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If horses didn't regularly pack the earth down with their hooves, it would continue to gradually rise skyward on a collision course with the moon. Help to keep the night sun in the sky with today's Groupon for horseback-riding lessons at Shelby Trails Park Equine Education Center in Simpsonville. Ch…

The sea has much to teach us—its tides foretell the lunar cycle, its salt treats us to delicious shark jerky, and its colorful creatures prove nature looks better in Blu-ray. Celebrate the big salty puddle's sagacity with today's Groupon for delivered fresh lobster and seafood from GetMaineLobster.c…

Hair follicles often become emaciated due to constantly expending energy to retain their vice-like grip on the scalp. Bulk up thinned-out strands with today's Groupon: for $97, you get three months of laser treatments for hair-loss at Midwest Hair Loss Center (a $975 value). Today's Groupon is valid…

Blankets provide warmth at night, security capes for children, and nourishment for roaming hordes of goats. Wrap up in a personalized wonder-covering with today's Groupon: for $64, you get a custom 70"x53" photo blanket (a $129 value, shipping included) from PhotoWeavers, a family-owned textile mill…

Jewelry can make an outfit sparkle, though only exposure to dangerous amounts of radiation can make it truly glow. Stay safe while looking sharp with today's Groupon: for $68, you get $150 worth of designer jewelry at Gross Diamond Co.. This Groupon is good for designer-jewelry items, and it cannot …

Legendary figures are often remembered for their teeth, from George Washington's fabled wooden smile to Mona Lisa's unmistakable overbite. Ensure a memorable grin with today's Groupon: for $2,999, you get a complete Invisalign teeth-straightening treatment at The Kentucky Center for Orthodontics (up…

Without nails, hard-to-reach spots would forever itch and digits would be too delicate to put on finger-puppet renditions of Die Hard. Appreciate your multifunctional features with today's Groupon to Elles Salon in New Albany. Choose from the following options: For $23, you get one mani-pedi (a $46 …

Without caves, prehistoric humans would have had no outlet for their artistic ambitions and very little space to store primitive wines made from saber-toothed grapes. Explore nature's basement with today's Groupon: for $15, you get admission for one vehicle Monday–Thursday to Lights Under Louisville…

Desert dwellers prize the camel for having the endurance to conquer the sands and the eyelashes to conquer their hearts. Stock your beauty reserves with today's Groupon to Lashes Plus. Choose between the following options: For $120, you get a permanent eyeliner application on the upper or lower lid …

A house says a lot about its owner, as evidenced by Galileo's solar-system bed sheets and Lincoln's vast collection of presidential action figures. Take a peek inside the mind of a historic figure with today's Groupon to My Old Kentucky Home State Park in Bardstown. Regular admission fee for seniors…

A dirty carpet is like a guilty conscience—it's always nagging you from the background, and it prevents you from eating off the floor in peace. Expunge lingering crud from your rug with today's Groupon: for $65, you get carpet cleaning and deodorizing for three rooms (a $169.95 value) from So Fresh …

Prior to tanning salons, the only way to achieve a beautiful copper glow was to boil pennies and bathe in the scalding reduction. Achieve a less painful sheen with today's Groupon: for $20, you get 10 credits for tanning at Ultra Tan Louisville (a $42.27 value, including tax), valid at all six locat…

Vegetables are the antizombie, rising out of the ground to demand we devour their artichoke hearts and cauliflower brains. Hunt down some new green friends with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $20 worth of vegan and vegetarian Asian cuisine at Zen Garden. Zen Garden, which LEO Weekly's readers dee…

Like an eccentric uncle, the holidays often sneak up on people and leave tinsel wherever they go. Deck the halls with today's Groupon: for $155, you get a holiday-getaway adventure for four at Santa's Lodge in Santa Claus (up to a $370.59 total value). The getaway package includes the following: One…

Comedy has long been used to subvert the established order, shedding light on modern life's pervasive absurdities and fomenting distrust of potentially seltzer-filled boutonnieres. Avoid a face full of fizz with today's GrouponLive deal: for $20, you get two general-admission tickets to see comedian…

Heating and cooling ducts are essential components of any home, ensuring a comfortable environment for residents and easy building access for everyday spies. Make sneaking around easier with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a home air-duct cleaning for up to eight ducts and one cold-air return from…

Like attaching a fake mustache to a Halloween mask or cleverly changing your name from Obi-Wan Kenobi to Ben Kenobi, adding a new ingredient to something familiar can render it delightfully unrecognizable. Enjoy inventive eats with today's Groupon to Legends Restaurant at Horseshoe Southern Indiana …

Your teeth are your mouth's ambassadors, your ticket to nachos, and the only things keeping your tongue in your head. Toughen your nacho ticket with today's Groupon to Parkside Family Dental. Choose between the following options: For $59, you get a comprehensive cleaning package (a $271 total value)…

Clothing keeps people warm and looking fashionable, but its most important duty is replenishing bellybutton lint. Keep navels stocked with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $40 worth of clothing at Blush Boutique. All customers at Blush receive a complimentary personal styling. The clothing experts …

Most sports grow out of a simple formula—ball plus stick, ball plus kick, or car plus explosion. Obtain the necessary integers with today's Groupon: for $29, you get four weeks of sports instruction for children or adults at Play Sports Louisville, with classes meeting at four locations around the c…

Like an unemployed younger brother, hair can sometimes show up uninvited and refuse to leave. Rid yourself of stray strands with today's Groupon to Hot Locks Salon and Spa. Choose from the following options: For $30, you get one Brazilian wax (a $60 value). For $80, you get three Brazilian waxes (a …

Looking younger often requires standing next to something much older, such as a brontosaur femur or the future. Get a youthful glow without pillaging natural-history museums with today's Groupon: for $65, you get a facial-rejuvenation package from aesthetician Autumn Hess at Express You Salon in New…