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My 7yr old won't fasten up her jacket

Hi, I am new to this forum so this is my first post.

Wintertime is fast approaching so that means colder days, possible rainy and windy days and very likely, some months of snow so, I am needing help or advice on how I can get my 7yr old girl, Gabrielle to fasten her jacket up.

She is really bad for leaving it wide open and flapping all over the place which I don't mind if weather is pleasant but if its not pleasant then I fasten it myself which can be hard because she fidgets and wriggles about, but I ALWAYS get it zipped up then say to her "its not nice outside so you need your jacket fastened up in order to stay dry and warm".

Re: My 7yr old won't fasten up her jacket

Hi Caitlyn

OOh boy, we've all been there! LOL

When I asked our daughter why she did it the answer was very simple. We did not let her choose her jacket/coat, so she was rebelling. Mind you we didn't get that answer until she was about 14 . However, I'd consider it some wise advice. I also did notice that once she had more input into her clothing etc she tended to take more care.

We want to protect them against the world and the elements but sometimes I guess we just have to let them "get cold" so that they appreciate being warm again!

Maybe you could discreetly get her to wear an extra jumper or cardigan or other top underneath and then you know she's keeping a bit warmer?

Re: My 7yr old won't fasten up her jacket

Just because she may not be able to express herself (yet), does not necessarily mean that she does not (or feels she does not) have good reasons for engaging in this behaviour.

I was such a rebellious kid once (and I am not from the warmest climes either). In fact, I STILL tend to not fasten up my jackets. Or not even bother wearing one. This is thirty years down the line. It was not so much about annoying anyone, or rebelling against a lack of choice. It is simply that I like the cold and fresh breeze a lot. I hardly felt cold - rather when I wear jackets and such I tend to feel really hot, which is not exactly ideal.

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

Re: My 7yr old won't fasten up her jacket

She certainly isn't rebellious, she is quite happy to wear the jacket but with it wide open, I can see that she isn't comfortable, she is seen shivering.

The good thing is, I sat her down earlier on and explained that when weather is very poor, I prefer the jacket fastened up (zipped and velcroed to the top) because that way she is comfortable and warm.

She did say to me that she only ignores me because her friends leave their jackets open so I calmly said to her " yeah, I understand and know that but they are a) older than you and b) don't feel the cold as much as you. I then said to her "I want to protect you from the very cold weather and know that your friends mums want to keep their children warm too so ask your friends to fasten theirs too but your friends open theirs whilst out of sight.

Anyway, Gabrielle and 2/3 of her friends went to park before dinner and because it was pouring down with rain, I asked the friends to go home and get jackets on, which they did. When the friends got back, I had got Gabrielle ready, boots on, jacket on and fully fastened up plus a scarf on and hood up, I said to them " now I know you ignore your parents when they ask you to do this but because you are staying over at Gabby's for a sleepover, I would appreciate if you didn't ignore me when I ask you all to fasten up your jackets too.

The friends did obey me and because the park is near all the friends houses, I got phonecalls from all the parents thanking me for insisting that jackets were fastened, my reply was "that's ok, I am just looking out for your child's health so asked them to fasten their jackets so that they stayed protected from soaking wet weather.

Re: My 7yr old won't fasten up her jacket

Sounds like you just had your first battle with peer pressure. That is really difficult for parents, because on the one hand you want to protect your child from peer pressure, but on the other hand, you want to teach them to make their own decisions.

It is a very fine balance to strike.

Glad to hear that it worked out well.

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

The only philosophy which can be responsibly practised in face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. - Theodor Adorno

Re: My 7yr old won't fasten up her jacket

I can totally relate to what you are saying, even my daughter had the same problem, she just had a reason for not doing everything that told her to do!I was at my wits end and didn't know what to do, then finally when she started her daycare, then only she started behaving, so I would suggest that you enrol her in some kind of social activities group where they teach these skills and discipline to your child, I am sure it will work.