Refusal to compromise is widely considered to be the root cause of political
polarization, business battles, and divorce wars.

But refusal to compromise isn’t actually the cause of these problems. It’s
merely a symptom. The real problem, the root problem, is unwillingness to
tolerate uncertainty.

Our collective unwillingness to tolerate uncertainty stifles creativity and
it dumbs down every institution from business to marriage.

There are two components:

Over-attachment to the literal

Inability to articulate the conceptual

Over-attachment to the literal causes people to dumb down their agenda. It
blinds them to creative options.

The inability to articulate the conceptual keeps people from understanding
where the other side is coming from. It prevents them from giving voice to a
common purpose.

For example, imagine a couple arguing about whether or not they can afford to
send their son to a private college.

The wife says, “We should take out a second mortgage or use our retirement
funds.” The husband says, “No way, a state school is fine.”

They’re both stuck on what they believe to be the best plan. They’re arguing
over literal options.

Yet here’s what can happen if one person reframes the conversation from the
literal to the conceptual. Imagine the husband saying, “What I really want is
for our son to get a great education, and for us to enjoy our retirement.”

Now the conversation is about ideals and aspirations. Instead of arguing
about specific yes or no options, the couple is more likely to talk about their
hopes and dreams, for their son and for themselves. The conversation feels
different because it is different.

They’ve begun using different neural pathways in their brains. They’re likely
feeling more creative. Letting go of their attachment to their fixed plans, at
least momentarily, enables them to explore new options. Articulating voice to
their larger more conceptual goals enables them to find a common purpose.

It’s a two-step process, let go of the literal; reframe around the
conceptual. You don't know where the final solution will come from, and that’s
exactly the point.

Traditional compromise short-changes both sides because it’s based on a
literal straight-line model. You give me this; I’ll give you that. I’m on the
right side of the line; you're on the left. We’ll meet in the middle.

It sounds good in theory. But it doesn’t work because it keeps you stuck in
the land of the known. Nothing new is produced, and both sides walk away with
less than they desire.

Great solutions aren’t found in the middle ground; they’re discovered when
people have the courage to pursue higher ground.

Instead of a straight line, think of it like a triangle. The lower left and
lower right corners represent where you are today. The top, the apex, represents
where you want to go.

The middle of the triangle, the space between the lines, is fraught with
uncertainty. It’s where the messy work of collaboration is done.

Einstein famously said, “We will not solve the problems of today with the
level of thinking that created them.

You don't create greatness by compromising in the middle ground. You create
greatness by having the guts to wade through the unknown. The middle ground is
safer, but seeking higher ground is worth the effort.

Lisa Earle McLeod is a sales leadership consultant.
Companies like Apple, Kimberly-Clark and Pfizer hire her to help them create
passionate, purpose-driven sales forces. She the author of several books
including
Selling with Noble Purpose: How to Drive Revenue and Do Work That
Makes You Proud, a Wiley publication, released Nov. 15, 2012. She has appeared
on The Today Show, and has been featured in Forbes, Fortune and The Wall Street
Journal. She provides executive coaching sessions, strategy workshops, and
keynote speeches.