Two things the renaissance negresse she hate: 1) Wasting things, and 2) Repeating herself. Some time ago I got a request from a CD selling company to either pay to have my excess unsold CDs shipped back to me, or know they'd be recycled. I wanted them back, but couldn't afford to pay shipping, so they got recycled. Now, not too much time later, I'm getting notices I need to restock. Two of my titles have sold out, and I'm happy about that. What I'm not happy about is scrounging to package and mail CDs that not so long ago were in the warehouse. Spending my time, energy and money to redo something that never needed to be undone in the first place.

But I'm trying to feel better about the situation. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I lost the bed my late beloved gave me to an unpaid storage unit, and even that didn't bother me so much (because I know the bed and how he helped me carry it up to my apartment, even with his cardiac illness, is in my heart and will always be there).

There are lessons in everything, and what I'm learning is that the universe is showing me spaces where I'm lacking abundance, and for no good reason. There's no good reason the renaissance negresse she should not have ample stock and the easy ability to mail anywhere anytime. Ideally, I have someone to do that, on retainer. So, on the way to creating that is an opportunity to let go of resentment, increase my gratitude and appreciation.

So, I'm acknowledging that I am abundant enough to have lost not only a large storage unit of things months ago, and the bed my late beloved gave me, but also the CDs that were recycled and now must be replaced.

I am looking at the gifts of everything. Losing the storage unit freed me up to prepare to move and imagine myself making bigger moving plans in the future. I felt less loaded down by stuffs. Stuffs brings ya down, man. It's good to lighten the load every now and then.

And I am grateful for the opportunity to give myself what I need to be as abundant outwardly as the renaissance negresse she is in her innards. I mean, you know what I mean.

Just wanted to let you know I moved easily and pleasantly on Saturday July 26th, 2 days before deadline. I'm just outside of Philadelphia, and today got a part-time job working with books in a library in Philly, starting next week. I'm very happy, comfortable, and working on new and existing goals. Thank you all for your support and well-wishes!

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

"I see it as a political work just to tell my story. I feel there are a lot of people out there whose stories aren't being told, whose voices aren't included. For anyone who feels that, to stand up on a stage, or publish a book, or in some way just relate their experience so that people are aware of it, so that people can include it in their consciousness. And hopefully it will be there to influence thinking when it's time to make laws."

I just want to share 22 new videos with you (see below), and announce that the 1st 20 people who donate $100 or more (to: http://www.gofundme.com/bluqmc) by 11:59pm July 24th, 2014, will receive a house concert or musical appearance by me at a community venue, college, cafe, etc., of your choice!

I am raising funds to hire a moving truck this week to move me out of the house I was working at as a property manager. The house will be sold as it's taken over a year to find tenants for it, even with the exhuberant assistance of the renaissance negresse!

I am grateful to have received a call from a bookstore I applied to – interview tomorrow! It's in Philly, so that's good because it's here I want to stay.

I still don't know where I'm moving to... And it's stressful to say the least. I have been negotiating with some family and friends and hopefully will have some good news soon, even if it it may or may not be in PA.

But, meanwhile, if you donate, it all will be a great help. Either I'll have enough to just get a truck/movers, or I'll have enough to also rent a room as I continue job hunting...

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The short version: (Since you know the renaissance negresse she can get a little wordy :-) ):

1) I need to move, due to and under wonderful circumstances by July 28th and

2) Am raising funds to do so easily and smoothly. The end!

Oh, please excuse any typos, etc. I'm writing standing up at a library computer, very fast and in a hurry!

Long version:

Dear Friends,

The angels told me to do create and post this campaign forthwith. Or in a more technical term "real soonishlike"!

I am feeling very abundant, really doing the Law of Attraction thing, and getting into my joy and expectation.

This morning in my abundance affirmation meditations, I asked the angels, "What should I do next?" And they impressed upon me that I must post a crowdsourcing campaign as soon as possible. So, here I am!

In case you're wondering what's happened since I left Philly in August 2013 after the passing of my partner of 4 years Tom (heart failure after long-term condition):

Well, just a little backstory first :-)

*Tom passed away in March 2013

*I, who was already very depressed (I have bipolar disorder), went to a psych hospital for 4 days

*I needed to find another place to live very quickly

*I did a fundraising drive here and many of YOU donated funds which allowed me to hire some folks to move my things out and into storage

*I went to stay with relatives outside of Philadelphia, where I rested, healed, and ate, didn't go out much, and gained weight

*9 months later I returned to Philadelpha (May 1)

*I moved into a house in East Germantown with the idea of turning it into a women's collective. Several factors kept that from happening (mostly the fact that the neighborhood wasn't very attractive, the house was unfurnished and it was only me selling the idea. Much different than going to interview at a full, furnished women's house already finished and just needing one or two additional members).

*The landlord (my ex-boyfriend) decided to sell the house, as it had been over a year since he's unsuccessfully tried to get tenants for it.

The wonderful news is that:

*He and I were excellent examples of how the poly community works. Lovers stay friends and family for many years. We had already long since ended our romantic involvement, and were still close when we started to work together on this project. He's owned the house for 12 years and the previous tenants moved out in October 2013. I found an email from December 2013 where I said I'd refreshed his Craigslist ad for him as he was having difficulty keeping up with that. So, since December 2013 I'd been helping him try to fill the house. Telecommunicatively, I'd been refreshing the Craigslist ads. I am thrilled he is selling the house because he lives in NYC and the entire time I've known him that house has been more trouble than it was worth. It would be wonderful for the next person who owns it and lives in it. But for him and his traveling, active lifestyle being all the way in Park Slope, Brooklyn, it just was causing him too much stress. Things have been moving very swimmingly since he decided to sell it (first showing this Wednesday) and I'm sure it'll be a wonderful thing going forward for all involved!

