The Home of Andy Pokrivnak and #Andy

[#Andy note – This is a post in the Throwback Thursday series where I am importing all of my old blogs and articles into the new andysite.net and giving a brief thought or two looking back 5-10 years later.]

Still working on the whole… keeping up with this. For today’s Throwback Thursday, how about a quick jump in the Wayback Machine to 2006?

I don’t entirely remember the reason I started blogging back in May of 2006, but this is the 4th post I ever wrote. This is the 4th post I wrote on the same night that I started the blog.

I LITERALLY started a blog at 1AM one night, wrote 4 posts, went to bed, wrote another post in the afternoon, did who knows what else, and then wrote another post at 11PM. That’s SIX (6) POSTS in one day. This is only the sixth since I moved to WordPress, and 50% of them have been reposting old ones! Oh, to be young!

I chose this one for today specifically because it is so short, and is nothing but a quip that these days would just be a Facebook post. Hell, the Facebook post probably wouldn’t even have the ‘Continue Reading…’ expansion!

Short version: I don’t like sliced bread.

4 Observations looking back…

The first few years of blogging, I felt compelled to title every entry with a song or song lyric. I’m sure I stole it from someone else. 2017 #Andy guesses it is Alan Sepinwall who starts every review, “… just as soon as I [reference or quote from TV episode he’s reviewing].” However, I don’t think 2006 #Andy Farva was reading TV critics.

The song I’m referencing is obviously I Ran by A Flock Of Seagulls. Pretty sure that I first heard it on the GTA: Vice City radio. What in the world does it have to do with sliced bread though?

Today in old technology! This post was spurred from having a thought while coming up with an AIM away message. AOL Instant Messenger has a fascinating history, and for the first few years of college were the dominant method of communication before smartphones became prevalent and Facebook expanded their platform to make messaging a core component. Simpler times and I still have most of my chat logs on a hard drive somewhere.

I say that unsliced bread has at least 3 more uses than sliced bread, but neglected to name them. That… isn’t helpful. If I had to guess, it would be A) the ability to cut different sized slices B) the ability to carry around and just take bites out of C) the ability to… Oh, who am I kidding? I have no damn idea! The ability to swing like a baseball bat and hit things?! Yeah, let’s go with that.

First things first. As always, I’m trying to find a way to make myself sit down and write. The current scheme: A week in review every-ish Monday or Tuesday! No one has ever done that. Not to mention with a horrible name like #NoAIRy.

So let’s break it down:# – Hashtag. That’s what I do. It’s in my name.AIR – Andy In Reviewy – AIRY… ANDY… They start and end with the same letters! Get it?No –

Also, it sorta sounds like Film Noir…y. Better name suggestions are obviously welcome.

Anyway, onto the content. I consume a bunch of things on a daily basis, from articles to podcasts to YouTube videos to TV shows, and often end up going down rabbit holes that lead me to…. crazy, crazy things. In about 1000 words a week, I’m going to talk about them.

TV

Horace and Pete – 11 months ago, the incomparable Louis CK sent an e-mail to his mailing list saying in essence, “HEY! I made a TV show! Watch it.” I’ve been meaning to watch it all year. Last month, the esteemed critic Alan Sepinwall made it his Number 1 show of 2016. I finally started watching it over Christmas and have finished 5 of the 10 episodes. Simply unique. Unique is one of those words that are thrown around too often these days. It applies here. A filmed play for television (there is literally a card that says ‘Intermission’ that shows up for about 20 seconds in the middle of each episode), the acting is top notch, and the ability to take chances that actually stand out in this era of risk-taking television speaks volumes. Many good shows are off the wall. This one is so out of the norm, it stands out.

The Sopranos – Even though I consume a ton of TV, I somehow never watched it. The Wire is the best show of all time. Period. Hard stop. However, Sopranos is almost always listed in the pantheon. I’ve been slowly bingeing it in fits and spurts over the past year. I finally finished Season 4 and started Season 5. 4 was a bad season. Janice is a horrible character that drags the show down. It ended well. It has too many downsides to supplant The Wire, but when I finish another 28 episodes, it will almost certainly be in my Top 10.

House Hunters – Yeah, I said it. I despise this show because the complaints are always the most asinine ever. “Well, it has all the features I want in the location I want, BUT the porch has a swing and I wanted a hammock, so I’m instead going to go with this other house that barely meets my criteria.” However the following factors coalesced: 1) I’ve been looking for a house for over a year now. 2) I found out there was a moderately recent episode based in Orlando. 3) I had some sort of promotional credit for Amazon Digital Video, so it only cost 99 cents.

