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Author
Topic: Introduce yourself and meet others! (Read 66265 times)

Oh, where do I begin.................... let's see............... I just found this site the other day while searching for a support group. I've come to a point where I need to have people that I can talk to about my situation. I have absolutely no one to talk to because I haven't told anybody that I'm HIV positive (except for my ex-boyfriend who I had sworn to secrecy and he's no longer around).

Anyway, I got tested back in 1993 at a womens clinic, I had my little girl with me when I got the results and was just numb. I went home and racked my brain trying to figure who, where, when, and why me? But I couldn't figure it out, I just figured this was some kind of a cruel joke for all the running around, drinking, and drugging I'd done.

After I got my head straight I decided to move out of the state that I had grown up in, mainly because I didn't want everyone knowing my business. In 1994 I moved to Florida; my life was very normal up until 2002, that's when I started getting sick. It seemed like I was at my doctor's office every 3 to 4 weeks for some kind of infection and rattling in my chest that just would not go away. Deep down I knew what was wrong but I didn't want to deal it, I had kids to take care and a job and a life..........................

Eventually, I got re-tested and referrred to an Infectious Disease Specialist. By then I was really sick, my hair was falling out in clumps, my weight was dropping and I had to drag myself into work every day. When I wasn't at work I was sleeping. I really thought that I was going to die, I know that my kids thought so too, yet I never told them what was wrong with me.

Looking back I think I should have told them but I just couldn't do it, I couldn't have my kids thinking that their mother got this terrible disease because she enjoyed running around and having sex when she was younger. It may sound stupid or selfish or even foolish to some of you but I am just not willing to air my dirty laundry to my kids.

Since then I have been lucky enough to have found some good doctors. I've been on several different types of meds. (some I've had bad reactions to) and I've gained an awful lot of weight over the past 4 years but at least I'm here! My kids are just about grown, I still have the same job and I feel good most of the time.

I'm very happy that I found this site and hope to make some friends and hopefully find a local support group to attend.

Welcome, Lisa: This is the best site to share your worries with. Many people here have gone through hell but are back and still moving forward in life. We share our thoughts, our health issues, and even our personal everyday experiences. Some are sad, some are funny, and some are just good old advice. We are a big family here so do post whenever you can because the more you expose yourself, the more we get to know you. Oh, and about not telling your kids, do so when you think the time is right, but remember, sooner or later you might need their help and it would be wise if at least one of them knew (it all depends on who's the mature one). I haven't told anyone either except my partner. My family doesn't know and I've been + for 20 years. For the moment, if you are healthy and living a normal life, eat healthy, take your meds, and do rest when you feel your body needs it. Welcome and good luck to you!

Logged

Catman

Meow to the birdsMeow to the tree'sMeow to the endof this dreadful disease...

Hi all George here! 37, Living in a small town somewhere in the middle of no where. found out of my status in 1996, so it's been 10 years. No major problems so far. I work in a prison. I tend to take on more than I should family, friends, and work. Some how I still get it done. Failure is not in my ethics. Sometimes I wish I would let myself fail just to show me that I am human. I've built my own monster. Now I must live with him.

It was 1975, March 28 at 10:04am. My mother was wheeled into the delivery room at the Naval Hospital located at the China Lake Naval Weapons Center, where she, by caesarian, delivered healthy twin boys. My brother-Joshua was first and I followed two minutes later. The odd part of my birth is that I didn’t cry-I came out singing “Rose’s Turn” from GYPSY.

My brother and I grew up in the town of Ridgecrest, CA which is where the China Lake Naval base is located. Though don’t be fooled by the name, Ridgecrest is in the Mojave desert 250 miles north east of Los Angeles and two hours east of Bakersfield. Its claim to fame is that it is the “Most direct route to Death Valley.” My brother and I went through our entire scholastic careers in this very small town, where, for fun, we hunted for Horny Toads and stuck them in our teachers’ desks. That is all there is to do in that town, oh yes, and suffer from the 120-degree summers!

At a very early age, I had the urge to become a STAR! So my mother packed me up and took to me to Los Angeles once or twice a week to audition and audition and audition some more. I think I heard the word “No” so often that I began to add “No” to my stage name: Jeromy NO Dunn. After all the blood, sweat and tears, I finally made my big break; I was now a Mattel kid (everyone needs a GI-Joe)! I did commercials and more commercials and more commercials and then I was too old. Too old? I was only 8 for crying out loud! So I became familiar with that nasty “N” word again.

By the time I got into High School, I was doing everything I could do to make it as an actor: community theatre, dinner theatre, street theatre, and standing in front of my bathroom mirror impersonating Barbara Streisand for hours on end. Until finally my mother said if she heard “People” one more time, she was going to scrape my vocal chords out of my throat using the wooden spoon I using as my microphone! After more auditioning, I landed a recurring role on a popular NBC show called “California Dreams.” I had made it! I was a huge star (well at least the six twelve year olds that watched the show thought so)!

I graduated from High School and moved out of that dusty, dirt-ridden town for my glamorous life in Hollywood, where I promptly moved into a one-bedroom apartment in Burbank, CA with one bathroom, no shower, a hot plate, and four roommates. This was it; I hit it big!

