THE GIRL WITH BIG TEETH - bob jacobs

THE GIRL WITH BIG TEETH

bob jacobs

The new girl had big fucking teeth. People say fucking when they mean very or really, but this girl had really very big fucking teeth. All morning no-one spoke. No-one laughed. They dumped the new girl next to Old Lil. Lil went home mid-morning claiming period pains.

Lunchtime, people squeezed wholemeal sandwiches between their lips and snorted friendly-bacteria yogurt up their nostrils. I went to the vending area to fetch a Kenco decaff. From out of nowhere these big fucking teeth appeared and said hello. I mumbled something and ran back to my desk, sloshing coffee.

I've never heard so many people hammering their keyboards in this place as they did that day. Productivity soared.

The next morning Mrs. MacTwitchett from Human Resources came by and said the new girl had left. Everyone smiled. They really very fucking smiled, showing off their dainty teeth. Productivity plummeted as we joked our way through the day, laughing with mouths agape. Lunchtime, people chewed their sandwiches with mouths stretched impossibly wide, balls of half-chewed bread balanced on their tongues in a manner that would have shamed our parents.

SUBMIT

By submitting your flash fiction or artwork to DOGZPLOT, you are granting us permission to use your words and/or images in our online literary journal, in print, and for use in any press ads or promo for DOGZPLOT.

Additionally, if you foresee a time in the future when you will be seeking literary representation through an agent or applying to MFA programs or applying for academic teaching positions, please consider not submitting your story, as opposed to submitting it, then after being published, expecting us to remove your story from the site. We feel you and we love you and wish you power. But it's goddam annoying.