Alert the media: Someone doesn't like Michelle Obama for completely non-political reasons again. This time, it's not her bold choice to add bangs (but they, like, cover her whole forehead!) that's the focus of criticism, or the fact that her arms are ridiculously defined (an aspect of her physique that apparently makes some people feel so guilty about not going to the gym they react with rage). This time, it's just everything about the way she presents herself every day of the year. Famed fashion designer Vivienne Westwood thinks the FLOTUS has "dreadful" style. Naturally, we have a problem with that.
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Westwood, while a respected name in the fashion industry for her innovative designs that marry English punk and haute couture, is clearly missing the point of Mrs. Obama's wardrobe. "Don't talk about her. It's dreadful what she wears," Westwood told the Times when asked how she liked the First Lady. Of course, a comment like this prompts the immediate question: "On what grounds, Miss Westwood?" Obama has the style and grace of a classic old Hollywood star. She's conservative enough to keep her husband's critics at bay, yet flashy enough to grab our attention, even when she's standing alongside the likes of Beyoncé at the POTUS's second inauguration. What could Westwood possibly object to?
"She's a very nice looking lady, but it's a nonstarter regarding clothes that suit her. Jackie Kennedy was a different matter altogether. It just has to suit her and be something that makes a human being more glamorous. That's what fashion is there for. It's there to help, not just to make you look more conservative," she said.
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Well, you're entitled to your opinion, Miss Westwood, but for a First Lady, Obama isn't all that conservative. When was the last time a first lady's ball gown upset Iran so much they leapt to Photoshop to cover her up? And if Westwood is right and we're all just lemmings for loving everything Obama drapes over her impossibly sculpted arms, at the end of the day, she's still the right-hand woman to the leader of the free world, so something tells me she can survive a few fashion world jibes.
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: Matt Sayles/AP Photo]
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We know, we know. All the details of Lucasfilm’s sale to Disney, and the resulting news that new Star Wars movies will be produced, have been scrutinized with the fine tooth comb of Rebel Alliance battle strategists poring over Death Star schematics. What new intel could there possibly be to learn?
Well, an in-depth new feature in Bloomberg’s BusinessWeek magazine shows that, actually, there is still quite a lot to be gleaned about the mega-merger, what prompted George Lucas to hand over the reins to his multi-billion dollar company, and how exactly J.J. Abrams was convinced to make the jump to lightspeed. Here are seven things we learned from reporter Devin Leonard’s fascinating piece:
1. George Lucas May Really Be a Jedi MasterAt the May 2011 opening of the Star Wars: The Adventure Continues attraction at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida, Disney CEO Bob Iger and former Lucasfilm chairman Lucas engaged in a duel with plastic lightsabers. Iger quickly found himself outmatched. “[George] just has this way of carrying that light saber,” Iger recalls. “He was more adept at using it than me.”
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2. Lucasfilm’s Official Database of Star Wars Lore Is Called the "Holocron"Now diehard fans of the saga already know about the Holocron, a database named after a crystalline Jedi/Sith data storage device that keeps track of over 17,000 Star Wars character, over 2,000 planets, and some 30,000+ years of Galaxy Far, Far Away History. What they might not know, given the ubiquity in Star Wars fandom of Wookieepedia, is just how extensive Lucasfilm’s official Holocron is. Need to know exactly with whom Yoda visited during his 22 years of exile on Dagobah? The Holocron (curated by the affable Leland Chee, whose official title is “Keeper of the Holocron.”) can tell you!
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3. George Lucas says that Lucasfilm had been deep in talks with Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford, even well before the Disney deal was finalized“We had already signed Mark and Carrie and Harrison — or we were pretty much in final stages of negotiation,” Lucas said. “So I called them to say, ‘Look, this is what’s going on.’ Maybe I’m not supposed to say that. I think they want to announce that with some big whoop-de-do, but we were negotiating with them…I won’t say whether the negotiations were successful or not.” For a major casting announcement like that, Lucasfilm’s history is never to let any one media outlet announce it for them. They would insist upon announcing news that major directly through StarWars.com.
4. J.J. Abrams Did Not Lie When He Said in November 2012 He Wasn’t Involved With Episode VIIFans were happy when he officially signed on to the project in January, but there definitely was a little bit of bickering about why exactly he was so adamant just two months before that he would not be involved. Well, he wasn’t lying to us, if that makes you feel any better. Abrams did not want to helm Episode VII as he thought it would be too similar to his work on the Star Trek franchise. But Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy stopped by Bad Robot’s Santa Monica production headquarters for a two-hour meeting in late December, and that two-hour meeting caused him to change his mind.
