A twenty-something French girl in America. Advice on love, life, dating, money and more.

Tag: advice

“My sugar daddy is not attractive, but he’s willing to give me a generous amount of money. What should I do?” It was also a common Q&A Wednesday question when I used to still do those for my blog. Unfortunately, Q&A Wednesday posts weren’t very searchable and questions I’d answered were still asked. I think this deserves a blog post anyway, as it’s such a strong question.

Before you read, remember Q&A Wednesday is coming up! So far I have but two questions. If I don’t get at least 10, I’ll be holding off Q&A until next week – so ask away!

A lot of women find that when you come into the Sugar bowl, a married man comes along with the territory. Married sugar daddies are not uncommon, and sometimes preferred in the SB community. I’m willing to bet that 50% of all sugar daddies are married or attached in some way to a significant other…. Many women though don’t know how to feel when it comes to married sugar daddies. Should they or shouldn’t they? I’m not going to try and sway you one way or the other, as I’m sure most of you know my feelings about being with married sugar daddies (or at least, if you’ve been reading for awhile) you’re also free to give your opinion in the poll below! but here are some things to consider when dealing with a married sugar daddy.

Your married sugar daddy will always have to “fit you in” to his schedule meaning no spontaneity. Schedules can easily change also. Your plans for 5pm Wednesday can change to next week on Wednesday morning, or maybe even a couple of hours before your arranged meeting. Why? Because married sugar daddies have priorities, and you’re behind his family on that list whether you like it or mot. Maybe if you’re a person who likes planning and not being surprised, then this may be good for you. For others with hectic schedules and lives, not so much.

Your married sugar daddy will possibly not see you much at all. This is great for some, but for others who want to go on trips and take nice vacations, you’d be lucky!

your married sugar daddy will not want to hear about your life. Look ladies, sometimes you will find the married sugar daddy who does want to hear about your day, and what you’ve been up too. But they get this from their wives at home regardless. They’re not looking for a second wife. They’re looking for a young lady to enjoy. Maybe if you’re not wanting anything too special, this would be good for you, but I personally feel that it’s harder to converse with someone when you’re trying to watch what slips and what doesn’t.

Your married sugar daddy will have to be very careful at all times. He doesn’t want to get caught with you, and even if his wife is aware of his SD status, she more than likely doesn’t want to know about it. Being secretive and low key is essential. Being sneaky, especially if you live close to your SD, and being careful is paramount. This may mean that your sugar daddy will have to cancel on you, have to leave last minute, will not respond to texts or calls right away (or even allow you to text or call. Being careful not to leave any trace of you is vital. If you like being sneaky and playing games, then great. If you don’t like having to look over your shoulder, not so great.

Your married sugar daddy will sometimes take calls, show pictures or speak about his wife, children and home life from time to time. If you don’t like being the center of attention, it’s not for you.

Your married sugar daddy will never leave his wife for you. I’ve seen a friend in a position where she fell in love her with married SD. It was a horrible situation and it ended badly. Usually there is little room for growth of a relationship with a married sugar daddy, but, if it comes too it, you must be willing to say goodbye too him.

Your married sugar daddy will always put you last. Like I said with the first point. You’re not number one too him. Family means more. I’ve read a handful of SB blogs where the married man would drop the woman because somethings came up at home. Either his wife found out, or something family related came up and they decided they couldn’t afford you anymore.

A married sugar daddy may have higher standards for a sugar baby. If he’s risking his marriage for you, then you have to be something special. You have to keep it fresh, keep it burning and keep it exciting. A married SD will not just pick up anybody he finds. The extra pressure of being so “special” can be hard for some girls.

Some Sugar Babies make their own personal choice to either be with married men without the sex, or not be with married men at all. Others prefer being with married men. It’s a personal choice, but something to think hard about. His wife will always be there and there is nothing you can do to make it go away. If the pressure and guilt it too much, then let it go and find someone else.

Anyway, these are just a few of my opinions about married sugar daddies. If you’d like to share your own opinion, please feel free to comment below!

I honestly believe that being a confident woman is a big part of the SB lifestyle because not many men want a woman who constantly puts herself down and feels insecure. Sure, I have my faults, but I the things I cannot change, I do not dwell on. For example… I have big feet. They’re weird and wide and I wish they were much smaller and petite, I’m also not happy with my oily skin and dark hair (which you can definitely see when I get leg stubble growing back) These are things I cannot immediately change though, so I deal with them and focus on the things I love about myself.

I have really healthy hair because I take great care of it and don’t use commercial stuff

I genuinely care about people, which is why I volunteer at homeless shelters

I’m smart. I speak 3 languages fluently and I’m planning to be a lawyer

I have dimples on my back.

The fact is, I try not to put myself down. The secret to being confident is acting the part. Do you feel like you’re too fat, or too ugly to ever find a good sugar daddy? Ditch that mentality asap, because you could end up attracting the wrong kind of men who will take advantage of your low self esteem. Instead, focus on the things you like about yourself. Are you a good painter? Are you a nice person? Do you have attractive eyes? If you can’t think of anything, ask a friend what they like about you. My friends always say I’m fun, gorgeous, I make time for them, I’m energetic and funny, and give good advice. I don’t agree with all of that, but I don’t argue with her. I thank her, and I’m happy that someone thinks that about me.

