A friend of mine viewed the Asa Akira clip I posted the other day, and he did not like it. I asked him to tell me what kind of porn he enjoyed, and he wrote me this letter. Enjoy!

Kendra —

I realized, after a lifetime of looking at porn, that I don’t like almost all of it. It’s grotty, unpleasant, populated by people I don’t want to talk to, let alone fuck, and the more extreme the porn makers become, to stand out from their competitors, the more they turn me off, both because of the scenario presented (I don’t want to rage-fuck someone in a basement) and because of the tragedies inherent in the production.

Young women with too much makeup and plastic surgery don’t turn me on, they make me sad and wonder about where their parents are. I had that reaction to the recent porn trailer with the scene in the movie theater you posted; you loved it, but all I could think of was: wow, is that floor clean?

But I recently came across some porn that seems designed specifically to appeal to people like me — which I would define as oversexed, heterosexual white males. It’s made by X-Art, and is the Platonic Ideal of Vanilla Porn. Looking at it (which I’ve done a lot) made me think a lot about the kind of porn-fantasy it presents, and why its so appealing.

Here’s my favorite clip (partially because a favorite partner of mine also has stripey socks just like that)

It’s typical of the X-Art vids I’ve seen. The girl is young, with a body unaugmented by wear, surgery or (too much) makeup. The setting is a high end apartment (many of the vids seem to be shot in the same LA loft) that might be the home of a protagonist in a Hollywood film. The man is attractive, but not the focus at all… there are a number of videos in which you rarely even see the man’s head. Everybody is young and perfect; hairless, both metaphorically and literally.

The music is different than typical porn. Many vids start with a cool, indie sounding pop song, the kind of thing attractive people might listen to in their excellent apartments, and then they fade out in favor of “natural” sounds. No wocka-wocka bass line to constantly say PORN.

But I think mostly, this porn implies affection. Look at that clip; the title and the approach of the actors implies a loving relationship. Look at the beginning of this threesome vid.

It’s pretty standard porn stuff: a FFM scenario, and the general “hairlessness” of the scene screams porn, not reality. But look at the way the scene is set up… the girls walk into the guy’s room, smiling, unexpected but welcome. This is no plumber stumbling on a slumber party; this porn is about relationships. (albeit hot sexual relationships between gorgeous people.) They know each other. They like each other. They do this all the time.

Even when X-Art gets kinky — specifically anal — it’s the opposite of the slam-bang ass-fucking most porn presents (and that would tear up a real person if they tried it.) You can see an example here.

You can find good, clean fun at X-Art

Note again, the great setting, the couple who knows each other — she’s bringing him breakfast! — the “gentle” progression to the anal sex, the way the girl grows to welcome it.

Here’s the irony about this particular collection of porn, which you can find at the original paid site, here: X-Art.com.

It is, absolutely, porn… a glossy, unrealistic fantasy of sex, with none of the complications, imperfections, difficulties or hair that real people having real sex have. And most of its appeal is that it is that fantasy.

But it is also — unlike most other porn I’ve seen — a glossy, unreal representation of the sex that I’d actually like to have. Active, hard core, sometimes kinky — but mostly, loving, with a human connection. That’s the gimmick in X-Art porn; that’s the kink: Affection.

It makes me wonder… would the ultimate vanilla porn not have any sex at all, but just show a man in a beautiful woman’s arms, as she tells him, in a hundred different gymnastic ways, how much she accepts him for what he is?

Signed,
Mister

Comments

Canadian Bald Guy2012-05-04 11:09:22

I couldn’t agree more.

As I enter my forties later this year, I find that this is the type of porn I’m most drawn to. X-Art, Joymii, and SexArt are three sites, in particular, that have some of the best pornography out there.

I believe the above poster described it perfectly: “a glossy, unreal representation of the sex that I’d actually like to have. Active, hard core, sometimes kinky — but mostly, loving, with a human connection.”

I have zero desire to watch porn where the women are on auto-pilot and/or any enjoyment looks completely fake (along with their bodies). This new style of natural “affection porn” is definitely the new direction pornography should take.

