To Give is to Receive

November 8, 2007 by Kin

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. So let me take the chance to touch on the subject of giving today.

People always say “giving is receiving”, “it’s better to give than to receive”, “to give is to receive”. But why? Don’t you hate it when people say it, and you just have to agree, even though it may not make too much sense to you. You don’t understand why, but you have to nod your head anyways. Well, I hate that, and seriously, I don’t know if it makes sense to them when they said it either. Perhaps they say it… just to say it. So annoying. So despicable. So stupid. I’m just kidding.

Now following, I will share what I think about “giving” and how exactly is “to give is to receive”.

All of you out there, all of us, the entirety of human beings need to come to the realization that of accepting full responsibility of actions and so, whatever you do is your own choice and you must be responsible for the consequences. Now translating that, every time you give, it needs to be a direct result of your choice and your choice only, not because of obligation, not because of guilt, not because of expected return, etc.

By making your own decision to give, you can reap the full benefits of giving. You give because you are free and able to do so. You give because you have compassion for your fellow human beings, be it family, friends, or complete strangers whom you give to. You can then feel fully satisfied of yourself because you made your own choice to give, to help others, and that sense of satisfaction and joy is NOT a selfish result. You are giving because you WANT to.

Selfish is what? Selfish is when you give to expect to be given in return. How often you see people around you who give love and expect love in return, and how many of those are healthy relationships? You give because you love that person and if that person loves you in return, that’s great. If they don’t, it’s unfortunate, but if you continue to give to further expect something in return, that is not only selfish, it is also a self-destructing behavior. This is why people who truly love are the independent ones who are capable to make each choice in their life while accepting full responsibility for their own actions.

Nor shall you give as a result of guilt or obligation because that will also lead to similar result, where you feel that you have been taken advantage of, or that the other person owes you. That will become burden, which can easily cause you to feel like a victim in the future.

“I help him this time, he should help me in return next time I ask for favor.” We probably have all thought that. We’re only humans. Well… don’t. Stop it. You helped your friend because you chose to and that you will be happy to have done it. That’s receiving right there.

It is okay to accept gift, free meal, or help later if the other person chooses to do so in return. Just don’t expect so, or you are setting yourself up for disappointment, and disappointment is definitely not a form of “receiving”.

In short, to give to rececive, you must make your own decision to give.

Give to be helpful for others.
Give base on a sense of genuine gratitude. (Thanksgiving!)
Give because of compassion.
Give because you want and choose to.