Processing Parenting, Perceptions, Paradox and Also Things That Don't Begin With "P"

7/21/2005

fearless

Okay. So I'm 29 weeks pregnant, right? And my significant and I are sitting in front of our very jolly midwife and he keeps saying things like, "So my concern is going to be..." and all manner of husbandly phrases. At one point I thought it and then blurted it out, "His job is to be concerned, my job is to be FEARLESS." I think she must've chuckled, but I was having a major epiphany.
Today the reality of what I chose to say is taking root. My job is to be fearless.
I am confident in my body's ability to birth this little Mr. Frogpants and whether I choose home or a hospital, its a no-control-anything-goes situation. Some say we are absolutely mad to labor as long as we can at home. I've found myself saying things to people like, "I'm really phobic of hospitals." Which just isn't true. I'm not phobic! I'm trying to make loved ones feel better about my choice. Isn't it funny what one says when one is accustomed to accomodating others feelings before considering one's own?
Today I've not told one soul that I am phobic of hospitals. Because I'm not. I'm fearless. Ha!