Monday, May 10, 2004

Les Miserables Parody

This was (ahem) inspired by one of the bumper stickers at Shrine of the Holy Whapping: "Say the black, do the red." I thought "Black... red... red... black - Hey!" Here and here are the original lyrics. I wish I could find sound files, but most of you probably know the tunes - which are sooooooo cool!

RED AND BLACK (at the (N)OCP Café)

ENJORLAS
It is time for us all
To decide who we are
Do we fight for the right
To a night at the opera now?
Have you asked of yourselves
What's the price you might pay?
Is it simply a game
For liturgists to play?
They screw up all the rubrics
Keep them changing day by day…

MARIUS
Had you been at Mass tonight
You might know how it feels
To be struck to the bone
With a cold and unutterable dread -
You'd have rather been dead
Than hear the 'songs' that they intoned,
And the rubrics' sense deranged
"It's Kafka-esque!" I said.
"Let's go home. I need a drink -
No, I need aspirin for my head!"

ALL
Red…

Marius
I sit and kneel and stand!

ALL
Black…

Marius
"I believe in unum Deum!"

ALL
Red…

Marius
Keep your missal close at hand!

ALL
Black…

Marius
Though hell-spawned liturgists betray 'em!

And moving right along...

DO YOU HEAR THE CATHOLICS SING

ENJOLRAS
Do you hear the Catholics sing?
Singing polyphony and chant?
It is the music of a people
Who have thrown out trendy cant!
When the choirs all agree:
"Tra le sollicitudini!"
Our hymns and chants will sound
And resound again!

COMBEFERRE
Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the altar rail
Is there a world you long to see?

COURFEYRAC:
Then join in the fight
That will bring back the rite of the free!

ALL
Do you hear the Catholics sing?
Singing Gesualdo and Des Pres?
It is the music of a people
Come to shining Solesmes!
When the Haugens hit the road
And Palestrina marches in
Our hymns and chants will sound
And resound again!

FEUILLY
Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance
Against Vosko, Mahoney,
RENEW and liturgical daaaaaaaance?

ALL
Do you hear the Catholics sing?
Singing Victoria and Byrd?
It is the music of our people
It will no more go unheard!
When the OCP is out
Our Te Deums will begin -
Our hymns and chants will sound
And resound again!