Nobody said it was easy.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

It's been almost a month since I've made a blog entry, and it's been 2 months today since I started making a true effort to be healthier. When I started on Sept 4, I recorded my weight as 208. But, when I visited my dr a couple of months before, my weight was 212 at that time. So that means, since my last "official" weight record, I've lost nearly 18 pounds! (I've probably gained 2 or 3 back in the past 3 days, but more on that later.) I've still got a long way to go, but I feel so much better and more confident, as well as more confident in my ability to lose another 35-40.

I actually kind of look forward to exercising, mostly in classes (Zumba, mostly) but occasionally I will go on my own or make sure I do something active. In fact, I ran two 12.5 minute miles with my teenage son the other day, I thought that my heart would explode but it was my personal best time, ever! He wants to start running a couple of times a week, so I think that spending the time alone with him will be a great motivator!! This week, I'm going to make sure that I exercise, in some way ,at least 4 days, maybe 5 (I've been averaging 3.)

So overall, the eating and exercise have been working, slowly, but surely. But, I'm sorry to say that I'm right now coming off a 3 day binge, triggered by Halloween candy. It started out as just a piece here or there, and eventually progressed to a full-on binge that lasted all day. Today, I made up my mind that since I had binged the last 2 or 3 days, I may as well take advantage of it and eat whatever I'd been wanting today, and start over tomorrow. Part of me hates myself for allowing it to happen, but another part of me isn't stressing over it. Yes, this week, I will be working to get rid of the same 2-3 lbs that I worked hard to get off a couple of weeks ago. No, I'm not going to like the number on the scale for a few days. Yes, I will probably spend a couple of days analyzing what caused me to fall into the downward spiral. But, on the plus side, although I am "starting over", I am starting over 18 pounds lighter.

No one ever said that there wouldn't be set backs. And it is unrealistic, for me, to think that I will live my life and NEVER have a few days where I just don't do what I should. I mean, come on, the holidays ARE upon us, and to think that I'm going to limit or deprive myself on Thanksgiving or Christmas is ridiculous and would be a set up for certain failure. So, my goal is to get back on track starting tomorrow, and to stay on track, at least until Thanksgiving. I will allow myself a couple of days where I will just enjoy food, family, and friends and hopefully do it in moderation, but not beat myself up if I don't. A few months ago, I would have said to myself, "Hey, T-giving is 3 weeks away. I will probably make a pig of myself that day, so I'm not going to bother eating well between now and then". Now, this mentality seems absolutely absurd to me. Instead, I pledge to enjoy the holiday, but I will be disciplined enough to stay on track until then and to get right back on track when its over. Same thing for Christmas.

I'm not going to obsess over the binging I've done the last few days. After all, I did still stick with my regular workout schedule, and even had an extra workout this week. I am going to stay off the scale for a couple of days, just so that I don't get too discouraged. I am going to try and squeeze an at least 1, maybe 2 extra workouts this week. I can't change what happened. I can only hope that when the next trigger comes along, I will have learned something from this that will help me to want to avoid it in the future.

Oh, one more thing, I'm going to blog more often!! I've been neglecting to keep track of my smaller goals and was really surprised to see how long it had actually been.