For a man who has been engulfed this week in the political equivalent of a category-five hurricane, Donald Trump is in remarkably good shape. He has been reviled around the globe, labelled a fascist, accused by Hillary Clinton of aiding terrorists, and even inspired a British rebellion; yet apart from a hoarse voice he has emerged appearing utterly unscathed.

“We’ve had a pretty interesting couple of days,” he tells a roomful of New England police officers who have come to Portsmouth, New Hampshire, to endorse him for U.S. president. He repays the favor by praising their “beauty” – an interesting word to apply to cops – and calls them “some of the greatest people I know.”

He has taken some heat for his remarks on Monday, he tells the crowd, alluding to his call for a “total and complete shutdown” of U.S. borders to all Muslims seeking entry. “Unbelievable…incredible heat,” he says.

It’s been quite a week for The Donald. After floating a proposal earlier this week to close the borders to all Muslims, the mother of all media shitstorms erupted in a fury.

The condemnation swept around the globe like a massive tsunami. Fierce, fiery condemnation was hurled from politicians on every side of the spectrum. Hashtags were launched. Invective was inveighed! PETITIONS WERE SIGNED! The wailing of thousands of voices, the wringing of millions of hands, the gnashing of a billion teeth, all synchronized together, climbing and colliding through the heavens, a thrashing maelstrom shooting into the void of space, creating a veritable cosmic cacophony that reached the very ear of the creator himself!

Whew. Look, what say we all calm the fuck down, and let’s discuss this like men. MEN, DAMMIT. For that is what we are. We are (or should be) serious men, and these are serious times. We are not a country that runs on Facebook “likes” or Twitter “follows,” although the day grows ever closer. We are not a country that is run by and for the approval of bespectacled leftist zeta-male pajama-boy journalists, as much as they would have us believe that. No, we are a country that is faced with a war against a global ideology that can blend in anywhere and strike from anywhere, hiding behind a veneer of respectability that any enemy would envy. We cannot detect it until it’s too late; it can be living amongst us in the form of man or woman, and it just left 14 Americans dying in puddles of blood. Perhaps it’s time we started acting accordingly instead of wetting our panties every times someone says something “mean.”

As to Trump’s proposal itself, I do not endorse it. I say this not out of some sort of moral outrage, or Constitutional conviction. I say it because, as a practical matter, it doesn’t work. I’m for things that work, and against things that don’t. It’s impossible to screen for “Muslim.” It’s not like there’s a blood test that can identify someone as Muslim; it isn’t like they have it tattooed on their foreheads. So it’s dumb. I’m just guessing that, even if customs agents were allowed to ask about religion, which they can’t, the ISIS guys would just lie about it anyway. So we can dismiss the practicality and workability of the proposal on its face. Was it extreme? Absolutely. But I don’t think TALKING about something is anywhere near as extreme as Obama ACTUALLY legalizing millions of illegal immigrants with a wave of his hand, so spare me all of the “extreme” bloviating.

But instead of just screaming about this being the next coming of the Third Reich, we should examine what we COULD do. First, let’s take a look at the actual limits to controlling immigration. There’s no question that the president of the United Staes can keep out pretty much anyone he wishes. He wouldn’t even have to declare a state of emergency. Even far-left-wing Marxist fanatics were forced to admit this. The example going around this week was Jimmy Carter rounding up the Iranian students for deportation when the Ayatollah pissed us off. For source material, we turn to 8 U.S. Code 1182, which deals with a huge class of people that both Congress and the president may keep out of the United States.

Remember, a foreign national outside of the country has no legal basis, nor any U.S. Constitutional rights, to make a claim to be allowed into the United States. This is different from, say, illegal immigrants who are residing in the continental U.S., as they are “subject to the jurisdiction,” and have SOME rights. A good example is the Supreme Court ruling allowing illegal alien children to attend U.S. public schools. But the foreign guy in Pakistan? Nope. As a matter of fact, you should go read that whole section; it’s pretty fascinating, and filled with good info that I never knew. Did you know that, under current law, we can keep out anyone who has ever been in the communist party? But here’s the relevant paragraph that’s really the “catch-all:”

Whenever the President finds that the entry of any aliens or of any class of aliens into the United States would be detrimental to the interests of the United States, he may by proclamation, and for such period as he shall deem necessary, suspend the entry of all aliens or any class of aliens as immigrants or nonimmigrants, or impose on the entry of aliens any restrictions he may deem to be appropriate.

