A bloke's biggest fear: no beer

Barclay White

It's usually spiders, heights and public speaking that rate highly as common worst nightmares, but as summer hits and the mercury hits the high 30s, Brisbane men have a new one: running out of beer.

According to shameless publicity by Great Northern Brewing Company, Brisbane men may fear running out of beer on a hot summer day worse than anything else.

The survey by the vested interests of beerologists says 33 per cent of Brisbane blokes between 18 and 65 think there is nothing worse than running out of beer on a hot summer day.

This is followed by having no air-conditioning, at 25 per cent, and changing a flat tyre on the highway, at 23 per cent.

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Could it be that as our urban lives become more comfortable and safe, with little real danger, that our minds create arbitrary fears?

Some people might have an abnormal fear of clowns ever since Tim Curry scared a generation by playing the psychopathic clown Pennywise in the TV miniseries It, or since hearing the music of the Insane Clown Posse.

According to the internet, a fear of clowns is quite common, with “coulrophobia” being the official name of the phobia. It isn't listed in many psychiatric journals but it does have its very own Wikipedia page.

But still, lucky for us, the Great Northern Brewing Company is ramping up production to save Brisbane men who have an abnormal fear of running out of beer.

Brisbane men who fear a lack of beer (lackofbeeraphobia?) should also prepare a beer preparedness guide to survive the summer.

Put an emergency beer map on the fridge, listing nearby bottle shops and pubs, along with their opening and closing times.

Preparing for public holidays by stocking up on beer beforehand.

Always keep at least two emergency beers in a safe place at all times as a last resort.

1 comment

lol and they wonder why they get fat over 30 and then get liver diseases at 40. Nah not me. I choose t drink once a month or even less and exercise. Woman like men with a good body. Keeps a marriage lasting longer. The rest have yet to figure that out.