Periodically, one goes through periods of deep metaphysical malaise. You look around at the world, wondering how such evil could flourish and such suffering could endure. You descend deeper into darkness, your faith in humanity waning, wondering why we were ever born into this cruel world. Then, suddenly, you realize that somebody has written a programming language based off of the dialect of Lolcats/Cat Macros, and your faith in humanity’s inherent good is completely restored.

Indeed. Breathes there a soul so dead, whose spiritual batteries are not recharged by reading

IZ VAR LESSER THAN 0 O RLY?
YA RLY
HALP "Var is too little!"!
KTHX

So far, no one seems to have taken up the challenge to create an object-oriented lolcode ("lolcode++"?) or a functional lolcode ("lolcaml"?), but I'm not certain of my ability to track memetic evolution as we approach the lolsingularity.

[THX to approximately ℵ0 readers.]

[Update -- Chris Casinghino writes:

I saw your post about lolcode today. While I don't know of a complete
functional language in this vein, you might enjoy this recent post to
one of the Haskell mailing lists, which defines what might be called
a lolmonad: