Biting the hand of Project Fear

Vote Nob Orders for nobs

While most of the media keeps up the currency naw naw naw nyah nyah nyah, there’s been a wee spot of love bombing plaintively pledging its troth. Scotland got a luvvie letterette today. Now we can feel dead important because two hundred celebs have taken a few seconds out of their busy schedules and faaaaabulous lives to put their names to a paragraph long letter that someone else wrote for them. It’s just heartlifting to see such commitment. How can anyone possibly complain about the need for foodbanks when we’ve got such immense compassion to nourish our anonymous little souls. Simon Cowell has noticed us, how many beans is that worth?

Mind you, the paean of love to Scotland might have been a teeny bit more convincing if David Starkey didn’t figure amongst the list of signatories. Davie, for those of you lucky enough never to have encountered his oeuvre, described Scotland as a ‘feeble little country’ and Rabbie Burns as ‘a deeply boring provincial poet’. Admittedly I didn’t recognise a lot of the names, not moving in slebby circles. There was someone revelling in the name Jock Stirrup, which I had thought was a groin support for equestrian types until I looked him up on Wikipedia. Apparently he used to be a heid bummer in the RAF. And for some of the names which were recognisable it would probably have been better if they hadn’t been recognisable at all. Like David Starkey.

Scotland has no currency, no money, it’s a huge financial risk (because of course, we’re a basket case), it’s cursed with resources it can’t possibly manage by itself and which generate huge amounts of paperwork, and is totally dependent upon the goodwill and largesse of the kind hearted Westminster Parlie. But they love us because we make them feel better about themselves, we’ve got gorgeous scenery, and we provide a tartan splash of colour that helps British nationalism pretend it’s not a form of nationalism at all.

Still, it was awfie nice of the two hundred slebs. It would maybe have been nicer if they’d signed an open letter to the Westminster Parliament telling them that they’re a bunch of unaccountable wasters whose self-interest and short-termism have turned the entire UK into internal colonies of the financial sector in the City of London, but it’s likely that our elected and unelected unrepresentatives would have slung them a deifie. Which is more or less what the average voter in Scotland will do on hearing a plea from Simon Cowell. The referendum now gives the rest of us a chance to vote Simon off, who’s going to resist the chance to do that? You’re not going to bootcamp Simon, you’re getting the boot.

The letter – well, I say letter, a paragraph doesn’t count as a letter. It’s more of a postcard – asks Scotland “not to leave this shared country of ours” and asks us to remember “the bonds of citizenship”. And there’s the problem right there. This is not a shared country, and I don’t mean that Scotland is a different country from England – a self-evident truism which only needs to be explained to some of the more obtuse below the line commentators in publications like the Guardian. The UK is not a shared country, it’s not a sharing country. In the UK a small number enjoy access to wealth and privilege at the expense of the majority. That’s not sharing, it’s dispossession. For the majority of its citizens the UK is not a nation, it’s a state of alienation.

Bonds of citizenship sound lovely and cosy too. Like fur lined handcuffs. The bonding only goes one way. Non-slebby types, those of us who are not rich or well connected, are bound to put up with whatever crap, whatever political wheeze, that gets thrown at us. And there’s bugger all we can do about it. Where were the bonds of citizenship when a diabetic ex-serviceman had his benefits sanctioned and died due to lack of food and a fridge that no longer kept his insulin usable. There’s not much in the way of bonds of citizenship for the mother who walked seven miles to a foodbank so she could feed her weans. That’s not a bond, that’s bondage.

It’s all very well to ask others to keep sharing when you’re one of the ones on the receiving end of the largesse. The two hundred slebs don’t put forward any political solutions to the ever widening social and economic chasms which disfigure the entire UK. Instead they’re making a call for inaction to the only people who are proposing to do something about this lamentable state of affairs. It’s like Labour’s suicide pact, sorry – Labour’s plea for workers’ solidarity – only with BAFTA nominations. Stay with us Scotland, so we can emote about you. Vote Nob Orders for nobs.

