The LAST Blog Post You Ever Need To Read To Be Successful – (SERIOUSLY!)

Every day there’s a new blog post, podcast, book or expert telling you exactly what to eat (and/or not eat), when to eat, how to exercise (or not exercise), which supplements to take, how much you need to sleep… All you have to do is follow the protocol and you’ll lose weight, perform like a beast, start feeling better, see your abs, cure your disease, have the best sex of your life, meet the man or woman of your dreams and generally just reach a state of pure euphoria. And there’s the success stories – hundreds of people writing and telling how it ‘worked for them’ – all of them with before and after pictures and amazing stories. This shit works – there’s no denying it.

But wait… WHAT is it exactly that works? One website says you can have rice and the next tells you that it’s gonna kill you faster than a gunshot wound to the head. One podcast tells you never to run and the next says that running isn’t so bad. The food lists are conflicting the supplement recommendations are all different; and should you intermittent fast or is it going to mess you up? This is CONFUSING!!!

You do your best to take everything you read, hear, and see and you put together the “perfect” program – yep, you’re gonna be the next success story on that website… You’re going strict AIP (autoimmune protocol), very low carb, with a side of intermittent fasting. I mean, how can this not work…

Fast forward 3-6 months – WHAT FREAKING GIVES??? Why the hell are you not a success story yet? Seriously, you are in the EXACT same spot you were when you started this life-changing plan; in fact, some days you feel even worse than you did when you started and you haven’t even lost ½ a pound?!?!?! It doesn’t make sense – you did EVERYTHING the blog post, podcast, expert, etc. said; like, followed it to the letter. You start reading more blog posts and now you’re convinced that it’s your thyroid, or maybe candida or it could be SIBO or leaky gut… There is DEFINITELY something wrong with you and you’re not going to stop searching (this may involve reading copious blog posts and/or message boards, investing $1,000’s in doctors, medical tests and/or supplements or just switching to the latest AWESOME program that’s circulating) until you figure it out. You’re uber frustrated, stressed as all get out and a little pissed off too. How come this works for EVERYONE else, but not for you?

Okay, if any of this hits home – the first step is to CALM DOWN, BREATH and just be. This isn’t cause for completely abandoning all the positive changes you’ve made and hitting every Dunkin’ Donuts, Burger King and Taco Bell within a 25 mile radius. It doesn’t mean that you should stop exercising or that you’re broken. What it does mean is that the things that you’ve been doing either need a little tweaking OR that just because the ‘protocol of the month’ seems to be right for EVERYONE else, that it’s right for you too. Here’s the deal folks – there aren’t groves of people rushing out to share their stories of un-success. What you see in blog posts and on message boards and hear about in podcasts, yeah, it’s real – BUT it’s not always the whole story. Success stories are the ones that get shared and broadcasted – you’re not going to hear about the less than happy endings and the exceptions to what seems to be the rule. Know that you aren’t alone in your struggles and it’s all going to be okay. Really, it’s going to be OKAY!

Sometimes we get so caught up in what everyone else is doing and telling us that we need to do that we stop listening to the signals that our bodies are sending us. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Being in ketosis, intermittent fasting, carb-backloading, chugging Bullet Proof coffee, etc. – is not right for every ‘body’. Some of us need some starch and GASP – that may even mean some grains or legumes… (HOLY BUCKETS!! YES, I DID SAY THAT!) And guess what? Fruit is NOT the devil either – not even BANANAS!!!! (I know – this is getting downright CRAZY…)

Sometimes the STRESS that we place on what we put in our mouths is, in and of itself, enough to make us sick and unsuccessful in our endeavors. We get so obsessed with trying to ‘feel’ an effect from something that we can actually create that effect or symptom. I’m not joking. I’ve done it to myself and I see it over and over again in my clients.

