The culture needs more doubles battles

So I suppose if I’m going to start saying ‘we’ in public when referring to King of the Ronalds, I should really start writing the occasional blog, shouldn’t I? I started coming up with some clickbait Unilad-style shite, the kind of uninspired wank that means they won’t let me write for Battlerap.com.

I was thinking ‘five things I want to see more of in battling,’ but really, the more I thought about it, the more I realise there’s only one major trend I want to see: More two-on-two battles. A blog post was born.

Doubles battles make money

Straight off the bat, let’s talk business. With your average battle card nowadays consisting of maybe five or six battles, that’s 10-12 battlers bringing, say, a couple of audience members each on average. That’s being pretty fucking generous when it comes to how much promo battlers do for their own shows.

Now imagine every battle on that card was a doubles match. That’s 24 battlers instead of 12. Double the audience pull. Double the tickets sold. Double what the bar takes. Tag matches make commercial sense, and psychologically speaking you’re less likely to no-show your tag partner who you’ve spent weeks writing with than you are a single opponent.

Tag battles give you something new

Consider the personalities involved. Low key? Old Bard is pretty bored of battle rap. There comes a point after all these years when you feel like you’ve seen it all. Even with newcomers, once you get a feel for their style you know what’s going to happen when Street Battler meets Nerd Battler or, even more tired out, when Mister Jokes meets Mister Bars.

Doubles teams introduce a whole new dynamic to the mix. Two battlers come together (no pause) to form a whole new entity. KOTR, of course, are leading the way in promoting this kind of thing by giving teams names instead of the old A&B vs X&Y thing. The flagship example was the recent tag titles match between representatives of TFN and Swed Nation.

Two-on-twos make you a better human

While we’re talking about that battle, was anyone else blown away by the confidence this format seemed to give Chappo, who can’t deny he’s had some shaky solo performances, and Live Lans in what must have felt like a big battle debut? The tag format gave these lads wings and gave us something far greater than the sum of its parts.

Now I’m not saying KOTR tolerates choking in any way shape or form, but the tag format also gives under-prepped battlers some level of cushioning. We’ve more or less rinsed all the fun we can get out of watching people choke, so having a partner there for you to cover any ‘long pauses’ makes sure the audience doesn’t feel cheated.

Imagine what teams like these might show up with:

Smart Alex & Big Daddy Bleach

142 & Defenin

Bowski & Hulk (this actually happened, it was dope)

Frequent Thought & JayBe

Reelapse & Pedro

Mac Sherry & Blitz.

Maybe I’m biased. I cut my teeth watching the WRC doubles matches that gave us so many defining moments and let us get to know these characters not just in relation to their opponents, but also their allies. What do you think? Who’d make a good tag team? Who would they face? Leave a comment, share the blog so the squad can have a read and, as always, have nice day.