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Monday, 7 May 2018

34 years old

I was lucky enough to have my birthday fall on a Saturday this year, so I got to sleep in (until 7:15, but still!), have a day date with Jon, hang out with the family. I was super spoiled this year with two cakes (one ice cream cake with the kiddos, and one normal cake with work), and some really thoughtful gifts. The best for me was getting to go on a nice long lunch date with Jon while my sister and mom watched the boys.

(May 5 downtown Freddy)

Jon and I talked a lot about the past year. To be honest, 33 was kind of insane for me. The past year has definitely been the worst year of my life. I am at a point where I can feel myself getting over it, and sometimes I think I need to get over it faster because in the end nothing actually happened. It was almost exactly a year ago that we got our diagnosis and we went to Moncton for the weekend. Mother's day was a totally write-off last year. I remember my sister and I trying to celebrate a little for the kid's sake and also to keep me occupied so I wouldn't just cry all day. We forced ourselves to go to the zoo even though it was cold and we were the only ones there. We went to the pool, which was so not fun for me because my bump was visible. It's weird, but I feel like I didn't even get a summer last year. It was like that whole season was so consumed with my worry and stress and grief that it didn't even exist. So right now I am just looking so forward to doing normal summer things and being 34.

(Jon and I took a walk downtown to check out the water)

(Love him so much)

Goals for my 34 year old self: Keep working hard and learning more about owning the practice. Stay in the moment with these two little boys of ours. Don't buy any new clothes! I am going to try to keep mostly buying secondhand, which is something I have been doing for a year and a half now save for the few nursing shirts I bought. Read and write a lot. I read constantly and write pretty often, so I want to keep that up. Stay active. I want to run a few 5Ks this year, and do pilates in the winter. Nothing crazy, just enough to feel good. I am also going to try to shop in person a little more. I LOVE online shopping for everything from shampoo to sofas. But it is SO much packaging. I am sick of the packaging. So I am going to make more of an effort to try to find what I want in stores. This is going to be the hardest thing for me for sure.