Smithers: I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot.(Audience gasps)Smithers: And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!Homer: Are you ready to laugh?Man: That poor dog.

Mr. Burns: Ah, yes. Naturally, I can't pay you much of a reward because I'm strapped for cash.(The ceiling above gives way; money and jewels pour down on him.)Mr. Burns: As you can see, this old place is falling apart. But I'm sure we can come to an understanding.