Oh, and only two of the three bedrooms in my free apartment have satellite service? How am I supposed to lay in bed and watch my stories at 1PM today? Also, my free blackberry is 3G...why can't I get 4G for free?

Those rich people (chumps) who work for a living have the 4g and satellite in all their bedrooms. They need to be taxed more so I can have those things.