Keepin' it Real

Sorry in advance cause my emotions are flowing and I can tell this blog is going to be long! I have a lot I want to address from this episode and am not sure if a blog is the best place, but I’m going to just put it all out there.

It’s important that I address one recurring question right out the door: people keep asking why we all have harsh things to say about one another all the time on the show, and I completely agree because I know it is draining on all of us ladies. However please remember this show is about having an opinion about the others -- good, bad, or ugly. We might all deliver that information differently but at the end of the day, if we choose to be a part of this show we have to have an opinion.

OK, so forgive me in advance for this long rant, but since a lot of you have asked questions about this situation with Alexis I will address all the questions here. First off, no matter what, I am sorry that I hurt Alexis’ feelings because that was never my intention. I will explain my true intentions here. First of all I must say I think Alexis is beyond super sensitive to anything I say or do anymore because of my newfound friendship with Tamra. She claims in this episode that before I was friends with Tamra I would have been a lot more supportive of her, but the truth is Alexis’ own insecurities have caused her to change her thoughts towards me. Before I was friends with Tamra, Alexis wouldn’t have ever questioned my intentions with these kinds of things or be so sensitive. I am confident that I have remained the same person because my past record proves that I have always been honest and straightforward with her and all my friends, even if they won't like what I have to say. It’s just who I am. I refuse to be fake.

Alexis, on the other hand, clearly states this episode that she would have never told me about it if she got offered the job and if they kept calling her. Well this is the main difference between Alexis and me, and why I have pulled away from her. I am not the kind of friend that sugarcoats stuff or is not honest with you. Friends should be able to tell each other anything. As this season unfolds, you will start to see her take heat for being fake and phony and not telling the truth even when necessary at times. If most of us are experiencing this same thing when dealing with Alexis, can we all be wrong? Isn’t that exactly what Alexis said to Vicki when we all addressed Vicki at lunch in San Francisco a few years back?So here’s the real scoop: It’s true that I got offered the same job and wasn’t able to do it because I had too much going on at the time. I would have never felt the need to tell her that except for the awkward situation I found myself in which I will explain in a moment. However for her to challenge that and say I am lying is ridiculous. What good reason would I have to lie about that? I guess I should have brought the e-mails to prove it to her. It’s funny to me that she would accuse me of lying about that when after all she is the one that was lying about being a news anchor!

I wouldn’t bring that up to someone if I didn’t have a good reason to. The harsh truth is that I found myself in an awkward situation because they continued to ask if I still had interest in the job after they had already hired her. They can deny it all they want to Alexis. It makes sense that they would, because why would they burn that bridge in case they couldn’t find anyone else, but unfortunately that is the truth. I felt bad I knew this and wanted to find a nice way to let my friend know because I thought it sucked for her. I knew I needed to be honest with her and was looking for the right time to tell her. I remember feeling this yucky feeling in my gut wondering how do you tell someone you care about something like this without hurting them?

I believed I was being a good friend by not reconsidering taking the job and trying to find a way to kindly tell her what was going on. Unfortunately lesson learned with her and next time I will just blurt it out that they alluded they weren’t happy with her performance at the time, so that way I am not accused of trying to steal her thunder or not being happy for her.

Why is it so hard for some to realize that the people in your life that truly are your friends are going to be honest with you when you need it the most, not tell you what you want to hear. If you want that kind of friend then I am the wrong friend and I’m OK with that. I am not mean unless I need to be, however I am honest and upfront, and I always try to be nice with my delivery, which I sincerely thought I was doing here. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.So Alexis asks me for advice about her Fox 5 segment and as she is loading the computer I thought this would be the perfect time to tell her. I obviously have to find a way to open the conversation about this and so I say, “I’m so glad you got to do this cause they asked me to do it; so I’m glad that out of anyone you are the one that got the gig!”

Now I ask you, how is that statement in any way me portraying I am not happy for her, or attempting to be mean or malicious in telling her that? And moreso, I would think she would rather know that from me than from someone down the grapevine and then question me why I never told her. As the saying goes damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Unfortunately my demeanor does change when Alexis reacted so negatively and pompous back by saying, “Well they offered me my own segment” as if they would have never offered me that, which quite frankly pissed me off knowing what I knew at the time. I quickly realized she took what I said as competition. Then I had Peggy flashbacks! I thought, "Oh boy here we go again." I felt like maybe Peggy was right when she said it’s like she always wants to pick a fight, find fault with what you are saying or make it a competition. That is why I remarked back quickly with, “Yeah, they offered me the same segment and they keep calling me about it.” Now, that was not the way I was intending that information to be delivered and I’m sad it came out that way, but unfortunately it was a natural reaction to someone being snarky and pretentious back to what I knew was good intentions to begin with.

I have been forgiving of these types of responses from her in the past, but this time I just was like, "What the heck?" I knew I was trying to help her but her statement back to me just rubbed me the wrong way. Like I said, I am sorry if she took offense to what I said and maybe I could have found a better way to deliver the information looking back now, but bottom line she should know where my heart is. This is the second time she is questioning our friendship this season and blaming it on my newfound friendship with Tamra, which is bull honkey! To me, it’s her own insecurities coming out. We saw it with Peggy and now she is doing it with me. When Alexis claims she felt like it was hard for me to be happy for her, that really hurt me. I am not and will never be that kind of friend, and thus the reason you see me start to distance myself from her. I am afraid she is becoming delusional and insecure about something that simply is not the case. Does she really think she is that great that now I am suddenly jealous or not happy for any potential success? Wow. If so, she thinks very highly of herself. She continually is questioning me, challenging me, and having unnecessary competition with me and that I will not do with so-called friends. Did she forget I had already passed on doing the gig… no competition here.

