Tag Archives: resiliency

Apr201316

Everyone experiences challenges, pain, loss, and setbacks. How can we look at our disappointments and hurts and still maintain a positive perspective on life? How do we increase our resiliency when we’re going through turbulent changes?

The story of Kisa Gotami

A Buddhist story, “The Mustard Seed,” shows that we don’t suffer independently or differently from others. This story is a favorite of the Oneness guides of India. As the story goes, Kisa Gotami, a woman whose son has died, is in deep suffering. In her grief, she carries her son’s body to all the people in her village and asks everyone for help. Finally a villager sends her to see the Buddha, to whom she cries out, “Master, please help me! Give me medicine to cure my child and bring him back to life!”

“Bring me a handful of mustard seeds that were taken from a house where no death has occurred and no grief experienced,” the Buddha replies. “It must be a home where no one has lost a parent, friend, spouse, or child. Then you will be free from suffering.”

So Kisa Gotami searches for a family that has not experienced death. She cannot find such a family, of course. At each home in her village, she is reminded that everyone has gone through the same grief she is experiencing. There is no house where a beloved person has not died. Everyone has suffered as she is suffering. Finally, she realizes that her suffering is not unique. Now she knows that her situation cannot be changed. Since death happens in all families, she can no longer remain selfish in her grief. At last, because she sees that she is not alone, Kisa Gotami releases her suffering. She buries her child in the forest and returns to the Buddha to take comfort.

This story is a lesson about shared suffering. It’s about understanding that we don’t suffer differently from other people. Like Kisa Gotami, we have experienced joy, happiness, pain, and fear. None of these are new, and our suffering is not special. Suffering is common to humanity because no one leads an independent existence. In the New Testament writings, the mustard seed represents faith. Everyone has the same emotions, even the same habits that we use to avoid suffering. We are intimately related and connected through suffering, and we share it collectively. We can no more own suffering than we can own the stars.

Your suffering is not unique

Your suffering is not unique, nor are you alone in your suffering. Suffering is shared, nobody owns it, and we even suffer the same way. Suffering is the same for everybody, because it is always the same mechanism at work. Since we share the same mind and consciousness, why would our suffering be different?

There is no one on this planet that will escape suffering. When we resist suffering, we dissociate from the experience, we blame others, or we set up escape routes in our mind to distract us. We’re afraid to experience suffering, but if you want to be finished with it, then you’ll have to allow those feelings to come. Resistance can be its own brand of suffering. This is because your resistance will keep the experience coming back again and again.

If hurt is present, don’t create some explanation for it. Experience the hurt completely and let yourself go straight through the experience. Give yourself permission to feel these things just as if you would if joy were in front of you. Don’t be afraid. Suffering is just another experience. It comes to an end. When you embrace it and move though it, you won’t get stuck in it.

I hope you enjoyed these tips on being with ease with yourself. I’d love to hear from you, so please do share your comments and personal stories below.

And, please stay in touch with me by subscribing to this blog using the form on the right-hand side of your screen. That way, I can send you more stories and insight from The Oneness Gospel.

Mar201312

Change your outlook on change. This is ‘big picture’ thinking. While major upheavals in life can be challenging, you still need to view adversity as change, not as loss and failure. Humans develop resiliency through change, both physiologically and emotionally. It is necessary for all life forms to evolve. You have to give up ‘certainty’ and trust the process of life more often. Know that Spirit supports you no matter what. Adversity is a deeply spiritual lesson because God is attempting to show you a piece of life you need to view for your own evolution and transformation.

Remain fully present to your suffering. Being fully present during loss, grief, and all forms of adversity is important. Until you process your pain, you cannot move through it. People often stuff or manage their emotional pain which then translates into poor health, overeating, and more psychological suffering. Feel your suffering, and experience it in order to move past it.

Affirm your positive, present moment benefits no matter what. Accepting life’s contrasts, whether from financial loss, divorce, illness, or grief, means you accept life wholeheartedly. You must accept the bad as well as the good. As adults we tend to resent life. Keep moving forward, and ask for Divine assistance. You will be amazed at how help arrives so be open to receiving your good. The universe is infinitely creative and will send help in ways you could not imagine.

Let’s draw strength together and remember each day is a new opportunity to make positive change in your world, no matter what. Affirm:

“Change is good. I am comforted knowing starting over is an ongoing job. I am becoming more resilient with every circumstance. I never give up. Life is a cycle and there’s always more room for love. I believe I am evolving every day.”

Suffering is a condition we can move through. Humans are designed to experience grief but not be permanently stuck in grief. Remember, adverse changes in life permit personal growth and permit us a greater capacity to love.

I hope you enjoyed these tips on embrace the light and dark sides of life. I’d love to hear from you, so please do share your comments and personal stories below.

And, please stay in touch with me by subscribing to this blog using the form on the right-hand side of your screen. That way, I can send you more stories and insight from The Oneness Gospel.

