Superman Isn't Gay, Honest

June 14, 2006

The movie Superman Returns has sparked speculation as to the Man of Steel's sexual orientation. As homosexuality becomes mainstream, media and society seems freer to call, a spade, a spade (or a queen, a queen) by implying that it isn't pejorative, regardless of actual intent. The new supposedly enlightened attitude is, "He might be gay, not that there's anything wrong with that?"

According to Reuters (06/10/06), the film's director "defends" his movie's main character by releasing a statement last Friday. Superman "is probably the most heterosexual character in any movie I've ever made," claims Bryan Singer, of his new production about the crime-fighting superhero opening June 28. "I don't think he's ever been gay."

I'm still waiting to hear the usual course of voices explaining there'd be nothing wrong with our hero being gay.

Some media darling stating, "I used to have an uncle that was gay. Actually, he never said he was gay but he cut hair and lived with the same male roommate for 20 years. He wasn't a superhero per se but his perseverance and courage in the face of prejudice and fear still serves as a source of inspiration to me."

I got news for the director. Superman was never completely straight. Like Jesus pre-Da Vinci Code, most of the saviors of the world, have special albeit unconsummated relationships with women. Real human desires displayed in "pure" unrequited love.

Meanwhile, hero-worship is by nature slightly homoerotic. Admiration is a form of attraction. However, wanting to be someone is not the same as wanting to be "with" him.

In the new Superman flick, the script has Lois moving on with her life. Tired of the non-sexual forays with our Man in Tights, she marries someone else and starts a family.

Supe meanwhile remains single, continues to run around in a skintight leotard, bright red briefs and a flowing cape. A flamboyant lifestyle challenging the masculinity of even the most virile man even if he hasn't moved in with Jimmy Olsen yet.

Nevertheless, according to my gay porn reviewing experiences, if the director or studio wanted Superman to have true gay appeal, they would have left the actor's sizable package super-sized not altered digitally to appear less obvious to manly young fans.