Thursday, May 31, 2012

One thing I did like in Kid Icarus Uprising was they way they handled Medusa. She was given a lot of style. I like how they played her straight, portraying her as a big boss character and not trying to force her into any kind of comedic banter. I liked her new look a lot and they at least they briefly brought back a bit of her old classic look as well. What I didn't like was how, after focusing so much of the games marketing on her, she all but vanishes after chapter 9. Chapter 9 of 25 levels. :( It took them two decades to bring her back and she's not even in half of the game. That's a big rip off. Hopefully she'll come back in part 4, if they ever get around to that. Nonetheless, her appearance in the game is with out a doubt one of the most memorable returns in video game history. It was nice while it lasted at least. U__U

When I talked to Leon De Leon about doing Pit Icarus, I also brought up doing a male version of Medusa. Instead of using the games design, we decided to go for a unique design based more on the Clash of the Titans Medusa instead. The best part was the character created turn out to be a strong black character with wicked, WICKED snake dreads!!! Our Gorgan may be more noble then the classic monster. I can see him as a strong brave warrior. His proud chest and bulging muscles seem to hold a heart of gold, not one of wicked intent.

I was very impressed with the fantastic art by Leon and the amazing colouring by Aneros.He added lots of great details, especially on the snakes. He added some groves to show where the snakes were joining into the head. The skin sorta rises there. It's a cool effect.The background created the perfect setting and mood for this creature.The entire piece looks like a portrait from an old book, or life size portrait found in a dark secluded section of a museum. In my local museum, the ROM they would have this very tight areas very little light. There would be wall size pictures and displays that were all very haunting. He very much reminds me of the those painting there. He's creepy, but ever so sexy! XD Thanks very much guys! This has to be in my top 10 of the year already. ;D

Now on the opposite end of characters going black, we have something actually found in the new Uprising game. O__O

Some fans have complained about Medusas reduced role in Uprising and it seems that just as many are unhappy with what became of at least one of her snakes. In the final battle of Kid Icarus on Nintendo, Medusa would launch her snakes called Tanatos at you. Their name was simply meant to mean death. The writers of Uprising have Tanatos becoming Thanatos, the God of the Dead. This is a character that has risen some controversy among players and onlookers alike.Basically Thanatos is now said to be a shape shifter. My question is, why did he turn himself into a black faced cannibal stereotype? Just look at any Little Nemo, or some such comic, or cartoon from back in the day and you'll see many characters that look like this guy running around in Africa. From his big lips, skull jewelry, exposed torso and belly, to the humorously baggy pants (that look like they were obtained from his last unfortunate meal) there's very little denying the negative caricature he portrays. It's not the 1930s anymore Nintendo. How long exactly are we expected to give Japan a free pass on cultural insensitivity? I understand that Japan is a little behind the times, when it comes to race relations. There are places in Japan that don't allow foreigners to eat, or even enter. Problem is, this game isn't marketed only within the land of the rising sun. I wonder how people outside of Japan will reflect on this character as time goes on?

Now I must say, I personally don't get too offended by characters like this. It's not my battle. I've watched so many cartoons and read so many old comics, that I guess I can see where the racism lies and where it really doesn't. The thing is though, things fall under a different standard that were made almost a century ago, to something made in the 21st century. Maybe this assumption is a bit harsh, but I'm going to call a spade a spade here, the heck with it. When has Nintendo ever created a positive black character?

Sadly that's not the only stereotype he embodies. Thanatos is also horrifically flamboyant. He's possibly an even stronger gay stereotype then Disco Kid. I'm not sure if, as a gay person I should be offended that this character comes off like a gay bozo the clown. Should I also feel disgrace that a company I support, Nintendo in this day in age, isn't willing to churn out more positive gay characters? Food for thought I guess. It doesn't really bother me that much to be honest. His voice is more annoying then anything else. What do you guys think?

The real issue for many fans, myself included, it felt very strange that Medusas snake was turned into this flamboyant creature. It was even stranger that he later comes back as a dragon, but not as a snake. He never makes mention of Medusa in any conversation and shows no disdain at you for beating her either. For a creature that was supposed to be part of her, his lack of allegiance is fairly shocking. One has to wonder why they even tried to make a connection to Medusa in the first place and not just keep him as an original character? I guess they wanted a forth commander, but if so, why not allow him to revert to a snake at some point? They had no problem turning him into tons of other silly shapes:

The Bat I get, but what does a Russian Egg doll have to do with death? I guess they are creepy....

