The Best Christmas Present for Men You Know Is Rubber Testicles

Individual cottage industry of perfect ideas Amy Sedaris has resolved your quandary about what to get the men in your life for Christmas, birthdays, or any other gift-giving festival. Present to them some rubber testes:

There’s this thing you can get — you know when you order, like, heart models or organ models? There’s one you can get of testicles and it just sits in the palm of your hand. It’s for men and they massage this model so they can tell if they’ve got you know, test — I can’t pronounce it, testicular cancer or something like that. It’s a good go-to gift that I’ve gotten people before. It costs like $110, $120 and it comes in a beautiful box and it’s just a set of balls. It’s a really good present to give guys. I think it’s a fantastic present. That’s gonna be back on my number-one list to give men in my life.

This Christmas, don’t get men something they need, don’t get men something they want, don’t get men something they don’t know that they want: Just get your men life-size replicas of some balls.