OCD or Just Particular?

Do you ever find yourself doing something in a very specific way and silently wonder if you might have a touch of OCD? Well, I do that – more and more often now.

I’ve always been particular. When I was younger, it was the way in which I was particular in my chaos. I guess you could call it organized chaos. You could ask me where anything was in my mess and I could tell you exactly ‘It’s in the hall closet, under the coats, behind the bowling ball.’.

When I was in University, I used to make my teammates insane on any given project, because I would not share my part until it was as close to perfect as I could get it. I am the same way in my work life, but only because I know what is expected of me. Now its called ‘being thorough’.

In my home life, I make everyone insane. I don’t know why but…life seems a little bit happier when ALL of the coffee cups are hanging nicely in their spaces, when the surfaces are nice and tidy, when the countertops are spotless. This isn’t actually the issue. My husband knows I’m neurotic and reminds me on a regular basis. The problems really start when I can’t get it ‘right’.

Not being able to get it ‘right’ (AKA: the way I visualize it) is frustrating at times. And when I can’t get it that way, I kind of just give up. Take my desk for example; I don’t currently have enough proper storage for the things I need to access, so instead it is just all over my desk. There is no middle ground. No compromise. Just…All or nothing.

I know its the same with my appearance, and I am starting to strongly suspect it so with my weightloss. The hormones don’t help. There are days when you might could find me at home chewing the curtains if the right spice was just on them. I get THAT hungry. But don’t worry, we aren’t there yet. But the fact remains that when I’m not seeing what I want to see in the mirror, I get frustrated. And when I get the munchies, its my justification to indulge. Which is ridiculous.

Are any of you like this? Do you obsess and obsess and then just say ‘Fuck it.’?

I am so “thorough “ that I’m downright anal about things! That was title given to me by “friends”. But so you know, trying to be thorough is a good thing. Cause when you’ve done the best you can do! You can’t do any better ! And you can’t feel anything but good about your best!!!

I removed it from my self concept. Life is life, and I’ve learned to roll with it. While a perfectionist at heart, I’m not defined by my perfection. All I have to do is be, learn to accept that, and I’m perfect enough.

We had a friend unexpectedly visit a day or two ago and she came right in the front door. Well, the entryway is also the cat room and since we hadn’t gone to the dump in a while (did that today) we had junk all over the entry and we had set up emptied kitty litter boxes for the cats to play in.

There was a time when I would have crawled under the carpet with the cats when she came in. Not now. It’s just life. If she has a problem it’s hers, not mine. I knew the mess was going to disappear shortly and I’ve learned to be comfortable with what I am inside, even if what goes on outside doesn’t always reflect it. 😉

OMG. I am sooo envious of this!
This is one of my biggest issues. I will leave people standing in the yard and just not let anyone in the house if I don’t feel like its tidy enough. My neighbors probably think I’m some kind of secret hoarder or something. Hah!

Nahhh! Secret tidy mite, that’s all. 😉 To your credit, I do make strangers stand outside if letting them in would make the wrong impression. Without a nanny or a maid one’s house can’t always be immaculate.

Don’t tell, but my wife has some of your ‘fine’ qualities. Our kitchen counters only have a Kitchen-Aid mixer and a coffee brewer. Even the quickie Keurig is out of sight. When we use the counters, they are immediately cleaned. Everything is cleaned and out away at night. I suppose if I didn’t have her to stay on me for keeping things clean, our house would be a shambles. ‘Cause I’m a guy and some of that stuff isn’t important. On my own, I’d be saying ‘fuck it’ a lot. But for now, I only say it out of earshot…😉