Yana Rudkovskaya, Russian music producer, the wife of seasoned Russian figure skating bad bitch Evgeni Plushenko and one of the top 3 in “Russian woman“!

Russian figure skater Evgeni Plushenko has won 2 Olympic gold medals (including the team gold medal from Sochi) and 2 Olympic silver medals and he’s the only dude figure skater in modern history who has won 4 Olympic medals from 4 different Olympics, but he is still mostly known (served on gold platter of sarcasm) for being married to Yana Rudkovskaya, one of the “top 3 in Russian woman!” If the name “Yana Rudkovskaya” makes your brain shit out a stream of question marks, then slap yourself while driving to the nearest community college to sign up for a course in Top Russian Woman, because you need to be taught.

This delicate and modest white Russian rose married Plushenko in 2009 and had a son named Alexander in 2012. Since then, Yana has risen to the top of Russian Woman! AP reporter John Leicester talked to Yana after Russia won the gold in team skating and she spit out diamond-covered gold nugget after diamond-covered gold nugget.

On the black crocodile Hermes handbag she was carrying: “It’s a very simple and democratic brand.”

On the pink fur hat she was wearing: “Chanel, winter collection.”

On the grey coat she was wearing: “Louis Vuitton.” (She undid the buttons and peeled it off, to show the label on the inside.)

On being one of the most famous women in Russia!: “I am very famous. I am top three in Russian woman.”

On her son’s name: “Like Alexander the Great. The best name for a man in Russia. It’s very strong, also very lucky.”

John says that after she showed him a picture of her son on her Phone, she pulled off the iPhone case (which had a picture of Plushenko on it) and dropped it in his hand before saying, “For you, little present.” John gave the case back to her and told her he can’t take gifts from people he’s covering, but she kept on, “No, no. I have more.” When she realized John really wasn’t going to take the gift, she gave it to another reporter.

Yeah, yeah, I know Plushenko is the current reigning King of the Ice and the video of him crotch fucking the air while skating to Pony drops into my inbox every 10 minutes, but Yana Rudkovskaya is the one who should be getting all of the attention. She’s the real definition of modesty, she’s as elegant as a rhinestone clip-on ring on a swan’s clit, she’s more generous than Santa and she’s the top three in Russian woman!

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