The New Hillary Clinton – Rapper, Poet, Comedian

SAN FRANCISCO – Speaking to a women’s business group yesterday, recently-freed-from-the-wilds Hillary Clinton workshopped her clever new mantra for 2017. She delighted the audience with jokes, rhymes, and card tricks (race card, sexist card, etc.).

The highlight of the performance speech was when Hillary broke into a rap – accompanied by a sick beat – and unveiled her new empowering motto, titled “Resist, Insist, Persist, Enlist.” The women attending the speech thought it was the most profound thing they had ever heard.

Mrs. Clinton admitted she had worked on her rap during the last 4 months she’d spent in the woods, in self-exile. She said she didn’t want to go public with her new mantra until she and her aides had come up with something that rhymed and had a hook. Something the kids could identify with.

So, going forward in 2017, Hillary Clinton’s mantra for not only women but all Democrats, goes like this:

“We must resist, insist, persist, enlist. But also stay pissed, get my gist, shake that fist, consider yourself dissed, cause we won’t subsist, or just exist, not when we friends with jihadists. Give this sister an assist, drink sunkist, and if you got ‘rhoids better see a proctologist. We won’t be dismissed, when I twist my wrist better check my blacklist, it’s up on craigslist. Now it’s time I desist, God I hate nativists, but I gotta go see my doc about a sebaceous cyst. Peace, sisters! Word to your mother.”

And, once again, America realized it dodged a bullet on November 8, 2016.