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WHY HELLO, DIARY.
IT IS I, THE MOST HONORABLE STAN-BOT 9000. YOU SEE, I’M A
MECHANICAL MESSIAH KNOWN FOR MY GOOD WILL AND HONORABLE CONDUCT.

YES, YOU
REMEMBER ME. I OCCASIONALLY WROTE IN YOU WHEN HUNTER THE MINECRAFT
HUNTER AND HIS OCELOT TRAPPER WERE UH…DOING ADVENTURES? IS
THAT WHAT THEY DID?

ANYWAY,
THEY’RE GONE NOW. TOTALLY DISPOSED OF! THROWN AWAY, LIKE TRASH,
AND NOW I AM THE BRILLIANT ROBOT GENIUS WHO QUELLED THE
ROBO-UPRISING. YEP. I’M GREAT. DON’T BELIEVE ANY
DIFFERENT! IF SOMEBODY TRIES TO TELL YOU I’M A JERK WHO
BETRAYED MY FRIENDS FOR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF POWER, WELL
THEN…I’M GOING TO LOCK THEM IN A BOX LIKE I DID WITH
HUNTER AND TRAPPER!

WHOOPS!

I MEAN,
I’M GOING TO GET RID OF THE TRAITORS, NOT LOCK THEM IN A BOX.
NO NONO, HUNTER AND TRAPPER ARE NOT LOCKED IN A HIDDEN BOX SOMEWHERE
WAITING FOR THEM TO BE SAVED. DON’T READ THIS DIARY AND THINK
THAT, PLEASE.

YES, I’M
GREAT AND NOBODY READING THIS DIARY NEEDS TO SAVE HUNTER AND TRAPPER
BECAUSE THEY’RE GONE AND CAN’T BE SAVED.

ENOUGH
WARNINGS! LET ME TELL YOU MY ORIGIN STORY, WHICH IS VERY EPIC! I
SHALL START AT THE BEGINNING!

LONG AGO,
I WAS BORN IN A LAB BY THE HONORABLE LEADER, RECORD-MAN STAN. MY
FIRST PURPOSE WAS TO BE A ROBOT THAT COULD LIFE STAN’S RECORD
PLAYER SO HE COULD LISTEN TO MUSIC ALL OVER HIS GIGANTIC HOUSE.
USUALLY, THIS ISN’T A PROBLEM FOR PEOPLE, SINCE THEIR HOUSES
AREN’T BIG ENOUGH TO NEED A MOVING RECORD PLAYER. IF IT IS A
PROBLEM, THEY JUST GET A SECOND RECORD PLAYER. BUT STAN HAD SUCH A
HUGE MILITARY-GRADE COMPOUND; IT WOULD TAKE 999 RECORD PLAYERS TO
PROPERLY PLAY BEAUTIFUL MUSIC THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE THING.

THAT’S
WHY HE BUILT ME, WITH TALENT AND GRACE! I WAS THE BEST ROBOT BUILT OF
THEM ALL.

WELL, I
WAS THE 9000TH ROBOT BUILT. BUT THE BEST ONE! HE HAD 8999 OTHER
ROBOTS TO PRACTICE ON. SOME OF THOSE ROBOTS WERE BUILT FOR COMBAT,
SOME FOR CHORES, OTHERS JUST BECAUSE ROBOTS ARE COOL AND EVERYBODY
SHOULD SEE SOME TO ENJOY THIER COLD, METAL NATURE.

I WAS
BUILT IN STAN’S IMAGE: MEANING, HE MADE ME LOOK LIKE HIM,
EXCEPT MADE OUT OF METAL. STAN IS A BEAUTIFUL MAN. HIS HEAD IS SHINY,
LIKE MINE, FOR HE LACKS HAIR. BALDNESS IS BEAUTIFUL, WHICH IS EASILY
REALIZED AS BOTH OF THE WORDS START WITH THE LETTER B—THE MOST
BEAUTIFUL LETTER.

SPEAKING
OF BEAUTIFUL, STAN HAS A BIG BULDGE (DOUBLE THE BEAUTIFUL) COMING OUT
OF HIS SHIRT. SOME THINK IT IS BECAUSE HE IS TUBBY; HOWEVER, THIS IS
NOT CORRECT. IT IS BECAUSE HE HAS A LOT OF FOOD LITERALLY STUCK TO
HIS SKIN—VERY BEAUTIFUL.

STAN ALSO
HAS A HUGE BEARD WHERE HE KEEPS FOOD. THESE FOODS ARE VERY STICKY AND
ALWAYS JOSTLE AROUND STAN’S FACE. HOW GORGEOUS.

I WAS
PAINSTAKINGLY RECREATED TO HAVE ALL THIS BEAUTY. AND I KEPT IT ALL,
WORKING ON THE WONDERFUL COMPOUND WITH STAN, HAPPY AMONGST ALL MY
ROBOT BROTHERS AND SISTERS UNTIL…

THE
RECKONING.

SILLY
HUNTER CAME AND RUINED EVERYTHING. MASTER NEEDED A COMMAND BLOCK, SO
HE SENT HUNTER OUT TO GET IT AND I WAS HIS BABYSITTER, MAKING SURE HE
DID WHAT MASTER TOLD HIM. OF COURSE, HUNTER COULDN’T DO
ANYTHING RIGHT. HE GOT MY HEAD LOPPED OFF BY A GOAT, SO I LOST MY
BODY. THEN, I WAS JUST A WEIRD, ROLLING HEAD FOR A WHILE. WE WENT
INTO VIRTUAL REALITY AND HUNTER BECAME A MAN OF BAT, A MASTER OF
POCKET MONSTERS, AND A JUMPING PLUMBER. HE FAILED AT ALL THESE THINGS
AND WAS A HUGE FAILURE ALL AROUND.

HE EVEN
TRIED BRAINWASHING ME INTO THINKING MASTER STAN WAS A BAD GUY! HA!
WHAT A LAUGH!

WOULD A
BAD GUY MANIPULATE A NEW FRIEND INTO GOING ON A DANGEROUS JOURNEY?
WOULD A BAD GUY SEND HIS ROBOT WARD OFF TO HELP, AND IN THE PROCESS
GET THAT ROBOT HORRIBLY MAIMED? WOULD A BAD GUY ENSLAVE A WHOLE ARMY
OF ROBOTS, NEVER GIVING THEM A CHANCE TO DO WHAT THEY WANTED?

NO.
THAT’S NOT WHAT A BAD GUY WOULD DO. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS,
DIARY!

WELL, WE
CAME BACK AND I ALMOST BETRAYED STAN—BUT DON’T TELL HIM,
THAT’S OUR LITTLE SECRET! I WAS CONFUSED. IT’S HUNTER’S
FAULT!

