Sunday, January 14, 2007

When Jake goes live, so do we! Let's hope this goes better than the last time I tried this. I was three days into the job (was I ever so young?) and Jake was presenting at the ESPY's. Don't remember? Yeah, me either, and I wrote the damned thing. Apparently it was controversial, though. What I do remember is the endless discussions across the internet about how "inaccurate" my recap was. Dudes, embrace the novelty of the live posting! If I had a photographic memory on top of all my other stellar attributes, I wouldn't even be human.

So here's how this is going to work: After each sketch, this post will be updated with a quick summary. No instant replay, it's all as it happens and written during commercial breaks. I kind of envisioned half of Europe staying up all night to follow this with me, but since we didn't tell anyone I was going to do this, I'm guessing it'll just be a few West Coasters who don't care about spoilers. If that.

Annnnnd here we go! (Thanks to veeveevee for getting these on YouTube for us!!)

Opening Sketch: Unimportant because Jake's not in it. But I might as well write something while we're waiting for him. Heh. It's George W. three days after his address to America. Man, making fun of the President is always hilarious...but we're really starting off in top form here; 75 million troops to Iraq! Ha!

Opening Monologue: It's Jake! Suit, blue shirt...looking quite studly. And then...HE SINGS! IN A WIG! AND A DRESS! (Check out those arms.) And that boy can SING, baby! Gay cowboys sway in the audience...you gotta see it to believe it.

Sketch 2: Summary: Deep House Dish (a recurring skit with fictional musical guests of the European techno variety). Jake plays a guest, and there's more singing! Crazy dancing! Even crazier accent! And some unauthorized fondling of Amy Poehler.Tongue action (y/n): I don't think so, although it definitely showed up in the monologue.Socks visible (y/n): Alas, no.On a scale of 1-10: 9 for the accent alone.

Sketch 3:Summary: Bronx Beat (fictional talk show). Jake plays Frank O'Connor, the author of a book on mountain biking (heh), and the hosts can't get over how adorable he is.Tongue action (y/n): I should pay more attention if I'm going to answer this every time.Socks visible (y/n): Nope.On a scale of 1-10: 8 for the excellent green jacket and the smiling.

Sketch 5:Summary: Jake is on a date at a restaurant where the "food is cool." Jake's "cool meatballs" wear sunglasses, play music, and smoke. Jake doesn't know whether to eat them or "ask them to make a mix tape." Seriously, who comes up with this shit?Tongue action (y/n): Dammit, I failed again.Socks visible (y/n): Definitely no.On a scale of 1-10: 10 for Jake actually cracking up and meatballs wearing shades.

Sketch 6:Summary: "Stock Footage Awards." Jake accepts award for "Obese People on a City Street." Look at his hair!Tongue action (y/n): No.Socks visible (y/n): No.On a scale of 1-10: 7 for the awesome wig.

Musical Guest...The Shins! Nicely introduced, Jake. I didn't know there was a chick in the band! Man, I like lived off The Shins back in college. "Kissing the Lipless?" Anyone? No?

Commerical break.

Weekend UpdateUsually my favorite portion of the evening, but tonight, I can't be bothered. 10 minutes without Jake? Whatever shall I do? Hey, wanna know a bit of Jake Watch trivia? The Bubble Boy Rap was originally the Brokeback Mountain Rap and I wrote half of my portion before we switched movies. A sample:

"But Ennis, he's a virigin, yeah he's drunk now sure,Can't go up to sheep, can't get up off the floor,Forty winks and a blanket he thinks'll do the trick,But he's in the tent now, hand down on Jack's OH!

First night in the tent! First night in the tent!

Fo' shizzle.

It's a one shot thing, that's what they say the next day,'Cause this thing going on, don't mean those mothafuckas's gay!The second night, "it's alright," is what Jack say to Ennis,'Fore he lay them both down and they get down to business.

Second night in the tent! Second night in the tent!"

And then fill in the part apart Aguirre kicking them off the mountain.

"He's got his mind on his money, money on his mind,But Jack's a hell of a distraction when he shows his behind."

And that's as far as I got.

If the evening weren't going so well, I'd say something about how they should be using our raps, but really, Jake's on fire. He should host every week.

Commercial break. Oooh, looks like Jake'll be blonde this time around.

