They say dreams are the windows of the soul--take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts.Henry Bromel, Northern Exposure, The Big Kiss, 1991~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Peter's station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?"

"Yes, I have to admit that I did."

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!"

Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man flying in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. Reducing altitude, he spotted a man on the ground and descended to shouting range.

"Excuse me," he shouted. "Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him a half hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below responded: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude."

"You must be an engineer," responded the balloonist.

"I am," the man replied. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

Whereupon the man on the ground responded, "You must be a manager."

"That I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine ... " the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say instead that they had 'fallen.'

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well until the priest passed away at a ripe old age.

A few days after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

"Mayor, you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep telling me they've fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. But, before he could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and shouted, "I don't know what you're laughing about, because your wife has fallen three times this week!"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

It's a new month.... .....in only 11 more days.

I'll let you know when it gets closer.

I'll even PM you if you want a personal reminder.

After all, these new months only come every 30 days or so.

They're kinda like solar eclipses.

It might even be a good idea to mark your calender.

It MAY already be marked though. It depends on where you bought your calender. You should check that first.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Edited by gymcandy1 (07/21/1307:35 PM)

_________________________
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Hi Joe and all. I'm back from my trip with the Blisses to Connecticut. Great trip. A lot of work but I love them dearly. I hope you all are good. I'll just go back and read the posts that I missed. See you in the morning. I'm gonna have some BB pancakes when I come in. Mmmmm yum.

Good morning Joe, Midgie, SpaceQ, Αnna and all who come in later. Midgie I was wondering where you are.Glad you came home safe and sound Ana I hope today you feeling better.Congrants SpaceQ Have all a nice day.

_________________________
I change all my passwords to "incorrect". So whenever I forget, it says, "your password is incorrect".

Good morning everyone. Ana, I hope your feeling better this morning. Congrats to you and Peter on the run. Evelyn, prayers for your mom. Midge, you were missed. Karen, it's good to have you back and doing better. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Monday. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, and Muffins, in the NC.

Hope you are all keeping well! I'm stuck in the kitchen for most of this week but at least the temps are down a good bit! Forecast heavy rain and thunderstorms...rain I don't mind but thunderstorms freak me out! Holly and I will be under the bed!

Have a great day guys!

Mary

_________________________
"It's not what you have in your lifebut who you have in your life that counts."

Thank you all very much for your prayers and good vibes for my Mum. Doc said she should have surgery because a splinter went awol, but Mum won't hear of surgery. She sticks to the plaster . In a weeks time she has to do anther X-ray and if the splinter gives her a bad time healing the arm, there has to be surgery... Poor girl. Hubby and I can drive back to Switzerland only Thursday because of appointments and also heavy (vacation)traffic on the streets.

Ana: ouch! Is it still hurting you today? Not a nice place to hurt Take care!

Midge: welcome back!

Looney: thank you for the infos. Where can I get "Salt and Bromelain"? As a potion in pharmacy or do I have to mix it myself? And do I have to drink the stuff ( ) or only apply it to the sting?

Hi Karen, good to see you here!

I wish you all a wonderful Monday. Try to come again today. Hugs

Evelyne

_________________________
"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

Joe! Time sure does fly when you're having fun! Thanks for the laughs and I hope that work goes well. HUGS!

Ana hope that your injured bodypart is feeling better this morning. May the corner be kind and move right along!

Space have a lovely day!

Midge I am glad that you had a lovely weekend in Conn!!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Gerry thanks for the coffee. Have a lovely day!

venus Happy Working and may all go well.

Mary glad it has cooled some if ya have all that baking to do. Do you have a remote for the oven???? I mean if you are under the bed with the dog you might need one. JK!! Have a lovely day and Happy Baking.

Connie have fun what ever pops up today!! Thanks for the danish!

Evelyne prayers that the missing splinter causes no problems at all and that mum's arm heals well without surgery!! HUGS!! Sending the Band to be with you for safe travel when you head out.

Gail have a lovely day! Has it cooled down there some? We were at 54 this morning but it is about 74 now. Have a nice walk with the pups!

Darlene may time fly and everything go smoothly at work today! Have a lovely day!