She wanted to be close to downtown, have a modern kitchen, more sqft than her current 1300sqft house, and stay within her 180k budge. Spoiler: She bought this house. It’s on the other side of the 417.

Under Blatt, James had a habit of talking directly to the team during timeouts, but Lue shut that down, reportedly at one point saying, “Shut the f— up, I got this.”

YouTube

Everyone remembers the Seinfeld where Kramer is on Murphy Brown. Apparently to pay it back, Jerry and Larry David went on a CBS show I’ve never heard of named Love & War, which was created by the same person as Murphy Brown (Diane English).

Vogue is doing some crazy thing where they ask celebrities an insane number of questions. It’s largely stupid, although Neil Patrick Harris tries his best to keep the entertainment up while giving a tour of his INCREDIBLE house in Harlem. However, the first minute or so needs to be watched solely to see his “trophy room” / office. An entire shelf of Emmys and the booth from HIMYM? Alright, NPH, you win.

As most anyone that knows me would tell you, I would gladly trade all I have if I could be a performer or work in television… and get paid well. Fun fact: Good luck with that. However this awesome split-screen video of the director of the Tony’s super-imposed with NPH’s opening number from 2013 is breathtaking and reminds me how fun Live TV is to be a part of.

Not technically YouTube, but someone jumped off of the 22nd floor of my building. That deserves an embed.

This Week’s Topical Trivia Team Name

George Michael’s Last Christmas.
(Not original, but had to be done.)

Rabbit Hole Discovery of the Week

The City of Orlando Land Development Code has a defined minimum and maximum parking for putt-putt courses within the city limits.

This means that for a standard 18-hole putt-putt course, you must have at least 20 parking spaces, but not more than 33.

[#Andy note – This is a post in the Throwback Thursday series where I am importing all of my old blogs and articles into the new andysite.net and giving a brief thought or two looking back 5-10 years later.]

Only took a year, but here’s the second Throwback Thursday article. I promise, some actual content WILL be up this week. I swear… sorta.

The second article in this series will show how nothing changes. By my count, this is the 4th time(*) I’ve attempted to start writing again. This post was my intro to the 2nd restart back in April of 2009. I specifically tried to shift into my interests at the time, which basically meant more Cavs talk, less long-form stories to make you laugh. From a brief look, it lasted two months and a whopping six posts… including the intro. Also, in an amusing coincidence with the last #TBT post that involved the 2010 Cavs, this entry briefly brings up the 2008-09 Cavs which is my favorite team by far and ended with the best record in Franchise History (which I then bought a shirt that says as much!). I’d put a picture of it here, but I haven’t decided how to handle images on the new blog. Probably should get on that. Anyway…

(*) Probably 7th if you include my joint-venture with Nick (Relevant Rambling) or my blog specifically dedicated to my IT internship… that also never finished.

5 Observations looking back…

I’m so prescient. 6 years later, I finally moved off of Blogger!

Yay for old technology. Two YouTube videos are linked to in the post. These days, there is the fancy embed tag which I’m going to attempt to use now!

I had completely forgotten about that Heineken commercial. Except for the fact the YouTube video is in a different language, it still holds up…. Why did I link to a YouTube video from a different country? Was there really no version of it in English? Oh internet in 2009, you crazy.

The phenomenon of a single commercial being overplayed way too much during a sporting event (March Madness and the NBA Playoffs are notorious for this) didn’t stop**… or start there. The first I heard of it was the 2004 Olympics when HD wasn’t yet mainstream, so they sold different ads than the SD broadcast. Except, when I used a plural there, it should have been singular. They sold ONE ad… for a Sony Wega HDTV set… to people that already had HDTVs. Oddly enough, I CAN’T find it on YouTube, but here’s a link. I can’t imagine how maddening that would have been every commercial break.

My favorite part is the ending where I promised future posts. To no one’s surprise, I never wrote any of them. I’m so intrigued about Baja Fresh and the Coke Machine that Wasn’t. I may actually do some digging into old photos and call some old friends and see if I can unearth that one.

So… I tried to start this whole writing/blogging thing again last year. Failed. Miserably.

But with today being 365 days since the last post (thanks leap year for ruining the even one-year number!), what better time than now to start again. I’ve been collecting a decent enough batch of stories, reviews, commentaries, nonsense, and the ilk over the past few months with the intentions to start again, but have Failed. Miserably.

It is April 22nd. I have a full weekend of plans. I have a cruise upcoming. A wedding a few weeks later. Buckeye Boys State is shortly after that. I’m finally re-enrolled in college to finish my Spanish classes and get my degree. Let’s all be honest with ourselves. Within two months weeks, this blog will once again Fail. Miserably.