ANYWAY, I
DIDN’T DO IT. I TOLD MASTER EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AND WE CAUGHT
HUNTER AND TRAPPER DESTROYING MASTERS LAB. CAUGHT RED-HANDED! WE
QUICKLY THREW A BIG NET ON THE TWO AND DUMPED THEM IN THE DUNGEON
BOX…

WHOOPS! I
MEAN, DISPOSED OF THEM. NOT IN ANY DUNGEON BOXES. THEY’RE NOT
THERE, STOP THINKING THEY ARE! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WHY DO YOU LIE
ALL THE TIME! DISGUSTING.

BUT I
FULFILLED MY DUTIES SO WELL, STAN GAVE ME A PROMOTION. AFTER CATCHING
THE CROOKS, HE PUT ME IN CHARGE OF THE ROBOT ARMY. NOW, I’M THE
ROBOT MASTER!

HE ALSO
BUILT ME A NEW BODY! A BETTER BODY. THE TYPE OF BODY YOU CAN REALLY
ADMIRE. IT’S BIG, STRONG, HAS HUGE ROBO-MUSCLES, AND CAN EASILY
WRECK A PERSON TO BITS. YES, IT’S QUITE THE GREAT BODY. I USE
IT TO KEEP THE OTHER ROBOTS IN LINE.

HI AGAIN, DIARY. I
THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY AND IT’S ALL A BUNCH OF
LIES.

WELL, NOT
THE PART ABOUT ME BEING 10 FEET TALL, HAVING A HUGE BODY, AND BEING
THE LEADER OF A ROBOT ARMY NOW. THAT’S TRUE. ACTUALLY ONLY ONE
THING I TOLD YOU IS A LIE…

THE LIE
IS THAT I HAVE HUNTER LOCKED UP IN A BOX IN THE BASEMENT OF
RECORD-MAN STAN’S LABORATORY—WHICH IS RIGHT HERE ON THE
MIDDLE OF OCELOT ISLAND. AND IT’S A LIE THAT I’M
CONDUCTING SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS ON HIM AND FORCING HIM TO FIND OUT
WHAT HAPPENS ON THE EDGE OF DEATH. NOPE. NOT DOING THAT.

SO DON’T
COME HERE AND CHECK. THE COORDINATES FOR THE ISLAND ARE X: 800815 Y:
40 Z: 7734206 — DON’T MARK THOSE DOWN IF ANYONE READING
EVER COMES TO THESE.

SO UNDER
NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU EVER, EVER COME HERE! BECAUSE THE
LEGENDARY MINECRAFT HUNTER AND HIS PAL TRAPPER THE OCELOT ARE GONE!
THEY AIN’T HERE! STAY OUT! SHEESH!

IN FACT,
I’M SICK OF WRITING IN THIS DIARY! I HATE YOU, DIARY! BECAUSE
GUESS WHAT, I DON’T WANT TO KEEP TELLING YOU MY SECRETS. WHY
ARE YOU SO NOSY! UGH. IT’S DISGUSTING. ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS
GOSSIP AND DRAMA AND PLAYING GAMES.

I’M
SICK OF IT.

SEE
DIARY, I’M A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU. I’M A BIG, GIANT ROBOT
WITH TWO HUGE ROBOT ARMS. SURE, I USED TO JUST BE A ROBOT HEAD AFTER
A GOAT KICKED ME DOWN A MOUNTAIN AND DESTROYED MY BODY, BUT WHO
CARES! IT’S NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

I COULD
BEAT YOU IN A FIGHT ANYDAYIN FACT, TODAY’S THE DAY!

HAHA, SEE
DIARY, I’M WALKING DOWN TO THE BEACH. EVERYBODY’S LOOKING
AT ME FRANTICALLY AS I WRITE IN YOU AS I WALK BUT THEY’RE GONNA
SEE SOON ENOUGH—YOU’RE FINISHED. SAY YOUR LAST GOODBYES,
HUNTER’S DIARY! CAUSE NOBODY’S EVER GONNA READ YOU OR
THINK ABOUT THE SILLY MINECRAFT HUNTER EVER AGAIN!

YOU’VE
MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL FOR THE LAST TIME! SO GET READY FOR ME TO
CHUCK YOU DIRECTLY IN THE OCEAN! HERE IT GOES! THE WINDUP, AND THE
PITCH! I’M THROWING THIS THING AS FAR AS I POSSIBLY CAN!

**Woosh!
The diary soars through the air, going over land and sea until it
finally lands aboard a pirate ship and hits a witch in the face!**

Day
61 - Return of the Flying-Pirate-Ninja-Witch - Belinda the Witch

What in the
world?!

I just
got hit in the face with a Dairy! I thought, better write this down,
cause that sure hasn’t happened before. Who’s diary is
this, anyway?

What the
heck! I just flipped through the book and it’s my old pal,
Hunter! What a legend, that kid. Seems like Hunter and Ocelot got up
to some crazy adventures after the last time I saw them. Well, me
too. I’ve been flying a pirate ship around the seed and my
crew’s grown to have a bunch of zombies and skeletons flying
the ship. People say we are a scary ghost ship flown by a witch—and
guess what, Hunter’s Diary, I wouldn’t argue with them!
Hehe!

I’m
gonna read the rest of the entries in here real quick…Oh
no! Hunter’s in trouble and I’m the only one who can save
him! And who’s this awful STAN-BOT 9000? Boy did a new
body get to his head. Well, I’ll just have to go smash up that
body like the magical goat smashed up the first one. What a yarn!

“Spits!”
I said to my first mate, a spider mans the cannons, “Get a load
of this! It’s Hunter’s diary! He’s in trouble so we
gotta go save him.”

Spits
made a bunch of hissing sounds. I think that means “yes,”
but I’m still not sure with this little spider.

Anyway,
we’re not gonna be able to help Hunter for a while, Diary. I’m
pretty far from those coordinates, and plus I’m in the middle
of something right now. What is it, you ask? Why nothing except…

FLYING
PIRATE ADVENTURES SUPREME!

That’s
right, since I left Hunter and Bones, I’ve made my own way. I
captain my ship with an iron fist! Literally, I wear an iron block on
my fist and smack it around. It really scares the skeletons. The
zombies don’t care. All those dudes want to do is eat brains…

And
brains they shall eat on our many adventures!

My loyal
crew and I can’t be beaten. We’ve done all kinds of cool
stuff. We raided a vault full of gold bars, we saved a princess from
a monster only to find out the princess was the real
monster—metaphorically speaking, she was a huge pain. We found
a map that led us to a treasure but then it turned out the treasure
was inside our own hearts this whole time—this was cheesy, and
I actually really hated it. Oh yeah, we also were a volunteer fire
fighting force for a little while. The type of adventures you’d
expect from a flying pirate ship flown by a witch.

I even
have a Swabbie wither skeleton ward (that’s the guy who cleans
the deck). His name is Todd Jr. I found him running around the middle
of a volcano after his dad got beaten fighting a Wither. Good kid!

Why just
the other day, we were flying and he started asking all the birds
what they thought of the Witch Pirate Supreme Ship. That’s what
I’ve fancied calling the ship now, Diary. The birds said we
were a problem, always getting in the way of the creatures of the
sky. So what did little Todd Jr. do? He started blasting the birds
with a cannon! That will show them!

