Is There Any Evidence That Porn Is Harmful to Relationships?

In my last post, I noted briefly how technology has made it easier than ever to access a variety of pornographic images, whether produced personally or professionally. Much like concerns about how violent video games might make people who play them more violent, there have also been concerns raised about how pornography becoming more prevalent might also lead to certain, undesirable outcomes, such as rape or weakened relationships. As for the video game concern, there is some evidence that the aggression (or rather anger) caused by video games might have a lot less to do with violent content per se than it has to do with losing (full disclosure: I have been unable to locate the paper, so I can’t assess the claims made in it personally, but this explanation should be easily and intuitively understandable to anyone who has seriously engaged in competitive play. Gamers don’t rage quit over violent content; they rage quit because they lost). Similarly, there have been many concerns raised about pornography over the years, many of which hinge on the idea that pornography might lead to people (specifically men) to develop negative attitudes towards women and, accordingly, be more likely to rape them or to accept rape more generally.

As pornography has become more widely available – thanks in no small part to the internet – rates of rape appear to have been declining rather markedly over the same time period; in much the same way, violence has been declining despite violent video games being more common and accessible than ever. The world is a complex place and there are plenty of variables at play, so those correlations are just that. Nevertheless, the evidence that pornography causes any kind of sexual offending is “inconsistent at best” (Ferguson & Hartley, 2009) and, given the nature of the topic, one might reasonably suspect that at least some of that inconsistency has to do with researchers setting out to find certain conclusions. To be blunt about it, some researchers probably “have their answer”, so to speak, before they even begin the research, and might either game their projects to find that result, or interpret otherwise ambiguous results in a manner consistent with their favored hypothesis.

On that note, there was a recent post by Peg Streep concerning the negative effects that pornography might have on intimate relationships. In no uncertain terms, Peg suggests that (1) relationships with porn are less stable, (2) watching porn makes people less committed to their relationships, and (3) that it leads to people cheating on their partners. I decided to track down the research she presented for myself and see if there was any good evidence that pornography use has a negative and causal relationship with commitment and intimate relationships.

The first study comes from Maddox et al (2011). This paper surveyed the pornography viewing habits of around 1,300 individuals (whether alone, with a partner, or not at all) and examined whether there was any relationship between viewing pornography and various relationship measures. Those who reported not viewing pornography tended to be more religious, tended to escalate fights less (d = 0.26), thought their relationship was going better (d = 0.22), and were more dedicated to their relationships (d = 0.25, approximately). Further, those who watched porn were less likely to report being satisfied sexually in their relationship (d = 0.21) and also appeared to be two- to three-times as likely to report infidelity. However, the authors explicitly acknowledge on more than one occasion that their data is correlational in nature and provided no evidence of causality. Such research might simply suggest those who like pornography are different than those who do not like it, or that “…individuals who are unhappy with their relationships seek out [pornography] on their own as an outlet for sexual energy”. The pornography itself might have very little to do with relationship strength.

The second paper Peg mentions at least contains an experiment, which should, in principle, be better for determining if there is any causal relationship here. Unfortunately, there exists a gap between principle and practice here. The paper, by Lambert et al (2012) is rather long, so I’m only going to focus on the actual experiment within it and ignore the other correlational work (as those issues would be largely a retread of the last paper). The experiment involved having current porn users to either (a) refrain from using porn or (b) refrain from eating their favorite food for three weeks. The participants (N = 20) also maintained a daily diary of their porn use. Initially, the two groups reported similar porn usage (M = 3.73 and 4.07 viewings per month – I think – respectively) and relationship commitment (estimated 72 percent and 62 percent chance of being with their partner in the future, respectively). After the three week period, those who attempted to abstain from porn reported less viewing (M = 1.42) than those in the food-abstaining group (M = 3.88); the former group also reported greater relationship commitment (63 percent chance of staying together over time) relative to the food-abstainers (30 percent chance) at the end of the three weeks.

So was porn the culprit here? Well, I think it’s very doubtful. First of all, the sample size of 10 per group is pitifully small and I would not want to draw any major conclusions from that. Second, both groups were initially high on their relationship commitment despite both groups also watching porn. Third, and perhaps most importantly, what this study found was not an increase in commitment when people watched less porn, directly contradicting what Peg says about the results (that group saw a decrease as well, albeit only a 10 percent drop); it just found a large decrease in the group that continued to do what it had been doing this whole time. In other words, the authors are positing that a constant (porn usage) was responsible for a dramatic and sudden decline, whereas their manipulation (less porn usage) was responsible for things staying (sort of) constant. I find that very unlikely; more likely, I would say, is that one or two couples within the food-abstaining group happened to have hit a rough patch unrelated to the porn issue and, because the sample size was so small, that’s all it took to find the result.

