PiBoIdMo Day 25: Wendy Martin Gets Difficult (plus a prize!)

It’s been nearly an entire month of PiBoIdMo. Take a good long look at your list. Do you see a theme there?

In past PiBoIdMo challenges I often found myself writing down ideas that ended up being a variation on a theme. The first year I had a dozen ideas all based on classical artists’ early lives. Another year I got into a scientific groove. I actually went on to write first and second drafts on two of those ideas, but got snagged when it came to the illustrations. They got back burnered (can I use that as a word?) in favor of some other silly stories.

In looking over all my years of PiBoIdMo ideas, I noticed something.

My ideas fell into three basic camps. Happy, silly stories; scientific type stories; and what could best be described as biographical stories. There are a few of the science-y ones that could cross over into the biographical section, mainly because I would get ideas while watching PBS Nova and Nature shows.

When Tara asked me to write this blog post, I wracked my brain to come up with something inspirational that dozens of previous blog posts this month and in year’s past hadn’t touched on. For inspiration on my inspirational post—I went to my kid-lit bookshelf. I pulled piles of books down and grouped them by subject. Then the ones that fell into the above themes got re-shelved.

I had five books left.

“Goodbye Mousie” by Robie H Harris. She was a speaker one year for the NY-SCBWI conference, so it’s autographed. It’s a book about a young boy dealing with the death of his pet mouse.

“The Goodbye Cancer Garden” by Janna Matthies. This story deals with a mother’s battle with cancer and the affects chemotherapy have on her and her family from the little girl’s perspective.

“What’s Happening to Grandpa?” by Maria Shriver. This story is about a little girl who deals with the effects of a grandparent who’s losing his memories to Alzheimer’s disease.

“What’s Wrong With Timmy?” by Maria Shriver as well. In this book a girl befriends another child with Down’s syndrome.

“Gentle Willow” by Joyce C. Mills. Here is a story about a group of friends that deal with the illness and ultimate loss of a one of their friends.

Notice anything similar about these titles? They all deal with difficult life issues. I got the majority of them for my daughter during a particularly trying time in our lives. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer, my paternal grandfather’s Alzheimer’s disease became advanced and her best friend became very ill with pneumonia requiring a long hospitalization. It was a lot, for me, as an adult to process, and she was only 8 at the time. There were a tremendous number of questions she wanted answered. I needed help in doing that.

I’m not saying this to be a downer, or to rain on your parade. The point being—is there anywhere on your list of ideas a place for the more difficult life events which happen in some children’s lives? The death of a pet, friend or family member; a terminal illness of a loved one or the child herself; even things like discrimination; separation from a parent; or other less than joyful life events can become very worthy books. After all, someone has to write the hard stuff. Maybe that someone can be you?

Look into your life at the bumpy places. Is there a story idea waiting in the shadows to be added to your PiBoIdMo list?

A transplanted New Yorker now living in Missouri, Wendy Martin has been working as an illustrator for 25+ years. She earned a degree in Fashion Design from the Fashion Institute of Technology, then continued her art education at the School of Visual Arts with a B.F.A. in Graphic Design. After her move to Missouri in 2000, she turned her focus to her true love, children’s books. AN ORDINARY GIRL, A MAGICAL CHILD, a children’s book she both wrote and illustrated, was released in 2005. The book was picked up by a new house, edited and re-released in 2008, then went on to become a finalist in the 2009 international COVR awards. Four additional picture books and a coloring book quickly followed. Visit her on the web at WendyMartinIllustration.com.

Yes, I have noticed themes in my idea file. Thanks for sharing yours, and for pointing out that we all need books of all kinds. When I slam up against a difficult life issue, the first place I look is for a book. Picture books about those things can help parents and grandparents work with kids to help process and handle those issues. Thanks, Wendy! and congratulations on your success!

Thanks for sharing this post. I always look to picture books as a supplemental resource when dealing with difficult issues as well. I love that they were your go to as well. Time to address some big issues with my writing, 😀 Great post!

Thank you so much! I immediately reserved all five from my local library. Hard to believe any of these books escaped my detection (I too went through a similar phase with my now-9-year-old daughter) but I now have some more food for thought along the PB lines. Thanks for the suggested reads!

Thank You! I do see a common theme in my stories. Maybe I need to try unlocking some doors from parts unknown in my mind. If for no other reason than to come back to my natural inclinations or hit the ground running in a new arena.

Last month my critique group friend commented that I like to write about the hard stuff…and she’s right! It’s great motivation to hear that these types of picture books comforted your family during difficult times.

