Watch Mexican Mormons Complain About Being Murdered All The Time Constantly By The Cartels

Time for your newest Vice video, Wonkers! There are four more before you are done forever. Which part will you whine about this time? (The hipster. You will whine about the hipster like you did in Part One and Part Two.)

Feels like this one could use some Titty Twister and/or Queen of the Dead, but it does move the plot forward.

Yes. Just, yes.
Phil is tiny and terrible though. Prom's just got some abhorrent musical taste, like Bongos and shit, but he does know a fuckload about the subject.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

Drummers should never be allowed to sing.

FakaktaSouth

I saw Keith Moon (on youtubes, not at my house like I wish, obvs, even zombie Keith Moon) singing Barbra Ann the other day and he kicked ass, cause he was faking falsetto. He's really my only one though, except Octopus' Garden, Ringo kills me. So how about un-funny-taking themselves seriously drummers should not sing? I'll totally go along with that.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

I'll agree with you, but only because you can put your feet behind your head.

I still miss Kingpin. Might've been the last time I enjoyed network-provided — as well as controversial-content-launched and soon thereafter snuf'd out — television drama.

BaldarTFlagass

Ol' Jose "El Rikin" (what does that mean?) Escajeda, High-Ranking Boss of the Juarez Cartel, looks to be about 22 years old and also looks like he has a touch of the Down's-brush. I guess all the older cartelistas have slaughtered each other?

Oblios_Cap

Sorta looks like "Ol' Jerkin'" when your write it that way.

chicken_thief

What's worse than a tornado? – a TITTIE TWISTER!!!!!

I feel like I'm in 3rd grade again….

BaldarTFlagass

OUCH! I'm gonna tell the teacher.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

Did you get a purple nurple?

prommie

Just leave my purple toupee alone.

AddHomonym

I remember the year I went to camp …

prommie

Someone stuck their finger in the president's ear, and just a few months later they came out with Johnson's wax!

midnighttoker69

I am totally digging these. I can't wait to see how he connects all this to Romney.

Jus_Wonderin

Well, obviously, if people are getting hacked, Romney only cares about the percent of the remaining body that can vote for him.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

That would be the 53%, right?

midnighttoker69

but since they are Mexican citizens, they can't vote … oh … wait … nevermind

Good to know – I thought it meant they were secret, behind the garbage can, cigarette junkies….

PsycWench

I have a few relatives that are weeping in distress right now. The kind of distress caused when you find out that most people disagree with you.

Serolf_Divad

YES, beyotches! We won!

prommie

I just changed my gravatar! Or tried to, I am so excited, its like going out in a fancy new outfit for the first time! Someone tell me it worked, I can't tell if it worked!

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

Is it an X ray of a broken fibia?

prommie

Tibia, my man! A nailed, fixed oblique fracture. Its my very own and I am very proud of it.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

Fucking obamacare. You should be forced to live gimpy for the rest of your life. And maybe get gangrene.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

In a Romney Amercia, he'd be staked out for vultures to peck at.

HistoriCat

Let him die!!!1!1!

prommie

True story, when, in the hospital, I told them that yes, indeed, I had insurance, real live Blue Cross or whatever the name is now, a change came over the faces of all the hospital staff, and they all bowed to me as if the messiah had returned. Nothing that was demanded was denied thenceforth. But I am still trying to figure out whether they went with stainless or titanium, if I knew at the time, I would have insisted on titanium, doncha know.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

Phhht. With actual insurance you shoulda got the gold plated, diamond encrusted pin in your leg. Medical bling is the new thing that I just made up.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

And a blow job. You should always get a blow job if you have insurance.

TIB FIB! CHEM PANEL! GSW! SUBDURAL HEMATOMA! BAG HIM! CLEAR!! Flyin' the gurney down the hall and smashing through doors, like Clooney and Julianna Margulies! I love playing doctor.

prommie

It was fucking dramatic, you got the scene pretty close, except for all the cops taking my statement at the same time. And two liters of cold fucking saline because my blood pressure fell to shit and damn I got cold and just cried for blankets and morphine. And miss knowledge-absorber there just fascinated watching all the cutting and stitching going on.

emmelemm

I think I missed the original story (although I did see the NAILING VIDEO, thanks)…

So there was some sort of dramatic incident that led to this hobbling, not merely the degeneration and humiliation of age?

