Imagine going in to McDonald’s and ordering a beef patty
that weighs exactly 3.7 ounces, cooked until the internal temperature is 142.3
degrees, then is served with 2/3 of a slice of whole-milk American cheese, on a
whole-wheat bun that is toasted at 400 degrees for 90 seconds, with 1
tablespoon of ketchup and one teaspoon
of mustard, and two slices of dill pickle exactly 3 mm thick placed 1 cm
apart on the bun.

That’s how I view people who drink coffee from places like
Starbucks. A coworker who wishes to remain anonymous came in this morning livid
that they had gotten her order egregiously wrong. It was not the hazelnut latte
with half a pump of syrup served at 170 degrees she ordered, but some
super-sweet cinnamon vileness. Not being a coffee drinker, the fast food analogy
is the closest I can come to understanding the specificity of these
preferences.