43 Things Actually Said in Job Interview

“I’m not wanted in this state.”

“How many young women work here?”

“I didn’t steal it; I just borrowed it.”

“You touch somebody and they call it sexual harassment!”

“I’ve never heard such a stupid question.”

Believe it or not, the above statements weren’t overhead in bars or random conversations — they were said in job interviews.

Maybe you were nervous, you thought the employer would appreciate your honesty, or maybe you just have no boundaries. Whatever the reason, you can be certain that you shouldn’t tell an interviewer that it’s probably best if they don’t do a background check on you. (And yes, the hiring manager remembered you said that.)

We asked hiring managers to share the craziest things they’ve heard from applicants in an interview. Some are laugh-out-loud hysterical, others are jaw dropping — the majority are both. To be sure, they will relieve anyone who has ever said something unfortunate at a job interview — and simply amuse the rest of you.

Hiring managers shared these 43 memorable interview responses:

Why did you leave your last job?

1. “I have a problem with authority.” – Carrie Rocha, COO of HousingLink

Tell us about a problem you had with a co-worker and how you resolved it2. “The resolution was we were both fired.”- Jason Shindler, CEO, Curvine Web Solutions

What kind of computer software have you used?3. “Computers? Are those the black boxes that sit on the floor next to the desks? My boss has one of those. He uses it. I don’t have one. He just gives me my schedule and I follow it.” – Greg Szymanski, director of human resources, Geonerco Management, Inc

What are your hobbies and interests?4. [He said] ‘Well, as you can see, I’m a young, virile man and I’m single — if you ladies know what I’m saying.’ Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, ‘I particularly like blondes.‘” – Petri R.J. Darby, president, darbyDarnit Public Relations

Why should we hire you?5. “I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time.” – Bill McGowan, founder, Clarity Media Group

Do you have any questions?6. “Cross dressing isn’t a problem is it?” – Barry Maher, Barry Maher & Associates

7. “If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?” – Megan Garnett, Articulate Leadership Team, Articulate Communications Inc.

8. “What do you want me to do if I cannot walk to work if it’s raining? Can you pick me up?” – Christine Pechstein, career coach

10. “Can we wrap this up fairly quickly? I have someplace I have to go.” – Bruce Campbell, vice president of marketing, Clare Computer Solutions

11. “What is your company’s policy on Monday absences?” – Campbell

12. “If this doesn’t work out can I call you to go out sometime?” – Christine Bolzan, founder of Graduate Career Coaching

13. “How big do the bonuses really get once you make associate? I hear it’s some serious cash.” – Bolzan

14. “[The candidate asked,] ‘Can my dad call you to talk about the job and the training program? He is really upset I’m not going to medical school and wants someone to explain the Wall Street path to him.‘ The dad did call. Then that dad’s friends called and I ended up doing a conference call with a group of concerned parents … long story.” – Bolzan

15. “If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?” – Bolzan

16. “When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?” – Bolzan

17. “Can I get a tour of the breast pumping room? I heard you have a great one here and while I don’t plan on having children for at least 10 or 12 years, I will definitely breast feed and would want to use that room.”- Bolzan

18. “So, how much do they pay you for doing these interviews?” – Jodi R.R. Smith, Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting

24. “My old boss didn’t like me, so one day, I just left and never came back. And here I am!” – Matt Cowall, communications manager, Appia Communications

What are your assets? (as in strengths)26. “Well, I do own a bike.” – Pam Venné, principal, The Venné Group

What are your weaknesses?27. “I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won’t get mad at you.” – Pechstein

28. “I had a job candidate tell me that she often oversleeps and has trouble getting out of bed in the morning.” – Linda Yaffe, certified executive coach

29. “I am an alcoholic and do not deserve this job.” – Deb Bailey, owner, Power Women Magazine & Radio Show

30. “I’m really not a big learner. You know … some people love learning and are always picking up new things, but that’s just not me. I’d much rather work at a place where the job is pretty stagnant and doesn’t change a lot.” – Michaele Charles, Voice Communications

When have you demonstrated leadership skills?31. “Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming. I pretty much run the show; it takes a lot to do that.” – Rachel Croce

Is there anything else I should know about you?32. “You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends.” – Venne

When can you start?33. “I need to check with my mom on that one.” – Bolzan

Use three adjectives to describe yourself34. “I hate questions like this.” – Katrina Meistering, manager of outreach, National Fatherhood Initiative

Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it35. “I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.” – Meistering

Have you submitted your two weeks’ notice to your current employer?36. “What is two weeks’ notice? I’ve never quit a job before, I’ve always been fired.” – Meistering

Random responses37. “One guy [said] ‘it would probably be best’ if I didn’t run a background check on him. Of course, I did, and learned all about his long, sordid past of law-breaking. Our client actually offered him a job as a staff accountant, but quickly retracted the offer when I had to tell them all about his recent arrest for a meth lab in his basement.” – Charles

38. “[A] guy said he did not have a mailing address, as he was living in a gypsy camp at the airport.” – Sandra L. Flippo, SPHR

39. “I went into the lobby to pick up a candidate. As he stood up, his trousers fell to the floor! [He said] ‘Oh, my gosh — they told me I needed a suit for the interview. I’ve got no money — so I borrowed this thing. It’s too big!‘” – Beth Ross, executive and career coach

