1. Putting things off. You can’t keep putting off important conversations about marriage and babies and moving in together. You need to be on the same page. You need to know what the other person is planning for the future so there aren’t any surprises.

2. Snooping around. If you have to go through your partner’s emails and text messages, because you don’t trust them, then why are you even with them? You need to find someone you believe would never hurt you.

3. Expecting sex to solve your problems. Makeup sex can be hot as hell — but you actually have to make up before it happens. You can’t just end your fight with kisses. You need to actually talk about your problems. Don’t rely on sex to magically solve everything.

4. Just not caring anymore. You shouldn’t stop flirting with your partner. Dressing up for your partner. Putting in effort for your partner. You can’t get too lazy, start taking each other for granted, or else someone is going to feel neglected and leave.

5. Keeping score. It doesn’t matter if you spent one-hundred dollars on his birthday gift and he only spent fifty. It doesn’t matter if you picked up the check three times that month when he only paid twice. If you act like your relationship is a competition, then you’re going to drive yourself insane.

6. Giving the silent treatment. Ignoring each other isn’t going to help solve any problems. In order to fix what’s broken, you need to sit down like two mature adults and have a conversation. Come to a compromise. If you keep all your anger bottled up, you’ll never last as a couple.

7. Trying to change each other. You should love your partner the way they are right now. No exceptions. If you’re hoping that they’ll change careers or clothing styles, then you’re going to end up disappointed, because most people will stay the same.

8. Bringing up old fights. Get over the fact that your partner fucked up three years ago. You need to forgive them and move on. And if they did something unforgivable, you should find someone else, someone that has never hurt you before.

9. Refusing to admit wrongdoing. When you mess up, your partner deserves an apology. If you keep making excuses for your actions, your partner is going to get sick of it.

10. Making comparisons to other couples. You shouldn’t compare yourselves to your best friends, who look happily married — or to your parents, who are miserable and divorced. You’re different people in a different situation.

11. Trying to cause jealousy. Don’t flirt to make your partner jealous. It won’t pull them closer. It will only push them further away.

12. Resenting each other. Your partner isn’t the reason why you aren’t achieving your dreams. Why you’re still stuck in your hometown. Why you never made anything of yourself. Stop blaming them. If you really want to go after your goals, then do it — even if that means leaving them behind.

13. Keeping your partner at arm’s length. Your partner should meet your parents. Hang out with your friends. Become a part of your life. If you don’t want to involve them, then you don’t belong with them.