It all went by so fast. One day, I was guiding my little boy as he learned to navigate the elementary school system with food allergies. The next, he was in high school, asserting his independence.

While we had always encouraged Julian to become self-sufficient, it was still a bit unnerving to consider the new risks he might face in a work environment.

Not one to draw attention to himself, I knew that Julian disclosed his allergies to a limited number of friends. I worried that his shy demeanor might pose a bigger threat in both seeking employment and once on the job, where trained teachers and administrators were not standing by. As a precaution, I walked Julian through different scenarios, and encouraged him to step into the shoes of others. “Think how horrible your co-workers would feel if you had a reaction and they did not know what to do.”

Reflecting on this difficult stage of letting go, l sought advice from Kyle Dine, the youth program coordinator for Anaphylaxis Canada. He recently consulted members of his youth advisory panel and offers the following valuable tips to allergic teens – so they can safely earn a paycheque.

Work for peanuts, not with peanuts.
Intrinsically, there are some workplaces that might not be appropriate for a teen with food allergies. For example, there is increased risk of wheat exposure working in a traditional bakery or shellfish contact washing dishes at a seafood restaurant. But there are many summer jobs to consider that have a low level of food involvement, such as being a retail worker, tour guide, camp counsellor, lifeguard or office intern.

Is the job interview too soon to disclose?
For most summer jobs, it’s not obligatory to disclose food allergies in an interview unless specifically asked. Though safety is always Number One, you may not want to unnecessarily shift the conversation from your actual work abilities. However, if there is an inherent level of risk for a reaction in the workplace, it’s a good idea to inquire whether accommodations are made for allergic employees.

Next: How to Tell Your Boss

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2014/06/10/on-the-job-with-food-allergies/feed/0‘Oh Waiter…’ An Allergic Child Learns to Dine Outhttp://allergicliving.com/2012/03/20/oh-waiter-an-allergic-child-dines-out/
http://allergicliving.com/2012/03/20/oh-waiter-an-allergic-child-dines-out/#commentsTue, 20 Mar 2012 14:26:45 +0000http://allergicliving.com/?p=12892There I was again, reeling off the list of foods which my son, Julian, had to avoid because of his allergies to peanuts, nuts, shellfish, chick peas, split peas and soy. He was 6 years old at the time and we were dining at a restaurant, one of many during a week-long vacation in Florida. As the waiter strode back and forth to the kitchen, double-checking ingredients, Julian’s disappointment rose as his menu choices were ruled out. Fed up with this scene, I struggled to maintain composure.

My “oh woe is me” voice kicked in: “What a pain this is to deal with. Why does he have so many food allergies? And, why am I always the one asking about his food?” It was the last question that really hit home. I realized that, similar to reading ingredient labels, Julian had to learn how to ask questions himself about restaurant meals.

Kids learn best when you involve them, so my husband and I encouraged Julian to ask basic questions – “Are there peanuts in this?” We graduated to the more complicated questions as he matured: “Do you use the same grill to cook shellfish and steak?” “Do you make the French fries in the same fryer used for foods such as deep-fried shrimp?”’

We found that by taking precautionary steps, we could go to restaurants together safely. Following are the main points we found helpful when dining out with a food-allergic child:

Plan ahead. When possible, call the restaurant at a time that is convenient to speak to the chef or manager. They can point you to the safe meals on the menu. (Stick with simple items with fewer ingredients and fewer coatings, sauces and dips.) Try to dine at off-peak hours as staff will have more time (and patience) to check on menu items. The highlight of the meal – the dessert tray – will be off-limits for most food-allergic children. So to avoid disappointment, let your child take a special dessert or treat to the restaurant so he feels included.

Teach your child what to watch for. Many large restaurants have websites that allow you to review the menu in advance with your child. Scan the menu looking for items that may have hidden ingredients or increase the risk for cross-contamination.

Rather than tell him, ask your child: “What would you ask the waiter?”

Mind your words. Parents, worried that food-service staff don’t understand the severity of their child’s food allergy, sometimes resort to scare tactics. “This could kill him” might get their attention, but is not a helpful message for your child and does not make staff feel empowered. Ask to speak with a manager or the chef if your waiter seems uneducated about food allergies. And, remember, while most restaurants will try their best to accommodate special meal requirements, they cannot provide a guarantee. So don’t ask for one.

