Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

Hey there kids.Everybody enjoying 4/20, getting stoned and listening to Phish and eating hemp bracelets and the like?Well get ready for more, because I am passing a gossip joint your way, and it is a fatty.

BONERALERT!This week in Hollywood broke a ton of stories that are sure to pitch some tents.First and foremost, Lindsay Lohan might be a total lesbo.An old publicist of hers is saying that she’s currently hooking it with a DJ named Samantha Ronson.Who knows if it’s true, but at least we can all fantasize about it, can’t we? [source: Egotastic]

Here’s a hilarious story from the MTV fuckfest known as ‘The Hills.’Last week we found out a sex tape existed of MTV queen Lauren Conrad and resident doucebag/ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler.However, this week the porn company planning to distribute it withdrew their offer because the sex was ‘too vanilla.’I honestly can’t decide which would be worse – having a sex tape leak, or having a sex tape rejected because it was too boring. [source: DListed]

Speaking of douchebags, apparently Alec Baldwin is one?There’s an audio tape on the web of this oldest Baldwin leaving a psychotic voicemail message for his 11 year old daughter, in which he says she ‘doesn’t have the brains or the decency as a human being.’What could she POSSIBLY have done as an 11 year old girl to deserve this?Leave out her Barbies?Ask for a ride to the mall?Invite too many friends to her rollerblading birthday party? [source: WWTDD]

It’s Douchebag Week!Turns out Kirsten Dunst is kind of one too.While promoting Spiderman 3 this week, she actually had the balls to tell the media, about a potential Spiderman 4, "Audiences aren't stupid. It'd be a big flop without me, Tobey, or Sam. That would really not be the smartest move."Maybe it’s just me, but I would RUN to the theatre to see a Spiderman without Kirsten Dunst.[source: DListed]