TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ? Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!

Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!

Mother:What did you learn in school today? Son: Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow! Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing? Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

"I will do anything to pass" A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything." His voice softens. "Anything??" "Absolutely anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"