Men’s Accessories 101: Avoid Looking Bland

Recently I sent you an e-mail asking two questions – are you happy with your appearance and if not, what are you struggling with the most.

One issue that was mentioned a lot was creating outfits that don’t look bland, that make you stand out in a sexy, yet socially savvy way.

And I guess that’s not that surprising considering that you could sum up typical guys’ outfit in three words: boring, safe, BLAND. Then is it really that surprising that women don’t go out of their way to compliment such outfits and, more often than not, don’t even notice the person wearing them?

So how do we add character to our outfits, one that has an aura of mystery, intrigue and excitement?

For this, we have three main tools at our disposal:

Accessorizing

Adding bolder colors and coordinating them stylishly within the outfit

Adding sexier pieces of clothing

This month we’ll cover the first two points – accessories and colors. How to identify which pieces of clothing are sexy (and will get complimented), on the other hand, is extremely difficult to put into words, so you’ll need to wait for the book (later this year) where I will go in depth with plenty of examples.

Though I must say that clients that I worked with personally picked it up very quickly from examples and now when they ask me “what do you think about this item?” or “which one should I pick, this or that?” they almost exclusive link to very sexy pieces of clothing – you guys rock!

That said,

This article is meant as a complete 101 on men’s accessories. From scarves to belts and watches and everything in between (with one exception, but I’ll explain that later.)

The Power Of a Sexy Accessory

This year, during Christmas my little sis bought me a scarf from Zara. Just like the one in the picture, just in charcoal (in red would be even more awesome, but I was told that every other color was sold out. I wouldn’t be surprised if next year this style becomes a trend.)

The first time I wore it and entered a bar, I was instantly greeted by the bartender with a not so subtle “Cool scarf! I had a huge scarf like too, loved it”, another woman standing near the bar took this opportunity to join the conversation “haha, yeah! Worn like a true hipster” (Ohhh… a neg, how sweet), followed by my “Oh yeah, I’m such a hopeless case…” – said with a huge grin.

The evening was up for a good start.

Later that night another woman walked up to me with “Hey, were did you get this scarf? It looks so great!”

That’s the power of a great accessory – not only they complete your outfits, but they also serve as conversation starters and when conversation is going women will often want to touch them, try them on, etc.

Few things to note here:

Sometimes the feedback you receive can be more subtle. Teasing is a great example of that, like the “hipster” comment in the bar, there was nothing malicious about the way it was said. Some women are simply too shy to openly comment on something you wear, especially if you look stunningly sexy – you’re intimidating. That’s perfectly fine. Though a smile and showing that you’re not taking yourself too seriously are great for making you more approachable.

Don’t be that guy, who obviously tries to show off his accessories – if you’re wearing something ridiculous just for the sake of getting attention and get comments, that’s needy and somewhat sad. Your accessories are part of the outfit and should go well with the rest of the look. Be subtle.

Not every piece of accessory is meant to be commented on, some accessories are there to accentuate other pieces of clothing or simply complete the outfit (often – belts). We’ll cover later in the article what different purposes accessories can serve.

What Makes An Accessory Great?

First, let’s talk about accessories that are made to grab attention.

For this, I’d like to share another quick exchange that happened last time I wore my key necklace to the bar (medium length, stainless steel necklace with a Key pendant).

After tipping the cute bartender for my beer, she followed with a “better tip that key you have hanging there” and a huge smile.

“Sorry, it’s from my chastity belt” – an answer I’m been using a lot.

“It’s a little too late for that now is it?” – that huge smile now turning to a flirty one.

So that’s the first indication of a sexy accessory – it helps you get to flirting fast. Note: think of touching as flirting without words.

A great accessory should have a story too – it doesn’t even need to be a real one. The truth is, I ordered that key necklace from aliexpress.com and it was made somewhere in China and in all honesty, it’s not even that well made. But because it gets commented so much, I made up the “it’s from my chastity belt” answer because it’s witty, has some sexual innuendos and shows that I don’t take myself too seriously – perfect for flirting.

A great attention grabbing accessory also draws attention to all the right place – I usually wear my key necklace with a tight scoop neck or buttoned shirt with extra button open. This way, it draws attention to my bare chest – sexy. And when the cute bartender comments on my necklace I know where she was checking me out.

When you’re wearing tight bright jeans, belts with interesting buckles can work as great attention drawing accessories because it leads her eyes straight to your crotch area.

The accessory itself should look interesting and cool.

