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Worship
Hoy Hoy! The revelations of the Church of the Pastafarian are the answer to all my questions. Thankyouthankyouthankyou. Until now I was falsely in the grip of the Church of the FastaPastaMasta, where I made statues of Alabasta and Plasta. But that soon crumbled in the face of reason and the sheer weight of scientific evidence. Now consider this new revelation brought to me by the prophets of the Chaser in remote country called Straya. The theory of Intelligent Design is not bad, but sadly incomplete. IN FACT all the laws of physics are the result of divine intervention, (the intervenor now recognised as the FSM, phew this is getting as complex as particle physics) and everything that falls to the ground is the result of INTELLIGENT FALLING! Yes Newton sent us off in the wrong direction and must be derided. We believe that despite the randomness of the circumstances that make a little toddler trip over the edge of the cliff, that toddler is actually pushed to a sad and gooey end by the hand of god, whose fingers were accelerating the poor little thing at the constant rate of 9.81m/s/s regardless of the mass! I can't beleive the FSM would do this so there must be other gods devoid of pasta sauce and meatballs responsible for intelligent falling otherwise this gets a little personal. I leave you with one more thing to consider .. . In October 1973, Swedish sweet maker Roland Ohisson of Falkenberg was buried in a coffin made of nothing but chocolate.