Ask Bish – We Didn’t ‘Fully’ Do It, Am I Pregnant?

Pregnancy worries from a couple who had penis in vagina sex without a condom but didn’t ejaculate

My boyfriend and I have been wanting to have sex for a while , but I haven’t been ready because I’ve been worried about possibly getting pregnant, etc. (I’m 16.) Yesterday we wanted to but he didn’t have a condom and we weren’t going to do it without one. Neither of us had done it before , and we just wanted to see what it felt like. We knew we couldn’t really “fully” do it, so we just put it in for a few seconds. I was on top of him (if that makes any difference at all) I only kind of went up and down two or three times gently, and he was only inside me 10-20 (?) seconds. He definitely didn’t come in me, but I’ve now learned that I could still become pregnant from it. We didn’t know that at the time, but he told his mom today and she said that there’s still a 50% chance, and I’ve been looking it up and everything does say it’s still possible. I feel really stupid , but he’s 15 and I’m 16 and we really didn’t know it was possible. It seemed completely safe. The other thing is that I was on my period. It started around Tuesday I think (this is Sunday), so yesterday (Saturday) was like the 5th day. It was the last day, I actually thought it would be over by then or at least not as heavy, but there was still a fair amount of blood. But today it’s pretty much completely over. I’m not sure if that is relevant at all, I just know there’s a slim chance of getting pregnant while on your period, but it was the last day, so that’s why I’m questioning it. I’m pretty freaked out, I didn’t anticipate any of this happening. I’m trying to stay calm and consider that 1. I was on my period so it might reduce the risk a little 2. if any semen did get in me, it’s still not a guarantee I’ll get pregnant and 3. it may not have even gotten in me at all. So I know (I think) the chances of me being pregnant are not very high, I’m still really worried. I know you can’t tell me if I am or not, I just thought I’d see what your thoughts were on this. Thanks.

Hi there

Thanks for your great question which you’ve kind of already answered. You clearly know your stuff about sex ed despite not knowing about the (very very) small risks of pregnancy from penis in vagina sex without ejaculation. We all have gaps in our knowledge about stuff, I learnt something new about tampons the other day and this is my job! (though to be fair, I don’t have a vagina)

I agree with your 1.2.3.

1. Sex during a period is one of the less likely times that someone can get pregnant, however this very much depends on how long your menstrual cycle is. If you have a very short cycle (usually) then sex towards the end of a period could be getting into the your fertile time. However if you are more like a ‘once every 28 days’ kinda person then it won’t be. Remember cycles can be totally random, especially for teens, so try not to get too worried if your period is late or early.

2. Even if semen did get inside you it’s still unlikely that you will be pregnant. If you were trying to get pregnant, the advice you would get is to have lots of penis in vagina sex (ejaculating fully inside the vagina) for a year or two. During that period it is likely that you will get pregnant. Some find they get pregnant really quickly, others not. Since you only did it once and he didn’t ejaculate it is very unlikely that you are pregnant. That’s not to say it’s impossible but his mum simply isn’t right to say it’s a 50% chance.

3. Yup it’s probably that semen didn’t get inside you. Although you only need one sperm to fertilise an egg, when ejaculation happens between 50 and 300 million sperm are released. There *may* be a chance of a few hundred sperm being at the tip of his penis in pre ejaculatory fluid but maybe not. Also that sperm is probably not the best equipped to fertilise an egg because they aren’t fresh sperm and are in a fluid that isn’t semen (sperm needs semen to help swim and to feed on).

One thing you haven’t mentioned is the risk of STIs. If either of you have had unprotected sexual experiences with other people before (or you have an infection which you didn’t get sexually but can pass on sexually) then there is a risk of giving each other infections if you have penis in vagina sex without a condom. It’s much easier to get an STI from what you describe than get pregnant.

So I hope this gives you a bit of re-assurance. Think about what you are going to take away from this experience for the future. How can you have sexy times with the boyf and have a really low risk of pregnancy/STIs? If you don’t have condoms how can you have mutual lovely sex which is low risk?

Let me know how you get on! Post a comment below if you like.

Justin

PS Lots of people are reading this and then asking me if they are pregnant. Hopefully this graphic will help you (you’re probably not).

Please don’t post a comment asking me to tell you how likely it is whether you are pregnant or not. I can’t give you any more re-assurance than I already have here. Sorry.

