You Can't Afford To Miss This Show, But … You Can't Afford To Watch It

“Lily”, Sesame Street’s newest muppet, for a one night only performance, tackles the social issue of poverty and hunger. It’s going to be aired this Sunday on TV and hosted by Brad Paisley. Brad is a very popular singer of the country varietal who is by no means worried where his next meal is coming from, well, maybe I’m wrong, but since he’s worth an estimated $65 million dollars, I’m sure his stomach hasn’t growled in a country mile. Sure

The closest Brad ever came to poverty

maybe that doesn’t make much sense, but it’s 1 of 5 western/country references that I know right off the top of my head and I really don’t feel like doing all kinds of referencing and shit right now because I’ve only got about an hour before they shut down my internet for being two months behind on the bill, because I decided to buy food instead, and I need to get this out as to hopefully be seen by some producer of the X-Factor “Writers Edition” so I can go on the show and sob my story of how shitty my life was and how I’ve overcome the impossible by getting these articles to the 4 most precious people that read them, our 4 fans. If I could marry all of them I would, you know, for the tax breaks, and if any of those 4 have kids, then hell, I can use that for food-stamps to spend on whiskey and cigarettes. I could stand in line for free government cheese and butter, or even better, I could sell the food-stamps at a 50% Groupon discount so I could afford a satellite dish so I could watch the goddamn Sesame Street ($15 million/year revenue) special this Sunday night featuring Lily the Food Prophet Muppet and her sidekick Cowboy Hat Multi Millionaire sponsored by no other than … Wal-Mart which is owned by Jim Walton, estimated value $17.8 BILLION (all caps for emphasis).

So, is this “special” to let the rich know that there are people who suffer everyday without food to

I don't need no damn food ... I wanna watch Judge Judy bitches !!

make them feel bad after they just returned home from their night out at Morton’s steakhouse to plop on the Vividus mattress, turn on the 70″ LED bedroom TV and smile as Lily the muppet dances around the screen with her high shrill, poor English voice and say “honey, let’s send a check to the poor, hungry people tomorrow ok?”, or is it for the poverty stricken people who actually need to hear that there is hope and not to give up? For the ones who don’t actually get to watch the show because they don’t actually have a TV to watch the overpriveleged circle-jerk in 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound in HD-3D? Oh shit, there goes the internet, guess I can’t finish the …