Family and Social Life in the Cities

Contemporary urban family and social life in South Korea at the start
of the 1990s exhibits a number of departures from traditional family and
kinship institutions. One example is the tendency for complex kinship
and family structures to weaken or break down and be replaced by
structurally simpler twogeneration , nuclear families. Another closely
related trend is the movement toward equality in family relations and
the resulting improvement in the status of women. Thirdly, there is a
movement away from lineage- and neighborhood-based social relations
toward functionally based relations. People in the cities no longer work
among their relatives or neighbors in the fields or on fishing boats,
but among unrelated people in factories, shops and offices. Finally,
there is an increasing tendency for an individual's location and
personal associations to be transitory and temporary rather than
permanent and lifelong, although the importance of school ties is
pivotal. There is greater physical mobility as improved transportation
facilities, superhighways, and rapid express trains make it possible to
travel between cities in a few hours. Subsidiary transportation networks
have broken down barriers between onceisolated villages and the urban
areas. Mobility in human relations also is
becoming more apparent as people change their residences more
frequently, often because of employment, and an increasing proportion of
the urban population lives in large, impersonal apartment complexes.

Matchmaking was a big business in Seoul and other cities in
contemporary society; coffee shops and lounges often were crowded on
weekends. In a change from traditional society, prospective brides and
grooms held scores of interviews, son pogi, before deciding on
the companion they would like to date-for- marriage. Many of these young
men and women changed their minds after these dates and the process
began again. Yonae, or "love match" marriages
occurred with increasing frequency.

Contrary to the Confucian ideal, the nuclear family consisting of a
husband, wife, and children is becoming predominant in contemporary
South Korea. It differs from the traditional "branch family"
or "little house" (chagunjip) for two reasons: the
conjugal relationship between husband and wife tends to take precedence
over the relationship between the son and his parents, and the nuclear
family unit is becoming increasingly independent, both economically and
psychologically, of larger kinship groups. These developments have led
to greater equality among the family units established by the eldest and
younger sons. Whereas the isolated nuclear family was perceived in the
past as a sign of poverty and misfortune, the contemporary nuclear
family is often viewed as being a conscious choice made by those who do
not wish their privacy invaded by intrusive relatives.

Economic relations between the generations of a single family changed
radically in the transition from traditional rural to modern urban
society. In the past, the male head of the patrilineal family controlled
all the property, usually in the form of land, and was generally the
sole provider of economic support. With the development of modern
industry and services, however, each adult generation and nuclear family
unit has become more or less economically independent, although sons
might depend upon their parents or even their wife's parents for
occasional economic assistance--for example, in purchasing a house.
Because urban families usually live apart from their paternal in-laws,
even when the householder is the eldest son, the wife no longer has to
endure the domination of her mother-in-law and sister-in- law. In many
cases, the family is closer to the wife's parents than to the husband's.
The modern husband and wife often are closer emotionally than in the old
family system. They spend more time together and even go out socially, a
formerly unheard-of practice. Yet the expectation still remains that
elderly parents will live with one of their children, preferably a son,
rather than on their own or in nursing homes. This expectation could
change in the last decade of the century, however, with the expansion of
health care and social welfare facilities.

Outside the nuclear family, blood relationships still are important,
particularly among close relatives, such as members of the same tangnae,
or mourning group. Relations with more distant relatives, such as
members of the same lineage, tend to be weak, especially if the lineage
has its roots in a distant rural village, as most do. Ancestor rites are
practiced in urban homes, although for fewer generations than formerly:
the majority of urban dwellers seem to conduct rites only in honor of
the father and mother of the family head. As a result, there are many
fewer ancestors to venerate and far fewer occasions to hold the
household ceremonies. In some ways, however, increased geographical
mobility has helped to preserve family solidarity. During New Year's,
Hansik (Cold Food Day in mid-April), and Ch'usok (the Autumn Harvest
Festival in mid-September), the airplanes, trains, and highways in the
late 1980s were jammed with people traveling to visit both living
relatives and grave sites in their ancestral communities.