Parents as tutors: Author offers instruction

October 11, 2011|By Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy, Special to Tribune Newspapers

Tutoring your child does not mean greeting him in the morning with flashcards, says Marina Koestler Ruben, author of "How to Tutor Your Own Child: Boost Grades and Inspire a Lifelong Love of Learning — Without Paying for a Professional Tutor" (Ten Speed Press). It means you realize that you as a parent are best positioned to boost your child's intellect in enjoyable ways.

Ruben, an in-house tutor at Sidwell Friends School in Washington, D.C., which the Obama daughters attend, has tutored students of varied backgrounds for more than a decade.

"Parents have an advantage over professional tutors. They get a sense of how their children learn, in a way a professional never would," Ruben said.

Tutoring is not forced drills, but a combination of homework help, strengthening weaker skills and enrichment. We asked Ruben to offer a little more insight.

Q: I don't know how to teach. How can I tutor?

A: Teaching and tutoring are different. A teacher presents material. A tutor checks to see if the child has understood. A big part of a tutor's job is helping a child learn how to learn, to come up with techniques to retain and clarify information.

Q: What tips might I adopt from professional tutors?

A: Show your child you love learning. You want your child to take on that feeling. Be calm. If the child has delayed or procrastinated, respond calmly to help him come up with a plan. Break down big tasks.

Q: What if I don't know the subject?

A: It depends on the kind of help your child needs. Ask to see his notes to refresh your memory. Talk yourself through them as he observes. Prompt him to explain them. Sometimes just reviewing his notes, which students may overlook as a means of studying, will be enough for him to grasp the concept.

If it's something like a specific math problem, it's appropriate to seek outside help. Help your child find the proper resource. Walk him back through his notes, or guide him to similar problems in his textbook. Direct him to write the problem to ask a teacher, look it up online, or contact a student who succeeded in the class. Parents can contact a college or graduate student if it's high-level math or science. It's still cheaper than hiring a pro.

Q: I've got the basics to tutor: a large surface with equal access for me and my child, and the supplies. Now what?

A: A formal session follows six steps. 1. Give your child your undivided attention. 2. Open the session with an encouraging statement. 3. Ask what's new in the subject since you last met. 4. Ask what's happening now in his class. That's your work for this session. 5. Ask what's next, to plan for upcoming assignments or exams. 6. End on a positive note. You want your child to leave feeling empowered.