Man, was it ever going to be beautiful. Our cities' respective teams are both, in a word, repugnant. Flawed management persists, coaches play favourites, people still buy tickets and no one wins. There's so many reasons why fans of these two teams are alike.

But then I thought that wallowing in sadness wasn't really in the spirit of the Battle of Alberta.

So then I thought I would write about the juxtaposition of the Oilers (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) against the Flames, (who have gone more than two decades without a cup, who have inept upper management leaders that refuse to abdicate their power to people who in no way could do a worse job running the team than they have, who have endured a streak of more than half a decade without the playoffs and who have fans thinking there is no future) because the two teams are obviously so different. But that was a garbage idea too.

So, let's be honest here - in terms of the hockey game out there tonight, there's not really much to care about because both of these teams suck for so many reasons. Thus, that concludes your game preview.

Haha, man, you really did think that was the end, didn't you? Wouldn't be surprised. You are from Edmonton. Hell, I'm surprised you've even made it this far without slumping over and drooling on your keyboard.

I came to the conclusion that what I really should be writing about is how f***ing bad Edmonton is.

Every single one of your sports teams is garbage. They've all fallen, and they can't get up.

Seriously, what the f*ck is "#GOilers"? Goilers sounds like a mutated version of herpes.

H and E are really all that's left and E bleeds shot attempts. How awesome is that contract going to look in like, oh, 8 months ago?

Clean Hit

What in the blue f*ck is this stupid "squeeee" bullsh*t? "I'm going to make the most annoying noise possible when my favourite overrated player does anything remotely positive because LOL!" Good thing Eberle doesn't do much good often.

GAZE UPON YOUR GOD, WHO HAS FORSAKEN YOU

God Edmonton media is just the worst, too. "Let's run every talented player who doesn't speak english out of town! GRIT! TOUGHNESS! GAZDICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC"

"Oh Yeah He Totally Won That One"

I had to drive through Edmonton on my way to Bonnyville this summer. Even passing through the city was terrible. The roads look like the pockmarked face of a 70 year old pack-a-day smoker. Even the "engineering wonder" that is the Anthony Henday is terrible in comparison to Calgary's ring road. Ours is going to be done when yours is even though it's longer (25 kms) and it started like a decade later.

I guess living within explosion distance of refineries makes up for the 2 cent difference in gas.

Does anyone really even give a sh*t about West Edmonton Mall anymore? All it is is monolithic, ugly and out-of-date.

Can a city really be called a city of champions if no one ever wins anything?

Why are there hundreds of jacked up trucks that are always sparkling clean?

2011's Homicide Capital of Canada!

Edmonton Sun, Jan. 1, 2012

Capital Ex (or Klondike days or whatever it's called) is basically the ginger who writes "butts" as an answer on his test compared to the A+ student that is the Calgary Stampede.

http://walkingdeadmonton.tumblr.com

We even hate Toronto, Vancouver and Montréal better than you do!

In summary,

Love, Justin

Justin is a 23-year-old Flames fan who also happens to be pursuing a double major at the University of Calgary. He has played hockey at high levels, enjoys wearing shorts and tends to drink far too much Grasshopper. Please don't hate him.

fLames suck and I hope they stock pile for this weak draft and end up in an eternal rebuild of hell ... oh wait dont worry Brian Burke and Feaster will trade their first overall draft pick for Joffrey Lupul at the deadline.

They'll still be out of their rebuild before the 6 ring circus in EDM (kudos to Brownlee)

I did watch the game. We outplayed you. Plain and simple. Sure you had your cycle game going in the third period, which increases your puck possesion rate, but it is not the reason you guys won. We kept your shots mostly to the outside and kept you in the perimeter. And only the oilers would be proud of finally establishing a good forecheck, considering every other team in the league does this on a regular basis.

Our goalie gave up two stupid goals. That's what this came down to. Oh and thank Dubnyk.

