A few notes about how I've cataloged the following: Directors are labeled under their most commonly known name (example: Aristide Massaccesi will be filed under Joe D'Amato). Films are listed under their most commonly known titles with other common alternate titles in parenthesis (example: City of the Living Dead (aka The Gates of Hell)).

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Warning: this review will read like that of a man who is at the end of a retrospective and feels like there isn’t really anything more to say. I apologize for the lack of reviewing that’s going on in this review and for the lack of enthusiasm surrounding this piece. But, hey, some of that is the film’s fault.

When The Ward was released in 2011, many fans of the genre — and of Carpenter especially — must have been thanking the heavens that the master of horror was returning to theatrical filmmaking in order to rescue the horror genre. Alas, this is not the case. This feels like the John Carpenter of Christine more than the John Carpenter of Prince of Darkness, and that's a shame, too, because that means we get the detached Carpenter rather than the Carpenter that truly loves the horror genre. In fact, The Ward felt an awful lot like his work for Masters of Horror: professionally made, easy to get through, but on the whole uninteresting and disappointingly average for Carpenter.

The Ward is essentially about a bunch of good looking girls in a mysterious insane asylum in North Bend, OR that run afoul of a ghost. Unfortunately, the film wants to be something more than just a simple ‘ol ghost story. Kristen (Amber Heard) is the newest tenant. She recently set fire to a farmhouse and is being treated by the ambiguous Dr. Stranger (Jared Harris), who is using techniques that the hospital’s head nurse (a tired and lame version of Nurse Ratchet) is wary of. While at the hospital, Kristen intereracts with other patients: Iris (Lyndsy Fonseca), Sarah (Danielle Panabaker), Emily (Mamie Gummer), and Zoey (Laura Leigh). I was going to give a brief description of each character, but I’ve already forgotten which is which. And to be honest, it’s really not that important.

I don't mean to give the plot synopsis short shrift here, but you see, and I feel I should type this now because it's going to save me about another 200 words in plot synopsis (so pay attention: this your SPOILER WARNING): it's pointless going through all of the character traits of each character and why they're there because it’s all in Kristen’s head. Yeah, The Ward is essentially a more dramatically flaccid, less atmospheric version of Shutter Island. And that’s a shame because as a ghost story with a setting that has some kind of sinister past...yeah, I could have been on board with that. But as it is, and the payoff we get, and the ridiculously stupid jump scare (one of the worst things Carpenter has done is insert that jump scare) at the end of the film, The Ward is, and it pains me to say this, about as toothless and heartless a horror movie he’s made with maybe the exception of Village of the Damned or Christine. There’s nothing that distinguishes The Ward from any other horror movie being made today, and, perhaps worst of all, there’s nothing here aside from some brief moments of Carpenter’s patented minimalism that even make it clear that this is John Carpenter’s The Ward and not just The Ward directed by some random person.

But since this is the end of this particular retrospective, I want to end on a happier note, so let’s focus on what does work: those brief moments of Carpenter minimalism. Iris’ death is the only death that is effective and provides any kind of scare at all, with Carpenter wisely just showing the skeletal hands of the ghost pushing her towards her doom (the scene is punctuated with a bit of really well executed and restrained gruesomeness, too). Of course, the power of this scene is nullified with The Ward’s stupid ending. Oh yeah, positivity! Okay, so at the very least Carpenter hasn’t forgotten how to do what he does best. One scene that takes place in the asylums shower, a ghost appears in the background without a music sting to make us jump, and then it’s gone. The whole foreground/background interplay is classic Carpenter, and it’s used effectively here. Also, we have lots of scenes of Kristen investigating creepy goings on without the aid of scary music (I’m always a sucker for silence in horror movies).

So, yeah, that’s kind of it. This review is probably as maddening and frustrating to read as it was to write. But, there’s just something off about The Ward — it feels more like later era Argento where modern horror tendencies affect the old master rather than the preferable scenario where the old master shows these young whippersnappers how its done. Still, Carpenter’s name above any title is enough to get me excited to watch (just like I still, rather stupidly, watch anything with Argento’s name attached to it) whatever the film is. One bad movie isn’t going to make me think any less of the auteur (Argento is something entirely different — although I still watch his films, I think many of us could come to a consensus that he appears to be done), and if I walk away from this retrospective with one thing, it’s that I finally was able to catch up with Prince of Darkness — which just keeps climbing the ladder of Carpenter films I love. Despite my less than enthusiastic response to The Ward, make no mistake: I hope Carpenter doesn’t sit at home and play his XBOX for another five years.

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Yup, a stale "Shutter Island" is what I thought when I watched it. Even though I liked his "Masters of Horror" episodes a bit better than you did, I had no high hopes that this was going to be anything but another autopilot project for Carpenter. Like Romero, if Carpenter never makes another great film, I won't feel too put out about it, because his body of work overall is pretty great. I think most people can agree that Carpenter had a hell of a great run in the '70s and '80s, even if it took a lot of people 15 or 20 years to realize it. They can't all get as lucky as Wes Craven and score some big latterday hits like Red Eye and Scream.

I stopped reading at the spoiler, because I still haven't seen the movie, but this is as good a place as any to say that this has been a hell of a fun retrospective to follow, and you've already got me on a "re-watch Carpenter" kick. Looking forward to the next one!

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