Quote:If you have enough time to think about these things in class...then you aren't training enough. In a serious school, it could be years before you found out anything personal,

I have not found this to be true at all. My experience has actually been almost completely the exact opposite - people I have met in MA training have been far more open and forthcoming than most others. That sounds like a holdover from traditional MA mindset ie; the instructor as inscrutable 'other'.

Regarding the OP, I agree with Corwin that the MA culture overall is probably not much different than any other. Be yourself - it's better than the alternative.

_________________________"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

I don't know. After all these years training, there's only a select few people I have ever even met up with outside of class. When we're in class, everyone is your brother/sister. We sweat and bleed together for the time allotted for that class and then return to our own personal lives.

We all know (or should) that out of 10 white belts that start maybe 8 or 9 will stick around long enough to get to BB. After that, that same 90% fall out and don't continue to higher levels. When I'm at the school with fellow bb's who've been around and trained with me I do consider brothers and great friends.. but there's only one I consider a friend in the outside world. I mean I've been to his house, have his cell #, have hung out, etc. And the only reason I think that happened is because he became my partner when I bought the school from my instructor. But, I'm not the type that makes friends with everyone I meet anyway so it could just be me. Sorry, I kind of blew this way off topic.

ps Funny afterthought is that that one friend happens to be one of the ones that took his leave of the martial arts. So I ONLY see him outside of MA... So, again, it could just be me.

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There are no PERFECT techniques, only perfect execution for the situation at hand.
~Corwin

Like others have said, the m.a. world is most likely no more or less homophobic than the rest of the world. If you are open about your sexuality in daily life, why would you hide it to those you train with? If they don't like it, tough. Talk to your instructor if it becomes an issue. If he is a problem, ask for your money back and find a place not occupied by the small minded.

harlan, you said:

Quote:If you have enough time to think about these things in class...then you aren't training enough. In a serious school, it could be years before you found out anything personal, meaning....totally irrelevant to training, about others training there.

Different schools train in different ways...who are you to judge the 'seriousness of someones training', based on how much the students get to know each other? As a matter of fact, arts where you sweat the hardest, tend to have more 'downtime' than others: the students find themselves taking water breaks to rehydrate. Conversations naturally emerge during these periods, sometimes about the training, sometimes about outside life. If someone taking their break during work spoke about their personal life, does that mean they aren't 'serious' about their job?

--Chris

Edited by Ames (01/05/0905:28 PM)

_________________________
"Seek not to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought."--Basho

Yes your post did say 'could'. But it let's look at where that 'could' was:

Quote: In a serious school, it could be years before you found out anything personal, meaning....totally irrelevant to training, about others training there.

You used the 'could' in reference to the "serious school", not the other way around.

However, the overall context of your post, and it's opening sentence was:

Quote:If you have enough time to think about these things in class...then you aren't training enough.

That was the part of your post I clearly disagreed with. There is nothing whatsoever in this sentence to suggest conditionality, nor did your following sentences alter that. Your follow up sentence (with the 'could') only stands to reinforce the first statement of your post.

Let me now quote your entire paragraph (so I don't get accused of taking you out of context):

Quote:If you have enough time to think about these things in class...then you aren't training enough. In a serious school, it could be years before you found out anything personal, meaning....totally irrelevant to training, about others training there.

It is obvious to any rational person that there is no conditionality offered to your first statement in any of the sentences that follow. Now, if you would like to correct yourself, that's fine. But do me a favor, and don't accuse me of not being able to read, when your meaning is painfully obvious. Okay?

Quote:you have to troll on down to the Meditation forum and pick fights over semantics?

Look closely at who started in on the semantics please.

Next, I'm not bringing any "baggage" to this thread. I am disagreeing with you. And no, that does not qualify me as "trolling". That means, quite simply, that I don't agree with what you said, or the way you framed it, which I found was somewhat insulting to another member (telling her she isn't training hard enough). You say that I'm the only one reading your post like this, yet right above, you can see that MattJ read it the same way. Your meaning is painfully clear, and, again, if you meant something different, feel free to correct yourself and specifically enlighten us all to what you DID mean.

Lastly, this is the second post you have personally insulted me (first saying I can't read, then calling me a troll). I don't think I need to remind you that personal attacks are not tolerated on this forum, do I?

--Chris

_________________________
"Seek not to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought."--Basho

Quote:If you have enough time to think about these things in class...then you aren't training enough. In a serious school, it could be years before you found out anything personal, meaning....totally irrelevant to training, about others training there.

That's a lot like what my first Dojo was like although my second was a lot less formal. I think it just depends where you go and how large the class is.

This really isn't necessary. As the OP, I want to thank both of you for your constructive and helpful responses to my question. I learned a lot, and my mind is officially eased about the initial topic. So unless anyone has any additional feedback on the topic of closeted Systema practitioners ...?

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"A body at rest can not be stopped!!" - The Tick