Used to be told to “Hush” these thoughts of suicide that never seem to die. Walking unaffected with baggage that make others want to cry.

I know the truth yet for some reason I can’t stop this lie…I tell myself in the mirror.

“It’s not your fault. You are the monster your peers created.”

If that’s true then why must I stay heavily sedated.

Why not go all out on the world. Why not add to the darkness and turmoil?

Because I created myself.

If I told you I didn’t like being evil don’t believe me. If you see me helping others PLEASE don’t percieve me; to be a good guy or die by my hands.

I got a date with the devil so no, we can not make “plans.” Fuck people who do things like this for their “Fans”. I do this shit cause I hurt inside. I walked all the way to hell because heaven doesn’t give rides. Can’t seem to rid myself of this foolish pride, but could care less if you chose to confide. .

I was Angry at the world but I put it all on your name. Thinking back on it now it really was a shame.

You put up with emotionally heart wrenching pain. You withstood claims of crazy when clearly I’m whose insane.

I’m sorry I’ll never be able repress the urge to unload aggression in a negative way. I’m sorry “I’m sorry” is the only thing I can bring myself to say.

I Wish I could give you the world I promised to make yours. Wish I had the keys to all of lifes doors.

Love was above all else in dire times. Stood by me when I fell into a life of crime. Stood by me when I owned less than a dime.

Now when I achieve ..it’s hard to believe you are no longer mine.

Hope you catch the biggest fish in the sea. I hope he’s all the good that … you hoped was in me.

I Hope he fights for you like the wars we would wage. I hope ‘ya latest book can do more than turn a page. I hope you attain more than that 600 square foot cage. I hope you shine bright up on life’s big stage.

Last but not least I hope ya son’s hearts beats forever. Strong is the only thing to be in his endeavor. Couldn’t find a better way to say the things on my mind. Just hope ya give these words a few moments of ya time.