I understand that “interesting” and “cool” are very subjective and will vary from group to group, so just like learning to identify sexy pieces of clothing – it will take time and experimentation for you to identify what works best.

Avoid nerdy designs – unless you’re into hipster women and like self-deprecating humor it’s probably not so great to wear comic-based, Star Wars or video game related accessories.

Avoid particularly busy designs – a cool accessory is slick and everything in its design is done for a reason and belongs there.

Avoid beat down accessories – there’s a difference between accessory that appears rugged and with a history and one that simply looks unmaintained and worn out.

Any accessory that is custom made or with an actual story (history) by default qualifies as interesting and cool.

What about accessories that are meant to supplement your outfit

A clean, black leather belt is probably the most common example of an accessory that is there not to grab attention or tell a story in itself, but to make the outfit complete. Without it, it seems something is lacking.

Wristbands, watches are also often used as supplementary accessories. For more complicated outfits, pocket squares can also do the deed.

A great supplementary accessory is one that helps the rest of the outfit shine. For example, when you match your belt with your shoes, not only it looks great overall, but it also makes the observer take a second look at your shoes.

That said, a supplementary accessory should look seamless, non-intrusive and slick. Any imperfections, irregularities will grab our attention and that’s not what we want to achieve.

There’s one type of supplementary accessories that should be mentioned separately – those meant to break the pattern.

If you’ve been a reader here long enough, you probably noticed that quite often in Style Inspirations I use the term “break the pattern.” So I’d like to take the time now and explain.

When coordinating colors in a look, especially matching different items, it’s easy to get overzealous and create a look that seems “too perfect”, unbelievable and somewhat unnatural – like a costume.

In such situations we purposefully introduce a piece of clothing (usually an accessory) that doesn’t go with the rest of the look (different color / pattern). Usually we don’t want this item to stand out too much or become our attention grabbing piece, so we use a neutral color.

Bracelet (the whole set) – attention grabbing. Context is important here, it is attention grabbing because the outfit was meant for work (semi-formal) environment but if you wore in a music festival you would likely need something more interesting and cool to stand out.

Belt – supplementary. The color matching helps emphasize both – the boots and the bracelet.

I would like to note that accessories are only meaningful within the context of the rest of the outfit. An accessory that is attention grabbing in one look, can be supplementary in another; an accessory that looks stunning in one outfit, can look awkward and out of place in another.

Alright, are you starting to get the picture? :)

Now, time to get specific. We’ll go head-to-toes.

Necklaces

Old as fashion itself, a necklace is a universal accessory popular throughout history on both men and women. The part that separates necklaces from other accessories is the importance of symbolism. In the past that’s how you would show off your hunting and war trophies, keep your lucky charms. Even today, dog tags are still worn among military personnel for their utility (conveying basic information about the person wearing it) and symbolism.

With that in mind, if you want to wear a necklace with your outfits and have this option, I would highly recommend finding one that has emotional meaning to you – it will be worth the effort.

From the pragmatic point of view, most of the time you’ll be wearing necklaces with edgier, masculine outfits. Though in some cases they can work with more elegant outfits too, when you want to add contrast to your look.

The truth is, almost exclusively you’ll be choosing between leather (brown or black) and metal (usually stainless steel). The difference is rather subtle, especially when the chain is thin. As a rule of thumb – metal based necklaces will add edginess to the look and leather ones – a masculine touch. Quick tip: leather based necklaces don’t really work if they are the only leather item in your look.

Length

Longer chain: best when there are more than one layer, also with deep cuts (deep V-necks, buttoned shirts with multiple open buttons, etc.) In other words when the pendant is visible without looking like you’re trying to show it off. Not that great for shorter guys.

Shorter chain: always visible, tight, close to the neck and for this reason very sexual. In turn, looks best with simple, raw outfits.

Pendant

By far the most important part of any necklace and yet, I can’t say exactly what you should or shouldn’t pick. As mentioned previously, I would avoid clichés like dog tags (unless you’re actually in the military), tooth pendants, geeky ones, etc.

Ideally, you want one that either has some personal meaning to you or thematically goes well with a look (a bit harder to pull off). For example, with a super-edgy look like the one below a necklace that has either a rose or a skull as a pendant would look fantastic!

As for meaning, the original idea why I wanted a Key necklace for myself was that I wanted to find a small lockable chest where I would put kinkier stuff for bed play and then wear the key from that chest on my neck – how’s that for a sexy backstory? :)

Unfortunately, at the time the logistics of having something like that made where out of my scope, so I ordered a simple key necklace from aliexpress.com to test if a necklace like would get commented / complimented in the first place (it sure does!). You know, while I find a way get the real deal.

