Colonoscopy

I got one coming up Apr. 11th....a friend of mine told me about the one he had in San Francisco...

Being nervous, and embarrassed about my upcoming colonoscopy on a recommendation I decided to have it done while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly more gentle and accommodating.

As I lay naked on my side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began my procedure.

"Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection," the nurse told me.

Last time I had a colonoscopy was in a clinic at a hospital. That was totally different from previous others where I was seen in an office someplace.

When I came to after it was over and I started to sound a little bit coherent, the doctor walked in to tell me what they usually do afterward. But this time he didn't. (Also unlike previous times, my wife was sitting next to the bed.)

He started going over things, then said, "Did anybody ever tell you you have a long colon?"

Still goofy, I said, "I bet you say that to all the boys." That was when my wife hit me.

After that what they did to me to get to where his scope wouldn't reach might have been worse than having a colonoscopy done in San Fransicko.

_________________Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore it.-- Thomas Sowell

They took me to another place where I had to lay on a table on my side while they inflated me innards to do some scans. The doctor joked when he told me about it that I needed to make sure I found an elevator after it was over because I was going to be passing a lot of gas.

Sounds easy enough. But the reality was it was extremely painful and I was wide awake the whole time. I had pain in places I don't think I'd ever felt anything before. All I'll say on how they did it is imagine how they would go about inflating somebody's colon and intestines. That should be plenty to understand what they had to do. As for pain, it felt like they released about half of one of those big helium tanks to do the inflation. I don't know how much they really used. And it wasn't helium. But I can tell you it was awful. It got worse as the minutes passed, too, and the gas shifted around to open up various places.

Next time I need a real doctor. None of the others seemed to have a problem getting where they needed to, and I sure don't want to go through that again.

_________________Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore it.-- Thomas Sowell

Don't go to SanFrisco for a colonoscopy because of shemales, don't go to Indianapolis to get a prostate lasering because they measure progress with a baseball bat, or if you go for a colonscopy and the conversation turns to how far up your insides your colon lives then run.

Close?

_________________Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore it.-- Thomas Sowell

I got all my supplies ready for Mon. prep...This time I got plenty of toilet paper...I wasn't prepared last time, and it aint fun running out of T.P. and having to use paper towels...Kinda rough on the ole behind...if ya know what I mean...