Happeness.
Monday July 3, 2017

One of the routes to happiness is to enjoy 'happeness' - to find reasons to be cheerful in the moment. No huge long-term commitment is necessary, just a sense of 'looking for the good' at this point, right now. 'Happeness', then, is my word for 'Happiness-as-it-happens'.

Why is this important? It seems generations have been searching for 'Happiness' – an oasis of bliss in the desert that Life can sometimes be. When asked, "Are you 'Happy'?" most of us have to honestly declare, "No!" because we are not – not if Happiness is an enduring state of mind, the place where we permanently dwell.

'Happiness' is a verb that's been turned into a noun. My hairline has receded. That didn't happen overnight – it was a long process. 'Recession' is a similar noun – the result of the process of receding. 'Happiness' would seem to be the process of being 'Happy' over a period of time. 'Happiness' doesn't happen overnight either. Like recession, perhaps we can reach happeness one hair at a time! The equivalent of each hair would be one, single experience of 'Happeness'. Even when Life isn't pleasant, I still find those moments of Happeness: the Oak seedling in the middle of the lawn that I dug up to nurture, the Clematis seed head dripping with rain drops like jewels, the breath-taking beauty of the Cirrus clouds, the warm, chocolatey resonance of Mickey – the Cat's purr, the scent of fresh Coffee, the joy of sharpening my pencil...

Here's how the new word happened... I was on my way to see my lads on Father's Day. It was rather busy on the roads, and I was making slow progress. The weather was gorgeous weather. Mentally, I was in a good place, ready for some fresh revelation.

A real 'Aha!' moment happened (!) concerning transforming 'happiness' by changing just one letter - from 'happiness' to 'happeness'. I realised how one of the pathways to happiness is to realise how we can cherish the moment.

It was Father's Day. I'd got some moments ahead of me to cherish. I was reflecting on how a lot of people are oppressed by regrets from the past, or perhaps fears of unfulfilled hopes for the future, whereas, 'now' is the moment in which we live and move and have our being! This is where it happens. Thus, I think that 'happeness' may be one of the pathways to happiness - to enjoy this moment now. Happen, happy, happenstance... a family of words.

I have many reasons to regret the past, and huge fears for the future but neither of these serve me very well. I need a new strategy, a new pattern of thinking.

There I was, sitting in very, very busy traffic, on a very, very hot day... happy! Other drivers, stuck in the same traffic, did not look happy! I was happy because I'd brought with me great stuff to listen to. I was stuck in traffic - utterly inspired! - utterly happy!

There it was and is then: Happeness - one of the pathways to happiness – a way to enjoy the journey. Whatever you are doing today, I wish you safe journeys, great happiness, and, above all, great happeness.

Comments

Molly Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 1:23am

I liked your video Lex, it was good to see you and put a face to a name. I liked the idea of you recording it in your car, as we all go on this 'journey' together. I will always remember the word happeness now and will try hard to make use of it ! Thank you, Molly xx

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 9:52am

Hi Molly, I have to say a BIG 'Thank You!' to you too, as I have just devoured "The Curious Incident..." What a brilliant book! Here's to lots of Happeness! xx

Molly Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 4:37pm

:-) glad you liked the book Lex, I'm going to read it again now :-) xx

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:08pm

Oh, yes! And so many aspects. I relished the clarify of communication that Christopher required. So many lessons... xx

Jane SG Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:02am

Loved the video. Isn't it funny how people never look like how you've imagined them! You look a lot younger than I thought Lex- am I allowed to say that?!!!
I will focus on the here and now as much as possible today. Although I am finally going to the GP to ask to be signed off work for two weeks. Unheard of for me but I need rest, recuperation and space. I also want time to plan my future. So a bit of here and now but a little bit also of thinking ahead. Thanks Lex x

Bearofliddlebrain Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:09am

You must need a bit of time off, after the fun blog you wrote yesterday. Hope our GP gives you sufficient time off to be you, to look after yourself and Geoffrey Sam! Bear hugs x

