UNITEDRANT

It’s Dimitar. You know me because I play for your Manchester club in the best position of football attack. Also, I am Bulgaria’s national hero and a sport model of great admiration for everyone.

I made this position of success by not only being great, but also by having seven important habits of great people like me. I will tell you about my secrets, Manchester fans, because you deserve it for supporting me with love and cash.

Now, I will tell you about the first of my seven habits that have made me into perfection. I will tell you about the other ones later when I feel like it so you can also become like me, and improve yourself better than you are now.

My most important habit is habit number 1: Resting.

“If you can rest while others are not, then the world is yours my son.” That is what my father, Berbatar Dimitov used to say to me everyday before his eight hour lunchtime siesta.

My father understood that life pressure can be bad on health. But he also understood that bad things cannot attack you when you are resting, it is scientifically impossible. My father was a great man like my mother.

Succesful Habit 1: Resting

Unfortunately, it is not easy to rest professionally like my father, and many people are not good enough to do it. My substitute Carlos Tevez failed and said goodbye to Manchester because he could not rest as much as me. I beat him.

I also beat Tottenham president Mr Levy because I told him: “I will rest until you let me leave, I will be Gandhi! I will sleep to get my justice!” Tottenham quickly surrendered to me: “OK, go to Manchester now! You win again Berbatov.”

For me Resting is not only a habit, but an important part of my success and my life. It is easy because I trained many hours at becoming perfect. Now I can do it anywhere and anytime. I am like a bear resting in a field and then being magnificent when I see a fish.

Now enough of this, we must all leave this and return to doing relaxation.

I will be back when I feel like it with more from my ‘Seven habits of successful people like me’.

3 comments

Dat is so wicked man – may the selections of football tug at your strings of solemn goal scoring and the bendy free kick surmount your goliath-like ability for resting. Peace be upon you oh humourous one.