“Her Highest Praises Were Mocking Insults”—What It’s Like Growing Up With a Narcissist for a Parent

“My dad did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted—and we either went along or got out of his way. One time, he spent our family vacation money on a new car. We were devastated. We’d been saving for over a year. I was my father’s ‘first love.’ I don’t mean that in a sexually abusive way. For whatever reason, he felt super-bonded to me and I became his favorite. When he got injured and had to be transported by ambulance, he wanted me with him, rather than my mother. In graduate school, I started therapy to try to work through my relationship with my dad. I cut my parents off for a few years, but eventually we reconciled. My dad quit drinking, which helped, but I also became less emotionally vulnerable, had better boundaries, and didn’t accept his constant belittling as truth.” —Melanie