"The Deen is Naseehah (Sincerity)"

Menu

Month: March 2012

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend. She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world. The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur’anic verse which says: “they are your garments and you are their garments” (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).Indeed,spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey. The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, “And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature …” (Surah Al Nahl 16:72) Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur’an, “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Surah Al Rum 30:21) But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured. Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said “one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife.” Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car’s door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel. Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face. Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said “the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don’t be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife’s parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her “I don’t like your parents.” Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said ” I don’t like yours either”… Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses , “Enter Paradise, together with your spouses, and rejoice.(Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70)” and offsprings.

My generation grew up at a time when colonial hang up was at its peak.
Our older generation had been slaves and had a huge inferiority
complex of the British. The school I went to was similar to all elite
schools in Pakistan.

Despite gaining independence, they were, and still are, producing
replicas of public schoolboys rather than Pakistanis.I read
Shakespeare, which was fine, but no Allama Iqbal – the national poet
of Pakistan. The class on Islamic studies was not taken seriously, and
when I left school I was considered among the elite of the country
because I could speak English and wore Western clothes.

Despite periodically shouting ‘Pakistan Zindabad’ in school
functions, I considered my own culture backward and religion outdated.
Among our group if any one talked about religion, prayed or kept a
beard he was immediately branded a Mullah.

This is a letter addressed to Bashar. What kind of letter and message would you send to him?

Oh Bashar,

How you do you do it? I am truly in awe of you.

The world revolves around your highness, and the sun truly shines for you, and that’s a fact because the sun told me so.

You are better than the rest of us; where we have hearts that feel compassion and mercy and can wither with enough heartache and loss, yours is made out of steel and wrapped up in a blanket of cold death:

"Keep yourself busy in remembering your faults, so that you have no time to remember the faults of others.
Be sad on account of all the time you spent in the past in other than the pursuit of your Hereafter.
Cry frequently for the wrongs you have committed in the past, and perhaps you will then be saved from them.
Never tire or become bored of good deeds and of the people who perform them."

In the last few decades, the world has seen an escalation in calling for equal human rights. World leaders, in order to appease the masses, allocate a day here and there, for the people to shout out their pains and thus cool their fervour. Arise the next morning and its business as usual.

Infringement and usurpation continues from the side of those in power while the masses feel really proud of themselves for standing up for the oppressed nations of the world.

Yet Palestine remains under brutal occupation, Afghanistan rages under the fires of war, innocent victims languish in prisons, and the unwary masses sleep easy, content that they have stood up for Human Rights.

When Allah’s Beloved Sallallaahu Alayhi Wa Sallam came into this world, it was ablaze with every tyranny, corruption and evil that man is capable of. Yet when He Sallallaahu Alayhi Wa Sallampassed away, His legacy of Sahaabah Radhiyallaahu Anhum, showed the world such an exemplary code of rights, that even a non-muslim citizen had the right to take on the Muslim ruler in the court of law.

Rights and justice were tangible realities in glaring contrast to the hollow sentiments they represent today. This Ummah was created to personify and vividly display the meaning of justice and fairness to mankind. But as the poet laments, we have strayed very far from our purpose.