Northern Iraq, 2008. This female finance gal pal and I are going at in one of the incoming bunkers that dotted the airfield when sure as shit the Iraqis decide its an excellent time to chuck rockets at the new guys unloading from the plane. Needless to say we suddenly had a lot of company in a tiny bunker. And what does said gal pal say to the new arrivals without missing a beat? "Welcome to Mosul, no this isn't the USO."

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`Why did I work in the garage all day? Cause I'm retired now, #$%&* off. Could you hand me that level?`

When my daughters can date they will have advanced spy camera technology enough that I will have GPS, real time drone coverage, sat video uplink with high end audio pick up mics. Possibly anti cop a fuel electrical defense grids too. Or I will just buy a Trunk Monkey.

"She is mine, in totality. She knows it. Accepts it. Submits her very self to just know it. She has no beginning or end, she embraces his existence and that is her existence." - Sir Walter J. Singleton

Location: Lately, I wondered about that... but I think I am getting closer

Posts: 2,651

Quote:

Originally Posted by tennman79

Thanking her we left still wondering about her laughing.After tucking the children in we began undressing in our room.We both spotted the reason for the odd laughter,Breaking up laughing we noticed that in my wife's hurry to get dressed in the dark that she had put on her jean's INSIDE OUT

I have so many, I don't know where to start. Oh wait, sure I do: getting caught by my lover's mother.

My girlfriend was in my lap going at it hard and didn't hear her mother enter the house. I saw her but said nothing, knowing that either way -- ending now or after I/we came -- my lover was going to be embarrassed, so I might as well get my jollies.

The awkward part was that the mother had entered the kitchen, passing the open hallway, before she realized we were fucking just fifteen feet away, and couldn't get out of the room without possibly being seen or heard by me. (She didn't know that I'd already seen her, of course.) So, she stayed there until I got done fucking her loud, excitable daughter and we went to her bathroom to shower and dress.

I talked to the mom about it years later when I became a bartender at the Moose Lodge of which she was a member. We were able to laugh about it then. I even made a half ass play for the mom (cuz I'd never had a mother daughter pair and the mother was still attractive), but she was happily married. Too bad, so sad.

Oh and since this is a subject very dear to me and close to my heart, would you ladies please visit the Blowjob Questionnaire and leave your contribution... No I didn't start that thread but should have

To my enemies I say - stay close to me. To my friends - I set you free...

Oh and since this is a subject very dear to me and close to my heart, would you ladies please visit the Blowjob Questionnaire and leave your contribution... No I didn't start that thread but should have

To my enemies I say - stay close to me. To my friends - I set you free...

When I was in the service, I met a gal in a tavern, flirted, and made plans to go home with her. She said she had to leave first, to keep the locals -- who knew her well -- from knowing she was going to be a one night stand.

Of course, I didn't realize she was going home to send the sitter away and make sure her kid was sound asleep. She said absolutely nothing to me about it.

I was down on her when I thought I heard a tiny voice. My lover simply said in between her moans, "Go to bed honey, I'll come tuck you in in a minute." I lift my head to see her 3 year old standing in the door staring at us. OMG, really?

I was so embarrassed, but then we just laughed about it for I don't know how long. She tucked her kid in, we finished, went to sleep, had breakfast the next morning -- with her kid, of course -- and I went on with my life.

(She was the first "mother" I'd ever been with, so I really didn't know the signs to look for, like toys or pics or tiny shoes lying about. I probably wouldn't have noticed them anyway, as I was in quite a hurry to get her into bed.)

My girlfriend had been out of the country for a couple of weeks on a college trip and was finally coming home. I rented a hotel room in the only hotel in the little shitty town she went to school in. The same day, they were having a wrestling tournament at one of the local schools and a team was staying at the hotel as well. My lady finally made it to the room and spent some time showering and freshing up and then it was go time. We're in bed getting all warmed up and she looked up and said we should lock the door. Fuck the door, I said. I'm working my magic here. So, I start going down on her and eating pussy like it was going out of style. She's squirming and moaning in ecstasy when we hear some coaches and kids walking around outside our door. Next thing I know, one of the coaches opens up our door and walks in thinking it was his room. I imagine all he saw was my hairy ass up in the air and my face buried in my girl's snatch and he quickly realized he was in the wrong room. All he said was, "oh shit, wrong room", then ran the fuck out closing the door behind him. It took us a few minutes to soak in what just happened because we were totally stunned that we got walked in on. After we laughed for a good while, I got up, locked the door, and then we resumed our sexual olympics.

Oh and since this is a subject very dear to me and close to my heart, would you ladies please visit the Blowjob Questionnaire and leave your contribution... No I didn't start that thread but should have

To my enemies I say - stay close to me. To my friends - I set you free...

Ok...I got one for you, was having some fun with my favorite woman in mid winter, and her cat came in from the cold. That damn cat came and stuck his cold nose right on my ball sack. Damn what a shock, not to say the lady getting almost poked threw the wall!

Worst was in the middle of the act itself.....accidentally called her by my ex's name. Without missing a beat, she tightened down and very calmly told me if I ever called her that again she would break it off. Never used a girls real name again. That was almost 20 years ago.

Had a girl over to my place and she was all about me filling her up with multiple loads. Fucked her for hours and came inside her three times, making her come at least twice. Got sloppy near the end but after her riding me to my last orgasm she climbed off and was about to walk to the bathroom for a shower when gravity and air pressure took over. Massive queef with all the remaing cum fired out onto my floor. It sounded like a shotgun filled with water. Wobbly legged she wandered away giggling and when I looked down I saw she had been standing over a magazine I'd purchased while we were out. Soaked through and I hadn't even read any of it yet.

1)She had a cat which would hop on to the bed and poke or scratch i one of us wanting to be petted first time this happned it was funny but then on we would usually do it under the covers so we could kick the cat if it jumped on the bed..

2)once during a Sunday we assumed her hippie room mate was at work since it was very quite..turns out he was smoking pot in the basement and wanted tocheck on the cat when he heard some noise... ever saw him after this incident but I doubt if he remembers it as I was told he had a thing for me...glad I moved away from that city now...

My first girlfriend and I were getting a little experimental in my room one summer, when my little brother walks in without knocking and catches her with her face somewhere he never knew possible, let alone on his sister. He then proceeds to run, wide eyed, to tell my conservative grandmother that I was "making nasty with another girl." The then girlfriend didn't leave my room until everyone was asleep, we were both so mortified.

My exboyfriend and I always used to like to tempt fate and get busy in places we knew we shouldn't. One afternoon, we're walking along a local hiking trail, and we decide that seeing as how no one else is out on the trails on that particular day, it would be okay to get just barely off the trail and screw. Lo and behold, just as we're getting to the good part, a group of freshman from the high school come waltzing around the trail and spot us. The best part? Out of all the rumors that came out of that day, only one thing was right - he had layed out a Pokemon sheet for us.

This isn't sex related per se, but the funniest thing to ever happen to me has got to be the time my then boyfriend and I were wrestling on my bed, and I somehow, by some magical gift from the breast deity, managed to nearly break his nose with my tits.