Tag Archives: self-doubt

The owner of the FB page, The Fountain of Health for Plant Happy People wanted to do a little blog challenge. I decided to participate. Each day we are to write about something that begins with a letter of the alphabet.

Sorry for the delay! 🙂

Self-doubt creeps up on you, silent and stealthy. Then, before you know it, you’re doubting yourself and you stop dreaming of what you want to do. You fall into a rut.

Oddly, all my life I have been a risk taker. Not an adrenalin junkie…it’s more like, even if I have never done something before it is not a deterrent – I will do it anyway. If I see something or think of something I want to do, generally, I don’t stop to think about whether I can actually do it or not, I just set about doing it. Sometimes with not so great results and sometimes with spectacular results. So being plagued with thoughts like, “I can’t do that because X,” doesn’t seem to fit.

But then, something as simple as losing weight – a math equation as simple as, “calories in < calories out = weight loss” – has eluded me for some time. Well, we all know it’s not that simple, right?! Because we tell ourselves these stories that really aren’t true. After awhile we start to believe them – that we are too lazy or not ambitious enough, or don’t have enough self-control/motivation/support.

The hard thing is recognizing what’s going on. Sometimes it’s hard to see that we are mired in self-doubt and negativity. It seems like there is no way out but, honestly, a shift in perspective shows the way. Try to believe in yourself. You have to believe that you can do it – maybe right now it’s not perfect, but you will get there. You have to believe that all the previous failed attempts don’t matter because this time, this time, it’s going to work.

How to get around the self-doubt demon? Change your self-talk. Tell yourself new stories. Stop calling yourself names. Give yourself pep talks and encouragement. If you must call yourself names, make them positive (I am woman! I am kind! I am courageous! I am strong!).

This owner of the FB page, The Fountain of Health for Plant Happy People wanted to do a little blog challenge. I decided to participate. Each day we are to write about something that begins with a letter of the alphabet. Of course today, we started with “A”.

What does abundance mean to you? What connotations does it carry for you?

I often pray for abundance. I want more. More love, more money, more courage, more time…always wanting…always looking. It seems like, sometimes, that I can’t concentrate on one thing for an extended period of time because I’m always looking for something, anything to fill that dark chasm of want.

For years I have used food to numb myself from that wanting.

But I’ve been on this diet…actually, it’s more of a “lifestyle” change…sort of. I mean there are parts of it that I will practice all my life – like eating real food, like leading an active lifestyle and then there are parts of it that I will likely ditch when I reach my goal. Like the calorie counting. But that’s for another post…

So I’ve lost some weight and though it might not sound like a lot, it might as well have been 250lbs instead of 25lbs. See, I never thought that I would get here. I mean I may have said that I wanted to. Over the years I threw money at the “problem” and I got on and off the wagon but nothing changed. I don’t know…a part of me just couldn’t get out of that chasm of self-doubt. I wanted so much but constantly felt like I was not good enough to get it. I had an abundance of self-doubt.

I don’t know if it was reaching the half-way point – a place that, deep down, I didn’t believe I could get too – but I started making some connections. That chasm of self-doubt/self-loathing it’s like a black hole – things get sucked in and never come out and I was trying to fill it with food.

We all know that no amount of food can fix that. It’s like trying to fix a flat tire with a pickle. This realization kinda scares me because I can’t hide behind food any longer.

But I realized something else…I already have abundance in my life. I have lasting love right beside me, I have a good job and make a good living at it, and I have all the time in the world. Opening to what is present in my life right now gives me courage to face those uncomfortable feelings of self-doubt without having to be numbed out by food.

Abundance is all around us.

“Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.”
~ Sarah Ban Breathnach