#anustart

I've recently ended a 3 plus year relationship. It was easy to pinpoint the reasons why, hard to figure out why it ended so abruptly ended. A Friday conversation, asking why we suddenly were different to each other. Calling a bluff. Then living in the guest room. Hotel next.

New apartment, new furnishings, new life.

The break up isn't really what I want to talk about. The emotions there are roller coaster off the tracks. Good days, bad days, really bad days, less really bad days.

Very, very good days.

I want to talk about starting over. And not with material belongs. I'm filling up an apartment with new furniture, that's just the math of a break up. I want to talk about the emotional starting over.

A new relationship.

Gross, starting all over again.

The best analogy I can voice is that of an 100,000 word essay. One you've been writing for over 3 years. You've done hundred of hours of research. You've nailed the introductions. Put your heart into the thesis statement. Hours and hours of proofing. Nailed the supporting specific points and developed a full body paragraph all about your life.

And right in the middle of it, the power shuts off, document lost.

You realized you never saved it. You didn't need to. I mean, what were the odds of this just vanishing without a trace? This was going to be on your screen forever.

And now it's lost.

So you lean back in your chair and wonder if you have the energy, and the heart, to start all over. Do you have the emotional bandwidth to do all this again? From the first word on. All those hours spent typing away.

Or do you take an Incomplete and fail the course.

So there's the question I just have yet to find the answer for. And I'm guessing there isn't a course that's going to help me with the answer either.

Stupid heart.

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Each year I get in front of the camera for a client as I interview Boise State Football players. The videos air at home games on the Jum...

My Giant Head Getting More Giant

Each year I get in front of the camera for a client as I interview Boise State Football players. The videos air at home games on the Jumbotron. Making my giant head, morerer gianterer. Each year the players are great, a lot of fun and really help make it entertaining. Here's the first video of the season.

Sadly, the next day... the mustache was gone.

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About a decade ago I had a dream about a Tattoo. It was the skeleton of my own arm attached to a quill pen. It was writing the word SENESTRE...

Getting My First Tattoo

About a decade ago I had a dream about a Tattoo. It was the skeleton of my own arm attached to a quill pen. It was writing the word SENESTRE. I drew it that day and set it on a shelf. 10 years later I still wanted it, and finally got it.

Skeleton and Quill Tattoo

Side note. Though I left off the word, Senestre ended up being the name of my production company.

A Crater, A Giant Tree, A Few Double Doubles, and an Engagement

My girlfriend and I needed a quick vacation. Not an extended weekend but a whole week away from the house and exploring new things. We opened up Google Maps and pointed out every place within 1500 miles that we've wanted to see. Turns out she's never seen the Grand Canyon, neither of us had to seen the Natural Bridges in Utah. It had been 5 years since I rode the Pirates of the Caribbean and I've never seen Crater Lake.

There was a blip on the map where neither of us had ever been and that was the Meteor Crater in Arizona. It wasn't on the way to anything, it was going to add a day to our trip, but it was a giant hole in the ground caused by a giant piece of space metal. I found out this was on Emilee's bucket list. We're there.

Day one: Natural Bridges Park. We decided to spend 4 nights camping, 3 nights in hotels and two nights with friends. Thursday night was a camp night. We headed straight to Natural Bridges Park in Southeastern Utah. I knew very little about it. It was always high on the list for places for Emilee to visit. About 50 miles before hitting the parking we decided it was late and dark enough to find a campground and enter the gate in the morning. We blindly found a campsite and went to sleep. We had no idea of the beauty surrounding us when we'd wake

So that was nifty. We were all alone out in the vast red rocks. The first full day of our trip was off to a great start. I threw on a hat and drove us to the park. It was small, out of the way, and very hidden. There was only one other couple with us in the visitor center as they told us it was the busy season. We rented one of the 9 available camping spots, bought a few trinkets and headed down the road.

We made the 9 mile looping drive and couldn't wait to journey down towards the bridges. Three of them to be precise. Named "Kachina," "Owachomo" and "Sipapu" in honor of the Native Americans

that once made this area their home. And by that I mean until we, stupid white people, kicked them off and probably murdered a majority of them.

It's a 9 mile hike to hit each bridge. Very, VERY worth it. And we were VERY, VERY not geared up to do it. I was wearing Vans, Emilee had her purse and a Starbucks cups and we ventured on.

