The grounds crew fix the infield during a rainy game three. National League baseball: Feel the excitement! Photo by Harry How/Getty Images.

Scott Raab: Just when you think it couldn't get more dull here in the League Of Their Own series, Josh Fogg and Livan Hernandez lock junk in another classic matchup -- with wind and rain. In fair weather, these teams can trick the eye into believing it beholds a decent baseball game for an inning or so, but not tonight. With the wind chill at 34 degrees, the big question is, who needs Ambien?

To give credit where it's due, the Rox defense is just as good as advertised, and Troy Tulowitzki's arm is quite the cannon. Like his MVP-bound pal out in LF, Tulip's offensive numbers are inflated by playing 81 games at Coors, but he just turned 23 and he's already a very good ballplayer at a key defensive position.

Chip Caray says that this Colorado squad set an all-time major league record for highest fielding percentage, which essentially means they made very few errors. This tells you little about their team defense -- the Rockies at .989 were only .006 better (or less) than 10 other NL teams in '07 in terms of fielding percentage. Not making errors is just one aspect of what a good defense does: Turn the other team's batted balls into outs. Counting errors isn't meaningful.

While it's true that defense is harder to measure than hitting and pitching, advanced metrics have been created and are easy to find online -- at ESPN, Baseball Prospectus, and The Hardball Times, among others. The stuff you'll see -- Defensive Efficiency, Fielding Runs Above Average, Zone Rating -- isn't that hard to grasp, either. And anybody who's watching the Diamondbacks and Rockies play baseball in the rain on Sunday night must be enough of a fan to care about this sort of thing.

Wait a second -- did I just hear Chip refer to "the purple-clad Rockies faithful" -- that's poetry. You go, Chip -- or is it Ezra tonight? That would be a good booth: Ezra Pound doing the play-by-play, James Joyce doing color, Tony Gwynn wolfing down nachos -- ever wonder why Gwynn's voice sounds like that? Velveeta -- and stately, plump Livan Hernandez on the bump.

Fogg or Hernandez? Ambien or Lunestra? Flomax or Avodart? And that neo-hipster guy who commands the Verizon army -- that kid's got a big future ahead of him. I can definitely see him getting whacked in the head with a shovel at some point in his life. Soon, I hope. Soon and hard.

If that AIG commercial is correct -- singing can add fifteen years to your life, and laughing can add eight -- will a daily blowjob enable me to live forever? And, if so, should I still charge money for giving it?

What about singing the Guess Who's old hit, "Laughing" -- is that enough for twenty-three extra years?

Top of the 6th, after Helton walks and Brad hits a short-Hawpe single, Livan Hernandez throws a 58-mph curveball to Yorvit Torrealba. Later in the count, another, at 60. And once the count is full, the Krafty Kuban fires the heater, an 82-mph bolt that Torrealba promptly belts over the fence.

The standard story about Yorvit's name, by the way, is that his parents couldn't decide between Yorman and Victor. The truth is that in Venezuela, "yorvit" means "chip."

Whoa. Arizona's Eric Byrnes, that paragon of gel-haired, titty-fucking, jockstrapped mediocritudinosityhoodishness, has "earned" $10 million playing major league baseball, and he has the stones to complain that the Rockies have been lucky this series. You know what luck is, fucktard? Just look in the mirror.

What? The game's over? Already? Sheesh. Barely over three hours tonight. That'll help jack up the ratings. You bet.

*****

Jay Levin: You've probably read it before, but it bears reprinting:

"They've had a little luck go their way. Definitely the ball has bounced in their direction. They've been the beneficiary of some calls. So when we look at that as a group, as we look back on those first two games, we have not been outplayed. If anything, I think it's the other way around."

That was Eric Byrnes, Friday night. Last night it was: "Nothing has gone our way so far. For whatever reason, that's the way it's been."

I don't fault Byrnes for thinking positively, for giving himself and his boys a little pep talk, for spinning the story -- and who knows if he was even trying to do any of those things. Byrnes is 100 percent pure fan-favoritestuff -- a gritty, scrappy, head-first diver (and never mind that he's an average hitter on the wrong side of 30), and just like Cousin Eddie, his heart might be bigger than his brain. All of which makes him immensely watch-able, and as Scott has hinted, that's something we desperately need in this series.

