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And then this happened...

WARNING- this starts off as a bit of a rant, but I needed to get this off my chest.

I watched a report on TV yesterday about a couple being told that they are legally not allowed to begin IVF. In the state of Victoria, there is legislation requiring couples who wish to start IVF to have Police Record Checks and Child Protection Order checks. When I was filling out these forms last week, my husband and I talked about how ridiculous it was that we had to do this. No other state in Australia asks for these kind of checks prior to IVF (or any medical treatment), so it felt wrong that we had to do this.Anyway, watching the programme yesterday made me further question the whole legislation. The lesbian couple interviewed had wanted a child of their own so badly, but the Police Record Check uncovered that one of the women had a criminal conviction about 15 years ago; and the Child Protection Order Check said that she had previously had children in her care removed from her custody. Those children were not her own kids, they were her partner's children (so she had no legal right to them) and they went to live with their father. All of this history has meant that her future child plans have been squashed. They've challenged this legislation, and after a few years her and her partner have now reached the end of their window to conceive due to age. If she wasn't a lesbian, she probably could have conceived and become a mother by now. It's disgusting that the law can have such control over certain couple's family plans.Criminal Record Checks for prospective parents that are dealing with infertility is wrong. There are no such checks done on "normal" fertile couple's who are planning a family. Does it suggest that pedophiles use IVF as a way of creating their own prey? What happens to couple's that are told that their dream of having a child through IVF is cancelled due to a criminal conviction in one of the couple's past? I suppose it could mean that the couple may just move to another state and proceed with their IVF treatment.

I believe that people change a lot through their lives, and mistakes that were made when they are young and stupid become ancient history if that person has chosen to make a better life for themselves! I think this way because someone close to me made a stupid mistake at age 18, and received a criminal record. That mistake has stopped this person from gaining certain jobs, travelling to the USA (15 years after the record), and still causes this person to have to apply to want to travel internationally. A stupid, stupid decision at age 18 has affected the rest of this persons life. Who didn't make a stupid decision at age 18? I can't imagine having something dumb I did back then being thrown back at me forevermore. Anyway, this person has grown up, and made better decisions to lead a full and happy life, despite this ancient conviction tapping them on their shoulder every now and then. So what if that person decided to attempt IVF treatment in this state? Will the government say no? Aaaaah, it makes me too mad to think about! Infertility is hard enough to accept and deal with, without having the added pressure of potentially being told that a legislation may stop a couple from having a child. Here's an article on the implications of this legislation: Reproductive Rights.A few years ago I did some work in a primary school (with kids aged 5-12 years), and had to apply for a 'Working with Children Check" before I started. This was such a basic form, and they sent me an ID card which was valid for 5 years. A Police Record Check was not required to work in a school and have access to other people's children, but it is required for an infertile couple wanting to have a baby of their own! Enough of my rant. I also wanted to share a major step that I have made this weekend... It may sound silly to some, but I'm very proud of myself. Last night, my Hubby and I went to see a show ("An Evening with John Cleese", which was hilarious by the way!) at the Princess Theatre in Melbourne. After the show, we wandered to our favourite bar, which is all decked out in 1930's decor, playing old style music and the bar staff all take their craft very seriously. The cocktails here are the best we've ever come across in the world, and trust me, we've tried MANY. Anyway, I love this place so much, and was so close to ordering a delicious French 75 gin cocktail, but I didn't. I remembered my challenge to not drink, and I stuck to it! Now I've passed my first test, hopefully it'll be easy from now on. A small win toward a healthier Ali preparing for IVF :-)

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Oh my, I read this and got MAD. If we allow homeless women to have children, why can't we allow settled women? If we allow women who let the government take care of them and they're on their 8th, 9th kid, why can't we let women who take care of themselves? All because of something stupid done when younger?? I have to admit. I made a LOT of stupid decisions from the time I was about 16 until I was about 19 almost 20. If those followed me and kept me from having a child it would be SO wrong. I am a different person now, those stupid choices are no longer part of my life, nor have they been for a long time. I never got in trouble, but still!Grrrr.r.....OK, I do love the bar though!

I totally and utterly agree with everything you have said. I was absolutely flaming mad for about 3 weeks last Nov when we had to do our police and child protection checks! It really shook me up. In the end, I just let it go. But yes, I totally agree with everything you've said! Well done on the not drinking :-) I'm in the same boat as we are doing our next FET in 2 week's time - yay! Hang in there - you are doing just great! x

If you're new to the world of parenthood, or if you want to find some cool family things to do in Melbourne then this blog is for you! Here you will find fun tips, adventures and insights about parenthood.

Hi, my name is Ali. I've overcome infertility and invite you along for the bumpy ride of parenthood. Join me on my mission to make the most of every moment with family!