It's all about the awesomeness…

The premiere happens tomorrow in Sweden. So yeah.

November 16, 2010

I’m starting to go to piecies now. As expected. Well actually, I’m surprised it hasn’t started sooner.

It’s not like I can’t remember the feeling I had just before the seventh book were released. I just can’t quite pinpoint exactly what the particular feeling was, or how to describe it. Elation. Sadness. Joy. Panic. Relief. Dread. Excitement. All of it. And more. I don’t think it makes sense for people who hasn’t experienced it. Somehow, it doesn’t even make sense to me, at the same time as it does, irrefutably, make all the sense in the world. I remember sitting in the car on my way to the place where I would buy the book. My mum was driving. She was very silent. I was very silent. Words failed me, and I didn’t know what she felt, what made her stay silent. Perhaps she for once felt a tiny bit that thing, that special atmosphere that I always seem to sense during big Harry Potter moments. The tension, like something is holding it’s breath, waiting for the big moment, the bang, the finish. Or perhaps I’m just wishing that was what she felt, that she somehow understood, if only for that one moment. Perhaps she just kept quiet because she knew I wasn’t in the mood for small talk.

I got the book. She drove me home. Still quiet. I started reading. I paused to step out of the car and settle on my bed. Then I kept reading.

My point is, I don’t really know what that feeling was. But I didn’t think it would return, because there would never be anything so big, of that magnitude, ever happening again in the Potter fandom. But here I sit, the words “The Beginning of the End” ringing in my head over and over, knowing that in hours, I will be on the train towards the premiere. Towards the beginning of the end. And it feels fantastic. Elating. Sad. Joyful. Panicky. Relieving. Dreadful. Exciting. And absolutely brilliant.