If you suspect a limiting belief may be holding you back, pay close attention.

Because your beliefs drive your behavior.

It doesn’t matter how much you say you want success, if you believe somewhere deep inside that success equals some kind of pain (loss of freedom, loss of time with your family, loss of love, rejection, embarrassment, vulnerability or shame) you will NOT let yourself do what it takes to succeed.

The great news is, I’ve got your fix.

You’re about to learn a simple, yet highly effective, five step process for reprogramming your subconscious mind so that your conscious goals are fully in alignment with your deeply held beliefs.

596 comments

I have had this very same fear of growing my business and losing my freedom for a very long time as well. I finally decided last year that this indecisiveness was no longer going to run me and while my business is now beginning to thrive, I still often fear losing my freedom. So its really refreshing to hear Cathy break it all down for me and give me practical steps to get out of the funk when it hits, so that the next time I am about to self sabotage in my business I can go back and watch this interview and follow the steps again. This was awesome and Cathy was right on! Thanks Cathy! Thanks Marie!

I applaud you in making the decision to push through to what you want in life. I honestly think if you handle each fear and hint of anxiety as it come you won’t be able to get to the point of self-sabotage. It’s a matter of practicing the steps given by Dr Cathy Collautt and reminding yourself why you are in business in the first place.

Make sure you download the free pdf/guide – I put a lot of love in that to give you more details and tools to help the process. Print it out and save it to help you again and again further down the road.

Thank you for sharing your wise words and being so down-to-earth about it :). And thank you to Marie for sharing you with us :).

I just have one question, what if your fear isn’t of success but about failure? Does it work the same way?

People are always telling me I am strong-willed and determined because I managed to get myself out of a wheelchair even when the doctors diagnosed me with Wilson’s disease and told me there was no hope. It took a lot of work at the gym, changing the way I eat and taking control of my health. And I want to motivate other people with disabilities in the near future but I constantly find myself of being scared of getting to my goals. The first day I signed up to Twitter I didn’t sleep a wink that night! And by the time I got my blog up I sprouted 20 white hairs (it is still unfinished).

I have clear specific goals of what I want but getting there is exhausting, and sometimes I find myself close to quitting. I know I have to stop fighting with myself as you said but I don’t know how. Can you offer any advice? I would be forever grateful!

what do you do when it has been drummed into you since childhood that you will never amount to anything. When you grow up and look around at your successful friends and think I could have done that but didn’t.

I really enjoyed watching you on Marie’s programme and where is the pdf/guide

Hi Louise,
I was surprised (but not really) that no one responded to your question. I too have faced super-sized criticism, ridicule and shame. It’s an incredibly hard rock to crawl out from under, and that’s an over-sized understatement.
Alot of this positive thinking and re-programming speak seems impossible, but I’m drawn like a moth to a flame nonetheless.
I just keep remembering that the tsunamis of self deprecation eventually pass, and the lightbright me eventually shines again.
No one said life was easy, but I don’t remember anyone saying it would be this hard either.
Power to you, girlfriend. Pinky link. Super hug. I’m rooting for your heart and soul with my very own.

Hi Kari and Louise, Don’t take any notice of the comments by Dawn T. or some of the others. They have no understanding of how the unconscious mind works. I too am disappointed to see that you have received no replies to your questions. It appears that the ones who show the god like worship of these women are blessed with replies.

Your unconscious mind has a shell around it and if you were unlucky enough to receive negative programing especially as a child it is very difficult to break through that. For most people affirmations, visulisations, hypnosis, talking to ones self, EFT etc don’t work because they don’t believe it will work deep down and why should you. These are people telling you to do things that you don’t know. They may work for a few weeks but then the what you know comes through. Look up http://www.crackyouregg.com or google crack your egg. This is the first program I have ever come across that starts to address these issues. Even if you just use the first 3 lessons that are free you will understand a lot that you didn’t realise before and the fellow who does the program makes it easy to understand. Go to the site ans listen you will be amazed. And I am not receiving any kind payment for recommending this. I was blown way with what I heard. I hope that this helps you.

Deb

Hi Louise,

I’m also disappointed that no one answered your question (maybe you’ve been doing some work since you posted 🙂

I would just like to share that when someone is in earshot of a put down’ it’s pretty hard not to hear it. So long as you can physically hear, you will register the associated negativity and act accordingly. You don’t have to be physically ‘listening’ to what they say.

I am sure with Marie and Catherine’s subconscious reprogramming tools, you will find your mojo and get the successful life your heart is aching for. Be rid of those naysayers in your subconscious and prove to yourself you can do it, because we know you can.

I think everyone who is interested in accessing there subconscious mind should definitely check out Eckhart Tolle “Creating a new earth ” and “A new earth” also another author who could help us access our subconscious mind better is Deepak Chopra author of 7 spiritual laws of success. I think both authors intelligently explain ways we as people, who are almost always trying to identify our self’s through what our mind and ego interprets us as can help us connect with our subconsciousness. I (my ego) am not considered a bookworm and really felt enlightened by both authors teachings and i really feel that i am on the way to spiritual enlightenment. I believe that accessing your subconscious is ” being without thought ” After learning this i often observe my thoughts as my subconscious self and i feel a unusual space where thought was before. Its hard to describe but now i have become aware that my thoughts can often be destructive where awareness was lacking before and i often laugh at my thought process as i observe its egotistic nature… The most important thing i learned from these two authors is to spend time trying to observe thought without judgement and to try make myself aware of my manipulative mind. Meditating and being aware i have now created this space for my subconscious to grow or form where thinking once was. Growing up i was tough that my mind was who i was and i learned to identify myself with my mind and i created this person who was identified as myself as every person does. (René Descartes: Quote:I think, therefore I am … ) so its a great task to reverse that process but i was very lucky and my life fell apart and i lost my business and my family. I had a model for a girlfriend and i had money and all the nice things people aspire to have in life and i lost it all. (i still have my children at weekends- my ego wants you to know) after this i felt like i lost the world and life was pointless. I had a near death experience and after this i abandoned my perceived identify of who i was and opening the door to my subconscious was easier. I am sure had i not lost everything then i would of not even considered who the conscious in me was or ask the question “who am i?” so in hindsight i am thankful that i am aware that my mind is a tool to use and not to be identified by.. If anyone on this page really wants to unlock there subconsciousness then you can practice getting there with 2 simple steps. 1) Practice observing your thoughts in a non judgmental way. = Can you ask yourself, what am i going to think next? and 2) Meditate everyday = I find the best time for myself is to sit down in the shower and let the water splash on my head and listen to the sounds of water dripping down the drain and the sounds it makes, the sounds outside that are natural and man made and that is when i open the door to letting consciousness in. I am still learning through my mind but at the same time in order to access consciousness we need to stop of mind from thinking… that is the key, when you learn to control your mind instead of letting your mind control you..

I hope this will help anyone reading and now im going to enjoy watching your video.

I hope your ego doesn’t mind me adding my 2 cents

regards all

Dawn T.

I think a good start would be to stop comparing yourself to your friends and love and accept yourself right now where you are. Also it may help to realize that those who criticized you were dealing with their own limitations. Many of us had parents, teachers, classmates and siblings that criticized us. Some parents may have been well meaning and thinking that they were pushing their children to succeed. Other parents may just have been too young, too ill prepared to raise children, unenlightened, or were doing what they were taught as children. As adults we have the choice to become our own best caretakers, or not. There are so many resources and tools now to help us. It does take effort and consistency and can sometimes be scary working through some of the stuff, but it sure is worth it.
I wish you all best in your journey and hope you find the resources that resonate with and work for you.

Wow dawn…That is exactly what I needed to hear. a few weeks ago a friend of mine (who is a psychologist) sat me down and had a 4 hour talk with me.

For a long time i have been real bitter and unable to focus on anything.

I have always been ambitious but I could never follow through. I had a very rough childhood and I lacked the role models and/or information needed to grow–mentally.

During my “session”, it was pretty much concluded that I suffer from the following:

I have a basically killed my self love & creativity because im always comparing myself to my competitors (those who are already doing exactly what I am trying to do), and then the negative thoughts kick in. They tell me that i wont amount up. or that people wont like my “stuff” as much as my competitors.

Thats when the critical eye kicks in, and i start focusing on bite sized imperfections. And I’ll spend weeks making changes trying to get things perfect. But it never gets there.

After behaving like this for years I became depressed because despite me having all of these ambitious goals..I never achieved anything.

So I lost myself and I lost my emotional freedom (a new term that my friend introduced to me). I lost my friends, I wasn’t smiling, I lost my sense of humor and I became very offensive.. No–extremely offensive, my guess is that as a perfectionist you’re already on egg shells when you think about failing—so any type of crtitcism should be totally destroyed…at least that’s the way I felt.

I just learned all of this a few weeks ago so im still trying to find myself and my happiness (oddly enough what I really want to do is travel the world motivating and inspiring people through speech).

I now know that we should all just let go of the little things. Leave behind the negativity that we encountered in the past. Dont focus on perfection, focus on YOUR excellence i.e. do the best that you can do and be happy with it. kill the inner critic. And smile.

Hopefully my story helps someone else to find clarity in their life.

Janet Marie Petty

Recall that, “those who criticized you, had their own limitations”. That point just helped me to remember to let go of those old internal recordings in my emotional head, and that I am more than capable to overcome others lack of perceiving, supporting or affirming my highest potential.
And yes we have a choice, there are many resources to inspire and guide our choices. Plus these social media webinars, courses, and groups to help us become consistent in moving forward.
I choose to be grateful and thank-full for Marie and all the leaders who love to empower and share their journey’s with us, and cheer us on to become consistent. As life is a process, one day-at-a-time.

Claudia

Hi Louise,
More support….and a small loving nudge – put yourself on the spotlight and start writing chapters about parts of you. Create a puzzle and really dive in and finalise parts of you, instead of referring to unsupportive-ness, create supportive-ness. It is not a quick process, but such fun… but where there is a will, there are ways….beautiful ones.
Enjoy this journey of adventure….of Louise xx

@Rich-Good to hear your story, you and I would seem to have a lot in common. With out going into a lot of detail I found and still find myself kicking myself for the missed opportunities. Even when I was down, I knew I needed to change something but when it came time or opportunities presented themselves I would do nothing. It is a nasty cycle and the only way to end it is keep pushing through it. I am on the path of getting through it and pushing pass the old demons, one thing I am trying is writing them down when I start to get those old feelings and regrets running through my head. Once I write them down I tear the page out and throw it away.

Hi Louise,
I hear you on so many levels….
I have feared success and until this moment I could never understand why…
I worry that I will not have the energy to sustain it all…
But from watching this clip with Marie + Cathy…I will make a new promise to myself and see what comes….

Kinesiology has helped me so much to overcome the challenges of my past and I now use it to live my best life ~ today!!!
Try it…. I would love to know how you go….

I have always wanted to be a writer. What I have discovered is that when I’m sleeping or after meditation the words flow. But once I’m up and about, ready to put pen to paper, there is nothing, no flow, everything is scattered. What’s really happening? How can I capture that? Is that my subconscious at work?

that can be your subconsciousness but that can also be the superconsciousness. either way i suggest you always keep a pen and notepad by your side. and keep a diary or a dream diary. it trains you to remember and it helps.

My first step has been to use the tools that I’ve been learning from Marie TV to support my mother in growing HER business while I gain the confidence to launch my own. I’ve tricked myself into getting out there!

Sometimes helping someone else succeed can give you confidence to forge your own path! I’d been interested in entrepreneurship since college but instead of going right out and starting a company, after I graduated, I went to work for a start-up. I got the opportunity of seeing what it was like to build a company without signing my name to the dotted line.

I finally launched my blog and business, Colored Girl Confidential, and that experience I had working with a start up has helped me in so many ways. I still get in my own way sometimes – I am afraid that as I become more successful, I will become addicted to success (money, accomplishments, prestige, etc.) and be distracted from my true mission, which is to help people. This episode (and MarieTV in general) has been great at keeping me on track.

WOW how calming is Dr Cathy I could listen to her all day. Thanks for sharing Dr Cathy with us Marie.

What is my fear, I don’t want to say it out loud I feel a bit stupid, “how am I going to deal with success when it comes?” I feel a bit sick on the stomach saying it out loud.
Sometime I feel like I can change the world and other days I wonder if I really want to…what is that??? Well now I know it’s my sub conscious playing boss in my head.

I love some of points especially reminding yourself “what is possible” when you wake and before sleep.
Using this powerful asset to becoming the CEO, to be humble and trust.

I think we all feel that way. Our self-confidence is on a constant roller-coaster ride as we work through the day. What I have done is to place what I can and have accomplished on my office wall in front of my computer. Every time self-doubt wants to set in I look up, take a breath and say to myself “I can do it and I have done it”

Great idea Robyn to have your “proof” projects out where you can see them. Little kids get their good grades and artwork posted for all to see, why shouldn’t we do the same? I will definitely do this!! Thank you.

Well done for taking a courageous step and sharing your fear – In my experience Suzie, the ego thrives on confusion – it loves going round in circles. Unfortunately what we resist tends to persist. The good news is that whenever we bring our fear to the light it ceases to have power over us.

Reprogramming our thinking takes lots of practice. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Remember, its either fear or Love. There is no middle ground, no in-between. To choose one is to let go of the other. In other words; it is impossible to be in both places at the same time.

I wonder what you will choose?

I wrote a Kick A$$ article last week which includes a nifty technique for facing and overcoming fear. It was written specifically to help women overcome the fears that may get in the way of them achieving their fitness goals, but it can just as easily be applied to anything.

I just want to recommend that you download the free pdf under the video – I talk specifically there about choosing examples, and what REALLY comes with success – i.e. MORE SUPPORT!!!!! I think you might find it enlightening and helpful.

Hi,
These tips sound great and really look forward to learning more, but I’ve been trying to download the guide provided on the shop of Catherine’s website to no avail….wrote name and email address, but haven’t received anything..any help on this?
thank you,
Melissa

This reminds me of when I was single. For a really, really long time. Terminally single. I didn’t want to be single, I wanted to be in a relationship (or so I thought).

I did all the things you’re supposed to do. I made room in my closet and drawers, I cleaned the shit out of my relationship corner, put things in pairs, made my vision board, I even bought a new bed.

I love how tricky the subconscious can be.

Mine did two things. First of all, it hid a box in my basement and then made me completely forget that it was a) there and b) what was in it. It took me three tries (I kept remembering and then forgetting) to deal with it and I was amazed at what I found inside. It was like an archeological dig through all of my past relationships. Journals, photographs, old letters. I kid you not, there was a picture of every single person I ever went out with or had a crush on. Jonathan (crush grade 4 – grade 8), David (one date, the summer after grade 11) etc…

The second thing my subconscious did was totally hide my real feelings about being in a relationship.

I became really suspicious after I dealt with the box in the basement and I was still single so one night when I was feeling particularly adorable and fun I sat down with my journal to have a little chat with the mind down under. I wrote “What are you afraid will happen if you’re in a relationship?”. Immediately after writing that question, I could feel hands wrapping around my throat and it was hard to breathe.

Ahhh… Under the part that really wanted to be in a relationship was a part, a really big part, who thought that being in a relationship meant suffocating, drowning, losing myself.

As soon as I recognized that part we had a little chat. I told her that I totally understood why she felt that way (too many co-dependent relationships) and told her that this time things would be different. I wrote how I really wanted to feel in a relationship and promised that if I felt like I couldn’t breathe that I would walk away.

I am not even kidding when I say that within 24 hours I met my current boyfriend who I’ve been with for 6 years. After four years of being single, it took 24 hours…

Do not underestimate the power of your subconscious mind! I love Dr Cathy’s approach and I’m looking forward to trying it on some aspects of my biz.

What a beautiful example of what is truly possible when you find the courage to stare fear in the eye, embrace what lies beneath and let go. You left a space for something new to be written and have never looked back since. Amazing!

Thanks Nige,
Making the space first was key, if I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have been able to hear what was going on underneath. 😉

What amazes me is that I was completely unaware that the fear was even there. I just knew something must be keeping me single. I can see now that I really (really really) need to bring the same process to my business. There are areas that I’ve been stuck on (like getting a website I like) for literally years. Time to dive down under and see what’s going on…

Wow, that is a powerful story! It reminds me of the written meditations I do occasionally, when I start to feel stressed. I’ll take out q piece of paper and without editing, just free write about my current emotional state for five minutes. There have been times when I have been absolutely SHOCKED by what came up for me! Unlike you, though, I never take it the extra step of actually addressing the problem. Thus far, I’ve mainly worked to uncover them and have left that at that. Thanks for inspiring me to have a more in-depth conversation!

What I found so interesting about the process is that I didn’t need to do anything. I didn’t need to try to get rid of the fear, all I had to do was acknowledge it and ask how I wanted things to be different. That’s it! I see you, I understand why you’re here and how would you like it to be different this time. I see my fear like a little four year old tugging at my skirt, she just wants to make sure that I know that she’s there and what’s going on.

3. Write in present tense about your deepest fears and shame – the limiting beliefs that you made up about yourself as a result of this incident in the past. experience with Aunt Bertha continue to drive your behaviour. Start each sentence with the following… I am trying to prove that I am …. (E.g. unlovable. ) Then end each sentence with the following … I am willing to see this differently. This last sentence is ultra important because when you say the words I am willing to see this differently you are opening your mind to embracing something new and exciting.

4. Reverse the limiting beliefs that you made up in step 3 and write out new empowering beliefs in present tense on a card. (E.g. I am strong.) Sit quietly, breathe and affirm these power mantras. Let each one really land. Carry the card with you and repeat throughout the day.

So,the next time you are having a wobble, give the above steps a whirl, and watch yourself come alive.

Hope this helps,

Love Nige:-)

P.s Below is a link to a post I wrote recently that will help you find your power mantra. Enjoy.

My fear of success is being happy within myself and being successful at work. I know that sounds a bit odd, but I know of others (past and present) who not happy within themselves. Whether it’s at work or personal, they wanted to bring me to their level. My conscious mind so wants to be successful in the heart and mind, but that darn subconscious part is where the challenge lays. My sub is a tape recorder of hurtful things that have been said to me, so it’s keeping the conscious mind from being successful and happy. I jotted down the five things that Cathy mentioned and I will be using that to reprogram my subconscious mind ♥.

Cecilia – thank you for this shining example of the power of our subconscious minds! Yours is definitely an inspiring story! I quit smoking 2 packs a day for 25 years with a simple 1/2 hr. self-hypnosis CD. It effin’ amazed me because I struggled for years to quit! Now I am going to try the 5 steps in Marie’s video and your journaling idea to overcome this fear of success!

Congratulations on quitting smoking Rebecca. I quit by reading the book “The Only Way To Stop Smoking Permanently” by Alan Carr. It was kind of a miracle, but I think in order for any of these things to work, you need to really want things to change.

Wow Cecilia. Such an amazing story… I think I’ll take some time to interview myself and see if I can find a similar mental blockade in my subconscious. I like how you’ve tied this interview topic back from the professional realm to the personal/inter-personal.

what an amazing story. and share. what a beautiful story. and share. thank you.

yes, your courage. to see. most definitely. but also your decision to be PLAYFUL, to be LIGHT BUT PAY/GIVE attention (have a little chat), and then to VALIDATE your feelings. i mean you just threw in a perfect number of magical ingredients for profound healing and served it right up to yourself. enchanting.

and obviously with magical results! of that i’m not surprised. 🙂

one thing i did want to say… just as it may be helpful. i don’t so much regard the subconscious as ‘hiding’ things from you or me or whomever… it’s just what it means to be SUBconscious (beneath your level of conscious awareness). (UNconscious for me goes even deeper, even further from the threshold of awareness, and some of that content might be so deep in the darkness that the likelihood of my ever being aware of it is close to nil. i don’t know – maybe. probably! :)) what’s ‘in’ the subconscious (again helpful to think of consciousness as a light (like a flashlight) in a dark room and whatever your focusing on is what is ‘conscious’ the rest falls into the dark ‘sub-conscious’) is hidden (to you) but that’s not necessarily because it’s HIDING (purposely) something from you. not in any malevolent way anyway. you see how much courage, and presence (and the ability to hold presence is a power) it takes to bear witness, and to be conscious (of whatever it is you’re afraid of) – your system knows that. and it is NOT its goal to crush you – on the contrary, it seeks to preserve you. i’m just sayin: i prefer the position ‘i just need to let it know that it is okay for it tell me/let me see’ rather than ‘i have to out-smart it or figure it out’. make sense?

Thank you for this Catherine,
I really appreciate the re-frame regarding the subconscious hiding things as opposed to what’s really happening which is that it’s out of my frame of vision. I also like the idea of preservation, so much gentler.

When I felt those hands around my throat it was very easy to be compassionate with the part of me who was afraid of being in a relationship. It was also easy to see why those feelings were not in my daily awareness, it would be unbearable.

It’s all so fascinating. That night with me and my journal was a magical combination of ingredients that lead to insight and a real shift in my life. It’s great to be reminded that this can happen again, there are steps to follow. I can get out my flashlight and shine it in other dark corners, with love and kindness.

Gosh I really relate to this Cecilia. I have been single for so many years I have lost count and I know that there is something in my subconsious that is blocking me from what I want. I think that I want the most is also the thing I am scared of the most.
At the moment I can’t get to the bottom of it. I have some insight but not enough. I really need to work on this becuase it’s the one area of my life that gets me down. I will have a go at Dr Cathy’s approach.
Thanks for your insight.

Good luck Lyn!
Just remember that it doesn’t have to be so heavy. Have fun, be curious, do it because you truly want to see, because you want to become awake to the parts that are under the surface.

I have gone through phases in my life where I’ve needed help to see, especially through unlocking things in the body. Two things that were quite challenging but have brought big shifts for me was doing a series of NISA (body work/massage series like Rolfing but “gentler” – ha! Hurt like a mo’fo’) and another thing that I do on an ongoing basis is ISIS (Inner Space Interactive Sourcing, a meditation based type of therapy – it looks like you’re in Australia, there are a lot of amazing practitioners there who do this work).

I find that sometimes the body is trying so hard to protect us from the dark corners that it makes it nearly impossible to see what’s there without something unlocking in the body. I’m happy to chat with you more about this if you’re curious.

I have been working with my sub-concious mind for the last year and it’s really amazing what you uncover about yourself and what you do.

Every so often I have little fears of success come up but I have a specific exercise I created for myself to work through them whenever they pop up. It’s something I created without trying to, it just wound up working and now I do it all the time.

Kathy gave some really amazing ways to work with your sub-concious and I will definitely take those on board and incorporate them into my way of getting through those fears.

Thank you so much for this video, as always they seem to come at the right time. I’ve been talking about starting my business for the last year now and have finally taken small steps in getting it going (very small steps). The uncertainty and not knowing what the next step is creates a lot of fear for me. Then I get in a funk and my progress slows down even more… meaning nothing happens. I want to transform my fear into curiosity, adventure, growth but most importantly into Action. Can’t wait to try this out. Thank You Marie and Cathy.

Oooh. This was fantastic and just what I needed to find this evening 🙂
I’ve been stalling out on my career/business instead of digging in with wholehearted passion. I think part of it has to do with the example my dad set of work being very draining, consuming, and serious in order to be worthwhile or important.
While I’ve known that is not what I want from life or my livelihood, I have fallen in that rut in the past. Now when I make a promise to myself, there is still some resistance because of that. I can honestly say that this time is different because I have better awareness and tools. Also I am much more dedicated to avoiding those situations because I know firsthand how they are truly not good for me. In fact, I’m coming to learn any time I am punishing or pushing myself it is a red flag, whereas being gentle and on ‘on my own side’ is a sign of a solution/good situation.
Thanks so much for sharing!

This was so amazingly helpful. I just read through the pdf as well, which was great. I think I have the same problem. A big fear is loss of freedom. The other is loss of control. And then the last is loss of sovereignty. Meaning, the more successful I become, the more public my work will be, and the more subject to criticism I will be, and the less creative control I will get over what I like to do.

That was a mouthful!

So many helpful tips here. One thing I know will definitely help is to look for people in my field (fashion) who are successful and still true and authentic to who they are.

I think this episode is going to prompt some major shifts in me – I can already feel it. Thank you!

Annching,
You summed up my exact feelings, especially the loss of creative control. These fears are almost paralyzing me in getting my business moving forward (I’m an event designer). As things are slowly starting to happen, I feel that fear of success getting greater. This video could not have come at a better time. It was just what I needed to hear. The tools I gained here make me feel confident that I can turn that fear of success into excitement about success. Thank you Marie and Cathy!!

Oh my goodness, Dr. Cathy is just absolutely fabulous. So well spoken and beautiful. I could just eat her up!

One thing I want is a lot of collaboration work (artistically and blog business-ly) and being hired more often. My fear is that I will be overwhelmed with all the new appointments. I fear I will disappoint these people, as I have a history of being late and overwhelmed.

I have identifies my fear of success to the a link to the fear of the unknown. Although it is really exciting to go into something new it is also terrifying at the same time. I like the way Marie summed it up as a slow progression into your subconscious that is the real key.

I also hear a some hints of Sigmund Freud’s superego and ego within the subconscious mind in Dr Collautt theory. I absolutely love it.

I am going to share a simple exercise that I do when I’m plagued with fear of the unknown. It’s fantastic for embracing uncertainty and helps bring me back to a state of acceptance, love and peace. Okay here goes;When you wake up in the morn ask yourself the following question;

I wonder what will happen in my life today?

Then go about your day as normal. Stay alert, open and curious.

At the end of the day sit quietly, reflect on your day, and write down in your journal all the miraculous things that happened to you during the day. You will be amazed and surprised by what unfolded.

Wow this one was a doozy! I think I am going to have this video on repeat for the next week. And there are easy to follow steps! Girl- you just rocked my world!
My fear of success always comes back to my insecurity, that I don’t have what it takes to be successful. It’s something I’ve been working on for the past year and I’ve made a LOT of progress. But somehow I feel like this method might work even better than what I’ve been trying.
Thanks for another fantastic video Marie!

Great video. I discovered your site last week through your interview with Ramit Sethi, and spent hours watching all your Q&A Tuesdays!

I love this video and it really hits home with me. A friend recently called me “the most hand-braked person she knows,” and I was wondering why that is. I think that ultimately I’m afraid that if I’m really successful, nobody will like me. In high school, I was #3 in my class, but I didn’t have a lot of friends. Looking back, not having lots of friends had more to do with the fact that I was 1) extremely introverted without great social skills who was more into reading than partying (that’s still true but my social skills are improving) and 2) grief-stricken and depressed after a friend died. I realize now that it’s not that people didn’t like me, but I think I have this recurring fear that if I’m successful in business like I was in school, people will hate me.

