He says he feels no bitterness after hard battle to clear his name

By RENÉE C. LEEHOUSTON CHRONICLE

July 24, 2010, 8:52AM

James Nielsen Chronicle

Allen Wayne Porter, 39, who spent nearly two decades in prison for a crime he didn't commit, is all smiles Friday as he is surrounded by family members and his lawyer, Casey Garrett.

No one would blame Allen Wayne Porter if he had bitterness about spending half his life behind bars for a crime he did not commit. For 19 years, he consistently claimed his innocence, and no one would listen.

But Porter, who was set free on Friday, isn't interested in living with an angry heart. His Christian faith, which he says got him though those tough years, won't let him.

"Everybody makes mistakes," Porter said. "I think that's mainly what it was. They just made a big mistake."

Surrounded by his mother, sister and other family members, Porter, 39, thanked God and his attorney, Casey Garrett, for getting him released.

After fighting for so long to gain his freedom, now that he has it, it almost doesn't feel real, he said.

Porter was sentenced to life in prison for a June 18, 1990, rape and robbery in southwest Houston. He was identified as one of three men who kicked their way into a drug dealer's residence in search of money and drugs. They terrorized the apartment's four occupants, repeatedly raping two women.

Porter said he was innocent from the beginning. He tried to challenge his conviction but was turned away by several lawyers.

His break came last year when he wrote a letter to Harris County District Attorney Pat Lykos, explaining how he was found guilty by mistaken identity. Lykos reopened the case, launching an investigation.

During a hearing Thursday, Porter's nephew, Jimmy Hatton, and Perry Harrison told state District Judge Joan Campbell they committed the crime along with a third man. They said Porter was not at the crime scene.

Porter was arrested while attending Hatton's trial with other family members after one of the rape victims identified him as her attacker.

Free on $30,000 bail

Campbell found Hatton and Harrison credible witnesses. On Friday, she ordered Porter's release on $30,000 bail. She plans to forward her findings of fact in the case to the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals and recommend that Porter's conviction be overturned and his life sentence be vacated.

If the court agrees with Campbell's findings of actual innocence, it would grant Porter a new trial.

"The court of criminal appeals still has to make final decision," Garrett, Porter's lawyer, said. "We will wait anxiously for them to make a decision. I'm hopeful and confident it will endorse Judge Campbell's findings. I think the court of criminal appeals will do the right thing."

Special prosecutor Bob Loper said that if Porter is granted a new trial, he would move to dismiss the case.

"It's a completely sad case," Loper said. "No one could imagine a family member going through that, and to know that for so many years this has happened and someone's been crying out they're innocent. You can't wrap your mind around that."

First hearing in 2004

Porter first presented his case before Campbell in 2004. He obtained DNA testing,which failed to link him to rape-scene evidence. But a lab technician testified that absence of DNA evidence linking Porter to the crime didn't mean he was innocent. Campbell ruled against him.

In his second appearance before Campbell, Porter had testimony and fingerprints — evidence found by Lykos' post-conviction review team — to back his claim of innocence.

Baldwin Chin, a member of the review team, interviewed Hatton and Harrison, which led to the third suspect's name - and to the fact that finger and palm prints at the crime scene had never been identified.

Chin told the judge that four of six prints collected at the scene matched those of the third never-apprehended suspect.

Lykos said her office has a sworn mission to serve justice. "The integrity of the criminal justice system means everything," Lykos said. "Wrongful convictions are a triple tragedy - for the accused, the victim and for society. The true criminal is free to continue to commit offenses."

Word of advice

Porter said he never once thought about giving up. He said his faith in God and support from his family kept him strong. He said he would advise others in his same position to do what he did.

"Don't never give up," he said. "It's never over. As long as you are breathing, just keep fighting."

His sister, Sandra Reeves, said the family is thrilled to have him home and harbors no bad feelings about what happened to him. She said they drew their strength from Porter.

"There were times when I got down, and I could read his letters and just hear the determination in the letters," Reeves said. "And I thank God I drew from that and I held on."

Hatton remains in prison serving a life sentence for the crime.

Harrison, who was never charged with the crime, is serving a drug sentence in state prison.

The third suspect cannot be charged because the statute of limitation has passed.

Sex Discrimination Commissioner, Elizabeth Broderick, said today that the establishment of a single United Nations body to promote equality for women was momentous because it sent an international message that gender equality is and should be important to people and governments around the world.