By the way, if anyone crafty with metals and wood are reading this and would be willing to take on a project like this – I’d be glad to offer a full personal style consultation and lifetime membership in our Inner Circle in return – actually, that would make the story even cooler!

What about bare chains, you know, without any pendants.

In that case I would ask why are you wearing it in the first place? A chain like that (usually in silver or gold) becomes purely a show off item and 9 out of 10 times, you’d be better off wearing nothing rather than just a chain.

Scarves

I’ve said it multiple times and I’ll say it again – scarves are freaking awesome! Probably the best accessory when it comes to meeting women. Seriously, no other accessory gets so many “can I touch it?”, “cool scarf (while touching it)”, “can I try it on?” and so on.

And yet, its primary function is utility – keeping your neck and chest warm during colder weather. This gives scarves a sort of plausible deniability – I’m not wearing it as a sexy style element, but to keep my neck warm (who cares that we’re inside a bar or club and its hot as it is haha)

It’s also a feminine accessory and I think that’s one of the best parts about it. The thing is, most guys have an aversion to wearing clothes that are slightly feminine (other popular examples are Chelsea boots and tight, slightly elastic skinny jeans), which means that those of us, who don’t have unconscious hang ups about our sexuality have an advantage and wearing a scarf in bars and clubs becomes a sort of secret symbol that helps women distinguish between sexual guys (who can and will fuck them right) and chumps (who would judge them for being sexual.)

And indeed, from practice I noticed that if a guy is wearing a stylish scarf in a bar, where “staying warm” is not exactly and issue, he’s almost always a natural or an advanced player (exceptions, of course, happen.)

I’d say if there’s ever a day when average guys start wearing scarves in bars, I’ll retract my statement about how awesome they are and will need to start looking for the next distinguishing element to wear.

All in all, a scarf is very universal and can be pulled off with both edgier and classier looks.

By far the most important choice you’ll be making when it comes to picking a scarf.

As an accessory, scarf can work either as the attention grabbing item, in which case you’ll want to pick it in color or pattern that stands out (1st and 2nd example) or it can be the supplementary accessory, in which case you will want to match it with another piece of clothing in your outfit (3rd example)

Fabric

When it comes to material, most scarves will fall under one of the three categories:

Wool

Linen

Polyester

And various blends of these fabrics. Wool, quite obviously, will keep you the warmest and that’s what you want and should wear during winters and colder days in general. Due to its volume and ability to keep you warm not ideal for being worn indoors.

Linen and polyester will usually be much thinner and lighter which makes them perfect during warmer days and they are perfectly suitable to be worn indoors too.

Weight & length (volume)

Scarf’s weight and length often directly correlates with the fabric it’s made from. That said, not every design is suitable for everyone. If you’re a shorter guy, avoid really long and thick scarves – they will make your upper body look non-existent. Stick with shorter, lighter scarves.

On the other hand, if you’re somewhere close to 6 ft. or taller and big scarf can look very impressive (and add volume to your shoulders, which is awesome if you still haven’t paid your dues in the gym.)

How to wear a scarf

Few tips:

How you wear one mostly depend on the outerwear you’re wearing (for example if you need to button up/zip up fully to your neck you’ll probably be wearing a scarf on top and over the shoulder (yellow & black example)) and how thin or thick the scarf is.

Indoors you’ll almost exclusively be wearing your scarf like in the second (brown scarf) picture.

Ties & Bowties

When we talk about ties we need to distinguish between wearing one with formal and semi-formal outfits, when your goal is to appear professional, classy and when you’re wearing one to a bar, club or on a date with a more casual outfit.

Now, I’d say the only time when a tie is the optimal neck accessory is when we want to make our look classier, more elegant. In every other case a scarf serves the same purpose but does it better.

When it comes to picking color and/or pattern for our tie we’re in a very similar situation as with picking a scarf – it can work either as the attention grabbing piece or a supplementary one.

However, considering that a typical guy, who’s wearing a tie with a casual look will pick one that’s more attention grabbing (including black when worn with white buttoned shirt), I would recommend going the other way (good rule of thumb: do the opposite of what majority is doing) and use a tie as a supplementary accessory that helps the rest of the look shine, instead of drawing all the focus to itself.

Width

Even though both slim and wider cut ties have their places, when we’re talking about dressing sexy we will almost exclusively pick slimmer ties.

