Christina Aguilera melts at Etta James funeral – in photos

CAN we an analyse what was trickling down Christina Aguilera’s leg as she belted out At Last during Etta James’ funeral? Look past the Bungee for Jesus hanging down her god-fearing bosoms, the fans filming in church, and that long rasping note that sounds exactly like the noise aliens make as they insert a chip beneath the skin on your forehead (all plastic surgeons are alien enablers) – and get a load of the liquid.

We polled the Anorak typing pool and have a list of possible explanatons:

1. Xtina is melting
2. The buttock fillers have popped
3. Unable to break through the crust of make-up, powdered Toffee Crisp and tanning gels, the tears have formed an underground river and reached the surface via a small tan-free gap in her navel
4. She’s wet herself
5. The vial of baby urine she keeps tied to her thigh in case of a random urine tests ha broken
6. It’s what Etta James would have wanted

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Christina Aguilera performs at the funeral of singer Etta James, Saturday, Jan. 28, 2012, at Greater Bethany Community Church City of Refuge in Gardena, Calif. James died last Friday at age 73 after battling leukemia and other ailments, including dementia. She was most famous for her classic "At Last," but over her decades-long career, she became revered for her passionate singing voice. (AP Photo/Ringo H.W. Chiu)