Parenting Alone? It’s No Easy Job

I pretend to have all the energy in the world, when all that I want to do is hit the bed…. It’s no easy job parenting alone!

It isn’t uncommon these days, to find spouses living in two different places. The reasons may be many- better career prospects or children’s’ education. In such cases, the children end up being with one of the parent, meeting the other over long weekends or vacations. In my case, the husband being in the armed forces, is constantly away for long spells, leaving me and the kids to manage on our own in what I call our little mad home. So for my two little children I am their single parent (well, I shall ignore the parenting on the telephone done by the hubby).

So what’s the big deal here? Why does this take a toll on me?

I am charged 24/7

So here I am the super mom, charged up and on call 24/7. Of course most moms are on some sort of red alert through the day when it comes to their child’s needs. But hey think about managing the show single-handedly with no help whatsoever, making those daily small decisions on your own too. I am up and about, showing up at all school functions. I cart around them and their playmates on every single day of the week. I am the nurse, the cheer leader, the counselor, the cook; well the list just goes on…

I plan; really… even before the previous one is executed

Did you just think about planning the meals for the day? Oh wait there’s more. Like the craft activity for the younger one that involves paper quilling. And what did the older one want? A play date with her friend. What about the cycling session with both of them? Yes, that’s what I do all the time. The mind seems to be occupied, juggling various little plans.

Where did those 24 hours go?

The hours are just not enough in a day. Damn! The newspaper still hasn’t been read. Never mind, in a few hours the next day’s paper would be at the door.

Frustrations? What do they look like?

I sat with that hot cup of coffee, soaking in every bit of the aroma. The younger one decides to squeal. I rush to see what it was all about, only to realize that her little pony tail lay open. I head back to my coffee and as the first few sips go down my throat, the sound from the kid’s room doesn’t seem all too fine. I pretend to be calm, as I pull them apart after their violent fight of bites and scratches. A few minutes of consoling and I head back to my coffee which now is sans the yummy froth and aroma. Frustrated? Naah you wouldn’t spot them on my brow.

When does the day end?

And despite the tiring day, every single day, I find time to read them a bedtime story, and tuck them into bed. Bliss!!!!! The kids are asleep, the house is silent. I sit down and all I want to do is talk to someone.

Ramya Abhinand

Every time my husband goes out of town on business, I question whether we will actually survive the insane schedule alone. But we somehow always do, I don’t know how I’d do it with him gone all the time. You have some super mom strength 🙂

Ramya Abhinand

inquisitivegeet

Parenting is not easy joba nd when the other half is away for work, it becomes even more difficult! I can relate this post with my sister-in-law whose husband is away mostly because of work and how everything takes a toll on her!

All I’ll say is, calm down, take a deep breath and find just one activity that gives you peace of mind in the entire day! It will really make you feel good 🙂

Ramya Abhinand

I’m not a parent. I only have two dogs and cats that vie for attention when my husband is away with business and even that sometimes seems to be difficult. What with getting up earlier to walk them and feed them before leaving for work for 10-12 hours. It’s not the same, but I empathize with you for sure.

Ramya Abhinand

The challenges of motherhood compounded by going it alone most of the time! I could feel your frustration through this piece. I could also feel the love you have for your family. Enjoy this time, for it marches on quickly.

I was nodding my head with each line I read above. I have been into single parenting since last 1 year when husband left India to work overseas. Not that he helped me with anything at home but yes he bought groceries, looked after plumbing and such issues and I did not use to drive the car for recreational purposes which for us was going to the mall. So now unassumingly I am doing even those and it is exhausting. I must not have read the newspapers in ages. One thing I can still be grateful about is I have only one kid to deal with.

Ramya Abhinand

I agree, it’s quite challenging. In fact I find it so difficult to manage my little lone alone (he just turned one). I have full support of my hubby, I eagerly wait for him to come back from office!! But still find it tough to do everything alone the whole day. Kudos to you!! you are managing single – handedly!!