That loud grinding noise you just heard was the sound of a thousand models for hire taking their potential girlfriend resume package and throwing it into the paper shredder, because it turns out Bradley Cooper isn’t actually looking for new applicants right now.

Yesterday, The Sun was telling everyone that Bradley Cooper’s latest model girlfriend, Irina Shayk, had been given her two weeks notice because she wasn’t getting along with his mommy, Gloria Campano. Unfortunately for all the model types who were hoping this might be their chance to break into the professional girlfriend game, E! says the position of B. Coop’s girlfriend is still being filled by Irina Shayk.

According to a source, who I’m sure totally isn’t Irina Shayk’s agent, Bradley and Irina are still “very much together.” The source also shut down that rumor that Irina and Gloria hate each other by saying: “They are extremely close and hang out even when Bradley is not around. They have a vacation coming up as well.” The source then added: “They’re super super close, okay? They text all the time. They have BFF heart necklaces and matching lower-back tattoos. Irina made Gloria a friendship bracelet and she wore it till it got all gross and fell off. Would two people who aren’t completely real friends do that? Exactly.”

Bradley and Irina wasted no time in backing up E!’s story by strolling around for the paps in NYC on Sunday night. The Daily Mail has the riveting pictures. You know, if Bradley Cooper is ever looking for a little extra work, I’d suggest he offer to teach a class at The Learning Annex on how to get pap-ready in such a short amount of time. “Irina, hand me paddle brush and a can of dry shampoo. NO, NOT THE BATISTE, IRINA – THE GOOD STUFF.”

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