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Author

Christopher Price 6 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thank you very much moonfroth, it is refreshing to receive a comment that speaks to the bones of the piece as well as evocative emotions. I too have been hesitant lately to return to rhyme, in fear perhaps of being branded as archaic as the form, but I must contend that there are poems that demand their format.

When I first published this I wondered if the slightly disjointed stanzas, each with its own slightly different rhythm and meter, would hold together... but, increasingly, the subtle modulation of pitch, from one to the next, seems to reflect the evolutionary process of the emotions of a failed relationship.

Your comment reassures me that there is something "right" about this poem. Thanks again.

Wow. Modern rhyme often seems imposed on the emotion, but this piece pulls off the/fusion/ perfectly. I'm very into form and structure as integral to the emotion essential to real poetry, and you've done it here. Thanks very much--you've reawakened my interest in rhyme! And the wrenching experience that lies behind this piece resonates with me. . .like you, from long ago. And Odysseus-the-Cunning is one of my favourite characters in literature as well. I look forward to reading the rest of your stuff.

Author

Christopher Price 6 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thank you very much...and please forgive my belated response. I don't think I was alerted to your visit. I appreciate your reading and comment.

CP

Justin W Price 6 years agofrom Juneau, Alaska

excellent work. Voted up

Author

Christopher Price 6 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Rosemary-

I am grateful that you found me regardless the circuitous route. Thanks for taking time to comment.

Please come back and browse in hopes of finding something more to like.

CP

Rosemary Sadler 6 years agofrom Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

I have only just found this via someone else I found via someone else I found via someone else I found. Anyway I got here and pleased I did. I love your poem and I can accept that men can feel just as hurt as women so no nitpicking here.

Well written and voted up

Author

Christopher Price 6 years agofrom Vermont, USA

ahorseback-

You are always welcome. I too have been remiss lately with reading and comments...must be the weather.

The same woman, or her siren-sister, I wouldn't be surprised if you too had fallen under the spell. I'll bet we could compare survivor's scars...in verse perhaps.

Peace,

CP

ahorseback 6 years ago

CP neighbor , how did I miss this , there I go again neglecting my reading. Hey!..........are we writing about the same woman.....:-]

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

tnderhrt23:

Thank you. I often do feel like a lyricist searching for a tunesmith. Glad you liked it.

CP

tnderhrt23 7 years ago

CP, I like this alot! Your rhyme, rhythm and flow are spot on and your message strong...would love to hear it sung...Nice job!

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Keith:

Yeah...been there.

Sucked in, chewed up and spit out...feeling like you're stuck to the soul of her shoe.

Think I'll pour a snifter. Cheers indeed! :{)

CP

attemptedhumour 7 years agofrom Australia

Yes i too have tasted the bile of that bitter pill. I learned from it, but something was stolen that remained forever missing. Cheers an efficient piece of work. The poem was great too.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Welcome Bel,

I like to think that most of my poetry is pretty accessible.

I thank whoever led you here, and thank you for taking the chance and for leaving a comment.

Please look around and see if there's something else you might like.

CP

Bel Marshall 7 years agofrom Michigan

I noticed another one of my favorite hubbers was following you and had to check you out.

For someone who doesn't claim to get poetry, I am getting it more and more around here from the talented writers.

Awesome writing!

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Glad to have you along Doug.

Thank you.

CP

Doug Turner Jr. 7 years ago

A good siren's song it is. I especially like the last line about green eyes turning to grey -- that summarizes the transformation in a very simple yet elegant fashion. Well done, CP. I thought I had been following you all along but I'm glad to be doing it now for real. Cheers.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thanks Daniel:

With my poetry I seek to recognize common denominators in an uncommom way. I hope the reader can empathize or sympathize, reflect or remember...to somehow be touched by an emotion, a memory, a dream...forgotten but familiar.

Man! You caught me in the middle of a reflective moment. I appreciate your comments and encouragement.

CP

Daniel J. Neumann 7 years agofrom Harrisburg, Pa

CP,

I liked this poem a lot. You've got a way of being just vague enough to capture your audience (so they can map your description to their lives), yet detailed enough to make us understand what you mean. That's a tricky balance.

