Sonia Sotomayor had her ruling in the Connecticut firefighter case overturned by five strict constructionists that understand that judges are not hired to be social workers.

For those who do not know, the Connecticut Fire Department offered an exam in which the top twenty scores would result in promotions for those individuals. When all was said and done, none of the top twenty scores belonged to black applicants. There were a couple of Latinos in the top twenty, but the majority of those in the top twenty were caucasian.

The fire department decided to scrap the results and invalidate the promotions solely due to fear of a racial discrimination lawsuit.

This is a very reasonable fear, because people like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson exist. They are proof that thuggery works. These two racial criminals have spent years shaking down corporations, and even a black man winning the White House was not enough to inoculate this particular fire department from fear.

What the department failed to calculate was that discriminating against white people is also problematic, since white people apparently do belong to the human race in addition to the caucasian race. The firefighters that studied hard and spent time, money, blood, sweat and tears to reach the top twenty were told that they were the wrong color.

This was not affirmative action. This was outright racism.

My words might enrage black AMerica, but luckily as a conservative I could care less about that. The bottom line is that black people are not inferior. All they need and deserve is an equal shot. Unless evidence comes out that black people were banned form taking the test, or that the test itself was discriminatory, then the results should stand.

Sonia Sotomayor told twenty individuals that merit did not matter. The only reason justic prevailed is because Republican presidents selected seven Supreme Court Justices, and only screwed that task up twice.

If I was a black American I would be angered at the notion that because one test had results that went against their community, that all other communities should suffer. Do we even know how many black firefighters tried to take the test? Did they study hard?

There is no evidence that any individual blacks were discriminated against with regards to this test.

This is America. Michael Jordan dominated basketball. Tiger Woods dominates golf. Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice reached the top levers of power. Barack Obama reached even higher. Bill Cosby built a comedy empire, and Oprah Winfrey built a talk show empire. Robert Johnson bought a professional sports franchise.

Every one of these people deserve their fortunes and accolades.

So did the top twenty firefighters.

Sonia Sotomayor got it wrong. She got it Supremely wrong.

The only thing separating America from endorsing discrimination and racism is five Supreme Curt Justices. May John Roberts, Sam Alito, Antonin Scalia, Anthony Kennedy, and Clarence Thomas remain healthy through 2016 and beyond.

The Sacramento Queen is visiting, and I am typing fast and furious so as not to lose any precious time with her.

In sports news, Brazil overcame a 2-0 deficit to defeat the USA 3-2 in some soccer match of some sorts that I could care less about. Had the USA won, more Americans would watch soccer. That would be tragic.

In real sports news, my kickball league has restarted. I am on the gold team, although our jerseys look the same as the yellow team. Thank heavens I am not on the pink team again. Our team name is the “Sugar Coated Ballerz.” We overcame a 3-1 deficit with a furious rally late to tie the game 3-3. We almost pulled out the win, but it was not to be. I went 0 for 1, and made a good double play in the field that helped preserve the tie. I think I jammed my finger. Luckily I have 3 weeks to recover before I play again.

This past Sunday I attended the annual Republican Jewish Coalition bash at the Loews Hotel in Santa Monica. It was a fabulous event that I will cover in the coming days ahead.

Ok, now for the main event. Yes, I confess that I was flip and glib and other words that sound like that when it came to the situation in Iran. I compared the violence to what happened in Los Angeles after the Lakers won the championship.

Yet things are getting serious, not just in Iran, but in Los Angeles.

I live near the Federal Building. I am used to seeing protesters. I have even taken part in rallies there. However, in my 15 years living in this town, I have never seen anything like THIS.

There are about 100,000 Persians living in Westwood (my area of LA near UCLA), and it seems like every single one of them are out protesting against the Iranian regime.

These people are serious. They are angry. They are also hopeful.

An expression one Persian person taught me is that “A Persian is a Persian is a Persian.” What this means is that whether Jewish, Muslim, or another religion, Persians in the United States are united on issues concerning Iran, and have a cultural bond with each other that outweighs religious differences.

The Persian community sees that this is the best chance in 30 years to topple the Mullahs, and they know that time is running out.

The Mullahs were given a gift when Michael Jackson died, saturating news coverage and distracting the media from the crackdown in Iran.

Armagedonijad is no dummy. He used the 24-48 hours that the media was preoccupied with pop culture to kill many more dissidents.

Yet the Persian community in Los Angeles wants change. They want real change, not the change blathered about in campaign slogans. They want, to use a phrase popular with our last Republcian President, regime change.

I will have much more coverage in the coming days regarding Iran. Insurance Commissioner Steve Poizner, running for Governor of California (who was at the RJC bash) has a bombshell announcement on Iran this morning. I will say more after his announcement is public.

Until then, I want the people of Iran to understand that the people of Los Angeles are with you. We do not hate Persians. We hate the Mullahs.

I do not expect human rights groups to do anything to stop the crackdown. After all, unless America or Israel is involved, the U.N. has no interest.

Yet if we get an ounce of presidential leadership from a very timid American administration, Iran in 2009 could resemble Eastern Europe in 1989.

From Iran to Los Angeles, the people are speaking loud and clear. The Mullahs’ days are numbered. Bullets and bombs will not triumph over human desires and human dignity.

I have never been more proud to be associated with Los Angeles.

Together, we can liberate Iran, without firing a single shot.

Of course, if need be, I am still a Neocon ready to see the Mullahs blown to kingdom come.

Former NBC Nightly News Anchor Tom Brokaw has revealed what most Americans have known for a long time. He is a wealthy liberal elitist that is at best clueless and at worst insensitive to certain types of people. Andrea Levin has his latest episode of journalistic malfeasance.

To sum up, he asked President Barack Obama a question linking the Israel-Palestinian conflict to what the Jews suffered under Nazi Germany.

“Former NBC anchorman Tom Brokaw revealed a shocking lack of understanding of the Holocaust and Israeli–Palestinian realities in a question posed on June 5 to President Barack Obama during a visit to the Buchenwald concentration camp in Germany. Brokaw asked:

‘What can the Israelis learn from your visit to Buchenwald and what should they be thinking about their treatment of Palestinians?’

The President responded:

‘Well, look there’s no equivalency here. The Holocaust is sui generis and I would not presume to ever try to suggest to Jews how to think about the Holocaust.'”

