ß Y THE.IR. DE.5K5- I T is rather important, these days, to know your b'1nkers. Of course, everybody has one fa \'orite banker to make a fuss over him, but sometimes that one is out. rrhis situation is apt to leave you in a predicament. You don't like to stand around, hat in hand, star- ing at marble columns and ecretarial kIH:es like a very oaf. You certainly don't want to edge up to the President's desk and stammer out your name while all the wheels cease to turn. Neither do you want to descend to sCHnebody's As- sistant Secretary, who looks as though he might patronize you, in a nice way. After considerable observation, I have come to know the bankers. rrhe answer lies in a close study of the desktops, so that a single trained glance at once reveals the status of the incum- bent. Thus, you \vill be able to select your own level, without the embarrass- ment of stepping up to the watchman and whispering, "Who's that man over there? Is he an officer? " For the sake of brevity, I have tab- ulated my findings: INFORMATION: Pad and pencil. Bunch of flowers. 1ST ASS'T SECRETARY: Pad and gold pencil. Lamp. Boxes marked "Out" and ''In.'' Two telephones. Date punch. Bronze ashtray. 2ND ASS'T SECRETARY: Pad and sil- ver pencil. Two telephones. Bronze ashtray. Date punch. 3RD) 4TH, 5TH, & 6TH ASS'T SEC- RETARIES: Pad and pencil. rrelephone. 13ronze ashtray. 1 <;1' V ICE- PRESIDENT: Pad with leather cover. Two of those pens which stand angled up and stab you in the ere when YOll lean forward suddenly. \Vater carafe and glass. Three tele- phones. Green blotter. Bronze statu- ette of a bull. 2ND VICE-PRESIDENT: One of those pens. Two telephones. Blue blotter. Copy of Kipling's "If." Calendar. Rubber bands to snap. 3RD & 4TH VICE-PRESIDENTS: Pad and pencil. Telephone. Brown blotter. Glass tray of paper clips. PRESIDENT: Pad and pencil. Bunch of flowers. -STANLEY JONES . All of the charges specifically allege that the policemen \vere assigned to dif- ferent posts \vith the understanding that they \vere to be covered \vith bicycles.- lJlount Vernon Daily Argus. And that's no small handicap, either. '---- == - ==' - 75e ea,.I, - -. - .. - - - = . -; ; - ='_.: : ii : ;i :-- . - -, - - -=--11---:c - .iI -=- - '" "' -' ':' ; ' :'''' J -==- -- -, - ,---- - " f!1 '- __ - 1 -----.............. - ER{)() J\ E TR() "" lor the Lonqest-Drivinq Amateur · E MA."Y' 11th TO 18th INCLUSIVE Any Amateur in Good Standing May Compete H ERE is a trophy that brings the longest drives of Hol-Hi Week more fame than an open champion could expect in a dozen title rounds! It goes to the winner of Hol-Hi Week Golf Ball Driving Contest. Everybody can enter free of charge and drives can be made down any fair- ,va)', from any tee at any club in America. Whether you want to become the world's most extensivel)' photographed aviator at the end of the week, or whether you simply want to make your golf club the proud possessor of tl1.e high- est-flying trophy ever donated for a man-sized nation-wide contest-get a free contest slip at once from your local Pro or nearest sporting goods dealer. The bri f, simple rules of con- te t are printed on these slips-it is not neces- sary to buy any additional equipment to enter conte t. In case of ties duplicate awards will be made to the contestants tying. . .. .. Special discount on Hol-Hi balls-Special $1.50 per dozen discount on IIol-Hi balls-no more than one dozen to a customer-is our special contribution to tU "vho need extra distance, to make Ilol-IIi Week a nation-"vide success. Coupon below, filled in by your- self au thorize dealer to ive you thi pecial discount. WILSON- TESTER SPORTI G ID . , COODS (:O'\lP A Y I NE T YORK, CHICAGO SA }<'RANCISCO GOLF EqUIPMENT THIS COUPO IS N{)T A CO TEST SLIP This certificatt' is worth $1.30 on purchase of one dozen I-Iol-Hi Golf Balls during Hol-Hi Week. I t certifies pure--hase was made on May. . . . . . .. .......... _ _ . from (name of Pro or dealer) ." .............................." and when properly fiIlt'd in it entitlt's t.his Pro or dealer t.o manufac:-turer"s pro rata rt'fund as spt'cial contribution t.o success of Hot-Hi Week. (W"arning to dealt'rs -This spt'cial discount is limitc:-d to one dozeD balls per customer.) ame .... \dd ress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .