When my beloved husband, Jurij, died of cancer in June of last year, the greatest joy of my life was thereby torn away from me and my old familiar and deeply cherished life at his side changed abruptly once and for all. Now here I stand, thrown back completely on my own, trying to understand it all. The old truehearted and deeply connected twosome, Jurij and Rebecca, and my old way of life no longer exist. And yet the Earth unstoppably continues to go round and round, because everything is subject to eternal change, i.e. the evolution which has come forth and continuously proceeds (unfolds/develops) out of the causal, evolution-conditioned creational-natural laws and recommendations, including Jurij and me. Everything changes and alternates, everything becomes and passes – and life goes on. So from now on I must continue my life-journey without my beloved partner. Every now and then compassionate human beings with sympathy (feelings for others) enquire about my state of wellbeing, since Jurij has ‹transitioned› (changed over) to another level of existence. They are interested in knowing, how I manage to process everything! Well, I have good days and days that are less than good. When I am focused on my work during the day, I usually feel good. That is probably the reason why so many human beings throw themselves into work after a loved one or someone near to them has died. During my free time, however, things are a bit more difficult, because that was the primary or quality time I used to spend together with Jurij, as well as the time we spent together completing our daily tasks, doing simple chores, and especially during our meals. However, there were also the moments of countless conversations about everyday things, including a rich variety of spirit-teaching-themes, which we used to nourish and cherish during our walks in the English Garden, as well as at night before going to sleep, or during our excursions on foot or by bicycle along the Isar River, in the free nature (great outdoors), and with friends and relatives. I can therefore hardly go anywhere here in Munich without thousands of memories of Jurij awakening in me, especially in the English Garden, where we spent untold precious moments of our free time together. Shortly thereafter, the reality sinks in that he is gone forever and the growing awareness and becoming conscious of this fact hurts me deeply, especially when I consider that he will never again accompany me on an excursion, never again burst in through the front door with a warm-hearted ‹halli-hallo› and never again smile at me with the glowing warmth of those sparkling eyes and that mischievous grin of his. After that, a feeling of emptiness sometimes unfolds in me, and I must consciously struggle (i.e. make conscious efforts through life-affirming thoughts) to regain the joy of living. It seems hardly possible to ever be able to laugh and be happy again, when the beloved partner is no longer present in the current material-realm of existence, in order to share with one the many joys of life. Be that as it may, in the meantime I have nonetheless laughed again and have also felt joy again. So I did not die with him – at least not completely. Apart from that, I still have a good many things planned in this life. With the newly founded FIGU-Landesgruppe in Germany alone there are always plenty of things to do. So for the time being I simply trust in the fact that as time goes on the memories of Jurij will become less painful and that one day I shall be able to think of him – whenever and as often as I want – without falling each time into sorrow, but rather feeling thereby the deepest, most profound joy and gratitude that I was able to discover, research, learn, experience (live through) and work out so many valueful things in this life together with this unique (truly distinct) and for me very special human being. My beloved Jurij has laid down all the burdens of life and his spirit-form is now in the other world and is preparing itself in evolutive slumber for its reincarnation, while Jurij’s consciousness-block1 has passed over into the overall-consciousness-block in the other world and is developmentally changing itself (evolving) into pure neutral energy, from out of which a fully new consciousness-block with a fully new personality will emerge, which then during the reincarnation of the spirit-form will be born together with it in a new human body. My darling 'Puck' (a term of endearment for Jurij) could therefore not be better off. With regards to the passing (transition/conversion) into the other world, the following poem written by Herman Hesse fully corresponds to my way of thinking (mentality):

To be able to fall asleep when one is tiredAnd to be able to drop a burdenOne has carried very long -That is a delightful, a wonderful thing

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1... The consciousness-block in the material-realm comprises the material-consciousness; the mental-block [an aggregate block of units - not to be confused with a blockage] consisting of thoughts, feelings, psyche; the consciously directing (steering/controlling) individuality-block, consisting of ego/I, personality, character, memory; the material-subconsciousness-block consisting of subconsciousness including memory; the respective unconscious-forms.

... The spirit-realm comprises the creational-consciousness; the spirit-energy-Wesenheit-block consisting of the fine-spiritual-perceptions, Gemüt (the spirit's counterpart to the material body's psyche); the consciously absorbing (learning/assimilating) individuality-block consisting of the [fine-spiritual-perception-based] impulses of the ego/I-consciousness, the personality and the character, which are stored in the storage-banks; the creational-subconsciousness-block consisting of subconsciousness including storage-banks, the respective unconscious-forms.

