To not buy my friend a birthday present?

It was my birthday a few months ago, she came to see me, but didn't bring anything. Not even a card. Now I really don't want to sound materialistic, because I appreciate her company more than anything and I don't need cards or presents. But it's weird right? To turn up on someone's birthday with nothing and not even make any kind of excuse?

She has always done this. Every birthday. And I always buy her something/make a big fuss. I feel super awkward bringing it up, I can't just say 'erm why haven't you got me a present'.

It's her birthday in a few months and today she's told me what she wants me to get her.

AIBU to just not get her anything? And how do I even bring it up? I don't want to appear grabby I just don't understand it and i am starting to feel a bit resentful.

She's got a nerve to tell you what to buy her when you don't even get a card!

It's ok to be honest with her. "It makes me feel taken advantage of and that this is one sided when you tell me what gift to buy you but you do nothing at all for my birthday, so no. I won't be buying you a gift. "

Not unreasonable at all. I don't buy for anyone other than family members because I'm tight I don't expect anyone to buy me gifts so have never got into the buying, or card habit. Tell her straight that you've bought for her in the past and she's never returned the favour so you won't be buying for her any longer. Why on earth she thinks it's acceptable to not buy for you or even give you a card but request a specific item from you is beyond me!

Agree with what has already been said. Just say 'sorry, I didn't think we were doing gifts any more. You didn't get me one, and I didn't want to make you feel awkward by buying you one. Really excited about celebrating with you though!'

That is beyond what is acceptable and I would love to know whats going on in her head that makes this right . If she is against buying presents for friends (perhaps) why does she allow you to continue? Or maybe you just didnt get the letter she sent out that explained ?

Of course you should not buy her a card or present ,nor should you offer any excuses as to why. If she asks you outright then tell her directly. What a user she is.

She sounds well cheeky! Not with not getting you anything, adults don't need to do presents but definitely with expecting something! She sounds like she was spoilt as a child and only programmed to receive.

I would expect a card from a good friendA present is a bonus, I would be really happy with a bunch of supermarket flowers for £3/4.To not get a card for my birthday from a good friend would really upset me Cards are as cheap as 50p in The Card Factory.

Just call her as normal, chat, and say " I can't afford that belt thing you want- and anyway, I've been thinking - as you don't get me anything, it's a bit odd you ask me" Or email her, as I can't think of a response she could make without being defensive and it becames an arguement.

Stop this silly habit. She sounds very rude and grabby. I woukd have asked her where my birthday present was, with a comment like that. Get her nada, zilch, nothing. I woukd have told her that you will be getting her, what you get from her every year, cheeky monkey.

Questioningstuff I had a 'friend' like this for years. She was in college and I was working full time. I paid for everything. We both smoked at the time, and I would call over and she would say " Can we smoke your cigarettes,I'm saving mine?"WTF?!I took us on nights out,I paid for everything. Taxis, food,cinema everything. I never thought about it because she was my best friend.Then slowly I started to realise that she actually had more than me. She lived at home and got a lot of money etc from her folks. And she never paid for anything. Not 1 drink for me.I dumped her. And I never even missed her,which proves how much I just didn't need that crap.Either confront her or dump her,she isn't acting like a friend!

I wouldn't say your budget doesn't extend to presents anymore, as really that isn't why you're not buying for her. Tell her, as someone suggested, that it seems rather odd of her to ask as she's never bought you anything.

In the past I have been as rubbish as your friend - always meaning to buy friends gifts but never actually getting round to it. My brain just isn't that organised and procrastinating is my thing. Over time my friends have said things, or stopped buying, and it has made me see that it was unkind and important to them. I'm much better now. I guess you could say they've trained me!