When Winston Howes’ wife Janet died 17 years ago, he wanted to find a meaningful and lasting way to honor her. So Howes headed out to the 112-acre (45 hectare) farm he owns near the town of Wickwar, in the southwestern English countryside. He set aside a 6-acre (2.5 hectare) plot and spent a week planting thousands of oak saplings, leaving a perfectly heart-shaped clearing in the middle.

The heart measures about an acre across and points to the childhood home of Howes’ wife, the Daily Telegraph reports. She died at the age of 50 after suffering from heart failure in 1995. The pair had been married for 33 years.

Underneath a very politely worded message asking if a summer position as an administrative assistant at York University was still available, rather than attaching her resume, Vanessa Hojda inadvertently sent her potential employer a photo of Nicolas Cage making one of his signature creepy/crazy expressions.

The 20-year-old posted the email on her Tumblr page with the frantic comment, “I ACCIDENTLY SENT MY POTENTIAL FUTURE BOSS A PICTURE OF NIC CAGE RATHER THAN MY COVER LETTER + RESUME, WHICH HAS A ZIP FILE TITLED WITH A BUNCH OF NUMBERS LIKE THE JPC I ACCIDENTALLY ATTACHED OH MY GOD.”

With resumes all tending to resemble one another, Vanessa can at least console herself in the knowledge that her application isn’t likely to forgotten any time soon.

And while a summer job as a university administrative assistant might not await her, Vanessa’s become an instant…

Like this:

A clam sticking it’s nasty tongue (or whatever it is) out and licking salt off of a table. This doesn’t even seem real.

After watching this video my fear of snakes increased 1,000%. The first video isn’t in English, but it is shorter and gets straight to the point. The second video is in English, and it gives more of the back story.

Since working in elementary schools the past year and a half, I’ve noticed a serious change in playground equipment at schools. When I was in elementary school we had big teeter-totters, swings, and those spinny things that you push and then hold on for dear life as it turns. But it seems like parents and school administrators think these things are now too dangerous for their little darlings, and they’ve come up with new-fangled playground toys to replace the old medieval torture tools.

Hamburger Jail vs. Rocket Cage

Remember these hamburger jails? I admit, I never had one at my school, but I did play on them at McDonald’s. I haven’t seen one of these in years. Instead, they’re being replaced with things like this giant rocket. I will confess that the rocket is pretty cool, but, how can one grow up to be a fully functioning adult without getting stuck inside a huge hamburger? There’s so much space in that rocket that there’s no possible fear of entrapment. That was the thrill of the hamburger! Crawling up that tiny tube ladder and looking through those bars while you’re freedom of movement was seriously restricted by the arc of the bun. I feel like the rocket is more conducive to child meditation than traumatization. That’s why I have to go with the hamburger.

This was my hands-down favorite thing on the playground. Oh my gosh, when I got going you had better have been holding on with both hands and both legs cause you’d fly off it you weren’t. Where else do you have the opportunity to feel what it’s like to be inside a tornado, without actually being in a tornado? These big blue plastic bowl things are terrible. There’s one at my school now and I just shake my head every time I see the kids on it. It doesn’t go fast and there’s no way you can fall out. Even if you did fall out, you’re going so slow you’d have plenty of time to catch yourself before you break your face. Kids these days need to know how to protect themselves and feel the wind in they’re hair. They just aren’t getting that skill with today’s playground toys.

I just don’t understand this plane teeter toter thing. The old school version is awesome. You could go super high, catapult someone, decapitate a passer-by, etc. This new plane thing and others like it is dumb. Look at those kids. They’re hardly even off the ground. I guess it’s safe or whatever, but anyone over the age of three and a half can’t really have any fun on it.

This one really surprised me. Last August I walk onto a playground and realized something was missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was a definite void. And then it hit me. THERE WERE NO SWINGS. NO SWINGS. There were a couple of tire swings, but who wants a tire swing when you can have a regular swing? The only thing you can do on a tire swing is spin really fast with the help of a friend. But on a regular swing you can do so much more! You can also spin really fast by twisting the chain up to the tip top, you can swing super duper high and tempt fate by almost going over the crossbar, you can swing on your stomach, and of course, you can JUMP OFF of the swing. Seriously, what’s a childhood without a good ole’ fashioned jumping competition? And those chains? These kids today don’t know what blisters on your hand or getting your flesh stuck in a chain feels like. Poor things. They don’t know what they’re missing.

My point is that although this new playground equipment is safe and colorful, it isn’t nearly as fun as the old stuff. Parents and administrators need to channel their inner child and go with what they loved when they were kids, and not with what will protect the already entitled generation.