KDs are designed/developed/inspired/mused/auto-suggested/indigested to make folks think; an especially uncommon experience among Democrats, Republicans, and jingoistic mainline denominationalists who continue to discourage dissent with their ever-threatening thought police.

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Thursday, June 26, 2008

June 26, 2008

As a parent, I like being with the boys in town and immersing myself in their calendars without the stresses of juggling my calendar around theirs or theirs around mine or, uh, whatever.

As a pastor, I like (beruf for the spiritually bent) being around for crises and hospitalizations, which have no respect for my calendar, without the stresses of absentee ministry; including the inevitable resentments when "pastor" is not around whenever "we" want her/him for whatever reason as if...

As a partner, uh, well, hmm....[How do I say this?]...I'm, uh, well, hmm, being reminded of my hermeneutical skills which do not include the stresses of being the non-handyman who can handle Hebrew and Greek a lot better than a leaky faucet; which may be why guys like me need to get away from the house instead of staying close to the house when on, uh, well, hmm, any kind of, uh, well, hmm, whatever.

@#$%

Non-vacation is good for catching up on the bad news in the news.

@#$%

Have you ever noticed how guys/gals like BO, SH, RL, AC, and kin are always so busy looking for sin in everybody but themselves?

It's kinda unfair and imbalanced.

Oops.

@#$%

It's kinda like JJ counseling BC on marital fidelity.

@#$%

Speaking of bad news, don't go to www.presbyweb.com or especially www.layman.org if you've ever loved the PCUSA and thanked God for using it to enable your relationship with Jesus.

Any connection between the PCUSA and Jesus as attested in Holy Scripture and upheld by our constitution is increasingly coincidental.

Thank God the Kingdom does not rise or fall on the PCUSA.

@#$%

A friend from Pennsylvania who is a little to lot left of me wrote, "You said something about GA. Does our denomination still have meetings? I didn't know anybody was left."

@#$%

A friend from Florida who is pretty dang theologically close to me and constantly bugs me about bringing out His best in my life and ministry provided some advice on how to spend three days at an annual denominational meeting in the mainline: "You call in on the first day to say you have car trouble; then stop at a motel and play golf. You are everywhere at the meeting on the second day, making every motion and seconding your own, so that you're totally visible and no one can say you weren't there. You have your secretary call you on the third day because of an emergency funeral which requires you to return home asap; and then you repeat day one!"

He added, "Somehow I believe you will appreciate this plan."

Geez.

@#$%

BHO has a brilliant political strategy.

If anyone disagrees, questions, or otherwise contends with him, that person is branded a racist.

JM, uh, has no perceptible political strategy other than alienating as many Republicans as possible.

@#$%

Imus just doesn't get it.

WASP men cannot tell jokes about women, gays, or other ethnic groups.

Women, gays, and other ethnic groups don't find anything funny about WASP men trying to have fun at their expense.

Of course, it's O.K. for women, gays, and other ethnic groups to tell jokes about WASP men.

Bill Maher and Chris Rock have figured that out.

If you think that's not fair and balanced, you may be right but you're wrong if you try to fight it.

In one of the very few brighter things ever uttered by JC, he said, "Life isn't fair."

@#$%

Speaking of asterisks, Terry Bradshaw just admitted using steroids while playing for the Steelers in the 70s.

Confirming suspicions of those iron curtains being, uh, tempered steel, does that mean the Steelers cheated a little more or a little less or about the same as the Patriots; or, depending upon one's loyalties and ideologies, is sin as prorated and reimagined as mainliners pretend?

If you're gonna keep MM, BB, and other junkies out of their halls of shame...

Oops.

I forgot.

Go back to the concluding clauses of the second sentence of this section.

@#$%

But I'm on non-vacation; so to quote another great American theologian, "What, Me Worry?"

@#$%

I like golf more than alcohol, weed, ecclesiastical meetings, and other pejorative addictions.

It's legal and healthy.

I thought of that while playing nine with my favorite Special Olympics golf champ yesterday.

@#$%

I try to play with him at least once a week; but it's hard to find folks who will play with him.

He's so honest.

He counts every stroke and doesn't take mulligans because he's not handicapped when it comes to integrity.

He doesn't improve his, uh, lie.

@#$%

He reminds me why He started these KDs.

He reminds me why those forthcoming Augustinian confessions are necessary as well as liberating.