Indeed the hard stuff calls to be written. One category not mentioned is sibling loss. “Flying Hugs and Kisses” by Jewel Sample is a great resource for children to learn about grief and loss of a brother or sister. Won the National Parenting Center Seal of Approval Award. Other new grief and loss books that I have on my shelf are “The Roller Coaster Kid” by Mary Ann Rodman. It is about remembering the good times and grandparent loss. “Snowflakes Fall” by Patricia MacLachlan is about remembering childhood fun and friendship among children. Writing the hard stuff doesn’t stop at publishing a book about it. Be prepared to talk about the hard stuff too. I speak every year to professionals and families with children about sibling loss. I find it very rewarding and healing at the same time because I have suffered great loss and know what it is like to walk a thousand miles in grief and adjust to living without a loved one. If your heart is gravitating toward a book about a natural part of life…I encourage you to write it…bless another young soul with your works. Thank you for sharing.

After going through a couple of fun, silly, happy ideas these past few weeks, I never thought about including difficult subjects on my PiBoIdMo list. This weekend I received some sad news that I’m still trying to process. I’m thinking about a story, and although it’s going to be a tough challenge for me to write, I’m going to put it there, on my idea board, hoping it will help me give the bump a place. Thank you, Wendy.

Hi Wendy! Thank you so much for the article. Growing up can be confusing, sad and lonely, as well as wacky and fun. Your post was a good reminder that children need stories to help cope with these hard things. Lovely post. Hope all is well.

I’ve never noticed before, but my story ideas do have a theme! I’ve also noticed that when I have rough patches in my life, a parent or relative dying, I devote more time to my writing. It’s healing for me and some of my best stories come from those times.

I wrote one Pbook (published) about how to move forward when you have lost someone.
But since I have been and still am very sick… I find myself only writing about happy things and fun facts… Even history, I want people to laugh… My way of reacting to life’s hard moments! 🙂 I have a story about alzeimmer that hasn’t found a publisher… they are not very motivated by sad stories ! (even if my story is turned on the “fun”…
Thank you for this article !

You are right, so sad, but true and it’s life, reality and we all have to go through the difficult times. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. These hard subjects are probably not the first to march forward in our minds, but are truly needed.

That’s a good point, Wendy. I’d probably find it hard to be serious enough or end up being so serious it’s boring. There are a couple of subjects I feel strongly about but they are a bit difficult to even talk about never mind write a story for the whole world to read 😉 One day I’ll find a way. Great post!

Thanks for the reminder. I have read this genre in my classroom and at home, but do not have any of my own ideas for writing one. I don’t think this is something you can force, it needs to be authentic. I’ll keep my heart open, after all, like Wendy said “someone has to write the hard stuff.”

Thank you for this post. You’ve reminded me about a tough subject I wanted to write about, but put on the back burner. It’s so important that kids have a way to think about and talk about these issues, and picture books can be a great way to do that.

Books and stories about the difficult aspects of life really help children (and adults) gain coping skills and empathy. Thanks for bringing this to the forefront. Your article and the blustery day today are reminding me these stories are as essential as the quirky, fun ones.

Thank you Wendy. You are so right about the need to write about the ‘hard stuff.’ We have come across some beautiful books that have helped (both in my family and in the classroom) address some more difficult topics and I have always been grateful for the sensitive way these authors approach their subjects.

My themes seem to be stories about children in the garden and kids at school; all light hearted and positive. Thank you for the reminder how it is important to write for kids so that they may have a better understanding about many of the challenges of life. Just may need to revisit a draft, “My Nana has Cancer.” Thank you for the inspiration. ~Suzy Leopold

I want to read about how you come up with your silly ideas. It took me a couple minutes to get back my silly self after reading this article. But rest assured, you have inspired me today. Thanks Wendy.

Thanks for sharing, Wendy. I appreciate most the advice on reading other books for inspirations. I find when writing about difficult subjects, drawing from my own experience does not work — the stories tend to become maudlin and corny. But, gaining perspective through others’ experiences is truly helpful.

Great post! My first book, LITTLE BIRD, while not dealing with subject matter quite as serious, was a story I told to my girls when they were little. I was a single mom who had to leave her children everyday for work and had to try to explain my absence in words they could understand. Starting the day withcrying was unbearable. So I wrote it down…

Nice post! I noticed that I’ve been trending toward science, cooking and journeys. Not sure if I can pull off realistic heavy subjects for kid lit but perhaps with a fantasy twist? Thanks for the inspiration!