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5. Disney’s Purchase of Lucasfilm was First Discussed at a Disney Theme ParkSpecifically, the Brown Derby restaurant at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in May 2011, when Lucas was on-hand to open Star Tours: The Adventures Continue. Disneyphiles can tell you that the Brown Derby is a faithful recreation of the original Hollywood landmark (immortalized in a classic I Love Lucy episode in which Lucy Ricardo stalks William Holden), the kind of place where lots of wheeling and dealing would happen. What better venue for an entertainment merger as significant as the Disney-Lucasfilm deal to take place than at its facsimile?
6. Steve Jobs Let Disney CEO Bob Iger Know How He Really Felt About Some of the Studios’ MoviesThe Apple co-founder was the largest shareholder on the Disney board of directors. Maybe that’s why he felt he could call Iger to say, “Hey, Bob, I saw the movie you just released last night, and it sucked.” (No specific titles were mentioned in the article, but we choose to believe he was referring to The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.) Despite that criticism, Iger says that his relationship with Jobs was “additive rather than the other way around.”
7. That Star Wars Live Action Series Could Still HappenThough he’s not quoted directly in the BusinessWeek article about this, Iger has apparently confirmed that discussions about the long-rumored live-action Star Wars TV series, tentatively titled Star Wars: Underworld, are still taking place.
You see, Padawan readers, much to learn there still is.
Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt
[Photo Credit: Todd Anderson/AP Photo/Disney]
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The new Star Wars VII trailer is here! ... if Star Wars VII was made in an alternate French universe in which the story of the family dynamics between Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia played out tragically, much like director Michael Haneke's devastating Best Foreign Film Oscar winner Amour, at least.
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Anyone who is under the wildly misinformed impression that the French have no sense of humor clearly haven't been paying attention. While the country's biggest internationally successful film this year is Amour, the dour tale of the complicated love between two elderly people creeping towards the inevitable and unavoidable conclusion of life, the country's top film awards (The Césars) took a moment to celebrate their lighter side with a mash-up of Haneke's acclaimed film and the future Star Wars sequel.
From glimpses of Leia after her beauty has waned, to Luke struggling with the task of caring for his ailing father Vader, who's so far gone he thinks his little yorkie is Chewbacca, the clip fully embeds the Star Wars universe into the brutally realistic universe of Amour to hilarious effect. (No, seriously, it's okay to laugh. We promise.)
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One thing's for sure, Haneke's not cut out for J.J. Abrams' Star Wars VII directing gig, and not just because his light sabers are gentle enough to touch one's hand to the laser beam.
Watch the parody below:
Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler
[Photo Credit: YouTube]
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Rumors spread like Imperial probe droids across the tundras of Hoth on Thursday when news leaked that J.J. Abrams would take on the much-coveted job of directing Star Wars: Episode VII. Slated for an unspecified date in 2015, Abrams — who will soon release his sci-fi sequel Star Trek Into the Darkness — will helm the picture under Trek and LOST producer Bryan Burk and Spielberg-partner-in-crime Kathleen Kennedy.
This news follows months of speculation, with dozens of names reportedly up for the job (including Argo director Ben Affleck). According to an official press release, there wasn't much competition when Abrams became a contender. In response to the news, George Lucas says, "I’ve consistently been impressed with J.J. as a filmmaker and storyteller. He’s an ideal choice to direct the new Star Wars film and the legacy couldn’t be in better hands.”
Kennedy added to Lucas' praise. “It’s very exciting to have J.J. aboard leading the charge as we set off to make a new Star Wars movie,” says the Jurassic Park and E.T. producer. “J.J. is the perfect director to helm this. Beyond having such great instincts as a filmmaker, he has an intuitive understanding of this franchise. He understands the essence of the Star Wars experience, and will bring that talent to create an unforgettable motion picture.”
Also included in the press release is the announcement that Empire Strikes Back writer Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg, rumored to be working on their own Star Wars spin-off movies, will consult on the film. Hints of a connected universe a la Marvel?
For Abrams, the announcement is a dream come true. He caps off the official announcement with a heartwarming quip. “I may be even more grateful to George Lucas now than I was as a kid."
Let's hope the next generation responds with as much love for Abrams as the director does for the original franchise mastermind when Episode 7 arrives in 2015.
