Say what you want, but the 1990s and early 2000s had the best teen movies. Today, I thought I was appropriate to talk about one of the most iconic teen movies. It’s so iconic that I already thought I reviewed it. I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t yet. Don’t worry, we’ll fix that now. It’s time to review “Cruel Intentions.”

Released in 1999, “Cruel Intentions” stars Ryan Phillippe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, and Selma Blair. It was directed by Roger Kumble. He directed the 2008 Disney Movie “College Road Trip.” He’s proof that not everything you do in life can be a hit. The movie is based on a 1782 french novel called “Les Liaisons dangereuses,” or Dangerous Liasons. There’s also another movie based off the novel but that’s something less iconic.

“Cruel Intentions” follows the step-sibling duo of Sebastian Valmont and Kathryn Merteuil as they manipulate and use people in their high society life during summer vacation. The two scheme up a plan: If Sebastian can sleep with the new headmaster’s virgin daughter, Annette, Kathryn will sleep with him. If he fails to sleep with her, then she will get Sebastian car. The movie follows the two and the chaos that they create in order to get their plan to succeed.

Iconic cast

This movie wasn’t well like on the review circuit when it was first released. While it was a commercial success, the film has gone on to be a cult classic. Just by watching the film, you can tell why because it is perfectly done.

Between the script, the iconic lines, the music, and the acting, “Cruel Intentions” is everything that was right with the 1990s. The cast was all big name, or soon to be big names. It was an all-star cast. I’m going to assume that the reviewers back then respect a film of this caliber. Ryan Phillippe is literally everything in this movie.

It’s also many different ways of messed up. It’s mainly in the relationship between Sebastian and Kathryn. There’s an incestuous tone to it, as you probably could have seen from my summary of it. Weirdly enough, it fits the movie. It’s also messed up how they use everyone. But without it, we wouldn’t have the iconic kiss between Sarah and Selma. It’s still iconic to this day

Most of the movie even aged well. There’s some language that you wouldn’t really hear in this day and age. Mainly because it’s offensive. The themes are your typically teen drama themes but the dark undertones of them make it so much more interesting. Even for a 90s teen movie, it was dark. It’s actually rated R. It uses it to its full advantages and I don’t think they could pull it off any other way.

Verdict

Overall, “Cruel Intentions” is one of my favorite movies of all times. It’s a movie that everyone needs to experience. It’s a cult classic and honestly, it’s underrated. It doesn’t get the credit it deserves. I recommend it to anyone that like teen dramas. It’s the right kind of dark and twisty. “Cruel Intentions” is just an iconic movie that we need to appreciate more.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

Ariana Grande, Miss Butera if you’re nasty, has blessed us with her second song off of her upcoming album “Thank U, Next.” If you thought that “Thank U, Next” was everything then you will be in slightly happy surprise

Put your heart up to the Clouds

“Imagine” is an upbeat and very emotional ballad from Miss Grande. I had a mini PTSD moment at the start of it because I had Pharrell flashbacks due to “Sweetener.” I call the Pharrell tracks on the album “Unsweetened.” But honestly, this song is what I wish would have been on “Sweetener.”

The production is beautifully done and it just so positive. The song makes you feel like you are on a cloud of love and that’s the place you want to be on. The song is about the what ifs. Like what if something didn’t happen and you were with someone you loved dearly. You are in denial. It’s almost like you are “Daydreamin’.” And Ariana even busts out the whistle notes in the song. I’m not going to live. I died in happiness with every time I heard them.

Because of the name and the nature of the song, many are thinking that it’s about her late ex-boyfriend Mac Miller. Mac had a tattoo on his arm of the word “Imagine.” As well as there are call outs to some of his lyrics through the song. Ariana hasn’t confirmed any of this but based off of “Thank U, Next,” this seems like a valid theory.

“Imagine” might not be up to the level that “Thank U, Next” was but it really doesn’t need to be. It’s another look at what to expect with life after “Sweetener.” I do recommend this single because it’s an amazing song. I cannot wait to see what else she will give in this album. I’m also patiently waiting for “Needy” to drop.

