Thursday, September 9, 2010

Time... again, it's so strange because I feel like how could it already be two years, but at the same time I feel like how is it NOT ten years? I still think that our minds have a way of protecting us from grief and time is a way to ease the pain? It still hurts, I know that it will always hurt. As soon as the first autumn breeze came through my windows, I felt Dresden. It's his time, I can sense him more, even smell him and to me there is nothing more beautiful than that. Today, we will pick the apples from Dresden's tree and then Gwen, Delaney and I will make Dresden's special apple birthday cake and talk about him, sings songs to him (Gwen made a song for her brother a while ago.. she likes to sing it to Delaney.. "the heart of looove, go to sleep go to sleep, the heart of looove") Shaun will come home early, and we will sing to our baby and eat his cake.. it won't be all fun and laugher like it should, but it is his day, and we will celebrate his life, however short it was. Yesterday my nephew said that he wished Dresden was still here, I told him that I did too.. and then he said I wish Dresden AND Delaney were both here together! He's only 7 years old, and already so intuitive.. I think kids know so much more about life and death than we do as adults, I feel so blessed to have family and friends who aren't afraid to mention Dredsen's name, and I know they will never forget. Happy Birthday to my sweet boy, I love you and miss you all the time.