CEC is straight outta Texas, as is Whole Foods, you dig? Well guess where the shopliftingest Whole Foods in all Christendom is located – that’s right, at Haight and Stanyan. Oh, here it is. I’ll tell you, this woman, you can barely see her** here, stood out amongst the shoppers even before she got frogmarched past the deli counter by four(!) dudes:

So what happened? WF checked its records, checked her for warrants and then set her up with CEC?

“Enquiring” Minds Want To Know.

Here’s what you do, you contact WF and/or the other bidnesses cited by Leon, and then somebody at the SFPD, and maybe somebody at the DA’s office, and then of course Jeff Adachi, you know, for the outrage, and then an actual CEC graduate, and THIS ONE WRITES ITSELF.

*Wow, “alleged” shoplifters, Slate? Like the paramilitaries at Whole Paycheck*** frogmarch away the wrong shoppers all the time? Well, if something like that happens to you, Gentle Reader, then you should tell WF, “I’ll take my chances with the SFPD,” right?

Do you want me to tick off about five reasons it just might possibly be a bad thing to issue a “hilarious” press release after the latest public defender “success,” about why taking a victory lap after every case might not be the best idea?

San Francisco, CA — A 48-year-old man whose attempt to fit in with Castro nudists ended in his arrest was acquitted of indecent exposure following a jury trial, San Francisco Public Defender Jeff Adachi announced today.
Jurors deliberated one day before finding Richard Sierra of San Francisco not guilty Thursday afternoon, said his attorney, Deputy Public Defender Cindy Elias. The misdemeanor charge carried a maximum penalty of a year in jail and Sierra faced lifetime registration as a sex offender if convicted.
Sierra decided to participate for the first time in the “urban nudism” movement in the Castro on the morning Nov. 11, 2012. Over the past several years, a group of nudists, dubbed “the naked guys,” had been drawing increasing attention for congregating in the Castro District.
“At the time Mr. Sierra was arrested, San Francisco supervisors had not yet passed the ban against public nudity,” Elias said. “Until Feb. 1, 2013, it wasn’t a crime to be naked in San Francisco.”
Sierra, an inexperienced nudist, felt self-conscious completely disrobing. Instead, he pulled his pants down to his knees and pulled his tank top to just above his genitals in order to hide scars on his stomach. While many of the longtime Castro nudists wore cock rings, Sierra had only a metal ring from a binder. He attached it to his shirt and looped it around his penis to ensure his scars were covered. Sierra stood in front of Citibank on Castro Street, his genitals exposed.
Meanwhile, a 53-year-old man walking his dog saw Sierra arranging his genitals and flagged down two police officers on bicycles. The dog walker reported that Sierra appeared to be masturbating with personal lubricant.
While being detained, Sierra tried to explain to officers that he was not masturbating. He told them that he wanted to like the “naked guys” but was too shy to embrace total nudity. Sierra asked the officers why they were bothering him while numerous nude men walked around the neighborhood. Sierra was arrested.
During the three day trial, Sierra testified that he was not touching himself for sexual gratification and that he did not have personal lubricant – only a prescription cream for his chronic eczema. He did not apply the cream to his genitals, he testified, noting that he uses the medication sparingly due to its cost of $100.
Police did not book any of Sierra’s items into evidence, nor attempt to collect cell phone photographs taken by numerous passersby.
Rusty Mills, a well-known nudist activist, took the stand as an expert witness in the case. Mills testified to the various purposes of cock rings other than for sexual purposes.
Sierra, who had no history of sexual crimes, wept with relief when the jury returned its verdict, Elias said.
Jeff Adachi commended jurors for looking beyond first impressions in the case.
“Mr. Sierra was arrested at a time when public nudity was common and went unpunished in the Castro. Mr. Sierra’s failed attempt at being a nudist certainly does not warrant lifetime registration as a sex offender,” Adachi said.”

You can check it out it at the Masonic Trader Joe’s from atop the Geary Tunnel:

Click to expand

Now I think the SFPOA’s old slogan was “Double Dipping 4 Ever – It’s Our Way of Life.” But, as you can see, it’s now, “THEY WORK TO MAKE YOUR DAY.”

Get it? “Make your day?” I get it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!. You so cray-cray Gary Delagnes! (But hey Gare-Bear, do the Warner Brothers know what you’re doing with their Dirty Harry catchphrase? Just asking, Bro.)

