December 08, 2015

In March, my fifth novel, Change of Heartwill hit bookshelves (virtual and otherwise) across the country, and I am in "prepare-for-the-launch" mode.

This book, like all my books, is special to me. As I've gotten older, I've begun to infuse more of myself in my novels, which I suppose makes them feel a bit riskier to put out in to the world. Paper Heartswas also a special one for me, and this next one, while written to standalone is set in the same town with some of the same characters. (Did I mention it's only $2.99 right now for a limited time?)

Anyway, one of the things I'm super excited about is building a DREAM TEAM of readers who will help me spread the word about my new release. These are influencers who will do what they can to get the word out about my books.

Let's face it, promoting yourself is hard and awkward and I don't know anyone who feels 100% confident doing it. I certainly don't, and I have a feeling it will always push me out of my comfort zone! So, yes, I am asking for a little help...but trust me, we're going to make this as fun as we can! :)

So, how do you know if you're a good fit for the Courtney Walsh Dream Team?

October 25, 2015

Not completely, mind you, but noticeably better. For the first time in two month, SOMETHING was working.

My skin didn't feel as tight and I had some hope that I was definitely making huge improvements. While I was still itching, it felt more like dry skin and not like something pulling my skin apart from the inside out. The urgency of it was almost gone. It was bearable.

Unfortunately, I've had a headache since Monday (I think due to eliminating caffeine) and I'm concerned about how long that's going to last.

Also, because I'm seeing a holistic doctor, I'm getting a holistic approach. Meaning, he's treating the whole body from the inside out. Supplements, nutrition, adjustments, acupuncture. It's hard to determine if it's one or two of these things that's helping or if it's literally all of them working together.

Day 5 I had to tell my doctor I can't continue with the acupuncture. It's not covered by my insurance and it's crazy expensive. He adjusted my neck, shoulders and back and told me to be vigilant with the diet and supplements--without acupuncture it would take longer to feel better.

And ugh. I believe him. Last night, some of the urgency in my itching was back. I have NO idea what it is about acupuncture, because believe me, it's not something I would've ever sought out... but I'm starting to wonder if it really was the difference maker.

In terms of the diet, I am still struggling a little. I found out I can have almond butter as long as it's "clean" (no added sugars, etc.) I literally ate some yesterday with a spoon.

This is what the "diet" looks like. It really is a diet in my case because this particular way of eating probably won't be a way of life for me. Healthy eating, yes, but this is more of a medical prescription so I feel okay calling it a diet.

Plus it means that one day, perhaps I'll be able to drink coffee again. One can hope. Anyway, here it is:

Shall we have a moment of silence in honor of all the foods that are not on this list?

I'm doing okay, though. Slowly, but surely figuring it out.

This week, I whipped up this, which I've been making and eating forever.

Years ago, a lady at our church was battling cancer and she switched to a very clean diet because she wasn't able to do chemo (and because she believed eating cleaner would help her in the battle for her life. And it did. This is no joke, friends. I pray we can all grab a hold of this before we get too sick.) and she told me one of her favorite things was this recipe (if you can call it that, it's so easy.)

It's easy, it's clean and it last for days (though when you're tired of chicken, it does get a little bit hard to choke down...but then, what doesn't?)

All it is is:

- boneless, skinless chicken breasts

- carrots

- celery

- chicken broth (organic is best)

- basil.

That's it. You throw these all together in the crockpot, sprinkle the basil over all of it and let it cook all day. If you can do noodles, you could certainly add those for more of a chicken soup (and you might want some onion too.)

The thing I'm learning is that food doesn't have to be fancy. It has to be nourishing. At this point, for me, that's what matters. Nothing else. Is it good for my body? If not, I want no part of it. The cost is just too great.

So tell me, do you have a website or resource for healthy eating that you really love? Help a girl out over here, I'm super desperate for new ideas!

October 20, 2015

I woke up this morning and instantly felt dizzy and nauseous. Various small people in my house haven't been feeling so hot, so I thought maybe I was coming down with something, but in retrospect, I think maybe I was just light-headed from not eating enough yesterday.

More than once, I've stood at the fridge, staring inside as if something is going to magically present itself to me. Something easy and on my list. Something filling. Like, oh, I don't know...bread?

Alas, no go.

Still, yesterday I was a terrible mess to be around--questioning my sanity and melting down is not my M.O. so I gave myself a little tough love this afternoon and reminded myself that I only get one body so taking care of it--healing it--should always be of prime importance.

I've spent a lot of years abusing my body. First the starving myself. Then the binge/purge cycle. Then the three pregnancies that resulted in years of pretty substantial weight fluctuations. None of this can be good for the old endocrine system. I'm not even going to touch on the stress/anxiety cocktail of awesomeness.

In the past, when I've tried to make healthy changes, I almost always go all in. For about ten days. And then I convince myself one Hersey's kiss isn't going to hurt anything. And before you know it I'm face down in a pan of brownies.

(Perhaps a slight exaggeration.) Maybe.

Regardless, what I've learned about making dietary changes, especially when there are stubborn husbands and picky kids involved is that you have to ease yourself into it.

I do not have that luxury right now, but if you're even considering making a change, don't fool yourself into believing you can do it all in one day. Start with something small. Like bread.

3 SIMPLE CHANGES

Also, remember yesterday when I said I wasn't going to give you numbered lists? Apparently I changed my mind.

1. Bread.

Can we talk about bread for a minute?

I'm not eating bread, but my family is...and I wanna know...have you ever read the ingredients in your store-bought bread?

I did a quick search and found this list of ingredients in plain old Butternut Bread:

The more I read about my own potential allergies, the more I started to think about my role as the primary caretaker for my kids, at least in terms of what they're eating. I'm fairly strict, but I make concessions too often, so changing to a better bread was something simple I felt I could do. It's worth it. They're worth it.