Commissioner Broderick said UN Women will bring together the financial and human resources of four areas of the United Nations so that its impact on progressing gender equality would be increased. “The establishment of UN Women is significant because it heralds an era where women and girls around the world will have a much stronger and more unified voice about the issues of inequality and discrimination that they face on a daily basis,” said Commissioner Broderick. “And these issues are often the very real issues of poverty, violence, inequality in work, discrimination on the basis of parenting responsibilities and low involvement in social decision-making processes.” Commissioner Broderick said the issue of gender equality is an issue of human rights, something that is often forgotten in wider discussion on the subject. “We forget that the gender equality issues that Australian women face, such as violence, poverty in retirement because of systemic failure to accrue life savings, inequality of pay and low levels of representation in the decision-making processes of our community, are in fact human rights breaches,” Commissioner Broderick said.

Commissioner Broderick said the establishment of UN Women was a positive development, and she looks forward to Australia’s ongoing involvement with it in working towards gender equality for women across the world. Media contacts: Brinsley Marlay – 02 9284 9656 or 0430 366 529

Monday, July 26, 2010

This was written by a Canadian woman, but oh how it also applies to the U.S.A., Canada, U.K., Australia & New Zealand

THIS ONE PACKS A FIRM PUNCH

Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister!

Written by a housewife in New Brunswick , to her local newspaper. This is one ticked off lady.

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from the capitol of the USA and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan ..

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques and behind women and children.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blows themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the Canadian ( and other ) media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank:

I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and 'fed special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts:

I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn you guessed it,

I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.'

I have another quote that I would like to add, AND......I hope you forward all this.

One last thought for the day:

Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ,2. The US Soldier,3. The ANZAC Soldiers,4. The U K Soldier, and5. The Canadian Soldier

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Old Farmer's Advice:
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don 't judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life.. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none..
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
--
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight,
he'll just kill you.
And,

Friday, July 23, 2010

Grandparents Group faces Gagging Order

|

Press release

‘Grandparents Apart Wales’ a group that is dedicated to the welfare of children being reunited with their grandparents is to be silenced or else.

The group have been reporting on a case about social services having failed yet again and have received a letter from a head of children’s services telling them to remove the story or face legal proceedings.

They campaign for grandparents via The Charter for Grandchildren to be first in line to care for children when they need to go into care.

It is well known that the biggest percentage of children that go through the care system are known to be non-achievers lacking in self esteem, crying out for what they were robbed of as a child and are likely to seek comfort in the many gangs that are growing ever faster in our cities.

The audacity of this letter comes at a time when social services are being condemnedUK wide by TV and the media for their reported failures regarding the recent fatalities and lack of care of our children.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Fathers wanted for important survey...about dads' role in early labour

Once labour starts, it’s generally considered advisable for the mother to stay at home as long as possible:if she rushes into hospital early, more medical interventions during the birth usually follow.

Fathers are very important at this point:research by the University of Worcester found that they can be very influential as to whether mothers head straight for hospital or hang on at home.

This survey (which follows one carried out by these same researchers to look at women’s experiences of early labour) is designed to explore what fathers do during early labour, and how they experience that time.

The information gained from the survey should enable midwives to better understand how to help fathers and give them the best possible information.

It’s very important for the researchers to get a large response to their survey.Otherwise the data analysis won’t be accurate or representative. The survey is CONFIDENTIAL and ANONYMOUS. So – PLEASE HELP!

To take part in the survey

FOR EVERYONE:If you can’t contribute to this survey yourself, please pass it to a man who can . . .

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Friday, July 16, 2010

It is hard not to judge people when you hold a grudge for an injustice. It's so hard to have faith when false allegations have created a nasty war zone for a totally innocent - decent bloke.Everybody involved knows that they did big wrongs against me but they also know that is the system and I can't do a bloody thing about it.52 lawyers who can't hold eye contact with me says a lot I trhink!

Just imagine you get called a child abuser and a labelled a violent domestic dad all on the hearsay evidence of a vengeful maternal family and a vindictive police force.Just imgaine you are subjected to malicious and over zealoaus treatment by gender bias government agencies. Tax payer dollars used to try and kill a kiwi father of four.

You enter a decade of misery. First the Family Court hounds your mother to death ( thanks Judge Stretteell and psychologist John Watson!!). As a victim of a travesty of justice you get to visit a round cell in a prison and forced psychotropic medications in a maximum security mental unit.

The damage to my family is irreparable and the heartbreak to myself is beyond measure. My children fueled my passion of life but the corrupt Family Court has obliterated that.

I could go on and on and many good cops and lawyers have said I should write a book because my true tale is tragic.The only problem being is exposing such a terrible ordeal could have possible repercussions for my estranged daughters.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I wanted to share this story with you: http://digg.com/d31WvX9?e
---
"Child visitation rights go unenforced, fathers complain"
The courts use the hammer to force noncustodial parents to pay child support. But no one punishes parents on the other end of the child support orders who defy visitation orders, the fathers said.

