30 Ways to Boost Self Esteem in Children

Build Confidence

1. Complete with Your Child the Free printable Self Esteem mini-book! Asking your child what they LOVE about themselves & what others LOVE about them can help them realize their talents & what makes them so SPECIAL. ~ Take it a step further & have your kids say in front of the mirror “I LOVE ME!” Every morning/night.

This mini-booklet has more details, more spots for photos & place of worship.

Age, Color Eyes, Hair, Residence/Home

Family Information (names of parents, siblings)

Pets, Fun Friends

Favorite: Food, Animal, Movie, Book… etc

Super Amazing at ______ Want to get Better at______

School Day ~ Teacher, Favorite subject, How I get to school, At Recess I _____ etc.

Sport Story, Church Information, Favorite Scripture

I am Very Special ~ I show others I care by_______ I do my best to always _______ Things I can do really well ___ Things people like about me____ (draw a picture of yourself).

2. Have a FAMILY PERFORMANCE Night! Everyone takes turns getting up and performing something in front of the rest of the family. It can be a skit, a poem they wrote, telling a joke, displaying art work they did, reading a book, singing, dancing you name it! PERFORM & APPLAUD!

Click here for a post with tips on Family Meetings and a book you can purchase for these meetings

3. HARD WORK! Learning hard work even at a young age can help them build confidence with their success and new abilities! Praise their efforts and abilities.

Click Here for a Comprehensive List of Skills (chores) that kids should be able to do at certain ages (2 years to 18 years)

Click Here for 21 Chore & Behavior Charts (some free printable, some you can purchase, some you can make!)

Click Here for a great incentive idea to Encourage Chores (Quarter Plan)

Click Here for tutorial on the chore Charts pictured above – along with a list of chores she used.

4. There’s Always a Solution! Whenever your child is having a difficult time figuring something out, LET THEM FIGURE IT OUT. Maybe help brainstorm some ideas with them, but if they want to try and fix a problem a certain way, let them. Even if you know it wont work, just let them figure that part out on their own. Relying on you to fix all their problems won’t build confidence in themselves…

Click Here for a FREE printable poster with healthy options of what your child can do when someone is annoying them.

Click Here for an Activity on Tattling versus Reporting, Wheel of Choices to resolve conflicts and more

Click Here for a visual for kids on “How do You Handle Conflict?” Like a mouse, a monster or a human?

5. Homework! As early as Preschool, your child needs a parent that is interested in their school and will help them set goals and achieve them! If your child goes to school without finishing homework, they feel like they failed, or even that they CAN’T DO IT. Talk to them about the importance of school and then give them the time (and attention sometimes) they need to understand their work. Getting it done on time is a little boost of pride they need to continue motivation.

Click Here for a post with strategies to help your child with homework/studying (distracted, ADHD, ADD)

Click Here to read 25 tips from teachers on how to get kids to slow down on their homework.

6.Never say never! (or- I can’t). Nothing breaks your heart more when your child says “I CAN’T” and then hangs their head. That phrase should not be allowed in your home. Instead say: “I need to try again!” It really only takes a few words to get your child inspired. Teach them about the ‘art’ of practicing and trying your best.

Click here for a post on a book that helps kids understand & build Self Esteem (Positive Self Talk)

Click here for a post with Examples of turning negative thinking into positive thinking as well as free positive affirmation printable cards

7. Goals! Set goals as a family and also let your child set their own goals. Make a chart to mark your progress. Teach them again that hard work is the only way to achieving something worth while. Then celebrate when goals are reached. Praising your child is a constant necessity.

Click Here for a Post on Reflections (New Years Reflections) with free printable worksheet for kids to choose what they would like to work on or get better at.

Click Here to read 10 Compliments/Praise/Encouragement that your children NEED to hear.

8. Don’t Let Your ChildBottle up Their Emotions! Telling your child NOT to cry is like telling your child to bottle it up. And then you instantly lose their confidence in talking to you about how they feel. Crying is like laughing, it’s necessary. Emotions are OKAY.

Click Here for Activities and free printable Feelings Charts to help you explore emotions with your child!

Click Here to find out more about the technique PIE for emotional expression, Feelings Activities & Crafts as well as many Links to other posts on this blog relating to Emotions.

