Archive for the Nicky Hilton Category

In trying to stay in touch with my one reader, I figure I’d post these shitty see through pictures, in a take what I can get kinda way. You know, because it is the story of our lives, never really having much choice in the tits we get to see, and really just taking what we can fuckin’ get. So here is some Gisele and Nicky Hilton from last week mainly because I had the pictures uploaded, but also because at least one person out there wants to fuck these bitches because they are better lookin’ than their disgusting wife, who won’t stop trying to kiss my neck today, I think it is because I haven’t showered and smell like last night’s dinner and she’s hungry (all the time).

I have no fucking shame, nothing embarrasses me anymore and I think drinking has something to do with that. When I first started up this whole alcohol abuse thing when I was a teenager, I’d feel like an asshole when I did stupid things like tried to get my friend’s girlfriend’s naked, or touching girls inappropriately, or getting in fights, I’d wake up a self hater who didn’t want to show his fucking face. Then as time went on, I got into bigger messes, made a bigger fool of myself everytime I drank than I did the time before and I’d be tearing people apart, puking, pissing, shitting fucking anything and everything you’d think you’d wake up regretting, and instead I just embraced it. There were times I couldn’t get it up for girls I was about to fuck, or times I came too fast. There were times I probably took advantage of situations and did real evil things and I just figured it was all part of life, you know normal fuck ups.

That said, over all these years there are still two things that humiliate me. The first is walking out of a public bathroom that smells like shit after taking a piss, knowing the next person in line will assume I stank it up because I am fat, so whenever that happens I catch myself justifying myself to a guy I don’t know about how I didn’t take a fucking shit despite what it may look like. The other thing is buying toilet paper. I always feel like the clerk thinks I am groundhogging/ you know ready to fucking dump as I rush to pay her for the shit and for some reason, I feel like a caged animal being watched when I just want privacy.

I have suggested to people I know to invent toilet paper vending machines, I have resorted to stealing toilet paper from public bathrooms even when I have the 3 dollars to buy a pack, I have used old socks, magazines and newspaper on my ass to avoid this shopping experience as best as I fucking can and I find it way more destructive to my self than pulling out my mini dick to fuck a chick only to have her laugh at me….

By the looks of it, Nicky Hilton and her drippy asshole don’t have the same issue as me. Instead of getting her maid to do her dirty work, she proudly parades to the world that she shits, and that she most likely has to shit as she rushes to her car to get home before it end up on her car seat and the whole thing is disgusting to me, but not as disgusting as the possibility that she’s picking this shit up for her sister’s drippy pussy.

Sometimes when role playing with my wife, I like to pretend I am Nicky Hilton and she pretends to be the badly dressed asshole no one cares about that she’s dating at the time because my wife is about as worthless as him, except for the fact that she pays my rent and I am about as boring and sloppy lookin’ as Nicky Hilton. So I ask my wife where she got her stupid board shorts and she asks me why I am not as relevant as my sister and asks if I want to make a sex tape and I blow it off by telling her she’s no Rick Solomon down there and I dont want to admit I let such a small dick inside my barely there ass, and I then I tell her that I have to go shopping and I’ll be taken my Benz and storm off only to jump into my stepdaughter’s boyfriend’s 87 Hyundai and my wife goes to the bedroom to masturbate because she finds playing useless rich kids who have done pretty much nothing with their lives so fuckin’ hot she can’t contain her over-sized labia.

I know that I linked these pictures last night, but since no one clicks on my links, I figured I’d throw them up here because they confuse me. Nicky Hilton’s legs look like they are from Ethiopia and haven’t eaten much more than a couple of malaria ridden flies in the last 6 months or like the have full blown Aids from a blood transfusion they got 15 years ago because they are hemophiliacs or maybe even from an unfortunate one night bareback session with some dude they met at a bath house….but the rest of her looks thick and sloppy.

