Comments on: "...a reading that can only be described as sensual."http://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual/
Comments on MetaFilter post "...a reading that can only be described as sensual."Thu, 17 May 2012 12:54:26 -0800Thu, 17 May 2012 12:54:26 -0800en-ushttp://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss60"...a reading that can only be described as sensual."http://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual
<a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/embed/6770096/gilbert-gottfried-reads-fifty-shades-of-grey">Gilbert Gottfried reads <em>Fifty Shades of Grey</em></a> <small>(NSFW audio)</small>post:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044Thu, 17 May 2012 12:50:03 -0800OverlappingElvisgilbertgottfriederoticaaudiobookcollegehumorsmutsensualBy: ZaneJ.http://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350415
Well, MY nipples puckered.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350415Thu, 17 May 2012 12:54:26 -0800ZaneJ.By: JHarrishttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350417
This reminds me of one of the most amazing things I've ever heard on actual television: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBPAQ6CJvTo">Golbert Gottfried hawks Shoedini</a>, a $15 levered wedge on a pole they sold to the elderly so they won't have to bend over to take their shoes off. "It's not just a shoehorn, it's <i>a shorehorn on a stick!</i>"comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350417Thu, 17 May 2012 12:55:27 -0800JHarrisBy: PinkMoosehttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350463
i found this funnier than i should havecomment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350463Thu, 17 May 2012 13:24:48 -0800PinkMooseBy: lekvarhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350493
I wish I wasn't at work because there is nothing I want more than this. <em>Nothing.</em>comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350493Thu, 17 May 2012 13:41:03 -0800lekvarBy: lampshadehttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350501
That was pretty good. GG cracks me up when he is on point...which is almost all of the time.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350501Thu, 17 May 2012 13:45:17 -0800lampshadeBy: ookhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350516
This would have been much, much, much funnier if they'd left out the reaction shots, the fake informercial voice, the title overlays.... everything in fact.
It's Gilbert Gottfried reading 50 Shades of Grey. It doesn't need anything else.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350516Thu, 17 May 2012 13:51:56 -0800ookBy: Metroid Babyhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350517
I always associate Gilbert Gottfried with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa4YKZB6jG0">that annoying Microsoft Office paper clip</a>. The only thing better than Gottfried reading <em>Fifty Shades of Grey</em> would be Gottfried-as-Clippy interrupting with "It looks like you're reading porn! Would you like help?"comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350517Thu, 17 May 2012 13:51:58 -0800Metroid BabyBy: zarqhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350522
<a href="http://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350516">ook</a>: "<i>This would have been much, much, much funnier if they'd left out the reaction shots, the fake informercial voice, the title overlays.... everything in fact.</i>"
See, I thought all of that was what made it funny. Gottfried on his own would have been... well, I don't know what. Way creepier.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350522Thu, 17 May 2012 13:55:08 -0800zarqBy: tildehttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350527
<em>I always associate Gilbert Gottfried with that annoying Microsoft Office paper clip . The only thing better than Gottfried reading Fifty Shades of Grey would be Gottfried-as-Clippy interrupting with "It looks like you're reading porn! Would you like help?"</em>
"I don't have the phrase 'safe word' in my spell checker! If you are connected to the Internet, you can go online to browse or search for the most up-to-date Help, templates, training, and other online content.
What do you want to do?
- Choose between offline and online content in the Help window!
- Temporarily browse or search offline or online content in the Help window!
- Get online content from Office.com!"
<sub>GG would have made Clippy waayyy more acceptable in my book.</sub>comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350527Thu, 17 May 2012 13:57:12 -0800tildeBy: jeatherhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350529
It is more awesome when you don't watch him and you picture Iago animated here.
