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To Sam2 October 2013

Alcoholic dad

My dad has a alcohol and drug problem.he gets really violent , he still is even if he is sober.he has always been threatening and abusive , my earliest memory is hiding under a sofa he threw across the room and trashed the house.im not scared of him any more, even tho a few days ago he strangled me and hurt my arm badly , I want to tell someone at school so I can stop him from being in my life, but I get angry talking about it and don't feel I can trust anyone. He keeps trying to apologise but he has done the same before. I don't know what to do ): please help

Sam2 October 2013

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. It sounds like things are very hard for you at home and have been like this for a long time. From what youve said, I get the sense that you know what your dad is doing is wrong. Even if he apologises afterwards, it is still wrong. You deserve to be safe and treated with respect. I think you have shown a lot of courage contacting me and I am glad that you did. You might find it useful to read the Explore pages on Parents and Alcohol and Physical Abuse.

I know you said that you arent scared of your dad anymore, but it does sound like he is still hurting you very badly sometimes and I am concerned about that. Please remember that you have the right to call 999 if ever you feel in danger or if you are seriously hurt.

Youve told me that youd like to stop your dad being in your life. Im pleased that youre thinking about telling someone at school. Its important that you get the support you need to be safe at home. Talking to a trusted adult is a really good way to get support with difficult or dangerous situations

If you tell your school about your dad, they will take you very seriously. One way they might try to help is by contacting social services. Social services are there to support families with all kinds of different problems. They usually want to start by finding out a bit more about whats happening. They may decide to talk to everyone involved, like you and your dad and anyone else that you live with. You can ask to talk to social services without your dad being there, if youd find that easier.

Its understandable that you get angry talking about your dad and find it hard to trust people. It sounds like your dad has let you down very badly. I can hear that the idea of telling someone about things at home feels very daunting right now. If youre worried about not being able to say certain things out loud, you could start by writing them down. You could also ask to have another adult that you trust with you, like a teacher or classroom support worker.

Please remember that ChildLine is always here to listen and the counsellors can support you with what you want to say and how you can say it. You can talk to a counsellor, either by phone on 0800 1111 or by logging in for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care

Sam

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