I spent the next 4 years trying to make something of myself, taking odd jobs here and there; I was the best retail queen anyone had seen; (“Now, that was a extra-extra large thong, right?”) I needed to come clean with my family about being gay, so I did what any self-respecting small town –“mo” would -I had it announced on the front page of my hometown newspaper. Discretion was never my strong suit. My family was taken aback, way back; my mother’s response was: “It’s my fault…I shouldn’t have let you have that Easy Bake Oven ® when you were three!”

After that fiasco finally blew over, I wanted to be serious again, so I quit my retail job and went to be a serious actor. I started waiting tables (“would you like fries with that?”).

I had been a server for about a year or so when I met Steve my life partner, whom I have been with for seven years and counting. He works for a major aerospace company that moved us to Seattle, where again I had to wait tables (no degree = no “real” job). I don’t remember how it happened, but I went to an interview for a sales position with a high tech company and was hired as a technical recruiter. I worked for the company for 2 years, and then I was wooed to work for a dot com, now dot gone! After that, I went to work for a bank in the Seattle area.

I worked in the Data/Information Security department; with the Communications and Knowledge Management team; and I was with them for three and a half years as of July 2004; I just made a career transition to another big financial company and I work as a Senior Information Security Analyst with the IT Security Services group doing the same job as I did at the bank. Though I feel that I have been quite successful up to now, I have had to fight very hard to get where I am today.

In January 2005, I was given news that would forever change my life. I was diagnosed as HIV positive. My doctors have been able to make an educated guess that I have been positive for 7 years prior to my diagnosis. I now volunteer with a local AIDS Service Organization (ASO) in its prevention department by traveling to many local schools and churches as and HIV/AIDS educator and public speaker. It’s important work and it means a lot to me to be doing this as well; if I can open one mind to what it means to be living with this disease, and to start breaking down the wall of stigma, that surrounds this virus, one brick at a time.

Steve and I split up June of 2006 and I now live in Charlotte, NC. I have made some terrific friends here and I look forward to my life starting over!

Hi, my names Josh. I just registered with the site a few minutes ago lol. I live in San Juan, Puerto Rico and I'm 23 years Old. I am a student, waiter, and manager of a restaurant here. I just tested positive for HIV about 2 weeks ago (I did a home access test). I guess I have been positive for about a year and 8 months, I had a HORRIBLE unexplainable flu about that time ago and got scared, took a test 2 days late and it came back negative (but i later learned antibodies take 1-3 weeks to produce so i was in the window period). I was living in florida at that time and turned from innocent good boy to dumbass meth-head so i was definatly engaging in behavior i would never consider now that im sober :-D.

I haven't gotten sick yet, have a doctors appointment soon so i hope to be ok :-D. I've been hitting the gym, eating healthy and honestly never felt better or in better health (i started being healthy before diagnoses).

I enjoy the gym, dinner, movies, school, etc.....

anyways this introduction seems to be turning into a personals ad instead of an introduction so ill just leave it at this hehe.

After more auditioning, I landed a recurring role on a popular NBC show called “California Dreams.” I had made it! I was a huge star (well at least the six twelve year olds that watched the show thought so)!

Oh wow, I liked “California Dreams” (especially Michael Cade who played Sly Winkle) and pretty much the entire TNBC Saturday line-up. Oh gosh I was 22 years old and watching TNBC

Well my name is Ray. I am a former elected official from New Jersey. I tested positive in November 2005 and went public on Worlds AIDS Day. The public showed me love, the party threw me off the party line...I did not run for re-election. This past year has been a lot of ups and downs as I have adjusted to becoming HIV positive and restarting my career, which up to that point had been on a great path, but I have survived it all. I just created www.justtestedpositive.com so that all of us can meet and chat and build a great web community. You can find me there in the chatroom trying to build up the site. If you have a moment pass by, you don't have to be a "newbie" everyone is welcome...and its for us..

Hi, my names Josh. I just registered with the site a few minutes ago lol. I live in San Juan, Puerto Rico and I'm 23 years Old. I am a student, waiter, and manager of a restaurant here. I just tested positive for HIV about 2 weeks ago (I did a home access test). I guess I have been positive for about a year and 8 months, I had a HORRIBLE unexplainable flu about that time ago and got scared, took a test 2 days late and it came back negative (but i later learned antibodies take 1-3 weeks to produce so i was in the window period). I was living in florida at that time and turned from innocent good boy to dumbass meth-head so i was definatly engaging in behavior i would never consider now that im sober :-D.

I haven't gotten sick yet, have a doctors appointment soon so i hope to be ok :-D. I've been hitting the gym, eating healthy and honestly never felt better or in better health (i started being healthy before diagnoses).

I enjoy the gym, dinner, movies, school, etc.....

anyways this introduction seems to be turning into a personals ad instead of an introduction so ill just leave it at this hehe.

Glad i found this site though (lots of support) =)

-josh

Hey Josh, and welcome to the forums...sorry you have to be here, but welcome!

... my mother’s response was: “It’s my fault…I shouldn’t have let you have that Easy Bake Oven ® when you were three!”

You know, I had one of those when I was three also. Mine was a really pale lime green (remember, this was the late '60's). What really bothered one of my grandmothers was the tea set I got for my birthday a month later! The signs were everywhere!

