2. It’s still Hanukkah! More gift-giving holidays should be eight day events. (President’s Day, I’m looking at you.)

3. Did you watch the 12/12/12 concert? How was it? How many people at the benefit made you ask, “Who is that?”

4. It just wouldn’t be the holidays if at some point during the month your fingers aren’t covered in raw cookie dough.

5. Happy birthday, Taylor Swift! Hey, this one time I dated a girl and we had pizza. After all you shared with us about your love life, it’s only fair that I return the favor. So...there ya go.

6. Some babies were born yesterday at exactly 12:12 a.m. or p.m., and you know those kids will grow up with annoying stories about how they were born on 12/12/12 at 12:12 and we’ll all have to pretend to care. “Oh really? And your lucky number is 12? And you have a 12 tattoo? And there's a 12 in your phone number? You’re fascinating!”

7. Word of the Day: November. Definition: Seriously? You don’t know what November means? It’s a month. It’s not quite December, but it’s really not August. It’s when you get colds. Example: Even loser babies know the definition of November.

8. Barber shops and doctor’s offices have baskets of free mini-candy canes just sitting out in the open. They’re meant for little children, but can’t we stop all this age-discrimination?