All
information in this article is for educational purposes only.It is not for the diagnosis, treatment,
prescription or cure of any disease or health condition.

The path to health and happiness is
often not a path of adding to or gaining something, but of removal or letting
go.This is a critical principle
of healing that is rarely discussed.

The media, books and even parents often
encourage us to obtain more, to attain great heights, to grow and accumulate
degrees, things, friends, children, money and so on.All of this has its place.However, its opposite – learning to let go of the
past, in particular, and of all attitudes, emotions, things, friends and other
“baggage” that are holding one back - is often a hidden key to happiness and
healing.It is a must to make room
for more wonderful things to come.Let us explore the secret of the very freeing process of letting
go.

WHAT DOES LETTING GO REALLY INVOLVE?

Leaving
your comfort zone.Learning to
let go of old habits, ideas, people who are not serving your best interests,
and much more is not an easy task for anyone.The main reason is one must leave one’s comfort zone or
familiar situations, habits and thinking patterns.This is stressful, often in the extreme.Therefore, most people simply do not do
it.They make excuse after excuse
as to why they should not change, rather than embrace change.This is the main block in most people’s
way when it comes to letting go of anything in one’s life.

Letting
go can be as simple as recycling or giving away old clothing.It can be as radical as leaving a
long-standing marriage or friendship and changing one’s entire lifestyle.Whichever it is, it is always going to
be somewhat painful.I mention
this because the feeling of loss that accompanies any type of letting go is
perfectly normal, and should not be confused.If one expects no pain, then when the pain of separation and
letting go and abandonment hit, many people turn away rather than move forward
boldly.This is the main reason
that most people do not make the most of their lives.

Letting go is always somewhat scary.Letting go is also frightening for
other reasons.One is that the
future is always unknown.The
past, miserable as it might have been, is known and thus one can more easily
navigate through it, knowing at least what to expect, even if it is not
great.The future, however, is
completely unknown and this is very unnerving for most people.This is the second important stumbling
block that prevents most people from moving forward in their lives.

The
third block is that the future is unpredictable.This is related to the second block, but is somewhat
different.It means that no matter
how well you plan ahead, the future is inherently difficult to prepare for,
unlike past attitudes, relationships and habits with which one is more
familiar.This, also, stops some
people from moving on because they don’t even know what they need to prepare
for their futures.

The
fourth block is that few people realize that when one truly lets go and forges
ahead, one will have few if any reference points to evaluate their next
move.This may seem trite, but is
extremely important.Because of
this fact, a wonderful counselor I once spoke with told me that if an
opportunity that arose for me seemed comfortable, then it probably was not
truly my future.Whereas, if an
opportunity arose that seemed quite nebulous, with few reference points, it was
actually more likely to be related to my true future.

This
may seem counterintuitive, but the counselor explained that it is an important
reason why most people have difficulty really letting go of their past and
embracing their future.He called
this process “movement”.

Another
block to movement or moving on in your life is thinking you will lose some
essential part of your identify, personality, friendships, family relations or
other parts of yourself that you value.This was a stumbling block for me as well.Know that if you truly embrace your future, this will not
occur.In fact, when you move
ahead and let go of your past, more, not
less of your personality and gifts will manifest.I can only tell you this from experience, and everyone
experiences this fear that they will lose their identity, talents, friendships
and so on.You may seem to lose
some, but if you do then anything you lose was not really you.This may seem harsh, but many of us do
not really know our deepest self, our deepest identity, and even who our real
friends are.Please consider this
statement carefully.

LETTING GO VERSUS FORGIVING

These,
in fact, are similar if one forgives properly.However, it is possible to let go of something or someone
without forgiving.It is not
possible to forgive properly without letting go.Since this subject is somewhat involved, see the separate
article entitled Forgiving Others for more details
about the differences and what real forgiving involves.

LETTING GO OF LIVING HABITS

Dysfunctional living habits offer
temporary relief, but add stress and strain in the long run.They may include staying up later than
9 or 9:30 PM at night, taking on too many obligations, distracting oneself or
procrastinating instead of facing challenges and work, or perhaps avoiding
exercise.Others include eating
too much, skipping meals, drinking too much coffee or alcohol, smoking, eating
junk food or sugar, getting upset over trifles or taking stimulants or
depressants instead of addressing deeper causes of unhappiness.

