NBC Axes Leno, Tabs O'Brien To Replace Self

Citing the sensational ratings over the final week of "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien", NBC announced Monday that it has fired Conan O'Brien-replacement Jay Leno and replaced him with Conan O'Brien.

"Conan O'Brien is once again the future of late-night television," said a statement. "Any Tom, Dick or Zucker can see that.

"What makes a Network a man is whether or not it has enough courage to admit its mistakes, not whether or not it has enough sense to realize that Networks aren't people."

Alluding to recent reports that the now resolved fracas originated as the result of the follicly-challenged Jeff Zucker's bitter jealousy of Coco's celebrated coif:

"We refuse to respond to allegations so inane that they could have easily been made by NBC executives."

As evidence of their repaired relationship, it was noted that O'Brien himself had helped write the release.

Though O'Brien could be contacted, he was unable to comment. Sources indicate that his latest deal doesn't dissolve the censorship imposed by his previous deal until February 14th. O'Brien will replace himself as host of "The Tonight Show" on March 1st.

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