More cheery terrorism news! Five Americans have been caught in Pakistan allegedly trying to join militant groups, and will probably be sentenced to life imprisonment.

Almost actually cheery terrorism news! One of Al-Qaida's most dangerous members has been arrested by the Yemen military. (Don't worry, American military, it's not a competition. Wait... it is a competition, and you lost that one.)AT&T ends their sponsorship with Tiger Woods, apparently because he gets more tail than they do.