tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-119256752018-02-12T23:35:07.631-08:00Assistant/Atlas: Hollywood's Young ShouldersClawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.comBlogger376125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-10301469367318052042009-05-07T20:09:00.000-07:002009-05-07T20:45:22.993-07:00Nikki Finke Is The New Hotness: 6.16Hi kids. Miss me? I'm back just because I need to do that thing where I praise people who don't totally suck. Because we could all use a little happy, no?Nikki Finke is the only journalist I can think of working the Hollywood beat who is actually dedicated to reporting the truth about it, unblurred by the studios, agents, stars or anyone else for that matter. She beats--consistently, easily, Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com109tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-56177712106828850212009-03-10T21:24:00.000-07:002009-03-10T21:40:31.769-07:00Joseph Gordon-Levitt Is The New Heath Ledger: 6.15Heath Ledger's death is a terrible loss for art.I want that to be said about me when I die, btw. And I want it to be true.The dude entrusted with his roles should be Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It goes beyond the fact they both had breakout movie roles in 10 Things I Hate About You. It's the fact that both can act and both act in interesting roles to the point where one is not quite sure what he's Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-86734620339917709232009-02-17T23:09:00.000-08:002009-02-17T23:35:04.484-08:00Why Wonkette Rules: 6.14I hate politics.I really do.I talk about it/them a lot, but only because I have to. Because politics, like media, is intimately tied to almost every important idea in 21st century America/Amurika.So that sux.If you haven't heard of it, Wonkette.com is a satirical website about politics that used to be a part of the Gawker Empire. But like many great ideas in Hollywood, they were spun off. One itsAssistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-76092471022547948452008-09-02T19:43:00.000-07:002008-09-02T20:19:19.972-07:00On Hiring Hollywood Assistants, Flamers Edition: 6.13Most offices go through assistants like Kleenex in Hollywood, and ours is no exception. So we're almost constantly hiring, it seems. I told you a bit about that process previously. Today, our office manager (let's call her Jeanette) and my friend/immediate supervisor (Sarah) interviewed this dude we'll call Richard Simmons.Now to get right to the point, let's just say that Richard was (and is) Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-68393744048045044512008-07-22T16:58:00.000-07:002008-07-22T17:17:38.514-07:00How Meghan McCain Could Save the World: 6.12John McCain's seemingly-hot-but-actually-not daughter Meghan (seriously, an unnecessary 'h'?) has become friends with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt from The Hills because apparently idiocy loves company.Now the LA Times reports that Spence and Heidi are interested in using their new connection to go to Iraq to 'entertain the troops.'Those poor effing troops.On the upside, though, this is may be Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-33789893863985480352008-07-09T15:35:00.000-07:002008-07-10T18:14:09.759-07:00The Dumb Reasons Why You Aren't Getting Hired: 6.11Recently, we've had to hire a few new people for our growing office, a couple of assistant types, basically. The jobs ain't tough--just your standard coffee-bringer-photocopying-call-rolling jobs--and thanks to the crappy economy and the lure of Hollywood, there were a lot of applicants.So I was enlisted to try and go through the stacks of resumes, help out with some phone pre-interviews, and Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-12023155558352041642008-07-08T16:25:00.000-07:002008-07-08T17:30:33.390-07:00Meet the Reason Movies Suck- Joan Graves: 6.10If you've ever wondered why Hollywood movies suck so much, look no further than the chief censor-harpy of CARA, the Classification and Ratings Administration for the MPAA (Muthafuckin Pathological A-hole "Artists").Her name is Joan Graves, and she is the reason. Defamer ran a piece on this cuntface and it brought back so many memories......Of Joan Graves eviscerating a terribly smart little indieAssistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-35863928057047875272008-01-08T21:46:00.000-08:002008-01-08T22:43:47.562-08:00Gloria Steinem Has Never Seemed More Irrelevant: 6.09I can't talk about the writer's strike--it just makes me too sad. I just wish both sides would start acting like grown-ups and get this thing over with. Instead, there's this...I know you could probably care less about an op-ed piece in The New York Times, but I just read one and it made me confused and sad. This one was by