Kachina

Owachomo

Sipapu

Native American ruins and standing this close to where the dinosaurs roamed was pretty fricken amazeballs.

After we headed back to camp and prepared to gaze at the stars. Natural Bridges Monument is a Dark Skies park. Because there are no cities nearby you can see stars like crazy. We light a fire and barely looked down. It was an amazing night.

Day 3: Arizona Crater.

Today was a special day. I only knew why. But I didn't know what was completely ahead of us. We woke up early, packed up camp and headed to Arizona to find the big-ass crater in the middle of it. The route was gorgeous.

Emilee looks again and said "Forrest Gump!", so we pulled over and did this.

And saw this.

Then had a giant piece of metal came crashing to my car from oncoming traffic, that kinda almost killed me.

We pulled the gentlemen over and after 90 minutes of calling insurance and talking to a police officer, Emilee pointed out that we might not make the crater. This wasn't an option. I mean, this was where I was going to propose. (Oh yeah, did I mention that?) I had the fake brochure made, ring was in my pocket, speech was ready. It was all set the crater. So I kicked it in to high gear...

but stopped for a minute to check out dinosaur tracks...

and made it in time to propose. She said yes.

Day 4: Now off to the Grand Canyon.

I will tell you, if you ever get a chance to visit the Grand Canyon during a sunrise it would easily change you life a little. Do it.

We spend a good part of the day walking the edge, learning about the area and figuring out which Dinosaur age we'd like to live in the most.

Now off to LA.

Day 5: This was my homeland and it was hard to figure out all we'd see and who we'd visit.

Clearly Disney land was on the table,

so Emilee could ride Space Mountain over and over.

And the beach.

And my super great friends and only family member I like. Then off to San Francisco.

Day 8: SF decided we had seen too much sun and decided to pour.

But we got to see MORE AWESOME FRIENDS!

Day 9: After a few days of fun in the bay we decided we'd play in the giant trees.

I really love giant trees.

I also love driving through them.

Last Day: We decided to spend the night just across the Oregon border and head to Crater Lake for our last stop in the morning. Emilee has always wanted to see it and so far Craters had been very, VERY good to us. We woke up to snow. 60 miles from the lake we journeyed on. The snow got deeper but we got more determined. Finally we reached the stop.

And, we missed it.

So we headed East towards home. We were happy, tired, wide-eyed and not sure if missing our bed was enough for us to end our adventure. But, worked called.

2500 miles later I was engaged to my dream girl, a little fatter, a lot happier and the proud owner of a tiny sequoia. I went to places that I thought I'd see once and be happy but we learned they are places we're going to visit over and over.

For the rest of our stupid, happy lives.

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People steal on the internet. I'm sorry, lemme change that. Complete assholes steal from the internet. Recently I had a few of my...

A-holes named Kevin Plencner and Nicholas Green stole from me, and many others

Recently I had a few of my Burning Man photos used for various other things. A record cover, a mock ad, a few Instagram pics claiming they were in the pics, and a shitty trash-rag called the Downtown Underground out of Las Vegas.

I reached out to the editor who claimed the author of the story submitted my photo with her work. So I quickly reached out to the author who let me know that was impossible since they never used her article. They told her "Thanks but not thanks". I linked her to the piece and to her shock, they used it after all. It was a clear attempt to not have to pay her knowing no one would ever read their crappy magazine. They stole from her too.

I went back to the editor who told me he was shocked and would research it. I then learned their graphic artist was never paid as well. It seems everyone they came in contact with, was stiffed.

Dicks.

After I threatened legal action the asshole editor Kevin Plencner assured me he'd send me a check right away. Days went by and my initial thought that this was a lie, was true.

I called a phone number that was listed on their Facebook page. A woman answered and went on to tell me how she used to work for them but since they stopped paying her... yeah... you get the point.

People like this are the worst. Parasites who steal your creativity can die in a fire. Kevin Plencner is a failed real estate agent who after many lawsuit, and running away from Illinois to Vegas, is attempting to start another unneeded rag in Las Vegas. He's going to do it on the shoulders of people like me, never pay them a penny, and leave a wake of trash and lawsuits.

Don't be Kevin Plencner.

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I spent my teens in a small town in California. It was a bit of an adjustment after my younger years in the outskirts of Los Angeles. Are...

