Sunday, April 25, 2010

Finally, to end this weekend's series of posts, we leave you with a video clip of British Soul singer, Adele. I amazes me how pasty, slightly overweight girls with Cockey accents end up sounding like Etta James - but it happens.

It's not a new song, but I ran across it on my Chicks N Pianos channel on Pandora today, so I thought I'd play it for you. We give you 'Make You Feel My Love'.... Enjoy, and we'll see you next week.

Greetings from the command post, somewhere off the East Coast of the US, on our nuclear-powered surfboard.... We've enjoyed being one of the more popular and well-respected blogs in tha Palmetto State these past 4 1/2 years, but it is, after all, just a blog. There are more important things in life - like having a career, social life and a little cash in the bank. How soem of these guys spend 24/7 blogging is beyond me, but I'm convinced they either have trust funds, are bullshitting their bosses into thinking they're actually working, or are getting paid by campaigns to work. I have none of those luxuries.

What I do have is a job that's paying me more than double what I was making in Florence, and I actually like the people I work with - yes, even the technicians are nice. What I don't have is time. Here is my schedule: I wake at 6:15 AM, commute to work from 7:00-7:45AM, work from 7:45 til 7:00PM (yeah 11 hours a day), then commute back home, which is just slightly less time. That gives me 2 hours to eat, check my e-mail, say hi to the family and blog. Guess which isn't making the cut on Monday to Friday?

Yep, what the game plan is - and we've actually been doing it a couple weeks already - is to be a weekend only blog. No, it isn't the standard method of operation for blogs, but it will have to do. Rather than check on us during the week, and wonder where the hell we are for five days, we've decided to just do it when we have a little time. Trust us, we still like doing this, and we are still doing it to entertain and inform you guys, but Big Daddy has only so many opportunities left, and this is a good one we got in on. We're kicking around the idea of a Facebook fan page, but we're not big FB fan page, uh.... fans. Maybe, maybe not. Thanks for the continued support, and we hope this notice helps make your searching for us easier..... We love you too!

Lt. Gov. Describes the Amount of Respect in Today AP Article ....Anytime we get news from South Carolina up here in Yankeeville, we try to let you know. No, it's rarely good news. South Carolina - which is usually known as that place halfway to Florida - is looked down as rednecky, and all those other things New Yorkers know nothing about. That is, until it's time to retire and buy some oceanfront property so you have a nice view when you die.... Then again, no one down there gives a rat's ass what Yankees think , right? So it all works out - but we like the game despite it all....

Anywho, the news from South Carolina that made it all the way to Page 24 was an AP article noting Lt. Governor Andre Bauer's latest non-apologist stance on what's wrong with South Carolina. Like Bauer's previous eyebrow-turning comment, what he actually said and how it looks in paper don't quite equal out - and the AP didn't even seem to go out of it's way to give Bauer any credit. The title of the article? "SC Lawmaker: 'Lazy' People cause of immigration problem." Now, if it were me, the thing that would tick me off is the term 'lawmaker'. Hey, I'm the Guv Lite here, people!!! 'Lt. Gov.' takes up less space than 'lawmaker', so that's not the reason. To us, it's just a jab to marginalize Bauer.

Of course, the real question is what he said, which unfortunately was the truth. The problem with telling the truth is that the people who used to be the ones picking the vege's are mostly black, so the chances of some people (not normal people) viewing that as a veiled prejudiced statement are pretty good. I'm sure you've read it all already, which is why it's not printed here, but even though it doesn't need a 'what I meant was' rebuttal, there will be plenty of people more than glad to use it against Andre.

The clear point is that Bauer is digging himself in as the 'straight shooter'. The problem is, most people like to blame bad things on other people or places - especially South Carolina. Bauer is betting that being brutally honest will get him to nose out Gresham Barrett in the Primary and possibly beat Henry McMaster in the runoff. Our guess is that it has more risk than reward, and it may cost him second place, but that what's you have to do when you're in Third Place. What do you say when you're in the lead? Ask Henry McMaster......

"You'll never hear me criticize of, complain about, or be anything but proud of the people of this State." Must be nice to be leading... for now.

No, we're not taking credit for pulling off any big coup of a story here... That goes to Moye and the folks at the Clarendon GOP, who remind you that you can't win without Clarendon County... I call our little group The Four Horsemen (and it will stay at four), but the truth is Moye is by far the Big Horse, and we're just ponies... Of the 15 counties in the 6th, Moye was again the leader by getting Jim Pratt, Nancy Harrelson and Colleen Payne to all attend the county executive committee meeting this past week - and he made YouTube clips of it!

Getting any kind of publicity when you're running for this seat is tough enough, but we were glad that Clarendon's people set it up so that each candidate is getting equal exposure and opportunity. Truth be known, we haven't watched the clips ourselves yet. It gets in our way of being objective, and the point is to promote each candidate equally, right? RIGHT ??? Of course. You can access them either of two ways. We suggest you go onto facebook, join the Clarendon County Republican Party page, then click info - and the links are there. But, if you want to be unsociable, here are the YouTube links for each candidate:

"It does not take a majority to prevail.....but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of Men."

