"O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count myself
a king of infinite space,
were it not that I have bad dreams."
- Hamlet
Act II scene ii

24 July 2009

Pigsick

Don't worry. It is a proven medical fact that computer users cannot contract swine flu by visiting the website of an infected blogger. For someome who has been outrageously healthy for over fifty years, it's hard to believe the last twelve months. Last August, I picked up a rare and deadly strain of e-coli, whilst on holiday in Turkey. Only heavy duty antibiotics could save me. Then there were all those weeks of waiting for my urethrotomy operation in early June and now - would you believe it - since I "retired" from work a week ago, I have been suffering from symptoms which leave me and my nurse (wife) in little doubt that I have been and still am infected with the H1N1 influenza virus - swine flu.Headache, excessive tiredness, sore throat, sneezing, production of nasty phlegm, cough, achey limbs - if it's not swine flu then it's all a huge co-incidence. On the new Pandemic website, my responses to the sequence of questions asked drew that selfsame conclusion and indicated that I should go to an antiviral medication collection point with my unique patient reference number. Trouble is the website seemed to have an irritating glitch because it could only reveal the address of one antiviral centre in Sheffield - miles away at Wincobank. And why would I need the addresses of similar collection points in York and Scarborough?

Each morning this week I have woken hoping that I would notice significant improvement but to be honest it's been a week of false dawns and physical lethargy. Perhaps tomorrow - Saturday - I will feel a bit better. If it goes on much longer I will be developing bristles, a snout, and a corkscrew tail - which - when I think about it - could be handy in an emergency.

8 comments:

I've been waiting for a blogger pal to turn into a pig...not to worry, I have the bookings at the abattoir sorted and am just deciding on whether the belly should be in strips or as a scored joint. I'll be the one in the grubby 4X4 with the trailer tacked on behind. (That'll improve your ailment no end). (Get better soon!)

It's probably because your immune system is low due to stress at work. It often happens that you carry on OK while you're in the situation and then your body 'collapses' once you are out of it (if you see what I mean.) Hope you will soon be better.

I hope you feel better soon. The experts do say it only lasts a few days. Fingers crossed. Oh my the way, coughing, sneezing and nasty phlegm is my cross to bear but it's due to hay fever which I've never had before. Ever!

MOPSA Your sensitivity to my poorly condition is so touchingly understated.JENNYTA Such a thought had occurred to me.RHYMES Thank you for your sympathy.VALERIE Sorry the hay fever has finally got you. I'd heard that this allergy may hit people in middle age. The Lord clearly had you in his sights.SAM Stay away from pork chops? Okay man. Bacon and sausages will have to do instead.

Y.Pud., I am SO sorry to hear that you have got this wretched virus. Hope you feel much better soon.Thank you very much for your lovely comments over at mine.Congratulations once again on your retirement. Think of all that time lying ahead of you and you can choose what to do. Bliss!

Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.