Without a Clousseau

by Mickey Z.

Dissident Voice
January 6, 2003

With a defense
budget...wait, let's cut with the bullshit: With a war budget of over $350
billion dollars per year, even a Soldier of Fortune subscriber might be
wondering if we taxpayers are getting our money's worth. Is all the legal
tender being funneled away from social programs making anyone except defense
contractors feel safe? And who are the folks trusted with the responsibility of
allotting that monumental sum?

I didn't exactly
have to waste hours scouring exact expenditures to get the feeling that US
decision makers fall into the Austin Powers/Maxwell Smart league.

Logging on to www.1stheadlines.com, I found an item
from the British press that got me started. In the name of turning Hussein's
people against him, the US Central Command is broadcasting anti-Saddam
propaganda over Iraqi radio. Along with the following excerpts, I was going to
take time to offer examples to show precisely how hypocritical the messages
are. After re-reading them, I came to the conclusion that it'd be best to stand
back let 'em be.

To the soldiers
of Iraq:

"Since the
beginning of time, there has been no profession more honorable than that of a
soldier. Soldiers are decorated with awards and medals that show their
achievements and mark their skills. The uniform of a soldier is an article that
demands respect, and loyalty. Soldiers are the defenders of their people, and
the protectors of women and children. A soldier is willing to sacrifice himself
for his country and their way of life. Soldiers sacrifice their own personal
freedoms to protect others. Saddam has tarnished this legacy. Saddam spews
forth political rhetoric along with a false sense of national pride to deceive
these men to serve his own unlawful purposes. Saddam does not wish the soldiers
of Iraq to have the honor and dignity that their profession warrants. Saddam
seeks only to exploit these brave men. Saddam uses the soldiers of Iraq not as
protectors of the peace, but rather as his own personal bodyguards. Do not let
Saddam tarnish the reputation of soldiers any longer. Saddam uses the military
to persecute those who don't agree with his unjust agenda. Make the
decision."

To the people of
Iraq:

"Throughout
the history of the world, mankind has shown a desire to progress and expand.
Great leaders have built vast civilizations and empires that spanned
continents. These leaders have sponsored education programs, paved vast roads,
and built housing for the less fortunate. The leaders of the past have turned
deserts into arable land, and created innovations which made life easier for
their people. The great leaders of the past are known for their generosity and
charity towards their own people, as well as their neighboring lands. In
Afghanistan, once the Taliban was removed from power, the standard of living
drastically improved. Relief aid is pouring into Afghanistan and is
appropriately distributed. Schools are open and people all across Afghanistan
are better off. However, there have been leaders who were not moved by charity
and good will. These leaders were motivated solely by greed and power. Josef
Stalin was one such leader. Stalin was set on world domination, and it was his
regime that began nearly a half-century of brutal domination through Eastern
Europe. Stalin oppressed his people as he ruled over his country with an iron
fist. During his reign as a dictator, Stalin killed and imprisoned millions of
his own people. Millions of others were forcefully displaced and ended up
living many miles away from their own homes. This dictator cared nothing for
his own people, he merely sought to exploit them to perpetuate his regime and
flawed ideology. In the end, the world has paid a higher price for not stopping
men like Stalin when they had the chance. Many millions of people have lost
their lives needlessly under these oppressive regimes and in wars started by
these leaders. The loss of life and the needless suffering could have been
minimized had action been taken sooner. History has shown that appeasement of
brutal domineering regimes only brings greater tragedy. Saddam too has a lust
for power, and the world will stand up and put an end to the terror he imposes
on others, before he destroys Iraq and crushes the hopes of its proud
people."

(The website
also printed samples of leaflets being dropped by the US and Britain over Iraq.
After downloading the radio scripts, I went back for the leaflets but all
mention of the scripts and leaflets had vanished. A call has been put in to Lt.
Frank Drebin to investigate.)

With the Iraq
situation obviously in good hands, the US still has a few billion or so
leftover for use in the war on terror...what's next, a war on fear? I think I
prefer anxiety or dread. And you can be certain the geniuses that run things
are all over it. In fact, the January 5, 2003 New York Times gave us a inside
look at the way super spies operate.

In a piece
entitled, "On the Scent of Terrorists," reporter Nicholas Wade tells
us that Darpa (the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) is looking for
"someone to develop a sniffing machine that can detect individuals by
their body odor."

Ollie might call
this a "neat idea."

Dubbing it,
"the grand patron of exotic military arts" (although admitting that
"not everything it does works") Wade explains that Darpa is
soliciting "innovative proposals to (1) determine whether
genetically-determined odortypes can be used to identify specific individuals,
and if so (2) to develop the science and enabling technology for detecting and
identifying specific individuals by such odortypes."

Wade himself
does some soliciting...for "experts" to quote.

Dr. Gary
Beauchamp, director of the Monell Chemical Sense Center in Philadelphia, noted
"that odors can be detected through just a handful of molecules" and
thus "the smells from a fugitive can linger for hours or days."

Peter Mombaerts
of Rockefeller University: "The general idea is not that far-fetched or
outrageous."

Armed with such
unanimous, well-rounded support, Wade proffers an example of precisely how
un-outrageous this plan is: "Supposing the C.I.A. had picked up an old
jalabia worn by Ayman al-Zawahiri or Mullah Omar, perhaps it could waft the
odors into Darpa's people sniffer and take the instrument on an interesting
tour of the back country of Afghanistan or Yemen."