North Star {Antique Pearl Hat}

This is the twentieth post in my North Star November series….a soul centered discussion about depression. Each day this month, I’ll be sharing a piece of my soul’s journey, along with a free pattern to thank you for taking part in such an important conversation! Catch up by reading Day 19. Skip forward to Day 21.

Holding Space

I’ve been using the term “holding space” a lot in these daily conversations.

If you’re anything like I used to be, you might be thinking, “What in the world does holding space mean???”

This is sort of a new age term which I didn’t totally understand…until I did. It’s such a simple concept in action, but somehow seems hard to wrap your mind around.

That’s because holding space has nothing to do with the mind.

It’s more of a heart or soul centered approach to the situation at hand. It’s about quieting that chatty, ever present voice and instead giving attention to the here and now. It’s about paying attention to what currently is.

So when you hold space for your feelings, you’re simply bringing your awareness to them.

Holding Space for Feelings

I like to hold space for my feelings by mentally acknowledging them. After a few quiet moments of feeling into my body, the conversation goes something like this:

“Hello guilt. I see you hiding there underneath my breast bone. I feel your anxious presence making my heart beat harder, and my chest feel like a crater. I, however, am still me. You have just dropped by for a quick visit.” Then I turn to myself and ask, “What do you need sweetheart?”

To which my guilt usually responds by feeling acknowledged, quieting down, and maybe even vanishing altogether as if the point had been made. Feelings need only be felt and acknowledged for them to fulfill their purpose and move on.

Comment and tell me…

What might you say to your feelings today? How could you hold space for your feelings today?

{Though I do try to check all comments here on my blog regularly, it is not monitored 24/7. If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help! This suicide hotline is available 24 hours a day to support you: 1-800-273-8255}

Now for a little lace….

Antique Pearl Hat Crochet Pattern

I’m a big fan of lace and pretty things. It’s amazing how a pretty accessory can help to lift your energy and make you feel great! My antique pearl crochet hat pattern is a great accessory for just that.

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Newborn/0-3 Month Hat Pattern

Join in the round by slip stitching into first stitch. Place Stitch Marker (optional).

Round 1: CH1, 2 SC in each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch (10 total sts not including beginning chain)

Round 2: CH1, *2 SC in next stitch, 1 SC in next stitch* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (15 total sts)

Round 3: CH2, *(DC, CH2, DC = 1 V-stitch made) in first stitch, DC in each of next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (30 total sts/5 total V-sts made)

Round 4: CH2, *V-stitch into first CH2 space from last round, 4 DC sts (1 shell stitch made) into space created between the two DC sts from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (5 total V-sts/5 total shell sts made)

Round 5: CH2, *6 DC sts into first CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into space created between the first two DC and second two DC sts of shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (50 total sts/5 total V-sts/5 total shells made)

Round 6: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first three DC and second three DC sts of shell stitch from last round, 7 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (55 total sts/5 total V-sts/5 total shells made)

Round 7: CH2, *8 DC sts into first CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into 4th stitch of next shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (60 total sts/5 total V-sts/5 total shells made)

Round 8: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of Shell stitch from last round, CH1, 8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (70 total sts/5 total V-sts/5 total shells made)

Round 9: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1, V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (70 total sts/5 total V-sts/5 total shells made)

Alternate between repeating Rounds 8&9 until your piece measures approx. 4.75” (12cm) from the crown. End on a repeat of round 9.

Round 10: CH1, *6 SC sts into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1, 8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (80 total sts/10 total shells made)

Secure and weave in all ends.

Baby Hat Pattern

Create a Magic Circle with 6 SC sts in the center

Join in the round by slip stitching into first stitch. Place Stitch Marker (optional).

Round 1: CH1, 2 SC in each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch (12 total sts not including beginning chain)

Round 2: CH1, *2 SC in next stitch, 1 SC in next stitch* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (18 total sts)

Round 3: CH2, *(DC, CH2, DC = 1 V-stitch made) in next stitch, DC in each of next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (36 total sts/6 total V-sts made)

Round 4: CH2, *V-stitch into next CH2 space from last round, 4 DC sts (1 shell stitch made) into space created between the two DC sts from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (6 total V-sts/6 total shell sts made)

Round 5: CH2, *6 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into space created between the first two DC and second two DC sts of shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (60 total sts/6 total V-sts/6 total shells made)

Round 6: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first three DC and second three DC sts of shell stitch from last round, 7 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (66 total sts/6 total V-sts/6 total shells made)

Round 7: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into 4th stitch of next shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (72 total sts/6 total V-sts/6 total shells made)

Round 8: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of Shell stitch from last round, CH1, 8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (84 total sts/6 total V-sts/6 total shells made)

Round 9: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1, V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (84 total sts/6 total V-sts/6 total shells made)

Alternate between repeating Rounds 8&9 until your piece measures approx. 5.5” (14cm) from the crown. End on a repeat of round 8.