On a side note, I personally I think his design is a bit to busy. What's with the branches coming out of his back and the sperm ghosts set in permanent decent towards his chest? Why is his body made of a stone like substance if he's shape shifter? Why not smooth, or scaly skin instead?Anyway, the bottom line is, some fans are reading into all this as yet another fuck you to the original game. That's never a good thing. >___< I can't help but feel the same way, unfortunately.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

This is the newest image of Ixy, our sexy little Mayan priest. After Luisazo's astounding Nehme and Janatu image, I really wanted to him to return to our Mayan world. This time, taking on the star and his sidekick Tucatiuh too of course. I found a pose I liked and showed it to Luisazo. He liked it too, so from there it was a matter of determining the pose of the toucan dragon and the state of Ixy's foreskin. :P I thought it was really sweet that Luisazo decided to make the background a tribute to FallenAngels piece:http://dinosaurprinceskingdom.blogspot.ca/2010/11/ixys-companion-tucatiuh.html

Ixy turned out incredibly handsome. He has a very princely face. I love that nose on him! :P His mighty Mayan cock with it's juicy pink tip peaking out is so hot. Luis did a super job of getting his costume down perfectly. It looks really fantastic. Tucatiuh is just too adorable. I love how smooth his beak looks and how long his neck is. The creature looks so cheerful. Just about as cheerful as I was when I received this image. Thanks so much Luis! :D

I had to share some stuff I found around the net on friends sites today. First off, this is something that is just incredible. Caravaggia has taken the Egyptian Goddess Maat and not only has she transformed him into a hunky blonde male, but she's also given him this cyberpunk look that is just too outrageous for words. This is just so imaginative and so sexy at the same time. I was blown away. You have to check out not only her making of post, but the post regarding her first cyberpunk below!

I love the fact the feather of truth is being used to help power him. The heart being exposed is a very nice touch as well. I really hope this is not the last we see of him. He would make for a great paring with Space Cadet and Naked Justice.

The second image I wanted to share is from Urbanmusiq. A little while ago he drew this cute Carnaval hunk from Brazil, who brings to mind a character that could easily be found in the court of Ixy. I don't know if there was any Ixy influence in his creative process, but I am sure two would go perfectly together. That would be one hot party eh? :D

I love this guys bright happy facial expression. Such a sweetie. Leon, that outfit does not leave much to the imagination. I swear you can see the circumcision scar. XD This character was found in the April 2012 issue of DNA magazine. I believe the print will soon be for sale.

I had to show off this comic page from Evosexual. It the first page of his Stripshow comic that is available from the Class Comics Newsletter. I thought he did a masterful job on Ghostboy here. Those are some hot buns on GB. It was really great as well, to see the return of The Prick, who hasn't appeared in a comic in 10 years! (I think.) He's got a slightly more human design here (with a smaller head.) He's looking super sexy. Can't wait to see what happens next!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Tonight I have a very triumphant piece by Urbanmusiq (Leon De Leon) and Aneros. I asked Leon to please draw Pit Kid Icarus from the famous Nintendo franchise. I wanted his take to be based on the adult bara version of Pit found at the end of the first game. I told both him and Aneros that THIS is the model they should have used for Pit, not some little whipping boy. I have requested this version of Pit from various artists over the years, from Nookiedog and Tonberryknight in 2009, to MioWorks in 2010. (Which Leon colored!) Always I find myself so happy to see a character from my childhood done such justice. Aneros used a new coloring technique for this image. What do you guys think? I think it came out very spectacular. Wait till you see the next one in this set. It's just as spectacular. I love the roman features in Pits face. That strong nose, tight facial features and eyes of a Roman emperor all really stand out though Leons inks and Aneroses dynamite coloring. He looks like a true warrior from mythology now. Damn Nintendo, maybe you should have thought of adding more elements to the characters that reflect the area they are from instead of all the sci fi and generic RPG shit., huh? XD Your Pit doesn't stand out like this! Every time I look at this picture I see new features and details. These two put a ton of love into their Pit.

Getting a great picture of Pit so close to beating the new game, really pulled at my heart strings. It reminded me even more of my love for Kid Icarus. It inspired me to write the following article about the new game. I think about the new game a lot. I have a ton of conflicting emotions regarding it. It's not as bad a game as some say, but it's certainly not as good as others claim it to be. This time I am going to share my thoughts on Kid Icarus Uprising: religion and the loss of hope. :( This is the third part of my look into Kid Icarus Uprising.

