Golf is a game played outside; but mostly played inside; inside your HEAD.

I recently had the fortune to spend some time at a golf seminar with Geoff Loughrey from the Michael Bannon Golf Team. Now, for those that don’t recognise that name, Michael was the PGA professional at Holywood Golf Club where he started working with 4 times major winner Rory McIlroy as a junior member, and continues to work with Rory to the present day. Geoff was Michael’s assistant at the golf club, where he trained to become a PGA Pro. It was interesting to hear about Rory’s early years and especially a view inside the mind of McIlroy!

Now, it must be said, that if the right mindset was paramount for top sports people, then surely the same can be said of top business people? Clearly this is the case and I honestly believe that even business aside, the right mindset can help you achieve in every facet of life.

Just what special ingredient do you have to have to become number 1 in the world, in your chosen profession?

What is it that stands the achievers from the also-rans?

It was evident, from a very early age that McIlroy had a desire to become world number one, and that feeling has never left him. Once he had achieved it, the goal is adapted, to stay there. During 2015, with the continued brilliance of the American Jordan Spieth and the Australian, Jason Day, snapping at Rory’s heels and claiming pole position, the desire is still burning strong for McIlroy to reclaim, what he sees as, his title. Visualisation is a wonderful tool and as a six-year old practising on the fairways of Holywood Golf Club, Rory would often visualise his name above that of his hero, Tiger Woods, on the leaderboard. So sure was he that he would achieve his dream, that when he was around 10 – 11 years old, he actually wrote a letter to Woods, introducing himself and telling Tiger, ‘I’m coming to get you’!!

The wonderful Clubhouse at St. George’s Hill Golf Club, Surrey. Taken on the approach to the 9th Green.

It was interesting to hear Geoff speak of the dedication of McIlroy with his practice routines and belief and that he surrounded himself with positives, in fact, those around him, his family and friends, coaches and fellow club members helped him grow up in a balanced way, always encouraging and emphasising all that was good with his game. How we could do with far more people such as that in the world! Geoff recalled a match he played against Rory the Youngster whilst he was assistant pro at the club. On a par 4, Geoff had put his ball on the green with his second shot whilst Rory had found the green-side bunker. Trying to psychologically upset McIlroy, as they both walked to the green, Geoff pointed out that he was on the green yet Rory had found the bunker. McIlroy’s response epitomised his positiveness; ‘Geoff, I LOVE bunker shots!’ to which he quickly dispatched the ball from the sand and it came to rest near the hole for a tap-in par 4.

Enjoying Brockett Hall Golf Club, Hertfordshire. Ex-Arsenal & Scottish Internationals, Frank McLintock & George Graham, winners and successful people in their own right.. how much belief did they have at the peak of their careers? A winning mindset is crucial in whatever you do.

So what can we learn from Rory’s mental approach in sport, business AND life?

Instead of dreading certain aspects, learn to enjoy them, in fact, even if that seems like a struggle, start to lie to your mind…. your mind is not fussed, in fact it’s quite used to it and will steadily start to interpret the new information you are sending it. Ever woken up in the night, having dreamt (or perhaps more accurately, having a nightmare) where you are falling? Now clearly you haven’t fallen, yet your mind thinks you have, your heart will be beating faster, your breathing shallow and perhaps even a cold-sweat; classic stress symptoms, because your ‘mind’ thought you were actually falling. It is therefore perfectly acceptable to lie to your mind (but here’s a tip… tell it only good stuff)!

Success favours the brave!

The Millennium Trophy. Won with an incredible amount of belief and taking on brave shots!

To succeed at any sport or in any business, decisions have to be made and not only do you have to make the ‘right’ decisions (or what you believe to be right decisions) you have to do so with bravery. Have you noticed how brave children are at many things, yet as we become older (and supposedly wiser) we tend to be more cautious. Ask a 10 year old child to go and climb a tree, they cannot wait to do so, and think about only reaching the top. Ask an adult to do the same, and the thought patterns are generally ‘I can’t do that, I haven’t climbed a tree for years, what if I fall’? Kids never think of that, they just focus on climbing the tree! One of my strengths in golf is putting, in fact I’m convinced I’m going to hole every putt. Many others take on the mindset of ‘get it near the hole’ or ‘what if I miss’, yet if that is the thought going through your head as you strike the ball with the putter, that generally is what you do… get it near the hole! I have a good friend who I play a lot of golf with who I’ve managed to convince that I am the best putter he’s ever played with! I enjoy a game of golf with him, as every putt I have to make, he’ll generally say, ‘You never miss these’ or ‘I may as well give that one to you’ from 10 – 12 feet, which merely builds my confidence and belief that I will actually hole the putt. Be brave, in whatever you do, it is one of the bulk ingredients of success.

