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Why I love "douche" as an insult.

Have you ever gotten soap in your vagina? Hurts, right? Now imagine, for a moment, shooting Lysol up there after sex. Shit shit shit ow ow ow.

Between the 20’s and 50’s, that was birth control for a lot of folks. DOUCHING. WITH LYSOL. YOUR VAGINA.

It was believed that douching after sex would prevent conception and since it was more available than condoms or the pill (since it hadn’t been invented yet) that was your go-to solution if you wanted to bang sans baby. This has since been proven wrong but studies have shown that it may reduce fertility by 30%.

This might have been the primary reason for douching, but Lysol’s advertising was some much more messed up, “vaginas are gross, clean that mess up” nonsense. A google image search for “Lysol douche ad” will bring up scans of ads telling women of yore that their husband is cold or absent or non-existent because of their smelly old vaginas.

The “doctor-recommended” solution? Filling your stanky pussy with the same stuff you use to clean your toilet—stuff which back then contained cresol, a corrosive, toxic disinfectant that has been found to cause inflammation, nervous and digestive disorders, jaundice and death.

Most people know now that vaginal douching messes with a delicate ecosystem anyway by killing off necessary bacteria. Imagine not only screwing with your vag balance but FILLING IT WITH POISON.

If I call you a douche, you’ll now know what I mean. I mean you’re gross, harmful, unnecessary and should never be let near a vagina.