Q&A: Amy Schumer, Funniest New Woman on TV

If you've ever wondered what the casting process for the viral video 2 Girls 1 Cup might have looked like — and, okay, no, you almost definitely haven't, but you're still likely to enjoy Amy Schumer, who has turned her walks of shame into a brand of comedy that might be deemed a bit raunchy if she wasn't so sweet and honest. After nearly ten years bouncing around the standup circuit before her breakout on the roast of Charlie Sheen in 2011, the skyrocketing comedienne has landed her own variety show, Inside Amy Schumer, which premieres tonight on Comedy Central. We talked to her about the show, "sex stuff," and giving up in relationships.

More From Esquire

ESQUIRE.COM: I took my girlfriend to see you a couple weeks ago, and there were definitely some moments when I was concerned about what she was laughing at.

AMY SCHUMER: I always wonder what a couple's experience would be. I remember going to see Margaret Cho with a boyfriend once in Santa Barbara. She had this one joke about how she wakes up next to her boyfriend in the morning and thinks about smothering him with a pillow, and I was laughing way too hard. It definitely created some weirdness for us for a few weeks. I hope that once you saw her laughing, you knew it was okay to laugh.

ESQ: Yeah, and I realized at the show that joking about rape is officially acceptable.

AS:[Laughs.] The rules are very, very specific and hard to navigate in regards to that stuff. But it's fun to try to figure it out.

ESQ: Are there any topics that are off-limits to you?

AS: I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. Right now, I just want to talk about stuff that I'm interested in. It's not really done yet, but a joke that I'm working on is about when my roommate beat cancer. We talk about these cancer survivors like they're warriors, but from where I was sitting, she was just watching television and eating soup. Like, did she go to war? No. She kind of just sat around. If it's funny, I want to explore it.

ESQ: I appreciate the name of your recent special, Mostly Sex Stuff.

AS: Thanks. Comedy Central was like, "It's so honest. Maybe you can try to incorporate some other topics." They even suggested maybe more racism. And I said, "No, this is the hour I'm doing on the road right now. Let's just call it Mostly Sex Stuff so people can't complain." Like they can't say, "You know, there was a lot of stuff about sex." Yeah, well that was the name of the special.

ESQ: What kind of feedback do you get from women?

AS: I've gotten a positive response from about 95 percent of women. But the bad stuff's probably behind my back. If people actually listen to what I'm saying rather than look at what my package is and immediately respond with "What's her deal? Oh, I get it. I don't like her," without seeing my standup, then yeah. I'm sure there are women who don't want to talk about sex publicly. And that's fine. You're not forced to.

ESQ: Is it difficult to open up about your sex life to millions of people?

AS: I feel a responsibility to share that part of myself. Not everybody does that, and I like the thought that someone will hear a story and it will make them laugh and it will make them feel better and less dirty or ashamed. And I'm not ashamed. I feel comfortable with myself and my actions. I've been slutty. I've also been in long-term relationships. So I hope that it makes people feel better. It's worth it for me to share that stuff. I've done some things I'm embarrassed about, and I like to tell people about them so that maybe they feel less embarrassed or alone when they do something they're unsure about.

ESQ: You have a strange dichotomy of slutty sorority girl with a conservative slant.

AS: Totally. But because I'm talking about sex, or Plan B, people probably leave my shows being like, "What a whore." But I'm talking about stuff that's interesting to me that I'm trying to work out. Like my story about the guy I couldn't have sex with because of his big penis. That happened. And I didn't even think about saying it on stage, but I was telling my sister what happened that night, and we were both laughing so hard we were crying. And I was like, "Yes!" So I'll go on stage and talk about something that happened. I think girls are always trying to figure out how attractive we are and how slutty we are.

ESQ: To what end?

AS: To no end. I see no end in sight. I'm starting to get old. Who cares? Every woman winds up just getting a mom cut and wearing some big sweatshirt and capri khakis, and then they just throw in the towel. That seems dope. I still have to hang on for a couple more years, but as soon as I'm allowed to, I'm just going to look like every other housewife from the Midwest.

ESQ: Do you want to settle down with someone?

AS: No. That's the thing: I think you get to a certain age as a woman, and you think, "Oh, shit. My physical stock is about to plummet. I better trap somebody while I still look good." And I think that premise is kind of crazy. I love the idea of making a commitment to somebody. But I definitely haven't met the person yet, and I wouldn't want to rush it. It seems like the ultimate mind fuck, to trap somebody. I'm sure I'll meet somebody, and it'll be like, "Yes, I'll still love his old balls." But if you don't have that, just saying "I better sell now" seems kind of nuts to me.

ESQ: Is it true you auditioned for one of the main roles on HBO's Girls?

AS: Yeah. I was just thinking about this yesterday. I wore an ironic t-shirt to the audition, and not even on purpose. It was what I slept in, and it said, "L.A. is for pussies" in pink lettering and very sweet script. I would never wear an ironic shirt to an audition. I was like, "Oh, God." But Lena [Dunham] was immediately like, "I want that shirt." I auditioned for Shoshanna. I did it in a very Long Island way as a girl who would just be so into New York, and would go on the Sex and the City bus tour and order Cosmos.

ESQ: Were you ever that girl?

AS: I think New York's cool, but I've never been that girl. I only wear heels when it's 100-percent required, and even sometimes not then. I have to talk myself into a bra. I've done an hour of standup where I've been like, "I don't have to wear a bra tonight." If you're going to be on camera, you have to get it together, but other than that, I am pretty lazy as a woman.

ESQ: You obviously didn't end up getting the role.

AS: They were really nice and laughed. But I saw who was cast on the show, and I thought, "Oh. I'd be that girl's parent." When I appeared on an episode this season, I didn't have to audition, which is great. Auditions really are like tuberculosis. I was just so happy I didn't have to sit in a waiting room.

ESQ: What's your new show Inside Amy Schumer like?

AS: I would say it's really a mix of Chapelle's Show and Dave Attell's Insomniac. It's some standup, some man-on-the-street, and sketches. But there's no A-and-B plot. We got some great actors in it because people just kept saying yes: Michael Ian Black. Jim Norton. John Glaser. Amber Tamblyn. Every New York comic you can think of will probably show up in an episode getting jerked off. I think the show is really funny. I think both you and your girlfriend will really enjoy it.

ESQ: I'm actually one of those obnoxious Brooklynites who doesn't own a TV.

AS: Oh, you suck. You don't even have rabbit ears? I want you to watch the show, because it's really funny and I'm really proud of it. I don't know what makes people watch television shows, but I think this will be people's favorite new show.

ESQ: You're not scared that Comedy Central is notorious for shows that only last a season?

AS: I hope we get a season two. The tricky part is: Will people watch it so Taco Bell will buy ad space? That's the bottom line. I'm cool with how much money I have, so it really is about people digging what I'm doing. And I think it will be what people are talking about the next day at work. So please fix your bike, go watch it at your girlfriend's house, and let me know what you think.