Last week’s premieres were pretty lousy, I won’t lie, but this week’s are something else. By something else, I mean astoundingly awful in their own sense.

While we were able to get rid of The Bachelorettelast week, ABC’s now giving us two hours straight of contestants from past seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette in Bachelor in Paradise, which is essentially a reboot of their old summer series Bachelor Pad. ABC, have you no mercy?

Global is debuting Partners on Thursday, which, no, isn’t that CBS sitcom from two years ago brought back from the dead, but rather an FX sitcom Global somehow snagged the rights to despite Rogers/FX Canada’s deal with FX networks. Much like Anger Management, FX’s other strangely out-of-place sitcom that wound up on a major Canadian network opposed to FX Canada, FX has ordered 10 episodes of Partners, and if it does well over the first 10 episodes then the show gets an additional whopping 90 episode order.
The move is as genius as it sounds. Anger Management’s last new episode on May 29th pulled in just about half a million viewers, down from nearly the 5.47 million who tuned into the premiere. FX also had Fox air four episodes to boost ratings last summer and the numbers are still brutal. On the bright side, there are only 27 more episodes to go.

Friday brings us the “deeply offensive” Jonah From Tonga on HBO Canada. The series caused a huge uproar earlier this year as the star Chris Lilley, who is 40 years old and white, plays a 14-year old boy in “brownface.” Now I think I know why The Knick made Bell Media’s “The Month Ahead” calendar, while this was suspiciously missing.

Show

Episode Title

Day and Time

Networks

Bachelor in Paradise

—

Monday 8 p.m.

City/ABC

King of Cones

Sundae Funday

Monday 10 p.m.

Food Network

Partners

They Come Together

Thursday 8 p.m.

Global

Jonah From Tonga

Episode 1

Friday 10 p.m.

HBO Canada

The Knick

Method and Madness

Friday 11 p.m.

HBO Canada

Season/series finales:

This week PBS is finished trolling you with My Wild Affair and Sex in the Wild, which are nature shows far less provocative than their titles suggest. TLC also says adios to Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta and Buddy’s Bakery Rescue, and Global’s Rookie Blueends the first half of its fifth season on Wednesday.

Show

Episode Title

Day and Time

Networks

Last Tango in Halifax

—

Sunday 8 p.m.

PBS

Halt and Catch Fire

1984

Sunday 10 p.m.

AMC

Vicious

—

Sunday 10:30 p.m.

PBS

Longmire

Ashes to Ashes

Monday 10 p.m.

A&E

Buddy’s Bakery Rescue

Prince Street Cafe & Bakery

Tuesday 10 p.m.

TLC

Deadliest Catch

You’ll Know My Name Is the Lord

Tuesday 10 p.m.

Discovery

My Wild Affair

The Seal Who Came Home

Wednesday 9 p.m.

PBS

Rookie Blue

Everlasting

Wednesday 9 p.m.

Global

Sex In The Wild

Dolphins

Wednesday 10 p.m.

PBS

Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta

Times Are Changing

Friday 9:30 p.m.

TLC

Others:

Hall of Fame Game: Buffalo Bills vs. New York GiantsSunday 8 p.m.
NBC

Better enjoy the Bills while they last Buffalo. Toronto and Bon Jovi are bound to swipe them when you’re not looking.

CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night To RockTuesday 8 p.m.
ABC

Quick: Name all the country artists you regularly listen to. Can’t think of a single one? Well, this special probably isn’t for you.

Cesar Millan: Love My Pit BullThursday 8 p.m.
Nat Geo Wild

In this one hour special, Cesar Millan tries to convince you pit bulls are not terrifying. To that I say, lies, all lies.

FIFA U-20 World CupFriday 8 p.m.
CBC

Who says the World Cup is over? Cheer on the Canadian women’s soccer team as they take on Finland for the cup.

Ghost Planes & the Mysteries of Flight 370Saturday 9 p.m.
History

I hope they’ll be able to explain to me what happened to Oceanic Flight 815 cause all these years later I still wouldn’t even be able to tell you.