Should You Date a Guy With Kids?

He comes with strings attached — the little kid with juice boxes and Elmo. Are his niños a deal breaker? Read on and decide.

May 8, 2014

Yes. By Priscilla Morales, mom to two awesome kids, stepmom to a rockstar stepdaughter.

Cheerios scattered on the car ﬂoor. Toys in the bathtub and — on occasion — in the toilet. Early dinner to accommodate the babysitter's schedule. Totally romantic, right? Well, it can be. For the single woman, single padres should not be eliminated from the dating pool. Let me be clear: I'm talking about responsible single dads — those who pay child support, invest time in their children and, you know, do what fathers are supposed to do.

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These guys prioritize around their kids, so they have zero tolerance or time for silly dating games. They are more willing to cut through the nonsense and commit to someone they feel is genuine, trustworthy, and a rockstar. Meaning YOU, chica!

If a responsible father wants you in his life, you'll always know where you stand: No more waiting for that text to ﬁnd out if you're still on for Saturday night, and a real papi is not going to introduce any ol' person into his child's life. He is looking for a responsible partner too.

But that's not all. Getting to know his children can be amazing. Kicking around a soccer ball, watching the newest My Little Pony, and bonding over a shared guilty pleasure like One Direction can be just as fun as any Saturday date night. The little ones can even teach you a thing or two about yourself and mami-hood. Spending time with my future stepdaughter taught me that I can be patient and ﬂexible, two traits I never thought I had! It also made me realize that I wanted to have children of my own one day, and I knew upfront that my partner would be a great dad.

Being a mother is hard enough. Imagine how difficult it is to be a stepmother — you have to look after his kids, cooperate with their mom and share your man. That's what's in store for you when you date a guy with kids. He's not just looking for a girlfriend, he's looking for a mamá.

But I'd be a great mother, you say. Yes, you will. Pero there's more to motherhood when mothering HIS kids: You must win them over; your own kids love you from the start. Then there are the comparisons to their mother. When I dated a man with kids, I heard, "My mom doesn't do my braid like that" and, "Don't tell me what to do!" In their eyes you just aren't mami.

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Still willing to go at this relationship like a champ? Be ready to share him. Saturday nights are for couples unless your man has his son every other weekend. When your boo has children there are schedules, babysitters, school emergencies, and worst of all ... baby mama drama.

I've dated a man with kids twice and each time the ex stirred the relationship pot. Whether she is not ready to let go or doesn't want to see him happy with a new mujer, the mother of his kids can make your relationship miserable. That's why I won't do it again, and I suggest you don't either. The guy could be a papi chulo, but as soon as he tells me about little Joselito I'm out the door.