Tag Archives: shoes

Hey bitchez. Whatcha doin’? Being stupid bitches? That sounds about right. Here, for instance, is a documentary prepared by some cool guy at whoever does the in-house documentaries for the DC Metro public transportation system, which everyone loves very much, and it is all about how their buses only break down every 8,000 miles, so give them a medal please. Also it is about ladies, and how they are so dumb.
Read more on Have You Ever Noticed That Ladies Are So Dumb And Stupid? The Washington DC Metro Has!…

Tennessee congressjerk Marsha Blackburn doesn’t hold with an oppressive federal government meddling in people’s choices — unless of course it involves sluts who want contraception or abortions, duh — and she gave HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius a piece of her mind about it at Wednesday’s Yell-At-Obamacare hearing in the House, pointing out that maybe Americans like their crappy cheap insurance that doesn’t actually cover anything:
“Some people like to drive a Ford, not a Ferrari … And some people like to drink out of a red Solo cup, not a crystal stem. You’re taking away their choice.”
Of course, a lot of the plans that are being canceled by insurance companies are the equivalent of a Yugo with a cracked block and four flat tires. The Affordable Care Act simply says that insurers can’t continue to sell go-carts and claim they’re OK to drive on the freeway. (Analogies are fun!) Read more on Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn Defends Sacred Right To Buy Cheap Shoes, Crappy Insurance…

Just in case you were feeling hopeful about humanity or anything, we thought we’d nip that right in the bud. Yep, it looks like the Iconic Christmas Story for 2012 has arrived! In Grand Junction, Colorado, a single mother and her three children are going to be evicted from their apartment just in time for Christmas, because the woman’s son shoplifted a pair of shoes, and the apartment complex’s “zero tolerance” lease agreement states that “any criminal activity on or near the premises is grounds for immediate eviction.” Read more on Here Is Your Heartwarming 2012 ‘Throw A Poor Family Out In The Snow’ Christmas Miracle, America!…

Airport psychic Janet Napolitano was listening to the planes go by from the food court, staring into her magic crystal homeland security ball, when she heard a Voice from the Future! It said, “Keep your shoes on, America.”
Read more on Janet Napolitano Has Seen The Promised Land And It Is Barefoot-Optional…

Important AOL spam site “The Huffington Post” has a Fashion Reporter! She likes to report on girly things like fashion. But sometimes when you let ladies post things on the Internet without a professional man checking them first, the Fashion Reporter might tackle a political subject, like this:
Read more on Huffington Post Girl Reporter: Michele Bachmann Is A-OK, Except For Ugly Shoes…

A very kind, smart, attractive young woman I know took grave exception with my denunciation of those medallion shoes all the District’s WASPy women seem to fancy. While willing to admit that perhaps they were, indeed, crap shoes, she was angry that I’d not leveled a similar attack on the preferred footwear of DC men. I’d never particularly noticed the footwear of DC men, but she was right! Read more on DC Men’s Shoes For Clowns and Elves, Not Men…

Rick Perry, the most foul hair-monster of a governor since Rod Blagojevich, has amassed a small collection of sexy shoe-fetish photographs on his Flickr site. The name of the collection? “Kicks for Rick,” of course, showcasing exactly how Rick gets his kicks. Next fall, will Texans want to re-elect, for the billionth time, a known shoe molester? [NBC Dallas-Fort Worth]
Read more on Shoe Pervert Rick Perry Collects Hot Pixxx Of Your Footwear On The Internet…

Remember when poor street hustler Barack Obama had big old holes in the soles of his Florsheim salesman shoes? Here’s a new arty sex photo by White House pornographer Pete Souza, and the shoe soles maybe have holes, still? Or are the shoes just blurry to fuck with your minds? Or, is America finally officially bankrupt, a terrible The Road hellscape where even the rich young president staggers through life with hobo shoes? (Also, note how he is on the phone with Benjamin Netanyahu, and making the “Bibi’s got a little bitty dick” hand signal.”) [White House Flickr]
Read more on Did Barack Obama Get His Shoes Fixed?…

Before the dawn of the Internet, people used to waste time the old-fashioned way: by playing solitaire on their shitty Windows 3.1 machines. Then Doom and Quake and The Sims and Spore came along, and time-wasting evolved into a very sophisticated and complicated activity that required thousands of dollars of expensive electronics to perform correctly. Thanks to the dude who threw a shoe at George W. Bush, the Internet has seen a flowering of incredibly simple and mindless games that would have been amazing and cutting-edge in 1996. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Shoe-Throwing Games…

A very brave man once stood up in a press conference and took off his shoes one at a time and threw them at the President of America, who nimbly ducked because he still has the reflexes of a regular cocaine user. This shoe-throwing fellow was promptly taken to an Iraqi jail, where he was probably beaten, and now he will be tried for, let’s see, “aggression against a foreign head of state” on the very last day of the year. Translation: Muntadar al-Zaidi will be locked in a coffin of live rats and shipped to Dick Cheney’s basement at the Naval Observatory, where the Vice President will spend his New Year’s Eve skinning and stuffing the hapless Iraqi, who will become the latest addition to his growing collection of large mammal specimens. Read more on Shoe-Hurling Iraqi Hero’s Show Trial Set For December 31…

