Romney Promises to Eliminate All Taxes

Romney took his conservative economic policies to a new extreme today. At a campaign rally in Phoenix, AZ he promised an enthusiastic group of supporters that if elected, he would do everything in his power to end all taxes.

The promise struck even some conservative supporters as a bit unrealistic. When asked if he really intended to eliminate every single US tax, he confirmed, "Yes, I mean all taxes. Income tax, sales tax, investment taxes, federal and state taxes, and investment taxes. Especially investment taxes."

When asked how he would fund the military without any taxes, Romney looked annoyed but then immediately responded, "Well, as a last resort, soldiers can always ask their parents for a loan, right?"

Romney went on to explain that he understood major sacrifices would have to be made by many Americans. "But freedom," he said, "is worth it!"

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