Zorro here. Everyone knows about Morris the Cat. Mommy says he’s probably the most famous cat ever. He’s the spokescat for 9-Lives catfood, has starred in zillions of commercials and is an advo-cat for animals in need.

What most people don’t know, though, is that before Morris became famous, he was a shelter cat. He was discovered at the Hinsdale Humane Society shelter near Chicago.

I’m not nearly as famous as Morris, but I came from the Humane Society, too. Here’s the picture they took of me to try to find someone to adopt me. Aren’t I cute?

I was in a kennel with a gate on the front. The nice people there fed me good and had blankets for me to lay on, but I was so happy when I finally got adopted by Mommy and Daddy. Now I get lots of love…

And I can sleep anywhere I want. On the couch…

On the bed…

In our kitty condo…

And instead of being alone in a kennel, I get to be with Ziggy. He’s my buddy and keeps me from getting lonely when Mommy and Daddy aren’t home. We lick each other…

And play together…

And sometimes just hang out.

I think all kitties and doggies should be adopted into good homes. I’m so glad Mommy and Daddy are the ones who adopted me, even if I never get as famous as Morris.

Ziggy here. Zorro and I have a really good home—lots of yummy kitty food, comfy places to sleep, people that love us and fun stuff to watch out the windows. But there’s one thing I wish would just disappear. This is it:

Mommy says it’s compressed air, but she calls it CatAway, because when she sprays it, cats go away. Usually it just sits on the desk, unless I get up on the dining room table or kitchen counters. Those are such fun places to lie down. I mean, look how comfy I am:

But Mommy doesn’t like it when I get up there, so she gets the CatAway and sneaks up on me. When she pushes the button, it makes this really scary sound, like a loud hiss. Sometimes I don’t get away fast enough, and I can feel it blow my fur. I don’t like it at all.

Mommy hardly ever squirts Zorro with it. She says I need it more than Zorro does, because I’m more of a rebel. I’m not sure what that means.

Sometimes I like to sharpen my claws on the woodwork, too. Grandma’s window sill is a really good spot. Door jambs and baseboards work well, too. But today, Mommy put something stinky on the window sill. She’s putting it on the other woodwork, too. She calls it frankincense and thinks it smells good. But I think it stinks. She has ordered something else that she’s going to try called peppermint oil. I hope it smells better than frankincense, because she’s ruining all my favorite scratching places.

But Mommy and Aunt Kim are building us something new to scratch on. It’s not finished yet, but Mommy brought it upstairs today. She says she’s going to put two perches on top, one for Zorro and one for me. But even without the perches, the bottom makes a really nice place to lie down.

And just in case my new scratching post wasn’t tempting enough, Mommy went and rubbed catnip all over it so I would use it. How am I supposed to resist that? Zorro can’t resist it either. I mean, look at him.

Now I’m losing interest in the woodwork. It just doesn’t have the appeal it did before, especially with the stinky stuff on it.

Hmm, I wonder if Mommy planned it that way. Do you think she’s trying to outsmart me? I think it might have worked.

Zorro here. Did you know that cats were worshiped in ancient Egypt? At least that’s what Mommy says. I’m not sure where Egypt is. I don’t think it’s in North Carolina or Florida, because we’ve never been there. Wherever it is, wealthy families there used to dress their cats in jewels and feed them treats fit for royalty. Ziggy and I don’t care anything about jewels…

…but we always go for treats.

People don’t worship cats anymore and that’s okay. But we’re still pretty special and have done some really cool things. Like how a long time ago (Mommy says 1961), rats were overrunning rice fields in Borneo. So people captured the stray cats of Singapore and parachuted them from planes into the rice fields. The cats got rid of the rats and saved the crops. I hope the people gave them a good reward, like all the tuna they could eat for the rest of their lives.

Ziggy and I haven’t done anything so grand as saving crops, but Mommy and Daddy still love us a lot. Daddy teases us about how much money they spend on kitty food, but Mommy says we’re worth it and that owning cats has lots of health benefits.

People have done studies that show having a cat around releases calming chemicals that lower stress and anxiety. Other studies have shown that a lot of people sleep better with their pets. I know that’s true, because in the wintertime, I crawl under the covers with Mommy and help keep her warm. When we’re in North Carolina, I snuggle with Grandma when she takes naps on the couch.

Mommy said even watching cat videos boosts energy and positive emotions. Ziggy and I could run with that. Mommy says we do really cute things, like when I get in the bathtub and chase my tail. Or when Ziggy and I were running down the stairs yesterday and I tripped at the bottom and landed on top of him. That made Mommy laugh. I bet we could make some really cute videos.

