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The Statement "In India marriage comes first, then love, whereas in a Western love relationship marriage often is the end of Love" is an very kontoversel Statemant. On the one Hand vor an Western it is hard to Understand why People accept an Arranged marriage with an Partner they Do not know or only for a few moments. But on the other hand when you take Laxmi and Deepak as an example For Love in an arranged marriage
<br />Then it seems the System of arranged marriage may work.Wed, 25 Mar 2015 21:30:38 +0100arranged marriage vs. love marriagehttp://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8722976
<p><font size="2"><strong><font face="times new roman,times">&quot; In India marriage comes first, the love, whereas in a Western love relationships marriages often is the end of love&quot;. </font></strong></font></p><p><font size="2">the concept of an arranged marriage is something that has been prevalent in Indian society and culture for the longest time<strong>. </strong>In fact, today up to 90% of marriages in India and 60% off all marriages in the world are arranged<strong>.</strong></font></p><p><font size="2">But first ...</font></p><p><font size="2">An <u>arranged marriage</u> is not a marriage of choice. Not the cuple stands in the center but the two families as a whole. Both sides work out a list of what they are looking for , what they think, is a perfekt partner for their child, nephew, etc. Those lists normaly include the educational level, the family background and career. Indian singles have no problem trusting their relatives to find them a match. Therefore, if there are any issues between the cuple, the whole family gets involved and everyone trys to make the marriage work.<span /><span class="ya-q-full-text"> The family decides who you marry, and that custom and tradition means that you are &quot;stuck&quot; with who you marry.</span> For granted, the cuple stands under a lot of pressure. The families sometimes force the cuple to stay togeter wich mostly continues in a long loveless marriage just for the sake of society and the average &quot;good feeling&quot;. Thats the cause why most people tend to belive that arranged marriages tend hold longer. But this doesnt have to be the clause b<span class="ya-q-full-text">ecause two people who are in that same situation marry, have sex and children, they often bond. And without the &quot;escape clause&quot; of divorce as a possibility, both parties try and be nice to each other, and love often develops. For centuries arranged marriages were the norm in many places and divorce was unheard of.</span></font></p><p><font size="2">A <u>love marriage</u> is more difficult for both parts of the cuple and the family. Some marriages may not have the support of the families who sometimes point fingers at the smallest mistakes so they can say &quot;i told you so&quot;, which ofcourse leads to more truble for the cuple and opens up even more burning points. This is one of the main causes why a marriage out of love doesn&acute;t work out. On the other Hand there is the possebility that the cuple grow appart and the similarities and interrests are not enouth to hold up the relationship. An other causeis the differences in the cultures and behavios in a family, which might be common in an western civilisation but not in an Indian. Same with the differences in questions of the religion. And that not only of the cuple but in terms of what marriage should be performed or what religion the childeren should be taught.</font></p><p><font size="2">In India the people are taught that the &quot;young raging hormones&quot; have no role to play in a marriage. So, there is no impulsive marriages and thereby no dreadful divorces. This is the main reason, why statistics show the divorce rate of 1.1% in India and nearly 50% in western countries like America.</font></p><p><font size="2">I don&acute;t agree with this statement. In my opinion everyone shoud decide on their own who they want to share their life with but it is indeed the parents task to prepare their childeren well so they can grow up to be strong independend individuals. When every choice is taken away from them, especially in terms of love and picking a partner for life, they won&acute;t ever have the chance to live on their own !!!&nbsp; <br /></font></p><font size="2">By: Paula Gr&uuml;newald</font>Wed, 25 Mar 2015 17:34:00 +0100Arranged marriages - beginning or end of love?http://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8722064
In India most marriages are, unlike in the west where people chose their bride or groom on their own, arranged by the parents of the bride and groom.
<br />At first their parents usually post a matrimonial insert in a national English newspaper in which they describe their children and how the groom should be like, where he or she is from, what language they speak and so on.After deciding on one of the replies to be the most suitable they arrange a meeting for the two families to meet at dinner. During this encounter the bride and groom are able to talk to each other for the first time and decide if the other person really is an appropriate choice. Only then after their children agree to marry the other their parents set an engagement date, or at least it should be this way.