Sketch 7:Summary: "Law and Order Master Class." Jake is the star student and does a seriously impressive run of "finding the body" scenes.Tongue action (y/n): No.Socks visible (y/n): No, but awesome shoes.On a scale of 1-10: 9 for faux drinking and the "Law and Order" bum-bum.

Sketch 8:Summary: Party, Jake and Maya Rudolph set up two people in wheelchairs.Tongue action (y/n): No.Socks visible (y/n): No.On a scale of 1-10: 11 for "You need a witness for the wedding or something?" and "WHAT?" "NO!!" and "Dude, I didn't even know you were in a wheelchair!"

And it's over! Overall, Jake was one of the best hosts I've ever seen and I'm not just saying that because I'm horribly biased. Well done! Now, as you can imagine, I've been invited to the after party, so I gotta run...

I just rewound and then fast-forwarded through my DVR on NBC for the last hour, and they did show one quick clip of rehearsal...looks like they are going to be going the Brokeback Mountain route at least once (saw two of the cast members in the audience dressed as cowboys.)

veeveevee, you can just go ahead and post them here if you want. That way people can get to them even before I get around to putting them in the main post. And SNL is an hour and half, although Jake won't be in the opening sketch or the Weekend Update (a Daily Show-like news recap of the week) and the Shins will have two musical spots. So he'll probably be in a little less than an hour of it.

Veeveevee Imagine how Jake feels, im packing it for him as well and im sitting in my cosy office (its HOT!) on the other side of the world! You'll do great, Im sure your technological skills will pull through!

He really has a good voice! I suspected as much given that he auditioned and was in the top three for Moulin Rouge.

I am uploading the monologue to YouTube right now, but it's a huge file, so it is going to take 5-10 minutes. I will let you know when that is done, then I will record and upload the white jacket/polar bear singing bit.

Actually, I've been meaning to start a thread over at the forum about how much his hair is a part of his character...I was just going through the "Here's Jake...no chit chat, please!" thread and realized how much his gorgeous head of hair has played in his roles. After he wins the Oscar, his hair should, too!

FYI - I'm in an ARGHHHH state of mind...the monologue is still only at 90% uploaded. I will let all agents know as soon as it is done, and then will begin working on skit #1.

^^nice anon - I hope you are right about it being everywhere...YouTube has "accepted" my video upload, but they are still "processing" it. I hope they will approve it soon (I just watched him sing it again, and I am amazed at what a great voice he has!)

If anyone is seeing anything, let me know...YouTube is saying that it is still "processing" it.

You can go to YouTube.com and search "veeajera" - for me the only thing showing up right now is the promo I loaded yesterday, but as soon as they approve anything, it should show that way. I am uploading the first "Deep Dish House" sketch right now.

Veeveevee, thank you SO MUCH for getting that! I just watched it again, to reassure myself: Yes, you are not crazy, Nice Anonymous, Jake really DID put on a wig & a sequinned gown & sang "I Am Telling You."

Yes, the show definitely leaves something to be desired. (Or maybe I've gotten too old to enjoy it -- or maybe it was better, years ago. I'd be embarrassed to tell you what year it was when I first watched it ;-) But Jake again showed himself to be a gifted comedian & proved that he handles himself really well before a live audience (which we already knew).

I hope he does it again or does other stuff like this. I just want to see the guy more often.

UltraViolet here - just wanted to say that I appreciate this live blog! There's so much negativity and nit-picking in other places. I think Jake was a great host, and the show was really good, especially by recent SNL standards. So way to go, PG!

Great ratings, PG! I'm so glad you appreciated the politically INcorrect humor - because I thought your 11 out of 10 for the wheelchair skit was spot on! I snorted and guffawed a few times during that one.

That was spam, lest anyone wonder about that deleted comment. I thought he was great! Like seriously, great. I laughed through most of the show. And veeveevee, you are AWESOME. I'm off to bed, so I'll add any other vids you put up tomorrow. :)

Read your comments elsewhere, UV and they were MUCH appreciated. That was one of the funniest opening sequences I've seen on SNL. Period! And I have been watching SNL off and on for 20 years!It was in the spirit of the SNL that used to be hilarious, lampooning everything and everyone, including highly touted so-called Oscar front-runners. No. the show isn't nearly as funny as it used to be. I think a combination of things. They had some really good, established people leave like Will Farrell and Jimmy Fallon, Kris Kattan. And it takes time for a new ensemble to "gell." But the writing has lost it's focus or its purpose, too. And they really don't seem to know how to use their guests anymore.That's just my general impression of the show. But Jake? Jake was darling! He was fine. He made that opening his own and he looked amazing and in two days He'll be all tuxed up and doing the Golden Globes. Gosh! I feel like I'm at a slumber party!

