New Bridget Jones Novel: She's A Single Mom Struggling With Twitter, Skinny Jeans

You don't want to know what happened to Mark Darcy. You really don't.

Famed "chick lit" author Helen Fielding will soon release a third Bridget Jones novel, Bridget Jones: Mad About The Boy. An excerpt from the novel appeared in British newspaper The Sunday Times over the weekend, leaving many hausfrau fans of the series weeping uncontrollably over their morning's muesli. Why? Because Bridget's perfect partner, Mr. Mark Darcy, has died.

Take a minute. Dab those eyes. It's ok. I mean, it's not ok, but it's happened all the same. Now, it appears Bridget and Mark did live happily — getting married, having kids — but just not for ever after. The cause of Mark's sure-to-be-tragic demise doesn't feature in the excerpt, but happened five years before Mad About The Boy's narrative starts up. Which is enough time passed for us to now see Bridget tentatively dipping her toes back into the online dating scene. Thanks to some flirty/dirty tweet sessions, he'll apparently land herself a "toy boy," named Roxter. Whether this is a Twitter username or a real one is, as yet, unconfirmed.

She'll also get into a fight with skinny jeans, because isn't that what we're all doing these days?

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