Friday, December 20, 2013

A dear friend of mine posted this meme poster on Facebook. I admit I found it fascinating.... a wonderful example of how out-of-context half-truths about Christianity can be used as a club to whonk on what are clearly meant to be (in this case) Mr. John Fugelsang's political enemies.

Ahem.

Mr. Fugelsang needs to spend a little more time becoming more closely acquainted with the person he thinks he is describing. (Of course so do we all.) Nevertheless, let's discuss his points:

Radical? "Render unto Caesar...."

Nonviolent? Ask the moneychangers about that.

Revolutionary? Pilate disagreed. He sentenced Christ to stop a riot, not because he thought He had done anything wrong. He said precisely this as he washed his hands.

Hung around with lepers/hookers/crooks? Okay, that's one valid point.

Wasn't American and never spoke English? Not American? No He wasn't. (That's a second valid point.) Never spoke English? Hmn. He can speak any language He wants..... leastwise if His followers could do so a few weeks after His crucifixion (as related in Acts), He surely could have communicated in any language He wished Himself as well.

Anti-wealth? No, He just warned it was very hard for the rich to get into Heaven, not that it was impossible to do so. He reached many rich people, particularly Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea. Joseph was so rich he had a spare grave to give away. I do not recall Him telling either of them to turn over their wealth to the block committee for equitable distribution because wealth was evil (although 'to be made perfect' one might wish to do so). Christ DID strongly urged people--not the Galilean Department of Human Services, but individual people on their own--to take care of the poor man at the gate with the open running sores. Not to mention the guy in the ditch who had been set upon by robbers.

Anti-death-penalty? Being son of God He could have avoided his own easily, not to mention released a couple of other guys with him. Clearly the death penalty is part of a larger moral schema. (See also below about 'torture'.)

Anti-public-prayer? No, just those by hypocrites. He praised the widow who contributed a mite to the most important site of public prayer in the world at the time, remember. And He praised the guy in the Temple who stayed in the back row and begged God's mercy. It's not public prayer He is against, but bogus prayer. (He also didn't like bankers outside the gates, either, although I am sure they would have been welcome if they bothered to come inside.)

Never anti-gay? The concept of "gay" is a modern invention. He didn't mention internet porn either. He came not to abolish the law, He came to complete it. And the law He did not abolish includes some clear statements on the subject of sexuality between the same sex which He didn't exactly public denounce or modify. (His statement on the permanent, very binary and heterosexual nature of marriage is BTW right there in Mark 10.)

Never mentioned birth control? Since it hadn't been invented yet, He didn't mention it explicitly. He also didn't mention human cloning. But see above about the Law, which clearly mentions something about "be fruitful and multiply."

Abortion? "If anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." (Matt 18:6). Methinx being killed and flushed down a toilet before birth qualifies as 'stumbling.' At least I am certain He would take a dim view of this most peculiar institution. (See above about His approach to 'moneychangers.') PS He didn't say anything about gas chambers either. I think even Mr. Fugelsang would agree He wouldn't like them.

Never called the poor 'lazy'? No, but He DID say that they would always be with you which seems to indicate that this is an ongoing problem unamending of abolition. (PS He never called the poor so incapable of caring for themselves that a supernannystate needed to be created to care for them, either.)

Never justified torture? "....Then summoning him, his lord said to him, 'You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?' "And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.…" Lesson here: Forgive or else. (Gulp.)

Never fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes? No, but He didn't advocate marijuana use either. Again, let's stick to valid, non-contemporary issues, please.

Never asked for a copay for a leper? No, but He DID expect those cured to thank Him for curing them... which means they owed *something* for their treatment.

"Long haired"? Okay, that's another valid point. (How do we know? The Shroud of Turin, which clearly shows Him literally both crucified and risen. Which means Mr. Fugelsang might wish to take Him a bit more seriously.)

Brown-skinned? True but so what? So is everyone who lives in the Middle East, sooner or later, unless you're Edgar Winter. (Example: First wave Crusaders were indistinguishable from the natives by the time the Second and Third Crusaders showed up.)

