golly! what's going on? what is this? could it be ..... demonic possession? am i channelling some ancient and wise figure?

well ..... i was .... ahem ..... saying that i'd been wrong when i predicted the exoneration of ken "kenny boy hey george here's my private jet why don't you take some more money for your corrupt fucking party and cut me all kinds of slack 'n' deals so i can assfuck california and just about everybody else" lay and jeffrey "gosh, it sure was goin' good the last time i looked "skilling in the enron and HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

and did you hear me screaming this morning? when i heard the news? that ken lay and jeff skilling had been found guilty?

there's one other thing i'd like to see: i'd like to see an interview with dick cheney, and i know it wouldn't be on fox, because all the functionaries and slobbering heads have his dick so far down their throats the shrivelled lopsided tip is sticking out their assholes, and they find it difficult to articulate, let alone ask any pointed or trenchant questions ..... it'd go like this:

cheney ..... well, i think we're really doing very well in iraq, and i have evidence that the insurrection is winding down and that we're stabilizing the region and 9/11 and freedom and democracy and 9/11 and terrorists and 9/11 and yada yada yada yada yada and the liberals hate our freedoms and yada yada yada yada yada yada yada ....

interviewer: ..... well, sir, with all due respect, you stated unequivocally that you knew where weapons of mass destruction were, and the only ones that have been found are the ones that the united states has used against a civilian population ..... you've maintained that saddam hussein was involved in 9/11 when everyone knows that to be a complete falshood ...... so .... my question to you, sir, is ..... why should we believe you now?

cheney, curling his lip even further ..... fuck you, asshole .... i stand by what i say .... we're doing very well and show all signs of emerging triumphant for the forces of freedom ....

interviewer ...... well, mr. vice-president, you're the man who shot an aged companion, wearing a bright orange vest, in the face, at a range of less than ten feet .... you're a man who mistook an eighty-year-old, dressed in orange dayglo, for a small bird ..... we're told that there were between five to five hundred pellets in him ..... five to five hundred? can no one count? is this enron accounting? i can see no reason we should trust a man with such confounded and untrustworthy perceptions, let alone who thinks "five to five hundred" a good statistical spread ....... i surmise, mr. vice-president, that there's more than a little bit of elmer fudd in you ...... i must ask you sir, did you think saddam hussein was a wascally wabbit? we know that carrots, like oil, come out of the ground .....

etc., etc., etc., etc .............................

next: dr. pete calms down

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PETER KAUKONEN, San Francisco Bay Area guitarist, has played, toured, and recorded with Black Kangaroo, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, and Johnny Winter.