A customer calls my hair curly fries, cotton candy, and anything else ridiculous. I don't get mad at him, because I think he actually means it as a compliment. I didn't even mind when he told me he prefers my hair in a twist and curl and not a WnG.

One customer pissed me off because he kept trying to tell me how I needed to gel my edges down. I'm not someone who cares about super slick edges. I has to set him straight. Customer or not, don't tell me what to do, you aren't my dad. Hell my dad doesn't tell me what to do to my hair because he knows I'm grown!

One customer pissed me off because he kept trying to tell me how I needed to gel my edges down. I'm not someone who cares about super slick edges. I has to set him straight. Customer or not, don't tell me what to do, you aren't my dad. Hell my dad doesn't tell me what to do to my hair because he knows I'm grown!

Originally Posted by hutch

That's really intrusive. Not sure I completely get the whole practice of slicking edges down. Seems shame-based to me somehow - like one more way of hiding the look of natural hair. (My opinion on this could change, it's just the gut feeling I get for now.)

One customer pissed me off because he kept trying to tell me how I needed to gel my edges down. I'm not someone who cares about super slick edges. I has to set him straight. Customer or not, don't tell me what to do, you aren't my dad. Hell my dad doesn't tell me what to do to my hair because he knows I'm grown!

Originally Posted by hutch

That's really intrusive. Not sure I completely get the whole practice of slicking edges down. Seems shame-based to me somehow - like one more way of hiding the look of natural hair. (My opinion on this could change, it's just the gut feeling I get for now.)

Originally Posted by Korkscrew

Right. And I was actually offended. Now if I'm going for a more polished look, I'll put more effort into trying to get my edges to lie down a bit more, but not just to go to work.

The first time the woman complimented my hair and then after I said "thanks" she said "as long as you like it that's all that matters". I was slightly confused because it sounded as if she thought I didn't like my hair. I thought maybe it was my tone when I said "thanks" so I brushed it off.

Then today at the farmers market these two women selling EOs kept looking at me and I heard them say "she has a pretty face" - I hate that comment by the way, like what the heck does that mean? So one finally says "I love your hair" so I smile and say "thanks" and she's like "well do you love your hair?" and I'm like "yes, I do love it". She's like "really?!?? you love your hair??". Uh "yes". "Oh wow I don't think many people like their curly hair". So I finally tell her I embraced it two years ago after chemical straightening and she tells me she used to get a relaxer and fell in like with her hair for like 2 months then got sick of it again.

Don't project your curl-loathing onto me! I like my hair!! Yes I like it, do I need a t-shirt that says so?? I mean, does it look so bad (to you) that I shouldn't like it!??? She was sincere, but I think it's off to assume that someone doesn't like their features.

Then later, a group of teenagers in Target. They're walking along giggling like teeny-boppers do and one says "She has big hair hehehe".

She was being observant rotfl!

Well I did get hit on a few times today so my big curly hair must not look too bad.

I don't really take offense to someone wondering if I like my hair because the majority of curly heads I've observed dislike their hair and don't know how to take a compliment w/out saying how much they dislike it.

I think a lot of people come to expect we don't like our hair because of our OWN reactions to our hair.

When I was like seven or eight years old there was this sports thing going on at my school and one of my classmates was really good at drawing, so he got asked to do this banner for my class that featured all of the kids. Everyone was normal, funny even, but he drew me as a giant furball with eyes and legs. Being seven it of course hurt my feelings a lot, so much that I actually went and told my teacher about it despite the fact that I was the shyest kid ever and would never speak up. She tried to brush it off, but I was really upset and finally she got freaking furious and made the kid whiteout me out of the drawing, which made everyone get mad at me. Lose lose, dude.

I've had hair stylists call my hair "rustic", complain about it being "too difficult", try to get me to "cut it" or "relax" it because it's "impossible to work with". I even had one grab my hair with total disgust and be like "ugh this is a fro". It's not the fact that he called it a fro, even though it's not, but that he actually meant it as an insult what ticked me off, not to mention that when you go to a hair salon you're not asking them to fix your hair as a favor, it's their job. They always also seemed to find it very weird when I said that I didn't want to chemically alter it, considering that my hair doesn't really like that at all and it has in fact broken off at the root from chemical straightening before, leaving me with horrible bald patches that took an age and a half to grow.

