I had big dreams for summer break! Four days in, I am spent. My work from home job was going to allow this beautiful synchronous parenting/working situation. I dreamt of waking up slowing with my kids, eating breakfast and welcoming a few hours of quiet and play while I worked with the help of an in-home “assistant” (read underpaid high school student). We would have lunch time walks to the park, sit down meals and shared reading and writing activities. I figured that a little help from friends/sitters/day camps would fill in the gaps when meetings called……Monday played out just as in my fantasy. It was truly lovely.

THEN CAME TUESDAY.

Ipad limits were reached by 8:00 am because the girls got up too early. We were out of my youngest’s favorite yogurt which initiated a one-hour meltdown. Clothes needed to be washed, dishes to be done, the dog walked….and, oh, yes, I had a job to attend to as well. Bad attitudes abounded, and “mean mommy” (see previous post) came out. It was not a good day…Wednesday was not much better.

The reality is, there are going to be way more bad days than good days. My role as a parent is not to create perfect days, it is not to be the vision of Instagram-worthy shares or to feel disappointment when my plans don’t unfold according to my dreams. My calling (or vocation for my Lutheran friends) is to guide my children through the opposite, the meltdowns and frustrations, the tired cries and sibling arguments, the boredom and the unstructured dichotomy of the summer schedule.

I fail forward, I apologize for my yelling, rushing and frustration and a look at my children in the eyes and say “today was hard, tomorrow might be too, but you and I are on a team together to walk through even the hardest day”, and to celebrate the surprising Mondays that come, when they do.

EVERY DAY IS NOT A TUESDAY (or WEDS)

Special thanks to my friend for providing a mojito to go on Wednesday evening.