What an ER Doctor Tells Her Friends

Do doctors really look at your underwear? Should you lie to get seen faster? When should you stay home? Jill Baren, chair of emergency medicine at the University of Pennsylvania's Perelman School of Medicine, gets personal with tips for a more efficient ER visit.

Forget what you've seen on TV — we don't need to hear your whole life story

Forget what you've seen on TV — we don't need to hear your whole life story

"I give my friends ER advice that's different from the advice I'd give if they were going to see a primary-care doctor for the first time. In that case, a good long chat can be very helpful. But in the ER, cut to the chase. Sometimes people come in and they ramble and go off on tangents. I say, 'When did your chest pain start?' I get, 'Well, 13 years ago…' and what I need to know is, when did it start today? On TV, patients in ERs always have these dramatic backstories, but in real life, we can give the best help if you focus on the acute issue, the triggering event."

Please don't drive your kid to the ER

"It's understandable why you'd want to get a sick or injured child in the car and go: You're anxious and you think, I can get there faster! But a distraught parent is not a safe driver. I've seen plenty of cases of traffic accidents involving panicked mothers at the wheel. You could hit another car, injuring yourself or somebody else, and maybe prevent the child from receiving a life saving intervention from a medical professional like a paramedic. I tell my friends who are parents that if they find themselves in an emer gency, call 911 and stay put."

Nothing is so embarrassing that you should avoid the ER

Nothing is so embarrassing that you should avoid the ER

"If you need medical help and you want anonymity, your place is in the emergency room. The ER doctor is not there to judge your wild night, your tattoos, anything. Look, I've seen bags of cocaine fall out of patients' pockets, but I'm not a police officer, I'm a doctor. I have no interest in reporting people—I just want to get them through their health crisis. If somebody sustained an injury from a compromising situation related to a sexual encounter—say, they're into some practice that's not so mainstream, or they're not willing to discuss it with their primary-care provider—the ER is a perfect solution. They're guaranteed to see a high-level, well-trained physician with whom they don't have any relationship."

…But be prepared for some personal questions

"We ask the same questions of everybody. It's not like we targeted you; we just have to understand your history, and it's all confidential. You could be a suburban, middle-class woman in a twin set, but we could ask you about homosexual or heterosexual practices, use of any kinds of sex toys, if you're an injection drug user, if you smoke speed, if you've been drinking. If we have any suspicion of physical abuse, we might ask you about that too. We're not making assumptions—we're just doing our job."