Main menu

Families with a Transgender Member

Our book has helped many families with a transgender family member learn and grow together recognizing everyone’s unique identity as a gift.

Terri and I share how our whole family transformed along with our son.

Along the way, real people (our Allies and Angels) saved us from tragedy and taught us love and compassion we might never have found.

Here are chapters 8 and 9 in their entirety.These chapters address that critical period as our family first changed. The webpages are big and may be a little slow to load. The PDF is faster, if you have a PDF reader.

One night Drew came to me frightened, desperate, broken. It was a look that was all too familiar to me. A look that I knew would require my full attention and support. He needed his mom, he needed to be heard, and he needed to trust that I would know what to do. He said six powerful words: “I need to be someplace safe.”

Midway through tenth grade, Drew had begun living at home and at the Q Center as a male. He was back to wearing men’s clothing and got his hair cut short. We were using male pronouns and his preferred name “Drew” instead of his birth name. Although he wasn’t out as a male to anyone outside our family or the Q Center, he could feel things already starting to turn around and get better.

He felt ready to share his identity with others.

Others, however, were not as accepting and understanding. Life started to feel overwhelming again. More…

Drew had been patient with therapy, testing medications for depression and anxiety, and allowing us, as his parents, to help him. When Drew began to seriously consider and ultimately accepted that he is transgender, Vince and I owed it to him to educate ourselves on what being transgender means.

It wasn’t easy, though. We had the same limiting beliefs many people have, who have never heard of or met a transgender person. More…