School’s Out: A Message to the “New Adults” on Patience, Timing and Figuring it All Out

I was working my dream job as a newspaper writer had my own car, was living life on my own terms and being an adult. In my head, this is what it meant to be a woman! I was a carefree young adult who still lived at home with my parents, had no bills to pay, no children and partied with my friends just about every weekend.

At the time, these were the things that were most important to me and even though I was saving money towards my future, I really couldn’t define what that would entail.

Would I get married and have kids?

Did I want to live in The Bahamas or move abroad?

Did I want to rent, own or both?

Was I going to remain on the career path that I was on or work in another field?

Was the amount of money I was making going to be enough to money to afford the lifestyle I wanted?

Was I going to travel the world?

There were so many questions and so little answers.

I think it was around my 22nd birthday that it started to dawn on me; two years later, and I still didn’t have all the answers to these very important questions. I was wrapping up my final semester in college and needed to figure stuff out fast!

I actually made a physical list of all the things I wanted to achieve and realized that very little of them were checked off.

I was 23-years-old, heading into my 24th birthday, I had just broken up with my boyfriend, I’d switched jobs and I was going through a really trying time.

These years were tough!

Being the overachiever that I am, I started to beat myself up for not being able fix the things that I thought were going wrong.

I thought no matter the problem that presented itself, I should always be in charge and I should always have the answers. Well, I was dead wrong! It wasn’t until I realized that it was ok to not have it all figured out, that things actually started to get done. It wasn’t until I gave myself the space to live, learn and grow that I figured out that all these things take time and if I don’t know it now, then I’ll learn it soon. Besides, I was still young and I still had a lot to learn.

But it doesn’t have to be. You’ll always find yourself questioning yourself, worrying that you’re not enough and upset that you don’t have all the answers. But you’re not supposed to have it all figured out….not now, not ever.

Nowadays with social media being so influential in our lives, young adults are pressured and forced into adulthood far earlier than they ought to be. The images and videos you’re bombarded with on a daily basis tell you that you need to be, see, do, act, know…now.

But that’s really not the case.

They tell you that you need to be wearing the same clothes, doing your makeup like a pro, rollin’ in the cash, driving flashy cars, going to the same events as the adults are and keeping up with a lifestyle that’s way beyond your means mentally, financially and spiritually.

At your age;

It’s ok to be confused.

It’s ok to ask questions.

It’s ok to seek advice.

It’s ok to change your mind.

It’s ok to wait until your gut tells you to do it.

It’s ok to say no.

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed,.

It’s ok to cry.

It’s ok to juggle a few options.

It’s ok to be young.

Early adulthood is the time to make the mistakes and change courses in life, love and career, if you want to. It’s the time where you test your limits and your strengths and explore all the options available to you. This the time where you observe and suck up information and knowledge from your teachers, lecturers, peers, parents, role models and work hard toward your goals.

No one expects for you to get it all right all the time. No one expects for you to know everything now or have it all figured out. Like every aspect of life, young adulthood is a journey, and journeys don’t happen overnight. They’re a happily frustrating period of ups and downs, good times and bad times, trials and tribulations, but they all lead to personal growth and achievement.

You have to realize that being a young adult is a privilege, because you have the leeway to make mistakes now, learn from them and bounce back.

As a now 31-year-old who had to navigate early adulthood and figure it all out as well, I can definitely tell you that you must always clear your own path and never follow anyone else’s. The ride wont always be easy, you will make mistakes, have missteps and failures. Regret will be the hallmark of some days and worry, the blanket of many nights. But you will accomplish more, do more, love more, be more than you know at this point and you will be amazing.

While you bask in all your youthful innocence oblivious to the mean, cruel world that sits at your doorstep waiting for you step out and tear you down, be prepared for the rides; the good times, the bad times, the times in between for they will all shape who you will become and grow to be.

I know you can’t even fathom what that is, but rest assured the time will fly by, days will rapidly turn to nights, friends will be come strangers, strangers will become friends, friends will become lovers, your family will ALWAYS be there and you will gracefully muscle through it all.

6 Responses

Carmen Moss

June 24, 2017

Excellent points, tips and advice that’s applicable to us all!
But like my mom always said ‘youth and wisdom do not come at the same time! 😃 And that is so true! Because like the song goes, ‘if I knew then what I know now’…..lol.
Keep it up!

Magdalene White

June 23, 2017

I am proud of you. As one of those teachers who taught you, I am happy for the advice you are now giving to the younger ones and to my own children. Keep reaching for the stars, they are all in your reach….with time…..

I can hear so much of my story in your words that it’s almost unbelievable. I’m glad that I was able to realise that life really is a journey and not a final place, that helped to to better understand my choices and priorities.

ianthia

June 22, 2017

Awesome! I think this is everyone’s story, but we don’t realise it until late in life! We need our kids to grasp this concept earlier then we did, I think they’ll appreciate life more that way

Nishka

June 20, 2017

Excellent points…and this line :”They’re a happily frustrating period of ups and downs, good times and bad times, trials and tribulations, but they all lead to personal growth and achievement.”…. important to always remember as time passes by & the familiar becomes the unfamiliar.