Summary: A world, a galaxy, an universe unstable and shaking because of an eternal war. The Jedi against the Sith. The light side against the dark side.
Is there a possible way out of this cursed circle? Master Arren Kae saw too much of her Jedi friends becoming what they swore to fight until the very end. Was there no other alternative? Isn't there a way for everyone to express different arguments and live in peace? Is there no hope for the Republic? For democracy? Her answer came right after meeting the young promising Padawan of Master Kreia. Revan.
Please watch this other side of the story. The story of Revan.

Author's note: My grammar is bad, I know...(and english is not my first language so it doesn't help lol) Can someone help me with that?
I'm so sure I've made mistakes that I could cut my hand (french expression, hahaha)

STAR WARS THE GENTLE BROKEN PROMISE

...

We won.

We won the Mandalorian War, we have hunted them down until the end of the galaxy.

They have murdered many people only for their 'honor', to fight a strong opponent.

The republic.

We won the war and yet...

Even as I stabbed their leader, Mandalor, with my lightsaber, I knew...

As my tears were overflowing...

As I kept watching Master Arren Kae's cold body in a pool of blood.

I knew.

I've lost...

Not only myself...

But everything I believed in...

Chapter 0: A promise born of courage

Spring is a very beautiful season, especially on the planet Dantooine.

Flowers and various plants give life to the landscape, something that doesn't exist on Coruscant. On this world there was a serenity that you can't find everywhere. The perfect place for the training of a Jedi.

For young Padawan Revan, this place felt quite special. Here, he felt peace.

Today as usual has been quite a day. Studying, training with a saber and focus on the force.

Lift a small rock and push it with the force.

That was just a small part of training. From what the masters said, he was quite a quick learner.

His friend, Malak, got fired up and decided to train himself to catch up with Revan.

Even Master Kreia praised him! Usually she wouldn't give a praise so quickly.

Revan felt very proud of himself, he could almost achieve what most older apprentices could do.

Maybe soon he could have his first lightsaber...

"You did a good work today...But don't get too cocky."

"-? !"

He gasped and turned around to face the intruder.

How come he didn't heard or felt her presence?

Maybe it was normal, she was a Jedi master after all.

Master Arren Kae. She was one of his master.

She was wearing a white Jedi robe, had long silver hair and light blue eyes.

The woman laughed quietly and said with a grin : " A jedi should be more alert of his surroundings."

He turned red at this and sulked.

Arren laughed even more. She waved her hand in front of her and said : "Sorry Revan...I'm only teasing."

Then she looked at the place where they were : "Beside that, this place is very beautiful."

Indeed it was. it was a field of white flowers, not too far away from the Jedi enclave.

After inspecting the place a bit more, she stared at her student and noticed that he seemed very calm.

Revan had a kind heart with an inner fire. But here that fire was stable.

The older woman smiled gently and asked him : "Do you like the enclave on Dantooine better than the Jedi temple?"

His surprise at the question soon turned to confusion.

"It's not that I don't like the Jedi temple on Coruscant...it's just that..." He smiled and told her :

"There is something special about this place, not because it's beautiful, There is a peaceful ..."

"...atmosphere?" asked Arren Kae.

Revan nodded eagerly.

She smiled and explained : "It's because the force has a strong connection with this place...if only..."

Her eyes became distant and wasn't smiling anymore. It surprised Revan since he never really got to see such attitude from Master Arren.

She could felt the impatience of her student for her to continue her sentence.

"If only there were more places like this in the galaxy."

"There aren't many of them?" asked a curious Revan. This time, her face was sad.

She was still looking at the landscape filled with flowers but she kept talking :

"There are, however, many of them were devastate because of war or because of fights against the Sith."
Master Arren's hair were dancing in the wind and Revan couldn't see her expression because of her hair in front of her face.

She kept silence for a moment, as if she was reflecting if it was alright to say what she was going to say:

"Is it really alright this way?"

"What do you mean Master?" It was as if she just realized Revan was there too.

She looked at him with an expression nonchalant then turned her gaze toward the horizon.

"It's not only the war against the Sith...Many Jedi, some of the most talented and most trustful member of our order leave to join the Sith and fall to the dark side. For all sort of reasons..."