The luvvie love bomb was organised by Dan Snow, whose faither in law is Gerald Grosvenor the Duke of Westminster. The Grosvenor family own the 100,000 acre Reay Forest estate in Sutherland. 100,000 acres is a lot of land, it works out at over 156 square miles, almost the same size as West Lothian. And it’s all owned by Dan’s da-in-law. Of course the gross imbalance in Scottish land ownership isn’t Dan’s responsibility, but maybe if Dan Dan the History Man had a wee look at the history of his faither in law’s holiday home he might be a bit more understanding of the reasons why so many in Scotland think we’d be better off governing ourselves.

The Reay Forest estate, and other enormous Highland estates like it, are often what luvvie types think of when they think of Scotland, a vast tract of picturesque wilderness without any people in it. It used to have people in it, but the Dukes of Sutherland, whose family the Grosvenors bought the estate from in 1904, had handily cleared away the unsightly and distinctly unpicturesque Gaelic speaking peasantry. The area around the Reay Forest estate was cleared in the early 1800s. The people ended up on the emigrant ships, or moved to the growing slums around the foundaries and mines where today their descendants walk miles to find a food bank, or face eviction because they can’t pay the bedroom tax. In this best of both worlds, this perfect union, poverty and dispossession is the only constant. We’re told this is the best we can aspire to in this rich land.

And that Dan, is why so many of us are voting Yes. We want out of this cycle of despair, we’re tired of being cynical, we’ve lived long enough with alienation. But although we are alienated from the Westminster Parliament, we are not alienated from each other. We’re cynical about the motives of the powerful and connected, we’re not cynical about our hopes and aspirations for dignity, equality, and justice. But we’ve learned that things will only change if we change them ourselves.

So don’t send us a wee postcard begging us not to do it because some comfortable and connected people might suffer a pang of personal regret. Do something useful, Dan, do something unselfish. Support us.

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66 comments on “Vote Nob Orders for nobs”

Beautifully written as always. Your words always emote me, thanks for that. I don’t suppose you fancy writing these luvvies an open letter suggesting that if they love Scotland so much why not send a few grand north to help stock our food banks? See how much they care then!

Sad to say it has been ever thus, ever since the self same Quisilings, we used to call them Traitors sent William Wallace to Edward of England to die. Ms Baillie cannot be counted as one, she is English by birth and unlike so many other’s in this country she has no interest other than that of Party to Nationality or Country.

Dan Snow is it? Simon Cowell, Dame this and that………….
When they understand what it is like to have to attend an ATOS interview and then to be denied any benefits for 10 months whilst they check you out……..then I might listen to their lovey dovey wee note.
When they come up to visit the central belt of Scotland and see us struggling to keep our dignity then I might just think about replying to their wee note.
But for the time being I will ignore this ridiculous pathetic wee note and get on with my survival.

Written with wit and wisdom in equal measure . Don’t think that a collection of C Listers and has beens will swing it for the Nobs.
Nevertheless it’s mildly annoying we are thought of as gullible enough to follow the
patronising “heartfelt pleadings” of an assortment of yesterday’s people. Remind me , which country did Scott Hastings & John Jeffries represent at the highest level in rugby ?

I agree that this would make an excellent riposte to that manufactured effort signed by (at least some) people who ought to know better. What a piece of cheek! Most of these people know nothing at all about the issues facing us in this referendum and yet they had the impertinence to add their signatures. Some on that list were outright lying since they have been forthright on several occasions about their contempt for Scotland – not only Starkey but Rod Liddle and George Galloway certainly doesn’t show much affection for Scotland either.

Perhaps there were some who signed in the same shallow, thoughtless way they might when a card is passed round at the office for someone they hardly acknowledged or cared about but still signed with a smug and careless flourish. “Never really knew the old buffer and the sentiments on the card don’t really mean anything so I’ll sign with everyone else.”

Presumably we are entitled to assume that they all approve of Trident on the Clyde, food banks, increasing austerity for the poor, illegal wars, the ravages visited on the public services? There is, of course, many an unreconstructed old Thatcherite on that list who would shamelessly accept those effects of government policy – but Jo Brand? Did someone like that seriously consider the company they were keeping or was it just a favour for the Labour establishment? Either way, I seriously doubt that Scotland’s future was uppermost in her mind or on that of any one else on that list.

