A blog calling the Cracked staff out on their poor handling of what will go down in Cracked history as the "John Cheese Incident."

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Mack Leighty aka John Cheese Described With His Own Words.

The Man No Man Wants To Become

He's the one sitting by himself, sipping a mixed drink. He's wearing enough cologne that you can smell it outside the bar. If you subtract 15 years from the calendar, his clothes would be in style. The bartender knows his name and his drink without him saying a word. He's leaning against the bar like he hasn't a care in the world, gray hair bobbing slightly to music that you know for a fact he doesn't like. He's casually scanning the crowd, like a drunken Terminator, searching for any woman who's just the right level of buzzed. Drunk enough that her inhibitions are thinned, but not enough to pass out or vomit. He's hunting, and his eyes are on the girls your age. And it is creepy as hell.

I think you're really making a difference, OnoSendai. Cracked is running SCARED. Since you started this blog, this article:http://www.cracked.com/article_20109_5-mind-blowing-academic-theories-as-taught-by-classic-movies.htmlGot a mere 1.1 million views, and then this one:http://www.cracked.com/article_20068_5-absurdly-fatal-injuries-you-wont-believe-people-survived.htmlGot a mere 1 million! Then this one:http://www.cracked.com/article_20122_6-ill-advised-marketing-campaigns-that-backfired-hilariously.htmlBarely scraped by at a paltry 1.2 million hits. And the clincher:http://www.cracked.com/article_20112_5-amazing-things-that-people-managed-to-sleep-through.htmlThat article's already a whole day old, and it only has 600,000 views! Cracked is barely the most popular website in the world anymore. You've started a movement!

As someone who observes articles' numbers daily, I can tell you for certain that those numbers aren't any higher or lower than what they usually are. 1.2million after 2-3 days is actually high, while 500-600k is just about right for the lesser popular articles.