This is the story of my "journey" dealing with cancer, learning how to walk again after losing my hip to the disease and the everyday battles of learning how to cope and live being disabled and a Christian. Follow my STEPS OF FAITH.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

I just can't stop....

Family, Friends and those who are following me because a friend referred you, I apologize for yet another long period of time without writing. Since November, I have been mentally and spiritually assaulted. What exactly does that mean?

Well, for me it means that I just can't stop crying. Every time I try to write about my story or the current events of my medical time in California now, I can't get past a couple of words before my heart sinks and my eyes well up with tears. Even now as I attempt to talk about it here with you now, I am choking up. I have been so strong in the Lord for so many years, that I can hardly believe that I feel so broken and alone right now. Why is that?

My take on it is that I have to go back a little and remember to completely rely on the Lord. At some point, I stopped fully relying on Him and forgot Who it is that has sustained me for all this time.

I know that means it is time to get back to my grass roots and put my complete faith and trust in the Lord and not rely on my own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;"

If even for a short time, it is good to remember where your strength REALLY comes from.

3 comments:

My very dear long-time friend, I'm sooo very sorry that this has been so immensly tough on you. Cancer seriously SUCKS! This disease can suck every ounce of strength and faith you have out of you. I'm praying for us all, you, your Mom, your Dad, Mitch and me. I don't think we will ever fully understand God's plan until the time comes - until then...hold faith tight, that's all we have.