Introduction

Do you realize that every time you read a book without pictures you become a production designer, casting director, and costume designer? Hell, you can be a director if you want to.
Whether you know it or not, when you read a book without pictures, your brain fills in the blank spots. You can see the people, how they are dressed, which way they are moving, and what it looks like around them. Neat, huh?...
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Needless to say, “Porky’s” is not my finest hour. The production manager who was an old friend called me. He said, “I’m working on a picture called ‘Porkys Three’ – don’t say a word, it’s work. The writers changed the ending of the picture, and now they need a full fledged production designer instead of the local hire they have now.”

He offered me an obscene amount of money to fly to Miami, design and build a full-sized river boat that runs, has shootable interiors, and gets destroyed going under a drawbridge. I couldn’t resist. Would you?

The river boat being destroyed by the bridge can be seen here, about the 7 minute mark: