Chapter 12 - A Cave Retreat

WHILE this was doing, I was not altogether careless of my other
affairs; for I had a great concern upon me for my little herd of
goats: they were not only a ready supply to me on every occasion,
and began to be sufficient for me, without the expense of powder
and shot, but also without the fatigue of hunting after the wild
ones; and I was loath to lose the advantage of them, and to have
them all to nurse up over again.

For this purpose, after long consideration, I could think of but
two ways to preserve them: one was, to find another convenient
place to dig a cave underground, and to drive them into it every
night; and the other was to enclose two or three little bits of
land, remote from one another, and as much concealed as I could,
where I might keep about half-a-dozen young goats in each place; so
that if any disaster happened to the flock in general, I might be
able to raise them again with little trouble and time: and this
though it would require a good deal of time and labour, I thought
was the most rational design.

Accordingly, I spent some time to find out the most retired parts
of the island; and I pitched upon one, which was as private,
indeed, as my heart could wish: it was a little damp piece of
ground in the middle of the hollow and thick woods, where, as is
observed, I almost lost myself once before, endeavouring to come
back that way from the eastern part of the island. Here I found a
clear piece of land, near three acres, so surrounded with woods
that it was almost an enclosure by nature; at least, it did not
want near so much labour to make it so as the other piece of ground
I had worked so hard at.

I immediately went to work with this piece of ground; and in less
than a month's time I had so fenced it round that my flock, or
herd, call it which you please, which were not so wild now as at
first they might be supposed to be, were well enough secured in it:
so, without any further delay, I removed ten young she-goats and
two he-goats to this piece, and when they were there I continued to
perfect the fence till I had made it as secure as the other; which,
however, I did at more leisure, and it took me up more time by a
great deal. All this labour I was at the expense of, purely from
my apprehensions on account of the print of a man's foot; for as
yet I had never seen any human creature come near the island; and I
had now lived two years under this uneasiness, which, indeed, made
my life much less comfortable than it was before, as may be well
imagined by any who know what it is to live in the constant snare
of the fear of man. And this I must observe, with grief, too, that
the discomposure of my mind had great impression also upon the
religious part of my thoughts; for the dread and terror of falling
into the hands of savages and cannibals lay so upon my spirits,
that I seldom found myself in a due temper for application to my
Maker; at least, not with the sedate calmness and resignation of
soul which I was wont to do: I rather prayed to God as under great
affliction and pressure of mind, surrounded with danger, and in
expectation every night of being murdered and devoured before
morning; and I must testify, from my experience, that a temper of
peace, thankfulness, love, and affection, is much the more proper
frame for prayer than that of terror and discomposure: and that
under the dread of mischief impending, a man is no more fit for a
comforting performance of the duty of praying to God than he is for
a repentance on a sick-bed; for these discomposures affect the
mind, as the others do the body; and the discomposure of the mind
must necessarily be as great a disability as that of the body, and
much greater; praying to God being properly an act of the mind, not
of the body.

But to go on. After I had thus secured one part of my little
living stock, I went about the whole island, searching for another
private place to make such another deposit; when, wandering more to
the west point of the island than I had ever done yet, and looking
out to sea, I thought I saw a boat upon the sea, at a great
distance. I had found a perspective glass or two in one of the
seamen's chests, which I saved out of our ship, but I had it not
about me; and this was so remote that I could not tell what to make
of it, though I looked at it till my eyes were not able to hold to
look any longer; whether it was a boat or not I do not know, but as
I descended from the hill I could see no more of it, so I gave it
over; only I resolved to go no more out without a perspective glass
in my pocket. When I was come down the hill to the end of the
island, where, indeed, I had never been before, I was presently
convinced that the seeing the print of a man's foot was not such a
strange thing in the island as I imagined: and but that it was a
special providence that I was cast upon the side of the island
where the savages never came, I should easily have known that
nothing was more frequent than for the canoes from the main, when
they happened to be a little too far out at sea, to shoot over to
that side of the island for harbour: likewise, as they often met
and fought in their canoes, the victors, having taken any
prisoners, would bring them over to this shore, where, according to
their dreadful customs, being all cannibals, they would kill and
eat them; of which hereafter.

