#okso#itsmybirthday#thedirtythirty#lesigh#thisisme#nolonger#twentysomething#sadface this #birthday was... #emotional and the days not even over yet. It's been one of those #tragic birthdays where you question all your life choices and sob uncontrollably at your very confused boyfriend and ask if birthday breakfast wine was a thing... My mom visited. And offered to watch the kids while we grocery shopped #oohlala#timealone#hottotrot at #walmart you know, the most #excitingHaving a break from the kids to interact with Dan and feel like myself was a nice change. I'm so wound up with the kids, I'm always worried about what they're thinking or doing or need or could potentially need shortly. When I went to Walmart with him I actually had zero #panicattacks (nowadays when I leave the apartment I go through 3-5+, full blown, sweat, heart racing, can't breathe) sometimes it's so bad my eyes are affected, and I actually have #sensory#overload where I feel like I'm on drugs. It's wild.. This has been a draining year, I can only hope to move forward better this year than I entered it last. This year I stretched my ears bigger than I ever thought I would, I pierced my septum & never thought I would. I cut and dyed my hair, I never thought I would. I started tattooing myself, I never thought I would. I've learned to cook a million times better cause of my chef hubby. Hubby bought me a car I just need to get ass on the road again, I wasn't sure I'd ever really drive again #tbhI wonder what thirty has waiting for me. Twentynine was some #crayshit