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Dear J. Lo,

(First, please note this letter is from LauraC and does not necessarily represent the views of the other authors of How Do You Do It?)

I have to admit – I don’t get it. I don’t get anything from your People magazine interview with your newborn twins.

When I completely ignore the photos, I connect with the words in your interview. You talk about loss of sleep, how much you love your babies, and bonding with your husband over shared 3AM feedings. You don’t focus on your career or having your body back – you focus on your babies. When I read your words, I feel like we could be friends. Like you could take over Mia Hamm’s spot as my celebrity twin mom BFF.

But the pictures? The pictures, woman!!! Do you expect us to take you seriously?

I understand People is a magazine where common folk are supposed to yearn to live the life of celebrities. But I do not want your life. I do not want to wear a ridiculously expensive do-rag and gaze lovingly at my peacefully sleeping twins. I do not want to dress in high heels, dress my husband in pink, and run down our driveway while pushing ridonkulously expensive matching carriages. I do not want to have to babyproof that ornate nursery.

These over the top pictures make me think you are hiding something. Maybe having twins kicked your butt a little more than you thought it would. And you know what? That’s ok. It’s ok to say that being a new mom is hard and crazy and exhausting and overwhelming, even when you have two baby nurses and all the money and resources in the world. But by acting like everything is perfect, you’re not fooling any mother no matter how perfect you look in every photo.

You know what though, at that early point, I was still thinking that I could fool everyone, including myself. Took me until about 3 or 4 months (it’s already a blur) to realize I was drowning and that I needed to speak up or we’d all be lost at sea. I wonder if we’ll ever hear the truth in the media from a celebrity mom or twin mom.

I just read that issue last night! thank you for mentioning the “pink”. I did get a good laugh out of that. And you’re right: that nursery looks like a babyproofing nightmare! Although, I’m sure they have people they can hire to take care of that. If she seriously runs the triathalon she mentioned about, then I’ll be mildly impressed….

When my kids were 16 days old, I had to “dress up” a little bit for my son’s bris. And you know what? I wore a maternity skirt, a maternity tunic, and actually managed to take a shower and put my hair in a ponytail. Wohoo!
I know she has a stylist and probably a trainer and a chef and all of that. But did she really need to get dressed up in a gown that probably cost a few thousand dollars, just to have a picture of her feeding her kids? (Do they not spit up??) I agree, Laura. I wish they could just do an honest article with honest pictures. Show me a sleepy but happy mom (she can even put on a little makeup, I understand photographers were coming over to the house), wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt, or even one of those little tracksuits. You can look happy and beautiful and still vaguely resemble someone who is only one month postpartum…
Good lord, now I just feel like a bum.

I haven’t read the article, but I’ve seen the pics. I want to echo Dawn’s sentiment. I remember those first few months of my blog posts and I wanted it to seem like everything was so darn easy, that parenting and motherhood fit me like a glove, and we were all just basking in love and light and bliss.

I also think that celebrities don’t have much of a choice when it comes to fooling everyone about the beauty of their existence – I mean, it’s what we ask for and crave. Come on, who would buy a People or Vogue or InStyle if it was a bunch of stars acting and dressing just like us? It’s part of their job. And when they are caught dressing and acting just like us, they are ridiculed. It’s too bad – for them and for us.

The word that came to my mind when I saw the pics was “fairytale.” And that’s what it’s about when you come down to it. But I can’t begrudge J Lo for that.

P.S. If J Lo really said her and her husband bond at 3am feedings – Wow! I remember wanting to kill my husband during those middle of the night feedings. No one said nice things when totally sleep deprived in my house. It was my LEAST favorite part of the whole deal.

i so totally get you on this post. i glanced through the article and glossy photos and snorted. i remember at 4 weeks i was fragile and exhausted, putting on makeup because that is ‘what i do’ but not washing my hair (gross) and definitely not wearing heels (well, i did wear wedges at their one month party and paid for it). but, yeah, give us a little here. to think we could be like that if we had millions and a few baby nurses. i would not trade my place for hers in a trillion years, it is nice to know ours will not have to grow up under the watchful lens of creepy paparrazi.

Those pictures made me laugh when I saw them. Especially those giant strollers! You can fit five babies in one of those strollers, why did she need two? Definitely the most unrealistic portrayal of mommyhood that I’ve seen in a while. So silly.

If your husbands didn’t have to get up to go to work…I’m sure they’d help out more! He doesn’t have to go anywhere. On top of that, I knew him when he had his first child and he was never home. I was single clubbing…and so was he except he had a new baby at home. I’m talking about his teen daughter.

In my case, I was a single parent way before we divorced. I’m a mom to 7 of which 2 are non bios. I do it all …and with little money. To complicate matters, I have one son with ODD and ADD and my youngest has autism. The supermoms of everyday life impress me more than Angelina Jolie and JLo. Anyone can do it with the unlimited resources they have. When they’re juggling a whole family like we do, with limited or no money…unpaid bills, sleep deprivation and four different levels of child development (my case)-then they can be called supermom.

I haven’t seen the article and don’t plan to. I don’t care for fiction.

Now that I’ve been a twin mom for nearly two years, I can laugh off the photos of J. Lo and her hubby. I mean SERIOUSLY! Gowns, strappy heels, 500 stuffed animals in the cribs, custom made fur wraps.
But boy the Marcia Cross article a year ago made me want to throw myself off of the nearest cliff. It was tough hearing about her perfect life when I was still only getting 3 hours of sleep a night.

AMEN SISTA!!! The first month my twins were here we spent 11 days of those struggling to organize childcare for our 2 year old and splitting our time between the NICU. Once our girls got home I was literally in my chair for two weeks nursing… I was lucky if I got a shower every other day and if I brushed my teeth each day… How unrealistic could it be?? I mean COME ON!!! BE REAL LADY!!! and don’t even get me started on the nursery and her husband in pink!

You know, I totally hear what you ladies are saying, but I thought the photos–if understood that they are *just* photos–were amazing. Ok, so her husband is and will always be a little skeevy. But she was just off the charts gorgeous, and I enjoyed the carefree-ness of the one with the prams on their front drive. I loved the photos. Yeah, the info in the article did make me chuckle. Yes, it would be nice if they were a little more realistic. Two baby nurses, but Mom and Dad still change all the diapers and give all the feedings around the clock? Hmm. Though she did once and for all refute all rumors that they underwent fertility treatments–not that that’s any of our business anyway. But anyway, I didn’t think it was all that bad. It was entertainment, and eye candy. If only her husband wasn’t in so many of the pics…. LOL

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