Unhappy Habits Demystified Mini Course

Life is more beautiful, meaningful and enjoyable when we are happy. But how come there are so many unhappy people with habits that are not productive at all found at every corner nowadays?

From the grumpy neighbor across the street who never says hello, to the bank teller who always looks miserable, thinking he just does this for the money but he would rather be anywhere else but at his job, unhappiness is all around us. If you’re wondering why some people always look happy and truly are while others are so miserable, it’s all in the combination of the way they think, act, and the decisions made in life.

Sure, we all have our bad days when we feel low, but at the end of the day; only you have the power to rise above your circumstances and be happy or spend the rest of your life beating yourself up in misery.

Much of it comes down to your life choices. And of course, when these choices are repeated, they become habits and beliefs that dictate everything in your life.

Here are 10 habits of unhappy people that you should get rid of if you want to create more happiness:

1. The Obsessed Perfectionist

I believe every person is a perfectionist in his or her own right. We all have high expectations of ourselves and dedicate lots of time and effort to achieve them. To this end, perfectionism drives us to go the extra mile to excel in every aspect of our lives, which is a good thing. However, it becomes a big problem when the pursuit of perfection turns into an obsession. This type of “extreme perfectionism” can have adverse effects on both your physical and mental health and prevent you from being your best.

For instance, you’re likely to become less efficient in what you do when you spend way more time fixing errors after completing a task so that the end product can be “perfect.” Initially, this may start off in 10 minutes, but as time goes, you’ll find yourself spending 30 minutes, or an hour more on a task than you intended.

Also, the desire to always be perfect can also make you over-complicate an otherwise simple task to the extent that it becomes subconsciously intimidating to you. As a result, you may find yourself procrastinating as you wait for the “perfect” moment to get it done “perfectly.” This moment may never come until it’s too late.

But most importantly, obsession with perfection can prevent you from being happy. Most often, perfectionists suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, and sometimes they even commit suicide when things don’t turn out as they expected.

So how do you tell if you or someone you know is obsessed with perfection?

Here are 10 signs to look out for unhappy perfectionist people:

1. They often set incredibly high and unrealistic expectations for themselves.

2. They are obsessed with fixing errors.

3. They don’t delegate work to others.

4. They are obsessed with only the perfect end product; not the process.

5. They are not satisfied when they perform well unless it’s 100% perfect.

6. They pay great attention to detail.

7. They are often procrastinators.

8. They often feel inadequate and lack self-confidence.

9. They constantly criticize themselves when they get things wrong, but are very sensitive to criticisms from others.

10. They’re afraid of trying and making mistakes.

If you identify with the above characteristics, these practical tips can help you overcome your perfectionist tendencies to live a healthy and happy life:

Be Okay With Making Mistakes

We live in a real world where failures, mistakes, and imperfections are part of life. The sooner you’ll accept and embrace that fact, the faster you’ll be able to let go of your need for perfection, and the happier you’ll become.

Set A Time Limit

Every work you have will take as long as you want it to take. If you don’t set a time limit for it, you’ll take forever to accomplish it. However, if you give yourself 3 hours to complete it, you’ll be able to do so in 3 hours or less and move on to something else. The great sense of satisfaction that you feel when you successfully complete an assignment or achieve a goal is incomparable.

Focus On The Process, Not The End Results

When you’re 100% attentive to the present moment, you’ll be able to give you best to the task at hand, instead of worrying about the outcome.

Overall, being obsessed with perfection can only lead to disappointments, stress, and unhappiness. So, why waste your time on it? Instead, forgive yourself when you make mistakes, learn from them and be happy, just the way it was intended from the beginning.

2 Comments

Unfortunately … without realizing, some people appear to derive some satisfaction from complaining. We all know… that person that always talks about the abuses in life they continue to suffer and you just can’t move them from that focus even if you take different approaches like empathy, silent listening (sounding board), or even just trying to joke to make things lighter. They ‘love’ and seem happy complaining about something, anything. It’s a habit that’s ingrained and second nature. Personally when I catch myself complaining I try not to make it worse by beating myself up for worsening my mood by my own frustrated complaints. I’m not perfect and I try to move on by tuning out what’s bugged me. Reading, meditating, listening to music and even changing directions, if in traffic, helps. After all, situations will always change. When in a better place I’m am grateful, even for my complaining friends and family as they provide the contrast that I learn from about myself. Imho.

Primarily, I think that it’s because they’ve created from all those experiences, an identity of themselves as who they see themselves to be. They are terrified of loosing this identity because after all, who will they be? It’s like a program that has been written in their subconscious mind from all their collective negative experiences. For some people it takes ongoing and consistent re-conditioning of the mind, but Interestingly enough, for many others it takes a traumatic experience that breaks the programming, it shatters the old paradigm, making room for a new one.