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November 02, 2012

The Five

After watching WongFu Productions' The Last, I just knew I had to write something similar to it. I really liked the concept and it had me wondering: Who was my Who, What, Where, When, and Why? This was fun to put together. Though I think I didn't do much justice to some of the boys because I'm plain lazy, I'll settle with the thought that I tried. :)

Useless trivia: 4/5 boys can be found on my Facebook. I'm not sure if there's someone out there who can guess who they are correctly. If you can, then you must really know me. Anyway, here it is:

WHO

Who was a guy that caught my
attention the same way a cleverly written novel would. He had a beautiful plot
with a handful of twist and turns. He
always kept me guessing because he was so unpredictable – sometimes he’d
blatantly say what he felt and later on, he’d quietly dissolve into the
background. He intrigued me because of his beautiful mind. I heard a lot of
people who have praised him for his intelligence, so I’m definitely not alone
on this. He was deep and philosophical. Sometimes, people would misunderstand him
because of the way he viewed the world so seriously.

I didn’t find him boring at all
though. I struggled to keep up with him. I knew that somewhere beneath his cold exterior, he had a heart.I would’ve read him forever, but I
knew I never could keep him for myself.

WHAT

What was probably who I’d turn out
to be if ever I was born as a boy. He was stubborn and moody. Also, he had the
same enthusiasm for reading as I did. He and I shared a passion for writing and
this is what brought us closer. During the times when we weren’t separated by
miles of land and water, we constantly fought and argued. I guess this was
because we were so alike. Amidst the tears and verbal banter, we were the best
of friends who exchanged secrets and served as each other’s crying shoulders
during heartbreaks.

Earlier in our friendship, we
actually liked each other but we only found out about this after so many years.
By then, all the romantic possibilities were replaced with platonic feelings.
Never did I regret this though, for I knew I’d rather keep him as a friend.

WHERE

Where was a boy I met during my first year of college in another city. With his buzz cut and goofy grin, he saw the girl who was trying to be invisible in her new surroundings. Though that city was one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been to, I was still plagued by homesickness. What I made everything better was the boy who suddenly just popped out of nowhere to chat with me. I always remember him for being the first boy to ever walk me home, the boy who held his umbrella over my head while I was stuck in the rain.

He will always be a ‘what if'' to me. I often wonder how differently things would’ve turned out if I decided to stay in the city of gentle people.

WHEN

When was the boy who broke my heart
back in high school. He’ll always remind me of butterfly-induced stomachaches, stolen
moments and of course, excruciating pain. He was the first one to make me feel
how warm a boy’s hand could feel like while holding mine.

We started off as good friends, but
it blossomed into something more. He led me on and I was stupid enough to
believe in him. He was a player and he was good at his game. He was capable of
manipulating a girl just by throwing a few metaphor-ridden poems and bits of
purple prose here and there.

Though he broke me far more than
most people know, I still cherish the memories we shared. He was a reminder of
how bittersweet teenage love could be. Whenever I look back on my high school
life, he’ll always be there as a reminder, a lesson – a ghost of my past.

WHY

I think of Why as the boy who I
wronged. Though I sometimes tell myself the opposite, other people have made me
think this way. It all started with a certain gaming console and everything
unfolded from there. He was funny, outgoing and sweet in his own way. He made
me feel special. He made me feel wanted. Everything was great until I started
using my head.

He chastised me because I made
things fall apart by choosing my mind over my heart. Though I was happy, I knew
in the back of my mind that something was definitely wrong. Everything was
going too fast and the rational side of me started setting off alarms. It felt
like waking up from a dream. It turned out that I had this perfect image of him
in my head that caused me to overlook everything else about him, including his
flaws.

He’s the reason why I’m more careful
with my actions and decisions now. I am thankful though, because he showed me how
to love without giving a second thought. It was beautiful, but equally foolish.
He embodied a love that belonged in fantasies.

After the ordeal, I began to realize
that I already had a love that was real
and it was with my first and Last.