Life and Death and the Evolutive Progress of the Consciousness

One becomes deeply conscious of the mortality and the death when a loved one is dying, and this state of (oneself) being conscious changes everything. One no longer thinks about the life without thinking in equal measure about the death and the sense of the life. As a student of the spiritual teaching I think about how all life in the eternal cycle of becoming, passing and re-becoming developmentally changes (evolves) to ever higher and finer forms in order to guarantee the eternal continuity in all things, namely the all-life-giving spirit and its evolution. Even when I see a small child today romping about unburdened and full of zest for life, I cannot help but think that his/her previous personality once had to say good-bye to everyone and everything that was near and dear to him/her, so that the new personality here and now, so joyful at heart and completely unburdened of that life which has passed, is able to discover, research and learn everything anew, that is from a higher and finer as well as completely new perspective, and thus continues to evolve together with his/her eternally existent (i.e. ongoing) spirit-form. As the surviving partner of a dearly loved human being who has passed away, I now search more intensively than ever before for that which is eternally lasting (permanent/ongoing) in me as well as in all life, in order to find unswerving support (balance/stability) and to draw energy and power from it. As a student of the spiritual teaching, I know that truth, love and wisdom never perish; therefore I also know that all values of being human in the real and true sense, such as true love, calm (equanimity), peace, freedom, happiness, equalisedness (balance/equality), knowledge, wisdom and consonance (harmony) exist eternally. And that is why I know in turn that the spirit-form of my beloved departed life-partner – and therewith all the values that Jurij and all his previous personalities ever worked out (i.e. realised/acquired) for themselves – now continue to exist and continue to evolve in the other world. And that is why I think more often and more intensively (thoroughly/exhaustively) about the death and the otherworldly death-life. I know, for example, that the spirit-form of Jurij in the other world is not able to perceive in a spiritual-fine-sensitive-feeling-based wise anything from the material-realm, not even when I dream of him or ponder him in a state of deep reflection (meditation/observation and consideration), but is only able to fine spiritually perceive via the Gemüt of the otherworldy spiritual-realm, when I am completely relaxed in a state of deepest connectedness and absolute certainty of myself coexisting (living and breathing together as one) in every existent life-form in the cosmic unity (oneness/harmony) of all life and existence, because according to the spiritual teaching, only a we-consciousness exists in the other world and the existing spirit, which allows its energy and power to also play (take effect) in the overall-consciousness-block, is only able to take in (absorb/assimilate) impulses of true love from the spiritual Gemüt (i.e. the spirit’s counterpart to the material body’s psyche).

Within seconds after his passing, everything from Jurij’s life was processed through the other-worldly conditioned (effectuated/created) spiritual overall-consciousness-block, whereby his old consciousness with its personality and its ego/I-consciousness was dissolved into an absolutely neutral energy-form of values (i.e. energy-block of consciousness-forming values), from out of which a new consciousness with a new personality will proceed (arise/emerge). This new consciousness with the new personality will then at some point incarnate in a new human body together with the reincarnation of the timelessly existent spirit-form which gave life to Jurij and all his former personalities. This however will only then occur when the evolutive values have been changed (i.e. converted/raised) to a new highest possible relative level of evolution and – together with the essences of the cumulative values already acquired from all earlier lives – have been worked up (i.e. refined/upgraded) to a new highest level of evolution. When this has happened, then the spirit-form will be reborn (reawakened/ reincarnated) in a new human body together with a consciousness-block, newly created (i.e. completely renewed) again through the overall-consciousness-block, and with a completely new personality. Until then however, some of the knowledge and some of the things learned and collected (gathered/ accrued) must still be completely worked up (refined/upgraded) through the neutral energies and powers of the overall-consciousness-block. This takes place when the evolutive learning-consciousness of the spirit-form in the spirit-realm and in its overall-consciousness-block has spirit-energetically, that is to say, spirit-individually processed all the values acquired (earned/gained) in the material life. As opposed to the conscious consciousness in the material actual life of the human being, which functions, learns and evolves on the basis of thoughts and feelings, there is no thought-and-feeling activity given in the otherworldly realm of the spirit-form and the overall-consciousness-block. In the realm of the otherworld, only an individuality-based, spirit-energetical spirit-energy-perception is active (effective), from out of which also a spirit-energy-learning and a spirit-energy-activity results.

In the death-life, there is simply no material brain and consciousness and consequently no conscious thinking, no feelings and no memory. What is given relates only to all forms of the spirit-individual activity alone. Out of this I gather that the processing of all still unprocessed values out of the past life of a deceased human being, through his/her overall-consciousness-block in the otherworldly spiritual-realm, is roughly comparable with the processing of all unprocessed daily values out of the actual material existence of a human being, when he/she dreams in his/her sleep in the realm of this world, i.e. in the actual life. In other words, when the conscious thinking, and with it, the rational intellect is switched off, then everything is reviewed and processed subconsciously, so there again will be a ‹clean slate›, so to speak, and after waking up the material-consciousness will again be unburdened and capable of new thoughts and their new feelings as well as new deeds and actions.

