Americans pleased that Canadians are just as fucked up as they are

The news that Toronto mayor Rob Ford is a crack-smoking douchebag made international headlines this week, which brought to light the status of cross-border perceptions between friendly neighbours Canada and the US.

“It’s refreshing to know that friendly ol’ Canada isn’t so peaceful and innocent up there,” said William Lehman of Seattle, Washington. “Everybody knows [America] is home to a ton of bat-shit, gun-crazy, dumbbells, but it isn’t very day you hear these kind of stories coming out of Canada.”

Professor Geoffrey Arnold of Devil’s Tower University in Wyoming says that the perception of Canadians by his countrymen is likely to change from one of Inuit communities carved from the winterscape to that of a more familiar ghetto-style way of life reminiscent of many US towns.

“Not since New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner posted a picture of his pecker on the Internet have we had such a scandal to occupy our attention,” says Arnold. “And this time, people are saying, ‘Hey! It’s not us this time!’”

Generally, says Arnold, Americans know very little about Canada.

“People know they play hockey and something-or-other about their beer, but beyond that . . . not much else.”

“Oh—and of course The Calgary Stampede is the place to be if you wanna’ get laid by tramps and man-sluts in July,” added Arnold. “Everybody knows that.”