The final paper Peg mentions comes from Gwinn et al (2013), and examined the relationship between porn and cheating. The authors report two studies: in the first, 74 students either wrote about a sexually explicit scene or an action scene from a movie or show they had seen in the last month; they were then asked to think about what options they had for alternative sexual partners. Those who wrote about the sexual scene rated their options as an average 3.3 out of 7, compared with the 2.6 for the action group (Of note: only half the subjects in the sex group wrote about porn; the other half wrote about non-porn sex scenes). Further, those in the sexual group did not report any difference in their current relationship satisfaction than those in the action group. In the second study, 291 students had their porn habits measured at time one and their cheating behavior (though this was not exclusively sexual behavior) measured at time two. They found a rather weak but positive correlation between the two: pornography use at time one could uniquely account for approximately 1 percent of the variance in cheating 12 weeks later. So, much like the first study, this one tells us nothing about causation and, even if it did, the effect was small enough to be almost zero.

So, to summarize: the first study suggests that people who like porn might be different than those who do not, the second study found that watching less porn did not increase commitment (in direct contradiction to what Peg said about it), and the final study found that porn usage explains almost no unique variance in infidelity on its own, nor does it effect relationship satisfaction. So, when Peg suggests that “The following three studies reveal that it has a greater effect on relationships than those we usually discuss,” and ”Pornography is not as benign as you think, especially when it comes to romantic relationships," and “The fantasy alternative leads to real world cheating,“ she doesn’t seem to have an empirical leg to stand on. I’m not saying there are absolutely no effects to porn, but the research she presents does not make a good case for any of them.

I wonder if you have any input on pornography and feminism?
"Porn" is harmful to a relationship if one partner finds it offensive. I remember Andrea Dworkin's perspective on porn and wonder if your own affinity for it has lead you to find others who will support your personal preference.

Sure; porn can be harmful to a relationship if one partner disapproves and the other enjoys the activity. I don't know how many other activities (drinking, favorite foods, preferences in movies, TV shows, exercise, and so on) that this could be said not to apply to, though...

I should also add that, in that case, porn per se is not necessarily what is harmful. It seems one could just as easily say that the attitude that one partner has about porn is the harmful thing there

That is utterly ridiculous to suggest that the attitude that one partner has about the porn be the problem. Blame the victim much?

Just in case you have some issue with taking things way too literally, no, I'm not suggesting that an individual who "disapproves" of porn and is with someone who uses it regularly is a victim. That's not what I'm saying.

However, a relationship is compromise. When one person has expressed discomfort or upset over an activity their partner is engaging in and the partner continues to engage in it anyway, even knowing how upset it makes their partner, THAT is the problem - the problem is not the attitude about the porn, but rather the disregard for the other person's feelings. Yes, the person expressing the upset needs to own that, but the individual using the porn - especially if they do so knowing and disregarding the feelings of their partner - is responsible for their behavior. That part is NOT the responsibility of the person who doesn't want porn in the relationship, and that harm is NOT being caused by the person who doesn't want porn in the relationship. To suggest differently is ludicrous. And to suggest that this harm is being caused simply because one person doesn't want porn (and perhaps if they did want it then the harm wouldn't be there) is also ludicrous. You want the porn user to be able to feel the way they feel and have free expression; well, the person not wanting porn is also allowed to feel the way they feel and have free expression.

At that point, there need to be a lot of heartfelt discussions and explorations to determine if porn is going to be an acceptable compromise in that particular relationship. Maybe it will be, maybe it won't. It's an agreement on what will work for those two individuals. But each person owns their part.

Also, it seems one could just as easily say that the attitude that the porn using partner has about porn is the harmful thing here. I mean, it goes both ways. Let's not automatically assume that the person who "disapproves" of the activity needs to be the one making all the changes.

Accurately depicts? What a stupid comment. There are so many different kinds of porn? So which one accurately depicts? The porn which shows that all women have instant orgasms with intercourse -- which is OBVIOUSLY NOT an accurate depiction. And the fact that so many young men learn all the wrong things from porn, it is also not an accurate depiction. Not to mention porn that shows women as loving and caring, or porn made by women for women.

This has got to be one of the most ignorant comments I've read on this forum.