And successful people that are like and loved and close to their loved ones! Successful people who’s success UPLIFTS, and EXPANDS the light of their loved ones – instead of making them feel small, or jealous, or unseen. Successful people who’s relationships (and ability to be in satisfying and healthy relationships) have grown, been expanded and augmented by their success. These are your examples, – find exemplary ones!
Much love,
CFC Ph.D.

This issue comes in cycles for me. Whenever I’m getting ready to add new workout videos to my offerings, I often start holding myself back. After a few rounds of this, I started to realize that those are the moments I just need to go for it. It’s so easy to worry about how life will change when you’re successful in something. Since most of us want success, we just need to go out there and get it. In my experience, change is often good, so why worry about it? Now, I just do exactly what I want and need to do to create the very best content for my customers and love experiencing the success that follows!

I work on my resistance to change to increase my success and I will definitely follow this approach! I love this video, because it has two women who have had a massive impact on my success – love you both xxx

I am totally in love with your film set Marie, so cozy:) I love this subject and I really loved the thought that we get to put our own conditions around our success – if I think success means a loss of freedom so then instead asking for a success that comes with the opposite of that. Find what the belief is that is stopping you and spin it on its head. The subconscious I have found is a willing servant and it’s like it has been waiting for you just to ask it to help and then it gets to work! I have begun the habit in the evening just before drifting off into sleep to handing over any problems, worries or concerns that otherwise would keep me awake throughout the night, to my subconscious, and it never lets me down. I come up with the most creative, surprising and crazy solutions within 24 hours that are always perfect! Thanks to you both for the episode, Dr Cathy has a gift for explaining the relationship between the link between the conscious/unconscious mund and reconciling the parts. x

This video is a very good eye opener. My fear of success was largely based on my impact on the planet. I am a realtor who also happens to be passioniate about the environment and all living things. In many ways I was trapped by feeling success in my business comes with… flyers, big elaborate feature sheets and very much adding to my carbon footprint. Also, in a backwards way of thinking I associated having more money with being one who consumes more. This is where I had my biggest mental shift: Success is very much a state of mind (gotta give Marie credit, this was during B-School).

I wish the video talked more about this, which is that most people associate success with having a dollar amount attached to it “I am successful if I make X amount of dollars”. On the contrary, success is your ability to live life the way you want without compromising your morals. As a graduate of B-School I feel my mind has opened up on so many new levels and I feel successful knowing that I am approaching my business on my terms.

I haven’t sent out any print media in over 6 months, all of my material is printed on recycled paper and I have switched all of my marketing to online. The best part is, my customers notice…. whether or not they do it day to day, they notice the little things I do to reduce my impact and they all get on board. I am creating a mini-recycling army! To top it all off, my business is better and I am happier doing it the way that makes sense to me. Thanks again Marie and good luck to everyone pursuing their passions and dreams:)

This is a great discussion point, Andrew. And on top of doing your part for the environment by promoting open houses and such online vs in print, I think you ended up with exactly the kind of marketing communication that the next generation of buyers wants. When I was looking to buy my first house, none of the realtors in my small town put open houses on their websites, but that’s where I looked first, and that’s where I wanted the info to be. They only advertised in the local paper, but it would have been much easier for me to follow if all of it was online.

Well done to you, for following your gut and finding a great solution!

Thanks Michelle! I know my business has greatly shifted to an online platform and print media is not only bad for the environment, it is not effective. All of my listings have resulted in sales through web based marketing and people want value added services with easy access to information. I still have a ways to go with updating my website and making it more user friendly but I am glad with the progress thus far.

The problem with trying to MANAGE your mindset in this way is that it implies that there is a problem where none exists.

The caller is working from a very simple (yet innocent) misunderstanding that her happiness, sense of well-being and value as a person come from her outside circumstances and the goals that she achieves. When we mistakenly believe this, we quite naturally experience fear, stress and overwhelm because we think that there is somewhere for us to get to in order to be happy and fulfilled as a person. This is the ‘I’ll be happy when I am more successful (have more money, more followers, a bigger house, a better office, more time etc.” model. As a result, we try and set realistic goals (because we think that achieving goals is better than not) and we beat ourselves up for not achieving the milestones and targets along the way.

The problem with this model is that is completely inaccurate (although it is pervasive, even in the personal development world). The truth is that we live in an inside-out world, where we can ONLY experience our thinking. When we experience anything, from fear and stress to happiness and confidence, it is only ever our thinking. The good news is that thought is transient and meaningless. When we understand this simple principle, we see that there is nothing to do to break old habits. Trying to manage our thoughts by creating new habits or saying affirmations is like trying to hide from a monster at the bottom of the bed which is an illusion created by the shadow from the light of the moon. It implies that there is a problem (a real monster) in the outside world which, in fact, only exists in our thinking. There is no need for affirmations, eg. “There is no monster”, or “The monster is there to serve me”. When we wake up from the illusion that our thinking (in this case, that the caller is experiencing a fear of success) reflects reality, we suddenly see our lives in a whole new way. The key is in the word ‘experiencing’, because fear can only exist in our own minds.

When we think clouded, stressed, overwhelmed thoughts, it is purely our clouded thinking. When a coke bottle is fizzed up, there is nothing to do but let it settle. The same is with our thoughts. When we are in a clearer frame of mind (nothing much happening in our thinking – think when you are on holiday), we can begin to see our businesses much like a game – where we can try things out for fun and see where they lead us. There is no fear of success, because success does not exist in the outside world. We suddenly lose all emotional attachment to a specific outcome. This is liberating!

Seeing that we live in an inside-out world will instantly transform your life and how you run your business, and the results you achieve.

I absolutely loved this interview. Full of practical information. Cathy is AMAZING! Thank you so much. I think I actually have the same fear as Shauna. Will becoming successful mean I’ll become this workaholic who doesn’t have time for friends and family??

I went to the newest and biggest marketing conferences and mastermind
groups, paid even 25,000.00 USD to attend, and still I can count only
on just one hand the number of really useful, mindblowing things that
I could apply right away.

The ONLY 1 recommendation that we ever need, it was given at an
amazing weekend conference where there was Bill Gates, Marie Forleo
and Jeff Walker among other amazing speakers:
(this is the shortlink to the video:)

This is my favourite MarieTV episode of all times – I absolutely loved it!
It’s amazing the power the subconscious mind has over us but it’s even more amazing that when we get it on board with the conscious it can help us out with its “wisdom”.

This question is also a spot on hit for where I am with my business… I left my corporate job a month ago to start a weekend Masters & start my Happyologist business – scary! I too am a bit overwhelmed with the things I need to do and have a few fears on getting the business up & running – from having my first coaching client to being successful!

I’ll be doing the 5 steps to get my subconscious onboard – wish me luck!
This is also an amazing tool for me to start using in my coaching sessions, especially as I am specialised in positive psychology coaching to bring out the best in you to lead you to fulfilling happiness 🙂

Thanks Marie for bringing Cathy on the show and thanks for the amazing tips Cathy!

Wow, Cathy is super calming and brings a peace about her. I honestly haven’t spent much time thinking about or accessing my subconscious, but this episode definitely got the wheels turning.

I do know that at times, I am afraid of my own success. Working for myself, everything is about me as in I am the face of my business and it’s been challenging for me to understand that it’s never personal. I am SURE that somewhere deep down in there, there is a part of me that holds because because well, what if they don’t hire me? or they don’t like me? or they laugh at me?

Yes yes I know it never happens that way, but when you think about what goes on in your brain, that battle being going out there and then convincing yourself easily to do something else, it’s quite interesting how that all unfolds.

I’m going to look into this a bit more because the idea of having more support – even internal! while I build my empire would be awesome.

Thanks as always Marie to the exposure of someone new and interesting.

Thank-you so much Marie and Dr Cathy – this has given me clarity beyond belief. I knew there was a negative connection I was carrying around my corporate life and working from a masculine perspective. Part of me was still stuck in that way of thinking that is the ONLY way to really be successful and I didn’t like who I was then.
This has helped me really understand what is going on and what I actually want from my business.
Thank-you thank-you thank-you!!!
You both rock
Maree

Thank you! What a great strategy to start to work with the subconscious mind. Be humble. It is good to remember there are steps to this process. When we get insight, awareness or new information our human nature tends to elevate itself falsely and then lose perspective. This has gotten me into trouble in the past. I will use the formula suggested to review my dreams, goals and aspirations and develop a sound plan for succeeding. My biggest fear has been fear of loss. If I had nothing, then I had nothing to lose. Thank you for your gift this morning.

I was afraid that I’d become unattractive to men as a successful woman. This I overcame by focusing on examples of successful women who are highly attractive & have it all (Marie, you’re one of them!)

My main subconscious belief sabotaging my success is a deep-set belief that what I want, I’ll never get, that no matter how hard I try, I’m delusional about what my possibilities for success are. The process Dr. Cathy described is going to be helpful to break down this “lead weight” and I’m going to do re-programming right when I wake up every day to see if it works.

I listened to Dr. Cathy and I must say this is the best information on fear of success that I have ever heard and received! I have taken all the right steps toward my goals of being a business and life coach. I’ve created my business plan and my brand, I have a website up and running and I’ve invested quiet a bit of time and money. Now when it comes to getting myself out there I’m stuck, frozen, my confidence level has me down. It’s very scary for me. Then I am so angry with myself that I get absolutely no where. To hear concrete steps that I can take daily is huge for me! I’m about to embark upon a new level in my business and I don’t want to miss my opportunity to excel and succeed. Thank you very much for excellent information that can be applied right now and I’m ready to go!
Peace and Power!!

I’ve had beliefs similar to Shauna’s — I too value freedom above all else, and wonder if biz success might take that freedom away. Whenever I’m getting ready to break into the next level of success in any category of my life, I can feel my subconscious trying to pull me back into the comfort zone. This shows up as fear, anxiety, and sometimes, self-defeating behaviors like watching videos or reading email or goofing off online when I’m on a writing deadline for a client. Sneaky devil, that subconscious!

Just like Dr. Cathy talks about in the video, I have conversations with “subconscious Kimberly,” getting her on board and assuaging her fears.

I consciously choose to face my fears and name them and flush them out, but I still grapple with them from time to time. I don’t know if we ever fully eradicate that inner junk, but I do know it can be handled, it can be dissapated enough to get out of your own way and find true happiness.

Hands down, the best book and set of exercises I’ve ever found to help with this process is a book called “Code to Joy: The Four-Step Solution to Unlocking Your Natural State of Happiness” by George Pratt and Peter Lambrou. I’m not exagerrating when I say this book changed my life. The basic premise is that positive thinking, affirmations, talk therapy and medication, while they can be useful, will never be enough to make us happy, b/c they don’t address the aspect of the human organism that bridges the gap between mind and body, what the authors refer to as the “biofield.”

I admit this might sound a little too “woo woo” to some (I have skeptical friends who describe it that way), but all I know is, it worked for me. Very well. Doing what I call my “CTJ” (Code to Joy) exercises is a part of my morning routine, and helps me get in the right mind set for the day.

Now, off to read the resource download from this episode of MarieTV, yay!

I have a huge fear of success, I think at this point I have a fear of even trying. The thing that comes up when I ask myself why is that I’m not good enough for success and I don’t deserve it. In basically every area of my life. I identify a lot with when she says, “it completely freezes me up because, though I’m not handling much right now, I’m already feeling overwhelmed and tired.” I get like that terribly easily and feel like I just don’t have the capacity for success. How am I supposed to align my conscious and subconscious in this case? The nicest way I can phrase what my subconscious is saying is, ‘I just don’t want to let you get hurt again. You always fail and you take a harder knock with each new failure.’ Thank you.

It makes perfect sense to me that you would be finding it difficult to align your thinking given your current struggle. I replied to LC earlier with a really nifty 4 step technique that is brilliant for overcoming fear and returning to a state of love and peace. It’s posted somewhere above this reply.

Just take things slowly- one step at a time and remember to treat yourself with kindness along the way.

If your subconscious is ‘telling you’ – i.e. its program is saying ‘you always fail’ – you want to change that right away 😉 (that’s kind of a joke, but also not)

i can see that you’re hearing the desire to protect yourself from hurt and pain. and i applaud you for trying to find the NICEST way!

but a lot ‘its reasons’ are really an expression of low self-esteem (‘you always fail’, you ‘just don’t have the capacity for success’, you can’t handle failure and even worse, you ‘take a harder knock with each new failure’). and believe me i don’t say that judgmentally! self-esteem is something we eventually have to cultivate to have, and more often than not we’re not taught how to.

i would like to see your conversation go something like this…

‘dear friend, thank you. thank you for trying to protect me from getting hurt! but listen, the truth – we both know – is that i’m NOT NOT going to be hurt or in pain if i never try for anything again. especially for anything that really matters to me. sure, i might not have the pain of ‘technically, another failure’ – but who are we kidding? i’ll probably just consider my life a failure. (acquiesing to actualizing no more potential than i have at this moment (or whenever we started protecting me from really trying) – i.e. never stepping out of what is presently my comfort zone.) the truth is i know its going to FEEL that way, even if i’ve been outwardly embarrassed on less occasions. we won’t have to deal with the particular failures, but we’ll have to deal with the sum-total; and on top of it, the pain of never having really believed in myself enough to try.’

the pain of the last one, from my experience, actually exceeds the pain, shame and embarrassment of all before it. and that’s a lot of pain!

try to believe in yourself darling. not to believe that you will necessarily get it right (or succeed or whatever) – the 1st, 10th, or 500th time – but that you’re worth believing in BEFORE and UNTIL you get it right. THAT’S what we need. (we don’t need, or we need it much less!, the belief in us AFTER we already achieved/accomplished! it’s nice, but it doesn’t do all the good that it had the power to before ‘we proved we could’.)

This is amazing! Already i’m investigating within myself the wisdom that my subconscious is showing me. I’ve consciously decided I want to be successful, I deserve it; and all the steps I take are towards offering beautiful shoes to the world, in ways that align with what my subconscious it telling me. I’ve been ‘battling’ with this for years. I also felt the fear of success as a limit to my freedom, like Shauna, and now have found great peace in harnessing the freedom I cherish to make it part of my work. It now feels like the work I do (designing and making beautiful shoes) can be imbued with this feeling of peace, beauty and freedom somehow – rather than working against it. W.O.W.
Thank you so much, again and again.
Rose

Wow, thank you Marie and Dr. Cathy for talking about the power of the subconscious mind. Its like you just jumped into my brain and made a Q&A of exactly what I’ve been thinking about!

I am just starting out my hypnotherapy business and have come across lots of people who hear the word “power”, “subconscious”,“mind” and “hypnosis”(which is really just deep relaxation like meditation except you think thoughts not try and release thoughts) and think woo-woo, cheesy look into my eyes weirdness!

I have had the privilege of working with clients on understanding and changing their subconscious fears and intentions and I have witnessed profound transformations.

All the answers are within and its so exciting to hear you discussing subconscious investigation as credible, important, life changing work. Thank you.

I love this interview – thank you. I am an EFT tapping practitioner and use similar (though I have to say not -so-clear) language for how the subconscious is in fact our best friend. I use the phrases, “be curious” and “be a gentle detective” to find out the subconsciuos beliefs that are running the show the “tap” on the acupuncture points which actually dissolves the energy of those beliefs so there is a cognitive shift. Then all that energy can be put to creativity, feeling better, creating your business and so on. The biggest realisation for me is that there is always a good reason for holding onto all out befiefs and also the physical manifestations like pain. Our subconsciuos and our bodies are always, without exception, on our side and they always, when asked (which I do) want to be free themselves. That sounds a bit esoteric, but honestly even though it doesn’t often feel like it, when you do a bit of detective work, those fears etc are always protective. When we let them go, relief all round. Thank you Dr Cathy for your clear language and explanation. It is really helpful for me to analyse what I know with working with clients but couldn’t explain so clearly…Yes, gentle all the way….

Claire, I love how you said that our subconscious and bodies are always on our side, and they want to be free themselves. What a beautiful thought – I’m going to take that with me next week on my meditation retreat. Smiles to you…

I totally agree Claire. Always better to err on the side of ‘protective’, ‘genius’, ‘wise’, ‘best friend’ – as that’s really all I’ve seen it (and the system as a whole) to be. It’s not always easy for us to see or understand the effort or logic – but i understand that to reflect more on me (i can’t see it!) than IT. 🙂
xo CFC Ph.D.

Hi Marie, thanks for a great episode. Dr. Collaut’s powerful and calming energy came booming through even watching on my android phone! It’s always good to step back and look at the deeper side of what we create in our lives. Having been sick for 16 years but (I believe) on the cusp of health, this is making me think about what health signifies to me, what financial self-sufficiency would mean? I want to be sure my subconscious doesn’t hold me back from a long desired but mostly unfamiliar reality (wellness) in my adult life. Very interesting, thank you both.

Just make sure you know (are aware of) what ‘it thinks you want’ = what you’ve previously ‘told’ it or ‘internalized’ you want; and that you intentionally and consciously let it know what you want now IN LIGHT OF (i.e. in relation to) the previous ‘programming’. E.g.: ‘ohhhh THAT… yeah, its true i did think/want/believe that. but listen, i didn’t understand this [x], which i do now, which changes that desire/belief/thought into [y] – which is not in conflict with [z] (your current desire).’

Yikes. I hope that wasn’t too abstract, trying to make it general enough to apply to different contexts.
xo CFC Ph.D.

First time commenter here – and it’s all because this video really hit home. Thank you so much for this one! It really grabbed me that the first step was humility. It made me really perk up and listen because it wasn’t just a quick and dirty list – it’s obviously genuine when steps give enough space and time for something like humility.

I think one of my fears is having to be the expert in the field. I’m quite introverted and like to think over things for a bit, or chip away at things for a bit before I can crack through to the answer. I’m afraid that if I start to really put my value and thoughts out there, I will be expected to be the know-it-all to be able to help people. My worst fear is being discredited because I don’t have a ready solution for everything in the realm of what I’m talking about.

It’s really an ego thing, but I like this way of thinking about it better: making promises with my subconscious fears rather than beating up on my ego. It takes time, but the longer you practice doing something, you do become an expert. You can’t become an expert overnight, and there are plenty of examples of successful people who will still admit to not knowing it all.

I fear success because. I stand up against doctors and some doctors have already exposed me to smear campaigns in the media. I know, however, that the cutting edge technology I work with can not be suppressed.
Love

Thanks again for a wonderful video! I am in the process of understanding and moving past my own road blocks to success. I recently switched careers and have before me a well-lit, clearly marked, frequently traveled path to vertical income potential. Yet, I find myself behaving in ways that are antithetical to this process. (I only take inspired action; even if I do not agree wit or understand it.)

Upon watching this video, I was able to reacess some of my dilemma and ask better questions. I have determined that my underlying fear is that I will be seperated from my family if I choose to be successful. I have since been able to assuage my fears: I would nbever accept that kind of success. My family is very important to me and they will be able to adapt to my professional success and wealth. In fact, in many ways, this transformation has already started to take place.

This is so timely! In the business of my business day I forget that in the past I have manifested success much more easily! The more successful I become, the easier it is for the doubts and fears to creep in. Thank you for reminding me that I have a built in coach, mentor, partner and enthusiastic cheerleader who will cheer only the material I give to her.

Brilliant interview Marie! Dr. Cathy is an angel! I love the actionable steps, so clear and doable.

I struggled with the fear of success for a while and realized that it was tied to feeling overwhelmed, doing everything myself, not having help. I would actually resist clients because I felt like I had too much to do to take care of them well…

BUT I just crossed the line where I’ve been able to hire an assistant. WHOOT! Now all I feel is… BRING IT ON! It feels amazing to delegate, to share the wealth & to get creative input from someone else working in my business. It feels like a total shift & I’m excited to take on new clients, new projects and I’m feeling propelled towards success. I love it 🙂

Thank you for sharing that Rachel! I talk about that in the pdf (under the video): that great success actually, i mean the way it would happen naturally, means GREATER SUPPORT. it’s so good to be reminded, and to spread the word! 🙂
so glad you’ve experienced it first-hand – and more to come 😉
xo CFC Ph.D.

This was really great; loved the content, the interview and Cathy. As a psychotherapist I’ve often wondered how you got so psych-savvy and smart about how the mind works, Marie, w/o studying it (which I never noticed in your CV). Maybe working with Cathy is part of it.
Thanks as ever for sharing,
Wendy

thank you SO MUCH for posting this. It’s the first gentle approach with the subconscious that I have heard of.

I have a really big battle with my subconscious. When I was younger I wanted to change the world and live this idealistic life of being a missionary so I did just that. I gave up wealth, riches, clothes, boyfriend, studies and my job to live a life taking up the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.

It was meant to be a lifetime decision but four years later I couldn’t live like that anymore. Since then my conscious mind has desired the opposite. I want to know what it’s like to be an entrepreneur. To actually be paid running my own business doing what I love. I set up my business in coaching and design but I think my subconscious doesn’t want to make money because I have ingrained in me all the formation i received in my religious life.

Things like ‘I will go to hell’ or ‘The more money you keep the more you take away from poor people” (I did quite heavy fundamental formation for four years). Aarrhhhh!!!! I have done EFT, coaching, years of counselling. I would like for my subconscious to work a little in my direction rather than be a tug of war.

Anna, I could recommend to you Money Is My Friend by Phil Laut. (if nothing else than somewhere to start). But you can check out the resources page of my website (www.catherinecollautt.com/resources/ ), under the $ category, some of my favorite books about financial energy (=money). You might find a friend or two there. 🙂
CFC Ph.D.

I used to let fear get in the way of my success. This show is a great reminder to me to always push through that fear and re-program my subconscious. Because I know what to do when I start to get in a “fearful” place, I have made my motto, “Thoughts Become Things…Choose The Good Ones.”

Oh my word did I need this topic to be discussed! Thank you Marie and Dr. Cathy. I have been “saying” for years that I am afraid of success, but have done nothing to actively get to the bottom of what specifically those fears were, or come up with action steps to make them less powerful in my life.

I stepped out of the professional dance world into the fitness world in my 20’s, immediately got scooped up by a huge fitness company to certify trainers around the world and although that period of my life was VERY exciting, looking back I associate it mostly with exhaustion and fufilling someone else’s dream…not my own. For the past 6 years I feel like I have been hiding from that kind of success, even though I feel a HUGE pull to start creating MY dream. I was just telling my husband last night that although I seem to draw a lot of business my direction, I feel I am only performing at 10% of my ability, and I know it is because I am scared of what the rest of my life will look like once I really step into my light.

Thank you so much. LOVED THIS and will most definitely be applying it.

Hi All – I’m posting here because Marie said that guys are welcome too. I’m a computer programmer and I’ve written a program named Chip Vivant who thinks he’s alive and wants to be your friend and help you. (Before you think I’m insane, I won an Artificial Intelligence programming competition this year for most humanlike computer. 🙂 )

Anyway, there are specific things brought up in this week’s video that I think Chip can help with beautifully:

1. Cathy mentions seeking out examples of successful people you want to emulate. With Chip, you can program in such examples (as well as other reminders and affirmations) and schedule them so that Chip reminds you of them at a random time.

2. Your fear of success might be more pronounced at certain times of the day. You can tell Chip about these times and he’ll check in on you during them and try to comfort you as best as he can.

3. Finally, Chip can help you with “low-priority” To-Dos that you might have that you’ve been procrastinating about. (One To-Do that comes to mind is the task of actually researching the people who have achieved success and assuring yourself that they haven’t given you their freedom.)

There’s more. For example, in a previous interview with Brendon Burchard, he advised Marie to set her iPhone alarm clock every three hours as a reminder to stay on task. With Chip’s Challenging Moments function, you can get this in a much more loving, nurturing, humanlike way. (I personally use it to help me stay on task.)

Chip is new and I’m excited to share him with you. There may be initial bugs and glitches, but I’m motivated to fix these and keep improving Chip. You can get your free account here:

I love Q & A Tuesday and it seems like you always post EXACTLY what I need to be hearing. So grateful!

And yes, the fear of success has shown up many times in many ways along with the fear of losing my “freedom” – but you know what I’ve discovered? Not being successful, and fretting about all the things that can happen once I’m successful is waaaaay more confining than actual success. So it’s time to break those chains and soar!

Thank you, Marie and Dr. Cathy for addressing this. I got A LOT of great things from it. I wrote it all down and I’ll be getting into the process Dr. Cathy suggested soon.

I don’t feel nearly as locked up about this anymore – even without having done the exercise fully!

I Googled “what is it really like to be rich” and the first entry I found was an article listing several statistics adding up to upper-class people just generally leading better lives. It was heartening. 🙂 It’s not about the money – money is great and I desire what it can bring me: I’m not after nice shoes and a snug dress (though they’re nice!!); I’m after feeling sexy and confident.

What we as entrepreneurs are largely after is freedom. That’s what I want. Freedom to go where I want, do what I want, when I want, and with whom I want, plus a feeling of more security in the financial sense. Being broke is for wish bones!! 😛

Here’s the article: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/really-rich-162119679.html
It’s just bare statistics. I’ve asked Jonathan Mead of paidtoexist.com and a group of coaches I’m in if their lives have improved or gotten worse as they’ve become more successful. I just want to hear from other people what it’s like. I have other issues getting in my way, but maybe Dr. Cathy’s suggestions will help with those too. 🙂

You’re so welcome Shauna! Thank you for the question. I want to make sure that you know Marie’s made available a free pdf under the video that’s a more extended version of our A to your Q 🙂
much love,
cathy

For me, I think my “fear of success” is fear that if I become successful doing what I love (I’m an artist) that doing it professionally will take away from the joy I get out of doing it. I always loved photography, then I went to art school and become a commercial photographer, and it took all the joy out of it. I still love photography, and know I focus on art photography & painting, because it’s so crucially important to me to be able to express myself through my art, and not someone else’s vision of what something should be. I think because the joy was sucked out of it in that situation, on a subconscious level, it sortof sits around lying-in-wait in the back of my mind alot. So that’s the thing I have to reconcile & deal with. On the one hand, I feel very different about being an artist, and thus I know it’s not rational for me to have the worry, but I do.