Anyway, I don’t feel like being polite. If you chose to be in that company then you should be counted with them. If you are going to have the effrontery to interfere in a country’s democratic choice you should have the diligence to acquaint yourself with all the facts and try to understand. Signing that letter was an empty and cynical gesture from people who have never demonstrated any concern for the people of Scotland. Their real concern is for the establishment which has served them well and for their own position in it.

156 sq miles? That’s almost the size of Arran, somebody probably owns that as well. That list of people truly represents the ‘yah Scotland, been there on holiday once, nice scenery, might go back’… #letstaytogether

They are the exact mix of hypocritical champagne socialists and tories we want to get away from … Highgate to Richmond via Golders Green, First Class all the way old boy toot toot.

When 400 people own 80 per cent of your country’s land then you are living in a colony, there is no other way to describe it.

Thanks Paul, I kept hoping someone else would raise the spectre of the clearances, in the Highlands, which never really ended, apart from a wee hiatus around the mid 70’s. That was when people flocked to the North from all over the whole country, reversing the clearances for nearly 15 years, to work at the great Oil construction Yards of Nigg, Kishorn and Ardersier. The Alcan Smelter employed hundreds, the British Pipe Coating plant more than a few more! Between them there was employment for thousands, over mostly 3 shifts each….the North hadn’t enough people, farm hands leaving their tractors to drive forklifts and cranes, hundreds of school leavers and older learned to weld, fabricate, in the training schools. There was so little housing that until it was built they stayed in beach camps and moored dormitory ships!……but in the Thatcher years it fizzled and died, by the mid 90’s there were shadows where the quarter mile smelter sheds had sat, 4 of them….all gone. Ardersier and Nigg were shadows about to fade, Kishorn was gone….It was back to the clearances or the dole! We had a wee joke in Invergordon, that when Libya kicked off, the population doubled overnight, so many people from the many yards had taken their skills overseas! The Clydeside shipbuilders, welders, platers, that had come North from the ebbing waters of John Browns and UCS, had tomove on again, or stayed and are buried in Hihland graveyards along with the dreams of prosperity, that flared so briefly!
So as someone that has had many jobs, reinventing myself and moving around the far North for work, I understand the thinking behind your blog. From the top of the Hill I can see the Duke’s statue, and a little further along the coats at Helmsdale stands another tribute to the Emigrates, those that were forced from Strathhalladale, Strath Naver, Glencalvie, Reay, and so many more estates. And I want to see a Scotland that will make their memory and sacrifice worth the returning to! To bring her people home!,

My mothers family “McKechnie” were cleared from Knoydart. Family history does not say whether it was for economic or political reasons. As Knoydart was very pro Jacobite a wee part of me hopes that it was for latter reason.

“Prosperity for Scotland and No Union” was engraved into many Jacobite sword blades and dirks. So Im just keeping family traditions alive. 🙂

Thank you for your informative and moving post, Donald. It reminds us that independence is necessary for all the communities of Scotland which have suffered neglect due to indifference and the remoteness of government.

Apropos that infamous list, I remember seeing a programme several years ago with one Griff Rhys Jones (on the list) wandering in one of those northern wildernesses you mention, speaking of the wonderful scenery and extolling its wildness. However, at one point he was entertained to the Highland hospitality of a crofter recently returned to croft in that area where his ancestors had once farmed. Rhys Jones sat there with his long face drooping even further, listening, then later, to camera, expressed his regret that people had been allowed to return to spoil this “pristine” land for people like him. For me, it sums up the attitude of these well-heeled rovers and their so-called “love” for a depopulated landscape which they want to keep for their occasional playground.

