These days, the bridal bouquet toss is as popular as Beanie Babies. There’s a mildly fond recollection of the pastime, but no one really wants to play with them anymore. Maybe the reason why is that somehow despite the “me” generation clamoring for attention online, clamoring for a bunch of flowers in front of family and friends is just not cool? Or maybe it’s also not cool to pressure people into marriage anymore (if it ever was)? Then again, maybe it’s because the floral game is a sexual double standard compared to the erotic garter toss? Or maybe it has something to do with identifying all the single ladies in the room and playing a game that implies being single is bad and undesirable? I’m gonna go with D. All of the Above.

(This post first appeared 4/17/2010) Come July, I am marrying a man, I will wear white, I will even wear high heels (for at least a portion of the wedding) and I call myself a feminist. As a bride and a feminist, my goal is to dissect the formal, patriarchal institution of weddings in order to modernize the practice and align with current women’s rights. So, because this is a topic that I have been actively thinking on for months, it came as no surprise to me when Jessica Valenti, feminist and author of Full Frontal Feminism and the website www.Feministing.org, announced her marriage to a man and her intention to wear a bridal gown. The overwhelming discontent and criticism from Valenti’s feminist readership, on the other hand, was a surprise.