Ask Charlotte - The Secrets of Slim People

Charlotte is an eating consultant and life coach. She is a certified group leader and trainer by Seven Secrets of Slim People and facilitates workshops, gives presentations and has a practice of one-on-one coaching. She also teaches classes and lectures on the 7 Secrets of Slim People at organizations nationwide. Charlotte Smith specializes in assisting people who are serious about solving their weight issues permanently and offers advice and support here through this blog to any who seek it.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I am the mother of three and I have always had weight problems. My eldest daughter is a sophomore in college now and I can see that she is gaining weight. I try not to nag, or comment, but I just don’t want her to go through the same struggle that I have had my whole life.

Do you have any advice on how I can help my 19-year old stay slim?

Connie K.Charlotte, NC

Dear Connie,

My advice to you is to focus on your own eating issues. So many daughters (and sons) develop unhealthy relationships with food because of unwitting and well-meaning parents. And just like all parenting, a child will model the behavior of the people they look up to… you!

Your daughter is a sophomore in college—19. She is probably under a lot of stress; she is undoubtedly eating poorly and probably not getting good regular exercise. But she is on the doorstep of adulthood, and she is in college to learn the life skills she will need to be a successful productive member of society. This is the opportunity for her to learn about taking care of herself.

Moreover, nagging, even talking casually about a teen’s eating habits and weight by a parent will almost certainly cause friction between the two of you, and perhaps cause a bit of rebellion and the opposite of what you want.

So, work on your own food issues, your emotional eating, and your general health. Be a good example to your daughter, and let her deal with her weight and eating habits on her own. When and if she wants to come to you to discuss this will you, be supportive, open, and non-judgmental.

…and when you send her a care package, include some healthier snacks like pretzels and dried fruits, granola bars and nuts! If she is like most college students, they will eat whatever is available, so make it healthy!

Give me a call at 800.496.7710 and we can start to work through the reasons you have always struggled with your own weight. I suspect that if we are able to address this, you will be better prepared to help your daughter when and if she asks, and at the very least you will be able to lead by example, and begin to lead a healthier life yourself.

All my best to you and your family. I look forward to speaking with you.

Become The Real You will instruct you on how to listen to your own body. How to eat whatever you want to achieve and maintain your perfect body weight! No more diets, no drugs, no counting calories. It’s simple...and it works!

Become The Real You is a process is for anyone who:--Is tired of yo-yo dieting--Wants to return to their natural shape--Wants to come to peace with food and their body--Wants to lose weight permanently--Wants freedom from food obsession

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I have a new boyfriend and he is great. However, he has some really bad eating habits that I have started to pick up too. We love to eat together, go out, snack late, grab late night ice cream, or coffee drinks. I have realized that we go from one meal to the next, with snacks in between—and a lot of the time it isn’t really healthy food either!

It has been such a fun and happy time and I don’t want it to stop. However, I have gained 15 lbs and stopped walking and biking on the weekends… instead we wake up and pick the restaurant we are going to that evening over a big greasy breakfast, and then settle down in front of the TV with snacks all day.

We laugh and eat… but is my relationship doomed if I stop eating with him day and night? Or is my waistline doomed if I choose to see where this relationship will go?

Stuffed Stephanie, NYC

Dear Stephanie –Oh… the joys of a new relationship! Going out and having fun, laughing and enjoying time together is part of the joys of getting to know a new prospective partner.

My advice to you would be to start to look for ways to bring other activities into your time together. Enjoy eating… and don’t feel guilty for enjoying it. But, spend more time working in a trip to the park, or a visit to the bookstore. What other things do you like doing? Do you like to travel or go to art galleries? Do you enjoy hiking or exploring the city? Find some other things that allow you to spend time getting to know each other and having fun—besides eating.

Eating is a part of our day. It can be an activity along the way, and an occasional destination, but it can’t be the only thing you get done each day. As you have already figured out… that isn’t healthy.

Enjoy being in a new relationship—it is fun and exciting. Slowly bring in other things the two of you might like to do together, have in common or take time by yourselves to do the things that also make you happy. Your relationship will blossom or bust, but don’t let food be the reason for either.

It sounds like you have a great start of a relationship. Good luck taking it to the next level… a place with more to do and less to eat!

Charlotte SmithEating Consultant and Life Coach

Become The Real You will instruct you on how to listen to your own body. How to eat whatever you want to achieve and maintain your perfect body weight! No more diets, no drugs, no counting calories. It’s simple...and it works!

Become The Real You is a process is for anyone who:

--Is tired of yo-yo dieting--Wants to return to their natural shape--Wants to come to peace with food and their body--Wants to lose weight permanently--Wants freedom from food obsessionContact Charlotte today to learn more at 800.496.7710

Friday, January 23, 2009

I have been reading your blog and I know that I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am sad…or depressed, or bored. Recently I went through a divorce and if my waistline is any indication, it seems to be getting worse.

