When Asking About Your Pants Isn’t a Pick Up Line

Over the weekend, I ran into the grocery store to buy a book of stamps. As I stood in line, the customer in front of me questioned the price of every single item. So annoying. Meanwhile, something entirely different was going on behind me.

An older couple kept inching in on my turf. They’d move their cart a bit, the man would strain his neck and look me up and down. The woman made a waving motion to her man to step even closer to me. I tried to ignore them but then they made contact!

The man gently tapped my arm. I whirled around, ready to unleash a whole litany about personal space and who did he think he was and a few profanities I’ll not mention here. When he spoke, his voice was very soft, with a European accent I couldn’t quite place. Here’s what went down.

After chatting with the couple about US sizes, inseams and where the closest mall was, we determined his best bet was to buy a size 4 pair of jeans. Once the confusion was cleared up, I was happy to help. But the couple repeated more times than necessary that their niece was considerably skinnier than me.

Has this happened to you? Did you suspect someone of spitting game only to find out they had a non-romantic question? Or has a guy mistakenly thought you were trying to pick up on him? And since we haven’t talked about pick up lines in awhile, let’s hear some of your favorites, or least favorites!