Blogroll

ESPN Must Be Stopped

ESPN employs a ton of on air talent. They are paid to share thoughts and opinions on a national medium. Have you ever paid attention to these guys? These are the ones who really really really piss me off and why.

1) Colin Cowherd – This asshole is out of control. He grew up on the Washington Coast and has bashed the Northwest every chance he’s been given.

Q: “Hey Colin, what do you think of the UNLV Basketball team?”
A: “I don’t know but thank God Seattle lost the Sonics, Tuba Man and Dave Neihaus! That place can burn in Hell, I should know, I lived there.”

Coward also spends all his time trying to explain how f*cking smart he is. I go out of my way to avoid his high-pitched voice.

2) Skip Bayless – Skip get’s paid to say dumb things on purpose in order to make people angry He’s damn good at his job.

3) Woody Paige – Woody isn’t a real person. He’s a cartoon character. I used to watch “Around the Horn” when I was in college and spent the whole half hour screaming “SHUT THE F*CK UP! SHUT UP, SHUT SHUT SHUT UP!!” until PTI came on. I’ve calmed down…

4) Ron Jawarski – When talking about the National Football League, I like to listen to people who use the same damn clichés over and over while also using 1,000 adjectives when 1 will do. He’s the furthest thing from an analyst. He is trying to out “John Madden” John Madden.

5) Steven A Smith – Steven A is an angry man. Nobody understands why. Doesn’t he have his dream job? He has been given multiple chances to have a syndicated radio show on 710 AM in Seattle but the public got him off the air here….twice. Brock and Salk have had him on their show and you can tell they are only doing it because they are contractually obligated. Afterwards Salk said, “say what you want about Steven…” which actually translates to “Steven is an egotistical dick and everyone knows it but…”

6) Merrell Hodge – This dick with ears needs a smaller tie. Look at his tie and tell me you remember anything he says.

7) Herm Edwards – Herm (You Play…To Win…The Game!) had one YouTube worthy moment and he’s trying to make a career out of it. He did get a beer commercial out of it. He’s a joke doesn’t understand that he’s considered a serious analyst. ESPN uses him as THE ZANY COACH WHO CAN SAY ANYTHING AT ANY TIME! HE’S SO UNFILTERED! Vomit.

This list started with 30 people. I’m not kidding. So who makes you change the channel or start screaming at the TV uncontrollably?

Bob Costas and his East Coast bias. What’s his name that does the draft stuff? Mel Kiper, that’s right, and that new guy they brought in McShay or whatever so they could argue about the better rated college player? I’d like to see their “big board” matched up with actual NFL performance. They make the same bad picks the GMs do, but they always keep their job…