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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

According to The Repository Of All Knowledge And Wisdom In Our World (aka, Wikipedia) today might be a Valentines-ish type of day in some remote corner of the world or potential worlds. In fact, I'm almost 63% sure that today is, in fact, "Kissing Day" in the western region of Estonia.

Or was that on Epsilon Ceti B II?

Whichever, the point is that I can post old Valentine's cakes without fear of the "fact" police getting all up in my cakey "business."

Now, kiss me, you piece of...chocolate!

After all, you alone hold my heart:

Not to mention my bowels.

What, still not convinced? Then allow me to inscribe a few sweet nothings for you.

[wink]

[finger gun]

[double wink + finger gun combo]

[licking fingers and smoothing eyebrows]

SO...are you a puddle of oozing desire yet?

No?

Ok, time to break out the big guns:

[tongue waggle]

(You know, whether you read that as a command or an adjective, it's equally romantic.)

I would love to give someone I was ticked off at the first cake: "Kiss my s***!" But if I did, I wouldn't be a good follower of the wisdom of the G8 philosopher Sun Shin, the author of "The Arm of Wart." But people often mistake his sayings for those of Confuse-us.

My brain exploded over that first one. Ewwwwwww kissed by a pile of poo lol. And come on they can try and spell check when they write on cakes and cookies..can't they? At least none of these was sorry for giving anyone herpes lol.

Just like I have never gone in the ocean without thinking of a great white shark after seeing JAWS, so too will I never eat another Hershey's Kiss without thinking of that smiley-face, google-eyed, warm-looking turd of chocolate on that first "Kiss Me" cake!!!