Attitude turnabout

We went to the child psychiatric the other day. There are so many things we have tried to do, but for some reason when the Dr. says it, difficult child listens--an authority figure from outside the home and all that.

He is supposed to get himself up on the a.m. with-his own alarm clock, and only 2 nice, happy voice reminders. After that, if he sleeps in, he misses school and stays home with-no TV, no video games. If he missed 20 days (unexcused), school rules are that he is held back a grade.
It's all about natural consequences.

We also suggested that difficult child put himself to bed with-o our nagging, and he didn't like that. I found it interesting and amusing, since he absolutely does NOT like to go to bed, and will play for hrs, read, do anything to prolong having to go to bed. I thought the nagging irritating him but he said he didn't mind it.
I think he just doesn't want to be alone. Also, I think he equated it with-losing his backrub (I often give him a backrub to get him to settle down).

So, last night I reminded him that he was going to get himself up in the a.m., and he balked.
"No! You have to help me. You know how important it is that I go to school. I can't be held back again; I was held back already last yr!"

Wow.
He jumped from 1 or 2 days of oversleeping, to 20 days, and being held back!
It's kind of funny, and very sweet. I told him he would still work toward that goal but we'd work on it together. He seemed happy with-that.
He got up this a.m. with-only one reminder.
Whew!

I am in the same situation with our difficult child son, 9. He will agree with the therapist, make so-called committments to do better--even suggesting ways he could improve! But, when we get home (almost as quickly as we get in our vehicle) he is back to the old behavior.

This morning, we had a meltdown. We all got up an hour later because his little brother woke up during the night causing me to sit with him for a bit. I fell asleep in his room, away from the alarm clock. Since this happened, I wasn't able to make breakfast like I normally do. He does NOT like change. He's eaten breakfast at school many times before with one of his buddies. I said (to his brother as well) breakfast would have to happen at school because it was time to leave.

As the expression goes: all h*** broke loose! He flat out told me he was not doing that and chaos ensued. From that point on, he refused to do anything else I asked. He threw his medicine in the floor, knocked over several cups--some full of water--in the floor, kicked his school bag, knocked over chairs. He called himself "stupid." He screamed he wished he'd never been born, that he hated me, hated himself.

We spoke with the school guidance counselor this morning and (of course) once we spoke with her, he was all smiles. She was kind enough to speak with me for quite a while.

It is so difficult to see this beautiful, wonderful, intelligent young boy that has so much potential be so unhappy.

As the expression goes: all h*** broke loose! He flat out told me he was not doing that and chaos ensued. From that point on, he refused to do anything else I asked. He threw his medicine in the floor, knocked over several cups--some full of water--in the floor, kicked his school bag, knocked over chairs. He called himself "stupid." He screamed he wished he'd never been born, that he hated me, hated himself.

We spoke with the school guidance counselor this morning and (of course) once we spoke with her, he was all smiles. She was kind enough to speak with me for quite a while.

It is so difficult to see this beautiful, wonderful, intelligent young boy that has so much potential be so unhappy.

Click to expand...

Hey Kissinggarden! How did you get my difficult child 1 to sleep over at your house? Whew is right!