Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Ahead of your scheduled arrival tomorrow, I thought it would be only fair to give you a quick rundown of life here on the outside at this moment. The list is by no means exhaustive, but well..you're a newborn and there's no sense in overwhelming you with the crazy that is our life all at once. There's *plenty* of time for that.

So here we go: Life as a Homburg 101

What you need to know about your dad: he's amazing. he's smart and handy and funny and patient with your mama and your big brother. He has an uncanny ability to take Mama's vision (or rather a piece of furniture ripped out of the Pottery Barn catalog) and make it happen. With his own two hands! And for a much smaller price tag! You'll appreciate this skill when you're sleeping in your new crib. Don't blame Daddy for the fact that the crib isn't ready yet. My last minute bedrest sentence kind of messed with the timeline a bit. One other thing to know about Daddy: he's a pretty sound sleeper. So you'll want to cry really loud in his general direction in order to spend some quality time with him in the middle of the night.

About your big brother: he, like his daddy, is also amazing. He can make anyone laugh. He gives really good hugs. And high fives. He's also going to be pretty darn confused about your arrival. And probably pretty jealous. But don't worry, he loves you. He's just not so sure about this mama sharing thing.

About your mama: I cry. A lot. Especially when I'm not getting much sleep. And you probably can't tell the happy cry from the tired cry or the stressed cry, but I promise, I'm really happy. And even if I grumble at you when you wake me up at 3am, I'm still thrilled that you're here. We've waited a long time for you and the road hasn't been easy. I'll tell you the story some day, but there's no rush. We've got plenty of time and many many middle of the night feedings to spend together.

About your aunties: Mama doesn't have any sisters, but don't worry you are *not* missing out in the Auntie department. There is a slew of amazing women just waiting to get their hands on you! Be prepared to be snuggled. Those aunties play a big role in keeping Mama sane on a daily basis. So when you see Mama staring at her phone or a computer screen and giggling like a maniac, it's all good.

About your family: You may not have any really local relatives, but you still won the grandparent lottery. They'll be here to visit plenty and you'll learn quickly to adapt to car trips and plane flights. And not every kid has a Grandpa who lives around the corner from Mickey Mouse. You're a lucky little Smokey!

About our neighborhood: we scored big time on this one too! Your brother has a whole posse of playmates his age and now you're joining a new group of little brothers and sisters. You're not going to be able to get away with anything when you get older. Because all of those kids? Well, Mama knows their parents. And parents know how to tattle.

About food: your big brother introduced us to the world of food allergies. Please don't feel like you need to follow in his footsteps okay? We have had PLENTY of ER visits. Every family needs a human garbage disposal, so if you want to take on that role? Totally okay with me!

About sleep: now if you are looking for a way to be *just* like big brother? Well sleep is your best bet. AJ was a rockstar sleeper as a newborn. He probably spoiled me a little bit. I'm sure he can give you some pointers.

About pictures: your parents are photographers. And some of your mama's best friends are crafty creative memory keeping types. In short: you're hosed. You'll be overly documented. Get used to it. You'll also be a fixture on Facebook long before you are old enough to have your own account. I'll try to keep the really humiliating stuff just between us, okay?

What you need to know above all else: you are loved. By me. By your dad and your brother. By your family. By friends near and far. So many people are so excited to meet you, teach you, and learn from you. It's going to be a wild right, and I for one can't wait!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother's Day 2012 will forever be labeled nontraditional. It feels silly to say we have Mother's Day traditions around here, since this is only my third year celebrating, but for the past couple of years every Mother's Day has involved a trip to the green house to pick out flowers for the front yard and then an afternoon spent outside planting those flowers.

This year? No flowers. And almost no outside time for me until I convinced Karl I could "cheat" on my bedrest for just a couple of minutes. I enjoyed the perfect weather via the open window in our bedroom, serving out Day 3 of my complete bedrest. The boys went to the park for a while and Karl was kind enough to email me a couple of pictures of the fun I was missing. Something feels wrong about not spending Mother's Day together as a family. But Smokey needs some extra time to bake and for whatever reason my body has decided to mutiny this pregnancy. So bedrest it is.

No matter how the day was spent, I feel lucky to celebrate. Lucky that for the first time this year my sweet boy can call me Mama. (Even if most of the "Mamas" I heard today were of the "see Mama? Mama sad. So sad Mama" variety) Lucky that we are God willing just 10 days from meeting the baby that will make us a family of four. Lucky that we got another chance after our two losses. Lucky that I haven't lost my mind completely. Lucky that motherhood has brought me closer to many of my friends and brought new ones into my life. Lucky to be sharing this parenthood journey with a man who steps up when I need him most (like say when the dr calls and puts you on bedrest immediately and you've got an almost 3 year old) and who calms me down like no one else. Lucky that next year I will be trying to finagle Mother's Day photos with two squirmy little ones in my arms.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

When we first put AJ in daycare two days a week, I thought it would be fun to have control of the television again, to choose something other than Nick Jr, Sprout, or PBS Kids to serve as background noise. You know what? I think I prefer silence. There really isn't anything that great on tv during the day and the political ads do bad things to my blood pressure. So quiet it is.

I just spent 140 dollars at the grocery this morning on meat. Nothing but meat. One of the stores I don't often shop at was doing a one day only meat sale. So I dropped AJ off at school and headed over in the monsoon to see what I could find. $140 later and our chest freezer is full. I'm hoping that little trip will make meal planning post baby a little easier. Obviously I'll still have to grocery shop, but if I know what I'm working with, it should be easier to plan, no?

My favorite AJ-ism of late? "I okay!" I currently hear it no less than 100 times a day for everything from your typical trip and tumble (someone often runs faster than his feet can carry him) to the catastrophic crash of something falling off the counter (or a tv falling off the dresser, but that's another story). Sometimes it is said for my benefit. "I okay Mama!" as he stands up after eating it on the way to his room. Other times it is clearly an affirmation to himself, "I okay" as he inspects himself for any bumps or bruises that might need a kiss before he carries on.

I could really use a confetti cake blizzard right about now. Another reason it is better to keep the tv off. Commercials make me hungry. And never for things I should actually be eating.

Friend visits are good for the soul. Loved spending a few hours with the magnetic Miss Angie and a very sleepy little Charlie. It is somehow less scary to say the things you are worried about outloud than to keep repeating them in your head.

My house is not clean enough for Week in the Life. I don't think it ever will be, at least not until the kids are old enough to be slave labor. I know Ali would probably say something about embracing imperfection and it being "Okay", but really, when I look at the daily photos she posts I want to know where the clutter is. Because if I set my camera on the kitchen table and did a self timer shot do you know what you would see? A pile of dishes next to the sink (because the sink is full and the dishwasher needs to be unloaded) and a stove that could use a good scrubbing.

I would like to buy some cute shoes. I can't buy cute clothes right now because of Smokey. But shoes? I would like some. Now if only my feet weren't so swollen. Flip flops are not appropriate for every situation.

Do I need a double stroller? If I buy one will I want to use it or will it be so overwhelmingly huge and heavy that I'll just want to stay home instead?

How come 8 hours at home trying to entertain AJ passes so slowly, but 8 hours with him at daycare and me trying to accomplish a few things off the to do list seems like not enough time?

I'm more scared of labor this time than I was with AJ. Fear of the unknown has nothing on fear of the "holy crap I remember how much that hurt I'm not sure I want to do it again."