New dynastic leader of N Korea looks to the United States for modern means of oppression

Addressing the world community for only the 3rd time since rising to power upon the death of his father Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Un reached out to longtime enemy the United States in a rare move towards reconciliation.

“I was educated in some of the finest schools in Europe. I was able to learn much about how the United States government oppresses its people thanks to the love and guidance of Kim Il-Sun. Clearly all of your spies were sent to learn the ways of junnun and they learned well. It is natural that the student sometimes becomes the teacher, and I am pleased to say that we have much to learn from our student the U.S.