Round 10: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1, 6 SC sts into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (96 total sts/12 total shells made)

Secure and weave in all ends.

Toddler/Young Child Hat Pattern

Create a Magic Circle with 7 SC sts in the center

Join in the round by slip stitching into first stitch. Place Stitch Marker (optional).

Round 1: CH1, 2 SC in each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch (14 total sts not including beginning chain)

Round 2: CH1, *2 SC in next stitch, 1 SC in next stitch* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (21 total sts)

Round 3: CH2, *(DC, CH2, DC = 1 V-stitch made) in next stitch, DC in each of next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (42 total sts/7 total V-sts made)

Round 4: CH2, *V-stitch into next CH2 space from last round, 4 DC sts (1 shell stitch made) into space created between the two DC sts from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (7 total V-sts/7 total shell sts made)

Round 5: CH2, *6 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into space created between the first two DC and second two DC sts of shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (70 total sts/7 total V-sts/7 total shells made)

Round 6: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first three DC and second three DC sts of shell stitch from last round, 7 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (77 total sts/7 total V-sts/7 total shells made)

Round 7: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into 4th stitch of next shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (84 total sts/7 total V-sts/7 total shells made)

Round 8: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of Shell stitch from last round, CH1, 8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (98 total sts/7 total V-sts/7 total shells made)

Round 9: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1, V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (98 total sts/7 total V-sts/7 total shells made)

Alternate between repeating Rounds 8&9 until your piece measures approx. 6” (15.25cm) from the crown. End on a repeat of round 9.

Round 10: CH1, *6 SC sts into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1, 8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (112 total sts/14 total shells made)

Secure and weave in all ends.

Older Child/Teen Hat Pattern

Create a Magic Circle with 8 SC sts in the center

Join in the round by slip stitching into first stitch. Place Stitch Marker (optional).

Round 1: CH1, 2 SC in each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch (16 total sts not including beginning chain)

Round 2: CH1, *2 SC in next stitch, 1 SC in next stitch* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (24 total sts)

Round 3: CH2, *(DC, CH2, DC = 1 V-stitch made) in next stitch, DC in each of next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (48 total sts/8 total V-sts made)

Round 4: CH2, *V-stitch into next CH2 space from last round, 4 DC sts (1 shell stitch made) into space created between the two DC sts from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (8 total V-sts/8 total shell sts made)

Round 5: CH2, *6 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into space created between the first two DC and second two DC sts of shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (80 total sts/8 total V-sts/8 total shells made)

Round 6: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first three DC and second three DC sts of shell stitch from last round, 7 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (88 total sts/8 total V-sts/8 total shells made)

Round 7: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into 4th stitch of next shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (96 total sts/8 total V-sts/8 total shells made)

Round 8: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of Shell stitch from last round, CH1, 8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (112 total sts/8 total V-sts/8 total shells made)

Round 9: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1, V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (112 total sts/8 total V-sts/8 total shells made)

Alternate between repeating Rounds 8&9 until your piece measures approx. 6.5” (16.5cm) from the crown. End on a repeat of round 9.

Round 10: CH1, *6 SC sts into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1, 8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (128 total sts/16 total shells made)

Secure and weave in all ends.

Adult Hat Pattern

Create a Magic Circle with 9 SC sts in the center

Join in the round by slip stitching into first stitch. Place Stitch Marker (optional).

Round 1: CH1, 2 SC in each stitch around, slip stitch into first stitch (18 total sts not including beginning chain)

Round 2: CH1, *2 SC in next stitch, 1 SC in next stitch* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (27 total sts)

Round 3: CH2, *(DC, CH2, DC = 1 V-stitch made) in next stitch, DC in each of next two sts* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (54 total sts/9 total V-sts made)

Round 4: CH2, *V-stitch into next CH2 space from last round, 4 DC sts (1 shell stitch made) into space created between the two DC sts from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (9 total V-sts/9 total shell sts made)

Round 5: CH2, *6 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into space created between the first two DC and second two DC sts of shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (90 total sts/9 total V-sts/9 total shells made)

Round 6: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first three DC and second three DC sts of shell stitch from last round, 7 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (99 total sts/9 total V-sts/9 total shells made)

Round 7: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, V-stitch into 4th stitch of next shell stitch from last round* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (108 total sts/9 total V-sts/9 total shells made)

Round 8: CH2, *V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of Shell stitch from last round, CH1, 8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (126 total sts/9 total V-sts/9 total shells made)

Round 9: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1, V-stitch into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1* Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (126 total sts/9 total V-sts/9 total shells made)

Alternate between repeating Rounds 8&9 until your piece measures approx. 7” (17.75cm) from the crown. End on a repeat of round 8.

