Chris Moyles Strangled By His Own Voice

Infamous Gobshite "Comedian" Cwis Moyles was found dead in an East London crack den on Tuesday night. Initial reports believe that he had severely overdosed on experimental drugs, by taking copious amounts of "J!---&%", and needle marks in his groin suggested that he was a user of new street drug Burp (Dolphin Urine mixed with a Sage & Onion Vinaigrette).

Moylophobes on the Internet are suggesting that a Drugs Overdose is really covering up the fact that his voicebox couldn't take anymore of his hilarious ironic put-downs and japery any more. It therefore decided to shutdown, and it took Moyles with it.

Listeners who tuned in at 7am on Wednesday were relieved to hear silence on Radio 1, until it was rudely interrupted by the voices of Keith "Chegger" Chegwin and Vernon Kay pretending to be a strange mechanical biscuit, and then humming hit musical numbers in a 12 hour marathon.

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