Category: parentingthoughts

It was a busy month of April for us. Renovation started for our new place and we’ve been scampering around the SG looking for the necessary (and some not so necessary) parts of our new home. Hence, the lack of updates. Sam’s growing up pretty quickly, he’s now 5 months old. He can flip*, but […]

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It was a busy month of April for us. Renovation started for our new place and we’ve been scampering around the SG looking for the necessary (and some not so necessary) parts of our new home. Hence, the lack of updates.

Sam’s growing up pretty quickly, he’s now 5 months old. He can flip*, but has yet to flip back around. But hey, no problem, he commands his two hand servants to reset him to his original position.

*NOTE: flip = roll from his back onto his tummy. It does not mean he can do a backflip. I’ll be the first to let you know when he does.

There have been a few knocks and bruises recently. Although we do our best to protect him, we don’t catch all his falls – he recently face-planted a toy (that was innocently minding its’ own business) in the church creche. This led to loud wailing, and later on giving way to some whimpering, mainly from the shock of the impact rather than pain that he probably experienced – we think we know, because he was laughing 5 seconds after his immunisation jab.

Mugshot of toy in question:

We are starting to feel like we cannot protect him forever. Currently it’s physical protection, but as he grows, he will face greater challenges in life that we may not be able to do anything about. Even now, he has already been a subject of comparison with his peers – unnecessary and unhealthy at this age.

As parents, we hope to equip him well to face these challenges. And on our part learn to let go at the appropriate time(s). Probably easier said than done. We will do our best when the time comes.

Three months of adulting has really changed our lives. we are now, officially, boring adults with a rigid routine. We do the same things at the same time every. single. day. We are no fun at all, we reject invitations for meet ups on purpose, have no sense of spontaneity, and spoil the party by leaving early.

Speaking about early, adulting has made us sleep and wake early. 545am (5am for Vanessa) early actually. to send Sam to grandma’s for the day. while we both head back to work. We also end work earlier to pick him up from grandma’s, then it’s time to head home to settle in for the night. bedtime? 1045pm. wow. so adult.

even during lunch time, adulting behaviour is observed. after buying some stuff during lunch time.

colleague enjoying bubble tea: “hey what did you buy?”

me: “oh no nothing really, just adult things…milk and bread”

colleague: haha! -_-“

Sometimes even a grocery run has to be done during lunchtime.

Adulting also means transiting back to work after maternity leave. It means you miss family a (WHOLE) lot more during the day, and go to great lengths to discreetly extract baby food at the office. And going overseas for a 5 day work trip is a whole lot more than just being away from home. It means missing out on 5 days of watching Sam grow up.

Adulting interrupts this blog post to run a load of laundry… and i’m back…

Our adulting has meant that Sam is allowed to grow up in the best environment as we can provide. He has started sleeping for 6h stretches at night (YAY!), is suddenly much more curious about his surroundings, and acknowledges familiar faces with varied coos.

We are thankful to be able to adult, to adjust to adulting, because the real adults in our lives (our parents) have provided us with a great model to build on, and have offered fantastic support in this phase of our lives.

It’s been 77 days of priceless learning, un-learning and re-learning. With all that learning, let’s go through some idioms today:

Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater

Yes, we have come to learn that this is really good advice. It is also really hard to send a baby flying out of the tub (made of metal in times past), water and all. Well, unless you are really strong, we’re not sure how this is possible. The poor fella that first did it, or was the victim of it…

Crying over spilt milk

This has happened to us on a number of occasions. especially when the bottle, full of expressed milk, decides to come loose on a whim, ponding its contents on the floor.

1) we have to clean the mess up, 2) it was hard work producing all that milk, 3) the baby really is crying while we scramble to warm up the milk in the fridge.

crying over spilt milk – justified.

