Arrr! See CONTENTS for links to the 125 chapters of The Monstaville Memoirs plus introductions, conclusions, postscripts and appendices. This treasure trove also includes a collection of articles offering further insights into the themes explored in the trilogy. Namely, managing suffering and conflict (dealing with hostile people if you are nervous, sensitive or shy) and learning not to react

A sannyasin says: “I've got piles. I
want to die sometimes...Sometimes I'm so high and singing, and all of a sudden,
zoom! I would welcome death.”

[I have omitted the beginning of
Osho’s reply]

“Somebody is dying and goes on
clinging to life, does not want to die. Somebody is alive and wants to die.
That is non-acceptance. Accept whatsoever is there, and once you accept
unconditionally, then everything is beautiful. Even pain has a purifying effect.
Even piles are divine. So whatsoever comes on your way, just be thankful. God
knows better and if He gives piles, perfectly okay! One has to be thankful. One
has to live through all sorts of experiences - pleasant and painful, sweet and
bitter.

[Osho said that to be swinging from
one pole to another - from highs to lows - simply indicated an aliveness, and
that both experiences were 'gifts from the same hand'. He said that if one held
back from unpleasant or negative experiences, one could not be fully into the
positive].

But we have been taught to choose -
to choose between the two - so our minds are completely poisoned. We go on
choosing, while life is a choiceless thing. It does not depend on your choice -
it simply goes on happening. Whether you choose or not, you create your choice
by your own miseries - which are unnecessary. One should simply be ready to
accept whatsoever comes - sometimes the enemy, sometimes the friend. Both are
your guests and both have to be respected. From this very moment start
respecting your piles and they will disappear sooner or later. Respect and
treat them as friends, as guests, not enemies. Just drop that concept of
fighting with them. That antagonism has to be dropped.

Pain
is there, I know. Suffering is there, I know. Suffer, and just accept. Don't
ask for death. When it comes, it comes. One should simply go on enjoying
whatsoever comes on the way. Non-asking will give you a state of non-desire.
Not complaining will make you more contented. This moment is all. Never go
beyond this moment, but whatsoever happens, be true to it. Be authentic to it.
With the body, with age, many illnesses enter. They are natural. They can be
very great opportunities to grow - and they are meant for that. They are not
purposeless...nothing is. The purpose is that you can accept the pain also. One
who can accept pain becomes incapable of being unhappy.

To
be happy is not much. It is happening - sometimes you become happy; everybody
sometimes feels happy. But to become incapable of unhappiness...that is the
goal of all spiritual effort. And this comes through understanding - that you
accept pain also with no complaint. Just see the point: if there is no
complaint, the pain is not like pain; almost ninety percent of it has
disappeared. It was your interpretation. By and by a distance comes between you
and the pain. It goes far away.

One
Mohammedan mystic, Abraham, used to pray to God every day, saying, 'I don't ask
for pleasures and I don't ask for happiness, but always give me a little pain.
Always continue to give me a few gifts of suffering.' He was staying with
another mystic, and the friend heard Abraham praying. He said 'What nonsense
are you asking? You know God is compassionate' - Mohammedans call God, Rahim -
and He is so compassionate, that if you ask He will give! What are you asking?'
Abraham said, 'Because I came to God through my pain, through my suffering, and
because when I am happy I tend to forget Him, I ask for a little pain. When I
am in pain I remember God. When I am happy, I tend to forget.' He was saying a
great spiritual truth.

No
need to even ask, I say to you. If Abraham had been here, I would have told
him, no need to ask. Because whatsoever you ask - even if you ask for suffering
- you are asking for something pleasurable. Maybe in suffering you remember God
and that's your pleasure. So man cannot ask for suffering. Whatsoever he asks,
even if he asks for suffering, his innermost desire will be of pleasure. So
even if you ask for death, you are asking for a better life. You say this life
is worthless, these piles and this age, and the body is becoming old so now
take it away. You are simply saying that you would like those things not to be
there or that you don't want to be with these things. But either way you are showing
a discontent. Just accept that whatsoever is, is, and by and by you will see
things are changing. A very subtle change happens.

Once
you have become capable of accepting pain as a guest, you become incapable of
pain. Pain comes but it cannot be painful to you. It comes, but somehow it
misses the mark. It does not hit you hard - it cannot - because by and by you
become unavailable to it. You rise higher and higher. It moves around but
cannot penetrate to the centre and a distance arises. So this is what I would
like to say to you - just accept it and then see what happens.”