**Example** “I added nuts back to my diet yesterday and I’m not sure, but I think I might be a little more tired and I have this twitch in my knee that wasn’t there the day before.” Bear in mind this person did a pretty intense workout the same day the nuts were consumed and has only been averaging about 5 hours of sleep per night for the past 3 nights… Um, yeah, let’s go ahead and blame the tiredness and the knee pain on the almonds. It’s a classic case of overthinking and LOOKING for something bad to happen.

Now, don’t misunderstand me, there is definite validity to food intolerances and reactions in a lot of folks – but this isn’t an across the board phenomenon. Not EVERYONE is sensitive to dairy, legumes, nuts, nightshades or even gluten (yeah, I went there.). Food does not cause everything and cannot fix everything. This doesn’t mean that you should go buy a box of Pop-Tarts, some bean and cheese dip and a bag of Fritos – but what it does mean, is that you may just need to relax around food and your attitude toward it. It’s just FOOD!!!

The same can be said about weight and body composition– there’s a point when the stress around achieving a certain body fat percentage or number on the scale can deter any and all progress. When you place your life and happiness on hold UNTIL you lose 10 pounds or get your body fat under a certain percentage – your only focus becomes those 10 pounds or that percentage – and when they aren’t magically reached the end result is depression, unhappiness, frustration and anger.
NEWS FLASH!! Your entire life should NOT revolve around what you put in your mouth, how much you weigh and/or how you look. Life isn’t going to magically “start” and be awesome when you dial you’re eating perfectly every single day, when you lose weight or when you’re abs are clearly visible. And not everything you read on the internet or hear on a podcast is your magic answer too. It’s time to STOP – STOP placing so damn much focus on food, weight, exercise, and body comp – it’s NOT WORTH IT (unless your health is in serious danger because of it). I’m not kidding when I say that no one else cares if you weigh 10 pounds more or less, if you drop your body fat 2 more percent or if you think you feel tired when you eat nuts – this is SMALL stuff and obsessing about it is sucking the life out of you. It’s NOT okay to spend your life caught up in the idea that life sucks because you don’t weigh a certain amount or because you look a certain way. Until you start loving yourself – where you are and for who you are – you aren’t going to find happiness.

Surround yourself with people that love you for who you are and where you are – not for what you eat or don’t eat or how you look. Go out there and be YOU! Listen to your body – and do the things that make you feel good long term. That doesn’t mean bingeing, stuffing your feelings with food, over exercising or completely throwing away everything you’ve been doing to be healthy. It does mean living, being and knowing that who you are, where you are is enough. Stop trying so hard to do everything right by the world’s standard and start doing what feels right for YOU! There is no blog post, book, podcast or ‘expert’ out there that can know better than you what makes YOU feel good. Go out there – live and be the best you that you can be – because that’s enough.

Amy Kubal

Amy Kubal is a Registered "Paleo" Dietitian and the ring leader of Robb's RD consulting team. She works with a wide range of clients from competitive athletes to those dealing with complex health problems. Check out her bio and consulting options, and her blog Fuel As Rx to get your Paleo nutrition fix.

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Comments

Excellent piece Robb! Have been waiting for someone with some clout in the Paleo world to write something like this for some time.

I’ve often thought it would be so useful if various health organisations (eg IFM, etc) would do conferences purely of case studies of failures – people who didn’t get well with the methods tried. Then to have other attendees suggest a way forward (the danger being it would then turn into a contest of “my protocol is better than yours”). If people could refrain from being jerks though conferences like this could really help delineate good treatments for “resistant” cases.

So much yes! For this reason, I truly love reading people’s un-success stories. Our bodies are not one size fits all and there are a lot of people out there experiencing the un-success, but so often all there is to read is the “this is the miracle that makes everyone feel and look amazing.”

Thank you for writing this!! It brought tears to my eyes..every last word was absorbed and I will have to keep reading it to finally live it! From the bottom of my heart you wrote exactly how I felt and feel.

I am glad you are writing truth about those of us that struggle even when we follow the protocols. I am going to try my darnest to “breathe” and enjoy life and begin to “embrace” me. Thank you!!

