That, of course, was my response to Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio acting like this was the biggest mistake that Fox could ever make. Well, I was shamefully wrong, because we all should have known which network was going to bring a walking knock-knock joke back to NFL coverage for his hilarious anaylsis.

I have a theory, now, that ESPN makes hires like this and allows Jon Gruden to remain in the Monday Night Football booth, gloriously blowing terrible quarterbacks, while declaring that J.J. Watts belongs in the Hall of Fame after only 21 career games, because it takes our hatred away from guys like Skip Bayless, Chris Berman and Stephen A. Smith, and allows us to spread out our contempt so we don’t just overwhelm our focus on one guy. Therefore, the network’s reps can always respond, “Well hey, at least he’s not Caliendo.”

Or, perhaps the more obvious theory – ESPN just f*cking hates us. And the network keeps making decisions like this because “F*ck you, that’s why”. Why else would the WWL try to lock up Gruden to an extension so he won’t go back to coaching? Because “F*ck you, that’s why”. So just don’t be surprised when we’re introduced to a new segment called “Berman on Berman” with Berman and Caliendo screaming, “WHOOP!” at each other for 5 minutes, while a disclaimer reads: “Hey, at least it’s not Darren Rovell.”

Hey, I like Stephen A. Smith. Granted, I’m pretty close to a know-nothing about basketball and that’s his forte, so his opinions don’t bother me as much as I assume they would bother a basketball guy like Burnsy.

I live in St. Paul, and he’s in town tonight and tomorrow night (SOLD OUT) to do shows at Acme Comedy Club in MPLS (not an ad), which means he was an in-studio guest on KFAN’s “Power Trip Morning Show” (also not an ad) while I was driving to work.

As someone who has actively avoided acknowledging his previous work, it was eye-opening to me how exhausting he is to listen to. He does a Jon Gruden bit now (because of course he does), and it must be new to him, because he didn’t stop doing it for about 30 straight minutes. And hey–you know who got to talk about the Timberwolves? Charles Barkley!

Brandon–per Caliendo, at least as of this morning, he doesn’t do Madden anymore. What ills hath society wrought upon him that he takes from us like that? Of course, I’m certain that will change by this evening, if it didn’t already by 08:45.