In the Carnage of the Exposure of Our Darkest Secrets

Secrets stink. Secrets ruin families and bring nations to the fields of war. Consider the convoluted mess created around Edward Snowden, or the carnage being witnessed by Josh Duggar’s loved ones, or the wreckage in the lives of little children victimized by Jared Fogle. Secrets are dangerous, sometimes deadly things.

And the worst part of it is… we all have them. We hide them. We protect them because of one of our deepest, darkest fears – exposure. Nothing is more painful, more shame-inducing, more frightening to us than being fully, completely known.

Obviously, not everyone, and probably very few people (proportionally speaking) carry the kind of scandalous secrets held by these whose lives have been flayed open by the media. But all of us carry around in the most obscure nooks and crannies of our hearts the things we hope no one discovers. Ever.

Secrets can be completely innocent while still causing extreme shame, such as having been abused or raped. Or they can be heinous and sinister, such as having been the abuser. Addictions to sex or pornography, gambling, drugs and alcohol thrive off the parasitic energy of secrecy. And for all of us who carry them, the exposure of our secrets is perhaps our worst fear of all.

And that’s why secrets are catastrophically destructive. I’m convinced that this is why we keep tabloids in business, are obsessed with “reality” television, and love a good exposé, even when it ruins a family. Half of the trending topics on social media on any given day are simply the secrets of the famous, exposed before a voyeuristic culture. It’s always more comfortable when someone else’s secrets are distracting everyone from prying for ours.

I think there are some things we generally fail to understand about our secrets. John Baker, founder of Celebrate Recovery, has famously said, “We’re only as sick as our secrets.” Here’s the truth about secrets – when they are exposed – to the appropriate people in the appropriate manner, they begin to lose their power over us. The structures of our addictions begin to erode as we unwire their root causes. Our secrets make us sick, and exposure – our greatest fear – is often the only path to healing.

I’ve been a pastor for a couple of decades, and I have observed from within the ominous nature of a community of people who have bypassed grace for a more legalistic ethic. When we celebrate self-righteousness and praise performance, everyone hides. We perpetuate a culture of not telling what doesn’t have to be told because, who would understand anyway? So out of our self-protective instinct, we lock our secrets away and live in fear of the world around us.

I think it’s time we determine ways to create safer places, especially among Christians, for people to begin to share their stories. That doesn’t mean everyone’s story needs to be put on public display. It could be that our most hurtful memories are whispered into the ears of a single, compassionate counselor. Or it could be that our biggest struggles are shared with two or three faithful friends who will hold us accountable. It may be that we find powerful solace from the encouragement of a small group.

When secrets are exposed, repentance can have its fruit. Change becomes possible. Our souls can finally begin to be restored. Obviously, we ought to talk to God with raw honesty about all of the secrets he already knows anyway, but recovery is often stunted when prayers of confession become personal excuses not to deal with our pain or our sins with our fellow spiritual family members.

So,

If you’re having an affair, looking at porn, gambling or stealing in secret, it’s time to confess. If you’re doing something illegal or unethical, it’s time to come clean. To you, Scripture says, “For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all” (Luke 8:17 NLT).

If you’ve been abused, raped, taken advantage of or victimized, it’s time to talk to a counselor and to those who will love you, reassure you that it’s NOT your fault, and walk you down the long and difficult road of justice and forgiveness. To you, Scripture says, “For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3 NLT). In Christ, you are covered!

I think you get the picture. We’re only as sick as our secrets. God already knows, and he loves you in spite of whatever you’re hiding. He has paved the way for your redemption, recovery, and ultimate healing for eternity by sending his Son, Jesus, to die for our sins, to rise again, and to offer himself in a vital relationship with us forever. Shame and fear begin to die when authenticity springs to life.

Editor’s note: If you struggle with temptation in the area of sexuality or pornography, we encourage you to reach out to Celebrate Recovery to find a recovery ministry in your area, and consider getting additional help from online sources.

You know what, not everyone can accept you as you are, including Christian. God is good indeed, what good is God if He’s only in heaven and doesn’t do anything?
What good is God and His men or whoever it is if He’s only laughing at someone’s misery and make it a mockery?

I like this ministry of planting churches because of this end time living, Jesus Christ leave the mission of go preach the word of God and make them disciple, am so encouraged with brother blodx Cox’s with what your doing am also doing the some work here in Malawi .may God bless u I need your prayers and spiritual help

His lesson for secrets is for me an veritable way to ask the forgive to our God .I need your pray and I ask you to send me differents supports spiritual and psychological advices.Can you take your time to help me for my grow (croissance).I ask you again to pray for my familly or house (for me,m’y wife,children).If you need it’s good to see you.

Yes pastor you have said it all,and i also belief that secretes is darkness,stormbling-block and a pit that before a man,and it imprison’s man destiny.but my question is this,what if after you have exposed your secret and people you share this secrets with now used it against you,andyou become the talk of the town, what can the person do?

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