Mak

Okay so I am 15 & I am literally going through the exact same thing . I know nothing happened because he didn’t come in me . He didn’t come at all until later that night when he masturbated . I still am stressing about the fact that I might be pregnant because I got my period a week later , then I haven’t got it since & that was about 3 or 4 months ago . I honestly haven’t gained much weight but I don’t do much working out and there was a routine change because it’s summer vacation . I’m really worried because I still haven’t got it I just don’t see any reason how I could be pregnant . I told my mom (registered nurse) about how I haven’t gotten my period & she said that because of my age , that I could still just be having an irregular period because of it & that stressing out is definitely not a way to get your period back because of the fact that it will delay your period even more so honestly i don’t know . I’m just as lost as you are but I just have my fingers crossed that I’m not .

bishtraining

Eh

Kathy

My question is my boyfriend didn’t ejaculate (we had our clothes on and we touch each other and grinding like dry humped and fingering but he didn’t put his penis inside me) but I did. Is that a chance of getting pregnant?

Uhmm well this îš new to me.. I’m going to go into a bit of detail now if thats okay.. Im just really stressed out that i might be pregnant.. Im 14 years old and he îš 18.. And i havent really properly have sex yet but my period îš late by 5-7 days-not too sure cause it tends te be either late by a day or two or early in the past, it has been 2 weeks since we have done it and it was about a 1 or 2 weeks after my period finished ..we didnt have sex because of my age and the risk of getting pregnant. He only rubbed his part onto mine for a few seconds and stuck it in at the entrance for less than 1 min ,no movement of up and down.(i found out today that u still can get pregnant even if he just rubs his part against the vagina). He didnt cum or anything since we didnt do it but this late period thing îš really freaking me out.. I’ve been reading and taking online quizzes about the symptoms etc. Besides my period being late i have had none of the rest.Last night in the early morning hours it felt like someone was stabbing me in my appendix? So im not sure if it îš it or cramping from being pregnant. I havent had any cramps since then. My doctor has prescribed a dosage of 40g Roaccutan which this will be my second semester taking. Just thought maybe the increase of dosage might also have an effect on the period thing.. I asked my mom why my period could be late and she just said it could be a normal thing cuz of the hormones etc. i have not taken a pregnancy test yet… Please seeking for some advice and some sort of clearance weither or not this could be a pregnancy?

bishtraining

It’s very unlikely that you are pregnant because he didn’t ejaculate inside your vagina – but there is a small possibility.

However I have a couple of concerns about this so I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to people like your mum and your doctor. If you can be open with your mum about your period being late is it not possible for you to be open about the sex you’ve been having? It may also be worth talking to the doctor about using some contraception (this is especially recommended with the drug you mention being prescribed to you).

If you’re having sex where the penis gets near the vagina you are at risk of STI transmission so I would also recommend that you use condoms (even if the penis isn’t going all the way inside you).

Also is this kind of sex something you really want? If it is great, but there’s something about your comment which makes me wonder whether he is doing this to you with your knowledge and consent – is he? Is he as worried about the risks of this as you. The age gap could be fine, but sometimes a younger partner might not feel as able to say what they want as the older partner is. Just putting that out there for you to think about.

Smexy16

I did the same thing with one of my really close friends… We just wanted to try it since we were both virgins. I have been freaked about it and I have been stressing myself out so much. So I think this helps! Thank you

Justin Hancock

It’s extremely extremely unlikely that you’re pregnant from this (given that he was wearing a condom).

However, what I’m concerned about is that sex is hurting you. Sex should not hurt. Have a look at some of the articles I have on here about how to make sex feel really pleasurable for both of you (click on the ‘Sex’ category on the toolbar to see these posts).

dee

hi im 18.. i had an unprotected sex on my 13th day.. i have irregular by the range 28-35.. now im on my 36th day and no period.. and yesterday i got negative preg .. we both believe he didnt ejacuate inside i trust him cause after he pulled out hw cum soo many inside .. can i still be preg? cause ive been thinking that stress or fear of preg is the actual reason why im late late cause i keep worrying and searching web more or like 24/7 since we had sex

Anonymous

hi im 18.. i had an unprotected sex on my 13th day.. i have irregular by the range 28-35.. now im on my 36th day and no period and negative.. i knew and believe he didnt ejacuate in me cause he ejacuate soo many outside .. i believe that my late or miss period is because of the stress and fear of preg.. cause ive been searching and worrying about it untill i search on web 24/7 since i had sex

Veronica

Me and my boyfriend had sex and it was only in like 2-3 times and it lasted for a minute with no cum and he said he doesn’t have pre cum but even if he did the last time he masterbated was a little more than 24 hours when we had sex and he peed a lot and took showers. Can I be pregnant ?

