Bring out the furs because hell has frozen over. It’s like Gstaad down there, without all the motherfucking idiots I’m trying to avoid.

I never thought I’d say this—which, no, is not a joke about my still-developing vocal cords, you insensitive piece of shit—but I think my mother out there has listened to me too much. You hear that, Ma? Know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to nag your army of inattentive Claire’s employees to buy your goddamn bronzer. Radar Online, please take it (far, far) away:

Nikki Sixx took exception to Kim Kardashian‘s timing Monday night, when the reality TV queen plugged one of her beauty products as news spread of the tornado in Oklahoma City that killed at least 51 people, 20 of whom were children.

Here’s how it all unfolded: After Nikki posted an ad for Red Cross relief on his Instagram, Kim wrote shortly thereafter, “Love that I can gradually build the perfect bronzed glow I want with #Kardashian Sun Kissed Tan Extenders.”

The Motley Crue wildman, perhaps fed up with the vapid vibe the socialite gave in the face of calamity, shot back on his own account, “Pick your priority or pick your poison. Pretty embarrassing screenshot Kim. Aren’t your 15 minutes up?”

Without giving too much credence to wisdom spun from the narcotic-flashback-riddled brain of the Chris Kirpatrick to Tommy Lee’s Justin Timberlake, there is a lesson to be learned here, Ma. First: I’m not saying to turn away from the mirror—Jesus Hardee’s Chris, by all means, that is not the problem here. But if you could catch sight of a television in the background of your own reflection—a television turned to something other than E!—it might help get the one 80s rock star without a televised singing-competition coaching job off your back.

And two: “gradually”? Are you fucking kidding me with this? What is this, the M.I.T. linguistics department? Use fucking smaller words. Bigger words mean less bigger money, O.K. Ma?