What Really Repels Men? A Man Weighs In

Today, an old friend guest blogs for the Man Repeller. His name is Lee. Funny thing about this man is that he is not a man at all. Nay, he is a modern day Quasimodo. Though he is not Asian as his name suggests, he knows a thing or two about that which chops the tree, cracks the broom, crashes the banana boat. After all, he’s an expert (read: closet queen.)

Disclaimer: A rejected Man Repeller wearing high waisted denim shorts, a Little House on the Prairie-inspired blouse and shoes studded with loads o’crystals sat alone in Thompson Square Park one summer night in 2008, swinging to her own beat. Lee had just broken her heart, “it’s not you, it’s your clothes,” said he.

An old photo, yes, but so relevant right here and now.

And so, fellow Repellows, welcome QuasiLee:An old wise married woman once told me, “The only time a man is truly honest is right after sex.” (Man Repeller note: what do you know, lazy eye. Lee has a lazy eye.) For this blog post, let us all assume that I just had a 24 hour long romp, since I will be brutally honest in regards to what repels men. (MR note: good one, Rico Suave.)

Animal print: I know it’s coming back because I see more Zebras and Cheetahs (MR note: We prefer to refer to the print as leopard) walking around the streets of New York every Saturday night. Sparing a limited array of feathers, anything that makes you look like an animal does not make me want to sleep with you (MR note: you hear that, ladies, he just gave feathers the OK. Black Swan win!) It makes me want to shoot you, but not in the “Oops I didn’t mean to” Dick Cheney way, (MR note: thank you, Lee for honoring my request and keeping things PC) but more of the ‘aim to kill’ way. This includes full dresses, head bands, flats and yes, even post-its. (MR note: animal print post-its!? Sign me up.)

Shoes: It is often hard to fathom that something so important in your minds eye may mean nothing to someone else, but it happens. That’s right ladies, most (straight) men don’t care what shoes you are wearing. We usually only look at your face. Butbig army boots are unappealing. They make you look more masculine than I am. (MR note: this is not difficult to accomplish.) Shoes with 1,000 buckles are a bitch to take off when we want to finally know one another biblically (MR note: we call them chastity boots for a reason, bible lover) and multicolored neon sneakers that scream ‘NOTICE ME’ fall into this category too. (MR note: I’ve never seen these alleged “multicolored neon sneakers” but I’d like to own a pair.)

Pants: I don’t know where the belly button covering pants idea came into play, (MR note: They’re called high waisted trouser pants, DUH) but us men like a nice belly button. (MR note: I’ll bet you do.)

How about high waisted leopard print diapers, Lee. Are these okay?

Capes: They are for super heroes and Halloween costumes. (MR note: and fervent fashion flamingos.) Keep them at home unless you plan on becoming ‘Cockblock’, the ultimate super villain who can’t get laid and therefore makes sure that none of her friends do either. Time for a “girls night out!” “Fuck boys!” is your slogan. Go buy some matches for your cape. (MR note: Oh, nifty idea, Balmain inspired holes in the cape!) This goes for big black ponchos as well.

Oversized shirts: All men love when their girls looks like they just got out of bed and slapped on the button down he wore to work to make them cereal. But this trend has gone a bit too far. Some of the shirts you Repellers are wearing make you look like you just got ravaged by 3 Brad Pittscirca Fight Club. Some are enormous and don’t look like anything Fat Bastard would have worn. Some just look like your ex-boyfriends shirts that you loved too much to throw away…(MR note: Flattered you’d assume we have ex-boyfriends.)

Holy shirt: I am a spiritual man myself; however, having a hole situated under your arm pit is unnecessary. Do you sweat excessively? Use deodorant. Do you like a breeze? Get a guy to blow down your shirt. (MR note: In what world does is this solution on par with “use deodorant.”) Do you think it looks cool? It doesn’t. (MR note: Yes it does.)

Big Bags: My mother once told me, “all girls have baggage Lee, just pick the ones with carry on.” I hold this true when it comes to fashion as well. There is no need to carry around EVERYTHING in one bag. Looking for shit takes you an hour, especially the keys to your apartment at 3:30 in the morning when you’re drunk. You are not Harry Potter and you don’t have a magical-fit-everything bag. When you go out carry a clutch and leave everything else at home. (MR note: Oh, I’ll carry a clutch alright. CC: Reece Hudson Oversized Moto Clutch.)

