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1/18/12

Energy Boundaries For Kids: Helping Them Be The "You" That They Are.

Energy Boundaries for Kids:

Helping Them Be The “You”
That They Are

By Cyndi Dale

A while back, I received a
call from my son’s school.

Now I’ve been called by the
principal every so often for all sorts of concerns. There was the time Gabe
“accidently” punched a kid in the stomach after the other kid “mistakenly”
kicked him in the gut. There was the day nearly every boy’s mother was asked to
restrict her son’s activities at school, after the boys collectively staged a
mass jump into a huge mud puddle—the one near the recess teacher. There have
been the flu calls and the “dog ate the homework” calls, the latter usually
accurate, as we’ve tended to host dogs that eat just about everything, except
the dog food, of course. This particular call, however, flipped my stomach.

“Your son threw his back
out,” the school nurse informed me.

“How?” I asked, my stomach
now officially sinking.

“Apparently he was simply
sitting in his desk at 1:30 and said his back started throbbing. He’s having a
hard time walking right now.”

I groaned—not only because I
was concerned about Gabe’s well being, but also because I was the reason for
his malady. You see at precisely 1:30 p.m. that day I was “releasing energy”
from my lower back while sitting in an office with my therapist. My “old
emotions” had transferred immediately from my body to Gabe’s, no stopping at
“Go.”

I can’t count how many times
I’ve been certain that Gabe’s issues were a result of absorbed energy rather
than a particular germ or emotive problem. Sometimes he picks up my energy,
other times, his father’s. Because he, like so many children, is such an open
child, however, he’s fair game for attracting feelings, thoughts, illnesses,
and frankly, even entities from friends, relatives, and more. As I work as an
energy healer and intuitive consultant, he can even pick up my clients’
energies off of me through a process that is quite complex, and once in a
while, even humorous.

For instance, I once hung up
the phone after talking with a client who had a popcorn addiction. I emerged
from my private office to Gabe’s clamor. “Mom, can we make popcorn? Please,
please?”

We are open systems because
we are energetic beings. Everything is made of energy, which is simply
information that moves. Some energy—or information—moves slower than the speed
of light. This is sensory or physical energy and is relatively recognizable by
our five senses. We can hear, see, touch, smell, and taste sensory energy.

This energy is not only
fairly constant but also easy to contain. We can’t hear what someone is
thinking unless they share out loud. We can’t describe a photo unless it’s in
front of our eyes. There’s an entirely different sort of energy, however, that
operates faster than the speed of light and can permeate our skin, sneaking
through to roost inside of us. This is subtle or psychic energy.

Subtle energy doesn’t stop at
road signs. It’s not controllable by the Newtonian traffic cops of the
universe.

It moves so fast you can hear what someone is going to say before
they even know they are going to say it. It’s so quick you can perceive what’s
going to happen before it does and it’s so flexible that you can feel what someone
else feels like, even if they don’t know it. Subtle energy is the explanation
for Gabe and other children’s ability to take on illnesses, desires, emotions,
and more, that are not their own.

I believe many of us share
certain similarities to the kitchen sponge but that kids are even more
vulnerable to others’ subtle energies than are adults. Their energy centers,
called chakras, and energy fields, often called auric fields or electromagnetic
fields, are still fluid. These are two of the energetic structures that convert
slow or sensory energy to fast or subtle and back again. In short, they are
responsible for our ability to simultaneously sense what is occurring with
others and also send information about ourselves into the world.

These energetic structures
don’t set in stone, or at least, soapstone, until adulthood. This means that
many children have almost no control over the absorption of others’ illnesses,
feelings, thoughts, drives, needs, addictive tendencies, family systems dysfunctions,
and even the invisible beings sometimes called entities or ghosts. On one hand,
we want our children to be sensitive to others, but on the other hand, we want
them clear and self-defined. How can we help the children in our lives
accomplish these goals energetically?

We need to teach them about
energetic boundaries.

We are all surrounded by
energetic boundaries that expand to the corners of a room and beyond. Healthy,
solid boundaries keep out unwanted energies and attract supportive opportunities.
Unhealthy, punched in, or permeable boundaries do the opposite. To explain this
idea, I draw a picture for children.

I insert a figure of a person
in the center of four encompassing circles: red, orange, green, and white. I then
tell children that these are the energy fields that “decide” what is going to
happen to them physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually,
respectively. Next I show them how others’ energies can enter their body and
make them feel bad.

To illustrate how we might
absorb others’ illnesses, I draw little black dots in the red sphere and track
them into the body. This is how others’ colds, flus, and aches and pains can
enter our outside in the red sphere and cause disease. To depict ways we take
on others’ feelings, I sketch a big black cloud in the orange ring, calling it
sadness or anger, and show how this cloud, like a thunderstorm, can move into
us and make us feel bad.

