FCC Lady Who Approved Comcast Deal Handed Nice Comcast Job

Federal Communications Commission commissioner Meredith Attwell Baker was so nice about letting Comcast buy NBC that Comcast offered her a job. Yay! We love happy endings! This must be a really good job, the kind that comes with a huge bonus for doing something like, oh, we don’t know, clearing the giant corporation over a tough regulatory hurdle, because Baker is leaving the Janet Jackson boob squad to take the position. Some people don’t like when this sort of thing happens, but those people should shut their stupid faces. Bureaucrats have to make bank too! And that’s why, at the same point in their careers, police officers should quit the force to go work for criminal gangs trying to help them escape the law. Everybody does it, right?

Comcast declined to comment, a company spokeswoman said.

Ms. Baker did not respond to several emails and phone calls for comment.

Huh? Why is that? Don’t they want to tell everyone how excited they are to be working together? It’s almost like there’s something wrong with doing a corporation a huge favor and immediately landing a cushy job with them.

If there’s one Founding Father this country adores, it’s Benedict Arnold, who had the sense when to stop doing public service work and cash in with the other side. George Washington, the poor bastard, was a chump. Arnold’s dedicated years working for the American public as a general totally absolve him of anything he did afterwords, right? [WSJ/Reason]

Well, hopefully she still feels just as Comcastic*TM when her husband dies in a nasty autoerotic asphyxiation tryst with a rent boy and her son OD's on heroin! That way when after she loses everything and decides to kill herself by shoving both hands into the grinder of an In-Sink-Erator*TM and bleed out she can think to herself, hey, at least I screwed America over for money like a common syphillic street whore that was driven into that life b/c my father molested me.

Rotundo_

Comgasmic? I think this goes beyond feeling Comcastic. That kind of money should put most folks in a perpetual state of bliss.

Not_So_Much

She dresses pretty conservatively for a whore.

http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

Looks like she won a GOP-sponsored shopping spree at Macy's.

MasterDebater

It's the wholesome-looking ones that are totally depraved kinkbots in bed. Always.

Thank god. I thought all these phone company crooks had to wear that little pink dress.

OhNoGuy

It is critically important for an old whore to be well turned out.

Don't ask me how I know that.

nounverb911

Is she taking over for Meredith Viera? They won't have to change the titles.

mavenmaven

The invisible hand of the free marketplace can be legitimately used by Republicans for masturbation as well.

Gorillionaire

A+

SayItWithWookies

That's okay — it's just like when corporate execs do something good for America, they're rewarded with government jobs. Oh wait.

TheSheriffsNear

Paging Upton Sinclair…

BloviateMe

I don't like you, Katie Couric's evil twin.

http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

My current options for internet providers: Cuntcast and AT&Tapping

memzilla

So this is how Skynet got its start.

bagofmice

I thought it had to do with the Microsoft acquisition of Skype. Sky.Net

lulzmonger

Not likely.
Odds of developing self-awareness in this case are doodly-squat.

Thurman Munster IV

Funny, but I didn't read anything about this on MSNBC.

comptoneffect

Kinda hoping that as soon as Rachel sees this post she'll put something together for tonight's show.

BaldarTFlagass

I wonder what it's like to go through life with no sense of shame.

Not_So_Much

534 legislators (Gabby gets a pass) seem to be thriving with this mindset.

Plus, Cheney is doing it with NO FUCKING PULSE (which is pretty gangsta, to be honest).

Sue4466

And also Palin too, with no brain.

anniegetyerfun

I'm going to go with "pretty fucking badass."

Rotundo_

You may have the occasional pang of guilt, but damn, it just washes down the drain in your marble shower with 50 nozzles directed for maximum pleasure and cleanliness. You might wonder what sort of world your kids will inherit, but those private schools really make a difference in getting your foot in the right doors. You might realize that money won't bring you happiness, but that 100 footer moored down in Florida distracts you pretty damned well.

baconzgood

"Ms. Baker did not respond to several emails and phone calls for comment."

We should all get a job with Comcast. We can tell them they we are going to show up "sometime between 9 A.M. and noon" and just show up at 3:00 P.M. and stay for 45 minutes and leave with nothing working.

WhatTheHolyHeck

Or wait until after 3:00 to cancel the workday out of the payroll system and claim it was never scheduled in there to begin with.

