Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Benn again

However, I still don’t begrudge her the chance to run for Parliament. Football fans are fond of saying, if you’re old enough, you’re good enough. When Ashley Cole was a mere whip-snapper, and before turning into an irritating, whining little diving prat, he managed to keep Silviniho, then a Brazil international, out of the side. And why nobody could deny Gareth Bale lacks experience, he’s also a darn site better than a large proportion of left-backs in the UK.

There's a couple of problems with this approach, and the first is to do with individualism. In a football team, the manager can pick the most suitable, most skilled individuals to play in the team. Hence, a really good young 'un, who has proved himself in training, might indeed make the team.

Contrast this with politics. There are places in this country where you could stick a red rosette on a stinking fucking turd and people would still vote for it, repeatedly: we know this to the case, because we have only just got rid of Prescott. In other words, no matter how many people claim that they vote for their local MP, most people actually vote down party lines irrespective of the skill of the candidate. You cannot get much further away from the fottballing analogy in this case.

Second, and very importantly, the footballer is not running in order to control the lives of every other footballer and fan in the country; the politician is.

Third, the footballer has to earn his money, by being skillful. No matter how crap, silent or appalling the politician, they still get paid a big, fat wedge of taxpayers cash as a salary, plus another great big wedge in expenses, plus another great big wedge in allowances, plus another great big wedge in the form of a tax-payer guaranteed, gold-plated pension.

If they are especially crap or corrupt, they may get voted out; however, this is only likely in the hundred or so marginal seats. They may get deselected by the local association; but, generally, the politician will have to have been caught fucking a kid whilst stuffing special interest money up his own backside for that to happen.

In other words, whilst football fans may say "if you’re old enough, you’re good enough" (a meaningless fucking phrase anyway), in terms of politics that just won't wash; a footballer has to prove himself at every, single game: a politician need only stir themselves every five years or so.