Tuesday, May 29, 2007

March For Adultery and Incest!

The following news report didn't happen. It is totally fictional. However, if you see very little difference (or none at all) between this made-up news story and events happening today, you understood the message.

Adultery and Incest Group Plans Jerusalem Marchby the A So-Created Mess

The alternative-lifestyle group CAIR (The Committee for Adulterous and Incestuous Relationships) said today that it wishes to hold a march in downtown Jerusalem, Judaism's holiest city, sometime in the summer. The police said that they will grant them a permit for the march.

CAIR plans on displaying its ideas with banners and floats promoting the ideas of adultery and incestuous relationships throughout the streets of Jerusalem. A spokesperson for the group, Mr. I. M. A. Mamzer, called on men, women and children to come and watch the celebration of pride in this way of life.

"The public should know that we exist, and that we are proud of who we are," he said. "We plan on recruiting new members, too", he added.

Another member of the group, Mrs. Debra Jackson-Johnson-Jones, who took the names of her 3 living "husbands", described her views. "I believe in Leviticus Chapters 18 and 20 as much as I believe in the Tooth Fairy," she says.

Religious groups are outraged at this public display of perverseness.

In a joint statement, Chief Rabbis Rabbi Shelomo Amar and Rabbi Yona Metzger, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu, and Rabbi Avraham Shapira signed a letter condemning this show of "public anti-Torah incitement", and called on the police to deny the permit for this at once.

CAIR responded to the letter by reiterating their purpose. "We just want to be accepted as an alternative lifestyle," Mamzer said.

Meanwhile, another group, CAB (The Committee for Advocating Bestiality), is planning their Jerusalem march to coincide with Yom Kippur.

Cosmic Clock:

About Me

Who is "yaak"?
I'm a half-Sepharadi, half-Ashkenazi, Haredi Zionist. I hope that clears it all up. :-)
I went to a Haredi elementary school, a mixed Haredi/modern high school, Haredi Yeshiva in Israel, and back to a mixed Yeshiva after that. I have a masters degree in computer science and Semicha.
BA"H Mash'ala, I'm married to a wonderful wife with 6 great children.
Hoping to meet each one of my readers in Yerushalayim when we are Olim LeRegel there very soon...