stay at home mom isolation

Annie - posted on 01/03/2011
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Do any other stay at home moms (SAHM) feel isolated. I absolutely love being home with my little boy but being the only of my close friends with a child it gets isolating. One of my new years resolution is to find a playgroup so I'm hoping that will help me find more moms my age in the area. Anyone other SAHM feel this way and if so what has helped you?

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Joanne - posted on 01/09/2011

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Hi ladies i to am a sahm I have just had a great idea are you all of facebook i am going to make a online mothers group so we can all talk if any one would like to join (have not even started it yet just putting it out there) will go and make it now while bubs is asleep and will put details on here talk to u all soon xoxo

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AngD - posted on 12/04/2012

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Hi I am just replying to your post. I am at home mom with elementary school age children and work nights to accomodate their schedule. I am lonely in the day so if you want to IM just IM me at devriesangie@yahoo.com

I lost my job the same day i actually got pregnant. My son is now18 months, & I have had only one friend come visit us in our new place. I have 3 other friends that have kids a few months older than my son, & neither of them have even attempted to come have a playdate. granted, they all work, but one of them just started working 2 months ago. Before I had my son, I went everywhere, saw everyone, if you needed me I was there in a second. Now, I'm not driving at the moment, & not one person has offered to come see me, or go out for the day. It'stough. Go to your local library & get into a group that has kids your baby's age. Great way to make new friends, & developmentally effective for your child. You need adult interaction, & your significant other sometimes just doesnt cut it. God luck.

I'm in the same situation, I'm hoping since it's getting warmer it will be better. I can take him out to the playground outside of our house and there are a lot of people with young children that live in this apartment complex

I am a full time working mother (in fact, I have two jobs), but when I was on maternity leave this last spring, I felt that way. I am a teacher, so when our little Crosby was born at the end of march over my spring break, i did not return to school until this past fall. Having 5 months of maternity leave and stay-at-home time, even with my 4 year old there too to keep me hopping, I felt extremly isolated. I have a bunch of friends with kids, but most of them do not live closer than 30 minutes away, and many of them work full-time as well, so playdates were often out of the question. As much as I loved being home all day, every day, with my babies, I was really glad to get back to the work, simply for the social interaction with adults!

I have the same thing! It's really difficult to stay connected to the rest of the world. You might try MOMS club. It stands for Moms Offering Moms Support, and it is a group of stay at home moms. I am a part of a chapter near me, and they have playdates and all sorts of activities every week. If it weren't for them, I'd never leave the house! lol. I'm not sure where you are, but they might have a chapter near you.

Annie, look at Meetup.com for a playgroup in your area. You also might check with your local church for other playgroups/Mom's groups. MOPS is another great option as well. If your local mall has an indoor play area, go there and try to meet other parents. It's hard when you're the only one in a group of friends who has children. Get out of the house as much as you can to be around other adults. Go to the mall and walk around with your little one, join the YMCA- they have free day care while you work out...these activities can save your sanity by getting out of the house and possibly meet other moms you can hang out with. I have 3 boys; 6, 4, and 10 months. When my older boys were littler, I did these things to keep me sane. Hang in there! :) My best.

I have been a stay at home mom for a few years now. I worked for awhile running a hotel, but we lived in a house attached to the hotel. Now I am strictly a stay at home mom living in a small rural tourist town. All our family lives 300 miles away and I have no friends up here. My husband works 7pm-7am and sleeps all day. He is awake for an hour when he gets home and an hour before going to work. I just got a part time job working 2 days a week, but might have to quit due to lack of consistent babysitters. My hours are from 12:30-9pm and people up here don't want to be "out that late".

I worked up untill my son was 8 mo old now i stay home with him , and it gets a little depressing at times. I just feel bad b/c he used to be in childcare and he really LOVEd playing with the other babies. Our local library has a playgroup every friday that we go to, that has helped. But i really enjoy staying home with him! ... i just plan on joining as many activitys as we can. The local ymca has a gymnastics play group for children once they learn to walk. so we will join that when he starts walking!

hey, yeah i'm a stay at home mum. I'm too young to drive which makes it even harder, and my old friends think i'm boring and don't talk to me anymore.The only social life i have is through my mums group. But they're great :)I'm looking forward to that facebook mums group! xx

i agree with you Annie! This site is amazing! I've been in this group since i was 1 1/2 months pregnant...it's wonderful to be able to hear and talk with you all on things our kiddos are going through together (and us ! lol)

It's normal to feel isolated - not something you ever think of while you're pregnant though, so it always comes as a shock to new mom's... it seems we are riddled with guilt from the day our lo's are born. I have a 3 year old as well as a 9 month old so I have less time to feel isolated this time around - LOL. I can't say enough about play groups and drop-in centres, they have saved my sanity over the last 3 years. Also, I think it's so important to get outside at least once a day no matter how much of a pain in the butt it is. I live in Canada and it's very cold right now, but every day we all get bundled up and take in some fresh air. I have a back pack carrier for my little guy and my 3 year old hikes along side - the best part is when we get home they're both wiped from the fresh air and nap 2+ hours in the afternoon!

