Wednesday Zing!

• Dirk, I have a couple of tree limbs that could use your chainsaw talents and will provide you with more free firewood.

• Anyone want to make a bet on the Legislature redrawing congressional districts fairly? The sky will be full of flying pigs first.

• Nothing like a “quick fix” for a serious matter. I’m thinking duct tape on a crack in an airplane’s wing.

• I have my NRA-approved AR-15 with 100-round clip and am ready for my hunting trip to the King Ranch in Texas courtesy of Florida big sugar. What number do I call to set this up?

• Georgia’s Newt is just about extinct also, but thankfully, no one is trying to bring him back.

• Seen the commercials? I love Gwen Graham’s new program: “Bring your daddy to work day!”

• “Ebola is not likely to spread here ...” I’m not likely to be struck by lightning, but I don’t go out in a thunderstorm.

• My wife said she had set her sights too low, after hearing that her fellow Leon High alum Cheryl Hines had married Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

• “Country ham-crusted Gulf cobia with spiny lobster gyoza, caramelized baby bok choy and a Florida orange and saffron emulsion.” Make mine with catsup and a side of cheese grits.

Zing!, too, enjoys the simpler things in life. Email zing@tallahassee.com or write P.O. Box 990, Tallahassee, FL 32302. And be sure to check out the Zing! blog at Tallahassee.com or on Twitter at @zinginbox.