Interpreting 26 common things that guys say

Men are, in comparison to women by majority, very simple, straight forward and literal creatures. Women on the other hand are deep over thinkers. Men are more prone to the phenomena of “linear thinking” and avoid complications. They generally sum up what they are feeling in a simple equation where as women process their feelings by applying complex arithmetical formulas where other than the total sum up, logic is to be subtracted, mood has to be added and the complications have to be multiplied.

Chaos follows when men say things with their logic applied to them and women interpret those things using their own logics. So given below is a brief guide to help you interpret some of the basic things that men tend to say. This is meant exclusively for the purpose of avoiding chaos in the future by trans-gender misinterpretations. Thank you!

“I’m going to call you soon.”

Translation: “I’m not going to call soon. Maybe later but probably not even then.”

“I don’t care at all.”

Translation: “I truly don’t care about the choices I have because we’re of course going to end up doing what you want to do anyways, so let’s just cut the crap and go straight to that.”

“She’s nothing more than a friend.”

Translation: “I’ve never had sex with her although I don’t know if I would like to.”

“It’s all my fault; I apologise.”

Translation: “I just can’t take this arguing anymore. Congratulations, you won. Can we get back to normal now?”