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1/12/16

I've not been here in a while, and it's because I spent the past year writing a lot for other people's blogs (see sidebar) and also working on my writing in various other avenues. The time has come for me to leave Sadiedeluxe. Sadiedeluxe is always going to be a big part of me, and it certainly feels like my alterego/super-hero name, but from now on I'm just going to write as myself. I'm not going to write about clothing or selling clothing, I'm just going to write.

Come over there and read! Sign up for my email list if you want to stay really connected and up to date. You can comment here if you want to be on my list, or you can just fill out the pop-up form on my new site.

It's been a great 8 (??) years over here at Blogspot. I've seen the internet change in many ways, and the blogosphere has evolved a lot since I first joined it.

8/17/15

As always, things are changing. We know this. We learn over and over to embrace change, to roll with it, to allow it in and out at leisure.

At the end of last month, I closed my brick and mortar shop in Paradise. I intended to announce it earlier, but I was wrapped up in event planning and pop-up shops, and everything happened so fast.

To my lovely and loyal community of customers in Paradise, thank you. My endeavor as a shop owner on Skyway was rewarding and exciting, and sometimes I thought I might just settle down on that little ridge and own a shop forever. As it turns out, other things are calling to me. I built that shop at a time when I needed it. It gave me things and taught me things. I gave it some things, too, though I couldn’t quite give it everything it needed. Or rather, I didn’t want to. When I first landed in Paradise, it was a time of rebuilding and recovery. The shop was part of that. I’m really glad I opened that little store. Building a place where I could literally open my door to community and opportunity changed my life.

Now the tides of truth continue to pull at me, as they always do, and summer brought swift changes on its wings. I have done my best to surrender to it and get out of its way so that the river can flow as it needs to. When I listened carefully, I knew it was time to close the door. Freedom comes in many forms.

After nearly a decade of selling vintage, I’m finally shifting into writing more and more. This past year I’ve worked hard at it, and it’s been paying off. So now I’ll be writing a lot and working hard on creating a life full of ever-more creativity, love, and adventure. And I’ll be raising my baby, as I always do, (and who is nothing close to a baby anymore). The gradual shift from parenting a small child to a parenting a large child has been subtle yet profound.

This is it. The story continues. Thank you to all of you who have found me and followed me; to you who read my stories and tell me how they make you feel; to those of you who have helped me and worked for me, and those of you who bought things from my tiny storefront. Thank you especially to those who have been following me since the beginning, since I first started my blog in Portland in a second-floor bedroom with creaky wooden floors while my toddler slept on my bed.

If you need anything written, email me and I can help you. Literally, anything.

I will continue to chronicle my adventures, as I always do, on social media and online. (As usual, I will continue to have my hands and heart in various creative projects and collaborations to continue my pursuit of happiness). Follow me on Facebook and Instagram to keep in touch.

7/1/15

I know my past two blog entries have been about the heat, but when you live somewhere like this, it's all about the heat, all summer long. It's the kind of heat that hits you hard when you walk out the door, thick and alive, powerful and real. It's the kind of heat to which you can only surrender: your body takes on a new way of being, and the sweat is constant and real. I love how my inner-summer-animal is re-born each year, and living in such high temperatures changes the way I think, the way I move, the way I live out each day.

A few weeks ago, when it was hot-but-not-this-hot, I got together with fab photog Mariamma and one of my fave local babe models (thanks ladies!) to do a quick photoshoot for some new products in my shop and for some Skyline Fever tee shirts.

We got together on a Sunday at Great State Coffee Company (a local coffee-roasting company), who were kind enough to let us take over their facility for a few hours for the sake of fashion and photography. The result is no less than stunning. A lot of these photos will be showing up on the new Skyline Fever website soon, so keep an eye out.

6/12/15

Today in Chico it is supposed to reach a high of 108 degrees. In Paradise, on the ridge where I live, it's only supposed to reach 102. I can tell it's going to be a scorcher because already at 9 am, the heat outside my door is just the slightest bit uncomfortable. It's a day where you have to shut your doors and windows, against all instincts that tell you to fling them open. It's simply too hot. My cool tile floor will make it to about 4 or 5 pm, at which point it will succumb to the heat, and my little house will finally settle and melt into it, just like the rest of the world.

