The Best Birthday Yet

You’re a parent. Maybe you have a child on autism spectrum or with other special needs. Maybe you don’t.

What do you think of when you hear the phrase “birthday party?”

Do you smile and think of your kid surrounded by friends for a few hours on a weekend afternoon?

Do you shudder and think, “Uh oh, disaster?”

Do you think something in-between?

Maybe you once thought one way, but now you think the other.

One of the first autism blog posts I ever read was about a disastrous birthday party. It was one of the “In Their Own Words” features on the Autism Speaks site. This had to be at least six years ago.

The author was Jess of A Diary of a Mom. I read it and nodded, the feelings familiar. None of Ryan’s parties had gone south quite like the one she described, but it recalled for me the feeling of dread that used to go with either hosting such a party or taking Ryan to one.

Would he interact with the other kids? Would he want to go off by himself? Would he want them to leave?

As time passed, Ryan still wanted to invite his full school class to parties a couple of years after the boys no longer did that. It forced us to get creative. It led to some amazing adventures in place of traditional parties.

Then last year, he wanted to have friends and family over once again. The highlight of the party was to be a backyard game of street hockey. He planned for it carefully, considering the teams and the rules. All the kids, and even some of the adults, took part. Nobody suffered anything other than minor injuries. The party was a rousing success.

This year, he wanted a reprise. He carefully selected a few friends that all like hockey. All were able to attend. Pizza was ordered. Hockey-themed plates and napkins were set out.

Married father of two, rapidly approaching middle age. Hockey has been a constant in my life since the age of four. I care way too much about most sports -- something that will become evident in these pages -- but I'm learning that some things are more important. My son has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS, ADHD and Asperger's at various points.