While I have had many criticisms of President Obama, and continue to be suspect of his attitude toward Israel, he got this one right. Other than showing a slight flash of elitist snobbery (I had to look up the words “sui generis”), he explained in a succinct manner what even somebody as simple as an NBC journalist should grasp.

There was only one Holocaust.

Now I am not going to declare Tom Brokaw an anti-Semite, but he does have a history of making what can be described as insensitive and stupid comments.

This is not the first time that Mr. Brokaw has made comments that may be seen as dangerously close to the borderline.

In the 1990s, Mr. Brokaw was approached by New York attorney David Kirschenbaum, who pleaded with the anchor to do a story on convicted spy Jonathan Pollard. Mr. Brokaw responded by to Mr. Kirschenbaum with a smugness that only a nightly news anchor could love.

“Do you know what your trouble is? Your trouble is that you’re more loyal to Israel than to the United States.”

Now when somebody disagrees with me, I find that accusing them of treason is not the most civilized form of discourse.

In all fairness to Mr. Brokaw, he does not limit his insensitivity to the people of the book. He did once take time on his way to work to show empathy for the people of the grate.

“I was coming to work early this morning (and) I saw homeless people (and I) envy the extra hour of sleep that they’re getting. I mean, if I were them, I would still be sleeping.”

As I wipe the taste of disgust out of my mouth, I ponder why this man does not get called out on his remarks.

Shockingly enough, it seems that Mr. Brokaw is a liberal in the media industry, where no comment is too vile for any left of center individual to be held accountable.

Mr. Brokaw may write about the World War II generation with reverence, but it seems that his own generation continues to remain narcissistic.

His industry does not understand that Nazis were not warm fuzzy caricatures lampooned on “Hogan’s Heroes.” They are not celebrity characters bellowing “No Soup For You!” on Seinfeld.

Nazis committed genocide. Mr. Brokaw can speak to my Holocaust Survivor father to get a picture on what Nazism actually was.

Mr. Brokaw worships the “Greatest Generation,” but the reason why they were so heroic was because they saved the world from the twin evils of Stalinism and Nazism.

If Mr. Brokaw has evidence of Palestinians being sent into ovens, I would be willing to look at that footage. Until then, there is no moral equivalent between innocent Jews being murdered and Palestinians trying to displace those Jewish descendants through a combination of terror and homicide bombings.

Israeli soldiers are engaging in self-defense. The Nazis of Germany were engaged in cold-blooded genocide.

Tom Brokaw is no worse than your average politically correct liberal elitist. So rather than flog him in the town square, I recommend that he be sentenced to the historical equivalent of traffic school.

He should be forced to take a six hour sensitivity course taught by a Jewish Republican.

I know just the guy.

Until then, he has every right to be rich, liberal, and clueless. I just wish he would combine that with a fourth quality that renders the other three traits less harmful. He should practice silence.

Homosexual blogger and leftist bully Perez Hilton, fresh off of his successful ideological bigotry of sweet Miss California Carrie Prejean, decided to try and pick on somebody his own size. He mouthed off to members of the music group “Black Eyed Peas,” and they responding by deciding to “get retarded.”

For those who need a translation, getting retarded is the equivalent of getting medieval on somebody’s buttocks.

While those that love to stir up conflict will try to turn this into a conflict between blacks and gays, the truth is that it seems that Mr. Hilton is simply one individual that has a tendency to act ignorant, or as my hip-hop friends say when the music comes on, “ign’nt.”

While many people will see this as a fight between people that do not matter, Mr. Hilton’s behavior does matter.

What is not in dispute is that the situation between Hilton and Peas lead singer Will*i*am escalated when Hilton referred to Will*i*am (Don’t give me a beat-down hippity-hoppers, but I am going to be lazy on my keyboard and call him William.) as a word that begins with the letter “f” and rhymes with maggot.

Yes, you read that right. It was the homosexual Hilton that used the anti-gay slur against the heterosexual William.

When asked why he called William that slur, Hilton responded that “it was the worse (sic) thing he could think of to call the singer at the time.”

The idea that a gay American should be allowed to use that word when Ann Coulter got in trouble for referring to John Edwards that way is hypocritical. This follows the asinine argument that a black person can use the n-word.

This is not about context. It is about bigotry. Any person in any culture can be bigoted, even against their own community. It is called being self-hating. Perez Hilton used a disgusting slur, and most likely will be given a free pass by the politically correct media.

(To their credit, the Gay and Lesbian Association Against Defamation [GLAAD] condemned the slur in what might be a “Sister Souljah” moment for the movement. This gives new meaning to the slogan “Don’t get man…get GLAAD.” Glad did a great job taking out the trash on this one.)

Even worse than the slur was the reaction of Mr. Hilton after the incident. Rather than go straight to the police, he decided to Twitter about his experience first.

Now I admit I am hostile toward celebrity Twit(terer)s (although I am softening my anti-Twitter posture due to its usefulness in following the Iran situation). Yet think about this. After being allegedly punched in the face, Hilton went to the internet to blather about it.

I am going to make an assumption that despite Mr. Hilton’s eccentricity, he is actually descendant from a mother and father like the rest of us. At some point one or both of them, or whoever raised him, probably taught him how to dial 9-1-1. Ironically, it was Flavor Flav that pointed out that 911 was a joke, which means that maybe Perez Hilton has more in common with the hip-hop community than he realizes.

The cynic in me wonders if this entire event was staged. Whether it be Borat versus Eminem, or Morton Downey Jr. and Tawana Brawley, people in the news have been known on occasion to resort to strange behavior to get attention.

Our culture has become so desensitized that what would have been shocking behavior now makes us yawn. A rapper got angry and had a member of his entourage punch somebody? A gay activist tossed out a slur in the name of tolerance?

Next thing you know Hollywood celebrities will get real wild and start mocking Republicans. In fact, I am convinced that this fight was a plot by heterosexual Republican PBWGs (Powerful bald white guys) to keep the man (whoever that is) down.

This celebrity spat matters because unlike me, some people do care about the existence of these participants. They emulate them. Right now in a nightclub somewhere, kids are “throwing down,” “representin’,” and “keepin’ it real.” This is usually followed by somebody getting beaten, stabbed, or shot.