Thanks Amy! I have struggled with being overweight since grade school. It definitely gives me some body image and food issues. I’ve done some crazy things to loose weight. Paleo and crossfit have worked the best. I still need to work on the body image. I might never have abs. It would be swell though. I just want to be healthy.

Hi Amy, you seem to have a lot of posts that come from an ED background. You’re not it’s not so complicated. Once you get started and are underway, try something out, see if it works for you. Try one thing at a time and see how you look, feel, and perform. Once you know the effect it has on you, you can decide whether to keep it or discard it, then test the next thing.

While we’re not all unique snowflakes, we may have different needs depending on genome, epigenome, or gut flora species. And what worked a year ago, may not work today. It’s a journey, not a destination.

For example, some of us may have extra copies of the AMY1 SNP allowing us to eat far more carbs. Others, do not and do far better with low carbs. Some do great with very low carbs and run into trouble with zero carbs. Some don’t have the fast coffee metabolizer gene, while others can chug 8 cups a day and sleep like a newborn.

Some may have MTHFR defects and may need methylated folate/B12/B6. Or maybe just folate and not B6, B12, or some combination thereof.

But many of us like reading blogs and learning, even if it doesn’t apply to us. Saying that your one post is the canonical LAST blog post we ever need to read is a bit presumptuous.

Sure, not everyone thirsts for knowledge, those can take your advice and stop reading. I for one will keep reading, even about things that don’t affect me. Because I love to learn. Because what I know may help others.

It’s important to remember that not everyone has the same ED background that some of us may actually find knowledge fascinating and are adult enough to not get ourselves in trouble by trying the new hotness.

Some of us can take bits of pieces from various sources and model them into a coherent model that works for us, and works well. n=1. For the win!

I didn’t intend to be presumptuous with the blog title and readign lots of different blogs is great – BUT it’s important to be able to sort through what does and soesn’t apply to you and to not get hung up on every new thing. There are SO many people out there that are confused and frustrated. This blog post was fueled by feedback and situations that many of my clients present. I see this EVERY DAY and I KNOW that there are others out there that are struggling with the same thoughts and situations. I completely understand that not everyone has an ED history – but there are a lot of people that struggle with some of the same thought processes. I’m glad that you’re able to figure it all out rationally and logically for yourself, but this isn’t something that a lot of folks can do. This post was written for those that are struggling.

Amy,thanks so much for this post! I became caught up in this whole whirlwind of trying to figure out what next latest thing I should try and lamenting over why this didn’t produce the results I wanted or I “failed” at something that seemed to work like magic for those people in the success stories. Now I just go do — I do obstacle races, I do running races, I enjoy good whole foods and don’t worry as much about whether I should carb cyvke, etc. I get a lot more satisfaction from crossing a finish line, completing a personal best at the gym, and relishing in friends’ and family’s accomplishments more than I ever could relish in looking like a fitness magazine model. Not that I wouldn’t love looking like that…..but it isn’t the most important thing and certainly not worth the obsession and stress.

I think sometimes this is the benefit of advice that isn’t too restrictive. Telling people to monitor different facets of their diet could be counter-productive when a bit of reassurance is all that’s needed. And sometimes it’s a person’s sleep habits or stressful lifestyle that’s inhibiting them.

I wish I’d have never learned of the effect stress can have on our body’s and minds. Now I get stressed at the thought that I might get stressed and inhibit my health hehe!

For years I stressed over what was okay to eat and what was evil, got into heated online discussions, and then got totally fed up with everything about weight loss, Paleo/Primal/PHD etc.

I started eating anything I wanted (Still GF, but lots of GF junk.) After a while, I felt really, really bad.

