Friday, July 24, 2009

Oh, I've been meaning to send you a "Letter to the Blogger" to ask you howyour fish are doing considering the frog invasion of 2009? And what theirofficial stance is regarding Amphibians? :P And if Quasi would ever considerplastic surgery?

Dear Reader,First of all, I would like to thank you for your inquiry. Secondly, I would like to apologize for the wonky format in which Blogger has decided to display your inquiry. I have tried to fix the formatting, but alas--Blogger's rhyme and reason to formatting eludes me yet.To answer your questions, Fish 1, 2 and Quasi have released an official comment regarding items one and two (that is, how they are doing and their official stance re: Amphibians).

Bloop bloop bloopity bloopbloop.

(cheesy translation voice over): We are at this time safe behind the walls of our BPA-rich orange plastic environment, and the frogs have yet to cross into our physical territory. Preventative measures are being taken, however, in the form of multiple 3-day time release food tablets and stockpiles of orange rocks (for therapeutic stacking purposes). We are prepared to negotiate with these amphibians regarding the amount of human time they shall recieve, but since the very nature of amphibians suggests an inability to commit to one thing or another (water or land, for example), we are not holding our breath. (Because we don't have to, we're fish).

Quasimodo's Lawyer and Publicist have collaborated on the following statement regarding the possibility of Quasi's "reconstructive" surgery:

We can confirm that Mr. Quasimodo has indeed looked into the possibilty of medically enhancing his image. However, at the time of publication, his HMO has most unfortunately denied all proposed procedures on the unjust grounds that any attempts to remove his tumor would be for purely cosmetic reasons, and therefore medically unnecessary. Rest assured that we are in the process of filing an appeal with the HMO. As a fish in the blog industry, Mr. Quasimodo relies on his image a great deal. If he becomes unable to work because of his unfortunate malformation, he will likely spend the remainder of his days in a deep, dark depression with only therapeutic rock arranging to spur on his pathetic will to live.

Monday, July 13, 2009

These two ladies have a special place in my heart--they are my sisters. Jen (top) celebrated a birthday on Saturday. Ness (bottom) celebrates her birthday today (or yesterday, as she is in Korea with her adorable family).

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Yesterday, while I was working in the living room, Jaxon requested to watch "Wallace and Gromit" in the family room. Eager to skip more Wallace and Gromit (although I love them--we have watched "The Curse of the Were Rabbit" several dozen times in the last few weeks), I conceeded to his request.Minutes into the movie, I heard the unmistakable sound of two-year-old feet hitting leather repeatedly."Jaxon," I yelled into the family room, "You better quit jumping on the couch, or I'm going to turn off the movie." And just like that, (and so unlike my son), the sounds stopped. Pleased with myself (and my son's apparently sudden attack of listening), I got back to work.I was interrupted a moment later by the padding of those same two-year-old feet through the kitchen. Jaxon stopped a few feet away from myself and announced, in a very matter-of-fact manner:"Mom, I'm not jumping on the couch. I'm flopping around like a fish to get sweaty."

Sunday, July 5, 2009

We have been hosting a summertime visitor. A very large, amphibious, bug-eating summertime visitor. A visitor that leaves "presents" on the front porch that could have been left by a chihuahua. Meet Kermie.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy Independence Day from the family Ruiz. May we always remember the brave men that took the first steps in creating our great nation, and the brave men and women that protect our freedom each and every day.