an eyes wide open approach

August 2008 Risque | What’s New

… With appropriate credit to Garth:

Back when the Old Stuff was New Stuff

8/30/08

Oops. You’ve undoubtedly read somewhere about the importance of being a good example for your children, indeed for anyone around you as a practical matter. You know, “You lead much better by example than you ever will by direction” and all that. (For now let’s just forget about that whole Machiavellian philosophy and Sun Tzu, Art of War things. They’re overrated anyway.) … Well, somewhere along the line our buddy Maverick determined that our particular brand of humor must constitute the “proper” way of all web presentation. Consequently if you decide to foray further today, you’ll likely see some, um, video creation that firmly demonstrates our failure as exemplary figures. Of course Mav now thinks that every American uses “y’all” as a part of their normal conversation and all of us have alarm clocks that play “Titties ‘n’ Beer” every morning. He probably has deeper issues than some potentially cheesy artistic expression if you want to know the truth. We said, “Oops,” right? [FEATURED TAGS: 247AdultStars.com, Sandie Caine, Exclusive Video]

8/29/08

Oh, D.Minion was floating in the excited clouds today. She’s learning video editing — because creative people always get bored, basically — and she decided to start with a video scene from Essentially Juli between Taren Steele and Juli Ashton. Yeah, well …
…So we had to substitute a scene featuring Taren Steele and Shayla LaVeaux (albeit on their own, so to speak) from Screen Play (not available anymore). Still if you have to pull a substitute off the bench, it’s good if you have Shayla in reserve. Everyone should. [FEATURED TAGS: Shayla LaVeaux Video, Taren Steele Video, Veronica Hart Video, Exclusive Video, D.Minion]

8/24/08

All good things come to an end, at least that’s what people who are trying to rationalize their condition after realizing that they won’t be able to enjoy something that has been really fun try to think. For us, having the Olympics on pretty much all the time in the office has been a splendid way to add a little mix to the mesh. We will miss it for the next couple of years, but we have learned about a whole lot of countries we’d never even heard of, so that’s a bonus. Also for us, assisting Maverick with his redesign has come to an end as well — which goes to show that even not necessarily all that good things come to an end too. Whew. Now we’re able to go back to the more fun adventures, this time involving our much more traditional entertainment in Kristal Summers and Dee. Everyone should have closets full of things like we do. It would make everyone a lot happier, and that whole “come to an end” part would be a very long way off. That’s always nice. [FEATURED TAGS: Kristal Summers Video, Dee Video, Exclusive Video]

8/22/08

Maverick laughed at our gentle jibes yesterday, consequently we’ve decided to run his Day Two experiences from Erotica LA this year, just to demonstrate his substantially more typically human side. Nice job on the tour, Mav. You’re still a lot more Nerd than Geek when it comes to actually dealing with the beautiful women. We’re here to keep you humble. After all, if you’re friends can’t remind you of all your funny mistakes in life, what good are they? [FEATURED TAGS: 247AdultStars.com, Erotica LA, Jessica Drake, Briana Banks, Daisy Marie, Erika Heaven, Teagan Presley, Natasha Nice, Lexi Love, Sunny Lane]

8/21/08

Those of us that work on the web regularly find ourselves in a peculiar form of Geekdom (for lack of a better term). Any time you’re faced with a basically endless potential for variable interpretation it can be daunting to even attempt any sort of “mastery” in your approach. True to our optimistic nature, however, we’ve learned an important secret to remember if ever you find yourself faced with any sort of depressing reality: Some people have altogether too much free time. … Enter Maverick. He’s redone his 247AdultStars.com tour, and it seems to us that he’s really just showing off. Granted he had a lot of help from us, so we don’t really mind giving our insights here. Besides, that young man owes us many, many beers. [FEATURED TAGS: 247AdultStars.com]

8/20/08

We’ve all heard that “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” …
Uh-Huh. It must be in the Mom Handbook that this constitutes the appropriate response to a crying child’s complaint about being “copied” by someone. … We’ve all also learned that this sentiment doesn’t really help us feel better at all. In porn star terms, then, we’re strolling down a little “Lane” of intimate observation today. Or is that “Lain” ? [FEATURED TAGS: Julia Ann, Devinn Lane, Tory Lane Video, Exclusive Video, Risque News Insight]