Bearofliddlebrain Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:20am

Bet, Jane....have left a message or two on yesterday's blog...I arrived late to the Bears picnic, sorry - Bear hugs xx

The Gardener Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 8:52am

Leah wrote a blog recently 'Do I sound like that?', I will not watch videos - Lex may have the most mellifluous voice - but voices affect me - and often annoy (no offence Lex) so I will stay with the often stimulating cut and thrust of the written word. Same applies to actors - the marvellous Nigel Hawthorne was 'forced' to 'come out' to stop speculation. This also maddens me, all I want is to be entertained by that marvellous actor, not to be forced to know what goes on in his private life. Am I an old curmudgeon?

Jane SG Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 9:04am

Thank you bearoffliddlebrain, what a lovely message. I will cuddle Geoffrey Sam today! Im feeling a bit weepy. Thanks also for your response to my blog, I have replied :) xx

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 9:55am

Hi Jane SG, I'll find a way to send you a picture of my own Geoffrey (a tiny collector's bear). He's my best bear now having romantically given my childhood bear to a girlfriend many years ago - couldn't think of anything more precious to give! And I'm quite happy to be perceived as 'younger'! xx

Jane SG Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 1:03pm

Hi Lex, I would love a picture of your Geoffrey! What a lovely gift you gave to your ex girlfriend, I hope she looked after your childhood bear. I don't mind Caroline giving you my email address if it suits you x

Bearofliddlebrain Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 3:52pm

Aw Jane SG...sending Bear hugs to wrap around you today....and for Angela who has been down in the dumps..we are all stretching Bear paws out to pull you up xxxx

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:13pm

Picture of Jeffrey on the way! He's all of 4 inches tall. x

Jane SG Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 9:26pm

Thank you Bearofliddlebrain! This is really nice. Your kind words help a lot xxx

Jane SG Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 9:28pm

Lex-I love Jeffrey! He is so cute :) Thanks for the pic. You should have seen my daughter's reaction! She gave his picture a hug! Good job she cannot get hold of him, he would disappear into her room along with Geoffrey Sam! X

Lex Tue, Jul 4th 2017 @ 11:38am

I understand the delight... and every time people pick him up, they give a different response (he's a collector's bear filled with lead shot, so he weighs way more than anyone expects!) x

The Gardener Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:07am

Molly I was awake at the time you posted - are you an insomniac, or do e-mails in bed? Thought I'd be first! Had an awful week-end, awful night, Mr G in full moan this a.m. Got up, did shutters, stroked cat, got a cuppa, read blog and looked at weather forecast. Yipee, happeness. Mr G is at respite for four days, and it's going to be warm. My gardens are watered - I can go for impeccability, in easy stages. I can sleep on the terrace without being yelled for every five minutes. I can go from house to house without having to put notices up in case Mr G goes for the neighbours. I lugged water across the road to nurse my plants through the heat wave, and they have repaid me. Visitors are due, I love preparing for them. So thanks Lex, xx

Molly Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 4:53pm

Hi Gardener, yes I am an insomniac ! I refuse to let my iPad into the bedroom. It's a place to sleep (or not sleep as the case may be!) Hope you enjoy your four days of space and peace xx

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:15pm

Lovely to hear some instances of Happeness, Dear Gardener! We are both in love with our bloomers, aren't we? xx

David Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:11am

Hello Lex, a good morning to you and a good blog.

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:16pm

Thank you, David. 'scuse the late reply. Been out most of the day!