This should not be seen as anything other than what it was. A leftist bully who uses his homosexuality to verbally mouth off to others mouthed off to the wrong person. A member of the aggrieved group, rather than walk away, decided to turn into the modern equivalent of “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.” At least nobody got kicked in their Jim Croce.

The Black Eyed Peas turned Perez Hilton into Black Eyed Perez.

Yet sadly enough, nobody involved learned an intelligent lesson from this. Even worse, the participants decided to not only get retarded, but spread their retardation throughout the information superhighway.

Before getting to tragic news, I want to bring up something very sad, but by the Grace of God, not tragic.

A blogger named I know named Snooper had a mild stroke. He is resting comfortably in the hospital. I have an affection for this man because he was the very first person who ever befriended me in the blogosphere. I was a new blogger, wondering if I would ever write anything that anyone besides me would care about. He asked me if he could link to my column. I had no idea what a link was.

Although we have not spoken that often recently, his kindness in the very beginning will always stay with me. I am thankful he is still with us.

Actress Farrah Fawcett and Singer Michael Jackson have tragically died way before their time.

They left us today, but the legacies they left behind will last forever.

Farrah Fawcett was one of the defining beautiful women of her generation. Yet while many know her as one of “Charlie’s Angels,” many forget that she gave a stunning performance as the abused housewife in the movie “The Burning Bed.”

She was beautiful, but she was more than just a gorgeous face on the walls of teenagers. She was a serious actress.

Even more important than that, she leaves behind the love of her life, and their son.

She was only 62 years old, but cancer ravaged her body and sapped her soul.

She decided after so much time to finally Marry Ryan O’Neal. She tried to will herself to live long enough to reach her wedding day. She tried her very best, but it just did not happen.

Michael Jackson is a more complex situation. Like Farrah Fawcett, he was on the verge of achieving a dream. He was about to make his big comeback. Now he will never have the chance.

There is little dispute that he was one of the most talented performers to ever set foot on a stage. He absolutely deserved the title of “King of Pop.” Every kid in the early 1980s listened to “Beat it,” and “Thriller,” and tried to “Moonwalk.”

Yet allegations regarding his personal life dogged him in his later years. Since he was never found guilty of any crime in a court of law, I feel people should just leave him be. Even those cannot should have the decency to wait. More importantly, even if Michael Jackson did not live up to the ideals he sang about, those ideals were still noble.

For all of his quirks, Michael Jackson brought much good into this world.

On a musical level, he, like Farrah Fawcett in her acting, matured with age. He went from singing breezy pop tunes with good dance beats to serious songs about improving the world.

I will always remember the video for the song “Man in the Mirror.”

“I’m staring at the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways.”

That video showed the worst elements of society, such as people holding up a sign that read, “We hate race mixing.” That same video also showed the best of this world, such as the image of Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev shaking hands. Michael Jackson truly believed in the idea that world peace was possible. He truly did want to “heal the world.”

A child of a demanding father, Michael Jackson reached out to children all across the globe. Again, his critics can make snide remarks, but there was no disputing his charity and generosity. He put his money where his mouth was…and more importantly where his heart was…with the least powerful among us.

At 50 years old, he was way too young to leave behind three children. Yet despite his work with orphanages, three more orphans have tragically been added to the list.

Singer Billy Joel lamented that “Only the good die young.” Those words seem to ring truer with every piece of tragic news.

So while some will admire posters on the wall, debate the quality of scenes on the small screen or lyrics to the songs, or gossip about possible tragic flaws, I will simply lament the fact that two people with so much good to give this world were robbed from it before their work was done.

May God bless their remaining loved ones, and may Michael Jackson’s dream of healing the world not end with his passing.

Two sex scandals in the past week have rocked the Republican party. Between Mark Foley, Larry Craig, and David Vitter, the bad news does not stop.

Now a pair of presidential candidates for the 2012 election have just been caught in sex scandals. Senator John Ensign of Nevada and Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina have just immolated themselves politically and destroyed their families.

I am particularly upset about Governor Sanford, because I met him and interviewed him. I found him to be a man of honor and decency, not a betrayer of four sons that he spoke about lovingly when I saw him.

More important than any political angle to this is the devastation that adultery causes to families. Some adultery leads to divorce, while other marriages survivor. Yet survive does not mean thrive. Once the bond of trust is broken, the marriage is never the same again.

Both sets of my grandparents were married over 60 years. My parents have been married 43 years. I keep hearing that “times were different back then,” but I think that is a cop-out.

There is simply nothing about adultery that is positive. It does benefit anyone. There is no upside.

I pray that the innocent victims, especially the children, find a way to recover and lead normal lives. As for the perpetrators, I hope they rot.

I want to clean house. I want to clean house, the Senate, and Governorships. I am tired of scoundrels running government. Adultery is corruption. Corruption corrodes our society.

Yes, I am aware that liberals are celebrating over this. Republicans feel empathy over those that get hurt from adultery. Liberals gleefully pop champagne corks and celebrate how this will help them win elections.

So for those on the left that profit in human misery and suffering, even when self-inflicted, let’s set the record straight.

Ted Kennedy caused a woman’s death with his adultery, and covered it up. The left celebrates him as a hero. Bill Clinton lied under oath, while the left made excuses for him. John Edwards cheated on his wife while she recovered from cancer. Eliot Spitzer put others in jail for the very crimes…yes, crimes..he was committing. Democrats are in a class by themselves when it comes to sleaze.

So why do Democrats get away with it? Because nobody expects anything of them. Bill Clinton was morally bankrupt, so the bar was set incredibly low for him. Republicans preach morality, leaving them vulnerable to charges of hypocrisy.

Yet the solution according to liberals is to keep lowering standards. Everybody does it. Republicans should stop being so puritanical. We should all lighten up, and stop preaching morality.

Wrong answer! We should raise standards. The problem is not preaching morality. It is failing to live up to it.

Yet what is worse than this lack of morality is the hubris of many politicians. John Edwards, John Ensign, and Mark Sanford could have all refused to be considered as presidential contenders. They could have issued a simple statement.

“I will not run for President under any circumstances. I absolutely, categorically rule out any attempt to be President. I will not seek this job ever.”

John Ensign and Mark Sanford fueled presidential speculation. John Edwards even ran again. Had any of these men won their respective party’s nomination, and then had the scandal explode, the entire party would have been dragged down.