As someone once said, “its bonnie scenery, but ye cannae eat it!”…..at this time of remembering WW1, ( and by the way, I only really want to commemorate the ending) the governments of the years were not kind to Scotland. In the Western Isles, soldiers returning from the war found their people dispossessed, struggling to live, starving and trying to scratch a living on poor ground having been excluded from the better more fertile lands by wealthy landowners working in collusion with the state! This was not 1719, nor 1819…this was in the last century post the Great War. I could direct folk to read about the “Raasay Raiders” or the “Rona Raiders” as a prime example. It is mentioned on Wiki, though I knew of it long ago, I stayed on Raasay briefly, even met someone who had been there as a wee boy! It took two years for the government to give respite when their conscience finally told!
What people do not realise is that those of us that stayed, that didnt move away, did so because of chance, the chance that brought work to the Highlands in the early 70’s with the great rigs! I get teary thinking about the wonderful men I worked with, the stupendous structures we built, to me as a young man, this was “thunderbirds” come to life…..to watch the choreographed ballet of 5 cranes lift 750 tonnes over 50 metres in the air with millimetric precision, when cranes had huge footpedals for winch brakes and yard long levers for hoisting…..Those few years when the Clearances were reversed and there came the Weegies to work wi the Teuchters. Awesome years, but again they are gone, 15, maybe 20 years barely……
To continue to live an work here, all year, is still a fairly hard life even with so much modern conveniences, but if you love it, and can survive, you stay!
I have my Fathers croft, returned after having to work wherever the work was…and it is my home.
Those that visit, have really no idea, try living here a few years!
But when a traffic jam consists of a tractor and two cars…..aye, thats when ye smile.

And thank you JG, for raising that wee point about Griff….I didnae see it, but I have seen similar, and listened to those that were like him!

Like Nigel Mace above there are a couple of names mentioned that I find disappointing. Folk that I thought may have a bit more sense.

I notice Simon Cowell on the list. No surprise there. Lauren Laverne once described him perfectly. “Simon Cowell the man who single handedly cut the throat and drank the still warm blood of British popular culture” (Sounds about right!)

I must confess as to not actually seeing a copy of the list but I haven’t heard Brian Sewells name mentioned. That is disappointing. We need to get Sewell on TV as often as possible in the next few weeks. He is a real vote winner!

This is as daft but much more insulting than Rory the Tory’s pile of stones. I reckon any benefit the no’s might have gained from the MSM hype of the TV debate has been well and truly flushed down the pan.

Great article as usual, and I have to confess to feeling a high level of pride when I read the list of names and recognised fewer than half of them. What a relief that was. Does any living soul know who Macey Brabin is and why s/he thinks I or anyone else would be swayed by his/her opinions on anything?

Fantastic post Paul, I think land reform is one of the biggest things they are scared of and that is why they won’t talk about it, but be rest assured it will be talked about in the “Gentleman’s” clubs of London and the palace of westminster. In the words of Dick Gaughan ” they cleared us off once and they’ll clear us off again because they prefer sheep to thinking men but men who think like sheep are even better”

Yes, a handful of folk who seem to think they are some sort of celebs and so have a say regarding the future of that place they visited once twenty or thirty years ago. Nice scenery, pity about the rain. Difficult to understand the lingo but you just talk a little louder and wave the flag and that sorts out any problems.

Recognised few names. Pity about one or two of these. I’ll never again feel content to watch yet another rerun of Lewis or Poirot. So less and less reasons to watch TV.

To have the gall to add your name to such a letter I think says much. To me it says they have little or no understanding of what the Scotland of today is like, or about our aspirations for a better, more democratic system than the one they support and which they obviously feel needs little change. We, on the other hand, desire change and are no longer willing to subsidise the lifestyles of these so-called celebs while people here suffer.

I heartily endorse Stoops suggestion that you respond to them with an open letter here suggesting they show their support in actions as well as words and send donations to our food banks. I’m sure the response would get back to them.

Must be sentimental tonight as your post has brought tears to my eyes. Mind I’m flipping angry too, how dare a bunch of impertinent folk who know nothing about us and what we are fighting for, thinking they have any right to tell us what THEY think. I should co-co grrr.
BTW years ago we owned a house a few miles from Huntly – the title deeds stated that if any minerals etc were found on our land they belonged to guess who….. Yes the Duke of Westminster!

