AUNTY BELLA – UPDATES

Hi Everyone,A new Aunty Bella case is coming up tomorrow so I think its about time that I compiled all the updates from previous ‘cases’. I have been willing to do this for a while but its been tough compiling all the responses.Honestly, I have learned a lot from the ‘Aunty Bella’ feature, especially Ms. Cater 2 Me’s case (LOL…No it wasn’t me). Anyway, here goes:Ms. Frontin’ Don’t PaySummary: A guy was chatting her up for a couple of months and she was frontin’ excessively. Dude moved on and she was pained.Update: Ms. Frontin’ Don’t Pay has been in a relationship for several months. The original dude that she was frontin’ for turned out to be a major jerk as he had a fiancé abroad while he was chasing other girls around Lagos. I guess her frontin’ paid after all!

Ms. Papa Don’t PreachSummary: She is Yoruba and her fiancé is Igbo. Her dad said No, No NOOOO!Update: They are married! Her Dad was not ecstatic but accepted his in-laws when they performed the introduction and marriage. Her wedding website was floating around but I cant say who!

Mr. TornSummary: Had a long-term girlfriend/fiancé in Nigeria, arrived in the States for his MBA and started a serious affair with another girl.Update: Coincidentally, I found out that I know who Mr. Torn is! Hahahha…Dude is nice looking o and an Ivy-League MBA scholar. LOL…but on a more serious note. He eventually broke it to his long-term girlfriend in Nigeria and continued to date his new lady. He and the new lady have broken up and he is currently single. Mr. Torn is def. not serious or ready to settle down. In my opinion, the girl in Nigeria should be happy that she dodged the bullet.

Ms. Yoruba WahalaSummary: Both she and her bf/fiance are Yoruba and based in the US. She is Muslim and he is a Christian. He is almost a decade older and he does not have a degree. Her parents said No because of his lack of a degree plus the fact that he is from one of the ‘Ara-Oke Yoruba states’.Update: Her bf/fiance is having a baby and she is not the mother! They have broken-up! End of story!

Ms. Cut Your Coat According To Your SizeSummary: UK Bred Nigerian, moved back to Lagos and got caught up in the ‘lifestyle’. She was extremely broke but was still living it up with her friends. She did not know what to do and could not share this information with her friends.Update: Miss CYCATYS says that she has cut down on some excesses but she is still not financially secure and is still living the Lagos ‘lifestyle’. Sad.

Ms. B-DilemmaSummary: Has very small breasts, low self-esteem and was considering breast augmentation.Update: She eventually went ahead with the operation and says she is happy with the physical results but still suffers from low self-esteem. She says she is in therapy. Good luck girl!

Ms. Man Vs MoneySummary: She got a job with an investment bank but her boyfriend (who did not have a permanent job) felt the job would be too stressful and would be detrimental to their future.Update: She actually rejected the investment banking job (whattttt???), she got a well-paid graduate position with a multi-national firm decided to go with that instead. Her bf proposed but they have since broken up for other reasons.

Ms. MiserySummary: Well-educated lady in her 30s based in the US. She was miserable because she was not married or in a serious relationship while younger friends and acquaintances are getting married.Update: Ms. Misery is still single but she says she is no longer miserable! She moved back to Nigeria some months ago, is doing well in a new job and has several guys who are seriously interested and she says she is praying about them.

Ms. Cater 2 MeSummary: She had a very stingy boyfriend who has never given her a gift in 4 years of dating but he spends a lot of money on himself.Update: Wrote a letter to her boyfriend detailing how she felt about his stinginess. They had a huge fight after he read the letter. They eventually made up and talked about it. Dude has turned a new leaf.

Mrs. TrappedSummary: Young married lady who moved to the US to ‘join’ her husband whom she had only met once previously. Since her arrival, she began to feel alienated and timid due to her husband’s incessant jabs about her accent etc…Update: Mrs Trapped has started her nursing course and attempted to discuss the issue with her husband several times to no avail. He still treats her well and provides for her but she says he is still cold. Her mother has advised her to get pregnant ASAP.

That’s it!Watch out for tomorrow’s Aunty Bella…Thanks for all the support so far.If you have an issue, email bellanaija@gmail.com – its completely confidentialWhich ‘Aunty Bella case’ did you relate to or learn the most from. Do you have any new advice for them? Let us know.

ok now that i have read…looks like alls well for most…poor miss trapped..baby might be the way for sure! I must have missed some of the posts cus they did not ring a bell…gotta read those! Tomorrow i will get paid to do that 😀muah darlyn!

I swear Bella you are the most random chick i know….lol..see me siddon dey look my monitor dey refresh ur page hoping to be first and here i am 6th and depressed…lol…its all gravy though, i will be back to claim my spot.

Now about the updates, some were really good, others…..lets just say the thing get as e be.i’m glad Ms Fronting was lucky enough to avoid an heart-break….like Bella said, guess fronting paid off afterall…lol

Papa Don’t preach- this struck a cord with me ‘cuz i have been i similar situation…glad the couple stood their ground.

Mr Tom- What can i say…Osomo Nigeria PLC!!!!…lol…I get the playboy vibe from his story jare…Keep playing them dude just hope you don’t get played at your game…which you eventually would…oh! what a sad day that will be, beleive me it will be ten times worse than what you put those chicks through.

