I hate Jeff Ireland for making me question every move this team makes, and now I hate Jeff Ireland for making me give him props on what looks like a good pick-up for us.
With that said, I approve of this! Please let it translate to on-field performance! PLEASE!
You know, I would be absolutely giddy if I had to admit I was wrong about Ginger McFucktard. I WANT him to make the right moves for the good of the team. It's just that I know the best indicator of future behavior is relevant past behavior. And past behavior says this asshole will somehow fuck us over again.
Please let me be wrong, O Football Gods!

HEY, HANDSOME! Reports are the Dolphins have made a shrewd move (unless we threw $6 mil at him) by signing former Jets TE Dustin Keller to a one-year deal. Keller will get a chance to prove he's healthy and can play a full season in the hopes of getting some more cash next year and beyond. T...

Our boy Ryan Tannehill (or if you're Omar Kelly, you make up some stupid nickname that doesn't make sense just for the fuck of it) is expected to start today so the team at #WAARF cooked up this little ditty for #TheReturn. An actually marginally positive Dolphins parody vid??? The time's th...

FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS! FUCK THE JETS!

If you're a frequent reader of his blog, or perhaps one of many who have been blocked by him on Twitter, then you know that Omar Kelly is the biggest sports writer troll in the history of the Internet. It's not even close. And yes, we're talking bigger than Skip Bayless, Michael Wilbon, Jaso...

This is Francesca Frigo. This is your Victory Monday post. It's Jets week so fuck the Jets. Recaps by The Glimmer Twins here and here. Bang it there and comment on those and The Dude will do his Obama impression for you. LaMontelle Pussyhammer done dug deeeeep in that Raider pussy, din't he...

Incredible breakdown, CK! As for Tannehill, sounds like he needs a better QB coach. LaMontelle is bringing his Ass Closet of awesomeness, and the Kraken is doing well. Everyone else is the bag of old lady diarrhea we all knew they would be. Perfect!

Earlier today, esteemed WAARF videographer, Vinbob, found this dude. This guy is soooo fucking ridiculous with his peach fuzz and his 'you guys are fucking morons, clearly' smugass attitude you'd swear he was an Ireland. LOOK AT HIS FUCKING STUPID FACE!!! So the WAARF crew quickly assembled ...

Sound of Trumpets Blaring...A Medieval Procession featuring Much Gaiety throughout The Land...Streamers, Celebration...Did I mention Gaiety?...Really Gay....Everyone is joyous for the Proclamation is Upon Us. The Constable, Lieutenant Dick Joke, looked down upon his scroll, adopted a pompous B...

Hard Knocks Drinking Game:
1. Every time a player gets cut without Fireland being present, DRINK!
2. Every time Philbin hems and haws without getting to the point, DRINK!
3. Drink for every dropped catchable pass
4. Drink for every (new) shot of a torrential downpour in practice or in pre-season game.
5. Drink when they show Vontae getting traded
6. Drink when anyone gets bitched out by a coach.
That's all I got.

Yesterday your Miami Dolphins decided to trade CB and former 1st rd draft pick, Vontae Davis, for a 2nd rd pick in the 2013 draft. Obviously, this was a genius move for the Fins considering the wealth of talented, playmaking individuals starting for us at every position coupled with the you ...

Welp, it was bound to happen sometime. Now both The Dude and I have given in to the singing sirens of that sweet, sweet New Times cheddah. So please read my recap of Hard Knocks over at their site. Here's the link. Les Brown's gal thinks you should really, really do it. Don't wooorrrry. Ev...

@HunzTheMighty Also, once you get logged in, the link the email sends you, there is a little button at the bottom of the list of owners that you have to click to accept the invitation. I had to scroll down to find it.

Hey Nation! A few links here culled together to pique your interest as camp continues to heat up: - There's been quite a bit of talk about the Dolphins new 'up-tempo' style of practices where several units are going at each other at the same time in an effort to get more reps in and speed up ...

Don't know what happened to the last half of my post, so here:
Considering this was last year's RT:
He's definitely not any worse. Also, Artis Hicks has been solid at RG so far.
As for the safties, I really don't have a great feel for that position yet. Jimmy Wilson seems to be catching on to the new role, but that is definitely an area of concern.
Look, this team had a shit load of holes to fill this year, and it would have been nothing short of a miracle if Ginger McFucktard would have been able to address everything he's fucked up in one off season. He might have found a quarterback. Maybe. He's hedged on receivers with Nanee and Johnson, but even though there are 11 guys trying out at that spot, it's still fucking thin. Safety is a huge gaping hole right now. But I feel okay at the RT and RG positions so far. All we can do is laugh, cry and drink heavily.
Serously, I love this fuckstick of a team, but I have no hope for anything above mediocre this year. We'll probably pull five wins out, but I don't see it as even a .500 team right now.
That's the way I've seen it in the 3 days of camp I've seen.
~Peace

Hey Nation! A few links here culled together to pique your interest as camp continues to heat up: - There's been quite a bit of talk about the Dolphins new 'up-tempo' style of practices where several units are going at each other at the same time in an effort to get more reps in and speed up ...

