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Go ahead and grab your sharpest knife. Because no matter how you slice this thing, Monday night's NCAA title game between Kentucky and Connecticut is the perfect March Madness finale.

In one corner: Kentucky's precocious teenage prodigies; the relentlessly hyped Greatest Recruiting Class of All-Time; the kids who were given everything before they earned anything; the NBA-obsessed villains the media loved to tear down amid mid-season hiccups; the slick salesman on the sideline who bucks everything college sports purports to stand for — but, in some ways, might be the most honest coach around.

In the other corner: UConn's lovable underdog Huskies; the team no one expected to be here; the Cinderella whose luck just won't run out; the waterbug guards whose quick feet wreak defensive havoc; the burgeoning legend of Shabazz Napier; the second-year coach returning the program he once played for to glory through toughness and teamwork.

But let's call a timeout to regroup and debunk. Kentucky, seeded eighth to start the tournament, is technically the bigger surprise here. Don't believe that for a second, however (Las Vegas odds-makers sure don't, making Kentucky early Monday-night favorites by 2.5 points). These Wildcats are right where most predicted they'd end up way back when the college hoops season started last November.

Kentucky coach John Calipari convinced the high school class of 2013's second, fifth, seventh, ninth, eleventh and nineteenth-ranked recruits to join him in Lexington this season. Many saw that as, essentially, the most Coach Cal thing ever. Some people love the man, some people hate the man, some love to hate him and some hate the fact that they love him.

But no matter where you fall on the Coach Cal feelings spectrum, this year's freshman class probably made you double down on those emotions. Could he win the title with another batch of one-year rentals? What rule-bending might come to light later?

That's why, when these Wildcats struggled more than anyone thought they would through the regular season, so many reveled in the growing pains. But even in their brief stint as underachievers, the Wildcats were always glamorous.

Put it this way: the rapper Drake is a man who's thrown his fandom behind such favorites as Johnny Manziel and the Miami Heat. Saturday, after Kentucky beat Wisconsin in the Final Four, there he was in the Wildcats' locker room.

UConn: The Kevin and Shabazz Show

Contrast that with UConn. They, too, have players who make scouts drool — DeAndre Daniels is capable of going toe to toe, talent-wise, with almost anyone Kentucky can offer. But these aren't the Wildcats' blue-chip recruits; these aren't the kids the online basketball world started hearing about years before they even took the SAT.

The Huskies are a team molded in their coach's image. Forty-one-year-old Kevin Ollie played for legendary UConn coach Jim Calhoun in the early '90s. He never averaged more than eight points per game in the NBA, but nonetheless scratched out a 13-year career. His contributions may not have shown up in the box score, but he was always a guy you wanted to have around.

Connecticut's coach Kevin Ollie responds to questions from reporters following an NCAA college basketball team workout Tuesday, April 1, 2014, in Storrs, Conn.

Image: Steven Senne/Associated Press

When Calhoun stepped down before last season, Ollie took over. He guided the program through a rough stretch — academic violations from the Calhoun years meant they couldn't play in last year's March Madness — then led the Huskies to the Final Four in the first year he was allowed to do so.

Like Ollie, these Huskies — talented as they are — rely more on grit, teamwork and clutch plays than they do sheer genetic brilliance. Upset after upset over the past two weeks have been built on this formula (and even helped one Huskies fan win $390,000 in Las Vegas).

But any discussion of UConn's magical run has to start and end with one person: Shabazz Napier. Napier was a headstrong freshman when Kemba Walker led the Huskies to a national title with a legendary performance back in 2011. Now Napier's doing his best Kemba impression; he's been The Guy for this team since he hit a game-winning buzzer beater to take down Florida back in December. Lately, he's only increased the heroics.

Napier is small, quick, fearless and can score points in bushels. In short: He's a treat to watch play college basketball. Here's a highlight reel one fan put together last week:

On the biggest stage of all

The teams, the coaches, the storylines — Monday night's game will even be played in the perfect venue for today's college sports zeitgeist.

North Texas' AT&T stadium is typically home to the NFL's Dallas Cowboys, but it's hosting the Final Four this year. More than 79,000 fans packed the indoor stadium for Saturday's semifinals to watch amateur athletes in action. Before Saturday, so many humans had never watched a college basketball game together in one place before.

With lawsuits, unionization pushes and outspoken players attacking the NCAA's outdated amateurism model from all sides, many wonder how long the current college sports setup can last. Broadcast and marketing deals continue to bloat the revenues generated by college sports, and now the players finally want a piece of the pie.

This weekend won't change anything — but could it be more appropriate that this year's Final Four is being held in an arena that holds five times the population of Storrs, Conn., where UConn's campus is located?

And could the outsized nature of modern college sports be summed up any better than this image of a stadium video monitor grossly out-sizing the actual court of play?

Session attendance is shown on the stadium video monitor during the second half of an NCAA Final Four tournament college basketball semifinal game between Wisconsin and Kentucky Saturday, April 5, 2014, in Arlington, Texas.

Image: Tony Gutierrez/Associated Press

Social commentary aside, however, they don't call March Madness the Big Dance for nothing. And on the biggest stage, don't be surprised to find the NCAA tourney's biggest talents make themselves right at home — no matter how young they are, or how late they've arrived to their own party.

Final score: Kentucky 72, UConn 65.

March Madness Coaches Be Like ...

1. John Calipari

Kentucky's coach on the sideline during the Wildcats' second-round win over Wichita State on March 23, 2014.

Image: Charlie Riedel/Associated Press

2. Bo Ryan

Wisconsin's headman protests a call during the Badgers' second-round win over Oregon on March 22, 2014.

Image: Jeffrey Phelps/Associated Press

3. Steve Alford

The UCLA coach reacts during his Bruins' first-round win over Tulsa on March 21, 2014.

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