Clestine, the Purpose Coach wakes up every morning with an infectious passion to help women around the world be the unique, bold and successful woman that resides within each of us. She is an International Transformation Speaker, Certified Personal Development and Leadership Coach, Author of several books, including her 2nd book, The Art of Convincing Yourself and developer of several proprietary business building programs including her signature program called The Souled Out Method. She’s run a quarter of a million dollar organization, been on international TV, radio and featured in several magazines. Her turning point was when she got laid off from her engineering job of 8 years—on her birthday!

Living her dream since 2003, she helps multi-gifted, faith-led, heart-centered business and career women build authentic, successful businesses. She is passionate speaking and about helping women be confident in their purpose by redefining how they show up in the world and by getting them clear on their soul message so they can attract the clients that want to work with them. She hosts her own business transformation conferences and masterminds to elevate growth in each woman.

Get started on your journey with Clestine by texting the word ‘Clarity’ to 31996 to get her ebook called “3 Questions You Must Answer Before Your Next Client Says Yes” or visit www.TalkToClestine.com to schedule a free consultation with her.

Mike Domitrz:Welcome to The Respect Podcast. I’m your host Mike Domitrz from MikeSpeaks.com, where we help organizations of all sizes, educational institutions, and the US military create a culture of respect, and respect is exactly what we discuss on this show, so let’s get started. And this week we have Clestine, the Purpose Coach. She helps women in business redefine themselves to show up more boldly and with a clear sole message so they can attract the clients they want to work with them. So thank you so much for joining us Clestine.

Clestine:Thank you for having me, Mike.

Mike Domitrz:Absolutely. Excited to have you here. So what brought you to this place in the journey?

Clestine:My story actually starts in England, jolly old England, and that’s where I was born and raised until I was almost 13 but as a child I always wanted to be a teacher and I was extremely shy and extremely insecure, but yet I always had this thing in me where I just wanted to teach people as shy as I was. So fast forward we moved to the United States of America, the Boston area. I was almost 13 when we came here and I started looking for what it would take for me to be a teacher because once you get to high school, you’ve got to kind of pick a track. In my research I was like, oh my gosh, teachers don’t make a lot of money. So I decided I wasn’t going to follow that. Although I always tell people now, don’t follow money, follow your passion and purpose and the money will come eventually.

Clestine:So I followed the money and I decided not to do teaching. I decided to do what I was good at and what I thought I liked. And that was maths and science. And there was always something in me that said I was supposed to be different. My interpretation of different was I’m not going to do teaching. I’m not going to do business. Definitely not nursing like everybody wanted me to. Well, like my mother and my father wanted me to be an accountant and everybody else was going into business. And so I decided I’m going to be an engineer because I was good at maths and science. So I was in it for eight years, two years into it, I am at lunch with my colleagues, all male, and they’re going around the table sharing what their five year goals are and all their goals were in engineering, either management or designing.

Clestine:I realized, oh my goodness, I have no desire for any of what they were sharing and when they got to me, I also realized I had no clue what I wanted to do or who I was supposed to be. And so when they asked me what my five year goals were, I said, “Well, everything that you guys said.” Because it was just a blank slate. Six years into my career, I moved to North Carolina. Didn’t know anybody there, had no friends, no family. And that is really where I really discovered my passion. The last year of my eight years as an engineer, one day we all came to work and none of the C-level managers or the president or middle level managers were in the building. And when they did come back at four o’clock that afternoon, all they said to all the departments were, “There’s going to be a meeting tomorrow.”

Clestine:So when we came into the meeting the next day, every department had two meetings. One meeting was for those staying, one meeting was for those that were leaving, of course, we didn’t know that at the time. Now I wasn’t worried because every job I’d ever had, and I will tell you I had quite a few because I could never last more than two years or a year and a half in a job because, of course, it was not my passion. And so I got bored real easily. So I would get promotions or go to another job. Wasn’t sure what was going on. And I was like, “Okay, something’s wrong here.” And I really felt bad about myself because I was like, “I can’t stay in a job. I can’t live my life this way.” But it was because I wasn’t living my purpose of passion at the time.