Miss Knowledge-Absorbers one AND two were RAPT. It was, let's say, shockingly interesting. And you did not cry, come on now, you just whined some, and made fun of everyone and everything, and we got real good at being stared at and and having to be seen as the "WHO and WHAT and WHY" of it alllllll. Such is life.

prommie

We have us a great story, and if we could get through that, we are golden.

TribecaMike

Sleek.

FakaktaSouth

I still think that looks like an album cover or super-villain leotard chest insignia. Nice legs.

prommie

yes, the insignia for my superhero alter-ego, The Hobbler! When the bad guys see me hobbling their way, they will know they have a few minutes to finish up before I get there!

FakaktaSouth

Wait, wouldn't that actually make you The Hobbled? Hobbler sounds like you would actually do this to someone else.
I still like Hopalong, or what about THE CANE! ? Like, in all caps, it's more crusher and less old guy. Maybe?
Just stick with the Colonel, it works.

prommie

As you wish, General.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

I am Naked Squirrel. That is also my radio handle.
Over and out.

prommie

Holy shit does that mean what I think it means? Man thats too much.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

It means whatever you want it to mean. That's the beauty of it.

http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

I thought it was was one of those triple-blade razor do-hickeys.
(Gotta get my glasses changed!)

Jus_Wonderin

It did work. I can't think of abandoning Nipper.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

Right? Killy, the Rapture-Avenging Cat, is like my alter ego. I could never swap him out.

This is NEVER going to win an Emmy or anything, but it makes me want to have a couple of Pacificos and some carne asada tacos….not sure why.

BaldarTFlagass

"Which part will you whine about this time?"

I think I will whine about the part where it's been almost two hours since this was posted and no new posts.

http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyX

Maybe our Editrix has been taken hostage… by a piARRRRRRate!

Jus_Wonderin

I know. I am shaking and sweating. Loud noise make me bolt. I am hearing voices. I can't handle this. I just can't. I won't.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

I'm listening to Michael Jackson albums

OHGOD! PLEASE POST SOMETHING!!!!!!!

emmelemm

I'm almost actually doing some work! Heaven help me!

http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ MumbletyX

I can't view any videos here at work… I tried linking for a written description of this one… but the host page offers none, it doens't serve the imagination well.. kind of like reading a transcript of Jerky Boys' schtick instead of listening to the real thing.

MistaEko

Polygamous Sect vs. Cartels

Intrade is no longer taking bets on this contest.

Jus_Wonderin

Any one have a fix for the script error thing? Do I need to talk to my network admin?

BaldarTFlagass

I had that happen at my home computer last night and this morning. I'm not having any trouble with my work computer. I wonder wtf is up.

Jus_Wonderin

Hmmmm. I didn't check the site at home. It is sure annoying here. Cutting down on my Wonkette productivity.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

At my job, I get a passel of exception errors because our firewall blocks TMZ.com. No explanation, and it's not like I can't get other popular entertainment-based sites. So I'm guessing at my end, the TMZ video of Eastwood is sort of creating anaphylactic shock in my firewall

Jus_Wonderin

Really weird.

commiegirl99

Can you send a screenshot please, also browser etc?

Trinket

I like the hipster.

Katydid

NEEDZ MOAR BEHEADINGS!!!

MistaEko

Poison the Tequila, morans!

/Gus Fring'd

Misty Malarky

¡Ay, caramba!

Well, this clarifies Romney's doubling down on his asshat comments and that cold hard killer look in his eyes: he comes from a long line of expiación de sangre asesinos.

Oh, Mitty! Chu gots some 'splainin to do!

TribecaMike

We're all parasites now. And proud of it.

[Hey, didja know you can thumbs up yourself — no, not in that way (yet), perv — when not logged on? Sweet.]

An_Outhouse

Mormons are allowed to say "stupid shit"? I can't figure who is who. They all look like illegals to me.

Ansnarkist

Can I make a Breaking Bad joke?

No, I can't.

Redgyal

Just an observation, but I am willing to bet that these people didn't care much about the violence as long as it stayed outside of their community. Their anger is coming more from the fact that the someone dared to attack one of them than it does from the fact that innocent lives have been taken by evil men.

ttommyunger

Obviously they are part of the 47%, so who cares?

http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

What's going on with that neon sign's face? Faceless isn't sexy, regardless of how swirly its rack is.

sailingthestyx

good video series…thanks; asshat comments make me want to refrain from Wonkette for stretches of time to get away from the high school kids…yeah, yeah; I know…if I don't like the comments don't read them…I keep hoping that Wonkette will wander back to where it was a while back…bring back Anna Marie Cox to spank the current crew. Too cute by half.