There is no such thing as a “Perfect Parent” and laying on the guilt only increases your stress and makes you react to your child in ways that you don’t want to. Read more on the 10 Secrets to Happy Parenting in this Healthy Mama article by Julie Relevant, then decide for yourself what will make for a happier experience for both you and your children.

Better parenting skills happen when you stop trying to be the perfect parent, and be the parent your children need.

What do you do that bugs your kids most? Share it with me in the comments below – and for more help to silence that Inner Critic and feel better about your role as a parent CLICK HERE.

Birthdays should be celebrated! If you’re prone to throw over-the-top parties for your kids, here’s how to make better than perfect memories with less stress. I was honored to be interviewed for an article in MarketWatch about throwing your child a birthday party.

While most parents would agree that a child’s birthday is worthy of celebration, there are differences of opinion on how much is “too much” when it comes to birthday parties. Though stories abound about what the ‘rich and famous’ are giving their children, not all parents are willing to remortgage the family home for the sake of creating happy family memories.

The truth is, for younger children, over-the-top birthday celebrations are usually overwhelming. By the time the candles on the cake are lit, many a party has already gone up in smoke, with crying children competing with the ice cream for the quickest meltdown!

In a recent article by Barbara Kollmeyer, for MarketWatch.com, I was asked about why parents in the U.S. seem to strive so hard to give the perfect birthday party. See my response and read more about the surprising ways in which parents around the world manage to make better than perfect birthday memories a ‘piece of cake’.

My work as a Life Coach reveals that parents, too often, feel the need to try to create what amounts to ‘beautifully scripted memory books’, instead of simple, happy, family moments. But research shows that it’s not about the dollars you spend, it’s about the experiences you cultivate.

How can you celebrate your child’s birthday and make family memories without breaking the bank?

Raise your kids to enjoy hanging out with good friends. When this becomes their normal, it will also be what they will enjoy, andeven want. You won’t need to invest in:

Extravagant gifts

Excessive goody bags

Fabulous cakes

Perfect doesn’t always make for the most memorable experiences!

You can show your child how much they mean to you, their true worth, with much less stress – making it possible to actually enjoy a piece of that cake you decorated (with love) in their honor. And what could be more perfect than that!

Not surprisingly, many of the best family memories are the result of far from perfect moments in life. I’d love to hear your most memorable family birthday experiences in the comments below.

Making mistakes is actually part of being a good mom. Surprised? Here’s why a healthy attitude makes any mom better than perfect.

Do you often feel like you’re just not measuring up?

There will always be “what if” questions when it comes to being a good mom. Whether you’re concerned about pregnancy health, how to manage a toddler or issues with a teenager, being a mom can be challenging.

Where do you turn for help?

In this era of technology, you may be getting too much information from too many sources. And information overload usually doesn’t make things any better for moms who are already doubting themselves.

There is no such thing as a perfect mother, so don’t spend your time and energy on trying to be one.

A healthy attitude makes all the difference between being a good mom and being a mom who thinks that she has to be perfect. Be happy with being you and you’ll be the mom your family needs.

12 Mistakes You Might Be Making As a Mom and Tips for a Better, Healthier Attitude

Relying on your smartphone. Don’t believe everything you see and read on the Internet. Get your primary information from your doctor and only search for what you need to know.

Forgetting to be grateful. A great way for moms to de-stress is to focus on gratitude. Gratitude reduces the stress centers in the brain. Whether you’re grateful for your baby, your partner, or for having the time to take a nap, think about what you’re grateful for and write it down each day.

Worrying too much. Worrying only increases your stress. It makes your emotions more intense and takes a toll on you physically.

Lacking exercise. According to a study in the journal Psychology and Health, exercise can boost your mood, and a better mood makes for a better attitude. Remember, while working out 30 minutes most days is best, even a brisk walk can help if the gym doesn’t fit into your schedule.

Focusing on fear. Fears often stem from experiences that you’ve had or that you’ve heard repeatedly. One way to rid fears is to imagine them as something else (like dust bunnies under your bed, for instance) that you can easily sweep away.

Transferring tension. Stress hormones can change the biochemistry of your body. If you’re pregnant, you don’t want to transfer stress to your baby, you want your baby to be in an environment of love. If you’re dealing with an older child, a loving touch can transfer your calm during a tense situation.

Losing your center.Relaxation and meditation can help you focus your attention on the here and now, keeping you centered. Studies seem to indicate that meditation may even help with morning sickness during pregnancy.

Taking too much advice. Other people may be giving you advice. While it’s because they care, it can also be stressing you out more than you realize. You can acknowledge it and thank them, but ultimately making your own decision is better for your family.

Expecting too much. You hope to do everything right as a mom, but it’s not always going to happen. You can have a plan, but don’t sweat it when it doesn’t go perfectly. A healthy attitude allows you to be flexible and accept that a different outcome is also ok.

Getting hung up. Instead of getting hung up on things like weight gain, stretch marks, and varicose veins, recognize that what matters is how you react to these and other things going on in your life. You may not have control over it, but you always have control over your emotional reaction, your attitude. Change what you can and let the rest go.

Overthinking. If you’re becoming a mom for the first time, you might be worried about what it might mean to your career, your relationship with your partner, or any number of things that may change. No woman can know in advance the full impact of being a mom. Be true to who you are and focus only on what’s important in your life at this moment and what you want at this time. The rest will fall into place.

What’s your idea of the perfect mom and how have you been trying to ‘measure up’? Share it with me in the comments below. Then, if you’re ready to end the stress of trying to measure up, take my quick Perfectionist Self-Assessment. Discover what’s so amazing about YOU – and how to truly enjoy it!