"I Love Waking Up with You": Watching the Disgusting Spectacle of MTV's The City

It's official: The honeymoon on The City, if there ever was one, is over. The cast, obliged by MTV to party, work, and live together, obviously dislike one another, and they're all making it extremely apparent; for this alone, I'd like to extend my gratitude. Adam and Jay's bachelor quarters have been infiltrated by Allie, who has now clocked four solid months in the duo's apartment. Jay, the former model/Tara Reid-ex/aspiring rock star Whitney-dater, is growing impatient. Adam, not so much: "I love waking up with you every day," he tells his alien girlfriend.

"All of them, except for you"

Jay's hostility toward Allie isn't as much about the confined living arrangement as it is about his ever more likely fear that her stay is permanent. This would mean exile for Jay. But a guy this "hot" can't possibly end up homeless, unless he'd like to take the "I live in a van" musical route to success, and his voluminous hair probably isn't made to handle that sort of beating. So since The City has been renewed for another season (groan), Jay is now officially shacking up with Whitney.

Now we must dive into Erin's melodrama ever so slightly. For the entire season Erin, like us, has been continuously "confused" about her long distance relationship with Duncan (the Canadian hipster). Reconnecting with her first love, J.R. (the frat boy) isn't helping the already puzzled ditz. So Duncan suggests that she "think" about things, and for Erin this translates into "I'm single."

"The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one," Erin declares as they head out for a New Year's Eve celebration. Pathetically, though, this exuberance fizzles at the strike of midnight when everyone else is smooching away, and she's left waiting for a text from Duncan. "I'm sure he'll text you in ten minutes," Jay assures her. The text never comes, and the trail of tears begins.

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More roommate squabbles: Olivia and Nevan are at the breaking point, despite their familial ties. Blood does not trump being unemployed, disgusting, and messy, apparently. "Drink some water, you look a little hung over," she tells him as she hands him a folder of available apartments. I commend Olivia's bitchy assertiveness.