"Roll up Roll up! The Scour circus is in town! The big top is erect, the candy floss is sweet, the lions and tigers…are drinking Jaeger bombs and playing topless darts? Mr. Stabalina Nooooooo! He might be a wizard producer but his big cat taming game leaves a lot to be desired. He’s on his final warning.

Never fear, we also have the mighty strongman; Bear Twists….Bear! Put Father Funk down, he needs to wear that sequinned swimsuit tonight on the high wire! Good Christ don’t rip his tights! Why the hell did fortune teller Phibes not warn me? He’s fired….out of a cannon! Oh no, DJP is our human cannonball, ably assisted by deadly trigger man, The Breakbeat Junkie.

Where’s that layabout WBBL? He’s juggling penguins? That’s his new act? I’ll have his eyes! Right, send in the Rollomatik clowns….What do you mean their car’s broken down? They’re freaking clowns! Their car is supposed to break down! Cockney Nutjob where’s your beard? No! Beards are not ‘so last season’, not when YOUR’E EMPLOYED AS THE BEARDED LADY!

This is an outrage, right, bring out the knife throwers….ummmmmm J-Sound, why is Aldo Vanucci spinning around with a knife sticking out of his chest - you’ve bloody killed him…You've killed Aldo!!!

So yes…….Scour 5 is here! Maybe with some unicyclists and a bit of wrestling, if anyone’s still alive!"