No skipping the Super Bowl commercials (PHOTOS)

Remember when NBA star Yao Ming got turned down in New York City when he tried to buy a souvenir Statue of Liberty -- all because he didn't have a Visa Check Card and the ID? This 2003 Super Bowl classic called "Yo!" is one we won't forget. Click through the photos to see how many commercials from Madison Avenue's Super Bowl you can recall. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER,

ANAHEIM – Ryan Matas sounds a little like cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead — or maybe more like "Gorillas in the Mist" American zoologist Dian Fossey — when he recalls the peculiar behavior of the viewing crowd that wedges itself — some 1,200 people strong — inside this ESPN Zone sports habitat on a Super Bowl Sunday.

"The place is absolutely wild, so loud, with so many people cheering when there's a score, and it's as if they cut out a section of the Super Bowl stadium and put in right in our (Downtown Disney) location," said Matas, the ESPN Zone Anaheim general manager who has worked America's sports holiday for the past several years.

"But what's different on Super Bowl Sunday compared to every other possible sporting event," he said with scientist-like authority, "is that the entire place tones down, gets still and quiet when the commercials come on."

Click on the photo for a slide show of popular Super Bowl commercials through the years.

This is Americana cut up into 30-second segments of our times. We viewers have been conditioned by the Madison Avenue to expect the most irreverent, creative, cute, clever, sometimes obtuse, sometimes sentimental but potentially memorable, iconic and cultural phenomenal ad campaigns out of every Super Bowl.

There will be 68 spots scheduled for Sunday's Super Bowl XLV between the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers, each marketer launching a Hail Mary pass for your disposable-income dollar — or mental engagement.

So when the football field fades to black for a commercial break on all 120 high-definition screens mounted everywhere in ESPN Zone — even above each stall in the women's restroom — the NFL jersey-clad fans who chatter and cheer quiet. The football cognoscenti who give table-side commentary, the guys who noisily bus tables and the booming broadcasters' voices that blare critique from the ceiling's speakers quickly turn silent.

The bartenders who pull on taps, the sticky-fingered diners who feast on ribs, the people who graze between three bars, the teens who battle in air hockey in the second-floor arena, and the chaos of patrons who move, flush the toilets or did something else while half-watching the football game all stop.

The masses know to devote their complete and undivided attentions to Madison Avenue's Super Bowl, which has produced the 30-second passion plays that live and stream forever as viral YouTube videos.

Remember supermodel Cindy Crawford sipping a frosty can of Pepsi from a vending machine on a sweltering day in a country town (1992)? How about Pittsburgh Steeler Mean Joe Greene accepting a bottled Coca-Cola after a game from a young fan and offering the kid his jersey as thanks (1980)?

Or octogenarian actress Betty White easy-stepping through a crossing route before getting clocked in a pickup football game (Snickers, 2010)? That ER patient getting diagnosed with what doctors call "money coming out of the whazoo" (E*Trade, 2000)? The Orwellian scenes in Apple Computer's 1984 ad?

Or Budweiser's bromantic phone-call chronicles that turned "Wassup!!!" into an annoying catchphrase (2000). That amphibious ad featuring a trio of frogs in a ribbititng roll call "Bud," "Weis" and "Er" from the marsh (1995)? And Anheuser Busch's Clydesdales galloping in year after year to tug on our heart reins?

Or thousands of cats being herded on a prairie by cowboys on horseback (EDS, 2000)?

