Monday, December 3, 2012

McElroy lands the Jets: post game thoughts

It was a stirring win for the Jets in the Meadowlands Sunday, and all because the team's head coach defied his heart and went with his gut. In hindsight, that Rex Ryan favoring his belly can hardly been viewed as shocking.

But the Ryan-Mark Sanchez bromance was relegated against the Arizona Cardinals because losing to the only NFL team that might be better off without one of its three quarterbacks in the line-up, was surely the impetus New York fans needed to swap the paper bags on their head for air-tight plastic ones. Thankfully, Greg McElroy led the squad to a winning touchdown, and Fireman Ed was not called in to handle a potential crisis.

Needless to say, words have been minced since the Jets 7-6 victory. Feelings have been hurt, and allegiances betrayed. So to help clear the air from inside the Jets locker room---an arduous task after Nick Mangold hits the stalls---we help read between the lines of the post-game.

Greg McElroy

Said: "It was fun. We were having a good time. It was exciting to get a shot and go in there."

But thought: "I literally wet my pants on the way to the huddle. Luckily I'd had about three liters of Gatorade so it was green, and the guys thought I just spilled some."

Said: "It's tough to kind of gauge the energy. Obviously, I didn't have, like, a decibel meter where I could tell what the crowd noise was."

But thought: "I posted a Facebook photo of me behind center just before the first snap. I wrote, 'About to hike the ball at MetLife. OMG is it loud in here! It must be 130 decibels. Does anyone know how to beat cover 2?'"

Rex Ryan

Said: "It's just something that I sensed, that I felt. When you're around this game long enough, you get that feeling that, 'You know what? I've seen enough, and it's time to make that change.'"

But thought: "I believed the vest was not only stylish, but thinning. Then one of the cheerleaders pulled me aside and set me straight. She told me vests are for guys like Zac Efron, Roger Federer, and that slimy kid from Gossip Girl. So I made the call---skivvy or bust."

Said: "I'll let you guys know who's going to be the quarterback when I'm ready to."

But thought: "Right now I got a burn from a third-quarter hot dog, so I see your lips moving but the words are like a dull murmur. Anymore questions? Thought not. I'm out."

Mark Sanchez

Said: "I'm really happy for the team, and really happy for Greg. He came in and played his butt off."

But thought: "I considered taking a swing. But this is New York. Greg's Irish. A good looking Mexican kid from Long Beach who gets any woman he wants...nobody's ever in that guy's corner."