Inside the mind of Paul "PFritz21" Fritz. It gets kinda crazy in here, so considered yourself warned.

Monday, May 24, 2004

I was browsing the magazine rack at the grocery store the other day. You know what I saw? "Combat Handguns". Why? First of all, why even publish a magazine like that? Are there so many people out there who find themselves saying, "Gee, I wish I knew more about the current trends and latest developments in the combat handgun industry."? Second, why is it in a grocery store? If I found that magazine in a gun shop, I'd understand. Less so in a bookstore, but still acceptable. But a grocery store? Third, this is North Dakota. The least violent and safest of the 50 states. I'd like to see the look on the cashier's face when someone brings that up to the till.

If you're a female between the ages of 14 and 40, and you DO NOT have your belly button pierced, I would like to meet you. If people like that even exist.

I should really stop watching "The Matrix". I may become even more paranoid than I already am.

I don't know who's dumber. The city of Fargo for putting a stoplight at the corner of 45th Street and 23rd Avenue South, or the people trying to use the shoulder of the road when making a right turn onto 23rd Ave S from the southbound lane on 45th St.

How was Brian's bachelor party? The most fun you could have sober. A good time was had by all.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Why is it that every time I turn on "The Price is Right", they're playing Plinko. I did it again this morning. That's like 3 times within the last year.

I wonder: are there more Canadians in Hollywood or more Jews? I'm talking about just actors and musicians. I wouldn't be surprised if it's close to a 1:1 ratio.

The thing that's so great about DVD's, and the thing that sucks, are the entire seasons of TV shows being released. For example, no one would by 6 VHS tapes with an entire season of a sitcom, or 10-12 for a drama. With DVD's, you can get that same season on 4 to 6 discs. However, you STILL pay through the nose for them. Volume 2 of Family Guy, with 22 episodes: $40. Any season of CSI: $65-75. Hell, even some DVD players are cheaper than the box sets! Maybe the next generation of video players will put an entire season on a single disc...

Speaking of DVD's, I can't wait for those episodes of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" from Toronto to come out. If ever. They should really do that.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

We have 5 vending machines in the IACC. Two Coke products, two Pepsi products, and one with snacks. Sometimes, change gets stuck in the coin slot on one of the Pepsi machines. That happened today. At first, I thought it was a quarter. After prying it free, the machine caught it. It was a dime. I hit the coin return and it came out. As I was talking to my friend Ron, I tried to put it in my pocket, only to drop it on the floor and watch it fall beneath the very machine I got it out of.

I wanted that dime. I tried to reach for it and find it. I didn't find it. But I did find a nickel. Then another. Then a penny. Then another penny. And finally, the motherload. A quarter. I came out $0.27 ahead. WOOT!!

Sunday, May 9, 2004

I hate Internet Ads. I don't like banners, but I've learned to live with them. Same goes for pop up ads. It's the two newest methods of delivery that piss me off. First, there are the "Pop Over" ads. They're flash animations that show up on top of the contest you're trying to view. WTF? If you want to advertise on a web site, put it out of the way. Don't put it where I'm trying to read. And those ads make you hunt for the Close button. Then there are the newest ads that insert a little video clip. Goddamn it. When one of those appears and the sound starts playing, it gives me a freakin' heart attack. They suck ass.

You seen the previews for this movie "The Terminal"? Is anyone else thinking "Forrest Gump 2"? Instead of being mentally slow, Tom Hanks is inhibited by a language barrier. But he still manages to find happiness. Seems like a good movie, but I dunno...

Turn on ESPN2 Saturday and Sunday nights for Sportscenter en Espanol. It's fun to watch the anchors rattle off in Spanish during the highlights of a baseball game, then having to slow down when they come to a totally normal American name. And the commercials are in Spanish too!! Sweet.

OK, here's my beef with Quidditch. No substitutes. Your team has 7 people, and that's it. You lose one of your players, you're screwed. You have to scramble for a replacement, someone who hasn't been practicing or is prepared. Like asking a random guy in the stands to pinch-run if one of your batters is beaned with a pitch and has to be taken out on a stretcher. And wizards and witches have been playing this game for centuries. You'd think that they were smart enough to account for this.

If you have no idea what I was talking about in that last paragraph, just nod your head, smile, and move on to the next one.

I'm so ready to rip into what's wrong with my place of work, but I'll wait until I don't work there anymore before I do.

You know what would be fun? Star Trek's Worf appearing in Trix commercials. Think of it. Maybe some person is enjoying breakfast. He/She offers the cereal to the Klingon. He responds, "I do not want any. Trix are for kids." Hilarious.

Speaking of cable TV, this is how it SHOULD work. Every cable channel is either basic or premium, but they ALL work like premium channels. You select which channels you want. You pay for the channels you select, and ONLY those channels. Personally, I'd give Lifetime, any religious channel, The Disney Channel, shopping channels, and the C-SPANs the boot. I think I've watched every other channel I've got at least once.

I'm so close to done. Yet so far. One more week. Then I'm done with this hellhole. Going to college may end up being one of the best things I've done, and if I had to do it over again, I probably would, but god damn. I've lost almost all respect for this school. Tuition hikes, STS, Division I athletics. Ugh.

Burp.

You know, fruit is kind of hit-and-miss. I'll buy apples or oranges to snack on. And I'll eat them. Until I get one that just doesn't taste right. An apple that's a little overripe, slighty mushy, not firm or sweet enough. An orange that's a little underripe, too firm, bitter. Then I won't buy any for weeks.

I think Avril Lavigne puts up a tough front to hide the fragile, delicate girl on the inside. As a performer, of course. And a pop-punk. Or a punk-pop. I think she just needs a hug.

I still want a camera phone. So I can photograph the stupid and silly things I see when I'm driving in my car. As long as I don't have to pay extra for the accessories to download the pics to my computer, so I can put them on the Internet.