When I was come down the hill to the shore, as I said above, being
the SW. point of the island, I was perfectly confounded and amazed;
nor is it possible for me to express the horror of my mind at
seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands, feet, and other bones
of human bodies; and particularly I observed a place where there
had been a fire made, and a circle dug in the earth, like a
cockpit, where I supposed the savage wretches had sat down to their
human feastings upon the bodies of their fellow-creatures.

I was so astonished with the sight of these things, that I
entertained no notions of any danger to myself from it for a long
while: all my apprehensions were buried in the thoughts of such a
pitch of inhuman, hellish brutality, and the horror of the
degeneracy of human nature, which, though I had heard of it often,
yet I never had so near a view of before; in short, I turned away
my face from the horrid spectacle; my stomach grew sick, and I was
just at the point of fainting, when nature discharged the disorder
from my stomach; and having vomited with uncommon violence, I was a
little relieved, but could not bear to stay in the place a moment;
so I got up the hill again with all the speed I could, and walked
on towards my own habitation.

When I came a little out of that part of the island I stood still
awhile, as amazed, and then, recovering myself, I looked up with
the utmost affection of my soul, and, with a flood of tears in my
eyes, gave God thanks, that had cast my first lot in a part of the
world where I was distinguished from such dreadful creatures as
these; and that, though I had esteemed my present condition very
miserable, had yet given me so many comforts in it that I had still
more to give thanks for than to complain of: and this, above all,
that I had, even in this miserable condition, been comforted with
the knowledge of Himself, and the hope of His blessing: which was a
felicity more than sufficiently equivalent to all the misery which
I had suffered, or could suffer.

In this frame of thankfulness I went home to my castle, and began
to be much easier now, as to the safety of my circumstances, than
ever I was before: for I observed that these wretches never came to
this island in search of what they could get; perhaps not seeking,
not wanting, or not expecting anything here; and having often, no
doubt, been up the covered, woody part of it without finding
anything to their purpose. I knew I had been here now almost
eighteen years, and never saw the least footsteps of human creature
there before; and I might be eighteen years more as entirely
concealed as I was now, if I did not discover myself to them, which
I had no manner of occasion to do; it being my only business to
keep myself entirely concealed where I was, unless I found a better
sort of creatures than cannibals to make myself known to. Yet I
entertained such an abhorrence of the savage wretches that I have
been speaking of, and of the wretched, inhuman custom of their
devouring and eating one another up, that I continued pensive and
sad, and kept close within my own circle for almost two years after
this: when I say my own circle, I mean by it my three plantations -
viz. my castle, my country seat (which I called my bower), and my
enclosure in the woods: nor did I look after this for any other use
than an enclosure for my goats; for the aversion which nature gave
me to these hellish wretches was such, that I was as fearful of
seeing them as of seeing the devil himself. I did not so much as
go to look after my boat all this time, but began rather to think
of making another; for I could not think of ever making any more
attempts to bring the other boat round the island to me, lest I
should meet with some of these creatures at sea; in which case, if
I had happened to have fallen into their hands, I knew what would
have been my lot.

Time, however, and the satisfaction I had that I was in no danger
of being discovered by these people, began to wear off my
uneasiness about them; and I began to live just in the same
composed manner as before, only with this difference, that I used
more caution, and kept my eyes more about me than I did before,
lest I should happen to be seen by any of them; and particularly, I
was more cautious of firing my gun, lest any of them, being on the
island, should happen to hear it. It was, therefore, a very good
providence to me that I had furnished myself with a tame breed of
goats, and that I had no need to hunt any more about the woods, or
shoot at them; and if I did catch any of them after this, it was by
traps and snares, as I had done before; so that for two years after
this I believe I never fired my gun once off, though I never went
out without it; and what was more, as I had saved three pistols out
of the ship, I always carried them out with me, or at least two of
them, sticking them in my goat-skin belt. I also furbished up one
of the great cutlasses that I had out of the ship, and made me a
belt to hang it on also; so that I was now a most formidable fellow
to look at when I went abroad, if you add to the former description
of myself the particular of two pistols, and a broadsword hanging
at my side in a belt, but without a scabbard.

