The Trouble With Nicknames

Crappy Boy and Crappy Baby made up a song. They like to do it when they are happy. It has a dance that goes with it.

They call it their funky song.

They were inspired after listening to James Brown.

The only repeating lyric is “Stick out your butt now!” though they do intersperse some James Brown style “Heh!” shouts. And you guessed it, the dance involves them sticking their butts out. (Before anyone asks, no, they haven’t seen any music videos of stripper-esque butt bounce dancing. This is entirely their own invention.)

So in addition to their song and dance, Crappy Boy also has a new “joke” that he has been using on everyone.

This is his joke:

He tells the victim that he has to whisper something in their ear.

Then he leans in close. With a completely serious tone he whispers:

Then he collapses in laughter. Nice, huh?

So the other day…

I ask him what is going on with all the butt songs and jokes. I mean, it used to be poop so he is clearly growing up fast.

He explains that butts are funny. True. Hard to argue with that.

Then he adds:

His name? Huh?

A nickname? Butty?

I say it out loud. Butty.

OH!

Wait, he thought when we called him ‘Buddy’ we were actually saying ‘Butty’?

For all these years?

I’m dying laughing at this realization.

We’ve called him ‘Buddy’ on and off since he was a baby!

He was just living up to his name.

After we stopped laughing I explained that they are spelled differently and have different meanings.

I wrote them down to visually demonstrate. Which is why we now have a sheet of paper in our house that says:

Which Crappy Papa found when he got home and said, “Is this for me?”

No, it’s mine. And I plan to keep it forever.

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We had bacon butties for breakfast on Sunday – and got into a discussion about whether they were sarnies or butties. I wound up googling it to find if there’s a difference and apparently “butty” is a contraction of bread and butter… so it’s not a butty unless there’s butter in it!

As for Crappy Boy thinking he was a butty – stuff him full of chips or bacon, stat! 😉

I’ve called my youngest son (6) “sugar booger” for years. The other day he told me “I am NOT, boogers are gross!” (*sigh*) so much for that name. as long as my daughter (8) doesn’t balk at “sweet pea”, I think I’ll live.

My name is Shereen and throughout childhood my family would make up endless rhymes, “Shereenie weenie was a genie and couldn’t wear a bikini because she’s a meanie…”
ENDLESS. My sister still, 30 years later, calls me weenie.

I have to say that your blog cracks me up every time I read it! My 5 yo son was watching me folding laundry, tugged out my black bra, and asked if it was his… Um, no, that’s mommy’s bra. Then he proceeds to play with it, so I delve into what mommy and his uncle used to do with Gamma’s underwear and pantyhose when we were little. the Bank Robber. Super Woman. of course Mickey Mouse.
He straps the bra to his butt, turns around and yells – Mommy! I’m butt-cheeking!! Oh my…. totally my kid.

My 5-year-old has been on a “butt” and “booty” kick for a while now. He sneaks up behind me and tries to bongo drum my butt cheeks. He’s also a big fan of shaking his booty (he calls it his “funny booty dance” and you HAVE to laugh every damn time he does it) and just saying “butt” at random, sometimes awkward, moments.

I know all about that dance! When my daughter was about 2, she came up with the ‘Mermaid Dance’. It consisted of her sticking out her rump and wiggling it. Cutest thing ever coming from a child that age, not so much when a grown person does it. And she too never saw shows like that, it was her own creation.

How hilarious! My boys are a bit older….10, 8 and 7 months, but the older ones crack me up with stuff they say sometimes. My 8 year old was feeling the baby’s heart and says, hey mom I feel his heart beep, it feels like a teddy bear touching your hand. Lol….he meant to say heart beat, and as far as the teddy bear, I still don’t get it.
Or when they started calling their nipples nubes….not a clue. I corrected them and said nipples, and then my 8 year old started telling people he has nibbles…haha….then I explained nipples, with p not b.

My youngest did the same thing! He called nipples “nibbles”. When he wanted to breastfeed he would ask to “nurp” (nurse) my nibbles. Hubby & I thought it was better than the original, so now nibbles has permanently replaced nipples in our family’s vocabulary. I’m a lactation consultant, so I do use the word more frequently than most. 🙂

Actually, your sons will be obsessed with that part of anatomy too… Eventually. Actually, my 2 year old already is. Any lady that picks him up, gets a feel up. Me. Grammy… Auntie….. The speech therapist.

