Now I wanted to address this for quite some time, but wasn’t sure how I wanted to talk about it. There are so many people out there that have these incredibly intimate marriages to different Gods.

This is not to minimize any of it, but this stuff scares the crap out of me.

I cannot fathom being married to a God or Goddess. Looking at my relationship with Loki I see Him more and a parental figure and mentor, not a lover and husband. Reading about others who are married to Him leaves me in awe at their experiences, but also scares me. What if there was a God that would ask that of me? Who would pursue me romantically and ask for my love and devotion in return? Is there a Deity waiting in the wings for the right moment to claim me?

I am happily married to my husband, after many bad relationships, and at least one domestic abuse situation. It took me 4 months to tell him I loved him, let alone anything further. My heart aches at the indecision I put him through, and opens to him completely. I am scared that a God would come forward and claim me as Their own, and expect a more intimate and all encompassing bond then the one I have with my spouse.

One of my fears is whether or not I would be able to give that. I have my husband and children who put a huge demand on my time, energy, love, and resources. I feel like I wouldn’t have anything extra to offer to a God in that way. To steal a quote from Bilbo in the Lord of the Rings, “I feel like butter that has been spread over too much bread.” Creating an active spiritual life is one thing, in my mind, but a marriage is something so much more. I give thanks for what I have, I follow the intuitive leaps I am shown, I leave offerings of my foods, drinks, incense, items I create and time to honor my Gods. I sometimes feel like I should do more than those things, but with three kids and a husband recovering from surgery, my time is limited. A small part of me is afraid that the responsibilities of being a mother and wife would be swept away if a God pursued me, and I don’t want that to happen.

So I guess what I am saying is that I know my relationship with the Gods I am being called to is growing and maturing, but the idea of marrying a God scares me. My mind balks at the idea of such a bond between me and any Deity, especially if it came at the cost of my family. Loki has told me He understands the loss of family, and wouldn’t shuck them away like corn husks and wrapping papers, but the fear still dwells in my mind that Someone else might.

And I know I wouldn’t be willing to make that sacrifice.

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About darkbookworm13

I am a proud mom to 3 beautiful girls, and married to the love of my life.
I have been a practicing Witch since the summer of 2003, having studied many different paths over the years, ranging from Wicca, Goddess only worship (courtesy of StarHawk), Eclectic Paganism, Kitchen Witchcraft, Norse Paganism, Hearthcraft, Spiritual Luciferianism, and more.
I have worked with the Futhark runes, Brian Froud's Faeries Oracle deck, Tarot decks, and I am currently working on a customized divination set based on collected items.
I like to work with herbs, and gardening. I crochet and make handicrafts like wood burned items, paintings, drawings, toys, and hand sewn doll clothes for my daughters.
The only title I call my spiritual path is Witchcraft, as using magic entwines deeply with the worship of the Gods who call me Their own.
My Patron deity is Loki, who has chosen me as His kin.

6 Responses to Godspousery

Don’t worry about it, it’s really not that common, and one deity might not demand as much from one spouse as another, just like any other relationship. But really, I know it seems like it’s something everyone is doing, but that’s the internet inflating numbers, it’s really, really, really not as common as some make it out to be.

Also, this is something you can refuse, to tell you the truth, I’d probably refuse too under most circumstances.

It certainly does seem to be more and more common as time goes on, but like you said, it is the internet. I had considered just refusing if the offer ever came up, but my biggest concern was how do you say no to a God? One of my friends on Facebook pointed out that the Gods would hardly force a relationship with an unwilling person, and that helped a lot. In my mind the refusal would be difficult to convey, and I was concerned about offending Whoever had presented the relationship. I guess the best way would just be honest, and refuse as politely as possible without insulting Them.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate all of the input I have been getting on this topic. Having a more “parental” relationship with Loki, and kin type relationship to others seemed to be less and less common as time went on.

I would assume you would refuse them in the same way that you would politely refuse a very important person that came to your door wanting something from you, something like:

“No, I’m sorry, I can’t do that at this time, because [insert reasons here].” “I’m not ready.” You get what I’m saying? Deities aren’t always on the same wavelength as humans, and sometimes they forget that many of us need things like affection from other humans, or sleep, sleep is a big one, and sometimes, we just aren’t able to accommodate them all the time.

That is not to say that we shouldn’t try to do things deities want, but there’s a line between “thing I can do that might be difficult for me to do” and “thing that I just cannot do at this time”.

To echo the sentiment made by Gefnsdottir, I don’t think you have much to worry about.

It truly isn’t all that common, as far as I can tell. There are a few authors that speak of such things, but I think their renown combined with the relative smallness of the various Pagan communities creates a false positive.

Secondly, I can speak for anything of the divine spectrum….but it is my heavy suspicion that Gods that desire such unions? Go towards people who desire it on some level…or, at least, have the space within their heart and life to accommodate them. Doing anything else is short sighted, and just asking for more trouble then it’s worth.

Thirdly…it doesn’t need to be common or uncommon. We are all a blend of common, uncommon, and rare features. What typifies your divine relationships will boggle the mind and conceptions of the person next to you. Trust the divine forces within your life to define the relationship as they need to, and disregard what is “ordinary”. Is that what spirituality is all about? 😉

Thank you both for your advice. I appreciate the input and suggestions. I think the worry was in part due to my husband recovering from so much physical difficulties, and having to care for my girls solo. I know that I wouldn’t be able to commit to something so sacred as being married to a God, and the nagging fear was just too much to ignore.

gefnsdottir: Your suggestion is definitely what I would be using if the situation ever arose. Thank you, talking about it took a load off my mind.

Harrison Hall: I have realized after writing this post that this fear was only made larger in reading about other people who were married to paired with a God. I have been working on just trusting that the relationship that I have will work itself out in time, and that since I am not looking to initiate a marriage to a God it will likely not happen.