Monday, February 27, 2012

I Have Not Perished.

Oh, you.

Would you believe than since I've been sick, I've had emails from literally SEVERAL of you, asking how I'm doing?

I have the best readers in the world.

I have not perished. I did not have pneumonia, which I'm told is a good thing. I did have a case of strep throat that was so bad, they photographed it for medical journals. OK, well they didn't but they could have. It was really gross-looking.

But, after a nice round of antibiotics, I am feeling like my old self again. In keeping with my true style, I'm going to detail for you all of the thoughts I had during my prolonged fever state.

If we started naming our snack foods and giving them a life history, we might snack less. Like, I thought I would start naming Pringles individually and give them Pringle family members, so that I wouldn't eat them.

Someone should make socks attached to mittens. During my fever state, there was a real reason for this, but it has escaped me.

Reality shows should not play on TV late at night. If you've fallen asleep with the TV on and have incorporated the dialogue into your dream, you might wake up trying to scale the bookcase. Much like I did. I totally won, though.

If you're suffering with strep throat or any other respiratory illness, the worst possible book to be reading is "The Stand", a book about a plague that starts like a respiratory illness and then kills most of humanity.

During my fever, I envisioned a purse I could wear on my head. Let's make that happen.

When I am beset with fever, I am a jeopardy master. When I am extremely beset with fever, Alex Trebek tells me so.

During my fevered-state, I figured out that since I can't ever get to anything under the bed, the 'under the bed' should be over the bed. I'll have to contact NASA to make this happen, though.

There you have it, my dear friends: proof-positive that even when you're stone-sober, you can make absolutely no sense. I'll be back tomorrow with another project! Thanks for hanging in there with me!