Retrospective
inserts.

Listen to your pain and allow it to
wash over you. Be silent. Don’t run away from it. Ask why it is here and listen
very calmly and quietly to your angst, your pain and sorrow. Don’t medicate it
out of existence or try to silence it because it’s got an amazing story to tell
you. Suffering has much to teach us.

The person who has murdered their
masculine side or the feminine side of their own selfhood - well, how do you
think they’re going to operate outside? How do you think they’re going to
relate to everyone else? Out of that comes masochism - just a fancy word for
cruelty, sadism to the self. This violence to the self must end if there’s ever
going to be change in the world. You must observe it not in others but ion
yourself. How do you censor yourself. (I don’t know who said all this - Slavoj
Zizek? - but I have added a note: ‘But he doesn’t believe in self-development
systems. He says it is just sadism to the self, allowing more authorities to
control us’).

“The simple act of caring is
heroic.” - Edward Albert.

Repression: forgetting something and
then forgetting that you forgot about it. Hiding all the film you don’t want to
deal with, to see in your unconscious, so it becomes your shadow side. The
skeletons in the closet. The dumpster. We need it to survive. For you to be
integrated, you’re going to need to integrate your shadow because those are
aspects of yourself that you’ve thrown away and they’re preventing you from
getting to the light. (Notes from a book, but didn’t note which one).

“Man's task is to become conscious
of the contents that press upward from the unconscious.” - Carl Jung.

“There is no coming to consciousness
without pain.” - Carl Jung.

“The ego says, ‘I shouldn't have to
suffer,’ and that thought makes you suffer much more. It is a distortion of the
truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth is that you need to say yes to
suffering before you can transcend it..." - Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth).

Various spirits are present in our
lives, some very close to us. While I have seldom seen them, I feel them around
me practically every day. I have therefore felt obliged to set my attitude
towards this truth for when I am indulging in sexual activity in particular.
Like: rather than deny the spirits existence or be so acutely embarrassed that
I feel a need to dismiss them or push them away, or hide from them, or
whatever, it is, for me, simply a matter of adjusting one’s perception. They withdraw
during such times anyway (no doubt more carnal, negative spirits tend to draw
closer too!). I just have to remind myself occasionally that I don’t care and,
if I feel that I might be bothered by the situation, I just push myself
slightly to actively not care and then the feeling itself follows. It is a
conscious choice, a small coping strategy, a decisive stance. I am in a certain
‘position’ and I accept the reality, the truth, even though I am by no means
perfect and understand that my activities are not, at the time, spiritually
motivated nor bringing me closer to realising my divine self. It is more like
throwing oneself into the realm of illusion with wild abandon and escaping from
the whole dichotomy of being a spirit in an animal body waiting for an
awakening from the limited ego self...when all the ingredients have been
added...love, patience, strength, wisdom, self-esteem, purpose and
determination, as well as will and faith.

“So, I’ve
seen through the darkest places on the planet. I know what it’s like to hurt. I
know what it’s like to bleed. I know what it’s like to cry out in the middle of
the night…We go through the worst so that we can become our best.” – Dreaming
Bear (on the Bridging Heaven and Earth
Show, No.237, www.heaventoearth.com).

Transformation, as a friend reminded
me recently, can come suddenly after months or even years of nothing appearing
to shift in the right direction no matter what one does to attain one’s goal -
like the light that appears at the end of a long dark tunnel and the butterfly
that suddenly emerges from its chrysalis state. Similarly, by accepting and
enduring the pain that our circumstances might be causing, we do not allow
ourselves to yield to negative thought. By remaining positive, it is just a
matter of time before the results we want arrive. I am struggling to learn this
but it is worth mentioning here.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the
storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Unknown.

"A tree is best measured when
it is down - and so it is with people." - Carl Sandburg (Lincoln in the War Years).