Be prepared for an emergency. Make sure that your child has his epinephrine auto-injector (EpiPen or Twinject) with him when dining out. Accidents are never planned and you want to be prepared for an emergency. If you don’t have an auto-injector with you, don’t eat out.

Trust your instincts. There were times when we left a restaurant as we were not confident a safe meal could be provided. Julian learned that it was better to be safe than sorry and find another restaurant that could accommodate him.

Say thank you, tip well, and tell the boss. If you’re pleased with the service, have your child thank the staff personally. Julian’s standard “thanks for keeping me safe” when he was little always brought a smile to their faces. An unusually large tip for outstanding service didn’t hurt either. In several cases, we spoke with the restaurant manager to express appreciation for the efforts of the staff who took Julian’s allergies seriously.

Looking back now, I’m glad that we made Julian part of the process as he has eaten out often with other families and friends without us. I was surprised to learn that two years ago (when he was 14), he had gone to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet at the invitation of school friends. Julian reassured me that he just had a Coke, that he didn’t eat. While this would not have been my restaurant of choice, I was pleased that Julian felt confident about his ability to fend for himself and comfortable in an environment where allergens were around him.

But even more than that, I admired his attitude. Rather than focus on what he could not have this one time (the food), he chose to enjoy a special moment with friends.

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2012/03/20/oh-waiter-an-allergic-child-dines-out/feed/0What’s Fair to Expect of Othershttp://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-whats-fair-to-expect-of-others/
http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-whats-fair-to-expect-of-others/#commentsFri, 02 Jul 2010 22:52:39 +0000http://allergicliving.ds566.alentus.com/?p=805Food allergies are a growing public health concern, with approximately 1.2 million Canadians at risk. The surge in allergic disorders, and the risk of life-threatening anaphylactic reactions has elicited a flurry of media coverage. At the heart of many articles are lobbying efforts to restrict peanut and tree nuts in schools and public venues. Journalists often ask allergy experts: “Should peanuts and nuts be banned?” They expect a “yes” or “no” but, the truth is, there is no simple answer.

To provide perspective, five allergy associations collaborated on a position statement* regarding the management of anaphylaxis. It reflects the opinion of Canadian allergists and the executive directors of three lay organizations: Anaphylaxis Canada, the Allergy/Asthma Information Association and the Association québécoise des allergies alimentaires.

Collectively, the organization executive directors have four children between the ages of 12 and 25, with allergies to peanut, other legumes, tree nuts, egg and shellfish. We appreciate personally and professionally the concerns of parents who are faced with the grim reality of food allergies: only strict avoidance of an allergenic substance will prevent a reaction, and there is no cure on the horizon. We are aware that besides peanuts and nuts, other common foods – milk, egg, sesame, shellfish, fish, soy, and wheat – can trigger reactions and need to be included in anaphylaxis policies.

And we know that there is a conceptual problem with the idea of a “ban” in public places. It carries with it the notion that safety can be guaranteed if we eliminate obvious allergens from an environment. In the real world, there are no guarantees, which is why education and self-management will remain our priorities.

So what do we recommend to parents advocating for their children’s needs?

Seek “the middle ground”

To start with, don’t shoulder the burden alone. Anaphylaxis policies should be developed with input from allergy experts and take into consideration the factors that can have an impact on the community, businesses, and organizations. These include: who and how many people will be affected by food restrictions, how reasonable it is to expect that an environment can be controlled, and whether the attempt to control it will be permanent or temporary.

There are many situations in life where we make concessions to arrive at “the middle ground”. Strategies that safeguard allergic individuals without placing undue restrictions on the non-allergic community will be the most successful. Policies that seem too unrealistic to implement and monitor will lack credibility and may lead to “allergy fatigue” among the public, and we need the continuing support of the wider community.

A good example of a middle ground approach was an “AA” baseball league game that took place in July in Baltimore. The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network and the Bowie Baysox raised public awareness by designating a section of the stadium for food allergic fans and their families. Stadium employees wiped down seats and swept the ground of the section before the game (peanuts are a fan favourite), and emergency medical staff were on hand. But you’ll notice that this event took place on one day, in one controlled part of the stadium.

Teach children to self-protect

Children must learn to navigate safely in a world with allergens around them. If they do not learn to self-manage, they may be at greater risk. Parents will not always be there. My family has used the weekly grocery shopping trip to teach our 12-year-old, Julian, how to choose safe foods through vigilant label reading and to make him feel comfortable with allergens in his environment. Our grocery store spans 80,000 square feet and has thousands of products that may contain his allergens. It also gets 3,000 customers a day. Julian understands that he cannot control what others eat or touch in the store, but that regular hand-washing can reduce the risk of exposure with an allergen.

