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Saturday, October 20, 2012

And the Lord God Commands...

And the Lord God appeared to Katherine from a pile of dusty books dating back to the 1980's and spoketh to her: "Katherine! Heed my words!"

And Katherine opened her mouth in awe, resulting in a tremendous sneeze.

And the Lord God handed her a tissue and said in a voice like thunder, "Heed my words! As a river after a rainstorm floods the village, so, too, does the clutter in your home flood your mind and overtake your spirit. I command you to rid yourself of these burdensome belongings, these false gods that distract you from your true mission."

"But Lord," Katherine answered in despair, "how can I do that when I do not even know where to begin? This task you command of me is impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible!" boomed the Lord. "Have you forgotten I am with you always, even amongst the caps separated from pens, the CDs you've not listened to in more than six years, the basket you purchased at a yard sale, that same basket containing little but cleaning supplies that belong in your overflowing laundry room? Have you lost your faith? Do you think I would abandon you in your hour of darkness?"

"Lord," Katherine said in a small voice, fearing the Lord's wrath. "Lord, where will I get the energy and strength?"

"I shall provide you with the motivation and will you require, for you are my child, and after, I shall reward you with Ibuprofen and a nap, for I am an understanding God and take pity on the sore of back. In addition, I shall provide your husband with the patience to endure your incessant chatter."

And so Katherine, with renewed faith in the Lord, purged her home of three pieces of furniture as well as the above mentioned basket, collecting piles of books she would later bring to the used book store from which she would receive credits to spend on inspirational readings and incentive prizes for her students.

For three-and-a-half hours, she toiled, consolidating files, adding empty boxes to the overflowing recycling bin, sweeping, dusting and confusing the pets. And when she felt she could not go on, the Lord God said to her, "Child, enough. You have done well. It is time to rest."

"My child," said the Lord, "for everything, there is a time--a time to de-clutter, a time to file and a time to rest. You have acted faithfully and have earned my benevolence. Go now to your comfortable couch and sleep, knowing you have obeyed my word and that your home will no longer be under the scrutiny of the health department."

And Katherine thanked the Lord, took her Ibuprofen and snuggled on the couch with the fuzzy, pink body pillow her husband had given her. For he, too, possessed wisdom, knowing a sleeping wife was a content and silent wife.