Monday, October 18, 2010

I will admit that i am a reality TV junkie, Once i hear about a new show i will give it a try believe me there are some CRAY-ZAY one's out there! When i heard about Sister Wives my first thought was "sweet! this is going to be entertaining!" Ah the simple joys i get from TV Wasteland! This is what happens when you're a stay at home mom and the kids go to bed.....

Sister wives is about the The Brown family, Kody Brown- the mack daddy with the flowing blond locks who looks like he secretly applies bronzer to his face. Meri- The first wife who doesn't seem to realize that she has put up with Mr Ken wannabe for 20 years and can Pull Rank as she is numero uno! Janelle- the second wife who seems to be the only one with a career outside of the house... and takes full advantage of the living arrangement by having the other wives watch her kids while she works all day......Smart Woman!!! Get That Money Gurl!! Christine- the third wife who is a lil whacked but that makes her my fave of course. She stays at home with the kids and seems to be the most nurturing and caring one. She also lets Kreepy Kody know when he is out of line more so than the other two wives. Then there is the 4th wife Robyn- Can we say people pleaser? She tries not to step on any one's toes but fails miserably....I mean 16 years with the other three wives and then she brings her skinny behind into the mix? Home wrecker was flashing on a neon sign in my head when she came on the screen.

Nevertheless it seems as though these woman have serious self esteem issues which makes me feel bad for them. There are obvious jealousy issues which leaves me befuddled as i cant see why They would choose this lifestyle. To each their own i guess.. I believe everyone deserves a right to marry who ever the hell they want to marry.

I want to get back to Kreepy Kody...this guy has 800 kids and yet he drives a tiny sports car? What the hell! He also had said that he rotates nights with the wives so they can spend time with HIM......In my mind that translated to "Guess who gets a piece of Kody Kake tonight!" See how i spelled cake with a K.....Get it? Bwah ha ha I'm dying over here! OK let me wipe the L off my forehead and move on...Kreepy Kody comes off as a really nice guy most of the time but there is always the underlying creep factor in the way he carefully analyzes what the women say...Or the way he sneaks off to kiss his then fiance while his third wife is in labor uh yeah that should have earned him a cast iron pan to the head!!

I just finished the last episode of season 1 , Kody and Robyn get "Married" and the other wives get rightfully pissed off when they find out Kody picked out Robyn's dress when according to them "he didn't care what they wore to each of their respective weddings" I sense jealousy when Robyn gets to have a huge reception after the wedding while the other three did not for various reasons. A moment that really threw me for a loop was when first wife Meri was helping Kody get ready for his wedding to Robyn while staring longingly into his eyes,giggling and saying "i wish it were MY wedding night" Yeah Creep factor could not be measured due to the fact that it just blew off the charts right there.

I know i sound really judgemental but hey it's a reality show with people who chose to broadcast their lives to millions. Anyway i hope there is a second season so we can see how Robyn will fit into their family/house and if child 801 makes appearance. Or which wife finally loses it and goes all Waiting to Exhale on Kreepy Kody's ass. My money is on Christine :-)

Monday, June 21, 2010

I know I'm probably going to get flamed for this somewhere but If i cared about what people thought about me I'd be living under a rock. Let me start by giving some insight into how I was raised.

I remember my first spanking very vividly i think i was about 2, i hit my brother in the arm with a stick. I know i was really young cause i didn't know better not to do it with our dad sitting right behind us. He spanked me and i was in shock! I could not believe that my daddy would spank me! You better believe i didn't hit my brother again, well for a day or two anyway.

Here in the south or "Round these parts" It's pretty common for people to spank their children. Another spanking i remember pretty well was the time i had said a cuss word and my Granny heard me. I of course didn't know she was within hearing range. I was in first grade i don't even remember the word i had said. My Granny gave me the "You're gon git it!"Look and I knew i was in for it. One Cruel aspect of a good ole"Whoopin"was having to pick your own hickory. For those of you who don't know what a hickory stick is let me explain...Hickory sticks are a small,thin limb that you pick off a tree. The thinner and longer the better to"whoop"you with. I don't know what i was thinking But when she told me to pick my own Hickory i came back with the longest, thinnest one on the tree. I blame my self-conscious for knowing that i had a done wrong and was going to be properly punished for doing so. She"Tore my legs up"with that thing. I was doing the hickory dance all over the kitchen trying to dodge it to no avail.. Granny was fast!

My Papa used to say"You aint never too old for a whoopin"His Point was proven when i was 15 and called my mama a Bitch. She Got ahold of me and beat my ass and Rightfully so. That was such an ugly thing to call my mama....to call any one's Mama! If i disrespected someone or just didn't listen i immediately felt bad afterwards not only because i felt like an ugly person for being mean to someone else but also because i knew i was gettin a spankin when my mama found out!

