Opinion Articles

Is it the end of the USA? After the recent Presidential election a lot of people were devastated with the results. I think if you base opinions on things said during the election period there would be some reason for concern. I for one am not worried. Why? Because I realize how campaigns are carried out in America and that Donald Trump is a salesman first. He knew how to play on what people most wanted to hear, mostly about jobs and ignored his idiotic rants. Were the rants the right things to say? No.

I’m hoping to see the person I’ve seen during one on one interviews as opposed to the campaign trail speeches where he veered away from his script and went off on a tangent. He’s not a great ad-libber. I’m also considering how politics works. Presidents get into office in America and not a whole lot actually happens. A few policies are worked on but over all not much really takes place and a great deal doesn’t change, especially when it comes to relations with other nations.

In addition, I’m hoping Trump’s ego keeps him focused. He will want to end up with a presidency better than Obama’s. So I hope he puts the right people in the real Cabinet positions that do things. So far all he’s chosen are advisory people, not actual Cabinet Secretaries. There is hope. Or so I hope.

My friends around the world don’t need to worry. My friends within the US don’t need to worry. Donald Trump has been a Democrat his whole life until recently. Not sure why he changed other than in reaction to how Obama made fun of him at a White House Press Diner a few years ago. Maybe he decided at that point to show the President and everyone there that he would have the last laugh.

As a Christian I am praying that common sense rules and I know that no matter what that God has control of my life and my ultimate reward. I’m here only for a brief moment in time as a visitor.

Again to my friends, don’t fear Trump or take seriously his rants he went off on during the campaign, they were just that, rants. Some of you won’t like what I’ve said, but I’ve been pretty quiet about all of this and everything else. Donald Trump wasn’t my choice for President. My choice wasn’t on the ballot. I put up with Obama for 8 years, I guess I can put up with Trump for the next 4.

If you’re still reading, note the great use of hope and pray in this post. That’s all we can ever do with anyone elected to anything.

I wanted to do a Throwback Thursday Post, but I have so many I found it difficult to sort through them all to find one to share again. I did find this one in my folders on my computer. I didn’t find it in my posts and thought why not share it now. This is a favorite topic of mine.

How do you start your day? Yeah, I know, we all hit the bathroom first usually, but let’s say everything is set and good to go, what do you do?

More than likely you are beginning your day the wrong way. The way you start your day has an impact on the way you live your day.

“Bull, Ronovan. Other people dictate my day!”

I don’t want to hear it. When I wake up in the morning, I am the one in control of my thoughts and actions. I am actually in control of my reactions the entire day. If I begin with a positive and centered self, a truly focused self, then I can be positive in my interactions for the day and stay positive throughout the day.

If you don’t start out focused then you are simply reacting the rest of the day and often times with negative emotions attached.

“So how do we do this, oh great and wise Ronovan?”

Yes I hear the sarcasm in the voice.

It’s different for everyone.

What get’s you calm and focused?

Here are examples:

Mediation

Prayer or Reading the Bible

Exercise

A cup of coffee and:

watching the sun rise

reading the newspaper

listening to music

looking at the birds in the bird feeder

reading the next chapter in a book

Listening to podcasts, music, or talk radio

Mentally going through a checklist of your day

Just knowing what you have planned for the day, even if a routine day, makes it easier on you.

Beginning your preparation for the day the night before can help

I like having my clothes ready, and an idea of what my breakfast will be and if I am needing to prepare a lunch or not. I like to think about people I will come into contact with, that I know about, and if I have an appointment and be mentally ready for that.

There are little things we can do to take care of the parts of life that are in our control, so why not do it? If I can start my day off calmly then I am not beginning it running around already hectic and in a bad mood then that’s a great start.

There are numerous ways to become calm and centered for the beginning of your day. The point is to do it.

I have had to take control of my life more lately. Even being in the physical and mental state I am in, my life is hectic with two blogs running and basically life in general. I have felt life crashing lately, with the crashing even seeping into my writing, so I have taken control of it to the extreme for the moment. Do you know what happens to your life if you are not in control of it? If you don’t start yourself off focused? You lose it, and you could lose your friends. Before that happens I decided to refocus, like I once did, every day. I am prioritizing and organizing.

