What odd remedies and cures do you lot have for ailments? I've been pissing rusty water out of my arse at high pressure most of the night. Meh. I am still going to go out tonight for curry and beer though

Alt:What the fuck are you up at this time for?
(sportersI知 sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 6:14,
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Fuck that I used to LOVE getting pissed while tripping.
I've still got just over twenty minutes of my shift left.
(stuj(^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 9 Mar 2012, 6:40,
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I am 100% behind that idea.
I would also like to take this opportunity to stand up and announce that I, tangledupinblue, am an alcoholic.Can I have some acid now, please?I'll give you some quack advice to help justify your plans for tonight: curry contains turmeric, which contains a substance call curcumin which is a natural anti-inflammatory used for hundreds of years in Ayurvedic medicine for stomach ailments. Beer will probably help too.

yet another reason to love Norway.
Alt, I was told by an old Irish lady, that to cure constipation one should run a hot bath and hang your arse over the edge. (She didn't say to shit in the bath). Apparently there is no traditional Irish cure for being a prize cunt.
(Catomiagiis in with a chance, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:20,
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I've just seen the most stupid interview of a pop star I've ever seen.
This girl Alexandria Berk girl has a new single called "there is an elephant in the room", it's shit, really shit, but aside from that, she goes "Nobody has really heard that expression over on this side of the pond, so when we* were writting the song, I thought I would be the first person to bring it over.".

She's about half way between a good terrormassue and a banoffee pie, on the pudding scale Y axis,
and just slightly to the right of a snickers flapjack along the X axis.
(G/PP&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:33,
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Add 'terrormassue' to the list!
It sounds like something a suicide bomber would get from one of the 92 virgins.
(scarpeWe Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:37,
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I hadn't read your blog for a week or so, I just saw you already have this covered.
Yay!
(scarpeWe Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:39,
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72 virgins.
Or 72 raisins, depending on which translation of the Q'r'r'r'r'ran you have.
(Monty Boyce,My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:44,
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I'll try to remember that.
But only to avoid lookig stupid, not because I could care less about it offending anyone that I get it wrong.
(scarpeWe Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:59,
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Are they chocolate covered raisins?
That'd be better than the virgins.
(crackhouseceilidhbandFuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:01,
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I donno why someone would want 72 Virgins.
You only need one, the very last one, to cure your african aids and STIs. The rest of them would be best to have complete and utter dirty sleezy STI infected fuck-buddies... imagine all the weird and wonderful textures and flavours different STIs can produce !
(G/PP&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:08,
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yeah, bastards.
they actually tried to treat my injuries, for fuck's sake. that's not what it's about
(the mighty badgerAphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:11,
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At last, I have something to replace
"There's a giant issue that none of us seem willing to talk about even though it's staring us in the face and ignoring it is not going to make it go away and in fact is just making us look really stupid and it's probably going to cause problems sometime down the line, you know" in my daily speech.
(scarpeWe Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:37,
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Yeah, be careful, or you may get first hand experience
because I do find you utterly irresistable, you know.
(scarpeWe Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:00,
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You and everyone else.
Get to the back of the queue, you cunt.
(Monty Boyce,My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:19,
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It's an excellent idea, whachootalkinboutWillis?
Many valuable medical applications for hallucinogens were abandoned in the political furore aver recreational LSD use in the 1960s. Proper baby/bathwater stuff. You can still go for ayahuasca therapy sessions in South America which are demonstrably good for addiction and other psychological issues. The results of LSD therapy on terminal alkies were more successful than pretty much any other techniques they tried, especially with regard to people staying dry afterwards. So nerr.

Was that before or after Marlboro were sponsored by the Ku Klux Klan?
I can't remember, it's been ages since I read Jimmy Hill's Big Book of Facts.
(Monty Boyce,My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:50,
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The elephant had threatened to expose this secret
along with revealing details of how the moon landings were filmed in the Arizona desert. This was a typical CIA pachyderm "hit".
(tangledupinbluewhat will survive of us is guffs, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:52,
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Well, they had to keep themselves busy,
Once they'd killed Kennedy they didn't have much on.
(Monty Boyce,My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:53,
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This is what I have planned for tomorrow.
As well as 'normal' drinking, Lusty has hollowed out lime wedges and filled them with red vodka jelly, thus creating what looks like miniature watermelon slices. We have fucking shitloads of them.
(Monty Boyce,My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:06,
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I find mainstream medicine
to be the best general cure for ailments. Due to it being the only thing that is tested and works.
(the mighty badgerAphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 8:59,
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this article is about proper (sort of)
drug trials, so use of LSD like this would be mainstream medicine.
(the mighty badgerAphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:07,
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Well, that'll teach me to read beyond the headlines.
Especially as I was giving shit to someone earlier in the week for doing exactly what I just did.
(scarpeWe Stole Bikes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:10,
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Am I the only one who isn't hungover today?
I'm the same as TMB, I take Lemsip if I have a cold at work, and paracetamol/ibuprofen if I have a headache.

a very good morning to everyone that i don't have on ignore
I clicked that link, and the first 'Danger of LSD' made me laugh
(QuintnoEXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:26,
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Meh, morning.
Acid is only dangerous, if you attempt to drive on it. Having a mental conversation with oneself about the relative merits of red and green traffic lights, is not healthy for you, or other road users.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged.Halloween is coming to town., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:36,
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thats why i laughed
i've never taken those things cos i was brought up properly, but i thought the whole 'i believe i can fly (jump out of window)' thing was made up by grange hill and Duffy from casualty
(QuintnoEXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:37,
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Tangledupinblue's tried and tested hangover recovery system
To answer the main question and, as so many here seem to be suffering with a hangover, I offer you this:1. try to drink a pint of water before going to bed. If you can manage to eat something too, I think this helps. If nothing else that extra time it gives you to sober up before falling asleep will take the edge off a little. Ensure you take another pint of water to have by the bed for the morning.2. The more sleep you can achieve the less your hangover will be. The human body repairs itself while sleeping. (Since having kids I now see how important this one is)3. Avoid caffeinated drinks. I know that a strong coffee makes you feel good temporarily, but tea and coffee are diuretics and you will dehydrate further.4. Eat a massive breakfast. I don't care if you think you can't stomach it. Stop being a baby. This breakfast should be high in protein and fat (a fry up, of course).5. Smoke a joint. Best. Hangover. Cure. Ever. (although don't make the mistake of thinking it is a good idea to have one before bed, Ape. You know this only makes matters worse)6. Keep drinking water and MTFU.EDIT (as pointed out by Nakers): 6a. Have a wank (or better still persuade someone else to take on the role of nurse and do it for you). This will release endorphins in the brain. It also feels nice. 7. You are now ready to start drinking again. Play nicely.
(tangledupinbluewhat will survive of us is guffs, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:47,
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I would dispute point 3
regardless of how much of a diuretic something is the net gain outstrips any dehydration
(Bonzodog29is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:51,
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It is my belief that any gain is temporary
and that when it wears off you will feel much worse.
(tangledupinbluewhat will survive of us is guffs, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 9:54,
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If I was a pedantic arse
I would suggest that drinking any fluid you will only experiance a temporary gain (otherwise you would never dehydrate at all)

But that would be me being somewhat of a prick
(Bonzodog29is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:06,
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If I was forced to only pick one from this list
It would be a close call between enough sleep and smoking a joint. The joint would probably win.
(tangledupinbluewhat will survive of us is guffs, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 10:06,
Reply)