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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Strange New World

*** (3 stars out of 5)

Vulcans typically spend weeks letting probes look a place over before they send any landing parties. Humans say NUTS TO THAT!

Humans die a lot.

We've heard a lot of talk about Class M planets. Now we know why: it's from the Vulcan classification Minshara. It means little, blue, green, and planetoid-y. Perfect place for a stroll. SUSPICIOUSLY perfect!

Time for a camping trip. And Trip to go camping! Ghost stories, marsh melons, guy-on-guy tent pitching... But, wait! There's a blue-gilled neck bug from 'Conspiracy' in Trip's sleeping bag! He has no way of knowing... but he's right to try to kill it! Or maybe that's just more of Hodgkin's Parallel Insect Development. You could ask Cutler the entomologist, but she's mostly here so the weenie roast isn't such a sausage fest. And to look around in awe and wonder. Awww! Wonder, wonder...

Back in 2151, they have a working transporter, but everybody trusts it about 10,000 kilometers less far than they can throw it. There is a good reason for this: a stiff wind during beaming can result in leaves, twigs, and grit beaming up as part of your skin. Poor redshirt Novakovich! Do you think Phlox treats leaf skin with aloe?

So much for Archer's catchphrase: "We can't be afraid of the wind."

This "Strange New World" doesn't get a name on screen yet, but we've already heard it mentioned in 'Yesterday's Enterprise'. This is Archer IV. Don't be afraid of the wind- be afraid of the hallcinogenic paranoia pollen CARRIED by the wind! It's not as much fun as the spores of Omicron Ceti III. Or the PSI 2000 virus. But short of getting drunk or having sensible conversations it's a quick way to get to know each other early in a mission. If that's what you're into.