Hope is a powerful thing. It's interesting how a little hope can really grab our attentions in stories, especially when we are children. The original Kid Icarus had a lot of hope in it. I remember always loving tales about Medusa. As much as I liked the original tale, it was the ones where the people who were turned to stone, could somehow be saved, that were even more interesting. In the first Kid Icarus game, Pit had that ability. If you picked up, or purchased some hammers you could free your fellow warriors, the centurions. They had been gathered up and were being used as decorations in Medusas fortresses. To get hammers you had to play a magic harp that would turn the baddies into mallets. The other option was to spend hard earned cash, sacrificing items for yourself, in lieu of a chance to save your friends. The centurions would come to your aide when it came time to fight the bosses. You could wind up with large troops of warriors to help you.

Centurians could only take a single hit, but then so many characters from games in the 80s could only take a single hit. With the proper skill you could easily best a boss with zero, to few casualties. So your skill reflected how well these warriors fared in the end. Despite this, there are so many jabs at them being useless in the Uprising game, back up with some horrible writing that is supposed reinforce the reasons.

Really now, how ingenious was it, that this ability was included on top of all the other game play features? Back then, the game really let you feel like a true hero. Your actions made a visible difference in the world.

All hope of you being able to do that in the new game fall instantly away in Uprisings anime into Medusa's revenge. In it, Medusa rains down hell upon the people War of the Worlds style. She turns people instantly to stone with her...FINGER? and they fall to ground crumbling on impact. This is a newer, darker world. The original manual featured images of people turned to stone by Medusa and even there it looked like they were still alive. (See below) That's not the case now. There's no mallets, no statues, nothing. There's no hope of saving anyone anymore. I have to say as a fan of the original I didn't really care for this change and the others that were soon to follow.

For some reason, Medusa turns herself into a monster...um..okay...

The original game was silly and cartoony. Medusa was evil yes, but probably more on the level of King Koopa then the malevolence shown in the anime above. But hey, whatever. It's only an anime and can easily be disregarded. What can't be however, is the games stance on spirits and the afterlife. It's pretty grim to say the least. Once Medusa is killed off in chapter 9, a new bad guy appears. He isn't really that terrible to be honest. I had a hard time hating Hades. Even though he takes an instant jab at the old game saying Medusa is old boring news. Great.... Still he's pretty darn likable. Maybe the writers were aware of this, so they tried to give him a very dreadful back story, one that contradicts the actual game world at times.

Medusa was inspired by Harryhausen, there's no doubt, especially when one sees TwinBellows and compares it to the two headed dog that protected Medusa in Clash. But Hades? He just seems a bit too similar to James Woods's character, with that blue Flaming hair and smart ass attitude. To be fair, he's a cool villain and one I enjoyed for the most part. He wasn't however, someone I felt was half as bad as they made him out to be. Even with the forced story line near the end, he seemed more playful then anything.

It comes out that Hades is using the spirits of the dead to make new underworld troops. Okay, so he takes a spirit and reuses it. Well, that's not too bad. You kill the monster and it can revert back to whatever it was and go on to eternal happiness right? WRONGO. You see, underworld creatures, creatures that were once described as residence of the underworld, the races that lived there, need the combination of several spirits to come into being. (or at least they do if Hades wants to make them from scratch.) In the original game, Medusa did give life to some creatures by adding a spirit to them, but not like this. I don't really get why we need more then one spirit per body. That's pretty strange. Intangible material, becoming tangible? Okay...

When you die in Kid Icarus's world, you are told, you are nothing. The spirit remains, but it's more like a resource. It has no memories. It apparently goes to the underworld, but what it does there is not explained. They say they find peace, but if they have no memories, or emotions and they are not human/dog/etc. Based on that, what kind of peace the do find, I don't know. The game goes on to talk about how if they linger for too long, they vanish, then they talk about how Hades enjoys eating them. Pit finds this digusting. He remarks that when they are consumed they vanish, when they could reincarnate, or something. Hades then fills him in that reincarnation is a joke, as since the spirits don't remember anything from their past lives, it's like they cease to exist anyway. Which is so wrong on so many levels. The writers fail to give Pit any kind of decent come back as usual. The subject is left as is, with Hades winning the argument.I found it strange that Nintendo, a company that steers clear of any kind of religious content in their games would come right out and knock the belief of reincarnation. O__O I am sure more then a few Hindus are gonna be raising Cain at home when they hear about this being in their childs game. (I also found it odd that none of the Gods besides Hades new this. That didn't make any sense.)Now in a childrens series where hope once flourished so much, to find this kind of dark hopelessness, it's just so staggering to me. It's appalling, really. I know if I was a child, I would have been horrified and steered clear.

