Please HELP us, super stong-willed toddler!

HI LADIES!It's been forever! I do lurk every once-in-a-while, but I can't reply from my dang phone so I just get frustrated not being able to comment ;)

Anyway, I'm have A LOT of problems with Tyler's aggressiveness. Hitting, pushing, and even biting. Mostly to his sister (I realize some is expected), but even to strangers, family, and other children. It's gotten way out of hand recently. I can usually realize a stressor for him, acknowledge it, and really crack down on timeouts (meaning no warnings, and even for *trying* to hit). This isn't working. I'm finding him in timeout a gazillion times a day. Anyway, I am trying to tweak a few things about timeout, and have even started a sticker chart to reward when he's being nice. I know I need to give all this time and that consistency is the key.(And yes, he gets plenty of energy out, sleep, food, mommy attention, play time, down time, etc.)

I'm wondering if any of you have read any great books on this? I have a couple recommendations, but I'm taking any suggestions I can get. I want my little guy to learn his boundaries, and I'm not afraid to put out whatever effort it takes.

TIA advance, ladies!

HI LADIES!It's been forever! I do lurk every once-in-a-while, but I can't reply from my dang phone so I just get frustrated not being able to comment ;)

Anyway, I'm have A LOT of problems with Tyler's aggressiveness. Hitting, pushing, and even biting. Mostly to his sister (I realize some is expected), but even to strangers, family, and other children. It's gotten way out of hand recently. I can usually realize a stressor for him, acknowledge it, and really crack down on timeouts (meaning no warnings, and even for *trying* to hit). This isn't working. I'm finding him in timeout a gazillion times a day. Anyway, I am trying to tweak a few things about timeout, and have even started a sticker chart to reward when he's being nice. I know I need to give all this time and that consistency is the key.(And yes, he gets plenty of energy out, sleep, food, mommy attention, play time, down time, etc.)

I'm wondering if any of you have read any great books on this? I have a couple recommendations, but I'm taking any suggestions I can get. I want my little guy to learn his boundaries, and I'm not afraid to put out whatever effort it takes.

I bought the book 1-2-3 Magic (forgot the author) and now we count and Eli will usually stop what he is doing before I get to 3 (however, not always!) You basically count 1 and give them a little time before going to 2, however when you get to 3 you place them in timeout or remove them from the situation. Or at least that is how I do it and it seems to work. Good luck!

I bought the book 1-2-3 Magic (forgot the author) and now we count and Eli will usually stop what he is doing before I get to 3 (however, not always!) You basically count 1 and give them a little time before going to 2, however when you get to 3 you place them in timeout or remove them from the situation. Or at least that is how I do it and it seems to work. Good luck!

Hey Lisa!!! How are you guys doing?? I don't have any advice because I suck at disciplining Tyler - we mostly just do time outs but I'm not very good at them and he isn't around kiddos much to be aggressive to them ya know?

I wanted to say hi though and see how you have been! The board isn't very active anymore but I hope you get some helpful advice!!!

Hey Lisa!!! How are you guys doing?? I don't have any advice because I suck at disciplining Tyler - we mostly just do time outs but I'm not very good at them and he isn't around kiddos much to be aggressive to them ya know?

I wanted to say hi though and see how you have been! The board isn't very active anymore but I hope you get some helpful advice!!!

Hiii Kari!! I've actually been meaning to e-mail you, just to say hi! Wow, you're not kidding the board is really dead! How sad! :(I think we're actually getting somewhere, I took him to an indoor play area yesterday with no incident. I was on his heels the entire time, but that's OK - if that's what it takes! I still would love to read some about it, hopefully the few suggestions I already have will be helpful!So, how are you--is your wedding NEXT MONTH? Sooo exciting, I can't wait to see pics! And then you're going to TTC? :) Things are good here, just EXTREMELY busy with my two. Kali is now 10 months, crawling, standing and into everything. I was right in that it gets harder before it's going to get easier, IMO. I'm loving every moment of my crazy little world, though! They are SO much fun!Anyway, thanks for the reply!!

Hiii Kari!! I've actually been meaning to e-mail you, just to say hi! Wow, you're not kidding the board is really dead! How sad! :(I think we're actually getting somewhere, I took him to an indoor play area yesterday with no incident. I was on his heels the entire time, but that's OK - if that's what it takes! I still would love to read some about it, hopefully the few suggestions I already have will be helpful!So, how are you--is your wedding NEXT MONTH? Sooo exciting, I can't wait to see pics! And then you're going to TTC? :) Things are good here, just EXTREMELY busy with my two. Kali is now 10 months, crawling, standing and into everything. I was right in that it gets harder before it's going to get easier, IMO. I'm loving every moment of my crazy little world, though! They are SO much fun!Anyway, thanks for the reply!!