*The picture you see is of me at Ahimsa, a 7-women collective household I lived in, in University City/West Philadelphia from 1990-1994, constituting what I often call "The best time of my life" in Philly. I realized today I easily manifested several places to live:

Ahimsa - which was from my lifelong commune-hearted dream.

Eden - Arnold Kauffman's raw vegan place in Lansdale, where I lived in 2007, as a work-exchange employee of Arnold's Way Raw Vegetarian Cafe and Education Center.

4) Had many phone and/or email meetings and confirmed the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series once monthly at Walnut Street West Branch of the Free Library, Philadelphia, PA. (September - December 2014.)

5) Had email and in person correspondence with prospective collaborators Matt Davis (http://MattDavisGuitar.com) and Toshi Makihara (http://ToshiMakihara.com) regarding my first musical conceptual album "Chlorophyll", which I had originally pitched to them in October 2007.

6) Perhaps most importantly: Maintained my counseling and treatment for my bipolar disorder and have been very stable for almost a year.

7) I've done a lot of work on visualizing abundance and knowing I can easily manifest a wonderful new living situation within Pennsylvania and very close to public transportation.

What I have not done is earn significant income for the standard required in finding a new place in a short period of time.

I am working on balancing my work and my income. Meanwhile, if every year or so I do a fundraising drive for basic needs, I feel that is alright. I feel my work year-round warrants the asking, and the many people who read this may or may not give, which is fine.

I was telling Matt Davis today that I used to feel guilty about needing to ask sometimes. Then I remembered my friend O telling me years ago that the most powerful people have the most need. Governments, politicians, organizations doing good work, they're always asking for money and lots of it. They just do it different ways. Politicians have their "campaigns" and this is mine! Support the renaissance negresse that she may move on to do more good work and become more stable along the way :-) I told Matt that I also feel much better because I think about organizations like WHYY and WXPN which are always having fundraising drive. I think of myself as I do them - we are all entities providing quality that a certain select group of the general population find important and relevant. This is why I also support individuals, groups, and organizations that support me in living my best, most authentic, empowered, and joyous life!

Oh,

8) I've made jewelry - clear quartz crystal wrapped necklaces on silk cords that I get so many compliments on I'm seriously considering making them for my renaissance negresse vending table at future events.

9) I've written lots, which you probably know already if you are on The Faceboks or The Twitters or ever visit my blog at http://cassendrexavier.com.

I am meeting wonderful people, feeling great, and I really believe things are going well. I believe on or before July 28th, I'll have people over, moving my things and driving me to my new wonderful home in PA. And that I'll be able to easily afford this new home. I believe! But the angels still wanted me to post this to receive. Believe and receive :-)

I am working on several projects and will be posting campaigns for them as well, which I welcome you to contribute to. But if you really want to assist me in my most immediate plans, and you feel that in the previous year I have provided enough value to the universe to warrant a donation from you, I would greatly appreciate you for that gesture!

My dream:

To receive enough money to pay folks to move me to my next new place. I would love to be able to afford this new place, but I also know the universe and Law of Attraction works in such ways that I could find a place totally free!

Let me share something I posted yesterday on the Facebook Group "Intenders of the Highest Good ~ The Founders Circle".

"This Karen Reid story is my favorite and I've read it several times in the past 24 hours to inspire me! I intend that I am now moving quickly and easily into a wonderful home in Philadelphia, on or before July 28, 2014, and that it come to me freely and easily! For days I've been feeling the universe conspiring to bring this to me, and I've been feeling myself allowing these movements as they come to me... Very exciting! So be it and so it is!"

The Karen Reid story is from The Intenders Handbook, by Tony Burroughs, which was given to me by Kate, the most recent owner of the now closed RockStar Crystal Gallery, where I purchased one of the crystals I wrapped and made into a necklace, and where you can watch us singing Affirmation Songs on YouTube: (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=rockstar+crystal+gallery+cassendre+xavier or http://bit.ly/W8gvfR)

"When I arrived at my first Intenders Circle, I was homeless. I'd been trying to find a way to scrape up enough money to rent a small place, but things just weren't working out for me. I was getting desperate! My friends who took me to the Intenders Circle told me not to hold back. They said that, at an Intenders Circle, "the sky's the limit," and that I should ask for my heart's desire. I made an intention to find a place of my own where I would be very, very happy - and I asked that it come to me freely and easily. It wasn't two days later and a lady who had been at the meeting called me and said she was going abroad for at least three years. She'd thought about selling her house, but it was such a lovely custom home, right down by the beach, that she couldn't bring herself to part with it. Maybe she'd be back someday, but, in the meantime, would I be interested in caretaking it for free?" --Karen Reid

I believe in those kinds of miracles and it's not just because I study A Course In Miracles (http://acim.org)! I have heard so many similar stories. SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy http://planetsark.com) once put out an ad something like "Fabulous Housesitter Seeks Fabulous House" and quickly ended up living in a mansion for free for a long time!

I don't know what's in my near future, but I know that it will be wonderful! (I'd initially written, "I will make something wonderful of it", but the universe is urging me to just allow and accept and receive wonderful things. That I don't have to just accept scraps and work so hard and suffer. There is a time for joyful work and there is a time to do what we must and there is a time to simply receive, and at all times we are to activate joy, however we can at the moment!

So, I'll be writing again very soon, but in the meantime, please visit my new website http://cassendrexavier.com and explore what I've been up to, if you don't already know. But if you do already know, I thank you for being involved in my art/work, and therefore life.