How can I take control of my eating habits and maybe lose a few pounds?

Thomas J. FL

Dear Thomas,

Emotional eating is characterized as eating to console or sooth, as a way to deal with stress, anxiety, or depression--and going through a divorce is certainly a cause of all these things! Emotional eaters often turn to junk food and high calorie, or sugary snacks. Even though your emotions can be a trigger for eating, you can take certain steps to control these cravings.

Here are some ways to gain power over emotional eating:

1) Recognize your true hunger: Is your hunger physical or emotional? If you ate just a few hours ago and still have a full stomach, you're probably not really hungry. Are you really just bored or sad?

2) Recognize your triggers: Keep a food diary for a week and write down what you eat, when you eat, and how you're feeling before and after you eat. Do you only eat when hungry? Or do you find that you are snacking when you are stressed. Are there patterns in the time that you eat between meals or in why you are eating? Change the pattern and you are less likely to eat when you don’t need to.

3) Take a break: If you find yourself reaching for food in a stressful or frustrating moment, get up and go for a walk. Take a break from your work, or from sitting in front of the TV or computer—just get up and go do something different, fun, or relaxing.

4) Clean the cupboards: One of the secrets of slim people is that they do not keep a lot of junk food in the house. Don’t buy the bag of chips or keep high calorie snack foods in the cupboard. If you are feeling hungry between meals, you will be more likely to grab an apple or carrot sticks if this is what is available to you.

5) Don’t skip meals: You should eat when you are physically hungry. For you this might mean 5 smaller healthy meals throughout the day, or less, but wait until you are hungry. But if it is a meal-time and you are hungry, sit down and have a good meal. If you are full you will be less likely to grab the "bad-for-you" foods later if you are feeling down.

6) Take care of yourself: Get regular exercise and a good night’s sleep. You will be better able to deal with the stress in your life when you are healthy and well-rested.

If you do give in to emotional eating, do not dwell on it. Understand why, (a trigger or a skipped breakfast) and move on and face the next day. Celebrate the positive, healthy habits you are developing and the way the world opens up when you aren’t held back by emotional eating.

Become The Real You will instruct you on how to listen to your own body. How to eat whatever you want to achieve and maintain your perfect body weight! No more diets, no drugs, no counting calories. It’s simple...and it works!

Become The Real You is a process is for anyone who:--Is tired of yo-yo dieting--Wants to return to their natural shape--Wants to come to peace with food and their body--Wants to lose weight permanently--Wants freedom from food obsession

Monday, January 19, 2009

I have been dealing with a lot of stress at work, including long hours. I used to take walks on my lunch hour and eat healthfully, and now I just snack at my desk. During the last year I have gained a lot of weight, and I don’t feel as good about myself. When I get home I am so frustrated I just eat until I go to bed.

What should I do?

Michelle J.New York

Dear Michelle,

For many people, food is a comfort when times are tough. It keeps us occupied, distracts us from facing difficult issues and consoles and sooths us when we are down.

But emotional eating, (eating as a way to suppress negative emotions, such as stress, anger, anxiety, boredom, sadness and loneliness) can lead to weight gain. And emotional eating often leads to eating too much, especially the higher calorie, sugary or salty foods that aren’t good for us.

The good news is that you have taken the first step to ending this cycle of emotional eating and taking control of your weight. You may not be able to change your stressful work environment, but you can change how you deal with it.

Your afternoon walks are a great place to start. The added exercise will help you clear your head and be able to deal with the afternoon better. You will be more productive, less stressed and the added benefit of being a great healthy habit that may help you lose a few of those unwanted pounds.

I would like to work with you more to help work through your emotional eating habits. If this is something you would be interested in, please give me a call at 800.496.7710.

Become The Real You will instruct you on how to listen to your own body. How to eat whatever you want to achieve and maintain your perfect body weight! No more diets, no drugs, no counting calories. It’s simple...and it works!

Become The Real You is a process is for anyone who:--Is tired of yo-yo dieting--Wants to return to their natural shape--Wants to come to peace with food and their body--Wants to lose weight permanently--Wants freedom from food obsessionContact Charlotte today to learn more at 800.496.7710

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I need your advice and help... I have always used food as a way to numb myself from the pain of a bad childhood and abusive relationships. I eat when I am sad or out of control. Sometimes food is my only friend.

I recently found out that I am pregnant (6 weeks), and my boyfriend and I are excited. It was unplanned, but I think I am ready to be a mom, (I am 29). I do worry a lot about food. I know I am overweight already, and that I have bad eating habits, and now I am eating for two, and I want to give my baby the best I can.

I am ready to make a change, but I need help. Where do I start?

