“Ooooh, let me! Let me! I know you are that guy from ‘The Spider and the Fly’ right?”
Or
“Wait! Seriously, do you think I look anything like a fly?”
Or
“Oh man, you guys really go all out for Halloween huh? What is this sticky stuff?”

“But I don’t taste like chicken”
“Why didn’t I just cross the road”
“Why don’t we go to my place for dinner”
“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
“Hang on a sec, I have to take this call”
“Have you seen my car keys?”

[interior decorator tactic] I love what you’ve done with the place but there is still alot of potential. Let’s start by moving me over there. Yes. Off the web. Just trust me on this one. It will really open the place up.

[restaurant customer tactic] Waiter!!! There is a fly in my soup!! Yes, he is over there now… but he was in my soup!

You seriously have not seen “Arachnophobia”? Best movie with your kind ever! Is it ok that I said “your kind”? Sorry. Hope that not came across as offensive. I just get all excited when talking about Frank Marshal movies. Genius! Right? Am I right? You seem distant…

“But still she was there, who was there before Harper, and before the first stone of Vancouver; and she served none but herself, drinking the blood of Chicken and HappyTrees, bloated and grown fat with endless brooding on her feasts, weaving webs of shadow; for all living things were her food, and her vomit darkness… Ahhhh”