It took me decades to begin forgiving my father for abusing my mother, brother, two sisters and me

I was filled with sadness

Times were rare when I would have true gladness

I had to see through the lies that I was weak, and always would be a failure

Counsellors, family, friends and colleagues helped me see I am not the lies I was told

Guided me in singing a new song of

Freedom

Beauty

Love

Joy

There were times I screamed at God, “When I was abused why weren’t You there?

If You didn’t stop it, then You don’t care!”

When I became a Christian at 19 as I prayed at the altar I felt God say to me,
“Kevin, in every blow, in every slap, in all the terrible things your father and others said about you, do you really think I wasn’t there?

I felt every tear you cried

I was angry at how you were rejected by your father

I was there all the nights as a child and adult you have been afraid to sleep

Terrified your father would come into your room, smother you with a pillow

I was with you when you prayed at five under that willow tree

Pleaded with Me from your father’s abuse you and your family would be set free

I know this is hard for you to see now

I can’t change the way others act towards you

When I created you and all humanity,

I gave you the ability to choose how you would behave

Look at all they did to my one and only Son

He was

Rejected

Hated

Abandoned by his followers

Persecuted

Ridiculed

Beaten

Crucified

Don’t you think that tore away at me?

How I allowed Him to die

How he asked Me on Calvary’s cross,

“Eloi, Eloi, sabachtani?”

Meaning, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?”
In his humanity He asked the same question you’re asking Me now

“Father, when I needed You most, You where nowhere to be found

Alone, abandoned You left me!”
“Kevin, this truth I hope you will come to believe

I didn’t want you to be abused

But some day you will see how loving and gentle a man of God you are

Why?

Because of all I allowed you to go through

That for others you would be truly there

For others you would mean it when you say, “I care.

I will be here as long as you need me,

so from your abuse, from whatever issue you have,

you would be set free.”

Kevin and Karen Osborne are Christian pastoral counsellors and psychotherapists. Kevin is studying to become a psychologist and professor of Psychology. He feels called to also be a chaplain. We have started You Can Hope Again Counselling. Karen enjoys doing cross-stitch while I like writing and singing songs. Karen makes me laugh when she sings the kitty bed-time song saying, “It’s that time. It’s the bestest kitty time of the day!” Kevin enjoys teasing the kitties and making them do kitty dances with music. Their kitty, Catherine, loves it when kitty daddeh sings All Things Bright and Beautiful. Kevin likes doing impressions. He tells children’s stories and helps others with their problems using his hand puppet, Dr. Teddy, who is a therapy bear. He is a partner with us in our counselling practice.We are available to assist with worship and preaching to give busy pastors and ministers a much-needed break. Please visit our counselling website, where you will also find our blogs. We offer in-office, and phone counselling to anyone in the world.