Conscious Thinking Versus Fine-Spiritual-Perception-Based ‘Thinking’

According to my knowledge the human being is able to think and to feel in a fine-spiritual-perception-based wise in his/her sleep and also while steeped (absorbed/immersed) in deep thought (deepest inner perception and sensibility), when the material-consciousness is deactivated (rendered still/quiet/calm). According to the information from ‹Billy› Eduard Albert Meier in the book ‹Law of the Love›, the fine-spiritual-perception-impulses from the spirit-realm are unmeasurably higher, finer and ‹more constant› (107000 times light-constant) than the thought-and-feeling impulses from the material-realm (299,792.5 kilometres per second, i.e. speed of light). So the fine-spiritual-perception-impulses, i.e. the fine-spiritual-perception-based thoughts and feelings from the innermost Wesen (innermost nature) of a human being, i.e. from the human-creational spirit-form, reflect the highest possible relative state of evolution of the human being, and these unmeasurably high and fine impulses from the spirit-realm unfold (spread out /expand) with the speed of Creation (107000 times the speed of light) in the entire universe and beyond (i.e. in the otherworldly realm of the creational truth), where they are uninterruptedly (i.e. constantly) present in all existence as the quintessence (i.e. highest possible values) of the love, the knowledge and the wisdom gained (earned/acquired) by the human being and thus exist in all life in the entire universe and beyond. These creational-human values and the energies and powers gained therefrom are that which in turn give the innermost nature, i.e. the creational consciousness of each human being its distinctive colour-clang (timbre/ swinging-wave-frequency) and radiating power (radiating energy of spirit-light) within the Creation2, i.e. the universal consciousness, and thus give expression (form/appearance) to its level of evolution and effectuating (creating) power within the entire we-form of the Creation.

When the human being therefore consciously thinks and feels, the material-consciousness in him/her works in the best case at the speed of light and it is conscious of itself. However, when the human being perceives in himself/herself spiritual fine-sensitive feelings by shutting down (i.e. deactivating/relaxing) his/her ego-steered conscious thinking and feeling, as is the case, for example, when the human being sinks into sleep, into hypnosis (=state of deep relaxation and highest concentration), into a trance or into meditation, then he/she can, in a fine-spiritual-perception-based wise, plunge into (i.e. focus on and connect with) the all-permeating, harmonic swinging-waves of the Creation, i.e. the universal consciousness. Albeit only then, when the unmeasurably higher and finer creational-spirit-energetical individual-consciousness of the spirit-form is working in a fine-spiritual-perception-based mode. This in turn is only possible through the ongoing conscious efforts of the human being to find and follow the creational truth (i.e. the effective truth of reality) in the life-awakening and consciousness-forming wisdom of the creational laws and recommendations, in order to therethrough live and evolve in the consciousness of true universal love and hence with deepest connectedness and certainty of oneself coexisting in and with all existent life-forms in the cosmic harmony (unity/oneness) of the universal life. In this wise the human being can become conscious of himself/herself in an individually-based form as a part of all existence and in connection with his/her spirit-form also as a part of the individual spirit-energetical we-consciousness of all spiritual life. It is however not possible as long as I live for the creational individual-consciousness of my spirit-form and the creational individual-consciousness of Jurij’s spirt-form to meet via the impulses of the spiritual storage-banks, i.e. the spirit-energy-conditioned storage-banks of our respective overall-consciousness-blocks. This is also not possible, for example, during a dream, under hypnosis, in a trance or in a state of meditative concentration. To perceive something in a fine-spiritual-perception-based wise is only possible via the Gemüt of the fine-fluidal spirit-form-realm when I dwell completely detached (relaxed and impartial) in quiet observation and consideration and give (align/direct) myself (i.e. my attention) to the all-connecting, harmonious swinging-waves of the stillness and therewith to the creational truth – i.e. the true life and the true universal love of the Creation – which pulse through all and everything in the entire universe and beyond. Then I can receive impulses from out of my memories of Jurij as well as from Jurij’s storage-banks (i.e. from his consciousness-based fluidal powers stored in the things and works he left behind in the material-realm of existence) and from the storage-banks of his overall-consciousness-block in the otherworldly spiritual-realm, in which all and everything from Jurij’s present life is stored. So I can dream of him and grasp with thoughts and feelings through the power of my love for him also the impulses striking me from out of the memories and the storage-banks created by the swinging-waves of our ‹true love› – i.e. the deepest spiritual-fine-sensitive-feeling-based connectedness – which touch and stir me deeply.