September represents a milestone as our son enters a Toronto high school (grades 7 to 12). While Julian will brown-bag it most days, he will occasionally buy a lunch of limited items that we have checked with cafeteria staff, and pick a safe packaged snack from the vending machine. While many parents may think my husband and I are crazy to allow Julian these liberties, we believe he is ready and we expect him to take on more responsibility as he gets older.

Does this mean we’re abdicating responsibility? On the contrary, we will continue to teach him how to manage his allergies and to advocate for his safety. His experience in high school will serve him well as he prepares for the next transition – university – where he will be an unknown in a crowd of thousands and thousands of students.

Like many other parents, I’d like to have a guarantee that Julian will always be safe, but this isn’t possible. I want instead the solace of knowing that he has all the tools possible to look after himself in a big, hard-to-control world. Despite best efforts, I know that he could have an allergic reaction. I’ll continue to worry. But that’s my job – I am his mother.

First published in Allergic Living magazine. Click here to subscribe or order an issue.

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-whats-fair-to-expect-of-others/feed/0Travel Abroad: Possible After Allhttp://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-travel-abroad-with-food-allergies/
http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-travel-abroad-with-food-allergies/#commentsFri, 02 Jul 2010 22:51:45 +0000http://allergicliving.ds566.alentus.com/?p=803They say that music is a universal language. In many ways, so is food. No matter where you travel, people show pride in their heritage and express their emotions through food.

As world travelers, my husband, Victor, and I want to expose our children to different cultures. Both of us have worked abroad – he in Brazil, I in Japan – and have visited many countries in Europe, Asia, South America and Africa. We would love to take our children to Japan and India, the birthplaces of our ancestors. But we’ve been reluctant to do so because of our son Julian’s food allergies. Given his sensitivity to several foods and the challenge of language barriers, it may be a while before we work up the courage to go to either country.

When we first embarked on this food allergy journey, the world felt like a dangerous place. Taking baby steps, we opted for North American destinations with a high level of food allergy awareness and quick access to medical care.

As Julian matures, we recognize that we need to do more to prepare him to travel without us. Now in Grade 7, it is only a matter of time before he goes to a foreign country with classmates and adults who may be less knowledgeable about his allergies. His ability to self-protect, in many ways, will be his greatest safeguard.

Julian feels that he can fend for himself and points out my tendency to “hover”; his way of saying that I can be over-protective. However, he agrees that to gain more independence, he must speak up more and ask questions about which foods are appropriate.

Recently, my family made its first international trip. We started slowly, visiting England and Ireland, where we could communicate in our mother tongue. The trip helped to build our confidence. International travel with food allergies does require a lot more planning – but it can be done. If you’re thinking of going overseas, here are some tips to consider:

Connect with international allergy associations

Visit www.foodallergyalliance.org, the website for the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Alliance, where you will find links to associations from North America, Europe and Asia. Though none will provide a list of safe foods, they can point you to resources about food labeling regulations and possibly food policies on local airlines. Some provide links to services that can translate allergy-related information, which may be especially useful for travelers who don’t speak the local language.

Take extra epinephrine auto-injectors

In case bags are lost, our habit is for Julian to carry two auto-injector devices (as usual) and Victor and I to each carry one backup. We also take a note from the allergist which supports Julian’s need to carry an auto-injector in case we are stopped by authorities. And don’t forget to wear MedicAlert identification, which is recognized internationally.

Be prepared for an emergency

Find out the emergency number in the country or area you will be visiting. (For example, it’s 911 in most Canadian and U.S. locations.) Learn how to operate the local payphones, which are often different outside of North America, and carry change. Remember that you may not have cell phone service abroad so look into renting a local cell phone. Be sure to always have an epinephrine auto-injector available and review how to use it. Some ambulances may not be equipped with epinephrine, and some paramedics may not be allowed to administer it. When selecting a hotel, ask how far it is to the nearest hospital.

Pack your own food for the flight

Only bring foods that have been consumed safely before, and pack extra safe snacks in case of delays. Don’t bring foods that require heating, as airlines do not have microwaves (they have equipment to keep airline meals warm). Although attendants may be willing to reheat food in oven-ready containers or foil after the meal service, you need to think about the possibility of cross-contamination.