[Photo Credit: WENN]
Follow Matt Patches on Twitter @misterpatches
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Aging rock and roll musicians have long been the butt of many a joke. (Just ask Steven Tyler, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, and every other rocker you had on your bedroom wall.) So during Sunday night's 35th Annual Kennedy Center Honors — which saluted legends Led Zeppelin, made up of keyboardist/bassist John Paul Jones, guitarist Jimmy Page, and singer Robert Plant — President Barack Obama was more than prepared to rag on the musicians and their rock and roll lifestyles. Obama even included the term "panties" in one of his playful jabs.
But Led Zeppelin wasn't the only target of the star-studded evening. Below, see some of the best jokes from the 2012 Kennedy Center Honors:
Target One: Led Zeppelin
President Barack Obama: "Of course [Led Zeppelin] also redefined the rock and roll lifestyle. We do not have video of this, but there were some hotel rooms trashed and mayhem all around. So, it's fitting that we're doing this in a room with windows about three inches thick and [with] secret service all around ... Guys just settle down. These panties are valuable."
Jack Black: "Nine mind-blowing records in a row. Even Beethoven would have crap his pantaloons."
Target Two: President Obama
Ray Romano: "You want to win the world series. Do you quit? You're down one game nothing. No. You keep going. Do you quit when you're down one nothing in debates? No, no, you keep going. You become the president."
Target Three: David Letterman
Jimmy Kimmel: "For David Letterman, this is also, unquestionably, the single worst night of his life. That medal hanging around his neck — there's a 40 percent change he'll hang himself with it."
Tina Fey: "Was he a brilliant, subtle, passive aggressive, parody of a talk show host? Or, just some midwestern goon who was a little bit off? Time has proven that there's just really no way of knowing."
Follow Lindsey on Twitter @LDiMat.
[Photo Credit: Manuel Balce Ceneta/AP Photo]
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With each outing in his evolving filmmaking career actor-turned-director Ben Affleck has amped up the scope. Gone Baby Gone was a character drama woven into a hard-boiled mystery. The Town saw Affleck dabble in action pulling off bank heists many compared to the expertise of Heat. In Argo the director pulls off his most daring effort melding one part caper comedy and two parts edge-of-your-seat political thriller into an exhilarating theatrical experience.
At the height of the Iranian Revolution in 1979 anti-Shah militants stormed the U.S. embassy and captured 52 American hostages. Six managed to escape the raid finding refuge in the Canadian ambassador's home. Within hours the militants began a search for the missing Americans sifting through shredded paperwork for even the smallest bit of evidence. Under pressure by the ticking clock the CIA worked quickly to formulate a plan to covertly rescue the six embassy workers. Despite a lengthy list of possibilities only Tony Mendez (Affleck) had a plan just enticing enough to unsuspecting Iranian officials to work: the CIA would fake a Hollywood movie shoot.
There's nothing in Argo or Affleck's portrayal of Mendez that would tell you the technical operations officer has the imagination to conjure his master plan — Affleck perhaps to differentiate himself from the past plays his character with so much restraint he looks dead in the eyes — but when the Hollywood hijinks swing into full motion so does Argo. Mendez hooks up with Planet of the Apes makeup artist John Chambers (John Goodman) and producer Lester Siegel (Alan Arkin) to convince all of Hollywood that their sci-fi blockbuster "Argo " is readying for production. With enough promotional material concept art and press coverage Mendez and his team can convince the Iranian government they're a legit operation. A location scout in Tehran will be their method of extracting the bunkered down escapees.
Without an interesting lead to draw us in Affleck lets his eclectic ensemble do the heavy lifting. For the most part it works. Argo is basically two movies — Goodman and Arkin lead the Ocean's 11-esque half and Affleck takes the reigns when its time to get the six — another who's who of character actors including Tate Donovan Clea Duvall Scoot McNairy and Rory Cochrane — through the terrifying security of the Iranian airport. Arkin steals the show as a fast talking Hollywood type complete with year-winning catchphrase ("ArGo f**k yourself!) while McNairy adds a little more humanity to the spy mission when his character butts heads with Mendez. The split lessens the impact of each section but the tension in the escape is so high so taut that there's never a moment to check out.
Reality is on Affleck's side his camera floating through crowds of protestors and the streets of Tehran — a warscape where anything can happen. Each angle he chooses heightens the terror which starts to close in on the covert escape as they drift further and further from their homebase. Argo is a complete package with the '70s production design knowing when to play goofy (the fake movie's wild sci-fi designs) and when to remind us that problems took eight more steps to fix then they do today. Alexandre Desplat's score finds balance in haunting melodies and energetic pulses.
