Monday, November 03, 2003

october 31, 7:30 pm

my first time in a cemetery this year. eternal gardens is crowded and dark. the minute we entered the gates it started pouring..and pouring. then when we were finally able to get a parking space reasonably near my father's grave the electricity went out. nice huh. it was like a bad omen. good thing we brought lots of candles with us. ate dinner in the car for crying out loud. miserable, cold and dark.

in 20 minutes, after the dinner were supposed to eat near the grave, out under the evening sky, the rain stopped. out everybody went. not a difficult time finding the grave. was next to this huge tree. it was cool, and the electricity came back. we were in good spirits.

i've always known all soul's day was like a fiesta. but i havent really been to the cemetery visiting a deceased member of the family. well it certainly felt like a party of sorts. the crematorium right smack in the middle served as a paging/sounds area. danceable music blaring...pages of people looking for people here and there. was....light. the dude on the speaker was funny. damn, the pages were funny "para kay ramon...umuwi ka na raw. nanganak na ang asawa mo" or "nawawalang black jacket na may wallet sa loob. pakibalik lang daw dito sa paging area. kahit na lisensya na lang, kunin nyo na ang pera." without the paging person's inflection...isnt half as funny.

so like i child, all i did was sit on the grass next to my father's grave. playing with the candles. made shapes with the wax. for almost 4 hours. walked around the cemetery a lil bit. looked at people. listened to music. smoked some kretek. i thought about my father, but no sadness there. i remember thinking, i suppose we'll have to do this every year from now on. not bad for a first.