The Constant: A History of Getting Things Wrong

Because you wonderful, amazing jerks helped reach our stretch goal, Mark's got a promise to fulfill. To explain that promise--and the title of this very show--we're rebroadcasting our season 1 finale. Einstein was a genius, but that didn't save him from messing stuff up. So let's revisit his greatest blunder, and catch-up on the year-long saga of the tattoo that wasn't but will soon be.

It's Halloween and that means it's time for a spooky one. This week, for the last episode of our Kickstarter season, we've got a real-life story of ghosts, possession and a weird nexus where superstition meets science. Plus, there's chance for you to force Mark into getting that tattoo from way back in season 1. All it takes is to donate to our Kickstarter fundraiser right here.

Forks! A handier, less-controversial item would be difficult to imagine. Yet, for hundreds of years Europeans recoiled from the fork with a hilarious zeal: condemning anyone who used one to jokes, shame and even death. For the third episode of ourKickstarter season, we're looking at the anti-fork panic that seized a continent for centuries. We're less than two weeks from the end of our fundraiser, so when you're done listening, go take a look here.

n 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And then... well, that's the question. What exactly did this dude do? And where did the myth of Columbus come from? For the first episode of our new Kickstarter season, we're finding out. Oh, you wanted to hear more about that 'kickstarter'? You can do so here:

It was a dark and stormy night. A dark and stormy year, really. And it gave birth to a monster, a New Prometheus which descended upon the panicked world, leaving death and destruction in its wake. For this, our season finale, we give you the most frightening and dangerous invention of the 19th century. The bicycle.

In the late 19th century, Americans moved into the western states because of one simple phrase. But despite what you learned in junior high, it wasn't "manifest destiny." Today we're talking about the real maxim responsible for westward expansion, a maxim that centered a bizarre bit of pseudo-science that shaped America and then nearly destroyed it.

This week we're back at The Paper Machete for more political comedy, talking about Trump and Russia. Which is probably the last thing you need to hear more about, because the world is a confusing, terrifying morass of impossible contradictions that's only deepened in its horror by the wash cycle of unthinkable news stories. But maybe there's a way to ride that wash cycle! And maybe it comes from looking back at two animals that challenge how we think we know what we know. Or! Maybe it's all just a longwinded setup to a cheap punchline. Only one way to find out!

Turks, Turks!

Without accidents, mistakes and foolishness, there would be no military history. Nearly every war ever fought was determined, to some large degree, by someone getting something wrong. Napoleon, Hitler, Robert E. Lee, Hannibal... you name it. So to tell a war story on The Constant, that story would have to be an act of military stupidity orders of magnitude greater than the norm. Luckily for you, this week we have just such a story. And for some reason, we're giving it to you in the style of an old school nintendo game.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

In 1926, the quiet, small-town of Kittanning, Pennsylvania was descended upon by a mob of salesmen and hucksters selling solutions to a peculiar problem: a mysterious and inexplicable epidemic of baldness. This week, we look at the weird and wacky history of baldness cures, and the even stranger story of a town in need of them.