Part of Argo's charm is just how unreal the entire operation really was. To see the men and women involved go through with a plan they know could result in death. It's a suspenseful adventure and while there's not much in the way of character to cling to the visceral experience tends to be enough.
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Today, June 1, is very special for several reasons. Not only is it Friday (yay), but it also marks what would have been Marilyn Monroe's 86th birthday. It's hard to believe it's been nearly 50 years since her tragic death, yet her iconic memory still manages to captivate the world even to this day. In fact, you could even say we as a society are Marilyn-crazed with all the major motion pictures and TV shows created in her honor. Even Hollywood stars can't get enough of this glamorous gal.
Early this morning, Lady Gaga took to Twitter and wished the late actress a happy birthday by styling herself up with Monroe's signature big blonde curls and posting the image for all to see. "#HappyBirthdayMarilyn They'll never take our blonde hair and lipstick," Gaga tweeted along with the black and white pic.
And while imitation is certainly the highest form of flattery, Gaga is by far not the first celeb to don Monroe's iconic '50s look. Everyone from Michelle Williams to Jennifer Lopez have replicated her in pictures, magazine covers, TV shows, and films. Marilyn may be physically gone, but these stars have proven that her memory will live on forever.
Michelle Williams in My Week With Marilyn
Sure, anyone can put on a blonde wig and red lipstick, but Williams' remarkable portrayal of Marilyn in this 2011 box office hit proved to be almost as magnificent as the late star herself. Williams' performance was even nominated for an Oscar.
Katharine McPhee and Megan Hilty in Smash
Between the outstanding musical numbers and these incredible outfits, fans all across America are begging for Bombshell to become a real-life musical on Broadway. And these girls, especially Hilty, manage to pull of Marilyn's sultry look to a T. Is there any wonder why President Kennedy wasn't able to resist these feminine charms?
Next: Marilyn would find this very aMUSEing.Kate Upton On the Cover of Muse
This 19-year-old model chose to grace the cover of Muse magazine this year by paying homage to the Hollywood legend's sexy look. Wearing nothing more than a white bed sheet, Upton pulls off the blonde wig to perfection, which was sure to make all men swoon.
Rihanna on the Cover of Vogue UK
This singer looked fierce while posing for the November 2011 cover of Vogue UK. Decked in a couture strapless gown and blonde wig, Rihanna proves that she has what it takes to be a blonde bombshell like Marilyn. Cheers to that!
Angelina Jolie in Life or Something Like It
The famous Hollywood star appeared in the 2002 romantic comedy Life or Something Like it, looking awfully similar to Ms. Monroe (notice the sexy finger bite). Has Brad Pitt seen this film?
Next: Monroe Meets Material Girl.Madonna in Dick Tracy
This classic film showcased not only Madonna's amazing singing voice, but also her ability to impersonate Marilyn is almost every way. You have to admit, they certainly seem to strike a similar pose.
Jennifer Lopez on the George Lopez Show
J. Lo and all her curvy-glory stopped by the set to wish the host and his television show a very happy birthday with her best Marilyn Monroe impression. Lopez was probably feeling pretty good about himself during this little performance. Lucky guy!
Lindsay Lohan on the Cover of New York Magazine
This picture pretty much speaks for itself.
[Image Credits: Muse, Vogue UK, NY Mag]
Follow Kelly on Twitter @KellyBean0415
Lady Gaga As Marilyn Monroe
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In a post-Harry Potter Avatar and Lord of the Rings world the descriptors "sci-fi" and "fantasy" conjure up particular imagery and ideas. The Hunger Games abolishes those expectations rooting its alternate universe in a familiar reality filled with human characters tangible environments and terrifying consequences. Computer graphics are a rarity in writer/director Gary Ross' slow-burn thriller wisely setting aside effects and big action to focus on star Jennifer Lawrence's character's emotional struggle as she embarks on the unthinkable: a 24-person death match on display for the entire nation's viewing pleasure. The final product is a gut-wrenching mature young adult fiction adaptation diffused by occasional meandering but with enough unexpected choices to keep audiences on their toes.
