What’s avant garde about a skirt made out of a theater backdrop and a top made out of tissue paper carnations?

And how is it that this color combination had you all praising this look for being forward thinking, but when Fallene used the exact same colors, she was told they didn’t look modern?

We’ll tell you why: the producers found what they clearly think is a goldmine of a character and they’re flogging him like there’s no tomorrow. He is going to continue to get wildly overpraised, become increasingly obnoxious about it, and then get his knees cut off by the judges when the producers figure they’ve gotten everything they need out of him.

Bitchy? Cynical? You betcha. But we have good reason. We’ve been obsessively cataloging every entry that ever walked down that shitty little runway for over 5 years now and we can say with no small amount of authority…

This would have been laughed off the runway in earlier, less manipulative seasons, when design work was the focus of the show and not clashing personalities.

Here’s what we don’t get. The painting has a somewhat disturbing energy to it but Josh ignored it by taking the more obvious, literal aspects of the painting and merely replicating them in dress form. The actual tone of the painting, embodied in the wild energy and disturbing, unblinking eye, is nowhere to be found on the dress.

Instead, he replaced it with cheap sentiment that had nothing to do with the original piece. We have no doubt that Josh mourns his mother and that the loss of her is very painful for him; just like we have no doubt that he cynically chose to superimpose this story onto his work this week as a sympathy-gathering ploy. Call us bitches if you want, but that’s how we see it.

Sure, interpret the painting however you like and if it made Josh think of his late mother, then incorporating that into the piece is perfectly acceptable, if not encouraged.

But the lameass way he did it altered the tone completely. Or at the very least, he superimposed something on top of it that simply didn’t go with the rest of it.

And can we just say that making a dress inspired by a painting out of fabric that you painted is kind of lame?

We had no problem with the construction or concept behind the top. It was well done and vibrantly interesting. We just hated that skirt with a passion and we think the silhouette and proportions on the look are too clumsy and awkward to be considered avant garde.

And the Cyndi Lauper styling was stupid.

To be fair to Bert (before we start ripping this) this look probably came closest to fulfilling the request for an avant garde look.

As he noted, one of the most common components of avant garde fashion is challenging ideas about body and proportions. He came into this project with that stated goal in mind and you have to admit, he absolutely succeeded.

Don’t get us wrong: this piece looks like a clown costume because he chose his colors badly and he really didn’t bring much in the way of sophistication to the look.

The tacked-on puffy pieces look like the decor of an ’80s Chuck E. Cheese’s or roller skating rink.

And the shoved-in tulle is sloppy and half-assed. And also way too ’80s.

Plus, he was way too literal about it.

We think the judges – with the exception of Heidi, whose cheerleading for Bert is getting a little silly – treated this exactly right. They could see that he came into this with an intellectual approach, which is an excellent way to approach an avant garde piece. There has to be some thinking behind it. It can’t just be “Brushstrokes!” or “My mom died and I’m sad.” A designer should really think about what they want to do and how they want to challenge conventions when attempting to be avant garde.

This essentially looks like an avant garde piece from 25 years ago, unfortunately. Very much in the ’80s mold of crazy fashion.

It landed him on the bottom and he absolutely deserved to be there, but the judges treated him with some respect because they knew he was the only one who knew what he was supposed to do and did it. It’s 25-year-old avant garde, but at least it would have been considered avant garde at some point in history, unlike almost every single other entry this week.

It does tend to sum up Bert to a T: technically proficient with a quarter-century of knowledge and training behind it, but unfortunately not remotely modern in any way.

I have got nothing to say that you didn’t already brilliantly express. That translation of the tree with the intials that the judges praised so highly was to me trite, sentimental, overly literal, and cutesy—the exact opposite of avant-garde.

Josh’s garment looked, to me, like cheap stagewear. Like if there was a singing role in ‘Les Dix Commandements’ for the burning bush, and that burning bush was a belty mezzo, and the production had a very limited costume budget and no sense of taste, this is what she would wear. And she would dance around the character of Moïse, warbling to the heavens and chewing the scenery. Just tearing. it. up.
While wearing this.

Anonymous

I totally agree! Also, and this is the point I reached: I could have painted those initials in the exact same way… and I’m not an artist. The look was so heavy-handed.

Anonymous

I totally agree! Also, and this is the point I reached: I could have painted those initials in the exact same way… and I’m not an artist. The look was so heavy-handed.

muzan-e

My picture is of a tree on fire.
My outfit is a tree on the bottom half and fire on the top and it’s creative as hell.

Yeah. :/

scottyf

Soul Brothers T&Lo said…“It does tend to sum up Bert to a T: technically proficient with a quarter-century of knowledge and training behind it, but unfortunately not remotely modern in any way.”

I agree.

But you can learn what’s current and on trend–as he proved in the first challenge. The other stuff can’t be taught. I’m still betting on the Queen Bitch.

I am SO glad I wasn’t going crazy with my feelings about Joshua M’s look. Other than his painting technique, I wasn’t really impressed. I thought the model looked like a Pink Lady from Grease after Frenchie got through fixing her hair.

Anonymous

“A quarter century of knowledge” AND a quarter century behind the times. You haven’t broken up with him yet?

scottyf

Honey, after last night’s episode? I swiped Josh C’s Dominatrix Uniform, and was waiting for him at Atlas with a whip and a bag of Mallomars.

Thank God and the Flying Spaghetti Monster, my gaydar has been sound since 1987. Which, of course, means there were some sad times in High School, but at least I figured it out by the time I was really out there.

(Says the woman who met her husband while filling the job description of BEARD for a flatmate at a wedding…)

I thought the judges had been hitting the crack pipe big time when they fell all over themselves praising Josh M.s’ look. His styling of the model along with his color choices reminded me of a German children’s character, “Struwelpeter”.

I was at least relieved that the previous episode’s unbridled bitctchery got a rest this week. The manipulative talons of B/M are all over this season.

scottyf

Struwelpeter. Ahhh, you bring back memories.

My parents used to read me one of the Struwelpeter tales: “The Story of the Inky Boys”. I think it may have been one of their first attempts to prepare me for the world outside of my block. It also instilled in me that there were people of all colors who recognized injustice, and were prepared to do something about it. Thank you for reminding me of that.

Oh my god struwelpeter!!! She looks exactly like the one who didn’t brush his hair or clean his nails…wow the resemblance is actually uncanny …my Nana read me that book when I was a kid and I’ll never forget it – the story of little suck a thumb though probably scarred me the most though

Anonymous

Bert’s comment to the effect that he was going to try not to be an asshole was interesting. And he sort of wasn’t. His outfit may be avant garde but I still hate it. He made the model look ridiculous.

Well, now I love it! Anything that’s connected to Katamari must be good:)

Anonymous

yes…hahaha!

Terence Ng

A lot like the sumo-wrestling challenge in We <3 Katamari.

Anonymous

What’s kind of depressing about that is Bert is probably the one designer who DIDN’T glue shit on (okay. probably a bunch of them never picked up the glue gun. But some – ANTHONY RYAN I SEE YOU – definitely did, and didn’t get called for it). And words cannot describe how proud of myself I am that my assessment of Bert’s look is more or less exactly identical to TLo’s assessment of it. Finally, after reading faithfully for five seasons (I came here at season 4), I’ve figure out the avant-garde challenge!!!!!

Anonymous

Yes, that is depressing, because even though those zig-zag stitches on the edges of Bert’s shapes bugged the crap out of me, at least they were sewn! I wish they had more time for the challenges, so we could see what they can do when they’re not speed sewing.

Anonymous

What’s kind of depressing about that is Bert is probably the one designer who DIDN’T glue shit on (okay. probably a bunch of them never picked up the glue gun. But some – ANTHONY RYAN I SEE YOU – definitely did, and didn’t get called for it). And words cannot describe how proud of myself I am that my assessment of Bert’s look is more or less exactly identical to TLo’s assessment of it. Finally, after reading faithfully for five seasons (I came here at season 4), I’ve figure out the avant-garde challenge!!!!!

