Marloes Coenen has experienced a handful of losses during her nearly 16-year MMA career. She said none were more physically or emotionally difficult to digest than her shocking upset defeat to Alexis Dufresne at Bellator 155 in May.

Coenen (23-7 MMA, 2-1 BMMA) has twice shared the cage with Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino, falling short by TKO both times. She said neither of those losses, or even her Strikeforce title-fight loss to Miesha Tate in 2011, compared to the anguish she was forced to endure when 7-1 underdog Dufresne (6-2 MMA, 1-0 BMMA) caught her in a triangle-armbar submission inside the first round of their matchup earlier this year.

“It was really hard for me,” Coenen told MMAjunkie. “I’ve lost before but I’ve always had an excuse for myself. I never said it on social media or anything, but I always knew why I lost. This time it was really my own fault. It really hurt to my core. It hurt a very long time. Not only my arm, but mentally it hurt a really long time.”

Coenen will attempt to redeem herself on Friday when she meets Bellator newcomer Talita Nogueira (6-0 MMA, 0-0 BMMA) at Bellator 163, which takes place Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, Conn. The featherweight matchup opens the Spike-televised main card following prelims on MMAjunkie.

For previous losses, Coenen said she could justify the outcome to herself because of a medical condition she kept private. The Dutch fighter said she was diagnosed with a condition that stemmed from grossly overtraining in the lead-up to her fights, and the result would be a severe lack of energy when she stepped inside the cage for competition.

That issue was rectified in recent years, though, and Coenen said she’s felt better than ever going into all her fights since joining the Bellator roster in October 2014. That’s what made the loss to Dufresne so tough to digest, she said. There was nowhere to point the finger other than a deficiency in focus and technique in the moment where Dufresne wrapped her up in the fight-ending submission.

“I had an issue for about a decade and I never spoke about it because I would go see doctors and specialists and all that,” Coenen said. “After 10 years of searching I found the answer and it was just being overtrained. I had severe side effects from being overtrained, so when I lost in the cage I knew why: I had no energy. This time I have good health now. My cardio is great. This time I can’t say that. It was my own fault. That’s why it hurt that much.

“It screws up your liver and you’re very tired. When I was 20 you could get contractions in the muscles in my body and I couldn’t stop it. … It hit me that I wasn’t sick, it was just being overtrained. I changed a lot of things in my routine. Less hours in the gym, more rest, better diet. For Miesha, I was overtrained I had to diet to 135 and that was a very difficult combination. I never had energy to be in the cage.”

Although the loss temporarily crushed her spirit, Coenen eventually came out on the other end of it with a positive mindset. She’s managed to rebound from every career loss in a successful manner, and she intends on doing that again at Bellator 163.

“As a human being it helped me to grow, because when you have so much pain you finally learn,” Coenen said. “All the fighters have big losses. Ronda Rousey hurt her jaw, Miesha Tate lost her title to (Amanda) Nunes. As a person it helps you to grow and as a fighter it gave a lot of motivation. It was the kind of motivation I didn’t have for years because I’ve been doing this for 16 years on a professional level. Sometimes the motivation goes. I’m so motivated to redeem myself and that’s the upside of the loss.”

Despite the fact she’s moved on to a new fight and new opponent, Coenen hasn’t forgotten about Dufresne and her conduct both before and after their bout. Dufresne missed weight by five pounds for the fight then taunted Coenen afterward by claiming the weight advantage had no impact on the result.

Whether that’s true or not is up to interpretation, but Coenen said her business with Dufresne is not yet over. She wants the rematch and chance to avenge her only loss in more than three years, but said she doesn’t know if Dufresne is interested in trying to repeat her previous performance and prove the loss was no upset.

“They offered her a rematch and she declined,” Coenen said. “She has a really big mouth and I also think she knows it would not happen again. If I’m fighting someone and I beat the person and they want to fight me again, I will fight them. Then I will fight them until they don’t want to fight me anymore. She has a different mindset picking fights and stuff like that. She’s afraid of losing if she fights me again.

“In my carer, sometimes I fought a fighter three times. I don’t care. I’ll fight you until you don’t want to fight me. I think she’s very disrespectful to the game. She signed a contract saying she would be on weight on a certain day. If you don’t make it three times in a row it tells me you don’t have a lot of respect for the game, for the fans, for Bellator and for no one. Not for yourself as well. There’s still some bad blood between us and I hope I find her on the other side of the cage again.”

A rematch with Dufresne almost certainly won’t materialize unless Coenen can get the job done at Bellator 163. Her opponent, Nogueira, is largely unheralded and hasn’t competed in a pro bout since December 2013. Nevertheless, Coenen said she is taking the undefeated Brazilian seriously, because at 35,”Rumina” simply can’t afford another setback.

“After this loss the only person I wanted to fight was Alexis but she refused to fight unless it was for a title,” Coenen said. “Then they gave me this fight, and if I win I’ve proven myself again that I’m still a top fighter. That’s what I’m trying to do right now. I have my hands full. All that’s on my eyes in Nov. 4th and whatever happens I will look at the opportunities there.”

Check out video highlights from the first fight between Coenen and Dufrense above.

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