Tag: Loneliness

Sometimes it’s just too easy to forget, and the older I get the more this becomes my super-power.

I feel confident my friends over fifty can relate…hmmm…unless, of course, they have forgotten how often they forget.

It’s true, I walk into a room and forget my reason for being there. I stand blank-eyed, trying to remember what I was just thinking about before I entered the room. My reasoning is this, perhaps my last train of thought is what led me to this room, so if I can remember that then maybe that would jog my memory as to why I am standing helplessly looking at the contents scattered within the four walls.

One time I got out of the car, closed the door, and realized I had forgotten my phone. Knowing I would need it later, I asked my daughter…(on the other end of the line) to wait a moment while I retrieved my phone. (true story)

Another time, again with my daughter, I found myself stuck in the snow.

I was in the midst of helping her move just outside of Boston. We finally finished unloading the truck and hauling her stuff up three flights of stairs, and now it was time to go out and grab a bite to eat. Beth jumped into the passenger seat and I got behind the wheel, we were sooo tired but happy the hard stuff was over.

Well, if you’ve visited Boston in the mid of winter, you know, more than likely, snow will be upon the ground, and it was on this particular day. Thinking about a cheeseburger I cranked up the old girl (my truck), put her in drive, and proceeded to exit the parking space; however, the wheels would do nothing but spin in place.

Two hungry women on a mission would not be deterred…so I told Beth to get out and push.

When that didn’t work we dug the snow from around all four tires and tried it again…me at the wheel and Beth pushing as hard as she could.

When that didn’t work we searched for something to slide under the wheels, hoping it would give some sort of traction for the spinning wheels. We finally found a scrap of cardboard and I put it under the left front tire, as we were parallel-parked. We assumed the familiar position, me at the wheel and Beth, outside pushing with all her might…still the wheels did nothing but spin!

Beth, exhausted from pushing, finally stopped and came to sit beside me in the passenger seat. We were now two hangry women.

Frustrated, I smacked my hand against the steering wheel of the truck and noticed the small red light that illuminated the word brake.

That was the last time Beth has ever asked me to help her move.

Thank God, enough time has passed so that now we can at least laugh about it.

These funny stories came to mind as I read my morning meditation.

The meditation had taken me to John chapter 14. Here, I found Jesus talking to his friends/disciples saying,

“Remember what I have told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again…I have told you these things before they happen so that you will believe when they do happen.”

Jesus was telling his friends that soon he would die. He loved them and was worried about how they would feel when he was killed. He worried they would feel confused, abandoned and afraid all of his promises had been a lie. So, over and over again in the four gospels, he tells them,

“Remember what I have told you…”

Friends, I believe Jesus, rich in his compassion, is telling us the same thing…

“Remember what I have told you…”

When things go wrong and people hurt us…it’s so easy to forget he is with us. Feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, and utter despair draw us down into those dark places we created as a child to keep us safe.

How easy it is to return to that lonely stomping ground.

Jesus knew this for his disciples and presently, he knows it for us, as well. If we could but be still in those moments and just breathe…we would hear his voice gently telling us…

“Remember what I have told you…”

I can write this with confidence because He has put his Holy Spirit deep within us and his Spirit abides with us even our in our darkest moments. Jesus gave us his Spirit because he loves us so much, and he doesn’t want us to be alone or feel alone. (It’s possible to be with people but feel alone…been there done that.) In this world, our most loved friends and family may leave us, but Jesus never will.

“…know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you…the Father sends the Counselor…and by Counselor I mean the Holy Spirit, he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I myself have told you.”

This morning, as I read Psalms chapter 9, a message began to form in my mind. A message, I believe, to be from God. A message, He wants all the hurting to hear. And so as I pondered over the verses I began to read it as if God, Himself, were talking and this is what He said to me…

“My dear one, you are my child. Come to me and I will be your place of safety, and I’ll give you strength in this time trouble. When you come to me, I will never abandon you. I hear your cries of affliction and abuse. I have seen how they despise and oppress you. Far too many times you are overlooked and forgotten. I’ll never forget you and I’ll always surround you with mercy and grace. Most of all, my dear child, have hope because one day all will be made right. Soon I will arise from this throne, I will come; and I will deliver you. Until that day, have hope and know you are loved.”

I hear the voice of God interwoven between the verses of Psalms 9. He has so much to say to those of us who are hurting. I take hope in knowing, he see’s every tear that falls from my eyes. He feels every pain from abandonment and every pain from loneliness.

Sometimes that pain leads me to such despair that I think death would be better. It’s scary how often the pain can lead me there. All who have taken their life because those they love, despise who they are, I feel their pain.

This is not an easy place to be, and when I am there I truly need the place of safety that God offers. I need His strength. I need to know; He doesn’t abandon me. I need to know I’m not someone He tries to “fit in” during special occasions and holidays. I need to know I am not overlooked and forgotten. I need His mercy and grace; for without it I can’t go on. I need to know, one day all will be right. I need hope.

I must have hope for without it I die.

For everyone who finds themselves in this space, hear, again, what God wants to say to you…

“My dear one, you are my child. Come to me and I will be your place of safety, and I’ll give you strength in this time trouble. When you come to me, I will never abandon you. I hear your cries of affliction and abuse. I have seen how they despise and oppress you. Far too many times you are overlooked and forgotten. I’ll never forget you and I’ll always surround you with mercy and grace. Most of all, my dear child, have hope because one day, all will be made right. Soon I will arise from this throne. I will arise; I will come; I will deliver you. Until that day, have hope and know you are loved.”

My Prayer: Lord, thank you for knowing the hidden of places of my heart. The places that hide the pain no one else sees. Thank you for coming into those places and abiding with me there. Thank you, when I’m lonely, I’m not alone; when I’m overlooked, I’m not forgotten; when I am despised, I am loved. Lord, Let these words find place in the heart of someone who is hurting. Let them know they are not alone, and they are loved. Give them hope, please Lord, I pray. Amen.

(A publication in the “Walking Through Psalms” series”)

Personal note: My apologies the for sharing such personal and raw emotions…however, I felt led to do so…

Be true to your calling, even when you are shunned. The pain, as much as it hurts, is far less than, the pain of living a lie. When my path becomes lonely, God’s Spirit whispers, “I am here and nothing can separate you from Me.” Armed with this thought, I put one foot in front of the other and stay the course.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate [me] from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus [my] Lord. Romans 8:38-39