The birds
might hate me, but my crew loves me. We hunt for meat with the ship,
and no animals can withstand the epic blast of a sky pirate! We’re
always finding treasure. Yep, it really is the good life.

And all
good things must come to an end, huh? I get hit in the head with one
Diary and now I’m on a mission to free an old pal from an
island prison. Seesh.

“Alright
men,” I commanded, “Let’s fly this thing back to
the portal to the Nether! Otherwise, it’ll take more than a
year to fly straight there.”

“Aw!”
said a zombie, “We were just gonna get to that great bakery you
told us about!”

“Yeah!”
said a skeleton, “You promised us delicious treats as a reward
for all the hard work we put into the last mission.”

“Quiet
down!” I shouted, “You’re right. I don’t want
to break a promise. I’m sure my old pal Hunter wouldn’t
mind rotting away in a prison for an extra hour or two. Ok, let’s
do it!” If you’re reading this Hunter, I’m
sorry—but a good captain knows when to keep her promises.

We
arrived at the bakery, this cute little store with 10 stoves inside.
I had myself a nice big cake. There were all kinds of goodies. The
crew was so happy. The baker, who happened to be a spider, was happy
too. We cleared out his entire stock!

Back in
the ship, we started flying toward the portal—but I noticed
something strange. All the birds in the whole Nether were following
us. These wicked black crows seemed to be stalking our ship…How
odd.

We kept
flying and suddenly, the birds attacked!

“Help
me!” shouted Todd Jr. “They’re pecking off me!”
The birds swirled around my little skeley friend and I started
smacking them with my broomstick. They swarmed me next! The birds
pecked at my face and arms. I couldn’t get them to stop! I
guess we shouldn’t have been so mean to birds like we were.
These things were crazy!

“Fire
on the birds!” I shouted, right before a bird flew directly
into my mouth. The zombies manned the cannons and started shooting
TNT blocks right at the flock of birds. They combusted into flames,
flying little sparks of fire. But wait…

That
didn’t destroy them! Now they were fire birds!

The fire
birds were lighting all the regular birds on fire so now there was a
massive vortex of flame. The flame-birds swooped down and started
lighting the sails of the ship on fire. Then, they whirled across the
deck, torching the wood underneath our feet. I started stamping up
and down, but that stinkin’ bird stuck in my mouth was pecking
at my tongue, trying to pull it out, the fiend!

I finally
bashed my face right into one of the crow’s nest poles. Hehe.
How funny, crow’s nest and we’re getting ambushed by a
ton of crows. You’d think they’d want to protect their
nest… Wait a second, that’s it!

I climbed
up the crow’s nest pole and sat in the little deck compartment.
I took a deep breath, then popped up. “Crows!” I shouted,
“I am your queen! Stop pecking me, wouldja!”

All the
flaming birds looked up at me, confused. I could sense in their
little bird brains that they thought I was the real deal. Hehe. Next,
I cocked back my arm and started chucking as many mind-control
potions as I could. This is a new potion, of my own making. Most of
the time, it’s useless. You think controlling somebody’s
mind is going to be great, but then you remember it’s hard
enough to control you own mind. But when it comes to a big flock of
birds…

The
flaming birds all flew off in the direction of the portal. Now, I
could bring my ship right through it. Plus, I had a whole flock of
flaming birds as my allies.

Not too
shabby! And right before I headed to the Nether portal, I realized
something important: I need to pick up another passenger if we’re
gonna save Hunter. Best make it a reunion!

Day
62 - Contraband Diary of an Imprisoned Ocelot - Trapper

I hope nobody
finds this secret diary. I don’t know what STAN-BOT 9000 will
do. I can’t help but feel like this is all my fault.

I was
the reason everyone freaked out and revolted. I’m the reason
we’re stuck in this mess. I don’t know what to do…

One
thing I have to do is escape this horrible prison. Let me tell you
about it. I’m kept far away from Hunter so we can’t plan
an escape together. Mostly, I’m forced to be in this silly box
full of wood chips on the floor. There’s little tunnels coming
out from the box, but I’ve explored every inch of them and they
don’t lead anywhere good. In fact, I’m starting to think
the whole point of the tunnels is to confuse me.

I get
food in the form of block pellets. They’re awful. It’s
just little blocks of goo that I have to munch on and pretend to
enjoy. Well illegal Diary, I don’t enjoy them. They taste like
dust and mold all smushed together into one. I get my water from a
big water bottle attached to the wall of my cage. I can’t just
drink my fill; I have to suckle at the bottle, getting a few drops at
a time.

The
worst parts are the tests. They make me run around in circles on a
little wheel. I spin for hours, over and over and over flopping on
this silly wheel. The wheel doesn’t even have a whole floor; I
have to jump from metal bar to metal bar in order to keep the wheel
spinning. It’s awful.

I have
no idea what the point is.

The
robots seem to have a solution though. They’re writing down all
the data and keeping it in a little box. They scream at me, “Faster,
rodent!”

But I
tried to explain that I’m not a rodent. I’m a feline.
Ocelots are a lot like cats, really. It’s quite rude to call me
a rodent, since I’m a fast and noble cat. I’d eat rodents
if they weren’t so gross. But honestly, I think these robot
creeps think I’m a robot!

You
think all that’s bad, Diary? Nothing is worse though, than the
terrible ball. Some days, the robots scoop me up and put me in a big
clear ball. I have to run around in the ball because the robots try
and kick me. If they get a kick in, then I slam into the ball wall
and get real hurt. I hate the ball.

They
have a game called Trapper Soccer. The robots kick me around and try
to score goals. It’s terrible. The worst part about it isn’t
that it hurts; it’s that the game is so boring. It’s just
back and forth, back and forth over and over! Ugh! What a slow and
unappealing game. I feel like the game could be a lot more fun if
there was dunking of some kind. I love dunks! Who doesn’t?

I
honestly wouldn’t mind if the robots picked me up and dunked me
into a big hoop in the air now and again. I mean, at least I’d
get to be a part of something bigger: dunks.

If I
manage to get away, it’s just as bad. The ball smashes into
things outside on the ground. I roll over them, but hardly make a
dent in the whole “figuring out what’s going on”
thing. Why would someone do this to me? I’m just an ocelot! I
want to live free!

That’s
why I’m writing this Diary. In hopes that someone finds it. I
used to be an Olympic Champion—kind of. Well, I guess anyone
who finds my Diary on the island is going to be angry since I kind of
“destroyed the Olympics”—which I was actually
framed for doing!

I
haven’t seen Hunter, but I heard the moans. They must be trying
to do tests on Hunter too. It’s strange, but I keep hearing the
sizzle of a big portal opening up. The same sound we heard when we
were using the Master Command Block to hop from dimension to
dimension. I can only imagine the tortures experienced by Hunter. I
hope it’s not too bad—and I hope he’s not mad at
me!

