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Relationships: The Trust Factor

by eHarmony Staff

December 16, 2009

Hardly a week goes by that we don’t hear about yet another case of infidelity involving a politician, celebrity, or star athlete. As the media splashes the scandalous details over screens and airwaves, the guilty party issues a press release that’s become all too familiar: “I regret my actions … I’ve gone against my values … I’ve hurt people I love.”
As bystanders to the wreckage, we shake our heads and ask, “Can anyone be trusted anymore?”

Good question! And it’s such a good question that it should be foremost on the minds of singles everywhere. It’s hard to imagine any quality more important in a potential partner than trustworthiness.

After all, trust and love are as tightly intertwined as strands on a rope. When trust is broken, love is diminished and damaged. But when trust is diligently maintained, love grows stronger and stronger.

Relationships in which two people trust each other at the deepest levels have at least four priceless assets.

First, they have the reassurance that someone will provide support and stability through the hard times of life. All of us experience frustrations and failures—and what a comfort to have someone who will stand by you through them all.

Second, trustworthy partners know that every investment they make in the relationship will pay dividends. If a man and woman trust each other, they can build a partnership that will not be confronted with the greatest emotional threats of all—betrayal and abandonment. They’re confident their relationship will last, so all the effort to deepen it will reap rich rewards.

Third, rock-solid trust means the individuals don’t have to spend their time and energy being suspicious. There isn’t any need to second-guess their lover. What this person says to them is truthful and reliable.

Finally, these partners can have genuine peace of mind. When you fully trust your partner, when there is no need for suspicion of any kind, you can have one of the greatest prizes in the world: inner peace. It is the prize for those who are deeply committed to each other and consistently demonstrate loyalty.

If you are dating someone, carefully assess the degree of trust you and your partner have and see if it is sturdy and sound. If it is, you have a key ingredient for a lasting, loving relationship.

And if you’re unattached and looking ahead to a magnificent marriage, take this issue very seriously. Be trustworthy yourself, and find someone in whom your trust will never waver.