As we all know, dharma accommodates and very often encourages the spiritual weirdos. As one myself, I don't have to look too far. As a wer-lobster and Buddha-troll, I attempt to blend in and be human, humane and a functioning addition to goodwill, good society and normality. The people that impress me the most as Buddhists, are those engaged in life and practicing. Sheltered homing for the terminally sanguine and completely sangha are alway fun to visit but I prefer many of the emerging tradition independent activities and centres.

lobster wrote:As we all know, dharma accommodates and very often encourages the spiritual weirdos. As one myself, I don't have to look too far. As a wer-lobster and Buddha-troll, I attempt to blend in and be human, humane and a functioning addition to goodwill, good society and normality. The people that impress me the most as Buddhists, are those engaged in life and practicing. Sheltered homing for the terminally sanguine and completely sangha are alway fun to visit but I prefer many of the emerging tradition independent activities and centres.

Is there a cure?

No cure, sorry, some of us are dharma goats, others are moon cats, and you are a were-lobster. You cannot be humane, but you can be crustaceane. It should be possible to manipulate a mala with them claws after some practice. Prostrations will be easy for you, being permanently prostrated and all. so practice diligently, avoid seafood restaurants and you'll be just fine.

'Spiritual weirdo' is redundant since it is spirituality which gives us the license to be weird without being diagnosed as schizophrenic and/or criminally insane. Think about it: What would you think if your daughter suddenly shaved her head, ate only one meal a day, and sat on her bed staring at the wall for hours on end. A psychologist might interpret it is some sort of psychotic breakdown unless she explained that she had converted to Buddhism -- then it would suddenly be OK, even commendable behavior!

The trick to choosing a religion is to first identify your own strange ideas and habits and then find a belief system that will accomodate them.

Are you passive-aggressive? Overly sensitive of other's behavior toward you while completely insensitive to the needs of others? A psychologist might lable that borderline personality disorder but try calling yourself a Christian.

Do you plan on forming a harem of underage concubines? Some would consider this perverted, perhaps even a sign of megalomania, but not if you are Fundamentalist Mormon.

Do you hate to shave your facial hair but are afraid no one will hire someone with a long, unkept beard? Just convert to Islam and you can sue them for religious discrimination!

As long as you claim that you are only practicing your faith, people will be afraid to say anything and will leave you alone to do your own thing.

Taoism has worked wonderfully for me. If people call me apathetic I just reply that I have seen through the emptiness of materialism and the vanity of worldly ambitions to embrace a life of simplicity. I'm no longer a teetotaling virgin, but a highly advanced Taoism sage who has transcended the need for intoxicants and sex. I was also able to explain my interest in the paranormal and the occult (channeling, weather magic, astral projection, telepathy, yoga) as part of the Taoist magical tradition.

It also helps to familiarize yourself with foreign words. With Taoism I will use Chinese concepts like Wu-wei to justify simply not doing anything (I translate it as 'doing nothing well') and people become superstitiously impressed by how profound it all sounds. LOL. What suckers! Also, you can use the Taoist/Buddhist concept of nondualism to avoid yes or no questions and ultimatoms. Sometimes the best response to any question is "Mu!".

"The first thing you have to understand is that I don't believe in ANYTHING."-Arahata Osho

I always wondered why religion was so weird. Thank you for explaining that. So, which religion is the one for manic-depressive ailurophiles? Am I in the right place?

Hmm, I think neo-paganism is probably your best bet. You could say that the Cat is your totem animal or that it is an expression of your devotion to Bast, the cat-headed Eqyptian Goddess of the Nile. You are depressed because you were a cat in your former life and don't know why Bast would send you back to the earth plane to be born as a human.

"The first thing you have to understand is that I don't believe in ANYTHING."-Arahata Osho

I normally try to reach out to people that I think have the most potential to say something strange. So if I see someone licking ashes from a dish in the park dressed up like a scruffy Zoltar the Fortune Teller, for example, there's a good chance I will become friends with that person soon.

I am, in fact, friends with the person I've just described, and he told me after we spent some time together that I used to be one of the ashy fellows from the picture above.

Okay, that sounds reasonable, I said, but I don't remember it.

Well then, he said, you probably don't remember getting trapped in an android's body for fourteen hundred years either.