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So I had to go to the bank, and I knew things were going wrong before I got there because I could feel my nipple at least one and then later two rubbing against my sweatshirt. Of course I did wear my stupidest of all bras, it was a gift from that couple and I have been missing him, and our play, but still I realized I had put on weight when I couldn’t fit in it and was bouncing out of the top.

The young Chinese man that helped me, didn’t help things as he was clearly staring at part of me that is not my eyes. It is weird, these moments, my cheeks flush with shame, but at the same time, my pussy is drenching my jeans, my brains says drop to your knees and suck him off, my brain says fix this you shameless stupid whore and hide your titties away, my back arches just enough to be slightly painful. My mouth says, “I need to use your restroom”

I realized I had been putting on weight, which makes sense as I have liked titty fucking more than usual. All things titty more than usual. So then I had to masturbate in the bathroom stall, because for some reason humiliation and sex are all tied up together, that and my pussy was demanding attention.
Then I went home all quiet, but I was rewarded. I will write about that the next time I have a chance, I usually don’t have privacy on the weekends. But I will say, after watching some of my party videos, I do think natural tits bounce way better than fake ones.

oh fits me in the waist and hurts my tits. Of course makes me weird and horny as well.

I mean who doesnt love a man burying his face in your tits? I mean I am supposed to not like this? So I know I do stupid confusing things, but isn’t getting attention confusing? Isn’t this the closest thing I know to love? This makes me a bad person? What is a good person then?

So of course the guy I totally didn’t want to fuck at the party, who wouldn’t let me sleep at the end of it all, ends up being the guy I fuck the most on going. It always seems to work like that. I swear I will stop the sex-work, I swear I won’t fuck that guy and well, some time I will stop hiding out at the places I swear I will.

So I keep promising myself I will stop, especially stop sitting on fat old men’s laps and letting them suck me until I squeal. But I keep squealing. Then all is lost. I did have fun, the music was loud, there were lights, strobe lights. It is so lame that they got all pissy when it first started and I took one picture, and they took my camera/phone whatever away because they all took pictures. At one point, when I still had my cowboy hat on I was holding on to this pipe thing, I don’t know, some thing, close to the ceiling, and this man was inside me, from behind, holding me up. I did squeal a bit, I only squeal, never talk, and my tits were bouncing because someone made a comment and then I looked down and all I saw were i-phones. All I felt were hands and mouths. I was happy but then I felt shy and then I am sure it was my uncle directing as he was calling me lazy, he always calls me lazy when it is hard to get in me, he says I am not cooperating. Then I was giggling and scooting away, and then I was stopped with a cock in my mouth and the music was so loud, my pigtails were being pulled on, but of course, the cum is when they want it. Open your eyes, I do, we will frost you cupcake, I laugh, I drink a bowl, but at the end it is only when they want me. I don’t want to want them, but I do a bump, I put some coke in my pussy, I take a strangers dick in my mouth. Look at me, they say, I smile, and look. See, I would like to have some of that film, but they will act like it never happened and fap, fap, fap

I was most excellent though for that one moment, with my pink cowboy hat still on, my pigtails still in. My small squeals…the hands grabbing me, pulling me down, holding my tits, directing me who to suck off. I felt so soft. I wish there had been another girl there, Idk, there is something so funny and sexy to me watching boobies bounce, and also seeing some girl just get it from all sides, but I need to see it, when I just am, it, when I am just getting frosted, tossed around, called a lazy fuck-pig because I am small, it is not the same. I am not lazy.

that was a funny but ouch!

See, and all the others get the video of me being a cowgirl. Unfair, I know I was awesome

So I have been very good as of late, but then I let this ‘friend’ of mine talk me into a favor. He is a salesman, and was going to try to entertain what he told me were two grandpas from out of town and it was no thing, etc. etc.

Which honestly, it wasn’t a big thing, I didn’t like the one grandpa so much, and he failed to mention the grandsons, but the one I did like, and of course I needed some generosity. So I showed up, like I promised in a small white shirt and a little plaid skirt without undies. I went up to their room, they were from Israel, so naturally, like to humiliate blonde girls. Hairy and chubby. But weirdly for a while have gotten off on sitting on hairy chubby old guys, having some kind of early experience redux fantasy.

So I was having fun, sitting on grandpa number 1, letting him chomp on me like I don’t know, very chompy titties, rubbing his hands up my skirt, nom nom nom. Grandpa 2 was not so fun. Totally fascinated not with me, but what he could stick in my ass, hotel pen, etc. Way more into kink, domination, wanted to take me from Grandpa one and be super weird. Which happened way faster than I was ready for.

Grandpa2 was also very into recording me and look at me, look at me, open her blue eyes, slapping his dick around my face, which wasn’t even hard. I wanted to stay with Grandpa 1 and play around but he was more passive than Grandpa 2, and in no time they had me tied against the bed. Which I knew was part of the deal, they didn’t tie my legs though, just my arms and then the ass thing again. But he wanted to take pictures of my face which was weird, oh and make me bounce, oh the fat titties bounce. Then the three nephews–

I don’t think they were really nephews, but they were not weird like Grandpa 2, by my face, making me look at him the whole time, so he could record me with his phone. Super into humiliating me. They were just normal guys wanting to fuck, only the first one was so big he brought tears to my eyes, but not so bad, or unusual for me, I clench too much, then I learn to adjust.

They actually seemed really quick, but then I had not eaten all day. The first I naturally remember most. I squealed, I love that part, but I could tell he wanted me to stop, Grandpa 2 liked that and made sure he recorded that. I kind of passed out at the end of 3. Then Grandpa 2 wanted to stick the hotel pen in my ass again. No one else was that kinky. I didn’t get that much cum on me. at the end of it all, Grandpa 2 was making every one record me with their phones while he made my tits shake. In a way, it was somewhat disappointing.

Then Grandpa 2 untied me, while Grandpa 1 just sat there all lazy like stroking himself. He had nephew one, the biggest take me from behind while the other nephews hit their dicks playfully against my face while he tried to get himself and Grandpa 1 to take pictures, although Grandpa one seemed more into rubbing his dick and not caring. I did scream esp. when nephew 1 went where Grandpa 2 liked his hotel pen, on grandpa 2’s direction. I don’t know. Something gets lost though when Grandpa 2 is making everything not so sexy.

He finally did get Nephew 1 to come on my face, but then made me say it was him, Grandpa 2 and thank him by name in his stupid i-phone. Grandpa 2 wants me to visit him again.

Maybe. The nice thing about being tied up is you feel so free from responsibility. I feel like I should be upset about how many recorded sex acts I have been a party to, but I don’t. A lot at this point. It reminds me a bit of when I entertained the Germans with the rhinestone collar. Idk.

Are really not that bad, I mean depending on who is conducting. My exs friend Tim of well, slept with him when we I was with my ex guy, which isn’t that specific, but have been letting him get me to entertain. It’s not that bad, he isn’t all controlling. Plus what haven’t I already done? Plus he gets my weird fetish about old fat guy sucking on me a bit. It is not that bad. Just sitting on someone’s lap for awhile. Although I do hope I get over it soon as it kind of sicks me out.