During the segment in which Josh M. talked about his mother’s death I thought he was getting a winner’s edit…
I know, slap me for being so cynical, but I’ve watched this show obsessively for too long…
bitchybitchybitchy

Anonymous

I get so excited when comments that I make during the show get articulated by you two!!! I feel so validated. When i saw that skirt, all I could think of was high school drama tree painting. And then you just said it!!! And then, while I also didn’t like Bert’s outfit, i also said it was the closest to avant guard in the bunch. Thank you, you made my day!!!

Anonymous

Are you kidding us?Are you fucking kidding us?Thank you.
And, yes, Bert’s: As unattractive and dated as it is, it did kind of fit the A-G bill. It reminded me of that wonderful Spanish designer, what’s her name? Not as appealing or fun, not remotely as attractive, yet a similar spirit. Much as I hate to admit it, sigh.

The styling of Josh’s model reminded me of Glenda, the good witch. I was shocked he was in the top 3. I kind of see where Bert was trying to go with the pants, but I think he failed with all the patches he added.

Anonymous

I haven’t seen this episode yet, but I saw screen captures of the outfits and

To be fair to Bert (before we start ripping this) this look probably
came closest to fulfilling the request for an avant garde look.

I agree completely. I would guess they only put him in the bottom instead of making him safe because it would be fun to talk about. I would have given it the win, but I do see your point that it is a little too 80s / Memphis Design.

As for Josh M, I do believe he has a promising career ahead of him… in reality TV, not in fashion design.

Anonymous

I think they actually use points, so he’d have been in the bottom because his score was one of the lowest, which is could have been if the 3 naysayers scored him very low.

Anonymous

I’m so glad that someone else saw the Memphis design connection!!! It looks like a wearable interpretation of a dresser from that time period. Someone needs to buy the judges some art history flash cards.

As much as it pains me to say it (because I kind of loathe Bert), though extremely dated, this was the most avant garde of the looks.

I hate Bert’s a lot less than I hate that … tree … thing, which isn’t even fit for community theater.

Anonymous

Don’t knock community theatre. It is where the real actors are–those who love the craft, and you’d be surprised at who is acting there…most of them have theatre degrees and/or worked professionally for a while, but got a real job because professional theatre makes it a job, not something they love.

Anonymous

Doesn’t Bert’s totally look like something Tyra would wear on America’s Next Top Model? Or the host of a really terrible public access kid’s show?

Anonymous

I can just imagine it in Square One singing a song about shapes

Anonymous

Ugh. Everything Josh makes seems like a costume to me. And this… where on Earth would this fit in other than an off-off-Broadway musical with dancing, flaming trees in the chorus line? Ugly, ugly, ugly. I think you’re right, he MUST be a producer plant at this point.

Not much to say about Bert, either, other than he phoned in yet another challenge. At least Josh’s could be worn in a high school musical. I have no idea who would wear Bert’s, or where.

Anonymous

I think you could say a lot of things about Bert’s creation this week, but I don’t see how anyone could think he phoned it in. I think he put a lot of thought and effort into it. It’s cracktastic, but I thought avant garde wasn’t really meant to be “ready to wear” in any way, shape or form anyway.

Anonymous

Inspired by the sihouette of Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

Anonymous

Personally I think they show refrain from an avant garde challenge any more or do it when it’s down to less than 8 designers. Avante garde is incredibly hard to pull off. It needs a mindset and vision. The PR conditions really work against it. And when you think about it no one has been able to match the efforts of the first time they did this challenge. Is there anything in successive Avant garde challenges that can come close to what the teams of Christian/Chris and Victoria/Jillian pulled off? That’s an absolute no. Part of the reason of course is the talent combinations. The other is the source of inspiration.

The inspiration was a good one but it’s clear most of these contestant are not of the mentality to do those kind of clothes. People like Christian or Chris or Elisa Jimenez are needed

Anonymous

I love the look on Joshua’s model’s face in the close up, last picture:
“Man, do I look like an ass. Wish I’d had some of whatever the judges are smoking before I had to put this shit on.”

Anonymous

Pretty lame episode. The inconsistency of the judging is mindboggling at times (Fallene and Joshua using orange/brown). The lets-generate-sympathy-for-the-jerks is getting old. They’ve done that in past seasons (Santino, Jeffrey, Irina) and now with bad-attitude-Josh and Bert. I winced when Olivier’s ‘creation’ came down the runway; Bert’s too. And I wondered what Nina would have said about the execution of the winner’s outfit; those ‘brush strokes’ looked like they could be pulled right off and the unfinished hem looked terrible, not like a ‘statement’. Josh C’s model looked sooooo uncomfortable in that black/white concotion. I like him but I think they made the right call. Agree they are building up bad-att-Josh for the drama. Next week’s teams of five should be a train wreck. I don’t want to tune in week after week to just see people being nasty. I miss those less manipulative seasons. This is getting too ridiculous.

Anonymous

Nina would have praised the winning outfit, just like the rest of them, then sashayed on over to BM Payroll and picked up her substantial check. For doing exactly what the BM producers tell her to do.

Please. There’s not a single judge I believe in any more, and even my beloved Tim is on thin ice.

Anonymous

It’s getting to the point you wonder what the guest judges are thinking when they agree to appear.
In the late Bravo seasons it was kind of a fun departure for an established designer.
Now you can see them fighting to inject some reality into the whole judging drama.

Somehow I doubt Kenneth Cole really needs the paycheck or the teevee exposure.
So why is he – and others like him – lending his credibility to the “judging”?

Anonymous

You know, I was willing to give Clinique a second chance since they all seemed willing to start over with a clean slate. And then I was subjected to his arrogant, condescending and delusional ramblings about how him being a complete bitch to Becky in the group challenge was clearly what got her creative juices flowing for this challenge…. Really? I mean, really though? I’ve never hit anyone in my entire life, but it would have taken a lot for me not to bitch slap him if I had been anywhere near him while he was spewing that crap.

And I agree, his outfit, “artistry” (if that’s what you call painting fabric these days) aside, was just utter crap and felt
very ‘Wicked Witch of the East dresses up for a date.’ The styling was
just atrocious.

Those kids were freaking cute though. I liked the tiny Buddha girl, Victor’s outspoken pain in the tush, and Bert’s artist could not have been more perfect for him.

Anonymous

I was suprised that Josh was in the top , leastwise for the garment he made. I looks like a good party dress for Woody’s cowgirl friend Jessie. I disliked the way he wood grained the skirt and the heart/initals looked like finger painting. Middle of the road as far as I’m conserned
I like the silhouette that Bert started with, but hate the tacked on shape. However in some ways it recalls the work of Agatha de la Prada.

Anonymous

Jessie would NEVER wear that ugly heap o’ crap. She may be a cowgirl sidekick to the rootinest, tootinest cowboy of all, but the girl’s got serious style (or would if she weren’t, you know, sewn into her clothes).

I completely agree. While many of the kids’ paintings showed a lot of talent, Bert’s young artist created the least effective work to be inspirational for this challenge. The various shapes just did not create something cohesive. Of course this is a school for the arts, so the young man may have been introduced to some abstract artists whom he seeks to emulate, but he has an incomplete knowledge of design theory behind such art; and is still in the process of formulating his own vision.

“Of all the arts, abstract painting is the most difficult. It demands that you know how to draw well, that you have a heightened sensitivity for composition and for colours, and that you be a true poet. This last is essential.” — Wassily Kandinsky.

I agree that Bert’s (with all it’s many faults) was the most like avant-garde. I’m glad he wasn’t auffed. It was so evident that the editing was much kinder to him this episode.

Josh, WTH?? For once, in our house, everything we said while watching the show has been echoed by TLo and the comments.

Anonymous

I think what he should have done was just take one or two of those shapes and made that his pattern. For instance cut a gigantic square out of a boardy fabric (like the neoprene) and fold it around the body diagonally like a cape with a point sticking up behind the head, and fasten the adjecent points in the center pinnnig the arms down. A stiff dress could be fashioned out of just about any of the other shapes if you made them big enough. Use the orange squiggle to inspire the hair. It would be cleaner and alot closer to “bert”.

Anonymous

I thought he should have used the orange triangles–that sort of looked like a dress to me with exaggerated triangle shoulders and an exaggerated triangle skirt with a nipped-in waist. Use the silver crescent for a hat element of some sort.

I was thinking colorblocking with the shapes and sew them into the same shape as his final garment.

