Screw the Turducken, Have a Lampgeefison

As for turduckens, no, I have not had one. I have had the lesser known lampigeefison, which is Lamb+Pig+Beef+Venison. It’s an absolutely beautiful looking dish. This is going to sound like I’m joking, but I’m not. When you put a lampigeefison in the oven it looks like an ugly mound of incongruous lumps of meat but once it’s cooked it looks like Morley Safer. I’m not joking.