i'm free i'm free i'm free i'm free i'm free!!!!!

Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2003

Yesterday things went well. Very well. He’s a little ticked off that I am now in full custody of his laptop though. He and his wh*re were calling here non-stop all afternoon yesterday. I suppose she wants her t*t pictures back. lol

We are officially divorced. I spoke to him today and he was threatening me with false threats, saying he could go to the police blah blah. Until I mentioned he has his t*t and a*s parade happening on the same laptop as his son’s kiddie software. He said that Bucky doesn’t play on that computer, and god lets hope he never did. Ack!!!

He called me a c*nt for not giving back his laptop. To which I replied, “no a real c*nt would have plastered those pictures all over your apartment complex, jobplace, car etc.” He said, “I wanted to be friends!” To which I replied, “we are friends, this replaces the computer my dad left me in his will that mysteriously disappeared. We’re all squared away now, even steven. All done. All of the sudden there was deathly silence on the phone and he returned to his once again calm reasonable self. He forgets just how much sh*t he did to me. He said I deserved all of his lies because I was irrational. I said he deserved losing something that mattered to him (ie his company software and contacts etc…) because after-all I got nothing financially from all of his business endeavors that I funded when I was the only one employed at different points in our marriage. It was back and forth and back and forth and then it came down to one simple thing. The only thing I have to say to him anymore.

“We have a child, he’s great, we did one thing right, I have no interest in destroying you and taking him out in the process, we can be civil and agree to disagree and call it even now, now that you know what it’s like to trust someone explicitly and get burnt. I will sign a notarized letter saying you paid me for the utilities when you provide a notoraized letter from your girlfriend saying I paid restitution and everyone’s even on that basis. We can trade our child back and forth and put all of our anger in the past and become better people in the end. I don’t hate you “ex” I simply don’t like you anymore. As far as your laptop if you want it back, you and I can negotiate a price and that’s far better than what you did with my Dad’s computer. It funded your affairs and I never saw a dime nor had any choice.

He got silent. He said, “we’ll talk about that, in the meantime get your paperwork notarized and I’ll do the same.”

*wipes hands*

That went well eh??? LOL Besides, I can easily hand back the laptop and that doesn’t change the fact that it’s well documented that he had that sh*t on a laptop that my child does in fact utilize. Nor does it change the fact that those pictures are forever in my possession. And no, I don’t get off on them, they are rather disgusting and vulgar.

Oh, one other thing, when he brought up my clinical depression believing he can take my child away from me over that, I brought up his nerve condition and the fact that he’s on epileptic drugs that can cause drowsiness and brain issues, he immediately shut up. We are on the same playing field now. He’s no farther ahead than I. We need to call a truce and move on. When I said that he said, “fine.” When I asked if he could prove without a shadow of a doubt to a court that he was healthy and able he didn’t answer. I can do that. I have a shrink’s report already stating such. And yah that shrink is highly educated and knowledgeable.

Furthermore, I quit my job this morning. I went on an interview elsewhere this morning. I got nothing but praise from my former employer. I will get a high recommendation all the way around. I am moving on with my life. Bigger and better things.

I am no longer afraid of change like I once was. I was so happy and relieved yesterday to be done with it. To be past it legally.

Yesterday afternoon, Rick and I laid down on the bed fully clothed and held each other and took a nap. In those moments right before I fell off to sleep I felt so safe, so secure, and so empowered by my new freedom. I felt happy. Happy, something that I haven’t felt in a long time. Rick and I have been through so much in a short period of time, and I love him for enduring with me, hanging in there with me and overlooking my hysteria during this time. He has been and still is a godsend.

This mornings interview went well. It’s a software company, the job is a good one. The office is a funky highly updated cool looking place. The people were friendly. The atmosphere was perfect. I am excited and hopeful. Right now Chloe is jumping all over me like a wild girl who wants to play and I want some sunshine and I want to take a deep breath and delve into my new life.

This morning I dressed up in my killer “you will hire me” black skirt. I pressed my wrinkled yesterday thoughts and I kicked a*s. I then went to my former employer and handled it right on target and I have no regrets anywhere. Karma….I remember her and she and I will be friends.

This is the first time in 12 years that I haven’t had a job or a husband. Go figure, I’m so happy it’s oozing out my face right now. Sometimes you have to be brave, be strong, have faith in yourself and overlook the fools that will try to hold you back.

To my former employer, if by chance you are reading this, you guys truly rock and I wish you well with the company as you reorganize and weather the current storm in the industry. Thank you for everything!

To those that have had me in their thoughts with happy outcome wishes, thank you. For those that should be watching cops instead, this is not the Fox Channel.

Have a great day, I know I will.

Special thanks to Rick for sitting on that bench with me, for being there for me all the way to the end. I love you more than I can ever find a way to tell you, but I will always try.

-PoeticaL

* editorial note: all bad words were replaced with *’s for Karen, who prayed for me. Thank you!