My Family Is So Obnoxious

I really, really, hate my family. They are so obnoxious it's not funny. Both my siblings are in college, which is cool except it leaves me alone with my parents, who are super awkward and ridiculous. My brother actually visits occasionally because he is super homesick, but all he does is complain and make things even weirder by combing through my friends and picking which ones would make good girlfriends. Then he goes and blabbers to my parents about something private, like if I like a girl, then they yell at me that I'm not supposed to be dating until I'm older. He's also the most lazy SOB I've ever met. He never does anything around the house and has run through 2 roommates in college because he is too lazy to actually try and make their agreements work. MY sister is pretty cool, but I only see her 2-3 times a year and she can get super annoying sometimes, but at least she doesn't break the brother code and go telling my parents about everything. My dad's weird. He can be kinda fun to hangout with if you're doing something he likes and hes in a good mood, but other than that it's impossible to talk to him and he does a ton of little things that are really annoying. He can't pick up hints or read facial expressions, and has the weirdest sense of humor ever. If you don't laugh at his jokes he takes it way too personally and then goes and mopes around for the rest of the day. The worst part is he's about to retire, and if he's home full time I think I'm going to loose my frickin mind. My mom is just a biotch. Sorry for the language, but there's nothing really better to explain her. She's always riding me to get a job even though it's impossible when I'm a freshman in highschool (yes, I lied about my age). I try to volunteer, but with two sports and school it's impossible to find time to do anything. This makes her even more angry when I try to explain this, yet somehow she doesn't understand that she's the one that wants me to do two sports in the same season. My family is just so f-ing annoying, yet all my friends somehow think that they are great. They really do not get the point that they don't live with them but whatever. That's the other thing. My parents like to tell personal stories about me to their business friends. People that I don't even KNOW now have a bunch of personal information running through their heads. It's at the point where I introduce myself to people at one of my parents parties, the response will be like "oh yeah, the kid that slipped in dog pee". There's just something wrong with that. My family is just so incoherent, I really don't understand how I'm related to them. I am honestly the most normal person in my family.

My family is so freaking stressful. I tried so hard to be nice and this little angel child I'm tired. Like for example I have this holy holy cousin every time she sees me it Praise the lord this and blah blah shut that ish up and be normal approach me like hi how are you. Not God...

I cant help it, I feel like I don't belong at all.
My parents split up when I was around 7-9, and then my dad got a girlfriend who hates me with passion and has an older daughter and son who are complete ******** (excuse my language). They steal, swear and fight and are...