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Since Tom and I got engaged, I feel like something completely new has been released in me and it is so exciting to discover that.

A little while back we now set our wedding date – which is SO exciting!!! – and I thought in my naïve thinking that it would be easy to find a venue with 6 months time… but I was SO wrong, I felt a bit like Mary and Joseph must have felt, I got rejected everywhere, all Restaurants and official venues are booked out – literally every weekend, unbelievable. The date we picked for our Wedding has a meaning to us and I just knew in my Spirit that God would make a way. So I gave God our Day and prayed with childlike faith that HE would work a creative miracle, literally opening something up for us that was booked before and to top it – in our favorite location.

In the meantime we’ve been considering to switch to Friday or Sunday, but that would make it harder for our International Guests to come…. I kept believing and then I got to witness how ABBA stepped in and literally created OUR space…. I felt that I must call that one Restaurant again, the same Lady as the week before was on the line (yay!). I told her that I had called a week earlier – she remembered – and asked her about Friday or Sunday in our desired week.

She said “They are both free. But your favorite date was that Saturday, right?”

Me “Yes!“ (inside I was giggling already, knowing what was about to happen – because GOD just rocks!)

She “Well, we do have a 30th birthday reservation, but they didn’t give us any numbers, wait a second, please. I am gonna talk to the boss….. well, you are in!“

All Glory to God, it was SO easy! Just letting GOD do what HE prepared already. That was another “life lesson” for me – to not strive! If God prepared it, he will do it no matter what it is! And I get to watch HIM to do.

Be encouraged Friend – let God be God in your life and follow HIS direction!

I made a conscious decision to live my life as a follower of Christ and a child of God when I was in my mid teens. Around that time I also found out that my Dad wasn’t actually my biological father, but that he had adopted me.

Having him in my life has always been very important and I would never see him as anything different, than my Dad. But the news still unnerved me quite a bit. More so, because my biological father had made a runner as soon as he found out that I was on the way. Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly “planned”. Let’s just leave it at that.

Despite having just become a new creation in Christ, I started to develop quite a bit of hate for my biological father. So I didn’t really start to look for him, despite being curious what he may look like and what kind of a person he is. If I would have looked for him and if I had found him, I would have wanted him dead. That’s how mad I was at him for leaving my Mom and me.

This feeling lasted roughly until I became 16. For the next 2 years I thought about finding him, just to give him a good beating. I was still so full of rage.

At the age of 18 I calmed down a bit more. I still hadn’t attempted to look for him, as I didn’t really want to follow through what my feelings were telling me. Now I was at a point where I wanted to find him just to get some financial gain out of him. Still not the right attitude, I know…

When I turned 20 I was finally at a point where I was ready to forgive him. I was ready to see things from his perspective and to just get to know him for who he is. No hidden agenda, no thoughts of revenge. So this time I had the courage to go and look. My Mom and my grandparents gave me some clues as to where he used to live. I found one of his sisters with the help of my best friend. She gave me all his details and I eventually made “the phone call”. As you can imagine, he was very surprised to hear from me. But fair play, he invited me for his birthday a few months down the line.

The whole visit was a disaster. His current wife was very suspicious of me and he still had the same issues my Mom had warned me about. I had to cut the visit short and leave earlier than we had planned.

Upon my return all the thoughts of hatred from the past had come back and I hated him with an even greater passion.

I’m purposely keeping some details very vague in this introduction as this is a public blog and I’m not writing this to embarrass anyone in my family. If you’re interested in more details, I invite you to have a chat with me.

At the time the conference was announced I had been interested in TACF and teachings on the Father’s love since about 1999. This meant I was very interested in attending. Little did I know how much Father God had in store for me for those few days, isn’t He just so good?!

Jack Frost led one of the teaching sessions and it was all about the fathers and men in our lives. Initially I was very comfortable listening to Jack sharing about his father’s mistakes and Jack’s own mistakes as a father and how he experienced the Father heart of God for himself and what goes along with it, such as forgiveness and healing. None of this had much to do with myself and subconsciously I kept it all at a safe distance.

