Monday, August 23, 2004

Pook #54 - Securities vs. Mistakes

And then appears one of the following lines:
"How do I approach?"
"What do I say?"
"How do you call her?"
"How do I get laid easier?"
"Where do I meet the girls?"
"How do I increase my testosterone?"
"Tell me how to be a Man."
"What cologne should I put on?"
"Which are the clothes that women like?"
"Should I walk with swagger or not?"
"Facial hair or not?"
"Should I use more action verbs in my speech?"
"What sexual position should I use?"
"What date should I do?"
"Should I be ambitious, artistic, or just domineering?"

Gentlemen, if I attempt to answer your every request, I shall be here until Doomsday. You come onto the forum and think, "If I obtain this information, my future with women shall be changed."

This is a bald-faced lie.

Your future is the same. It is only your past that keeps changing.

Nice Guy, Seducer, Cocky Guy- what does it matter? You’re looking for guarantees. Then you change your past (“I lost to the women because I was sheepish and not cocky enough”). Maybe you have different results. But then it goes back to the way it was. And you search for more information. And then you change your past again (“oh, I lost to the women because I lacked testosterone within me”). Maybe you have different results. But then it goes back to the way it was. And you search for something else...

On and on it goes. So excuse me for not giving you a traditional answer. Let me answer you in another way.

It is to know the difference between a security and a mistake.

'Securities'

What is a 'security'? It is a calculus of action. It is a planned way of thought, of movement, of talk, and of love. For example, anchoring conversation with "notice something about her” is a 'security'. It implies that if you talk about a necklace or something she is wearing, your odds for 'winning' are better. Here is another 'security'. "A cool fast car!" Since it is observed that women like the cool fast cars, guys will get them because they believe it boosts their chances of getting the girl.

All seduction techniques are 'securities'. All NLP is a 'security'. The entire idea is to boost your chances of getting the girl.

Self-improvement is readily a good thing. But a very big problem (or should I say cancer?) occurs when self-improvement becomes a 'security'. The idea that improving yourself, in this or that way, will boost your chances. But the problem is that it never stops. Go into a gym and you will find many single guys working out. They will remain there because they always think they have to be perfect to get the ladies! Watch television and you will see ads implying that if you wear this shampoo, you will have this social life, eat this brand of rice, and your romantic life will look like this, on and on and on. Use this product and you will be "perfect" it implies. Well, perfect is boring.

Take a young man asking some guy on the internet where should he go for the date? What should he eat? What should he wear? Which restaurant should he go to? What should he talk about? (And yes, he even asks) What sexual position should I use? Should I kiss her here or there?

He thinks, Eh em ubtaining all dis infoormadion! W00t! Luk dat mee!

But I'm shaking my head thinking, My goodness! This guy is letting a stranger from the internet define his love life! He doesn't know where he wants to go, what he wants to eat, what to talk about, or what to wear.

Women will look at such a guy with the same attitude.

A 'security' is an act or thought that makes you eliminate mistakes. It is one thing to foresee mistakes (after all, you can't just marry any girl), but it is disaster to life to deny them. You want misery in your life? Keep sucking up 'securities' to mold and sculpt your life.

Mistakes

I cannot speak for others, but I will tell you the BIG reason why I became successful with women. I was willing to lose girls when I had no girls, and I was willing to spend the time when I had no time.

What does this mean Willing to lose girls when I had no girls?

Let me use a money analogy. Let us say you were born poor. Most people remain poor because they cling so tightly to the pennies they have that they won’t risk losing it in any investment. So they not only lose out with the big money, they remain with pennies their entire life.

Now look at many men. Many guys remain single or in an LTR with a mediocre girl because they cling so tightly to the one girl in their worlds that they won’t risk or go back to singledom. (Most girls stay with a mediocre male precisely because of this reason). It is like an ant saying to another, “Don’t eat that leaf else we starve!” forgetting that they are in a bountiful forest.

When one love dies, another is reborn. Nature will not tolerate a vacuum. Single guys will have women thrown at them, provided they aren’t living life in securities. If you tiptoe with women, you cannot stand! You flop and fall over if you get out of balance. And that is what it is like living a life of securities… I know, I did it far too long. It is like walking a tight beam and ‘balancing’ against every gust and breeze. It is exhausting. This is why many following this path want to give up on women because it seems like ‘so much work’.

If you don’t have money, how can you be scared of losing money? And if you don’t have women, how can you be scared of losing them? It is like you’re fighting for the scraps, literally SCRAPS, of joy while your dreams sit on the table, rotting and growing cold with time.

And what does it mean to spend time when I had no time?

Most people don’t live in the present. They live in the ‘future’. They say, “Tomorrow! All my dreams will occur tomorrow!” Never does the person say, “Today!” So time passes and passes.

I will bet that most guys here, who are sincerely interested in getting better with women, were late bloomers in life. Let’s face it. If you have not dated or did anything with girls, you are certainly going to be a bit uncertain about it!

“My problem is that I need more experience.” I don’t think so. I think the big problem (of which I, too, am very much guilty of) is not embracing my dreams for today and waiting for tomorrow. I would see a pretty girl and go, “No! Can’t ask her out! Got too much stuff to do this week!” This occurred throughout years. But as time passed, melancholy increased and increased until you hated being single. It was as if an internal pressure came. You go after women because the pain of being single is now greater than ‘ceding your desires for tomorrow’.

