Thursday, April 18, 2013

on writing my life history

Today I was in a book store waiting for a friend. I was browsing aimlessly and just randomly picking up books and reading their first sentences. One of those introductions went like this"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all
before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth. In the first place, that stuff bores me..."Catcher in the Rye

I almost laughed out loud since it felt like the universe was just sending my thoughts back at me. I thought "The universe has a sense of humor after all. I'm happy that the universe is not always a sucker for tragedy." My sentiments exactly, I thought, when I read the lines. Both the genre requirements (who cares about the profession of my parents for god's sake. what does it say about me really?) and the contents of my life history bore me to death. For some reason or another I get this feeling, "Uhm, I think I have seen this movie before" Go figure, right? :-) And don't get me started on the pressure to be politically correct and ethically perfect. What a bore. The truth is perfection is death itself. Those tellable things are not what make a difference. What cannot be told according to a blueprintisthe atoms of our particularity. As I was thinking of this I remembered a passage from one of my favorite books, The Little Prince, again, my sentiments, exactly I thought.

"If I have told you these details about the asteroid, and made a note of
its number for you, it is on account of the grown-ups and their ways.
When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you
any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, "What does
his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect
butterflies?" Instead, they demand: "How old is he? How many brothers
has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?"
Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about
him.

If you were to say to the grown-ups: "I saw a beautiful house made of
rosy brick, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof," they
would not be able to get any idea of that house at all. You would have
to say to them: "I saw a house that cost $20,000." Then they would
exclaim: "Oh, what a pretty house that is!"

Just so, you might say to them: "The proof that the little prince
existed is that he was charming, that he laughed, and that he was
looking for a sheep. If anybody wants a sheep, that is a proof that he
exists." And what good would it do to tell them that? They would shrug
their shoulders, and treat you like a child. But if you said to them:
"The planet he came from is Asteroid B-612," then they would be
convinced, and leave you in peace from their questions.

They are like that. One must not hold it against them. Children should always show great forbearance toward grown-up people.

But certainly, for us who understand life, figures are a matter of
indifference. I should have liked to begin this story in the fashion of
the fairy-tales. I should have like to say: "Once upon a time there was a
little prince who lived on a planet that was scarcely any bigger than
himself, and who had need of a sheep . . ."

To those who understand life, that would have given a much greater air of truth to my story."

"How old is she?What is her native language? What is her gender?" empty questions with empty answers, I want to begin my life story like this "I'm very thirsty and bored. Do you have anything to quench my thirst and end my boredom?"

About Me

What can I say, I'm a dreamer. Here is some unnecessary info about me. Here is a riddle for you. Who am I? I’m happily married with a wonderful man who turns my life into a fairy tale. I’m a romantic (as you can tell). Feel free to recommend me romantic movies, poems and novels. I’m from a beautiful city Istanbul, which I miss immensely. I’m a night owl so please approach with caution in the mornings for I might bite (just kidding). I’m pretty clumsy so watch out. I like to sing and dance when I’m home alone. I’m all and none of these things. I like Anime. Well, it’s more than a ‘like’. Actually, I believe that I’m an anime character living in an Anime world—the only thing missing is cherry blossoms in the moonlight. The trees in front of Heavilon Hall (the building I work) should do for now. I like the smell of strawberry jam and oranges. I like looking at beautiful things (the sea and van Gogh paintings are my favorite). I like ice cream, the sound of violin and watching the snow. These are a few of my favorite things (please feel free to sing along this song here). Please write some comments. I’d love to hear about your favorite things and your travails.

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Favorite Quotes

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested. Francis Bacon

Go to foreign countries and you will get to know the good things one possesses at home. Goethe

I am alone here in my own mind. There is no map and there is no road. It is one of a kind just as yours is. Anne Sexton

No master spirit, no determined road; But equally a want of books and men! William Wordsworth

There are more ideas on earth than intellectuals imagine. And these ideas are more active, stronger, more resistant, more passionate than politicians think. We have to be there at the birth of ideas, the bursting outward of their force: not in books expressing them, but in events manifesting this force, in struggles carried on around ideas, for or against them. Ideas do not rule the world. But it is because the world has ideas... that it is not passively ruled by those who are its leaders or those who would like to teach it, once and for all, what it must think. Michel Foucault

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker.

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous, anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not. Vaclav Havel

He who has a why can endure any how. Friedrich Nietzsche

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. Ralph W. Emerson.

No facts are to me sacred, none are profane; I simply experiment, and endless seeker with no past at my back. Ralph W. Emerson

You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star. Friedrich Nietzsche

Ben buradayim ey okuyucu, sen neredesin? Oguz Atay

And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. Friedrich Nietzsche

All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth. Friedrich Nietzsche

What strikes me is the fact that in our society, art has become something which is only related to objects, and not to individuals, or to life. Michel Foucault

Anyone who believes you can't change history has never tried to write his memoirs. David Ben Gurion

Although there may be nothing new under the sun, what is old is new to us and so rich and astonishing that we never tire of it. If we do tire of it, if we lose our curiosity, we have lost something of infinite value, because to a high degree it is curiosity that gives meaning and savour to life. Robertson Davies

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. Albert Einstein

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. Albert Einstein

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. Friedrich Nietzsche

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. Bertrand Russell

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Socrates

America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. Oscar Wilde

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. Umberto Eco

The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates, in Plato, Dialogues, Apology