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What A Difference A Year Makes

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Apparently tonight's Powerball jackpot is $360 million...which means the hubs is out buying a ticket (or three)...which means I have a few spare minutes to write! I can't believe it has been a week since my last post. I was posting twice daily there for a while, but confession...I had the week off last week. This week was back to reality in a major way, and time has really flown. I have so much blogging to catch up on in addition to a ton of other things. There are just not enough hours in the day!

Trent spent the day with Grandma today so I could get some things done, and it was so weird not having him around. It was really the first time since having him that I had a chunk of time to myself to work, do housework, etc. It is INSANE how much more productive you are once you have a kid. It really made me think about how much time I probably wasted before I had him! Nowadays every second counts. Anyway...like I was saying...I got to thinking about life before Trent and what I was doing this time last year...with all of that free time I had! And wow...what a difference a year makes.

This time last year I was about 15 weeks pregnant. We had just gotten to the "safe zone" (although there is absolutely no such thing in my book), and we had announced our pregnancy to the world! But with all the struggles of those first 15 weeks 15 months, we were hesitant to let ourselves get excited. Every sentence ended with "if we actually have the baby." Like..."Next Christmas we will get to buy toys for the baby..if we actually have the baby," and "The baby will look so cute in this outfit...if we actually have the baby." It was such an awful, AWFUL way to think, but (especially) I just couldn't seem to shake that feeling. Because it was so early and I couldn't yet feel movement or anything, I constantly worried about whether everything was okay. I know anything can happen during any pregnancy, but it just felt like our IVF was such a last-ditch effort (and miracle), that if anything bad were to happen, it was kind of the end of the baby road for us. I wish I could say that feeling went away as time went on, but I worried about him being okay throughout the entire pregnancy. And now that he is six and a half months old..the worries are just a different kind! Haha...I have gotten much better, though, and I think if I have another pregnancy I will be able to relax a bit more.

This time last year I also had not yet started my Etsy business. While it keeps me so incredibly busy in addition to my real job, I am ecstatic to have a creative outlet and something to call my own. I am looking forward to seeing where it takes me this year. I wish I had started it before Trent, actually, but you know what they say about hindsight! It is good to be busy, though. When I look back at last May, I thought I was swamped...but in reality I think I had TOO much time on my hands! In the past year we have had a family wedding (shout out, Matt and Renee!), survived the summer of West Nile, taken a BabyMoon, had a huge BBQ with family and friends, visited relatives, established new friendships, given the house a facelift, had our first child, given the back yard a makeover, nested, invested, been tested and learned so much. This time last year I could not imagine having a job, running a side business, taking care of a baby full time, taking care of a house, taking care of a husband (or is it the other way around?) and everything else that each day entails...and even though some days I look back on last year and think "I wish I had all the free time I had back then," it is only a fleeting thought. These crazy, long, busy, CRAZY days are what I always wanted. And whether we win the Powerball this week or not, we already hit the jackpot.I promise to find time to write all of the posts I have been promising...garage sale, final back patio pics, GooGoo Review, Mommy's orange pics, etc! For now....breakfast for dinner..cooked by Matt (for the third time this week). Told you I was busy..