My 2nd DD does that same dance! She invented it when she was 3-4. She calls it the “Sticking out my bum-bum” dance, and has a little song that goes with it with that same kind of “Jame Brown” attitude.
We once asked her to do it for my DH’s cousin because we though it was so cute, but she lifted up her skirt and MOONED him!! I will never forget it!! (And I’m sure DH’s cousin won’t, either. Luckily he has kids, so he understands…)

For some strange reason my son has always called his balls his ‘bum-bums’ – I guess as there are 2 of them it makes kinda sense, he calls his big bum his bottom. However it gives a slightly different meaning to his song when he prances around shaking his butt singing “shake your bum-bums’

My daughter told me “I have a secret and need to whisper in your ear”. Then she screamed in my ear. It only happened that one time (to me…I tried to warn the rest of the family but they didn’t think my sweet darling child would be so cruel). After that when she tried to whisper in your ear, she’s start laughing and couldn’t stop.

When my daughter was little, she was madle in love with kitties. She had kitty shirts and kitty notebooks and stuffed kitties, you get the idea. So anyway, I was completely unaware that she interpreted “kiddie” as “kitty”. There were kitty rides in kitty land at the amusement park. She got a kitty meal at the restuarant or a kitty cone as the ice cream store. Imagine how confused she was when she asked why everything is called kitty but there are never any kitties. lol.

My nephew FREAKED when my Mom offered to take him swimming at a place that had a separate kitty pool. She couldn’t figure out the issue until he said “Nana, I am NOT going in that cat pool!”
He thought that sounded like the worst idea in history and I’d have to agree 🙂

There was that time I introduced my animal-obsessed son to a zebra crossing as part of my road safety schtick… I should have more precisely named the concept ‘pedestrian crossing’. Still, we did practise road safety several times on his safari seeking the alleged zebras.

My kids love Nanny McPhee. If you’ve seen it, you know the scene where each kid introduces him/herself with names that have something to do with the anatomy or some other “grossness”– Bosom, Aggington Fartworthy, etc… So, imagine in their best 6 yr old & 3 yr old Texas-style British voices introducing themselves as “Aggington Fartworthy”. Butts ARE funny.

Oh goodness, my girls are both fascinated with all things BUTT…poop, farts, running around naked shaking their booty’s, etc. We even call our 3 yr old Poo-poo as her nickname now, because for months she’d call everyone Poo-poo. She has since graduated to calling me and her daddy “Poopy Doopy”. I’m sure she’ll love that nickname in highschool!

It’s not just boys…my almost 3yo daughter just started pulling up her dress or pulling down her pants and singing “Pineapple underpants, pineapple underpants” while gyrating her hips. No. Idea. Where she got this from. Very funny in front of family. Not so cute in public (well, for me, anyway)…

I’m 39 weeks pregnant and my 4y.o. Son has been singing “your buns are like dough” for a couple of months now. Recently added is the verse that goes “your belly is like a drum”.
Soon the buns and the belly will be in the dough category I’m sure.

Mt two year old twin boys – as part of their morning routine – run up and down the hallway shounting ‘bum, bum, bum’ (English for butt). It was quite funny and cute – until they did it up and down the supermarket aisles yesterday. I tried to cover it up by telling one horrified old lady they were saying ‘ run, run , run’ but I don’t think she beleived me.

Yes she does. My parents just mentioned Goofy wears them to get rid of hiccoughs. Which now fully explains why she was singing it to her baby sister. The dance and pulling down of pants is just an evolution of the song because we laughed. Because the dance is new.

Hey, I just saw this – (If you like reading posts here and feel like pressing a button, you can vote for Crappy Pictures here in the Top 25 Funniest Moms list by Circle of Moms.) at the end of your comic and I just voted for you! I will vote for you daily too – because you are so funny and also you make me happy!

“Butt is an important part of human anatomy”, said my cousin, aged 4, when I pinched his little bottom. I was 22 at the time and got such a kick out of his serious, educational statement that it’s since become a family saying.

My 4yr old’s song always involves “shake your…” and then he names different body parts. I am praying he never does it in public, because usually at some point he shouts “Shake your penis.” Then when I tell him I don’t have one because I’m a girl, he shouts, “Shake your ‘gina!”

My 2 1/2 year old son walks up to his babysitter the other day and turns around, sticks out his butt, and says to her, “You want a piece of this?” Yes, my husband taught him that!! 🙂 Butts are def funny…

When my ds was in 1st grade, he tried to slip the word ‘butt’ into his spelling word list for homework. He wrote it neatly, in between ‘cat’ and ‘Dad’. Thought it was rip roaring hilarious when I scolded him and made him do the list over.

Roflmao…I brought my sick 3 yo to the door the other night so he could get some fresh air. After a few deep breaths, he ran his fingers through his hair and said “I feel better now Mommy, I have fresh hair.”. 🙂 Not as funny as butty though!

