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Q: How long does it take to make $1,000,000 on the internet?
A: About 2-3 weeks, if you really work you can sometimes do it in a week

Q: Will I have to do allot of work to get rich?
A: No, just send a e-mail to 50,000,000 people with your advertisement. Be sure to include your full name, address and phone number so they can contact you with how much they enjoyed receiving your offer.

Q: What is the best way to advertise a business?
A: Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam some more.

Q: I thought I wasn't suppose to spam?
A: People who don't spam are losers because they don't realize how easy it is to get allot of responses to your e-mail ad.

Q: My web host says theirs a zero tolerance about spam, what does this mean?
A: It means they want you to spam because they have a zero tolerance for sites that don't.

Q: I found this MLM thing that says i'll get 3,368,420 for free! will this actually work?
A: Yes

Q: What is the quickest way to get rich on the internet?
A: Start a porn site and send an e-mail to 100,000,000 users telling them about your new site and why they should visit. Hey, everyone needs porn right?

Q: What does WWW stand for?
A: Their has been much confusion on this, however i will clear it all. It simply means World Wide Wait.

Q: What is the secret that all of these people keep e-mailing me about that will supposedly make me tons of money?
A: Spam, Spam, Spam and Spam some more.

Q: How long will it take for me to get insanely rich and retire from my earnings on the net?
A: 1 month.

Q: How do I bring my hit counter to its knees?
A: Tell it how much time you spent on FFA promotion. It will die of laughter.

Q: Why isn't my spam working?
A: You just need to make the subject of the mail "Re: client" and they'll read it.

Q: Email sucks. How do I make money off a Web page?
A: This one is easy. Register for a free account on Tripod then slap every affiliate banner on there. People will come like mad--they want everything in one place. They'll go to your site to buy magazines, install a CoolBoard, and get money while surfing.

Q: Why does my page take so long to load?
A: The disco ninja rabbit in the middle of your page might have something to do with it.

Q: Won't people be upset if I SPAM them?
A: Why would they?! People love to get email...everyone I know loves to get email.

Q: How do I get more traffic?
A: Reciprocal linking is the key. Email a ton of sites all at once that are totally un-related to yours...don't even visit their sites if you can help it. Don't use Blind Carbon Copy: let them see how you're emailing many webmasters at once.

Most importantly of all: begin your email "Dear Friend" or "Hello Fellow Webmaster!"...that gives each recipient a warm fuzzy feeling, and they'll be more likely to link to your site....or curse you out in their reply...either way.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote/font><HR>Originally posted by TWTCommish:Q: Why does my page take so long to load?
A: The disco ninja rabbit in the middle of your page might have something to do with it.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That has to be my fave. Had me smiling for ages after I read it, but then the prozac helped -)