30 minutes is spent accepting personal calls on our cell phones and calling other employees and sipping from the Big Gulp, full of gin while we work.

elviouslyqueer

Our last installer was so stoned I could smell him from 20 yards away. And the sorry SOB didn't even have the decency to share. Customer service FAIL.

SorosBot

We can also have a secret stash of booze that we can use to become all pixilated at random times and become impossible to work properly.

sezme

You can tell she was qualified for the job, because she didn't qualify for Affirmative Action.

loulouroo

Yeah, um, no shit. And Billy Tauzin got a nice job lobbying for pharmaceuticals after he helped cram through the drug bill. Whores one and all!

phlox✔

It's the American way, right? They've (all) been doing this for years.
We're just inured to the blatant quid pro quo at this level of 'government'.
Things like this used to be a little more nuanced but these days there's just no need.
No one really cares enough.

OkieDokieDog

Douche bag is sexism!! She's a VAGWAD!

Gopherit

Mucus plug?

savethispatient

And they say the Government can't create jobs!

BaldarTFlagass

I could see this as natural behavior were she a holdover from the Bush years, but she was appointed by Obama. Way to make us pine for Colin Powell's son, Kable Kunt!!!

SayItWithWookies

Appointed by Dubya in 2009 — the last 20 days of the administration — according to ThinkProgress. So I guess she's ethically grandfathered. Be sure to count the silverware, FCC.

SorosBot

So that means Obama will be able to put in her replacement and the balance of power a bit. Does anyone know what the D/R spread is now? Hopefully we'll get more people who realize that saying fuck or showing a breast on-air doesn't actually hurt anybody instead of the prudes that run it now.

BaldarTFlagass

Huh, Wiki (I know not the most reliable source) sez "nominated for a seat on the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) by President Barack Obama on June 25, 2009." Oh well, I strive for Christ-like perfection, but when I fail to achieve it, I will so admit with Christ-like humility.

SayItWithWookies

A few links later, it turns out that both accounts are right. She was appointed by Dubya and headed the program to send out coupons to people to help with the transition to digital television, and then President Obama appointed her as the minority party rep to the FCC. Also, she's married to the son of Republican Fredo James Baker III, unimaginatively named James Baker IV. http://voices.washingtonpost.com/posttech/2009/12…

DustBowlBlues

Miss Manners says that Junior is used to denote a son named for dad. She goes on to say that use of III, IV etc. is just tasteless affection unless you're a monarch or the pope.

So fuck them and their affectation.

V572..whatever

Actually the rule is this. I am V572625694. My son is"V572625694, Jr" if and only if he has the exact same first and middle names. His son with the same name is "V572625694 III." When I die, Jr becomes just "V572625694," and his son moves up to Jr status. If III has a kid with the same name while I'm alive, he is "V572625694 IV," but that doesn't happen too often for obvious reasons.

Plus, as you correctly point out, it's pretentious bullshit.

Hope that clears it up.

BaldarTFlagass

Why not just call him V572625695?

horsedreamer_1

Is this prediction, or reporting?

I don't get Current on my gym's cable package — the only place I regularly watch cable, or tee-vee, for that matter — so I hope it's the former. & I hope it's… WRONG!

freakishlywrong

I'm not even predicting horse, just snarkin', but Republicans melt in the facty water, so I'm hoping not, and would follow Rachel anywhere.

http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

They don't even care enough to pretend anymore. The United States system of Government, the best that money can buy!

My disgust needle is pegged…

http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

Let's hope it ends just as well for her as it did the Pentagon lady who approved the flawed Boeing Tanker deal and then was fired/landed in jail because that's a (non sexual) happy ending.

MildMidwesterner

My telephone call to NBC has been on hold ever since it was purchased by Comcast.

Gopherit

Republican Federal Communications Commission commissioner Meredith Attwell Baker is planning to leave the agency for a job at Comcast Corp., according to people with knowledge of the matter.

Ah, in that case, completely understandable. Nothing to see here. Carry on.

BaldarTFlagass

Also: "She is married to the son of James Baker, who served as the Chief of Staff in President Ronald Reagan's first administration and in the final year of the administration of President George H. W. Bush."

Does anything more need be said?

mull_man

Christ she even looks like pops (aka father-in-law), except he had bigger tits.

