Thus begins the second section of Scrutiny Sunday, what a bonus! TWO posts in one day to make up for disappearing for a few weeks. That makes up for it, yes? That loud no and shaking of your head, or throwing your arms up in outrage signals to me that yes, it will make up for it. Thanks guys, appreciate it.

Enough with the rambling (or not really, considering my entire posts are just structured ramblings), and on with this weeks second topic. Which is…. spicy Chinese food. Yes, it’s a real hot topic. Eesh, sorry.

I bring this up as I found myself the other week in one of LA’s more cultural cities, an Asian one at that. (I’m not being racist here, it’s just where a lot of Asians live) We simply had to go to this one restaurant, hidden deep in the random onslaught of roadside plazas and stores along a main road. Considering it was near an Asian supermarket, a tapioca place (I’ll post about this more later as I have a newfound love in boba), a Hello Kitty store (they do exist, much to my amusement and dismay) and quite a few other restaurants, all Chinese or Vietnamese. Now, I do love a bit of spicy food but apparently my mouth disagrees to large amounts of the stuff, much to my annoyance. So when I realised, once I had been steered into a place that actually had the word ‘Chilli King’ in the restaurant name, I may be in for a treat and pain.

As the menu was entirely in Chinese, I sat and browsed the pictures while entrusting my lunch/dinner meal to my dining partner. Yes, they should give out medals for that kind of bravery. So, what was ordered?

Frog. Pig’s feet. And chicken. Oh, and numerous glasses of water. Our waitress gave up on refilling our glasses and brought over an entire carafe. Of those, I touched the frog, as it was just a tiny bit too spicy and eating it would take too long between gulping for water and waiting for the fire to die down slightly before resuming. My chicken dish was the least spicy of them all, and I really enjoyed it. Still needed plenty of water though. The pig’s feet (I’ve tried them before, they aren’t bad but usually prepared uber spicy) I left entirely to my dining partner. The verdict? Yum! I’m keen to return. After my mouth recovers.

Maybe not so literally served…

Short post but pushing out two after so long has been difficult. How do you do with spicy food? Eaten anything interesting in that department? Let me know, I’m in need of a spicy food training partner. Sure we’ll burn our tongues so the conversation won’t be that great, but the food will be good at least? No promises on the frequency of posting but things should return to normal when I go home. (Yes I’m still in America, wish I could stay but they’ll kick me out if I’m here much longer) Until then, you’re stuck with posts about Chilli King restaurants. Suckers, you came back to read this thinking it’d be something decent.

Scrutiny Sundays are a creation of Reputation@Stake over at The Stupid Bet, share your link if you’re participating so I/he/we can all devour spicy animals toge- or just so I can share it as well.

Leading a super busy holiday life without a functioning keyboard/constant internet access makes posting frequently a bit hard. But, I will persevere and this Sunday will be a double post to make up for missing last weeks (and the previous weeks, but at least I posted something those days).

First topic for Scrutiny Sunday this week is… drumroll please, I know you’ve all been missing these…

Seals

The seal wasn’t exactly this colour, but it had this expression

Yes, those mammilian aquatic beings that honk/yell AWR AWR AWR given any chance. Slippery suckers. The place I stayed last was right near the shore of a particular bay. We checked in, sorted out our things and went up to the room. Only to hear a strange noise occasionally, that made us stop everything and listen the first few times.

“That sounds like… can it be a seal?”

“Well, we are near the ocean but… maybe it’s something else?”

“…What else makes that kind of noise?”

“Your singing voice!”

Yep, I retain my wit even in unfamiliar territory.

The following day we went down to the beach/wharf/pier at sunset to snap a few shots and have a look around. The noises are louder now and appear to be coming from somewhere close, but I still can’t see that damn seal. I scanned the water eagerly to no avail. Giving up and accepting the fact that maybe seals can now become invisible, we continued walking around looking for a restaurant to eat at. We stopped at a bench to take another photo, and then I heard it. Coming from extremely close by. I look over to the left and hey presto, there’s a seal. In an aquarium tank. But wait, there’s two in there! Yes, our wild invisible seals turned out to be residents of a mini aquarium/shop, and were having fun sliding around, being all sealy, and yes, loudly AWR AWR AWRing at every chance.