To let go of these habits first requires a
commitment to your self.You are worth the effort!Often, a good solution is to substitute better habits.For example, instead of staying up
late, record the late television show, drink calming herb tea to help you slow
down, decide you will not start projects after dinnertime, and start preparing
for bed early.

Extra
obligations.To avoid
accepting too many obligations, set aside time periods on your calendar each
day that are just for you - for meals, exercise, a long walk by yourself, a
bath, perhaps, or another favorite recreation or activity.Refuse to give up these time slots for
anyone or anything. You will feel
selfish or maybe you will miss parties or other gatherings, but it is all good
training.

In particular, set aside time for rest,
to breathe deeply, to relax and to have peaceful, sit-down meals.This also means setting aside enough
time to shop for food and to prepare meals with love.Eating is not something to squeeze in between
appointments.Especially avoid
eating in your car, or while conducting business at an office.Establishing these simple habits will
influence all your other habits in many cases.Good habits foster other good habits, in other words.The rewards in your health will more
than compensate for the time taken to focus on these simple good habits.

If you tend to overdo on alcohol, coffee,
sugar, junk food or medications, there are many ways to shift your habits.Getting enough rest and sleep, eating
better and exercising regularly in a gentle and mild way will assist in
reducing cravings.Don't keep
tempting foods, beverages or drugs in your environment.Ask for cooperation from those around
you.Keep better quality foods on
hand at all times for when temptation arises.Experiment with alternatives. Sometimes support groups and
professional help are also excellent.

When you endeavor to change any habit, do so
in the spirit of celebration, not from need.The spirit of celebration means that you have already
overcome it in your mind.You just
need a little help to work out the details.This is a far cry from feeling you are a wretched victim of
some habit and that someone or some therapy is needed to "fix" you.

Another trick for letting go of
unwanted habits is to regularly treat yourself to healthful activities and
therapies that balance and enhance mind and body.These can include Rolfing, energy work, foot reflexology
treatments, chiropractic adjustments and perhaps a class of very gentle yoga,
tai chi or another.Just be very
careful with yoga and tai chi, as many are injured in these classes.It must be extremely gentle and the
teacher MUST walk around during the entire class and make sure you are doing
each pose or position correctly at all times.Otherwise, I do not recommend these activities.Much better to join a hiking club or
gardening club.

Other general suggestions to help you
let go of the past are to seek balance and harmony in every aspect of your
life.If someone or something is
continually kicking you out of balance, look at it carefully. Try continuously to separate the important
from the unimportant, the essential from the non-essential.This is an ancient teaching that is
very important today.Is hanging
out with your friends really essential?The answer is usually no.Is eating correctly and sleeping plenty each night essential?The answer is a definite yes if you
want to be healthy.

Also helpful is to live in a clean,
safe and quiet location, surrounded by some natural beauty.Much less important is to have a lot of
things, such as a big house or other “trappings” of society.

Remember always that the body follows
the mind.Therefore, try to police
your mind as much as you can.Note
what you focus on, what you think about, and what you tend to ignore.For example, if you focus too much on
physical symptoms and conditions, you will often perpetuate them without
realizing why this occurs.If,
instead, you focus on God, on being grateful for whatever you have, no matter
how little it is, on helping others rather than on receiving help from others,
you will heal much faster.

Also, of course, focus on what you can
let go of that is in your way.This can be anything from a food or habit to a thinking pattern or
attitude or a person.Contrary to
many books, for example, families need not “stick together” when the children
are grown up, or even before in a few cases.Be careful not to be trapped in popular belief systems that
are harmful for you.However, this
does not mean throwing out all societal norms, which is another trap for many
young people today.I highly
recommend the Ten Commandments, for example.They work exceedingly well in most cases.Avoid the rampant temptation today to
disregard them as just some old teaching that is not relevant in the modern
world.They are totally relevant!

Physical
symptoms.Often physical
symptoms are best seen as conversations your body is having with you. This is a
much more wholesome and in fact more true understanding of many symptoms,
rather than thinking in terms of “diseases” that are out to get you.What are your symptoms telling
you?Ask often and you will get
answers, particularly if you leave yourself quiet time to contemplate and
meditate daily.Taking a walk
daily is a wonderful way to empty your mind, let go of the day’s cares and
allow your future to come to you.

