Welcome to OKC! Now here are some tips

Welcome to the NBA, Steven Adams (and Andre Roberson, I guess)! We here in Oklahoma City are so thrilled(ish) you have been chosen to be a part of our team. The NBA lifestyle can be a tricky thing to get right and you’ll be sure to have some ups and downs.

So, to make things a bit smoother I have come up with a list that will not only help you fit in with your new teammates (also known as “brodies”) and make your life easier, but will also ensure big time popularity with Thunder fans. You’re welcome.

1) Get a PikePass. I wish I could say you will get immediate playing time but let’s be honest, you probs won’t. You will be sent to the D-League more times than you can keep track of and my poor husband will tweet your whereabouts more than anyone can keep track of. The good thing is the road from OKC to Tulsa and back is a very easy drive. But, you’ll need a PikePass. You can apply here. I would provide directions but you probably won’t need them because you won’t be making this trip alone.

2) Carpool. I know it’s like, super cool that you are on the same team as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook and now have their phone numbers but the people you really need on speed dial are Jeremy Lamb, Perry Jones, Daniel Orton, and DeAndre Liggins. They are seasoned Kilpatrick Turnpike drivers. Stick with them and they will get you to Tulsa your first few times.

3) Pedicures. When you’re in OKC it’s a must to get pedicures as much as possible and you’ll need to get them done at Nails by Helen. It’s where your new brodies like to go. Oh, and make sure you Instagram that. I mean, duh.

4) Speaking of Instagram, here is a little lesson on the art of an NBA athlete’s Instagram account. First of all, go get one! I checked and RealStevenAdams is totes available. Hurry! Okay, now that you are an Instagramer, make it look like you don’t care what it looks like or that you’re caught off guard. Need an example? Just take a look at this and this. Also, I need multiple angles of your gameday attire. Wait, what? You don’t take pregame photos of yourself? Well, now you do. Take a look at this one. One more tip: peace signs are all the rage. But make sure you do it sideways like this and this.

5) Wardrobe. Now that you have a nice, sizable contract with money to spare make sure you look good. There will be times you are on the bench and not in uniform. I’m sorry about that, trust me, I am. But let’s move forward quickly and talk about your gameday style. Now, you’re lucky to have Fashion Forward King, Russell Westbrook on your team so, please, take advantage of that. Daniel Orton went like, 243 games last season in the same jacket. Do not make the same mistake. This is your warning.

6) Accessories. When you are in Thunder blue or white really, really think about your in-game accessories. There are so many options for a player these days from tights to sleeves to headbands and it’s okay if it takes you a few games to nail down your selection. But I will tell you this, steer clear of the headband. You’re young, so no one will think you are using it to cover up your receding hairline (we’re all looking at you, LeBron) but the headband just isn’t something that screams cool and it definitely doesn’t say “OKC.” Here’s why. Let’s take a look at Ronnie Waste of a Trade Brewer. He wears a headband and we all see how well that worked out for him when he moved to OKC. I know people will say he just wasn’t good enough but we all know it’s because of that headband. Another person to sporadically wear a headband in his early days? James Harden. You see my point.

7) Image. The Thunder loves, and I mean LOVES to talk about, be known for, whatever, their image. For the most part, the team at least looks pretty conservative. I mean, check out Kevin Durant’s business tattoos. Very classy, obvs. Don’t worry though, if you go off and get a sleeve of tatts it’s okay. Just make sure you don’t get a tattoo that says, “The Game Chose Me.” You’ll soon come to find out that Thabo has that covered. Also, I’m not ready to have beards on buildings and t-shirts again. It’s just still too soon. So make sure you keep your facial hair to a minimum, please.

8) Thunderstruck. You know, that movie KD was in where his talent was stolen? Don’t ever make fun if it because KD was super proud of that cinematic masterpiece. And anything that makes KD sad makes me sad.

