Wednesday, August 5, 2009

As I'm starting this post, Guerrier just plunked some Indian in the leg and there's no better way to lead into this latest bitch fest directed towards the Twins worthless fucking bullpen. As can be expected I got pretty bored watching Paul Watson march one worthless pitcher after another out to the mound tonight. So I decided to take a look at just how bad the bullpen has been since the all-star break. Keep in mind, this was two weeks before the trading deadline. And ole' Billy Boy Smith can preach on and on about how thin the relief pitching market was this season, but when you're not willing to pony up any money, the market for anybody is pretty slim. So a big fuck you to Smith. Pile of donkey shit. Anyways, here's the numbers for the bullpen in Twins losses since the break. You can say the stats are skewed since these are only losses, but I really don't give a shit and I'll twist any number so it backs up my bitching so fuck off.

That's 45.1 innings pitched with 37 runs allowed. 7.38ERA over that stretch. Jesus H. Christ that is pathetic. I'm not about to say that the starters have been solid by any means, but when you go out there knowing once you get behind you're pretty much fucked it's gotta be tough. With that said, any starting left hander who currently wears a Twins uniform (that means you Perkins and Liriano) please take Punto and go have a suicide party. I've heard they're loads of fun. And with Punto, you're almost guaranteed some butt fucking.

On a positive note, Cabrera is hitting like .450 since his arrival, and Souhan just said on the post game show that "he's not a good #2 hitter because he doesn't take a lot of walks." Not even kidding. Basically the definition of ratard. Either Dick or Bert said last week that before the trade, other than when Mauer was hitting second, the Twins combined for something like a .188 average in that spot. And you're complaining that he doesn't walk much? Fuck you dildo.

I'm pretty much cashing in at this point, I'll keep watching because it gives me something to bitch about and makes me feel like I belong down here in bed shitter country, but it's pretty much time to look forward to next season. However, if the White Sox and Tigers planes collide in mid-air, look out.