So I decided to figure it out for myself. I did a partial fast. I ate only a few types of fruits/veggies for a while. Then I slowly re-introduced animal foods, more veggies/fruits, nuts, seeds and fats, one at a time. I learned what foods nourish MY body and what foods make ME feel bad. I’m in a much better place, though I’m still learning. I’m back eating mostly Paleo-style. Full circle.

I still read all the Paleo-type blogs, but I know for sure now that nobody has all the answers that are perfect for each individual. We all have to find what’s right for us and not get too obsessive, dogmatic, or stressed over it.

I believe that the basic rules of keeping shape are the same for everyone. Though, everyone should adapt them for himself. For me fitness is the best way. When I stop going to the gym I immediately gain weight (unless I starve myself). For me all the diets are very depressive, I can not live without sweets and cookies, that’s why I choose fitness. Regular training is very rewarding: I’ve noticed my first results within 1 month, and it was an awesome stimulation for future trainings. When I feel tired I take Super Army Formula by Military Grade and it quickly restores my strength and enthusiasm. It provides the necessary nutritional supply, which is vital when you are training intensively. Thus, nothing prevents me from eating occasional cookie or a bar of chocolate when I want it so much.

Thank you so much for this! I just found out I have Hashimotos, significant food intolerances to egg, dairy, beef and of course wheat and gluten…plus my adrenal tests came back basically the lowest my doc had ever seen. Pretty overwhelmed with everything I was reading – do this, don’t do that but if you have this you should do that. I really needed to this reality check. THANK YOU!

Very good article, Amy! I suffer from hypothyroidism, and I used to weigh 75 kilos. Then, with the help of a renowned nutritionist, I was introduced to The Paleo Dief, which changed my life. Within few months, I lost all the weight and I was able to recover my initial weight I had before getting diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I also went through before/after pictures, which allowed me to see the difference! Still today, I am unable to recognise my new body, because I have been overweight for almost 5 years, and I never thought it would be possible to lose weight one day! You are right, most of what causes weight gain is the stress we put on the food. However what I find difficult here in Belgium where I live is that in many places, when I eat out with friends, I am limited with food choices. I am also allergic to gluten, and gluten is everywhere! And bringing my own food in front of friends will make me appear awkward! For instance, yesterday I went to a spa, and when we went to have something in the cafe, there were only cakes and toast…therefore I hope the Paleo awareness will be spread in more countries because today we are more numerous to have food I tolerances! Well done!

Robb, unfortunately I’ve only recently heard of you and the podcast, on an episode of Barbell Shrugged. Ever since I’ve been listening to your podcast from the beginning, along with Dave Asprey’s Bulletproof Radio. I’m currently on episode 45 and I heard you answer a guy’s question regarding his wife’s gestational diabetes. You said that taking an Oral Glucose Tolerance test is potentially harmful to the fetus and that the A1C is “Gold Standard.” The reason I being this up is my wife and I are having a baby due in January and I heard the mid wife mention the oral glucose test coming up soon and if it’s harmful to the baby I want to ask about the A1C. In short can you tell me why it could be/is harmful to the baby so that when I ask them about this I have some ammo when/if they trying to give me shit about it. I’ve had one of my wife’s doctors get SUUUUUPER defensive when I asked some question and when my wifr used the phrase “I’ve read that…..” The doctor ended up loudly (basically yelling) saying, “YOU NEED TO STOP READING AND LOOKING UP THINGS.” PLEASE HELP! I’m new to this whole commenting on blogs so an email would be prefered. Your podcast rocks picking up the book this week! Not sure if this matters but my wife is 27 and I’m 26.

Hah! While one size does not fit all, sometimes, just as you think you’ve got it licked, your needs change and you have to think again! Now I’m in my mid-40s on a hormonal roller coaster, what worked in my 20s and 30s doesn’t now. It feels like a constant battle to stay on top of the weight gain, so I’m taking a non gluten chill pill and treating myself with compassion, a big dollop of wholesome foods and some furious but low impact exercise regimes. Happy ageing people!