YOUR FUTURE WILL FIND YOU IF YOU LET GO OF YOUR PAST

This is a great spiritual lesson.I meet many people who are deeply
concerned with “finding themselves”.This often means finding a career, a relationship, love, power, money or
something like this.I have found
that the key is make room for your future by letting go of your entire past.

I emphasize entire past because for me
this is what it takes.In other
words, question everything and everyone in your life.Let them all go mentally and emotionally.This does not mean you must get a
divorce or leave school, however.It means to be free in your mind.Then you will figure out in an objective way if the job, the school, the
friends and so on are really for you.But you must first let them all go emotionally in order to see where the
future may lie.That is the key.

LETTING GO OF EMOTIONS AND BELIEFS

Examples of beliefs that may need to be
let go include many fears, all resentments, guilt, at times, remorse, excessive
seriousness, and most judgments expressed as ‘shoulds’, ‘oughts’, ‘musts’ and
‘have tos’.

These familiar bedfellows have a way of
hanging around, changing form in deceptive manners, and then blocking you from
your future.Often one is not even
aware of their presence in the deep recesses of the mind.This is where really honest friends and
even strangers can be extremely helpful, at times.Try to listen to those who are bold enough to speak up to
you, saying things that may not feel good to you or to them, but which
sometimes need to be said.Too
often, we shun those who speak the truth to us and only embrace those who think
just like us.

Affirmations
to help one let go of the past.A
few carefully chosen and simple affirmations may also be helpful to dredge up
deeply held resentments and negative attitudes.Such affirmations are not intended to be used for
brainwashing. The purpose of such an affirmation is not to change anything, but just
to bring up all thoughts that are unlike the affirmation.

For example, the affirmation, "I
choose fearlessness" will accelerate or bring up all thoughts of fear
within you if you say it often.Try it for a week or two and you will see this if you do it faithfully
and with conviction.

Know that in spite of your best efforts
to let them go, old belief patterns will often continue to come up for a while,
especially if one is in the habit of indulging them. Just denying them usually
won't make them go away.Instead,
letting go means to notice them, but don't allow them to make a home in your
mind.Notice them, bless them and
see them as a relic of a dead past.Turn them over to a higher power.Take a walk, take a nap or otherwise shift your focus and let them go.You do have a choice which emotions and
thoughts you will entertain in your mind.It takes a lot of practice, but the old thoughts will begin to lose
their hold on you.

For
negative thoughts. Try entertaining really positive thoughts instead, such
as that only love is real and I am the expression of love in this world of
form.Just try these ideas on for
size. At first they may seem outrageous.With practice, they become more comfortable.Eventually you will wonder why you believed otherwise for so
many years.

If friends or family continually remind
you of the old fears and angers, it is fine to tell them thanks, but you are
not interested any more.It is
alright to say you have decided to be that which you would spread to
others.You figured out that anger
and fear heal nothing, and only hurt the one who harbors them. In letting go of
judgments about others, it may help to realize that we don't often see the big
picture, and we don't really know what is best for others. We don't even know
when and how we were created.

Doubt
the negatives in your life and in your mind.If you cannot embrace a positive thought to replace a
negative thought of emotion, at least doubt
the negative.This is a
helpful technique that helped me turn around a lot of negative thinking and
feeling.Each time I found myself
thinking negatively, I would doubt myself purposely.I would think and say, “But perhaps I’m wrong about
that”.This is a way to
intentionally confuse the negative part of yourself, which in turn weakens it
severely.Before, you were likely
doubting the positive aspects of your life or yourself.Start to doubt the negative aspects as
well.

Stay
in the present time. As you
explore letting go, it often helps to remember that "I am in the right place at the right time".This statement can help counteract one
way that your mind keeps you in old beliefs and attitudes.It does this by reminding you of
something in your past that is familiar and reinforces your old beliefs and
thoughts.Realize that your past
was perfect, but it is time to move on, let it go completely so that your
future can come to you.

Do
not compare yourself with others.Comparing
always leads to unhappiness.You
will learn that there will always be someone more beautiful, smarter, more
successful, “happier”, etc.Later,
as you embrace your future completely, you will realize that comparing yourself
with others, for the most part, is totally futile.You are not that person, and your life should look quite
different from that of others.If
it is a carbon copy of your neighbors, you are most likely not living your own
life, but simply “keeping up with Jones family”, to use a common phrase.