Like all kitties, we enjoy being up high. Mommy always says we’re good kitties when we’re hanging out in our kitty condo. But there are some places that Mommy says we’re not supposed to be. Like on the table or the kitchen counter.

When we get up there, Mommy fusses at us and tells us to get down. I get hollered at more than Zorro does, because I’m more of a rebel than he is. Like the other day. Daddy made himself a hamburger patty and left it sitting on a plate and walked away for a few minutes. It was on the counter, and I know I’m not allowed to get up there, but I could smell it! And although what Daddy fed me was good, it was out of a can instead of fresh, organic hamburger. What Daddy had up on the counter smelled so good, I couldn’t resist. But Daddy wasn’t happy when he saw all the bites I took out of the top of his hamburger.

Zorro has never gotten into Mommy and Daddy’s food. I think he tries too hard to be good, Sometimes, though, I’m able to con him into getting into trouble with me. It’s always more fun that way.

Oh, yeah, back to kitty perches. Zorro has a new favorite place. He has started getting up on top of a piece of furniture Mommy calls a curio cabinet. I haven’t gotten up there yet. It’s a little bit too high.

Our Aunt Kim has a cat that likes to get up high, too. (Aunt Kim is Mommy’s sister, so I guess that makes Kassie our cousin.) She jumps from the counter to the top of the refrigerator to the top of the cabinets and walks through all the breakable things Aunt Kim has up there. But Aunt Kim says she has never knocked anything down. I think she’s pretty talented.

Kassie and Zorro aren’t the only kitties who like to get up really high. Mommy told us about a cat who belonged to a cook at the Hotel Belvedere somewhere far away from where Zorro and I live. One day, some people were climbing the Matterhorn, a tall mountain, and the cat followed them. When the climbers were finished, they brought the cat back down with them, then gave it a good supper.

I could go for the good supper, because I’m always ready to eat, but I don’t think I would want to climb a mountain to get it. Instead, I think I’ll just chill on my kitty perches and wait for Mommy and Daddy to put food in our bowls. And maybe steal a few bites of hamburger or fish when Mommy and Daddy aren’t looking!

Zorro here. Did you know that cats can make about 100 different sounds? Dogs make only about 10. Besides purring, the sounds we make most often are different types of meows. But we don’t talk to each other that way. Cats hardly ever meow at another cat (except for our mothers when we’re little kittens).

When we meow, usually it means we want something, like food or attention. When Mommy is getting ready to feed us, Ziggy meows all while she’s cleaning our dishes, opening the can of kitty food and putting it in the bowls. I wait quietly. I’m more patient than Ziggy is. I know Mommy’s going to put the food down, and it doesn’t get there any faster, no matter how much Ziggy hollers. Although if Mommy or Daddy are too slow, I stand up for it.

Ziggy and I always greet Mommy and Daddy at the door when they come home. Sometimes we meow at them. Then we’re saying “welcome home” and letting them know we’re happy to see them.

Other times, we meow when we’re not happy about something. Those meows sound different from our greetings and when we’re saying we want something. Like the other day, someone came over, and when he left, Mommy stood outside the door talking to him. I could hear her but couldn’t see her, and that had me upset. I started meowing really loud—long, sad cries. It worked! Mommy opened the door and picked me up.

Ziggy talks more than I do, and he has different kinds of meows, too. When he meows for his kitty food, he has a soft, high voice. Mommy says he sounds pathetic and calls him Squeaky. I think he does it on purpose. He’s pretending to be weak with hunger so Mommy will give him extra kitty food. I know he can talk louder than that. Like when we’re traveling and he gets tired of being in the car. He hollers pretty loud then. Mommy tells him to hush and turns up the radio.

When Ziggy and I meow, Mommy usually says, “I know.” Sometimes, though, I wonder if she really does. But even if she doesn’t understand exactly what we’re saying, Ziggy and I will keep meowing, because it works! Mommy and Daddy usually give us what we want.

Ziggy here. Zorro and I just got back to Florida after spending a week and a half in North Carolina. This time Daddy went with us. When Daddy comes along, the car is a lot more crowded. But I like it when Daddy goes with us. It’s fun having him around. He pets me a lot and calls me Ziglet the Piglet. He says it’s because I eat a lot.

