Monday, August 29, 2011

My New Normal

If you've ever watched Dr. Phil, he's always suggesting a "new normal" in the midst of any life changing event (whether it be good or bad). Not that I watch a bunch of trash talk TV, but he does have a good point if you think about it. Last week, Alpha Gamma McVey and I found new normal, one which I'm thoroughly enjoying. You see, Good Time Charlie and SirWhineAlot started all day kindergarten last Tuesday, along with Captain Competitive Monday in second grade. Which leaves me with an EMPTY house for 6.5 hours a day, for the first time in 8 years. A quiet, clean, organized, free-of-flying-objects house. I've had so many people ask me, "aren't you sad?". Which I usually reply, "Have you LIVED in my house these past 6 years?? Have you read my blog??" I did feel a wave of sadness last Monday morning thinking this was my last day to spend with the two of them before school. So off we went to Target and Coscto and my sadness very quickly disappeared as they engaged in a high speed game of tag through the aisles of Costco, accosting the sample ladies for just one more sample each, in EVERY aisle. There's nothing they love more than wide open spaces and free snacks. My sadness had quickly turned to annoyance by aisle 3, so off they went happily to school on Tuesday leaving me with a new found appreciation for sanity.

To really appreciate my normal, you must be aware of all the things that go on during a typical day with Alpha Gamma McVey. Of course, as in any house, there is the usual amount of fighting, bickering, whining, and cajoling. But here there are also items being parachuted off the catwalk upstairs, linen closets being unloaded with freshly folded sheets for forts, legos clogging my vacuum and filling up all the cracks in my couch, "potions" being made with shampoo, food dye, and whatever else they snuck out of the kitchen while I was trying to pee. After 77 days of summer with this trio, I was very close to losing my mind. Now I honestly do love to accompany them to all their summer swim meets, tennis lessons, playdates, etc. Yet the reality is that there is only so much summer fun I can possibly stand. This particular summer they took a liking to chalk drawing on the driveway. Who doesn't love when their kids draw cute pictures for them on the driveway?? I used to love when they'd draw me a rainbow, a house, a portrait of me looking like Chewbacca. (Good Time Charlie has told me I look like him because I also have long hair and a purse. Seriously.) This year they kept themselves extremely busy and quiet drawing for quite a few hours one day. I often praised them out the kitchen screen door, "you are drawing so nicely, thank you for not fighting, keep it up!" I should have known from past experiences that quiet and peaceful was NOT a good thing. When they were ready to show me, I walked out thinking I'd find all kinds of cute drawings, and that perhaps I should grab my camera, capture the kodak moment. They all 3 proudly stood on the driveway and explained that they had drawn "boobies and butts" all over the driveway. And they really were ALL over. It looked more like triple X porno driveway, and in that moment I just prayed and prayed for rain. In my old normal, we had a nice conversation about inappropriate drawings and then I cracked open a nice cold alcoholic beverage and prayed to the parenting gods. Sometimes a cold drink and a prayer is all a girl can do.

In my new normal, we get our clean clothes out of our dresser drawers and not off the piles on the dining room table that haven't made it upstairs yet. We have dinner which consists of something other than the left over food we brought home from the pool cabana the night before. Captain Competitive Senior has ironed shirts in his closet for the first time in 8 years. The legos have successfully stayed in the basement toy bin and GI Joe doesn't stare at me on the toilet anymore, he too has made it to his own bin somewhere outside of the bathroom. As for me, people always ask what is it I like to do with my time. To be honest, I have no idea what it is I like to do by myself all day. I went from being a kindergarten teacher one day, to a mom the very next. So peace and quiet has never really been in my repertoire. But I'm not complaining, I'm actually loving it. And I won't lie and say I miss them all day long. I love the noise and chaos at 3:30 when they get home, but I love my new normal during the day. And I thought you'd all like to know that I haven't yet gotten a call from the school about Good Time Charlie or Sir WhineAlot. Unfortunately we all know that all good things must eventually come to an end.............. STAY TUNED...............

Stephanie, I love it!! So funny about the boobies and butts. Macy is in first now and Camden is 4 and a half and will be in Kindergarten next year. Needless to say I am VERY excited about walking around on a lego free floor next year. I will still have to clean up after Kinsley, but reading your story gives me hope that I will one day have a "new normal" during the day! Yippee! Enjoy your alone time! :-)

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Former teacher, now stay at home mom. With 3 boys within 26 months (yes, there are twins in the mix), insanity is knocking at my door each day! If I couldn't laugh at my day to day life, I'd have to cry. Blogging is a bit like therapy after a long day, just cheaper. Hope you enjoy my stories!