Eva Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:15am

Awesome Lex, enjoyed the written word and then again the vlog, I do believe in happeness leading to happiness, I've long thought that happiness isn't a constant but is made up of lots of bits of joy. This was hammered home to me in the months following my dad's death, where in I still had moments of joy with friends in the midst of great sadness and although it's taken a long time for the balance to shift from predominantly deep grief to predominantly acceptance and enjoying my now, knowing that you can still experience moments of joy when in the depths of great sadness was very inspiring for me. I am pretty happy right now with this happenstance. :)

Bearofliddlebrain Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 3:56pm

Eva - I used to feel guilty when I laughed about things and felt moments of happiness after my father died, but then the laughter was usually about things he used to do and it was part of the grieving process to remember the good times, the fun and mischief as well as missing him. I'm glad you're 'pretty happy right now with this happenstance'. Bear hugs and puppy cuddles to you x

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:17pm

Hi Eva and Bearofliddlebrain - I'm loving the magic you're sharing together. I'm seeing these mixed emotions as a constellation. All types of stars (and emotions) are needed to make up the pictures we make in the night skies x

Bearofliddlebrain Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:17am

Hi Lex.....up early most days with new puppy and he gives us joy, happeness and happiness, so although we are as pooped as pooped thIngs, we are living each moment of his new life and watching things happen to him, learning from him and our older dog :)
Using the happeness to feel as alive as puppy does...and rest when he does....and the housework has gone to pot!
TG...make the most of the four 'restpite' days and enjoy your garden and visitors and some rest!
Hi to Eva....x
Bear hugs to all x x x

The Gardener Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 8:48am

Thanks bear - I am 'free' for 7 hours, not quite leaping around like your puppy, but feel like it

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:18pm

I feel a list of 'Happeness' coming on... puppies and poppies! xxx

Eva Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 9:53pm

Hey bear :) I have had the same journey with my kitten in my grief and fatigue, she makes me laugh every day, enjoy!

Orangeblossom Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:26am

Thanks for the very inspiring blog Lex.

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:19pm

You are most welcome, Orangeblossom!

LP Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:49am

Hi Lex,
Thank you for a perfect blog to help me focus on the small things that give us joy :)
Lovin the new word! Good wishes to you and all. LP xx

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:20pm

Thanks, LP... I regularly make up new words - or at least they come out of my mouth, ha ha.... this happened to be one I liked! xx

Jul Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 11:46am

Hello Lex. What you say about happiness is so true and helpful. I think it needs to be told more, to young people especially. I had a happy few hours yesterday evening at the Royal Albert hall listening to Woody Allen and his New Orleans Jazz band. The maestro himself actually talked to the packed audience a few times too. Totally unexpected. He was his usual funny self deprecating self with his NY Jewish wit. It was wonderful and what's more the band brought back memories of my father who introduced me to his love of Sydney Bechet, Oscar Peterson etc. , traditional jazz in its purest form. You've hit exactly the right note Lex. Jules

Jul Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 11:46am

xxx

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:22pm

Thank you, Jules, for sharing... the magic of music to orchestrate the sweetest of memories xxx

Angela Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 1:21pm

A new word - Woo~hoo! Thank you, this blog has helped me today. Been in a black hole for several days but thank goodness climbing out into the sunlight again! :)

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:22pm

One happeness at a time, Angela!

Jane SG Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 9:40pm

I hope the sun keeps shining for you Angela x

Tom Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 2:54pm

Pure Buddhism, pure common sense. A word a friend said recently Kindfulness. Thank you, be well.

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 6:23pm

Rose Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 7:28pm

Lex Mon, Jul 3rd 2017 @ 8:58pm

Always a pleasure, Rose, to share the thoughts I treasure - with the people I share so much in common with!

Melanie Tue, Jul 4th 2017 @ 9:19am

Loved this. Thank you Lex.

Lex Tue, Jul 4th 2017 @ 11:39am

You're so welcome, Melanie.

S Wed, Jul 5th 2017 @ 8:08am

What Melanie said!! Thank you!

Nicco Fri, Jul 7th 2017 @ 2:04am

Thank you for such a wonderful blog, Lex - was nice to see the video too. It has certainly helped me understand 'mindfulness' (being in the moment) better. I also watched a few of your other videos & found the one about faith, hope & love particularly helpful with where I am atm, so many thanks for that, too. (Oh, and, although I'm a writer, I don't think I'd be able to write a book in 10mins but thanks for the explanation in that video too!)

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