Acceleration for the Young Gifted

By Inderbir Kaur Sandhu, Ph.D

Q:
We have a gifted 5 year old boy. He is in kindergarten at a
private progressive academic school. He taught himself to
write at 3 and reads at about 4th grade level and
comprehends at 2nd grade. He writes long stories and he is a
spelling wizard. He has most math basics under his belt.
Most of this stuff is self taught. He spends his free time
writing his versions of Harry Potter. He is a little
withdrawn socially but has progress a long way since
entering Kindergarten. He is still however spinning his
wheels in Kindergarten. He has mastered all the basics and
is not really challenged.

He is physically a tall skinny boy who looks about 7. He is
quiet but very mature and well behaved and he has a
composure and inner control that strangers are always
commenting on. We have just asked the school to consider
putting him in 2nd grade and now I am nervous about it. Are
we going to damage him?

It is a small school of 170 kids in k-8 and everyone knows
everyone. I am worried what people will say. Will he adjust
to seeing his peers still in 1st grade? I am so confused. We
spoke to him and he would love it but he has a very special
buddy and he is worried about missing him. This boy has
helped him develop confidence but this boy is also a little
bit of a pill.

This little boy is a year older than him and of the same
intellect but he is physically small and immature. I just
feel that the school is costing us a fortune and they seem
to only accept advanced children and gifted children and
therefore I feel they need to do more. Any input would be
helpful.

A: You son definitely needs to
be in advance class for is intellectual development but I at
the same time; I can understand your concerns, especially in
terms of his socio-emotional well being. What you may need
to keep in mind is that your son will naturally enter
puberty later than his classmates, which, while difficult
for any child for that matter, can be overcome with
supportive school staff and parents. Many factors have to be
taken into consideration here, for e.g., his maturity,
social environment (ability to socialize? many friends?),
independence, physical appearance (looks too young?
physic?), etc. These are not academic concerns but may
affect her socio-emotional well-being.

You did mention that he has been a little withdrawn socially
but has progressed, so you may want to make sure that he
will be fine with a new circle of friends. He is also
physically skinny, but his height surely makes up for his
physic. It's not surprising that his close friend is someone
physically small and immature, which probably gives him the
confidence of the upper hand.

Since he shows evidence of social maturity now, appears
matured and composed, it is recommended that he be allowed
to skip grades. Therefore, you really need to discuss this
with his teachers and if they feel he should be skipping
grades, it usually means that they recognize the special
ability and uniqueness in him and are trying to offer him
the best the school can offer. As you mentioned that his
school only accepts advanced children, they would surely be
able to advise you as to what they feel would be
educationally best for him. Especially if you are paying a
fortune for his schooling, the school should deliver.

Worrying what others may say should not be much of a concern
as it usually dies off after a while. Most importantly, he
appears to be fine with the idea of having to move ahead.
You may need to help him to settle in with his new friends
and get help from his teachers as well as perhaps some
parents with children in the same class. I personally do not
think holding him back is a good idea. Home stimulation and
support of interests are vital to the development of your
son's abilities. If he is not given the appropriate
challenges, he may burn-out. Do also get in touch with
parents support groups from your area; a gifted association
would be ideal. You would be surprised that just sharing
experiences with other parents can go a long way. Best
wishes!