Cat

so basically my bf and i were curious and he barely went in (like not even to my hymen) unprotected. there was a little bit of precum on his dick but he had peed before i came over and i heard pee kills sperm? im really worried about getting pregnant, i had no idea precum could get you pregnant and now im freaking out! please help 🙁

Anonymous

G

Hey so a few days ago I think maybe two days ago he only stuck it in for like 30 seconds but we didn’t have a condom and I sort of lost track of my period and now I’m scared, there’s a possibility of pre but we don’t know for sure . I’m only 14 and there’s no one in my family I can talk to for a pregnancy test he didn’t cum in me so I don’t think I am but how can I be sure?

Tashi

A couple weeks ago my boy friend wanted to have sex i said no but he insisted i kinda got overwhelmed with feelings but we still didnt actually do it he tried to go in me but it was too painful so i pushed him of a bit he was still humping but he wasnt in me he came on my underwear since that i had my period but i feel that i am pregnant my tummy is swollen at bottom right side and my navel is kinda swollen too am just really worried(I am 17)

Justin Hancock

Sorry to hear about this. I don’t think you can get pregnant from this, but I’m much more worried about you and your boyfriend.

It sounds like your boyfriend wasn’t really listening to your “no.” It’s really important that if we say no to someone that they listen otherwise it’s not consensual. What you described was not consensual and he has broken the law – if you wanted you could report this to the Police. Even if you are in a relationship with someone they should stop when you say no. Do you feel safe with him? Does he make you do other things? Can you talk to anyone about him? Have you thought about whether you can be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect what you do or don’t want?

If you want you can ask me more about this and I’ll write you a full response on here. In the meantime maybe you could read the following posts?

Maria

Hello. I really need your help. My boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. He fingered me first with one finger then he used two. It felt painful when he inserted the 2nd finger but then it felt better after a while. So it was great. Then we decided to try penis in vagina sex. But he had no condom, so he just made sure that there were no pre-cum on the tip of his penis. He even “squeezed” the head a little to make sure there would be no precum coming out of him. I went on top then we tried to insert his penis but it was HELLA painful. So I stood up. Then after a few seconds we tried it again, this time he tried to really stick it in. He pushed it in hard. I felt like inside of my vagina was being ripped apart. So this time our genital-to-genital contact was about 15-25seconds. But then I gave up because it was too painful. After that, we continued mutual masturbation instead. He came on my tummy. After maybe 10 minutes, I had vaginal bleeding. I was really scared. The blood was bright red and it was kind of spoonful? Later that same day, my vaginal discharge was sticky and clear. A sign of ovulation. I was also notified by my Menstruation App that I’m ovulating.

I’m really fucked up. I promised myself not to have sex. But I really missed him & we just went through a fight. It was sort of a “makeup ‘sex'”.

Can I get pregnant from this? Especially hours after trying to have sex, I found out I was ovulating. Is the vaginal bleeding a sign of implatation? Or is it because it’s our first time penis-in-vagina sex? Please reply 🙁

Justin Hancock

What really really worries me about your comment is how much pain you were in during sex. Sex should not hurt: first time or any time. You are absolutely allowed to say no and he should be better at stopping when he sees that you are in pain. Perhaps think about whether this is a person who cares about your health but also whether you are enjoying sex.

If he didn’t come inside your vagina you are very unlikely to be pregnant. The bleeding was because the sex was so rough and you weren’t enjoying it. This meant that your vagina wasn’t relaxed or wet enough and so there was bleeding.

