Does daycare cure shyness?

My 16-month old son is a bit on the shy side. He takes a little while to warm up to new situations and people, and he's a bit clingy to me when we're around people he's unfamiliar with (such as relatives he doesn't see very often, unfortunately).

I'm a part-time WAHM. I take my son to one Mommy & Me class a week, to the library Story Time at least once a week, and at least one or two playdates every week. My point is, he's around other kids and adults, just not for huge amounts of time. However, I have recently been getting a lot of flack for not putting him in daycare, and some have even gone so far as to tell me that I need to put my son in daycare at least a day a week to make him "get over" his shyness.

Do you think daycare is necessary to socialize young children?

My 16-month old son is a bit on the shy side. He takes a little while to warm up to new situations and people, and he's a bit clingy to me when we're around people he's unfamiliar with (such as relatives he doesn't see very often, unfortunately).

I'm a part-time WAHM. I take my son to one Mommy & Me class a week, to the library Story Time at least once a week, and at least one or two playdates every week. My point is, he's around other kids and adults, just not for huge amounts of time. However, I have recently been getting a lot of flack for not putting him in daycare, and some have even gone so far as to tell me that I need to put my son in daycare at least a day a week to make him "get over" his shyness.

I don't have much to offer you. Jut wanted to comment...Man does it seem like parents are constantly criticized? A lot of people get flack for putting their kids in daycare and then you get flack for not having him in daycare. Can't win for losing.

I don't have much to offer you. Jut wanted to comment...Man does it seem like parents are constantly criticized? A lot of people get flack for putting their kids in daycare and then you get flack for not having him in daycare. Can't win for losing.

Not necessarily, but I do think being away from mommy helps with socialization. I found that with Lilys it has been important to point out at that we are indeed two different people : ) and the only way for her to really understand that was for me to not be in the same location as her.

Not necessarily, but I do think being away from mommy helps with socialization. I found that with Lilys it has been important to point out at that we are indeed two different people : ) and the only way for her to really understand that was for me to not be in the same location as her.

I don't think so. I never went to daycare because my mom worked as a babysitter, so I was around kids all day, but the same small group (usually 2-3 kids) and while I was always shy with people I didn't know well, I wasn't shy with people I did. School didn't change this. When I was in school I was just as shy with those people I didn't know well, so nothing seemed to have changed. I think kids just have different personalities and some will be shy while others won't.

I don't think so. I never went to daycare because my mom worked as a babysitter, so I was around kids all day, but the same small group (usually 2-3 kids) and while I was always shy with people I didn't know well, I wasn't shy with people I did. School didn't change this. When I was in school I was just as shy with those people I didn't know well, so nothing seemed to have changed. I think kids just have different personalities and some will be shy while others won't.

I don't have much to offer you. Jut wanted to comment...Man does it seem like parents are constantly criticized? A lot of people get flack for putting their kids in daycare and then you get flack for not having him in daycare. Can't win for losing.

No kidding! It happens for just about every subject. I guess I am just uber-sensitive to this one, because I don't want to hinder my kid's social development ... but I also don't want the expense, the germs/illnesses, and the hassle that comes along with daycare. Darned if I do, darned if I don't.

I don't have much to offer you. Jut wanted to comment...Man does it seem like parents are constantly criticized? A lot of people get flack for putting their kids in daycare and then you get flack for not having him in daycare. Can't win for losing.

No kidding! It happens for just about every subject. I guess I am just uber-sensitive to this one, because I don't want to hinder my kid's social development ... but I also don't want the expense, the germs/illnesses, and the hassle that comes along with daycare. Darned if I do, darned if I don't.

I waited a year to get called of the wait-list for my dd to go the daycare I really trusted (where my ds goes).

She was so clingy! Family all lives out-of-town and she would hang all over me the entire time anyone came into the home. I certainly was not enjoying those visits, I was ready to crawl out of my skin. Nothing worse than a 2 year old hugging your legs crying, following you around.

If I had it to do over, I would have went to work as soon as she turned 1. I actually feel like I missed out on time with her by delaying it. JMO though.

On a side note, never would I put my dd/ds is a private run home daycare. I do not trust those. I like the idea of having lots of workers, keeps them accountable.

I waited a year to get called of the wait-list for my dd to go the daycare I really trusted (where my ds goes).

She was so clingy! Family all lives out-of-town and she would hang all over me the entire time anyone came into the home. I certainly was not enjoying those visits, I was ready to crawl out of my skin. Nothing worse than a 2 year old hugging your legs crying, following you around.

"important to point out at that we are indeed two different people : ) and the only way for her to really understand that was for me to not be in the same location as her."......I like this.I never leave my 9mo as I get serious separation anxiety away from her.I've started her one morning a week in daycare to get her ready for me going back to work part time in January.I'm even finding those 4 hours hard.shes the one doing fine!! I will use what you said as mantra because it makes good sense!

"important to point out at that we are indeed two different people : ) and the only way for her to really understand that was for me to not be in the same location as her."......I like this.I never leave my 9mo as I get serious separation anxiety away from her.I've started her one morning a week in daycare to get her ready for me going back to work part time in January.I'm even finding those 4 hours hard.shes the one doing fine!! I will use what you said as mantra because it makes good sense!

If a person is an introvert, you can not force them to be an extrovert (and vice versa). Putting your child in daycare may make him feel more comfortable in new situations, but if he has an introvert personality that won't change. It's also possible he's just going through a phase, and will grow out of it regardless of if you put him in daycare or not.

