Re: Child Support Woes

I am not a Father, but I can feel his and your pain just by reading your posts Booner, especially your last reply. I did not talk to my Father for 8 years and I know it killed him, and it hurt me as well, but I was stubborn and felt I was right (long story) but we are in contact again, and we talk often, I missed my Dad and was so scared that if he were to die that I would have never had the chance to tell him that I DID and DO Love him, and I make sure to tell him that every time we talk or see each other now.

I am not writing this reply to give you any advice, I'm writing this reply to just let you know, I understand where you are coming from and it saddens me deeply to read this posting from you, no I do not know you, but, that does not stop me from feeling your pain.

I truly want to offer my Blessings to you, your husband and his daughter, hopefully when she grows up, she will realize the mistake she has made, as you said, your DH would have gladly helped her had she talked to him first, but instead she went behind his back, and I do not blame you or your DH one bit for being pissed off about this situation.

Her real Mother sounds like a real winner, let's just hope the daughter does not turn out like her in the long run.

Re: Child Support Woes

Another suggestion - (maybe I said this already) is to go to court and get a limit put on the number of semester DH has to pay child support. Your cout order will over ride OR state. From what I have read, you are not in the same state as daughter/x.

If there is a court order with an end date, the support will stop. Period.

And if DH gets it done in the state he lives in, then if the daughter/x want to challenge it, they would need to do it in HIS state or request a change in venue.

I think any judge would be somewhat sympathic to what could be a lifelong bleed on the bank account.

Re: Child Support Woes

Well, it suspended. They retro'd that to the first of January. I should be so happy but now i'm just anxious about when she will restart it between now and Dec, her 21st birthday.

IOBA: We dont have the money to go to court. That'd take a lawyer. Cheaper to just pay it through. OAR 107.108 says it goes til they're 21 if they are attending 1/2 time and making satisfactory grades. That's it.

Re: Child Support Woes

I don't know that you necessarily need a lawyer. If the state of marriage/divorce was OR, then you could drag the ex back. She either has to return or try to plead her case by phone. That won't work out very well if the judge orders a parenting class and visit with family court services. If she is as worthless as it seems, the judge will figure that out pretty quickly.

They are using ridiculous family court procedures against you so I would let them have it.

Re: Child Support Woes

If you can, open up a separate bank account, maybe a savings account, and start putting $300 a month into the account each month. That way if it is reactivated, then it wont' hurt you so much.

I am just thinking about this for a moment....if the CSE office suspended the claim, then they weren't satisfied with the claim. (Cue - the music.) Hhmmm...might take some work for daughter to get it reactivated. I mean, they might want to see something BEFORE they reactivate it instead of just taking her word for it. Maybe?

Re: Child Support Woes

If you can, open up a separate bank account, maybe a savings account, and start putting $300 a month into the account each month. That way if it is reactivated, then it wont' hurt you so much.

I am just thinking about this for a moment....if the CSE office suspended the claim, then they weren't satisfied with the claim. (Cue - the music.) Hhmmm...might take some work for daughter to get it reactivated. I mean, they might want to see something BEFORE they reactivate it instead of just taking her word for it. Maybe?

And there is an end date to this - when she turns 21. Yeah!

All she has to do to restart is send them confirmation from the school that she is attending at least half time w/ satisfactory grades. She has to send us a copy of that too. She has to send us a "release of information" so we can contact the school to check her status. Problem w/ that is Florida doesn't recognize Oregon's forms, so they don't tell us anything.

Re: Child Support Woes

Big smile now....you said she has to provide confirmation of attending school at least part time with satisfactory grades. Well, she cant' get those grades on the first day of school. She'd need to be at least midterm, right?

You know what school she was attending, right? Call them up and ask them what they would require to release the information you. If it's a certain form, then ask for serveral copies to be mailed to you. Once you have them, keep at least one copy for you and send the other copy to the daughter, should she claim to be in school again.

WIll CSE send you a copy of what they have reiceved? You should be able to see it....

Think about opening up a seperate account to put $300 a month into, just in case this comes back. And if it idoesn't, on her 21st bday, you will have a nice little emergency fund built up.

Re: Child Support Woes

I know this thread has been idle for a few days but as a semi-recent college grad I just wanted to share something with you guys. All colleges in the U.S. are required to keep student information private. College personnel can't even release student grades or other information. It's federal law. Most college students are 18+ so they aren't obligated to share information with parents like a K-12 institution would be. Just a heads up.

Re: Child Support Woes

frogfan12 - Thanks for sharing that. In Booners case, the adult child wants additional child support. The condition for additional child support is that the adult child provide proof that she is in college and making passing grades. Two ways to accomplish that - the adult child provide it or she signs a waiver so the school will release the information to Booner & DH & CSE.

The adult child - the student - has all of the power in what information is released and shared. In this case, if she wants child support, then she has to provide the information. Her word alone is not enough to keep the gravy train paying.

In my situation - although I pay the tuition for my kids, I do not see their report cards, nor can I verify their status in school. One kid chooses to share his grades verbally. The other does not. In our case, we set the boundaries - 4 yrs of school/living expenses. That's it. IF they screw it up and fail a class - oh well. Doesn't matter if they tell me or not - there is x amount of money period.

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