MilaXX

…and I’m back in! (couldn’t get comments on the last 2 posts)

UGH! Josh M’s outfit was fug. I thought that skirt was trite & I also didn’t buy his boo -hoo-ing over his mama. I hated the skirt, thought the top was so-so at best and hated the styling. Did they all think that avant garde meant 1980’s Cindy Lauper hair? Going into the challenge I thought Bert was going to somehow make just another pretty dress, so I was pleasantly surprised to see his sketch. The problem was the resulting outfit was, as mentioned, clown clothes.

Anonymous

CCounter is very full of himself, no? And, as I’ve said before, delusional.

I was having trouble getting the comments too. I assumed it was my laptop, which I spilled water on last week.

I can’t bring myself to believe that Josh would use his dead mother for sympathy points. I’m not saying you and TLo are wrong, MilaXX, or are terrible for saying it; just that the very idea of doing that is unfathomable to me. Josh M. is a huge jackass, evidenced by him supposing that his bullying had helped Becky, but I’m not ready to accept that he is that awful.

Anonymous

I don’t think it’s “using for sympathy points,” exactly, as it is having a set of ready-built cliches about Being Inspired By a Lost Loved One. He may very well have *felt* inspired by his mom, but I don’t think Josh has the ability to speak or present himself in anything except self-serving hollow cliches. Some people can’t come up with their own narratives, so they have to use ones they find free-floating in culture. And Inspiration from Deceased Loved One is a very handy one to latch on to. It’s not calculated so much as it is absence of originality in self-expression. Or a sense of the dramatic which may be mostly or entirely unconscious.

MilaXX

Perhaps he is not that manipulative. If he’s not using his mother’s death to gain sympathy/favor, then he is egocentric enough to make everything about himself. In fact, thinking about his remarks concerning his horror behavior towards Becky maybe he really is just one of those people who believes everything is all about him.

Anonymous

At first I thought Bert had another winner on his hands, because he was the only designer who had a clue what avant garde means.

Then it got a little silly and turned into a too-literal interpretation of the painting, but I like to think the judges would not have eliminated him in any event because he Got It.

Another brilliant and incisive analysis, T-Lo. Can’t wait to see how Josh M reacts when he is dismissed. Dare we hope for something on the operatic proportions of Michael Costello?

In the preview it looks like next week Josh M not only returns to his bitchy ways big time, but he also continues to wail about his mother, and — contrary to his advice to Becky — cries us a river. Makes me wish this was one of those syfy reality contests where the viewers press their buttons at home and electrocute their least favorite competitor.

Margot Brose

Did anyone else go WTF when Michael said something like “I could see someone wearing that in the street.” or something similar. She looks like a pinata with a shower curtain, and this is nothing–NOTHING–like that painting he had to work with.

Anonymous

Yes, and I was confused by his criticism of the styling. It’s an avant-garde challenge and he’s telling Clinique that he should have toned down the make up and hair and let the dress speak for itself. Tell that to Ga Ga.

sweetlilvoice

Love the post! I agree with it all, seriously what a stupid challenge. I’m just glad fairy princess girl didn’t win! Christian Siriano is laughing his ass off.

Anonymous

Any other season and this would have been an amazing challenge, but this season has got no talent.

Joe J

I’m looking at Josh’s, and for some reason I keep thinking of Titania from a Midsummer Night’s Dream, only in the version in my head the forest has been set ablaze.

I am surprised that the judges didn’t cry “Arts and Crafts” on Josh with that painted skirt and initials. I just don’t get their praise except to say that the silhouette is very referential to many of the AVG looks that I have seen in the many runway pic you share here…say Alexander McQueen or that chick that send out all the over the top cracktastic look (can’t remember the name)

Anonymous

His skirt totally reminded me of those ads in the back of women’s magazines where you can order an “art print” of a tree with your initials carved in it.
Avant Garde – no!
Trailer Park Trashy – yes!

This season is making me so sad. Where are the Jay McCarrolls, the Christian Sirianos, the Jillians, the Chris Marches, even the Ramis? It’s just a parade of uncreative, whiny, no-talent fucking hacks.

I love Wanda Sykes! Have you seen her “coming out black” video? It’s on youtube.

Anonymous

Amen on all points! I have nothing to add because TLo said it all.

Anonymous

Ok, so I read an article about avant garde fashion because I really have no idea what it’s about, except that maybe Lady Gaga wears a lot of it. So, my takeaway is that it’s an intellectual concept expressed in fabric (or in Gaga’s case, meat) and is not meant to be worn by anyone anywhere, except by a model on a runway. It takes ideas such as proportion and exaggerates them, with a touch of the theatrical (but not so much that you cross over into costume). You’re supposed to end up with something that expresses a clear point of view and that makes the viewer think, even if he or she doesn’t like the end result.

Given this, I think Bert should have won this challenge because I think he came the closest to doing that with his design. And what is admirable about it is that it is so far from his usual simple designs. Everyone else merely interpreted their paintings, but Bert really created something quite different. I don’t really like what he did (and I’m not qualified to judge if it’s current avant garde), but it’s memorable, exaggerated, and plays with proportions. And you certainly wouldn’t wear it anywhere!

Or am I way off base here?

I wish the judges would be consistent about their concepts. If avent garde isn’t supposed to be streetwear, why would Michael Kors ask Heidi if she would want to wear Burt’s design anywhere? This sort of sloppy thinking is so representative of the larger problems we face as a country. It’s as if noone is capable of rigorous thought anymore.

Anonymous

Thank you! (I knew I should have read the blog before posting!) Ella Schiaparelli’s shoe hat was avant garde. Bert played with proportion, shape and design. He at least demonstrated a knowledge of what the term means.

When I saw Josh’s creation come down the runway, I just knew he’d landed in the bottom 3. It looks like a costume…it’s a tree trunk on fire with the smoke billowing out of the top of the model’s hair. Nothing avant garde about it, and ugly to boot. Bert’s was also costumey, but at least you could see elements of avant garde about it.

Anonymous

When I saw Josh’s, I was waiting for Kors to make a Thanksgiving Pageant remark. Santino got one for his ice-skating costume; Fallene got one for her Petland dress; so where was the turkey snark for Josh?

Anonymous

I decided to try and find your screen caps from the season 4 Avant Garde challenge and interestingly enough came across your “mid season” assessment. Funny how even then, people were calling it “worst season ever”.

Burt’s design made her look like a head with legs. And covered in Art Camp Sewing class pillows.

Anonymous

Having not seen episodes 2-4 while overseas, I was completely underwhelmed and disappointed by yesterday’s episode as it was a textbook example of poor designing, lack of imagination and lousy dressmaking. I was mentally comparing PR 9’s designers’ efforts to those of the earlier seasons, and none, NONE of last night’s would have been in the veterans’ league. The quality of competitor has really diminished under Bunim-Murray.

Tim appeared peevish, the judges mostly were odd, especially in their fawning over Clinique’s wretched offering. I thought it was execrable. Mr. Cole’s comments were pretty indpendent and thoughtful, though he got on the Clinique (is that Josh M? I don’t know who’s who) bandwagon, and I think that was forced. In any event, “weak tea” is putting it kindly. Crummy dressmaking, even with a day and a half. Uninspired thinking. Winey personas. This show has become something that I guess I didn’t miss for the past three weeks. What a shame.

TLo, on the other hand, is always a Not To Be Missed. Boys, while PR was your launching pad, you’ve rocketed onward and wisely expanded your vision and scope. Even if PR stumbles to an ignominious fizzle, you’ll shine on.

All the best,

NDC

Anonymous

How Josh managed to channel his mother out of that painting
is beyond me, unless she was Carmen Miranda with an unblinking eye. Apparently the painting had an odd Rorschach effect on him.

The best part of Clinique in this episode though, was when he was figuring out his design based on the artwork of a thing of nature, and claimed, ‘I clearly don’t go in for things that are natural” (or something like that).

Otherwise, grade A asshole. Whose immunity and win from last week did feel embarrassing for the producers in the re-cap, as a clear push to keep him in the game. Yet, who will probably make it to Fashion Week.

Anonymous

I thought Josh’s look was hideous in every way possible, and really thought he was going to be in the bottom. I mean, that color scheme alone was just hideous. And when you consider the elements of the painting he had, it was like he totally missed not just the point but the opportunity to do something fantastic. Instead we got that hideous skirt. It was just awful in every way.

I thought Bert’s was hideous, too, but it was less hideous than Josh’s. At least it wasn’t depressing, and he was definitely shooting for something avant garde, even if he missed it.

I have to say, I was totally flummoxed by the judging this week. The things I thought were closest to the mark weren’t even critiqued, with the exception of Bert, and the ones that I thought were the worst were actually in the top three. And I’m an artist, so it’s not like these concepts are foreign to me.

Another cracktastic episode. Bring on the crazy, I’m sure they’re got more where this came from…

Anonymous

Josh’s little statement about maybe inspiring Becky with his “direction” last week was just gross.

Anonymous

“All she needs is teeth made of candy corn” – MiKo two weeks ago

My, how soon we forget.

Anonymous

Josh was totally channeling Failene, right down to the wide belt and little boots styling. He’s even got the fascinator she contributed to the stilt challenge. I must say it had to be completely unintentional, because Failene was in the bottom for those looks.
But his dress would go perfect with Failenes “pet store” for mother-daughter match trick – or -treats.

I think Bert’s downfall was his color palette. And making the shapes puffy like pillows. If he had chosen more vivid colors and made the pants something besides gray, it could’ve moved him out of the bottom 3. Not saying it would be a great look, but better colors would’ve made it better.

Anonymous

I weep when I think of what Mondo would have done with Bert’s picture…

Anonymous

and I weep when I think of what Gretchen would have done with Clinique’s picture (and not for the same reason we weep for Mondo’s work)

When I saw Bert’s design, I thought of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpzgJfJrJIg

I love New Order. Bert’s design? Not so much.

Anonymous

ha, yes – and I know a couple of PR people who would do very well at the receiving end of all those slaps.
I was just searching youtube for some german “Neue deutsche Welle” music videos from the early 80s because I thought I have seen Bert’s outfit in one of them – but maybe I just thought of New Order, too.

i have to say i loved bert’s outfit–& i hated 80s pop fashion w/ a passion almost unknown to probably anyone in the history of project runway, or maybe anywhere. i hated the 80s that much, so much i cannot tell you.

not that i would wear bert’s outfit, my butt is big enough, thanks, & i have no idea what a pair of pantaloons would do to it, pantaloons that make someone w/ no butt look like her butt is the size & shape of an enormous eggbeater, created, perhaps by claes oldenberg, possibly spelled wrong, for some kind of cartoon. otoh, his look is fun to the point of making someone so inclined laugh not just at it but w/ it, & not a single other thing on that runway could come anywhere near inspiring that degree of response.

Anonymous

Thank you, thank you, thank you for calling the judges on what they are doing with Josh M. He didn’t deserve to be added to the win last week and he CERTAINLY didn’t deserve to be in the top two this week. I am so tired of the manipulation of the producers…judges…whomever to keep contestants in just because they will sh*t stir. As I said, maybe on your FB page, there just aren’t contestants this year who could hold a candle to Seth Aaron, Laura Bennett, etc. This is just becoming a “let’s be bitchy and make crafts” show. That could be the craft segment on The View.

BuffaloBarbara

I’m so glad you said that about Josh’s look. I was wondering if I had to adjust my television, since it (a) looked like the same colors as Fallene’s, and (b) had a very silly, literal, costumey tree for a skirt.

I agree that Bert’s was the only thing that seemed remotely avant-garde, the problem being that it was also butt-ugly, silly, and literal.

I really think that when they do a challenge for a particular subcategory of fashion–avant-garde, resort collection, sportswear, whatever–they should have a sixty second segment for the audience explaining it. Not just on the idea that we can learn something, but on the idea that we will have some freaking idea what they’re looking for. Even if they’re defining it utterly wrong (like, “Avant garde is an outfit that you might wear to a PTA meeting, if you wanted all the other moms to think you were just crazy enough to be charming,” which appears to be the case this week), maybe it would make sense of what they say after the runway!

Anonymous

It’s unfortunate about Bert’s puff pieces — they really look like cheap toys that cats bat around or that infants and babies shove in their mouths and slobber all over. Some other spectactular add-on might have taken the look over the top — or, conversely, he could have kept the puff pieces and turned the rest of the outfit into a flamboyant giant cat toy of sorts.

Anonymous

Oh- OH _ i get it then. Bert was making up for the Pet Store Challenge!!

Anonymous

well, Josh is artificial looking, suffers from self-aggrandizing delusions, has shown tendencies of misogyny, agism, & sizeism and I can’t imagine that he gives a flying toss about the women who will actually have to wear his designs – so OF COURSE those fashion people love him

do they really have to endorse every prejudice I have against the fashion world?

Anonymous

well, Josh is artificial looking, suffers from self-aggrandizing delusions, has shown tendencies of misogyny, agism, & sizeism and I can’t imagine that he gives a flying toss about the women who will actually have to wear his designs – so OF COURSE those fashion people love him

do they really have to endorse every prejudice I have against the fashion world?

Anonymous

If Bert had taken the idea of the colour and shapes in the painting and colour-blocked those pants, instead of pasting on the cleaning sponges, he probably would have been in the top three. That would have required leaving off Cyndi Lauper’s tulle.

As for Josh M. – for some reason the judges(producters?) really like the hand painted stuff. It was that and the ‘story’ drama that got him in the top three.

i think everyone here can, or already has, come up w/ any possible thing i could say about makeup man, his deplorable lack of talent & the equally deplorable, if not more so, promotion he gets each week from the judging panel.

i just wanna add in addition to all of that:
didnt the recently disgraced galliano come up w/ a whole flower-based collection of which this chicken-ready-for-plucking top is just a sad imitation? in addition, of course, to its appropriation of anthonyblenley’s appropriation of the recent gucci, etc & ect. i mean, w/in the last year or two there’s been a lot of petal-ing going on.

I am sorry but Bert had a HORRIBLE inspiration piece to work with (IMO). Okay, I guess I can soften that slightly – it was the worst one on the show.

Can someone please explain what you’d draw out of that picture? I mean I got some of them (or could see how you could draw some kind of inspiration) but not from this. No offense to the artist, but I just don’t GET it

Anonymous

It wasn’t my favorite work of art, but I could see how the artist was taking components of cubism and graffiti art and trying to synthesize them in an interesting way. It was rather like a page of sketches more than a cohesive work of art, but hey, they’re students, they’re on TV, he’s got to talk to Bert—a challenge Van Gogh didn’t have to contend with.

Anonymous

It was perfect for someone who loves working with patterns and/or color (maybe Anya? But definitely Mondo).

I actually found Bert’s to be refreshing, simply because it challenged the proportions and was different. Nothing else on the runway was that odd or different, it was the same silhouettes and the same crap. Anthony glued shit on his dress again, what a surprise. I was especially impressed by this coming from Bert, who seemed to be adamantly against anything that wasn’t a simple sheath dress. While I think he’s an asshole, I would have been pissed if he had been sent home for this because it was the one item that seemed to have an ounce of thought put into it.

Totally totally agree with your assessment. I couldn’t believe how the judges praised the burning tree — not to mention the initials/heart element. In fact, that detail took it straight to 1950s poodle skirt for me.

While the initials/heart didn’t bother me, I did think it was weird that he did that. If there had been some whimsy or irony to it (and if he hadn’t used his mother’s initials), I would have gotten it. But he seemed quite serious about using it as a tribute to his mother. And I fully expected 1) the judges to rip him to pieces, or 2) the judges to stare at him in dumbfounded silence.

Yesterday I mentioned in another post that Josh M. reminds me of a former boss. That guy also liked all things artificial. If those two ever got together they could destroy the world, like the vampires that they are.

It looks like Josh M. goes on another tirade next week. I’m starting to think he went to Catholic school. No one can beat out a nun when it comes to tyrannical rants.

Anonymous

Is it just me…or is anyone else beginning to feel that PR has runs its course? This season is anticlimactic at best. The work is predominately in the B- to D range. Perhaps as a result of such uninspired challenges? I think the Stilts Challenge just knocked the energy out of this entire group. No one is standing out as a particularly creative person. Are they all taking Prozac? I am waiting for Olivier to just disappear. Can he become more wan in appearance and manner and execution? I don’t know…this could be taken off my ‘Must See TV” list. Except I so adore Tim Gunn. Producers should show more of his critiques!

Anonymous

I agree. Even before the cracktastic judging this week, when the looks finished on the runway I seriously wondered why any of them would win. And I thought that last week, too.

Anonymous

I agree. I think shows like this have a certain shelf life. Once designers have seen enough seasons of this show, they know how to get camera time, how to not piss off the judges, etc., so we’re left with designers playing it safe and stirring up shit. Ugh.

I think they sent the wrong Josh home…and I liked Betsy’s the most. Oh well, it’s so subjective and non-logical (the judging on this show) that it doesn’t pay to get invested in any of it…

Anonymous

Betsy’s was sort of scary in progress, but it looked pretty decent on the runway. I liked the cutouts at the bottom.

Anonymous

Do you guys mean Becky? LOL! I’m not trying to be mean – you just made me giggle because her name always reminds me of Betsy Ross, too! 🙂

Anonymous

Oh, lord, you’re right. People have been calling her Betsy on here either accidentally, on purpose, or “accidentally-on-purpose,” (like Blenley) and I just went with it.

Anonymous

I guess if you want to go around looking like a fashionable Ent or appear in the school play as the Tree Goddess, Josh’s creation is spiffy. To me it looks like a Witchy Tree Halloween costume that would sell well in Walmart. It is as ridiculous as the judging. I don’t know any century or decade during which Bert’s entry would have been considered avant-garde. It looks like Decorate the Teacher Day at the preschool.

Anonymous

Do y’all remember the when the Facts of Life was slowly dying and the girls opened up that 80’s kitchy store? That is what Bert’s outfit looked like. Like that store threw up on it!

Anonymous

I said the same thing! Before I started reading a lot of the comments, haha. Great minds indeed. Any form of dusty rose-lilac ALWAYS takes me back to that horrible set design.

Anonymous

I didn’t read the comments made during the show last night, but am I the only one that thought the proportions on Bert’s outfit made it look like the model belonged in the Stilts Challenge?

Glad you pointed out the inconsistency of the judging panel re: the color combination of Josh’s outfit vs. Fallene’s. And the whole “But I lost my mom!” thing; sorry, queen, but I’ve lost both my parents in recent years, and if you want me to think you played this hand and anything more than a ploy for sympathy to get through to the next round, well, you ain’t did it, gurl.

Bert’s outfit could have likely looked more avant garde with more time for execution; as it is, it looked a little too “first year design student thinking they’re avant garde.” But he tried, and the judges have seen that he can bring the goods when he really tries.

Anonymous

For the Top Chef fans among us: Perhaps Joshua needs an introduction to Just Desserts Seth from season 1. That would be “The Red Hots were for my mommy!” Seth.

Anonymous

He was insanity personified, wasn’t he? I wonder whatever happened to him?

Anonymous

I know that it literalism isn’t necessarily desirable, but it still seems kinda fail that CC didn’t have any green with his half green painting.

Anonymous

A thought just popped into my little bald head:

Can’t you just imagine a twisted production of Wizard of Oz with all the talking trees wearing Josh M’s design ?

Anonymous

and Kimberly’s is the Wicked Witch of the West, Laura’s is Glinda the good witch, Bert’s is the Lollypop Guild, Viktor’s is Dorothy, Anthony’s is the Scarecrow, Anya’s is the Lion, Olivier’s is the Tinman, and Becky’s is the Flying Monkeys.

Anonymous

and Kimberly’s is the Wicked Witch of the West, Laura’s is Glinda the good witch, Bert’s is the Lollypop Guild, Viktor’s is Dorothy, Anthony’s is the Scarecrow, Anya’s is the Lion, Olivier’s is the Tinman, and Becky’s is the Flying Monkeys.

Anonymous

they knew he was the only one who knew what he was supposed to do and
did it. It’s 25-year-old avant garde, but at least it would have been
considered avant garde at some point in history, unlike almost every
single other entry this week.

But that should have put him, if not on the top, at least in the top three. I’m not saying that I liked this, but it irks the hell out of me when people who ignore or don’t understand the dictates of a challenge land in the top and people who do what they’re supposed to land in the bottom. It’s crazy-making.

Anonymous

It irks me, too, but I think by now the designers know that there is a risk both in doing what the judges tell you and also in not doing what they tell you. Ultimately it comes down to: do they like it? If they like it, they’re more willing to ignore that you blew off the challenge. If they don’t like it, they will certainly criticize that you did not follow the challenge.

It’s deeply hypocritical, but I think it speaks on a larger level to the difficulty of translating taste, meaning, and creative expression into words. The judges can’t explain why they don’t like something without being hypocritical, because sometimes what you like doesn’t work, sometimes what you don’t like does work.

The winning dress this week would normally have walked off with a ball-busting critique of construction—that shit was glued on, and badly—but since the overall impression was a “winning” one, it walked off with the prize instead.

Anonymous

Great post – I don’t think the producers or the judges understand what avant garde is. Only one that came close was Bert.

Man, I abhorred Clinique Counter’s wooden ’50s circle skirt (replacing poodle with tired tree carving). The fact that he tied an image of trite sentiment (not that his feelings for his mom are necessarily trite) into the message of that painting and then gets praised again says that judging is about as bad as that LA season. No depth, not that I’m surprised.

Bert’s was hilarious. The palette, the fabrics, the uber-high waisted and pleated pants set this atrocity firmly in the mid-80s. Reminds me of what an “avant garde” designer would show on a fake charity fashion show in Cabot Cove, ME when suddenly makeup artists and models turn up dead… Next week on “Murder She Wrote”.

Anonymous

hahaha I’m cracking up @ your comment about Bert. Good job

Anonymous

hahaha I’m cracking up @ your comment about Bert. Good job

Anonymous

Okay, I’m going to say it. PR needs to get rid of Kors and Garcia. I’d add Klum, but as a producer, she isn’t going anywhere.

I was furious at the judging last week where Nina finally came out and admitted that she and Kors do NOT eliminate people based on each challenge – they keep an informal running score. And this week the Duchess praised a brown and orange color palette to the heavens after savaging the same palette a couple of episodes ago. Are the judges demented. liars or is this all producer manipulation?

Best part of the episode was Michael Kors comparing Bert’s outfit to a Teletubby and Kenneth Cole’s remark about attaching baby toys with velcro. That was my first thought exactly!

And Josh is just a nastier male version of Gretchen, but with better makeup. If he wins I am through with Runway forever.

maryanncarolla

Josh’s tree skirt reminds me of a piece I made for my daughter. I appliqued a tree onto a pair of jeans and embroidered her and her bff’s initials onto the trunk to look carved in. Cute, sure. Avante garde, not in the least. (By the way, my daughter is 2 years old.)

This is a really ineffective and uninspired group this season. Maybe it’s because we’ve already see everything… twice. Is there any new place to go? There must be. Hoping someone can tap into it. But it’s hard when you are chosen by a group of un-fresh, aging, sheltered, uninspiring gits. Even Tim has lost his fairy dust… And I mean that in the best worst way 🙁

What wouldn’t I have given to see Nina’s reaction to Bert’s clown pants? The screen caps would have been epic.

Anonymous

I know, of ALL challenges for her to miss! Her critique was sorely needed this week.

Anonymous

The first thing that popped in my mind when I saw Clinique’s entry was that it was a strange marriage of Ricky and Lucy Ricardo outfits – Babaloo on top and one of Lucy’s circular skirts on the bottom. Then I was thinking that they should make Clinique t-shirts like the one’s that looked like Tammy Faye Bakker had slammed into them head on. I think it was the painted fabric that inspired that thought. Or Clinique’s makeup.

There’s probably something Freudian going on there.

I liked Bitter Burt’s – I certainly wouldn’t wear it, but I’m thinking he’s the only one who actually submitted an attempt at Avant Garde. The rest looked like bad prom dresses or just plain bad clothing. But that’s just my opinion.

I agree about Bert’s entry. It wasn’t pretty, but it was the only thing on the runway that showed an understanding of what constitutes avant garde. True, it was ’80s avant garde, but it was no more difficult to accept than anything Gaultier has done. It was also probably the best made garment on the runway. I’d have put Bert safely in the middle and had someone else in the bottom—maybe Bryce.