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

All I Want For Christmas is a man

Welcome to Ariana Fridays! Every Friday leading up to Christmas, I’ll be review Ariana Grande Christmas catalog. She happens to have two EPs and one single. Nothing brings Christmas cheer like Ariana Grande.

Back in 2014, I reviewed Ariana Grande’s Christmas jingle “Santa Tell Me.” I gave that a 2 candy canes out of 5. I thought it was cute to rate things based on items that have to do with that. I’m glad I no longer do that. I thought it was a good idea to actually re-review what one Ariana Grande fan has called a “holiday bop.” Was I too harsh on the song or was I right along? Welcome to the Pop Project Redux, where I re-review things because I’m out of ideas for content.

Now when I first reviewed “Santa Tell Me,” I’ll be the first to admit that it wasn’t a good review. I spent more time complaining about the fact that Christmas themed song is overly done than actually tell you about the single. It’s not something that I would post today unless it’s for the video of the song.

“Santa Tell Me” was released as a stand-alone Christmas song from Ms. Grande, Miss Butera is you’re nasty, in the US. It was included in Ariana’s Christmas EP “Christmas Kisses” in the land of the rising sun Japan. Click the link under a winking Ariana for that review. Ariana has been weird when it comes to Christmas music. It’s like she wants to release some but yet she doesn’t. I just waiting for the studio version of her cover of “All I Want For Christmas is You.”

The song itself isn’t a bad song. It’s your standard Ariana Grande song. It has a catchy beat. It’s pretty much talking about asking Santa for a man for Christmas but not getting your hopes up in case Santa can’t fit another human down a chimney. She wants a man that care and not like the past men in her life. It’s kind of bland lyrics. Like who ask Santa Claus for a man?

The lyrics hold back the song. If it was a little less cheery, then it would make sense but the tone of the lyrics and the beat doesn’t mes well. The lyrics are deep but the fact that it’s on a Christmas song make them bland. This topic would have been better handled as a non-Christmas song. It would have been able to get deep and the depth it should have gotten.

It sounds like Miss Butera is trying to create something you will listen to all year round but it falls short. It feels like a rushed and like they were just trying to put it out to capitalize and boost sales for “Christmas Kisses.” It is a bop but not a bop like all the other bops she has put out. The video for “Santa Tell Me” does make it 100% better. It doesn’t fit the song lyrically but does it fit the beat and is adorable. It’s pretty much just Ariana and her friends having fun and spreading Christmas cheer around her house.

Verdict

“Santa Tell Me” is an attempt to be a holiday classic but it falls short. Unless you are a hardcore Ariana Grande fan, you will probably enjoy when it comes on but it probably won’t be something you will remember to play every Christmas. I do recommend listening to it at least once or twice. It is a quality listen. I would watch the video while listening to it just for the fact it makes it more enjoyable. It’s an enjoyable song either way but more enjoyable with the visuals.

Also, make sure you listen take a listen to the Japanese version, it’s dirtier. There’s talks of mounting and someone unwrapping her. It’s worth the listen for a dirty Christmas song.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.

Grab your milkshake from Pop’s because it’s about to go down. Welcome to the first edition of Sweetwater Tea. Each week I’ll be breaking what the hell is happening on Riverdale. Since the mid-season just finished, let’s talk about the highlight of season three. Buckle up, I’m in the mood for a little chaos. WARNING: SPOILERS WILL BE AFTER THIS POINT.

Archie is in ‘Orange is the New Black now?’

Yes, this all happened in a matter of eight episodes

I’m apologizing in advance, this season has been a blur. Season Three began with the trial of Archie Andrews and his abs that you can bake cookies on. Archie was found guilty after Hiram Lodge did what he does best and had the new sheriff tampered with the witness. Long story short with the Archie in jail storyline: he escapes and ends up getting acquitted thanks to Veronica and Mrs. McCoy. Oh, Sheriff ends up dead.

Archie ends up running away with Jughead to save all his friends from Hiram’s revenge. Hiram probably just wants to kill him for the amount of sex he is having with his daughter. They go visit jughead’s mother and sister after Archie showing off his glistened abs and letting a stranger hold a long ass razor to his face and shave his nonexistent facial hair off. Turns out that Archie has a bounty on his head thanks to Hiram. It’s also on the heads of anyone that helps him. Ms. Jones calls the 2/3 of DILF squad (FP and Fred Andrews make it up with Tom Keller) to escort their sons on their respective path: Archie is running from his problems and Jughead heads back to Riverdale.

