Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

(Customers have the option of buying a single-ride coupon or an unlimited rides ticket. It’s a particularly busy day, and the queue line on my ride is over 45 minutes long. The ride has just finished and most people are exiting, except for two customers.)

Me: “Hey, gentlemen, the exit is out that way, when you’re ready.”

Customer #1: “We’re staying on for another go.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you will have to line up again to ride, especially since it’s so busy.”

(This customer is part of a rewards program for the store and calls in immediately yelling with a list of complaints. He eventually says his main concern right now is that he got an email saying his password was being re-sent on the site and he didn’t want it to be.)

Me: “Okay. Well, I can delete your registration and give you your account number which you can use to create a new registration with the same account, so all your info will still be there.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for all of this or to go online. Can’t you just fix my password for me and I can hang up while you do it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It is against privacy laws for me to know your password. I cannot do that.”

Customer: “Then get me someone who can. Do you know how many accounts and passwords I have? If I have to do this all the time how can I live?”

(My car has suddenly died with no warning, and I manage to get it pulled to the side of the road before I lose momentum. I call AAA to request a tow, and, since it’s absolutely pouring and I’m on a street running through a park (no houses or shops), I sit in my car while I wait – for over an hour and a half. When the driver shows up, it’s the same guy who always comes to haul my car away when it misbehaves (now four times in three years), so we joke with each other a bit.)

Driver: “Man, if I’d known it was you sitting here waiting I would’ve told the last lady she could suck it!”

Me:*surprised* “Why? What was wrong with her car?”

Driver: “She called it in as multiple flat tires, and when I got there, you know what it was?”

Me: “No…?”

Driver: “They were just really bald and she was afraid to drive it in this rain! She had me tow her home!”

Me: “Let me guess. Luxury car.”

Driver: “Got it in one.”

(So, lady who wasted that guy’s time and made me even later for work, may you have an actual problem someday and have to wait – and wait – and WAIT!)