after my doctor explained it, but it shut most people up. “I’ve been given the

option to go through some physical therapy to try to help,” I managed to get

out next. I‘d also flat out refused.

Ms. Collins provided a

reassuring smile. “If you would like to share first, go ahead.”

Nodding to her, I remembered I

needed this, to be understood. My therapist said it was necessary to share with

people other than my mother and him. He said what I had wasn’t just a problem

but an addiction. That I needed rehab but this would have to do. Here I

promised not to behave badly, but came to confess my sins weekly when I did

anyway. Maybe these confessions would help me make sense of myself.

“Last night, I went out to a

club with a girlfriend,” I said keeping things as vague thus anonymous as

possible.

Crystal perked up. “Lesbian?”

“No, a female friend. I met

this guy, a college student. I have been out of college a few years now.

Anyway, he was an easy target.”

“Meaning?” Diane, the red head

interrupted to huffs from other members. “Trust me this is the good part,” she

told Rick, touching his leg.

“Meaning, he was harmless. He

was hot enough, they all are, but he was naïve. I could tell he would be

thrilled someone like me chose him over his more popular friends. He'd be

thrown off guard that I wanted to go somewhere more private instead of getting

to know each other. We went back to his dorm, not to his room, but to the

showers. He got down on his knees, pulled my jeans down and ate me out. I was

in control, standing, leaning against the wall with my hands in his hair like I

was a guy getting my dick sucked.” Just remembering it caused my nipples to

harden as I tried not to squirm in my plastic seat.

“What happened next?” Ms.

Collins directed.

“I got off and made my excuses

to leave soon after.” I shrugged then laughed, “He was pretty, pissed. I don’t

think he’ll call.” I didn’t give him my number.

“So you are a cock tease,”

Rick blurted out.

“Now Rick, Loraine has tried

to go all the way but found she can’t. It may be a phobia,” Ms. Collins studied

me with her pencil to her chin. “You have no experiences with abuse, right?”

“None,” I answered honestly.

It was usually the first and last question ever asked. After I denied abuse of

any kind, no one took my problem seriously.

“Yeah, right. Just a cock

tease,” Rick mumbled to old man Charlie.

Richard Maloney, striking

black hair and light blue eyes with a statuesque body or not, was really

starting to piss me off. “I am not a tease!” I almost shrieked. “How many times

have you gotten your dick sucked and didn’t return the favor, not even had sex

afterwards?” I challenged. Guys did that sort of thing all the time, at least

in the movies. I’d never been able to date one very long.

Rick shrugged. I was right.

Crystal spoke up, “Rick won’t

eat pussy. He’s not scared of it; he’s just too good for it. I for one have

never slept a man who wouldn’t go down.”

Old man Charlie babbled, “I’d

ram my rod up that tight pussy, fix Loraine right quick.”

“Mmm hmm,” Rick agreed.

“Gentleman! That is enough.”

Ms. Collins scolded all of us and defended me gloriously to my embarrassment. Then

we discussed as a group how my behavior was dangerous, no matter how careful I

thought I was. Plotting daily to find sexual enjoyment had taken over my life.

The others related their problems to my own. We all vowed to change, but that

was easier said than done. We weren’t stupid; we were addicted.

After class, I spoke to Ms.

Collins alone to tell her Rick was my boss. Reminding me he signed the same agreement

I did, she added, “We all have secrets here. There has never been an issue with

anyone in the group breaking our pact.” That explained why I hadn’t heard of

Rick coming here. I wanted to be comforted by her assurances, but I didn’t need

any more trouble in my life. Never having told my secret before in this group,

I left the community center more troubled than ever.

Author Bio

Bestselling paranormal romance and erotic romance author, Morgan Jane Mitchell spent years blogging politics and health trends before she rediscovered her love of writing fiction. Trading politicians for bloodsuckers of another kind, she's now the author of bestselling post-apocalyptic fantasy novel, Sanguis City. Her action packed series of vampires, witches, demons and zombies is paranormal romance, dystopia, urban fantasy and erotica in one bite. When Morgan Jane is not creating the city of blood or conjuring up other supernatural tales, she's dreaming up erotic and dark romances. Morgan Jane lives in the beautiful bluegrass area of central Kentucky with her husband, 3 sons, 3 cats and a greyhound shepherd mix dog named Miss Penni Lane.