Anywho, here it is on the YouTube. I think it’s entitled “More Money for Us, Less Money for You.”

What’s coming up next week from this campaign? These are my guesses:

“Here are six different reasons why Public Defender Jeff Adachi totally sucks.”

Here’s a fresh one. (Actually, it’s two statements, two statements in one.)

The first issue is the “Big Six” presser coming up on the steps of City Hall this AM (starring Mayoral candidates Jeff Adachi, Michela Alioto-Pier, John Avalos, Dennis Herrera, Joanna Rees, and Leland Yee) and the second is explained in the link below.

Enjoy:

“Statement from David Chiu

SAN FRANCISCO (November 3, 2011): David Chiu, President of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors and candidate for Mayor, made the following statement this morning about today’s attack by the Lee campaign in the San Francisco Chronicle (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/11/03/BA2J1LPOIF.DTL) and the scheduled joint press conference this morning at 10am:

“I’m not running for Mayor just to stop another candidate – I’m running because I believe I am the right person to keep this City moving forward. With so little time remaining in this campaign, voters deserve to hear what we’re for, not who we’re against.”

“While I’m disappointed that Mayor Lee’s campaign decided to launch a convoluted attack against me and a well-respected Congresswoman today, I’m not going to take the bait. While I agree that investigations and election monitors are warranted given the conduct of the Mayor’s supporters, I declined the invitation to participate in the press conference this morning. I think San Franciscans deserve better – a campaign where we talk about the issues that matter instead of tearing each other down – and that’s what I’m going to offer them for the next five days.”

“I am confident that when I put my record of results, my vision for the future, and my commitment to ethical, independent leadership up against Ed Lee – or any other candidate – that I can win this race on the merits alone.”

###

Paid for by David Chiu for Mayor 2011, P.O. Box 641541, San Francisco, CA 94164, FPPC##1337108″

Well, a large crowd showed for today’s noontime rally in support of City Attorney and mayoral candidate Dennis Herrera. It came in reaction to this bit from John Coté and Heather Knight in yesterday’s San Francisco Chronicle.

Consider this rally, complete with pretty much all of Gay San Francisco (gee, who wasn’t there?), a strong retort.

2 of 4 – Assemblymember Tom Ammiano: “WTF, Chronicle?” (Ouch.) And then, on a different tack: “I think we all know who was doing it.” Uh, would that be Ed Lee? And do you think Tom’s talking about Ed Lee here? “…Healthy San Francisco, supporting it, not trying to decimate it. Honoring Occupy San Francisco and their ability to mediate and to collaborate. How about some fucking leadership?”

And check out Cleve Jones at around 8:00: “And finally, to Ed Lee, whose campaign began with a lie [and] is ending with a lie. And in between the lies, what did we see but cronyism, fake grass-roots organizations coming out of nowhere, vote tampering like we haven’t seen in a long, long time, money laundering, and now we’re ending with a big lie, a slur against Dennis Herrera. And how stupid do you think we are? Please.”

SAN FRANCISCO (Oct. 27, 2011) — Leaders in the LGBT community and marriage equality movement including Senator Mark Leno, Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, Supervisor Scott Wiener, Molly McKay, Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, Cleve Jones, Julius Turman, Reese Isbell, representatives from both the Alice B. Toklas and Harvey Milk LBGT Democratic Clubs, and a growing list of others will hold a news conference to defend City Attorney Dennis Herrera’s consistent record of support for marriage equality.

The news conference at noon today is in response to political attacks published in the San Francisco Chronicle yesterday from anonymous sources who questioned City Attorney Dennis Herrera’s commitment to marriage equality.

LGBT Community Press Conference

Harvey Milk Plaza, Castro and Market

TODAY — Thursday, Oct. 27, 12:00 noon

Below is a letter issued yesterday from Phyllis Lyon, the LGBT civil rights pioneer. Lyon and her late wife, Del Martin, were the first same-sex couple married in San Francisco.”

With less than two weeks until Election Day, a petty smear campaign is underway to personally discredit City Attorney Dennis Herrera over his years of work for marriage equality. Incredibly, despite all the heroic efforts of Dennis and his office right from the start, anonymous sources have pushed a story in the San Francisco Chronicle that Dennis wasn’t “supportive” of Mayor Newsom’s decision to issue same-sex marriage licenses back in February 2004. It’s not true. These politically motivated attackers are hoping we’ll forget the years of hard work Dennis and his deputies invested — and continue to invest even now, in the federal challenge to Prop 8 — for LGBT equality.