American Apparel Bras: They don’t have a snap and they are super fucking annoying! No one likes the douche-bag that brings a gift wrapped in shipping tape to a party, right? (MR note: What?) So don’t make this contraption more difficult to take off than it already is. (MR note: What?) We feel around for the clip but can’t find it and then you tell us that there is no clip. This yields a surprise ruined and mood damaged. (It’s very hard to kill the mood with guys. Unless you fart… out of your vagina… and even then…) (MR note: Wow, pulling a stop with the quaf. You could have been the model Man Repeller, Lee.)

Why does Lee take girls' boots off for them?? And why does he know so much about Harry Potter? Sounds like he's repelling females…

http://fashionslap.net/ fashionslap.net

LOL I mainly like the snarky comments, but honestly Lee are you seriously telling us that men never wear capes and pretend to be superman. We women know that's a secret fantasy along with a menage a trois with Jessica Alba and Mila Kunis…gaw. In the mean time I'd like to know where the Women Repeller is in this. Will no women speak of the unsightly things men do such as wearing there pants around their ankles and showing us there not so flattering heart printed boxers or perhaps going out with grease stains on their shirts and belts that are often bigger than the junk behind them? I am waiting for that. Someone get on this asap please.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/14173078061879089447 Shauna Aliza

Yesssss…. best way to start the New Year. Great post!!!

http://www.blogger.com/profile/07431886068122136937 RX-SZ

This is so good! Great way to start the year. Good way to reassure my dislike of animal prints!

http://www.blogger.com/profile/04775667096221853862 Biaa

This post cracked me up soooooooooo much! Happy New Year

Anonymous

Phew – feathers made it.

So many questions tho – how about studs? bedazzled anything? jeggings?

haha, about the bra-thing: He says taking off an american apparel bra is hard. I believe he never tried to untangle a Marlies Dekkers!

http://www.blogger.com/profile/11681552282112821542 Annalee Kessler

after reading a males POV:a part of me is oh so disappointed at how big of a repeller i am…but a bigger part of me is oh so proud at how big of a repeller i am!

Anonymous

Thank you for an excellent start to 2011, manrepeller. I am loving that Alice and Olivia jacket so hard, I kind of need it…let the 2011 sartorial genius (…repelling) commence!

http://www.blogger.com/profile/12721489174660426272 Fashion Intel

My new year's resolution is to get back to commenting on this awesome blog. Hilarious start to the new year! I'm really a fan of oversized sweaters that make me look pregnant.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/16872363950674381464 no

Is Lee single? Tell him I promise to wear a snap-it bra.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15292751794260341682 Adrianna Traxler

funny as always…love the male guest. I guess I am one to repel when it comes to my obsession with leopard

Justin Timothy

I'll levy an honest guy response (i'm probably in the minority here): nothing on that list would repel me in fact it's quite the opposite: the normal everyday fashion that I assume would be more palatable to most men that really bore the shit out of me.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/03394947638036945392 Camilla.

Your joking me, I thought guys would LOVE see through bra with no clasp. They HATE clasps.this was enlightening.

intothefoldfashion.blogspot.com

http://www.blogger.com/profile/07339568754680630991 Ife’

I am literally dying of laughter over here! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

William.

TBH, I thought that was pretty lame, that guy isn't very funny at all… But then as a male myself, and having to admit that I find everything on that list very attractive on a pretty woman, so what do I know about manly humour…

http://www.blogger.com/profile/00681030204839713609 kaye i.

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!! Well, Lee is right (but do we really care).

My bf doesn't understand some of the clothes I wear, like my cape and riding boots or when I wear some of his clothes that makes me look like a boy! But he doesn't mind at all when I go out without him coz he for sure knows nobody would hit on me when I'm wearing "weird" clothing. My outfits are pretty tamed compared to those hardcore MRs out there.

LOL!!!!! Much props to Lee for guest blogging but MR, your notes MADE this post!! Awesome! Happy New Year! P.S – Glad he gave feathers the thumbs up.

