As a child, I was frightened by my cousin who vividly described the monsters he saw. "Don't look or you'll always see them," he warned. His words haunt me to this day.

Years later, he was institutionalized in a state mental hospital. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia, the same illness that plagued his mother for most of her life. If someone - anyone - had recognized this early cry for help, he may have had a successful mental health intervention prior to the breakdown that necessitated his hospitalization.

He remains hospitalized to this day.

Below are a few cries for help from successful rap artists who have experienced severe mental illness firsthand...

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Notes from the Author

I am not a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or other mental health professional (yet).

The albums listed for each artist are not comprehensive, but are those that contain the songs that best illustrate the artist's struggle with mental illness.

The elephant in the room - Kanye West's 2017 hospitalization for an alleged mental breakdown - will not be covered in this article. While his "rants" may have served as a warning sign, I could not find direct evidence in his music that foretold this outcome.

The DSM-5 Includes Substance Use Disorder

"The diagnosis of a substance use disorder is based on a...pattern of behaviors related to use of the substance."

A characteristic of these disorders is "an underlying change in brain circuits that...persist beyond detoxification."

DMX's Degeneration Is Visible

Click thumbnail to view full-size

DMX in healthier times | Source

Source

Source

The One Who Did Drugs: DMX

Relevant Album:It's Dark and Hell is Hot

What comes to mind when you see the word "Hell"? If you're a Christian, you likely envision fire, brimstone, and endless torment. As an atheist or agnostic, you probably use the word to describe something tough or painful. In short, hell is no walk in the park.

Rapper DMX's 1998 debut album, It's Dark and Hell is Hot, was both a visual and auditory representation of his pain. The album's cover reveals only part of his face. He and his surroundings are tinged in red. You cannot see the whites of his eyes.

Aside from the album's title and cover art, songs like "Let Me Fly" hint at his sorrow:

Wit' this Y and you don't know you slow like BaltimoreIf you ain't trying to go ya blowI soak up all the pain and accept it in silenceWhen I let go it's violence cause the wildestLeaves the dog barking up the tree for the catIn the fog but ya'll n*ggas see is the batFlapping away but I'm blind like StevieN*ggas don't hear me, still trying to see meStop being greedy, you heard what I saidLet me flow, let me go or I'm dead

"F*ckin' Wit' D" is even more revelatory:

Is you on a level of a madman whose mind's twisted?Mad n*ggas dreams caught the last train, mine's missed itListed as a manic-depressive with extreme paranoiaHey dog, I got something for yaHear my name, feel my painN*ggas wanna steal my fame, but first, feel my reignKnow what it's like to suffer, never have enough ofShit, starting off hard then only getting rougher!Tougher, but then came the grease

The One Who Was Depressed: Kid Cudi

Relevant Albums: A Kid Named Cudi; Man on the Moon: The End of Day

Facebook and Twitter are apparently news sources - about 60% of Americans get their news from social media. If you're in this majority, you've probably seen the Twitter "beef" between Kid Cudi and Drake, with Drake coming under fire for criticizing Cudi's struggle with mental illness:

You were the man on the moon/ Now you just go through your phases/ Life of the angry and famous/ Rap like I know I’m the greatest

Tell me what you know about the night terrors every night5 A-M cold sweats, waking up to the skyTell me what you know about dreams (dreams)Tell me what you know about night terrors nothin'You don't really care about the trials of tomorrowRather lay awake in the bed full of sorrow

Even the title of the album suggests isolation; who is the man on the moon but a completely lonely being, eternally doomed to watch us from afar? Further, if one is on the "pursuit of happiness," they are presently unhappy. Cudi paints an image of a tortured and misunderstood soul: "Tell me what you know about night terrors nothin'". No one knows how he suffers, even when at rest.

"The Prayer" spells it out even more clearly:

God please help meI am feeling so alone, waitI don't need to worryCause I know the world'll feel this, n*ggaBlessing in disguise, butI am not hiding who I am, open your eyes, bro

I'm ready for the funeral, hey-heyI'm ready for the funeral, heyI'm ready for the funeralHey, I'm ready for itI'm ready for itI'm ready for the funeral

"Soundtrack 2 My Life" is another tragic ballad set to a digestible beat:

My heart's an open sore that I hope heals soonI live in a cocoon opposite of CancunWhere it is never sunny, the dark side of the moonSo it's more than right, I try to shed some light on a manNot many people of this planet understand... fam

[Hook]I've got some issues that nobody can seeAnd all of these emotions are pouring out of meI bring them to the light for youIt's only rightThis is the soundtrack to my life, the soundtrack to my life

I am happy, that's just the saddest lie

Source

Lean, Lean, Lean

From rapper Future crooning "I drink lean, lean, lean it ain't embarrassing" on "Wicked" to Three 6 Mafia devoting an entire song to it ("Sippin on Some Sizzurp"), "lean" is ubiquitous in Hip-Hop.

Lean is a beverage made of prescription-strength cough medicine and a soft drink (usually Sprite). Users of the drug seek the euphoric effects of codeine, an opiate found in the cough medicine.

The One Who Almost Died: Lil Wayne

Despite overdosing in 2013, rapper Lil Wayne allegedly continues to abuse lean. One of the primary characteristics of a substance use disorder is that the "individual continues using the substance" despite negative consequences. Lil Wayne's love affair with lean is clear - he even wrote a song called "Me and My Drank" about it. What are the underlying reasons Wayne seeks euphoria in a cup? He hints at them in the song:

I love it when she's near meI hate when she's awayAnd Satan'll see the dayThat Hell freeze overBefore I let her goAnd let one of you bitch n*ggas get herNo, no, noYou don't know how to treat herYou don't know that I need herHey, do you know that I need ya?'Cause baby, right nowIt feel like the whole world is against meEver since the death of Pimp C

We not one and the same;Casper the Friendly, Tunechi CobainAsk how I'm livin'? I can't complainLike, it's hot in hell, but it never rainShit never sweet, him never changedI'll always be the MF'er WayneI been lost conscious, I never regain

Possibly the most explicit song in his repertoire (and on this list), "I Feel Like Dying" makes it clear that Wayne uses drugs to ease his suffering:

Only once the drugs are doneDo I feel like dying, I feel like dyingOnly once the drugs are doneDo I feel like dying, I feel like dying

How Can You Help?

Acknowledge their struggles. So often people with mental illnesses are ignored or told to "get over it".

Encourage them to seek the assistance of a mental health professional.

Offer your ear and your time. Going for a walk together, sharing a meal, or joining them for an activity of their choice can be incredibly helpful.

If your friend or family member begins to talk about suicide OR is depressed and suddenly becomes upbeat and excited, please alert someone close to them (e.g. a romantic partner, parent, etc). If your loved one poses an immediate risk for suicide or threatens to harm someone else, call 911 (or the emergency service in your area).

Questions & Answers

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