Thursday, June 21, 2012

Yesterday was the first day of summer. Yes, I know that it used to be that today was the first day of summer. I don't know when and why it changed, but I'm not a fan. I like consistency. Most consistency. Certain sorts of consistent things I do not like. Some of those things would include the sorts of stories that a lot of news outlets feel the need to be carrying when the temperature outside begins to increase. That's right. Stories about the heat AND what you need to do when it gets warmer. Good Lord, who are those stories for?

The thing I hate the most about the heat is when it reaches at least 100 degrees. That's when the media damn near wets its collective self because it gets to report that the temperature is now in "triple digits". You can't go an hour without hearing "triple digits" in one form or another. It's just ridiculous. Is 100 degrees much different from 99 degrees? No. It's not. But just because you have to add an extra number, its reported as if you might burst into a ball of flames should you come in contact with heat that is in "triple digits". Call me when we hit quadruple digits. Now THAT would get my attention.

Seriously though, who on earth are these broadcasts about tips to "deal with" elevated temperatures actually for? Stay inside. Drink lots of water. Use a fan. Who in the hell is that for? Is there anyone out there who actually stays tuned to such banality and when it's over, thinks to themselves, "Well, that was really helpful. I certainly am glad that they did that because otherwise, I would have had no clue as to what to do when it gets warm outside. After all, it is four degrees warmer than it was last week. I have no idea what I should do." Who's perking up in their chair when they tease this feature? Who is turning up the volume? Who is making sure that everyone in the room stops talking so that they can fully absorb this valuable information about to be beset upon them by the sage-like newscasters? Anyone? Anyone?

I have somehow managed for my entire life to make it to where I am now without anyone telling me, "Hey, you know, it's really hot outside, so here are a few things that you should do." I'm serious! And it's on almost every newscast. It's astounding. There can't be anyone that that is for, is there? Who are you programmers at these media outlets who think that this is good idea? I notice that you don't do something similar when it rains. ("It's raining today. That means water is falling from the sky. If you just walk outside, you're going to get wet. Here's Bob with some helpful tips on how to not get wet when it rains. Bob...") Why do they do it when it gets slightly warmer? I don't know and I don't get it, but I wish they'd stop. Now.