Thursday, December 30, 2010

Grow a Pair!

For some reason or another I've heard this alot lately. I need to "grow a pair" and say what I want/need. While the idea is rather easy, the truth is, I don't like asserting myself. I'm just plain old scared of speaking my mind. There are few moments in my life when I have said something that was important to me at the exact moment I wanted to say it. This comes as no shock to any of you who know me on a personal level. It took me years to build up the courage to get a divorce, I guess for me it seems easier to just deal with things being miserable than to speak up and change it myself.

Laughable!

I guess it's easy to understand why I've been constantly walked on all of my life. My mom used me as a maid, my husband-a doormat, my friends-a pin cushion....when's it gonna be my turn? (done in my best Cleveland impression) Ultimately this post is brought on by the bullshit I deal with on a daily basis. Someone in my life....we'll call him Bill (he likes sweaters) Well Bill has very little responsibility for anything and makes a large sum of money. Month after month, There is never a schedule made. I have gone into a work-week as far as Thursday without a proper schedule (starts on Sunday). Not to mention the other lacking areas of responsibility. Being in management is supposed to require more effort and thought. That's why they make the big bucks and I do not! I guess this is weighing heavily on my decision to transfer to a different location. Yes, ultimately I would love to not work the retail side of T-mobile, and do more marketing/projections, but we gotta do what we can to KEEP our foot in the door. It is so out of character for me to sell anyone anything, but I seem to make some success...no where near the goals that have been set before me, but still, I'm trying. So I'm looking to move in the near future. I can't keep dealing with this drive, Alisha is going to be moving in with me (definitely need more space) and over all I want a new start at a new place! There are memories in Roanoke, I don't want to remember them any more. I want to hold something tangible for a moment and realize I've worked for it...I haven't seemed to find the time to do that just yet, but it's coming soon I know!