We have a new season, a new site, and the best new thing about it - ME!!!! Scoop McLeak, i'll be casting my critical eye around the league each week making sure none of you get carried away with lucky wins, flukey TD's and general rubbish play! OK, Here's the weeks headlines:-

GIANTS CRAP, EAGLES CRAP, MIGHTY JETS CRUSH KC 12-10!!!

So, where to start? No less than the reigning SML Champs of course, the season 1 golden boys: The Houston Cowb.... sorry, Texans. Down in Houston it appears there are more strippers than the Playboy mansion, Antonio Smith with 2 FF's and Brian Cushing with 1 FF (+ 3 sacks between them). When you take on the champs be sure to hold on to the rock - not like the New Orleans 'Aints!

Last seasons NFC champs - the New York Football Midgets carried on where they left off - Eli Manning has thrown for nearly 1000 yds in his last 2 games, unfortunately over half of them were caught by opposing defenders. Coby Ross of the Fins was obviously over-awed by Tuck, Pierre-Paul and co to the point where he asked to be benched in the 4th qtr - after running for 217 yds and 3 TD's in his SML start! (Watch out AP)

Megatron managed to get his helmet on over his Megahead this week and accidentally caught 15 passes for 231 yds & 2TD's - watch out SML, coach Sol-man has put the roar back in Detroit.

The Steel Curtain is back - unfortunately their WR's seem to be playing under one after amassing just 34 yds in a season opening 10-3 'thriller' over the Mental Bengals.

The 'Player Of The Week' award has been re-named the 'Adrian Peterson Award' as he won so many last season - and the winner of this weeks Adrian Peterson Award is .... Adrian Peterson! Old 'Turbo-thighs' posted 21-233yds & 4 td's. (Average for him).

The dream team in Philly is getting too much sleep on the pitch it seems - with a secondary standing back and admiring Smilin Aaron Rodgers of the Pack as he completed 19-24 and 3 TD's. Rumour has it the 2 INT's by Smiler were mercy picks in a 28-21 win over the Eagles!

The Arizona Marginals (so named for their close games - who can forget the Dallas game last season?) are at it again. Another close one this time in a 30-24 loss v the Rams. Stephen Jackson proved he's still harder than his cousin Samuel L. by rushing for 116 yds and a TD.

The Oakland Vaders are back - putting up 52 pts with Darren McFadden rushing for 207 yds and 4 TD's - lets face it, not hard against the Cleveland Clowns.

The Baltimore Ravin Ravens decided to play the 2nd string from the 2nd quarter - 5 t/o's and a shutout later it seems like a good plan. When asked to comment on the game OLB Terrell Suggs remarked 'meat'. (He also said 'meat' when asked what his favourite colour was, strange boy).

The Titans edged a close one 30-29 (Arizona style) in a tough opener against the Jags where CJ slugged it out in a run fest v Maurice Jones-Drew. Scoop says watch out for Tennessee this season! (and the Jets, of course)

And finally - if you want to know how to dominate a team and lose by 21 pts have a chat with Tom Brady, who against the Bills was 69% on 3rd down, 16 first downs to 7 and then, all of a sudden, before anyone checked the scoreboard it was 35-14 Buffalo! Crazy game football - especially madden style.

Week 2 is in the books so it's time for me, Scoop McLeak, to crawl out of my drunken coma and bring you all the highlights of last week's SML action!

New Coaches Impressive, Vikes, Rams, Texans dominant as Usual

The Packers and Dolphins both have new coaches this season and both have their teams off to impressive 2-0 starts. After Aaron Rodgers’ otherworldly performance made the Eagles All-Pro defensive backfield look like a bunch of no-pro amateurs last week, Rodgers came back down to earth and had a rather human showing completing just 54% of his passes for 209 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT. Second year player and first year starter Terrelle Pryor took notice of Rodgers’ lackluster performance and tryed to help poor Aaron out by tossing 4 picks of his own. Along with the INTs, the Pack D managed to contain the Raiders powerful rushing attack well enough to earn a 27-17 win for Coach Adrak.

Coach Dysart’s Miami Dolphins were lead to a 24-0 victory by a dominating defensive performance and the early frontrunner for Rookie of the Year, HB Cobie Ross (28-165 and 1 TD). Ryan INTzpatrick did his best to seal the victory for the Phins by putting up an amazing QB Rating of 0.0. By going 5 for 20 and throwing 3 INTs, Fitzpatrick has reached a new level of perfection in awfulness. I’m sure his mom will be framing that 0.0 QB rating and hanging it on the wall at home right next to his Harvard degree.

