Thursday, June 20, 2013

Wanna Know a Secret?

I have absolutely NO IDEA what I weigh right now.

I told y'all I was going to avoid the scale while I am mostly unfilled. It was pretty hard in the beginning because I still had my bathroom scale staring me in the face every single morning. Plus the big ol' doctor's scale in the fitness room at work.

Turns out, not weighing yourself is much, much easier when you have no access to scales. Who woulda thunk?

Apparently I work with a bunch of imbeciles who can't be trusted to act like adults, so the fitness center went on lock down shortly after I got my unfill. Only people who sign in to work out are allowed to go in there now, and they check the electronic door logs (you have to swipe your access card to get in), so I couldn't just sneak in to check my weight.

And then the Packing of the Things happened and my bathroom scale went into a box. Which is currently at the bottom of a pile of boxes in the in laws' garage.

No scale for me.

For a while, it was so nice to not think about it. It was so nice to not have to be accountable. But now, things are feeling snugger, and I can tell my body shape is changing in some areas, and I'm starting to wig out a little bit.

I want to know, but I don't want to know, you know? I don't want to step on that scale and find out I've gained a ton of weight back. I expect to have gained back some, since I have no restriction whatsoever, but it terrifies me to think I could step on that scale and see ANYTHING over 250.

I was able to schedule a fill for next Wednesday, so I guess I'll find out then. It's a double-edged sword, though, because a gain will suck personally, but will up my chances of getting a fill. Blargh.

I'm excited to get back in the fill/restriction game, though. Slow and steady, nothing too big. I think I'm going to ask for 1 cc, which I think would only put me in the area of 5 cc total. One bummer, though: when I called and requested Kristina instead of Kim, they told me that Kristina took another job in the office and doesn't do fills anymore. My only option for fills is poke-poke-pokerson Kim. Oh. Dear. Jeebus. Help me now! We did take photos of the "successful" stick from the last time, so hopefully that will help a little bit.

So anyway, that's what's up.

(Oh, and I've had two phone interviews and scheduled an in-person interview for a job! Fingers crossed!)