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Trumped With Anxiety

I’ve had anxiety most of my life. I’ve jumped on and off meds since I was 12- but over the past 10 years it has been mostly manageable. Since baby girl was born in January, my anxiety levels have been pretty intense. I got back on medication to try and correct the imbalance, but it is still something I deal with daily. You couldn’t tell if you hung out with me that I was struggling. I keep it pretty cool (unless one of my kids needs a reality check) and most people would have no idea what is going on internally. That is the scary part about anxiety- most people have no clue what you are feeling until you are completely broken.

After dealing with it for so many years, it has gotten easier to differentiate the crazy vs reality. But lately I seem to question if I’m overreacting or if something is literally insane. A great example is this year’s election. I’m not going to make this political- but internally this election has me losing it. I’m terrified and I’m not sure if it is the anxiety talking or if there is something to really be scared about??

Before Facebook, news apps and social media, it was easy to shut off the world when in a deep state of anxiety. Now I can’t help but to get consumed with what is going on. There is so much unrest, hate, fear, bigotry, and anger lingering in the air. My hometown has had an abundant amount of violence, murders, riots, protesting, rallies from all sides. I see news stories that talk about global unrest, bombs, nuclear weapons. Half of our state is under water from Hurricane Matthew. All of these things are out of our control and it is scary.

As a sexual abuse and rape survivor, I am deeply bothered by the words that have been floating around the media this week. I’m deeply troubled by the wide acceptance of someone who brags about sexual abuse. As a mom of 2 girls, I fear this rape culture and the fact so many aren’t standing up to it. Excuses like locker room talk, his groupies were asking for it, he was just joking around have all been accepted. People who are upset are being told there are more important things to focus on, that this is just a distraction. But as a survivor and parent this issue is very important. This type of behavior is not ok. It’s not ok for millionaires, celebrities, musicians, popular kids, jocks, and so forth to do whatever they please to a woman. No one has the right to touch anyone’s body without their consent. Period. The fact this is being taken so lightly is a huge problem for America- and I know this isn’t the anxiety talking!