DEAR ABBY: My husband serves in the U.S. Army. I am a proud Army wife. Lately, more and more people are openly speaking out against the war in Iraq, as is their right. However, people are also speaking out against soldiers, and now, even their wives.

I was recently confronted by a message on MySpace. The writer, a woman, called Army wives everything in the book. I was heartbroken. She said we were all uneducated. (I have my degree in psychology.) She said we all just sit home and spend our husbands' money. I am a stay-at-home mom, but I do not ever get to sit.

She also stated that the Army paid us to have kids. This is not true, either. We do not get paid any more for having one child or seven. She said Army wives whine about missing their soldiers overseas and that it's not that dangerous – you could die from any job.

Not many wives outside the military have to go weeks without talking to their spouses and not knowing if they are OK. Jobs outside the military can be dangerous, yes, but people are not trying to harm them.

I just want people to know you can disagree with the war, with our leaders, with what happens in the world, but please do not group people together and look down on them. We military wives have it hard, but we keep things together the best we can. Our men fight for the rights some people take for granted. Please keep that in mind.

– Katrina in Fayetteville, N.C.

DEAR KATRINA: Although many people are against the war in Iraq, and it is their right to speak openly about it, that does not give anyone the right to scapegoat the wives of the people who are fighting there. Scapegoating any group reveals more about the ignorance of the person doing it than the target of the nastiness.

Just because something appears on the Internet does not mean that it is true or factual. There is a lot of misinformation floating around out there, and the statements you quoted in your letter are part of it.

I am pleased to help you get the message across. But please do not stop with me. Spread the word on any site you feel the need to – and that includes MySpace.

DEAR ABBY: My son is an adult alcoholic and drug addict. He recently got in trouble with the law, and ran before sentencing. He has one child. My son is in contact with me.

My friend said I should use tough love and not talk to him or send him money until he gets his act straightened out and comes and faces the music. He is staying with his child's mother.

What is your opinion? I don't know what to do. My health is not good. (I am on oxygen.) Please help me.

– Totally Lost in Pennsylvania

DEAR TOTALLY LOST: It is time your (adult) son grew up and accepted responsibility for his actions. Sending him money and hiding him from the law isn't really helping him, and it makes you an accessory to his crime. So please, listen to your friend and stop sending money – but do talk to him and let him know he cannot hide from the law forever, so it's time for him to come clean.

DEAR ABBY: Just a note to ask the people who make clothing to help the public by putting a “B” or an “N” for “black” or “navy” on the label.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to just glance at the label and know if it's black or blue? Hope this will come to pass.

– Charlotte in Mobile, Ala.

DEAR CHARLOTTE: You can make it come to pass. All you need to do is put a “B” or an “N” on the label of the garment with an indelible marking pen after you purchase it.

Send letters to Dear Abby in care of Currents, The San Diego Union-Tribune, P.O. Box 120191, San Diego, CA 92112-0191.