Will Young turns his back on gay life

UK singer-songwriter & gay icon 'pretty boy' Will Young has revoked his previous decision that he was a gay man and has decided to straighten himself up.

Young, famed for his effeminate voice, was now sporting his new, macho Yorkshire accent and he was in reflective mood - "I wur young back then, when a said a wur a puff. It wur me dads fault, he said that wimmin would flock around me cos I wur gay, but I thought he meant they wantid me, not they thought I wurn't a threat...... I wur a confused lad."

Young confessed that bumming hurt and was not all it was cracked up to be - "I dint like it ont receivin end all't time, cos I cudn't shit fer days after, it 'urt. Me arse closed up as quick as a scotsmans wallet" he was heard to quip.

Did he have a girlfriend a reporter asked "Appen I do, she's reet grand is our Pat, she can pop a fart out anytime I ask."

On plans to release a single commemorating his new life he said "Aye, I'm gonna release a new single about me new found libido wi' Pat an it's called Y.M.C.A.S. - yorkshire men cant 'alf shag"