Sexual Tension Between Professor and IT Guy Reaches New Heights

Witnesses reported that the two “love birds” even made brief eye contact.

Sources confirmed that the repressed passion between Anthropology professor Stacy Graham and tech expert Mike Yates reached a “fiery climax” last Wednesday. The incident occurred between 1:13 and 1:20 p.m., during which time, LSA sophomore Elise Kim stated, “sparks flew.”

“It was a pretty much normal day,” said Kim, a sophomore in Graham’s sociology lecture. “Mike was pulling up the PowerPoint file after Professor Graham lost it again. But the next thing you know, he’s telling her how to find the file herself using control F—and she’s letting him! I mean, hello?”

Wednesday’s incident is only the most recent in what sources claim is “a long line of sexually charged exchanges” between Yates and the PhD of Anthropology.

Frank Steinberg, another student in Graham’s class, stated that the pair “are always finding some excuse to be in the same room,” and “are pretty much just looking for an opportunity to fuck at this point.”

“They really hit it off right away, and the atmosphere of lust just kept marinating from then on,” Steinberg said. “On only the second day of class, he asked if he could ‘fix some audio problems’ for her; I’m sure you don’t need Freud to tell you what that means.”

At press time, rumors were spreading that Yates had arrived early to lower the projector screen.