Paul McGinley, the guy that holed the winning putt, the tricky, 7 foot, left to right putt on the 18th Green which ensured a European victory in the 2002 Ryder Cup at The Belfry and then went on to be the 2014 Winning Ryder Cup Captain has been heavily into the psychology of golf and success for many years. Geoff Loughrey told a story of when the two of them shared a putting green prior to a tournament, getting some practice in, getting used to the speed etc. of the greens. McGinley practiced the whole time with a pair of headphones on! Loughrey thought it a bit odd, but put it down to him listening to his favourite music, to calm him and relax him whilst he practiced. After a while and during a break, he asked Paul what music he was listening to, to be told ‘Here, have a listen’. All he heard was a voice saying ‘You’re the best putter in the world, You’re the best putter in the world, You’re the best putter in the world….’ proof indeed that the more you tell yourself something, good or bad, the more engrained that becomes. I wonder what was going through McGinley’s mind as he made that winning putt to give the Europeans victory in the Ryder Cup? I’d put money it was nothing like ‘Don’t miss this’!

Whether you are playing sports or, as I’ve said, want to become more successful in business, or simply want a better life, live in the positive world. Think and tell yourself things that you can do, rather than focussing on what might go wrong.

Psychology surrounds us, and everyone is a psychologist! My own observations are that there are too many bad ones… people that analyse why they CAN’T do something or hark on about the fear of failure. Many people won’t know they can’t do something because they’ve never actually tried, their fear stops them at even attempting it! Crazy huh?

The gem that Geoff Loughrey left me with was the story of the first time that Rory McIlroy was to play in a tournament with Tiger Woods, his hero from as far back as he could remember. Picture the scene, Woods at one end of the range, Rory at the other. As good as you are at controlling nerves, just imagine how you would feel competing against your hero and the current World Number One, and had been for a considerable time. It was clear to Michael Bannon, who still coaches Rory to this day, that McIlroy was nervous. His body language, his demeanour, there were signs of nerves. (Who wouldn’t be)! Michael told Rory to keep practising and he would be back shortly, and then, casually wandered along, as discreet as he could be, to watch Woods practising. Tiger was hitting balls seemingly for fun! His coach would say, hit a low one; and he did. Hit a fade, left to right; and he did. Now a high draw, right to left; and he did. In fact Woods was looking awesome!

Michal Bannon returned to where his prodigy, young McIlroy was practising and simply said ‘I think this could be our day. Tiger’s hurt his back, I’m not even sure he’ll be able to play! He’s topping balls, and slicing drives’. McIlroy, clearly felt that maybe, yes, this was his day, and you can only play the person in front of you, whether that person is carrying an injury is really not your problem. McIlroy’s body language changed with this news, he relaxed and started to hit some great balls.

After 9 holes, McIlroy was 1 hole up and asked Woods how his back was holding up! You can imagine the response, and McIlroy caught the eye of Bannon in the crowd who simply gave a sheepish grin and a thumbs up! Rory went on to win the match, having been given the belief before they even stepped on the tee, more evidence came when he was 1 up at the turn, and sometimes that is exactly what you need; Belief!

How many things could YOU achieve, this week, this month, this year, with a little more belief? What pressing engagements have you got to attend, maybe make a speech or deliver a presentation?

One of my favourite Muhammad Ali quotes is ‘I told myself I was the greatest, even before I knew I was’. Pure belief, and when you think about it… it works!

Remember to ‘follow’ our blog, and watch out for new workshops, created and designed for exactly what you need, to be even more successful than you currently are.

All you ever needed to know about Hallowe’en is right here…. http://www.livescience.com/40596-history-of-halloween.html

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Are you caught up in the cycle of working in a job you don’t love, to earn money, to put a roof over your head and food on the table, simply to exist, so that you can go to work tomorrow, to a job that you don’t love, to earn more money, to put a roof over your head and put food on the table, simply to exist, so that you can go to work tomorrow….. get the picture?

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Feeling stressed-out after Christmas? I’ll also bet you were even more stressed out before Christmas!

