Exduh vs. SO. Fathers day dilemma.

Many of you know the background with my ex. Short story is that he is a recovering alcoholic who has been in jail 3 times in the last 5years, chose to move away with his girlfriend and had very little contact with my kids for 5years.

He's been sober and present for 2years now. Kids are adjusting well.

I've been with SO (significant other) for 3.5 years. Lived together for over a year. Kids love him.

Ds is 7 and does TKD. There is a father's day class in June. I suggested he ask his dad and he said her rather ask SO. He hardly knows his dad...really. He pretty much vanished when DS (dear son) was 2.

SO (significant other) said he'd love to go but he doesn't want to hurt exduhs feelings. I assured him that he shouldn't worry about that and what ds (dear son) wants is what counts.

Am i wrong? Class is on Saturday not on father's day which he will spend with his father.

Comments (18)

So dad has been in the kids lives for 2 years and SO (significant other) has been for 3? I'm trying to understand. I would be pretty hurt if my daughter chose to take her stepmom instead of me but on the other hand I would never walk out of my kid's life.

My Dd attends daddy daughter danced with so, not her father. Ds, will ask his dad to do stuff, but most of the time so ends up doing it. I don't think your wrong. Your not even using his father's day time. And your child wants to go with SO. Even if his dad went and took him, he wouldn't enjoy it as much since he has already voiced who he wants to go.

So dad has been in the kids lives for 2 years and SO has been for 3? I'...

Posted
04/25/2018

So dad has been in the kids lives for 2 years and SO has been for 3? I'm trying to understand. I would be pretty hurt if my daughter chose to take her stepmom instead of me but on the other hand I would never walk out of my kid's life.

Dad was around for dd (dear daughter) for longer. She's 10and she's closer with him. Dd was a baby and had very little memory of him from when we were married. He's very close with my SO.

I very much encourage their relationship with their dad. They aren't ignorant to his discretions and that he wasn't here for years. They are forming their own decisions. Visitation is not optional but i don't force anything extra. This is the longest he's ever been sober in 25 years.

So dad has been out of this kiddos for a long time but doing better. Kiddo knows SO (significant other) better than his own father and wants to invite him to TKD class instead of dad?

I think you did the right thing. Kid says I want to invite so, you suggest inviting dad, kid reinforces that he wants so to come. The only thing I would tell ds (dear son) is that he may not want to bring the TKD class up with his dad before or after. Kind of like how you don't tell a bunch of people about your awesome birthday party but then don't invite them.

You are passing a message to a BabyCenter staff member.
For the fastest help on community guidelines violations, please click 'Report this' on the item you wish the staff to review.
For general help please read our Help section or contact us.