most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.

Tuesday, May 03, 2016

CLUBBING with SPIROS

hey you

yes, it's true. after something of an absence here for the last few weeks or so, Spiros makes a welcome return. well, not actually Spiros in person, look you see, but an account of his further adventures. and no, despite how you may well have read the title of this post, Spiros has not been off to Alaska, or any other such area where seals are plentiful.

Spiros has, as the greatest legal mind of his generation, been involved in some top secret matters of late. these are things i am aware of, partially, and cannot disclose beyond saying yes, it involves that whole EU thing. what this has meant, in practical terms for you and i, is that he hasn't been able to engage in fisticuffs with drivers much of late, and nor has he been able to meet men to form brief but meaningful friendships with.

this is something which changed somewhat when someone elected to open up a roller disco within walking distance of one of the offices he presently works out of.

as far as i can work out this splendid new club is called Bump, although also i suppose that first letter might not be a B and maybe it is called Rump. whilst the former is more plausible, the latter is certainly more appropriate, going on what Spiros told me of his adventures in there.

and adventures is what he had, ladies and gentlemen. seldom, if ever, does it take much persuading to get Spiros to get down and get with it at a disco, and once placed within walking distance near where he was doing some legal stuff meant that legal stuff was set aside, or otherwise passed on to someone else to do.

more of the disco later, but i know that the Spiros you know and love reading about is the Spiros who engages black cab drivers in bouts of physical combat. in that regard he has, alas, been a bit quiet of late, but a recent billboard has inspired him to have a crack at this "Uber" business.

Spiros, as is his way, sees the potential threat of an Uber driver possibly trying to interfere with him sexually during a ride as nothing more than a challenge. it's a challenge he wholeheartedly invites. at present, then, when he is not inside a roller disco he is very much using the Wi Fi of black cabs to summon Uber drivers to see if they want to try it on with him.

leaving that aside, then, back to the roller disco. Spiros was well taken by it, in particular the fact that the Village People were playing on the stereo as he went in. which song off of the Village People? it doesn't really matter, they are all smart.

the inside of Bump / Rump looks just about as smart as you would expect it to from the outside, or if you like exterior, and that to me seems like a very serviceable roller skating rink.

do i roller disco? alas, no. weirdly i took to ice skating rather well and could probably do that again if there was for some reason a requirement for me to do so, but with roller skating i was always hopeless. this has, in fairness, translated over to my driving skill and prowess.

a moment of your time, ladies and gentlemen, to appreciate the cover of the latest edition of The New Yorker, a most splendid publication. this is the first edition, i would hardly need to tell you after you saw it, to come out after the passing of Prince.

succinct? the very definition of it, ladies and gentlemen. what a perfect, simple, beautiful tribute to have made.

anyway, roller disco. a review of it off of Spiros? he says that it's virtually identical to his favourite nightclub of all time, Klub Knight Riders 2000. he reckons the differences are minimal, with them being limited to this new club being in London rather than Entebbe, the music being rather more 70s disco rather than modern kwaito and rap, and that the progressive laws of England compared to Uganda mean that men in this new club are not afraid to embrace each other out of passion for the music.

ah yeah, in that picture i would say that it's pretty clear it is called Bump rather than Rump. you never know, though, a rival disco might open up and call itself Rump.

Spiros also reckons that the gentleman's bathroom facilities are some of the finest which he has ever hung around in. he says that they are spacious and provide ample room to socialise and meet other men, yet also that there are parts of it where privacy can be sought. i think, going on the timing of emails he sent, Spiros spent upward of an hour in the facilities, no doubt making some fantastic friends, even if only for a little while.

what do i think of LTDA using the threat of how you might get interfered with sexually if you use Uber as a means of transport? i'd never use Uber anyway as it sounds like a twat thing, made for twats by twats. but i suspect that this is not the sort of thing the authorities quite had in mind when they relaxed the laws of the land to allow comparative advertising.

is it at all likely that i will go to this roller disco? quite probably as and when i next go to London. by the sounds of it Spiros is now set on pretty much living there, so to see him i must go there.