Saturday

My simple but constant plea to divorce practitioners and policymakers, a mantra, is that we adopt a new standard in the legal determination of parenting after divorce: the “best interests of the child from the perspective of the child,” to replace the current discretionary approach based on speculation and interpretation; and a “responsibility to needs-based” orientation, to replace the dominant “rights-based” approach. A paradigm shift is needed: the well-being of children as they define it must take precedence over judicial biases and preferences, professional self-interest, gender politics, the desire of a parent to remove the other from the child’s life, and the wishes of a parent who is found to be a danger to the child.

What this implies is that first of all we adopt an evidence-based approach derived from research asking children themselves about their needs in the divorce transition, and then taking responsibility to reform our laws and public policies to address those needs. By “we” I refer mainly to those of us in the human services field working within social institutions that are meant to serve children and parents, but also to the community at large. Most simply stated, it is the responsibility of social institutions to support parents in the fulfillment of their parenting responsibilities to their children’s needs.

It has been only during the past decade that researchers have made beginning efforts to listen directly to the voices of children of divorce (and also parents) about their physical, psychological, social, emotional and spiritual needs. The picture that has emerged is dramatically different to previous studies based on “expert” interpretations.

I will not enumerate these needs, as it is the focus of my book, along with a proposal for a new “equal parenting” approach to parenting after divorce based on what children themselves have identified as their core needs. Instead I would like to provide a platform for the voice of one child of divorce, Aimee Nicholls from England. She writes about her forced estrangement from her father, but might just as easily have been referring to her mother, as judicial gender stereotypes also devalue mothers who do not conform to judges’ views of “appropriate” parental behavior. Here are selected excerpts from her message to parliamentarians, and the public, about the effects of divorce on children, and particularly the damaging effects of misguided child and family policies and practices:

“Hi there, my name is Aimee Nicholls, I’m 16 years old, and 11 years ago, my parents divorced. It doesn’t matter why right now, that’s history… It’s certainly not something that I wanted, but I also had no say... I do love my mom and dad both the same… My dad shared my care before my parents split.

Despite what people want you to think, I’ve learned that family law… works exactly how it was designed to work... It makes more money for everyone working in family law, and my situation is only partly resolved after 11 years of fighting... The system doesn’t like giving up, unless you’re one of the few families it allows to be different to “prove” that it’s fair. It clearly isn’t fair.

When I voted with my feet at age 15 to go live with my dad again, a family court judge, like all of the other ones before tried to force me to go back to my mum. And he told me I was too young to express my views to him… He said he needed social services to tell him what my views were. Think about that. I was sat in a court room at the age of almost 16, in front of him, and he effectively stuck his fingers in his ears and sang la la la. He ignored that I said that I felt at risk, probably because risk never really comes into it, unless it can be pointed at a dad to split him and his child up. More delay, more work for the system, more income, more funding. That’s what it’s all about. If you need a good reason to open up the secret family courts to the public, this is one. I bet the judge would not have dared say any of that to me if there were people watching. I was almost an adult, and I understood exactly what he was doing. His game of pretending to not be able to hear my voice was really disheartening.

It was horrible. Why would I want to go back to social services who had always misled the court about my views? They make it their job to lie, and to twist things, and this judge was just giving them another chance to do that. After 11 years of being involved, I would say it’s worse than it’s ever been at this point, right now, for kids... Ever since I started speaking out, I’ve heard from hundreds of families, and it’s always the same thing. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. For the politicians watching, the ones that want to believe all the lies; wake up. It’s worse than it’s ever been, and it’s happening on your watch. For example, the courts are still trying to ruin things for me and my dad. They stripped him of all his income, so that he can’t care for me. If they can’t force me to live with my mum, they’re just going to ruin it for me and my dad. That’s fine now, it’s fine for me, I go out and work, I’m 16. But why should we not just be left to live peacefully after all of this... Not every other kid my age is like me. They don’t speak out. More should, but they don’t. And that’s why the system can carry on…

The problem is, you can’t keep my generation quiet, and we will remember you... And those people will have to answer to us. And on that topic, I’d like to mention a few special people, who deserve to be remembered for making my life hell.

