Okay, so let’s say you’re single and not quite ready for the hyper-competitive environments of the bar and club scene. There are plenty of alternative places you can go to practice your social skills and find dates.

Before I get to that list, I do want to say that the fastest way to increase your social skill is to hit the bars and clubs and mix it up there. Make as many approaches as you can and bank the experience. You’re going to get blown out, but suck it up because it’s part of the learning process. With that being said, I can totally understand if the club environment is intimidating and discourages you from making approaches.

Potential dates are everywhere and if you’re creative you can find good alternatives to the club scene. Use some of the methods below to supplement your social life. One big advantage to picking up chicks outside of the clubs is that generally they’re less defensive about being approached. If you’re a chick, obviously guys won’t mind if you approach and talk to them.

1. College alumni clubs: Did you go to a big college somewhere? If the answer is yes and you live in a sizable town, it’s likely that there is an alumni group in your city. Join it and attend the meetings. Meetings are usually casual affairs, like happy hour on Friday night. I went to the University of Florida and there’s basically a Gator Club in every big city in the country. Contact your alumni relations office to get info or just do a Google search. At my college, they even have a Gator Singles group that you can join. The big advantage is that you always have something to talk about.

2. Social/athletic clubs: Most decent size cities have tons of social or athletic leagues. Again, it’s a cinch to join and the meetings are usually affairs over cocktails and convo. See this site for an example in my hometown. An athletic club, say a co-ed soccer league, are mostly dudes and non-hotties, but these folks will often go out for drinks afterwards. Here’s a tip: use your new group as social proof to open complete strangers. Oh yeah, two other benefits are fitness and networking.

I recently joined a sports club in Orlando and the social circle I’ve adopted there has turned out be AWESOME. The folks are attractive, work hard, play hard, and know how to have fun. It’s been one of the best moves I’ve made this year.

3. Industry Night at the Bars: Industry nights are nights when the bars and clubs cater to people who work in bars and clubs. They run drink specials specifically for those folks. These are usually on Sunday through Tuesday, basically the off days for those businesses. Consult a local nightlife guide to get the downlow. Hit them, because industry workers are partiers and know how to socialize. If you’ve got a real job and make any sort of decent money, you have automatic social value because you have a “real” job.

4. Concerts: I love concerts because there are HIGH concentrations of hotass chicks, even more so than a good Saturday night at the club. I went to a White Stripes show on a Tuesday night last year and I couldn’t believe how many amazing women were walking around. It was mindblowing. The cooler the band, the hotter the women. Go outside where the smokers are and start chatting. Go to the bar and open the first set to your left. Even during the show you can open chicks standing around. Tip: Don’t forget to hit the bars after the concert as many of these people will go out for drinks.

5. Sporting Events: They call Wrigley Field the World’s Biggest Singles Bar because people meet and hook up after taking in a Cubs game. No joke. Again, wander around, get a beer, chat people up. Have a smoke on the breezeway and open sets. Try a pro football, basketball, or hockey game. A big college football game is a friggin’ poon convention. If you’re rooting for the home team, you’ll always have something to talk about. Go hit the bars afterwards and open people wearing team gear.

6. Host a Party: I could write a whole post about social circle game (and there are good articles out there), but throwing a party is one of the best ways to meet new people both during and before the party. Tip: A week or two before the party, hit the bars, make small talk with strangers, and invite them to your party.

7. The Mall: This is a good one for aspiring pimps who are under the age of 21. Most of the chicks at malls are teenagers but you can often find a high end mall near a big city that has loads of well dressed HB’s wandering around. The Westshore Mall in Tampa is a place I’ve been to recently that had some crazy choocha flouncing around. I swear to God, I think beautiful women grow out of the walls there.

8. Coffee Shops: Some people swear by day game at a coffee shop but honestly I’ve never seen high concentrations of chicks at the Starbucks in my town. Maybe I’m not looking at the right ones. Anyways, I do know plenty of folks who go there to use the wireless and surf the ‘net, so try it.

BONUS (post-edit): Just thought of this, and it’s a bit untested, but trying hitting up restaurants and fast fooderies near large work locations. For example, I went to a Chipotle yesterday across the street from a hospital and there were TONS of chicks (hot nurses), and some of them were eating alone. This requires a bit of skill and some speed, but could be a goldmine. Try opening with a simple, “Hey, how is your day?” or “What school did you go to?” as if she’s a bit familar.

Those are some good alternatives to bars and clubs. Basically, all you need is a place where large concentrations of people go and a bit of creativity. If you live in a walking city like NYC or Boston, you can also try meeting people just by walking down the street. Have any good alternative locations to meeting people? Leave in comments…

Chipotle on Sunday.. always a great place to meet women. That and potbelly is my favorites.

You’re better than I expected Lance.. I might have a twin!

http://yankeeinnewworld.com NewWrldYankee

Good to know Orlando is hot bed of hot men/women, considering my family just moved there, and I’ve never been. Food for thought…mmm Chipotle. Now what do I do in this country, where English is scarce. Btw, I took your advice on the social circle thing, and just got more out there..totally works! Thx 4 that!

http://20-forty.com/ lisaq

“Most decent size cities…” *sigh* and therein lies the problem. I really have got to move!

