Bryan's Blog

Biker Extra for Gene Simmons Family Jewels

Me and about 50 other bikers showed up at Cook's Corner for what we believed to be a chance to meet Gene Simmons and an opportunity to be an extra on his TV show.

Got this message in my inbox last Wednesday: Motorcycle Extras Needed for Episode of A&E TV’s Gene Simmons Family Jewels.

I happened to be in Southern California conducting a bike test so the words Gene Simmons caught my attention. Like many of you out there, I grew up a KISS fan. Fire-blowing, blood-spitting, the lizard-tongued ‘Demon’ was larger-than-life growing up. So I’ve got this picture in my head of Gene riding in on a bike with some hangin’ apes, full KISS makeup and dragon boots, revving some burly straight pipes on a groovy ‘70s chopper. What I got was Gene’s squeeze Shannon Tweed and her bimbo blonde girlfriend doing a Thelma and Louise spoof. But let’s back up a minute.

The email was circulated to Big Dog Motorcycle owners in Southern California. The A&E Channel reportedly was filming a clip for its Gene Simmons Family Jewels program at Cook’s Corner, the popular biker joint on Santiago Canyon Road in Silverado, CA. Cook’s Corner is a stone’s throw from Motorcycle USA’s Irvine office and it sounded like a good story – Gene Simmons, bikers, TV cameras and the Cook’s Corner crowd, so I grabbed the camera and headed out Trabuco Canyon.

Along with the Big Dog Motorcycle owners that showed up, Boss Hoss must have circulated the same email because quite a few of the monster V-8 powered motorcycles were on hand. Then there were a variety of Harley-Davidsons, a handful of assorted cruisers, and even a vintage Ducati 851 Superbike. Seems like Gene has a lot of fans. I’ve got 40 minutes to spare before they’re supposed to arrive, so grab me a greasy burger hot off the Cook’s Corner grill.

We were expecting Gene but got Shannon Tweed, a former Playboy Playmate, instead. She's been hanging out with the KISS bassist for a long time.

It’s a half-hour past the time Gene and his crew was supposed to be filming and there’s no sign of them. Someone mumbles something about car troubles. The biker’s are a getting a little restless.

The Gene Simmons Family Jewels crew finally shows up almost an hour late. An old white convertible muscle car with two giddy blondes pulls up with a hodgepodge of show producers, film and sound crew, but no Gene. I smell a ruse.

Immediately the film crew pans out and starts planning shot angles and camera placements while the “stars” grabbed a table away from the crowd and talked shop with the producers. Little acknowledgement of the crowd assembled on their behalf is made. Everyone’s wondering where Gene is.

It turns out they’re filming a take on Thelma and Louise using Gene’s girlfriend Shannon and her best friend. The girls are self-absorbed and stand-offish. For a show that’s supposedly Reality TV, there was little reality to it. They had a bit actor put on a black rally t-shirt with the words, “If you can read this, the bitch fell off” printed on the back. A collective groan went through the crowd. Just what we need, more narrow-minded typecasting and stereotyping. The novelty of being a biker extra for a TV show was quickly wearing off. In the first scene they were shooting, Shannon and her friend pull up to Cook’s in between the rows of bikes, get out, and go inside the bar. As they pull up, I click off a few pics, trying to salvage a story, and plenty of the other people are clicking off photos as well.

“No more taking pictures when we’re shooting. We want everyone to look natural.”

Now the TV crew is telling a bunch of bikers who have thus far been treated rudely what not to do. Their welcome at Cook’s Corner is wearing thin. The white convertible has most of us blocked in, so we wait for them to finish shooting the scene. The acting got worse. They continued with a scene of a broken down car, two biker boys coming to the rescue and the girls riding off on the back of two bikes. The cheese was getting thick.

As soon as that car got moved, a large group of us immediately fired up our bikes. I had already been there an hour more than I wanted, Gene Simmons never showed up, the TV crew was rude and the girls were haughty. As I revved the Victory Cross Country’s engine to ride away, one of the young girls of the production crew comes over and says “Can you stay just five more minutes; we’re not done shooting yet?”

I let the rumble of the pipes as I pull out voice my opinion.

The coolest part of the whole day was checking out the variety of bikes that had shown up at Cook's Corner like this Ducati 851
Superbike and talking to the collection of motorcyclists that were on hand. Cook's Corner is popular biker hangout in SoCal. The Gene
Simmon's Family Jewels crew was on hand filming a Thelma and Louise spoof for an upcoming episode.

Ratava
-Watching Simmons now
December 10, 2010 05:44 AM
Yes, "Family Jewels" is obviously fake, but I don't think Simmons cares. One thing you learn by watching the show is that he loves making money and as long as people are obviously watching, the show will run and he will make money.

tommy boy s la
-cap t topp
October 22, 2010 11:51 AM
hay nick please grow the fu up do something for yourself mommys boy try and be real even if it hurts a little 5 yrs older then you and watching you grow is puss come on just do it!

TS
-IS fake
October 13, 2010 12:09 PM
Like the episode where Nicks bands equipment gets stolen. If you notice they pull up in a van and hit a pole...that van has a sliding side door. When they wake up to the "stolen equipment"..there is no scratch and the van door is a double swing open style with nontitnted windows in the rear. Then as they are on their way to get new instruments, they are back in the sliding door van with tinted rear windows. If your show isnt entertaining enough without that crap...you dont need a show.

