​DreamingOutLoud

Seriously, she made sense of the jumble of feelings I've been experiencing lately and just simplified them...

My takeaway from these 8 behaviors:----------

**Just fucking do it....that is living...that is life...that is success....**

If it feels right, easy, like sunlight, ==========

move towards it as fast as possible...==========

Take the path of least resistance and allow life to unfold as you remain present moment to moment cherishing the magic that's happenning in real time around you.----------

So, when I went to Morocco and everyone was being grateful instead of just writing affirmations about it and complaining about getting paid $50K instead of $100K, something in Morocco felt real, tangible, important and worth savoring...

All the notions about women being oppressed got turned on their heads....

Actually, the structure of the society protects women in a very fundamental way,

_"A man can't screw you over and keep walking...everything from the engagement contract to the marriage contract to the idea that a man must be able to support a family in order to be running around talking about dating.... works in favor of the woman...he don't have to carry it all, but the expectation is he must be able to otherwise, don't waste a good woman's childbearing years with somebody who can't really partner..."_

A bitch didn't know that!

In contrast, I'm dealing with men in this country from clients to potential mates who can't coordinate a simple date ....the level of clueless AMBIVALENCE is crazy....

We have soooo much that we can't focus on anything....

Meanwhile, women are running around telling grown men what to do and they don't need them, so in both cases, you leave the man feeling unnecessary and impotent.

They need feel needed just like we do.

Give them some shit to do...like woo you instead of paying for his meal and giving up all your goods as if they're not worth holding onto...

Exchanging bodily fluids with strangers who you have no emotional safe space with and then pretending that intimacy is not important to you....

We're bat shit crazy....

Being a powerful woman is about vulnerability...did anyone not really pay attention to Brene' Brown or again, we're just giving lip service.----------

- **There's no place to give over to vulnerability which is what creates intimacy...****- it creates the space for a man to grow up and make****- himself accountable to you...****- it's one of the rites of manhood....****- let him handle shit...****- like taking care of you spirit...****- freeing you UP to wage the good fight in the public realm while being nurtured in the private one...**

But we too busy talking about how great and strong we are..._(methinks the lady protests too much and doesn't really believe it.)_

Here's what power looks like:==========

For the love of God, Berbers _(the majority and original people of Morocco_) have a culture in which the women own everything, can take lovers, go unveiled so men can revel in their beauty and everything is passed down through the women...they been getting divorces and leaving with the full estate for centuries...

WTF....they ain't have to go to court for that....they husbands live in their glamping bedouin tents made of $6000 handwoven rugs and if they don't act right, they send them packing and they keep everything..."

Meanwhile, back in the states, I turn on Godless and in the first 2 hours watch an actresses opening her legs, exposing her breasts and being gang raped and a black woman's panties pulled down to her ankles and spanked in public by her father....----------

Which one of those sounds like pure crazy gone wrong?

And actresses stepping forward decades later talking about being raped...

We been being raped in my business (and my race, BTW) forever and signing up for it...(because we think we have no choice is a fucking excuse)...

African actress, Danai Gurira is a major TV star (Walking Dead & Black Panther) and nowhere, nowhere do you see her being humilated and stripped naked. She got a 50 page contract instructing producers about the 1inch of skin on her shoulder that they can film.

Her beautiful, fierce African self knows her worth....

Only American & European actresses are unnecessarily taking their clothes off on primetime and being raped, sodomized, brutalized by men for FUCKING ENTERTAINMENT...

And everyone...I mean everyone is acting like this is ok....

WWWWHHHHHAAAAA

How are you going to participate as an artist in normalizing rape and then complain about rape culture?==========

I ain't blaming the victim here...I'm holding folks accountable to how we all (men and women) participate in rape culture...

And now that everyone is stepping forward, let's not act like we're helpless victims...

Let's change the paradigm...

But you know what....

I've screamed this battle for decades..

"Oh, please Jennifer Lawrence, make your own work instead of complaining about how Bradley Cooper got paid more than you. He got paid more than you because he felt he was worth it and you didn't."----------

Period...

WTF....

I'm sick of the lack of movement in our culture and I'm sick of the small ways in which us so called "enlightened or liberal" folks give lip service to autonomy and personal power, but don't change their behavior.....but are quick to tear down another culture that has some really old shit in place to protect women and children...

Is the shit perfect?

No.

Is what we're doing now, better?

Fuck no....

So, in keeping with #5 in Brianna's list...

I'm going to stop talking about changing my beliefs and just do something that's in line with what I want to believe, what I want more of....==========

I'm moving to Morocco...where people are coming towards me like sunlight....

Where things I've been teaching for a decade like "run your own shit," write your own story of success, build your own personal dream empire were things people were hungry for me to teach them...

In a country with 50% unemployment, people were offering me food, lodging, money in return for my knowledge...

Uh, WTF, men looking like brown baby Jesuses in African robes cooking me couscous with figs in the middle of the night and picking my brain and saying come back here...

UH, WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?

_We have things to accomplish here..._

_You want to teach. I'll give you a riad to teach in.__You want food, sunlight, love and gratitude for what you have to offer, we have that.__And you will be honored and protected._

_Come back to Morocco._

_I will wait. It is already written. This is your destiny._----------

What-the-what...who talks like that....?

He didnt want a fucking green card, he wanted a dreamer, a business person eager to create something new in this wonderful place nor did he need my money....

Everywhere I went, instead of trying to figure out my caste or class, each and every person was engaging exactly what I brought - just me ...my spirit (not googling me) but responding to what I said, thought, did and the openness and delight in which I embraced the culture.

I was embraced in return...

It was like the entire country simply opened the door to their home and started putting couscous and figs in my mouth and asking me what I dream about...==========

Every dinner party, breakfast, Moroccans were telling me their dreams and as I listened, I realized they sounded exactly like the dreams I've been having, breathing and writing about...

Make something of use, of value, of beauty that you own and create and leave a meaningful legacy that protects all that you care about..----------

This is what the universe was screaming....

Why?

Because I took a leap, got on a plane last minute, and went somewhere I've always wanted to be not knowing how I was going to pay for it or would I run out of money.

I just said fuck it...and ran towards a light that I've always dreamed of...my fricking apartment has looked like Morocco for years...

The name of the indigenous tribe which the Europeans call Berber is in reality Amazigh which means nomad, FREE PEOPLE....

No wonder I've been living, loving and existing like a nomad most of my life...it's my spiritual aesthetic...and when i went there...people recognized it.

Even when I thought I was supposed to be somewhere else...my soul knew where I would feel belonging...peace....complete and utter peace...==========

Damn, Brianna's number 1: uhm, you don't know what you supposed to have cuz you aint' seen the shit yet...you can only construct wants based on your limited past. _(This woman is a fucking musical genius...imjussayin)_

Had I not been present...I would have missed this magic...

Had I not been brave....

I would have returned to a beautiful, but cold Brooklyn apt spending days trying to coordinate meetups that lasted 45 minutes with friends too busy to commune....

WTF...

So, here's what I know...

**- When you feel like what you have is not enuf.**

**- When you feel only moderately happy.**

**When you complain more than you scream, ****"aha, this is my shit...hallelujah**"