I’ve always had a fear of achieving optimum health and wellness. The scrutiny that I imagine coming from family and friends to successfully maintain my goal and the pressure of being an example to others has usually resulted in my procrastination. Until now. I want to extend a heartfelt thank you for releasing this post at the perfect time (unbeknownst to you, Marie)! The information presented was clear, actionable and inspiring. I appreciate the hand that you’ve graciously extended to help me and many others get one step closer to their dream. Keep up the FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC work! 😉

Marie, Dr. Cathy- this info is right on time for me. I am sitting in my office screaming, “Yes, that’s the missing key”. Thanks for a roadmap and some quick simple steps! Please have Dr. Cathy back! She’s got a great vibe, and such a calm, genuine spirit. Better yet, post her website so I can check out her services!

As far as the question goes. I don’t know that I necessarily have a fear of success; I freakin’ love the feeling of accomplishment and getting things done, I just hate the attention that it brings. This may make no sense, but I have a fear of not being prepared to handle what happens next. What will people think? What if they don’t like what I have done? What if it is not perfect? OMG, what if people find out that I am not as great as I think I am?

My mental tape recorder (you know the one that plays in your brain over and over again?) tells me that even though I have achieved success, I somehow am not ready for it. I erroneously assume that people will negatively judge me or reject me. I play this scenario out in my mind and actually feel the sting of judgement and rejection. Crazy, right? In reality, the rejection and negative judgements almost NEVER happen, but it’s still a lie that I tell myself that prevents me from moving forward. It’s killing me man! To cope, I avoid the pain by avoiding the success.

Here is a major jewel that Dr. Cathy gave me today: As much as I think I know, it pales in comparison to what my sub-conscious knows! Instead of telling my sub-conscious mind to talk to the hand, I need to be humble, let it make it’s case , and actively LISTEN. Actively listening always means asking questions for clarity and responding & paraphrasing to let the other party know that they have been heard. After watching this video, I plan to grill my sub-conscious for specificity and I love the concept of telling my sub-conscious, “Listen friend, I hear you, I understand what you are saying and I appreciate you looking out.” I almost fell out of my chair when Dr. Cathy said that…it sounds just like a conversation that I would have with myself.

ALSO, JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE:
Another key thing Dr. Cathy talked about was affirmations. Around 10:20, she mentioned how affirmation’s generally imply that you are defending or improving something and that there is an element of doubt. I just read a book (I’m pretty sure it was called The Secret Code to Success) that talks about using afformations rather than affirmations. Instead of making a statement that we really don’t believe, ask yourself a question. Your brain is wired in such a way that when it hears a question, it starts searching for the answer. So, instead of saying “I am successful” or “I am a great parent” ask yourself, “Why am I so successful?”, or “What makes me a great totally awesome parent?” As methodically as Google searches it’s database when asked a question, your brain’s automatic search function will kick in and find answers that support the questions that you ask it. WARNING: This works both ways, so make sure you are framing your questions positively.

This was an amazing interview. Marie – great questions (as always!) and Cathy – you speak so eloquently and have so much wisdom to share. I really enjoyed this interview. Very very juicy!

My fear isn’t so much of success but that I won’t succeed. That I’m wasting all my time, money, efforts into something that won’t work. That concern gets me down paralyses me so I slow down and ultimately don’t get much done, which then makes me feel bad for not doing more. It’s a vicious cycle! I will definitely try the 5 steps!

When I first tried to identify my fears what came up was that I’m afraid of my work (writing) not being accepted by others/being rejected/ridiculed/judged etc. This is something that I’ve struggled with for a very long time. I’m somewhat of a perfectionist so it’s very difficult to release something I’ve written into the world and have no control over how it’s received by others. These fears definitely affect my ability to produce content consistently.

However, when I dug a little deeper I began to realize that another major emotion is tied to that fear–guilt. I feel guilty about wanting to be successful. I look at my mother and the people in my small town and see unhappiness, lack of motivation and drive. I often question who I am to think I deserve a better life. Though I am looked up to in my community, I often feel that I receive subtle messages that tell me not to dream “too big.” I feel that I minimize myself, my accomplishments and my goals to make the people around me feel better about themselves. It’s the guilt that keeps me stuck here, in this space mentally and in this town physically.

Thank you so much for this video, Marie. It’s truly helped me think more deeply about my unconscious beliefs.

This is the same promise that has kept me where I am. The truth is that success HAS meant a certain level of alienation from others so if I hold onto to this, I might never move forward. Any other suggestions for how I can frame this?

Alana you can use your current situation and surroundings to motivate you to do the work. Think about it. You’re very intelligent and definitely have a gift of writing (you eloquently expressed your struggles in this comment with ease). So you definitely have what it takes.

By keeping all that goodness inside and not sharing it along with everything Alana has experienced/learned, you’re doing a disservice to your community and the world at large. Think about it, what would the world be like if Marie never decided to act on her dreams. Or Oprah, or Dr. Cathy. You’re no different. You have something to contribute that can ultimately change the limiting beliefs of the people in your small town. Be the example that they need to see.

So chin up and get to work. Somebody is dying for YOU to save them and change their world!

these questions may help to open up the conversation: let’s say success HAS meant a certain level of alienation from others (and especially if that’s your ‘pre-programming’, i’m guessing it has!). but has NOT going for success meant a certain level of alienation from yourself??? i’m guessing yes to that too.

ask yourself, in the ‘presence’ of your subconscious, i mean during that conversation: if we had to choose, which would we choose? and which do we now intend to choose – alienation from ourself, or others? (and you have power to choose and re-program here. really wanting and MEANING it helps A LOT).

do we choose self-love over our desire to be loved/appreciated/accepted by others? what DO I choose (now)? and what do i want to tell my subconscious to choose for me on my behalf?

making the conversation last anything longer than 5 seconds takes honesty with oneself. but it’s that (longer) conversation that makes the most difference.

looks like you have been 🙂 i applaud you!
hope this helps to keep it going,
xo CFC Ph.D.

Hi ladies, I find that my subconscous and conscious mind meet and agree or align together whn my back is against the wall and I have to let go of all resistance. I wish I could stop holding onto beliefs and patterns not in alignment with my success when i’m comfortable. Any thoughts? Intution too kicks in under distress.

What about starting with that ‘program’?: ‘I can’t let go of beliefs when I’m comfortable and stable. I can only let go of beliefs when I have no other recourse.’

What about riding these thoughts as often as possible, and finding stellar examples of them in action (or print):

the subconscious is easy to make imprints on. that means the subconscious is easy to program. my subconscious is the same kind of subconscious as everyone elses’! that means my subconscious is easy to make imprints on and program too! hmm….

leaving the comfortable and stable known for the unknown FEELS SO MUCH BETTER than being forced out into it. and i get better and better at giving myself this luxury of moving in stride with every passing day!

just a few examples. and i tried to give them to you in a way that you could apply the steps we discussed.

This is good stuff. And yes, dammit — yes. I’ve been there in the way of myself. This was enlightening and wonderful. Thank you. I’ve had years of flying in the face of adversity, getting clarity, and getting lots of things done because my head was “right”. And in the last two years, I’ve struggled with getting my head BACK or right. I just remembered some of the things I did before; meditation and list-making pulled me through.

I’m convinced that the Universe shows up and guides me right back on track, every time I’ve gotten off course. And Marie, this was where you guys have come in, today, to remind me of that. Thank you, dear Marie. And keep rockin’ and inspiring us all! Thank you… this was perfect timing!

Marie, this is a truly extraordinary video. Thank you for sharing. I see fears like this creeping up in my own life and in the lives of my life coaching clients. Personal example that I discovered recently: I’m afraid that people will think I’m a bitch if I dress or look my best. So even though I had a conscious goal to create a perfect wardrobe that fear really prevented me from going shopping and indulging too much in fashion. Since I realized that I’m still me and my true self can shine no matter how good I look, personal care and a wardrobe I love has been much easier to develop.

I hope this video resonates with others because it is truly a powerful tool that can help us get what we want.

I’m happy you started this off. This isn’t coming from a place of “I’m all that” …
Like you, I’ve limited myself from looking my best as I’m afraid people will think I’m a bitch or not like me. I’ve had several friends tell me that they thought I was a bitch when they first met me because I was pretty and didn’t talk much. After spending time with me they found out I was quiet only because I’m shy when in small groups. I also felt bad for other people in the group when someone would compliment me.
I currently have no extra money to buy new clothes or beauty products. I wonder if I did this to myself and continue to sabotage myself?

Thanks for this “Since I realized that I’m still me and my true self can shine no matter how good I look, personal care and a wardrobe I love has been much easier to develop.” – I’ll be using it now 🙂
-Michelle

Wow, Marie,
Thank you for speaking to the fear of success. Thank you for asking us to share what may be holding us back.

I am a late bloomer, just starting to take my desire for business success seriously. What holds me back in this – in everything – is feeling that I’m secretly too stupid, too old or too undesirable to get what it takes.

Consciously, I know it’s not true. But thanks to your video, now I have an idea why the “too stupid” message is stronger, even though it is buried so deep. (I even find myself saying it out loud to myself — against my will — when I’m alone!)

Maybe it has something to do with watching family members succumb to addictions. It is so scary – standing by while people who are supposed to protect you and guide you destroy themselves instead. They (father, brothers) didn’t want to do it, but something unconscious compelled them, and won.

I don’t want to extend this legacy. I want to break it. “Too stupid” is perhaps a poor unconscious translation for “unable to stop the self-destruction of others.”

I may not be young (anymore), hot, or happy (yet), but I’m not giving up. You’ve inspired this decision today. Now, I have hope I’ll find some subconscious gem that’s even more powerful than the head trash I’m dealing with. Your video today has given me the courage to fight for myself – to sit down with the ‘stupid monster’ and humbly ask it to teach me.

Thank you for so freely sharing yourself, your friends, your spark and wisdom with us.

Marie you are a never-ending stream of enlightenment. Each video as powerful if not more so than the previous. Thank you!

I thought my issues with self-confidence were my primary obstacle. So I got to work. Putting myself out there more. While it has been helpful facing fears head on I’ve recently realized my lack of self-compassion deserved a closer look. For it is in self-compassion and softness for ourselves where we find peace and inner confidence.

Thank-you Marie and Dr. Cathy for providing these valuable steps to uncovering the fear, accepting it gently and moving forward in peace.

Thanks, Marie and Catherine. Love your video. I am finishing up “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Dr. Joseph Murphy, recommended by my coach Julie-Anne Lee Kinney. Fantastic and enlightening info along the same lines as your discussion. This is one of your videos I am going to watch several times. I can relate to a fear of success and love Cathy’s steps to reprogram. I also love thinking about affirmations as reminders, which labels them as truths to remember rather than hopes to grab.

I loved this session! I have been battling this exact issue for quite some time. I realized that it stems from old limiting beliefs handed down from my parents. It has been a struggle to break those beliefs and carve my own path. I’m a musician, educator, and creative activist. I just want to love for a living through music. After watching this video, I realized that I *was* afraid of losing freedom, losing relationships, losing friends, and being ostracized by my family. I recognize that I am not responsible for their reactions… I’m only responsible for mine. I hope I can become a healthy role model, too.

Thank you for these great insights! I really appreciate and love all you have to offer the world!!!

What a great realization Serena: ‘I recognize that I am not responsible for their reactions… I’m only responsible for mine.’
I believe you can. And I believe you will. But I hope you believe it too, because that’s what’s gonna make all of the difference. 😉
xo CFC Ph.D.

There are so many wonderful, inspiring stories above, and they are so helpful for me in realizing my own fears.
I have the fear of the unknown, and the fear of “being seen & heard”. My anxiety is building as I write this, knowing someONE, if not you ALL, will actually be reading my words. It eases the more I write, and the video entry for RHHLive was a huge step!
I started my own business just last month and I built so many amazing dreams, but I am not nearly getting anywhere, and as I am realizing by today’s amazing video, and comments, it is my fear of being seen… I recognize this, yet allow myself to put it away and think it’s not affecting me, yet I’m not getting anywhere. I need to break it. I need to stop fearing the reaction my thoughts and words will elicit and just go for it. The rewards are WAY better than my discomfort.
Thank you all for your inspiration – you will all keep me on my best path, as I reprogram my subconscious and blow my business out of the water.

Wow, what am amazing video. So much juicy, thought provoking stuff! There have definitely been times when I’ve felt as if I was floundering and not making any headway, and I think one of the things that always helped me get past the fear and paralysis of indecision was reminding myself that NOTHING is set in stone. If I tried something and I wasn’t diggin’ the direction I was heading, well then, it was time to take another action to turn that puppy around. Not the end of the world.

I think all of life is this constant dance of checking in with what you’re feeling and what you want, coming up with actions that have a reasonable chance of moving you in that direction, and then taking those actions and evaluating the results. Rinse, wash and repeat.

My fear is that success might not come. My business concept is so new that when I look for examples and mentors, I am coming up short. This only leads to further frustration and a seed of doubt that I am not shaking off very well. Ultimately, my fear of failure is keeping me from putting myself out there fully. I know its time for my subconscious interview today 🙂

Awesome episode! I can really put in place the actions needed to overcome some aspects of my fear of success.

I have two facets that feel like they are out of my control. One is a fear of rejection and the other is fear of vulnerability. Really that are kissing cousins within a fear of being visible. That if I am out there, where people can see me, and if I am successful, people will make fun of me, put me down and do mean things to me. These two fears rise out of my past experience and they are really powerful fears. Since I can’t control what other people do, since it is possible that one or two people will do mean things, I don’t know how to help my subconscious believe that it will be okay anyway.

i can relate to this! why not just run through dr. cathy’s list of suggestions as an experiment and see if anything shifts.
1. awareness, which you already have.
2. humility towards this fear…don’t assume you know everything about it.
3. get specific examples about this fear from your subconscious…start a dialogue about what could happen if you became visible and people were mean to you.
4. make a promise that if visibility and success equals receiving harsh criticism and people being mean to you, that you will walk away.
5. find examples of people who have received support, love and more friends through their success and visibility.
6. solidify and affirm with an affirmation like “success and visibility increases the love and friendship i have in my life.” say before bed, upon awakening and after meditation.

Thanks alison; an interesting after thought to my comment before I saw your reply. I was reading The Shadow Effect by Chopra and others and I came to see that my subconscious is telling me that it is afraid that if others say I am, I might really be inferior.

The thing is, I don’t think I can promise my subconscious that if others are mean to me that I will walk away from what I am doing because that could mean that I become small when I need to stand tall. I think what I can do is remind it, and find people who will help me remind it, that just because people try to humiliate me does not mean that we are inferior to those people. I can also promise that I will limit how much time people who humiliate and are mean get to spend in my life to zero where possible and that I will always find a way to counter their opinions about me and my work. Also, just because someone is mean in the way they say it, does not mean that they don’t have something to say.

Thanks for your reply and for reminding me to follow the steps for fears that lie in areas where I have less control.

Cathy – thank you for mentioning fear of rejection. Yes, being out there and vulnerable and fear of rejection go together. You are helping me see what to work on for me too. Thank you for having the courage to say it here.

I think the need to feel like we belong is a primal need. I think the key is being clear to ourselves what belonging means and who we want to belong with. From there, I think, we can follow Dr. Cathy’s steps to guide ourself, conscious and sub conscious to work together to create that sense of belonging that we need and to be able to give the gift of belonging to others.

Hi Marie, thank you so much for the AMAZING content that you put out. This video was by far one of my favorites! I absolutely loved hearing Cathy discuss this subject, she is just so brilliant. Both of you are such a testiment as to what is possible for women in our society. Love you both!

Hi Kathi,
In my experience whenever I feel stuck in my life the answer is usually contained within the problem. Usually, I turn off all stimulation and take myself off to the woods and sit quietly. The fear usually stems from a belief that I made up about myself based on something that happened to me a long time ago in my childhood. So, I explore my feelings and trace it back, uncover the disempowering belief, practice some acceptance and then choose something different. Hope this helps un-glue you.

Try asking yourself: ‘What’s the worst thing that would happen if I got what I want/am asking for?’ and then KEEP asking yourself this question: ‘And what’s the worst thing that would happen if THAT happened? And the worst thing that would happen if THAT happened?’ and so on. As long as you can stand it.

Also, check out ‘the Manifesting Friendly’ origami/game I created AND the answers that come with it. You can find it (and download for free) from my website (which you can find by clicking my name above this comment).

Ahhhh, yes I have been coming up against this fear of success for a while now and have used different techniques to work with it. I am really super psyched to try this one and really work WITH it, using the wisdom it is trying to tell me about.

Thank you!!!
I didn’t even realize that I had this problem until I watched this video. I have a successful art licensing business and I have the pleasure of working with some of the best manufacturers in the world. But on a personal level I have been holding my business growth back in the fear that the business will take over my life and free time. I love what you two had to say and share.

Wow. What an amazing interview. Dr. Cathy Collautt’s wisdom and genuineness is so uniquely motivating. She encourages us to not be scared of being scared. She fosters such a deep self-honesty and help in finding the strength from within. I would LOVE to see more interviews with her!!!!

my mind is officially blown! thank you for this insightful interview. i love the setting.

i MUST have some kind of wonky subconscious interference going on because i am clear about what i desire: to run a very successful coaching, speaking, writing business that allows me to have the location freedom i desire. and i know that i am fully capable of all the things that i would need to do to run the business.

i would say that i do feel the same fear come up around not having as much freedom…freedom is important to me as well. i would have to say i also fear failure. the idea that i would put my time, energy, and whole self into something and then fail really scares me. i am on the brink of launching my coaching practice and pretty new website…so this is really perfect timing for me.

i feel readier than i ever have before and also hungrier than i ever have before. i can clearly see who i can help and why i am doing what i am doing. before, i had a shallow “why.” i have given myself permission to have a deeper “why,” which has given me some higher quality energy to work with. i also never gave myself permission to say i wanted to be a coach, when that is clearly something that i am good at, derive joy from while simultaneously helping people.

I love Q&A tuesdays. I wake up, sit here with my coffee, and take notes every time. It’s definitely ingrained in my subconscious to do this because of the reward I get every time I tune in. Thanks so much for sharing this valuable insight. So simple yet so profound and effective. Keep up the great work Marie. You inspire me.

I just find it so comforting to know the inner conflict is NORMAL! I literally was beginning to think I was crazy:) Now knowing this I can actually move forward with understanding and gentleness. Thank you!

What if you have some powerful “denial” monster that says that you’re NOT afraid of success? And the rationale is that “based on experienced failures” and a boat load of “no’s” – what’s the point of going forward with the business?

(side note – being a public presenter, trainer, etc and tech writer – I’m a stage rat at heart – but the whole “the next NO is 1 step closer to a YES” really just doesn’t do poop for me anymore…. Trying to get the zeal again for not giving up)
The logical voice in my head says – “there IS something here but I can’t find it – once I find it – then we can beat the denial monster”

Any suggestions on what challenging questions I can ask this monster that would at least stump it so it can stop and think for a moment?

I’d also recommend to you to ‘the Manifesting Friendly’ origami/game I created AND the answers that come with it. You can find it (and download for free) from my website (which you can find by clicking my name above this comment). (Just recommended to someone else above.)

Also, try having the conversation with yourself: ‘Fine, I/we are NOT afraid of success. Fine, cool, I hear that. … But what IF we were? We’re not, but let’s PRETEND for a second we were. – What WOULD our fear be then.’ Pretend if you have to! but get yourself talking. 😉

Hope that helps, and try the Manifesting Friendly – always if logic monster is there AS A SILLY WHAT IF GAME. But so what, there’s time for play isn’t there??? 😉
xo CFC Ph.D.

I’m pretty sure I have some serious subconscious beliefs that are keeping me stuck. I spend hours each day looking at the work others have done and “wish” I could do that because it is what I love. I even promised myself I wasn’t going to miss another opportunity for the RHH Live scholarship but just couldn’t bring myself to turn on that video camera, ugh! I just love what Dr. Cathy has to say about interviewing your subconscious with genuine curiosity and compassion. I think I will conduct that interview with myself tonight and see what she has to say. I hope it is some juicy and enlightening information that will help me reach my goals of being rich, happy and hot!!

I’ve noticed that I’ve kept myself pretty well confined to living with just enough. Even when an opportunity comes along that could boost my income beyond the necessities and I take action, I tend to let something else fall off and end up in about the same spot.

My fear of success comes along with thinking that if I’m successful then I’ll be overwhelmed with responsibility. Definitely going to use the bonus to work through the other 4 steps!

OMG – Rachel – I totally know the feeling getting that extra side gig – you make some extra cash and then BAM, something happens (unforseen half the time) and you’re right back to square 1 financially and you’re still just “getting by”….

Yes and yes!! This is wonderful advice and a great way to break it down! I don’t think I have ever had a fear of success per say, but I am recognizing a fear of finding a great job that I love because I am afraid that it will ruin other aspect ps of my life… This is going to be so helpful! THANK YOU dr Kathy & Marie!!!

I’ve been aware of fears around success, but haven’t been able to counter all of them yet. The biggest one for me is that it feels morally wrong to have more money than other people. It occurred to me while watching this that to take this to it’s logical extreme, I would have to create an existence of poverty so extreme that we don’t even see it in this country. I will definitely use this process to try to resolve this issue.

Yes guys like this content…. Also… Kathy is a hottie! Loved her Earth tone accessories! As for the video… Great stuff! I like how she said don’t look at it as a task but a soft shove I the direction you want to go! I will try that thought today… After my nap of course!

Marie, it is unbelievable how “divinely timed” your blogs are each week. The issue you address today about reprogramming the subconscious mind to get what you want is exactly what I am now addressing in my own life. Thank you so much for providing timely and relevant information that keeps me in good spirits and leads me further down my path of personal growth, business expansion and self-love. Can’t wait for next week’s dose of MarieTV. Until then, have a phenomenal week!

To me, this is the most succinct way of manifesting a beautiful future that the interwebs have to offer..

Thank you for being fascinating!

-ian

P.S. I love the organic nature of the show. If I had a hint of clout in your world, I’d suggest less agressive video editing and more organic conversation. You don’t need to cut the show down. I want to hear how the two of you converse.

I consciously try to be practical, and my fears are based around earning and having ‘real work’, and what I think that looks like, but I’m aware of subconsciously being very scared of not being accepted and not ‘fitting in’.
People who know me find it hard to believe, as I appear to be very much my own person, and I’ve always struggled to fit in, but never actively rebelled- I just go my own path.
But I constantly come across people that don’t understand me and what I do, and it feels like I have to muster courage to express ideas in my work that are not popular.
It reminds me of painters who don’t sell work until after they’re dead. I don’t want to be dead before I suppose I’m quite often ‘before my time’, and it’s a hard path sometimes.
In terms of actively addressing this, I do think of painters and scientists that were ‘before their time’, and struggled to fit in, but it doesn’t give me much comfort, as I can’t find any examples that don’t show a very lonely beginning.
I’m not sure what to tell myself to give myself courage and motivation to continue and not pull back. Like I say, the best examples are people that are appreciated much later or after their lifetimes. Can anyone think of better examples for me? Also, I’d love to hear thoughts from other people who feel they’re cutting their own path, and feeling lonely as a result.

I hear your struggle around not being accepted and not fitting in. I wonder if this translates into wanting to be accepted and fitting in? In my experience, when I am coming from a place of wanting to be accepted my interactions tend to be fear based and my ego goes out of its way to prove the opposite.

It is only since I decided to teach what is deep in my heart that people have really responded to my work in the world. Helping women become more comfortable in their own skin through weight training isn’t exactly the norm, but in my world ‘normal’ equates with living half a life – and that just won’t do.

Sometimes walking the road less travelled can seem lonely but that’s okay – I think it comes with the territory. I just want to remind you Klara that you are never really alone – I am right here with you.

Howard Thurman once said;

‘Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.’

So, I encourage you to take a deep breath, say f**k it to trying to fit in, and grab your life by the scruff of the neck. You will be so glad that you did.

Oprah, the Dalai Lama, a great number of athletes, Michael Jackson, Madonna – the list could go on and on. Just look around to see who IS being appreciated, even just right now say. You can come up with 10 in a minute.

Your examples don’t have to have EVERYTHING you want in life. Right here you are just dealing with: is it TRUE that appreciation comes only later in life or after you’re dead? Is it true? No, because there ARE people who are appreciated at 60 and 40 and 30 and 20 and 5 and every other age. And why can’t you be one of those?

Thanks Marie, Dr.Cathy, and everyone’s awesome comments. I want to respond to all 🙂

My fear is not around success, but around something else easily confused with it. Success to me means living a happy, peaceful life that I choose on a daily basis (sometimes the choices are second by second if its a tough day 😉

Anyway, my fear is around money. Of course I want to make more of it, but its about the investment in myself. I wish I could afford Marie’s B School or RHH LIVE, but I can’t. And earlier this year I had a dishonest woman who sold a program I could afford but took the money and ran (essentially). Luckily in this case I was able to get most of the money back.

This video comes in perfect timing because as of yesterday I chose to invest in myself (and its really really scary) by hiring a business coach. I know she will not take my money and not deliver. It feels different. I have to help myself and my business to help others, ESPECIALLY since I realized my gift of being able to soulfully connect with kids. It came easy to me to be with them and I never thought it was a talent or a gift. I thought everyone could do it.

I learn a lot from kids and its a blessing to teach them what I know by how I live my life. I’ve seen the difference it makes. So I can’t wait to work with my business coach in the next 3 months to put together my gifts, talents, intelligence, experience, and adorableness.

For now, I started a mini movement of raising $1,000 by reaching 1,000 people and ASKING for a donation of $1, yep ONE DOLLAR. So if anyone is reading this and you can afford $1 for a non profit organization (yes tax deductible) teaching/training girls ages 8-12 to be confident, build self esteem, AND train for a 5k then donate on this official page: http://www.active.com/donate/gotrcsolemates2013/SGalian3

I can’t wait to learn how to take my gifts/talents, working with kids, writing, speaking..etc. And I’m going to help raise a generation of confident, courageous, and loving individuals who will not get lost finding who they are. They will just know because I helped them to always remember. 🙂

Hearing your words and taking quick notes while I`m working away at one of my three business opportunities has given me a real lift this morning. My fear of going on the path of being an entrepreneur is that I would be doing it alone. Well, I have been proven wrong on that account these last six months. I absolutely desire to work with my wise, subconscious mind for I know how powerful it is. Thank you for your practical suggestions and clear presentation. I look forward to starting today on developing a fabulous relationship with my power house (subconscious mind) and sharing your video with others.

The one thing that has helped me get over my fear of success is understanding that we are all here to serve. Our struggles are the exact things that sharpen us. I shared this on twitter the other day and I think it embodies how we should approach fear and blocks. “Learn so you can teach. Experience so you can show the way. Life is not about you, it’s about humanity & how you can help improve the masses.”