________________________________________2The Creation is identical with the universal consciousness. It is the most enormous mass of spiritual energy in the universe and is unmeasurable in its wisdom, its knowledge, its love and harmony in truth. The Creation is the way of the life, it is the nature, it is light and fire and observation and consideration; the Creation is the consciousness and it is ever-present. The inner and outer body of the Creation is the universe. The Creation is an enormous, neutral, energetic and evolutive Wesenheit BEING, which is not a Wesen as such, rather a Wesenheit as a purely natural state of energy, a naturally evolutive spirit-energetical activity-energy. As a natural spirit-energy-form the Creation Universal Consciousness is a spirit-energy-form purely based on and existing on causal evolution, out of which also the causal evolution-based creational laws and recommendations are given. Quotes from 'What is the Creation' by 'Billy' Eduard Meier (BEAM) Excerpt from Voice of the Aquarian Age, No. 89, December 1993).

Searching for the Deceased Loved One

I now often ponder the life of death, i.e. the death-life, because the eternally constant (lasting/enduring) part of my beloved Jurij, i.e. his spirit-form with its overall-consciousness-block, now dwells in the otherworld (spiritual-realm) and continues to evolve there, and because I miss him so very much and have great longing for him. In order to preserve, honour and cherish the memories of Jurij with his eternally ongoing (ever-existing) spirit and to be able to continue to perceive his love in a fine-fluidal and spiritual wise in me, I always search for him within myself and in all life-forms around me. I search for his love and his mildness (gentle nature), for his understanding, his generosity, his joy of living and patience, for his tireless drive to explore, research and fathom, for his perseverance, his humour, his humanity (true human qualities) and for all the other high values (virtues) and high-value (noble) characteristics, skills and qualities, which I learned to so deeply treasure (value/appreciate) about him during the course of our life together, so that these values shall live on as a shining example for me and never be forgotten. It is such values in particular and especially the love which raise one up again out of the deep abyss (void/emptiness) of such a painful loss and lead one upwards to the life again. In English one often speaks in this regard of ‹growing pains›. This means that the growing and ripening (i.e. developmental process) of a human being in the course of his/her lifetime is often very painful. This includes most especially the loss of a beloved human being through the death, which causes a deep tear in the psyche of the ones left behind. And yet, it is still possible to grow from this and to gain (reap/win) something positive out of it, if one is not broken by it, but instead rises up above it by processing (i.e. learning to understand and accept) the loss. Above all else, the power of love is able to grow and evolve out of this, when the cognition in one ripens to certainty – as explained by Billy extensively and with great empathy (deep feelings for others) in the ‹Law of the Love› – that the tiny part-piece (constituent part and individual piece) of the Creation, which gives life to the human being, namely the spirit or the spirit-form, which continues to exist and evolve eternally, «lives and breathes together as one (i.e. in unity/concord/harmony) in all and everything that exists in the entire universe and beyond, and thus in fauna and flora, in the fellow human being, in every material and spiritual life-form irrespective of its kind.» Thanks to this truth-cognition, I therefore know that Jurij’s spirit, i.e. his spirit-form, lives on and continues to exist in all life. So when I miss him, I search for him, that is for all the values that have so deeply endeared (connected) him to me, within myself and in all life-forms around me. And every time I hear the whole-hearted (true-ringing) laughter of a child or witness the bubbling vitality and adventure-lust of an adolescent, or when I experience the calm, patient and persevering nature of a seasoned personality, I recognise Jurij therein. In the springtime, I recognise and quietly listen to his cheerful nature in the joyfully purling streams and rivers; I feel the mildness of his Wesen (inner nature) in the summer breeze that gently swirls around me, and I feel the radiance of his love in every beam of sunlight that warms me and time and again delights me, or when it falls through a raindrop and breaks into beautifully iridescent (sparkling rainbow-like) colours. Jurij can therefore be found everywhere: «Because in the Creation everything is one, everything is simply life, everything is ‹un-lose-able› (i.e. inextricably connected) and indestructible, and all life, once it has been created, is of all-great-timely existence» (by ‹Billy› Eduard Albert Meier, BEAM).