Instead, try setting a new
example.Try to be one who
inspires others.Show up as you
wish others to be.Be a friend, rather
than look for a friend.Be a good
partner, business person, student, etc.It is a lot more fun and productive than comparing yourself or trying to
make everyone and everything else conform to your desires.

Letting go also applies to the jaded
fear-based and ego-based voices that often whisper in our ears, and serve only
to confuse and hold us back. Identifying these false voices and learning to
ignore them gets easier with practice.

Letting go may involve questioning
every belief system you have ever been taught.Ask yourself, does this belief fit the reality that I am
loved by the Creator infinitely more than I can imagine?

Do
not rebel for rebellion’s sake.Rebelling is not at all the same as letting go of the past.Rebellion is a very popular sport today
that often wastes years of people’s lives. They think they are running toward
their future, but are really just running away from their past. Letting go does not just propel you in any
other direction.It is just a
total and repeated emptying of the mind and the emotions so that something else
can come in and show you your way.

If you find yourself rebelling, slow
down and just allow yourself to question and allow the answers to be revealed.

Ask
and you shall receive.These
simple words from the New Testament and Old Testament of the Bible are as true
today as ever.Many people want to
let go, but they do not ask frequently enough.Keep that in mind.For example, many pray for friends, success, money, or health.They should be praying to let go of the
past, which is often the reason for their illness and seeming failures.

LETTING GO OF EXCUSES

Excuses
disempower you.Really let
this thought sink in deeply.Excuses imply that you were a victim of circumstances and therefore you
are powerless and not responsible for your actions.They may make you seem more innocent, but really they just
disempower you.

The
opposite of making excuses is to take full responsibility for your life.That is not a popular way to be today,
but it is a valuable concept.The
main reason for taking responsibility is that it is so empowering.It implies correctly that if things are
a mess, you have the power to change them, whereas if you make excuses, the
implication is you are a victim and not as able to change your life.Life's circumstances are our
playground, not our master.

Try on the idea of taking full
responsibility for everything in your life, even the negatives as you perceive
them, such as alcoholic parents, mean partners, troublesome children, horrible
diseases or other seeming misfortunes.Taking full responsibility may seem daunting, but it is really not so at
all.It is a new way to live that
prepares you for a wonderful and fulfilling future full of joy and love.Please listen to this advice as it is
perhaps the most important of this article.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET GO OF ‘STINKING THINKING’?

Your
present situation is the result of your past thoughts, attitudes and actions to
a greater extent than you might imagine.Really practicing and living the letting gophilosophy
each day will cause amazing life changes - sometimes very quickly.All kinds of problems can improve, and
life becomes much simpler and happier. Why is this so? Because the old thoughts
and attitudes created the problems in the first place.This is a most important
principle.

Change your thoughts, habits and
attitudes and over time your entire life will change.The amazing changes that occur can be hard to believe.

ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING

Accept
ALL of the love of the Creator for you into your life. Often this is the
hardest thing in the world to do.We are so used to striving and straining to get what we want that the
idea of simply allowing and accepting seems difficult.

Allowing and accepting are really part
of letting go.You see, holding on
to the past is like living on autopliot, even though most people think they are
in control and “creating their future”.Most are not.They are
simply living out their older beliefs and ideas in new forms.

Once you have set your intention to let
go of your entire past, the next logical and related step is to relax and
really allow and accept the new beliefs and principles into your lifeThis will happen automatically as you
make room for them and search honestly.This website you are viewing may help bring some of those new beliefs,
ideas, and practices or lifestyle into your new life.

Grace
is your birthright. Expressed
in religious terms, grace is yours, and it is not dependent on works.It is undeserved and unearned.It is like the sun that shines on everyone
equally, regardless of their past thoughts and behavior.

Allowing and accepting may be
unfamiliar words, and even less familiar ways of living. Yet living
by grace works, often much better than the old way of struggle and
striving.

CHOOSING PEACE

Another aspect of letting go that is
often overlooked is a decision that must accompany letting go.It is to consciously choose to be at peace
within.Since this is a
bit complex, I want to explain it carefully.First, let us examine this in more detail.It means a deliberate choice to be at
peace all of the time, not just when things are going well and life is
fun.Also, it means choosing for
peace even if it hurts – and it will hurt at times.

