Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Beware of Cuckoo Friends

I got an urgent phone call Sunday afternoon from the eight-year-old daughter of a friend. A shelf in the garage collapsed and hit her mother in the head. I grabbed some stuff and hurried across town. I arrived at the house and found my friend sitting on the couch. She looked dazed. Since my friend is deaf I always bring my iPad so I can type to her. My sign language skills are severely limited.

When I got to my friend's house there were other people there. It was chaotic and a little scary. My friend needed to go to the hospital. I wanted to call an ambulance but that was voted down. I agreed to drive my friend and her daughter to the hospital. I had to pick up her husband along the way. Somehow in the confusion my iPad got left behind on their living room couch.

I took everyone to the hospital and babysat their daughter in the emergency room waiting room. After a few hours their little girl was bouncing off the walls. She needed toys to play with. I wished I had my iPad with me because that would at least give her something to do. So, I got my friend's house keys, drove back to the house to get some toys and grab my iPad.

I unlocked the door, looked on the couch... no iPad. I looked everywhere. No iPad. Where is it? What happened to it? I searched everywhere, but it was gone. Someone stole my iPad while I was taking my friend to the hospital!

The worst part is, my former friends probably know who took it, but they are covering for the thief. I'm not surprised by this, just really disappointed and angry. Have you ever had a feeling you were friends with a loser? I learned the hard way that being friends with losers is not worth it.

There are cuckoo people in this world and they come into our lives pretending to be normal people. But they're not. Common cuckoos look like normal birds. But they are different.

Instead of building a nest for her eggs, the cuckoo flies to another bird's nest. She knocks one of the eggs out and lays a single egg in its place. Then she flies away. The host birds have no idea this invader laid a new egg in the nest, so the parents incubate the cuckoo's egg along with their own eggs. Then the cuckoo chick hatches earlier than the other eggs. It pushes all the unhatched eggs out of the nest until only the cuckoo chick remains. The host parents feed the cuckoo until it reaches adulthood. Then the whole cycle happens again.

People can be like this. I've watched people fly into my life and start taking things from me. They take my time, compassion, energy, money, and peace of mind. The more I give the more a human cuckoo takes. The only way to get rid of cuckoos is to throw them out of my life. This time the final shove out of my life came when my iPad was stolen right out of their house and neither of them thought it was a big deal.

It is a big deal.

It's not JUST about the iPad, which is replaceable at the Apple Store. What was special about that iPad was my husband gave it to me as a gift. The hardware can be replaced. The gift can't. That moment in time is now gone. I'm sad and angry. I feel betrayed and upset. And they didn't even tell me thank you. They didn't offer to help me replace my iPad. Their attitude was, "Sucks for you." I considered filing a police report, but decided against it for reasons I'm not getting into here.

Cuckoos. I'm not a helpless warbler who has no choice but to look after a cuckoo bird. I can choose to evict the cuckoos from my life. I'm just sorry I had to have my iPad stolen before I remembered, "With friends like these, who needs enemies."

I'm slowly settling down inside. I feel like I ate an electric mixer and it is stuck on high. Team Smith pooled together our money today and we were able to order me a replacement iPad from the Apple Store. My family and true friends helped me through this stressful mess. Joy in the middle of panic. I'm hanging on to it while I kick the cuckoos out of my life. Goodbye and good riddance.

I have no idea why Find My iPad didn't work. It never sent an email message letting me know it was found. I wish I knew what happened to Mayor MacCheese the iPad. I just know Chili Mac the iPad and I are grateful to be together.

Marie Smith

Marie Smith is a writer, cellist and talented public speaker. She is the author of Life Music: Lessons Learned At The University of Catastrophe. And her new book Life Etudes: Studies in Thriving At The University Of Catastrophe

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Disclaimer

I am not a doctor. I do not have a medical degree. Nothing on this site qualifies as medical advice. These are lessons I'm learning at the University of Catastrophe. What I find to be correct answers in my classes may not be the right answers for you.

If you are enrolled with your own major at the University of Catastrophe, please consult your doctor, therapist, attorney, auto mechanic, veterinarian, plumber, dietician, arborist, acupuncturist, manicurist, mother, local dairy council, shoe shine boy, or other equally qualified professional, for advice and assistance.

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