Jeanette, a two bob five minute wonder, gets 18-21 years worth of monthly payments, for a child Rod is never allowed to see. Just pay for. His own fault, he had no business, as a married man with kids, putting his unprotected penis inside a rabid looney, who'd already told him she was desperate.

My "pay off" for 10 years of being the understanding and supportive one, the one that allowed him to be his self, and I could go on and on here, but won't..............is an ancient Mondeo, value approx £100.

And hours and hours of more crying.

Frankly, I wish I could simply drop off the planet. Just fly and be free of my mortal chains.

I am dreaming of the sea, the wind in my hair and the sun on my back. Being an ageing hippie, free and easy. No worries. No stress. No wondering daily what lying and cheating is going on, or how I'm being manipulated and used.