Vitamin D supplements? You don't need em. Calcium supplements? Forget it! What are you, an osteoporosis-ridden cave dweller? Oh. Well in that case, the supplements aren't a bad idea.

Have you ever given medications to your children? You gave them the wrong amount. If you were wondering why your children have experienced "certain sexual side effects," this is probably the reason, but that doesn't excuse you from wondering about that, sicko.

After the dinosaurs went extinct, mammals got bigger. Cause dinosaurs weren't constantly eating all of them. Wow, science, great job. Why even exist?

Devious scientists have learned to trick cells into transforming their very identities. Kind of like how you tricked that girl into thinking you were a "rocket scientist," isn't that right, Mike? You know you're not a god damn rocket scientist.