-Samuel Adams

We've had this one on file for a little while now, and it's one of the few that we have some caution about. Hell yeah, you don't need to have an absolute majority of people actively involved to affect positive change. But, flip it around.... All it takes is a few people with the wrong, or bad, intentions to totally eff stuff up. And as always, take a peek into WHO is trying to change things, and how they might benefit. As Mel Gibson said in 'The Patriot'... 'is it worse to deal with one tyrant 3000 miles away, or 3000 tyrants one mile away?'

No doubt about it, the big story this week was the Icelandic Volcano. The funny part about this story is that NO ONE in the media even attempted to try and pronounce the name of that friggin' volcano! We'll make it easy for you, and just call it Bjork-cano. You're welcome....

Anyway, there were a couple cartoons that picked on the subject. Actually, the other one might have been funnier. It was a UN flunkie reading a useless cease and desist resolution to the volcano for emitting Greenhouse Gases - but the cartoon looked crappy. Being visual creatures, we went with the prettier one, but it was good to incorporate the recent baggage increases with the story. On a personal note, we got affected by Bjork-cano too, when we found out that Mercedes wasn't able to send us parts due to ash.....

No, I Never Got Sick at Work Before..... But There's a First Time For Everything.

We apologize for not posting at all this week, but we have a decent reason. I caught a Stomach Virus that was going around the house on Tuesday night while at work, and we just are in the tailend of it today. Rule of Life: never watch TV lying next to a 2 year-old, because they cary every germ on the planet. This was the path of battle in the house.... Stevie got it Friday, passed it to Carol Saturday, then Joe briefly Sunday. I thought Sarah got it Monday night, but it must have passed her - and went right after me. Seriously folks, I never felt this sick in my life. I took less time to recover from 66 stitches of kidney surgery, but I was 14 at the time....

The tough part is that we missed posting on a lot of our favorite things: The Silver Elephant banquet, Striped Bass Festival, 4/20, remembering my Mom's birthday, and a few other things. But, we pick up where we left off, and start again, so let's give some of this week's small news.....

First off, Moye Graham's Son-in-Law is deploying for Iraq this weekend. While things are much safer than they used to be, we wish his family luck and a quick and safe return. BTW, Moye posted that his grandson hit a Grand Slam yesterday in his last game before his Dad shipped off. Nice gift....

All indications are that last night's Silver Elephant banquet was a success. Karl Rove gave plenty of Red Meat for the SCGOP to feed off of. They even had a Bloggers Row in the back of the room, although Earl Capps and Brad Warthen were the only ones who attended. I know I wasn't contacted, but I am kinda far away - but it would be nice to be asked. As for the rest, I'm not sure why they passed. Here's my rule: if you want to dish out some shit, you better be prepared to take it every once in a while. If you're right, you have nothing to worry about......

Dammit, I missed another Jim Clyburn Fish Fry !! Once again, I didn't get an invite from the Pimpmaster - I mean Whipmaster. Oh yeah...... I did read a Tweet from P-Luv that it was pretty good, as usual. I have one question..... Hey P-Luv, does Clyburn know that you and Hickory Head are friends of mine ???!!!! I picture all of Flotown's Federal funding going down the tubes with the release of that info...

Almsot forgot the weather report: you guys would consider it crappy, but I'll take it. Yesterday was nice - 67 and Sunny, but the storms rolled in from the West, and we'll be in the mid-50's with rain for the next few days. No, Spring doesn't come here until May, but it's long and very tolerable. I can't wait for the pool to open. Thanks to my constant body revolt, I lost probably 7-8 pounds this week, so we're going to try and maintain, rather than getting back to old playing weight....

The big story in music mews was definitely Bret Michaels brain hemorrage. If you need any proof that Diabetes will eff you up long term, just see all the crap Bret's endured. Last month, it was an appendectomy, now this. I'm only a borderline Poison fan, mostly becuase I think CC Deville is hilarious, but we wish Bret all the best to recover fully..... If it weren't for the fact that they were kind of taking advantage of the LA Riots, 'Living on the Edge' might well be Aerosmith's best song. Then they did that Armageddon song......

We appreciate you sticking with us this week. We will be making a big announcement , probably later today, regarding the blog. It should make things easier to keep up with us. See ya!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Not Exactly the Kind of 'Rebellious Behavior' We Were Looking For From the Founding Fathers ....

Nope, we're not kidding. While many of our founding fathers were brave, courageous and smart well before their time, some of them weren't exactly total role models. Today from MSNBC.com, word that George Washington was........ GULP! .......... a......... non book returner !! Might as well throw the Constitution out - not that anyone in DC pays attention to it today anyway....

Yes, the Father of Our Country never returned two books that he borrowed back in 1789, when he first took office. The New York Society Library, the oldest library in America, has been keeping tabs on the late charges on 'The Law of Nations' and a volume of debates from Britain's House of Commons - although they won't mention how much they are. The library said they will forgive the debt in exchange for the books, which are probably priceless - and non-existent at this point. My image of Washington is totally shot now. He's now on par with Jerry Seinfeld, although at least Seinfeld paid the late charge for Tropic of Cancer.....

If you think Washington was alone, think again..... The same library also is waiting on books from Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr and John Jay. Rumor is that Hamilton was planning to return his overdue books right after his duel with Burr, but ...... So, the next time the librarian makes you feel like a piece of crap for being late, tell her that you're not being a scofflaw - you're being Patriotic !!!

