Hard to believe it’s almost two years since Headfuck Monday, isn’t it? But, while we’re a long, long way from such things occurring yet again, today has at least given us cause to suspect that the next twelve months are going to see Dwarf news a-plenty – and with reports coming out from one source before being not-undenied by another, we’re getting those first shivers of excitement as word starts to spread and threaten to overtake us. Let’s stop, then, and recap.

So, first of all, the Daily Mail (yes, we know… we’re sorry) are reporting that Craig Charles has let the felis sapiens out of the bag and “confirmed” that a new series is on the way. The bulk of the article consists of typing out stuff he said on a radio show – “Real Radio”‘s breakfast show, apparently, hosted by two people whose names probably aren’t actually Ditchy and Salty – so let’s apply similar standards of hard-hitting, well-researched journalism by copy-and-pasting it:

“It did really well which was really quite weird because we all thought we were just doing it for a laugh.

“It got more viewers than BBC2 and Channel 4 combined on the night which is really good!

“So they’ve just commissioned another series of Red Dwarf. We’re gonna film at the end of November, December and January.”

Asked whether he thinks Red Dwarf still has a place on our screens, Charles said: “Well yes only if it’s still as funny as it used to be.

“We’ve gotta recapture the highlights like series 5 series six, that kind of stuff. If we can hit that mark then brilliant. There’s no point doing it if it’s a bit so-so.”

Liverpuddlian Charles confirmed he will be making a comeback as the leather jacket-wearing Lister in the new series of Red Dwarf, the first series of which first aired in 1988 and gained a cult following throughout the 90’s.

When asked whether the Cat, played by Danny John-Jules, and Rimmer, played by Chris Barrie, would be making a return to our screens, Charles said: “Yep, the Cat’s coming back!

“Chris Barrie was my favourite. He IS Rimmer. We’re all quite like our characters – we’re just caricatures of ourselves!”

Well, what’s the point of Twitter if Craig goes and talks to the bloody Daily Mail. Damn and blast, I’m ringing him now! :-)

I was told not to say anything at all. In fact, I’m still not going to. @dougRDnaylor, I didn’t say anything. Not a bloody peep.

No, I’m not saying anything about the new series of Red Dwarf until I’m given the official all clear. That’s it. I’m closing down!

I’m not saying anything about how it’ll be different from the 3 specials we did in ‘09, nothing, not a mention. That’s it! (arms folded)

So, yes, I think you can officially start to break out the bunting. Meanwhile, rather than do anything useful, like tell us who’s supposedly commissioned this series for broadcast, or attempt to get any sort of statement from Doug Naylor and/or GNP, the Mail have decided to show their utter pig-ignorance on the subject:

But fans will be left guessing as to the plot of the new series as Craig has yet to reveal what will happen.

At the end of series eight, the spaceship was overtaken by a mystery virus and the crew all manage to abandoned ship, except for Rimmer who was left stranded alone to face Death – who he had earlier kicked in the groin.

I’m surmising one of two things are the case, here:

1. The new series will entirely ignore Back to Earth, pretending the whole thing never happened, and pick up directly from the end of VIII.

2. The Daily Mail are staffed by gibbering simpletons.

I’ll leave you to decide which it is.

UPDATE: OH AND OF COURSE YOU SPEND HALF AN HOUR WRITING A BLOG POST AND THEN ROBERT GOES AND DOES THE SAME THING JUST AS YOU HIT “PUBLISH”.

So, the thing is, the whole point was that I was told not to say anything. Doug told me, face to face, ‘don’t tweet this bobby. Not yet.’

So I didn’t. I was really good. I said nothing.

Then I spend a day in my voice over cell and know nothing of the interview Craig had done on the radio, which was, it appears, picked up by the Daily Mail, which, as you know is my fave all time newspaper. Ahem.

http://bit.ly/hFd11E

So then I get back to my trusty lappy and there’s a great slew of tweets telling me that Craig has once again spilt the beans. You’ve got to love him, he knows how to spin the scoop.

