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Safaa Boular is the youngest woman to ever be found guilty of terrorism (Photo: Elizabeth Cook/PA Wire)

As a woman, I find I find it a constant challenge to be valued and respected. There’s an image of us that we’re expected to uphold, but having a powerful voice doesn’t seem to fit.

As someone with a multitude of identities, fighting against the expectations, barriers and stereotypes is even tougher.

In my work with Empowering Minds I’ve found that young people have it the hardest – especially girls. In a difficult stage of their life – when they’re still trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do in the world – they have all these expectations thrown at them.

As culture, faith and society collide, they may feel under pressure to be happy, conventionally attractive, strong-minded, feminine, humble, devout, clever, unassuming and more – all at the same time.

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Balancing all those identities is hard, and expecting it is unfair. Reality TV, tabloid media, and the likes of Instagram don’t help either – especially when young girls increasingly feel the need to turn to social media to feel accepted and wanted.

The stereotypes are already there, which makes it even harder to overcome them. However, until we look beyond and start really understanding people, we won’t find solutions to the big challenges we face both as communities and as a country.

How can we stop gangs from preying on young girls, if we don’t listen to why those girls feel so alone?

How can we stop criminals and terrorists from using social issues to corrupt our children, if we don’t start understanding the identity crisis young people are facing?

Let’s use the example of Safaa Boular, the youngest woman ever to be found guilty of terrorism. Last week the 18 year old was sentenced to life imprisonment for planning an attack in the UK.

By their nature, gangs and extremist groups have a strong and defined sense of identity. It’s clear why they can sometimes be attractive to people who aren’t thinking clearly, even if it’s never justifiable.

Boular made her own choices, and what she did was wrong. But it would be short-sighted of us to not think deeply about those why she made those choices. To defeat terrorism, we need to understand it.

Boular’s story of isolation and a broken home speaks volumes about the vulnerabilities some young women face. Of course, not all women will go through the trauma that she did, and of course even most of those that do don’t become terrorists. But that makes it all the more important to understand why this teenage girl did what she did.

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There’s never an excuse or justification for taking the law into your own hands. One of the greatest things about our country is our commitment to democracy; respecting different opinions, and making your voice heard in a peaceful and positive way. That’s what we should be encouraging our young people to do.

It’s important for us to think critically about the complex reasons why people sometimes do the wrong thing. Listening and understanding is what will help us prevent radicalisation, extremism and the tragedies that come next.

In an increasingly uncertain world, young people are looking for a sense of belonging. In my experience, the desire for this is even stronger among women, who have been dictated to for centuries. People from immigrant backgrounds, whose sense of identity can be more complicated, have it even harder.

By their nature, gangs and extremist groups have a strong and defined sense of identity. It’s clear why they can sometimes be attractive to people who aren’t thinking clearly, even if it’s never justifiable.

For their own selfish reasons, these groups are always looking to exploit people’s vulnerabilities. They may want women who can soften their image and make them seem more acceptable. Community is what they try to paint themselves as, but it’s not what they’re actually about.

We have so much strength within us to empower ourselves. And when we need a helping hand, there’s support available too. That’s why it’s vital to use our voices. To speak out and talk about our concerns, all the while helping others to do the same.

That’s how we can challenge gangs and extremists; it’s what community is really about.

Empowering Minds is an organisation specialising in counter-extremism, community engagement, child sexual exploitation, and more.