Monday, March 31, 2014

For the past couple of weekends, we always felt that it may be our last before we celebrate being doubly blessed into parenthood.

We have constantly heard that twins come early, so gracious, being the preparers that we are have had everything ready to go for weeks now.

I am now officially 38 weeks and 2 days and hoping to see our babies soon.

So this past weekend, we did the things that every homebody enjoys.

Friday night, we made a mad dash for dinner to bring it home and watch Dateline, our favorite Friday night show.

We stayed up late doing things that I can't even remember, but 6:00 a.m. came early and I was bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Tootsie was too, demanding her food, her outside time, and her treat. In that order because she is routine like that. (Oh, boy, all that is about to change!)

Ken and I spent the next couple of hours looking over, changing, and dreaming of house plans that will not be built for a couple of years while still snuggled cozy in bed.

Oh, technology! You have come a long way since dial up!

After a very nice blueberry pancake breakfast by the sweet husband of the household, we did what any couple would do while waiting on babies.

We threw ourselves a party in the living room where we napped, watched movies, and read books all day long.

It was wonderful.

We stayed up late again (this will be our reality in a couple of days) and then went to the early church service where the babies were competing on who could bust the best move or show the most body parts.

Seriously, the beautiful service was on being blind, but yet, we were wide eyed watching these babies do their thing for 20 minutes.

Praises for these sweet movements and wonderful moments!

We will have to work on our church manners in the near future, though!

We came home, and I napped while Ken and Tootsie worked in the yard.

We then went out to lunch, ran a few errands, and walked through a local nursery because I just had to see some flowers and dream of getting my hands dirty.

Middle arrived and brought some banana bread which we dove into along with good conversation.

We ended our Sunday night with sweet maternity pictures out on our land and a delicious meal at home.

I am thankful that I have a sister who doesn't mind sharing her talents to capture last minute moments before our world is rocked!

We had the best weekend- full of laughs and love. It may not have included a fancy meal or a night out on the town, but it was exactly what we enjoy doing.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

After miscarrying after having so much hope, I felt that darkness surrounded me constantly. I was in a valley, looking up into the mountain tops, so wanting to make my way to happiness and freedom again.

There were moments that I would get to the top, only to fall down again.

It became my haven and help me to realize that as children of God, if we can give praise for the blessings, then we can give praise for the not so fun parts of life.

This was one of my favorite quotes in the devotion that really resignated with me.

There is no greater mercy that I know of on earth than good health, except in sickness; and that has often been a greater mercy to me than health ... It is a good thing to be without a trouble, but it is a better thing to have a trouble, and know how to get grace enough to bear it. ~ Charles Spurgeon
It took several months for me to finally feel that I had grace enough to bear it. I gave GOD praise for all that we had been through and for the heartbreak.

Once I finally did that, I felt a huge release of negative and look forward to the future.

I am not saying that I thought I would get pregnant or have a family. I still couldn't go there, but day by day, I began to celebrate the gifts that God gave me.

I was able to record them in the back of my devotion and found that the more I celebrated, the better I could accept the fact that things happen that you may not like.

It is those things or times that you are gaining strength, and you don't even know it.

After determining that we would not go through IVF again, Christine convinced us to do it.

Even though, I felt so much better, I still looked for all the negative signs that said we didn't need to do IVF again.

I mean the $6,000 in medication alone was a HUGE "Don't do this" sign.

However, our angel came to our rescue again, and we only had to pay a fraction of that price.

So for every negative I saw, God was working through Christine to have a positive.

Never in my life had I felt so neutral about something.
I couldn't even think of hope. I was so neutral in my mind that I would not allow myself to get my hopes up nor think the worse.

During this time, GOD gave me several distractions to focus on - opening up our booth at a local hip antique mall, changing jobs, and buying land.