School

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

Pets

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. However, do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the Bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the dDoor. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years, canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, Dear pets, I have posted the Following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture..
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college

Christmas Lights

Man O Man!

If you want to increase your confront of heights, this is the video to do it. It is of the view from a head cam on a 1,700 foot tower climb. When your job is getting you down think of these guys. Just wait for the cartoon intro to finish, then hold on to your seat. http://www.liveleak.com/e/07b_1284580365

Another humanoid species co-existed with early humans and Neanderthals

Blame flood damage on greenie/free market British imperialism

The active suppression of Australian economic development ideas over many decades is the real cause of the devastation wreaked by the floods in Queensland, and the Pilbara, Gascoyne and Mid West in Western Australia, declared Citizens Electoral Council leader Craig Isherwood today.

“Australia is largely naked against the threat of such natural disasters,” Mr Isherwood stated, “because virtually all of the great development project ideas in terms of flood control and water storage, conceived over the years by visionary Australians, have been squashed by Australia’s imperial masters in Britain.”

He zeroed in on the City of London-dictated policies of free market “economic rationalism”, and Prince Philip’s anti-population “green” agenda, as responsible for the calamity that locals in Queensland are comparing to Hurricane Katrina, which isn’t just inundating homes in cities, but is washing away crops and topsoil, and already poorly-maintained bridges and roads.

“The British have used bean-counters and bird-brain greenies to deliberately stop Australia from developing the kind of infrastructure that mitigates these types of floods,” he said.

“For example, the London School of Economics-trained bureaucrat H.C. ‘Nugget’ Coombs, a self-styled member of the ‘international freemasonry of central bankers’, boasted that in the late 1940s he used his position to kill off the entire slate of the Chifley government’s intended postwar economic development projects—except for the Snowy Mountains Scheme.

“Coombs later succeeded Prince Philip as the president of the prince’s Australian Conservation Foundation (ACF), which spawned the entire green movement that currently has Australia under an ecofascist dictatorship.

“Projects such as the Bradfield Scheme, the Reid Scheme, and the Dawson River Scheme that could today be protecting people have instead languished as blueprints on dusty shelves.”

The CEC National Secretary blasted as “pathetic and callous” Julia Gillard’s and Anna Bligh’s responses to the disaster, and reiterated his 21st December call for a general farm debt moratorium under the terms of the CEC’s Homeowners and Bank Protection Bill 2008 in order to ensure the survival of the rural industries which are the backbone of the devastated communities.

“Australia desperately needs governments which are committed to the welfare of the Australian people first and foremost, which means being committed to Australia’s industries and infrastructure.

“Read the CEC’s ‘Infrastructure Road to Recovery’, Infrastructure Road to Recovery, which is the blueprint for the economic development projects that are necessary for Australia’s future, and join our fight to get it implemented,” he concluded.