Doesn’t get much clearer than that. If you’d like to tie your liberal friends up into a pretzel, ask them to explain why a president halting all Muslim immigration would be illegal, but Obama handing out millions of work permits and giving legal status to illegal aliens is completely legal. Then sit back and enjoy the fun. I mean, George Bush shut down air travel over the United States 10 minutes after planes hit the World Trade Center on September 11th, so don’t tell me that the president doesn’t have enormous latitude when it comes to protecting the citizens of the U.S.

Just because it would be entirely legal, however, doesn’t mean that the punditry accepted it. They went berserk. Never mind that America has a long, long history of being quite discerning about who is admitted into the country. That’s why it was so valuable that Trump brought this issue up. It’s really exposed how much the media wants to destroy him. They seem FAR more upset about what Donald Trump said than Tashfeen Malik slaughtering 14 Americans. They were a hell of a lot more outspoken about that than the killings. I mean, the day after Trump floated the idea, Tom Brokaw was making videos about Jim Crow and internment camps, for Christ’s sake. Tom, take those gin-soaked wads of cotton balls out of your pompous cheeks and listen, you mumbly ass: NOBODY MENTIONED INTERNMENT CAMPS. It’s absurd.

But the question remains: What are you going to do to prevent this from happening? United States Customs and Immigration Services cannot possibly check everyone. We issue a million green cards per year alone. There were 173 million visas handed out in 2013. Just last year, there were over 36,000 K-1 (fiancé/e) visas issued, the very type that Tashfeen Malik used to swindle her way into the country to commit jihad. How in the name of government incompetence are you going to possibly screen out ISIS members/sympathizers with those numbers? You cannot.

And while I’m sure the individual members of USCIS and DHS are good people who mean well, they are completely overwhelmed. Not helping is the fact that the leadership they have is completely clueless and incompetent. Check out the testimony from this BUFFOON a few days ago:

Money quote from Rep. Jim Jordan of Ohio:

Ms. Burriesci, I’ve asked you the number of Americans who’ve traveled to Syria. You don’t know. The number of Americans who may have traveled and returned. You don’t know. The number of Syrian refugees who’ve entered the country in the last year. You don’t know. The number of visa waiver program overstays. You don’t know. The number of visa waiver overstays who may have been to Syria before they came here. You don’t know. And the number of American citizens on the no-fly list, and you don’t know. And yet you are the deputy assistant secretary for screening coordination, Office of Policy, Department of Homeland Security in front of the oversight committee and you can’t give us one single number to some, I think, pretty basic questions?

Just so. Because Ms. Burriesci hasn’t been put in that position for her skill, or competence, or past excellent performance in defending and upholding the United States Constitution. She’s there to do what Barack Obama and Valerie Jarrett tell her to do, and to fill the lady-in-charge quota. Is it any wonder why Americans increasingly feel that they are on their own when it comes to protecting themselves? Any wonder why Smith and Wesson’s stock price has done this just this year?

Maybe a better approach would be to halt/curtail immigration from certain parts of the world that aren’t exactly friendly to us and find out what went wrong? Indeed, Rand Paul has already tried this, and 89 senators voted against it. Of course, that was before San Bernardino, so who knows how that vote would go today. But…if you proposed a TEMPORARY (the media keeps leaving that part out) halt, or at least a huge slowing-down, to all visa/green card issuance until you figured out how radical Islamist terrorists keep getting in, isn’t that the smart, tactical thing to do? Furthermore, we shouldn’t admit one single more person from ANYWHERE in the world until we’ve taken care of our foreign allies in the Global War on Terror. There are many Muslims who, with great personal courage, served among our forces with honor, and are still living under a death sentence for helping us overseas. They deserve our help. Way before some jihadi bride from goddamn Pakistan.

If most of the immigration slowdown has to come from the Middle East, Southwest Asia, and Africa, so be it. As even liberal Democrat Loretta, “Multi-Automatic-Round Weapons” Sanchez let slip in an accidental moment of thought crime, the Muslim world has a huge problem that they need to deal with. As a member of the House Intelligence Committee and Homeland Security Committee, she undoubtedly hears things that we aren’t privy to, even if she is pretty dopey. So if she’s saying 5-20 percent of Muslims worldwide would like to help bring about a caliphate, maybe we should pay attention. That’s anywhere from 80-300 million people. And this includes a whole bunch who, while not quite willing to pick up the AK themselves, would look the other way, vote the correct way, suppress investigations the right way, and attack democratic values the right way. Looking in your direction, CAIR.

