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So there are people who would rather be dumb but pretty instead of smart and average/below average? That's just sad. Sure, some men like dumb women because it lets them get away with crap.

As Go Fish says, men would think this is a stupid question. My SO is definitely not handsome in the traditional way - but he's smart as hell and can fix just about anything. By smart as hell, I have to say he can be a bit boring if he gets fixated on some obscure topic but you'd be surprised how that info can later be useful. And he's funny. Funny is always good and not normally found in a dumb person unless it's at their expense.

I'm about average looks wise but if I was stupid I'd have to be BEAUTIFUL to have my SO and even then I think I'd bore him to death. Stupid isn't witty or interesting and most smart people don't tolerate dumb people well unless they are getting something from them. And usually, what they are getting is at the dumb person's expense. Luckily, the dumb person doesn't realize they are getting used. Sad.

FWIW...you can get a makeover without breaking the bank. And if a person would rather complain about an issue of unfairness of genes or whatever than do something about it...I can't think of anything to suggest.
If a person can budget for a horse, they can figure out a way to spend a month's board (or less) on a big esteem boost.

Also can't figure out a response to "I want to be thin and pretty because I'm not sexually attracted to guys that aren't hot."

As stated...pretty can be achieved. Intelligence cannot. And if a person is intelligent enough, they figure out a way to be both smart and attractive. Or at least figure out that attractive is achieved first inside the head, then on the outside.

Loved this post!

I vote for smart. If you are smart, you can figure out how to make yourself look your best, get therapy to learn to project self confidence, and that is sexy.

If you just have looks, you'll be taken advantage of, and the person that would most likely be after you for your looks will get bored with you once the novelty wears off (even before your looks fade), and you'll be left alone. Then your looks WILL start fading and you won't be smart enough to figure out how to make good money investing/working, and probably have a poor work ethic, if you always go by on looks, so you'll be broke, and getting wrinkled and gray, and being alone.

To Coutoure TB...Get some layers cut in your hair, and part on side to draw attn away from your nose that you don't like. Use a large round brush when blowdrying your hair to get volume. Get your eyebrows professionally threaded or plucked (easier to maintain if someone does them first), Curl your eyelashes and add a coat of mascara, Add natural tone of lipliner and fill in using a touch of gloss in center of bottom lip. Wear a top that doesn't have tight cap sleeves or that kind of scoop neck...Try a V neck.
You actually are very pretty but not enhancing your looks with your makeup, hairstyle, or T shirt, if you are trying to compare yourself to models in magazines. They're all made up to a T, by professional makeup artists, hair made to look fuller, and put in flattering clothes, then airbrushed and photoshopped. You really don't need the plastic surgery you think you do. Just do your hair, makeup and attire a little differently when you are going for glamour. If you've lost a bunch of weight recently, you probably still see a distorted image of yourself when you look in the mirror.

Must be nice to be able to afford to have someone work on your looks. I'm lucky if I can budget for a haircut every six months, let alone new clothes or anything else.

I don't only want to attract attractive men, but I'd like to attract someone worth being with. I don't remember the last time I had a real date.

And that wouldn't bother me if anyone wanted me for a decent job. But to be totally unwanted by everyone, everywhere...just plain sucks.

As shallow as it is, I just think the more attractive you are, the easier everything is in today's society. Must be nice.

oh wah! Cry me a river. If one of your biggest complaints is that you're not "pretty enough" count yourself lucky. This is a classic example of a 'first world problem.'

Being attractive will only get you so far (perhaps that new gig at the local nudie bar), but it's certainly not the only important thing, and nor is having a high IQ. Personality and social skills, whether you're attractive or not is a key component of employability.

The very first thing to remember is that YOU have to like yourself first. Very important. If YOU don't like YOU, how can you expect anypne else to like you? People are drawn to individuals that are confident.

I would rather have brains. I admire beauty and have nothing against it but I like my brains. I would be bored to tears if I was dumb but beautiful (off course I might be too dumb to know any better). Beautiful people do have it easier in some ways (initial first impressions that could lead to "better" jobs or spouses). However brains and personality are very important.

As a teacher, I do see how attractive children are more readily accepted. I, however, find the smart kids, or the kids w/ a personality, much more interesting. I feel badly for those kids who have neither looks, personality, or brains b/c w/o one of the above, that person is going to have a really hard time in life.

Don't get me wrong, beauty is nice. As I get older I am feeling sad at the loss of my youthful appearance. But I'm not devastated by the changes. From an early age girls are being bombarded w/ society's view that beauty is important to a woman (Snow White for example). But if I had to choose, I'll choose brains over beauty.

There are people (and horses) who are both beautiful and smart. It's not an either or situation. You can improve your looks. You cannot grow more brain cells.

If you take care of yourself, style your hair, take care of your skin and weight, etc., you will look good. And if you are friendly and smile, you'll be thought of as good looking.

