Sunday, May 26, 2013

In the
play “Hamlet,” Laertes loves his sister Ophelia but like most Elizabethan males
he seeks to control her. Before he leaves for France he gives a speech
instructing her on the importance of proper behavior.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "T" is for "Tom")

Here’s this week’s
Berownial quiz.I wrote the following
scenelet, which should remind you of one of the Shakespeare plays.Your assignment, should you choose to accept
it, is: which play?

Sue: “You’re
still packing?You’ve been running
around all morning.I thought you’d be
all set by now.”

Tom:“I’m just about ready.Have you seen my beret? It's my badge of honor for a visit to France.”

“Oh
God Tom, you didn’t have to buy a beret
to make a trip to Paris.That’s really
overdoing it.”

“Well,
I wanted to fit in.”

“My
understanding is that most French folks stopped wearing berets around the time
of Louis Fifteenth.Just buy a baguette
first thing you get there and walk down the street with that skinny loaf of
bread tucked under your arm; you’ll fit in nicely.”

“Come
on, cheer up. Why do you let your mood darken so much? After all, you live like a
princess in an actual castle; not many girls have a lifestyle like that.So you should just be happy that your bro got
a chance to go to Paris.”

“Yeah,
it’s great.It’s just that whenever Dad
decides to spring for something really expensive, like a chance to leave these northern climes for a trip to France – with
all those luscious meals at Parisian restaurants – it’s for you.I get to sit home and watch.”

“Listen.I know your relationship with Dad is a bit...”

“Strained?”

“Well,
yes.Why don’t you make a bit more
effort to be...”

“The
dutiful daughter?What century is
this?I should be able to live as I want
to live.You certainly do.”

“Anyway,
you know very well this is an educational trip.I’ll be studying most of the time while I’m in Paris.”

“Yeah,
and I think I know what you’ll be studying.”

“Hah,
witty to the last.Sis, you have to face
it, Dad’s old school.He loves his
daughter, wants the best for her. I know that's something of a liability for you. If
that means keeping you here in a castle so he can watch over you – well, I have
no idea how to get him to change such ideas at his age.Talk about conservative, I believe he thinks Herbert
Hoover was the last great president.”

“No, for
him Hoover would have been too much of a leftist.Well, anyway, bon, as they say at the Deux
Magots, voyage!”

well-known motion
picture. So I wrote the following. Your assignment, should you
choose to accept it, is: name the movie.

Dear Jen:

You know that old TV show “Let’s Make a
Deal”?

Well, we made one – (a deal not a TV show).And what a deal!

It seems we’re now caretakers.You know the tough time we’ve been having what
with Stan out of work, and you know how we were forced to give up our apartment
and little Danny had to leave that great school we worked so hard to get him
into.

Well, the times they are a-changing.

Some time back I happened to run into an old
high-school pal and after I unloaded my various troubles on to her, she
casually mentioned that if we wanted to act as caretakers we – the whole fam
damily - could get free room and board for the winter.

Well, that sounded interesting, at the very
least.

It seems there’s this resort hotel upstate
which has to close down during the winter months because the snow piles up to
ten feet or so around it.They needed
someone, preferably a small family, to live there during that time, taking care
of things.

It sounded almost too good to be true.Well, it was both good and true; we’re
now comfortably ensconced in this beautiful palace, enjoying a silky-smooth life, something we
haven’t done for quite some time.

Little Danny has been getting exercise and
making his moves by riding his tryke up and down the hotel corridors.

And Stan now has the time to work on his novel.He’s sure he’ll be able to finish it in two
months.It’s a pleasure for me to listen
to him working away; if energy, dedication and enthusiasm mean anything he’s in
the process of creating a masterpiece.

Even if he doesn't finish with a work of
art but just a clever-but-shallow best seller – that will make us a huge
fortune – I could live with that too.

There’s just one thing.The feeling of cabin fever here is really
strong; we’ve got to be sure none of us goes nutcakes because of it.I’ll keep you posted.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Here's the answer to this week's quiz.“The Metamorphosis” is a novella by Franz Kafka,
first published in 1915. It is often cited as one of the seminal works of
fiction of the 20th century and is widely studied in colleges and universities
across the Western world. The story begins with a traveling salesman, Gregor
Samsa, waking to find himself transformed into a monstrous insect.