I know I’m SOFREP’s resident border Nazi/border hawk enjoyer of borders, but damn, it seems like everyone has just accepted the status quo. You just had 14 American citizens shot to death by an immigrant that sailed through your “vetting process,” and we’ve forgotten about them already. (I’m still waiting for an answer to my prediction that Malik never even got the required face-to-face interview.) I would think a pregnant pause is exactly what a SERIOUS nation would take after a horrendous terror attack. You can’t take a break for six weeks and figure out a plan? Remember the first rule of holes? Stop freaking digging. I think we’ll be OK without the Saudi princes for a little while. The Muslim/Arab countries depend on us a hell of a lot more than we depend on them. They’ll play ball. If nothing else, this has forced a conversation about immigration numbers that is long overdue, particularly while we are breaking records with massive volume.

Look at these numbers!

My main question for the hysterics is: What if this happens again? What if, next time, it’s 10 times worse? What if it’s a school full of little kids? I mean, these bastards blew up a plane with a bomb the size of a soda can; what if they pull that off here in America? I say this because, with this tremendous criticism, it seems that everyone involved has pretty much slid their whole pile of chips over onto the “No More Islamic Terror Attacks In America” section of the craps table. Which is a hell of a bet, if you ask me. Will we have to have armed soldiers in the streets? Metal detectors at malls? Put up with being spied on constantly by the NSA? All to ensure continuous immigration? If this happens again, does Hillary Clinton send out another Tweet? Will Bernie Sanders wake up from his afternoon nap?

It's hilarious watching this Trump feeding frenzy while realizing we are one Islamist immigrant attack away from his position being adopted.

Maybe, maybe not. But back to the candidates. Out of every single person running for president, on both sides, Trump is the only one who has at least put forward SOMETHING in order to prevent another terrorist from gaming our system and getting into America to commit jihad. Yes, it was dumb, and unworkable, but at least he’s actually TALKING about it. That’s the good that Trump has accomplished. He makes these crazy statements and the media is forced to actually talk about it, and, to their horror, people respond positively. Normal politicians release a dry statement about “reform,” and the media doesn’t even cover it. Not this time. The other Republican candidates, especially Jeb!, are content to wag fingers and do NOTHING. Business as usual.

And on the Democratic side, it’s even worse. Bernie Sanders…my God, Bernie Sanders. I picture Bernie Sanders as the batshit old crazy guy who goes to eat dinner at four in the afternoon and spends an hour bitching about the temperature of the soup. The man doesn’t even want to talk about it! Bernie, in America, outside of a few nutty activists, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT if fast-food workers make eight bucks an hour. People do, on the other hand, have quite a bit of interest in jihadi terrorists who want to kill us all. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 100 times: The primary job of the U.S. president is the safety and protection of the citizens of the United States and the Constitution. It is not to provide limitless entry to foreign nationals, regardless of what CAIR, La Raza, or MSNBC reporters may think.

Wow! THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM. So, is that her plan, or what? Anyone in the media going to pull their tongues from her ass crack (shudder) and maybe ask a question, or are the shouts from reporters solely reserved for Trump? So apparently the plan from Hilldabeast is…do nothing. Oh, I’m sure that there will be “investigations.” “Processes” will be “studied.” ROUNDTABLES CONVENED. Unreal. And she and her state media propagandists have the nerve to sneeringly condescend and hurl accusations of racism when people say, “Hey, wait a minute…can we talk about this?” I don’t remember the vote that said we were going to open the immigration flood gates from now until the end of time.

And can we stop with the “This is what ISIS WANTS us to do?” for a goddamn second? Jesus, I’ve been hearing that bullshit for months now, usually following a proposal that actually makes sense. “No, we can’t close our borders, that’s what ISIS wants!” “Guys, we can’t carpet bomb the oil trucks, that’s what ISIS wants!” “We can’t deport these crazy jihad preachers, that’s what ISIS wants!” “Mr. President, we can’t possibly destroy ISIS, that’s what ISIS wants!” I mean, Christ. I won’t presume to know what ISIS wants in total, but I know three things for sure:

ISIS wants us to continue not destroying them.

ISIS wants to kill us all.

ISIS wants to use our pathetic border policies to accomplish #2.

As for Trump? Well, after all of the loser Republican talking heads predicted more doom for him, as usual, the opposite happened. His poll numbers have actually gone up. I can tell you, from my own informal polling among all the barrel-chested, tobacco spittin’, terrorist killin’, freedom-fightin’ pipe-hitters that I associate with, Trump is receiving approximately 100 percent of the vote. And I’ve asked like 100 guys. We’ll see what happens. I do think it’s funny how all of the stupid, stupid, LOSER political consultants can’t figure out his appeal. I think this Twitter exchange with a scummy Saudi prince illustrates why pretty well:

The BALLS on this guy. I believe the word I’m looking for is “chutzpah.” Saudi Arabia, home of most of the 9/11 hijackers, Osama bin Ladin, and San Bernardino terrorist Tashfeen Malik. A place where practicing any religion other than Islam is against the law. A place that sends us their shitty, arrogant princes to rape our women and cause general mayhem in our streets. (Yeah, that one was from Qatar. WHATEVS.)

