Unless you are friends with some old ass people who have memory issues, your friends didn’t forget to invite you to painting with a twist, they just don’t fucks with you anymore. That lack of invite is called SHADE. Think about what YOU did to be in this situation. I’m over people saying “Oh I forgot to text you to come” girl don’t play dumb, I created that game. Just keep it real, you don’t want me coming because I’m an 11 compared to your ugly ass. I get that being next to me makes you look even uglier but don’t take that out on me, take it out on God.

I’ve learned not being invited somewhere is a blessing to you and your bank account. Save that bread! If you’re not invited somewhere what do you do? NOTHING! Do NOT entertain it, they want you to feel unwanted, girl you ain’t unwanted God loves you, he thinks you’re hella lit. Why even allow people to let you feel a type of way about not getting invited? I used to get so butt hurt about being left out. But then I realized, if I’m not there…. everyone else suffers, NOT me.

I would legit sit there like some psycho trying to figure out WHY wasn’t daddy invited? Is he not cute enough anymore? Does he no longer make you giggle anymore? WHAT IS IT! At first I would message them all like some loser ass psycho. “Hi” “Whats up” “what are WE doing tonight”. When that wouldn’t work, I would make voodoo dolls for all those who were invited. A little poke of the needle here or there never hurt anyone! (BTW Anna, YES that is why you always random stabs in your left tits, told you not to fuck with me).

But then I realized WHO FUCKING CARES! If someone doesn’t want you there TAKE A HINT. They didn’t forget to text you, you didn’t slip their mind. They don’t have Alzheimer’s…..they are just OVER YOU! I call these “convenient friends”, friends who only want you around when it benefits them or when they finally realize their mans is an piece of shit boy, Matt was right.

I can handle seeing people hangout without me because I’m already dead inside so I feel nothing. But if you can’t, here are some tips! First, NEVER check their snapchat or Instagram Stories. They can see you watched them so it makes YOU look pathetic .Why watch them have fun, when all it will do is make you wanna cut your wrists. Next, do NOT post anything on social media, AT ALL. No tweets, snaps or likes. Go MIA for one night, make people question WTF is he doing tonight? Is he getting ass or dead. You know what their rude ass is doing, so make them question what your ass is doing.

Take this night off as a way to catch up on your shows & movies. Have some fun with it! Get a bottle of wine, smoke a blunt and do you tonight BABY! Stop worrying about what the fuck your loser ass friends are doing. Don’t turn into the psycho friend, blowing everyone up asking why you weren’t invited, its beyond embarrassing. For once in your life put yourself first, make yourself queen for the night. Lastly, do a spell on them, “Ha tickka ma, He Ticko Mo, Enter name here”, that will give them really bad back acne and cause them to lose hair, your welcome, don’t fuck with a witch, bitch.