Jedi to open Surrey academy

Home Counties feel the Force

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Wannabe Jedi Knights are advised to brush up on their lightsaber techniques, dust off their copy of the Jedi Handbook, and get down to Surrey, where two Star Wars aficionados have announced their intention to open a training centre dedicated to promoting the popular alternative religion.

The plan is the brainchild of Daniel Jones, aka Morda Helol, and bruv Barney (Jonba Hehol) who helped start the first UK branch of the "church" in their native Anglesey and have now set their sights on a Home Counties community hall for the centre of the UK's first Jedi academy.

Leading the worship will be 21-year-old Master Ajec, who has not revealed his real name, according to local press reports. Accolytes will be expected to have a copy of the aforementioned code before attending chapter meetings at which they'll either wear Obi-Wan Kenobiesque robes or the black trousers and black t-shirt which make up Jedi civvies.

Morda Helol explained: "We are not extremists, we are not psychotics and we are not a cult. This is a treatment plan to better your life. It is exploiting the best parts of your life. You can follow it completely or at you own pace. We open our doors to anyone."

Training to become a Jedi Master can apparently take up to two years, during which time disciples will have to master the lightsaber, study technology, martial arts and meditation and "learn the importance of neuro-linguistic programming" - something which is reckoned to act as a substitute for Jedi mind-control powers.

According to Mr Helol, he's had offers from Brazil, France, Spain and the US to establish similar chapters. He declared: "This is going worldwide."

Local paper The Courier does not provide any details as to where and when Surrey will benefit from the Jedi training centre, but rest assured we'll provide full details as and when they become available. ®