I have one problem…

– I have one problem.
– Let’s use XML and Perl
– Now I have three problems!

Let’s use Java instead!
Now you have a ProblemFactory problemFactory = new ProblemFactory(ProblemFactory.PROBLEM_FACTORY);
Let’s use C instead!
Now I am rewriting the string library! Now I am rewriting malloc()!
Let’s use Erlang.
Now I have no idea what I am doing.
Let’s use LISP.
Now I feel superior, but it takes 200 times to run.
Let’s use FORTRAN!
And now every computer scientist hates me
Let’s use Python.
Now I just “import work” and go home.
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”

very long pause….

“Java.”
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
A Cobol programmer made so much money doing Y2K remediation that he was able to have himself cryogenically frozen when he died. One day in the future, he was unexpectedly resurrected.
When he asked why he was unfrozen, he was told:
“It’s the year 9999 – and you know Cobol”

Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Yes.