my dad was a total Authoritarian father.. but when i tell him this, he blames me for everything, never accepts anything.. he gives me examples of his friends whose parents were far more strict and harsh.. am i to soley blame for all the problems i have in my life?? im confused!!

So many seem to throw the baby out with the bath water these days! There’s nothing wrong with ruling the home as adults are in charge. Because you are. You should be at least because you need to be able to manipulate certain behaviors in your children and influence their decisions, like training wheels where eventually they’ll be soaring on their own. Whether you spank (there’s an appropriate age range here), remove them from the situation to sit and think alone with no toys, or garnish privileges, that is great and highly recommended as you’re teaching immediate consequences for actions. However, once you dish this out, you HAVE to talk about the incident.

Participatory lectures are highly underrated. Have a discussion back and forth about it. Share your experiences of being a craphead child once too, then discuss how this behavior can effect them now and later in life. Get them to see reason, logic, empathy etc. And if the child is still defensive, don’t engage in the talk until you can break the defense system, or until they have disarmed themselves.

There is no 1 perfect title for parenting styles. Near perfect lies somewhere in the midst of ALL of them.

I’m more of Totalitarian parent, But I’m more intelligent about it. See I watch there Every move, there isn’t a thing that they do that I don’t know about…Yes, I spy on them. I’ve track there phone, I know what they watch on the computer, I know where they are when they’re at there “Friends house”, I go through there stuff while there at school. There is NO Freedom in my household, there is only the illusion of Freedom. This is how I govern my Home and My Family. Knowledge is power.

I was grounded and spanked growing up. As an adult, I have respect for authority and elders (I believe this to be paramount)! I married a wonderful, respectful, and kind-hearted woman. I went on to get a college diploma. I owe it all to authoritarian parenting. While love is important, discipline, obedience, and respect is what I will be teaching my children the most. This will produce diligent students, respectful adults, and wonderful life partners. I’ve been told that authoritarian parenting causes depression. I am proof that this is an outright lie!!! Those who don’t raise their kids this way will find them in situations like that “Cash Me” girl from Dr. Phil. Authoritarianism is love.

I grew up like this and I can tell you I had the worst self esteem, I now have anxiety disorder and depression, I can’t hold down a job and am always in desperate need of reassurance. If you are a parent, PLEASE DON’T BE LIKE THIS.

The worst part about this style of parenting is that the kids don’t learn to be decent for the sake of being decent, they learn to be decent only when they are afraid of being punished if they are not.

Because of them, it makes me feel as if it’d be better if I just commit suicide.

It hurts so much to just be me.

They never love me for who I am.

They always compare me with other people.

They are judgemental and foolish.

I wish to cut my ties with them permanently once I’m financially and academically independent, so they won’t have a chance to make me miserable about my existence and presence again because I’ve had enough.