Riff Raff To Sam Smith: “Your Face Is Super Huge”

This past Sunday, Riff Raff was Katy Perry’s date to the VMAs. They wore matching denim leisurewear, an apparent tribute to the outfits that Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears had worn to the show during the peak teenpop era, and they looked terrifying. Both of them were seated in the front row, so the world got to see plenty of reaction shots. Sam Smith was also sitting nearby, and Riff, Perry, Smith, and Charli XCX posed together for a few I-guess-this-is-what-pop-music-is-now photos. Smith made the controvsersial decision to post one of those photos on Instagram, cropping Riff Raff’s terrible fanged visage out of it, and he thus incurred Riff’s wrath. Here’s what Riff Raff wrote on Twitter: “THANKS FOR CUTTiNG ME OUT OF THE PiCTURE U CHUBBY LiTTLE FUCK FACTORY P.S. YOUR FACE iS SUPER HUGE @samsmithworld.” Seriously. “Chubby little fuck factory.” If I could be as funny as Riff Raff on Twitter, I would probably have an SNL writing job by now.

Isn’t Katy dating Diplo now? Riff Raff and Katy going to the VMA’s was just a way for Diplo to promote the only artist on Mad Decent that has an album to promote? (also the only artist on the label that he spent a lot of money for).

I wise man once said (I’m paraphrasing here) “Stereogum has become a place where any negative comments get down votes. And any positive coments get up votes.” Somewhere Cheap_Suit is smiling…..

That being said I purposefully went with disparaging remarks about this clown for a reason. I thought about what cheap_suit said and thought to myself “Time to put that little theory of his to the test. Cuz if anybody deserves to be ridiculed it’s this clown.”

And I gott tell you I’m really surprised at the down votes. I’m not upset by ‘em, just surprised. I really thought the Stereogum crowd was gonna be in damn near unanimous accord that this is someone that desperately needs to be made fun of. And it’s not that he’s “slightly out of the ordinary”. I love people that are quirky, maybe even weird. But this is a guy is a caricature and a minstrel.

And, as usual, I find myself in accord with LeMonjello. I don’t sense anger from any of the posts about this guy. More of an all around distaste towards everything he stands for

His behavior, other than this classless outburst is not and has not been, to the best of my knowledge, despicable. However, he is, without any doubt, laughably ridiculous to unforgivable levels. NOBODY should be THAT GUY. THAT GUY is a caricature, a joke AND the punchline.

At least Riff Raff ain’t afraid to be who he is. He’s obnoxious and whacked out, but at least he’s got an original, occasionally intelligent thought to say once in a while. Check out his other interviews if you don’t believe me. Frankly it’s toolbags like you who pass out judgments via keyboard while hiding behind the safety net of “class” and “culture” that need to wonder who the caricature really is. You’re literally the butt of every hipster joke. You are THAT GUY, just a different kind.

One more point, why does every douchebag on the internet A) assume that somebody saying something they don’t like is a hipster, B) assume that calling said person a hipster is some sort of “oooooooh he said that!” insult? It’s not. Also, you don’t know me. I’m a 42 year old grown ass man. Couldn’t be farther from a hipster if I tried.

And ONE MORE thing, nobody is hiding, just expressing thoughts, the same as you. To that end, I think that you’re defense of Riff Raff is kinda weird dude.

“Hipster” ?? 48 years old, steel worker at the same plant for 24 years. I’m as far from hipster as could possibly be imagined. I’m a real person with a real set of values. There are so many insults I could honestly hurl at myself. Caricature just isn’t one of ‘em.

This guy is a clown. He’s made his bones by being a clown. He may or may not be intelligent but none of us will ever get to find out as there’s no way to parce through his idiotic ebonics laced with white trash verbal vomit.

If you enjoy this guy and his work, great. But listen to him talk for 30 seconds and come away with any other thought than “When does the bearded lady come on?” and you are a better man than I.

Sam Smith just gained a fan. Not of his music, mind you, (Stay With Me is an amazingly unimpressive, boring song to have gained so much acclaim and attention) but just of him as a person. Nice normal smile, tongue remaining in the mouth, and cuts the shit portion out of the photo before he posts it because why the FUCK would he want to post a photo with that thing in it anyway? The right thing to do, good for him.

Sam Smith looks like the chaperonne at an MDMA party in this picture. O, and it is kind of hilarious that someone who self-identifies as a gangster gets upset when a young kid from britain cuts him out of a picture.

Solid, solid point. I personally think of Stereogum as a place where I can kinda “hide in plain site”. I live in a very redneck backwards area. I have a very right wing old skool job. The folks I work with are America’s got talent/American Idol/Shove That Shit Down My Faceholes kinda people. So I like to come here and read somewhat like minded people debating this, that, and the other.

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