It wasn't as bad for me in the summer and fall as it is for me now. I live in Canada and there's snow here. When there's snow, I really don't want to go out. Why? Because I have to go through a whole to do. I don't drive. I don't have the energy to push the stroller through snow. Plus I have to bundle up Ryan and myself before we go anywhere. So, the two of us have our routine. He's down to one nap now, at lunch time. For me, it's just killing time till his daddy gets home from work. Then we have time for ourselves since Ryan is in bed by 7.

I feel the same way. I hadn't really thought about it too much until last night. I always get jealous of my husband's computer, and want his attention pointed to me or our son only, and nothing else. He once again, asked me why I acted that way and I sat down and thought about it - I, like you, am isolated from other adults most of the time, and my husband is the only real source of adult company and conversation. I'm the only one of my friends who is married and has kids, and they are all busy with school or work. I've tried going to a mom's group that my sister-in-law is a part of, but I don't feel like I fit in. I'm 20, and the youngest one there. Plus, I'm shy by nature, which doesn't help. I love being home with my 9 month old son, and one due in April, but I also wish there was something out there for me where I felt that I belonged.

I am a SAHM and definitely felt I needed contact with other adults. I did 2 things that helped tremendously...1) I found a small group/bible study at my church where they provide child care so I could contect with other women and spiritually; and 2) I joined MOMS Club to meet other SAHMs and for my baby to be around other children. MOMS Club has chapters all over the country and costs $20 for membership for and entire year. You can go to activities for the whole club as well as join a smaller play group thru them. Check them out. The website is www.momsclub.org Now I am thinking about starting a small group playgroup of my own for STAHMs in my area thru my church as another outlet. You could also check if you live in a neighborhood and see if they have a playgroup for the neightborhood moms and children, if not they may like to start one. Hope this helps some. Good luck!

I think it's very common to go through that I'm going through the same thing. I've noticed that getting out even if it's me and the baby feels good and makes me feel less isolated. I think that meeting other moms with kids of the same age will be helpful also

Yes! I feel like I'm going crazy! I do go to these groups at this one store near me sometimes. I feel a little left out when I am there because I'm not there every day or even every week. Plus most of the women live so close to the store and I'm in a different community. I'm still trying to find a balance in my life.

yes it can feel isolating sometimes,i am 23,i have a 3yr old and a 10 month old, i dont have any friends my own age with children,but i feel very lucky coz i have kept in contact with some lovely girls that havent judged me,from my anenatal classes i done wen i was pregnant with my 3yr old.i looked up on google playgroups,then u type in ur area and it will come up with a few playgroups,join one or all if u like,i joined one close to me(which i was extremely nervous about,being young and all) but it was the best thing i done,i found a few girls my age who i am now good friends with,also some other girls and stay and home guys. you could even ask ur maternal nurse if there is a mothers group u could join? or maybe at ur local library they do reading groups,the kids love that and u meet other mums and dads there? hope ive been helpfull.i know i feel alot better,and feel i hav great mummy friends now :)

i feel the same way! i joined a bootcamp that i absolutely love, but when December came around i was so busy i got into this crazy slump and im trying to back into it! its hard! i dont really have many friends with kids, and my bf works all the time, so i feel for ya

I'm right there with you! I taught elementary school for 11 years before having my son. I've wanted to be a Mommy for SO long and I feel so fortunate that I'm able to be a SAHM.... but.... I've been feeling isolated and, frankly, bored lately. If I find anything that helps, I'll let you know. In the meantime, I find this group is good.

i am unfortunately not a SAHM..i wish i could afford to be! I am a mommy nanny to 1 1/2 yr old triplets and bring my 9 month old with me (every since he was 3 1/2 months)... \it really sucks... i don't get to see ANY adults until 5pm (when my husband comes home and i get home)... besides that..the only time i see another adult is on weekends when i'm grocery shopping or on sundays occasinoally.. few of my friends have kids so they've started to keep their distance.... i am looking for a weekend playgroup.. it'd be great to find other mummies to talk with and find friends.. i work 50 hours a week but it'd be worth a weekend if i could not feel so isolated anymore!

I worked but even by working you lose friends who don't have kids because they don't understand. Also I'm a manager where I work so although I have adult interaction it's not like I can maintain a personal relationship with them outside of work. There is a website meetup.com where you can search playgroups. Also check your local library they may run programs for your little one. Currently we do babygarten for our daughter once a week and it's free thanks to our library. They may also have story hour so you can expose your little one to the library and a love of reading early on, you an meet other moms you have children. Good luck!