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "R" is for "Roger")

Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz.

A novella is a type of writing that is normally longer
than a short story but shorter than a novel.I wrote the following scenelet to suggest one of the most famous and
most popular novellas ever written.Your
assignment, should you choose to accept it, is: give us its title.

Hannah:“Thank God you’re here.I’ve been
going out of my mind.”

Bob:“Well, I got here as soon as I could.The traffic was incredible.Now,
again, what’s the problem.Roger is
sick?”

Hannah:“I don’t know.There’s something
awfully wrong with him.He’s locked
himself in the bedroom.He’s already
very late for work.”

Bob:“And
what’s wrong with her?”

Hannah:“Oh, Ruth has had kind of a shock.She seems to have trouble talking.
You know how vigilant she is; she got a look at him before he locked the door.”

Bob:“Come on, Ruth.He’s your
brother; you two usually don’t keep things from each other.What’s the matter with Rog?”

(Ruth
does not respond.)

Bob:“Hannah,
how come you haven’t called the doctor?”

Hannah:“Well, it doesn’t seem that he’s sick; it’s just that he’s -well, changed.You’re his best friend; we thought maybe you
could talk to him.”

Bob:“Through a locked door?”

Hannah:“Oh, he can hear you.But he
doesn’t answer.He just makes, like,
weird noises.”

Bob:“This is incredible.(Takes Ruth by the shoulders and shakes her.)Come on, Ruth! I don't mean to trample on your feelings for your brother, but what’s wrong with him?How has he changed?”

Ruth (distraught):
“I can’t…You wouldn’t…”

Bob:“I wouldn’t – what?Understand?Try me.”

Hannah:“She’s helpless; she had quite a shock.”

Bob:“Ruth, tell me!You mean that
what’s happened to Roger is so awful that you can’t even describe it?”

Sunday, May 5, 2013

(Also for Three Word Wednesday and ABC Wednesday: "Q" is for Quentin.)Here’s this week’s Berownial quiz question.

As you know, Shakespeare wrote a number of plays
named for English kings.I wrote the
following, basing it loosely on one
of his most famous “king” plays.Laurence Olivier and Kenneth Branagh starred in two of the famous films
made about this king.

So your assignment, should you choose to accept it,
is this: give us the name of the Shakespeare king suggested by the following.

Quentin
is a young guy with a top job.

When
his father passed away, Quentin became CEO of the family’s huge
corporation.He’s well aware that
there’s a possibility that because of his youth some people are not going to be
taking him seriously.

Today’s
a big day.He has a meeting scheduled
with another CEO to discuss a possible merger.The man who shows up for the meeting has brought a gift.Because lanky young Quentin has a reputation as a
tennis player, the gift is a box of tennis balls.

Quentin:“Tennis balls?”

Visitor: “You bet.A full box of the best.They’re
Dunlop Professional tennis balls, especially created for performance and
durability.You’ll love ‘em.”

“I – I guess I’m a bit confused.My meeting today was with your CEO.”

“Well hey, you understand, the guy’s a very busy
man.He’s always juggling three or four
deals around.I’m his personal assistant
and he wanted me to convey his warm and fuzzy best wishes to you and, most
important, to discuss your reaction to his idea of a possible merger.”

“And your name..?”

“Just call me Phil.”

“Ok Phil, let’s see if I understand.I set up a meeting to discuss your CEO’s idea
of a possible merger of our two corporations – it was his idea - but he’s too
busy; he sends his personal assistant.”

“I assure you I’m fully qualified…”

“And he also sends me a gift, a box of tennis balls
– something you might give a high-school kid.”

“I see you’re getting a bit upset.”

“Upset?Well,
you see, on a subject as important as a possible merger of two corporations, I
can meet only with another CEO, not a personal assistant.”

“I’ll report back to him that…”

“Yes, report to him that I enjoy the game we’re
playing.Tell him I’m just an adolescent he
doesn’t have to take seriously.But here's my ultimatum: tell him I’ve got a terrific forehand and an even more powerful destructive backhand.And tell him that his serve - the idea of a
merger of our two firms - has gone straight into the net!”

By
the way, the tennis balls were not my idea.Shakespeare wrote a scene about tennis balls; it’s an important part of
this play.