Is this a kink? Or a problem.

This is gonna be kinda hard to explain, not by embarrassment. More of just, I don't know. It's really kind of fucking weird.

I'm a straight guy, in a relationship for about a year or so but I've noticed I can't get off during sex/masturbation/ect unless I'm thinking about another dude having sex with my girlfriend. It was never the thing before, I only started to realize. At first I only noticed I was doing it when it was just me on my own, enjoy myself with myself. I'd see these dudes she used to talk about, or kinda had a 'thing' with, or basically cheated on me with with her. Having their way with her and it's the only way I could get off when I would masturbate usually. Then I noticed a couple of times it was the only way I was able to cum during actual intercourse with her. I really don't know if this is just a really fucked up kink I'm having or a problem I should be worrying about.

Gold Member

I think you have formed a habit, that's all. It is easy to fall into the same fantasy time and time again if you know it's a sure thing to get you off. I know, I was in a rut for a while there I had to think of my cyber lover to have an orgasm, even when my husband was making love to me.

The habit can be broken, it's all about mind over matter. Force yourself to zero in on the good feelings you are getting from your girlfriend. It is not an uncommon fantasy for a man to think of his woman with another man, so don't stress over that, just try to keep things in perspective and think in the here and now not in fantasy land.

And yeah, I know it's a common thing for guys to fantasies about their woman with another man. I just was worried it was getting a little excessive and I don't know. I'd like it to stop, thank you, I'll try that.