David Weiss on the fine — and finer — things in life

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With temperatures surging past one-hundred degrees these days, and with the cost of running that huge air conditioning unit getting prohibitive, the time is right to march over to Home Depot and have a look at Haier’s Commercial Cool A/C units. I’ve been using a 10,000BTU unit for a couple of weeks in the upstairs bedroom and don’t have that nagging guilty feeling that I’m killing the ozone layer while sleeping peaceably through the night. Ahhh….

It couldn’t be easier to install and operate: simply port the exhaust hose through an available window, jump in bed with the remote control and pretend you’re in Juneau instead of Valdosta, GA. Featuring an electronic thermostat and three cooling speeds, you can adjust it to suit your comfort level and even set it to turn on and off daily at preset times. Fully directional casters make it easy to move around. I like to point it right at my pillow, btw…..

For a mere $400 clams or so, you can avoid the huge monthly power bills and boast to your green pals that you’re doing your small part to save the planet. All that and no more sweating through the sheets as Valley temperatures recede to a balmy 85 at night!

Golf course operators are getting happier and happier as GPS units for measuring yardage are getting cheaper and handier to use. Enter the Bushnell Neo+ — what could be easier than glancing down at your wrist instead of searching for a sprinkler head (which may or may not show you how far you are from the flagstick).

Even better news is that the Neo+ comes pre-loaded with 25,000 courses and no membership fees or downloads. Operation is simple — far easier than actually making a good swing — it sits lightly on your wrist and has a good long battery life (rechargeable via USB). And yes, it can be used as a watch, odometer and alarm. It’s also waterproof if you like tempting nature and playing in Scottish conditions.

The Neo+ measures distances to the front, middle and back of the green, and word from users is that it’s preternaturally accurate — measuring within a yard of laser measurements when compared head to head. Best of all, you don’t have to pull the device out of your pocket every three minutes to find out where you stand — one glance at your wrist and you’re good to go. Now just keep your head from flailing about during your backswing…..

I happen to be a big fan of the nation’s coolest boutique-hotel chain, Joie de Vivre, so news that they are helping the overburdened hordes escape reality through their new “Ditch” initiative was welcome indeed! Take your pick from a half-dozen of the company’s California or Arizona-based hotels and custom-create your own three-day getaway. Laguna Beach? Scottsdale? Venice? Palm Springs? Gentle people, start your engines and break out the SPF-50!

Specially-priced packages are available on weekdays or weekends, appropriately dubbed “Ditch Work” and “Ditch Fridays.” Don’t worry, we at AGT won’t tell the boss if you phone in sick one fair Tuesday. In fact, the more amusing and preposterous your, um, excuse is, might just qualify you for a free hotel stay and other prizes. Just Tweet your biggest white lie and hope you beat the other clever Tweeters down the hall. In addition, have your photo taken (in disguise of course, provided by the hotel!) for another chance to win free swag…..

So head on over to the Ditch website above and put together a custom trip of your own sweet devising — a tattoo parlor visit followed by cocktails at the Hotel Erwin in Venice, or touring celeb mansions punctuated by dinner at the Saguaro in Palm Springs? It all sounds mighty appealing to me, especially given the swank (but fairly priced) accommodations and hip clientele at all of the JDV properties. Adieu, mes amis!!

If your pop is one of the 26 million madmen afflicted with an addiction to the grand old game of golf, you’d do well to do what I find myself doing every couple of weeks: cruising the aisles of my local Golfsmith and making sure nobody sees me drooling. Yes, fellow dudes of the kilts and dimples, I am a golfaholic, and this high-ceilinged temple of gleaming goodies is my corner bar. If I wasn’t a confirmed atheist, I’d ask the golf gods for mercy.

