We All Have Our Crazy

My crazy is my loyalty. I will be loyal to the end, no matter how evil people can be to me. Case in point, my life in 2006-2008. I moved to South Carolina with my then boyfriend and I thought things would be peachy for the rest of my life.

I was wrong.

Six months later, I had an engagement ring on my ring finger…right beside a broken pinky due to the fact I didn’t iron a polo shirt collar. I continued to live a life of lies, hiding bruises under long sleeve shirts in summer weather and standing up for the person who took me down so far.

It was easy to hide, and hide I did. I was hours away from family and surrounded by people who only knew what little I shared. I was not myself, the strong World Ready Woman produced at Chatham.

Finally it went far enough that I called the police, but the only thing that came of that was a long overdue breakup followed by months of repeat offenses until I finally cut the ties for good.

You are probably wondering why I am sharing this, and why tonight in this time of holiday cheer. It is because we all have our crazy.

You see, I was in tears an hour ago…

I was chilling after a busy day and decided it was time to buy some toys to go toward Michelle’s Christmas Crazy efforts. She buys toys each year to go to people in need…specifically women and children in domestic violence shelters. Women who are in (probably worse) situations than I was in.

The tie for me is helping to provide for women who are where I would have been if I had kept on pushing my crazy against someone else’s crazy. And so, I felt it right to pick out some toys and purchase them for the cause.

But let me get back go those tears. As I looked through the toys, I connected. There were toys for all ages. Toys for kids of every race (love! I picked out a Kira Barbie). There was a Princess Tiana costume (Arianna demanded I buy this for the kids). And then, the tears.

A Little People airplane. Mom, are you still reading and crying too? You see, my parents and I got this for Arianna to celebrate her first flight. The flight that moved her to PA after I decided to move home with my ‘ill girl following a year of dealing with pain, pregnancy, and emotional behaviors after my breaking point. In the cart it went.

For the ‘lil ones who are safe from broken homes. For the ‘lil innocent children. For the child who has to deal with painful memories of mom and dad. For me working toward getting over the crazy and healing, learning that everyone is not out to get me.

Any ‘lil bit to do something to help others and to get to a world free of domestic violence, hate, and true crazy…replaced with a world of love and fun. Arianna and I were blessed to get out and move past the crazy. Not everyone is.

If you have a few moments, read up on Christmas Crazy and consider a gift from the wish list for the kids at Center for Victims and Alle-Kiski Hope Center. Michelle will do a good kind of crazy with it, trust me.

Thank you for sharing your story. Christmas Crazy hits me hard each year. My kids have everything and these kids left everything behind in hopes of a better life. The wish list was a great addition this year.

I think it would have taken me days, weeks or even months to write such a post – kudos to your bravery to write this! There are some people who don’t have the strength to leave such situations and I feel for them because I want them to have that strength. Thanks for sharing on the SITS FB group! Personal, deep posts are my favorite to read!