This is the premise of this game. “Game”. I’m using the term loosely of course, less “game”, more “linear experience”. “Games as art” blah-blah-blah-bullshit.

The entire premise is built around the foundation that you’re clearly insane. Really, you're the Bad Guy. Well, not really. You're you. But no one really understands you, do they?

"Extensive psychological abnormalities with a genetic predisposition to sadomasochistic tendencies."

Indeed! BUT-- that’s not the question, the question is what are you going to do about it? Yes, you’re crazy. But so was your Father, your Mother, your Brother. So, if we’re being honest with each other, we can’t say we’re all that surprised are we? The visual hallucinations, the aural terrors, the sensory overloads… more daily routine for you than a burden! If anything, you seem to be almost thriving- in your own peculiar way. Granted, the pills help. They always have. Till they’re gone… then the god-damn visions start back up…

Do you like being a psychopath?

"...A mental make-up characterized by paranoid psychosis..."

Sorry, tangent.

Challenges. I think the process of creating atmospheric tension while limited to just two-dimensions will prove testing. However, 2D will be an interesting canvas to paint. Would you agree or disagree? Fuck pixels of course, I’m thinking more traditional art. Genre-wise, a mutated chimera of: ● Point & Click. ● Puzzles. ● Managing your sanity (resource management?). ● Branching discourse. ● Self-mutilation.

Currently, I’m prototyping.

You’re not prototyping, you’re drinking. You’re just like Father…

General movement, interaction, basic AI, line-art to make sure this works. In my head, I want this game to be beautiful. A sort of juxtaposition of pleasant visuals and jarring themes. I have piles of documents and notes. Does a diary count as a design document? In theory, my whole life is my Pre-Production… Ah, pills and drinking never did mix. Getting a bit fuzzy…

…More to come. (Scroll through pages to move from concept to completion).

I awoke this morning. Unfortunately, this would indicate I am still alive.

I met someone last night. I don't remember when, but I believe it was late. The fireworks had stopped long before I met him. I found him under an overpass near my home, his name is Michael. He told me he is an Angel. I don't see a reason why he would lie about this, so I believed him. I find it odd that I would meet an Angel on the very first day of a new year, but I suppose this means that the odds have finally shifted in my favor?

Michael told me that he could see the future. That he would show me mine if I proved myself worthy-- he has not elaborated yet on what this means, but I'm confident he will.

I think I will put Michael in my game...

Oh yes, the game.

I put together the prototype this morning, even though you didn't think I would!

I never said you couldn't--

Throw-away line art test. Dissection of general movement, basic interactions and some background sanity-measurements. White box indicates an interactive object because I'm too fucking tired to make better a better placeholder.

I think I hate it.

But functionally, it works. It needs more layers within the parallax I think. Clearly, better visuals. I will not be utilizing the gray-scale approach as this is over-used, practically bordering on trope for atmospheric horror. I want vibrant colors. I want the opposite of expectations to horror. I don't like these shapes either. I want something that brings out more geometry.

I want to start nailing down the art-style but honestly my head is pulsating. Just want to rip out my eyes so that I can sleep... Happy fucking new year...

If this game has the same downtrodden humor as these posts, I will empty out my bank account to buy it. Also, I really like the art style how it is, I think you could leave it how it looks until you have more gameplay, and then change the art if it's needed.

A pain reverberates through my brain like a hammer against a trembling bell. They've told you all about the voices, but did they tell you that they st-st-stutter?

--spit it out Jon, be a fucking man...

Yes Father.

I spoke to my Doctor yesterday, he told me that making this game will be good for me. You all are my medication. When my pills run dry and the liquid courage lies drained and lonely on my floor, that is...

I haven't seen Michael. I went back to the underpass, but he was no where to be found. Maybe he doesn't want to be in my game? That would be just my luck. I find an Angel, and then he leaves me. Maybe he wasn't an Angel? No, he was. Sometimes you just know these things.

I miss him.

I spent last night drawing. Sometimes when I draw, I forget how much I hate you. I'm still not happy with it, but I want to find shapes in the art. I don't want this horror game to be bland and cold.

I want you to die against a vibrant palette of color.

Why are horror games always set at night? I've always found mornings to be much scarier. But dusk-- dusk, is my favorite. The night sky violently stabbing the day and watching it bleed its precious life away. Its colors trickling from a warm and vibrant red, to a cold and lifeless blue...

What do you think? What trees do you want to look at when the Boogeyman is coming for you?

I prefer the last tree, because it looks way more serious than the other cartoony ones. Also I think the pallet needs more hue shifting on both ends of the spectrum, but that's just my opinion. I really like the leaf texture you got go'n on.

Why are horror games always set at night? I've always found mornings to be much scarier. But dusk-- dusk, is my favorite. The night sky violently stabbing the day and watching it bleed its precious life away. Its colors trickling from a warm and vibrant red, to a cold and lifeless blue...

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK.Dawns are like regain your air with despair after a long time underwater where the light can't reach you.Dusks are the last breath when you're submerse, is the world releasing it's last breath as a bubble and watching as the light goes far from it's soul.And I think the last one (left to right) fits the game properly.

