The Baylor Bears looked like shit for majority of Friday night, but they eventually pulled away from the Rice Owls en route to a 38-10 victory in Houston, meaning they now have almost as many wins this year as rape lawsuits.

Check it out, bro. We push last week, but that Chargers game was more disappointing than my cousin Baldev’s SAT scores, my friend. Dude ironically struggles with spelling, bro. I say we put that game behind us look to the weekend at hand because Rakesh is liking what he is looking at or whatever you call it, my friend.

There is still 9 minutes left in the 2nd quarter in Austin, TX, and the Baylor Bears and Texas Longhorns have already scored 56 points. And as you might suspect, neither of them have a shot at the National Championship…