If you want to talk about a Human Workplace, you have to talk about sticky human topics, and if we’re going to talk about sticky human topics, we have to talk about sex at work. I was a corporate HR VP for ten million years, and at this point I could write a book on the topic of people getting busy in the non-professional sense, even in the most professional settings.

When I became an HR person in 1984, the first thing I asked my boss was “Is there a set of guidelines for dealing with the hard stuff?” “You got me,” he said. My boss was VP of Operations. “I’m sure you can call the local employers’ council and get what you need. That’s what we pay our dues for, right?”

I called the employer’s council and asked them the same question. They said, “For sure! We will send you everything we’ve got on compensation, benefits, HR policies and legal compliance.” I waited eagerly for the materials to come – by snail mail, of course, in those days. When I received the package, I opened it with excitement, and was dismayed. When I asked about the hard stuff, I didn’t mean salary grades and overtime hours and the travel reimbursement cost per mile. I meant the squishy, sticky people stuff. Of course, the materials from the employers’ council were silent on those things.

One of the ‘hard stuff’ topics I would have loved to have been schooled in back in 1984 was the topic of sex and romance at work. Within a month of getting that first HR job, I was writing written warnings for two sample-room employees, both in their early twenties like me, who took time away from their sample-sorting duties to get it on in the supply closet. I didn’t see the allure of supply closet sex myself, but I didn’t think my role was to judge. Those two co-workers were the only people I’ve ever given written warnings to for the crime of at-work sexual activity. In the other dozen or two dozen cases of in-office sex I’ve had to deal with, the miscreants got fired pretty much on the spot.

We know that work is a place where people bring their emotions, their insecurities and every other complicated feeling they might be experiencing. It shouldn’t really surprise us that people get crushes at work, and sometimes act on their feelings, however ill-advised those actions might be. I fell in like and then in love with Michael at work, not long after the supply-room sex incident I just mentioned. We are married with five kids, twenty years later, so there must be more to workplace attraction than just a romp in the supply room, at least for some people.

About once a month I hear from a distressed HR chief who’s dealing with some kind of amorous shenanigans on or involving his or her executive team, yet I’ve never seen a handbook, policy or leadership memo on the topic. Why not?

One grisly day in 1996, I had to fire two security guards who had been caught by their supervisor getting busy in the security office. One of them, a young woman, was supposed to be in the security office, monitoring a bank of video screens. The young man caught with her was supposed to be at his post in a different building, five miles away, yet when the supervisor opened the door, there both of them were. The supervisor escorted the pair to my office and explained the situation. I couldn’t do more than stare at him, for at least forty-five seconds. Where in the HR certification process does one learn how to handle that extra-sticky situation gracefully?

I sighed, thanked the supervisor, and asked the two sweethearts to sit down. “Okay, you guys,” I said, “I hope you know that I like you both and I think you are awesome. This is a short meeting, because unfortunately both of you need to get different jobs. It’s pretty cut and dried – away from your post, Roger, and Sally, as you know you’re supposed to be alone in the security office, monitoring the video.”

Sally spoke up. “I swear to you, Liz,” she said, “my eyes never left the monitors.”

My heart went out to the young man. Geez Louise, honey, I thought, you’ve got to add insult to injury? The poor kid is already fired. Do you have to make it worse, suggesting that his most ardent passion couldn’t get your eyes off the blinking video screen? “Either way,” I continued, “I’m sorry to say it, but this is your last day. I know you’re both talented, you’re going to do fine, and I wish you all the best.” I gave them their paperwork and that was that.

Sometimes, in certain situations and at certain points in life, biology takes over and a security-office makeout session might even be worth losing a job over. Corporations will go on, and I have a feeling the human race will continue to replicate itself, in the security room or wherever. I just wish we could expand the conversation to acknowledge that the two worlds we inhabit – the blue-and-grey, boxed-up, policy-and-rule-driven business world and the messy, sticky, juicy, funny and random human world – really aren’t as distant as we pretend they are.

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Liz Ryan is a former Fortune 500 HR executive and the CEO of Human Workplace, an online community and consulting firm focused on reinventing work and career education. She is working with the Denver Post to bring the best expert advice on work place issues and tips to improve your career. Note: Liz Ryan was selected for her expertise, but her opinions are solely her own. We are not endorsing or advocating her business.