The 2012 NHL Awards are tonight in Las Vegas. The awards get a lot of buzz in hockey circles, but they're pretty much ignored in the mainstream. Maybe more people would pay attention if the NHL didn't always give away the same old, stodgy awards with confusing names. The Hart Memorial Trophy. The Lady Byng Memorial Trophy. The Frank J. Selke Trophy.

Lame. It's time for some new awards that could appeal to more people. Here are 25 ideas:

Thickest Playoff Beard

Patchiest Playoff Beard

Smelliest Playoff Beard

Most Ungentlemanly Player

Most Manly Player

Most Playing Like a Kid Out There Player

Least Valuable Player

Funniest Canucks Joke

Most Hilarious Flyers Goal Allowed

Hardest Check on Sean Avery

Creepiest Sedin Twin

Fan Achievement in Booing Gary Bettman

Fan Achievement in Yelling “Shoot the Puck!” Most During Games

The Lord Stat-Padding Trophy for Most Empty-Net Goals

Gooniest Player

Most Punchable Player

The Don Cherry Award for the Player Who Most Dresses Like a Flower Garden

The Staal Cup for Achievements in Staaldom

Commissioner’s Cup for Best Bankrupt Team Run by the NHL

Tim Thomas Award for Most Misguided Political Statement

The Bruce Boudreau Cursiest Coach Swear Jar

Bloodiest Face

Most Toothless Grin

The Lord Zombie Trophy for Most Gruesome Injury Sustained Without Missing a Shift