Saudi Arabia is also home to one of the most repressive ideological regimes on the planet. Which, by the way, doesn’t allow you filthy kaffir infidels to even enter the city of Mecca, which is okay, though, because white people or something. Trump’s response?

Dopey Prince @Alwaleed_Talal wants to control our U.S. politicians with daddy’s money. Can’t do it when I get elected. #Trump2016

Within a year, maybe in just a few months, a young soldier with a horrific injury from a bomb blast in Afghanistan will have an operation that has never been performed in the United States: a penis transplant.

The organ will come from a deceased donor, and the surgeons, from Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in Baltimore, say they expect it to start working in a matter of months, developing urinary function, sensation and, eventually, the ability to have sex.

From 2001 to 2013, 1,367 men in military service suffered wounds to the genitals in Iraq or Afghanistan, according to the Department of Defense Trauma Registry. Nearly all were under 35 and were hurt by homemade bombs, commonly called improvised explosive devices, or I.E.D.s. Some lost all or part of their penises or testicles — what doctors call genitourinary injuries.

This is outstanding. I can tell you that the worst fear of every young soldier is to get blown up and live, only without his penis. Especially when you’re a 23-year-old kid who gets an erection whenever the wind shifts direction. It’s a horrible way to live, so this is great news.

I can see it going a little haywire, though. Suppose you were hung like a horse before the injury, and they sewed on a tiny little baby penis? I know, be grateful for what you have, but damn. You’ll be going around forever saying, “You should have seen the one I had before!” Then again, it could go the other way. Dude could have had a micro dick, and then he wakes up with the old PRC-117 radio antenna dangling between his legs. Will size be a criteria for donors? They did mention that they really didn’t want 80-year-old penises; maybe they’ll put a six-inch-minimum requirement on it as well?

And since I can’t imagine there being a vast supply of donor penises, will there be, uh, ethnic matching here? Could the white guy end up with the black guy penis, and vice versa? Now THAT would be a pretty cool story when you drop your pants. I’m sure this will become its own porn category soon enough. You’ll have straight, gay, and mismatched penis transplant porn.

In other words, I have a lot of questions that are probably beneath a New York Times reporter.

Al-Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) released a new video featuring a former Guantanamo detainee, Ibrahim Qosi, who is also known as Sheikh Khubayb al Sudani.

In July 2010, Qosi pled guilty to charges of conspiracy and material support for terrorism before a military commission. His plea was part of a deal in which he agreed to cooperate with prosecutors during his remaining time in U.S. custody. Qosi was transferred to his home country of Sudan two years later, in July 2012.

Qosi joined AQAP in 2014 and became one of its leaders. Qosi and other AQAP commanders discussed their time waging jihad at length in the video, entitled “Guardians of Sharia.”

Islamic scholars ensure the “correctness” of the “jihadist project,” according to Qosi. And the war against America continues through “individual jihad,” which al-Qaeda encourages from abroad. Here, Qosi referred to al-Qaeda’s policy of encouraging attacks by individual adherents and smaller terror cells. Indeed, AQAP’s video celebrates jihadis who have acted in accordance with this call, such as the Kouachi brothers, who struck Charlie Hebdo’s offices in Paris earlier this year. The Kouachi brothers’ operation was sponsored by AQAP.

Sure, the Obama administration makes terrible decisions, but try to look on the bright side: Now, this guy’s back in the fight. So instead of him getting three halal-correct hots and a cot while living the good life in Guantanamo, he’s now back out there, nice and ready to receive a Hellfire missile up his ass.

Enjoy freedom while you can, Ibrahim, you smelly, dirty fuck, you. Our drone operators got something for dat azz. I predict a future of being turned into a greasy smudge on a Yemeni sidewalk within a year. Insha’Allah.

The two Afghan nationals who were training at a Georgia Air Force and were reported missing earlier this week have reportedly been identified Thursday.

Several federal law enforcement agencies are searching for Mirwais Kohistani and Shirzad Rohullah, unnamed Air Force officials told Channel 2 Action News. The officials said the two men were a part of a 23-man group learning to fly and maintain an A-29 fighter plane at Moody Air Force Base outside Valdosta.

The Homeland Security and State Department have taken the lead, the Moody Air Force officials said in a statement Thursday and reiterated that they didn’t believe the men posed a threat.