Thing is, the Rockies have outscored the D'backs 12 runs to 3 -- not a close margin. Yeah, I know that one bad break can change the score by three runs, but, bottom line, where's a guy get off saying that his team "outplayed" the other team when they got outscored 12-3?

"For whatever reason, that's the way it's been."

For whatever reason? How about your lineup striking out 22 times with only seven walks -- bad bounces?

Hitting just one home run in 29 innings -- bad calls?

Brandon Webb loading the bases twice in the first three innings, with two walks, a wild pitch and five hits to the outfield -- I don't know, food poisoning?

"Nothing has gone our way so far."

Nothing? Listen, Doug Davis hit a double the other night. The guy had exactly zero extra-base hits in more than two years, and hardly any singles, and he hit a double. I'd think Byrnes would remember it, since Davis went on to score their only run in that game, but evidently he was too busy totally outplaying the Rockies to notice.

And here's something else: The other team's leadoff hitter bunts into two or three outs every game, even with the bases empty. It's just something he likes to do, apparently, and you can't buy that kind of good break.

"They've had a little luck go their way."

You want luck? Last night, the Rockies load the bases in the 7th, two outs. The D'backs are already down three runs, so any base-hit puts them at least five runs back, and they haven't scored five runs in the past week. Into this breach the D'backs send Dustin Nippert, who had a 7.66 ERA after the All-Star break, and -- this is going to look like a typo, but it isn't -- a 32.40 ERA with the bases loaded. Yet this guy gets Tulowitski to fly out, keeping the game in reach.

That, my friends, is great luck, game-changing luck, three-run luck. The D'backs have smoked a few balls straight into Rockies gloves this weekend, that much is true, but when Doug Davis doubles and scores your only run one night, and then Nippert manages not to "pull a Gagne" the next, you don't get to talk about bad luck anymore.

And anyway, I thought Byrnes didn't believe in luck, or at least he didn't two weeks ago:

"Sometimes, every now and then, there are teams out there that defy the numbers. We seem to be one of those teams. This is one of those things you can't really explain, other than the fact that there are 25 guys in here who know how to win baseball games."

Oh, now I get it. When your numbers aren't that good and you win anyway, it's because you "know how to win baseball games." But when your numbers aren't that good and you lose, it's because "nothing has gone our way."

Well, that's his version, and here's mine: They're young, they're impatient, and they haven't gotten the job done. It would be nice if Byrnes could just own up to that, but at the very least, I could do without all the complaints about luck.

If you believe in luck, then luck's the only reason the D'backs got this far.

*****

Scott Raab: Two sweeps so far, a third about to happen, and it feels like these playoffs have been dragging on for two months.

Blogito ergo sum.

*****

Scott Raab: So whaddawe got tonight -- I mean, besides the All American Girls Professional Baseball League sweepola.

Daisuke Matsuzaka vs. Jake Westbrook at the Jake? Two things to look for: Is Westbrook getting the low strike from the ump, and -- not unrelated -- can he get through the first inning unscathed? If so, I like the Tribe's chances. A lot.

Both teams need this game. Boston really, really needs it. I don't hear anyone claiming that Dice-K is a big-game pitcher -- the Yankees ate him alive -- and Tim Wakefield's set to go tomorrow. If the wasabiball isn't gyrating tonight, they're in serious trouble.

Red Sox Nation seems to be consoling itself by claiming that their heroes did a wonderful job of "working" Fausto and C.C. to death in those first two games. Bullshit, yokels. Bullshit.

Look, I'm not such a partisan that I don't recognize how good the Boston lineup is. But it ain't all that good -- three elite hitters deep, counting that whining twat Youklis. True, two of those elite hitters are Manny and Papi, but if Indians pitchers keep throwing strikes, like the relievers did in Game 2, even Mini and Pupi are gonna make some outs.

As for Sabathia and Carmona, I've watched these two guys pitch all season, and whatever the trembling citizens of RSN pretend to think they saw, it wasn't either one of 'em close to his best. Not by a long shot.

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