Season five of Mad Men has finally come to its conclusion. The show truly brought us back to a simpler time when a man could get by on identity theft, womanizing, and alcoholism alone. But through it all, Don Draper retained his title as the coolest douchebag on television — although it could have gone in a different direction. We obtained some lines cut from the fifth season that, even if he turned up the charm to full blast, Mr. Draper himself couldn't have sold...

Mad Men fans have waited over a year and a half for the show to return, and this Sunday the first episode of season five will finally debut. Let's just hope series creator Matthew Weiner (second from left) didn't use these copies of MAD for inspiration.

Fans of AMC’s Mad Men are rabidly anticipating the long-delayed fifth season of the show, and their interest was predictably stoked by the recent release of a “mysterious” promo ad, which seems designed to provoke deep questions: “What does it represent?” “Is it a meditation on Don Draper’s empty soul?” “Why does Dr. Pepper taste like that?” But the most relevant question here might be, “What’s going through Draper’s giant, Brylcreemed head?” As always, we’re here with the answers.