The Air Force said in a statement Tuesday Kohistani and Rohullah didn’t report Monday to “their regular maintenance training” with the 81st Fight Squadron.

The two men have been training at the base since February and “were screened prior to their arrival in the United States more than a year ago,” according to the statement. “There’s zero evidence that these guys are terrorists,” Brian Childress, police chief in Valdosta, which is near Moody Air Force Base, said on Tuesday.

“I would just caution that that assessment is as good as what we know,” Georgia State University professor Robert Friedmann told Channel 2 Action News.

Friedmann said he believes Kohistani and Rohullah walked away because they didn’t want to return to Afghanistan.

Can we not, with this? Here’s a crazy thought: You know how we’ve spent billions of dollars on air bases in Afghanistan? How about you just do all of the training over there? Because right now, your words about how these two jabronis have been “screened” is giving me zero comfort.

Pretty sure Friedmann is right, though. Obviously, you never know, but my instinct tells me that these guys caught a glimpse of the good life here in the land of the Big BX and thought, “HELL with going back to that mud pile I live in.” After all, it’s happened a few other times before. Pretty pathetic and cowardly that they just cut and ran from their own country.

That being said, I can’t say I blame them. They probably also caught a whiff of all of those blonde American women going in and out of the BX and got a little NEEDY, if ya know what I’m saying.

Or it could have gone another way. Maybe they saw the PJs of the 38th Rescue Squadron stationed at Moody, and it gave them a little stirring-up feeling deep in the loins. So maybe they went out in the town to get some of that PJ tail. On the other hand, usually those guys like their men a lot younger, so maybe they’re staking out the local elementary school.

Accused U.S. Army deserter Bowe Bergdahl, who was held captive by the Taliban for five years, said in a podcast launched on Thursday that he left his post in Afghanistan to draw attention to “leadership failure” in his unit.

“What I was seeing from my first unit all the way up into Afghanistan, all I was seeing was leadership failure,” Bergdahl, an Army sergeant, said in the interview broadcast on “Serial,” a podcast series.

Comparing himself to the fictional rogue CIA agent Jason Bourne, Bergdahl said his motive in leaving his post in 2009 was to prompt a search that would result in answers to his concerns about military leadership. He said he expected to be imprisoned, but felt it was worth it.

“I felt that I would rather be in Leavenworth than standing over the bodies of guys in my platoon,” said Bergdahl, who conceded his actions were “stupid.”

This fucking guy. Can you believe that we gave back five jihadis to get this clown? Bowe, I don’t believe a goddamn word you’re saying. Nobody goes wandering around in Taliban country on some mythical quest to prove “leadership failure.” You are so full of shit, your eyeballs are getting stinky. Can we just shit or get off the pot with this jerk? Either throw a rope over the nearest tree branch and be down with it, or cut him loose, and be done with it. If you’re going to end up letting him go ANYWAY (which they will), just hurry up and do it.

At around 3 p.m. last Saturday, the Florida Highway Patrol was alerted to several calls reporting a Cadillac driving erratically heading westbound on the road. An FHP trooper spotted the car and clocked it going 109 mph. The trooper stopped the car and immediately noticed that Noe DeJesus was shirtless and had an open 12-pack of Corona wedged in between the front two seats. DeJesus, a resident of Lehigh Acres, was ordered to get out of the car, and it was then that the trooper noticed he was completely naked. He smelled of alcohol, had bloodshot eyes, and had slurry speech. When he tried to put his pants back on he nearly fell.

Inside the car, the trooper found three women and an empty bottle of Crown Royal.

Naturally, he failed his field sobriety test and was arrested on a DUI charge and a charge of driving without a license to boot.

Dejesus, my man. Dude has it all figured out. Does he need a license? Nope. My boy has three chicks, a bottle of Crown, and a twelve pack. Old Noe is doing just fine.

Comments

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JESullivan

Bowe WHO??!!?? And BK.. you sure SS is where you want to serve? A couple mates there describe it as second only to shoveling coal to stoke the furnaces of hell! True tale lad....

JJena

That's right... Roundup is more for those of us who like it rough (and sometimes even a little dirty).

mrspaul

The Round-up ain't for wimps!!!

JJena

Another great point... It seems as though he has not done all of his roundup homework each week.

mrspaul

JJ, I also think Ewen may have missed the Round-up talking about the Afghan's abuse and child rape of the young boys, resulting in the upcoming forced discharge of Charles Martland because he dared to intervene on a child's behalf. And the military brass is telling our soldiers to 'look away' as these crimes against children are happening on US bases. This is what BK is referring to. It's a practice in Afghanistan...Muslim men raping boys!!!