Quotes of the week: outspoken deputies and cuddly kittens

- United Russia deputy Ilya Kostunov, praising political IQs in an interview to Public Post. Following a major scandal, Kostunov apologized, but the State Duma Ethics Committee decided to investigate him for inappropriate speech anyway

“Only virgins have a chance.”

- Orthodox activist Dmitry Enteo, dashing the hopes of various women who have proposed to him, during political debates at the ArteFAQ club in Moscow. Enteo himself is alleged to have a wild past

“This is a very significant and much-needed present.”

- LDPR deputy Kirill Zhiragev, commenting the fact that the Moscow region Duma is buying its deputies 80 iPads for a total sum of 3 million rubles (about $95,000). The Moscow region Duma has just 50 deputies

“[Mikhail Prokhorov] is sort of like Bruce Wayne, in a sense.”

– Darren Davis, publisher of a new comic book starring the Russian billionaire

“The city, the airport, and the airline should have done more to stop [him] from climbing into the wheel well of the plane.”

– The family of deceased 16-year-old Devon Tisdale, who is suing US Airways after their son hid in the wheel well of an airplane and fell out, dying on impact, en route to Boston

“It really was a horrendous shock.”

– Alistair McAlpine, a former politician who has reached a £185,000 settlement with BBC after the news organization wrongly implicated him as a pedophile

“After this maneuver, [the cat’s head] popped out of the hole like a cork out of a bottle,”

- Rescuers in the Chelyabinsk region, who had to smear a cat’s head with sunflower oil to free it from a car wheel where it became trapped after chasing a mouse

“We didn’t come here to eat, we came here to work.”

- Nazir Yunusov, a migrant worker from Uzbekistan who earns just 17,000 rubles ($535) per month in Moscow, in an interview about his life and the lives of other migrants with RIA Novosti

“There is nothing unusual about this; it’s all part of a normal working process.”

- Investigative Committee representative Yelena Rossokhina, commenting on the decision to close the investigation into the alleged enslavement of migrant workers in a grocery store in the Moscow neighborhood of Golyanovo, to Interfax. The alleged victims themselves may be prosecuted for breaking immigration laws

“Men, because they are lords and rulers, are given strong, powerful, aggressive animals; he decided to give a cozier present to a woman.”