Things going on thus, as I have said, for some time, I seemed,
excepting these cautions, to be reduced to my former calm, sedate
way of living. All these things tended to show me more and more
how far my condition was from being miserable, compared to some
others; nay, to many other particulars of life which it might have
pleased God to have made my lot. It put me upon reflecting how
little repining there would be among mankind at any condition of
life if people would rather compare their condition with those that
were worse, in order to be thankful, than be always comparing them
with those which are better, to assist their murmurings and
complainings.

As in my present condition there were not really many things which
I wanted, so indeed I thought that the frights I had been in about
these savage wretches, and the concern I had been in for my own
preservation, had taken off the edge of my invention, for my own
conveniences; and I had dropped a good design, which I had once
bent my thoughts upon, and that was to try if I could not make some
of my barley into malt, and then try to brew myself some beer.
This was really a whimsical thought, and I reproved myself often
for the simplicity of it: for I presently saw there would be the
want of several things necessary to the making my beer that it
would be impossible for me to supply; as, first, casks to preserve
it in, which was a thing that, as I have observed already, I could
never compass: no, though I spent not only many days, but weeks,
nay months, in attempting it, but to no purpose. In the next
place, I had no hops to make it keep, no yeast to made it work, no
copper or kettle to make it boil; and yet with all these things
wanting, I verily believe, had not the frights and terrors I was in
about the savages intervened, I had undertaken it, and perhaps
brought it to pass too; for I seldom gave anything over without
accomplishing it, when once I had it in my head to began it. But
my invention now ran quite another way; for night and day I could
think of nothing but how I might destroy some of the monsters in
their cruel, bloody entertainment, and if possible save the victim
they should bring hither to destroy. It would take up a larger
volume than this whole work is intended to be to set down all the
contrivances I hatched, or rather brooded upon, in my thoughts, for
the destroying these creatures, or at least frightening them so as
to prevent their coming hither any more: but all this was abortive;
nothing could be possible to take effect, unless I was to be there
to do it myself: and what could one man do among them, when perhaps
there might be twenty or thirty of them together with their darts,
or their bows and arrows, with which they could shoot as true to a
mark as I could with my gun?

Sometimes I thought if digging a hole under the place where they
made their fire, and putting in five or six pounds of gunpowder,
which, when they kindled their fire, would consequently take fire,
and blow up all that was near it: but as, in the first place, I
should be unwilling to waste so much powder upon them, my store
being now within the quantity of one barrel, so neither could I be
sure of its going off at any certain time, when it might surprise
them; and, at best, that it would do little more than just blow the
fire about their ears and fright them, but not sufficient to make
them forsake the place: so I laid it aside; and then proposed that
I would place myself in ambush in some convenient place, with my
three guns all double-loaded, and in the middle of their bloody
ceremony let fly at them, when I should be sure to kill or wound
perhaps two or three at every shot; and then falling in upon them
with my three pistols and my sword, I made no doubt but that, if
there were twenty, I should kill them all. This fancy pleased my
thoughts for some weeks, and I was so full of it that I often
dreamed of it, and, sometimes, that I was just going to let fly at
them in my sleep. I went so far with it in my imagination that I
employed myself several days to find out proper places to put
myself in ambuscade, as I said, to watch for them, and I went
frequently to the place itself, which was now grown more familiar
to me; but while my mind was thus filled with thoughts of revenge
and a bloody putting twenty or thirty of them to the sword, as I
may call it, the horror I had at the place, and at the signals of
the barbarous wretches devouring one another, abetted my malice.
Well, at length I found a place in the side of the hill where I was
satisfied I might securely wait till I saw any of their boats
coming; and might then, even before they would be ready to come on
shore, convey myself unseen into some thickets of trees, in one of
which there was a hollow large enough to conceal me entirely; and
there I might sit and observe all their bloody doings, and take my
full aim at their heads, when they were so close together as that
it would be next to impossible that I should miss my shot, or that
I could fail wounding three or four of them at the first shot. In
this place, then, I resolved to fulfil my design; and accordingly I
prepared two muskets and my ordinary fowling-piece. The two
muskets I loaded with a brace of slugs each, and four or five
smaller bullets, about the size of pistol bullets; and the fowling-
piece I loaded with near a handful of swan-shot of the largest
size; I also loaded my pistols with about four bullets each; and,
in this posture, well provided with ammunition for a second and
third charge, I prepared myself for my expedition.

