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Hygge (pronounced hoo-guh)

Imagine the sound you make when clearing your throat and you should get it right. It may sound funny, but it’s the hip thing these days, though far from being a fad, it’s growth in popularity is not with out good reason. Some say it is not translatable into the English language, they say, a similar word seems to be cosy, and though that describes a portion of hygge it’s far from the whole thing.

I’ll leave it to the hygge pro to sum it up in a paragraph..or two.

Hygge has been called everything from “the art of creating intimacy,” “coziness of the soul,” and “the absence of annoyance,” to “taking pleasure from the presence of soothing things,” “cozy togetherness,” and my personal favorite, “cocoa by candlelight”.

Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things. It is about being with the people we love. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down. You may be having an endless conversation about the small or big things in life- or just be comfortable in each other’s silent company- or simply be by yourself enjoying a cup of tea. –The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking

Another description I personally resonate a lot with calls it the art of slowing down and enjoying the little things with people you love. If it was something tangible (but it’s really so much more)it may be loved ones around a fire, hot cocoa, woolen socks, natural materials, nature walks. etc. Now that you have a feel of what hygge is, maybe you can relate to my fondness of wanting this environment. Who wouldn’t? So what does hygge have to do with Christmas? Like, almost everything…going back to Mr. Wiking now.

For many people- Danes included- Christmas is a wonderful time. However wonderful is far from the only word used to describe it. If you ask people of any nationality to describe Christmas in one word, adjectives like happy, cheerful, warm, and heartfelt would probably surface. Danes would agree with a lot of these. But, they would object, “the most fitting word is missing. You forgot hyggelig!” …

Even though it is possible to hygge all year round, only once a year is hygge the ultimate goal of an entire month. Without achieving hygge, a Dane’s toil for the Christmas project is redundant. Chestnuts, a fireplace, friends, and family coming together around a table of delicious treats; decorations of red, green, and gold; the fresh scent of pine from the Christmas tree; carols everybody knows; and the broadcasting of the very same TV shows as last year- and every year before that- these are features of a fairly ordinary Christmas all over the world.

Indeed there are Christmas traditions which are specifically Danish, but a Danish Christmas is not considerably different from a German, French, or British one in terms of activities or traditions.

What is different in Denmark, though, is that a Danish Christmas will always be planned, thought of, and evaluated in relation to the concept of hygge. At no other time of the year will you hear Danes mentioning hygge as much. It is literally mentioned at any given opportunity. And, of course, Danish includes a compound word julehygge (Christmas hygge), which is both an adjective and a verb. “Do you want to come over for some julehygge?” –The Little Book of Hygge

He dedicates a whole chapter or so to the preparations, sharing in detail the recipe for a hygge worthy Christmas. Most of my readers know that I am Catholic, and the central focus of our Christmas and outcome of Christmas happiness is based on the birth of our Lord. This book is obviously not going into that, but when I read this chapter on a hygge Christmas I was thrilled, and I’m going to tell you why..jah! But first you should read the necessity of the turmoiling preparations to make a hygge Christmas even possible.

*smiles slowly*

All the preparations for a hyggelig Christmas are quite often stressful and, indeed, not very hyggelige. Now, this may seem a bit contradictory, but it actually makes sense. Hygge is possible only if it stands in opposition to something which is not hygge. It is essential for the concept of hygge that it constitutes an alternative to everything that is not hyggligt in our everyday lives. For a brief moment, hygge protects us against that which is not hyggeligt. There must be an anti-hygge for hygge to be valuable. Life might seem stressful. It might seem unsafe and unfair. Life is often centered on money and social status. But life is none of these things in moments of hygge.

In this way, achieving hygge would not be possible with out all the bustle and turmoil leading up to Christmas. All the money, stress, work, and time being sacrificed in the preparations for Christmas leads up to hygge as a climax. Hygge is postponed in order to be accomplished. –The Little Book of Hygge

This all sounds incredibly secular, though I get it! Even if you’re not into hygge (unless you’re a Grinch) Christmas preparations take work, though they don’t necessarily have to be stressful and the like. I’m not actually sure if this author is a Christian or not,though that’s besides the point, as he has given us a crystal clear example from a completely secular point of view, the value and necessity of the Advent season for a successful Christmas.

I love Christmas. But I hate that Christmas isn’t celebrated in the Christmas season . As soon as Thanksgiving is over, and sometimes before, “Christmas” starts to be celebrated all over the country. “In this way, achieving hygge would not be possible with out all the bustle and turmoil leading up to Christmas.” In this way, receiving the true mark of Christmas on your heart and soul from our Infant Christ on Christmas morning would not be possible with out preparing our hearts and souls in the Advent season. The turmoil is necessary. Christmas is postponed in order to be accomplished. Yet the secular world ignores this season given to us by Christ. As with most things, they miss the mark, cheapen the value, and lose the meaning. And what a shame that is.

