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Contents

Why can I not get/stay hard?

Not being able to get hard or stay hard can be caused by a number of things. It might be parts of your lifestyle, health-related causes, or a few other situations that get in the way.

You may find that you either:

Can get hard but then you lose your erection before you want to; OR

Can’t get any erection in the first place strong enough to have sex with.

Some causes of erection problems will mean you can’t get hard at all (such as more severe physical problems) and some may mean you can get hard but not consistently (more common for psychological causes).

Lifestyle causes:

Smoking - this can reduce your erection strength.

Drinking - drinking in general will reduce your blood flow and makes it harder to get erections but especially drinking at the time you want to have sex will make your erections less reliable.

Being overweight - being overweight will also affect your blood flow and limit your erection potential.

Cycling - maybe a bit surprising but cycling a lot can affect your erection because of the pressure that’s being applied to the area around your penis.

Drug abuse - like with alcohol, drug abuse can affect your ability to get an erection while high, but also long term because of the negative effects on your body.

Health-related causes:

Some long-term health conditions - having diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, or cerebrovascular disease can increase your chances of not being able to get or stay hard.

Premature ejaculation - if you are ejaculating early in the course of having sex then your erection will naturally go down afterwards.

Psychological causes - if you are feeling stressed, anxious, or depressed this can prevent you getting aroused or block you getting an erection. Also, if you’ve experienced some trauma in the past like early sexual experiences or a bad family life then that might be the root of you not be able to get or keep an erection.

Others:

Existing medication - some medications for other health conditions can have side effects affecting your erections. These include some antidepressants, blood pressure medications, and anti-psychotics.

Getting older - erections become less reliable the older you get and so it may be a result of aging that you see your erections becoming less predictable.

Performance anxiety - if you find your are experiencing anxiety focused around your performance in bed then this can limit your erection potential. This anxiety may also get worse as a result of not being able to get an erection when you want to.

Can medication help?

If you regularly can’t get or stay hard (a condition formally known as erectile dysfunction) then there are medical treatments you can try which are proven to help. A doctor will usually prescribe medications called PDE-5 inhibitors for erectile dysfunction, as long as it’s safe for you to take them. They include:

These medications have around a 60% chance of helping you get or keep an erection if you couldn’t beforehand. They work for a wide range of situations so whatever’s stopping you getting an erection, they could be worth trying.

To order PDE-5 inhibitors like Viagra, you need to get an assessment from a doctor to make sure they’re right for you. You can do this at your local GP surgery or online using an online doctor service.

There are also injections you can get to help you stay or get hard that use a chemical called alprostadil. These injections can be trickier to use but avoid some of the effects that PDE-5 inhibitors have on other parts of your body because alprostadil is injected directly into your penis.

What else can I do to get/stay hard?

There’s a few tips and tricks we can recommend for getting and staying hard. There are also some more extensive solutions you can try.

General tips:

Try to make sure you’re relaxed and aroused - remember that it doesn’t matter if you solve the physical problems behind your erectile dysfunction, if you aren’t feeling aroused then you won’t be able to get the erections you want. Also, stress and tension may make it harder to get erect.

Focus on your partner - a study of heterosexual couples showed that men are happier in relationships when their partner is more satisfied. Try focusing on your partner more and see if this actually improves your erection situation. Studies has shown that during sex, 60% of women most enjoyed foreplay, which doesn’t require an erection anyway.

Try a new location - if you keep finding that the same bedroom gives you the same results then try somewhere new. If you associate the room you normally have sex in with everyday stress, or the stress of previous failed sex attempts, then it might help to go somewhere that will act as a clean slate for your sex life.

Stop trying to force the erection - it’s not possible to give yourself an erection just by trying hard enough, if it were then you wouldn’t be reading this. An erection is known as an ‘unconscious response’, meaning you can’t control it by thinking about it. In fact focusing on your erection too much is more likely to block it, so try instead to focus something else, such as:

Other aspects of the sex you’re having.

Other parts of your body.

Your partner's body.

Don’t give up or blame yourself - you shouldn’t assume that your situation is impossible to improve or that your partner is disappointed in you. Studies show as long as you don’t stop trying to engage your partner sexually, they will still respond positively. If you communicate and stay positive you can work with your partner to get the result you’re looking for.

More solutions:

Lifestyle improvements - lots of healthier lifestyle choices will also benefit your erections. These can include quitting smoking, losing weight, exercising regularly, drinking less, and not using illegal drugs.

Pelvic floor exercises - learning and using this type of exercise can strengthen the muscles responsible for your erections and they improve erections in 40% of men who practice them for 6 months.

Devices like penis pumps - a penis pump is a reliable way to help improve your erections. They work for 90% of men who try them, but contrary to popular belief they don’t change the size of your penis. You could also try penis rings although they aren’t proven to work for getting or staying hard.

Get your current medication checked - if it turns out your erections are being blocked by medication you’re taking then you could see your doctor and they might be able to switch you to something else.

Counselling or therapy - this is always a good idea if you find you can’t get or stay hard. You can talk through your situation with someone who can understand and provide support and advice, but you can also address other things like stress, relationships, or mental health problems.

Is it because of my relationship?

Relationship problems can make it difficult for you to get or stay hard when you’re attempting to have sex with the person you’re in a relationship with. However, if you have this problem and you’re in a relationship that doesn’t mean your relationship is necessarily the reason. There are lots of other reasons you might not be able to get or stay hard (see above).

Whether or not your relationship is stopping you from getting or staying hard, if you’re having relationship problems it’s always a good idea to get them sorted. Likewise, if not being able to get or stay hard is affecting your relationship negatively then it makes even more sense to find a solution.

Communicating about your situation with your partner can be difficult but it’s probably a good place to start. You might also want to consider counselling or therapy to improve your relationship. Remember that changing partners may not solve your problem and it isn’t always the best solution.

Should I try herbal supplements?

There are a few herbal supplements some people believe can help you get and stay hard but they aren’t proven to work. You should always be careful buying herbal supplements advertised to help erections because their are some unsafe products being sold online.

For a better result than using herbal supplements we recommend getting an assessment from a doctor. You could avoid wasting money and get a treatment that is approved for you that is scientifically proven to work for many people.