After I had thus laid the scheme of my design, and in my
imagination put it in practice, I continually made my tour every
morning to the top of the hill, which was from my castle, as I
called it, about three miles or more, to see if I could observe any
boats upon the sea, coming near the island, or standing over
towards it; but I began to tire of this hard duty, after I had for
two or three months constantly kept my watch, but came always back
without any discovery; there having not, in all that time, been the
least appearance, not only on or near the shore, but on the whole
ocean, so far as my eye or glass could reach every way.

As long as I kept my daily tour to the hill, to look out, so long
also I kept up the vigour of my design, and my spirits seemed to be
all the while in a suitable frame for so outrageous an execution as
the killing twenty or thirty naked savages, for an offence which I
had not at all entered into any discussion of in my thoughts, any
farther than my passions were at first fired by the horror I
conceived at the unnatural custom of the people of that country,
who, it seems, had been suffered by Providence, in His wise
disposition of the world, to have no other guide than that of their
own abominable and vitiated passions; and consequently were left,
and perhaps had been so for some ages, to act such horrid things,
and receive such dreadful customs, as nothing but nature, entirely
abandoned by Heaven, and actuated by some hellish degeneracy, could
have run them into. But now, when, as I have said, I began to be
weary of the fruitless excursion which I had made so long and so
far every morning in vain, so my opinion of the action itself began
to alter; and I began, with cooler and calmer thoughts, to consider
what I was going to engage in; what authority or call I had to
pretend to be judge and executioner upon these men as criminals,
whom Heaven had thought fit for so many ages to suffer unpunished
to go on, and to be as it were the executioners of His judgments
one upon another; how far these people were offenders against me,
and what right I had to engage in the quarrel of that blood which
they shed promiscuously upon one another. I debated this very
often with myself thus: "How do I know what God Himself judges in
this particular case? It is certain these people do not commit
this as a crime; it is not against their own consciences reproving,
or their light reproaching them; they do not know it to be an
offence, and then commit it in defiance of divine justice, as we do
in almost all the sins we commit. They think it no more a crime to
kill a captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox; or to eat
human flesh than we do to eat mutton."

When I considered this a little, it followed necessarily that I was
certainly in the wrong; that these people were not murderers, in
the sense that I had before condemned them in my thoughts, any more
than those Christians were murderers who often put to death the
prisoners taken in battle; or more frequently, upon many occasions,
put whole troops of men to the sword, without giving quarter,
though they threw down their arms and submitted. In the next
place, it occurred to me that although the usage they gave one
another was thus brutish and inhuman, yet it was really nothing to
me: these people had done me no injury: that if they attempted, or
I saw it necessary, for my immediate preservation, to fall upon
them, something might be said for it: but that I was yet out of
their power, and they really had no knowledge of me, and
consequently no design upon me; and therefore it could not be just
for me to fall upon them; that this would justify the conduct of
the Spaniards in all their barbarities practised in America, where
they destroyed millions of these people; who, however they were
idolators and barbarians, and had several bloody and barbarous
rites in their customs, such as sacrificing human bodies to their
idols, were yet, as to the Spaniards, very innocent people; and
that the rooting them out of the country is spoken of with the
utmost abhorrence and detestation by even the Spaniards themselves
at this time, and by all other Christian nations of Europe, as a
mere butchery, a bloody and unnatural piece of cruelty,
unjustifiable either to God or man; and for which the very name of
a Spaniard is reckoned to be frightful and terrible, to all people
of humanity or of Christian compassion; as if the kingdom of Spain
were particularly eminent for the produce of a race of men who were
without principles of tenderness, or the common bowels of pity to
the miserable, which is reckoned to be a mark of generous temper in
the mind.

