Abuse and Child support.

I was with my EX for nearly 4 years. I was her slave. I did everything she wanted. She abused me mentally emotionally physically and verbally. I cant stress how extreme the abouse was. She would be nice in public In front of her friends and times yell at me in public and she loved hurting me. She is really good at acting she is really good at faking. Even though i got some video on recording. She made something up on video so I wouldn't be able to use the recording. We use to not live together, so I paid child support then we moved in (i paid child support firectly for the baby) and I thought that I didn't need to pay. We both worked, but after living together for 8 months it was to much for me and I finally had the courage to leave. Now I get a bill of 3500 and my passport is being denied i cant leave the country. Even after i left i got things for the baby. When I left the baby wasint with her, her step mom took care of my son, and I asked her that we need to go to court and cancel child support or we will both need to pay togeter. A day later I find out that she took the baby and went back to the shelter. I emotionally cant deal with this. I dojt trust her with the baby. And I definitely dont want to pay her directly as I dont trust her. And I paid child support till now. Now I dont want to help at all and I just want to figure out how I can figure this out in court and hopefully take the baby when I am more settled financially. Can anyone give advice? Its usually the men who abuse in relationships but in here it's the women who was extremely abusive and I dont know if the court will see my side I am afraid of even going to court or to ask her to come with me I will feel she will use this against me somehow.