Lickmychicken
-Thank you TommyKnockerz
September 21, 2010 01:32 AM
Oh my God, I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that whole episode. I've never been pepper sprayed or tasered before but I know you're not ok after 10 seconds, like that lady was. And wouldn't the producers have stepped in if she really were injured? I thought the show was semi-real until I watched that episode and then I just lost all respect for the show. And who just leaves their doggie door open all night long? I know I USED too, but my broke ass was living in a run down shack with no electricity, not a million dollar mansion. And that whole part with Nick - who just wears someone else's worn dirty ass swimming trunks? Especially someone you don't know and think they would be cool with it? Notice how they boyfriend never showed up? Thanks again TommyKnockerz and everyone else. I'm glad I'm not the only one who notices how fake reality TV seems to be.

TommyKnockerz
-I watched BS on the show too
September 20, 2010 06:52 AM
I haven't been a big Gene Simmons Family Jewels fan but I have watched a few episodes when nothing else is on. I just watched one with Gene's non-wife getting a bunch of other 'hens' together for a self defense type of get together. They were selling pepper spray and tazers. They invited Sophie's boyfriend's mother over and they 'accidentally' shot her in the face with pepper spray. I've been sprayed with pepper spray.....long story. I'm a long haired, tattood, old school, bar brawling biker....nuf said. Anyway, this lady didn't have a bit of redness on her face when it was over. They used shot glasses to rinse the pepper spray out, which doesn't work. No shot glass full of water is nearly enough to wash that crap out. Then when they left she was 'accidentally' shot with a tazer. While all this was going on, Nick was in San Diego on a 'play date' with one of Gene's business associates sons. They went to the beach but Nick didn't have any shorts so some girl offered her 'boyfriends' clothes. Nick just put on these used swimming shorts and then went surfing with this girl. They get back on the beach and suddenly the boyfriends friends want to beat up Nick. They leave. They go to a party and these boyfriends friends show up there. They leave again. This time they are followed by the 'friends' right to Nick's hotel where Gene just 'happens' to be in the lobby of the hotel with security and then the 'friends' get real 'scared' and are suddenly 'cool' with Nick. You notice all of my ('') in there???? That's when something was frickin' stupid and fake. The Osbourne's may have been a bunch of disfunctional morons but at least it was nowhere near as fake as this crap. Gene should really stick to make up, fire, blood and rock 'n roll. This is making him look like a fool.

Shimaine
-Bad Luck
December 18, 2009 06:30 PM
Word for Word.....Thats exactly what I would have thought of the whole ordeal if were there too.....It is CELEB reality....not REAL reality...They sound like they all need a Check Up from the Neck Up!
KISS was here in NZ for a 2 day concert thing that was on....they were 1 of like 6 bands....Ozzy, Alice Cooper,Poison,Lordi,Kiss...Word had it that if the EXPENSIVE seats did not sell out KISS would not go on!....WTF?...I wish that greedy bastard BALL CANCER! Get real!
Great Article......enjoyed reading it!...Rock Onnn!!

Joe Hoskinson
-Great story
December 3, 2009 04:21 PM
I thought this was a very well written story

Biker fart
-I agree with txKiss
December 2, 2009 09:10 AM
For a guy who is a KISS fan you are a dullard. KISS Online would have been a first stop for you so you could see he is on tour. It's not reality dickcheese. It's CELEB reality. You suckered yourself into thinking what you wanted. Hope you got diareah from the boss hog burger. Your article sucks.

Greg
-DAAAAAAAA
December 2, 2009 06:18 AM
THERE BOTH ABOUT AS SHARP AS A MARBLE...

Beetle Bailey
-ree
November 30, 2009 07:54 AM
Gimmick is right and you fell for it...LOL

ree
-So what!!!!
November 29, 2009 03:18 PM
Yeah! their stars....Came up with a great gimmick and ran with it.I don't think that anyone gave them a ticket to stardom.Jealous? There are people out there in the world that try to better themselves and succeed.(DON"T HATE)

Beetle Bailey
-Cooks Corner shoot.....
November 29, 2009 08:56 AM
As I have seen many times in the past, movie people just have to be better than the rest. That is what has been spoon fed to them, so why would they think any different. I might not have been as nice wanting to leave when I wanted to and would have made a scene. But then again I wouldn't have waited for them to arrive at all. To all you KISS fan's that have responded, get off your high horse, until some of these "people" get a clue about reality, I won't be fan.... I would like for just once see these "stars" help someone in need. We have plenty of homeless and hungry people here in the US, why can't you fans help out in a homeless center? Get your rock star to show up for that.....
Sorry rant over.....

lou
-gene simmons
November 28, 2009 04:33 PM
why would you want to meet gene simmmons anyway, all he would do is talk about himself and how great he is and how much money he has!!!

TxKISSfan
-Biker's experience with Simmons / Tweed film crew
November 27, 2009 06:11 PM
You can blame yourself for people thinking bkers' are rude. Did they tell you that Gene was going to be there? Probably not due to the fact that KISS is on tour so it'll be kinda hard for him to be in several places at once. Also, Ms Tweed is NOT his "squeeze", she's his girlfriend of over 20 years. Unfortunately, due to your poor photography, it's kinda hard to tell but I'm pretty sure that the "blonde bimbo friend" you are referring to is really Ms Tweed's sister Tracey; she's not a bimbo. And the female crew member who asked you if you could stay, why didn't you politely decline instead of acting like a kid who didn't get his way and take off on your bike. YOU are the one being rude. I KNOW not all bikers are not like that. Why don't you go and find some REAL BIKERS,(TEXAS has alot of good ones), hang around with them and learn some manners in being mature, polite and great folks to associate with.

Jim
-What
November 26, 2009 03:19 AM
Da what did you think,they were going to ask one of the group to have fries off their plate. Why wast your time with the Hollywood types that can't wait to have their friends pass a law to make you wear a set-belt when you ride! That is the kind of ride you take your girl to so you can get that new six speed; without, all the crying, we are in a recession and two months behind on the rent. Da!

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