Seems god was just about done creating the universe, but he had two
extra
things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided to split
them between
Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had
to give
away
was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very
handy thing,"
God told the couple, who he found under an apple tree. "I was
wondering if either one of you wanted the ability".
Adam jumped up and blurted, "oh,give that to me.
I'd love to. Please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability.
It would be great. When I'm out working in the garden or
naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly.
It
would be so cool, I could write my name in the sand.
Oh, please God, let it be me who you give that gift to."

On and on he went, like an excited little boy who....well....had to
pee.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly,
he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would
make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam
were the one given this ability.
And so, Adam was given the ability to control the direction of his
micturition while in a vertical position.
He was so happy, he celebrated by wetting
down the bark on the tree nearest him and laughing with delight
all the while. And it was good.

"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts.
"What's left in here?"