Hehe! Reminds me of my 3yo daughter who came out of the bathroom stark naked the other day, and when I asked her where her clothes were she told me she was having a “nekkid party” where you dance around naked and shake your bum-bum. She then proceeded to squeeze my boobs and tell me I had to take my shirt off so I could come to the nekkid party, too.

She also thinks that when your head hurts you have a “head egg” instead of a headache. Where do they come up with these things???

And we have a ‘butt dance’ in our house. It is silly and hilarious and has rather sad origins. Oldest was 3.5 yo when we had a son who was stillborn. I was beside myself most of the time, so husband and 3.5 yo came up with the ‘butt dance’ to make me smile. 5 years later it still works every time, and it’s even better now that we have another 3 yo to perform.

I just laughed so loud all of a sudden that my husband said, “You kinda scared me.”. This post is an above average (that’s saying a lot for you, you set the bar high!) funny post. Thank you for sharing!

Knowledge bomb! My sweet innocent angel does a sweet little dance he calls dipping chocolate. He did it at Thanksgiving two years ago on maw maw’s kitchen island. After wafting smelling salts under her nose she politely ask where he learned a dance like that. I was very unsure so in an effort to make it okay I said Animal planet. She canceled her cable subscription when they spent a week with her this past summer in an effort to “avoid” Animal Planet.

This post was freaking hilarious. You can retire on this alone. Haha. When I was a nanny the little girl would dance and shake her butt and nobody knew where she got it. She didn’t watch music videos, either! One day her dad asked her who taught her to dance like that and she pointed to her own chest and said, “Brookie!” It was especially embarrassing when we were waiting in line at a grocery store and I noticed her starting to shake her butt to entertain herself. :O

Ok so I guess my husband and I are the worst parents ever because when our two year old daughter is being a pain, we call her a butt. When she is having a tantrum, it changes to super butt, as in a super pain in the butt…and unlike her almost five year old sister, she is a butt quite often. Last night my hubby comes home from work and says, “Hi butt!” She replied, “Hi Daddy!”

OMG hysterical! Welcome to life with little boys. My boys are 7 and 9 and still obsessed with butts. They too make up songs, and find stinky butts especially funny. I have given up trying to stop them. Lol

lol This reminds me of my eldest daughter when she was little. She has little pointy ears and I used to tell her she had the cutest little elfin ears. Well, one day when she was in jr. high she came to me and told me that her whole life I teased her about her ears and it hurt her feelings. Perplexed by this I apologized and asked her why she thought me calling them elfin ear was so upsetting. She then explained to me that she looked nothing like an elephant and she was tired of me saying so… Elfin… Elephant… LMAO I had to explain to her that I wasn’t saying she looked like and elephant but a cute little elf.

I can remember crying hysterical to my mom when I was about 4 yo asking Daddy thought I smelled so bad…his nickname for me was Stinky. My mom always hated the nickname and was super glad when she got to tell my father to stop!

Butty is too funny, my husband calls our son that. He’s only 2 1/2, so I wonder if he thinks butts too?

omg this hilarious.
My 6 yr old likes to rub her butt while looking in the mirror. I ask her why she does this and she told me it was soft.
I was like well thats fine and shut the door while she finished admiring her rear end. I hope it doesnt continue but i pick my battles lol

My son and nephews would run around singing and dancing, the song consisted f the word “butties”. It made my sister and I laugh everytime. I once was having trouble cleaning a whole chicken, it would make me gag, my sister told me to sing “butties”, I did, no gagging. Now whenever we have to do anything gross we sing “butties”, if you are laughing you don’t gag!

so funny! my 4 year old told me a secret last week. I leaned in close and then he screamed in my ear. It was nice. And by nice I mean I wanted to scream in his ear so he could have that nice ringing sound too.

I called my 3yo daughter “Dear” one time and she responded by saying that she wasn’t a deer like Bambi, she was a kid. While holding back giggles, I explained to her that it was a term of endearment and that I was showing affection, but she insisted that she didn’t want to be called a deer. So I asked her if I could call her “Rory,” which is the nickname I picked based on her full name, and she said exasperatedly “No, mama, I’m not a lion either!”

Apparently, nicknames are not something that’s going to happen in our house…not for awhile, anyway.

We call our daughter Honey Buns and even have a box of the confections of the same name posted on her door. Totally a butt reference though. Hope her brother Mr. Bubbles doesn’t get jealous of her butt nickname.

I first read your blog about when you babysat for the lady that told her kids not to poop. I was hooked. My sister recommended it. Then I sent it to my recruiter, (i am a travel nurse) She cracked up, so now I forward all of your posts to her. I have laughed right out loud at work at times, and so does she. We now call my the crappy nurse. One time while I was waiting for one of 17 submissions to call me, I emailed her and asked her “Did you tell them my real name is crappy nurse, then Im sure they will call” She cracked up and the whole office wanted to know what was so funny. She just has to tell them they would have to know me to get it. WHEN IS THE BOOK COMING OUT? I am getting one for her as well as myself. I hope my cat understands that I am calling him BuDDy and not BuTTy.

