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darthv8r

FenStar wrote:I asked my mom if she needed a new computer for school, and she wanted to know if it was white, because if it was white it would be an old one. "they don't make white computers anymore"
*sigh*

spongebrain

krapposelli wrote:How's the family doing? Did you explain it to your son and is he doing okay? Do you want me to just shut up so you don't have to think about it and answer any questions?

He just knows that his "cousin" died. Need to verify what the other youngins have been told and coordinate the lies that well tell them. I want to be truthful, but the rest of my extended family wants to sugar coat it for the kids.

He is of the age where he wants to play with toy guns and we are trying to make him realize that TV/Movies and reality are two separate animals. This would be an excellent example.

ThunderThighs

spongebrain wrote:He just knows that his "cousin" died. Need to verify what the other youngins have been told and coordinate the lies that well tell them. I want to be truthful, but the rest of my extended family wants to sugar coat it for the kids.

That is actually best. As with anything, you give kids information appropriate to their age & understanding. As my son got older, if he asked, I told him the truth on our family members. We then talked about what brings people to that state of mind and how it affects others.

spongebrain

daj59 wrote:That is actually best. As with anything, you give kids information appropriate to their age & understanding. As my son got older, if he asked, I told him the truth on our family members. We then talked about what brings people to that state of mind and how it affects others.

So noted. I was his age when my mom killed herself so I am maybe a little jaded in propagating mistakes that my family made. Thanks for the additional point of view.

Must have been the day for suicide yesterday. A co-worker of mine just got the same phone call about his step-sons' (plural) father.

KtCallista

Not knowing anything about your son. I am a big proponent of the truth to kids, but there are certain things they can understand and things they can't. With that in mind I think if your son could handle it you could tell him more details, if he understood not to tell other family members, because they can not handle those details. (If your son is a tween/teen, or mature for his age) I think that would work well. Also, after the funeral and grieving period may be a better time to address the issue, once the shock has settled.

I am constantly amazed at the concepts my almost 3 year old can handle, but at the same time, she is in no way ready to even come close to understanding death on this scale, let alone the cause.

selli

Not knowing anything about your son. I am a big proponent of the truth to kids, but there are certain things they can understand and things they can't. With that in mind I think if your son could handle it you could tell him more details, if he understood not to tell other family members, because they can not handle those details. (If your son is a tween/teen, or mature for his age) I think that would work well. Also, after the funeral and grieving period may be a better time to address the issue, once the shock has settled.

I am constantly amazed at the concepts my almost 3 year old can handle, but at the same time, she is in no way ready to even come close to understanding death on this scale, let alone the cause.

KtC said everything I wanted to say, but I couldn't find a way to say it concisely and coherently so I just deleted it. With your unfortunate experience in this area, I think you would especially know best on how to help your son through this.

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