Everyone expects instant success, a happy family life, a successful career or business, the perfect partner and financial freedom. Is it reality? Often no and the reason why is they lose their way or don’t know what they want. The solution – a road map to help you find out where you are, where you want to go and the best way to get there.

Let me explain.

Ever been to a shopping mall you are unfamiliar with? Chances are the first thing you do is find a map. On the map is a little sign with an arrow that says… “You are Here!” Feeling relieved, you know exactly where you are and begin to orientate yourself. You then decide where you want to go and plan how you will get there.

Some people are blessed with an internal map, they know where they are, where they want to go and intrinsically know how to get there. They have their destiny all mapped out. Their internal map guides them in their daily life; their careers, friendships, marriages, and even business dealings. They have a clearly defined vision for their future and created goals that support their vision.

People like this are also blessed with guiding principles that help them succeed in all aspects of their life. They have well-crafted values and make decisions based on these values. These guiding principles were taught to them by their parents, teachers, a coach, college professor or even a mentor or boss. They have this innate sense of who they are, what they stand for, where they are headed and how they will get there.

For most people this is not the case.

Where is your focus?

Consider this sentence. “I never said he stole the money.” Now say the sentence 7 times putting an emphasis on the words in capitals.

I NEVER said he stole the money. I never SAID he stole the money. I never said HE stole the money. I never said he STOLE the money. I never said he stole THE money. I never said he stole the MONEY.

When you put an emphasis on a different word in this sentence, you completely change the meaning. It’s like putting a comma in the wrong place. When this happens, the whole sentence becomes screwed up. Often you aren’t even aware that you put the emphasis on the wrong word or the comma in the wrong place until someone points it out to you.

Imagine a chef leaving out one secret ingredient, it changes the taste of the entire dish.

Imagine a doctor failing to notice a suspicious mole on your back and it turns into a melanoma.

Imagine an actor failing to deliver a critical line in a play – it changes the whole essence of the scene.

Imagine a detective failing to notice a critical piece of evidence and it leads to the arrest of an innocent person.

For you, it may be failing to notice one bad habit that holds you back and prevents you from succeeding. Metaphorically speaking, putting a comma in the wrong place, placing the emphasis on a wrong word and suddenly your future takes on a different course. If this happens, how do you get back on track?

The question is – are you lost right now?

Are you currently lost?

Sometimes you don’t realize you are lost until someone points it out to you. and puts you on the right track.

Ever walked into a maze? It can be so confusing even to the point where you become lost and you need help getting out. Once you are safely out of the maze you are surprised at how simple the solution was all along. Often it’s your blind spot that’s holding you back. Finding the right coach, online program, mentor model or even a book can help you identify where and why you got lost.

It might be as simple as having a bad habit you are unaware of. You can’t change a habit you don’t know you have. The Johari window is a great model to find out what habits are holding you back.

The Johari Window

The Johari Window is a communication model that is used to improve understanding between individuals. The word “Johari” is taken from the names of Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, who developed the model in 1955.

There are two key ideas behind The Johari Window:

You can build trust with significant others by disclosing information about yourself.

With the help of feedback from others, you can learn more about yourself, identify your blind spots and come to terms with personal issues or habits holding you back.

By challenging yourself and finding out what your blind spots are, you are well on the way to learning what habits are holding you back and what changes you need to make to get to where you want to go.

How to get back on track

Step 1:

You must find out where you are. If you use the Johari Window model, the simple thing to do is ask friends, family colleagues, your boss, coach or mentor what your blind spots are. If you do, you must be willing to accept their feedback without recrimination or judgement. Just take it on board and mull over it.

Step 2:

You must listen without prejudice. Listen to the message and the meaning behind the message not just the words used. Sometimes the message is in what they don’t say just as much as what they do say.

Step 3:

You must accept the feedback without arguing back only then do you have room to improve. If you can’t or won’t, you will stay stuck wherever you are. That means no coach, mentor, online program or anything else will be able to help you because acceptance is the first step to moving forward.

Once you accept the feedback and you are willing to learn from it, you then begin to take responsibility for your life. Only then can you find your way forward.

Step 4:

Now that you have become more aware of yourself, your blind spots and possible bad habits, you are ready to commit to change.

The Destiny Train

VISION

What makes the Destiny Train model so powerful is that it becomes your personal coach, mentor, guide and teacher. The first stage of the Destiny Train It guides you on how to create a compelling VISION for the future that keeps you inspired to face any challenges that comes your way.

VALUES

The second stage of the Destiny Train are your VALUES. Your values are your moral compass and vision is your guiding light in everything you do from career choices, to choosing a partner in life to how you conduct yourself when no one is looking.

GOALS

The third stage of the Destiny Train are your goals. Your goals are the fuel or driving force that propels you forward. Many people start with goals. Goals alone won’t get you there because in this model what is missing is the engine room and guiding light leading the way. A train won’t go far without an engine.

BELIEFS

The 4th stage of the Destiny Train is your belief system. If you have good self-esteem and believe you will succeed you will. If you have poor self-esteem and don’t believe you will succeed – you won’t. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

CHOICES

The fifth stage of the Destiny train are the choices you make. Make good choices then of course you will have good outcomes. Make poor choices and you create poor outcomes. The reason you make poor choices is fear. You are afraid to step outside your comfort zone where the opportunities in life lie.

ACTION

The sixth stage of the Destiny Train is to take action. Having goals or making plans without implementing them leads to a dead end. It means nothing if you fail to follow through. Procrastination is a theft of time and a major reason why you fail to reach your potential.

RESULTS

The seventh stage of the Destiny Train is the results you get. If you follow each stage around the Destiny Train Track you will realize your vision, reach your goals and achieve the level of success you deserve.

If at any point you do derail – it’s very simple, just get back on the track where you came off and continue your journey.

In conclusion

If driving across country and you take a wrong turn, if you have a map or GPS in your car, it’s easy to find your way back to the right road. Think of The Johari Window and The Destiny Train as your own personal GPS system to guide you towards your future vision.

On a final note

Whenever you make a mistake or experience a small failure,think of it as taking a wrong turn. By using your personal GPS and road map you can easily get yourself back on track.

In a Nutshell

Some people are blessed with an internal map – they know where they are and where they want to go and how to get there.

When you put the emphasis on the wrong place in a sentence, you change the whole meaning of the sentence.

Imagine a chef leaving out one secret ingredient, it changes the taste of the entire dish.

Imagine a doctor failing to notice a suspicious mole on your back and it turns into a melanoma.

Imagine a detective failing to notice a critical piece of evidence and it leads to the arrest of an innocent person.

Sometimes you don’t realize you are lost until someone points it out to you. and puts you on the right track.

Use the Johari Window to uncover your blind spots:

Find out where you are.

Listen without prejudice.

Accept the feedback without arguing back.

Commit to change.

The Destiny Train Model

Develop a VISION for the future.

Craft VALUES to guide you on your journey.

Create goals to support your vision and values.

Develop self-belief.

Make the right choices.

Take action.

You get the results you want.

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Carolyn Landesman

Carolyn (Caro) is an inspirational leader, motivator and founder of Strategez for Success. Caro holds a Master’s in Business Administration (MBA), is a Certified Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), a Sales Trainer, Business Coach and published Author. She provides easy to follow Strategez to help you achieve your personal, professional and business goals.