Aspergers like me

I can shine…(I have to remind myself of that!) I have been reminded over the last 48 hours what makes me shine. What makes me be me and gives me that drive to do the things I do. I know I am difficult at times socially, emotionally and just awkward. Some of that is just me and my personality but some of it is my autism. Honestly if I could take it away I would, I envy people that can walk into a room make eye contact have their head held high and just work the room. But that’s not me and will honestly it will never be me. The days that I truly shine is when I am surrounded by people, friends and family who understand me and let me be me. I have found my home and I don’t mean physical bricks and mortar ( we don’t own our house and never will) but it’s more than that it’s the family I have around me and nothing is more important than my two children and my husband they understand me more than I care to realise they sacrifice things for me to do what I need to do, to work the 12 plus hours then the late nights of paperwork the odd shopping trips to buy randomness and the melt downs, anxiety and pure stress of trying to get things right. But they give me the time and space and help to do this. I could not be more blessed. And this other place can be so frustrating at times but then that is life and that is just people. But during the Fayre that I organise I am in my element I am shining, I am a trooper, and I keep going! I truly love seeing people enjoy themselves and watching people working together and helping the young people is truly inspiring. The young people also help me shine they take me for who I am they help me get things ready, tidy up etc.. but it’s more than that it’s humble, it’s genuine it’s not complicated there is no hidden agenda or selfishness. I really couldn’t do my job if it wasn’t for the young people I look after and each year it changes and keeps me on my toes, it’s refreshing. It isn’t sad when one year group leaves it is like watching birds fly the nest knowing that they can fly and reach the dizzy heights of the big wide world, knowing that our job here is done and we did our best. I really couldn’t be more thankful to have found a place where I can shine (well on some days!) maybe not a Monday morning…!!!