The world has sure changed a lot. Just a couple of centuries ago, most people lived in small towns and villages, where they had a basic social life and well-defined social roles. In time, human settlements grew, and a large percentage of the population migrated to the city.

Then came newspapers, radio and TV, as well as enhanced transportation, which enabled news, goods and people to travel faster and further than ever before. And more recently, we saw the rise of the internet, mobile communication and social media, which created a whole new level of possibilities for social interaction.

I find that many people are very confused by today’s social structures and social tools. They find it difficult to build meaningful relationships in the intricate modern world. I’ve been coaching such people since 2008. Based on my experience, I’d like give you what I deem as 4 essential rules for a fulfilling social life in today’s world. Read them in this article: http://goo.gl/zTI0k1﻿

To me, what matters more than a person’s beliefs is the process through which they acquire their beliefs.

Most people acquire most of their fundamental beliefs about life, death, love, success, through a mere process of indoctrination. They get told something over and over again, often from a young age, by so called authority figures, it connects with some of their emotional needs, and they eventually end up believing it and using it as a compass in life. Later they may try to justify with logical arguments why they believe something, but typically that’s just backwards rationalization.

Even through indoctrination, a person can accumulate many realistic and accurate beliefs. However, through the same process, they can also accumulate all sorts of wacky, irrational beliefs.

Essentially, such a person is a victim of their social environment, be it good or bad, pink or purple. And that’s what concerns me. Because such a person is so vulnerable psychologically you never know what crazy ideas they’ll have a couple of years from now, because of the social conditioning they’ve been exposed to during this time. And then they’ll probably become a hazard for themselves and for others. Not to mention really annoying to talk to.

That’s why the kind of people I always like to meet and I wanna be friends with are people who acquire their beliefs mainly through reasoning, research and experience.

Nobody can completely avoid indoctrination of course. But people who have a rational, scientific approach to accumulating knowledge have a truly increased immunity to it. Such a person, even if at some point they may have a core belief that’s quite loony, sooner or later, through reflection, inquiry and life experience, they will likely realize that and they will change their mind. It’s only a matter of time.

It’s stimulating to talk with such people, you can learn a lot from them, and they can learn from you if you can backup your claims with solid, sensible arguments.

I mean, a person goes to various places and through various experiences over a period of time. These places and experience are more or less different from one another. But the person is the same. They don’t change that much over the course of a few days.

So why would they take and then share series of photos that mainly emphasize the constant (them) instead of the variable (the place or experience)? It’s not like they need to keep reminding others every other day how they look, just in case they might forget.

Selfies don’t make a lot of sense when you think about them that way, do they? They do make sense though if we think of them as a form of attention seeking (or should I call it attention whoring?). And that’s probably what they are, primarily. You make sure you capture in a photo what you want to get noticed. And if you constantly ensure you’re in the photo, what does that say about you?

Something that I think is becoming critically important nowadays is the way we handle information as we seek to learn and better our lives.

Publishing information has never been easier than it is today. With the advent of the Internet and the rise of digital publishing, getting your ideas out there is now something that almost anyone can do. And thus, the amount of published information in the form of books, articles, videos and courses is growing exponentially.

I think this is mostly a good thing, but is also poses certain problems. One big problem in my perspective is the fact the volume of junk, low-quality information getting published and becoming publicly available is growing at an incredible rate. Because the entry barriers to publishing are now so low and, let’s face it, many people overestimate the practical value of what they have to say.

The amount of high-quality information is growing but the amount of bad information is growing even more. So we’re heading towards a point where, in many fields, we’ll have a whole lot of rotten content, and burred in it some real gems of information by very competent authors.

In such a circumstance, if you just consume the readily available information, assume it’s good and rely on it entirely, you’re dead. We need to learn to research for quality information, to evaluate it using critical thinking as we consume it, to identify the best information, to organize it, to apply it consistently, and to quickly put aside information that proves impractical.

You may have heard before this idea that you’ll be happier if you use your money to buy experiences than if you use them to buy stuff.

