Walking around today, arms bare and blushing from the sun, I thought about all the mistakes I had made. Choices that had hurt me or others. Beliefs that proved to harm me in ways not easily undone. My chest felt heavy and my face flushed with embarrassment. What had I been thinking?

And then I thought of my family--after suicides and car accidents and drownings. I know that these thoughts of guilt and regret aren't floating around in my mind alone.

But as I walked, as my feet made contact with not concrete, but the ground, I felt my body settling. Instead of anxiety, I felt the uneven pressure of mounded dirt. The tops of my exposed feet were swept by early spring clover. And when I saw the path before me--imperfect and overgrown--I realized that existence was never meant to be mistake-less. That nature constantly reminds us that life grows outside of the well-worn road.

Yes, I've done things I regret. I've made mistakes that have hurt me and others, in ways that I still haven't fully unpacked. But those mistakes, those over-growths, are not devoid of life. They are fruitful places where I learn how to accept, how to forgive, and how to move on.

I've been searching for a vegan cornbread recipe for months now...

Wheatsville Food Co-Op in Austin makes the very BEST vegan cornbread I've ever tasted. Moist and just slightly sweet, those slabs of cornbread are what legends are made of. There are many nights when I opt for a piece of their cornbread instead of dessert.

This recipe is an attempt at perfection. And like many things in my life right now, it falls somewhat short. But it is still very good, and I know that anyone who makes it will enjoy it.

But I'm still searching for the holy-grail of vegan cornbread. Who knows? Maybe someone from Wheatsville will read this post and willingly share their recipe with me.

But then again, there is a distinct pleasure in buying something already baked. No dishes in the sink. No oven to turn on. I don't experience that very often, and maybe this is one baked good I'll leave to another's hands.

1. Preheat oven to 425°F 2. Spray an 8-inch-square baking dish with nonstick cooking spray. I also like to line the bottom of the pan with parchment paper to prevent any sticking. 3. Bring the water to a boil in a small saucepan. 4. Add the ground flax seed and allow the flax seed to sit for 3 minutes or until thickened, stirring occasionally. Set aside. 5. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt until well-combined. 6. Add the ground flax seed mixture, soy milk, and canola oil to the flour mixture. Beat just until smooth (do not overbeat.) 7. Turn into prepared baking pan. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. 8. Cool on wire rack 10 minutes; invert cornbread onto wire rack, then turn right side up and continue to cool until warm, about 10 minutes longer.

Vegan cornbread sounds amazing, whether home-baked or bought at your favorite bakery! In baking, as in life, shortfalls and mistakes are how we learn. Luckily, with baking many of the shortfalls are still delicious! Thanks for the inspiration, my friend. Happy Thursday, and enjoy your weekend.

This is a unique version of cornbread. The flaxseed and the soymilk are ingredients that intrigue because I am wondering what texture as well as flavor they impart into the cornbread. It does look delicious.
Glad you were inspired by Wheatsville Food Co-op and I hope you do land on the perfect recipe you have been searching for. Enjoy the day Monet!

Girrlll I can tell you the secret to Wheatsville's crackbread. Vegan butter. Now, I am not absolutely sure about this, but what restaurant/bakery/patisserie DOESNT load all of their food and baked goods with butter? We all know, butter is the secret ingredient to any delicious, restaurant-worthy dish or pastry. My guess is theyve got vegan butter substitute all up in thurr. What say you?

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Monet

03/01/2012 11:34am

Good thought! But I looked on their ingredient list, and no vegan butter to be found! Just oil. They did use spelt flour and creamed corn though...so maybe I'll experiment with those ingredients.

Hi Monet! To be honest I don't know that much about your life but I love how you put the honest truth of how you feel out there. You have a serious way with words! I love cornbread, I can just imagine how good this is. I try to cook with soy milk when I have it and I have to say I think it adds an extra delicious flavor and keeps things more moist. Yum!

The path of life is definitely full of twists and turns. If I've learned anything, I have learned how important letting go is. Sadness, anger, regret. It's so hard to do, but once those feelings are gone they leave space for happiness and love.
This looks delicious Monet. I will save this recipe for when I make a nice hearty vegan chili or bean dish.

I can literally feel your words inside of me. It's those very mistakes that lead us to the place where we find restoration from our brokenness. Unpack those regrets as soon as you can, those are rocks in your backpack along this journey of life that you are not meant to carry...they not only weigh you down, they slow you down...The cornbread sounds perfect, Your a much stronger woman than me, I'd likely order BOTH cornbread and dessert....

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Jenna

03/01/2012 4:24pm

I used to AGONIZE over stuff I had done wrong, things I felt guilty about, etc. I still catch myself doing it sometimes, and sometimes the sick feeling in my stomach is my first realization than I am doing it. I made a deal with myself though, that I am going to TRY not to do stuff I regret, and therefore I should TRY not to regret the stuff I do. In other words, do the best I can with what I've got, and try not to beat myself up too much when I feel I've fallen short. I don't always succeed, but it gives me some breathing space.

We've all made mistakes in our lives. Last week a coworker who is familiar with my history asked me if I would go back and do anything differently. I firmly said no. I would not be the person I am today or have the blessed life that I do if I didn't make those painful mistakes. Would I want to relive any of it? NO WAY!

Living a meaningful life is about making mistakes, learning from them, and not repeating them. That is spiritual growth.

I too love cornbread. My husband puts some creamed corn in his to make it extra moist. I like the idea of flax seed, gives it a little something extra.

What a beautiful cornbread, Monet. You must have gotten a new camera, no? Your photos are lovelier than ever lately. Thanks for sharing this recipe and honesty from the heart. Always a treat to read you. Have a lovely weekend with your new furry friend!

Aww girl...I'm an introspective over-thinker, and we're probably very similar in that respect. But what I always try to tell myself is that dwelling on the past never does any good. Ever. Best to just move forward and be better in the future. <3

Reply

Mo

03/03/2012 6:32am

Funny enough, your opening words were something I needed to read right now for myself, as well.
So much love you, honey. Hope to hear from you soon. I miss you.

Such a beautiful post, Monet. You always have a way of lifting my spirits with your words. I'm still on the hunt for the perfect vegan cornbread myself. I'm so picky about it! Yours certainly looks delicious, though. =)

I am reading a book called The Power of Now which talks about how we tend to keep dredging up and reliving the past and worrying about the future instead of living in the moment (Now). When you stopped and felt the ground below you, you were living in the moment, hard to do, especially with what you have gone through. But it is a great read, especially for us women who tend to beat ourselves up. I love cornbread and yours looks really good:)

loved this post. i have those days too, just walking around and thinking about mistakes and regrets, your story is very relatable and it's very inspiring to read your positive spin on it. thanks for sharing, and this cornbread looks lovely!

While it's true that we all have the same amount of time in each day, there are ways we can better use the time we have to make it feel like we have more of it. That's why others are able to get more out of their day than others

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Monet MoutrieWriting and baking in Austin, TX. I'm currently pursuing my MFA in Creative Writing...with hopes of a pie shop and a book in the near future. Thank you for reading and sharing.