Note: by default, if you’re a skinny and/or shorter guy, wide ties are not on the menu for you.

What about Bowties

Stylish, yes, but not in a sexy way – the qualities conveyed are almost the opposite of what we want to achieve. Technically it is possible to pull them off in an attractive way outside formal events, but even when you do, the benefits will not be worth the effort.

Pocket Squares

Pocket squares seem to be making a comeback in popularity last several years. Exclusive for classier, elegant looks this style of accessory should only be worn with blazers and suits.

Still, despite growing popularity its very easy to come off as try-hard when wearing a pocket square with your look, so I would only recommend it for classy guys, going for classy and stylish looks.

When choosing a pocket square, these are the main factors to consider:

Color & pattern

Design

Color & pattern

Even though it is possible to use a pocket square as the attention grabbing item, in which case you would want it in a color that goes well with the rest of the look but not necessarily is matched with any other item, more often than not you’ll want to use your pocket square as a complimentary item and match it with another item in your outfit – usually a tie or your shirt.

Design

By “design” I don’t actually mean design, but folding – there are multiple ways to fold a pocket square and in turn get different effects. But you know what, Antonio from Real Men Real Style has already prepared a brilliant inforgraphic that explains everything you need to know in that regard – check it out!

Wristbands and Bracelets

When wristbands and bracelets are mentioned many of us instantly imagine iconic Johnny Depp’s style. But hand accessories are not just for the artistic types (or those who want to look artistic.)

A well picked bracelet can help the whole outfit come together. A bolder color or flashier design can also serve as a great attention grabbing piece, because it naturally draws focus to your hand and there’s a lot of power in directing someone’s focus directly with your hand.

A wristband, on the other hand, is a superb accessory for those who want to achieve that badass, edgy look. It also helps make your forearms look more masculine, which can be an issue for skinnier guys (just make sure your wristband fits tightly and is not moving freely up & down your wrist.)

Wristbands look best with masculine and edgy outfits. Bracelets, even though look great with such outfits too, can also be used with more elegant looks as an alternative to a watch, when we want to keep our look casual.

Word of caution – unless you’re going for a specific look, careful with overdoing it – I know it is tempting when Johnny is pulling off that look so perfectly, but it is actually easy to crash & burn. If in doubt, add accessories one by one and notice the feedback.

As a rule of thumb – thinner, slick bracelets are more universal and can be pulled off with a variety of looks. Thicker wristbands, on the other hand, are limited to edgy and/or masculine outfits.

This is true despite the material, for example, a rope bracelet that covers a sizeable portion of your forearm should not be worn with an otherwise classy outfit.

Color

Most often you will want to match your bracelets with other items in your outfit (belt, shoes, etc.) as it’s a great accessory to complete look.

That said, bracelets can also be used (and are great at it!) as attention grabbing items or a piece that breaks the pattern.

Material & Design

When it comes to material, you have quite a few options:

Stainless steel

Leather

Beads

Rope

But the truth is, the design matters more than the material. In general, I prefer slick bracelets over chunkier items with unnecessary details, because you can always achieve that artistic look by stacking several slick bracelets on one hand. Few tips:

Looks best when matched (to a certain extent) with something else in an outfit, for example boots, belt.

Thinner bracelets can be worn with most looks, even those that can be considered somewhat classy.

Feel free to wear multiple accessories on each hand. However, if you have only two similar accessories better wear them both on one arm and not one on each hand.

Watches

A watch in many ways is as manly of an accessory as it gets. So what I’m about to say might not sit well with everyone – watches are there to impress other men, not women. Because it’s such a masculine piece, they are not exactly sexy either.

And hey, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to impress other men, if you make a better impression in a business lunch or job interview because of the watch you’re wearing – awesome! We just need to accept that it’s less than ideal accessory for looking attractive.

Still, even when it comes to sexy styles, some outfits would never be complete without one.

The main contenders here are stainless steel and leather. Both can be awesome in certain situations. As a rule of thumb – you’ll want stainless steel with more masculine looks and leather for classier ones.

One thing to consider – with stainless steel, as long as it’s not popping too much, you don’t need to match it with other accessories. With leather that’s something you need to keep in mind (see below.)

Note: as a rule of thumb – avoid rubber.

Design

As for design, we won’t be talking about movement or crystal. For us, all that matters where it stand in the “slick – chunky” spectrum. Chunky, big head watches naturally draw attention (too much I would say) when worn with otherwise tight outfits, so a watch like this would look better with outfits that already have thick fabrics and multiple layers.

