Morality in the Workplace

How to walk the business tightrope.

As a criminal defense lawyer who often represents celebrities in high-profile cases, the media does not only cover my cases but also very often writes about me personally. As a result, the fact that I am an observant Jew often finds itself into many news stories, even though that information is never relevant to the case I am working on. Accordingly, I have to be very careful about what I say and how I say it, as despite my stature within the legal community, to many I am still the "Jew" lawyer. If I win the case, it is important to all Jews. Regardless of whether I win or lose, however, I must act with grace and respect as my public statements impact all Jews.

For example, when the late Johnnie Cochran and I successfully defended Puff Daddy, one of the world's best-known celebrity hip-hop stars, the stunning verdict, an acquittal on all counts, was announced in New York late on a Friday afternoon. This was a fabulous professional victory for me, which I knew would be trumpeted by the media throughout the world. With Shabbat rapidly approaching, I left the courthouse where hundreds of reporters waited to discuss the verdict. I was very conscious of the fact that every word I said would be quoted all over the world, but also well aware that it was already very late.

I looked straight into dozens of cameras and said, "This is an amazing victory, and I am, of course, very happy for Puffy and his family. I know that following the Super Bowl, the winning quarterback generally announces that he is now 'going to Disneyland.' Well, ladies and gentlemen, this winning quarterback is going to synagogue -- Shabbat is coming!"

My leaving a press conference because "Shabbat is coming" turned a personal professional victory into a genuine kiddush Hashem.

I then jumped into a waiting car and sped away. Since that episode, I have been told by hundreds of people that my winning the Puff Daddy case was an important shot in the arm for Jews everywhere, but my leaving a press conference because "Shabbat is coming" turned a personal professional victory into a genuine kiddush Hashem [sanctification of God's Name].

Perhaps my situation is unique since not many Orthodox Jews occupy high-profile jobs that are routinely covered by the media. Yet I recognize that what I do and how I do it are often a matter of public discussion and scrutiny, whether or not I like it. Accordingly, even minor encounters or seemingly inconsequential episodes in my professional life can take on extraordinary significance.

Thus, for example, some years ago I represented the principal defendant in a major trial, held in New York, that was receiving intense daily media coverage. One news article that dealt with trial scheduling issues included the observation that the trial would adjourn at two o'clock on Fridays because "lead counsel Ben Brafman, an observant Jew, had to be home before sundown." To the average reader and even to those involved in the case, that passing observation was not significant. To some Orthodox Jews, however, it was far more important than I could have possibly imagined, as for months following the trial, people I did not even know would stop me on the street to tell me how my "public" announcement about not working on Shabbat made it much easier for them to explain observance issues to their own employers. To be perfectly candid, it never occurred to me that my keeping Shabbat would help others resolve sensitive issues in their own professional lives.

As Jews, our public behavior does affect others -- not just our family members but also other Jews we have never met but nevertheless to whom we have a responsibility. This holds true for all of us, not just those of us who make it into the press. One's personal conduct as a Jew reflects on Jews throughout the world, as we are viewed as "one" people by non-Jews. When Jews were herded into the gas chambers in Auschwitz, there was one line for all Jews. Differences between various Jewish groups may, unfortunately, be real within the Jewish community but to the non-Jewish world, we speak and act with one voice and are all viewed as the same.

A decision, therefore, to wear a yarmulke in the workplace, for example, carries with it an extra measure of responsibility. Giving up one's seat to an elderly person on a crowded subway is a rather ordinary act of kindness. When performed by a boy wearing a yarmulke or a religious girl dressed modestly, however, such behavior can make a meaningful statement about the Jewish people as a whole. Even simple acts like holding a door open for someone can be a kiddush Hashem when the person exhibiting this courtesy is announcing to the world, through his or her dress, "I am an observant Jew."

On the other hand, the boisterous behavior of a group of teenagers sporting yarmulkes can have a negative impact, as bystanders will question whether religious kids always act in such an offensive and obnoxious manner. In a world where anti-Semitism flourishes and where the State of Israel is increasingly isolated, we do not need to encourage more people to dislike us.