A quick guide to when seals (or sea lions, I ignorantly use the terms interchangeably) ‘bark’ (go AWR AWR AWR)

When they look at youz

When you look at them

When they look at each other

Before they slide down their ramp

After they slide down their ramp

Before they dive into the pool

After they emerge from the pool

Randomly without cause

Now you know. But they were cute and amusing to watch. Noisy things. At least they aren’t invisible?

So, the promised post never came. My keyboard is broken and this is all typed using the on-screen keyboard. So so painful. Back to regular posting soon I hope. Once I get a temporary one or fix this. Likely the former. See you soon hopefully!

Today on Cooking with MoS, I intend to tell the tale of egg-breadroll-baconthings. I don’t actually have a name for them, since it’s not my recipe or idea. They are just yum. Feel free to suggest a suitable name. I’m still not sure why I add posts about cooking but I usually act like an idiot in the kitchen. This behaviour isn’t limited to the kitchen, it just showcases there occasionally. Which makes better post fodder.

I give credit where credit is due for this recipe, but I couldn’t find a suitable word for the person who’s ingenious idea this was. We’ll just call her ‘Ms Awesome’. This may get confusing as I am Chef Awesome as well, so perhaps we’ll go with something different. ‘Ms Amazing’? It’ll do.

Since I don’t have a suitable name for this, you can figure out what’s going on as I tell you about it. I know, egg-breadroll-baconthings does describe it a little, but I still need an air of mystery and suspense otherwise you’ll quit reading now. If you already hadn’t.

First thing you’ll need is some eggs. Chicken eggs are usually the best bet, then possibly other fowl. Lizard eggs may be a little hard to come by, and snakes eggs could be more trouble than they are worth. I won’t even get into using the nearest female’s eggs as I’m sure mentioning human organ harvesting may draw in the wrong crowd as search terms. Lucky it’s not too crowded with readers in here so this may be a good thing. Maybe. Right, so you have your chicken eggs. I’m going to assume you used chicken eggs, regardless. You’ll need… a few. Buy the 18 pack just to be sure. Or keep stockpiling your hens eggs for as long as it takes to aquire them. You don’t need 18 to be honest, but it never hurts to have extra. Plus, buy in bulk and save, right? Right.

A task force of 138 hens worked day and night to produce these fine eggs. Egg-cessive?

Now you want to beat your eggs. I’ll pause for innuendo here… and we’re back. Seriously don’t need a beater, just break them in the bowl… well don’t break them -in- the bowl since I assume you aren’t supposed to eat the shells and I’m not researching that to find out. You may get all fancy and break them and empty the egg into the bowl in one movement with one hand if you are capable. If you aren’t, you might as well try anyway. You’ll usually figure out of you have this talent fairly quickly. (Hint, if it takes you longer than 20 seconds and you still get shell in the bowl just use both hands.) I myself smash the egg against the bench. I also often forget that I just need to crack the shell and not the entire egg so have a cloth nearby as you may end up being too strong for your own good. I’m just too powerful for those. I don’t need weak eggs in my breakfast anyway! Stir/mix the eggs.

Only the strongest eggs make it

Heat the pan. Add some oil. If oil is not available, bacon grease is a good alternative. Oh, if you are using bacon grease this is the step you make some bacon grease by either microwaving or frying up some bacon. If you aren’t, you’ll still need to do this anyway so just get it over and done with. Or do it later. No pressure.

As the pan is warming up and the bacon is cooking (or not cooking), you need to get your mini breadrolls and slice them neatly in half. Messily in half is usually how it turns out, but why would I tell you to slice them messily? Then, you dip the halves in the egg mixture and put them on the frying pan. By dip, I do mean soak/dip. Use your imagination. Flip when one side is cooked(ish).

If there are any insects flying around in the kitchen, designate yourself as the CHAMPION FLY KILLER and arm yourself. As I was handed a teatowel/washcloth and told to ‘get rid of that damn fly’, this instantly became my weapon. Utilize your surroundings. Know how to wield and use your weapon against the target. In my case, I flicked it as one would with a wet towel from halfway across the room. Its cunning/ignorant flight pattern caused my teatowel to hit the air immediately below it. A miss? No. This created a temporary vacuum, and as my teatowel retreated back to my hand, air rushed to fill the space. The air the fly was flying in. Cue downward spiral into the abyss (or behind the vaccuum cleaner.) Aha, round one to MoS.

