*Beatrice Montgomery* by the most amazing person in the world, HoneyDukesKid01

Either I had forgotten to set my alarm last night, or someone deliberately turned it off while I was sleeping. I mulled over the possibilities, and found that none of it really mattered. I woke up late regardless, and was therefore in an unorganized hurry this morning.

I had pulled on my sheer tights over my ridiculously long legs, buttoned up the shirt that had once belonged to my father and was therefore three sizes too large, and tucked it into the skirt that reached my knees, which all together made my 5’11” frame as shapeless as possible.

It wasn’t a concern of mine, as I was always told that attracting the right kind of attention and receiving none was better than attracting the wrong kind and receiving plenty.

I knew that I was at least five minutes late for breakfast, but I’d had to shower this morning and it was just so warm that I couldn’t possibly stop. My dark golden brown hair was sopping wet and dripping down my shirt and back, probably displaying neon pink bra.

My shoes had gone missing again, and I knew better than to believe that they had walked off into the sunset together. People often stole them, yet I was fine. I could slip around in socks and tights.

I was sitting alone at the Hufflepuff table, not quite feeling emptiness but I certainly wasn’t at peace. It was difficult in my house, as everyone appeared to be friendly with anyone but me—never me.

Hufflepuffs were supposed to be kind and loyal, and for the most part we were. But we were also terribly selective as to whom those attributes applied to, and I was lucky enough to live with the two cattiest girls in our house.

As I was shoveling bacon into my large mouth, I caught the attention of Howard Davies, supposedly one of the most attractive blokes in our year. But I didn’t notice—because I never cared.

“I don’t know what’s worse,” he mused aloud, attracting the attention of various people trying to hold back their laughter for reasons beyond me. “Having no mates, or just not realizing it.”

I spit out my pumpkin juice.

Around me, everyone was laughing at the clearly ‘hilarious’ situation. Sometimes I found these funny as well. After all, I was an outcast even in Hufflepuff, where all the supposed losers go.

I wasn’t naïve enough not to know that he was making fun of me. I almost wished that I were, so that my day wouldn’t be ruined. Davies could never see to that, however.

“You are under the impression that I am oblivious to life,” I told him flatly, fixing my expression into one of boredom. “How idiotic must one be to not know that they don’t have mates, after seven years? Even I’m not at your level.”

He narrowed his eyes at me, clutching his fork so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. I couldn’t help but count that in itself as a personal victory, for I had never actually gotten a rise out of him before.

“I see you’ve finally mastered the art of insufficient insults,” he spat, his square jaw clenching tightly. “Bravo, Montgomery. You’ve finally reached the mental capacity of a second year.”

“I always fancied myself a first year, actually,” I told him sweetly, batting my eyelashes, and appearing only to anger him further. Is this one of those cases where you kill people with kindness?
It’s surprisingly working.

“Really?” he asked, and I nodded smugly. “That’s absolutely repulsive.” He turned to a bunch of his followers, and a sense of dread filled my stomach. Was I sinking into the floor? No, but it felt like it. Did I want to be? Bloody hell, yes. “Montgomery, you fancy first years?”

My jaw dropped and so did several others. He had raised his voice, sending me a cheeky wink, and basking in what was mostly likely my complete social destruction entirely.

“It’s okay,” he stage-whispered, “your secret’s safe with me.”
I felt like my lungs were collapsing in, but I tried to remind myself that what he alluded to could have been worse. How many people would actually believe that? It was unlikely at best.

“You are such a dick,” I glowered, pulling away after having leaned into his ear. I didn’t want everyone to hear what I was saying—after all, I was sort of well known for my lack of swearing.

“What’s that?” he asked, his voice borderline yelling this time. “You what? You want to see my dick?”

We both knew that he was just trying to get a rise out of me, and I knew that I shouldn’t let it happen. The only reason I had even gotten through the years was because I had control, and it made me powerful.

He could try all he wanted, but I still had my pride.

“But Howard, why would I want to see that little thing?” I asked, my voice coated with sugary sweetness. Two could play at this game, and I was suddenly feeling very, very Slytherin. “We all remember what happened the last time. I couldn’t even find it!”

