This is how I envision it all going down, which is an extremely poor choice of words.

As spotted on Jezebel this weekend, Cullen's Restaurant in Houston is offering the perfect date package for rich people who love reenacting scenes from a doomed ocean liner: the Titanic Experience. Included in the totally affordable $12,000 package is a 10-course meal of old-timey dishes as served on the Titanic for you and 11 of your closest friends (sounds like a perfect prom plan, kids! Ask Mom and Dad!) and the chance to sample a bottle of Armagnac from the year 1900. The fact that I have no idea what Armagnac is might be a good indicator that I can't afford this date.

The package was created to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the ship's sinking on April 15 and coincidentally probably not coincidentally at all, the re-release of the epic film is scheduled for this month as well. You also get to eat at the restaurant's "Macy's Table," a room suspended from the ceiling, which does sound pretty awesome.

All I know is that for that kind of money, I'd prefer that Leonardo DiCaprio himself be waiting for me at the bottom of a grand staircase, with a tuxedo and a smile. Sigh. I'll never let go, Jack.

What would you do with $12,000 on a date? Bring all your friends? Rent out a theater showing Titanic for all your friends? Or you know, something else that has nothing to do with the RMS Titanic?