Now. Battleworld. Deadpool is still under the impression that the heroes are dead. Just then the Lizard jumps at him, as Lizard is under the impression that Deadpool may be the one who broke Wasp’s heart. So did Deadpool get Magneto’s role from the original Secret Wars story? Deadpool admits to Wasp using and seducing him, so that doesn’t help matters. Deadpool ends up ripping off Lizard’s tail, which seems rather harsh.

A Few Days Earlier. Deadpool is with the X-Men as they prepare to leave the hero’s base for Magneto’s. We get some funny comments from Deadpool here. Storm states that they will bear no oppression and Deadpool chimes in that they will also not oppress any bears. Wolverine sees where this is heading and tells Deadpool that he isn’t a mutant, thus he shouldn’t be there. Deadpool defends himself – Wolverine stabs things, so does he. Storm has control over lightning but he can sense the electricity. Strangely, he states that he can’t teleport like Nightcrawler, which throughout his first ongoing, he was teleporting all over the place – so maybe that came with the Joe Kelly’s legendary run?

Xavier senses Spider-Man and we get that quick fight where Spider-Man defends himself against the entire X-Men, which still seems out of place.

or really, whenever he can bring up Spider-Man, he mentions how Spider-Man trounced the X-Men to great humorous effect.

Spider-Man runs off and Deadpool gives chase. Spider-Man wants to find the other heroes and snitch on the defectors.

Spider-Man enters a room full with shields, with images of events the series, both of the past and yet to come scenarios.

We get a pretty nice Deadpool v Spider-Man fight sequence. The fight ends with Spider-Man swinging Deadpool into the shields and he webslings away.

Deadpool grabs a shield and meets back up with Xavier and Wolverine. Xavier has mind wiped Spider-Man, so the X-Men’s plan is okay. Xavier senses some sort of psychic energy off of Deadpool’s sword. We get the image of Ryan Reynolds, as Deadpool, spoofing Burt Reynolds’ pose on the carpet in front of a fireplace.

Now. Deadpool is trying to talk sense into Lizard. Deadpool tells Lizard that he is trying to save the Wasp, which calms Lizard down.

That Time With The Mountain. The classic moment from Secret Wars 4, with the mountain being dropped on the heroes, including Deadpool. Hulk is holing it up as Reed tries to make a machine to free them. Deadpool takes on the role of angering the Hulk, which frees up Reed.

There is a fun gag about Deadpool trying to make Captain America jealous as Deadpool’s shield showed him pictures and all Cap’s shield does is be thrown. Reed takes the machinery out of Deadpool’s shield, which Deadpool is sure that Cap must be happy about that.

Now. Lizard tells Deadpool that Wasp fixed up Lizard’s arm, which is why he is so protective of her.

Earlier. Zsaji, the healer, is healing She-Hulk. She-Hulk sees that Deadpool is hurting but he is only hurting emotionally as he misses his shield. She tells him to go get healed, which Zsaji is just finishing up with Human Torch. She heals Deadpool, and with the cancer gone, he is handsome and mustachio. He picks her up and proclaims his love for her. We can see that Human Torch never got to bag her, so that probably means Colossus will not be falling for her either.

The issue ends with the shield flickering to life and showing Deadpool holding Zsaji in that classic Pieta pose.

Next issue promises to deal with Secret Wars 8 with the symbiotic black costume but on Deadpool! of course