Remember the last time you had your child’s hand in your hand like this. Was it today…………….a month………a year?

I know when I hold Grace’s and Emma’s hands I feel a buzz run through me, even what I am feeling overwhelmed with the challenges of life. It is also a reminder that they need me. I am sure when they are teenagers, they probably won’t want me to hold their hands. I can hear it already “it isn’t cool mum to hold your hand.”

As children grow and develop it is important for parents to find new ways of connecting with their children. Children at every age need love, affection, comfort and guidance. They need safety and protection which in the early years may mean that we need to block them from blindly running across the streets. But later we may need techniques for handling a bully at school, or knowing how to say no to friends and what to do when they feel anxiety. They need understanding when they make mistakes and sympathy when they come hurting. They need tolerance when their hormones make them crazy and our limit setting when they make poor decisions.

The goal is to find time to engage and connect at your child’s current level. What will you do to connect with your child?

No matter if your child is on the Autism Spectrum Disorder there are always ways to connect.

Steve has to go away quite a bit at the moment for work and the girls really miss him (which is a good thing). Steve bought each of us this little heart necklace so when he is away the girls can wear it to know that he loves them.

Lately I have been hanging out in groups on Facebook with women who have been through postnatal depression/psychosis/anxiety and a theme I picked up which does concern me I their linking of their postnatal depression journey onto their child. Very sadly for these women, who are still in the midst of the journey, they were labelling their child as the cause of their PND. This brought tears to my eyes as it is really important that there is no link with their journey and the child.

I know for myself for so long I have had the mentality that I had to make it all up to Emma for being in hospital with her for 5 months of her first year of life and I have been worried that when she hears about my struggles with PND that she may not forgive me for keeping her away from her daddy at the early stages in life. My psychologist at the time challenged my thinking about this issue with a simple why do I think she would hate me? When I verbally spoke about my reasoning, I realised that they were not founded reasons. He then said to me ‘didn’t you do what you had to do for them? and the answer is yes. I had to do what I had to do to make sure they still had a mum to look after them.

It is imperative that you do not blame the child for your journey because sadly it is not because of them that it has happened. We have to work harder to establish the bond between us and your child loves you no matter what. The best thing about PND is that you do recover from it and you can still establish strong and amazing connections with your children. But the first step is do not blame the child for your journey.

If you want to know more how Coaching for Lifetime Change can help you break the sense of blame and establish strong and amazing connections with your children, click on the link for more information

How Not To Run Out of Helping Children with Autism Funding

How Not to Run Out of Helping with Children Funding by End if Financial Year

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"Rebecca has helped me so much with my journey through parenthood by making me think sit back & think about other ways of dealing with my boys, she has calmed me down when my boys are driving me crazy & most important she has made me realize I can deal with my boys when I feel like I can't go on. "