We had our first ever home-grown salad last night. Carrots, tomatoes, cucumber, radishes, spring onions, red onions, sweet pointed peppers and rocket. I had the olives and feta cheese on the side for a change. Oh, and a big lump of coo's erse.

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks."To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln."If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

It's not right now but lunch tomorrow, there's chilli bubbling away in the slow cooker.

In case anyone wants the recipe (I doubt it but I've typed it out now), it goes something like this (but changes every time I do it)

Tip 2 500g packets of tomato passata into the slow cooker.Open a can of lager.Chop several stalks of celery, fry them (in a big pan) on low heat until they start to smell.While celery is frying, chop two onions finely, add to the celery and cook until the onions are brown/translucent and the celery really stinks.While onions and celery are frying, finely chop as many chillies as you want (I just did 5 and it's a little wimpy).Chuck onions and celery into slow cooker, fry chillies until it feels like chemical warfare is being conducted in your kitchen (alternatively, turn on extractor fan and/or open doors).While chillies are being cooked, open tin of kidney beans, rinse and lob them in the slow cooker.Chuck chillies in slow cooker, fry mince in the pan.Once mince is browned and there's no water left in the pan, add mince to slow cooker.Turn slow cooker on, open another lager.Come back later, eat it with rice or pasta.

Ta da, nice tasting chilli (well, 4 out of 5 times I've tried it) with only a slow cooker and frying pan (and rice cooking vessel) to wash up. If you're cunning like I was tonight you can work bacon into the frying pan and have a bacon sandwich without (additional) washing up Leave well alone for a while, 8 hours may be overkill (it certainly makes lamb a little too soft) but I don't know how mince will fare.

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

The great thing about Beaker is his ability to provoke while still being decorous, or at least within acceptable rules of conduct - Qwertyuiopasd

Home made pizza, with sauce made with our own tomatoes and onions, cheese made by milking Molly... only kidding. We didn't grow the onions ourselves.

"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks."To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine."One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln."If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.-- Philip K DickOK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.-- Dr. JoyEnglish isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."