Whenever I’m having a bad dayat the malltrying to kill time feeling the urge, I visit the local pet store or shelter to play with puppies.

The first puppy I ever played with was an Australian shepherd. He was such a cutie. And he loved me. The feeling was mutual.

I played with that puppy for over an hour. I even named him. I called him “My Australian Shepherd.”

Because I’d never had a dog before, I was scared of the responsibility (mainly the poo), so I had limited options.

Convince Kiefer to adopt My Aussie.

Convince my parents to adopt him.

Kiefer declined (that’s the real reason I broke up with him), and my parents declined as well (I knew they never really loved me).

That left only one option: Me.

So I decided that if such an adorable puppy was still there the next day, it was fate. He was meant to be mine. Then I found out My Aussie cost $1,200. Thank goodness someone else adopted him, and I ended up with Esme the cat, who was roughly $100.

Since I lost My Aussie, I’ve become a bit of a puppy whore. Not only do I visit the pet store frequently, I also like to play with friends’ dogs.

In fact, if you don’t have a dog, I can’t be friends with you unless…

You’re super cool and awesome.

You buy me ice cream.

You know about Blarney’s dog Murphy and my brother’s dog Percy the Poodle, but now I’d like to introduce you to the new dog in my life, Princess’s dog Jack.