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If you are Caucasian, you probably fall somewhere in the middle on both counts. Now get this straight before you get angry, I’m not saying I believe this sort of thing. I’m not sure why someone felt they really really needed to do a study on this, but they did. I mean, IQ tests are great if you’re good at shapes and numbers and all that sh*t. Like, just say, you’re the leading world expert on, I dunno, the European red-breasted swallow, and have an encyclopedic knowledge of everything pertaining to that creature. You will suck at IQ tests - does that mean you are unintelligent?

My hunch is that it wasn’t someone with a gigantic trouser snake, know what I’m sayin’? But there are lots of flaws with some of the assumptions being made here. The sort of person often considered primitive or backward in traditional Western thinking – let’s say a tribesman from New Guinea, for example – is pretty damn intelligent if you ask me. I on the other hand, consider myself to be of above average intelligence, and a couple of dodgy IQ tests seem to back that up.

So apparently, East Asian people are really brainy but are somewhat lacking in the trousers department.

People of African origin tend to perform less well on IQ tests, yet as popular culture tells us, are seriously packin’ down there.

If well-endowed men do indeed tend to have less mental acuity, is that because they don’t need it?

I mean, are the magnificently hung at such an evolutionary advantage that they don’t need smarts in order to pass on their meaty genes on to the next generation?