Fedor Tapped Out

Now that the Yankee Mutant Ninja Turtles have been eliminated from the World Cup, we can pretend to stop enjoying soccer and focus on the more traditional sports in America. Like MMA. Feder Emilianenko hadn’t lost a fight in ten years or thereabouts, so I guess he was due to just walk into an armbar against, if I can read the card here, Fabricio Werdum, who shocked the world Saturday after forcing the Russian polar bear to tap out. I don’t know if that’s really Fedor’s nickname, but I’m just gonna go with it.

Now there’s a lot of discussion about whether there will be a rematch, but really, I’m done with Fedor. He dodged the UFC and now he doesn’t have much equity to stand on. He’s ugly, uncharismatic, and technically boring. It’s like watching the Tonya Harding sex tape. Watch the full fight after the jump, provided it’s still on the net.

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You can say what you want about Fedor, but for anyone to ever call him “boring” just shows you haven’t seen one of his fights outside of this one and are just trying to jump in with your own unfounded opinion. No one in their right mind has ever called a Fedor fight boring.

I understand your first brush with MMA was probably when Brock Lesnar decided to come over from your beloved WWE. However, for those of us who have been watching MMA since UFC 1, I’d just like to say your’re a complete f* moron if you think Fedor is boring. Or are you just trying to fit both of Dana White’s nuts in your mouth at the same time?

By: Vince Mancini

06.28.2010 @ 12:15 PM

Random grammar note: I’ve read Fedor’s name is actually pronounced “FYO-dor Yemel-YAN-enko.” My question: since Russia has a different alphabet, when we’re translating their names into our alphabet, why don’t we just spell the shit phonetically? Same with Chinese. Oh, you’re saying “Tsingtao” is pronounced “Ching Dow”? Well how ’bout we spell that shit Ching Dow then, smart ass. I don’t get it.

By: TomahawkFlop

06.28.2010 @ 12:22 PM

Which one’s Fedor?

By: TomahawkFlop

06.28.2010 @ 12:23 PM

Oh, I get it, some guy got his head faced on another guy’s nuts and he didn’t like it, so he quit.

By: Erswi

06.28.2010 @ 12:25 PM

Yeah! What Vince said. Like those freakin WOPS wit dere Aiellos and Giordanos and Catalanottos! Hey!

By: NumberJohnny5

06.28.2010 @ 12:30 PM

You gotta be careful calling Fedor boring with all the nut huggers around here. Fedor hasnt fought anyone of note since he fought Cro Cop in 2005, so of course his fights are boring. He fought a man with a glass jaw (Arlovski), 2 out of shape heavyweights (Sylvia and Rogers)and an old man (Coleman).

I thought Fedor was that guy who killed himself flying off the luge before the Olympics.

By: Latress on the Menjay

06.28.2010 @ 12:45 PM

THANK YOU JOHNNY 5!! Saved me a bunch of typing. Don’t forget about Hong Man Choi (career 2-3 and one of those wins was against Jose Canseco), A washed up Matt Lindland and Mark Hunt. No doubt that Fedor can fight but the claims of him being the top heavyweight have been laughable for years now. Sure he beat Minotauro…but who hasn’t and that was over 5 years ago. His management knew that he wouldn’t last in the UFC so they fled to the NBA D-League of MMA. I’m glad someone finally figured out to pull guard when he comes in overswinging. Props to UFC castoff Werdum for getting it done. Can we stop talking about this guy now?

By: JOSH Z

06.28.2010 @ 1:14 PM

Fedor is the Big Ten of MMA. Sorry, that’s how I feel.

I’ve seen him fight other dudes, and a couple impressive knockouts aside, there is zero drama in his matches.

I respect the dissenting opinion.

By: K-Mart

06.28.2010 @ 2:37 PM

Fedor boring? Shame on you punte, SHAME!

By: Scott

06.28.2010 @ 2:39 PM

I can see how you don’t like Fedor for “dodging” the UFC but calling his fights boring is just wrong. In his 31 wins 7 went to decision and the reason he lost to Werdum is because he doesn’t have a boring fight and rushed into a bad position.

By: Jmac

06.28.2010 @ 2:46 PM

I never understood why fighters who state they are ready to retire just don’t retire before fighting. Fedor looked like he went to Chuck Lidell’s training camp to prepare for this fight.