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Unscripted™ Entrepreneurship:A Business That Pays More Than Money, It Pays Time.

"Fastlane" is an entrepreneur discussion forum based on The Unscripted Entrepreneurial Framework (TUNEF) outlined in the two best-selling books by MJ DeMarco (The Millionaire Fastlane and UNSCRIPTED™). From multimillionaires to digital nomads, the forum features real entrepreneurs creating real businesses.

I'm sticking my neck out here because I know that SOME people will consider this topic along the same lines of "action-faking", "passion following", and other guru life coaching BS.

However, I'm going for my 3rd Gold on purpose with this thread.

Yes this will be a massive post, covering several posts actually. It gets deep and gets into tapping emotions sometimes. When you think you know what I'm talking about, I might actually spin it around on you later. If you really like what you read, make sure you pay attention.

My aim is not to convince you or "life coach" you. My aim is to help specific people who were once like me on this forum. When you read this thread, you will know who you are and you will understand why I am helping you and posting this. For everyone else that doesn't get it, this post just wasn't meant for you at this time of your life.

And yes, I posted this on another forum first. Why? I didn't know how some of you would take it. So I decided to post it elsewhere, get feedback, and refine it for here. Kinda like how Seinfeld and other comics try out their new jokes on smaller venues before doing them in front of larger crowds.

I'm going to give an intro here first on why I am posting this that will then lead into the actual posting. So here goes....

Intro/Background
Years ago I really thought I knew who I was. I was living a largely unscripted life for the most part and doing things my way.

In many ways, I was also still attached to the the "script" my parents and grandparents passed down to me, as well as society. Each time the script got in my way and I was let down by it, I grew more into the unscripted me.

These events lead me to certain beliefs, values, and goals. It helped me move forward to an unscripted life before MJ's book came out. Based on this, I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to be.

But see, life is funny in that way.You think you have it all figured out but many times you don't know the WHY behind those things. Many times you don't care to look into the WHY because "life happens" or you feel you know the real why already.

In 2008 I had a massive FTM. It was one of many and it was not my last. However, this one specific FTM lead me to huge financial success in my own business. Years later even with success in business, I found myself depressed over the same things that lead to my FTM in 2008.

So in 2015 I decided to do some soul searching. What come out of that is what I present to you below.

I didn't post this background information elsewhere. I wanted you all to know the background so you could see where I was coming from and why I posted it. The story jumps to the present day now below:

The Post

Every 12 months or so, I take a look at my goals and I figure out if what I completed is in alignment with what I want in life.

But the big question is, what is it I want?

And what do I do when my want's change?

It's be proven that depression can come from doing work that doesn't align with your core values, whether you know your core values or not. If you are stuck doing things daily that really do not fit you, wouldn't you be depressed too?

In 2015, my core values were:

Individuality

Freedom

Trust

Simplicity

Activeness

These past few days I re-evaluated my core values and came up with:

Simplicity

Creativity

Entrepreneurship

Stability

Autonomy

Now these words all mean something different, to different people. That's OK. What they mean to you when you make out your list is all that matters. Sometimes, these values can mean different things at different times to the same person...

It took me a few days actively thinking about these values ( from multiple different lists I pulled up online ) and thinking about my past, current, and future life. What I ended up with fits me now. This is key because what you want and need can change every year.

So why is this important?

As builders and entrepreneurs, you are going to get distracted with new shiny projects and ideas. Maybe in the middle of building your empire you get offered a sweet cushy executive job.

Maybe it's as simple as you get the urge to move to another city.

If you know your core values, you can compare these new projects, job offers, urges to change against the core values and see if it really makes sense to do so.

For a personal example, I took my core values above and made a personal mission statement:

"To solve problems with simplicity, creativity, and entrepreneurship while creating a full and stable life that provides autonomy"

If something comes up, I ask myself if it aligns with my core values and mission statement.

An example of this might be:

Work on new shiny Adsense project - Is it simple? Yes. Is it creative? No.

I found a no, so I should pass on this new shiny object

Got offered a cushy VP job at XYZ Inc - Is it simple? No

It also isn't entrepreneurial, so I need to pass on it

Found a new house I love, its $475,000 and I need a mortgage

It doesn't fit autonomy. I will feel obligated to pay my mortgage and do things to make sure it's paid like take a job or give up a trip I really wanted to go on maybe to pay the bills.

However, maybe I can find a creative and entrepreneurial way to still get this house, like live in for 6 months and AirBNB it the other 6 months of the year.

A lot of you might disagree with what I put above as examples.

You might say, a mortgage isn't a problem really. You need a house, its your dream house, its just one bill, it doesn't really impact your independence and freedom.

But this exercise is about how "I feel and I think". When you do yours, you use your feeling and wisdom that you live by. That's the whole idea of core values and how YOU personally understand them.

So if you had the same core values as me and made the same mission statement as me, it's no wonder you feel depressed and miserable working a J-O-B as the Director of some web agency. It's no wonder your miserable working on projects where none of your creativity shines through. It's no wonder your sick and worried all the time when you have no stability in your life bouncing from girlfriend to girlfriend while moving to a different city and changing jobs every 3 months ( if stability was one of your core values, as it is for me ).

Get the picture?

Knowing your core values is like knowing your goals.

Once you figure them out, you can make better decisions about what choices you make in life. Backing that up with a mission statement ( personal ) will further strengthen that.

BTW, your core values and mission statement can be different from the ones you pick for your business.

One last thing I do to further ensure I stay on track is to add in Priorities.

My priorities for 2015 where these:

Family

Charity & Faith

Building Net Worth

I haven't figured out my priorities yet for this year since I just changed my core values and mission statement for the next 12 months, but once I figure those out I will share here.

Since I know my core values, my mission statement, and my priorities I am never stuck trying to figure out, "what do I do?" when presented with a decision I need to make. I also know exactly how to define my goals for the year, month, week, and day because my goals are going to be reflections of my values, mission statement, and priorities.

For example, I'm not going to go through with, or make new goals, that have me trying to land a job with higher pay. That doesn't fit in anywhere. Im also not going to make goals that have a high % of violating any of my value and priorities in the future.

I'm not going to make goals that don't reflect my values, mission statement, and priorities. I'm also going to know what I always need to be doing without second thought since I make decisions based on these values, missions statement and priorities.

