Rush Hour

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Rush Hour, also known as "everyone drive like an absolute cunt for an hour" hour, is a mini game that adults play between the hours of 5pm to 8pm that involves ruining everyone’s lives and making you wish you were dead.

According to a recent study if you are 17 and male, you have a 999,999,999,999:1 chance that you will crash into somebody on a very busy intersection, block the road for everyone else who just wants to get home and completely deny it was you fault. However it is currently believed that if you are a girl and are of a similar age, you will never crash, ever, not once. This is because while you are out of the kitchen drifting from lane to lane you will cause people of the opposite gender to swerve into a car to avoid you, or be confused as to how you carry a cooker around in your car and within this state of confusion, crash.

“What the fuck! How can you crash and block goddamn traffic for two hours if you weren't fucking moving in the first place!!!”

~ A driver on why he is currently angry

“Do you speak the English? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”

I don't know where you got that from. I am a perfectly normal functioning member of society. In fact

YES OFFICER, I SHOT THAT RAT'S ASS IN THE LEFT MOTHERFUCKING EYE!

Oh sorry guys, I'm off to jail for some reason. I'll be back. Just you wait...

HOW DARE YOU ARREST ME, FUCKFACE!

Article written in the style of its subjectThis article is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are the type who needed this explained to you. If you still do not find the article funny, that is surely because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. The authors sincerely hope that you will pick up your game and laugh without prompting in the future.