Click Here to read 14 Tips to Help Strengthen Emotional Intelligence in Children

9.Put your SILLY on. Encourage your child to be silly. That means that you need to let your child be silly and also participate and laugh along! It’s important to teach them to not care what others think. That’s a hard thing to instill, but if you ever want them to stand up for what they believe or to be themselves, then start BEING SILLY. Even if that means crazy hair dancing…

Click Here for a post on making a Family Game Basket – Keep laughter going with Family Games!

Click Here for the game Uno Dare with a twist to promote family bonding & laughter – also many links on this blog relating to emotions & feelings

Click Here for Activities & Games that promote Family Bonding & also many other links to posts on this blog that promote family bonding/connection/laughing

10. DANCE! Because no one’s watching. This intertwines with #2 and #9, but dancing as a family is one of the best ways to spend quality time together. Seriously! You can hip hop, tap, tip toe ballet and swing dance it all! Whenever you see that your kids need a pick-me-up, start playing some music!

11. Don’t say DON’T. We find ourselves saying things like: Don’t yell in the car! Don’t put your elbows on the table! Don’t hit! Don’t put your shoes there! Don’t Don’t Don’t! Or we could calm the home down by saying things like this: No one wants anyone to get a headache, so lets be quieter. Do you think your brother likes to be hit? What should we do now? Can you find a better spot for your shoes? As soon as you say DON’T your child feels victimized and belittled.

Click Here to read 10 Things You Should STOP saying to your kids (and What to Say Instead)

13.SERVICE. Serving someone else is the ultimate self-booster. Personally I don’t know anything that feels better than serving others. Kids can feel that too when they have the opportunity to serve. Start with simple things, like writing kinds words to someone, giving someone a gift, opening a door.

14.POST OFFICE. Make Each family member their own mail box. It’s the perfect opportunity to serve someone anonymously in your home and it’s a great place to start teaching about service. Love notes, notes of encouragement, candy, stickers, toys. They could all be found in your mailboxes. (Even your husband/wife could take advantage of leaving one another sentiments). It’s important to teach service in the home first, and this is a special way to provide this life lesson.

Click Here for More Ideas on Creating a Post Office in Your Home, even writing letters to a stuffed animal with “problems” that need solving

15. Stress Relief. Kids can get stressed, they can even feel when you’re stressed so don’t encourage it. There’s many ways to deal with it and you can find your own personal way. If they’re stressing about something that already happened, help them understand that they don’t need to stress over something that they can’t change and already happened. It’s over, so let’s think about something else. Download a Free printable Handout “Teaching Kids about Stress” that includes a “Body Scan” & “Positive Thinking Strategy”: Teaching-Kids-about-Stress

Click here for Worksheets on Coping Skills for kids starting at age 3 years to 17 years old.

Click Here for 20 Activities for kids that you can implement FAST to press the “RESET” button things start to get TOUGH

16. Bedroom Decor. Let your kids help decorate their room. Let them have fun and express themselves in what they want on the wall or colors that they love. When you decorate your home in a way that you love, it makes walking into your home so much more fun! A kid feels the same way.

17. Imbed ‘I’m Sorry’ and ‘I forgive you’ into their mind at a young age. The importance of saying it and the understanding of it. Sounds simple but even as an adult it’s hard to do both those things, same for children.

18.Face Your Fears! If your child is afraid of the dark, play some games in the dark or turn the lights off and draw funny pictures in the dark and laugh at them. If your child is afraid of water, take them to the pool but don’t worry about making it constructive, just fun! But always talk to them about it before hand, don’t just throw them at it head-on.

Click Here to Learn more about teaching your kids the difference between “The happy Brain” and “The Worry Brain”

19. Be a Good Sport. What does that mean anyway? Well, it means give your best effort, and appreciate your team’s and your opponent’s efforts no matter who wins. And be gracious and humble. No one wants to be friends with a sore looser, which can diminish your kid’s confidence. They don’t have to LIKE to lose, they just need to know that it’s a part of life. Being competitive shouldn’t be confused with bad sportsmanship. It’s okay to be competitive and enthused.

Click Here for a free printable workbook with lots of Social Skill Activities and a Simple Game played with a penny

20. Family Dates. Daddy-daughter dates, mother-son dates, mother-daughter, father-son or the WHOLE clan. Spend outing time together! Make the effort to spend one on one time communicating and listening. Let them control the conversation and listen carefully. Have fun together, let them help plan the dates. TIME isn’t always easy so make time.

