APRIL FOOL’S: SNHU Online Partners with Trump University

This article is part of The Penmen Press’s annual April Fool’s edition. Even journalists need to have fun once in a while…

Southern New Hamp­shire University (SNHU) an­nounced on Apr. 1 that it will be partnering with Trump University to improve the reputation of SNHU’s online business program and to ex­pand course offerings. Starting with the summer term, SNHU online students will be able to take classes at Trump Univer­sity with no additional fee.

As a part of the contract, Donald Trump has agreed to be a guest speaker for every class. Trump is excited to work with SNHU students. “College students love me, and I love college students. They’re going to love me if they don’t already love me, but I know they all love me,” Trump said.

Trump has recorded a wel­come video specifically for SNHU students that can be found on the SNHU website. In his welcome video, Trump explains that he’s going to “make their education great again.”

SNHU’s online business students will now be able to take courses at Trump Univer­sity including Winning 101, International Business: How to Beat China, Advertising: A Study on Hitler’s Speeches, and Corporate Financing: How to Fail Yet Still Win.

SNHU place a statue in front of Tuckerman Hall to commemorate the union. Sources say that the replace­ment will look similar to the Washington Monument (Washington, D.C.).

The statue will tower over students without serving any real purpose. In honor of the partnership, SNHU will name the statue “Trump’s Tower.”

After visiting the campus, Trump suggested that SNHU build a wall around campus to keep the moose out and make the moose pay for it. SNHU re­jected his idea, saying that the students get along well with the moose, and they have nev­er caused a problem.

SNHU denied providing any support to Trump’s presi­dential campaign and declined to comment but said, “He’s a good businessman.”

Some students have ex­pressed concern over the part­nership. One student said, “What’s his specific plan for this partnership?”