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5 Times Ueda's pretty heart was broken and once when it was healed. - 「君が好きです…」

私はいつも見上げてる 止むはずのない雪を…

If I can talk, I will...

My name is Suzy Park. I’m also known as Suzy, Kei, or whatever. This is a fic journal for JE. None of my fics will be locked, so feel free to browse. If you want to read my boring, everyday thoughts, then go to suzuhara_kei. My KHR account is keitaru6918

My favorite Johnny’s band is KAT-TUN, then NEWS. I have some other fandoms, but not as much as those two. My favorite band member is Ueda Tatsuya. Isn’t that obvious? Anyways, most of my fics are based on him. *brick’d*

Right now, I with that someone will draw me a doujinshi. (This section will have edits.)

My hobbies include reading, drawing, using the computer, writing fics, and sleeping. And listening to music. All those are a big must for me.

Also, if one of the icons are yours, then please tell me. Otherwise, they would be credited to the community I found them in.

Summary: 5 times when Ueda's pretty heart was broken, and once when it was healed.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.

I have nothing to say.

And... Yeah...

1.

Ueda Tatsuya was only seven, yet he was a loner even then. At school, he was bullied. At home, everyone ignored him. Nobody ever played with him, or even managed a friendly conversation that lasted longer then a minute, despite his attempts to befriend anyone. Everyone saw him as the outsider. He lacked confidence to stand up for himself.

“You’re really stupid. You know that, right?” Someone would say, whenever Ueda asked a classmate to play with him. Ueda would stand there in shock, wondering what brought the tirade this time. He would realize that everyone enjoyed doing cruel things to him.

“Go away. We don’t want to play with you. You suck at everything.” Another would add to the first person’s comment, turning away scornfully. The crowd would start growing, and would notice who the main target was.

“You’re just a rich, snotty brat.” A newly arrived kid would chime in. “You rich people don’t do anything but look down on everyone else.”

“Dummy.” A handful of sand hit would hit his small face from a person who was standing near the sand pit. Sand went into his eyes, and Ueda would rub his eyes frantically to try removing it. They would sting painfully.

“Who wants to play with you?” A sharp rock or a stick would hit his right arm. He started bleeding, but bit back his tears, despite the hurt that welled up inside of him.

“Weirdo.”

“Ugly.”

“Idiot.”

Insults after insults would be hurled at him. All Ueda could do is stand there, and hold back tears. There was nobody to hold onto, nobody…

“I’m sorry.” Ueda would whisper, and run the opposite direction, just to get away from everyone, from people, from his misery.

During those times, Ueda would curl up and cry, with a broken heart. He was never understood by anyone.

He probably never would be.

2.

Ueda’s parents were always strict when it came to his education. His mother would always tell him to become a lawyer, while his father wanted him to become famous. Even his older sister would never really pay close attention to him.

Whenever he brought home a score below eighty, he would be slapped. Eventually, he had to have lessons everyday of the week. When he watched his classmates, he would wonder why he was the only one that never seemed to have any free time.

He was abandoned in the mountains once, after his mother grew tired of the low scores. Ueda was scared of the dark, when he was alone. He started walking down, tripped, and started to bleed. Despite that, Ueda had to get up, and start walking again.

Ueda wondered why he was so different.

When he was fifteen, his mother had enough. She sent a registration form to Johnny’s and Associates, a famous music company made for producing top singers.

“I don’t want to go!” Ueda sobbed in his room. He would have to move again, meet new strangers, have a good “image”, and basically have to change his whole life.

Why didn’t he have any control over his life? Everything he did was controlled by his parents.

To try decreasing his chances of passing the auditions, he got a crew cut the next day. His parents nearly blew the rooftop off in anger, but Ueda managed to stay alive.

When the audition day came, Ueda tried to fail it on purpose. He was cheerful underneath, until he saw the posted results.

He passed.

“W-why?”

Later, he found out that his mother had bribed Johnny to accept Ueda as part of the Johnny’s and Associates.

Ueda had no control over his life.

His heart just tore into pieces.

3.

Ueda became part of a group, KAT-TUN. They debuted after five years of waiting with the single “Real Face”, and the “Best of KAT-TUN” album.

