If you ever have one of those days where you wake up and lament that you've given your life to something as banal as advertising, just watch "Singing Fish" and you will laugh -- because this industry is so completely insane.

Way to go, Arnold. Your efforts made us choke on a cherry tomato -- and we weren't even out of our "Don't-fuck-with-me" state yet. (Take it from us: there's nothing worse than nearly gagging to death after spending the morning mean-mugging everyone who could potentially save your life.)

Arnold says "Singing Fish" has generated about 50,000 YouTube hits since Friday. Still more surprising: in that handful of days it's already seized the imaginations of really bored suburban kids.

Check out how nonchalant the McD's staffer is though. McDonald's employees must just be used to being randomly serenaded.

In "Love Distance," two lovers nearly two billion millimeters apart race toward each other as a meter ticks off the amount of space left between them. Their ecstatic embrace results in emotional spikes between 0 mm and 316 mm.

The tagline ties it all together: "And yet, love needs distance." Sagami's thinnest condom does the job with the fewest millimeters of all: 0.02.

Trojan illustrates how nobody wants to get an STD with help from a girl who gets one for her 21st birthday -- and is pretty stoked about it, actually.

"No one wants to get an STD, but 1/3 of sexually active people do by age 25," a sobering textover says, at which point Birthday Girl screeches, "Wait 'til I show my mom!" and we shudder in quiet agony.

Everything about Viagra makes us laugh. We all know what it's for (and spam has ensured that we never forget!), but the ads are never really about doin' The Do -- they're always about love and intimacy, which in this jaded world is a lot like taking the sluggish scenic route to the same destination.

So, fingertips at the ready, we watched "Couple" with the full intention of taking the piss out of it. And get this: we couldn't. Because it moved us.

Tums manifests its antacid magic in "Angry Bear," where the aforementioned animal steals food, overeats and goes back in for one more score: the Tums.

There's something about the sight of a bear, far-off and out of decapitation range, that totally numbs us to its potential malevolence. It's like, "Aww, look at the bear eating all the pizza. Look at the bear breaking the watermelon. Look at the bear getting the Tums for its tummy."

You kind of want to curl up around it and fall asleep while it's lying against one of those gutted cars, nursing a food hangover.

To make kids act more energy-smart, the Department of Energy launched Lose Your Excuse, a painfully cute website* that encourages engagement and boasts a 10-step energy "action plan" to download.

Two quirky little ads drive traffic in its direction. Each features a kid getting caught in a lie about why s/he hasn't become more energy efficient. (I know that vibes like the Spanish Inquisition, but the execution is feel-good and funny).

Remember those Little Thickburger commercials from last year? Riffing off that, Hardee's launched an ad generator app so fans could create their own Thickburger comparisons.

The company expected maybe one or two to shine, but it turns out about 16 spots turned out to be broadcast-quality. (Though when you think about it, it's a pretty tough formula to screw up: [Big thing. Little thing.] Extra points for wordplay.) See them here.

"And we didn't even offer them a million dollars. Or anything for that matter," Hardee's added, puffing its chest out for extra effect.