It was lovely to get together with you again for a drink the other night. I really enjoyed the wide-ranging and lively conversation. We certainly have no shortage of things to talk about! I am fascinated by your journey towards being a leadership coach, a career path that, as you know, I seriously considered myself. And I love hearing about your work as a parenting coach with single dads. You are a guy who is making a difference in the world and somebody who is living a big life. I admire those things about you.

Though we seem to have lots of shared interests and a similar outlook on life, it doesn’t feel as though we are headed towards a romantic relationship. I’m not sure where you’re at in this regard.

I hope that your candidate’s campaign launch goes well, and that the campaign itself is successful. You have busy times ahead of you!

Talk to you soon, Xavier.

Sally

p.s. Did I tell you that I’ve always wanted to date someone with such an exotic name?

For the first time reading these, I’ve wondered. What it is that lights the match for you? Is it even possible to put that into words? So many people would say the ability to have a lot to talk about, common interests could get a person 2/3 of the way there. So, what’s the missing 1/3? No need to answer, by the way. It’s just an interesting question that popped up when I read this. That intangible “it” that is either there or not.

This reminds me of one of the early letters Melissa writes to Andy in “Love Letters.” Something to the effect of, “I like you a lot… sort of like the brother I never had.” Totally paraphrasing, but that was the tone.
It’s good you can identify that something’s missing before delving deeper. And, seriously, we should all be so lucky as to date a guy named Xavier, at least once. 😉

I wish his name really was Xavier. I might have had to go out on a couple more dates with him if it was! But seriously, he was a great guy. Just not right for me. And I agree: it is always best when you can figure out that it’s a no go early enough that there are no bruised egos or hurt feelings. Thanks for dropping by, Ellen!

In my fantasy world, you pronounce it Xsaviehh. In real life, I’m not so sure. (X was lovely, but his name wasn’t nearly so exotic…) As for Will, it just didn’t work out. Another lovely guy, but with some traits that I found increasingly difficult to live with. When I explain it like this, it sounds flippant and as though it was a quick decision. It wasn’t. It was hard. Lots about that man to like…

I think it’s one of the curses of Internet dating. We meet people in such a weird world in places like POF. I would probably not ever go out once with most of the guys I date on the Internet. If I met them in real life first, I’d see what they look like, see how they interact with other people, know what other people think of them… So much of what I’d screen for naturally has to happen on that first coffee date. And it’s only after that that we can begin the process of acquainting ourselves.