Land reform is another reason I’m voting yes. I recently spent time walking in an area that happened to be part of a shooting estate. For the first time in my life, I found myself a foreigner in my own country – locked out and unwelcome. A little insight into what the clearances actually achieved.

In contrast, similar trips to other areas under community ownership were wonderfully open and enjoyable where I felt this was my land and I was part of it.

I’d just like our country back please. As for the slebs, I’d say one child needing a food bank pretty much blasts your patronising postcard to oblivion.

A celebrity obsessed media and culture. What other lurve bomb could they send? I have great respect for a number of names on that list, but frankly the whole episode was a waste of their time. I’m voting yes to see that ordinary people needn’t fear hunger or poverty. I’m voting yes to insure that ordinary people have accountable, representative government. And I’m voting yes to ensure that ordinary people have choice.

Whilst I understand your feelings, the consequence of all this is “bugger the poor or powerless of England and Wales; they will have to put up with it. We’ll be ok up here, though “. Having said that, if I was in Scotland I may well have voted yes. But if you do go for independence, in your euphoria, remember to shed a tear for those south of the border who will suffer even more without you. But whatever, please sort out the owners of those massive sporting estates. As for those luvvies? They are an embarassment to many in England. We are not all posh and we do not all live in
London or the Home Counties.

The point is that no matter what voters in Scotland do, we cannot protect the poor of England and Wales from the consequences of how England and Wales choose to vote. Or more precisely, how a minority of voters in Labour-Tory marginals in England choose to vote.

I used to live in the East End of London and worked in the voluntary sector in poor and powerless communities in Newham and Tower Hamlets. I know first hand the deprivation, poverty and hopelessness that stalks those communities. I’m very sorry – but it is not the purpose of Scotland to act as an airbag to protect England and Wales from Conservatism. The UK keeps having Conservative car crashes, and the poor of Scotland get burst along with everyone else.

Scottish independence will give the Westminster establishment the almighty kick up the arse it needs, and it might, just might, shake them out of their complacency. But it is not Scotland’s role to protect England from its own democratic choices. The point is that we in Scotland can do something right here, right now, to fix the structural and political problems which have blighted our lives. We are taking our own future into our own hands – the poor and powerless in England must do the same. No one is pretending it’s going to be easy, but no, we will not forget you.

Paul, ye did a great thing with this post, in the Highlands we often feel we are the forgotten….perhaps we put the kilt on to gie the visitors a thrill!….but to us, to the native Highlanders, or to the descendants, the Clearances never stopped, are as much in mind now as ever. Its an amazingly emotive and emotional subject, as I witnessed when I posted two comments on another site, Farmers4Yes. I lost count of the shares and comment, 500, 600…it went on and on!
Our greatest export was always our people, I want them to feel pride in a new Scotland, I want them to come home!

Stunning post Paul. What can I say? This “debate” has long since passed the point of Yes versus No.
It’s absolutely about the type of society we want and having the democratic means to create it. It’s about seeking an end to 300 years of poverty, inequality, dispossession, exclusion and lack of opportunities for the vast majority of our citizens.
Enough is enough.

Driving through Golspie you can see a statue on the hill. That statue is the Duke of Sutherland. It has been pelted with stones and attempts were made to topple it so I hope one day it will be destroyed.

There are many estates around where I live, enclosed with high wire fences and locked gates. The message is clear, we are gentry and YOU are not welcome.

I agree, but on the other hand, maybe we should keep them as they are, just to remind us. They’re part of our history and can show how far we fell and can serve as a warning. They could also turn into a comic curiosity in the future, like the pictures in the National Museum in Dublin of people in Dun Laoghaire waving Union Jacks during a visit from some British king or other. When I was there on holiday, some young Irish people were doubled over laughing: “That’s mad!”, said one of them.

