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He has children. I think the situation of him gushing over Johnny Depp with some guy and the other guy being completely awkward about it was made me conclude he wasn't straight. There's a big difference between acknowledging someone is good-looking and crushing on them.

I had to bite my lip because he thought Johnny Depp was a good actor when in fact he has been playing the same character since Edward Scissorhands.

It depends. If you're feeling covert hostility, it's a problem. If it's just a matter of "this is the type of a guy I couldn't see myself dating," eh, hard to fault you for that. We all have our preferences.

As a very effeminate guy, I'm sad that you feel that way, though. I think I need to go watch I Love Lucy episodes and cry as I look longingly into the eyes of Desi Arnaz.

you're effeminate? judging by your voice, pictures and things you said about yourself from your drinking habits to your attitude, i thought you were very masculine and to be honest, you come off a bit intimidating sometimes. more of the "rah rah" type of guy that goes to sports games, is loud and obnoxious. i just can't picture you being effeminate or for that matter, watching something like i love lucy. it would be really interesting to see if you actually had a soft side. i'd be shocked.

as for the whole effeminate thing, it's more of my discomfort about being gay. an effeminate gay guy puts it out there more so than a masculine guy. me, i haven't got to that point where i can let it all out yet where i am 100 percent comfortable being out. it's internalized homophobia. it's scary to me because i've been dodging the truth my whole life and i'm basically face to face with it where it's like "here it is. i have to live with it". but i'm conflicted though. i want to come out and unleash everything that i have stored up where i can hang a rainbow flag on the wall, go to the gay pride parade, go to the gay bar, go on dates, be open to a relationship and not run around on some secret agent man being scared to let the whole world know that i have a boyfriend. i want to come out and live my life as a gay man openly but i'm NOT ready yet.

i envy all you effeminate guys outthere. it seems so much easier for you guys to do whatever you have to do because you're open and out where as someone like me who is coming out has to basically kick the door open. hell, what's worse is that folks don't even believe me either because i come off to "masculine".

Originally Posted by thatgirl

It is basically just filler. It has no meaning. lol

Honestly, I don't think you should force yourself to relate to these films just because they're gay-themed. Not that you should feel "above watching them" or anything, but many of these films suffer from low-budgets, they're poorly written and they aren't really diverse in their portrayals of gay/lesbian people.

It's like when I try to watch films or shows targeted at black people and sometimes I'm just like..."cannot relate to this...at all." Just because I'm black, doesn't mean I am able to relate to all black peoples experiences.

Anyway, if you just want to start off watching gay-themed films featuring traditionally masculine characters, just focus on that and maybe that will help you feel more comfortable.

i agree. some of the gay films that i saw over the past few days looked pretty damn bad. the messed up part is that it was the same two companies that produced it and they were unheard. kind of crazy.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

Yeah indeed I can somewhat relate to this. I had a pet do that got poisoned years ago back when I was a teen and I really wish I could bring it to life

I've been meaning to watch that and Wreck-It Ralph. From what I've seen, my favorite animated film of last year was ParaNorman[/QUOTE]

Wreck-It-Ralph is really good I give huge props to ParaNorman the way they make it. Holy cow so much work put into that animated film! #D itself already takes forever to produce. Mine was Brave. How they animate that curl haird OMG

this is probably both a racist and sexist confession, but it seems like 9 times out of 10, whenever I'm stuck behind a car on the highway that's driving under the speed limit, it ends up being a black female.

I lost my shit this afternoon when I was stuck behind this woman driving 25 mph on a 50 mph highway IN THE LEFT LANE for like 5 miles.

It's geographic. If you lived here, it'd be some 85 yo man, or an illegal alien.

I confess that I had an amazing Valentine's Day...and I'm ready for it to be over so I can go on Facebook again and not read a bunch of people ranting about how much they hate it. Next year, I'll try to remember to leave the account inactive from Feb 11th thru the 15th...

Basically anyone in my Facebook is there as a survivor of a culling process that goes on about every month or two. There may not be any particular reason for why I remove someone other than that we aren't interacting at all and aren't very close.

