Monday, 21 November 2016

Be There or Be Flare

I was talking to my wonderful Mum today about family, and poor
health, and flapper dresses amongst other things. But rather than dedicate my
blog to the beauty of a fringed frock, I should probably focus my attentions on
the former.

Family and the opinions of my family and friends have always
been very important to me. They have been the ones to whom I would turn when I had
a huge decision to make, or when I’ve made the wrong decision and need a
shoulder to cry on or a cave to retreat into. Of course the older we get the
more decisions we must make on our own, often without input (and the harder these
become). The love and support of family and friends is generally what gives us the
confidence to make these decisions and have the confidence in our own choices.

Some of these choices are hard. Possibly none more so than when we are in poor health and
must make decisions that may literally be life or death. When I was advised I should
have life-threatening surgery, the consequences of such an undertaking didn’t factor
into my decision. Maybe they should have; but if I were to consider I might’ve
left my mother without a daughter, I wouldn’t have been able to go under the
knife at all.

You see my health affects the people I love. I wish that weren’t
true but it is. The same way that any of us being ill affects people who love
us; the decisions I make about my health are essentially mine, but will affect
the lives of others regardless.

Were I a ‘healthy’ woman, I wouldn’t have to worry a lot of
things. I wouldn’t have to worry that I was causing stress and upset to those
who love me. I wouldn’t have to worry that I am unable to provide for my little
family and that my partner may be forced to pick up the slack. I wouldn’t have
to worry that I’m making others unhappy because I can’t do this, that, or the
next thing.

I wouldn’t have to worry about living and I could focus on doing just that. But I do, and I have
to face that day in day out – as do you. We all make the best of the hand we’ve
been dealt and I no longer wallow in the occasional misery of my situation as I
once did. I suppose this is just a meandering post really, but at the heart of
it it’s a reminder that the people who love us are SO important to our recovery
and general health-maintenance. Support and love is a boon to us and although
it may often seem we take you for granted, we appreciate you more than you can
know.

Often we just have a lot of worry spinning around in our heads
and we forget to say thanks for being there. So I think I speak for every ‘sick’
person when I say THANKS FOR BEING THERE xo