How many people do you know, perhaps on occasions, even yourself, who tell you they suffer from stress? They are really stressed, everything is getting on top of them and that they have suffered for ages. They feel under pressure, sometimes to unimaginable levels.

STRESS DOESN’T ACTUALLY EXIST!

Now if I went on to say ‘stress’ doesn’t actually exist, these would be the first people to disagree with me. What I mean by that statement is that you cannot actually ‘catch’ stress, there aren’t ‘stress virus particles’ flying around the air, in the same way that you can inhale or contract other, airborne diseases, such as Influenza or Avian Flu.

Stress can be described, effectively, as a reaction to a situation or perhaps a response to a circumstance. Many of you will have heard of ‘white coat syndrome’ where someone, for example, who attends a GP surgery to have their blood pressure taken, suddenly has high blood pressure, due to the situation they find themselves in. Many of you will have been to the dentist for that filling, long overdue, and as you are watching the clock for your appointment time in the waiting room, anxiety and tension rises, and you start to feel out of control. The levels in each and everyone of us can differ enormously, yet think about this… all of these are reactions in your mind, nothing has actually happened as yet!

Even if you are the ‘coolest cucumber’ in the world, imagine yourself, alone in a wood and as you turn a corner, the biggest, fiercest Grizzly Bear confronts you, standing on it’s hind legs, teeth bared and growling. How do you feel? Get the picture?

Stress is the way the mind responds to a situation or circumstance, and with the mind being such a phenomenal tool, has the ability to work for you… but sadly, on occasions, it can work against you as well, (too often, if you allow it to).

FANCY SOME TIME TRAVEL?

Like a scene out of Doctor Who, the mind has the ability to undertake time-travel, on a daily basis. Think, if you will, for a moment about what you did yesterday morning. Now think about what you may be doing tomorrow morning and you’ll soon get the idea that the mind is continually tracking backwards and forwards, normally, with the help of the thinking, process driven left brain, analysing what has happened and perhaps, what ‘might’ happen. You may hear yourself saying, ‘Why did I do that’? ‘If I hadn’t done that’? ‘Why does it always happen to me’? You’ll know many people that are continually saying this to themselves, without actually doing anything about it! As an opposite, you also jump forward in time, planning your day and week ahead, perhaps arranging your holiday itinerary, even a shopping trip, etc. and again, you’ll know people who, before it has even happened, will be imagining how bad the week ahead will be! (For those, it probably will be, but more of that later).

When we start to overthink, either the past or what we perceive to be the future, then that can undoubtedly increase our stress levels, yet there is only one moment that we can control and that is the here and now. The past has gone, analyse it as much as you wish, but it won’t change. Of course, learn from it and use it as a learning point which can shape what you do for the rest of your life, but it will never actually change. Similarly, you can influence what happens tomorrow, but you cannot 100% control what will happen. Life may throw us a curved ball, outside/external influences can start to shape what will happen in the future. The only moment we can control is now.

BECOME LESS STRESSED RIGHT NOW

So how do you even begin to become less-stressed? Well one of the proven methods, and something that each and everyone of us can do, is breathing. Controlled breathing together with the correct focus has been proven to lower stress, anxiety and blood pressure. So why do people get caught on the merry-go-round of their life and suffer due to unacceptable stress levels. (I say unacceptable, because a manageable amount of stress is a good thing, it drives us on, motivates us, etc, but again, that’s something I’ll discuss on another day). Focussing on the moment and controlled breathing is often referred to as meditation and you can meditate whenever you choose to, it really is up to you.

You may know people, whose anxiety and stress levels are, quite frankly, unacceptable. It affects not only their day to day work and social lives, it can have long-lasting effects on their general health, lowering the immune system and leaving them susceptible to all manner of illnesses. Yet, for most, it really doesn’t have to be that way. For a few sufferers, it seems incredible that instead of moving away from the source of their stress, they are actually drawn towards it. The whole situation or circumstance that has caused the stress and illness, becomes a ‘safety net’ to them. It may seem bizarre, but again, you may know people like this, constantly stating that ‘One day, they will do this, or one day they will do that…. yet it never actually happens… What they effectively do is wallow in exactly the thing that is causing them stress, like a constant downward spiral, merely increasing stress levels. Again, you will know people that do eventually (and hopefully) get themselves out of whatever situation they are in that is causing their stress and anxiety… and one of their first responses is ‘I don’t know why I didn’t do this earlier’. The fact is many people know what they need to do, but do not have that courage, determination or conviction to change; sometimes they just need a helping hand.

