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theology

NutureShock Notes

2016-05-22

NutureShock - New Thinking About Children is the tagline. Unfortunately, most of it doesn't seem to new so much as a validation of the Old Fashioned Parenting paradigm. It's interesting to see the Ancient Recieved Wisdom being trotted out again, but ultimately, unsatisfying. These things are pretty "duh" to those who haven't bought into the attachment parenting / permissive parenting view of the world. It is extensively sourced though, so that is rather nice.

Things now scientifically observed:

being told you're smart is worse than hardworking

sleep is important - more important than we used to think. This one is being put into Seattle P.S. policy.

Talking about race frankly is better than covering it up.

Lying is typical; but if the parents react in ways that increase conflict, it gets worse. Conflict avoidance is a key aspect of children.

Same for teens. Here consistent firm rules and honest discussion matter a great deal. Arguing and confrontation are better than not; again, honesty and authenticity plays a huge part.

Gifted kindergarters / early elementary school children is pointless; IQ fluctuates a great deal. The school, at a minimum, should ensure that the bar is maintained year over year, and should be ok with adding kids into the program that newly meet the bar.

Siblings fight as normative interaction. They largely learn this from their friends.

Structured play should be oriented towards long-focus tasks. See "Tools for the Mind" curriculum. Quote: "being disciplined is more important than being smart". 3x better in one study of children.