"I just found a stash of porno magazines in my husbands
car.Im devastated! How could he do this to me?"
Sometimes we discover something about our SO that shakes our view of them to
the core. It might be something in their past theyve hidden from us, or something
they do secretly in the present. When we become aware of it for the first time, it often
sets in motion a swirl of anger, pain, disbelief and panic inside of us.
Although our first reaction may be to confront our partner, issue an
ultimatum, or break up the relationship, it might help us to take a step back, and ask
ourselves "is it really wise for me to try and handle this myself, and try to force
solutions?".
If my SO had a physical disease, proper treatment wouldnt involve
giving them the first medicine that came to mind. It would require a true understanding of
what the problem was, so that solutions would have the best chance of improving their
well-being.
Maybe our relationship can benefit from the same kind of approach. The more
understanding I search for, and the more outside insight I get, the better chances I have
of understanding the "sickness" I believe I see.
Just for Today
Today, if Ive discovered something about my SO that has really shaken
my view of them, Ill take a step back, and avoid rushing into decisions. I
dont have to like what I see, but if I want the best solutions, Ill increase
my chances by reaching out for insight to help increase my understanding of the
"problem" and my reactions to it..

"Go as far as you can see, and when you get there,
you'll see farther." - anonymous