Sunday, February 8, 2009

List of Mission Statements

I've always been interested in stories about famous people who knew what they'd be when they grew up, as if they had a moment of clairevoyance. This is especially funny when they turn out to be athletes when they grow up. It is often said that "so-and-so always said he would end up in the NFL/NBA/Major Leagues, etc." Who the hell didn't say that at one point or another? I certainly predicted, at different times, that I'd be in all the major sports leagues, that I'd be an astronaut, a millionaire, and a heralded actor, amongst other things, most recently a homeless man.

In the spirit of these outlandish claims that, for one in a couple million, come true, here are my 25 definitive statements about my being in Ecuador. I assume at least one will come true, at which point my biographer can say, "He knew, as he stepped off the plane that fateful day, that he would..."

I knew, as I stepped off that plane on that fateful day in Ecuador, that I'd...

1. make that discovery that helped us understand.2. lose my marbles.3. help open a trilingual school teaching Quechua, Spanish and English.4. encounter my second, and hopefully better, half.5. have done myself a favor by going to Spain instead.6. have seen the last of my luggage.7. bit off more than I can chew.8. make my family proud.9. probably be gone forever, having established a home in Ecuador.10. be fluent in no time.11. finally earn myself that wikipedia page.12. spent the last 18 months wisely.13. become a man.14. become a woman.15. never fly again.16. join the FARC.17. write the great American novel.18. write the great Ecuadorian novel.19. write a mediocre, nongeographically bound novel.20. start drawing again.21. have the strength to handle any of it.22. maintain veganism with ease and elegance.23. be able to convince family and friends to come down.24. have to find a bathroom.25. made one of, if not the single most important decisions of my life.

Again, not hopes, not fears, just possibilities. Just a way to say, 'I told you so.'