<br />This way of arranging marriages already goes on for years in India and is seen as completely normal. In western regions this way of getting married is very outdated. People go out on dates and get to know each other, fall in love and marry at last. In India it is the other way around. At first they marry and then they fall in love.
<br />It is said that there are more divorces in western states than in India. This may be true but people should not forget that in India filing for divorce is still not acceptable in society. So many couples stay together although they are unhappy. But since their parents take care of the situation and make sure to pick a good choice by going into detail when describing the appropriate partner for their child, it is way easier to find somebody in India than in the western states. Furthermore the people searching for a marriage are they clear and specific, even with looks. Some would say that it is superficial, others would say that it helps clearing up any misunderstandings of what qualities the other is searching for.
<br />To sum up I would not say that an arranged marriage is the key to finding true love, people need to get up and find it themselves. But it could be a good alternative if the person is completely hopeless. At the end it is your choice you have to live with.
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<br />P.WWed, 25 Mar 2015 01:18:55 +0100arranged marriagehttp://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8721608
<p><font size="2">Do arranged marriages really work out ? And is this the right way to spent the rest of your life with a partner you do not know anything about ? arranged marriages are still normal in countrys like india or for example in arabic countrys,generally we could say in people in which people follow their traditions and the old way of thinking . People does not have the chance&nbsp; to know someone , maybe they does not know the feeling of beeing in love. They does not have any decisions because if you fall in love with somebody go out with somebody everybody talks&nbsp; bad&nbsp; behind the back of the families because its not usual that people fall in love first&nbsp; and&nbsp; then marry. Just the Parents choose the marriage patner.&nbsp; My mother also does not my father&nbsp; before because it was normal that the parents form the side of the groom came and ask the woman side of taking the girl as their daughter in law . After 2 weeks they got married . And i could definitely say&nbsp; that love cames later.But she also told me that it would be nicer&nbsp;&nbsp; if&nbsp; someone know the person well before because its a strange feeling living with someone you does not know anything about . Now their are married since 26 years, but there still examples where it does not work because of the diffrent interests and notions. We can not say if people&nbsp; which&nbsp; fall in love before had an longer marrige&nbsp; but i could say that the feeling is annother because you feel the love and you want the marriage from the heart . And if they divorce themselves they know they choose the person by themselves.</font></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>(written by Hana Kohlie ) <br /></p>Tue, 24 Mar 2015 21:32:44 +0100Love at first sight?http://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8721380
Do you think that love has a general defintion which everybody agrees with? And do you think, that you have to be in love before you decide to marry someone? Well, the majority of the western people would answer with 'yes' but indians don't think so. "In India marriage comes first, then love, whereas in a western love relationship marriage often is the end of love". For indians this quote is totally normal as well as arranged marriages. People in india don't search their future partner on their own, mostly the parents do it with success(?). They don't know each other for more than one day though they decide to marry that person and to live the rest of their life together.
<br />Maybe this idea is not as bad as the most people in the west think. Our parents know their children better then others do, they know what is the best for us and they also want the best for us. A lot of people would say that parents do to always know their children better then others because they might have conflicts in their family or something alike but there is also to say that these marriages are not forced. The children take the biggest part in an arranged mariage cuz if they're not agreed with the partner which the parents have chosen than the parents also can't force them to marry nevertheless. If we compare the rate of divorce in europe or america with the rate of divorce in india you can see that the rate in the west is a lot higher then in india.