I use LOVE & LOGIC by Jim Fey and Foster Cline. I have several of their teaching books and have listened to Jim Fey speak in person. There are awesome ideas in there. The best part is that it is so natural (logical). If you google love and logic a ton of stuff will come up. I am currently reading "Parenting with Love and Logic" again and love it. There is also a Love and Logic for toddlers. It focuses on teaching them how to behave and staying consistent. The goal is to raise a child who will become a responsible adult. If you ever get a chance to listen to Jim Fey speak, do it! They have techniques for all sorts of situations and I'm sure if you google it you will find a bunch. HTH. Good luck!

Elizabeth

Hi Lisa,

I use LOVE & LOGIC by Jim Fey and Foster Cline. I have several of their teaching books and have listened to Jim Fey speak in person. There are awesome ideas in there. The best part is that it is so natural (logical). If you google love and logic a ton of stuff will come up. I am currently reading "Parenting with Love and Logic" again and love it. There is also a Love and Logic for toddlers. It focuses on teaching them how to behave and staying consistent. The goal is to raise a child who will become a responsible adult. If you ever get a chance to listen to Jim Fey speak, do it! They have techniques for all sorts of situations and I'm sure if you google it you will find a bunch. HTH. Good luck!

Aiden went through this phase and it lasted almost 6 months between the months before he turned two and a few months after turning two. It was so frustrating and very embarrassing. He didn't even seem to be doing it out of frustration or anger. If another child just looked at him, he would hit or shove that child. We did the time-outs, constantly hovering over him when we took him anywhere, and making him say "I'm sorry" to his victims. Finally, finally he stopped doing it. We still watch him like a hawk though and I'm worried he will staring hitting again but so far, so good. I don't think you are going to find anything that cures Tyler of this tendency. I sincerely believe that many toddlers go through this hitting/biting phase and eventually it will stop. (with my daughter, it was biting) I'm not saying you just let him do it though. Hopefully something will help you deal with it and get him to realize he shouldn't hit/bite/push. Good luck!

Aiden went through this phase and it lasted almost 6 months between the months before he turned two and a few months after turning two. It was so frustrating and very embarrassing. He didn't even seem to be doing it out of frustration or anger. If another child just looked at him, he would hit or shove that child. We did the time-outs, constantly hovering over him when we took him anywhere, and making him say "I'm sorry" to his victims. Finally, finally he stopped doing it. We still watch him like a hawk though and I'm worried he will staring hitting again but so far, so good. I don't think you are going to find anything that cures Tyler of this tendency. I sincerely believe that many toddlers go through this hitting/biting phase and eventually it will stop. (with my daughter, it was biting) I'm not saying you just let him do it though. Hopefully something will help you deal with it and get him to realize he shouldn't hit/bite/push. Good luck!

Hi!Thank you SO much! That is super helpful, I didn't realize there was a toddler version available! My mom actually recommended this read, but I thought it was geared toward older children. I will check it out right now! Thanks again, and sorry for the late reply--I didn't receive an email notification!

Hi!Thank you SO much! That is super helpful, I didn't realize there was a toddler version available! My mom actually recommended this read, but I thought it was geared toward older children. I will check it out right now! Thanks again, and sorry for the late reply--I didn't receive an email notification!

Thank you Andrea! I really thought he was over this phase, but it came back--with a vengeance! Holy Moly!! We're actually already doing better with his sticker chart, rewards, consistent time-outs (that had to be changed to his bedroom, which I was trying to avoid), and like you said being right on his heels in any "social" situation. It's super embarrassing, and nerve racking to have him "out"! Hahaha, I'm glad I can laugh now that I can see a little light at the end!Anyway, thanks again for the reply and sorry mine is so late. I didn't realize I wasn't getting email notifications! Take care!

Thank you Andrea! I really thought he was over this phase, but it came back--with a vengeance! Holy Moly!! We're actually already doing better with his sticker chart, rewards, consistent time-outs (that had to be changed to his bedroom, which I was trying to avoid), and like you said being right on his heels in any "social" situation. It's super embarrassing, and nerve racking to have him "out"! Hahaha, I'm glad I can laugh now that I can see a little light at the end!Anyway, thanks again for the reply and sorry mine is so late. I didn't realize I wasn't getting email notifications! Take care!

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