BREAD SHAMING. This the story of a brave fashion writer who dared speak truth to anti-carbism, the greatest threat to female friendship since the dawn of internalized sexism.

Portrait of a Young Woman Eating Bread / Image: Getty

"Aimee Blaut is astonished. The Stockholm-based editor of The Formula has just handed me half a Balthazar croissant, and in two seconds, I’ve scarfed it down. This doesn’t seem like a big deal, but Blaut’s perfect red lips have formed a shocked “O” shape—the same kind of are-you-kidding-me expression that came with Prabal Guring’s streaker.

'I’ve never seen an American girl eat bread out in the open like that,' coughs Blaut. 'Not a fashion person in New York, anyway… or any of my friends in Miami…'

…Blaut launches into a half-hushed rant: 'You get dirty looks when you eat bread in front of stylish Americans,' she explains.”

It's true: In New York, it is considered quite gauche to consume buttery, flaky French pastries when offered to you by a friend over breakfast. If it were me, I would have snatched that croissant out of my Stockholm-based blogger friend's hand and mushed it up all over her face, greasing her skin with the pastry's buttery crust.

In all seriousness, real friend's don't let friends miss out on delicious bread-related opportunities. Additionally, the only acceptable thing to say when you see another woman eating bread is: "Can I have some?" FURTHERMORE: If bread shaming is truly a big problem in your day-to-day, maybe it's because you're running your life like a Sex and the City parody.