Friday, December 9, 2011

HUNTER GATHERERS - Blogs 1 and 2 - Angelica Howland (Pam)

BLOG 1
Embrace the confusion.

I must remind myself of this several times during the first few days of rehearsal. No matter how prepared I feel, no matter how well read I am on everything about the play... there is still that overwhelming sense of 'EEK!' once the voices of the other actors and the director are added to the equation and we get around the table to start pulling the story apart. But, truth be told, this is my favorite part -- the process of figuring out the whats. What makes these characters tick? What do they want from each other? What makes them do what they do? And, in my mind, it is the initial confusion of what the answers to these questions might be that adds the most interesting human layers to a story. So, for the next few days, I will embrace the confusion. And I will have a fantastic time doing it. Because I seriously dig playing with the big kids.

There is also the confusing juggle of family life, motherhood, cookies and rehearsal -- but I'll get into that more a little later...

BLOG 2
Grown up life can get very overwhelming. Right now, I have a lot going on. I am playing wife, mommy, actress, baker, dog wrangler, volunteer and Santa. And -- I'm beat! But here are a few things that made it all worth it:

1) Having a busy, bad day and then walking up to a dear friend, who gives a hug that somehow, makes it all better.
2) Getting up on your feet in rehearsal for the first time, looking into the eyes of your fellow actor and knowing, without a shadow of a doubt, that the two of you are going to play like gangbusters together.
3) Being released from rehearsal early, going home and being greeted by your sweet family's complete joy at seeing you, which is so palpable, you could wrap it around you like a quilt fresh out of the dryer.

And...

4) Snuggling with a little boy, who, as he is falling asleep, says, 'Mommy, you made my night. I dig you.'