There were some pre-PiBoIdMo posts on the notion of choosing a theme to create ideas by–but I hadn’t considered what themes were developing among: the ideas I have written, the manuscripts I’ve written, or the books I’ve collected along the way. I can’t wait to go look. Thanks Wendy.

Wow, this comes at such a strange time. A friend of mine was murdered by her boyfriend last week, and I was wondering if there are any books that would help a child get through something horrific like that. I think it would be too painful for me to write, but I hope someone does.

I think a theme naturally comes out if there are things you want to say about a difficult situation -especially if you’ve found insight through it or helpful ways to cope. We need book like this for sure! Thank you.

We all deal with tough times in our lives when we need help, and so do kids, even when we’re there to help. Sibling rivalry is one that may or many not have been done to death. But I have a couple grandkids, close in age who have a major personality clash, which could be dealt with in a helpful and/or humorous way in books. The ideas my granddaughter comes up with to outdo her older brother, blow my mind. Sometimes letting them work it out by themselves, isn’t the best solution. And sometimes their solutions can be really humorous.
Thank you for you post. Sometimes we need reminders that children need more help to understand and deal with tough issues than we think they do.

I reappy appreciate this posting Wendy! It’s so impt that the pb world continue to publish books that are not in the norm of big market sales but still cover impt tough topics for children. It’s sometimes hard to find these types of books so I am real happy that you are delving into this topic and writing books based on these relevant topics – thank you!

As an educator who served in the poorest schools within the community, I saw first hand the complex and horrific issues children face. Helping a child process these issues allowed them to free their mind enough to embrace the day’s lessons. Books are a fantastic way to guide a child in the process. Many of the books I have planned deal with the difficult stuff. They need it. Thank you for the encouragement!

With all the comments from publishing houses these days of only looking for character driven (with three struggles included before resolution) books, it’s nice to see a comment made on the stories which simply touch a nerve or a heart. Those are the types of ideas dancing around in my head a lot and you have validated the writer who chooses to pursue those ideas. Thank you…

Thank you. I’ve just written a story about a girl and her granny who dies. It’s had some great feedback (and it’s my agent’s favourite thing I’ve written, including the ones that got published) but it’s a really hard sell, especially if you use humans rather than animal characters. But we’re not giving up!

I’m writing a serious picture book about my son who was born with a rare brain disorder. This one is my heart. It’s told from his pov. It’s titled, I’M JUST LIKE YOU. Thanks for taking the time to post for us.

Love your work and i totally agree. I always think someone should write a book like that for kids when something difficult to explain happens. Kids dont get as much credit as they deserve in being aware of more adult situations.

You have made me thinking again. I hate to be cornered into thinking of themes, but my ideas and stories are easy to group. My writing coach was able to see the theme before I did. I am analyzing my ideas,and I see the theme thread weaving through the list. They are a multi-cultural theme weaved through my early years. Thanks for waking me up and seeing my relationship to my writings.

RABBIT’S SONG looks lovely! Wanna hop right in! Yes, I hover over the harder topics, too. I did write an ms earlier this year about a rescue dog that discusses briefly some of the pain he endured. These are topics that kids need to know about also! Not a downer at all!

Thank you so much Wendy. I too have delved in the “dark” subjects. I have written a manuscript for a children’s story about my cousin and cancer. I have it sitting on my shelf with other manuscripts. I take it out from time to time to look at it…. I really think it could be a nice story but it is so difficult to find a publisher that wants to take the plunge in such subjects. Thanks again Wendy 🙂

Thank you very much, Wendy! Like you my thoughts always go to history, science and nature due to a lifetime of PBS. I’ve felt at a loss to write anything silly or fluffy. I owned a hobby farm for along enough to experience the sadness of animal loss, so farm animals are another constant theme. A Little Brown AD said my work was well suited to biographies, which was the first push towards a slightly more serious direction. Your post today was a great validation that it is ok to head towards harder themes.

Thank you Wendy. I have a PB that I someday want to write to help children deal with the loss of a grandparent to cancer. Right now it is just too hard to try to do, I lost my Dad last year to leukemia. But someday, I know I will find the strength to write it and I hope it will help lots of children in their time of grief. What better gift than to aid them when they need it most.

Hmmm, you make an excellent point Wendy. Children need books on a myriad of topics, not just entertainment books. There is a lot that happens that is hard for them to understand and PB can be helpful…. Thanks!

Good post. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of writing the same thing over and over. My 12×12 story for this month is turning into a cancer story. It’s presently at a dead halt, because this is not the type of story I usually write, and I feel like I’m drowning. I may revert back to a happy, silly story and try this again after a break.