RINO'S, RINO'S, RINO'S -it's one of our favorite topics, mostly because the argument is laughable. It's all relative to where you live, and even just one person with a laptop's opinion. You may have noticed, we have NEVER called anyone a RINO. We've called them crooks, liars and even ugly, but in our book, if you call yourself a Republican, then you are one. 'RINO' and 'Real Republican' are judgement terms, and in our opinion, flawed and rude terms......

That brings us to our post today. We got a couple Facebook messages this week about the Solicitor race between Republican RoseMary Parham and incumbent Democrat Ed Clements. A brouhaha developed when Clements allegedly made comments about Parham's GOP credibility. We don't normally print hearsay, but we have to in order to make the point. Clements supposedly said that Parham was really a Democrat, that she held a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton in 2008 at her home, and that he was more of a Republican than she was. That's the gist of what I got. This set off a firestorm within the Florence County GOP, especially among the Florence Republican Women, who see Parham as their top priority.

Yeah, the e-mails and comments were fast and furious for a little bit there. Proof of her voting record were produced, and her not being listed for any campaign contributions as well. Of course, the terms 'RINO' and 'Real Republican' got thrown all over, which finally caused us to stop ignoring this kinda silly fight, and try to give some sage advice from a guy who's seen a battle or two...

We'll make this short and sweet..... Is Clements actually a Republican? It's entirely possible, but we don't know. Is Parham a RINO? Who knows. Maybe she had the fundraiser, but didn't file, although we doubt it. There is one undeniable fact here: trying to figure out whether a candidate is a Republican or a Democrat in Florence County - or anywhere in the Pee Dee and most of the 6th District - is an exercise in futility. Picking a party for the path of least resistance is par for the course here. When the winds change, candidates will flip-flop on a dime. That's the way it is here - almost everyone is a RINO, or a DINO, or a Bam-Bam - but there are only a few Betty's....

For those of you working on the Clements-Parham teams, I have some bad news for you. This is going to be the tightest, most hard-fought race locally this year. Fighting over who's a Real Republican or RINO is a waste of your time. No one cares, nor should they. Personally, I think that poltical affiliation in law enforcement of any kind is a disservice to our citizens. I could care less if my Solicitor or Sheriff is a Republican or Democrat, just as long as she/he does a good job - and most feel the same as me. There are Republicans with Clements stickers on their cars, and Democrats with Parham stickers on their as well. You will have to do it the old-fashioned way...... You'll have to win on the merits of your candidate, and knocking on doors. You can't slander your way to a win - you'll have to earn it, and that's a beautiful thing. Just like it used to be......

I meant to post this a few weeks back, but I forgot - again. Luckily, I heard this song on the radio yesterday, so I kept in mind before my ADD-riddled brain threw it out..... It's a sad thing to say, but after three weeks, the knowledge that Lo-Lo isn't coming back has sunk in.

I don't know who Eddie and the rest of Pearl Jam are talking about in 'Just Breathe', but for anyone who's lost a friend or loved one, it fits pretty well. This will almost definitely conclude our tribute to my buddy, because I can't imagine anything more fitting. Enjoy the clip.....

The cartoonists came back strong this week. We had a few to choose from, but we declined to show the Vatican church as a ticking time bomb. The Nuclear Summit seemed to be this week's top story, along with the Tea Party Events, and this one did the best job of combining the two....

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Yes, it's rude and vulgar. Yes, I love it, and I can't wait to wear it out..... I saw it online, and I thought it would be a perfect way to honor Loisann. It fits her spunky personality to a T..... I got it yesterday, and it actually fits nicely, although the print is a bit blurrier than it looks here. Still, for 21.95 including shipping, it was a nice and unique way to pay tribute to our Lo-Lo.... If you want one of your own, or maybe something more classy, go to www.wehatecancer.net ......

At first glance, I thought this was a picture of Sandra Bullock sitiing in front of all her legal papers from her impending divorce. We both went to East Carolina, but I found out that she left her Senior year, which was my frosh year, so we never crossed paths. That explains why I never saw her on the Quad.... Anyway, this week's big news is that I finally started working again. I'll be blunt here: this does not bode well for the blog. With the commute, I waste 13 hours a day on the job, whcih leaves me about 2 hours after dinner to do anything, and there's more important stuff than blogging: Friends, resting, family, and a renewed attempt to find the newest Ms. X - unless she actually WANTS her name mentioned...This may become a two day a week thing maximum, but we'll worry about that later. Onto the news.....

Today's weather? Kinda miserable: cool and on/off rain - maybe 50 degrees today, but the trees are starting to bloom. Work is pretty good so far. The customers are the same, but the people I work with (which is why I leave 90% of the time) are more friendly, professional and fun than other places. Spent the night after work with about ten of them at the bar. One of them I am quite smitten with, and a couple others are workable, but I doubt anything will come of it...

P-Luv tells me that Ed Robinson is still shooting his mouth off. My suggestion is to do a couple Serenity Prayers, then prepare to kick his ass in June. Pigs oink, ducks quack, and Ed cries racism at every turn. He may 'have a problem' with Mayor Hickory Head, but his own problems are a lot worse - and real...