Anonymous

the reason i liked your site to begin with was because it showed (in a witty way) how much we don't give a shit that we're ridiculous (ie, cape, thousand buckled 5 inch heel combat boot..etc) ….but also kind of tempered the fashion craze with a bit of fun perspective.

but lately your posts have been self deprecating up to the point of insult. clearly you love fashion and clearly we all do otherwise we never would've found this site to begin with.

it gets out of control sometimes…but in the end, there IS more too to it than silly consumerism and women being stupid. and this post and some others have only worked to give amo to people who dismiss the fashion industry and any one who loves it.

and im as fucking broke and cape wearing and annoyed with jane aldridge and chloe sevigny and alexa chung-contradictory-fashion-cynic-AND-lover and as they come.

screw this lee character.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/17631712778155956104 Kacrates

Haha another great one this week.

THE CAPES! FEAR! XD

Veronica

All Hail the Mighty Man Repeller. I have started off my year counting the number of fabrics I don each day (and if it ain't greater than 5, no one leaves the house) and demonstrating my enthusiasm for things by touting the possession of a rigid "lady boner". Much loves!

BTW thanks for the validation Lee, now shoo! I have plaid and furs to juxtapose over my lady bits.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/14437878362917429447 That Girl

HAHA it sounds like my new bra must be incredibly man repellent! A zebra print bra (it's reversible!) with a difficult type of hook!

And I LOVE oversized shirts. AND enormous purses. At 5'1" it's my goal to get a purse that's almost as big as I am. I want to look COMPLETELY dwarfed by it.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/16127780188357907492 Angela Khurdajian

fur coats are guaranteed man repellants..i love wearing them for just that reason. I love you MR, you're fucking awesome. I now ask myself before I leave the house whether the MR would approve of my outfit.

fashionfrolick.blogspot.com

http://www.blogger.com/profile/17077095974490105071 t

Yesterday I incorporated the "Turband" into my outfit. Today, I'll try the turband, leopard print, and big combat boots all at once!

http://www.blogger.com/profile/06465441604326141716 Laura

great post!!!happy new year repellow…love starting the year with your post

http://www.blogger.com/profile/00207083711507978637 Eugenia Woods

Hilarious. Glad to know I have six out of the eight repelling items. I've made a mental note to search for a cape and a holy shirt.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/07402619672119377705 Villedela

Literally love all of the above items. Brilliant post, but what else is new?

http://www.blogger.com/profile/05195167156073244045 Magen Toole

It seems that I'm a repeat offender on all of these points. I'm so proud of myself.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/01034419628438916276 serenissima

'Go forth now and be the equestrian inspired weapon loving jungle animal in sequins you were born to be!'

Ahahahaha I love the MR notes! Lee, I'd have to agree with the big bag thing. I hate that. Everything else is on my shopping list. Love.

ambikakashi.blogspot.com

Anonymous

The article seems to imply that animal print would tend to make a female less attractive in the eyes of a male. As a guy, I don't see the logic behind this opinion. Animal print hardly seems to compare with the worst offenders highlighted here and elsewhere.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/12731586521881528623 flyingcupcake

hahah, this is all so true. but i'm never giving up my oversized bags. and having to remove the american apparel bra always confuses the boys.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/10225082342414656605 rosenr

I loved having Lee's comments with your quirky comments beside his. This blog really had me laughing but I was also completely confused. I thought high waisted pants were in style. They make legs look longer and waists look smaller… what is so repelling about that?

http://www.blogger.com/profile/16842351377234116599 Ju Bernal

I love all these items! hahaha

Gab

I love most of this items, and so does my husband! (except the american apparel bra and the high waisted trouser pants). I would say the he (and I) specially loves the combat boots, big bags and animal prints. Maybe I'm lucky and didn't know it.

http://cheetahprintdress.net cheetah print dress

The more I read your blog, the more I understand why I am single. I am offending SO damned hard.

kailah fay, im 14

i loke poop

Femme

Lol, this is fab. I’ll remember that 90% of what I’m wearing is unnacceptable to the male population :3 if women took this to heart all you’d see would be jeans and t-shirts with possibly a skirt or dress :3 This is lovely xD Byt honestly can you say guys are any better. I saw a guy the other day with his pants below mid thigh and his panties were silkier than mine

Teresa McGrath

As a single woman, I take none of this in. I do know many women are taking notes! I feel sorry for those who care what others think! (May be why I’m single) lol