Our owner has always "fixed up" her male and female friends with one another. Some were interested only in dating good looking people (including a great looking male model who was nice, but shallow.) Others actually came back to our owner and said, "please find me someone smart" after they'd been fixed up with beautiful people. Our owner was amazed at the number of men who wanted smart women.

But a lot of people are only concerned with surface appearances. Many horse people want a "pretty horse" over a good looking horse with good conformation. And many humans want looks over character.

You cannot please everyone. But if you watch you weight, fix up your hair, and have a sparkling, yes, a good personality, you can run with the "beautiful people." And remember, those who were always beautiful get old and saggy.. (Our owner did, LOL.)

As many other posters have said, you can ALWAYS improve your looks through hair, makeup, clothing, diet, exercise, etc. Brains are something you either have, or you don't.

I would much rather be able to "fly under the radar" by being less-than-gorgeous and use my brains to get useful things done without the hassle of people being distracted by my devastating good looks. Brains and personality matter MUCH more than what's on the outside!

I am a person of fairly average attractiveness myself, and while I like to look nice and presentable, I definitely don't obsess over it. Does anyone else find it uncomfortable to be lauded for their looks?? It gives me kind of a squirmy feeling!

Proud member of the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique

if you are trying to compare yourself to models in magazines. They're all made up to a T, by professional makeup artists, hair made to look fuller, and put in flattering clothes, then airbrushed and photoshopped.

And let's not forget that the majority of them are on average 17 years old.

On another note, it's been my experience that extremely attractive men are not brilliant canoeists. Just sayin'.

I think life would be easier sometimes if one were dumb, being smart is hard, you understand things that you then have to worry about and do something about!

Being dumb and beautiful would leave you vulnerable to predation, no thanks. Being smart and very beautiful...sure sounds good, but then you'd be very well aware of being judged only on your looks by many people, must be pretty frustrating.

I don't know. I'm well above average in intelligence and, while not beautiful by any means, I'm tall/thin/blond/boobs and that has generally bought me a bit of a "pass" on having to worry about the rest of my looks or spend a lot of effort on makeup/hair/nails/clothes, etc... I'm certainly not ugly, but my features are uneven/nose is on the big side/hair is thin and without any body to speak of. Not beautiful, pretty or cute, but "attractive", I'm not scarying anyone away but I've never had lots of men falling all over me or women accusing me of being beautiful either. I kind of like this setup...attractive enough to feel good about myself/get a date without being so good looking that people focus on that or I have to worry about protecting my looks at all costs.

I think an awful lot of attractiveness is confidence, intelligence and having common sense, at least that's what works for me and what most men I know tell me they find attractive. Of course, it's easier to feel confident if you meet what you feel is some minimum standard of attractiveness, but I really think most women are WAY too hard on themselves in the looks department. I see very, very few women who I would consider really unattractive, but plenty that THINK that they are. I see women far prettier than I who think they are not attractive because they are not tall and thin...ugh. Seriously, women are only supposed to come in one shape?

I have been through being both and I can say without doubt that I would prefer brains any day.

I grew up a horse crazy tomboy, chubby with a big nose, hated makeup, hardly brushed my hair and wore ripped jeans and t shirts with pictures of horses on them. I spent all my free time in books, was in gifted programs at school, and got made fun of mercilessly. At the time, it sucked. I would have given anything to be pretty and gain the acceptance that is so important in school. Never had a date all through high school.

Once out of school, I finally started working on my outer appearance. I learned to do my makeup, how to dress, dyed my hair blonde, my boobs grew and I became more outgoing. And then I learned what it felt like to be objectified. Sure, life was easy because I could get anything I wanted.

But it came at a price. Guys would do anything for me, until I went out with them and they got what they wanted, then left me in the dust, or once they realized they didn't stand a chance, they got downright mean. Guys expected you to act a certain way, expected certain things from you. You weren't allowed to have an opinion or intelligence. To try and have a serious conversation with somebody when all they're doing is staring at your boobs or trying to hit on you. To constantly hear lewd comments, especially from people you thought respected you. To be terrified to go places because you knew you were going to be oogled and you knew what those guys were thinking. To just try to take your work seriously but your co workers are constantly hitting on you. To have people thinking the only reason you got where you are is because of your looks. It was not fun.

I met my bf during this time, he was gorgeous and didn't know it, but also ridiculously smart. He liked me for me and not all the outside stuff, because since then I've gained 50lbs, let my boring brown hair color come back, I dress pretty plain and I spend little time in the mirror. But he still loves me, still finds me sexy.