Advent is a special and beloved time. We are not only preparing our hearts for the coming of our Lord, but we do also take care of the more secular duties. Christmas baking, gift making and getting etc. But except for the special feast days, like St. Nicholas’ and St. Lucys’ it is not a time for feasting. It’s easy to be distracted and swept into the holiday mood with premature Christmas music and holiday decorations up everywhere you go, but the struggle is worth it. Remember as true followers of Christ you will always be going against the way of the world. And the worlds way is skipping advent in this case.

He that is not withme, is againstme: and he that gathereth not with me, scattereth Matt. 12:30

We turn off the radio and sing our own hymns, O come O come Emanuel, and focus our hearts on the empty manger waiting for our Redeemer to come.

Tomorrow will mark the 3rd Sunday of Advent. It’s never too late to “make straight the way to God within”. He’s waiting for you.

One of my favorite Advent hymns:

On Jordan’s bank the Baptist’s cry
Announces that the Lord is nigh;
Awake and hearken, for He brings
Glad tidings of the King of kings.

Then cleansed be ev’ry heart from sin;
Make straight the way of God within;
Oh, let us all our hearts prepare
For Christ to come and enter there.

Family Traditions

I still consider myself to be a newb in all things concerning family life and motherhood. My oldest will be 5 in the Spring. I am at the turning point where I want to be grounded in what we choose for family traditions. Traditions are an important part of family life not only do they add treasured memories and togetherness, but they contribute to higher academics, emotional stability and well being, success, happiness and are even linked with parental competence and marital satisfaction. (Source1)

I loved many of the traditions I grew up with that I get to share with my children and I’m excited for the new(to us) traditions that we have found to add into our family. Some of these are as simple as just making a point to have dinner together each night. Not to be afraid to say no and live life a little slower and hygge it up if you will.

As we are days away from entering into one of my favorite times of year, though, I want to talk about the traditions of advent, the season that prepares us for the most magical Christmas season. Advent means coming. The coming of our infant Lord. The last few years I’ve been reading the book, The Year and Our Children. It is a book written by a faith filled Catholic mother of 6 and she goes through the liturgical year spewing beautiful, rich traditions to pass down the faith in such a memorable and meaningful way.

As she, Mary Reed Newland, has said it so perfectly and in a way that I can only presume was inspired by the Holy Ghost, I simply wanted to share her thoughts on St. Nicholas vs. Santa Claus. This can be a touchy subject. And to each their own. But This is what we have decided to do with our children only because I fully believe it adds to the true meaning and beauty of Christmas while still leaving all the fun and a little mystery.

St. Nicholas, the Christmas Saint

On December 6 comes the feast of the Christmas saint, St. Nicholas, though most of our celebration of this feast comes on his vigil, December 5. We find a puppet show a delightful way to tell his story, explain his relation to the Christ Child, and introduce the hanging of stockings on his feast day.

St. Nicholas was really a Turk born in Asia Minor. For a long time he was Bishop of Myra (near the Southern coast of Turkey to the right of the Island of Rhodes- in case you look for it on a map). An orphan, he grew in love of God, became a priest and made a pilgrimage to the Holy Land to venerate the places of Our Lord’s life. On the voyage a terrible storm threatened to sink the ship, but by his prayers all were saved. For this reason he is venerated as patron of boatmen, fishermen, dock workmen, and sailors.

Returning to his native land he was made a bishop; his generosity and love for the poor and for children, as well as his many miracles, endeared him to Christian people all over the world. He is also venerated as the patron of scholars, coopers and brewers, travelers and pilgrims, those who have unjustly lost a lawsuit, as patron and annual benefactor of school children (especially boys), and is invoked against robbers and ( in Holland) for protection of seafaring men.

Many legends surround St. Nicholas. The story we like best is the well-known tale of the three marriageable daughters who were nevertheless un marriageable for want of dowries. Hearing of their plight, the saint went silently by their house one night and tossed a bag of gold through the window for the oldest, who not long after found a husband for herself with no trouble at all. Then he crept by a second time and tossed a bag of gold through the window for the second daughter, who likewise was suddenly at no loss for suitors. As he was about to toss the gold through the window for the third daughter, the father of the girls caught sight of him. Throwing himself at his feet, he thanked him, confessed his sins, begged his blessing. Plainly it is from this story that the tradition has grown wherein St. Nicholas is said to leave gifts, candies, sweets on window sills, in shoes, and even in the stockings of good little children.

