We just got a new bottle of Heinz ketchup that has some funky gasket to keep down the spray. You have to squeeze like crazy so it's harder for my girl to do on her own now, and there are still drips on the cap that have to be cleaned off. boo hiss

I once babysat for two kids whose mother thought they would enjoy making candles. I melted her enormous vat of red wax on the stove, then poured it into the foil tray she had left for us, oblivious to the fact that one of the kids had earlier attempted to turn it into a hat and had cut through the middle of it, then given up and put it back.

It broke, of course, and wax went absolutely everywhere - it covered the entire stove surface and dripped down into the burners and onto the floor, where it instantly hardened. I spent the rest of the day chipping it off with a butter knife.

I love no mess caps, they are great!! normal bottles if you squeeze them it just slurps of the end, but with no mess ones you have to really squeeze until the pressure overcomes that little valve and it shoots out in a jet at high speed.

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

Have Dr. Grumpy delivered automatically to your Kindle for only 99 cents a month! Sign up here!

Dr. Grumpy is for hire! Need an article written (humorous, medical, or otherwise) or want to commission a genuine Grumpy piece for your newspaper/magazine/toilet paper roll? Contact me to discuss subjects. You can reach me at the email address below, or through my Linked-In profile.

Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.