"You let out a great and ferocious howl as you drive the Calico hordes from the Baloney Forest and into the Pet Carrier Catacombs of the damned! Your infantry of Basset Hounds join the chorus of victory as you hoist your salami saber and --hey, wait a minute! Suddenly you're under the kitchen table, lying in a puddle of drool. What happened? And, more important, where'd your salami saber go?