Thursday, December 2, 2010

Dear J. Crew

Dear J. Crew,

There are two things you probably don't know about me: 1. I wear your camp socks exclusively during these colder months, so props on that and 2. I'm not as big of a sweater-phile as these other bloggers. Anyhow, I recently got a pair of your new lightweight marled cotton/acrylic/nylon made in the USA socks in authentic red. Obviously, they are now my favorite pair of socks I have ever owned. My question is this, can you guys make a sweater out of these? I don't care if it's the same fabric blend or 100% wool. That doesn't matter to me. What matters is getting more of this incredible marled "authentic red" in my wardrobe. Seriously, it is that boss in person, but you probably already knew that. I'm thinking a boatneck knit or maybe a crewneck. But, ultimately, that doesn't really matter either. If you guys can make that happen I'd pay handsomely for the results. I'll keep my eyes peeled, but won't hold my breath.

How you expect anyone to take you seriously when you treat cotton blends and wool as an "either, or" is a mystery to me. Too much time shopping at the JCs and LECs of the world, I suspect -- cotton sweater sucker deals are a favorite trick of the overpriced "bargain" brands.

LAS I picked up this same pair a couple weeks ago and you obviously copied me. Even if people hate on the crew for not being authentic outdoorsy sock shit, they do better color combos on the socks than any "real" camp brand, and the shit's made in Vermont so whatevs.

A couple weeks ago I had to pull over on the highway to defecate. I didn't want to drop a bomb right on the shoulder, so off came my camp sock. I just held the sock wide open while I squatted down and released a solid turd. Little to no break. Case in point, that these things absorb even the filthiest messes.