Tea Party Day came and went......... and your taxes are still too high! I like the whole rallying-type thing for show, but I'll be more excited around Election Day. Our post on the Primary Day Odds was a total success - 31 posts, which was our highest since the Sonia Sotomayor Slam-a-Thon. We even had a couple candidates comment. The opinion was generally that I was spot on - as usual. What else would you expect? Speaking of Election Day, I got a call from the Florence GOP, asking me to volunteer a day at the Headquarters. Funny, the kid calling me was one who ragged on me on Facebook a month ago. Everyone knows I'm out of town. Maybe this kid was on Auto Pilot. See, there is no test for being a volunteer.....

Today's 'Yes, You Are On Long Island Moment': I'm at KFC, and this girl walks in.... It's 50 degrees, raining, the Sun is nowhere to be seen ..... and she's wearing Sunglasses - inside! No, not the ones they make you wear after the Glaucoma Test. The huge, JAP-y ones that your girlfriend adopted last year, but they've been wearing for decades here...

I read that OJ Simpson is having a pretty nice time in jail. He's even made friends with the local gay inmates. Word is, they call him 'Papa OJ'. OJ hanging with The Sisters reminds me of Goldmine in 'Life'....'Hey OJ, is you gonna eat Yo' Cornbread ????' Wonder how the search to find the real killers is going anyway. OJ kills two people, and they all love him. Bernie Madoff bilks a bunch of people their money, and he's constantly getting his ass kicked in the joint - this is Justice, I guess....

"On every unauthoritative exercise of power by the legislature, must the people rise in rebellion, or their silence be misconstrued as a surrender of that power to them? If so, how many rebellions should we have had already?"

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Happy Sunday! This weekend was another example of our ever-changing life here... I know, I know - change in life is constant, but could I at least keep the same job for more than six months? Actually, it should all be good as I start a new gig for a Mercedes dealer here. Even though the last job didn't work out, I left on OK terms - I didn't throw a tantrum once, and I never blogged about it. See, I'm maturing.... By back on the market, we're on a mission to find a decent woman, but we'll settle for a few good dates at this point. BTW, the pic above is some friends in between sets from my last show in August. Problem is, they're all married, and married people generally stay at home....

First off, the weather today: upper 60's, with a slight breeze, with some small showers coming in tonight and tomorrow. In short, too nice a day to be blogging. We made a nice recovery from last week's fall to Number 20 on BNN. After a few good posts, we went back up to Number 6 (actually 5 if you take away Sunlit Uplands being on there twice). I have no idea how their influence rating works - all I know is, I blog, my rating is better. I do wish we got a Mulligan for being MIA at wakes and funerals all last week.....

New York politics gets funnier and funnier: in addition to the cent per ounce tax on sugared drinks they'd do enforce, a state assemblyman wants to make it illegal for restaurants to add salt to food during the cooking process. I guess the guy is a Vegan, or he orders out a lot, and doesn't cook much. I picture every bridge to New Jersey jampacked with traffic, and every restaurant in the Garden State booked a week in advance. Good luck with that bill, Moron!

Word locally is that some of our candidates in the 6th leave a bit to be desired. One was descibed to me as 'Flaky', and another mentions God a bit too much in their material for my comfort. Call me a Secularist, but I prefer to keep Church and State separate. I love God too, and I talk to him every night - I just think he doesn't take sides in politics and wars...

It was an interesting Sunday on Fox News , as usual. I got to see Michele Bachmann for the first time, and it seems like someone put a bit of a leash on her, judging by the comparisons I'd heard about. If she could tone down the 'Anti-American' comments, she actually had a couple decent talking points on Health Care today. Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right: what did we learn from the Obama-Palin Nuke Debate? That we should defer to a more knowledgable Third Party!

Here's a question I have for the SCGOP today. I read a few Facebook notes from attendees here about their 1000 mile trek to 'Nawlins. How did Karen get there? Please at least tell me it was Coach.... Glynn Willis is making his run for Florence City Council official this week. If you don't vote for him, you are a partisan idiot. Glynn is as good and honest as they come, and luckily, many Democrats are staying out of his way for an election many on the other side wished he had won 2 years ago....

Since it went so well last time, when should I post about Obama's next Supreme Court Justice nominee? At least there weren't any death threats.... Remember when to be on the Supreme Court, you HAD TO BE A JUDGE? Now, it seems like an online degree from Capella University is enough - as long as you didn't have a trail of your rulings... It's almost like 'American Idol' or 'Survivor' - don't stand out, play it safe and you'll eventually have a shot at SCOTUS. Sad......

We'll leave it at that for now. I have to go on Match.com, and see if I'm still pulling an O-fer on my Winks.... The pickings are better here, but I could use a little help - how do I become 4 inches taller, and make about $50,000 for a year?????

It was a bit of a slow week for the cartoonists. There were a couple OK ones related to the Atty General's suing against Health Care, and the Russia-US arms treaty, with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the background. But this one struck a personal chord with me. It's a bit ironic that so many people jump on my case about setting a bad example with my mouth and where I go out on occasion, but I'll say this: I spend a lot less than the RNC or GOP does, and I sure as hell never billed a tab at the Trophy Club on the company account!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

No, I didn't take this one - I swiped it from a friend's Facebook page. Apparently, soemone got their dog into a Met game today. Maybe it's just me, but I'm pretty sure it's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog... 'It's great to be here at Citi Field - it's a beautiful stadium..... FOR ME TO POOP ON !!! I love to watch de Mets play - normally I have to eat grass when I want to puke. I KEEED, I KEEED '.......

