Shit that Pissed me off This Week – 4/13

Patriarch Krill I, the religious leader of millions of people, was photographed wearing a watch reputed to be worth over $30,000. In a country where that exceeds the annual income of most households, that’s a pretty big deal.

So then, the picture is photoshopped to make the watch go away. That doesn’t work because they forget to get rid of the watch’s reflection. How do you say “d’oh” in Russian?

D'ohsvidonia!

The church apologizes for the incident and calls it a “technical mistake.” With me so far?

So the Patriarch decides to take his asshattery just one step too far and he denies that he’s ever worn the watch, going so far as to claim that any picture showing him wearing the watch has been photoshopped.

He doesn’t say something like “yes, the watch was a gift and I liked it so much, I kept it rather than selling it” or “holy shit! It’s worth how much?? I had not idea!”

No, he says he’s never worn the damn thing and that there are a bunch of conspiracy theorists running around the internet gleefully cackling as they maliciously put watches on every picture they find. “That’ll show ‘im,” they laugh, “now the world will think he’s a materialistic scuzzbag when he’s actually not!”

The reality is the dude has been wearing the watch and rather than fess up, he lied about it. The leader of one of the most powerful churches in Russia lied.

About a fucking watch.

Side note: The dudes name is really “Krill?” I’ll bet whales scare the shit out of him.

“Nobody on Facebook will Repost this” Memes

Saw this one on FB on Good Friday:

Point of order: when Jesus died on the cross, he was probably thinking “man am I glad that’s over” or, quite simply “ouuuuuuch!” The odds of him specifically thinking “boy, I sure hope Tim Wick reposts that message that will be on Facebook in 2000 years” are pretty slim.

I hate these things in general, though, because they are so annoyingly smug. Look at me! I’m one of only 3% of people who will re-post this! Isn’t that sad?

Scott Walker and Republican Legislators repealed a 2009 law that allowed women to pursue equal pay claims in state rather than federal courts.

The practical result, of course, is that women who are being paid less than men to do the same job will have to spend a lot more time (and money) if they want a day in court. That’s great for businesses that don’t want to have to defend their pay practices but it sucks for working women who just want to get a fair wage.

Republican leaders keep denying that there is a war on women in their party but if they want that claim to be taken seriously, they need to back up their claims with actions.

In this case, the Catholic Church is looking to cut off funds to a charity that is trying to help immigrants start their own business because they are affiliated with another group that used to be partnered with a group that opposed LGBT discrimination.

That ain’t OK, apparently, because if there is one thing the Catholic Church has shown it fully supports, it is LGBT discrimination.

Because nothing says “Jesus is my Lord and Savior” like “If you don’t let me give bibles to public school children, I will FUCK YOU UP!!!!!”

What is the problem here? These kids can already get a copy of the bible at every hotel room in the world. If they built a hotel room in space, there would be Gideon bibles in the rooms before there was toilet paper. When I go camping in the back country, there is a bible on my sleeping bag when I get back from pissing on tree. If you want to make sure that kids have access to a bible (as if they didn’t already), how about you just tell their parents to take them on vacation?

Judd, apparently, looks slightly different than she did when she was younger. This has ignited all sorts of tasteless commentary about her appearance from people who feel that the fact her face is a public commodity allows them to make bad jokes about it.

OMG - she looks *awful!!!*/sarcasm

Judd takes them to task in her own opinion piece which is incisive and damning of sexist attitudes driven by both women and men.

While she is a public figure and she will always be subject to this kind of constant commentary, she has pointed out that the behavior directed at her is part of a larger public problem. One good op-ed piece does not completely excuse the film Twisted, but her commentary is a great observation about the image problems that face women in our society.

“The Hunger Games” is a fine book but the fact it made this list isn’t what makes me angry. What makes me angry is the simple fact that the list exists.

I’ll tell you what, ladies and gentlemen of the “my problem with this book is everyone else’s problem” club. You are wrong. If you have a problem with a book on the shelves of your library, the solution is very simple. Don’t fucking check it out.

To be fair, I’ll bet you that most of the people complaining haven’t checked these books out. They are just complaining. Because that’s what you do when you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.