And because I'm doing things that align with me and my values, I'm going to be fulfilled and happy regardless if I hit the goals I make 100% or not.

This is why you have to be brutally honest with yourself in doing this exercise.

You may even need to be like me and figure out values, then rework them daily for the next week to get down to what really resonates with you and is honest with you. Then take a couple days to refine your mission statement and priorities to make sure they really are truly you.

Say I made one goal of making $100,000 in 12 months with Amazon Kindle and at the end of the year I miss it. I only made $45,000 instead.

Would I be sad for missing my goal? Maybe, but really only because I knew I could have done better and I really needed the extra money. However, I won't feel miserable or depressed because I was doing work and aligning my future with what resonated with me and fits me.

Working on Amazon Kindle projects more than likely would be:

Simple - It's not hard to write content

Creative - I can write about any topic and any when I pick one, any idea in that topic with a touch of flair

Entrepreneurial - I'm working for myself, no one tells me how to do it, sky is the limit income wise

Stable - Maybe not rich and wealthy, but once the ball is rolling it can be stable and recurring

Autonomy - I have freedom and independance and options working on these projects

So if I miss my goal, all is not lost.

Now think of yourself with the goal to make $100,000 and you're in a job. You have the same values, but the only way you can get more money is to convince your boss to give you a raise, or change jobs to another company. Even if you hit $100k at another company, you are not in alignment with your values and you will have this nagging and unfulfilled desire.

It's not hard to prove either.

Look at all the depressed and sad people in the world around you. Maybe they are family members, co-workers, friends, or just people you overhear at Qdoba eating lunch next to you.

You think those people are actively doing exercises like this? Or do you think they are reacting to their surroundings like lost sheep in the woods?

Do yourself a favor....

Figure out your true, real core values. Spend several days on it

Make a mission statement around them

Figure out your top 3 priorities

Erase your old goals and make new ones based on #1-3 above. Make sure every goal fits and doesn't violate a core value or priority.

Once your goals are set, set smaller daily, weekly, and monthly goals to hit those larger goals. Make sure these smaller goals that set you up to your larger goals don't violate values or priorities.

In 6 or 12 months, re-evaluate who you are and your values. Adapt if need be.

So far so good here and I'm looking forward to reading more. As for getting in touch with yourself and figuring out your core values/mission statement/goals what has worked for you? I've always had trouble digging deep and truly coming up with something meaningful.

I'm sticking my neck out here because I know that SOME people will consider this topic along the same lines of "action-faking", "passion following", and other guru life coaching BS.

However, I'm going for my 3rd Gold on purpose with this thread.

Yes this will be a massive post, covering several posts actually. It gets deep and gets into tapping emotions sometimes. When you think you know what I'm talking about, I might actually spin it around on you later. If you really like what you read, make sure you pay attention.

My aim is not to convince you or "life coach" you. My aim is to help specific people who were once like me on this forum. When you read this thread, you will know who you are and you will understand why I am helping you and posting this. For everyone else that doesn't get it, this post just wasn't meant for you at this time of your life.

And yes, I posted this on another forum first. Why? I didn't know how some of you would take it. So I decided to post it elsewhere, get feedback, and refine it for here. Kinda like how Seinfeld and other comics try out their new jokes on smaller venues before doing them in front of larger crowds.

I'm going to give an intro here first on why I am posting this that will then lead into the actual posting. So here goes....

Intro/Background
Years ago I really thought I knew who I was. I was living a largely unscripted life for the most part and doing things my way.

In many ways, I was also still attached to the the "script" my parents and grandparents passed down to me, as well as society. Each time the script got in my way and I was let down by it, I grew more into the unscripted me.

These events lead me to certain beliefs, values, and goals. It helped me move forward to an unscripted life before MJ's book came out. Based on this, I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to be.

But see, life is funny in that way.You think you have it all figured out but many times you don't know the WHY behind those things. Many times you don't care to look into the WHY because "life happens" or you feel you know the real why already.

In 2008 I had a massive FTM. It was one of many and it was not my last. However, this one specific FTM lead me to huge financial success in my own business. Years later even with success in business, I found myself depressed over the same things that lead to my FTM in 2008.

So in 2015 I decided to do some soul searching. What come out of that is what I present to you below.

I didn't post this background information elsewhere. I wanted you all to know the background so you could see where I was coming from and why I posted it. The story jumps to the present day now below:

The Post

Every 12 months or so, I take a look at my goals and I figure out if what I completed is in alignment with what I want in life.

But the big question is, what is it I want?

And what do I do when my want's change?

It's be proven that depression can come from doing work that doesn't align with your core values, whether you know your core values or not. If you are stuck doing things daily that really do not fit you, wouldn't you be depressed too?

In 2015, my core values were:

Individuality

Freedom

Trust

Simplicity

Activeness

These past few days I re-evaluated my core values and came up with:

Simplicity

Creativity

Entrepreneurship

Stability

Autonomy

Now these words all mean something different, to different people. That's OK. What they mean to you when you make out your list is all that matters. Sometimes, these values can mean different things at different times to the same person...

It took me a few days actively thinking about these values ( from multiple different lists I pulled up online ) and thinking about my past, current, and future life. What I ended up with fits me now. This is key because what you want and need can change every year.

So why is this important?

As builders and entrepreneurs, you are going to get distracted with new shiny projects and ideas. Maybe in the middle of building your empire you get offered a sweet cushy executive job.

Maybe it's as simple as you get the urge to move to another city.

If you know your core values, you can compare these new projects, job offers, urges to change against the core values and see if it really makes sense to do so.

For a personal example, I took my core values above and made a personal mission statement:

"To solve problems with simplicity, creativity, and entrepreneurship while creating a full and stable life that provides autonomy"

If something comes up, I ask myself if it aligns with my core values and mission statement.

An example of this might be:

Work on new shiny Adsense project - Is it simple? Yes. Is it creative? No.

I found a no, so I should pass on this new shiny object

Got offered a cushy VP job at XYZ Inc - Is it simple? No

It also isn't entrepreneurial, so I need to pass on it

Found a new house I love, its $475,000 and I need a mortgage

It doesn't fit autonomy. I will feel obligated to pay my mortgage and do things to make sure it's paid like take a job or give up a trip I really wanted to go on maybe to pay the bills.

However, maybe I can find a creative and entrepreneurial way to still get this house, like live in for 6 months and AirBNB it the other 6 months of the year.