Clestine:I didn’t realize that. When I was sitting in this room at this meeting, I wasn’t concerned because every position I ever had, I would get promotions, and then the position before me with either get phased out or the person that came into that position after me got laid off. So I wasn’t worried about getting laid off at all. But I’m sending in the room and I’m not really listening too much because I know I’m staying and then all of a sudden I hear, “I’m sorry to tell all of you, but you will be laid off.” And then of course I’m paying attention. I was like, “Oh my gosh.” I had to pinch myself because I’m like, “This can’t be happening to me.” But then I had this peace in my spirit and I realized that, you know, it was a good thing and I was about to get on a roller coaster ride and just somehow I knew things were about to change for the good, for the better.

Clestine:And so they laid off 117 people and they had four layoff dates. I was the only one laid off October the 27th which is my birthday. And so I knew that was confirmation that that was a gift from God and that something great was about to happen. I ended up eight months later moving from North Carolina to Florida and I worked for a nonprofit for two years. That’s where I learned the pros and cons about business, the good things to do and the not so good things to do. And then I started my own business in 2003, and I’ve been in this business ever since.

Clestine:And so I have a passion to really help women see that we all have a purpose and that your purpose can be monetized into a successful business and that you don’t have to stay in a job that you don’t enjoy. Neither do you have to create your own job, meaning a J-O-B or Just Over Broke business, but you can have an enjoyable, successful business. And I’m so passionate about that because I know what it feels like to be in a job that you just do not like.

Mike Domitrz:Absolutely. So, so important. So what are important steps in that process for somebody to do that? Now, I know you said you worked with women. Do the steps work for all genders and identities or is it built based on demographics culturally for women specific?

Clestine:That’s a great question. It works for all genders, all cultures, basic steps. But my passion has always been for women. And actually I didn’t start out that way. I shouldn’t say always. I started out speaking to everyone because I said, “Well, everybody needs what I have to share, the message that I have to share.” But along the way it became clear to me that even though everybody needs this message, I needed to focus in and niche down to women.

Mike Domitrz:Well, I appreciate you sharing that with us. Thank you. And doing the work. So you know, here we talk about respect. How do you feel are … what are ways that you feel entrepreneurs disrespect themselves in the process of building the business and in running the business?

Clestine:I love these questions. So one of the ways that we disrespect ourselves is we get so focused on money that we lose ourselves. And that is one of the things that happened to me. I was so focused on my purpose and my calling, whatever word you want to use that I lost myself. And I started to, even though I’m really passionate, love, love, love speaking, love coaching and mentoring people, love to see the breakthroughs. That’s like the highlight of coaching for me. I had lost myself. And so I’ve had to repair and reinvent myself and to have a wholistic approach to my purpose. Understanding that there is a life outside of my purpose and my passion is going to show up everywhere.

Clestine:So it’s not just going to show up in my business where I get paid, but it’s going to show up wherever I go because it’s a part of me. But I also have to have moments where I have time of joy, where I’m doing things that I enjoy, that are lighthearted, spending time with friends and family so that those things help to repair me and encourage me and keep me going. So a lot of business people lose themselves in their passion and don’t recognize that we’re mind, body and spirit, and that there needs to be a wholistic approach to our business. Meaning spiritually, emotionally, and physically developing your business.

Mike Domitrz:Yeah, I know at times when I fall into the trap, somebody comes along and says, “Oh, you’ve got to do this. this’ll blow up. And do this, and do this.” And it tends to be they’re pushing this financially. Look what it’ll do financially. When I get into that mindset, I’m not my best self. I’m not also the most vulnerable for the people I’m working with, because it’s the wrong focus. So I’m so glad that you brought that up. It’s so important for us to be aware what is driving me, am I mission driven? Now, you have to make money to survive, so it is a business in that, but you want to make sure that it’s mission driven. So I really appreciate you sharing that. Thank you. How can someone be authentic, respecting theirself and others as they try to grow that business and keep that balance we’re talking about? How do you really be authentic in that and not get caught up in, what do I need to do to get this? And you start to not be yourselves just to get the goal you’re trying to get to.

