Thursday, May 03, 2012

Growing in Grace Under Fire

There's a cult in Toronto who says that June 30 is the END OF THE WORLD! OMG! Surprisingly, it's not related to Harold Camping and his band of happy doomsayers, it's some weirdo named Jose de Luis de Jesus. Guess who he and his followers think he's the second coming of? Yeah, it's Jesus.

They say that once June 30th comes around, all the unbelievers will be destroyed and then the cult followers will gain special powers like flight, walking through walls, and running without getting tired. Although, why you'd ever run when you can fly is beyond me. Granted, logical thought is not now, nor has it ever been a strong suit for religious nutbags.

These melonheads think they're going to live through the End Times so the old, "sign all your shit over to me" line should work on them. "In the event that the Apocalypse does not occur on June 30th, 2012, all your worldly belongings, possessions, investments, and assets will become the property of (insert rational member of society)". Or maybe de Jesus can sign all his crap over to his ex-wife, who he has apparently already paid $144,000 - presumably cult "donations".

Things I Doubt: Ray Comfort & Kirk Cameron's ability to put together a decent argument...or a decent sandwich, for that matter; Oprah Winfrey's judgment about anything; Jenny McCarthy's anatomical conformity, by which I mean, I think she has neither a brain nor a heart; Jim Carrey's status as a Canadian - am I allowed to unilaterally decline that?; believers in acupuncture and their ability to accept that it is a fantasy; and the justness of a world where I am not rich for my truly amazing humor but Reality TV "stars" continue to rake in the cash.