Remember when NBA star Yao Ming got turned down in New York City when he tried to buy a souvenir Statue of Liberty -- all because he didn't have a Visa Check Card and the ID? This 2003 Super Bowl classic called "Yo!" is one we won't forget. Click through the photos to see how many commercials from Madison Avenue's Super Bowl you can recall. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 1984, Apple Computers, "1984." The ad introducing the Macintosh is considered by many to be the most iconic Super Bowl commercial of all time. Highly stylized and symbolic with its depiction of a sledgehammer-wielding woman preparing to combat the Orwellian Big Brother establishment (of say IBM?), the ad appeared only during the Super Bowl and never again. Some people might still be trying to figure it out the deep, dark meaning behind the cinematic bite. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2005, GoDaddy.com, "Strapless." A citizen testifying in congressional hearings on "C-Spin" suffers a "wardrobe malfunction." The GoDaddy.com campaigns have been successful because they tease viewers about "seeing more" by going to their Web site. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2001, Bud Light, "Cedric the Entertainer I." The original Cedric ad made quite the splash when the comedian shakes his Bud Lights with excitement over possibly making out with a beauty. But things don't quite work out when he opens the bottle. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2001, Doritos, "Ali Landry Tennis." The Former Miss USA actress/model tries to get her mouth around the bold-tasting chip and winds up taking a yellow fuzzy ball right in the kisser. This is another installment that blends sex and slapstick for Landry, the Doritos Girl who made her debut during the 1998 Super Bowl. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2008, Budweiser, "Team Clydesdale." The Clydesdales reunite with the Dalmation to work the farm in the latest edition of the sentimental dog and big pony show. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2007, Budweiser, "Fake Dalmation." An adorable stray dog gets turned away at the butcher shop but sees his fortunes change when he becomes splotched with mud by passing motorists and suddenly is able to pass for a Dalmation. He gets to a seat on a parade float – and the pretty girl. And this makes us want to drink beer because ... TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2010, Snickers, "Betty White." The veteran actress dashes from scrimmage to get open but gets whacked by defenders ... until she eats a Snickers bar that restores her energy and White's career as well. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2006, CBS, "The Late Show with David Letterman." Speaking of Super Bowl commercial surprises... Letterman in a Peyton Manning jersey winds up sharing a cozy loveseat in front of the television with Oprah Winfrey. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2008, FedEx, "Carrier Pigeon." If we relied on carrier pigeons to send our important documents instead of FedEx, the annoying pigeons would become gigantic, Godzilla-like urban terrors and not our feathered friends. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2003, Visa, "Yo." This plug for Visa Check Card was a hit featuring a very recognizable Yao Ming getting denied when he tried to by a souvenir Statue of Liberty with a check and without ID at a NYC store. Yo! It was Yao! In the final scene, even Yogi Berra struck out without a Visa Check Card. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2000, E*Trade, "Whazoo." ER doctors diagnose a patient with money coming out of the whazoo. Not everyone is so lucky. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2003, Charles Schwab, "Barry Bonds and Hank Aaron." This was a sign of the times of when the slugger and the stock market seemed like legitimate enterprises. Bonds, seen taking batting practice in his home-run king days, needs trustworthy retirement advice from ... Hammerin' Hank. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2002, Pepsi, "Britney Spears Montage." This four-spot series featured the pop diva pitching pop and performing through the decades. The big-budget production fizzled out and felt flat ... much like Spears. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2002, Dockers, "Ballroom Dancing." The "Nice Pants" campaign continued with this commercial feature three guys' guys talking golf in their black cocktail dresses before they find themselves jealous of a man dancing in Dockers. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2008, E*Trade, "Talking Baby." The debut of the stock-trading talking baby stole the show. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2006, Pizza Hut, "Cheesy Bites and Jessica Simpson." It's not Chicken of the Sea but ... Simpson, not known as a foodie, ditches a red-carpet event to take the stretch limo to The Hut when she learns of the new guilty pleasure. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2006, Sprint, "Connectile Dysfunction." Sometimes a pun isn't fun. The attempt to be clever didn't connect with fans. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2001, Bud Light, "What are YOU doing?" Bud Light spoofs its own "Wassup" phenomenon with a prepster version of the man phone tree greeting. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2000, EDS, "Cat Herders." The spoof on the trials of these True Grit cowboys who have it rough -- and get scratched -- to get Fluffy across the prairie has been one of the funniest, most liked and most memorable ads in Super Bowl history. It was also among the least effective since the commercial had little association with its sponsor, Electronic Data Systems, whose "EDS" logo was flashed at the ad's conclusion. What does EDS do? TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2000, Bud Light, "Wassup." Super Bowl-watching buddies call from the bar and want to know whether their pal, at home watching figure skating with his girlfriend, is watching the game. "Waaaassup!!!!!" spawned a series of spinoffs and became a cultural catchphrase. