Thursday, May 13, 2010

13/365

And today i run away...

from it all. from every tear, every sad thought, every moment of weakness. All i know how to do is run. I don't want to be sad, to hurt, or to cry. I don't want to deal with any one of the emotions spinning in me. I want to hide under a blanket where no one can find me. I want to be flawless, to love unconditionally, to smile amidst the unhappiness, to find the words i so need to say. I need to feel the freedom in trusting not only Drex, but also God. I need to stop worrying and instead pick myself up. But i can't. I physically want to just lie down and sleep. I want to slip away into the darkness that night so readily brings. I want to disappear. I hate feeling this way. This selfish sadness. But it over takes me once again.