Mar 10, 2010

Am I doing the right thing?

I let go. I gave up. I feel empty and lost, yet strangely at peace. The drama of the past month or two is shifting. The dark clouds hanging over me are shifting. That's a good thing, right? I feel calmer. Yet my heart is aching. I feel like the skies are clearing up for me. Yet I still want to curl up in the fetal position, somewhere dark, and cry it all out. But life just doesn't work that way. You have to hold your head high and keep on fighting. So here I am. fighting to find myself. Once again. Fighting for a better life. Once again. To think I actually thought I was so close. It was in my reach. I won't be so stupid again. I hope... Famous last words, huh?

there are two ways to react to what may happen. or is happening. to react or to not react. you will notice eventually that the latter actually works. so, just walk. don't try to run or think you are crawling.

About Me

I am a daughter, an aunt, a confidant, a best friend. I am a fighter, a brunette, a lover, a nerd, a lasting impression. I am a stubborn ass, a smart ass, a cute ass, a pain in the ass. I am a cowgirl, a sports fan, a music fanatic, a writer. I am a wanderer, a homebody, a talker, a hermit. I am a port in life's storm, an unfinished story, a mystery. I am a winner, a loser, a sinner, a God-believer. I am a worker, a doer, an achiever, a promise-keeper. I am a vision, a horizon image, a last-minute decision. I am a life-saver, a traffic-stopper, a world-shaker. I am a quiet night, a warm smile, a spirit-lifter. I am a smoky fire, a wink of the eye, a home. And while I firmly believe I am a better me than anyone could ever be, why do I feel like the girl on bended knee that no one can see?