Homeless? Temporarily, yes, He spent a lot of time on the road. But He had so much money coming in to help Him out that He delegated the ATM duty to Judas.

Community organizing? Try community *disorganizing.* "For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;…" Matt 10:35

Anti-Slut-Shaming? Yes but. He didn't want to kill The Woman Taken in Adultery, and thought nobody else should either--but He strongly advised her to stop being, um, dissolute. (Though He put it much more gently, the message is undeniable.) He didn't shame her... just told her to behave herself.

Middle Eastern Jew? Okay two more valid points.

Nice try, Mr. Fugelsang.....

One thing I don't doubt: while Jesus is not necessarily a middle class American, his reaction to those (few) Americans from the other side of the aisle than those criticized in the poster, i.e., those who pretend they're on His side while advocating revolution, fascist statism, the killing of the unborn, wild libertinism, expropriation of other people's wealth, and the silencing of those who quote His words in context would probably be very similar to He said he'd one day say to the goats...... or at least turning over tables and freaking out would likely be on the agenda.

Ergo: although Mr. Fugelsang is running around with cleats and a jersey.... let's not join him in using Christ as a political football, 'k?

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This was not written for chiefs. (general consternation) Hear me! Hear this! Among my people, we carry many such words as this from many lands, many worlds. Many are equally good and are as well respected, but wherever we have gone, no words have said this thing of importance in quite this way. Look at these three words written larger than the rest, with a special pride never written before or since. Tall words proudly saying We the People. That which you call E Plebnista was not written for the chiefs or the kings or the warriors or the rich and powerful, but for all the people! Down the centuries, you have slurred the meaning of the words, 'We, the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution.' These words and the words that follow were not written only for the Yangs, but for the Kohms as well!

CLOUD WILLIAM: The Kohms?

KIRK: They must apply to everyone or they mean nothing! Do you understand?

I like bats much better than bureaucrats. I live in the Managerial Age, in a world of “Admin”. The greatest evil is not now done in those sordid “dens of crime” that Dickens loved to paint. It is not done even in concentration camps and labour camps. In those we see its final result. But it is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried, and minuted) in clean, carpeted, warmed and well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and cut fingernails and smooth-shaven cheeks who do not need to raise their voice. Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the offices of a thoroughly nasty business concern.... -- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

DEMOCRACY is the word with which you must lead them by the nose.... you can use the word democracy to sanction in his thought the most degrading (and also the least enjoyable) of all human feelings.... under the name of Envy it has been known to humans for thousands of years... you can sanction it -- make it respectable and even laudable -- by the incantatory use of the word democratic. - Screwtape Proposes a Toast

I honor and love you. But I shall obey God rather than you. And while I have life and strength, I shall never cease from the practice and teaching of philosophy. For know that this is the command of God; and I believe that no greater good has ever happened in the state than my service to the God. For I do nothing but go about persuading you all, old and young alike, not to take thought for your persons or your properties, but first and chiefly to take care about the greatest improvement of the soul. This is my teaching.

And if this is the doctrine that corrupts the youth, then I am a mischievous person.

But if anyone says that this is not my teaching, then he is speaking an untruth. . . . - Socrates, by way of Plato and Steven Schwartz

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§ It's said that an infinite number of monkeys typing away at keyboards will eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. § What they don't say is that the total amount of matter in the universe, if turned into monkeys and typewriters, powered by all energy present in the universe, to feed the monkeys in question, working for a hundred billion years, can't possibly create as much as the first act of Hamlet. § One Infinite Monkey--i.e., a human being--can write all of Shakespeare's works in the course of a single lifetime... if that Infinite Monkey happens to be Shakespeare. § You are an Infinite Monkey. So am I. Amphibians are we, half spirit and half worm: monkeys in the sense that we are Steve Gerber's “hairless apes, trapped in a world we never made”; infinite in the sense that we are also immortal and we shall still live when the sun is a black dwarf. § If you recognize, like this old silverback, that we are a duality and not a mere mechanical emptiness--you may find my writings amusing. If so, welcome. Stay a while. And feel free to comment. (But keep it clean.)