Day 5: A song that reminds you of someone

“He wakes up in the morning.
Does his teeth, bite to eat and he’s rolling
Never changes a thing.
The week ends, the week begins.

She thinks, we look at each other
Wondering what the other is thinking,
But we never say a thing.
And these crimes between us grow deeper.”

When I was a senior in high school, something felt a bit different in the music that was suddenly available. It seems like before that year, you listened to country music, you listened to pop radio (including things like Madonna and Nelson) or you maybe listened to things like Poison. R.E.M. was my favorite band, I was hugely happy when “Losing My Religion,” got them some hits and brought them into the mainstream. But senior year, one classmate recommended Live to me, it seemed like MTV was playing more types of music, and Justin E. made me a tape of the album _Under the Table and Dreaming_. When he gave it to me, he said, “I put them in a different order than how they came, but this is they way I think it should be.”

I remember junior year, grunge came in. This was 1994, late for the rest of the nation. I started wearing my grandpa’s worn out flannel shirts (much to my grandma’s chagrin.) After I went to college at University of Illinois, I heard Dave Matthews all the time. Eventually, a roommate had a CD of _Under the Table and Dreaming_ and I discovered that I also preferred Justin’s ordering of the songs.

“Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time.
Lights down, you up and die.”

I love this verse of “Ants Marching.” I love how high his voice goes. I can sing along with him, but when he drops down (too low for me), I have to make up a harmony. It sounds pretty, but looking at the words now, I see that they’re sad.

“Goes to visit his mommy
She feeds him well, his concerns
He forgets them.
And remembers being small
Playing under the table and dreaming…

Take these chances
Place them in a box until a quieter time
Lights down, you up and die.”

In my high school, you didn’t have to eat on campus for lunch. Before you or close friends had a car, you’d walk across the square to the Dairy Queen. Or, you’d walk up to C&K (video) and buy candy and chips. With a car, though, you’d have time to go to the Huck’s for chicken or tater logs, or maybe the other gas station. And I think Huck’s eventually had pizza and sub sandwiches? I can remember being in the back seat of someone’s car at lunch, this song on the tape player, singing along, the same harmony I sing now, with the wind coming in through the open windows, and feeling so young, so strong and beautiful and possible.

“Driving along this highway
All these cars and up on the sidewalk
People in every direction
No words exchanged,
No time to exchange when
All the little ants are marching.
Red and black antennae waving.
They all do it the same
They all do it the same way,
Candyman tempting the thoughts of a
Sweet tooth tortured by weight loss programs
cutting the corners, there’s a
Loose end, loose end, cut cut
On the fence, try not to offend.
Cut cut, cut cut.”

Justin was a big fan of the Raiders and Dave Letterman. I had a serious crush on him in junior high. I wonder where he first heard Dave Matthews Band. Maybe on Dave Letterman? I’ll bet I could still re-order the playlist on this album; that’s how many times I listened to the tape.

PS: Just having seen the video again, I see that it’s shot in NYC. That’s kind of strange; I don’t think 1995 me imagined I would ever even visit here..

View inside our old accounting classroom.

Part 2:

Janet had cable TV, and for some reason I didn’t. At least not then– I can remember times when my parents did. R.E.M. had just released _Monster_; again, this is a 1995 song. MTV was making a big deal about when they debuted videos from the album. When the video for “Bang and Blame” came on for the first time in North America, Janet was watching, on the phone with me. She described every moment.

“If you could see yourself now, baby
It’s not my fault
You used to be so in control
You’re going to roll right over this one
Just roll me over, let me go
You’re laying blame
Take this as no, no, no

Here is my memory of Janet describing those first few moments of the video: “Okay, so it’s black and white. There’s a microphone. Michael Stipe is walking up to the microphone. He’s wearing a striped shirt. He’s… um, he’s hitting the microphone. He looks angry. Um… they’re in an empty house, camera going from room to room. No one’s there. A bedroom, unmade bed. Oh, a dog. Back to Michael, hitting the microphone, waving his arms around. He’s walking away. He’s coming back.”

I had a _massive_ crush on Michael Stipe. I thought he was the hottest thing ever. I was dying to see this video, to see what he was wearing, how he was dancing, to see the story to go along with the song. Janet talked throughout the video, trying to tell me every single detail.

It’s not a hugely great song. It goes well with the entire album; I know all the words, I like singing along to it, I like the video. I don’t think it would ever make it on a top twenty list of favorite songs, though. Whenever I hear it, though, I immediately visualize the start of the video, and remember that there was a time in my life when I spent hours each day on the phone with Janet.

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One Response

i’ve been listening to DMB all night thanks to this. there are many songs with them that inevitably lead me to different people. it’s funny that “ants marching” struck you in high school–i loved it back then, too, but i don’t think i knew what it meant (you know me–i don’t pay any attention to lyrics). it’s good to return to it.