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Tuesday, March 06, 2012

As DC universe superheroes and their associates go, Jean Loring never figured too largely into the the overarching plot. Jean was the Lois Lane to the Atom, a B-level Justice League member who, using a comic book interpretation of science — that is, magic, more or less — harnessed the power of white dwarf star to shrink down to teeny-tiny proportions. Jean, one of those lady lawyers, happily Lois Laned from her introduction in 1961 up until the 2004 series Identity Crisis, during which she attempted a reunion with the estranged Atom through a most unconventional means. In short, Jean had the bright idea to endanger the loved one of another superhero in an effort to drive all the masks and capes back to their Gotham City manors and Metropolis apartments and the distressed civilians who await them there. In long (and in horrific detail), Jean borrowed the Atom’s superpower, shrunk down and entered the brain of Sue Dibny — herself the Lois Lane to another DC universe B-lister, Elongated Man. Once inside Sue’s squishy gray mass, Jean triggered a stroke. When Sue died, Jean panicked and took a flamethrower to Sue’s body. Ultimately, her wrongdoing came to light, and Jean was carted away to Arkham Asylum, where she resided among the many brain-fried, criminally insane freaks who constitute Batman’s gallery of rogues… until she became possessed by the all-powerful supernatural entity Eclipso.

Oh, and it turned out that at the time of her murder, Sue Dibny was pregnant.

All that said, I feel it’s worth pointing out that this poor woman — this damsel-turned embodiment of evil — looks like a certain someone.

Also, it’s worth noting that if she thought she’d stand to benefit from doing so, Kris Jenner would totally take a flamethrower to a corpse.