Stewart, Colbert, and Letterman weigh in on Blagojevich

On Jan. 9, 2009, the Illinois House voted to impeach then-Gov. Rod Blagojevich for abuse of power. Just weeks later, on Jan. 29, the Senate followed with a 59-0 vote, removing Blagojevich from office. Lt. Gov. Patrick Quinn was sworn in as the state's 41st governor.

Tribune wire report

The Blagojevich scandal was an easy target for comedians Tuesday night, beginning with faux stumbling over the pronunciation of the governor's name.

Jon Stewart kicked off his show with a Blagojevich bit: "Take Illinois Gov. Rod Bla-go-ji-ja-vich.

"Well, clearly this man has nothing to hide except perhaps what is written on his forehead. My guess is it's something like 'bribe me.'"

Then Stewart called him a nasty name and rolled on.

"Holy eff-in bleep. Is this guy a governor or Lil Wayne? It took Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald over two years to pin down Scooter Libby for obstruction of justice, a sentence the president immediately commuted. ... It took him six weeks for [expletive] Blagojevich to hand the prosecutor this low-hanging fruit."

Then he played some of Fitzgerald's bleep-peppered news conference featuring the Blagojevich quote about Barack Obama's vacant Senate seat: "It's a bleeping valuable thing. You just don't give it away for nothing."

Stewart: "For God's sake, it's like hunting cows!

"I mean, can you make it any easier? Said the governor, quote, 'I would like to sell this Senate seat to the highest bidder, clearly violating U.S. Code Title 18, Part 1, Chapter 11, Section 208, paragraph A, solicitation of bribery.'

"Now obviously, we'll have complete coverage of Blagojevich tomorrow, including what I can only assume will be the filing of charges alleging beaver-pelt smuggling as well." He was referring to the governor's lustrous head of hair.

"It's one count of bribery, one count of fraud and one count of Blagojeviching." Letterman seemed to enjoy the word and repeated it several gleeful times during his opening monologue.

The Colbert Report opened with the title "Land of Stinkin' " and host Stephen Colbert went to work.

"Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich is arrested on corruption charges. It's gonna take a huge bribe to get him out of this one."

The evidence, Colbert said, "is highly suspect. All he was caught on tape was saying, 'I've got this thing, and it's effing golden. I'm just not giving it up for effing nothing.'

"He could have been talking about anything. He could have been pawning his wedding ring or selling golden retriever puppies out of his trunk, or you know what ... he was probably just holding Rue McClanahan for ransom.

"But if it is true, this is a disgrace ... a new low in dumb. Gov. Blagojevich, you knew you were under investigation and you used your own phone.''