His Friends Are Evil and Ruining Your Relationship

We have all known a guy or been friends with a woman who has a guy that has the most horrible anti-relationship friends in the world. These “friends” encourage cheating, not calling you, going to strip clubs (or other places you may not be happy with) talk trash about women, and give the worst advice possible. You hate these friends because you know when your boyfriend or husband goes out with these friends he won’t call like he is supposed to, won’t come home when he is supposed to, will get overly intoxicated, spend too much money, or is so full of testosterone stupidity that you want to kill both him and his friends.This is understandable.

The problem is that women often ask “Why doesn’t his friend respect our relationship?” or “Doesn’t this person know that they are causing problems in our relationship?”. They may or they may not, the bottom line is they don’t care.

His Evil Friends are Ruining Our Relationship

They look at you the same way you look at them. They used to have a great time with your man, and now you came along and ruined it. Your man used to always been there for them when they needed help, or to be entertained. They don’t feel they owe you squat. And they don’t. Your man is a big boy, this friend didn’t kidnap him, and he made his choices and decisions with his free will. It is up to your man to make his friends and family respect your relationship and create and enforce healthy boundaries with them. The friend mimics your man’s behavior and attitude. Don’t hate on the friend, instead deal with your man directly, and let him deal with his friend. It is his job and he needs to do it.

Don’t tell your man he needs to choose you or his friend, it’s not really about who he hangs out with, but the decisions he makes when out with other people. You don’t care who he hangs out with, so long as he doesn’t ______ (insert bad behavior). Let him know you don’t blame the friend, but him. He is making you the bad guy to his friends, and making his friends that bad guys with you. When in reality, he is the bad guy on both ends because he makes bad choices. He needs to understand, and so do you, that even if this friend disappeared another bad influence could come along. You are not hear to weed through his friends for the rest of his life. It is up to him to chose his friends, and behave accordingly with those friends, and if he can’t, he can keep his friends, but he is going to lose you.

Stop putting the focus on the friend, they are not the issue here. The final choices your man makes are his and his alone. His friend could set his balls on fire, so does that mean your man will as well? No, that he wont do, because it would hurt him, instead of you. He picks and chooses what influence he allows his friends to have on him.The same goes with you. If your girlfriends influence you to do things you know is going to piss off your husband or boyfriend, don’t throw your friends under the bus. You are a big girl, you need to take responsibility for the choices you make. If your friend is causing problems in your relationship, take it up with your friend. That is your job. And don’t take too long to do it or you may find yourself with friends but no boyfriend/husband!

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Sarah is a Certified Relationship Life Coach and Soulmate ~ Twin Flame expert with 20+ years experience helping clients around the world live the life and have the relationship they desire. Sarah is here to empower you to see the truth in your situation, not enable you to remain in a place that keeps you stuck and unhappy. Sarah will lift you to see the reality of your situation, providing guidance to see you through it. She will also help you get control of your relationship, if it can be saved, so you have can the relationship you have hoped for. Sarah co-hosts two weekly radio shows, primarily geared toward relationship issues, called Empower Enlighten Envision on Weds nights on BlogTalkRadio as well as CBS NewSkyRadio.

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2 Comments

jade

October 18, 2015 at 8:23 pm

That is all good and this is a great article. This is just not what my problem is. I’m dating this guy (A) and his friend (B) keeps telling me that A’s not telling me everything and whatnot, while at the same time B’s telling A basically the same thing except about me. B also told me some stuff that A told him in confidence, but he sort of twisted A’s words so it seemed like I was being left out of a situation that A had actually told me all about as well. A has told me to ignore B, but I find that very difficult since B and A still hang out together and I am often there as well. I feel really bad ignoring people and it feels weird when A and B are still talking together

I have been with my husband for years now. I have watched his friends change woman’s personalities( yes they are grown women) to just agree with them to avoid any conflicts. I don’t even know if my husbands friends realize it. I watch as seeming confident women go through the ringer to lose there sanity at points in time. While having body language portraying how they feel. In some cases full personality change. I’m still “fighting kicking and screaming or at times even hiding from them”My husband and I now have very good communication, but as soon as his friends come around projecting there hurts on others, expectations, and ideals he seems to retreat into that ppl pleasing mode with high aniexty. I have talked to him about this. They also make small situations into dramatic ones. It’s been 15 yrs. The ones with issues are mostly single or just got into a realtionship recently.They affect in a social setting with there friends girlfriends play on the fear of rejection.( I don’t have that fear) I have ( grown up in a dsynfuntional family they where worst lol) , of course I can empathize but at what cost?

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Copyright 2009-2014 All rights reserved. Written permission is required from the author to post on your site or be used in any way, shape, or form. If you quote an article please credit and supply a link to our original posting. While many people seem to be under the impression that we should be flattered that you use our work, we are not, plagiarism is plagiarism, and we do not find stealing our work and our ideas flattering at all and you will be prosecuted under the law.
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