The Lean In for Men Manifesto

Sheryl Sandberg’s best-seller, Lean In, has been all the media rage for the past few months. Prior to this Sheryl had acquired a well-deserved reputation as a scold who spent her Facebook work hours admonishing men to step down and make way for the Sheryls of the world. Not surprisingly, men being the chauvinist pigs that they are felt that the book had little to offer them.

Well, not anymore. Now there’s a Lean In for Men and guys being guys, we don’t need a book to belabor a simple concept such as “lean in.” We can manage with a one-page manifesto. So, here it is:

The Lean In for Men Manifesto!

1. The belief that one must earn societal and business rewards and respect is a vestige of the benighted past. It’s a left over from the dark days of the repressive patriarchy when society and business grudgingly meted out promotions, pay raises, and other recognitions of achievement only to those who had actually achieved something.

2. Under the Lean In philosophy everyone must be allowed at least an equal share in society’s goodies.

3. So fellas, do you want a promotion too after your co-worker got one? Well then, march right into the boss’s office and demand one too. If the boss hesitates threaten to stomp your feet because it’s all so unfair. If that doesn’t work, threaten a discrimination suit against the organization.

4. What about a promotion? Do you want a promotion after your co-worker got one? Well then, march right into the boss’s office and demand one too. If the boss hesitates threaten to stomp your feet because it’s all so unfair. If that doesn’t work, threaten a discrimination suit against the organization.

5. What about a seat on the Board of Directors? That would be cool, huh? Well then, march right into the boss’s office and demand one too. If the boss hesitates threaten to stomp your feet because it’s all so unfair. If that doesn’t work, threaten a discrimination suit against the organization.

6. The above applies to every sphere of life. If someone else has something nice then you deserve it too and the best way to get it is to simply demand that it be given to you! Radical feminism has taught us that foot-stomping and threats of lawsuits are highly effective tools of persuasion.

7. There’s more than enough of the good stuff for everyone, especially you.

@tacitus: WHAT? YOU don’t believe that respect and rewards should be earned? Did you get a trophy just for participating – cause to this WOMAN, it sure sounds like it to me! I “Hear! Hear!” this article, as a BUSINESS HUMAN! I am so sick of working with woman that do just what this article states and the ones that file their nails, fix their makeup, and tell you “you need to come back” because they are looking at their AVON catalog right now. OMGod! Get a clue and don’t come to work with me! Respect is something you earn – and today, you, in my humble opinion, did not earn any from me! (regardless that mine hangs a little higher than a man’s – I still have balls enough to earn respect and know that if I don’t, I don’t deserve it! (ok guys, point to your head…that’s where mine are)

@Kim…wait a minute…LOL Just to make sure – Not all women that stay until labor starts don’t care about their kids…I walked out of my office (working for 3 companies/brothers: AR/AP/Shipping/Customer Service and other odd jobs) on Friday afternoon, in tears and my boss had to literally pry my greenbar out of my arms and insist I let go. This was because I knew I was coming back to a mess because I met the temp LMBO! My daughter was born 9:06 am that next Monday! (I had two night jobs as well: entering data for a collection agency and contracted to set up 7 companies onto computer from manual books AND I was in school at the time to “re-learn the verbage” of the manual books to explain the process to the companies I was setting up (did the set up from home and then transferred to their systems ALL while pregnant with a bum for a mate)…I loved my work AND my daughter, who is in the top 12th percentile for science and the top 10th in math in the NATION; graduated high school a year early by enrolling in alternative high school AND started college a year early (on the Dean’s list from the first semester on!) was excelled in literacy from the moment of conception (I read to her daily from the time I knew I was pregnant until the day she said, “Let ME read to you Mommy!” Pens, pencils, crayons and markers from the day she could sit up! So, please, don’t read about one mom and think badly about others!!! (I just can’t turn my brain off and why should I when I enjoy it so much LOL) (oh and….my labor = butterflies tickles! seems the more active you are, the better your body takes it…wam-bam thank you mam! Not one “pain”. Not one. I walked until the baby made me, give birth and because I wasn’t in pain, they almost sent me home!!!!! LOL – just sayin’!!!)

(and, I love my children…all 4 of them and I work on cars and have owned 3 motorcycles (including when I had to wear dresses as a secretary-rolled em up then rolled em down when I got there!); I can take your transmission out of your car, take it apart (but need my dad to help put it back together after I clean the parts LOL – yeah go figure). I’ve help put up barbwire fences, weld the stock car my uncle drove, built barns, dug swimming pools, own a nice selection of guns and changed my own oil and transmission fluids (until 2009 when I was told “women don’t do that so…neither did he, LMBO so it costs more now and honestly the engines have changed so much) Drove a VW Beetle for 7 years for the simple fact that I could push start it by myself! Have asked a policeman who was so nice to stop and try to change my tire while I stood idly by in my skirt and heels, “I know you’re trying to help but I can do this much quicker and I’m going to be in trouble if I miss this meeting…can I do it and you make sure I don’t get hit?” (and I did while he smiled the whole time! Nice cop!). I’m also the only woman that goes camping with about 15 men in January every year (yes, backpack camping and I make sure I carry all my own stuff – including beer LOL)
I think MY point is that not all women are like this Sandberg or are sherkers, slackers or want to be men but enjoy doing things…just things in general and have been fortunate enough to have men in their lives that LET them learn. I certainly don’t want to have the world group me with the women in the world that take advantage because they are women (unless it’s in private hmmhmm and then, wrenches drop! LOL).