"Re-brands and re-launches are amongst the latest measures employed to re-engage with viewers", it will ask. "But is it a case of all fur coat and no knickers?".

Leaving aside the knickers issue for a moment, here are my top three rebrands that I've come up with in the last 30 seconds or so.

First up, UKTV Style, home of DIY SOS, Escape to the Country, and anything that has ever been presented by Colin and Justin. With its penchant for makeover shows and getting your hands dirty, welcome to... Tool TV!

Brilliant. Just imagine. "What's on Tool?" "Shall we watch Tool?" "Coming up on Tool...". Works brilliantly.

Film 4, which is not quite the powerhouse of new British films that it once was, should therefore become "Film You Have Probably Seen Several Times B4".

Sky News' penchant for flashing up "breaking news" stories every five minutes and flagging up press conferences as enormously exciting - and then only slightly anti-climactic - "news alerts", means the news channel should become simply "Wow!".

I'm not sure about Watch, the new UKTV channel being fronted by Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan. Dave was rather good but Watch is just a bit, well, generic. Shall we watch Watch? No, doesn't work. Don't like it.

Now, I've not seen the channel, so this is early days, but I would have gone for... Pap. It's tight, it's three letters, and it's got two big P sounds in it. Or perhaps Pap*. Or Pap! I'm clearly in the wrong job, although it's not the first time I've been told that.

Send us your suggestions and they might even be read out in Edinburgh. Woo-hoo!