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I had a teen crush 10,000 years ago on someone who was an alcoholic at age 16 and I thought that he was worth rescuing. I did try a little as he was a lovely human being when sober but so messed up. Daddy had so much money and so much influence in the community. Never completely understood the dynamics in that family. Don't know that alcoholism was fully recognized then.

Fortunately, I never got any further opportunity and I heard that he never got his act together. Really sad thinking about the waste of that individual.

Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

Zoe, if you are getting a weird feeling about it, that you are "liking the wrong guy" then do you think that might be a warning flag sent up by your unconscious? I think sometimes we have intuitions about people and situations.

UA, I think the badboy thing would definitely work in your favor at your age - as long as you don't find somebody who's trying to rescue you, you'll scare off the ones who want fatherhood material or providers and interest the ones who are more willing to try anything once - like your extreme challenge hobbies. (And they aren't attractive after 30 because they are a poor gamble financially and as dads.)

back to the original post, go for coffee, gets know him, see how you feel, don't compromise your hard limits. Maybe you learn something that's a deal breaker, get over your crush, and friend zone him - you said you wanted friends. Maybe he does too. Some of the guys I would never gave dated (and/or would have never dated me) became some of the best friends I ever had.

UA, I think the badboy thing would definitely work in your favor at your age - as long as you don't find somebody who's trying to rescue you, you'll scare off the ones who want fatherhood material or providers and interest the ones who are more willing to try anything once - like your extreme challenge hobbies. (And they aren't attractive after 30 because they are a poor gamble financially and as dads.)

Interesting advice.

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

back to the original post, go for coffee, gets know him, see how you feel, don't compromise your hard limits. Maybe you learn something that's a deal breaker, get over your crush, and friend zone him - you said you wanted friends. Maybe he does too. Some of the guys I would never gave dated (and/or would have never dated me) became some of the best friends I ever had.

I like that plan, not overthinking it. I think there are issues stemming from addictions. The majority of our meditation group is in some stage of recovery honestly. He has shown a nice long time of stability. I don't like him because of the bad boy thing, mostly I just really like talking to him. The reason I wonder if it is a bad idea is mostly what other people would think. I didn't really see myself as someone who cared about that but I guess I am a little.