Frog and Toad Teach Linguistics

Found among the papers of Arnold Lobel by Keith Slater
Illustrated by Kean Kaufmann

Frog was sitting in his office. He looked at his watch. He saw that it was 10:00. “This is a fine time for a morning coffee,” said Frog. “I will invite Toad to join me in the faculty lounge.”

Toad was working at his desk. He noticed the clock. It was 10:00. “I think this is a good time to drink coffee,” said Toad. “I will ask Frog to go with me to the faculty lounge.”

Frog and Toad met in the hallway. They were happy. They went to the faculty lounge together.

The coffee pot was empty.

Toad glanced at Frog and said, “Frog, I am afraid that one of your phonology graduate students has drunk our faculty coffee.” Frog looked at Toad and said, “No, Toad, I am sure that one of your syntax graduate students has finished our coffee.”

“No you are not, Toad,” said Frog. “It says here on the department bulletin board that you are teaching Transformational Syntax.”

“Blah!” said Toad. “I did not know that. No wonder my students have been doing so badly.”

“Toad,” said Frog, “I have an idea. I will give phonology lectures in your syntax class, and you will give historical linguistics lectures in my phonology class. I do not think the graduate students will know the difference.”

“I am sure you are right, Frog,” said Toad, “but I have a different idea. Let us stop giving lectures and spend our mornings drinking coffee instead. I do not think the graduate students will mind at all.”

And that is what they did. They were two good friends, retired from teaching linguistics, drinking coffee together.

Spaghetti or Lasagna for Linguists—LSA Committee on Comestibles in Linguistics