Ms Yoruba- I almost wanted to go with her parents on thier decision when i read the story..(especially the fact that dude lacks a degree…and yes, i’m shallow like that…lol).guess parents where right afterall…

Ms CYCATYS- My favorite of all, I beleive with time our dear damsel will learn…just don’t wait till your credit is totally f$#ked-up or worse file chapter 11- Bankruptcy before you wise up….Get a handle on it darling…we all love the good things in life, i’m a recovering shopaholic…but damn, i know where to draw the line and putting my credit history and finances on the line to “keep up with my friends” is going a tad bit too far. i suggest you take your $600 Jimmy Choo shoes for a little walk at a book store and while u are at it, try picking up a Suze Orman book…will go a long way helping you kick your addiction.

Ms Man- great choice…sometimes you gotta be selfish and think about you before other mofos…imagine how miserable u would have been now if you had passed up on the offer.

Ms Cater 2 me- What can i say, your story is a living testament that communication saves relationship

Ms Misery- I hope your desire to get married was not the motive behind your move….if it was, bad choice darling, i’m gonna blunt with you. Moving to from yankee to Timbuktu ain’t gonna change a damn thing if the time appointed for you isn’t here yet. I’m glad u’re no longer stressing, try to enjoy everyday like it’s your last… as supposed to obsessing over the fact that you are 30 and unmarried. You are alive, healthy, and educated…with time darling everything else would fall into place.

Ms Trapped by far the saddest story….what can i say…you have to decide whats’ best for you gurl…if you want to stick it out then kudos to you, otherwise you still have my respect. Glad to hear u have started on the nursing classes…at least we are making progress somewhere…lol…don’t despair dear, like i said before, there is still a silver lining in the cloud

Nice updates Bella. You know you RAWK RIGHT!… We all wondered 🙂 Point in case ladies at the end of the day, do you, cuz omo sometimes a mans ego will get in the way of your goals either personal, spiritual, mental or career wise… I have an ediot tryna do the same shit now (He’s got a problem with the fact that I just got a promotion instead of being supportive I’m getting sarcasm).. He’s about to get dumped.

Per Ms. Yoruba, it pays to listen to your parents sha…they might give some b.s reasons why you shouldn’t marry someone but half the time it’s usually because they can’t explain a premonition. And honestly, a guy that is not happy with you progressing will never make you happy, so staying in a relationship like that is just self-destructive. Ms. Trapped is still the saddest of all, I hope she’ reading, please don’t listen to your mum and have a child, there’s no sense in bringing a child into an unhappy home, it will just add to it. Focus on your schooling for at least a year and make friends, become active in organizations! Thank goodness he isn’t hitting you.Bella…bella great job!

I feel sad for Ms. B-Dilemma. I remember reading that one and wanting to respond that she might need to work on something a lot deeper. Her problem is not the size of her breasts and I’m hoping that the therapy will help. I also hope she has no regrets about doing the operation. Somehow, I feel bad for not responding with my thoughts.

I cant believe “Mrs Trapped” has been advised to get pregnant, that right there is some pretty dumb advice…why bring a baby into such a cold and potentially harmful environment. Mrs Trapped, just say no instead UP your dosage of the BC pill until you sort your life out.

well done Bella!!! Follow up is great and rarely done! interesting turn outs to the problems.. reserving the rest of my comments. Hope this comment authorization thing is easy for you o,cos i know you get a lot of comments. More work men,pele!

Very interesting updates – I’ve learnt a lot from all of them – I’m glad that many of them have moved on to happier situations and changed things in their lives that needed to be changed. The updates also show that sometimes difficulties really are blessings in disguise. Great job as usual, Bella!

Thanks for giving us an update Bella. It’s good to hear that some of the issues raised have been resolved by themselves. Ms Yorubawahala and Ms Fronting should consider themselves blessed that they escaped future issues! Ms Trapped’s story is still sad though. I don’t agree with her mum’s advice to get pregnant asap. I hope she can find some joy and fulfilment in the things she does.

ms cut your coat needs a hot slap, why are you killing yourself living someone else’s life ehn? sha that “lagos life” I still don’t see what’s so intoxicating about it, just a bunch of unrealistic folks, blowing fone for each other, wearing $800 shoes in poto poto. What a sad thing to go broke over

Hi Ms Bella,Been a fan of your blog for a couple of months and I just want to give you ur props even though I know you know you are all that and then some. Really the blog never has a dull moment and that can onle be a testament to your personality. Here’s to a job well done. Cheers A Fan

lol i loved love loved this post… i remember giving advice to the breastina lady… sad that it hasn’t improved matters.. the other one shouldn’t get any pregnant oh.. it wont help by the way just noticed that you got comment moderation… chineke.. what has blogsville become sha?! i’m also glad mr. stingy has changed his ways sha… fantastic writeup as always bella mami.. take care of yourself…

lovely! lovely update. Miss B-Dilemna should should have bought breast boosters from La Senza. they really work !

Your self-esteem issues might get worse cos you might become very conscious of comestically enhanced breast and it can be bad.

Miss Trapped, take your husband credit card and head to Guess, RCW & Co, Maciano, aveeno spa and splurge on yourself. this will make him think before he speaks to you. No baby unless you are ready for one.

Bella, you need to do a feature on the importance of time. I was at a wedding this saturday. twas suppose to commence at 2pm. The groom showed up at 4pm bride came at 5pm. na wa ooo

I have learned a lot this morning. My fav had to be Ms cater to Me. Glad things worked out. Essence of effective communication can not be overemphasized in any relationship. Happy that things turned out good for ms fronting and ms Yoruba wahala. Everything definitely happens for a reason. Mr Torn… I don’t even know what to say to you. Player #10. Pray you don’t meet someone who will show you that other side of life.