Many men labor under the misapprehension that the most difficult aspect of flirting is the initial approach. And while one can always sweat and obsess over the intimidating prospect of walking up to a woman and saying “hi,” the deciding factor is the interaction that immediately follows.

The importance of a first impression cannot be understated, and if you wish to score a victory, you must not only grab a woman's attention, but you must also hold it. Believe it or not, this is where the vast majority of encounters fall apart for men. Up to this point, they’ve managed to net the requisite eye contact and body language from across the room, received a boost of confidence from a few encouraging smiles and have now embarked upon the actual conversation. They figure they’re golden — they relax. And before they know it, the woman has thanked them for the drink and disappeared into the crowd. What happened? Well, whatever just went down, it doesn’t have to happen.

And the way to avoid this is to learn how to hold a woman’s attention.

Find a good conversational spot

It’s impossible to form a connection when screaming in her ear over the loud music or attempting to have a one-on-one conversation amid a sea of shoulders. If you’ve successfully snagged her interest at the start, take the initiative and lead her to a place where the two of you can talk in a more agreeable setting. Make sure that you've established a positive foundation first, though; a woman will be more likely to agree to this if she actually wants to learn more about you.

The bottom line is that in order to hold a woman’s attention, you must leave the crushing crowd and discussion-destroying music as far behind as possible. This shows you’re interested in more than her body, that you find her interesting and enjoy speaking with her, and that you respect and appreciate good communication. And if things go well during this “separation phase,” it’s that much easier to take the next step.

Maintain eye contact

If you ask women, they will say that a lack of eye contact has become a serious issue these days. I attribute this to the electronic age in which everyone, even adults, can only seem to stare at the tips of their sneakers and mumble. Texting doesn’t help communication skills, people. And after you’ve finally mustered the courage to speak to that exquisite bombshell who's been dominating the dance floor, you had best look into those beautiful eyes when you begin the discussion.

Now, you don’t have to stare into her eyes for minutes on end — there’s a fine line between attentive and maniacal — but always make sure to meet her gaze on a continual basis. Women don’t seem to have this problem, but let’s not forget that eye contact has a lot to do with confidence, and it’s rarely the woman who endures these trials at the club. Admit it, ladies.