"Waygook" (N) an outlier, a foreigner, an outlander

30 Before 30: A Bucket List

With January quickly coming to a close, I might be a little late with this post…lol actually, I know I’m very late with it. They started saying “better late than never” for people like me. The perpetually late and always the last one to cross the finish line, during the dreaded mile… Who came up with that idea, anyway? It’s a horrible idea. (Kind of joking?)

Time is a curious thing- it passes so fast and yet, feels so slow. It’s crazy to me that I’ve been in Korea for a year now. I feel like I just got here- like I’ve just arrived. But then, I came across my old bucket list- the one I created for myself before this transatlantic move.

I’ve accomplished so much already- nearly everything on the list- and so much more! Not going to lie, reading it gave a whirlwind of emotions: nostalgia, happiness, accomplishment, sadness and anxiety. Sadness because I know it’s all ending; and anxiety because I know I’m going back.

I do want to go back don’t get me wrong.

But I don’t want to go back to the toxic way I was living. Stuck “moving” in the hamster wheel of past events. “I can’t believe that happened…what could have been done differently?…What if something else had happened?” I was going through each day with a cumbersome load of negativity, stress, anger, cynicism, and anxiety.

Among other things, I was working extra hard at a ridiculous job I couldn’t stand, that didn’t pay well. I don’t want to go back and live life in that toxic bubble where everything that happens is terrible and dark. I can’t go back to that and I won’t. I refuse to let that happen.

In so many ways, living here has given an infinite supply of personal achievements- for which I am grateful and celebrate every day. I count my blessings, actively work towards being more positive and generally enjoy my life infinitely more than I did a mere year ago.

I feel like I’ve grown so much as a person and I only have Korea to thank for that. But it’s time to go back from whence I came. I miss my people- the ones who understand me, and the weirdness that comes along as a package deal.

I miss my family and loving boyfriend. I miss familiarity- and yet, it is with open arms that I’ve embraced and welcomed the independence that comes with the unknown…and I like love it.

Traveling has awakened my soul in every single way I can imagine and millions more in which I can’t.

I’ve realized positivity isn’t merely always being happy- it’s about how you greet every situation. It’s about how you deal with challenges in your life and your overall outlook. For me, it is an uphill battle everyday; and I’m probably going uphill in the rain on a deserted mountain, in the dark (actually happened, but we were going downhill).

Choosing to focus on positive things in the midst of a reigning shit storm, is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. When things go south, I am hardwired to slam on the gloom and doom panic button and find a good rock on which to cry…because for some reason, I’m always crying, lost in the woods and everything is terrible.

So, as I make the journey back I need to make sure I’m going forward. When I arrive in the land of the free I will be 27. Which means I only have 3 years before I turn 30…flirty and thriving, nonetheless.

So I invite you to join me on this portion of my journey which I am calling back and forth…or just simply:

30 Things Before 30:

Get in shape– I guess this is what I get for not gaining “The Freshman 15”

Vist 15 countries– I know this might be a little much, but at the end of 2016 I’ll have visited 9…so I feel like by the time I’m thirty, 15 countries is very possible!

Have a stable career– at the very least a job I don’t despise with every fiber of my being.

Develop a healthy relationship with food– because if I’m being completely (a little too) honest, I never have had this in my life.

Practice meditation daily

Drink more water

Floss more:

Have my own home

Have started and completed a masters’ degree

Finish writing and have my book published– something I truly have always wanted!

Run a marathon

Get Lasik this one seems like cheating because I already have the appointment made, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do so I’m putting it on anyway!

Get over my fear of public speaking

Swim with whale sharks

Go to platform 9 3/4– because #harrypotter

Internationally travel with my family

Internationally travel with my boyfriend

Take a cooking class in every country I visit

Take a yoga class in every country I visit

Learn Spanish

Travel with friends

See the Eiffel Tower

Have a retirement fun

Get a dog

Reconnect with old friends

Get this blog of mine popular enough that someone wants to pay me for it

Fill all the pages in my passport

Start my own business

Discover a new passion

Travel more in the United States- specifically Massachusetts.

That just about covers it. There are so many more things I could have put on here, but if I do even half of these things I will definitely arrive into my 30’s thriving…hopefully not flirty, as that would mean something didn’t quite work out as planned.

I haven’t done an official bucket list but I do have loads of goals. I keep meaning to make one and then some other grand thought takes hold of me. I WILL DO ONE! Goal making and mantras are helping me achieve internal happiness ,in the mean time. I don’t think by you going back home you will get caught up in that ‘hamster/rat wheel of life’ again. You have changed and what energy surrounds you now will attract more positive experiences and people. Take the part f Korea that freed you with you and you will never lose that drive too be -More and to be happy. It is inside all of us. Love this post. Wish I could up and go- maybe something to put on my bucket list .:D

Thanks so much! I highly advise everyone to up and go- the feeling is terrifying and exciting and when it’s over…you feel so accomplished and proud among other things; it’s unlike anything else 😁 do it! 👍❤️