As you are reading this, it is 6:00 AM on a Sunday morning on the West Coast.
No one should be up this early to do anything unless they are completely naked and they have someone else of like mind lying next to them.
I hope you are one of those lucky

This:
Now, you non-Spanish speakers may not understand the picture I just showed you. It is, ostensibly, a movie poster for a film called The ChickenFucker. No, this is not the South Park episode,
this is something else entirely. Live action. Apparently. I know I have questions. You may too:
1- Is the

Banner image via MMQB.com
Voiceover by the Ghost of John Facenda: "October 16th 2016. The Minnesota Vikings enter their bye week with a record of 5-0. Built on the strength of a furious defense and a ball control offense, the Vikings surge to the top of every prognosticators Power Rankings and the

So, this feels appropriate. Originally, WCS was going to write the bulk of this preview while I, the "recovering" Steelers fan was going to add in some comic relief and rejoice in the fact that I don't give a fuck if Ben dies on the field or not, if Mike

There is no lesser footy, talk amongst yourselves. I am not doing well with this, and celebrity deaths generally have zero effect on me. Obama will be the next one that hits so absurdly hard.
Last performance of the song that introduced me to Soundgarden (thanks again, WKNC 88.1):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RXkjrZ_BZk

So, Valentine's Day has come and gone. And you, gentle kommentists, thought you were in the clear.
You did the dinner or the flowers or the candy or the whatever it is your girl loves. Or maybe you did all those things, you lover boy you. And your girl was looking

COWARDLY MEDIA WHORE TRADING JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY FOR ACCESS: Good evening, and welcome to CNN. Tonight, we turn to a somewhat lighter topic than normal: picking the winner of the upcoming Super Bowl. With us tonight is professional faux-liberal doormat Alan Colmes...
COLMES: Thank you. I'm just so happy to be...
WHORE: And

Here we are.
The dogs have sprung from their caves, muzzles saturated with blood and baring their sabre sharp teeth that are eager to rend.
The Jackal King is a slavering cretin with the heart of a pimp, the soul of a harpy, and the self restraint of Jeffrey Dahmer. Hate drips

(apologies to Lennon and McCartney for that one)
Yep, I'm back.
/everyone groans
Even though thanks to a snowstorm I technically never left. But still, I haven't seen you folks since last year. Seriously.
First and foremost.....Many thanks to my good friend ballsofsteelandfury for filling in for me last week.
I'm sorry, that was mean.

“Winter lies too long in country towns; hangs on until it is stale and shabby, old and sullen. “
Willa Cather wrote that and I couldn’t tell you who Willa Cather is if you promised me a tureen full of bourbon, a rack of prime rib, and videos of PK getting

I told ya's last week I was mailing it in. Then I went and got all talky talky typey typey RIGHT AFTER saying I was mailing it in last week. Then a lot of you made fun of me, both publicly and privately. Perhaps I was merely just a week

The DFO Promise

We are The Commentist Party, refugees from another site that have banded together to create a safe place to hang out. This is a nice site, a place for civil discourse and dick jokes. If you want to stay at a fun joint with liveblogs during football games and a great community, we’re ecstatic to have you. Unfortunately, if you leave offensive material in the comments, we’ll have to send you home. Commenting here is a privilege, not a right.

The name of the Washington Football Team is a grating slur that pisses us off every time we see it. So now, they are the Washington [*Redacteds] in the comments.

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DFO FAQ

Q: I signed up for your dumb site, why can't I comment?
A: We approve every Commentist by hand, because we're looking to create a fun community here.
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