Sunday, January 29, 2006

Like so many, I am hoping to lose weight for my New Year’s resolution. What type of diet should I choose?

- Alicia from Amesbury

Dear Alicia,

We torture ourselves with the latest diet fads only to realize these fads never live up to their promises. It’s not what we eat, or how we eat it but how much we eat. We simply eat too much food.

Compare the size of a take-out sandwich to one when I was growing up in the sixties. Back then, you had a slice of meat and a slice of cheese between two thin slices of bread. Now, they hand you a sandwich that’s big enough to come with a birth certificate. Congratulations, Mrs. Z. Here is your bouncing pastrami on rye. Do you need help getting it to your car?

Whatever diet you choose, please don’t eliminate all carbohydrates. Those crunchy, chewy creations coming out of the ovens at Annarosa’s Bakery are responsible for the “feel good” chemical, serotonin. Without these starches in your diet and an ongoing production of serotonin, you can become very cranky, very fast. Here’s a conversation I overheard between two close friends that quickly eroded over a low carb luncheon.

“Darling! So good to see you. You are looking fabulous!”

“Well, thanks, sweetheart. I had a Botox enema on Tuesday and my derriere has never been tighter!”

“You go, girlfriend! Should we order? Oh, and do you mind if I ask the waitress to remove the bread basket?”

“Low carb convert?”

“Low carb and loving it!”

(two rib-eye steaks with no potatoes and a side of cauliflower later)

“I’ve got the whole family eating low carb now.”

“Well, they must be thrilled not to suffer through your Baked Ziti anymore.”

What is Zen Mother?

Who pens Zen Mother?

Jennifer has considerable experience concerning the lives of women.In fact, Jennifer has been a female for over 45 years.She comes from a long line of females, including her mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.Legend has it that females have been a part of Jennifer’s lineage since the beginning of humankind.

She has won numerous awards for her writing, and was selected as Humor Writer of the Month by the prestigious Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop.