Case Number 18365

THE CARETAKER

Facts of the Case

It's the night of Homecoming and three teenaged boys try to scare the pants
off their dates by taking them to an abandoned orchard, where a crazy caretaker
kept his wife captive in their house and eventually killed her. The caretaker
has not been heard from for sixteen years and it isn't long before he returns to
kill again.

The Evidence

The Caretaker serves up a good entry in the teen slasher genre in the
style of the classic '80s films, low on gore and high on predictability. We have
all the usual teen slasher standards: great looking kids, a creepy house, a
hokey backstory and spree of killings by an unknown murderer. We've seen this
formula in countless thrillers, but for those who love the genre, this is a
formula we don't mind watching over and over again as long as it somehow
works.

The Caretaker works and works well. I thoroughly enjoyed watching
this film, in the same way I enjoy watching episodes of Tales From The
Crypt. We know before pushing play what we are getting into and that we're
not kicking back for a night of Fellini. Like a Crypt episode, the acting
is exactly where it needs to be with good performances, but not heavy handed at
all. The production value is high with its creative lighting and well done
soundtrack, but the story is goofy enough that we aren't meant to take anything
seriously. Humor is spread thick between killings and the characters are
extremely familiar and likeable. The lead jock, Topher, is easily more obnoxious
than anyone I encountered in high school and I was itching to see him taken
out.

Along with the cocky teenage boys and token hot girls, we have a few truly
quirky characters that really add some flavor into the mix. The limo driver
(Jonathan Breck) creeps out the teens with sleazy demeanor. Early in the film,
he offers the front seat to one of the girls while periodically mentioning how
much he loves his own daughter. Jennifer Tilly (Monsters, Inc.) plays
Miss Perry, a horny teacher whose aim is to videotape herself with a student,
only to have it broadcast online. This, naturally, will propel her to celebrity
status, even though she knows jail time will be involved. Judd Nelson (Jay
and Silent Bob Strike Back) makes a brief appearance as the father of one of
the girls. While The Caretaker probably won't be seen by huge numbers,
I'd sit through it again before The Breakfast Club any day of the
week.

In the fashion of many great horror films, the killer has a special weapon
of choice. This particular killer uses a fruit picker to maim his victims, which
seems logical considering the setting. (If you are unclear on what a fruit
picker looks like, just imagine Freddy Krueger's metal blades on the end of a
pole.) Even more fun is the cheesy introduction to every killing, a grapefruit
rolls into the picture taking the future victim by surprise. With such an
unrelenting weapon, one would expect more blood in the picture, but there is
surprisingly very little gore in the film.

My DVD was a screener copy, so there were no extras to comment on aside from
a trailer. We get treated to a nice clean transfer, but only a 2 channel Dolby
soundtrack.

Closing Statement

The Caretaker is a fun, teen slasher film that doesn't try to be
something it isn't. I was expecting something awful, but was pleasantly
surprised. If your Netflix queue is already filled with horror films that the
general public has never heard of, then throw this one into the mix as well. It
might be worth the 83 minutes of your time, but don't expect a masterpiece.