She sighed deeply as she remember many of her Jedi friends, people she knew since childhood, turned to the dark side. Telling her either to join them or that she couldn't understand.

"For power, for not believing in republic anymore, for losing someone important and being filled with grieve, believing the Jedi Order can't bring true justice...And many, many other reasons."

She gritted her teeth as she remember some of her friends' words :

The Jedi order and the Republic are weak, they will bring us to our doom!

The Jedi try only to retain our true potential!

She died! She DIED! ! ! I can only avenge her by killing that fiend and I can't!

If the Jedi can't bring justice to the innocent who died then I will by my own way!

Wasn't there...Anything we could do for them?

Wasn't there a way to understand? To compromise?

Without falling so lowly as them?

We are Jedi, protector, guardians of peace. We fight for peace and Justice.

How can we still call ourselves this if we can't even protect the mind of those we are supposed to protect?

"Master Arren?"

Arren Kae opened slowly her eyes and turned her face to Revan. She forced a smile and said:

"Sorry, I'm probably confusing you with all this."

Then she crouch down toward him : "But do you know why I'm telling you this?"

Revan shook his head to say no.

Then Arren put a hand on his head, stroking gently his long black hair.

And smiled kindly : "Because I believe that someday you will understand and bring peace to this galaxy."

His light brown eyes widen.

"You have a kind heart and a strong will that most adults doesn't have. Keep these things close to your mind and you will get strong enough to protect the Jedi order the republic and most of all..."

She got up.

"All lives in this galaxy."

She began to leave, leaving Revan in his thoughts.

He kept silence the whole event.

"I..."

-Next day-

"...And then, after training myself hard, I could push the small rock like you did yesterday!"

Malak was explaining so many things that Revan kept forgetting about it.

He had other things in his mind.

"Revan? Revan! You're not even listening!" sulked Malak.

"Uh? Oh sorry Malak, I have something to do." He began to leave.

"What? What do you have to do? Training only start in one hour."

"I'll tell you about it later!"

-Outside the enclave Jedi-

She should be here somewhere meditating...Ah! There she is!

"Master Arren!" Revan ran toward the silver haired master. She was meditating next a fountain.

And she was alone too.

She didn't open her eyes and said with an amused tone : "Calm down Revan, take a deep breath."

He took a deep breath....Lots of deep breath before talking :

"I...(panting) I was looking for you."

"Oh? Is that so? Does Master Kreia has something else to reproach me?" she said bitterly Kreia's name.

She seemed a bit worried. As if she thought that maybe it was a bad idea to talk about it.

Revan took a deep breath and had a determinate look on his face.

"I don't know what I can do about it...But even so."

Because I believe that someday you will understand and bring peace to this galaxy.

"I'll try. I'll do my best to change the course of this cursed circle. And someday I'll show Master Arren a world without the Sith. A World at peace where we can understand each other. Where people doesn't need to join the dark side."

Arren's eyes widen at his words and was surprised of his maturity.

Maybe...

"I'll make a better Jedi order and bring Justice to this Galaxy!"

Just maybe...

What I've lost wasn't lost after all.

"I promise!"

She kept silence and gazed into his brown eyes full of determination.

"I see...Then..."

She smiled and began to leave toward the Jedi enclave.

"I'll look forward it."

A modest answer of a master Jedi.

A holly vow from a future champion of Light.

A promise born of courage...

...And died of despair.

END OF CHAPTER 0.

Argh...It's very hard to write about a character we don't know much about.
I hope it wasn't too boring...

I like your style, the writing is good and the English flows well enough. The premise is interesting and you balance well dialogues with description. I think the main thing you might want to work on is your paragraphs - you start a new paragraph with every single sentence and it's a little unsettling for the reader.

Some sentences are phrased a little awkwardly, this one for instance :
"He was surprised by that question, but it quickly changed into confusion"

It would sound more natural if you wrote, say, "His surprise at the question soon turned to confusion". Just an exemple.

There are also a few minor mistakes, like this one :
"If only there was more places like this in the galaxy."

It's "if only there were", since it's plural.

