Start a reality show on PBS about the torrid, complicated personal lives of mezzo-sopranos who perform at “the people’s opera”; escalate reality television’s trope of throwing a glass of wine in someone’s face to throwing a goblet of wine in someone’s face.

Remind the world that opera folk have a sense of irony by acknowledging that the world’s loudest idiom (Wagnerian opera) features a character named Mime.

Assure well-heeled benefactors that even though the servants triumph over their master in “The Marriage of Figaro,” this worldview will not inform the benefactors’ relationship with your theater’s seating chart.

Antagonize all competing arts in an effort to thin the herd: start a rumor that the reason ballet dancers walk on point is so they won’t wake the audience. Take out a full-page ad in Dance News that bears the slogan “I’d take a ballet for you.” Start a Twitter account called Violins = Kitsch. Exclaim that, in a year with telemovies devoted to both Liberace and Donatella Versace, “who needs Schnittke?”