Archive for the Leelee Sobiesky Category

So Leelee Sobiesky is some kind of art fag and I fucking hate art fags. Her Halloween costume fucking sucks and it reminds me of some kind of obscure silent film or some shit. Not to mention she’s hanging with busted faced freakshow with expensive looking camera that is probably taking pictures for her next Art Gallery Show and Leelee is the theme.

The reason I hate art fags is because they take themselves so fucking seriously. They sit around and discuss the meaning of other people’s work and why the artist decided to take the picture from the angle they took it from and the whole thing is way to boring for me. The thing I like about art fags is that they are easy to convince to get naked for the sake of art because that’s just how committed they are to the cause and I am pretty sure that that is how porn started. Some guy who couldn’t get pussy, was like what if I pretend that I am an artist and the next thing you know, girls were lining up for him to take pictures and video of them naked, because for some reason being the nude subject in art is a lot easier to accept than being a whore.

Unfortunately, art chicks aren’t hot and either are Leelee Sobiesky and her friend, but I’d still give her head. Get it…cuz she’s carrying a head around. I know, I don’t know where I come up with this golden material either, I guess that’s why I live in a fucking dive of a shithole apartment that is so broken down that even real shithole apartments refuse to step foot inside because they are scared of catching a disease from the toilet.

After I lived with 1.5 legged Melanie in Community College, I roomed with the Queen Mother of fat sluts: picture Brooke Hogan plus 70 lbs and size A tits, crossed with Winnie the Pooh. Fucking Winnie the Pooh: she not only wore his face but covered her THREE QUARTERS of our room with Tigger and that shit. I think if I ever had a justifiable case for arsen, this would have been it, and no jury would convict me after meeting this bitch we’ll call “Cassie.”

Ahhh the cunt in Cassie. She would have three pretty hot guys over in one night for sloppy sex, sometimes they would be going as another was coming, and not seem to get it, or mind the other dude’s fresh wet spooge on her Pooh sheets. She wasn’t even getting paid, stupid bitch. She sex-xiled me constantly, which is fine because I had no desire to watch this slag come and fill the room with the smell of her fat steamy twat.

This borderline obese bitch reminded me that no matter how big and busted a chick is, she can nail a hot guy just by getting up in his face because guys are lazy. They don’t give a shit about the fatrolls hanging out of her backless shirt because the hot girl across the room = effort. Most will shove their cock in aggressive roadkill with tits as long as they don’t have to make the first move. What’s funny is that while they’re slamming fat Cassie’s size 18 ass in the bathroom stall, the hot girl from across the room is just as slutty and they could be pounding her if they had just got up and said “Hi, let’s fuck.” Joke’s on them. And the hot girl for being a pussy. And fat Cassie for simply being fat Cassie

Here is Leelee Sobieski in some PVC and fishnets not looking like fat Cassie, with the exception of the hair. The other chick is Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica) who’s usually smoke’n, but she looks like she has about 20 years and 20 rounds of Botox on Sobieski here. Now have fun trying to bust one over the only photo I could find of this tame hooker/S&M shoot with the girl from “Eyes Wide Shut” and her aging aunt.

Here are some pictures of Leelee Sobiesky’s big old tits at some black tie event wearing a bow tie like she’s a fucking clown at a kids party, or maybe even a Chip and Dale male stripper working horny bachelorettes and their horny single friends. I think that’s one of the things I love about women, they give us slack for going to strip clubs and being relatively tame, drinking our beer, trying to act on our best behavior in hopes of getting the strippers to fall in love with us, because we know we can provide them with a better life where they don’t have to get naked for dirty old me, or because we are the dirty old men but we don’t want them knowing we’re dirty old men because if they did they’d stay as far the fuck away from us as they could…But when girls go to strip clubs, they go fucking nuts. They get on stage, they lick whip cream off the dudes, they grab at them and become the whores we want them be in the bedroom, but we don’t get to benefit from it….