Nana, there is a reason these statues should remain, to remind us! as a focal point in history of the power of the Lords, so we can feel that outrage and channel it, beyond the fears of the unknown elements of the future! Because the unknown terrified those that were cleared, those that left, but they had no choice and they made it work!
We now have that choice and it doesnt scare me, it scares me more to remain with the establishment that has controlled us by many means, fair or foul,to keep control!
Because that is what it was always about! Control, by the wealthy lordships, and those that would aspire to be wealthy lordships through birth or acquisition.
This movement is about the People, the People of Scotland, and if we can gain courage and outrage, to steel the will against the system, to change it for the better, then the statues shall, must remain!

I tend to agree with Donald. If that horrible statue in Golspie gets destroyed by local people, that’s great, but I’d be slow to suggest changes and removals be legislated for. Wouldn’t be sorry to see them all go, especially Donald Dewar in Buchanan St.

Nailed it as usual Paul. And just in case Dan and his chums don’t read your blog I posted the link on his Twitter account. Perhaps he’ll drop a wee comment.

By the way I thought it hilarious that Starkey’s name was on the list. Surely someone forged his signature. Can’t imagine he agreed to sign that load of sentimental nonsense given what he thinks about us and ours. Bet he’s fuming.

And how many of these signatories actually have a vote in the referendum? I also wonder how many refused to back it?

It sure gives one a little warm feeling to be so loved – but it’s simply just too bad we’re stuck with Trident because they don’t want it near them – and no doubt they’ll be happy to carry the whole debt their preferred political government has piled up, £1.6 going on for £4.4 TRILLION.

Their survival instinct will be working its wee socks off with each and every one of them after 18 September. I’ll bet Scotland will have an immensely popular cultural scene after the penny drops!

I suppose the situation with the ignorant, thicko utterings of Starkey requires the ‘victim recipient’ to still be there so he can keep on saying them. He needs the audience and the recipient to be present, otherwise he will be by himself, and it is not as much fun if he can’t point while gibbering.

So naturally he would want Scotland to stay handy to hear what he is saying about it.

At the start of the 19th century a census in Stath Glais (Strathglass) showed some 40,000 people of Clann Siosalach (Chisholm) therein. By the end of that century there were….None!
Source:- “Is Blath an Fhuil/ The Blood is strong” (from BBC Alba,not currently available on iplayer! But if I may be permitted here is a link to a clip)

I recall hearing No supporters decrying Sean Connery’s support for Yes because despite being Scottish he didn’t live here and didn’t have a vote, so why on earth should I listen to this collection of individuals many of whom are not Scots, don’t live here, and may possibly never even have visited. Hypocrites one and all. An attribute which personifies the No campaign.

I am disappointed that the organisers of the letter from the celebs didn’t get Princess Diana and the Queen Mother to sign it. I mean, they got Neil Stuke (no, me neither) to sign it twice, so who’d really mind if the celebs are leading a double life or even still drawing breath. The People’s Princess and the Nation’s Favourite Granny might even have trumped the powers of the illustrious Amanda Foreman and Roger Allam, among others, to persuade the Scots to vote against a democratic future.

another example of how the No camp are completely out of touch with Scotland and Scots. If we needed any more proof that is. – You should do a quick crowdfund to get this published full page in one of the Sundays. Good luck . Anne

Thought it might interest folks here that in Birmingham City Centre this morning, in a prominent location with lots of passers by, a pro-union grouping was setting up its stall. I think they were called “Let’s Stay Together”. It seems the purpose was to incrementally modifier social influencers – if you know a voter in Scotland, maybe you’ll be the reason they vote No.

They had a vertical banner that appealed to the emotional language of collaboration and shared history. I’d have loved to have stopped for a pleasant chat, but I have a Gaza demo to get to. I’d have been intrigued whether the individuals setting up shop were paid, and who was paying for the marketing materials.

As an aside, it seems that the language of “let’s work this out together” is proving somewhat persuasive with my theoretically progressive (but in practice fairly apolitical) friends. The key to persuading people (from my binoculars view in the English Midlands admittedly) is to have ready examples to hand about how Westminster ignores Scotland. Ensuring people know they are choosing more of the same ignoring is a good counter-message, I think.