Whelllll... The guy I had planned a hookup for tonight with texted me while I was at the place were suppose to meet saying he's so sorry but he's going to to be really late, like maybe longer than a half hour. I say well I'd wait a half hour but let me know if it's going to be much longer than that and maybe I'd leave and come back later, yeah it's now up in the air if or when he'll be able to meet. So I was basically stood up! Lame! If he does get back to me that he's there I'm not even too sure I'd want to now, but am slutty enough I probably would.

Christmas greetings, fellow online daters! Just wanted to drop a quick update that the charming, adorable, and utterly amazing guy I met on OKC three months ago is sitting in the living room with my parents enjoying a movie after a huge dinner. When I was first single a year ago I poo-poohed online dating, but I have to thank Jordan Pattern for forcing my hand because wooee. This is nice. :)

Whoo! Congrats Erika! So nice to hear how happy you are!

I'm happy to report that I'm still stupidly happy with my online dating guy. We've hit a couple of bumps on the road, we have very different approaches to life, but we constantly remain respectful and keep ending up meeting in the middle. We absolutely adore each other and both think that there's a pretty good chance this is for good. It was worth the journey of eejits to find this man. Yaayy for online dating (and being too stubborn to give up!)!!

Hell yes on both accounts! You ladies give me a bit of hope in this crazy world of out-of-towners looking for local yoni.

Well I ended up getting what I was lookin for! Oh Internet. How easy you make it to be a slut!

It was lots of fun and his body was really nice, but I was a little bummed his face just kinda... Well I wasn't that attracted to him. He kept saying we should do that again soon and I probably will but If I'm going to have a multiple-time thing with people I'd hope I was attracted to them. Darn.

Christmas greetings, fellow online daters! Just wanted to drop a quick update that the charming, adorable, and utterly amazing guy I met on OKC three months ago is sitting in the living room with my parents enjoying a movie after a huge dinner. When I was first single a year ago I poo-poohed online dating, but I have to thank Jordan Pattern for forcing my hand because wooee. This is nice. :)

Whoo! Congrats Erika! So nice to hear how happy you are!

I'm happy to report that I'm still stupidly happy with my online dating guy. We've hit a couple of bumps on the road, we have very different approaches to life, but we constantly remain respectful and keep ending up meeting in the middle. We absolutely adore each other and both think that there's a pretty good chance this is for good. It was worth the journey of eejits to find this man. Yaayy for online dating (and being too stubborn to give up!)!!

Aw, gosh, I'm so happy for both of yous.

I'm starting to get sort of burned out on the online dating thing. It doesn't seem like there are all that many people in my area who are my age and good matches, and I'm just...eh. :( :(

Ugh. So, I'm pretty sure I am being blown off, despite point blank asking him whether I was being blown off or if he was just busy with a project we had talked about (and ensuring him that either way was okay and that I just wanted to know) and he said he was just busy. I haven't heard from him since the middle of last week (despite tentative snow-walk plans). Last week I also sent him a FB friend request, along with a short message. FB tells me that he read the message last week, shortly after I friend-requested him, but he didn't respond or accept the request.

It's all a bit confusing, because my interpretation of the date was that it was fun for both of us. But I don't even care about that. He's entitled to not want to see me again. What peas me off is that I gave him an easy way to be honest with me, and instead he chose to be a jerk.

Well I ended up getting what I was lookin for! Oh Internet. How easy you make it to be a slut!

It was lots of fun and his body was really nice, but I was a little bummed his face just kinda... Well I wasn't that attracted to him. He kept saying we should do that again soon and I probably will but If I'm going to have a multiple-time thing with people I'd hope I was attracted to them. Darn.

i really like how straight-forward this commentary was. i think it seems that you know what you're doing and part of that includes getting what you wanted, so more power to you! hope you find someone you're more physically attracted to in the future.

a similar thing happened to me recently-- really nice guy, but his body type was all wrong for me. it was a little sad, but i thought it'd be better for me to end it earlier than later.

i've agreed to be exclusive with the guy i'm seeing at present, but i'm a little confused about the whole thing... he's good at communication in person, but not so much over the phone. we're supposedly doing something for NYE, so i guess i'll talk to him them.

Ugh, takecare. Sorry that happened to you. I think people who do stuff like that really think they're sparing the feelings of the person they're stringing along, but in reality, it's not like it hurts any less getting rejected this way than just being told outright. It's really cowardice on their part.

One thing that someone once said to me while I was doing internet dating that really helped me to deal with situations like that is that "mixed messages really mean no". When I realized that, I was able to cut my losses and move on when someone was being ambiguous. If someone really wants to be with you, they'll find a way of letting you know. Unambiguously.

