Black women (nay, all of humanity) finally have the champion we need during #thesetryingtimes. Russell Simmons has just levitated down from a cloud in a seated lotus position and alighted upon his Instagram feed with words of wisdom and encouragement. Never has his voice been more welcomed, needed or essential to the #metoo movement. Out with the days of #notme, in with the days of #metoobutjustnotme

The name Uncle Rush reminds me of “Captain Trips”, which is one of the name Stephen King gave to the superflu that wiped out most of humanity in The Stand. If Russell can start his message about #metoo by talking about himself and sharing random thoughts, then so can I.

The thing is, Uncle, you really just don’t get it. Like, AT ALL. This hotep, fortune cookie, chicken soup for the soul, word salad bullshit is unneeded at this time. Please keep it. I’m especially galled by “if we continue to let the masculine energy govern our world without guidance from the feminine forces” brother, maybe if you had kept your misogynistic, pseudo spiritual and basic-as-fuck ass “energy” to yourself, you wouldn’t be be playing ‘Lil Cosby in the school play this semester.

That’s right, a Gandhi quote about animals where half the quote is cut off. Who emailed that to him? Aunt Patty, was that you? Did you send this to Russell and 100 other random people in your AOL contacts list?

Or how about this one somebody’s cousin used to have as their Myspace profile picture?

This man is an alleged multi-millionaire “taste-maker” and this is the best he can do? This is the true cost of misogyny and toxic male energy right here. Uncle Rush has 1.2 million followers on Instagram. He also has a $10 million sexual assault lawsuit pending against him. Add to that nearly a dozen formal accusations of sexual misconduct. I’m no good at math, but I hope that adds up to him ending up broke on both sides of this equation.

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