Click Here for Some Tips on Building a Strong Connection with Your Child

Here is a Great Place to Find Activities for Kids ~ Little Bird Website (Free Printable List of 50+ Ideas & Activities to do with Kids here: 50 plus ideas – you can see the list at the bottom of this post)

21. Accept Your Children & Everything They Have to Offer You. As parents, we give our kids everything. But children don’t have jobs or means to give their parents everything in return. So when they give you a leaf, or a page they colored or a dandelion, it needs to be the most important thing you’ve ever seen because it’s the only thing they have to give. Let them know how grateful you are. And that’s another way of teaching them the ‘good feeling’ of serving others as well.

Click Here to Read 19 Things That Our Kids NEED to Hear From Us Frequently

22. Value Education & Teach Your Kids!Kids ask a BAZILLION questions. And the only thing you can do to make you sane to answer them. If they want to cook, teach them and let them, if they want to know how an airplane flies, research and tell them. It’s fun when you learn new things too. Be honest with them. They trust everything you tell them so make it count. They soak in everything they learn & hear so encourage them. They’ll learn new skills and knowledge that will GREATLY increase their confidence!

Click Here for Teaching Activities that Promote Learning & Attachment – link to website with activities listed by age (up to age 5 years but you can adapt for older kids)

23. Be a Role Model for Good Manners. You need to make it fun and not miserable. But to make it a learning process you could make a rule that who ever has the pig last has to clear the table. Manners takes TIME and EFFORT. The learning happens within the family every single day. Good manners will help your child interact with others in a way that will attract positive feedback. It takes chronic grueling and doing it in a happy manner. This is up for personal preference in handling the manners that are important to you.

Bad Manners Dinner Table Pig

Pass the Piggy is easy and fun to play. To prepare for the game, all you have to do is cut out the pig and place it on the dinner table. If someone uses bad manners – doesn’t put their napkin in their lap, chews with their mouth open, talks with their mouth full, has their elbows on the table, holds their utensils incorrectly, slouches over to eat, gets up without being excused, burps, slurps or complains about the meal – then anyone can “squeal” on them by pointing out their bad manners.

The person with bad table manners then has to say “Oink, Oink” and the piggy is passed to them. The piggy is continually passed around to whoever gets squealed on during the meal. Whoever has the pig at the end of the meal does the dishes! If your kids are really competitive, you can lighten it up by letting them catch daddy and mommy the first few nights.

24.Family Home Evening Concept. Once a week spend the evening together and make NO OTHER PLANS. Teach a lesson, play a game, sing, chat, ask your children and family if there’s anything that can be done to make your home more happy. It’s about spending time together. Gotta make that time.

25. Raise Children That Are Grateful. Being thankful means you know you are blessed. Knowing you’re blessed means you appreciate your life and what you have. One way to teach kids thankfulness is kinda like prayers but instead of just repeating ‘Please bless this and please bless this’ work on ‘Thank you for this’. Also, just talk about it. “I’m thankful for this, what are you thankful for?”

Click Here for 11 Ways to Raise a Grateful Child with some wonderful ideas

26. Do Not Embarrass your children in front of others. Getting upset at your child can feel belittling to them, but even more so in front of others. It’s the small things that matter. You can make a signal that only you and your kid knows what it means. If your child interrupts you in a conversation, you can give him/her the ‘signal’ so they know they need to wait and not interrupt. The child doesn’t get embarrassed. Side note, NEVER punish your child when you’re angry. Calm it down first and think of a reasonable response.

27. Teach Your Kids Friendship Skills. Ask your child, “do you think friends make fun of you? Do you think friends make you make bad choices?” Etc. Help them understand good qualities they need to have in a friendship. Always listen to your child’s concerns about friends and then help them figure out the best way to find solutions. Even role playing will help them with the thought process. Be in their life, know their friends, have them over for play dates. We all know friends can influence your child in every way.

Click Here for a Friendship Bug Activity ~ Bring awareness to what things bother them and what things they do that bother others.

Click Here to Read Tips for Parents in detecting and dealing with Bullying

28.Make Your Kids Aware of Body Safety. Having your children understand safety without scaring them is important to their confidence and courage. Find a way to talk to them about predators. Read a Book on Personal Safety. Let them be in the ‘know’.