Okay, first and foremost, as DRK pointed out, this is training camp, and early in camp at that, so yeah, take anything I say here with a Lot's wife-size grain of salt. All of this shit can change on a dime.
I love Hartline, because my wife is a huge OSU fan and I watched a lot of him in college. However I never thought (and still don't) that he was a #1 option as an NFL WR. He's a good but not great #2. But he's currently injured, recovering from a bum appendix, so every day he's not out there, I feel he's losing ground.
For all the critics, Chad Ocho Johnson has been working his ass off, and he looks really good. He's not afraid to lay out, leap, and muscle for the ball. He's had a drop here or there, but most of the time, if it's tossed his direction, he's coming down with it. He's also been calling up the QBs on off days prior to camp and working with them on his own, especially Tannehill, who seems eager to work too. Loud mouth? Yep. Cocky motherfucker? Yep. But he's a baller and I for one have been really happy with what I've seen out of him.
Bess has been Bess. Great in the slot, sure hands, still works hard.
Now I feel the Dolphins will carry six receivers this year, and definitely at least five. I feel sure that Hartline, Bess and Johnson will be three of them. That leaves two to three slots to fill. The others I see filling them are Nanee, who has been pretty solid and working mostly with 1st team, and Julius Pruitt, who has also impressed me. Both of them are working hard, fighting for balls, and making plays. Pruitt has been used a lot in 4-receiver sets so far. All the other receivers have been hit-or-miss, but if I had to guess, I think B.J. Cunningham might latch on to the last spot, if nothing else because he's a draft pick under THIS regime, and he seems to be trying very hard to learn. The other one is Chris Hogan, who seems to have a pretty good rapport with Tannehill.
Gararrd has looked more crisp than Moore to me. His passes have more velocity and are more accurate. He's very good at throwing it away instead of taking a sack, which I like. He makes faster decisions than the puppet, and doesn't stare down his targets as much. I've only seen Tannehill one day (I skipped Monday, needed a couple days out of the sun. I don't get paid for this shit) but he really did look good. Granted he wasn't in pads yet, so we'll see how it looks come Wednesday. The kid has a really nice mid and deep ball. He isn't afraid to go track down a receiver when something doesn't go exactly right and have a talk before the next play, showing leadership right from day one. He'll have a chance to start game one, but I really doubt it. Pat Devlin will be lucky to land on anyone's practice squad. This guy is a chump. Wobbly passes, overthrows, bad decisions.
I've noticed Clay, Fasano and Mastrud at TE. They've done well at both blocking and catching balls. I have not been impressed with Egnew so far. He needs to step up his game in a hurry.
Martin is so far doing pretty well at the RT position, especially considering he's been teamed up against Cam Wake daily. Considering this was last year's RT:

Hey Nation! A few links here culled together to pique your interest as camp continues to heat up: - There's been quite a bit of talk about the Dolphins new 'up-tempo' style of practices where several units are going at each other at the same time in an effort to get more reps in and speed up ...

Taps microphone... Hello? Testing...testes...other jokes from 25 years ago...is this thing still working? HEY GUYS...SOOOOO, LIKE, WHAT'S UP??!?! How was your summer? Tell us all about it!!! Mine's been really shitty and morbid and gloomy and sunny all at the same time in a delicious array ...

I can hear the circus music already playing!
Unfortunately, being a fan of this decade-long shitfest of a team, I get to hate myself for loving them. (and every damn one of you heard Joan Jett and the Blackhearts in your head just then. You're welcome.)
But also, as this is my first year living in South Florida, I'm gonna drag my ass out to training camp just because I can for once in my life.
Fuck.
My.
Life.

Taps microphone... Hello? Testing...testes...other jokes from 25 years ago...is this thing still working? HEY GUYS...SOOOOO, LIKE, WHAT'S UP??!?! How was your summer? Tell us all about it!!! Mine's been really shitty and morbid and gloomy and sunny all at the same time in a delicious array ...

Got no problem with signing him, or not signing him. In his time in Cincy, he was very productive. Only down side I can see is it would be useless to try to download any Pats info out of him, since he never learned it while he was there. Same thing we say about Heat games lately... FUCK OR WALK

The Miami Dolphins worked out former Bengals and Patriots receiver (and former dude who I went to high school with) Chad Ochocinco: Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin told reporters today that the team did, in fact, work Ochocinco out. Philbin didn’t offer many details, however, such as whether ...

The Greatest Cheerleaders In The Entire NFL, the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders, were in the Dominican Republic shooting their calander recently. While there, they decided to make this video set to Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe. There's not much more to add other than to say they've personally...

I'm still not sure how I feel about the guy. Yeah, I have hope he will be a stud, but I also know he was picked by Ginger McFucktard, so I'm tempering my expectations. If he sits for a time to be groomed, his groomers are Matt Moore and David fucking Gerrard. I sent a twitter plea to TRAOG asking him to come in and be RT's quarterback coach. It won't happen, but yeah.
So now we have a 1st round QB. All this team needs now is the entire right side of the O-line, a #1 WR for him to throw to, a competent TE, another pass rusher, and both starting safeties.
SUPERBOWLLLLLLLLLL!!!
/opens waffle iron

After all the speculation, guessing, mock drafting and wondering how badly the dipshits in the front office were going to royally fuck up the draft, we finally drafted ourselves a quarterback in the first round. And he's a pre-med student! Woo-hoo book learnin'! To no one's shock, the Dolphins...

The only fuck I have to give will be for the pint of hops, barley, yeast and water that will be handed to me at the Ale House tonight. I might even spill a little out for our fallen hopes and dreams for this sack of dicks this team has become.

Inception music makes everything more awesome! Today is NFL Draft Day and, try as I might, I simply have no fucks to give. *checks laundry hamper* *finds a fuck wedged inside a dirty sock* Ok, fine. Let's do this. As we all know, the Dolphins have the ei...