… and the funeral

Yes, yes, I know, there are reports in the New York Times etc. I was thinking more from a general historical angle. I mean, Arabs were a sea-faring people. Surely there were dead Muslims in the Indian Ocean a thousand years ago. So I guess there are rules about this kind of stuff.

Do the people of Chittagong or Noakhali — who are among the more seafaring Deshi types — learn these rituals?

Anyhoo, back to the specific case, what’s the deal with this sea burial? Official reasons don’t make sense:

a. no one would take him — just bury him in an unmarked grave in Afghan hills!

b. Islamic law says must bury in 24 hours, no time to find a plot — really?

c. grave will become a shrine — hello, this mob hates mazars.

This leads to only one conclusion: Americans should take lessons from RAB on how to do these things — the proper way would have been to show the dead body, with a revolver and five bullets (which were found in the top pocket of his salwar kameez), then issue a press report that he was killed when the terrorists engaged in a crossfire, and then claim that body went missing from the Pakistani hospital, which was suffering from power failure, and hungry dogs and jackals dragged the body away.

Will Smith should play Obama, agonising over whether to launch a cruise missile and pulverise to compound, or work with the Pakistanis to liquidate the target. Shah Rukh Khan can play Ashfaq Kayani, the Pakistani general.

Meanwhile, in a parallel plot, we will have the detective work that leads to the discovery of the target. Aamir Khan can be the undercover American agent in the heart of Pakistan.

And then, we can have Leo Di Caprio leading the Navy Seals into the firefight.