It’s an idea I’ve been treating as very likely true for some years now, but this year I’ve put it to the test harder than ever before. This year I’ve spent nearly every last cent of my discretionary income on experiences: hobbies, social experiences, business events, and lots and lots of travel. About the only new stuff I’ve bought has been a few inexpensive clothing items.

After this year-long test, I can now say with utter certainty that, in my case, buying experiences is a lot more rewarding than buying stuff. The difference is in fact staggering. The things I’ve done this year have given me amazing emotional experiences, and they will keep doing so as they continue existing in my mind as memories. A new smartphone or a cool car would have just given me a mild and fleeting dose of satisfaction.

Extrapolating, I’m pretty sure that this dynamic of purchasing choices applies not just for me, but for the vast majority of people. There is now some very reliable scientific research pointing out that, indeed, people in general obtain significantly more happiness when they buy experiences than when they buy stuff; or put another way, from doing than from having.

It’s one of the reasons why, when I look at folks who are obsessed with buying stuff but they rarely do anything new or interesting (and there are quite a few such people), I typically sigh and I can’t help but think they’ve lost their way.

So, with this lesson learned, I know what I’ll be spending my money on in the coming year. Do you?

I’d love to see the concept of blind faith becoming perceived less as a virtue and more as a flaw. Some people say that sometimes we just need to stop looking for evidence that something is true, and just believe it. But I don’t buy it.

To have faith in something means to have the conviction that it’s accurate, that it’s true. So why in the world would anybody wanna believe with conviction that something is true in the absence of convincing evidence? Especially an idea that impacts a large part of their life.

Evidence is not just a good way to determine what beliefs you adopt and what beliefs you discard. It is, in my mind, the only proper way. Blind faith sounds like a really good way to en up with all sorts of delusional beliefs, which lead to poor choices, which lead nowhere.

At an individual level, having blind faith is a way for people to deny truths that are emotionally hard to accept and make the world appear the way the would like it to be. It’s a cop out. And I for one would rather overcome my emotional weaknesses than fall pray to it and lose touch with pieces of reality.

At a social level, encouraging blind faith is a way for institutions that promote absurd ideas, which are disconnected from reality, to get suck… errrr… people to accept those ideas and follow them. It’s another sneaky tactic for social control.

Ultimately, it’s unhealthy and ineffective to believe various ideas based on blind faith. Even when I coach clients in overcoming negative and unrealistic beliefs, the aim is to replace them with realistic beliefs, not with positive but still unrealistic beliefs. I always find that if people learn to generally think rationally, that is a great path to confidence and happiness. Being delusional, no matter the direction your delusions go, doesn’t take you far.

I don’t know if it’s just my impression, but it seems that people are thinking and talking about Christmas earlier and earlier every year. Christmas is now more than a month away, and I already hear chitter-chatter left and right about it.

Of course, it makes sense for people to think and talk about Christmas before it arrives. It’s a fun, relaxing, social event, and so most folks look forward to it. The issue is that if your mind is already on an event more than a month away, what does that say about how fun and interesting your day to day life is?

More and more, people’s lives appear to be revolving around a few major events every year: Christmas, Easter, the summer vacation, and that’s about it. It’s like the rest of their existence is a wasteland offering little stimulation, and these events are the only ones to look forward to. So they try to extend them mentally way over their actual limits.

I think that’s a major red flag. If you’re already thinking about Christmas, you really need to reevaluate your lifestyle, because there is a serious shortage of interesting and meaningful activities in it.

You wanna have something to look forward to daily. To have no time or desire to think about an event occurring one month from now, because there is too much other cool stuff happening in your life until then. Aim to live high every day, not just a few days every year.

I'm a confidence and communication coach with 6+ years of experience, I've coached clients from over 20 countries, on 5 continents, ranging from students and young professionals to CEOs and millionaires, and my confidence and communication courses have been purchased by over 3000 people.

I live a location independent lifestyle, I dance salsa and west coast swing, I love psychology and I’m terrible with directions.