Saturday, October 11, 2008

This is Wes - A few weeks ago, I was assigned by my English professor to create a satirized and fictional news story based on current events. Hurricane Ike had just hit the coast and I wrote the following:

HURRICANE IKE SURVIVORS PROVEN RIGHT – THE DANGER WAS ALL IN THEIR HEADS!

GULF COAST, TEXAS - The recovery is underway after Hurricane Ike left a path of destruction throughout the GulfCoast region. It is estimated that over 20,000 residents ignored the government’s warnings; ignored recent history; ignored the pelicans and hermit crabs removing themselves to Oklahoma; ignored the deep-sea oil platforms tumbling toward them from the far horizon; turned off the basic animal instinct for survival and determined they would “ride this one out”. It is also reported that 20,000 residents simultaneously dialed 911 the moment that Ike made landfall and they found themselves up to their mullets in seawater and that their roofs were being sent airmail to New Jersey. At that point, frustratedauthorities could only instruct these intrepid souls to use indelible pens to write their social security numbers on their forearms and the words: “I am a moron” on their foreheads.

Survivor Blain Gotnowitz spoke with reporters after first responders, comprised of rescue crews and personal injury attorneys, risked their lives pulling him from the churning waters of GalvestonBay. “I had no idea that my 1962 Airstream trailer would not be able to withstand this hurricane. The government warnings were so ambliverous that I didn’t realize I should have packed up my woman, seven kids, three dogs, and guinea pig and left town.” When asked about his understanding of the words “Certain Death” Gotnowitz replied, “That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Those warnings were to people who live on the GulfCOAST. They shoulda also warned us folks who live a couple of blocks OFF of the coast! How were we to know?”

Initial estimates for Mr. Gotnowitz’s neighborhood showed that the hurricane had inflicted over 10 million dollars worth of improvements. When told that the island would have no running water for weeks to come, Gotnowitz was unconcerned. “Heck, we don’t need no hot showers to clean up. Why, the sheriffs department just told me that my wife and kids have already washed up on the beach!”

So far, the EMTs, firemen, and attorneys had been unable to locate all victims but greater help is on the way. Tomorrow will bring the chilling howls of the cadaver dogs among the dead and of Jessie Jackson among the survivors. The hurricane winds are gone. The hot air has only just begun to blow.

Hey friends and family - Some of you have asked about the progress on my children's book "The Best At Nothing - A Fable". I have been busy working with my literary agent, (Sterling Lord Literistic in New York - they are huge), and we are getting the manuscript ready for submission to targeted publishers. I have also been contacted by a well-respected and richly experienced illustrator who is interested in providing illustrations for this book. His name is Mark Swan and he is doing other illustration work for my book producer, Writewise. They let him see my manuscript and illustration plan and he sketched the illustration below, depicting the swimming competition scene from my story. I may not be the one who gets to decide who will be my illustrator, (publishers often make that call), but I would be interested in your opinions of his work.

About Me

We are all about our family and we love to do anything as long as we are together. We love the outdoors and live in Southern Utah because it is the "outdoors capitol" of the world! We have two married daughters, (Jill and Kim), Two sons and two daughters in college, (Trent, Mitch, Rachel, and Audrey). We also have one spoiled grandson, Carson and his sweet little sister, granddaughter Katelyn.