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All those damn kids are the problem!: As a recently retired police captain with 30 years of service, I have seen my share of death and destruction, particularly as it relates to the carnage that is occurring and has occurred on our highways. With thi...

on December 11, 2003

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It's 7:30 pm on a Monday, and the bartenders are clearing away someone's dinner from an open spot at the bar of Mangos (904 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). As I try to put my purse down on the empty chair beside me, a husky man with a stack of ...

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It was lunchtime on a hot Friday in October, and the Ortiz family cottage on Morton Avenue in West Palm Beach seemed to be bursting with restless kids. The house, a cramped, two-bedroom rental unit, maybe two dozen paces from end to end, resounded wi...

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Andy Markley, a graphic designer in Sacramento, California, was finishing some work on Saturday, August 30. The Labor Day weekend upon him, Markley was ready to relax.
But before leaving his office, he decided to check his e-mail one last time. To h...

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Huh, Mr. Mayor, sir? Huh? It seems to me that nobody was really much fooled by your hoax article about anarchists' releasing rodents at the Republican Governors Association meeting in Boca Raton ("Our Own Smarty-pants," November 27). None of the news...

on December 4, 2003

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What a difference four years makes.
In 1999, some Christian conservatives were so demoralized at having failed to remove Bill Clinton from office that they were ready to drop out of politics. Moral Majority co-founder Paul Weyrich went so far as to...

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This is my second and last newspaper article. That's because I, Greg O'Shube, am entirely made up, as was every fact and detail of my first article. It appeared in last week's edition of New Times ("Anarchy in a Briefcase," November 20), claiming tha...

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Francine Katz is not happy. The 68-year-old Jewish matchmaker sits at her dining room table in Miami Beach, leafing through her big black date book. She shuffles through printouts of a 45-year-old divorcee looking for someone who is great with kids, ...

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The acronym used by North Broward Hospital District staff for the $32 million medical office building project -- "MOB" -- says it all. Meyer Lansky would have been proud.
As I wrote here November 6, the publicly funded district intends to pay a few...

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Norman steps out of the deep freeze: Even though I have been enjoying Bob Norman's articles, I was ready to write and ask him to revisit the bloody mess in Iraq. (I think you guys call it "war"; since English is not my first language, I call it as I ...

on November 27, 2003

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Steve Rosen owns a motorcycle, a jet plane, and a black Corvette. Even when he is not in a vehicle, the 52-year-old dentist is always moving. On the road, he likes to lead, but he's a bitch to follow. He alternately presses hard on the gas pedal, the...

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None of the rallies in Miami to protest the Free Trade Area of the Americas (FTAA) summit can rival what's supposed to come next. Anarchists plan a massive infiltration of a Republican governors meeting that begins Thursday, November 20, in Boca Rato...

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Ann Sparks grabs a nightstick out of her 1995 Dodge Dakota pickup and hooks a leash to the collar of her not-very-nice-to-strangers black rottweiler/labrador mix, Tiger. She leaves her .38 at home.
The 47-year-old Orlando-born businesswoman owns a ...

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After several meetings with two local congressmen about the Iraq War, it's time to unleash the transcript. Democratic Reps. Robert Wexler of Boca Raton and Peter Deutsch of Pembroke Pines revealed their most intimate thoughts during the sessions, tho...

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LRN is scum: Let me say that as a fan of reggae, I was pleased that you recognized a few facts about Jamaicans in South Florida ("Reggae-fyin'," Rebecca Meiser, November 13). This is a group of immigrants that is making an impressive mark on our regi...

on November 20, 2003

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All over Himmarshee, there were boys in white. The USS Ronald Reagan was docked in Port Everglades from November 11 to 14, which meant a three-day injection of about 2,000 horny men into Fort Lauderdale's nightlife. Once, these uniformed chaps might ...

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Something unusual happened on Monday, September 9, 2002. Keith Gross was late for work. A 24-year-old with tanned white skin and brown hair cropped short on the sides, Gross was known around Kitchens to Go in Fort Lauderdale as a firebrand who spoke ...

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Dayo stands with his hands on his hips, his white cotton Ralph Lauren T-shirt tucked into the band of his dressy black cargo pants. His feet, clad in a pair of red Adidas three-stripers, tap impatiently.
It's the second day of casting for the new J...

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Peter Deutsch has been giving it to Miami-Dade Mayor Alex Penelas good. For the past few months, the Pembroke Pines congressman has been playing the Elliot Ness -- or Eliot Spitzer, if you prefer -- of the U.S. Senate race. Both Democrats, of course,...