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Film intelligence: Cannes do

Every week there are dozens of film news stories. Every week, we read them all and bring you the five most important ones in the single most important blog post you’ll ever read (today [at this moment]). This week: the south of France, a bus in the Bronx, and heavy competition for Jobs.

1. MOONRISE Over Cannes

The Cannes Film Festival kicked off in high style yesterday — shirts and shoes! — commencing the 2012 installment of one of the oldest and most prestigious film festivals in the entire world. The Opening Night Selection this year was the world premiere of Wes Anderson’s MOONRISE KINGDOM, starring Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand, Edward Norton, Harvey Keitel, and — who else? — Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray. Early reviews out of Cannes were extremely positive, with critics hailing it as “a Wes Anderson movie” and “Anderson being Anderson.” In other words, it wasn’t broke, and Anderson didn’t fix it, and then he had it stare at the camera in slow-motion while 60s British invasion music played. The Cannes Film Festival, which includes world premieres by Carlos Reygadas, David Cronenberg, Jeff Nichols, and Michael Haneke, runs through May 27. [Rotten Tomatoes]

2. THE WE AND THE I and Everyone We Know

Speaking of Cannes and world premieres and mega-talented auteurs, Michel Gondry’s latest film, THE WE AND THE I, premieres in the Directors’ Fortnight sidebar at Cannes later this week. Its official synopsis from the Fortnight page describes it as “the heartfelt and comical story of the final bus ride home for a group of young high school students and graduates” but an article about the film on Gothamist — which also features an embedded version of the film’s trailer — claims that Gondry has described the movie as science-fiction and said that the teens “travel into the future by mistake and discover a machine that keeps people younger.” Of course, he could be speaking metaphorically: leaving high school for good is, in a way, traveling into the future; the machine that keeps people young could be a camera (or, y’know, a portable Botox injector). The film does not have a U.S. distributor yet, so someone please pick this film up so we can figure out what the hell Michel Gondry is talking about. [Gothamist]

3. TERMINATOR 3 Star Nick Stahl Reported Missing

In 1990, Edward Furlong was discovered by a casting director in a Boys and Girls Club; eventually, he was cast as the young John Conner in TERMINATOR 2, a the boy would would grow up to be the future leader of humanity in a war against machines. In the twelve years between T2 and T3, Furlong developed a substance abuse problem, so John Conner was recast for the second TERMINATOR sequel, where he was played this time by Nick Stahl. In a weird and sad irony, it seems that drug problems may have claimed another John Conner. TMZ reports that Stahl’s wife has reported the actor missing, having last seen him over a week ago. TMZ’s sources claim that Stahl has been spending time at Skid Row and that in February of this year Stahl’s wife asked a judge to limit the actor’s access to the couple’s daughter out of fear that he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Though Stahl never had another role as high profile as John Conner, he remained a very interesting actor; he was great as a despicable villain in SIN CITY and moving as a paraplegic who becomes an unlikely detective in an underseen gem called QUID PRO QUO. The fact that two guys cast to play the same character succumbed to the same personal problems is one of the strangest coincidences I’ve seen in a long time. Hopefully Stahl is found soon and given the help he needs. [TMZ]

4. Enthusiasm Uncurbed

Admittedly, with a filmography that includes SOUR GRAPES, WHATEVER WORKS, and THE THREE STOOGES, Larry David’s movie career hasn’t exactly put him next in line to get his hand prints cemented in front of the Chinese Theater. But as the mastermind behind Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm hope springs eternal that someday he’ll bring his considerable comedic talents to bear on the big screen in a way worthy of his gifts. This week came word of what could be that worthy project: an untitled comedy that will be directed by SUPERBAD and ADVENTURELAND filmmaker Greg Mottola. The details of the plot are being kept under wraps — because that’s what you do when you want to preserve something’s freshness, whether it’s produce or a spec script — but the film is being written by Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, and David Mandel who — and here’s where it gets very interesting — are all Seinfeld writing alumni. In the immortal words of George Costanza: “I am down! Mark me down!” [The Hollywood Reporter]

5. biOpic

We’ve already had competing volcano movies, competing asteroid movies; this year we’ve even got competing Snow White movies. Now, are you ready for competing Steve Jobs biopics? No? Well too bad because it’s happening anyway. You’ve already heard about the independent Jobs film that stars Ashton Kutcher in the title role. Now Aaron Sorkin has been hired to write a screenplay based on the bestselling Walter Isaacson biography of Jobs published shortly after the Apple founder’s death last October. Sorkin won an Academy Award for his screenplay for THE SOCIAL NETWORK based on the story of the founding of Facebook. So I guess we should all expect his screenplay on the life of Bill Gates, tentatively titled GATES AND WINDOWS, sometime around the year 2017, followed by his screenplay on the life of whoever invented Instagram, tentatively titled SOMEONE PAID A BILLION DOLLARS FOR THIS, in 2020. [Deadline]