Friday, June 04, 2010

Figures

My friend PM and I are both long-time fans of Lego, and as such we unfortunately encourage each other into spending far more than is sensible on these little pieces of plastic crack.

The Lego corporation, being a) evil and b) canny, has recently played to our weakness by releasing a limited edition set of minifigures, ones that are a little leftfield of their usual products (ninjas and zombies rather than the normal policemen and council workers). To add a diabolical element of uncertainty into the equation, the packaging for each minifigure is identical, meaning that you have no idea what you've bought until you buy it and open it.

So last night PM and I went to Target and bought five minifigures each, then repaired to my place for cake and discovery. It unfolded thusly:

Round 1

Me: I got an apologetic-looking Native American.

PM: I got a Ninja!

Me: Dang it!

Round 2

Me: I got a fruity Robin Hood.

PM: I got the Mexican Wrestler!

Me: Gaaaah! That's the one I wanted the most!

Round 3

Me: Crash-test dummy.

PM: Whoo! Evil clown!

Me: DAMMIT!

Round 4

Me: Trashy cheerleader!

PM: Meh... frogman.

Me: Ha! At long bloody last!

Round 5

Me: Dammit all to hell! Now I've got a stupid frogman.

PM: Cool! I got the Robot!

Me: What!?

PM: Mwhahahaha!

Me: That's it! No cake for you!

You'll appreciate why I was so upset if you apply the 'Who Would Win In A Fight' method of determining awesomeness. Consider my minifigs. Who would win in a fight between Robin Hood and a Native American? Answer: nobody cares. Who would win in a fight between a crash test dummy and a frogman? Answer: meh.

My Haul of Mediocrity

Now consider PM's minifigs. Who would win in a fight between a robot and a ninja? Or a clown and a Mexican wrestler? Answer (in both cases): EVERYBODY! Sweet merciful crap! Don't pretend that you wouldn't pay good money to see either of those bouts!

PM's Haul of Awesome

The only thing that eventually lifted my mood was the realisation that we could put the Clown hair on the Robot and create a Robotic Richard Simmonds.