Tomato. Bacon. Jam. Tomato Bacon Jam. TomatoBaconJam! I have a hard time not getting pretty excited about any food that involves bacon. That being said, I get that tomato bacon jam sounds a little weird. Tomato jam alone sounds strange, but bacon jam? With onions? Weird, perhaps. Delicious, absolutely. If you are up to your eyeballs in tomatoes, then consider taking a break from canning them, and mix up some of this jam. Don’t be put off by the amount of bacon called for. The recipe makes approximately two cups, which comes out to 16 2 tablespoon servings. When you break it down, each serving has less than the equivalent of one piece of bacon. While I try to eat healthy on a daily basis, I most definitely believe that even a healthy diet has room for a smidge of bacon!

I can’t explain it, but as soon as the weather starts to turn cooler, Ray and I start craving Chinese take-out. Perhaps it is a part of our subconscious that is telling us to fatten up for the cold winter ahead — as if any of us need any further encouragement to do that. Whatever it is, the result is that we have Chinese on the brain ALL OF THE TIME. I recognize that real Chinese food is fresh and healthy, but that’s not the kind I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is the Chinese food that is a deep fried, MSG-laden, calorie bomb….that also happens to be absolutely delicious. I wish I could say that I don’t like it, but that would be a complete grow-your-nose-a-foot lie. Egg rolls? Chicken fried and covered in some kind of sauce? Lo mein? Yes, please, all of it.

Sentencing myself to a life without any Chinese takeout is an utterly bleak and completely undesirable prospect. Solution? I try to mitigate the damage. I can accomplish that by mixing up my own teriyaki sauce and drizzling it on a plate filled with steamed vegetables and chicken (Did you know you can get steamed vegetables and chicken from your Chinese take out place? Surprise, you can! Look for it!). That way, about 75% of my plate is pretty clean and I feel okay about indulging in an egg roll and some General Tso’s chicken.

There are times that I seriously feel like I live with a pack of vultures. Technically, thanks to Wikipedia, I can tell you that a group of vultures while feeding is actually called a wake, not a pack. Kind of creepy, but thanks Wikipedia for that random fun fact. Back to vultures my kids…on the weekends, we are out of our routine and all I hear all day long is “Mom, I’m hungry!” “Mom, what can I have to eat?” “Mom, when are we eating lunch/dinner?” Even if I have literally just cleaned up breakfast, they turn around and five minutes later, they are starving to the point that you would think they haven’t eaten in the past week. Even if breakfast was a good stick-to-your bones meal like oatmeal, they burn through it in what seems like a matter of minutes. Does anyone else have this problem?

This dressing/sauce began with my total failure to concoct something that would adequately replace the Costco-sized bottle of ranch dressing that has been a mainstay in our refrigerator since Bert started eating solid foods. The child puts ranch dressing on everything. Italian hoagie? Yes. Any kind of vegetable, raw or cooked? Yes. Pizza? Yes. All types of meat? Yes. Sometimes he even puts it on his hot dogs! Must I go on? Suffice it to say, the idea that Bert would eat just about anything without first dipping it in a white puddle of Hidden Valley is completely unrealistic.