I looked back through my list for the month and realized I have a few ideas that deal with difficult topics, one of them being death of a father. When my husband died I had a hard time finding decently written books for my son to help him cope. Guess I get to write what I was looking for all those years ago.

Thanks for a thought provoking post. Following on from last year’s PiBoIdMo I have finsihed and submitted a humorouse pic. bk. dealing with cancer. Feedback I am getting is that it is not a suitable topic for a picture book but should be a young reader!
I’m definitley going to seek out the titles you mention.
Thanks again

I was asking about this just the other day on a FaceBook page! Namely, how does one write a good picture book from the place of a pretty crappy childhood? I know books for kids going through rough times are needed though, so I’m trying.

Congratulations on your book and coloring book to come soon. 🙂 I tend to be more theme/educational in my writing. I guess it makes sense since I was a teacher for a long time. Thanks for sharing and saying it’s okay to write the hard stuff. 🙂

I’ve noticed I seem to come back to the same themes over again, I’m wondering if that’s because there is a book about that issue that needs to be written but I haven’t found the best idea yet.
I think writing about the difficult/sad issues of life can be particularly challenging. Especially as we try to write without preaching, maintain hope and remain in the child’s view of the world.

You succeeded in originality, Wendy! Thank you for reminding me to look at themes and to, sometimes, branch off and touch the messy cow pie that may be resting near my roots. I wish you continued success.

Yes I have indeed noticed a theme this year. Many ideas about journeys and adventures. I’m in a place of transition in my life. I was reading your post while nursing my 6 month old and I must still be ragingly hormonal because I caught an idea like a brick to the head.

It was James Barrie’s quote from Peter Pan, which I read at age 5 “To die will be an awfully big adventure.”

I have some close and recent experience here. But for the love of what, can I write such a thing – and from the perspective of the CHILD? A book for the child as well as those who love him? And without being gushy?

And I get this idea while nursing a healthy 6 month old? Yowch.

I used to do some illustrations for Starlight and there are a lot of sick children. Many who die quite young and know darn well they are going to. This is a heartbreakingly dark place to go for a children’s book. I don’t know if others have made a stab at this subject outside of special publications, and it’s been a long time since I read “Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes, ” But perhaps we artists need to shine a little light on this subject as well for an even younger audience. I’m not sure if I can do this but time will tell. And I wanted to share this idea.

Thanks for the great post, Wendy. I have a couple of manuscripts on difficult themes. You’re right, kids who are struggling need to know they’re not alone, that someone’s been through what they’re going through. That’s one of the great things the right book can do.

Great post. Thank you for sharing. Most of my themes have been on a happy and whimsical but you’ve given me a lot of food for thought and perhaps it’s time to tackle the more serious aspects of life. I’ll give it a shot. Thanks.

A close friend and young mother of 5 died earlier this year. I have been helping out with the kids, and have had the idea of writing a children’s book based on the experience, that would hopefully be helpful to kids that go through these types of losses. Thank you for your ‘permission.’ Maybe I will move beyond the thought stage now.

Thanks for this post, Wendy. I attempted to write my first “difficult issue” book this July after my sister lost her newborn baby. It is very challenging to write these issues into a picture book, but it is not impossible. Thanks for the inspiration to revisit this and add a new idea to my list.

Thanks for the thoughtful post, Wendy. I definitely believe that picture books can be wonderful ways to express difficult topics. I hope that I can come up with a story that can contribute to this theme.
Thank-you, Tara, for bringing so many awesome posts together!

Thanks Wendy. During PiBoIdMo I have noticed a theme running through many of my ideas. I would love to have more fun and create imaginative silly stories but maybe that is not me. Many of my stories are more wistful childhood memories, I just have to be aware that they are actually stories rather than descriptions. You have given me the confidence to go on!

My main theme for story ideas seems to be animals and nature, but on my list I have an idea for a book on the topic of Alzheimer’s since I’m a caregiver for my father who has that horrid disease. I hadn’t thought as much about a child’s book about cancer (my mother died of cancer) since that is a tougher one for me to see from a child’s perspective. It’s emotionally painful in a different way. Perhaps that is one I should consider, though.
Thanks for a post to start us thinking beyond the coming-up-with-ideas phase.

Not all of my ideas have been funny or silly. Some have been sad. Kids are always trying to understand what happens around them. I think of my job as a writer is to help them make sense of their world.