I’m another older guy, and I agree with Mister that this porn (X-Art and similar, like orgasms.xxx) depicts the sex I’d like to have. Except for one very important thing: the cum shot. Who in real life wants to do that? I tend to search for the “cream pie” tag on porn sites to see the type of finish I would think 99% of other men would like 99% of the time. Why does porn, even much of the “tasteful”, “loving” porn, insist on showing withdrawal and ejaculation on the exterior of the woman? Am I that much in the minority here?

Your observation that too much porn features people who are young and attractive to our current society’s standards for beauty was quite the comfort. It is warming to me when men admit they find a variety of women attractive rather than the rote slender blonde featured by much of today’s porn. I suspect more men prefer women who bring their own individual beauty to the table, but as a woman, I don’t know for sure unless one admits it!

I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually watched porno. It’s been 10-12 years since more than a quick clip has held my interest and its for all the reasons stated above.

Long ago I was tired of the cliche pizza delivery guy and the unrealistic body types of the starlets. Perhaps I’m odd that I like women that look like actual women and not Jessica Rabbit. Admittedly some amateurs in their films seem to have a connection that can be related to.

Perhaps well made adult films with realistic actors and decent settings is a positive sign both for the acceptance of porn a a legitimate art form and sexuality as a whole.

I was delighted to discover this genre and particular porn company through Mister, so thank you for that!

One thing I noticed was how very young and dewy the girls are. I can definitely see the appeal, but it made me think of a conversation I had with an older gentleman the other day. He showed me his porn stash on his iPad, and I was fascinated to see that most of the pics were of older women on the toilet. I had not pegged him for that. I was expecting to see a bevy of young beauties!

Have to agree with MIster on this one. Too many of the “actresses” today are tattooed, shaved, pierced, and surgically enhanced. There’s a thread at the vintage erotica forum about this very thing and the general consensus is that porn just isn’t what it used to be. Give me an all natural woman with some pubes anytime.

Actually these videos by this company in specific always squick me more than most porn. The music, the setting, the lighting, the video quality, and the general atmosphere of them is always fantastic and something that’s fun. Where I break down is the people. Much like Met Art, these videos always make me feel like I’m watching artful pedophilia scenes primarily because of the actresses they shoot with. It immediately turns me off and I walk away from this companies work. To each their own in this sort of thing, but really I’d rather see this amount of work and setting and a group of actors and actresses that appear older.

A bunch of people (including our hostess) have commented about the extreme youth of the actresses/models… I noted it too, and I understand why it squicks some people out. I am grateful, though, for the lack of “hot teens” iconography: thank god there are no cheerleader outfits.

My comments: males are hard wired to find young (fertile) women sexually desirable, and it also plays into the virgin/whore paradox. These girls look so young its easy to imagine this is their first or rather earliest relationship; we deluded men want our women to be absolute sluts, but only with us. Again, it’s all about the (fantasy of) personal affection.

And here’s a thought: I’m twice as old as these girls appear to be, but one’s self image is fixed at a young age. I still look out at the world with eyes that feel 17 years old, and am always shocked at the middle aged man who appears when I look in a mirror. Seeing porn with people my own age… well, that’s a little too uncomfortably close to a mirror.

Affection porn is definitely a positive trend. (I wouldn’t mind tattoos or piercings though.) One of my favorite clips is actually a hidden/stationary camera in a college dorm room. That the girl may or may not be aware of it is the only drawback. The reason I enjoy this clip is that they are having real sex with all the awkward positioning and honest moments of ecstasy. When she lowers herself onto him and she gulps, gasps and looks at the ceiling… well it almost always does it for me.

Everything has its place. I love X-Art, too. I post a lot of their videos to The Infinite Ache. I also love everything Camille and Mad Blanket put out, Violet and Rye, Erika Lust, CafeGlow, Andrew Blake, etc.,. There is nothing wrong with a good “vanilla” scene, but I also dig me some rough sex and the occasional bukkake video, as well.

It’s all relative, though. You’re bound to find someone who thinks X-Art is disgusting – all these images of two women, threesomes. Horrible! They should be ashamed of themselves. We need to shield our children from a site that encourages such filth. Right? My kink may not be your kink. “Pleasant” is in the eye of the beholder.

