I was just jogging through the park listening to my iPod, enjoying the nice weather...everything was good. I got tired and sat down on a bench. I hadn't noticed there was something sitting on the bench until my arm bumped it. It was a red and white thermos with Marlboro written on it. Strange, I thought. That's a brand of cigarettes. Why would they have their name on a thermos? ### I figured someone had forgotten it so I planned to just leave it there...maybe they'd come back for it. I absentmindedly rubbed the top of the thermos and it started rocking back and forth. I must have rubbed it harder than I thought and unbalanced it. But no! I wasn't touching it anymore and it was still rocking..more violently than before. ### Suddenly the top of the thermos literally popped off and out climbed...well, I don't know what to call it...a thermos genie, I guess. Except, if it really was a genie it was a totally disreputable one. ### All the genies I had seen in books looked well dressed and very exotic. This guy was a mess! Cut-offs, a muscle shirt, flip-flops, pony tail...and he had a can of beer in one hand and a...you got it!...a Marlboro in the other. And he smelled of garlic! ###"Hey, bro! Whassup?"###"Excuse me?" I said ###"What! You called ME! What's your problem? You want them three wishes or what?" ###"Uh, no thanks. I'm good." ###"Oh, no! You don't yank me away from watchin' wrestling and tell me you don't want your three wishes!" ###"No, really, I'm good. Don't need a thing. I didn't know you were in there. It was an accident."###"Come on...since I'm out here, how about a nice double wide?"###"Gee, I really don't think so.###"A lifetime supply of chitlins?"###"Never touch 'em...thanks."###"You're awful hard to please. I know! A girt certificate for Wal-Mart! Nobody could refuse that!"###"Look, I'm fine. Really. Why don't you just get back in your thermos and I'll put the lid on I'll be on my way."###"Hey, buddy! I'm not good enough for you? You got a better offer from some other genie? You just don't appreciate the finer things in life!..." ###I could hear him yelling at me as I jogged away, leaving him and his thermos for someone else to deal with