Panem a reconfigured post-apocalyptic America is sectioned off into 12 unique districts and ruled under an iron thumb by the oppressive leaders of The Capitol. To keep the districts producing their specific resources and prevent them from rebelling The Capitol created The Hunger Games an annual competition pitting two 18-or-under "tributes" from each district in a battle to the death. During the ritual tribute "Reaping " teenage Katniss (Lawrence) watches as her 12-year-old sister Primrose is chosen for battle—and quickly jumps to her aid becoming the first District 12 citizen to volunteer for the games. Joined by Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) a meek baker's son and the second tribute Effie the resident designer and Haymitch a former Hunger Games winner-turned-alcoholic-turned-mentor Katniss rides off to The Capitol to train and compete in the 74th Annual Hunger Games.
The greatest triumph of The Hunger Games is Ross' rich realization of the book's many worlds: District 12 is painted as a reminiscent Southern mining town haunting and vibrant; The Capitol is a utopian metropolis obsessed with design and flair; and The Hunger Games battleground is a sprawling forest peppered with Truman Show-esque additions that remind you it's all being controlled by overseers. The small-scale production value adds to the character-first approach and even when the story segues to larger arenas like a tickertape parade in The Capitol's grand Avenue of Tributes hall it's all about Katniss.
For fans the script hits every beat a nearly note-for-note interpretation of author Suzanne Collins' original novel—but those unfamiliar shouldn't worry about missing anything. Ross knows his way around a sharp screenplay (he's the writer of Big Pleasantville and Seabiscuit) and he's comfortable dropping us right into the action. His characters are equally as colorful as Panem Harrelson sticking out as the former tribute enlivened by the chance to coach winners. He's funny he's discreet he's shaded—a quality all the cast members share. As a director Ross employs a distinct often-grating perspective. His shaky cam style emphasizes the reality of the story but in fight scenarios—and even simple establishing shots of District 12's goings-on—the details are lost in motion blur.
But the dread of the scenario is enough to make Hunger Games an engrossing blockbuster. The lead-up to the actual competition is an uncomfortable and biting satire of reality television sports and everything that commands an audience in modern society. Katniss' brooding friend Gale tells her before she departs "What if nobody watched?" speculating that carnage might end if people could turn away. Unfortunately they can't—forcing Katniss and Peeta to become "stars" of the Hunger Games. The duo are pushed to gussy themselves up put on a show and play up their romance for better ratings. Lawrence channels her reserved Academy Award-nominated Winter's Bone character to inhabit Katniss' frustration with the system. She's great at hunting but she doesn't want to kill. She's compassionate and considerate but has no interest in bowing down to the system. She's a leader but she knows full well she's playing The Capitol's game. Even with 23 other contestants vying for the top spot—like American Idol with machetes complete with Ryan Seacrest stand-in Caesar Flickerman (the dazzling Stanley Tucci)—Katniss' greatest hurdle is internal. A brave move for a movie aimed at a young audience.
By the time the actual Games roll around (the movie clocks in at two and a half hours) there's a need to amp up the pace that never comes and The Hunger Games loses footing. Katniss' goal is to avoid the action hiding in trees and caves waiting patiently for the other tributes to off themselves—but the tactic isn't all that thrilling for those watching. Luckily Lawrence Hutcherson and the ensemble of young actors still deliver when they cross paths and particular beats pack all the punch an all-out deathwatch should. PG-13 be damned the film doesn't skimp on the bloodshed even when it comes to killing off children. The Hunger Games bites off a lot for the first film of a franchise and does so bravely and boldly. It may not make it to the end alive but it doesn't go down without a fight.
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Relativity Media’s Immortals tops the chart with a bigger-than-expected $32 million. Featuring an international cast including Henry Cavill and Luke Evans, Immortals in 3-D is an action fantasy adventure set in a mythological world. Mickey Rourke also stars in the latest film from visionary director Tarsem Singh and the producers of 300. 70% of locations played the film in 3 and 66% of the gross was on 3D screens with 34% on 2D.
Adam Sandler takes second place with $26 million in Sony’s Jack and Jill which features Sandler playing Jack Sadelstein and his identical twin sister Jill in this holiday-themed comedy. On her dreaded annual Thanksgiving visit, the annoying Jill turns Jack’s and his family’s tranquil life upside-down in the PG-rated film that also stars Katie Holmes as Jack’s wife. The weekend gross was on the high end of expectations with support from a 52% female audience.
Paramount/Dreamworks’ Puss in Boots which continues its amazing run at the box office completes its third weekend in third place with another $25.5 million. The fall season hit has now earned $108.8 million in North America to date.