MORE HONEST, MORE CAREFUL

Those who openly display their Judaism have an obligation to be more honest, more careful, more courteous and more prudent.

Those who openly display their devotion to God and Judaism have an obligation to be more honest, more careful, more courteous and more prudent. A truly religious Jew must also be a law-abiding citizen and must act in a manner consistent with what one would expect of a deeply religious person. He or she must remain aware at all times that when a religious Jew takes even a slight misstep, it can be magnified beyond any measure of reasonableness.

An unfortunate example of this is when the media highlights unsafe conditions in an apartment building cited for hundreds of city housing code violations, and the "slumlord" is identified as an Orthodox Jew. Such a news story makes all Jews cringe, even when the landlord is not at fault, as in the case of tenant-created building code violations. Nevertheless, the damage is done, as the story hook that captures the media's interest is the "rich" Jewish landlord who allows "poor" tenants to wallow in misery. We are vulnerable as a people. This truth makes it incumbent upon all of us to be better at what we do and more careful about how we do it.

FROM KOLLEL TO WALL STREET

Thousands of young Jewish men and women spend several years engaged in full-time Torah study in yeshivot in the United States and in Israel, where they are exposed to the depth and richness of Judaism, but receive little or no preparation for confronting the challenges of the "real" world. Young people must be prepared to face the prospect of paying taxes, applying for credit cards and living within a personal budget. Similarly, they must be prepared to contend with the complicated application process required to obtain student loans, scholarships or research grants. These applications are generally submitted under oath, with severe sanctions imposed for inaccurate or false reporting.

How to respond to official inquires, what information to provide, how to obtain assistance that one is legally entitled to and how to refrain from applying for funding that one is not entitled to are all important issues that must be addressed from a legal as well as a Torah perspective.

Many young people are simply not aware of the serious consequences that can ensue when state or federal laws are broken or when regulations affecting ordinary business commerce are ignored, even when the intent is not corrupt. But having good intentions or being ignorant of the law is not a legitimate excuse for breaking the law, nor is it a valid defense in a court of law.

BAD BEHAVIOR FOR A GOOD CAUSE

There are some individuals who rationalize breaking the law for the sake of a mitzvah. From a halachic perspective, this is unacceptable; the Eighth of the Ten Commandments states "Thou shall not steal"; it does not state "Thou shall not steal -- unless you think you have a really good reason." From a purely legal standpoint, crime for a good reason can still lead to very severe consequences. While the motive behind a legal violation may, on rare occasion, impact on the severity of the punishment imposed, in most cases it does not help one escape prosecution or punishment.

In a case with which I am familiar, a young couple needing a place to live applied for government-subsidized housing. To qualify for the housing, however, a salary cap had to be verified as such housing is intended for those who earn below a certain level of income. The husband, together with a sympathetic employer, arranged for some "off the books" compensation as part of his salary, thereby creating the false impression that the salary cap had not been exceeded. Because of his naivete, the husband felt this kind of legal infraction was "no big deal," and the employer, who knew it was not right, really believed he was doing a great mitzvah. The number of complicated legal issues that arose when this scheme was discovered was staggering. It led to criminal prosecution with severe consequences for both the husband and the employer. Moreover, it forced many other Jews into the terrible predicament of being required by law to testify against fellow Jews or risk prosecution themselves. A similar situation arises when an individual who does not qualify for his company's health care plan because of a pre-existing medical condition purposely conceals the condition from the insurer in order to fraudulently obtain health insurance. This is wrong, even if the deception is committed in order to deal with a catastrophic illness. Indeed, all who assist in carrying out this fraud, although acting for "humanitarian" reasons, may nevertheless face very serious consequences because of an insurance industry that is generally unsympathetic, and a rabid media that devours human-interest stories that contain an extra measure of irony or sadness.

