FRIDAY FICTION: MAMA BOYS AND MEN BY MARTINA OMORODION

Yes na! with the sheer number of funky pre-wedding photos online and in our faces. Everyone wants to get married. I wonder who started the pre-wedding picture craze and its purpose. Will the pics be shared

I wonder who started the pre-wedding picture craze and its purpose. Will the pics be shared to invited guests at the wedding, or to be hung in the sitting room with the other traditional pictures in their place of honor?

Anyway, I cannot be bothered. All I know is the hunt for Mr. Right is as depressing as a funeral.

Yes! It is that bad and serious.

Just imagine the number of baby boys strolling the streets of Lagos, Abuja and other cities. I am very tempted to take my hunt to the villages; maybe, just maybe I can get me a real man.

Coz there’s a big difference between the boys and men out there.

The other day, I met this quite decent looking Youngman; we got talking and exchanged numbers. The day I was supposed to visit him, he informed me that he had prepared and was expecting me.

Of course, I was expecting to be treated like the Princess I am and your’s truly arrived all geared for excitement.

I walked into his home and was greeted with a foul and offensive smell.

Stuffy room, smelly socks, chai! Some men are dirty sha!

But I didn’t let that bother me after all you guys have told me to chill and not be too choosy. A rough diamond can always be made into the finest diamond.

We got talking and gisting.

Thirty minutes later after one miserable can of malt drink bros had still not offered me the special delicacy. I was starting to lose my patience. He later stood up and told me to come with him that he has something for me.

I got up excited, thinking here it finally is.

Only for him to lead me to where the foul smell was coming from. Ewoo!

It was a basin of over soaked smelly clothes, which had been soaking for nothing less than a week. Bros looked up expectedly at me, obviously waiting for me to do magic.

I just jejely picked my handbag and walked out.

Just negodu! Which day we start love wey we don dey kiss.

And to my dear friends telling me it was just a test. Biko, I don’t buy that kind of test.

Why didn’t he test me with a new car, a beautiful jewelry or even with a special delicacy prepared by him? Yours truly is bigger than that such mundane test. Thank you.

Till next time I remain miss T.

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WRITTEN BY: Martina Omorodion

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What do you think of the story? Have you experienced a boy disguised as a man, or a girl disguised as a woman before? Share in the comments section below.

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