They'll still be out of their rebuild before the 6 ring circus in EDM (kudos to Brownlee)

All I have left as an Oilers fan right now is that we are better than the fLames and "further" in our rebuild .... it may be sad, it may be petty, but it's the best I have felt about this team since the first game of this f*^king season.

Let's see...Sh*t the bed in the 1st, a bit better in the 2nd but didn't score,sh*t the bed for the first few minutes of the 3rd until the flood gates opened. If it wasn't for Dubnyk, the Oil would have been dead in the water again. I wonder what he'll get for his good play. Can't ship him down to OKC,so he'll probably ride the pine while Bryz starts. I love how management rewards good play. Fedun sent down for Potter???? Arcobello sent down and Acton put in his place???? Un-f'n-real.

..Sammy. Be honest with yourself. You won 1 game. 1. Due two incredibly lucky goals. Calm down. The oilers are still a very very below average hockey club. We outshot and outchanced you guys. On top of that, we went to the dirty areas to score unlike you guys. We're also in year 1 of rebuilding. Unlike you guys. I'd say I like my team better and evidently our flamers and I will not "suck it".

Year 1 of your rebuild? you're right, you have been a perennial contender since 2004. Just because your GM won't admit it's a 'rebuild' until now doesn't mean the Flames are going to make the playoffs any sooner than the oil.

And yes, if you cheer for the Flamers you will "suck it", it just may take a decade before you'll admit it

All I have left as an Oilers fan right now is that we are better than the fLames and "further" in our rebuild .... it may be sad, it may be petty, but it's the best I have felt about this team since the first game of this f*^king season.

I did watch the game. We outplayed you. Plain and simple. Sure you had your cycle game going in the third period, which increases your puck possesion rate, but it is not the reason you guys won. We kept your shots mostly to the outside and kept you in the perimeter. And only the oilers would be proud of finally establishing a good forecheck, considering every other team in the league does this on a regular basis.

Our goalie gave up two stupid goals. That's what this came down to. Oh and thank Dubnyk.

Do you hear what you're saying man? What are you so proud of? You're talking about the Oilers!! You're an Oilers fan!!! Calm down. What have they done that justifies anything you're saying? Good god. Please, keep your pride to yourself until your team starts living up to their prophesized glory years and 6 more stanley cups.

HAHAHAHA FLAMES FANS WHY YOU HEFF TO BE MAD!? ITS ONLY GAME! ONLY A GAME THAT THE OILERS WON! HAHA FLAMES ARE WORSE THAN OILERS AND OILERS ARE PRETTY BAD! NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN AN OIL WIN OVER CALGARY

HAHAHAHA FLAMES FANS WHY YOU HEFF TO BE MAD!? ITS ONLY GAME! ONLY A GAME THAT THE OILERS WON! HAHA FLAMES ARE WORSE THAN OILERS AND OILERS ARE PRETTY BAD! NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN AN OIL WIN OVER CALGARY

it's clearly an extremely emotional roller coaster for you. my sympathy... you might want to take some time off to find balance and stability again. it is afterall just a game.

It'll be many tough years here, I'm not denying that. It's an embarassing loss for us mainly because we played you guys. If that isn't rock bottom, I don't know what is.

Flames fans are so stupid, other than Monahan and BearChief you guys have jack-$hit to work with! Better go for 30th next year so you can get some real talent in Mcdavid. This years draft is pretty weak. CGY outplayed Oilers for 40 mins, a real NHL team would have won 5-0.

Flames fans are so stupid, other than Monahan and BearChief you guys have jack-$hit to work with! Better go for 30th next year so you can get some real talent in Mcdavid. This years draft is pretty weak. CGY outplayed Oilers for 40 mins, a real NHL team would have won 5-0.

A real AHL team would've beat an injured Flames team 8-0. So I guess EDM is an ECHL team?