Keep up the great work.

Thanks,

Dan

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thanks A.V.;

Stick around and browse. I hope you find more to like.

CP

Alexander A. Villarasa 7 years agofrom Palm Springs

Hi CP:

A poem so short and sweet despite its dark subject matter. But you made it all the worth to read.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thank you 2uesday.

I feel all poetry should be read out loud to truly give voice to the words and so the lines can sing. Otherwise it would be like reading sheet music, never hearing the tune...so much is missed.

I'm very pleased you liked this piece.

CP

2uesday 7 years ago

I agree with the comment left by indigored - this is so well written it would 'sound' equally good read out loud.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

indigored,

I am not unaccustomed to being the exception that proves the rule, it's just not often it is meant as a compliment. Thank you for your kind words. And I will look for mention of your actor son's latest endeavors.

CP

indigored 7 years agofrom The Emerald City

Christopher, so often in rhyming verse there are rhythm problems that make it difficult to read through. With one exception, I found your poem not only rhythmic, but also expressive. Congratulations sir! And thanks for asking about my actor son. I appreciate your suggestions.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

ray,

I believe that words can sing, but music makes them soar.

Thanks for dropping by.

CP

aware 7 years agofrom West Palm Beach Florida.

I wish there was a easy way for us lyric writers . to sing or spoken word the songs that flood the mind. The written word lacks tone inflection and melody.

nice to read you

ray

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Davinity,

Thanks.

CP

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Micky,

I take that as high praise indeed.

Peace brother.

CP

Davinity 7 years ago

beautiful

Micky Dee 7 years ago

You are so smooth Christopher! So smooooth! God bless!

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Ah Petra,

Thank you for your vote of confidence.

That part of my journey is long behind me and I am home by the hearth, a cup of mead by my side, missing Argos, but content.

CP

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thanks Mark,

Fortunately the wounds heal and become but battle scars, the record of our journey.

It's good to put the isle of Anthemusa in the rear view mirrors, as it were, having survived the encounter.

CP

Petra Vlah 7 years agofrom Los Angeles

Ulysses dear, do not despair. Your Penelope is still waiting for you; she may no longer crochet or bake cookies, but she is there and your long journey back to Ithaca will be worth your effort and her wait – at least I hope it will.

Mark Lecuona 7 years agofrom Austin, Texas

We have our wounds don't we? Very well written... I recognize that woman but I'm in control now so I say "hit me with your best shot."

Gonna punch beautiful on this one....

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Stan,

Oh so true...I have been blown away by love.

Sometimes I've felt like a trailer home in tornado alley.

Thanks for the read and your support.

CP

Stan Fletcher 7 years agofrom Nashville, TN

Loved this one man. Very impressive. Love is beautiful and devastating. Kinda' like a tornado - beautiful in its power and devastating in its effect. Rated up and awesome.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thank you Yess!

I guess when things get painful some people just ride it our, I write it out.

Any comparison of me to Odysseus is flattering but suspect. I have however long envied him the freedom he enjoyed, to string his bow and clean house of the lowlifes gathered there. But then, I was a bartender for 8 years, and not the King of Ithaca.

CP

Yess! 7 years ago

Even in the depth of your pain- you've managed to create such beauty!

Odysseus has nothing on you!!

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Nellieanna,

I always welcome your attention.

My reference to the mythical Sirens was not chosen simply for effect.

This poem was born of a relationship initiated by a deceptive manipulative beauty who seduced a sincere and trusting "mark".

She was deceitful by design while he was genuine and gullible. She was a succubus, he just a sucker.

But, in the loss of wide-eyed innocence, some insight can be found.

As well as subjects for poems and discussions.

Hugs to you m'dear.

CP

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thanks for dropping by again Jaggedfrost.

This is NOT a non-smoking area, so carry on.

CP

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

ChristopherAnton,

The beautiful merciless woman...that about covers it.

I think Keats and I should sit down to compare notes.

