Roger Federer was upset in the semifinals of the Australian Open this morning, except in Australia it's already tonight. Or last night? I dunno. The point is, the supposedly dominant #1 player couldn't even reach the finals of a Grand Slam Event 11 consecutive times. He only did it ten, which isn't even three full years. Hell, he's never even won a French Open, and his 12 Grand Slam titles are still two behind Pete Sampras's record.

Let me be the first to say it: Federer kinda sucks at tennis.

The dragonslayer is 20-year-old Novak Djokovic, who beat Federer 7-5, 6-3, 7-6 (5), the Swiss Miss's first straight-sets loss in a Grand Slam in nearly four years. After the win, Djokovic took off his shirt and was all "YEEEAAAARRRRRGGGGGHH," and I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't beat a little faster after that. I mean, he's not my type or anything, but I'm a sucker for raw animal passion. Just ask any of the stuffed animals on my bed.

Federer was likely consoled after the match with a good shave by Tiger Woods and Thierry SoccerHomo.

01.25.08 at 11:28 am

Putridstinkstar

No one beats Vitas Gerulitis 17 times in row. No one.

01.25.08 at 11:37 am

whowillsexmutombo

Why are athletes allowed to take their cothes off after a job well done? Last week, after I ripped off my shirt in the wake of an ass kicking strategic planning meeting, the HR lady gave me a stern talking to.

And when I suggested she shut up so we could fuck on my desk, well then all hell broke loose.

01.25.08 at 11:45 am

doogieinrichmond

I will never look at my Winnie the Pooh bear the same way again. Now my Raggedy Anne doll on the other hand…That bitch asked for it every time.

01.25.08 at 12:23 pm

rv

so girly roger got smoked by a guy named choke a bitch? how appropriate

01.25.08 at 3:21 pm

Smello Redux

Sorry Tim, actually had to earn my pay check today…

I generally approve. Torso/arms = nice. Face = not so nice, but probably fine in the dark.

I hope the suspense wasn't too much for you.

01.25.08 at 4:56 pm

terp210

Sampras never won the French Open, either. Agassi the only recent player to win all four slams, though not in the same year.

Federer is simply the greatest player to have ever walked onto a tennis court.

01.25.08 at 6:22 pm

swing4

Why are athletes allowed to take their cothes off after a job well done? Last week, after I ripped off my shirt in the wake of an ass kicking strategic planning meeting, the HR lady gave me a stern talking to.