It is the Dutch diminutive Sinter Klaas (Sant Nikolaas) which became , by way of the New Amsterdam Dutch, the familiar American Santa Clause. It is among the Dutch also that we find the appearance of Black Peter, his page, who follows him distributing switches, coal and straw-whatever- to the naughty children as St. Nicholas gives treats to the good.

“Telling the truth about Santa Claus” need not rob children of their Christmas magic. It adds to it with another feast to celebrate, another saint to know and love, another emphasis gently persuading them t meditate on the coming of the Divine Child. And if we really fear to take away that part of it that is surprise, that marvelous moment Christmas morning when the presents are at last mysteriously there, be assured the little ones continue to pretend. Our littlest ones, knowing the truth, continue to pretend that it is all assembled in the most mysterious and magical fashion.

“But-then- who gives us the presents?” children will ask.

“Who loves you most in all the world gives you the presents.”

“Who is that?”

“You guess.”

They screw up their faces, think hard. Then suddenly all brighten: “You- and Daddy, and Grandma and Granny!”

It is like the circle that never ends. God loves mothers and fathers gives them children they will love, and they teach the children about God, and the children love God, and since God wants them all with Him in Heaven, He sends His Son who loves them so much that He gives up His life for them, and that is so much love that it pays for their sins and buys back Heaven for them. . . At Christmas everyone is so happy about all this that we all give each other presents. Shouldn’t that be the reason we give an receive presents?

It would be a little embarrassing to be asked, “Don’t you think the Christ Child is an adequate substitute for Santa Claus?” and feel you must answer No. He really is and He must become the all of Christmas for families who are going to try and live lives of deep faith. It is not really worth it to toss in this “little white lie” when we are trying so hard to teach children impeccable truthfulness. Probably not all children who discover there is no Santa , when they have been told by their parents that there is, will consider their parents dyed-in-the-wool liars, but there is the danger that they will discount some of every other truth they are taught. This is an age when accuracy and unadorned truthfulness are not particularly in vogue. Yet a concern to speak the utter truth in everything will teach a child better than anything else how to be utterly truthful himself, how to be honest with his own conscience- which is the same thing as being honest with God. Santa Claus is not a serious lie, but St. Nicholas in his rightful place, gazing with us at the Christ Child, is a much lovelier truth.

One thing, however, it is not cricket to do: go about the neighborhood telling all the children who do believe in Sainta Claus that “there is none.” This kind of revelation is guaranteed to leave nothing but heartache behind. Without proper explanation or background it is really cheating a child of something he dearly loves. Most children can learn to keep their own counsel about this; where there is disparity on the subject in the neighborhood, with love and tact the mothers can explain and help prevent unpleasant exchanges.

The Puppet Show the Vigil and the Feast

(Any one who hangs out with me knows I love to talk in any accent that currently fits the bill, so this puppet show is a new family tradition I relish, jah!)

Our puppets are made from socks- a white one for St. Nicholas and a black one for Black Peter.

In her book she goes over the short details on how they make their sock puppets. Suffice it to say I drew on their faces and glued some cottony beard(white for St. Nicholas, black for Black Peter, jah) and made make shift hats. She also made a little stage with cardboard. I just went behind the couch. I’m sure as my children grow I’ll get more impressive with my efforts, right now they’re too easy to please and I am not above taking advantage of that!

Everyone assembles after dinner on December 5, the vigil of the feast, and the puppet show begins. First St. Nicholas appears, bowing with dignity and murmuring: “Thank you, thank you,” to the shouts and clapping. He has a Dutch accent (just for merriment) , and if your accent isn’t all it might be, frequent interpolations of “jah, jah” convince all present that it is superb.

“I am not, you know, the real reason for Christmas. Even though I am sometimes called Santa Claus, I am not the reason for Christmas. Oh no. Baby Jesus is the reason for Christmas. It is His birthday, Christmas, the day His Father in Heaven gave Him to all of us. “

” I am waiting in Heaven, now, like you on earth, for His birthday on Christmas Day. And do you want to know something? That is why I gave gifts to little children when I was on earth! Because I was so grateful to God the Father for giving Jesus to me. That is why we give each other presents on Christmas Day, because we are full of joy and gladness that Jesus came down to be one of us and to die to pay for our sins.”

“Now, here is something you may do for my feast, and it pleases me so very much. You hang your stockings tonight, and if you are very good children- you will get cookies in them! (or sub with your personal preference) But if you are bad-! Ahhhh- if you are bad, you will get, not cookies- but straw! Black Peter will put straw in them.”

Up pops Black Peter, giggling and snickering and wagging his hands at the audience, which promptly rolls on the floor and shrieks.

The Bishop Nicholas is grave. “Peter, Peter! Behave yourself or I will have to use a switch on you! Peter, you are going to put straw in some stockings? Jah?”