Hi all my name is Janet and I am 39yrs old been pos since 05 I have two girls 19 and 16 I have been married for a yr,but have been with my husband for 8 yrs. I've been on and off this site since finding out of my status, but I would always forget my sign on name and password so this time I saved it to my computer,lol...I enjoy coming on here because you all are so knowledgable and very nice thank you. It is hard to find anything in my community as a way of support,so I come on here.I have been unable to work for a log time now,due to a lot of health issues. I am a diabetic also and have PN.I have so many things going on medically. It just feels good to come on here and read about everyone else. I don't feel so alone anymore. I have a great support system but I just feel like they don't understand what I'm going threw,you know when someone asks you how your feeling they really don't want to here how your really feeling.lol... My mom went away for three months,She spent the summer in Cape Cod,mass.So when she came home I had to bring in my daughters friend to help with some of the responsabilities of the house.My daghter is young and she is having a hard time excepting what is happening to me,anyway my mom asks why I need so much help and my daughter told her that I'm getting worse and that my husband has to bathe me and she flipt out and said no no no she's fine. So it was a pretty bad seen my daughter started to cry I started to cry and my husband just got angry at my mom.My mom doesn't think I'm fighting hard enough she just thinks I'm giving up.I don't know maybe I am. I'm tired of feeling ill and sometime I;m tired of fighting. It is one thing after another. If it wasn't for my girls and my husband I would give up.I am doing the best that I can with what I have to work with. I'm starting to think I'm like a cat with nine lives.lol.....Anyway it is night to meet you all and I hope to talk to you all soon

Nice to meet you, Janet. I can relate with you because I am diabetic as well and am starting to have to battle with pn too. It sounds to me that your pn seems to be more severe than mine. I am glad you found us because this is a great place for support.

I am sorry to hear about your daughter getting upset. Does your children know the extent of your illnesses? If not maybe a discussion about it will help. Just a suggestion. I was worried about how my son would react to me being poz since my sister decided to tell him and just recently we had a talk about it. It made things a lot easier. Thanks to my sister, he thought I was on my death bed. But it is up to you.

I'm sorry about what your mother said, that was terrible thing to say. Sometimes family members can say the most hurtful things. I hope things will get better for you. I will keep you in my prayers....

I was born on 4 Sep 1982 in Washington, DC. My dad was in the military, so my childhood was spent in Maryland, Georgia, Arizona, North Carolina, Germany, and all over Virginia.

That said, I consider Virginia Beach to be my hometown, because I lived there the longest (a whopping 5 years) and went to high school there. That city owns me because of puberty.

I graduated high school in 2000 and went to a community college in Fredericksburg, Va. before going to William and Mary in 2001.

I. Hated. That. Place.

So, I left in late 2003 to move to Richmond.

I contracted HIV in 2004 and found out on 22 Feb 2005. I was going to join the Navy (shut up, I had taken the DLAB... the Defence Language Apititude Battery and qualified to learn Arabic and Chinese... fun) to be a linguist for the military... but a positive result on the test put an end to that.

Since then, I've been in a sort of wheel spinning mode... spending a lot of my time in New York... with trips to Boston and Philly... I've gone to Montreal twice... and I like going to places where most people don't go. Like Tangier Island or the Great Dismal Swamp (look them up, especially Tangier Island... that place is amazing).

I currently live in a neighborhood in Richmond called Oregon Hill with my awesome Roommate of the Large Breasts, her Manx Cat of the No Tail, and my Cat of the Extreme Menace To All Fragile Objects He Comes Into Contact With. Their names are Megatron and Rimbaud.

I will be relocating to Austin early next year. It promises to rock.

I am not satisfied with where my life is right now, and I think a move to somewhere I've never been would be the best thing to do. I have a penchant for extreme action in the face of dissatisfaction.

My name is Rob. I am 28 yrs old and got out of the military in Jan. 2005. I met my boy, Mike, in November of 2004 and he was the driving force to get me to leave the military cuz of our plans to marry once the UK Civil Partnership Act was approved. I also wanted to get a decent form of education.I felt fine when I was released from active duty, only to realise that in mid- August of 2005 was the worst day of my life (that was the day I received my 'preliminary positive' HIV result). I kept on asking questions like How or Why cuz I was trying to b as faithful to my man as I cud since I was released from the military. No one cud explain to me what a 'preliminary positive' result was and I was hopeing that it wud b a false positive, so I took countless HIV tests which seemed to confirm the obvious. I was so depressed. Both Mike and I cudn't believe it, but Mike has vowed to stay w/ me ever since- we currently r and just celebrated our 2nd yr anniversary.Mike came and saw me in September of that yr and we both went to my initial HIV doctor's visit at Harbourview hospital. I was still saddened on how my life turned from the happy go lucky kid that I have been to a very jaded character.In November of that yr, right b4 my school term finished, I broke out in a bad case of shingles and was rushed to the ER, curteousy of my sis. When my HIV doctor found out, she claimed that I shud not b too concerned and that it was not the end of the world. I thought otherwise. When my shingles cleared up, I started my HIV meds, Truvada and Sustiva, on Thanksgiving day.The meds have improved my health and my overall outlook on life. I never thought I wud b as depressed as I was, but now I am the exact opposite. The combo of Truvada/Sustiva has helped improve my health.I have only seen a doctor once this year, and that was only for a cold. I remember going into seeing a doctor for a lot worse. I have developed a good way of communication w/ my HIV doctor, we email eachother if something ever happens that I believe I wud need to alert her over.Ever since I got diagnosed, I have been keeping my result a secret. I have told a few ppl since then like a few of my closest friends and I developed the nerve to tell my parents earlier this yr. I feel grateful of having a supportive sis that claims she understands what I am going thru, along w/ my drawn out LDR. My brother, Geoff, knew about my status cuz my sister told him. I have 2 brothers that r twins...and no, I am not one of them.I currently reside in Sammamish, WA in a 2 bed/2 bath apartment. My roomm8s r my sister and her bf.I have been working at a call centre since July, 2005. It was only ment as a temp., pending my UK immigration (which has not gone thru yet).I was made a permanent employee in September of this yr, just a few weeks since my car was totaled. I have had a lot of ups and downs since then, but I believe there is some sort of silver lining somewhere. I still don't know how optimistic I shud feel about my HIV status, which I have forgotten until the time comes around for me to take my pills. I struggle to stay as close to adherrance as possible. I tell my doctor that I go insane if I am 'not on schedule'. I really h8 that. I guess that explains my improvement from where I initially started out, when my #s were way off the charts and my CD4's were hovering near the 200 range...coninsidence??I am a big fan of going to the gym and I walk to mine, cuz I have a free membership due to my sister's bf, who happens to work at the club. I spend countless hrs in there, trying to get the body that I had previously. All in the name of vanity. Is that still a sin??