A lot of you might disagree with what I put above as examples.

You might say, a mortgage isn't a problem really. You need a house, its your dream house, its just one bill, it doesn't really impact your independence and freedom.

But this exercise is about how "I feel and I think". When you do yours, you use your feeling and wisdom that you live by. That's the whole idea of core values and how YOU personally understand them.

So if you had the same core values as me and made the same mission statement as me, it's no wonder you feel depressed and miserable working a J-O-B as the Director of some web agency. It's no wonder your miserable working on projects where none of your creativity shines through. It's no wonder your sick and worried all the time when you have no stability in your life bouncing from girlfriend to girlfriend while moving to a different city and changing jobs every 3 months ( if stability was one of your core values, as it is for me ).

Get the picture?

Knowing your core values is like knowing your goals.

Once you figure them out, you can make better decisions about what choices you make in life. Backing that up with a mission statement ( personal ) will further strengthen that.

BTW, your core values and mission statement can be different from the ones you pick for your business.

One last thing I do to further ensure I stay on track is to add in Priorities.

My priorities for 2015 where these:

Family

Charity & Faith

Building Net Worth

I haven't figured out my priorities yet for this year since I just changed my core values and mission statement for the next 12 months, but once I figure those out I will share here.

Since I know my core values, my mission statement, and my priorities I am never stuck trying to figure out, "what do I do?" when presented with a decision I need to make. I also know exactly how to define my goals for the year, month, week, and day because my goals are going to be reflections of my values, mission statement, and priorities.

For example, I'm not going to go through with, or make new goals, that have me trying to land a job with higher pay. That doesn't fit in anywhere. Im also not going to make goals that have a high % of violating any of my value and priorities in the future.

I'm not going to make goals that don't reflect my values, mission statement, and priorities. I'm also going to know what I always need to be doing without second thought since I make decisions based on these values, missions statement and priorities.

And because I'm doing things that align with me and my values, I'm going to be fulfilled and happy regardless if I hit the goals I make 100% or not.

This is why you have to be brutally honest with yourself in doing this exercise.

You may even need to be like me and figure out values, then rework them daily for the next week to get down to what really resonates with you and is honest with you. Then take a couple days to refine your mission statement and priorities to make sure they really are truly you.

Say I made one goal of making $100,000 in 12 months with Amazon Kindle and at the end of the year I miss it. I only made $45,000 instead.

Would I be sad for missing my goal? Maybe, but really only because I knew I could have done better and I really needed the extra money. However, I won't feel miserable or depressed because I was doing work and aligning my future with what resonated with me and fits me.

Working on Amazon Kindle projects more than likely would be:

Simple - It's not hard to write content

Creative - I can write about any topic and any when I pick one, any idea in that topic with a touch of flair

Entrepreneurial - I'm working for myself, no one tells me how to do it, sky is the limit income wise

Stable - Maybe not rich and wealthy, but once the ball is rolling it can be stable and recurring

Autonomy - I have freedom and independance and options working on these projects

So if I miss my goal, all is not lost.

Now think of yourself with the goal to make $100,000 and you're in a job. You have the same values, but the only way you can get more money is to convince your boss to give you a raise, or change jobs to another company. Even if you hit $100k at another company, you are not in alignment with your values and you will have this nagging and unfulfilled desire.

It's not hard to prove either.

Look at all the depressed and sad people in the world around you. Maybe they are family members, co-workers, friends, or just people you overhear at Qdoba eating lunch next to you.

You think those people are actively doing exercises like this? Or do you think they are reacting to their surroundings like lost sheep in the woods?

Do yourself a favor....

Figure out your true, real core values. Spend several days on it

Make a mission statement around them

Figure out your top 3 priorities

Erase your old goals and make new ones based on #1-3 above. Make sure every goal fits and doesn't violate a core value or priority.

Once your goals are set, set smaller daily, weekly, and monthly goals to hit those larger goals. Make sure these smaller goals that set you up to your larger goals don't violate values or priorities.

In 6 or 12 months, re-evaluate who you are and your values. Adapt if need be.

Click to expand...

Love this post. I have done several core value exercises over the past few years. For comparison (not that a comparison offers anything of value beyond observation), mine were;

1. Autonomy
2. Venture
3. Influence
4. Conceive
5. Calmness

I like that you crafted a mission statement, I hadn't gotten that far. I'll give it a whirl here;

" Conceive novel solutions that influence others through a venture that affords me autonomy and a calm environment."

... sounds viable. I think this fits the mold of copywriting relatively well, which is my current path of choice.

I'm sticking my neck out here because I know that SOME people will consider this topic along the same lines of "action-faking", "passion following", and other guru life coaching BS.

However, I'm going for my 3rd Gold on purpose with this thread.

Yes this will be a massive post, covering several posts actually. It gets deep and gets into tapping emotions sometimes. When you think you know what I'm talking about, I might actually spin it around on you later. If you really like what you read, make sure you pay attention.

My aim is not to convince you or "life coach" you. My aim is to help specific people who were once like me on this forum. When you read this thread, you will know who you are and you will understand why I am helping you and posting this. For everyone else that doesn't get it, this post just wasn't meant for you at this time of your life.

And yes, I posted this on another forum first. Why? I didn't know how some of you would take it. So I decided to post it elsewhere, get feedback, and refine it for here. Kinda like how Seinfeld and other comics try out their new jokes on smaller venues before doing them in front of larger crowds.

I'm going to give an intro here first on why I am posting this that will then lead into the actual posting. So here goes....

Intro/Background
Years ago I really thought I knew who I was. I was living a largely unscripted life for the most part and doing things my way.

In many ways, I was also still attached to the the "script" my parents and grandparents passed down to me, as well as society. Each time the script got in my way and I was let down by it, I grew more into the unscripted me.

These events lead me to certain beliefs, values, and goals. It helped me move forward to an unscripted life before MJ's book came out. Based on this, I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to be.

But see, life is funny in that way.You think you have it all figured out but many times you don't know the WHY behind those things. Many times you don't care to look into the WHY because "life happens" or you feel you know the real why already.

In 2008 I had a massive FTM. It was one of many and it was not my last. However, this one specific FTM lead me to huge financial success in my own business. Years later even with success in business, I found myself depressed over the same things that lead to my FTM in 2008.

So in 2015 I decided to do some soul searching. What come out of that is what I present to you below.

