a) Crack onto every nurse, especially those looking like Hattie Jacques
b) Pull the emergency cord in the bog because you thought it was the light switch (I have done this)
c) Start a thread on STW with just the word "undertaking" in the title, sit back and enjoy..
d) Buy something you don't need on eBay
e) Enjoy the tranquility
f) Scream blue murder as to why the hell you don't have a TV.