Should People Who Drink On the Job Be Fired?

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You want the smartest life advice in the world? Don't ask A.J. Jacobs. Ask A.J. and his 122,000 Facebook friends. Esquire's editor-at-large sifts through the wisdom of the crowd to solve all your toughest questions about sex, manners, food and the issue of thick, lustrous arm hair. Send questions to @ajjacobs, or ask A.J. via his Facebook page.

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION

"I'm a small-business owner, and I noticed that one of my employees tweeted, 'Just had three beers at lunch.' This was on a weekday. I was outraged—but maybe I'm being old-fashioned. What do you think? No big deal? Fireable offense? Somewhere in between? What should I do?" —Jacob

As many of my Facebook friends point out, Jacob, we wish we had more information from you. For starters, what kind of job does this proud guzzler have?

On the other hand, there are plenty of jobs where it's okay to swill three brews at lunch. There's, let's see…journalist covering the beverage trade for major magazines. Or copywriter at Sterling Cooper. Or mayor of Toronto.

But even without the context, we can give some advice. My Huddled Masses break down into two camps.

1. Don't be a buzzkill!

About thirty-five percent of my Facebook friends say you need to chill. As Victor Ozols says, "This dude rulez." (Note: Victor Ozols is a journalist who covers the beverage trade for major magazines. For realz.)

One responder writes, "Did it effect his performance? If not, who cares?" (Note she uses the word effect instead of the proper verb, affect. Because she's wasted. Just joshing. Don't sue.)

Others point out that there might be mitigating factors. Perhaps it was a birthday lunch (Jonet Greene). Or the employee is a large man unaffected by three measly drinks (Deryck Dunn), or autocorrect changed his original "three beans" (Dave Macdonald). Could happen.

And several of my Facebook followers say that you, Jacob, are the problem. "Mind your own business and don't cyberstalk your employees," scolds Jessica Rose. (Note to Jessica's cyberstalking boss: Jessica is a valuable member of our advice team, so don't give her any grief over the four hours she spends on Facebook each day. She's helping those in need.)

2. Be a buzzkill!

The majority of my Facebook friends say that your elbow-bending worker needs to be reprimanded. If the employee handbook says "no drinking," then it's not even a question. But even worse than the alcohol, this guy's tweet shows a remarkable lack of good judgment and professionalism.

Or as William Fogel puts it, the tweet "screams: 'I am stupid.'"

Plus, as Janice Isaac points out, even if he's not buzzed, "he'll be peeing like a racehorse after lunch and will waste valuable work time. Go tell him off. But first have four beers for courage."

The Verdict

I side with the majority here. There should be some fallout—more for the idiocy of the tweeting than for the drinking itself.

If this is a first offense, then I think firing is probably too harsh (as is John Podhoretz's idea of giving Jacob "a post-lunch task involving a blowtorch and an X-Acto knife," which might cause you some OSHA issues).

I'd talk to him in private. Give him a warning. Tell him that if he does it again, he will be canned. Ask him whether he might have a drinking problem, and if so, whether he has considered a program. Explain to him that Twitter is public and that his clients can see his doofusry.

And if you haven't already, make sure you write an employee handbook with a clear position on booze and social media. Oh, and number of permitted trips to the bathroom—as an additional disincentive to drink on the job.