WalkintheWoods has that all correct. To state it another way, hits come early and hard but if she makes it to the end (short of incredibly rare occurrences) she WILL be placed into a chapter. So she needs to take the cuts she gets with grace, take a fresh look at the chapters to whom she still has invitations each day, and be happy.

Clearly you can't help but have favorites after each round, and it is unrealistic to say she shouldn't make her favorites the houses that are outside her reach (for whatever reason). But if she can go in accepting that 1-all of the houses are good there, even the smallest and 2-she WILL have a positive sorority experience if she allows herself to then the emotional setbacks of being cut by this or that house should be temporary.

ANY cuts feel personal and abusive. With RFM, the chapters have to cut more girls than they want. Try really REALLY hard not to take it personally. This system really does work better, even if you want to say, "but if they'd only give my little snowflake another chance they'd grow to love her as I do!" That is undoubtedly true, but hard decisions have to be made in favor of efficiency. Rush would take forever if they allowed sufficient time at parties and/or had duplicate rounds to give members and chapters an extra opportunity to get to know each other.

Trust that the system works. Know that the vast majority of girls who don't drop out and meet the minimum gpa do get placed. When you see 75 and 80% placement rates, please know that most of those 20-25% of girls dropped out when they got cut by their favorite sorority. The girls who stick it out rarely get cut completely. Not that it DOESN'T happen, but it is not a possibility you need to spend time worrying about.

If she goes in prepared with her recs, basic conversational skills and a good attitude, she should be fine. Good luck.

__________________"Traveling - It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller. ~ Ibn Battuta

I just remember as a Mom driving back from having dropped her off (long ride) and her texting me excitedly and telling me about all the houses she visited and ones she particularly liked and felt like the conversation went great. After the first day there were 2 she really loved. Where she found like minded girls that she was paired with she had a lot in common with. I was so excited for her. Fast forward to the day they get their first list of invites back and she had only 4. And not either of the two she so loved. I was in the car on my way to work and I felt just awful and trying to tell her that was "good". I mean it was still good - she had houses she liked, but I think we were both unprepared for it to be this competitive. But that were those early cuts. And yes.....better to be cut right away than to keep going back and becoming more enamored with a place where you were ultimately not going to end up. We both realize now that the conversations she had there were still good, and those girls didn't secretly run back and "diss" her. But these were both houses that tend to be more competitive and that it wasn't personal. At the end of the day, she is in a chapter she loves and looking forward to living in the house (and it was a house she liked all along).

Yes! If I was going off of what PHA states, I wouldn't have thought she needed rec letters, I am so glad I found this site that stated otherwise. I would hate for her to be at a disadvantage because we just didn't know!

Panhel really can't state outright that rec letters are needed to attain a bid, because they don't know the membership selection policies of every chapter. The only thing they can say is that girls need to be a full time student with a certain GPA to participate in the rush process. I'm going to make this blanket statement: if recs are even mentioned on the school's Panhel page, you need to get them. If addresses of the chapters are included when talking about recs, YOU REALLY NEED TO GET THEM.

Panhel really can't state outright that rec letters are needed to attain a bid, because they don't know the membership selection policies of every chapter. The only thing they can say is that girls need to be a full time student with a certain GPA to participate in the rush process. I'm going to make this blanket statement: if recs are even mentioned on the school's Panhel page, you need to get them. If addresses of the chapters are included when talking about recs, YOU REALLY NEED TO GET THEM.

We are having trouble finding a sigma kappa rec. I reached out to our local PHA site today for assistance. She has 14/15 houses otherwise. I hate for her not to have that last one because that chapter looks adorable on their recruitment video. It's become a mission for me now to locate one. Wish me good luck!

We are having trouble finding a sigma kappa rec. I reached out to our local PHA site today for assistance. She has 14/15 houses otherwise. I hate for her not to have that last one because that chapter looks adorable on their recruitment video. It's become a mission for me now to locate one. Wish me good luck!