The "mitzvah" excuse often also carries over into the education arena. Thus, it is wrong for a private day school to encourage parents to provide inaccurate or even patently false financial information in order to permit students to qualify for government assistance or scholarship subsidies for which they would otherwise not be entitled. Is obtaining a good Jewish education for a Jewish child worth the risk of criminal prosecution? Obviously not. At the time the crime is committed, however, the focus is not on the potential consequences or even on the halachic ramifications. It is on how to accomplish the objective at hand -- how to skirt the rules, do the "mitzvah" and then rationalize the behavior so that it appears to be consistent with the principles that a religious organization is supposed to adhere to. The fact is that a lie for a good reason is still a lie. A crime committed to help oneself or someone else is still a crime --it is against the law and against halachah, exposing oneself to punishment in two worlds!

THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT THE ENEMY

Following the Holocaust, hundreds of thousands of survivors devoted to their faith came to this country where they found true refuge. Most of these new citizens escaped from countries where the government was indeed the enemy, intent on murder, with Jews singled out for vicious brutality and death. As a result, many of the children of these immigrants were raised hearing extraordinary tales of what their parents had to do in order to survive. In some cases, passports and identity papers were forged or obtained though bribery, allowing borders to be crossed and parents and children to be reunited. Under those circumstances, breaking the law was justified.

This "survival" mentality is at least in part responsible for trivializing the obligation to strictly comply with government rules. But we must understand and make our children understand that in the United States, the government is not the enemy. The life of the Jew has improved over time. It has dramatically improved in this country, and our children need to understand that they no longer need to violate the rules in order to survive. Indeed, our persistence as a pious, respected and learned people is dependent on our living by rules -- rules imposed by the Torah, rules imposed by society.

LOOKING AHEAD

You cannot be strictly observant yet pick the rules you live by.

You cannot be strictly observant yet pick the rules you live by. Torah Judaism does not allow for selective enforcement of halachah, nor does it permit the violation of secular laws.

Day schools and yeshivot across the spectrum must strive to address the ethical issues that our students will confront in the world at large. We must impress upon them that as Jews, their behavior in the public sector will speak for an entire people. It is also important that we emphasize the obligation of the Orthodox Jew in particular to behave properly at all times. It is not enough to be a good law-abiding citizen; we need to act with proper decorum, to be courteous and kind, to be a mensch at home and on the street in order to make a kiddush Hashem.

Finally, we must teach the next generation to be thankful that we live in a democracy in which all people are given extraordinary freedom and opportunity. We must be grateful to this great country that opened its arms to so many of our grandparents and great-grandparents, providing refuge, security, freedom, tolerance and for helping all Jews practice their faith without fear, and with great pride.

Reprinted with permission from Jewish Action, the official print publication of the Orthodox Union

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Mr. Brafman is the principal of Brafman & Associates, P.C. in Manhattan, which specializes in criminal law with an emphasis on white-collar criminal defense. He is a fellow of the American College of Trial Lawyers and in 1997 was selected by New York magazine as the "Best Criminal Defense Lawyer in New York." He was also the recipient of the Outstanding Private Criminal Defense Practitioner Award for 2005 from the New York State Bar Association. Mr. Brafman is a frequent lecturer and panelist on criminal defense issues. He lives on Long Island, New York, with his wife; they have two children and several grandchildren and are active in a wide range of charitable organizations.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 22

(22)
Anonymous,
November 6, 2014 11:18 AM

Law Government Lawyers and Judcial Corruption !

Where is the Morality at in America's legal system today ? , We tolerate Corruption and call it progress , We ignore questionable government activities by our corrupt bribe taking leaders such as gun control and prolonged detention and We accept violations of our civil and our constitutional rights . Why are we so blind to the evil that surrounds us Jews today ? The government is now serving itself of the people , but it is not serving the people best interests like it should be , republicans and democratic liars and thieves are what we have today running our country , rich elite bribe taking families . Our selfishness and indifference to the evil around US will lead US all to destruction soon if WE keep on just ignoring it ! . There is not a lawyer left here in America today who really understands the meaning of truth and Justice . Robbery is what America's courtrooms have become today and that is why American businesses are totally corrupt today also ! .

