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"Stereotypes about personality and gender turn out to be fairly accurate: ... On the binary Myers-Briggs measure, the thinking-feeling breakdown is about 30/70 for women versus 60/40 for men." ~ Bryan Caplan

@Sparrow
Enneagram 3 views life as a video game. they want to get the highest score possible

ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
ENFP
5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
SEE-Fi
Papa Bear
Motivation: Dark Worker
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Chibi Seme
MTG Color: black/red
Male Archtype: King/LoverSunburst! "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche"I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

here are some quotes I posted on perC that I feel capture 3s pretty accurately

@Wake
I think it is because 3s lack a sense of intrinsic value. they don't grasp the concept of self love and acceptance for it's own sake. to a 3, they think that surely these things are conditional, so they spend their lives looking for positive external feedback. feedback to "measure" their worth or give them worth in the first place. these things could range from
- beauty
- status
- various abilities (high intelligence, good at sports, possessing a brilliant soprano singing voice)
- high external metrics (such as grades, income etc)

essentially, the 3 is looking for proof
- proof that they are worth something
- proof that they've "earned" what they have. for instance, when a 3 sees a confident person, the tendency is to think "what did he do that makes him so confident?"
in reality though neither of these things need proof. you can to love yourself, you can choose to feel valuable, you can choose to form a positive self concept. and that's all the reason you need, because you choose to.
a healthy, self actualized 3 is one who can get back in touch with this idea of intrinsic value and becomes a human being as opposed to a human doing. they will still be very motivated, ambitious and seek accomplishments, because even a healthy person, this feels good, but this tendency is kept in perspective by the knowledge that they are fine just the way they are and don't need to prove themselves to the world for the sake of self worth.

@Boss
you're a 3 who is knowledgeable of the enneagram. would you say this is an accurate description?

@JuliaRhys
you're considering 3 as your core type. does this sound like you?

3's self perception is based off of external standards. the opinions of others are just one of many possible external standards (and one which is more likely to appeal to 2 wingers and Social instinct doms)

precisely. 3s have an uncanny ability to form this ideal person in their head that they try to emulate. they learn how to talk like them, dress like them, do what they do, become an expert in what they're interested in and even think the way that ideal person does. the amazing thing is, they are able to do all of this and get all of these results from a completely subconscious motivation that the 3 is often completely unaware of themselves. depending on what that ideal person is like, they could be anything from Michael Jordan, David Bowie, Barack Obama or even Richard Dawkins. not every 3 has a demeanor like Tyra Banks of Bradley Cooper.
one thing I think that is undermined is the intelligence of the 3 in their ability to adapt so precisely to a situation without even having to think about it. because of this, almost anything a 3 desires in the outside world is within it's grasp.

ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
ENFP
5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
SEE-Fi
Papa Bear
Motivation: Dark Worker
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Chibi Seme
MTG Color: black/red
Male Archtype: King/LoverSunburst! "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche"I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire