Leonard: I'm not going to make a fake appointment with a psychiatrist. What would I say is wrong with me?Koothrappali: Low self esteem.Howard: Social anxiety.Sheldon: Sexual insecurity.Leonard: None of that is true.Penny: Denial. See sweetie, the list goes on and on.

Gallo: I'm curious. Are you related to Dr. Beverly Hofstadter?Leonard: She's my mother. Do you know her?Gallo: Not personally, but I have read all of her books.Leonard: Then you know her better than I do.Gallo: Well I'm not so sure about that. But I can tell you I do not agree with her theories on child rearing at all.Leonard: Really. Any chance you find them cold, cruel and unsuitable for Innocent little boys who just want to be happy?Gallo: Well, I didn't want to say it...Leonard: No, say it! Say it! Rent a plane, write it in the sky.

Leonard: Do you know she never let me celebrate my birthday because being born was her achievement, not mine? Gallo: That's heart-breaking.Leonard: Right? To this day I send her a card every year with a little money in it.

Howard: Like when you were going to make that pie, Stuart ate all the blueberries...Bernadette: He tried to deny it but his teeth were all purple.Howard: That was pretty cute.Bernadette: Yeah. Bernadette: Ew, we are missing him!

Gallo: Here is a man raised by an overbearing woman who completely dominated every aspect of his formative years. Do you think he's perpetuating that relationship by seeking out a partner like you?Penny: You know, I used to wear tank tops a lot. That was a big selling point.

Penny: How can I not sound like his mother when our entire bedroom is filled with Star Wars toys? I mean have you ever had sex with a stuffed Wookie watching you?Gallo: I went to college in the 70's. It was a hairier time. I'm going to say yes.

Amy: I'm just... really nervous.Sheldon: Why?Amy: I've been waiting for this for so long. I've just built it up in my head. I don't know what to expect. Sheldon: Neither do I. But... we can find out together.

Sheldon: Not that, I understand the mechanics. Professor Proton: Oh, good, good. Because I have no idea what kids these days are calling their, their parts.Sheldon: I think they say "junk."Professor Proton: What is happening to this world?

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Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.