A slick watch, on the other hand, would look non-existent with an outfit like that and it’s best suited with more elegant looks.

Color

When it comes to color, it’s very much the same as with bracelets (see above.)

But what about quality, brand, origin, analog/digital?

It’s somewhat interesting, but when men talk about watches it sounds quite similar to when they talk about cars:

“So, how much did it cost?”, “Cool! What mechanism it has?”, “Right, right, so the parts are from Germany but its collected in Switzerland? Cool!”

And I’ll be the first to admit, just like with cars, I am more or less clueless when it comes to the quality of watches. Still, I can tell you from experience, when it comes to looking sexy it really doesn’t matter how good your watch is as long as it looks great and goes well with the look.

Rings

Just like a necklace, a ring is an accessory with a glorious history and for the longest while it symbolized status and even wealth. These days, however, rings are mostly worn by guys, who want to look edgy, badass.

And indeed, that’s pretty much their only use right now as wearing one as a status symbol would look awkward and cheesy in most situations.

Still, even considering how unpopular rings are lately, I would still say it’s an overrated accessory even for edgy looks. Very impractical too – tends to get in the way in the most interesting moments, like when you’re shoving your hand in her pant(ie)s or gets in her hair while you’re holding her by the back of her head. Honestly, having your fingers unencumbered is just too practical to miss out.

That said, ring can be a really cool accessory.

(Realized that I don’t have Style Inspirations that would feature rings – I’ll guess I need to create a special Style Inspiration: Bad to The Bone, with edgy outfits that include rings.)

For now,

Here’s a few sexy rings that would get you compliments / comments (check Asos.com)

Belts

Even though belts haven’t been worn for their utility for a long while now – keeping pants around your waist (if your pants are falling without a belt they are revisit the fit guide at once!), it is still by far the most popular man’s accessory.

There are two main ways to wear a belt:

Match it with other items (accessories, boots, jacket). Great for adding a touch of “I know what I’m doing” to an otherwise rugged outfit.

As something that breaks the outfit, adds contrast and stands out. Best with otherwise mostly monochromatic outfits.

There are really not that many options you need to consider. Most of the time you’ll be choosing between black or brown color and rugged or clean design. Your decision should depend solely on the rest of the outfit.

There’s one more choice that some of you will occasionally encounter – white belts. It’s something that you can wear with youthful, hips outfits (party attire), but that’s about it.

Buckle

Standard clean, stainless steel buckle is always a great approach and if in doubt – that’s your best bet. Still, if you want your belt to act a focus grabbing piece, something more interesting might be in order. In that case treat your belt buckle like you would treat necklace’s pendant – cool and interesting wins the race (see section on necklaces.)

When not to wear one

Due to the popularity of belts, not wearing one can be a stylish detail in itself. This can be great option when you’re going for a classy – elegant look that already has quite a few accessories.

Belt chains

Probably the least popular accessory on our 101 and one of the most underrated too. A belt chain is a very niche accessory that looks great exclusively with edgier, mostly rocker outfits (or outfits that we want to make edgier.)

It’s particularly great, when layering is not an optimal approach (due to warm weather or because you have a great physique and don’t want to hide it), but we still want to show our badass side.

By design, it’s not a flashy accessory but one that helps complete our bad boy look.

With that in mind, we should always mind how many other accessories we are wearing:

Belt chain should almost never be your only accessory.

At the same time, if you’re already rocking several bracelets, belt with a cool buckle, necklace (you know, full rock star gear) and a pair of badass boots. Adding belt chain to the equation might look like overdoing it.

Note: finding a good looking belt chain can be a real hassle and more often than not you’ll just need to order it online hoping that it looks at least somewhat similar to how it’s displayed in the photo.

Finishing Thoughts

And that’s about it for our Men’s Accessories 101 – I hope by now you have plenty of ideas how to upgrade your bland look. If you need help, check out our personal style consultation page (still have couple of spots available for January.)

You also probably noticed that we didn’t cover sunglasses – we’ll have a separate guide for those in spring. While its still winter enjoy every ray of sunshine you are able to catch.

I’d like to finish by reminding you that accessories are meant to add depth to our look, add character in a seemingly effortless way. Do this and you’ll look intriguing, mysterious and charismatic.

Do this right, and getting compliments from beautiful women on your appearance will become as mundane (and very pleasurable) as getting your first cup of coffee in the morning.

Question – would you like an article that covers how to receive compliments, how to respond?