Gates of Compassion

“As you walk from room to room in your own home, try to experience the transition form one place to another. Notice the difference between motion and stillness. Sense how you relate to various enclosures and open spaces. Feel the difference between entering and leaving, if there are differences. Contemplate the thoughts that get caught between doorways, in the doorways themselves, and think of the people who have walked these paths before you. While you are thinking of others, the doors of your household become the gates of compassion.”

Gary Thorpe from Crossing the Threshold

Cultivating compassion for oneself and in one’s home can be a powerful practice for the holidays. Holidays bring family and friends together for annual traditions. We step out of our everyday lives to engage in these rituals of connection. And yet, stepping out of our lives means stepping away from the security of our every day routines. We can feel lost or confused or wonder who we are. If family connections are fractured or painful or uncertain, we encounter fear and anxiety. All of us step into the unknown, even in small ways because family holds up for us who we were and who we are.

Gary Thorp offers to us the possibility of feeling into ourselves in relationship to the space of our home. We can feel and know ourselves as we move in this space. We can attune ourselves by feeling the subtle change as we contemplate movement, enclosure and open space. We can connect with the history and meaning for ourselves and others as we imagine those who have also walked these paths. By attending to our experience, we both feel what is there and choose what we will attend to and focus on.

If you are encountering an unknown or challenge holiday event or gathering, you can support yourself through your ability to feel and choose what to focus on. As you sit here at your computer, you are being supported by the chair, by the temperature in the room, by the sun shining in the window, by the food you ate for breakfast, and by the air that you are breathing in. Whether you are uneasy about a deadline or satisfied by a recent piece of work or relieved that nothing difficult is on you plate today, your are still being sustained and cared for by the chair, the temperature etc. In difficult moments, it can be helpful to feel into and attend to that which is sustaining you.

In a difficult holiday moment, you might be sitting on a couch surrounded by people who intimidate you or you feel unsafe with. You might feel dread arise or shame or doubt. Connect in that moment with what sustains you. It might be the laughter of children in another room, or the amazing mint cookie that you just bit into. It might be the light as it reflects off the decorations – or the simple presence of someone across the room who knows and values you. Feel for what comforts you and reminds you of who you truly are. As you welcome and allow what naturally sustains you in the moment – you will begin to regain perspective and balance. Sometimes it is neccesary to step outside or go to another room to take in additional support from the elements that are there. If there is no ease or relief, try just caring about how hard it is for you right now without judgement of yourself or others.

Holidays evoke deep feelings – and we will all have moments of greater and lesser ease. Take care of yourself by connecting to your own experience – and opening to whatever is warm and healing for you. When you get back home or feel a greater sense of balance, open to the joy of feeling supported and celebrate your ease. Rest wherever you are in what has the deepest capacity to sustain you. That is the essense of self-care.

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Consider attending Mindfulness, Movement and Space : A workshop with Steve Clorfeine on Saturday, January 9th from 10 to 4pm at NYEA, 4 Central Ave., Albany. Steve will explore the continuum from sitting meditation, to space awareness practice to improvisational practice. For more information, contact Denie at 434-2124 or Karen at 424-7516.

Karen Beetle

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