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Tuesday, 19 November 2013

POPULAR LIBERTARIAN activist Jennifer Salisbury-Jones (JSJ) has sensationally stormed to victory at Bristol University NUS elections pledging to save Bristol students £50,000 for alcohol as rumours become rife about a potential glamorous Bristol Uni' celebrity party, tbg can reveal.

NUS cost to Bristol students

tbg asked JSJ how she plans on beginning to implement such ideas and policies, to which she replied that pushing for a referendum this year on NUS affiliation now had a clear mandate.

JSJ told tbg - "To stop wasting Bristol students money we have to disaffiliate from the NUS. With such clear dissatisfaction amongst the student body there is a clear mandate for a referendum later this year. I will be arguing that we would be better off out."

Sources have recently alerted tbg to rumours that all £50k will be spent on an exclusive celebrity party with grand ice statues with platters of posh oysters and muscles. JSJ exclusively told tbg - "Once we do (hopefully) disaffiliate, the fee will go on whatever Bristol students mandate the union to spend it on. This could mean a bigger society grant budget, more staff, better support for students unable to access activities, whatever. That is a debate for later. Let's get us out of the NUS first."