Eight Things to Talk About Instead of Last Night’s Game

1. This photo, from the Providence Journal, is a thing of absolute beauty. I love the look on the face of the guy in the Sox jersey, who we can only assume is “with” the girl Manny’s hugging. It’s an official Man Law: If Manny wants to hug/feel up/purchase a small island for our female significant others, then he is absolutely allowed to do so. As you can see in the photo, this guy assumes the proper position: about a foot away, allowing Manny plenty of room to get his feel on.

2. Manny has apparently dipped out of the top three outfield spots on the All Star ballot, putting his streak of starting in the last eight summer classics in peril. C’mon, people, the All Star Game is insufferable enough as it is; do we want to make it even more gawdawful by letting greasy Magglio Ordonez take Manny’s spot? Get up and vote, even though it’s all fixed and the starters are actually chosen by an elite group of scientists stationed on the Moon.

3. I have a feeling this Curt injury thing is gonna get ugly. I also believe when he comes back, we’re gonna get “guns’ blazin’, hellfire and hide your daughters” Curt.