tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post8011806444142472352..comments2016-11-08T08:24:28.039-08:00Comments on This Gay Relationship: A Closer Look at This Gay RelationshipRick Modienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-78723164913551544512013-05-19T08:15:00.074-07:002013-05-19T08:15:00.074-07:00Justin, I&#39;m so sorry for not responding to you...Justin, I&#39;m so sorry for not responding to your comment above much sooner. Normally, comments I receive from readers come to me in my email box, so I know they&#39;re there, what post they&#39;re attached to, and so I can moderate and publish them. Yours didn&#39;t for some reason. I just discovered it today. Again, my apologies. <br /><br />It&#39;s always thrilling for me to know readers have an interest in what I write, and that they take the time to leave a comment. That&#39;s why I respond to every comment I receive (those that aren&#39;t spam, of course). I consider the connection I have with my readers to be very important, and I&#39;m always hopeful I&#39;ll write something that will at the very least provide comfort, if not help. <br /><br />The whole music thing has been an interesting one for Chris and me. For the most part, our tastes are the same, particularly when it comes to club music. While there are nearly ten years between us (I&#39;m the eldest), we both agree on what constitutes danceable music, and what is highly repetitive and annoying. So leaving the clubs behind in our past was easy–we no longer needed them to meet someone, and neither one of us had an interest in the dance music of today, either to listen or dance to.<br /><br />(I hasten to add, Chris and I don&#39;t agree on every type of music. He will always love heavy metal, which I won&#39;t listen to, and classical, which I will listen to sometimes, depending on how plodding it is.) <br /><br />Justin, I smiled when I read your last line. That is what love is all about, isn&#39;t it? Two people will never agree on absolutely everything. But, as you and I both know, that should never be the priority in a relationship. By truly loving someone else, we gain so much more than we lose, whatever it might be, and it&#39;s important to always keep that in mind. (My smile was because I know you&#39;re in the right place to experience another great love in your life, and I hope it happens when you want it and you&#39;re ready.) <br /><br />Again, my sincere apologies. I hope you haven&#39;t lost your patience with me, and that you&#39;re still checking back to read my response to your last comment. I&#39;d love to hear from you again.<br /><br />All the best. Rick Modienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-35749343717590040672013-05-01T07:40:13.255-07:002013-05-01T07:40:13.255-07:00Rick,
I love the way you reply to all of your com...Rick,<br /><br />I love the way you reply to all of your comments and I was looking forward to seeing what you wrote back to me today. You have a really good heart and your entire blog is an inspiration to guys like me. <br /><br />While our paths to love have been similar, I thought I&#39;d mention one off-beat difference that made me laugh when I read it. It was that you and Chris stopped going to clubs when the music evolved into that techno-electronic style. I tell my friends the same thing. However, I really liked it and missed out on it. Mark was the &quot;music guy&quot; in our relationship. He chose just about every piece of music that reached my ears. I wasn&#39;t particularly fond of Mark&#39;s musical tastes. In fact..at times I found them quite annoying...but he loved his music so much more than I ...It was just one of those little compromises you make when in a loving relationship. When he moved out and to another city, I found myself with no cds, Ipods, records, etc... It was really quiet at my house for a while. So the last 5 years has been fun re-discovering a Genre like electronica that I missed out on. I&#39;d do it all over again for the right guy. <br /><br />Justin Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-15500965554574186722013-04-30T21:13:40.944-07:002013-04-30T21:13:40.944-07:00Justin, there&#39;s so much I could respond to her...Justin, there&#39;s so much I could respond to here, but, for me, it all comes down to this:<br /><br />For fifteen years, you had a solid, loving relationship. That&#39;s fourteen years longer than the &quot;single-forever&quot; gay men you describe. Think about that. You had something that, by the looks of things, these other men will never experience. Ever. How sad is that? <br /><br />You know what it&#39;s like to love someone for not one, not two, not three, but fifteen years. And I mean REALLY love someone. Nothing trumps that–not travel, not a close-knit circle of gay friends, not attendance at high-profile events…nothing. And no one, not even Mark, can take that away from you. <br /><br />Everything that begins must also end. I don&#39;t need to tell you that&#39;s the nature of life on earth. Does it mean that because we’ll eventually lose people we love dearly, we shouldn’t love them at all? Of course not. We are all here for one purpose and one purpose only, and that is to love. If we’re not living in pursuit of love, then we’re wasting our time. <br /><br />No regrets, Justin. You did what you did. You got a lot out of it. More than most will ever know. And there&#39;s nothing to say it won&#39;t happen again. <br /><br />And don&#39;t settle. Never settle. Do what you know in your heart to be right and true. If you do that, you can never go wrong. <br /><br />Thank you so much for your interest in my blog, and for taking the time to write a wonderful comment. I really appreciate it.<br />Rick Modienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-60547129047251620042013-04-30T15:35:25.060-07:002013-04-30T15:35:25.060-07:00Man, what a great read. I just found your blog an...Man, what a great read. I just found your blog and share a lot of your values on life and relationships. Our stories are quite similar having started my long term relationship of 15 years around the same time as you and Chris did. Our relationship was not perfect but I was happy with the life we made and thought it would last until one of us passed away. However, my fairytale didn&#39;t go as planned when that relationship ended abruptly 5 years ago. <br /><br />Like you, Mark and I both previously had active social lives with our single gay friends but they slowly moved or simply drifted away over the years. Mark and I also never went back to any of the clubs we were so fond of when single. In hindsight, I think I should not have allowed those friendships to slip away nor do I think we should have boycotted the gay scene as much as we did. Why you ask? I found myself totally unprepared for dating and finding a new mate not having any gay friends living locally. I&#39;ll be 50 this year and I live my life so completely different than before and I&#39;ve managed to make a few local gay friends that come and go. It&#39;s been simply exhausting to be constantly putting myself out there and finding nothing but broken men who&#39;ve either settled into being single forever...with their close-knit circle of gay single friends. I meet so many of them these days and I have come to resent this type of man. 35-55, single, never been in a LTR longer than a year..yet has traveled the world, attends high-profile events... and has tons of friends in the gay community and goes to all the best parties and events my city has to offer. To be honest, I think at this point I&#39;d settle for that life but I am not welcome in that club. I have found men like this are extremely protective of their clique (for lack of a better term)and resent anyone trying to get in..maybe I&#39;d guard it too if I belonged to one. I think these guys spent their energies building their social life and companionship around friends while I was doing the same while with my ex. I guess my point is that next time around, I&#39;ll try to do things differently. <br /><br />Justin from FloridaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-433802809516038452012-06-09T22:32:23.505-07:002012-06-09T22:32:23.505-07:00I&#39;m pleased you found something helpful here.
...I&#39;m pleased you found something helpful here.<br />Actually, your bringing my attention to this piece I wrote over two years ago was good, because I reread it thoroughly, and I still agree with everything. I wouldn&#39;t change a thing.<br />Assuming you&#39;re in a relationship too, I hope you found comfort in my words or had what you share with your life partner validated.<br />If you have a specific question, I&#39;m here for you. You can ask it in a subsequent comment or in an email directly to me.<br />Otherwise, thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate them. I hope I can continue to be of service to you in other posts.Rick Modienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6834596026525717264.post-41952711365578537292012-06-09T21:26:21.288-07:002012-06-09T21:26:21.288-07:00THIS WAS VERY HELPFUL! THANK U AND I WISH YOU THE ...THIS WAS VERY HELPFUL! THANK U AND I WISH YOU THE BEST!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com