Keep an eye on the cooking though. Or two usually works better. Until… a movement was spotted. THE FLY WAS BACK FOR MORE?! Oh here we go. This shit just got real. The fly then made the mistake of landing. Tsk tsk. I stealthily crept forward, mindful of my shadow and movements so as not to alert the fly. Aaand… WHAM. One squashed fly and one Ms Amazing scared more than she ever would have been by that fly. She turned around to see what the commotion was about and I, in one dramatic move, uncovered the teatowel to reveal… the squashed fly.

DIE INSECT DIE

Serve with bacon on top/between two halves. Mmm-mmm. Oh, that’s serve the breadroll-egg things with bacon, not the fly. Protein or not, the breadrolls taste better. Probably.

I included a knife in this picture so it’d look more badass

They look better in real life, and also when someone other than me makes them. I even had supervisioncompany. As long as it tastes good, right? My knife (that I found in the kitchen) tells me I’m a good cook (it says it on the blade, I think it’s the brand but still might be etched there just for me), so that makes it true because you wouldn’t want to disagree with my knife, would you? Didn’t think so. Now that you’re feeling sufficiently threatened, go make some. Or don’t. More for me.

Got a few hours left to make a Scrutiny Sunday post, and don’t have anything to talk about. Ahh, the downside of being completely lazy on holidays and not doing much at all. Posts have thinned back to once a week, which happens to fall in nicely with WordPress’s DailyWeekly Post deal. I think it’s sorta keeping on doing what I’m already doing, but that still counts right? Sorta like when you do absolutely nothing out of the ordinary and get rewarded for it, in the supermarket for example. Ten bars of Hersheys chocolate for ten dollars! I was already going to buy ten bars, this saves me heaps! (Yes, I really do buy that much chocolate. Mmmm.)

On with the Scrutiny Sunday details! This week, I’m calling on your help to solve a mystery.

I was innocently hanging out the washing in the backyard (on one of the sunny days, boo cold weather) and this dog will not stop barking at me. I continue on with the task at hand, then turn around to see where this dog is (and take aim… just kidding.) This may surprise you, but the dog had actually… I’ll let you see for yourself.

Can you spot the creature in this picture?

Yes. The dog is actually standing on the roof. This beast wanted so badly to bark at me within direct line of sight that it scaled a roof.

Demon dog

Just look at it’s glaring red eyes, razor sharp teeth glistening with drool, and demonic expression. Perhaps it needed line of sight so it could SHOOT ME WITH ITS LASER EYES or HURL A FIREBALL AT ME. Luckily, I gestured appropriately to tell it where to go so it refrained from using its powers and just continued to bark. And bark. And bark some more.

Once, there was a stray dog in my backyard back home. I, being the animal expert I pretend to be, walked out there and attempted to shoo it away. I, being the non animal expert and in the way of said dog’s vacation in our yard, instantly became a dinner option. You know how you hear stories of women lifting cars due to adrenaline? I hurdled, yes hurdled, a fence taller than I was at the time. Witnesses immediately found the comedic value in this too much to handle and fell over laughing while I wondered how on earth I cleared the fence, only touching it to spring off the top of it. I’m going to pretend it was due to my super powers and not how scared I was when that dog lunged at me.

Ok so I didn’t want to draw a dog. You get the idea.

Back to the rooftop wandering mutt. I’m onto you dog. Maybe that’s why you didn’t unleash your powers. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE THOUGH, so -oh damn it knows where I’m staying too. Luckily its powers don’t seem to extend to jumping off the roof towards me. I’m safe for now. Just have to be extra aware when I attempt to hang out my underwear and tshirts on the line. Bring it on, dog!

Oh and the mystery? How’d the dog get there? What superpower does it possess? Why am I posting while slightly inebriated?

Scrutiny Sundays are a creation of Reputation@Stake over at The Stupid Bet, share your link if you’re participating so I/he/we can all warn the world about these dangerous dogs- or just so I can share it as well.