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JamBerry Ltd

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Remember Aunty Rose who doesn’t stop talking? Or Uncle Jack
who loves to tell funny stories? How many times have you heard the story
about….?

A Good Listener is Like a Good Dancer

A good dancer works with their partner, making the moves seem seamless. It is a skill that takes time to develop as anyone who has watched Strictly Come Dancing will know.

Active listening is also skill which takes time and effort to
develop. It is not passive and takes commitment from the listener. Active
listing shows that you value what the other person has to say and can encourage
other people to talk.

Active listeners have freed their minds and made a
commitment to absorb what the other person has to say so that they can respond
appropriately. They do not make assumptions about what the other person is
going to say – and therefore allow them to finish their sentence.

Active listeners:

·Show interest

·Request information

·Obtain understanding

Here are the five rules to active listening

·Pay attention.

oGive
the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the message. Recognize
that what is not said also speaks loudly.

oLook
at the speaker directly.

oPut
aside distracting thoughts. Don’t mentally prepare a rebuttal!

oAvoid
being distracted by environmental factors.

o“Listen”
to the speaker’s body language.

oRefrain
from side conversations when listening in a group setting.

·Show that you are listening.

oUse
your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.

oNod
occasionally.

oSmile
and use other facial expressions.

oNote
your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.

oEncourage
the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.

·Provide feedback.

oOur
personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear.
As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require
you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

oReflect
what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is…” and “Sounds like you
are saying…” are great ways to reflect back.

oAsk
questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say…” “Is this
what you mean?”

oSummarize
the speaker’s comments periodically.

·Defer judgment.

oInterrupting
is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of
the message.

oAllow
the speaker to finish.

oDon’t
interrupt with counter arguments.

·Respond Appropriately.

oActive
listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information
and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting
him or her down.

oBe
candid, open, and honest in your response.

oAssert
your opinions respectfully.

oTreat
the other person as he or she would want to be treated.

Active listening is just one aspect of good communication skills. The more you practice the better you will get at it.