Sep201225

Bhagavan makes spirituality easy, and says it is the amount of joy you have in your life. It is not measured by how many hours you meditate. Everyone, he says, will have a unique form of spirituality and awakening. If there are six billion people on the planet, then there will be six billion extraordinary experiences of awakening and of the Divine. That’s six billion special practices of spiritualities, six billion special experiences of spiritual transformation. One is not better than the other. Just be honest with yourself and know growth never really ends.

There’s an old story about a man seeking enlightenment. He finds an enlightened holy man who shares his before-and-after scenario with the spiritual seeker. “Before I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water,” says the holy man.

The seeker, expecting to hear about how amazing the holy man’s life became after his awakening, says, “Wow, what did you do afterward?”

“Chopped wood, carried water,” replies the holy man. “Only after I was enlightened, I really enjoyed it.” The spiritual seeker who looks to quiet the mind and pursues communion with God is growing his or her consciousness and doesn’t look for extraordinary experiences. When your consciousness grows, it means that you are developing the ability to experience the simplest things in life with joy.

You can have the same experiences repeatedly and feel a new, heightened sense of awareness each time. Eating a big slice of your birthday cake is always fun. So is seeing the same family members every year, riding the Tilt-A-Whirl, or catching the same bass in the lake behind your house. Unawareness is feeling disconnected or let down by life, feeling depressed, like a robot living on emotional reactions. You sense lack everywhere, in everything. If you think you’re leading a spiritual life, ask yourself, “How well am I experiencing my reality? Is there joy in nearly everything?” If you’re awakened, you see life for what it is rather than what you think it should be. Living a spiritual life is feeling at ease with yourself, your feelings, and your relationships. It’s accepting people exactly as they are and being grateful for them. You’re able to face other people without fear, guilt, or defense mechanisms because you’re not on guard, not afraid of making mistakes or losing something.

A person who is truly spiritual can live alongside of others and never forget God, even for a moment. The Sufi sage Abu Sa’id ibn Abi-al-Khayr once said that the true mystic can come and go, eat and sleep, buy and sell, marry, chat, and be with others in the mainstream of life but never be out of touch with his or her own divinity. No matter what your life experiences are, there is no reason ever to be separated from who you really are.

I hope you enjoyed this short article on being with ease with yourself. I’d love to hear from you, so please do share your comments and personal stories below.

And, please stay in touch with me by subscribing to this blog using the form on the right-hand side of your screen. That way, I can send you more stories and insight from The Oneness Gospel.

Nov201122

Everyone experiences pain, loss, and setbacks. How can we look at our disappointments and hurts and still maintain a positive perspective on life? How do we increase our resiliency when we’re going through turbulent changes?

The story of Kisa Gotami

A Buddhist story, “The Mustard Seed,” shows that we don’t suffer independently or differently from others. This story is a favorite of the Oneness guides of India. As the story goes, Kisa Gotami, a woman whose son has died, is in deep suffering. In her grief, she carries her son’s body to all the people in her village and asks everyone for help. Finally a villager sends her to see the Buddha, to whom she cries out, “Master, please help me! Give me medicine to cure my child and bring him back to life!”

“Bring me a handful of mustard seeds that were taken from a house where no death has occurred and no grief experienced,” the Buddha replies. “It must be a home where no one has lost a parent, friend, spouse, or child. Then you will be free from suffering.”

So Kisa Gotami searches for a family that has not experienced death. She cannot find such a family, of course. At each home in her village, she is reminded that everyone has gone through the same grief she is experiencing. There is no house where a beloved person has not died. Everyone has suffered as she is suffering. Finally, she realizes that her suffering is not unique. Now she knows that her situation cannot be changed. Since death happens in all families, she can no longer remain selfish in her grief. At last, because she sees that she is not alone, Kisa Gotami releases her suffering. She buries her child in the forest and returns to the Buddha to take comfort.

This story is a lesson about shared suffering. It’s about understanding that we don’t suffer differently from other people. Like Kisa Gotami, we have experienced joy, happiness, pain, and fear. None of these are new, and our suffering is not special. Suffering is common to humanity because no one leads an independent existence. In the New Testament writings, the mustard seed represents faith. Everyone has the same emotions, even the same habits that we use to avoid suffering. We are intimately related and connected through suffering, and we share it collectively. We can no more own suffering than we can own the stars.

Your suffering is not unique

Your suffering is not unique, nor are you alone in your suffering. Suffering is shared, nobody owns it, and we even suffer the same way. Suffering is the same for everybody, because it is always the same mechanism at work. Since we share the same mind and consciousness, why would our suffering be different?

There is no one on this planet that will escape suffering. When we resist suffering, we dissociate from the experience, we blame others, or we set up escape routes in our mind to distract us. We’re afraid to experience suffering, but if you want to be finished with it, then you’ll have to allow those feelings to come. Resistance can be its own brand of suffering. This is because your resistance will keep the experience coming back again and again.

If hurt is present, don’t create some explanation for it. Experience the hurt completely and let yourself go straight through the experience. Give yourself permission to feel these things just as if you would if joy were in front of you. Don’t be afraid. Suffering is just another experience. It comes to an end. When you embrace it and move though it, you won’t get stuck in it.

How can we embrace the light and dark sides of life and still respect life as a learning journey?

