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#Kongi@80: 10 Reasons why W.S is a Vampire

A few days ago, some friends and I were talking about Wole Soyinka at 80, someone asked why at 80, Kongi looks like he is not a day over 50? Then someone mentioned that he has a charm that makes an old person look young and fresh. But as you know, we at adebayoadegbite.com are scientific beings and do not believe in such primitive clap trap. Therefore after extensive research, which included, but was not limited to a journey to the mount of ORIJIN, we have found out that Kongi might in fact be a vampire, a day walker to be precise. Here are ten reasons why.

10.
The most obvious sign is the youthfulness, with the amount of times he has been arrested and his own personal tastes and escapades. He looks thirty years younger than he should be. Someone called it the Dorian Grey Syndrome; I say he is just a day walker
9.
An obsession with the dead/undead, Abiku, the poem, the “half child” in “A Dance of the Forests” the young “Bukola” in “Ake” Kongi is definitely trying to tell us something
8.
His Style
Even though Soyinka wrote “Ake: The Years of Childhood” as an adult, the memories are too vivid for the narrator to be a child ( given that the W.S we know has such an active imagination, childhood experiences like that would have been eroded by time). The witty humourous tone of the book gives the impression that the person who wrote it was much older than that he claimed to be, much like an adult watching children at play.
7.
More on his style, works like “The Interpreters” and “the man died” dealt with issues that are still as topical today as when he wrote them. So either Nigeria has not changed at all since independence or Soyinka is an immortal who has seen it all before Like the Vampire Armand in Anne Rice’s “Queen of the Damned” the second option looks more plausible
6.
Kongi has been a master of disguise and disappearance. Till today the identity of that famous masked gunman who invaded Radio Nigeria has never been discovered. Besides how else could he have escaped into exile from under the watchful eyes of Sani Abacha’s goons?

5.
Vampires are rumoured to be highly intelligent because of their ability to read minds. Kongi is the only black African to win the Nobel Prize for Literature. Is someone joining the dots now?
4.
His Use of Imagery.
“The Interpreters”, “A Play of Giants,” “The Man Died,” and “Kongi’s Harvest” are works that depict a cruel leadership, sucking life out of its followers. Either Kongi is trying to refer to what he is doing on a metaphorical level or he is just trying to justify his own indulgence in his bloody habit. You can make your pick.
3.
The hair not just perfectly white, but perfectly lustrous, how many people at his age have that kind of hair? He is a day walker, case closed.
2.
Vampires won’t go near churches, because of crosses. Kongi has had a long running beef with Christianity. What this tells the observant person is that Kongi has overcome the physical vulnerabilities of his kind to crosses but the very idea of the church still creates a fear that has been replaced by a resentment and anger.
1.
The most telling sign is that Kongi’s patron god is Ogun, the Yoruba god of iron. Anybody with a passing interest in Yoruba mythology knows that Ogun’s favourite drink is blood and he considers human blood a special treat. Kongi does not hide his love for wine, especially red wine. (If you are a Christian who has ever taken communion you should get the image). Well that sort of explains everything.

NB: I know some people will be tempted to dismiss this piece as a product of the writer’s fertile imagination and his journey to the mount of ORIJIN but I hope this piece will break someone out from under that hypnosis he has placed everyone under. He that has an ear let him hear.