I am all for eating disorders, because I like my women skinny but I prefer them when they have an entire body affect and don’t just target one body part because it makes bitch look like some kind of cartoon and the last time I fucked a cartoon I thought my dick turned into a multicolor mess with googly eyes, but it turned out it was just the liquid acid someone slipped in my drink and I was actually just fucking a shoe I found on the side of the road. It was pretty embarrassing.

Here are some pictures of Paris, Nicole and Paris’ sister no one cares about out for lunch together like this was 4 years ago. There was a time when these girls felt like they were on top of the world. They had their TV show and everyone was making a big deal about them. Now one of them is pregnant and the other is serial slut who no one will ever love because they just turn to her for bad sex and money and no one really gives a fuck about them, they’re washed up has beens, but the problem is that they haven’t been replaced and I’m excited for when they are because I need some new blood because it’s come to a point where thinking about either of them sexually is like thinking of your grandmother taking it up the ass, which is a good time, but still smells like shit….and not just any shit…old person shit.

It’s funny what a couple of years does to a person, it’s like riding high one day and in the gutter the next, that’s why I like to stay in the gutter because I don’t think I could handle that kind of disappointment. I guess what it comes down to is that everything always comes around full-circle and nothing in life is permanent, except maybe for AIDS.

I know whenever I see girls from my past I try to get them to show me their vaginas because it’s unnatural for a girl I’ve seen naked to be in my presence and not willing to get naked. If they don’t feel comfortable doing it, then I just keep on walkin’ like they are dead to me. The last time it happened, I ran into a girl i banged years ago on the street with her husband and kids and I said hi, moved in and said, so you gonna show me your pussy or what, I wanna see how it’s aged and she grabbed her kid and stormed off.

Either way, there was a time when these girls loved each other, then hated each other and now they are having lunch together while Stavros is out fuckin Mary Kate Olsen. I guess the rich kid drama will always go on and I feel like I’m watching a Cheers reunion special and Nicole Richie’s playing Norm. I wonder if Cheers jokes work, but I haven’t watched TV since their last episode, so it’s the only reunion special joke I’m packin’ and you’ve probably never seen an episode. I guess I really fucked this one up. It happens pretty much every post.

I was at some Halloween jam last night. I don’t really remember much about it because that’s what happens when I drink. I think it has something to do with the older I get the stupider I get or some shit, but that’s probably a good thing. I was actually pretty disappointed in the costumes, there weren’t as many vagina slips on my face as I expected, but I did get stuck talking to some dude about junk food for half the night and couldn’t escape. He was going on and on about how he distributes junk food and he was a nice guy. I had to tell him that I had to go look for pussy and as much as I look like a fat guy who loves junk food, I am really a fat guy who likes creeping hot sluts in costumes out.

It’s nice to see that the creative process that Paris and Nicky went through in coming up with these costumes was a matter of walking into a sex shop and choosing whichever costume spoke to them. I am a lot more into whores who can at least come up with something inspired with the whore clothes they have lying around and it’s safe to say that Paris would have been a lot more ironic if she went out as a herpes scab, but I guess she realizes that I am the only person who finds herps scabs hot.

I find it weird that Nicky Hilton is from the same family as Paris. I am thinking that one of them is adopted or a product of the slutty mom slutting out with the pool boy or some shit and the dad didn’t want to draw negative attention to the family so he just took her on as his own because she wasn’t as fucking embarrassing as Paris was. You would think that since they are from the same vagina and the same home and had the same nannies raise them that they would both be public attention craving whores, but I’ve never seen Nicky Hilton fuck on camera and I feel like I should have by now and that makes me feel left out. Maybe it all stems from the fact that the parents gave her a normal name and didn’t name her after the dad’s favorite stripper….because anyone I’ve ever met named Paris has let me touch her tits for 10 dollars a song or less.

