Put Your Wallet On A Diet: Tips For Avoiding The Dreaded "Costanzawallet"

Dumb Little Man has some tips for you super Costanzawallet dudes. Deep in your heart you know you don’t want to carry around a wallet this big. Aside from causing you to list to port whenever you sit down, carrying around a complete record of your financial transactions since the mid-80’s is not wise.

We like the tips, but one caveat: Don’t carry condoms in your wallet for long periods of time. Friction will rub tiny holes in the condom and then you’ll end up like Seth Rogen in Knocked Up, except you’ll be way less funny and charming and your life won’t be written by Judd Apatow.

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Roots makes this real great wallet (available thru Hudsons Bay Co.) designed for carrying only plastic. It’s slim, made of real good durable leather. Holds 5 cards on the left pockets, one piece of ID behind a clear window on the right, and has pockets behind the left 5-pack and rightside ID where you can keep folded bills (doesn’t actually have the bill part in the middle). Very compact and doesn’t have space to keep more than a half-week’s worth of reciepts.

@bilge: Sweet zombie Jesus! Lookit the size of the “Regular Wallet” Put one of those in a child’s seat pocket on either side and you’ll never need booster seats for them.

Though the bifold one that site is tryin to sell is a con job. It’s thinner because it’s twice as tall, but the pics try to hide that. So instead of a wallet in the back pocket, you’ll have this half-sticking-out folded thing that just screams “Steal me”. And whoever has 30 cards in their wallet needs to see a financial planner and a shrink.

No matter how thin a wallet I have there is always more stuff I need to carry, school ID, work ID, drivers license, health insurance cards, old pictures, business cards etc etc. We definately need a new system for men to carry their crap, the fanny pack was a step in the right direction but c’mon a ‘fanny’ pack? What were they thinking? Maybe something that looks like a holster would work.

I follow these rules and carry a front pocket wallet. Dopp makes a few of them. Mine has a front clear ID window, slots for a few credit cards and one larger slot for the rest of it (I carry my insurance cards and CTA pass) Works great for me.

Man, and I thought *I* invented the 1-2-2! I’ve been using a Dopp front-pocket wallet since December, after developing serious pains in my lower back. Although my “brick” wasn’t quite of Costanzish proportions, I still needed to make some decisions. The ensuing wallet evisceration left only the following:

The remaining offal (grad student ID, “emergency” credit card, video rental cards, grocery discount cards, etc.) was either thrown away or left in my old wallet and stashed in the glove compartment of my car. I had to really think about what I use on a daily basis (or for that matter, even weekly or monthly – as I was doing this, it struck me that I hadn’t rented a DVD in months, yet I was carrying around cards from 2 different stores every day).

Now I just carry the Dopp, keys, my cell phone, and one of these pens – anything else goes in my briefcase bag (work keys/ID, etc.). I haven’t even used my back pants pockets in months, and my lower back pain was gone in under 2 weeks.

@Thrust: The All-Ett really does work. They are designed to be in a front pocket, not sticking out of your back pocket. The wallet appears thinner not just because it’s bigger (it is) but because the material is so thin.

I use the All-Ett traveler when I’m traveling and it’s amazing how even stuffed with 2 passports, cards and cash it’s not even noticeable.

For everyday I use the All-Ett mini which is closer in size to a “normal” wallet. Fully loaded, this wallet is still thinner than an empty leather wallet.

There’s no scam…it really does work. I looked at other “minimalist” wallets like the Jimi. But like Observer2121, I need to carry more than just 2 credit cards and a $20. The All-Ett holds everything I need in much less space.

ARP and QUAGMERI0 have it right. Carring a wallet in the front pocket as opposed to the back one is For The Win. I like to carry around a lot of things, like 2 credit cards, health ins. and blood donor cards, driver’s license, punch cards from various venders, spare car key, etc. and packing it in the front lets me carry even more, while avoiding all back problems, plus, makeing it more difficult for pickpockts to get to.

Seriously guys, give the front pocket a chance. You’ll like it. Small scraps of paper are the only good use for the back pocket.

I know this Fossil wallet is for women, but as a woman who hates purses, it’s great for the essentials. I’ve been using one for years. There’s a plastic window on the back, and I’ve had as many as ten cards in the snap pocket. The caveat is that you have to fold your bills in the zip pocket, but it holds change, too. It can get bulky if you don’t empty it every once in a while, but it’s great in the front pocket.

The wallet I’ve owned for years doesn’t even have a place for bills. I carry a couple of twenties for whenever I need cash and fold them up to slip in with the cards.

I definitely need to cut down on payment cards (2 debit, 2 credit), but don’t forget some of us need things like a student ID, a library card, and a transit pass, along with staples like a driver’s license. It can add up.

I just use a leather business card holder, and even filled up (5 cards and $21 right now) it’s thinner than my Razr. On a normal day I only carry 2 cards to simplify my life.

To my way of thinking, if the trouble of replacing the card outweighs the trouble of not having it when you need it, it doesn’t travel with me. I mean, seriously, when am I going to need my Paypal debit card in a pinch?

@Gloria: When I was in college we could encode our building access, credit card, debit card, meal plan, library card, and bus pass right onto our student IDs at no charge. I miss those days – that was such a good idea.

Man, am I glad I can carry a purse. When on campus, I’m strictly a tote bag kind of girl, but motherhood has caved me on the purse issue. My actual wallet, though, is nothing more than a leather card case I once got as a gift-with from Levenger. It has a window for the license, and three pockets altogether. Assuming you don’t stretch it out, it’s just the right size for a front pocket.

I’m so glad you guys brought up the Costanzawallet. That’s one of my favorite gags from that series.

