According to many of my female college students, dads sometimes keep a little more physical distance with their daughters after puberty begins. A few years ago, during a discussion about puberty in an adolescent development class, a young woman raised her hand and said, “When I was 12, and in the midst of all the body changes, the relationship with my father became more distant.”

A feminine chorus of “Me too” echoed around the room. In each semester since, I have asked the women enrolled in the same course if they had a similar experience. Thirty to 50 percent said they did.

It’s not surprising that some dads will be perplexed as to how to react as they watch their “little girls” turn the corner toward womanhood. And mothers often have similar issues with their adolescent sons. Our best bet is to follow the lead of our adolescents. Most will not balk if we occasionally put an arm around their shoulder or give a loose hug. It will become obvious that they either enjoy the affection or they don’t, and it may vary from one age to another. When in doubt, ask for permission to hug.

Thanks to the parents who shared a kid tip this week. Please send in your favorite parenting tip.

Teens need affection: They may not be young kids anymore, but teenagers still need hugs or some form of affection from their parents. Don’t embarrass them by being affectionate in public, but an occasional hug or a goodnight kiss on their forehead could be a welcome reminder that you love them. One of the many reasons that teens become sexually active is because they lack affection. People, not just teens, will get affection any way they can. — Anonymous, Flagstaff, Ariz.

Cleanup bag: If you have to clean up in a hurry (say, less than five minutes), grab some brown grocery bags. Just tear around the house filling up the grocery bags with everything you want put away. Stash the bags in the basement or closet and sort them out some other time. This has an added advantage of being attractive to children as a kind of game — see who can fill up the most bags, or who can do it the fastest. In less than five minutes, you can have your house looking all shipshape. — Gail L., Washington, D.C.

Did I see a red streak go by? I bought bright-red T-shirts for my three young, active children. They always wear them at the mall, flea market, large sporting events, grocery stores, farmers market and other large events. They stand out like a sore thumb. I scan the area until I see a red streak go by. — Marie V., Sacramento

Color-coded Post-it notes for messages: An easy way to ensure that family members get their phone messages is to use color-coded Post-it notes. Each family member gets his or her own pad of Post-it notes in a specific color, and it stays by the phone. When someone takes a call or message, he or she writes it on the appropriate family member’s Post-it and sticks it wherever the family has agreed to put messages. When a family member arrives home, all he or she has to do is look for his or her own color of Post-its to see if he or she has a message. — Jane Wallace, Walnut Creek

E-mail Tom at tom@kidtips.com, or call 925.461.6080. Syndicated columnist Tom McMahon is a psychology professor at Ohlone College and author of parenting books. Visit his Web site at www.kidtips.com.