I'll leave you with this other gem I wrote after a day at the polls...

Multiple voters have expressed concerns that Barack Obama "owns all of the voting machines" and that by entering their precinct numbers into said machines we are in fact typing a secret code which erases previous ballots. Unfortunately I was not permitted to give the answer I'd like to give these people: "Shhhh... they'll hear you..."

For anyone remotely interested in my poll worker CSB, I'll leave you with an open letter I penned on the subject of Voter ID laws after a particularly grueling day of working with the public.

From An Anonymous Precinct Worker, An Open Letter to Each Ticked Off Republican Voter:

1. NC State Law does not require me to see a photo ID. Quite the opposite. NC law FORBIDS me from asking for ID unless the registration requirement has not been met.

2. Nothing you have to say on the subject will change point #1. The fact that you don't like state law in no way changes state law.

3. Insisting that I "need" to check everyone's ID means that you're not only obnoxious, but ignorant of the existing law.

4. You are not the 1st person to detail how you could attempt in-person voter fraud. Your ideas are not new, they are not clever, and they are in no way relevant. In fact they are quite stupid. Should you meet the existing requirement of correctly stating a name and corresponding address I will gladly give you the ballot of someone other than yourself, provided you wish to risk 5 years in prison on a felony conviction in order to move an election by 1 vote. If that trade off is worth it to you I'm happy to watch you try.

5. Complaining to me about the lack of a Voter ID law is the equivalent of complaining to the cashier at McDonald's about the cost of your fries: he had nothing to do with it, he can't change it, you're only holding up his line by whining to him. The only thing you have going for you is that I, unlike the guy at McDonald's, can't spit in your ballot before you eat it.

6. The place to voice these ever so important opinions of yours is about 40 feet away from me in the actual voting booth. If you were less angry and more intelligent you would have known that before you walked in. This knowledge would have saved us both some time.

7. The next time you feel it important to occupy some portion of my day by telling me what you think, please go to Hell instead.

In summation, you are not making any significant or profound points. You are wasting everyone's time. You are a self-important pain in the ass and we are laughing at you as soon as you are out of earshot. Please redirect this righteous indignation of yours into some worthwhile cause like feeding the hungry or caring for abused animals. I assure you that what you're doing now benefits no one, least of all yourself.

Lenny and Carl:For anyone remotely interested in my poll worker CSB, I'll leave you with an open letter I penned on the subject of Voter ID laws after a particularly grueling day of working with the public.

From An Anonymous Precinct Worker, An Open Letter to Each Ticked Off Republican Voter:

1. NC State Law does not require me to see a photo ID. Quite the opposite. NC law FORBIDS me from asking for ID unless the registration requirement has not been met.

2. Nothing you have to say on the subject will change point #1. The fact that you don't like state law in no way changes state law.

3. Insisting that I "need" to check everyone's ID means that you're not only obnoxious, but ignorant of the existing law.

4. You are not the 1st person to detail how you could attempt in-person voter fraud. Your ideas are not new, they are not clever, and they are in no way relevant. In fact they are quite stupid. Should you meet the existing requirement of correctly stating a name and corresponding address I will gladly give you the ballot of someone other than yourself, provided you wish to risk 5 years in prison on a felony conviction in order to move an election by 1 vote. If that trade off is worth it to you I'm happy to watch you try.

5. Complaining to me about the lack of a Voter ID law is the equivalent of complaining to the cashier at McDonald's about the cost of your fries: he had nothing to do with it, he can't change it, you're only holding up his line by whining to him. The only thing you have going for you is that I, unlike the guy at McDonald's, can't spit in your ballot before you eat it.

6. The place to voice these ever so important opinions of yours is about 40 feet away from me in the actual voting booth. If you were less angry and more intelligent you would have known that before you walked in. This knowledge would have saved us both some time.

7. The next time you feel it important to occupy some portion of my day by telling me what you think, please go to Hell instead.

In summation, you are not making any significant or profound points. You are wasting everyone's time. You are a self-important pain in the ass and we are laughing at you as soon as you are out of earshot. Please redirect this righteous indignation of yours into some worthwhile cause like feeding the hungry or caring for abused animals. I assure you that what you're doing now benefits no one, least of all yourself.

CSB time: I voted in NC.

Since I had spent the last two years in Africa serving in the Peace Corps, I wasn't registered, and I had no proof of address other than the post-service correspondence PC mailed to me at my parents' house.

When I explained this to the poll worker, he was awesome. He was like 'No problem, we can absolutely get you set up. I can't ask you for ID, but I can tell you if you have it this process will be a lot faster. So...fast way, or slower way?'

I thought that was pretty intelligent. I was going to pull my ID anyway, but that made it that much simpler. But when the wing-nut in line next to me saw me pull it and started yelling 'VOTER FRAUD!! YOU ASKED HIM FOR ID BUT NOT ME!!' I have never wanted to cock-punch someone so much in my entire life. The poll worker looked like he was thinking that too.

There's a time and a place for ID. But if you're already registered and there's a line out the door, well...that isn't it.

It's never, ever, EVER a Republican losing because they were less able to convince people to vote for them, it must be evil Librul deceit. It can't possibly be that anything the Republicans have ever done has had a negative outcome. Anything bad you've ever accused the Republicans of is moot, because somewhere a Democrat once did something bad. And god help you if you try and back them into a corner over mutually contradictory beliefs or the raging hypocrisy of the religious right, you'll find yourself playing a game of intellectual Calvinball.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Party Of Personal Responsibility.