I’ve just spoken to Craig, he was as usual gloriously funny about it. He said, and I quote.

‘I did a radio interview and it just sort of slipped out.’

So yes, we are making a new series, commissioned by Dave, not a special or a movie or a one of dooberry. A full 6 half hour episodes of a brand new series.

… By the time the shows are released on Dave in 2012…

We start shooting this in November this year

*gibbers*

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE:

The plan at the moment, and this could change, the plan is that we record the new series in front of an audience.

Now, this is a complicated issue. The last time we recorded a show in front of an audience was in 1998. Anyone remember 1998?

No YouTube, no Facebook, no Twitter, no broadband, no HD video cameras in mobile phones. Okay, a few people had e-mail. I had a crude web page already, but it really was basic.

So when the audience came in the producers would ask them politely not to reveal any spoilers ‘on the world wide web’ as we referred to it then. I’m sure some people did, but so few people would have seen anything it really didn’t matter.

The fear among the producers now is that it’s impossible to imagine an audience of around 400 people at the recording of a TV show like Red Dwarf, where nobody does a bit of a hint on Twitter, or sneaks a picture on Facebook or posts a bit of badly shot video on YouTube.

… and it goes on. I won’t quote the whole thing, because it’s a long and interesting post that Robert has taken time to write, so you should go and read it. But what it boils down to is this: the cast and crew want to do it in front of an audience, but the producers are worried about every little plot detail and joke leaking out to the public before it’s broadcast. So Robert is opening the floor for people to suggest clever ways this might be worked around.

But essentially: there is going to be a new series of six episodes of Red Dwarf, shooting is going to start in November 2011 – possibly in front of an audience – and Dave are going to broadcast it in 2012. Fuck yeah.

Confirmation from Bobby there of November shooting and a 2012 broadcast on Dave, so I’m guessing Craig/the Mail were right.

About the audience ‘spoilers’ issue…maybe get everyone to hand in their devices? It should be made clear when people are applying for tickets that in attending the recording you aren’t allowed to take photos or record anything yourself. Hopefully everyone will just go with it, for the sake of the show.

Of course, what’s to stop you going straight online and giving everything away? Nothing. But, as with anything, you don’t have to read those spoilers. And the number of people that would be spoiled in that way would be miniscule compared with the eventual broadcast viewing figures, so I don’t think it’s worth worrying about too much.

Pics and videos are the main thing to try and stop. Though perhaps some official crew shots released just before the first audience recording would effectively beat the spoiler-hunters to it, making those evil-doers and ne’r-do-wells with their (blummin’) phones a tad less desperate to mar proceedings. I’m sure this is the main reason the studio sent out the first official shot of Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man last week, just before the spy pics of the shooting they’ve been doing this week came flooding in.

It’s been a few days coming but it’s been worth the wait. This is great news, one that the audience could be returnning and two that we will be getting a full series. It would be uber cool if TOS mention this tomorrow but for some reason I reckon it’ll be next week. I Wonder if Dave will have a linking website like they did for Back to Earth? Let the fun and specualtion begin…once more.

> And the number of people that would be spoiled in that way would be miniscule compared with the eventual broadcast viewing figures, so I don’t think it’s worth worrying about too much.

This. Let’s be fair, I think it’s safe to assume – for better or worse – that a new series of Red Dwarf won’t benefit from quite the same media coverage as Back to Earth (which had the ‘Red Dwarf Returns!’/Corrie hooks).

Therefore I put it to you that, while plot spoilers will undoubtedly be out there in the public domain, the only people likely to realistically encounter them are the likes of you and me: the fan devoted enough to frequent Red Dwarf websites such as this one. Even then, most will choose not to read spoilers, meaning that only a very small number will have plot knowledge in advance of airing. And they will be a big enough fan that it certainly won’t affect viewership: they’re bound to watch it regardless. The only thing effected is their personal enjoyment of the show: more fool them for spoiling it for themselves.