Clestine:You know, we have, within each of us we have male and female energy, and the male energy is that energy that we use to kind of push ourselves. It’s the energy you use to, “Okay, I don’t want to get out of bed, but I need to get out of bed.” Right? It’s that dominate, push forward kind of energy that we all need to use in our business. Whether you’re a female or whether you’re male, we all have it, some of us more than others. And then you’ve got the female energy where it’s more of a receive, pull, nurture kind of energy. And so one of the things I’ve had to learn is that I had to balance the two. I also had to know when to use those parts of me. We also have a primary and a secondary part of our personality types.

Clestine:And one of the things I do with my clients is the first thing they have to do is do a personality test. And we all know that there’s four basic personalities. We tend to have two at least, that are dominating, primary and secondary. And I’ve had to learn and teach my clients how to learn to know when to use those parts so that it’s not hurting you, but it’s supporting you. So one of the things that is very important that I teach my clients is to work on your soul, which is your mind, your will, and your emotion. So every morning I have prayer, I read spiritual books, I read mindset books, I do meditation, I do affi-confessions, I call it, some people call them affirmations. I exercise and I pay attention to what I’m putting in my body physically. So those things are to help me to be a better person.

Clestine:And I think as entrepreneurs, sometimes we’re so focused on getting that next client that we’re not taking care of ourself. So we’re not taking care of ourselves mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and those things are important. And I think we’ve, as a society, in America especially, we’ve kind of put those things on the back burner, but it shows up in us in our health, you know, maybe getting physically ill or sick and it shows up in our relationships with our loved ones. And so I have had to do that with myself, is to reinvent myself by spending more time with myself and getting to know self. Because if I know myself better and if I am feeling better, then I’m just showing up better for my clients and for the world.

Mike Domitrz:So what are specific steps people can take to ensure they’re doing that for themselves?

Clestine:Well, one of the things you can do is schedule time with yourself. We make appointments with everybody else but ourselves. We kind of push us off to the side or you might think, “Okay, I’m going to spend from eight to eight 30 this morning reading or meditating or something like that.” And that’s all well and good. But I can guarantee you someone is going to call or something else is going to show up or you forget you’re supposed to do something. So I tell my clients, schedule an appointment with yourself because it’s always going to be something that’s going to show up. So that’s the first thing is schedule an appointment with yourself.

Mike Domitrz:Every day?

Clestine:Every morning. We eat every day. We brush our teeth every day. So it’s important for us to have that time of refresh and repair every day.

Mike Domitrz:Yeah, absolutely. So, so important that that’s in our lives and we’re aware of that. And some people, it’s every morning, some people I know do it at night, but it’s that wherever your … because some people are sunset energy, some people are sunrise energy. That all applies. So I love that. Now how important do you think it is to create a community of like-minded believers? That get the journey you’re on so you don’t feel like you’re on that island that can happen sometimes?

Clestine:I think that is so important. For one reason, if we’re around people that as somewhat negative or not aligned with where we’re going, we are like sponges, especially on minds. Our minds and our spirits, our souls are like … soul and our spirits are like a sponge. So whether it’s a conscious thing or an unconscious thing, we kind of absorb the energy and the attitudes of mindsets of people around us. And so it’s very important to be in a like-minded community. Now someone might be saying, “Well, I don’t have any choice because my spouse is somewhat negative, or my spouse doesn’t support me in why I’m doing.” And I get that and I understand that. So one of the ways that you can be in like-minded community, one of the first ways is to get on YouTube or some of kind of social media where you well listening to somebody who is where you want to be and consume yourself with their information. There’s so much information, videos and recordings out there now, there’s no reason why you cannot do that. Then there’s also meet-up groups, MeetUp.com.

