Douglas Todd: The life-giving benefits of anger

Even Aristotle thought anger could be good for a person

Aristotle believed anger exists to protect us. In the never-ending battle between right and wrong — whether disputes over coffee bar lineups, work problems or fair taxes — anger can be a bodily reminder that something is out of alignment.

We are confused by anger.

We frequently feel it; whether it’s slight irritation at a frozen computer screen or blind rage at a boss. And we are often told such feelings are bad for both ourselves and our loved ones.

In our therapeutic North American culture, many try to erase anger by going for a walk, detaching from it through slow “breathing” or calming it through prayer or meditation.

But what do we do about so-called “legitimate anger?” Are the liberal activists who fight pipeline expansions, bigotry and the growing gap between rich and poor — or the conservatives who rally against abortion, divorce or euthanasia — doomed to being forever controlled by an emotion that erodes their chance of a deep spiritual life?

A great deal of 21st-century people — from elementary school teachers and therapists to clergy and Eastern self-help gurus — seem to teach that sweet niceness and tolerance is the ultimate goal of human existence. They suggest moral anger wipes out the opportunity to enjoy robust emotional health.

But there is another view: That we can’t expect, and don’t even want, a life free of anger — and that finding a wise way to deal with the powerful emotion is one of life’s most rewarding quests.

As the venerable Harvard psychiatrist Georges Valliant, author of Aging Well, says: For most people “the mastery of aggression is as delicate an ego-balancing act as is the mastery of sexual intimacy.”

After all, as much as some try to ignore either their sexuality or their anger, it tends to be dangerous to do so.

In response to being mistreated by a spouse, it is not healthy to just go silent and swallow your resentment. In reaction to environmental degradation or ridiculously high housing prices, there are better options than trying to just “live in the moment” — or going to the bar.

Aristotle, the great ancient Greek philosopher, thought anger could be good for a person. In the “Nicomachean Ethics,” he wrote: “The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and further, as he ought, when he ought, and as long as he ought, is praised.”

Aristotle believed anger exists to protect us. In the never-ending battle between right and wrong — whether disputes over coffee bar lineups or fair taxes — anger can be a bodily reminder that something is out of alignment.

The trick lies in navigating the mighty emotion. As Aristotle taught, moderation, or the “golden mean,” is key.

I remember asking the Dalai Lama, a paragon of cheerfulness, if he ever felt anger.

Tibet’s spiritual leader in exile replied he often gets angry. That includes anger about the harsh things that have happened to Tibet during the occupation by Mainland China. The Dalai Lama said he deals with such understandable anger by meditating for hours — sometimes days.

Indeed, the Dalai Lama has extensive teachings about how to not let anger grow.

“When a situation does arise that makes you angry, you should directly confront your anger and analyze it. Investigate what factors have given rise to that particular instance of anger or hatred,” he writes in The Art of Happiness.

“Then, analyze further, seeing whether it is an appropriate response and especially whether it is constructive or destructive. And you make an effort to exert a certain inner discipline and restraint, actively combating it by applying the antidotes: counteracting these negative emotions with thoughts of patience and tolerance.”

Even though the Dalai Lama rarely talks about anger as a force for social justice, another prominent founder of “engaged” Buddhism — Sulak Srivastava of Thailand — is a bit clearer about suggesting there is a positive role for moral indignation.

In his autobiography, Loyalty Demands Dissent, Srivastava suggests a deep acceptance of a certain quality of anger can help us avoid “non-action,” which is an unacceptable response to corruption.

Martin Luther King Jr. had his way of dealing with anger. He emphasized the cruelty with which U.S. whites had collectively treated blacks. But, in his non-violent civil disobedience, King made a point of clarifying his anger was directed toward a system — and did not involve actual hatred of the people who are acting unjustly.

Like King, John Cobb Jr., one of the century’s leading progressive Christian philosophers, says anger is a natural emotion, not to be denied, but reflected upon.

Cobb makes a major distinction between a healthy response of anger and the destructive

reaction of hatred. “It is OK to be angry, but don’t let it lead you to act in destructive ways. And don’t feed your anger.”

Even though Cobb has immense respect for the way many blacks and aboriginals have sought reconciliation in the face of horrible mistreatment, he said it’s not life-giving for those who have been oppressed to “dwell” on it.

“Rage destroys any possibility of love. Anger can motivate thoughtful action for change. Rage overwhelms thought and often leads to lashing out in ways that are destructive of both others and oneself.”

Like Aristotle, Cobb suggests being “philosophical” about anger. As he reflects on the terrible evils of history, Cobb reminds himself that it is often not entirely clear who are the exploiters.

“Many of us recognize we are also exploiters. Viewing the situation in this way dulls the intensity of anger and enables me to keep on keeping on.”

In the face of contemptible behaviour, Cobb doesn’t want people to resign themselves to it. So he suggests rejoicing in those rare times when the powerful do not exploit; when repentance and improvement prevail. We can be guided, he says, by a “sense of righteousness that is never satisfied, but that still finds joy in positive changes.”

Going further, Cobb worries that the planet is now truly on a path to “ultimate catastrophe.” Instead of being angry at those leading us over the precipice, he notes some choose to “eat, drink and be merry” without concern for the long-term consequences. But that makes them part of the problem.

An alternative to such nihilism, Cobb says, is to be aware that it is “fully appropriate” to feel anger toward those who are “making a terrible situation worse. Hating them, however, is useless, and it damages us. Directing our energies toward making a positive difference is the best response to thoroughly legitimate anger.”

Clearly, anger resonates on all levels, including the geo-political. However, to end this reflection on the spirituality of anger on a more intimate note, I turn to Canada’s first Nobel Laureate in literature, Alice Munro.

When Munro was recently asked why she sets her stories in rural Ontario, where she has had her home most of her life, she adroitly answered: “Because I live life here at a level of irritation which I would not achieve in a place that I knew less well.”

In other words, Munro believes she should not run away from her frustrations; the things that set her off. As one who writes about “the underbelly of relationships,” she instead quietly cherishes angers, great and small.

From various ill tempers she is able to discern crystalline truths, which she transforms into teachable art, cherished by millions.

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Aristotle believed anger exists to protect us. In the never-ending battle between right and wrong — whether disputes over coffee bar lineups, work problems or fair taxes — anger can be a bodily reminder that something is out of alignment.

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