The Duchess of Cambridge who was photographed by a paparazzi with her "norks" out on display and Prince William spraying her naked body with water, is providing "stiff competition" to any other news story that may mean the end of civilisation by 2013. For the past week the world (except Britain where the photos have been banned) has been treated to pages and pages of a young wealthy couple sunbathing in a holiday villa in southern France. Now thanks to a photographer, these photos are being shared by millions of people. So far the only criticism of the images is that Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and heir to the British throne, has kept his crown jewels hidden in a pair of ugly shorts. Shame Prince Harry wasn't there to join Kate in a double exposure of royal flesh.

Meanwhile in the North Pole, anxious scientists fear that the disappearance of ice at the North Pole will lead to a mass migration of Polar Bears to Canada and Russia looking for jobs. This has alarmed the local Grizzly bear populations to....oh, forget all that. A special edition of British Royal Boobs: England's monarchy at its nudest has just been dropped at our global warming monitoring station. Turn to page....KNOCKERS!