`1 Horse Soap In Sleigh` And Other Lame Lyrics

March 05, 1987|By Thom Duffy. Orlando Sentinel.

It was a recording session that led to one of the greatest pop radio hits of the 1970s. And when Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel left the studio, they gave a tape of their work to an arranger who added a string section to the score.

``The way the guy heard it on this demo tape was `Like a Pitcher of Water,` `` Simon later recalled. ``So that`s what was written down (on the arrangement). I had it framed.``

Simon and Garfunkel`s ``Bridge Over Troubled Water`` certainly isn`t the only song to suffer such skewed interpretation.

When words are wed to musical rhythms, their sounds easily can get muddled.

Parodist ``Weird Al`` Yankovic has made a career of purposely twisting lyrics, rewriting Queen`s ``Another One Bites the Dust,`` for example, as

``Another One Rides the Bus.``

But most of us ruin lyrics in our minds by accident. We probably began in grammar school, belting out the ``Star-Spangled Banner.`` We may have wondered who this guy named Jose was as we sang, ``Jose, can you see?``

Another case of childhood confusion was reported by a New Jersey disc jockey. Bill Jerome admitted, ``I couldn`t figure out what `Jingle Bells` had to do with `one-horse soap in sleigh.` ``

In recent weeks, Jerome and others in the music business submitted favorite examples of misinterpreted lyrics to Ken Barnes, whose column ``On the Records`` appears in Radio & Records magazine.

According to Barnes` mail, some of the most commonly misconstrued lines come from the Rolling Stones` hits, thanks to Mick Jagger`s unique vocal style.

A deejay from Wheeling, W.Va., recalled ``Beast of Burden`` playing on his car radio as his girlfriend sang, ``I`ll never be your pizza burnin.` ``

A record company exec said a friend believed that the line in ``Mother`s Little Helper`` in which Jagger sings ``the pursuit of happiness just seems a bore`` was ``the bassoons of happiness just seem to bulge.``

David Hinckley, music writer for the New York Daily News, once wrote that he heard a new Rolling Stones hit in 1965 and thought the title was ``19 Thermos Breakdown.``

Barnes uncovered plenty of other misconstrued versions of hits including: -- Huey Lewis and the News` ``I Need a New Truck`` (``I Need a New Drug``).

-- The Beatles` ``Take the Back Right Turn`` (``Paperback Writer``).

-- J. Geils Band`s ``Grease Plane`` (``Freeze Frame``).

-- Creedence Clearwater Revival`s ``Bathroom on the Right`` (``Bad Moon on the Rise``).

-- Herman`s Hermits` ``She`s a Muscular Boy`` (``She`s a Must To Avoid``).

-- Run DMC`s ``Do Be Ellen`` (``You Be Illin` ``).

-- Van McCoy`s ``Do the Hot Dog`` (``The Hustle``).

Country songs have proven just as ripe for misinterpretation. Some of the examples Barnes received: