Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Today's Guest Blogger: The Devil!

King Neptune gave you New Yorkers a water wedgie a few weeks ago --- now, it's MY turn! And you're gonna sweat all week long, and you're gonna like it!

This is what makes being the Devil so fabulous: I get to gloat about how hot it is while the rest of you folks struggle to seek out the nearest air conditioner you can bother to sit under! From my famous, custom-upholstered Throne O' Doom, I determine the nastiest stuff on the Planet. And boy, have things been nasty to date, my friends! I won't bother describing the particulars; let others handle that. Suffice it to say, this heatwave is sure making me a happy camper, I'll tell ya that right now.

90-degree temperatures are going to be in your future all this week, kiddos. Get used to them. If I know ol' Heat Miser, I suspect that right now, he's havin' quite the party! (Heh-heh-heh!) Oh yeah, one other thing: don't bother worrying about taking a shower. When I'm through inflicting this heatwave on you, New Yorkers, well .... let's just say Pepe LePew will have nothing compared to the stinkiness that is bound to come your way, say I!

Well, there's only one more thing to do, then: watch you icky-poo Mortals tremble with the usual mixture of fear and awe whilst I, the mighty Devil, laugh my nasssssssty laugh!