Friday, April 09, 2010

'It has been said that all Government is an evil. It would be more proper to say that the necessity of any Government is a misfortune... This necessity however exists, and the problem to be solved is not which form of Government is perfect - but rather which of the forms is least imperfect.'

Yes folks, there's less than two months left until the Republican Primary... The camps are now getting into high gear - although some appear to be stuck in first gear, or still looking for the keys. That's not our problem. Today, our job is to give the odds of a candidate's chance at victory in June.

We'd like to thank the Hilton Vegas Hotel for letting us use their odds board for the next 60 days, although we still think we should get comped for our poker chips at the Blackjack table. Anywho, our equation for each candidate's odds is very simple: we took the percentage of votes we think he/she will get, and divided 100 by that number. Hence, a candidate who gets 10% has odds of 10-1, 25% is a 4-1, and so on. Of course, a candidate who is only pulling 10% of the vote has far worse than a 10-1 chance of winning, but let's keep it simple.

We'll be honest, a few races are not our forte. In the 3rd and 4th Congressional district races, we haven't paid much attention. No one Upstate gives a rat's ass about the Pee Dee, so why should we care about them, right? If you think my analysis of those races are off, you're probably right, so don't bother complaining about it.... Anyway, onto the odds:

Governor

Henry McMaster 2-1

Andre Bauer 3-1

Gresham Barrett 3-1

Nikki Haley 5-1

McMaster's base is pretty solid, but can he get to 50% in the runoff. Bauer and Barrett are neck and neck in the race for the runoff. Haley seems to have lost a little traction since the first debate, and she's developed a reputation for canceling local events.

Lt. Governor

Bill Connor 2-1

Ken Ard 2-1

Larry Richter 6-1

Krista Cogdill 10-1

Eleanor Kitzman 20-1

There still is no clear leader between Connor and Ard. Connor has the right-wing and Tea Party votes, Ard the more center and establishment votes. Cogdill started late, and has reports of a stalker right off the bat, which is more than Kitzman has had. Wisely, she has dropped out as we wrote this post. Richter will be somewhat of a force, although he has more baggage than a Louis Vuitton outlet store.

Treasurer

Converse Chellis 2-5

Curtis Loftis 5-2

Loftis had some major missteps right off the bat in front of party faithful, and hasn't had any traction since. Chellis seems pretty secure for another term.

Attorney General

Leighton Lord 3-2

Alan Wilson 3-2

Robert Bolchoz 5-1

This one appears to be heading for a runoff, with Lord and Wilson ready to do battle. Wilson has the party faithful, while Lord has raised money pretty well, and has good private connections. Should be interesting. Bolchoz is in a bad spot, and looks to be the odd man out right now.

Comptroller General

Richard Eckstrom 2-5

Mike Meilinger 5-2

Creepy e-mails aside, Eck has done an excellent job, and will roll to the win. He'll lose some points for his boo-boo, and his closeness to Mark Sanford, but he'll survive.

Superintendent of Education

Mick Zais even odds

Brent Nelsen 5-1

Kelly Payne 7-1

Gary Burgess 17-1

Elizabeth Moffly 17-1

Glenn Price 25-1

For such a crowded field, Zais has a shot at winning without a runoff. Nelsen is the only candidate who has actually improved his reputation since announcing, but Zais has the support of the SCGOP. We had high hopes for Payne, but the Eck e-mail scandal probably hurt her more than it did Eckstrom. Moffly is the only returning candidate, but she disappeared for four years, instead of building a base. Burgess has baggage, and Price is a non-factor.

US Senate

Jim DeMint 1-20

Susan Gaddy 20-1

We hope Gaddy doesn't miss the $10,000 she just dropped to get her name on the ballot for a shot at running against probably the most popular Republican in SC right now, because she would have better spent it at Vegas or Powerball.... And making your Senator waste money on an unnecessary race does not make you popular with the party faithful...DeMint rolls easily.

US House - 1st District

Paul Thurmond 4-1

Tim Scott 9-2

Tumpy Campbell 6-1

Katherine Jenerette 8-1

Mark Lutz 15-1

Clark Parker 30-1

Ken Glasson 30-1

Stovall Witte 30-1

Larry Kabrovsky 30-1

Just get in the top two, then worry about the runoff is the mantra here. This clusterf**k of a race to replace Henry Brown seems to be clearing up a bit between Thurmond and Scott. The key is to get the votes of the rest of them. Campbell has not shown that he is is father's son during the race, like Thurmond has. Jenerette has her work cut out, but it wouldn't surprise us to see her beat Campbell, being the most well-known Grand Strand candidate, and the only woman - but she may have to settle for Miss Congeniality.

US House - 2nd District

Joe Wilson 1-5

Phil Black 5-1

Joe Black might be a better name, because he is dead meat in this race. There are some Republicans who will give a no to Joe for 'You Lie', but Wilson rolls onto a rematch with that other guy who I can never remember. Seriously, it's not coming to me - again!

