British Expat Mummy in Dubai

It has begun. Time to sowly start potty training Bubba coz it”s got to be better than fly kicks while changing diarrhoea nappies right? FML. Does this glamous job of dodging flying shit to the face, ever end? Nope. And now having to aim it into a non-face-like hole is every parents challenge, because obviously…

Saltymamas posted a hilarious blog post about the texts they’ve sent each other (read it here) and I can SO relate. As it’s the summer holidays, shit has got real! My brain is in overdrive, my clothes are on backwards, I laughcrydrink on cue and been eating cake everyday, just to numb the senses with…

In case you didn’t know, it’s World Breastfeeding Week and as I’m currently breastfeeding Bambi on demand, let’s talk boobs. They hurt. They leak. They need pads. They cannot be de-attached (I tried). The milk is the best form of nutrition for your little one. But sometimes we can’t Effing do it! #realtalk I love…

Bambi is 6 months old today! We made it! Happy half a birthday sweetie!🎈 – a real excuse for me to whip up a cake in a mug with half a candle left from the toddler “tasting” the other half (because we do that now).. I can’t believe it. No really, I actually can’t. I’m…

As if taking one child to the mall wasn’t hard enough, if like me, you chose to birth a second offspring (so the first one “isn’t lonely”), then congratulations.. Shopping for absolutely anything will never be the same. I have no idea why I do this to myself, brave the impossible because I already know…

Shit. I can’t believe this day has come. Many talk about this day with their best friend since they were kids, always making wedding scrap books with delicate cut outs from the Princess magazines and always picturing the big fairy tale wedding dress that Cinderella wore. But we never did. Because F Disney. We make…

I am lucky enough to be passed the happiness torch from The Wordy Mom’s 10 things that make me happy and after reading her list, there were so many things that actually make me happy from just reading and relating. I feel like we can find happiness from others happiness and that’s a beautiful thing…..

Or pierced.. whatever.. My initial thought when daddybasic bought up the topic was no.. but he kept insisting that the earlier the better. Probably true because when I first got my ears pierced at flipping 7 years old with a piercing gun, shiiiiiit did it effing hurt. And I still remember it. I bawled my…

Getting a 2 year old to ACTUALLY eat is a flipping nightmare. Some would rather attempt to eat the Dettol handwash than human food. I’ve been there done that, it does get better! My general rule is keep it simple and colourful. Anything I can whip up with one hand and half a body is…

Living in Dubai is very different from the carefree holidays you can have here. Actually living here can be financially challenging, especially with being sucked into the glam lifestyle promoted everywhere. So here are the top 5 things you need to know when you join the expat life so you’re in the loop.. I hope…

I’m sick to death of Bob the sodding train and his alphabet song. So here is my version: A is for Apocalypse, the state my house is in. B is for Bedtime, the dramatic time of the day where noone wants to sleep and everyone wants to cry, take a shit and eat the baby…

For Bubba’s last day at nursery before summer break, we went full cute mode. Partly because I was the one having separation anxiety and NEEDED him to be not forgotten. I mean how could you? He’s cute, he’s entertaining and he’s so loving (when fully fed). So I got bubba to draw one card for…