Afro Ninja: Destiny

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All Rise...

Judge Dan Mancini was inspired by a not-so-popular YouTube video.

The Charge

"Power to the people."—Afro Ninja

The Case

Considering the numerous feature film adaptations of television shows, comic
books, video games, and toy lines coming out of Hollywood these days, is it any
wonder that someone would eventually get around to making a movie based on an
18-second YouTube video? I thought not. Afro Ninja: Destiny is
writer-director-actor Mark Hicks' low-grade feature-length expansion of his
low-grade slapstick vignette, which has attracted over six million hits on
YouTube (as of this writing). The movie tells the tale of sadsack postal worker
Reggie Washington (Mark Hicks, Body Shots),
who becomes a national joke/folk hero when video of his clumsy martial arts
battle against a gun-wielding, shell-shocked crackhead hits the internet and
late night talk shows. Soon after, an encounter with an aged Japanese woman and
a pair of glowing nunchucks endows the formerly flabby Washington with washboard
abs, a giant 'fro, and astounding fighting abilities. When local thug and
sneaker pimp Black Lightning (James Black, Love and a Bullet) shakes down
Washington's soul food restaurant-owning Aunt Mary (Marla Gibbs, The
Jeffersons), the Afro Ninja must spring into action to protect his
neighborhood.

Afro Ninja: Destiny is a bizarre little misfire. The original video
was a one-off slapstick gag good for a quick laugh mostly because you can't tell
at first whether it's real or was staged. Like the video, the feature's first
act is comedy but relies too little on slapstick and too much on poorly written
dialogue. Once Washington becomes the Afro Ninja, the comic bits become fewer
and farther between as Hicks attempts to forge an honest-to-goodness action
picture. Wearing his love for Jim Kelly in Enter the Dragon on his sleeve, Hicks
attempts to assemble an over-the-top parody/homage of martial arts and
blaxploitation flicks. (Kelly, by the way, makes a cameo appearance as the ghost
of Afro Ninja's father.) It's a noble effort, but the low-budget flick doesn't
achieve any of the textural or stylistic hallmarks of either genres. On the plus
side, Hicks—who has stunt credits considerably longer than his acting
credits—has the physique and martial arts skills to be a credible action
hero. His roundhouse kicks impress, and I liked how the fights were staged liked
real martial arts bouts, sans wire-fu and other stylistic excesses. Not
surprisingly, the fight choreography doesn't approach the epic scale of Enter
the Dragon or other Bruce Lee movies, and the cinematography isn't anywhere
near as interesting, but Hicks' naturalistic approach is cool (despite the
occasional comedy gag that falls flat due to poor shooting and editing). Afro
Ninja: Destiny is a barely competent misfire, but a misfire shot with
limited means and its heart in the right place, so I'm not inclined to savage it
or Hicks.

Despite its 1.78:1 anamorphically enhanced transfer, Afro Ninja:
Destiny looks atrocious on DVD. Colors are weak, detail is hazy, and the
image is consistently riddled with combing and interlace artifacts. The transfer
is about the quality of a YouTube video. Audio is presented in a cramped and
limited Dolby stereo mix.

Extras are fairly beefy considering Afro Ninja: Destiny is a
low-profile straight-to-DVD release. A Behind the Scenes section has eight
featurettes covering a variety of scenes from the film: "Outtakes and
Clips" (14:54), "Dog Attack" (5:04), "Anatomy of a Fight
Scene" (17:06), "Kata Workout" (1:39), "Explode Through
Window" (5:21), "Lightning's Camp and Office" (5:11), "Mark
Directs Jim Kelly" (4:09), "Fight Finale" (7:16). Honestly, I
enjoyed the collection of featurettes more than the feature itself—a lot
more. Hicks and his cast and crew come off as personable and dedicated, and the
vignettes provide a fascinating look at micro-budget filmmaking. The
documentaries even trump the feature in terms of video quality. In addition to
the behind the scenes material, there are also video interviews with eight of
the movie's cast members, including Hicks, Marla Gibbs, and Jim Kelly. Finally,
there are three deleted scenes.

Mark Hicks seems like a nice guy, but I can't lie. Afro Ninja:
Destiny is a bad movie. So bad, in fact, it's not even worth a rental.