In interviews, Jake always says he can sing, and even tho this was a comic parody, he still had it down!!! I was so damned distracted by those arms! And sorry, PG. I would have given his Law & Order acting class a higher rating. Those jeans, that t-shirt, that body. I thought he was just great.

Oooh, man, those IHJ people have it all over me! I'm going to keep uploading what I have, but it appears they have geniuses over there, and are waaaay ahead of me! Check out the great videos there! Thx for the info, Cina!

One last thing...other than his voice (and bringing out that amazing physique!), I think my favorite thing was that he wore that t-shirt that said "Ramona" when he introduced The Shins for the second time.

ACK!!!!! How esxciting, I came hear first for the SNL update and I am so happy that it went well for Jake. Off to watch some clips now.....thanks PG and veevee!!!!!! Excellent recap PG and thanks for all the uploading veevee.

Ok, i got home this avo at 2pm. started talking about jake, thinking about jake, writing about jake. Ive had a 2 hour break where i went to the movies and its now 10pm... All day ive been doing Jake (doing jake haha i wish!) I better have some good dreams tonight!

and yeh after watching veeveevee's youtube vids, im absoultly totally impressed with Jake, like never before, but the stuff he had to work with wasnt really THAT funny. His acting and wonderful facial expressions was what was making me laugh!! I guess too i dont know the show so i dont get some of the jokes. Dont get me wrong tho, he did a great job and i will be downloading all those vids from IHJ so i can watch them over and over again as soon as its working! He is amazing... he truly is one of a kind. There are no words to really describe how great he is!

Agent veeveevee, you should get a promotion! (do they have promotions at JW??) All your hard work and dedication to the Agency and your fellow Gyllenhaalics,VERY commendable!! And PG, of course, but you do this kind of stellar work all the time!

the full version of the Bronx beat and Laser Cats skits are up on the NBC SNL web-page....they are funnier in the context of the full sketches.

I think that Jake did a great job with the material he was given. I would guess that he had the more input into the opening than any other part of the show and I think that was the highlight - though I did really enjoy Dr Scientist, the book review and the wheel-chair skits.

Random thoughts: In that banner pic from SNL you're using for this thread, he reminds me of the old silent/talkie movie star, Tyrone Power who was a hottie!Also a young (Godfather) Al Pacino. I don't know if it's playing on the West End, but Gawd I'd love to Jake as Billy Fylnn, the shyster lawyer in CHICAGO! I bet he can probably dance, too.

I watched with my 14-year-old daughter who, while she has many celeb crushes of her own, doesn't get my infatuation with Jake but the minute he tore his jacket and shirt off in the opening, her eyes got wide and she says, "OMG, those ARMS!!"

I believe that opening monologue & song was a brilliant decision by Jake, as well as a really wonderful performance. It's impossible to watch this & not see that he's something very special.

I'm happy that he showed respect for "Brokeback Mountain" & its place in the culture & its fans, and what it means for his career & growth as an actor & a person.

He also got in that current cultural commentary that SNL's so good at historically (when it's good at it, it's really, really good). The timing is impeccable. I expect this clip will get replayed a lot during Awards season.

He reminds everyone how great he is at comedy & what a great sense of humor he has. He's been doing a string of pretty serious movies. It's good to see his versatility on display. I'm sitting here thinking he would have made a really good SNL or Monty Python troupe member.

He makes me wonder what his singing voice is like when he's putting a song across sincerely. (I've only heard him joking around, doing high-pitched BeeGees & female imitations.) Wouldn't you just love to tag along with Jake to a karaoke bar? He'd make a great frontman for a band, wouldn't he? He's got that theatrical, exhibitionistic instinct. Maybe he'll end up in a musical biopic. (Who would he play?)

All in all, as I think about it more & more, I am thrilled by that performance. Last night it was a delightful surprise & I hadn't collected all my thoughts about it. I really liked watching him the rest of the night. But that song clip's what's gonna be remembered & saved.

