Alright, Mamas, how do you deal with an overly emotional child?

1. Make Eye Contact“I get down to his level (as in physically bend down to make eye contact) and acknowledge how he is feeling. Keep my voice calm and try to help him through it until he feels calm again.” Ness from One Perfect Day

2. Validate Their Emotions“I think one important thing to do (that I have such a hard time remembering to do sometimes) is to validate their emotions. Make sure they know that you understand what they are feeling before immediately redirecting or reprimanding.” Krissy from B-Inspired Mama

3. Keep A Routine“I try to keep things predictable, talk to my son about what is going to happen today, talk him through changes to plans or routines so there’s no surprises that could trigger an emotional meltdown.” Ness from One Perfect Day

4. Give Them A Supportive Environment“I used to try and figure out ways to try and avoid [my daughter’s] tears; I can see now that it is just the way she naturally expresses herself. She ‘breaks down’ in many different situations. I give her a supportive environment where she knows that it is okay to release her emotions. The wave of emotions will pass in a few minutes and with a warm hug. I have no idea how her deeply felt emotions will impact her as she grows into her teen years. I hope my support is teaching her that it is better to release the emotion than to bottle it up inside.” Jennifer from Kitchen Counter Chronicles

5. Ease Transitions“Make sure you give them as much info as you can … ‘We will be going to leave in 10 minutes to go ______. This is what we will be doing there. This is who will be there.’” Laura from PlayDrMom

6. Distract Them With Counting“We validate his feelings first – ‘I know you miss daddy but he’s had to go to work so that we can have nice toys and food,’ etc… then when they are starting to calm down I have found that counting to 20 with me really calms him down – it seems to focus him and then we can talk about where Daddy is.” Cerys from Rainy Day Mum

7. Give Them Time to Calm Down“Also, I’ve learned that if they get really upset it can help to give them some time to calm down before trying to talk about what they are upset about – validate the emotion and then discuss it later.” MaryAnne from Mama Smiles

8. Try a Tickle“We call it ‘tickle torture’ but it is really just a way to make your child laugh. We say, “If you aren’t able to calm down, you have three options: 1) tickles, 2) boops or 3) kisses.” 9 times out of 10 this alone gets him to snap out of his bit of crazy. Then we can address the behavior if we feel we need to do so.” Marnie from Carrots Are Orange (Check out lots more alternatives to “time out” from Marnie!)

9. Give a Big Hug“I find what works is telling her I understand why she feels this way, but I don’t understand why she is acting this way. When we are mad, we don’t hit. When we are sad, we don’t throw ourselves on the ground. I also take her aside and give her a very big, deep pressure hug. That sometimes helps her, too.” Danielle from 52 Brand New

10. Teach Them to Use Their Words“We’ve focused a lot on talking about our feelings and using our words to express how we feel. As it’s something we’ve done from birth, if we’re ever having a melt down I can generally just remind my daughter to use her words and that usually works to start to calm her down. I remind her that I can’t understand her but that I can understand that she’s upset and to tell me about it.” Deborah from Learn with Play @ Home

11. Make Sure They’re Basic Needs Are Met“[My kids] seem to peak if they are tired or hungry. We make sure to have healthy, well balanced meals on a fairly scheduled basis AND have the kids get enough sleep. This doesn’t always help, but is worth a go!” Amanda from The Educators’ Spin On It

These are great ideas, many of which have worked for my daughter. I've also tried to teach her to take a deep breath when she is feeling out of control. (If she'll let me) I'll take her hands, remind her to take a deep breath, and breathe with her. That little break often helps us both know we are on each others side and helps us try to understand each other.

I would think so, too, Wendy. I am struggling with my 6 year old lately, too. And I’ve found the book, The Explosive Child, really helpful. It seems like a lot of it is geared toward older kids and with slightly bigger challenges than what I’m dealing with, but the technique are still really helpful!

my issue i dont think is the same as many others. my son is over 6 years old and will literally throw a tantrum on the floor over things as small as me asking him to pick up his shoes or drink water instead of juice. he has had to deal with some changes but it has been going on for about 2 years and isnt improving. i very much believe in disapline and consequences but i also give a lot of praise and occational prizes for good behavior. im not sure what im doing wrong or how i can get him to quit acting so much like a toddler.

I feel you, Ashley! I have similar issues with my oldest not “outgrowing” those types of tantrums and behaviors. I have since learned that it is related to some special needs in his case (Sensory Processing Disorder, ADHD, and Developmental Coordination Disorder). I’m not saying that this is your son’s case, though, of course. But here is a post about a book that really helped me: http://b-inspiredmama.com/2014/08/parenting-the-explosive-child/

The comments that have been left are good for dealing with the situation at the time. However, they do little to alleviate the behavior as the child grows. I know because I was an overly emotional child who has turned into an overly emotional adult. Parents, teachers and other adults tried most of the above suggestions with me and although they may have stopped the immediate breakdown they also made me feel weak and powerless to control my own emotions. We need to dig deeper and teach our children how to express themselves and ask for help before the breakdown occurs. I am certainly no expert, as I found this site while trying to figure out how to handle my own emotional child. I will continue to look for answers but I think it has more to building independence and confidence. Dealing with the breakdown alone is like judging an iceberg by what you can see. There is much more beneath the surface.

That is such a great point, Angela. I do agree with you and will plan a post that addresses the deeper issues related to an overly-emotional child. Thank you! And I’m hoping you find some resources that help you.