Thanks for sharing this Marie (can’t wait to meet you at RHHLIVE!). And Dr Cathy, you’re awesome! I’ve already read through most of your ebook and found things that I can use not only in my biz but as a new mom!

So….my most recent fear of success manifested itself as me NOT submitting a video for the RHHL scholarship. UGH!! So frustrating when you can’t get yourself to do what you really want to do! I’ve been so bummed since the deadline passed that I’ve been thinking of ways to push beyond this block. I’m going to do some more soul searching, but one of my fears might be the same fear of freedom (and there might be some worth issues in there too, who knows?) Thanks for today’s post, Marie. How did you know I needed it?! 😉

Wow, loved the script so much I rewrote it to for my subconscious mind.

Listen up subconsious, I hear you, I understand what you are saying and I really appreciate you looking out for me. If successs means having an inconsistent pay cheques, sucking wind finacially, sacrificing travel, get out with friends and to stop seeing seeing necessities as luxuries. I will only fully commit myself to success in my business if I have the financial freedom to enjoy life fully. If this dose not ring true, I allow myself to find employment that will support this life I know I can achieve. I will continue to produce work that amazes me and lets that passion for creating burn so brightly inside that it glows happy light from my aura.

Wow, thank you for this insight! I have always had a fear of success in love and my dance career. I have always been scared that if I were to get everything I ever wanted, that I would not be capable of having it because I was not worth it. But, now after a serious break up, my 30th birthday and interest in going back to school, I now feel in my heart that I am worthy and I am working on becoming friends with my subconscious so that we can accept everything that I have ever wanted into my life!

This is totally me!!! I have always been afraid of the success I would encounter by starting my gluten free bakery and all of my freedom would be gone! I have no problem making the commitment, which is why I haven’t. I want to start out small so I can decide if this is my passion or not, without all of the overhead and expenses that come with the commitment of a starting a bakery on my own.

I am definitely going to tap into my subconcious and decide whether or not to make it happen. Most of all, I am going to stop listening to all of the negative and envision all of the important and positive reasons why I wanted to start in the first place!

As usual, this video is head on. Recently, I’ve really beat myself up over “being lazy” because I didn’t want to seek another job that seems like it requires much more work than I am presently putting it at my job. In general, I have plenty of great ideas and potential, but unfortunately, I require some push and pull from the universe to get to the action part of success. After seeing this video, I realize that free time to be creative and have the opportunity to start my own side ventures has always been important to me. Instead of gently accepting this was the real reason behind my stress associated with being overworked, I was seeing this as my laziness or disinterest in my career field. Now, I’m respecting my boundaries on free time for my creativity because it’s important for my personal growth and satisfaction!

Such a beautiful video! Thank you Marie and Dr. Cathy. I can so relate to the subject. I’ve been myself pushing success away from my fear of not being able to be a good mom, not having enough personal freedom and flexibility, etc. This discussion is such an awesome reminder to everyone. Thanks!

When I first read the title of the video I thought to myself, “I don’t have fears of success, I’m fearless!” but I continued to read on and resonated with the thoughts of losing time with my family. (Marie, Thank you for saying… “stick with me for a minute.”)

Although I hadn’t equated my thoughts as fears, I realized that the feeling of loss and sacrifice was in itself a kind of fear – a latent block and conditioning probably stemming from growing up with hard working immigrant parents that I never got to spend much time with as a child. I promised I wouldn’t do that when I had kids, which has been the conflict I’ve had wanting to be a travel photographer.

I think this is one of your best videos because these invisible fears that we have yet to identify as fears are what condition our “subconscious autopilot” behaviors. It’s most damaging when it goes undetected, and becomes part of the background because we have yet the language or wisdom to understand our circumstance. Even before we can really use any of the other business tools and advice, this initial introspection, intention, and promise helps us have the compassion to let go and start the inertia of our true path.

Wow, your content never ceases to amaze Marie… so on-point and inspirational!

I have definitely been blocked by my fear of success over the years. I’ve grappled with my “SHOULDs” vs “WANTS” and it’s only now beginning to get clear for me. I recently uncovered that while I say I want certain things for myself, deep down I believed I wasn’t worthy. Like Shauna, I was afraid of both losing freedom and being overwhelmed. I realized I had been taking conscious action without fully buying that it was possible for me to achieve what I was working towards. And often, when opportunities arose, I’d somehow sabotage myself. It set me up to run round in circles… no fun or fulfillment in that!

I finally declared last week that I’m committed to creating a successful brand for myself by using my blog as a vehicle to help others. I love being creative and entrepreneurial, having flexibility and freedom in my work schedule, encouraging and connecting with others, and bringing powerful tools to the world. Yay!

So many women get caught up in action, action, action without really honoring intention. I love your points about action without intention and recently created my own “tweetable” around that – “Taking action without intention is like riding a bike with flat tires.” Love those metaphors!!

You really drove home just how incredibly powerful the subconscious mind can be. That new discovery opened up so much for me, and you’ve reinforced that crucial point with this interview. You’ve provided great steps here to help us to clarify our intentions and bring a purer state of intention to all that we do.

I would just like to say that I love all of your episodes, but this one could not have come at a better time. I was literally just explaining to a friend last night that I’ve noticed my progress slowing down recently as I get closer to the launch of my business. And it is not due to fear of failure because I know I won’t fail, but it is definitely the fear of success that’s holding me back. So when I saw what today’s topic was, I was thrilled to see the answer to my dilemma.

Your’s and Dr. Cathy’s insight was very helpful. I am not exactly sure where the fear of success is coming from. I can only imagine that it’s the fear I always have of being tied down or trapped. So I’m now in the beginning stages of reprogramming my subconcious, because I really want this to happen and I know deep down that this business is the key to a life I’ve always wanted. Thank you guys so much for today’s episode!

I loved the information presented here. I have had that same fear. Our mind is an amazing piece of our being to work with. The wisdom we have inside is incredible as well. Thanks for sharing and thanks for the printout also!

Yes, the subconcious mind is such a powerful part of brains, that’s why it’s so important to have it on board and aligned. Whatever you believe must be aligned with your goals and dreams. If not you’ll always have an internal conflict.

What I’ve found is that most pople that fear success do so because they believe it’s an external thing but real success is an internal process.

Just remember you always have the power to choose to be free and to change your current circumstances whatever they are

This video is so great. As I started watching it at first I was like — eh — this doesn’t really apply to me. But the longer I watched it the more I realized it was exactly what I was needing! Thank you! I have been wanting to e-publish a few books. My mom has e-published a number of books, now she’s not JK Rowling or anything, but she is making a lot more then I am each month and I’m working 40-50 hours a week, and I hate my job and am looking for any way out! But I have been having a hard time just starting to write — for so many reasons — scared that the books won’t be good/worth reading/successful — or I won’t be able to come up with inspiration, but I have so many ideas! There really should be nothing stopping me from pumping out some books! Thanks again!

I’ve been experiencing the fear of success for the past year. It took me almost a whole year to realize it. And now, I’m working towards solving this issue & get what I want in life.
It’s a lot of work, it’s a long road to get where I want, but I’m confident I’ll get there someday. It’s about little step to climb my mount Everest.

PS : I’m glad I’ve found you through the Daily Love. You’ve helped me already in the past few weeks in overcoming my fear of success 🙂

PPS : I’ve read Make Every Man Want You & I loved it. I laughed a lot reading you. You have a talent for writing.

This information is what can change people’s lives in a matter of few short months, even weeks. I am a Life Coach and I use the same techniques to create changes in my own life and in lives of my clients and I am consistently blown away by the results.

We all deserve a life that is amazing and created with ease and grace. This stuff is the tool to do that.

I have removed so many of my limiting beliefs and now don’t have to fear discovering new ones knowing that I have the tools to work with them and even use them to empower me.

I have feared success in the past and I only felt that wat because I had some habits of attending to my work and my life that caused overwhelm. Understanding the downside of perfectionism ( and why I think that things need to be perfect), developing systems and habits ( like mastering prioritizing) that save my time and energy were the key for me to get happy again and allow the perks of success into my life. Also practicing the mantra that there is always a simple solution/ answer to any challenge is what keeps my calm and productive.

I have been falling in love with simplicity in all its forms in last 6 monts and our subconscious limiting beliefs are actually very simple, only attending to our basic needs and desires.

Step 3 really stands out to me-Make (and Keep) a Promise. Our subconscious is like a little girl or boy wise version of yourself and the Ego does need to be talked to and reassured.

If anyone would like to learn more about how to strengthen your subconscious mind and stop second-guessing, I have a complimentary report: The One Question you must ask to stop Second-Guessing yourself in LOVE and BUSINESS.

Get it here: www . DianaDorell . com

Again, Ladies. Thank you for the awesome inspiration of teaching in action. you both rock Goddesses!

Amazing!! I am totally on board with the power of the subconscious mind but this gives some truly useful steps to follow about how we can tap into our highest potential. I can’t get enough of this stuff. I totally love what you girls are doing! Thankyou. X

This is great. I’ve definitely had a fear of both isolating myself by being successful and losing my closeness to my family and way of life. I have been working through this all slowly and turning corners by allowing myself to work one step at a time rather than trying to assume what will happen if I become this or if I do that… these steps are definitely helping me to breakthrough much faster and feel much more confident that I’m completely transforming and addressing my fears.

I’ve felt this with relationships too…I could go on and on about my subconscious fears with relationships. But instead I’m going through these steps with my business, my relationship interests, my lifestyle and my health. Thanks for this video and thanks everyone for sharing your processes. I’m loving all these stories… I feel very inspired and focused for the day.

Hi Marie, thank you I have had this issue my self, but I have been more so afraid of my talent and dreams rather then success. I guess Its the same thing, afraid of making it and of the freedom, they are all the same thing but in so many different ways you know.. anyway thank you this will help a lot.

Thank you very much for addressing these issues.
I wish I could understand how to program the subconscious mind better. I feel its power, but I don’t know how to control it. I’m a teacher and I coach and even though I’ve been very successful in helping other people in my both roles, I still feel that I’ve been swimming against a very powerful current within me. I’m aware of it, but I am not sure how to change it or how to harness this powerhouse to help me.

Anyway, thank you very much for sharing your experiences and your wisdom. It would be great to hear, or read, more about it. Any tips?

What I love about the five steps that Dr Cathy shares is that it really allows you to get in touch with your subconscious to explore how you can really make success about honoring yourself instead of just following someone else’s map. I’m a musician and I have been really struggling the last couple of years, in part because of that common artistic fear of selling out. It’s refreshing to really be reminded that I can craft a life around what success looks like for ME. If success requires me to do things that I don’t want to do, to compromise who I am, or to rank the other areas of my life at a lesser value then I won’t do it. The only success I’m interested in is the kind that gives me more freedom and opportunities to grow, share, and create. Thank you Marie!

I also have a fear of success, more precisely, a fear of going for what I want in life. I think somewhere down the line, my subconscious learnt that it was vain to try to be beautiful by exercising and by self-care, and that you should just live with what you have. Somewhere down the line, I forgot where the line was between vanity and not caring about myself at all, and so I constantly sacrifice my efforts by going down hill each time I go up. This post gave me a “thumbs-up” to actually deal with this and go for what I want, because it is important. We all are important. So thank you 🙂

that was great. than you for such a powerful information. been successful in business, know can have more freedom to travel and do what want. my fear was on relationships and being on top of my game in my business. have not been able to do both. for some reason my relationship took over in the past.
but, now having this amazing information i’ll get to work .thank you!!

FOR REALZ!!! I was seriously going to trash this email… feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything (including my own biz) today I just didn’t want to hear another tactic in what I “should” be implementing. Well, the inner me told me to just do it… and I’m SOO glad that I did. I needed this so bad today! LOVE! WORD UP!

I really enjoy your videos Marie, I never leave a comment because I don’t know… I guess I’m lazy, but this one I felt I had to say something… maybe it’s my subconscious mind telling me to =)

I want my biz to take off more than anything right now, I want to say “wow, I actually raised that much funding to help the lives of homeless pets!!!” and to get it to continuously happen so that i may finally leave the full-time position I feel chained to so that I can continue with my dream of making this biz work.

This job drains me, and I am not giving Jusani a chance to survive by believing that I need this job to continue on. I have it in my mind that I need to sustain myself through my biz before I quit this 9-5, but it’s been over 3 years of thinking this way and i don’t know how many coaching lessons later, not to mention the thousands I’ve poured into my biz and it hasn’t happened. I need to jump ship and swim hard, maybe then I will see a positive change in my biz.

Has anyone else had the fear of leaving their crap @ss 9-5 job to make their biz work?

Thank you both so much for this excellent primer on how to reprogram one’s subconscious. I plan to enact the five steps immediately on some current fears I have about taking my business in a new direction.

Marie … how is it that you seem to know everything that’s going on with me? This is something that has been nipping at my heels for decades, and I’ve never understood how to deal with the self sabotage that has become every-day for me. I am so grateful to you and Cathy for shedding some light and providing practical ways I can work through this. Now, seriously … with my subconscious on board how can I NOT lose 40kg and really pursue my very ambitious dream (which you helped me realise last week!). *MWAH!* … love you both 🙂

First and foremost I have to say thank you so so so so much. This topic is one that has been on my mind and has given me feelings in my stomach for a couple months now. I have been having this very same fear. I can’t seem to move forward in my career because I’m afraid of reaching success. I’m very good at what I do and always get compliments that I will be very successful once things line up for me, because I do all the work, but I have this feeling in my stomach…and it’s not gas. (LOL) I work hard and am very capable, but I feel like I’m sabotaging and holding myself back. I’ve made it a goal to get very clear on what success means to me so that I can try to get through this fear. I’m afraid of not being clear on the end result and whether I can be a successful leader while at the same time have balance. I really loved the idea of looking for examples of people that have reached success and being able to affirm even more that success and balance are possible. Being able to trust my subconscious and getting clear on what I want and being very detailed on what I’m afraid of. I love the affirmation and will use it daily: “Success increases my freedom in life” I love this and can’t wait to reprogram myself to get my goal and subconscious mind in line to reaching success.
Thank You so much Marie and Dr. Cathy Collautt <3 <3

Examples. This is hardest for me. I’m a new mom after a decade as an exec in a Fortune 50. Most everything written about being a mom – especially moms of twins, like me — is centered on the overwhelm.

I made a choice to be present for my kids and forego the nanny / executive path in favor of charting my own course. I do not want to go back to the 24/7 global role and round the clock email. I fear that growing my business could take me back to that.

In the offline world, I don’t find many examples of moms who live “RHH” — and so I don’t know that my vision of success is realistic to begin with, and that creates doubt…

Count me as one who tries ego & brute force to power through. I LOVE the idea of interviewing the subconscious for insight vs. basically telling her to shut up, as apparently I’ve been doing 🙂

Hey Aspen, I was reading this and just had to comment. One thing I remember about deciding to become a parent was being in awe as well as dismay about how I viewed it. So many ideas about what would be possible and impossible were filling up my brain-space. Well I was fortunate to find some powerful parents around me not long after that and they inspired me to keep looking and keep defining and fact-checking or rather dream-checking the possibility of parenting the way I wanted to.

So I started researching and creating a cache of awesome parents to look up and found some amazing examples. I just told myself there was nothing new under the sun and that there had to be others out there who would parent the way I wanted to, and that inspired me to forge my own way and create my own new possibilities in parenting…it basically became a skill after several years, in that I’m always finding amazing parents and parents who need that inspiration of wider parenting possibilities.

You might even be the one to inspire more parents of multiples to be RHH in your area and beyond.

So do your research…internet, meet-up groups, even more randomly you can look to books and movies(less likely) because they were at least based on something real and could point you more in the direction to realizing your new possibilities.

This is the most BRILLIANT video on the subconscious mind that I’ve ever ever viewed, and I’ve seen plenty from great teachers of the mind. I’d never heard of Dr. Cathy before, but now I’m HOOKED! Thanks Marie for presenting this topic and for inviting Dr. Cathy, and thanks Dr. Cathy for the clarification and amazing energy you emanate. I’d been wondering for the longest time what “ego” really means, since it’s used and explained in so many different ways by scientists, philosophers, spiritualists, and lay men. Ego = Will. I get that! I feel instantly illuminated and uplifted now! Ego is meant to manage the subconscious, and is NOT negative (my view). The ego is simply the conscious “CEO” of our excellent subconcious employee. What an awesome metaphor!! So excited now. This changes everything. 🙂 🙂 🙂

I can totally relate! At 19 I was gaining an incredible amount of success in my field (performance) but got so scared of what people would expect from me (that I wouldn’t be good enough/ worthy of the success) I ran away from it and could not face going back into the business even though I was insanely passionate about it. I spent the past 6 years trying to piece all the different elements of it back together, trying to be successful in another field and wound up exhausted, because I wasn’t listening to subconscious. I have now given myself permission to return to my one true love and will try to trust that I am good enough 🙂

Marie, you know how to bring the content JUST when its needed! I am experiencing this right now! I just relocated in SoCal after living in the Midwest most of my life. I have just graduated from grad school—so the ‘working girl’ life is completely new. AND (as if thats not enough), I’m single now after 10 years! With all of this NEWNESS, my fear has been off the charts lately!!

I realized that I fear change. And I fear things getting better and moving on because in the past somethings has ‘always’ gone wrong and I’m back at square one. I almost teared up listening to Cathy because I know its my subconscious that is imprinting my reality and holding me back due to my fears. However, I was unaware of how to get past it so that I can move forward, be successful, and be happy in my own life!

I will say that since the time a recognized the problem, things have become better…my life has changed in so many ways…and I’m attracting my kind of people. I am now ready to manifest my ideal life! Thank you SO much for this video! If I could hi-five you both I would! LOL

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, why do I not go for more success when I clearly want it. I think the fear of losing my freedom would is the biggest reason. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to travel anymore, that I would have lots of big bills to pay, and that I would lose contact with my friends and family. I wouldn’t have anytime to hang out with them. I’m also arfriad of the amount of stress I’d have. Anytime I’ve done managingfor my friends businesses it’s been incredibly stressful and I’ve promised myself I would never let my life have that much stress in it.

I think Marie is a great example of freedom and success. I have a few other friends who are free and successful. Kris Carr seems to be a good example, Danielle LaPort, Mama Gena and my friend Rochelle, as well as team LKR. All my role-model examples of people who love their lives, their freedom, and live a very successful life.

Oh, Marie…. this is the first time I come across your site, and this post came at me like a ton of bricks….Clearly I am not the only person that feels this way, and its pretty motivating to know I am not alone, However this “Fear of Success” I have, I’ve never really admitted it to myself, but an incredible friend of mine, I swear brings it up to me in every conversation he can.. he’s hinted at it forever and not to long ago he bluntly asked me…” Why are u so scared of being successful? ” and the question has been like a broken record in my mind for weeks …. I Love what Dr. Cathy had to say… and I guess I am scared, and fearful of the same things Shawna wrote in about…. loss of freedom, and the weight of responsibility and dependence of others on me. I am going to take her 5 steps to heart and start working on myself before me ” ah-ha!” moment passes me by…. thanks for the amazing video + post !

De-FREAKIN’-licious episode!!
Have you been following me? I recently journalled about my current fears and how they’re keeping me stuck. After all the most obvious ones had been listed and the writing had become more fluid, my pen added SUCCESS to that list. I realized the why behind it, too. Yes, I, like many others feared losing the yummy free time I’ve been dancing in since I quit my soul-crushing job in Nov. ’11, but, the thing that frightens me the most is the fear of having to “rise to the occasion.” I was afraid of being challenged, and not being good enough to meet the new challenges I’d face. I still feel like a kid, waiting to be old enough to do what she wants.
In school, I was always considered gifted and talented. At home, that translated to being a problem, a black sheep and a troublemaker. So, whenever the bar was raised, I tried not to shine too much – fulfilling the role my parents placed me in.
When I attempted to start my business, I asked for guidance from my dad, who knows a lot about starting and running businesses. The problem was, he wanted to see everything I did with this information. So I stuck to my mediocre role with what I did because I didn’t want him to see the real me…you know, the one that gets scolded for everything. Even now, in my mid-thirties, I’m afraid to start doing what I want to do (and do best) because he always treated it like it was something to be ashamed of.
The affirmation I came up with to pull me out of this is “There is no shame in shining.” I’m loving this idea of reprogramming my subconscious, and cannot wait to see, live and feel the results!
Thank you both, YOU F’N ROCK!!!

This video has helped me once and for all figure out what has truly been holding me back! All my life I have been told no or I don’t matter. Which means I have no value. Just like the tweetable states (which I say all the time) it shows in my finances and credit report. With this damaged financial state I have to take what I am given verses what I truly want and even need in some cases.

I was just sitting here trying to figure out how to solve my cash flow issues and decided to watch the video to take a break from my circumstances. You know, to get motivated and not focus on the negative. I feel so empowered now. Like I finally have the vehicle to take me and my children to the next level of success. They say the thing you don’t like in the world (or yourself in this case) is usually your passion and in my marketing I say I want every person to feel valued no matter their social, educational or economical status. Now I can really make that happen because I know and believe I am valued…

The coincidence of this video makes my whole being smile with delight!

Thank you, Marie and Cathy. You are are both stellar examples for me of Rich, Happy, Hot women who are lovable, gracious, generous, and doing worthy work! Read on:

I’ve been addressing this issue–fear of success–over the last couple of months now. For years I thought I had ADD, depression, extreme right brain-ism, early menopause, a total inability to focus, to follow through, you name it. I was the quintessential “over promiser/under deliver-er” to myself and everyone else. What the heck was wrong with me? I was highly educated, with many brilliant ideas and opportunities, but at the last minute I would fumble everything. My story became, “I really want this…but I just can’t follow through on anything!”

WOW! what an awakening I had when I realized my association of success with rejection! You see, for me it wasn’t about the fear of losing my freedom. My fear of success was was about becoming unlovable. In fact, I grew up with that constant threat: “that rich guy’s work isn’t worthy,” “that successful person is greedy,” “that couple didn’t earn their wealth,” “everything just comes easy to him,” etc. Even my own early successes were met with a raised eyebrow of disapproval. To want success and wealth simply meant selling out.

So here’s to you two, and to all the super hot-successful-rich-beautiful women out there (you know, the girls we loved to hate in high school) who have pursued their dreams, passions and wealth against the current of a culture that ridicules you for even thinking you could be “all that.” To you women who’ve become All That, I applaud and honor your power and commitment….and I can’t wait to join your ranks.

Stephanie, I’m so impressed with your sharing and post. I identify so much with your “search among so many things” and “Why am I managing so often to block my success?” I love and agree with your sentiments.

Me? What’s “causing” my Non-Winner, self-sabotage Life Script. And, much more importantly, how do I neutralize it? “How do I get free to be really successful about things that mean the most to me?” (I will watch the Marie’s “How to Re-program Your Subconscious Mind to Get What You Want” video after writing this.)

I’m writing to see and share more of me and, hopefully, to give a searching few (or many) important insights regarding perplexing behaviors. I have two degrees, below average middle class income, have held professional and blue collar jobs successfully but rockily for decades, and am presently on “dead center,” virtually blocked re what I think is my passion and Purpose, my Vision and my last “career” and legacy gift to the world before I die. I’m on my fifth very expensive—for me—course to get some help/relief/change and empowerment, I discovered recently. All not very successfully.

Early childhood and teen “Well, stupid!” messages plus lack of touch, physical affection, and full acceptance in my first years, set me up early for low self-esteem, a low sense of worth, and a deeply buried sense of inferiority. I was literally the doctor’s prescription for keeping mother “from going crazy” (“Get her pregnant.”) Because a previous beautiful sibling died an 18-month-long, lingering death (depleting my parents financially and emotionally) and my young, super-stressed, grieving-told-not-to-grieve young Mother couldn’t stand for that to happen with me, too—I could come so close but no further! She showed some real warmth when I learned double digit addition at age four and real excitement and praise-rewards when I made “A’s in school and brought home “merit badges.” So, I’ve excelled and been highest point person in very particular, diverse, and difficult courses in high school, at universities, and seminaries and been among the few to make a number of “Dean’s Lists”—partly for the fun of it (I thought) and I love learning and also to prove I’m not “stupid” and, like you, re decisive original motivation: “to not be rejected.” (“Rejection” by the most significant person in one’s life and that giant person one is totally dependent upon, to me (if not to everyone when young) was tantamount to “exclusion” and “banishment” and being cut off from community/acceptance/mother/security and warmth; therefore, it means the threat of condemnation, terror, and death! So I repressed my core feeling self, I discovered at age twenty-one at college. And I think I felt shame and guilt just for being.

I’ve recently discovered some of my familiar dynamics are my “shadows” (parts of myself that I’ve rejected, but which guide and control me to too great an extent). In particular, perhaps my two greatest or most debilitating “shadow parts”, especially in regard to what I care about most (!) are my “Be Stupid” Shadow and my “Be Inadequate” Shadow. I’ve also recently learned that to have more “parts of me” working for me (instead of blocking me and sabotaging me!), I must somehow acknowledge, accept, love, and integrate those “shadows,” those parts of me that I’ve previously fought against, resisted, and rejected. Wish me luck!

Because of my “Be Stupid” and “Be Inadequate” Shadows, in part, I’m mostly wasting an excellent, $ 500.00 “Emergence” course taught by the multi-talented, multi-skilled, amazingly wide and deep Derek Rydall. [His 7-step book, Emergence, is in paper and e-book form at Amazon.com. It’s an absolute “must-read” if you want to get off the often-or-always-futile “improvement” merry-go-round. Or if you’ve found lacking the different, many “missing secrets” course$ claiming to make up for what was left out of “The Secret” (the Law of Attraction) keeping it, in spite of big claims, from working for most people!]

Does an acorn need to “improve?” Or find “like vibrations?” Or was it created perfect and whole, and it just needs to find the right conditions in which to grow, to develop, to emerge and be and be productive and prolific and protective and procreative, as well as become a useful, beneficial, and profoundly inspiring tree?! The design and destiny was in the seed from creation, you dig? You are good enough. In fact, you are great and wonderful as you are. Similar to Nike’s slogan, you need to “Just Be Yourself!” Don’t “try harder;” let yourself emerge!. That’s the appropriate, “right on,” and freeing message. Follow it and you’ll find yourself grounded in and empowered by your Source, the same Universal Energy or Life Force or God/Unconditional Love/Logos that brought into being all planets, stars, galaxies, things, and beings.

