Terrifying stuff. The kinda shit that keeps you up at night later than your presumedly staunch substance addiction already does. Let’s not let Harambe be president, you guys. He’s just not fit for the role. It’s mostly the whole “him being dead” thing that scares me, but I also don’t like his stance on child imprisonment.

It’s time you quit stalling and found out who you should vote for in the upcoming presidential election. I posted a quiz similar to this 7 months ago, but this is a much more recent version that only includes candidates who are still campaigning — with all the fresh Gary Johnson your heart desires and none of that stinky old Ted Cruz.

Jared Borislow (né The DeVry Guy) is a writer and content manager for Total Frat Move and a 2015 graduate of the University of Wisconsin. He has been called the "Patron Saint of Butt Stuff" despite never having engaged in sexual activity of any nature until he turned 21, which he is still convinced is the minimum age at which you can legally have sex.

Comments

Do you live in a swing state? No? Your vote doesn’t matter. Vote Johnson and wake up the GOP before it’s beyond recall. Or vote Deez Nutz or fuckin Harambe. It doesn’t matter because you don’t live in Ohio or Florida

Even in Colorado you have the swing districts. I live in an area where the top party below Republican is Libertarian and there’s not even a democratic nominee for congress. My district is going trump regardless, you have to live in a swing district in a swing state for your vote to matter

Johnson is a fucking nut. Want fuckin proof? Here’s Johnson blowing the fuck up and going PC on the the word Illegal immigration https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-xlmU9LvtAs And then embarrassing himself on national television by not knowing what Aleppo is? Yeah fuck you

Did I say Johnson had no flaws? No. But I’ll take the free market, pro-civil liberties (like guns and privacy) candidate over Trump, who has leftist economic policy to go along with is unpredictable domestic and liberty policies. I tend to think government isn’t the answer and Trump wants the government to do everything

Johnson’s running mate bill weld is a heavy supporter of gun control and about the farthest thing from a libertarian. Granted I think this would have been the time for a third party to shine but the libertarians threw Johnson and Weld in which are far from what is needed.

False. He worked with a democratic legislature ,that had enough moderate republicans to have the ability to over-ride his vetoes, to pass bipartisan gun laws that were more pro-2A then they would have been had he not been apart of the process.