100-91

(Erratic Weather Press, 2006) How to make annoying interruptions in articles on Uncyclopedia.

99.25. Improve Your Life The Quick Way (Part One)

(SC4M Publishing, 1999) Turn your life around quickly with our 25 part series which is available with our weekly training sessions and our further improvement courses. Note. Will only work if you buy each publication, continuously attend weekly sessions and take each course offered. In literally hours your life will improve thanks to us and if it doesn't then it's your fault and your not trying hard enough.

99. Berserk

Play the game in the first chapter repeatedly until all your fingers are gone :)

(Pimp My Books, 2007) Step by step instructions on sign-making, begging, and much much more! Cost: your savings, home, and other assets.

87. Collecting Insurance Money, the Easy Way

(Laminated Press, 1978) Techniques on how to make a fire look electrical, how to get somebody to crash your car, how to effectively wear a neck brace, and much, much more! Our experts will offer personal assistance for a percentage of your settlement.

86. Surviving School as a Ginger, the right way

(Loader Press, 2006) Ways in which to avoid bullying and beatings. Some suggestions include wielding a katana or buying a Colt45. Hair-dying covered in the second edition.

85. Oh My God We're All Going to Die

(ChrisFamily, 2004) Tips for how to not go to Hell with the other sinner Liberals and terrorists.

84. How to Read

(Morris Publications) Books for the blind featuring braile messages (not for people without arms). Has thrilling ending.

83. The CigaretteCo. Guide to Quitting Smoking

(CigaretteCo Publishing, 2005) The ONLY guide to quitting smoking for all you pansies who don't want our smooth cigarettes anymore. Free with purchase of LungKillaz...the stogie with urban appeal!

82. Aim Low, Loser!

(Depressing Books, 2004) This interactive guide features such chapters as "Quadriplegics, Janitors, and Uncyclopedia editors: Finding Pathetic Losers Who Won't Say No" and "'I Just Lost My Wife' and Other Things to Say to Get People To Feel Sorry For You".

81. But MOM! Whining For Dummies

(Screaming Idiot Press, 2003) How to get what you want from your parents through whining. Includes guide to achieving a variety of tones, pitches, and durations, and research on effects of each.

80-71

80. Protecting Yourself From "Them", vol. 2

(Resistance is Useless Press, 2002) "They" are watching you. What, you didn't know that? This guide gives your paranoid butt the know-how to keep your home bug-free. Buy now and you can get the special addendum, "Top 10 Places to Find a Bug in Your Home".

79. HE Did It - Blaming Your Problems on Others

(Avoidant Press, 2001) This is a handy guide to blaming the other folks in your life. It includes some of the most common problems (mass murder, bad grades, kitten huffing withdrawal) and, using the handy index, allows you to displace the blame onto other sources (parents, teachers, lovers, Oscar Wilde). A must-have for politicians!

(Pub Lishers Anonymous, 2002). Have you ever developed a strong sense of independence? Are you prepared to live autonomously if something happens to your spouse? Well, the world-famous Bunker triplets provide insightful advise to change all that, so that you will never feel that you can live apart again.

1.5. how to read a self help book

1.25. Get Off Your Fat Ass, Dummy! by Dr. Jeremiah Kias

(Fat People Is Funny Press, 1921). It's thought to be the oldest self-help book ever. It failed at the time of publishing because of constant insults towards William Taft, who was and remains a national treasure.

1. Get Over It, by Dr. Phil McGraw

(Unim Pressed, right now). Dr. Phil shows you how to forget useless self-help books and pop psych T.V. shows, stop whining, and just get on with your life once and for all.