And much as I don’t care for her, I’d have given Anya the place in the top three occupied by Laura.

Anonymous

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT FALLENE’S IDENTICAL COLOR SCHEME! tragic. the whole time they were praising clinique’s look, i was practically screaming at thentv ~ their transparency is so vomit-inducing. furthermore, can he make anything that’s pretty that ISN’T a circle skirt?!? he’s made this same skirt several times, and he’s getting very anya-esque about reusing the same look.

also, why haven’t y’all been invited to guest judge?!? i would literally pay to see that!

Anonymous

Oh, I dunno. I never get when people try to make “rules” out of what the judges say. It’s not a science, there are no laws in fashion. One person might pick up a patterned fabric and make something really ugly that makes the pattern look dated; the next person might pick it up and make it look really fresh and fabulous. When you have infinite possibilities, anything can be done. I thought Fallene’s use of these colors was really cheap, and when you compare say, her skirt vs his top, well…to me one seemed clearly more craft fair than the other. I can’t exactly say Josh’s look is any less Halloween than hers was (his styling is NOT helping, he always takes that too far), but it’s miles more sophisticated. I see Josh’s and can see a definite fashion element here. Fallene’s dress looked like an amateurish and cheap doll’s costume. So many aspects go into any design and they all contribute to the appearance and feel of the final product..” I will never understand the people who always say “Omg, they liked the shape/color of so-and-so’s top and Angela made something similar 8 seasons ago and they hated it!!!!” Yeah, and? Are all shift dresses the same, by dint of being a shift dress? Must all blue dresses be ugly just because one was, and perhaps the blue looked kind of gross on the model wearing it? Shoud all red-orange skirts and tops not be ok just because one particular one wasn’t? I see no hypocrisy or double-standard “inconsistent” judging, unless two contestants make literally the exact same dress in the same fabric and get opposite responses, and that’s never happened. I’ve never even seen two looks on this show that were as similar as the Nicki Hilton-Marla dress redux situation in Season 3, and even those were dissimilar enough to declare one much better than the other. (Guess which one? Lol)

I thought Josh should’ve won, but I’m loving it less the more I see it. Still, I think it belongs in the top. Bert’s is…horrific. He should be aufed for the colors alone. Remember when the Facts of Life got a makeover and they replaced Mrs. Garrett with Chloris Leachman, who had that 80’s pastel novelty shop with neon lights everywhere? Yeah. That store was the inspiration for Bert’s look. It managed to be both literal and completely “off” from the painting at the same time. Eesh. I felt bad for his student, who had to unenthusiastically lie to Bert like three times about how he liked it. An acting career is not in his future, haha.

Anonymous

I really do not understand why a clown costume with baby toys is “avant garde.” It must be because I am from the Midwest.

I am also loving Josh’s less now that I see the stills. I do still think the top is great, but I think a sleek ponytail would have been much more appropriate than the crazy hair, and I think a super super skintight pant, painted in the same way, might have been better. It’s much better than anyone will give him credit for, though.

Anonymous

Last night I tried squinting at the tree to see what the judges were praising as avante-garde in Josh’s, and I just shook my head. A circle skirt and pinata top? That MK said to take off the tulle headpiece and change the makeup and he could see someone wear the top out for a party? That’s high concept? (And I was hoping that the use of neoprene would end with Ramon.)

Clinique made some particularly dumb comments for this episode. “without my mother I wouldn’t be here today” got a laugh out of me as did his comment pertaining to Becky paying attention to his supreme management last week.

Anonymous

his comment pertaining to Becky paying attention to his supreme management last week.

That was pretty delusional, wasn’t it?

Anonymous

his comment pertaining to Becky paying attention to his supreme management last week.

That was pretty delusional, wasn’t it?

Anonymous

Oh my god, I almost dislodged my eyeballs I rolled them so hard at his condescension toward Becky. What an ass.

I hated the edging on the shapes on Bert’s dress. Added to the crafty look of it.

Mariah J

Funny, I liked Josh’s skirt and hated the top. The styling was definitely terribad. Bert made clown clothes. But everyone knew it so it was somehow okay…

Anonymous

Josh’s self-serving references to his mother just made me dislike him more. It also felt like Producer manipulation for the editor to ask him about the initials (Heidi and Kors didn’t ask) but I was sooooo glad that didn’t open the door for him to go on about his mother on the runway.

Anonymous

It also looks in the previews that he’s pulling out the Mommy Card again next week.

Anonymous

Put green makeup on Josh’s model and she could pass for Elphaba in a high school production of “Wicked”

Anonymous

I’m still boycotting this show (ok, I did watch the judging and Nina in the workroom on the Nina episode. But on the day after and that was it!), but I obsessively stalk these recaps like a, um, crazy stalker. Haven’t posted til now because I think it would be phony as hell to comment on something I haven’t seen, but this is about our heroes, Tom and Lorenzo. You two are truly brilliant. I always love your observations, even when I fervently disagree with them, but you guys are at your best when you comment on art and other abstract matters, You guys make me think and laugh at same time when I read your posts, and often for several hours afterward (ah, the afterglow!). And I adore and admire how you go from intelligent and sensitive observations to down-to-earth, take-no-prisoners comments with equal honesty — without batting an eye or compromising your integrity. And you two make it looks so effortless and so FUN! Nothing that I’ve read about this season’s PR make me regret that I’ve given up this show, but I’m so thankful T and Lo are still blogging their big, bitchy hearts about it. You two are gems, just treasures!! *pinches their cheeks*

I totally agree. This is the only blog I read on a regular basis, and just for grins last week I read some other blogs to see what others were writing about Josh hate. There is no one that comes near the quality of TLo’s writing and insight. I was really shocked at how others compared.

I totally agree. This is the only blog I read on a regular basis, and just for grins last week I read some other blogs to see what others were writing about Josh hate. There is no one that comes near the quality of TLo’s writing and insight. I was really shocked at how others compared.

Anonymous

When I was 5, I had a jumper that looked very similar to Bert’s, just with less tulle and crazy hips. But it had the foam shapes glued on in a crazy random ass way. Soooooo yeah.

Gah. Josh M’s is fucking DISGUSTING. I can’t believe people don’t seem to be as outraged this season as they were last season – in my opinion, Gretchen’s winning stuff was almost always better/ more defendable than the trash that is being praised this time around. UGH. And there’s no one to brighten up the season (a la Mondo) now, either.

Anonymous

As much as Bert’s been getting on my nerves, I did appreciate his approach (if not his final product), given that others defined Avante Garde as “be as weird as possible” which means that there’s not much thought there.

Anonymous

A huge full circle skirt? Absurd volume on top done in ruffles and frou-frou shananigans? Electroshock therapy whispy fairy hair?! It’s all a bit too “Dior couture=avant-garde” for me.

Totally agreed. I didn’t understand why Josh C. wanting to put some fur on his model was “too literal and costumey” but the other Josh looking at a painting of a tree (that had a lot of thematic stuff going on in it) and dressing his model as a tree was somehow neither costumey nor literal.

I kind of loved Burt’s. It was absolutely hideous and outdated and looked like the 1980s exploded all over his model, but it filled me with sheer joy to see it walk down the runway. I think I felt the same way as Heidi. Every single other piece (except for Anya’s, which I probably would have given the win just because it looked so fierce) was blah-boring or depressing, just like she said and Burt’s just made me laugh and laugh, it was so ridonculous. I would have put it in the top just for that, cause at least it’s something and as a fashion judge I could be fickle if I wanted to. I’m actually a little disturbed that Heidi seems to be my voice on this show these days. How is this happening?

I’m actually a little disturbed that Heidi seems to be my voice on this show these days. How is this happening?

i feel just like that too. exactly like that.
& i loved burt’s too, for exactly the same reason.
anya’s, tho, oh, i really did not like it.
construction issues! floppy feathers! antithetical inexplicable open pannier curtains! too much crap!
etc & ect. but the rest of everything you said i agree w/ totally.

Thank you! This judging was a head-scratcher for me, but I couldn’t quite figure out what was off. Your “judging by personalities” theory nails it.