If you’re more focused on your personality, and you don’t like who you are as a person, figure out what you don’t like specifically. For example, I used to be really judgmental. I’d always make assumptions about peoples lives, and what they were like, even if I had never met them. I judged them based of ridiculous things like the clothes they wore, to how they looked at me. It was so silly and immature. When I was sixteen, I finally asked myself why I did it and what I didn’t like about myself that was causing me to be like this. I finally concluded I was so into being accepted by people at school, that I felt the need to judge others. I wanted to feel better about myself in the long run. Thankfully, five years later I’m over that. So what if you have pink hair, one eye, and no teeth? You could still be a gorgeous person on the inside. Who am I to judge?

Make changes to your life. Positive and uplifting changes. Working out is great for your body, eat well but still treat yourself, buy some of those fuzzy socks for no reason other than to have soft feet, take your dog for a walk so you can make him happy, buy more plants to keep your home feeling more earthy, pray to your god/meditate, keep a clean house so your space and mind feels less cluttered, talk to old friends, and write letters to the people who have hurt you and forgive them. The last one is a really challenging step. Don’t always send the letter. Just write it and burn it. A few months a go I wrote a few letters to the people who had hurt me the most, and at the end put “I forgive you”. I cried, Ripped it up Then burned it.

(Tip: If you put Vaseline on your feet and put socks on overnight, they’ll be so soft in the morning!)

In the upcoming weeks, I’ll be posting about positive changes you can make in your life, and positive changes to make in your SD/SB relationships. So keep posted, and stay gorgeous!

“Elsy, can you help me? I’ve been financially dependent on my sugar daddy for awhile now and he’s starting to be extremely controlling. I feel like I’m begging for each cent I get and I’m so tired of it. I know you’re busy and have other things to post but pls help me.”

For some woman, being financially dependent is inevitable. SB’s end up with debt, or maybe they lose their jobs and have nothing else to support themselves. It’s a horrible situation to be in, and trust me, I’ve been there too. You feel dependent and alone, scared and trapped. Maybe your Sugar Daddy isn’t the best of guys, and you’ve been wanting to get out of the situation for a long time. What are you going to do now?

Again, I’ve been in the same situation. Living in Manhattan with school books, bills, an apartment that I could barely afford and I had just lost my job, I felt like I was drowning. At that time, Objection was my only Sugar Daddy and my allowance was a lot lower… I was extremely dependent on him for survival. I was too scared to turn to my parents for help in fear they would send me back home to Paris, and my search for a job was yielding nothing.

What was I to do? How did I even start the process of being financially independent?

Hello gorgeous ladies. Up very early this Monday thanks to Objection having to go home to get ready for work. Starting to feel a bit better, but still no work. I’ll probably be better by tomorrow.

You’re revamping your SA profile, and you’re wanting to attract attractive, funny and wealthy men. Sure, a few have messaged you, but after you’ve replied, they seem to drop off the radar. Maybe you’ve even gone on a couple of dates, but after the date, they’re no longer interested. You’re starting to wonder what you’re doing wrong after the third time of being turned down. Here are five simple ways (each) to boost your chances of landing a SD with some Sugar Baby etiquette tips!:

You’ve seen a fabulous dress that’s in your size, in a gorgeous color, and on sale. In fact, you’ve seen this in a magazine before, and you remember how great it looked on the 5’7 woman with long brown hair. You decide to try it on and look at yourself in the mirror.

It doesn’t look so great on you.

Although the purple looked good on her, you start to feel that purple on a short bleach blond haired and pale skinned girl looks pretty dull.

Instead, you go for the LBD (little black dress) that you saw her wearing. You try it on, and it fits and looks great on you! However, you remembered in the picture of the brown haired girl, she wore no accessories. Her hourglass curves made up for all of it. Your pencil shaped body needs more though. You need to accessorize.

It’s often times hard to say what will work for clothing, and what will not. How an outfit looks can depend on anything from hair color to the size of your breasts. But here I will try and guide you on some decent looks to shop for when meeting up with your pot, and more importantly affordable prices for the first time SB. As Ashley mentioned, a lot of girls end up looking extremely trashy instead of classy. Maybe they get nervous, or they’re not fashion inclined, but hopefully these tips will help future and current SB’s!

Do you know what to wear when you meet your SD? I’ve compiled some “Choose this over that” dresses, shoes, accessories, hairstyles and make up for you. After each dress I will list a cheaper alternative less than $50

A lot of people have a lot of different opinions about SD/SB relationships and their take on what it is. I had recently remembered an episode of Dr. Phil where he had talked about SD/SB relationships, and essentially called the women there “high class hookers” he has a poll on his website, which I took to see the results:

RESULTS – Sugar Babies/Sugar Daddies

1) Do you think being a sugar baby is prostitution?

49%

Yes

51%

No

2) If you could be a sugar baby and nobody would ever know, would you?

55%

Yes

45%

No

3) Do you think it’s OK to be a sugar baby if you are using the money to pay bills, rather than afford luxuries?

56%

Yes

44%

No

4) If someone is married, doesn’t work or have kids and are fully supported by their spouse, are they in a sugar relationship?