I'm organizing this morning and today is Asher's last day of school. I have to run errands, find last minute parts for his costume in his play tonight, and do one million other things that I can't think of. Oh well. The past couple years, I've gotten a lot better at not caring as much about things I can't get done. C'est la vie. For real.

So far today I've eaten an apricot, several cherries, and had a cup of coffee. I'm about to brush my hair (an undertaking) and shower and then go be in the heat. I think tomorrow I'm going to run off to the woods for a night with my honey and sleep under the stars.

Summer Goals:

Go to the Tuesday market often. Buy lots of stone fruit and hand out postcards for my shop

6/8/15

Hey guys, I'm here again. I couldn't go away forever, I guess, and I got some special reminders of that lately -- so thank you to all who love me and you handful of ladies who have been reading this blog for years and years. It's such a trip to have this digital track record of how much I shift and change, but here it is. I'll appreciate it while it's still around, I guess.

Do you like my new blog header? I'm completely obsessed with my hand-carved stamp from Anne, and I've been using it on everything for my business. It's perfect. Sometimes the best things come from the simplest places. Thank you, Anne!

Here's what I've been up to, and I'll expand more soon:

Working on my shop, which is breathing and growing and teaching me things every day

Building a new online shop, a hefty project but I'm determined

Writing a lot, for Annapurna Living and The Bohemian Collective

Being in love

Learning new things

Remembering old things

Trying to be myself more and more each day and love myself for it

How about you?

Right now it's almost 1 am and I know I'll be kicking myself tomorrow for staying up so late, but oh well. I've had the best night of organizing, cleaning, cutting up old t-shirts, re-vamping my blog, and eating brownies in my underwear. I went to Lake Tahoe this weekend and rolled home today at 2 pm to 96 degrees at home. So I stripped down as soon as I could and indulged in the Sunday heat. It's been a real pleasure, I tell you. The heat is difficult if you have to get things done, but if you can be leisurely, it's really quite nice.

Tomorrow is Monday, though, and the last week of school for Asher. And then it's summer vacation. And time keeps moving on, no matter what. And so we might as well enjoy it and steep in the awe and wonder of being here at all.

More soon, I promise. Tell me what you're up to right now, now that it's June.

2/18/15

I'm a little ways in to my laser hair removal journey, so I want to update you guys about it. Last time I talked about why I decided to start with laser hair removal and my history with years and years of waxing. I just went in for my first session and everything was better than I even imagined. Urban Med Spa is beautiful, the staff is sweet and gorgeous, and they answered any questions I had before we began. Though I had minimal questions and concerns, I was interested to learn about the laser and how it functions -- primarily that it targets through the dermal layer and finds the dark follicle beneath the surface. For this reason, it's best to be clean-shaven before you get a laser treatment, so that the laser seeks deeper targeting for the pigment of the hair. This alone already makes it more convenient than waxing, which demands a certain level of hair growth.

My experience during the actual treatment was stellar. The pain level was super low, and I had zero irritation afterwards. They told me to keep an eye on redness and sensitivity, but I really didn't have any. This was new for me, as a bikini wax generally leaves me feeling extremely tender for about 24 hours. Suffice it to say, my first laser session was a piece of cake. Truly a pleasure, especially with the lavish and lovely accommodations and Urban Med Spa.

The beautiful waiting room at the spa

Watch my video to hear more about the experience, and stay tuned for further adventures. I am so glad I finally took the plunge and decided to move forward with laser hair removal. This is going to be a very sound investment for me and my skin.

My other videos can be viewed here. If you live in Chico, check out Urban Med Spa for any skin care or rejuvenation needs. I think it's really important to take care of our bodies and spirits in this way, especially with how busy and full life gets as it moves on and on.

