CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #512

I've long believed that my vanity cards should not just be used for light entertainment. Every once in awhile a card should be written that aspires to make life better for everyone who takes the time to read it. This is one of those cards. After years of struggle, I've finally figured out how to eat cookies in bed without getting crumbs all over the place. The trick is to break the cookies into small bite-sized pieces while still in the box or bag, then, and only then, pop the pieces into your mouth. Get it? There are no crumbs because the cookies are never bitten, they're only chewed. Of course, there is some downside risk. Whenever you bring an entire box or bag of cookies into bed, there is a strong likelihood that you will eat every cookie in the box or bag. This means that your bed, while crumb free, will be filled with regret. Not to worry. In a future vanity card I will explain how to handle regret. Like cookies, it involves breaking it into bite-sized pieces.