Tuesday, December 28, 2004

War On Drugs

Hardly anyone looks back on Prohibition and thinks “what a great idea! Let’s try that again.” Someday historians will look back on this period and wonder just what in the F$*#%*$#*%*$# we were thinking. The War on Some Drugs is far and away the most stupid, wasteful, mean-spirited and counterproductive undertaking our government has ever attempted.

The only silver lining in this multi-trillion dollar boondoggle is the entertainment value: you get to watch conservatives talking out both sides of their mouths and generally tripping all over themselves with contradictory slogans.

Limited Government. The same people who think workers’ safety laws, job training programs and environmental protection are “too much government” are simultaneously calling for the government to come swooping into people’s homes, their lives, and regulate their personal behavior to the Nth degree. So which is it, “Limited Government” or “Big Brother Knows Best”?

States’ Rights. Judges are often forced by federal Mandatory Minimum sentencing “guidelines” to hand down 20-year, 30-year sentences for possession of microscopic amounts of marijuana. Also, the states whose voters have decided to allow medical marijuana are constantly being bullied and over-ridden by gung ho federal prosecutors.

Cost/Benefit Analysis. Remember that Republican rallying cry during Clinton’s presidency? Every government attempt at cleaner air, cleaner water, increased workers’ safety, would be met with “how much is this big intrusive government boondoggle going to cost our poor hardworking taxpayers?” So let’s apply this cost/benefit analysis to the War on Drugs. We’ve spent God knows how many quatragazillions of our tax dollars, and incarcerated millions of people whose “crime” didn’t harm or affect anyone else. And the benefit is??

Jeez! Some of these "crack down on drugs" conservatives must have more personalities than Sybil. How do these schizoids even get through their daily routine without going off in 14 directions at once? And they’re running the show?!?!