In school, our seniors advised us thus: NEVER agree for an OPEN BOOK TEST (especially by Iyer Sir). If you think that the answer is in the book and the test is all about how fast you can find the answer, and copy it to the answer sheet, you are completely wrong!

I am thankful to god that I am done with school. At least once a fortnight, I get exam nightmares where I enter the class and the exam is about to begin, and I find out that I have prepared for a completely different subject.

Traffic has become so horrible that we can’t even look towards the temple while driving. Earlier, you could stop in front of a temple and say the stotra of that particular god/dess. Kaligaala!

***

On the way to office, I saw Upendra’s ‘Topiwala’ posters in reverse but title in the same order. Another gimmick! And the tagline is catchy: Thale Illadavrigalla!
‘A’ is still talked about for its creative tagline: Buddhivantarige maatra!

I don’t know what happens after we die. But of one thing I’m sure: The dead have an access to Facebook and Newspapers. Because those who pay tributes, write it in direct speech (directly to the person who has expired).

***

A popular quirk during primary school days: GREEN TOUCH !!

***

Grandson and Paati went to a Mall.
Grandson entered Armani shop.
Paati followed without noticing the board.

Grandson: Paati, wait here. Will visit the next store and be back here in Armani.
After waiting for 45 minutes, Paati called her grandson on his mobile: Yennada, you told you will be back in Ar-mani!

***

Most of the Law and CA firms have the same name twice: Eg.: Keshav & Keshav. Sharma & Sharma. Mohan & Mohan, Kumar and Kumar etc. etc..!

***

What is the difference between me and Vani Murthy ?
I love posters. She, Composters.

***

Simple Interest: People with simple interests in life – like Coffee, newspaper, good food…

Compound Interest: People who are only wanting to buy property and build a compound around it.

***

By 1985, PB Srinivas was 55 years old, and sang rarely. But this number that he sang for ‘Bettada Hoovu’ is a gem. His voice suits perfectly to that of the teacher’s expression. The line when he sings “Olle maathugalaadisu, Olle kelasava maadisu, Olle daariyalemma nadesu, vidyeya kalisu“, brings tears in my eyes.

Match-fixing is not new to Indians. Elderly women have been known to fixing matches in India for ages.

***

Lost PBS last month. Now TMS. Both had lent their voices to Dr.Rajkumar in the early part of his career. The song ‘Raajara Mahalinali’ is a famous TM Soundararajan number sung for Annavru for the film ‘Simha Swapna’ (1968). TMS first sang for Raj in ‘Premamayi’ (1966).

Most of us have seen at the end of any emailer:
• Sent from Samsung Galaxy Note
• Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel
• Sent from Samsung Mobile
• Sent from my Nokia phone
and so on

Imagine these in the ancient times:
• Sent from Carrier Pigeon
• Sent from Racing Homer
• Sent from American Show Racer
• Sent from Homing Pigeon
• Sent from Pigeon Racing
• Sent from Release Dove
• Sent from English Carrier
• Sent from Passenger Pigeon
• Sent from Cloud Messenger
• Sent from Cloud Meghadooth®
• Sent from Megha Sandesha®
• Sent from Smoke Signal Yamana
• Sent from Long Distance Smoke Signal®

***

When my parents got married, out-of-towners who couldn’t attend sent telegrams. When father passed away, people sent faxes. When mother expired, email messages. For my marriage, friends sent SMSes. When my son was born, people wished us using instant messaging on social media.

What will be the next generation of messaging?

***

Hotels, Temples and Beauty Saloons: 3 things that you’ll find on most roads in Malleswaram today!

***

Two foreigners visited the temple at Kashi where they heard the ‘Annapoorna Stotra’. As the stotra came to an end, one told the other: Didn’t I tell you, there are lots of curries in India?

***

Markandeya challenging Yama… we all know. But after hearing to his composition “Chandrashekara Ashtakam”, I got to know Markandeya did not like YAMAHA too… coz after every stanza, he asks: “Why Yamaha?”

***

ATMAVALOKANA was organised and invites were distributed. People were surprised that the organiser and venue was a Bank. Only after the function started, most of the audience got to know it was ATM Avalokana!

5th Standard was when Ink Pens ‘officially’ came into our life! You had to earn a ‘Hero’ pen, which was never bought. Until you earned one, it was some local pen, which invariably leaked. Hence a blotting paper or a piece of cotton cloth).

***

One family from Mysore has the pride of writing and printing Panchanga continuously for the past 126 years. The Vontikoppal Panchanga was started by Siddanthi Tammaiah Shastry in 1887-88. Presently, the fifth generation of the family is carrying on the work. Vontikoppal Panchanga is the first in the world to bring out a Panchanga exclusively for America.

