Eric B and Rakim defect to UKIP

David Cameron has had to endure yet another blow to his credibility this morning as news broke that 1980s rap and DJ duo Eric B and Rakim have defected to UKIP.

Political expert Nick Robinson told us “They actually can’t vote themselves as they come from Long Island, New York and as far as we’re aware they still live there. We’re not even sure if they’ve even been to Britain but in times of austerity measures and the difficult job of cutting the deficit, their mantra of Paid in Full is an attractive proposition for whichever party they join.”

Indeed speaking on their 1987 song ‘Paid in Full’, the very pragmatic vocalist Rakim told us “Me and Eric B in a nice big plate of fish, which is my favourite dish, but without the money it’s still a wish.”

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has hailed the defection of the duo a victory for common sense, and would give the party a significant advantage in working out whether people have got soul or not.”People are tired of the constant flannel from Westminster and they want a party that knows whether people have got soul.” he explained,

Indeed speaking on their 1987 song ‘I know you’ve got Soul’, the ever down to earth Rakim explained “Been a long time. I shouldn’t have left you. Without a strong line to step to.”

David Cameron has avoided calls to respond to the news in rhyming couplets accompanied by a repetitive beat and sporadic ethnic wailing.