Hipster Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

This will be the first Valentine’s Day I will have someone to share with in over eight years. Because I used to date douchebags, our courtship was typically as long as a cat’s pregnancy and Valentine’s Day never fell within that time. I’ve never gotten too keyed up about Valentine’s Day, so it’s not like I’m going to expect f’ing roses and shit. The idea that we have to be any more appreciative on one day over all others is silly to me. What if you’re appreciative of your significant other every day? Do you have a greeting card for that shit? Regardless it’s a holiday and it’s not going anywhere and I’m writing about it because I like excuses to make hipster gift guides.

So if you still wondering what to get your hipster sweetie for V-Day, check out these gift ideas below:

When you don’t know how to say it, say the word “fucking”. Always a good way to let your significant other know that you care. Urban Outfitters $39

And when you still don’t know how to say it, but at least have good taste in film. The ladies always love an Alvy Singer. Etsy $20

Every woman loves to have her tan-less ass cheeks accentuated, so why not give her the gift of Prince chaps? American Apparel $22

A duvet cover featuring the title of quite possibly the best song ever written. Whomever thought David Byrne was a romantic?Urban Outfitters $89

To get your bonin’ on, Leonard Cohen’s new album, Old Ideas. Amazon $10.99

For when either one of you need, er, stimulation in the sack. Amazon $14.99