Raising confident children and teaching your children to have self-esteem are not easy tasks. However, they are critical facets of preparing your children to live independently in the world once they become adults. Raising confident children is often easier for parents who are confident themselves, specifically because they have already witnessed the parenting skills necessary to instill confidence in children.

Building a healthy sense of self-esteem in children is part of raising confident children who can handle themselves in almost any situation that arises. Having a sense of self-esteem involves the knowledge of being loved unconditionally. Therefore, it is essential for parents to show their children that they love them unconditionally. Children who have developed a sense of self-esteem realize that they are valuable and worthy of their parent’s attention. These children should grow into confident adults.

Parents influence the level of their children’s self-confidence and sense of self-esteem through the manner in which they treat their children. Peers can also influence the self-esteem and level of confidence children exhibit. Therefore, it’s important for parents to teach their children independence and to have confidence in their ability to make their own decisions.

Confident children have the ability to encourage themselves to do the things that are difficult in life. They can offer support to themselves without having to look for it elsewhere. Teaching children to rely on themselves and not to look to their parents for guidance goes hand in hand with raising confident children.

Parents need to create a balance that provides their children not only with the wisdom they have learned over the years, but also the freedom to make their own choices. However, it is important not to allow children to have complete freedom in their decision making. Instead, parents should teach their children how to make decisions wisely. They should show them how to size up a situation as well as how to weigh all of their options. Parents need to teach children to look at different scenarios and make the best choice out of the ones that are available.

Parents should resist the urge to make decisions for their children. They should allow them some time to contemplate their choices. Even though you might be able to see the best choice clearly, they might need additional time to process all of their options and to compare possible scenarios and results. After all, they are only children.

Making all of the choices for your child destroys his or her ability to make any decisions on their own. Just as parents would teach their children to tie their shoelaces over and over again until they get it, so too they will teach their children over and over again to make their own decisions. Raising confident children is a gradual process.

Parents can watch the progress that their children make. However, parents should never suggest that their children are wrong, rather they should suggest gently how to make an informed decision. Parents should not hover over their children when allowing them to make their own decisions. This type of behavior sends the message that the parents do not have confidence in their children’s ability to make their own decisions. Instead, parents should guide their child gently from a distance.

Children often feel self-conscious or judged for being different and for not having the same material items as their friends such as designer clothes or the newest electronic device on the market. It’s up to the parents to ensure that their children continue to realize that not having what everyone else has does not make them less of a person. Parents need to give their children a sense of who they are.

Children listen to what their parents say about other people and use this information to determine what characteristics and behaviors they should or should not approve of. This in turn will influence how their children behave.

Parents should realize that the manner in which they treat their children determines at some level how their children perceive their parents’ acceptance of them as well as how much the parents respect them. This, in turn, influences their children’s sense of self-esteem.

It’s important for parents and their children to spend time together. If they have no relationship with their children, how will they be able to teach them confidence? Parents should ask how their children’s day was. Know something about their lives beyond the fact that they live with them, go to school, and get passing grades.

Do today’s parents know what their children’s favorite ice cream flavors are? Do they know what their favorite television shows are? Do they know what frightens their children? Can they list their children’s favorite subjects in school? Are today’s parents too busy to get to know their children beyond the five minutes where they sit and eat dinner together?

Parents should develop a good rapport with their children. If they have established a good rapport with their children, they are more likely to come to them when they need help. In fact, if the parents have shown respect for their children’s capability to make decisions on their own, their children will have no qualms about coming to them for advice. They won’t be afraid that the parents will take over the decision making process and therefore avoid them. Nor will they expect their parents to make the decision for them, rather they will look for additional guidance that either justifies their decisions or negates them.

If children believe that they are valuable, they can be confident in their self-worth. Children need to understand that they are capable human beings. It isn’t necessary for your child to be part of the popular group or to be revered by the popular kids. Parents should not allow their children to equate value with performance. However, children who do not have a healthy sense of their value and a good sense of self-esteem might fall prey to this belief.

Parents should practice problem solving with their children so that they can take care of themselves and manage the difficulties in life. Knowing that they have the skills to navigate through life’s twists and turns can help to engender a sense of confidence in children and is a key factor in raising confident children.

Are You a Pushover?

Would Nancy Reagan be proud of your ability to "just say no" or would you actually follow your friends if they jumped off a bridge? Being a pushover may make you more likeable, but it doesn't make you more respectable. Find out just how much you're willing to bend when push comes to shove.