KAT-TUN was generally not the closest friends on Earth. Everyone fought with each other many times, even over the simplest things. Many members threatened to leave, and the harsh and ill-willed feelings grew.

Kamenashi Kazuya was rather serious, and disliked Ueda.

Akanishi Jin was an idiot, and never did anything.

Taguchi Junnosuke was even more of a dork then Akanishi, and was always playing games.

Tanaka Koki was too loud, hyper, and rather annoying.

Nakamaru Yuichi was… the only normal person in the group.

For their first Real Face concert, just before they went up on stage, Ueda spotted a small, glimmering person in front of him. He blinked, but it was still there. When someone asked how was he feeling, he said the first thing on his mind.

“I see fairies.”

After the concert, in the dressing room, Ueda was laughed at. He changed quickly, and ran back to his apartment, crying.

He would never do anything right, would he?

4.

Ueda looked up to a famous J-Rock singer called Gackt. He rather envied how the man wrote songs about life and death.

When he went into KAT-TUN dressing room one day, everyone nearly fell over.

“Eh… Ueda?” Jin asked. “What happened to your hair?”

Ueda just shrugged. “I think it’s cool like this.” He started to unbutton his shirt.

“Spikes?” Kame asked. “You’re wearing spikes?”

“Like I said, I think they’re cool like this.”

Jin snapped his fingers. “Oh, I know! It’s like that one guy you were listening to… what was his name again?”

Ueda, with a rigid face, left the room. Some junior looked up, wondering who it was, until Ueda got closer. They started whispering.

“What happened to Ueda-sempai?”

“His hair is so blonde and curly.”

“Ueda-sempai’s wearing spikes!”

“He doesn’t look right like that.”

Ueda couldn’t help but overhear, and he ran to the men’s bathroom, and started crying.

He wouldn’t fit in, ever, right?

5.

There was one person in Johnny’s that made Ueda’s life impossible to live. The poisoned tongued man, Nishikido Ryo. Whenever they met each other, Ryo would always insult him in every way.

“Fairy boy.”

“Donkey face.”

Ueda tried to ignore Ryo, but couldn’t. Surprisingly, Kame was the one that helped him the most. He always was there for Ueda, and comforted him.

In one Shounen Club episode, Ryo taunted him on national T.V. He asked, “What the hell are you trying to be?”

Ueda had no answer to that.

Later, Kame asked what Ryo meant by the comment, and he replied with, “That stupid fairy boy is just wearing spikes and copying Gackt.”

Ueda always cried whenever he remembered those messages.

Will anyone ever accept him for who he was?

+1

Ueda decided he didn’t want to live anymore. He climbed up the rooftop, and closed his eyes. He was always afraid of heights, but in this instance, would it matter?

He got ready to jump, when a hand grabbed him. He turned around, and saw Junno.

“What are you doing, Tat-chan?” Junno asked. Ueda swallowed.

“What does it look like?”

“Don’t kill yourself!” Junno said passionately.

“Why? Nobody likes me, and nobody ever wants to be near me!” Ueda shouted. “Nobody in this world is going to care if I die or not!”

“Don’t say that.”

Junno’s quiet tone was so serious that Ueda had to look up.

“I love you.”

Ueda couldn’t say anything.

“I love you Tat-chan. I tried showing you, but you never got the message. I think you’re beautiful, and kind, and so mesmerizing. God must have been missing one of his angels, because one of them is right here in front of me. It hurts watching you everyday, and not see you laugh. My heart breaks every time yours does. I can’t stand watching you be so lonely anymore.”

Ueda remembered the times when Junno had showed up. He thought Junno was being annoying, but…

“I’m going to hold you and never let go.” With that, Junno pulled Ueda into a gentle hug. Ueda stood there.

Nobody had ever told him that he was beautiful.

And Ueda realized that his heart started to feel better. He could breathe again.

TvT... this was... SO SAAAD!!! I LOVE THIS!! poor, poor, sad uepi!!! JUNNO!!! hime's oji is here!!! love the ending, I WANT TO BELIEVE THIS IS THE REASON UEDA BECAME THE BEAUTIFUL HIME THAT HE IS NOW!!! i will too!! *lol, anything can happen in my mind!!!* love you for writing this, for writing JUNDA *LOVED!!*