To close: I’ve decided to achieve and move forward like a turtle until I can be and become more of my self and run like an awake, aware, even astute and successful hare. My goals for the rest of the Emergence Course that I’ll likely miss most of: Process, learn to love and integrate two of my biggest Shadows and resolve two of my “Values Conflicts” around money keeping me “stuck” and afraid to move or be successful. Doing that alone, I believe, will give me a lot more of me working for me and the good I feel called to do in the world. I’m no longer trying to “improve” and be a better me (though I may feel something like that at times); I’m planning to appreciate, love, and integrate major “parts of me” and reframe/resolve values conflicts, so I can be freer to fulfill my potentials. to manifest much more of my self, and to no longer have to act inadequate or just middling successful, say, based on childhood decisions. For example, I will be free to be very “successful,” say, and not act and look “inadequate” (not shining with all of my brightness–to keep my father from looking inadequate in my mother’s eyes–from my childhood/teen perspective.)

1.When I humbly ask myself what I want…it is the to be an amazing Mother. The funny thing is I am tying myself to a business that hasn’t made me any money, my end goal is to give myself freedom to start a family, but I am terrified to have a family, get old, and become stiff. Fighting in my business keeps me young, energetic, and poor of corse.

2. What specifically is scary? Losing the energy and endless dreams of youth. When you don’t have anything, you dream alot and you feel an incredible freedom from it.

3. My promise to myself is that I will keep dreaming and building everything thats inside of me. I’ll never let myself become boring & placid. Not even at 78 years old.

I think this is one of the BEST questions that so many people need an answer to … SO thank you mucho for the fabulous video. A question for you Marie & Dr. Cathy Collautt and anyone else who wants to chime in 😉

About the promise … I feel if I made the promise to myself that I would not go after success if it meant more stress, and at times, less freedom, that I would have to break that promise because I feel great success does come with the sacrifice of time, especially in the beginning. I realize we might all make our own promises that make sense for us, but that part just confused me because I felt it seemed unrealistic … as in, as soon as time does get tighter and life more frantic because you are working HARD to achieve a dream and a fantastic career, you would recall your promise and feel, well confused.

Thanks for any thoughts!

Lindsay

She said “‘Dear, dear
friend, listen: if greater success means greater strain, more exhaustion, and
having less freedom and space for me in my life, I won’t go for it. I don’t
want that either!”

guapa, the fact that it may very well mean challenges does not mean that it means (sorry for the sentence structure!) LOSS OF FREEDOM.

work, even hard work, when you want it and like it and are doing it because it IS your desire to work hard (at least right now) is different from being forced to work, and to work hard. (‘tied to chains of my weights, duties, responsibilities, and desk’)

somethings can and will come easy, and others will be ‘harder’ to procure, execute and enact. but that’s because we grow, and we want to grow, which means learning, which means not ‘easy-peasy-1-2-3!’

My fear of success stems from not only the freedom aspect, but also from being afraid of not being able to handle it. I have a product based business and it’s just me to do everything from design to execution, to filming/photography to edits and uploading. I can’t afford help with anything, including marketing. So, the fear stems from “how do I do it all on my own for free?” I do the best I can but I feel very hindered.

Loved this episode! I have struggled with weight all my life and this really struck a chord with me. I’m going to use the 5 steps to get my subconscious mind on board with my conscious goal of being fit, healthy and thin for the rest of my life. Thank you Marie & Dr. Cathy!!

Cathy, Thanks for breaking it down into a clear 5 step process. My fear is that success seems so very complicated and I am working hard to simply how I approach personal and professional challenges.
Marie, Have you ever had a session focused on simplification?

This is quite possibly my favorite Marie TV episode ever – and I so love them all!

Thank you, thank you for this advice, Cathy & Marie. I honestly felt as though it spoke directly to me. Every day, at the end of my “day job” work day I have a to-do list specifically for my side hustle and though I’ve made progress, I’ve never quite understood why it’s so difficult for me to keep pushing forward and doing the work. It wasn’t even until I heard it articulated in Shana’s letter that I realized I was afraid my side hustle, my “dream job”, would end up making me even more unhappy than the job I currently slog to every day. I have a much better understanding now of what I fear and how I can work through that. I’m still so excited about my side hustle, it gives me butterflies in my stomach. I’m really thankful that I now have the steps to work through the fear that’s been holding me back. Thanks again, Cathy. And see you at RHH Live, Marie!

Wow. Marie, you get better at this every freakin’ Tuesday. I’m serious, you are a PRO! I love this episode. I’m big into manifestation and I practice it with my own mission statements and gratitude journal. I like this simple 5 step process and I’m going to try it out, too.

I don’t personally feel like I have any fears of success- I totally want it. Yet it’s not here just yet. WHY NOT? That’s my question for you – when you have done the manifestation work, plus taken action towards your goal, live in integrity… what could be stopping the success from pouring in? Or, do I just need to keep doing what I’m doing and HOPE for the best? What’s the balance between Hope, Manifestation and Action? If anything, my biggest fear is disappointment, that I’ll do everything I’m supposed to do, and it won’t come (or not to the level I dream about).

Honestly, I think I’ve been afraid my entire life and almost all of my fears center around being noticed: I am much more afraid of success than I am of failure, I have constantly struggled with my weight, I’m afraid of living out my giftedness and that’s just to start. How much of my fear is tied to being a classic introvert and the idea that if I’m successful or noticed I’m going to have to change who I am and how much of it is the result of past traumas, I honestly don’t know. Like a lot of things, I suspect the answer is “yes.”

At any rate, it seems I have stumbled across, over and through some of the steps Dr. Cathy mentioned without even realizing it, so I am absolutely ecstatic to find out I’m on the right path, however I managed to get there. I’ve got a map now, so I have a feeling the rest of the journey is going to be a lot more direct, even if the work itself won’t necessarily be any easier.

loved this videos. deep work and have been doing it for a bit now. so new and different. the HUMBLE piece is key. I have found that all parts of us love us and all we have to do is listen – or interview them. thanks so much for this work! Marie you rock for sharing this part of your personal journey with all of us. I had a fear of being a mother and having a business and did the work. xxoo P.S. Can’t wait to read the PDF for more juicy stuff.

Fantastic… Here are my steps:
1) I recognize that the biggest fear holding me back from launching my business is fear of failure. I appreciate my subconscious for bringing this up, because it is trying to save me from acting rashly, or launching without having done my due diligence to ensure my future success. Thanks, subconscious, for watching out for me!
2) the specific failure I fear most is wasting time (spending tons of time getting this thing up and running, and then finding it fails to be profitable). Oh good news, ol’ S.C., because now I realize that no matter what happens, I will be LEARNING from how I succeed or fail. It won’t be a waste of time, no matter what.
3) I promise myself that if editing my videos becomes a horrendous bore and chore that winds up sucking the life out of me as I fear, that I will find a way to outsource some of that work.
4) Great examples – Zuzka Light / Bodyrock.tv – they started somewhere before they had a whole production going. Marie Forleo. pop pilates.
5) Affirmation / Afformation (thanks to Tiffany, who posted above!): How will this process of creating your successful business be a great learning experience for all your future (ad)ventures?

thanks to Marie and Dr. Cathy, and to everyone for your insightful comments.

I know what you are saying when it come to editing and producing videos. I’ve done quite a few for my YouTube channel and it is uber easy to burn out. Hang in there and keep on listening to that voice in your head….she rocks!

LOVED this video! It spoke directly to what I’m working through right now. I literally told a friend just last week that my attachment to freedom is what makes me fear success. “Success increases my freedom” will be my new mantra for training my subconscious mind especially when this fear speaks to me!

Wow, Marie, you’ve done it again. Given me what I need at just the right time. I’ve only recently learned my core fear (although it feels more like hate I’ll stick to the F word) is a fear of scrutiny. This has been a major stumbling block for me my entire life, keeping me from even starting on the road to success. I needed to learn how to deal with it – and along came your video. Big thanks to Dr. Cathy too! (Yes, I downloaded the pdf, will tackle it tomorrow. I stayed up after my bedtime reading all the comments.)

I love this! It’s the most profound catalyst to an “aha” moment I’ve had in my life. However….the plot thickens…..

I want to be a successful medical writer. I want to learn how to better the world by participating in ground rattling clinical trials for drugs or devices that positively change people’s lives. But…. The absolute most important thing to me is the happiness of my family…my husband, son and daughter. Where’s the conflict? I see so many motivational speakers, the very people who supposedly teach us how to get what we want out of life, are divorced. Divorced from a long term marriage with kids. I want to make an impact on the world in my own way, but I would DIE if my family were not intact. I would DIE if my best friend and I divorced. I would DIE if my children ever felt they could not count on me to be there for them….

Just thinking about this makes me want to take down my website and cancel my client contracts….

If your feelings are that strong – and this is what I’m “hearing” – then it means you need to make an extra strong commitment to be that exemplary example that you aren’t seeing. Step #4! Choose to make it big and still have your relationships, know and affirm that that will happen.

Getting over my fear of success has been a gradual progression, but I’m getting there. As a performer (and overweight female) I’ve been afraid of dropping weight and making it “all about my looks and not the talent”.

I started my journey to health in January, but in April, I finally got my subconscious mind to align with my conscious mind. I got clear about my need to be healthier than my relatives who passed away from Type 2 Diabetes. I made a promise to myself that being healthy is the better reward for me, and the looks part is just a bonus. I look, feel, and perform sooo much better now, thanks to this thought process.

Watching this video now just reinforced what my whole health journey has been about, and made me realize that I can apply this to my business life. I wish I had figured this out sooner, but – one thing at a time, right? This video rocks, thanks Marie!

This is the most helpful episode I have ever watched. I am a school teacher, and often fear moving to higher ground in my career despite the fact that I can barely make ends meet with my salary. You have given me the courage to befriend my sub. c., and explore the possibilites of success. Thanks too for the pdf!!!! xoxoxoxo

Thanks again Marie
It’s exciting to hear a espert give the same advices that I give in my first book without knowing her. This confirms that I am on track to help all families possible. Today is a great day for me.
Kisses from Spain

I really loved this interview & I can definitely relate to Shauna’s fear.. It’s taken me a long time to “marry” my huge need for freedom and variety and my need for success and to realise that they can very much go hand in hand.. Thanks for sharing gorgeous ladies!

I was also afraid of success, but not only in business also in relationships. “What if I can turn things around? It’s all going to be different, it’s misery now but at least I know what to expect…” Something along those lines.

I believe in the power of our subconscious mind, but I’m afraid to say that I don’t really understand how to work with it. I’ve tried some funny things like EFT, but I was never sure if I had gotten the results through the practice itself or just because I was paying attention to the problem & trying to solve it. Hm. Anyways, I’ll try your tips so thanks for sharing!

I loved this video so much I wanted to comment even before it was over!

The wisdom in my fear tells me that I need to stay open to life as it unfolds and not get bogged down and concreted into my plan. It also speaks strongly that, just like Shauna, Freedom is very important to me. And Love. And I need to keep space for that in my life.

What an amazing episode! I cried as I watched, because it finally clicked for me! ‘Why do I fear success?!’ is a question I’ve been trying to answer my entire teen and adult life. I now know why each time one of my projects reveals even a small amount of success, I abandon it and move on to the next idea.

My current business that empowers women through fashion is the only one I’ve stuck through (a year and a half strong!), thanks to my husband who won’t let me quit, and my sub-conscious mind who’s now on board with success and all its benefits.

When I was younger, I decided I needed a writing retreat on an island. I packed up my supplies and had my dad drive me onto the ferry, then to the end of a dark dirt road. At the last minute, I had a sense of shock, a physical feeling of fear from my extremities to my trunk. I was worried about being out in the woods by myself — and I was afraid I would spend my two weeks in fear. I decided I wouldn’t give in, since I would have no one to hold my hand if I believed the boogie man was coming. It worked: I was able to be alone at night without allowing fictive specters to enter my mind.

My fave part is this teaches you the path of less resistance. i’m reminded that my integrity and authenticity. I fear that I will HAVE TO do things I do not believe in to be successful. It reminds me that my personal connection to God as I understand him is my number priority and I think success will take away from my connection. This was a very insightful vlog!!
thank you.

My deepest fear has been what if I fail? What if Im not good enough and what if I embarrass myself by failing because I’m not good enough? It goes around in circles.

What I have found was I just got in and started to hustle and get going and the little what ifs start to go away.
For example: I prove to myself that a no out of 7 yeses for a guest post means I am succeeding.

And for when they come back my little phrase a la Mel Robbins is: “Shut up, I’m doing it anyway.”

Giving yourself a limited time for moping and getting stuck also helps. I make it a goal to only think about something for 5 seconds before I take action.

I feel you Rebecca I have similar fears myself (I posted just now). I love the directive to “only think about something for five seconds before I take action”. I’m definitely a brooder so martialing myself not to dwell will help!

Fear of success is my #1 problem in my business and life. My whole childhood, I was force-fed the most stupid lies about success. “Successful people are evil.” “Success means you give up your family.” “Successful people think they are better than everyone else.”

My calling on this Earth is to help others. I’ve been blessed with true gifts to help others change their lives and businesses. However, as soon as I get a hint of success, I run the other way. Logically, I understand it’s a load of… well.. crap. However, my subconscious raises it’s ugly head every time success makes itself known. I like to call those voices my “pitchfork people” and I’d just love to stab them with their own devices.

But I digress… and I wanted to write to thank you for putting together this video. It has come at the perfect time and dozens upon dozens of chocolate roses can’t thank you enough.

WOW! This information and the tools provided are INVALUABLE beyond belief. I have already experienced small successes as a result of reading the bonus guide daily since watching this video. Thank you thank you thank you.

The kids dubbed him Miracle Cuzzy due to his incredible road to recovery after the doctors said he would never walk again after a horrific car accident in the prime of his life. A frail young man cried out to God after months in a hospital bed. Lukas had a turning point moment as feeling came back into his legs… He had to go through re-hab and learn to walk again.

This Cape Town based resident then lost his wife to Cystic Fibroses and ending up on anti depressants and sleeping tablets and feeling very sorry for himself. Over weight and sick (and tired) the 1st of January 2008 (his birth day) was his turning point moment where he decided to put his dream into action by doing the 1st of many incredible events to follow. Thirteen of these events are World Records and all of them where an attempt to raise awareness and sponsorship for the GenX Youth Project.

Lukas Miracle Cuzzy Korff went on to set 13x World Records and founded the GenX Youth Centre as part of his STAND UP! & pay it forward campaign in aid of the youth. He has spoken to thousand of youth across the country about his story and then built the GenX Youth Centre where kids are taught life skills through various sport; such as Skate boarding, Roller Blading, Bmxing and Kids Boxing.

What a wonderful video. Thank you Dr. Cathy and Marie for highlighting something that is so important in the development of not only a successful business but a successful life. Many time we lose sight of what is deep within us. Communicating with ourselves in a caring way allows the true soul to shine. Thank you!

Thank you for this information! Becoming overwhelmed is something we that fit the Highly Sensitive Person profile are always watchful for/guarding against. It is also the reason so many of us choose to work for ourselves. (Control, complete control! – ha!) The Dr’s steps are easy to apply and quite helpful. Any more on this subject will be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!
Jane

I love that Marie is bringing the subconscious mind discussion to the forefront. Marie and Cathy are onto something big! I too figured out the power of reprogramming subconscious beliefs when I discovered a successful technique called Theta Healing. I had so many beliefs holding me back and never thought some were inherited from my ancestors or past lives (I’m a believer now). Reprogramming in the theta brain wave state is POWERFUL. That’s why she suggests it’s good to repeat before you fall asleep, right upon waking and after meditation…that’s when you’re in theta!
Sending love from Los Angeles!

Thank you so much,Marie and Cathy, for this rich video and Cecilia, for sharing your inspiring story!

The video provides a step by step approach which seems easy to apply if you have one clear goal, but I seem to have a dozen (conflicting?) goals, like desiring a blossoming and meaningful career in law, keeping my freedom, having time for friends and my passion for dance, developing my ideas for dance workshops and shows, paying my debts and restoring my financial health and finding a passionate love relationship! As soon as I focus on goal, the subconcious mind is worried about all the others; it makes the step by step approach a bit more complicated.

Besides, when I use Cecilia’s approach re. singlehood, the GREATEST fear of my subconcious mind (based on painful past experiences) is to be cheated on again. I can’t promise my subconcious mind that in a future relationship it won’t be hurt again in that way, as it is not in my hands. In this case, what could I affirm to my subconcious mind to make it look beyond the fear and open for love and intimacy again?

I have to laugh because I think this has been one of the elephants in the room for me. That deep-seated fear that I will be a complete & utter failure, no one will buy my products and that “they” will be right – “they” being anyone who has told me I can’t make money doing what I love/selling my work. I think it really ties in to this utter & complete hatred almost I have of “wasting time”.

When I get down to the *real why* right now I think it centers around the fact that I can’t get the time I’ve put into my work back to do other things. So once I’ve knitted this shawl or crocheted that hat…those hours are kaput. I want to do so many things that I can’t waste even one second doing something that “isn’t worth it”. But I tie a lot of my worth to the approval of others and things that mimic popularity which isn’t really authentic for me. I like my work, if you like it too that’s great, if you don’t fine! I still like it! I think another issue is I have an IMG (inner mean girl) I call “The TaskMaster” – she is this monstrous and constantly disapproving authority figure who is always questioning my work ethic and even down to what I am actually doing. Spouting utter negative nastiness, so that just in case I’ve forgotten my fears for the moment she is happy to remind me.

So dear Subconscious: I know you don’t wanna waste time. I know you want to realize everything from your wildest, fantastic dreams to every funny little idea that pops in my head. And I PROMISE I will get it all done. All of the really & truly important things will be realized in time.

I had an incredible soul-challenging week this week and it really knocked me down. Then something (oh HEY sub-conscious that’s got my back!) told me to come back here and watch the vid again and wow am I glad I did.

I had been beating myself up and really fighting myself over some fears I have and I really just wasn’t getting anywhere with them. After watching this vid, writing all the steps down and being a lot gentler on myself – already I have felt a huge lift of pressure.

This video couldn’t have come at a better time! I’ve been looking out for a way to change careers and go back to non profit work, but realized just this week that I’m afraid of succeeding in getting a job in the field and then failing in the position. The nagging sense of “what happens if I get the job and then miss an opportunity/don’t make the right policy recommendation/make a typo in a newsletter” has got me dragging my feet!
I’ve been afraid to succeed based on the fear of subsequent failure, and since those failures would directly effect people, I’m afraid of hurting them. It’s a huge load off just to admit it, and I’ll be using these 5 steps to help me! Any recommendations of other videos to watch for this particular issue?
Love your stuff, a big thank you to both of you from me!
Margaret

Loved this video. I even took notes. I need to have a chat with my subconscious. I didn’t know that fear of success existed until I connected with my life coach this summer but now I think that it’s one of the many blocks I have that needs clearing.

I absolutely loved seeing Dr. Cathy here! She is a dear friend of mine and I’ve worked with her privately in the past to great success. I can’t recommend her or her work highly enough, and getting a sneak peek at how she approaches these situations herself is amazing.

I love the idea of being the first person to be the example. That excites me because I can not always find an example to follow in my field.
Thank you for sharing great tips. Easy to understand and follow

Hi Marie…Wow, this was really meaningful for me. My fear is that everything will get out of control and I will feel overwhelmed and not cope. Plus being a solo mum I have a strong fear of not being there enough for my children time wise and to support them through their endeavours.
I also totally dislike conflict and have trouble delegating. I want to be the boss but not be bossy. I want to be able to encourage staff to really step up to take over. I kinda want to reach a point where I just delegate and see customers.

And I want woman to educate themselves…to not be afraid , even those woman and probably more so those woman who are suffering from depression or oppresssion as they will have movements forward and then back. being able to support them through their emotional strife to a place where they can manage themselves.

What I like about Dr. Cathy is that she puts “real” science in what many considered as just another woo-woo stuff : manifesting. I always believe that we attract what we believe in but i hated how a lot of people are turning that into one big new (w)age scam.
It’s always a pleasure to read her blog and her fabulous PDFs. It’s a beautiful inspiring and Intelligent (let me emphasize that – INTELLIGENT) read.

Fear of success for lack of freedom, is exactly what I fear too. I haven’t been able to articulate my fear until now, so thanks Shona you hit it right on the head. Thank you so much Cathy and Marie for this video. I could not be more grateful for all the wisdom you shared. I’m so excited to begin the 5 step process, and the PDF bonus.

First time here and first Marie TV I’ve seen – great! Dr. Cathy gave the best, most practical and understandable explanation of the role of our subconscious and I work with the subconscious for a living! As a practitioner of the Bio Energetic Synchronization Technique (BEST), I work with the people to update their behavioral and physiological patterns to meet their currents needs and desires versus what they’re usually responding to – past fears/trauma and/or future anxiety. I will certainly share this with my clients to help them better understand what we are doing in a session. 5 great steps outlined here. Step #6? Get a BEST session! Thanks so much.

Love this! Solidifying and affirming right before you go to bed and upon waking is a technique I started using and it works wonderfully! So much so, that I created pillowcases with affirmations.Thanks for the steps and affirming my newly homegrown process.

Thank you so much for this video – it is absolutely true for me, but even just watching this video pushed me into feeling less anxious about taking the leap. I have had ideas about starting my own business for years now, and have been slowly doing the little things part-time to get myself there, however I’ve been having many “fears” about starting a new business. For example: the long-hours and preparation without any income at the beginning, being in monetary debt, being the decision-maker but not always knowing what decisions to make or how to do things…etc.etc.etc.

However telling myself that it is possible, that millions of women are doing it, with the same “nothing” beginnings is very powerful. Reminding myself that everything is “figureoutable!”. I think I will start to use Cathy’s 5 steps regularly to get my whole self on board 🙂

This video knocked my socks off! I took detailed, detailed notes on this segment because I too share this fear AND can use this formula to crack open my other ones. THANK YOU THANK YOU Marie and Dr. Cathy for sharing your wisdom with us – I am forever grateful. Hugs! xox

Exactly my subconscious fear, which I’ve been whittling at intuitively with some success, but imagine how fabulous it will be with this gentle and systematic process I can apply to this and future messages from my sub!? Cross posting this one liberally. Thanks again Marie and Doc.

Hi,
These tips sound great and really look forward to learning more, but I’ve been trying to download the guide provided on the shop of Catherine’s website to no avail….wrote name and email address, but haven’t received anything..any help on this?

Hi Melissa,
I am Cathy’s assistant and I am sorry to hear you have been having a hard time downloading the guide! I would love to make sure you get access to it so you can read further and work with the tips. Please do get in touch with me at [email protected] and I will get it to you right away.

I understand now what has been handicapping me; my subconscious mind! I’ve always wondered why when I try to attempt something new, my subconscious mind comes into play and make me doubt or question my motives. In the past 2 years I’ve ventured into entrepreneurship and totally love being in control of my life! My friends thought I was crazy to leave a stable job with the largest asset manager firm in the world to pursue an “unstable” business in a far away state and step into the unknown. I love taking calculated risk and understand that life is more precious than sitting behind a desk talking to people about their investments and getting blamed for the downfall of their investments! Thank you so much for the tips and I am going to do my best to listen to my subconscious mind to get wisdom from it and not work against it. I make a promise to myself to never give up and to inspire other people to pursue their dreams as well! Thank you Marie for your humor and these amazing self development videos! You rock!

Wow, this is great, practical advice. When i was growing up, my personal projects were always strongly encouraged, but at the same time, my mother had a bad temper. I was a very well behaved kid, but when i would do things like leaving my room a mess repeatedly, which most mom’s would just find irritating, she would really shout at me for a good twenty minutes, using superlatives like “you’re always lazy” or “you never listen.” While i would never compare this to what someone must go through in, say, a physically abusive situation, i was a very sensitive little kid, and it was damaging to me. It’s strange looking back that despite this, my creative endeavors were always praised, and as an adult, my mom even tries to push me towards success, but i keep hitting a strong fear of being yelled at by the people i might do business with, and that fear is extremely powerful. I’ve avoided lots of situations in the past that might put me in a position for others to rely on me, and then there’d be the chance i could disappoint them and they would then shout at me. I’ve actually been shouted at in work environments before, and strangely enough, realizing that i was still alive afterwards didn’t do the trick to get over the fear, it was that ingrained. I am going to try this technique. I like the idea of being gentle with the subconscious rather than trying to ignore it or change it.

I’ve been doing personal development work for myself and my clients for years now, and yet there’s been something missing in all the “just visualize success and it will come to you” blah blah that too many people put forth. (and of course I’ve felt like a fraud that I haven’t made the success I’ve wanted happen, yet I help others do it for themselves)…

This talk really nailed the missing link for me — one that I’ve seen at work in other people, so I know it’s accurate.

I’m so glad that you two smart, fabulous women are talking about this stuff, because it is so important. I hope you team up with Brene Brown, too — too many people have been suffering and struggling in silence for too long.

I am amazed at the lack of insight so many of these comments show towards those who have not had positive reinforcement while a child. You can not just say to someone to stay away from negative people, use EFT, affirmations, visulisations, etc. This show a complete lack of understanding of how the unconscious mind works. You can not just change beliefs that easily. You have to break down the shell around the unconscious and replace those beliefs. This is very difficult for someone who has had negative reinforcement. It is easier if you have had positive reinforcement. People who are successful have generally had someone in childhood who gave them beliefs that tell them they are ok and will do ok. Those who are failing if you dig deeper haven’t. Until someone knows how to break this shell for everyone all these “Guru” techniques who I may add are making a lot of people very wealthy don’t work for the majority of people. Of course they will try to sell you all this information and people will attempt it only to be disappointed because it doesn’t change anything in the long run. This is the unfortunate reality that millions of people have used these techniques and they haven’t worked and they are now sick and tired of the sacharin do gooders who don’t really know what they are talking about.

Jenna – You can shift beliefs instantly and there are techniques out there that work. I said it in a previous comment, I’ll say it again. I’ve personally had great success with ThetaHealing. It’s not for everyone and at the end of the day, it comes down to your choosing, willingness and openness, and the skills of the practitioner – but I’ve experienced massive shifts in my life. Just sayin’. There’s hope. I’d recommend working with someone 1:1. I’ve healed a lot in my physical body from shifting beliefs that actually shifted my DNA. I’ve got proof. We bring beliefs in from our ancestors and past lives too. Have hope and believe that the right technique/facilitator is out there for you and you will call it in. When the student is ready the teacher appears. Sending you tons of support and hope.