Anonymous

That circle skirt was made from a stage backdrop stolen from a local high school. Horrible. And to wax poetic on the initials, which looked like a lovesick preteen Justin Bieber fan painted on it? WTF? I kept thinking, this has got to look better in person because I don’t think the judges are looking at the same garment that’s on my television screen.

I do agree that Burt’s was the only person to produce anything that even approached avante garde, but man, it was frakking ugly.

Anonymous

yes, this totally looks like kids challenge…as in use materials found in a kindergarten classroom.

When I saw Bert’s outfit I thought the challenge was to design for a woman who did not have time to go to the bathroom since the back looks exactly like a toddler who has dropped a load in her huggies.

Anonymous

And what was with Josh’s model? Did he style her to look like a poorly made up drag queen? I admit, haven’t seen the show yet or read many of the comments–but this my very first reaction to seeing his piece and his model.

See that’s why I come to this website because it educates me on things I never really saw the first time around. I knew Bert was in trouble when he was creating that outfit in the workroom. However, his garment originated from a solid, well-thought out design concept, though I agree that it is a dated concept. I could see maybe Grace Jones wearing a similar silhouette back in the 80’s though probably not in those colors. Josh’s product looked good to me at first but on second look doesn’t seem any less ridiculous than the enitre freakshow on that stage. I actually thought he could’ve won just because of the cray-cray factor in his look. Unfortunately, the one that ended up number one was really further away from avante garde if not almost ready to wear.

Anonymous

Josh left a big round opening in the back of his top, and I kept screaming at him to put the big round eye in it. Bitch never listens. It would have been ugly and obvious, but then again…so that’s skirt.

Liked the shape of Crisco’s skirt, but nothing else. Zero. Top looked like the float my high school science club made out Kleenex, red dye No. 2 and a VW Bug. Bert’s blew not the least because of short-cut construction. With two days and some decent dough, he could have rocked the Jethro pants and even made something provocative out of the little geometric appendages so they didn’t look so much like tampon bags. As it is, serged anything plunks the cosmic twanger and not in a good way.

Anonymous

I made my comments about Josh’s in my previous post and thought the same bloody thing about the skirt.

Bert’s was terrible, but you’re right that he at least knew what the challenge supposedly called for. If I could choose which designer to design something for me, it would still be Bert. The man knows what he’s doing.

pam hudson

I tend to agree with you – Bert is the man for me too! I do think he intended to make something fashion forward in mind – I believe it was the fabric that did him in. . . Take away the tulle and put the design in black/dark grey – better? I am rooting for Bert to make it to the end – although I do worry that his style is too dated – if he can work on picking better (more modern) fabrics I believe he can hang in there!!

Go Cranktastic Bert! Although I do like Becky, by the way, Becky’s look was completely derivative of the Japanese Pattern Magic book. Check out the cover. Avant Garde? Maybe 10 years ago.

I agree. Every time the judges complained about a garment’s ‘lack of wearability’, I wanted to reach through the tv and slap them. Or at least present them with some examples of avant garde fashion. Throw a great big Guo Pei skirt piece at them or something.

I agree. Every time the judges complained about a garment’s ‘lack of wearability’, I wanted to reach through the tv and slap them. Or at least present them with some examples of avant garde fashion. Throw a great big Guo Pei skirt piece at them or something.

One more thank you for your analysis. I am saddened by it but it’s the only explanation for the rankings.

Damien Washington

Cyndi Lauper styling? For once you’re being too kind. Between the Zombie-Bette frizz and the hulking shoulders of the top piece, my first reaction was ‘Dee Snider in drag.’

Josh M needs help. The kind of help that comes with a smack or two.

Lora Martin

Is anyone else finding this whole season boring so far? In the past it was pretty clear who had the vision to go all the way, this year it seems like they are all equally dull with very little difference between the winners and the auf-ers. Sigh.

Lora Martin

Is anyone else finding this whole season boring so far? In the past it was pretty clear who had the vision to go all the way, this year it seems like they are all equally dull with very little difference between the winners and the auf-ers. Sigh.

Anonymous

Not having had the time to read all the comments yet, I hope I am not repeating a loyal TLo fan, but here is what strikes me –

If you Google “Avant Garde Garments/fashion”, you get a plethora of sites, images, definitions and explanations. Sadly, neither the producers nor the judges took a moment to do that very basic research. Seems to me that they really don’t know what the term means. As an student of the “Art to Wear” movement of the 60’s and 70’s, (later than the avant garde movement but boundary pushing in its own way) I would have to say that no one in this challenge got it. Bert came close, and of course the judges hated his look.

Issey Miyake’s sculptural shibori and Elsa Schipaparelli’s shoe hat are examples of the avant garde. Avant garde is not necessarily about wearability or what the fashionable young set wear. It is about pushing boundaries and showing things in a new way. The sad thing is that not only are these garments not avant garde, but the neither the judges nor the designers showed a good understanding of the meaning of the term as regards fashion.

Anthony may have been declared the winner and Josh C the loser, but I think the viewers were the real losers as we did not see anything remotely avant or garde.

End of rant.

Anonymous

YES YES YES YES YES!!!! I want to send all of the judges your shoe hat with this post attached to it. Jeez. I was furious at the end of that episode.

I think the judges are robots and when a season ends they just get their drives wiped clean and are rebooted. Though I guess that doesn’t explain AT ALL why Fallene’s exact color scheme sucked a couple weeks ago but is suddenly great now. Oh, right. Fallene wasn’t a big ol’ bitch who created a lot of drama/excitement. I’m with Josh C. It is getting easier to walk away from this show.

Anonymous

Today’s blog is why I am a faithful bitter kitten. You summed the whole thing up beautifully and made me laugh into the bargain!

Anonymous

Reading this blog is what I have in lieu of the ability to watch the show right now. I’m pretty sure I got the good end of the deal.

Looking at this crap, I think Vincent’s “art project with crap glued all over it” recycling dress from season 3 could have won this one. That is not a good thing.

Anonymous

The first thing I said when I saw Josh’s dress was it was the same colors Fallene had used. I thought it looked terrible. Wasn’t she told it was “halloweeny”? This season is beyond irritating. Way too much drama, too much about the personalities and it’s obvious the designers here were not picked for their talent. This is the best the show could do? Seriously? Terribad.

So Bert got saved because Heidi liked his look. Why doesn’t someone just do a short, shiny mini dress every week until final 3 then? 😛

Christiana Skaar

The judging has been CRACKTASTIC this season. What killed me is that hey were all up in Bert’s business about just randomly tacking things on – but isn’t that what Becky did, albeit in a much less interesting way?

Argh! I din’t know why I watch this show… it’s SO frustrating when the judges contradict themselves constantly.

Anonymous

Hope I’m not repeating anyone. I agree that Heidi & MK were totally disingenuous for not busting Josh M. on the same colors for which they busted Falene’s outfit just DAYS before (through the magic of tv). I’m sure their memories are better than that, even with the crack smoking they seem to have been doing. Falene’s colors were constrained by what she could find in the pet store, just as Josh M’s colors were supposedly constrained by the painting. But Josh M. added the fugly brown all on his own because he didn’t like the green, which was totally half the painting. However, half of the judging panel (Kenneth Cole & Marie Claire what’s her name) hadn’t seen the Falene auffing episode or heard the criticism of the colors she chose. So the blame for this falls squarely on the double standards of Heidi and the Dutchess (and the transparent machinations of the producers).

Anonymous

If I used words like TLo I’d say the exact same thing about these two, and add a little extra bitch in the Josh part. That skirt looked like crap.

bethannstamps

thank you for saying all of this. i thought i had lost my mind/taste level/ any fashion sense at all when this was so praised. it looks like a costume for an elementary school production of the Wiz.

In my post on Bertzilla last week, I said flat-out that if the producers were really smart, they’d have Bertzilla and Clinique Counter in a cagematch for the final. It looks like they decided to do exactly that for next week’s episode. Jeez, Bunim-Murray, blowing your wad a bit too fast, aren’t you?

I bow to Bert’s vast knowledge. He knew what avant-garde was supposed to be, and he tried. Maybe if his fabrics were more luxurious, regarding texture and color, it would have looked a lot better. I am not opposed to the little pillows sticking out. It would be like making a 2D painting come out into 3D. However the pillows needed to have been made meticulously.

