Tuesday, 19 April 2011

5 Trends You'll Regret

It’s ok, everyone tries to be fucking cool now and then.

By Kara ter Morsche

1. Shaving part of your hair off

Yes, it looked slightly cool for a minimal amount of time. Yes, it made girls with Malibu Barbie hair look slightly more edgy. Yes, it was an overly saturated and sheep-like trend that made you look more of a complacent wannabe than an individual. No, you won’t be enjoying the re-growth, those bizarre looking tufts sticking out of otherwise tumbling locks. Yes, you’ll be wearing your hair in one staple style to disguise it for years to come.

2. Sailor Tats

Swallows, boats, random scrawlings across your bony chest? Welcome, you have officially joined the wanker crowd. Again, a seemingly ‘cool’ idea, that gave you status amongst your friends as the one that didn’t give a shit about the future. But then, the future arrives. Funny that. Once the decades pass, so will the status of your tats. Don’t cry, you probably already have a tear tattooed by your eye for that.

3. Ear stretching

Erm, why? Just what kind of positive visual does anyone get from this? Other than getting some kind of sick sadistic pleasure from going up a plug size, this is utterly pointless. And from then on, your ear lobe will be peephole to your head. Anyone in there…

4. Liposuction

The lazy alternative to weight-loss, resulting in strange lumps and bumps Tara Reid style. More often than not, you’ll assume you don’t need to bother doing any exercise or dieting. Why would you, you’re already thin and awesome? But then as if like magic, the weight piles back on. Money. Drain.

5. Trepanning

The art of drilling a hole in ones head to allow more oxygen to the brain. Supposedly this helps you to think better; and perhaps releases your intelligence within. Definitely does not make you sound like a raving lunatic. And definitely does not give you a Frankenstein type appeal. Honest.