Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for WomenFor the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting.

Cooking is women's duty, and men have no need nor patience to do so. Nonetheless, there are some occasions when men have no helpmeets (Genesis 2:18) to serve them. A hunting expedition is such an occasion, but the real reason why I am starting this thread is because I am deeply moved by the abuse and neglect which Brother Cranky Old Man is suffering right at this moment. (Will you join me in a minute of prayer for Brother Cranky's well-being in this dire situation before reading further? ... Thank you.).

Hence, here is a simple recipe which can be made over open fire; ideally over a bonfire in the woods, but an indoor fireplace will do, too. I am including a very basic men-only version of the recipe in bold, and an expanded version for females in grey. Please note that I am not providing quantities as this is not a baking recipe, so you just add ingredients and spices to taste.

Directions:1. Place potatoes in the ashes - not too close to the actual fire/embers, but somewhere where ash is still quite warm - it will take a while. 2. Cut meat in cubes. (I'm assuming you already killed and skinned it at this stage).2a. Mix the meat with the marinade and set aside for 15 minutes.2b. Cut the vegetables in pieces and sprinkle with olive oil and salt.2c. Prepare the hot sauce by mixing all ingredients in the blender. If flavor too hot add more milk and peanut butter. If flavor too mild, throw another couple of hot peppers.3. Put the meat (and vegetables)on the skewers.4. Place the skewers over open fire. Please note that when following the recipe over indoor fireplace (see picture below), this step needs to be performed when there are plenty of hot embers but the fire is small.

The fire should be smaller than this to avoid food getting too burned on the edges. Note the potato slowly cooking in the front.

5. When the meat (and vegetables) is done, remove from fire.6. Potato should be also done at this time. (Check if soft with the tip of your hunting knife; if burned by the embers, it will be hard on the outside but soft inside).6a. Add hot sauce and you are done!7. Eat!

Like I said, fire was too tall and the food got a little bit too burned, but it was still delicious!

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-11-2019, 06:36 AM

Wow, that actually sounds edible. I think I'll try it.

THE MOANS CHILDREN Adelaide Eunice RushCrusher(FISHING ACCIDENT)Truth Lloyd Mildrew Angina(DIED IN A FIRE) Scooter Bud CarsonBobby(DIED IN A FIRE)Modesty(SLAIN BY A BULLET) Boomhauer Donald GrenadineLysol(SUCKED BY A TORNADO)

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-11-2019, 07:35 AM

What a glorious recipe Sister Basilissa - and try cooking that with wind or solar power. In an age where the phrase "bringing home the bacon" is being banned because of "toxic" masculinity, no doubt some vegan SJW libtard is going to have a meltdown - and we can all celebrate.

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-11-2019, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

What a glorious recipe Sister Basilissa - and try cooking that with wind or solar power.

I did try, once, the latter. Let's put it this way: when the time necessary to boil a small amount of water (just enough to boil Cranky's eggs) finally aproaches, one is already past the hunger stage, and solely in the mood to torture and kill the inventor of this contraption!

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-11-2019, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

and try cooking that with wind or solar power.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Basilissa

I did try, once, the latter. Let's put it this way: when the time necessary to boil a small amount of water (just enough to boil Cranky's eggs) finally aproaches, one is already past the hunger stage, and solely in the mood to torture and kill the inventor of this contraption!

Earlier in this school year, my youngest boy Kenny had a school assignment in his "science" class (already a red flag). Apparently each student had to make a "solar cooker" using aluminum foil and other household products. I told him he should forget that sissy hippie crap and bring in our portable propane grill. His liberal teacher had the cheek to give him an F. The other kids, who God probably smote with salmonella for being tree-huggers and eating raw hot dogs, all passed.

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell! James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-13-2019, 09:06 PM

Cranky, I feel for your plight and would like to offer some assistance. You see, I know a female person who will come to your home, cook, clean, give you baths, even do your shopping for you. All this while remaining completely quiet. Her name is Jing and she hails from China. She is honest, hard working, and lives in your area. Just say the word and I'll fix it up.

She doesn't like loud noises so you'd have to keep her locked in if you went to do target practice. Some noise cancelling headphones would probably do the trick.

Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611: “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-13-2019, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrotherLarry

She doesn't like loud noises so you'd have to keep her locked in if you went to do target practice. Some noise cancelling headphones would probably do the trick.

I assume the noise-cancelling headphones are for Brother Cranky, to block out the wailing?

Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-13-2019, 10:32 PM

This thread makes me very uncomfortable. On the one hand, I like meat and potatoes so that's good. On the other hand, a woman is telling me what to do. Not only that, but a woman is telling me what to do and it's supposed to be HER job. Stop the femsplaining, I don't approve of it at all.

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-13-2019, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

This thread makes me very uncomfortable. On the one hand, I like meat and potatoes so that's good. On the other hand, a woman is telling me what to do. Not only that, but a woman is telling me what to do and it's supposed to be HER job. I don't like it at all.

I am very sorry that I have triggered you, Brother Toole. As I said, the instructions for men are to be used solely in occasions where there is no female to assist you (like a hunting trip - you would not want a lady whining about breaking her stiletto and not being able to walk any further, in the middle of the woods).

I will do my best to avoid triggering you in the future. Should I edit the opening post by adding a trigger warning?

Re: Simple hunting recipes that even men can cook! -
01-14-2019, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Basilissa

I am very sorry that I have triggered you, Brother Toole. As I said, the instructions for men are to be used solely in occasions where there is no female to assist you (like a hunting trip - you would not want a lady whining about breaking her stiletto and not being able to walk any further, in the middle of the woods).

I mean, couldn't you prepare something in advance for the men to bring with them? This is so awkward. I wish you hadn't brought it up in the first place.