***

Rewind back to the ’80s: There was a mad man called Manikya near my cousin’s place. He was not totally mad. He used to do jobs like cleaning the garden etc. But the interesting part was that after doing the job, he used to ask for a brand and crisp 5 rupee note. It HAD to be crisp, just like you get in RBI. A soiled note would irritate him completely. He often used to tell us kids (then) that his wife ran off with MGR.

Why did I remember this? My son is learning for his Kannada test tomorrow. And he has a sentence. “Maatu Maanikya”!

Right from childhood, Bengluru born Shaiju Kutty is very fond of his mother and the Tea she prepares, so much so that he becomes an expert Tea maker. Seeing her son’s interest in Tea making, she helps Shaju to set up a Tea shop in a layout where Mallu kutties are in majority.

Aside: Was about to share this picture on June 25th, last month, to commemorate India’s first WC triumph. Right then, got a call from my son’s school that he had a fall and has a dislocated bone. The cast will be removed tomorrow. He thus ‘single- handedly’ completed his first Unit test in flying colours!

On CNBC Awaaz, every night you can watch Awaaz @ 9 (in Hindi).
On our roads, every day and night you can watch Awaaz 24/7 (all languages).

***

I regret to inform that my uncle Sri B R Chandrashekhara Rao, Retired Teacher and Former Headmaster of National High School, Basavanagudi, Bangalore, passed away this morning at 11.15am at his residence. Fondly known to many of his students as BRC, he was known for his inimitable voice that commanded respect. He was a strict disciplinarian and was a stickler to perfection. Everyday, he wore white bush shirt and a crisp dark trouser, neatly pressed. And it was full navy whites on Saturdays. A man of principles and integrity, BRC represented the values NHS stood for. Students really loved him and felt it a blessing to have him as a teacher and NCC officer.

May the departed soul rest in peace.

***

All the MODIs that I have heard, seen and read about (in chronological order)

***

A Manipuri will surely appreciate that there is a Mary Kom Ba temple in our city!

I liked this 62 second video for the mood-setting instrumental bgm. It was like the Team Facebook telling me ‘Thank you’!

***

ಚಿಕ್ಕ ವಯಸ್ಸಲ್ಲಿ ಅಜೈಲ್.
ವಯಸ್ಸಾದ ಮೇಲೆ ಫ್ರಜೈಲ್.

***

No one can encourage and shower praises like our beloved TIGER Pran! Dear Sir, a heartfelt thanks for all those words of encouragement, likes, comments, positive words, appreciation, support, thoughtfulness and most importantly, for your time! Thank you very much from all of us at Muktabalaga, and from everyone in the social media network to whom you have had a kind word to say! You deserved this long back. Sorry for the delay. – Regards, Bellur
[Needless to say, we hope to see more and more of your comments, likes and shares]

Flex banners at many traffic signals has a picture of Dravid and a message saying “When on the road, always say Pehle Aap”.

Just wondering if Dravid is an AAP member!

Imagine two very generous drivers – one on a Bolero, and another on a Scorpio, meet near an intersection somewhere in the interiors of N.R. Colony. One says “Pehle aap”…the other says…” no sir, pehle aap”…goes on and on… neither of them moves ahead…because they want to follow the PEHLE AAP rule. Result: Traffic jam because of Jammy!

This morning, for a short stretch, to my left was an AUTO and to my right was an ALTO.

***

Remember those olden day taps with a long white cloth tied to it?

***

You’ve seen the I-PAD. Remember the WE-PAD (Wooden Examination Pad)?!

It’s that time of the year, when exam pads make a quick entry into every student’s life. During my school days, we would inherit the exam pads from our elders. Hence the wooden pad would have been used by our uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers and finally reach us.

The dark brown pad (with rounded edges) would have a smooth surface on the front and a rough textured surface at the back. The front would have a ‘SRI’, ‘OM’, names of some of the previous owners written in various styles, in blue or green ink. Black or Red ink was considered inauspicious! I had written “Da- 2 small vertical lines- Raj” in a self designed stylish 3D font in Kannada when I got the pad sometime in 3rd standard. Before that, I don’t remember using one. I had used blue sketch pen to write this.

I somehow hated to use the pad just for what it was meant for. Hence, as soon as the exams got over, I would use the pad as a cricket bat, a frisbee, a sword, a fan, a TT bat…. and thus the dark brown pad would have some broken edges by late April. I would also test my endurance levels by putting my fingers under the clip… 3 seconds and the fingers would be removed! The pad would have one small needle like thing near the clip. And this would scratch atleast one of my fingers during every exam. During 6th standard, I remember pasting a poster of Rajkumar at the back of the pad.
It was a huge inspiration for me!