I am putting Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, and Sarah Palin on notice right now. You had better have your houses in order. You had better be ivory soap squeaky clean. If you have adultery in your background, you had better refuse to run for President immediately. The party cannot handle any more selfishness.

Forget morality for a second. There is simply no escape. We live in a 24 hour news cycle. Women save dresses now. They mix acids and bases in test tubes and beakers to see where your pants have been. You will get caught.

I am disgusted that the political party that I believe in to lower taxes and kill terrorists is lowering their trousers and killing the entire party’s electoral prospects. They are also lowering our national pride and killing their own families. This must stop.

Yes, there are exceptions. While I completely disagree with the politics of New York Governor David Patterson, he immediately disclosed his infidelities upon being sworn in. This allowed him to start fresh from a political standpoint.

For those that simply can’t help themselves, stay in private life. For those that want to be President, learn monogamy and practice it forever. Few people can argue that society was better when marriages in America were stronger. The breakdown of the family has destroyed a part of our souls.

I don’t care what people do in their private lives. Just don’t tell me you want to lead an entire nation when you are engaging in behavior that leaves you exposed to blackmail.

Maybe we should just install Lojack in every politican’s pants. Maybe we can fit them with a GPS tracker or ankle bracelet like we do common criminals.

Or maybe members of our government should just exercise some basic human decency, and keep it in their pants until they are home with their spouse and nobody is around.

I believe in the Republican Party. I believe in a party that preaches personal responsibility. I also believe that too many need to practice what they preach.

As for firing these men, that is for the voters of their home states to decide. All I know is I will not lose an ounce of sleep if they resign immediately.

2008 ended the eight year presidency of Presidency of George W. Bush. Known as Dubya, or “the Dub,” he took the enemies of America and smacked them back to the stone age. America routed the Taliban, overthrew Saddam Hussein, and liberated millions of people in Afghanistan and Iraq.

This is what leadership is about. This is what America is about. We spread freedom and liberty throughout the globe. Freedom and liberty are not Western values. They are gifts from God.

Ronald Reagan understood this. When he called the Soviet Union an “Evil Empire,” he was not speaking to the Soviet leaders. He was speaking to the people of Eastern Europe. When he told Mikhail Gorbachev to “Tear down this wall,” he was letting millions of Eastern Europeans know that America would support their fight for freedom.

We kept our word, and Eastern Europe contains large bastions of American suport to this day.

While our current leader blathers on nonsense about “hope,” “change,” and “Yes we can,” Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush backed up their words with noble deeds.

This brings us to President Barack Obama. Make no mistake about it. This man speaks boldly, but he is a timid man.

North Korea threatens to launch a missile at Hawaii, and President Obama explains in a cool, allof and detached tone why this is something they should not do.

Iran is on fire, and this too cool for school leader of America sits idly by waiting to see who wins the conflict before taking a stand.

He wants to dialogue with the Mullahs. Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush would have backed the people.

President Bush wanted to take out the leaders of Iran. Fellow Neocons DIck Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Paul Wolofowitz wanted to hit Iran. Ambassador John Bolton was for it.

Yet low poll numbers meant that President Bush could not get the lily livered cowards in Congress to go along with him.

So why is President Obama, who has high poll numbers, hiding under his Oval Office desk in a fetal position rather than condemning the Iranian leadership of the mullahs and Armageddonijad?

Because, to quote Political Goddess Andrea Tantaros, “Obama is a wussie.”

That is the new small w. He is a wussie.

Sure, he acts tough against Republicans, but they will not bomb America. He even gets tough on some Democrats, but that is with his bodyguard Rahm Emanuel clenching his fists in the background. President Obama even bullies Israel, as if bullying Israel requires much bravery in this world.

Yet President Obama is completely impotent with North Korea, and especially Iran.

Like liberals before him, he wants to focus on domestic policy. He wants to destroy the health care system, make the education system worse than it is, and save all the trees at the expense of every human being on the planet. To do this, he cannot have worldwide distractions from things such as other nations.

The man does not want to deal with foreign policy. Neither did Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, or Lyndon Johnson.

The problem is that unlike domestic policy, foreign policy will not just go away because the President of the United States wants to stay at home. To put it blountly, there are dipsh*ts in this world, and sometimes they need a good slap upside the head.

I give Mr. Obama credit. When somebody has nothing intelligent to say, they should shut up. President Obama is not a stupid man, but he has no clue what to do about Iran. Yet shutting up is not an option because the President should know what to do.

The solution is to understand what makes America so special. Alex De Tocqueville understood that America is a force for decency and goodness. That means standing up for freedom against tyranny.

The Iranian people have their best chance at liberty in 30 years. President Obama is treated like a hero by sycophants in the American media, but he could actually earn that heroic status by putting decency and honor above cautiousness and timidity.

Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush did not spend every waking minute analyzing their polls. They did what they believed was right, and history has already rewarded Ronald Reagan. George W. Bush will reach that level as well.

There has not been a President that is seen both as positive and also as relevant since JFK. LBJ was relevant but hated. Clinton was liked but completely peripheral. Carter was bad all around.

Barack Obama has high poll numbers because he has not done anything. Yet if he thinks he can coast for four years, even with the American media, he will be mistaken. he world is not impressed wih him.

North Korea and Armageddonijad see him as what I called him during the campaign, BHMO. He is Barack Hannah Montana Obama. He is a sweet child, but this is an adult world.

The despots of the world are not going to leave him alone to play with his American sandcastle. They are going to try and destroy it.

North Korea has kidnapped a pair of American citizens, and now threatens Hawaii. Iran threatens to destroy their own people before ending the world.

President Obama had better get tough real fast. Time is running out.

America cannot afford to confront World War III while being led by a wussie.

The Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies remains my most popular column of all time, which proves that Americans are willing to put aside partisan politics to look at pictures of hot women with even hotter yummy bouncies.

Yet as 2008 turns to 2009, the beginning of Summer brings the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies of 2009.

When high finance meets high society, we get finance movies such as “Stocks and Blondes,” where the woman is covered only in the ticker tape. Yet even more powerful than the cocktail of sex and Wall Street comes in the mixture of sex and politics.

It is in that spirit that I have compiled the list of the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies.

