Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

Am I obligated to tell my friend when by son visits her daughter at LSU?

My friend (my past fiend) daughter is 20 and is dating my 22 year old son. She has been angry at me but has failed to tell me why. She has been avoiding any attempt that I have made to talk to her until today. My (past friend) called me today. She states that when I have spoken to her that I have failed to mention to her that my son was visiting her daughter at LSU. She said that she feels that I am keeping things from her and her husband. I do not get this....HELP

They are over the age of 18, you have no obligation to tell her anything. You don't really have an obligation when they're under 18, unless there's something specific. As I told my 12 yr old when he confessed a crush on my friend's daughter, but didn't want my friend to know, "You're my son, and I respect your privacy. I will not tell (my friend) what's between us, unless she asks me a specific question about it. I will not lie to my friend about her daughter." For me, that only applies under 18. Once my son turns 18, if he and my friend's daughter were to be together (which I doubt), and my friend asked, I'd tell her she needs to talk to them about her concerns. I think you should tell your friend the same.

Legally they are over the age of 18 so you have no obligation to inform her of anything. It sounds like she needs to sit down with her DD and talk with her and talk with you about what is expected of your friendship. I do not have adult children yet, but I would not feel obligated to tell a friend that my child was spending time with her child. That is up to her child to tell her and I would respect my child's privacy.