(21)
Anonymous,
December 24, 2013 2:26 PM

Thank you for inspiring me to make a kiddush Hashem in the workplace!

Thank you for your well written and motivating article. It makes me feel proud to be a Jew in the workplace, where I have an opportunity to make a kiddush Hashem constantly.

(20)
Anonymous,
March 8, 2006 12:00 AM

A question on a Jew's responsibility in the workplace

An interesting articel which I most defeinitely agree with. The question I have is what responsibility does a Jew have when they discover illegal activities within the workplace? Reporting these almost always leads to "persecution/discrimination" by/from management, particularly when management is the culprit. Is it more important to that the truth be exposed or should one rather avoid the so called suffering and believe that G-d will execute absolute justice?

(19)
jeff benjamin,
March 6, 2006 12:00 AM

a different point of view, shouldn't automaticly labeled attack

To disagree by supporting a position with facts is not cause to label a dissenting comment an attack. The flaw in the counselors presentation is the law is subject to interpretation and usually has varied application depending on the politics of the enforcing authority. The comment-- The spirit of the law-- vs. The letter of the law-- should invoke a cosmic discussion about-- intent-- which is the first principle consideration in kabbala

(18)
jeff benjamin,
March 6, 2006 12:00 AM

final comment for consideration

The history of the Jewish people is one of dissent concerning applications of externally proscribed laws. When all laws both divine and secular are administered with the absolute common good of all humanity, without exception or qualification, then adherence without questions may be possible. Laws are designed to control the behavior of society, given the current level of human consciousness, it would be a risky choice to not question the reasoning behind laws, their application, enforcement and punishment by a society that has as many problems as the current one, with basic-- intent-- as the motivation which produce laws and resulting benefits.-- Intent-- which empowers humanity selectively, is not divine and should not be become religious doctrine.

(17)
jeff benjamin,
March 2, 2006 12:00 AM

the lawyer practices a double standard

A condition of the practice of law allows for the defence not to disclose issues or information injurious to itself, I refuse to testify on the grounds it may be detrimental to my person, or words to that effect. The current standard practiced by our government appears to contradict the position of the author where as the very institution making the laws and enforcing them is guilty of breaking them for the purpose of the benefit of it's own position.

(16)
YoelYitzchak ben AliYankel,
March 2, 2006 12:00 AM

Attack on the author

So many people here have decided that since the author is a defense lawyer, he must lie in court all the time.
I guess most doesn't know that if a lawyer KNOWS his client is guilty, he is not allowed to "pretend" or mislead the jury into thinking someone else committed the crime.

Regardless, I am very saddened by the amount of pre-judgement & (what I feel to be)the amount of disrespect & rudeness simply because the author is a defense lawyer. [And, FYI, I work in a county jail so I've seen the sleeze & the good in defense lawyers, LOL.]

(15)
Wayne Hinson,
March 2, 2006 12:00 AM

what is the lawyer's objective?

When I read Mr Brafman's article, I immediately wondered about his own motivation as a lawyer. Surely not all those he defends are innocent. If he tells the jury "Yes, my client is guilty, but let me tell you why you should cut him some slack and go easy on him" then he is acting honorably in a profession known too often for its lack of honor. If, on the other hand, he attempts to deceive the jury into believing that a guilty person is anything less than guilty, then he himself is just as guilty, as an accessory to crime after the fact. Since I do not know Mr Brafman and am not familiar with the cases he has handled, I will refrain from passing judgement on him on that basis, but I would certainly appreciate a very frank and honest report from him addressing these concerns. I recognize that even guilty people have a right to counsel, but that does not justify subverting justice and making a mockery of the judicial process.

(14)
Daniel Z. Rosenzweig,
March 1, 2006 12:00 AM

Is this the correct forum?