Basically anyone in my Facebook is there as a survivor of a culling process that goes on about every month or two. There may not be any particular reason for why I remove someone other than that we aren't interacting at all and aren't very close.

Unfortunately, my Facebook is both a keep-in-touch thing AND a networking tool. I do a lot of work-related things via Facebook. I used to have two accounts - one for personal and one for work. But it got difficult and annoying to swap between the two, or post in both, so now it's consolidated into one. Basically, I just have to "hide from feed" whenever someone posts something that's excessively annoying...and hope they don't post anything really relevant. (If they do, I pull out the "gee, I guess I missed that" excuse.)

I know that it's mathematically impossible, but I routinely feel like I'm the only unattractive gay man in the entire NYC metro area.

when you aren't able to get ANY dates on okcupid or for that matter, can get anybody to fuck you, then you can say that. as far as i know from what you've said about yourself, you can't say that. i have more of a reason to say that about myself than you do as i'm having trouble finding guys on okcupid. i'm overcoming the frustration though even though i do get angry about it sometimes.

Last edited by refujiunderground; February 17th, 2013 at 01:35 PM.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

well, at least you've had sex before and been on dates. when you reach a certain age and you haven't done either, you start to think something is wrong with you on why you haven't done it or passed up opportunities or blew your chances when you did have someone that you were interested in you. it's even worse if you have low self esteem about yourself already where this just becomes a low blow. but enough of that fucking sob story talk though, it's getting me depressed. bad enough, some of the threads in here are actually pissing me off.

Last edited by refujiunderground; February 17th, 2013 at 04:10 PM.

one thing about the closet/you don't have to hurry/it will be bad tomorrow/so brother, don't you worry

there should be a service where you pay someone to go out on a date with you and afterwards, they'll tell you everything you did wrong

I get first dates ok enough, but since breaking up with my ex last spring, I couldn't tell you the last time I had a second date with a guy who was looking for anything more than friendship... I seem to get good marks on personality (funny, good conversationalist, etc), so I'm left to assume that I'm horribly ugly.

I'm kind of over the whole dating scene. I don't care to do the dance or play the silly romance games anymore. Hell, at this point, I would marry my roomie just for the tax break. I think after being stuck as manager with a crazy woman tending bar the past few weekends in the morning/afternoon, she can't shut the fuck up about her children and it makes me want to be single. I could rant further on her but no need. However, I will take solace in the fact that she thinks it's sexy that I haven't shaven in five days.

there should be a service where you pay someone to go out on a date with you and afterwards, they'll tell you everything you did wrong.

I actually have offered to do this for a chronic one-dater. For free, since he's kind of an online friend. We never have done it since we don't live near each other, but I wouldn't mind doing it if he thought he could handle the critique.

I actually have offered to do this for a chronic one-dater. For free, since he's kind of an online friend. We never have done it since we don't live near each other, but I wouldn't mind doing it if he thought he could handle the critique.

Lex

I think the main reason people fail on the first date is that they give away way too much personal details.

I think the main reason people fail on the first date is that they give away way too much personal details.

I think that might be problematic on a first date, but certainly not a deal-breaker. I think some people get a bit obsessive about faults, and can start harping on them from the outset. There's nothing wrong with being at peace with them, or even making mention of them, but they shouldn't be the focus of the conversation. "Here are all the reasons somebody might not like me."

I just think first dates should be about finding your common ground. Finding topics you can chat about comfortably. And unless somebody has the same issues you have, and feels the same about them, it's tough to truly bond there. Yeah, I can empathize about feeling ugly or whatever, but I don't know if "here's someone I can talk to about feeling that other people think I'm unattractive" is really somebody I'd latch onto.

there should be a service where you pay someone to go out on a date with you and afterwards, they'll tell you everything you did wrong

I get first dates ok enough, but since breaking up with my ex last spring, I couldn't tell you the last time I had a second date with a guy who was looking for anything more than friendship... I seem to get good marks on personality (funny, good conversationalist, etc), so I'm left to assume that I'm horribly ugly.