Collin is a bad guy that had no spirit in the original game. The sad fate of a friend turned foe. This fallen soldier returns in uprising, but the explanation is ignored. The point is, baddies didn't even need a spirit before. So why the cockamamie story line now?

And yet on the other hand, it's hard to take this plot device seriously. See, all this contradicts many events in the game. There's ghosts and other things in the game that you fight. (I guess they are made the same way?) The baddies come back to life, like Medusa. (though if they are all copies, or if they contain the original spirits is left unsaid for the most part.) Pit remarks about how the Centuarians are brought right back to life after death by the goddess, as well as he himself. He says he is constantly brought back again and again. (Usually mentioned as he is verbally abused for being so weak.) That leads us to another problem. The emasculating of Pit.

I really didn't care for how every character in the game including the Goddess Palutena talked down and insulted Icarus so much. Up till about chapter 9 it was only slightly aggregating, but once Medusa is gone, a whole slew of new bitches appear that constantly take jabs at Pit, with Palutena often joining in with them! The writers did nothing to give Pit any kind of decent come backs. Even the ones that are slightly decent are often put down by Palutena herself. UGH. She's not very Godly. Not really the characters I envisioned from my childhood. Pit gets gang banged more in the game, then in the fan art you see online. U__U

Kid Icarus, Pit, was originally not a wimp. He was the last glimmer of hope for the entire world. A frail little light that shone from the depths of the underworld. Once the head of the guards, he was imprisoned and reduced to nothing. At this point, everyone else was either turned to stone, or dead. The Goddess had enough faith in you, that she used the last of her strength to free you from your hopeless situation in order to save her. The back story found in the Kid Icarus manual does a great job of explaining that.

So by fighting through hell you grows stronger. Pit gets more life, better arrows and superior weapons. He get's physically stronger after every level up and the game get's easier as you meet it's requirements. In the end he's given a manly body. When I first played the game and got the ending, I figured he grew up and turned into a super hunk. The idea was sexually exciting for me. As they years passed I often wondered if Pit was actually strong before the battle. Was he turned into a little guy by Medusa magic? Maybe he was just getting all his strength back as the game went on? After all, he is the commander of the Goddesses personal body guards. That would make sense. That's just a theory, based on my imagination. Funny thing about old games, they let your imagination soar. Not like Kid Icarus uprising. Everything is laid out for you, as dark as it can be.

So is Pit allowed to grow up in Uprising? Sadly no. Nothing in the game makes Icarus permanently stronger. To be honest, for a game that prides itself on it's story telling, the one obvious character arch that should happen, isn't allowed to take place. You see from the start Pit continually wishes he could fly on his own. It's a recurring theme time and again. Before the final battle takes place, he even loses his wings, having them burnt off like the classic Kid Icarus of myth and legend. The game then shows Palutena lamenting his fate as she reminiscing about all the times he wished he could fly. 'So' says I in my mind, 'this has got to be it, this is where he grows up again, after they save him, he'll become manly with great big wings just like at the end of the original Kid Icarus.' Oh hell no. That wasn't going to happen. Instead, all that character development is ignored. The past is ignored. Pit is made to fight all the bosses again and is then given a Gundam to pilot. I shit you not. If this was a movie, you know you wouldn't be giving it 5 stars. You would be sitting there stone faced, but because it's game should it get a free pass?

Oh look a Grecian old man. (One of the few cast members that looks like they are Greek, by the way.) Surly he will give you some divine weapons dripping in mythology. Hell no, he forges mobile suits. O__O

It was insulting enough to fans that they destroyed the three sacred treasures, but this just made the bile rise to the back of my throat. I'm all in for new and different, but this is just stupid.

Here's an interesting tidbit. Palutenas powers were originally from the 3 treasures, but in this game she constantly knocks them as being old and possibly outdated. (Really knocking the original game.) Um..how do magical objects become outdated exactly? Looks like the writers forgot the items role as the steamrolled over the importance of them to include their new and wonderful surprises. BARF.

In the Game Boy Game, they took out the mirror shield and replaced it with armor. Hey, that's cool. Medusa wasn't a threat. Still it was a bit strange, but at least they never knocked the treasures. The armor comes back in Uprising, but the game still only refers to there being 3 treasures. For some reason Pit is never allowed to use the Pegasus wings in Uprising, with Palutena saying they might not work. That was just a weak excuse to limit your flight time and include ground segments and nothing more as far as I'm concerned.

