Support for the home front

All about the family: Family Assistance Center specialist Mae Lizama, left, along with coordinator Dee Concepcion, view a photo of Spc. Josh Delgado's daughter on his smart phone after assisting him at the Guam National Guard Readiness Center in Barrigada on Jan. 15. Delgado will be deployed for a year, away from his 18-month-old daughter Avah, and fiance Nicole Cruz, who is also in the Guard but not deploying, he said.

When you're deploying families, it's not just that soldier who's getting on a plane," said Chaplain Richard Kelley, the state chaplain for the Guam National Guard's soldiers and airmen.

Families, as much as the men and women in the service, are a part of the deployment process and they, too, must remain resilient.

On average, National Guardsmen on Guam have 3.5 dependents in their homes, according to Family Support Services Officer Major Jesse Pendon. He estimates that 2,100 family members of the deployed will need their support.

Pendon said the National Guard has been implementing family support programs nationwide since 2002. Over time, the focus of the programs shifted toward preventing stress as opposed to solving problems after they've occurred.

The Guard now has so many support programs that families in need may feel overwhelmed. The task of navigating through the volume of available resources may add to the anxiety they may be experiencing.

"When loved ones are in harm's way, that's all you think about," said the chaplain.

Connecting with the Family Assistance Center in Barrigada is the first place all families should visit as they prepare. The center is their main point of contact and will provide them with the appropriate information for their unique case.

At the center, families can attend training about each stage of deployment. The training also provides insight into challenges they may experience in the absence of their loved one.

Pendon gave examples of spouses who learned household management skills in the absence of the partner who filled that role.

He also gave the example of individuals returning home from combat dealing with the readjustment to civilian life.

Soldiers work long hours in unfamiliar places, operating on adrenaline, at times experiencing trauma while deployed.

Families will be faced with not only keeping their homes together while their spouses are away, they will need to understand the needs of their returning loved one.

A great deal of resources are put into training, and the community of individuals with similar lives attending these meetings is also a valuable resource.

For the first-time deployed, hearing stories from experienced soldiers will help them and their families prepare for challenges.

Connecting with each other is part of what Pendon calls the "five pillars of resiliency" soldiers and their families need. The pillars consist of physical, spiritual, social, emotional and family health.

When one of these pillars is sapped, which often occurs for soldiers returning from combat, the strength of the other pillars will keep the soldier afloat.

Stress is different for families, but resilience is equally important for them.

"We want to make sure no one's left behind," Kelley said.

"You can't change what you can't change," Pendon said. Families are dealing with the harsh reality that their parents, cousins, siblings and grandchildren are deploying.

What can be changed are the ways individuals act, he said.

Resilience, said Pendon, is a comprehensive approach to maintaining the fitness, energy and understanding one needs to cope with everyday life and major pitfalls.

The center, and all the services available, provide Guardsmen and their families with tools to remain resilient.