1/30/15

I could blog one million times about Love: the endless forms in which it comes, the endless feelings it instills in all of us, the art that is born from it. Lately I've been swearing I will write more about love from the perspective of motherhood, and particularly, single motherhood. I will, you'll see. Soon there will be things to read about it. In the meantime, I have photos for you. I love photographs, the moments they capture, the emotions they recreate. Sometimes a photograph can evoke an emotion that no one in the actual photograph was even feeling.

A couple weeks ago, I went with a few friends out to Bald Rock to take photos. My girlfriend and I hauled out several pounds of clothing for the event, and two of our friends photographed us. We used an iPad as a mirror and set up camp on top of the big granite boulders. We brought a thermos full of chai tea, a little bit of makeup, and plenty of outfit changes. It ended up being invigorating and fun, and we got hundreds of great photos on top of it all. There's something about wrangling a crew of people together for a successful photoshoot that thrills me. It's one of my favorite ways to create art, and it's no easy task. When the elements all align and everyone is finally in that car on the way to the location and all the cameras are functioning and coffee is in hand....It's so satisfying. Inevitably it is also exhausting, but in that really good way.

I've selected quite a few photos to share with you here, but there are so many more I could post. It was hard to narrow it down. I'll probably do a follow up post when I get the photos from the second photographer. These were all taken by our friend Mike Edwards.

If you have never been to Bald Rock and you live in this area, you need
to go. It's breathtaking and remarkable. Sunset at Bald Rock is nothing
short of a religious experience, and if you decide to stay for it, make
sure you bring flashlights as it gets dark fast and you want to be able
to find your way back to your car.

Here's to love, adventures, great views, pretty pictures, and running around barefoot on granite rocks.

1/16/15

Time for another video blog! I know it's been a while, but I'm getting back on the train and I'm going to get good at this, I know it. I'm at the age now where I'm starting to feel like "whoa technology! where are you going!? wait for meeeee!" and I'm also feeling a little bit like "DON'T FAIL ME NOW, COLLAGEN."

Quite possibly, you know these feelings.

I am still young by many definitions, but as I plunge solidly and definitively into my 30s, a few things are different and some perspectives have changed. First of all, I think I more accurately understand the brevity of life. It used to loom before me like an endless road, and now I feel much differently about it. It's so short. Like I've said before, there's no time to hate ourselves or our bodies and no time to be an asshole about anything, really. Enjoy this shit and do what you love because (and I'm sorry to sound like such a cliché here, but...) time will run out.

That being said, this is a year for me to take risks. What I really mean by this is that it's time for me to do what I don't usually do. This is the quickest route to creativity and also a more certain route to fulfillment. We won't get anywhere sitting around wishing for things, you know?

One small thing I'm starting with is (drumroll....) LASER HAIR REMOVAL! Finally. Finally finally finally. I've been wishing for this for years, as I've been fighting epic battles with unwanted hair ever since puberty hit (and that was a long time ago). While I consider myself a seasoned expert in the culture of hair removal, I've always fantasized about Laser because of the time and money I've spent on hundreds of waxing appointments over the years. So, I'm finally doing it. I'll be going to a local spa in Chico called Urban Med Spa, where I've gotten a few massages (amazing) and where I feel very comfortable with the staff and the space (if you remember, space is very important to me).

I'm going to blog about my experience as time goes on, and I have a feeling it's going to be well worth it. My glorious Romanian genes are wonderful and also have given me relentless hair follicles. What ultimately catalyzed my decision was that I noticed my skin suffering from my waxing appointments (see: don't fail me now, collagen) and it was having a harder time recovering from the brutal shock of the strips being pulled off. Falling in line behind my mother, her mother, and the millions of other women that spend countless hours and dollars trying to "save our skin," I decided it was time to change things.

I'm starting with my bikini line and I'll take it from there. I've been waxing my underarms and bikini line since I was around age 16, so it's been awhile. It's time to change it up.

Here's my first video, and I will post a couple more as the process goes on. Don't worry, I'm not giving you any visuals of the actual treatment, I'm just going to mostly talk about it in great detail so that you can get the inside scoop on the treatment and my process.

