Monday, July 28, 2014

In a few hours I will be getting back in the grind of things. I am more willing to roll up my sleeve and go with the punches. Nonetheless, I'm not sure how I will cope. There are many positives but there are also many negative emotions. Some are reasonable but others are over reactions. Irregardless, they are overwhelming and very real. This morning, the thought of escaping and doing something away from this reality was very enticing. Years ago when I was at life cross road, I signed up to be a volunteer to go to Africa. After several interviews over a period of several months, I was offered a lead position to go set up a special school in a foreign land. At the time, I really did not care much about anything. I just wanted to leave. To leave the life I knew and to get away from it all. If that volunteer work did not pan out, I was determine to be a dive master in the Maldives. In the midst of the chaos, I met my now husband. Despite the overwhelming need to get away, I decided to stay and gave the new relationship a go. I am glad I did. The work that I did fell apart. Nothing went my way professionally but my personal life took a positive turn. This relationship has stood the test of time. Work has been work. While I find my profession fulfilling, this was not the year I was willing to change. My plea fell on deaf ear and it has been more hurtful than I had imagine. Spoke to many people but truth is, only time will tell. At this point, I will try my hardest to hold it together while taking time to care for me and my family. At the end of the day, that is what matters the most. I hate this cross road and maybe it is time to look out of open casting call.