Is it weird that, as I was reading this post, the first question I asked was “why is she sitting in a plain wooden chair, isolated in the middle of a room?” I also call both of my kids (5 and 8) “Buddy”. Now I’m wondering if they also think I’m making a butt joke!

My almost 6 year old is always wanting to “whisper” something in my ear. It’s usually, I just farted, my butt stinks, I have a skid mark, or a fake burp. He is always making up songs about butts, poop, or farts. Sometimes he and his brother will take a song and change some of the words to poop or butt. My favorite was “Must be Santa”, it sounded lovely remixed into “Must be Poopy”. They dare each other to sniff the cat’s butt or each other’s butts. It’s boys, I swear they were laughing and smiling at farts when they were only months old.

Every joke and lyric around here with my 5.5 and 2.5 year olds revolves around FART. I just love when my two year old calls someone a fart at the grocery store. Love it really. Hearing fart and farty all day just makes me beam with pride.

We used to call my son “Peanut” when he was very small. About age 5 he started getting a very serious face when we did and I asked why the scornful face? He said you know.. it’s where I go pee from (like the real name for it). Oops.

When my husband was little someone commented on how much he seemed to like tacos. He told them “I have to like them, it’s in my name!” His middle name is Tocher (“talker”) but with Boston accent it sounds an awful lot like taco. =)

My 4 year old has an unexplained fascination with butts (he doesn’t even have the excuse of being called buddy).
His favourite phrase at the moment is “Kiss my booty!” with indicative butt wiggling at the intended butt kisser. He also threatens to “…kiss your booty”. We haven’t had any incidences of strangers getting their butts kissed by a little 4 year old boy. Yet. It’s coming, I just know it.

My nickname is buddy and have often been referred to as butty as well…I’ve carried the name bujddy for 45 yrs now n butty ain’t bso bad…its way better than buttymunchowicz right? My mom nicknamed me buddy bthe day I was born n am so used to it would be marked absent in homeroom as I was so used to it…I’ve heard every variation of bud / buddy and the one really funny part is when someone cracks a joke in reference to my nickname the jokes usually on them…someone in the nineties would say bud…weiss…er from the frogs or someone would say hey ya know beer makes you smart…..it makes budweiser…everyone would get a laugh n when the chuckles died down I would say congratulations to you…I’ve never heard that one before…so thank you…stand up n have thbem stand up n say let’s have a big round of applause for this master of intellect…I’ve never heard that one before…I’m amazed at your originallity…let’s have a big hand for them…hip hip….hip hip…they usually would be so embarassed they would retreat to their shell…sometimes it would backfire on me though n they would be so humiliated they would wanna fight me…..I figured since I was gonna get pummled I then would say let’s have anothber big hand for thbis un/original douche..they can dish it out but can’t take a joke…what an idiot…had more than one black eye over that one but it was really fun…..

This reminds me so much of my kids! When they were 1 and 3 or so, they had a favorite party trick. They’d ask me to sing the song, and I was always torn between the mortification and the extreme cuteness, but usually I ended up doing the song for them because it was so damn funny. So I’d sing, “Shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your booty, shake your booty” and they’d bend over and shake their little butts. Then they’d giggle like crazy. I’m sure the people they performed for thought I was out of my mind for going along with it, unfortunately.
Also, my son’s nickname is Buddy. I can’t wait to ask him if he thinks his name is about butts.

When my daughter was going through the “butt” phase, I asked her, “why are butts so funny.” She looked at me like I was the stupidest person alive (wait, I thought that didn’t happen until teenagerdom?). Finally, she deigned to respond. “Because they poop!!!!!” Of course. I get it.

I call my son Bud or Buddy…so we are out one day and he walked right into a guy and I hollered out, “hey buddy, watch where you’re going!” The poor man gave me a look and then I had to clarify…I was hollering to J, not him. I now catch myself all the time…J isn’t good at watching where he is going 🙁

I think it’s important for your cultural diversity knowledge, you should know in the uk we don’t just call sandwiches butties, but butt and butty are the welsh for friend. Butty Bach is a little friend. Yet we can still laugh at butt jokes.

This is hilarious! At our local Wal-Mart the greeter has a very distinct voice and she always says “Hey, Buddy!” as you walk in the door. My then five-year-old wanted to know one day as we walked past why she was always calling us butts. I said “What? What do you mean butts?” He replies “You know, Hey Butty!”.

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