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2003, Reebok, "Terry Tate: Office Linebacker" Bruising and intimiidating co-worker Terry Tate gets rough in the workplace to encourage toughness and hard work. He leaves a path of destruction between the cubicles, flattening innocents but not that much of a sales pitch for the product that brougt us here: Reebok. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2000, Motorola, "Bleeth." Hottie actress Yasmine Bleeth arrives to pick up her car from the repair shop where the two attendants – huge fans – stall her while e-messaging all of their friends that "SHE is here." TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 1999, FedEx, "Stanley Cup." The Stanley Cup winds up in Bolivia instead of in Detroit, where the Red Wings get stiffed out of a trophy celebration because the Cup didn't travel by FedEx. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 1998, FedEx, "Boob." You don't need to spend millions on computer animation or celebrity appearances to have an effective ad. This classic "silent film" features a company's apology in a crawler, claiming that its $1.3 million humorous ad with Garth Brooks, Kangaroo music and "Baywatch" girls didn't make it to NBC for the Super Bowl broadcast because "some boob" from its ad agency didn't use FedEx. Now that agency is out of a client. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2003, FedEx, "Cast Away." The delivery company known for its clever commercials that are irreverent while remaining relevent spoofs the film in which Tom Hanks winds up stranded alone on an island after his FedEx plane crashes at see. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2005, Bud Light, "Cedric the Entertainer." Another installment in the Cedric series. The comedian's island getaway turns out to be just a fantasy as he ultimately winds up marooned with Man's Best Friend ... and of course, plenty of Bud Light. So it's not all bad. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2008, Icebreakers, "Meet Carmen Electra." Bodyguards wind up tackling a fan during "Meet Carmen Electra" day. If only he had minty fresh breath. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2003, Miller Light, "Cat Fight" This shameless, over-the-top sexism featured two women whose argument over whether the beer tastes great or is less filling turns violent ...and then wet because they're by a fountain... and then they're half-naked because clothes were injured in battle... and then they're wrestling because, oh look, there's mud. Male or female, you were laughing. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 1992, Pepsi, "Just One Look" Supermodel Cindy Crawford struts into the local gas-and-sip for Pepsi to cool off. She's sexy, sure. But instead of being sleazy, the ads succeeds in being endearing as two young boys watching from across the way comment on the cool design of the new can. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2002, Budweiser, "Respect." Aired only once to preserve the power of the ad, the Clydesdales traveling to New York City after 9/11 and lower their heads to pay their respects to all that was lost in the tragedy. The poignant commercial was a departure for Budweiser's more uplifting and entertaining ads. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2010, Disney, "Disneyland." This commercial is more of a rite of passage and part of the prize package for the Super Bowl MVP than an ad. Super Bowl XLIV MVP quarterback Drew Brees of the New Orleans Saints got asked the familiar question as he was leaving the field. "You just won the Super Bowl. Now where are you going to go?" And the answer is, "I'm going to Disneyland." TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2000, E-Trade, "Monkey Dance" Two guys sit in a garage with a dancing monkey and mock the entire enterprise of Super Bowl commercials, announcing "Well, we just wasted $2 million." The ad was really funny and smart, unlike wasting money. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2005, Heineken." Beer Run": Director David Fincher tries to give actor Brad Pitt the right sex appeal for selling Heineken in one of the more stylized campaign in recent memory. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 1995, Budweister, "Frogs." The commercial brought together a trio of frogs on the marsh, ribbitting their names "Bud," "Weis" and "Er." The frogs gave way several spinoffs, including a four-part Super Bowl commercial series with the frogs and another with lizards. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2008, Gatorade G2, "Jeter's Footsteps." New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter walks the streets of New York City, a man among the people. Then he downs a sports drink. The punchline comes when NFL Pro Bowl quarterback Peyton Manning sees the commercial and takes to the turf in his street shoes. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 1980, Coca Cola, "Mean Joe Greene and the Kid." Many people remember this ad as the first real Super Bowl classic commercial. It has won the title of "Best Super Bowl commercial" six times and actually didn't make its debut in the Super Bowl but during the 1979 season. In the ad, a young fan offter the legendary Pittsburgh Steeler a cold Coke after the game. Greene, the gentle giant, quickly accepts the gift and the kid his Steelers jersey. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 1999. Monster.com, "When I Grow up." In this monochromatic, bleak but thought-provoking ad, children offer their hopes and dreams for the future amid a competitive job market. Among the aspirations are "I want to be a 'Yes' man," "I want to have a brown nose," and "I want to climb my way up to middle management." Funny but sad. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 1993, McDonald's, "Showdown." NBA legends Larry Bird and Michael Jordan get serious the a serious game of HORSE with the the high-stakes prize of ... a Big Mac. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER, 2003, Bud Light, "Butt Drinker." The jokes starts with "A clown walks (on his hands) into a bar and had to grab the beer some how.... Not sure whether Bud Light got all the bang for this butt... Or whether this butt of jokes was all that memorable. Butt I couldn't resist throwing it in. TEXT BY MARCIA C. SMITH/THE REGISTER,

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