We write about widowhood as we live it. Together we examine the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of life as a widowed person. The views expressed here are those held by each individual author. We take no credit for their brillance; we just provide them with a forum for expressing their widowed journey in words that are uniquely their own.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

What's in a Name... MK II

I have a name!!

One of the things I really struggled with in early pregnancy was the idea of having a second boy. I really, really wanted a girl.

Not because I outright didn't want a boy, but because I had absolutely NO idea on a name. Ian and I had a girls name - Claire - agreed from our pregnancy with John, so I wanted a girl so I didn't have to worry about choosing a name, and they had something that was from Ian. As much as the name was a compromise from a list of 60 names, not having one we both liked and after weeks of arguing on options! One down side of a girl - all things sparkly and pink (so, so not me - that's what made me fear a girl!).

I know Ian had parameters of 'Biblical' for a name and that's all I had to go on in coming up with a boy's name, but nothing was feeling 'right'. And I looked through both obvious and obscure options from both the Old and New Testaments. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Then in mid-February I started getting emails from various craft blogs I read with ideas for decorating and crafts appropriate for St Patrick's day.

And my first thought was 'You idiot'.

Ian's birthday was 17 March, and combined with his Irish heritage, having St Patrick's day as his birthday was something he was inordinately proud of.

Not a Biblical name, but an exceedingly appropriate choice of boys name.

So from about 13 weeks, I had a boys name settled on. One I was very, very comfortable with. It felt right, was a name Ian would have probably considered and agreed to anyway, and it honoured Ian without being obviously named after Ian. With a three-year time gap between Ian's death and baby's arrival, I wasn't comfortable with using "Ian" as baby's first name, particularly since it's a variant of John, and I have one of those already! But I settled on using Ian for a middle name, since it goes nicely with Patrick.

So, I had names - Claire for a girl, Patrick for a boy.

Last week I had the mid-pregnancy morphology scan to check for abnormalities, and if I wanted, check gender.

My primary concern was baby's heart, given Ian's history. The sonographer spent a lot of time checking, asking which side Ian's co-arctation was on - something I couldn't answer, so they did a thorough check all over. I was relieved to find it all was looking fine.

And I chose to find out gender. Ian would be thrilled...

Baby boy #2, Master Patrick Ian, is on his way. Thank goodness for the brain wave on the name!

John is excited, and keeps running up and lifting my top to say hello to Patrick.

I just wish he wouldn't do it to pregnant women he doesn't know... (yes, he has run up to pregnant women and lifted their tops up!).

Congrats and I'm cracking up at the thought of John running up to say hello to all the tummies of the world but I'd imagine it's not too funny to the pregnant and non-pregnant women. Just apologize profusely and pray he doesn't do it to a rotund man! Haha!Sometimes, you just have to laugh on this journey, especially when a small child is along for the ride.--Marissa