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Field Guide to Chicks of the United States

Field Guide to Chicks of the United States by Joe Bovino, is quite the witty practical guide for men

Field Guide to Chicks of the United States by Joe Bovino, is quite the witty practical guide for men who are looking for a specific type of woman. It feels cartoonlike in nature and gives a lot of interesting information that could really be a help to many men out there.

Yes, it does break women down categorically, however I must say if you know any of these type of women, it is quite funny and accurate. Warning: you must have a sense of humor to read this and not take it overly seriously. The author admits in the beginning that “It’s undoubtedly true that inner beauty is what really counts with Chicks” and then goes on to celebrate the rich diversity of American women, breaking them down into subcultures. Subcultures include:
Location
Ethnicity
Religion
Those with “heavy baggage”
Sexually charged
Ethnically mixed
Mysterious

Within the subcultures there is a vast amount of information like:
Physical traits & features
Typical size, body type, & whether she is likely to have had plastic surgery
Sense of fashion
How friendly, neurotic, nesting likelihood, maintenance, and superficial possibilities
Possibility of promiscuity
How long it will take you to “hit a home run” with her

Like I said earlier, this is a great, funny, book with a lot of valid information however you must have a sense of humor, especially women, to read it. It’s really a “guys guide to chicks”. For a guy who is thinking about a major move and is single wanting to meet Ms. Right, you should definitely check this book out!

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1. He's not a douche about being in shape.

Look, Chris Evans has a great body. Most importantly, though, is that he's not a jerk about it. He doesn't walk around shirtless, unless it's in a completely appropriate situation. You don't have to worry about him flashing his abs to your mom, but if that shirt does come off for whatever reason, she'll still be impressed.

Photo: Disney / Marvel

2. He makes dangerous stuff look adorable.

Girls want a bad boy, moms want a teddy bear. Well guess what? Chris Evans is a bad teddy bear. But, not in a dirty way. Unless you want it dirty. Chris Evans is here for you!

Photo: Disney / Marvel

3. Chris Evans cleans up really nicely.

You want your mom to see a guy at his best, and Chris Evans at his best looks like America personified. If your mom doesn't appreciate that, then she's a terrorist and she should be in jail.

Photo: Disney / Marvel

4. He's active!

He knows how to swim, how to throw stuff, how to fight. Your mom will love his various skills. He can definitely take care of you.

Photo: Disney / Marvel

5. Chris Evans hangs out with classy broads.

Is it offensive to call a dame a broad? Either way, those are the types of ladies that Chris Evans associates with. You don't have to worry about sketchy ex-girlfriends showing up and ruining everything.

Photo: Disney / Marvel

6. Chris Evans stands up to jerks!

Your mom wants a guy who will protect you. Not just from bears and stuff like that, but also a man who protects your honor. If some guy is being a jerk, and Chris Evans is around, then you've got nothing to worry about.

Photo: Disney / Marvel

7. He's got great health insurance.

Chris Evans is rich and famous. He financially stable, so you know he's got the health insurance that covers all the luxurious stuff. Like mud baths.

Photo: Disney / Marvel

8. Chris Evans looks good in uniform.

If there's one thing moms love, it's a man in uniform. Even if the uniform is just a costume, they still love it. Chris Evans only wears uniforms in his personal life (from what I hear, which may be wrong).

Photo: Disney / Marvel

9. He's got impressive friends.

Chris Evans hangs out with cool people, but even around cool people, he still looks like the boss. There's nothing more impressive than that.

Photo: Disney / Marvel

10. Chris Evans is dedicated.

You don't get a body like that by accident. If you could, they wouldn't call them accidents, they'd call them miracles.

Photo: Disney / Marvel

11. Chris Evans is a true gentleman.

My girlfriend can't look at this photo of Betty White and Chris Evans without crying because everything about it is perfect.

Photo: YouTube

Look, Chris Evans has a great body. Most importantly, though, is that he's not a jerk about it. He doesn't walk around shirtless, unless it's in a completely appropriate situation. You don't have to worry about him flashing his abs to your mom, but if that shirt does come off for whatever reason, she'll still be impressed.