And there's my mom and my sister, finally. Both of them have wavy hair at most - I'm the only one in my entire family with curly hair - and I've had to endure a lifetime of "it looks unkempt", "you look much better when you straighten it", "are you going to actually go out looking like that?", "did you comb your hair?", "you look like you're fresh out of the funny farm", and my favorite "you should relax it" even though both of them were present for the great bald patch debacle of 2000 (circa). My mom also likes to say that my hair only ever looked good when she was in charge of it; this means shaving it all off until I was about three years old (yep) and then forcing it back with gel and a thousand bobby pins, hair elastics and whatever else you can think of that kept my hair totally pinned down and from that I am so used to hair puling and tugging and whatever else that I actually don't feel it anymore.

There's also the random "buy a brush" comment from someone on the street, or whatever.

People suck. The only two people who like my hair at all are my dad and my husband and even though it's looking much better these days, I'm still super self conscious of it.

Awhile back on my casual Twitter account, a guy who really just wanted to insult me for which NFL team I follow, decided to turn to personal insults. He tweeted something along the lines of "Who in the hell wears hair curly like that anymore? You have thoroughly destroyed your head and need to start living in this century."

I was at work and a lady asked me did I individually curl every single strand of my hair to get it so curly smh who in the hell would curly every single strand of their hair, smh what the hell!!!
Then this past week a girl asked me was I born this way??!? Wtf I said "born this way?" She said yea with curly hair or did it just happen.... Smh I laughed for days on that one lol people are to funny and jealous! 😝😝😝

When people say "my hairs just like yours, but i hate it so i straighten it" and then realise what they've said could be seen as offensive and then blabber on about how it looks better on you than them. THE DAMAGE IS DONE.

I'm a 3C, and I used to get pulled aside a lot by those flat iron salespeople. One time, I told the person I wasn't interested because I'm trying to take better care of my hair and grow it out, which means no heat. The person told me that these flat irons weren't harmful because of some material in it or something. Honestly, I wasn't buying it, and silently flipped my sh** on the way home because they straightened a piece of my hair. (I'd made it look really good that day and this messed up my style. Not even putting water from my water bottle on the straightened piece got it to go back to how it looked that day! ) Luckily, I don't get mobbed by those people anymore. I'm not gonna your model, dammit!

Another time, several months ago, I was working in a strip mall across the way from a salon. I went inside and asked if any stylists there were experienced with curly hair. One was, they told me, but he was out for the day. After explaining to them that I was going natural for hair health and because I'm growing it out, and that it was time to get the ends trimmed, they suggested straightening my hair for the trim. That made me decide on the spot never to do business with them.

I get the perm question. And then if I go straight or something for a day I've had someone ask if that will ruin my perm.

The best is that I get asked about my ethnicity. I'm as white as it gets. So I say I'm kind of a mutt but I have Irish and Scottish and people nod and make noises. And then I get the question... Do you have black ancestors, too? Whaa? Because you've never seen Irish and Scottish people with curly hair? Geez!! My cousin is mixed and when people find that out they say it must be where my curly hair came from. Because that's totally how genetics work.

Originally Posted by melissa.pett

Haha I'm fully black and people ask if I have white in me because "black people can't have naturally curly hair"

I'm a 3C, and I used to get pulled aside a lot by those flat iron salespeople. One time, I told the person I wasn't interested because I'm trying to take better care of my hair and grow it out, which means no heat. The person told me that these flat irons weren't harmful because of some material in it or something. Honestly, I wasn't buying it, and silently flipped my sh** on the way home because they straightened a piece of my hair. (I'd made it look really good that day and this messed up my style. Not even putting water from my water bottle on the straightened piece got it to go back to how it looked that day! ) Luckily, I don't get mobbed by those people anymore. I'm not gonna your model, dammit!

Originally Posted by RobotQT1

Why did you let them straighten a piece of your hair? :O Just ignore them. Don't make eye contact and walk on by. Even if they call out to me I act like they don't exist