To Have…Or Not To Have A Wingman?

Oh man… I can’t even believe how many times I’ve been asked this question: “Alex, Is it better to go out solo or with a wingman?”

Mind you, the first question you need to ask yourself is, “What is your ultimate goal for going out?” If you’re going out to “have fun” then going with a wingman or even a whole pack is going to be much more fun than going out solo. On the other hand, if you’re true goal for going out is to get LAID, then my friend… that is a totally different situation.

So, if you want to go out, purely to get laid, how should you approach this whole wingman issue?

Before I dive into this, first take a second to honestly rate your game, don’t tell me about it but in your head be certain that you know the truth behind your gaming skills.

Knowing that, here’s how the whole wingman thing works.

If he’s game is inferior to yours – Your wingman will drag you down

If he’s game is superior to yours – Your wingman will become your biggest competitor

If you’ve got the same level of game – It can go either way but often goes neither way

So how can you properly come to a conclusion? Well let’s look at this closer…

Recently, in the last year or so, I’ve been going out solo a lot more than I’m going out with my friends. By doing this I’ve managed come to a few conclusions regarding myself and my game. With all seriousness when going out purely to get laid, it’s happening a whole lot more often solo, than when I’m going out with a W or with my friends.

You’ve probably been out with a wingman before and you’ve probably been out with your friends. It’s less likely that you’ve been out solo and might even look down upon it so… I’m going to focus the next part of this article on how it is when you go out solo.

Solo – When Going Out PURELY To Get Laid

Before I even say anything here, I want to clarify that you need to be 100% sure that *what you want is to get laid* otherwise solo isn’t going to work. If it’s fun (the classical definition of fun) you’re after, go with your mates otherwise you’re going to get incredibly bored.

The first reason why SOLO is worth trying is because I actually got approached by chicks (I would say I got approached more, but when I was with someone, especially when I was with more than 1 guy…I never got approached). I’m not the best looking guy but I do know how to dress well and act properly. Truth is, if it’s a lot easier for you to approach a lonely girl at the bar, then it’s going to be much easier for her to do it if you’re alone.

Only when I first started to go out alone did I actually realize that I’m banging the first or maybe the second chick I approach during the night. I’ve been in places where if I dressed up well enough, I had at least 3 or so girls approach me any given night. The girls that actually do the approach, I would rate around 6-7 (on a scale from 1-10). The girls higher on this scale 8+ would never actually approach but try to get my attention by close proximity – which is more than enough to tell you that she wants to get banged. Girls lower on the scale might not have enough confidence to approach you.

Like I said, I’m not really great looking since I never got approached when I was out with a wing but, by being out there solo, not wasted, chilled out and approachable I immediately catch her attention and become one of the top contenders on tonight’s bang list. In retrospect, what girl would want to bang a dude that’s in a drunken pack of guys, running around the bar with a psychotic look in his eye?

This has also led me to the conclusion that things like “social proof” bare little importance, especially if you’re done with college. Chicks find a dude that’s riding solo very intriguing; he has that aura of mystery. Don’t get me wrong, there are places where social proof is absolutely paramount (such as the whole of NYC – as I’ve been told – Where women ask: “Who are you here with?” so that they can make a quick judgment based on your social circle). Generally, these are places (nightclubs) where women expect you to have a paid table and are usually attracted more by what you’ve got as possessions rather than what you’ve got in your head. Quite frankly, these aren’t the places where you should be going and these are probably not the places where you regularly bang.

Another good reason to go out alone would be the fact that there’s no more drama. Unfortunately, because I do this for a living, it’s really hard to find a guy that has the same level of game and I always feel bad if he gets none or because he’s lack of game is messing mine. Also, being alone means you can bounce the club the moment you feel like it, without having to explain any of your reasons to the people you’re with. Sure they may be having “fun”, but nothing’s happening for you here so you need to bounce and can’t always do so because you’re affecting the others.

Finally, although we have certain guidelines set, I always feel bad about leaving the guy in the club, alone, or seeing him get rejected and then losing his morale…in a way it’s almost like I’m getting rejected and I’m taking it bad – an unnecessary strain on my game.

But Wingmen Have Their Value

I agree, there are a number of scenarios in which wingmen play a very important role. Such as groups of 2 girls. He will always be there to take care of the other friend and keep her occupied while you’re gamming the hottie. The only drawback to this is that nobody wants to get stuck to the ugly friend while the other dude (your friend) is gaming and scoring with the hottie.

There may be those very ideal scenarios in which both girls are hot, both of you work game and both of you hook up. However, in reality this has only happened to me once and I’m sure you can count how many times this has happened to you on the fingers of one hand.

The best role of the wingman, which I miss every time I go out solo, is getting you in the mood. Every guy that has game knows that everything comes from the mind. Wingmen are there to ease the mind and get you in the mood. A real drawback of going out solo is the fact that you will almost NEVER have the same energy and elevated mood as you do when you go out with a wingman.

There are ways to go around it, but nothing compares to good company from your friends. I’ve spoken to guys that said they just talk to 1-2 random guys in the club, get confidence because they feel better than those guys then move on to the chicks. Others have said the music helps, while other just can’t go out solo.

Personally, I don’t need much preparation but it’s always better if I have 2 beers at home, prior to going out. When there, I won’t drink much more but, those 2 beers help me get loose and stay in the mood. Plus, if it’s just sex you’re after, it’s much easier to go out like this, do a few approaches and get laid, in comparison to going out with your friends, which probably has a whole ritual behind it, with you ending up passed out in a ditch somewhere…

To Have Or Not To Have A Wingman?

Honestly, it all depends on the level of your game. In reality, you will get laid MUCH more often going out solo than you will ever do with a male friend but, if you can’t yet master the boldness of going out there solo and hitting on the chicks, dealing with rejection yourself, dealing with other alpha males around you whilst keeping yourself entertained, stay true to the wingman and just hope that you’re not the one taking care of the “friend” while you’re W is hooking up.

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I just read your e-book and what a awesome and informative read it was. You have a great conversational style which makes the whole thing really easy to get the concepts that you are passing along. You see, I'm a woman and some of your comments were SO true that I couldn't help laughing. I've already shared this with a couple of guys friends. All the best, Erin
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Thank you so much for all of this very useful information. You do an excellent job of concisely articulating many important seduction and life-style betterment concepts.
Your incorporation of female psychology into your material is unique and extremely valuable. I truly appreciate all of the amazing work you are doing.
All the best from San Fran to London.Tom
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Its John again, i would just like to say thanks heaps for this
email it was exactly what i was looking for, to keep the conversation
going. Once again thanks heaps man!
John
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Good info bro, definitely like the emails keeps me updated without having to go out of my way to find the information.
Thanks a lot,
Tom H
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Alex, I appreciate you getting back to me so quickly and for your detailed response.
James