Yes, I know, that sounds like I'm discounting shy or socially awkward folks, but in my experience, even the shy folks find some way of letting you know how they really feel. If someone is being vague or making excuses ("I'm really busy" instead of "I'm really busy, but would really love to see you again. Can we meet for coffee next week?") it's time to move on.

_________________I ate the shiitake out of inappropriateness. - Hollie

Ugh, takecare. Sorry that happened to you. I think people who do stuff like that really think they're sparing the feelings of the person they're stringing along, but in reality, it's not like it hurts any less getting rejected this way than just being told outright. It's really cowardice on their part.

One thing that someone once said to me while I was doing internet dating that really helped me to deal with situations like that is that "mixed messages really mean no". When I realized that, I was able to cut my losses and move on when someone was being ambiguous. If someone really wants to be with you, they'll find a way of letting you know. Unambiguously.

Yes, I know, that sounds like I'm discounting shy or socially awkward folks, but in my experience, even the shy folks find some way of letting you know how they really feel. If someone is being vague or making excuses ("I'm really busy" instead of "I'm really busy, but would really love to see you again. Can we meet for coffee next week?") it's time to move on.

This! If some postpones and really wants to see you again they should offer an alternative, otherwise their either not interested or don't have much in the way of consideration/effort/manners.

One thing that someone once said to me while I was doing internet dating that really helped me to deal with situations like that is that "mixed messages really mean no". When I realized that, I was able to cut my losses and move on when someone was being ambiguous. If someone really wants to be with you, they'll find a way of letting you know. Unambiguously.

That's SO TRUE. And, the pathetic part is that I have already learned that lesson like a million times. It just won't stick.

so the last time i saw the guy i was seeing was a sleepover and a you-can-show-yourself-out in the morning.... haven't heard from him since! and he'd asked ME to do something w/ him for new year's!! i sure can pick 'em, huh? ugh. i feel so stupid and taken advantage of!!!

Yes, I know, that sounds like I'm discounting shy or socially awkward folks, but in my experience, even the shy folks find some way of letting you know how they really feel.

Definitely. Especially when we're talking about texts or e-mails, where shyness doesn't really come into play.

chouettes crêpes wrote:

so the last time i saw the guy i was seeing was a sleepover and a you-can-show-yourself-out in the morning.... haven't heard from him since! and he'd asked ME to do something w/ him for new year's!! i sure can pick 'em, huh? ugh. i feel so stupid and taken advantage of!!!

One thing that someone once said to me while I was doing internet dating that really helped me to deal with situations like that is that "mixed messages really mean no". When I realized that, I was able to cut my losses and move on when someone was being ambiguous. If someone really wants to be with you, they'll find a way of letting you know. Unambiguously.

That's SO TRUE. And, the pathetic part is that I have already learned that lesson like a million times. It just won't stick.

You're not the only one, and after all I think that trying to trust people, give them a chance, etc is just normal, it's just a risk we have to take unless we want to give up any hope on human kind (wich is what I'm doing. but whatever)

so the last time i saw the guy i was seeing was a sleepover and a you-can-show-yourself-out in the morning.... haven't heard from him since! and he'd asked ME to do something w/ him for new year's!! i sure can pick 'em, huh? ugh. i feel so stupid and taken advantage of!!!

Actually I'm like a 1000000000x better at writing than speaking, but what scares me is the scripta manent thing (what if I regret what I've said, what if they have it read by someone else, etc...)(which makes me realize: I can barely communicate at all :P)

(hum, Does anyone have the same problem or am I a case for psychiatry?) :D

i have a similar problem. i get anxious about writing too much or too little or i worry that i'm going to word it in such a way that accidentally offends someone.

i left the guy a voice mail this morning just saying that i thought he handled things really poorly, that i'd thought he was better than that, and his actions really hurt my feelings. for heavens sakes the dude is a therapist, he should know how his actions can effect people!

i gave vegan boy a call today and we had a good chat... i dunno... i gotta figure stuff out...

Oh man, this super adorable hot dude from Vancouver BC messaged me today saying we should go on a date before Saturday when he leaves Portland! I JUST came down with this shiitake cold today, not sure when it'll go away and my parents are coming in town Thursday night, they'll be here Friday and Sat! Dang Nabbit! I might try to power through this cold, maybe I'll be fine thursday before my fam gets here? :P

UGH. OKC keeps showing me these super gorgeous people with really excellent swoony profiles...who live like 50 miles away. WHY.

i dunno, maybe you could make it into a weekend thing. find a restaurant or some shopping you'd like to do that's in that area so you can do stuff on your own, then go on a date. i live really far away from a city and this is what i do.EDA: i mean, they're probably looking at your profile and thinking, "oh man, she's so swoony!! but she lives 50mi away!! she'd never agree to it..." why not make the incentive?