1. Chop celery and garlic. Add to hot sauce pot with 1 tbsp olive oil.
2. Add tomatoes and stew until boil; reduce heat and let simmer 45 minutes.
3. Take off heat, add chili powder, and let chill. Meanwhile, run upstairs and slip into something a little more comfortable.
4. Curl up with your special guest and let the spice of garlic and chilies spark a night of passion!

EASY CHEESY NOODLES – 8/1A simple recipe with simple flavors – the perfect way to resolve a simple misunderstanding with a loved one. Your husband will adore you when you plate this comfort food, his absolute favorite in the world.

1. Make the goddamn sandwich.
2. Enjoy it with your feet up on the couch, drinking your seventh beer while watching football.
3. Don’t wash up – your wife will do it. She won’t mind. It’s not like she has her own life, anyway.

DOGSHIT – 8/5Know what, Tom? I did sleep with Raul the caterer. And it was fantastic. Maybe if you paid a little attention to me for once in your miserable life, I wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere for affection. You were never there for me. Never.