“The Hasselhoffs” debuted with back-to-back episodes on Sunday, and that was enough for A&E to decide that it didn’t want to do that again, as the cable network has pulled the eight remaining episodes from its schedule. The premiere pulled a paltry 700,000 viewers, with the second falling to half a million. Haha, more like CANCELHOFF. Zing.

So why did it fail? Best Week Ever, one of the few outlets bored enough to pay attention to the show, wrote about some of the show’s weaknesses.

The episode begins with what turns about to be the first in a long series of instances involving David Hasselhoff and his two daughters, Taylor and Hayley, yelling and talking over each other.

The “second” episode, which aired immediately after the “first,” shows the younger daughter moving back in to the Hasselhoff house after she was already living in the house during the “first” episode. So unless this is a show about some very subtle Hasselhoff time travel, they are already off to a terrible, terrible start.

They’re not kidding about the yelling, either. Check out the clips below — it’s just a cacophony of incoherent people shouting over each for no reason. It would have been a much better idea to just give the Hoff a handle of El Chico and follow him around with a camera crew.