One year I was late looking for calendars and the only ones left in the store were Jonas Brothers.

How sad that must have been for the Jonas Brothers!

Those fifteen minutes go by fast.

Some of the best white elephant gifts I have seen are silly holiday decorations, especially those with animation. At a work party Yankee Swap one year, the gift everyone wanted was a singing "sultry snowlady." I also seem to recall one of those mounted fake wall fish that sang some holiday song, and that was hilarious, too.

The local dollar store sells pairs of "fuzzy socks" for $1. Except they are striped and in neon colors like yellow and green, pink and green, etc. Nobody in their right mind would want to wear them because they're scratchy due to the little strip of "silver" on the ends of the fringed yarn. They're also a bit too small for most adults, and a bit too large for most kids. Perfect useless present.

Chinese finger traps. A bag of paper shreds (you know, the paper stuff people put in packages as "dressing"? Just a bag of that, and nothing else)You mentioned a pet rock. Just go out, pick up a rock, paint a face on it, and "sell" it as a solar-powered, off-the-grid, ultra-green pet that never needs feeding, watering, walking, etc. (Although for a giggle, I've seen one packaged with a tiny folded-newspaper 'litter box' and care instructions)I've seen "Fake chest hair" small containers of pet treats, especially if you know nobody owns a cat/dog (or fish food)I've seen plastic gloves that were blown up, and then drawn on to create smiley faces, turkeys, reindeer, etc. A small sheet of bubble wrapfly swatterToilet paper cozy (you know, the things you put over rolls of TP to "hide" them. My grandmother made truly hideous ones in the 70s.)corn removal padsSnowman poop (bag of marshmallows)

Why do I love this suggestion?

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I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished. Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

I keep trying to suggest to my sister that she needs to put together a luau in a box for her next office white elephant......A bottle of pina colada mix (not including the alcohol) coconut bra, grass skirt, lei, a dashboard hula girl, inflatable flamingo or palm tree, etc.