Hi there! My name is Beto (actually it's a nickname, something like "Bob" in English and I am from Brazil. I live in one of the largest cities in the world, São Paulo, and have been a user of AM since January. I have never posted anything up til now, but have been reading the posts religiously and have learned a lot since then. I am 36 years old and have a relationship with a poz man, Andy, who is 34. In the picture he is the one sitting down. I love him to bits, and even when I thought I would never fall in love again, at 36 (we've been together for 8 months), here comes life and teaches me another lesson, this time a very enjoyable one . Andy is one of those fortunate people and even though he's been poz for 10 years, his VL is undetectable and CD4s are aways above 1000. He takes no meds as of yet but has a very positive attitude towards life, and tells me he is not afraid of starting them when the time comes. I am not aware if you, friends of AM, know that in Brazil we get the medication for free from our government. No HIV poz person has to pay a dime for HAART, and we have now about 180k people signed up and taking full advantage of this benefit. My relationship with Andy and being part of this community have been really important to me as I can say today I have a completely different view and approach to this virus and how to live with it. I hope I will be more active in the posts from now on. Congratz on your (our) immense courage, and sorry for my bad English. All the best!

Hi everyone, I just started reading the forums and lately have started posting a bit. I seroconverted sometime past June 2003 until my partner and I were diagnosed in December 2004. There's a high level of palliative comfort in knowing there are others who care and offer camaraderie to those who need advice or even just a listening ear to vent to.

Although I remain asymptomatic and not under medications, my partner unfortunately have gone gotten ill with encephalitis and toxo 10 months after diagnosis despite taking truvada and sustiva. After extensive rehab he is now back in the workforce tho he suffers relentless fatigue, occasional backdoor trots and inability to button his collar due to impaired precision of his left hand.

I work in Physical Rehabilitation. Any related issues, you can always message me here or at paolo10954@aim.com. I would be more than happy to give back to this community for all the help and concern that abound in these forums.

Hey all Bob here As of 10/2006 I’m 22 - 0 I been kicking HIV ASS, When I look back when I found out I was +, I gotta laugh. It happened in Oct.1984 when I received certified mail. I was so happy, thought I won a trip that I entered. My two co-workers and I smoked a bone then went to the post office to get the letter. I didn’t even look and see who it was from, I just started ripping it open with my two friends over my shoulder looking and there it was in big letters SORRY TO INFORM YOU BUT THE BLOOD YOU DONATED HAS TEST POSITIVE FOR AIDS. My fucking jaw dropped, I didn’t say a word, neither did my friends. AIDS was all in the news back then, and people didn’t think too kindly to people with aids. I’m like what the fuck am I gonna do, I thought for sure I was a goner. All of this right after losing my sister Elsie in February from cancer then two weeks later my mother died of a broken heart, and then in July my best friend Bobbo got stabbed to death the day my son was born. I’m like what the hell else can happen to me. Just before getting the news from the blood bank, I went to the doctors for what I thought was cancer under my arm. I went to the hospital few days later to have it removed. He preceded to tell me I have aids and hep-c (DAH already knew two days ago} then tells my wife behind my back to get tested. I remember him telling me I could live for 20 years, Yeah right, within a year of being diagnosed people were dropping like flies. And my wife, well she never does get tested till I get very sick in 96. Thank god she and my sons have tested negative, I didn’t started meds till 97cause I didn’t want to be a Ginny pig, test rat. I started with comuvair and fortafase something like that, my t-cells were <4 and V load off the charts. I stayed on med for about a year before my drug addiction started and I stopped taking my meds. My t-cell made it to like 100-120 something and V load was undetectable. When I ended up in the hospital again in 2000 I start meds again, only to succumb to drug addiction a few months later, and stopped taking them. Now I been staying the course with my meds. Its been like 18 months or so, my cd4's are 63 8% and v load <50 All in all it’s been hell, lost lots of friends, been in and out of drug addiction, the sickness and the big one, after 20 years my wife got tiered of me falling in love with drugs and being depressed and we divorced in 2004. Oh well life goes on and I hope I see another 20 years just to prove that jerk-off doctor was wrong.