Also, here's <a href="http://youtu.be/on3JCwnwHbU">Ellen reading it</a>.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350529Thu, 17 May 2012 13:57:27 -0800jeatherBy: MtDewdhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350530
Yeah, the reaction shots were great, but I liked his telling of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnbHGmd8XNE&feature=related">The Aristocrats<small> (NSF just about anywhere)</small></a> better.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350530Thu, 17 May 2012 13:57:40 -0800MtDewdBy: Shepherdhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350533
<em>Gottfried on his own would have been... well, I don't know what. Way creepier.</em>
Two hours of Gottfried on a couch, quietly reading 50 Shades of Grey to himself, punctuated by only the occasional eyebrow raise and muted "hmm!" or "well!" would be the <em>greatest thing of all time</em>.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350533Thu, 17 May 2012 13:59:14 -0800ShepherdBy: Metroid Babyhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350557
<em>I don't have the phrase 'safe word' in my spell checker!</em>
It's just like Clippy not to recognize safewords. I think you had to threaten him with a baseball bat before he'd get off your screen.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350557Thu, 17 May 2012 14:10:36 -0800Metroid BabyBy: CynicalKnighthttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350605
After my bitterly cynical but admittedly close-minded comment was deleted from the original FSoG thread, this post is like a soothing balm on my soul.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350605Thu, 17 May 2012 14:48:26 -0800CynicalKnightBy: suburbanbeatnikhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350606
Man, this was great! I burst out laughing at this. The Ellen clip was amusing, but I didn't love it as much as GG here.
Iago saying "vagina"... that made my day. I'm not sure what that says about me.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350606Thu, 17 May 2012 14:49:36 -0800suburbanbeatnikBy: jonmchttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350615
Here at the bookstore, Fifty Shades of Grey is flying out the door. We're considering a promotion where anyone who buys one gets a hard smack. Y'know, like the toy In your Happy Meal.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350615Thu, 17 May 2012 14:56:04 -0800jonmcBy: phong3dhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350617
I hope the producers realize that a true audiobook of this would sell like mad.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350617Thu, 17 May 2012 14:56:50 -0800phong3dBy: zarqhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350623
<a href="http://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350615">jonmc</a>: "<i>Here at the bookstore, Fifty Shades of Grey is flying out the door. We're considering a promotion where anyone who buys one gets a hard smack. Y'know, like the toy In your Happy Meal.</i>"
You'd just encourage them.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350623Thu, 17 May 2012 14:59:59 -0800zarqBy: zarqhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350627
<a href="http://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350533">Shepherd</a>: "<i>...would be the greatest thing of all time.</i>"
Masochist. ;)comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350627Thu, 17 May 2012 15:00:46 -0800zarqBy: benito.strausshttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350648
Now I want a "Read this text in Gilbert Gottfried's voice" plug-in for my computer. I can't imagine anything that wouldn't be improved by it.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350648Thu, 17 May 2012 15:14:11 -0800benito.straussBy: elizardbitshttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350660
I wish Shatner would do a dramatic reading of this entire execrable series.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350660Thu, 17 May 2012 15:22:35 -0800elizardbitsBy: carsonbhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350696
I'm reading this book right now and in my head the main characters sound like Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Ackroyd in <i>Exit to Eden</i>.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350696Thu, 17 May 2012 15:51:47 -0800carsonbBy: urbanwhalesharkhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350710
This is hysterical. I love me a bit of Gilbert G.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350710Thu, 17 May 2012 16:06:41 -0800urbanwhalesharkBy: cog_natehttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350723
I'm going to stay UP ALL NIGHT listening to this.
<small>aaaaahhh, hard drinking on a schoolnight.</small>comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350723Thu, 17 May 2012 16:22:05 -0800cog_nateBy: ookhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350738
<i>Gottfried on his own would have been... well, I don't know what. Way creepier.</i>
Precisely!comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350738Thu, 17 May 2012 16:36:10 -0800ookBy: discopolohttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350872
Why not just have him read Penthouse Letters and forchrissakes let us ladies just have this one thing without ruining it!!!!!
