“If you work the words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who dug deep and laid the foundation of his house on bedrock. When the river burst its banks and crashed against the house, nothing could shake it; it was built to last." Luke 6:48

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I've felt life's blows, and I've rolled with the punches, and through it, I've grown faith.

But, it seems just when life is going well and I feel secure and contented, like I breath, like I can let my guard down, and I let up on leaning on God and start to feel like I'm doing a good job taking care of business, God puts me in my place. He knocks me down and reminds me I'm supposed to be leaning on Him, not my own understanding of things. And He lets life get tough again, so I'll lean on Him, so I'll learn that He is in control.

Life just got so tough. As tough as its ever been, and I've been humbled for sure, but I'm also frightened, and lonely, and lost. Very lost.

And I'm not quite sure how it'll all get better, I don't see how it can, and I'm drowning in the worst case scenarios, and I'm flailing, and I'm making myself feel sick with worry and dread. And then God reminds me that He is in control, and He has a plan for me.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I had forgotten this.

I had forgotten to lean on Him. To trust Him. To have faith that all was still in His hands, not my own.

I'm still scared, so incredibly scared.

I still don't know whats going to happen to me.

I still don't know how to fix things.

But now I've been reminded, God knows I'm scared, and I don't need to worry about the future, or have a plan, because God does.

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comments:

I know this post is a few months old but I want you to know there are so many people praying for you. Lean on God, lean on your family and lean on your friends. We will be there to prop you up....even if it is from afar. <3

Hi, I would really like to get in touch with you. I strongly feel that I came across this blog for a reason. I am going through so much grief myself right now and everything that I read sounds so familar and a little bit comforting. I commented on one of your last blogs as well, but I was wondering if I could personally email you? Thanks so much.

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My name is Katie and I'm facing the dawning of 2010 with hope and excitement. The past few years have been very challenging for me and my family, we've underwent some pretty significant changes, and though they've been hard on us and dramatically changed our lives, they've taught us so much about life, and love and faith, and have set us on the path we're on now.

For 2010 I'm striving to strengthen and improve all areas of my life, with focus on my marriage to my amazing husband Elvis and my family life. I have three wonderful children, Avery who is four, and twin boys Everett and Landon. Everett passed away when he was 20 days old, due to a collection of heart defects that just could not be repaired, Landon is now two years old and a fabulous and healthy little boy.

Faith has really bloomed in our household, despite our struggles, and with God's word and His love, we're looking to the new year to be a time of personal and spiritual growth, and hoping it brings some blessings and joy!