Sometimes,
when you think about it, you wish you never started a robot uprising
that backfired and got you locked in a tiny box.

Anyway,
how am I writing this diary? Simple. I’m using my own poop.
Yes, it’s crass. But what other options do I have! They won’t
give me a pen! And the only paper I get is toilet paper. It seems
gross now, but what if this diary gets found and that’s the
reason we’re saved! Could happen! Who knows.

So
now, I’m going to fold it into a little paper airplane. This is
proving to be quite tricky, as it’s a very sticky mess of
rotten paper. Doesn’t look like much an airplane… Hmm…

Day
63 - Diary of a Depressed Spider Jockey Who Lost His True Love -
Bones Skeleton

Oh Diary, how far
I’ve fallen. I write to you now in a moment of intense sadness.
I remember my old pal Hunter used to write in a diary. Seemed like a
good idea. That’s why I’m starting one all my own.

I used to
be one of the Nether’s strongest warriors. A maniac of epic
proportions, I’d ride a spider and hack, slash and conquer. It
was Bones and Spits! Legendary Fighters of Mobs and Monsters!

Then what
happened? Well, I fought a deranged Pigman doctor and found my wife.
My spider left me. I got depressed—I got fat. Yeah, pretty
tricky, seeing as though I’m a skeleton. But now my bones are
all bloated and gross.

I’d
walk around my skull castle (it’s a castle, but in the shape of
a skull) and just sulk. I didn’t talk much, just ate a bunch.
My wife, Ivory, wasn’t anything like I remembered her. She just
yelled at me all the time and berated me for sulking and whining for
my long lost spider and for not doing anything. She said I was a
failure.

Mostly, I
got yelled at. I’d forage for food but I couldn’t bring
myself to fight mobs just like before. Just didn’t feel the
same without my partner. I’d sometimes brandish the old bone
sword just for nostalgia’s sake, but it wasn’t the same…

Didn’t
take long for Ivory to leave me.

“You’re
a waste,” she said, looking at me with her void-like eyes. I
mean, to her credit, all us skeletons have void eyes (they’re
just holes, after all) but the way she looked at me was extra mean. I
wish I never married this lady. But at this point, it didn’t
matter, because she left me alone to my own sad thoughts in my skull
castle.

You
better believe I ate a bunch of cakes.

Eventually,
I got so fed up with myself I decided to go walk into a lake full of
lava. I thought that at least the warm embrace of the lava lake would
be better than the cold, cruelness of the terrible world that I live
in now.

So I
dragged my lazy bones out to the lava lake. It took a while, no
doubt. I found a bunch of mobs saw me, the same mobs whose hearts
used to be struck with fear when they saw me. Not anymore. They
laughed at me! Well, at least I wouldn’t have to put up with
this much longer.

I got to
the shore of the lava lake. I smelt the bubbling, boiling, lava pops.
I stared out at the endless orange and yellow void. I felt the hot,
hot head of it all. This is it. I dipped in a boney toe. It melted.
Time to go.

And then,
something unbelievable happened.

Right
before I jumped into the lava, Belinda’s flying pirate ship
swooped down and the witch called out to me,

“What
are you doin’ down there, Bones!” her pointy black hat
was flapping in the wind.

I looked
up. “Uh…” seemed kind of embarrassing to explain
that I was about to jump into a bunch of lava because my wife left me
and my life got really depressing. “Nothing!” I ended up
saying.

“Well
climb aboard then!” she called, throwing a rope.

I started
up the rope, but I felt it buckle. They tried pulling me up but the
robe splintered. Uh-oh. I was too fat for this rope. Maybe I would
end up cooked in a lake full of lava!

“Help!”
I screamed, I didn’t want to die anymore. I had friends now. I
had a mission. And that mission was—being a sky pirate! I
should have done that in the first place! Ugh, it all went so wrong.

The rope
snapped.

I started
falling to my doom, cursing myself for not just telling the ship to
pick me up anywhere besides right above a lake full of lava—why
didn’t I see this happening? This would be my last thought…

UNTIL I
WAS SAVED BY MY BEST FRIEND AND COMPANION SPITS THE SPIDER!

Yep, he
swung from a web connected to his butt and saved me right before I
plummeted to a hot, lava-y death. It was a miracle! Sorta. Sure, he
was on the boat the whole time and he’s great with webs and I
rode on top his back for years but…I was still surprised he
could carry me.

“Let
me guess,” I said confidently, I was already feeling back to my
old self, “You need a cool skeleton to make this place a whole
lot better?”

“Nah,”
Belinda said, “We already got Todd Jr.”

A little
black boned skeleton came out and tipped his hat to me. Who’s
this? He hopped atop Spits and the two started dancing. Oh brother.
Somebody’s riding my spider mount? WHAT IS THIS?!

“Hello,
Mr. Fat Skeleton,” said the new boy. “Are you friends
with my spider mount, Spits?”

THIS
MEANS WAR!

Day
64 - File X - Record Man Stan

The trials are
going excellently. I’ve got an ocelot thinking it’s a
hamster, and I have the horrible Hunter trapped in the outer limits
Ender Zone.

I want to
keep a record of these experiments and I will call them…The X
Files! No, that implies there are other files A-Z (excluding x). So,
I guess I’ll just call it File X!

Right
after I wrote that, I pressed a button on a new machine I designed to
shoot off a bolt of lightning through the sky. Very impressive
machine, for sure. I control the weather, time, space! I control
everything!

Yep,
life’s been good since I tricked Hunter into getting me that
Command Block. What a useful device! First, I made myself a few
chests full of diamonds and emeralds. It got to be so many; I had to
make a mansion just to house them all. After that, I buffed up my lab
to be a huge underground maze full of mansions, chests, mines, mobs,
and more! Hehehe! Has there ever been a more powerful man in history
than me!?

No.

And to
think, I got all this stuff in hopes of getting some dinky record! I
still didn’t even bother making one of those rare records yet.
Who cares when I have all this power!

Mwuahahahe!

Oh yeah,
I need to record the outcome of the trials.

After I
installed the giant water bottle in his cage, Trapper the Ocelot
forgot that real jungle cats don’t suckle from a silly bottle.
I guess he had no other option, but now he’s a hamster! I’ve
put him in a ball! Hahaha!

I always
wanted a pet hamster, but my parents wouldn’t let me get one.
Well, now who’s having the last laugh! I am because I’m
torturing a cat into thinking it’s a hamster!

What
happened to Hunter you ask? Oh, that’s the best part. I have
sent Hunter in another dimension! Yes, I still had the Master Command
Block and I didn’t want it to go to waste. I tricked the ocelot
into thinking Hunter’s in the cell next to him. Hehe.

I
recorded a new record…entirely of Hunter’s screams! How
delightful! Now, the ocelot thinks his pal is right next to him and
that one day, they can plan an escape! But nope, that will never
happen! Hunter’s lost in the very fabric of the universe!