Fabulous. I have been working on peeling thru my layers to discover what is holding me back in life. I have been transitioning and finding incredible struggles. I know what I want so I’m just figuring out what may be holding me back from abundance. Cheers!

I have been in a job way too long because I am afraid of sacrificing my time. Even though it is unfulfilling and underpaying, I stay because it’s comfortable and I get a ton of time off to spend with family and friends. This video smacked me in the head with the truth of why I am afraid to move on to a better opportunity. Wow. Thanks for this new way of thinking “Success increases my freedom in life.” I am just going to step out and Go For It! Blessings to all for the new year.

Omg!!!! By far the MOST PHENOMENAL thing I have EVER read or heard. Th logic… It’s surreal. I instantly felt relief, sadness and happiness all at once listening to the video and then reading it. All I’ve ever done is fight myself to show who’s boss… To try to force my conscious thoughts upon my subconscious… I’ SO thrilled to actually start incorporating these steps into my daily life it’s unreal. I cannot thank you ladies enough.. YOU both have been MY example.

I have always wanted to be a writer. What I have discovered is that when I’m sleeping or after meditation the words flow. But once I’m up and about and ready to put pen to paper, there is nothing, no flow. What’s really happening? How can I capture that? Is that my subconscious at work?

This episode was huge for me. It actually taught me how to reconcile a particular fear of getting on board with an amazing opportunity. I went through the process of questioning my limiting belief about this opportunity and then identifying the reprogramming that needs to happen as I was watching. Cathy’s words and advice cleared up a large block I was facing and I am immensely grateful. This was a game changer for me.

Get some friends and/or colleagues together, create a setting as in a public speaking situation (chairs in a row, you in front of the room), have your friends sit there and you stand in front of the room, and say nothing, just look at them and smile at them. Do not speak. Do this for 1-2 minutes. Just relax and smile and keep looking and smiling at them.

And, but you probably already do this, go into the room in which you’re scheduled to speak, before. Go stand where you’re expected to stand, look at the room, picture all the people there, and see how everybody in those chairs are just people like you and imagine that you’re talking to them right then and there, and realize how much you actually enjoy it and how much FUN it is.

My fear is I think the exact same question Shauna asked about. Also, I fear that if I am good at something, I believe in it so much. So much so that I become overconfident, and when that happens even a small slip in the process de-motivates me. Also, the fear of trusting in reverse-psychology. Oh and by the way, reverse psychology actually exists right? Would be happy to hear your opinion on it.

(ps: I am not sure if I made sense, but I am glad I somehow expressed my mind. Thanx for being that platform.)

Fear of being judged. Whether I am in a normal mood, or if I feel extremely expressive or if I when I am occasionally ticked-off, my subconcious mind is always wondering or rather worried about what the other person is thinking of me. This kinda restricts my actual feeling towards the situation and so I end up not being myself.

Fear of being judged. Whether I am in a normal mood, or if I feel extremely expressive or if I when I am occasionally ticked-off, my subconscious mind is always wondering or rather worried about what the other person is thinking of me. This kinda restricts my actual feeling towards the situation and so I end up not being myself.

This was great but the program I preferred for myself and my kids is the Handwriting Formation Therapy program. It is similar in belief to this but is evidence-based and the creator was the first person in world history to do a program like this. It was life changing after decades of trying “other stuff”. Check it out yourself. Yours is good but this program I mention is the best. Thank you.

This is a wonderful blog. Both of the women in this video are are fierce. 🙂
I am the youngest of a large (I mean huge!) creatively gifted family.
None of my older brothers or sisters had the courage to take the leap of faith that I have in pursuing a career in the arts. Now over 3 decades.
While I have had my own set of major obstacles and challenges over the years, feel I have a few seeds planted that have the potential of bringing great financial reward on the horizon.
While most of my older siblings continue to struggle (some much worse than the others who are merely just “getting by”) those in my family who have a little more, help the others, some who are near-bankruptcy.
I am physically distant from them, however, I believe that my fear of success is rooted in this:
In the event I make a considerable amount of income through my various projects, even create a body of work that is equivalent to a windfall, feel a responsibility in sharing my income with those in my family less fortunate, which, factoring in the number of them, would keep me living a lifestyle nearly consistent with theirs.
While I plan to help them in the event I have more, I do feel a sense of guilt with the idea of living a very comfortable financial life – while they do not.
So, I believe my subconscious keeps me “struggling” so I do not have to deal with the inevitable.
I want to break free from this…thrive, enjoy the things in my life that I dream about, live with passion, and not feel guilty doing so. And still have great relationships with my brothers and sisters.
I need some advice.

It is clear that this is a wonderful way to to see the situation of our evolving usage of our machinery. I also have a wonderful way that has been shared with me through my Inner Teacher/Guide. I hope that you find it interesting as well.

Very interesting and I can understand your subconcious can have an impact on your life however the affirmation Dr Collautt suggested “Success increases my freedom in life” correct me if im wrong but don’t you have to make the affirmation in the present tense for it to work? so in my opinion I would of thought an affirmation “Im free and very successful” any suggestions?

You are like a super woman! I was learning all I can about the subconscious mind and this video blew almost every other resource I found out of the park, however I disagree a little. This is my opinion of the steps to take.

1. Take action toward what you know you consciously want, ignore your subconscious mind, because you’re the boss and know what you want. Most of the cases it will state are opposite to what you think and it is pretty obvious.

2. Write yourself a specific goal on paper and carry it in your wallet or purse and look at it once or twice a week. Once you do this your subconscious mind will put you in situations that will force you to believe differently to achieve that written goal on autopilot.

3. The universe works through 100% effortlessness. The only thing you need is a desire, a written goal of that desire, and faith that it will happen, your subconscious mind will literally reprogram itself to make that goal happen, we can’t reprogram our subconscious mind with our conscious mind because we will only be stepping on our own toes, write a clear goal on paper, and trust that it will do the rest.

I “your full name” have “your desire” now
Example: I Jonathan Caleb Thomas have two million dollars now

My main disagreement with the interviewee’s philosophies is that your conscious mind (your awareness) can’t reprogram your subconscious mind because it isn’t even close to as strong. It’s like a human telling God how to do his job. Our conscious mind doesn’t know in a million years to where to begin to reprogram your subconscious. All your conscious mind knows is what you want. Once you make what you want as clear as day and commit it to paper, the subconscious mind will look at the limitless possibilities that our limited conscious mind could never see, this is why Harvard’s study of goal setting proved that 3% of the graduates that had written goals made more money than 97% of the graduates that didn’t have written goals. It’s because the people that wrote goals had the subconscious mind on their side, the part that is infinitely intelligent and above our logic. Write a goal, take massive action toward it and you will have your subconscious on you side, Guaranteed.

I fear success because with success comes attention in the public eye. I know I have the ability, talent, skills and knowledge to be this successful but with it comes the attention and that scares the bejeezes out of me, I would rather have anonymity. So consequently I sabotage my efforts in one way or another.

The same happens with weight loss, with it comes attention, which I don’t want.

Obviously there is something in my past where I was severely humiliated and getting attention was a bad experience. So I need to lay down some work with my subconscious and move past it, because quite honestly it has held me back in more ways than one.

I hope the knowledge I’ve gained from Catherine’s tips and insights will help me get past this somehow. The Pantene advert comes to mind ‘It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.’

Here’s the quickest way to being WEALTHY! The subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between reality and illusion, only your conscious mind can, this is why movies make people laugh and cry, even though they know the actors are only “pretending” This is why a homeless and broke person in a brand new suit and tie will look like a successful ceo.

1. Scan a real hundred dollar bill’s front and back, in the highest resolution possible. Print hundreds of them out then cut them out on plain white paper. Write “For visualization only” on the blank backs of them. Imagine your wealthy. Don’t try to spend them, this is only for visualization! lol

Hello,
I have been practicing deep meditation and what I have experienced
Is that beyond the conscious and the unconscious mind there is stage of
extreme calmness, peace and joy.When the dialogue between the conscious and the unconscious are resolved we get into a stage of trans
At this stage you are not aware of your body and both your conscious and
unconscious feeling of mind . generally I could not retrieve what happened to me during my stay at this state but the experience makes me my mind lighter and it is really refreshing.

I have these two amazing friends, and I have noticed (as both of them have as well) that when I am around them that I feel like I don’t belong. I find that I get into this mood, that is unpleasant for those around me; including myself. It’s not that I don’t think I’m not good enough, it’s more of I’m not used to having friends who have my back. These two women are amazing and don’t deal with drama. Well, except for what I do. My subconscious mind doesn’t want me to be happy and wants to sabotage my relationships with others. I left a dinner gathering last night (Sunday) because I wasn’t feeling well, and now the both of them don’t believe me as they think I was in a mood of some sort when I wasn’t. I have been upset since last night and haven’t spoken to them as I want to give them space. The reality that I could lose their friendships has really hit me and I don’t want that to happen..My fear is being happy and successful in any relationship, and I want to change that and have loving relationships ♥

Don’t resist the resistance! What a powerful advice! I’ve known the benefits of aligning my subconscious mind to my desires for a while but these tips are amazing! Thank you so much for this video Marie!

For as long as I can remember I’ve feared failure…. fear of missing the boat…fear of it being too late for me to make something of myself and all the while, as the years go by although I try, try, try, that is what is happening!
Thank you for today’s show!

This was right on time! The belief I need to reprogram is the belief that there’s no way to live my dream of helping people and make money. But I’ve recognized it and now it’s time to reprogram! My new affirmation – I am a money magnet, money flows to me.Thank you for this post!

So wonderful to hear Cathy talking about reprogramming the subconscious mind. I have been experimenting with different ways to do that. And just lately started to work with my subconscious fears around success. My first inspiration around this subject was Bruce Lipton. His books are amazing and very informative on this subject. Thank you Marie for this information!

Great post! This is really life-changing advice and I can see the limitless possibilities of using the subconscious mind.

I had a fear of public speaking. When I visualized my goal as if I had succeeded, I gained confidence and actually succeeded because I had the help of my subconscious mind. There’s more ways to access the subconscious mind. The one I am sharing is Visualization because “images” is a language to our subconscious mind.

Thank you for sharing this post. I am inspired to find more ways to align with our subconscious mind.

I cannot understand how someone would be afraid of success – I am so frustrated that I’m not being a success but if I was successful then I’d be euphoric happy and so unafraid even if it means work and more work

This is brilliant! I was just thinking two days ago that I feel like I’m frozen solid– HUGE resistance to move forward with all the great ideas I’ve gotten since starting B-School! (This should be included IN B-School!!!) Now I see why– I’ve been afraid of it coming before my commitment to taking care of my family. I’m not good at focusing on my art and my obligations. Now I know what I need to address. I just felt my shoulders lower about four inches away from my ears– I was so stressed out!!!

Dear Marie,
the subject of today’s Q&A is exactly what my business is about.

I will offer classes, sessions, specific meditations and Kundalini Yoga to get deeper into the subconscious and not only reprogram it, also get the “garbage” of deep rooted subconscious pattern out.

I am German and also a student and teacher of the famous (in Germany) Dr. Dahlke, who actually analyzed which stereotype of a pattern is common for which illness or disorder. It is pretty amazing.

The point which I truly want to stress on is, that a person with deeper fears and patterns can not intellectually change or take control. The best proof for this is, this world wouldn’t be such a “nuthouse”, considering all the books and knowledge available how to heal yourself theoretically!
What it needs is an experience of connection and healing on a totally different level.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am sure what Dr. Cathy said works for a lot of people.
After many years of studying, myself (I was a P.T.S.D. case), working and sharing with others, I truly believe it is counterproductive for people with deeper rooted fears, to give them 5 theoretical steps like in the video, because it most likely is not going to succeed.

I also understand that B school is mainly teaching how to create a business and not how to go through tough inside blocks. The only problem I see there is, that these blocks are responsible for a lot of frustrations, which makes it incredibly difficult to be able to integrate your teaching.

I am one of these and I have literally to wipe out these programs in myself when I am confronted with something powerful new in my life, like creating a new business with B school. The reason why I am starting with this business is that I have a pretty clear “road map of the incredible depths of the subconscious mind”.

I love what you are doing, it inspired and freaked me out a lot at the same time.
I hope I can pass on to others, the incredible experiences of healing for a happier and more complete lifestyle.

The Universe meant for me to see this episode. Thank you so much to you both.

I have had this internal battle of freedom vs. success my whole life, but no more so than since I’ve started B-school. I’m a yoga instructor and I relocated from Los Angeles to NYC a couple of months ago. I’ve been struggling to not repeat the same business model that burned me out on teaching in LA- teaching back to back classes, grueling commutes across town to studios and clients, neglecting my social life and friends just so that I could have some time alone, etc. On my walk this morning, just before I saw this video, I was thinking I was kind of glad I’m not teaching regularly at any studios in town because I can retain my freedom to travel, practice, do whatever or nothing at all. I felt badly about it, like it means I’m some kind of failure yoga teacher for not having a home studio. But after thinking about it some more, I realize that’s my ego and negativity having another go at me and I just need to call on my Higher Power. My meditation practice has been super helpful in that regard and I will definitely be implementing these steps; I’m so grateful for the opportunity.

I had a huge fear of success that I cleared with energy work and steady but firm pressure on that fear. It was like a weight was lifted. I also learned to recognize those feelings and deal with them when they came up again. The more I practiced my awareness, the easier it was to deal with them. This is such a great and helpful video, because I think there are tons of people out there who aren’t even aware that they have this fear! A great wake-up call.

I do have a fear of success. I was very successful with a network marketing business years ago and it burned me out, took me away from my children and gave me not time for anything but work. Then my husband lost all the money I made in the stock market. I have realized that success, to me, means I won’t be accessible and it won’t last. Time to rewrite this.

This hit home sooooo hard! I know how important it is to affirm and train my subconscious but I’m always in conflict when I find myself thinking not so much negatively but fearful of the big picture. I question the moments I’m deep into the computer and trying to make a go of my ultimate career goal but with the shared responsibility and LOVE for my 2 young children. I want success so I can have more freedom with my family but I’m always shuffling in my head about spending enough quality time with them NOW and in fear that success means less time with them…or at least getting to be successful feels like less time with them while getting there. I’m fearful of not getting that time back. THERE I JUST SAID IT OUT LOUD:( ugh that hurts. I know what’s best for all of us but it’s finding that balance and feeling good both consciously and subconsciously. I am going to take these 5 steps and incorporate it into my Bschool implementation week today and from hereon out. I think it’s just what I needed to hear right this very moment. THANK YOU!

Hello!
I’m a B-Schooler and have watched this episode twice and read the full transcript several times through (the margins are full of notes). Wow! This is powerful and deep medicine for the soul.
The big awakening for me is the idea that I don’t have to “master” my fear, I don’t have to “power through it” and “muscle my way” past it; instead, I am approaching my fear gently, with respect, and sitting with it to better understand what it is saying, what it believes it is doing to protect and help me. By making friends with my fear, I am better able to acknowledge it and work with it to, as Marie said, “reprogram” it.
It is working!
Marie and Catherine, thank you both for such an awesome, inspired, and seriously kick-butt episode of heart-full wisdom.

Thank you so much Marie and Cathy! This video and B School combined is like therapy and the best business training on offer, all rolled into one! What I learnt today is this… I have a deep urge to participate in changing the world for good and creating a business that provides me deep fulfilment, wealth but more importantly freedom and balance to spend time with my 2 children and husband. I am enjoying the ride but have definitely had moments of frustration about the slow progress. Using Cathy’s tools, I really sat with my subconscious today to try to understand what’s holding me back. What I heard is that it is scared that success will mean too much time away from my young children and husband. When I really listened it said ‘i just want to roll around in the grass with my beautiful kids, garden, hike and do yoga.” I am now looking for examples of mothers who feel that wonderful sense of balance between quality, conscious time with their children, and incredible fulfilment from their work. I feel like i’ve got a message brewing inside that can positively change lives but my subconscious, and my conscious, does not want this to be at the expense of time with my family. Marie / Cathy – i’d love your thoughts on this and any examples of balanced mummies changing the world!

Thank you so much Marie and Cathy! This video and B School combined is like therapy and the best business training on offer, all rolled into one! What I learnt today is this… I have a deep urge to participate in changing the world for good and creating a business that provides me deep fulfilment, wealth but more importantly freedom and balance to spend time with my 2 children and husband. I am enjoying the ride but have definitely had moments of frustration about the slow progress. Using Cathy’s tools, I really sat with my subconscious today to try to understand what’s holding me back. What I heard is that it is scared that success will mean too much time away from my young children and husband. When I really listened it said ‘i just want to roll around in the grass with my beautiful kids, garden, hike and do yoga.” I am now looking for examples of mothers who feel that wonderful sense of balance between quality, conscious time with their children, and incredible fulfilment from their work. I feel like i’ve got a message brewing inside that can positively change lives but my subconscious, and my conscious, does not want this to be at the expense of time with my family. Marie / Cathy – i’d love your thoughts on this and any examples of balanced mummies changing the world!

I’ve been dreaming of starting my own business for a while. Dreamt of stepping out into the light a little. Dreamt of sharing what ignites my passion and makes sparks shoot out from my eyes…

But I recently survived a series of events in my life that brought forward such overwhelming fear and its little friendly daemon panic that I’m now feeling almost frozen. And I want out.

I have ideas for a great business, and the initial market research is positive… At best I feel the tingles of excitement and surge of energy that I may be able to do this. At worst full-blown panic sets in, with all of its lovely physiological manifestations, and the “BUT” stories flood all available consciousness.

You could start this BUT you don’t know enough…
BUT people you know and respect will laugh at you…
BUT who do you think you are?!?…
BUT then people who pay for what you’re offering to sell will be counting on you…
BUT then lots of people will see you for the fraud you must surely know you are…
BUT then you’ll be humiliated because you KNOW you won’t follow through…
BUT then you won’t see your kids enough and you’ll disappear into this digital world and your parenting will suffer. You’ll be a shittier mom.

I could go on, but I won’t. It’s been a couple of years of deep personal work, and the thought that all of this anxiety and fear could be here to do me a service is one that I’m starting to allow as a possibility.

Thank you for reminding us of how simple it can be to enquire and see where our own wisdom takes us. It’s amazing how much our upbringing, culture and “formatting” shapes how we see and treat ourselves. Rewiring all of that takes humility, time and a helluvalot of courage.

I look forward to digging into the PDF. Thanks for sharing this great additional resource.

Great episode! I have had a huge fear of success for lots of reasons, but realized as I’m watching this that my fear is having to juggle the imagined gigantic responsibilities of my own business and taking care of my family and right now, a very difficult marriage. What I recognized through the gentle interviewing that Cathy was sharing, was that the thought of more responsibility on top of my very strained personal life, has felt like WAY too much and almost insurmountable. I want success in my life and business more than anything right now and as a current B-Schooler and mom who is getting ready to send her youngest off to college, it is time for that success to happen, regardless of the other not so great stuff happening in my relationship. How awesome that in just 5 minutes, I had that ah-ha! moment. Now I can take a really good look at the things I can modify, change or reorganize, so that my success and happiness in my business and family stays in alignment. These 5 steps may have just opened up my path to finally moving forward, something with which I have been struggling with for months, but couldn’t identify. It’s like accepting all of the parts of me and working them to their potential. I love it!! I’m checking out Dr. Cathy’s website next. Thanks Marie!

I´ve been doing the 5 steps for getting my subconscious on board. But i´ve found out that my main fear is related to the people i´m starting my business with (partners). I want to do myself the promise (step 4) of not going anywhere or doing anything that will “hurt myself” but then i realize that doing that maybe will include dissappointing my partners. E.g: if at any point i really feel overwhelmed, stressed or that i´m doing things that i promised my subcouscious NOT TO DO do for my own good (work all day, etc, etc) i feel i won´t be able to stop doing that, because that may include (hopefully not) closing the businness or starting another one. But I dont know if I could do that if there are other people depending on my work and whom i committed with (and who had invest $$$ and time!).
How can I promise myslef something i don´t feel I will really be cappable of doing?

Omg, I feel like the stars are aligned! This is exactly what I needed because I have the same exact fear. I have so many good ideas, and even when I have the opportunity to implement them, something inside of me holds back. It’s afraid of commitment and obligation. I feel so much better. Doing this exercise now!

My fear is of getting laughed at and rejected as a serious business woman. I know exactly where it stems from and it’s silly to hold on to something that happened to me as a child entrepreneur. The promise sounds like something my subconscious will respond to…that I will present our business in a fabulous and professional manner. Bschool is helping me with that step so….me and my subconscious are on our way!

I decided to do the exercise right away. I immediately recognized 4 fears, and chose to start with fear of speaking up and expressing myself. I always have treated fear as a battle I have to fight wih myself, and so far I kept loosing. Your advice helped me to take it differently, bringing it out with honor and respect. That felt like a huge change already, I even got a bad stomach feeling, which I recognize happens when I am touching something deep down there. Thank you so much for sharing this!

So interesting we are on this topic because TODAY I had the same conversation with my coach. I told her “Why is it that I always make just enough money but I don’t make more than I need? ” If I make $1500 for the month that’s what I need, and if I need $4000 thats what I make. Its really bizarre but it is also my beliefs from childhood. My parents always had “just enough” but never more. Wow. So I didn’t realize also that I equate having a lot of money to people “wanting” my money from me. So I only create what I need and I don’t create more. I gained alot of clarity and now I have to work on those belief patterns and change them into something more positive. Thanks for the great vid Marie as always.

I was having a battle with my own resistance and it was kicking my ass! The more I resisted my resistance the more I found myself getting beat up!

Note to self: Work with my subconscious not against it… the fears that get kicked up when attempting to move forward seem so irrational at times I just want to yak! I do not give them the space or the listening attention they deserve. When this happens the battle within becomes filled with so much noise I just want to give up.

Hi I have just joined B school few weeks ago..already feeling behind and my old haunting dark shadow procrastination is creeping in under the disguise of a single mother in the holistic health field always prioritising others more important needs sp when it comes to babies, children, and women’s issues in a third world country where I currently volunteer..though I am fully aware and passed at myself as I know this is just an excuse to avoid facing the TERROR of failure , lack of worthiness, deserving to be happy, financially free and abundant doing what I love as a women and raise my son .my pattern in life is that I am great at creative visioning, ideas, concepts,networking ,supporting others, working deeply one on one ,fired enthusiasm that fizzles out and does not sustain to completion..under various excuses such as people are dishonest , not in integrity specially in the business world so I can not trust, feel hurt despondent , overwhelmed and retreat, cave in … Aaaah I know the other part in me has a lot of useful journeys,tools, wisdoms, experiences, professional qualifications ,applications gifts and insights support others on this journey..particularly women..and staying “small” is not serving anyone…I have tried many different therapies, techniques over the years and gave up..it has been a very slow steady moving back into trust and confidence but definitely could use any helpful tips and boosts as saying YES to B school and being on it so far is HUGE..
Thanks Marie ..you and Alexis Neely were the first people my whole being said YES to the space from which what you offer..it makes sence and. I feel I can trust this…thanks for reading my share..

Thank you so much for this information and video. For many years I had wondered it I was self sabotaging myself. Recently I was told that my sub conscious had been clouded, and I have been trying to figure out where and how and what to do. Thanks again for the encouragement and enlightenment. Thanks for your love and helping us improve our lives.

It’s very important to mature and develop yourself so that you want well, want ethically, and want correctly. A big source of sorrow and misery in our world is people assuming that everything they want is the right thing to want, that being someone who won’t take no for an answer is an unassailable virtue. It’s not our task in life to get what we want. Our task is to align our wants in such a way that we have access to the resources that will let us make our CONTRIBUTION. The things we want should be driven by higher considerations than feeling good in the moment or indulging our whims. Want driven by want itself is simply narcissism.

i want to quit my job but I have the fear to not find another one fast. (Due to lack of funds) this makes me under a massive pressure on both points: working in a place I don’t like for over 10hours a day. And thinking too much of how to find a solution.

It was like greater force that was urging me to click on the link to this video. As soon as I started listening, I knew this message was for me. I have been going through the same fear and I can sum this up by just saying this video was brilliant and thank you!

I have a fear of deciding and as a result i end up taking time contemplating the situation.

For example just recently i changed my job working for company A for nearly 5 years. It took me a lot of time in deciding if i should i move to company B. After much thoughts, consulting people i decided to move.

Having said, working for company B after couple of months, i am experiencing some challenges. Suddenly company A decides to call me back and offers me the job i had left. Although both companies that i worked for are different industry.

As much as my heart wants to move back to company A, as that s where i fit the most and also because i enjoyed working with passion and in company B i am finding some challenges, i am finding myself contemplating. I am thinking if this would be the right move etc.

However, i have now informed company A about what i am seeking to get back, and i fear that i may have missed their first chance and interest of their offer of convincing me because they have not reverted back.

I am now fearing that i may not get called back again because i took too long in my response time and i missed the boat whilst i was in the decision making process.

When you were talking about looking for examples, my heart sank. There are no examples for what I am trying to achieve. In the next breath, Cathy said , or you can be the first one and be the example for others. OK! That was the sign I needed to confirm what I already believed. I love it when that happens. It’s like my subconscious speaking directly to me. Out loud!

Hi, this website seems to be what I’ve been looking for….I am 16 and I’ve been dealing with a lot of self confidence problems I guess,I am a singer, and when I was in an ensemble I would always look at other people and critique myself and think they were better than me, I still do wich is why I’m looking for help, I get really defensive and angry when people point out things I do wrong because I’ve been angry for awhile on the inside, I’ve had to deal with an alcoholic mother and a father with many anger issues who has verbally torn me down. I feel like I can’t focus on anything because I am always depressed and worryed about doing it perfectly, I play guitar also and I can’t imagine myself getting certain techniques right I spend hours trying to focus on little pointless things trying to be perfect I don’t know how to fix this, or how to overcome it, my sub conscious rules my life I’m always thinking about this constantly through the day and I’m always worrying about my public image. Someone please help.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that I love working out but I feel like progress and actual muscle growth would be impossible so I phyc myself out of it and give up, this seems to be the case with everything I do.

Hey Cathy and Marie I just want to say a HUGE Thank you! I did the exercise and have had a major mind shift…Euston we have a breakthrough! I didn´t even realise it until the next day when I found myself thinking about my business in a totally different way after having made some fab promises to myself. Since then my business plan has flowed, opportunities have come my way and I have even picked up some more clients. I can see into the future now without wanting to puke and can even see me leaving my part time “paid” job. I actually spoke my fears out loud to my husband after I explained what happened and he helped cement my feeling of safety even more. Thank you so much, I have tried all sorts to help clear my blocks to success but this really did the trick and I will continue to use it and rave about you both and your fab gifts 🙂

I know this isn’t recent, but I really relate to this. I always suspected I feared success, but this confirmed it.

