The Gift of Giving

The Gift of Giving

By Alexander Lowë5
September 2014

04th of September marked the
fourth anniversary of the first Christchurch earthquake. We
remembered the huge human toll of the disaster and
subsequent aftershocks, individual tragedies, destruction of
iconic buildings and continuous hardships of the survivors.
But it was not all destruction, loss and misery that
came out of the tragedy. Openly gay student Sam Johnson
created the Student Volunteer Army that came to the rescue
of residents in the earthquake stricken city, with over
13,000 volunteers joining forces for the massive clean-up.
The project was so successful, that Sam Johnson was invited
to Japan to set up student Army there after 2012 tsunami and
later toured the world sharing his experience.
Volunteering brings us closer together, gives us purpose
and hope. I think it was no coincidence that youth suicides
that NZ is so infamous for had dropped significantly in
Christchurch after the tragedy. Among all the hardship,
young people united in their resilience, lifted up their
spirits by finding inner strength and supporting each other,
realising that they can make a change and have the power to
turn things around to the better. Volunteering can be an
incredible gift both for the giver and the taker, letting us
reach our potential and also make a difference in the world.
I have been myself volunteering for the Auckland Museum and
for the Tiritiri Matangi bird’s sanctuary. This gave me
opportunity to get out of my shell, engage with other
people, learn new information and acquire new skills. In
return, I gave my queer eye for these organizations by
drafting LGBT themed guided tours. Amazing LGBT volunteers
and straight allies not only bring us queer film festivals
and Pride Parades but also save lives by staffing gay
support centres. Volunteering is the ultimate gift of
giving that comes with an amazing feeling of empowerment,
strength, boosting self-respect and self-esteem. These are
ironically the qualities so many in the LGBT community may
be struggling with.

How many of us felt trapped,
powerless, neglected, unworthy, lonely if not condemned to
isolation, at times faulty if not handicapped? I think these
intense feelings and hard experiences can be rather similar
to what actual inmates and real invalids are coming
through.

There has been a lot of evidence to show that
caring for others can heal sick and traumatized. Retired
soldiers, seniors, inmates and even sick and autistic
children have been reported to virtually being transformed
through interactions with animals. Animals visiting patients
in hospitals and residents in retirement villages contribute
to dramatic improvements in their health and mental state.
Swimming with dolphins has been as therapy for children with
disabilities and animal interactions have been encouraged
for autistic and antisocial children. In the US prisons a
great success was reported with program where inmates adopt
street dogs and look after them. Similar program was
developed for the police and war veterans suffering from
PTSD.

PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder was first
discovered in Vietnam War veterans affected with
depressions, inability to work and fit back into their
normal lives, reliving the most terrific episodes. However,
now PTSD is often diagnosed in civil population, in people
who experienced either rather terrifying and stressful
events as well as continuous abuse. Not surprisingly, rates
of PTSD among LGBT are significantly higher than in general
population and often remains undiagnosed.

So gays and
lesbians would be quite likely to benefit from looking after
animals. I have seen myself blossoming personality changes
when people had adopted animals or began to be involved with
SPCA. There is a range various options available for
volunteering from caring after animals to training and
rehabilitation of animals with special needs.

There is a
common perception of gay and lesbian people as successful
and wealthy professionals that can reach high by
concentrating on their career, and, without burden of
children, use their money to decorate their lavish houses,
have fun and travel around the world. However in reality it
is the most vulnerable categories of the society that are
abundant in LGBT. Indeed, some of us defy bullying and
peer pressure to reach to the very top but how many break
down and end up at the bottom? How many of sexual workers
are LGBT? Least likely in the elite brothels and most likely
out in the streets, in the dark alleys around K' Rd. Yes,
Georgina Beyer and Carmen moved on to successful careers but
how many ended up less glamorously, exposed to violence,
sexual assaults, drugs, suffered mental and physical
traumas.

US data shows that staggering 40 per cent of homeless youth are LGBT.
Can we guess there is similar situation in NZ? But when we
for example contribute to Auckland City Mission, could we
expect to have special programs to address the needs of the
most vulnerable LGBT residents?

