Kasi there are things in life that turn out to be not as bad as we regard them to be. Other times, they are the answer to our questions, the reprieve to our troubles, the pitstop to our seemingly unending pursuit to whatever, wherever, be whoever.

What I mean is nanood ako ng pelikula. The kind of movie that has a title that raises my Tita eyebrows, and whose lead stars I don’t really like. May mga ganong tao, no? Di ka naman inaano, pero the sight of them ruins your day. Worsens your already bad day. Perfect kasi. Ha ha

So nanood ako ng, as per Twitter, #LYTTSAB.

There’s this local film critic whose reviews I would agree with most of the time. Minsan harsh siya. But valid naman. Anyway there’s this film that I honestly had no ounce of intention of watching. But it’s the only “parang pwede sa mood ko ‘to” movie that’s lined up for screening this afternoon. And then I remembered that this film critic gave it a 5-star rating. Huh? Eh Tagalog. Rom-com pa. Obviously, I didn’t read his article. Di man lang na intriga bakit. Eh sa ayoko nga. No interest.

The movie, kahit pang bagets, dealt with emotions that I can very much relate with. Not the “feeling relate” lang kind. As in, I know and I understand level.

I said na, no, it was worth my time and money and konting luha? Abaw.

The bagets, too, so good the acting chops. Proved my judgement wrong. And though much of the storyline -except for the extraterrestrial part – has been used countless number of times, if done in a good taste and aims for quality more than just pleasing the “people” is always worth giving a chance.

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An hour ago, the traffic situation looked really bad. Uber said “No cars available at this time”. Where have they gone then? Probably stuck in the long, slow moving queues of vehicles, trying to make their way through this helluva transpo madness. Stuck longer than the usual because it’s Friday and it’s raining. Thank goodness it’s not payday today. Que horror!

So, even if all I want to do now is go home and enjoy this rainy night, immerse myself in a good book, I cannot. Not unless I choose to walk my way home. Which by the look of things doesn’t even appear to be an option. So, here I am, seated by the floor to ceiling glass wall of Paseo Center facing Paseo de Roxas, looking at the very heavy downpour outside, a traffic enforcer trying be on top of the situation amid the heavy rains, cars, well, bumper to bumper.

No chance to go to any bus station, what more the MRT. Heavy rains, no umbrella. Yup. Story of my life. Every time.

Millennial eh

If anything, I get to write. What other better way to spend a surprise me-time than a good read or writing a spontaneous note. With pagkain sana. Another story.

Also, I have exceeded my self-imposed maximum time count for social media for the day. Besides, my newsfeed is boring. It consists mostly of people’s dissenting political opinions, the NBA’s upcoming 4-0 or 3-1 depending whose side you’re on, selfies and the totally disconnected captions that go with them, relentless words of encouragement and inspiration – via a reposted quote or from the heart nobela- from some people in our industry whose efforts in promoting life insurance and long term investments is just unwavering, and travels – endless travels. Because #wanderlust. Not much on traffic. I guess even a trip that’s supposed to take less than an hour but instead takes forever is something that we can get used to.

Traffic situation outside is as bad as the last time I glanced outside some 30 minutes ago. For some reason, I find that the long line of blazing headlights make for a beautiful sight to look at. Parang may concert. Something like that.

By the way, I’ve been in The Sandwich Guy this whole time. And their jingle has been playing repeatedly since I don’t know when.

Praying that my phone’s dwindling battery won’t go off at least until I’m Uber-booked, that I can go home before midnight and that I don’t sing TSG’s jingle out of the blue in the next few days or so. They call that LSS.

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Much has been said about how we should be bold in our dreams; how we should not cower in fear in making our voices heard; how we should be treated/compensated with no gender bias; how we should take on roles that the world only thinks suit him not her, and more.

However way you, dear daughter of Eve, define your very crucial, significant and one of a kind role in this life,

May you not let the opportunity pass to live freely and fully. May you find strength amid life’s seemingly insurmountable challenges. May you realize and embrace the truth that a heart like yours was birthed to endure, to be happy and to love. May you find peace that surpasses all understanding. May your adventures bring you closer to your maker, strengthen bonds of friendship, protect relationships and inspire the people around you to dare and do it. May you choose the pursuit that will bring you to greater heights, bigger and bolder dreams, and ultimately a life where the glory of God shines the brightest.

To the women in my life who have in ways more than I could count made a huge impact in my life, whose stories continue to inspire me, whose strength amaze me every time, whose love and faith mean to me more than any accolade, thank you.

To my two late grandmothers who lived a long, difficult and colorful lives, your simple joys and genuine expressions of happpiness have a special place in my heart. I miss you both.