Like taking candy from a baby

Well firstly, babies don’t eat candy nor should they be holding on to any (choking hazard). Not advisable to give your baby solids too soon either. Secondly, if you’re a parent trying to take something (like candy) from a baby, it might not be that easy, given how hard it is to pry open their fingers.

Be left holding the baby

ohhh wow, this is a tough one. Holding the baby is enjoyable on most accounts, except…

(a) when he is screaming his head off wanting milk

(b) he is dripping with vomit

(c) is dripping with pee

(d) and ewwww… dripping with poo

at which time you will quickly put the baby down. We wonder what happened to the first person that experienced this – must have felt an awful sense abandonment.

Sleep like a baby

This is the pinnacle of sleep for both parents and child. How a baby gets to this state is irrelevant once if the baby is in this state.

I have to keep reminding myself that growing a baby is a marathon not a sprint. Currently it’s 7 weeks into his life here on earth. We are starting to feel stretched. With the late nights and the house work all adding up.

It’s the little bits that get you. A little washing here, some laundry there.

(Meme Credit: Emelyne yiyi)

But there are times when you feel really proud that you’ve done it well. For instance, burping him…

or surviving a trip out of the house!

We’ve realised that he is growing up a bit too quickly. We’ve had to chuck a few cool rompers that don’t fit anymore, and introduce new ones. Like this one taken with his cousin. Sam’s pants don’t fit anymore 😦

I know this is a little early, but I’m also stocking up on some dad jokes, compiled for future groans and eye rolls.

When the children want pets next time: “Pets are animals that humans did not find delicious”

Animal sounds: “to neigh or not to neigh, that’s equestrian”

At a Japanese Restaurant: “Japanese chef always have something to shoyu”

At the ZOO!: “I went to a zoo once, that only had a dog in it. It was a shitsu.”

Teachable moment about friends: “Friendship is like wetting yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.”

Lessons from punishments: “if you are asked to stand outside, it means you are always outstanding.”

Indigestion from eating too much? “if you eat too much wanton mee, you will be too heavy.”

Good to throw this in when discussing body issues: “Why have abs when you can have kebabs?”

It’s been hard to put Sam to sleep recently. Some nights we struggle to put him to bed from dinner time at 7, till close to midnight. Our routine goes something like: cry, pick up, rock till sleepy, put down, cry, repeat. some cycles are interspersed with milk bottle, and / or a diaper refreshment exercise.

On really rare occasions (i write this in hope), it may involve a full body wipe down or bath (details have been left out to protect our younger readers).

Most nights, our house becomes the night safari. This is where we, the exhibits, perform musicals, lion dance routines, and some rhythmic gymnastics (floor exercises to be exact) in the dark.

but still…the wide eyed creature keeps staring at you in the dark, complete with dilated pupils and untiring eyelids.

We’d like to believe that we have developed enhanced low light visual acuity, to see where we are going in a completely dark environment. Actually we found something that helps when moving from a bright living room to a dark bedroom: using red light (much like how red light is used in submarines or air traffic control rooms at night). It helps our eyes adjust quicker to the low light conditions, and allows us to read the manual that comes with the baby (hah!). More on the Purkinje Effect here!

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, a little cough or the closing of doors startles him awake.

I was washing bottles (the 9649792863 bottles needed to keep Sam alive) the other day when i came to the realisation that my hands were getting rougher and more seasoned. Perhaps it was because i hardly had to help with the dishes all these years, mostly done by my parents.

It is one thing to know (in your head) that parents sacrifice (not just doing the dishes) so much for their children, but totally another to experience and internalise this in your proverbial heart.

Standing there, i think i experienced a ‘Circle of Life’ moment.

Some part of me felt proud of that I / We will be able to provide for this child. While another part of me felt grateful for our parents that taught us enough to provide for this child.

We may not be the lions or the wildebeests in the Serengeti running in circles, but for us the circle of washing, cleaning, packing, folding, cooking, feeding, teaching, nurturing… goes on.

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. – 1 Corinthians 13:1-8