Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Thursday, December 15, 2005

It’s 23 degrees (Fahren-fuckin-heit). I’m at the train station at 4 am waiting for the train to Newark Airport. Since it is four in the morning the waiting room is shut and I’m out on the platform, at the mercy of the elements.

I have dressed in layers. An overcoat, a blazer, shirt and a T-shirt. Well layers on the top, where I am uncomfortably warm and beginning to sweat. The rest of me feels like your average Naked Person Stuck At The North Pole In Winter.

So…If we average it out, I am actually quite comfortable.

Side note: Me, Gym Shorts and Shakira having an Orgasm on the Gym Television screens. The potential for embarrassment looms large. (Yes I did mean that double-entendre.).

I vote that Shakira get the award for Best Televised Orgasm. She can win the sub-categories too, Best Orgasm with a Sports Car, Best Orgasm with a Sand Dune, Best Orgasm with a Can of Black Paint, Best Orgasm with a Rolled Up Newspaper, Best Orgasm With a Non-Rolled Up Newspaper. And the critics award, Best Moan in A-Minor.

I dislike most music videos. I truly do.

I do like the New Victoria’s secret advertisement. According to it, there are mind bogglingly gorgeous women who lounge about in their underwear and moan suggestively. They are a more evolved form of humanity that has gone beyond the need for any clothes which cover more that a square inch of skin. Their purpose isn’t quite clear yet, but I’m sure that with time enlightenment will come (This one was completely unintentional). Personally, I believe that they are here to solve world hunger and end human conflict. Perhaps by making out with each other. However, making any conclusions now would be premature (Freudian slip).