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17 September 2007

Stress

Sometimes an upcoming situation is stressful because it's not been experienced before, and the unknown is unsettling.

Sometimes an upcoming situation is even more stressful because you've been there before and you know exactly what you're in for.

I've been feeling pretty stressed lately and it's resulted in a cold. Today, as I rested at home while Grant and the boys were at church, I had the chance to think about things and to work out exactly why I'm feeling so wound up lately and why I have an almost constant feeling of butterflies in my tummy and have begun clenching my teeth (hello, anxiety, anyone?) It's because, as usual, experiencing one great life change (Grant's new career) isn't enough for us at once. We need to go the whole hog and throw another couple of stressors in (new house, oh, in a new town, meaning new school for Daniel, new doctors to be found, learn the area, etc). While these are exciting ventures, they're also stressful, of course.

I thought back over the last 12 years and had to laugh - it's no wonder I'm a basket case. I feel stress fairly easily, and yet, these are the experiences we've had over the last decade - this is a list of the most stressful experiences I copied off a website and added our dates to. (Please note the special blend of more than one experience at a time that we tend towards. New baby? Ooh, let's throw in some post-partum depression, and a house move, and unemployment, and my mom's stroke into the mix! Should spice things up. Becuase, you know, having your first baby isn't enough to deal with at once.)

1996 - moved into our house; battled with health problems and very stressful job

1997 - continuing health problems; got a new job

1998 - continuing health problems; sold house; moved in with Mom for three months; moved into new house

1999 - got health problems addressed at last; applied for visa to England; sold all possessions and rented out house; moved to England; moved into first flat

2000 - did various temp jobs; got permanent job; moved flat again; began trying for a baby

2001 - trip to South Africa; got pregnant with some homeopathic help; quit work; Grant lost his job; moved to Lancashire; moved again; had Obstetric Cholestasis (life threatening to baby) which nobody would believe me about until tests I demanded proved it; was induced two weeks early; gave birth

2002 - postnatal depression; Mom had a stroke; Mom remarried and moved to Norway; Grant got a job

2003 - bought house and moved again; started my own business (Scrapworld - online scrapbooking products store)

2004 - began trying for second baby; sold business; got pregnant; trip to South Africa

2005 - Obstetric Cholestasis again but tests wouldn't prove it so they wouldn't believe me even though had all symptoms; convinced them to induce 2 weeks early; had baby; found cure to my ongoing depression (hooray!); started new business

2006 - sold house and bought new one; moved to new home; supported one of best friends through seperation

2007 - Grant new career; house on market again - oh, and one of my very best friends moved 3 hours away and another has had major surgery for cancer (her tests are all clear now, praise the Lord!)

Bottom line? I do embrace our life. Each of these experiences has made me who I am today. They've strengthened my faith. I'm looking forward to the changes coming up. But I need to find ways to cope with the stress involved. I've begun stress eating, which is no good! I have decided that even though it's the last thing I feel like, once I am well again I am going to get on that treadmill and pound out the tension a few times a week. I also need to spend more time with my friends and be more organised with our home and daily routine.

I'm bracing myself for the next bend in the river, which always seems to contain rapids.