There came a point where Jack’s sharing turned and became very personal. He started talking about the fathers of those in the audience. He talked about their issues, failures, mistakes and problems. He talked about the difference between our perfect Heavenly Father and our earthly fathers and manly role models. And he shared about the importance of forgiving those that had done us wrong in small or bigger ways.

To say I wasn’t happy is an understatement. I didn’t think there was much my Dad (adoptive father) had done wrong, so forgiving him was an easy thing to do. But I strictly and purposely ignored any notions to forgive my biological father.

Then came a ministry time and we were invited to step out of our seats and go to an area where the ministry team could minister to us.

To be fair, I went there for a blessing, maybe even a “buzz”. I wasn’t prepared for what God had in store:

When I stepped on to my place in the line I suddenly had an open vision. I found myself in a pram and could see through my own eyes as a newborn, just a few days old. All I saw was the cover of the pram and a bit of the sky. Suddenly I could see the face of my biological father looking into the pram. He quickly looked and went. The vision ended there.

A young man from the ministry team approached me. I personally thought he was “too young” to minister to be on the topic of forgiving our fathers. I desired to speak to one of the older guys. Never mind, he turned out to be a great, humble and anointed man of God.

I shared the vision with him that I just had and he asked me to close my eyes and prayed a simple prayer: “Jesus, would you please come and show Tom where you were in this situation?”

In an instant the vision returned. This time I had my eyes closed and I saw it from the perspective of a spectator. It appeared like the view of a camera, almost like a cinema movie.

I saw my Mom and her sister stand in a park, with my Mom holding the handle bar of the pram I was in. My biological father stepped into the scene. He approached the two women and the pram. He look into the pram, tried to give my Mom some sort of gift and it looked like my aunt started arguing with him and sent him away. He walked off without looking back.

Next thing this other guys stepped into the scene. There was an immediate sense of love and awe that I could feel. He was casually dressed in what I can only describe as some sort of linen trousers and shirt in a very light cream colour. I knew in an instant that He was Jesus. I tried looking into His face and it felt like I could zoom in with a camera. But all I could ever catch were His lips and His eyes. I was never able to see the whole face.

He wore a tender, but sure looking smile on His face. And I will never forget His eyes: They were like a mixture of fire, oceans full of water, waterfalls and very clear, sparkling diamonds. There was a passion and kind of “liquid love” in His eyes. One look into them satisfied me forever and made me more hungrier than ever at the same time.

Jesus walked up to the pram, took Baby Thomas (myself) out, threw me into the air whilst laughing and caught me again. Then he walked to my Mom, gave her a kiss on the cheek and stood right next to her with me on His arm, almost as if to pose for an official family portrait.

He wanted to show me that I am part of His family. No matter what anyone else had decided. He had welcomed me. He had accepted me and He had most definitely planned me. He was also so proud to show me off.

There the second vision ended.

I had a third vision that only lasted a few seconds. I was in the throne room of God and I looked at the throne. I could see this immense, huge being on a throne. Where there was meant to be a face, I could only see blinding light, but it was not uncomfortable to look into. For a few seconds a very sad looking face of my biological father appeared in front of the light, almost as if God had taken on my father’s face. And I heard the words: “Please will you allow me to help you forgive him? He didn’t know better and would have never known better. That’s why I have put your Dad into your life. So that you would have a real Dad that took care of your Mom and you and loved you dearly.”

I just cried. I cried a long time and after a while this guy from the ministry team and I went through some prayers of forgiveness for my father and other males in my life that had failed me.

I cannot begin to describe to you how much of a difference this has made inside of me. But a massive healing process started there and I was also given the privilege to minister to quite a few others in the Father’s love since then.

After the conference was over I told my Mom about this experience. It brought a lot of healing to her, too!She confirmed that the scene I had seen in my two visions had actually happened and was the last time my biological father had seen me until I met him again at the age of 20.

Isn’t God just so good? Do you have any experience with God’s fatherly love that you’d like to share? Why don’t you leave us a comment?

“How blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart are the highways to Zion! Passing through the valley of Tears they make it a spring;

The early rain also covers it with blessings. They go from strength to strength, Every one of them appears before God in Zion.