My son’s plastic Ben-10 pad brought back these memories this morning.

***

Plastic pencil box always looked weak. And that too if it had a single opening. A magnetic pencil box was a fantasy. I was unable to come to terms with myself for a week when my first brother-in-law gifted me one when I was in 2nd standard. It had totally 5 openings – 2 each on both sides and one in the middle, that made the box look like a small diary book. My friends here were in awe with that box.

Friends in “far off” Cochin school also got to see my magnetic box. I remember boys asking in Malayalam: Idu evadannakitti?!

When I graduated from that to the powerful Geometry box, the main attraction were the Compass, Divider, Set square, blotting paper, and of course, if you managed to have a Hero Pen, then you looked a true HERO!

And then came the Ink sharing programme!

***

The only place
which has offered
a ‘level’ playing field
for a Shastri, Poojara
Pandit, Adhikaari,
Nawab, Merchant,
Maharaja, Yuvaraja,
Engineer, Contractor
is ‘Test’ Cricket!

***

In some old hotels, even today, Bournvita, Horlicks and Badam Powder bottles are not inside the kitchen. They’re kept next to the Cashier.

***

Book Cricket, and other types of Cricket I played!

During 4th and 5th standard, ‘book cricket’ entered our lives. I remember playing it quite intensely with my pal Hanuman in 5th standard. As I contracted Jaundice during that time, I was not allowed to go out and play (missed school for quite some days). I used to play book cricket alone after writing down the names of the players (one team was always India, the other varied Eng, WI, Aus etc..) on two pages (it resembled almost a complete scorecard).

The runs were scored by flipping the book open at random and the last digit of the right-side (even-numbered) page was counted as the number of runs scored. 0 (and sometimes 8) were assigned to special rules, typically a wicket was lost when a person scored 0 and scoring 8 would be substituted for a No ball run and an additional chance. To give an example, if the batting side opened the book at page 26, then 6 runs would be scored. For the toss, what was generally done was that both the players open a page and the one whose last digit is greater wins.

Other types of Cricket that I played: Hand cricket and leg cricket! (self explanatory)

And one of my neighbourhood friends, Umesh, had this indoor Cricket board game, where wickets were placed on a green circular piece of clothing, toy fielders were positioned, boundary ropes were kept and the batsman (i.e. you) had a tiny bat to hit the ball which were, shiny ball bearings, that would be dropped from about 5cms height by another player. If the ball went into the small opening near the feet (V-shaped) of the fielder, it was out. If the ball bearing touched the ropes, it was a boundary.

***

“There was a bit of pressure on me. I just got married, and my wife was worried I should perform. We knew that the new ball would do a bit.”

Just like a Principal peeping into a class and walking away, the sun peeped once in Bengaluru disappeared.

***

After years of wear and tear, the Geometry box lid would start moving horizontally, a la Chiranjeevi while dancing! Once the Geometry box lid started acting loose, we would put a piece of paper and close it so that it sat tightly!

***

Blue & White Hawaii slipper and a ‘safety pin’! Made for each other (no more)!

***

I played with a short and fat scooter tyre and also a slim and trim cycle tyre… with which tyre did you play?

***

Ajji calls her grandson, who is listening to his i-pod, and asks him to buy get her a new Panchanga. The boy goes to a shop near 8th cross.

While in school, doubts would crop up on a Sunday evening, a day before the exams! Some of us would study late into the night. Seeing this rare occurrence, one or the other member in the house would invariably utter this phrase: YUDDHAKAALE SHASTRAABHYAASA!

***

On the last day of the exam, we would frantically run behind our seniors, asking, begging them to sell their textbooks to us, for half rate. The condition of the textbook would decide the final rate. Dirtier the book, lower the price.

By 9th and 10th std., even the GUIDES would be in demand! Remember MBD Guides (Malhotra Book Depot)!

HELL IS UNDER RENOVATION.
Because humans have got used to the tortures given in Hell.
Just like mosquitoes have got used to Odomos & Good Knight.
Hell is getting new and improved torturing devices.
Until then, all those supposed to enter Hell are being reborn as Mobile phones.

PS: This is a stop-gap arrangement.

***

When I hear an ambulance speeding on the road with the siren sound, I feel it is the patient inside shouting: now-novvu-now-novvu-now-novvu. Sometimes, the Yamakinkaras are trying to take the patient away. That is when the ambulance siren sound resembles a loud NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!

