I’ve only been to a hospital for a good reason, like the birth of a baby, a couple of times. That is not why I don’t like hospitals. Labour wards are great, they smell like flowers, and have balloons, and teddies, and there are babies! I don’t really think most labour wards are like hospitals at all really.

Personally, I’ve only had reason to be admitted to hospital on… 3 occasions. First, when I was five, I had to have my arm re-broken, after the first hospital set it at a 45 degree angle, and didn’t realise this for 6 weeks. I woke up during the anaesthetic. Second, I was in overnight with some weird breathing thing when I was 9. Third, when I was 10, I had some weird hip-pain thing, and ended up in traction for maybe 6 or 7 days. That’s not why I don’t like hospitals. In fact, as a patient, children’s wards are fascinating places with awesome toys.

I first started to really dislike hospitals when Brother was admitted for 12 days, after mangling his arm. He was in the same children’s ward that I had been in, 7 years earlier, and even then, it was still an interesting place with even cooler toys. However, after being in a hospital with a brother who may not ever regain full use of his arm (he did, he’s now fine) takes its toll, and I took a wander. And ended up in the ICU ward. Where I promptly freaked out.

The reason I really dislike hospitals may have started when my baby brother went to hospital to get his heart fixed, and never came home. I was 3, and couldn’t understand. Maybe because last year, the last place I saw my grandmother was in a hospital.

I know that’s why my mum doesn’t like hospitals. She thinks that having surgery, particularly of the heart or lung variety, is a death sentence. That’s why she really thought she was going to die during her lung biopsy this morning. I don’t like hospitals, because they are a reminder of what we are afraid of. I look around, and I see people who are clearly very ill with cancer. I see little girls in school uniform, walking around on crutches. I look toward their faces and notice the bandanas on their heads. I don’t like hospitals because they are full of sick people, and I don’t like hospitals because they fascinate me.

People go to hospital because they are sick or in pain. Sometimes they get better, sometimes they get sicker, sometimes they don’t make it home, sometimes its just a stepping stone and a forewarning of things to come.

I don’t like hospitals, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be there every step of the way for you Mum.

I hope you have your fears alleviated soon.

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Understanding Tashish

I'm a 28 year old teacher from Melbourne.
Mr G. and I have been married since April '09, and have always known that having a family was going to be a little more difficult than for the 'average' person, due to his Klinefelter's Syndrome.
We have been on a financially enforced 'break' from IVF since our miscarriage in late 2009. We hoped to cycle again in 2011, but pushed it out to early 2012.
It looks like this might be the one...
This is our story.

A Brief History of our TTC journey

September '06~ Meet Mr G, who tells me he has Klinefelter's (KFS) and will never be a father. Ever the eternal optimist, "never say never" say I.
Early '07~ Realise that this thing is for real, and start to look into MFI related to KFS. I am reassured by vague, sci-fi like stories of ICSI, and the Dr Google consensus that 'it's not impossible'. We try.
Nov '07~ Visit to the Endo for routine KFS checkup, obtain a referral to FS.
Dec '07~ Mr G proposes, and life goes all-wedding, all-time. We keep trying.
Late '08~ When it becomes obvious that it's not 'just going to happen', we make our first FS appointment, where it becomes clear that we will need help. Azoospermia, and a side order of suspected PCOS.
April' 09~ Our wedding
July/Aug '09 ~ IUI + injectables + donor sperm. AF arrives before beta.
September '09~ Book in for IVF
Oct '09 ~ Waiting, waiting, waiting... AF is almost a fortnight late
Nov/Dec '09 ~ IVF + ICSI + Donor Sperm. Stim for ages, poor response, threatened with cancellation. 2 eggs retrieved, 1 fertilised. 2 day, 4 cell, Grade B transfer. Faint Positive, Low first beta. Wait for appropriate HCG doubling. Levels are great, then that night the unthinkable happens.
Friday, 11th of December~ Our precious miracle is leaving.