Victoria Beckham warns women: “don’t mess with your boobs”

Former Posh Spice turned fashion designer Victoria Beckham has penned a poignant letter to her 18-year-old self, in which she opens up about everything from her marriage to David Beckham to her insecurities (“Do I relax on the beach in a bikini? No.”) to her regrets about having her breasts augmented.

The letter, which Beckham penned for British Vogue, offers incredibly candid insights about what goes on inside her head. Here are a few of our favourite quotes:

On beauty: “Let your skin breathe; wear less make-up. (And don’t ever let that make-up artist shave your eyebrows! The effects last forever.) You will always be addicted to Elnett hairspray but you will tone it down. Less of the “Hello! I just got stuck in a wind tunnel”, please.

On boobs:

“And I should probably say, don’t mess with your boobs. All those years I denied it – stupid. A sign of insecurity. Just celebrate what you’ve got.”

On dieting:

“At school you eat Super Noodles and boxes of Frosties because they say they are fat free, and you will endure many other silly fad diets (including an addiction to green juices). Instead, learn to embrace your imperfections – that is what I want to tell you.”

On self-esteem:

“I am still hugely self-critical, and because of that I can be a little uptight. My 60-year-old self would probably say the same thing to me as I am telling you now: enjoy yourself a little more. Be less image-conscious. Learn to relax. You are going to make mistakes – of course you are. You will be super-super-successful, but you will find out that you can lose it all much more quickly than you can earn it. That is a hard lesson to learn.”

“Love at first sight does exist. It will happen to you in the Manchester United players’ lounge — although you will get a little drunk, so exact details are hazy. While the other football players stand at the bar drinking with their mates, you will see David standing aside with his family. (He’s not even in the first team at this stage — you are the famous one.) And he has such a cute smile."

"You, too, are close to your family, and you will think how similar he feels to you. He’s going to ask for your number. (He still has the London-to-Manchester plane ticket on which you wrote it.) I’m afraid that most of your first dates will be in car parks, which is not as seedy as it sounds. It is because your manager, Simon Fuller, will warn you, 'Don’t let anyone see you out together or you’ll get hounded.'”