For me, Red Dwarf is principally a comedy, and I watch comedy to laugh. Even if I knew the plot of a forthcoming episode of Red Dwarf in its entirety – twists and all – I would still tune in for the comedy factor none-the-less. I honestly don’t think this reluctance to film in front of an audience is justified. At least not enough to outweigh the positive benefits of doing it. I can’t see ‘online spoilers’ causing anymore than a small ripple.

Cool. Shame a bit that’s it’s so long away, but still we’ve survived longer. :-)

Well the IT crowd is an audience sitcom, how well does that manage in the spoilers stakes? in 2011? Personally I never hear anything about that show in advance, but equally I dont go looking. Does much get out? I know Dr who has a huge number of stalkers where It’s a game to get any info and photo. I’ve fallen into reading some of that stuff before, but can equally control my level of looking. Where’s Dwarf going to be in the middle of those types of show following?

I agree with the general consensus – they seem to be worrying far too much about the audience issue. If we go with the four million figure for Part 1 – how many of those people will look at spoilers? And out of those, how many people will REMEMBER them come the broadcast? And of those that do – how many of those people will then no longer watch the show?

Believe me, I’d love to see millions of people swoop to G&T for the latest Red Dwarf rumours. But it isn’t going to happen. If some fans want to spoil themselves, that’s their own business. It doesn’t impact the show.

After all, there are whole magazines dedicated to spoiling soaps, and it doesn’t seem to be doing them any harm…

(Also: you want your big surprise? Just do what you did with the end of Series VI. Easy.)

>For me, Red Dwarf is principally a comedy, and I watch comedy to laugh

Exactly. Talk about over-thinking. Did ANYONE, when they were watching BTE, think it would end in any other way than the resolution that we got? This isn’t LOST for fuck’s sake. It’s a sitcom. Make it funny and people will like it and tune in for the next instalment.

>Believe it or not, I know how all of my favorite episodes end, and it doesn’t stop me enjoying them when I sit down to watch.

Yeah, stuff hiding spoilers. If people want to find out, they’ll find out, simple as. The crucial thing here is, as long as these episodes are funny and good, people will flock in. That’s all there is to it. Film it in front of an audience, or film it single camera and then show it to an audience for the laugh track, (which is one way of kinda sorta minimising the spoilerage, in terms of timescale), it doesn’t matter. As long as the writing is strong and the comedy funny, it’ll do fine.

This is fantastic news! I can’t wait for the new eps. The only thing that is a bit of a concern, is the “half hour” episodes. On a channel with ad breaks in between episodes, it would really be 20-odd minute episodes without them. I enjoyed the BtE specials but the change in normal running time for an episdoe did bug me and I think really didn’t help it either. Especially for a show like Red Dwarf, where the cast have mentioned in the past the difficulty in cutting the shows DOWN to 30 minutes and saying at one point – “Doug can’t write 30-minute scripts”.

Yeah, considering that the last 11 episodes of Dwarf have contained just 2 stand-alone episodes, I’d say Doug isn’t keen on writing to 30 mins lately. Here’s hoping the new series eps are just 6, straight up, stand alones…

We could go down the Doctor Who path and call it Season Smegble or something. Or maybe Season X, if you consider BtE as a mini-series I guess. Or we could just call it Season XIV, just to pretend the show never went off in ’99.

Didn’t someone, possibly Doug himself, mention recently that any new episodes on Dave would be 30 mins in a 40 min slot?

I think he said that’s what he wanted. I don’t think it’s definite though. I hope they take that route myself unless they have two part episodes. There’s a lot to be said for stand alone episodes but I think 2 parters aren’t a bad compromise, especially as you actually end up with an extra 10 minutes (5 per episode) which Doug could make good use of. Providing he can find a nice logical place to split em of course…

Here’s hoping the new series eps are just 6, straight up, stand alones…

I think that’s preferable, although I’d welcome an overall arc. I don’t see those as mutually exclusive though. Take series 6 and 7 for example. They’re chasing Red Dwarf, but most of the stories are self contained. I’d like that, except this time maybe chasing Kochanski. (That sounds pervy. Heh.) They have an overall goal, a running story, but a different adventure (or misadventure) happens each episode like. Wrap up the arc at the end. Or next series. If they do one…. (Okay, getting waaay, ahead of myself there.)