Change your outlook on change. This is “big picture thinking.” Of course major upheavals in life can be challenging, but you still need to view adversity as change, not loss and failure. Changes teach us resiliency, both physiologically and emotionally. Change is necessary for all life forms to evolve. You have to give up certainty and trust the ever-changing process of life. Know that Spirit supports you, no matter what. Adversity is a deeply spiritual lesson because God is showing you a piece of life you need to view for your own evolution and transformation.

Remain fully present to your suffering. Being fully present during loss, grief, and other forms of adversity is important. Until you process your pain, you cannot move through it. People often stuff or manage their emotional pain, which then translates into poor health, bad habits, and more psychological suffering. Embrace your suffering. Feel it and experience it in order to move past it.

Affirm your positive, present-moment benefits, no matter what. Accepting life’s contrasts, whether from financial loss, divorce, illness, or grief, means you accept life wholeheartedly. You must accept the bad with the good. As adults, we tend to resent life. Keep moving forward, look up, and ask for Divine assistance. You’ll be amazed at how help arrives, so be open to receiving your good. The universe is infinitely creative. It will send help in ways you cannot imagine.

Let’s draw our strength together and remember that each day is a new opportunity to make positive change in your world, no matter what. Affirm:

“Change is good. I am comforted by knowing that starting over is an ongoing job. I am becoming more resilient with every circumstance. I never give up. Life is a cycle, so there’s always more room for love. I believe I am evolving every day.”

Suffering is a condition we can move through. Humans are designed to experience grief, but not to be permanently stuck in it. Remember that adverse changes in life permit personal growth and give us a greater capacity to love. Watch the corresponding video on The Balancing Act here.

More affirmations that help you develop resiliency and strength to survive adversity. Self development lessons and weekly power exercises from Let Your Goddess Grow! are included in attachments.

Grief arising from loss

My heartache fills my entire body today, but I know the love I have for this person who has crossed over is far greater than my heartache. From this day forward, each time I feel my heart aching from the absence of this person, I will focus on the love they brought into my life. I am so very thankful to have been blessed by their presence. No one is ever lost or gone forever, because love lasts forever. Every time I feel a heartache coming on, I send out a greater amount of love to the outer reaches of the universe and beyond. I am comfortable knowing this person will receive my love every day and through every loving thought.

Facing divorce

I leave this relationship with grace and dignity. I know my soul must grow in a place outside the perimeter of this relationship. No matter how painful the past has been, I am thankful that this venture has been part of my learning journey because it helps me to further define myself. My ability to give and receive love remains intact. My heart is healing. I have tremendous capacity to love others, no matter what the circumstances.

Confronting addiction

I no longer run from life. I now fully engage in what life has to offer. I rise above any physical need that does not contribute to my overall health and well-being. I do not need any substance to hide from life because I love what I have to offer. I am the parent and my body is the child. I take care of my child-body with love because I love my beautiful self.

Anticipating unemployment

Finding new work requires facing a transition and changing my old mental habits. I view this period as an opportunity to become clearer about what I want to do with my life. My hurt and uncertainty about the future leave my body before I get out of bed each morning. I arise with an attitude of success. I believe this change is a learning experience, and I step up to this challenge with strength and conviction. I have a great deal to offer both a new employer and the world.

Let Your Goddess Grow

The Women's Book of Empowerment

Moments of Empowerment

Affirmations are a simple tool we can use to feel better about ourselves. By repeating aloud or silently the positive things we want for our lives, we train our minds to move past other people’s views and our own internal scripts to embrace new and joyful possibilities. According to Charlene Proctor, Ph.D., affirmations help “arrest the impulse to self-doubt and give you more energy to focus your attention on a life filled with prosperity, love, good health, and happiness.”

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The Oneness Gospel

Positive change at the level of consciousness is to re-imagine your own divinity and feel one with humanity. It begins when you release your suffering and emotional charges and learn to embrace life in the present moment.

Hidden Origins with Michael Tellinger

Michael Tellinger describes the importance of sound and symbolism for many cultures throughout the world.

Her affirmations, lectures, and electronic programs reach a worldwide audience daily. She is a frequent media guest and among the Top 100 Thought Leaders of 2007. (The Warren Bennis Leadership Magazine).

Reader Gratitude

Charlene, your words inspire me each and everyday! They open my mind and expand my horizons to places I've never traveled. keep up with all the wisdom and words of encouragement!! My god bless you and keep you healthy and safe. Just one more thing. I would so vote for you if you were on Dancing with the stars !!!!!!! David

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Charlene Proctor,

Thank you for your kind words and becoming a great friend and mentor. You positive words help lift my spirits and inspire me. I look forward to having the honor to offer a great service to you.Gods Grace be with you, Aimee

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Amazon review from: Let Your Goddess Grow! 7 Spiritual Lessons on Female Power and Positive Thinking (Paperback)
I purchased the book for my 19 years old daughter as a Christmas Gift. She's enjoying the reading and is happy about owning this book. I can see a slight improvement and a learning as on a mother daughter day she'll explain to me how she's learning to think positive based on her reading....