The Secret Service agentwho touched off a scandal by shortchanging a Colombian prostitute.

... remember that what happens in Vegas doesn't necessarily stay in Vegas.

The party animals at theGeneral Services Administration.

... trade smear tactics for facts.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., who, with no evidence, accused Romney of not paying income taxes for 10 years, andRep. Allen West, R-Fla., who said there are up to 80 communists in the House of Representatives.

... rethink the "embed writers" policy.

David Petraeus

... count to 1,000 before hitting "send."

Paula Broadwell

... avoid the Sunday morning talk shows.

U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice

... just shut down that whole career thing.

Rep. Todd Akin, R-Mo.

... spend a day at home with five boys.

Pundit Hilary Rosin, who said Ann Romney "hasn't worked a day in her life."

... spend more time whale-watching in the London office.

JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon

... apologize to everyone who bought Facebook at $38.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg

... apologize to everyone who got lost using Apple Maps.

Apple CEO Tim Cook

... make Team USA's uniforms ... in the USA!

Ralph Lauren Corp.

... bone up on the parts about "women and children first" and "the captain goes down with his ship."

Francesco "Chicken of the Sea" Schettino, captain of the Costa Concordia.

... not tell my mom so much about my personal life.

Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte

... play to win.

the Chinese women's Olympic badminton team

... keep my admiration for Fidel Castro to myself.

Former Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen

... live, not lie, strong.

Lance Armstrong

... take my talents to Washington, D.C., where the Wizards sure could use me.

LeBron James

... sharpen our skills in Pop Warner and the Lingerie Football League.