Hot or Heavy

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Article Tools

I’m counting the days till my main squeeze comes back from his way-too-extensive Euro spree. It’s been weeks without a proper date-night, not to mention cuddling or any extra-curricular in-bed activities. Needless to say I’m overdue for some one-on-one interaction with my man. Can you blame me?

Of course, like any sensible member of the female species I’ve been using the alone time constructively, and hitting the gym every chance I get. I’ve been lifting, squeezing and squatting till my face turned purple, but my new personal trainer, Sabine, is relentless. Maybe it’s her German heritage, but she’s been yelling, and pushing me to the edge of my capabilities in a manner that would have made even a Gestapo officer proud!

I figure there’s a mighty good chance I’ll be extra trimmed, toned, and toxic for the return of The Biker. But why does it matter so much? With my 5‘10” height and 130 weight I’m anything but fat, and according to my Body Mass Index (BMI) I’m actually not too far from crossing over to the dark side as slightly ‘underweight.’ Not that I would ever let that happen. I can assure you that I’ll never be some anorexic toothpick, I simply love food too much!

I still find it mind-puzzling how, for us women, looks and body image seem to play a key role. Every girl I know can tell you exactly how much she weighs any time of the day, not to mention how much she’d like to weigh. I also know quite a few girls who will rudely cancel dates because they didn’t get to the gym that day, feel bloated, can’t find their favorite top, whatever. So to some people the distinction is clear: You’re either ‘hot or heavy’, ‘chic or sad.’ Yikes!

This is where you gotta love the blokes. In my experience - unless they’re French or Italian - most don’t give a damn! Also, I don’t think the average guy likes his woman to be nothing but skin-and-bones. This survey by BBC suggests that I’m right. For the record I look more like #1, but I can see why guys would go for #2. Curvaceous rocks!

How much does your personal appearance matter to you?

I must admit that I can be vain myself - to a fault. It’s the girlie girl in me that sticks her freckled face out, and I like to be all dolled up when I go out on a date. In my mind this requires shiny hair, sparkly nails, glossy lips and tanned legs. Admittedly, there’s something about looking hot for your beau, and when I can tell he also put some effort into looking nice for me, well that’s just grand. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t wing a casual dinner downtown in an old pair of Levi’s and a T-shirt.

This is exactly what I was doing Monday night after a hearty meal with Dana and her Doctor. We stopped by an uber-cool, Milan-inspired, coffee shop for a chai latte, when Dana eyed a brand new all-carbon Kona King Zinc road-bike by one of the tables. As it turned out the beauty belonged to the owner of the shop, Brian, and he was more than happy to engage us in conversation about its origin. He also invited us to join in the Saturday group ride and following lunch.

Brian: So for how long have you guys been riding?

Dana: A couple of years, now… We mostly ride crits, but sometimes we’ll go climbing on the weekends

Brian: (Suddenly looking at me). I think I’ve seen you ride with the group on Wednesday evening. You ride a blue De Rosa right?

Chassy: Yes.

Brian: Well, you look good on that bike, so if you feel like it you should come ride with us: You guys too (looking at Dana and The Doctor). We always welcome new blood, if you think you can keep up that is;-)

Funny guy, but he seemed genuine enough, and we gave him our emails so he can send us the group ride info for Saturday. As soon as we’d left the coffee shop Dana blurted out “That guy was totally into you! Why’d you flirt with him?” I was baffled; “What do you mean, I didn’t!” “You did too and you didn’t even mention The Biker!”

What should Chassy do?

Casually mention to my BF that we spoke, but not make a big deal out of it.

Unfortunately, she did have a point. I never mentioned my BF, but what was I supposed to say? “Hi I’m Chassy and, just so you don’t develop a crush on me, I’m going out with The Biker!” It’s not all that easy just slipping your marital status - in a relationship - in there when meeting a new, undeniably cute and funny male. I can only hope that I didn’t give off the wrong impression as Ms. Willing and Able, but I guess we’ll know on Saturday when we go riding with Brian’s group.

It may seem like forever - three and a half weeks! - since I last saw my BF, but communication has been good. And I’m not about to commit the ultimate relationship stab-in-the-back and start dating around on the sly. The only problem is that the biking community in SB is kinda tight, and everyone knows each other, not to mention The Biker. So there’s a fair-to-good chance that he will hear about our run-in with Brian upon his return.

Comments

It's presumtuous, to mention your boyfriend right away, if you think a person might be interested in dating you. But at least it's honest.

You were actually lucky enough to be in a situation where you could have brought up your boyfriend, by mentioning that he rides too, and Brian might know him. Brian may still be interested in inviting you, whether he is *interested* in you, or maybe he's just a genuinely friendly person. . . .Then again, there's nothing that says that he can only be interested in having you as a friend, until an opportunity opens up to date you--or he makes an opportunity. . . .

The thing is, you should flirt if it's in your nature, but be aware that you don't have to take it any further, and be mindful of leading anyone on by it.

I wouldn't stress about disclosure on this one to the Biker, unless it comes up on it's own.