Rumors broke recently that Prince Harry has been dating Meghan Markle. She’s 35, she’s on Suits and she was on a couple episodes of Fringe. People went into two modes: “I don’t buy it” and “I must attack this stranger with racism and misogyny.”

Well, the palace has confirmed they are dating. Because Harry came here to be a hot ginge, live a life that makes up for the poor Halloween decisions of his youth, and kick ass, and he’d prefer it if you didn’t objectify him during this serious matter and really he’s quite sorry for the costume thing, so I guess he’s here to kick some ass.

Markle, who is biracial and has a black mother and white father, has been subject to racist comments not only from “social media trolls” which I quote because it’s a real phrase the palace used on palace stationary and the modern world is a strange one, but from British media, including, of course, the Mail:

“Genetically, she is blessed. If there is issue from her alleged union with Prince Harry, the Windsors will thicken their watery, thin blue blood and Spencer pale skin and ginger hair with some rich and exotic DNA.”

Jesus Christ. The Sun also put out a cover story saying Markle is on PornHub. What the story is about is clips of Suits being on PornHub. Sometimes it’s nice to know tabloids are garbage everywhere.

So Harry released a statement. And the statement is…I’m not gonna lie, it’s doing it for me. *fans self with good statement*

This is Prince Harry’s full and powerful statement to newspapers to stop harassing his girlfriend Meghan Markle. pic.twitter.com/xUoYsmKtbF

“But the past week has seen a line crossed. His girlfriend, Meghan Markle, has been subject to a wave of abuse and harassment. Some of this has been very public - the smear on the front page of a national newspaper; the racial undertones of comment pieces; and the outright sexism and racism of social media trolls and web article comments. Some of it has been hidden from the public - the nightly legal battles to keep defamatory stories out of papers; her mother having to struggle past photographers in order to get to her front door; the attempts of reporters and photographers to gain illegal entry to her home and the calls to police that followed; the substantial bribes offered by papers to her ex-boyfriend; the bombardment of nearly every friend, co-worker, and loved one in her life.

Prince Harry is worried about Ms Markle’s safety and is deeply disappointed that he has not been able to protect her. It is not right that a few months into a relationship with him that Ms Markle should be subjected to such a storm. He knows commentators will say this is ‘the price she has to pay’ and that ‘this is all part of the game’. He strongly disagrees. This is not a game - it is her life and his.”

A quick peruse of Meghan Markle will tell you that she’s awesome. From taste in headwear…