The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship

The Miz’s short-lived stint with relevancy came to an end just one week later thanks to Dolph Ziggler. Nothing perfectly sums up a “Smackdown brand PPV” like Miz and Ziggler having a long match.

Interest Level: 0/10Prediction: The Miz wins.

Tim:

The Miz has had a wild month. Too bad it ended here.

Interest Level: 0/10Prediction: Miz wins.

Tom:

No thanks!

Interest Level: I’m okay!/10Prediction: Take care!

The Usos vs. The Hype Brothers

Joey:

The Hype Brothers are the fucking worst. Mojo Rawley stinks. Zack Ryder is not good. The heel Usos are taking this one. Hopefully they do very mean things to the Hype Brothers.

Interest Level: 0/10Prediction: The Usos win.

Tim:

I like that the colors of our names here match up with what show each of us would be. Joey is the Raw of this site. He’s the A show and always worth a look. I’m blue like Smackdown. Pretty solid but usually forgettable. Tom is green like, uh, Saturday Morning Slam. He’s just a joke and for the kids.

Oh, the match? The Usos should win.

Interest Level: 0/10Prediction: The Usos win.

Tom:

I wonder if Zack Ryder genuinely hates Mojo Rawley. Like, it seems pretty clear that there’s a good amount of resentment, but I wonder if it’s genuine, actual hate. That should be their storyline, Mojo just bouncing around like an affable goon and Zack fuming and trying to plot his demise.

Interest Level: 3/10Prediction: The Usos win.

Heath Slater and Rhyno vs. Winner of Usos/Hype Brothers for the Smackdown Tag Team Championship

Joey:

I enjoy the charm of the Heath Slater bit but the tag titles already look silly here. The comedy jobber and an old ECW dude are in the finals of a title tournament. Wow.

I think WWE is going all in with the heel Usos and they’re taking the titles here. Ending Heath Slater’s dreams would get some of the good ol’ “heel heat.” Chad Gable and Jason Jordan chasing the Usos is the best story as well. Heel Usos winning is the best scenario by far.

Interest Level: 5/10Prediction: The Usos win.

Tim:

Heath Slater continues to ruin everything. He’s managed to make himself the flavor of the month a few times now so that’s something. While I will admit he and Rhyno have been a little more funny than most things in WWE tend to be these types of gimmicks don’t last unless you are a next-level talent. The fans that latch on to this type of thing are the same that latched on to Otunga and his container of coffee for a few months and then moved on. The Usos are pretty bland but can be a little livelier as heels. They’ll win and then lose to the best tag team on Smackdown, American Alpha, eventually. American Alpha winning the titles here would’ve been awesome for both the team and these new belts.

Interest Level: 3/10Prediction: The Usos win.

Tom:

This is kind of a bummer, right? I love a good wacky team but it’s a shame the first Smackdown tag title match is sort of jokey. This would have been a fun arrival for American Alpha

Re: Heath Slater – when we saw his kids, some of them were clearly in their late teens. Heath’s only, like, 33, so has he been having kids with his wife since he was 15? Is that part of the joke? I guess so.

Interest Level: 6/10Prediction: The Usos win.

Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt

Joey:

Bray Wyatt and his gross white dude dreadlocks can go to hell.

Interest Level: 0/10Prediction: Randy Orton wins.

Tim:

I have enjoyed Randy Orton since his return but the Brock match didn’t do him any favors and being in a feud with Bray Wyatt never helps anyone. This is all I’m writing for this. Not because I’m lazy or because I think you don’t deserve more content but because this is Smackdown and it is an hour shorter than Raw.

Interest Level: 0/10Prediction: Rand E. Orton wins.

Tom:

Have we seen this match before? We must have, right? I always pause for a second before writing predictions for a Bray Wyatt match. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed any of his singles matches (outside a couple with Daniel Bryan, which don’t count), but I really wish I did. He doesn’t seem like a bad guy and the character has potential, but nothing ever happens in any way that’s worth paying attention to, in terms of either his performance or storyline.

The best thing about Smackdown has been the women’s division. It’s amazing to realize considering Raw has Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Bayley. Becky Lynch may be the best overall performer on Smackdown right now. Becky’s in-ring work is amazing and her charm puts her character at the top of the most likable wrestlers on the roster.

Carmella is so much better as a heel. The return of Nikki Bella made you realize just how much she was missed. Naomi’s new identity has finally put her in a position to succeed as a singles star. Alexa Bliss is always awesome. Natalya is strange but consistent. Hooray, everyone!

I love the elimination aspect here. I can honestly see anyone getting the victory and that is tremendous for a six-person match. The pick will be Becky Lynch. She’s just so good right now that the title would be instantly credible.

Interest Level: 10/10Prediction: Becky Lynch wins.

Tim:

This is the GOOD STUFF. The Smackdown Women’s division is full of great characters and Natalya. Carmella beating up Nikki Bella has been absolute hype. Naomi’s entrance and kicks are absolute hype. Everything about Alexa Bliss is absolute hype. Becky Lynch is THE absolute hype. I think Becky Lynch is finally going to get a strap.

Interest Level: 10/10Prediction: Becky Lynch

Tom:

I am very much in love with almost everyone in this match, and I am especially keen on the fact that they are all distinct personalities. I like the Raw ladies (for the most part), but Smackdown just feels like it has so much more potential for interesting women’s feuds.

Becky Lynch is probably the most deserving of the title because she’s been such a stand-out for the longest time, though I have a weird feeling that maybe Nattie will win to continue the story of Becky’s bad luck, and also because fuck me and fuck you. I don’t think Nattie’s terrible, just very weird and off-putting a lot of the time!

Interest Level: 9/10Prediction: Natalya wins.

Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles for the WWE World Championship

Joey:

Dean Ambrose has painfully boring matches in big match situations. AJ Styles has tremendous matches when it matters most. Something has to give in the first brand split PPV main event. The old dreadful brand split PPV days would have had Ambrose retain via a controversial finish or fluke win before Styles won it the next time. Here’s to hoping they don’t screw it up again. I’m going with AJ saving us from the dire days of Deanpool.

Interest Level: 7/10Prediction: AJ Styles wins.

Tim:

It would be a personal slap in the face to all of the fans of the blue brand to make us go through another month of Ambrose as champion. AJ Styles is fresh off the heels of a clean victory over John Cena at Summerslam. He wore a headband once and it changed everything about him. He should bring that back. The time is now for AJ Styles to win the title, make it blue (preferably a blue that matches all of your gear unlike that one pair of tights you have where the blues don’t match because you’re a mad man or something), and bring back the headband look. I’m super interested in seeing how the quality of this match turns out. Will Dean Ambrose be cemented as the worst or will AJ Styles be cemented as the best?

Man, I dunno. I usually like AJ’s matches a lot and I think Ambrose has shown flashes of being interesting lately, but his overall output still does very little for me. I think this match should be good, but still on the lower end of AJ’s WWE run. Also, I don’t think he’ll be winning this time. Maybe next month, kid!