Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Mon Calamari Declare Treason Against Empire

A Mon Calamari, one of the traitorous species declaring separatism against the Empire

DAC SYSTEM - In a shocking upset, the Mon Calamari government in the Dac (also called Mon Cala) system declared its thankless revolt against the Empire today.

After decades of civilizing this brutish aquatic people, the Empire is betrayed by the Mon Calamari in this ingrate - and ultimately futile - gesture. The Mon Calamari is expected to be back under Imperial control and administration within two months, as the Imperial Navy reassigns fleets to retake Mon Cala.

While some cite the Mon Calamari shipyards as being capable of providing for its own self-defense, a spokesperson for the Imperial Navy justifiably scoffed: "Mon Calamari star cruisers are nothing more than decadent pleasure cruisers. They cannot stand toe to toe with the star destroyers of the Imperial Navy."

While some suspect that a declaration of alliance with the Rebellion is imminent, the Mon Calamari have not yet declared their involvement with the Rebel Alliance. Strategic analysts believe that the choice between simple separatism and embracing the terrorist Rebellion can have profound consequences for Dac and the Mon Calamari people.

"It might mean the difference between simple re-subjection and justifiable eradication," one strategic analyst, choosing to remain off the record, told HNN.

Dac, the homeworld of the ingrate Mon Calamari species

Justifiable eradication is a phrase used for the removal of a species so depraved as to not be capable of rehabilitation for civilized galactic society.

"It's something the Quarren should keep in mind, if they follow the Mon Calamari's lead in this mistake," the analyst explained, referring planet's other dominant species.