Anonymous

Did anybody else look at Bert’s and think “Nikki Minaj”? ‘Cause she’d wear it, and perhaps find a way to rock it. There’s been some odd Japanese fashion in this vein lately, so I’m not sure it’s all that dated after all.

muzan-e

Absolutely furious that they praised the ‘texturing’ of the Clinique’s skirt.

That is not exquisitely textured. He has not even created the illusion of authentic texture. He’s pulled a few brush strokes over each other, and you can buy better faux-texturing on Etsy right now for a buck fifty.

Anonymous

OUCH. I am resisting the urge to be cynical. Josh M may have been eliminated in early rounds in prior seasons but this bunch is so unoriginal that his pieces stand out. No doubt he brings negative energy and he’s an attention whore but he seems genuinely passionate about winning. The rest of the designers seem SO dang depressed I can’t stand it. I want to shake them and tell them to take it up a notch!!!

Josh’s top and skirt made me want to puke. And I was frustrated with the irony of how the color scheme was THE SAME as Fallene’s a few weeks ago. Faleene’s had a hell of a lot more class than this tree trunk mess. And with the editing trying to make him more sympathetic, yes, it’s sad that his Mom died, but using it as a sympathy chip to the judges was just wrong. This isn’t avant-garde, it’s a kindergartner costume for the Fall Festival.
Your comments about Bert were dead on, and all I can add is that the editing , with his home phone call is just manipulation to make him sympathetic. His design probably would have been in last place if baldy wasn’t there. He had the concept of Avant-Garde right, but the styling was an 80’s nightmare. I think Bert is stuck on 80’s auto pilot.

Yeah, I totally appreciate that Bert at least was trying to play with shape and proportion. But all that crap he stuck on his garment doesn’t make sense in any decade.

fragileindustries

I was gobsmacked that the elementary-school Fall Festival costume was not in the bottom 3. Gobsmacked. Sweet creamy crack is the culprit. No, you’re right. They want Clinique Counter there for drama.

Not only is this the least interesting group design-wise in umpteen seasons, it is the least humorous. There is no one I want to laugh WITH. They don’t ever laugh amongst themselves. So we are left to laugh AT, and that’s not fun. There, I said it.

Now I am The Bee

I was truly shocked, SHOCKED when the judges praised CCounter’s outfit. It was so craftsy and literal (a tree burning in the forest! brilliant!) and I distinctly remember the designers being told that “literal” interpretations of the paintings would not be well received. Seems as thought the producers are telling Tim to tell the designers one thing, and coaching the judges to use exactly opposite criteria when judging. It makes me plain angry.

I liked Bert’s look in the beginning. I can see where he was playing with the silhouette, and I kind of like his idea of using the shapes from the painting, but making them into little pillows, I think, was a mistake. The look may have been better received had Bert actually sewn them as appliques onto the garment. It would have been another literal interpretation of the painting, but appartently that’s what the judges were looking for.
But they weren’t supposed to be. I guess.
Well anyway–TLo–you two are absolutely spot on. I thank the stars for your blog every week.
–Toni

Anonymous

Just watched this on DVR, so I’m a few days late. Am I missing something??? Didn’t Clinique have immunity this week, which means he can’t be in the top or bottom?

Anonymous

When you have immunity you can’t be auf’d but you can be in the bottom or top.

I finally got around to watching this episode tonight. (And remembered way back when I couldn’t wait for a new episode of PR–my, how times have changed!)

Bert, I’ve decided, is this season’s Vincent Libretti. Oldest contestant of the lot, plenty of fashion-industry experience, and possibly coulda been a contender–at least way back in the ’80s. And, like Vincent, he’s hopped aboard a reality-TV merry-go-round and is making that one last reach for the brass ring.

Like Vincent, Bert’s stuck in his heyday. Vincent had his own line for a couple of years; Bert worked for Halston. So far, Bert’s produced dated, not-very-interesting clothes that pass muster with the judges each week because they’re at least well-made (or because his partner fucked up worse), which is pretty much what kept Vincent in the running for so long. Had Bert’s entry this week been better-sewn and fitted, he would have spent the judging cooling his heels in the green room with the rest of the also-rans.

And, like Vincent, Bert’s got a repellent personality–though instead of Captain Haldol he’s just an arrogant, insufferable know-it-all with a shitty attitude toward other people and the show itself. Neither one is somebody you’d want to work with or for, and neither one is innovative and talented enough to make putting up with them (or putting your money up for them) worthwhile. Vincent was insane, Bert’s just a dick–why neither designer managed to succeed on their own, and felt they needed to do PR to get their chance, is patently obvious. And, like Vincent, Bert will disappear once the show is over.

As for Miss Clinique’s egregious schmatta: when a teenager creates a reference image for your work that is far more conceptually challenging and interesting than your interpretation of it? You’re a ninny, and no amount of concealer will cover that up. What a hot mess of kitsch that was–I actually groaned when he painted the initials on the skirt.

I could bitch about it more, but I just can’t find the energy to care very much. I can’t even remember the names of half the designers, for crying out loud. Who was that girl who kept making sad chiffon blouses that looked like they’d been slept in? Or the one who whined and quit during gym class? Or the chubby blonde? Or the nerdy boy in glasses (who I think is still there; I can’t remember)? I know these people have names, but I also know that I just can’t bring myself to care because we’ll never see them again after this season’s done.

I don’t understand why one has to make parallel comparisons between a current contestant and a previous contestant. I think this just solidifies the ageism that prevails in our way of thinking because both contestants are in their fifties. People are individuals and their personalities and quirks are a result of their past experiences. Why Vincent didn’t have long-term success in fashion is not the same reason Bert, who was fairly sucessful in his younger years, is just now picking up the pieces from where he left off in the late 80’s to early 90’s.

Anonymous

“Tlo said: Don’t get us wrong: this piece looks like a clown costume because he chose his colors badly and he really didn’t bring much in the way of sophistication to the look.”

OK, I’m late to the commenting game here because I was away for two days. But I read this the other day in my hotel room, on my iPad, and was going a little crazy because I couldn’t figure out how to log in and I reeeeeeeeally wanted to respond to this.
No self-respecting clown would EVER be caught dead in this outfit (and I know whereof I speak on this subject!) This is not a clown costume in any way: Not the colors, not the silhouette, not nothing.

This looks like something a misguided, hooker would wear if she was working a Renaissance Faire.

She does NOT look like any kind of professional clown. Seriously.

–GothamTomato

Anonymous

You’re one mention of the word “disco” away from getting the ultimate Michael Kors cliche string. Especially since there’s nothing remote hooker about this, weird billowy pants and the opening credits to Degrassi Junior High don’t exactly make gross men want to pick you up from the side of the road. For that matter, since when were the ’80s ren faire?

Lies L.

Bert shouldn’t have won, by any means, but I don’t think he deserved the bottom, either. It may have been hideous, but like you said, he’s the only one who actually made something vaguely avant-garde-esque. His problem is that he interpreted the issue as it was given to him: design something avant-garde without care for wearability and practicality. That, he did – but then it turned out that the judges just wanted gowns with shit stuck on / prom dresses / initialed craft projects / etc.

Somewhat on Team Bert again this week. He can be an ass but at least he seems to realize it, and he’s got skill.

vmcdanie

I’d be tempted to cynically rag on Heidi but Victor liked Bert’s look too and those two didn’t exactly have the best history together. I think it did manage to be visually interesting. I was reminded of Blaine’s pooping fabric Aquarius outfit but still-not boring.

Speaking of the Aquarius outfit, I see next week is another team challenge. Lots of dreary compromise looks and fighting. Yay? Lazy bitches, quit relying on the team challenges to drive your narrative.

OK, I’m back from my long needed vacations, without internet access that is, so I’m catching up.
First thing : What a ridiculous challenge ! Art inspired challenge ? Brilliant ! Art inspired avant-garde challenge ? Uh… What ?
Secundly : whatever with the win. I thought Anthony Ryan’s entry was a goner…
Third : Joshua, darling, you look at a nightmarish painting of a bloody, organic, possively sentient tree with an upsetting eyes on it and it remind you of your mother ?
and lastly : bye bye mormon boy, too bad for you, you just came back. At least,this time you didn’t blame your model…