Some people may not understand it, as it’s difficult to explain, but I am fine with that. This is me, the most important person in my life. I am the most important me in the life of the people I know. I want to be here for both them and me for a long time.

Here is a quote from an ancestor of mine.

Looking at this post I wrote back in September of last year, it seems I need to once again refocus. I’ve lost a lot lately. And I lose more every single day. I received an email, an understanding email from someone, then they stopped following me on Twitter. Not certain I understand that, but I am coming to terms with something. I don’t have to understand everything. The best thing I can do is try to understand me and what I am about to do, whatever that may be at the time.

Preparation. Starting my day off the right way. It’s not only the secret to a positive day, it’s the secret to a positive life, a successful life. A successful life? That’s for another post.

As always with a post, I wrote one out and it was long and rambling and ended up with a thought nowhere near the place it began. And I finally ended up with this piece. Maybe it isn’t perfect but it is my contribution.

Red hair, freckles, chubby, and new in school; what do you think those things equal to? Yep, bullied. I survived. But that’s not the bullying I want to talk about today. This is the one type of bullying every person on the planet faces and at one time or other fails at fending off.

Peer Pressure: The Bully in Disguise

We have all faced this. Some of us don’t even realize it. If you have been coerced into doing something you didn’t want to do by a friend or group of friends who knew you didn’t want to do that thing, that’s bullying. How many teens have died from that first drug taken? How many girls have ended up pregnant from having sex just one time? How many guys and girls for that matter, have ended up hurt for life because they played a sport they didn’t want to?

What is some obvious ways Peer Pressure looks like?

I was bullied in the traditional way until I got a little older, and figured things out. One thing I rarely fell in to was peer pressure. I saw it happen to friends. That guy in history class who couldn’t lift his head up as he vomited all over his desk because he had drank a whole bottle of vodka or at least most of one before school, the sex behind the concession stand, the sex in the school bus, smoking in the bathrooms. The shoplifting just that once. You name it and someone you know has likely been bullied with the threat of being an outcast because they weren’t cool enough to be adult enough.

But what other types of Peer Pressure Bullying are there?

But it doesn’t stop with those behaviors. My son has let his grades slip. He’s still getting top marks but he’s just doing it at the bottom of that. He didn’t like being called one of the two nerdiest kids in his grade. I told him Bill Gates is a nerd. Nerds make those fancy electronics that all those kids play on rather than focus on studying.

Peer pressure is even present in how we eat.

“You’re eating a fruit cup, yogurt, and a salad at McDonalds?”

“You want water instead of a Coke?”

Even TV.

“You watch Educational TV instead of ESPN?

The traditional type of bullying is bad but Peer Pressure is bullying people haven’t thought about. It’s the kind that kills more teens, likely causes more suicides, and does more damage to our society, cultures, and nations than anything.

The United States government tries to force a certain required system of teaching in place. Any teacher knows you can’t do that. The US worries about dropping further behind nations in education. It’s not that teaching has been wrong; we learned the old ways and are doing fine, and so are the teachers trying to teach this new way.

The problem is countries don’t focus on supporting an environment where each child is to flourish in the area they are best suited for without being made to feel better than others or lesser than others. Each person has a skill, a talent. To change peer pressure it will take decades, decades of first our generation then the next, and then the next to stop it. Once you can give a student self worth and have them understand other students’ self worth, a lot of the other type of bullying will stop.

Building for Bullying Part One.

As I grew older and realized who I was and what I was I saw the problems with peer pressure around me. Some reputations were destroyed of some great young people I knew and they never recovered. Maybe that’s why I am less of a joiner and a late joiner when I do. I sit back and watch and listen and learn. When I am ready, if I am ready, I will take the next step. But the step has to be for me because I want to.

You can look at my blog and tell I’m not exactly a conformist. I don’t write content that is focused on one thing or in one style. My reading selections are all over the place. I have every type of friend you can have. I’ve gone my own way. I’ve learned from other peoples’ mistakes. And what I’ve learned I’ve passed on to my son, many students, and youth group members as well as adults that have worked for me over the years.