Round 10: CH2, *8 DC sts into next CH2 space from last round, CH1, 6 SC sts into space created between the first four DC and second four DC sts of shell stitch from last round, CH1, * Repeat around, slip stitch into first stitch (144 total sts/18 total shells made)

You have permission to sell finished products made from this pattern, but please leave a link to my website, www.melodys-makings.com, in your product listing specifying that I am the designer of this pattern. Thank you for supporting me as a work at home mother!

20 Comments On “North Star {Antique Pearl Hat}”

I’m reading “The Book Of Joy”. It is a meeting of the Dali Llama and Archbishop Tutu. They say the same thing about emotions. We shouldn’t bury them,nor fell guilty about our emotions. It is how we respond to them.
I’m glad for your blog. I am reading again and have started to feel a bit of my depression lift.
One of your recommended book I also have started to to read and meditate on, “The Power of Now”
We are one of the billions of people here on this globe, we are all connected . Love and compassion…I no longer feel alone crocheting on my couch.

LOVE this comment! You’re certainly not alone. I’m right there with you along with so many others <3 Glad you're reading again and enjoying The Power of Now! I'm finding reading to help me maintain a more stable mood too...it's really nice. Forgot how much I loved it for a while! Love and hugs coming your way.

Lovely, explanation of “holding space”. I support families in crisis and when they ask me what I do, my response is that I hold a safe space for them. And we figure out together what that is. Thank you for putting more words to my work.

What might you say to your feelings today? How could you hold space for your feelings today?

Having come to realize that feelings are fickle and fleeting, I can come to terms with them much quicker and file them appropriately. They have no permanence and can easily do a 180 in a moments notice. Unlike “joy” that comes from the Lord, “feelings” of happiness are not to be pursued or relished. Feelings are dependent on situations, circumstances, timing . . .. I seek joy which isn’t dependent on “anything” but is a gift from God.

I love this term, “Holding Space.” In my experience it’s also been when someone just lets me be me, without judgement, recrimination or comment even. I have held space for someone I love who hates himself and feels worthless because he is a sexual assault survivor. I just let him be him.. quietly or not, I let him let down his guard, his “masculine facades”so he could express himself fully. I have a friend who does that for me as well. I love your description as well Melody. Feels very safe. Thanks for sharing

I recognize and acknowledge the feeling that to stay home would be safer, more comfortable. Then try to push passed that feeling, and go to the workshop, because I know, in the end, getting out will make me feel better.

I think it’s lovely you’re doing this for depression sufferers. Ive been under it’s spell for all of my adult life. Currently swallowed by post partum depression. When I have caught your posts I have really enjoyed them.

Thanks Katie! I’m really glad to hear you’ve been enjoying them. This month has really been heart touching for me in being able to share this journey that I’m so passionate about. I appreciate your comment.

The “crater” is a perfect description of the feeling I get suddenly, out of nowhere, coupled with a wash of sadness or feeling of loss. It is a physical thing that sometimes has me wondering if something is wrong with my body. It hits hard. I stand there, wondering why this feeling has hit me, usually when my mind is drifting a bit while I go about my work. I’m learning to question the reason for its presence more firmly, trying to decide whether a song or story on the radio triggered it, or maybe a random thought. If I can ferret out the source, I can usually send it away before any damage is done. If I can’t focus my attention on it quickly enough, it can become a raging inferno, possibly ruining my day. This undesired result has made me determined to figure out the source of my bad vibes and negative physical symptoms, examine them, and file them away in the right place–sad memory, garbage (feelings of worthlessness or aloneness, etc.), or maybe feelings o being overwhelmed by all I have on my plate. I’ve also opened up to my hubby, partly due to these posts, and sometimes I score a day as good or bad, depending on how I dealt with it. I’m trying to keep up with your posts; they seem to help with my self-examination/coping skills. Keep up the good work! We all can help each other!

Love this – awareness of triggers and underlying symptoms that may have set our feelings off is huge. When we can recognize how the feelings started, it’s much easier to recognize if they’re real or more of a reflection of how we’ve been feeling. Then yes – we can file them away where needed. Thanks for the awesome comment!

Help! I have tried to make the adult size hat, but it’s just turned into a flat piece, with no sides to it. The size isn’t right either. My piece took 10 rows to be 7 inches. But then there is just one more row to do (the one listed as row 10, which is my row 11). And in order for the hat to fit my head it would have to be around 12 inches, whereas it’s currently about 8 inches, but with no hat shape to it. Please can you help?