Kid Kratos Pit is. This is a side note, but in this game he becomes a God Killer. (True he did kill some Gods in the past as well, weak ones anyway and Medusa, who might have been demoted from God to Monster, the game is never clear on that.) I found it sad that you meet so many people with interesting personalities and you don't really make any friends, outside of Magnus. Even people that really don't seem to deserve to be killed you still kill. Pit doesn't grow as person. He's just a sad little slave, unable to make choices, or care for anyone. It's interesting to note that the more he does for the Gods the less they seem to respect him as well.

Isn't this just lovely? It's a nice piece of art, but what it has to do with a game set in ancient Greece, I have no idea. In the end, Pit hasn't changed. He hasn't grown stronger. Even his crazy new weapon fell apart. He wasn't even up to snuff as a pilot. During the credits the Gods continue to knock him. (Even after the credits are done, yeeeesh.) My favorite line came at the end of the game where Hades, now a ghost mind you, (having his memories etc. making no sense!!!) says that 8 Bit Pit couldn't have made it this far. Well, no of course not. 8 Bit Pit didn't have the difficulty lowered for him every time he died and he sure as hell wasn't given a mobile suit to fight it.

You guys might think I hate this game, but I don't. Really. I think it's one of the most fun games Nintendo has released in years. I had way more fun with it then the newest Zelda game. Yeah I got back aches. I had hand cramps. I suffered sever nausea that lead to migraines and me being sick to my stomach due to the 3D effect. Sure the camera is so in your face you can hardly see two feet in front of you when the action heats up. I mean, to RUN you have to double tap the control pad, but this is also how you dodge enemies. If a big enemy corners you, the camera will fuck up and zoom right in, so you can't see anything. If you try to run you will just keep dodging. You can't run away from bad guys attacking you! You can only walk and then you are likely to take some major hits. LOL sorry..XD little rant there.Sure it has it's problems, but it's simple to play and very addicting. I just wish the games mythos had been left intact and not gone the way of crazy sci fi and bleak supernatural stuff. Maybe I wouldn't have minded the Gundam so much if it's existence did come at the cost of the original treasures. Still, I think back to my childhood. Given the choice back then, I would have Pegasus wings over a robot any day.

Well I hope that was not too ranty. I think I said just about all I had to say about this game. Anyway tomorrow is my birthday, so I may, or may not be posting! I might be too busy partying! LOL yeah right. Everyone is invited over for some ice cream cake. :P hee hee.

Hey guys. I kinda vanished for a bit there. Truth is I was going through a rough time. I'm getting better now, but we will have to see what the future holds before I can say I am fine again. For now I am back. Before I post some art, here's a little parade of Barbarians and warriors for you all. Oh how I wish Sean Parker would pose nude!!!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

This is my latest from Yelmo. It's a picture of one of Maduinshorns favorite characters Sol-Badguy from Guilty gear that was a birthday gift. It turned out really nice too, with some amazing lighting effects. That fire must be really warm and cozy, cause it's getting Sols uncut cock is mood for some moonlight loving! :P I love his extra dark dick. Very cool. The character turned out wonderfully and Maduinshorn was exstatic about the image, so I could not be happier. :)

I personally don't know much about Sol-Badguy. I regret to say I only had a pirated version of Guilty Gear on Dreamcast, that stopped working before I really got to enjoy the game. When I did play it, I found the animation to be wonderful and the game fun to play. (Despite the brutal difficulty.) I am sure if I had been able to play it more, the title would have fallen into one of my fav fighting game series. Maybe it's time I give it another shot. I have been contemplating purchasing a copy for years now.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Last year I posted MaleArtists Thor in the buff. Thanks to fans I found out who the artist was and got in contact with him. He's a really cool guy! Today he sent me a blog exclusive treat, an image that was dubbed too hot for Deviantart, his take on Ryan Reynolds nude as the Green Lantern! :D

Green makes you grow! The Green Lantern is a big thick man..wow! XD I love that classic stormy background. Makes it look like a painting that should be hanging in a castle, or manor somewhere. Very classy! Hope you guys enjoy it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

So here is the mighty Magnus from Kid Icarus Uprising, nude and rude! He was placed in the game to make sure not all the fan art is twinky stuff. :P I have been sitting on this picture for way too long. Lazy me, not posting him. Yelmo did an amazing job and I am a little protective of this picture, cause it's so spot on. ;D I love getting Yelmo to draw long haired rough types. He casts such a special something on them. They always look ready to go, like they were just cleaned, but not shaved quite right. :P Uncut cock Magnus is amazing. Thanks Yelmo. :)

I have to say that it was seeing it again last night that inspired me to write the following post. This is my second in depth look into Kid Icarus Uprising. As I said, my review is too long to post all at once. So here is a little more of my thoughts on the game. Now, just to let you know, I did enjoy this game for the most part, but that doesn't mean there wasn't a ton to bitch about.