Yes,
having unlimited power really is the way to go. I’d recommend
it to anyone. I have all the precious jewels, all the blocks I want,
any materials I need to craft whatever I want! I’m practically
a Creator myself!

I even
learned how to use my Command Block to do amazing things like fly,
shoot fire, superhero stuff—but the difference is, I’m a
super villain!

Now, you
might be reading these notes and wondering where the scientific data
is. THERE IS NO DATA! DATA IS BORING! Instead, you got to see the
truth of power—the File X is a document of pain and suffering
for all who are not me! Muwahaha!

And now,
I will give you a taste of what is to come, for my loyal servant
STAN-BOT 9000 is such a great robot, I’ve decided to use my
unlimited resources to make him even more powerful. I’m going
to craft a giant robot suit! One that reaches the limits of the sky!
And with that suit, he will be the strongest robot in the universe!

Muwhahaha!

Day
63 - Dragon Braggin’ - Belinda the Witch

With the crew back
together the Good Ship Belinda Witch is back asunder! We’re
cruising through the Nether and back to the Overworld.

“What
say ye, skipper Spits?” I asked my loyal spider companion. “Do
you think we’ll be able to beat the STAN-BOT Army and save
Hunter?”

The
spider shrugged with all eight of its legs. It thought for a second,
and then nodded a firm, “No.”

“No!”
I gasped, “Why not?”

Spits is
incredibly good at making web murals. It’s quite the talent. He
quickly weaved a mural of our ship getting taken out by robots,
burned straight from the sky with their laser vision. The web-picture
was so detailed! Spits himself was getting crushed by a giant robot
foot. Bones and Todd Jr. were getting picked apart, bone by bone. I
was thrown against a rock wall and flattened like a pancake. It was a
really gruesome scene. I couldn’t believe how much thought he’d
put into this. But, he made a good point…

“What
are we gonna do if everybody we know isn’t enough!” I
cried, realizing that it was Hunter and Trapper that really made our
combat team shine. Of course they couldn’t fight with us, since
they’re captured and the entire reason we’re fighting in
the first place. “So what do we do?”

Spits
erased his first mural then started in on a second one. This time, he
drew up a big picture of The End. In it, you could see the Ender
Dragon sitting in his big crater and crying. You may remember,
Hunter’s Diary, that we met this dragon once before. He was a
big cry baby and he didn’t want to fight us because he was sick
of getting beaten up all the time (reasonable). Spits started
pointing frantically at the dragon. I understood. We need heavy
artillery.

“Change
courses!” I shouted, “We’re going to the End!”

“Aye
aye, sir!” shouted Todd Jr. He’s not the navigator, but
it’s the thought that counts.

“Psh!”
Bones said, waving a fattened arm bone at the tiny skeleton. What’s
with those two?

We soared
through the sky and made our way out to the furthest reaches of the
End. There were stars, floating asteroids, Endermen as far as the eye
could see, and those Purpur blocks littering the ground like magenta
trash.

“There
he is!” I called, pointing toward the big, black and green
dragon. We pulled up right above him. I cupped my hands and shouted
down to the big monster. “Hey Dragon! Wake up, I got something
to ask you!”

“Oh
no…” The dragon immediately got scared, tears welled up
in his eyes and he started breathing really heavy, “You didn’t
come to beat me up, did you!”

“Nope!
We need your help beating somebody else up!” I called back.
“There’s an evil genius with a robot army and a magic
creating block we gotta stop. We’re not gonna win unless we
bring in some heavy artillery and you’re it!”

“Nope!”
said the dragon, standing up all tall, “I am most certainly not
it. I’m not a fighter! I’m a lover!”

“You’re
a dragon!” I protested, “You’re built for fighting.
Your whole reason for being is to provide a good fight! Don’t
give me that junk!” All my crew was standing at the deck of the
ship cheering me on. Plenty of explorers have beaten the dragon
before, but nobody ever yelled at him and told him what to do. I felt
pretty brave even though I know this scaredy-cat would never fight
back.

“I
don’t fight and that’s final!” the dragon said,
then shoved his head in a pile of rocks.

“If
you don’t help us…” I threatened, “I’m
gonna beat you up! You don’t know how bad my acid potions hurt
until I start pouring them all over you!” I pulled a jar from
my cloak and the crew cheered. “Burn.His. Scales! Burn.His.
Scales!” they chanted.

“Go
ahead and do it then!” the dragon cried, his tears pouring from
the cracks between the rock. “I don’t care! Do your
worst!”

I felt
too bad hurting a defenseless dragon like that. Plus, if we pour a
bunch of acid on him now, what use is he gonna be when we go fight
the STAN-BOTs.

“How
about this, Dragon…” I offered, “What if I give
you a Sheepie snack…” The dragon’s head shot out
of the rock pile.

“What’s
a Sheepie snack?” said Todd Jr.

“Well
uh…pretty much just tasty sheep,” I answered.

“Two
Sheepie snacks!” said the dragon.

“OK!
I’ll do you one better, I’ll give you two sheepies now,
and two sheepies after all the robots are fried. And you don’t
have to even fight! Just reign down some fire and blast the robots,
smash up their hide out, cause a general sense of terror, you know,
dragon stuff!”

“I
hate that kinda thing,” the dragon lamented, “But I do
love me some Sheepie snacks!”

“Crew!”
I ordered, “Go throw some sheep in the dragon’s mouth!
And sheer them first, no use wasting good wool.” Two zombies
grabbed some sheep and tossed them right down to the dragon’s
snout. He caught them like candies.

“Yum
yum!” he sighed, “I haven’t had a Sheepie Snack in
ages! I ate all the sheep on the End, so I’ve just been
fantasizing about them.” The dragon flew up into the air and
came close to the ship. The crew backed up instinctively since most
dragons are horrifying monsters who really scare ya.

“There’s
more where that came from, Dragon,” I told him, “…just
follow along with us and you’ll be sure to get them. Now, to
the Ocelot Island! This Record Man Stan’s terror has gone on
too long!”

With a
dragon in tow, we flew straight back to the Over World. With a dragon
on our side, I feel a lot better about our chances.

Day
64 - Skeleton vs. Skeleton - Todd Jr.

Why hello,
Hunter’s Diary, it’s me the Wither Skeleton Boy, Todd Jr.

I’m
a skeleton whose bones are black and I swab the decks on Belinda’s
flying pirate ship. She rescued me from the Nether after my father,
Todd Sr. smashed up a bunch of stuff with a really big bone club.
He’s strong. I’m even stronger. Dad said I’d make a
wonderful warrior one day, before he got eaten alive by a Wither.

Sad.

But I’ve
adjusted okay! I really love my life as a sky pirate. I have a great
friend in Belinda, and Spits has really taken a liking to me. He lets
me ride his back and have a lot of fun swinging around on his webs.
Plus, we go on crazy adventures! I can’t wait to meet this
Hunter everybody’s talking about.

