Those who know me would agree that I am cool, calm, and collected, although not in that order. It takes quite a bit to razzle me and get me out of sync with my inner harmony. No matter what happens, I can always find something to amuse me and to laugh it

Those who know me would agree that I am cool, calm, and collected,
although not in that order. It takes quite a bit to razzle me and get
me out of sync with my inner harmony. No matter what happens, I can
always find something to amuse me and to laugh it off. I am just that
kind of guy.
I must confess that, while that is mostly true, I did have an incident
this past week that threw all of that out of the window. That is what I
get for leaving my window down!
The week started out as normal. Mondays are usually my down day. After a
full weekend of preparation and ministry, I need one day to really
chill out and get my wits about me re-collected. On Mondays, I do not
wish to do anything or see anybody or go anywhere. My motto for Monday
is simply, just don't call me!
I have one rule for Monday and that is it is impossible to oversleep.
Whenever I wake up on Monday is when I get up. If ever the Gracious
Mistress of the Parsonage set the alarm clock for Monday morning, she
will have to deal with a grouchy old geezer with an unpleasant
attitude. I am sorry, that is the way life is.
On this particular Monday when I finally awakened, the first thing I
noticed was that my wife had already left the house. Out in the kitchen
the coffee had been brewed and waiting for my consumption. There was a
nice bowl of oatmeal ready just for me.
Life cannot get any better than that! I only wish there were more
Mondays in the week. I think when the Beatles sang that song, “Eight
Days a Week,” they were referring to two Mondays.
I fixed my coffee, got my oatmeal ready and proceeded into the living
room where I could set in my easy chair and watch a little bit of
television for as long as I could stay awake. Nothing is quite as nice
as a Monday with nothing to do and nobody to bother you while you are
doing it.
I got situated and took a nice sip of delicious coffee and then
proceeded to turn on the television. That is when my Monday exploded.
I could not turn the TV on; something was wrong with the service.
Usually at times like this, my wife takes care of the situation and
resolves the problem. Here I was all on my own and I needed to step up
and take care of business.
I distinctly remember one occasion when my wife had to face such a
situation and she would call the TV service. She would speak to some
people there and in a few moments (after some rather angry screeching),
the problem was solved. So I decided to do the same thing, minus the
screeching.
When was the last time you called a tech person to help you solve a
problem with your TV and Internet service? Therefore, you know what I
am about to get into. It is something worse than Rod Sterling's The
Twilight Zone.
I called the number associated with our TV and Internet service and that
is when the games began.
One of my problems is that I can remember “the day” when you talked to a
live person. Someone actually living and breathing and living in your
own country. How was I to know that the service technicians were
somewhere in the hills of India?
After punching 2,743 numbers on my phone, I finally got somebody.
Actually, it was not really somebody; it was a recording telling me
that I was 47th in line waiting for the technician. According to my
calculation, it would take me 29 Mondays to get to talk to a live,
breathing technician.
By the time I was connected to a live technician, I had completely lost
my cool and was close to not being collected.
One of the problems I faced was trying to explain to this technician
what my problem was. The next problem was to understand what he was
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