Crowned: The Mother of All Beauty Pageants

“If winning a beauty pageant is heaven, get prepared to take a trip to the other side.”
And so it begins...

On Your Mark

Back in February, The CW announced its nationwide search for beauty pageant mother-daughter teams for its reality series, Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants. They scoured Orlando FL, Raleigh NC, Decatur IL, Dallas TX, Tempe AZ, Montgomery AL, Memphis TN, and Hendersonville NC.

The CW revealed the names of the judges: Carson Kressly ("Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"), the former Miss U.S.A. Shanna Moakler ("Dancing with the Stars," "Meet the Barkers"), and television personality Cynthia Garrett ("Later with Cynthia Garrett") who will serve as judge / referees.

The series will consist of eight episodes with eleven teams (The Bold against the Brash) competing each week. They all reside together in a large and spacious ‘Pageant House” reminiscent of the Big Brother House. One team will be eliminated each week in a dramatic “de-sashing” ceremony involving very large glittery scissors. (I am rolling my eyes here.) The final mother-daughter pair will be “crowned” the winner(s) and will collect the $100,000 cash prize, as well as representation to appear at charity events across the country, and finally, a pair of tiaras. We cannot forget those tiaras.

Get Set

“If winning a beauty pageant is heaven, get prepared to take a trip to the other side.” Such is the CW description of the show.
Good looks will not be enough to win this “no-holds-barred” competition though. Each team is given the task to brand their own "style" in clothing and swimwear, as well as create ways of expressing a point of view about issues in the world. They must also practice for the big pageant dance number. This all requires talent and patience. As I expect, we will be treated to temper tantrums and overbearing stage mothers. Ah well, such is life in Reality TV Realm. In the wake of the Miss Puerto Rico pageant and the alleged pepper spray episodes, perhaps we’ll even see a bit of sabotage? One can only hope. We’ll have to tune in to see.

As one contestant said, “I have enough friends at home. I am not coming here to make friends.” Meow! Watch the claws come out. That might make it worth watching, but what a sad commentary on us, huh?

Go!

It all begins on December 12, at 9 pm/8pm CT. That’s a Wednesday night on CW. Watch the preview video over at the CW and prepare for the fireworks!