Burger Heaven

It’s been waaay too long…well over ten years now since I’ve paid a visit to Burger Heaven. Strange, really, considering that they’re just down the hill. Maybe I’ve developed some sort of food-phobia of New Westminster. Whenever I think of some place to eat it’s usually west of here. There are, actually, a few really good restaurants around town. It’s just that a lot of them are hit or miss. If memory serves, Burger Heaven was always a hit.

Whenever I’m flipping through the Royal City Record, our local rag, I notice Burger Heaven has a 2 for 1 coupon. As there wasn’t a copy handy at the office, I downloaded the page from their PDF version and clipped out the coupon. You’d figure that’d be as good as the newspaper coupon, no? Apparently not. I was asked if I made a photo copy of the coupon. When I said, “No”, the server checked with her manager, came back and told us they’d accept it only this time. Isn’t the idea of offering a deal at your restaurant to drum up business? Oh, well. All that doesn’t matter one whit. What matters is the food!

Aside from the “regular” burgers, Burger Heaven offers up three ginormous varieties. The Ernie’s Mile High, if you can’t make out the description above, is two and a half pounds (eight patties) loaded with cheddar, mozza, bacon and shrooms. Not sure how one would tackle such a thing but I’d love to see someone try!

The one person I thought would give it a go, chickened out and went with the Hulk Burger.

The Gut likes his burgers and he likes ’em large. The Hulk Burger consists of two six-ounce patties, cheddar, mozza, bacon, mushrooms, onions, tomato and lettuce. He polished this off without so much as a grunt. Kudos, my friend.

You’d think a 2.5 lb. burger would be a tad excessive. Not so much. There’s a pub in Pennsylvania that offers up a 50 pound burger. Yup, you heard me. Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield, PA has a fifty pound burger for $199.99. With three days notice, these folks will drop 200 Quarter-Pounders in front of you in one massive chunk. Mmm. Any takers? BTW, they do a 123-pounder for $399.99. I guess gluttony has no bounds.

I opted for something off the “Top 10” menu…not quite a “Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser”.

My pick today was “The Works” Burger.

This, for me, is a near-perfect burger. All the elements are in place. A beautifully cooked meat patty…thick, juicy, dripping. Real mozzarella and cheddar melting atop mushrooms. Two hefty slabs of thick & smoky pork. And very crisp veg, to boot. The bun at the outset was impressive but, about midway couldn’t hold the weight. A denser, thicker bun (brioche, maybe?) would’ve stepped it up to a ten.

My fellow New Wester, KnightRider, went with the Mexican Meatless Garden Burger, except with beef. This burger looked very tasty although somewhat messy…the kind of burger that one might have to resort to knife and fork. I’m almost certain that there’s an international burger treaty that forbids that type of behavior.

With a whole range of new burger spots opening in Metro Vancouver, Burger Heaven is holding their own. They’ve been putting out great burgers for almost thirty years now. The variations are kind of dated…stuck in the mid 80’s (no Stilton or Tuscan Greens here) but, still, you get a very solid burger whenever that craving hits.