The first thing you need to do with your General Motors [1908-2009, R.I.P] B-Platform [1959-1991, R.I.P.] is a lift (some people use stacks of hockey pucks) so you can fit your twenty-something inch wheels beneath. And then you need to tint the windows in violation of the California Vehicle Code. Now, you’re done.

Get your friends inside and you’re ready for a slow roll down Columbus. (Menancing stares through half-closed windows optional.) Thusly:

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Of course, you can just go out and buy a B-Body if you don’t have one.

What’s stopping somebody from calling 415-553-1200 (dispatch – blocked driveways, sidewalks, etc.) or 311? Nothing, that’s why this parking strategy isn’t sustainable, that’s why drivers generally don’t make a habit of doing this kind of thing. (Personally, it’s not my style to dial, but for some people, it is – see below)

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I would agree that it’s probably no picnic trying to park an 18-foot-long vehicle at night on the Streets of San Francisco, but your ride will eventaully get vandalized, ticketed, towed, whatever, depending on the neighborhood. For example, the evening dog walkers of Specific Whites Pacific Heights all have DPT’s phone numbers preprogrammed into their cellies. They’re simply waiting to see something like this blocking their path.