Our relational field opens us
to others’ relational desires, but also their thoughts and unconscious
communiqués. To respond to others’ unconscious love needs, if it involves
self-sacrifice, is a set-up for codependency. To explain this boundary, I have
kids remember the last time they felt controlled by the ideas or judgments of a
parent or a friend who wasn’t present. I then show them how this connection is
similar to a phone line entering the blue boundary. If we decide to respond,
that line extends all the way into our heart or ears and we feel compelled to
take care of someone else rather than us. Finally, depending on the child, I
explain that the white sphere can part like the Red Sea to invite messages from
angels or darker figures, and that we have a right to accept only loving
prayers and healing help.

What do we do if kids remark
they might be struggling with certain boundaries? Kids are very sensitive to
color. With young kids, I encourage parents to dress them in colors that
strengthen the weaker boundaries or attract what is more desirable. Older
children can imagine themselves surrounded by certain colors.

Young children are quite
responsive to the idea of an “invisible cloak,” a sort of Harry Potter cape or
Superman special that, once donned by the imagination, keeps them safe and
protected. Older children are often able to use breathing exercises to take in
good energy and breathe out bad energy. I literally ask them to take a few deep
breaths and say, “In with the good, out with the bad.”

There are special situations
that call for extraordinary boundaries. Tests, for instance, often stimulate
those butterflies in the stomach. Kids might become doubly stressed because
they are picking up on other kids’ test anxiety. In order to remain calm and
mindful, I encourage kids to picture themselves in a bubble of white light,
which is clarifying and protective, while breathing in yellow, a healthy mental
energy.

Night is hard for a lot of
children as their daily boundaries are on a mini-vacation. It’s extremely
important to make sure there no electrical objects in the room, as the
corresponding electromagnetic (EMF) fields penetrate their physical boundaries
and create tension. It’s also helpful to avoid mattresses that employ coils, as
the metal distorts energetic fields. Since kids are usually very kinesthetic or
sensory, I also encourage parents to surround their beds with grounding stones,
such as limestone, river stones, or chips of other solid rocks. This will
enable a peaceful and calm sleep.

It’s surprising how many
children hear voices, sense ghosts or demons, or experience other psychic
phenomenon. The most important instruction I provide these children is to
assure them they can tell these beings to go away. I also introduce them to
guardian angels or their religious depiction of God, telling them that they can
call on this help to empower their “no’s.”

Bottom line, the most vital
technique to help children establish energetic boundaries isn’t a technique at
all. It’s a teaching. I want children to know that they are responsible for
themselves, not for others. Their job, their joy, is found in taking care of
their own bodies, feelings, thoughts, needs, and desires, not others’. They can
help others, but this should not be done at their own expense.

Parents and adults who can
demonstrate self-love in obvious ways best model this important concept. How
about if we parents take personal time for ourselves, not only others? Eat
right, exercise, and enjoy healthy behaviors? When interacting with others,
what if we shared compassion and kindness while abstaining from codependency
and self-sacrifice? In the end, boundary issues are a question of worth. We are
worth being who we really are, not what someone else is or thinks we should be,
especially for their own convenience.

In my home, I frequently remind
Gabe that he doesn’t need to take care of me, emotionally or energetically.
I’ll state my feelings and tell him that they are messages that tell me what to
do, not him. It’s not his job to feel or fix them for me. Likewise, any time I
suspect he is taking on my own or others’ issues, I stop and ask him to ask his
own heart what’s really going on.If he has absorbed someone else’s issues, I
remind him that he can ask the Divine to take care of the other person—and him
as well.

What a gift to let our
children know that it’s okay to be strong—and themselves. As Dr. Seuss said to
us all,

Cyndi Dale is an internationally renowned author, speaker, healer, and business consultant. Her books to-date includes the bestseller, The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy, the winner of four internationally recognized Publisher’s Awards. Cyndi has presented seminars and workshops in Russia, England, Wales, Amsterdam, Iceland, Scotland, and has led groups across South and Central America and into Africa. Her training has encompassed studies in shamanism and healing across the world, taking her into the Peruvian, Belizean, Hawaiian, and Costa Rica jungles, the Moroccan sands, the Venezuelan savannahs, and the glaciers of Iceland. She seeks to unify the world’s most vital spiritual messages, encouraging understanding and community among all peoples.

On a daily basis, Cyndi works with clients and groups, serving as an intuitive coach and an energy healer. Clients are commonly referred by professionals, including psychiatrists, medical doctors, and therapists. She continues to hone her ability to help people discover their essential selves so that they can make healthy and positive changes in their lives. Cyndi offers training, classes and apprenticeship programs in the United States. Through Normandale College in Minneapolis, MN, she offers a seven-class certificate program, “Energy Works: The Subtle Body Certificate,” which is also being developed for online learning. She is also noted for her one-year Apprenticeship Program, an in-depth developmental process of the spiritual gifts; and training in clairvoyance, clairaudience, and healing.

With Anthony J.W. Benson, she provides creativity and writing classes through their business, Dreams Made Manifest. One arm of this endeavor is Deeper Well Publishing which serves as a publishing company for her own and Anthony’s projects as well as other books and products.