Either way, the one thing they do seem to have in common is a fucking ego as Nicky rocks a belt with the letter H on it for Hilton. That’s almost the same thing as me getting a tattoo that says “DrunkenStepfather.com” on it, only way different because my site isn’t as luxurious as a moderately priced hotel chain.

Either way, here are some pics of Nicky as slutty as she gets, showin a little bra strap in shorts…

I went to a bar the other night because I like getting drunk. I sat in the corner and drank my face off because the drinks were cheap and that’s what I do. ON the dancefloor there was a bitch who was doing the Paris Hilton. Now I don’t know if you guys know what the Paris Hilton is, but it’s a distinct fucking Bow-Legged stance dance that younger girls picked up by watching The Simple Life or visiting Perez Hilton. Anyway, this hot model lookin’ bitch is doing the Paris Hilton and to her right was this scraggly bitch with extensions falling out of her hair, a leopard print bra was hangin out of her shirt and short shorts jacked up her ass. So you have this tall thin hot model doing the Paris Hilton and her little ratty friend trying to get attention to make-up for her obvious shortcomings by rubbing her cunt up against the speaker and there I am thinking that I just experienced the very local Simple Life with girls I’d rather fuck. Reality is that the model will probably develop a drug addiction and her only gigs will be at the local supermarket handing out tampon samples and the rat will end up knocked up with some black baby who she doesn’t know who the father is, but these bitches will still be less useless to the world than the real Simple Lie. I would have bought them a drink to celebrate but figured why bother, I’d rather use my limited budget on myself, drink special or not and they don’t need drinks they were already jacked on Meth….

Here are some pictures of Paris and her useless sister dancing up at some club in some place recently….

There are reasons I would love to go to the gym to work out and those reasons are pretty fucking simple. Girls get dressed in spandex because I assume it makes them run faster on the treadmill while all the fucking meathead dudes lift weights behind them. I knew a guy who would get on a machine that was in front of the mat’s where the chicks would do their ass exercises or squats or some shit and dude would just park himself on that thing all day. He’d always brag to us how amazing a healthy life was because of the amount of hot ass he saw, but none of us ever listened. I just put on my shorts because summer is here, and they don’t fucking fit me anymore, like I grew out of them our some shit and they have an elastic waistband, making me have dreams that I actually cared enough to do something about it at a gym where hot bitches squat of me all day. Maybe it will happen one day….

That day seems to already have come for Nicky Hilton, I guess in preperation of her sister being in jail, Nicky’s decided to take her place as the party slut in the public eye, like the runner up at a beauty contest, only this beauty contest isn’t for pretty people, it’s for Hiltons….or maybe now that Paris is too pre-occupied going to jail, she hasn’t been able to distract Nicky from getting to the gym and being the hotter sister, like she has the last 8 years by convincing her to eat donuts instead of doing crunches…That’s just Paris’ way…

There are reasons I would love to go to the gym to work out and those reasons are pretty fucking simple. Girls get dressed in spandex because I assume it makes them run faster on the treadmill while all the fucking meathead dudes lift weights behind them. I knew a guy who would get on a machine that was in front of the mat’s where the chicks would do their ass exercises or squats or some shit and dude would just park himself on that thing all day. He’d always brag to us how amazing a healthy life was because of the amount of hot ass he saw, but none of us ever listened. I just put on my shorts because summer is here, and they don’t fucking fit me anymore, like I grew out of them our some shit and they have an elastic waistband, making me have dreams that I actually cared enough to do something about it at a gym where hot bitches squat of me all day. Maybe it will happen one day….

