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filling the cracks

It’s only since last September that I started to seriously experiment with art, create, play and lose myself in the magical sphere of creative expression. I dedicated a room, proudly calling it my studio. I bought decent acrylic paints… heaps of it. I started with a tiny easel, portable and light, which became too little. My husband then made me a strong easel and an art table. I created that space, knowing very deep that I was going to dive into it…

it?

ART! ART! ART!

Creating, painting, drawing, trying things, learning, copying, stealing ideas, experimenting, mixing things, getting frustrated but persevering, trying new things, getting more frustrated, despairing, finding hope, feeling joyful, and learning new skills of course in the process… but also learning to go deeper, to get closer to the cracks, to just be near them without being overwhelmed.

We were reflecting on what this did to my soul… What art does to us…

We all have some cracks in our heart, in our soul. Some hidden pain, some weird shapes, stain of darkness, that remain there…despite the years and the healing work. Childhood wounding, trauma, or simple process of growing up within a family! I know my cracks; and really thought that I would stay ‘this way’ for my entire life.

Creating art fills the cracks…

it’s like going deep into your heart, checking those cracks, taming them and then working with the blank space, as the negative space in art, by using it as a real tool to make your drawing or painting stronger; with highlights and shades and black! After a while, it seems that the cracks, still present, are filled… the empty spaces that you were aware in the past aren’t empty anymore. The things you so wanted to comprehend are at peace somehow!

This image below came to my mind while writing this. Filling the cracks with gold. One of those things that art does.