By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, everybody, did you hear about what happened in Iraq this week? Obviously, I’m not talking about the carnage and the death, because the “surge” is “working” and the daily levels of terrible violence there have subsided to a point that is only a dozen times worse than anything any American civilian has ever experienced, instead of a million times worse. No, I’m talking about that Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at our beloved lame duck president! Read more on George Bush Vs. The Shoes…

The Code Pink liberals held their “throw shoes at Bush” reenactment yesterday, yay. A small but dedicated crowd went and threw shoes at a plaster Bush zombie. But then something far worse appeared, from the “neo-liberal” Washington Post newspaper: DANA MILBANK, with a cameraman, reporting on the fun for his next grating “local color” column. It’s hard to express how smug Dana Milbank is in this video, even by his standards. Don’t torture yourself! Just skip to the end when the Pinks start throwing shoes at Milbank instead, until he starts whining. [More protest videos at Nikolas Schiller’s]
Read more on Best Leftist Protest Idea Ever: Throw Shoes At Dana Milbank…

So the members of lefty protest group Code Pink were watching the YouTube of the Iraqi journalist chucking his shoes at shifty George Bush and realized, “OMG, why didn’t we think of that first?” And voila, press release! A forthcoming event! Read more on Shoe-Throwing Becomes Leftist Protest Du Jour…

You people are very on top of things, aren’t you? You say, “Ha ha it would be funny to have a game like the EcoDriving USA game, only with throwing shoes at George W. Bush,” and voila, here it is! You win if you get to 10 points before you have a seizure. [blogslut]
Read more on Throw Shoes At Animated George W. Bush!…

Nice dodge on the first shoe, President George! What the hell? And ha ha, Dana Perino got a black eye from a black microphone who later carved “I” — for Iraq! — into her butt cheek, because of Obama. [YouTube]
Read more on Iraqi Journalist Throws Shoes At George Bush Jr., Microphone Beats Up Dana Perino…

Alaskan anger bear Sarah Palin is such a real pro-America American that her klan rally outfits cost $150,000 — to go with her $4,000 haircuts. And she didn’t even pay for this fortune of couture herself, as she depends on the government and the RNC for such corporate welfare. Barack Obama, on the other hand, is a salt-of-the-earth true human who humbly campaigns by foot across the real real America, in these shoes, which he wears down to nothing and then get resoled like a good hard-working Depression era young man with big dreams and humble means. [Callie Shell/Aurora via DailyKos]
Read more on Meanwhile, Barack Obama Walks Holes In His Shoes, Then Re-Soles Them…

Here is the candidate’s wife at a children’s hospital in Puerto Rico Wednesday, wearing an insane ruffled-collar shirty deal to fend off the malaria. More photos of her towering over the shrimpy citizens of Puerto Rico in fashionable flats after the jump.
Read more on Michelle Obama, Fashion Plate…

Peggy Noonan sees the world through a special pair of eyes — eyes that were pried out of Ronald Reagan’s head just moments after he tragically passed away in 1989. How do we know this? Because a women’s website asked Peg about shoes.
Read more on Ronald Reagan Also Had Good Ideas About Shoes…

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!
Condi’s been a gal-on-the-go, a veritable Mary Tyler Moore of the diplotaunte circuit. She traipsed from Switzerland to Germany and then all the way to Colombia and back again. More importantly, using advanced Wonkette Shoe Identification Technology, we can reveal the shocking news that Madame Secretary has shifted her footwear allegiance from Ferragamo to Manolo. All this, Oliver North, and Robert Novak’s wistful dreams of a Condi vice presidency … after the jump!
Read more on Condoleezza Dream Team: McCain and Rice ’08!…

Can we talk? I mean, I’m sure you’re busy with the campaign and the rumors and the cancer-stricken wife and the kids and stuff, but this is a little ridick, ok? You’re in Iowa, there’s snow on the ground and it’s obviously fucking cold. I know that there’s some boys handbook in campaigns that says you can’t look manly and wear a coat, but you look a little ridiculous not, frankly. Go get yourself one of those nice tailored cashmere overcoats (or one in black and another in camel, if you insist on matching), they’re soft, you’ll look dashing and you won’t look like some high school kid who won’t wear a coat because he doesn’t want to look uncool.
Read more on Dear John,…

The first thing I thought upon seeing this photo was that I loved the shoes. I mean, I expected Hillary to wear semi-sexless old lady shoes, in the same way that she seems to always be sporting the semi-sexless pantsuits with the too-long jackets to cover every square inch of her ass and with no nips anywhere to give her any kind of curves. The second thing I thought was about the powerful statement made by a picture of Bill at Hill’s feet, and whether that was a powerful feminist thing or a total dig on the power dynamics in their relationship, but then I got back to the shoes. And then, I saw them in context.
Read more on Hillary, Can We Talk?…

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.
This week: walk a mile in a lobbyist’s shoes.
Read more on Revenge Ain’t So Sweet…