Thats why you put a mockup of the Tardis on your lawn with a hidden remote activated speaker. For ghosts a notice on the door reading. “Abandon all hope Ye who enter here. We will be watching Nicholas Cage in The Wicker Man Several Rob Zombie Movies and The NonMST3K version of Manos Hands of Fate followed by nonstop Bavarian Polka.”

And Then you put more Traditional Jack O Lanterns in your bedroom and toilet