Please don’t interpret this as support for Fidel Castro. His regime is hardly a perfect example of restraint and compassion. For instance, you don’t want to be gay in Cuba.

But look, this dude basically said “you have to respect a guy who has been in power for sixty years – especially given how many people want him dead.”

Which is true! It may not be something people want to hear but “true” has never been the equivalent of “pleasing.”

Given how many Cubans who (justifiably) hate Castro there are in Miami, he should have chosen his words more carefully. Even so, he said it in a country which values freedom of speech – especially when you don’t like what’s being said.

What the hell does “connected to” Planned Parenthood mean anyway? Does it mean that at least one former girl scout has used Planned Parenthood for – like – anything? If so, I’ll have to concede the truth of that statement.

So if the “connection” was just a class in which a Planned Parenthood representative taught girls about the changes they can expect to face in puberty, that would still be bad according to this guy – right?

PLANNED PARENTHOOD IS NOT A TOOL OF THE DEVIL!

Way to go dude! Get people to stop talking about the “war on women” by re-defining it as a “war on girls.” Sounds much more respectful.

Using bullshit statistics, the Romney campaign is suggesting that the real war on women is jobs lost under the Obama administration. I have a couple of problems with this.

One, the statistics are bullshit. They are bad bullshit. They aren’t spin bullshit. They are just bullshit.

Two, they are well aware that the phrase “war on women” has nothing to do with job loss or gain and everything to do with women’s reproductive health. Rather than addressing that problem head on, they deflect it in an attempt to alter the dialogue.

Thing is, the issue is real. In almost every state, the Republican party is pushing a dramatically radial anti women’s health agenda and the Romney campaign, sooner or later, will have to address it.

If this latest salvo is any indication, they will address it with bullshit.

I have concerns about shows that glorify teen pregnancy but I give Kail Lowry a lot of credit for knowing who she is in the face of fans who are looking for someone to blame for her beliefs. Check out her response to a tweet from a “fan:”

Holier than thou, much?

Way to go Kail! She doesn’t take lip from anyone, does she? As a side note, check out the profile pic of the person calling her ignorant. If that a picture of a naked woman on a couch or am I imagining things?

Odds are that we are looking at a picture of the Tweeter or their girlfriend and either way, I think they better back off on the “I’ll pray for you” BS as they seem to have need to atone for their own sins.

Rosen, apparently forgetting that staying home and raising a family is actually hard work, decided to say that Ann Romney “never worked a day in her life.”

And then, failing to learn anything from the last 50 years of American politics, she didn’t immediately back down because she screwed up. When you wait 24 hours to apologize, it just looks like you were pressured into the apology. Which, in fairness, is probably true.

You don’t attack the spouse of a candidate. It’s stupid. It has always been stupid. At least if you are talking about a male candidate. A Democratic “Strategist” ought to know that.

And when you do something as stupid as inadvertently insult every woman who has made the decision to stay home and raise her family, you apologize for it. Otherwise you take a bad situation and make it worse.

And look – I don’t disagree with Rosen in spirit. If Mitt is getting advised on women’s issues from his wife, he is getting advised by someone who is woefully out of touch with the average stay at home mom who doesn’t have the advantage marrying a member of the top 1%. Rosen chose her words very poorly, however, and became part of the side-show instead of part of the very important message.

Last minute update: In a classy move, the Catholic league and others choose to attack Rosen for having adopted her children (which is actually a good thing in a pro-life world) and for being a lesbian. In other words, she is being attacked not for what she said but for who she is. Give it time and you can expect to hear her called “bitch, whore” and “cunt.” I don’t like what she said but what the fuck is wrong with you people????

This young woman didn’t get married fast enough, it would seem. I don’t know why she failed to tie the knot with her boyfriend before they started engaging in a little hanky panky but I, of course, have no issues with what they did in the privacy of their own home.

End result of this action: a couple who will soon have an extra mouth to feed just lost 1/2 of their income. Someone tell me where Jesus advocated for that sort of thing. Is it Corinthians? I could never get all the way through Corinthians….

She is suing. The school will claim that because of the separation of church and state, they can fire whoever they damn well please for whatever damn reason they like and they’ll probably win.

What I keep wondering is this: if she’d gotten pregnant out-of-wedlock and decided to have an abortion, would they still have fired her?