Lehi named the river after his slacker son, Laman, hoping it would inspire him to be more dependable, like the "continually running" river.

He called the name of the river, Laman, and it emptied into the Red Sea ... saying: O that thou mightest be like unto this river, continually running. 1 Nephi 2:8

And Lehi named the valley after his other worthless son, Lemuel, hoping it would somehow make him more "steadfast" and "immovable" like the big valley that the River Laman passed through.

And he also spake unto Lemuel: O that thou mightest be like unto this valley, firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord!
1 Nephi 2:10

But the magic didn't work. Laman and Lemuel were still a couple of whiny-ass, pieces of shit that were "like unto the Jews."

Now this he spake because of the stiffneckedness of Laman and Lemuel; for behold they did murmur in many things against their father.
....
They were like unto the Jews.
1 Nephi 2:11-13

Nephi wasn't like his older brothers, though. He didn't have a Jew-like bone in his body. (OK, he was a Jew, too, but he didn't act like one.) He wanted to know the mysteries of God, so he cried unto the Lord.

I, Nephi, ... having great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord 1 Nephi 2:16a

And, by golly, the Lord heard him and came to visit him to soften up his heart so he'd believe whatever the hell his bat-shit crazy dad said.

And behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers. 1 Nephi 2:16b

And the dumb-as-shit Sam went along with whatever the Holy Spirit revealed to his younger brother Nephi.

And I spake unto Sam, making known unto him the things which the Lord had manifested unto me by his Holy Spirit. And it came to pass that he believed in my words. 1 Nephi 2:17

But Laman and Lemuel wouldn't listen to Nephi because they suffered from Pharaoh's syndrome: the hardening of the heart. So Nephi asked his good friend God what to do about it.

But, behold, Laman and Lemuel would not hearken unto my words; and being grieved because of the hardness of their hearts I cried unto the Lord for them. 1 Nephi 2:18

God, who happened to be visiting at the time, told Nephi what a good boy he was, that he would live long and prosper, and that God would lead him to a new land, a land that God had prepared just for him (and the Mormons) and that was better than everywhere else on earth. (Spoiler: God's talking about America here. God made the entire western hemisphere for Nephi and it's way better than anything in the Old World.)

Blessed art thou, Nephi, because of thy faith, for thou hast sought me diligently, with lowliness of heart ... Ye shall prosper, and shall be led to a land of promise; yea, even a land which I have prepared for you; yea, a land which is choice above all other lands. 1 Nephi 2:19-20

God goes on (and on) about what a great guy Nephi is and all the cool things he's going to do for him. But God hates Nephi's brothers, which he'll soon be cursing "even with a sore curse."

And inasmuch as thy brethren shall rebel against thee, they shall be cut off from the presence of the Lord ... For behold, in that day that they shall rebel against me, I will curse them even with a sore curse. 1 Nephi 2:21-23

The chapter ends with God saying something about how if Nephi's brothers continue to misbehave, he'll have to "stir them up in the ways of remembrance."

And if it so be that they rebel against me, they shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in the ways of remembrance. 1 Nephi 2:24

I don't know what that means. God sometimes talks funny when he gets excited in the Book of Mormon (especially when he starts quoting the New Testament, 700 years before it was written).

Well, busterggi, I saved the old (new) template this time, so I could go back to it if necessary. But it's probably better not to change things too much, since that's what people are used to seeing here.

And yes, Matthew, I guess I was (sort of) referring that movie, although Lehi's journey was way more incredible.

The chapter ends with God saying something about how if Nephi's brothers continue to misbehave, he'll have to "stir them up in the ways of remembrance."

And if it so be that they rebel against me, they shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in the ways of remembrance. 1 Nephi 2:24I don't know what that means. God sometimes talks funny when he gets excited in the Book of Mormon (especially when he starts quoting the New Testament, 700 years before it was written).

I think what was meant here was a warning from God that the brothers of Nephi would be trouble for his kids ("they shall be a scourge unto thy seed") but that trouble would make them remember Gods promise of a land of their own ("stir them up in the ways of remembrance")