Beauty is Skin Deep

I am going to be getting married shortly.The girl that i am proposed to is pious and Deeni conscious,however im not too sure of getting married to her because she is not as good looking as my friends wife and others.What should i do?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu `alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

You compare the beauty of your friend’s wife to your “wife’’.

What would you do if your wife was more beautiful than your friend’s wife and you came across another woman more beautiful than your wife? When will this comparison stop?

Beauty is relative and competitive. No amount of beauty will fulfil you.

Furthermore, what if you your wife is extremely beautiful but she has bad conduct. She backchats you, screams at you and makes life miserable. Will you still enjoy her beauty?

Beauty is skin deep and temporary. If you chase a woman because of her beauty, what if her form and figure changed upon birth or due to unforeseen circumstances, will you change her?

If you found a woman who is reasonably good looking but has good values and sound character, you should be content with that.

The beauty of a woman is admired for a few days in the beginning of the marriage, thereafter one lives with the conduct of the person. Don’t be deceived by beauty. Don’t compare your wife to other women. Be happy with her as a person. Say to yourself you are happy with her.

Hadeeth of the Day

Narrated Abud-Darda' (Radhi Allahu anhu) , I heard the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) saying, "Whenever a Muslim supplicates for his (Muslim) brother in his absence, the angels say: `May the same be for you too'. {Muslim}

IDENTIFY YOUR MARITAL PROBLEM

This forum serves to highlight some common marital problems and offer solutions to such problems.These problems have been personally witnessed and handled by Sheikh Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Hafidhahullah) over a period of 18 years.

When you are in a marital dispute, reconcile with your husband while you have an upper hand. This will be better for your dignity and personal happiness.

If you are stubborn or petty and lose that opportunity to reconcile with dignity, you may be forced to reconcile while you are on the back foot due to personal circumstances, then you will have to blame yourself for losing the opportunity to display your dignity which may negatively impact on the future of your marriage.