In New Zealand a vindictive and vengeful maternal family can go to CYFS and make malicious false allegations of child abuse and then go to the corrupt Family Court armed with false accusations of domestic violence .These are treated as truth by a gender bias judicial system and remain with an innocent father for a life time. His children become brainwashed and confused by the sick lawyers and psychologists who leech blood money from all the misery. Lies are the norm in the Family Court. And the scum that work there say "it's in the child's best interests." Such injustice is heart wrenching.

Sociologist Joel Best once said, “A bad statistic is harder to kill than a vampire.” And no field is more rife with bad statistics than domestic violence.It would seem that the best time to launch a bad statistic about domestic violence is during massively attended sporting events. A gullible public seems to think that high levels of testosterone on a playing field plus alcohol just naturally translates into an astronomical escalation of male fans beating up on their wives and girlfriends.In the latest example of myth-making on the connection between sports and domestic violence, England’s Association of Chief Police Officers stated in May that during the World Cup “cases of domestic abuse increase by nearly 30% on England match days.” The figure came from a study sponsored by the British Home Office, so it seemed credible. The shocking figure sparked a big publicity campaign, with a lurid poster featuring a cowering woman covered in bruises and the imprint of a man’s shoe.But on their weekly show, Law in Action, two BBC legal commentators concluded that the “World Cup Abuse Nightmare” was “a stunt based on misleading figures.” The thirty percent claim came from cherrypicked data and was riddled with flaws, essentially ignoring match days when there was little or no uptick in abuse. An actually trustworthy study done by the London Metropolitan Police Authority contradicted the thirty percent “finding,” but by then the media had a story that was too good to check for veracity.We’ve been scammed before on this subject. Anyone remember the big 1993 Super Bowl Sunday hoax? The media all jumped on a bad statistic and ran with it then too. It was “reported” that domestic violence increased by 40% during the Super Bowl. Journalists called it the “abuse bowl” and NBC ran a public service announcement telling men to stay calm during the game or they would end up in jail.In the same year the National Coalition against Domestic Violence circulated a brochure in which they claimed that half of American women would face violence from their mate and that “more than a third are battered repeatedly every year.” This is simply an outrageous lie – fewer than one percent of the female population can be said to be “battered” – but such was the hysteria around the subject of domestic violence at the time, that people were ready to believe all men were basically monsters.Only one reporter, Ken Ringle of the Washington Post, actually ran down the stat to its source, which was an offhand comment by a feminist activist at a press conference. It was made up out of whole cloth. There was no actual increase of domestic violence during the game. And for the past 17 years since that Super Bowl, no one has found a domestic violence link to it.According to an article in National Review Online by Christina Hoff Summers, author of Who Stole Feminism? and editor of The Science on Women and Science, a major 2007 study examined 2,387 crisis-call records over a three-year period and interviewed abused women and staff in womens’ shelters. Their conclusion: “The widely held belief that more women seek shelter during ‘drinking holidays’ such as New Year’s and the Super Bowl was unsubstantiated.”Why do these myths persist? Because they make great copy and because there is something mesmerizing about a statistic that freezes journalistic brains, especially when the statistics bolster common cultural biases or trends. And one especially pejorative but persisting cultural trend is the impunity with which all men can be demonized. The moral of these hoaxes is to view statistics that paint a negative picture of unusually high numbers of men with deep suspicion.National Post

SANTA ANA – A 25-year-old Santa Ana woman was sentenced to a year in jail Friday for sending hundreds of threatening text messages – to herself.

Jeanne Mundango Manunga's criminal problem was that she blamed the harassing text messages on an ex-boyfriend and his sister-in-law, and reported them to the police.

They were arrested on false charges of making criminal threats and required to post thousands of dollars in bail. The sister-in-law was arrested three times, and spent some time in custody before she could gather enough funds to pay the bail on her third arrest.

A jury convicted Manunga of three felony counts of false imprisonment by fraud or deceit and two misdemeanor counts of making a false police report in May.

On Friday, Superior Court Judge Patrick H. Donahue sentenced Manunga to a year in jail, placed her on three years probation, told her to stay away from her ex-boyfriend and his sister-in-law, and ordered her to repay the victims about $50,000 in restitution.

Deputy District Attorney Mena Guirguis said that after Manunga and her former boyfriend stopped dating in 2008, she took out a pre-paid cell phone in his sister-in-law's name, and started sending the threatening text messages to her regular cell phone.

