'Grey's Anatomy': The manly manfight

By this point in your afternoon, PopWatchers, you have most certainly heard plenty about Isaiah Washington (pictured) and Patrick Dempsey’s little Grey’s Anatomy kerfuffle, following the cycle of crisis from the Enquirer‘s screaming to Rush & Molloy’s calm, reasoned reporting to People‘s compilation of really maudlin quotes from those involved. (”Washington even learned a little something about his costar. ‘I’ve never been that close to [Patrick] before,’ he says. ‘He has really pretty blue eyes.”’) Shh, America: Don’t worry! The soft cotton of your celebrity blankie will live to see another day! (Also, we hear Barbaro is doing great!)

So how come no one has called me to be on TV and talk about this yet? Let’s be honest, PopWatchers — if this was Teri Hatcher vs. Eva Longoria, or Calista Flockhart vs. Sally Field, or Rosie O’Donnell vs. [insert View cast member here], yours truly would be shellacking her face for a spot on Inside Edition right now. But I’m not. And I think we all know why: Because this is the menfolk fighting. And no one, really, cares. If we did, the ratings for C-SPAN would be a hell of a lot higher.

Anyway. Use the comments space below to write your own version of the plotline that will lead to Isaiah Washington’s inevitable death/dismissal from Seattle Grace.