‘Sim’ was a word that mother knew and used often. I only followed her instruction when she would say from the verandah (while talking to our neighbour) – keep the milk for heating…not HIGH, just SIM. Today, I don’t hear anyone say this. The only SIM that people of today know is the Mobile SIM. Today the word HIGH means one who is HIGH on drugs.

A ‘metro’ was always a metropolitan city, made popular by Doordarshan’s news readers (The temperatures in the four metros are…). Now when we hear someone say Metro, we need to know if it is the Metro cash and carry or Namma Metro, or one of the four metros!

‘Flex’ is another word that you hear so much. Earlier, those who would exercise would flex their muscles. Today, flex more often than not means the material for printing anything and everything – from the traffic rules (with pictures of 3 ants or Sri Veerendra Hegde or Rahul Dravid), to announcing the birthday of Karave Narayana Gowdaru or informing us near Devegowda petrol bunk that the current CM is not Yeddy or his buddy, but it is Jaggi on whom the rivals are waiting to close the shutter…to letting us know that fruit seller Mariyanna or little Selvaganesh or groundnut seller Kempamma are no more.

Every word has a variety of connotations which can be added to, removed or altered over time. Sometimes this occurs to the extent that words from one point in time have very different meanings in relation to another time. A good example of a recent semantic change is of the word mouse; with the advent of computer technology, the word for the animal has been used to refer to the device.

Nowadays, when you say even the most common or innocuous word or phrase, it would have some new definition that was apparently written yesterday because you never heard it before. One example that comes to mind is the word “sick” which apparently now is being used to indicate something “cool” or “exciting” or “awesome.” This usage almost literally makes me sick. Sick means sick, and this “new” definition is just beyond ridiculous.

Apple was just a fruit till a few years ago. Now when a kid asks “do you have an apple at home?” you have to think which apple is this little know-all devil asking and then say the answer. Then, an apple a day kept the doctors away. Now an apple a day keeps the Mac guys happy.

Inside school, Galaxy was a system of millions or billions of stars, together with gas and dust, held together by gravitational attraction – the one which the solar system is a part; the Milky Way. Outside school, it meant the posh theatre on Residency road. Today, Galaxy is neither of the two. It primarily means a mobile.

Ditto with Blackberry. The fruit has been overshadowed by its mobile namesake!

WORD meant a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing. Today it means MS Word (which is a proprietary word processor), a file format. EXCEL, which earlier meant to shine, is today a commercial spreadsheet application, and a file format.

Stumble was when someone walked unsteadily or a misstep. Now it means the personal recommendation engine StumbleUpon.

In mathematics, FB series (Fourier–Bessel series) is a particular kind of generalized Fourier series (an infinite series expansion on a finite interval) based on Bessel functions. Need I say what FB means today?

Ever since I can remember, the word ‘Majestic’ for me means Cinema halls, Central Bus stand and Bangalore Railway Station! I need to be told it also means royal and regal!

‘Bandwidth’ was a data transmission rate; the maximum amount of information that can be transmitted along a channel. Now it is the capacity of a person to handle tasks or issues, either actual or emotional.

‘Go green’ was earlier meant to convey envy. Today anyone going green is good for the environment, as it means environmentally friendly. As the need for recycling has developed, ‘green’ has become not only a word to describe colour, but to describe a person who is doing their bit for the environment.

Writers in the previous century used the word ‘gay’ in a carefree way to express happiness (as in gay abandon). Now they have abandoned the usage. The meaning of ‘gay’ has changed over the years from happy to homosexual.

Most of us use the word ‘Google’, the internet search technology company and platform, instead of ‘Search’ – to search the internet for information.

Outlook meant viewpoint. Today, it more often than not means either the software product from Microsoft or the weekly english newsmagazine.

Space only meant the outer space. Today, even the Ajji at the temple knows how much space her Galaxy has for storing pictures and music!

The word ‘At’ was used as a function word to indicate presence or occurrence in, on, or near. Now most of us write the symbol @ instead of the whole word. Any e-mail address is incomplete / incorrect without the symbol.

Stream meant a body of water with a current that’s confined within a bed. And now, it is used to mean a constantly flowing body of updates, photos, images, and other content on social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Some of the text msgs hv riDQlous sentences with lotsa acronyms. LOL! Some acronyms hv multiple mngs for specific trgt audience. POS is a commonly used acronym. If you are a teenager, it can mean Parents Over Shoulder. For a sales person, it means Point of Sale. For a person into linguistics, it is Part of Speech. For the guy interested in visiting the Carribbean, it is Port of Spain.

