LGBTQ Couples: 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Adopting a Child

Adoption in the U.S. is increasingly popular. If you decide to adopt a child, you are not alone. There are 2 million LGBTQ adults with the same noble intention. However, bringing a new child into your family is not a simple process. There are some important aspects that need to be taken into consideration. Below you will find eight questions that you should consider before deciding to adopt.

1. Public or Private Agency?

Public agencies for child adoption are entities run by local or state governments who are responsible for the welfare of children. These kids are estranged from their families and can be adopted. Many public child welfare agencies consider LGBTQ adults to be suitable applicants for obtaining legal parenting rights of these children. Unfortunately, the adoption process through such public entities is typically very time-consuming. On the other hand, adoption costs are usually lower and financial aid is occasionally granted for child support.

A more costly option to adopt a child is through a private agency. This kind of entity operates under a license issued by the state, and it often functions as a nonprofit organization. Despite the higher cost, most LGBTQ couples choose to adopt through private agencies, as they have a positive and tolerant attitude toward applicants belonging to minority groups. An exception might be an extremely faith-based agency that maintains an unethical prejudice against LGBTQ families. For the most part, private agencies are willing to work with couples to adopt children who are best suited to their family structure.

2. Which Child Is Right for my Family?

When adopting a child, you should think of how you can ease the discomfort of being in a new home. Adoption should be rewarding for both the child and parent. Not only will the child need to adapt to you but you may also need to adapt to his behavior and personality traits. For example, if the child doesn’t eat what your family usually does, try preparing something that he prefers. If the child is an introvert, give him some space and time when he needs it. Ultimately, you should avoid adopting a child if you feel that you are not able to lovingly and patiently help him transition into your family.

3. Do I Have Sufficient Resources to Invest in an Adopted Child?

An addition to your family requires new investments. And these expenses go far beyond buying clothes and giving pocket money for school. The question is how prepared are you to invest in the child’s overall development. Are you prepared to accept your child sharing her hobbies with you? Are you willing to dedicate your time to listen to her problems? If you have a clear understanding of how much dedication and support an adopted child needs, you may be ready to begin your parenting journey.

4. Do I Have the Patience to Wait for a Child to Show me Love?

Children older than 5 tend to be skeptical about new people. It takes time for these children to build trust. This is why, in the first months or even years of parenting, you may not receive the amount of love and compassion you anticipated from your child. If you can persevere and remain positive through this challenging time, you could earn the trust, respect and love of an adopted child.

5. Do I Have Adequate Social and Community Support?

It is not enough for you alone to accept the adopted child. You also need to get the approval and support from your partner, friends and community members. If available in your area, you can enroll your child in various groups and activities for LGBTQ families to assist the child in growing up and developing in a healthy environment.

Whether you choose a public or private agency, each will require you to go through pre- and post-adoption counseling. If you feel comfortable with this requirement, you are suitable for a parenting application.

7. Am I Ready to Be 100% Honest With the Agency Worker?

Before approving the adoption, an adoption professional will evaluate your properties, bank records, medical background and criminal history to ensure that the child is placed with the right family. Do not attempt to exaggerate in order to impress the agency, as it may create a negative outcome for you and the child. The goal is to make a great match, so honesty is crucial.

8. Have I had a Major Life Event in the Past Year?

Adopting a child to fill a gap from a personal loss, or to add joy to a significant life event is unethical and unreasonable. If you recently married, ended a relationship, purchased a new home, accepted more professional responsibilities, or experienced depression after the death of a friend, you might not be a good candidate for adoption. Take your time and reconsider your need for adding a new member to your family, and consider how this might affect the child.

These are just a few important questions to answer before determining if adoption is right for you and your family. We hope you found this information useful and insightful. Here at Destiny Adoption, we welcome everyone with open arms and believe all loving homes deserve a child. If you have seriously considered these questions and believe adoption is right for you, please contact us to discuss your options.

Author: Destiny Adoption Services

Destiny Adoption Services is proud to support and guide birth parents and adoptive families on the journey of adoption. We’re a state licensed nonprofit adoption agency with four decades of adoption experience, and our professional team of experts includes moms, adoptive moms and birth mothers who provide compassion combined with trusted resources and skills.