By 8:15 a.m. on Valentine’s Day, the police scanner in the newsroom was already squawking: A man was refusing to vacate the front porch of his ex-girlfriend’s home.

Valentine’s Day is a happy holiday, but clearly for some folks, it’s downright painful.

Now, it’s highly doubtful that Monday’s front-porch dispute was due to Valentine’s Day, but it’s not at all unusual for police to see a spike in domestic violence incidents surrounding the one day dedicated to love.

Is it because a day meant to honor love has been taken hostage by expectations that even Shakespeare couldn’t meet?

If you believe the ads, if you don’t receive or give a gift of substance on Feb. 14, you’re not fit to live.

According to a data website, Avvo.com, divorce filings jump by at least 40 percent in the days immediately following Valentine’s Day.

That grocery store bouquet isn’t looking so bad now, is it?

The website attributes the increase to people fulfilling delayed New Year’s resolutions and to the “waiting to exhalers,” those who give their partners a last chance to stand and deliver.

It’s often suggested that one advantage of marriage is it puts an end to the uncertainty that looms over Valentine’s Day. You’d think. But last week, former U.S. Rep. Christopher Lee of New York may have broken a land-speed record for resignations for quitting just hours after it was revealed he posted a shirtless photo of himself on a dating site.

SOCIAL MEDIA

In nature, some male birds puff out their chests, flap their wings and issue mating calls to attract females. Apparently, so do some humans. But Lee already has a female, more commonly known as a wife. Undaunted by this technicality, he advertised himself as a “fit, fun and classy” divorcee — and used his real name.

Naturally, he was Googled.

If you aren’t even smart enough to cheat properly, the last thing you should be doing is using technology. Which part of “social media” don’t some people get?

Monday, by the way, didn’t get much better. Later in the day, area police were dispatched to investigate a couple seen arguing in front of their kids.

The Spanish poet-priest Pedro Calderon de la Barca wrote, “Love that is not madness is not love.” But fighting on Valentine’s Day probably isn’t what he had in mind.