Female Journalist Finds Enormous Wood Penis on Her Car

It has veins and everything. How nice.

When Russian satirist Katya Romanovskaya walked outside to find a 200 pound, wooden penis chained to her car, she wasn't surprised (via The New Republic). (Insert your own "morning wood" joke here.) Romanovskaya and her partner, Arseny Bobrovsky, (known as "The Kermlins," a play on "Kremlin" which is the White House of Russia) are one of the few satirical political voices in Russia. Together, they run the Twitter account @KermlinRussia, which mocks a fictional Russian president, "Persident Roissi." So she has a few enemies.

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But this wiener stunt, while it seems like a diss to The Kermlins, actually completely backfired. It's gotten Romanovskaya a lot of media attention and, believe it or not, the penis was the work of a pro-Kremlin youth group that likely used government backing and funds. Let that sink in for a moment. Government money went towards crafting an ornate wooden penis. The thing has veins on it and everything. The best part of this story? Romanovskaya was unsure of what to do with the phallus, until a man who collects dick sculptures offered to buy it off of her.