If You Love Someone, You’ll Cook For Them On Valentine’s Day

When I got to Delish halfway through 2018, one of the first stories I was asked to write was an opus on why the strongest relationships revolve around eating a lot of food. My editor had seen me all up on Insta stories cooking with my husband, cooking for my husband, watching while he cooked for me, and documenting the process of us making ridiculous meals together. She thought there was something to be written about how food is the ultimate bond—and she was right.

And so, as my husband G-chats me about Valentine's Day, asking "is it boring if we just stay in and cook something nice on thurs," I've got more to say. This time, I'm here to tell you eating with someone you love is great, but cooking for someone you love is even better. On Valentine's Day—on any day—it's the ultimate way to show someone you care (oh, god, that was so gross, I hated every word of it as it was coming out of my brain and yet...it's true).

This, once again, is no shade toward those who prefer prix-fixe meals (with their non-options and rigidity 😇), nor is it to say anyone who plans some ornate scavenger hunt/activity-driven date night/proposal (AH???!!!) will have any less of a happy Valentine's Day than my husband and I, who will inevitably be too full and sloshy that night for sex! It's just to say that making food is intimate, special, and—by that logic—a perfect Valentine's Day choice.

You could argue it's not intimate or special to boil water, throw pasta in a pot, put whatever your preferred sauce is on top and stuff it in your face in silence next to the person you made it with. The reality is, though, you just don't make food with people you don't love.

[...Unless, of course, you're into walking into kitchens and making your favorite thing to eat among strangers or you are a newly employed chef in a kitchen with people who aren't quite yet your family—those are situations in which you'd do that.]

Even something as simple as making a meal that takes all of five minutes—eggs! sandwiches! leftovers!—is special when you hand it to someone topped with the perfect amount of their favorite hot sauce or heat it up for their preferred 48 seconds. The gesture of making food you know your partner will like, regardless of the effort it takes, isn't one you can replicate by paying for dinner or buying a pop-socket or a wine shower caddy or whatever it is you buy someone for Valentine's Day in 2019. Sure, that'll all make someone happy when it comes to their next Instagram post's engagement, but it will leave them empty emotionally and physically!! Pro tip: fresh-out-the-oven heart-shaped red velvet cake is not only good for Instagram, but it's also good for the soul.

Are you not convinced a low-lift meal is the most romantic way to go? Great! Take a chance and make an insane recipe you've always wanted to try but have forever been too scared to attempt. Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to spend too much money on groceries and fuck up some food in the name of love. Your person knows gnocchi is hard...and yet your hard gnocchi is proof of much you care. Not only will he/she/they eat that hard gnocchi, but he/she/they'll be so amped you tried to do something wild for them in the first place that they'll love it.

Also, let's not assume you're going to fuck up your gnocchi—your potato love children might come out so pillowy and perfect you'll be thrilled to serve them. You made those starchy babies. You did that. And you and whoever you're cooking for will be proud and excited and satisfied by the end of the night. All from food! Who cares about sex?!

Ideally, though, you're not cooking for someone on Thursday, but cooking with them. Suggest the two of you make something crazy together. Everyone knows it takes a village to help potato-piece infants grow into thriving and delicious grown gnocchi.

Or, seriously, just make each other pasta. And sit together silently while you slurp. It'll make everyone involved happy. And all I want is for everyone to be happy. You, anyone who cares about Valentine's Day, my editor who will read this and ask me (1) how many people read it, and, (2) subsequently, to write more things about food and life and love, etc. Happy Valentine's Day to every single one of you.

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