Greetings from the Pear Tree

In November of last year (2010), I returned home from shopping one day and parked my bicycle in the inner-courtyard in front of our apartment-house. I briefly looked up into the azure blue sky and thereby noticed the grand old pear tree in the inner-court of the adjacent complex, the branches of which rise high above the courtyard-wall that lies in-between and are visible from our yard. Jurij and I photographed the tree time and again over the years and knew it in its blossoming splendour in the spring, laden with fruit in the summer, draped with golden foliage in the autumn and covered with snow in the winter. Now it stood there bereft of foliage and its gnarled black branches stood out clearly against the azure blue sky. When I saw the tree, I quite suddenly and very intensely seemed to feel the presence and nearness of Jurij. It seemed as though he and the tree were suddenly one and wanted to comfort me: «Look here Rebecca, I am still alive. I have only cast off my earthly garment and now rest in dreamlike stillness in the womb of the Creation until spring, when I shall once again awake completely renewed and full of power and blossom in new spring splendour.» The experience was very intense (deeply stirring) and effectuated (created/caused) a profound calm in me. After that I went into the apartment completely relaxed and thought about it. Was the inner-experience I had just lived through an impulse from my subconsciousness, triggered by my longing for Jurij? Was it a fine-spiritual-perception-impulse from the all-connecting universal love of the Creation which had come forth from out of my innermost Wesen (innermost nature) or perhaps even as an impulse from out of the realm of Jurij’s storage-banks? Or was it possibly an inspiration (idea) from a fellow human being with sympathy (feelings for others) who thereby wanted to comfort me? To be quite honest, I do not know where the impulse originated. However it appeared to me as though all life within me and around me – even the nature and the good old pear tree – had fine-spiritually perceived my state of consciousness (loss) and wanted to help me overcome the pain. At the mere sight of the pear tree, I seemed to somehow feel Jurij’s Wesen (inner core nature) and love and was profoundly touched (moved/stirred) thereby. Having lived through that experience in my inner self and innermost Wesen (innermost nature) has affected (changed/influenced) me deeply and I will never forget it.

Looking to the Future

What doesn’t hurt me at all after the passing of my beloved husband is contemplating the future, according to the motto: Always look ahead and stay focused on the effective truth of reality! So when I want to make myself happy, I sometimes think about where my successor-personality and the successor-personality of my former life-partner can meet anew in the next life. Perhaps they will meet in the Semjase-Silver-Star-Center. Who knows? One thing is certain though: Wherever and whenever they may one day meet again as completely new personalities, they shall once again seem deeply familiar and closely connected to each other and have a deep spiritual fine-sensitive feeling that they have known each other for very long, and surely they will once again have new uplifting conversations and spark (trigger/effectuate) in each other new fine-fluidal swinging-waves of happiness. Perhaps they will even enter into a new bond – as friends, life-partners or whatever – and once again in the next life discover, research, learn and work out many new things together and tread new paths together and keep on evolving together. Such thoughts are naturally very comforting to me.

Processing the Unfathomable During Dreaming

In November of last year, I was invited by my sister-in-law, Tita, to a traditional American Thanksgiving dinner which she and her family had prepared especially for me. Just like her brother, Jurij, my sister-in-law also takes great pleasure in delighting her fellow human beings with thoughtful gestures and by indulging them with her cooking skills. It was an enchanting winter evening with the first snowfall of the season outside and a cheerful ambience full of warmth and congeniality amongst us inside. She and her family have been a special comfort for me since Jurij died. Actually we comfort one another, because they too were hit hard and are deeply affected by his death. We are able to talk with each other about our precious memories as well as about our painful loss and the processing of our grief. After our festive dinner with a chestnut-stuffed turkey stewed in its own juice, which my sister-in-law had splendidly prepared, we sat around the table in a cosy and comfortable atmosphere and talked amongst other things about Jurij. My brother-in-law told us that he had dreamed he had met him down by the Isar River where he had seen him walking along the riverside. Jurij thereby was in a genial mood and told my brother-in-law, in his roguish way, with sparkling eyes and a mischievous smile on his lips, of the many and manifold adventures he had experienced (lived through) together with the death since his passing, which my brother-in-law, upon awaking however, had largely forgotten again. He did remember, however, that Jurij had told him that he was under way (i.e. on the move) a lot, especially along the Isar River. Thus the very place where he and I had spent so many precious moments of our life together. The Isar River is an old faithful friend which accompanied us through many ups and downs of life and bestowed (gave/granted) us innumerable valueful moments on our journey through life – including moments of deepest inner stillness and contemplation in consonance (harmony) with nature, and moments filled with silent veneration, but also fascinating adventures and companionable togetherness in the stunning beauty of the free nature. My brother-in-law then told us that on their way along the Isar River he and Jurij had met up with the death, a journeyman (companion), with which Jurij was now constantly under way, and that the three of them had taken a boat trip together, parts of which, however, had been quite unhinging and fear-arousing, because every now and again the Isar turned into raging whitewater-torrents with dangerous rapids and waterfalls. As their boat was about to plummet over the edge of a gigantic waterfall into the unseen depths below, Jurij remained completely calm and said to my brother-in-law in a fully composed manner, with his typical roguish smile, that he had nothing to fear, because the death was indeed (really and truly) with them, and he had already passed (completed/lived through) innumerable adventures with him. And indeed nothing happened to them during the spine-chilling fall into the depths. After that the three of them sailed around together companionably upon the Isar River. My brother-in-law reckoned, after he had given the dream some serious thought, that Jurij is faring very well, wheresoever he is, and that he shall meet him there again one day. I found his dream highly interesting, because it raises questions about the mysteries of death and the ongoing (i.e. continuing) existence in the otherworld (spiritual-realm), which every human being must solve within himself/herself.

