Oh, the list of thoughts that try to prevent us from taking the risk of loving wholeheartedly is quite long, but there are a few that always top the list, buzzing and darting in and around your ears like mosquitos in summer. I recently wrote about the “I wish he was taller” thought, and I’ve written extensively about the “I’m not attracted” thought. This week’s thought that topped the charts of my sessions was “I wish he was funnier.”

Here’s an excerpt from a client (published with permission):

“Over the past few weeks, I feel that I’ve been picking C apart in my head, specifically when we are with groups of close friends and family. I’ve recently been attaching this anxiety to his sense of humor, and how he may not be as funny as I wish he were. Sometimes he doesn’t laugh at my family’s jokes and vice versa … Click here to continue reading...

It never fails: I log on to Facebook to make sure that my weekly blog posted, quickly scroll down the first page, and a subtle yet pervasive feeling of emptiness washes over me. It’s the feeling that punctuated my middle and high school days as I fell prey to the pernicious belief that others who had more money and more stylish clothes were cooler than I was. I’ve long since left those days and beliefs behind, but something about the Facebook culture is oddly reminiscent of that adolescent stage.

Perhaps it’s because the foundation of Facebook is collecting as many “friends”, likes, and comments as possible and these numbers are blatantly displayed on everyone’s page like trophies. Or perhaps it’s because it’s an environment where people generally only show their best selves and fail to expose their shadows. Whatever the reason, I’m left with a negative feeling when I spend … Click here to continue reading...