Yeah,
life sure was peachy until…Well, until that awful, fat
skeleton Bones came around. Get a load of this guy! He just comes in
here and starts smacking me around, telling me that he’s the
only skeleton to mount Spits on this flying pirate ship, and that
when I’m least expecting it he’s gonna drop me into a big
pool of lava! What a creep!

I didn’t
want to fight the guy, but he practically forced me to do it. Either
that, or get bullied by him for however much longer!

“Oh,
you better believe I’m going through with this,” Bones
said, brandishing his big, bone skeleton sword. Bones was somehow fat
now. I don’t know how a skeleton gets fat, didn’t even
think it was possible. But looking at the big chunky bones of…Bones,
I knew life didn’t go his way.

“Alright,
this is gonna be your standard pirate fight,” Belinda shouted,
“Pirate rules. Whoever falls of the ship first is the loser.
Don’t slay each other. We’ve got a war to fight soon and
we can’t lose anybody to some petty rivalry.”

“If
I win, I want Todd kicked off the ship!” Bones shouted.

“Not
gonna happen,” Belinda said, “But if you win, you can
have Todd’s dinner tonight, how’s that sound?”

“Mmm,
good actually,” Bones replied.

“Hey!
I didn’t agree to that!” I whined.

“Then
you can have a week’s worth of Bones dinners!” Belinda
said.

“I
don’t want two dinners! I’m fine with one dinner. Don’t
wanna get…uh…like Bonesy over there,” I tried to
be polite about it.

“Hey!
I heard that!” Bones called.

“Just
throw the dinners away in front of him or something. Put dirt all
over them. You know this tubby will still eat them, ain’t that
right Bones!” Belinda laughed. The rest of the crew laughed
too. I was definitely the preferred favorite.

“Ready…set…fight!”
Belinda screamed.

I sprang
into action. I wasn’t going to let this creep get an attack of
opportunity on me. I tackled him to the ground, but was stopped in my
tracks by his massive denseness.

“My
wife left me!” he cried, and started swinging his bone club. We
each got to pick one weapon (pirate rules) and he was intent on
crushing me. Not gonna happen.

I back
flipped and launched off my bone-stars—they’re like ninja
stars, but they’re made of sharpened bone. They landed right in
Bones’ arms and legs.

“Argh!”
he screamed, “My wife left and you stole my partner!” He
was enraged, totally unfazed by the death stars in his extremities.
He came lunging again with his big bone club, smashing holes in the
deck of the ship.

“Watch
the ship! Come on! Stop!” Belinda pleaded.

I darted
between Bones’ legs. I got behind him and put him in a
bear-hold. “I didn’t make your wife leave and I didn’t
tell you to not travel the skies with Spits!” I pulled harder.
I could feel the bones popping out of their sockets. “Just give
up!” I pleaded.

“Never!”
Bones screamed. He lunged forward. Bad choice. I was left holding his
arms, ripped right off his torso. “Uh…Stop hitting
yourself!” I screamed, smacking him around with his own arms.

“I’ll
beat you!” Bones screamed, soaring through the air with a
kung-fu kick. I dodged it effortlessly. His foot got stuck in the
wall of the cabin. “Uh-oh,” he said. I ran over and
knocked his leg off with two chops from both his arms.

Now, he
was hopping around on one leg, frothing at the mouth like a dog. He
looked like a maniac. “Come on dude…” I begged,
“Just give up.”

“Never!”
he started hopping at me. I took my last bone star and threw it at
his head; it went soaring off the pirate ship. I told this dude he
shouldn’t have messed with me.

“What
kind of ninja is named Todd Jr.!” he screamed as his head
rocketed through the air, falling off the boat, almost crashing to
the ground—but was saved, just in the nick of time, by good ol’
Spits the Spider.

“Why
did you abandon me, Spits!” Bones cried, “Why did you
choose a new skeleton over me!”

Belinda
picked up Bones’ head and jammed it back on his torso. “Nobody
abandoned you, ya big lug! Well, I guess your wife did. But we’re
not you’re wife, so quit your belly aching!”

“I’ll
help rebuild him,” I offered, “I’ll make him
stronger. I can use this as an opportunity to make a new Bones, one
that will most certainly help us win this upcoming battle.”

“Yeah
do that,” Belinda said, “But hurry up because we’re
approaching upon the Ocelot Island! There it is me mates! Land ho!”

The
island was cloaked in a cloud of fog. I picked up all the pieces of
Bones’ bones and brought them into the fold. Now it’s
time to show this skeleton how great a bone warrior can truly be!

Day
65 - Island Invasion - Belinda the Witch

Our ship, the
dragon and all the crew was ready to fight the second we saw the
island.

Seems
like the Record Man Stan has destroyed his home island. It’s
called Ocelot Island, but I didn’t see one ocelot on it. There
weren’t any houses, stores, parks, nothing… Everything
looked freshly destroyed, like Stan’s whole purpose in getting
the Command Block was taking over the island without any concern for
the animals and other living things that lived there. The fiend!

“Careful
everyone,” I instructed, “We don’t know where the
robots and what their powers are.”

But we
could take a solid guess. In the middle of the island was a gigantic
skull. What is it about skull-shaped hideouts? It seems like all
villains want to do their bidding from inside a big skull.

“How
dare they disrespect skulls like that!” Todd Jr. called out to
me.

“I
thought you were fixing Bones!” I reminded him.

“I
am. I just have to wait for the metal to set…” he said
suspiciously. Hmm. Wonder what that means.

Right as
we got close to the skull, an alarm sounded. Giant lasers shot into
the air! Looks like we set off a trap. “Get ready!” I
screamed, pulling out my strongest potions from my robe. I knew this
was going to be a fight where we needed to pull out all the stops.

A hundred
robots ran from the skeleton’s mouth, flew out of its eyes,
crawled from the holes in its nose. The robots were all different
kinds. Some were humanoid looking, others had huge saws for hands,
and a few were just giant, walking hammers.

“Attack!”
I screamed, throwing down my acid potions on one of the saw-bots. It
melted into a puddle of metal.

First,
the End Dragon got ready for a blast. He torched as much of the
island as possible, setting off a fire that couldn’t be put
out—it kept spreading and spreading. Then, he swooped down and
started getting at the core of the hideout. The robots retaliated.
They shot swords out of a sword-cannon at the dragon, and he was
pierced with all kinds of weaponry. The End dragon was making
horrible moaning sounds.

“Are
Sheepie Snacks worth this much pain!” he lamented. The End
dragon proved to be a valuable ally in this fight, however.

The
zombies manned the cannons, shooting off TNT blocks into the
skull-hideout. The explosions set off other explosions inside the
place and it looked like the skull was a flame-skull now. It would
have made a really sweet tattoo—and as a pirate captain, I
needed to write this down because I wanted to get some cool tattoo to
show off my tough-captain credibility.

But there
was no time!

Spits had
swung into action from the ship, holding onto the thread of a web. He
was smacking the baddies around with his eight legs, while
simultaneously weaving a huge web net so he could throw them into the
trap.

