When she was seven years old,
her bed was pink and white
and crammed to the brim
with [[stuffed animals.]]And she loved each one
with [[all her heart.]]She would go to bed
[[whispering to them—]]stories about this and that
and [[every little thing.]]And one day,
when the little neighbor boy
[[told her]]that only stupid people
played with dolls
and [[she was stupid,]]she cried her tears into her sheets
and clung to a [[million stuffed faces.]]In the morning,
she changed her sheets
and took them to the laundry room
because [[they were dirty,]]and her mom and dad
asked her [[why she was sad,]]and when [[she told them,]]they hugged her
and made her [[feel better.->two]][[two->When she was twelve]][[one->Untitled Passage]]When she was twelve years old,
her bed was [[dark purple]]and crammed to the brim
with glossy magazines
that she [[read before bedtime.]]And she loved each one
with [[all her heart.->all her heart 2]]She would go to bed
whispering their words
and making sure she remembered
[[every little bit.]]And one day,
when the neighbor boy
[[told her->told her 2]]that she was fat and ugly
and [[still stupid,]]she cried her tears into her sheets
and clung to [[a million bound papers.]]In the morning,
she changed her sheets
and took them to the laundry room
because [[they were dirty,->they were dirty two]]and her mom and dad
asked her [[why she was sad,->why she was sad 2]]and when [[she told them,->she told them 2]]they said that it was just a phase
and that [[everything was fine.->three]][[three->sixteen]]When she was sixteen years old,
her bed was light blue
and [[completely empty]]because the magazines
were on the shelf
and the stuffed animals
were [[donated to charity.]]And one day,
when the neighbor boy came over
and [[told her->rape]]she was [[beautiful]]as he kissed her
and pulled out [[her hair]]and fucked her into [[oblivion,]]she cried her tears into her sheets
and clung to nothing
because there was nothing
to [[hold on to.]]In the morning,
she changed her sheets
and took them to the laundry room
because [[they were dirty->she was dirty]]and her mom and dad
didn’t ask [[why she was sad->almost the end]]because [[they weren't home->three2]][[three->ending]]She was still [[sixteen years old]]when she took [[a bottle of pills]]and [[swallowed them all.]]She didn’t whisper about stories
or magazines
or stuffed animals
or the little neighbor boy
who [[wasn’t little anymore.]]Instead, she crawled between
the [[clean sheets]]and, for the first time,
[[kept them clean]]as she went to [[sleep.]]end
A Some Strange Circus game
Written by Chelsea Sieg
Copyright 2015