The day I first saw the headline about alleged nude frolics in Teluk Kampi, part of the Taman Negara Forest Reserve in Teluk Bahang, Perak last week, I have to say that my first reaction was envy that Malaysian is blessed with a climate is so conducive to such fun activities year-round.

Because in Sydney right now it’s mid-winter, and thus what’s known in the vernacular as “brass monkey” weather, so those of us given to skinny-dipping, skinny-sunning and skinny-people-watching at any of the local locations down here where these activities are perfectly legal have months to wait before stripping off.

So the Teluk Kampi event could well have proven quite a lure to those of us living in less tropical climes, and a sorely-needed boost to what has thus far, let’s face it, proven a far-from-fantastic Visit Malaysia Year 2014.

But any such illusion of Malaysia as a desirable nudist destination was of course immediately shattered by the all-too-predictable shock, horror response from Malaysia’s self-appointed guardians of propriety and morality.

In fact it drew such a storm of outraged sanctimony down on both the nude frolickers themselves and the Lim Guan Eng-led opposition government of Penang state that I quickly came to suspect that the entire event was a fake staged by agents of the ruling BN regime.

Because it simply didn’t, and increasingly doesn’t, ring true. Starting with claims that activities in what were billed online as the “Penang Nudist Sports Games 2014” included such bizarre events as body-painting, Gangnam-style horse dancing and crab-walking.

However many weird and wonderful sights I’ve seen in all my years of hanging around beaches, nude and otherwise, I’ve never witnessed anything remotely resembling any of these activities, and I don’t believe anyone else has either.

They are clearly the products of a fevered but not especially fertile imagination. As was the subsequent story concocted by the BN regime-friendly ‘newspaper’, Sinar Harian, which claimed that its reporters who had visited the site of the alleged nude frolics were “sure” that some of these activities “may have been carried out in front of a surau.”

This story was clearly yet another BN fabrication, like the fake Anwar Ibrahim “sex tape” and the false “discovery” of porcine DNA in Cadbury chocolates and other such scams designed to outrage Muslim sensibilities and portray the God-forsaken and outright criminal BN regime as the defender of Islam.

It was highly suspicious that, as Penang Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng stated, Taman Negara, the national park in which the alleged outbreak of nudism occurred, is under the jurisdiction of not his state government but the federal Ministry of Natural Resources and Environment, and that a Taman Negara ranger was not only aware of the group’s activities, but actually helped light its campfire.

But BN had an alibi for the apparent collusion of its feral federal park ranger with the nudist group and its hi-jinx. Umno Teluk Bahang assemblyman Shah Headan Ayoob Hussain Shah admitted that the ranger had been present, but attempted to explain this person’s failure to report the matter to his possibly having been “threatened into silence by the participants.”

“It is possible that he was threatened as he was the only one on duty at the time. I can’t reveal who he is, as he is scared now,” Shah Headan claimed, adding that “if indeed this has happened, then the group has committed two wrongs – being nude in public and threatening an officer on duty.”

Meanwhile, Penang Umno Chief Zainal Abidin Osman made a bumbling attempt to pin the blame on the opposition by posing the rhetorical question whether the nudists “were emboldened by the fact that Penang is under the control of a DAP-led state government and therefore felt free and unafraid to participate in the ‘nude sports’ event, which he described as “an insult of the highest order” that has “tarnished the name of Penang and Malaysia.”

Which inevitably evokes the further question of how the name of Malaysia could possibly be further tarnished by these clearly faked or at least staged nude frolics than it has been for decades by the BN regime’s endless displays of naked greed, corruption, criminality, injustice and incompetence.

And despite desperate attempts to cloak all this nakedness with a draconian Official Secrets Act, displays of official hypocritical sanctimony and systematic barefaced falsehood by everyone from the prime minister on down to the professional liars of the so-called “mainstream” media and paid pro-regime bloggers, BN is increasingly being stripped bare for all the world to see.

And demonstrations of naked hypocrisy like current regime-sponsored protests against the latest Israeli atrocities in Gaza, and misguided associated attacks on such alleged “supporters” of Israel like McDonald’s and HSBC, only serve to further expose the moral, ethical and intellectual nakedness of BN.

As many others have asked before me, if Barisan Nasional in general, Umno in particular and such exhibitionist organisations as Perkasa, Isma and Tun Dr Mahathir’s phony Perdana Peace Foundation are so sincere in their protests on behalf of humanity, why are they so selectively and nakedly anti-Jewmanity?

The answer being, of course, that Mahathir’s pretended love of peace is just a pretext for his lust for anti-semitism, which, given his naked narcissism, is likely borne of his resentment at the Jews’ biblical identification of themselves as the “chosen people” when in his mind he’s the chosen person.

And as for BN, Umno and their supporter and accomplices, their highly selective humanitarianism is nothing but a transparent attempt to cover-up their naked racism and sectarianism.

Hence the fact that, as Marina Mahathir, Josh Hong and no doubt others have already eloquently argued, while outrages committed by Israel and “the West” against Muslims are greeted by the Malaysian regime with naked outrage, atrocities by Muslims against both fellow religionists and those of other faiths in, as currently, Syria, Iraq, Sudan and Nigeria and elsewhere, go unnoticed.

But, thanks to such tragedies as the disappearance of MH370, the shooting-down of MH17 and a series of typical BN screw-ups like its ongoing failure to surrender a rape suspect to New Zealand and its implication in Australia’s long-running Securency scandal, Malaysia’s government is increasingly exposing itself as stark naked, and well overdue for being necked, or better yet nuked.