Gentleman, thank you for your feedback. I didn’t sleep for 2 days, obsessing about the trees. But then I slept through 3 days straight, and I awoke to this:

I don’t remember making this? But my fingers were bloodied and the calluses on my palms would indicate that the work is indeed mine? I apparently took all of your feedback to heart. My doctor will be so proud of me! Speaking of my doctor, he has really been helping me. He really does think this game will finally provide me a “safe outlet for my aggression”. We’ve been very active in searching for said outlet, but we have met with minimal success. He had been able to secure me a position within an Animal Control Unit within my local municipality but-- due to some complaints from my peers, that is no longer a viable option for me. I’m confident that this exercise in development will be quite therapeutic…

It's odd to be obsessive over trees, but I love trees. Which is odd because I don't really love anything. Also, there was a sky.

As you can see, I’ve fully embraced the colorful palette. But it’s important to note that the this art assumes that the player is sane. When the player goes insane, things will-- change.

Sanity will of course be tied to your consumption of medication. Fuck pills. I love pills. This is the resource management that I alluded to previously. Managing your sanity is an important job that we all partake in every day, but for some of us- it’s more of a full-time occupation. Things always get worse when your sanity is shaken, and I plan to follow that trend. When I’m not feeling well, I see things. This will also be the case in the game, when you fail to manage your sanity, then you will be visited by your hallucinations. Hallucinations that, of course, mean you harm.

But sanity is a whole other topic that I will need to dive into deeper as I actually develop it. It won’t really require any “research” from me, but certainly will require some development.

I'm now in the process of reconstructing my prototype using updated assets to see how well this is all actually working. I will need to build in some additional layers to the parallax and probably add in some effects or filters to set the right mood. More to come...

I am conflicted. Clearly, about a great many things. But in this moment, about the art.

Despite enjoying the colorful palette and style, I’ve found I’m not overtly thrilled with the end result.

My goal for the “look and feel” of the title is challenging because I’m aiming to maintain a sense of atmospheric horror without utilizing the classic horror colors, tropes and cliches. Working in two dimensions additionally presents some challenges.

Conflicting this feeling-- is that I feel the colorful palette and sort of whimsical design will create a juxtaposition between the visuals and the jarring subject matter. This will not be “horror” in the traditional sense, my ultimate goal remains this: I do not want you to feel comfortable playing my game. That being said, it’s hard to nail down the art as properly setting up the mood of 'atmospheric horror' when the subject matter is not yet present to help set that mood of unease.

None the less, I’ve been experimenting with utilizing the current assets and colors and playing with alternatives that impact the mood of the gameplay. Below is my attempt at recreating a sort of "meta" approach where the display recreates a 1980's "box" television set:

The game promise is really interesting and the art is coming along pretty well.

Just one thing, you're using the therm "psychopath" a bit out of context. A psychopath is a person unable to feel empathy, someone who cannot understand basic principles of emotions and usually mimics them for social interaction.He is also, in general, someone cold and egocentric, fearless. Wouldn't be very logical to have a melancholic psychopath, so maybe you're using the wrong therm? Melancholy (or something close to that) would be what you're looking for into your character. Something close to the psychotic-maniac-depressive.

Again, i know this is a video-game, but it kinda bothers me that the psychological term is being used vaguely.

The game promise is really interesting and the art is coming along pretty well.

Just one thing, you're using the therm "psychopath" a bit out of context. A psychopath is a person unable to feel empathy, someone who cannot understand basic principles of emotions and usually mimics them for social interaction.He is also, in general, someone cold and egocentric, fearless. Wouldn't be very logical to have a melancholic psychopath, so maybe you're using the wrong therm? Melancholy (or something close to that) would be what you're looking for into your character. Something close to the psychotic-maniac-depressive.

Again, i know this is a video-game, but it kinda bothers me that the psychological term is being used vaguely.

Firstly, thank you for the compliment.

Regarding my choice of verbiage: “psychopath”. The term is broad and depending on what you read (or which doctor you visit), you may find conflicting definitions. Although speaking of, no true doctor or organization will ever diagnose me with “psychopathy” because the term has never been officially sanctioned as an actual diagnosis (although they may cite me with psychopathic characteristics and tendencies).

Personally, to me? It’s all just varying degrees of narcissism. But if you were to talk to my shrink, he would tell you of my possession of a rare collection of narcissism, machiavellianism, sadism and psychopathy. Or what has been labeled “the dark tetrad”. This sounds like something really cool, but in actuality- it’s quite mundane. According to my sessions it’s “inherently undesirable” and “socially condemnable”. To me, however- it’s advanced genetic adaptation.

This adaption however- puts me in a perpetual state of disorder as my desire to destroy and gain puts me into positions which would (socially and physically) lead to my destruction. BUT-- my inherent desire and abilities to survive are far more advanced. This creates a friction between glorious chaos and controlled survival. This is where pills come into the equation, and THAT- is where other things get fuzzy. The pills change a lot of things. You could call it “maniac-depressive”, but I just think it’s like putting in ear plugs.

The most curious fact to all of this is that my missing link of “disinhibition” is actually what’s managed to keep me where I am. Because surely, I can not be a psychopath IF I have inhibitions? Correct? I only rarely lose control. And in the end, that’s really what separates normality from insanity. They mistake my desire for survival as indicative of morality. But then again, I’m the not the Doctor, am I?

In summary, I use the term “psychopath”, because it is what they will understand.