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Monday, June 22, 2015

Update

This is hard. Perhaps the hardest thing I've ever been through. It feels much like when Bob had his stroke back in 2010 and was in a coma for so long. Except then there was hope. And now, there is none.

Boomer is not doing well. It's sort of like a "death watch" for him. I had scheduled the vet to come last week, Sunday, to put him to sleep -- but she couldn't make it until later in the day and somehow Boomer perked up and rebounded. Yesterday and today, he is not eating. I have some new pills for him, appetite stimulate and something for nausea. We go, day by day. Waiting.

Zenith began vomiting blood. Pure blood. I took her in for an ultrasound and they found a "fluid filled mass" on her liver. I take her on Wednesday for exploratory surgery and biopsy. Pray it isn't cancer.

Bubba, our good friend and car mechanic, is in the hospital having suffered a stroke. Bubba, who took me to the funeral parlor to collect Bob's ashes. Who was building Bob an urn for his ashes...

Chris is sick, having a raging infection stemming from her foot. She may have to have a toe amputated.

Ripley doing better, I spend evenings curled up with him on Bob's hospital bed. This house has become a lonely, sad place.

Hi Diane - your sadness takes me back to a place where I was after Brad's stroke. I was in such despair - I sent an email out to everyone who was in my contacts whether i knew them or not- it was a shout out to the universe - I said - "Somebody tell me it will get better"....that was a very sad and lonely place that i was in. Well it did not get better for quite a long time - in fact it got worse....oh what a journey we have been cast upon. Every part of this stroke journey is so difficult. Your story is so unique as Bob took his condition with what seems for the most part such a positive attitude. As much work as it was he sounds like he was a real good friend and buddy to have around. So - though your loneliness must be horrible and every inch of every space a memory....i do believe it will get better. It is life's seredipitous way of taking and giving. But then I have not ventured in the territory in which you now wander. It scares me to think of it. I guess I just know what it feels like to be at the end of hope and I did come through it. For that I am hopeful for all of us. Your story has been an inspirational one. Thank you for sharing all of it - the good the bad and the ugly.

I am so sorry that so much is "piling on" as you deal with the loss of your soulmate. I know and feel some of what you are going through with your heart break, but I don't have any answers. As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Welcome To Our Pink House

About Me

Bob and I were married 09/16/94. He is my soulmate, the love of my life. Bob is an artist and I am a writer.
On 10/20/10, Bob, following his doctor's advice, underwent a carotid endarterectomy. When I left him in ICU that night, he was fine and I thought in good hands. Two hours after my departure, a nurse noted on his chart that Bob's speech was slurred and his right arm was paralyzed. The nurse did not call a doctor. Later that night, the nurse noted that Bob could not move his right arm or leg, still a doctor was not called. The next morning, the nurse noted that he was paralyzed on the right side, a "12" on the Glasgow Coma Scale, disoriented and confused, but no doctor was informed. I arrived at 9:00 a.m. and immediately called for the doctor. He was rushed to surgery. It was 12 hours too late. The CAT scan showed 2/3 of his brain had been damaged. I was told he would not survive. Somehow, he did.
Bob was discharged from the hospital on 12/31/10 and, although the hospital wanted him sent to a nursing home, I brought him home instead. This is the story of our journey since that day. This is also a love story.
(Bob passed away 5/28/15 and I am trying to survive....)