Survey on Masculinity and Femininity

I have a few questions for you on the topic of masculinity and femininity. I got these questions as part of a survey for a discussion group I was leading. The goal is to engage your thought process through these questions and reveal what you think. Please keep your actual answer(s) short and concise, but feel free to comment and discuss on others’ responses, too.

“How to Talk to Girls”, photo model kept anonymous

Where do you think people get their understanding of manhood and womanhood? Where did you?

What do you think is a major difference (or two) – aside from the obvious biological ones – between men and women?

Who should “lead” in a romantic relationship? (Feel free to briefly describe what you mean by “leading”)

A man and a woman are walking down the street one late evening and are confronted by a mugger with a knife. The woman is well-trained in martial arts and can easily disarm the mugger. Should the guy still step in? Why or why not?

Question #4 is probably the most fun out of the group. You could probably just answer THAT question in such a way where you give answers for the first 3 questions, if you really wanted to! But feel free to answer ANY or all of these questions!

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10 comments

1. From books, movies, stories we were told when we were kids
2. Men tend to be a bit more laid back
3. I suppose of a lead when you need to. Sometimes the guy does the leading and sometimes the lady does. Coorperation is far more important than who leads
4. Step in only if she looks like she needs help. Of course since he might not know her or her martial art ability he’s going to step in either way.

2. The way men and women react to social pressures and how each gender is expected to behave.

3. In general, no one should be leading in a romantic relationship. There may be situations where one person finds themselves taking on more of a responsibility for a particular decision or action, but on the whole, a romantic relationship should be a partnership.

4. The man and woman should beat the crap out of the idiot mugger together, and I’m not even joking. If you’re in the position to help, you should always. If the man had been walking down that street with his male buddy he would have jumped in, right? So why should it be different that it’s a woman?

Heh heh… all I have to say for now is w.r.t. #4, if I was walking down the street with Jet Li and someone pulled a knife on us, I’d take a step back and let the “Hero” take care of business 😛 Same thing goes if it was Chun-Li 😛

I was in the minority in my group when that question came up, though, lol.

For sure…if I saw anyone going Jackie Chan on a mugger, I’d stand back too. I’m sure I’d just get in the way 😛

Our responses have one thing in common though, in that the sex of the person doesn’t factor into our answers at all. For me, it’s more about common courtesy (the responsibility to help fellow citizens in need) and for you it doesn’t matter who you are, it comes down to who possesses the most self defense skills.

Well, Jackie Chan is kinda getting old… so I’d be a bit concerned about him, lol. But actually, I’m pretty conservative in my view of gender, so I don’t think equality is synonymous with identicality – in other words, I think gender does affect how I view a lot of situations and relationships.

But I’ll probably have to answer my own four questions to actually explain where along the “spectrum” my views would lie.

#1 – Our parents and culture is where I got it from.
#2 – Yes, there’s differences.
#3 – The guy should take the lead.
#4 – The guys should let the girl take him out, because being a leader means making the right decisions. But if there’s any doubt in her being able to successfully disarming the mugger, then the guy should step in.

1. I think most of my understanding of manhood and womanhood came from: i) my parents; ii) watching TV and social culture; iii) how God relates and talks to men and women in the Bible

2. I think there is a MYRIAD of differences between men and women, both less obvious biological/physiological differences, like the effect of testosterone on the brain from birth, and many psychological differences. Men and women are often VERY different. There is a lot of intra-gender variability, though, which means that within a gender, you’ll have a range of characteristics, some of which you might typically associate with the other gender (e.g. men who are a lot more “in touch” with feelings and emotions), but even in those cases, I still think even those characteristics are still influenced by their gender. There are a lot of social differences, too, and sometimes they make a lot of sense. For example, traditionally, men in societies are expected to be the primary financial providers of their family, and also provide physical protection. That’s not just a cultural “bias” – it makes sense sociologically, because child bearing alone makes it more difficult for a young mother to fulfill the role of primary provider, and genetic differences make it more difficult for a woman to provide physical protection (i.e. because of smaller size, height, muscle-to-weight ratio, etc.).

3. Who should lead in a romantic relationship? I think while both the man and woman should be taking initiative in having the healthiest relationship possible, I think the man should feel a certain kind of responsibility to lead more in certain ways. I think this is what most women will attest to being what they’d prefer, as well, at least in the areas of knowing that he is pursuing her, for example in asking her out to begin with, and knowing that he is thinking ahead as to where the relationship is going for the both of them, etc. Opening doors for her isn’t just some archaic cultural pratice – it can be a way of expressing love and care, that he is wanting to do whatever he can to make her feel cared for, secure in the relationship, and appreciated. Again, I think it’s worth reiterating that I think the woman can take initiative towards building the relationship, too, but I think it’s just… different.

4. I don’t think there’s a clear-cut answer, but I think the two friends (or whatever their relationship is) should be thinking about what is most practical. For the man, though, I think he should be for whatever option is the safest for the both of them, albeit with priority going towards her safety, and he should do whatever it takes to achieve that goal. So if that means him taking his chances with the assailant while she has a chance to escape and get help, or if that means that he doesn’t put up a fight and they just hand over what the mugger wants, or if it means he lets her do the heroic thing and take the assailant down, it’s fine. Whatever’s best for her and/or the both of them.