Jujuy Lunfardo Dictionary

Today was the last day that the Holland girls were going to be in Jujuy. It was a sad, slow and expensive day. I had class in the morning and learned all about how to ask someone how fat they are, how much weight they were going to lose and how to ask someone to guess my age (an appropriate phrase to learn since everyone here thinks I look 17 years old).
After class I worked for a bit in Bonafide and then ate empanadas for lunch with the Holland girls in their apartment. I went home to take a mini siesta and then I showered and met them again for chocolate cake in Bonafide at 5pm (yes, I am a loser and went to the same place twice in one day). I spent 20 pesos in there on cake and grapefruit juice (about $6 dollars), then I went and bought myself a wireless router for the house. It was only 239 pesos ($70 dollars).
I headed to Zorba to meet the girls again for dinner. Zorba has delicious food but it is one of the most expensive places to eat in Jujuy. We waited for almost 30-40 minutes while they prepared a brand new menu. I don’t understand why they would wait until the middle of dinner to prepare new menus. Seems a little silly. We ordered a bottle of Malbec wine (mmmm yummy) and I ate the shit out of some bread and delicious butter. All of the starters, entrees and desserts were all around 30 pesos ($9-10 dollars). This isn’t that bad for a really delicious meal but it is way more than I am used to spending on a meal. (I ended up spending 40 pesos so my entire meal was only $11 dollars. Ok, I can’t complain. We ended up staying at dinner from 9pm – 12:30am. My ass had fallen asleep from lack of movement. I taught the girls how to say some more American slang and phrases (some specialized by me) before they headed back to their homeland. I taught them about man boobs, specifically banana boobs. I taught them the word camel toe and told them that it can apply to both men and women. I taught them T.H.O. and other various vulgar descriptions of the body. I told them all about my disgusting halloween costumes from the past few years. They were in awe. We all walked back to their apartment and said our final farewells. They promised to return in August or sooner if they could. Andrea wants to live here again and Hanneke wants to visit. I want to visit them at some point and go to Amsterdam with them. Andrea said she has a “pot cafe” right next to her house where I can buy “space cake”. Um, I’m totally there. I love the fact that we all met randomly in a cafe in Jujuy and then became such very good friends. I always make such good friends in the most random scenarios. It’s an added bonus that most of them are international friends, too.
When I got back to my house I walked into my room and immediately smelled shit. I didn’t remember leaving my room smelling this way and I definitely didn’t remember farting as I walked into my room. I flipped on the light to find 2 tiny piles of bright pink poop. The cat had shit some psychadelic caca on my rug. just…fantastic. I went upstairs and grabbed a roll of paper towels and the only cleaner I could find, kitchen degreaser. After I cleaned it up it still smelled raunchy so I texted Laila to see if there was any carpet cleaner. No response yet and it is 2:24am. She is not home…I wonder where she could be? I guess I’ll have to suffer through a night of smelly shit and hope that tomorrow she’ll help remedy the situation.