In order to begin building a group home, foster family or blended family one basic quality must be present. It really should have been one of the first tenets I wrote about, but as I go from home to home and see new children added and graduates leave, I have become aware of this one great piece that must be in place: We must build a safe, caring environment.

You might ask how do you do that, and what is the value? A safe, caring environment is a place where a person will be heard without comment or put-down, where their opinion is valued, where gossip is not tolerated, truth is valued and bullying does not exist.

Such a place is built by not demanding, demeaning, or criticizing. In this home or facility, everyone can sit down together and have a conversation without a fight ensuing. Adults and adults can problem solve as well as adults to children and children to children.

There were times when all 8 children were in our home, people would come in, and ask, "Where are the kids?" (there were awful days, too,) but the point is that it is possible to have a peaceful home, and it begins with that safe, caring environment.

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"My name is Carla Atkinson and this is a blog for foster parents and group homes. We will discuss laws, new and old. We will share ideas and we together, we will work to make the lives of children a little better."

Jim & Carla Atkinson have been married 54 years, raised more than 200 foster children and have 80 grandchildren (and more on the way!) Together they have six group homes and one large campus in California. Carla Atkinson, the author, created this space to share highs and lows, and support others who love kids as much as we do. Please visitthe Atkinson Family Services website for more information.