ezio auditore

All posts tagged ezio auditore

this is going to sound like an advertorial, and i swear on all i hold holy that it isn’t. recently, i was in montréal. it was a friend’s birthday, and a bunch of us went up there to celebrate in style. goddamn it, it is a magical city.

they have a store called ‘gamebuzz’ there. if you haven’t been, just go. just go there, because it is like a candy shop for grown-ups. i bought an ezio action figure there for $30. i couldn’t believe it! in toronto, if you find it, the same thing usually goes for about $45 or more.

i also can’t believe how friendly the staff are. i find a lot of places in toronto to be kind of rude. or weird – why is a girl buying action figures? ohhh wait, it’s probably for her boyfriend. montréalers are all ‘oh hey cool, i love this game. come back whenever’.

what is it about england that the video game industry is so gaga about? what powers do those strange, tea-drinking bastards possess? a while back, i wrote about how only in the uk could you obtain an ‘alone in the dark’ collector’s edition. i recently searched on ebay canada for it. no luck. you can find it on ebay uk, and mercifully they ship here. maybe i will do that.

now, i hear MORE of this type of news: the uk is getting a big, sexy ezio action figure. now granted it’s being priced at an obscene £199.99 [that’s about $320], but i would sell my soul to own this thing. it’s coming around the release of the new assassin’s creed: brotherhood game later this year. listen to this:

Costume:
– One creamy white coloured shirt
– One brown-colour cape with leather-like upper part
– Two grey-colour jackets with red-colour stripe (hat included in a jacket)
– Two brown-colour belts with metal-like buckle; sword and dagger sheaths
– One red-colour scarf put under belts
– One pair of brown-colour pants
– One pair of brown-colour forearm gauntlets where hidden blades can be put inside
– One pair of brown-colour long buckled boots

Accessories:
– One necklace
– Figure stand with Ezio nameplate and video game logo
– Three pieces of interchangeable posing palms including
– One pair of open palms (right palm with glove)
– One (pair of relaxed palms
– One pair for holding swords (right palm with glove)
– Each piece of head sculpt is specially hand-painted

i feel very confident in saying that while this is pretty, ezio wouldn’t be caught dead in it. it’s an assassin’s creed necklace. actually, it’s a silver chain with a bunch of game-related charms on it.

if you are so inclined, pick it up the assassin’s creed necklace on this british site. not sure if they would ship to north america, but it’s worth it to find out.

winston churchill said it best: v is for victory. recently, i agreed with him, after snagging the elusive ‘assassin’s creed 2’ action figure.

i have been searching for this man for months, enlisting friends, strangers and family in a quest that seemed hopeless. games store clerks looked at me with pity, saying they’d been sold out for months. a few sadly expressed regret that they themselves had not scooped up the collector’s version. big box store clerks just eyed me nervously, the way you would eye a rabid wolf who suddenly just appeared at a family campsite. the conversations tended to go something like this:

churchill is stoked about assassin's creed 2 action figures

obnoxiousgamer: ‘i am looking for the assassin’s creed 2 collector’s edition. the big fancy one. with the action figure.’
clerk: ‘we, uhm, could check the computer?’
obnoxiousgamer: ‘ok!’
clerk taps away
clerk: ‘looks like we’re sold out…’
obnoxiousgamer: ‘shit!’
clerk: ‘we could call you if one comes in.’
obnoxiousgamer: ‘i’m having a lot of trouble finding one, so that’s such a huge if. why don’t you tell me when?’
more keystrokes
clerk: ‘…oh, miss, it looks like we won’t be getting any more of this product in.’
obnoxiousgamer:pouting and sad face, then brightens. ‘what about the back room?’
clerk #2 materializes, clearly a game nerd.
clerk #2: ‘you’re looking for ubisoft’s assassin’s creed 2 collector’s edition?’
obnoxiousgamer raises an eyebrow and nods.
clerk #2: ‘ha, good luck. they don’t make it anymore. it’s been sold out for months.’

and so on and so forth. it was, it seemed, that all hope was lost. then i found a treasure in a downtown hmv. it was an xbox 360 version, and the only left. so i grabbed it, and also the brief attention of a male clerk, who seemed stoked to discover someone with good taste.

i called eb games quickly. ‘what’s your trade-in value for assassin’s creed 2?!’. i quickly learned i’d get $40 bucks for it, and it seemed fair to me.

same deal at the cash register, where another male employee was openly thrilled at my purchase. we started talking about it, and i was simply giddy at the thought of having accomplished a life goal. out loud, i chortled happily: ‘i just want the action figure!’

he rang me through quietly. (whatever. jealously is sogauche.)

after that, i pranced over to eb games, and announced my intention to get rid of the game. the female clerk seemed puzzled, and then we had this gem of a convo.

clerk: ‘you can trade it in, but you need id.’
obnoxiousgamer: ‘no problem. actually, i just bought it and it’s still sealed. does that change things?’
confused stare from clerk
obnoxiousgamer: ‘sorry. i just bought it, but i don’t want the game.’
[now totally stunned]
clerk: ‘oh you can return it to hmv…?’
obnoxiousgamer: ‘no no, i want the action figure. and i guess the tin is now mine too. ok, i mainly wanted the action figure.’
clerk: ‘uhm, oh ok, well you get $40 for it, but the game is pretty good, you know. it’s one of our best sellers.’ gestures to shelves which actually do scream out ‘eb games best sellers!’
obnoxiousgamer: ‘oh i have it for ps3.’
clerk no longer hides the confusion
clerk: ‘so… you got it for the action figure… oh, oh wow, you must be a really hardcore fan.’

BITCH, I AM A VICTORIOUS FAN. [but i was polite and kept that to myself.] anyway. i felt compelled to share that with you all. you’re welcome.