Jaymi Anderson: From a 'Skull Sweetie' to a 'Playful Cat,' Halloween costumes are NOT what they used to be

Related Media

Halloween is coming up and my daughters have been spending a lot of time planning their costumes.

We usually put them on a tight budget since I have little tolerance for spending money on things are only going to be used once. As a result, the girls are masters at developing dress-up attire around what we have at the house and what they want us to buy them anyway.

For instance, my oldest decided to be a nerd this year, mainly because she has been coveting a pair of neon green suspenders and some funky knee-high socks. My youngest put together a circus acrobat costume using an old leotard from the dress-up box. She scored some glittery tights and a hula-hoop from the deal.

Thus far, only minor injuries have been suffered from the hula-hoop. I have started a betting pool as to whether it will actually make it to Halloween. (Contact me if you want in on that action.) She has grandiose plans of pirouetting through the neighborhood with the hoop.

I have repeatedly reminded her that it will be cold and dark, but she is insistent that she will be barefoot and unencumbered by a parka.

Thankfully, we spend most of the holiday indoors at a church party.

But I digress.

While my husband and I were discussing the costume allowance this year, he spoke the mind of most parents when it comes to their girls, "I'll pay $40 for a costume if it's appropriate."

Unfortunately, that's easier said than done.

I understand that parents of boys also have a host of issues surrounding costume appropriateness; but I can only address the crazy that has taken over Halloween for females.

Dressing up toddler and preschool age girls is fairly simple. There are an abundance of cute animal outfits and long flowing princess dresses galore. But once they exit out of the princess stage (which does happen, even when you think you are beholden to Disney for the rest of your life), the skirts get shorter and costumes are just plain strange.

For example, military-girl attire consists of camouflage flare-legged pants and a top that ties well above the belly button.

Really?

My brother has been active duty Air Force for more than 20 years and it's safe to say he's never served alongside any woman dressed like that.

Some of my other favorites are butterfly costumes that come with wings attached to a dress with a lace-up bustier, a "Playful Cat" costume that appears to be ears and a tail stuck onto a French maid outfit, and a Zebra Hoody outfit that closely resembles the Flirty Jaguar one for older girls.

Once upon a time, there were understood rules about dressing up. Like that you had to be an actual thing, real or fictional, or at least a caricature of something from a book, movie or television. At the very least, people could recognize what you were.

There is no such standard anymore.

This year, my girls could be a Skull Sweetie, some things called Catarina and Batarina, a Fierce Fairy, a Starbright Witch, a Candy-Corn Witch or a Rockin' Out Witch. (Sidenote: Why are witch hats no longer full size? They are now creepy and tiny and perch on the side of the head.)

But wait, parents of girls, because if you want to be sufficiently terrified this Halloween; wander further down the aisle to the lingerie-department-masquerading-as-a-costume-section for teens and women.

You won't sleep for weeks.

Jaymi Anderson is married with two daughters. Read her regularly on Greeley Moms.