2.03.2012

We like to take long breaks from blogging just before Spring Training gets underway. Obviously. But what better way to get back into the game than waking up to hear the news of Josh Hamilton's alcohol relapse. Sadly, no whipped cream was harmed in the process.

The Texas Rangers outfielder didn't come out and admit his relapse to the press, however. No, some tattle tales "familiar with the episode" felt it was their responsibility to let us all know he was drinking booze at a Dallas area bar this week.

If you're familiar with alcoholism, you know know that one drink is really never okay for a drunk. Some people just can't hang, and Hamilton is one of those folks. The 30-year-old All Star outfielder was suspended for more than three years for drug and alcohol abuse back when he was with the Tampa Bay organization, missing the entire 2004 and 2005 seasons. However, he rebounded to become a household name and give hope to addicts everywhere.

In August of 2009, he relapsed during a wild night without his wife and Jesus, licking body shots and whipped cream off scantily clad hookers young ladies at a bar in Tempe, Arizona. Of course, he tried to claim that the photos were old, but background shots of the spankin' new MLB Network channel on the televisions in the background had him busted.

Since joining the Rangers, he is tested for drug use three times a week and also is supposed to have an accountability partner to offer him support in his recovery.

Honestly. Five errors, 11 walks, utter confusion all over the field, and eventual bat brutality completed the Cardinals' 10-9 walkoff win over the Texas Rangers Thursday night in St. Louis to force Game 7 of the 2011 World Series.

Josh Hamilton, who was told by the Lord himself that he would hit a homer in the 10th inning, and his hernia were feeling pretty darn good about that extra-inning longball (about time) until things really started to heat up. This game was a complete shitshow until about the seventh inning. I literally could not stop laughing throughout the early to middle innings, but then things got real serious real quick and shut me the hell up. The game went from a total joke to one of the best games I've ever seen in my life.

Down to their last three outs and facing another World Series loss, the Texas Rangers hooked up some smart base-running and timely hitting to tie the series at a game a-piece with a 2-1 win over the St. Louis Cardinals Thursday night.

Allen Craig once again hit the go-ahead single, this time in the seventh, to give the Cardinals a one-run lead that lasted a whole inning. We totally knew they were gonna blow it as soon as Ian Kinsler dropped a base hit off closer Jason Motte into shallow center field over the head of Rafael Furcal and out of the reach of Matt Holliday in the top of the ninth. Those circus acts always result in at least a run or two.

Oh my gosh it's World Series time. Finally. Those two days without baseball sucked.

C.J. Wilson and the Texas Rangers are already in St. Louis getting all geared up for Game 1 against Chris Carpenter and the Cardinals tonight at 8:05pm ET on FOX.

You know, something about C.J. bothers me. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I never have trusted a man who doesn't drink. However, I might change my mind and give him the benefit of the doubt if he pitches a 1-0 shutout and one of his teammates rips his jersey off.

At last, the Rally Claw meets the . Wonder who would win in a bench-clearing brawl...

The Texas Rangers didn't have to wait very long to see who they'd end up facing in the 2011 World Series. Just a day after they beat the Detroit Tigers to punch their ticket to the Fall Classic, the St. Louis Cardinals emerged victorious in Game 6 to send the Milwaukee Brewers packing for the offseason.

This matchup is going to be pretty awesome, pitting All-Star sluggers Josh Hamilton against Albert Pujols, while guys like Nelson Cruz and David Freese have become household names as Championship Series MVP's. Then there's the relief corps, which can clearly handle just about any task put in their paths as the starters from both sides have been less than reliable recently.

After dropping the first two games of the American League Championship Series in Arlington, the banged-up Detroit Tigers absolutely had to win Game 3, and Doug Fister gave them a chance to do that. It wasn't exactly a must-win situation, but only the Boston Red Sox have come back from a 3-0 deficit to force a Game 7. They managed to win the 2004 World Series that year, but it's not the recommended way of doing things.

The right-hander with a bad case of hat-head was about as cool as the other side of the pillow in the huge Game 3, pitching 7.1 solid innings Tuesday night where he allowed just two runs on seven hits to aid in his team's 5-2 victory over the Texas Rangers. Fister loves pitching at Comerica Park. He's an incredible 5-0 with an 1.23 ERA at home... pretty much unhittable.

Meanwhile, Rangers starter Colby Lewis suffered his very first postseason loss after entering the game with a career 4-0 record and 1.67 ERA in the playoffs. It was a good run.

Josh Hamilton drove in a first inning run to give Texas an early lead, but the Tigers tied it up on a Victor Martinez lead-off solo shot in the bottom of the fourth. The following inning, Miguel Cabrera said "Hold your horses, Rangers," when he hit an RBI double to the right field corner to give Detroit a 2-1 edge.

Jhonny Peralta nailed one into the Tigers bullpen in the sixth before Austin Jackson, who had three hits in the game after going 3-for-25 with 14 strikeouts over the first seven postseason contests, blooped a run-scoring single to center. Cabrera, who struggled through the first few innings, crushed a longball to left in the seventh to make it 5-1.

David Price was cruising through Game 3 against the Texas Rangers like nobody's business until suddenly, in the seventh inning, he coughed up the 1-0 shutout.

The All-Star lefty, who was winless in six starts last month, has still never beaten the Rangers. Counting two unfortunate losses during last year's ALDS, Price is a career 0-6 against Texas... which is so weird, cause he's pretty awesome against everyone else.

The sixth time the Rangers found themselves with runners in scoring position -- failing to record a hit the five times prior -- Mike Napoli made it count with a two-run bomb to kick off a four-run seventh.