I'm looking for the PDF of the fanfiction because paying 10 bucks w/o knowing which one book has the juiciest scenes is a ripoff in my book.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350872Thu, 17 May 2012 18:49:16 -0800discopoloBy: discopolohttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350875
Also I have no problem with either Jon Hamm or Joel McHale reading it.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350875Thu, 17 May 2012 18:50:31 -0800discopoloBy: livinglearninghttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4350936
Ellen's version wasn't as funny as Gilbert's. Maybe it's because it's hard to take Gilbert so seriously when he has a voice like that. But, I couldn't help but laugh at Ellen using the props to create sound effects. Oh man, even that sounds bad.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4350936Thu, 17 May 2012 20:04:04 -0800livinglearningBy: Meatbombhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351060
Just curious: is this more or less his "real" speaking voice? Any clips of him speaking normally / out of character? Love him, and wondering how much of an act the character he portrays is...comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351060Thu, 17 May 2012 22:50:12 -0800MeatbombBy: benito.strausshttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351086
I remember coming across a file somewhere claiming to be his natural voice. It sounded nothing like the voice we're used to. I'll see if I can find it.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351086Thu, 17 May 2012 23:11:04 -0800benito.straussBy: not_on_displayhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351109
<a href="http://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351060">Meatbomb</a>: "<i>Just curious: is this more or less his "real" speaking voice? Any clips of him speaking normally / out of character? Love him, and wondering how much of an act the character he portrays is...</i>"
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdbElWMnkyY">
Here's Gilbert using his real voice on the Howard Stern Show.</a> I think there are more examples. He didn't use THE VOICE when he was a Saturday Night Live cast member either.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351109Thu, 17 May 2012 23:31:42 -0800not_on_displayBy: davejayhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351137
That shoehorn on a stick link eventually led me to <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=hollywood%20squaresvyou%20fool&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CFIQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DozEIsWWngJo&ei=_Pe1T9_CCoSPiALB_NTPBg&usg=AFQjCNGAxVQOu_HJj_vsNOc8EVQ3DJbSxg">this</a>, which is just wonderful.
Also, kids love a good Gilbert Gottfried impression, take it from me.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351137Fri, 18 May 2012 00:22:33 -0800davejayBy: Mezentianhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351160
<em>I wish Shatner would do a dramatic reading of this entire execrable series.</em>
And he would too.
I'll chuck a few bucks into a Kickstarter.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351160Fri, 18 May 2012 00:56:44 -0800MezentianBy: Mezentianhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351162
On reflection: I'll quintuple it if we can get Takei, Nichols and Nimoy to record some character voices.
Al Bester must not sully himself.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351162Fri, 18 May 2012 00:58:30 -0800MezentianBy: angrycathttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351375
Okay, what the fuck is it about this book? Is it like Anais Nin but more tame insofar nobody's having sex with their father, or something?comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351375Fri, 18 May 2012 06:50:33 -0800angrycatBy: bitter-girl.comhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351386
Fred Armisen has to play Jose in the audiobook, though, because every damn time that ridiculous character appeared in the books, I just heard Armisen saying: "aiiiiii dios mio!" in that on SNL character voice he does.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351386Fri, 18 May 2012 06:57:10 -0800bitter-girl.comBy: bitter-girl.comhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351388
(and for the record, I was encouraged to "take one for the team" and suffer through those books...they were AWFUL!)comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351388Fri, 18 May 2012 06:57:58 -0800bitter-girl.comBy: 0bs01337http://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351486
I didn't watch the video yet, but read every comment in gilbert's voice in my head.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351486Fri, 18 May 2012 08:02:24 -08000bs01337By: newdaddyhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351503
Can we somehow get Siri to read it?comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351503Fri, 18 May 2012 08:10:31 -0800newdaddyBy: benito.strausshttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4351507
<cite>&gt; and for the record, I was encouraged to "take one for the team" and suffer through those books</cite>
Unless "team" refers to a book club you're in, I'm having a hard time imagining what kind of sport you participate in.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4351507Fri, 18 May 2012 08:13:09 -0800benito.straussBy: ovvlhttp://www.metafilter.com/116044/a-reading-that-can-only-be-described-as-sensual#4352707
<em>I'm reading this book right now and in my head the main characters sound like Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Ackroyd in Exit to Eden.</em>
I almost read this as 'Last Exit to Brooklyn'.comment:www.metafilter.com,2012:site.116044-4352707Fri, 18 May 2012 20:17:43 -0800ovvl