Question

how can i blend my family and keep everyone happy?

when i found out i was expecting, my fiance wanted nothing to do with me. we split and i planned on raising my child alone. i made peace with it, i was ready to do this on my own. when my son was 5 months old, i met someone. we began dating and things escalated very quickly. he told me he had no problems with me having a child and it seemed that the three of us connected very well.
over 2 years have passed and now some problems are arising. it seems my boyfriend becomes more easily frustrated with my son (he is 2 & 1/2), and he takes it out on me. expecting me to know how to handle every tantrum, every fit. my boyfriend is NOT abusive, lets just be clear, we have however been in verbal disagreements over this.
i'm wondering if it's harmful for me to stay in a relationship that seems that it may not be permanent anymore. my son loves and respects my boyfriend, and i worry that if he leaves, my son will be left confused & angry. how can i make this work for all 3 of us?

Mom Answers

OMG same here! we are now taking communication classes which has HELPED majorly. now that we know how to communicate with each other we need to work on meshing our parenting ideas. i have also found that showing my fiancee these posts have helped him to understand that its not just US- and its not just because he's not my son's biological father- it's what ALL kids do at some point! and we tend to use that as our crutch but in reality it's our communication and the enviornment WE create- i also think our personalities leave us with the lopsided one person takes charge attitude all the time because im bossy and hes more of an introvert. OH! i also signed up my boys for soccer (daddy and me soccer) has improved their bonding at insane levels in just a couple weeks!

I am in the same sit. Im engaged and we're raising my 2 y.o. together. My fiance is the most wonderful daddy to my son. However, we have MANY disagreements with parenting issues. At first, we took them out on each other but once I realized that we just have different ideas on parenting things got better! He thinks that since my son is MINE I should know what to do. I feel like I have to teach parenting classes as I am learning. It can be tough but we just keep talking and have to remember that we are all here to love each other and be happy. Still, at times its like "hello!" you are acting like a single man again and its still family time! He can often yell back: HELLO! Youre a person and not just a mommy! ITS HARD WORK!Just keep talking and trying to find that balance. I often remind him that he is being idealistic and show him all of the problems other people have here on baby center. This makes us feel not so alone and sometimes- even better! all parents married/ not go through it

well for starters being together 2 years he's the only person ur son has known you with. I had the same, we ended up getting married, I think I would sit down and ask him where he stands with that since ur son is getting older, the older he gets the harder it will be to explain what happened. If he's not staying around for good time to cut the ties so ur son can move it's easier they smaller they are. as far as 2 1/2 just wait til he's 3... and unfortuneately unless ur boyfreind has any better ideas he's been around long enough he can jump in, and I would tell him that. Yes it is not his kid but it comes with the territory. My husband just had his first bout of that with mine whos almost 4 he call my DH a poopy head. I told him you have always been a play buddy so when you try to discipline you need to be consistant. So now I try to point out examples for him as our days go on. Not sure how dads understand that we aren't here to be their friends we are here to be their parens

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