I didn't post this background information elsewhere. I wanted you all to know the background so you could see where I was coming from and why I posted it. The story jumps to the present day now below:

The Post

Every 12 months or so, I take a look at my goals and I figure out if what I completed is in alignment with what I want in life.

But the big question is, what is it I want?

And what do I do when my want's change?

It's be proven that depression can come from doing work that doesn't align with your core values, whether you know your core values or not. If you are stuck doing things daily that really do not fit you, wouldn't you be depressed too?

In 2015, my core values were:

Individuality

Freedom

Trust

Simplicity

Activeness

These past few days I re-evaluated my core values and came up with:

Simplicity

Creativity

Entrepreneurship

Stability

Autonomy

Now these words all mean something different, to different people. That's OK. What they mean to you when you make out your list is all that matters. Sometimes, these values can mean different things at different times to the same person...

It took me a few days actively thinking about these values ( from multiple different lists I pulled up online ) and thinking about my past, current, and future life. What I ended up with fits me now. This is key because what you want and need can change every year.

So why is this important?

As builders and entrepreneurs, you are going to get distracted with new shiny projects and ideas. Maybe in the middle of building your empire you get offered a sweet cushy executive job.

Maybe it's as simple as you get the urge to move to another city.

If you know your core values, you can compare these new projects, job offers, urges to change against the core values and see if it really makes sense to do so.

For a personal example, I took my core values above and made a personal mission statement:

"To solve problems with simplicity, creativity, and entrepreneurship while creating a full and stable life that provides autonomy"

If something comes up, I ask myself if it aligns with my core values and mission statement.

An example of this might be:

Work on new shiny Adsense project - Is it simple? Yes. Is it creative? No.

I found a no, so I should pass on this new shiny object

Got offered a cushy VP job at XYZ Inc - Is it simple? No

It also isn't entrepreneurial, so I need to pass on it

Found a new house I love, its $475,000 and I need a mortgage

It doesn't fit autonomy. I will feel obligated to pay my mortgage and do things to make sure it's paid like take a job or give up a trip I really wanted to go on maybe to pay the bills.

However, maybe I can find a creative and entrepreneurial way to still get this house, like live in for 6 months and AirBNB it the other 6 months of the year.

A lot of you might disagree with what I put above as examples.

You might say, a mortgage isn't a problem really. You need a house, its your dream house, its just one bill, it doesn't really impact your independence and freedom.

But this exercise is about how "I feel and I think". When you do yours, you use your feeling and wisdom that you live by. That's the whole idea of core values and how YOU personally understand them.

So if you had the same core values as me and made the same mission statement as me, it's no wonder you feel depressed and miserable working a J-O-B as the Director of some web agency. It's no wonder your miserable working on projects where none of your creativity shines through. It's no wonder your sick and worried all the time when you have no stability in your life bouncing from girlfriend to girlfriend while moving to a different city and changing jobs every 3 months ( if stability was one of your core values, as it is for me ).

Get the picture?

Knowing your core values is like knowing your goals.

Once you figure them out, you can make better decisions about what choices you make in life. Backing that up with a mission statement ( personal ) will further strengthen that.

BTW, your core values and mission statement can be different from the ones you pick for your business.

One last thing I do to further ensure I stay on track is to add in Priorities.

My priorities for 2015 where these:

Family

Charity & Faith

Building Net Worth

I haven't figured out my priorities yet for this year since I just changed my core values and mission statement for the next 12 months, but once I figure those out I will share here.

Since I know my core values, my mission statement, and my priorities I am never stuck trying to figure out, "what do I do?" when presented with a decision I need to make. I also know exactly how to define my goals for the year, month, week, and day because my goals are going to be reflections of my values, mission statement, and priorities.

For example, I'm not going to go through with, or make new goals, that have me trying to land a job with higher pay. That doesn't fit in anywhere. Im also not going to make goals that have a high % of violating any of my value and priorities in the future.

I'm not going to make goals that don't reflect my values, mission statement, and priorities. I'm also going to know what I always need to be doing without second thought since I make decisions based on these values, missions statement and priorities.

And because I'm doing things that align with me and my values, I'm going to be fulfilled and happy regardless if I hit the goals I make 100% or not.

This is why you have to be brutally honest with yourself in doing this exercise.

You may even need to be like me and figure out values, then rework them daily for the next week to get down to what really resonates with you and is honest with you. Then take a couple days to refine your mission statement and priorities to make sure they really are truly you.

Say I made one goal of making $100,000 in 12 months with Amazon Kindle and at the end of the year I miss it. I only made $45,000 instead.

Would I be sad for missing my goal? Maybe, but really only because I knew I could have done better and I really needed the extra money. However, I won't feel miserable or depressed because I was doing work and aligning my future with what resonated with me and fits me.

Working on Amazon Kindle projects more than likely would be:

Simple - It's not hard to write content

Creative - I can write about any topic and any when I pick one, any idea in that topic with a touch of flair

Entrepreneurial - I'm working for myself, no one tells me how to do it, sky is the limit income wise

Stable - Maybe not rich and wealthy, but once the ball is rolling it can be stable and recurring

Autonomy - I have freedom and independance and options working on these projects

So if I miss my goal, all is not lost.

Now think of yourself with the goal to make $100,000 and you're in a job. You have the same values, but the only way you can get more money is to convince your boss to give you a raise, or change jobs to another company. Even if you hit $100k at another company, you are not in alignment with your values and you will have this nagging and unfulfilled desire.

It's not hard to prove either.

Look at all the depressed and sad people in the world around you. Maybe they are family members, co-workers, friends, or just people you overhear at Qdoba eating lunch next to you.

You think those people are actively doing exercises like this? Or do you think they are reacting to their surroundings like lost sheep in the woods?

Do yourself a favor....

Figure out your true, real core values. Spend several days on it

Make a mission statement around them

Figure out your top 3 priorities

Erase your old goals and make new ones based on #1-3 above. Make sure every goal fits and doesn't violate a core value or priority.

Once your goals are set, set smaller daily, weekly, and monthly goals to hit those larger goals. Make sure these smaller goals that set you up to your larger goals don't violate values or priorities.

In 6 or 12 months, re-evaluate who you are and your values. Adapt if need be.

