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If my girlfriend had written that I would let her know that after more than 21(!) years together I've learned I can't function without her. Even if I seem complacent at times when we're together, she should know that she becomes my overiding thought whenever we're apart. Everything else is in such a distant 2nd place compared to how much I need to be with her...that's how I know she is my one true love! (oh yeah- she's also the most beautiful girl I've ever met, she makes me laugh and she always smells so good, too!). Hope she's reading this(!). Thank you again, Tesseth for making me stop and think.

AuthorReply

Comment | 70 words

Wed, January 31st, 2007 9:05am

Fantastic broken5150! I hope you tell her that--everything you said about your feelings for her, made me go "awww"! Our hearts really do melt (years after we've met or been together) when you tell us sincerely how you feel about us. And, *gold stars* if you whisper it to us as we're kissing softly or before, during, & after being intimate!!! Thanks for the feedback, I'm very glad you enjoyed this!

An emotional message I love to see artistically expressed. As it is so seldom. Or at all well.

It gives me an idea about some my next efforts. At poetry writing, that is.

This poem, with others like it, would serve as a useful way to instruct a man on how best to behave in a relationship with the woman in his life.

At times, emotions (inherently irrational), need to be expressed in a rational and coherent way. Many cannot make the transition from one to the other.

For example, many have genuine and deep feelings of love and affection they can never put into words.

Many "smooth talkers", easily and falsely, express love and affection to almost anyone who looks good to them but in whom they have no real interest. Except to seek and satisfy their own personal and transitory pleasure.

I am certain, this is well understood by someone who could write such a terrific poem. As well as the bounder who will be among the first to (mis)use such verse. It is the sincere reader for whom I have written my response.

"Just say it!". If you can't find your own words, then read the poetry, written by others, to her. I am sure she will get the message. Eventually. And when this happens, she will let you know when to shift from verbal to non-verbal forms of expression.

Another terrific job.

Happy trails,

Ed Bradley.

AuthorReply

Comment | 104 words

Wed, January 31st, 2007 8:56am

Very true! Thank you so much Mr Bradley. You have captured my intentions perfectly! I wish people (male Or female) could just ask for what they NEED to hear, to often I think we just EXPECT that our 'true love's" should just KNOW what we want... But, of course, that seldom happens. Sometimes/Often, we have to come right out and say "this is what I need to know". And on the flip side, yes, the insightful person may take some hints from this type of poetry and see what women/men want to hear. Very good Mr Bradley, thanks for your wonderful response!

It could be in 6/8 or maybe waltz time, this one. Imagine singing it to the tune of "Favourite Things" with a 3 beat rest after each line, perhaps....

Tell me you love me now tell me just why
Give me the reasons how I make you sigh,
Tell me 'bout when it was you truly knew
That we were meant 'to be'- our love was true.

You were very kind at accepting my last critique in good grace. This is a fine poem that would make a fine waltz.

These three lines (below) from your original are a powerful summary of the drive behind the poem. They could stand alone as blank verse.

Tell me this all please
Reassure this heart
That our love is strong

AuthorReply

Comment | 199 words

Tue, February 6th, 2007 11:59am

Didn't you say you weren't much of a poetry man? (I thought I remember you saying that, maybe I'm wrong.)
Anyway, THANK YOU!...you DO seem to have the poetic 'knack' so I truly appreciate (& respect) your feedback. I must confess, I would have to pull up my writing to compare what you have written here in the comments. I'm certain that some lines you are changing from the original but, I'll have to pull them side by side to compare. I would hate to use your words EXACTLY to change my writing though (that seems like 'cheating'), so I'll have to play with the re-writes some time using your 'concepts', but new/my words. And forgive me, but are you 'liking' any of these or only IF they were changed? I know, I know...there I go needing some stroking. No, no,...I'm just curious cuz it's hard to tell... But you DO keep reading, so you must not completely hate them, right? Sorry, now I'm babbling... anyway, Thanks for reading & I LOVE your feedback! Hope to see more from you in my comments boxes (+ I need to catch-up on my reading--including some of your new stuff!)....THANKS!

Good job, I agree, sometimes we need more. We need to know why, we need to be more reassured about love. I've always found love and the reasons surrounding it hard to explain, but everyone really wants more of an explanation. Great job, love it.

AuthorReply

Comment | 20 words

Tue, February 6th, 2007 7:38pm

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked this one! Very glad. Thanks for reading & giving me some feedback--always appreciated!