Carol M. Indiana

Dear Carol,

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and best of luck with the baby. It sounds like you have a lot of things going on in your life, and it is important to take good care of yourself—especially since you are going to be a mom.

Bringing a new life into the world is a big responsibility. You have already shown that you are aware of how what you eat will affect the health of the baby, and this is a wonderful first step. I would like to work with you as your life coach, (we can do this over the phone) over the next several months so that when the baby arrives, you will have dealt with your food issues, (which clearly go deep and should be addressed) and you will be able to continue your new good habits and be a great example to your new son or daughter.

I applaud you for taking control, and I look forward to working with you during your pregnancy.

Charlotte SmithEating Consultant and Life Coach

Become The Real You will instruct you on how to listen to your own body. How to eat whatever you want to achieve and maintain your perfect body weight! No more diets, no drugs, no counting calories. It’s simple...and it works!

Become The Real You is a process is for anyone who:--Is tired of yo-yo dieting--Wants to return to their natural shape--Wants to come to peace with food and their body--Wants to lose weight permanently--Wants freedom from food obsession

Saturday, January 10, 2009

For the New Year, I have decided to go through my old clothes and donate or throw away the ones that don’t fit, or are worn out--and this is quite an undertaking!

I am one of those people that saves things forever, and I have a lot of clothes in my closet I have had for 20 years. I have noticed that there are a lot of clothes that don’t fit—are even several sizes too small and some that I only wore a couple times. I haven’t been worried about my size, although I know I have gained weight over the years, but looking at the pile of “too-small” clothes was a little depressing. Do I have to worry?

Franny H. Minneapolis

Dear Franny,

Congratulations to you for taking the initiative to clear out the clutter from your closets. It is healthy to go through your old stuff and get rid of things that don’t fit and you will never wear again—and it is healthy to not be concerned about your “weight” as long as you are contented about the way you eat and how food makes you feel.

Over 20 years a lot happens…styles change, and so do our bodies. Do not be depressed that these old clothes don’t fit anymore…you probably wouldn’t want to wear them even if they did! What is important is how you feel about your body and how you look in your clothes. Weight is a number, and it will go up and down. I do not like to focus on that, but rather the other things in life that are important: family, friends, health, happiness, and fulfillment. If you are content in these things, then be excited that you are gaining some more closet space and that you are de-cluttering your life.

Become The Real You will instruct you on how to listen to your own body. How to eat whatever you want to achieve and maintain your perfect body weight! No more diets, no drugs, no counting calories. It’s simple...and it works!

Become The Real You is a process is for anyone who:

--Is tired of yo-yo dieting--Wants to return to their natural shape--Wants to come to peace with food and their body--Wants to lose weight permanently--Wants freedom from food obsession

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

An article in today's Charlotte Observer cites a recent study conducted in Japan that showed that people who ate quickly were twice as likely to be overweight.

In the study 3,300 adults were observed and researches found that the fast-eaters were twice as likely to be overweight compared with those who savored their food and ate slowly.

Europeans are noticing the same result, and have started a new craze: eating blindfolded!

So what does this all mean?

The 2nd Secret of Slim People, something we discuss in my seminars and coaching sessions says to eat with awareness, eat with pleasure and without judgment and eat slowly.

People who are naturally slim do this without thinking. They savor their food, they don't eat on the run, and they are aware of the food they are eating. And they stop eating before they are "stuffed."

Eating blindfolded is a great way to come back to this natural way of eating. Think about it: if you are blindfolded, you will eat more slowly and deliberately (it is hard to stuff food in your face when you can't see it!). Also, By blocking out your sense of sight, you have to rely on your stomach to tell you when you are approaching full--regardless of how much food is left on the plate. And you can focus on the delicious taste and the inviting smells. You can enjoy eating, and the process of eating.

So what if eating blindfolded is impractical for you? You can apply the same principles:

1) Sit down at a table while eating your meals.2) Turn off the TV and other distractions.3) Eat slowly and deliberately.4) "Taste" each bite, chewing thoroughly.5) Be aware of your stomach. When it is full, stop, and never "over-stuff."

So many of us go through our lives, and our meals without awareness. So whether you choose to eat blindfolded or just more slowly, eat with awareness. Enjoy your food and live a healthier life.

For more information on the Secrets of Slim People, please contact me at 704.340.7700. I always offer a free phone consultation!

Become The Real You will instruct you on how to listen to your own body. How to eat whatever you want to achieve and maintain your perfect body weight! No more diets, no drugs, no counting calories. It’s simple...and it works!

Become The Real You is a process is for anyone who:--Is tired of yo-yo dieting--Wants to return to their natural shape--Wants to come to peace with food and their body--Wants to lose weight permanently--Wants freedom from food obsessionContact Charlotte today to learn more at 800.496.7710.