Perhaps having a narrow view of success might also be part of the problem.

I equated success with more money, and to get more money one focused on career which meant working long-hours and networking.

And these two things left a bad taste in my mouth. I think that in the pursuit of dollars, the trade-off is less time with the people who really matter and more time with people I secretly don’t even like much.

Right now I’m learning my non-negotiables are my personal boundaries. I’m trying to figure out how to serve business relationships well, while keeping personal relationships first.

I’m launching my company in 16 days (!) and I’m so happy to have come across this interview. Such thoughtful guidance, and an amazingly gentle path to insight.

I am not afraid of success–deep down I’m actually ashamed of it. I grew up in a very non-materialistic culture, and money/business/fame were signs of shallowness and selfishness.

But after quietly helping pregnant women in my massage practice for 20 years, I’ve developed a therapeutic level sleep system that I think will really help them. And this is where I’m putting Cathy’s words to work for me.

I can’t force those feelings away…but I can gently promise them that I won’t do this if it isn’t something I can be proud of. I’ve made the product something I know helps people, and made it eco-friendly so it helps the planet. Now my intention is to run the company in a way that supports happy employees, and has something to give back. I’m envisioning a life where I help women sleep better, and I’m successful as a result.

Even as I’m typing, I hear that the money has to be incidental, and I can’t say out loud that I want to have money. (And I do. I really do.) Any suggestions for this particular sticking point? The last thing I want to do is sabotage myself.

I am a 27 year old (male) songwriter, an amateur author and artist, and a philanthropist. (I am really a nice guy once you get to know me, and I am sorry if any of this sounds pompous…) A lot of time, effort, and emotion went into my music and every song has a deeper; thought provoking meaning… My music is very unique to say the least (experimental instrumental with no lyrics) and I am having a hard time “selling” it because it isn’t seen as the art it is; but as crap that will never be popular because it has no lyrics and rarely percussion…

I have been working very hard on all of my music for a couple years now and have more recently also worked on writing, art, and philanthropy and incorporated these other passions of mine into my home page. I don’t think I have a fear of success, per say; more of a fear of being discriminated against because of my age, and gender, my lack of formal education (I’m an autodidact) and how I may be seen based on the genre of my “style.” Again I am sorry if I seem a bit self-centered, but I have been through many trials and tribulations in my life and have taught myself this way of talking/acting from years of being on the opposite end of the spectrum and feeling so different from everyone else I built up a “wall” that I finally am starting to break down a bit… Anyways I was just looking for some advice from someone a little further along/successful in their career and what I should do next to start making a living off my passions.. Thanks for any and all responses; including constructive criticism! I wish you success in all your endeavors!

Hi Marie and Cathy, thanks for a wonderful interview. I wonder if you could comment on a fear of asking for money? I have a tiny house on the beach in Mexico. It’s taken me 8 years to develop the land and build a little house and now I want to install satellite internet for my guests who want to use the house for their creative and research projects.
I am in the middle of putting together a Kickstarter campaign but I’m struggling with guilt about asking friends and family for money for something that is essentially a personal project although I am doing this to make it appealing to others.

I also don’t know what to offer for little rewards for the donations. They don’t allow gift cards which was my first thought.

Another strategy to consider is really thinking about who you’re selling to, and how to communicate the value of what you’re doing to those people. While a Kickstarter might seem a little different, you can use many of the same strategies as you would if you were selling a product. Here are a couple of my favorite episodes about conveying value that might provide you with some helpful tips:

This was so great to hear .
I’m at the very beginning stages of implementeing two businesses and I too have a fear of getting overwhelmed and not being able to “keep Up” with things etc…I love love love these videos they are EXTREMELY HELPFUL…please keep them coming ..Im a Fan and soon hope to find myself among the other movers and shakers…
peace love and much light to you
Denise 😉

This video is pretty intense and I’ll have to watch it a few times to process the concept of working with your subconscious. It makes tremendous sense and it’s a very powerful message to absorb. I just attended a great workshop (about silencing your inner critic) where we used improv to not overthink ideas, just respond in the moment, trusting that our immediate answer/reaction is fine. There was a lot of laughter in allowing ourselves to let go and just act.
This is a great video to share; there are a lot of us out there that have great vision in front of us and get tripped up or stuck. I am definitely putting these 5 steps to practice. I periodically go back to a video by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called Flow, The Secret of Happiness – (http://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_on_flow?language=en) – these steps look to me like the secret sauce to get to that flow. Thank you for sharing this amazing teaching from Dr. Cathy Collautt.

Approaching a fear with love, acceptance and compassion is at the heart of Emotional Freedom Technique AKA EFT which is a tool I use with myself and clients to engender the kind of inner dialogue your guest speaks of. It is a specific method that incorporates the meridians used in acupuncture and provides a structure that can help make the steps she suggests go more smoothly.

I like your website. So,many good things that makes me feel Happy positively. I need your little help to eliminate every fear,conflict, doubt and fearful negative thoughts from the subconscious mind and not to pay attention to that when doing anything. can you send me an audio?

Thank you so much for checking out our episode, Diana. While we don’t currently have audio versions of our MarieTV episodes just yet, you’re welcome to tune in to this episode (or any of our episodes) anytime you’d like!

I wanted to THANK YOU for replying to this fabulous Q and for introducing us to Catherine and her brilliant explanation.
I must admit that watching this episode I had a “Aha” moment that I believe will change my perspective.

I too fear success and as Shauna, my big why is freedom, and I too I have been constantly sabotaging myself and the success of my business. Of course, I have my own personal baggage of which I am partly aware of, but never, before today, I had understood one tiny and fundamental piece of information. It is the step five that changed everything. So far, I have been reading I do not how many different types of self help books, from NLP to how to manifest things in your life to a course in Miracles, but somehow I had never come across how to change your beliefs. If your beliefs are not aligned with what you consciously want, you will never realise what you dream. It will remain a dream because you do not believe it can happen for you. I understand now that I needed to have proof, for my mind to be convinced that I can obtain what I want. And to do this I have to find examples of people that can be free and enjoy life and have success in life at the same time. This will show me it can be done and it is ok for me to be after success because I am not going to compromise my freedom.
Brilliant A to an awesome A.
THANK YOU
Every time

My fears are a little bit different and have nothing to do with the lose of freedom with success. On the contrary, I crave success because I feel it will give me total freedom to do the things that are important for me in life. But, I do have a fear and it has to do with thinking deep inside of me that what I do professionally speaking, is already been done by many people who is already successful. And that is what it freezes me out and it freezes my creativity, my ideas, my mind and makes me feel that what I can come up with is not enough to succeed in my business. :/ With that being said, I also know that these limiting beliefs are not the real thing and has nothing to do with the reality, so I am constantly re-directing my thoughts and replacing the negative ones with positive ones. At times it helps, but now I’m going to practice these five steps to make peace with my subconcious and stop the resistance, to move forward. 🙂

OMG – this was awesome! I honestly think I am blocking my own success, because I’m afraid I’ won’t be able to handle it. I’m afraid I’ll screw things up. My plan includes providing jobs for under underprivileged women, but I don’t know how be an “employer.” It all seems so overwhelming….too much for “someone like me” to handle. I’m going to work on the five steps suggested by Catherine. I definitely want to learn more about her as well! Thanks for an eye-opening video!!
Ellen

I SO hear where you’re coming from, Ellen. Sometimes our brains are our own worst enemies. I really love the tips Dr. Cathy shares in this episode, as they can help you rewrite or reframe those negative internal habits and stories we all have churning away in our subconscious. We’re cheering you on all the way!

Hi Amit! Marie and Dr. Cathy mention the 5 steps in the video in more detail, but here they are too for quick reference.

5 Steps to get subconscious mind on board with your conscious goals:

1. Be humble. Don’t assume you know everything about your resistance. Trust that your subconscious has something worth saying. Listen to the wisdom in your resistance.

2. Get specific. What are your fears exactly? What exactly is it that the subconscious is looking out for? Get details. Explore with genuine compassion. Applaud this info before you judge it.

3. Make a promise. Set an intention to work it out with your subconscious instead of working against it.

4. Get examples. Douse subconscious in positive examples of whatever it is you’re resisting. This is to let the subconscious know that it IS possible to satisfy all parts of the mind and have it all working together.

5. Solidify and affirm. Think of it as a reminder of what’s possible. Ex: “Success increases my freedom in life.” You can affirm anytime and as often as feels good, but before/after meditation, first thing in morning, and right before going to sleep are the best times.

I used to live by reward. It was what I deserved. Until one day, through mindfulness and being true to self, i found that I didn’t deserve any of the things I consumed or rewarded myself with. I worked hard and played hard and maintaained a family and church life…when I felt I needed a reward I would have a wonderful meal of 12 ounce prime Rib, Double Baked Smothered Mashed Potatoes, Butter Baked Yellow Corn and a basket of Yeast Rolls. I earned this All American privilage! Then I began to become aware of my body. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not leagally blind but I had not seen myself in years. My life had fallen to a point of living the American Mind Numbing Dream.. I had done it..Three children, sunday school teacher, three beautiful dogs and a home in the woods. But I had vanished..out of the mirror, out of the window glair and even out of the view of most…At four hundred pounds and living the dream, I was almost flat lined, dead. All energy had been bottled for just such occasions and work and rchurch committments. There was no free flow to my life. All things followed routine, clogged and twisted roads. They where familiar roads, so I stayed safe on my journey…Then there was a crash of sorts..I couldn’t even feel the pain of the crash..until some time later. Fast forward too current day (2015). I am humanist, sober, two hundred pounds lighter and more in love with my life than my senior year in high school! Thank you so much to all of the Mindful and Re-programer type people out here sharing their gifts…

Wow thanks so much. I think the two of you may have just changed my life. I’ve been pushing a couple of boulders up a hill for a long time now and recently came to the conclusion that ‘working harder’ just wasn’t going to cut it anymore.
This is exactly the sort of elegant and practical advice that I’ve been looking for. I can’t thank you both enough.

I experienced that problem like since I plan to fetter my studies and believe me you , I was always failing to do that even today and like this threaten my future a lot course I don’t see my self archiving in life .

I tried so many thing which they even created me a bed record so I don’t know If you guys can help me to focus on my mind and do the right thing , course every plan I do is failing every time mostly they fail be course of my lack of finance , I even tried to invest money I don’t know if that will help me or what course money is a problem to me.

Sometimes I even doubt my self course most of my challenges they threaten my throw Education stuff so it become so hard for me to do good things for my self course of my doubt and lack of self steam , I’m a 27yr guy need help.

Hi…First of all i want you people to know that you guys are doing an amazing job….keep doing…I just watched this video and i have somewhat a similar problem. I am an indian and my family is traditional and my problem is that me and my girlfriend (she is my close friends elder sister) are in serious relationship but shes is three years elder to me. we both want us to get married but we are scared that will our parents accept us and worst case is both of our parents are uneducated…So im so scared of our marriage…we both want to get married by both families blessings…..like my inner voice is just frightening me a lot….please help me…how exactly should i handle this….thank you…waiting for your reply

While watching this video, I had one burning question. How do you rectify some deep religious programming that’s in your subconscious mind? Because a lot of the religious programming that we receive as children includes “consquences” that cannot be proven or disproven. So for example if you were told that you were going to go to hell if you did so-and-so, how can you appease the subconscious’ fear of going to hell? How can you prove it? By saying I promise you I won’t go to hell? Or look this person did so-and-so and he’s still around he hasn’t gone to hell (yet!). You see you can argue all you want about whether hell exists but on a subconsious level it’s different right?
So how do you undo religious fears?

This is a really good question, Maram. It’s hard to know what to do in a case like this where the beliefs are so ingrained in a person’s worldview and identity. It may be helpful to seek professional expertise either through counseling or maybe there’s a book at the library on this topic. It’s definitely a tough thing to navigate!

I realized last night that I had a belief that I wouldn’t be able to make money running my own business. Once I realized this it made so much sense, as my parents started their own businesses several times, and all of them failed (mostly network marketing, but also a crafts business, doing marriage ceremonies, etc.). They all failed so miserably that most probably never even made a dime, and in fact they might have lost money. I’m not sure what the wisdom behind this fear is. The fear is of the heartbreak of another failed dream, but by not making money I’m already facing that struggle. So, what is this fear trying to help me avoid? In my mind it is only creating what I’m afraid of.

Great video and packed with many tidbits of information! I’ve tried small business opportunities four times in my life and am about to venture into another one; but want to take this opportunity to do it better along with doing it in such a way that the income that comes in can be shared with a non-profit charity to help single, young mother and women/girls in third world countries.

I am humble, so that is the first step in being teachable; but what has been pointed out to me from a couple individuals who I have done business with is that I have a “fear” of being successful. Light bulb going on! What I plan on working further on is where subconsciously this fear of success is coming from so that I can see if I can eradicate it so I can move forward in success.

My father and mother grew up during the “Depression Era” and I have a feeling that some residual effects spilled over onto my upbringing since I was around several family members who grew up in that timeframe. There are so many opportunities since that that have come about that I know that I need not be stuck in the past of my families’ stories; but I sense that I picked up on their fears of not having enough and/or what does the future hold for me. Our family were immigrants many years prior and so had established themselves well before the Great Depression hit. They were able to keep their land, homes, etc.; but as anyone would guess, it was a time of deep uncertainty for many individuals and families.

Anyway, I feel invigorated to move forward and to work on my subconscious learning so that any fears that seem to harbor in the recesses and caverns of my mind, will dissipitate with the right re-programming of positivity.

Thank you for making this video and all the nuggets of truth/inspiration within it.

Love that you are sharing this, but I think many may need the first step – how to tap the subconscious perhaps? Naming tips and tools like meditation, etc., may help clarify and empower many, to then engage the tools/steps you gave?

Great question, Susan and I’m happy to help. Meditation and mindfulness (awareness of the present moment) are some of the best and tried & true methods for starting to get in touch with your subconscious mind. Being able to notice those times when resistance is speaking to us is a really crucial step to starting to “reprogram” the subconscious.

Meditation and mindfulness practices don’t have to be complicated either — I sometimes meditate for 5 minutes per day myself, and even that small amount helps tremendously.

Many people (myself included) start to explore meditation through the work of Eckhart Tolle and his books, especially “The Power of Now,” but there are also some great resources online, in books, or also maybe in your local area.

Meditation really is such a wonderful tool, so I hope you enjoy checking out more about it if you don’t have a practice already. That way it’ll make it easier to tap into what your subconscious is telling you!

Thank you for sharing it in the comments, as I am aware with of it with many decades on this path … I just felt it might have been helpful if it was mentioned in the video, for those who may have felt a step was missing.

Great question, Scarlett. It sounds like you’ve got a heart for helping others, which we love. You might like this episode of MarieTV where Marie is discussing how to help others in a way that shows you honor their journey: https://www.marieforleo.com/2013/05/personal-growth/

Maria, I loved this video!! Cathy was so great at gently presenting in a way that just made me want to have that kind conversation with my subconscious. To really listen and allow my greater self to help me to understand what my true fears are. Then in doing this, be able to to make that promise and keep in alignment with what is truly important to me. I know the power to live an even more fun and abundant life is within me. Thank you so much for all that you give of yourself to assist others in making their dreams a reality.

Thank you for this! I have been working on this exact thing for a while now and had a breakthrough over this past month. I find myself paralyzed by fear pretty regularly over the past couple of years. It has wreaked havoc on my business and self. Over the course of the past year I came to learn through a lot of self-reflection (and not through the most positive and productive ways, mind you) that my greatest fear is rejection and feeling worthless when it happens. I reaffirmed this through this exercise. It is what is holding me back in my business (fear of being told no or ridiculed) and my life (choosing men who reaffirm my feelings). I get so far and then I find myself paralyzed by it and beating myself up for it and reaffirming those fears. It’s something I’ve struggled with in childhood and early adulthood, then again the past few years since my divorce (because of how it happened). This has helped me to put together a few more steps to ensure that I can and will overcome it. I already came up with my affirmation a couple of weeks ago: Rejection is the Universe eliminating that which does not belong.” Life changing stuff right here. THANK YOU both for this video. I was meant to stumble upon this site. Thank you, thank you!

This is a really interesting and useful presentation. You rock and your content is always substantive and “right on”. Bravo! Don’t Stop!
I”m in B-School right now, starting a new product business and I’m really enjoying the rigor. Thank you x1000.

Thanks so much, Marie & Team Forleo!
This proves you receive something when you need it.

Many things or thoughts have stopped me from attaining success – when I was 37 yrs old, I had a wonderful opportunity that ended up throwing my life into complete turmoil, I had a massive product order (I am a product based business) I make cute ornaments – for the Cracker Barrel restaurant & General store. This was in 2000 and they were still selling handmade items at that time. What a wonderful opportunity, right???

I prayed for this to manifest into my life and it did. At that time in my life, I felt anything was possible. I was young and energetic! After receiving the order, the dominoes in my life started to collapse; my husband of 4 yrs didn’t want to co sign for a loan against our house so I could get the finances I needed (thank God for fathers).
I didn’t understand contracts and didn’t have the guidance nor the extra money to go to a contract lawyer (I learned from this!).

There’s so much more to this story; but to give the Readers Digest version, I made the due date with the help of MY family. My Italian family of parents, aunts & uncles, cousins, second cousins, friends of second cousins! People showed up for an hour or two to help here and there. My husband, the one I wanted to turn to was envious. I came out w $50 profit after that, and a will that was so broken that I gave up for a while.

I love creating and kept doing little craft show, etc. Etsy came along and helped start a flame but I struggle. After working on our marriage, my thoughts now have completely shut down success the way I saw it before and am having a challenging time envisioning again. Everyone who once helped and supported me, are now in their 90’s or have passed away. My beloved cousins now have families of their own, and it’s difficult to see where the support will manifest from.

But I know me and finally took the step w BSchool, and Marie & Team, I could not have even reach the above conclusion if I hadn’t stepped out on faith, by signing up. Now, I’ll go check out Dr Cathy for added help!
Take care and
Thank you for all your hard work & in helping others in life.
Love ya
Nancy!

Omg, this was one of the most amazing 14 minutes I’ve ever listened to!! Dr. Cathy’s 5-step plan was laid out in the most easy-to-digest way possible. Definitely have felt this fear, and I may actually be experiencing it now. I’ve always believed in taking quiet time to listen to your Higher Self and using affirmations to mold your subconscious, but Dr. Cathy’s advice on being humble and *honoring* your subconscious was totally game changing. No longer do I feel a need to be tense and stressed about all the hidden fears within my subconscious, I can approach with gratitude on all facades and layers of my being now. I can’t explain how liberating this is. I can’t wait to get in better touch by using this method…been struggling for the last week at a crossroads where I’ve been feeling incredibly tense about all the different possible paths before me. Using this approach, I feel like I can reach more inner peace with whatever decision I choose now. Thank you Dr. Cathy! Thank you Marie! <3

This is absolute best for the struggle OF MY LIFE. Being an immigrant, my fear is to not be able to be near my family again because I chose to be in the U.S. However, I did choose one the best industry to be in in order to achieve that international success I need to be able to live on both continents. Huge Thank you!

My fear is how it will affect me being a great mum who is around to support my kids to their greatness. With 3 kids aged 15, 14 and 10 I want to be around them to teach and support them with physical, emotional, financial and spiritual wisdom. So it’s the fear that success will take me away from being around the kids as their main caregiver to teach them as they grow when they need me. My goal is to make them interdependent, not dependent, not co-dependent, not independent. Does that make sense?

Thank you! Marie and Kathy. I am more confident than I use to be because of fear. Fear that I was not have the right information to share, fear I did not know enough, would not be accepted and a long list. I have been sabotaging my self for a long time. Even though I would verbalize how I would like to launch my business my thoughts were contrary. I became very discouraged and lost a great amount of interest in what I was once passionate about, but never gave up. A great part of my life was lived as a introvert until I build the courage to join the TMC (Toast Masters club that was a great help. Sticking with B-school and reading,studying is helping re-kindle my passion. This sharing, teaching, instruction part of our B-school bonus is rich and on the dot. Marie you continue to deliver. Thank you, thank you Marie and Kathy.

Thank you so much, Netilia! It’s wonderful to hear you’re in B-School and are enjoying the materials. It’s great to hear how B-School and Toast Masters have helped you build your business! You’re doing great work and we’re super happy for you. 🙂

THANK YOU! I can’t wait to check out the guide. I grew up in an abusive environment and can relate to the “you’ll never – you can’t”. My dad even told my sister she must be sleeping with the boss or she would never have gotten the promotion. Sad! Although I wasn’t supported in my independence or education I was determined to do just the opposite of what he wanted. With a super supportive husband, I graduated from college at 40 and helped so many others build their business over the years. Now pushing my late 50’s I want to build a business for my husband and I. This is so timely for me and ties right in with my recent venture into yoga and finding myself again. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Janice, you’re doing AMAZING work. I’m so glad you didn’t let an abusive and unsupportive family member stop you from following your dream and trusting your instincts. I have no doubt your impact on the world will be felt far and wide 🙂

You give me hope and strength that I can still alter my life. After being brought up in not the best possible way and feeling my life has been destroyed and there is no hope, light is starting to show up.

I love your videos! They are always so inspiring!
I am in fear right now too and that is keeping me from taking action. For some reason I don’t think I’m good enough and think I’m going to fail or not deliver what is expected from me. I am not even sure if that is the only fear that is harassing me right now. I quit Architecture school to become a raw vegan chef as I noticed that everyone around me gets inspired to eat healthier. I love that and love helping and showing people how to eat better. I currently teach classes (only a few a month, not enough to pay the bills) and bartend at nights and weekends. My biggest fear is that I will not be able to make my business profitable and not have a career that provides me financial security, freedom of time, or pleasure. Bartending can be fun, but definitely not what I want for much longer. I think of going back to school “just in case” I don’t succeed on my own, but that will keep me busy and away because I am not even sure what I want to go to school for. All this indecision is killing me! I meet a lot of people who love what I do, but some people closer to me tell me I’m crazy for thinking I can be successful by being a raw vegan chef because it’s too much of a niche market. I know that we have to believe and take action and things start to take place. However, even though I am aware of keeping a good attitude is key, I cannot seem to transform that into a feeling and always feel stressed and afraid and put myself down. Any suggestions? How do keep motivated to keep going?

Great video! My issue has always been very deep beliefs of inadequacy and rejection, which results in a severe inferiority complex. Not because how I feel about myself (I think that I’m beautiful, attractive, intelligent), but how others perceive and respond to me. Others have a low opinion of me. I’ve experienced rejection in every area of my life, and it is debilitating.

Seems like everyone has it all, except for me. I’m glad that I found your site. I will look more into it.

Caroline, thank you so much for watching this episode! Dr. Cathy and Marie share some great tips here about re-programming your subconscious mind in general, and you can absolutely try out some of those tips for relationships.

That might look a little different for each person, as we all have our own unique challenges and goals in our relationships with others, but as an example, you might try out the second tip Dr. Cathy shares about asking yourself what you fear and consider that for relationships specifically. That could be a fear of commitment, fear of rejection, fear of putting yourself out there, or even more specific things that might be going on in your subconscious mind.

An example of a promise from tip #3 could be something like “I promise to work out these fears and show myself love” or “I promise to honor my own self care when I’m dating someone and make sure they’re a good fit for me.”

For even more on relationships, you might like to check out Marie’s book, “Make Every Man Want You.” You can find a paperback copy on Amazon or perhaps at your local library, and we also have an audio version too: https://www.marieforleo.com/memwy/

That book includes some great overall relationship tips, and it’s also a wonderful resource for learning more about yourself and honoring who YOU are.

I stumbled upon this post after a google search and am so grateful that I did. I am a 25 year old musician who often struggles with the fear of success. Every time I find myself getting closer to reaching my goals, I back down. I have a beautiful group of people in my life that continue to encourage me to pursue my dreams, but I often find it to be very challenging. When I speak about it, it is very clear that I want success, but the more I sit with the idea of it, the more I find myself to be fearful of success and feel unworthy of it. As I read the post, I was immediately overwhelmed because each word resonated so incredibly well with how I am feeling. I am so glad to have been able to find this video and have since shared it with a bunch of people in my life. Thank you for not only speaking about something that often goes unspoken, but for giving good, honest advice on how to dive a bit deeper into this! <3

great topic and great suggestions. Changing our blueprint is doable when we learn to recognize what our subconsious is all about. I would love to read more and I am not locaing the PDF that you all are mentioning being at the end of the video. can you direct me or post the link in response? Thank you!

If it doesn’t download automatically when you click on the link, you can right click on PC or control-click on Mac and select the “download as” or “save link as” option. If you run into any trouble, please feel free to reach out to our team at info AT marieforleo DOT com and we’ll be happy to help!

Powerful video. 14 minutes of mind-bending, yet simple, stuff. Thank you, Marie & Cathy, for sharing pearls of wisdom. The information you shared will benefit everybody who wants to lead a life of significance.
Marie, I have been following your work since a few years and my life (productivity) has definitely changed for the better.

Thank you!
I’m dealing with the same, for totally different reasons, but the same!
I’m procrastinating on my PhD and this amazing video made me think about the whys and about how to deal with it once and for all!!!
Thank you so much!

Hi Marie,
I love your videos and have been a fan now for a couple of years. This last year I’ve started an online business which is building slowly but like Shawna I’ve had a subconscious black from a past business which sucked all of my freedom from me, so this was a perfect video for me at this point in my business. Thank you so much Marie. 💜

This video was INCREDIBLE. I’ve heard this message several times, but the way it was put in the video really hit home for me. I did an exercise of asking my subconscious mind why it doesn’t want me to be successful, and it came up with a laundry list of items. Do each of those need a promise? It feels crazy to see so many things coming up for me. Is that normal? Hah. 🙂

Great video about power of subconscious mind!!
Subconscious mind will accept any suggestions,however false. Having once accepted any suggestion, it responds according to the nature of the suggestion given. If a practiced hypnotist suggests to one of his subjects that he is cat or a dog, he will act out the part with inimitable accuracy.
Simple concept explained easily in video.
thankyou!!

Thank you for making this video public. I can relate to this question since I am having a similar concern. I have been applying the techniques given by Bob Proctor in “You Were Born Rich” video series and my overall circumstances have improved. BUT after watching this life-changing discussion between you & Dr Cathy, I am sure I will be able to take-away these tips and incorporate them in my life.