Use dining out experiences to train your child

Encourage your child to think through the questions to ask food service staff ahead of time, then role play. When he’s ordering, don’t interrupt, but jump in if his questions are not thorough. Though Julian remembers to ask about the oil and ingredients in French fries, he often forgets to ask whether shellfish, to which he is allergic, is cooked in the same fryer as the fries.

The only negative experience on our trip happened after we landed in Toronto. Security staff scolded us for bringing in one green apple, which I had packed with Julian’s food, and we were held back for more than an hour. Lesson learned: Remember to find out about local restrictions on foods you can take into a country, even your own country. This being our only glitch, we’re now ready to venture onward. Next stop – visiting relatives in Spain!

First published in Allergic Living magazine, Summer 2007.
To order that issue or to subscribe, click here.

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-travel-abroad-with-food-allergies/feed/0The Holiday Snack Tray and Allergieshttp://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-the-holiday-snack-tray/
http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-the-holiday-snack-tray/#commentsFri, 02 Jul 2010 22:50:40 +0000http://allergicliving.ds566.alentus.com/?p=801A few years back, the news media reported the results of a study that found that many nut-allergic children were unable to recognize common nuts. The article prompted mixed reviews from parents of food allergic children. Some were offended by the suggestion that parents, in trying to shield their children from danger, had not taught them to recognize their allergens. Others, however, felt that the researchers’ comments had merit: children must be able to recognize allergenic foods in order to avoid them.

I was reminded of the time when my son Julian (then 6) unwittingly played with peanuts. We were at a cottage expo and had stopped by an exhibit with birdhouses and feeders. Waiting for me to pick a birdhouse, Julian amused himself by picking up handfuls of feed, letting it sift through his hands, like sand. He did this for a while before I noticed something light-colored among the seeds.

Grabbing his hand, I snapped, “Do you know what you’re touching?” As I whisked him off to wash his hands, explaining what I thought to be obvious – there were peanuts in the feed – he reminded me that he had never seen “peanuts like that” before.

Not having any small pets, we had never bought animal feed. The peanuts that he recognized were not in pieces, but whole, darker (roasted), in the shell or in peanut butter. I apologized for my outburst, explaining that I had reacted spontaneously, yelling, not out of anger, but out of fear for his safety.

This episode (and several others) taught me that while it is important to teach children how to avoid danger by recognizing their allergens, it is equally important to teach them how to respond calmly when allergens are present in their environment, and how to gently remind others of potential risks. Over the years, I’ve learned to contain my anxiety and bite my tongue when I’ve been tempted to say to my child and others, “But you don’t get it, this could cause an allergic reaction.”

The holiday season presents a challenge for those faced with food allergy. Danger seems to be ever present with an abundance of food: shrimp rings, trays of nuts, dairy-containing veggie dips and sauces, and baked goods and sweets full of many allergens.

While social outings can be anxiety-provoking, try to use food-related events to teach children to navigate safely, to be on guard for both obvious and not-so-obvious risks. Through our behavior and attitude, parents can show children how to inform others graciously about their food allergies. These lessons will carry them through life.

Holiday Checklist

• Teach young children to say “no thanks” to unapproved foods. ’Tis the season of sharing and well-meaning adults and children, who will offer food without consulting the parent. Through role play, teach your child to say “no thanks” politely to anything that you have not approved.

• Bring goodies so your child doesn’t feel left out. Involve him in selecting or making a really special (read “junky”) treat. A pack of raisins won’t measure up when all the other kids get super hero holiday cupcakes.

• Be a role model, children learn from our behavior. Though I’ve instinctively wanted to remove all shrimp rings and nut trays, I came to realize that Julian had to learn how to avoid food allergens as they will be around him in everyday life, not just during the holidays. We taught him to avoid buffets, scrutinize food labels, and wash his hands regularly.

By the time he was in the teen years, we expected him to make his own inquiries when dining out, asking waiters or friends about ingredients in a way that makes them feel empowered to be able to accommodate his needs.

Next page: Laurie’s Holiday Checklist continues

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-the-holiday-snack-tray/feed/0Tips For Talking to School Officialshttp://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-talking-to-school-officials/
http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-talking-to-school-officials/#commentsFri, 02 Jul 2010 22:49:51 +0000http://allergicliving.ds566.alentus.com/?p=799Food, the very sustenance of life, is present as we celebrate both life and death, mark rites of passage, and proudly offer others a glimpse into our unique cultures with special dishes. But our relationship with food – when, where, how, and even why we eat – has changed significantly over the years.

