Oh hey, I'm back from vacation so it must be time for Dior to release that Robert Pattinson ad. AT LAST. After drawing out the anticipation for the entire mother-loving summer, Dior has finally released the big one. This is not a teaser. This is not a "trailer" for the ad, nor a documentary made about the film, nor is it more teasing stills from the ad. It's THE AD ITSELF. Can you beeeleeeve it? I cannot! First the kids go back to school, and now this. Is it your birthday? No! It's just the day after Labor Day and also the day we finally see that Robert Pattinson Dior Homme ad.

So take a breath or two before clicking play. Let your hand hover over that play button and listen to your heart pound. I should probably prepare you. Here's What to Expect When You're Expecting the Robert Pattinson Dior Ad.

This is the uncensored director's cut of the ad.

Rob will be in a wet t-shirt. But you'll only see him from the shoulders up.

Rob will be shirtless. But he'll also be wrapped in a sheet and shown from the shoulders up.

Rob will kiss model Camille Rowe. A lot.

Rob will kiss Camille underwater. This is the coolest part.

Rob has the same look of intense smouldering blankness on his face the entire time probably because he feels kissing models is his birthright as Robert Pattinson.

Rob and Camille will dance at someone's bar mitzvah. Or maybe it's a general's ball.

Rob knows how to drive, but he does not seem to know where the road is.