A few months ago, I had what could have been a terribly awkward and painful first date. When I described my angst over it, my girlfriend asked, “Well, did you DTR?”

“DTR?” I asked. “What’s that?”

“It’s a BYU term. DTR – define the relationship.”

No. I hadn’t defined that relationship before the date. Therefore, it was unclear and uncomfortable.

However, in thinking about DTR, I’ve concluded that, with men, it’s easy.

Either the chemistry is there, or it’s not. When the phone rings and the name lights up on the screen, you feel butterflies in your stomach, or, you don’t. Either you want to pick up, or you throw up a little in your mouth.

In general, DTR-ing is easy with people. They naturally fall into categories like “family,” “friend,” “colleague,” or “service provider.” Sometimes there’s overlap.