Oz has a great but very simply philosophy - that everybody had a heart, that everybody had a brain, that everybody had courage. These were the gifts that were given to people on this earth, and if you used them properly, you reached the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And that pot of gold was a home. And a home isn't just a house or an abode..., Its people. People who love you and that you love. That's home. - Ray Bolger aka the Scarecrow

Pages

Thursday, December 26, 2013

My Life in Words, Part Four: She went home to her family

There was an ugly side to my birth
as well. I have to believe that my
mother wanted to grow up and be the mature wife and mother that she was on
paper. So there was some form of
reconciliation with my father. It seemed
obvious that he was as anxious to be a father has he had been to be a
husband. But again, there is something
about a beautiful baby that makes everyone want to take some credit. I was told that he took me to his family to be
shown around. I, of course, remember
none of that. To this day, I know none of my paternal history, with the
exception of some disjoined facts. My
father was a merchant marine, something
I learned as I read it on my birth certificate.
And my mother told me that his parents were named Hazel and John. He had a sister named Barbara and brothers
name Sam and “Donkey”. I would assume
that would be some good beginnings if I were to choose to do some detecting or
ancestry tracking. But I haven’t chosen
to do that. I felt that I had enough
unresolved situations in my life to open another door that wouldn’t close
again.

"She went home to her family, who willingly welcomed her and her baby back with open arms. "

But as I said, my mother did
attempt a reconciliation. The couple who
really didn’t even know each other aside from carnally, rented a small
efficiency apartment and made a modest attempt at housekeeping. My father was a stranger to normalcy, or so
my mother felt. By that time, and he was
barely 18, he was a serious drinker. And
he moved in social circles who had nothing social about them. At one point, my mother told me that he was
carried home by two men because he was drunk and his hands had been cut up with
a razor. She had never experienced
anything that violent. While her family
had its share of disagreements, physical violence was not something familiar. Sadly, that was the only experience she
shared with me about their attempt at co-habiting. She went home to her family, who willingly
welcomed her and her baby back with open arms.

"a plan so devious"

Months after the failed attempt at
a marriage, the young alcoholic man showed up at my mother’s job in what seemed
like an attempt to woo her back to the marriage. He even had a gift – a very nice dress watch
which was far nicer than anything my mother had ever possessed. She accepted the gift and told the giver that
she would have to think about it and they would have to work at it slowly if
there was ever to be any true relationship.
That may have shot his plans in the foot. Before she had made any decision, a bill came
to her from a local department store. It
appeared that she had purchased a lovely dress watch for herself. It’s always amazing when someone is able to
work through an alcohol haze to formulate a plan so devious. But what he really did was end any attempt at
any type of relationship with either my mother or me. I understand from a relative who says her
husband related a visit that my grandfather made to my father’s favorite hang
out. My grandfather was crystal clear in
his direction that my father was to never under any circumstances contact my
mother or me. Especially me. I think a death threat was involved. Was it true?
I do not know. But I do know that
I never heard from my father again.
Unless you count a phantom phone call I received when I was in third
grade. But we’ll talk about that in due
time.

No comments:

About Me

"In the beginning it was fun. In the end, it was all for fun. And in between is where it tickles most." - Bernie DeKoven
...
Welcome to our blog;
Kyle and Janie,
Benjamin (Thirteen years old),
Ella (Eleven years old),
Maiya (Eight years old), Cora (Five years old), and PJ (two years old) and Nola Anne born at home September 21, 2012