Rants, ravings, and a cynical view of the world of high fashion, and beyond, courtesy of Nightshade Beauty...Canadian Makeup Artist, Wardrobe Stylist, and Opinionated Know-it-All.
See underneath the glitz and glitter of fashion's high rollers...it's time to see the world of high fashion in a whole new light...and realize that they're really full of shit.

1/18/10

This Week in High Fashion: If she were alive, Marilyn Monroe would hate you.

This Week in High Fashion: If she were alive, Marilyn Monroe would hate you.

I'm talking to you Lindsay Lohan...yes you...you little tartlet.A friend of mine passed a website on to me today with some oh so fabulous things on it...and I just couldn't help but flip up the laptop and spew about it.

Y'know how there are people that you meet in life, and they have this little thing that they love to do, but they're really not good at it, but somewhere along the line someone told them that they were awesome and could be the next big thing if they just stuck with it, and they stuck with it and now you can't get them to stop? Yeah...Lindsay Lohan is like that. Someone stared straight at her chest and told her that she could sing, act, and DESIGN clothing. WTF people.Emmanual Ungaro was the first on the list of big names who were convinced that having Little LoHo as a consultant could make a difference in their line, and with WEEKS to prepare, a runway full of popsicle coloured giant blazers and barely there skirts were trotted out...along with a fairly drunk looking Lindsay and a rather ashamed looking main designer. Last time I checked, the guy who thought that it would be a good idea to hire her...was fired...but miraculously, Linds has been kept on.

Lo and behold...some one else thought that Lindsay Lohan was a fashion "icon"...now I put this in air quotes because when I think of fashion icons...I think of Rita Hayworth, Audrey Hepburn, Dita von Tease (yes I do), Julia Roberts, Charlize Theron, Marilyn herself....I do NOT for a SECOND think of Lindsay Lohan...that would be like thinking of Mary Kate Olsen as a style and body image role model. It's just not happening people!Maybe I need to go to LA, maybe I need to see for myself just WTF is happening with the "world" to create a fashion icon out of a club skank.

The many looks of Lohan...oh wait...they're ALL leggings!!! She's SOOOOO iconic.*BARF*

To my right, Lindsay LoHoTo the left, the silly aging designer women with money who thought this would be a good idea to pad their retirements with.

But, as usual, I digress.I was talking about this website.Lindsay Lohan is a designer...yes...not of dresses, not of shoes, not of anything functional...she designs....leggings. YES I said LEGGINGS.

Lindsay Lohan...posing with 2 of my most hated things ever...spandex and animal print.You need to step away from the spandex, woman.

And not just ANY leggings...I'm talking leggings with quilted kneepads built in...and they all have names...this little number...is called "Mr. President". Is this tongue in cheek? Or tongue somewhere else? Here I thought Lindsay idolized Marilyn Monroe, the line is titled after her birthday (http://www.6126collection.com/) ...but from what I can see from this site, it's um...not working."Here, buy these whore leggings, you won't have to worry about rug burn when you're going down on your boss ever again! But he'd better pay you well because they're almost $200 USD."

BUT not only are they the most scandalously bad-taste pants I have ever seen...they're also sold out. And I"m not kidding. "Inspired by MM's "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" performance, with sassy quilted leather knee patches that are all flirtatious wink. Our most popular design is also the most audacious"

"I'm not interested in money, I just want to be wonderful"~Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn was a simple creature wasn't she? Lindsay is a much more complex woman...she needs that cash so she can teach other girls to think it's ok to dress like a streetwalker.

I'm sorry little girl...you are doomed. I'm all for charity, but who knows what Lindsay's passing along with her support.

I'm so excited that there's even a space on the site for Lindsay's blog...on how to live life "luminously". Something tells me she had to look up the spelling on that one. I'm also happy to report, that there are a grand total of 4 posts on the blog from March to now. How is one to live life luminously without Lindsay's guidance?????

Iconic my ass.Oh wait...I can see her ass...and thank GOD there's a stripper pole in this picture, otherwise how would their clientele know where to wear these creations?!

Finally, since the site is covered in poor Marilyn's quotes, which were obviously chosen by someone who didn't know what the line was going to include...

"I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one."- Marilyn Monroe

Well honey...I'm so sorry, but they're using your good name to make that happen. Let the rolling in your grave commence.

If you see this beautiful, iconic, sylph of a woman and think of various styles of leggings...there is something seriously medically wrong with you.I'm sorry Marilyn. I truly am.

1 comment:

As someone in LA, I am very sorry to report that leggings are extremely popular. And they don't seem to be going away. Any crackwhore with leggings looks like a runway model over here. Sad, I know. As a Marilyn Monroe fanatic, the line disgusts me.

About Me

Nightshade Beauty started out in a small town on the Island just west of Vancouver BC knowing that there was something better out there...just a ferry ride away. Now escaped, Nightshade is free to paint the faces of Vancouver AND BEYOND! As more than just a MUA, Nightshade someday hopes to take over the world...one stylishly cynical step at a time.