Would it have been disrespectful to not order prints?

Since I got my wedding photo proofs online yesterday I was looking at them all evening and all morning today. I immediately agreed to order a USB of all 364 photos as I had 95 in my favourites box and the biggest package I could afford would only provide me with 17 of my images. After some thought I picked the smallest package that provided 12 images (ranging from 4×4 – 20×24) and paid only $140 (I had used my print credit to almost cut it in half).

In total photography and prints have cost me $1540 ($1000 for services, $400 for USB, $140 for prints) and for the amazing job she did I feel like that is nothing. She wasn’t very well known when I initially booked her but as of now she is a much bigger name and for the same things I got it would be $1000 more than I paid with her new pricing. My mom is very cheap and I knew she’d hate whatever I paid for them so she thinks that it all cost $1200… and feels that is way too much.

My mother was against the photography from the start and wanted a family friend (amatuer photographer, I dislike her work a lot) to shoot the wedding for free, I went ahead and decided to book this one as I thought her work was amazing even though she wasn’t well known. The day of the wedding was a disaster with my mother – she cut the preceremony photos short with a comment to me of “this is getting ridiculous” which made me sob in the bathroom because I paid a lot to have the photos done. As a result she didn’t get nearly as many shots as she wanted to and we missed a lot of group shots that she planned to get. She only produced 364 edited photos compared to the 800 I expected to get – so she offered the USB 50% off.

When I got the proofs I was blown away and thought my mother would be apologizing for doubting the photographer – I was wrong. She criticized so many photos and complained about a lot of things she did the day of (rain, mud on dress, too many couple photos, too many kissing photos, not enough family shots)… I especially had to restrain myself when she said I wasted my money on the photography. She felt the photos should have been free with the fee, that $400 was ridiculous for a USB with right to print and that I was very stupid for ordering 12 prints of my husband and I in various poses – in her opinion we need 1 simple pose and that is it.

My mothers preference would been to have ordered the USB and only get prints done at Walmart even though the ones she is providing are a much higher quality and guaranteed to look as they were meant to.

So now to my question:

Would you feel it would be disrespectful/offensive to have only ordered the USB stick?

I feel that it would’ve been a slap in the face to a professional photographer who has a passion for wedding photography. She put so much time and effort into our wedding to produce amazing shots – I feel they deserve to be printed and displayed in all their glory. We also would’ve forfeited our print credit with her if we didn’t order anything…

It is also good to note that she is doing our 1st anniversary shoot next year for free, I feel it would’ve been painfully awkward to work with her again when we didn’t order any printed photos from her from the wedding.

No, i don’t think that is rude. Many packages include a full CD/ USB drive of images, so i don’t think modern photographers expect to sell many prints. We will not be ordering prints because i can order them from a professional online lab for 1/4 of the price, but our package does include a full wedding album so that is were my photographer can shin. Also just a note photograph is my fiancees passion, so we are not like your mom, we do actually appreciate the art involved.

WeddingBells2014: I’m sorry you have to deal with your mother. I would stop providing any kind of details and only tell her things she asks. I know you didn’t ask for advice on your mum, but I do think it would help you view this situation differently if you didn’t have her overly negative opinion in your head.

As for ordering prints. My photographer told us right off the top that he can order us prints, but it costs him money and time and he ends up charging that back to us. With all the printing services available he advised us to take our time and pick and choose our prints and have them done elsewhere (we have full printing rights as well.) I’m paying him for his time, his talent and his editing. I’ll pay the print shop for the prints.

It also means there’s no ‘package’ of prints to buy. We can buy exactly what we want. And we can print more whenever we like. It’s win-win. 🙂

I would definitely pay for the USB. I wouldn’t pay for prints. And I would totally give her a great review if you feel it was earned, especially if she’s still developing her reputation.

I think photographers are quite used to couples choosing not to order prints for any number of reasons.

As far as your mother is concerned, her behavior calls for a little assertiveness on your part. She should not have been the one calling the shots (pun intended) with the photographer on your wedding day.

I did not order any additional prints from my photographer. We got a 16 x 20 canvas as a booking special and another 16 x 20 because enough people commented on our engagement blog post. Other than that, we got a USB with full print rights and I just ordered from mpix.com and was able to get exactly what I wanted for way less than if I had ordered from my photog. I don’t think it’s rude – I paid a huge bundle for my photographer, so I didn’t feel the need to order anything additional.

While I don’t think it is rude to not order some prints I also think it is a really good idea to have some professionally printed photos. The qualityof the printing can actually make a huge differnce to the final photo. You will see a marked difference betwee the ones your photographer does and the ones you can have done at Walmart. When you have already invested the money why not go the extra expense of having your favourite ones done with top quality printing? You sound like you love your photos and your photographer was professional and talented. You got a great result. Your mother is just a bad case of “sour grapes”. Good thing you didn’t go with her recommendation. You probably would not have ended up with photos that you cherish and treasure….and most likely your mother would still find something to complain about!

Its not rude. That said, you seem to really love your photographer, show the love and order. Order some through her and do some on your own. Let mom go order where she wants… try to get her out of your head for this, its Your wedding photos You paid for. :)<br /><br />Can you imagine what the comments would be with the ‘free’ friend? ha ha

I do not believe it is disrespectful to not order prints if you do not want them.

That being said, if your mother is not paying for them and you want them and can afford them you should get them! She shouldn’t be so critical and you should just nicely explain that you appreciate her input but it is our money and this is how you would like to spend it.

I don’t think it would be rude to just order the usb stick, she wouldn’t have made it an option if she wasn’t okay with it. And the prices she charges now have no bearing on the prices she charged at the time of your contract. However, none of that really matters! You don’t need an excuse to order photos of your wedding!! You loved the shots and were pleased with the quality… so you ordered them!! Don’t let your mother’s opinion skew your happiness with them. Art is subjective and the extra $140 is a pretty small cost. (And expecting great pics from a amateur family friend is hardly ever a good idea!)

This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by SydneyRose. Reason: typos

I’m coming up on my 3rd anniversary. I would love to have had prints from the photographer, but still have not been able to afford any (my dad paid for the photographer). I wish I had mine, but I don’t think it’s rude to not order them.

Guess my perspective was a little off on this, probably stems from my love of photographs. Now that I think of it, it only would’ve been disrespectful to have not ordered anything from her at all despite amazing shots.

I am so glad that I ordered the package so that I can have high quality prints around our home without the risk of walmart prints ruining the colour or anything.

If you love the photos, then you will have no regrets with ordering them! That is an EXTREMELY reasonable price. You will have some wonderful photos of you and your new husband, and your mom needs to just lay off.

WeddingBells2014: we aren’t paying out of pocket for any prints. The USB was included in our package and my mom bought us a $400 print credit (and another $100 was included in the package) all other prints will be ordered through Blacks or another professional print shop (not walmart – their colour is terrible)