Oh no!The kids are addicted to a RPG

Said no one ever about the Our Lady of Quiet Mercy and Murder

The main arch ends up being that Hiram Lodge is trying to use his Big Dick Energy to take full control of Riverdale. In order to do so, he uses the game Gryphons & Gargoyles. Think of a dark and twisted version of Dungeons and Dragons. The game takes over Riverdale and makes people end up taking a drug produced by at old Southside high called fizzle rocks. The drugs end up making people have seizures and see things. While Hiram and his big dick are the villains of the season, the gang are trying to figure who the hell is the creepy gargoyle king.

The game and the king turns out to be a tool the sisters at Our Lady of Quiet Mercy and Murder use to keep the “bad girls” in line. Apparently, 5 Seconds of Summer didn’t teach them that good girls are bad girls that haven’t been caught. They also a testing ground for Hiram and his fizzle rocks. There was also some character building side plots but for the sake of time, I’ll skip over it. That’s even harder to explain. Caught up? Probably not but it will do. Let’s get into the tea

How stupid can the main four be?

Betty, Veronica, Archie, and Jughead having just been acting like total dumbasses this season. Archie is just too trusting of a person. Like he’s just a set of abs and lacks little common sense. He just lets everyone in on his life and plans when he is on the run. Did his parent teach him not to talk to strangers? Probably not, his parents are Molly Ringwald and Luke Perry. They were teen royalty back in the day.

I volunteer to hose down Archiekins

Veronica is trying to take down and be two steps of her daddykins but yet she keeps telling her parents all about her info she finds out. Like what’s the point of even trying if you are just going to spill the beans. Loose lips sink ships, Ronnie! Then she hasn’t caught on that Reggie wants in her skirt. She’s a single gal now. I fully support and ship Veggie. I’m still hoping for Kerchie to happen. Finger crossed.

Betty and Jughead just need to stop having sex in the dead kid’s bunker. I would ask them if they could have sex in any other place besides there but Lili Reinhart answered that for me on twitter. They are smart of half of the main four but like c’mon guys. You are making me want to be Team Daddykins. In fact, both couples are rabbits. They are having sex like left and right. Do you guys not have anything else do to? As Lili said in her tweet to me “The answer is no.” They all need a good hose down.

Don’t mess with Hiram Lodge

Nothing is out of his control. NOTHING.

After how dumb everyone that isn’t Josie, Kevin, Cheryl, and Toni is, I’ve joined Team Daddykins. Besides the fact that Hiram leaves you slightly turned on and pissed on, he has this entire town under this finger. His wife is the mayor and he has his hands in all the pots. In one episode where it was three separate stories, he was involved in EVERY SINGLE ONE. While it’s all shade business dealings, he has plans and a bunch of backup plans. You can’t make him nervous. Unless you happen to be a ripped red-head sticking it to his daughter every five minutes. He’s either very jealous or just wants Archie for himself. That’s a plot twist for you. But I’m fully supporting him just so he knocks some sense and brains into the main four. Team Daddykins for life!

Riverdale: The Purge

ICONIC QUEEN

The midseason finale ended with Veronica’s mother having the city of Riverdale locked down because Hiram has the governor of whatever state they are in working for him as well. So it’s like the purge. No one can enter and no one can leave. We also know that Cheryl is preparing for war. When the iconic queen, who has gotten the shaft so far, is going war. WE ALL GO TO WAR. Cheryl and her bow are all Riverdale need to save the town.

It looks like the rest of the season is going to be a real barn burner. I just wish that it made more sense but it’s “Riverdale.” Does “Riverdale” ever make sense? I hope you enjoyed the first episode of Sweetwater Tea. It returns when “Riverdale” comes back on January 16th. Until then, I recommend rewatching because you’ll need it. It’s been a confusing season.

Leave your thoughts/tea in the comments below. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for more of that tea.