My best friend is getting married and I’m the matron of honor. My ex is the best man; he’s the brother of the groom. My ex and I are both happily married, but the breakup was very tough and very emotional. Although he is for sure over me, I definitely still think about him. Given the chance, I’d probably take him back in a heartbeat. I’ve never met his wife, but I’ve been told she hates me.

How do I remain calm and collected at the wedding? I want to make him feel bad for not fighting for me, but I don’t want to make myself look like an idiot. And I don’t want him—or anyone else—figuring out that I’m still in love with him. (I’ve told everyone I’m completely over him.)

What do I do? How do I act? How do I respond if he brings up the past to get a reaction out of me? How to I keep from wanting to be near him, look at him, and hear him talk all night? How do I avoid looking like I’m still in love?

Here are my thoughts:

Stay away from your ex. Stay far, far away.

When the wedding comes, make sure of two things all night: 1) That your hand is always holding your husband’s—you have a husband, for God’s sake! And 2) That your back is always to your ex.

Any interaction you have with your ex—especially if you try to force an interaction—is just going to lead to drama. And I promise you you’ll regret it if you cause a scene at your best friend’s wedding.

I’m kind of okay with you wanting to make your ex feel bad. What girl doesn’t want to run into an ex when she’s having a great outfit/great hair/great skin/great life day? But in this situation I’d say being happy is the best revenge. So look your absolute best, get your guy gussied up, and plaster a big ol’ smile on your face. Then don’t so much as look at your ex unless it’s absolutely necessary. (Say, when you’re walking up the aisle arm in arm. Gulp.)

I’d spend the days leading up to the wedding reminding yourself why you love your husband. (Again, you have a husband!) Go on romantic dates, spend some quality time between the sheets, and get in extra cuddles. You’re I’m-so-happy! act will be even more convincing if it’s not, um, an act.

If your ex really is over you, he’s not going to bring up the past to try to get a reaction out of you. On the off chance that he does, be the bigger person and walk away.

Clearly you and your ex have a volatile past. I don’t think there’s any need to revisit it—especially when two marriages (AND your best friend’s wedding) are at stake.

Oh, and lay off the booze at the reception. A glass of wine or two will help you relax. But anything more than that and thoughts like, “I’ll just corner him in a bathroom stall ...” will start crossing your mind. As much as you regret losing your ex, you don’t want to also regret being the drunken bridesmaid who made a fool of herself at her best friend’s wedding.

Ladies, please back me up on this one! NOTHING good is going to come of “Mrs. Not Over It” confronting her ex, right?

Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own that needs solving? Click here to e-mail me!