It's rude to lump dogs and graffiti taggers together

Carpenter

November 09, 2007|By Paul Carpenter Of The Morning Call

Mea culpa: This is a clear case of journalistic conflict of interest. This is personal.

Over the years, when this or that television set went haywire, I learned that some TV repair shops are worthless. I finally found one -- Coughlin's in Allentown -- that actually fixes the blasted things.

Right around the corner, I regularly haunt the Bike Line bicycle shop, and this week I went there to buy some White Lightning chain lubricant.

One of Bike Line's exterior walls had ugly spray-painted graffiti, scribbled by a group of subhumans called "2 HANDZ." An added note said, "F--- Thero."

Thero, apparently, is a competing graffiti simpleton.

As I have argued previously, it is only dogs and other lower life forms that use urine or spray paint to mark territory, because that's the best they can do with meager minds.

Scott Kleinschuster, Bike Line's manager, declined to comment on the graffiti, but LouAnn Coughlin had plenty to say about identical markings at her TV repair shop.

"I've had graffiti for the last five of six years," she said, "but never this bad."

It was just three weeks ago that Allentown officials announced $500 rewards for information on such vandals, as part of the city's Graffiti Busters program, which cleans graffiti at no cost to property owners. But Coughlin said she had no luck getting help.

"The city doesn't want to do anything right now," she said after contacting the city's Bureau of Recycling and Solid Waste, which handles the program. She said she was told manpower shortages meant no one could help with the "2 HANDZ" vandalism on the side of her building for probably three to five weeks.

When I showed up, part of the graffiti had already disappeared, thanks to Chris Conte, a family friend who also is a painter. Conte had several solvents with him, but said he found Goof Off works best.

He had removed the note to Thero and part of the other vandalism. I asked Conte if he had started with the obscenity.

"That I did," he smiled. "It's sad to see stuff like this. ... People work their whole lives to build up a nice business, and kids come and crap on it."

Graffiti and other forms of vandalism have always been with us, but in recent years, it has spread like cancer. One of the best ways to tell if a community is in serious cultural decline is to check the amount of graffiti left by subhumans.

I offered that argument when I talked to Ann Saurman, the manager of Allentown's recycling bureau.

"Oh, absolutely," she agreed. "It's very important to us. This year, we've been inundated with taggers."

("Tagger" is the polite way to refer to a canine biped who has only enough intellect to operate a spray paint can.)

I told Saurman it's a shame the two shops will have to wait weeks to get city help.

"We're going to take that down as soon as we can," she said, and a crew will be there within a week, "if not sooner." Saurman noted her bureau has only three people scrubbing graffiti full time, and one was out sick until this week.

Personally, I don't think there is any municipal function more important than getting rid of the idiotic territorial markings of subhumans.

Upon reflection, however, I realize it was rude of me to equate dogs, who mark territory with urine, and bipeds, who do so with spray paint. I apologize for insulting the dogs.