give up, give in, or give it all you've got

Thirty-three and a third percent.

“Life is like a wave: you can’t change the way it breaks, just the way you ride it.”

We’re about a third through the deployment today, give or take. Time goes slowly, time goes quickly. They switched Andrew’s shift now, so now I never know when I will talk to him. We had a routine, and that is gone… we’ll find a new one. It’ll just take time.

(Plus, I’m HORRIBLE at telling regular time in my own time zone, let alone military time in a different time zone. I never should have been able to graduate from high school with my complete inability to easily tell time. Some days I wake up and look at my (digital) clock and think: “Is it 4:30 am? Or pm? Have I slept an entire day?” And don’t get me started on my inability to ever know what day it is. The only reason I ever know it’s Monday is that my friends on Facebook are noticeably angrier.)

I got rid of my cable at the beginning of the deployment (because OHMYGODWEDDINGSARERIDICULOUSLYEXPENSIVE), and I just got Hulu Plus. Holy crap there’s a lot of TV I never watched! I like it even better than my DVR. With Hulu, I can start at the beginning of a season! So, yes, this is what has been filling my time during the past week: TV. Oh, and the original Star Trek movies, which Andrew bought me on blu-ray for Valentine’s Day. <3

In positive movement, I’ve actually been working out again, and have tried to cut back on my “eating everything I feel like at every moment of every day” diet plan. I’ve only been walking, and doing some minor strength training, but that’s okay. I feel like I’ve turned a corner. The first tri-mester (hah.) of deployment was spent eating a lot, being emotional and upset, and not wanting to have any human contact at all. I’m feeling hopeful about the next one… one step at a time is still progress.

My fiance is deployed. This is his third deployment, but only my first with him. I swear I don't mean for this blog to be all about sadness, but this is my way of talking through my feelings about him being gone.