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Mom Recreates Viral Bikini Ad And The Result Is Hilariously Real

By now we have all seen the viral Facebook ad posted by Beginning Boutique for their Hymen *ahem* Haymen Bikini Tee and Heron Bikini Bottoms. If you’ve been living under a social media rock and missed it, you can check it out here. The ad, which became famous for the model’s apparent lack of labia, garnered over 348,000 comments (to date) with women everywhere letting out a collective “huh?” There were so.many.questions.

Do you sell vagina tape to keep your flaps in?

Ok so anyone know where is can buy a new vagina???, after seeing this i think mine might be broken

That looks like a rolls royce vagina, got anything to suit a suzuki swift?

Honey, I’m no expert on the vulva, but I’m willing to bet that 99.9% of us are Suzuki Swifts.

Let’s face it, this model has either been magically photoshopped or been graced with the tightest lips ever. She has clearly never given birth. I harbor no ill will toward her and her Venus flytrap clamped tighter than a disapproving old woman’s lips (minus the wrinkles, obviously). More power to her is all I have to say. But come on, Beginning Boutique, here’s a newsflash for you: women have VAGINAS. And there is one woman who’s not afraid to show it.

Laura, of Knee Deep In Life, has the backs of the average female, or in this case, flaps.

The blogger received numerous requests from her fans to buy the swimsuit and review it. Her response?

FUCK NO!!! It’s £50 and it’s January. I can make that shit work with a superman belt and a kids t-shirt.

And she does in a hilarious side-by-side comparison of expectation vs reality she titled GOOGLE GOALS…FANNY FLOSSING…

Photo Credit: facebook.com/kneedeepinlife/

The results are, um, less than similar, and OMG I may die laughing. In order to preserve all of our eyes and prevent scarring us for life, Laura covers up with a couple of well-placed emojis. She writes on her post:

Ain’t no one got any business seeing the other side of that emoji. It’s like a hairy angry venus flytrap that smells a bit like piss and old farts.

Her husband, the unwitting photographer in the story, was far from thrilled about his wife’s newest swimwear look. In a response to a comment on her Facebook post asking if her husband “was brave enough to tackle that shot,” Laura writes how it all went down:

Me: I need you to take a photo.
Steve: Jesus, fuck Laura what are you wearing??
Me: it’s for a Google goals.
Steve: I’m sure as fuck not turned on so I’m pleased it’s not for me.
Me: take the fucking photo.
Steve: I don’t want to stand to take it. I’m watching tv.
Me: just take the bloody photo.
True story. X

You’re a brave man, Steve.

With over 27,000 likes and 35,000 comments, it would seem that Laura’s post has resonated. Women everywhere are applauding her realistic representation of the average female’s body. Real women have real curves. And rolls. And *shock* even pouty lips in the nether region. One commenter wrote:

1st picture barbie mound/rolls Royce of vaginas, 2nd picture the reality of the average females badger roadkill of a vagina bursting out of sides of her panties whilst they give the biggest buffaloes hoof you’ve ever seen….loving this 🙌🙌🙌 this is real life well done 👏👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️❤️

In a world gone crazy with women feeling like they need to erase the signs of aging and buy perky fake boobs in an effort to look “perfect,” it’s refreshing to finally have women band together in solidarity over something so ridiculously unrealistic as this ad’s vanishing vulva. The designers and advertisers of these bikini bottoms clearly have never been to the beach and are painfully unaware of what “normal” looks like. Thankfully, instead of perpetuating this false view of the female body, in particular our lady parts, women are keeping it real, and breaking down the fake facade. In the best way possible, with humor.

And I am so with you, fellow sisters. Over here. Doing about a million kegels…

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About Heidi Hamm

Heidi Hamm is a writer, wife, and mom of three. You can find her writing about the joys and insanities of parenting and life on Sammiches and Psych Meds, Scary Mommy, The Huffington Post, and Perfection Pending, amongst others. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.