A3 is a page size for the designers and printers. For teenagers, it means Anywhere, Any time, Any place.

We knew that PTO meant Page Turn Over or Please Turn Over. It also fitted perfectly into Kannada – Puta thirugisi odhi! Now, those who chat, use it to mean Pass This On!

I feel World Taekwondo Federation, Wikileaks Task Force, Western Task Force, Williamstown Theatre Festival and even the World Trade Fair face a common problem – they must be feeling embarassed to use the abbreviated form (WTF). Even if they use the abbrv. form, the person reading might read it by default as What the….!

ATM for some of us means Automated Teller Machine (only a place where we can get cash). For the SMS generation, it also means At the moment.

For us, Hand means hand. For teens, it is Have a nice day! I knew SMH as Kirmani’s initials. But I got to know it also means Shaking my head! (what you are doing now!)

Coming back to the words,’ Cool’ once only meant something somewhat cold. Now, anyone who doesn’t crib or scold, and agrees to any nonsense happening around him/her, is cool! Or when a teenager understands something as basic a sentence as: Today is Sunday, his/her reaction can be ‘Cool!’ I feel they say it when the situation is in their favour.

At the same time, ‘Hot’ once only meant something somewhat hot. Today you use the word to describe the ladies who dance for the item songs in all woods (holly, bolly, kolly, tolly, molly, sandal…) (someone who is physically attractive). It shows that language is changing because the views on sexuality and expression is becoming more open and as opposed to years ago it is not as sinful to talk about and express.

Cell can mean either a biological unit of living organism, or the ‘box’ where a column and a row intersect, in a spreadsheet, or a prison or a cellphone.

‘Link’ always meant a relationship between two things or situations, esp. where one thing affects the other. Today, a link is more often than not an address to a particular website.

Spam in the olden days meant food. Now it means junk email.

‘Plus One’ was what I studied after 10th standard. Now, it is used to mean a new initiative that allows anyone searching Google to publicly endorse web results they like. It’s a kind of digital shorthand for a thumbs-up.

We don’t bother about a person’s ‘memory’. We only want to know the computer’s ‘memory’, made up of chips that temporarily hold data or instructions in a computer.

Mouse was always a famous and important cartoon character in either Tom & Jerry or Mickey & Donald series. Now, we can’t think anything else other than the small input device we work with to operate our computer.

Surf was only a washing powder, which the sensible, value-conscious housewife ‘Lalitaji’ asked us to buy. Today, Surf in the Internet parlance means ‘surf’ or browse the Internet.

A ‘bridge’ was built normally over a water-body to enable traffic across, or it was a game. Interestingly in network terminology, a bridge is a device which connects multiple network segments at the innermost data layers. And for the graphic designers, bridge usually means Adobe Bridge.

Yahoo was what Shammi Kapoor shouted in the song. For the current generation (don’t know if it is the X, Y or Z gen that is running now), Yahoo is a famous web portal.

A’ tag’ that normally labels instructions or the price of items has also entered the tech-world. It is now used by web-developers to create itemised contents for the web-pages with relevant key-words that help search engines like Google or Bing to bring out the relevant pages when these key-words are searched for.

Server was usually in volleyball / tennis,or in the hotels. Now it is related to technology. Post was part of a fence or what the postman delivered. Today, post needs no explanation.

Thread used to be a piece of string. Again no explanation needed for the current use. Text was simply letters typed out. Now it means a text message.

Biological virus cause illness to living beings, while rogue software ‘virus’ infect and take down even powerful computers that are not adequately protected. Similarly a ‘bug’ is an insect in the real world while it means an error in software programming parlance or a technical flaw in a hardware solution.

Last but not the least, the first 3 letters of my name, RAM, doubles up as ‘Random Access Memory’ in the digital realms. When someone asks me : How much ram is required for windows 7 64 bit? I say: Till I am there, one will do!

As time moves on we come across new terms and old words with new meanings and learn to adapt to their new meaning by repeated use. It only takes a good weather day to sit back relaxed and think retrospectively as to how these common words once meant something so simple in our lives, have been very much complicated by technology. Until we meet again, boot your windows, run your mouse and keep surfing the web.

Now it’s your turn. What others might you add? Feel free to mention your list in the comments section!

It was a very impulsive decision on my part to get onto the bus called Facebook. And it has been a very impulsive decision to get off it. Enjoyed every minute of the ride! Want to end my journey here. My stop has come, and am alighting off FB! [I can hear a sigh of relief from all my books, and of course my beloved blog*!]

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