But that is a problem for Future Andy! And current #Andy thinks this can work. At least 1 post, plus a #TBT post each week. That can happen! Some weeks, maybe even 2!

Upcoming things that I feel the need to tell the world about:

Mythos at Universal Islands of Adventure

“Select” Fruit of the Loom A-Shirts available only at Target

Coupons and setting myself up for Failure

A local Orlando blog Hates Me

Some Investigative Journalism that aforementioned blog is too lazy to Do

Bragging about my Fantasy Baseball strategy so I can look back in 5 months when everything Fails

Bad article titles and why I still feel compelled to capitalize the final Word

[#Andy note – This is a post in the Throwback Thursday series where I am importing all of my old blogs and articles into the new andysite.net and giving a brief thought or two looking back 5-10 years later.]

Welcome everyone to the first Throwback Thursday article. Over the years, I’ve written blogs and articles in so many different places, numerous of which are no longer online or have dead links/images. As part of my attempt to have a compendium of… me*, I’m going to be reposting all of them here on the new andysite.net.

(*) Also, let’s be honest. It’s an easy form of content that I can toss together in about 10 minutes.

The first article in the series is in honor of the Game 3 of Cavs-Celtics happening tonight, which is of course the first road playoff game since the Cavs lost to the Celtics in 5 games back in 2010. This is an article I wrote for former Buckeye TV-alum Brian Rosen’s short lived website–LeBrownsTown in the summer of 2009 previewing the Wine and Gold’s path to the NBA finals.

4 Observations looking back…

It’s only been half of a decade, but some of these names make no sense. Who the HELL is Rob Kurz?

My background has always been in TV, so I have a very “spoken” style of writing. This isn’t the norm, so a few regular commenters on the site had some harsh words. My favorite being someone with a handle of ‘beshketballjones’ saying, “Is this article from SI for Kids?”

I was fully on the Brandon Bass bandwagon, which proved entirely incorrect since he ended up averaging only 5.8 points and 2.5 rebounds in a whopping 13 minutes per game. I’m going to say I was just ahead of the times, since he is now starting for the Celtics.

Well, I was wrong. I really thought the Cavs would steamroll through the East and that Shaq would be the equalizer against Orlando. As we all know that match-up never occurred because the year-older Celtics were still young enough to beat the Cavs with a little help from South Beach and a mysterious elbow.

With all due respect to Allen Iverson and Ramon Sessions aside, Lamar Odom’s decision to re-sign with the Lakers last week signifies the end of this year’s NBA Free Agent bonanza. While the Cavaliers still have their Bi-Annual Exception, I don’t foresee Rob Kurz, Steve Novak, Joe Smith, or Wally Szczerbiak significantly upgrading the 09-10 roster. With that being said, the Cavs did not get worse in the off-season. Here are the additions and subtractions…

Shaq becoming the starting center improves the Cavs on both ends of the floor with his big body on defense bringing the Cavs a luxury they have missed for over a decade. Meanwhile, Zydrunas Ilgauskas coming off the bench gives the Cavs an obvious upgrade over Joe Smith/Ben Wallace and a scoring punch from all over the floor. Parker and Moon should excel defensively under Mike Brown’s tutelage, and will exceed Sasha and Wally’s combined 12 PPG. Wright and Kinsey, despite fan appeal, are non-factors except in extensive injured reserve situations.

With that surmised–The Cavaliers will easily win the Eastern Conference. The reason for this is that every team in the East became worse with their free agent signings/acquisitions. Coming off a year where they finished 76-20, losing to only the Orlando Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals, Cleveland was, and still is, the cream of the crop. An astounding 45-3 at home, they dominated all teams except for the Lakers and Magic–the two teams that were in the finals.

Since the Eastern Conference is very bottom heavy, every team will be addressed albeit briefly: (NOTE that all records are last year’s regular season records)

The Lottery Scrubs:

Washington (19-63): A healthy Arenas and the addition of Randy Foye and Mike Miller mean nothing. The Cavs beat this team three years in a row, and will beat them four out of five if it comes (and possibly will) to that.

New York (32-50): A team that is foolishly saving for 2010 to try to lure LeBron and another premiere free agent. With the cap potentially decreasing upwards of $4 million, that will be next to impossible. Either way, not on the postseason radar.

Toronto (33-49): The addition of Hedo Turkoglu paired with Chris Bosh is a formidable late game combination. This of course assumes that they are able to keep it close enough to run the infamous Turkoglu screen-roll for the game winner at the end. A contender for the postseason, but not a threat without the abundance of outside shooters that Orlando had.

