I suppose it’s some consolation to know that work-life balance is a worldwide issue. In our land of a million wannabe Donald Trumps, we tend to think that taking our jobs too seriously is a uniquely American phenomenon. Well, it turns out, being a sanctimonious jerk might just be what unites the world. Take Belgrade, for example, where two surgeons got in an argument during surgery.

I suppose it’s some consolation to know that work-life balance is a worldwide issue. In our land of a million wannabe Donald Trumps, we tend to think that taking our jobs too seriously is a uniquely American phenomenon. Well, it turns out, being a sanctimonious jerk might just be what unites the world. Take Belgrade, for example, where two surgeons got in an argument during surgery. They fought it out, and ended up leaving the room, while the guy having his appendix taken out lay there on the table hoping the toxic fluids weren’t draining into his left ventricle. (And, we assume, phoning whatever 800 number in Belgrade gets you the equivalent of Attorney Jim Sokolov.)

advertisement

advertisement

Sometimes, work-life balance gets so out of control that you need work-work balance. What those two feuding surgeons could have used was, say, a strong female role model standing on the sidelines going “oh, for God’s sake, you guys, why don’t you just whip it out and see whose is bigger and can we get on with the surgery!” Chances are, this dose of the truth, much like a fed-up mother breaking up a backyard fight, would have drawn these two power-mad freaks up short.

With this in mind, I’m thinking of starting a new employment agency.

I think I’ll call it W.C.M.O.T.B., or Women Calling Men on Their B.S. Ladies, it’s a win-win situation. You earn some extra income, and get to read the riot act to self-important numbskulls all day. And it’s not just the operating room where this could take hold. I could use you in the office, right when I’m losing it with a prickly client and I’ve thrown the phone across the room. There you’d be, over in the corner, curling your lip and shaking your head, saying Ooooh, I’m scared, look at the big man demonstrating his authority by acting out with misdirected rage! Pitiful!

And, for you high-maintenance businesswomen out there who may need your own mascot to keep you in check, I will keep a few enlightened men on hand to call you on your b.s. At the moment, I haven’t found any enlightened men, but from what I hear they turn up giving lectures on PBS fund drives every so often. Wayne Dyer, you’re limiting yourself. Let’s talk.

TOM STERN TOP THREE TAKEWAYS

advertisement

1.Or Deepak Chopra, maybe you could use a little career boost these days. Have your people call my people.
2.Hey, Maybe Dr. Phil could whip people into shape.
3.Or, if he’s not available, those gals from The View.