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Is there anything more American than the As Seen On TV product? No, no, there's not. While there are a couple out there that actually work, it's expected that a good chunk of these ridiculous contraptions are completely useless. In the spirit of science (I think?) I've decided to embark upon an adventure where I'll be trying one new As Seen On TV product a week.

This week, we have the WhiteLight, a gel treatment that harnesses the omnipotent power of light to whiten your teeth in 10 minutes—hopefully without screwing up your smile.

The contents include your typical mishmash of ingredients you'd find in most home bleaching kits: glycerin, carbamide peroxide, hydrogen peroxide, povidone silica, carbomer, and sodium peroxide—most of which can burn the sh*t out of your gums if left in your mouth for too long.

The directions tell you to apply a liberal amount of gel to the inside of the mouthpiece and press against your teeth while holding the device in place with your lips for 10 minutes.

The kit uses a blue light to accelerate the process of bleaching, even though recent articles confirm that any sort of light—powerful or not—does literally nothing for the bleaching process. But we appreciate the theatricality.