But really, it's the kind of minor mistakes that will disappear gradually as you get more practice, so the best way to improve that is just to keep writing.

"She sighed deeply as she remember many of her Jedi friends,"

There's a little problem here, a minute ago we were in Revan's head and now we're in Arren Kae's. Head-hopping is not a good idea generally speaking, as it confuses the reader, so personally I find it best to pick one point of view and stick to it, at least for a given scene. That doesn't mean you can't tell the same scene from the point of view of two different people, but don't switch back and forth all the time.

Overall I liked it, pre-fall Revan is always an interesting character and I liked how you managed to convey his curiousity and open-mindedness, as well as Arren's conflict. I always imagine Revan to be more wilful and determined, but I tend to forget people aren't born that way, and the war probably contributed a great deal to forging the steel in Revan's personality... the story flowed well enough, and the beginning is enticing and makes us want more. I'd be interested to read more of it !

Summary: A world, a galaxy, an universe unstable and shaking because of an eternal war. The Jedi against the Sith. The light side against the dark side.
Is there a possible way out of this cursed circle? Master Arren Kae saw too much of her Jedi friends becoming what they swore to fight until the very end. Was there no other alternative? Isn't there a way for everyone to express different arguments and live in peace? Is there no hope for the Republic? For democracy? Her answer came right after meeting the young promising Padawan of Master Kreia. Revan.
Please watch this other side of the story. The story of Revan.

STAR WARS THE GENTLE BROKEN PROMISE

This wasn't supposed to happen...
It's what I thought as the light inside me slowly died.
Soon enough I realize the Jedi code doesn't have the answers I search for.
Where is the peace, when you only feel the emotions?
Where is the knowledge, when at a time like this my only ally is the ignorance?
The pieces of the past I've gathered together are mixed.
When...?
When have I failed Revan?
And when did he became my fall?

(Kreia)

Chapter 1: Let the dream or the illusion live?

...

Again. That woman was teaching Revan again.
Preparing him for when he will wield a lightsaber.

Attack.
Block.
Attack.
Dodge.

"Good! You are getting better. However..."

Attack.
Saber on the floor.

"You have to work a bit more on your speed." Revan, surprised by the attack, fell down and let go of his saber. He got up and said:

"That's unfair Master Arren! I didn't know about that move!"

Master Arren Kae laughed a bit and grinned. Before she could say something, a strict voice came from behind Revan. Arren could recognize that voice anywhere. A strict and cold voice that she wasn't fond of.

"Do you think that every opponents will give you a list of all moves they can do? Revan."

The young man in question, turned around to face his master : "But Master Kreia...!"

But as soon as he saw her blind eyes full of reproach and her cold expression, he couldn't say anything.

"Well?"

Because he knew she was right. Frustrated of being without answers and sad of being scolded, Revan said : "No master...That's why I have work hard."

Kreia stared at her padawan for a moment. Even if she was blind and could only 'see' because of the force, it was as if she could see everything through his mind.

"Good." She said, ignoring her apprentice's feelings.

In the meanwhile, Master Arren Kae, who was looking at the whole scene, was angry.

There was no need to be so uptight with Revan. He was getting better and now, instead of praising him, Master Kreia ruined the mood with one of her scolding.

"You have now a training session with Master Vandar, I believe...you can go." Revan left the room with a somber expression on his face.
Kreia sighed and went back to her work. She had much to do, update one of the Jedi order computer with new knowledge recently found, putting back some Holocrons in the Jedi Archives,...

...?

She could feel someone staring at her with a burning feeling.

The feeling called anger.

This sort of emotions shouldn't be felt by a Jedi, however she knew a certain female Jedi who possessed a very...undisciplined personality. Kreia didn't needed the force to notice that she didn't leave the room and wanted to say something.

"Master Kae...If you do have something to say, please say it. I don't have the time for this sort of nonsense."

Kreia felt Arren's anger grown. She smirked, it was so easy to make that woman angry. She really fail as a Jedi. In every sense possible.

Kreia turned her chair around to face the other master : " Effort? You call this an effort? he can do far more better than this. Praising him has made him arrogant. If he think he can become a Jedi Knight easily, then he is wrong...And it's easy to know where this wrong thought come from."

