Posted tagged ‘edward’s parade’

Well, it’s not exactly live, but it was when I wrote it. So deal with it.

6:44 We’ve been inside for about half an hour and I’m just bodying people left and right, with no regard for safety or decency. There is an aura of despair that pervades this space and seeps through our pores and lives in our veins. There is a man in a grey suit talking all sorts of crazy jive; he’s the hypeman, and I guess it’s his responsibility to keep us entertained before the U2 get here. He asks where people are from and when someone says Sweden, he says that we can all expect massages after the show. I find it repulsive that he would traffic in such baseless stereotypes just for a laugh (which laugh, it should be noted, he did not receive). At first people were accepting of this grey suit man, but the good will evaporated somewhat quickly. It may have been that people were accepting of him when he was joking about their still being drunk and not having gone to sleep the previous night. Basically, when grey suit man stopped talking about the drunkenness of the students, he lost them.

7:00 The hosts of Good Morning America show their faces. Robin Roberts looking good. Sam Champion keeps the crowd wanting more. Savvy move. It’s worth noting, that although I’ve never seen GMA, I knew the hosts’ names, and I was really confused. I was expecting someone else to be there. And a few others, too

Talk about lame. Who would wake up at 5:00 a.m. just to eat some lame-o oatmeal and mush and then go to the lame-o grassy quadrangle to sit around in the lame-o cold for hours and watch some lame-o Irishmen sing about boots? I lay even money that Edward’s Parade is a ghost town tomorrow morning. Ghost Town. And not the awesome type of ghost town. The lame-o, boring type of ghost town. Oh, well. I’ll be sitting pretty with my paper stacked high, with the ladies thinking all about the pie in the sky.