Remnants vs. Grantchester

The icing on the cake of the Remnants season came in the
form of a near-perfect "post-season" match at Grantchester
today.
The setting was stunning,
the weather unbelieveably nice,
the opposition friendly,
and
the ground surrounded by spectators and passers-by.

The Grantchester Cricket Ground.

Having settled on a 30-over format,
we agreed to bowl first as our two missing
players were closer to the ground than Grantchester's were -
although strictly theirs were at distance "undefined" since they
didn't exist.
That decision worked out rather well,
as we produced a superb all-round performance in the field,
backing up tight bowling with top ground-fielding and some
excellent catching.
Seamers
Joe White (5 overs, 2 maidens, 1/7),
Robin Eddington (3 overs, 0 maidens, 0/14),
Daniel Mortlock (5 overs, 0 maidens, 1/13)
and Paul Jordan (5 overs, 1 maiden, 0/16)
all found immaculate lines,
but the real highlight was when our pair
of ultra-slow bowlers spent the middle part of the innings
bamboozling the batsmen with their extreme flight
and big (if not sharp) turn.
Richard Rex (1/39) found himself bowling to an off-side
cordon of slip, gully, point, sweeper, extra-cover and mid-off,
and would have had several wickets but for the fact that the
ball never seemed to carry to the increasingly close ring
of catchers.
The real star, though, was
Phil Watson (6 overs, 1 maiden, 3/21),
who dismissed both Grantchester's top scorers,
one stranded yards down the track
and the other
caught and bowled after hitting a straight drive that seemed
far more likely to decapitate the umpire than result in a
dismissal.

While
this fast reaction catch was our clear fielding highlight -
Geoff, the endangered umpire, was later heard mulling it over
as a potential Champagne Moment
[Which it eventually became - ed.] -
just about everyone had a good day out.
Andy Owen not only completed the above stumping,
but also kept his head take a top edge that he
could easily have lost track of;
Richard and Tim Cannings both took regulation chances with a minimum of fuss;
and Tim, Joe and Robin were all faultless in the deep.
With the total just 81/3 after 22 overs,
the main danger seemed to be that we'd rob ourselves of a good game,
a sentiment that seemed to be shared by the numerous and vocal
Grantchester supporters, who absolved us of any obligation to
sledge the batsmen by performing that duty themselves.duty themselves.
And the barracking did perhaps have an effect as some
cheeky singles (e.g., running a leg-bye after
the ball had gone straight to first slip)
and big hits did
bring the total up to a more respectable 113/7
by the time the innings had closed.

The scene just before tea.

During the delicious tea we overheard some of the
Grantchester players explaining to their disgruntled
supporters that they'd been able to
"defend anything over 130 on this pitch",
and so it was tempting to spread some counter-rumours
that "we've easily chased down anything under 160 this year."
Really, though, such mind games were surely unnecessary given
our top order's season records:
1. Tom Serby 293 runs at 41.86;
2. Tim Cannings 89 runs at 29.67;
3. Cam Petrie 27 runs at 27.00;
4. Dave Williams 101 runs at 12.63;
5. Andy Owen 109 runs at 21.80;
and
6. Robin Eddington 238 runs at 79.33.
Indeed, given how many eight- and nine-wicket wins
we've had this year, it seemed far more likely that we'd face the problem
of the middle order not getting a bat at all.

Jack Jones bowling to a Remnant (possibly Tim Cannings?).

All of which was, of course, terrible hubris,
the first inklings of which were when one of
said middle order rejected an offer of opening the
batting on the grounds that
"I've heard they've got a seriously quick opening bowler
and I'm too old to face him."
Both of which turned out to be true,
as one Jake Jones did for our top three in a superb
spell of 6 overs, 2 maidens, 3/10
(which forced a re-evaluation of our own bowlers' efforts earlier in the
day).
Still, once he'd bowled out his allocation, we would surely
be able to feast on the lesser offerings of the change bowlers . . .
except one of those, Martin Baker, bowled an
immaculate spell of left-arm spin (6 overs, 2 maidens, 4/10)
in which he dismissed our numbers 4, 5, 6 and 7,
two of whom were caught by Jones,
now odds-on favourite for man of the match.
Of our wonderful top order only Cam (19 off 15 balls)
and Andy (13 off 36 balls) made it into double figures,
and mid-way through the 23rd over we'd been reduced to
a pathetic 69/8.

Another wicket is celebrated.

The Grantchester players and supporters were understandably ecstatic
with each new wicket,
and it was now absolutely clear that we were losing,
with 45 runs needed off 45 balls with just 2 wickets in hand.
Daniel Mortlock
and Joe White
then settled on the
unoriginal, if clearly correct, strategy of defending straight balls
and trying to knock singles off everything else.
They were aided in this by the fact that we did finally get the loose
bowling we'd been hoping for,
the 24th over lasting 10 deliveries and leaking 15 runs.
And, just like that, all the pressure was off, the chase
eventually completed with three overs in hand as
Joe (14* off 13 balls) cracked a few dismissive pulls before
Daniel (29* off 27 balls)
hoiked a wayward delivery across the long boundary and into the river
to finish the game.
(Although the fact that it was a four rather than a six means he's
destined to be
stranded on a total of
2999 Remnants runs
for the next seven months.)

The early finish meant there was plenty of time to wend our way back
towards Cambridge, where we took up position outside The Blue Ball
(which was itself one of our most
regular opponents
until civilities ceased mysteriously in the mid-'90s)
and watched the battle of the dogs -
Rhodesian Ridgebacks vs. all comers -
continue as the light finally faded on the day and our season.