Technically this is not much different from listing the top 30 hottest political women, except that the focus is on their T and A.

From the front, I dream of playing sexual volleyball, bouncing them vigorously. From the backside, I hope to play Sir Mixalot’s “Baby Got Back,” while giving them the ketchup bottle treatment.

For those wondering why my girlfriend, the Sacramento Queen, is not on the list, the answer is simple. Her parents are NRA members, and I like being among the living. There is not a woman on earth that compares to her in my opinion. Her body is a temple, and I enjoy worshiping at her altar. Yep, her holy grail is quite holy indeed.

Nevertheless, I had a life before her, which basically consisted of uncontrollable sobbing knowing that the women on this list were not mine. To the best of my knowledge, I have had sex with none of them.

Compiling the list was more difficult than I expected. I thought the trouble would be narrowing the list. The reverse was the case. To even find that many women that caught my attention were rare. Politics is mostly powerful bald white guys, and I have never been attracted to the cue ball look.

The list has been divided into the top 10 liberals, centrists, and independents. Given that they were all anatomically correct, this added up to 20 breasts and 20 hides per all three political denominations.

I did not include pictures to all of the women because they were all fully dressed in the pictures, making the exercise pointless.

Several of these women are over 40, and even in a couple cases over 50. So what? Hot is hot.

Also, some of these women have been removed from the 2008 list. This is not in any way to slight them, even the ones that are raging lefty basket cases. One reason some of these women slipped out of the rankings is that they were fairly apolitical, or at least more under the radar in the last 12 months than in previous years. Another reason is that fresher “talent” showed up.

Lastly, pictures of women are specifically designed to increase ratings, which on blogs means more traffic in the form of hits. Women that don’t generate hits get demoted from the bod squad.

Nevertheless, I now bring the Top 120 Political Yummy Bouncies.

Liberals/Democrats: I left out Barbara Boxer because she is older now, although she was a hot piece back in the day. Oh wait, make that Senator Barbara Boxer. She worked hard to get her job, which means that she raised money and made speeches. Upon her retirement, she will be playing the lead of Kate in “Taming of the Shrew.”

With that, the official list is below.

10) Liz Chadderdon/Julia Piscitelli–They are both Democratic strategists. For those who like the anorexic look, these women are not it. They are both curvy and confident. Politically they remain wrong, but that is for another day.

9) Tanya Acker–I sat next to her on a plane recently, and at first I thought she was a Supermodel like Claudia Jordan. She is actually also a Democratic strategist, and an accomplished lawyer as well. She is smoking.

8.) Donna Brazile–She makes this list because of her hysterically salacious appearance on the Colbert Report with Stephen Colbert. She sang “Kansas City,” promising to meet him in a hotel room in that city.

5) Sarah Silverman–I am still frightened to death of her for some reason. Her great schlep to Florida for Obama was highly disappointing, and another reason why celebrities should just stick to being beautiful.

4) Christine Pelosi–She brings a camcorder around America filming Republicans. I wonder if she just wants to see them in embarrassing positions. I wonder if any Republicans have filmed her naked in the name of “research.” As hot as she is, remember that she will grow up to resemble the Pelosiraptor. Be afraid.

2) Naomi Wolf–Yes she has become part of the lunatic fringe that believes in 9/11 conspiracies, and compares President Bush to the evil in this world. Who cares? This is a subjective beauty contest, and she is a hot piece of Jewish rumpus. Plus, one of her sex books helped me get more than my fair share, which proves that even feminists can be useful from time to time.

1) Alicia Menendez–She is the Jane Fleming of 2009. There is something sexy about an angry hot woman. She looks like she is ready to pop out of her skin when debating Republicans. I wish this Latina would just pop out of her clothing.

9) Alycia Lane–This psychotic news anchor has emailed illicit pics of herself to the married Rich Eisen of the NFL Network, in addition to assaulting a cop. Like the Jerry Reed song says, when you’re hot you’re hot.

7) Tammy Bruce–I am pro-gay rights for everybody except her. We should donate ugly women to the lesbian community in exchange for her. She curses like a sailor, and the fact that I am completely intimidated by her is a turn on.

6) Ashlee Dupree–Any woman that destroys Eliot Spitzer and appears in a Girls Gone Wild video is a Goddess. I normally do not endorse drugs and prostitution, but she is why the lord created Spring Break.

5) Campbell Brown–CNN would have much higher ratings if she was allowed to moderate Presidential debates in her undies. She is a smart woman, but this column could care less. She reigns supreme at the Cheesecake News Network. Additionally, she converted to Judaism to marry her husband, a Jewish Republican.

1) Carla Bruni–She is the first lady of France. Nicolas Sarkozy understands that the only reason to gain power is to bed models. Between Bruni and Segolene Royal, the French have all they need for a prime time jello wrestling special.

Conservatives/Republicans: I left Barbara Bush off the list. I am not referring to the President’s mother. I am referring to his daughter. Barbara is adorable, but out of respect for the Dub, I will say no more. George W. Bush, just know I want to be her Secret Service body guard. Please do not waterboard me, I voted for you twice. Michelle Malkin is not on the list because I am beyond intimidated by her. When she goes on television and flares her nostrils in anger, I want to hide in the corner and cry. I am a sissy. The blogosphere has a republican Jewish blogger named Spree. When she becomes more famous, I will make sure the world knows that I was the one who made salacious comments about her when others ignored her body and insulted her by judging her blog on the quality of the writing. I also left out Ms. California Carrie Prejean only because I prefer brunettes.

10) Monica Crowley–She worked for Richard Nixon. Her sister is married to Alan Colmes, but she has stayed on the right side of the aisle, where her loveliness resides.

9) S E Cupp–She is not an A cup. She is not a DDD cup. She is an S E Cupp. I asked her if I could cup her S E Cupps in my hands, which is how I obtained these brand new stitches. She is so hot that the stitches are popping out. Lust hurts.

7–tie) Bristol Palin–I am treading VERY carefully on this one. I have a deep respect for her family, and was enraged when David Letterman made his callous remarks. Yet I have to admit that they keep showing that video of her at the convention where she is wearing that black fuzzy sweater. She is as gorgeous as her mother, which says a lot.

