Out of Florida … Really?

Fitz in The Morning has been doing The What are You Kidding Me Stories of The Day for many many years now and right when I think I have heard it all…something surprises me. Yes, some freak comes and surprises us with the bizarre and today that would be 57 year-old Debra Farinella who cops just busted and found 146 pieces of stolen good that she was using to decorate her home. And Debbie stole from everyone and I do mean everyone including babies, children, the elderly, and the middle aged. What did she steal you

ask?
Debbie has been stealing statues, lights, planters, decorations, and other trinkets left…left on grave sites. And she used all of the things to decorate her home or gave them as gifts. Yes she double gifted with cemetery decorations! Deranged Debbie has been going to the Mount Peace Cemetery for years stealing from the deceased. She has been charged with grand theft and petty theft.

Alright kiddos think about this the next time you are at a drunken party or just being plain…well…nuts. Don’t swallow live fish…oh I know it impresses your friends, but the fish doesn’t always die and doesn’t always end up in your belly.

Just ask some kid in India who shortly after swallowing a 3 and ½ inch fish began having shortness of breath. He was rushed to the hospital where docs discovered that the little slimy water dweller had somehow found his way into one of the kid’s lungs and he was alive and stealing air!

Dr. Jhawar grabbed a very long scope went…well…went fishing and caught the little critter. And believe it or not…the fish was still alive when he was removed. The kid is fine and no word on what they did with the fish.

Most women would say their husbands would never have a vasectomy without their permission, but a surprising number of them would be wrong. I know a man who did just that years ago and his wife still doesn't know that he did so! Do you think that is outrageous? 94% say yes!!! This isn't the only major no-no for a happily married man --Check out the 16 things a husband should never consider doing without consulting his wife first.

1. Dip into the retirement fund for a surefire investment opportunity.

2. Take his entire paycheck to the casino.

3. Buy a house. Sure, this is a sweet gesture, but what if you hate it. Or worse, what if it's next door to his mother's.

4. Sell the house.

5. Invite his mother to live with you.

6. Loan his no-good brother/sister more than $50.

7. Plan a boys weekend away. This is especially egregious if you have kids.

8. Invite your in-laws into the birthing suite when you are in labor.

9. Hold a garage sale and sell some of your stuff.

10. Paint the house a new color.

11. Plan a party at your house that you will have to do all the cooking for.

12. Buy a boat, sports car, or any other over-the-top luxury.

13. Invite an ex-girlfriend over.

14. Plan an expensive, wallet-busting vacation without asking you if it's even a place you want to go.

15. Buy a dog. This should definitely be a joint decision, especially since you are going to be the one mostly taking care of it.

16. Have a vasectomy (or any other major procedure that involves his private parts).

Last week Christopher Haro of Roseburg was pulled over for speeding. As the officers were talking to him they quickly figured out that Chris was lit! Maybe it was because he smelled like booze, or maybe he was slurring his words, or maybe…just maybe it was his t-shirt that tipped them off. His shirt that had “GOT BEER” on it!

And props to the person who took the mug shot, because he made sure that he got the words “Got Beer?” clearly in the photo!

Custom officials apparently noticed something very special about Claire Abdeldaim as she walked toward them at JFK Airport. Maybe the almost 64 year-old woman had quite the booty and hips on her, or maybe she just looked guilty of something so they gave her a good scan. And upon further investigation sure enough…baby didn’t have back…she had green backs. I mean she had tons of cash stuffed in her underwear. No, I mean a lot of cash as in she had $169,000 in $100 bills in her drawers! Claire had sold a house in Sudan and didn’t want to pay taxes on the cash.

Hey guys,
I like to post stuff that could you make you healthier or live longer. I like things like this becasue, as a father, and I want to be around for my son as long as i can be and i am sure you feel the same way.

Take a look at what we have in our food that we eat everyday. It's REALLY scary!!

The police officer that pulled over David Wagner didn't have to ask him if he had been drinking, because when he rolled down his window the smell of the happy sauce filled the air. And the officer didn’t have to give David a breathalyzer to know he was drunk, because when he got pulled over David reached up to grab the cigarette he had tucked behind his ear, but instead…instead he grabbed his hearing aid and tried to light it!

Poor Dave’s heart was in the right place even if his head was not. He told officers that he was on a mission to get his wife a chocolate milkshake, because she had just gotten some teeth removed.