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The Andy Griffith Show

In a TV landscape littered with cop dramas you’ve got to be really impressive to stand out from the crowd. Unfortunately, The Andy Griffith Show retroactively does not do that. Compared to today’s police procedurals, Andy Griffith’s self-titled small town sheriff gig doesn’t stand up. Sure, there’s the nostalgia of seeing a TV show in black and white, but only for the first five seasons. The Andy Griffith Show gets a solid D grade. Perhaps with some improvements, this show would have stood the test of time.

This show was weighed down by family drama. Aunt Bea, Opie. Dead weight. TV audiences are looking for a bit more sizzle. Sheriff Andy only had a handful of girlfriends throughout all eight seasons. Where were the affairs? Where was the heat? If you are writing a reboot to the Andy Griffith Show take notes: ditch the fussy old lady and the little kid and add some more babes. Barney Fife should also have more girlfriends too but unlike Juanita we should see them on screen all the time and boy are they weird-looking. Really play up how Barney can not find anyone to date because they’re all crazy and weird. Think Two And A Half Men. The Andy and Barney dynamic should be more like Charlie and the other guy. That show should have ditched the kid, too.

There was no mystery! Cop shows need gritty crimes to solve. The writers had too much fun showing us friendly country characters and didn’t spend enough time coming up with horrible violent crimes for the sheriff-deputy team to solve. Maybe in later seasons there could be crimes with supernatural origins. You could have cross-overs with Law and Order and Supernatural. Hell, I’d watch that.

Finally, Sheriff Andy should have carried a gun everywhere. He’s a cop. With all the violence and killings going on now in Mayberry he’s going to need at least one gun. I’d say give him a big cool pistol and Barney carries a shotgun and some other weapons too. The Barney character should be less funny and more crazy. He’s a total weirdo psycho and that will get the laughs from the audience. Can Sheriff Andy even trust the guy? He’s unhinged! Also, Goober Pyle should have been introduced right away. Why did you keep him hidden away until season four? Goober was like the Scrappy Doo of Mayberry and we needed to see a lot more of him. Heck, he could even be a talking dog in one episode where a trickster demon transforms them all into stuff. Now that’s good television.