Gloria Steinem, one of the leading lights of the women's rights movement Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-69680870896100644192007-11-25T17:45:00.000-08:002007-11-25T18:41:08.464-08:00On Sympathy, Strike: 6.08The Writer's Guild is standing up for the rights of the Mash-Up Generation. (that's us youngin's, btw, who've grown up in an age where truly creating your identity from ever more disparate strands is the defining choice of Americans)That's why they're on strike.So support them.And I'd like to offer a helpful hint to studios--think about what ultimately happens if you try to crush the writer's Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-47401647217488609892007-10-11T19:25:00.000-07:002007-11-25T18:05:12.974-08:00I'm Proud To Be Gayer Than Most: 6.07On this national day of coming out, I would like to announce that I am proud to be gayer than most heterosexual twentysomething males.Because the simple fact is, gay people are awesome. As a Hollywood assistant, I know that they are at least three to four times as awesome on average than your stereotypical straight guy.Why? I don't know exactly. But really, do we ask why the sky is blue?Usually,Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-44199320088217635842007-09-05T22:13:00.000-07:002007-09-05T23:20:53.182-07:00Support Hillary and Work in Media? You're a Traitor: 6:06I apologize for the provocative title, but I had to get your attention, didn't I?Because this Hollywood assistant has something to say about politics. My generation isn't supposed to be into politics because....why again? I've forgotten if there are any other excuses for young people not being engaged besides apathy...Are there any more excuses? With us youngins being into the interwebs and Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-75049087737808498612007-08-16T18:55:00.000-07:002007-08-16T20:50:34.526-07:00Putting the Fun(bags) Back Into Politics: 6.05Still working on the new job...more on that soon...until then, this...A friend and I got to talking about politics last night and we both kinda surprised to remember that YouTube didn't even exist during the last presidential election. Funny how everyday online video has become.Anyway, a number of interesting political videos has appeared online, including Obama's "Vote Different/Hillary=1984" Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-31746415994742768932007-07-25T21:53:00.000-07:002007-07-25T21:55:43.968-07:00Getting a New Job: 6.04I've had it.I'm fed up.I'm getting a new job.Don't tell anyone.And I kinda want to move to New York so I don't have to deal with traffic ever again.They have Hollywood in New York, and it's kinda like here, right?Gulp.Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-65381892681354747752007-07-02T20:41:00.000-07:002007-07-10T00:05:03.887-07:00Then Posh Spice-Beckham Tore Out This Dude's Eyeball and Licked It: 6.03I don't usually write about the dreams I have, but I think I absolutely must write about this one. Because it's totally my subconscious trying to tell me something.In my subconscious, Posh Spice-Beckham totally tears out this dude's eyeball...and then--well, we'll get to that.Basically, in my dream, I'm walking past Kitson at 3rd and Robertson-- of course, this is dream 3rd and Robertson, so Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-75244980043818300752007-07-01T18:09:00.000-07:002007-07-01T19:29:54.680-07:00What Will Happen If the Internet Radio Equality Act Fails: 6.02First off, a special shout-out to my congressional representative, Jane Harman. You are a corrupt, self-serving, ignorant harpy, Jane Harman. You've been a horrible Congresswoman and if your district wasn't gerrymandered as hell, someone halfway competent might've knocked your self-serving behind out of Congress by now. And if you think Jane Harman is a nice, harmless old lady, let me just Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-30835382766882902652007-06-24T20:13:00.000-07:002007-07-25T21:51:27.694-07:00Internet TV's Infancy Is Awesome: 6.01Like the Sopranos, my last season ended with a whimper, not with a bang. So that's what the Sopranos universe is about, apparently.As Net TV gets underway, the Sopranos might go down as one of the best that "broadcast" had to offer.Personally, I don't think it'll go down so adverserially. Among the birth pangs are a plethora of adamantly bizarre videos and audios, and the "canon" of early Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-31221475515807160642007-06-18T17:56:00.001-07:002007-07-02T21:43:31.599-07:00Of Health Care and CompensationSorry about the long absence, kids. I know you missed me- I missed you, too. And I know you need an Atlas update. So here ya go: Still in the shadows... I've successfully manuevered an ally and friend into position as my direct