The vicissitudes of life are such. The grass is always greener on the other side. It is lame and such a cliche to avoid than say that the grass is greener on the other side. For the longest time I yearned for what I have now – a satisfying job with a promise of a bright career. In other words, stability. The job that would have me not think about what I am to do in the next year. The job that would keep me occupied. I am cognizant of how much of a better position I am in than many others. Yet, life now seems mundane. A programmed life with full knowledge of what the next day and all the days thereafter is to give.

The pursuit of happiness, I realize, is in the struggle to achieve all that is hard to attain. Right now, I want a challenge. At the least, I have a need to work hard for something. I have chalked up a list of things that might spark my interest. Renew my interest in learning Spanish. Take up certifications. May be both. 🙂

A landmark decision is made by the fed today. There are no longer going to be independent investment banks. It fundamentally changes the structure of the wallstreet. Boy, Am I happy to be in New York in the wake of all this. To be a spectator, a mute one at that, nevertheless from such closeness, is to me a privilege. I have seen the frowns on every person in the trains. I have seen the frustration on people who lost jobs. A few I know who lost jobs and the severity it caused them. To watch the system which I am a part of go through such turbulent times is the best experience ever. It has taught me to respect a lot of things in life. Going back to my previous thoughts, it reminds me nothing is stable. If it is, it is not right. There is always a hard time to go through afterwhich everything brightens up. Like the clear skies after storms.

Think deep down and tell me. What is the most powerful influence today? Here are a few popular quotes to help you get the deal:

“God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need” – Fight Club

“Happiness is a myth. It was invented to make us buy things” – Shantaram

There is always so much stuff in my closet that I can get away with. Squandering, to me, has become habitual. Yet, the power of advertisements and the idea of living an extravagant life gets the better of me. Inflation or no inflation, I spend! Bad market? It did not make a difference to my spending habits. You see, that is the power of advertisements and the likes. Spending habits are ruled by these ads. They teach you everything. A lifetime seems to go down in attaining these elated heights by means of shopping.

The “cool” factor! Boy oh boy, this rules us. What makes us cooler? Labels? Gadgets? Takes us right back to shopping. A less than a minute gig makes us spend all that we earn. All I know is earn and spend. So when I think about why I work, it brings me back an answer amounting to “How else will I buy all that I need(read all that is advertised and makes me cooler)?”

Are we missing something? Quite a bit. A part of us that wants to experience the world in its innocence and unpretentious colors is totally lost. Advertisements, labels, spending habits rule us all and leave behind indelible impressions and paint them in colors of pretence. We are slaves to the consumer markets that popularise and sell us things we can do without!

Blogger was fun. It was my first foray into blogging. Not to say that I was a committed blogger. I did not pour out blogs speaking all of my mind and the world. Yet, whatever that I wrote, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the interaction that came along. Other writers that I often visited ignited my rather lethargic mind many a times. In the process, it set me thinking of all the varied perspectives that would be left in oblivion if not for blogs.One is left to wonder, now, how alike all men and women are and yet how our perspectives and thinking sets us apart. It is this very opportunity to understand what our minds speak that the world of blogging has provided us. How else on earth can I get a peek into all the mind of the common man? So yes, blogger gave me all that as I started as a novice in the blogging space.

Now, I am enticed by wordpress. I rest assured that my experience will all be the same as what I mentioned. They say new water drains out the old water. Just the prospect of something new drew me into wordpress. I had no reasons to quit blogger. I had a yearning to try out something new in the laps of wordpress. I think that is a fair reason. The restless mind always seeks adventurous and a different experience.

I have the choice between living life in my comfort zone and growing(read:just stay put!) or I could just hit the roads and see the world(I mean – literally). What would you do when confronted with a situation as such? No amount of profound sayings and preachings help. Ye, I see you nod.

Haven’t you had the feeling that everything, in the end, comes to be monotonous and commonplace? I do. I don’t want to know if it is the right thing or not. Partly because I have seen my friends and others live life without complaining of doing the same thing over and over again and yet being as happy or happier than I am. Oh well.

If I put myself in the shoes of a third person to observe me, I would have to say ( from his/her view) – “Hmm, she doesn’t lead a bad life. Much better than many indeed”. But you see, there is only so much you can do in your day to day life when you have timetable to follow. My job grounds me in as much as I like it. 3 weeks of holidays a year! Its amazing how millions of people have come to accept that. Is there anything else to life at all!?

Me and my meanderings. God, give me the will to cut chase tha rat race. And see the world in all its beauty. Let me get a life! Amen.

House: “You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don’t be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways.”

I had the opportunity to witness “homeless” people in New York City! Not that I had not seen them or was not aware of their existence around in here. It only struck me yesterday that I never thought of what they actually do for shelter and food. Here I was at a charity missionary, that provided shelter and food for a few homeless people in Soho, serving their dinner. It was an experience.

