I have what I call my “Cinematic Hippocratic Oath”: After I’m finished watching a movie (or a TV show), if I’m going to feel no better, I at least want to feel no worse. ~ ca. 1990

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“When someone says, ‘Wow, that’s a great picture of you,’ what they’re really saying is that the picture looks better than you do.”

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The Founders are treated much like the Bible. People pick and choose what they please to support their opinions and prejudices. ~ December 20, 2013

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I have a dog-like cat. What this country needs is Democratic-like Republicans. ~ October 1, 2013

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“Have you ever noticed that there’s no political philosophy or ideology called ‘Democratic Capitalism’? Maybe it’s time for one.” ~ Noted April 18, 2013

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“If you’re an atheist, it is best to be a Jewish atheist. There’s so much less to not believe.” ~ noted December 12, 2012

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“‘A Christmas Carol‘, as synopsized by FoxNews: ‘A good Libertarian-Conservative Tory is brainwashed by 3 Commie-Socialist ghosts into becoming a bleeding-heart Liberal.’” ~ April 12, 2012

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“For a young adult, knowing when to ask your parents for advice or information is a lot like Donald Rumsfeld’s summary of the Iraq War: There are known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns.” ~ March 29, 2012

“Good advice is easy to give, and hard to take.” ~ ca. 1990

“You can tell when Republicans are lying, because their lips are moving.”

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“The Right isn’t always wrong, and the Left isn’t always right.” ~ March 22, 2012

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“I love dogs and cats, and get along great with them. I would love to have one, if they could be toilet trained. Or conversely, if they were photosynthetic, requiring only regular watering.”

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“Remarriage is the epitome of eternal optimism. Re-divorce is the reassertion of reality over romance.”

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“Someone has to go home to them tonight, but it’s not me.” ~ When I was dealing with a particularly ‘challenging’ customer, this was my calming internal mantra. ~ ca. 1997

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“You start off being the boss you always wanted, and end up being the boss you always had.” ~ ca. 1997

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“America today is a nation of crumbling bridges, decaying roads, inadequate rail systems, and a space program which is becoming a pathetic shadow of its former self. Declining nations glory in their past accomplishments because their future looks so bleak. Rising nations become great by looking to the future, investing in their people and their infrastructure, and taking risks.” ~ “Republicans Must Think That Knowledge Grows on Trees”, Posted on February 16, 2011 by Michael R. Honig

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“I’ve now reached the age where I’ve become the guy who used to chase me off the lawn.”

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“Age is the experience which gives you a right to be cynical.”

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“There are always three versions of history: The winner’s version, the loser’s version, and the truth.”

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“If political hypocrisy were currency, we’d have a budget surplus.”

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“Thank the ‘Reagan Revolution’ for ‘Infrastructure Dissolution’.”

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“Republicans want government so small that it will fit between a woman’s legs, whether she likes it or not. Isn’t there already a word for that?”

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“The difference between the Democratic Party & the Republican Party: Democrats have no spine, and Republicans have no shame.”~ 17 Jun 2011

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“When computers work well, they can perform miracles. When they don’t work well, it takes miracles to make them perform.”

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“I do the best I can with what I’ve got, but I can’t be what I’m not.”~ 24 Jun 2011

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“Ignorance, denial and magical thinking are at the heart of the Conservative movement.”

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“Honig’s Laws:

The problems you run into on a job increase in direct proportion to your distance from home.

If you are looking for a street and know approximately where it is, but not exactly, it will invariably be the street where the sign is missing or obscured.

When you find your street and your are not sure if you should make a right turn or a left, you’ll invariably pick the wrong one.

The satisfaction you derive from a purchase declines in inverse proportion to the price.

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“Boredom is a highly underrated commodity.”

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“It’s always a bitch when you have no one to blame but yourself.”

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“We live in an age of crap.” (Referring to the quality of merchandise today.)