Epic search ended by stranger's email

Paola Totaro

KEN Thompson created a little ritual as he pedalled through Europe searching for his lost boy: 100 or so kilometres a day followed by a quiet dinner and two, small beers as a reward.

On Thursday night ensconced in a small cafe off the Rembrandt Plein in old Amsterdam, Mr Thompson ordered a really big beer and swallowed his first, unforgettable swig of relief.

His boy, Andrew, then 4, was taken by Mr Thompson's partner, Melinda, almost three years ago.

Still dressed in a faded cycling jacket festooned with Andrew's gap-toothed smile, the former NSW Deputy Fire Commissioner has yet to clap eyes on his little boy although a reunion is probably just days away.

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But now, reassured that he is alive and well, Mr Thompson says he has one big remaining goal in life: ''I feel very strongly about the rights of children. I don't have a job to go to any more. But I do want to help other parents who have been through this understand that you don't have to give up,''

''There are things you can do, things you can fight for. Human rights, the rights of children. People died to establish these rights. My child lost his. And I wasn't going to cop that.''

Mr Thompson left his job earlier this year and has travelled 6500 kilometres with a toy firefighter, his boy's favourite toy, on the back of his bike.

As the paperwork and legal processes grind through the system, he has time to look back and remembers with clarity the day that his wife began to act strangely, suddenly making serious, inexplicable accusations and expressing odd fears. The couple had been happy, living together for five years, travelling through Europe for three months and overjoyed to find out they would be first-time parents in their 40s and early 50s.

''We were inseparable for a wonderful five years. When she changed it was a huge, huge shock. It was bordering on hostility. One day, she was white, you could see her knuckles were white. Something was happening inside her and she couldn't tell me what it was,'' he said.

''A few times in the past, she exhibited terrible, inexplicable jealousies that came out of the blue. I always made excuses for them. I'd forget them, brush it away. I reckon that pattern would occur once a year. Then, in December 2006 - it was the 6th - something terrible went wrong, but she wouldn't tell me what it was. She was angry, shut down. She just formed a belief that I had done something but then, I didn't know what.''

The Family Court has since issued orders that reflect doubts about the mother's psychological well-being. Mr Thompson will not be drawn to comment on his wife's state of mind, insisting that despite the pain he has been through, he believes her to be a good person who honestly believed what she was doing was for the love of her child.

He expresses no bitterness, none of the anger understandable for a man who lost his son and his relationship with no explanation.

''When I thought, 'I can't do this', I thought I had to go on for Andrew. What would he think, 15 years on if he found out I had given up.''

Mr Thompson began his cycling odyssey in the UK last May, meeting Madeleine McCann's mother, Kate, at the launch of International Missing Children's day. He pedalled through northern France, Belgium into Luxembourg and Germany, followed the Moselle river into Koblenz, down to Frankfurt and up into the Netherlands. He found himself in Amsterdam in June, where his son was already living unbeknownst to him.

''I still don't know what school he was attending, but it's possible that I could have been a few blocks away from where he was living. I had a feeling, knowing Melinda, that she would love this city and see it as a good and friendly place for her and a child.''

Last Sunday, an anonymous email sent by a Dutch woman who he believes was associated with his little boy's school up-ended his life: ''I thought it was a hoax. The Australian authorities warned me they knew nothing and it was probably not true. I emailed her to say I wanted to believe her, but she wouldn't say any more, just writing that the authorities would contact me. I couldn't bring myself to believe it was true,'' he said.

''I felt I needed more, to check it out more. She then contacted the Amsterdam police to tell them that I needed more certainty. That is when the email came from the Amsterdam police … and I, even then, thought that was a hoax. That is how cynical I have become. But it was true. And I still don't know who she is although I hope very much to meet her … if it is a she.''