Cafe Wednesday Nov. 16th

morning out there... How's it going today??? john with momma and seems so far good.. wednesday??? atm cannot think of much i got to get to today..

maybe email our new doc and see if john's intitial physical apt with her is eventually going to get to a fasting glucose test also and if yes then have her put in a standing lab order for it and we do it sometime soon rather than having zoomies fast from 6pm the previous night until 11am the next morning , we go in at 8am for the test some morning soon and then head home quickly to let john eat.. john is not going to fast well at all and anything can do to help him is good.

am feeling pretty good this morning.. got about 6 hours sleep and that is good.. few minutes going to pour a cup of wakeup juice and look thru the stacks to shake the roof with some rousing music.. might wake the neighbors a bit but not going to wake zoomies as he is 35 miles south of me now....

Jim, am so glad you are doing better today. Had my 2nd vision therapy session this morning. Have new exercise now to do called Brock String. Tie string to doorknob, string has 3 beads. I put string starting from my nose and I look across towards the bead. I have a paper with instructions I need to follow.. Individually, one instructor realized that I need to start the bead at 12 inches away and ignore other beads. If I start to see two beads or lose the X that I see.. that means that my eyes aren't fusing together properly. I count to 10 each time I focus looking on the bead, and then I look away... and repeat.. The goal is to try to get the bead closer and closer. (1 inch close range and far range 5 feet). Boy, these exercises are making my eyes work. Gotta rest with doggie while I lay down once I finish these, then turn on the stereo.. do some eye exercises, look out the window, etc. Then I am OK again. Also experimented with having tinted, transparent paper (all kinds of colors) to put above what I'm reading. Really felt better than having plain white paper. But instructor will await doctor's approval to see what lenses to give me to help me while practicing (plus/minus).

Counseling yesterday was a drain. T has made it clear that I say "I don't know" in response to questions.. and the reason why is because "I don't want to think about it (a defense)." He is right. Had me thinking a lot yesterday; I will consider being more open, but right now am not comfortable doing that. I need to be more open, but it will take time. Will see him back in two weeks. Really helping me though with working with mum and helping me go out more, try new things so I get more accustomed to being out and about and talking with people. That is a start. My homework this time is to write 32 positive adjectives about myself. I'm not sure I'm going to get that done. LOL. He gave me one minute during yesterday's session to come up with 32, and he said that people who feel good about themselves can write many about themselves. I came up with "smiley and then a smiley face like that: ^^. Blah, lol. Oh well, have two weeks, and don't have my hopes up about all of this. But hey, I am trying to be positive. So we will see. May continue or discontinue appointments when school starts back, really depends on how I am feeling then. May go back once in a while to touch base, but all speculation at this point. And there is risk always with choices.

Anyways, went to sleep pretty late last night, 1:30 am ish, but am OK. Hope to hear from more of you, and Jim talk to you soon. Hope you are OK today. See you Thursday.

I've had quite a relaxing day, but I got a lot done. Got my address changed to my new one at the doctor's and insurance, followed by some lovely food shopping. Want to cook something nice tomorrow night! Had therapy in the morning too, which was good. When I came home I just went to sleep, haha.. I sleep really well during the day. Then I had a sandwich and went for a walk and had my piano lesson.

A bit nervous about tomorrow because I have a big assessment of everything I've done so far this year. Have to show a group of about ten people and tell them all about it. s: Uahhh. Definitely looking forward to that being over! I think I should be alright as I'm not too bad at bullshitting and using long words. Hah. SO SCARED THOUGH...

Gonna get some more art done now and maybe heat up left over food from yesterday. <3

ran out of cigs couple of hours ago.. so far doing ok without them. able to say no now.

think will do fried ham slices with tator tots and corn for our dinner.. now off to pull the dirty sheets off my kingsize bed adn wash the darn things.. that will keep me out of bed and keep me busy later remaking the bed..