Hi Amy, gosh you make me laugh.
I’m very aware I have this tendency within me….had lots and lots of health issues so lots of well meaning and someimes helpful advice but it makes my head HURT 1 I’ve noticed how frantic and out of touch with my expereince I can get and how easy it is to be the “butterfly” flitting from one thing to another thinking and researching but not doing or god forbid chilling. Also beating myself up when I cant stick to a plan 100% which is actually a ridiculous thing to even expect of oneself or others.
I think you are a wise woman and am buying you a pretend g/f sugar fee chia seed muffin with a side of beef jerky as I type or indeed a kick arse gluten and sugar FULL cup cake with serious icing….and a side of whipped cream
lets go with the flow baby ! please keep writing as you rock..

This is one of the best blog posts I’ve read in a long time. I have had many “teachers” along the way in my weight-loss journey. Discovering I was sensitive to grains and sugar has been life-changing. But learning to be in connection with myself again means paying attention to where I am at both emotionally and physically. And that what has made me successful on this journey…not what I eat or don’t eat. Thank you!

This post has given me an epiphany. Thank you! FWIW I’ve tried more than a few things to lose my belly….Body for Life, Burn Fat Feed Muscle, p90x, T25 to name some…. and I’ve had moderate but unsustainable success. Sure I can drag myself through a 90 day challenge but would never get a raving “success story” body. So I’d give up and rebound to being borderline obese. Then when I get close to my heaviest weight I look for something else and get overwhelmed by ALL of the “wildly popular” plans, the “nutrition authorities” who vehemently disagree with each other (and occasionally themselves!), the “must-have” supplements that cost a fortune, the sheer tribalism of crossfit / beachbody (I was even a coach once!) / Weight Watchers or whatever… it’s WORSE than politics. Fitness gurus who always seem to have the answer for a price are scam artists imo. They don’t get attention or business by saying “find your own path” or saying “my plan may not work / is unsustainable for anyone with a life / is dangerous for your health” etc. They have to say they have all the answers (disclaimer: check with your doctor first in case they are full of shit, but who actually does that?) when it is abundantly clear through all the noise that no one can have all the answers for everyone. They could recommend ten wildly different plans to thousands of people and take credit for all the success while simply shrugging at the ‘un-success’ as you put it. These gurus are a dime a dozen. They each have their own dogma and a small army of converts who will (often literally) sell their stuff for them and yell at anyone with a different opinion. All I want is to be some sort of “success story” healthwise but the more experience I have trying to swim in this ocean of overstated opinion, pseudoscience, cherrypicked scientific studies, and outright lying, the more I think it’s not worth tuning in to any of it. I’m almost 38 with kids to raise and a beautiful wife… I don’t need to spend any more of my precious time sifting the internet for the next magic bullet for a shredded body (fasting!) when I should be coming to terms with who I am and what doesn’t work for me. Thank you and I mean that sincerely 🙂

I love this article. I have just ran across the Paelo diet and I was wondering has it been tested in a Cancer patient to see if there is postive effects. i definetlu need to maintain or gain weight, not lose. So I wondered if not losing was an option. Just to maintain. What I see on the list seems doable and I do have diabetes. Which blood sugars do not seem to be regulated by the foods I eat right now.

Thanks Amy! I am one of those obsessive people trying to find the correct food eating for me. I’ve been told to do this and do that. I’ve read so much I have gotten lost in the process. I needed to hear your words and be okay with not being exactly what I want to be. I do suffer from all kinds of ailments and look to food to fix me instead of medications.

