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Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Time have passed and I haven’t written or logged my thoughts
about a lot of events that have occurred in this life I have been blessed to
live, but a lost occurred yesterday and I needed to share.

As I was driving to my destination, I received a call from
my better half. This isn't too unusual as she is always ensuring that I am safe
and checking in to make sure that I haven’t fell in the lake while fishing or
got lost on the way to work. I’ll gotten accustom to her doing this and when
she don’t, I begin to wonder what is wrong, if she is o.k., or I know she is upset
with me. Either way, I took the call as normal

“Hello.” I answered.

“How are you doing? She asked.

“Fine, just bored the trip is
longer than I expected.” I explained.

“Sometimes they are that way.” She continued on. “I need to tell you
something. Before you hear about it or read it on Facebook, but Thomas died
this morning.”

I got silent as I little a part of me begin to retreat deep within
and prepare how I would handle this news.
I have suffered losses before and with each delivery, I go through this
preparation. The onslaught of emotions
that I truly dislike, sadness, guilt, regret, and anger and how I will deal
with them. These emotions place me in a world where control is loosely held and
I must control my emotions, otherwise, I can make very bad heartbreaking
decisions. So I breathe, pause to allow
processing, and then respond.

“Oh, Wow. That I knew he was ill
and just spoke to Lucas and Robert (other brothers of mine) about his condition.
I planned to see him this afternoon or Monday as I found out he was in the
hospital. But I had no idea he was that
ill.”

I thanked her for the
information, continue the conversation about other subject matter and then
ended the conversation. As I continue on, this news of his death, this loss of
life coupled with plenty of time to reminisce provided the ample opportunity
for my brain to wonder and my emotions to run amuck. I begin to think about times and conversation
I had with Thomas, his unique, but straight forward sense of humor and
communicating. I first met him as a
young man when I dated his step daughter.
I was scared, but not terrified of dealing with him he was polite, but
stern about the treatment of her. My relationship with his step daughter like his relationship with her mother
ended. I felt this gave us something in
common to talk about and it did, like the women who left many marks in our lives. Good, we were through with them, but sad because
any loss is a bad one. Glad that they
provided us with other tools to address other females, but mad because we didn't
get to really close the deal like we should have. These type of conversations occurred over the years as
well as talks about other things. like similar jobs, we both worked at the local Wal-Mart as well
as the social service field. He made his
share of enemies and I have been informed that there are people who don’t like
me as well.

This was also a topic of conversation between Thomas and me.
He, being much older than I,
retired. This, I would have assume to be
a big event for him and those who knew him, but I was surprised at the
reluctance of people to celebrate the success of a fellow or ex-coworker. They refused or stated they were too busy to
attend or even send anything. He took
this in stride and moved on. He always
told me that “You can’t give a damn about what others feel about your success.
As long as you know that you have done your best then to Hell with them. Move forward
and continue to do what is right.”

After his retirement, Thomas became my brother when I joined
The Men On The Move Civic group. This
was an achievement for me and I was glad to fellowship with him. I am glad that I was given this opportunity.
I truly hate that he was taken so soon and wished that there were more time to
say:

Thank you for the encouragement to continue on my dreams, Thanks for the
support in dealing with heartache and confusion. Thanks for the laughs and the
views of women that I wouldn't have known. Thanks for the connections at my job
and with yours. Thanks for the wisdom that was freely given, but most all
Thanks for being there for us all. Rest in Peace Thomas Harper. And although,
you are not here in flesh, you will always be here in spirit.

A.C.S.A. Headline Animator

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Mentor James

Hello Wellcome to the site. A Common Sense Approach is a simple, informative discussion about the daily activities regarding parenting, relationships, and life. It is a easier way to view the world and those who live around us. Cause the best lessons in life are taught in simplicity.