O Lord God of hosts, hear my prayer…look upon the face of Your anointed. O Lord of hosts, How blessed is the man who trusts in You!” (Psalm 84)

A couple of years ago I was part of a Gospel Choir project. It was a wonderful time, yet during this time I discovered some weird symptoms on my body. I ignored them for a while, praying that God would take them away but they increased, during this one rehearsal I was so afraid, I finally scheduled an appointment at my Doctors. I am thankful to have a Doctor who believes in God and first of all honors God as Jahwe Rapha – the Lord who heals. As I was driving to this appointment together with my Mom, we were praying in the Car desperately, expecting God to touch me. I explained the Doctor my symptoms, he listened carefully and scheduled a Cat scan, before going there he said “Lets pray together”. So we welcomed Gods presence there and asked God for HIS wisdom. The Doctor felt, he should anoint me with Oil according to James 5,14-15

“Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him.”

The presence of God was very strong there and after that anointing I left for the scheduled Cat scan. During this check up I saw Jesus sitting beside me, holding my hand, and angels walking up and down the room worshipping and proclaiming life over my body, I was not afraid, knowing that HEAVEN invaded that room and was there with me!

The results of the Cat scan indicated a sickness that’s been in our family line and that is “incurable” and would get worse over the years. That was a shock, of course, why would God allow me – his child – to get that? I was going through a serious time of suffering, questioning, brokenness yet HOLDING on to the promises of God, that he IS the healer and that there IS Power in the Name of Jesus. I am thankful for my Family and amazing brothers and sisters that lifted me up in this time of pain, suffering, despair. God showed my Doctor a way of treatment that was “unusual” but clearly what GOD said, he should do. So along with lots of prayer, looking to God for HIM to touch me with healing we started this treatment. It was a long and draining process but after all God healed me.

You might say, “Great, you got healed, but why am I suffering from this or that sickness? Why is my family broken? Why am I experiencing so much pain and sorrow?” I certainly wish we wouldn’t have to go through all this, but one thing I know, our God is greater. We live in this fallen world that in so many ways does not do the things God originally planned, because of that – even though we are children of God and are protected by the blood of Jesus – we do experience the causes of the fallen world. One thing I know, the processes we all have to go through strengthen us to hold on to God, they teach us and even though we don’t feel like it when we are in the middle of the battle, we become a blessing for others who may go through similar things. Think about a diamond, it is made under immense pressure, and look how beautiful it is. God sees the diamond, the treasure in us. Our life is a message to this world, everyone digests pressure differently. Let me encourage you, hold on to GOD no matter what you are facing right now. Trust HIS word. Allow HIM to carry you when you have no strength anymore to walk, allow him to hold you, to touch you. Look into his beautiful eyes and ask HIM how he will glorify himself in your time of trial and testing. HE will never let you down! He is right there with you in your valley of tears. You are NOT alone!

There are bible scriptures or even some sayings that stick with us for a long time, almost as if they are a „life – word“ for us. Have you ever noticed that? I have a few of those words that have been treasures of my life and always bring new features to it. One of those verses in my life is

“When God closes a door, he opens a window.”

Just recently I encountered this quite strongly. I walked through a door that I thought of being an open door from God for me. I ventured on this path and soon realized that this was a door that I wanted to go through, a door I opened myself and it was not at all GOD who had opened this door for me. Yes, there are doors that were never intended for us to walk through, even though they might look so wonderful from the other side. As we walk through those doors God doesn’t stop loving us, he still protects us from evil, but it clearly is not his path of full blessings for us. I had to learn that the hard way. God stopped me eventually. It was a sudden, almost emergency break like stop. It was painful realizing I had ventured on this “me-path”. All I could do in this moment was trust my heavenly Father, run right back into HIS arms and rely on HIM that HE would take me on the right path, showing me the window that HE opened for me. While resting in my Father’s arms from this journey of hurdles, I realized that I didn’t hear HIS voice anymore while on the “me-path”, that shocked me. I was so happy to be back home with Father God knowing that HE has a plan and a purpose for my life, leading me through the right doors at the right times.

