Shared Topic: What sort of Boss would you be?

This week’s Shared Topic is another of those creative types! Sephrenia from Guild Mum asks, if we were a raid boss, what sort of boss would we be? Check out the thread at Blog Azeroth to see how everyone else answered the topic!

If you are looking for my boss form, you can find her roaming the streets of undead Stratholme, exploring the corners and grieving for all those who have fallen to the Scourge.

As for her appearance, I have to say, I’ve always felt a deep connection with the gigantic women bosses in WoW. Bosses like the Maiden of Virtue in Kara or Maiden of Grief in Halls of Stone. I suppose being the tallest kid in school most of my life has taught me to empathize with other tall ladies.

Except for instead of that silly staffmace thingy, I would totally be smacking the main tank with my Giant Spoon. My emotes would be along the lines of “Do you want the spoon? DO YOU WANT IT????”

Me, though, I’m used to working with small children. My summer/part time jobs have always involved teaching or being a camp counselor. See, I happen to love kiddie games. If I were a boss, a big part of my mechanics would involve a favorite game of mine:

Every minute, I call out a number between 2 and 5. Raiders have a few seconds to group up according to that number. For example, if I call out three, they have to get into groups of three. Anyone who isn’t in a group of the correct number would be transformed into a stone figurine and stored on my shelf.

I squeal with glee at the drama that would arise from guilds deciding who will have to be sacrificed first.

Another of my featured mechanics would be my unrequited love of singing. As much as I enjoy singing at the top of my lungs, singing, unfortunately, does not enjoy me. Nor does the raid, as they flee in terror and attack each other every time my boss-self bursts into song.

Since I don’t want to be a one tank fight, I would have a chance on hit to put a “submissive” debuff on the tank every time I wack him. Once the debuff reaches a stack of 5, that player becomes completely submissive and must do my bidding. Think madness on the Yogg fight. To avoid becoming my slave, the tanks must taunt me back and forth.

I guess I should give the raid healers a little something to do as well. I’ll admit, I’d love to have fire summoning skills. Whenever my frustration builds up too much….bang! Half the raid gets hit by my angry fireball of doom! Hey, don’t want those non-pally healers to be bored!

As for loot…

Loot is always touchy. I would drop a Giant Spoon, for sure. In case you were wondering, a Giant Spoon is a 2-hander that’s classified as a mace. Otherwise, I would drop trinket. Wonderful, awesome, lovely trinkets that do nothing but be cool. Along the lines of the Deputy Pa’trolla Badge or the Super Simian Sphere.

Oh, I suppose I could drop a mount and a pet, just so that people would venture to my lair to kill me. I’m thinking of a pretty, flying mount. The style of the gorgeous Ashes of Al’ar comes to mind. As for a pet, I adore the Ammen Vale Lashling, but that already exists… Maybe a slightly more aggressive flower. A carnivorous plant that gobbles down critters. Oh yeah!

So what do you say? Do you have what it takes to defeat the Bossy Pally and her Giant Spoon?

“Every minute, I call out a number between 2 and 5. Raiders have a few seconds to group up according to that number. For example, if I call out three, they have to get into groups of three. Anyone who isn’t in a group of the correct number would be transformed into a stone figurine and stored on my shelf.”

This immediately brought me to Red Rover. Imagine a boss that forces certain classes, genders, races to run to the other side of the room. Not only would it be unique, it would force variety of every sort.

I wish Blizzard would put in some "fun" bosses like this. Something challenging but the loot is just quirky pieces and some pets. Give us something to do on those off nights where raiding would be fun but you can't do anything that your guild might do on regular nights.

I like the idea of a boss with fun mechanics like that that drop nifty novelty-type loot or mounts. I doubt I could come up with anything myself; I’d be apt to come up with a boss encounter insanely easy or impossible to defeat.

For example, even though I’ll never, ever see the fight, I would wonder what the Lich King encounter would be like before it went Live. One thought I had was that it’d be cool if every player he killed was replaced by a Ghoul or some other Undead that the Raid would have to deal with in addition to the boss. (Meaning no Battles Rezzes.)

I’ve wondered about that too. I mean, weaving those sharp bloody swords and getting up close and personal to all those infected places isn’t exactly hygienic. It’s good we don’t get infected though. I remember that quest chain with the dying pally that sends us to get every single magical person in Azeroth involved in his cleansing…

When fighting Yogg, there was a madness debuff that stacked over time or when you did something wrong. If it got too high, you’d be permanently mind controlled. Even if you died and got battle rezzed, you’d stay mad. I really liked the concept, I wish I had gotten to see Yogg more than twice. It was a good fight.

I know (well, “knew”, depending on how you look at it) a few people who have gone on to bigger and better things as far as Raiding goes. I’ve heard bits and pieces about some of the Raids, and they do sound rather fun sometimes.

A part of me misses the fellowship and the thrill of seeing new content and downing new bosses, but it’s probably a case of rose-colored glasses, since I know for sure that I don’t miss the stress.

And as far as bosses go, I had to sometimes laugh at the James Bond-y nature of some of them. Like, if Heigan really wanted us dead, why didn’t he just flood the whole room with his goop?