There is an expression that: “There are those who eat to live, and others who live to eat.” With the obesity rate soaring, clearly, North Americans fall into this latter group. We over-consume. Microwave technology and the accessibility of prepared foods have made it so easy to eat on the run, any time, anywhere.

Years ago, you did not see people wolfing down full meals in public transit; nor was there an excessive amount of food in schools. Treats, once an occasional indulgence, have become the norm with sweet drinks and snacks doled out after children’s sports activities (in my day, it was water and orange slices), and people noshing in their beds mindlessly while watching TV.

This trend to over-consuming has created challenges for families with food-allergic children, as well as for the school administrators responsible for reducing those kids’ risks of allergen exposure. Food has become central to school holiday celebrations, fundraisers and teacher rewards. Many people feel that things have gone too far, especially with the practice of parents sending in treats to celebrate their children’s birthdays in classrooms.

Pamela Lee, mother of a food-allergic son and a Vancouver educational assistant, points out on Allergicliving.com’s Forum that “schools should be a place of learning,” and that “birthday parties should be provided by parents, on the parents’ time, not the teachers’ time.”

While many schools are making greater efforts to encourage healthy eating, it will be a while before sweeping changes are made which result in less food in schools. In the meantime, parents should continue to advocate for safe environments, and do it in a positive way. Some advice from the trenches:

Ask for best efforts, not guarantees.
Perfection, such as asking for a guarantee, is not a goal anyone can achieve. Many parents demand that schools be “peanut-free” or “nut-free”. While a large number of elementary schools have restrictions on these foods, it’s not possible to “guarantee” that everything will be “free from” peanuts, nuts or other allergenic foods. The majority of other parents will make efforts to comply with food policies, especially if they are seen to be reasonable, but mistakes will happen from time to time.

Practice what you want to say.
Write down the three key points you want to discuss with the principal. This will keep you focused on what is most important. Role play with a friend who does not have a food-allergic child. Be sure this is someone who will give you an honest opinion and provide the perspective of those who do not live with food allergies. Your choice of words, tone and body language will all impact the way you come across to school officials.

Treat ignorance as an opportunity to educate.
Before a school meeting, offer to provide information about food allergies, such as DVDs or brief printed materials for review. When background is provided ahead of time about the potential severity of allergic reactions, this will allow more time for discussion. Remember that there will always be naysayers who make insensitive comments. You can’t change them, but you can change the way you react to them. Don’t let them get you down. As others come on board, the negative voices will be drowned out.

Create bridges, not walls.
When things are not going well, ask yourself: Could my own behaviour be part of the problem? A mother I knew had her husband speak with the principal, recognizing that her behaviour had created a barrier. He was able to break down the wall. Later, the mother was able to build a bridge through changing the way she interacted with the principal – who started consulting her on the school’s anaphylaxis policy.

Similarly, at parent meetings, some have found it helpful to have a friend, whose child doesn’t have food allergies, present other reasons for reducing the amount of classroom food, from the mess to other health concerns such as obesity or diabetes.

The long and short is that the parents who can be brutally honest with themselves are the most likely to succeed at gaining protection for allergic students. They’ll also help to raise awareness of just how food-centred our schools have become.

While we’re being frank – we have all tripped in our desire to protect our loved ones; our anxiety can sometimes make us act inappropriately. What we need to do is learn from our mistakes. We should also celebrate the small wins, and take every occasion to say “thanks” where appropriate.

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-talking-to-school-officials/feed/0Sharing the Allergy Loadhttp://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-sharing-the-allergy-load/
http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-sharing-the-allergy-load/#commentsFri, 02 Jul 2010 22:48:51 +0000http://allergicliving.ds566.alentus.com/?p=796When my son, Julian, was diagnosed with peanut allergy years ago, I faced the news alone. My husband Victor could not come to the allergist’s appointment as he had a business commitment. Overwhelmed by the thought of possibly losing our child, I had a meltdown when I called Victor later. Sobbing, I explained: “He could die from this allergy if we’re not careful.” To my surprise, Victor calmly responded, “No, he won’t. It’s not a big deal. He just won’t eat peanuts.” While his intentions were to reassure me, I felt my concerns had been dismissed; not the response I was looking for from my partner. “He doesn’t get it,” I thought.