PUA’s focus on bars and clubs not because you are more likely to meet someone you are great with their — though it is possible because it is who you meet, not how you meet — but exactly because you can do many approaches in a night, as many as you might otherwise in a month.

My personal favorite is to join a coed sports team. New friends, new network, often you go out before or after, and that gives you the chance to meet new people.

Of course the goal of all this is to develop as an individual and grow your social skills, which will lead to dates. The appropriate frame however, is to improve yourself as a social being. That lessens the anxiety. When I’ve been at coffee shops, sometimes I feel like I have to approach a hottie, and the end result is me not approaching, and then feeling like a pussy afterwards. Wrong frame. The right frame is to just be social.

You have to take things in stride too. I did get blown out at a concert the other night because my opening was weak, and I didn’t push through. It was awkward. Well, the lead singer of the opening band was standing adjacent so I immediately opened her. She wasn’t hot, but we had a great conversation, I felt better about myself, and she introduced me to some friends, so I wasn’t just standing by myself the rest of the night. If I go back next time they play that venue, I’ll have social proof. And for the awkward music lovers out there like me who often go to shows alone…chat up the other dudes who are there first.

Another thing I’d recommend is taking latin dance classes, often through those same sports-social organizations in big cities, or your local big universities rec department. Why? You see the same people every week, so that is plenty of opportunity to small talk, flirt, and network, but more importantly, you get to TOUCH GIRLS. Getting over that anxiety is a huge hurdle for someone hesitant and lacking confidence. For me, approaching is easy. Escalating is hard. It makes it a lot easier to escalate if you are already used to touching women non sexually.

http://www.angeleyesdevilsmile.com Brad

Can anyone say “Yoga”… lol

When I was out in LA with Wygant, there were a few “running” places that were PACKED with women running up and down the trails…

Go Gators! Aren’t you guys listed by Princeton Review as the Number One party school? Woohoo!

Love your list. Concerts kick ass, especially if it’s a band you like. Women love guys with passion, and if you can talk intelligently about the band or songs, you’re in there.

Your bit about using a new group as social proof to open complete strangers is good, too. Even if you don’t have a new group, just chatting someone up shows social skills. I met a woman through craigslist and we met at a coffee house and sat on the benches outside. She seemed a little nervous and ran in to use the bathroom, and I chatted up some new mom with a stroller. When my date came out, she was grinning ear to ear – she LOVED that I had taken an interest in the new baby and had the skill set to strike up a conversation. The date went great after that.

Gators are indeed ranked #1. I’m going to tell you something though, and this is heresy. I went to graduate school at Central Florida and in my experience the partying and the girls were WAY hotter. That’s what they do there. It’s felonious how hot the girls are and how hard they party. Felonious.

http://thedateabledork.typepad.com The Dateable Dork

This is good stuff, Lance. Meeting someone at bars/clubs has gotten so old and useless (unless you’re just looking to get laid), so finding alternate locations to meet quality people is such a necessity these days.

Here’s a question – how do you tell how old the person is before you start chatting? I’m mid 40s, and there’s nothing creepier for a 20-something girl than to have someone like me chatting them up and flirting. Am I wrong?

Sometimes I just want to walk up to a hottie and say “how old are you?” – and if she’s 30 or up, turn on my charm. But that’s even dorkier.

There’s alot of Gator love on this board. What happened in that Capital One Bowl? Go Blue!

Anyway, great list. The one thing that you highlighted that I like is joining new groups to expand your social circle for finding potential matches.

There is no better way to improve your social skills than a bar/club simply because you have so many people that you can practice your interaction skills with. The easiest place to find love, however, is joining groups that you actually are interested in.

Want to find an outdoors-ey girl? Join a group that goes camping. Want to find an artistic girl? Take some painting lessons. Basically the opportunities are endless if you know what you’re looking for.

Nick, thanks for stopping by! It’s been a hot minute. Gator love is the best love. SEC rules.

Dude, I went to the Capital One Bowl and I’ve got a crazy FR about that one. Perhaps I’ll post it next week…

http://yankeeinnewworld.com NewWrldYankee

I guess you actually never know how old a woman is, but speaking as a woman in her 20s… it’s ok to give a compliment to a woman of any age. As long as it’s polite and with respectable distance and not lecherous, I’d take any compliment well. (i.e. not looking down her shirt and saying “nice tits”..poor Honey – not that you would, of course) And if she is interested, she’ll comment right back. If not, she’ll just say thanks you. So it’s always worth a shot! Of course, all women are diff, so many might disagree with me.

http://dadshouseblog.com dadshouse

With respect to the “if you like to camp, join a club that goes camping” comment – I totally agree. And I’ve seen a flip side – I was on a cocktail date with a woman who seemed to like me. Thing is, she loves to backpack and I don’t. Turns out she backpacked all the time with REI (the outdoors store) and met tons of backpack-loving guys that way. So what gives? Why didn’t she hook up and date one of them? I started to wonder if she really knew what she wanted in a man. I mean, why is this backpack loving chick turning her back on backpacker guys for a cocktail with me? Chatting with her for an hour that night, she didn’t make much sense.