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Well, for desktop users, it's mostly the graphical flavour which is different. This may be subjective, but KDE and its apps tend to be more bloated than GNOME ones.
I prefer it over KDE because it's a GNU package (I'm a GNU fan).

GNOME applications use the gtk+ libraries for the UI, KDE is qt-based. So, the programming of the user interface is different.
But GNOME and KDE also provide services to programmers, like bonobo. Those are a little bit different, since they are implemented in different languages. (KDE is written in C++, GNOME is written in C.)

If you have to choose between both as a desktop user, you can go for your personal taste. If you like gtk, you should go for GNOME, if you like qt better, go for KDE.
If you have installed both, you can run a KDE app in GNOME and vice-versa. The only drawback is that when launching a KDE app in GNOME, KDE will also be loaded in the background (time and memory consuming).

I've installed none of them. Their startup times are hurting. (Instead, im a WindowMaker type, which is also a GNU thing. There are many beautiful apps out there which are desktop-independent.)

Try both and stick with the one you like better I started with KDE and got used to the feel of it, as well as to many of the kde apps. Gnome is a bit cleaner-looking, but you can make KDE look as simple as you want, or viceversa. On older computers, you could try something like IceWM, Fluxbox, Blackbox, ...