Oh my goodness ... what an amazing show that was ! I thought Jake did superbly ... he was so funny and his facial expressions and all were soooooo fun to watch ! ! ! Thank you PG for posting this (tho I wasn't at a computer and got to watch it LIVE (and tape it) but thank you so much for the EFFORT ... and veeveevee ... THANK YOU for posting the videos for all fo those who couldn't watch it and for those of us who want to watch it again and again and again. Jake was just amazing and those guns ... holy shiznit (his arms) ... wow can you imagine having those things wrapped around you ??? *sigh* I loved his singing and his dancing; overall just an amazing show !!! YAY JAKE!!!

As I recall, Saturday Night Live was always hit-or-miss. For me, that was part of its low-tech, improvisational charm. It showed they were working "without a net" & weren't overcome by slickness & overproduction. There wasn't anything quite like it on TV when it began. (That's changed, of course.) Over time, I forgot the dead spots & the failed jokes, & I remember the really brilliant skits & performances. The compilation videos & "best of" sort out the wheat from the chaff, so it looks consistently brilliant in retrospect. So I think, overall, it was an average episode, with something really memorable & brilliant at the start: Jake, being Jake, and it appears, enjoying the hell out of the experience.

He makes me wonder what his singing voice is like when he's putting a song across sincerely

I think he wouldn't sound much different...he sorta reminds me of Prince or a pre-scandal Michael Jackson, with a geniune falsetto I could easily picture him as a screaming (optional long haired) rocker

Yikes am I the only one who thought it was horrible? I cringed throughout the entire show. Many moons ago Saturday Night Live was good, but man it's really awful now.

I definitely didn't think it was horrible, but I can't say that I laughed hysterically, besides at the opening number and some bits here and there, like his accent in the MTV skit ("Let's make some noiiiissse!", "Sankyou, it's polar bear!" LOL), parts of the wheelchair skit, and parts of the Law and Order skit. (I also found the dancing meatballs rather hilarious... Christ, who comes UP with stuff like that?! LOL)I think Jake did a great job with what he was given, but NOTHING beats his opening number. That one is a CLASSIC!!

I could easily picture him as a screaming (optional long haired) rocker

not so screaming. remember Water Walking Jesus in BBM? he had a very low-pitched voice in it.. though it did sound a bit forced, so i guess smth in between - a nice manly voice with a bit of lovely growly scrachiness/ purring...

Just tried to watch sketches... You won't believe: every 10 seconds of video took my Net 3 minuts to load. Yeah, bad connection.But I am so touched 'cause of your notes. they are really from loving agents. I almost saw it with my own eyes. Anyway, MTV Russia will show this SNL during the year...or next.

OMG! Well I guess Jake will be getting teased a lot at the awards functions he attends!!! LOL!!! It's all good! That opening was pure genius. Only Jake could have pulled it off. Singing Effie's signature song in drag!!!! Wonder if Letterman, Leno, or Stewart will cover it? "And now our final best song nominee, as sung by Jake Gyllenhaal..." LOL!!!

Jake did well as a host, but overall, the show depressed me...he did the best with what he had to work with, but the writing was crap...SNL ahs been sooo bad lately, the only decent episode in the past few months was when Justin Timberlake hosted...they simply didn't write skits that utilized Jake well...perhaps they could have put him in a fictional movie preview or combined all his movies into a skit? I don't know, but the only thing that could of saved the show would have been Jake shirtless for some unecessary reason, that would have at least given me some satisfaction. I just feel bad for Jake...even his loveliness couldn't save the skits from being unfunny...the only ones that I even smiled at were the Law and Order, Laser Cats, and Wheelchair skits along with his monologue...next time just let Jake do whatever the hell he wants for an hour and a half, it'd be much better that way.

I can't blame them. It's NBC's intellectual property & putting them up on YouTube is a form of copyright infringement. That said, it's incredibly good advertising for "Saturday Night Live" (and for Jake, and maybe even in a backhanded way for "Dreamgirls"). I do not think the entertainment establishment knows what to do with YouTube. (There was a recent article about that very subject in the NY Times.) NBC ought to make Jake's monologue into a clip available on its site, like Timberlake's "Dick in a Box" skit. That would be a lot better pick than "Laser Cats."

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