Now let’s convict his gardener

Yesterday a Military tribunal convicted Osama bin-Ladin’s chauffer of being Osama bin-Ladin’s chauffeur. Well, the actual charge was “providing material support to terrorism”. But seriously, how much actual “support” did he really provide? Even the kangaroo court designed to produce convictions in this mismanaged “war” couldn’t agree with the government on that one. On the more serious charge of conspiracy, he was acquitted.

So, a secret military court, set up by the Bush administration specifically to produce convictions and prisoners, where the prosecution was allowed to use secret evidence and evidence gleaned through torture enhanced interrogation methods, didn’t produce the result Bush & Co. wanted. There may be hope after all.

Prosecutors argued for a 30-year sentence; the tribunal gave him 5 1/2 years including time already served at Guantanamo Bay. So, the punishment for being a fucking car driver for the most evil terrorist in the world is 6 months in an American gulag. Even Hitler’s chauffeur wasn’t charged with war crimes at the Nuremberg trials.

“I hope the day comes that you return to your wife and daughters and your country, and you’re able to be a provider, a father and a husband in the best sense of all those terms,” the judge told Hamdan.

The punchline, of course, is that even though Hamdan is theoretically a free man in 6 months, the Bush administration has reserved the “right” to “detain” him until the end of the so-called “war on terror”.

Which means indefinitely, or at least until our government collectively regains its sanity.

To put this “conviction” in perspective, remember the famous decks of cards the military was handing out as recognition tools to help the troops identify key Iraqi and al-Qaeda leadership? Well, if Hamdan were in the deck of cards, he wouldn’t even be the card with the list of poker hands on it. He’d be the box. Or maybe the rubber band you use after the box falls apart. He was that important.