I'm Not A Crazy Cat Lady, I Swear

So guess what? I’m looking for a cat right now. I was originally going to go back to the East Coast next week to collect my precious bundle of joy, Moomoo, who I had to leave behind when I first came out just so I could get settled. But my mother recently gave me some disappointing news. Apparently, my favorite ball of fluff has fallen in love with my mom’s cat, Noel. They’ve supposedly become inseparable. So, yes. This shattered me. I really wanted my cat here with me in LA, but I’m not a monster who’s going to break up kitty love. I’m not Godzilla for crying out loud. I actually still haven’t seen the movie or read the comic or whatever. I don’t know. I’m pretty sure it’s about a giant lizard monster trying to destroy everything, right? So me trying to break up cat love = a monster trying to destroy an entire city. Same thing. Anyways, it would just be cruel. So, I am doing the responsible thing and sending my mom a daily email reminding her that I would still be happy to take them both. Anytime. Seriously. Even right now. Mom, if you’re reading this. I still would. So far she hasn’t budged. So, I’ve started a new hunt to rescue a cat from a shelter here in California.

Now this is the problem with searching for a new cutie pie to love and cuddle with forever. It’s called the Internet, guys. What the hell. I shouldn’t even be allowed to go on these animal shelter websites, because it’s creating a problem. At first, I told myself, “Okay, Renee. Let’s find a new cat friend for you.” Now, it’s turning into, “Okay, Renee. How many cats can you fit in your apartment?” This is bad. There are so many cats who need to be saved and I want to save them all.

And you know what’s even more dangerous than the Internet? Kitten Fairs. Yes, you read that correctly. KITTEN. FAIRS. What is a kitten fair you ask? It’s basically when they bring all of the kittens that are being fostered back to the shelter for the day to have a mini adoption fair. So you walk in with self control, and walk out with six kittens. They are having these little fairs all around me every weekend until the end of summer. Am I supposed to just let that news go through one ear and out the other? Impossible. So, yes. I will most likely have a new child in about two weeks. So now I need to gather up all of my cat gear, set up the litter-box, buy a baby names book, kitty-proof everything, cut down my crazy partying (Netflix and rapping to Iggy Azalea in the shower), and find my new little buddy in LA!