People say you get out of a friendship what you put in. I think it’s more complicated. To the extent you are prepared to truly risk yourself, to share something that exposes you, makes you vulnerable, open to getting hurt – to that extent you may get back something that takes your breath away. Not always, not for sure, but it’s certain that if you stay safe nothing of deep value will come back to you.

I had someone wiser than me once tell me this story. A man stands on stage in front of a large crowd. He yells out “I love you!” And almost guaranteed, somewhere a happy voice will ring out – “we love you too, man!” Another man stands on the same stage in front of the same crowd, and he yells “fuck you!” And again, with certainty, from somewhere comes the angry voice back: “well fuck you too asshole!” Was the crowd really different? Did the men encounter different crowds? You would think so to hear them explain it. But it could also be that what you send out into the world is what comes back to you.

My only point is – we don’t so much end up with a friend, rather we bring ourselves and all our flaws and fears to another, first. And then sometimes, as you say, a miracle occurs.