I still remember the first time I saw you, Peepers. You were on the prowl at Union Square. You spotted a girl sitting next to me and my friends whose thong was expose above her pants. You came up right behind her, laid on your side with no shame to your game, propping up your head with your hand and simply laid there and stared at it from about 3 feet away.

Photo by Normal Bob

It was then that I knew you were special. You weren't just any ol' Amazing Stranger. You had a mission! And your battle would not be won until you peeped every exposed cleavage that existed! Always from about 3 feet away.

There've been days when I've been at Union Square and you've popped into my mind, so I stopped, looked around and saw you off in the distance doing what you do best.

Photo by Normal Bob

And I know that whenever I see you all I have to do is look wherever you are looking and there in your view will be cleavage.

How do you do it Peepers? How exactly do you peep? Well, despite what you may be thinking the explanation is actually quite simple.

Step 1. First spot your potential peep. Usually any exposed area of flesh on a young girl. Preferably butt cleavage or regular cleavage (breast cleavage).

Step 2. Go to the peep you've peeped, stand near it and look at it, intently, for a long period of time, to the point that it even creates an awkwardness in the air that's hard to ignore.

Step 3. Just stare and stare, as if in a trance, soaking it all in like it was nutrition your body needed massive doses of, only breaking to wipe sweat off your face and looking around for something else to peep.

Step 4. When another peep is spotted, look back and forth, measure the worth of each peep, then choose the peep more attractive to the eye. (Repeat all 4 steps indefinitely)

Photo by Normal Bob

Peepers, I know exactly what it is you dream of whilst you sleep at night. Your dream is a simple one. You dream you're a tiny little mole burrowing its head down the middle of an endless tunnel of cleavage, forever and ever.

Photo by Normal Bob

I envy you Peepers. The world is your art gallery, and it's always open, always free, and always there just for you. Only you. There is no one else in this world except for you, and whoever you are peeping at that particular moment.

Photo by Normal Bob

And at the end of the day when you are finally being led away from Union Square, I know that you will not be gone for long. I know that I will be able to see you again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, doing just what it is that you do best. Doing that in which you have been given the name of Peepers. And for that I thank you.