Missing my old life

I miss my old life. I am 36, and I was very independent, before our little one came into our lives. Now I am a stay at home mom, with another one on the way, while my goals and aspirations are put off to be a stay at home with my little ones. Before I got pregnant the first time, I was three fourths done with my Masters degree in education. The month I found out I was on my way up to Nevada (where I am going to grad school) to finish the "on-sight" classes I needed to complete my program. My SO and I were engaged at the time, but we ended up getting married at the court house, so we were married before the baby came. It is really hard for me to rely on him for money,and I hate staying home all day, do the same mundane things everyday. I just feel stuck! I feel as though I will never get the opportunity to finish my goals and continue with my career. I know life comes with changes, but how can I learn to shake these blues and assimilate to my new circumstances?

I miss my old life. I am 36, and I was very independent, before our little one came into our lives. Now I am a stay at home mom, with another one on the way, while my goals and aspirations are put off to be a stay at home with my little ones. Before I got pregnant the first time, I was three fourths done with my Masters degree in education. The month I found out I was on my way up to Nevada (where I am going to grad school) to finish the "on-sight" classes I needed to complete my program. My SO and I were engaged at the time, but we ended up getting married at the court house, so we were married before the baby came. It is really hard for me to rely on him for money,and I hate staying home all day, do the same mundane things everyday. I just feel stuck! I feel as though I will never get the opportunity to finish my goals and continue with my career. I know life comes with changes, but how can I learn to shake these blues and assimilate to my new circumstances?

Honestly - I feel where you are coming from. I was a corporate exec for years. Maybe it's PPD, maybe you aren't a woman who is thrilled to be a SAHM.

It's okay. I've read a lot of other women who were dying to get back to work after babies and didn't want to be s SAHM.

For the moment can you find any time to pick up a hobby or maybe complete more of your education? I know that is a dumb question with a toddler and one in the way - but doesn't hurt to ask.

If I were you - what are your options? Could you and your DH find a way to do daycare so you have time out of the house for schooling or something that continues to make you feel you are using your education? Something close to home... maybe a few days a week?

Don't feel guilty. A lot of women feel just like you - it's just a decision on what are you going to do now.

I wish you the best.

Honestly - I feel where you are coming from. I was a corporate exec for years. Maybe it's PPD, maybe you aren't a woman who is thrilled to be a SAHM.

It's okay. I've read a lot of other women who were dying to get back to work after babies and didn't want to be s SAHM.

For the moment can you find any time to pick up a hobby or maybe complete more of your education? I know that is a dumb question with a toddler and one in the way - but doesn't hurt to ask.

If I were you - what are your options? Could you and your DH find a way to do daycare so you have time out of the house for schooling or something that continues to make you feel you are using your education? Something close to home... maybe a few days a week?

Don't feel guilty. A lot of women feel just like you - it's just a decision on what are you going to do now.

while it could be ppd I don't think so....I have a masters and I could make more money then my husband yet I'm at home with the kids..and pregnant...were making it ok financially but were not great....I love the kids and no one could do a better job then me...that's why I am doing it...and you only get one shot at that...and that's important to both of us...
we were raised in a world that said we are smart capable women...the world was ours what did we want to be do see....and now were not really using or doing any of it...it kills me....I struggle to say I'm unfullfilled but...I feel like I'm not doing my job or I have more to give...parenting is exshuasting....but its also mindnumbing and pretty much no recognition or promotion....where do I fins peace?? I haven't totally I'm on the path....I look for small moments and try to focus on those...things I get to see witness or share with the kids no one else ever will...a smile a laugh...I hope I dream I plan for the future...I tell myself my day will come...I also turn off my brain and heart sometimes and that kills apart of me and that's dangerous but I don't know what else to do...how do we balance it....I don't know I don't know too many people in our position....its easy to say change it...for me its not that easy

while it could be ppd I don't think so....I have a masters and I could make more money then my husband yet I'm at home with the kids..and pregnant...were making it ok financially but were not great....I love the kids and no one could do a better job then me...that's why I am doing it...and you only get one shot at that...and that's important to both of us...
we were raised in a world that said we are smart capable women...the world was ours what did we want to be do see....and now were not really using or doing any of it...it kills me....I struggle to say I'm unfullfilled but...I feel like I'm not doing my job or I have more to give...parenting is exshuasting....but its also mindnumbing and pretty much no recognition or promotion....where do I fins peace?? I haven't totally I'm on the path....I look for small moments and try to focus on those...things I get to see witness or share with the kids no one else ever will...a smile a laugh...I hope I dream I plan for the future...I tell myself my day will come...I also turn off my brain and heart sometimes and that kills apart of me and that's dangerous but I don't know what else to do...how do we balance it....I don't know I don't know too many people in our position....its easy to say change it...for me its not that easy

Know that you are not alone! Have you looked at doing your Masters online? I had to do that when my 2nd son because it wasn't feasible to teach all day and go to an on-site campus. Maybe doing that will give you some control over your goals. I agree with maybe finding daycare a few days a week so you can do school or something for yourself. I am at home now with baby #3 and a 5 yr old. I teach classes online so my days are a blur. I want to start my doctorate so I can get better college level teaching jobs, but with 3 young ones, that is tough right now. Sorry if my advice doesn't work for you, but know that it is totally normal to feel this way! It does NOT mean you have ppd.

Know that you are not alone! Have you looked at doing your Masters online? I had to do that when my 2nd son because it wasn't feasible to teach all day and go to an on-site campus. Maybe doing that will give you some control over your goals. I agree with maybe finding daycare a few days a week so you can do school or something for yourself. I am at home now with baby #3 and a 5 yr old. I teach classes online so my days are a blur. I want to start my doctorate so I can get better college level teaching jobs, but with 3 young ones, that is tough right now. Sorry if my advice doesn't work for you, but know that it is totally normal to feel this way! It does NOT mean you have ppd.

Maybe you could join an organization where you could volunteer a few times a week, like a couple of weekday evenings and a couple hours on the weekend, while your husband watches the kids. Pick something that interests you, inside or even outside your career field, and look around. Maybe after school tutoring groups or Big Brothers, Big Sisters, maybe an animal shelter or nursing home. It could give you a sense of accomplishment you're not fully getting right now.

Maybe you could join an organization where you could volunteer a few times a week, like a couple of weekday evenings and a couple hours on the weekend, while your husband watches the kids. Pick something that interests you, inside or even outside your career field, and look around. Maybe after school tutoring groups or Big Brothers, Big Sisters, maybe an animal shelter or nursing home. It could give you a sense of accomplishment you're not fully getting right now.

Ok, I'll be the one to say it. Not every woman is cut out to be a SAHM. I'm not! Go get a part time job, maybe even a day care where your kid can go too, especially since you were an Ed major. My sister is a WAHM and has lost her ability to communicate with adults effectively from too much time alone. Get back out into the world of adults! You will feel better and appreciate your children even more.

Ok, I'll be the one to say it. Not every woman is cut out to be a SAHM. I'm not! Go get a part time job, maybe even a day care where your kid can go too, especially since you were an Ed major. My sister is a WAHM and has lost her ability to communicate with adults effectively from too much time alone. Get back out into the world of adults! You will feel better and appreciate your children even more.

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