Saturday, March 31, 2007

I eat breakfast on Saturdays with a bunch of guys, and then we attend Torah Study after breakfast. One year, we were all commenting on how our wives were extremely busy as they prepared for the Seder meal. We thought it was ironic that it took so long to prepare for a Seder meal -- which itself lasts for hours -- all to commemorate a meal eaten in haste.

We decided that if you wanted to be true to the spirit of the Flight from Egypt, you'd wait until the last minute before the start of Passover, hustle the family into the car, and stop at a drive-through fast food window, then drive out of town.

Friday, March 30, 2007

LA Times writer Joel Stein writes about his big chance to appear in a soft-core porn film.

excerpt:

Before I said yes, I told him I needed to ask my wife, Cassandra. Afraid of a fight, I wimpily text-messaged her. Less than a minute later, she wrote back: "Are you going to get naked and simulate sex? I'd like to see that."

I read this five times.

I couldn't figure out if it was a joke, or if she was turned on, or just didn't care. Was it, "I'd like to see that," as in "I'd like to see it over and over again when you're not home as a marital aid"? Or was it, "I'd like to see that," as in "I'd like to see that so I could show everyone your pathetic attempts at foreplay"?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Pesach Pot

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Marijuana is not kosher for Passover, a pro-cannabis advocacy group says, advising Jews who observe the week-long holiday's special dietary laws to take a break from smoking the weed.

The Green Leaf Party announced on Wednesday that products of the cannibis plant have been grouped by rabbis within a family of foods such as peas, beans and lentils that is off-limits to Jews of European descent during Passover.

The Green Leaf Party, which has made several unsuccessful attempts to win election to parliament on a platform urging marijuana's legalisation, said it was issuing its advisory as a service to Jews who don't want to break ritual law.

But it said the rabbinical ban for the holiday beginning at sunset on Monday, during which many Jews eat matzos, or unleavened bread, could be a blessing in disguise.

"Logic dictates that if the rabbis say cannabis is non-kosher for Passover, it is apparently kosher during the rest of the year," Michelle Levin, a spokeswoman for the party, told the YNet news web site.

About Me

If I'm ever on TV, it'll probably be on a local news broadcast. My name will appear at the bottom of the screen, and under that will be some terse comment. I wonder what it will say? Perhaps "Knew the Victim" ... or "Alleged Ringleader" ... "Lottery Winner" ... "Person of Interest"