Is that what it has come to? The choice between lesser of two pains? Is this life? You didn’t live like that when you were a child. You used to explore, play, and try out new things! Why has life become harder and more unbearable?

Again, it comes to your context on ‘securities’ vs. ‘mistakes’. I ask, “What mistakes does a child make?” I’m sure you can think of something like forgetting to turn off the light, leaving the oven on, or something of the sort. This is from the adult’s point of view. From the child’s point of view, he wasn’t making any mistakes. Cut his finger? Hurt his leg? Tired out? No mistakes here! Why, he was exploring! Every child loves to explore. There is so much in life to see! A child, instinctively, knows this.

But we somehow overpower this when we grow older. When you say something *wrong* with a woman and she leaves, you think you made a ‘mistake’ and feel bad. Well, why do you have to feel bad? Everyone’s made mistakes before. So what?

Get that child’s perspective once again of feeling that the world was new when you were young. You are exploring with love and life, not making ‘mistakes’. And even the worst mistake is preferable to a lifetime embracing the greatest of ‘securities’. The zest of life is in the roll of the dice.

So look at your love life. Is it a life of ‘securities’ or is it a life of ‘mistakes’? Is it a ‘calculus of action’ or spontaneous?

Look at your financial life, social life, and even intellectual life. Are they leashed to ‘securities’ or are they free, wild, and allowed to explore?

“But Pook, my perspective uses the word ‘strategies’. Your perspective uses the word ‘securities’. We are saying the same thing but using different contexts. But we are both using the word ‘mistake’ in my perspective! Tell me, goodly Pook, what word do you use, in your perspective, for my label of ‘mistake’?”

What's Wrong With The World -- G.K. Chesterton (excerpts)

Sex and Character -- by Otto Weininger

The Encyclopedia Marxofeminist

Feminist "Equality" Includes The Loss of Free Speech

If you are afraid to speak against tyranny, then you are already a slave. To attempt to silence a man is to pay him homage, for it is an acknowledgement that his arguments are both impossible to answer and impossible to ignore. -- JBR Yant

"We can't expect the American People to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving them small doses of Socialism, until they awaken one day to find that they have Communism." -- Nikita Krushchev

THE ANIMAL FARM REALITY OF "FEMINIST EQUALITY:"

"Differences [between men and women], including the products of social inequality, MAKE UNEQUAL TREATMENT NOT UNEQUAL AT ALL." -- Catharine MacKinnon, "Reflections on Sex Equality Under Law," Yale Law Journal, 1991

The Demographic Trap

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within." -- Josef Stalin

Back to the Bible

"The aim of socialism is not only to abolish the present division of mankind into smaller states and all-national isolation, not only to bring the nations closer to each other, but also to merge them." -- V.I. Lenin

No Thanks - We'd Rather Be Canadian!

"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one" ~Benjamin Franklin

Man-Made Global Warming is a Hoax being used to bring about Global Communism (Globalization)

"Every collectivist revolution rides in on a Trojan horse of 'emergency'. It was the tactic of Lenin, Hitler, and Mussolini. In the collectivist sweep over a dozen minor countries of Europe, it was the cry of men striving to get on horseback. And 'emergency' became the justification of the subsequent steps. This technique of creating emergency is the greatest achievement that demagoguery attains." -- Herbert Hoover

Just Doing My Part to Fight Global Warming!

"The threat of environmental crisis will be the 'international disaster key' that will unlock the New World Order." -- Mikhail Gorbachev, quoted in "A Special Report: The Wildlands Project Unleashes Its War On Mankind", by Marilyn Brannan, Associate Editor, Monetary & Economic Review, 1996, p. 5

Rule by Science

Philosophy Corner

“Dialectical thought is related to vulgar thinking in the same way that a motion picture is related to a still photograph. The motion picture does not outlaw the still photograph but combines a series of them according to the laws of motion.” -- Leon Trotsky

Dialectical Thought is a Cornerstone of Marxism, and Feminism (Because They Are One In the Same)

The Marxist Dialectic's Zig-Zag

Wishing to advance in a room full of people, I do not walk through the aisle and straight toward my goal. Nor do I move slowly through the crowd shaking hands with friends and acquaintences, discussing points of interest, gradually nearing the objective. The dialectical pathway is different. It consists of a resolute forward advance followed by an abrubt turn and retreat. Having retreated a distance there is another turn and advance. Through a series of forwardbackward steps the goal is approached. To advance thus is to advance dialectically. The Communist goal is fixed and changeless, but their direction of advance reverses itself from time to time. They approach their goal by going directly away from it a considerable portion of the time. Lenin wrote the textbook, One Step Forward, Two Steps Back. Chinese Communist schoolchildren are taught to do the dialectical march taking three steps forward and two steps back. If we judge where the Communists are going by the direction in which they are moving we will obviously be deceived -- Dr. Fred Schwarz, President of Christian Anti-Communism Crusade

The Pussy Pass

All's Fair In Love and War

The Matriarchy Lives! (Click Picture)

"I am most anxious to enlist everyone who can speak or write to join in checking this mad, wicked folly of 'Women's Rights', with all its attendant horrors, on which her poor feeble sex is bent, forgetting every sense of womanly feelings and propriety. Feminists ought to get a good whipping. Were woman to 'unsex' themselves by claiming equality with men, they would become the most hateful, heathen and disgusting of beings, and would surely perish without male protection." -- Queen Victoria, 1870