The long silver haired woman's eyes widen and turned into a glare.

"Are you saying it's my fault?"

Kreia ignored the glare and kept a calm...or more likely, cold expression.

"Don't think I didn't notice your little speech about peace and a galaxy without Sith." Said bitterly the slightly older Jedi master. She lifted with the force one of the small holocron, made it levitate and looked in its direction.

"Such a thing doesn't exist. As long as Jedi lives, as long as the republic stand tall, there always will be conflicts. Be it within the Jedi order or elsewhere. The life of a Jedi is always of battles, in the name of a peace that we won't know."

She pause and now looked in Arren's direction.

"There always will be Jedi to fight for the Jedi order and Jedi who will fall to the dark side. The Justice we can bring is always for a short moment." She frowned and glared toward Arren.

"What you teach to Revan...to MY padawan is a pipe dream that will never become reality. You teach him of peace, such a strong word that can shatter at any time to be build back again."

Arren Kae gritted her teeth and moved her hands in anger : "It's not a 'pipe dream' ! I do believe that one day true peace will be established! True enough...maybe we won't be there to see it...But the next generations of the Jedi order will! I'm sure of it!"

Kreia putted down the holocron on the table, frowned even more : "And how can you be so sure? On what is based your theory? Hope?"

Arren's eyes widen.

"Could it be that you...just hope it will become like that? What you said are just pretty words...but if you don't put them into action, they will be meaningless." said Master Kreia.

The silver long haired master tighten her fist.

"A Jedi must believe in more than just mere hope. It's a luxury we can't effort."

She gritted her teeth at the Jedi master historian's words.

"Therefore, I would like that you keep your...'conciliated' teaching for yourself and stop filling Revan's head with them." She turned toward the computer once more and began to work.

A moment passed, until : "I won't give up on it."

She stopped and looked back at Arren Kae. Strangely she wasn't angry anymore, on the contrary, she was rather calm. Kreia raised an eyebrow and asked : "What?"

Arren was now smiling gently, while remembering Revan's words :

I'll try. I'll do my best to change the course of this cursed circle. And someday I'll show Master Arren a world without the Sith. A World at peace where we can understand each other. Where people doesn't need to join the dark side.

I promise!

Then she looked at Kreia with a determined look: "I know there is a certain truth in your words...But if we give up on hope and live only with facts then nothing will be truly achieved! That is what we got and what the Sith doesn't. That is why I believe in Revan's promise. Those weren't the idealistic words of a child...but the words of a future champion of light."

"You know it better more than anyone, right Master Kreia?" asked Arren with a grin.

Kreia's white eyes widen only for a bit.

"That's why you train him this hard and was worried about my teaching ruining his future...In true...you really like Revan like your own son."

Kreia said nothing but her eyes soften a bit at what she said.

But it lasted only for 5 seconds. She didn't wanted to show anything she felt to that woman.

"Somehow I...really envy you." said softly Arren.

The bond you two share as a master and student...Like a mother and a son...I...
I wish I could have the same with...

Arren Kae shook her head and decided to leave it to that.

"Anyway, please don't be too hard on Revan. He'll be fine. He is the future Hero of the Jedi order after all! I'll guaranty it!"

As Master Arren leaved the room, Master Kreia stared at the door for a moment. Frowned her eyebrows and kept working.

Well, I don't know if there are other Frenchies beside the two of us, but I'm sure there must be plenty of different countries represented here.

So, anyway, read the second entry and here are my thoughts, written down as I read it.

Revan saying he is a genius sounds a little arrogant. You'd expect at least Kreia, if not Aren, to scold him for it, since pride is not encouraged by the Jedi. She does mention later on that he is arrogant, but you'd expect her to still say something about Revan thinking he is a genius (whether that is true or not is irrelevant if she is trying to teach him humility).
"Good." She said while ignoring her apprentice's feelings.

You don't really need to specify "while", I think it would sound better if you wrote "She said, ignoring her apprentice's feelings".
Revan leaved the room

Aah, these pesky irregular verbs ! But it's "Revan left the room".