SorosBot

Meritocracy!

horsedreamer_1

Like the hard-ass worker Koch Brothers, who worked hard being birthed.

But America doesn't have an aristocracy, because it's a democra- bwahahahahaha!

AnAmericanInTO

As someone who shares her first name, I am disgusted.

Of course, the way she spells it is the Whore way.

Sue4466

Never saw that coming.

Goonemeritus

Nice to see a sister getting her beak wet, why just a generation ago this kind of unethical behavior was totally male dominated. “You’ve come along way Baby”

RadioPlasticSurgery

You go girl, shatter that glass ceiling.
Andrea Dworkin and Mary Daly would be so proud.

lulzmonger

Smashing the glass gutter into a million pieces!

nounverb911

We'll find out June 20th when he makes his comeback.

DustBowlBlues

I take it he got out of his contract by signing one of those agreements that he wouldn't appear on another channel for a few months?

He might actually do some good for Current if his show gets more teeth than he could have on MSNBC. As I recall, he left Countdown about 40 minutes after the Comcast deal.

prommie

This is the ultimate success for a staffer, a toadie, a Smithers. Long-time staffer rises to appointed head of some agency or another, spends 3 years, then retires to corner office working for some major player in the regulated industry. Job duties: taking old friends who still work in government out to play golf. Thats it, thats the whole job description.

RadioPlasticSurgery

You forgot one big modern skill: Instituting metric based performance reviews.

FNMA

And the blowjobs. Don't forget the blowjobs.

prommie

Thats called "liaising."

El Pinche

FCC…yeah, thats one agency they can flush down the toilet (atlas squats briefly!)

Let's hope her boss expects her to fluff him before meetings on the expectation that she's used to that sort of thing.

JoshuaNorton

Meredith Attwell Baker was so nice about letting Comcast buy NBC that Comcast offered her a job.

The striking thing about this is she'll lie about why she got the job, and we'll all know she is lying, and she'll do it anyway. There's a point where actions tend to cross over from bravado into sociopathic illness.

http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

WTF do I know? I'm just another "hipster" that shops at 2nd hand thriftstores…

CalamityJames

Oh, so you're a foster child?

DaRooster

"Comcast declined to comment…"

Duh!

chascates

If something like that happened between Wall Street and the government regulators something catastrophic could happen!

Duly_Noted

Somewhere, the spirit of George Washington Plunkett (aka "Plunkett of Tammany Hall," who said; "I seen my opportunities and I took 'em.") is smiling.

guangho

Modern day graft has a certain adorably shameless quality to it, no?

SorosBot

Commcast/XFinity has been such an outstandingly ethical company though, with such upstanding practices as owning the station that shows most Phillies, Flyers and Sixers games and not letting dish networks or FIOS carry it, or the new XFinity ads where just by coincidence everyone only watches NBC shows, I cannot believe they would resort to bribery.

RadioPlasticSurgery

They must be on a Qwest.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

I'll withhold judgement until I see her naked on a roof.

DashboardBuddha

What.the.fuck?! I sell insurance and I had to sign a non-compete clause in case I leave. Why don't we have a rule that says that if you are a high ranking government official, you can't work for a company you regulated for 5 years?

Gold_ManSacks

You're asking why people who make rules and regulations don't pass rules and regulations that would prohibit them from making shit-tons of cash? I think it has something to do with the shit-tons of cash they stand to make.

DashboardBuddha

:::slaps forehead::: Sorry…I forgot what country I was living in for a moment.

DustBowlBlues

Exactly. I was thinking the same thing. The answer, of course, would be that one the government salary, we couldn't afford to hire "the most qualified." Like there isn't an un-or-under employed wonkeratti who is more qualified than this corporate cock sucking bitch.

OhNoGuy

Missed the obvious. Rules are for the little people and you're (NOTICE I SPELLED IT RIGHT) one of the little people.

So sit down and shut up. That's the rule for the new century.

Steverino247

Comcast declined to comment ON ADVICE OF COUNSEL.