The
Great Wall Of China,
written and directed by Nic Young for Discovery Channel (October 2007), is an
epic docu-drama which tells the story of how the largest man-made structure in
the world was built. The great General Qi Jiguang “was inspired to protect his
nation after the Mongols had invaded and reached the Forbidden City...Built
with the blood and sweat of millions of its citizens, Qi created a structure
3000 miles long, using 100 million tons of earth, 15 billion bricks and
countless lives, that stretched all the way from the vast Gobi Desert in the
West, to the roaring coast in the East.” The achievement was made in spite of
Emperor’s meanness and impossible demands. In 1583, Qi Jiguang was dismissed
unfairly, relieved of his duty on the northern frontier. Despite his dedication
to the biggest construction project in history, he was suspected of sabotage or
something if I remember correctly. He received regular visits from the
Emperor’s eunuch secret police who would sometimes ask him if he resented the
Emperor after he had once enjoyed such a privileged position. “Rain, wind,
frost, dew,” he replied, “they all just teach you to be a better man.”

“How about
the circumstances of your life? Do you accept personal responsibility for
everything you don’t like: the car accident, getting laid off from work, the
leaky roof, the row with your mate, or the lack of a mate? You create every
minute event from one level or another of your being, and the contents of your
mental and emotional bodies plays a very large part, whether you know it or
not. There are no random elements in the universe. At some level, be it Spirit
or personality, you create every second of your life. If the universe didn’t
work like that, it would mean either that people could put their stuff in your
fields without your permission, or that things were happening to you that
weren’t in resonance with your field. Let me assure you that the universe
doesn’t work like that.

Now I’m not saying that you
consciously want everything that’s in your life, but just that you brought it
in and put it there, so some part of you wanted it at some time. Maybe you took
on imprinting that said that life’s a hard taskmaster. If so, you would have a
series of demanding jobs in order to prove yourself right, and that may have
been appropriate at some point in your life. You create your own reality
because the universe faithfully rearranges itself in order to manifest your
blueprints. Your life is a perfect mirror of the blueprints you created from
your beliefs. The reality you experience today reflects your reality picture.
If you stop and think about it, it has to be that way – otherwise the universe
would be random.”

“Sit now
for a moment and call your guides and the Angelic Kingdom to surround you,
speak with them and say that you are ready to accept yourself as they see you
and allow the vibration of light that they view you as to infuse and awaken
within your being. This can be very powerful, allow yourself the time and space
to experience it fully.

The
main obstacle that will hold you back is fear; this is something that the
Creator is asking all on the Earth to face up to now. It is time to conquer
your fears and to move into enlightenment. Remember that fear is not true. For
every fear you have or create you can create a positive energy, siltation or
experience in your mind. You can then look at them side by side and choose
which you wish to energise and manifest. It is this process that allows you to
conquer your fears and to move into moments of enlightenment, accepting and
experiencing the truth and love of the Creator.

If
you wish you can adopt this focus into your reality, let yourself notice how it
changes your outlook and the reality you experience.

I am always
hear to love and protect you, if you wish to go forward and accept the challenge
of conquering your fears then call upon me to assist, guide and protect you at
all times.

“I want
people to understand that everything that you’ve lived in your life, every
experience you’ve had, is awesome. It doesn’t matter what it is because it’s
led you to this moment. But you have to begin to understand how those
experiences work and then, when you appreciate them, you actually transform
them.” – Sonia Barrett (a lecture at KRST Unity in Los Angeles. From a YouTube
video posted by sovereignmindradio on 31 May 2008).

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Important topic

Did you know that this is the 12th and lowest universe in our multiverse and that it is founded on the energies of fear and suffering which were not resolved in the 11th?

Karma & Emotions

This e-book explores the opportunity for releasing deep emotional blockages from the past that crisis presents and the notion that this process of self-healing is an essential aspect of spiritual ascension (click the picture for more info & free pdf download)

What is, is; how we react is up to us!

"Life is 10 percent of what you make it and 90 percent of how you take it." - Irving Berlin.

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Visit my website: Antraeus.com

About Me

Born on 25 November 1965 and currently living in Yorkshire, England. I write songs and books and have a website that serves as a platform for my work as well as being an Ascension resource. The Treasure Chest displays all chapters of The Monstaville Memoirs trilogy as well as further insights from various sources relating to the themes of these books. The Powerlessness of Now reveals the many ways in which we have given our power away to the Establishment through its web of control.

“Someone asked, ‘Why is there suffering?’ [Meher] Baba gave this succinct reply: ‘Suffering is essential for the elimination of the ego, just as it was necessary for you to scrub and scrub in order to wash the stain from my coat.’" - Unkown.

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“Strong souls aren't just born. They are built by forging through the most challenging perils in life and still having the ability to shine.“ – Anon.

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"Pain is inevitable...but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy." – Tim Hansel.

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“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”- Joseph Campbell.