It’s like when you bring a hot chick home and she runs to the bathroom and all you can hear is her farting and shitting and stinking up your apartment. You try to think about how bad you wanted to eat her out because she’s so fucking stacked, but that was before hearing how bad her bowels wanted to get the fuck out of her. You fuck her anyway, because you’re desperate and pretend that you never heard her colon problems from the other room, but that shit keeps haunting you, and all you keep thinking to yourself is how such a hot piece of ass can make you so fucking sick to your stomach.

I guess that’s really not at all the same thing as Leelee Sobiesky taking her tits out to play in costume, but I’ll leave that story in anyway, because Leelee Sobiesky shits too.

Here are some pictures of Leelee Sobiesky’s big old tits at some black tie event wearing a bow tie like she’s a fucking clown at a kids party, or maybe even a Chip and Dale male stripper working horny bachelorettes and their horny single friends. I think that’s one of the things I love about women, they give us slack for going to strip clubs and being relatively tame, drinking our beer, trying to act on our best behavior in hopes of getting the strippers to fall in love with us, because we know we can provide them with a better life where they don’t have to get naked for dirty old me, or because we are the dirty old men but we don’t want them knowing we’re dirty old men because if they did they’d stay as far the fuck away from us as they could…But when girls go to strip clubs, they go fucking nuts. They get on stage, they lick whip cream off the dudes, they grab at them and become the whores we want them be in the bedroom, but we don’t get to benefit from it….

It’s like when you bring a hot chick home and she runs to the bathroom and all you can hear is her farting and shitting and stinking up your apartment. You try to think about how bad you wanted to eat her out because she’s so fucking stacked, but that was before hearing how bad her bowels wanted to get the fuck out of her. You fuck her anyway, because you’re desperate and pretend that you never heard her colon problems from the other room, but that shit keeps haunting you, and all you keep thinking to yourself is how such a hot piece of ass can make you so fucking sick to your stomach.

I guess that’s really not at all the same thing as Leelee Sobiesky taking her tits out to play in costume, but I’ll leave that story in anyway, because Leelee Sobiesky shits too.

The nice thing about having a career that went nowhere is the insecurity that comes with it. You wonder whether the reason you can’t get work is because you have no talent or maybe because you aren’t pretty enough and you start to overcompensate. I’m talking slowly exposing yourself hoping it will get you in the public eye.

Lucky for Leelee it worked. She has huge tits and she’s showing them off. I have a soft spot for tits, and that soft spot is called my dick cuz I have no blood flow in my dick since I had to share my bed with my wife. The smll that came from the folds in her belly just made me think of the shit that is probably living inside her box. Her massive tits came with a massive belly and a massive ass and massive thighs and I talk about this everyday and I am starting to get hate mail about it….

I don’t hate women, I’m not a closet case, I am just a loyal man and my wife doesn’t turn me on. So appreciate the fact that I am still with her instead of focusing on the fact that her ass stinks…

When you are a celebrity, you have the luxury of going to the beach anytime you want. I know that it was the long weekend, and that most of you fools weren’t working, not that any of you actually work. I have a feeling you’re just a bunch of lazy rotters on disability who sit in front of their computers jerking off while eating Cheetos, playing video games and chatting with your internet girlfriend from Idaho, anyway, if you were a celebrity, you could have hit up the beach, possibly with another second-rate celebrity.

I guess the benefit of hanging with less-successful people than you is that you can treat them like your personal bitch, you can get them to carry you around while you smoke your cigarette and drink your redbull.

I can only assume that Leelee Sobiesky has been trying to get Lohan to hang with her for months, and finally Lohan agreed as long as she carries her around. You know how famous people are with their celebrity requests, Lohan was like “Bitch, I will go to the beach with you, but I don’t want my feet to touch the sand”. Sobieski, built like a horse, agreed to be Lohan’s personal rickshaw. The free dance lessons make it all worth it.

I am not going to re-read this post. I have a feeling it’s really not post-worthy – but I am doing it anyway – cuz I hate all of you, but not as much as I hate myself.