Schimdt

Hi. Me and my boyfriend fooling round last october 31, nov 2 and 3 and we dis same scenarios. He didnt put “it” in. I am just on top of him and grinding above his penis. The “head of his penis is neAr in my clit and grinding on top of him i am scared because of the precum on his penis’ even though we didint put it in. I am scared if the precum could swim. Because we did this grinding thing for the 4th time this november 3. Can I get pregnant? i am so scared and worried

T

Hi my name is T
I am 17 years old. My boyfriend and I didn’t fully have sex. He just put his penis in me for a coupe seconds. 10-15 seconds max. With no protection.
He told me he did NOT ejaculate and I believe him.
After, he masturbated and we rinsed off into the water.
Could I get pregnant Fromt they 15 seconds or from rinsing in the same water?
I’ve been stressing out lately and I’m really scared.
I don’t really keep track of my period but I am pretty sure I’m supposed to get it on October 12. Because the last time I had my period was on September 12.
Please help

J smooth

I have a similar situation to this but I was wearing a condom. My girlfriend to was moving up and down a few times. But before that, she gave me a blowjob so my penis was wet when I put on the condom. After the moving we stopped and she bleed down there so we decided to take a bath together. She gave me a blowjob until I came on her body like her neck, chest and thighs. I tried to wash the sperm off her with water but I was scared it will flow down into her vagina because she was sitting down. So I stopped and went to grab tissues for her and let her wipe everything off her body. Oh and when we doing sorta doing it, when I pulled out, the condom kinda slipped a bit. I’m really nervous and kinda freaking out right now. Please help.

Justin Hancock

Amanda

Hello, I was wondering me and this guy had sex the Ither night we messed around for a bit then he put his or is inside me. It’s was only 3 thrusts and he took it out cause I told him we needed a condom. I’m pretty concerned I need help asap!

Daniela

I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend yesterday but he didnt have a condom so, he brought out is penis and i sat on top but he didnt put his penis in me n we went up n down for some mints… After that i saw alot of whitish n creamy subs i dont know if its from me or him am so scared and i need ur help… Will that get me pragnant?

Justin Hancock

If you were on top of him but his penis wasn’t inside you then it’s very very unlikely that you are pregnant. The white substance you are talking about could well be your own vaginal discharge – which is totally totally normal.

Lexie

(im rewriting this incase you ddnt get it srry)
Well anyway me and my boyfriend are 17 and recently like a day or two days ago we didn’t fully have sex there was no pre cum or ejackulation at all we wanted to know what it felt like (even though we knew we shouldn’t and we ddnt have a condom either )but anyway he stuck his penis inside me and it hurted but not alot so we were like that for no more than 10-35 secs or 1-2 mins and went up and down 1-2 (i was on top if it matters) but we decided to stop very earlt in the process cause we both didnt want me to get pregant so now im a little worried even though i did some research and i know there a very slim chance that i could be but anyway you could never be to sure (and if it makes a difference my period is irregular ) but anyway i was wondering can you help me

Justin Hancock

It’s very unlikely that you are pregnant from this. Even though your boyfriend’s penis was inside your vagina, if he didn’t ejaculate then there is a very very low risk of pregnancy.

If, after hearing that, you are still really really worried you could get some emergency contraception (in the UK this is free). For more on emergency contraception go here, and for more about sexual health services go here.

hanna

Hi Me and my boyfriend in the last month had sex unprotected a few times but they all only lasted 30 seconds at most and he never came. My period is 8 days late today and I didn’t get the usual boob soreness until three days ago and cramps have been unusually coming and going because I usually have them a little more before my period. I am extremely stressed out and I hope I am ok. I have a test but I am way too scared to take it. (I am 17). And I also spotted during ovulation which has never previously happened to me. Please please help I am so scared do you think I am ok? My boobs are now extremely sore but I don’t know if it is because of stress that my period is late or what but I want it to start I am scared

Justin Hancock

I can’t tell you if you are pregnant. If he didn’t ejaculate inside you then it’s very unlikely that you are pregnant. However if you have a test you may as well use it to give you some peace of mind. Look on the instructions to see if your period is late enough for you to take it.

Harsh

Could i get pregnant if he inserted his penis inside my butt hole…but as he said his penis was dry and i too cheked it to confirm…can i get pregnant from dry penis inside my butt hole for sme 4-5 secs…plz do help me….am really very freaked….plz…and am very sure he did not cum inside me…his penis was really dry…can i get pregnant??

Justin Hancock

Remember for anal sex it’s a good idea to use some kind of lubricant so that it can feel pleasurable and not cause damage (or pain). If his penis was dry it’s a good idea to put some lubricant on the anus.

