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Fancy

**A Short non descript Dwarf opens the door and slips into the Tavern. about waist high to the ordinary human. This likely fellow is attired in a bright red Thong and other than a Axe of his and a semi toothless smile, that is all. Nearly as thick across the middle as he is high, the Dwarf waddles across the room and plunks his axe down in the corner. Wheeling and spinning as he jumps amid an empty table. eyeing the fair Lilly all the while**

"Table Dances anyone? Short Out of luck Dwarf with a penchant for the ladies. Giving Table Dances for ales!! Or gold whatever have ye?" Spinning around and slapping a cheek before popping a thin string of his thong.

"Step right up Ladies and umm well anyone who wants to buy me an ale" Starts a slow bump and grind to tease Lilly as he looks her in the eye.
humming "Come and get ya some" An old Evil way tune from way back.

Render trips over Tiger on the way out, checking to see if the gentleman attempting to claw his own eyes out will be okay.

Satisfied that Tiger will survive, he enters the tavern out of curiosity from the noise.

His eyes narrow when he sees Tater and tilts his head to make sure he sees what he sees.

Doesn't anyone else know how to stop a dancing dwarf? Sighing, he pulls paper currency from his pocket and places it in Tater's thong, snapping it hard in place to cover as much as he possibly can and maybe raise a welt.

"Come on, Tater, I'll buy you a drink. I applaud the solid body image, don't see that every day. Nice axe. What will you have?"

hehe

**watches a patron fall out of the door backwords screaming. Thinking how he must have been so over come with this physique that he needed a moment to compose himself.**

"Dont worry Lad it does the same to me ev'r time i see it in the mirror!!!" as his hips beat a rythm to the retreating footsteps

**Short stumpy limps undulating to a unheard rythm as he eyes the fair Lilly peddaling her petals.**

"Well Get on over here wench You show me your yers and I will show ya mine!!.. errrrr whats that ye say" His attention broke by a male patron

"You aplauu aplauuu errhmm what? I am not that kinda a Dwarf!! Well there was that time in .. ahh nevermind!!" Gratefully glad there is paper currency these days as he deftly climbs down from the table.

"ahh axe you say sonny.. Hey Bartender!!!.. Down here!!! ............Look down here over the bar top!!... I ll have a fresh ale curtsey of this gentlemen here" Points to Render " Axe you say ahemmm well ya see there was this incident back in ummmm 92 or so with me and these to troll barbs. mind you if you repeat me coversin with any dem trolls I will deny it. Anyhow it seems I kinda ended up with dat axe and dem gals ended up runnin off with all me clothes."

**Barely Clad the Thong little else to imagine as patrons who would watch would see the 3 foot dwarf barely a inch under the bartop scratches his overly hairy body in well ummm***

"den come the dark ages as we around here know it fer when many folks left these lands fer distant place. Me not havin no armor what can a dwarf in a red tong do in combat I say sonny? " Tossing down the last of his ale.

"Well sonny ya had yer fun,, thats all ye get fer a drink and its time for me to shake my money maker again.. cya.." Spins around does a solo tango across to the empty table " Oh Lilly Daddies back!!!

**Patrons watch as Tater climbs the table like it was a mountain only averting there eyes when he leans forward to toss a leg up on the tabletop, shielding their eyes with their hands**

<bumps into the door on the way back inside, a blind fold tied around his eyes>

Is it gone?!?!

<knocks over a chair, feeling his way inside, finds a table, not sensing any movment from the table slowly peeks from under the blindfold>

Is it safe?

<sees the dwarf again, mere inches from my own nose, I fall over and die on the spot a single thought running through my head as I pass from consciousness, "Some things are not meant to be seen with my half elven eyes.">

"If the earth were flesh, then it would bleed our blood." -TigerTigerForce.net

Render nods politely during the discussion and listens for his opening, wondering when he could offer his cape.

As soon as it seems like his opening has arrived, he opens his mouth and raises a hand in aid, looking away briefly to release a clasp and be generous.

When he turns back around he hears "Daddies back!!!" and resolutely looks at the bartender, paying for the drinks and giving him a significant look.

"Eyes forward, it's going to be a long night." He pulls his collar up to block his peripheral vision. His thumb and forefinger rub the bridge of his nose. "It should have worked. I swear, it should have worked. I had gold, I had ale...bloody dwarf." He takes a drink, hoping some had managed to escape while he distracted the Thonginator.