Amy,
OMG, this post hit the target! I’ve been healing from mold poisoning/Hashimoto’s with Paleo diet for the past 4 years. Made some good progress, but still not to full health. (I’m so guilty of that addiction: podcasts, YouTube, supplements, saunas, detoxes and every other health-promoting idea, to the point where my family must think I’m a little over the top). Since I’m still yearning for my prior healthy self, I continue to search for the answers. But there’s SOOOOO much conflicting information. I feel so overwhelmed most the time. Surprisingly during these last 4 years, I never heard about Keto until this past June. Since I have BRCA2, and I still wasn’t 100%, I thought going low carb would be “the answer.” I felt good on it for about a month, then became extremely exhausted for a full two-week period (even on 70 to 80/day). My naturopath said I probably needed to up my carbs, or it wasn’t for me. Yet I feel a duty to be on it because of my genes and hoping to dodge cancer/Alzheimer’s in the future. But every time I try to start it again, my gut feeling says, this isn’t right for me. I’ve been ignoring it by copiously reading everything about low carb and trying to convince myself this is what I should do. But I also have a history of ED and I feel like it’s starting to creep back up. Reading your article really opened up my eyes and gave me the comfort I needed. Maybe I HAVE been going to extremes. It was almost as if a big weight was taken off of me. I’m still going to eat healthy, but I think taking the pressure off myself and just trying to enjoy life and not worry about EVERY – LITTLE – PIECE – OF – FOOD I put it my mouth would be my biggest stress reliever!

This was great! I have become exhausted and intimidated by the degree of detail many people are analyzing their diets with. It’s crazy-making and I’ve been dying to say just what you wrote. And the “adding nuts back to my diet” story really amused me. I’ve seen people say “I’m feeling really bad” and I’ve responded “Do you suppose you might just have caught a bug or something?” Anathema!!!!

Great blog post! Thank you for bringing some sanity to what can be a very complicated issue (if you make it). I don’t know how many Emails I get where on says follow this exercise program or never do these exercises and then another says don’t follow that exercise program and these are the best exercises to do. It only gets more confusing with diet advice. It’s so easy to get caught up in all of that when you are looking for that one change that will restore health. As you say, there is no magic bullet. Thanks for the reminder!

Orhorexia. Where obesssion meets eating disorders.
Thank you Amy! This message is way over due in the noisy sell-me-something intereebs space 🙂 Ive seen so many clients over the years with obsessive eating behaviours dressed up as ‘being healthy’, that it makes me weep every time a new ‘phenomenal diet’ hits the market promising riches and gold. I aliken it to those house makeover TV programs where, in one weekend, a garden is transformed, or over 6 weeks a couple gut and refurbish am entire house. There’s so much smoke and mirrors going on that ahould anyone ever attempt the same, would not only be all consumed by the project, they couldnt help but fail. I especially love your closing comment – you are enough just as you are. Now get out there and friggin’ live your life!!! Love your work Amy and thank you – Alexis

Thank you for sharing this again. I need a constant reminder to listen to my body first. It will tell me more than any expert. I have made significant progress following a Paleo lifestyle, but still have many health issues. Time to go back to the drawing board and see where I can modify to best work for me.

Thankyou thankyou thankyou! To ALL the subjects you have written above!! It’s like you were talking to me!
I have too tried “All the things” including keto, fasting, low carb, etc etc! And thinking why the F is this not working for me….. hormones is the answer. I went to see a nutritionist- increased my calories by 600-800 per day, introduced carbs (yes sometimes bananas, which are delicious by the way) and started focusing on how I feel and stress and sleep. Measurements are now going down with eating more and no longer fasting- who would have thought?

But a massive yessss to not focusing on weight, thinking it will change something. Massive reminder to all of us to focus on the more important things. Thanks so much for the article!

Excellent article. I’m never going to be 5’10” with legs up to my neck but I can be a damn fine specimen of a 57-year-old grandma and feel good about myself. I’m into the 2nd month of Paleo and I can see a difference; I’m eating what I like and I’m never hungry. There’s the occasional sugar craving but I can get past that.

Thank you so much for saying this and putting it out there!! I thought I was a bit alone on this and going a little nutty with all the reading and listening to pod casts! Like I never Listen to music in the car anymore! It does get overwhelming, and then very frustrating. So thank you I am Sure many of us needed to hear that!

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