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Monday, June 20, 2016

A Queen's Necklace

I had not seen my mother in three and a half years. When I saw her, she was lying in a hospital bed and was almost unrecognizable. She had lost a lot of weight and looked pale.

The Queen's Necklace

How could I be angry at her, when she looked so weak, so tired and so defeated?
I cried. We hugged.

Intersecting Circles

After the surgery, when she came home, I showed her the quilt. Her face beamed with happiness.
And then she realized the amount of work that went into it, since she is herself a sewist.

Quilting

"Why did you put so much effort into it?"
"So that, when you look at it, you can forget your pain and feel better""It is very beautiful"
"I am calling this one RaaniHaar (Queen's Necklace)""Perfect name"

Paisley Backing

Although the surgery was successful and she has started walking a few steps every day, it will take her at least six weeks to regain strength and be fully mobile. Maybe longer.

Purple Border

I am glad that the quilt will be there to remind her that I love her so very much.
I hope that she gets better soon.

Candy Colored Striped Fabric for Binding

Thank you to all of you, who have shared my journey, shared your stories, provided love and support, and above all sent loving wishes for my mom. When I let you glimpse into my relationship with my mom, I had no idea that it would strike such a chord with so many of you.

Eye Candy

I have felt such an amazing connection to all of you who opened your hearts and let me know that I am not alone. That although our stories may be different but our hearts and feelings are the same.

Finished - just in time

Here is the truth that I discovered - even when we are hurt by our loved ones, we cannot wish them anything but happiness. Because we are not connected by that hurt.

Dimpled - after a wash

We are connected by love. And therefore their pain becomes our pain.

Light and Shadow Play

The only way to lessen our pain is to lessen theirs. I wish my mom heals quickly.
So that I may heal too.

I returned from India last week and brought back some fabric.
"What a shocker," remarked Paul. But that is a whole new blogpost.
Now that I am back, I will resume my activity in the blogland including visiting, commenting and linking :-)

Preeti, welcome home! I am very glad to know that your mom's surgery was a success and that she can be on the road to recovery. It is a very disconcerting thing to see your parent so ill and helpless. I'm so glad she understood about your beautiful quilt. Queens Necklace is a treasure in so many ways.

I gave my mother a scrappy Kaliedoscope quilt last Christmas (same pattern). She got teary eyed when she saw the label. She and my dad had collected kaleidoscopes (the optical kind), which is why I chose that pattern.

Hoping that your mom heals quickly. We had a bad scare with my mom last fall and it certainly helped me appreciate our relationship, even with its weaker points. The quilt is so gorgeous and I really love the backing fabric. I am sure your mom cherishes this gift from you,

RaaniHaar - the perfect perfect name Preeti! So much SO MUCH in this quilt in the symbolism but also in the richness of colours and design. LOVE that paisley backing and your binding is absolutely beautiful; you must share your secret with me as I believe you do it by machine no? Very happy that the trip was such a success and that you have comfort and connection with that quilt. Quilts are amazing in that way no? Your line made me gasp, no lie, as it struck such a chord within me: "Because we are not connected by that hurt. We are connected by love." So well said. :-)

I saw your quilt on the Let's Bee Social linkup and hopped over here. It is simply stunning. I've always loved this design and your choice of colors really makes the secondary pattern pop. Very beautiful!

So glad your mom came through her surgery well and that she appreciates the beautiful quilt you made for her! A gifted quilt is so much more than just a blanket, or the cost of the fabric and batting. It is a gift of love, a gift of time spent pondering and designing and creating it one stitch at a time. And your words are so true, that even when there is pain in our family relationships, what connects us to one another is still love.

Preeti, I do believe this is your best quilt yet--it is my favorite for not only the colors, pattern, and fabrics (front, back and binding!) but for the lessons you learn by making it, the story behind it. I'm so glad you were able to let go of some hurt and pain. I was a different person when I had finally and fully forgiven my mom for 40 years of hurt and disappointment. I freed myself in the release. While we might never be besties, we are more than civil and cordial, which used to be the best we could do. Now the love , laughter, and acceptance are there. I made her a quilt once (but I think it's been in a closet ever since because she just doesn't use things are "too nice" or "too sentimental"--which is one of the things I used to be hurt about, and have now accepted. I won't make her another one because I like my quilts to be used and appreciated, not put up and away. I read your most recent post as well. Sorry, frog. I couldn't promise not to complain (well, I could promise but I'd fail miserably). Heat and I aren't friends unless we're talking winter fireplaces!

I didn't realize that you were back, so I'm catching up. This quilt is gorgeous and the story of your relationship with your mom is heartrending. I wish your relationship could be less painful for you both, and believe me, no matter how difficult, she feels some pain, also. Your dialogue with your mom and her asking why you put so much effort into it is very telling. She may regret the past and feel that she doesn't deserve that effort. Saying it's beautiful may be her way of saying thank you for the effort you've put into repairing your relationship. Even mothers may have difficulties saying what is in their hearts--how do you come to terms with causing your child pain?

It seems that you've worked through much of that pain and are in a better place. Loving who you are today and realizing that your past is part of your present is a great sign. Accepting our past--including the pain--is a good way to begin the healing. You're moving forward and learning from it. I love your words: we are not connected by hurt but by our love for each other. You are a beautiful young woman and a philosopher.

It's a beautiful quilt and your mum will treasure it and remember that you love her and she you . You are so right about being connected by the love and not the hurt . As my aunt used to say "let it go, let it all go "

Thank you for sharing your story, Preeti. I understand. I think we've all had conflicts with our mothers which we've never forgotten. You're right about loving being the only way to overcome and continue...On another note, your Queen's Necklace is gorgeous! It was worth everything your put in to it - time, effort, emotion, creativity, LOVE!I hope you mother will recover well, and soon.Best wishes!

Sitting here with my morning coffee...in tears. Sad tears for your pain, sad tears when I think of my mother. Happy tears because of them both. Thank you for such a emotional journey through your quilt. I have never, ever read such a beautiful, honest, gut wrenching quilt story, nor have I ever related so strongly. Whew...now I really miss my mom...for the words never said, for the hugs and smiles that heal. Thank you for this!!! Oh, and I'm sorry you had to tear all that old backing out...healing as it may have been, but the final choice is actually perfect and much nicer with that beautiful quilt.