Day: February 11, 2018

Let it be known that I did not want to make this highlight video. I really, really did not. The record will show that I resisted the creation of this highlight video until the very end. Then I was like, “he had 24 and 10”, so I made the video even though Spencer Dinwiddie went…

Shelvin “The Macksturbator” Mack just got a promotion. Since Elfrid Payton, the Magic’s erstwhile starting point guard, got traded for a jar of desert sand a few days ago, D.J. Augustin becomes the starter and Shelvin Mack becomes the backup. This means more minutes and more highlight videos for the Macksturbator going forward. Great! I…

How much would Danilo Gallinari have to pay somebody to just, like, live in house and travel with the team, and his one job would be to give Gallinari a proper shave every single morning? You could pay somebody like that minimum wage since they’d only have roughly ten minutes of work to do every…

DTB’S FUN FACT OF THE DAY: T.J. McConnell is shooting 51% on three-pointers this season (23 of 45). He’s currently first in the NBA in three-point percentage if you exclude players who have taken a trivial amount of three-pointers (say twenty or fewer). Next up is Tomas Satoransky, then T.J. Leaf, then Mirza Teletovic, then…

I don’t know exactly when Dwight “Dwight Power” Powell inched his field goal percentage above 60%, but he did it sometime recently and, with the reaching of that milestone, has entered the prestigious club of “NBA Players who Play Real Minutes and Shoot Over Sixty Percent From the Field” (the NBAPWPRMASOSPFTF club for short). The…

To my untrained eye, it appeared that Brandon Ingram was actually, really, truly acting as the point guard for large stretches of this game. Whether he did more in that role than bringing the ball up the court and initiating the offense, I couldn’t tell you because I’m not about to waste valuable highlight-making time…

The trade deadline has passed and Julius Randle’s lumpy face is still on the Lakers. And now, with Larry Nance Jr. sitting in Cleveland crying tears of pure joy, there’s very little competition for power forward minutes. This is the perfect opportunity for Randle to play himself into a big contract; I mean, even if…

Every time I use the word “fight” in the title of a video, I get a little uneasy, for several reasons. First reason is, advertising that the video contains a “fight” (usually just a scuffle or exchange of words) feels like clickbait. I’m not Buzzfeed here. Second reason is, I know that the NBA really…

Kyle Anderson went on a stat-stuffing expedition in this one, recording a final statline of 20/6/5/3/2. He got at least two in each of the five main statistical categories. You know what that means! A scrub-by-five! Way to go Kyle! Your certificate is in the mail, but it actually isn’t because I can afford neither…

As of yesterday night, Kyle Collinsworth officially has a new entry to put on his resume: “-Assisted a Dirk Nowitzki dunk. Nowitzki was 39 years old at the time of the dunk.” You know you threw a good pass when Dirk, who barely dunks anything anymore because he can barely dunk, has no choice but…