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Saturday, 2 July 2011

normality resumed

I’m happy to report that Itchy has started to sleep better and can go 8 hours again.I can cancel my appointment with the local witch doctor, and breath a sigh of relief.I worked out that the problem was the weaning.I’d started to give them breakfast and dinner but it meant that Itchy was stuffed in the day so wouldn’t take as much milk…so had it through the night instead.Found out by happy accident after a few consecutive days of forgetting their dinners on holiday.Baby brain 1, attempt-at-organisation 0.I’d been working on the premise that more food meant fuller bellies and so longer sleeps, but it went back to feeding every 4 hours, was exhausted, had a dirtier house and an extra 4 nappy changes a day.So, much like moving yourself into your boyfriends house without him fully realising…I’m doing little bits at a time, taking it slow and not disturbing the routine.

It is messy though and I’ve now got suspect food stains to accompany the glue-like milk formula rings on our furniture.Because they’re not too happy with the high chairs yet I’ve been stupidly feeding them breakfast in our bed…on our crisp white linen.Baby brain 1, attempt-at-organisation 0.Cant quite understand how you get 3 spoons back to every 1 you give them, but as I’ve said before maths post-baby isn’t my strong point.I’ve been giving them lots of fruit which I’ve pureed myself and they love it.What a proud moment when the bowl gets finished.I find that if I talk in my most upbeat happy voice (which even I find nauseating) then they assume it’s good stuff and woof it down.I’m now introducing veg and they’re not having it.Wish I’d have fed them veg first now…do’h.

I’m going to confess that I have been bathing our babies once a week.Something I feel quite guilty about because out of everyone I’ve asked it’s the longest time between washes.I’d like to play my twin card and say it’s much harder with two but to be honest it’s a palava and I want an easy life.But what with the weaning and my sisters freakishly good attention to detail where my babies are concerned I concede they need more regular baths.I was shamed the other day when she pulled a huge lump of ear wax out of Scratchy's ear…that and jealous that I didn’t get their first.Another confession while we’re here is my biggest guilty pleasure is picking their noses.Pre-baby I’d be disgusted with any mum fishing around in their baby’s noses, but I can’t help myself.I even think twice when cutting my nails short cause I know I’ll be less effective.You’re grossed out aren’t you?Too much detail?

I know my sister doesn’t judge my parenting (or lack of cleaning) skills but I can’t seem to help feeling like I am generally being judged as a new mum.And I don’t think I’m alone.I went to the park with some close friends and their children the other day and one friend unprompted mentioned several times that she’d applied sunscreen to her daughter.I first couldn’t see why she was mentioning it as it had nothing to do with the conversation, but then realised she was worried that she might be being judged…even by best fiends she’d know 20 plus years.And I do the same.For example I’ll be talking about how I let my girls cry but then have to caveat it with “but only for a minute or two”.Where does that come from?I’m ashamed to say I’ve done my fair share of judgement pre-baby (and therefore unfairly) and have heard people doing the same.But what I’ve realised is a) mum’s know what’s best for their child, b) all children are different, c) therefore all parenting skills will be different.I have been on the receiving end of someone I know very well judging me.It makes me so mad even now that every time I think of it I puff up like a prized turkey. It makes me determined not to do it to anyone else.

Anyway, less of the serious stuff.I find that I need to escape from the girls quite a lot now, and I’m considering putting them into nursery for half a day a week just so I can do some housework/sleep/chisel those formula ring stains off my furniture.Generally have some time where I’m not responsible for them.Who am I kidding?I can’t pop to the shops without getting sweaty and uneasy that I’m not with them.I practically sprint back to the car and get shaky and frustrated feeding the parking machine with coins that just keep being returned back to me.It’s just like feeding my girls breakfast all over again.

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About Me

Thirty something mum of identical twin girls. Put aside my television production career to raise the kiddiewinks. Swing between loving it, being bored out of my mind. Surprised at the stupendous amounts if guilt and inadequacy that comes with raising little people. Writing a blog as an online record and to keep me sane. Married to anonoman since 2008. Love laughing, seeing my twins laugh together, Big Bang Theory, Yoga, when my kids sleep, the odd glass of wine, taking pictures, reading anything metaphysical and eating biscuits.