“Alien Slime” Discovered In Wake Of Russian Meteor

A mysterious slime has turned up throughout a Somerset nature reserve days after the shocking meteor strike in Russia.

Described as “blobs” or “goo” or just “something living,” the strange substance has been found littered throughout the reserve. It only appeared after last week’s meteorite incident, despite the fact that the nature reserve is thousands of miles away.

While it may be anything from the “decomposing remains of a dead frog” to brain fungus (?!), there’s actually some local mythology surrounding this peculiar phenomenon dating back to the 14th Century:

“According to local folklore, the substance appears in the aftermath of meteor showers. Previous manifestations of it date to the 14th century, according to records.

During that period the slime has acquired celestial monikers including ‘star jelly,’ ‘astral jelly,’ or even ‘astromyxin’.”