Love Equals Survival Says Portland Marriage Counselor

As a Portland marriage counselor I hear a great deal about love. Couples talk about everything from, “We love each other but we fight all the time”, to “I don’t love him/her any more”. But what is love? How would you define the word? Is it the romantic rush of energy that you feel when you meet the “right person”, which later wanes? Or is it a verb; a decision followed by thousands of actions?

Biology, not a highly romantic field, tells us that love is in fact the most compelling survival mechanism of humans. Love is the emotion that drives us to bond emotionally with a small group of loved ones who will give us security and safety during the hard times and lend meaning to the good. In my three decades of marriage counseling in Portland I have come to believe that this is true. Love for a romantic partner is the strongest emotional bond that we have and provides a secure attachment to another who will hold us tight when we are feeling insecure, will tend to us when we are ill and pick us up when we fall down.

In my job as a marriage counselor in Portland I see that couples struggle to keep that safe emotional connection intact. All of the bickering can lead to a bitterness that breaks the connection. Without the connection couples feel disillusioned and despairing. If you find yourself arguing more than laughing and hugging, it is crucial that you learn some simple tools to preserve your strong emotional bond. Check out our marriage counselors at Portland Relationship Center. We can help.