Somewhere on the outskirts of reason... Or where good television can be found.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Roy Orbison and Friends 'A Black And White Night Live'

I have never driven a motorcycle before. Sure… I’ve ridden on plenty of them and always in the “bitch seat”. I’ve kind of always wanted one, but I’ve never put that plan into motion. I’m all talk when it comes to getting an engine with only two wheels. It’s not that I think they’re unsafe… It’s just that people don’t really notice them.

Admittedly, I don’t know that much about Harley-Davidson motorcycles. I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a “Fat Boy”, “Softail”, or a “Road Glide”. I don’t even particularly care for the noise they make. And I wouldn’t have a problem with wearing a helmet… Unlike most bikers out there on American made thunder. Personally… I like the idea of having a shell of protection wrapped around my second favorite organ… My brain. In my opinion, when a skull meets blacktop… The blacktop is going to win every time.

While Rock 92 was at the big charity blowout down at Cox’s Harley-Davidson of Asheboro this past Saturday… I saw a few things. Not one, but two “General Lees”…

…A kid with perhaps North Carolina’s longest “rat tail”…

…And Deidre from the 2GNC Show riding a motorcycle (She is very afraid of them).

I was even asked to autographs some breasts!

They had competitions with the riders too. I didn’t understand them.

There was a “slow walk” race where they walk a bike seated with the engine running and a game where the lady on the back of the bike rode underneath a hot dog. The object was to bite off as much wiener as you could. The dog was hanging on a string and as the bike passed underneath, the passenger on back took a big bite.

Why this seemed like great entertainment to the masses gathered ‘round, I don’t know. Perhaps I’m just not a Harley kind of guy. But I did take great pleasure in watching Deidre try it.

Later that day, Kristina was kind enough to drive to Charlotte for the Cheap Trick show. We met her mother at Tony Roma’s in Pineville.

When Kristina told me about Tony Roma’s… I had to ask why her mother would want to meet and eat at a boot shop. It seemed that I confused Tony Roma with Tony Lama

As it turned out… Tony Roma’s is a FANTASTIC rib joint! And man… Tony sure put a hurting on me! I sure hope we get one soon in Greensboro, baby!

After dinner, Kristina and I made our way to downtown Charlotte where we experienced one of the bitchiest cops that I had ever met.

She was looking for a place to park the Stinamobile when she saw an opening. It was a big opening. She turned in and started looking for a spot. I heard someone yelling at us from behind. Apparently we entered a lot that wasn’t meant for us and she just started wailing at us like a banshee with a badge.

Kristina found a spot and pulled in. The cop came running over and kept yelling… “Do you see what you started?” It seems that other drivers found the wide open and unmarked hole as an invitation too. Funny that.

I felt the urge to get lippy. First of all, the wide open space that led into the lot wasn’t marked as “off-limits”. There were no orange cones and no signs. Secondly, the wide open space (big enough for 2 Peterbuilts) didn’t seem to be manned to keep the unofficial vehicles out. I wanted to point out to the lady cop that was wearing all black that maybe if she kept herself in the entrance, these things wouldn’t happen. I also wanted to tell her that our misunderstanding was due to her sitting on her lazy ass inside an SUV unseen (all black in the dark, mind you) instead of doing her job… Keeping watch over the parking lot.

Kristina told me not to say anything and just to keep my mouth shut. Let me tell you… I took her advice better than she did. When that bitchy-ass cop came over and started yelling and threatening us with a ticket, Kristina started getting lippy. I had to calm her down even though the cop seemed completely clueless about her mismanaged duties and not-so-winning ways with John Q. Citizen.

Once out of Officer Congeniality’s domain, we found a great spot for the Stinamobile and headed towards the big noisy crowds.