For example, it can mean giving up the
sweet feeling of revenge against friends and others who appear to slight you or
harm you.It can mean walking away
from a situation in which you could choose to fight back.Of course, sometimes fighting is the
correct response, but it must be done from a place of peace within.This is the key, and it is not an easy
thing to understand.Jesus of
Nazareth called this idea “the peace that passeth all understanding”.In other words, it must come from
within.It is not about gritting
your teeth and walking away, or putting on a happy smile while you fume
underneath.One can fight a fair
fight without anger and resentment.That is the idea

Now let us discuss more about what
choosing for peace within does not mean.It does not mean denying your anger, fear or upset.It means observing your feelings,
expressing them when appropriate, and then letting them go.

It also does not mean being a doormat
or avoiding confrontation.It
means learning how to communicate effectively and acting boldly, at times, but
not from anger.Mr. Roy Masters
loves to say it is possible to be strong without being wrong, meaning angry.

It does not mean protesting all defense
spending - a legitimate function of the federal government.

Nor does it mean to be a pacifist.Sometimes an action of another demands
a forceful response.It means to
be at peace inside yourself even if you are in a fight.This attitude takes some time to
cultivate, but is a wonderful way to live.

A phrase to practice is "I can be at peace with this" (no
matter what 'this' is).It is
possible to be at peace even in the midst of chaos and war.There are many stories of people who
achieve this feat.Of the finest,
two that are somewhat familiar are the stories of George Washington and Abraham
Lincoln in American history. These
men were surrounded by chaos, horror, intrigue, and very bad living
conditions.Yet they remained
calm, and as a result inspired the nation.

Always recall that this kind of peace
within, or your lack thereof, always affects those around you.When you choose peace within, others
see that they too have this choice.This is a wonderful gift to your children and others around you.However, if you continue to be caught
up in outer events and tied to your past traumas, anger and resentments, you
will keep those around you somewhat caught up as well.Keep this in mind, as it is a key to
family peace and relationship success.Be the model, in other words, rather than waiting for others to let go
of their past and treat you as you wish to be treated.

FRIENDS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships
will change drastically as you let go of your past.This is inevitable and not to be feared.Women, especially, have trouble in this
area and this is unfortunate.As
you change, those around you must see you differently.Some will like what they see, but
others will not.A lot of courage
is required in this area or you will not be willing to let go of the past.

This is a delicate area, I realize,
especially in this day of easy divorce and little loyalty among many families
and friends.Divorce should always
be weighed carefully.Leaving
friends or family can be an easy way out and a substitute for examining old,
deep patterns of thought and behavior that lead to discord and disharmony.While many friendships are not the
best, our instant-gratification, throw-away culture is certainly not the
answer, either.

Let go of those who dishonor you.On the other hand, when “friends”,
family members or partners dishonor you by dishonoring their contracts and
agreements with you, be prepared to take vigorous action.Otherwise you dishonor yourself.

Some people absolutely refuse to take
responsibility for themselves and insist that you take responsibility for their
happiness.They may be absolutely committed
to unhappiness or anger.At these
times, the most loving action may be to recall that all who love are joined at
the level of the mind, but that physical separation is sometimes needed.

In other cases, another may not
dishonor you, but you may realize that your focus or level of living is
different from theirs. It is not a judgment, just an observation.
Staying with them may mean you must stay at or near their level, which can
cause depression and illness in a sensitive person. With great compassion,
you may realize you cannot maintain your integrity and keep living as another
would wish, although it may seem perfectly fine to outsiders.Each situation is different.As with any important decision, ask for
guidance and you will receive it.

One key is to recall that letting go of
the past is first and foremost about emotionally and mentally letting go, not
physically letting go.It is about
stopping your emotional investment in other people and things so that you can
see clearly.Then the right course
of action will often become apparent to you without emotional overtones.

CONCLUSION

Letting go of unwanted things, habits,
attitudes beliefs and even people is an ongoing process for anyone who wishes
to unfold spiritually. Allowing and accepting more of who you really are
requires reflection, always involves some pain and suffering, and requires
loads of compassion for oneself and everyone around you.As much as possible, relax, enjoy it
and celebrate the process as often as you can.Know that letting go, which children are often better at
doing, is the key to your growth and development throughout life.