I see those girls who use their looks to get what they want and I just feel sad for them, because no guy is ever going to take them seriously. They might marry rich, they might look happy on the outside. But that guy is going to be cheating on them when he finds something younger and hotter, and eventually leave her for something better. Beauty doesn't last forever. When you are beautiful in that way, you are NEVER happy with yourself. You have appearances to keep up. It's a constant battle, picking apart every tiny flaw and making yourself feel like crap about it, trying to fix it. You are never happy, never satisfied. I'm much happier now just being average and comfortable with myself.

And for anybody who says they can't afford a makeover, please. Go to the department store makeup counter and get a FREE makeover and they will also teach you HOW to apply it. You aren't obligated to buy anything. Go get a $20 haircut. Go to Walmart and get some cheap makeup and hair dye. There are a MILLION how to's for makeup and hair styling on youtube. Sit at home and play with it until you figure it out. Go try on tons of clothes and see what looks good on you. I saw a website that photoshops celebrity faces onto normal people's bodies with normal people hair and they look shockingly normal. It's not so much about your face, it's about how to put it together and your confidence.

And let's not forget that the majority of them are on average 17 years old.

On another note, it's been my experience that extremely attractive men are not brilliant canoeists. Just sayin'.

I love the print ads for anti-aging, anti-wrinkle, anti-age spot creams....showing 22 year olds.
Look how good it works! It can turn a 22 year old into...a 22 year old!

Find a well-seasoned lifelong equine professional with her proud years of sun-leathered skin and all those worry wrinkles caused by the idiot animals trying to kill themselves in various and sundry ways and the deep laugh lines from hearing "It has to be 17hh, 5 years old, have tons of chrome, auto swaps, push button, made gelding already winning at 3'6" and it can't be over $5000."

Make THAT woman look 22.
Hell, make THAT woman look whatever her actual age is.
I'll actually buy that cream!

You jump in the saddle,
Hold onto the bridle!
Jump in the line!
...Belefonte

OP, be good to yourself. Your self loathing is apparent, and you don't need an external makeover, you need a self esteem boost. You're not going to attract someone who's going to treat you right if you don't treat yourself right. It's cliche, but it's very true. I've been going to yoga for the last year, and due to that, I feel really good about myself. Let your inner beauty and light shine through. Yeah, I know I'm sounding like a granola crunching hippy, but I'm happy, and I try to make others around me happy, be that with a positive word, a smile, a helping hand, or just an ear. My boyfriend is not beautiful by society standards, but he's an amazing guy that truly cares for me and he treats me better than anyone I've ever been with. I'll take that over pretty any day.

OP, be good to yourself. Your self loathing is apparent, and you don't need an external makeover, you need a self esteem boost. You're not going to attract someone who's going to treat you right if you don't treat yourself right. It's cliche, but it's very true. I've been going to yoga for the last year, and due to that, I feel really good about myself. Let your inner beauty and light shine through. Yeah, I know I'm sounding like a granola crunching hippy, but I'm happy, and I try to make others around me happy, be that with a positive word, a smile, a helping hand, or just an ear. My boyfriend is not beautiful by society standards, but he's an amazing guy that truly cares for me and he treats me better than anyone I've ever been with. I'll take that over pretty any day.

I always find advice like this ridiculous. Why should people other people ignore be shiny happy people? Why is it always THEIR job to smile, support, be the chipper Pollyanna without getting anything for it? IME, it's like being a good steady worker at a job--all it gets you is more work piled on you without a raise, so why make the effort? Being 'the ear' and 'the supportive one' just means everyone dumps their emotional problems on you and blithely ignores yours because "You're such a good listener." Most people who are not mindless social butterflies aren't because it's draining (I have to be paid to be that chipper, and I can fake it quite well, but it's WORK) and they never see any return on the investment.

(And tries to set you up with disasters. I have never had someone set me up on a date with someone I found attractive and interesting, just with people THEY think are attractive. I don't think taller than me, not too fat but not too skinny or musclebound, ie average, decent hair, and is interesting to talk to, is too much to ask for. I get stuck with geeks. Just because I like SF/F, most of the time, when I'm not bored with it, doesn't mean I want to date a nerd. I do not understand where some of my friends get these ideas.)

Why is it always THEIR job to smile, support, be the chipper Pollyanna without getting anything for it? IME, it's like being a good steady worker at a job--all it gets you is more work piled on you without a raise, so why make the effort?

Because SHE finds it personally rewarding to give other people a lift? And nowhere does she state that it's anyone's JOB to prop up other people--she just sounds like she does it because it's fulfilling to her to help others. God forbid.

And another vote for brains here. I'm happy with my looks, but not sure I'd want to be so gorgeous that I suspected that the only reason men hit on me was because of my looks or for the status that comes with having a piece of "arm candy." And I think being smart is more rewarding on a deeper level and over the long term. That's not to discount the advantages that come with being very attractive, because they're definitely there, but I don't think they outweigh, particularly as one ages, the advantages of being extraordinarily smart.