Cyndi has been trained in several different healing modalities, including shamanism, intuitive healing, energy healing, family of origin therapy, therapeutic touch, the Lakota way and faith healing and holds a fourth degree mastership in Reiki. Her travels and training have taken her around the world. She taught business ethics at the University of Minnesota; served as a public relations consultant to 3M and Tonka, and has been honored in “Who’s Who in American Business,” “The American Women of Noteworthy Achievement” and the “International Association of Business.”

In addition to her newest works publishing in 2011, Kundalini: Divine Energy, Divine Life, Energetic Boundaries: How to Stay Protected and Connected in Work, Love, and Life, and The Intuition Guidebook: How To Safely and Wisely Use Your Sixth Sense from Deeper Well Publishing, her other world-renowned books include New Chakra Healing, now published in over twelve languages and revised in an all new edition The Complete Book of Chakra Healing; Advanced Chakra Healing: The Four Pathways Approach; Everyday Clairvoyant; Attracting Prosperity Through the Chakras; Attracting Your Perfect Body Through the Chakras; Advanced Chakra Healing: Heart Disease, and Advanced Chakra Healing: Cancer.

Cyndi lives in Minneapolis with her sons, Michael and Gabriel, as well as way too many pets, all of which believe they have voting rights to her time. For more information on how to connect with Cyndi, visit CyndiDale.com.

3 comments:

This was SO validating for me! Thank You! I totally get the part about your son feeling the energy ripple of what you are doing for you. My son is the same way! So happy to know it's not just me and my family... :)

You are not alone. Many parents experience this but are not exactly sure how to pin point what is going on. The exploration of energy, how we are energetic beings, energetic boundaries and how we all are so energetically connected to each other is not new but now be recognized more than ever. Thank you Cyndi Dale for sharing such an awesome article with us and our readers. Thanks for taking the time to comment. We love hearing from our readers.

Will be sharing this great article. As a practicing intuitive and energy worker (and the mother of an Indigo and a Crystal child), I continue to learn how important boundaries are and teach the same to my children, either with '3D' language or 4 and 5D energy techniques. Will be sharing this, thanks!

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Carol Lawrence is an energetic practitioner, blogger, author of Working From Home As A Virtual Assistant, social media manager, author interviewer, book reviewer, and co-author of Intentional Conscious Parenting. She has been happily married for 30 years, a mother of two Indigo sons, has several animals and loves nature, exploring the human mind, spirituality, reading, writing, mother earth, walking around in the forests of Montana and doing her part to make the world a better place.

Stacy Toten is a doctor of Metaphysics. She has been a practitioner for over twenty-five years, blogger, children's author, book reviewer, author interviewer, co-author of M.A.S.S. 101 Man Approaching Simple Soulutions, children's behavioral management coach, artist and co-author of Intentional Conscious Parenting. She is happily married for 35 years, she has two Indigo daughters, 2 cats and 2 dogs. Her passions are writing, reading, mother earth, swimming in the ocean, movies and sharing her spiritual gifts with the world and working with parents and children.

Together intuitively Carol and Stacy are fulfilling a calling and a passion to write children's picture books. They are assistant editors for the family and parenting community at All Things Healing.They provide nurturing tips and encouragement for parents walking an intentional spiritual conscious parenting path by supplying an inviting platform for their established parenting community. Visit Intentional Conscious Parenting for author interviews, book reviews, and conscious parenting articles.

"Dear Stacy, You and Carol have an incredible collaboration; timely, important, empowering, useful, enlightening and passionate. Your presentation is excellent; visable, clean, welcoming and very easy on the eyes. Everything is insightful and geared to helping others help themselves."~Debby Carmenhttp://www.fauxpawproductions.com

"I LOVE IT!!!! I LOVE IT JUST THE WAY IT IS. YOU BOTH HAVE DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB AND I WOULD DEFINATELY BUY AND READ THIS BOOK TO MY GRANDCHILDREN.!!! " ~Becky (Referring to our ABC spiritual picture book coming to a book store near you soon)

Deana said... I love this post. It is so easy to forget to help ourselves when we are doing so much for others but I really find myself happier to help others when I take care of myself first! Love it!

queen of trees herbal said... I really loved to read this... Thank you. Good Stuff.. Many Blessings to you and I'm happy to have found your blog.. Blessings.

Mommy Spirit said... This is my philosophy, exactly, but now I can refer to it by a title--free flowing child. You so elegantly and gracefully explain the relationship between establishing healthy boundaries while giving your child an opportunity to explore their own concept of self, identity, and creativity. What a beautiful blog. I am happily following you!

Sofia said... I absolutely love this post! My favorite: Let them know every day that they matter! Their ideas and who they are matter and that they make a difference.

Dee said..."Thank you so much for creating this blog! It is greatly appreciated."

Janesaid " Nice site, it is great to see more about parents coming together to help support empaths and children seeing ghosts. A world where we empower our children is a world where we embrace truth."