After months of see-sawing opinion polls and angsty Facebook posts from Great Aunt Thelma, Americans selected their 45th president this week. It was a momentous evening full of surprises, the most immediate of which, at least on my end, concerned a spicy aioli sauce and a close friend with poor self-control.

But it also included one nasty shocker about which no American could be happy: having to stay up until 2 a.m. on a Wednesday. Seriously, Founders, some of us have to take I-76 into Denver each morning, and no constitution should ever be framed without accounting for 8:45 a.m. conference calls (looking at you, Ben Franklin). That said, there is good news here. Because despite our election-season divisions, Americans unite this morning around our sacred civic institution of sleep deprivation, a topic on which I can offer some detailed thoughts.

I was dead the next day. You were, too. This blog post probably has at least one serious typo—and I definitely drooled on the keyboard halfway through—but that’s okay. Because Denver offers gas stations for the body.

I am referring, of course, to the plethora of charming coffee shops that dot our fair city, and if you can dip out of work on a Tuesday to pick the leader of the free world then you can sneak off this week for an impromptu caffeine tour. Here’s a list of the sites to hit:

Crema Coffee House: The ambience alone carries this one, even though the stuff on the menu is super duper yummy. Artsy décor, friendly staff, and fun food earn a place on the list.

Little Owl Coffee: Has the phrase “little owl” in the name. Seriously, what more do you need? Is also crazy elegant and sophisticated and such, and has an espresso machine that sounds like a spaceship taking off. Do this for yourself.

Black Eye Coffee: Just yum. Just yum everywhere. Going to this café is a legit experience, and its logo has two guys punching each other in the face. Why wouldn’t you do this?

Denver Bicycle Café: Literally exactly what you think it is. But also it has beer. Which is probably a good idea.

Don’t want to zip around Denver in your dazed state? Too tired (let’s be honest: hungover)? That’s fine, too. Because Metro Taxi Denver is, as always, here for you. And so am I. But only in spirit, because if I don’t get some rest soon there will be no more Michelle. And how would you go on?

Until next week…

M

Michelle writes weekly about goings-on in Denver. Michelle is all of us. Or none of us. It’s complicated.