Volunteering NZ project
is actively recruiting mentors for at-risk youth, ‘one to
one friends’ for children with intellectual disabilities
and even male role models for troubled/bullied boys.
Unfortunately LGBT youth are more likely to be rejected by
their family, peers and lacking adequate help and support,
being exposed to the street culture, they could proceed to
the correction facilities, where they may get even further
marginalized and targeted for their sexuality still lacking
any special programs addressing their needs. The Green
Party revealed concerns about treatment of transgender
prisoners. Several years ago, gay media was banned from
prisons so LGBT inmates have further suppressed their
freedom of information. LGBT are consistently
overrepresented in correction facilities where they are even
more susceptible to abuse and mistreatment, by both staff
and other prisoners. According to the US federal estimates, more than 200,000
youth and adults are sexually abused in prisons, with those
who identified as “non-heterosexual” being 3 times more
likely to report sexual abuse. Transgender prisoners are
particularly vulnerable, a study of California prisons
found that transgender women in men’s prisons were 13
times more likely to be sexually abused than other
prisoners. At the same time inmates do not have access to
condoms. And most of all, incarceration could have enormous
mental toll on LGBT inmates who in the sexually charged
atmosphere often chose to be closeted, further punishing
themselves into isolation.

There are various volunteer
programs in prisons but they are mostly run by Christian
organizations that are not known to support or encourage
LGBT identity. In the UK, there are special supportive
programs for LGBT prisoners including prison visits,
correspondence and mentoring. I believe this could be
implemented in this country too. And what about senior
LGBT citizens? Volunteer visitors for retirement villages
are in enormous demand however when I spoke with a social
worker I found out that current system does not recognize
sexuality, presuming all elderly to be heterosexual. In
other countries there are already several LGBT communities,
specifically in the USA and Germany. There is even lesbian
only cemetery opened last year in Austria. One can guess
that there must be plenty of LGBT pensioners in NZ too, and
been more likely to be childless, they could be further
stigmatized and isolated, in greater need for sympathy and
understanding.

Volunteering is also crucial for refugees
and asylum seekers, who require assistance in adjusting to
new life in New Zealand, connecting with local communities
and services. Refugees are often traumatized and isolated
and LGBT refugees are particularly vulnerable. While New
Zealand had accepted a number of LGBT asylums, there is no
specific support program for them while for example in
Canada there is a range of dedicated LGBT refugee services
and even the government supported program to sponsor LGBT
refugees to come and settle in Canada.

Gay people still
may feel powerless and broken but in fact being different
requires courage and strength. Young LGBT can still be
bullied coming humiliating experiences on pair to Carrie
from Stephen King’s book not realizing that they may have
powers as strong as hers to go through their lives. In
tolerant Canada, Christian straight guy called Timothy Kurek
lived through experiment of posing for a gay guy for a year.
He lost most of his friends and was verbally and physically
abused. He wrote a book about his experience, dedicating the
whole chapter to the first time he was called 'faggot'. “I
had to be held back from attacking the person that did it. I
never felt so violated and minimized in my entire life,
because of that one word.”

An inmate in Leeds prison in
the UK spoke to Pink News about the project when he had to
represent LGBT for month: “It made me stand in a gay
man’s shoes, and feel how all them people I’ve beat up
and caused grief with feel, which made me feel small, lower
than low, disgusted with myself, a hypocrite if I must say.
To know how hard it must be to be gay, how much shit they
must go through, how hard it must be to come out and admit
they are gay.”

Then in Australia, Jetstar employees last
year played a joke on a straight customer by arranging
stickers to make huge I AM GAY phrase over his red suitcase.
"I am a white heterosexual male. This trifecta of privilege
means that I’m not routinely subjected to prejudice,” he
wrote. “But for a few minutes I got to walk in the shoes
of a gay person in a public place. For no good reason I had
had a slur marked over my luggage. I was degraded. I was
ashamed. I was humiliated.”

Volunteering is that
incredible gift that helps us see how strong we really are.
There must be a reason why many LGBT chose professions that
require empathy, becoming doctors, nurses and social
workers. To capable of the gift of giving, one should
understand the taker well and have sympathy. It may be too
daring to dedicate one’s to charity and serving people
24/7 but anybody can still discover the gift of giving by
volunteering for a good worthy cause, changing one’s life
and making bigger change for the better in the
community.

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