To the woman who had big dreams but took in head on all that life required of her, who never experienced and will never know what it’s like to work in an 8-5 shift, who was never in any employer’s payroll because she had to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, grandmother- sometimes one major role at a time, sometimes all at once. You may not have become what your younger self aspired to be, but please know that you are exemplary and brilliant in ways no one else can. Thank you for all the love, Mama.

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My attendance in coffee shops is usually business related. At least during working hours.
Other times, I just want to sit down hoping the world to slow down even for just a minute. Futile, I know.

I grew up disliking coffee shops. I thought they were impractical, unnecessary and encourage pretense.

I also grew up not knowing that Sales and Service, together, could mean future for me. And that when I was already in it, no matter how I try to distance myself from holding meetings in coffee shops, drinking coffee more so, I couldn’t just stop the inevitable. It’s like what has God put together, no one can separate. Haha

That to this day, I will never forget the first time I entered Starbucks in Emerald, Ortigas. I cringed.
I didn’t even buy a thing. I just accompanied a friend buying her espresso.

I will also never forget the first time I was asked what food would I like to go with my frappe. And what size would I like my frappe to be. Too much!

Also, last year’s sticker collection for the 2017 SB Planner was a record breaker. In 2 months, I, with the help of some people, completed 4 booklets.
All given away. Merry Christmas and a productive 2017 sa kanilang apat.

Why the reminiscing?

So much has happened since those abovementioned firsts. Those and everything in between (all count for huge changes in my life) may have transpired in less than 10 years, but if I were Miss Philippines, I would have answered “my love and hate relationship with coffee and coffee shops”. Which will not make sense to a lot of people, entirely irrelevant to global crisis, totally insignificant to climate change and world peace.

Probably why I would never have won the crown –
if it were me.

Again, why the reminiscing?

The newly opened Bo’s Coffee in SM Light, a tumbling away from where I live, has the best dulce de leche cake. I like their drinks better than of the others, too. Really. Obviously, andito ako ngayon. To my dismay, however, they have no reading materials. Which led me to reading the last 4 chapters of Psalms on my phone (handy hehe), led me to go through my daily devotions, got to the end of so many unfinished readings that I eagerly started but for some reason nakalimutan na lang, and this. Nakapagsulat ako ulit.

Just when I thought there’s not much for me to do, it turned out that I was able to do so much more.
And more.

Pwede.

Jesus is great!

Have an amazing Sunday!

p.s.

If you find yourself in the same situation but would prefer a more un-modern response (no gadgets), get a pen and paper. It works. 🙂

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Last week, I went to my hometown for an overnight visit to witness a good friend’s wedding. Before leaving back for Bacolod, I paid Papa a visit.
I was happy to see To (Tito) Exor, a very familiar face in my high school days, driving his tricycle. Yay, he drove me to the cemetery. On our way there, he asked what brought me home at this time of year without my family in tow. I told him about the wedding.

Bakit daw di siya invited? (Hala ka, Ninin! Ha ha)

My friend who happens to be the bride was one of his adoptive kids when we were in high school. So I guess that makes the tampo understandable.

I had no answer to his question so I did what I do best when words do not come to my rescue. That is to smile and keep silent.

Since Papa died, whenever To Exor and I would have the chance to catch up, never was a time that he won’t think out loud why good people had to die ahead of those who seem to deserve to die pronto, i.e criminals, corrupts, addicts.

This was no exception. Only with a backstory this time. He asked if I was aware of my friend’s (the bride’s) health condition years back. He recalled an instance where his tricycle was parked outside our house, my friend and Papa were talking about life’s struggles. I’m sure Papa shared his own but I bet the conversation was mostly about my friend’s condition at the time.

To this day, whenever I hear stories about Papa that I never knew of when he was still around, I can’t help but be amazed of how big a heart my father had. He was just so open, willing and giving.

This year has been a year of many firsts. Of so many breakthroughs. I will hold the enumeration off.
But this would have been what Papa longed for, dreamed of and prayed for fervently. But I have long ago made peace with the truth that no prestige, amount of success or cute grandkids could ever measure to what awaits to God’s faithful when he is called home.

My heart cries more for the legacy that Papa has left. For the faith that he had, and from that faith the fruits start to bear slowly and perfectly.

I had the chance to share this homecoming encounter to Father Ariel Gregorio, one of our family’s dear friends and one of Papa’s beloved priests. And he said it best, “Damo ko kilala nga ga flaunt this and that. Si Manong? Simple lang. Simple lang gid. Pero quality of life? The best. So much unrevealed goodness”.

2016! I fell short many times. Did things that wouldn’t make you proud. I hope this 2017 I will do better. For in doing so, I honor you and Mama.
And in honoring you both I honor the One who deserves all the glory and thanksgiving.

May your legacy not be forgotten and may Jesus’ light shine more in me, in us, in the lives you’ve deeply touched.

I miss you, Papa. I love you. Thank you.

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