“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am so amazed to see what HE has done in the meantime. It’s so worth it to wait on HIM opening exact the right doors or windows, HE intended for us to walk through. Trust HIM your journey is unique, don’t look to others or how their life journey looks like. Take one step at a time, GOD opens the right doors for you. But don’t sit back, walk and you’ll see those doors fling wide open! God is faithful <><

A while ago I was on a Family holiday with my parents and nephews (9 & 10). One day we drove up to this little chapel hidden in the mountains. It belongs to a small monastry. I had been there before and wanted to take my family there, too.

As we entered that chapel no people where there. We strolled through the aisles, looked at the paintings, I stopped in front of the Altar, facing the Altar, I closed my eyes and started singing a worship song, it didn’t take long till I could sense the sweet fragrance of the Holy Spirit filling the room, I sang another song. After a precious time of worship I turned to leave the chapel and was nearly shocked when I saw the pews filled with people listening, enjoying that short time of worship. They must have sneaked in very quietly. As I walked outside some of them nodded there had with a “Thank you” and I was just thankful having been able to spend this time of worship giving them the chance to encounter God. After all they were tourists wanting to see another sight on their list of things to see. They most probably didn’t expect to encounter God. I didn’t mean to entertain anyone, I was just filling the place with worship, allowing Father God to love on those folks. I hadn’t planned that. It just flew naturally and I just had eyes for my heavenly Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. That was so precious!

I got bolder now, worshipping in public places – our praise & worship changes the atmosphere and allows Gods Holy Spirit to come and touch people. When we start worshipping HIM heaven comes down and HE works in situations that we have no answers for, all we have to do is lift up our eyes to HIM, lift up our voices and PRAISE HIM, love on HIM and HE will do the impossible, HE will bring light in situations that seem impossible, HE will heal & restore.

Sometimes it seems too hard to praise, that’s when we speak of a “Praise Offering”, I can tell a number of stories where I just wanted to cry, hide, mourn and be depressive due to situations that where too hard to bear, BUT turning to GOD in those situations and starting to worship him has brought healing – physical & emotional, joy, new life, love, peace,….

Be encouraged, try it out. God LOVES hearing you sing HIM your love song. It doesn’t have to be well known songs, just sing whatever is in your heart, you will be amazed about the well that’s opening up inside of you. And don’t you say “I can’t sing.” YOU CAN! GOD loves to hear your voice!

Did you ever realize how much effort we put in our outer looks when we first meet someone? Don’t we have a desire to leave the best possible impression about us? We dress up nicely, put on nice jewelry and make up etc…only for people to see the best side of us – making really sure that nobody sees those little “mistakes” we think we have. How about that pimple that wasn’t there the night before? Gosh! Funny enough I pondered a few times about trying out the Windex method? Never heard of that? In the movie “My big fast Greek wedding” Toulas Dad always uses Windex for anything. Yes, we do crazy stuff to show off, to wear the best mask we can. But how about simply being our beautiful self, not worrying if that one hair is getting messed up by the wind…if someone is really interested in us, they look for deeper stuff – our heart, that’s the “thing” we long to connect with – right?

As a teenage girl I always struggled with the way I look, my not so nice skin, my too much weight etc. etc, plus I was born into a Christian family, which made me think I am not “normal”, I am “different” than everybody else. I simply did not like myself at all. Then one day I came across the word “You are born an original, don’t die a copy”. I thought, “Right, that’s true for everybody else – I am weird.”

It took years for me to start enjoying the way God created me, learning to see what treasures HE placed inside of me. I was able to join a School of Ministry in Canada in my early Twens, little did I know how much that would restore the picture of how HE created me to be and how HE sees me – I now can say, He calls me beautiful. But that school was just the beginning of a long journey of healing. It’s not that my family didn’t love me or anything, they did! But the world so often tells us different! And we are so desperate to fit the latest “beauty ideals” and try to fit in. We are Originals! Each one of us! We are all “different”. Thank GOD for that!

God says to each one of us, “You are beautiful! I created you in my image. I, God Almighty, who IS beauty, can not create anything ugly.”

If you call yourself that or live according to this lie, that Satan whispers into your ear, God is hurt. So start looking up to your heavenly Father, let HIM love on you and show you how beautiful you really are! You are HIS masterpiece! His treasured possession! Ask him to show you how he sees you. You will be amazed!

