Unhealthy Habits You Don't Need To Break

13 'Harmful' Things That Are Actually Really Good For You

Your Facebook homepage is a constant barrage of well-meaning but scary nutrition news and health advice. It’s all enough to make your eyes roll back in your head like a shark about to eat something that’s really bad for it. “That’s too much tuna, shark! Mercury poisoning is real! Try kelp or spirulina already!” the Facebook for sharks would scream into its dead black eyes if shark FB existed and if sharks could read. But they can’t. And there is no Shark Zuckerberg (I’m sorry and you’re welcome).

Well, we humans can read, and we’re tired of the daily warnings of the “Don’t do/eat this, OR ELSE”!” variety. Obsessing about health can take the wind out of your sails, especially when you read that eating processed meat can cause cancer right when you're about to have some bacon.

But not today. Today is for celebrating the bad stuff that’s actually good for you. That’s right. AskMen is taking back awesome stuff that’s supposed to be bad for you and liberating your body from years of abstinence and guilt. We’ve rounded up the usual suspects and we’re setting them free. Take that, internet!

Chocolate. Yes, Even Milk Chocolate.

The flavonols in this dark and delicious culprit on the baddies list can help lower cardiovascular risk by 11% and stroke risk by 23%. And the benefits were relevant even in folks who ate the milk variety. Keep it to about 100 g a day and you’ll put some distance between you and a cardiologist. Plus, the polyphenols in the sweet stuff can combat the common cold and help with things like concentration. So, get some in your face hole.

Red Meat. Eat Up.

Is meat really bad for you? Touted as one of the biggest bad guys for health and the environment, there are plenty of benefits to enjoying a tasty T-bone on occasion. Go organic if you can but each bite is loaded with stuff your body really needs: vitamins A, B, D, zinc, iron, selenium, and protein. Your nervous system, bones, teeth and eyeballs will thank you. Again, go ahead and facehole it up if your inner carnivore has been lamenting lentils and chickpeas.

Video Games. Play On.

Wasting away hour after hour enmeshed in Fallout 4 may make you feel like a guilty sofa slug but don’t despair, davenport invertebrate! Video games are good for you. Studies showed that kids who were regular gamers had better hand-eye coordination, were better at science and had higher IQs than those who weren't. Gaming even improved strategic thinking and planning skills. So treat yourself and buy that new console.

Sunshine. Well, UV Rays.

The star of our solar system gets a bad rap as a sunshiny carcinogen but there are plenty of reasons to make sure you’re getting enough sunlight exposure. It makes your body produce vitamin D and can help prevent things like prostate and colorectal cancer. Not to mention autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis and Type 1 diabetes. So slap on some shades, some SPF15 and go get some sunshine. Because it also helps with moods and mild depression. Especially in the northern hemisphere.

Weed. And Its Fun Cousins.

Linked to laziness, overeating and giggling like a goofball, pot is enjoying a new day as several states are on the verge of legalizing marijuana. But still, no one welcomes a moniker of “Pothead”. Yet studies showed that pot can be useful in managing cancer treatment side-effects as well as the spread of tumors. And psychedelic drugs like LSD and mushrooms help treat anxiety disorders and the dark mental state of the chronically ill.

Loud Music. Blast it.

In the name of noise pollution and tender eardrums, old people have been shaking their fists and yelling at kids to lower their music for decades. But loud music has some benefits. Simply put it makes us happy. Something about the vibrations activates our caveman brains. We have an acoustic sense that craves vibration the same way we crave sex and food. And loud music satiates it. So, turn up the bass every now and then. You only need about 30 decibels to get ‘er done.

Wine. Also, Beer.

Excess drinking is not pretty. Fun, yes. But not pretty. You’ll remember when Christmas or happy hour rolls around. But enjoy in moderation and you just might get prettier. The resveratrol in wine can turn your bad “white” fat into good “brown” fat. The kind which burns calories (also, take that racism). If ale is more your speed, rejoice. Beer, showed to be rich in vitamin B6, can reduce buildup of homocysteine, an amino acid linked to heart attack. So toss a couple back a day free of guilt. Cheers to the health benefits of alcohol!

Coffee. Make It A Large.

Sometimes blamed for pancreatic cancer, bone issues, and heart palpitations, coffee is often classified as a guilty pleasure. But the java jolt so sought by early risers all over the planet may combat or delay Parkinson’s disease in males. Plus, it helps with gallstones, Type II diabetes, cardiovascular disease and may reduce the risk of Alzheimer's by 31%! Yeah. Also, coffee consumption can help you live longer. So, it’s pretty much black gold. Enjoy a few cups a day if you like.

Ice Cream. Well, All Dairy Actually.

We’ve all heard about the evils of dairy for years now. But a study conducted in Wales showed that men who consumed dairy where a whopping 60% less likely to suffer from high blood pressure, and elevated blood fat and sugar levels: symptoms which are typically labeled “metabolic syndrome” and can lead to diabetes, heart disease and stroke. So don’t stress too much about that butter that came with complimentary bread at lunch. Go for it, you decadent libertine! You’re doing your body good.

Texting Vs. Talking.

LOLs notwithstanding, instead of altering human interaction for the worse, texting may in fact be bringing people together. Studies showed that teens and parents who text felt closer to one another due to easy and non-invasive check ins that texting allows. The same held true for adults who text. It connects people while letting them maintain their personal space. It’s no wonder an emoji was chosen as word of the year. Yes, that happened.

Sugary Soft Drinks. Not Diet!

Our war with sugar rages on leaving soda-loving people opting for the diet version of their favorite soft drink. But the sugary original is probably a better bet. A 2005 study showed that people who regularly drank diet soda were way more likely to gain excess, unhealthy weight than those who sucked back the sugary versions of the same drinks. Artificial sweeteners disrupt appetite control, making you crave more sweets. So have a Coke and smile and let’s all keep pretending we forgot who made that famous.

Unprotected Sex. Really.

Yes. You read that right. But let’s please clarify that protected sex with a condom is far, far safer, and smarter, than unprotected sex. That said, if you happen to be lucky enough to be in a relationship with a healthy person and are healthy yourself, studies show that unprotected sex significantly boosts the mental well-being of both men and women. In fact, it helps them handle stress far better in their day-to-day lives. But again, stress levels would likely spike in the event of an unwanted pregnancy or say, chlamydia. So, maybe don’t roll the dice with a stranger here. Or ever.

Smoking?! WTF?!

Nope. Just kidding. This is still really, really, REALLY terrible for you. Don’t do it. And stop if you are doing it. We know, Keith Richards is still alive. But just barely and he looks like he should be on the cover of Goblin Bride magazine. It’s a bad look. Quit. Yesterday. Sorry Keith.

And the other stuff we listed should be enjoyed in moderation but if you need me I’ll be blasting Lynyrd Skynyrd’s "Free Bird" as I sunbathe naked while while texting my parents and sipping on a chocolate mocha latte smoothie. Then I’m going to have a glass of wine, a porterhouse steak and play Witcher 3. At least until tomorrow, when we find out all this stuff is super bad for us again.