Wednesday, January, 14, 09

Dear Clint Eastwood

I laughed when I first saw the preview for Gran Torino. It looks like a bad made for TV movie (assuming that there are any good made for TV movies). I half expected Patty Duke to walk on set. Then again, Patty Duke tends to have better taste…even if it is of the cheesy variety.

How many more stories do we need about noble whitey saving the poor people of color? Some people, well, one person, who will remain nameless, has faith in you. This person seems to think that you are not that shallow and that there will be something deeper, some underlying message that proves you are deserving of the praise constantly showered on you.

I can see where the movie is going. You help these kids out, not because you are a good person, but because you don’t want any low-life gangsters hanging around your perfectly kept lawn…or even worse! your beautiful car. But you get to know this family, their struggles, maybe you even learn you have commonalities, and you learn that being a racist isn’t so cool, and only makes you a lonely bitter person. I bet one of those kids dies. Oh god, even better, maybe your character dies and the whole community comes to your funeral to show their love! That would be a way better ending. Kind of like that waste of space, Pay it Forward.

I know you have made a career partially based solely on that gravely voice. And hey, I am a fan. But all those Christian Bale Batman haters…where are they? How come Bale gets crap for doing something completely sane like changing his obviously distinguishable voice into one that no one can place – after all, being a caped crusader means going unrecognized! – yet no one seems to care that you use your harsh tones to try and create a more powerful impact? Maybe the voice thing is natural. I don’t know. I have only ever heard you speak in a movie role. Maybe I am taking my annoyance a little far. Really, it was an excuse to call out the Batman haters.

Well Clint, Mr. Eastwood. whatever…I hope I am wrong. I doubt it. Honestly, even if there is some deeper message, some twist away from the formula, the fact remains that you are telling a story with a tired theme. This is why I did not want to see Iron Man. While that movie was not exactly what I had expected, it kept true to that basic idea, everyone needs the white saviour. Go on with your badass Dirty Harry self and maintain the status quo.