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Friday, January 15, 2010

Shyness is an irrational fear of speaking up and afraid of being humiliated or ignored. Well, I used to be one of them. I’ve been an inwardly directed person. I prefer to process the world internally, answer my own questions and come to a conclusion before speaking up. Why some people are afraid of speaking out? The main causes maybe are oversensitivity and insecurity. When you associate speaking out with pain and makes you embarrass then you’ll have to avoid speaking up. Unfortunately, shyness is an enormous detriment to success.

For naturally quiet people, the fear of speaking can arise from a few bad experiences, especially at an early age. When an adult reacts angrily or dismissively to an attempt at self expression, it’s natural to take it personally and shy away from future expression. Even if this only happens once or twice, people tend to exaggerate these incidents until they become mental monsters. A key to overcoming shyness is recognizing these perceived slights for what they are–meaningless. When someone reacts to you negatively, don’t take it personally.

It’s also essential to let go of bad experiences. When you dwell on a bad experience, it grows into something much more frightening than reality. Don’t do this to yourself! The more you think about a bad experience the more power you give it. Don’t blame yourself.Another important step in overcoming shyness is realizing that other people are basically the same as you. Everyone is insecure and afraid of embarrassment. Other people usually aren’t as smart as you think. If you have a question, chances are someone else is wondering about the same thing. Don’t let one or two bad experiences dictate your entire opinion of humanity.

The second cause of shyness is insecurity. If you don’t think you have anything valuable to contribute, what’s the point of risking embarrassment? To get over this you need to recognize the merit of your own thoughts and the value they present to others. To reach your potential, you need to share yourself with the world. Your brilliant insights don’t hold any value until they’ve enlightened someone else. Force yourself to speak up, especially when you don’t want to. Sit in the front of the room and make yourself visible. Understand that sharing your insights with people is doing them a favor. Once you get used to opening up, you’ll notice how positively people react. This will build your self confidence and faith in the goodwill of others.Overcoming shyness isn’t just something you should do for yourself; it’s also part of being a contributing member of society. When you have a thought or idea that deserves to be heard, you’re not only hurting yourself by keeping quiet, you’re hurting the people around you. Other people need you. They need your intelligence and insight. They need your help to work through problems. By hiding behind shyness, you limit the help you can give to your friends, family members, and colleagues.

Don’t keep your talent inside, share it when there's an opportunity so it can grow and flourish.Don't let shyness blocks your way to a successful life. That is why we need to develop to our kids to have self confidence so that they will not be experiencing shyness.