Flames fans are so stupid, other than Monahan and BearChief you guys have jack-$hit to work with! Better go for 30th next year so you can get some real talent in Mcdavid. This years draft is pretty weak. CGY outplayed Oilers for 40 mins, a real NHL team would have won 5-0.

Flames fans are so stupid, other than Monahan and BearChief you guys have jack-$hit to work with! Better go for 30th next year so you can get some real talent in Mcdavid. This years draft is pretty weak. CGY outplayed Oilers for 40 mins, a real NHL team would have won 5-0.

Flames fans are so stupid, other than Monahan and BearChief you guys have jack-$hit to work with! Better go for 30th next year so you can get some real talent in Mcdavid. This years draft is pretty weak. CGY outplayed Oilers for 40 mins, a real NHL team would have won 5-0.

you do realize you just insulted your own team, right?

I will be nice tho cause, like McGratton said in post game.. everyone is fighting a battle. God bless you my son.

You guys are talking about trading Stajan, Cammy, Stempniak for magic beans. draft picks that MIGHT pay off in 5 years. Looks like Sven is your Gagner (a decent 2nd liner but not elite). Jankowski is flopping. Your hope is on a 155lb skinny college kid. Monahan might be decent but I would get excited about 1 single other player on your entire team.

My point is you guys should stop flapping about being ahead of us in the rebuild. You still have no elite talent. And as we exemplify, it takes a long time to develop 18 year olds. Even 1st overalls.

You have no idea how bad your future is. I hope it sucks worse than I know it will.

Do you hear what you're saying man? What are you so proud of? You're talking about the Oilers!! You're an Oilers fan!!! Calm down. What have they done that justifies anything you're saying? Good god. Please, keep your pride to yourself until your team starts living up to their prophesized glory years and 6 more stanley cups.

Not sure what you're talking about, but you should probably calm down a bit too there tiger. The oilers suck, not too many people will argue that, but you flamer fans seem to think that your rebuild is going to be over so quickly.

Most of you slack-jawed hicks think that the oiler rebuild has been going on since 2006 (last time oilers challenged for the cup), couldn't the same thing be said for Calgary since 2004? Sure you guys finished 9th a couple times.... I'd rather totally sh*t the bed and have Hall, RNH and Yak.

You guys play just good enough the secure an average player (when your GM doesn't pick some no-name) in the draft but are still sh*tty enough to miss the post season.

You guys are talking about trading Stajan, Cammy, Stempniak for magic beans. draft picks that MIGHT pay off in 5 years. Looks like Sven is your Gagner (a decent 2nd liner but not elite). Jankowski is flopping. Your hope is on a 155lb skinny college kid. Monahan might be decent but I would get excited about 1 single other player on your entire team.

My point is you guys should stop flapping about being ahead of us in the rebuild. You still have no elite talent. And as we exemplify, it takes a long time to develop 18 year olds. Even 1st overalls.

You have no idea how bad your future is. I hope it sucks worse than I know it will.

But the fLAMES have 3 more points than the Oil. That must mean that BearChief and Monahan are better players than Hall, Nuge, Yak, Ebs. haha not. You flamers have mocked us, but soon you will see how it is to watch your team go to crap. Start stock piling the liquor, you're gonna need it flamers!

Not sure what you're talking about, but you should probably calm down a bit too there tiger. The oilers suck, not too many people will argue that, but you flamer fans seem to think that your rebuild is going to be over so quickly.

Most of you slack-jawed hicks think that the oiler rebuild has been going on since 2006 (last time oilers challenged for the cup), couldn't the same thing be said for Calgary since 2004? Sure you guys finished 9th a couple times.... I'd rather totally sh*t the bed and have Hall, RNH and Yak.

You guys play just good enough the secure an average player (when your GM doesn't pick some no-name) in the draft but are still sh*tty enough to miss the post season.

1) We will acquire elite talent in time. Don't you worry about that. Losses like these will help.