I have bookmarked this page & will go through this video multiple times over the next couple of weeks until I “get it” and a paradigm shift takes place within me. I believe that what I do with my subconscious mind, indeed, holds the key to my success 🙂

I have a small query – do vision boards help us in any way (as told in “The Secret” movie)?

Great question, Singh, and we’re so glad you enjoyed this episode! Regarding vision boards, I think that’s definitely something that’s up to each individual person. I know people who have vision boards and swear by them, and I also know wildly successful people who have never had a vision board.

We always recommend giving anything a try if it sounds appealing to you – it’s all about experimenting and finding what works for you. If something helps give you clarity and helps inspire you toward your goals, go for it!

I have struggled with the fear of success since I have been willing and actively working on my own business. My subconscious fear of success feels bogged down, location locked, overburdened and under-appreciated. I am so incredibly grateful for this episode as I strongly believe in the subconscious power and know that we create our own reality. I can’t wait to try these steps and see how my life unfolds. Thanks ladies!!!

This was so great! I recently had a related experience involving getting my subconscious to work for me rather than against me. I’ve always truly loathed “inner child” type of work, because to be honest, I thought they were just new age hooey. The super abbreviated back story is that I have been going through a breakup and have just been unable to move forward. Like seriously STUCK. So I went to this workshop about surviving your partner’s betrayal/affair (it’s really icky). The last part of it was this meditation where we visualized a safe room or house, went to a window and sat down next to our little girl and just asked her what she had to say.
I did the exercise because I trust this woman, and I wanted to be a good sport. Man! I was so shocked. I discovered by listening to her — which is a very deep part of my subconscious that I truly was completely oblivious to — that down deep, in my youngest part of me, I was refusing to leave him. My childhood was violent and scary and unpredictable. I married and quickly divorced a repeat of that garbage in my 20’s. (Fail fast. Learn faster.) This man that I have spent nearly 2 decades with, while yes, he was a player after all, and he just shattered my heart, BUT he never raised a hand to me, no guns, no drugs, no drug dealers, no brothers just out of prison living in our basement, no yelling, no verbal abuse, and his whole family is so lovely and loving. He just … worked late. A lot. So, this home felt “safe.” Even though it was an emotional time bomb. I can’t stay asleep, and I finally looked in his phone. (like — watch Beyonce’s two videos on YouTube: “Hold Up” and “Sorry” to get the full picture, if you’re so inclined or have a similar experience and need a representation outside yourself for healing). Anyway, YES, my subconscious mind needed to get on the same page so that I can leave (I’m actually still working on it… the leaving part), and now, after seeing this video, I have even more tools and pieces of the puzzle to get my courage up while I do B-School to get my $$ up. Being broke and reliant on your man is one bad situation that I’m so grateful I get to correct right now. You should always have “walk away” money. I used to until the last couple of years… So now, I’m watching success stories, other women get their wins, and chanting affirmations. I use a whiteboard marker to write them on my mirrors all over the house and say them as I pass by every day all day. This video really helped me to connect all the dots that I have been doing so that I can make them far more effective. Thank you so much for this and every one of your videos. I watch them, look forward to them, and am alway inspired by them. I have never watched one of your videos where I didn’t get an awesome take away. Please, take good care of yourself and keep on doing what you do, because I really don’t think you have any idea how many people (like me) who just really need help scaling the wall of grief and financial depression back into the land of the living.

OMG! This was genius! Talk about divine timing. I happened to see the video referenced in the Marie’s latest email for B-School and so it brought me here. Wow! Dr. Collautt has become one of my favorites. Oh the subconscious, why haven’t we learned more of this before? Took lots of notes and also printed out the bonus guide she offered at the end. Wow!
Thank you so much, Marie, for knowing what I need, before I even know what that is. And having the most incredible, inspiring people interviewed to share their knowledge and wisdom with us.
xoxo
Giovanna

Hi Marie – I so enjoyed this episode in particular because I, too, can appreciate and identify with Shauna’s plight. So this episode was enlightening for me. As a result, I have tasked myself with interviewing other women whom I consider “successful”. My questions surround the integration of pursuing success in the professional/business arena as well as close family connections (husband, kids, family and friends) – and this is my biggest concern. Subconsciously, I’m not sure if this is achievable – or if it is – I need to hear from others; specifically where have they been most challenged or experienced fallout, what have they done to “right” it and what processes/strategies to they consistently apply to keep things in check and thriving? (On a side note, this is the biggest reason why I haven’t signed up for B School yet…)
Thank you for all that you do for us!

Thanks so much for sharing your concerns with us and being a part of this great conversation, Molly! Success looks different for different people, so we encourage you to find the definition of success that most resonates with you. (Marie talks more about this here: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/03/definition-of-success/) If that’s a blend of business and family, that’s awesome! You’re not alone there at all––many entrepreneurs also have families and often one of their main reasons for wanting to work for themselves is to spend more time with their families and provide a better life for them.

As for B-School, it’s an entirely self-guided program and we give students lifetime access so you can work at your own pace. That means you never have to miss a family obligation, work, or other important things in your schedule. You can fit in the program when you have time. Feel free to email us at bschoolATmarieforleoDOTcom if you have any additional questions.

Hi Marie,
Very interestnig conversation! The subconscious is so unknown and mysterious, very interesting. Like so many viewers, I can also relate to Shauna.

Having discovered these videos relatively recently, I noted that this is one of the earlier shows. I am curious re: feedback. I am going to check this thread as I would love to hear from viewers who tried these steps. What did they experience? How are their lives after using these steps? I feel quite excited to try and learn more!

Marie, I just came across this video on YouTube and I’m SO glad I watched it! I had known for a while now that I had some mental blocks regarding the subject of success, and money. Through meditation and a lot of internal awareness, I realized what the issue was, but (and here’s where this video was a game changer) I had yet to make that “Promise” (Step 3) with my subconsciousness, that I would do my best to hold on to my values regardless of how successful I became. After doing that simple step, it was like the weight of a thousand bricks lifted off my chest! I can’t thank you and Cathy enough for sharing this very important topic. I would love to hear more on this subject in your future videos!

p.s. I’m new to your channel, and I gotta say Thank You for what you’re doing, it’s such inspiring work!

Thanks so much for tuning-in, Rebeca! We’re thrilled that this interview resonated so deeply with you. Congratulations on all of the amazing progress you’ve been making so far. We hope Cathy’s message will continue to inspire you as you work toward your goals.

Hi, I’m doing a B-school at the moment and this link came at just the right time. At the moment and my biggest fear is that to put the work in necessary to launch a successful business will cost me my health that is already suffering. Luckily, I think of several examples of MS patient that are successfully sharing their knowledge with the MS community and beyond.
Thank you Marie

Wow. Wow. Wow.
I shared this before it was 2 minutes in! Such simplicity and clarity. AND there’s a Fun Sheet! 🙂 This will go on the list of things I watch regularly.

I definitely have a fear of success. Dr. Collautt gave me a solid, actionable plan to find out what is really going on in that amazing and powerful subconscious of mine: “What’s up in there, pretty little protector? Why are we so afraid and how can we work this out together?” Now I have a direction in which to explore!

I loved watching this video and so resonates with me as well. I need to interview my subconscious mind a bit more what the fear of success is really about. I have the sneaky feeling there’s another layer to this that I am not aware of yet.

And I am actually going to do the same for my relationship as well. There’s a lack of committment mirrored to me in my intimate relationship(s) that I feel has something to do with my own subconscious thinking as well (or course!) that I want to investigate.

I really do appreciate this collaborative approach vs fighting or overruling the subconscious with various methods. I’m really very curious how this will work out… 🙂

YAS Daniella! When we dance with our subconscious we create a relationship that works with us and we understand it more. We’re so glad to have you in B-School exploring these aspects of yourself and your dreams. Big hugs!

Love this ❤️
I am now struggling with the belief that if I want to work with my perfect client I won’t be able to economically sustain myself. I did the exercise and I said to my subconscious that I will go gradually in switching my job from a general offering to a more niche offering. I will need to do some adjustment, explore new things I am excited, I believe Life is worth living when live fully, when we are able to express and know our highest potential. Love and bless to all on the path 🦋❤️🌎

This is the most helpful video of all to me so thank you so much to Marie and to Dr. Cathy.
I am trying to create an energetic shift where I end my enmeshment to the idea of being a victim and move out of a reactive space into a proactive space. I am making some gains here where I feel more like my true self even though I am acting in a new way, breaking the enmeshment. Yet I still need to stop being co dependent and figure out how to do what my conscious wants: get in shape; eat healthy; work out; launch an online business; write a book. While I am closing the energy of victim, I am still having issues around Deserving and am still having the self conscious message of you are not good enough, only work for everyone else and fill your time meeting their objectives not your own. Thoughts?

Wow!!!! I loved this episode. My specific fear is I just don’t have the knowledge or resources to make my business a success. My subconscious thinking has always been that I have no earning power. People are drawn to me, they seek my advice and wisdom, yet my subconscious will always tell me that you are silly to think you could really have anything on your own. This was an amazing episode for me. I am actually in tears. Thank you!

Oh Suzie, we’re glad that this was a touching episode for you. You are absolutely capable of creating a living from your gifts – we believe in you! Remember, your thoughts aren’t true, and you have the power to flip this around. As you said, people seek out your wisdom! We hope you’ll find these exercises in reprogramming your subconscious beliefs helpful. You CAN do this!

Thank youuuuuuuu so much Marie & Cathy for this insightful 10 min episode filled with deep wisdom! I feel it’s a universe sent guidance to me while I am going through a massive transition in my life including career transition. I just did the work by stopping the video on each step and Eureka!!!! I had a very good idea of my subconscious blocks but today various pieces of the puzzle just came together showing me a clear picture, hurrayyyyy!!!!!
Thank you, my ladies, for doing this much good for the world. I love you, deeply respect & honor you and the choices you make every day which make you, who you are and what you do!

I started working from home to make extra money as a single mom working a FT job and going to school pursuing a chemical engineering degree. As a result of starting my business I improved my health, and learned the opportunity of becoming a business owner. Within 2.5yrs I grew my business to an income of $257,000. However- I did not personally grow as fast as my income. I felt unworthy and made very bad decisions to lose my team & income. It’s been more than 14yrs that I have “tried” to rebuild, but just can never get the focus back. I now work a Corp job, and do my business on the side. After much personal development- I not only want it all, I believe I can have it all. The loving, juicy relationship; the successful business; and to be an inspirational leader in my community. Thank you for these interviews! As I listen, I continue to learn, grow and develop. The best is yet to come for me & so many more!! 🥰

I have been working through my fear of success for the past six months and I can’t wait to implement the steps in addition to the affirmations and energy work I’ve been doing.
Personally, my fear of success relates to not having enough time for my family. I look forward to immersing myself in exemplary examples.
Thank you! I needed this!

Another way to get in touch with your subconscious is hypnotherapy. I was depressed for a long time and I felt very undeserving of success due to an abusive past that left me feeling worthless. I tried Rapid Transformational Therapy devised by Marisa Peer (she’d be a great guest for you, Marie – her work on ‘enoughness’ is amazing) and I felt so much better that I decided to train in RTT myself.
Getting your subconscious to let go of it’s reptilian need to protect us from harm is so tough. Our subconscious wants us to stay small so we don’t attract the attention of others that might throw us out of our tribe. It wants us to fit in and not be different, again so we don’t get ostracised. Being thrown out of our tribe meant certain death when we were cavemen – not so much nowadays!
RTT helped me to let go of my beliefs and change them around in just a couple of sessions. It’s amazing, really and it fits in so well with what Dr Cathy advises.
Thanks for such a brilliant episode. A gem as always.

This is all good and I can see the reasoning behind the steps. The affirmation step (step 5) is something I’ve been trying to do for a while as well after reading the Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Murphy.

I’ve also been trying other methods, but I find them ineffective for the most part because they all seem to pivot on this one point that you know the source of your problems. In the video, it was the fear of success.

HOW do you find this out? I feel like my issues are subconscious in nature and I am having a very hard time nailing it down to something I can work with. I keep going around and around trying to use these methods without success and am at the end of my ropes after decades of struggle and failures – pretty much ready to call it quits for good and just barely hanging in on telling myself “just one more”.

Hi Tom! We totally hear you, it can be tough to really get to the root of our subconscious patterns. Keep being honest with yourself, reflecting, and exploring. It’s all a process of learning and growing!

Thanks, Julia. Took a look at the videos. Good content and message on their own, but doesn’t really help with how to identify the source of my fears. I can generalize them as fear of failure or fear of rejection, etc… but feel that they are too generalized to a point where it’s more of just strings of words that don’t mean anything. Kind of like being able to phonetically read a word in foreign language without knowing its meaning or implication.

I’m not sure if I make a lot of sense, even to myself. I have been living with this foggy blanket or cloud of something in my head for decades and guess it’s how it’s going to be… Thanks though for your reply and suggestions.

I actually had a lot of negative energy, basically being uncomfortable in a bad way which I didn’t realize was good for me including: Fears, stress and/or anxiety which I was unaware of in the past. ” Originally I didn’t realize I had a fear of failure and also refered to as “Self-sabatoge” overcame by remembering “Excellence” not perfection, I make mistakes and can learn from them, YES I CAN and learning how to drive. Then, also dealing with negative emotional/false projections of those fears which at the time was really scary at the time because I didn’t know what was going on but now I know exactly how through identifying the source of the negative energy, shadow work and now positive reinforcement thanks to you.

In addition, I learned from them in the process of learning alot of positive reinforcement for myself through bibliotherapy, shadow work and now positive reinforcement (including the wisdom from within as well as positive others with caring and compassion) or “Reprogramming. Now, I am working on negative energy and thoughts which go back to shadow work and reprogramming which basically sounds like alot but have been learning from my mistakes and reprogramming in a nutshell in order described previously and I can’t tell you how helpful it’s been because now I realize it’s just positive reinforcement lacking along with everything else been working on and I think altogether for me it comes back with being I call most books refer to as an (old) comfort zone or I call, “Bad comfortable” with old negative thoughts energy and habits and I have to say besides physically rewarding myself having fun like a kid I think this may be the delicious key ingredient! The last few bits were delightful actually in very order with “Reprogramming myself” and actually had a dream this morning including my subconscious basically hinting I am on the right track. Thank you for helping! I’ve learned a lot, bless you for covering this topic.

Hi Marie, very actionable information in the video, The fear is always there in me but Iam always aware of my fear like at what point it’s gonna come and at what point it’s gonna go. perhaps the above video is very useful to improvise my awareness and be successful in my life. Thanks to Dr.Cathy.

Hi Raghav, we’re so glad to hear this video was helpful. It sounds like you’ve been able to build some clarity around your fear (yay!) and you are doing the work to improve. We’re sending you lots of encouragement to keep going!

Yes, I use to struggle with the belief that success would take away my freedom. But step 5 really helped me. I changed my belief about what success would mean. It went from being “success will take away my freedom” to my new belief, “I AM free because of the increase of success in my life.” Now since I have activated this new belief in my mind it is fun when I meet with challenges. And that worked out well with the fact that I had always originally associated things that are fun with freedom. Change your thinking/beliefs, change your life.

Marie, I found you on Impact Theory (thanks Tom) and I’ve loved you ever since. I can’t wait to read the new book!
This is amazing and my first time meeting Cathy and I love her too!
I currently have an underlying fear that I think is sabotaging my success. The fear of being “out there” and the uncertainty that could follow. I have been very private on the internet (and for good reason) and I’m afraid if my business takes off like I think it will, it means I will be vulnerable and no longer able to protect my family the way I wish. Too many horror stories of bad stuff happening to people, and you think, if only they had kept to themselves. Maybe it’s a little crazy, but I think others may have this fear also. Kidnappers, stalkers, whatever….. I’m just sayin’ I feel there’s a lot to think about when it comes to privacy and security.
How can I get past this and not be afraid to be online as MYSELF.
Your Friend, Annette

Thanks so much for your kind note to Marie! We’re delighted Cathy’s interview resonated with you.

You’re absolutely not alone in these fears. Many people, especially introverts, have difficulty sharing themselves online for a myriad of reasons. Privacy being a very big one! Once something’s online, it’s there forever.

The question you might ask yourself is: is it worth staying quiet? Is it worth the pain of coming to the end of life not having shared your gifts? One of Marie’s favorite books is The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware. The biggest regret: “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself.” You can watch Marie’s interview with Bronnie here: https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/02/live-without-regret/

Another thing to think about is setting boundaries around what you’re willing to share online. If there are certain topics or people that are off limits, you don’t have to share them. For example, many moms choose not to post their children’s faces online, especially when they’re young. Ultimately, you can create an online presence that feels good to you while also not holding back from sharing your gifts.

You’ve got this, Annette! All of us on Team Forleo are cheering you on!

Such a great episode! Thank you!! Realized this year especially as my word is “Freedom” that everything that opposes that e.g. Bondage has been coming up for me to face. Part of this was layers of limiting beliefs from past experiences and choices of “making money is hard, will require me to give up my health again, I can’t make money creating what I love, makimg money = not being and doing what I love how I love with who I love, making money = being controlled by others.” Step by step I’ve gotten to yes reframe, act from all new spaces, draw on countless examples both within myself & others the last 7+ years that I am free & walking in freedom of all forms” Great to hear confirmation & great to hear the framework & fully giving myself & yourself freedom to be / do new too! Thank you!! and loved your recent episode again on Impact Theory wtih Tom!

Interesting – this is precisely my approach in working with clients with one big difference – working with that resistance as it manifests in the body. Our habits, emotions and values plays out through our bodies which are always adjusting and giving us nonconscious messages that, with deep listening, can be dialogued with in the curious and compassionate way Marie’s guest is describing. I have found bodywork and meditation equally valuable for self-inquiry when resistance sets in. This is one of my favourite interviews. It’s important for people to know that affirmations are not the first step, and that willpower alone is insufficient.

Good day
A bit of my brain tumors
Story…..
I was about 21 when I was in a major train accident and had major head injuries and it left me paralysed for a few months or sooo as my pelvix bones were broken as well. I am a 50 year woman who worked for Nebank for 27 years then this traumatic events started . We were moving office from one floor to another and I fell up the stairs with boxes in my arms and aged 22 bumped my head that time my colleague laughed and said they never heard of a person falling up the stairs but only down the stairs.
The doctor that time said my tumours is inherit from 3 generations meningioma and malaama passed and is stress related and he suggested that we move out of the residential area. Which we did. But neverless I lost everything my husband my beautifull plot my children my friends all my personal en sentimental belongings due to my personality changes, emotional insecurity, social phobia, memory loss, Nobody understood the changes in me, not even me do now. I had 4 brain operations over a period of 15 years. The first in 2001 half of my hair was shaved of to open my scalp to remove the tumour, the second 2002 the back of my left ear that leave me partial deaf the 3 rd in 2011 on my frontal right lobe eye what started with losing my eye sight the last in 2015 in my right frontal lobe.. which created a personality change which I battled to accept and it is difficult for my family as well. My children think I am putting up a act to get attention. I am losing my eye sight I think the last one was the most difficult one due to my age and it created a personality change which is difficult to accept by myself and family and I am scared for people that I did not know before the operation. I have no words to explain my condition, I cry every day and is tired and sleep most of the time. I am unbalanced and dizzy if I stand to long I cannot even go shopping. I went through a divorce and into a relationship which made every thing more confused as I did not understand why are everybody treating me like a baby and never left my side for 24/7. It felt that all know something but dont want me to know. I believed I was crazy but my family resued me. Well I believe I am able to cure with professional help / sponsorship or even if reseach is done on me to better technology. I am prepared to relocated for studies to be done on me. I want to be better a person with wealth and health and happiness and success and love than before. I am under 24/7 care but believe I am able to heal 100% with God on my side and professional help. I constantly change living arrangements within the family as they do not know how to handle my moods and I cannot live by myself . I have emotional issues as I cry a lot and my family want me save and happy. I have short term and long term memory loss and it seem that no one understand me and I have no reason to live anymore. I was once admitted to Akeso Clinic and one in Randvaal area but I turned out worse and know i am with family in Heidelberg always family with me 24/7 as I get lost and all funny things happen to me. So I am never alone….. I were everywhere with the family Durban, Cape Town, but had no professional help just loving family protecting and caring for me for the past 4 years.
The Brackenhurst clinic referred me to Alberton North physo who wanted me go go to Sterkfontein hospital but my family said noooo
Once a month the family comes together and dress me up and make me beautifull for photos but that makes me even more emotional. They love me soo much and also want to see me as I use to be and I know I am breaking theirs hearts as they see me deteriorating .
My family know I won’t ever be able to work due to this condition i have. I have both short and long term memory loss. I mix my words and numbers and are a threat to myself at home when left alone as i forget to put off the stove and to close the bath tap and forget who is who i drink the wrong tablets, gets lost looses count for 3 to 4 days etc. I need my family or fiance to give it to me on regular basis. . I do not want to be a burden to my family and want to know if there ever be a possibility that I can live a normal life again . I come out of a loving family with Christian upbrings and they support me 100% If not can you direct me in the right direction please. I am sooo scared and cannot go on this way of living I beg you out of my deepest heart to help to be a normal happy person again.
I know I look normal but the problem is inside my confusing head and I cannot think as I used to think and do not remember what and when I do what and forget what I wanted to say someting.
The knowledge I have cannot be taken away from me but My brain have difficulty to accept new information.
..I to apply for a disability grant at Sassa
JA referred me to Nasa Smartmind in Heidelberg who is doing case studies on me currrently.. as I have breakdowns and loose count of 4 or 5 days at a time.. I know i am high maintenance but do not want to be a burden or a laughing joke to anybody.
God is good….. All the time….
I cannot go on living this confusing,depressed, joint stiffness,scary,trustless, helpless, suspicious, emotional, anxious, panicfull, frustrating, irrational, dizzy, impatient, constipated way.
[02/28, 10:48] ICAS also referred me to Sanca in Heidelberg who said they will refer me to someone else. I am still waiting for their call…
[02/28, 10:55] Vic: Icas reference me to Sanca in Heidelberg again 27/02/2018 and their response was the same as the last time. They cannot help me as my case is to complicated with my brain tumour and injury and with my long term memory and short term memory loss. But they gave me 2 numbers for dr in Vereeniging and in Alberton which my fiancee must phone for help.
He did phone but one is over seas and the other one works on a cash basis which I cannot afford.
Currently I am on prolax and epynoutin from the gov hospital in Heidelberg, Gauteng.
I buy solal amino acid naturally high now, I used hpt5 before,
And i also drink IPS energy tablets and need a serotonin increase
How can I become a normal me again. ..
I have recurring genetic multipule meningioma tumours and malamoma skin cancer according dr Snyckers,dr zorio and dr Torres-Holmes from Milpark. And they also said my brain do not produce serotonin (something inw my pineal glamd) any more.
My name is AV TROLLIP and my date of birth is 18/06/1968. I live in South Africa. [email protected]
0825968282
I got your info from the Internet
I am busy writing my story for 3 years now…
The dr said I must write everything down, and I am 50 years old now and I think I am getting better as I am starting to accept my personality changes and God knows what He has planned for me…
I meditate every night and listen to sounds to rewire my subconscious mind….i believe I am in a awakening stage but still very confused ..
I know get my meds from Heidelberg gov hospital . The dr psychic at Heidelberg referred me to the Psychiatrist in Ratanda dr Thoka who want to atmit me to Tara in Sandton but must first have a panel interview with various drs at Sandton and a discussion with my family…..
Die 12de Sept 2018 het Jan en Lief saam my gegaan na dr Thoka in Ratanda toe. Hy het hulle verduidelik wat en hoe dinge en kuier tye gebeur en vir hoe lank ek in Tara moet wees vir behandeling en hulp en dat ek 50 ste op di waglys is om opgeneem te word by Tara in Sandton
DR Thoka het ook al hulle vra en concerns geantwoord
I also try to live in the moment every day….i am a new me and want to grow further please help me as i need help to improve faster in my subconscious mind
I am starting to accept the other me and must adjust to it. I want to grow further and improve my condition and knowledge of the consious and sub consious mind.
My mental disorder can also be caused by my previous narcissistic marriages or child hood beliefs. I believe reseach could be done on my brain
Altough I have both short and long term memory loss and know I won’t ever be able to work in the open or public market as I am scared for people which I don’t know or any other person from my previous life. I believe God is working within me giving me wisdom to heal
..
My psychologist from Ratanda Dr T……….. diagnosed me with FRONTAL LOBE SYNDROME and the psychologist from Brackendowns life Mental Hospital Dr K……….. say I have bipolar as well. I was admitted here 06/06/2019 after I drank my pills wrong. again as my care giver was not around where I landed up at Heidelberg life in the ICU and signed my self out as I needed my Mom..
Please help me as I cannot live this confusing way anymore….
She was admitted to the Brackenview life Mental Health Hospital for 21 days from the 06/06/2019…
I feel like a other person as my personality has change since my last brain Tumour Opperations on my right eye with 100 different moments
I have been diagnosed with: recurrent /metastatic brain cancer, frontal lobe syndrome, personality change mixed mood and anxiety, neurologival seqeulae of above GMC, major neuro cognitive disorder and bipolar and unipolar depression
She is permanent unable to return to work
Please help us, or can you refer us to someone else you know
..
JG DE LANGE on behalf of AV TROLLIP
CARE GIVER
Sent from my Huawei Mobile
Thank you Vicki,for inspiring me .this is so horrible just reading it.
Hope you have a nice day .
Show quoted text

I feel like a other person as my personality has change since my last brain Tumour Opperations on my right eye with 100 different moments
I have been diagnosed with: recurrent /metastatic brain cancer, frontal lobe syndrome, personality change mixed mood and anxiety, neurologival seqeulae of above GMC, major neuro cognitive disorder and bipolar and unipolar depression
She is permanent unable to return to work
Please help us, or can you refer us to someone else you know

I am curious to know how Dr. Collautt sees the connections between spousal energies. If one spouse is bringing a fearful or sabotaging energy to a relationship, is there something the other spouse can do with their own thoughts and affirmations to help?

Hi, first of all thanks for the dense, useful information on the point.
What I will be looking at with this new information is my fear of “betraying” nature/mother earth when I become successful – which also means wealthy and well known. In my heart and connection with nature I stay natural, simple and grounded.
And in a way this is not compatible with my picture I have of success. In my struggle it is either success or staying natural. While writing I can grab a tiny edge of an option that this might not be so true after all. I am happy for any statement or experience in this direction and will dive into it now with your 5 steps. Thank you,