How Natural Is Today's Woman?

brought barbie home

I went out to a trendy nightclub with my boys one evening and met up with this absolute babe that would make Pamela Anderson feel like Roseanne — or so I thought. We got to talking and before you could say "Are those real?", we were at her place.

We got to talking and before I knew it, Barbie's ugly truth was shining through. Just about everything on this woman wasn't hers. Her hair was dyed, her lashes were fake, her nose was "corrected," her breasts were fake, her nails were fake, and she spent 15 minutes of each day at a tanning salon... need I go on?

Needless to say, her "I'm not really beautiful" speech sure convinced me and I thought it better not to spend the night with this woman for fear that I might break something that didn't have a money-back guarantee.

hey, that's my plastic

Of course, most guys would complain about a woman who was covered in property that wasn't rightfully hers. But hey, that's not to say that it isn't a pleasure to look at. Then again, guys love playing the "what work has she had?" game.

It's crazy that virtually anyone can walk into a plastic surgeon's office and come out looking completely different. Soon there'll be an express lane for cosmetic surgery with a discount for "4 items and less."

Believe it or not, more than 6.3 million women underwent plastic surgery in 2000, and comprised 86% of all surgeries as well. The most popular surgical procedures for such women are:

I'm assuming that since most women have already had their breasts done, the popular procedure made its way down to fourth place, whereas only 5 years ago, it had the top spot.

"Women are taking advantage of all the advances in cosmetic plastic surgery to the degree with which they are comfortable," says Dr. Erhardt, MD and President of the American Society of Plastic Surgery (ASPS). "Plastic surgery, as an option, has become part of the lifestyle choices Americans make to achieve their desired look."

So it seems that plastic surgery has gone from being something that only Hollywood celebrities did, to something that your aunt, your sister and your girlfriend might be doing.

stop looking at her

Now most guys will be quick to point out that they love their woman au naturel and wouldn't be happy if she began to modify herself (even AskMen.com takes points away from featured celebrities if they've had work done and focuses on things like personality and style), these same guys have to admit that they have an equally hard time tearing their eyes away from these enhanced beauties when they spot them.

And while your woman might get somewhat miffed because you keep staring at the bottle-blonde with hot-air balloons for breasts, we all know that Breasty might do for an evening or two, but not a lifetime. The fantasy and the reality are two very different things, so don't bother fusing the two — I tried that and ended up in a very disappointing place.