Click to expand...

i completely get this but right now at the stage im at im temporarily giving up my values to earn $10 an hour until i can get a $4,000 car to get by, my own apartment and the ability to have some money to save up for my business, so im not quite there yet but who knows what the future could hold so i'll keep this in mind

So far so good here and I'm looking forward to reading more. As for getting in touch with yourself and figuring out your core values/mission statement/goals what has worked for you? I've always had trouble digging deep and truly coming up with something meaningful.

Click to expand...

There are a few that helped me. Some I will speak about now... some I will need to speak about later as it touches the future posts in this thread.

I think overwhelmingly I had to be honest with myself. Really get to the core of myself without outside influences trying to win over a different term/choice.

For example, we all more then likely want to be rich. Have a fast/awesome car, go on vacations, know lots of famous people, etc. That's a worldly view that was injected in me when I was young.

But do I really want a fast car? Really?

Why do I want a fast car?

Because it's cool

Why do I need a cool car?

I'll have chicks and lots of friends

Why do I need chicks and lots of friends

Because I don't want to be a lonely loser

Why do you think you will be a lonely loser

Because I didn't have cool things as a kid and I was lonely and I hated that

Why is that so awful and bad? Why do you feel you need friends to lift you up

You fill in the blank here and hit your core

By the time you get to the red, you should really know somewhat what's really driving you to your "wants" and "needs". You'll get a taste of your core.

You might have to do this several times over and over though. You'll want to ask slightly different questions on each why to really hone in on things.

When I did this exercise I questioned everything I did and I changed the questions each time I did it. I spent weeks on this ( not 24 hours a day though ).

The 3rd or 4th time I did the "car" example above, the red outcome changed 3x. The last change was the real driving force I had and I realized having a fast car wasn't the answer, but something else entirely. That "something else" lead me to one of my values.

I also had to understand that what 1 value meant to me, could mean something else to you and something else to my mother. I needed to pick the meaning based on ME and not outside influences.

For example, the word freedom means different things to people on this forum. When I first picked freedom, I was using it as how I thought most people would interpret it. It just didn't sit well for me after a few days. I realized that what I thought was freedom, was really autonomy to me. Someone else might mix autonomy and freedom together though. In the end, I realized I had to go with the words and meanings that were important to me.

Also, doing the Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, Strengths Finder, and a few other tests helped me find my values. I actually came up with my values after many many many tries at asking the right WHYs and evaluating word choices and meanings. Later on, I did the MBTI and Enneagram and Strengths Finder tests and many of the values I picked out, came out in those tests so they basically confirmed what I already had picked.

However, someone could take them and do the extra work involved afterward ( studying the results ) and come up with theirs that way. Of note, these tests do not actually give you your values. Once I learned what I was in each, I did further research on my own on those results and found the connections to my values in that later research.

For example, in MBTI I am an INTJ-T. I researched afterward for a few weeks and found some research that indicated that INTJs tend to lean on certain values. For the Enneagram I did the same and found out I was a 5w4 sx which a lot of INTJ's are ( 5w6 and 5w4 ) and found some research about values 5w4's have. Etc....

It was a good feeling to get the confirmation though. My extensive and exhaustive WHY exercise along with gut checks and understandings of term choices really felt like it paid off.

I started off with a huge list of values, like 30+.

I went to different websites just to look at what values even were. Some sites had a lot, some had a few. I put them all in one huge list and spent days going over it again and again until I got to around 30 that I felt fit me.

After that, I spent a lot of time asking myself which really fit me and which ones were similar that I could maybe get rid of.

Day after day, I went from 30 to 25 to 20 to 15 to 10 to 7 to 6 to just 5 core values that I knew felt right to me and fit me.

5 is not a magic number. At 5 I knew I couldn't take away any more. I also knew I didn't want to add back in what I already took away to make it larger than 5 again.

I did the same for the mission statement.

I probably wrote that out 100 times using all the words from the 5 values I had. When I nailed it, I knew those values really fit me because the mission statement stood out as something I knew wouldn't change.

Even to this day in 2017, the original list of values and mission statement didn't change much from 2015. Some of the words are different and the outline is a bit different, but the WHYs are the same behind it and not much really changed.

I did grow and mature and my needs somewhat changed and that's the main reason for the value and mission statement change. It wasn't because I picked the wrong things and needed to pivot. However, the majority is the same.

But it all starts with being brutally honest.

Then it transforms to "what's the real WHY".

Then it's the hard work you need to put in to make sure what you pick, is really you and not some outside influence. This is maybe the hardest part because I've watched some people do it in just 5 minutes. I have to question if they really are in tune with themselves at their core everyday to really be happy with that 5 minute decision they made. I spent weeks/months on this little by little, I had to find my core.. are other people really at their core so much this can be done in 5 minutes?

Then it was confirming it with time and outside tests like MBTI. My values and mission statement stood the test of time and another revision pretty much. I also got confirmation from other outside tests.

If you know anything about INTJs, you know we love to be analytical. That could be 50% of the reason I did this so exhaustingly.

It had to be right. Because at the end of the day, we're talking about your happiness and your future success. I can't see too many things much higher than that outside of family.

I combined them all into 1 huge list, dedup'd the list, and starting crossing out the ones I knew I didn't care about or feel anything about.

After that, I looked up the words I didn't know or understand well and crossed out more I didn't feel in my gut.

What was left was still a large list, but I took the action to start saying things like, "Am I really a person that values Honesty, or is it Truth I really value?". These things look and seem really similar, so I had to think about which one was more "me" and the WHY behind it.

After a few go arounds, I ended up with a little over 30+.

That's when the fun kicks in because for me personally I needed to take a break and come back to that list of 30+ every few days and whittle away some a few at a time. Sometimes I added them back in and took another out instead.

I took my time because I didn't want my mood, memory, or outside influences to persuade me. I also wanted my subconscious to think about the list in it's own time and help me sort out what was really me.

Eventually, I got down to 5. The hardest stretch was the time period between 10 and 5 because it was a real battle to keep chipping away at who I really was. This period took the longest and really made me question some deep held beliefs I had my whole life. It also helped me uncover some surprising WHYs I never really thought about before in my life.

When I got down to my 5 core values, I took a break for about 2 weeks.

I didn't take immediate action.

I let it sink in this is who I am and asked myself how I felt about it. I wanted to make sure it was "right" and "felt good" so I didn't have any issues going forward.

