Ya' know, I can't recall when I quit praying. It's the oddest thing trying to bring that to mind.

I know in 2011 when my closest Friend died, I believed in *some* kind of supernatural stuffs, because I was comforted 'knowing' his spirit lived on. But I'm not sure the deity was part of that....if it was, it was in small doses....

Some months later when I came across atheist videos and such, I was intrigued by them but don't recall talking to the deity then either....

I stopped praying when I started catholic school. It's what turned me atheist. I had to force myself to stop, however. It was like a habit. It is a comforting feeling, but if it isn't real, I don't want any part in it.

My last and final prayer was to ask God to guide me in my doubt. If He were real that my mind and heart be open to the truth of it. Then I thought for several weeks, thinking about things here and there during that time and eventually realized that I didn't know if there is a god. I can't pray anymore because I don't have any faith that there is someone to receive my prayer. Before all of that, though, I used to pray all the time. Every day on the way in to work, on the way home, when I was alone, etc.

On Christmas day my dad asked me to pray for my brother- he said, "I'd just like you to bend your mind a little and pray for your brother." I didn't agree to pray for him, but redirected instead to offer to talk with him and be there for him as much as I could. But it was hard to do that, I wanted to just agree to pray but then I would be dishonest and all it would accomplish would be to give my dad false hope that I would reconvert.

Hmmm....I think I was probably about nine or ten. That's when my father and mother were on the receiving end of some church politics and they left their church. After that we quit attending any church for a year or so...never prayed after that (that I can remember).

I sometimes still pray to the God I no longer believe in - though it's rare now, and usually when I'm feeling out of control about something. It's usually stupid shit that has to do with my own lack of discipline. "Please, let me become a bestselling novelist," or, "Please give me the motivation to stop playing so many video games so I can write that book." LOL!

One transition thing that I've tried to consciously do is to shift my prayers away from a God-figure and to send my appeals to my unconscious mind, or my future self. Yeah, it sounds kind of hokey, but to me, the secular version of prayer is positive self-talk. Sometimes I slip and start praying involuntarily, but when I find myself slipping back into that old comfortable superstition, I am usually able to think my way out of it.

Another amazing coping mechanism for me is an iPad/iPhone app called SuperBetter - it's a game that's based on science that increases your resilience. Here's the TedTalk about it:

(Hope I linked it correctly - I'm new. )

The weird thing is, some of my most fervent prayers from my Christian years have been answered, though I remind myself that *I* took control of some of these events and made them happen...and my prayers about other people, well, they were in control of how THEIR lives played out too.

It's not easy leaving a faith that you've centred your life around, and it's not instantaneous (though I wish it was). It's a process, and not an easy one, especially if you still have people around you who are fervent believers who still see Jesus behind every rock.

The following 2 users Like Marmalade's post:2 users Like Marmalade's postmorondog (18-01-2013), Full Circle (23-01-2013)

Prayer was never something I enjoyed even when I was in the faith, I found it much more appealing to do something, Whenever I did pray, i just felt like I was talking to myself, Eventually I figured out that I was.