These considerations really put me to a pause, and to a kind of a
full stop; and I began by little and little to be off my design,
and to conclude I had taken wrong measures in my resolution to
attack the savages; and that it was not my business to meddle with
them, unless they first attacked me; and this it was my business,
if possible, to prevent: but that, if I were discovered and
attacked by them, I knew my duty. On the other hand, I argued with
myself that this really was the way not to deliver myself, but
entirely to ruin and destroy myself; for unless I was sure to kill
every one that not only should be on shore at that time, but that
should ever come on shore afterwards, if but one of them escaped to
tell their country-people what had happened, they would come over
again by thousands to revenge the death of their fellows, and I
should only bring upon myself a certain destruction, which, at
present, I had no manner of occasion for. Upon the whole, I
concluded that I ought, neither in principle nor in policy, one way
or other, to concern myself in this affair: that my business was,
by all possible means to conceal myself from them, and not to leave
the least sign for them to guess by that there were any living
creatures upon the island - I mean of human shape. Religion joined
in with this prudential resolution; and I was convinced now, many
ways, that I was perfectly out of my duty when I was laying all my
bloody schemes for the destruction of innocent creatures - I mean
innocent as to me. As to the crimes they were guilty of towards
one another, I had nothing to do with them; they were national, and
I ought to leave them to the justice of God, who is the Governor of
nations, and knows how, by national punishments, to make a just
retribution for national offences, and to bring public judgments
upon those who offend in a public manner, by such ways as best
please Him. This appeared so clear to me now, that nothing was a
greater satisfaction to me than that I had not been suffered to do
a thing which I now saw so much reason to believe would have been
no less a sin than that of wilful murder if I had committed it; and
I gave most humble thanks on my knees to God, that He had thus
delivered me from blood-guiltiness; beseeching Him to grant me the
protection of His providence, that I might not fall into the hands
of the barbarians, or that I might not lay my hands upon them,
unless I had a more clear call from Heaven to do it, in defence of
my own life.

In this disposition I continued for near a year after this; and so
far was I from desiring an occasion for falling upon these
wretches, that in all that time I never once went up the hill to
see whether there were any of them in sight, or to know whether any
of them had been on shore there or not, that I might not be tempted
to renew any of my contrivances against them, or be provoked by any
advantage that might present itself to fall upon them; only this I
did: I went and removed my boat, which I had on the other side of
the island, and carried it down to the east end of the whole
island, where I ran it into a little cove, which I found under some
high rocks, and where I knew, by reason of the currents, the
savages durst not, at least would not, come with their boats upon
any account whatever. With my boat I carried away everything that
I had left there belonging to her, though not necessary for the
bare going thither - viz. a mast and sail which I had made for her,
and a thing like an anchor, but which, indeed, could not be called
either anchor or grapnel; however, it was the best I could make of
its kind: all these I removed, that there might not be the least
shadow for discovery, or appearance of any boat, or of any human
habitation upon the island. Besides this, I kept myself, as I
said, more retired than ever, and seldom went from my cell except
upon my constant employment, to milk my she-goats, and manage my
little flock in the wood, which, as it was quite on the other part
of the island, was out of danger; for certain, it is that these
savage people, who sometimes haunted this island, never came with
any thoughts of finding anything here, and consequently never
wandered off from the coast, and I doubt not but they might have
been several times on shore after my apprehensions of them had made
me cautious, as well as before. Indeed, I looked back with some
horror upon the thoughts of what my condition would have been if I
had chopped upon them and been discovered before that; when, naked
and unarmed, except with one gun, and that loaded often only with
small shot, I walked everywhere, peeping and peering about the
island, to see what I could get; what a surprise should I have been
in if, when I discovered the print of a man's foot, I had, instead
of that, seen fifteen or twenty savages, and found them pursuing
me, and by the swiftness of their running no possibility of my
escaping them! The thoughts of this sometimes sank my very soul
within me, and distressed my mind so much that I could not soon
recover it, to think what I should have done, and how I should not
only have been unable to resist them, but even should not have had
presence of mind enough to do what I might have done; much less
what now, after so much consideration and preparation, I might be
able to do. Indeed, after serious thinking of these things, I
would be melancholy, and sometimes it would last a great while; but
I resolved it all at last into thankfulness to that Providence
which had delivered me from so many unseen dangers, and had kept me
from those mischiefs which I could have no way been the agent in
delivering myself from, because I had not the least notion of any
such thing depending, or the least supposition of its being
possible. This renewed a contemplation which often had come into
my thoughts in former times, when first I began to see the merciful
dispositions of Heaven, in the dangers we run through in this life;
how wonderfully we are delivered when we know nothing of it; how,
when we are in a quandary as we call it, a doubt or hesitation
whether to go this way or that way, a secret hint shall direct us
this way, when we intended to go that way: nay, when sense, our own
inclination, and perhaps business has called us to go the other
way, yet a strange impression upon the mind, from we know not what
springs, and by we know not what power, shall overrule us to go
this way; and it shall afterwards appear that had we gone that way,
which we should have gone, and even to our imagination ought to
have gone, we should have been ruined and lost. Upon these and
many like reflections I afterwards made it a certain rule with me,
that whenever I found those secret hints or pressings of mind to
doing or not doing anything that presented, or going this way or
that way, I never failed to obey the secret dictate; though I knew
no other reason for it than such a pressure or such a hint hung
upon my mind. I could give many examples of the success of this
conduct in the course of my life, but more especially in the latter
part of my inhabiting this unhappy island; besides many occasions
which it is very likely I might have taken notice of, if I had seen
with the same eyes then that I see with now. But it is never too
late to be wise; and I cannot but advise all considering men, whose
lives are attended with such extraordinary incidents as mine, or
even though not so extraordinary, not to slight such secret
intimations of Providence, let them come from what invisible
intelligence they will. That I shall not discuss, and perhaps
cannot account for; but certainly they are a proof of the converse
of spirits, and a secret communication between those embodied and
those unembodied, and such a proof as can never be withstood; of
which I shall have occasion to give some remarkable instances in
the remainder of my solitary residence in this dismal place.