Once I took that breather and I knew nothing would get changed on my list, I made my mission statement.

It took me a while to really understand the mission statement. I didn't want to box myself into anything that was too confined, but I wanted something that would help me define projects and later goals too.

In the end, I probably wrote it out 100 times until it really sat well with me:"To solve problems with simplicity, creativity, and entrepreneurship while creating a full and stable life that provides autonomy"

The mission statement uses all the words from my 5 values.

Once I understand the real WHY behind each of my values, I understood why this mission statement was perfect. Let me explain a little how I view the meaning of each value to me personally. Maybe that will help with how I finally created the mission statement that was right for me:

Simplicity - I love simple strategies, solutions, and outcomes. Kinda odd for an INTJ ( how other people see it ), but I feel that I love to take complex things, use a ton of analysis and thought and complex mapping, and spit out a simply beautiful answer to it all. Anytime my life was simple, I loved it. Anytime my life was complex, I hated it. Simple to me is easy and I'd rather sometimes take a simple solution over the right solution depending on the case.

Creativity - I use to value individuality. By asking tough WHYs and getting deep, I realized it wasn't about being individual, it was about expressing my creativity. If I am creative, I will an individual by default. Is it no wonder I grew up building things, designing things, and trying to break the mold in everything I did? I realized the root was trying to let my creativity out. The fact I scored a 5w4 and not a 5w6 on my Enneagram backs this up.

Entrepreneurship - I've worked a lot of jobs for other people. I always hated it. I do have somewhat an authority issue, but not because I'm jealous or hateful/resentful, but because I feel titles mean nothing without proof of how you got the title of authority in the first place. Just because you came out of college, stayed in your job for 3 years and got the title of VP of Marketing, doesn't mean I respect you or you have authority over me. Can you run a multi-million dollar company on your own dime with no outside help? If not, don't think you will be my authority just because you have the title. Also, I learned a job didn't let me be creative ( see value ), it wasn't stable ( another value ), it didn't provide autonomy ( see value ) and many times, it wasn't simple. I had limited options in a job and my value ( financial ) was limited to what others thought I was worth. Being an Entrepreneur was going to be my only way out.

Stability - I've been broke, and I've had a ton of money in my bank account. Wanna know what I really loved? Having stability in my life. I didn't have to go to bed worried about bills or how I would provide for my kids and wife. I could chose a stable option over an option that wasn't stable because I didnt have to think about making a few extra dollars to pay bills this month. I didn't have to make rash last minute choices in my life...

Autonomy - I use to list Freedom/Independence here. However I learned that autonomy was the real WHY behind it all. Autonomy is the freedom to pick and chose the options and choices I want, without having to ask permission or have others in the mix. That's what it means for me. This ties in deeply with my other values on different levels.

So when I made my mission statement, I had to think back on my entire life and the good/bad choices I made and why I made them. This lead me to how I felt about each value and what I wanted for my future.

With all of that, I wanted a mission statement that could me to keep me aligned with my values, but also stay flexible enough to fit me uniquely.

Today, when I am faced with an issue I simply look at my mission statement and ask myself, "Am I solving a problem with simplicity, creativity, and entrepreneurship while creating a full and stable life that provides autonomy?"

However, I might have something come up where a big project lands in my lap.. say being offered a CMO position at an ecommerce giant ( this actually happened to me ).

I'd use my mission statement to help me find the right answer, instead of leaping forward just for the money or title...

Being a CMO of an established larger company is no joke.

Is being an CMO simple? No

Does being a CMO allow me to be creative? Possibly, but I would have restrictions with brand guidelines or industry regulations

Does being a CMO align with entrepreneurship? No

Is being a CMO a stable job? I think not because jobs are not stable. Also CMOs tend to leave companies after 3-4 years.

Does being a CMO provide autonomy? I say no. Reporting to CEO or board as well as investors on your decisions.

Your thought process might have lead you to different answers than mine above, but this is all about ME. See why that's important in this exercise?

I got several no's and some gray maybes on the CMO choice above. However, it would only take 1 no for me to ditch the opportunity and keep trucking on my already established plan I was on before this opportunity came up.

Taking on a CMO role does not fit my mission statement. It's not me since my values make up my mission statement.

Sure I could have made some good money, but I've been there before and I've been miserable. Ultimately I would have not been happy in that CMO role ( in real life I wasn't when I took it on ) and ended up depressed and miserable because it doesn't align with who I am deep down.

One thing I didn't really touch on was that being a CMO doesn't solve a problem.

It does to the company because they need the solutions a CMO would bring ( as well as filling that role ), but I'm not directly solving a real problem if you know what I mean.

That was a core piece of my mission statement that I built in on purpose. "to solve problems". Without this, my mission statement would be really generic and not have much direction. With it, I have a pretty defined view of the kind of tasks/choices I make.

For example, I might get the idea I want to create a huge Adsense site made from automated spun content ( I've done this before ). Does this project really "solve a problem"? Not really. Not when you really break down what that "problem" actually is.. it's not solving a real problem/need though building a generic spun content Adsense site. It also violates several other of my core values too ( it might be simple, but it's not creative or stable ).

I took it multiple times because sometimes I would get INTJ, sometimes I would get INFJ

After taking it every other day for about 2 weeks, I got INTJ 95% of the time

I was happy with this statistical relevance

I looked up what it meant to be an INTJ -T specifically at several online sites. You can't just learn everything from 1 site, so I spent time researching many sites and forums about INTJs and INTJ -T's if I could find it

Everything matched me perfectly, it was crazy, wild, and wicked awesome to learn

So why did I do this?

It helped me understand my weakness and strengths. It also showed me what INTJ's value ( further research after the test ).

Crazy enough, the values the sites broke down for INTJ's were almost 95% spot on with what I picked before I ever did this exercise. How's that for validating?

After learning this, I asked myself some more WHY's and tweaked some of my values a bit.

Sounds like a lot of work, but seriously folks this impacts your life and goals.

Instead of spending time dicking around on FB or making another useless Wordpress site, you could be doing this exercise and learning about your true you so you can improve your life and reach your goals.

I had my wife do the test too, and I learned so much about how to really interact with her and communicate. How to show her love she understands. How to parent my kids even and why she does the things she does... same for me. I learned what makes her tick and how to use that with my personality type.

Now start thinking about this....

This has a real business purpose as well.