I'm a newbie to the forum although I've been registered member AIDSmeds since my diagnosis 10yrs ago.I didn't go the the doctors until 2 yrs after my testing poz due to medical insurance. I was in college and did my test anonymous. When I finally had my insurance and had my 1st lab results, my viral load was in the millions and my CD4 was just over 250, and still I had no symptoms.My only trip to the hospital was caused by an allergic reaction to Zerit. I developed a horrible rash and soon my vision was blurred, my skin began to harden and turn purple. I was on Sustiva at the time too, so the doctors thought it was the common rash Sustiva can cause. I have been on a Kaletra, Ziagen, Videx combo since 2001 and my viral load has remained <50 while my CD4 count has been as high as 1100 and never less than in the 600's. I have been asymptomatic the entire time since my seroconversion... I feel very lucky for that!I'm a Florida native ( Ft.Lauderdale/Miami) now living in California (SF Bay). I lived in Brazil for many years and I have also lived in France and North Carolina. I have had a pretty good tolerance to the meds. My major complaints would have to be the nausea, loss of appetite and the pain from the peripheral neuropathy, but they are manageable with natural remedies. I am a medical marijuana patient and advocate. The other things that bother me are the fatigue...I just don't have the energy anymore, the dry and itchy skin on my elbows and knees, my cholesterol and triglycerides are out of control, and depression has been a major issue.My depression has not left me sad, crying, locked in a room, but I lost my passion for life. I still have hopes that I will find that what makes me tick again.

Rich

Logged

POSITIVE PEDALERS... We are a group of people living with HIV/AIDS, eliminating stigma through our positive public example.

My major complaints would have to be the nausea, loss of appetite and the pain from the peripheral neuropathy, but they are manageable with natural remedies. I am a medical marijuana patient and advocate. The other things that bother me are the fatigue...I just don't have the energy anymore, the dry and itchy skin on my elbows and knees, my cholesterol and triglycerides are out of control, and depression has been a major issue.My depression has not left me sad, crying, locked in a room, but I lost my passion for life. I still have hopes that I will find that what makes me tick again.

Hello there. My name is Andre and I am a 27 year old heterosexual male living in Canada. I was diagnosed with HIV back in 2006. Since becoming diagnosed, I have made some serious strides in improving my health via positive lifestyle changes. Where once I enjoyed smoking 20 cigarettes a day, weekends and evenings in the pub with friends, and the occasional weekend of hard partying with recreational drug use, now I take pleasure in healthier things. A nice meal, a walk, a hike, cycling, fishing, conversation, going to the movies or to see a play, and a host of other things that don't involve me polluting my body with toxins. I still do like to grab a few pints and watch the game, or enjoy a bottle of wine with dinner but no longer are those the kinds of things I'm doing all the time. That said, I still do enjoy smoking some marijuana from time to time although I have also cut way back on that and am no longer a chronic. I missed my brain as well as being able to properly articulate myself. It's great to have it back!

I'm looking forward to life. Looking forward to all the things I was before being diagnosed although obtaining some of those things might not be as easy as they once were. Marriage, kids, a family of my own, someone to love and grow old with side by side... Ahhh... Travel, new experiences, highs, lows, laughs, I'd say tears too but those are pretty hard to come by. I don't know. Me in a condensed nut shut, probably a sunflower seed.

i have posted a "introduce yourself" bio on LTS's forum, where i gave all my personal info and how i got this bug. but since this is part of the "living with hiv" forum, i will keep this bio focused on what i have been up to since i got refocused, and over my post 1992 bout with depression.

after i lost my fiance and dealt with my grief over the loss of her and my dad for 2 years, i then reached out to an hiv support group in my upstate new york town. it was made up of a real mixed bag of gay males, IDU's, and minorities. but what was really different were the numbers of hetero females who had come up from nyc through halfway houses. many of them went through their treatment programs, then got degrees through area colleges and made roots here in our community.

i met my current wife at this support group as well as a member of ACT UP LA. it was through the encouragement of this man that i began to get involved in aids advocasy work in 1994. i joined the steering committee of my area ryan white network, as well as helped to form what is now our plwa advisory committee. i also joined the community advisory board of my local aids treatment center, and the board of directors of my area ASO. along the way, i was further assisted through self empowerment training provided by the LEADERSHIP TRAINING INSTITUTE ( LTI )funded by the aids institute here in new york.

slowly but surely i began to feel comfortable with the knowledge i had acquired of how the system and aids funding streams worked, to where, for the past 10 years, i participated in legislative office visits for more federal and state funding for adap and aids services, both here in albany & in wash dc.

my wife joined me as we began to do speaking engagements (on behalf of the NAMES PROJECT) at area high schools and colleges and world aids day events. this catipulted me into having my story made public in 2 periodicals, one globally, through being the united states representative of a world aids day publication circulated through the international planned parenthood federation & global aids network entitled "fulfilling fatherhood". these were the personal stories of hiv positive fathers throughout the world in 2005. a similar version of my story was also published by a midwestern college's creative writing class for their world aids day publication.

