﻿﻿REPLACE ATTRIBUTES WITH ACTIONS

From the time we were children and our parents or other caregivers read those bedtime stories, we were trained to use attributes such as "he said" or "she said" or some other synonyms for "said" like exclaimed, stated, grunted, snapped, whipped, etc. While there's nothing wrong with this and the majority of writers use such attributes, there's an alternative that I contend provides a faster, more exciting read.

I suggest that you avoid the attributes and describe the speaking character's physical actions, appearances, or emotional feelings that provide the reader more insight into the character and story rather than wasting words like "he said" or "she said" hundreds of times throughout the book.

Example 1:Joan swatted the mosquito buzzing his ear, and he said, "I hate those suckers!"Instead, you can simply eliminate "and he said" and write:Joan swatted the mosquito buzzing his ear. "I hate those suckers!"

Example 2:Johnnie grew angrier, and he snapped at her, "get out of my face!"Instead, describe his deeper emotional experience and eliminate the "he snapped" attribute and write:Johnnie's gut burned as he grew angrier. "Get out of my face!"In this second approach, you don't have to state that he snapped. You know he did from the description of his emotional state.

Like many authors, if you are use to including "he said" and "she said" it will take time and practice to pry those phrases from your natural inclination. But once you do and realize the benefit of such an approach, you are unlikely to go back to using the unnecessary attributes.

Conduct a simple search for the word "said" throughout your manuscript, and you'll be amazed at the number of times you've used this attribute. In scenes with lots of dialog, the reader can grow weary of reading these repetitive phrases.

Go ahead and practice writing without all the unnecessary attributes and provide the reader quicker, smoother dialog without the constant interruptions of he or she said. By also replacing the attributes with physical and emotional action words that relate to what the character is doing in your story, you provide a more interesting read that helps move the tale along.

Exceptions to this are occasions when you want to describe more subtle communications like the character mouthed or whispered which are difficult to explain with action words. Also, you may still feel compelled to use the more explosive but less frequent attributes like the character screamed, yelled, or hollered. That's fine, but be careful not to rely on those attributes too often or they can become too repetitious as well.

For further examples of the using actions instead of attributes, take a peek into the "Look inside" feature of my sequel, The New World: Blue Moon Generation, on Amazon!