Accurately depicts? What a stupid comment. There are so many different kinds of porn? So which one accurately depicts? The porn which shows that all women have instant orgasms with intercourse -- which is OBVIOUSLY NOT an accurate depiction. And the fact that so many young men learn all the wrong things from porn, it is also not an accurate depiction. Not to mention porn that shows women as loving and caring, or porn made by women for women.

ive known self admitted female porn viewers who have developed
d!ck size preferences due to their own porn consumption,These same women consider an average sized dude "too small" and heaven forbid a slightly avg dude a 'baby d!ck' and think a dude who doesn't stay eternally hard (like in their fave pornos) is a chump--go figure.They exist and you'd be surprised how many gals there are like that--no joke.Goes both ways.

I never found the "eternally hard" impression of porn convincing. Especially when you realize that a lot of these dudes are popping Viagra. And then have you ever noticed how you RARELY see a dude IN THE PROCESS of getting hard? All you usually see is he's soft, and then cut to a new camera, and he's suddenly totally hard. Which makes you realize he probably had to "work it" in some way that wouldn't have been very impressive in order to get hard. And why is he having that much trouble getting hard if he's already popping Viagra?

In what ways would you envision this post be written so as to be able to critique the statements made by Peg without appearing as if the sole purpose of the post is to justify pornography use (which I don't think needs to be justified, in any case...)?

To suggest that someone needs to write an article in a public forum to justify his private addiction is kind of dumb. Obviously you're just trying to bait the author because you have no cogent argument of your own.

As for the author's intelligence he's right on point about the fact that there are way too many studies which try to imply important causal relationships from mere correlational data.

You must be Jesse Marczyk. Or someone related to him. Otherwise, why get so defensive?

I never made any "suggestion" that Marczyk (or you) "needs" to write any article to justify his "private addiction"; I implied that his article reflects his addiction. At the very least it reflects a strong bias, which - tsk tsk - is not becoming of a student intent on a career in the sciences.

Additionally, picking one point Marczyk made out of the entire article in an attempt to prove him some wise sage does not exactly accomplish any such goal. Any idiot can find the bright shiny apple in the barrel of rotten fruit now and then. He is indeed on point about the correlation does not equal causation concept, which any first year psychology student is also aware of. Taken as a whole, however, the article comes across as high-handed, ridiculous, and really no better than Peg Streep's article in terms of "evidence" or proving any real point.

Mr. Marczyk, I suggest you tread lightly with you rational points and evidence-based arguments. The livelihood of many therapists depends upon people believing their relationship shortcomings are due to pornography use. If you eliminate that reason, people may have to look inside themselves for answers.

If one partner disapproves and finds it offensive. I am not a scholarly person; however, I found your blog hard to follow and understand your point. Varying between violent video games vs. pornography was confusing. As I agreed with Anonymous's post - your blog seems to be a long winded attempt to justify your addiction to porn.

At the risk of being redundant in my responses (this one is dealt with above), that one partner finds porn distasteful does not mean that thing causes harm. Here's a simple for instance:

(1) Let's say I like football
(2) My partner disapproves of my liking football
(3) Conflict over my liking football emerges

In such a context, I would be hard-pressed to say that football per se is what happens to be causing my relationship problems. One could just as easily suggest that the attitude my partner holds towards football is what is causing the problem.

If you find this post hard to follow, perhaps I have written it poorly. However, since no one else has suggested to be that the post is hard to follow (many suggesting quite the opposite, though maybe they're just sparing my feelings...), I would suggest that a more plausible alternative is that you are having trouble with the post because it does not agree with your sensibilities (judging from this comment and your other one above), so you aren't really open to reading what I put out there.

As I stated in my post -- I am not a scholarly person. That being re-stated again....I did find your blog hard to follow because of the comparing porn to violent games and all the citations....it was hard for me to follow your point.

I am biased on this subject because I personally know two marriages that fell apart because one partner was not willing to work on their obsession with porn.

Also, I apologize for insinuating that your blog was an attempt to justify you addiction to porn. I do not know you and I had no right to voice this opinion. Again, being biased on this subject and having known couples who could not work through this particular issue to keep their marriage together, I became irritated that your blog felt porn is not a problem.

Just to balance your anecdote, I have viewed porn and my knows it and thinks it's fine. I have a friend who has a wife who also enjoys porn and they like watching it together. Sometimes they laugh at cheesy scenes, sometimes they come up with ideas.

The content of this blog is fine for being skeptical of the psychological studies that Meg cited. Psychology is a science that rarely gets to directly identify the causes of behaviour, much of it is based on correlation, and so leaves room for interpretation. But sometimes you have to ask yourself what is motivating the skepticism?