“Ah- he will not tell. Peter, be fair now. No straw for the good children, you know. But be honest as well, straw for the naughty ones!”

Peter snickers again, wags at the children, then turns and throws himself on the Bishop, arms around his neck, mewing noisily. As the Bishop nods his head paternally, Peter slyly turns to the children, waves a free arm and giggles.

After this you can have Peter sing a song or two and the Bishop can end with a hymn and lead the children in a little prayer or two, asking for the grace to be good and to love little Jesus with all their hearts.

Then it is all over. All go rushing about looking for stockings, full of high hopes for cookies.

Last year we opened this book, The Legend of Saint Nicholas, for a family gift on the feast of St. Nicholas and it is full of little legends about him that made him come alive even more to my kids. I also like this version as it tells about him as he truly was, a bishop.

What do you do in your home, St. Nicholas or Santa Claus, neither? What do you do for advent? Will you try out this puppet show? What are your favorite traditions? I’d love to hear all about it!

Thanks Giving For Our Ordinary Life

As tomorrow is Thanksgiving, I’m quite sure everyone will be flooded with words of thankfulness, at least I hope so. I also hope that doesn’t only happen on Thanksgiving. I know I’m beyond grateful that I’m married to a man that tells me quite often how grateful he is for me. And I believe we try our hardest to give our kids an attitude of gratitude. I know, it sounds cheesy, but, it can’t be helped.

I feel extremely grateful. Especially for the “insignificant” happenings of everyday life. In the middle of the night, when your 9 month old starts waking up three times every night to eat..I’m careful to not complain in such moments, because I think those are the most important and sometimes the most trying moments, when no one is watching. And if I do complain, I’m always sure to say sorry to our Lord. He is giving us the opportunity to forge our character and grow, and what better time to practice virtue than when you’re tired or hungry. He gave us the perfect example of this, after all. I’m grateful we have a warm house she gets to wake up in, and that I have the means to satisfy her hunger, that I have her, and for the loving family I’m surrounded with everyday. I’m grateful.

Not just in November. All year long. I remind myself that so many families and children don’t have such basic needs met; a warm house, clean water, nourishing food, a loving family. That so many sinners didn’t get a chance to tell God they’re sorry. That so many people don’t have the faith. I could go on. But yes to all of this! This is why I focus on joy. Because unlike happiness, circumstances can never steal your joy if you have faith, if you have God.

I wanted to share todays reading from my favorite daily devotional, Imitation Of Christ, (If you don’t have a copy of this add it to the list of must haves!)these are so short and powerful, a 5 minute or less read every morning makes a world of difference for me and I hope it sets the mood for your day/week too…especially if you get to have a super long weekend!

Christ:

Son, I have said, Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth do I give unto you. -John XIV.27.

Peace is what all desire; but all care not for those things which appertain to true peace.

My peace is with the humble and meek of heart. Thy peace will be in much patience.

And as for the sayings or doings of others, judge of nothing rashly, neither busy thyself with things not committed to thy care, and thus may it be brought about that thou shalt be little or seldom disturbed.

But never to feel any trouble, nor to suffer any grief of heart or pain of body, is not the state of this present life, but of everlasting rest.

Think not , therefore, that thou hast found true peace if thou feel no burden; nor that then all is well if thou hast no adversary, nor that thou hast attained to perfection if all things be done according to thy inclination.

Neither do thou conceive a great opinion of thyself, nor imagine thyself to be especially beloved, if thou experience great devotion and sweetness; for it is not in such things as these that a true lover of virtue is known, nor doth the progress and perfection of a man consist in these things.

Disciple:

In what then, O Lord?

Christ:

In offering thyself with thy whole heart to the will of God, not seeking the things that are thine, either in little or great, either in time or eternity.

So that with the same equal countenance thou mayst continue giving thanks, both in prosperity and adversity, weighing all things with an equal balance.

If thou come to be so valiant and long-suffering in hope, that when interior comfort is withdrawn thou canst prepare thy heart to suffer still more, and dost not justify thyself, as if thou oughtst not to suffer such great things.

But acknowledgest My justice in all My appointments and praisest My holy name, then it is that thou walkest in the true and right way of peace and mayst hope, with out any doubt, to see My face again with great joy. -Job XXXIII.26

And if thou arrive at an entire contempt of thyself know then that thou shalt enjoy an abundance of peace, as much as is possible in this state of banishment.

-Imitation of Christ

A Happy Thanksgiving week to all family, friends, and strangers alike! I hope you spend it in good company!

If you’re traveling, remember St. Christopher, patron saint of travelers! A prayer to a good friend in heaven can never be said too often!