After I got over the initial shock, sadness and anger with this card we’d been dealt, I began to accept the fact that I could not change Julian’s situation, but I could do a lot to reduce the potential for risk. As a take-charge mother, I spent hours calling food manufacturers to learn about their products, meeting the school principal to develop a management plan, and educating others how to read a food label and to use an auto-injector. When we ate out – whether at a restaurant or someone’s home – it was typically me who asked questions about the food, often calling ahead to make inquiries. Before I went on a business trip, I stocked the house with groceries and prepared meals. In the early days, this was a lot of work which added to my already busy schedule and increased my level of stress. I became resentful that I was doing it all.

It was during a TV interview about allergies that Victor and I took part in, that I had my “Aha” moment. On camera, he admitted that while he took precautions to keep Julian safe, he had ridden on my coattails with respect to our management strategies. This was his way of saying: “Laurie does most of the work.” The comment made me realize that I was just as guilty for this imbalance; I’d enabled Victor to be more laissez-faire – by simply taking over. My behaviour must have sent a message to Julian, too, that “Mom would do it all.”

That evening, we had a family discussion. I expressed my hopes that both Victor and Julian, then 7 years old, would do more. What if something happened to me or our family situation changed? (Not a pleasant thought, but almost 40 per cent of marriages do end in divorce.) We agreed that if Julian wanted a new food product, he would have to read the label to determine whether we should buy it. If Victor purchased the product, he would call the manufacturer if it was a company we did not know.

When we went to restaurants, Julian was encouraged to ask about menu items. My husband and son learned how time-consuming it could be double-checking food items, and hopefully they appreciated the past efforts of “mom, the martyr”.

But they also built their own confidence in reading food labels and advocating for Julian’s safety. I learned to keep quiet, and let them figure things out for themselves (and that’s no small task when you think you know better). It turned out to be a huge relief not having to do everything.

Looking back at those early years, my husband and I should have done things differently. To parents starting out on their food allergy journey, I offer these lessons from the marital trenches:

You and your partner both brought your child into the world. Learn as much as you can and develop management strategies together.

Have one set of rules which your food-allergic child and others can follow. This is especially important where there are two households, due to divorce. If you don’t get along with your ex, remember to stay focused on the child’s safety and put personal differences aside. Food allergy rules should not dissolve into a case of “who’s the better parent”.

Go to key appointments together – medical, school, other – so that you hear the same information. This lessens the chance that one parent is expected to be the keeper of information.

As we learned to be better teammates on food allergy management, I came to appreciate that my husband’s calmer approach was complementary to my more uptight style. It was not always bad to be laissez-faire as long as we stuck to key rules. In fact, Victor has helped me to learn to let go. While I wanted to say “no way” to a boys-only camping trip in the interior of Ontario’s Algonquin Park when Julian was 10, Victor proved that with careful planning, Julian could spend five days in the wilderness eating safely – no cell phones, no hospital in sight, and no hovering mother around.

From the Winter 2010 issue of Allergic Living magazine.
To order that issue, or to subsribe, click here.

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-sharing-the-allergy-load/feed/0If Your Child is Bulliedhttp://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-if-your-child-is-bullied/
http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-if-your-child-is-bullied/#commentsFri, 02 Jul 2010 22:46:24 +0000http://allergicliving.ds566.alentus.com/?p=790Are school playgrounds getting meaner? It certainly seems so when you hear media reports about children being singled out for being different, whatever “different” may mean.

A while back, I was surprised to receive a call from a friend whose child had been involved in a bullying encounter. She was embarrassed to admit that her son had been part of a group who thought it would be funny to put a small bag of seeds on the desk of a child with a severe seed allergy. Fortunately, the plan was aborted and the teacher was alerted to the situation. The school acted promptly, suspending the perpetrators for a day.

While my friend fully supported the school’s decision, she felt that a one-day suspension was not enough. Without follow-up, “it was a day off school,” in her view. With the support of the school and family of the child who had been targeted, she arranged for her son to lead a class discussion on food allergies. He showed the “Friends Helping Friends” video, which features teens talking about the challenges of having a food allergy and what friends can do to support them. He taught his classmates how to give a dose of life-saving medication, using an EpiPen trainer. He told them that food allergies were no laughing matter. He had learned from his mistake.