I'm not saying you can make employees or customers take this test, but what if you took it and found out about you, and then read the other 15 personalities and learned what made those personalities tick? How could that 10x your business?

As a sales person, you could learn the types and then analyse someone on the spot and assume they are a certain type rather quickly based on some insights.

Personal Example:

I'm an INTJ -T. I know everything about this type now. Even the type of careers that these people fit into

Is it odd that I personally have either actually done several of these in a job, went to college to study them, or had a keen deep personal interest in them before I ever took this test?

Im an online marketer

I went to college to be an architect

I did web design and programming

I was going to start a personal finance business ( think edward jones )

I traded stock and forex

I'm writing non-fiction

I'm self employed ( it also said INTJ self employed tend to make more when self employed than in a JOB, which was true for me ).

I always thought I would like to have been a lawyer or judge

I look at my wife's test and learn about careers and they fit her too before she knew about this test

It said they tend to Teachers, stay at home mom's, and healthcare workers

My wife was a nurse before she decided to stay at home and homeschool our children

Wow

So now that I know what she and I value, what careers we would work in, our deep fears ( from the test above ) and what we desire ( also from the test above )... why couldn't I use this in my business and marketing tactics?

What stops me from going to Facebook and targeting all the Lawyers in my local area with an ad for online marketing services?

What about hitting up all those nurses with a T-Spring shirt?

The end product doesn't matter, but now I can write an ad or long sales form ( or short ) that really hits their nerves. Their pain points. Their values. Their desires. Their fears

I can speak their language

Now I must admit something to you, I haven't told you EVERYTHING.

I also took an Enneagram test. Which is similar to personality tests ( where I got the INTJ -t result ). I took mine here -> home

My result came back as 5w4 sx

A type 5 ( the 5 in 5w4 sx ) is a perfect fit for INTJs. I'm starting to see I did all this honestly ( and correctly ) since everything is matching up to other tests now. Yes, I took this test multiple times over a few days to ensure it was me

It tells me my fears and desires, which are spot on. If I learned other types, that's where I could create a shirt for nurses at T-Spring that could really hit a nerve with them. Same with marketing to Lawyers on Facebook for internet marketing services.. I know most of them will be INTJ's and I know what a lot of their fears and desires will be and I would use that in my copy.

This goes so much deeper than the values test I had you do, or the personality test I had you do. It mimics some of the same stuff, but really drills down a bit more.

When I take all this info in and look back on my values now, which help me shape my goals and priorities, I can start to figure out where I want to take my life and WHY I want to take it there.

I know my WHY, but I can start to figure out other people's WHYs now too.

Ultimately, I would like to use this to interact with my wife and kids better.

Deep down inside, I know I am going to use this for marketing and to talk to my customers better.

OK OK OK

So I know a lot of you really think this might be some BS and it touches on feelings and emotions. Your saying this is some crazy ass sh*t and that everyone has these fears and desires and that if you look hard enough, you will find any info you want to support any topic. You may also be thinking, "well I know who I am already and don't need this".

Trust me, I also thought this. That's why at 39 I am just now really learning about myself.

And this isn't to make me into some tree huggin hippie crystal waving lunatic ( sorry if you are one, I don't mean to offend ).

See, some of these things I *kinda* knew about me. Some of these things I wasn't sure about but knew I leaned to learn more about.

What really helped me was, I finally got validation that who am I isn't some strange socially awkward recluse that has a huge ego who needs fixing because the world tried to tell me to conform to their standard.

No, I learned who I am is natural and recognized. I don't have to second guess who I am and what I do. It's ok to not be an extrovert. It's ok that I spend a lot of time reading alone instead of going to parties and drinking and making aimless small talk. My fear of being useless is perfectly valid and I'm not just this depressed person always thinking about. In fact, I'm not depressed at all.. its just a natural fear for someone with my personality type actually.

I'm sure you can read into all this and see I had some self-doubt and some self-confidence issues. Mostly because I didn't know or understand myself. I didn't know INTJ was even a thing. I just let the world tell me who I should be. And even though I always rejected the world, I always had this small part of me that kept telling myself, "what if their right?".

Now that is gone.

Not only is that a burden off my shoulders, but I can focus on my strengths now instead of looking back in a small way. Because now I know my strengths, it isn't a guess anymore or some random introspection that I thought I might be good at because I felt it instead of knowing it.

In the end...

I recharge when alone, this is very important and I didn't understand this before. Before I felt guilty not spending time with the wife and kids. While this isn't an excuse to not give them attention, I understand I have to have alone time or else I can't function which removes a lot of that guilt

I know what makes me tick, therefor I know what makes others like me tick. I can use this for business gains

I know how to interact with my wife and what her needs and desires are a lot better

I have a deep sense of my real core values. I also deeply understand WHY I truly do have them

I know my weakness. Although I look to improve my strengths more, I know that my personality type naturally puts off health and can get really deep into depression. It isn't just me being lazy or mental. I have to put in efforts to combat this

I know my strengths. I use to think being a perfectionist was a weakness. 0-80% is generally better than the 80-95%. However, I know why I am a perfectionist and I see it as a strength now. What I learned from this exercise was HOW TO CONTROL IT so it doesn't overwhelm me.

I validated who I am and who I tend to be. This is burden lifted off of me mentally.

I know what careers ( and to some extent what business I could open ) that actually fit me. I also know what to stay away from.

I can only focus on 1 thing at a time. While we all know multi-tasking is a lie now, focusing on 1 thing is critical for the INTJ. I have to remove distractions more than others.

It takes me longer to go to sleep. I have to prepare for this so I get the proper rest because my mind never stops

I know why I have 1000 ideas a day, but hardly any execution on those new ideas ( and instead why I execute on my main focus only ). Now I can rework how to overcome this.

A lot more sh*t that would take too long to post here.

Am I happier of fulfilled yet?

I can say honestly I am.

While this is still all new to me and I am making plans based on it, I know I am happier for it.

Now I am working on the fulfilled part and I have a "game plan" and understanding to make it happen which puts me ahead of most of the world.

Im living out who I really am and what I really want. I wouldn't have fully known or understood this without doing these exercises.

Once you get this far you should really know who YOU are and what aligns with you.

Very important to understand because when you jump into business ( next posts ), the business you pick needs to align with you too.

I'll go over how my values, personality type, and CENTS ( from MJ ) helped me pick what business to get into.