“Stop telling your kids not to talk to strangers. They might need to talk to a stranger one day. Instead, teach them which sorts of strangers are safe. You know who’s safe? A mom with kids. Period. Your kid gets separated from you at the mall? Tell her to flag down the first mom with kids she sees.”

29.Nurture Leadership Skills in Your Children. For your child to gain leadership skills all you need to do is give them decision making opportunities. This also falls in line with #4 & also 16. Give them leeway and find the time and effort to make it happen often. Praise them for their success and encourage them further if by chance their choice doesn’t work. Encourage their input for ideas. Let them take charge. If they’re bored don’t tell them what to do, ask them etc.

Click Here for 9 phrases that Nurture Respect, Confidence & Community to use with Kids

30. Teach Kids to Be Optimistic! If you’re not in the mood to be, then be aware of your adult conversations around children. They listen, even in the other room. Don’t teach them to gossip or degrade others EVER. Don’t EVER mention weight or being fat, you instead talk about a healthy body and healthy eating. Don’t complain or whine in front of your kids. Have them look in the mirror and say things they love about themselves. Constantly tell them things that are great about them. Let them know more than once a day that you love them by saying it. Talk to them if they say negative things, see if you can figure out where it’s coming from. The media can have an impact on their attitude and optimism as well as friends, teachers, siblings and the parents.

Parents Need to teach their children how to look on the bright side. This is a learned skill. We need to teach kids to be an optimist ~ We cannot expect them to just know it!

Here are some ways you can se to teach your child to be an optimist:

Help them to Develop a Sense of humor: Try to always find something to laugh about, and as quickly as possible. This will help your child realize not to take themselves too seriously, which will come in very handy as adults.

Teach them to Play the Happy Game: Sometimes people just find themselves in a crummy mood. That’s why they say someone “woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” You have to consciously think about things that make you feel happy so you can stop feeling so down. Make a list of everything you appreciate in life, or simply things that make you happy. The good will quickly outweigh the bad. Keep it simple with things like, “Finding a good book to read, Waking up to see sunshine, getting to sleep in 30 minutes later than usual, when a stranger smiles at you, etc.”

Teach them the Importance of Getting Plenty of sleep. Help your kids understand that they really should go to bed because they will be happier and healthier for it. It’s hard to be upbeat if you don’t get enough sleep.

What’s the worst-case scenario? when you look at a situation in a more positive light, it’s easier to stomach the disappointment and move on.

This too shall pass. This saying is very true. No matter how many friends are mad at you or how upset you are that you missed the last shot to win the game, within a few weeks, all will be forgotten and there will be a new drama. This too shall pass.

Appreciate good moments when you find them. When you do find yourself sitting outside on a beautiful day, take a moment to breathe deeply and appreciate the moment. If someone does something nice for you, take the time to realize how lucky you are to have someone in your life who cares about you. These are the moments that will carry you through when you’re sad.

Start Playing the Happy Game with Your Children ~ “Let’s play the happy game! I’ll go first. It makes me happy when I wake up and see the sun shining. Your turn!”

50 + fun ideas & Activities for kids & family

Toy Swap!: Why not swap toys with your friends; your kids will love playing with all the “new toys” for the week.

Make your own Play Dough: and play dough jewellery! Let the kids help make the playdough; encourage them to make some jewellery or beads; bake them in the oven and decorate to make some fantastic gifts.
Play Dough Recipe:

2 cups plain flour

4 tablespoons cream of tartar

2 tablespoons cooking oil

1 cup salt

2 cups boiling water

Food coloring

Mix all ingredients together. Add food colouring, and (wearing gloves if you don’t want coloured hands) knead the colouring in until the texture improves and the colouring is evenly distributed. It’s ready to play with! If you would like to make jewellery or beads with the play dough, make the desired shapes and place them on a baking sheet. Bake in the oven at 100degrees for 15 minutes or so. Alternatively, put them in a sunny spot to dry for a few days.

Explore a new playground: A Little Bird has heaps of parent recommended kid friendly parks and parks with fences, so pack a picnic and explore a new park in Brisbane – click here

Dancing Time: Grab your twister matt; put some music on and use it as a dance matt. The kids will love dancing on their own “disco matt”.

