New Beginnings Emerging from the Mud

The lotus flower of our life experience begins to bloom from the seeming depths and dregs. Here, now, is where I begin. So much has taken place in 2014 that my head and heart and body and soul reel externally.

And yet, internally, something – many things – have changed forever. There is a knowing, a peace, a stillness, that warms my heart and fills my being with love and light. This influx is self-allowed. The presence of simple being is the only reality and to access this place one only needs to give permission.

This is the trick that has been hidden from man for centuries. It is each human’s sovereign right to be whole, at peace and full of love. This knowing is the foundation for all else. Last week, I participated in my first practice of Yoga Nidra in conjunction with the sounding of the 5 Tibetan seed syllables. The Yoga Nidra facilitator, Michelle, used the words “inner refuge” as she moved us through awareness of focus on all areas of the body. Inner refuge. Inner refuge. Inner refuge. This is another truth that has been left out of most teachings.

What is this inner refuge? This is who we are, who we always have been and who we will always be. Inside our being, inside our heart is a knowing, a peace that surpasseth all understanding of our trained indoctrination to focus solely on the external – especially for solace and love. Ahhh, the love and solace originates within our own being. The power, strength and courage to be is self-generated.

I have always wanted to feel safe and protected. Now, this day of 24 November 2014, I know with certainty that I am and always will be safe and protected for that is my reality. There is no thing else. We were trained to live, work and play in a web of illusion…a world that was never real or complete…a world external cut off from Nature, and more damaging, cut off from self. We had to be someone else to win or receive approval and acceptance it seemed. There are a few who held on to their native ability to feel good on their own. However, I, like most, was driven to receive peace from approval and acknowledgement from others or society.

Empty and anxious, I was hypnotized into struggle and fear. There can never be peace if you are trying to force life or yourself into being something that you are not. It has taken more than a year for me to halt the artifice, halt the addiction of wanting to fit in and be accepted. Hopefully, for others, the disentangling from illusion will be much swifter. Almost all, well really all, that I was taught and accepted as truth from society was illusion – weaving a web of an artificial life that needed constant attention (to include fear and anxiety) to unsatisfactorily sustain. It is not and will never be possible to create an artificial life based on illusions of the mind. It has taken this time more than a year to reconnect to being, the simplicity of connecting to my life force and Nature.

Go within and explore who you are. Go within and activate love for yourself – your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual aspects. Go within and balance light and shadow. Go within and embrace all that you are. Know that you are as whole and perfect as you were when you took your first breath – healthy, pure and powerful. Connect from this space to the earth, to Nature, to the majesty of life all around you. This is life. This is real.

All else is illusion. If there is fear, a need to force; if there is anxiety or confusion, be patient and still for a moment. Go within, connect with love and peace. Then look again. Feel again. There is only love and peace. We have been trained to create illusion in lieu of connecting with our strengths, our powers and connecting with all life on this Earth. All is as it should be.

Not sure where I am or what I am moving toward. Me, the I am inside my physical vessel, is connected to the highest and best in the Universe and at peace with all that is. I am so grateful for this life. I trust myself and the Divine guidance and I surrender to the highest and best in this moment and all that is. I am grateful for all that is and send blessings out from my inner refuge. These blessings are seeds that add to the beauty of life for all beings on this beautiful blue green planet.