If you wanna know- my dh and I are 25 and 27, respectively. We've been "not preventing" a pregnancy since Nov 2005. Two of those months we've given pregnancy a decent shot, the other months were not possible - traveling, illness, etc... Regardless, I kind of expected it to happen by now... I know hitting the jackpot on the first month isn't the norm, but I just kind of expected it. Now I'm nervous to really give a month an "good" try because I'll feel like I've failed a task if it doesn't happen. I know that's not how it works, but it's pretty much how most other things in life work. Other than knowing approximately when the key days are, we have not stressed about getting pregnant. No temping. I'm too sleepy in the morning to try that. Plus, I figure God will give us a child when we're ready. Unfortunately we're at the age (and 4 years into our marriage) that the mothers and grandmothers are asking if we will have any news for them soon. I hate disappointing them Maybe we will though!

I should've titled my journal "TMI". Warning- I'm just going to write stuff, no censoring for the weak

My first few cycles off of the pill I had some spotting. It actually seemed to happen every other cycle oddly enough. January was the last time that happened. February and March were pretty normal. This cycle is turning into the same as last cycle though... While only 30 days, I started having brown cm about 5 days before I was supposed to start. Last cycle it got progressively darker, some days a small bright spot of red. This cycle it's kind of brown, no red yet. If this is normal, that's fine, but I just don't know 100% if it is. I would really like to know if there was a problem. My horomones are off anyway. I have trouble with acne because my body produces more estrogen than the average person I guess. That's why I originally got on the pill. I can't say that the pill helped my acne much though. I'd just love to know if there was something wrong so I could fix it.

Each time a cycle starts looking like a "no-go", I boost myself up by thinking what else I can do with our finances- another guaranteed (as much as anything is guaranteed) month of making an extra payment on our home, or maybe a fun vacation, or even renovating parts of our home! Those thoughts normally boost my spirits. What mainly keeps me sane is knowing God doesn't make mistakes, so if we're not pregnant, then it wasn't the right time. Guess I'll find out in a couple of days about this cycle!

I think AF should arrive anyday now. While it would've been nice to have gotten pregnant this cycle, it wasn't likely at all. Besides, I've got a HUGE thing for work due in a week and a half. It's crucial that I be on my best game then, so I really don't need morning sickness then. (Of course I'd love to have morning sickness, but I'm trying to take the glass-half-full approach)... I've been thinking that maybe it'd be fun to really try this cycle, you know, give it our best shot yet. My dh should have more time. I will soon. That timing may be bad though. Hmmm, gotta fit this trying to conceive into my life somehow if I want to have a bigger family!

CD 4, already 4 days in!! Maybe 10 until ovulation! My big day is the morning of CD 11. That night I hope to start what will be a week of bding!! We've never gone 7 days in a row that I can remember... I figure, why not try this time! Even if we only make it 5 of 7, that's still good odds! Starting CD 11 I'll use the ovulation tests too....

CD 9. So is it just me, or are people posting less frequently than in the past? I think two reasons maybe that last weekend was a holiday and who wants to be inside on a computer when the weather is so beautiful outside?!

Last month dh and I took an unintentional break due to our stress levels. I think that break is gonna make this month amazing- at least it started that way yesterday! I'm gonna use an opk Wednesday evening after my big exam for work. I'm so excited to soon be done with the big exam that I can't imagine how great it would feel to be done with that AND to be pregnant! We will see what happens....

CD 12 No test line visible yesterday or today on the ovulation test... I think I'll get a positive sometime this weekend, probably the night we're at my parent's house! Oh well, they're just gonna have to deal. They want a grandbaby anyway

Test over and went well I think! You really never know, but I'm going to think positive.

I can't believe all the shows I like are ending Will and are ending tonight... I laugh so much at that show! That 70s show... it's so funny too! There are no good comedies on anymore. I'll miss them....

CD 15. No positives on the ovulation test yet... The line is still barely there. I would be discouraged, but I'm pretty sure that can change quickly in 24 hours. I just need to be consistent in testing. I should get a positive any day now! We did cover the bases last night though, just incase We've been having a lot of fun lately. It really does help not being so stressed out about life. Since I'm not stressed out about other stuff, I don't stress out as much about conceiving- although I'm sure it might get discouraging if I keep seeing AF.

We went to see my friend's 3 week old little girl. Newborns are so tiny! At 5'2", I sure hope my babies are tiny when they come out! I'll be ready when we get our bfp. Holding a baby just feels right.