My kids (and often Adam) eat a sandwich every single day for lunch. On plain old, high fructose corn syrup and lord-knows-what-else filled bread.

Holy hot dogs, I can pronounce all of them. I could even buy them myself if I wanted to. And there's only FIVE ingredients. Sign me up...I'm all in!

The only downside of going in alone is when you buy bread there, they offer you a free piece of ridiculously smelling bread. I want to marry the whole loaf of Cinnamon Crunch, but apparently it's not on the elimination diet.

Whatever.

2. Vegetables. {They're not as gross as you used to think.}

Another super simple change we made was to eat a vegetable (organic if possible) with every dinner. Not always easy, but I've discovered when I put out a tray of raw vegetables and dip, my kids actually eat it. Sugar snap peas, mini sweet peppers, cucumbers, carrots, celery. They love all of it. And that doesn't require cooking.

So, yes, they're still eating some red dye in their fruit snacks (we're weaning them off those)... but even the smallest changes are good changes.

3. Cook more. {But let's not get crazy, folks.}

I made a commitment to cook more, and surprisingly I'm doing okay. There is always at least one kid who hates what I've made, but for the most part, we're surviving--and it's better than fast food. Maybe you're one of those overachievers who already cooks every night {wanna be friends? and plan my menus and cook my meals?} but I was not. Not by a long shot.

I realize these aren't earth-shattering solutions, but I'm giving myself permission to ease my way in so I don't burn out.

So, a question for you. Do you have a go-to healthy meal that even someone who should really be a contender on The Worst Cooks in America could handle? I'm all ears!

October 19, 2015

I cannot believe how neglected my blog has been the last several months, but life has just gotten incredibly crazy--too crazy to keep up with everything, so naturally, my blog was put on the back burner.

But because writing is the way by which I process things, I feel compelled to come back here and sort through the many, many thoughts tumbling around in my mind. And no, this blog won't follow all the marketing rules. I won't be able to give you Top Five lists of anything (except maybe actors who would easily inspire a romance novel's hero...) I won't overhaul the look of my blog (because TIME, duh.) And I might even, at times, pretend there's no one reading at all.

Because, seriously. Is there really?

I'm great with that, because for the first time in my life I can honestly say this blog, in this moment, it's all about figuring some stuff out for myself.

I'm starting the journey baffled, confused, frustrated and overwhelmed with absolutely no answers for anyone who might come along side me as a faithful (even fair weather) reader. But if what I discover along the way helps someone, well, that would be great and dandy then too.

I suppose I should start at the beginning.

This past summer. Extremely stressful. (I'm going to write in sentence fragments too because that's how I roll.)

I wasn't eating gluten or sugar and I even managed to give up my beloved Dr. Pepper. We did two summer performing arts camps:

And a show:

And it was all pretty awesome. And pretty exhausting. At the same time, I was working on edits for my new book, Change of Heart which releases in early March.

Side note: Got the ARCs today. Seriously made my week. Aren't they pretty?

A week and a half after our summer show, we had auditions for You're a Good Man Charlie Brown. We had 105 kids come out for it. It was incredible. We cast the show, started rehearsals and we were off. And it didn't take long before my stress level warranted fast food again. By the end of August, I wasn't eating a lot, but I wasn't eating well. I was eating fast.

And all of the sudden, I had the worst, craziest, most severe itching with patches of hives and welts all over my arms, legs, hips and back. I'd show you a photo but I value our friendship. And because it's gross. And every time I've looked up photos of rashes (in an attempt to figure this out) I've closed my laptop a little worse for the wear. (Seriously. There are some nasty photos out there.)

After a couple of weeks, I went to Immediate Care. I was told it was eczema. Not an allergy. Don't take Benadryl. Not going to work. She gave me a topical steroid.

Two weeks later, I went to my doctor (who I love, by the way), and over the next few weeks did two rounds of oral steroids. Pretty soon, the hives had turned in to a rash and my itching had ended in bruising and bleeding all over.

Worse, the itching wasn't getting better. I honestly think itching this severe could be a form of torture. It is absolutely horrible in every single way. My doctor recommended I cut out any foods that could be triggering an allergy so for the last couple of weeks I've been on a modified elimination diet.

That means I don't eat:

Dairy (with the exception of a little bit of cheese)

Wheat or gluten

Food Dyes

Nuts

Switched from Coffeemate to Almond Milk Creamer (not the same)

I even completely gave up coffee for a week.

Which meant I WAS eating:

Meat

Fruit

Vegetables

Nothing. No change.

Part of me thought "I guess I have to figure out how to live with it..." but my husband was not okay with that. At all. I considered an allergist, but we've seen allergists before for my youngest son, and we had better results with a Natruopath, so this morning I spent two hours explaining my entire journey to a local doctor who specializes in Integrative Medicine.

And this is where it gets a little hard for me. Like, cry in the grocery store because I'm so overwhelmed hard. In case you don't know me, let me be the first to tell you that I cannot cook. Like, literally. At all. So when I was told my entire endocrine system is out of balance and it's likely due to stress and anxiety and one of the ways to help is with a true elimination diet the stress and anxiety levels in my system just skyrocketed.

I was also prescribed lots and lots of supplements. (There are FOUR more not pictured here.)

I also had acupuncture. The jury is still out on that one...)

So my meltdown may make me seem like a big old baby, but how do you cook when you can only eat a handful of things?

And how do you learn to effectively combat stress and anxiety when you're prone to both? And you have three kids, a husband, a home, a business and a writing career to maintain? And the lack of food options only increases your stress and anxiety?

So, today is day one. My elimination diet was faulty so here I go, following the doctor's orders... and praying that somewhere along the way I find some relief.