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Dressing for the Job

Columnist Sue Shellenbarger answers readers' questions

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Sue Shellenbarger

Updated April 29, 2009 11:59 p.m. ET

Q:My daughter is a recent college graduate and works at a professional firm; she owns a nice, conservative wardrobe and dresses well for job interviews. But watching her dress for work, I sometimes think she still looks like a college student. How can I convince her that dressing appropriately is important to keeping a job?

A: Dressing for professional jobs isn't easy for young women. In many offices, casual dress is regarded as less acceptable for women than for men, and rules about stockings, jewelry, very high heels and other fashion choices aren't clear.

Geraldine Kerr, a Morristown, N.J., marriage and family therapist, suggests opening the door to a respectful adult conversation with your daughter. She may be facing a conflict over how to dress professionally without feeling older than her years, Ms. Kerr says. "A lot of professionals dress rather conservatively, which might create a dilemma for this young woman who wants to be professional" while still enjoying her youth, Ms. Kerr says. To help her weigh possible solutions, you might consider asking her if others dress casually in the office, or if she has trouble finding professional clothes that are stylish as well as fashionable. Talk with her about what her peers wear to work. Just listening and serving as a sounding board may help her find her own solutions.

Beyond that, making mistakes sometimes is part of making one's own way as a young adult, says Meg Meeker, a pediatrician, author and speaker. "We mothers can warn, cajole and plead with them, but by the time they're in their twenties, we're hard-pressed to change their minds," she says. Your daughter's choices may "cost her something -- she may lose out on a promotion or, at the very least, look like an adolescent," Dr. Meeker says. But "if she's going to excel ... she'll wise up."