Experiences on the Threshold to the Other World

On the day before Jurij’s passing, peaceful swinging waves of love unfolded in our apartment, effectuating (creating/triggering) in everyone who was present, thereunder friends and family members, fine-fluidal swinging waves of profound peacefulness and harmony. We guided and directed ourselves in accordance therewith and allowed ourselves to be woven through and carried by the gentle, all-connecting swinging waves of the love. Jurij was brimming with happiness and wanted to touch, kiss and embrace everyone. It was as though he wanted to make a last declaration of love to each and every one of us. To reciprocate this love, the friends and family members who were present strived untiringly to bring Jurij a little joy. They showered him with endless grace (kind-heartedness), tender loving care and attentiveness and as a sign (gesture/expression) of their love they brought him small gifts such as pleasingly fragrant flowers, incense, tea, music recordings, poems and little treats. I have never before perceived in a fine-fluidal and spiritual wise the all-impulsating, all-permeating and all-connecting power of the love in and around me so intensely. Later in the night when Herbert, Johann and Richard were visiting us, Jurij told us a little about his experiences on the threshold of death. He was in a harmonious mood (i.e. in tune/ aligned/ connected with his true inner nature and innermost self) and hence in the face of the greatest physical weakness impressively sovereign in his equanimity and self-control. Amongst other things, he told us that the structures in the room sometimes changed and he could thereby look into another world, in which there were fine-fluidal swinging waves which he could see and hear. According to him, the swinging waves differed in size, colour and clang (tone/sound), however all of them flowed into each other and formed a singular unit. In the background everything was blue and from out of the entire unit (overall block) of swinging waves, shimmering and sparkling in different colours, wonderfully beautiful music sounded. All of a sudden Jurij raised his arms, moved them like a music director and began to merrily sing along. After that he told us that a ‹man› was standing in the corner of the room and had been there for quite some time already. He obviously felt a need to tell us about his experiences at the threshold to the other world and it made him happy that he more or less succeeded in doing so. Every now and then I ponder what he told us on the evening before his parting, because his descriptions afford me a valueful insight into the natural process of dying and into the very last phases of the actual material life of a human being before the transition (i.e. going over) of the spirit-form into the realm of the other world; a natural and highly valueful experience which every human being must go through one day.

Father Death

In BEAM’s book ‹Rebirth, Life, Dying, Death and Sorrow› it states that the human being who is dying is accompanied by ‹Father Death› – also called the ‹Reaper› or the ‹Constant Companion of the Life› – across the threshold to the other world in the light, i.e. in the truth of the Creation. Considering Jurij’s experience during the process of dying and living through that experience in all realms of his existence (the material, his inner and the fine-fluidal), I ask myself whether ‹Father Death› is to be understood purely symbolically as a mere term, notion or concept for the death, or whether a deeper truth with its reality exists behind, i.e. beyond this term. I also ask myself whether the fine-fluidal manifestation of a ‹man standing in the corner›, which Jurij perceived shortly before his passage (changeover/ transition) into the other world and to which he held his arms outstretched, before he fell into a deep state of agony3, should be classified as a mere figment of the imagination and hence as pure illusion. Or does this fine-fluidal manifestation, which is often perceived by human beings who are dying, possibly relate to the own inner world (consciousness) of the human being, to his/her entirely own innermost nature, in other words, to his/her true innermost self, which reveals itself to the dying human being, who is immersed in deep reflection (meditation/ observation and consideration), as his/her spirit-energy-Wesenheit-manifestation? It certainly makes sense to me that some of that, which Jurij perceived at the threshold of death, arose from his own thoughts, powers of imagination, hidden wishes, etc., and therefore quite clearly corresponded to his imagination in the state of agony, such as the wonderfully and beautifully carved gigantic wooden-pipe, which, according to Jurij, had come out from under the bed and was wearing a Bavarian hat. Nevertheless, so many human beings from every corner of the world – shortly before their passage (changeover/transition) into the other world – tell about the perception of a fine-fluidal manifestation which accompanies them into the light and which appears to each of them according to their individually formed mentality (attitude/state of consciousness) in the form of a loving father, a loving mother, a beloved friend, an angel, etc., that I would like to delve somewhat deeper into this subject-matter in order to learn more about this fine-fluidal manifestation. As a student of the spiritual teaching, I know that the material-consciousness, i.e. the material personality of the human being who is dying, is completely dissolved when its spirit-form and its consciousness-block escape (pass/stream over) into their respective levels in the other world. And I also know that a human being at the threshold of death possesses (i.e. has available to him/her) certain sensitive capabilities, because in the state of agony his/her consciousness wafts (floats/swings) back and forth between the spiritual-realm and the material-realm. On the basis of this knowledge, the inspiration – i.e. the fine intuitive impulses from out of the subconsciousness – now ripens in me that the often perceived fine-fluidal manifestation of ‹Father Death›, which accompanies the dying human being over the threshold to the other world, is in truth a part of his/her imaginings (conceptions/visualisations) of his/her consciousness with regard to his/her entirely own (true inner) self, that is to say his/her central (core/creational) consciousness, which corresponds to his/her own spirit-form with its overall-consciousness-block or, in other words, to his/her own spirit-energy-Wesenheit-manifestation, which the human being, that is to say his/her consciousness, is not able to consciously perceive in the actual material life.