No makeup. Heavy makeup. All woman are sexy and beautiful. There are times I want my girl in pj’s and nothing else. There are also times I want her all dolled up – the hair, makeup, a clingy black dress. The girls on X-Art are very pretty, but Asa Akira is fucking hot, too. To each his own, I guess. For me… I want it all. Now.

X-Art is a site that come close to my own preferences. I prefer to see an actual couple of any orientation in action – imperfect bodies, little to no makeup but with genuine affection and enjoyment. Wonderful stuff.

I completely agree with ‘Mister’ here. As an undersexed twenty something male in a caring relationship I turn to porn like this frequently. The over the top, abusive, and wholly unrealistic porn never has done it for me. Now I just have to find a girlfriend for me and my girlfriend so we can reenact some of the scenes shown by these sites!

I really prefer “amateur” or “reality” porn. It can be heavy on point-of-view, short, choppy, and badly lit. But when it becomes transcendent, when someone pushes at a limit or reveals real passion, it is more compelling than any high production value film.

I think the ratio of great-vs-ordinary is about the same in either style.

I watched all the videos presented for “evidence” and found the women disturbingly similar (slim, identical bodies with smallish breasts and nothing to differentiate them other than hair color), not to mention was – as a woman who prefers time spent in the bedroom to be fair and equal – extremely put off by the amount of fellatio vs. cunnilingus. Of course some men will prefer porn in this manner … the women are nonthreatening and eager to please, with none of the drama a “real woman” would bring in hoping her partner might reciprocate. Considering there was still a money shot, all these videos are missing was variety, visual interest, and sexual equality. I’ll sacrifice watching a sweet, gentle fuck for one that gives me a taste of something I would actually be more likely to find in the real world.

I came across this (hah) after I sent my letter in, and wish I had used it as the Platonic ideal of what I was talking about: high gloss vanilla porn in which the affection between the two people is emphasized throughout: http://www.redtube.com/83110

In regard to all of those who’ve posted critiques of this kind of porn or expressed their own preference: well, duh, of course, its porn, and presumably there will be as many different kinds of tastes catered to as there are different kinds of people. I don’t watch the BDSM stuff that, say, Kink.com produces, but I know people who do and I have no problem with them, or it…

My point was not that this was the Best Porn, but that it speaks to a particular kind of consumer, or a need in the marketplace, that most porn underserves: those of us who want a human connection as much as we want an orgasm. (And maybe those of us who still labor under certain stereotypes of sexuality: young perfect bodies, the money shot, the emphasis on blow jobs over cunnilingus, etc etc.)

In the end, I wasn’t making a point so much about porn, but about myself, and about the people who are out there (some of whom commented here) who are like me in this way.

I feel exactly like you do. It was about time someone addressed our porn needs. Porn was becoming a synonym for Hardcore.
When watching these kind of videos, I feel more satisfied either when masturbating or when having sex with my wife, because they pull psychological triggers on me that rough sex don’t.

Then I realized why I liked X-Art: It’s pure escapism. I like porn for viewing what I don’t have/can’t have. I like rape porn because it’s shocking and different…because like many, over the years I’ve seen too much porn and it’s lost the effectiveness. The porn industry forever had too few cocksmiths, too much plastic surgery, and no real affection for either the partner or the job itself.

Now come these dreamlike vids with near-perfect milkfed young people having the best of vanilla sex. Normally vanilla sex wouldn’t do it for me, but these vids are great for long views – They take you through the sexual encounter as it would likely really happen in utopia, with no faked scenarios presented (sure, that’s the babysitter, whatever).

So X-Art is the core of my viewing at age 50, with the other 30% being extremist stuff.

I can’t believe no one has mentioned ifeelmyself.com yet. The site focuses on simply videoing regular women – a beauty in itself – in sexual situations, mostly masturbation. It is absolutely fantastic. I was relieved when I found that site because while a movie style perfect sex scene is great (especially when Paul Black (SexArt.com and TheLifeErotic.com) directs it) sometimes you just want to view those little private moments in order just the way they are.