Milwaukee (34-38): Who knows what their current game plan is. Either way, they have enough talent to win games, but not enough cohesion to contend. Possibly squeaking into the 8 seed, but an easy sweep.

New Jersey (34-38): Replacing Vince Carter with Courtney Lee is a good plan in the long run, but Rafer Alston will not be happy coming off the bench. Essentially the same team as last year.

Charlotte (35-47): The most scary thing about this team is that they could still sign Allen Iverson to team up with Larry Brown for a year. The most satisfying thing about them is that they still will struggle to break .500.

Indiana (36-46): There was once a movie called ‘White Men Can’t Jump’. Half their roster will be on IR, and Granger will attempt to carry them. No chance of winning a seven-game series.

The Playoff Pretenders:

Detroit (39-43): The Pistons made the biggest Free Agent splash of the year by signing two big names right at the beginning. However, the signings of Gordon and Villanueva didn’t fix the gaping hole under the basket which was only widened by the departure of McDyess and Wallace. When your best five are all 6-11 and under, and that one guy that is 6-11 is Charlie Villanueva, you aren’t making it deep into the playoffs. Prince showed last year that he couldn’t play the 4–hence why Iverson was sent to the bench and eventually shown the door. I don’t foresee that changing this year.

Chicago (41-41): When your big move of the offseason is letting your best clutch shooter leave in free agency (Granted, I wouldn’t want Barrage of Bad Shots Ben Gordon on my team either), I tend not to be worried about you. Shaq/Z easily match up with Miller, and Noah is a poor man’s Anderson Varejao. No issues here.

Philadelphia (41-41): Another team that is hoping addition by subtraction pays off. While I feel Jrue Holiday will turn into a solid veteran in the NBA (Probably never an All-Star or All-NBA guy), he’s no better than Andre Miller. Even if Elton Brand comes back healthy, his and Iguodala’s styles still don’t mesh, so another .500 season and first round exit will be had by the Sixers.

Miami (43-39): I’m pretty sure no one knows what Miami’s game plan is. A failure to sign Lamar Odom means that unless they end up trading for Carlos Boozer, they have the exact same team as last year. Yes, Chalmers and Beasley will both have a year more experience under their belts, but that means O’Neal and Wade will both be a year older and have another year’s mileage on their knees. We’re more than 2/3rds through the Eastern Conference with nay a challenger.

Atlanta (47-35): Just like the past two teams… The Hawks were swept by the Cavaliers in the second round and made no additions to make it past that point next season.

What Really Matters…

And finally where it almost remotely gets interesting. So interesting that I’m switching up the order for suspense.

Boston (62-20): The Celtics’ big move was not re-signing the very capable Big Baby Davis (though this could still change), and replacing him with temperamental 35-year old, Rasheed Wallace. This is the same starting five that the Cavs haven’t lost to on their home court.

And Rasheed hasn’t been a factor against the Cavs recently. While starting for the Pistons in 12 games against the Cavs over the past two seasons, Sheed has averaged only 8.8 PPG, with only one game over 20 points, and the significant majority being single digit scoring efforts. Unless Wallace decides to invoke the spirit of a game seven Leon Powe, there’s nothing to worry about here as long as the Cavs have the home court advantage, and most likely even if they don’t.

Orlando (59-23): Orlando succeeded (and failed) on two significant premises. They ran an unconventional lineup that had two stretch forwards, surrounded by a deadly center and three-point shooters. The second premise is that because of the irregularity, they had only a mediocre shooting guard. This off-season they decided to throw that entire formula out the window. By letting Hedo walk, they lost the part of their offense that plays directly into the Cavs deficiency–two long forwards that can play away from the hoop, since only LeBron is capable of defending those type of players. (Granted, the addition of Moon may help in this department).

The Magic felt their loss to the Lakers was predicated on not having a shooting guard to match up with Kobe Bryant. The answer to this problem? Vince Carter. Sure, trading for Vinsanity as well as signing Brandon Bass and re-signing Marcin Gortat allows you to match up with the Lakers much better, but what good does it do if you can’t get there?

