It would be, like, trivially easy given the code I wrote. I'm not up to doing it right now. Why don't you give it a try, and ask me if you have any questions? I'm sure other monks here would like Net::FTP::Simple.

Well, about 45 minutes into getting URI to properly break down
an ftp URL and making it work with Net::FTP::Scalar I was
digging through LWP::* trying to find an example of using
$uri->path_segments(). I found a good example. In fact I
found exactly what I was trying to do.
Then I realized: LWP::Simple supports FTP.

I should have known..after all this is Perl.
perl -e 'use LWP::Simple qw(get); print(get("ftp://ftp.slackware.com/pub/slackware/slackware-current/ChangeLog.txt"));'
Staunch

Went to join the gridlock to see it
Held an eclipse party
Watched a live feed
I cn"t see tge kwubosd to amswr thus
I tried to see it, but 8000 miles of rock got in the way
What eclipse?
Wanted to see it, but they wouldn't reschedule it
Read the book instead