Mike Domitrz:Well I’m glad you bring that up because I’ve known about MeetUp, but never really used it myself. You do find that people that are in there are engaging, are coming together?

Clestine:Absolutely. And MeetUp.com is about not about you meeting online. It’s more about you meeting in person.

Mike Domitrz:Right? That’s what I’ve always heard. Yes.

Clestine:Right. So, and it’s not just for business, it’s for anything. So if you like skydiving, you know you’re going to meet up, you type in skydiving group, you type in how far you’re willing to go, maybe 10 miles or 25 miles and you type in the area, maybe Boston, Massachusetts or something like that. And then it’s going to give you a list of groups that come within the demographics that you just shared. And then you go join those groups and give it, I always say give the group three to six months, and if it it’s not working for you, go to the next one or try two or three at the same time. But try and MeetUp.com, and then there’s always the social groups on social media that you can try and don’t just sit on the sidelines, participate when people ask questions or if people aren’t asking questions, you start a conversation, ask someone questions and wait for the answers and start to interact with them in the group and outside of the group.

Mike Domitrz:Awesome. And you have five steps for helping people redefine themselves so they can be an influencer in their community. What are those five steps?

Clestine:Right. So these are five steps, yes, exactly, to reinvent yourself and to be an expert. The first step is to develop your confident mindset. This is one of, I would say this is the most important step because so many of us get into business, we’re really good at what we’re in business for, whether it’s speaking, whether it’s becoming a florist, whether it is being an accountant, and you’re really good at what you do, but you’ve got to learn how to sell and you gotta learn how to market, whether you like sales or marketing. If you’re in business, you’re going to have to do it right? So the first step is you’ve got to build a confident mindset of what you have to present to the world, to your tribe, to your audience. You’ve got to be confident with what you have and what is valuable to your tribe.

Clestine:So that’s the first thing, right? Confident in who you are, because then it’s going to help you to be confident, more confident, I should say, in sales. The second step is you have to know what your core message is. You do not have to be a speaker to have a core message. Everybody who has a purpose has a message. Your purpose has a message and your message has a platform. It creates a platform and a space for you. So when you start showing up in your purpose, and once you know your message and you start repeating that message where ever you go, some people call it mission. Some people call it core message. I call it your soul message or your purpose. Once you know it, you’re clear on it and you share it everywhere you go. And when I say share it, your core message is not just what you say and how you say it, but it’s how you’re showing up in the world.

Clestine:Your style, your mannerisms, those types of things. Once you’re clear on that and you keep repeating it, eventually people are going to start paying attention and they will start to look for you or start to attach themselves to you. And so that takes us to the third step, which is identifying your ideal client. So once you know your core message, then it’s important to understand who you’re actually, I call it your soulmate client is because we’ve all been called to serve and attract certain people. And most of the time you’re attracting a person that is just like you, a person that has desires and passions like you and challenges and struggles like you. Not all the time, but I have found, especially with the clients that I attract most of the time, that is the case. So who is your soulmate client? That’s so important.

Mike Domitrz:I love that language, soulmate client. It’s such a deep love. I love it. And so four is, where does four take us?

Clestine:So four takes us to developing your influencer talk or some people will call it your signature talk. So once you know your core message, you can create the steps to your signature talk. Some people, it might be a program and you can repurpose your signature talk or your influencer talk into a program, a book, a blog or a recording. You know, you can repurpose that. But this is going to be now, how are you going to share the value of what you have for your clients? And when you have a really good influencer talk, it attracts, it filters out your audience and it will pull your soulmate clients to you because they’ll be sitting there saying, “Wow, I need to talk to her. I need to connect with that person. I need to connect with him, I need to talk more with them because I think I need them.”

Clestine:I love when I hear that, “I think I need you.” And then the fifth step is to have a winning conversation. So what I teach my clients once you’ve got your signature talk and or your influencer talk, invite them to sit down with you one on one and have a conversation and have a soul conversation , a winning conversation where you consult with them to find out, am I the right fit for you? Am I the right person for you? Are we a match for each other? So that I can help you and serve you in the way that I’ve been called to serve my tribe.

