We’re only responsible for our half…for what we bring to the table. So if we belly up with an open heart…pure intentions…an honest desire to love…life should be perfect, right? I mean that’s the path to a happy ending, isn’t it?

Unfortunately…or fortunately…in any relationship there are two parties…two unique individuals that bring their own set of hopes and dreams…their own set of scars and open wounds…their own set of triggers that they might not even be aware of.

This makes navigating a relationship…especially establishing a foundation…even that much more complex. At times, it can feel like building on shifting sand…some times like a sink hole…and if you’re lucky, every once in a while you both find your footing at the same time and it feels like you’re standing on bed rock. If this occurs, it’s important to remember that this too is momentary. The only constant is that it’s all always changing.

We’re constantly learning lessons…finding triggers…pushing buttons — both intentionally and unintentionally. We’re constantly negotiation our way through situations…interactions…life. We’re constantly growing and evolving…both as individuals and as a couple.

That’s why it’s so important to bring the best you to each relationship. The you that wants to find the best in the other person. The you that has hopes and dreams but not expectations. The you that does its best to see life without blinders. The you that is willing to forgive when things don’t go perfectly…or when a trigger is set off like a land mine.

I’m quickly learning that it’s all about your starting position. The best I can do is come into each situation…interaction…life…with an open heart…pure intentions…and an honest desire to love. If I can commit for that to be my own personal foundation, then even when the sand is shifting…when I’ve stumbled upon what feels like a sink hole…even when it doesn’t feel like things are going my way and I’m having to work to find my footing…even then I’ll know that I’m being the best me I can be…and that I’m doing my part.

Essentially everything in life is a negotiation and it’s up to each of us to determine the mindset we bring to it. We can fold quickly and walk away…we can look for compromises to keep the peace…or we can press for what we want and fight for what we deserve. But whatever the choice, we can’t forget that it takes two to negotiate…two parties with the desire to make it work. Two parties…each responsible for their half of what we bring to the table