Dear Care Manager: After my last visit with my 78-year-old mother, I feel very confused and reluctant to leave her alone. She resides in an attractive condo at a 55 + community five hours away from me. Mother was anxious, confused and forgetful about past events. Before I left, she was frantically trying to find a lost coat and wallet.Fortunately we have a devoted companion from a home health agency coming two days per week, who makes meals, helps her manage the household and offers reassurance. Since she had a seizure 25 years ago, her medications include Phenobarbital, anti-hypertension pills and an anti-depressant. Mother is able to do her own personal care, drives to the local YMCA to swim two days a week and stops at the local liquor store on a regular basis. The companion reported she drank a fifth of whiskey in two days. Mother’s second husband died two years ago and she laments out loud “why did he leave me?”Both of her husbands had “drinking problems”.

Mother sees only one neighbor and is alone much of the time. Last week when I phoned, her speech was slurred and she did not make much sense, but denied she was drinking in the early afternoon. She does not want to leave her home. My brother, who lives an hour away, visits every two weeks, but remains perplexed about how to proceed.

Distance Worrier

Dear Distance Worrier:When did she last visit her primary physician? Please contact her physician and relate the above information. She could experience dangerous side effects by taking those medications with alcohol. Her fall and injury risk is very high.

Consider hiring a geriatric care manager to perform a comprehensive assessment of the environment and her overall condition. Options may include short term placement in a treatment center for detox, with placement in a personal care home upon discharge.Immediately you may need to increase the home health companion’s hours to monitor her daily. Arrange for other transportation and activities so she does not need to drive. She is a threat to herself and others if she is driving under the influence.

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Your mother may need psychiatric counseling and a support group to work through the grief process of losing her spouse and to overcome alcohol dependence. Long term serious heart, liver and kidney disease may result without proper treatment.Most seniors have good results, but the condition must be accepted and managed. Support of family and friends remains paramount.

-- Send your questions to Karen Wolfrom at kwolfrom.surrey@thehickman.org with “Dear Care Manager” in the subject line. Karen Wolfrom, MSA, RNC, CMC, RHU, is a member of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers and the director of Surrey at The Hickman in West Chester. Her column will appear once a month in the Daily Local News.