/fixed

Gopherit

This is small potatoes……can we talk about corporate welfare giving our top 1% the tender mercies they really deserve? "Share prosperity, not shared sacrifice!" Oh, dearie me, that's just brilliant.http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/americans-shared-s…

BaldarTFlagass

I don't know how they get away with this shit in the upper echelons. Us trench-dwellers, if one of us decides to leave govt to go to work for a contractor, have to recuse ourselves from any kind of contracting activity or anything else having to do with that contractor from the minute the decision is made. If someone was involved with the award of a big contract (or even one worth a few measly million) and then left and went to work for that contractor, the Air Force OSI would be up their ass with a microscope.

http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

I'm considering getting out of the clinical psychology game. I would like to try causing some traumatic reactions for a change. Any suggestions where I could find some opportunities to pursue that passion?

RadioPlasticSurgery

I hear an FCC post just opened up.

ThundercatHo

Talk radio and televangism spring to mind.

flamingpdog

Jus' 'bout any job in upper level management.

James Michael Curley

Go into colorectal medicine and from behind the back of your patients mutter, "Oh my god, Oh my god."

DustBowlBlues

In your 5 bedroom Aspen ski bungalow. Because you don't want to suffer when you're on holiday, do you?

Gopherit

Bungalow. I want a fucking bungalow.

BaldarTFlagass

Nah, we proles just get it in the bunga-hole.

DaSandman

Ethics her ass. Bitch gotta eat.

DustBowlBlues

Let's pray for her ratings to be high. Maybe we should write her sponsors and tell them we're buying their shit bec. they advertise on her show?

Ed. note: between arthritis in my right hip (which never hurt before) and fucking up my right shoulder doing exercises I learned in fucking physical therapy, the right side of my body is in serious pain. Hence, the use of abbreviations. Just so you know I haven't gone all Grassley on your asses.

Awww, come on. You don't think there was a quid pro quo going on here, do ya? I wouldn't believe that in a million years…

neiltheblaze

Ethics, schmethics. This is America.

KeepFnThatChicken

So which commissioner voted for Netflix? Or should we prepare to watch another FCC vacancy come about when someone goes to AT&T?

DustBowlBlues

Am I just dreaming, or have we seen a bit of feistiness on the part of Democrats besides just Sanders and my pretend boyfriend, Weiner (D-Dreamboatsville)?

If this circle jerk isn't worth getting up in front of the 2 or 3 dozen people watching C-SPAN and making a Hyde Park Speaker's speech, then what the fuck is?

This would be a great issue to launch an Alec Baldwin campaign for [public office ].*

Fill in the blank.

Jukesgrrl

Hey, Beyotch. Ant-ny is MY pretend boyfriend. I'll cut you!

user-of-owls

George Washington, the poor bastard, was a chump.

Maybe, but I heard he had like, thirty dicks.

BlueStateLibel

Do the Chinese put up with this crap? I seriously doubt it, as I remembering some hanging over bad milk. That's why they're kicking our ass and will continue to do so. But have to keep the happy face on because we killed that pathetic old guy in his underwear last week. USA and all that.

http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

Actually, I hear the local government creatures in China are often rife with corruption.

like for instance the teri gross interview i'm listening to RIGHT NOW about for-profit colleges (see: bush admin created loopholes to allow for profit colleges to aggressively recruit / pay bonuses for recruitment, obama admin is having to clean up the mess).

but still!! we have a black man for president and he lets rappers visit the white house!!!! never forget!!!

MissTaken

"Ms. Baker did not respond to several emails and phone calls for comment."

Well, duh. Here cable modem went out and she has to wait until 3 Tuesdays from now sometime between 9 am and 4 pm for the Xfinity dude to show up.

Oh wait, that's me. Nevermind!

metamarcisf

Today's fave headline (Washington Post):

Oil Execs: "We Have Shackles On Us"

Gopherit

"Shared prosperity, not shared sacrifice!"

El Pinche

Good man and to the point! Warblogging ain't easy.

owhatever

How u spel hore?

DashboardBuddha

Thanks for the info, Dean.

anniegetyerfun

Fuck, I hate Comcast.

Jukesgrrl

Yeah, I wish I hadn't already quit so I could quit.

DahBoner

In that red jacket, FCC Lady looks a lot like Real Estate Lady…

Rotundo_

Different time, different place. High finance and bidness has re-entered the glorious wild west days with no fences or barriers (laws, impediments, strong hints that theft and murder are illegal) to keep them from prospering the living shit out of 'Murca. Once they rode tall steeds, now they ride mousy brunettes and Gulfstreams to fame and fortune.