Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

*Calculates dosage of methadone: lessee...average human junkie weighs 130 pounds; we could double that, but that would only be 260, and my biker brother weighs 260....I'm pretty sure the elephant is even a little bigger than that...better make that a triple....*

Sloppy journalism, again ... that photo (tho labeled as "one that looks like this) is EXTREMELY misleading and inaccurate ... that foto is an African elephant, the ones near the China/Burma border would be Indian elephants, which are considerably smaller, on average ... prolly a quadruple (not Quaalude) dose would be enuf ...

lilrascal -- turtles, definitely ... some species of turtle (or tortoise) have been documented as living 120-150 years, while life expectancy of an elephant (in the wild) is approximately that of humans ... 60-90 years (depending, of course, on whether they practice a regularly applied program of dental hygiene and regular professional care) ...

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I'm glad they helped him before he ended up on the streets, breaking into people's houses and stealing TVs, selling blood for cash, and giving oral pleasure to strangers just to get his next "high."

Packaderm-a-aday habit! Monkey? I'm sitting here laughing so hard over this. I'm burning copies of a bootleg video showing the King's son (heir to the throne) of a country that is the native home of elephants.

Sloppy journalism, again ... that photo (tho labeled as "one that looks like this) is EXTREMELY misleading and inaccurate ... that foto is an African elephant, the ones near the China/Burma border would be Indian elephants, which are considerably smaller, on average ... prolly a quadruple (not Quaalude) dose would be enuf ...

Posted by: OtheU(manity) | 03:03 PM on August 31, 2007
Sorry otu, but you need to get out more. That IS an Indian elephant...an addicted one. It's tradition that once they get hooked, they get the bling tusks, a bit o' Bonds juice, and the ear extensions. Horton here's a Homie!