I’ve actually been making it in my dorm room for quite some time, although I’m not entirely sure if my roommate approves of our room consistently smelling like warm granola.

On an unrelated note, I’ve figured out that if you give people enough food, they lose their ability to complain/protest/talk.

I must warn you, however, that granola can and will get burned in the microwave. I’m just glad I haven’t set off the building’s fire alarms yet, because I’m not sure how I could explain making granola using a microwave at 11:30pm on a Saturday night in my bright blue Hello Kitty pajama shorts.

With a spoonful of Nutella in one hand and a Harry Potter movie in the other.

Haters gonna hate.

When it comes to dorm neighbors, some things are better left unknown.

All-Natural Microwave Granola

Notes: This is delightfully crispy when it’s freshly made, but it unfortunately doesn’t stay that way for more than a few hours. Fortunately, it is entirely possible to consume the entire batch in one short sitting. I have tried many times, and also succeeded many times without trying.

Also, I’ve left out the quantities of each ingredient—because granola should be spontaneous, fun, and wild.

Ingredients

old-fashioned oats.Your mom and other recipe sources have told you many times but I’m going to say it again: not the quick oats.

honey.Or agave nectar, or anything sticky sweet.

nuts.If you haven’t eaten all of them during your midnight snacking rampages.

dried fruits.Optional.

cinnamon.Slightly less optional.

Steps:

Put everything in a bowl and mash together until there’s a thin layer of honey coating everything.

That’s the way uh huh uh huh

Now pop it in the microwave and heat for one minute, or until the oats are a nice sizzling golden brown. Stir occasionally and keep your eye on it!

Take it out, lay it flat, and let it cool. As it cools, it gets crunchy. As it gets crunchy, you get happy.

Sunbathing; it’s rude to stare.

The Extra Mile:

Add some cocoa powder or shredded coconut or whatever you have on hand that happens to be in small bits.

Add real chocolate. Watch it melt into delicious ribbons.

Now: Imagine this on a soft pillowy bed of strawberry yogurt. Imagine this drowned in milk. Imagine this immersed in dreamy Nutella.