Have I fucked up?

My SIL is pregnant, she's the first of my siblings / siblings' partners to be so.

I was watching Hospital and there was an amazing story about a woman who was in hospital thinking she was having a miscarriage but she gave birth to her very premature baby on her own in the bathroom (the baby was fine in the end).

I texted the whatsapp group with my siblings and their partners about it because it was such an amazing story but now I am panicking because I'm worried it was a really insensitive thing to do given that my SIL is pregnant? I feel really stupid because I wasn't evening thinking.

The reason I am worried is she has now left that group with no comment or explanation which is really weird for her and I am terrified I've offended her.

😭 so stupid of me because it's not like a forgot she's pregnant. It's just the kind of thing we would always have talked about before and I haven't adjusted my behaviour. Stupid stupid stupid. I'll text her separately to say sorry

Yep, apology needed. My friend posted in a WhatsApp group about her SIL having a still birth when I was 30 odd weeks pregnant. I understood that she still needed the support from her friends but I cried and we had a discussion about the insensitivity. We're fine and I'm sure you will be too.

this is so something i would do. I permanantly walk round with my big toe tickling my tonsils. Text her and apologise. Just say what you've written here. Im sure she would appreciate it then all move on.

Going against the thread I don't think you've done that much wrong if it is the kind of thing you'd usually message about. When I was pregnant I was surrounded by stories of unhappy endings to pregnancies and just assumed I was being a bit over sensitive

A quick approach to apology saying sorry that was a bit insensitive but really OP, I would not get too worried fgs the whole world cannot tiptoe round pregnant women for fear of upsetting someone's sensitivites. She will have a very very long pregnancy if she gets upset or huffy everytime there is something on the TV, news, radio, social media or some one talks about a pregnancy or birth that wasn't txt book perfect

I'm sure she will be ok maybe just didn't want to see discussion developing about that topic. A few people said to me after I got to 24 weeks that my baby could be born then and would be OK. Just bad small talk really but I understand sometimes people run out of things to say and didn't mean anything by it.

I don't think you've done anything wrong either. My family has a wattsapp group and we discuss all manner of shite on it, including tv shows. Just because she's pregnant doesn't mean that she has to be shielded from 'bad' stories.

Your SIL shouldn't be so sensitive. You haven't fucked up, you have just been yourself. If your SIL has left the group because of that she needs to grow up and realise the world doesn't revolve around her just because she is pregnant. It's a bit unforgiving of her to treat you like that.

I don't think you've done anything wrong. Not only do I think that there's no need to treat pregnant women as some special breed who should be shielded from bad pregnancy news, but this wasn't even bad news: it had a happy ending. What's the problem? Yes, she may well be upset by what you posted but IMO that's her issue not yours.

I agree with PPs that she's the one being over sensitive. Assuming that she's not gone through a miscarriage to your knowledge and that tv etc is the kind of stuff you usually chat about, of course. When I was pregnant all and sundry told me about their traumatic birth stories and about a friend/relative that had a miscarriage. I can't say I was thrilled to hear these stories (obviously much worse for those who have gone through them) but I just made the right noises and moved on. Unless there more to the story, it seems like she's making a mountain out of a mole hill

why Would it upset another pregnant woman? I’ve had three babies and this wouldn’t have offended me whilst pregnant. I don’t get why everyone is being so hard on you. If this sort of thing had actually happened to her with tragic consequences then I would say otherwise but as it hasn’t then I think it’s all a bit OTT.

Miss, when I was pregnant with my three children each time I knew of someone who’d lost a baby. Not stillbirths but miscarriages, losses devastating to them all the same. How a woman gets through stillbirth I just do not know and my heart breaks for them. Each time I felt so fucking lucky that I carried all of mine to term and brought them into the world wriggling and screaming. If you could not see beyond your own experience as a pregnant woman and your pregnant world, I find that really sad. Does being pregnant render you incapable of feeling for another person’s misfortune and in this case total tragedy? I found your “we had a chat about insensitivity” really self absorbed.