Take the kids 10 pin bowling: Ask for the bumpers to be put up and the kids will have a ball; literally!

Snap: Why not explore the world through your child’s eyes by letting them snap away on the camera; remember to smile!

Make your own music: Use upside-down saucepans with wooden spoons for drums, blow across partly-filled water bottles for pipes, shake rice in a plastic container for maracas and whatever other ideas you and the kids can come up with.

Make your own wrapping paper: Get some brown butchers paper and let the kids paint and stamp to create unique and personalised wrapping paper.

Make your own movies: Get out the video camera and make your own movies! Record the older children acting out their favourite story or movie with toys as props.

Explore your own neighborhood: Before you go, make a bingo card of things you’d like to find, and don’t go home until you have spotted everything. For example: a little bird, a red car, a green mailbox, a yellow flower, a dog, a slippery slide, a postbox.

Water play (with strict supervision): Get out the jugs and bottles and tip and pour water into a large bucket or paddling pool.

It’s story time: Check out our comprehensive listing of Story and Rhyme Times in Brisbane in our A Little Bird calendar. You’ll also find free story-telling workshops and it’s a great chance for the kids to borrow some new books; remember to check out our list of recommended reads for kids.

Dress ups: Everyone get’s to dress up; don’t forget to do each others hair and strut your stuff on the runway.

Create theme days: One day can be crazy hat day, another can be a colour day; make it a green day with green clothes, paint, food etc

Make your own fridge magnets: Recycle all those business magnets by letting the kids paint or decorate them to make their own fridge magnets.

Go on a treasure hunt: Make a list of things the kids need to find and send them off with clues.

Catch public transport: Hop on the train, ferry or bus and go somewhere different with the kids.

Puppet shows are so much fun: Create your own puppets with socks, buttons, ribbons and wooden spoons or use stuffed toys and let the kids put on show.

High tea at home: Get the kids tea set out and invite some friends over for a “lil high tea”

Bubbles: Blow bubbles in the backyard; have fun with different shapes.

Cardboard boxes: So versatile; let the kids decorate their own boxes; stack them up high and watch the kids laugh as they topple over!

Facepainting: Get creative and paint each others faces.

Op Shopping: Take the kids op shopping; give them their own money and let them buy whatever they want.

Movies at home: Make your own popcorn; get the cushions out and pop on a movie the whole family can enjoy.

Gardening: Let’s get our hands dirty (check out Miss CupOtea’s blog about gardening with kids) while educating kids about the world around us by doing some gardening.

Check out School Holiday Fun Calendar on A Little Bird for great workshops for kids

Animals Encounters: Pack a picnic lunch and take the kids to your local animal park for a close encounter🙂 Check out our Animal Encounters guide.

Arts and Crafts: Encourage the kids to be creative and make a gift for someone special (grandparents, aunty’s etc) and then arrange a visit so they can give their special gifts.

Sewing: Teach the kids to sew or thread cotton reels or use lacing cards.

Make your own Soap Crayons:

1 cup grated Ivory soap

Food coloring

¼ cup of warm water

Plastic molds

In a bowl mix, soap, food coloring, and water. Stir the mixture until it thickens and becomes stiff. Remove the mix and knead until the consistency is like dough. Spoon mixture into molds and press down firmly. Place molds into freezer for about 10-15 minutes, pop out crayons and let air dry for 24 hours.
Create artwork on bath tub or body, either way it’s washable fun!

Skating: Check out your local rink and don’t forget there is also Ice Skating for something abit different.

Make your own piñata: Paper mache is messy but fun and you get to invite some kids over to have fun with the piñata!

Check out your local swimming pool and cool down on a hot day with the kids.

Take a walk: and feed the local ducks and birds; don’t forget the breadcrumbs. Check our enchanting walks guide.

Make a book: Encourage the kids to either write and draw their own book and get the younger kids to help decorate

Archeology: Bury some “artefacts” in the backyard of the garden and let the kids have fun digging them up

Camping in the backyard: You don’t need to go away to go camping; the backyard is a perfect spot to toast marshmellows, bust out the sleeping bag and invite some friends over the kids will love it!

Go for a bike ride; don’t forget the helmets.

Fly a kite: Take your kite down to the park for some fun; you could even make your own.

Make Juice: or homemade lemonade; choose the kids favourite fruits and make them into a delicious juice