My weblog features 327 word pieces, no more, no less. the 327 word essay is a time-honored form made popular (at least to me) from the days of my zine and website: 327: A Publication by and for People Born on March 27.

Monday, May 07, 2012

Tourists

To all those spandex-wearing carbon fiber-riding cyclists
who blew by me in both directions on the Burke-Gilman trail today, I just
have one question: where we you in December when it was dark at 3:30 in the
afternoon and the rain was blowing sideways into your face as you struggled
against a headwind whether heading north or south?

Oh, I know any biking is good biking and props to you for
taking the two-wheeler out of storage on this beautiful afternoon, putting it
on top of the car, and driving out to Logboom Park so you can hammer up and
down the trail for an hour and get a real workout, but still, don’t you know who I am? (Obviously not, or you wouldn’t look askance
at me as you zoom by; rather, you’d hold me in the appropriate awe for having
been out there on many a day you wouldn’t dream of pedaling your fender-less
Cervelo on.)

Sourpuss? Sure, I
admit it, but I’ve earned it, see? This
is my trail, the one I had to put up with not being able to use for nine cold
and rainy months but instead had to mash up Lake City Boulevard with busses and
cars deafening me. So pardon me if I’m
less than thrilled to see you out on the nicest day of the year riding three
abreast and talking on your cellphones as you pretend to be Lance Armstrong,
okay?

Of course, I have to laugh when your rock-hard 23mm tires bounce
high off the tree roots and send your diaper-covered posteriors skyward while
meanwhile, I cruise gently over all such obstacles on the Saluki’s cushy 42’s.

And so many grimaces, as riders pushed themselves to their
limits and beyond. I, on the other hand,
just kept smiling, watching as my fair-weather friends clenched their jaws and
bared their teeth, heartened by the knowledge that rain will soon be back and with
it, the madding crowd.