The studies that Meg cited show pornography consumption within relationships is weakly correlated with infidelity, less love and trust, marriage dissolution but it could be that porn consumption rises within poor relationships rather than porn causing poor relationships.

It could also, more plausibly, be that they interact with each other with one partner turning to porn to relieve sexual tension when there is a problem in the relationship and this in turn making it harder to feel satisfied by his partner and leading to feelings of betrayal. Attitudes towards pornography consumption, unlike attitudes towards football, are often correlated with feelings of betrayal and distrust. This is understandable as whilst engaging with pornography you are visualising (and probably later fantasizing) having sex with someone other than your partner!

I was surprised that Meg didn't cite more research on pornography and attitudes towards women as within some personality types (porn doesn't affect everyone the same way) high rates of porn consumption are correlated with attitudes supporting violence towards women. CF 'Experimental Effects of Exposure to Pornography' by Hald and Malamuth.

Personally I wouldn't be that worried if my partner was watching a bit of pornography when we were apart, but if it became a regular habit I would be more concerned.

Oh, pul….lease, people! Can we get a reality check, here? ANYTHING can be damaging to a relationship if SELFISHNESS is involved. Why do we always have to try to blame our problems on a THING when the real problem is us?

It's not the "thing," but how we use and relate to the "thing."

Erotica has been read and viewed by people for decades. Centuries, actually. Why? Because it's exciting. It's arousing. We all like sex in a variety of ways.

Now, if you're neglecting your partner, there might be a problem. But it's not because of some naked pictures.

I have received two e-mail notices from Psychology Today stating that Anonymous has posted a reply to my post. These are the e-mails I received from Psychology Today that included the posts by Anonymous that I cannot find on this page:

Hi nvmrprsn25,

Anonymous has commented on: "Is There Any Evidence That Porn Is Harmful To
Relationships?"

Subject: Feminists hate porn because
Feminists hate porn because it shows women as they really are. It goes right
to the core of female sexuality without all the "good girl" cover up.

I contend that porn accurately depicts women's desires and they hate hiving
their true nature exposed.

For centuries women have engaged in those acts and then lied about it in
order to get some poor sap to marry them.

Porn reveals the true nature of women.

And
Hi nvmrprsn25,

Anonymous has commented on: "Is There Any Evidence That Porn Is Harmful To
Relationships?"

Subject: You are either a fat angry
You are either a fat angry woman, a religious fanatic or Peg Streep.

People confuse these two things all the time. It's one of the most difficult mental exercises to see two things happening concurrently and not jump to the conclusion that one of them (usually the one we disapprove of) is the cause. Of course couples do fight over porn use, but it's no more helpful to blame the porn than it is to blame the baseball game on TV when a spouse spends hours watching that instead of tending to family responsibilities. In both cases, it's not what the person is looking at on the screen that's the problem. There's a fundamental selfishness that we have to grow out of if we are to sustain romantic relationships with others over the long term. That doesn't mean one person has to forever abstain from masturbating to porn, but it means both people involved have to be willing to see the other person's point of view and not be so intractable. This is true of any point of friction in a marriage. I had an uncle who made his wife's weight gain over the course of their marriage into the hill on which he would plant his flag and die, if need be. They both lived in an unhappy marriage for years because she had once been a cheerleader, and now she was, in his eyes, a fat slob, and they fought and fought. It never occurred to him, I suppose, that there was, or ought to have been, more to their relationship than her physical attractiveness. And if that was the only reason he married her, then what did that say about him? My point being, we look for simple causes of our unhappiness, and porn is a popular red herring in the pursuit of our answers.

Now there have been some good points made about causation. But I think most folks who have dealt with such experiences and carefully considered the topic would conclude (or at least theorize/hypothesize) internet porn is both a symptom and a cause of relationship strife. I don't really care if the p values from a study aren't reflecting this widely-known/experienced truth.

Thanks for writing this! I was irritated when I read her article and wanted to comment and was led to your rebuttal. Porn in my mind is not the issue, just a symptom of something else. It doesn't even have to be related to anything other than some people enjoy consuming porn. Men are very visual creatures, it stands to reason they would use porn more and find it more appealing. In most cases where I've had a girlfriend that didn't like porn it was related to jealousy, insecurity, and poor body image. Porn is just the scapegoat and the person that said she knew 2 couples that broke up over porn I'd say had no clue what was really going on in those relationships.