HE is love in person; the truth in physical form; the way and the way sign in one and pure, clear, rich life. There is no one like Him, there has never been anyone like Him and there will never be anyone that comes after Him. Everything and everyone was created through Him. He is JESUS CHRIST, King of kings, Lord of lords and He has great fun living (and loving) right inside of you. Yes, that’s right! Inside of YOU! YOU’RE His glorious temple. You are the open Heaven. Light and salt of this earth. It is not part of the plan for your new nature to hide away and you’re definitely not tasteless…

I recently had the spontaneous idea to leave my train to work a station earlier to add some walking to my strength workout I had in the gym a few minutes beforehand. I also wanted to spend time praising God for a few minutes. The day before I had a rather nasty experience with some attempts off someone to be very controlling towards me and to my surprise, that person even manifested a religious spirit. This had left me quite shaken and I just needed some quality time with Daddy God.

Papa God, Jesus and Holy Spirit is just awesome! (Yes, “is” is not a grammar error in this case.)

I had just left the train, started praying in tongues and hummed along to the songs from the Bethel Loft Sessions CD in my ears, when I suddenly had what I can only describe as an open vision. I saw a group of angels and they joined my worship. It is hard to describe how I saw this. But I’m not really worried about what people think about me, reading this. Well, let’s just say it moves me less and less. Haha.

It was a vision, but it happened on 3 levels. Parts of it I saw with my physical eyes, other parts I “saw” inside of me and part of the scenes were kind of described to me on my inside.

Those angels appeared to have dressed up as an old style American Gospel Choir. They were rocking away, dancing, clapping, toe tapping and shouting. It was all there. I was barely able to walk straight; I was laughing so much. And throughout all of that, the Father’s love was just flowing into me. This did me so well. It was very liberating and after the experience from the day before it was just like a healing touch and a time of regeneration.

I’m having a big grin on my face, whilst typing this up.

Maybe you want to leave a comment and share a funny experience you’ve had with God?

I recently went away on a trip to Germany to visit my lovely girlfriend Corrie. The flights I had booked with a known low-cost airline were going to leave Stansted Airport very early in the morning. Since I live in South Wales it is quite a trip to London Stansted and I wouldn’t have been able to travel there over night.

My initial plan was to stay at some friend’s house in Hammersmith. But on the day before the flight departure, I realised that Hammersmith is quite a distance away from Stansted Airport and staying with my friends over night wouldn’t have made much sense in terms of saving travel time. So I initially opted for spending the night at the airport, which I had done a few times in the past.

Later on that day I prayed over my decision and felt that Father didn’t want me to spend the night on the airport and felt to look for a reasonable priced Bed and Breakfast accommodation. I didn’t really think I would be able to find any on such short notice. It was meant to be for the evening of that same day.

But after only 2 to 3 minutes of looking I actually found a place very close to Stansted Airport. The reviews were mostly positive and the pictures looked promising. The price was very low for the area and my short notice booking. I gave them a call and reserved my single room and also booked transport from and to the airport for a very cheap fee.

I arrived at the airport after a long train journey and contacted the B&B to be picked up from there. A silver van collected a few other people and myself and drove us away for a few minutes. We stopped at a large 3 star country hotel site and I thought the driver would just let out the other guests and bring me to the B&B after. I was surprised to hear him tell me that this was meant to be my destination, too. He told me it was my lucky day and my booking had been upgraded.

Elated I entered the hotel and double checked the fee on the bill. It was the same and I was happy to provide payment details. I was given my room keys and it was actually an Executive Double Room. A bright and airy room with large windows, a nice big bed, a separate working space and a huge bath room you could have danced in. I was absolutely stunned and happy and just couldn’t stop thanking God for His wonderful provision. I felt treated like a king.

The next morning I woke up after a nice rest in a very comfortable bed. I later went to the restaurant for a quick, continental breakfast. As I sat down to have my food, I noticed huge wall painting on the opposite site of the room. The painting was showing scenes from the Paradise. Adam and Eve, animals and plants. I smiled to myself and burst into laughter. Must have looked a bit weird to the other guests at 5:15 in the morning.

After I saw that painting, I really knew who had organised that royal treatment for me that night.