I believe the reader of this will not think it strange if I confess
that these anxieties, these constant dangers I lived in, and the
concern that was now upon me, put an end to all invention, and to
all the contrivances that I had laid for my future accommodations
and conveniences. I had the care of my safety more now upon my
hands than that of my food. I cared not to drive a nail, or chop a
stick of wood now, for fear the noise I might make should be heard:
much less would I fire a gun for the same reason: and above all I
was intolerably uneasy at making any fire, lest the smoke, which is
visible at a great distance in the day, should betray me. For this
reason, I removed that part of my business which required fire,
such as burning of pots and pipes, &c., into my new apartment in
the woods; where, after I had been some time, I found, to my
unspeakable consolation, a mere natural cave in the earth, which
went in a vast way, and where, I daresay, no savage, had he been at
the mouth of it, would be so hardy as to venture in; nor, indeed,
would any man else, but one who, like me, wanted nothing so much as
a safe retreat.

The mouth of this hollow was at the bottom of a great rock, where,
by mere accident (I would say, if I did not see abundant reason to
ascribe all such things now to Providence), I was cutting down some
thick branches of trees to make charcoal; and before I go on I must
observe the reason of my making this charcoal, which was this - I
was afraid of making a smoke about my habitation, as I said before;
and yet I could not live there without baking my bread, cooking my
meat, &c.; so I contrived to burn some wood here, as I had seen
done in England, under turf, till it became chark or dry coal: and
then putting the fire out, I preserved the coal to carry home, and
perform the other services for which fire was wanting, without
danger of smoke. But this is by-the-bye. While I was cutting down
some wood here, I perceived that, behind a very thick branch of low
brushwood or underwood, there was a kind of hollow place: I was
curious to look in it; and getting with difficulty into the mouth
of it, I found it was pretty large, that is to say, sufficient for
me to stand upright in it, and perhaps another with me: but I must
confess to you that I made more haste out than I did in, when
looking farther into the place, and which was perfectly dark, I saw
two broad shining eyes of some creature, whether devil or man I
knew not, which twinkled like two stars; the dim light from the
cave's mouth shining directly in, and making the reflection.
However, after some pause I recovered myself, and began to call
myself a thousand fools, and to think that he that was afraid to
see the devil was not fit to live twenty years in an island all
alone; and that I might well think there was nothing in this cave
that was more frightful than myself. Upon this, plucking up my
courage, I took up a firebrand, and in I rushed again, with the
stick flaming in my hand: I had not gone three steps in before I
was almost as frightened as before; for I heard a very loud sigh,
like that of a man in some pain, and it was followed by a broken
noise, as of words half expressed, and then a deep sigh again. I
stepped back, and was indeed struck with such a surprise that it
put me into a cold sweat, and if I had had a hat on my head, I will
not answer for it that my hair might not have lifted it off. But
still plucking up my spirits as well as I could, and encouraging
myself a little with considering that the power and presence of God
was everywhere, and was able to protect me, I stepped forward
again, and by the light of the firebrand, holding it up a little
over my head, I saw lying on the ground a monstrous, frightful old
he-goat, just making his will, as we say, and gasping for life,
and, dying, indeed, of mere old age. I stirred him a little to see
if I could get him out, and he essayed to get up, but was not able
to raise himself; and I thought with myself he might even lie there
- for if he had frightened me, so he would certainly fright any of
the savages, if any of them should be so hardy as to come in there
while he had any life in him.