US House - 3rd District

Jeff Duncan 3-1

Rex Rice 3-1

Mike Vasovski 7-1

Richard Cash 20-1

Joe Grimaud 20-1

Neal Collins 20-1

This one is headed for a Duncan-Rice showdown in the runoff to replace Barrett. Mike Vasovski should place third due to his announcing early, but South Carolinians don't like Yankee names they have trouble pronouncing - trust me, I know. Cash, Collins and Grimaud (sounds like a Law Firm) are also-rans from what I can tell.

US House - 4th District

Bob Inglis 3-1

Trey Gowdy 7-2

David Thomas 7-1

Christina Jeffrey 7-1

Jim Lee 9-1

Will Bob Inglis hold onto his seat? We think he'll at least get to the runoff, but in the Upstate, who knows? Thomas has suprisingly not gotten on track, especially with fundraising. Jeffrey will pull a solid share from the Tea Party, but doesn't make the final two. Inglis' pitch for Lee was probably the Kiss of Death. Should be the tightest and craziest race of them all.....

US House - 6th District

Nancy Harrelson 3-2

Colleen Payne 3-1

Jim Pratt 3-1

In an wide open race just looking for a front runner, no one has seemed to grab the bull by the huevos yet. That would benefit Harrelson, which is why she gets the slight edge today. Guys, you have less than 60 days to cover 15 counties - Get To It !!!! Pratt has intimated that he's got the money, but he needs to win June 8th first, and he needs more than the Tea Party supporters to get him there. The truth is, most voters will not recognize any of them on the ballot, unless one of them takes that extraordinary step. You don't win by accident....

We'll update these odds every once in a while, and see how we did in June. Congrats to Mick Mulvaney, Mark Hammond, Hugh Weathers and Bob Livingston for getting a free ride to November....

What Do Cabbage Patch Kids and Bernie Madoff Have In Common - Aside From Him Looking Like This One?

We won't drag it out... Bernie Madoff's Upper East Side luxury apartment was sold this week for about $8 million. And who'd they sell it to? None other than Al Kahn, who made his money pushing a couple things called The Cabbage Patch Kids and Pokemon.... Initially, Kahn balked at purchasing the pad,fearing what he called 'Bad Karma', but in the end, the view and the price were too much to pass on. Proceeds from the sale will go to Madoff's Ponzi Scheme victims, who now only are owed $150 billion....

We couldn't help but notice the irony of the sale... The Cabbage Patch Guy is the new owner, meanwhile, Madoff is busy being some prisoners own personal Hand Puppet. Time for another Cock Meat Sandwich, Bernie... BTW, I noticed this picture while searching for a Cabbage Patch shot.

You know you've made it when you've been Cabbage Patched... Is it just me, or does Sarah Palin have Cankles???

Time for another one of THOSE stories..... Most of you know that I don't have a romantic bone in my body. Had it amputated years ago - if I ever had one at all. Nope, we don't make a non-pragmatic decision on anything, although it seems that we might be a bit wrong on one of them.....

Our thought has always been that an engagement ring was a superfluous purchase - a waste of cash, to be honest. Especially if the girls jets, then all that cash is gone, right? Not so, according to a recent court decision.... Meet John Gunther and Danielle Cavalieri. The two were engaged in March 2008, and they remained that way until October of the same year, when Gunther broke off the wedding. Cavalieri says he broke it off due to his seeing another woman, he says it was mutual. We could care less, what we're thinking about was who got the bling-bling. Why? It was a $19,000 ring !!!! Holy Smokey....

Well, Gunther asked for the ring back,which even we think is being an Indian Giver... and Cavalieri said no. So, Gunther filed suit in court. According to Supreme Court Judge F. Dana Winslow - a guy - no matter what the reason, Gunther is entitled to the ring back, because the ring is not a gift. It is 'property given in contemplation of a marriage which has not occured', and any breakup reason is irrelevant. In essence, an engagement ring is a very pricey carrot on the end of a fishing line, and until you are married, the fisherman (fiance') can reel in that line at any time, for any reason....

We're a bit torn on this ruling. We think it's pretty cheesy for a guy to expect the ring back, but we're glad as hell to find out that we can do it legally..... Armed with this new and exciting information, we plan on asking hot chicks to marry us on a daily basis, until we finally land a lunker, to use Bass Fishing lingo. Now, where should we start?

Here s our latest attempt to keep you guys in the know of the newest rock music out there - that is, in between the Lynyrd Skynyrd and Van Halen I tracks that pop up every five minutes from your local radio station....

Let's say you're artist-producer Danger Mouse (Gnarlz Barkley) and Portland-based and P-Luv fave indie-rock band The Shins leader James Mercer.... you meet at a Danish music festival in 2004, you find out that you're a big fan of each other. What do you do? You wait five years, then do an album together! It took a while, but Broken Bells is the result. Here is the first clip from their CD, titled 'The High Road'. It definitely has Mouse's production touch on it, but we like the groove....

We return to one of our regualr posts after a week or two off. Yeah, things got pretty crazy for a while there, but after a few adjustments, the plan is still on track for 2010. It started with our well-publicized trip (publicized by us, not really anyone else) back to Flotown. To say with a few exceptions that it was a disappointment would be an understatement. Jack was quite the dull boy, for it was all work, and no play. Thanks to P-Luv, Moye , Earl, Ben, Chris and Paige for helping out, and going to dinner with me. I can't say much else for the rest. Lots of unanswered calls and texts......