Sometimes I think Nintendo aimed a little too high with this title. While Magnus is cool character, one has to question if he at one point during the titles long production period, had a greater purpose and if that was totally abandoned, then later attempted to be integrated back into the game again. Really what is Magnus purpose in Kid Icarus Uprising? He appears in level two, so we assume he's going to be a big part of the story. This never happens though. His back story is never explained properly at all. We never find out his true relationship with Lord Gaol and I think there's mention that he lost a child to the war, or something. That never gets mentioned again. Everything is let so ambiguous about him. Why? What got left on the cutting room floor?

He finally appears as a brief playable character after the games story has long run out of steam. At this point the game is being as random as it possibly can with the story line. Forcing you into Magnus's body for game play scenarios that have more then a blatant homoerotic undertone to them. Then, once Magnus is done saving Pit, he's left on Earth in the middle of a war torn city to fend for himself. There's no reward for him, no praise, nothing save for a brief thank you. Pit Icarus pops back to life and leaves Magnus as he scurries off to find his Goddess. Shouldn't he instruct Magnus to inform the people of what's going on in the heavens? At this point, for three years the Goddess of Light has been killing mankind for sport. Someone needed to do some PR, but his never happens in the game. One has to wonder why the people cheer her and Pits during the credits, as Pit played the role of head slaughterer.Maybe he does this, or maybe the Goddess explains things to the people of Earth, but it goes unsaid. In a game the prides itself on it's story telling, it sure has left some big gaping holes in it's plot.

Later he appears for a repeat boss battle, but is no where to be found during the ending, which felt like a glaring omission, but then the ending didn't seem to care about any of the side characters except Yaoi... I mean, dark Pit and the little raging bitch they called Viridi. During the course of the title every other character bitches and cries on screen for hours except Magnus, the strongest of the bunch. He only gets only a fraction of the others screen time. Maybe it's best that way. The other characters yak and yak way past the point of having anything interesting, or relevant to say and just insult you as Pit as much as possible. Maybe that's why I liked him the best.

Still, what a rip for both Magnus and the player. I think a lot of people thought that this Devil May Cry/God of War inspired character was going to be unlockable, or playable more often, but that never came to be. You can't even use him in multiplayer. I guess they created him just cause really need more characters for Smash Bros. We only get to play with his big sword during one mediocre level, placed so far into the game one has to wonder if he was forgotten by the dev team and then quickly inserted in. Another surprise from Nintendo! YAY! It felt like a very half assed placement, made only to extend the amount of levels needlessly longer. Still it wasn't all bad. At least you could play with him. Honestly Magnus was an awesome character and one that deserved exploring. It's such a shame that the developers didn't think so and left so much unsaid about him. The same could be said about Medusa too, but that's a post for another day.

When I think of Magnus I think of weapons. When I think of weapons in Kid Icarus I think of the fucking MESS it was. Kid Icarus Uprising has some very fundamental flaws, but the biggest revolves around it's weapons. Here's a quick look at them.

Oh fuck me, I know the group that made the game is called TEAM SORA and Kid Pit Icarus now looks like the illegitimate half brother of the Kingdom Hearts hero, but could that Royal Blade be a more blatant rip off of a Key Blade? There's a fine line between homage and rip off Nintendo. I think you might have crossed it here. Notice that blades are the main focus. You even start the game with a blade, not a bow and arrow! Nintendo desperately wants to siphon some cool from Square Ennix.

I was disappointed staffs had no magical properties. As for claws, I never used them. In a shooting game, I don't understand the thought behind just taking a melee weapon with you. Maybe they shoot. I wasn't risking hearts, or the time to find out.

Orbs I am guessing are probably inspired by the gems that used to circle Pit back in the day. I'm probably giving the game makers too much credit. I doubt my theory, cause if they were, they wouldn't be a primary weapon.

Look at all the clubs! Boom, bam, zam! We are so creative with the club designs...all sorts of nonsense is present. It's a design time team running wild.What is with that cannon right out of a Dreamcast game? This isn't Phantasy Star Nintendo. The equally B grade sci fi/horror Frankenstein thing is just as misplaced.

