Man Surprised To Discover Five-Inch Knife Stuck Through His Head

Hospital staff treating a retired school teacher for a headache found a five inch knife blade wedged in his head.

The discovery was made after doctors X-rayed Leonard Woronowicz to see if he had cracked his skull in a fall while climbing over a stool in his kitchen four days earlier.

Instead they found a blade that had penetrated the 61-year-old's head just below his right ear. It had snapped off at the handle without touching any major blood vessels or nerves - or causing any lasting damage.

He said: "I thought they might give me an aspirin, instead they pulled a five inch knife blade out of my head."

Give the man his props: he's no whiner. When one of my cuticles tears back I'm hyperaware of it for a week.

In related news, doctors were surprised to discover that former President Jimmy Carter did not in fact have a brain in his head. The organ occupying the space in his skulls could not be immediately identified, but it appeared to be some sort of cross between hardened custard and a dyspeptic liver.