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THE CONFESSIONS OF A WIFE
DICK IS HOME
(Copyright, 1914, by the Newspaper Enterprise Association.)
Dick came home this morning; got
In in time for breakfast and was so
pleased with everything, including the
bad coffee that Annie served.
Aunt Mary has offered to make the
coffee tomorrow. She makes the old
fashioned boiled kind that is "settled
with the' white of an egg." I have a
percolator that was given us as a
wedding present, but I find that it
would cost us at least a dollar and a
half a week to use it. I am going to
try and use the percolator on the gas
stove, but I dare not trust Annie to do
this until I can take the time to try
it out myself.
Aunt Mary was surprised when I
told her we certainly could not af
ford to add nearly 400 per cent to
the coffee in the making of it one
pound will last us a week, but it is
the alcohol that would bring the
cost up.
Even she, who is quite economical,
has never learned to think of house
hold economics in "per cents," which
I am sure is only the proper basis of
housekeeping.
Dear, dear Dick caught me in his
arms as I opened the door and hugged
me until I lost my breath entirely.
Then he held me off at arms' length
and surveyed my plain housedress,
big apron and cap.
"So Mrs. Schoolteacher has become
Mrs. Housekeeper," he said laughing
ly, "and it looks to me, Margie, as
though Mrs. Housekeeper was going
to take her business very seriously."
"Of course I am, Dick, but I am
going to try and not worry you with it
any more than you worry me with
your work. I don't think any wife
has the slightest right to ask her hus
band to get a steak or to pay the gas
bill on his way to the office. House
keeping is my work and I am going
to do it."
"Let's don't housekeep tonight,
Margie," said Dick, with a tightening
of the arm that was still about me.
"Do you realize, my dear, that we
have not been on a spree since you
were hurt? Let's play we are not
married and have a real sweetheart
ing time tonight."
"But Aunt Mary?"
"Bother Aunt Mary. She has sense
enough to know we can't always have
her with us. No matter how much
of an addition she would be to the
company. I'll come after you at 6
o'clock and we'll have dinner down
town. Then we'll do something real
devilish."
"All right, dearest man," I answer
ed and kissed him hurriedly and al
most shoved him out of the door, for
I realized that, instead of fixing up
my house, I would have to go down
town and buy a hat and other things
to "doll up" so Dick would not be
ashamed of me.
It is rather a strange commentary
on modern life that in all the great
affairs of living a woman's hat is apt
to play a part of first importance.
(To Be Continued.)
o o
AT THE FICTION DE&R
Young Lady (reading from list)
"Engaged to Be Married?"
Librarian (referring to shelf) No,
madam.
Lady "Thou Art the Man?"
Librarian Yes, madam.
Lady Thank you. "Two Kisses?"
Librarian Out, madam.
Lady "After Dark?"
Librarian Yes, madam.
Lady Thanks. "Love Me For
ever?" Librarian No. "Wooed and Mar
ried?" Lady No, thank you. "Undei
Love's Rule?"
Librarian No, madam.
Lady "Gbodby, Sweetheart?"
Thank you very much.
Library Jokes and Jottings.
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