Be the envy of your survivalist friends with this 235-bed beauty in Northern Ireland.

You say you’ll need an escape route should the presidential candidate of your nightmares prevail come November? Perhaps a spacious and lavishly equipped nuclear fallout bunker will do the trick, provided you’re OK with a move to Northern Ireland and can pony up the quite reasonable $840,000 asking price. Built in 1987 at the end of the Cold War, the bunker sleeps 235, and while its technological trimmings may be in need of modernization, such will be the least of your worries once President Nightmare has a finger on the button. The Guardian has details and a Reuters photographer shows the place off here.

Maybe not the most inviting in the world, except perhaps under certain circumstances. Sign on the left reads: “DISCLAIMER: Persons using the Car Park and Access Road do so at their own risk. No responsibility is accepted for the safety of vehicles or their contents.” May I pour you a drink?

Here’s the dormitory in a nuclear bunker built by the British government in the late 1980s and recently put up for sale. In the event of a nuclear attack, the building could operate in a shut-down capacity for 30 days. Or at least it could when it was active.

Described by Reuters as “a message chute,” what you’re looking at here is a pneumatic tube-based messaging system that must have made sense at the time for some reason. (Quick story: On a college internship in the late ‘70s, I captured a live bumblebee and sent it from the newsroom to the composing room in one of those tubes. They did not hire me when I graduated.)

Your bunker comes with a backup phone. We know it’s a backup phone because the yellow sticky note on it says “Back Up Phone.” There’s a number on it, too, which is highly unlikely to work though you’re free to try.

There are three ways into and out of your nuclear fallout bunker and this control panel can tell you the state of each at a glance. Those states being: locked, unlocked, closed, open or unspecified “emergency.” The latter is the one you don’t want to see glowing.