No, wait, that's all very wrong and we're sorry. Bring those ski and snowboard officials over here when they're done with Bode and we'll apologize to them as well, if you wish. What we meant to say was, if you'd like to learn more about figure skating, why not head over to this helpful interactive at MSNBC, where top animators have recreated the skating basics. You can peruse several different skating moves, and operate them with the click of a button. Inevitably, though, we encountered flaws:

1. In the animations, no one ever falls. That's our favorite part.
2. No music. We believe it was Winston Churchill who once said: what's an Olympics without the theme from Cats?
3. A conspicuous lack of sequins.
4. How about an animation of two skaters sitting on a bench, panting, as they are handed flowers? That would have been pleasant.
5. A nice touch would have been a tiny sign in the crowd that read "Fire Millen."