As for politics, getting called up with no sleep and 700 miles on the road to read the Republican creed against my protestations was fun - especially being intro'd not as the Vice-Chair of the 6th District, but as 'an interesting character'. To say that there are people actively working against me behind my back in Flotown would be mild. My favorite would be the one who e-mailed my off-color remark to every County Chair in the District.... Here is my advice: luckily for you, I did not retaliate, but I can always change my mind. If you would like to see my compliation of your 'greatest hits' on SC6 - which links to BlogNetNews' 350,000 hits a week, and it a Green Check blog on Google - meaning I put your name anywhere on it, and it's the first thing that pops up on a Google search - keep screwing with me. You have everything to lose, and I have nothing to lose. The choice is yours..... Onto our regular fuzziness:

If a 2:30PM post seems off our regular schedule, there's a good reason. I got fired and hired in the same day! I FINALLY start at Mercedes-Benz on Monday. It's back to dress shirts, slacks and ties again. Pray it all works out...... The other distraction was obviously the loss of Loisann. It's been a tough week for a lot of people. The wake was tough, and the funeral tougher, but by then, the shock had worn off a bit, and reality has set in...... It has affected me in one strange way. Lois' beloved Rangers are a point down with a home-and-home series left with the Flyers. I'd never picture myself doing this, but this Islander fan will be rooting for the Blue Shirts. After that, it's OVER!

Weather report time: yesterday, it was 92 friggin' degrees in New York City. Out here on the Island, it was a more comfortable 85, which is about 28 degrees above normal. Alas, it ends tonight, with the upper 50's and low 60's forecast for the upcoming week...... With Spring, comes baseball season. Opening Day bullpen fiasco aside, the Yanks look pretty good so far, and even the Mets are competitive, and the Braves are 2-0. The Orioles - eh, not so good....

Onto politics. I'm pretty suprised by the number of last minute entries into some of the races. Here is my advice to all of the last minute shoppers: you guys are all idiots..... To the two ladies who decided to run from zero-to-Lt. Governor, yes! You have no shot at winning, but you might have had you started four or six months ago. These races take money, and they take effort - not just a Skype camera from your office. If you're running becuase you think Connor and Ard are weak, then you could have done this in late 2009. You snoozed, you will lose......

Not to self: as soon as this kid is done parallel parking around my car, park the car in the driveway from now on........Death and Taxes: the word in Flotown this week was the passings of former County Councilman and State Senator Tom Smith, and ex-Florence Mayor Pro-Tem Madison Rainwater. I never met Smith, but Ken Ard, who beat Smith in 2004, never said any bad things about him. I never met Rainwater as well, but the family is as old and familiar to Florence as Timrod School. Our condolensces to both families.....

Lastly, here are my two cents on the recent tax troubles of State Representative Kris Crawford: like most financial matters, the issue seems a bit cloudy. His old CPA says he didn't give him the info, Crawford says the CPA was late in sending the info he gave him. This much is true - a good CPA is worth his weight in gold, and it sounds like Crawford had a bad one. I'm actually a bit surprised that the SCDOR has gone to all this trouble to publicly embarrass Kris by arresting him over it. Word was, he met with them, paid the disputed amount, and they still booked him? Yes, Crawford has his detractors, both in Florence and Columbia. He's a little cocky and not the friendliest guy you'd ever meet. But, he's smart, he works hard, and just because he didn't cave in during the Sanford hearings doesn't mean he should have a bullseye on his back. It'll be interesting to see who was doing the shooting...... Hopefully, since it's resolved, it'll just go away....

Moye Graham and the Gang Remind All Statewide Candidates That You Can't Win Without Clarendon......

This is true, folks. I think the last person to win without Clarendon County was John C. Calhoun - but I could be wrong there.. Anyway, the Clarendon County GOP is having their monthly meeting tonight. It's the usual time and place - meeting starts at 7PM, at the French Hens Restaurant on Boyce Street in Manning, right across from the Courthouse.

Tonight's meeting is a good one, as usual. Attorney General Henry McMaster will be there, as well as Secretary of State Mark Hammond, and Representative Murrell Smith. Other candidates attending include Superintendent of Education candidates Mick Zais and Gary Burgess. Moye has always been able to draw good guests, and with the Primary only 60 days away, there's good reason. Come early to get a good seat, because they've been filling up lately, and also enjoy the fine fare the French Hens has to offer...

"I'd love to pleasure you, Honey.... But I gotta see if my friend request on Facebook was accepted first....."

Yes, even we will admit that we pay too much attention to our Inbox sometimes. Honestly, we don't even know why, because we get a useful e-mail about once every six months - unless you count the SPAM comments for online phamaceutical stores on a post we did back in 2006....

It appear that we are not alone, folks. A recent study found that most people are addicted to checking their E-Mail - and at some pretty odd moments too. Over 32% of Americans admit to checking their E-mail on their lunch break (I'm one of them). A healthy 24% of people take their laptops or I-Phones to the toilet, and check for E-mails there. Sounds a bit like a crack addiction to us. Lastly, and perhaps most odd, 11% of us regularly check their E-mails DURING SEX..... Folks, if you feel the need to go online, while some of us don't get any at all, we will gladly switch places with you, and keep your lady occupied.....

