1) watching this movie was an excellent study on isolation, the effects media has on it and connection or, to be more precise DISconnection, because of it. and not just for the main characters but the supporting ones too. cos there's this one dude who's in it and is completely in another atmosphere than his family and it's only one scene and very quick but contributes to the overall message of the movie. he even utters the words: 'best of both worlds you got exactly what you want!' to his kid as Brandon (that's Fassy's characters name) overhears. and the crap that is going on in his face is WHY ARE YOU A TORTURED SOUL?

2) half the time you don't know what's going on because they DON'T TELL YOU ANYTHING and you just kind of have to guess at the history and subtleties that are at play (which honestly read to me like jealousy and longing but i think it's really about not being able to access each other through communicative means) and as much as i hate Fassy he pulls that off very nicely and WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOUR SISTER LIKE THAT SIR! SHE. IS. YOUR. SISTER. there's a weird vibe between the two and it may just come from a result of two people coming out of a very broken place and escaping it in two very different ways yet being constantly confronted with it when in each others presence. they're tethered to the shared traumatic experience and obviously can't let go because of it. and he's very volatile (especially towards her) and closed off to any kind of real shared intimacy even tho you see him in this state of confusion and his fucked up POV on the world where everything is about sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex and not really about love. you see him struggle to control his addiction and it kind of breaks his psyche as he tries to be 'normal'. it's painful to watch. he's desperate for a real connection to something meaningful and he just. can't. the emotional exposure is raw and much more shocking than any of the physicality in the movie.

3) CAREY MULLIGAN HAS A STUPID FACE AND WHY AM I COMPELLED TO WATCH ANYTHING SHE'S IN?!?!? HER FACE IS EVIL! PURE EVIL MADE BY THE DEVIL HIMSELF. SHE IS THE DEVIL'S CHILD AND her performance as a needy wanting open creature that is the complete opposite of Brandon foils and enables brilliantly in this movie. they both OBVIOUSLY lack the tools to carry on an intimate long lasting relationship with anyone including each other and she obviously wants to connect with him but they both push each other to the opposite of what they expect from one another and it lacks any sort of normality. or maybe it does. because one's normal is never another's. but, i want her story. i want the parallel movie of what happens to Sissy and what her shame is. if it's the opposite of Brandon then it must be giving herself away TOO MUCH. i want her darkness to shine because UGH HER STUPID FACE GIMME THE DIRTY HOPELESS ABSENCE OF LIGHT. i'm having a hard time separating Mulligan from her characters because she just BECOMES and inhabits whatever skin she puts on and why does hollywood insist on casting her in these demure little nice roles. she's far more than that. she needs to be in all the things.

4) the photography in this movie is hnng. i mean there are long looooooooong takes and it uses NY as not just a backdrop to the story but kind of to illustrate the theme of the story. millions of people all living in their bubbles and unable to connect in real ways.

overall the movie leaves you wanting more because there's not much in the way of explaining the WHY of it all. that's a big thing for me, the WHY, so i was feeling a little bereft. but, the performances were just freaking. AMAZEBALLS.