<br />If you are in a relationship you already know the person from memory but indians start to know each other after mariage. I think this makes everything more interesting. You don't know each other though you take the risk and choose to live the rest of your life with a 'stranger'. Everyone has a different opinion of this tradition and thats why i think that everyone should decide on their own if they would dare theirself to mary someone which their parents choose. -valentinaWed, 24 Dec 2014 21:29:00 +0100What ist the end of love - Arranged marriages or love marriages ?http://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8711120
<p>&quot; In India marriage comes first, the love, whereas in a Western love relationships marriages often is the end of love&quot;. This is a typicall statement of Indian people in respect of protecting their arranged marriages from reviewers.</p><p>In India the process of marriag is differant to the Western process. The westen people fist get to know each other, then, if there is harmony and concern, they fall in love and they begin a frequently long realationship. At the end usually at the age of 20-30 years they get married if they want to.</p><p>In contrast in India the woman or the man gives notice to her or his parents that he or she wants to get married. Then it is teh parent's task to find a in their opinion goog bride or fiance. If this person is found the parents arrange the first meeting of the couple with their families, where they can get to know each other for the first time and after this meeting they have to decide if they approve of the marriage.</p><p>My opinion of arranged marriages is negative, because none can attest if it really comes to real love and if they are happy through their arranged marriage. I have heard many times in documentations about India that women are treatend badly differant as men and so they are often scared to contradict to their parents and marry a man they did not like. Futhermore i think people should have time to know each other, because sometimes it takes a while to finde out if it is real love or just good friends. Or did you ever see someone without talk to him/her and said: &quot; Hey i want to marry you! &quot;.</p><p>It is true that in the last time the rate of divorces in Western but this is the reason of the mordern human development. Today woman and man are not depended on each other, the woman can also earn money and the man knows how to keep the budget and so it is easier to seperate instead of trying to hold together sadly...But this is not the only reason. Sometimes people recognize that they do not fix together or they begin to live apart and decide to divorce. </p><p>In India arranged marriage is an old tradition and like i just said sometime the couple is scared to say something against their family because of holdin hornor or something else and if this fear would not be i would be sure that they would be more divorces.&nbsp;</p><p>Of course they are arranged marriages, which have a good lovely ending but i would rather surch my fiance on my own, because i have to love and live with him and not my parents. Finally everyone knows best on his own who fix to himself. Isn't it ?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Alice Neumann&nbsp; <br /></p>Sat, 21 Mar 2015 18:24:00 +0100Arranged marriages - Only marriage or also real love?http://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8701316
<p>In India it is just normal that parents arrange a marriage for their children. One possible way of the first step of the arrangement is that the parents write an advertisement in the newspaper. But they even put demands to it, for example the high family status. If somebody is interested, the parents organize a meeting between them and the family of the interested person. Well, I don't think that this kind of marriage is usefull like the &quot;normal&quot; marriage. In my opinion the parents should let their children decide for themselves, which person they want to marry, because they know better which type of men/women they like or are intereting for them.</p><p>So all in all I can say that Indian parents should let their kids make their own decisions about future wifes/husbands.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p align="left">written by Sascha &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p>Mon, 16 Mar 2015 21:48:46 +0100Arranged marriageshttp://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8710892
"In India marriage comes first, then love, whereas in a Western love relationship marriage often is the end of love." In India the parents have been trying to arrange the marriage of their child. When their child is ready to get married the parents began their search for a suitable match. Traditionally, a professional matchmaker would have helped the family to find a wife or husband. Thr parents write a short matrimonial. In this matrimonial they describing their child and the kind of wife or husband whom they felt would be suitable for their child. Important criterias are physical appearance, educational qualifications and the economic status. Arranged marriages are a tradition in India. In western countries they havenÂ´t this tradition. They get married when they are really sure that the partner is the right person to life with him/her. I find that everyone has a different opinion about this tradition. NimaThu, 26 Mar 2015 20:03:00 +0100My opinion on arranged marriageshttp://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8699036
