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Saturday, July 12, 2008

Kibbles 'n Bits®

"A [22-year-old] man has been arrested…in connection with the theft of 129 rabbits from a farm, police have said. […] The [police] spokesman said information about the crime had been posted on websites linked to animal liberation activists.

"Despite the presence of a real guillotine at Eastern State Penitentiary, don't expect a serious exploration of the pivotal events of the French Revolution. […] [Sean Kelley, program director] at Eastern State Penitentiary…says that thousands are attracted to the event every year to take part in a modern interpretation of "Let them eat cake":

"You haven't lived until you've seen 2,000 Krimpets fly over the medieval battlements of Eastern State and pelt small children on the ground. It's fabulous!"

"The company that manufactured the iconic pink plastic flamingo lawn ornaments for close to 50 years filed for bankruptcy last week. […] Union Products president…said…the plastics industry has hit hard times because of the cost of electricity and resin, a petroleum-based product that is a key manufacturing ingredient."

"Product developers could just spend their time inventing the next best thing since sliced bread, but no, bless them. The world would be a very dull place if it wasn't for there being inventors out there with enough time on their hands to come up with something so stratospherically stupid as this, the USB Humping Dog."