8/15/08

It seems like our invitation to the big premiere party for “The Four” must have gotten lost in the mail. Dang. Consequently we decided rather to spend our entertainment dollars on Rodney Carrington, who happened to be in town. We figured out why Mr. Carrington enjoys our site (at least as much as we’re sure he would if he actually knew who we are, naturally). Early in his act he relates a story about going to church that certainly sounds like us. “My heart’s in the right place,” he says, “It’s just my mind that wanders off into the gutter.” …
Now this really has nothing whatsoever to do with D.Minion’s coverage of Angel Cassidy Exposed, but it was funny. And if you know us at all, you know that this pretty much covers the minimum threshold requirements for us to talk about it. If you aim low in life, you’re rarely disappointed. Feel free to quote us. [FEATURED TAGS: Angel Cassidy, Michael Ninn, D.Minion]

8/12/08

We can’t help it. International sports has been a common topic of conversation around the office this week, and so we got to wondering. Don’t you think they could draw in a lot more consistent interest in gymnastics if they just took that little 4” beam and raised it up about 30 feet into the air? You could at least pull in the NASCAR and Ultimate Fighting Fans, and they drink beer. Somebody should tell Budweiser. …Well, it was just a thought. And as it turns out, a rather adventurous woman had a thought of a slightly different kind as she showed up during one of Dee’s KSEX shows and proceeded to —
well, let’s call it try to make her team. While Dee was busy being au naturel, D.Minion was naturally providing visual documentation of the event. No word from the judges yet, but you members let us know. [FEATURED TAGS: KSEX Radio, Dee, D.Minion]

8/11/08

Oh, good grief! We turned on the Olympics each of the past two weekend mornings, and can you guess what NBC was showing? Yep. Rowing. …
Worse yet, on Saturday, the UK team beat the US team, although we can’t say we were paying enough attention to determine if this happened to be some qualifying heat or some other kind. Still, what are the odds? Well, in addition to dodging phone calls from Maverick we also decided to show off something that not even one Olympic competitor can claim. Dee. Basically, Dee gets a gold medal from us any time we see her, and she doesn’t have to get sweaty to do it. It never hurts, though. [FEATURED TAGS: Dee, D.Minion]

8/8/08

We had to post today, because all those eights are really good luck, and we can generally use all the luck we can find. If you knew about eights being good luck, and you’re not Chinese, then odds are good you’ve been watching all the hype for the opening of the Olympic Games in Beijing tonight. In the spirit of friendly competition we thought we’d feature a couple of a different kind of athlete today, albeit in slightly less clothing. OK, actually Faith Leon and Puma Swede basically have no clothing at all, which really makes it hard to get those endorsement deals, you know. Maybe if Nike starts making high heels or something. …
So in the spirit of friendly taunting (that often accompanies that friendly competition), we called Maverick to ask if the Brits even watch the Olympics or if it’s just too depressing. Mav said they often do well in “rowing” …. Uh-Huh. We often pop down to the sports bar and slug down some beers while we watch “rowing” on TV. That sure gets exciting. Don’t they have a silly name for it like skullduggery or something? Sometimes the world stage ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, and you should really just watch girl on girl porn. [FEATURED TAGS: Puma Swede Video, Faith Leon Video, Exclusive Video]

8/2/08

Although we’re thankfully back to the “beautiful naked woman” philosophy, somehow our beloved D.Minion has managed to work in 70’s television themes, specifically involving The Mod Squad this time around. We’ve often wondered how DM’s unusual brain actually works, and then we pretty quickly become very afraid that some day we’ll find out. …
If you drink enough beer quickly after these disturbing thoughts, it can help take away the fright, by the way. You’ll do well to remember this if you ever find yourself wandering down this scary path. [FEATURED TAGS: Lala X, D.Minion]

2001

Now the Members’ side goes on for another few years, but the indexing system becomes rather different when you reach clear back into those dark risqué ages. Honestly, a lot of things have changed over time, so some of the “old presentations” may hiccup a bit on modern devices. Still, it seemed such a shame to throw away even potentially observable beautiful naked women. Right? … Gee. If we’d have known we were going to live this long, we’d have taken better care of ourselves from the beginning.