"she didn't left the room"

...And now it's the opposite, "she didn't leave the room".
Be careful with verb tenses, I've noticed a few more occurrences of that kind of mistakes. Don't sweat it, I only mentioned it because I thought you might want to correct it.

The mistakes I mentioned are not a big deal, just something you need to work on, but your writing is already pleasant to read. I like the structure of your sentences.

Regarding the story itself, nothing much to say - so far I like how it's headed. It's interesting that Aren Kae's idealism might have contributed to Revan's downfall, although our down-to-earth Kreia is obviously not helping much either.

I was surprised that you mentioned Kreia's blindness - is she already blind at that time ? I don't know much about the Kotor universe, beyond what was said in the games and comics, so I don't know if her being blind already is canon or not. I always thought she lost her sight when she joined the Sith, but that was just a guess.

Summary: A world, a galaxy, an universe unstable and shaking because of an eternal war. The Jedi against the Sith. The light side against the dark side. Is there a possible way out of this cursed circle? Master Arren Kae saw too much of her Jedi friends becoming what they swore to fight until the very end. Was there no other alternative? Isn't there a way for everyone to express different arguments and live in peace? Is there no hope for the Republic? For democracy? Her answer came right after meeting the young promising Padawan of Master Kreia. Revan.
Please watch this other side of the story. The story of Revan.

STAR WARS THE GENTLE BROKEN PROMISE

This place is bound to change.
Like the seasons.
Like people.
Either for the better or for the worse.
I knew that fully well.

But somewhere inside my heart, part of me wished...
That this moment would last forever.
That HE would stay as the hero of the Jedi order forever.

Yes...I am aware of this.
Even if I win this fight...

"You can't win Revan!"

I knew my heart had lost.
No matter what would happen...

Chapter 2: Hoping and dreading.

...

She remember clearly, almost as if it was yesterday. Her father's gentle eyes and heartbroken smile when she was leaving to become a Jedi.

Her mother wasn't even looking at her...She probably was happy to send her off. It didn't matter if she kept yelling or crying that she didn't want to leave.

She was leaving home...and she couldn't do anything about it. At that time, Bastila Shan was five.

It took quite some time, to understand...but soon enough she began to adjust to this odd life. As a Jedi apprentice. She missed her father greatly, to the point of crying to sleep.
Later, she tried not to think about it. And tried to focus on her Jedi training.

It was a lonely life...even though a Jedi is never alone. Bastila had a hard time to believe that.

She didn't had much friends. Her studies came in first place. She didn't had the time or wanted to talk with the other apprentices. She had to think about her training.

The masters wouldn't stop to pressure her : "You're destined to be a great Jedi." or "You must train your battle meditation some more." She felt lectured like a child even thought she was a teenager.

She was in the main hall, returning to her room. Jedi students were talking with each others.

Usually she wouldn't listen to what they have to say, but something caught her attention:

"Hey have you heard about it? 'He' has gained the title of Jedi Knight!"

"Really? ! That's incredible! So young yet he is already a Knight. As excepted from the Jedi order prodigy."

The 'he' in question, was Revan. The Jedi prodigy. Bastila smiled to herself and thought : "He did it finally! Soon me too..."

It wasn't a secret for anyone. Revan was a Jedi admired and liked by many in the Jedi order. Bastila was one of them...even if she would deny it completely if asked about it.

It happened a few years ago...

The masters and the students were talking about two excellent apprentices.

But one of the two was really impressive. That is how she learned about Revan.

She never met any of the two, but she was really curious since the students were almost always talking about them.

She was walking outside the Jedi enclave and saw a group of apprentices staring at something. She went over there to see what it was. Apparently it was a senior padawan, challenging others with a saber.

Eventually the 'spectators' were chattering between themselves :

"Wow, he defeated three padawans at the same time! One of them was taught by Master Vrook."

"Yeah, but since the masters aren't there, he likes to show off his skills on the weaker apprentices."

Bastila frowned. Showing off his skills on the weaker apprentices? ! How dare he? !

She was torn between deciding either to talk to the masters about it or teach that...person (There is no emotion, there is peace) a lesson of humility.

