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Bitter Band Chat: Larsen

Last week, we reluctantly sat down with UniSA four-piece, Larsen. Larsen? That sounds like a brand of biscuits. The alt-rockers shared the importance of free beer, Nickelback-induced orgasms and why they haven’t bothered to get real jobs.

Briefly explain why your band doesn’t suck.

What separates us from other bands is that we put in the time and effort to make sure that we get the perfect shampoo to conditioner ratio when showering. We feel that this really comes through in our performances.

How do you deal with the fact that you will never be famous?

For us it’s not about the fame or money. We do it for a far more personal and meaningful reason: free beer.

Why don’t you just give up and get a real job?

Please. Every few weeks we get paid $27 each and hoard free drink cards in the hope that the bar tenders don’t realise the cards we’re using are from two months ago. If that doesn’t sound like a real job, we don’t know what is.

Do you ever plan to move out of your parents’ basement?

Yes and into the garage.

If you do get famous, which you won’t, you’ll almost certainly die young. What’s your ideal death?

OD-ing on a pleasant mixture of burgers, codeine, beer and orgasms while Nickelback’s Photograph plays in the background.

Some say you sound like Nickelback, but worse. Much worse. What do you think of this?

What did John Lennon think when he finished writing Bohemian Rhapsody which then went on to become the biggest hit The Rolling Stones ever had? There’s your answer.

Where are you playing your next yawn-inducing show?

Steven’s mum’s basement.

Thanks guys. You were remarkably average. Catch them at triplejunearthed.com/artist/larsen