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Monday, June 9, 2008

NOT SO FUNNY MOMDOC

Okay, you guys are all so FUNNY!! I am not. I'm a very serious but very very very happy momdoc. I just wish I could split myself in 7. One for each of two kids, one for hubby, one for violin, one for dressage horseback riding, one for work, and one for friends. Well, and maybe one for fun. Then I could be doc oc!! Instead I intensely devote each waking moment to dividing up what little time there is in a day. The trick I found is being in the moment. When at work enjoy work and forget about home and kids. When with family, forget about work and revel in the family. And the violin and riding - well you have to concentrate only on that to do it - it's my meditation, release, and my source of renewable energy and happiness. The problem I have is how to shift the time - and how to deal with that overriding sense of guilt that the others are not getting enough. So, I tell myself (and it's true), that if I gave up any one of these things I wouldn't be so happy and able to deal with the every day frustrations and problems. But there are ever looming questions: do I take more time to write papers and go for the promotion? Do I forget the promotion and watch everyone else get it but know that I have more time for the other 7 things? Do I do less riding (my only exercise) and spend more time with family but be a lot grumpier? Do I play less violin to have more hubby time and cut myself off from my only social network? I feel like I'm very happy where I'm at right now, but need to decide from here to continue as is, or shift time one way or the 7 others...

2 comments:

Maybe you could cycle through focusing on different areas of your life? A three-month stint where you do as much riding as you like, and relax the violin practice? An extended vacation from work to focus on family, after which you dive back into work full throttle?

Mothers in Medicine is a group blog by physician-mothers, writing about the unique challenges and joys of tending to two distinct patient populations, both of whom can be quite demanding. We are on call every. single. day.

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