LeoJuly 23 - Aug 22
The next week will be spent waiting for tech support for your DSL connection.
Yes, that's some kind of record. All you needed to do was reboot for the settings
to take affect though.

VirgoAug 23 - Sept 22You'll have a tough time escaping the embarrasment later this
week when you show your cubicle-mate your Palm V, and ask to see
his "handheld".

LibraSep 23 - Oct 23
You feel left out by all the SirCam virus action having never received one,
and realize that either you have very smart friends, or none at all. The stars
suggest the latter.

ScorpioOct 24 - Nov 21
Much to your chagrin you will be escorted out of the BSD conference this week
by security. Apparently BSD doesn't stand for Big Sloppy Drunkfest.

SagittariusNov 22 - Dec 21
You feel horrible, but with so many Hotmail servers shut down by Code Red,
you're going to have a tough time providing advice to all those friends who
sent you their Word documents.

CapricornDec 22 - Jan 19
People will come from miles around to see the giant concave mirror you created
using AOL CDs that gives new meaning to the term "fried chicken".

AquariusJan 20 - Feb 18
Burger King gets a new "drive thru" window this week as your GPS system
isn't as accurate as you thought.

PiscesFeb 19 - Mar 20
The verdict is that you should break up with your boyfriend for being a closet
FrontPage user. I asked Barry, he said the same thing.

AriesMar 21 - Apr 19
Well, the NFL preseason is upon us, and that can mean only one thing: Time
to crank up your fantasy football bots in Perl.

TaurusApr 20 - May 20Put on a happy face! Your Starfleet Academy trading cards
you've been saving will double in price late this month, bringing
your card collection value to a whopping $27.38.

GeminiMay 21 - June 21
You thought your dot-com would be the one to hang in there, but unfortunately
fatfratboysinboxers.com will go belly-up later this week.