but my house looked like this
(my basement especially looked like this -- worse, I'd say)
my desk looked like this
(piles and piles of paper who-knows-what)
my mind looked like this
my marriage looked like this
my friendships looked like this

and here's the scary part:

I didn't realize how bad everything looked. I knew, but I didn't know.

I didn't know how far in disrepair it all was.

Like stripping the fabric from these chairs --

Oh Yikes!! I can't believe how dirty these are!! I've been living this way?!

This way of life was a bar in my cage. (Many bars in my cage...) That I had placed there. On purpose (I guess... according to my therapist. Seriously?! I let my house (etc.) be like this on Purpose?! Why in the world do I do that?!) Apparently I'm supposed to be the one that answers that question.

I still haven't figured out why I let it get so bad... why it went so far.