last year at NAPWA's "staying alive" conference, i participated in the poz magazine sponsored "taking back our dignity-the positive project", where over 50 plwa's did taped interviews for future aids related ads as well as training and educational dvd's. the focus of the interviews was the message "fear the virus, not us".

in december of last year i received from the new york state dept of health a "commissioners distinquished service award" for all the activity stated above.

and finally, in april of this year, my first column was printed by poz magazine called "flags of a father", as well as a few of my viewpoints on the poz "views" website.

if you were to ask me today what i cherish the most from my 22 years of living with hiv, my answer would be four things:

1) MINE & MY WIFE'S CONTINUED HEALTHY EXISTENCE WITH THIS DISEASEAND THE LOVE AND SUPPORT WE HAVE GIVEN EACH OTHER.

2) THE LOVE I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SHARE BETWEEN A FATHER AND HIS SON, AND OF COURSE, MY 4 GRANDCHILDREN.

3) GETTING OUT FROM UNDER THE WEIGHT OF STIGMA I NO LONGER WISH TO SUCCOMB TO WITH THIS DISEASE.

I thought it was about time i started reading and replying to some of the forums here,,lol

Well Im Andy,, Im 38 been Poz since Sept 2005, and im not to bad,, i have a fieasty but friendly attitude towards my life,,tis sometimes upsets people but hey,, i dont mean to and you cant please every one all of the time,, hey,, thats life,,

Well i have a profile, in e-mail and a website so if you get bored,, check it out,, Errrr anything wlse you wanna know ,, drop me a line or 12 and i will get back to you ,, im a bit dizzy when it comes to remembering what sites i have joined,,lol (i should have been born a blonde) lol but i will reply to all, PROMISE,,

Well have fun, stay safe,, and if thats too late,, JUST HAVE MORE FUN.. catch ya all soon i hope,,

My name is George. I am 51 and straight and I live in Vancouver BC. Grew up in Montreal Ultra Orthodox Jewish (the ones with the black hats and side curls) My mother was an Auschwitz survivor and that messed her up. My dad disappeared when I was 1.5 years old and has never been heard from since. My mother could not take care of us so we went through a series of foster homes. I was a tough kid so I survived, and I lioved to read and play sports so that kept me out of trouble. I was however abused as a child.

At 18, I moved to Israel by myself, lived on a Kibbutz. I joined the Israeli Army in the paratroops where I served for 3 years and then worked for several years as a Sky Marshall

I moved back to Canada at age 25 and got into high tech and have worked in that area ever since. In 1986 I went back to Israel for 2 years. My years in Israel were the best of my life.

I was a serious distance runner for over 20 years. In 1999 I started to feel very sluggish when running, and was wiped after an effort. I underwent test after test and doctor after doctor for 6 years. I had what I thought was a really bad flu in 1999 and was tested. My doctor said that there was a weak positive for HIV so they tested again and it was negative so I thought I was negative and that I had CFS. The Doctor should have scheduled another test for 3 months but did not. I was given false diagnoses for several illnesses including chronic fatigue syndrome. In 2005 I started to get serious night sweats, thrush and lost a lot of weight. I knew almost nothing about HIV and did not consider myself at risk. I loooked up the symptoms on the Net and asked my Doctor to give me an HIV test. Bingo. I was calm as I thought, oh, I only got it now, so its bad, but these days people live for many years with HIV. I met with an HIV counsellor and as she talks to me and looks at my medical history, she says that its quite possible that I have had it since 1999. Sure enough, once I did my CD4 and VL it was 94 and over 100,000 respectively. I am at a good clinic in Vancouver and I agreed to be on a Mavirovic study that my Doctor leads and its been quite good. No side effects to date.

I had several girlfriends from 1999 till I was diagnosed, luckily none of them tested positive so that was a huge relief.

I am nearing the 2 year anniversary of being on meds, and a little over 2 years since diagnosis. For the most part, things are ok. Mentally its tough at times, mostly due to the lack of an intimate relationship. My friends are still my friends. I do find that my zest for work has diminished somewhat, some things just dont seem as important.

So, I live my life much like I did before except for the personal realtionships. I cant at this point run like I used to and thats tough, but I hope to be able to at least be consistent.

I feel very thankful to the many people who were the early victims of this disease and who fought for what we have today. It is because of them that I can lead pretty much a normal life.

Hi i never posted here..... but i guess it is good we all introduce ourselves so when new members join us they get to know more about us.. so here i come (if you already know me... you don't need to read this lol)

Well, my name is Juan Carlos (real name) and i live in Latin America, i am 30 years old and have been poz since 13/03/07. I am pretty ok now just few symptoms. I am fighting it all and i think i will get even better. I personally have decided Hiv won't become the main thing in my life, i am much more than that. I speak 5 languages (english, spanish and french = very good; russian and japanese = basic level).

I was studying international business management here but i haven't finish... i decided i will finish it before passing away (so it means i have long time to do it yet!!). I like to dance (very good dancer here), go out with friends and chat, travel, getting to know others and learn about the stories behind them, reading, listening to music and singing (eventhough with the voice i have i know i will never record a cd!!).

