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I'm 31 and have practiced serial monogamy all my life. There's an old friend, an amazing lover, who wants to settle down with me and raise my children, move in together. I love him and everything is perfect, but I hesitate in committing my life to him simply because I'm interested in and attracted to another man.

I don't look for it to "go anywhere" with the "other man", i.e., he isn't the man with whom I want to "settle down". But I want to have some sort of relationship with him, and I can imagine that there will be men like that to come along in my life.

As for my old friend, he has acted on an attraction to another woman lately, one with whom he is fond but with whom he doesn't want to have the level of commitment he has with me.

And talking about the two of them, thinking of it... it gets me giddy as if it were my new attraction, and I must admit, a little hot.

So we have started exploring the possibility of building a life for ourselves that isn't dictated by what "society" says is the "right way". We're exploring what works for us. We have a lot of questions, and are plowing our way through some literature, but I thought these boards would be helpful in the meantime.

I'll also point out that there is no actual poly lifestyle. The question is how you work poly into your lifestyle.

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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.