Pure Geekness

Wednesday Whimsy

By: Caelrona

Hiya all! Another week, another blog post. It’s Wednesday again, and so here I am to bring you a dash of geek. This past weekend I went to see the new release Warm Bodies in theaters with a couple of friends. My popcorn was amazing, because we went to a theater with the flavored pop-corn salt thingies, and the movie was pretty good too. I mean, it’s nothing I’m super excited about, but it wasn’t bad at all, it just wasn’t as good as, say, Zombieland. It just had too much chick-flick in it to be something that I could really love. But anyway, I would hate to ruin it for those of you who have yet to watch it, so instead of telling you about it I thought I’d instead use it for inspiration. Between it and the new episodes of The Walking Dead airing this coming Sunday, I’m in a zombie mood. So here we have my Top 5 Worst Zombie Types.

Number 5: Suiciders from Dead Island

These zombies are gross. The game booklet describes them thusly; “This poor creature trapped in a disfigured, pulsing form retains a semblance of awareness even though its instincts drive it to get close to an uninfected survivor and attack with a self-destructive explosion. Fighting suiciders in a confined space is or from close range is… suicidal.” So yeah, they are big, walking pustules of infection waiting to explode themselves to kill you, and if you survive the explosion you’ll be covered in their nasty infectious puss. Gross. Also they attempt to garner your sympathy by uttering a creepy ‘Help Me’ when ever you come near them. No thanks!

Number 4: Rage Virus Zombies from 28 Day/Weeks Later

Zombies that can run? Screw that shit! If the zombie apocalypse ever happens then I want the dumb, slow, dead kind. I do not want running live ones!

Number 3: Bonies from Warm Bodies

Now, I don’t want to ruin the movie for those of you who haven’t seen it, so I’ll keep this short. They are zombies that have peeled all their flesh off. That’s right. Skeleton zombies. Creepy as fuck. Oh, and they can run.

Number 2: Mutations from Resident Evil

In basically every Resident Evil there are always weird mutated zombie-things. From the wall-crawling Lickers that bite Rain Ocampo in the very first Resident Evil movie, to the huge, muscled Axeman that Alice fights in the shower room of the prison in the 4th Resident Evil movie, to the tunnel-digging Majini also from the 4th movie. I dislike them intensely. Mainly because of their creepy factor, but also I just dislike the entire premise of them. While they have backstory and purpose in the games, they really just make very little sense at all in the movies.

Number 1: Reavers from Serenity/Firefly

The Reavers from Serenity/Firefly aren’t actually zombies, I know. But they’re cannibalistic, and kill everything so it is close enough for me have always kind of considered them as sort of zombies. Anyway, one thing is for certain; I absolutely, positively do not want able-bodied, running zombies who can think and use weapons and technology. That would be horrible.

There we have it! My Top 5 Worst Zombie Types. Of course there are individual zombies I dislike intensely, these types are my least favorite. Well, I should rephrase that. I enjoy watching them; they would be my least favorite kinds to have to deal with. but anyway, all this talk of zombies has given me some cravings… No, not for human brains. For a zombie movie marathon! Or a zombie tv-show marathon… ooh, now I’m even more excited for the new episodes of the Walking Dead! I suppose I will survive the few days we have until the first one airs. Hopefully ya’ll can too!