About Me

I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

TUESDAY #2704

Auction of the gun George Zimmerman used to kill Trayvon Martin in Florida in 2012 is canceled, after protesters barrage the site with fake multi-million dollar bids. Diane Hodges reports.

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I know you've all seen this by now.But I've never gotten a satisfactory answer to my question of why is someone charged with assault? If this had happened in the stands instead of the field, somebody would have gone to jail. Anybody got any input on this?

Another you've probably seen...That girl came to play.

> Facial recognition software can pick a person out of a crowd, but the vending machine can't recognize a dollar bill with a bent corner.

>Fuck this one guy in particular...And let this be a lesson to you people who say you don't need a helmet because "You are always careful." Fate fucked that guy for no particular reason.

Oh, look, here's another...

>I once wrote about testing an old school building to see if it could be used as a library.The test was to place the equivalent weight of the books in the room and measure the sag in the floor. They did it with barrels just like this, then filled them with water. Then they just pumped the water into the storm drain. I thought that brilliant.

>I this true?

>Ran across a website that delights in captioning photos. Here is an example.

>We are a story-telling species. And in every story there must be a bad guy. Think devil.

>I pride myself in my ability to spot stuff like this throughout the day...Oh, by the way, I have been in restaurants with paintings so bad I had to eat with my back to it. And that's true.

>This guy, Jack Douglas, must have seen some shit in his life.

>I like this because it looks so authentic...

>People have been solving problems since, oh, forever.

This guy had a problem and he looked around at the things he had to work with and invented a solution.

Same here...

Fucks left: 0How long will it take you to find what is so unusual about that photo? And I'm going to assume no one showed him how to do that.

Of course, with more resources, the better the fix...It's for landing on short runways.

And...

But now that we all have unimagined technology at our fingertips, the scope of invention is limitless...

But some inventions are bound to perform poorly. This flying school in North Korea...

>Pick up artists and garbage men should switch names.

>In his defense, his motorcycle broke down...

>When I was a kid I used to think "Drinking and driving" was driving while you drank anything. It took months for me to stop freaking out over my mom's grape soda.

>Spray tan tears won't go away.

>If Trump wins, I don't care how high the wall is, I'm leaving.

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>TELL ME ABOUT THE ANIMALS, GEORGE.Okay, Lenny.

Some people just like to be reminded of their true place on the food chain.

It looks just like those plastic hands on sticks to make your catch seem larger.

I like the way it expends the minimum amount of energy in seeking prey.And remember, it can get along very well while missing an arm or leg.

How long must it have taken him to teach them to do this?

The perfect cure for constipation...

>When you clean out a vacuum cleaner you become a vacuum cleaner.

>And lastly, this. Take your time.

Wait for it, damnit! That guy spent a lot of time making that just for us.

>I remember pranking my brother by making him wet the bed by sneaking into his room and putting his testicles in a bowl of warm water.