9) Handshakes. I’ll tell you this first, Thunder players take their pregame routines very seriously. Last season the NBA came up with a rule that you only have 90 seconds from the end of starting lineups to tip off, also known as The Thunder Rule. They were one of the first teams to get a delay of game technical and a source close to the situation, okay, Royce, states that they actually, probably, broke that rule at least 82 times last year. I think they tried to go faster but it was just a lost cause. So, while you are at home thinking about your first NBA game just remember, people will be watching you well before the ball is tipped. Think of something cool, grab a partner, and keep it short!

10) Past Thunderers. When you get some time on your hands go take a look at some Cole Aldrich and Byron Mullens game/practice film. And do the exact opposite of them.

Oh, by the way, there is a Cheesecake Factory in OKC and Tulsa. Is this your lucky day or what?

I am one of the first Kiwi sign ups to your forum and expect a few more. Great to see Valerie's little brother going to okc. Valerie is Steve's older sister and up until yesterday was probably still more famous in NZ than her little bro. Thats probably going to change.

I suspect OKC is going to have the best part of NZ supporting them this year so hopefully we can see a bit of OKC gear in the stores soon

Steve is a pretty focused young guy and if he follows in the footsteps of his olympic champion sister he is going to be mentally tough and very competitive.

Good stuff, Keri. I'm fine with pretty much everything, with two exceptions. Can't climb on board with "Thunderers." Never have warmed up to that, probably never will. My fashion accessory of choice here would be to simplify, and just say "Thunder players." Clean, simple, fits with everything, and can be said after Labor Day. It's the new white.

Second.....pedicures? Seriously?

Okay, I'll give you a pass on that one. We'll even make it a Pike Pass. Just because.

To all those who dogged me about saying we should play rookies more... What about San Antonio playing Tiago, Neal, Joseph, Green, George Hill, Kawhi?? Wouldn't you say that they are a playoff team with championship aspirations too?

I think you guys are missing the bigger picture here. OKC still has two Superstars, an all star talent, a top tier defensive specialist and two very good role players. WE where set before the draft. Look into the looking glass a little.

Perk cannot reasonably be traded. I think Presti has justified this by showing the masses no one wants him. It would take a lot to make him valuable to get anything worthwhile from/for him.

Standing PAT and gaining as many trade-able assets is the name of the game when you want to get value from very little, which currently perkins represents. This year Presti no has these assets to move:

Reggie, Thabo (Expiry), PJ3, Lamb, Adams, Liggins, Plies (rights), Anderson , Thabeet, Collison. Picks (he does not have to trade all these at once , nor am i discussing a blow up of the team).

That is damn near the entire team, this will give him options when he needs to unload perkins for a more productive player. Maybe even a mid level star from a rebuilding franchise?

This team will still be good but now Presti has the tools to obtain an pretty good player if he wanted to. There is reason he drafted all high impact/ceiling developmental players. If they turn out decent its pretty much a win/win and the beauty is not all of them need to work out.

@Jax Raging Bile Duct I'm thinking something involving approaching him from behind, with a large, heavy object made of wood or rock might be effective. Get you suspended of course, but hey, all life is a risk.

Perkins as it stands is just a long term salary hold that amnestying wouldnt fix. He provides value just not what we were expecting from him when he was signed. He ,with some good management , can net us something of value for the future.

@Perk-Nightmares Who are the two very good role players?? We all know this team will be great and so what but is it too much to ask for a center that can catch the ball and lay it in?? And a SG that actually dribble the ball?

@ThunderChick2010@claeys@Jax Raging Bile Duct It does kind of have a ring to it, doesn't it. I say we adopt it as part of our DT vocabulary. We'll have it replace "gravitas." I've never really liked gravitas. But I like importany.

@Perk-Nightmares@Lost Ones@Turfright If you can lockdown TP, you are an elite defender. I am sorry. Anyone in the EC will want Thabo just for that skill alone. If they beat the Heat in the ECF, there is a 50% chance they will be facing TP.