Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Pirates do tend to be pretty promiscuous.

[hilarious] The Louisville Chugger

"Cut the top off a whiffle ball bat, plug the small hole in the bottom, pour in the beer. Chug the beer, then spin around the bat for the amount of time it took you to chug said beer. Afterwards, try to hit the empty can and not fall."Click on the image below to start the video...

Paris Hilton’s ‘Get Out of Jail’ party is being planned

Rick Hilton, father of Paris Hilton, is shopping around his daughters "Get Out of Jail" party, and he's already contacted the best clubs in Vegas, including Pure, the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and the Palms.

"He was originally asking for a $50,000 cash fee to be paid, as well as accommodations and flights," said our source. "Pure and Hard Rock said 'no' flat out, but George Maloof, who owns the Palms, didn't say yes or no. He's very good pals with Paris and is the one who once hooked her up with Britney Spears" ... Rick's big party-push has been put on hold. Still, insiders say they're positive an out-of-the-slammer soiree remains in the works and will be even more expensive than Rick originally had in mind. "Her cost has gone up," said our informer. » Article here

[new trend] high-rise jeans on way up?

High-waisted jeans are on the rise. So it's goobye muffintop at last as retailers report the shape-enhancing new arrivals are walking out the door.

David Jones has reported that the high-waisted style is the fastest growing category. And other major retailers including Jeans West and Sportsgirl have jumped on the trend.

"They give you a waist, shape your backside and work well with this season's wedge heels,'' said David Jones women's wear general manager David Bush. We are finding that customers, who have had their fill of low-rise jeans, have gone to the other extreme."

"Kate Hudson was spotted in our jeans in New York three weeks ago and there are waiting lists for them in London,'' said 18th Amendment owner Rachel Rose."They give the illusion of lengthening the leg and narrowing the waist,'' Ms Dawson said. "They also eradicate the dreaded muffintop.'' » Article here

Photoworthy: the swimming tiger (part 2)

Dude gets shot 6-times, survives, it was his friend who shot him.

Police said a man survived being shot six times by someone he knew.The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office issued an arrest warrant for Yves Baroulette.

Baroulette's accused of going to Tristan Green's home on Saturday and shooting him in the stomach, face and legs. Baroulette then fled the scene of the shooting. The sheriff's office said the two knew each other. » Article here

How the U.S. views the rest of the world:

Teen scares burglar with samurai sword?

A teenager with a brown belt in karate used a samurai sword to scare off a burglar who was after his PlayStation 3 video game console.

Last Friday afternoon, Damian Fernandez and his 15-year-old sister, Deanne Fernandez, were home alone while their parents were at work when they heard knocking on the front door. Moments later, two men were prying the front door unlocked, prompting Deanne to hide in her closet.

"I was so scared," she said. As her brother slept in the next room, the burglars ransacked their parents' room, taking some jewelry before moving on to what they were really after -- a PlayStation 3.

According to a police report, one of the burglars kicked in Deanne's bedroom door. She said she could see his foot through the closet panels. The burglar found the empty PlayStation 3 box and ran out of the room, but Damian was waiting for him. "Once I saw him take off running back, I jumped off my (bunk) bed and I grabbed my sword … and I just waited for him," he said.

Damian said he lunged at him with his samurai sword, striking him in the chest. "He freaked out," Damian said. The burglar ran out of the house with Damian chasing him down the road. When police arrived, a K-9 officer located the burglar hiding behind a neighbor's palm tree. The second burglar got away. » Article here

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."