To think it is not my fault her daughter got a tattoo!

Wondering about a situation that's occurred over the last few days. My oldest DD is 19 and has had a best friend since primary school who is 18.

My DD decided she wanted to get a small tattoo on the inside of her foot over the summer but decided to wait until the Christmas break so she was sure it was what she wanted and so she could be at home to get it done. I heard from my DD that her friend also wanted a tattoo and so they decided to book the appointment together.

As neither of them have cars I offered to give them a lift to the tattoo place as I needed to go to town, and then drop her friend home afterwards as we drive past hers anyway.

Later on that evening, I get a phone call from the girl's mum who is furious. She said she would not given her daughter permission as she hates tattoos and apparently I am irresponsible for both allowing my daughter to get a tattoo at her age and for not checking her daughter was allowed with her first.

I explained to her that IMO my daughter doesn't need permission as she is 19 and therefore and adult, free to make her own decisions. I believe the same applies to her daughter as she is 18 and legally does not need parental permission.

I have known in the past her mum is very strict with her but it never even crossed my mind to check whether she knew or not. I don't see why I need to. I don't really agree with the way she parents so we have little to do with each other but have always been friendly when we do see each other.

I had nothing to do with it other than drive them there but it is my fault for 'encouraging their behavior'. She has now demanded in future I am too check decisions regarding her daughter with her I refused to do this as I told her I would not be treating her daughter like a child and the conversation ended with lots of shouting from her and then she hung up.

I really don't see the problem, they are both adults???? So AIBU or is this women really controlling???

I will be honest... I would not be happy if my DC came home with a tattoo... But at 18 years they are old enough to make their own choices whether they turn out to be a stupid mistake or a good decision.. How else will they learn to be responsible if they don't have the chance to make their own decisions?!

18 is still very young. Children don't just suddenly turn 18 and magically become mature.

But that's part of growing up, getting all the freedom to do whatever you want with it, and then understanding why you don't do that.

She needs to talk to her daughter and take it up with her. If she's living in her house and is expected to follow her mothers rules while she's there, then that's between those two. You have no need to get involved with it.

In any case, her daughter has made it quite clear she has no wish to let her mother control her. Good luck to her letting go.

EhricJinglingHisBallsOnHigh Yes I did, I just assumed her mum knew but to be honest even if she didn't I don't get the problem. If my DD came home with a tattoo I wouldn't be annoyed in the slightest. It's her life

Yanbu. The friend's mum is barking mad. Her daughter is an adult and it is her skin so her choice.

For what it's worth I am tattoo crazy and dh and I are covered in them (dh to the point of his face, neck and hands being the only "free" areas). I got my first one aged 18 and I have never regretted it and never will (I am now very middle aged). If her daughter wants a tattoo and has thought about it carefully then good for her.