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Thursday, April 9, 2015

I clutched Michael’s arm as if he were my life preserver in the middle
of the ocean. My heart raced, making me wonder for the first time if I should
have listened to my doctor and gone for the stress test.

A few months ago I had been able to race all over Keegan Bay Park like
a teenager. Who needs an artificial stress test when real life handed them to
me several days in a row? Now here I was, clinging to Michael, my fiancé, all
the time hoping I would soon see Barclay, my husband, while at the same time
thinking I might die before I make it to the administration building of the
Auckland Park Kingsway Campus of the university. All my feelings of loss,
anger, grief, and hope crowded, jockeying for position in my head.

“We’ll go on to the library, Doll,” Larry said, pointing left.

I nodded as he and the others continued on ahead. Michael and I
stopped. The sign in front of us read Hoofingang,
translating to main entrance. A part of me was tickled by the Afrikaans words.
My mouth went dry.

Michael escorted me through the door and into a large reception area
with a marble floor. African themed artwork as well as photographs of the
university decorated the high walls. A glass-covered directory hung on the wall
to the right. Plastic chairs with cushioned seats lined the walls. We
approached a circular information desk at the center of the room.

“Yes, we have Professor John Carruthers here. Your business with him?”
the attractive young receptionist asked.

“He’s a relative Mrs. Reynolds hasn’t seen for some years. As we’re in
South Africa for only a few days, we hoped to meet with him.”

“Yes, sir. I can check his schedule, then get back to you. Where are
you staying?” She held a pencil poised over a notepad.

“Today!” I blurted. “I must see him today. You have no idea how long
I’ve waited for this moment.”

The girl’s eyes grew wide. “Madam. Ya.
If you will have a seat, I will find someone to help you.” She scanned the
room, presumably looking for help. A man in uniform approached her desk. “Would
you be kind enough to keep an eye on the desk while I help these people?”

She tilted her head in our direction. The middle-aged man looked
toward us grinning broadly. He reminded me of Sidney Poitier, a famous actor
from the fifties and sixties. Handsome devil. No matter what character he
played, I loved him, especially in Lily
of the Fields.

“Doll.” Michael nudged me.

“What?”

“You’re staring.”

“Am I?” I returned my attention to Michael. “Just remembering.”

“As long as you remember why you’re here.” He sounded grumpy.

“Michael, are you unhappy we came?”

“In a way, though I do want your status settled once and for all so we
can be married.”

“Sounds like I’m part of a Middle Ages melodrama. What if Barclay
wants to come home? What do I do then?”

“I assumed you worked all this out before we embarked on the trip.”

“Sort of. I mean, I feel like you and I talked it to death. If he’s
alive and doesn’t remember who I am, I have to decide whether or not to help
restore his memory, especially if he’s happy being here. He might even be married.
If he is deliberately avoiding me and our life together—” I didn’t want to
think about that possibility. “If it’s not him, we continue to search.”

Michael sighed as the receptionist approached with a tray bearing
coffee cups.

“I contacted Professor Carruthers. He will meet with you following his
morning classes.”

“How long will that be?” I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted this
entire day, this entire trip to be over. I could find out where he was teaching
and go kill him right now for messing up my life so badly. Frustration gnawed
at me. My hands shook when I accepted the coffee.

“He has an early day today and should be here within half an hour.”

“Good. We’ll take our coffees outside. We won’t be far, if you would
please let us know when he arrives.” Michael helped me to my feet.

We stepped outside. This time I observed the immaculately landscaped
and groomed grounds of the university. The buildings were all attached in a
circle around a massive green dotted with cypress trees and other larger shade
trees I didn’t recognize. A fountain played in a pool just ahead of us. We
settled on a bench not far from the entrance to wait.