I’ve been a front-pocket wallet carrier for years — probably since I first started using wallets. I get the Costanzawallet mostly from stuffing receipts into it. Aside from that, I’ve got a small sample of business cards, my car insurance paper, couple of credit cards (work’s and mine) plus ATM card, my drivers license, my wife’s ID, both our health insurance cards, both our dental insurance cards, one grocery points card, AAA card, AAA arrest bond certificate, my SCUBA card (if I remember, I’m gonna take it out), some token cash, and probably some other stuff I can’t remember off hand (yeah, that’s just the stuff from memory).

I was given a nice Christian Dior leather billfold, oh, back during Ronald Reagan’s second term. I’m still using it. It’s somewhat worn-looking, but not terribly so. It’s been through about five plastic picture-dealies, though. Those things do not last…

The trick is NOT to sweat on your wallet. Playing tennis? Find somewhere to stow that sucker. I have a locker at work. Wallet goes there. I’ve got a shoulder-holster-like thing that the wallet goes in when I’m at the mall or downtown, under my shirt, to confound pickpockets.

In Japan, virtually every department store, no matter how tiny, has it’s own point card that allows you to earn gift certificates after spending a certain amount of money there. At least once a month, they have double points days and at least once a year, triple point days. I don’t see why more American stores don’t do this (without turning it into a credit card with fees), because it really does encourage me to spend more money on those sale days.

Combine this with the fact that every hospital and doctor’s office in Japan requires you to have your own patient card (shinsatsuken), and there’s no way in hell my wallet is losing any weight any time soon.

I carry a couple pieces of plastic and a Metrocard with bills wrapped around it, secured by a medium-sized one of those office clip things. I’ve busted a couple pretty money clips from overuse (or too fat a wad! Probably not) and my current system, which I’ve used for several years now, is hands down superior.

@bohemian:
I think you just pin-pointed the cause of my back/side and hip pains. I never even thought of the wallet being the problem, but now that I think of it, I do feel relieved when I take it out. It’s pretty thin too.

I’m going to try and keep it out of my back pocket as much as possible for the next week and see how I feel. I mean, I shouldn’t be having back issues in my mid-20’s, at least I wouldn’t think I should.

I have to agree with some of the previous posters, the IDs can add up if you’re in government employ or are attending college. My own fossil has lasted me quite a few years without any degradation, but the coin section can get massive if I don’t use change for a week or so.

Thanks for the just one card reminder, I’ve been meaning to make the switch and remove some of those accursed club cards.

I’ve always had luck with just a regular old wallet with a built in coin pouch. Currently I’ve got an El’Cheapo American Tourister brand one on the go. Fairly simple, room for 3-6 cards on the left, and the coin pouch on the right. And under each side is a sleeve for stacked cards or important notes. I put my less-frequently used things in there.

The coin pouch is damn handy too, as it tends to avoid ones change always falling out of your pocket. Plus its got a full-sized area for bills, and its segmented so you can keep recipts sepperate and whatnot. All in all, its only an inch thick with all my stuff in it, and smaller than my hand. Fits well in a front pocket. No back pain for me!

Guys, for the daytime just carry around small messenger bags or backpacks to put your massive wallets in. Many of my friends do it and they don’t have to worry about back problems or exploding wallets. If it’s too formal or business to have a bag, that’s the time for your minimal wallet. For day-to-day stuff I think you’d be alright with a messenger bag, it’s a look you should embrace! But like the Costanzawallet, Jerry’s “european” carryall is to be avoided as well.

Also my boyfriend was so mad when I told him that thing about condoms and wallets early in our relationship…

I too use the binder clip to hold my cards and money. It’s able to handle much more than any money clip I ever had, even though I only keep a few cards, ID, and cash in it. You can get a silver one at work for free. :) Or buy a box for $1.49.

After going through a gazillion leather wallets, some expensive, some not, I finally found the “holy grail” of wallets, DB Clay (check out Google). It is made of gaffer’s tape, well sewn, and seems to hold its shape and wear better than any leather wallet I’ve ever owned. I keep mine in the back pocket and sit on it all the time–no problem. mine is simple black, but because of the material, they have it in all kinds of patterns. Reasonably priced as well.

My husband carries his Costanzawallet in the rear right pocket of his jeans. Within weeks of getting a new pair of jeans he’ll have a worn spot–which soon turns into a hole–on the lower, butt-crack side of that pocket.

I’ve tried to get him to whittle down his wallet, but to no avail. My solution: Before his new jeans are even introduced to the wallet, I get a denim iron-on patch and reinforce the aforementioned area.

I switched over to a money clip years ago (about Sophomore year of college…99?). I used to carry around all sorts of cards, pictures, etc. It was all useless, now all I have is my driver’s license, 2 credit cards, 1 bank card (which I could probably leave at home anyway) and my BJs card (I go there for gas). The only time it’s a problem is when I’m carrying lots of cash and even then you just put the clip around 1 layer of cash instead of the folded half of cash. Also becomes a problem if you’re not carrying enough but my new clip solves that. It has a hinged fatter section that folds down. Plus a clip makes my bulbous @ss look that much smaller! Money clip FTW!!!

@Vicky: Neat, but are you talking about the campus libraries? I have a separate card for the public library system (which incorporates a copy card). My student ID includes most of the things you listed, except for the bus pass (again, totally separate entity).

Â Chris Rock was absolutely hi-larious in Vanity Fair: Day Two Left the comfort of Johannesburg and drove into Soweto. There’s nothing like the poverty I saw in Soweto. Imagine the worst ghetto in America. Now set it on fire.