Blogging about life at a Benedictine monastery in St. Joseph, Minnesota

Thursday, January 5, 2017

A Christmas of Firsts

Benedictine
Women Service Corps (BWSC), an outreach of Saint Benedict’s Monastery, St.
Joseph, Minn., invites College of Saint Benedict alumnae to join the monastic
community in deepening relationships that support justice and service in a new
location. Volunteers strive to live out the Benedictine Gospel values that were
formed during their undergraduate education in a capacity that will challenge
them personally, spiritually and professionally.

This Christmas season was full of many firsts for me: first
Christmas away from my family. First Catholic Christmas. First Midnight Mass.
First priest passing out in the middle of Mass (he did say it was way past his
bedtime! Don’t worry, he checked out just fine!) First Christmas season that I
was not “allowed” to listen to Christmas music, nor did we have Christmas
decorations until Christmas. First Advent season that I have celebrated. First
“Advent Angel” instead of secret Santa (by the way, advent angel is much more
enjoyable!) and many more…

In all, Christmas in the monastery is something that can’t be
described, it must be experienced. There is no way to illustrate for others the
overwhelming sense of expectation, joy and hope that fills the monastery at
this special time. Many are scurrying around completing tasks that all add up
to a truly magical few days. Whether they are decorating, planning, cooking or
baking, everyone has a part in the magic. And when I say magic, you should have
seen my face when I saw what the chapel looked like after the few days of
decorating -- it was truly beautiful.

Others had tried to tell me just how great Christmas in the
monastery was, and I had believed them to an extent. I didn’t push off what
they told me, but the thought of not being with my family for Christmas always
lingered in the back of my mind. “I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my
dreams” became a truly bitter song.Not
until I fully experienced a monastery Christmas did I understand why it was so
important for me to spend Christmas in the monastery rather than with my
family. It’s more than just a holiday, it’s truly a celebration filled with
love and joy; one that can’t be explained and must be experienced firsthand.

The second half of my year of service, I will continue to
teach my grammar class for BEACON and this semester I began teaching a high
beginner class! I truly enjoyed teaching grammar and, of course, I thought teaching
a high beginner class would be very similar. Plot twist… it’s not similar at
all. I struggled with this quite a bit and after the first two days of
teaching, I truly considered quitting. I felt like a failure. My students
didn’t understand and we weren’t getting through lessons at all. I would find
these really great worksheets and supplemental activities to go with my
lessons, but understanding the basis of the lesson was the hardest part. So we
never got to my cool handouts. I chalked the whole experience up to me not
being qualified to teach individuals at that level and that I just wasn’t cut
out for teaching. Then I sat down for a bit, took a few days to think over what
had happened and hit the books. I wasn’t going to give up and I didn’t. I only had
one lesson before I left to go home for my visit, but it went great! More to
come as this endeavor continues.

As for BARN, I’m really enjoying the work I am doing. It’s
exhausting, both mentally and emotionally but it’s overall enjoyable and I’m
learning lots. Through my short time at BARN, I’ve realized that I don’t want
to work as a case manager when I’m all grown up. The system is flawed. Case
managers receive anywhere from 60-80 cases in their given field. I have one
case and that takes about 80% of my two days of work. Granted, I probably have
a higher standard of work for myself, but I understand why the level of care
deteriorates when you only have so much time and capacity, but all of these
individuals to manage and care for. It’s a system where you will never be
caught up and constantly just trying to keep your head above the water.

2016 brought many firsts for me and I’m excited to see what
2017 brings! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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This blog is maintained by a group of Sisters at Saint Benedict's Monastery in St. Joseph, Minnesota. We try to post weekly and often succeed at that.
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