Well, I hear something else. It's the Hug Plane, and it's coming in for a landing.

Wednesday, April 29

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN AKRON?!?!

Remember this story I linked to about the 52-year-old stripper in Akron who got jumped by one of her co-workers? Looking for a story from the complete opposite end of the spectrum? Have I got a deal for you!

AKRON -- Police say a 14-year-old girl was dancing topless at an Akron strip club when they raided the bar and arrested four exotic dancers.

The girl has been placed in protective custody. . . .

Police Lt. Rick Edwards says officers saw some dancers have contact with customers, but not the 14-year-old. He says the club is not licensed as a sexually oriented business.

The girl has been placed with Summit County Children Services.

Ahem.

ATTENTION, STRIP-CLUB OWNERS OF AKRON, OHIO: THE APPROPRIATE AGE FOR A STRIPPER IS EIGHTEEN (18) TO THIRTY-FIVE (35). THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO FEATURE ANY EXOTIC DANCERS WHO FALL OUTSIDE THAT AGE RANGE. IT CAN ONLY LEAD TO LEGAL PROBLEMS, PHYSICAL HARM, AND/OR PUBLIC HUMILIATION. REPEAT: EXOTIC DANCERS SHOULD BE AGED 18 TO 35. NO EXCEPTIONS. THANK YOU.

"In other news, Tucker Max has taken a quick break from the post-production of the film "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell", an adaptation of his book of the same name, to take a visit to Akron, OH to "visit a couple of friends" and "see a few sights." His return date is unknown."

"[Your raw sexual magnetism is so overpowering that I don't know what I might do around you, so for my own safety it's probably best if you s]tay at least 200 feet away from me at all times."
— Erin Andrews, ESPN