While the gentler sex (irony intended — I wish I had Michelle Wie’s power) shop next door at Nordstrom Rack (in Woodland Hills on Victory Blvd.), I am likely as not on Golfsmith’s five-hole putting green, trying out the Scotty Cameron putters, switching to the TaylorMade Manta and capping it all off with a few strokes of the Odyssey Two-Ball — this store has them all out on display, with lots of gleaming white rocks available to roll. Don’t forget to try the belly putters, which Dad might take to after young Keegan Bradley won the PGA with one last year!

Better yet, buy the old blowhard a custom club fitting from one of the store’s experts — as good a gift as one could give. There are lots of duffers out there hitting sticks that hurt their game rather than help. That and a GPS unit like the SkyCaddie SGXw (the one I carry) and the lovable tyrant will start zeroing in on his distance control. Slap a pair of Ecco street shoes (wearable on or off the course) on him like Freddy Couples wears, and Dad may even look cooler than he actually is.

If your sea-legs give out traipsing through Golfsmith’s 25,000 square foot wonderland, just buy the Grand Imperator a nice hundred-buck gift card and let him do the hard work of deciding what to add to his arsenal. If you see me hanging around the simulator stations in the back trying out clubs, ignore any advice I give you — I’m the world’s worst caddie. That’s why they have trained staff — to take the guesswork out of what could be a mystifying process. And they’re offering a nice sale just in time for this special time of year.

No lie, I have been hooked on Ecco shoes since Moby Dick was a mere minnow — anyways, for quite a spell. They are the perfect balance ‘twixt form and function — not overtly snazzy or obtrusive, and a cushy, well-built home for world-weary feet to boot. I have worn their casual street shoes and their golf shoes (they also make a pair that works on either turf or street) and do so with gratitude to their canny designers. They simply feel great.

Now word comes down the cyberpike that the beneficent folks at Ecco are giving away a pair of sport shoes a day for the rest of the merry month of May. Just steer your way to the company’s Facebook page (where else?) at 10:00am each morning to see the model of the day revealed, then enter away, even daily! For you golf types like myself, there are three great pairs of golf shoes available starting on May 15, but they also have some sleek-looking sandals and running shoes. I’d enter every day if I were you….

Watching television delivers about 1/100th of the thrills and spills of NASCAR racing, but being at the race in person denies one the luxury of informed commentary, different camera-angles, etc. Ya smell the smoke, but you can’t feel them making the turn. Of course, the refrigerator is nearby when you’re watching from the Barcalounger….

Enter the new-media visionaries at Emmy-winning NASCAR Media Group and track denizens get the best of both planets: an in-hand video interface with layers of interactive functions — eight different camera feeds, official timing, statistics, instant replays and even a digital radio scanner! I’ve been waiting for the old CB craze to start up again, but who knew it would come in such a newfangled package? What I wanna know is — can you order a hot dog with this baby??

What you most certainly can do is follow the driver of your choice with the versatile FanVision controller, which is available for rental or purchase on race-day. It boasts a high-def video display, a 4.3-inch screen and all you want to know about what’s going on, and in real-time. NASCAR Media Group has been performing the same magic at 12 NFL stadiums the last two seasons, and even delivered the enhanced pigskin experience to my alma mater, the University of Michigan. Um, go Blue. That’s obligatory….sorry.

As this aging athletic warrior has put deeper tread on his figurative Goodyears, technology has come to the rescue with some indispensable digital gear that keeps track of the old ticker while you sweat away the pounds. Reebok has a nice line of Heart Rate Monitors and Fitness Watches that look like timekeepers, but which help you to optimize your workout to the benefit of your corpuscles and arteries.

“When it comes to exercise, whether you’re just starting a new routine or exercise regularly, heart monitors and pedometers can help you achieve fitness goals, improve your health, and enhance your overall experience,” said Arthur Weltman, PH.D, Professor at the Department of Human Services and Director of Exercise Physiology Graduate Program, University of Virginia.

I tend to second the doc’s expert opinion, for what it’s worth, because lots of fitness enthusiasts are taking to these products to track their goals while they stride through their local ‘hood. That bit of empirical evidence has been gathered by EB Sports Group, a leading purveyor of innovative sports and fitness products for use in and around the home.