I have always been a very sporty type of guy, studied in a military academy i was always used to excercise, then i like running, swimming, all sort of outdoors sports, by the way... green belt in judo and gay. I think i will be here for long time huh? so feel free to private message me i am open to find new friends. Cheers!!

I was pointed in this thread's direction by my new dear friend John(Oso) during a lovely Skype chat the other day. After ploughing through it over the last couple of days (and having still not finished!), I realised that there is so much about the friends I've made through Aidsmeds that I didn't know (prior to actually meeting them) and am still learning about those I still haven't met and am hopefully yet to meet (for example, I didn't know my little guy Jaser plays the drums!).

Plus I just think it makes good sense to have an introductions thread always at the top of the forum.

So, Mr and/or Ms Moderators...if you would be so kind...pretty please with a cherry on top!

Debra

PS: For those with dial-up - apologies - but if you can cope with the porn thread in OT, you can cope with this!

« Last Edit: November 12, 2007, 05:45:03 PM by sweetasmeli »

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/\___/\ /\__/\(=' . '=) (=' . '=)(,,,_ ,,,)/ (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

OK, I can do this. I'll try and be positive since right now my life blows as some of you on here know from my other posts. Hmmm OK

Well my name is Matt. I am from York, SC. I grew up here for 18 years as an advanced student, went to the University of South Carolina. Started as a Music Ed Major but couldnt deal with the politics in the music department, so I switched to History with a minor in the very gay theater. My sophmore year after being black balled from a frat because I was "different" I got invited to be in the Walt Disney World College Program. I spent one semester lifeguarding at Typhoon Lagoon. Then I transfered into Magic Kingdom Entertainment. I did that through college and into 1998. During this time I was SCUBA certified which still is a passion I have. Best dive so far is Costa Rica. Anyway, I work a couple months at Sea World in education, then at Rainforest Cafe taking care of the birds, 17000 gallons of salt water and teaching the education programs. In Orlando (fucking Orlando) I started teaching, in a most unsuccessful year. Then I had a bad car wreck which brought me back to SC. Floundered abit, managed an apartment complex in Charlotte and then taught for 1.5 years in Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools....bad district. Then I moved to Alexandria, VA where I taught got 3 years in Fairfax County Public Schools, decided I missed my parents and moved back to SC. I taught for 3 quarters and realized I didnt miss my parents that much so went back to DC. Decided to teach at a charter school, and thats where my life hit rock bottom, and just keeps going. See the thread Thoughts on My Life, to pick up there.

I have 2 cats Calvin and Hobbes and one pup Suzie. Yeah I like the comic. I read a lot, mostly fantasy, I need to escape this world as much as possible. I love to eat out, unsweetened teah and key lime pie. Oh yeah, love to sleep.

And sexually I am a fiend ahahaha. No but it is fun,,,ok more than fun.

Single since I was 22. And don't see that changing ... ever Oh yeah, Im sarcastic....very sarcastic.....ok beyond sarcastic...its cost me jobs.

I am 37 years old; I grew up in small towns along the South Carolina and Georgia border, mostly South Carolina where I own property. I left home at the age of 15 and have been on my own ever since, continued my high school education traveled the country in the summers with carnivals during my youth, supported myself (kept myself in a good life style), and finally graduated from college with a bachelor's degree in the legal field right after I was diagnosed HIV+. I am a victim to no one or nothing especially HIV, you have to make choices that have consequences and you have to live with those choices and consequences. I have been working for an attorney in central Florida for over eight years. I managed to pay for my education out of pocket and I was lucky enough to have bought personal health insurance years ago which although the meds and the insurance are expensive at around $750/mo with budgeting and cut backs my decision to buy private health insurances has allowed me to maintain my life style as I am an independent person.

I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man, who for the past 5+ years, he is negative. I have been in other long term relationships in the past, where I lived with someone things tended to go sour after the first 3 years or so (in my opinion it was when we became codependent upon one another), I decided that I would have to date someone for a really long time and establish our individual lives as a couple, before I considered living with them. My current boyfriend and I have talked about living together, but I do not think I am ready to coexist and I love having my own space and owning my home. As of right now this relationship works for me, it is healthy and he has treated me better than any man has ever treated me before, even after we found out through me applying for life insurance that I was positive.

I was infected by someone I dated (he did not know his status and took the condom off during sex) in between my ex and my current boyfriend, I tested negative right after the relationship ended and never tested again. I met my current boyfriend thinking that I was in the clear, when we learned of my status needless to say we were floored, but we have managed to pick up the pieces and build a stronger friendship. Like all relationships there are ups and downs, and many compromises that have to be understood and accepted. Anything that I could possibly need or want, it is mine, and I never have to ask for it, love and respect are first and foremost.

I first found support and I am lucky enough to be members of other forums, however I am also very fortunate to have wonderful people here that I care about and count on for support. Any other questions, please feel free to ask, otherwise this is my story. Donnie

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Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. Calvin Coolidge

I'm glad this thread has been bumped. I have been a member here for just shy of 1 year. In fact this month marks the one year anni of my HIV diagnosis. Huh, time sure flies. Anyway, I hardly ever post these days but I do come almost daily to read but I thought that this thread would be a perfect way to get back to it.