While I concur with the author's observations and admonitions, I feel strongly that this very public forum is not the correct venue for this discussion. I think it wrong to give the impression, to a wide and diverse audience, that Orthodox Jews cheat the government and industry.

Furthermore, the author asks rhetorically, "Is obtaining a good Jewish education for a Jewish child worth the risk of criminal prosecution? Obviously not." I beg to differ. Yes, getting a good Jewish education for your child IS worth criminal prosecution - in the Soviet Union, Czarist Russia, ancient Rome etc. where the teaching of Torah was outlawed. It is not so much a question of criminal prosecution as a question of mitzvah ha-ba be-aveirah. Aside from the commission of the sin of stealing, and the desecration of G-d's name, what are you doing to the spiritual value of this Torah education fraudulently bought?

Kudos to the author for a well-wrought piece, but please, does it belong here?

(13)
Anonymous,
March 1, 2006 12:00 AM

CLEAR POINT - WELL PROVEN

This article by Benjamin Brafman is an article which I think should be published in every Jewish newspaper and be made known to all Jews everywhere. Just the amount of comments already on this article clearly states how much he hit home with this topic of 'cheating the government'. And if you notice, most commenters are defensive about this topic proving even more how relevant this topic is.
I do not understand any type of rationalizations for cheating the government (or cheating or stealing from anyone, for that matter.) In addition, I am not a lawyer or a defense lawyer and I still think people should not cheat the government and that here in the United States it is important and also, Halachically correct, to follow the law. You might say it is interesting for this topic to be coming from a defense lawyer, however who else knows the law as well?
And of course, when Mr. Brafman talks about Orthodox Jews who steal/cheat he is not saying ALL Orthodox Jews do this, but that there is a percentage who DO. Nobody is stereotyping or saying that everyone does it. Just that it is something to beware of.
I do not think that G-d wanted us to live in the U.S., cheat the government, and then spend half our lives in jail, missing out on important parts of life- like raising children or living in a community and spending time with family.
Yasher Koach for an excellent article on a very important and relevant topic.

(12)
Laurie,
February 28, 2006 12:00 AM

Human nature

The points raised by Mr. Brafman are quite correct. The way a Jew behaves reflects on all Jews; the way a religious Jew behaves, if its proper, can have the added benefit of interesting other non-observant Jews towards more observance.

But let's be honest. In every population, there are people who will behave honorably and ethically because that's the correct thing to do.

And in every population, there are people who will lie, cheat, steal, and try to take advantage of others because...we...there's a certain human nature in some people that makes them crave power or money (or whatever they crave), and they'll do whatever they think that they can get away with to get it.

And unfortunately, I don't see that there's any less of a percentage of such behavior in any sector of the population, including the Orthodox sector. Many of those individuals simply hide it under a mask of piety. But it's there, and we'd be foolish not to recognize it for what it is.

And we, Orthodox Jews, would be equally as foolish to delude outselves into believing that our lifestyle and beliefs keep unethical behavior out of our community.

(11)
Tamar,
February 28, 2006 12:00 AM

The question that came to mind in reading this commentary was firstly---did "Puffy" do the crime the author was arguing he did not, secondly that the point he makes below is excellent,
lying to achieve your goal, no matter what it is is wrong:

It [the focus] is on how to accomplish the objective at hand -- how to skirt the rules, do the "mitzvah" and then rationalize the behavior so that it appears to be consistent with the principles that a religious organization is supposed to adhere to. The fact is that a lie for a good reason is still a lie. A crime committed to help oneself or someone else is still a crime --it is against the law and against halachah, exposing oneself to punishment in two worlds!"

and thirdly that there is a haunting question in my mind as to whether the author is preaching a fact that he himself is in need of hearing.

I have often wondered how a lawyer can strive to defend a murderer, rapist, child molester, thief etc who is clearly guilty when they know they are defending a party who is worthy of judgment for their behavior and not getting off free due to the lawyers skills at questioning truth.

How does legal manuevering to get those guilty of crimes evade punishment line up with the principle of truth and consideration of others being preached here so well?