2) Jankowski is now 6'4 185 lbs. Oh and he just turned 19. Sure he's still a bit awkward because he's growing into his body, but his talent is undeniable. With guys like Poirier, Klimchuc, Johnny Hockey, Ferland, Knight, our collection of better college players, plus next year's draft picks, we have players that contribute in different ways. Don't comment on a prospect base you know nothing about.

3) We're building a "team". Last I checked, "teams" win stanley cups. Not a collection of elite "small forwards" that think they can dangle their way to the playoffs.

and finally....

4) Thanks for providing us a "Dummies" handbook on how not to run a rebuild.Beleive me, we'll be using it.

1) We will acquire elite talent in time. Don't you worry about that. Losses like these will help.

2) Jankowski is now 6'4 185 lbs. Oh and he just turned 19. Sure he's still a bit awkward because he's growing into his body, but his talent is undeniable. With guys like Poirier, Klimchuc, Johnny Hockey, Ferland, Knight, our collection of better college players, plus next year's draft picks, we have players that contribute in different ways. Don't comment on a prospect base you know nothing about.

3) We're building a "team". Last I checked, "teams" win stanley cups. Not a collection of elite "small forwards" that think they can dangle their way to the playoffs.

and finally....

4) Thanks for providing us a "Dummies" handbook on how not to run a rebuild.Beleive me, we'll be using it.

Jankowski who? Flames prospects are a joke. Nurse, Klefbom, and Marincin are real prospects.
Calgary might be the only team that has drafted worse than Edmonton.
You guys will get Ekblad this year, good for you. Your goalies and offense still blows.

I know you come to Edmonton for work.....so here's some advice....up here when a man tells you to blow him....he ain't asking ya for a date..... ;)

thanks for the headsup... your right... guyys up there walk around all day asking other guys to blow them and to be honest, the rest of the world just doesnt know about it so thanks for the info! strange bunch up there but like i said i wont judge.

1) We will acquire elite talent in time. Don't you worry about that. Losses like these will help.

2) Jankowski is now 6'4 185 lbs. Oh and he just turned 19. Sure he's still a bit awkward because he's growing into his body, but his talent is undeniable. With guys like Poirier, Klimchuc, Johnny Hockey, Ferland, Knight, our collection of better college players, plus next year's draft picks, we have players that contribute in different ways. Don't comment on a prospect base you know nothing about.

3) We're building a "team". Last I checked, "teams" win stanley cups. Not a collection of elite "small forwards" that think they can dangle their way to the playoffs.

and finally....

4) Thanks for providing us a "Dummies" handbook on how not to run a rebuild.Beleive me, we'll be using it.

You have Robert Nilson, Andrew Cogliano and Pajarvi. Except even those guys were good enough to make the NHL at 19.

We have been in your shoes. We also hyped up second rate prospects as elite hopeful. You have no idea what's in store.

Serious Johnny Hockey?? Do you mean Nathan Gerbe. The other 5'0" college phenom hobby baker winner that Buffalo just bought out (Buffalo!!) it's hilarious how much hope Flamers but in an NCAA drawf with less then 1 second experience of pro hockey at any level .

Yes because tanking for talent worked out sooooo well for you guys right? After all these first overall picks and tanking for your rebuild I guess you guys are finally in line for a playoff appearance right? Wait, what? Your 29th place in the league? Dat doesn't seem right for all the tanking you did for talent you must be higher in the ranks than that. Oh wait I forgot tanking for first overall picks don't get you into the playoffs. I thought you guys were gonna make the playoffs the year but so far it looks grim for you guys. Atleast we can learn from your teams mistakes and do our rebuild right way and maybe by the time we are finished with our rebuild you guys might be closer to playoff spot. But you should really try lowering your expectations because sure you won tonight by 2 goals even thought you were outplayed like you said, but we are just starting our rebuild and you guys are suppose to be finished (main word being suppose) your rebuild by now, so I guess when we finish ours we will be able to really walk over you guys. Skate over you guys I guess would be more correct...