You Decide Whether Your House is a Home

I set the goal of writing seven posts in seven days. Today is the day that almost broke my streak…almost.

I worked from 0600 to 1600 and then went sailing from 1630 to 2000. Got home around 2100 hung out with the wife and detoxed my mind until right now, where it’s 2221 (I’ve got 1.5 hrs. to write, edit, & publish).

I had half a glass of wine and felt myself fading, between work and the sun I’m pretty exhausted. Instead of giving in to the voice of complacency, I’ve decided to open the eyes which were so close to ending this day and am instead choosing to find comfort in the discomfort of the grind.

I set this goal, I’m committed.

Throughout this piece I use the term “house” to label your living environment. This all still applies to condos, apartments, duplexes, tee-pees, and boats.

Your Home is More Than Wood, Metal, and Plastic

The house you live in should be more than a means with which you work to impress others. It should be designed in a manner which reflects those who live in it and not the latest trend society has approved of.

Your house is your opportunity to create the exact environment you wish the world was made of.

The colors you want to see, the type of layout, the flow you wish you could experience in your office, friend’s houses, bars, restaurants you can create exactly that within the walls of where you live. Your home should energize you, not make you feel claustrophobic or cluttered.

Are you doing that? Are you making your home your source of positive energy?

When you look at your house, does it:

Tell the world who you are as a person?

Do you have your books out or hidden?

Are your colors vibrant and welcoming or tan, grey, or a boring neutral?

Is your furniture looking like something you’d be comfortable in or something selected from a designer magazine?

Do you have artwork, designs, and unique decorations around the house or is it generic stuff used to fill empty space?

Your house is likely built from the same material as a majority of everyone else’s home, so what are you doing to make yours unique?

You’ve got to live intentionally. You’ve got to design with a purpose and allow the others living with you to do the same.

My daughter’s room is pink and artistic with a dash of princess. My wife painted her closet to look like the room from the movie Tangled, and we designed a bunch of shelves to give her a feminine yet open and clutter free room.

My son’s room is New England Patriot’s colors (Red, Silver, Navy Blue) which I designed and painted. It has hooks for the hats and jerseys from his football and baseball teams he plays on as well as a big desk for him to read and write at.

Their rooms are pure masculine and feminine. One is all sport and the other all princess.

Our bathroom is beach themed, entirely unique colors were used, yellows and grays with some blue.

The living room is all about getting people’s Zen on. Open walls, non-cluttered horizontal surfaces, a light blue color. It’s the type of room that if you’d have to describe it in a word, it would be relaxing. We have a diffuser in there which my wife picked up. She uses various oils to top off the vibes you get in there.

The rest of the house is the same way. Our kitchen is unique, our bedroom is unique, my writing station has its own design, etc.

Most houses we go to are tans, grays, whites, and that’s it throughout the entire house. Now, I’ve seen some clean looking homes that were mostly white or stone. Nothing against your personal preference (I wouldn’t do white with my kids) but the homes a majority live in are just the most basic of things without any style at all.

This is somewhere that you’ll spend a majority of your life. Yet instead of customizing the property to reflect its owners, people use their house as a pawn to help them gain favor with other plugged in individuals who’ve got their head so far up main stream medias ass it’s amazing they can see any color but brown.

This is your home, don’t be afraid to claim it with some bold color and representation of ‘self’.

Your House is only Wood, Metal, and Plastic

With all of that ‘make your house reflect who you are as a person‘ out of the way, I’m going to tell you that if it were all to burn to the ground, you should just let it go.

My wife and I had a cookout at her parent’s house and they began asking us if we’d like to buy their home when they moved.

We respectfully declined and stated that while it was a beautiful home (it truly is a beautiful home on great land) in an amazing area, we didn’t want it for us.

This caught them off guard and her mom (the house was her parent’s home before her’s) began to explain how much the house meant to her.

Then my wife dropped the bomb which inspired this post. She said, “It’s just a house. It’s just wood, nails, some screws, and a property that you grew up on. Those memories are great, but if you’re holding your present self back because you’re attached to this physical object, then you aren’t fully living.