Universal’s Tower Heist starring Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller realized a 45% drop in its second weekend with a heist of $13.2 million in box office loot. Despite having debuted on the lower end of expectations last weekend, the film has held up solidly in the mid-week derby and crosses the $43 million threshold by Sunday night.
Warner Bros. impressive period drama J. Edgar released in 1,910 theaters made an impression in the top five with around $11.5 million. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio as FBI head J. Edgar Hoover, the Clint Eastwood directed film is already generating Oscar buzz and critical acclaim. Featuring an incredible cast of actors playing true-life characters including Richard Nixon, Bobby Kennedy, Dwight Eisenhower and Franklin Roosevelt, J. Edgar will remain a fixture in the top 10 throughout the holiday season.
Weekend Box-Office
Top Movies for Weekend of November 11, 2011 (Estimates)
Movie Gross Total to Date
1. Immortals (R) $32.0M $32.0M 2. Jack and Jill (PG) $26.0M $26.0M 3. Puss in Boots (PG) $25.5M $108.8M 4. Tower Heist (PG13) $13.2M $43.9M 5. J. Edgar (R) $11.5M $11.6M

The story of the most dominant racehorse of all time does not easily fit into the standard inspirational sports flick mold. Such films typically require its protagonists to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles be they competitive (Hoosiers) personal (The Natural) societal (Ali) or some combination of all three (Remember the Titans). But by all accounts the greatest challenges to Secretariat capturing of the 1973 Triple Crown were not rival horses — indeed Secretariat had no true rival — but a pair of slow starts and an abscess. And abscesses — apologies to dermatologists — simply aren’t all that effective as dramatic devices.
Lacking most of the vital ingredients of the traditional underdog movie formula Disney’s Secretariat is forced to synthesize them. Its screenplay written by Mike Rich and based rather loosely on the book Secretariat: The Making of a Champion by William Nack adopts a conventional save-the-farm framework: When her parents pass away within months of each other Denver housewife Penny Tweedy (Diane Lane) is advised to sell off her family’s Virginia-based Meadow Stables a beautiful but unprofitable horse-breeding enterprise in order to pay the onerous inheritance taxes levied by the state. But Penny her deceased father’s hackneyed horse-inspired counsel fresh in her mind (“You’ve got to run your own race ” etc. etc.) is loath to depart with such a cherished heirloom. So she concocts a scheme just idiotic enough to work betting the farm — literally — that her new horse Big Red in whom she has an almost Messianic faith will win the Kentucky Derby Preakness and Belmont races in succession.
Of course Big Red under the stage name Secretariat goes on to do just that but only after the film subjects us to nearly two hours of manufactured melodrama. Lane grasping all-too conspicuously for awards consideration treats every line as if it were the St. Crispin’s Day speech. Her character Penny exhibits a hair-trigger sensitivity to the sounds of skeptics and naysayers bursting forth with a polite rebuke and a stern sermon for anyone who dares doubt her crusade from the trash-talking owner of a rival horse to her annoyingly pragmatic husband (Dylan Walsh).
Lane isn’t alone in her grandiosity. The entire production reeks of it as director Randall Wallace lines the story with fetid chunks of overwrought Oscar bait like so many droppings in an untended stable even using Old Testament quotations and gospel music to endow Penny’s quest with biblical significance. John Malkovich is kind enough to inject some mirth into the heavy-handed proceedings hamming it up as Secretariat’s trainer Lucien Laurin a French-Canadian curmudgeon with an odd sartorial palette. It’s not enough however to alleviate the discomfort of witnessing the film's quasi-Sambo depiction of Secretariat’s famed groom Eddie Sweat (Nelsan Ellis) which reaches its cringeworthy zenith when Sweat runs out to the track on the eve of the Belmont Stakes and exclaims to no one in particular that “Big Red done eat his breakfast this mornin’!!!” Bagger Vance would be proud. Whether or not Ellis’ portrayal of Sweat’s cadence and mannerisms is accurate (and for all I know it may well be) the character is too thinly drawn to register as anything more than an amiable simple-minded servant.
Animal lovers will be happy to know that the horses in Secretariat come off looking far better than their human counterparts and not just because they’re alloted the best dialogue. In the training and racing sequences Wallace effectively conveys the strength and majesty of the fearsome animals drawing us into the action and creating a strong element of suspense even though the final result is a fait accompli. It's too bad the rest of the film never makes it out of the gate.