Happy thought

I have heard people say that they know they want more children because when they look around the dinner table, it feels like someone is missing. Does anyone else feel more than complete with just one? I've always felt that we were one and done, but today something happened that made me feel so good about it. I had a personalized Christmas ornament made with all of our names on it. This includes my husband, me, our son and our dog. I got such a warm, fuzzy feeling inside and thought, "yes, this is my family and we are complete." It just felt so good and I wanted to share it.

I don't think I feel like anyone is missing from our table or that our family is "complete", I just know that I can't handle any more children. Having another would destroy my marriage, kill my sex drive, and loose the last bit of my sanity.

Not to.mention we can't financially afford another. It would be financial suicide.

Yep, we feel totally complete. My mom had custom ornaments made with the three of us and our names and they are perfect. Whenever I see a photo of the three of us, it feels perfect. We don't in any way feel like someone is missing.

"A man and a woman had a little baby...yes they did...they had three in the family. That's a magic number."

I've been thinking lately that we have the best of both worlds. We were fortunate enough to have a baby and are going through the parenting experience but we only have one so we won't go completely insane and not keep our personal identities.

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DS 07/12

When people ask me to do ridiculous things, I don't do them. Even if they're addicted to morphine.-MilaMeow

I say if you need to procreate to find people to put at your dinner table, maybe you should work on other things, like social skills. God knows mine are shaky at best, but I still manage to fill up the house at holidays and even weekends. At all major holidays we have a standing invitation to anyone from work who doesn't have family to go home to or is too far from theirs, or who just doesn't want to make the effort for a big meal for one/two people, and we never ever lack wonderful company.

On the quieter days, we still have SO, DD, MIL (mother-in-law) and I. Plus dogs. No lack of company there either.

I feel the same way about people who want more children JUST for the purpose of "giving" their child a friend. If you have no confidence that your child can make their own friends, popping one out is not the answer. The answer is focusing more time and energy into raising the one you have so that they can find their own way in the world without you having to make a friend for them.

We have more than enough.
I say if you need to procreate to find people to pu...

Posted
11/08/2015

We have more than enough.

I say if you need to procreate to find people to put at your dinner table, maybe you should work on other things, like social skills. God knows mine are shaky at best, but I still manage to fill up the house at holidays and even weekends. At all major holidays we have a standing invitation to anyone from work who doesn't have family to go home to or is too far from theirs, or who just doesn't want to make the effort for a big meal for one/two people, and we never ever lack wonderful company.

On the quieter days, we still have SO, DD, MIL and I. Plus dogs. No lack of company there either.

I feel the same way about people who want more children JUST for the purpose of "giving" their child a friend. If you have no confidence that your child can make their own friends, popping one out is not the answer. The answer is focusing more time and energy into raising the one you have so that they can find their own way in the world without you having to make a friend for them.

Ha! That's a great point. I 100% agree.

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DS 07/12

When people ask me to do ridiculous things, I don't do them. Even if they're addicted to morphine.-MilaMeow

I never really got that something feels missing from our dinner table either. And, originally, I wanted two kids. I use to think about what it woudl like to have another child in our lives and created scenarios around our family of four. DS beign a big brother and helping me with the baby. Two kids openning the Christmas gifts instead of 1. And, yes, sometimes even imagined four of us eating dinner. But I cant' say that something ever really felt missing. It was mroe like, one day we will have another child at the table. Maybe it's more a matter or semantics. But wanting to ahve another child and feeling someone is missing seems so different. I dont' know, it sounds so dramatic to say someone who isn't even born is missing from the table.

Frankly, I don't feel one way or the other. I was never one to make plans, to have this precise vision of what my life would be like, as an adult. Clearly, I'm in the minority in that regard.

One day, I decided to adopt a child, not knowing at that point whether or not I would renew the experience. Just a couple of years prior, I didn't even know if I would ever have children: both options seemed appealing to me for different reasons.

Now, we have a 7 year-old son and I have to admit that it's difficult to imagine another child at the table simply because I'm always exhausted and he never is (or is it the other way around?).

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