I could have become a bully. I am a big guy. Temper back then. I was being bullied, and taunted when I snapped. I grabbed the guy by the jacket, spun him around onto the stands in the gym and informed him I was sick of it in a very vocally forceful way. No foul words. Then I sat back down. He was scared. People wanted me to fight him all day. I never did. His bullying reputation was ruined. I didn’t want to start my own.

Building From Bullying Part Two

When my son comes home and talks about a bully, we talk about bullying. We discuss it, who the kid is, what they are like. We discuss why bullies are the way they are. We talk about how fortunate he is to have parents that raise him in a way that doesn’t promote bullying and that is loving and respectful of him and what he likes.

Don’t get me wrong, the word ‘NO’ exists in the house. Usually he knows it’s coming, but he still has to try. A lot of times he’ll be smiling knowing what an answer will be. I’ve discusses in posts before of his intelligence and his heart. He doesn’t hold grudges against kid bullies. Adults though? He holds them more responsible. Yes, he knows adults bully kids. Told you, he’s smart. But he moves on and he treats everyone the same, bully or friend alike. To him, just about everyone is a friend until they do something that is just really dumb.

How much does my son stand up to bullies? He’s the hero of his grand. An older kid had four of them pinned to the wall by the neck with his arms. My son got away and distracted him so the others got away. Then he told a teacher, in spite of the other boys saying not to. Smart, a heart, and brave. He has a sense of right and wrong that is so ingrained that it shocks me at times. Bullies beware.

I suppose you might want to know what a Mick Flick is. Well every man fears, actually dreads two words; Chick Flick. That’s right, we know what it means. Romance, tears and we are deemed as failures either because we are men or because we aren’t the men in that, dare I say it, RomCom.

Instead of Chick Flicks, men need an alternative. And this is something we men need to embrace and women, you should as well and you may find date nights become a whole new experience.

The alternative? Rooster Flicks? No. I don’t even like saying Chick Flicks so giving it some form of relevance by actually calling the alternative as Rooster doesn’t work for me. And with the various possible definitions one could give to Rooster based ones mindset and locale, I am just not going there. No, Male Chick Flick. That’s right, the Mick Flick.

What constitutes a Mick Flick?

It needs a touch of humor if it doesn’t have action.

It needs to tug the heartstrings in some way, with a message or something.

And yeah, an attractive female lead might work out, but it’s not completely necessary. Oh, you don’t believe me on this one? I shall prove you wrong, although attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. For me it is the eye of the personality. Pretty lady, ugly personality equals scary run the other way. Yeah, NOT attractive.

Today’s Mick Flick is:

I look at this somewhat as a send off of Father Goose with Cary Grant and Leslie Caron, but a very sad excuse for one as far as that goes. Being that is a thinly veiled one that was afraid to come out and be said to be one. On its own merits Six Days is a pretty decent movie. I don’t know what the score is yet as I write this. You have a middle aged Quinn Harris who is living the quiet life in the South Pacific islands until fashion journalist Robin Monroe shows up with her boyfriend for a vacation and ends up hiring Quinn for a plane ride to a fashion even her boss talks her into. A storm hits. Pirates. Dancers. Too much to drink. You get the picture? Well if you have got the picture already then watch it again.

Now time for the BroJo to get going.

Men, why you need to watch this movie.

You’ve got Harrison Ford doing some comedy, some action, and being a sarcastic, straight speaking sort of guy we all want to be like. Plus the island dancing girl for the cheap sex appeal thing. It’s a gimmick but funny for its over the top cheapness.

Now to the ranking of the movie:

Good acting: With Ford you know you’re going to get good acting. Heche? She does fairly well although I don’t think she quite holds her own with Ford. But do they make me believe? Yes.

Attractive Female Lead: Not a Anne Heche fan. And not because of the psychological problems she’s had and things like that. Just not a big fan of hers in general. She does do well in the role here as far as acting and a convincing job, her first real big time role. No.

