Won't marry me.

I am at my wits end. I have been with my SO since May 2008, we have a 3.5 yo DD and I am 27 wks with DD#2. He is 38, I am 24. He has never been married before and neither have I. I have brought up marriage so many times I'm sick of it. He just keeps saying "when the time is right we will" well, he was really busy with work, and said when it died down he would arrange meetings with the pastor to have a small wedding before our second baby gets here. Well our pastor requires that we have three counseling meetings to see if we are meant to be married or not. I don't really like this idea. He has been done with work for a while now, and he hasn't made one phone call. I think he is using it as an excuse to procrastinate the subject. Everytime I bring it up he gets mad and says I need to calm down about it, and that the more I talk about it, the less inclined he is to marry me. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of going to the doctors office all the time and they look at me like he is the baby Daddy. There's no excuse, and no reason why we shouldn't be married. I just don't know what to say or do anymore.

I am at my wits end. I have been with my SO since May 2008, we have a 3.5 yo DD and I am 27 wks with DD#2. He is 38, I am 24. He has never been married before and neither have I. I have brought up marriage so many times I'm sick of it. He just keeps saying "when the time is right we will" well, he was really busy with work, and said when it died down he would arrange meetings with the pastor to have a small wedding before our second baby gets here. Well our pastor requires that we have three counseling meetings to see if we are meant to be married or not. I don't really like this idea. He has been done with work for a while now, and he hasn't made one phone call. I think he is using it as an excuse to procrastinate the subject. Everytime I bring it up he gets mad and says I need to calm down about it, and that the more I talk about it, the less inclined he is to marry me. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of going to the doctors office all the time and they look at me like he is the baby Daddy. There's no excuse, and no reason why we shouldn't be married. I just don't know what to say or do anymore.

counseling sessions are very normal and relevant these days. my wife and I were surprised when we were told we needed to have 3 but our minister lived 3 hours away but we made arrangements and took time off work and after the second visit he said he felt confident that we were marrying for the correct reasons (he admitted that's #1 reason for the sessions in the first place) and that we had all the tools to make a great marriage.
I think you definitely need someone asking the hard questions before you marry, I believe you need to have a real conversation about why he is reluctant marriage is about give and take and working together and it starts before you have a ring

counseling sessions are very normal and relevant these days. my wife and I were surprised when we were told we needed to have 3 but our minister lived 3 hours away but we made arrangements and took time off work and after the second visit he said he felt confident that we were marrying for the correct reasons (he admitted that's #1 reason for the sessions in the first place) and that we had all the tools to make a great marriage.
I think you definitely need someone asking the hard questions before you marry, I believe you need to have a real conversation about why he is reluctant marriage is about give and take and working together and it starts before you have a ring

I tried that two years ago. Things like that push him away. Says he's being forced into it. I am afraid the pastor will say he isn't ready for marriage. I think this is ridiculous. It's ruining my whole day. Maybe I'm very hormonal and just upset.

I tried that two years ago. Things like that push him away. Says he's being forced into it. I am afraid the pastor will say he isn't ready for marriage. I think this is ridiculous. It's ruining my whole day. Maybe I'm very hormonal and just upset.

I wouldn't push it or push it on him. I'd shut up completely about it and see what he does. I wouldn't want to marry someone I feel I'm pushing it on them. Leave the subject alone. He knows how u feel about it so see what he does.

I wouldn't push it or push it on him. I'd shut up completely about it and see what he does. I wouldn't want to marry someone I feel I'm pushing it on them. Leave the subject alone. He knows how u feel about it so see what he does.

Why are you so desperate to get married ? Who cares what the people at the Dr office think you can't force a man to marry you, he obviously doesn't like being told what to do so give it a rest at least his being honest and telling u your pushing him away. If you have a good relationship just enjoy it.

Why are you so desperate to get married ? Who cares what the people at the Dr office think you can't force a man to marry you, he obviously doesn't like being told what to do so give it a rest at least his being honest and telling u your pushing him away. If you have a good relationship just enjoy it.

Maybe from his point of view there is no reason to get married. You're pregnant with your second child? If this was such a big issue for you why would you get pregnant once by this guy let alone twice? If you really want to force him to do something give him his ring back. If you do that, be ready for the possibility of your relationship ending. Figure out if this is a deal breaker for you.

Maybe from his point of view there is no reason to get married. You're pregnant with your second child? If this was such a big issue for you why would you get pregnant once by this guy let alone twice? If you really want to force him to do something give him his ring back. If you do that, be ready for the possibility of your relationship ending. Figure out if this is a deal breaker for you.

I would have to agree with Rps on this one. If marriage is a big deal for you, why get pregnant twice? To me, he's already married to you without the paperwork. He's stayed with you and is being the father to your children. Like Rps has said, you have to decide of this is a deal breaker or not. Is it worth it?

I would have to agree with Rps on this one. If marriage is a big deal for you, why get pregnant twice? To me, he's already married to you without the paperwork. He's stayed with you and is being the father to your children. Like Rps has said, you have to decide of this is a deal breaker or not. Is it worth it?

yes I think you do deserve it and no it's doesn't look right because children out of wedlock isn't supposed too but society as a whole is rejecting the notion of marriage. I believe this Is because we have turned away from the bible honoring beliefs our countries were founded on. People have taken God out of the home, and marriage is a God ordained instruction, how can you see the value in a true marriage without the reason it was made?

yes I think you do deserve it and no it's doesn't look right because children out of wedlock isn't supposed too but society as a whole is rejecting the notion of marriage. I believe this Is because we have turned away from the bible honoring beliefs our countries were founded on. People have taken God out of the home, and marriage is a God ordained instruction, how can you see the value in a true marriage without the reason it was made?

Don't push him. I don't know why everyone is in such a rush to get married so what if you have kids as are not married. If something is truly meant to be then there is no need to rush it will come naturally.

Don't push him. I don't know why everyone is in such a rush to get married so what if you have kids as are not married. If something is truly meant to be then there is no need to rush it will come naturally.

Mathew 19: 4-6 (quoting from genesis 2:22-24 the first mention of wife is in gen 2:25) ?that at the beginning the Creator ?made them male and female,? 5 and said, ?For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? ?6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.?

Mathew 19: 4-6 (quoting from genesis 2:22-24 the first mention of wife is in gen 2:25) ?that at the beginning the Creator ?made them male and female,? 5 and said, ?For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? ?6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.?

That's the thing, I haven't rushed him. It's not like we have been together for 3 months and Im having the marriage talk. It's been almost FIVE years. That's plenty of time to.know if you want to marry or not. Maybe I'm not good enough.

That's the thing, I haven't rushed him. It's not like we have been together for 3 months and Im having the marriage talk. It's been almost FIVE years. That's plenty of time to.know if you want to marry or not. Maybe I'm not good enough.

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