Help

No account yet?
Registering is free, easy, and private.
Discuss in the forum, contribute to the Encyclopedia, build your own MyAnime lists, and more.

The List

8 Most Impractical Fighting Regalia

by Lynzee Lamb, Sep 1st 2012

Summer's almost over, and those of us enlisted in the great halls of knowledge are spending small fortunes on reference materials we're unlikely to crack open. Let's forget the impending doom of responsibility that September brings and instead weigh in on today's checklist: the most impractical battle costumes anime has to offer.

A lot of series offer up strange or absurd costumes, but most are feasible within the show's context. These characters, at the very least, provide a head-scratching moment if not all out question the series' staff's logic.

8. Ryoko Okami's Wolf Body Armor (Okami-san and Her Seven Companions)
Ryoko Okami of Otogi Bank gets in quite a few weird predicaments in her fairy-tale parody universe due to her business of taking on 'everything-except-the-kitchen-sink' odd jobs. In episode 5, the tenacious Ryoko agrees to take care of some marauding delinquents. Her enterprising pals decide to back her up by designing and equipping her with “Wolf Body Armor”. The armor itself is pretty lackadaisical, sans any real protection qualities, but its yowling Kitty Knuckles take it over the top.

7. Sasori's Hiruko Puppet Armor (Naruto Shippūden)
Sasori was obviously off his rocker when he decided cadaver puppeteering as a career choice. The maintenance on those rotting corpses must be awful, but imagine one you climb inside. Enter Sasori's favorite puppet, Hiruko. Hiruko is armor and a weapon. The impracticality of living within a dead ninja, nevermind the smell, is only exacerbated by all the crazy poisonous needles and shrapnel that shoot from every orifice and a giant scorpion tail that Sasori somehow controls.

6. Thanatos (Saint Seiya)
The entire crew of Saint Seiya's deity warriors could be on this list. Their armor designs exemplify the meaning ‘fashion over function’, and Thanatos is no exception. His armor includes every single accessory attachment known to mankind: a multi-spiked helmet, giant spaulders, a winged cape, and plated robe. The audience can write off his ability to carry the sheer weight to the fact that he's a god but the thing is crafted in a way that would prevent him from turning his head, much less doing anything as strenuous as combat.

5. Naga (Slayers)
The voluptuous Naga wears very little armor in favor of showing more skin, but she's a mage and close-quarters combat isn't exactly her forte. No, Naga's biggest head-scratcher isn't her revealing outfit; it's her giant spiked spaulders. The impractical adornment sometimes stabs Naga in the face during spellcasting, yet she never seems to give a second thought to changing her attire. As they say, beauty is pain.

4. Luna Luna (Queen's Blade: Rebellion)
Any fantasy artwork fan within the last 20 years is familiar with the chainmail bikini phenomenon. Luis Royo made his living selling art of warrior women in barely-there armor. That said, I don't think Royo would ever have drawn-up Luna Luna from Queen's Blade: Rebellion. Devoid of any real armor, Luna Luna makes due with a sheer shawl, an underwire bra, and a “horn” attached to her abdomen via a G-string of beads. I'm not sure what battle Luna Luna is geared up for, but she'd be at a disadvantage for any involving combat, even against her scantily-clad compatriots.

3. Nereids (Daphne in the Brilliant Blue)
The Nereids are a group of bounty hunters in post-global warming future. Most of the Earth is now water, and that is the only logical reason I can come up with why these girls fight crime in revealing underwear. Maybe it's really hot outside? Although, 15-year-old Maia's casual attire is a heavy sweater dress. The audience could suspend their disbelief if their missions took place swimming in the now vast ocean, but that isn't the case.

2. Don Krieg (One Piece) One Piece villain Don Krieg's golden armor reveals a lot about his character traits. Armed to the brim with guns, explosives and every manner of weaponry, the suit reinforces Krieg's quantity over quality approach to battle. However, like most of the series' cast, Krieg is a pirate and for some reason it never occurred to him that waltzing around in giant steel armor in an environment where drowning is a not a rare, but an extremely common event, might be a bad idea. His brilliant gold accoutrements would have this captain sinking faster than a bikini blonde in Jaws.

1. Erza Scarlet (Fairy Tail)
Erza owns hundreds of different armor, each providing unique abilities and an even odder aesthetic. It's hard to choose which is the most hindering in battle. There's the excessively heavy but somehow still flies armor (Heaven's Wheel, Adamantine) and the magic resistance bathing suits (Flame Resistance, Sea Empress). How exactly does armor protect a body part it's not even covering? Erza would likely be better off casting magic and fighting in her more battle-sensible Heart Kruez regalia, even if it is off the rack.

The new poll:
Everyone ready to charge into battle? Well, you might need to if you want to win the heart of your favorite girl in our next poll: What is your favorite Rie Kugimiya tsundere role? Is it magic casting Louise of The Familiar of Zero? The Palm-Sized Tiger of Toradora!? Vote in this week's poll and describe your favorite moments in the forum.

The old poll: Taking a third of the vote last week was reformed bad boy turned world's greatest teacher Eikichi Onizuka with a lead over auto-hazard Yukari Tanizaka of Azumanga Daioh. Here's the full break down:

PONYCAN USA launched a few months back with two shows: Denki-Gai and Yuki Yuna is a Hero. Executive Director Kazuyoshi Fukuba answers a few questions about what to expect, and what's up with those prices.― PONYCAN USA is the newly-minted US distribution arm of Pony Canyon, which has been in the Japanese media business since 1966. PONYCAN USA follows the example set by Aniplex of America, in that th...

Shinichiro Watanabe's zany sci-fi showcase for his artist pals winds up on bluray today, loaded with special features in a limited edition with a hefty price tag. Mike Toole investigates.― Space Dandy is a series full of magic-- a magic that first reveals itself late in episode 1, during a sequence in which the show's titular hero and his new pal, Meow, are forced to run away from a pack of jumbo-si...

Find out if you won!― Thank you (again) for entering our contest (again). Winners: Patrick Nakasone, Honolulu, Hi Hiddi Jordan, Bailey, Mi Saul Diaz, Arleta, Ca Watch for our next give-away coming SOON! In the meantime, head over to SpaceDandy.com to find out more about FUNimation's awesome Space Dandy sets.

This little-seen family adventure about a group of tanuki living in Kyoto has careful writing and beautiful scenery; Nick Creamer thinks it might just be a modern classic.― In the guidebook accompanying Eccentric Family, series composer Shotaro Suga speaks frankly of the difficulty of condensing an entire book into an anime, and the question of where to even begin telling the story. “There are just ...

Every good fantasy series has a few incredible elf ladies on display. Today, Lynzee decides to finally share the elf.― The term "bombshell" was coined, very appropriately, during World War II to refer to the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell, and other sex symbols of the era. There aren't any elves in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, but there are plenty of wild, voluptuous fantasy women wielding swor...

Deadman Wonderland is a dark, unsettling look into a private prison abusing the system for the whims of the Warden and a few governmental higher ups.― Ever since 1864, a “wonderland” has been a world where the rules of logic do not apply, a carnival that can be by turns fun and frightening. Deadman Wonderland has been playing with that definition since its first volume, and now in its seventh we beg...