First of all, judges. I say judges (plural), not just one, because my family has been through a lot of different courts and different judges, and they all say the same thing. That’s not a coincidence. The only way that could happen is if the system is set up that way, and it’s set up wrong. I saw it myself when I made my own application at 15. The application doesn’t even cater for someone like a child… the judge just slapped me down and ignored everything I said... The judge just couldn’t care less, because it’s not what he’s used to doing, and he’s not meant to do that (i.e., he is meant to put me, the child, first).

Next, there’s teachers and school counsellors that I talked to numerous times when I was in school... Later they told social workers that I had never indicated a problem, or expressed my views. They are probably all still in their jobs abusing kids just like me.

Next, there’s the (family court) expert witness that made my dad sound like he was some kind of psychopath. Clearly he isn’t, but that doesn’t matter. This guy took a huge fee and wrote some rubbish to ensure that my sister and I would be kept from seeing my dad. And he’s still out there as well, destroying families, taking his large fees. I hope he’s enjoying the money that he got from destroying my life, and my sister’s life. She’s seven...

And, lastly, a very special mention for the (child welfare officer) who did everything in her power to keep me from my dad. From lying in the reports, to “losing” my wishes and feelings report… Also, repeated interviews which were not meant to happen. With increasing pressure until I told her that I wanted to live with my mum. I guess she’s still out there as well, destroying other children’s lives.

The system is completely broken. Almost everyone working in the system has some vested interest in what’s going on, and they’re making it worse. If it’s not money and work, it’s politics... The whole secrecy thing, it just makes it a 100 times worse. I personally think that would be one of the main things that would resolve this. Family law, and the courts, and social services and (child welfare officers) all just have too much money, and they use it to put pressure on the government to continue doing what they do. Nobody else’s voice gets heard. Politicians just need to stop this, and not in a few months, or two years, or a few weeks even. They need to do it now…

I want us all to be together, why can’t that happen? There’s no reason for that not to happen. You should explain it to me and my sister in a way that makes sense to us, because all we know is that we love each other, and we love our dad, and some pensioner in buckle shoes and a wig keeps telling us that it’s not in our best interest. I think family law is not in my best interest. And I think it’s time for it to go.

I’m Aimee Nicholls. Thank you for listening. Now go out and do something about it.”

Kruk, E. (2013). The Equal Parent Presumption: Social Justice in the Legal Determination of Parenting After Divorce. Montreal/Kingston: McGill-Queen’s University Press.

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Comment anonymously, call yourself whatever you want. Email addresses are strictly confidential, and providing one is optional (but will allow you to be notified of others’ responses and to dialogue immediately if you wish). This blog was viewed over a half a million times. For the public to be aware of procedural abuses, it has to hear about them. The blog author’s own story is here. Civility is the only constraint upon your speech.

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Stop Court-Ordered Parental Alienation

February 23rd

Obnoxious ‘Renegade’ Justice ~ Family Courts

The abuses of parents and children by Family Courts, social workers, and family law attorneys have harmed parents and children for far too long. We intend to end that abuse

Family court is designed by its makers to be probably the most dangerous life event parents and children can endure. It enables and profits from every inhumane instinct known to man—greed, hate, resentment, fear—resulting in abundant cash flow for the divorce industry and a fallout of parent and children’s misery.

And behind the curtain of this machine of misery we’ve uncovered its cause—the multi-billion dollar divorce industry, populated by judges, attorneys, and a machinery of tax-dollar fed “judicial administrators,” social workers that George Orwell would marvel at.

We’ve been delivering that message kindly for years now, yet the tide keeps rising on families in crisis. We’ve appealed to the county courts, state and local politicians, state judicial oversight bodies, United States Representatives, and just plain old human dignity, but the harassment and abuse of parents and children has only increased. A resort to federal court intervention in the widespread criminal collusion in state government was the next logical step.