Time for one of THOSE stories.... A London-based 'artist' recently unveiled his latest achievement - a bust of singer Amy Winehouse made from 3000 LEGO pieces. As P-Luv would say 'Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?' While he did include a cigarette in her lips, we really don't think any Amy tribute is complete without a drink in one hand, and a needle in the other....

As for originality, the guy fails as well. There apparently are LEGO Amy Winehouses EVERYWHERE ..... Just Google 'Amy Winehouse LEGO', and see all of them. ART ?????!!!

Congrats to Brett Farve. While some of us were wondering if Favre was getting too old to play football, the bigger question may be is Brett Farve just getting plain old? This week, Farve's daughter, Brittany, gave birth to a baby boy, named Parker Brett (Brett better be in there somewhere, right?). That officially makes the Farve's Grandma and Grandpa. It also makes them THAT couple that Billy Crystal talked about in City Slickers.... Still, even though Brittany Farve might be a bit young to be popping out puppies (she's 21), it's a lot later than Brett was when he became a Daddy (19). For those of you needing a refresher on what THAT couple was, here's the clip.....

Dear Abby: I want to marry a nice, sweet girl who just completed her prison sentence for abandoning her illegitimate child. My problem is, my Dad sells drugs, my mother died in an asylum of syliphitic insanity, my two sisters are hookers, and my older brother is awaiting trial for killing his girlfriend's husband. My younger brother is a US Congressman. Should I tell my bride the awful truth about my younger brother? PETE W. Gilchrist, TX.

Monday, April 05, 2010

No, we weren't able to attend from 700 miles away, but there was a nice crowd on hand today from all appearances as the Florence County Republican Party had the ribbon cutting ceremony for it's 2010 Campaign Headquarters. It's located on Sally Hill Rd, just off of North Cashua Dr. For those of you who depend more on landmarks, Sally Hill and Cashua is where Mr. Mark's FunPark is.....

The members worked very hard on getting the office ready, which is set up with an inside press conference room, phone bank and lots of room to pick up swag for your favorite candidates. No, there are no recycled Reino for Congress signs there.... Thanks to Matt Floyd for making the place available for the GOP. It sure beats the old digs. I once made calls from what used to be the old Rent a Wreck on Palmetto and Irby. Good location, but the amenities left something to be desired....

Jamie Rogers addresses the audience....

In an effort to make the locals feel that I do think they are doing a good job, I'll say this. They are more organized and motivated than what the GOP here was previously. It's only natural when the work is split up between numerous people. On the whole, the party is in much better shape and a lot stronger than when I first joined, and they deserve credit for their hard work. Good Job , guys. Now if I could just keep them off my butt for a while..... ;)

Thanks to Betty Dowling for posting these on her Facebook page, where I 'borrowed' them....

So, you're a famous sports personality or a TV celeb - you have everything a guy could want. Cars, fame, money, all the perks a man needs - even chicks lined up from here to Waco. Only problems are 1) YOU'RE MARRIED, and 2) Your girlfrined will undoubtedly sell her proof of your affair to TMZ or The Enquirer. Aside from wearing a condom and taking it home, a guy is basically screwed when it comes to covering up the e-trail, right? WRONG !!!

There's a new app on I-Phone, ironically called TigerText (or CougarText if you're a girl, I guess). Much like a message on Mission Impossible, the text message self-destructs in as little as 1 minute. Unless your girlfriend is living upstairs at your house (hint: avoid banging the Nanny), it would be pretty foolproof. OK, just to be safe, make sure she lives at least two houses away.....

They swear that the name TigerText has nothing to do with Tiger Woods, but we'll leave that up to you. For those of you who pimp with a Blackberry, there is good news. A TigerText app will be available soon for you too. We can't wait to try it out. Now, if we could just find a girl first........

The cartoonists came back in fine stead from their recent mental vacation this week. We had a hard time choosing from the strong crop - the RNC Bondage Club made a couple of them, as well as the Vatican's most recent sex scandal. Even Tiger Woods made another splash with his return to golfing, but none of them can beat Uncle Sam with a Tramp Stamp.....

Just a quick prayer to ask that Butler somehow pull off one more upset, and knock Duke off in the NCAA Championship tonight. There are few schools that we actually hate. We hav problems with Texas and Ohio State. We don't like Notre Dame. We HATE Duke. Not so much the team, but the fans.....

In the North Carolina-Duke rivalry, we have always been a Tar Heel fan, but we didn't particularly hate Duke. Then we went to East Carolina for two years, and every early winter, we got to go to Cameron , and get our asses kicked by Duke. Worse yet was the abuse of the Cameron Geeks, most of whom were private school dicks from Long Island and New Jersey. Getting thumped by 40 points wa bad enough, but enduring the endless 'Public School, Private School' chants was acid on my skin. Hell, even if you beat them, they'd chant 'That's alright, that's OK - you're gonna work for us someday'..... A-hole's.

Even worse, Tom Grimes picked them from the start to win it, and the last thing we all need is to inflate Tom's ego even more. So, pray to your favorite deity, buddha doll or rock for a Duke loss.... Hopefully, we can say 'The Butler Did It!'. Sorry.........