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But relationships are rarely ideal — and being used in a relationship is way more common than we’d like it to be.

While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors, the outer ring represents physical, visible violence.

These are the abusive acts that are more overt and forceful, and often the intense acts that reinforce the regular use of other more subtle methods of abuse.

Pay attention if you’re the onealways making the effort.

Whether you’ve been dating for five days or five years, it should still be a two-way street.

“You can generally use your own feelings and comfort level as a good yardstick,” Aimee explains.

It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

We talk a lot here about “red flags” that warn you that a job may not be one you’ll be happy in.

But red flags can be tough to spot when you really, really want (or need) a job; it’s often pretty easy to overlook danger signs.

“They might not want any sort of serious relationship, but they like you and you might generally feel good in this situation,” says Aimee. If you’re not comfortable with the relationship and they know you want more than they do, they’re using you. If you really like someone, admitting you’re being used is likely to be the last thing that you want to do.

You may feel like the fact that they’re using you is embarrassing— that it’s finally acknowledging they’re not as into you as you are into them. Because admitting that you’re being used just means that you’re with the kind of assh*le who uses people.