I'd email this to my mother, who has made some exquisite gaffes in her time...but then I'd have to explain it, which would result in frosty silence and a demand to know "why do you think that's funny?"

For those of you who haven't thought this through;Scott's efforts to avoid offending the chef aren't altruistic. The chef might take offense at the whole table and give everybody a piece of his...well...not exactly his mind.