I am 35 years old, live in Los Angeles, have two little Yorkie pups and a lovely man to share my life with (10 years and counting). I grew up on the east coast in NYC and Vermont and I went to college outside of Boston.

I attended graduate school at USC and I am currently an analytical scientist for a large biotechnology company and have been for the last 9 years. My area of expertise is cell biology but I am currently moving more toward epidemiology/biostatistics (riveting, I know).

Life is busy – HIV or not – but I have a wonderful group of friends and family that makes a busy life much more manageable. I travel quite often for work and vacation around the US and the EU but I have to say the best time spent is at home. I eat and drink too much and exercise too little probably but I am enjoying myself for now.

I do a fair bit of public education/outreach work with LA’s GLBT center – not as much as I used to but still.

I been poz since probably around 1995 and diagnosed in late November 2001. I'm healthy with good numbers. Been lurking as a guest for a little while, but after seeing a couple of posts that I might have been interested in comment on, I decided to sign up.

I'm partnered (triad, two of us are poz), gay, originally from the US southeast, currently living northwest of Chicago, IL. I like gardening, camping, woodworking, sci-fi, knitting.

My name is Bob and i live in CT. i am a 46 years old. I'd say i am gay but I like Girls too so I guess i am either a straight man who likes guys or a Gay one that likes Girls. but what I am not is bothered by my fickle preferences today. i am happily divorced. I take care of my Dad a bit, hang out a bit, go to a support group and love NYC, computer games and movies of any genre as long as they are good at what they are trying to be. I used to be a lover of Free markets but, then China taught me what you get with unregulated capitolism when they started sending us poisonous food, toothpaste and toys....so now I am a died in the wool income redistributing, socialized medicine loving democrat. I have had the same job 25 years and make a very decent living although my benefits have been cut recently. When you work for a company that goes from a 4 billion to 9 billion dollar venture in 5 years that sure does taste sour when they do that.I have been positive for about a year. I was very sick with sero conversion illness when diagnosed and then spent a bit of time battling depression. lately, i have felt great although I have been drinking a bit the last month and that has some potential to be problematic for me. My labs have been great. I had 1189 T cells my last draw and have had a VL that ranged from undetectable to 2010 the last year. I also was diagnosed with Neuropathy . I guess it's unusual given my labs. Anyone who has it knows it sucks but, dwelling on it serves no purpose. I keep looking for the blood when it feels like I am being stabbed in the palms of my hands and soles of my feet but alas no stigmata...I keep hoping though Today, i am happy, smiling and feel free....same as yesterday

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If someone tells you potential consequences of a behavior it doesn't mean they jude you or mit they may just give a shit about you

Hi all,Peter here been positive now for a year. Dealing with life pretty well. I have surrounded myself with people that love me and that i love. I lived a heterosexual life for 19 years married to a woman and have four grown children that I feel at times I raised myself. Before marriage I did have a relationship with a man that I loved. After I divorced I tried to find him. I was monogamous during my marriage. I discovered that he died two years earlier of aids.I have dealt with bipolar disorder for years and find that it is getting worse. When I became single and my children were grown I had less to keep me focused. Well I was not one to have sex very often even in my new found single life. But in one of my bipolar manic moments I did something stupid. Now here I am.I have a grandchild that is a wonder in my life. I have taken in one of my friends to live with me and be my companion and company. I have moved close to my family. I have had problems in my life and dealing with all of this I lost my car my house and had my share of financial problems due to time in the hospital. I have spent the last three holidays in the hospital for over a month each year. This year I am working on having the best holiday ever. I take all my meds and see my doctors regularly, I have what I consider to be good doctors. I work daily continue to teach. I wanted to return to school and get another degree but this just does not seem to be the time for me. I can not handle it too much stress and fatigue. So I move on and attempt to enjoy each and every day I have. Peter

Well I've already done this in the Poz Womenbut since you guys aren't suppose to be there, I'll give a little intro here.

Hi all, I'm Paulette, I'm 37 with three very beautiful girls 17,15,8 they are my reason for fighting so hard. I was Dx: 11/7/2003 and i can say that's a day i now celebrate, because living with Hiv has taught me a lot of things. To love a little deeper, to stop a smell the flowers, watch a bird fly, and to really change my life. In some sort of crazy way HIV has saved my life. at least giving me a better one. crazy i know, I was infected by husband who knew his status when we got married and just because we had that I'm safe how about you talk(well all i can say he wasn't honest).My bad should have demanded to see his clean bill of health. we were married for 5 years and I'm one of those how dare you do this shit to me types and i can say that i let my anger get the best of me (and sent his ass to prison for infecting me) well I've learned that it didn't make it go away. all that did was send the man i loved to prison. We are divorced now and I've remarried to a man whom i know loves me but something still is missing. He neg and he knows my status and has from day one. I've have forgiving the one who infected me and after being in the forums i somehow have an understanding to why he did it.( i know he loved me and he was afraid of losing me if he told me) one can't turn back the hand of times. so now I try to educate people and I'm very open about my status. I've been drug free for over 3 years now. and I'm loving life now more than every now. I grown over the past four years, funny it took this little virus to make me grow up. Well enough about me, I just want to say thanks for putting somethings in prospective for me guys, and i look forward to reading more of your post.May God Bless Each and Everyone and for ever keep you in his eternal Love.Peace and LovePaulette