Antartian Jokes

Saturday, November 6, 2010

An Antartian named Babbette finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she decide to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money , I'm going to lost my house as well. please let me win lotto."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Babbette again prays..."God, please let me win the Lotto ! I've lost my business , my house and I'm going to lost my car as well."
Lotto night comes and Bobbette still has no lock.
Once again , she prays..."My God , why have you forsaken me?? I've lose my business, my house and my car.
My children are starving . I don't often ask you for help and I have alwaybeen a good servant to you.
PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Babbette is confronted by the voice of God Himself: " Babbette , meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."

An Antartian was taking a tour of a national park. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The Antartian exclaimed, "Wow. I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"

Two Antartians were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the Captain announces, "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry, we have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later, the Captain announces, "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry, we have two engines left."
An hour later, the Captain announces, "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry, we have one engine left."
One Antartian looked at the other and said, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

There's this Antartian out for a walk. He comes to a river and sees another Antartian
on the opposite bank. "Hellooo!" he yells, "How do I get to the other side?"
The second Antartian looks up the river then down the river then shouts back,
"You are on the other side."

An airline captain was helping a new Antartian flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"