I'll just have to face it...no one is ever going to speak French to me...and the bleedin country is just over - la Manche - just a croissant throw away from the most beautiful country in Europe with the most beautiful language in the world (apart from Welsh)...I give up...Je jeter le towel dedans!

Why don't French people like me?

Is it the crabs...it is isn't it!

C'est les crabes.

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.