XeroDeath69 changed his name to Ian Collingwood

Plus general net despair and something lighthearted about bananas

Lots of angry, anonymous moaning has broken out over on the forums of famed RPG maker Blizzard - thanks to the company announcing plans to put an end to the practice of angry, anonymous moaning.

The Warcraft-maker has said it will soon require its forum users to leave comments on its discussion boards under their real, human names, in a move that will hopefully make its corner of the internet a little more of a pleasant place to hang around in, once people have to start acting like... people.

According to the BBC, Blizzard users are already up in arms over possible privacy implications - like potential future employers knowing they stayed in all Friday night playing World of Warcraft and then bragging about it on the internet. Better or worse than drunken horseplay photos on Facebook?

Update - After receiving thousands of complaints from users, Blizzard have backed down and decided that real names will not be needed.

$20 per tweet

Fans of looking at the internet and shaking their heads in dismay - it's your lucky week. MTV has launched an online search for - wait for it - a Twitter Jockey.

MEANWHILE: VH1 is looking for someone who knows how to set get its email working

Rather than hiring a man who works in IT to ping out endless links to funny YouTube videos, the initial list of candidates is full of largely attractive, young people with nice hair and their smiles. We hate attractive young people and their nice hair and their smiles. The eventual winner lands themselves a one-year, $100k contract to be MTV's official mouthy internet idiot.

"Just take a huge amount off one side, please"

The otherwise quite attractive hairdresser Becky Enfield has decided to shave an Apple logo into the side of her head. She says it's because she couldn't think of a "better way to display" her love for the fashionable tech company.

We can - she could've used those free Apple stickers. Or started up a blog. Or left some pro-Apple comments beneath all the positive reviews of the HTC Desire on the internet, perhaps even going so far as to buy a T-shirt. There are plenty of normal things you can do to do to show you like something, Becky.

Banana Plan

Famed banana importer and sticker-maker Dole has upped its game in Japan, releasing the first 100 per cent banana-based vending machine. You can buy your bananas individually, or by the bunch if you have a craving for a whole handful.

SKINS: Are there unpeeling instructions on the bag to assist fruit-shy youths?

Installed at a station interchange in the Shibuya area of Japan, the machine is reported to have completely sold out of all stock during its first days on the job. Dole is reported to be targeting young people who don't eat properly. They'll be comforted by the way the bananas come in plastic bags.