My Liebster Award (NB – not an actual award)

For those that aren’t in the know, (like myself before yesterday) The Liebster Award is a social experiment aimed at promoting known and unknown bloggers through a Q&A tag.

Here’s some general guidelines to follow:
1) Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you and display the award.
2) Answer the eleven questions the blogger gives you.
3) Give eleven random facts about yourself.
4) Nominate eleven bloggers that you think are deserving of this award.
5) Let the bloggers know you have nominated them.
6) Give them eleven questions to answer.

2) What’s the last book you read, and was it any good? I haven’t read anything for ages as my children are not fans of me having peace. If they see me trying to read or do something I want to do in general they’re right up in my grill. I used to love anything by Philippa Gregory. They’re all great.

3) What’s your one must have baby product? Nappies. We’d be in the shit without them ??

4) What’s your favourite season? Summer. We bloody love picnics. And not having to piss about with the absolute ball ache that is coats and car seats ??

5) You’ve got two unprecedented childless hours. What do you do? Cry tears of pure joy before having a lovely long nap with no one touching me. Then have a HOT bath with no one touching me. Then if there’s enough time, paint my nails without hearing ‘YOU’LL DO MINE NOW MUMMY!’

6) What’s your one desert island survival item? I was going to say flint so I could light a fire as I’m a twat. I asked Dan what he’d take and he said ‘the Internet’ – fucking GENIOUS – I could google how to do everything. Perhaps a bloody big knife would be a better idea – or a radio so I could call for help? I’d totally die of starvation – it’d take about a month as I’m relatively large haha

7) Favourite Spice Girl? This is far too difficult! Pass.

8) What’s been your worst job? Cutting the rotten bits out of potatoes in a crisp factory ? It was beer money at the time but I didn’t last long.

9) Does swearing denote a higher level of intelligence? Yes it fucking well does. I’m a cocking genius with a shitting high iq. Twatting clever bollocks me.

10) What’s more scary, spiders or clowns? Tough one! I’ll go for spiders as Aragog assaulted me when I was putting the washing away earlier – I nearly shat myself!

11) You find £4 in change in the self-service checkout coin dispenser. Do you swipe it? Ok, if I saw the person it belonged to walking away I’d call them back and give them it. If there was no sign I’d take it as a gift from the gods and buy sweets for the kids with it. I’ll probably go to hell for it. As I’d totally share the sweets hahah

11 random facts about me:

1. I’ve sang for the Queen.

2. I achieved a Purple Sash in Kung Fu as a child.

3. I attempted to climb Mont Blanc.

4. I have experienced altitude sickness.

5. I have spewed on Mont Blanc.

6. I have freckles on my right arm that resemble a smily face.

7. I can roll my tongue.

8. I’m a qualified nail tech that never does her nails.

9. I can’t dance even if my life depended on it as I have zero rhythm.

10. I sang with the Commitments once, but sounded like Bridget Jones as I was pissed.

11. I’ve witnessed Mark Lamar being shown the testicle of the fellow that was the best man at our wedding. It was a 45 minute debacle that made him run and hide.