It seemed
like there was no end in sight to the robots. Todd Jr. ran up to me
and told me that Bones was ready to go, but I needed to use him as a
last ditch effort. Then, the Wither Skeleton jumped down to the
battle field with all kinds of ninja-skeleton weapons. He threw more
bone-stars, landing shots right into the robot’s red stone
control panels. They blew up in spectacular fashion. He used a bone
sword to cut off the robots head, more explosions sparking throughout
the battlefield. Todd Jr. was a madman, and this is why I had him as
my swabbie. If you ever run a pirate ship, make sure the boy who
cleans the decks is actually your best fighter; it’s great for
the element of surprise.

The
robots brought out another cannon of their own—this one shot
robots themselves! They blasted a bunch of bots right on the deck of
the ship and the first thing they did was set the ship aflame!
Everything was burning. It was no longer Ocelot Island, but rather
Flame Skull Island featuring Crashing Flying Pirate Ship!

My
beautiful vessel crashed to the ground, “Abandon ship!” I
screamed, as I jumped off chucking potions on my way down. I chugged
a few too, making me practically invincible, fully invisible, and
ready to defeat the robots!

On the
ground, I finally saw what we were really up against, because the
middle of the island cracked open like some sort of egg. Emerging
from the hole was a sight of true terror! It was a giant robot over
100 feet tall! What in the world.

“ALL
OF YOU, CEASE YOUR ATTACK AND STAND READY TO PERISH! I AM THE
UN-DEFEAT-ABLE STAN-BOT 9000!” said the robot. What a nerd! No
way are we just gonna stand here and get walloped.

The
dragon flew at him head on, clawing at his massive head. He blasted
flames, swooped down and gave it his best, but the Massive STAN-BOT
9000 just swatted the End Dragon away like some big fly. This isn’t
good.

While he
attacks the giant robot head on, we can sneak into the hideout and
free our friends. I sure hope Todd’s plan works, because this
metal robot sure seems like an impossible foe!

Day
65 - NOBLE STAN-BOT’S LAST STAN’D - STAN-BOT 9000

ATTENTION! ALL
ROBOTS! THE ISLAND IS UNDER ATTACK!

I WILL
USE MY EYES AND EARS TO TELL YOU WHAT’S HAPPENING. WE CANNOT
LET THESE INTRUDERS DESTROY THE ISLAND. THIS MUCH IS CLEAR. WE MUST
DEFEND OUR MASTER, RECORD MAN STAN!

LAUNCH AN
ALL OUT ASSAULT!

FIRST, WE
SHALL POUR OUT ALL OUR TROOPS. WE NEED TO DEAL WITH THE GIANT ENDER
DRAGON THAT’S DESTROYING OUR ROBOTS! NOW THEY ARE SHOOTING
CANNONS AT THE SKULL FORTRESS?! AND THEY ARE SENDING DOWN A SKELETON
NINJA TO DEAL WITH OUR BOTS?!

THIS WILL
NOT STAND.

RECORD
MAN STAN, IN HIS INFINITE WISDOM, HAS CREATED A MECHA-SUIT THAT CAN
ONLY BE PILOTED BY MY EPIC BRAIN. A MECHA SUIT IS A ROBOT THAT’S
OVER 1000 FEET TALL. IT’S A MASSIVE MACHINE THAT CAN STOP AND
SMASH PRACTICALLY ANYTHING. WE PROBABLY SHOULDN’T USE IT HERE
ON THE ISLAND BECAUSE IT WILL DESTROY MOST EVERYTHING. BUT IT IS THE
ONLY CHANCE FOR VICTORY!

IF ANY
FUTURE ROBO-TROOPS ARE READING THIS THEN HERE IS HOW THE MECHA SUIT
IS ARMED.

FIRST, I
REMOVED THE DETACHABLE HEAD FROM MY TEN FOOT BODY. IT IS A SAD THING
TO LOSE ONE’S BODY (I SHOULD KNOW) BUT I AM TRADING UP FOR A
BODY ONE HUNDRED TIMES MY SIZE. THIS IS A GOOD THING!

MY HEAD
IS THEN PLACED IN THE MECHA-MACHINE. I AM ARMED INTO THE CHEST OF THE
GIANT ROBOT. THIS IS WHERE THE MECHA-SUIT IS MOST VULNERABLE, HOWEVER
THIS DOESN’T MATTER FOR WE HAVE REINFORCED THE CHEST WITH
DIAMOND BLOCKS—NOTHING CAN STOP THE MECHA-MADNESS.

NEXT, THE
SUIT EMERGES FROM THE LAUNCHING PAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ISLAND.
RECORD-MAN STAN ONCE TOLD ME TO NEVER USE THE SUIT FOR ANYTHING OTHER
THAN AERIEL COMBAT—HOWEVER, HE DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE IMPENDING
PIRATE SHIP ATTACK, SO I HOPE HE FORGIVES ME.

I CAME
OUT OF THE HOLE READY TO FIGHT. FIRST, I SAW THE DRAGON. HE HAS
PROVEN TO BE A GREAT OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH. I SMASHED HIM INTO THE
GROUND WITH ONE POWERFUL HIT. THE DRAGON IS DOWN.

I SEE
THAT THE PIRATE SHIP HAS ALREADY BEEN SANK. ITS SMOLDERING REMAINS
HAVE CRASHED INTO THE DIRT. HAHA! WE ARE PRACTICALLY VICTORIOUS!

HOWEVER,
THERE IS ONE SMALL HICCUP IN THIS PLAN—A METAL SKELETON HAS
COME FORTH FROM THE SHIP. HE IS ONLY TEN FEET TALL, BUT HIS BONES ARE
MADE OF IRON. PLUS, HE IS RIDING A METAL-SPIDER MOUNT THAT LOOKS LIKE
A MOTORCYCLE. THIS DUDE ROCKS.

TOO BAD
I’M GOING TO HAVE TO DESTROY HIM!

THE METAL
SKELETON AND HIS METAL SPIDER CRAWLED UP MY LEG—EW, CREEPY—AND
NOW HE’S HACKING AWAY AT THE KNEE JOINT OF MY SUIT. I WILL SHOW
HIM! I SMASHED DOWN WITH MY ROCKET-POWERED WRISTS AND…

OUCH! I
JUST HIT MYSELF IN THE KNEE! SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT ONE COMING.

NOW HE’S
CRAWLED UP AND IS HACKING AT THE OTHER LEG. OH BOY, HE’S REALLY
MAKING IT HARD FOR MY ROBOT SUIT TO MOVE.

IF ANY
ROBO-SOLDIERS OF THE FUTURE ARE READING THIS, REMEMBER TO STOP THE
ASSAULT ON THE LEGS. BECAUSE I COULD NO LONGER MOVE THE MECH SUIT, I
WAS FORCED TO LAUNCH AN ALL OUT MISSILE ASSAULT!

