Archive for August, 2012

Happy upcoming holiday weekend! September 1st is an important anniversary for me. It marks one year ago that I found out I was pregnant for the first time. We had been trying for about 6 years and had really given up hope that we would get pregnant naturally. I was about a month from 34 years old, and we had just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary.

I took a test the night of September 1st that had been sitting in my bathroom cabinet waiting for a missed period for about two years. I had been tired with a sore nipples and just kind of off for a couple of weeks. I really wasn’t tracking my period because it seemed to come and go based on my stress level and everything was always negative. My husband suggested I take the test. So I did even though I didn’t really expect anything to come of it. Imagine my surprise when the positive sign showed up. The line seemed a bit feint to me, so I insisted we go to the drug store for a “fresh” test.

Two fresh tests, with 3 more to follow in the next couple days just to make “sure,” we looked at each other shell shocked and then excited. We’re pregnant! We didn’t wait the 12 weeks. We called our parents right away. It was all just too exciting and surreal to keep to ourselves. I’ve never been happier.

The day I got those first positive tests ranks as my happiest day ever. Yes, NICU grad day is up there, too. But this was before my spotting episodes began. Before scares about low progesterone levels, high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. Before those unbearable seconds waiting for a doppler to locate a heartbeat. This was an unshadowed day full of possibilities, wonder and thankfulness for our blessings.

I thank God for that day. It is one I can look back on and enjoy with no PTSD or medical scares to mar it.

On a Drake medical note, his mouth cyst was diagnosed yesterday as a hemanginoma. His ENT wants to take the mostly wait & see approach, but is going to inject a steroid to inhibit further growth when we have his hernia repaired this fall. I’m thankful his doctors can combine the procedures so we only have to do anesthesia once.

All of Drake’s measurements are on the growth chart for his age! Huzzah baby Drake! Pediatrician says it is awesome that he has gotten on it so soon, and that he continues to follow his own personal growth curve.

He is grasping, putting things in his mouth, rolling over back to front and front to back and doing “mini push ups” on his own when on his belly. Sits well with support. Pediatrician was happy with his motor skills and development which leaves me hopeful for the early intervention assessment coming up at Good Sam in November.

We have an referral to get his mouth cyst looked at with the Children’s Hospital group. The hernia repair surgery should be scheduled soon, as he’s reached the age the surgeon was hoping for with no further issues. His mystery rash is probably the leftover of whatever caused his pinkeye and is a good sign especially since it wasn’t accompanied by fever.

His doctor thinks this is going to be a bad, bad cold/flu season though so there will be lots of rules to follow. Whatever we have to do to keep the little dude’s lungs developing well and healthily is what is going to happen.

The basics: if you or anyone in your household has been sick/has the sniffles please let us know and stay away, lots of handwashing and sanitizer will be required, any adult caring for Drake needs to get this season’s flu shot and a whooping cough booster. We won’t be taking him to church, the store, restaurants, or any large gathering of people (including large family events) where we can’t control exposure. I know everyone wants to cuddle and hold him, but I will be keeping who’s allowed to do this to a minimum as well. There will be plenty of hugs and cuddles saved up for April.

Please respect our rules. They are for our son’s well being, and they are hard on us, too. I don’t think anyone wants to see Drake go back to the hospital for something totally prevantable with precautions.

In the spring, we’ll celebrate making it to the healthy finish line with Drake’s baptism. 🙂

We really, really thank everyone for their love and support. It’s hard to believe 6 months have already passed.

Today we have mystery rash. It is becoming a pattern with Drake that if he has a well visit scheduled something weird is bound to come up.

First it was a swollen down there area before his 4 month. Then he had a random bout of pink eye two weeks ago. And now….mystery rash. No fever though.

This is all from a 30 weeker that I am still keeping mostly isolated. Imagine if I actually had him out in the world. What I really want to know is how long it will be before I stop blaming myself everytime he’s ill. Maybe that’s just a mommy thing not a preemie mommy thing…

Today is my best friend’s birthday. She left us for heaven during Christmas 2008. Leaving behind her two beautiful girls. It was sudden and I miss her so much. Happy 35th birthday, my angel friend. We met at age 15 at band camp. I wish I had her to talk to about this stuff in person. 🙂

My son is a 30 weeker born in February. He spent about 4 hours intubated, 3 days on CPAP, and 2 weeks on nasal cannula. We received one Synagis shot when it was time to come home in late March. His pediatrician helped us file an appeal to try to get him an April and May shot because our area had a late season. We were denied again anyway, so we stayed on lockdown until mid-June.

How to handle the upcoming cold and flu season has been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve been reading stories of other preemie families around the same birth age as my son. I want to have all my questions ready to ask at his 6 month wellness visit this week.

I think I have our plan mapped out. I know my husband will support me. I’m working on a letter for family and friends because I know there will be some resistance there. In the end, I will do what I feel is best for my son. I feel like this fall is especially important because he will be having surgery requiring anesthesia in November.

Last week, Drake had his follow up on his clubfoot at the halfway point of his 23hour wear portion of his treatment. Everything checked out well, and it was such a relief.

Any Ponseti treatment trained specialist is going to tell you that clubfoot treatment is 5% medical/95% parents. You have to be committed to the bracing protocol 100% or your child will relapse and it will be necessary to go through the casting phase all over again. There is always a chance of relapse, but the probability drops drastically if you follow proper bracing protocol.

The best part of my day is watching Drake kick his happy feet in his tub during his bath or smile and coo because his comfortable during his tummy time play. It is NOT easy to put his shoes and bar back on as he fights me with every fiber of his being, wailing at the top of his lungs, with his pouty bottom lip poked out. There have been nights I sobbed about it afterwards. Nights I rocked him to sleep because he’d wake himself up knocking into his crib and wake up screeching in fear.

A 6 month old doesn’t understand why his mother is doing something he hates. He doesn’t know why his feet have to be locked into position 23 hours a day. I explain it to him, and I strap him in because I know that when he is running pain free at 5, 10, 20 years old that will be all I need to erase the memories of making my baby miserable away.

It is HOPE for the FUTURE. That’s what makes it possible to do this everyday.