What Do You Do When You Realize Your Childhood Friends Are Racist, Hateful Idiots

I spent my teens in a small town in California. It was a bit of an adjustment after my younger years in the outskirts of Los Angeles. Area was smaller, buildings were smaller, dreams were smaller. It was never a fit but I always did my best.

I made good friends and cherished them for years. We had so many experiences to hold on to that we felt like our friendships would never end. For years they didn't.

We skated through our 20's hitting up each other's weddings, follow up holiday visits, weekend getaways. We'd meet up and speak entirely in memories.

We jogged through our 30's. Second weddings and scattered reunions. We'd still talk in memories mixed in with how hard it was to be a parent (we thought toddlers were as hard as it would get). We asked each other about that one friend who faded away. Wondered if anyone has managed to keep in touch with them. Eventually no one would and *POOF* they were gone.

We staggered our way in to our 40's learning that vacations were now kid based and reunions were best kept via Facebook. It was also easier. I could see their entirely family grow from the comfort of my laptop in a Starbucks.

But suddenly I saw other things too. Weird things that seemed so foreign to me. I witnessed them spending anniversaries at Red Lobster. I watched them express their excitement about TV night with Big Bang Theory. I read how they believed President Obama was a Muslim and how they knew he was sending America towards the end of the world.

And to suddenly discovered... you have absolutely nothing in common with these barbarians.

Never more than now have I ended so many friendships as I have in the last year. #ThanksObama. My best friends from high school, who I laughed and cried with for so many years, were... Republicans.

And by Republicans, I mean the hateful ones. The ones who masturbated to Fox News and formed their uneducated opinions from inaccurate Memes. The ones who'd kill the person who came for their guns and would personally offer bricks from their homes to help build a wall. Full on horrific people. The people I've been fighting against my whole life. I just never realized it was them. I was blinded by friendship.

This has been the year of fighting them. This week one of my best friends from high school, I mean... BEST FRIENDS... ridiculed me for participating in the #WomansMarch. He said that if I spent that time building a house for the homeless I'd be doing more good. I reminded him that he did neither and just harassed those who tried. His response was to unfriend me on Facebook. 30some years of friendship gone, because we realized at that moment we no longer had anything in common.

I'll remind you that I went to school in California before I try to explain that a classmate with a confederate flag for his profile picture trolled every status I wrote for a week reminding me what a horrible person I was for supporting Hillary. I could write about my Dog and he'd tell me Hillary was the devil. I wished him a happy birthday and he told me how great Trump was. I had to block him on all social media as if we were 13 year old girls due to his inability to have any interaction without reminding me how much he valued a man who had no values.

Yesterday a guy who graduated a few years after I had posted a fake news article detailing how Muslims were beheading thousands all over the globe. I commented how the article was fake and he was doing more damage than good spreading unwarranted fear. But, he didn't care. He was more concerned that it COULD happen and was angry I was calling him out. This was followed by a barrage of his right-wing friends attacking me for being a bleeding-heart liberal (I proudly am) and used insults on me until they felt they won the debate. You can't argue with hate.

A girl who found God sometime after graduation spent all Facebook posts on her love for Jesus and Starbucks. The glory of this and the yummy of that. Jesus loves everyone, except for the Muslim that Obama nominated to be a Federal Judge. Suddenly our courts were going to be covered with tainted blood and our society was ending. When I asked her why this was such a bad thing I was reminded that Jesus would not do this. Apparently I knew more about Jesus than she did.

Earlier this week a school mate, who I once admired, offered to fist fight me because I said we should stand up against Trump as long as we could. For this he wanted to hit me. I asked him why and he responded he was 100% happy with Trump. He couldn't give specifics other than he was going to support his candidate no matter what happens."I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters." - Trump.
Those voters, it turns out, are the people I grew up with. The last year, an election year, has caused me to end over 20 friendships via social media. Alumni trolls who pop on to talk fake facts and harass me for having alternate opinions. Getting upset when I correct their logic and debating in pure memes. If I didn't drink from the same Koolaid from them, I was a terrorist and I hated American.

I love America so it's that reason why my heart hurts so much.

My childhood friends are almost all gone. I kept some, the good ones. They are just as passionate as I am about our future. They are educated and caring... and scared. So very scared.

I hold on to these people tightly. Tighter than I ever have before. Because through each other we can get through this. Together we can protect ourselves from the hate-filled people we once called our friends in a country we used to call home.