Mike Domitrz:I love that. And for you, you mentioned, before the show, obviously we communicate and you had mentioned that you actually came through depression. So how did that apply to your journey? How did that impact your journey into starting your own conferences?

Clestine:Yes. I had noticed, this was about five years ago, that for two years in a row I had depression for two months, and it was always November and December. I’m not quite sure what that was about, but it was almost like I had expended all my energy by the end of the year and I just went into a deep depression. Nobody knew that I did because I was good at showing up or trying to at least show up in public with a smile. Then I would get home. It got to the point where I could hardly get out of the bed and I was just like, “What is wrong with me?” One of the things that one of my friends, I remember her saying, she said, “It’s okay to be in this state and it’s okay to take a break.” And I had to receive that, that it was okay to take a break and it was okay to be in that space.

Clestine:Once I got that, then I had to do some things to start shifting my mindset. I didn’t have the energy to do confessions out loud, but I did have a little bit of energy to start doing them in my mind. I always say to my clients, “What can you do when they excuses start showing up as far as what I can’t do, what can you do?” Well, what I could do was I could say some confessions and affirmations in my mind and I could do some journaling. And so journaling and doing confessions in my mind really helped me, getting out in the sun because that’s what it’s designed for. The energizers.

Clestine:I started to do that, and maybe sharing with someone that you trust this space that you’re in so that they can support you through. And once I did that, I realized, “Okay, I did more than I need to do. There’s something else I’m supposed to be doing.” And once I figured that out, what I realized was I need to be sharing with more people. I had gone to a place where there’s more that I needed to be doing on something in addition to what I was doing. And so I realized it was conferences, that just doing masterminds and speaking on someone else’s stage wasn’t enough. I needed to speak on my own stage. And so that’s how I started doing my conferences.

Mike Domitrz:So you do public conferences where you’re drawing people in just to spend time with you, you’re not being brought in by a company or organization for those specific events?

Clestine:Correct. I do my own conferences. I actually have one coming up called Souled Out, S-O-U-L-E-D. In Sunny Tampa, Florida, October the third and fourth and I’m really looking forward to that one. That one’s going to be about redefining yourself, using your core message to attract the clients that want to work with you.

Mike Domitrz:And so when you have these events, how many people, like if somebody wanted to come to it and think, “well how many will be there?” Is it a small intimate or is it a larger big event?

Clestine:I call them [inaudible 00:25:06] conferences. So usually about 50 people, but this one, I’m going to have about 50 to a hundred people.

Mike Domitrz:Okay. Well that’s still small enough that everybody can feel like they’re in their own journey. You know what I mean? You don’t get lost in the numbers.

Clestine:And that’s how I like it. Yeah.

Mike Domitrz:Yeah. That’s great. And you have two books you recommend along your journey. One is Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer. The other is The Greatest Secret, which is different than The Secret, The Greatest Secret by Ron McIntosh. Why those two books?

Clestine:Because it’s all about mindset. I am all about helping people to change their mindset because if you can change your mind, you can change your life. And both of those books are about understanding how to consistently on a daily basis shift your thinking so that you can shift your destiny.

Mike Domitrz:That’s beautiful. And you have really owned throughout this interview and throughout your work, the word soul, why that word?

Clestine:My father died last year and so I temporarily went to be with my mother in Boston, Massachusetts so that she could have support as she’s going through her transition. And so I was spending more me time and quiet time, and I started doing a lot of meditating and praying and that’s what kept coming to me. And whatever I share with others, it’s because I’ve had to do it for myself. And so what I realized was my soul needed a lot of repair, which is your mind will and your emotions needed a lot of repair and I had been operating my business on a damaged soul for a very long time and it was starting to show up in my business. And so when I looked, because I have a teacher’s spirit, when I learn something or discover something, I always want to teach it to somebody else.