Megatron dominated once again going over 12 catches and 200 yards receiving for an unprecedented second week in a row as the Lions rolled over the Seagulls 35-9. With this effort he managed to finally pry the Adrian Peterson Award from Adrian Peterson’s grubby fingers. Earning the award will also earn him a ton of defensive spotlighting and double coverage as the season goes on. The scouting report is out on the Lions:”Stop Megatron, stop the Lions.”

Speaking of AP, what an awful performance he had last week. He was only able to manage a measly 115 yards and 3 TDs on 14 carries and so his Vikes barely squeaked out a 56-20 win against the Bolts.

In other games, the Rams blitzed the Ravens senseless causing a bruised and battered Joe Flacco to throw four picks. The Rams turned those picks into points by returning 3 directly for TDs. A balanced offensive attack led by Steven Jackson’s 224 all-purpose yards and TDs coupled with the INTs resulted in a lopsided 48-14 victory for the Rams.

The Steelers improved to 2-0 by trouncing the Browns 31-10. The Eagles got back on track by beating up on the Washington Deadskins 38-14 led by rookies Daniel Rucker (6 Tackles 2 Sacks) and Dallas Strong (9 Catches 107 yards) on both sides of the ball. Houston also rolled to a 35-10 win over the Bucs behind hundred yard performances from Andre Johnson and Arian Foster.

Eli Manning remembered that his team was the ones with the blue helmets and for the first time in weeks he completed more passes to his teammates than he did to the other team. The ailing Aints proved to be a perfect rebound team as they put up no struggle while New York laughed their way to a 48-10 victory.

On the other side of the coin, the Titans, Pats and Cards all lost in upsets which killed my combo bets this week and led to my alcoholic binge.

That’s that for Week 2. The Pack and the Vikings should be a great game but too close to call so my pick for the game of the week is the Dolphins by 7 over the Raiders. I’m off to my AA meeting and until next week this is Scoop McLeak reminding you to break a leg!

One point though - the Eli Manning u mention - is that the one currently residing at the top of the passing charts??????????????

Yes, the same Eli Manning that threw 10 picks over the course of two weeks dating back to the Super Bowl is currently leading the league in yards per game after two weeks. He also has an impressive QB Rating of 67 and completion percentage of 50.7 to go along with 6 INTs and all those yards.

I'm hearing reports that a record breaking crowd is expected for the Vikings-Packers game in Green Bay tonight. Some fans even camped out for days in order to get tickets to this division rivalry game.

Scoop McLeak here whether you like it or not and ready to give you a rundown on a few games from last weekend that seemed worthy of my attention.

EVERYONE LOVES CHEESE, SAMMY'S BIG DAY AND TEXANS SLIDE PAST CURTAIN

We had a big BIG-RIVALRY-BOWL at Lambeau Field in Cheesetown this week. The record breaking crowd in Lambeau was treated to a damn good game that ended in a close win for the Cheeseheads 31-28. Despite the high scoring affair it was defense that decided this battle. Both run games were working well as Grant and AP both had 3 rushing TDs and averaged well over 6 yards per carry. However neither team could resist trying to air it out which proved to be a risky move as both teams threw 4 picks each. The Pack added a lost fumble to bring the total turnovers to 9 but despite losing the turnover battle with a -1 turnover differential they came out on top on the scoreboard. The Packers defense must have been getting funded from the local hospital in Green Bay as they sent five Vikings playmakers out of the game with different injuries. Its a wonder that Minnesota didn't throw in the towel after losing so many players.

The Seattle defense had a long day trying to stop Sam Bradford. He was sacked 5 times but answered with 5 Passing TD´s to 5 different recievers. Five TD days don't happen often but the St. Louis faithful hope they'll see more of that in the future. His effort also earned him the Offensive Player of the Week Award. And the Rams D did what they do best and held Lynch to just 35 yards on 11 carries. The Seagulls thought that maybe Dr. Doolittle would have better luck in the second half but the rookie was only able to gain a measly 11 yards on 9 carries.

Oakland played host to another big matchup this week after losing a close game against the Pack in week 2. Vontae Davis put the first points on the board with a big pick 6 over 30 yards. After the first score it was a movie called „no big plays please“. Many short runs and short passes on both sides. Despite jumping out to a big lead early on the Phins were nice guests and let the Raiders back in the game during the second half. They managed to hold onto the lead though and won 28-21. Both teams have big potential and i think we will hear more from them as the season goes on.