Look how underplayed bows are. It's just sad. Shouldn't the bow page be even bigger then the blade page? How about we make a Zelda game where Link runs around with whip and swords are underplayed. Yeah....let's see if the fur flies after they reach that decision. Just because we are older, it doesn't mean we old school fans vanished Nintendo.

First off this is a Kid Icarus game. Since when is Kid Icarus a third person shooter? It's set in a mythological world with Greek Gods and monsters...so why the hell are there so many guns and canons? Really? Pit is supposed to have a bow and arrow. He's not supposed to have a 19th century pistol, or shot gun. I was happy to find that others felt the same way:

I can sum up my feelings for Uprising very simply:How would you feel if they made a Metal Gear Solid game after 20 years and it played just like Tetris, or Super Mario World? Bet you wouldn't be too happy either. I don't consider this game a sequel to my beloved old titles. Sorry Nintendo, game over. After 20 years, there's no more continues left.

Getting back to the weapons....Variety is the spice of life, but the weapons theme is all over the place in this game. We have stuff ranging from ancient times, to modern, to the far future. Okay I am being a bit harsh on the weapons, but some sort of synergy would be nice to see. A lot of weapons in the same group don't resemble each other at all. The first Blade looks like a gun, not a sword. Some of it is great, but some just seems way to strange. Take for example the club that looks like an apartment building. What the heck? I thought the Babylon Club was pretty neat at first. Then I found out Clubs are fairly useless.

The sheer amount of weapons is just a bit overwhelming as well. I sat and stressed over what weapons to use and upgrade for hours and hours till my 3DS battery was dead, more then once. (Not that that is a difficult accomplishment, given the batteries life.) I stress over this shit, cause I come from the day were a wrong move in doing this can totally fuck your game up. Didn't someone at Nintendo ever hear that less is better? I get that they wanted to provide variety, but some of the best games of all time had only one, or two weapons. Do we really need dozens of varieties of the same weapon, leading to what feels like hundreds in total???? There's only 20 + levels for crying out loud. Have video game players become this blind with greed?

My second and bigger complaint was with the weapons system set up in the shop. I always felt like the shop was constantly teasing me, displaying weapons that were really good, but always just out of my price range. My first play though, I just used the default difficulty the game set and didn't really have anything equipped to give me extra hearts. So I never really earned that much. This is another flaw of the game. Heart earnings are really sparse in comparison to the prices in the shop, even if you play a higher difficulty and obtain and have the right items equipped. I got the feeling that scanning cards was mandatory if you really wanted to afford something decent, early on. Even after I scanned enough cards to start the game with $24,000, there was always something placed right out of that range. Maybe they were trying to emulate the feel of how expensive things were in the original Kid Icarus, but if you actually played that game, you would realize that these prices only seem out of range at first. Play into it a bit and very soon you have more money then you know what to do with. (This NEVER happens in Uprising.) Someone at team Sora, wasn't very good at Kid Icarus if that was the case. (Which I don't doubt, when I read that Zeldas current director sucks at the original Zelda games. Seems like any dough head can work there.)

Now in any other game that might not be a problem. You just go out and get some more money, come back and buy your weapon. Not in Uprising. No, no, that would be too simple. Nintendo needs to constantly surprise you now. The items in the weapons shop are completely random each time you enter it. So you can't even set goals for yourself, cause what was there last time, won't be there the next. Items feel like they NEVER come back, EVER. Sale items are a bitch as well. They never say how much they were prior to the sale, so I have no idea if I am getting a deal, or not. I guess I should be looking at the value, but the numbers are ambiguous, as various weapons are all assigned a worth value that does not state the exact effectiveness in battle. To do this, you have to go into an arena screen and try the weapon out yourself and either mentally, or physically write down it's effects. Things take off more damage up close, then further away, do varying amounts of damage when you dash backwards, or forwards, etc. Theirs a list a mile long to go over while in the testing arena. I have chosen cars easier. UGH! You can note the stars beside each weapon for range and Melee, butiseach star rating based on it's effectiveness compared to other weapons, or others of it's kind? They don't tell you that. You see, each weapon say like the Royal Blade, comes in dozens of variations and powers. Weapons are given stats that effect you in battle, such as life extensions and raising your effectiveness in certain situations. Sadly, because you have no stat bar to show what your current stat numbers are, you have no real way of telling how effective any of this is, even when you are out in battle, besides of course stats that have a physical attribute such as freezing, or burning enemies.

