It was difficult for me to get much done this week. Difficult, as it would be for anyone who spent most of the time rolling about the floor in uncontrollable fits of hysteria.

The entertainment began when the faces of all the liberal TV so-called commentators began to switch from smug, snooty satisfaction Wednesday afternoon (Aussie time) when Trump’s powerful locomotive unexpectedly started to look like it might reach the station after all. That was the “glee” stage. The “laughter” stage began in ripples once it became clear that he was going to win and all the CNN and BBC luvvies (who call themselves commentators and analysts but whom we know to be the Progressive Globalist Left’s media shills) were almost paralysed with disbelief, looking like stunned mullets: incredulous that (as with Brexit) so many millions of the filthy, great unwashed had totally disobeyed their superiors again and voted for Trump. How dare they???

The full-on laughter started when John Podesta came out to announce Clinton had gutlessly decided to go to bed for a good cry instead of conceding. Then the footage of all of her supporters sobbing uncontrollably appeared and that was just too much for me. I just couldn’t contain myself anymore, and fell to the floor in absolute hysterics. Endless clips of liberal commentators and vacuous celebrities wiping their eyes or bursting into tears followed, resulting in me cracking at least one rib and giving rise to possible hernias. America: what a great country! It’s ability to entertain us in so many different ways never ceases to astound!

The following days’ reports of schools and universities cancelling exams and classes so that their student wusses could go to safe spaces soon came flooding. Here we had the uproariously funny spectacle of thousands of spineless Leftists having to take up coloured crayons, sing kumbaya together and cuddle puppies to help them get over the shock of their equally mentally-deranged, sicko political shit-bag not winning. Hilarious!

This sort of thing would make for such brilliant comedy. Why hasn’t anyone thought to make it into a Sitcom? All the material is there …

Triggs Goes

The only downside to the week was the devastating news that Gillian Triggs will not be thrown off the nearest cliff after all, as many of us have long argued for. Instead, it has been announced that this appalling woman will just not have her contract renewed next year – and that’s that.

This of course is an absolute outrage, the latest of a long line of them from this weak, limp-wristed, and some might say “rather poofy” wimp PM of ours. (I protest.)