________________________________________3Agony (the so-called death-struggle): When a human being dies, then, in the state of agony, he/she loses the connection to the rational intellect. Thereby a barrier to a window into that fine-fluid-sensory world opens for the human being, which goes very far above all that which can be perceived with the pure coarse-substance-senses. The deep, i.e. the deepest state of agony, corresponds to a state of the least brain activity. In this state, the brain opens its capabilities, which are hidden and suppresed in the current life, to the human being. (Excerpt from "The Supernatural or the Fine-fluid-sensory or the Fluidal powers" by 'Billy' Eduard Albert Meier (BEAM) in FIGU-special-bulletin No. 38 under Reader's Questions, August 2007).

Evolution of the Spirit-Form

According to the spiritual teaching, the fine-fluidal spirit-form of the human being passes over into a half-material-realm – which is called the ‹High Council› in the spiritual teaching – only after about 40 to 60 million years of development-time in the material-realm, i.e. in human bodies. In this phase, the spirit-form is developed so strongly in its spiritual life-energy (i.e. its spirit-energetical activity-energy) that it needs only a wavering half-material body, but no longer a coarse-material body and therefore no material-consciousness anymore for its further development. After that, in the course of about 56 million years of further development-time, the creational-human spirit-form developmentally changes itself (i.e. grows ever stronger in its love, knowledge and wisdom) and enters the Arahat-Athersata-level4, whereby it only then becomes the pure-spirit-form. Only during the passage or going-over as a pure-spirit-form into the next higher level, called ‹Arahat Athersata›, does the overall-consciousness-block, which was created by the spirit-form, then meld (merge/unite) with it. Until then, however, the creationally-given spirit-form of the human being will, on the one hand, unceasingly continue to evolve over countless rebirths through the ongoing developmental change (advancement) of the material-consciousness, i.e. of the human consciousness-block, in order to then, on the other hand, develop itself ever higher in its cumulative energies and powers without continual new reincarnations in the half-material-realm of the High-Council-level. And this will continue until the spirit-form is one day powerful enough during its changeover (passage/ transition) into the Arahat-Athersata-level to meld (combine/unite) with the overall-consciousness-block created by the spirit-form at the beginning of its active and learning existence and to enter the higher level, Arahat-Athersata, as a pure-spirit-form, in order to unify (coalesce/become one) with it. Not conscious of its entirely own self, but rather conscious only as an individual-consciousness, the pure-spirit-form evolves (changes itself developmentally) over aeons through all the pure-spirit-levels – starting from ‹Arahat Athersata› and progressing right up through to and including the highest level, ‹Petale›5. The former creational-human spirit-form thus developmentally changes itself to higher and higher and finer and finer pure-spirit-forms, i.e. to pure-spirit-energy-Wesenheit-forms, until one day it is able to meld (combine/unite) with the Creation as a pure-spirit-energy-Wesenheit-block. Thereby it then becomes one with the Creation in the true sense, in order to further develop itself as a part of the Creation, until one day, after reaching its highest possible energy-form, the Creation itself sinks (recedes/falls back) into slumber, i.e. the universe falls into contraction, in order to re-awaken after seven great-times6 of evolutive slumber and to further develop itself as a manifoldly higher and finer Creation-form in the endless evolutive progress of the becoming, passing and re-becoming. «The Creation Universal Consciousness is a very high spirit-energy-form, which can be referred to as an individual spirit-energy-Wesenheit, but which is not a Wesen as such, rather solely a very highly developed causal and evolutive spirit-energy-form, which, as such, constantly accumulates further, namely, through the achievemts of evollution of all that which has come forth through its causal and evolution-conditioned laws.» Quotation by BEAM from 'What is the Creation?'). With the current consciousness-based evolutionary level of Earth humanity, the human being, that is his/her consciousness-block, is nowhere near being capable of perceiving his/her own spirt-form with his/her own consciousness-block, because between the spirit-realm and the material-realm an insurmountable separation exists. Nevertheless, the dying human being, whose consciousness in the state of agony wafts(floats/swings) back and forth between both realms, is able to look into one realm as into a mirror, which allows him/her to perceive in a fine-fluidal wise, via the fine-fluid-senses of the inner-consciousness, the so-called 'Father Death' - often called the 'Reaper' or the 'Constant Companion of the Life' - at the threshold to the otherworld. The whole thing also reveals that the continuity and the progressive development (advancemnt) of the spirit in the spirtual-realm is actually given. The human being, however, is not able to perceive in a consciousness-based wise, via the pure coarse-substance-senses of the material-consciouness, his/her entirely own self, his/her own spirit-form, i.e. his/her own spirit-energy-Wesenheit-manifestation and its overall-consciousness-block, when it, the spirit-form, separates itself from the material-consciousness, i.e. from the material personality, and escapes (passes/streams over) into its respective level of the otherworld.

