What would you do if you had suspicions of your partner having an affair? Could you confront them and have a discussion? Even then how would you know that what you were being told is the truth? What if you were told that nothing was happening but despite that reassurances you still had it eating away inside of you saying something wasn’t right? Would it be good to find out for certain one way or other, or are you just being insecure?

Tiffany Bond has discovered that not only is there still a demand for infidelity investigation but business is booming as the times may change but people don’t and there is a constant stream of husbands and wives contacting her, seeking information and advice to settle their concerns and suspicion of their partner having an affair.

Tiffany’s talent revealed itself when she used her training with her own relationship, leading her friends to suggest that she could help others, as she was helped, by finding the truth and slaying her own demons. Starting her private investigation business the Detection Group she has added to previous experiences to tell many more stories written about in her first book Confessions of a Female Private Investigator.

The book is really a series of short stories of her adventures as a debt collector, police officer and private investigator and the experiences that she and her clients find themselves in with suspicion, discovery and resolution of some of the more disappointing aspects of peoples relationships. It’s actually a bit of a page turner in it’s simple short format story telling style forcing me to drag myself away to get this episode published rather than while away the day indulging in the voyeurism of peoples behaviours.

This is not all about the grime and the sordid underbelly of society but much like Episode 40 Grace. Prostitution – More than you Think, in that, in this story we find someone who is driven to help others to take responsibility, heal and move on by finding out the information that has been eating away at them with suspicion. It’s more than just catching people out, it’s about helping people who’s relationships have devolved and aiding them to move their relationships forward.

Sharing is Loving:

I find myself straddling the line here. Tiffany saved it for me at the end there (a most sage inclusion on your part) only because of her copping to an altruistic desire to want to help humanity and how she “…loves helping people, and when it comes time for [her] to die, [she] would like to be known as a person who helped others.” Fair enough, I say. If you think you’re darning the gaping voids in the societal dreamcoat, then carry on hammering away, I say. I hasten to note that this seemingly noble “I just wanted to help” worldview has been expressed by a sordid handful of the planet’s more unsavoury characters as well, who, in their time, felt as though their actions were in dedicated service to humanity.

Having said that…

I had many problems with this podcast. Not because your guest isn’t an eloquent and knowledgeable presenter of her hobby; that she indeed is. I had problems with things like her description of merely “mirroring” her (mostly male) marks by refusing to “personally up the ante” by only “mimicking the various statements they make to her,” to wit:

Whereupon Dr. Popular, uh, Tiffany, applies the cuffs and reads the marks the Aussie equivalent of the Miranda Address.

You see what I’m building up to here, don’t you?

That whole episode she recounted reminded me of that key scene from The Untouchables where Sean Connery’s character tells Kevin Costner’s Elliott Ness (say this in your best Connery-esque), “They bring out a knife…you bring out a gun.”

Bad robot, Tiffany! Very bad. You need to oil your circuits!

I realize this is her job, her living, her passion, and something which quenches her inner-Gestapo need to tail people and make horndog men feel like dogmeat (hopefully sans trenchcoat and matching jackboots). I also realize this satisfies her inexplicable magnetism for life’s “left-of-centre seedy side,” as she readily admits, but the whole thing doesn’t sit with me well.

Why?

Tiffany’s investigative duties only serve to reinforce what I would consider to be society’s obsession — yes, inflexible, blind, blinkers over Silver’s (as in “hi-ho”) eyes obsession — with the concept of the end-all-be-all Anglo-Saxon-manipulated concept of the monogamous conjugal life partner.

I’m not questioning commitments. I prostrate myself fulsomely down to the men and women who choose to unnecessarily entangle themselves in these mostly financial thickets containing ceaseless marital guano.

I am onside with the XX Chromosomal Units who hear things like this from their husbands, men who look at their paht-ners (say this with an Aussie accent) dead in the peepers and boldly declare: “Shnookems, I promise you’re the only one for me and from here on in, it’s just you and me in the bedroom/table/whirlpool when it comes to any and all horizontal/vertical/diagonal lambada action.” If you admit that, then you damn well keep your word otherwise you’re nothing more than a dastardly dust bunny, and you deserve nothing more than to be swept up into a plastic receptacle and mixed with mouthwash and flushed down the toilet like a do-rag. Men, I’m talkin’ to you!

But w-w-w-wait a second, Frankie, what if this *isn’t* the deal? What if I didn’t sign up for the marital guano all-inclusive package deal and you hire Tiffany and her talented attack beagles to dog me when I’m at the pub having a pilsner and a chick-scope?!

What if I’m dating someone, or sport dorking someone, or just living together with someone in some expensive flat and not on some contrived, “marital” leash and you get Tiffany and her dingbats to put a dragnet or an APB on me and take KGB notes — for pay, no less?! What’s gives? What did I do wrong there?

I’m convinced Tiffany believes she’s doing society a good turn by helping mostly women and men get the straight dope on their partners’ extra-curricular activities, but it’s crass and in many ways only perpetuates what I consider to be a broken marital system which is all a bunch of Mickey Mouse brainwashing.

No doubt there is a big demand for Infidelity Investigation Services that Tiffany and Detection Group provides.

I am amazed at the “snappy take” to the 48th episode. I mean one would never expect a divorce to occur or a broken relationship for having a chick-scope & a Pilsner at the local pub.

Tiffany has shown in previous media that if a person is contacted in an Infidelity Investigation Service, that she doesn’t provoke the contact. It is up to that contacted person to behave in a controlled situation. Self control and ones own decision making comes into play here.

In having some involvement in the industry that Tiffany works in, one can understand what a client needs with Investigation Services and how providing such a service as Infidelity Investigation Services can resolve sensitive relationship matters involving emotional and financial decision making and helping people get on with their life’s peacefully in a positive direction.