Zorro and I have taken lots of long car rides, but Mommy told us about a cat that has traveled more miles than any other cat. Her name was Princess Truman Tai-Tai. She was a crew member on a British ship for 16 years and traveled over one and a half million miles.

I don’t know how many miles it is between Florida and North Carolina, but it seems really far, because Zorro and I are in the car all day. Zorro doesn’t mind it much. In fact, he seems to like it. He curls up in Mommy’s lap and stays there through the entire trip. I don’t know how he can be content just laying around so long. I think he’s lazy.

I have more energy than that. I don’t like staying in one spot for so long. There are no toys to play with and the car is too small for me to chase Zorro. So all I can do is go back and forth between the back seat and the front seat. I can’t even get all the way in the big back section of the car, because Mommy has me in a harness with the leash tied to the gear shift, and the leash is only long enough for me to get in the back seat. Zorro doesn’t need a long leash, because he’s never more than a foot away from the gear shift. Unless he has to use the litter box.

One place I like to be is on top of the seat back, because I can see out the window really well. When Mommy stops, I get up there to check everything out. Mommy doesn’t let me ride there, though, because she says it’s not safe.

I like Mommy’s lap, too, for short times, but Zorro always beats me to it. When Daddy is driving, I sometimes get in Mommy’s lap with Zorro. He doesn’t seem to mind, but I think it’s a little bit too crowded.

Sometimes I try to get down at Mommy’s feet and she yells at me. That wouldn’t be a comfortable place to ride, because there’s pedals down there that Mommy is always pressing with her feet. Mommy has her purse down there, too, so there’s not much room. It’s really not a good place to sleep. But Mommy has made it off limits, so that makes it irresistible.

Soon we’re heading back to North Carolina, but it’ll be just us and Mommy. Another long car ride. Even though Princess Truman Tai-Tai holds the world record for miles traveled by a cat, I think Zorro and I are going to catch up with her.

Zorro here. Mommy told us an interesting story this week. A long, long time ago, before Ziggy and I were even born (Mommy says 1868), British Post Office cats started getting a weekly salary. They even got a raise later. Their job was to catch mice.

I think paying cats is a great a great idea. Ziggy and I are trying to think of things we can do to make money. There aren’t many mice to catch, but I help Mommy write by laying in her lap. When she gets stuck and has to think about something, she reaches down and pets me. She says that helps get her going again.

Ziggy sometimes helps, too. He walks on Mommy’s computer and adds things to what she’s doing. Mommy doesn’t seem to like it, though, so he must not be doing it right. He would probably need some training before he could get paid.

If Ziggy and I got a paycheck, it would be fun picking out things to buy. We wouldn’t need to spend any of our money on food, like Mommy and Daddy do, because they buy us lots of good kitty food.

We wouldn’t have to spend it on litter, either, because we always have plenty of that. And Mommy scoops the box several times a day, so it stays pretty clean. We don’t need comfy places to sleep, either, because Mommy and Daddy always let us sleep on the bed.

Maybe toys. Although, we have some pretty fun toys, too. There’s the red one with the scratchy thing in the middle and the ball that goes ‘round and ‘round. And the toy lizard that looks real.

At Aunt Kim’s house, we have a long fuzzy thing on a stick that Mommy shakes. It’s so much fun to chase.

We even have a kitty condo with perches to lie on, hidey holes to sleep in and posts to scratch on.

Hmm, I can’t think of anything we could buy with our money. Mommy and Daddy already give us everything we want.

Ziggy here. You’re probably wondering why I’m starting out with a picture of a dog. No, I’m not having an identity crisis. It’s because Mommy has been talking a lot about dogs lately. She just finished writing a book about a search and rescue dog, and she’s really excited about it. Zorro and I think she’s a little too excited. She keeps talking about search and rescue dogs and how what they do is so interesting. Like how dogs have 600 million scent receptors in their noses and people have only 6 million. (I guess she didn’t even bother to look up how many cats have.)

Mommy’s been saying a bunch of other things about search and rescue dogs, too. Like how they have to get used to a bunch of different sights and smells and sounds. And how they learn to walk on all kinds of uneven surfaces, even climb ladders. And how they are able to pick one person’s scent out of a whole bunch of other smells.

But not all dogs can do search and rescue. Mommy said they have to be tested first to make sure they’re friendly and not aggressive. Zorro and I would pass that test, because we’re not aggressive and we’re both friendly. I’m friendlier than Zorro, though, because he’s afraid of strangers. When someone that we don’t know comes over, Zorro hides, but I run up and rub against their legs. I always hope they’ll feed me, but they never do. I usually get petted, though, which is kind of nice.