________________________________________4Arahat-Athersata-level: The first of a total of seven pure-spirit-form-levels in our Creation (constituent part of the spiritual teaching).5Petale-level: The highest of a total of seven pure-spirit-form-levels in our Creation (constituent part of the spiritual teaching).6Great-Time: "The Creation itself lives during seven great-times in a conscious, creational state. - After this, it settles down to a slumber during equally man great-times, but in a sevenfold self-multiplying form, in order to then wake (keep watch) and create again during seven great-times in a 7-fold multiplying form. (One great-time = 311 040 000 000 000 Earth years; seven great-times = 2 177 280 000 000 000 Earth years, also called an eternity, and 7x7 great-times is one ALL-GREAT-TIME." Quotation from 'What is the Creation' by 'Billy' Eduard Albert Meier (Excerpt from Voice of the Aquarian Age, No. 89, December 1993).

One Last Wish

Before Jurij died, he asked me to read aloud at his funeral service a passage from the book, ‹The Rose-Coloured Crystal› by ‹Billy› Eduard Albert Meier which has given me comfort again and again during the difficult time of sorrow. The following is a short paragraph from that passage (pages 167-169) which is from the wonderfully beautiful and profoundly inspiring fairy-tale: ‹The Spring-Princess›:

«Everything in the nature and in the Creation is life, and no truthly death is in it. The death is only a long sleep and a transition into the next new and even more blossoming life. No doubt everything changes therein, the coverings and the dress, however nothing passes away. And the shrubbery and bushes no doubt shed blossoms and foliage, however the secret power of the life blossoms further and bedecks everything again with vibrant green and widely fragrant blossoms and flowers, when the new spring and new life burst through. Separate the shrub from its roots and burn it; you therewith burn only the coverings, the true life-power however remains undestroyed, and it rejuvenates itself again in the coming spring from the remaining root system. And just as the wonderfully fragrant rose wilts and withers in the autumn, only to sprout buds anew in the following spring and to blossom yet again as an enchanting flower, so also the human being in the autumn of his/her life casts off his/her old and withered garment, his/her material earthly covering, which moulders to dust, whilst the spirit continues to live, enters into the realm of the other world and bides its time there, before it is born again in a new covering, in a newly born new human body, as the eternal change (progression/ evolution) of the brazen (steadfast/unwavering) order of the Creation has regulated this for every life-form in the entire universal space.»

True Comfort Rests in the Knowledge of the Truth

The greatest consolation for me since Jurij’s transition (change/passage) into the other level (world/sphere) of existence is the knowledge about the truth and hence the certainty in recognition of the reality that the spiritual-realm in the otherworld, where Jurij’s spirit-form with its overall-consciousness-block now dwells until the next rebirth of the spirit-form together with the birth of the new consciousness-block with its new personality, is the actual (i.e. really and truly existing) home of the entirely own, innermost Wesen (innermost nature) of every human being. And it comforts me to know that in the realm of the spirit-conditioned (i.e. spirit-energy-effectuated) storage-banks the best-possible harmony, true love, the knowledge and the wisdom and all the high values belonging thereto are stored, which Jurij himself acquired (earned/gained) throughout his life and which shall live on for all time and thus eternally continue to exist and evolve.

So rest in peace, my beloved one, and dream beautifully in that wonderfully melodious dream world of fairytale-like harmony. In quiet moments of blissful stillness, I listen deep into the silence of my inner world (consciousness) for the music of your Wesen (inner core nature) which is so near and dear to me. The melody of your love still touches strings in me which effect (create/generate) fine-fluidal swinging waves of the deepest, most profound joy and gratitude, because I live in the certainty that your true love exists in all eternity and thus resonates everlastingly in me as well as in all life throughout the entire universe and beyond with the unique colour-clang (melodic character/swinging-wave-frequency) of your innermost radiant nature (spirit-light-energy).