<h1 align="JUSTIFY" class="western">My opinion on arranged marriages</h1> <p align="JUSTIFY">In many countries in the world, arranged marriage is still a common practice even today. Outcried as archaic by many in the west, people in other countries &ndash; for example, in India &ndash; maintain that the tradition forms an integral part of their culture, with many benefits to both the men and women that are subjected to it, and society as a whole.</p> <p align="JUSTIFY">Could this be true? In light of rising divorce rates and more and more western adults deciding not to marry, it is easy to decry Western traditional values as crumbling away. However, one should keep in mind that the reasons for this are manifold and cannot be summarized in a quick one-liner. By no means should one jump to the oft-repeated conclusion that &ldquo;in a Western love relationship marriage is often the end of love&rdquo;. Instead, many married couples realize as they live together that the greater freedom that Western women enjoy today &ndash; the freedom to work and have a career being one of the most important ones &ndash; often clash with the cross-cultural cliches of how a marriage is supposed to work, with the man being provider and breadwinner and the woman staying at home and raising the children. Thinking along these lines also reveals one of the greatest flaws with any &ldquo;marriage before love&rdquo; propaganda: while a woman can indeed learn to love the husband she has been assigned, it is much harder to love the implicitly assigned role as a rote house worker and underprivileged citizen of society. For arranged marriages always come with an often unrecognized flaw: to arrange a marriage, one has to have a certain preconception of what each partner wants. And while in an ideal world these preconceptions would indeed match what the spouses-to-be actually desire, there is a real danger of these preconceptions being based in traditional values, which will result in a marriage where the woman has to make a choice between fulfilling the role she has been assigned, and living a life of freedom and with the opportunity for personal growth.</p> <p align="JUSTIFY">I am not saying that arranged marriage necessarily produces an unfree relationship, and yet it is necessarily the product of an unfree society. For even the couples for who it works and who can have a stable and happy arranged marriage without either having to make concessions beyond the Western normal have been deprived of one of the Modern era's most important freedoms: the freedom to explore both who you really are, and what you really want, in the search for a partner.</p><p align="JUSTIFY">&nbsp;</p><p align="JUSTIFY">--Farina <br /></p>Sun, 15 Mar 2015 21:08:38 +0100Can arranged marriages exceed over "real" love Relationships?http://englishlklmg12.myblog.de/englishlklmg12/art/8698808
<p>The Question is, do arranged marriages really work out compared to relationships where two persons came together because of their interests in each other? Well, arranged marriages in generell are common in India, instead of choosing your partner by yourself, your parents will do the job by selecting possible candidates through the internet, the news paper or other places. Parents are looking for several points, which should fit their claims. When there is someone, which your parents are satisfied with, they contact the family of the choosen one and arrange a meeting. If the meeting proceeded well enough and if all the questions of your parents are answered the marriage will be arranged. It could be that you will see your Partner for the first Time, when you are staying in front of him in the church. <em>&quot;In India, marriage comes first, then love, whereas in a Western love relationship marriage often is the end of love&quot;</em>. This comment basically tells us why they arrange marriages in India. And if whe are looking at the western society many marriages split up actually. The People in India maybe arrange marriages to prevent theirselves (their children) and to prevent the chance of spliting up in the future by arranging marriages. Out of India, we choose our partners and staying together with them in a relationship for a long time first, to really make sure if the partner is the right person, but many relationships have the problem that they wont make out together after a long time which results in spliting up as i said. For me it is something i really can understand. It seems logically that Indians could fear, broke up marriages, also to mention the social stability. By arranging the marriage, the parents can make sure if the choosen one could be the right one, in contrast to our society we just think about if he/she could be the right one and often many characteristics show up in the future which the other person won't be satisfied with. Also, through the arranged marriage the couple get to know each other and if both of their wishes in a relationship work out together (in before checked by the parents) they get to love each other. But the fact is that actually arranged marriage split up aswell because of finding out the partner is not meant to be for yourself. I would say, that arranged marriages doesn't solve the Problem at all, of course it could be a good method to regulate couples seperating theirselves but it always depends on the individual person, their interests and preferences. Even if the horroscope says that both of you could be the perfect couple, every individual is different in the end &amp; finding the perfect partner is something which really depends patience and not about stressing parents who are searching <span class="short_text"><span class="hps">desperately for a match. </span></span></p><p><strong>&nbsp;So overall </strong>i would say it depends on the people itself, if they enjoy theirselves with their partner and the most important thing, if they feel satisfied mentally with their partner. Arranged marriages is something which could work out and where introduced of the social status in India i believe but in the End partents can't control the relationships of their children and if their children not feeling satisfied with their partner, why should they desperately staying together, everyone has the right to be happy. <br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p>Sun, 15 Mar 2015 20:38:58 +0100