Monday, March 19, 2012

Ate it for

I've just read two books. Thank you.

As they both touch upon the Miners Strike of 84, which I am personally very familiar with, I thought I'd treat you to a brief digested read for you to compare them. Well, saves me banging on about me sen.

I've rather helpfully titled my comparison Clemency 84.

Judy thought about the tupperware her mother bought them when they first got married, the way it all fitted together in the cupboard; no one could have convinced her then the stains would never wash out, not even with the new Presto brand washing up liquid she bought that weekend. She looked at Clifford, unfolding his pyjamas, rolled on her side: she had wondered if they might have sex tonight. Clifford turned out the light.

There are a lot more of us only we all sound the same, even if we're from London because there's only the North and London. But isn't that the point. Clever. Oh, you're asleep.

I don't sound the same because I represent socialism and therefore I'm a blagger and a sociopath, but don't worry, I'll die and all you'll remember is the colour of the book's cover.

****
Day 1. Martian speaks proper Yorkshire. We want people in London to read this book. Say it's bloody good. So we cut out article to make it sound like dialect. Bloody Hell. And short sentences. Everywhere. And occasional quote. In case you were getting cosy with narrative. Blue smoke goes drifting by. But Martian's real. His part's chopped into newspaper columns. Proof.

Everytime we change POV we have to change font. Because this is a thriller. We have to chop the whole lot up. Tiny segments. Like violence. Stuff happening too quick. At same time. Get the spade out. Fuck, fuck, fuck. A miner gets dragged past by his hair.

Slit is a nasty character. Nasty characters have pseudonyms.

The Driver is a bad man. The Driver has a spade. The Driver gets italics so his segments are short. You can't read much in Italics before you get bored.

Miner gets dragged past by his hair.

Nick Fontanelle is Nick. Nick Fontanelle is also Slit. Nick Fontanelle is on nearly every page but if we called him Nick Fontanelle every time you'd get sick of reading Nick Fontanelle. Nick Fontanelle is tough. Nick Fontanelle has a soft spot. Nick Fontanelle is like dog muck.

Put telly on. All night. Get pissed.

Miner gets dragged past by his hair.

Keith loves his wife. Keith is the Driver. Oh, twist, character depth.

16 comments:

We have been watching a lot of Father Ted in my family over the past few weeks. Father Dougle never understands a thing and yet he understands the world better than most. I am impersonating only that first side of him here.

This style of review is very enjoyable! You should do more of this. I like it.

Also am personally familiar with the Miners Strike,step-dad was a sparkie down a southern pit, I was a marketman supplying the face, got out before it went pear-shaped, got out before the sides were drawn & the axes sharpened.

It was pure excellence in places, Rachel, particularly the miner's part - the actual miners strike stuff was very engaging - but the thriller (fictional) interwoven became exhausting to read. You can only read so many tiny and repetitive sentences ( and I read a lot in one go) before your heart goes into arrhythmia. If you read it in very small doses I imagine the effect is better. Give it a bash, if only to let me know what you think.

Oh, yes, Rachel. I know that line. My husband has a colleague in office who has a T-shirt with that line. My favorite episode is the first one where they have a fair on the island and a kid falls into a ditch or something and they make an announcement along these lines: nurse needed to help kid who fell in the ditch ... nurse needed to help nurse and kid who fell in the ditch ...