smaller and less elongated. Thereby, causing the wee-wee to be more convergent. Hindi sabog.

Talagang obvious na obvious ang fluid mechanics theory sa post na ito. As for me, hindi naman naging problema sa akin ang urination. Sino ba ang maglalakas magtulo sa toilet bowl namin, given a mother that is strict when it comes to hygiene? Although I do not have a technique that is identical to yours, I do something similar.

Nga pala, your third rule is not universal, KU. I observed that dito sa Czech Republic. Tanong mo naman siguro, paano ko nalaman? Siympre, kung may pila ng toilet, at nakatayo ka sa likod ng ibang lalaki that is currently urinating, then at least kita mo ang movements ng right arm nila diba? Sa Pilipinas, and also, what I do, is I pull my manhood (I hate to use the word "thingee", katunog kasi ng "tinga") once and shake it, na parang inaalog ang coin purse to check if there are change inside. Don't worry, hindi na tatalsik iyon, you've squeezed it already. Dito sa Prague, they don't do the squeeze-and-shake method. Instead, they push and pull. Akala mo tuloy, they're playing with their manhood, when seen from behind. Why the difference? Well, circumcision isn't prevalent in Europe, and that's the case as well here in Prague. So there's the added factor of a foreskin. Tapping alone won't work. That's why you need to push and pull against your manhood do conclude the task.

in fairmess very informative ang yung post hahaha.. nga namn kadiri talga yun and if its ur turn to use the toilet and panghi na or may mga lotches around the area. one thing pa. biys, lift the toilet seat when urinating. wla kayong pakisama hahahaha...

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Reflections on life, my past and anything under the sun as well as a journal of how it is to live in Aotearoa, "The Land of the Long White Cloud", which is New Zealand, from the viewpoint of a middle class Filipino family. Mga hinagpis, kakwelahan, ka-homesick-an ng isang Pinoy sa lupa ng mga ibong walang pakpak (kiwis) na mahaba ang tuka.

About Me

tipikal na pinoy workng in the IT industry. pero hindi mukhang nerd (that's what you think, sabi naman ng bruha kong anak). may maganda, mabait at napaka-sarap maglutong asawa at isang napakatalinong (mana sa ina), nagdadalagang anak. i've been in IT since the early 80's (tanda na no?). have worked in Saudi Arabia, then in Cal,USA, before finally settling in Auckland in '96.

Living in NZ

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