That day seems to already have come for Nicky Hilton, I guess in preperation of her sister being in jail, Nicky’s decided to take her place as the party slut in the public eye, like the runner up at a beauty contest, only this beauty contest isn’t for pretty people, it’s for Hiltons….or maybe now that Paris is too pre-occupied going to jail, she hasn’t been able to distract Nicky from getting to the gym and being the hotter sister, like she has the last 8 years by convincing her to eat donuts instead of doing crunches…That’s just Paris’ way…

I don’t really know if that is technically a true statement, but because of Paris Hilton’s herpes, I am going to say that it is. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you put a pile of shit next to a pile of shit and are asked to choose the prettier pile of shit, you’re going to go with the one that doesn’t have any blood in it. Nicky Hilton is the wholesome sister who probably has a seedy past, because that’s just the way sister’s are but she didn’t do it on camera for all of us to witness, so I am going to have to say that she’s the pile of shit without the blood….

I don’t really know if that is technically a true statement, but because of Paris Hilton’s herpes, I am going to say that it is. I guess what I am trying to say is that if you put a pile of shit next to a pile of shit and are asked to choose the prettier pile of shit, you’re going to go with the one that doesn’t have any blood in it. Nicky Hilton is the wholesome sister who probably has a seedy past, because that’s just the way sister’s are but she didn’t do it on camera for all of us to witness, so I am going to have to say that she’s the pile of shit without the blood….

The beauty of siblings is that they come from the same bloodline. Nicky Hilton may have been keeping low key over the years, while Paris worked her way in and out and in and out of ever coke party, penis and club in L.A. but that doesn’t mean that Nicky doesn’t have it in her to show the world her junk.

I used to have a fantasy of having 2 sisters at the same time, it was a pretty fucking common fantasy at the time and slutty fake titty blond twins everywhere started getting naked together, not that I ever got to capitalize on it, other than jerkin’ off a few times to it.

Either way, I always thought that banging your twin was okay because it was more like masturbation and not so much like incest. The problem is the only twins you can land a 3 some with are usually addicted to crack or have some other fucked up issues that makes trying to fuck them way too annoying….

Siblings fucking reminds me of my Iranian friend who just turned 60. He went back to Iran to visit his family and ended up marrying his 30 year old cousin. When he got back here here told me how he wanted to have 12 kids with her. I guess dudes who marry their cousin’s don’t realize that having babies with them means breeding retards…

I know that breeding retards comes from incest because this chick Jenny in my high school lost her virginity to her brother, they would fuck all the fucking time and no one really knew about it. She eventually got knocked up, because that’s what happens when people fuck their brothers everynight for a year when they are 15 and had the baby. She never admitted to her parents who the daddy was but when it came out with one eye and 4 legs, they knew….

The only exciting thing about a sister who fucks her brother is that it usually means she’s desperate enough to fuck you, at least that’s the story I heard…..

The beauty of siblings is that they come from the same bloodline. Nicky Hilton may have been keeping low key over the years, while Paris worked her way in and out and in and out of ever coke party, penis and club in L.A. but that doesn’t mean that Nicky doesn’t have it in her to show the world her junk.

I used to have a fantasy of having 2 sisters at the same time, it was a pretty fucking common fantasy at the time and slutty fake titty blond twins everywhere started getting naked together, not that I ever got to capitalize on it, other than jerkin’ off a few times to it.

Either way, I always thought that banging your twin was okay because it was more like masturbation and not so much like incest. The problem is the only twins you can land a 3 some with are usually addicted to crack or have some other fucked up issues that makes trying to fuck them way too annoying….

Siblings fucking reminds me of my Iranian friend who just turned 60. He went back to Iran to visit his family and ended up marrying his 30 year old cousin. When he got back here here told me how he wanted to have 12 kids with her. I guess dudes who marry their cousin’s don’t realize that having babies with them means breeding retards…

I know that breeding retards comes from incest because this chick Jenny in my high school lost her virginity to her brother, they would fuck all the fucking time and no one really knew about it. She eventually got knocked up, because that’s what happens when people fuck their brothers everynight for a year when they are 15 and had the baby. She never admitted to her parents who the daddy was but when it came out with one eye and 4 legs, they knew….

The only exciting thing about a sister who fucks her brother is that it usually means she’s desperate enough to fuck you, at least that’s the story I heard…..