I was now recovered from my surprise, and began to look round me,
when I found the cave was but very small - that is to say, it might
be about twelve feet over, but in no manner of shape, neither round
nor square, no hands having ever been employed in making it but
those of mere Nature. I observed also that there was a place at
the farther side of it that went in further, but was so low that it
required me to creep upon my hands and knees to go into it, and
whither it went I knew not; so, having no candle, I gave it over
for that time, but resolved to go again the next day provided with
candles and a tinder-box, which I had made of the lock of one of
the muskets, with some wildfire in the pan.

Accordingly, the next day I came provided with six large candles of
my own making (for I made very good candles now of goat's tallow,
but was hard set for candle-wick, using sometimes rags or rope-
yarn, and sometimes the dried rind of a weed like nettles); and
going into this low place I was obliged to creep upon all-fours as
I have said, almost ten yards - which, by the way, I thought was a
venture bold enough, considering that I knew not how far it might
go, nor what was beyond it. When I had got through the strait, I
found the roof rose higher up, I believe near twenty feet; but
never was such a glorious sight seen in the island, I daresay, as
it was to look round the sides and roof of this vault or cave - the
wall reflected a hundred thousand lights to me from my two candles.
What it was in the rock - whether diamonds or any other precious
stones, or gold which I rather supposed it to be - I knew not. The
place I was in was a most delightful cavity, or grotto, though
perfectly dark; the floor was dry and level, and had a sort of a
small loose gravel upon it, so that there was no nauseous or
venomous creature to be seen, neither was there any damp or wet on
the sides or roof. The only difficulty in it was the entrance -
which, however, as it was a place of security, and such a retreat
as I wanted; I thought was a convenience; so that I was really
rejoiced at the discovery, and resolved, without any delay, to
bring some of those things which I was most anxious about to this
place: particularly, I resolved to bring hither my magazine of
powder, and all my spare arms - viz. two fowling-pieces - for I had
three in all - and three muskets - for of them I had eight in all;
so I kept in my castle only five, which stood ready mounted like
pieces of cannon on my outmost fence, and were ready also to take
out upon any expedition. Upon this occasion of removing my
ammunition I happened to open the barrel of powder which I took up
out of the sea, and which had been wet, and I found that the water
had penetrated about three or four inches into the powder on every
side, which caking and growing hard, had preserved the inside like
a kernel in the shell, so that I had near sixty pounds of very good
powder in the centre of the cask. This was a very agreeable
discovery to me at that time; so I carried all away thither, never
keeping above two or three pounds of powder with me in my castle,
for fear of a surprise of any kind; I also carried thither all the
lead I had left for bullets.

I fancied myself now like one of the ancient giants who were said
to live in caves and holes in the rocks, where none could come at
them; for I persuaded myself, while I was here, that if five
hundred savages were to hunt me, they could never find me out - or
if they did, they would not venture to attack me here. The old
goat whom I found expiring died in the mouth of the cave the next
day after I made this discovery; and I found it much easier to dig
a great hole there, and throw him in and cover him with earth, than
to drag him out; so I interred him there, to prevent offence to my
nose.