If you notice when Alexis asked me for advice I gave her some positive points and then some advice about maybe getting a hosting coach so she could get better at her new venture. If I was really not that happy for her, or not a good friend, then why would I suggest that to her? I would have just taken her job and not offered sound advice. I obviously was giving her pointers I had learned from my three years of experience booking gigs and my own personal hosting classes. If she wanted me to lie and tell her she was perfect then she shouldn’t have asked me for advice because I’m not fake like that.

Now on to other things. I’m so grateful all the girls came to Vegas to support my performance. It meant a lot to me! For a moment, it was a nice change of words to hear Vicki say to my face that she was proud of me for something and not tearing me down for once. Unfortunately it wasn’t authentic because as we see she was still trashing me in her interviews regarding my work ethic, or what I choose to do in my life, so maybe she was only doing it because everyone else was being so supportive in that moment. She even admitted her true intentions by saying, “Be nice -- it confuses them,” which to me just goes to prove that she is very two-faced and is willing to say whatever helps her in that moment. Sad because I just wish it was real with her. I want to like her and get along with her but she makes it so difficult sometimes. Either way, seeing all the girls getting along and having fun is always a nice change of pace.Obviously I was nervous about my performance because I have never done it before. I think anyone in my position would have felt the same anxiousness. I had never had to work with a mic that had a gate on it, which means the second you pull it one milometer away from your mouth it drops your vocals. I had only a couple hours till the performance and there were so many new things to learn that I had never done before. Obviously I was stressed because I could hear my vocals struggling and I was not happy about it. Oh well! I got one shot to do this and I was going to just go for it!

The outfits were to die for, the opportunity was amazing, and I am just so blessed I got a chance to do this! I have always wanted to be a performer in some way, not necessarily singing, but just performing! I light up on stage and enjoy it so much! I know there are a lot of haters out there but I don’t care, it took a lot of gumballs (as the girls said) to even get up there, and I am damn proud of that! I also have just as many supporters rooting me on and I appreciate it so much! It’s hard to put yourself out there every week for the world to have an opinion on everything you do, but this is me, this is my life and I am living it to the fullest. I do not want to be 90 and look back with any regrets because I was afraid or scared about what the bullies would say! I will have stories for a lifetime with everything I am doing and getting to pursue! I have worked very hard for everything I have created in my life and will continue to do so. Which leads me to my next point...

When insecure women like Vicki make comments that I have many jobs but am not a master in one, I just have to laugh. It’s ridiculous to me that two years ago she couldn’t stop saying “no one works but her” (which was BS), but now her motto is “I work too much,” What is it already? She is another delusional one; she actually has attempted to do even more ventures than me. Can you say Vicki Lynn Jeans, Celia eyelash product, distributing robes at one point, her book, Dioxin weight loss product, now Wines by Wives? She is no different than me except some of her ventures have failed and she is all over the map with her projects. On the business side, my goals have been very focused and clear since I have been a part of this show. I have remained in the beauty and fashion spaces and been very successful with The Gretchen Christine Collections. Something apparently Vicki cannot stand so she has to trash it every chance she gets. On a more personal and creative side, I have had two successful songs on iTunes and have a new one being released soon called "Unbreakable" (that I can’t wait for you all to hear!) Because of this, I got an opportunity to perform with Pussycat Dolls in Las Vegas and so I went for it! All these dreams and business ventures have happened because of hard work, and dedication, not because I just sit around and pick my ass. She said I am clawing my way to the top on WWHL the other night. Well I guess I’m flattered that she thinks I am at the top! LOL. I have learned from my parents when you are at the top of your game everyone will try and tear you down! It’s too bad.Tamra having concerns about Brooks is simply being a concerned and good friend. Tamra is like me in the sense that we are not fake. Our delivery might be way different, but we tell it like it is. Vicki unfortunately is once again being a hypocrite in this situation. She is angry with Tamra about voicing concerns regarding Brooks and some red flags she sees, all the while Vicki was very vocal in her opinions in regards to Simon and what he was doing to Tamra. Why is it always OK for Vicki but never for anyone else? Tamra cares enough to be honest and real and I value that in a friend.

I love how supportive Terry is of Heather and her career choices. I am so happy for Heather and her decision to get back to doing what she loves! We all should do that! Slade is the same exact way with me, and I am so fortunate to have such a supportive partner and love in my life.

Most importantly I would like you all to remember to go after your dreams no matter how big or small! Life is too short! Don’t let fear, the bullies in life, or excuses get in the way! Just decide to just go for it! If I allowed all the bullies to keep me from my goals and dreams I wouldn’t be where I am today!

I continue to add new products to my site www.gretchenchristine.com for all the wonderful customers that keep asking for more from my Collections! I enjoy so much talking with each of you every week on Facebook and Twitter and adore and appreciate the fans more than you guys know!

Pussycat Dolls performance next week! I’m scared, but excited! Be sure to tune it to find out what happens! Here's a sneak peek.