If you don't want to buy shit you can merge stuff. Now, here's another fun time sink. When I hear merge, I think of two things. Number one, that I need special weapons to make the best ones and number two that I will at one point have to look online, or buy a guide to figure how to do this. Well as it turns out, everything is actually fairly random, made to surprise and entertain you, by giving you a somewhat new experience each time you play. You can merge weapons and try to keep the stats you like, combining old into new weapons, but some of those combinations you are not going to like, or want. This is especially true if your current one becomes something that alters the game play too much. (I.E a bow becoming a club, a shooting weapon changing to one you can only swing at people in front of you. Clubs can fire, but only if you charge to shoot them. Making them very slow for range battle, with being able to shoot out one shot per charge.) It feels like if you really want to make something good, you have to play the game three steps ahead.

1.Make sure you have the difficulty on right level to get the gear you want.2. Make sure you look up where the hidden items are.3. Make sure you have the right equipment that can pass over the right stats to the new weapon when merging.

In fact that list is too short, but you get the picture.

Do you know what all this does? It slows the game down. What should be a fast paced action game gets mired down by hours of fiddling with shit in a shop, something that should really be a two second purchase decision. It's worse then clothes shopping with your mom. OY!

Even after you save up, or fuse the best weapons, their effects and usefulness really don't matter much. Most of the weapons feel very samey. Most of the bosses are not that strong as well. If you do die, the game will automatically reduce the difficulty and allow you to change weapons. This is the only time it will allow you to change weapons in game, so you can't even test one weapons usefulness over another on the same stage without restarting the game. (If you leave a stage before beating it you will also lose a chunk of your hearts, but lets not go there.) The game is essentially broken. You die, you play the stage with the same weapon, but now, it's not so bad, it's easier, so the weapon works better. What has the average player learned? Nothing, cause they haven't achieve what they wanted to. Did they die due to the weapons failure, or was it their ability to use the current weapon? They will never know. You just move forward after beating the level. How about if you die due to falling, or get a one hit kill from a monster before you feel confident in the new weapon? You won't know for sure, cause the difficulty gets reduced. The game just gives you a toffee and pats you on your bum if you fall down. Quite the opposite of the real Icarus crashing and burning when he decided to use something for the wrong situation. (I.E. Flying too close to the sun with wax wings.) I guess Nintendo would have given THAT Kid Icarus a parachute.

I swear the game makers were terrified of being labeled as having hard difficulty like in the first game. That's one reason why it burned my ass so much when the creator said they made sure they respected the original game. If they did respect the original game, they would provide it with balanced game play and a proper leveling up system for both Pit and his weapons. Look it's weapon damage, not advanced physics. Make sure weapon damage is clear, that's all, don't hide it under meaningless numbers and fucking useless Mario Stars. Nintendo just doesn't want to admit that simple fun game play with simple to understand, clearly labelled stats draws people in, while complicated shit you see people agonizing over making charts and starting wars about online just drives people further away. I think adding a merging option is just a bad idea to begin with, if you want to sell your game to a larger general audience. Considering how simple the actual game play is, I am surprised at how needlessly cumbersome the weapons system is. Complicated options like this are poison to most players (Casual, or not) out there. Most people worry about just being able to play and beat a title, you add in all this other shit and you might as well put a do not touch sign on the game.

Kid Icarus weapons are a complicated mess. I really blame the people at Sora who came from the Smash brothers camp for this. They constantly add too much content to games that are not large enough to find significant uses for them all. It's like filling your bath tub with so much water it runs all over the floor. Sure it's wetter, but it's not better. >__< I've seen RPGS with way less items then this game and RPGS go on for 60 hours. Kid Icarus is at it's best probably about 14 hours and once you beat it, it's going to take you even less time to get through it again. Unless you count the 20 hours you spend in the shop aggravating about what to fuse and what to purchase. I think it would have been better to just focus on a few weapons types and really make their attributes stand out. Making each purchase special and exciting, instead of just something to discard as quickly as possible to get the next best upgrade.

Mom, this Kid Icarus is going to the toy store while you make up your mind about your accessories okay?

Oh well, at least the art is beautiful, they spared no expense. Remember another disasters amusement that used the same expression?

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About Me

I'm a regular guy with a huge interest in animation and art. A few years ago I decided to get involved with artists and the result is this blog. I am now a producer of mostly male erotic art. I hope you enjoy my little kingdom. :P