Toddler Hatching Killer Snakes in His Wardrobe is Just One More Reason We’re Not Procreating

Like most 3-year-olds, Kyle Cumming in Australia is an avid collector of dangerous, terrible things. You know how kids have a knack for finding the dirtiest, most dangerous thing on the ground, and depositing it directly into their mouths? Well instead of chewing on the eggs of the Eastern Brown Snake that he found, Kyle put them in his wardrobe for safe keeping.

The Eastern Brown Snake is -- if you're not a snake enthusiast (and if you are, please know that we are laughing at you) -- the second most venomous snake in the world.

Fast forward a few weeks and the family had all but forgotten about the small container of eggs that Kyle had stored away for safe keeping. When they finally remembered it, it was filled with deadly, terrible snakes.

First order of business for a snake, once it's hatched? Kill something. Good thing the container was sealed shut. The family released the snakes into the wild, which were later found by a local 4-year-old, and promptly chewed and swallowed. That last part isn't true.