Due to the porting over of the topic from the old board, it's starting to have blank pages. So the ever popular Advice Corner has moved to this brand new spiffy thread.

A question was asked, from RUI, in the last thread. It was: What do you do with an unwanted bowl of cereal?

Well first, you would have to question your motivation in pouring said bowl of cereal. What was your meaning behind it? What caused you to do it? But as for the aftermath, when it's unwanted - take it to your local Humane Society, where if it's uneaten within two days, it's euthanized.

_________________One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

Let me say up front: I tend to not believe in ghosts. But, in this case I would say:

Sell your house and all your belongings. Move to Eastern East Timor and burn all your clothes and roll in the dirt for 4 hours a day for 4 weeks. Maybe, MAYBE then this spirit will decide to leave. The sign is a hoagie delivered to you on the second day before a full moon.

_________________One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

I think my cat and dog are having an affair. When one goes outside to take a leak, the other mysteriously disappears too. How do you feel about inter-species relationships?

Very truly yours,

AtLeastLetMeWatch

Well, I have nothing against interracial relationships. My first wife and I were an interracial couple. I was human, and hahahahahahaha, that's too funny.

But anyway - I wouldn't be too worried. Cats and dogs worry each other. Maybe the cat is hanging out somewhere else, shooting pool, swimming, baccarat, that kind of thing, relaxing while the dog is out, and vice-versa. If they are having a relationship, try to break it up gently. A hose works well.

_________________One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

_________________Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...

Thanks dude, knew I could count on you. Now, if only I could grab the head with these tongs.....

_________________Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...

I find myself addicted to advice columns in newspapers and on the internet, finding happiness and laughter in the misery of others.

Does this make me a bad person?

Concerned in Cucamonga

What the Germans call Shedanfraud, or Sheudenfraude, or whatever (apparently I'm not good at translating shit), is what the internet was created for. You can sit behind a computer screen and make fun of people all day, and nobody will know how you really feel! Nobody knows that I'm only 13, having started on here when I was 9. It's fun to pretend!

_________________One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

I happen to know for a fact that Nooms is lying about the tapeworm. It's not 22 feet long as he states, but rather a mere 19 feet, 3 inches. In other words, not a big deal. I've read on the internet that 19 foot plus tapeworms are quite common and nothing to be alarmed about. He's lying because its his way of getting attention, of having to be at the center of everything. What can we do about this?

_________________I can't tell when you're telling the truth.>I'm not. How do I know anything you've said to me is...>You don't.

I happen to know for a fact that Nooms is lying about the tapeworm. It's not 22 feet long as he states, but rather a mere 19 feet, 3 inches. In other words, not a big deal. I've read on the internet that 19 foot plus tapeworms are quite common and nothing to be alarmed about. He's lying because its his way of getting attention, of having to be at the center of everything. What can we do about this?

How do you solve a problem like Noomies? How do you hold the sun and pin it down? A flibbertygibbet, a will-o-the-wisp, a clown? Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him.

So yeah, that's a fucking hard question.

_________________One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

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