7–tie) Sarah Palin–She is the Governor of Alaska, and a possible candidate for President in 2012. Her 91% approval rating may be because men outnumber women in Alaska by 25-1. Her enemies want to destroy her. My only problem with her is her stance on marriage. Specifically, she is married to somebody who is not me. The former beauty queen could easily win that same title today.

6) Michele Bachmann–This Congresswoman from Minnesota is smart as a whip. She is not into whips, preferring family values. She was never in Bachmann Turner Overdrive, but she turns me into overdrive. She should reprise the role of underwear model made famous by Terri Garr.

4) Mary Katharine Ham–I met her in real life, and she is incredibly classy and dignified. She is a sweet, cool person. She was the subject of the worst blogging 4 part trilogy in history, which began with “Help me Rabbi, I am desiring Ham.”

2) Andrea Tantaros–This republican strategist has a devastating piercing tongue, and men around America want to experience it. She was the spokeswoman for Jeanine Pirro, and they would rival any mother-daughter jello wrestling tag team. Only she could get away with calling Barack Obama a “wussie.”

1) Shannen Doherty–Her speech at the 1992 Republican Convention captivated men. So did her playboy spreads. I have met her and spoken politics with her. I wish I had taken her on top of the jewelry table, but I was moderately less tactless back then.

Well, all these women will have to live with the fact that my focus is now on the Sacramento Queen. They are simply too late. Now I need to take a midday nap. Time to count sheep, or in my case, the Sacramento Queen’s apolitical yummy bouncies.

Today is Father’s Day. For some, this is a day of joy and celebration.

For one man, today is a chilling nightmare.

I receive many emails on a daily basis, and people reveal things to me that are highly personal. This story made me cry, and after much soul searching, I have decided to print the story and redact the names.

I know that Father’s Day is supposed to be a happy day, but there are so many people that feel so much pain that I decided to acknowledge the forgotten at the risk of depressing the rest.

This letter has not been edited for length, although I corrected some of the spelling mistakes, and most likely added a few of my own.

With that, I am printing this chilling Father’s Day nightmare tale.

“Dear Dad,

When I was a kid, I wanted to be just like you. You were my hero, and your approval meant everything to me.

Now I am an adult, and it pains me that every day you are alive, you are more hurtful than the day before.

I want you to know that while you may find my words hurtful, this is not about you. This is about my own peace of mind.

Once you are gone, I will not speak ill of you. To do so without your ability to defend yourself would be dishonorable. Therefore, as you live, I want you to know how much pain you cause me. I do not expect you to care, but again, this is not about what you want or need. It is certainly not about what you feel, because I suspect that you stopped feeling any human emotions a long time ago.

Also, this is not based on any one incident. It is about a lifetime of abuse that you have directed toward me for reasons that only you can justify.

In simple terms dad, as we have both gotten older, you have turned into a monster. You lash out and try to crush anybody that dares to disagree with you for any reason. You rule with an iron fist, and this death grip needs to be broken. Speaking of death, your death will probably not give me peace of mind. You will most likely haunt me forever.

So many people think you are a good man because they do not know you. They do not know about the lifetime of torment.

They have no idea that you gave me a savage beating when I was in sixth grade that I will never forget.

You gave me my fair share of beatings as a child, but this one was the most hurtful due to the circumstances.

I was playing basketball on the school playground in a game of one on one during recess. Attempting to drive to the basket, I tripped over the other guy, fell, and cracked my two front teeth. I freaked out, and was terrified. What people did not understand was that I was not getting hysterical over my teeth. Yes, I was in pain, but I knew the worst was to come. I knew you were going to blame me, and get angry.

Imagine what it must be like for a child to be scared to death of his own father’s rage. When I got home, and you saw my teeth, you started accusing me of ‘horsing around.’ You came to the conclusion that there was no way this could have happened without horseplay. You never suffered fools gladly, and were not going to tolerate stupid behavior.

When I protested that there was no horseplay, and that this really was an unfortunate accident, you chased me into the basement, and beat me with a plastic pipe until I admitted that I was to blame for this accident through my own recklessness.

I never understand why you didn’t believe me. I knew I was telling the truth. I honestly did not understand why you were beating me. This was not discipline. This was misplaced rage.

I was always an honest person. I still am. Yet when I look back at the worst beating I ever got in my life, it still makes no sense to me. You finally got me to admit that I was horsing around, but only because I wanted the beating to stop. I know in my heart that what happened was an unfortunate accident, with nobody deserving blame, not even the other kid.

When I got too old to beat, you then resorted to an even more painful way of imposing your will at any and all costs. You purposely withheld your love.

You knew how much your approval mattered to me. You did the one thing no parent should ever do. You made your love conditional. You would give me the ‘silent treatment.’ Do you know what it is like to go to school and try to study knowing that your own father wants to punish you in such a hateful manner?

Things got worse as I got older. A couple weeks before I left for college, you started screaming at me to clean my room. You were out of control. I feared for my life, and called the police. Is it possible that I overreacted? Sure. Yet you never understood why I did that. I was scared to death that you were going to do something violent. My reaction may have seemed unreasonable to you, but my fear was completely reasonable. Your goal was to have your children be scared to death of you. You succeeded.

I moved 3000 miles away for college to escape your clutches.

When I was on my own, I lived the same clean lifestyle I did at home. I did not smoke, drink, or do drugs. I hung out with the right people. Yet nothing I did was ever good enough. It got to the point where I went to visit my grandparents on Spring Break, just so I would not have to come home. You inquired as to whether I was avoiding you. News flash: Of course I was.

Yet there was no avoiding what happened the day of my college graduation. You never did understand that events such as these are not about you. They are about me. During the luncheon before the ceremony you noticed that you did not like my suit. It was too long, and the tip of it scraped the floor. I never was a snappy dresser.

I sat at the luncheon in fear, knowing that you were going to explode. I kept quiet, praying that you would just let it go. Instead, you stormed off, sat in your car, and boycotted my graduation ceremony.

You have no idea what it was like to try and smile and accept my diploma knowing that my own father was boycotting my graduation.

Nobody noticed the bottom of my suit. It was covered by the big black gown, as I knew it would be.

The guy giving the commencement speech wore jeans. His mother did not care. She loved him for who he was. This was not disrespectful, because again, the jeans were covered by the robe.

