11/17/10

And now it's unanimous- I NEVER know the right answer.

As winter approaches, I have been searching for ways to blackmail and bribe The Golden Boy to keep active and help himself in this struggle to be “healthy”, as he grows into himself.

He shocked and surprised me when he told me he was trying out for his middle school basketball team. While I am bracing myself for the gut-wrenching “didn’t make the team” possibility, I am also holding out hope that his natural ability will outweigh the fact that he is probably twice the size of most of his prospective teammates.

We had to go to the doctor’s office for the re-certification physical, because apparently even though we JUST had a physical for school, they HAVE to look at him AGAIN.(I guess they need my twenty dollars desperately to help pay for their NEW bazillion dollar building.)

We approached the building when he turned to me and said, “He’s not gonna grab my stuff, is he?”

“WHAT?” I replied, trying not to crash into the stone wall.

“Last time I had my physical he grabbed my STUFF.You know, my b..”

“STOP! I think I know what you mean.And no, I think it’s just a weighing and measuring thing.It’s a re-cert.Not a REAL physical.No grabbing of the stuff.”I felt confident that I knew what I was talking about.After all, he is my THIRD child.

We sat in the chairs as the doctor discussed the Boy’s growing height and weight, and he reminded him about healthy life choices, activity level, blah, blah, blah.

The doctor pushed his chair back, stood up and I was convinced we were done.

He turned around, grabbed a latex glove and put it on his hand.

The Golden Boy’s head snapped around to face me, his eyes wide in shock.

34 comments:

The B**L check! We just went through this last week. Only my son's Dr. had an emergency so we had his partner, a female. She did skip the B**l check, she tried, but he wouldn't let her. I never want to witness that again.

Yep, I have girls. There was no B**L checking. Dude can have that fun all to himself. However, the Drama Queen had a yeast infection so she got the "feet in the stirrups" thing. She wasn't impressed. I guess I shouldn't have smirked when she told me that....

Ha ha. We recently did the Man-Child's annual. When the time came, I offered to go outside the room, but apparently that meant that another chaperone would have to be found before the doc could touch him "down there", so I steyed and fiddled with my I-Phone. I think I was more embarrassed than anyone else!

Hahaha...two girls and then a boy!!! Same thing...I was kicked out of the room for the SAME THING!! Boys physicals are different. Good luck with the basketball thing!! Middle school sports can be brutal!

I think this might be the solution to the irate airline customers being groped at security. The airlines should hire doctors to check, um, the sac. Expect a lot less griping because after all, it is A Dr. He could give a prostate exam while down there too. It's a twofer.

#1:I clicked on your goodle ads.#2:it IS really hard to be strong sometimes but the good thing is that emotional pain can't actually kill you. The sun still rises and somehow we are still breathing when it does. oh wait, that might be the bad thing about it...#3:i can't help with the thousand dollars but i hear prostitution is way more lucrative than teaching. just the tip- i mean, just a tip!

Don't forget to tip the waitress. I really DO live on tips....

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About Me

I am a teacher, a writer, and the mother of three children. I've decided I'll never give up. No matter how many battles I lose; no matter how many tears I shed; no matter how many martinis I have to drink, I will continue to fight the good fight! I love to laugh, believe that every day is a new day, and thank God each morning that I am still here.