Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Royal Family's First Round Draft

As most ESPN analysts expected, Kate Middleton was selected as the overall number one pick in this year's NFL Wedding Draft when Prince William of the British royal family selected her in the first round on Friday morning.

This came as no surprise to NFL insiders, as there was an obvious need to add a young, middle-class female into the mix of mostly male and somewhat effeminate male royalty. Middleton now fills in the gap that was created when Princess Diana was cut from the royal team in 1996.

Middleton, who was at Radio City Music Hall for the Selection Ceremony, gave Roger Goodell a big hug and then gave a poised speech about how she "always wanted to be a princess, and would have played for whatever royal team had picked her, but was ecstatic to be a part of such a great program as that of the Brits."

Middleton takes over at the Princess position, which was previously held by Diana Spencer. She also takes over as Duchess of Cambridge and outside linebacker. She was admitted to the royal facilities late Saturday, but contract disputes between the NFL owners and the player's association over a new collective bargaining agreement could result in her being locked out of the palace until a new CBA is inked.

The cloud of a labor lockout doesn't seem to have affected Middleton, who was quoted as saying that she would find something to do in case the NFL and the players can't agree on terms, such as trying on crowns and new dresses. Middleton has also been reviewing tape of previous royal games as well as practicing spit-shining Prince William's royal scepter.