Un-jumbling my thoughts

This morning my car and camper trailer are being inspected so that I can transfer their registration to the State we moved to earlier this year. This means I am sitting in a very cold waiting room in a mechanics yard for an hour. After the chaos of getting all three children out the door this morning I am enjoying the peace (although not the cold so much!)

Peace means time to sit and reflect, and organise my thoughts. (If only I had bought a thermos of tea life would be perfect!). My thoughts are a bit jumbled and if course I need to work out why! I rarely air my dirty laundry on this blog, but today those stinky jeans and smelly tops might get a bit of airing as I share some of my thoughts on parenting and divorce.

I have had some challenging interactions with my ex-husband and his current girlfriend over the last couple of days and I think that is the cause of the ‘jumbling’. I have realised that I resent having to form a new relationship with her because he has started a new relationship. I didn’t choose to have her in my life, but because of his choices, I have to start the whole dance of explaining the background of why my children behave the way they do, interact (or don’t) with their father the way they do, are triggered by certain behaviours (no matter how illogical they are), and why even though he may be an awesome father in her eyes, there are aspects of our children’s care where we have very different views. It is one of those side effects of divorce that you don’t factor in (if you factor anything in.) Whether she is a lovely woman or not, having to tiptoe through the awkwardness of not criticising this man she is ‘very serious about’ and not screaming ‘open your eyes woman – do you honestly think it was all my fault, and all the fault of his next partner’ down the phone takes it out of you!

And there is the ongoing conversation with him about why I am being so selfish as to not be working full time in a public service job. If only I would do that ‘everyone’s lives would be easier’. The repetition of the same conversation, with no new understanding or recogition on his part about my role in supporting our son, and his bizarre accusations that he would be happy to pay child support to my father, but not to me as he knows that I ‘spend it all on fabric’ (yes – truly – he said that) are exhausting. While the advice to ‘just not engage with him’ is sage, there are occasions (like last night) where talking to him about what is happening for our kids is in the children’s best interests. Until he asks when I am returning to work because he is sick of giving me money. (Of course he isn’t giving me money – he is contributing to the support of our children who live with me the majority of the time.)

This all makes me look back and wonder how I ended up here. How did I fall in love and marry someone who has such different views on life from me? How did I hide the truth from myself for so long? Why do my children have to suffer because of decisions that are beyond their control? And there you have it – a jumbled mind. Sigh. Life is complex. And the grief for the loss of what could have been is deep.

As always I need to balance all of this out with the good things in life. On Mother’s Day my boy, who had a bit of a rough morning before he came home to me, curled up on my knee and fell asleep for over an hour. Honestly, it was the best gift! None of my kids have done this for more years than I can remember. To just sit and hold my usually wriggly, jiggly son, breathe in his soft boy scent, feel his warm skin and his gentle heart beat, was a gift that I cannot measure. My girls made me cups of tea, gave me big hugs and spent time talking to me. I am truly a lucky parent. The simple things in life bring so much joy.

Now my car and trailer have the all clear, I am heading home for a warm cup of tea and to sit in front of the fire to defrost while I catch up on bookwork, and, although I have no answers to my rhetorical questions, my mind is less jumbled. Thanks for listening to my brain dump. I hope that your week is not full of jumbled thoughts, and that you have moments for quiet reflection on the good things in life.

Thank you – it is a huge compliment telling me that I am being mature when I feel like a two year old wanting to throw a huge tantrum and jump up and down and rant about how unfair it all is! (Maybe my maturity is reflected in the fact that I recognise that behaving like that at two wasn’t terribly effective, and it is likely to be less effective 40+ years later!)

the little bird

Welcome to a little bird made me!
I am Theresa, the little bird who makes things. If I am going to label myself I am the mother of three chicks, a fabric addict, designer, small business owner, friend, lover of music, owner of chickens, and now a farmer on land just outside Canberra, Australia.

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Today I am packaging up a bulk order of my reusable teabags for a client who will include them in gift hampers, and working on another bulk order for a different customer who will include them in gift boxes! I admire how many people are supporting the shift to handmade and sustainable products. ... See MoreSee Less

Good morning! Here is a splash of bright colour to help you start your week- a custom order I am working on for a customer to gift to her sister. I love knowing who orders are going to - it helps with the design and styling because each cosy is unique, just like each customer ! (And yes, that is my knee acting as the model for the cosy!)

Well, I have done it - completed my order for a set of tea cosies for the beautiful cafe Le Bon Melange. In the process I think I have perfected my pattern for making the tea cosies, so decided it was time to share it here. This is the first time that I have published a crochet pattern, so please be gentle with me - and let me know if you find any errors!! [ 575 more words ]

I haven't been talking about my reusable tea bags in all the excitement of making colourful tea cosies so thought it was time I did! A friend asked me today what the story is with this concept and how to use them so here is an explanation.

I drink a fair bit of loose leaf tea and use infusers to make a mug of tea but for some of my cups an infuser is the wrong shape/size etc and that is where a tea bag is easier. But then I discovered that my 'organic fair trade tea' teabags weren't breaking down in the compost or worm farm because they are made with plastic in them 😱. Enter the organic cotton reusable tea bag as a replacement!

To use them I put a teaspoon of loose tea in the bag and draw the string tight, then use it as I would a normal tea bag. After your tea has reached the strength you want you can either empty the tea leaves while the bag is wet by turning it inside out, then rinse the bag and let it dry before using again, or you can leave the bag to dry and shake the dry leaves out, then rinse and dry. I like to shake the dry leaves out but it means that the tannins from the tea stains the cotton. This doesn't affect the functionality of the tea bag, just the look! You can pop them in the wash for a deeper clean (inside a lingerie bag so they don't get lost!) or give them a soak in bicarbonate soda and vinegar to remove any buildup.

One of the photos below shows the discolouration of a teabag after several weeks of continuous use. Although the fabric will eventually wear out and need replacing I estimate that I with 4 bags in circulation in my kitchen I have conservatively saved over 100 teabags from becoming landfill in a couple of months, and the bags are still going strong!

I like that these are really portable- pre-filled at home they slip into a pouch in my bag to take with me. I hope to release travel pouches for them soon so that you can safely carry dry bags out and wet bags in without making a mess in your bag!

If you haven't any questions please don't hesitate to ask! (And I do wholesale these.) ... See MoreSee Less