Christmas Eve is always "Santa and snowman" night - re table decos and desserts. And we read "T'was the Night Before Christmas" and of course put out carrots for reindeer and cookies for fatso. Kids are too old for Santa now, but I'll never, ever give that up. Never.

When I made up that King Pig from the Angry Birds emailed me and told me he kidnapped Nico from Rio, to make a treasure hunt for my son, and I eventually had to tell him that King Pig wasn't real, he melted the fuck down and still hates me if I mention it. I don't have the balls to tell him about Santa. His mom can do it or he can find out through kids in school, same way I hope he hears about fuckin.