Paul

So yesterday me and my girlfriend were having sex. She was on day 3 of her period. I didn’t put my penis inside of her because she had a tampon inside, but my penis had contact with her vagina as I was just moving my penis around her vaginal area(my penis did not go inside her and I didn’t ejaculate anytime) What worries me is that she usually has 28-30 day period but for some reason her period came back after 22 days. And I’ve researched a lot and some sources say that if you have those 22 day cycle you will ovulate within a few days after the end of her period. So my question is will she get pregnant if she was on a 22 day cycle period(still on her period), my penis making contact with her vagina( did not insert my penis inside her nor did I ejaculate anytime)? I was just moving my penis up and down on her vagina and the tampon was inside her. Also she gave me a blowjob before we did this

Justin Hancock

If she regularly gets a 22 day menstrual cycle then her ovulation time will be around day 11 after her period starts. Sperm can survive inside someone for up to 5 days, so if you ejaculated inside her vagina from day 6 after her period started then she could have a chance of getting pregnant. More on this here. As you didn’t ejaculate inside her, it’s extremely unlikely you she is pregnant. More on this here.

Avri

So im 14 and he is 17. This morning he fingered me and i guess we had sex just it was only about a minute because i pulled away and said that it wasnt safe he had it halfway in i think and there was a little awkward movement between us. This was both of our first time and i dont think he cummed, if he did i didnt notice. I dont know im just really worried about getting pregnant. What are my odds? If it makes any diffrence healthwise im a vegetarian; strictly no meat but i wouldnt say im over healthy im just average and tiny compared to him and he is healthy and not a vegetarian

Justin Hancock

If he didn’t ejaculate inside you then it’s very unlikely that you are pregnant. More on this here. (It doesn’t make any difference at all if you are a vegetarian)

Leaving the pregnancy question aside – is he really paying attention to whether you do or don’t want to do some sexual things? He really should be checking in with you about whether it’s okay to do a thing, particularly if you have any concerns about how safe it is. You might both want to have a look at this post about sex talk and communication.

Lilly Franc

Hi, my boyfriend and I had unprotected sex five days ago, and I was not ovulating. However, he didn’t ejaculate and he only got in 3 strokes. I’m now scared that I’m pregnant because I was supposed to get my period today but I didn’t and my cervical mucus is clear and thin, also I felt sick yesterday morning like cramps, I’m just really scared please reply.

Justin Hancock

If he didn’t ejaculate inside you then it is very unlikely that you are pregnant. More about this here It sounds like it was after your ovulation time, which means it’s not possible for you to be pregnant. More about ovulation and fertility times here.

ranran

Me and my boyfriend was fooling around. He pulled out his penis and entered my vagina for like 3 seconds. We never did that again and we did that on the start. There were no pre cum on the tip of his penis and it was so clean. We stopped very quickly. I had an irregular menstrual cycle, I had my last mens last March 4 and we did this on April 5. Could i be pregnant? Please reply. I am so much worried

Justin Hancock

It’s extremely unlikely that you are pregnant if your boyfriend did not ejaculate inside you. Also it was a long time after your last period which means that when you did this it is very unlikely that you were in your fertile time. This post explains everything clearly.

I recently messed around with a guy I’m a virgin tried to have sex a couple of times but I was too tight and we stopped , he never entered me.i’m expecting my period a week from now but I’m already freaking out that I’m pregnant cuz I’m cramping badly,my boobs are getting bigger, and I sleep a lot now, just very hungry.could I be pregnant help

Justin Hancock

If he didn’t ejaculate with you then it’s very unlikely you are pregnant. More about this here. You might also want to think about how you guys might think about different kinds of sex that you might enjoy. More on this here.

Emi

hello everyone, i wanna say something & its really important so i need you to focus on it please.
lets start, i’ve dry humped my boyfriend few time, and my period was late for 9 days. i kept freaking out and i’ve been stressed out for real. i got tired from stressing myself so i was like screw it ! whatever happens happens..
i got my period after 9 days late, lemme say the truth its actually happened after i stopped stressing myself about it..
girls, stress can delay your periods for real, you can’t get pregnant from dry humping, relax & chill, try to stop thinking please & you’ll get your period, trust me i’ve been in the same situation.
good luck girls <3 !