From time to time, Anaphylaxis Canada receives reports from parents whose children have been have singled out because of their food allergies. Typically, this involves name calling (“peanut boy”), taunting (drawing humiliating pictures of a child with food allergies) or excluding kids from activities. Food has at times been used as a weapon: waving a peanut butter sandwich in a child’s face or smearing a bit of peanut butter on the arm of a peanut allergic child “to see what would happen.”

Some of the threats have been extremely nasty: “I’ll shove a peanut butter sandwich down your throat.” Whether verbal or physical, these negative behaviours have the potential to be emotionally and physically damaging. They cannot be tolerated.

Many school initiatives – such as anti-bullying programs and awareness sessions about anaphylaxis – teach children to be respectful of others and not to stand by and watch when bullying incidents occur. We believe that education programs are making a difference. However, parents should know what to do if they think their child is being bullied.

Next: Tools to Stop the Bullying

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-if-your-child-is-bullied/feed/0I Don’t Define My Son by His Allergieshttp://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-i-dont-define-my-son-by-his-allergies/
http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-i-dont-define-my-son-by-his-allergies/#commentsFri, 02 Jul 2010 22:45:28 +0000http://allergicliving.ds566.alentus.com/?p=788When my son, Julian, was first diagnosed with an allergy to peanut the summer before starting kindergarten, I was devastated. I felt overwhelmed by the prospect of losing him to a lowly peanut. For months, I walked around looking like a deer in the headlights, my face fixed with that ‘ohmygawd’ expression. Danger seemed to lurk around every corner as I shopped for food (like a walk in a minefield), as I sized up the mother who asked Julian over for a play date with her youngster (Can I trust you?), and as I released him into the care of his wonderful teacher every day (Will you do the right thing?).

When the phone rang during school hours, my heart would skip a beat as I wondered if it was the school office, if Julian had had a reaction. Like a low hanging cloud, the worst case scenario permeated my thoughts: anaphylaxis can cause death.

Strangely enough, my perspective on life-threatening allergies began to change for the better after I read a landmark study, published in the New England Journal of Medicine, about 13 children who had died or nearly died from food-induced anaphylaxis. Not light bedtime reading, but the article drove home why food-induced deaths occur: typically, victims had unknowingly eaten something to which they were allergic, did not have an EpiPen readily available, and most were asthmatic. These findings made me realize that I had missed the operative word in the definition of anaphylaxis – it has the “potential” to cause death – but fatalities are rare when measures to reduce the risk are carefully followed.

My husband and I conditioned Julian to carry his EpiPen, to not eat without it, and to only eat foods we had approved. We learned to be label savvy and to call food manufacturers when we were unsure of ingredients. I took on the role of educating others about anaphylaxis and what to do in an emergency. But in the early years of Julian’s diagnosis, I also learned the hard way that people sometimes did not “get” his allergies because of my anxiety-ridden behaviour. One time the mother of a classmate cancelled a play date with Julian after I abruptly corrected her technique when she demonstrated how to use the EpiPen with the EpiPen Trainer. My tone said: “This is simple to use and if you don’t know how to use it properly, he could die.”

After closing that door to my son, I became aware that my perspective of anaphylaxis, the way I’d labelled it in my head, was having a negative impact on my attitude and behaviour and, in turn, on Julian’s. I made a conscious effort to view others more positively; to understand that when you’re respectful, patient and realistic, people have a much easier time learning how to protect your allergic child.

Julian now knows how to live with his allergy. Even though many people call his school ‘nut-free’, he understands there is no such thing, that there are no guarantees. Despite increased awareness, products with peanut and nuts do slip into the school. Julian knows that he’s not in danger unless he eats something he’s allergic to and does not have his EpiPen. He knows that the smell of an allergy-causing food such as peanut butter will not cause him to have a reaction.

Now 11, my son has developed more allergies since his peanut allergy was diagnosed. People are often shocked to hear that, in addition to peanut, Julian’s list includes tree nuts, shellfish, chick peas, split peas and, most recently, soy. This makes them label my son. Poor kid, they say. What does he eat? I tell them, please don’t pity Julian. He’s a healthy kid with a healthy appetite. He just has to be careful about what he eats.

Food allergies take the spontaneity out of life, but they do not define my son. Julian has a joie de vivre, a real zest for life. He is an aspiring hockey player, an avid outdoorsman, a pianist (under duress) and a friendly boy (except to his kid sister). He knows that anaphylaxis can cause death, but also that it can be managed. He sees himself as a child, like any other, who just happens to have food allergies. Now that’s a label we both can live with.