Insane Characters: Angelica, the local island girl is a bit nuts I think. Well she’s not so much. She knows what she is doing when going after Robin Monroe’s fiancé Ross, I mean David Schwimmer. Yes.

Humor: Definitely some humor here. Yes.

Bodily Harm: Fights, guns, pirates, plane crashes. Yes.

Food Humor: Don’t think so. No.

Action: Yes. See Bodily Harm. Yes.

Good Message: Age ain’t a thing when your heart’s feels that zing. Yes.

Male Lead is Not Made Out to Be Stupid: Other than falling for Heche, Ford’s character is cool. Angelica of Heche? Okay, okay, overall he’s smart. Yes.

Cuddle Taco Bonus: I’ll say no this week. I mean it could be if late enough and tired enough, bt that ain’t the CTB we be talkin’ about here.

So on the Taco Scale of 10 Tacos being awesome and 1 being like tacos without the meat, cheese or sauce,today’s Mick Flick receives:

7 out of 10 Tacos.

I would get the bean dip and the guac this week, guys

I think 7 Tacos is about right. A couple of categories were a close yes so this was a very weak 7 with more like a mid to strong 6 Tacos.

That’s my Cromedy Recommendation for this weekend. What movie can you think of that meets the Mick Flick requirements? I already have future movies in a list so don’t be surprised if you end up seeing your idea in a future post. Leave a comment and let me know your pick.

Much Respect and Much Cuddling for you This Weekend, well, if you leave out the bean dip.

Like this:

We are all different. A bit of an obvious statement but in parts of the world being different isn’t accepted, expected, or tolerated in the slightest. If we were all meant to be the same it would be a very boring and no-point-in-free-will world.

Each of us is meant to give something to the world as a whole. No, that doesn’t mean I am going to go and invent something that will save the universe from the attack of the space amoebas. (Do I get nerd points for spelling that right the first time?)

However, I may be the person that influences the person that does invent that something. We look at ourselves at times and since we are different from the norm we sometimes turn ourselves into the ultimate anti-norm we can, feeling that is what we are supposed to be. It is our badge of honor somehow. It pushes us away from society and love and friends and happiness. Perhaps being alone is your happiness, perhaps it’s your norm. But I don’t think complete and total alone-ness is anyone’s norm.

Yes, society is part of the problem of our lack of acceptance of who we are. You may be a lover of punk rock with Goth influences and love watching Harry Potter while eating cotton candy. And you read Fifty Shades to discover how not to write a book for quality but for sensationalist salesmanship of secret desires you would like to explore but are ashamed to admit. If you admit all of that, people will look at you strangely and that look influences you without you even realizing at times.

But there is something you are missing. You are important as you. If you like to wear Polo shirts and khaki pants plus do all those things above then do it. Why, because that’s you. You are your norm. The only norm in the universe is what people are meant to be. Not what a society expects people to be.

The importance of being you is that you are meant to influence something in this world for something good. This isn’t to say you are to intentionally go about seeking out what that is. Just. Be. You. As a teacher I know of what I speak. There may be something I said that made an impact in a student’s life that then brought about something in them that then led to something in another and so on.

The power of positivity in life is an expanding phenomenon. It’s a building block on top of another and another and another leading to something. One harsh word, one sarcastic barb, one insensitive comment at the wrong time and you, yes you, may push a person over a line. What is that line? Perhaps it is not going to college, not getting a job, committing suicide . . . not asking for help . . . not asking for help again.

Whatever you are, that’s the line you should take without embarrassment or shame or feeling awkward. The ultimate expression of love—to me—would be to be you and not an imitator or fake. Truth is love. Therefore, you being who you are is love and that is so important in this world. Once you realize it’s okay to be you, it’s the norm to be you, then you recognize and accept it’s okay and the norm for other people to be themselves is okay as well.

I thought I would add a little mention after a reader thought of the above article. Do not think that if your norm is to be a murderer or child molester is something that would be considered positive on the world. The I idea someone might consider those lines of behavior as norms of positivity that I would think of never occurred to me and thus never entered the original article above.