Six of us(all my colleagues) went down to this place in Soho around 6 after work while the sun still shone bright. When my colleague asked me if I would like to volunteer, I only saw this as a good opportunity to be outside on a beautiful day like this(Summer is around! Yay!). Not that we did a whole lot there. All we did was clean up the place, set the table for serving dinner, serve dinner and clean up all the vessels, trays and the place. I was amazed to see the kind of people who come in as homeless. My friend had warned me about this. Looks do not qualify them so at the least. What was commendable was how generous we were allowed to be when serving. We were told that we can serve as much as they ask. I was serving the desserts, there were three kinds of them. Sometimes they asked for all three, sometimes 2 of the same and nothing too. The food was great, not to forget. Obviously as expected owing to the good food, there were a few students there too.

What surprised me at the end was when a whole lot of food was thrown after it was all done. When we asked, we were told there is never dearth of food to serve. Food and food materials keep coming in. There is only so much you can serve and store. So, food gets thrown away. And them all in quite an amount!

I am so out of the age when I sat and analyzed all that a guy would tell me!! “what’d he mean?!, was that a hint!.. blah blah”. Guess I am coming of age. Times that pass by have taught me, I know for a fact that in the end I am the one who should be convinced of it all. Not naive, not dumb for the sweet nothings! I look back and laugh at how naive I was and now I am glad how I have grown up to be. How secure and comfortable I am now can only be explained by how much fun I have without taking anything seriously and analyzing all that happens around me. It is indeed comforting to reach the stage when you can know that if something has to happen, it will happen irresepective of any number of analysis! So yeah, I love not to do that anymore and just have fun while it lasts! Boy! Am I happy.

So everyday when I take the path back home from office I see the old lady, homeless, who gets food from the burgerking or McD in the underground station. She lies down in a pile of worn out comforters with a trunk. Needless to say, felt pity. Not anymore! Yesterday, she was chatting away to glory on her cell phone! Can you believe that! How is that you beg for food and yet have money to support your mobile phone bills?! Beyond me!

It reminds me of freakonomics. Awesome book! Wait until I finsih it and write about how much I love it and why!

I got out of the subway and started walking up the stairs towards the street. It was about 8:20 in the morning. The perfect New York cold morning. People still in the very professional black jackets, scarves(many Burberry), with the blackberry in hand and a laptop hanging down the shoulder; they all walked along. It was an ant line, a very co-ordinated one. Everybody knew the rules of the game. Don’t stop anywhere – it is the behavior of knowing your business. You are out of the train and your business is to walk to your office as quickly as possible. It is religious.

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This city is the perfect place to be. Well, almost. If you like surprises thrown at you when you least expect them. I got out of the office at about 5:oo in the evening. Early. Just as I was crossing one of the lights at Times Square(Yes, I my office is at Times Square), this car went past me, missing a few people by inches. Big crazy writing said “The wacky family” on the car. It had skeletons all over doing stupid stuff. Driving the car, popping out of the window – all the way out at that, popping out of the boot and what not! I almost laughed!

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The joys of living in New Jersey? Getting to view the wonderful Manhattan skyline everyday from the comfort of your bedroom and living room!! And boy, do I love it! I might have to move into another apartment in a couple of months that might not have a view.. Hmmmph 😦

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Elevator communication skills. Ever heard of that? I had not until I found out I have a course on that is part of an ongoing learning that helps acquire effective elevator communication skills. What with all the tall buildings! Chances of bumping into your seniors are very high. And yeah baby, in New York you got to make use of every minute! Funny! I won’t be surprised if a course called subway communication skills come up soon!

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Remember Sunscreen song? And what Baz Luhrmann has got to say about New York?
“Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard”
Somehow, I don’t concur with this! At least, so far, I haven’t met anyone who has been cold and hard on me!

I don’t know why I wrote the heading of the post in that order. Wonder if the roller coaster ride so far has taught what really delusions are, and hell yeah, I am out of denial and hence I want to write them out first!

I am no more naive(which I think and not my friends) and idealistic. I don’t need everything the perfect way. Yeah, I have descended down to reality. All the mad romantic ideas have evaporated out of my mind. I don’t have a short temper(really!). I think at some stage we find religion. Get out of our cocoons, stop messing with it. And then, we get past the stage where we expect mom, dad, this friend, that friend to clean up the mess and fix things! In doing so we undo certain characteristics. I did. And all that is, what I am not today.

Oh and yeah, I am not reckless with my money. It is selfish, cause for as long as I was spending mom and dad’s money, I laundered! I really did. And now with my money, I am pretty organized. Or so I think.

I discovered over the weekend that I am no more playful, yes that is the way I used to be. Of course, this is just suppressed behavior. Adaption to your environment. The fittest survive you know! Need be, I will return to being myself!

And for what I am, it has all got to do with the fact that I seem to now have my feet not just firmly grounded but also in reality. RedQueen of Alice in Wonderland says – “It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place”. Be it for your career or personal life, I truly believe in this. Work, work and work!

Coming of age? I like it this way too!
Did someone say it was fun being the kid that you were? I second with you too!