An ongoing journey through substance abuse and eating disorders.

Category: Opiates

Last night was pretty bad. I’m in better shape today, thankfully. This morning, I came across this article in the NY Times. It’s about a variety ways that recovery from addiction, specifically opioid addiction, can look. The following paragraph jumped out at me: Moreover, many of those who recover do it through professional treatment with […]

So, I had an EDA friend help me do up a meal plan on Sunday. I’ve been eating (mostly) to that since the beginning of the week (only purged once). I also have an appointment with a Buddhist nutritionist/dietitian on the 6th. Today, my head was spinning so badly that I was planning on stealing […]

I have basically been batshit crazy for at least the last month. That madness was relieved today when I moved out of the shit show that was the Sober Housing Oregon home I’ve been in since my March relapse, to live in a private home with two very good friends from Refuge Recovery. That house […]

I just went all in at WalMart… celery, carrots, broccoli, Skinny Girl dressing (for dip), Crystal Light, 100 calorie tins of tuna, etc. My big disorder driven purchase was a new digital kitchen scale (I wound up abandoning my old one when I was swiftly removed from my old sober house). Actually, there was a […]

I don’t really talk about it much here but, despite my drug addiction and eating disorder, I actually have a full time job. How else could I afford my drug habit? I don’t know how many $k’s I spent on the dark web this summer. I’m only thinking about it because I’m working right now. […]

I’ve texted with, but haven’t seen nor spoken with N all day. This should not be a big deal but, with my shit, it is. I’m trying to get down how I feel about this. And why. Even though I’ve been in therapy for close to a decade, it’s only been in the last couple […]

Yesterday was awful. It was 29 days since I last shot up and I was totally consumed by the thought of using. Basically, whenever I wasn’t working, I was completely focused on how I might go about getting drugs. I discovered where to go in Salt Lake City to cop dope (Pioneer Park or outside […]