WWYD?! He’s Just Not That Into You

Welcome to WWYD?! Wednesday, where we discuss real life parenting issues (big or small) our readers are facing and ask for YOUR comments with advice, experience, information or any helpful tips you might have. It takes a village people. Seriously. Sometimes just one voice in the village can make a difference. You could be that voice today. Can you help?

Today’s topic: preschool playground problems

My reader’s son is getting some unsolicited attention from the girls at school. And girls, unfortunately I hate to break it to you, but he’s just not that into you.

Read more about it here…

“There are a few girls at my son’s preschool that really want to play with him.

After school many kids stay to play, and my son and his boy buddies typically play boy type games. Guns, chase, monsters, etc… and he has NO interest at all in playing with the girls.

School is his only place where he gets to hang with his buddies after school without his sister and her friends. He’s around girls all of the time, and I think he likes his boy time.

These girls follow him around until he gets mad and pushes them. I tell these girls to not play with him. I tell him to walk away from them, but they continue to follow him around.

I don’t feel I should have to make him include the girls but I feel a strong vibe I am unliked because of this. That does not bother me, but I don’t want him to get pushed to the point of getting mad at them and lashing out. I don’t know what to do! Help!”

What would you all do?!

WWYD?! Please comment below and help a mama out!

Do you have a current parenting issue you would be interested to hear what others would do in your situation?

Email jennifer@tinyoranges.com or message me on Facebook or Twitter and it might be featured on an upcoming WWYD?! post (and don’t worry, it will be kept anonymous!!)

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Hope you enjoyedthis post!

What do you say to your son when he responds with pushing? Your question has a lot of “boys will be boys” red flags “boy type games” (and guns – eek! in preschool?!). You don’t have any control over other children, and it seems very disrespectful for you to try to tell the girls anything. You do have control over your own son, and you have a great opportunity to teach him how to express himself (“I don’t like it when you follow me.”) and how to be a better communicator (“We are playing chase right now. You can play chase if you life, but if you don’t want to play chase, will you please give us some space.”

I like looking at it as a teaching opportunity on how to express himself, and although we would like to, I agree, we can’t control other kids, so true, so the focus should be on how he handles it.

February 12, 2015

3

Lisa says:

I think the girls’ parents should tell the girls not to chase your son. And you should tell your son not to never lay a hand on a girl (which I assume you do). If everyone does the right thing, the problem would be solved. That goes for ALL problems! Ha!

Agreed…using better communication is always a key to these sintuitions. Teaching him to use words, not his body. We went through something similar with my son and reiterated the “NO BIG DEAL” approach. Teaching him to shake something off. It seemed to get us through a really rough patch. I would also talk to the teachers about what is happening and if they can keep an eye on it and talk to the girls if it is persistent.

Here are my two cents, for whatever it might be worth! I think # 1 the pushing has to be first on the list to nip int the bud. Physical expression of anger I think in small kids is due to a lack of being able to express themselves verbally. I would give him a few sentences to use as his “armor” when he gets frustrated with them.

I also think a lot of this could be due to the negative attention the girls might be receiving from him. You know how it can fun it can be for kids to try to ruffle someone’s feathers and watch their reaction? That might be the case. They obviously know it bugs him, so they probably enjoy the response. Maybe have him try ignoring them as a possible tool to see if it makes it less “fun” for the girls?

As a last resort, it might be time to have a meet up spot for just the boys after school off the property, maybe at another nearby park to avoid the issue altogether!

February 12, 2015

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