Relationship Wisdom From Women Who've Been There

Nanette Varian • Executive Features Editor

The Passion Can Still Burn

"It's been 31 years and we still have 'dates' and an active sex life."

"We've been married for 41 years and we still give each other that 'special glance' across the room at parties. Thanks to menopause, our sex life has changed but we still have intimate moments . . . just a little different from when we were younger!"

"For a couple of older people, we are quite romantic and sexual. We are not married, but who needs it at our age?"

But It's Not Just About the Sex

"He developed prostate cancer, and it's the aggressive kind. I never believed I could have a satisfying intimate relationship without sex, but we do, and we grow in love and appreciation more each day."

"We are both in our 70s. We now realize that it is about companionship and caring, as well as love and sex. It is comforting to know you are there for each other."

"Based on what I read, we 'ought to' have sex more often . . . but we are happy."

It's Important to Have Your Own Space

"My sex life is more robust now than it has been for 10 years, which I find very delightful! I enjoy living alone, yet feeling connected to my boyfriend."

"He likes handicapping horses in his rare free time. I prefer hunting for sea glass and making jewelry from found objects. We have fun together but we each allow the other space for the things that individually move us."

"Been married 40 years and still like each other, have stuff to talk about, and still disagree on a lot of issues. We don't live in each other's pockets."

Communication Is Key

"Never stop talking. Withholding communication is poison to a marriage. Saying nothing is wrong when clearly there is will not solve anything. Men are basically knuckle draggers and it really is up to us to teach them to communicate."

"At the end of the day, we usually sit with a cup of coffee and share the day with each other. It just never gets old, even after almost 50 years of palling around together. It's our gift to each other."

And the Secret Ingredient Is--Laughter

"This is the first time in our marriage we are childless. We are giddy with anticipation of a new home, new job, new friends and new adventurers. This is our eighth move in that 28 years. We have learned to not sweat the small stuff; that we both have valid opinions. And that a sense of humor and great sex can get us through the worst situations."

"He makes me laugh. You must always marry someone who makes you laugh, even during the rough days."

It Isn't Always Perfect--And That's Perfectly OK

"When you feel your temperature rise, take a breath and think, 'Is what I am about to say or do going to help my marriage or hurt it?' Immature love says, 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says, 'I need you because I love you.' "

"I choose to love him every day--even when I'm not liking him much at the moment."

"I am married 38 years and have learned that there is a tremendous gift that comes with working through the rough spots. After all these years, I am still married to the person I consider to be my best friend. I can see our history reflected in his eyes."

It May Take a Few Tries to Get It Right

"I have been married twice before and experienced much during those times. Just when I decided that I would never do that again, I met Mr. Wonderful, who was truly different from my previous men. I loved his values and realized that he lived them. We combined our families--his two, my three and somebody else's (long story!). We have been married 23 years."

"This is my second marriage. The first time I married because I was old enough and it was time. This time I married because in was and am madly and passionately in love with my soul mate."

"I'm forever grateful that I finally gave a 'nice guy' a chance, I've never regretted it!"

It's Never Too Late!

"Both widowed after long and rich marriages; we met on line in 2011 and have been living together since. Happy is way too small a word to describe the joys and pleasures of everyday life. I feel so lucky to have found him. Who would have thought an old lady like me could start such a new chapter of life at 68."

"At age 85, I am in love again, newly wed and I didn't know we could have such a wonderful 'old age.' "

Next: Want to be amazed, amused, surprised--and inspired about your own life's possibilities? We asked 1,200 women 60 and older to share that they've learned about life, love, work, parenthood and finding their true path. Click here to read more!

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Comments

I love "the passion can still burn". A campfire burns, not steadily, but both explodes and simmers. At 50 & 60, sex is different than in our 40's. It amazes me that the same God who created an indescribable sunrise also designed our complex bodies to procreate - and to enjoy legitimate sex. How easy it is to know that he exists and what he is like, simply by observing this.