Manunga then went to three different police departments on at least 19 occasions and claimed that the ex-boyfriend and the sister-in-law were behind the threats.

Her scheme was uncovered when the victims went to the phone store, talked with the salesman and learned that Manunga had bought the pre-paid phone under the sister-in-law's name, Guirguis said.

They reported that information to a Costa Mesa police detective, but by then a third arrest warrant had been issued for the sister-in-law.

During a follow-up investigation, the detective discovered that most of the threatening text messages were sent when the pre-paid cell phone was in close proximity to Manjunga's home or work, Guirguis said.

At the sentencing hearing Friday, the two victims said they were devastated about being arrested on false charges, and worried about clearing their names.

Monday, July 12, 2010

A rare expose of the Family Court bias. The court appointed a lawyer for my two daughters. The first lawyer was Chris Robertson from Ashburton who was a cousin of the maternal family seeking court protection and custody,. I challenged and he stood down and was replaced by Adrienne Edwards a Christchurch battle axe bitch who never bothered to witness the loving interaction between myself and my daughters. Not once in seven years. Is that not bias? I hope both court appointed lawyers rot in hell you sinister sick scum of the earth.The Family Court has destroyed my family. What can I do !!!!

Quote: The judge had advised the social worker "to expect to be challenged
about the father's family issues" during cross-examination, Ms Brasch told
the court. She said the judge also had remarked to the social worker,
regarding the child's paternal grandparents: "I've got a picture of this
family. They are Presbyterian. The mother can't stand up to the father."

Brisbane Family Court trial halted over claims of secret talks with social workerBy Matthew Fynes-Clinton

Photo: Gross photo of Diana Bryant standing in front of a picture of the father-hating moron Alastair Nicholson.

A child custody trial was aborted when a Brisbane Family Court judge disqualified himself after being accused of holding secret talks with a case social worker.

The week-long trial ­ which involved an allegation of sexual abuse against a young girl ­ ended abruptly on April 28 following an application to Justice James Barry from the child's representatives for him to stand aside on the grounds of "apprehended bias".

Family Court Chief Justice Diana Bryant has summoned Justice Barry to a formal interview in Melbourne this week and alerted Federal Attorney-General Robert McClelland to the issues.

Justice Bryant told The Courier-Mail that while she had no specific disciplinary powers, she would be spelling out to Justice Barry the "gravity of the situation for the Court and the serious inappropriateness of the conduct".

"Whilst not entirely agreeing with all that was asserted ... to have been said between him and the (social worker), (Justice Barry) accepted that he had inappropriately discussed the contents of the family report with the (social worker)," Justice Bryant said. "The report was evidence in the proceedings."

Applying for the disqualification, barrister Jacoba Brasch ­ counsel in the trial for the court-appointed Independent Children's Lawyer ­ told Justice Barry that the social worker had informed her of the private talks which took place in the judge's chambers.

"It is ... reported that Your Honour has said in this discussion, 'These men' ­ a reference to (the relative accused of sexual abuse in the case) ­ 'they go off half-cocked, you don't know if they are innocent or ...'." Ms Brasch told the court.

Ms Brasch submitted that she had been told the judge had, in the conversation, said he liked the social worker's independent family report as well as commented on the mother in the dispute and her "overvaluing".

"(The social worker) ... says Your Honour indicated you liked the report and it appears that there were various aspects of the report ... discussed, including what was called the mother's overvaluing," Ms Brasch told the court.

"(The social worker) indicated that Your Honour had said, 'What is it with some mothers and their overvalued ...' and I didn't catch ... the next word."

The judge had advised the social worker "to expect to be challenged about the father's family issues" during cross-examination, Ms Brasch told the court.

She said the judge also had remarked to the social worker, regarding the child's paternal grandparents: "I've got a picture of this family. They are Presbyterian. The mother can't stand up to the father."

The trial, part-heard last October, had resumed on April 22.

Ms Brasch outlined to the court that she "ran into" the social worker near a court elevator on April 23.

"(The social worker) said to me, "The judge had spoken to me," Ms Brasch said. "His Honour (had) asked, 'You can tell by someone's reaction whether they're innocent . . .'. (The social worker) said he said, 'I'm not judge'."

On April 27, Ms Brasch told the court, she took advice from Bar Association of Queensland ethics' counsellors and then further clarified with the social worker the nature of his discussion in Justice Barry's chambers.

"(The social worker) indicated ... he thought this discussion was in March," Ms Brasch told the court. "But it may be there was (another) discussion prior to the trial in October." Ms Brasch told the court that the social worker said he had initially "gone to Your Honour's chambers to discuss another matter".

