* BONUS BEATS * BONUS BEATS * BONUS BEATS *

What the fuck was I doing at a Kool-Aid x Reebok collaboration launch party.

NYC Wednesday Obama bitches. You should already know.

I’m a little mad with Kool-Aid for compromising their brand with this collaboration. I don’t think any sneaker brand could really do Kool-Aid justice as consumer legacy equals. This is Kool-Aid we are talking about here. That shit has quenched the thirst of Americans since the Civil War. I don’t know. Maybe.

My point is that whenever you see some kid drinking a red liquid you automatically yell out “Kool-Aid”. Whether that shit is Flavor Ade, Sunny D or blood, it doesn’t really matter. Kool-Aid has the block on lock. I feel like they traded in their brand for a handful of wacksauce beans. Reebok has been busy making rapper knockoff sneakers. The S Dots were fake Gucci classics and the G-Unit shoes were bootlegg Rod Lavers.

Somebody at Kool-Aid should have done the knowledge. Who runs that shit anyhoo? If a sister isn’t running at least the R & D division the people at Kool-Aid should kill themselves. My moms made the first “vitamin water”. It was a skinny package of Kool-Aid with the last bit if sugar we had in the house. I didn’t give a fuck as long as it was red. I didn’t care what they were serving up at the Obama either. As long as it was alcohol. And it was. Dewars bitches.

The venue was a sneaker store across the street from Bryant Park. The same Bryant Park which hosts the tents for Mercedes-Benz fashion week. It was fashionable and sexy. A nice little precursor for the upcoming spring summer season. Take a look for yourselves…

The summertime is always mad energizing like a whiff of Tinkerbell’s stank to Peter Pan, and GOD bless the child that got its own.

After the fellas left the Kool-Aid party and motivated to the next Obama someone was rumored to have had a full container of Jamba Juice.

Jamba Juice will not make you fresher.

Jamba Juice will not give you street cred.

Jamba Juice is losing by more than fifty superdelegates.

Pinkberry > Jamba Juice

DP definitely drinks the red Kool-Aid, but never, ever, EVAR does he sip the Jamba Juice.

This shit is simple in the crap music fantasy business. You can basically do whatever you want to do. You can sign Fifty Cent and Ja Rule to your label and make them into an R & B group with Amy Winehouse. I might start the cRap Music Fantasy League again if I get some paper from someone that makes managing the game worth my time. And when ‘if’ turns into a fifth I will be drunker than muvv.

So this joint I am doing right here is a freebie. I’m gonna intern at Atlantic since I hear they need some A & R help now that Y.L.G. has started his own media company (read: a blog AND MySpace page). I remember the old Atlantic recording studios at 1841 Broadway. Back in those days a young Guillermo Xavier Dominguez, that’s Billy X. Sunday to y’all, worked as a mailroom gopher for an architecture firm.

All kinds of musical talent would come to the studios to record, Steve Winwood, Billy Ocean, Carly Simon, Hall AND Oates. Those were the golden days of Hip-Hop. I think Barney Rubble recorded his Fruity Pebbles rap song in those studios. I wish I could have recognized back then that rap music would become so damn fruity? I would have invested in Fruit Roll Ups [ll].

So here we are twenty years later and Atlantic is still in the business of making fruity music. I’ve got nothing against Lupe or T.I. These dudes are ultimately company men, like myself. If making music about bullshit increases the companies bottom line then these guys are all in. But for how much longer will rap be a viable music commodity? Not too much longer methinks. So what do you do if you manage Lupe and T.I. in real life? If you managed these guys in the cRap Music Fantasy League you would hope they tried to rob a bank together and were caught. That would net you a lot of points. In real life, not so much.

In real life I would tell T.I. to use his government name on his next album. Not like Fifty did with ‘Curtis’, but to use his name Clifford Harris as his artist name. I’d call the album ‘Federal Arrest’ and have a picture of T.I. dressed in a FedEx outfit delivering a package to Tip. The concept of this album is the detail of feelings before his public fall. As Clifford Harris he could rhyme out the pathos of T.I. and Tip. Sonn would have a third alter ego based in reality. Real reality too, not that rapper reality which isn’t really real at all.

The main reason that T.I. has to adopt the Clifford Harris moniker is because of all the shit he is going to do outside of rap. I think T.I. can be a more effective brand pitchman than even Jay-Z. Think about this, LL Cool J and Jay-Z are both on the other side of 40yrs old and we still refer to them as their stage names. Is Jay-Z going to be 80yrs old and still using that stage name? Yes. When he had the chance to go in hard as Shawn Carter he didn’t do it. Steve Stoute must have convinced him that he would be rapping forever.

T.I. isn’t going to rapping forever. There is one more album after ‘Paper Trail’ and then dude is going Hollywood. First off, there’s no fucking money in rap music anyhoo. Maybe on tour, but who wants to be on the road 10 months a year? Other than the Roots. Copp that ‘Rising Down’ today. You get my point though. Plus if T.I. pulls in Cliff Harris there’s the chance of a T.I. vs. TIP vs. Cliff Harris single.

I almost copped the black Air Max pictured above at A.J. Wright for thirty cent. I ended up passing on them because they aren’t my favorite colorway for these shoes.

I fucks with the ‘Brazilian Favela’ colorway. Straight Bahia on you bitches. Summer icy white with royal blue trimmings. Damn I need these.

These joints were called the Air Max Sensation. This was CHRIS WEBBER’s sneaker for his second year in the league when he was still with Golden State. Back then WEBBER was the next OSCAR ROBERTSON. He could dribble, pass and shoot. Even though WEBBER isn’t in the league anymore his shoes still rep hardbody.

These were the b-ball edition of the Air Max ’95 platform. KEN GRIFFEY and NEON DEION had similar shoes. These joints here are the business.

Not CHRIS PAUL, everybody loves CP3. CHRIS PAUL and the New orleans Hornets are about to send MARK CUBAN and his Dallas Mavericks into the offseason. Some sportswriters are going as far as anointing CHRIS PAUL the savior of the NBA.

CHRIS WEBBER… Not so much.

The great and oft-maligned CHRIS WEBBER retired this season from the Golden State Warriors. That is where his career in the NBA began. CHRIS WEBBER has made an interesting and inglorious trip through the NBA.

That’s why I hope he ends up being a first ballot Hall of Famer.

Sheeeeeeeeit, for no other reason than his Weed Owning cred. Peep game…