I am a Sigma Kappa and there are several on Greek Chat as well. I will PM you to chat about it if you would like.

Sorry, didn't get back here for a few days. I see there have been great explanations of RFM. It really is helpful at schools with such large groups of girls going through recruitment. Your daughter will hear the phrase "maximize your options" many times. This means that she attends every party she is invited to (mandatory at MIzzou) and after pref she lists every chapter she visited (up to 3) on her preference list. If she does make it to pref round and lists all chapters she attended she is guaranteed a bid to one of those houses, although not necessarily her first choice. If she attends 3 pref parties but only lists one or two of the houses she is not guaranteed a bid.

It sounds like you have done everything you can do to help her prepare. It's great that she has so many rec letters. There is lots of good information on this site and several others on-line that give tips on recruitment conversation skills. There is a great thread here in the sorority recruitment section about making personal connections during recruitment that I read and shared with my daughter before recruitment.

Wishing you and your daughter all the best. Please keep us posted on how it goes for her.

Ooooh -- it's been 45 years since I was getting ready for Mizzou recruitment. 1970-71 was the last year that the term began in mid-September, so our recruitment was after labor day. I need to dig out the scrapbook for some TBT pictures.

Ooooh -- it's been 45 years since I was getting ready for Mizzou recruitment. 1970-71 was the last year that the term began in mid-September, so our recruitment was after labor day. I need to dig out the scrapbook for some TBT pictures.

Sorry I'm so late to the discussion, I've been trapped in a home renovation project. My daughter also went through recruitment last year at Mizzou. Many of the people posting on this thread are responsible for keeping me sane last year. MomofTiger is already miles ahead of me, just by coming here early and getting recs for 14 of the houses.
Even though I was Greek in college, I was wholly unprepared for SEC recruitment. We had NO recs, my daughter knew one person at Mizzou who was in a fraternity, but had been asked to leave the school for conduct issues. She had a good GPA, lots of involvement in high school and strong ACTs going for her, but that was it.
She did go into the process with an open mind, as she had no prior knowledge of any of the chapters. She was 2 weeks out from a pretty significant infection in her lymph node, so the left side of her face looked kind of like a chipmunk, and she had to nap over her lunch breaks. She did well after the first round of socials and had 5 or 6 chapters she really liked, but got heavily cut between rounds 2 and 3 and lost all but one of the houses she really liked. However, she kept her top ranked house, and each round fell more in love with them. On preference night she was in tears, she was so set on this house, the other two she went to did not compare. She wanted to suicide, but I talked her into listing at least 2 on her card, she just did not see herself in the third house and was willing to forego pledging in the fall if it came to that.
I was so nervous on bid day, I knew she was either going to be thrilled or devastated, and I live 450 miles away. Her roommate and two of her closest new friends on her floor had dropped before preference because they were not happy with their remaining choices, and they were all from St Louis. So at least she would have them for support if things went badly. When she did not get a call from her Pi Chi, she felt a little better. Thankfully on bid day she got her first choice and is very happy there. When they started recruitment training in the spring, she told me several times, "I have no idea how I got into my chapter" She has reached out to girls in her high school on social media offering to give advice to anyone considering recruitment so they do not go into it as clueless as we did. For the moms, I strongly recommend you get as many recs as you can, don't sweat the ones you can't, encourage your daughter to try to show her personality at the socials, without going overboard or overly "cheesy" Avoid controversial topics at all cost. Many sisters do have strong religious, political and social opinions, but this is not the time or place to discuss them. Dress appropriately, feel free to throw in something interesting or personal, it can be a conversation starter, but nothing crazy or wild. Think lunch or dinner at the Dean's house!
Most important of all: HAVE AN OPEN MIND!! Do not listen to the whispers of other PMNs or buy into rankings on the internet sites. Every house has something to offer, but some will just feel more comfortable than others. Good Luck, and I suggest a nice supply of wine in the fridge for you, mom!