Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Most mornings Cary is calling out to me long before I reach the barn. I still greet her with a bottle of milk, and once she has sucked it down, and the rest of sheep have been counted and are headed down the gravel drive in search of breakfast, we give Donkey Doodle Dandy his morning treat and tend to any barn chores.

Then we meander out to the front field together to find the sheep. We stand among them while I breathe in the beautiful scenery and slowly look everyone over and Cary nibbles on grass. The sheep are always busily eating in a way that manages to be at once frantic and serene.

This morning, after assuring myself that everything was right, I continued to walk past the flock toward the next field, checking behind me to make sure Cary was following along. She wasn't. She was several yards back, standing among a group of sheep, happily grazing.

I called her name, and she looked up and gave me a small "Maaaa!" bleat in return. Then she went back to eating, her actions clearly saying, "I know you're leaving, but I'm supposed to stay here."

And that is as it should be.

As I continued to walk along without her, I thought about how much less affectionate she has become, how for the most part she has turned away from me and toward her flock. And just as the words and that is as it should be played through my head once again, I looked down and saw a beautiful heart rock unlike any other in my collection. I picked it up and slipped it into my pocket, rubbing my fingers along its smooth surface, grasping its weight in my hand, feeling its physical presence.

Cary isn't rejecting me; she's simply growing up, as all little lambs must do. I had no idea I would be so affected by this. But I do know that I will always be in her heart, and she will of course always have mine.

And that is as it should be.

Want to get to know Cary better? You'll find lots more photos of her here.

42 comments:

In some ways I am sorry Cary has grown up so fast. I have enjoyed her stories as she has grown from limping baby to full grown ewe. Finding your heart rock may be a "sign" of change being as they should be? I do hope so. It is a beautiful heart -- but then you have a beautiful farm and heart of your own.

Damn! You're entry today put tears in my eyes. Maybe I'm relating to the fact that my kids are now all on the other side of their teenage years and I sort of miss them like that...dunno. But it had me all misty for a while.

Oh Susan, you've made me tear up! (In a sentimental way, and not the first time)It's so sad that Cary is growing up...but at the same time it's a success story. You've been a wonderful "maaaah".My tears come from remembering my bucket calf, "Baby Moo" (I never could come up with a fitting enough proper name)...I went through the same thing with her. She turned into a bottle-sucking healthy mama cow (one of our top 5!), but of course became distant as time went on. I had to leave her behind in my divorce, and that just broke my heart. Should've gone for visitation rights. (haha!)Thanks again for sharing your stories with the world!

Oh Susan, I hate you sometimes. I'm now sat here with tears on my chin.

I have a heart shaped rock here on my desk, picked up from our beach on the morning we heard of that terrible shooting at an Amish schoolhouse. Ironically it has a hole straight through the middle and I thought of the many hearts broken that day.

Glad to see Cary is more well adjusted than me! She may yet be back at that screen door when the weather turns! XX

Oh Susan, I hate you sometimes. I'm now sat here with tears on my chin.

I have a heart shaped rock here on my desk, picked up from our beach on the morning we heard of that terrible shooting at an Amish schoolhouse. Ironically it has a hole straight through the middle and I thought of the many hearts broken that day.

Glad to see Cary is more well adjusted than me! She may yet be back at that screen door when the weather turns! XX

What a great story. I also grew up on a farm. We had sheep cats, dogs peacock and chickens galore. You tug at the heartstrings alright. Keep up the great stories..by the way I added your blog to my list. So I can enjoy more of these wonderful stories.

Yup, you made me cry. I'm a sucker for animal stories. It's sad to see Cary growing up but also amazing and wonderful. I don't have children but I imagine it's how every parent feels--sadness and happiness all in one. I love Cary and I only get to read about him. Jane

I have tears in my eyes! It's like how I felt about my sons when they finally grew up and moved away. They weren't rejecting me, but making a new life for themselves. Every mother goes through this. It doesn't matter if your baby is a lambie or not.

Ah - Bless you both - Cary doing what God designed her to do - be a lamb and you doing what you were designed to do - be a joy to so many readers! Having animals is a cool responsibility - we lost a young doe goat last week to a predator and amazed at how we miss seeing little Glory running across the front pastures with the other young goatkin. Hey Cary - live it up - you've got that human wrapped around your lanolin rich little ears!

Sometimes it soothes the soul to find that one special sign that tells us things are as they should be and all is right in our own little corner of the world.P.S. Have you ever read the children's book OUR ANIMAL FRIENDS AT MAPLE HILL FARM?

amWell now you've gone and done it again....made me tear up! Isn't it sad that the only thing we can count on is change....I know people say "that's as it should be" but that doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.

That brought tears to my eyes...I have been there done that and boy time sure does fly...we must remember to be in our moments when they happen because yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come...now is all we have (and our memories)

One of the visitors to by blog, Britt-Arnhild's House in the Woods, sent me over here to look at one of your heart images, after reading my "heartprints"-post:http://brittarnhildshouseinthewoods.typepad.com/brittarnhilds_house_in_th/2006/11/heartprints.htmlI love your blog.

December 2015 update: Hi! For some reason I can't figure out, Blogger hasn't been letting me leave comments on my own blog (!) for the last several months, so I've been unable to respond to your comments and questions. My apologies for any inconvenience! You're always welcome to email me: farmgirlfare AT gmail DOT com.

Hi! Thanks for visiting Farmgirl Fare and taking the time to write. While I'm not always able to reply to every comment, I receive and enjoy reading them all.

Your feedback is greatly appreciated, and I especially love hearing about your experiences with my recipes. Comments on older posts are always welcome!

Please note that I moderate comments, so if I'm away from the computer it may be a while before yours appears.

I try my best to answer all questions, though sometimes it takes me a few days. And sometimes, I'm sorry to say, they fall through the cracks, and for that I sincerely apologize.

I look forward to hearing from you and hope you enjoy your e-visits to our farm!