Clestine:I have a new program called the Souled Out Method, which is the five steps that I shared with you. It’s a 10 week program. So I created that and then this Souled Out Conference. So when our soul is not, when it’s in disarray, it’s going to show up in your business. It’s going to show up in your life and if you don’t take a handle on it quick enough, you can get ill, get into depression, which is probably why I got into depression and all of those things. So repairing and nurturing our soul is so important in business.

Mike Domitrz:Well I want to thank you, Clestine, for really opening our minds up in this discussion of how the soul is important in our work and in our mission, our purpose and what we’re doing. Thank you so much for joining us. I want to make sure that our listeners can find you and it’s very easy. It’s TalkToClestine.com website. Clestine, C-L-E-S-T-I-N-E. And all of this will be on our show notes because you also have a website GetSouledOut with soul, S-O-U-L-E-D, we just talked about that, your conference and of course they can find you on Amazon too. So thank you so much for doing this.

Clestine:Thank you.

Mike Domitrz:Absolutely. And listeners, you know what’s coming up next. That is our question of the week. Before I answer this week’s question of the week, I’d love to ask you a question, would you please subscribe to this podcast, The Respect Podcast with Mike Domitrz?

Mike Domitrz:By subscribing you can make a huge impact. Now you might be wondering, “Mike, how does my subscribing to your podcast make a huge impact?” Well, here’s how. For every person that subscribes, it raises the rankings of the show in the search engines. So for people who care about respect, like yourself, when they’re doing a search for podcasts, they’re more likely to find this show, thus providing an awesome opportunity for us to spread more respect around this world and all you do is hit subscribe under your podcasts. Plus, the second benefit is by subscribing, you automatically get every episode right into your phone or whatever device you’re listening to the podcast on. It happens automatically, so subscribing also makes your life easier. Now let’s get into this week’s question of the week. Oh, and by the way, you can always ask your questions of the week by joining us on Facebook and our discussion group.

Mike Domitrz:It’s called The Respect Podcast Discussion Group. Go there on Facebook and ask whatever questions you would like me to answer and/or address in this segment of the show, and then listen to each episode to find out when your question is included. This week’s question is, “Mike, do you think being spiritual is important?” Great question. And so I think it’s very personal choice and what spirituality means to each person be very different. Some people hear spirituality, immediate think religion, others think spirituality and think of it very differently than religion. A personal connection to the universe or to each other. I believe we are all connected through an energy in this universe. I personally believe that. Doesn’t mean that everyone believes that. I choose to believe that that connection is love, that we are connected through all the human beings and creation through love.

Mike Domitrz:So for me, that’s very spiritual. And for me that can drive my decision making, how I view the world, how I treat others. And so for me it’s really, really important. For other people, they’re going to have a very different spiritual understanding of themselves and the world. And that’s a personal choice. That’s the power of spirituality is being able to figure out what does it mean to you? So I ask you, what does it mean to you? Share with me on our Facebook page. You can always find us at The Respect Podcast on Facebook. We have The Respect Podcast Facebook page and we have The Respect Podcast Discussion Group on Facebook. We’d love to hear you. What does it mean for you to be spiritual, if you are and do you think spirituality is important? Thanks. Do you know what I would love? I would love to hear your answer to this week’s question of the week.

Mike Domitrz:So would you please answer what your answer would have been if you were asked that question today on the show. All you do is go to our Facebook page. We have a special group where we have these discussions called The Respect Podcast Discussion Group, so The Respect Podcast Discussion Group and share with us what would your answer have been to this week’s question of the week, and take a moment, post us a new question for future episodes. What question would you like to hear me answer on an upcoming episode? That’s all done on Facebook in our special group, which is The Respect Podcast Discussion Group. Can’t wait to see you there.

Mike Domitrz:Thank you for joining us in this episode of The Respect Podcast, exploring work, love, and life. And this episode, like every episode is brought to you by our organization, The Center for Respect, which you can find at CenterForRespect.com and of course you can find me your host, Mike Domitrz, at MikeSpeaks.com. Thank you so much for joining us.