In New England Vick and Brady went head-to-head as they both tried to prove who's best. But after a 20-10 loss Giselle Bundchen decided to stay the night in Vick´s dog-pound. Brady's 117 yards on 11 completed passes was not enough to satisfy Giselle or the other Pats fans. The Eagles lack of a run game made it difficult to pull away despite Brady's off day though. McCoy and Vick seemed to stumble over each other multiple times as the Pats D racked up tackles in the backfield. It took a crucial 4th quarter drive and conversion on fourth and inches from Vick in order to seal the victory. The Patriots also sent four Eagles players limping off to the sidelines during the game. However, only Nate Allen will miss significant time as he tore his abdomen after celebrating an interception in the final minute of the game. It wasn't pretty but it was a big win for the Eagles. Either way both teams can do better and they will do better ... someday.

The Superbowl Champion didn't destroy the steel curtain but they found a way through. Foster's 119 yards against this defense is a reason to throw a big party. And Schaub...What a game from Schaub. Not a ton of yards but only 3 incomplete passes. Seems like the Texans want to go directly to their next Superbowl. Who will stop them. We will see.Big Ben was also very accurate throwing just two incomplete passes but ones of his incompletes was a costly interception so no hype for him today.

Since the arrival of Adrian Peterson on a football field the age old question 'are we alone' has become more relevant and now we have irrefutable proof that not just AP is from a martian planet but he brought friends with him. take a look at week 4's stats:-8 HB's, 167 carries, 1192 yards and 16 TD's. Thats an average of 7 .1 yards per carry, 149 yards and a pair of TD's per game each. This crazy gang led by AP (even his nickname Purple Jesus is a clue) consists of Coby 'walk on water' Ross, Arian Imposter, LeSean 'Star Trek' McCoy, Chris 'Predator' Johnson, Sugar Ray Rice, LeGarette 'McGarrett' Blount and RunHard Mendenhall. I rest my case.

Out of the above unearthly bunch only CJ's Titans lost, going down to the 3-1 Steelers thanks to a couple of picks thrown by Jake Locker, Mike Wallace also put up great numbers again for Pitt with 5 catches for 147 and a td. The other big story of the week Eli (yawn) Manning is back in re-hab. He promised us fireworks before the NFC East showdown with the talented Eagles and he delivered - another 3 interceptions. George Blanda (who?) holds the record for most int's in a season with 42 - and that record is about to be destroyed by Eli who is on target for 74 at this rate. Apart from McCoy, Vick also impressed with a tidy 137.5 QB rating. Rumour has it the Giants owner threw a tantrum and ripped up his contract on the sidelines and moved directly to Chicago - now theres a smart move (not!!!).

The Aaron Rodgers led Packers had to mount a come from behind 4th quarter surge to overcome the dangerous Detroit Lions in a close one at Lambeau. Rodgers would have been in the 'alien' group but proved he is human by getting picked twice - didn't stop him posting 21/26/266/3 tds though. I really hate him, he smiles, he wins, he does adverts. Damn! Megahead was powerless with a pedestrian 3 for 51yds, is that double teaming starting to work i wonder?

There were also shut-out victories for the World Champion Texans, Raiders and Buccs. Easy wins for the Vikes, Fins, Ravens, Saints and Bills and St Louis got into a fist fight with the 49ers eventually creaking to a 31-27 victory. Which finally brings us to the Patriots, some things in life never fail to surprise us - like, Pop Idol finding talent, or ManU and ManC getting booted from the champions league on the same night, or UPS delivering on time, but one thing in the modern football world has stunned everyone of late, the New England Patriots are 0 and 4!!! Oh well, things will change soon - not too soon though, double AP Award of the Week winner Coby Ross and the Fins are up next, oh my!

Scoop McCleak signing off and would like to impart some of my 69 years of football wisdom to the SML: FIND SOME LINEBACKERS!

Yeah I’m late. So what?! You want your Week 5 Roundup? Here it goes…Battle in the North, Cobie Runs Wild and Cam Does it All

We’ll start with the game of the week. The Vikings and Lions met in the Metrodome in what was billed as the battle in the North. This game did not disappoint. Both teams featured early MVP award favorites. And both Adrian “Broken Tackle” Peterson as well as Calvin “Give Me the Damn Ball” Johnson lived up to their billing.

Calvin Johnson was unstoppable as he hauled in 5 passes, 3 of which went for touchdowns and gained a total of 174 yards through the air. He even added an 11 yard run on a reverse to prove Megatron can do it all.

AP was not about to be upstaged in his own house though. All Day rumbled his way to a league record 273 yards and 4 TDs on 20 carries. Both defenses seemed happy just watching the star offensive players do their thing as the teams combined for 6 touchdown plays of 50 yards or more. Megatron hauled in a 17 yard pass (the second shortest score of the game) with 1:56 left on the clock to put his team within 3 points. The Vikings were able to hold off the Lions though and close out the game with a 38-35 win.

