I’ve never had the good fortune of finding myself alone riding the subway, but I should probably carry a cigar and a good bottle of bourbon around with me at all times just in case the momentous event ever shall occur. And I don’t even smoke cigars — that’s how big of a deal it is.

Fortunately, he was on the train at noon. If movies featuring Rampage Jackson and Vinnie Jones have taught me anything, it’s that you don’t want to be on a midnight train alone (and then joined suddenly by Vinnie Jones).

Same here. I once was on a subway line at 2am. The only other person was a homeless woman. She shot snot rockets out of both nostrils, stood up, took her muumuu off, grabbed her jug of water, rolled her muumuu up and soaked it in water, and proceeded to wash herself (leg up on the seat).