You’re held back because you’ve identified with this house, and that’s something I will never do, nor will I ever ask that of our kids. Hunter and I moved a lot while he was in the Navy and maybe it’s because of that, but I don’t view my house to be anything other than a temporary arrangement which we will change at some point in our future.

We will move to a house on the water or to the south at some point and while I will miss our home because of the great memories, I will never choose to stay in it for that reason. We have to live in the now and we have to own our objects, not allow them to own us.”

Everyone was silent then the subject was changed.

A few days later at another cookout my wife’s father told some friends that they were thinking about moving and when they asked if my mother-in-law was onboard, he said that she had an ‘awakening’ after a discussion she recently had.

You should get energized in your home, not feeling as though the walls were closing in.

If you live on a farm, don’t think that it means your kid is going to inherent that farm. If he wants to, great for you but be prepared to face the fact that your children may not want to live the life you lived.

Your house is just a house, if it’s struck by lightning and burns to the ground while you are away, guess what? You’re still good, it’s just a home and the wood, metal, and plastic don’t make that thing a home, the people who lived inside it did. You’re still alive, you can bring your family somewhere new and create that home again.

Our houses keep us safe from the elements. They provide a location that acts as our ‘safe space’, allowing us to be who we truly are. We must not confuse that level of comfort in our home to be the result of the home.

It is the people who live together, the family unit which makes these houses so great. It isn’t your house that means so much to you, it’s the space you share with your wife, son, and daughter.

Stop using your home as another opportunity to fit in with others, take it and claim it. Make your home reflect each and every member of the family who lives in it.

(It’s only 2305, plenty of time to spare)

Acta Non Verba,
Hunter

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16 thoughts on “You Decide Whether Your House is a Home”

My wife and I have lived in (and owned) six houses in 28 years. She’s a Realtor and that has taught me the lesson your wife taught your mother in law. Very true.

My Curvey is an amazing decorator and I love to turn her loose to see what she comes up with. She can dumpster dive like no other. Trash to treasure is one of her many gifts. We bought a vacation beach condo and I laughed like hell as the UPS guy kept dropping Amazon shit on our porch. And yet, the condo looks lie is now.

I also commend you for not fucking up yoir 7 day commitment. It’s only 7 days amigo. We all did 31 in March! You’ve got this. LOL 😂

Your house definitely tells others about who you are! I have recently realized that my house is not a reflection of who I want to be, and I think if I can make my house reflect that, I will be more on the right track!

Hey man, Just wanted to say thanks for your writting! From when I first heard of you (did the original men of march) I have not ceased to find comfort in discomfort. You have helped me to bring out my tyoe A personality that was otherwize all but extinct due to a dull complacent society telling me that I was an ass hole and doing it all wrong. FUCK THAT!! I have set the obscene goal of becomming an airshow pilot. And I have been going all out every day not only in making that a reality, but in every other aspect. My son just turned 4 and I taught him how to ride a bike (with no training wheels!). He will be joining me next summer for mountain biking. Social skills have been a bit of a sticking point for me since my divorce, but I have been doing what I needed to do daily to change that. (Just met a cute med student at a party I got invited to full of doctors and dentists and shit–and had a blast!). Shit man, in this very post you said “ive set the goal, I am commited.” Fuck yes. It took some crazy ass orchestration of people that didn’t owe me shit, yet still WANTED to help me out to make it possible, but I am closing on an airplane tomorrow morning. I starred an LLC so I can save money on taxes while flight training. I am scared shittless about this purchase…and will require an insane amount of dillifence and hard fucking work to het this to work out. But I am i tentionally putting my fucking back against the wall here. I either make it work, or I let it fail–and failure is not a fucking option. I am truly finding vast amounts of comfort in being uncomfortable. Weight training with a new buddy of mine (ex MMA fighter) and I am in the best damn shape of my life (personall best 7 min mile–and I aint a runner at all!). This shit is really only the beginning. But fuck dude, you have helped me find my pirpose again. And when shit sucks (and there are days when I am just sucking a fart out of life’s asshole) reading your posts helps reignite that fire.
Thanks again dude. Also, fuck the spelling on this stuff–touch screen typing mane!