Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015

In approximately 13 hours we will be saying goodbye to 2015 and
welcoming in 2016. Truth be told, I am no sadder to see 2015 leave then I
was for all the years before. Yes, it has been a year filled with the
most shedding of tears, but it has also been a year filled with laughter, joy,
and hope. It was the year our oldest daughter turned five, entered
Kindergarten, and lost her first tooth. It was the year that my mother
lived to celebrate her 60th birthday (which is a huge accomplishment for a
woman in our family). It was the year my sister, her husband, and my adorable
nephew moved only four houses down from us. It was the year our son
turned four, began ice-skating, and started to lose his baby face. It was
the year our middle daughter turned two and shared her amazingly cute
personality with so many people. It was also the same year where the best
and worst came together in one tiny 6lb 6oz package just 2 weeks shy of her due
date.

2015 was a year of learning. It was
the year I learned about a rare genetic condition, CDKL5, a condition that
impacts approximately 1200 identified people in theworld. A condition that has now consumed more of my
life than I could ever imagine five characters tied together could do, more
than I would like. It was the year I learned that I am emotionally,
physically, and mentally stronger than I would have ever given myself credit
for. It was the year I learned that sometimes bad things happen simply
"just because". It was also the year I realized that even the
most well versed medical professionals do not have all the answers.

2015 was a year I was challenged in every
possible way imaginable. I faced hurdles I never could have fathomed I
would be faced with, ever, during my lifetime. I have been placed into
situations no parent should ever have to endure. I have been asked questions
that have no answers. I have had to make choices that again, no parent
should ever have to. These challenges continue to mold me into a
different person. These challenges have given me new perspectives, new
direction, and new strength. I continue
to learn more about myself with each new challenge that I face.

2015 has been a year of change. Our
family of six will not ever be the same. We will not ever just be a
typical family of six. 2015 has forever changed our title to one of,
"a family with special needs". While we say goodbye to 2015, it
will be a year we will not ever forget. It will be the year that forever
changed me, changed Sam's and my parenting, and change us as a familial unit.
For that, I am thankful. 2015, just like 2013 and 2014, has been
another year of preparation for the years ahead. Just as we were
blissfully unaware of what was in store for us in 2015, we will have many years
to come that will be filled with the same uncertainty and unknown obstacles.
We will welcome 2016 unbroken, un-phased, and ready for whatever battles
lay ahead.