We’ve forgotten the most important issue: what are we going to call the new series?
*hides*

Heh. Bazookoid set to heatseeker…

Maybe they could just go with a title like they did with BtE rather than bothering with the numbering. Not that I’m that fussed….

>You know, I can’t actually remember how BtE ended. Is this important?

“There are planetoids out there where this guy is Birdman, and the sea’s despair, and the recorders dream; people made of light and cities made of om. Somewhere there’s Junior Angler, somewhere there’s a justice field, somewhere else the curry’s getting cold. Come on, Arn. We’ve got work to do.”

Robert: Look, all sorts of things, that are actually very like a series
are also unforeseeable. For the starbug in the cloud nebula, the planet is un… unforeseeable, but then it is suddenly very real and inevitable.

Hopefully once we get the Official word from Dave/GNP then Robert can breathe easy and not worry about saying too much too soon. he obviously wants to tell us things but at the same time has to limit the details. it’s a shame he removed the Blog post he wrote on friday, at least the majority of people got a chance to read it.

I get the feeling he did exactly that. But Craig’s difficult to keep shut up, and then after he did his interview, Robert presumably thought “Right, well, it’s fair game, then.” He probably should have checked with Doug before doing his post, but everyone makes mistakes.

Of COURSE Doug told them all to keep schtum. And of COURSE Craig blabbed about it (but to the Daily Fail? WHY?). It’s just all part of the great circle of life when it comes to Red Dwarf rumours of any description. ^__^

Doug should write some extra painful stuff for Lister to do in the new series as punishment!! Though, knowing Craig, he would be up for just about anything… e.g. Lister gets his genitalia caught in a lift door, several times…’yeah Craig we’ve decided you’re gonna do this for real, okay?’ ‘Brutal!’

Wasn’t it so much funnier when Lister talked about doing it than when Rimmer actually did it?

And why would the Grim Reaper actually exist in the Red Dwarf fictional universe? A universe with no God, no aliens, ruled by science… yet, here’s the Grim Reaper. And if we are to take it that we are seeing what is happening in Rimmer’s head, then you have to question the reliability of everything you see in that scene… therefore did any of it even happen? In fact, fuck it, I’m happy with that explanation. The truth about the series VIII cliffhanger: it never actually happened. It doesn’t really exist.

Well it’s more like a metaphor for…oh shit, how can we end this series?? Utter utter bollocks is what it is, and for this alone we have to thank the Christ child for Back To Earth.

I still don’t agree with people who slate BtE; or those who say Doug can’t write/needs other writers. There should only be one person, other than Doug, who writes for Red Dwarf and he doesn’t anymore. That man is Paul Ale…er Rob Grant!

Though what if Rob came back into the fold again…? Maybe, rather than he and Doug writing together, he could pen an episode or two himself. That would be really interesting to see. And not because everyone would be thinking ‘oh, can he do better than Doug?’ that’s not really how it would be considered IMO.

Though what if Rob came back into the fold again…? Maybe, rather than he and Doug writing together, he could pen an episode or two himself. That would be really interesting to see. And not because everyone would be thinking ‘oh, can he do better than Doug?’ that’s not really how it would be considered IMO.

The thing you have to remember about fandom – not just Red Dwarf fandom, but fandom in general – is that there will always be a collective of twats who sit and debate this sort of bollocks. It’d start off with six or seven people saying “Ooh, Rob’s back and writing an episode solo. I bet it’s going to be brilliant!”, followed by a post-broadcast rumble over whether or not it was any better than Doug’s efforts that continues for about seventy pages before a moderator steps in and asks for reason while foolishly offering his/her own opinion on the subject matter.

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“If the Internet had been more omnipresent at the time of the series VIII recordings, then this bunch of Dibbleys (literally; they probably all cosplay as Dwayne Dibbley) would have claimed that series VIII was "amongst the best material that 'Red Dwarf' has ever seen".” - St_Eddie, Cook'd and Bomb'd