Click here if you missed Friday’s article about Taylor Swift hooking up with Harry Styles. At this writing, Taylor is trending on Twitter worldwide, not because of the AMAs but as a result of how 1D fans are reacting to her situation with Harry. Some of them want to kill her. See now this is the song I’m waiting for. Not another heartbreak-breakup, but a signature Swift musical f-ck you to the twi-hardy, no matter what their allegiance.

For the rest of us though, Taylor Swift + Harry Styles = Good For Gossip. It might even be great for gossip. Because it won’t last. He’s 18. And he is a BRAT. John Mayer was a douchebag anyway so no one took him seriously. Jake Gyllenhaal did not want to engage the media about his relationship with her. Conor Kennedy was raised to keep the private out of the public as much as possible. But Harry Styles? Harry Styles IS the Twitter/Facebook/Instagram generation. And Harry likes to talk.

Harry just told a national magazine two weeks ago that his ex-girlfriend, 33 year old Caroline Flack, had bad breath.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe the exact words were:

“Caroline had really bad breath when we kissed. 'Could Do With a Tic Tac Flack,' that’s what I call her! Only joking.”

And then he had to be interviewed by her a few days later! Click here to read the play-by-play of how that went down.

My point is, if Taylor wants to write a song, this kid will write a song too. Or he might not even wait that long. He might just record a video about how she was a sh-t kisser and post it on YouTube. It will make the unravelling of Justin and Selena seem UNdramatic in comparison. I can’t. WE can’t wait, right?

Here’s Harry at BBC Radio One yesterday. And Taylor on the carpet at the AMAs. In Zuhair Murad. I am tired of Zuhair Murad. Why is tacky and overrated so overplayed? And why does her blonde look so grey? As for her performance, I was at dinner with my ma when Swift was onstage but Duana messaged me to say, “F-cking Taylor Swift” and described it as some kind of Phantom Of The Opera Sh-t to which I replied, “I’m surprised she hasn’t tried out Scarlett O’Hara yet” and wouldn’t you know, Duana confirmed 30 seconds later that she did indeed go there. Predictable.

Next up?

A space suit, like Julia Roberts in Notting Hill.

Oh and speaking of Richard Curtis, since it’s the time of year for Love Actually, I think I’ve figured out why I love Harry Styles so much: