John Adams to Abigail Adams

[dateline] Paris Jan. 22. 1783

[salute] My dearest Friend

The Preliminaries of Peace and an Armistice, were Signed at Versailles on the 20 and
on the 21. We went again to pay our Respects to the King and Royal Family upon the
Occasion. Mr. Jay was gone upon a little Excursion to Normandie and Mr. Laurens was
gone to Bath, both for their health, so that the signature was made by Mr. Franklin
and me.1 I want an Excursion too.

Thus drops the Curtain upon this mighty Trajedy. It has unravelled itself happily
for Us. And Heaven be praised. Some of our dearest Interests have been saved, thro
many dangers. I have no News from my son, Since the 8th. december, when he was at
Stockholm,2 but hope every hour to hear of his Arrival at the Hague.

I hope to receive the Acceptance of my Resignation So as to come home in the Spring
Ships.3

I had written thus far when yours of 23 decr. was brought in.4 Its Contents have awakened all my sensibility, and shew in a stronger Light than
ever the Necessity of my coming home. I confess I dont { 75 } like the Subject at all. My Child is too young for such Thoughts, and I dont like
your Word “Dissipation” at all. I dont know what it means, it may mean every Thing.
There is not Modesty and Diffidence enough in the Traits you Send me. My Child is
a Model, as you represent her and as I know her, and is not to be the Prize, I hope
of any, even reformed Rake. A Lawyer would be my Choice, but it must be a Lawyer who
spends his Midnights as well as Evenings at his Age over his Books not at any Ladys
Fire side. I Should have thought you had seen enough to be more upon your Guard than
to write Billets upon such a subject to such a youth. A Youth who has been giddy enough
to Spend his Fortune or half his Fortune in Gaieties, is not the Youth for me, Let
his Person, Family, Connections and Taste for Poetry be what they will. I am not looking
out for a Poet, nor a Professor of belle Letters.

In the Name of all that is tender dont criticise Your Daughter for those qualities
which are her greatest Glory her Reserve, and her Prudence which I am amazed to hear
you call Want of Sensibility. The more Silent She is in Company, the better for me
in exact Proportion and I would have this observed as a Rule by the Mother as well
as the Daughter.

You know moreover or ought to know my utter Inability to do any Thing for my Children,
and you know the long dependence of young Gentlemen of the most promising Talents
and obstinate Industry, at the Bar. My Children will have nothing but their Liberty
and the Right to catch Fish, on the Banks of Newfoundland. This is all the Fortune
that I have been able to make for myself or them.

I know not however, enough of this subject to decide any Thing. Is he a Speaker at
the Bar? If not he will never be any Thing. But above all I positively forbid, any
Connection between my Daughter and any Youth upon Earth, who does not totally eradicate
every Taste for Gaiety and Expence. I never knew one who had it and indulged it, but
what was made a Rascall by it, sooner or later.

This Youth has had a Brother in Europe, and a detestible Specimen he exhibited. Their
Father had not all those nice sentiments which I wish, although an Honourable Man.5

I think he and you have both advanced too fast, and I should advise both to retreat.
Your Family as well as mine6 have had too much Cause to rue, the Qualities which by your own Account have been
in him. And if they were ever in him they are not yet out.

This is too Serious a Subject, to equivocate about. I dont like this method of Courting
Mothers. There is something too fantastical and { 76 } affected in all this Business for me. It is not nature, modest, virtuous, noble nature.
The Simplicity of Nature is the best Rule with me to Judge of every Thing, in Love
as well as State and War.

I would give the World to be with you Tomorrow. But there is a vast Ocean. No Ennemies.
But I have not yet Leave from my Masters. I dont love to go home in a Miff, Pet or
Passion nor with an ill Grace, but I hope Soon to have leave. I can never Stay in
Holland—the Air of that Country chills every drop of Blood in My Veins. If I were
to stay in Europe another Year I would insist upon your coming with your daughter
but this is not to be and I will come home to you.

1. The document was the “Declarations for Suspension of Arms and Cessation of Hostilities”
between the United States and Great Britain (Miller, ed., Treaties, 2:108–110), which JA signed first, as his commission to negotiate peace preceded that of Franklin. Letterbook
copies of this document are in the Adams Papers. The Americans signed the “Declarations” on 20 Jan., immediately after the signing
of preliminary articles of peace between Great Britain, France, and Spain. See Morris, Peacemakers, p. 408–409, and 541, note 92.

2. In his letter to JQA of 18 Feb., below, JA says that he had learned of JQA's arrival in Stockholm “only by the public Papers.” JQA's letter of 1 Feb., below, is the first he is known to have written to JA since 6 Sept. 1782 (vol. 4:378).

4. This paragraph is written in a different ink, and opens in much smaller, more compressed
characters then the preceding paragraphs. As JA writes on, however, he soon returns to his usual handwriting style.

6. JA could be referring to AA's wastrel brother, William Smith, but the reference to his own family is obscure.

7. JA's disapproval of AA's estimation of Royall Tyler and of her conduct with respect to relations between
Tyler and AA2 is the harshest among JA's letters to AA that survive. In later letters JA gradually softened his tone in discussing Tyler, and within a year he accepted Tyler
as a suitor to AA2.