40. “Wow — I’m not used to wearing dress shoes! My feet are killing me. Can I show you these bloody blisters?” – Bolzan

41. “May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night.” – Smith

42. (During a telephone call to schedule the interview) “Can we meet next month? I am currently incarcerated.” – Smith

43. “[A candidate] was asked whether he could advocate impartially on behalf of the various universities he would be representing since he had attended one of them. He responded, ‘Well, I don’t like to poop where I eat, but I thought my education sucked, so I certainly wouldn’t put that school above the others.'” – Darby

We all have our favorite. Some say Elvis was “the King” and Michael Jackson was “the King of Pop.” The Beatles don’t have a catchy name and they are not one person. For that reason alone, I hate that they are compared to Elvis and MJ.

The Beatles shaped my childhood. When I was about 9 or 10 I got the double red and blue albums of best songs. I was hooked. My best friend and I collected everything we could about the Beatles. We each had our favorite. Hers was always Paul, mine was always Ringo. However, it was John Lennon who inspired us the most and it was George Harrison that we saw in concert in 1974.

George Harrison, Chicago 1974

I still have the scrapbook-type items I saved from the early ’70’s. Unfortunately, I didn’t know to save the whole magazine and just cut out the articles I liked. I also have all the newspaper clippings from George Harrison’s 1974 Tour. 30 years later I saw Paul McCartney.

Paul McCartney, San Jose 2005

The music catalog that Lennon-McCartney created is like none other. Happy songs, sad songs, brilliant songs, funny songs, political songs, oh, and they did love songs too. The Beatle’s music IS the background of my life. “Twist and Shout” is my favorite song to dance to and “Blackbird” was the song I sang to sooth my baby to sleep.

While searching for information on Michael Jackson owning the Beatle Catalog, this post from NPR asked the same question I did. Now that Michael Jackson has passed, will Paul McCartney get the rights to his songs back?

The Beatles Catalog And Michael Jackson

by Robin Hilton

Earlier this year, the British tabloid The Daily Mirror reported that Michael Jackson had drawn up a will, giving the publishing rights to some 250 Beatles songs back to Sir Paul McCartney. Though a number of other sites were quick to report the news, The Mirror cited unnamed sources, and the reports have never been verified. Now, with Jackson’s passing, the question is very much up in the air.

For those who don’t remember or never knew, Jackson and McCartney recorded a couple of hits together back in the ’80s, “Say, Say, Say” and “The Girl Is Mine.”

The two struck up a friendship. At some point, according to some accounts, McCartney reportedly told Jackson how he’d made a lot of money by owning the publishing rights to other people’s music. This inspired Jackson to start his own side business of buying, selling and distributing publishing rights to numerous artists. When the Beatles catalog, which was owned by ATV Music Publishing, came up for sale, McCartney initially said he wasn’t interested in buying it because it was too expensive. McCartney eventually changed his mind and attempted to persuade Yoko Ono to join him in a bid for the music, but she declined. In the end, Jackson purchased the catalog for $47.5 million dollars. McCartney, according to the Mirror, said ‘The annoying thing is I have to pay to play some of my own songs. Each time I want to sing ‘Hey Jude’ I have to pay.

It’s hard to separate fact from fiction in this 25 year-old story. But according to the Associated Press, McCartney issued a statement today saying “I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy man with a gentle soul. His music will be remembered forever and my memories of our time together will be happy ones.”

‘Dying’ Jacko to leave Macca £350million Beatles rights in will.

MICHAEL Jackson hopes to bury his 24-year feud with Sir Paul McCartney – by leaving his share of the Beatles back catalogue to him in his will.

Macca was furious when Jacko outbid him in 1985 to win ownership of the £350million publishing rights to the whole Lennon-McCartney songbook.

The stars, once good pals who collaborated on early 80s hits The Girl is Mine and Say, Say, Say have not spoken since.

But the debt-ridden King of Pop, now said to be battling a serious genetic lung disease, is determined to make peace with McCartney.

Jackson, 50, who according to some reports is convinced he is dying and has been using a wheelchair, has drawn up a new will where Sir Paul, 66, will inherit control of his share of the Beatles songbook if the troubled star dies before him.

Sources close to Jacko say he has always regretted falling out with Macca. One insider said: “Michael is worried about his health so decided it was time to look at his finances.

“Most of his estate has been divided up between his three children. But Michael told his lawyers he was sad he no longer talks to Sir Paul and said he wanted to make things right.”

The source added: “Michael is suffering serious back and leg pain and has for a few years. He gets spasms in his back which means he spends a lot of time in bed and a wheelchair.

“He weighs just over seven stone and is very frail. He’s also had a nasty bout of emphysema and there have been reports he has another lung disease.”

Jacko sold half of his Beatles back catalogue rights to Sony in 1995, but still makes about £40million a year from them.

Macca said recently: “The annoying thing is I have to pay to play some of my own songs. Each time I want to sing Hey Jude I have to pay.”

Last night a source close to Sir Paul said: “If Michael Jackson was to give back the song rights in his will then Macca would be delighted.”

Michael Jackson’s spokesman has officially denied the star believes he is dying.