My Procedure: Ultimate Juice Juice

Most people believe that I’m a pretty healthy person. I eat a lot of vegetables, and I try to exercise regularly. Everyday, I eat oatmeal and fruit for breakfast and carrots and apples for lunch, and I workout almost every day. What most people don’t know is the reason for my healthy behavior: I used to smoke cigarettes.

Most people would never guess that I smoked cigarettes for most of my adult life. All through my adolescence and my 20s, I smoked a pack to two packs every day! With the support of my family and friends, I was able to quit smoking 15 years ago. Today, I eat foods that are high in antioxidants in an effort to counteract the harmful effects of my past behavior. One of the best foods that I eat is my Ultimate Juice Juice.

Ultimate Juice Juice is 100% natural vegetable juice. I make about two gallons every two weeks, and I drink about four cups per day. In this post, I will show you how to make my Ultimate Juice Juice.

Ingredients

2 bunches of collard greens

2 bunches of kale

2 bunches of turnip greens

1 bunch of beet greens

2 bags of baby spinach

1 bunch of Swiss chard

10 large carrots

5 medium beets

1 gallon of distilled water

1/2 cup of honey

2 tablespoons of cayenne pepper

1 cup vinegar

Tools needs

1 Cuisinart food processor

2 three-gallon pots

1 ladle

4 half-gallon bottles

Instructions

Clean the greens

I don’t know if it’s true or not, but someone told me a long time ago that vinegar kills bacteria. When I clean my greens, all I do is dump them into a sink full of water and about 1 cup of vinegar.

NOTE: Before you dump the greens in the sink though, be sure you thoroughly clean the sink.

Clean the greens!

Let the greens sit in the water while you prepare the the beets and carrots and setup the Cuisinart. This will give the vinegar time to kill the bacteria.

Soften the roots

I’ve heard that raw foods are better than cooked foods because applying heat to food does something negative its molecular structure (very scientific of me, huh?). Nevertheless, you need to soften the beets and the carrots before you shove them into your Cuisinart, so I boil them for about a minute.

Boil those roots!

In one of your three-gallon pots, add about two gallons of water. Slice your beets and carrots and throw them in the pot and turn up the heat. Let the water get to a boil. After it boils for one minute, turn off the heat.

NOTE: I don’t wash the beets or carrots. The dirt and skin of tubers contain minerals that are good for you. They also contain bacteria, but we’re going to boil them for a minute, so that should kill most of them.

Cuisinart it up!

Now we’re ready to fire up the Cuisinart! I don’t rinse my greens or my roots. I just start throwing them in Cuisinart. For every batch, you’ll need to add about 1 1/2 cup of water. Start the grind.

Chop it up until it’s a fine paste and dump it into the other three-gallon pot.

Cuisinart that rabbit food!

The first batch is done!

Almost there!

Full up and ready to bottle!

This process takes about an hour. You’ll be at it for awhile. As you’re grinding through rabbit food, begin adding the honey and cayenne pepper.

Bottle it up!

After you’ve Cuisinart’d all the greens, roots, and spices, it’s time to bottle up the goods. Before you start scooping the goop into the bottles, use the ladle to mix up your stew. Remember, you’ve been adding, chopping, and mixing your goods in a random order – it’s not like we added equal amounts of spinach, chard, greens, roots, honey, and pepper to every batch. Give it a good stir and start shoveling it into the bottles.

Bottled and ready to chill!

This is a messy process. Don’t stress about the mess. Just rinse the bottle after it’s full and get started on the next one.

When you’re done, put the bottles into the refrigerator and let them chill overnight – or at least for twelve hours.

Enjoy!

Ready to take this delicious concoction to your belly? Let’s have at it.

Juice! Delicious!

Pour/squeeze about two cups into a large glass. Add an equal amount of water to your glass and stir. When drinking, try to relax your throat muscles and just let it slide down – similar to how you eat raw oysters. You don’t really want to taste the Ultimate Juice Juice. You just want to get it into your belly.

Down a glass in the morning and one at night. You should have enough to last you for two weeks.

About Mr. Clements

Mr. Clements is proud to be an English teacher at the Collegiate School of Medicine and Bioscience. When he's not designing lessons, grading assessments, or coaching the CSMB Debate Team, you can find him hunting, cleaning, or frying freshly caught lake fish from Southern Illinois.
View all posts by Mr. Clements →