PETER LUCAS: Presidential campaigns are going, going, gonzo

Well, this is gonzo politics. It is a gonzo presidential campaign between two gonzo candidates, covered by a gonzo media in a gonzo country that is waiting for the end.

What did we ever do to deserve this?

The original essence of gonzo, or gonzo journalism, is to throw all facts and objectivity aside, take everything you know about government, politics or a political campaign, twist it into something fantastic, like a surreal novel, and then make yourself the hero.

President Barack Obama is a master of gonzo. Example: He says the U.S. does not pay ransom for hostages, but he secretly pays Iranian terrorists $400 million in ransom money to free four U.S. hostages. But it's a settlement, not ransom. And it's all in laundered cash. That's gonzo.

Example: Debbie Wasserman Schultz, chairman of the Democrat National Committee, and three other three other high-ranking party officials are fired over the hacked emails denigrating Bernie Sanders, but according to Democrats, it is the Republican Party that is in disarray. That's gonzo, too.

The most famous of gonzo journalists was the late Hunter S. Thompson who, in covering the 1972 campaign for president for Rolling Stone magazine, veered off the campaign trail to write about his strange, fantastic drug- and alcohol-fueled journey through campaign America.

The candidates were President Richard Nixon and U.S. Sen. George McGovern.

Advertisement

Nixon may not have been gonzo, but he was a bit weird, which led Thompson to observe, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." And he was a pro.

The stories he wrote led to fame and the publication of his classic "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '72." But then he later killed himself by shooting himself in the head in 2005. That is gonzo to the max.

Thompson back then thought presidential campaign politics were so bad that he wrote: "Jesus, where will it end? How low do you have to stoop in this country to become president?"

Well, Hunter, as they say, "You ain't seen nothin' yet."

It is 2016, and we have hit rock bottom.

Some people think we could use a Thompson-like reporter to cover this strange and classless campaign for president. But this campaign is so bizarre that even Thompson could not do it justice.

But we don't make Hunter Thompsons anymore. Today, Thompson would be behind bars, having been jailed for gross political incorrectness, and begging Obama for one of his drug pardons.

How gonzo is this presidential campaign? It is so gonzo that voters are being asked to choose between a lunatic and a liar. And that is just for openers.

He calls her a devil and she calls him a maniac. Years ago, these insults would have led to a duel, like the one between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr.

But these are gentler times, although you would not know it, judging by the language between the two. Perhaps if they did duel, they would use drones at 20 paces rather than pistols.

These people are so bad that they would have astounded Hunter Thompson; they are so far out that they have outgonzoed gonzo journalism.

The battle between Loony Lunatic and Lucifer (Lucy) Liar is so bad that it is like the Iran/Iraq war of the 1980s when most of the civilized world prayed for a way both sides could lose.

On one hand you have Lucy Liar insulting your intelligence with lies heaped on top of lies over subjects ranging from Benghazi to missing emails.

She is so bad that she lies even when she does not have to, which conjures up Sir Walter Scott's fitting line. "O, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive."

On the other hand, you have Loony Lunatic hurling insults at Gold Star mothers, Muslims, Mexicans, illegal immigrants and "the worst president" in U.S. history.

Obama, who has reduced the bully pulpit of the presidency to a pedestrian political soapbox, says Lunatic is not fit to be president. Lunatic fires back that the former community organizer is unfit as well, and so is Lunatic's "rotten" opponent, Lucy Liar.

Lucy Liar merely lies and smiles, humming "God Save the Queen."

It is the most dismal campaign for president in modern history -- and the worst is yet to come. There are still three television debates coming, each one worse than the other.

What this country truly needs, but does not have, is someone to save us from ourselves.

Welcome to Gonzo America.

Peter Lucas' political column appears Tuesday and Friday. Email him at luke1825@aol.com.

Welcome to your discussion forum: Sign in with a Disqus account or your social networking account for your comment to be posted immediately, provided it meets the guidelines. (READ HOW.)
Comments made here are the sole responsibility of the person posting them; these comments do not reflect the opinion of The Sun. So keep it civil.