1/13/15

As I'm writing this, we are 13 days into 2015. So far I'm loving it. I spent the first couple days of the new year in Tahoe with my mom. It was cold and beautiful and we drank lots of tea and very boozy egg nog. Once we got home, school and work started almost immediately, and so Asher and I got back in the swing. I packed up the Christmas decorations, vacuumed the house, and wrote out my to-do lists.

I hiked out to Bald Rock with some friends for a photoshoot and a glorious sunset.

I've been exercising a lot. I've been trying to be a more intelligent Tweeter. No more Etsy listing tweets. I also started using GoodReads on my phone. AMAZING!! Send me your recs, ladies.

I checked out a ton of books from the library; my goal is to revisit several classics in order to....well, I don't know. Revisit them, I guess. Honestly, I'm not that into classics (gasp!). We shall see how this adventure goes.

My best friend from Portland came to visit for 3 days and we layed in bed, cooked food, played catch with Asher, and went shopping. It was amazing.

This week is already halfway done, as is this month. Good things are afoot. I am excited for the unfolding of this year, the changes it will bring, and the fire building in my heart.

1/8/15

This is a story that I originally read on Facebook, written and posted by my friend Kadhi (who I blogged about a while ago, here) about the birth of her second child, Rumi Zara. I was incredibly moved by her well-written story, and it left me feeling like I wanted to have another baby asap! I asked her if we could post the story on my blog so that I could share it with mothers beyond Facebook, and she's shared it with me to post for all of you. Thank you to Kadhi for sharing these words and photos.

(December 19, 2014)

In
this very hour exactly one year ago Josh and I welcomed Rumi Zara into
this world. The birth journey started a couple days earlier (on the
anniversary of Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi’s day of union with the
beloved) with waves of contractions coming and going, gaining a gentle
momentum, each wave preparing me for the crest of the next one to come.
At exactly 6am
on this day I awoke to a familiar sensation and instinctively ran to
the bathroom to realize that my water had broken. With a smile, I called
the midwife and my two dearests Kristina and Zoe to make their way over
to the house. Rumi had begun her final descent.

The
early hours passed at the house easily. My son Raphael played with our
friends and I would occasionally surface from my bedroom to be with
them, contractions and all. I made myself some tasty french toast and
then returned to the bedroom to continue laboring as the waves deepened
in intensity. With just my partner Josh, our midwife Amrit, and her
assistant in the bedroom, I labored silently, passing through some of
the most intense portals of my life, traveling deeper and deeper down
this initiatory path. I repeated a couple of mantras to myself – to
“simply open, simply allow,” and that "the only way out is through.”
Those words helped me remained present in every rich moment. Chocolate
was also helpful.

Deep
in the timeless space of a heavy contraction I envisioned the energy it
must have taken the universe to be birthed, and that this birth felt
like a microcosm of the original big bang- carrying with it the same
magnitude of exquisite profundity. My body shivers now just to relive
this memory of grace and power.

Hours
passed, more hours passed than we all thought should. We stood at the
edge of doubt for a breath and turned our backs on it just as fast. I
called to Rumi. I let her know we were ready, that I was tired, and that
we wanted to hold her, smell her, love her up so badly. Slow,
deliberate movements on the bedroom floor, turning this way and that as
she passed through her own portal of intensity. I climbed up on my bed
for the final hours as I was taken to the furthest limits of sensation
imaginable, and then beyond those to the limits that are simply
unimaginable. A woman’s body is an incredible thing. I became The
Mother, primal, raw, beautiful and fierce, channeling the original
energy of Creation itself.

Rumi
was coming, and Josh’s hands reached out to meet her. A brave and
trusting Papa, Josh was the first to hold her and place her on my chest.
I became gratitude in that moment, breathing it, crying it, singing it,
emanating it from the core of my being. Minutes later, her brother
Raphael made his way into the room to meet her with curious eyes.

I have never been more grateful in my life than I am as a mother. I owe this fortune to my children who are so generous with me.

It
is such a gift to know Rumi, she is a joy above joy in my life. I feel
blessed to be her guardian for this while, to listen to what she has to
teach me, to nourish her roots so that in turn her fruit can nourish not
only herself but all who meet her.