Tension Point

This is a very old post that was automatically imported from LiveJournal. I have done my best to fix up the formatting, but some issues may remain. Comments have not been preserved.

It’s 4am. I’m shivery and cold, and I have to be up in five hours - early Saturday morning - to deal with other people’s problems. I mostly don’t mind this - after all, if it’s helping other people on the way to happiness then in the long run it’ll make me happy too.

In the past my tendency to try to soak up other people’s angst has been possible to deal with. Without any particular problems of my own, I was able to take on others’ and get things sorted out.

This, however, is no longer really the case.

This is something between a warning and a public service announcement.

For various reasons I’m nearing my safe limit on just my own angst at the moment. I’m most of the way there to the point at which I might crack under the strain. Due to the nature of my problems, no-one is really able to help me out, it seems it’s something I have to work out for myself.

However, other peoples’ problems haven’t gone away either. They’re piling on top of me too. I’m now well past any safe area with all this as well; my breaking point is not far away. Daily, the urge to crack and shut myself away from other people’s problems and my own grows stronger.

Very soon now, some of these issues need to be solved - my own or the most major other one, for preference - or I am going to break again.

I’m sorry. This is my apology in advance, because if it gets to that stage I might start believing that being selfish is justifiable and that I shouldn’t apologise for it.