You told me on what should have been the greatest day of my life until then that I was an embarrassment. You said it over and over, that I was an embarrassment.

This is who you are dad. We did not talk for four years. That was your choice. Either I was going to apologize to you, or I was not your son. You ruined my graduation over your own selfishness, and somehow I was at fault. You were selfish then, and you still are.

Mom tried to get us to make peace, but she was never willing to stand up to you. She was an enabler, which only made you more abusive. When my sibling and I were kids, you made it clear that you did not care who was at fault for any actions. You just yelled at us both because peace and quiet was more important. You pitted my sibling and me against each other because we both wanted your approval. To this day my sibling and I hate each others’ guts, and you continue to play the puppet master.

Mom also prefers ‘peace’ in the home to actually dealing with problems. She believes that ‘the son always apologizes to the father.’ She tells me that you are old, and in ill health, and that I should be more understanding of how much pain you are in.

At no time are you ever asked to understand my pain. I am told that kids have it so easy today, that your generation went through things unimaginable, and that I never knew hardship. This does not mean that any pain I feel is less than valid, and it certainly should not give you license to keep attacking me.

I still remember getting beaten up once on the playground. Then I got home, and got beaten again, for losing the fight. Dad, why didn’t you just teach me how to box? It was only when I got older and took karate that I finally developed self-confidence. I got into fistfights in college, which probably never would have happened had I not gotten beaten so badly as a kid. I was never scared of being thrown out of college for fighting. I probably should have been. I was more scared of losing, and having you find out I lost.

As I got older, you attacked every important decision I ever made. You and mom had safe, salaried jobs. I took a commission job, and you fought me every step of the way. Yes, my income was unsteady. Yes, I sometimes worried about money. Yet had I listened to you, I would have taken a menial salaried job and been miserable. When I told you that, you asked the question that still perplexes me.

‘Who the hell says you’re entitled to be happy?’

Dad, just because your life is miserable does not mean I cannot pursue a happy life. I was not backpacking throughout Europe trying to ‘find myself.’ I was working my behind off in a ruthless profession. My close friend was an actor, and his parents supported him every step of the way when he was waiting tables. Another friend bounced around from job to job, and then finally found a job he loved, that he excels at. His parents supported him.

When I say supportive, I am not speaking financially. I am speaking emotionally.

You do not know how many times I went to bed screaming at the mirror pretending it was you, asking myself ‘Why can’t you just be supportive?’

This is the crux of the problem dad. You don’t know how to just shut up and be supportive. You do not allow me to have a difference of opinion from you without you treating it as an act of war. Disagreeing with you is not the same as being disrespectful.

I needed a father, not another obstacle. I cannot fight the world and my own dad. Mom kept saying that you ‘were not the enemy,’ but what else does a guy call it when the guy that brought him into this world spends every waking minute trying to undermine his confidence in his own skill set?

The irony is that you kept saying that you wanted me to be happy. No, that is a lie. You wanted me to be what your definition of happiness was. It was always about you. Your life did not amount to what you wanted, and you are filled with regrets. The only regret I have is that my father will simply not shut up and be happy for me. By defying you, I became a successful professional that surpassed anything you ever achieved. Outside of my family, I am happy.

Needless to say, between the beatings in junior high school and the post-beating abuse at home, I was not going to succeed with women. My confidence was shot. When your own father reminds you repeatedly how ashamed he is, and what a loser his son is, confidence is not sky high. Yet when I moved 3000 miles away, I finally developed some confidence.

You like to brag to your friends that when I went away I became human. I was always human, and a pretty good person at that. I have had the same friends my whole life, and most people like me. So many people tell me how proud my parents must be of me. It makes me want to cry knowing how ashamed they are. Can everybody else be wrong? Of course not.

In 2005, I met a lovely woman. My Aunt met her, and liked her a lot. Sure, we had problems, but make no mistake about it. The worst fights we had were about you. It started the day you told me that you would refuse to meet her, and never accept the relationship.

She was over 40, and you were concerned that she would not be able to have children. You wanted grandchildren, and were going to get them at any and all costs.

She was a sweet, kind woman with a heart of gold, and you absolutely destroyed her. Maybe she was too fragile, but she never understood why you would not even meet her. She even sent you an email saying how much she cared about me, and you did not give an inch.

I asked you again on the telephone, “why can’t you just be happy for me?”

You coldly responded, “How can I?”

How can you? Because that is what a decent human being would do.

You derisively referred to her as ‘grandma.’ Once you referred to her as ‘Mary Kay Letourneau.’ She was not a child rapist. She was a woman in her early 40s dating a guy in his early 30s.

When I pointed out to you that we could always adopt, you icily made it clear that ‘that is not the same thing.’ I asked if you if you could love an adopted child. You responded, ‘I can’t promise that. I don’t know if I could.’

She broke off the relationship because she knew what most people know. When you marry someone, you marry their family. She did not want a father-in-law that was a complete monster.

Meeting somebody is pressure-packed enough without having to face the contempt of the father. One nice girl left you unimpressed. You asked how old she was. I replied that she was 30, and you coldly responded, ‘she looked it.’ What the heck was that supposed to mean? You never had anything positive to say about any of them because you never have anything positive to say about anything.

I truly believe that if somebody put a gun to your head and asked you to say something positive, you would opt for the bullet.

I have different interests from you, and you simply cannot live and let live. You attack me for having leisure time hobbies that bore you, and you attack me for not sharing your leisure time activities. There is nothing wrong with me. I simply have different interests.

As the years went by, I did try to meet somebody. I did internet dating. You repeatedly attacked it, despite not growing up in the internet generation. When I would meet somebody, you would tell me everything you thought was wrong with them without meeting them. When we would break up, you would say that you were right all along. This got to be sadistic.

I truly believe to this day that the only thing that matters to you is being seen as right. You never think about who you hurt. You don’t care.

I once wrote you an agonizing letter over my fear of being alone. The truth is that fear was not of being alone, but that I would be alone and have to hear about it from you every day.

On December 26th, 2007, I called you up just to say hello. I was in a good mood. You were having one of your many ‘bad days.’

You told me that I ‘was doing nothing with my life. I was wasting my life away.’

