Notes on a transformation... or how one confused little girl ended up with far too many degrees in the search for where she belongs

Jun 8, 2007

Don't panic, don't panic, don't -

Still nothing. My stress levels are through the roof. Probably without reason, but still... I realise that my classmates and fellow bloggers do not understand what is happening to me, because they were clever enough not to wait until the last application round (I did have my reasons, namely, before the final round, I had this whole other life going on, one in which I was actually a productive member of society...) So let me explain.

Last week, I get the call that I've been admitted. (Fantastic!) After going on for 10 minutes about how wonderful my application was (really?!) I am told that it would be very nice if instead of starting in Fontainebleau, I went to Singapore. (Oh?) Apparently it's for my own good. (Ah.) Well, not actually, it's a question of there not being enough room. (Thought so.) So, what do I think? (Honestly, what I think is something along the lines of "Akgrstyapàidng%*$?????")I hesitated, really I did. But then, I figured that since I was paying a not insignificant sum of money to this school, I should maybe stick to my guns on the preferred campus thing. Especially because I totally fell for the whole "we can't force you, it's completely your call" speech. Super, my call is Fontainebleau, then.

And that's where things all of a sudden got tricky. Lots of humming and hahing, well, we'll see what we can do, calls have to be made, stars checked for proper alignment, a few sacrificial lambs slaughtered, you understand... But we'll get back to you very soon, in a couple days, don't worry about it.

And still nothing. Hence the stress levels. Initially, it was just stress about how this would delay my loan application, my search for housing, my introduction into the NV holy land, my ability to get through any of the pre-reading (I don't even know what the pre-reading is yet? Fellow bloggers, help?!) Well, now the stress has escalated to: "oh jeez, I should have just said ok to Singapore, now they don't like me, I've messed up their numbers, they think I'm not a team player, that I have an attitude problem, they're going to change their mind about my admission and I'm going to have to go back to the job I was doing before and my former colleagues will look upon me with pity and disgust and my life will end...". They can't do that, right? Right????

(please excuse this interruption in our programming while I hyperventilate into a paper bag)

On a happier note, I was treated to culinary heaven yesterday by my (perhaps prematurely?) proud parents, AND I passed right by Raphael Nadal on the street. That made me feel better. Especially the dessert... and the foiegras... and the wine... and the close presence of a major tennis star... Well, it made me feel better yesterday, anyway.