It’s time to recognize Family Court for what it is—a corporate crime ring raiding parents and children of financial and psychological well-being, and devouring our children’s futures. And its not just divorce lawyers—its judges, “judicial administrators,” psychologists, cops and prosecutors—people we should be able to trust—in a modern day criminal cabal using county courtrooms and sheriff’s deputies as the machinery of organized crime.

Since state officials’ hands are too deep into the cookie jar to stop their own abuse, we’re seeking the assistance of federal oversight.

The present-day suffering of so many parents and children has and is being wrought within a larger system characterized by a widespread institutional failure of—indeed contempt for—the rule of law.

Family courts, the legal community, professional institutions such as the state bar, psychology boards, and criminal justice institutions have in the recent decade gradually combined to cultivate a joint enterprise forum in which widespread “family practice” exceptions to the rule of law are not only tolerated, but increasingly encouraged. Professional behavior that would only a few years ago be recognized as unethical, illegal, or otherwise intolerable by American legal, psychological, law enforcement, or social work professionals has increasingly achieved acceptance—indeed applause—from institutional interests which benefit from a joint enterprise enforcing the unwritten law of “who you know is more important than what you know.

In this lawless behavior’s most crass infestation, Family Court Judges are regularly heard to announce, in open court, “I am the law” and proceed to act accordingly with impunity, indifference, and without shame.

The effect on parents and children seeking social support within this coalescing “family law” forum has not been as advertised by courts and professionals—a new healing—but instead a new affliction: an ‘imposed disability’ of de rigueur deprivation of fundamental rights in the name of ‘therapeutic jurisprudence’ funded by converting college funds into a bloated ministry of the Bar Associations leaving families and their children with mere crumbs of their own success.

Many family court judges regularly administer such obnoxious ‘renegade’ justice every day, in open defiance of the rule of law. ‘Sober as a judge’ these days has a whole new meaning.

We need reform toward a more humane family dispute resolution solution

Many of our members are mothers, fathers, and children who have withstood abundant hardship resulting from the current practices of what is generally described as the “Family Law Community.”

These injuries and insults include fraudulent, inefficient, harmful, and even dangerous services; an institutionalized culture of indifference to “clearly-established” liberties; insults to the autonomy and dignity of parents and children; extortion, robbery, abuse, and more, delivered at the hands of eager operators within the divorce industry. ~~ CPRW Vid1 - 2016

World4Justice2016

It’s just not possible that intelligent lawyers like judges don’t understand exactly what goes on in their courtrooms, yet they allow it to continue.

This judicial collusion is far more serious crime than even the fraud of divorce attorneys themselves.

We need reform toward a more humane family dispute resolution solution. They’ve treated us as enemies of the state. When we thought we’d be welcomed, or at least heard, we’ve instead become targets of prosecution and terrorist threats. They've assaulted us, harassed our members including threatening “gun cock” and death threat late night phone calls, attacked our businesses, professional licenses, and threatened to jail and extort us with further crime.

It’s outrageous that our own government allows this to happen, and we’re asking the federal court to protect our members as we pursue the civil and criminal charges against the courts. A complete set of filings and exhibits is available from CCFC’s Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/ccfconline ~~ Grandparents and Grandkids World4Justice2016 ~ GR Vid2 -- www.facebook.com/Grandparents4Justice

Jury trials have been unlawfully eliminated as an option in family court by unelected adminstrators, leaving judges to do whatever they want and control the cases completely. The checks and balances of the judicial system have been removed and profit motives win by the gravity of money over decades.

Freedom of speech in the United States

“Will of the people the only legitimate foundation of any government, protect its free expression, our first object.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

"No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent."

“There are subtle ways and overt ways of alienating a child from a parent, but either way it’s evil”

Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.

Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.

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