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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Muddy Puddles

Now that my schedule has slowed a bit, I've been thinking about what I want to do with my time. Of course, that kind of thought process calls for a list. Do you really think I make any sort of decisions without listing and overly processing every piece of the process? Have you only just met me? If so...Hi, I'm Angie and I'm an obsessive list-maker and manic thought-dissector. Nice to meet you.

Anyway, I feel inspired lately to focus on creative projects, but as soon as I start to think about what I'd like to create, I become overwhelmed. Here's why...I find I have a difficult time with hooking on to one thing at a time. I want to do everything at once and then I get frazzled and then it's rare that a single project is seen though to completion (please see my previous post where I babble about dabbling).

So I have to break it down (said like the rapper that I am) into manageable portions, parcels, and pieces so I don't combust into a creative conflagration. I have to work at the slow-burn, minding the kindling of creativity. To some, this may sound like a simple process, but every day I work at keeping myself from drowning in my own ocean of overwhelming thoughts. Lists help.

I'd like to focus on writing -- maybe some fiction. It's been a while since I've written a short story or any serious poetry and that might be fun. I'd also like to sew some summery whatnots, design some new necklaces, and maybe make a fun mini-movie. See...I want to do all of this today and just thinking about it makes my breathing quicken and my chest tighten. So I think I'll just focus on writing for now. This week I will write a short story and call it good. I won't even think about the summery whatnots until next week.

I'm not even sure about the purpose behind this post, except to process what is going on in my brain and maybe share my inner struggles and how I wade through my often-muddy puddles of thought. I've found that when I add enough clear water to the mud, the puddles aren't so thick and mucky anymore...soon they are pretty transparent and I can see everything underneath them. Clarity.

3 comments:

"So I have to break it down (said like the rapper that I am) into manageable portions, parcels, and pieces so I don't combust into a creative conflagration."

This particular statement evoked the deepest empathy in me...and it was so well said ("conflagration"...masterful!!!). It's my humble opinion that your decision to focus on writing is brilliant. You are far too gifted in that arena to not share it with the world. You probably don't realize how many times reading your blog has lifted me into a better mental place. (I'm still telling people about your "Cat Yoga" post!!!) My logic is such that if it does this for me it must be touching everyone else in the same way. Now THAT is a gift. And, hey, you can run up some new summer dresses/skirts when you get too stiff from sitting in front of the computer...just pop on the mindlessness of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" and sew away! It's all about balance after all. ;;;)))Love,Traceyx0x

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