Failing to observe this approach has already been mined dry by Nike and Dove -- among others -- Adidas launched "Me, Myself," a girl power campaign that rings like a modern-day sports riff off celebrated femme manifesto Our Bodies, Ourselves. The campaign release, for example, is heavy-laden with buzz words like distinctive, inspirational, individuality, confidence and -- our favourite -- intimate portraits.

WNBA MVP Candace Parker lent her face to the in-store/online program. Members of the fairer sex can submit "real" stories about their training struggles and successes on the website (where incidentally, you can also "mix and match outfits"!); three entrants will become the face of "Me, Myself" alongside Parker.

Parker synopsized the effort thus: "[Me, Myself] celebrates women of all ages and athletic abilities and shows that despite our struggles we can achieve our impossible."

In short: A whitebread couple places an order at a drive-through, then the voice through the intercom offers them a Sprite, and they can't understand because he's got this high-pitched accent.

Then there is dancing, singing, arbitrary ass-smacking, and other things you don't want to be confronted with in the world outside Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (With the possible exception of ass-smacking.)

At the end, the couple finally realizes the voice in the monitor was asking, "Do you want a Sprite?", and they politely decline.

"it was actually more funny in hte beginning when i THOUGHT something funny was going to happen," said one uniquely profound YouTuber. Other responses were expectedly schizophrenic (with some fairly heated discussion about whether George Lopez's attorneys will be in touch), but hey, that's the crowd for ya.

The press folk representing Anheuser-Busch sent us a passel of teasers for this year's Super Bowl. Slapstick takes a backseat to dramatic setup; all punchlines have been saved for Sunday.

Here's three:

"Clydesdales: Generations," an American immigration story starring last year's heavy-hoofed underdog. (They're milkin' this bad-boy for all its worth. The Clydesdale appears in at least two more spots: one circus-themed, another featuring his old Dalmation buddy.) By Waylon Advertising/St. Louis.

- Mountain Dew brings the DEWmocracy slogan back for its new flavor, Voltage, which sadly brings to mind the vintage Volt, a green carbonated drink with a funny aftertaste. (It appeared, then disappeared, in the late '90s.) Subsite by Tribal DDB.