boss by begging the uber-boss to hire her back. Unfortunately, sh*t still rolls downhill. Of course, now that I'm no longer the lowest person on the totem pole, I canAssistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-64634227314886264182007-04-19T19:56:00.000-07:002007-04-19T20:26:42.320-07:00Your Bosses Lie to Everyone Else, Why Would They Tell You the Truth?I did something very foolish recently.I believed what my bosses told me.I forgot that these are people whose jobs are essentially to massage the truth into an "acceptable" reality. And by "acceptable" I mean "warped beyond all recognition."And yet, when you work with people, a level of trust almost always necessarily grows between you, so it's easy to be sucked into that pit of Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-49685731188319557832007-03-12T19:42:00.000-07:002007-03-12T22:24:27.568-07:00Welcome to Venice, You Intolerant MoronsAs longtime readers know, I live in the LA neighborhood known as Venice, or sometimes more descriptively, "Venice Beach". In recent years, Venice has been slowly undergoing a process known as gentrification.Only Gehry-designed gentrification is welcome.In my building, I can see this in new tenants, who tend to be whiter, whinier, douchebaggier, and richer than the previous ones.I rode in the Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-24093953604194225272007-03-07T22:30:00.000-08:002007-03-07T22:49:19.184-08:00Not Gone, Just Out of the Country, KindaSorry, kids, I know I've been gone forever and ever it seems. I'm sorry. I really am. But apparently, I love my job more than I love you.I know, it's harsh. But the thing is, my job gives me money and you don't. You cheap bastards.So I'm focusing on that. And they've been jetting me around the world, which is nice. I'm a big fan of jetsetting, overall.Sorta. You know how Canada can be. IAssistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-1168331112698326562007-01-11T23:50:00.000-08:002007-01-12T23:28:51.794-08:0024's New Season Is AwesomeSo thanks to the ever-growing tech skills of the Roomie, the first four episodes of 24 have been torrented directly onto his G4. That would be the episodes that have their premiere on Fox this Sunday, January 14th and Monday, January 15th in 2-hour blocks. And yeah, they're awesome. If you haven't seen the show before, I highly recommend giving this season a shot. A lot of the characters are Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-1168237273849586392007-01-07T22:11:00.000-08:002007-01-09T00:27:52.526-08:00Welcome Back, It's Now 2007, AtlasHappy New Year. Mine sucked. I'm already dreading work, but thank God for Martin Luther King, Jr., and his sweet holiday which I WILL be getting off this year. Anyway, I was catching up with my many emails and this one caught my eye. Feel free to send me these questions people. But be sure to Google the blog for answer before you do. Otherwise, I may not respond at all. And I'm making no Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-1165980866846197882006-12-15T22:28:00.000-08:002006-12-15T23:15:18.056-08:00Stuff I Learned While Not Blogging for Two Weeks: 5.49Sorry about the lack of posting. Of course, no one really emailed to say they missed me all that much. You guys still visit, though, which is sweet.But here's what I learned.1) Doing exec duty/doody for awhile dulls the writing senses. As much as I thought not blogging would lead to my working on my various scripts in an attempt to get paid the big bucks for writing small amounts (and plan forAssistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-1164770889440475402006-12-01T19:19:00.000-08:002006-12-01T22:54:20.620-08:00Disgruntled NBC Ex-Employees Dish About Today: 5.48Sorry for the lack of posting lately....things in my life having been blowing up lately, from laptops to relationships and everything in between. Except the career, which has been going well, but leaves me with no time to deal with the explode-y parts of my life.As a treat for my absence, I took the time to verify some gossip that came my way....well, as best I could anonymously. And since I Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11925675.post-1164395211428175712006-11-24T10:53:00.000-08:002006-11-24T15:16:18.503-08:00Things to Do Instead of Talking to Your Family: 5.47On this Thanksgiving weekend, why not waste time on the Internet instead of talking with your family? Because really, you know you're just there for the food.So try these fun Internet time-wasters...The folks at Heavy.com are rapidly expanding their pop culture-mocking offerings. They may not have destroyed TV as we know it just yet but if they Check out this link for Heavy.com's "The Assistant Atlashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06449371306711441926noreply@blogger.com4