Oh, yeah, back to search and rescue dogs and how Mommy keeps going on about how talented and smart and wonderful they are. Zorro and I are starting to get a little worried. The next thing you know, she’s going to be bringing home a puppy.

Mommy seems really impressed, but we can’t figure out what’s the big deal. After all, cats are good at finding things, too. And we’re really stealthy. If a bad guy was breaking into a store to steal cat toys, we could sneak up on him a lot easier than a dog. I bet we could find a missing child, too. Especially if he rolled in catnip. I don’t even mind wearing a leash. Mommy and Daddy make Zorro and I both wear leashes and harnesses when we travel.

I don’t see any reason why Zorro and I can’t be trained to do search and rescue. In fact, I think that’s what Mommy’s next book needs to be about—a search and rescue cat, starring…me!

When I’m happy, I purr, and that’s most of the time, especially if Mommy’s around. I love Daddy, but Mommy’s my favorite person in the whole world.

I purr a lot. Like when Mommy first adopted me. She took me to the vet and I just couldn’t stop purring. The doctor was pressing this round thing to my chest, trying to listen to my heartbeat and my breathing, and he said all he could hear was my purring. He tried tipping me over, but that didn’t work, either. I can purr upside down just as easily as I can purr right side up.

So then he took me into the back where there was a sink with a faucet. When he turned the handle and water started coming out, that did the trick. I hate baths! But as soon as I found out that he wasn’t going to put me in the water, I started purring again. But he was done with the round thing by then, so my purring was okay.

When Mommy left the vet with me, I was still purring, and I purred all the way through Tractor Supply. Mommy put me in the cart and packed a pail of litter and a bunch of cans of kitty food in all around me. That was totally okay. I never mind sharing my space with kitty food.

Whenever Mommy travels, she usually takes Ziggy and me with her. But sometimes she goes places that she can’t take us. Then I really miss her. But she misses me, too. She has the sound of a cat purring on her phone and plays that while she sleeps so she doesn’t miss me so much.

Purring has other purposes, too. Some people say purring actually helps cats get better faster. The vibrations it makes help ease our breathing, lessen pain, build muscle, repair tendons and even heal bones and booboos.

But I don’t have any booboos. In fact, I’m really comfortable. I’m purring now because I’m a happy kitty!

Ziggy here. The other day, Mommy said something about Daddy letting the cat out of the bag. I got all excited, but when I looked around, I didn’t see any cats except Zorro. And he wasn’t in a bag. He was laying on one of the dining room chairs.

But Mommy said she wasn’t talking about a real cat. She said she meant “spilled the beans,” which really doesn’t make any more sense to me than letting the cat out of the bag. Mommy said people say that because a long time ago (before Zorro and I were even born), some farmers would put kittens in bags and sell them as piglets. When these people got home and opened the bag, a kitten would come out.

I don’t see what the problem was. Why wouldn’t somebody be excited to find out that they got a kitten instead of a piglet? We’re a lot softer and we purr. We curl up in your lap and make great company. Pigs don’t do any of that. Besides, we’re really cute. I mean, look at this face:

Another weird thing that humans say is “Cat got your tongue?” Zorro and I never mess with Mommy or Daddy’s tongue. That would just be weird. Zorro likes to lick Mommy’s nose, though. Mommy encourages him, telling him what a sweet kitty he is. But I wonder about him sometimes.

People say other crazy things about cats, too. Like “It’s raining cats and dogs.” I haven’t talked to any dogs, but I’ve never met a cat that fell out of the sky, at least not that they could remember.

And why does everyone say “scaredy-cat”? I’m not scared. I’m brave. Mommy used to have a dog that was so scared of storms she would start shaking before it even started raining. She was a “scaredy-dog.” But no one ever says that. It’s always the cat who gets the bad rap.

And here’s another one: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” That one makes me nervous. I’m not sure what skinning a cat is, but it doesn’t sound like fun. When Mommy says that, I go hide.

But I’m not hiding now, because I just heard Mommy put our dishes in the sink. That means in a few minutes, they’re going to be washed and full of fresh food. Zorro and I will be scarfing it down, because we love to eat. Hmm, I wonder if there are any cat sayings for that. I’m going to make a cat of myself…I’m catting down my food…Zorro eats like a cat…

Nah, those just don’t have the right ring. We’ll let the pigs, wolves and horses keep those sayings.