Wednesday, 17 November 2010

WHY WOMAN, WHY?!

A male friend of mine asked me the other day why women fake it. And by it, I mean IT. You know the ‘it’ I’m talking about. [Yes Mother, I really am writing about this]. I suppose this is one of the old age questions that men can never wrap their heads around because the answer is often not something they want to hear.

I of course told my friend the first thing that jumped into my head (and seemed the most harmless) which was that women are people pleasers. We just want everyone to be happy, often at the expense of ourselves. We are a very noble, selfless gender...or perhaps a bit too self sacrificing, I'm not sure which. Another reason is that sometimes it is just easier to fake it. How so you ask? Well any woman will tell you; sometimes it is just smoother for all involved if men think that they rang our monumental bell – so to speak. It strokes the male ego – and let’s be honest, men’s egos often need major attention; it allows us to avoid being the bad guy or go into a five minute explanation of why tonight it is just not going to happen, and everyone gets to go to sleep that much earlier. So it’s a win-win really.

On the other side of things [brace yourself guys] sometimes you are just not doing your job right. So instead of firing you on the spot, which could scar some men for life, we tell a little innocuous lie and make you think that your work performance is up to par. Trust me, you’re boss is probably doing this to you all the time. I bet you’re thinking well why don’t women just tell us the truth? Often we do. I mean, with one’s partner, I’m hoping that most people are far past faking it (you rock sweetheart), or I sure hope they are. Cause if not, you are long overdue for a heart to heart discussion, using a complex power point presentation. But if one is still casually dating, sometimes it is just a necessity to fake it and avoid the tedious three hour discussion on how Mr. ‘I Need to Prove Myself’ can get the job done right. Women are busy; we don’t have that much time to teach the slow learners of the world, especially those that are utterly convinced they're doing everything right (you're NOT).

Here’s the other thing about women. We fake a lot of things: our hair color, our height, our pant size (oh come on, you know you’ve fudged the numbers before), our age…hell these days one’s skin color isn’t even real. I keep asking people where they went on holiday only to be told they just got ‘sprayed,’ (with fake tan of course) like they have some flea problem. In fact I think we’re so good at faking it we figure why the hell not. It’s a power thing I suppose.

So next time guys, you feel compelled to ask yourselves why women fake it – the answer is simple…because we can.