Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Amy's 21st

(should have been sung to the tune of "The Times are a-changing" but wasn't!)

Did you catch who was driving that sporty coupéThat flew like a rocket down our road today?I thought at the time it was Nelson PiquetAs the water continued to spray me.It wasn’t a Micra, compact and light greyBut I’m pretty damned sure it was Amy.

She’s bought a new car and it runs like a dream,She’s queen of the highway and reigning supreme.I tell her she’s held in the highest esteem –If I don’t she’ll undoubtedly slay me!She’s like a young cat who has just got the creamAnd now everyone’s jealous of Amy.

Whatever her sins, they do not include sloth,Twenty five minutes will get her to Howth.Her and her car, Jeez, I’m scared of them both –Wild horses, I’m sure, will not sway me.Don’t go to Hartstown, don’t go to RatoathFor fear you might run into Amy.

Lewis Hamilton phoned up to pay his respectsAnd to doff his peaked cap to the opposite sex.How many admirers that woman collectsContinues to haunt and dismay me.We poor mortal drivers are shivering wrecksWhen confronted by someone like Amy.

Her skill at the wheel has been loudly endorsedBy drivers of Beamers who often are forcedTo stare in dismay at her vanishing exhaust –She’s one woman who will not delay me!The speed gene in humans has yet to be sourcedBut its flourishing greatly in Amy.

She’s travelled the byeways from Dublin to Clare,By the time she’s set off, sure, she’s half the way there.The speed cameras click but they just snap thin air.“No speed cops will ever waylay me!”No wonder poor Neil is losing his hairIn the passenger seat beside Amy.

So gather round people, my story’s near done –Hairdressing’s the game if you want to have fun,Driving home like a bullet shot out of a gun,Can’t do that on the pittance they pay me.So happy birthday, Ms. Tyrrell, you’re now 21 –God, we’ll never keep up with you, Amy.

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About Me

I work in a warehouse which as you can imagine is very stimulating. I follow Shelbourne FC and football in general. Happily married for over 20 years to Monica with two great no-longer kids, Louise and Neil.
I mainly write humorous verse but have written serious verse, a book of essays, a novel and a biography. But still can't put up a shelf.