But at some point the senior padawan challenged another one :

"Hey you!" He pointed his saber toward a young man with long black hair. He seemed older than Bastila...at least five years older than her. He was reading something on his Datapad and kept doing as if he hear nothing. But the senior padawan was still talking to him:

"I've heard your skills are quite remarkable! And that you are taught by master Arren Kae and master Kreia."

The young man still wasn't looking at the senior padawan, kept reading and said : "And what if I am?"

"Isn't it obvious? I want to test myself against one of the finest Padawan of the Jedi order."

This time, the young man turned around and stared at the senior's face.

"How about it? Revan?"

As soon as his name was said, everyone soon began to be more interested.

"Look! It's the prodigy."
"Will he defeat him?"
"But he fought three padawans at the same time. Even for a prodigy, there is no way..."

Bastila, herself was really surprised, he was quite like the rumour described him : Tall, charismatic, long black hair, light brown eyes, handso-...

At the last thought, Bastila's face became red like an apple then she shook her head.

What am I thinking? !

While ignoring her last reaction, she tried to focus on what was happening now. She was more curious about how he would handle this situation.

"..." Revan stared at the senior padawan with indifferent eyes. Until he finally answer :

"I never run away from a challenge..but I do have something to ask you first."

The senior Padawan seemed annoyed by this but nodded anyway.

"You...What are you trying to accomplish with this?" asked Revan.

The senior padawan just grinned and told him : "What you ask? The title of Jedi knight of course! If I prove the masters that I'm ready for tests, surly they will grand me the title."

Revan just listened to his explanation with a cold stare.

"I'm sick of those easy, padawan missions. I deserve better! I'm better than most of them. And if I defeat you now, They'll grant it to me faster!"

He took a fighting pose and said : "No more talking anymore! Let's fight!"

The senior padawan ran at full speed toward Revan.

"Watch out!" said a youngling to Revan.

As he was going to attack him, Revan was already behind him and give a small hit with his saber on the senior's head.

"If it was a lightsaber you would be already dead." the senior's eyes widen, turned around to attack Revan : "Don't underestimate m-!"

A hit on the stomach, the senior was down.

After the second round, It was over after one minute.

Bastila was amazed by his speed and accuracy. He wasn't just hitting everywhere.

His strength and agility were incredible, it almost felt as if he was dancing in the midair.

He was an excellent swordsman.

"I...I'm not done yet..." The senior still wanted to fight but Revan interrupted him.

"Is that all you can think about? What do you think a Jedi really is?"

The senior was confused and asked : "What...what do you mean?"

Revan sighed and explained : "I know your reasons of wanting to become a Jedi Knight...Your parents expected a lot about your training. However that's not what a Jedi is."

"For what purpose is that strength of yours? Of what use will it be, if you keep hurting the ones you must protect with it?" Asked Revan with kind eyes.

The senior's eyes widen as he realized what he was doing.

Fighting for more strength, challenging people weaker for your own gain...those weren't the way of a Jedi.

Bastila's eyes softened at Revan's speech. Those were the words of a true Jedi.

Without noticing it himself, Revan had motivated many padawans with his speech.

It felt like he could convince anyone in a good way.

"What is going on here?" After finishing their meditations, Master Vrook and master Vandar came to see what was all those noises.

Revan turned around to face the two masters and smiled : " He has fall down while training, I think he trained himself too hard."

Bastila's eyes widen, he wasn't going to tell anything about it?

Master Vrook was septic but Master Vandar believed Revan's story.

He helped the Senior Padawan to get up and leaded him toward the infirmary to give him a medipac.

The only one remaining was Bastila.

He...He is more kind than I thought.

One week later, because of Revan's speech the senior padawan decided to help those who needed more help with their training. He was a complete new person.

"All this because of Revan." she thought to herself in her room on her bed.

That is how she began to admire him...however, as she grew up and as she kept watching his progression at a certain distance...Bastila felt like she was more attached to him than before.

She felt like she wanted more than just admire him...more than just looking at him at distance. Her eyes sadden as she bite her lower lips.

She wanted to talk with him, walking side by side, training together, studying together. Like his best friend Malak or Meetra Surik.