In the AFC East, the New England Patriots looked to turn things around after an unusual 0-4 start. Unfortunately, they had to do that against the upstart Dolphins lead by their rookie phenom Cobie Ross. The game started off evenly as the two teams battled to a 14-14 standstill at halftime behind a 69 yard interception return TD from Brandon Spikes and an 83 yard TD run from Cobie Ross. But in the second half Cobie just went Kobe. By that I meant he took over the game not that he was accused of sexual assault. Cobie reportedly demanded the ball in the huddle and he proved why he deserved it as he gained 268 yards and 3 TDs on 24 carries while carrying his Phins to a 41-14 victory.

In a game that looked close on the stat sheets the turnover ratio and a little bit of Cam turned out to be the difference. The Bears were able to gain 411 yards on offense mainly behind an impressive day by “Streaky” Jay Cutler as he gained 364 yards and 3 TDs through the air. His one interception helped the Panthers jump out to an early lead though. And Cam Newton never allowed the Bears to get back into it as he gained 79 yards and a TD on the ground to go along with his 270 yard 2 TD passing performance. With every point that the Bears scored the Panthers were able to match it and maintain their early lead that was powered by two Chicago turnovers and Carolina went home with a 42-27 victory.

In other games around the SML, the champion Texans remained undefeated as they roughed up the powerless Chargers 38-10. The Eagles dominated the Deadskins 27-7. The Ravens eeked out a 10-7 win against the 49ers. And finally, Dallas blew out the Falcons 35-13 behind a 400 yard day from Tony Romo and a defensive player of the week performance from Demarcus Ware (8 Tackles 2 Sacks 1 FF).

In week 6, I’m looking forward to the undefeated Dolphins visiting the 4-1 Eagles. Offensive Rookie of the Year favorite Cobie Ross versus Defensive Rookie of the Year favorite Daniel Rucker should be a great battle. I’m betting the house that the Eagles manage a close last minute win over the resurgent Phins. My hunch is the final score is somewhere in the range of 24-23.

So that’s it for Week 5. See you back here next week because seriously where else are you gonna get news about the SML?

First let’s take a look at the Music City. The Cardinals flew over and took home a win to Arizona.It was not a game filled with highlights but 20:14 is a win which brings Zona closer to a playoff shot and may make the race for the NFC West a bit more interesting. Steven Jackson’s 140-plus all-purpose yards and two TD´s were not enough to beat the Cards because the red birds’ defense robbed Bradford four times returning one for a TD.

WHO DAT?!... Now we know who dat dat can beat dem Saints. Say dat three times fast. Wow what a game! The Bucs completely shut down the Saints running game as they were only able to manage 6yards on 6 attempts. Drew Brees tried to give his best and his 286 yards and 3 TD´s gave the Saints a 20:14 lead entering the final quarter. The fourth quarter turned out to be Bucs quarter though. First Arrellious Benn grabbed a one point lead for TB as he plucked a Josh Freeman pass out of the air on a 15 yard TD play. Then Aqib Talib made his second pick of the day and returned it 34 yards toseal the victory for the Bucs.

One of America’s oldest rivalry games was played in Chicago this week. The Cheeseheads were guests at Soldier Field and were looking to stay undefeated. The first half ended 7:3 for green and gold but the second half started with the Bears taking the lead behind a Matt Forte power run but we all know its not over until the fat lady sings. Aaron Rodgers with 2 Td´s in 4th quarter destroyed all dreams of the Bears to get a win at home. I asked the new Head Coach of the Bears what his tactic is to bring success back to Chicago and he only answered "This season will have a tight end." We will see what he means.

The closest game we had in Philly. It was like a Rocky fight because the final knock out came in the last second. Vick was great through the air with 10 comp. for 211 but without a passing TD. This was the job of the work horse Shady McCoy. Two times he could celebrate a TD. With just 1:53 left in the 4th quarter McCoy ran 8 yards for his second TD to put his team up by 5. The Eagles then went for two in order to try and secure a seven point lead. The pass went to Hernandez over the middle who got rocked by Karlos Dansby but held onto the ball as the Eagles took a 24-17 lead. And then things happened for which we love the game. Reggie Bush answered with a 108 yard kickoff return TD for the Dolphins. Instead of merely kicking the extra point and hoping for OT, Coach Dysart decided to run with the momentum and go for two and the win. Chad Henne found Hartline crossing over the middle but Philly LB Daniel Rucker jarred the ball loose to save a 24-23 win for his Eagles.

Week 7 features a load of crap games but one game that should be interesting is the Panthers versus the Bucs. I think this should be an exciting game to watch as the teams battle back and forth in a high scoring affair. In the end though I think the Panthers will come out with a 3 point victory and I’m going with that as my lock of the week. Take that to the bank and I’ll see you next week.