Gasps filled the entire Great Hall, and that’s when I realized people had been completely silent so that they could hear us interact. I caught the eyes of Remus, who was looking at me curiously—if not proudly.

I flushed a bright red, sinking lower into my seat.

“That’s hilarious, babe,” he spat right into my face. Did he never learn personal space, because he was invading mine—and I found myself not liking it. “We both know how eager you get to put me into your mouth.”

I was mortified when I saw a first year ask a third year what that meant, and even more so when the third year responded. The eleven-year-old looked absolutely disgusted, and I was as well.

“And we both know you eager you get, Howard,” I retorted, our noses only centimeters apart. I could barely breathe, I was so angry, and surprised, at myself. It was like an out-of-body experience. Surely this isn’t me, adding fuel to the fire. “You barely last sixty seconds. Downright pathetic, is what it is.”

“It isn’t my fault that you suck in bed and I want to get it over with as quick as possible, Beatrice.”

“Please, we both know that’s a lie.”

My hand was quickly leaving my sides to slap him across the face when the strangest thing happened—his lips crashed down on mine and his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

My brain couldn’t comprehend what was going on, except it kept repeating ‘Thief, Thief, Thief.’ Howard Davies had ruined much more than my reputation—he had stolen my first kiss.

I felt his tongue trying to force itself into my mouth, and that’s when I knew that I had to make a decision—either allow him to continue or stop him immediately. It should have been simple.

Beatrice Montgomery + Howard Davies = Hate

Not

Beatrice Montgomery + Howard Davies + Kissing = Confusion

I was about to make my final decision, after weighing the pros and cons—to which there were far too many on the positive side—when someone cleared their throat, and we turned to see Professor McGonagall, her thin lips pursed angrily.

“Fifteen points from Hufflepuff for that inappropriate display.”

I groaned.

Classes passed by in a blur, and before I knew it lunch had ended eventfully—for once—and I was daydreaming in potions, about a better life filled with hippogriffs and unicorns and Howard Davies’ head on a platter.

It’s a shiny silver platter, and I was planning on transfiguring him into a pig.

“Miss Montgomery, as you were clearly paying attention, can you tell me what is the effect of eating an Alihotsy leaf?”

I quickly snapped my head up to stare blankly at Professor Slughorn, discreetly wiping my chin to check for drool, and sending him an innocent closed-mouth smile. He was regarding me with disappointment in his eyes, and it made me want to snap my quill in half.

I’m supposed to be a model student, 'supposed to' being the key words.

“No? Fine. Can you tell me what a Bubotuber looks like?”

I continued to stare, trying to ignore the way the class was falling to hysterics. Sometimes, it feels like I was brought into this world for the sole reason of entertaining others.

“I’m really sorry Professor,” I sighed, sounding as sincere as I felt—which was a bloody lot. He shook his head, so I pouted my full lips to a pathetic degree, widened my icy blues eyes to a desperate extent, and watched as his face softened immediately.

Score.

“That’s quite alright, Miss Montgomery,” he offered me a small smile before silencing the class with a raised hand. “Just make sure it doesn’t happen again. Now, can anyone tell me a species of tree that can use its wood in the making of a wand?”

On the left side of the room, a very pretty redhead by the name of Lily Evans answered ‘hornbeam’ and I just shrugged before dipping into my navy inkwell and writing that down.

Honestly though, how could I have been so stupid? I had read our textbook over the summer, and this is only the basics. I could have easily remembered the information had I even one brain cell.
As I was scolding myself and pretending to actually pay attention for once—I’m a Hufflepuff, it isn’t like I’m going to seriously do it—a wadded up ball of paper hit me unpleasantly in the face.

Apparently, it was a note.

‘Miss Montgomery’
Seducing the teachers? Naughty, naughty. Are you shagging him too? The only way to rid you of your nymphomaniac ways will be to send you to Azkaban. Have a nice life
P.S.
Or you could become my sex slave
P.P.S.
Now I have inappropriate mental images in my head
P.P.P.S.
In my fantasies, your hair is darker. I suggest dying it
P.P.P.P.S.

I forgot the whole point of this note—emergency meeting tonight in my dorm room. Come after curfew, the password is ‘Naughty Nymph.’ Or, it will be. That is, if you dare