Further comments on this conundrum would be welcomed.

(10)
Gregory,
February 28, 2006 12:00 AM

Quote from a Rabbi

As one famous Rabbi said, "And know that you are being watched by an All-Seeing Eye, and heard by an All-Hearing Ear."

Can someone please mention who said it? I forgot.

(9)
sjhepner,
February 28, 2006 12:00 AM

People of the B ook...

Yes, we are perceived by the rest of the world as the people of the Book, and when we do not live by and model honest precepts.. we are seen as hypocrytes ...

(8)
stanley edwards,
February 27, 2006 12:00 AM

when bad people make good points

Mr.Brafman makes very valid points about what is permissible and what is not.Yet the fact that he is a criminal defense lawyer makes the point fall on deaf ears.His job is to lie and convince a jury or a prosecutor that his client is not guilty of what he may very well be guilty of.It is for this very reason that Hagaon Rav Moshe ztl was against pursuing a carrer in law.And this falsehood is most profound in criminal law.Trying to align oneself with the goverment is pure lawyer jargon and i believe ,as well as several colleauges whom have seen the article,that this lecture has more than its share of arrogance.

(7)
Anonymous,
February 27, 2006 12:00 AM

While it is obviously extremely wrong to lie and cheat, I must say I found it ironic coming from someone who defends criminals! I also thought this article was generalizing the "kollel" population to make it seem that they are all cheaters and liars, which is very condescending and also incorrect.

(6)
Avraham Turetsky,
February 26, 2006 12:00 AM

MORE careful is the key

As Mr. Brafman points out, we need to be not just as careful, but MORE careful, because all our actions are indeed being being truly scrutinized by those that see us.

We need to act beyond even an appearance of impropriety, not to mention impropriety itself.

(5)
j chana pombo,
February 26, 2006 12:00 AM

Great Article -- being responsible is important

Thank you for this fine article. I know that people notice my behavior as a "representation" of the Jewish community. Being responsible for our actions is important, especially for kiddush ha-Shem.

(4)
Anonymous,
February 26, 2006 12:00 AM

Finally

Finally, an article that exposes the truth about where we need to be. I am often amazed at the number of observant people whom keep Kosher, Keep Shabbat but otherwise are rude, or lack in the personal morals category. This article honestly discusses areas we must work on.

(3)
DAVID J. GLENN,
February 26, 2006 12:00 AM

taking issue with a particular point from Mr. Brafman

As a previously Conservative Jew who is now heading toward orthodoxy under the influence of my yeshiva-attending son, I read Mr. Brafman's "Morality in the Workplace" article with great interest. However, I must take serious issue with one of his comments -- that the media distorts and persecutes landlords who happen to be orthodox if their buildings have "tenant-created" violations.

I publish a community newspaper in south Brooklyn, Bay Currents, and we recently completed a series of investigative stories on someone who owns several buildings in Brighton Beach occupied mainly by other Jews and Russian and other immigrants. We published photos of horrendous conditions illustrating the literally hundreds of violations in his buildings, including holes in the floors and ceilings, broken staircases, and dysfunctional plumbing (while he mnaintains a plumbing supply business in the basement of one of the buildings!) His defense before he hung up the phone? -- The tenants caused them, or they wouldn't let him in to make repairs. Meanwhile, several tenants have filed police reports against Shpelfogel reporting threats of eviction and even threats against them physically if they dare to complain about the horrendous conditions. I don't know if Mr. Brafman would proffer "the tenants did it" defense if he were representing this man; I hope not, for that would further tarnish the image of Orthodox Jews, although as far as I see it, a man who conducts his business like Shpelfogel is not a true Jew, no matter how many times he attends synagogue or how glatt kosher he may be.(You can see the stories on our website at Bay-Currents.com)
Thank you.