Current research shows us that meditation can have a huge impact on our positivity, in turn increasing our health and wellbeing. Some people insist they do not have enough time in their lives to meditate, and perhaps they are right! Maybe they are just too busy fighting the stress to actually try something different that could help them. Just five to ten minutes meditating each day can start to have a huge impact on your own life. Surely you are worth that investment?

WHAT TO DO NEXT

If this really does intrigue you and you’d like to know a little more about how you can reduce your stress levels and embark on the journey of meditation, then contact us on the details below. Dates are currently being sourced for workshops, to help you, right now.

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Have you ever noticed, as soon as you take your focus away (from whatever it may have been focussing on) that others eagerly step in, to take control? Normally for their own benefit. After days, weeks, months and years of this, that person becomes so reliant that they give up making decisions for themselves and become totally reliant on their ‘Controller’. Indeed, many start to express sympathy and are empathic to that person, which merely serves as strengthening the bond and dominance that they have over that person. You may have heard of this syndrome, widely known as ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ following the Swedish Bank Robbery in August 1973.

An excerpt from the BBC News Magazine by Kathryn Westcott explains the origin and symptoms of the phrase as follows:-

It was 23 August 1973 when the four were taken hostage in the Kreditbanken by 32-year old career-criminal Jan-Erik Olsson – who was later joined at the bank by a former prison mate. Six days later when the stand-off ended, it became evident that the victims had formed some kind of positive relationship with their captors, Stockholm Syndrome was born by way of explanation.The phrase was reported to have been coined by criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot. Psychiatrist Dr Frank Ochberg was intrigued by the phenomenon and went on to define the syndrome for the FBI and Scotland Yard in the 1970s.

At the time, he was helping the US National Task Force on Terrorism and Disorder devise strategies for hostage situations.

His criteria included the following: “First people would experience something terrifying that just comes at them out of the blue. They are certain they are going to die. “Then they experience a type of infantilisation – where, like a child, they are unable to eat,speak or go to the toilet without permission.” Small acts of kindness – such as being given food – prompts a “primitive gratitude for the gift of life,” he explains. “The hostages experience a powerful, primitive positive feeling towards their captor. They are in denial that this is the person who put them in that situation. In their mind, they think this is the person who is going to let them live.”

Police snipers opposite Kreditbanken where Jan-Erik Olsson held workers hostage for six days.

Over many years this has been called ‘brain-washing’ or ‘programming’ but it is evident (and has been proved on many, many occasions) that it is totally reversible. Now, surely, that is good news? So why do people, and I’m not talking ‘hostages’ here, but everyday folk, still constantly rely and live their lives doing things that others want them to do, even though it is having (and does) have a detrimental effect on their life and well-being?

When you look into this further, the ‘controller’ has eroded the victim’s confidence and self esteem and in doing so, has promoted dominance and control, to such an extent, that even daily decisions, that people, perhaps like you and I may take for granted, feel a reliance on asking and ‘seeking permission’ until they can actually go ahead with the decision or task.

Albert Einstein once said, ‘Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results’.

So what we merely have to do is break the chain, start doing things differently, trying new ways. It is easy to keep going along with the way that it has always been, and many do this for an easy life. But if you really want to make changes in any area of your life, to perhaps have a career change, to step outside of that so-called comfort zone, then you have to start to break the chain and do things differently.

Ask yourself this: Am I 100% happy with my lot in life?

Now, let’s get in the real world, possibly very few people will be 100% happy all of the time, so I’ll take 85-90% of the time as being happy as a pretty good life! If you are, then fantastic, carry on doing what you are doing. If you want changes, then, as Mahatma Ghandi once famously said, ‘You must be the change you wish to see in the world’.

It is unproductive to keep slipping back into habit, into the ways of the past, into what you have always done. Be that change.

It is unproductive to focus your attention on things that you don’t want, use the energy of that focus to accelerate you into the kind of life that you do want. Be that change.

Be in control of your own mind. Be that change.

Ultimately that change can only come from you, from your thoughts within and your desire to get better and better, more and more successful and become a continual high achiever in whatever you decide you want to do.

If you would like assistance with that change and taking the first few steps, then look out for our forthcoming workshops, designed to really make the difference.

To register your interest at this stage, simply drop us an email at change@imduk.com We look forward to hearing from you.