They now fit the mold of a prototypical NBA team that the Cavs match up with amazingly well. LeBron will guard Rashard Lewis, who shifts to play small forward, thus eliminating the mismatch that the Magic had by playing Lewis at the 4. Delonte will spend the entire game hounding Vince Carter. As the only player besides Devin Harris that could make a shot for the Nets last year, Carter averaged 19 ppg as a volume scorer against the Cavs. Taking significantly less shots due to the better players around him (Lewis and Howard, we’ll hypothesize that Harris and Nelson cancel out), Carter will be lucky to average 13 a night. Plus, Varejao matches up better against Bass than Lewis, so he can play the whole game

What the Magic/Cavs games will come down to is Mike Brown. If he lets Dwight Howard go crazy, and go for 30 points, 15 rebounds per game against Shaq/Z, the Cavs will win. Between Carter’s need for shots and the amount of possessions it will take Howard to score that many, it is a perfect storm for a Cavaliers victory.

However, knowing Mike Brown, he will probably do something ridiculous in response to a lopsided loss that happens solely because Nelson, Carter, Lewis, and Pietrus off the bench combine to shoot 85 percent from three-point range. Most likely his strategy will be to start doubling Dwight again. Luckily, with Brandon Bass in the lineup instead of Hedo, you only have to worry about containment to 15-feet instead of a 24-foot three-point shooter. Even at this juncture, there is little to worry about, because at best it will be a close game going into the final stretch run much like the games of last year’s Easter Conference Finals. What killed the Cavs repeatedly is the screen roll with Turkoglu and Howard. With Turkoglu gone, it will fall to Jameer Nelson’s very capable hands to run the play.

Ultimately, while still dangerous, this is far easier to defend than with Hedo handling the ball, and with Bass in the lineup (though chances are the Magic would play small with Lewis at the 4 and Pietrus at the 3) the advantage falls to Cleveland. The Cavs can move Delonte over to the ball handler with Mo playing off-the-ball where he is a capable defender, and Varejao playing off of Bass to contribute weak-side help defense. This should all but ensure a tough shot or a quick pass to Carter or Lewis who will have time to do little but catch-and-shoot. These are odds I’ll take, especially with Carter advancing in age and Lewis having LeBron draped over him.

So with all that having been said, I couldn’t be happier about the way the off-season has progressed in the NBA. I feel the Cavs are ridiculous favorites to run away with the East. If they lose more than four games in the playoffs on the road to the NBA Finals (barring significant injury), I will be aghast. Once they get to the Finals, it is another story, as formidible foes await in the West. Make sure to register and feel free to disprove my theories in the comments section below, I will respond and discuss the top threats in the West in [a much shorter] Part Two coming later.

So the blog is coming back again, this time with a slightly different spin. There won’t one theme to it like previously when it was all humor; it will now be a stream of consciousness… whatever comes to my mind. (And yes, I realize I’ve said this before).

Right now, I have three main topics that will probably be covered. Sports (with an emphasis on the Cavs), Contemporary Events/Ramblings/Rants, and Humor. While some people will clearly be disinterested in some of them, they can simply skip that entry.

At some point if I ever find the time/inclination to, it’ll probably be moved off of Blogger (granted, it’s already on my own website). That way if you to just deal with certain topics you can just go to something like cavs.andysite.net. I’m sure its possible somehow, simply a matter of if I care enough to figure it out.

To end with just a little bit of actual content for this entry, I provide you one of the things that has made me laugh in the past week. If you’ve watched TV at all in the past couple months, you couldn’t have missed this Heineken commercial. Well, as with any decent commercial, you quickly get tired of it when it’s played every break.

Well, this past week, the Cavs debuted a new sketch on the Q-Vision in between quarters during the victory over the Pistons. It has since been posted online, and I simply am going to tell you to watch it. As much as I hate the word, this team has ridiculous chemistry and brotherhood. But that means nothing if they don’t play well. However, I imagine they will because like Delonte says at the end, “It’s the Playoffs man, It’s the Playoffs.”

So the Cavaliers present their Playoff Proposal. They’re Ready (and up 2-0 against the Pistons with Game 3 starting as I write this). Are you?

Coming up tomorrow/later this week/in the future: Baja Fresh and the Coke Machine that Wasn’t, Tracing the lineage of the current Cavs Roster, and OSU’s Spring Game.

So I just went to make an away message informing everyone about the greatness that is this new blog.

I decided to be cliche and say “So I made a blog, and it is the best thing since sliced bread”

But then I thought about it… I REALLY hate sliced bread. It’s good for lunchmeat sandwiches and that’s it. AND I DONT LIKE LUNCHMEAT SANDWICHES. If I’m going to eat lunchmeat, put it on a sub. Is that so much to ask?

The unsliced bread is so much better. There’s at least 3 more uses it has over sliced bread. There’s nothing better than a decently thick slice of italian bread that you just cut.

So therefore sliced bread sucks, and because I have a blog I have a way to tell everyone my opinion on it.