Improving cardio health by monitoring your average heart rate can also assist in weight-loss: the Reebok’s heart rate wristwatch measures calories burned, speed and distance, and also features a Fit Zone indicator that lets you know when you’ve hit your optimal stride. My advice: quit guessing and leaving your health goals to chance — give Reebok’s reasonably priced line of monitors a whirl. They’re sold at a variety of retailers including REI, Academy Sports, Dunham’s and Best Buy, among others, and are also available at www.reebok.com.

Springtime for local golf fans means the arrival of the game’s elder statesmen for the Toshiba Classic in Newport Beach. Among other notables, two-time Toshiba winner (and three-time U.S. Open champ!) Hale Irwin will go for the gold and also be the featured speaker at the annual Toshiba Classic “Breakfast with a Champion” presented by the Allergan Foundation on March 13. Start time is 7 a.m., so set your alarm very early and support some great charities by attending.

The tournament itself has generated over $14 million for charity in the last fourteen years, and the breakfast is an occasion to get up close and personal with some of the game’s greatest competitors — past legends attending include Tom Kite, Lee Trevino and Gary Player. The breakfast also serves as an opportunity to award two top Orange County students with a $10K scholarship from the Toshiba Classic Scholarship Fund.

Those of you who love the game and relish the opportunity to support a good cause would do well to break bread at the Newport Beach Marrriott Hotel & Spa with the estimable Mr. Irwin. Ticket information can be found at this web address.

You with the driver in your hands! Got the post-holiday spare tire jiggling around your waistline? Are you one of the seven out of ten golfers already overweight? Have no fear, Larry Jacobs is here. On February 15, the slim-down coach to the birdie-and-bogey set will present a weight-loss tele-seminar that has already helped golf notables like Fred Funk and Dottie Pepper shed unwanted pounds.

Jacobs’ “Thin for Life” series is a four-part package — at a special half-price rate — featuring valuable strategies based on his successful “Weight Loss for Golfers” program. You can get further information at his website, Weightlossforgolfers.com. To quote the man himself: “I can show any golfer how to go from a Fat Storer to a Fat Burner in two weeks or less without dieting, counting calories or starving, guaranteed!”

The wife and I were heading to Hawaii for some much deserved downtime when I got a good look at my hirsute frame in the mirror. Hair, hair, everywhere, disqualifying me from any possible beach honors for my Olympic-worthy bod. With a little cajoling from the better half, I made my way down to the 360 Health Club in Reseda to meet with Mehri Jem, a gentle woman whose ways with waxing and facials and massages is without parallel.

An hour later, and with as little pain as one could expect from having one’s back hair eviscerated by force, I was as smooth as a billiard ball and had fallen for Mehri herself, whose bedside manner is as reassuring and comforting as a family physician. We have both returned to her many times over the past decade, knowing that we’d be recipients of high-end, professional spa services as well as being welcomed like old friends. She really is a special woman, with a heart as big as all outdoors.

Mehri has recently relocated back to the 360 Health Club after a spell down the road. She specializes in the use of Dermalogica’s pioneering formulas, which you can also purchase from her at reasonable prices on-site. Start off by treating yourself to a visit with her, then give gift certificates to your friends to help spread the good word. You won’t regret it for a second — she is as good as it gets. You can reach her via email at Mehrijem@yahoo.com.

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Who is David Weiss?

A Detroit native, David Weiss fled Motown for Los Angeles in 1978 and began to write for Daily Variety and the Los Angeles Herald Examiner, primarily as a music critic with a focus on jazz.

His own music career started soon thereafter, with the surrealistic funk band Was (Not Was), then various gigs as a composer and producer, working with Bob Dylan and Rickie Lee Jones among others.

In a parallel universe, Weiss has been filing golf and travel stories for T&L Golf, Golfweek and The New York Times and is a regular contributor to NPR's "All Things Considered" program, doing stories on music and all things cultural.