E. Jean's Top 5 Holiday Survival Tips for Couples

ELLEs advice columnist weighs in on party etiquette, mistletoe flirting, and what he really wants for Christmas

ELLE's advice columnist weighs in on party etiquette, mistletoe flirting, and what he really wants for Christmas

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When a well-bred couple discusses holiday gifts, it is wise not to mention what you really want. For instance: She doesn't want to hear that he wants "two girls at once;" and he won't like hearing that you'll be disappointed if denied a four-bedroom apartment on Park Avenue, the lead role in the new Wes Anderson movie, and a dinner invitation to the White House.

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E. Jean’s Top 5 Holiday Survival Tips for Couples

An elegant couple does not drunk-text each other more than three times on Thanksgiving and twice on Kwanzaa. Seven DTs are permitted when out "Christmas shopping" with friends, and one DT per day between Hanukkah and New Year's is considered au fait.

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E. Jean’s Top 5 Holiday Survival Tips for Couples

The correct couple does not flirt at parties. Flirting with couples who are better-looking than you are, however, is wholly encouraged.

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E. Jean’s Top 5 Holiday Survival Tips for Couples

An erection is never permitted during the holidays (or after January 1, for that matter) when dancing with a lady who is not your girlfriend.

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E. Jean’s Top 5 Holiday Survival Tips for Couples

The most entertaining present you can give to other couples is getting into a huge fight on New Year's Eve when it's discovered that you ignored tips 1 through 4...and you both recently posted personal ads in the Craigslist "Casual Encounters" section.

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