WRITER

Rope-A-Dope

In recent days I’ve spent virtually all of my free time working on my newest idea, which is to open a knot tying school.

Sure, sounds great to you, but you probably weren’t thinking through all the potential problems. For example, I’m not that great at tying knots. Surprised? It’s so funny how people like you always take me for a master knotsman, just by the way I carry myself when I’m ambling across the dappled town green, clad in the finest of linen and fingering a length of polyester cord, my cell phone to my ear as I make a dinner reservation at the finest of knot-tying restaurants (which carries Belgian ales on tap), while waving to the town’s selectmen on the other side of the green.

The rope is just a ruse! But that doesn’t mean I can’t open a school. I see the need (who can tie knots anymore?), and I can hire talent to teach people what they need to know.