.

Click to expand...

I have been doing these tests off and on for the last few years, digging deeper as I go. The way you approach it is phenomenal and will definitely help me progress. As an ENFP I don't always have the systematic approach down so thank you for that. I can't wait to follow along and learn more from someone else who is using tests like these coupled with their own research to better themselves.

Fun Fact: All these tests told me I should stay away from data centered careers (I.E. Finance, Accounting, Audit) which I worked in constantly my first 6-7 years out of school as a CPA. No wonder the money and titles weren't fulfilling huh? Haha.

If I would have taken these tests in my high school or college years and been shown how to properly assess and use them it would have saved me a ton of heartache. It also would have helped avoid most of those feelings of being constantly lost in multiple facets of my life during that time. It won't solve all your problems, but it is one hell of a tool if you are open to using it.

In my opinion, you have to treat your life like a business. If there is no vision, clearly defined goals, values, and guiding principals, success is impossible. You have to be clear about this, write it down, affirm it to yourself. The biggest change I made in my life was creating an affirmation journal (turned it into a personal APP lol) - every day I "agree" to my affirmations, write down what I learned, how I failed, what I'm grateful for, etc. And then query through it once a month.

Mental programming works, in my opinion. Although I 10000% agree what makes you rich is scale*magnitude - not "positive energy" gurus, etc. But the most important thing in my opinion is to first get your head right, clarify your goals, etc.

I used to think $1,000 was a lot of money. And I hate to always sound like I'm overly obsessed with MFL, but it really flipped my whole life upside down. I became national marketing director of a company at 23 years old and I remember specifically thinking "I figured my whole life out so early" and everything would be smooth sailing from there on out - my mind was just locked into something I was programmed to think I wanted.

The 16 personalities test outcome was very interesting to read, and after doing like you suggested (looking up more info on other sites), even on the first attempt the result seems very fitting. This is really interesting to read about when something speaks to you so much and you recognize yourself.
(I got back ISFJ-T by the way). I'll be doing the test again later on to see if anything changes.

Getting a clear view on personal values and goals really makes sense, and is what I think I've been doing all along, without knowing it. Looking at my current life and actions, not everything seems to align.
Food for thought.
Thanks for the write up. Following to read the rest

Wow @eliquid your posts are SPOT ON! I absolutely overstand what you mean as I have been experiencing similar for quite some time now and indeed, the empowering part of the whole equation is really being honest with oneself; this helps in sorting out the b.s. from what is necessary. I have been facing the good, the bad and the ugly about myself, I'm also getting to recognise where my strengths and weaknesses lie, and while I will not know every single thing about me, it IS helping me make changes necessary for me to succeed in different aspects of life.

We often speak about doing uncomfortable, yet sensible things to get ahead on the forum and when we are honest about who we are, what our principles are and the like, it helps overcome the discomfort, as we become more focused on what is important. As you have stated, as we grow on the journey, our core values change, but this is necessary, as life is about evolving and not being stagnant.

Your post helped put into words what I've been going through in my head for a while. Thanks for this, I am saving this post.

I'm a big fan of the enneagram personality types, and have been learning about them for the last 8 years or so.

I'm an 8w7 (i've taken the test at least 12 times with the same results. It was actually hard to discover my wing at 7 or 9 because I score so solidly as an 8)

Knowing that has helped me tremendously in my life.

When under stress I move towards type 5. In growth I move towards type 2.

So I've learned (am learning) to notice those traits in myself, and intentionally move towards 2 when I am stressed.

Knowing I am a type 8, by far my biggest value is autonomy.

(people familiar with 8's often think we are "controlling", and an unhealthy 8 certainly can be, but a healthy 8 is after autonomy [control over their own lives] which doesn't involve controlling others. By attempting to control others, a type 8 actually gives away their autonomy because controlling others is not possible, so that puts you dependent on their behaviors. TL;DR Outcome independence is big for me)

It also helps knowing I am married to a 5w4. Talk about a crazy mix haha.

We often speak about doing uncomfortable, yet sensible things to get ahead on the forum and when we are honest about who we are, what our principles are and the like, it helps overcome the discomfort, as we become more focused on what is important.

Before I get into my other deep posts ( coming up soon, I promise ).. I want to throw one more test at you.

This one is paid ( directly or via a book sale ) and it's the Strength Finder test.

***************

I know some of you feel like if you do all these exercises, it's a lot of work.

It's suppose to be.

You can't take one test/exercise and assume you have all the data. You can't just take the Enneagram test and think you found a shortcut and decide to not do the other tests. Hell, for someone like me I have to take each test multiple times to ensure I am getting the right data.

With that said, I present to you another exercise ( although this is optional, but I feel helpful ). Of note, this exercise costs money ( 2x ).

They also offer a Builder Profile test, which is slightly different and more aimed to Entrepreneurs. I would not advise taking only this test as a shortcut. Both tests offer AND do something different for you. The link to this Builder Test is -> About Entrepreneurial Profile 10 | gallupstrengthscenter.com

The top 4 are the most important out of the 10, and I have to say it fits me like a glove when it comes to business and being an entrepreneur.

While being in business means you may have to wear different hats to get things started and rolling, it's good to also know what you are naturally talented at so you can one day hone in on just these core strengths and insert other people into your business to handle the rest ( things you are not good at ).

I'm not able to post here MY larger and more in-depth StrengthFinder test ( Gallup Strengths Center Store | gallupstrengthscenter.com ) because for one, there is no public URL... and as a PDF, it's pretty big and comes in 5-6 PDF files that are 4-5 pages long each, but I will just let you know it really is a gem to have and very accurate ( for me at least ).

There is some overlap with the other tests here, but this is more focused on strengths and not personality or WHYs. While you can more than likely derive your own strengths by taking the other free tests in this thread, I wanted to take this test myself and see the results.. which I didn't mind paying for.

In the end, this has been a monster thread for me to post because of the research, testing, and sharing I had to do to bring it to you.

While I know a lot of you will read and do these test on your own without posting here, I am concerned for those of you that skim the thread, close it down, and do no action.

Don't pass up this exercise.

You might take all the tests and come out with the idea of, "I already knew all of this" or "I don't agree with the results". However, I think if you do these exercises HONESTLY and several times, everyone will walk away with new insight about themselves and, if you think about it deeply, insight into others that can be used as business gains later in your life.

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