I was taken aback by this unprovoked attack, even from you. You then went on to scream at me for being single. I was not doing anything in your eyes to pursue having a family. To make things even more bizarre, you told me a couple weeks earlier that you felt I would make a good father. I never understood why you said it. Yet only two weeks later, because I was single, I was supposedly wasting time.

With a sky high divorce rate, I simply wanted to get it right. Other issues involving friends with unhealthy children were concerning me. You didn’t care. Everything is about what you want all the time.

You just keep pushing and pushing until I want to beat you to death just to shut you up. Then when I get a girlfriend you list the reasons why it will fail.

I still cannot fathom why you would scream at me just for not having a family.

I tried to get you to give me a bread crumb of paternal affection. I pointed out that on the one hand you want me to be a father, yet your stories of fatherhood were always stories of hardship. I asked you to tell me about some of the joys of fatherhood. I asked you to describe the joy you felt when you brought me home from the hospital the first time. I was begging you to give me one aspect of fatherhood that was joyful.

You wouldn’t do it. You said that, ‘Life isn’t about being joyful. It’s about fulfilling obligations and responsibilities. We don’t do things because they are fun. We do them because they are what we are supposed to do.’

You then again reminded me that ‘nobody is entitled to be happy.’

Mom keeps saying that you are just from a different time and generation. This is an excuse.

Happiness is not some new age, 21st century feel-good concept. Human beings should pursue happiness, provided they do so responsibly. People can have both. I did in my career, and have that in my current relationship.

You consider being supportive as ‘coddling.’

You just can’t stop the negativity. You can’t stop the bitterness. People say that you are too old to change.

Those are excuses. You see no reason to change because nobody ever holds you accountable for your actions.

That is why I wrote this long letter. I am holding you accountable.

I have already warned my girlfriend about you. She seems very emotionally strong, and will not break no matter how hard you try.

Her family is wonderful. They are so warm, loving, and accepting, that it made me cry after I got done meeting them. Then again, I feel that way about the families of all of my friends. Many of those families have taken me in.

Yes, I have an outside view, but my friends who know me know that the way you treat me is far from anything they can understand, and their parents are the same as age as you.

It is not your generation dad. It is not your health. It is not your hardscrabble upbringing.

It is you.

You are a bully. The only thing that stops a bully is when you deck him in the face and make him bleed.

I have no intention of using physical violence. Laws prevent that. Yet I will psychologically break you in half because you deserve every ounce of pain that comes your way.

Mom will say that this will not make me feel better, but she is too busy enabling you to see the truth.

What are you going to do, cut me off financially? I don’t care. It’s not my money.

What are you going to do, cut me off emotionally? You already do that. You did it again in 2009 when I ‘defied your orders.’ I defied your orders because your orders were wrong.

You will never accept me for who I am. You once threatened never to speak to me again if I grew facial hair on my cheeks. You felt that a scraggly beard was slovenly. No girl would like me, no employer would hire me, and I would convey a lack of personal pride by having a scraggly goatee.

I was willing to trim it on the few days I visited you, but how I wear my hair on a daily basis 3000 miles away from you is none of your d@mn business. This is an example of you imposing your iron will and values on me. If you want to be ‘ashamed of me’ for how I wear my hair, then I have every right to let the world that I am ashamed of you for the way you treat me.

The final straw was when you told me that my grandfather would be ashamed of me if he were alive today. You know more than anybody how much he meant to me, and that was probably the most despicable thing you have ever said. For you, that is an accomplishment. As for my grandfather, he loved me unconditionally. If he were alive today, he would be ashamed of how you treat me. Even when he got angry, he never withheld his love, not one time. He was a hardened man, but he had love. You may have had that at one point, but that was long ago before anger took over your entire body and soul.

The bottom line is that you are nothing but a bully. I am going public because I am no longer afraid of you. I am going to hit back, and hit back hard, every day of your miserable, rotten life.

I am going to let the world know how you terrorized me.

As I said, you have nothing I want, not your pocket change or your fairweather affection that dissipates every time you don’t get your way.

Mom cries herself to sleep because she wants us to make peace. Again, she wants me to apologize solely because you are the dad.

That does not cut it anymore. As you get older, you will get worse and worse. As your health deteriorates, you will get more and more abusive.

I will not subject you to my future wife and children. You will never meet her. As for the wedding, you most likely would have tried to boycott it anyway unless every detail was to your satisfaction. I am not going to have you make a scene at my wedding like you did at my graduation. You will have no say about my suit or my hair.

More importantly, as for those grandchildren you badly wanted…you will never meet them. I simply cannot and will not let you near anybody I love. You are too angry, too bitter, and too hard on too many good people. They do not deserve to be subjected to you. Nobody does.

My children will not be scared to death from age 13 that drinking a can of soda will give them diabetes, or that eating a hamburger will give them a heart attack.

At some point, a parent has to let go and let the person he brought into this world lead their own life.

You have given me two options. Either I do everything you say all the time, or you simply cut me out of your life. A third option of simply being supportive would never occur to you.

You could try suing me for saying all of this, but truth is an absolute defense.

Despite your vicious nature, I have more compassion than you will ever know. I am giving you one last opportunity to be my father. It is going to involve you saying something that might make you choke. If you do, I can live with that. It will reflect your character.

An apology would kill you, so I am going to go much easier on you than you would ever deserve.

I want you to say the following phrase to me, and you have to mean it:

‘Son, maybe I have been too hard on you.’

I doubt you are even capable or willing to consider this. Unlike you, I am capable of admitting when I am wrong.

Either I hear those words from you, or I will emotionally bury you under an avalanche of your own bile.

I may be an S.O.B, but I am nowhere in your league. I am a far better human being than you will ever be.

It’s payback time dad. The bullying is going to stop now. I will take back the one thing that every human being has a right to possess. I am taking back my dignity.

If the bullying does not stop, upon your death, I will kick your coffin in front of everyone you know. They will be horrified, but they will know why I did it. You have kicked me every day of my life.

No more.

I would say more, but I have to go call the fathers of my friends and wish them a Happy Father’s Day. They are like the fathers I never had.”

I still have the shakes from those words. I think of my own father, and I realize that no matter how tough I have it, others have it tougher. As I said, it was not my intention to post this letter. Yet it was too compelling for me to ignore. I verified it for accuracy as best as I could, and find it to be authentic.

I just pray to God that it never applies to me or my family or the family of anybody I care about.