Beats of the corporate Beast! R0b0tr0n offers exciting new careers in such fields as: multi-dimensional bomb- droppery, advanced turbonics, logistical metaphysics and diamond robotics. Come see which robots are right for you! Act now

So my good friends over at propellerhead software, makers of the popular Reason DAW, have sent me the newest version of their software, Reason 4, for beta testing. Propellerhead has made some serious upgrades to an already fearsome music production and synthesis program, and as you well know, the R0b0t ninja fears no programing but the deadliness of his own…

For those of you familiar with the new features in Reason 4, you already know that the son of Odin has come down from Asgard in the form of a digital instrument of god-like musical destruction. Indeed, the newest synthesizer added to the Reason rack is a powerful electromagnetic storm unto itself.
First of all, the digital Thor holds three hammers (or oscillators), instead of one, each capable of blasting its own form of light (about 5 different waveforms for each slot, including analog modeling and phase modulation). Thor also wields a tri-force of frequency mods (including one graphic formant filter), and LFOs.
Yea, beneath the surface there is more to behold: Thor can channel up to four external mono audio sources, each of which can be rerouted to any other part of the instrument. Lo, this routing can be accomplished via an intuitive patch bay located towards the bottom of His Interface. Indeed, Thor can reroute any of His internal machinations to any other, through a mystical process that causes my own R0b0t ninja circuits to resonate with power.
Below this, one will find the handle to Mojilner, the step sequencer, which can dictate anything from pitches and gates (notes and midi actions) to effects and signal processing. Like the Matrix combined with the Maelstrom, Thor embodies the 16 step progression as a sequencer and a sound sculptor. Remember, the patch-bay can reroute any signal inside Thor’s divine construction. This sequencer can simultaneously trigger and affect any filter mod, or LFO available.
Or effects processing—Thor also possesses a delay and a chorus effect, which, and I cannot stress this enough, can be rerouted elsewhere around the Norse god’s magnificent form. Make sure you can handle the implications of Thor’s sonic magnitude before you reach for that skyhammer though–your ear drums and neighbors will forever be in your silent debt, their houses left standing.
For the power of Thor is not to be trifled with—and those of you using Reason as a slave should know that Protools, Logic and Live are endlessly blessed by this sonic demonslayer. Thor repels the forces of darkness, seeking only to bathe its enemies in His divine light. As far as synthesizers go, Thor provides even the novice synth user with a powerful arsenal of asgardian power. Have no other god besides Him. Praise Odin.
But Reason allows us to have Thors beside Thors, duplicate deux ex machina in triplicate, if you wish. The only limit to the creation of these Gods of Thunder is your own twisted mind and processor–there’s nothing stopping you from cloning Thor endlessly to create entire thundergod squadrons, if you will. Thanks to Reason’s, at times unreasonable architecture, you can feel free to roam the realms of additive synthesis until the big bang reverses and spacetime is born once again. Such is the power of the one true Thundergod.
And let me tell you: as a robot who is also a ninja, I can’t tell you how often I needed but didn’t have the powers of several thundergods. Ordinary R0b0t ninja tactics, while effective, are not suited for god-battling. With the cosmic strength of a digital Thor at one’s side, the sun shines for you and you alone.
Nevertheless, the wonders of Reason 4 continue on, and therefore so must I. For you see, every week I will focus on other aspects of Reason 4 until it is finally released into the mortal realm. All praise due,R0b0tNinja

As CEO of R0b0tr0nics LTD., I am pleased to announce the development of the R0b0tninja interweb-log. The R0b0tNinja does battle on many levels, not the least of which includes pro audio technology. His programming is the realest–like the ninja of old, except that he’s half black. And a robot. It’s ok though, cause the R0b0tNinja feels just as comfortable in the depths of space as it does in the center of the Earths. And after unleashing a literal solar storm of digital audio, he feels free to kick it on levels from the astronomical to the geopolitical. But enough! He is programmed to speak for himself. Bertron, CEO

Indeed, many a government agent under my surveillance has caught the sun’s wrath–unfortunately, I can’t make a move without my R0b0tNinja Shogun’s direct command.
Anyway, here is a clip from my latest flick featuring me, the R0b0tNinja, as its main character. I haven’t had a chance to peep it, but I’m confident that the director I hired was right for the job. If it fails to impress you, death will be his only reward.

R0b0tr0n offers exciting new careers in such fields as: multi-dimensional bomb- droppery, advanced turbonics, logistical metaphysics and diamond robotics. Come see which robots are right for you! Act now