Musings From A Musical Mind

This has been a week of season finales for some of our favorite TV shows. American Idol, Elementary, and The Office – among others I have recorded but haven’t had time to watch yet. American Idol ended just as I knew it would – with Candace Glover winning the title. She deserved it – she could sing circles around the other contestants! I know we will be hearing a lot from her in the very near future!

In the case of “The Office” – (which our dear son-in-law, Drew started us on while he was first dating our daughter, Ashlee) it was the final season. Something got messed up on my DVR, even though I went in manually and set the high priority for “The Office” and “American Idol”. Sadly “The Office” didn’t make the cut. Luckily we found it online and were able to hook up Greg’s Mac book to the TV and watch it that way. There were several twists and surprises to this last episode and I must admit, I was actually a little teary when Steve Carell made a guest appearance for Dwight and Angela’s wedding.

In the case of “Elementary” I was glad to find this online also – as I somehow stopped recording in progress to get “The Office” recorded! Good grief. But all is well, and we got to see the finale of that as well. I found this storyline VERY compelling. Sherlock, who believes his lost love who died two years earlier is suddenly alive! They are reunited, only to find out that he has been played and seduced. The woman who was supposed to be everything he had wanted and loved, turned out to be his nemesis! The actress playing Irene, ah – I mean Moriarty – was none other than the actress who played Anne Boleyn in the fantastic mini series “The Tudors”. (I looked it up) How could he have gotten it so wrong? Did his feelings get so in the way that he was unable to see what she really was? Even as brilliant as he was? Yes. Sometimes the things we have rolling around in our heads is just plain wrong. And has nothing to do with reality. Have you ever thought something was actually true? You believe it for so long – it occupied your thoughts, crept into your dreams at night, drove you crazy? And then some time (maybe even years) later – you discovered you were wrong about everything? You wasted your thoughts and time on believing you were right? When people disappear from your life – often it is because of another completely different reason. Not the one you have romanticized in your mind. Sometimes we have to stop the fantasy in our minds. Stop believing for that happy ending. Sometimes things are what they are. No happy ending. Just hard cold reality. Not all people are kind. Not all people have your back. Not all people want you to be happy. Sometimes they are so unhappy themselves that their true intent is to destroy you. Sometimes they never loved you at all. And when we can make peace with reality instead of a fantasy – it is a beginning. A step to becoming and staying content.

Something happened to Sherlock when this happened to him – when he finally beat his nemesis. He grew up. He let go. He took the fantasy and turned it upside down, inside out and started a beginning into a new life. Seeing things clearly allowed him to move on, be wiser next time in matters of the heart and mostly – it gave him his life back.

Can you relate to Sherlock? Have you ever trusted someone with your thoughts, your words – even your very life? You shared a part of your heart with them so intimate and rarely spoken? You thought you meant as much to them as they did to you. And then you found out they were not who you thought they were. Have you been betrayed by someone you really trusted and loved? Do you still make excuses for them? Have they gone away and on with their life – and yet you are still holding out for them to come back and change? Or like Sherlock, have you had a reality check? You woke up to the cold hard truth one day. Things are not what you always believed? And guess what? You are going to be okay. This will not finish you. This will not defeat you. You will rise up to be wiser, stronger and yes, you will regain your life back.

It’s funny. Life is all about trust. We trust with all the ordinary things we do in our everyday life. From sitting in a chair we are sure will hold us up – to eating something we are sure will not kill us – or at very least not make us sick! Trusting people is a must as well. We trust the bank teller. We trust the wait staff in a restaurant. We trust our parents. We trust our pastor. We trust our friends. These are natural inclinations. It is only when someone proves to be untrustworthy that we are reduced to being suspicious and cautious. I believe we are born to be “trusters”. I like living my life open and trusting – even though others, including my own husband have called me “naive”.

I have also learned that I cannot trust everyone I meet – even if they appear to be all about good intentions. And this makes me sad. But it has not defeated me. I’ve had others try to beat me down, but it has not finished me. I’ve learned the lesson that I needed to learn. And with God’s grace, it has not made me bitter. Nor does it make me look suspiciously on every friendly person that comes into my life. I’m willing to give everyone a chance. I have God to credit with that – it does not come naturally to me. He works in and through my life, finding the good in people. I look deeper than the surface. I watch for what others do and not just what they say. I look beneath just the superficial pleasantries and observe how they are with others, listen to what their friends say about them and watch how they handle themselves in difficult situations. I remember that I am not very lovable at times either – and God found something worthwhile and worth saving in me. And in spite of many hurts and slights from people over the years – this simple thought has given me my life back.