GQ Says: Pinkie Rings for Everyone?!

Yes, that’s right. To the bewilderment of the Bud Fox News’ editorial board, GQMagazine, in its November issue (yes, the same edition that’s pushing harem pants), asks men to reconsider the signet, or pinkie, ring:

Zoda Viola Gazola, Professor of Fashion Design at The Girls’ Technical Institute and College for Women, was unimpressed:

“An F-bomb inscription? Well, now, that’s elegant. You know, this rag of a magazine comes out monthly, so now the name is officially completely wrong. It’s not a quarterly. And it’s clearly not for gentlemen.”

Ima Pedagogue, Professor of Journalism at Northern Indiana Normal School and Business Institute, who has written extensively about the US fashion magazine industry, has an interesting observation about GQ’s pinkie ring recommendation:

“This magazine could probably do a better job of unifying its message. If you look through the archives of GQ’s Style Guy, who is their resident fashion expert, he doesn’t really give pinkie rings a ringing endorsement.”

Bud Fox News found the following item in the Style Guy’s archives. In Style Guy’s answer to a question about pinkie rings, he doesn’t sound too fond of them. Said Professor Gazola, “I’d stick with the Style Guy on this one. Say ‘no’ to the Vinny Boombotz look.”

Q: I am thinking about getting into jewelry and am considering purchasing a pinkie ring. I’ve seen rappers wear them, and though I don’t want to look like them, I think the rings are pretty cool. What’s your opinion?

A: Generally, I consider wearing a pinkie ring to be in roughly the same category as growing one fingernail long to prove that you don’t work with your hands; i.e., you are a pimp, a drug dealer, or a CFO. That said, I don’t mind my tweedy brethren who emulate that splendid friend of the planet, the Prince of Wales, by wearing a signet ring on their diminutive digit. This practice is especially acceptable if one has some sealing wax and a Zippo lighter in his pocket to authenticate and secure one’s correspondence. Diamonds are not a gentleman’s best friend.

Bud Fox News’ Silence Bellows spoke by phone to Joey “Two Times” Banaducci, erstwhile contract killer for the Trenton mafia who is now doing 20 years to life for the murder of Ralphie “No Nose” Jenks. When asked whether he wears a pinkie ring, Joey scoffed:

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"I wouldn't buy a used car from a university president. They'll say, 'We're making moves to cut costs,' and mention something about energy-efficient lightbulbs, and ignore the new assistant to the assistant to the associate vice provost they just hired." -Richard Vedder, economist

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