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Review:

Fallstar says:It is puzzling how Don Quixote, the Masterpiece of Spanish Literature, in translation, can read as if it were written in English while a Fanfiction, written in English, reads as if written in...Japanese? I truly do not know, but there are some very stiff phrases in the mouths of Brits that sound less The Queen's and more the Manga's. I don't dislike Japan or anything of the sort, it is merely a mix of anachronism, for varied reasons, and far too many cliches.

What is so endearing about Harry in the books is that he is able to make do with the least. This, in your clothes horse, is a virtue that very much lacks.

I wonder, have you read Aristotle and Plato? Much of what you write seems a demonstration of them, yet other parts are simply appalling paroxysimic ecstasies of one Sue after another.

I appreciate that you enjoy the Martial Arts, and respect that they are a good--a means that can be used wrongly, with the wrong intent--yet you are attemting to demonstrate that intent is everything. Why then, with the whole prequel? And why with the series of subplots that causes so much conflict with the point you are making? Or do you realize your point?

The story as a whole...6/10

Author's Response: Yeah, you're right... again. My story ideas often come while I'm watching anime or movies of some type. All the martial arts type stuff came from me watching entirely too much Bleach. As far as Aristotle and Plato, I've not read any of there work in many years but I've always appreciated their philosophy very much. I realize how disjointed things turned out but by the time I figured that wonderful point out I'd already almost finished with the story and then I kind of depressed myself into completing it. I'm not good at the replies tonight. I'd have to read the stories and try to catch everything, which I haven't done in quite a while, to try and answer your review better. For that I apologize.