The social worker was an in-house "family consultant" assigned by the court to impartially help resolve high-conflict custody cases. Family consultants, who may also be psychologists, are effectively witnesses.

Their written reports ­ which make recommendations about parenting arrangements ­ often play a pivotal role in evidence.

The Family Law Act grants no authority to family consultants to interact with a judge beyond providing the reports and giving oral evidence in an open court.

In court, Ms Hogan asked Justice Barry to disqualify himself due to a reasonable apprehension that he would not decide the case in an "impartial and unprejudiced" way.

In responding to the application and aborting the trial, Justice Barry told the court: "I am tempted to make a number of observations but have concluded so far as the discussions with (the social worker) are concerned, discretion is the better part of valour.

"I will be acceding to the application for me to step aside."

One Brisbane barrister told The Courier-Mail that any closed conference between a judge and a family consultant raised the possibility of one party influencing the other ­ unbeknown to the litigants and their counsel.

"How a trial should be conducted is not a matter of private briefings and discussions," the barrister said.

"It's got to be clear (to the court) what the judge is making his mind up on. The process of evidence has got to be transparent."

A top divorce lawyer said the events had rocked Queensland's family law fraternity and reflected a "mickey mouse" court.

"It's a disgrace," said the lawyer.

The abandoned trial, which entailed substantial court and legal costs, will be re-heard before another judge.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Male abuse victims with nowhere to go

A couple are in the kitchen, fighting. Their children are listening from the next room.

It's a familiar scene of domestic abuse that's been going on for years.

One of them grabs a pot of boiling liquid from the stovetop and throws it at the other; the pot hits them in the shoulder, knocking them off balance and the victim is scalded.

Most people reading this will assume the victim is a woman but in a number of cases, it will be a man - it is just that most men do not report abuse.

Psychologist Dr Elizabeth Celi says female aggression is on the rise and so is the number of men experiencing abuse and violence from women.

"Men can certainly experience physical violence by female perpetrators and it can range from biting, scratching, punching, kneeing in the groin, throwing hot water on him, domestic objects being projectiles, it can get pretty severe.

"Let's not be fooled into thinking that female perpetrators are any less damaging when it comes to violence."

Research from Edith Cowan University, commissioned by the Men's Advisory Network or MAN, has found men don't report abuse because they have a hard time getting their friends and colleagues to believe them.

"Male victims are just not recognised, they're right off the radar, nobody even acknowledges that they exist," says Gary Bryant, chief executive of MAN.

Mr Bryant says the network commissioned the report when it realised there was very little that existed to assist men who have been abused.

Denial

The study was headed by Alfred Allan, a professor of psychology at Edith Cowan University.

His team surveyed male abuse victims and almost 200 service providers.

Professor Allan says men experience the same sort of abuse that women do, starting with verbal abuse escalating to violent abuse.

"Many men don't actually think about it as abuse, there's a lot of denial. Secondly, even if they understand, they're often very ashamed and think this doesn't happen to a bloke, I should be able to cope and it's very embarrassing to talk to anyone about it, and then they don't know who to go to.

"They're worried they won't be believed because our society doesn't think of men as victims."

The study made several recommendations including a government-funded campaign to raise awareness of the issue to complement the campaigns about violence against women and children.

It also found there should be more services specifically for male victims and provision of training for health and welfare workers to deal with men more effectively.

Dr Celi agrees more specialised services must be aimed at men.

"At the moment, there aren't many because a lot of them have been developed on the back of many decades of helping female victims and male perpetrators.

"Services need to take into account some of those barriers that men experience internally, the shame and the guilt in disclosing first up, because unfortunately more often than not, men are disbelieved and disregarded and they're more likely to retreat and suffer in silence."

Dr Celi says men need appropriate counselling services just as much as women do.

"Where female victims were, prior to the much-needed social education of the past few decades, modern man is experiencing now.

"Men can go to counselling where there's anonymity, confidentiality - a supportive environment where he can re-build his self-worth and learn assertiveness skills and helps him realise where he's a victim."

Long road ahead

The Men's Advisory Network hopes the State Government will look at and implement the report's recommendations, but Gary Bryant is aware there's a long road ahead.

"Hopefully some of the service providers, those that are already providing counselling services for men or maybe some of the domestic violence services that are working with women, will recognise that men are also victims and will be prepared to offer support to them.

"For example, the domestic violence helpline. It'd be great if it was to help both male perpetrators, which is what it's set up for, as well as male victims."

Friday, July 9, 2010

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway.. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its

dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.