Problems

WalnutsGirl

Posted 09/05/2018

I'm pregnant with my first child and now my boyfriend is being very demanding and pushy about sex. We always used condoms before, but now that I am pregnant it's not like I can get pregnant again, so we stopped using them. I told him I didn't feel good and he still wouldn't back off. I gave in but I don't think I should have to be badgered to have sex if I don't feel like it just because he loves how it feels without condoms.

I also worry he keeps bringing up anal. I tried it twice with him before and now I am scared to do it because I am worried about it spreading bacteria to the baby. Also, I just plain don't like it. Is it safe?

After getting some advice from others, I am planning to go spend some time with my family so I can think about what is best for the baby and me. I think we need a break and there needs to be some ground rules made before I go back. Is this reasonable?

Problems
WalnutsGirl
WalnutsGirl
Posted 3 mins ago
I'm pregnant with my first child and now my boyfriend is being very demanding and pushy about sex. We always used condoms before, but now that I am pregnant it's not like I can get pregnant again, so we stopped using them. I told him I didn't feel good and he still wouldn't back off. I gave in but I don't think I should have to be badgered to have sex if I don't feel like it just because he loves how it feels without condoms.

I also worry he keeps bringing up anal. I tried it twice with him before and now I am scared to do it because I am worried about it spreading bacteria to the baby. Also, I just plain don't like it. Is it safe?

After getting some advice from others, I am planning to go spend some time with my family so I can think about what is best for the baby and me. I think we need a break and there needs to be some ground rules made before I go back. Is this reasonable?

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BOUGIE bitch

He used to do surgery, for girls in the 80's, but gravity always wins...

I know that seems absurd and impossible, but what he is doing is rape by coercion and it is NOT okay. It is also not something that can usually be fixed with ground rules, as that often just ramps up the abuse. I highly recommend you stop having sex you don't want to have and check out loveisrespect.org.

And as far as anal, not only do you risk crosscontamination that can negatively affect the baby, you are also at a much higher risk for anal fissures (which can become infected) and hemmroids during pregnancy. Personally, I very much enjoy it but it's been off limits since I got the positive pregnancy test. Not worth the risk.

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I knew if I hung around BBC long enough, I'd get to join the "my doctor told me it was impossible to conceive, but here I am" club. EDD - 12/02/2018

I am 21 and he is 30. I dropped out of school to move with him for him to get a better job so my parents are unhappy with me and I have kind of lost touch with my friends and family over him. I did call my parents tonight though and they said I could come and stay and that I should come right away.

He has never physically forced me to do anything. He just gropes me and keeps touching and insisting on sex when he wants it so I give in because it is easier and then we don't fight.

“He has never physically forced me to do anything. He just gropes me and keeps touching and insisting on sex when he wants it so I give in because it is easier and then we don't fight.” = coercive rape.

Thanks for all your help. I do not want my kid to see him treating me the way he does and I do not want to feel stressed out as I know stress can harm a fetus.

I have been really down on myself. He tells me how I owe things to him because he is a lot more attractive then I am and he pays for me now since I quit school and my job to move with him. Now that I am pregnant I am getting more sad that I picked him over my family and friends.

Thanks for all your help. I do not want my kid to see him treating me the way...

Posted
09/05/2018

Thanks for all your help. I do not want my kid to see him treating me the way he does and I do not want to feel stressed out as I know stress can harm a fetus.

I have been really down on myself. He tells me how I owe things to him because he is a lot more attractive then I am and he pays for me now since I quit school and my job to move with him. Now that I am pregnant I am getting more sad that I picked him over my family and friends.

You are in an abusive relationship, OP. Everything you're describing is textbook - control, isolation, verbal abuse, and escalating to coercion and unwanted physical contact. The next step is physical abuse.

You need to get out now. You don't have to keep choosing him over your family and friends, especially when they are offering to help you. But only you can decide to put your baby's safety above your own pride and take the help being offered.

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I knew if I hung around BBC long enough, I'd get to join the "my doctor told me it was impossible to conceive, but here I am" club. EDD - 12/02/2018

I did call my parents and they are expecting me tomorrow. They live a few hours away and I am planning to leave after my boyfriend goes to work in the morning. I am not telling him I am leaving ahead of time.

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