Had my woman in question been less devious and duplicitous perhaps this poem would have been titled, "Ode To A Grecian Earned"

CP

Nellieanna Hay 7 years agofrom TEXAS

It hardly matters on which side of a romance gone sour a person may be, it is painful. But more tragic is it when the lessons are not learned well. They don't include honing blaming skills, but rather in recognizing both one's own and the other's unrealistic expectations. If the expectations are to blend into one, for example - which one? ;->

Fact is, each must retain his and her own self and respect that of the other. When other hopes of oneness infiltrate the expectations (of either or both) serious problems are planted. One of them expects the other to change to fit and one of two responses will result. The other may be so into the prospect of this kind of melding as to try to fit, so the arrangement may take a lot of years to undo itself, one way or the other. OR the one expected to do the fitting may tire of it and see through it.

Obviously the one who expected to be fitted-to or was becoming accustomed to it will either be disappointed from the start or soon thereafter or will become so dependent on it, if it's progressed very far that anger and recrimination will result - hardly the "perfect love" expected by either party. The "best" that can be hoped for in the event that they "stick it out" either as the "one" or with undercurrents of revolt, is that adjustments will be made which may include various forms of "working around" the problem, including infidelity, financial sabotage, immersing into introversion, losing the self in work, the children or hobbies. What doesn't really happen is a smooth, happy, everyone-wins melding of one subjected person into the being of the dominiant one, who never really has to bother even know who the other one is or what makes him or her tick, if indeed the person himself or herself even still knows!

Lots of "jokes" about gender differences cover the open sore. But neither is really happy. One for having lost self and the other for needing it to be so, possibly even feeling a little guilty about it.

A healthy love simply recognizes there are two different people involved and gives each room to be and to grow, encourages the growth and loves and admires each other for who each is and is capable of becoming. Obviously, jealousy has to play a VERY minor role, if any, in such a relationship. The participants are there because it is their honest choice and each can glory in being chosen and loved. It's a more grownup love than most young folks who "fall in love" can even conceive and everything on every side encourages the other kind. They may be among the fortunate few who learn and grow into it together. It's the best of both worlds when it's created.

Christopher - I sense you're over it. Possibly you couldn't have written - or at least have shared - the poem, otherwise.

Hugs-

Jaggedfrost 7 years ago

lol My love life is smoke'n and I still write. What does that say about me?

Hi CP Your poem reminds of one that I studied many years ago at secondary school.

La Belle Dame Sans Merci, by Keats. I,m glad you survived.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Odysseus is my favorite character in literature and history.

He is the one person with whom I would trade personas, if I had to make a choice.

Like him I have heard the siren's song and survived...battered but better.

Thanks for the read Reed.

CP

SilentReed 7 years agofrom Philippines

Hear the siren's song to your hearts content. But like Odysseus be a wiser man once pass the rocky isle of Anthemusa :)

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Thank you daydreamer,

Your comments are welcome.

CP

daydreamer13 7 years ago

Powerful stuff! Bravo!

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Martie,

Uh, thanks. Your support is underwhelming.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

Fortunately these verses were written about 20 years ago and, though the memories linger, I have moved on.

I hope you can do the same.

Peace.

CP

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Jaggedfrost,

I've had my moments...

When your love life is smokin' who has time to write!?!

CP

Martie Coetser 7 years agofrom South Africa

It is a bit difficult for a betrayed woman to have sympathy with a betrayed man. It is even difficult for a betrayed woman to believe that a man can be betrayed, for in her frame of mind all men are liars and deceivers. But this is only when she thinks with her broken heart. Intellectually she is too aware of human expectations that can not be met, though she knows somehow some couples do manage to meet each other’s expectations.

:) I guess I’m suppose to support you, so let me spit it out: “Next year this time you will be fine and once again ready to try your luck.” :)))) May you indeed be lucky then.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Eiddwen,

Thanks for your comments.

Glad you stopped by.

CP

Jaggedfrost 7 years ago

hmm I am sorry you had such a rough time at love. Love lost is a very powerful motive for writing verse metered or otherwise.

Eiddwen 7 years agofrom Wales

Beautiful words,

Thank you so much for sharing

Take care.

Author

Christopher Price 7 years agofrom Vermont, USA

Yeah Charlie, she got me run up on the shoals...left me a little dingy.