Thanks for your post! It was nice to read a post about the importance of books about ‘difficult life issues’. A book that I wrote/illustrated with a serious theme is going to be published by Guardian Angel Publishing soon…

This is a good reminder and I’m sure some of us will like to explore these themes. I’d personally have a hard time writing on some difficult subjects, as I tend to focus on the positive and avoid this type of uncomfortable situation, for good or bad. I think laughter is the best medicine. 🙂

This is a wonderful reminder, Wendy…the bumpy moments in our lives make for great stories. I’ve been working on a pb this past year that deals with a deployed parent and how the child must cope with the ache that never goes away.
Goodbye Mousie is one of my favorites…the death of a pet is often the first time a young child must face saying goodbye forever.
I’m sad that PiBoIdMo is almost over…but very excited to get busy with the ideas in my journal that are poking me to pay attention to them.:)

I have thought of this! I discovered that writing about these life issues is really hard. Even have a person in my critique group who is trying to write one. It’s so difficult, but when she gets it finished it will be a wonderful book to help people through these situations.

Now I need to go look at my ideas and put them into catagories. See how many I have. Kind of scary but fun as well!

Picture books about tough stuff is certainly needed. They may not make the best bedtime stories, but they certainly help children and their parents through hard times. Thanks for encouraging us to consider this topic.

Writing about such tough topics could be therapeutic for the author as well as the reader. A children’s book can help explain or at least give opportunity for discussion about topics that most adults prefer to avoid with young children. Great idea.

Very inspirational! I agree, it is often difficult to deal with some of life’s twists and turns, I know it helps me to write about it, even if it’s in a journal (for my eyes only)…thank you for sharing!

Thanks for this helpful suggestion about tackling the hard topics. You’ve already given me an idea for today — one that strikes close to my own heart and I’m excited to explore the possibilities! Thanks again!

We should not be afraid to write about difficult situations just because we don’t want to make people sad. Sometimes, stories like these help kids/people feel less alone and deal with the situations better.

Thank you , Wendy. The hard stuff needs to be written so why not me (us). There are too many hurting children and their feelings, concerns, and questions need to be validated. Writing the picture book may be the answer.

Books can offer solace, advice, and models for wading through difficult times for children – look at the plethora of self-help adult books. Thanks for giving us valuable insight into a niche for kids….

Thanks for this post Wendy. I don’t like remembering the bumpy times, but you are right, there is always something in there that children can relate to. More good books are needed for children dealing with difficult times. Thanks for the reminder.

My husband is a teacher and their class pets… two mice, just passed away. I think we need the “Goodbye Mousie” book. But I’m a counselor… and I think this post is spot-on. We need good books that walk kids through difficult things.Thanks for this post!

This is a timely article. Our family’s favorite holiday has always been thanksgiving – and one year we hit a very bumpy road which involved my father’s sudden death, 11 year old nephew’s cancer diagnosis, my mother diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and my son’s ocd, tourette’s and asperger’s.
You are right. Stories are needed to get kids through tough times.

Flash forward 5 years – we have emerged stronger, have learned so much and now are getting ready to gather for Thanksgiving. At the center of this is a tablecloth handed down from my great-grandmother. And that is where the story begins, and ends.
Thanks you for sharing.

Thank you for this perspective…and I know of a few mothers who seek out picture books to help deal with particularly problems that they face with their children. It is a genuine need and can really help. A few things have come to mind that I could work on.

Boy, I’m thankful for those authors who tackle these subjects because they are so important. I just don’t think I could do one. I’ve had boulders in my road, and I seem to be able to use them in writing MG novel, but not PB. Maybe one day. Thanks for the nice post.

Wendy,
Hi to another transplanted NYer!!! I noticed a theme with me too! I think you are right about writing about difficult times. It helps us face fears and also lets the reader know they are not alone!

I do have an idea for a PB that explains Tourette Syndrome in ways young kids can understand. My adult son has severe TS and we are seeing symptoms in my 5 yr old grandson. I want to explain it in such a way that seeing it in others is ‘no big deal’…just one more variation in this big human family. I hope I can pull it off.

I was so thrilled to be introduced to your work and to find Ordinary Girl: A Magical Child. I am always looking for books about the Wheel of the Year to read to my kids. I actually think my list tends to be a bit heavy on the heavy stuff…I could use a little more silly. But it’s really nice to hear validation for the themes that obsess me.

Wendy, this is a particularly good post for me. Looking back I can see that I’m a ‘happy-funny’ writer, as most of my stories are humorous or funny. I NEED to explore writing about difficult subjects. Thanks so much for this challenge.