These days some people compare spankings to child abuse...Those people need a good spankin cause they are idiots. I never once felt abused. Now if you hit your child out of anger or literally beat the shit out of your kid to where they are injured then you should be shot in the face cause THAT IS child abuse!! That is solely my opinion.

If I'm dealing with my unruly child in public and there is no bathroom around I'll pop him, One thing i cant stand is if someone says something like"You shouldn't spank your children"Well maybe if you're Mama spanked your ass you would know better than to put your nose where it don't belong. I'm not saying to stand by and watch a child be beat senseless. If that's what you think i mean by all of this then you're an idiot too and need a spankin.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Let me start this off by giving Thomas aka Tom Tom An honorable mention as i left him out of my description. Thomas is a very loved and important member of our family.

Thomas is not a really a people person he likes to do his own thing, every once and awhile he will come up and want to be loved on but this is very rare. Thomas and i once had a love/hate relationship. When we first brought him to our new house he pooped and peed on my bed twice for me that was enough to want to give him the boot!! However i believe that once you take in an animal they are yours forever, your responsibility. So Thomas stayed.. and he has not used our bed as a litter box Ever again.

Thomas Enjoys getting into my closet and Jumping out at me when i open the door this has resulted in Thomas being verbally assaulted more than once! He takes it all in stride though cause he's cool like that.

This is Thomas..He's fat and lazy..

He's a strange creature...

He's one good looking cat and he knows it!

Now For Bella aka Phillip. We have had Bella for a few months now she is VERY energetic. Bella enjoys chewing anything that can be chewed..I cant even tell you how many dismembered plastic dinosaurs i have found on the back of our couch or how many times i have caught her standing on two legs to reach our DVDs so she can chew the cases.

Bella Likes to play with Thomas. I'm sure if Thomas could talk he would tell you it's more like torture! She chases him through the house and steals his food. Don't be fooled, Thomas shows her who's boss when he's had enough which results in Bella crawling under her blanket in her bed.

Bella is also known as Phillip because my brother likes to call her that. There is no reason as to why he does but she will come to Phillip as well as Bella. I think she has just accepted that he will always call her Phillip.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Oh the things that can happen In the span of 5 minutes! My Kids, "we'll call them Beetlebee who is 4 and ladybug who is 16 months" were playing nicely in the living room floor, Perfect chance to throw some laundry in the dryer right? WRONG! My first mistake was trusting that they would continue to play nicely. My second mistake was closing the laundry room door to keep the little ladybug from following me in there and messing with everything as 1 year olds often do. I'm going about my business in there totally oblivious to the fact that about 10 seconds after i left the room Beetlebee fetched some kool aid packets off the counter and so begins the Great Kool Aid hurricane of 2010...It came with a vengeance!

I get done loading the clothes into the dryer, open the door that looks out into the kitchen and see a pool of purple powder"What the hell is that!' I think to myself. Ladybug comes as fast as she can into the kitchen "Mama! Hi! Hi Mama!" She is Covered in a thick red gooey powder head to toe Literally!! Did someone drop a bucket of pigs blood onto my daughters head? Oh no wait that was a movie.. Moving along.. I see Beetlebee hiding behind the couch that is covered in Kool Aid powder. I go towards him.. Wait what is this sticky crap sticking to the bottom of my feet!.. AH HA! I spot the ripped open Kool aid packets. I take in my surroundings.. there is a trail of Kool aid powder from the kitchen into the living room on the couch, on my throw, The cats normally snow white paws were now a vibrant shade of red.. He must have been in the eye of the storm, Poor little guy.

Beetlebee was covered only from the waist down. I asked him why did you do that? He said " well i was making kool aid but then i didn't know how so i just opened all the kool aid" Uh huh because thats the logical thing to do for a 4 year old i guess.

I get the powder cleaned up, put the kids in the bath and they are really enjoying the pink water... Beetlebee asks "Hey! Can we put sugar in here and drink it with straws?!" No..No you can not!!

Lesson i learned today... Never turn your back on kids who are playing nicely, they are just opportunists waiting for a blind eye, or an opening to hatch their evil plans Of household destruction!

6am I Hear a tap at my bedroom door.."Mommy can i come in" I hear a tiny voice whisper, My precious boy Curls up beside me.."Mommy? He says. "I love you, Good Morning..It's a beautiful day Mommy.. The birds are beautiful and the sky is beautiful, The grass is beautiful and the rocks are beautiful, The bugs are beautiful and the worms are beautiful. Mommy..I'm going back to sleep now..Just wanted to tell you i think today is beautiful". I think you're right Precious boy.