Price left the game after allowing a Craig Gentry two-out single, but reliever Brandon Gomes walked two in a row to load the bases before Josh Hamilton crushed a two-run single off J.P. Howell that gave Texas a 4-1 lead. Howell knew he totally blew it:

"Disgust. I'm just really bad. That's it. It's a negative. All negative. But move on, the series isn't settles, so let's just roll on."

Tampa attempted a comeback with rookie Desmond Jennings hitting his second solo shot of the game in the eighth off reliever Mike Adams to make it a one-run game, but the scoring ended at 4-3.

Facing elimination, Rays rookie Jeremy Hellickson is scheduled to pitch Game 4 against lefty Matt Harrison Tuesday afternoon at 2:07pm ET on TBS. In fact, there are four ballgames today. You should probably just call in sick.

Upon winning the American League West for the second straight season, the Rangers sprayed ginger ale all over the clubhouse, saluting their non-alcoholic beverages in the air in respect to their alcoholic teammate, Josh Hamilton. Now that's love.

9.01.2011

Welcome to our 3,000th post. Man, that's a lot of baseball blogging. It's like we never shut up!

We've had lots of laughs, done some fantastic interviews, seen writers come and go, and had pretty great contests and giveaways. Obviously, we need to take this opportunity to look back at some of our favorite posts. Ah, the good old days...

We got super lazy and decided to write all 30 team previews in haiku form.

There were a ton of elderly pitchers back in 2007. Naturally, we created a 12-Step support group for them.

There's really nothing quite like sitting around thinking of who would make the best mistresses for random Major League Baseball players. So that's what we did.

5.23.2011

It's time to take Josh Hamilton and Nelson Cruz off of your fantasy baseball disabled list... like that's going to help your craptastic team.

The two Texas Rangers outfielders are expected to be activated just in time for Monday’s home game against the Chicago White Sox at 8:05pm ET. Hamilton is recovering from a broken bone in his upper right arm, while Cruz is rehabbing a strained right quadriceps muscle.

The reigning American League MVP went 0-for-4 while Cruz hit a solo shot during the final game of their minor league rehab assignments Sunday.

4.13.2011

Josh Hamilton has landed on the disabled list once again, this time with a broken arm.

The Texas Rangers left fielder is expected to screw up millions of fantasy baseball teams miss six to eight weeks after fracturing his upper right arm on a headfirst dive into home plate Tuesday during his team's 5-4 loss to the Detroit Tigers.

The reigning American League MVP later called the play on a foul popup near the dugout "stupid" even though he totally threw third base coach Dave Anderson under the bus while doing so:

"The whole time the ball was in the air, the coach was yelling, ‘Go, there’s no one at home,’ and I was thinking, ‘I don’t want to do this, something is going to happen.’ But I listened to my coach. It was way too aggressive. Maybe if they had both been closer to me, but they had a perfect angle to cut me off, and the only way to avoid a tag in that situation is to go head first.”

This is why they teach you the fundamentals in little league... like keeping your eye on the ball, following through on your throws, and not diving head-first into home plate.

2.11.2011

Josh Hamilton and the Texas Rangers have finally reached an agreement on a new contract to avoid arbitration just four days before the set hearing in Phoenix, Arizona.

The two sides came to terms Thursday on a two-year contract worth $24 million, including a $3 million signing bonus to cover the reigning American League MVP's last two arbitration-eligible seasons. This of course means he can become a free agent after the 2012 season if the Rangers don't offer him a new extension in time.

In fact, he is the most valuable player in the entire American League.

Josh Hamilton gets to clear a spot in his trophy case for some hardware today after being named the AL MVP. Despite missing most of the final month of the regular season with two fractured ribs, the Texas Rangers outfielder compiled 358 points from the Baseball Writers’ Association of America after tallying 22 first place votes, four second places and two fourth place tallies... which probably came out of New York.

Hamilton had a big hand in getting the Rangers to their first ever ALCS, where he was named the MVP of that series on the road to the Fall Classic, which they eventually blew. The 29-year-old All-Star led the big leagues with a .359 batting average and a .633 slugging percentage, and finished the 2010 season a .369 hitter with runners in scoring position and .370 with two outs. Clutch.

Our undying love for Cliff Lee was cemented last night with his brilliant eight-inning, two-hit, thirteen strikeout performance during the Texas Rangers' 8-0 win over the New York Yankees All-Star lineup in Game 3 of the ALCS.

Josh Hamilton, who had a pretty good view of the clinic from centerfield, smoked a two-run shot in the first, which was all the run support the Rangers needed. However, they kicked down the door in the top of the ninth with six more runs off a befuddled Yankees bullpen.

Cliff Lee was clobbered by his Texas Rangers teammates Tuesday night after they beat the Tampa Bay Rays 5-1 to advance to the ALCS for the first time in their 50-year history between Washington and Texas.

That's a long time without winning a playoff series.

To celebrate their first postseason victory in franchise history, they gathered around the visitor's clubhouse donning red ALDS Champion t-shirts and goggles, toasting ginger ale in support of their recovering alcoholic/drug addict batting champ, Josh Hamilton.

9.21.2010

"We need Josh. But if Josh is not there, we're not going to lie down. We've got some players and we're going to play." - Ron Washington

Some not-so-good news on the Texas Rangers homestead: Josh Hamilton has two fractured ribs. However, best hitter (.361/31/97) and the American League's top MVP candidate has not been ruled out for the season.

Hamilton hasn't played for his Texas Rangers since September 4, when he crashed into a wall with an already stiff back, making a pretty sweet catch against the Minnesota Twins.