Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Drive Thru Rejections

Here's something. The blog BookEnds, LLC--A Literary Agency will fast track your rejection via a blog post. This one is entitled Pitch Critiques Round 18 (suggesting 17 other rounds?). To me, this is like driving through McDonalds for a quickie burger with cheese. Here's a little taste of what you can expect over there:

Pitch: Astrologer Di Darwin solves with a timed horoscope chart the murder of an old woman who chokes to death on a boiled Maine Lobster. Susie's amateur sleuth mystery.

Agent Response: The idea of an astrologer amateur sleuth interests me, but the writing would ultimately result in a rejection. Although the boiled Maine Lobster sounds hysterical, so I might consider it again. Nope, I would reject.

I adore my latest little press release. I sent it to twenty thousand (20,000) US Publishers, UK Publishers, US Agents, UK Agents, Movie Agents, Producers, and Studios, along with sundry Media Guys, Publicists, Teachers and Bloggers and didn't hear an intelligible peep from any of the totalitarian twits...which exactly proves my point: Judeo-American fascism kicks every other kind of fascism's ass nine days a week. Onward, Christian soldiers. Might makes right. Don't ask, don't tell. Arbeit Macht Frei. The glory that was the USA is of another day. You think it's funny but it's snot. Ooh-rah.

Ginny Good (ISBN: 0972635750) is a narrative nonfiction account of what really went on in San Francisco in the sixties...and a bunch of other stuff nobody knows. It was the best, brightest, most beautiful work of literary art published anywhere in the world so far this century but nobody got to read it 'cause it didn't get any hype from the money grubbing media and entertainment ghouls who run the permanently closed propaganda gulag. Oh, well. I just got all the rights back from the publisher and made it into a free e-book and a free audio book. Yippee!

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

And here's a link to a short sample chapter from the free fifteen-hour audio version of the same gorgeous book.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch35m.mp3

If you want a copy of the whole thing on .mp3 CDs, let me know and I'll gladly send you a copy. Thanks. G.

Interesting. I kind of hate it & like it at the same time. I wonder if they let people know they are putting their work up? It seems like a violation of confidentiality if there is such a thing in the publishing market.

On the other hand, if the writer is a willing participant, I see real value in it. Mrs. Snark was great and a carry-on blog is a great opportunity for further learning.

Also, Gerard is da' bomb. He started all the revolution to dethrone the crowned princes and princesses of publishing. Many writers have found his blog www.everybodywhosanybody.com to be a great resource, including me. Check it out. The pubs and editors went crazy when he put it up, which was fun.

Judeo-American fascism is a million times more pervasive and murderous than "Islamofascism" or any other kind of fascism ever dreamed of being...it has nothing to do with Jews and everything to do with money. You two-bit little dickweeds are falling all over yourselves to get book deals that will prove only that you've become an acceptable Judeo-American fascist the same way Leni Riefenstahl fell all over herself to get to make Nazi movies. Good luck. Give my regards to Joseph Goebbels when you get what you think you want. G.

Me, Tweedle-dee. I ain't complaining; I'm proud of the fact that I didn't hear a peep. Are you kidding? If I'd heard anything from the scaredy-cat little dingbats I'd figure I was doing something wrong. Your poor brain is so squeaky-clean it must hurt to think a rational thought. G.

The "publishing world" is beyond f***ed. There are all sorts of exquisite reasons for websites like this one. There hasn't been a single decent sentence published anywhere in the world since 1984 (well, other than all of mine, of course). Whose fault is that? Not yours. Guys like this anonymous twit who wants you to "erase" my comment, that's who. If some big publisher wants to publish your stuff that's an ironclad guarantee that it sucks. Now if only my name were "Gerald." G.

Rules of the Game

4) Be nice to one another. The world is already overpopulated with asses.

Guess What?

After 15 years of rejections (most of them posted here along with all the rejections you've sent me over the years), my novel is getting published by a literary press. Little third-gendered me will soon have a book you can read for yourself and see if the hundreds of rejections were misguided or not. For more on the matter, read this post and this one too.

People Magazine Picks Miracle Girls

What the What? (This is actually for real.)

ew.com blog review

"Failure is the New Funny. Whether you're a writer ... or a bookworm ... Literary Rejections on Display is worth checking out."

Huff Po Compliment

"A highly entertaining blog."

The Millions Assesses

"An answer to what to do with your rejections: throw them away, but first, complain about them on the internet!"

Gawker Gawks LROD

"A reminder of the competitive pressures that help drive some authors to start plagiarizing and making things up."

GALLEYCAT Chimes In

"Excellent blog."

The Boston Phoenix Rises

"Might we suggest whiling away the hours with Literary Rejections On Display? We've been hooked for the last couple of weeks..."

Psych Today Puts LROD On The Couch

"An author who, like the rest of us, experiences many more rejections than acceptances."

Blogher Offers a Female Nod

"And since something isn't really something until there's a blog about it, I give you Literary Rejections on Display."

Poets & Writers Questions LROD

"Isn't it part of the writer's job to learn from--rather than reject--rejection?"

HTML GIANT Confesses

"I am sort of addicted to this site. I go through phases: I check it regularly, then I stop myself and ignore it for several months. Then I remember it again and sift through its wreckage."

The Village Voice Bitches About LROD

"Deliberately composed of unpublished individuals who wear their rejection slips as badges of integrity."

Cape Cod Times Gets the Joke

"Caschetta’s wit sparkles in “Literary Rejections on Display,” a humorous and intelligent look at the literary world"