]]>http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-i-dont-define-my-son-by-his-allergies/feed/0Food Allergy Backlashhttp://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-food-allergy-backlash/
http://allergicliving.com/2010/07/02/hot-topics-food-allergy-backlash/#commentsFri, 02 Jul 2010 22:44:34 +0000http://allergicliving.ds566.alentus.com/?p=786Ten years ago my foray into the world of food allergies began when my first born, Julian, was diagnosed with peanut allergy just months before starting junior kindergarten. Looking back, I’m amazed to see how far we’ve come as a society to address an issue affecting a growing number of children.

In January 2006, Sabrina’s Law was passed, requiring that all publicly funded school boards in Ontario have measures in place to protect children at risk of anaphylaxis. The concept of Sabrina’s Law has since spread: Ontario has passed legislation to safeguard children in child-care centres; in British Columbia, a ministerial order to protect students with severe allergies was signed last fall; and similar school measures have been adopted in several U.S. states.

We’ve made great strides on awareness and support. Yet as heartening as that is, I find myself increasingly concerned about an undercurrent of negative commentary. There have long been grumblers, but the chorus seems to be getting louder: from ignorant bloggers ridiculing food allergic people to radio talk show hosts ranting about the demands of “over-protective” parents.

Most alarming is an article that appeared in the January issue of Harper’s magazine called “Everyone’s Gone Nuts: the Exaggerated Threat of Food Allergies,” by a writer named Meredith Broussard. With sneering tone, Broussard, who has no medical background, ignored key findings to suggest that the “rash of fatal food allergies is mostly myth” fueled by anxious parents, questionable prevalence data, and sensationalist news coverage.
Harper’s offered Broussard a credible venue in which to be contrarian, and she came out swinging. She used statistics from the Centers for Disease Control to underscore her claim that “a cultural hysteria” prevails around food allergy. After all, she noted, not that many people die of reactions. Her comments fueled public debate, sparking commentary from allergy experts and enraging parents of food allergic children. But on her side were strident bloggers, who heartily supported her views.

What disbelievers like Broussard fail to appreciate is the uncertainty that a diagnosis of food allergy brings for families. What we know for certain is that a very small amount of an allergenic food when eaten can cause a severe allergic reaction and that people have died from food-induced anaphylaxis. While certain factors increase or decrease the likelihood, nobody can tell us for certain who is at risk of a fatal reaction. Many parents have wound up in an emergency department, panic-stricken, with their children in the throes of an allergic reaction, wondering whether they would survive.

Around the same time that the Harper’s article appeared, I was asked by a journalist whether I thought there was “food allergy fatigue” with the cancellation of some food-centred school activities such as birthday treats and bake sales. Her question started me wondering: Could we, as parents of food-allergic children, be inadvertently contributing to this growing backlash or allergy fatigue with our own behaviour?

It can be difficult to get people to take food allergy seriously when our kids don’t look sick (unless they’re having a reaction), and the fatality rate is not that high compared to other conditions. Many parents resort to scare tactics to get the point across, such as the oft-used comment – “a peanut butter sandwich is like a loaded gun to my child.” This approach lessens the credibility of the parent, who seems driven more by emotion than by fact. It can also isolate food-allergic children, who get left out of social events as other parents feel they cannot adequately care for them.

At times our expectations can be unrealistic. Like many parents, I have asked others to guarantee my son’s safety at school, camp, or when dining out. I did this out of a fierce love for my child. What I learned through my own mistakes, however, is that even I could not guarantee Julian would never have a reaction, even in our own home. On two occasions I had to administer his auto-injector after he ate foods containing allergens which I had missed on ingredient labels.

While I certainly don’t have all of the answers, I believe that as a society, allergic and non-allergic people must try to understand each other’s perspectives and work together. We have a growing public health issue with food allergy on the rise. As anaphylaxis policies continue to take shape in our schools, workplaces, and other sectors, inevitably we will all be affected in some way. We need to collaborate on strategies that protect individuals at risk, but at the same time are reasonable for the wider, non-allergic community. As parents of food-allergic children, we need to watch that our expectations are fair, and that our behaviour empowers our children.

While I realize there will always be diehard skeptics who play down the risk of food allergy, I take heart in the thought that fatalities from reactions may be low because food-allergic individuals are taking responsibility to protect themselves – and because the majority of people are doing their part to safeguard them.

First published in Allergic Living magazine, Spring 2008.Copyright Allergic Living magazine. To subscribe or renew click here.