~ Musings of a gay ex-Mormon father

Be Exceptional

One reason I am uncomfortable with the Mormon influence on my children is the constant drum roll of mediocrity within the culture. Being exceptional within Mormonism means following the rules more than anyone else. Outside Mormonism it means the opposite.

For example, one of my personal pet peeves is the narrow Mormon perspective on what qualifies as sacred music. The policy keeps even international Mormon meetings firmly 19th century North American prairie white. But what if you are not white, not American, or not born more than 20 years ago?

The other day while visiting an ex-Mormon site, I came across a talk by the infamous Mormon leader, Boyd K Packer in which he details the rules or Mormon artistry and musicianship. For those who don’t know, only the organ and piano are really the only approved instruments in typical one dimensional Mormon meetings. This talk attempts to explain the reasoning for what type of music is appropriate:

We are under resistance from some highly trained musicians who insist that they can get as much inspiration from brass instruments or a guitar solo as from a choir. I believe that an organ perhaps could be played at a pep rally in a way to incite great enthusiasm. And I think a brass section could play a hymn in such a way as to be reverent and fitting in a worship service. But if it should happen, it would have to be an exception. We cannot convey a sacred message in an art form that is not appropriate and have anything spiritual happen. But there is a constant attempt to do it.

This is Non-Spiritual music. You can tell by the brass instruments.

Never mind that organs ARE regularly used in stadiums to “incite great enthusiasm.” And never mind that a solo trumpet is regularly used by the military to convey reverence. Did you catch the implication? Exceptions are bad!

I grew up firmly trained to not think of myself as an exception. We don’t try to be an exception and we don’t search for exceptions. Almost every Mormon rule, commandment, policy, behavior and expectation applies quite nicely to pointing everyone towards the highest point of the bell curve.

Anything which draws attention to an individual or causes one to inhabit the fringe of the bell curve is discouraged. This one characteristic is why Mormons tend to not be great artists. You have to make daring and bold choices in art and music. You have to stand out to be great.

For me, the essential problem with Mormon culture is that I’m weird. I’ve always been weird. As a teenager, I was the only white boy I knew in our suburban town with a natural afro. And when you attend church in a building whose central feature is a basketball court but you don’t play basketball very well or even care to play…you stick out even further. I preferred show-tunes over popular radio tunes.

Guess what? They’re all pretty weird people. Look at the list of past recipients and they’re weird too. In fact I’d say that to be exceptional like these artists you have to be a bit weird. You have to think of yourself an an exception.

The exceptionalism you’ll find in Mormonism is within careers and industries where mediocrity and charm is rewarded and admired…places where rule keeping and achievement follows a pattern…such as law, business, insurance, sports, public service. And none of that is all that exceptional in my book.

Look at what it has done to someone already on their way to creative exceptionalism! It made singer David Archuleta think he SHOULD give all that up and serve a mediocre mission like any other 19 year old Mormon boy… I’m not particularly fond of the kid myself but I felt sick for him when I heard the news of what he’d been convinced to do.

My kids are exceptional, creative, musical, funny and weird. I love them all the more for that. I only hope Mormonism doesn’t squelch that part of them like it did in me for so many years.

I want them to stay weird, embrace their weirdness and look for the exceptions in life!

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11 thoughts on “Be Exceptional”

The second definition of cult is, “a relatively small group of people having religious beliefs or practices regarded by others as strange or sinister.” With more than 14 million people worldwide, the religion of the Mormon people is hardly small. There are approximately as many Mormons in the United States as there are Jewish people. The first part of this definition also makes the term “Mormon cult” invalid. The second part of this is that the cult must have beliefs that others consider strange or sinister. This, of course, is a subjective statement that can be applied to any religion—or any person. What seems very normal to one person seems weird or sinister to another. Every religion has aspects others see as weird or sinister—communion, tithing, angels, even belief in a Savior. Many religions have martyrs who chose to die rather than to deny their faith. Non-religious people often find it sinister that religious people are taught this is a worthwhile decision, while religious people find it inspirational. Many social issues accepted as natural to some religions seem weird or sinister to others—issues related to abortion, immigration, or the definition of marriage for instance. This definition is generally useless in terms of defining a cult.

With such an inhospitable environment, its no wonder we get a little touchy…

All the more reason to take exception to the Packer quote (from the same speech, by the way… I hope we can attribute it to his being off his feed that day, and not that he is a frustrated artist wannabe.) “Artists are temperamental, more temper than mental.” Zing! There you go, just score one off us beleaguered artists… ba-dum-bum.

Making little things out of clay on a weekend doesn’t make you an artist Packer,
any more than quoting scriptures in church makes me a general authority.

Reminds me of an event I should blog about…when my children were being taken from me and I was told I was defensive and paranoid… uh, if someone is on the offensive towards you isn’t a defensive posture appropriate?

Thank you! This one really spoke to me. In the past, there were some Mormons who managed to be exceptional (I mean in a good way), but as the Church has gotten more and more controlling, you never see that anymore. You see talented people, but they aren’t encouraged to be exceptional unless they can be the exception.
Anyway, Thanks, Happy New Year, and keep up the good writing.

I’ve read a lot of ridiculous things, but Boyd K. Packer’s talk on the arts is high on the list. I think it is so presumptuous to assume that something can’t be spiritually uplifting or inspiring just because it doesn’t fit a narrow definition. I’ve always had a problem with the Church’s stance on music and art. So much of it comes off as bland and uninteresting, and more importantly, uninspiring. The problem is that often the music and art I see coming out of Mormon-dom doesn’t inpire me or make me feel closer to my Heavenly Father, and if that is indeed the goal, then there is failure, whether it be my own tastes and biases or be it the Church’s definition of what is inpiring or worshipful. And I can cite many examples in my life and in the lives of others where music or art or drama that might be considered “inappropriate” drew them closer to the Lord, and I don’t see how that can be a bad thing. I even know someone who was brought closer to God because of Jesus Christ Superstar (an example Packer uses as inappropriate). It’s not my cup of tea, but for Packer to assume that the Lord can’t reach someone through a guitar or a brass instrument or a rock and roll song is ludicrous to me. I am convinced the Lord has answered my personal prayers through music and art forms that would likely be regarded as “inappropriate” by Packer or other church leaders. I’ve heard pieces in church meetings that might be considered “inappropriate,” but felt the spirit stronger than other times. I just find it so bizarre the narrow definition that the Church (and not the Lord, I believe) has imposed.