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The Elite: Kiera Cass

Seriously, the hair and the dress clash. Though the mother really does look eerily like Bonnie Wright.

Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own the Disney princesses. If I did I would be at Disney World right now living the dream instead of writing this during one of my very limited study breaks.

And now a word from the Disney Princesses…

We here at the Magic Kingdom full of princess want to make something clear to you, America Singer is not a princess. Because I’m the only princess that likes to read or one of the only few that can read I’ve been dubbed to discuss this fraud of a princess.

All I have to say, Beast (or should I say Adam because that’s what Disney Wikia says his human name is) better buy me a whole library after reading this.

Sigh….

What is a princess? A princess isn’t just someone of royal birth. Here at Disney there has to be something special, something unique about you that makes you search for more. In my case, it was my intelligence. Most women in my time period were happy being Gaston’s bimbo. I was not. Another example, Ariel wanted to be human in a world full of fin lovers. And even Snow White, was…well, pretty and ran away from home.

Okay, maybe America is a little more competent than Snow. Um, or maybe not.

Because really, Snow cares about those dwarves. I suppose you could make a claim America cares about her maids or maybe that Marlee girl, but that’s just to tell her how pretty she is and how Maxon loves her.

She doesn’t even know how interact with other girls without being mean to them. Obviously, she’s never seen Sophia the First.

Then there’s the history of her kingdom. Her world. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. I know I come from fictional France where people speak English unless they’re saying Bonjour!

But we still had social issues. With women being told they couldn’t read. Princes not knowing how to take care of their kingdoms and being changed to hairy monsters leaving the rest of us to go around singing and wanting something more.

Well, it made sense in my movie.

I think a better princess’s world to talk about would be Mulan’s. Fictional China, though slightly offensive, was well formed. The fact that the society was male dominated was heightened throughout several of the plots and subplots of the movie. Conflict arouse becuase of society’s rules-i.e. Mulan felt like an outcast because she couldn’t get a man and cut off her hair because women weren’t allowed to join the army. To sum it up, there were reasons for her actions.

In The Elite….

Not so much.

Much of the world building seems thrown together and none of it makes any logical sense. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading too much Plato lately or have watched the news (yes, we get CNN at the Magic Kingdom-don’t tell anyone), but the way Illea was formed, the way its society works, its history is illogical.

And yes, I’ve heard the Stephanie Meyer it’s fiction excuse. And living a fictional existence myself, I am entitled to call bull shit on this one.

Heavens, did I curse?

Don’t tell The Mouse, okay?

Alright, it’s back to scholarly Belle. How is this book illogical? Well, my dear readers let’s talk about how Illea was formed. Or should I say how the United States fell apart.

China overtook America when the US didn’t pay their debts. Counterintuitive much?

But America didn’t pay back their money, shouldn’t China invade?

Um, not if they want their money back or don’t want to get nuked.

Seriously, China would not be stupid enough to do that. Plus, do you really think the UN would go along with that? And hello, America has nukes?

Must I reiterate that.

Probably everyone would be dead if the two started battling each other.

God, I feel like Jeff Golblum from Independence Day. So, not becoming for a Disney princess. If that’s not bad enough, then there’s the actually forming of Illea.

The explanation is weak at best. A former country that was brought on freedom, is probably not likely to accept a caste system just because some dimwit who claims he’s king says so. There’s usually no social political issues at work here other than the king not liking you.

Really? You don’t think you’re going to have any oppression other than these random Rebels who have apparently no power base but run around amok. Completely random into the palace.

Multiple times.

Multiple times!

I’m a princess. I’m supposed to like fluff, but this is just too much You know what we do at Beast’s (I meant Adam’s) castle when we have intruders well throw them in the dungeon. And you don’t get out until your daughter decides to take your place…

Trespassers don’t get past the Beast.

And you know what, Illea really needs a Beast. That kingdom lacks authority. You’d think that a king like Clarkson who likes to kick his son around would be a bit of an authority figure but no….He just barks a bit and then everything is okay. Which makes you wonder…

Or would make you wonder if something happened in this book.

Really, nothing happened. You know how every princess has an adventures. My adventure was falling in love with a beast and dealing with a crazy stalker, Cinderella had to deal with that evil stepmother, and even Pocahontas had an adventure-sort of- though it mostly consisted of looking like she was a perfume model. What is America’s adventure?

Sitting around getting groomed all day and reading a dead king’s diary that’s just sitting around there for her to read even though it’s more incriminating than The Pelican Brief (now, that’s a good book).

I guess wouldn’t mind so much if the rest of the book wasn’t so misogynic.

We princesses get a bad rap for being anti-feminist which I think is ridiculous. I mean, sure we might all get the guy and live in a big castle and not have to worry about getting a real job, but we all (well, most of us) have goals and ambitions.

Well, more than this girl.

And you know what really annoys me, America doesn’t realize how backwards she is. While she rambles on and on about how the king who wrote his diary objectified his daughter to something that was similar to what America herself was going through, America doesn’t recognize that her parents essentially did the same thing to her. It was perfect moment for reflection and instead of utilizing it Cass…well, excuse the horrible pun, castrated it.

This moment should’ve been a part of realization. Instead, Cass uses it as a stupid plot point.

I really don’t understand why people think America Singer should be a princess. Princesses aren’t just supposed to look pretty. Maybe we Disney princesses seem overly old school in our frilly gowns, but honestly we’re pretty kick ass. Even old school princesses had their moments. Cinderella, for example, had the gall to go to the ball. Aurora snuck out. Snow White ran away from home. And you have to say there are other princesses out there fictional and real princesses that kick ass. Princess Leila, Princess Mia, Princess Diana. Those are only a few. All three of these women did more than just look great. And while Mia and Leila were fictional characters, they influenced a lot of people.