A Thirty-Something: Jesus Follower. Fire Wife. Mama to Ella.
I'm head-over-heels, crazy-in-love with my husband, our daughter, and our life. It's not always perfect (and I'm not afraid to let that show), but I love it just as it is.

Friday, September 4, 2009

My Firefighter

I don't talk much on my blog about Mr. Lukie's career as a firefighter, or about what it's like to be married to a firefighter. I don't talk about the missed birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, parties and other celebrations. I don't talk about the 24-hour shifts. I don't talk about when the 24-hour shifts turn into 48 or 72-hour shifts, solely by adding in 1 or 2 overtime shifts. I don't talk about the Strike Team deployments, when the guys are sent out for weeks at a time to fight the wildfires that California is so well known for each summer.

It's not what I would call "easy" to be married to a firefighter. In order to do so, one has to be independent. If he's at work and the dog gets sprayed by a skunk (unbeknownst to you at the time) and is running around the house foaming at the mouth, acting bizarrely and generally freaking out, or you are under the weather and can't get off the couch because you're too sick, you're on your own to figure it all out.

One also has to be secure in her relationship, and with herself. There are plenty of women, and, let's be real here, girls, who would be more than happy to take your husband off of your hands, if even for just an hour or two. That whole "firefighter fantasy" thing, I suppose. Ha! I guarantee you that the majority of them wouldn't know what to do if they were to get your firefighter--the lonely nights? The Friday nights spent alone? The birthday missed because he was on duty? But it goes both ways. I can see how a wife who is not secure with herself might find that when he's working a 24 on a Friday night, or he is going to miss her birthday because he's at the fire station, might feel neglected or unloved. Seek out the attention of someone who is around more often, who has a more "normal" schedule. At least when our husbands are at work, we *KNOW* where they are, who they're with, and what they're doing. When our husbands are at work, they don't *KNOW* where we are, who we're with, or what we're doing. Being a firefighter and being married to a firefighter...it's a tough gig, a true test of a relationship.

One also has to believe in a higher power. I suppose "has to" isn't practical to use here, but I just don't see how a firefighter or his wife cannot believe in God when he is out there, his life on the line every second of every call. From the minute he gets in the engine on the way to a call, to the time he gets back to the station, his life is on the line. And each and every time, my firefighter makes it back to the station, back home, after every shift, healthy and alive. Sure, you might chalk that up to coincidence. To safety. To skill and knowledge and training. To a generally "safe" area of town that they service. But how long will coincidence, safety, skill, knowledge, training and being stationed in a "safe" part of town hold up? How long until that doesn't matter? My point exactly--there is someone else out there looking out for these firefighters & their families, someone bigger than us, larger than life itself.

I don't tell my firefighter enough how very proud I am of him. How grateful I am to him for putting his life on the line so that he can help other families in times of tragedy. How much I admire him, because I don't think I would have the strength to run into a burning building against all instinct to run out. Or have the strength to extricate a charred, lifeless body from a burnt vehicle. He goes above and beyond what he is called to do. I have the utmost respect for this man, for so very many reasons, but today, I want him to know how much I respect him for being a firefighter.

5 comments:

That was a great post! That wedding picture totally took my breath away! It looks like a fantasy faux wedding :) And you look beautiful. You should post more pictures...it will make me want to be a bride all over again.And your last post---well, the title made me think you were expecting.... ;)