A12: I’m ok I guess. The last few days I’ve been bingeing on Salt Water Taffy though. I haven’t eaten any of my ‘alcoholic foods’ (sugar/flour junk) for over eleven months now, but I guess I have to add candy to the list of foods I can’t control. Damn it!!! When is all this crap going to be over??!! I keep running to earthly answers to my emotional pain. When is it going to end?! — but otherwise — I’m ok I guess.

As most of you who read this blog know by now, I am in the process of releasing all my addictions and obsessions. If anyone here wants to take a stab at doing this, I believe that a firm hold on sobriety is necessary first before making this attempt. I don’t think it’s for those who are still unsteady on their feet from recently having let go of their primary addiction. For me, it’s been 34 years of only alcohol abstinence; ‘Easy Does It’… ‘First Things First’… ‘Think it Through’… ‘Live and Let Live’… ‘One Day (or moment) at a Time’… and working the Steps. Please be cautious if trying go the ‘no addiction/obsession’ route while you’re still struggling to stay sober because it can possibly introduce enormous amounts of stress and pain into your life. It took me a very long time to even take a stab at it. I’ve been praying for the strength to take this on for the last 30 years.

I am the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery. You must not have any other god but me. You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea.

These are the verses I’m totally laser-focused on right now. I am doing my level best to live by them. Suddenly I can see their profound meaning for our current times – as clear… as… day. To put it mildly, the rewards for making God my main man, are astonishingly miraculous.

Something profoundly wonderful has happened to me of late. It started in 1980 when I gave up my primary addiction – alcohol. Not long after I got sober, I began to lean very heavily on junk (flour/sugar) foods to distance myself from the agony of life without booze. I knew that doing the food thing was not good, but I was in so much emotional angst that I couldn’t stop myself. Two years into the agony of giving up this primary addiction, I had my first experience with your Christian God who (through the person of Jesus Christ) got through to me, in a very powerful way, how much He deeply, profoundly, and unconditionally, loved me. And He gave me the Holy Spirit in a very palpable way.

I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.