Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Fall...Now With More F***ing!

As you might know from our previous blog post, fall is Joanna's favorite time of year. She loves it so much that she has this sign on her mantle...

...which was painstakingly made from a $3 kit from Target, a barbecue stick, and a printer. A few days ago, Jo was openly weeping over the fact that this is probably the last year she could have that sign up because Lilly will probably be able to read it next year. "WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO LEARN?" Joanna cried, salting her pumpkin spice latte with her tears. In an effort to console her, I joked that she'd only have to take it down for a few years, just until Lilly understands humor and possesses the self-control to not say the word from her mantle at school. "And when you bring it back, you can have a big ass marquis sign that says FUCKING FALL!" I said, wiping Joanna's tears with an infinity scarf. Joanna: "That is a brilliant idea except not for the future--for NOW." And with a crazy look in her eye, Joanna darted off to Hobby Lobby, leaving me in her living room with a look of confusion and a salty pumpkin spice latte.

A few hours later, I got a phone call from Joanna. She was lost in Hobby Lobby. Also she had spent $100 on supplies to make a Fucking Fall sign. Naturally, I craftgasmed and sang: "PROJECT!"

The next day, Joanna showed up with letters, a bundle of wood, glitter paints, gold leafing, fake berries, and root beer candy. We set to work. We started with fucking.

Then it was time for fall, which was way more complicated than fucking. First we had to drill holes into the wood to put lights through.

We were super proud of ourselves for being LADIES who HANDLED POWER TOOLS like BOSSES! Then it got more complicated so we gave up and got Chris to do it.

Then we painted the letters and tested it out. The first time we turned those lights on Joanna's face lit up like a Christmas tree that had been hit with a flame thrower.

The end product is AMAZING. No one will ever doubt Joanna's cult-like devotion to fall. AND we made "fucking" removable so fall can still be festive and the "fucking" will live on in our hearts. And in Joanna's closet until it's time to come back out.