How I transformed from feeling ‘Handcuffed’​ to feeling ‘Completely Free’​

Have you ever felt sad and anxious internally even though everything looks very nice externally ?.

I experienced it in last few years …

An excellent professional career ,own houses and a loving family.

My Life looked so nice externally.

But Internally something was bothering me and making me sad and anxious every day.

Imagine an exciting and talented 100 m sprint runner who has won many races.

Now Imagine if this runner is handcuffed and asked to run.

How will he feel ?..What will happen ?

Frustration, pain , loss of momentum , tiredness are few of many things he will feel.

I felt the same…I felt handcuffed .

What caused this ?

It was the debt i had taken .I had taken Six loans.

Yes you read it correct ..Not one ..Not two …Six ……

Three Home loans, a Land Loan, an Education loan and a Car loan.

Was it foolishness on my part ?

OR

Was it lack of proper education in personal finance ?

I think it was both and I really wanted to come out of this ‘handcuffed’ set up.

With time, I closed four of the six loans and was left with two loans amounting to around Rs. 1, 15,000*( Rs 1.15 lakhs) of mortgage payments( EMI’s). Every month when Rs. 1.15 lakhs would be deducted from my account , i will get the ‘handcuffed’ feeling .

*1 lakh = 100,000

My wife and I had always thought of selling one of our three houses and use the amount to close the loans. But we never got around discussing it thoroughly and kept waiting for the ‘right time.’ Every time I will speak to my wife , We would end up delaying it by making one argument or the other ..’ Real estate market is bad’ or ‘What if we move to Hyderabad’ or ‘Hyderabad house is so beautiful and we have not stayed enough’.

More we delayed and more the pressure increased…In addition to mental stress, It also manifested physically when i started having severe pain in my legs.

Among all this , there was a good thing that at least I have personally become more ‘aware’ of the debt situation and wanted to come out of it. Universe responded to my intention in form of two friends.

In ‘Awaken the Millionaire within ’, Author advised a character in the book to take interest free loans from family members to close bank loans.

In ‘Zero Debt’, the author had to be admitted to the ICU under the crippling pressure of his eight loans.

Just a thought of ‘ICU’ made me shudder.

I did not want to be in that terrible position and I immediately decided to crush my debt.

I then analysed my two loans and found something that made me feel stupid , angry and sad . This feeling further strengthen my resolve to discuss this matter seriously with my wife.

I distinctly remember that Thursday ,Aug 9, 2018 was the day when things started changing . After finishing breakfast, I asked my wife

Ashi , Do you know how much loan we took for our Hyderabad house

Ashi immediately replied

Yes . Rs 40 lakhs .We took in 2009 .

Yes that’s correct Ashi. I recently found out that in last nine years we have paid around Rs 45 lakhs to the bank . Rs 15 lakhs has been adjusted against principal loan amount and Rs 30 lakhs has been adjusted as interest.

It means that our loan outstanding is still Rs 25 lakhs .

Ashi was completely shocked and with eyes wide open , she said

Whaaat ?..does it mean we have already paid more than 40 lakhs and still needs to pay 25 lakh ?

Myself : Yees …ashi

There was an uncomfortable silence because both of us were sad. We both were angry for not analyzing the situation earlier. We both felt a ‘strong feeling of loss’ when we realized that we have paid so much amount in interest and major part of our principal was still remaining. Questions came to our mind ‘ Why did we not made prepayments as we had the money ?’

There is a silver lining to every difficult situation. In this case , ‘sadness’ , ‘anger’ and ‘feeling of loss ‘ triggered us to take action.Unlike in the past ,We immediately decided to sell our house in Hyderabad.

I normally sleep daily around 9:30 pm . On Aug 10 , I was awake till midnight because I was posting sale advertisements on various online portals.I developed a strong intention of becoming free(selling the property) by Aug 15 , Indian Independence day. ‘Strong intention’ and metaphor of ‘ Indian Independence day ‘ worked wonders. I got many inquiries and finally a buyer finalized it in just 10 mins on Aug 12. I got the initial advance on Aug 13 and was ecstatic of finalzing the sale of the house before Aug 15. Power of intention coupled with action worked 🙂

Then , it took 2.5 months to finalize to complete the entire paperwork.

I paid for both of my loans using the amount obtained from sale of Hyderabad property .

On Oct 22 , I got the original property papers from the bank for closing the first loan .

On Nov 21 , I got the original property papers from the bank for closing the second loan. .

As i got the papers in my hand after closing the second loan , I felt my handcuffs have been finally broken and I am finally free………………….

An amazing sense of internal joy and well being filled every cell of my body.

And for this amazing feeling of freedom, I am grateful to my two friends( books) ‘Awaken the Millionaire within ’ and ‘Zero Debt’ I am also grateful to the authors of the these two wonderful books . They even found time in their busy schedule to speak to me and encourage me to Crush the debt. Thanks Subramanya ji.. Thanks Neeraj Bhai..

For the readers ,

In case you have don’t have debt or you have crushed the debt , Please accept my ‘Hearty Congratulations!’

In case you have debt and you are feeling the pain , I wish that these two books , two authors and this post inspire you to ‘Crush the Debt’…..