Even Professor Piterberg Kind Of Surprised He Got His Old Job Back

Piterberg: “Shouldn’t there be like, consequences for that sort of thing?”

WESTWOOD—After returning to campus with very few repercussions for the sexual harassment he committed two years earlier, Professor Piterberg recently announced that even he is sort of surprised he was allowed to return to the same position he held in UCLA’s history department before the investigation. “I mean, after both of my TAs filed formal complaints, I kind of thought, ‘Game over, they got me!’ but they suspended the Title IX investigation and then just kind of let me back,” Piterberg said as he looked through the photo album documenting the trip to Europe he took during his ten-week suspension. “It’s not like I just looked at those girls funny or something. I literally forced my tongue in their mouths. But whatever, if UCLA’s willing to let it slide, I guess I’ll play along!” Upon further questioning, Piterberg added that the biggest challenge he has faced since returning to school is having to keep his office door open whenever he meets with students.