How to Write Your Own XMAS Song!

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You hear them everywhere you go—in stores, in the car, in your home, where your mom won't let you turn the radio off. No matter how you celebrate the holidays in December, Christmas songs are kind of unavoidable. So I figure if you have to bear them 24/7 for an entire month, why not come up with your own original song? If Kidz Bop can successfully sell a Christmas album, then by golly, so can you!

Here's a list of items you must include in your lyrics:

Snow. What's that you say? You live near the equator, where the climate is warm and any form of frozen rain is rare if not completely out of the question? TOO BAD!! It's CHRISTMAS, and that means SNOW! Deal with it, Texas!

Family/Love. Christmas would be meaningless if silly little "independence" were involved. You will be with your family and like it! Oh, and that NBK status? Yeah, that's gotta change in this song. From now until New Year's, you are utterly dependent on others (song-wise).

Fire. Ever notice how many times "fire" is mentioned in X-mas songs? I guess it's supposed to be warm and enduring. I find it kind of weird, like something an arsonist would insist on adding to the lyrics. I guess with all that "snow" happening in the world, a "fire" is the only way to keep warm. Am I right, Australia?

Tree. Not just any tree! A Christmas tree! A beacon of light and colors and joy and peace on earth and goodwill towards men! You know, that random tree you have in your house for like a month until it seems weird and you take it down.

Brightness/Lights. If you haven't been almost blinded by lights and decorations, you aren't doing Christmas right.

Presents. What would Christmas be without presents? A colder, more colorful Thanksgiving, that's what. And if I have to pretend I like cranberry sauce again after swallowing it just last month, you better believe I expect a reward. Note: joy, happiness, and family count as "presents." Only in the song, though. If you give me a box of joy for Christmas, you better have the gift receipt in there as well.

Baby. This one can be used in various ways. There's the typical "Baby Jesus" choice. You can also go for a more romantic approach, like, "But baby it's cold outside." Or the most painful way, "Santa Baby," in which talking like an infant constitutes flirting. Pick your poison.

Christmas. Gotta remind the listener at some point what they've gotten themselves into.