Apple Will Now Sell You A $99 Pencil... You're Welcome

During the badly-lit pantomime marathon commercial that has come to be known as an "Apple Event," a California computer company announced today that it will sell you an electric stick for basically one hundred bucks.

Seriously.

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The media response was swift.

Apple stock was down by roughly a dollar at 3pm, but that might have also been linked to the fact that Apple chose the band One Republic to close out the event.