Where Did "Don't Trust Men" Belief Come From? [IFS Session]

Uncategorized
Jul 29, 2019

Find the root cause of bad relationship patterns and overcome it for good. Learn the pivotal childhood incident that caused JB to take on the belief "Can't Trust Men" and how she erased this belief. Learn more about how Internal Family Systems can fix every area of your life: [0:55] JB’s relationship status[1:25] Current beliefs about men[1:40] “Men ________; Men always __________; Men will _________; Men are _________”[2:30] Friday night blues…[4:00] The critical inner chatter that would happen if a nice guy was in front of JB[5:45] Girlfriends’ feedback about JB’s attitude[6:18] Stages of spiritual love [8:00] What prevents surrendering into the polarities of love[10:00] How JB’s Protectors make her react to men[11:20] What JB’s Protectors look like[12:50] How she feels towards her Protectors[14:00] How her body reacts to her Protectors[16:00] Getting connected to her Protectors[17:55] The job of these Protectors in romance[19:40] What Protectors are AFRAID of if they don’t do their job to hold JB back in romance[21:40] Updating the Protectors on how they are holding JB back from great love life[26:00] Negotiating with Protectors to lessen their negative grip[28:00] The original toxic scene that had JB not trust men[30:30] JB rescues this part [32:25] The origins of the negative beliefs about men[34:00] Additional beliefs about life and men[35:50] How her father didn’t protect her[36:50] More beliefs about how to live to protect herself[37:45] How father’s neglect show up in beliefs about men[39:00] Belief: “I don’t have the right ____________”[42:30] “I have spent my life being around men who______”[42:45] What my 1st and 2nd husband did to me as a result of childhood beliefs about men[44:30] Why the energies from the past show up in the present relationship[44:50] What self-sabotaging behaviors JB had that invited toxicity in her last relationship[45:20] Through love you are trying to finish this out[45:45] Spiritual goals of soul mate[48:40] What triggers JB to go off on her man[50:50] Reframe of father story and how he didn’t show up for his daughter[53:00] Re-parenting her 9-year-old self and rewiring her beliefs[53:30] Explanation of what Dad had to go through as a kid that made him an incompetent parent[54:45] Falling madly in love with herself[57:50] She can safely be a girly girl now [58:54] Why it wasn’t safe to show up feminine[1:01:20] Why 9-year-old part needs to be taught how to show up in bedroom and needs a trip to the lingerie store[1:05:20] Transformation of Protectors to new roles[1:08:00] Unburdening of negative men beliefs[1:10:30] New positive beliefs about men [1:13:00] Reuniting with other parts of her[1:14:00] Appreciation for how the young part of her had been protecting her[1:17:10] Reassurance of why it’s ok to be beautiful[1:18:15] Why men show up as mirrors of brokenness of your parents[1:19:20] When you are healed, you will attract this type of men[1:24:20] What happens when put too much pressure on son and what kind of woman he would attract[1:27:00] Grateful for giant army of Protectors[1:28:00] Higher-level explanation of the people that have hurt us[1:28:15] Loving all the people that have hurt her[1:30:00] Why other personal growth programs are not enough[1:30:30] How Internal Family Systems doesn’t see hurts as problems[1:31:30] Integration of parts and love [1:33:00] The big AHA from the session