Local Wildlife Refuge Hosting Open House Viewing For Area Patriots In Event Of A Clinton Win

COW ISLAND, LA – Dig out that Mossy Oak, Bundy Brother-wannabes! A local federally-owned Wildlife Refuge is hosting an open house viewing this coming Saturday November 8th. With polls tightening anyone could win the election, and the Cow Island Bovine Protection Wildlife Refuge is preparing for the possibility of a Clinton win in the most intelligent way possible.

The open house, that will give area patriots the chance to scope out the main buildings, assess the amenities, and ultimately decide if it is deemed worthy of a forceful militia-style take-over, will take place from 10am until 5pm.

Refuge Manager Charles Rove explained that it’ll be for the best on both sides.

“Me and my staff really don’t fancy the prospect of being forced out of our workplace at gunpoint by a group of angry folk aiming to be the next LaVoy Finicum”, Rove said, “So we’re planning ahead and offering them the chance to work this out amicably, as well as allow them to decide whether the building is worth commandeering in the first place. It’s a win-win for everyone.”

“We’ll be sure to showcase the huge pantry space on offer – perfect for filling with snacks and ensuring that they won’t make the same mistake as the Bundy’s. It also has a cool little underground tunnel that leads to an opening a mile away, which will be highly attractable for those looking to make that quick getaway.”

The event is also doubling as a fun day out for all the family.

“Snacks and refreshments will be available all day. Cheap, nasty cases of beer will be on ice, and there’s even fun for the kids as we’ll be opening up our shooting range for them. We’ll be offering ATV rides, and a fun ‘Pin The Bulls-eye On The Clinton’ game will keep them entertained for minutes. It’ll be a great day, I’m sure.”