(2)
alan jay gerber,
February 26, 2006 12:00 AM

kiddush hashem

ben's example should be exemplified by others in public life who must view whatever they do in light of das,din,v'torah.
anything less is a dereliction in their observance of the mitzvos we are mandated to observe.bein adam l'adam is equal to bein adam l'makom.
this applies especially to so-called orthodox politicians who exploit their positions for personal gain while parading their religious i.d. to justify questionable ethics.
ben's activities are truly a refreshing change from what i had encountered for many years from others who should know better.

I’ve heard the argument made that Jews should not buy German products, for example Volkswagen cars which used Jewish slave labor during the war. It is wrong for Jews to support German industries?

My cousin says we should just forgive and forget. I would like your thoughts on the subject.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The great rabbi known as the Chazon Ish once said that if a Torah scroll was found burning, and a man used it to light his cigarette, there is no Jewish law that forbids it. Nevertheless, doing so would show a lack of sensitivity. So too, Jewish law does not forbid purchasing a German car.

Regarding the "demand for forgiveness," people often quote the Bible that when one is struck, it is proper to "turn the other cheek" and allow that cheek to be struck as well. But that only appears in the Christian Bible. Jews believe in fighting actively against evil.

Almost all people are inherently good and so we should forgive their lapses. But some people are truly evil – for example, Amalek, the ancient nation which wantonly attacked the Jews leaving Egypt.

Over two millennia ago when Haman (a descendant of Amalek) was commanded by the king to lead his enemy Mordechai through the streets of Shushan, Mordechai was too weak to climb on to the horse. Haman had to stoop to allow Mordechai to use his back as a stepping stool. In the process, Mordechai delivered a vicious kick to Haman which obviously startled him.

Turning to Mordechai in bewilderment, Haman asked: "Does it not say in your Bible, 'Do not rejoice at your enemy's downfall?'" Mordechai responded that indeed it does, but it refers only to people less evil than Haman. So too, we have no reason or allowance to forgive the Nazis and their helpers. Those who scraped the concrete in the gas chambers gasping for air can choose whether to forgive the Germans. We cannot.

In 1977, Egyptian President Anwar Sadat addressed the Knesset in Jerusalem. Sadat was the first Arab leader to officially visit Israel, after receiving an invitation from Menachem Begin. Sadat had orchestrated the Egyptian attack on Israel in the 1973 Yom Kippur War, but after suffering defeat became resigned to the existence of the State of Israel. Much of the Arab world was outraged by Sadat's visit and his change of strategy. One year later, Sadat and Begin signed the Camp David Peace Agreement, for which they received the Nobel Peace Prize. As part of the deal, Israel withdrew from the Sinai peninsula in phases, returning the entire area to Egypt by 1983.

There are many tasks, jobs, and chores that we will end up
doing whether we really enjoy doing them or not. Many hours of our lives are spent this way. The late Rabbi Chaim Friedlander, of Ponevehz Yeshivah, used to say, "If you are going to do it anyway, do it with joy."

Train a young lad according to his method, so that when he grows older he will not deviate from it (Proverbs 22:6).

He shall not deviate from it - the child will not deviate from the method with which he was taught. That method refers to the way we are taught to adapt to life's many hurdles, struggles, and tests.

Education consists of more than just imparting knowledge; it also means training and preparation in how to deal with life. Knowledge is certainly important, but is by no means the sum total of education.

"A person does not properly grasp a Torah principle unless he errs in it" (Gittin 43b). People usually do not really grasp anything unless they first do it wrong. In fact, the hard way is the way to learn. Children learn to walk by stumbling and picking themselves up; young people learn to adjust to life by stumbling and picking themselves up.

Parents and teachers have ample opportunities to serve as role models for their children and students, to demonstrate how to adapt to mistakes and failures. If we show our children and students only our successes, but conceal our failures from them, we deprive them of the most valuable learning opportunities.

We should not allow our egos to interfere with our roles as educators. Parents and teachers fulfill their obligations when they become role models for real life.

Today I shall...

try to share with others, especially with younger people, how I have overcome and survived my mistakes.

With stories and insights,
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