Don't be too casual about a business wardrobe

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I am a new college graduate, and I'm unsure how to dress for work at my new first real job. The office claims to be "business casual" — whatever that is. Can you give me a translation?

— K.P.

Dear K.P.: I wish! One office's version of "business casual" is anything goes — except shorts, leggings and flip-flops. Another place might define it as khakis and a collared dress shirt without a tie for men and nice slacks or a skirt and a blouse for women. What's a new employee to do? First of all jump up and down that you have a job straight out of school! On your first day of work, dress professionally as if you're going to a job interview. Nobody ever got sent home for overdressing. Then look around, and see what everyone else is wearing and copy them. But there's nothing wrong with the old saying that you should dress like the person whose job you want, not the job you have. In the workplace, what you wear does matter. It might be shallow and wrong. But it's true.

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: When summer arrives, a friend will begin wearing spaghetti strap tops that show her bra straps. Is this a new trend, or should I quietly suggest she not do this? I'm old-fashioned and still wear hose and also see a lot of straps on people, so maybe this is now acceptable?

— Sharon

Dear Sharon: Flashing your bra straps beneath a skimpy top isn't "acceptable," but it does seem to be accepted. In other words, it's an unkempt look, but a lot of people do it. It's been a popular warm-weather style now for a couple of years. Ick. I don't advise that you "suggest she not do this," whether quietly or not. As the late, great, advice columnist Ann Landers would often say, MYOB (Mind Your Own Business). Unless showing her bra straps (often accompanied by showing too much bosom) is affecting her ability to get a job or causing other dire consequences, I'd say keep your nose out of it. If you can't stand to be quiet, I know how you feel! Here are some guidelines I put together when this style first became a trend.

Plan ahead: Think about the "girls" when you're shopping for that dress or top. If you don't have the right underwear for the garment, don't buy it.

Skip the "see-through solution": Clear straps are not the answer. They're still visible!

Think coverup: A little shrug is a great concealer for straps gone wild.

Be age appropriate: Younger women are most likely to pull off this look.

Make a judgment call: If the bits of bra you're showing are more function than fashion — closures, industrial strength straps and cups — don't do it!

Keep it tidy: If you must show off the straps, make sure they aren't ragged or twisted.

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: It seems that there are video/TV screens wherever I go these days. Recently, my hair and nail salons installed them, and they're often turned to a channel with very particular political leanings that I do not share. I find this very offensive. Why can't they turn on a cooking or travel channel? What can a customer do about it, if anything?

— Eyeballs Burning

Dear Eyeballs: You have two options: First: Ask the manager to change the channel (or turn it off). Don't get into a political argument. You're there to relax, and besides, you won't win it. No need to be aggressive. Just pleasantly firm. If that doesn't work (or you're not willing to make a fuss), switch to a different salon. And, if makes you feel better, tell the manager why you're not coming back and/or give the place a bad Yelp review. For the people who work in these places, the TV audio is just background noise, and they often don't even know what program they're showing. (Just a few weeks ago, I was eating dinner in a little tavern where the TV was showing a surgical operation! Management was very responsive when I asked for the station to be switched to something more appetizing.) As for the noise issue, do not get me started on those insane, noisy screens in the back seats of taxis.

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: Here we go again: Mother's Day, and I don't know what to do for my mom or my wife. Money is tight, and besides, they don't need any more "stuff." But they sure don't want me to ignore the day.

— Eddie

Dear Eddie: I'm a broken record on this one. Nothing is more from-the-heart than handwritten notes expressing why you love them. But give it some thought. Start now (Mother's Day is May 11). Be specific: "Mom, I'll always remember when you ..." Skip the generic sentiments you find inside greeting cards. And give them the gift of time. If mom lives nearby, spend a few hours visiting with her. Take a walk with your wife. It's the gift of you, not just from you.

Angelic Readers

I recently suggested pettipants (a half slip with leg holes) to reader A.M., who wondered what to wear under a summer dress. Here are some reader suggestions: Katje and her friends were looking for something to wear under their "fun-flared skirts," and she says they now wear bicycle shorts, which she calls "breathable, easy to find and comfy." Jan recommends Jockey's Skimmies Slipshort. "They are not shapewear but are designed to allow a skirt, dress or pant to 'skim' over the thigh. The fabric is wicking and cool and stops thigh chafe" and panty lines.

Reader Rant

I have a couple of friends who never — even out of common courtesy — tell me I look nice, even after I say, "You look fabulous!" or whatever and feel like I do look nice. I'm tempted to say, "How do you think I look?" but I know that would be tacky.

— Needy

Dear Needy: Don't you just hate it when you have to beg for a compliment? You're right, it would be tacky to ask, "What about me?" So, let this be a reminder to everyone out there that he or she should always respond to a compliment with a compliment — even if it's a little white lie.