“I’m concerned about my child’s...”

Saying “I’m concerned about my child’s progress in math” is a lot less confrontational than saying, “You need to do more to help my son with math.” Using “I” statements instead of “you” statements can let the teacher know that you want to work together as partners and that you’re not playing the blame game.

“What was the goal of this assignment?”

It’s important to make sure you and the teacher are working toward the same goals. Clarifying those goals is key. It’s also important to emphasize that you share those goals. A good follow-up to this question would be to ask, “Do you have any suggestions for other activities my child could do to work on those skills?”

“Have you considered...”

“I’ve noticed...”

This phrase allows you to share information and respectfully acknowledge that parents and teachers often see children from different perspectives. For example, you could say, “I’ve noticed my child can retell a story with more detail after she reads it aloud. Are there opportunities for reading aloud during classroom reading instruction?”

“It seems as if she has a harder time doing __ when __.”

Seems and appears are useful words when trying to reach a shared understanding about a child’s strengths and needs. These words allow you to present your take on the situation without making a harmful or incorrect assumption. For example, you could say, “It seems as if my child has a harder time showing what she knows when the worksheets mix operations” or “She appears to not complete homework when the assignments involve multi-part directions.”

“Her IEP provides her with __. How does that look in the classroom?”

This is a good way to ask about accommodations without accusing the teacher of failing to provide them. Remember the goal is to work together. Avoid making assumptions that could damage your relationship.

When your child has dyspraxia, it’s important to talk with his teacher about it. Understanding what your child struggles with allows the teacher to find ways for your child to be successful in the classroom. These tips can help guide the conversation.