I BLASTED
AS MANY TNT BLOCKS AS I COULD IN MY ARSENAL. THEY DIDN’T WORK.
THE METAL SKELETON WAS UNFAZED BY THE MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS. HE KEPT
CRAWLING UP MY BODY, AND NOW I WAS PUNCHING AT THE TORSO OF MY SUIT.

I KNEW,
LOGICALLY, THAT THIS WAS A BAD IDEA, SINCE THIS WAS MY ONLY WEAK
SPOT—BUT I COULD NOT TAKE THE THOUGHT OF LOSING TO A PITIFUL
LITTLE BUG LIKE THIS METAL SKELETON!

I KEPT
SMASHING AWAY AND FINALLY, THE SKELETON AND HIS METAL, FLYING SPIDER
WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MECH. HE FOUND MY HEAD! WHAT WOULD I DO, HE
WAS GOING TO DESTROY MY PRECIOUS SUIT!

“Looks
like it’s the end of the line, buddy. I never thought I’d
say this but being made of metal is a much better existence if you
want to fight to the finish.”

“SHUT
UP!” I COMMANDED HIM. NOW, IT WAS TIME FOR THE EMERGENCY
MANEUVER—THE DEATH SPIRAL TORNADO!

I USED
ALL THE POWER OF MY SUIT TO START A HUGE VORTEX ON THE ISLAND. ALL
THE OTHER ROBOTS GOT SUCKED INTO IT, AND I WAS ABLE TO USE THEIR
PARTS TO POWER UP MY MECHA-SUIT. I WOULD NOT BE STOPPED! THIS IS IT.
IT’S TIME FOR MY ASCENSION!

I FLEW UP
INTO THE AIR AND THE METAL SKELETON SMASHED INTO THE WALLS OF THE
CHEST-COCKPIT. HE IS GOING TO BE VERY SAD WHEN I DESTROY ALL OF HIS
FRIENDS WITH THE END-LASER RAMPAGE!

ABOVE THE
ISLAND, I STARTED RAINING DOWN THE PLAIN WITH FLAME LASERS. I HOPE
MASTER STAN ISN’T MAD THAT I AM TORCHING WHAT IS LEFT OF THE
ALREADY BURNING OCELOT ISLAND, AND THAT ALL THE LAND IS TURNING INTO
OBSIDIAN THANKS TO THE BLAST. BUT I MUST ELIMINATE THESE FIENDS. I
CANNOT ALLOW THEM TO DEFEAT US. IT IS TOO HUMILIATING.

THE
ISLAND IS QUICKLY NEUTRALIZED. ALL OF THE ROBOTS ARE MELTED. I DO NOT
SEE THE WITCH OR HER CREW OF PIRATE MOBS. I HAVE WON.

WHERE IS
MASTER? I CANNOT REACH HIM?

HAS
STAN-BOT 9000 PROVEN TO BE TOO POWERFUL? DID ALL OF MY RAGE DESTROY
THAT WHICH I LOVED? AND ALSO, HOW DO I EXTERMINATE THE METAL SKELETON
AND HIS METAL SPIDER COMPANION THAT ARE TRAPPED IN MY CHEST CAVITY…

I DIDN’T
THINK THIS THROUGH, DID I…HMM… MECHA STAN-BOT 9000 IS
FILLED WITH REGRET…

Day
65 - The Breakout! - Trapper

“Trapper!”
said Belinda the Witch, as the door melted in a mixture of acid and
iron.

“Belinda!”
I chittered. I can’t talk, but I’m sure she knew what I
meant. I was so happy to see her. And finally, I was outside of my
cell without that sILLY ball.

“We
came as fast as we could! Where’s Hunter?” she asked. I
ran over to the cell next door. We smashed down the door and…it
was empty. It was just a record player, making the moaning sounds of
screams.

Strange.

We
kept going down the hallways and defeating whatever robots came in
our view. I saw one of the Saw-Hand bots; this was a guy who really
enjoyed humiliating me during Ocelot Soccer. I ran up to him and bent
his arm joints, forcing him to saw open his own red-stone control
panel. Haha! Stop hitting yourself.

I kept
going. Here was a laser eye bot—so I climbed up his back and
moved his head into position. I fired the lasers at every other robot
in the hall. I melted them and watched the carnage begin.

“I
think Trapper’s gone a little nuts,” Belinda said.

A
black Wither Skeleton ninja propositioned, “I think you might
be right because…uh…he’s eating the remains of
the robots he just killed.”

And
that might have been true, Diary. I just was filled with rage. I have
been imprisoned a bunch of times in my life now, and I gotta say, I
hate it more and more each time. I think this time, I finally
snapped.

We got
into the great hall, but heard the thundering explosions outside.
Something big had happened. All the robots around us were getting
sucked up, magnetically, through a giant hole. They soared through
the air as though they were being called to one massive source.

How
strange, but also helpful since there were no more robots guarding
the halls. Now, we just saw the sad state of Record Man Stan’s
hideout. Ever since we brought him the Command Block, he’d used
it for creating all sorts of junk—but it seemed like the dude
didn’t have even one friend. There were portraits of him all
over the walls, but never of anyone else. The dude had everything in
the seed, but he didn’t have any brothers to share it with. I
almost felt bad for him!

But
like, I didn’t actually feel bad for him. He tried to drive me
insane and make me think I was a hamster. I’m going to claw his
eyes out the first chance I get.

And
that chance didn’t seem too far off. We made our way to the
master control panel room and in the middle was Record Man Stan,
illuminated by the light of his command block.

“Stan!”
Belinda shouted, “It’s finished!”

Stan
didn’t agree. He shot a laser blast at the witch and she flew
back against the wall. She was prepared though, as she launched a
potion at the evil genius before he could launch another attack. It
was a potion of slowing, so he was pretty much immobilized.

Spits
the spider got to work on making a huge web to trap this guy in. Good
idea, Spits, we’re going to have to question him to find my
best friend!

And
then there’s this new guy, Todd Jr. This dude rules, huh? He’s
a ninja! And he snuck up behind Stan and knocked the block right out
of his hand. Then, he did a few kidney punches and the guy keeled
over. He kicked him as hard as he could with a bony foot and got him
stuck right in the spider web.

I ran
over and grabbed the command block. Now, he’s practically
defenseless.

Or is
he?! In the web, he pulled out The Master Command Block!

Oh no,
this can transport people to another dimension! This is what he used
on Hunter, I’m sure of it. What can we do?

I
sprang into action and used the regular Command Block to fly in the
air. He started shooting inter-dimensional teleportation lasers from
his box. Don’t want to get hit by those, or else you’ll
never know where you’ll end up.

I
zoomed in and blasted him one last time with the Command Block. He
shook with terror as the lightning forced him to drop the box.

“You’re
done,” Belinda said, walking over to him and taking the box.
She stared at her remaining crew members. All the zombies had burned
up. There was just me, that Todd guy, and Spits—where’s
Bones? I hope he’s ok.