According to user Minsc_and_Boo, if you’re at a club and not having fun, it’s because “you’re waiting for shit to happen. It’s not going to happen.” His solution? “Be the fucking party. Mingle, smile, dance, talk to EVERYONE just a little bit. Be POSITIVE, and KIND, and WITH A GOOD ENERGY, and keep moving.”

“Vibe it up son, vibe it up. Be a giver, not a taker… Be the happening.”

User crazynekosama gave a lot of good points, but one that stood out was about the proper way to approach ladies to dance. “So ask, verbally, non-verbally, whatever floats your boat. I don’t care how you ask, [women] just want you to make your presence known before you try to start dancing with us.”

“As a woman, I do not appreciate when guys come up behind me and just start grinding on my ass.”

More funny than helpful, user KeepOnTrippinOn warns the nightclub patron to be sure your hair product is”definitely not gel that glows under a UV light so you aren’t walking around a club looking like a complete tit with a glowing head.” Who knows, this advice could come in handy someday.

User swiftskill says “Nothing pisses a bartender off more than seeing you turn around and ask your friends what they want after you get his attention. [They] will move on to the next guy.” Or you could get a VIP table and not have to deal with the bartender at all! But we digress.

“Have your ENTIRE drink order ready when you get the bartender’s attention.”

In response to some salty old buzzkill saying you need to be 21 to party at a club, user BigDaddyDelish responds “I went with a few friends last weekend, among them a married couple in their 50’s… They freaking partied hard, man.” Sure, a club full of old people would be weird, but the point is to just cut loose and have fun.

“You don’t need to meet a checklist to enjoy a club. It’s entirely up to you as to whether or not you have fun.”

EndoAlexander claims that usually people who go just to hook up don’t end up having as good a time as the people who go to have fun (I’d suggest doing both at the same time). Get in there, “pretend like nobody’s watching (because nobody really is watching), and let loose.” Rules to live by.

User stuck_at_starbucks shut down a bitter dude complaining about how “girls have their guard up to the max,” responding: “The clubs are where I head to when I’m in the mood for casual sex.” She goes on to say that overly-aggressive guys get none of this, so just don’t be a dick like the young buck she was responding to, and you might be going home with more than what you arrived with.

“I like finding guys who aren’t expecting it or don’t think they’ll get it… I get laid while feeling like I did a good thing for someone.”

We’ve been saying this all along, and so does this guy named SheetShitter (yeah, it’s always weird quoting Reddit users). He said that not only does he live in Vegas, he used to work in a club. “If you have 5 friends, each paying $30-$100 for entry, you might as well buy a bottle and get free entry.” He forgot to mention Tablelist, but we don’t really want an endorsement from someone with that username so it’s all good.

“If you’re in a group of 5 or more on a busy night, it’s usually cheaper to buy 1 bottle of alcohol and ask for free entry.”