You heard me right, Gram . . . you know more about cooking than anyone in the whole world, b-b-b-but I did it, Gram . . . I fried cauliflower--even burned it a little . . . and it was good.

“HOGWASH, Sonny! Nobody fries cauliflower . . . you steam it . . . and when it is nice and tender you melt butter over the top, and serve it hot. “

No, Gram! I fried it . . . I’ll admit that I steamed it a little first . . . but then I fried it in olive oil in my old iron skillet, and when it was done I fried a few strips of thick fresh side in the same skillet . . . really good, Gram!

“Well, I swan! In all my born days I never heard of anything so ridiculous, Sonny . . . here give me another whiff of my smelling salts . . . Ah! That’s better . . . but I still can’t believe it . . . I don’t know what’s gonna happen to you young folks . . . FRIED CAULIFLOWER? . . . what kind of fol-de-rol is that?”

I’m sorry to have gotten you all riled up, Gram . . . but there’s more . . . now brace yourself . . . I fried a few thick strips of fresh side in the same skillet when the cauliflower was nice and browned . . . and, Gram, I didn’t even flour the side . . . just fried it in the same skillet with a little salt and pepper.

“I can’t believe it, Sonny . . . you didn’t (GASP!) flour the side . . . this gets worse as it goes on . . . nobody fries fresh side without flouring it . . . that would be sacrilegious . . . I’ll bet you didn’t even make gravy to have with the side.“

No! I didn’t make gravy, Gram . . . but when the side was covered with the fryings in the skillet, I sprinkled finely-rolled crackers crumbs on the strips and did the same thing after I turned it . . . Wow! Those cracker crumbs browned right along with the side . . . it was great . . . I creamed some whole-kernel corn and served it with chilled sliced tomatoes topped with cottage cheese. “Well, you did something right, Sonny . . . it’s hard to beat creamed corn and chilled sliced tomatoes in the summertime . . . Here . . . help me to the couch, Sonny . . . and keep my salts handy . . . I don’t think I’m ever gonna understand what makes you youngsters tick . . . in the kitchen or anyplace else.”