If a person is an introvert, you can not force them to be an extrovert (and vice versa). Putting your child in daycare may make him feel more comfortable in new situations, but if he has an introvert personality that won't change. It's also possible he's just going through a phase, and will grow out of it regardless of if you put him in daycare or not.

You know our dd is 10 months and not in daycare. We do not live near family so most of the time it's me, dh and dd with occasional visitors and errands around town etc. I always expected to have a shy, more introverted child because of this and because of how myself and dh were as children. But she has proven herself otherwise! We went to my cousin's house for thanksgiving. There were a ton of people she has never met plus younger children including a baby her age that she's not used to. I expected her to be timid and show a little stranger anxiety. Nope. She was walking up to anyone and everyone. Daycare might help him build skills, but it might just be his nature to be a little apprehensive around strangers.

You know our dd is 10 months and not in daycare. We do not live near family so most of the time it's me, dh and dd with occasional visitors and errands around town etc. I always expected to have a shy, more introverted child because of this and because of how myself and dh were as children. But she has proven herself otherwise! We went to my cousin's house for thanksgiving. There were a ton of people she has never met plus younger children including a baby her age that she's not used to. I expected her to be timid and show a little stranger anxiety. Nope. She was walking up to anyone and everyone. Daycare might help him build skills, but it might just be his nature to be a little apprehensive around strangers.

I think it probably depends on the child. Some people are just naturally shy and no amount of socialization can make them suddenly an outgoing person.

My son was never really shy but he had pretty severe stranger anxiety. I was a SAHM and I didn't properly socialize him due to some extreme anxieties I struggle with myself. He was behind verbally and scared of any new people so I decided to put him in daycare while I went back to school. It has literally been the best thing I have ever done for him. Within a month he was a completely different kid. He's coming home saying new words every day, and while he still shys away from strangers sometimes, he doesn't have hysterics like he used to. He just seems so much happier. In our case however, I made an awful SAHM.

I do think kids in daycare may have an easier time with socialization. But I don't think kids who stay at home with a parent are going to be hindered developmentally if you make the effort to socialize with others outside the home.

I think it probably depends on the child. Some people are just naturally shy and no amount of socialization can make them suddenly an outgoing person.

My son was never really shy but he had pretty severe stranger anxiety. I was a SAHM and I didn't properly socialize him due to some extreme anxieties I struggle with myself. He was behind verbally and scared of any new people so I decided to put him in daycare while I went back to school. It has literally been the best thing I have ever done for him. Within a month he was a completely different kid. He's coming home saying new words every day, and while he still shys away from strangers sometimes, he doesn't have hysterics like he used to. He just seems so much happier. In our case however, I made an awful SAHM.

I do think kids in daycare may have an easier time with socialization. But I don't think kids who stay at home with a parent are going to be hindered developmentally if you make the effort to socialize with others outside the home.

My 3 year old DS has a playmate that was so shy and clingy. The mom referred to her as a "leg baby". She was always attached to her mom's leg! She started drop off preschool this year and it's been great for her. She will never be the most outgoing person, but she handles herself really well now. She's more talkative and more confident. At some point your LO will need to be OK without you, but I don't see why you need to rush it.

My 3 year old DS has a playmate that was so shy and clingy. The mom referred to her as a "leg baby". She was always attached to her mom's leg! She started drop off preschool this year and it's been great for her. She will never be the most outgoing person, but she handles herself really well now. She's more talkative and more confident. At some point your LO will need to be OK without you, but I don't see why you need to rush it.

My almost 5 year old has been in daycare for 4 years and is still shy. I initially sent him for socialization but it ended up becoming more about independence (he is very much a mummy's boy.) I don't regret sending him at all as he has learnt so much from going, but I really don't think it would have harmed him not to go.

My almost 5 year old has been in daycare for 4 years and is still shy. I initially sent him for socialization but it ended up becoming more about independence (he is very much a mummy's boy.) I don't regret sending him at all as he has learnt so much from going, but I really don't think it would have harmed him not to go.

My DD has never spent a day without me in 2.5 years and is a tremendously outgoing child. Shes never met a stranger, loves playing in the nursery at church on Wed and Sun and loves the spotlight. It's just her personality, my husband is the same way. I'm outgoing but nowhere near as much as the two of them. Sometimes it actually scares me that she's not afraid to talk to strangers but I don't want to kill that loving spirit either. DS seems to be a bit more like me and he'll smile and cackle at pretty much anyone (he's 3.5 months) but don't get too close if he doesn't know you or he'll let you know he's not happy. Pushing an introverted child too much in social situations might do the opposite and make him even more insecure and retract more.

My DD has never spent a day without me in 2.5 years and is a tremendously outgoing child. Shes never met a stranger, loves playing in the nursery at church on Wed and Sun and loves the spotlight. It's just her personality, my husband is the same way. I'm outgoing but nowhere near as much as the two of them. Sometimes it actually scares me that she's not afraid to talk to strangers but I don't want to kill that loving spirit either. DS seems to be a bit more like me and he'll smile and cackle at pretty much anyone (he's 3.5 months) but don't get too close if he doesn't know you or he'll let you know he's not happy. Pushing an introverted child too much in social situations might do the opposite and make him even more insecure and retract more.

Good article. My family is painfully shy, me included. My husband is super outgoing and his family is all loud. I am hoping my son will fall somewhere in the middle. Would rather him be outgoing than shy like me. He is only a year but right now seems to enjoy new people and attention.

Good article. My family is painfully shy, me included. My husband is super outgoing and his family is all loud. I am hoping my son will fall somewhere in the middle. Would rather him be outgoing than shy like me. He is only a year but right now seems to enjoy new people and attention.

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