How to Share Your Life {Launch Week Giveaway #4}

I knew I wanted to marry John on our first date. How? Even more than my physical attraction {he was cute}, I was impressed by our conversation. John told me about his growing up years, his time in the Marine Corp, and his hopes for the future. I knew he was someone I could share a life with.

Do you share your life joyfully with your spouse?

Here are 7 ways you can…

Share memories: Memories give us a glimpse into each other’s past. I understand my husband better because of the memories he shares. He understands me better, too.

Share dreams: Ask your spouse, “If you could do anything what would it be?” The answer may surprise you. Allow your spouse to dream without thinking about logistics and cost. Pray about how to make those dreams possible … or other similar {smaller} dreams.

Share pet-peeves: My husband is bothered by sticky fingers and toys cluttering the living room. And he overlooks a lot of things that drive me crazy. A lot of little annoyances can be avoided if you realize that pet-peeves may not be big issues, but they do matter.

Share laughs: Laughter can help couples face hard situations with grace. Recently we added two new children to our home (adopting from the foster care system), and sometimes we were so overwhelmed that all we could do was laugh! Laughter helped us overcome a lot of battles together.

Share prayers: A dozen years ago John and I started praying together in the morning. Those prayers mean so much to me. When I hear my husband’s whispered prayers I face the day with confidence.

Share a mission: Last week I interviewed Gary Thomas concerning his new book The Sacred Search. This is what he had to say about a shared mission:

“The old cliché is all too true: a good marriage is the closest two people will ever come to heaven this side of eternity; a bad marriage is the closest two people in an affluent society will ever come to hell.

“Such problems usually erupt from trying to build a life together without purpose, without mission, without something that not only establishes a connection but keeps you caring about each other for the next fifty to sixty years.” Gary Thomas

What is your mission as a couple?

Come up with 3-4 words that answer this statement: “This is what we’re about …”

John and I focus on service, evangelism, hospitality, and making memories. This is who “we” are, and our life and choices reflect that. I’m thankful that I have this man to share my life with.

Share this:

Tricia Goyer is a CBA best-selling author of 33 novels and the winner of two American Christian Fiction Writers’ Book of the Year Awards (Night Song and Dawn of a Thousand Nights). She co-wrote 3:16 Teen Edition with Max Lucado and contributed to the Women of Faith Study Bible. Tricia is the host of a weekly radio show, Living Inspired. Also, a noted marriage and parenting writer, she lives with her husband and children in Arkansas. You can join her atTriciaGoyer.com, on Facebook and Twitter.

Oh, I know! I used to get so frustrated with “spilled milk.” When I feel the frustration building I try to picture my family 5 years in the future, and I ask … “What will really matter?” Thank you so much for being real! I relate!

Cassie, so many of grew up in challenging homes. I’m there with you! I hope you win a copy of Lead Your Family Like Jesus because it’ll help you find direction … which is so much easier than winging it. Hugs to you!

My husband and I had a goal – but we are in a season of feeling like that goal is failing. It seems like as soon as you set a goal to live for and serve God with your lives the enemy jumps right it to make it super difficult!

We strive to “go lower” in serving our family…we try not to gloss over issues, but spend a lot of time in discussion, sometimes tears, forgiveness, prayer and service to others outside our home as well as practicing hospitality as a family bringing others in- the precious Holy Spirit is the empowerment of it all!!

My biggest challenge is my temper. I feel like I am so short tempered with my children, and even though it’s something I feel like I am constantly working at, I try to always humbly apologize to my kids when I behave poorly. I wish it wasn’t a struggle.

My biggest challenge right now is that my husband is not turning his life over to God and struggling with anger/rage management. Instead of being the family’s spiritual leader he is increasingly following the ways of the world.

* A major challenge of leading my family like Jesus is “society” the way it is today. We have to continually guide ourselves and even more importantly our children. Society is going against anything like Jesus. We as adults know right from wrong and we were brought up in a different society, but our children are being brought up in a very corrupt society. So, we are always continuously working so very hard to lead our kids like Jesus.
* Another major challenge is remembering “our purpose” of being here. Not getting misguided by people, things, and life in general.

My biggest challenge right now is patience because I have been out of work since

Oct, 2012 due to health issues. I suffer from Chronic Daily Basilar Artery Migraines with Vertigo and Aura, which has caused me to not be able to drive since May of 2012. I have to stay in a dark, quiet house most days, which is definitely hard on my family, but it has really taken its toll on me as well. I get short with them sometimes when they get loud, forgetting that I have a bad migraine.

Love the idea about making a mission statement with your spouse that
can be summed up in 3 words… Also, I’d say our biggest challenge to leading our family like Jesus is plain selfishness, and especially for me, rebellion against his word to be content as my husbands help meet.

We agreed to look at situations from the outside and find the humor in
it. We laugh a lot. We also agreed that although we would never
willingly hurt the other, we know we are human and it will happen. When
it does we ask the other to forget it ever happened. That is to us the meaning of forgiveness and justification (love keeps no record of wrongs)…it goes on treating you just as though the cruel gaffe never happened.

I love this. That quote from Gary Thomas is fabulous and I love how you shared what makes you and your husband who you are together. I think one of the challenges is being set apart from the world and protecting marriage/family from a culture that doesn’t value them while still serving this world.

The biggest struggle I have is my own sinful nature. Pride, irritation, lack of self-control/laziness, etc. Also I think it’s so, SO hard to try to lead children to Jesus when they’re bombarded with everything “self” outside of our home. However, we aren’t doing our children any favors by sheltering them from everything completely because they all eventually grow up.

I love this! I’m “sharing” this wonderful post all over. I love these tips. It’s great to get reminded about mindfully taking steps to truly share in the important things in life amidst all the hub-bub of our digital lives. Thank you for this sweet guide about sharing.

My biggest challenge is more grace and fun with our kids. I tend to be more strict and not as patient or gracious with them. Jesus captivated people’s hearts by his thought provoking questions and stories and his compassion. My husband has more grace with our kids than I do. We want to reach our kids’ hearts and help nurture our family to have a passionate relationship with God in our home.

Great post, Tricia. I knew the first day I met my husband, too, that he was somebody I wanted to spend my life with. We’ve been sharing all seven of the things you list for over 26 years now, and it just gets better and better! Thanks for sharing your wisdom and encouragement. I love this new site!

Welcome!

Hi, we are Patrick and Ruth Schwenk, the creators of For the Family. We are so glad you are here! Our mission is to encourage and equip families to build God-honoring homes for the glory of God and the good of the world. Read more about us at "Meet Patrick and Ruth" and our amazing team of writers at "Meet the Contributors."