Monday, March 12, 2007

Ok,all cribbing and no stuff in the post,so those who are busy can come back later for a decent post and others can go and read:))))

And this is to inform that i reached the city a week back and No,i have not been anywhere out,all i did was setting up the house and making my own comfort zone and staying in there,I am not happy being here and even though i have a lot of friends i dont feel like going out or meeting anyone,All i did was to watch TV,Movies,cook and cook and cook more for hubby and his friends and sleep whenever i have nothing else to do,I have never been so free in my life and its already getting on to my nerves and i screamed at hubby twice in a day and told him that i hate him {well,not really} but then i am just not ready to adjust to this new city and i miss my good old leisurely and quiet middle class neighborhood in hyderabad,I miss the autowalas,the sabziwali,the servant and dammit,i dont find proper milk also here {i hate packet or bottled milk}And in this three story flats i am yet to see any of my neighbors,infact i have not seen anyone next doors opening their doors even once but i am assured by the owner that the flat is indeed let out to a couple,Huh!!!!!!!!!I got invited by friends to meet up at Forum,Central,Pizzahut and Barista and i declined not so politely,No i am not interested in watching all those crowds and traffic and no parking boards, and i am yet to venture out to make peace with this city,i found a park near by and maybe i will go there today but then its a maybe,because i hate changes and this is the biggest change after my wedding and i DONT LIKE IT AT ALL.and for a millionth time i got an sms again from a friend "Welcome to Bangalore" Huh!!!!!!!!,the tears start flowing and hubby is rushing to book a flight ticket for hyderabad,but then i know i need to spend my time here for atleast a year or maybe another 5 or 10yrs,oh god,help me making peace with this crazy city:(

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I spoke about it last year too and i am ready to do it again,i am Talking about Blank Noise Project,How did you retaliate? being helpless wont help you,and as i always said,dont be a victim,no one has a right to do anything to you,fight back and in whatever way you can,protest and it sure helps.

January 2007,i was walking back from the college where i had gone for a guest lecture,Auto strike and my house was two km away,a narrow lane in Mehadipatnam,Hyderabad and being new to those lanes i asked help from a stranger who was fiddling with his phone standing with his bike at the pavement.all i wanted to know was if that particular lane leads to VijayNagar colony and he said yes and even while i thanked him and started walking away he offered me a lift which i rejected only to realize that he is following me and kept pestering and the lane was all quite in the mid afternoon and there was a huge MCH park to one side and a building at construction to other side,and when i yelled at him and tried walking away he just cut my path with his bike and held my hand and in a few sec my mobile fell down and so did my handbag,and i just punched on his face,Yes,i did and even when he lost his balance and fell down along with the bike i just walked around and hit him hard on his face and he did try hurting me and by then a few people passing through the lane stopped and tried beating him up and the Bastard had the guts to say that he was innocent and was only trying to help me,by then someone called the police and half an hour later i walked back home all the way.Called hubby who was in some other city and he was shell shocked and took the next flight to be home in three hours only to see me sleeping sound.Why was i not scared? asked him.Was i not? ofcourse i was,but then i know not to be a victim,i learnt it as a kid and i follow it till i live,for him it was a first instance where a women had to handle such a situation,his family is protective about daughters and mostly women are escorted when going out and many of them stay home {what a luxury} but for me this is how i survived my childhood or college days.

I had no choice,my mom couldn accompany me for my morning 5am classes or night 10pm home coming in a bus,i had to walk back a km daily to reach home,and being a single parent is not an easy job,and she did her best,she gave me one line which i follow till date "fight but never giveup without trying,you can always help yourself,just try" and i do.I do wish i had my father to drop me at college,bring me back from classes,escort me to picnics and movies,but i learnt living on my own and fighting back eve teasing or those good for nothing idiots on roads which think women are a commodity.Hubby said "i am proud of you" oh,thankyou,so am I. and amma said "Thank god it was you at that moment,what would happen if it were someone who dint know how to fight back?" I hope not,yes,even i think i thanked god for a moment that it happened to me instead of someone who could have been helpless,but i wish and hope there were no helpless victims.I tell my students also,tears will never solve any problem in this world and there is no problem without a solution either,dont stop yourself from doing things just because you are worried about the big bad world outside,being secure is good,enjoy it while it lasts,but when it comes to surviving on your own be ready to do so,Help yourself and the world will salute you,more than anything you will understand your own worth"Happy women's day world,I am proud to be a woman and when i have a daughter i will tell her how precious it is to be a woman.