Few collisions between befuddled consumer and equally befuddled marketer have ever been quite as exhilarating as that of the Great Soft Drink Calamity of the 1990s, a decade littered with short-lived, ill-advised beverage concepts. A year ago, Buzzfeed pointed out that a single can of Surge (RIP) was up for sale on eBay for the hefty sum of $99.99. Inexplicably, there are currently four bottles of the "texturally enhanced alternative" beverage Orbitz (also RIP) available for $60. There is a weathered promotional banner for the world's first Guarana-laced soft drink, Josta (RIP, party bro), for $80. Or maybe you were more partial to Crystal Pepsi (burp), the mega-brand's baffling attempt to appeal not so much to alterna-kids but health nuts in search of something more pure, a cola completely free of coloring. A bottle of the diet variety will set you back just 40 bucks at the moment. And at the time of this blurb's writing, there is a single, unopened can of OK Soda (replete with Daniel Clowes artwork) in "mint condition," available to you, thirsty "slacker," for bids starting at $2,900. "Never been opened," the seller notes. "Not sure what is inside. I can hear something that sounds like coins, I think. No rusts or dents. Extremely rare find." Sounds about right. DAVID BEVAN