They're absolutely imperative to the building and maintenance of trust. No relationship can survive without mutually steadfast trust.

When I was married, I think I was almost cooperative to a fault. Often sacrificing a tad more than I wanted to. Then again, I loved my husband, and I have no regrets.

Exactly! In order for a relationship to work, there has to be honestly because otherwise there is frustration and an inability to solve problems. It piles garbage up and then acts as a barrier to cleaning it up.

Sorry to have heard about the ordeal with your husband. Glad to hear you found it a worthwhile experience though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NowhereElseToGo

Don't listen to women on this one, because they won't tell you the truth. Also, the "confidence" advice is BS as well. You'd be confident too, if women threw themselves at you all day.

By watching females I know, and what men they actually choose to date, I have determined that you need:
-Good upper body
-Good car

Now, you will still not get all women, and you will date different women depending on other things. But if you don't have the two above, you won't date anyone at all, because you won't even get your foot in the door. My girl might say she likes me for my looks or brains or sense of humor, but if I didn't have the two above, she probably wouldn't have started dating me in the first place.

Hah ha hahahaha! Ok, I suspect some selective observation here. Sure, we may see those alpha males with the ladies, but they're also a lot more visible.

People are probably programmed to be attracted to individuals who complement their needs. Generally, they're probably more attracted to people who have a greater control of resources and a higher social value. However, this has more to do with personality than physical strength. Physical strength may indicate a lot of positive things, but the little guy who is a strategic genius and outmaneuvers and subjects alpha males to his will is going to be more powerful and therefore more attractive.

My recommendation is to model a personality of having a single minded ambition and being highly energetic and decisive reaching it. That kind of dynamic personality is charismatic and attractive to women. My experiences repeatably reinforce this claim.

It's easier just to work out a lot and be shy, and they'll come to you. Then you don't have to worry about saying the right thing, because it will just be easy and natural. If a girl likes you, she will let you know it, and will make it easy for you.

No way. Women don't go for shy guys. And that's why a lot of white men loose their girls to dark skinned guys. A man has to be a man. Sure of himself and be able to save the damsel in distress, so to speak. He can be ugly, but if he's powerful and knows what he's doing, that's a turn on.
I've had guys just sit there not knowing what to say because they're so afraid they might say the wrong thing. I had other guys talking to me, even trying to hit on me while I'm out on a date and if my date just sits there like dimwit. I married a guy of American/Italian decent. Hairy arms, hair on head falling out, tattoos everywhere. But you know what, I feel safe because nobody would dare to mess with me. And none of the girls I know feel attracted to a shy guy.
And yes it is true, women look at a guys' car. All of us.
As for upper body, I would say it's a matter of taste. Me personally, I look at guys' legs. I watch Kickboxing and Soccer all the time (which absolutely puzzles my husband. )

No way. Women don't go for shy guys. And that's why a lot of white men loose their girls to dark skinned guys. A man has to be a man. Sure of himself and be able to save the damsel in distress, so to speak. He can be ugly, but if he's powerful and knows what he's doing, that's a turn on.
I've had guys just sit there not knowing what to say because they're so afraid they might say the wrong thing. I had other guys talking to me, even trying to hit on me while I'm out on a date and if my date just sits there like dimwit. I married a guy of American/Italian decent. Hairy arms, hair on head falling out, tattoos everywhere. But you know what, I feel safe because nobody would dare to mess with me. And none of the girls I know feel attracted to a shy guy.
And yes it is true, women look at a guys' car. All of us.
As for upper body, I would say it's a matter of taste. Me personally, I look at guys' legs. I watch Kickboxing and Soccer all the time (which absolutely puzzles my husband. )

Actually, when I was socially inexperienced and shy, an exceptionally beautiful woman approached and flirted with me in class, and she connected me to her network of friends. They treated me like a royal baby, it was so awesome. They ordered my food for me at restaurants, took me shopping and paid for my items, drove me around town, listened to my absurdely abstract lectures, and invited me to their homes to watch movies. She said her initial attraction to me was her belief that I'm a genius, and she was incredibly patient with my emotional immaturity before she finally decided to make herself indefinitely unavailable to me.

Compounded with other experiences, I have learned that some women will go to great lengths with a guy who is shy, if they perceive him as valuable. For me that value was intelligence. However, when I was younger I was extremely emotionally immature and incapable of concrete discussion, and I am surprised that these women put up with me for so long. However, they gave me experience, which has been valuable for me to overcome my shyness and social ineffectiveness. It took me a while though, and a lot of hard work.

Actually, when I was socially inexperienced and shy, an exceptionally beautiful woman approached and flirted with me in class, and she connected me to her network of friends. They treated me like a royal baby, it was so awesome. They ordered my food for me at restaurants, took me shopping and paid for my items, drove me around town, listened to my absurdely abstract lectures, and invited me to their homes to watch movies. She said her initial attraction to me was her belief that I'm a genius, and she was incredibly patient with my emotional immaturity before she finally decided to make herself indefinitely unavailable to me.

I'm afraid you were immediately put into the "friends" category with this woman. I'm not trying to belittle your experiences, of course. It's an easy category to fall into and nearly impossible to get out of.

What do women look for in a guy? I know this is a question that will have different answers and opinions, but I am very curious as to how you all feel about this. How big of a role does intellect and physical appearance play in your attraction in a guy?

If I could figure out how to use my scanner, I could show you exactly what they look for when I upload my photo. Perfectly studly...
but since you cant be as wonderfully looking as I, here...
Hold your head and shoulders up when you walk (show you're proud of yourself with good self esteem)
Good Grooming, brush your dang teeth
work hard
be in charge but dont be over controlling (dont let her know it anyways)
save money,,,no, this isn't a point for getting a woman, its a point to remember AFTER you get the woman. Have your spending money/bill money/saving money A (that stays in your bank account that she knows about)/saving money B (that stays somewhere she'll NEVER know about),,,with he most emphasis on saving money B

I'm afraid you were immediately put into the "friends" category with this woman. I'm not trying to belittle your experiences, of course. It's an easy category to fall into and nearly impossible to get out of.

Yep and if he was more aggressive during those movies he would've had nights to remember until the Reaper comes.

I'm afraid you were immediately put into the "friends" category with this woman. I'm not trying to belittle your experiences, of course. It's an easy category to fall into and nearly impossible to get out of.

Sure it's an easy category to get in to and hard to get out of. My point was that attraction is more complicated for women than the big and buffy alpha male. This woman initially approached me and pampered me way too much to have not liked me in the beginning. A woman who suggestively touches you, chases alpha poachers away so she can talk to you, spends much of her time with you, is very open about her life with you, and goes through great pains to see that you are happy, with you having done very little to deserve it, sees you as more than just a friend. Infact, when I mentioned that I didn't go to prom because nobody would go with me, she jumped at the opportunity to say that she would have and wanted to the year after.

Ok, maybe she really saw me as a friend despite her actions. But none of my female friends would do so much for me, and the only women who would do that much for me are either my girlfriends or prospective girlfriends.