Alastair Campbell is about to have his phone hacked. On 8 October. At the Times Cheltenham Literature Festival. No, we have not developed Mystic Meg (Mystic Monkey?) style tendencies, and no, we're not making it up. We know this because the former Downing Street spinmeister will offer up his phone to comedian Patrick Kielty to delve into his innermost smartphone secrets. That's assuming it is a smartphone, and not one of those fuddy-duddy gizmos that just does calls and text messages. How disappointing would that be? Anyway, Kielty will use it to check Campbell's text messages, run through his address book and see who will take his calls at the festival, with the help of a giant video screen and loudspeaker. Seeing as Campbell knows this is going to happen, we can't help but feel it would be more rewarding if we just nicked it. But that would be illegal. Over to Kielty: "I'm not sure if Alastair realises what he's let himself in for. Of course, he isn't the first former Downing Street employee to be become involved in phone hacking but as a willing volunteer, chances of a prosecution in this case will be slim."