My late wife, Del Martin, and I were the first same-sex couple married back in 2004.

So I remember the heartfelt and tireless work that Dennis, Chief Deputy City Attorney Terry Stewart, and the City Attorney’s Office committed to defend our marriage from day one. Yes, it was an uphill battle. We all knew it, and we all expressed doubts. But that doesn’t mean we weren’t “supportive” of marriage equality!

That’s why these anonymous political attacks are such an outrage.

It’s not just insulting to a good man and longtime LGBT ally. It insults the intelligence of LGBT voters who know that Dennis has been a consistent and effective champion for our community for years:

In the 1990s, as Police Commission President, Dennis established groundbreaking protocols to require police to treat transgender detainees with the dignity and respect they deserve.

Dennis successfully defended our landmark Equal Benefits Ordinance in his first years as City Attorney, finally defeating challengers who opposed domestic partner benefits.

In 2002, Dennis and the Assessor ended tax re-assessments homeowners faced after the death of a domestic partner — so LGBT survivors on fixed incomes wouldn’t lose their homes.

Dennis’s heart has always been with us. That’s why he was elected and re-elected City Attorney with overwhelming LGBT community support. That’s why he’s now the only candidate for Mayor endorsed by both the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club (#1) and the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club (#2).

Dennis Herrera never shrank from defending the LGBT community — not once. Now, it’s our turn to defend him.

So, uh, who’s the “political genius” who thought it was a good idea for former Gavin Newsom staffers to go to the Chron a few days back?

Because this whole affair, well, it’s not good for Ed Lee.

Not good at all…

*I swear, I don’t really get photojournalism and that sole shot presented is a good example of why. It doesn’t really transmit all that much info, it doesn’t really show who was there, and it’s not arty or anything. But it does juxtapose “applause” and “Herrera” so I guess that’s telling stories with photos and I guess that’s what PJ is supposed to be about. I suppose. (Is that day’s work, BTW?) Anyway, I prefer the camera-held-level-at-two-yards-altitude, you-are-there look.

Re: Request for federal observers and election monitors in San Francisco

Dear Assistant Attorney General Perez and Secretary of State Bowen:

We write to bring to your attention news reports and accompanying videos that may indicate violations of federal and state laws intended to protect voting rights and to assure the integrity of our electoral process.

In light of published accounts in the San Francisco Chronicle* and Bay Citizen** about electioneering activities by the SF Neighbor Alliance for Ed Lee for Mayor 2011, we request that your respective offices immediately detail federal observers and state election monitors for San Francisco’s mayoral election, which is currently underway.

According to these published accounts, these electioneering activities target Cantonese speaking voters in San Francisco, and may potentially impinge on their federally protected voting rights, and also violate provisions of the California Elections Code and other laws.

• Testimony and video evidence that SF Neighbor Alliance for Ed Lee for Mayor 2011 staff employed plastic stencils and handled absentee ballots in such a manner as to prevent voters from marking their ballots for other mayoral candidates.

• Testimony that SF Neighbor Alliance for Ed Lee for Mayor 2011 staff, as apparently ineligible third parties, received and collected into plastic bags voted ballots from voters, taking ballots into their possession.

• Testimony and video evidence that SF Neighbor Alliance for Ed Lee for Mayor 2011 staff interfered with the secrecy of voting. If true, these allegations and other conduct may violate the U.S. Voting Rights Act of 1965, and California Election Code provisions pertaining to electioneering, corruption of voting, the Voter Bill of Rights, and other laws.

Given their gravity, the importance of protecting voting rights, and assuring voter confidence in our electoral processes, we believe federal observers and election monitors are immediately warranted, and that further investigation by your respective offices would be well advised.

Sincerely,

Jeff Adachi, Public Defender

Michela Alioto-Pier, Small Businesswoman and Mother

John Avalos, Supervisor, District 11

David Chiu, President, Board of Supervisors

Dennis Herrera, City Attorney

Joanna Rees, Entrepreneur/Educator

Leland Yee, State Senator

cc: U.S. Attorney Melinda Haag San Francisco District Attorney George Gascón