How to help a partner with anxiety

The statistics are staggering—according to a study, about 14 per cent of Indian adults suffer from a mental illness. Another study reports that in 2015, three per cent of India’s population suffered from anxiety disorders. That’s approximately over three crore people. If your partner is one of them, here’s what you can do (or not do) to help.

Learn as much as you can Since there are various types of anxiety disorders, the first thing you should do is learn as much as you can about your partner’s condition so that you know how to help. Keep in mind, however, that your partner’s symptoms may not clearly fit into just one bracket. But having a better idea of what he is going through can help you deal with the situation better.

Don’t brush it aside It’s hard to understand what someone going through anxiety is feeling. A good way to avoid making things worse is to never say anything along these lines—‘Just don’t think about it’, ‘Cheer up, it’ll be fine!’ ‘Don’t worry about something so silly, you can get over this’. Instead, let them know that you’ll be there with them no matter what and they don’t have to go through it alone. Sometimes, just listening to them is the biggest support you can provide.

Ask them what they need The simplest way to help your partner with anxiety is to ask them how you can help them. This shows them that you’re willing to be there for them and help them through this hard time. It also shows that you acknowledge that it’s not something that can instantly be fixed with encouragement or distractions and are willing to do what will help them most in the moment.

Accompany them to a therapist Suggest your partner talk to a professional and seek help. If he is reluctant to do so, don’t force him. Instead, suggest that you could accompany them too. Taking this first step can be hard but it might get easier if he has you by his side.

Escape plan The thing about anxiety is that sometimes it needs no trigger. If your partner and you are heading out, he might be comforted by the idea of an escape plan. Discuss a word or a signal he can use in case he wants to get out of a certain situation or outing and discuss how the two of you will execute the plan in case it comes to that.

Avoid alcohol or substance abuse Helping a loved one deal with a mental illness can take quite a toll on you. A lot of times people turn to alcohol, smoking or other such means as a way of escape and dealing with the stress of this. While this is a temporary fix, it spells more doom in the future. Seek a therapist and find a healthier coping mechanism.