I'm very honest.Proabably too honest for my own good actually, so if you don't want anhonest answer, don't ask. I'm working on discretion being the betterpart of valor with some answers now, but it's an ongoing process. I'malso a problem solver / advice giver to a unhealthy degree, so I've hadproblems in the past with people telling me their problems and megiving them advice that they really didn't want. So I've also beenlearning sometimes people just want somebody to JUST listen.

And today I see this from somebody I didn't listen to in the past.

P L E A S E L I S T E N-- Leo Buscaglia

When I ask you to listen to meAnd you start giving me advice,You have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to meAnd you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way;You are trampling on my feelings.When I ask you to listen to meAnd you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,You have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen!

All I asked was that you listen, Not to talk or do… just hear me.Advice is cheap: 25 cents will get you both Dear Abby And Billy Graham in the same newspaper. And I can do for myself. I'm not helpless.Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to doFor myself, you contribute to my fear, inadequacy and dependency.

But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel What I feel, no matter how irrational,Then I can quit trying to convince you,And I can get about the business of understandingWhat's behind this irrational feeling.And when that's clear, the answers are obvious,And I don't need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense, when we understand What's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people,Because God is mute, and he/she doesn't give advice or Try to fix things. "They" just listen and let you work it out for yourself. So please listen, and just hear me. And, if you want to talk,Wait a minute for your turn, And I'll listen to you.

Personally, when I have a problem and I talk to somebody about it, it's because I want an opinion on what I should do. I'm not going to hang my dirty laundry out just so people can see it, nod, and say emphatically, "Yes. I understand. I had dirty laundry of my own, once. *hugs*" That irritates me because it always rings false. The only place I actually do my woe-is-me whining is in my livejournal - lucky you!