Original Six: Ugliest NHL jerseys of all-time

Throughout its storied history, the NHL has produced some of the
most iconic jerseys in all of sports. From the timeless look of the
Chicago Blackhawks to the famous Spoked-B of the Boston Bruins, a
number of hockey sweaters have been and always will be cherished by
the masses. Unfortunately, especially in the past few decades, some
of the league’s marketing gurus have been responsible for
some of the cheesiest and most hideous designs ever to be donned by
any professional athlete. We now present you with the ugliest
jerseys ever worn in the NHL:

6. Gone fishin’

New York Islanders (1995-97)

Since way back in 1849, Gorton’s has been cranking out
fish sticks and the like for the seafood-loving masses. For more
than three decades, their slogan has encouraged consumers to
“trust the Gorton’s Fisherman.” The New York
Islanders trusted him so much that they made him part of their
primary logo in 1995.

Shy of a few small alterations, the Isles’ jerseys
remained exactly the same for more than two decades after joining
the league in 1972. For whatever reason, they thought an
angry-looking spinoff of the iconic fisherman could lead them back
to glory. New York went a combined 51-91-22 during his two-season
run before tossing the fisherman overboard.

5. Dismal desert duds

Phoenix Coyotes (1996-2003)

They say that if you break a mirror, you’re cursed with
bad luck for seven years. Apparently if you move a hockey team from
Winnipeg to Phoenix, you’re forced to wear a jersey
that’s as ugly as sin for the same amount of time.

That’s exactly how things went for the Coyotes, whose
jersey only leaves us asking question after question. Why so
Aztec-like? Why so many colors? How come the dog — excuse me,
coyote — looks like he’s starring in an animal
rendition of “Phantom of the Opera”? Were these
actually seen on national TV? And most of all, who on earth
actually thought these were a good idea?

4. Abominable Bolts

Tampa Bay Lightning (1996-99)

Tampa Bay’s alternate jersey in the late 1990s was a
meteorological mess of epic proportions. Retail outlets who dared
sell them should have been kind to all potential buyers and
attached a sea sickness warning to every sweater.

The first blunder the Bolts’ duds made was yellow
lightning adorning the bottom half of each sleeve. The rain drops
streaking around the team’s logo were astoundingly
amateurish. Taking the cake, however, was the abandonment of
striping at the bottom of the jersey, which was replaced by a
dizzying drawing of a freakin’ wave. Thankfully these
monstrosities were tossed out to sea after three seasons.

3. What the quack?

Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (1995-96)

As if naming an NHL team the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim
wasn’t offensive enough, the franchise’s first
alternate jerseys — used solely during the 1995-96 campaign
— should have resulted in every last member of Disney’s
executive board being thrown in prison for both animal cruelty and
crimes against humanity.

Departing from their logo of a duck-billed goalie mask, Anaheim
went into full-fledged cartoon mode with some sort of RoboDuck
bursting out of the ice, creating one of the least intimidating
sweaters ever made. Throw in the cheesy font on the back and
it’s no wonder fans and the players themselves begged the
team to retire this wildly corny creation.

2. Nasty-looking ’Nucks

Vancouver Canucks (1978-85)

While most will think of the fictional Mighty Ducks whenever
anyone mentions the Flying V, Canucks fans likely will bow their
heads in shame, overcome by repressed memories of a sweater that
put the “V” in vomit.

In the late 1970s, Vancouver abandoned its blue and green colors
in favor of black, red and yellow, which came together to form a
v-shaped concoction that seemed to hang from the shoulders in a
gown-like fashion. The team’s logos were inexplicably placed
on the sleeves, while bright yellow replaced the traditional clean,
white look on their home jerseys. How these existed for so long is
one of the world’s greatest mysteries.

1. Repulsive retro

Montreal Canadiens (2009)

Some said they looked like men’s beachwear from the 19th
century. Others insisted they looked like prison garb. Many were
reminded of old-school, spinning barber poles. Whatever the case
may be, the Canadiens’ centennial sweaters — unveiled
in 2009 for one game against Boston to pay homage to their 1912-13
team — were universally ridiculed by the masses.

The red, white and blue stripes were simply dizzying. Worst of
all, the logo was a maple leaf (already belongs to someone else,
no?). If ever there was a throwback jersey to place in a time
machine and send back from whence it came, this was the one.

This article originally appeared in the April 2012 issue of
New England Hockey Journal.