Captain Cannabis Chronicles

Welcome aboard. This is your Captain speaking. We’ll be flying at an altitude of 420 feet, with zero turbulence, and gentle tailwinds out of the far East. So unbuckle your seatbelts and your minds for our magic carpet ride into McChronalds Country…

Greetings from Alberta. It’s been several months, a season, since I decided to take a chance on a certain weed-by-mail service out of my neighbouring province, BC. One can find all kinds of claims on the Internet, offering to sell almost everything, including weed and even psychedelics. I am usually skeptical of such offerings. But Ronald McChronald had a tone of sincerity, and even better, a sense of humour. So I took a very small chance, and decided to purchase 3.5 grams of Quadra Hydra Kush. The price was not exactly cheap, but if I received what I’d paid for, I would consider it reasonable. Growing up in the American South, I was used to either mediocre Mexican sativa, or (on rare occasions when it wasn’t all shipped out of state) good ole Tennessee skunkweed. I was about to be surprised by the power and glory of McChronalds Kush…

Purchase Weed Online

(Here, I’d like to note that if you want to purchase weed from McChronalds, you must live in Canada, be an adult, and have a bank account which allows you to do e-mail money transfers. If you haven’t done e-transfers before, don’t worry–it’s the simplest thing imaginable, and very safe. Just don’t mention weed or anything related in the transfer itself; it’s better for all of us to be discreet, at least until common sense prevails and cannabis is legalized here in the Great White North.)

My first order soon came to me in a plain brown envelope, double sealed in bubble wrap. I could see that there would be no reason for “the authorities” to go out of their way to check any package from McChronalds. I could smell nothing at all until I scissored open the bubble wrap, and then WHADOOM, wow! What a deep rich piney smell, and what a pretty bud, with varying shades of green, and striations of purple and crimson. I have written about the appearance of McChronalds Kush on this site before, but I’ll say it again–McChronalds buds are a work of art. It’s worth lingering over them and admiring their beauty before stuffing your bowl and getting down to it.

I lit up some Kush, and soon discovered its remarkable properties so far as helping me with chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Many of you are probably like me, more used to cannabis sativa than cannabis indica, the former being native to North America, and the latter having originated in India, land of the Kashmir and Kush. In simple terms, cannabis sativa is more of a “head high”, generating lots of imaginative thinking and laughter. Cannabis indica, Kush, does sweeten the imagination, but its main power is to bring euphoria to the body, decreasing pain and discomfort. Also to bring on slow sweet drowsiness, and allow you to sink languidly into colourful dreams and restful sleep.

Or, like me, you can mix your Kush with cannabis sativa for the best of both worlds, head and body high. In my case, I decided to try Ronald’s Bubble Hash, with its incredible dose of straight-up THC, as a mix with both Ronald’s Master Kush and Quadra Hydra indica bud.

Many of us have hardly ever seen any REAL hash; it’s rare. What we usually see is some sort of dusty green brittle chunk of compressed mediocre weed. But when I opened my order of Bubble Hash from Ronald, there was no doubt that this was something special. So deep green it’s almost black, glittering with THC crystal, Ron’s Bubble Hash is beautiful to behold. It’s also pliable, a bit like really stiff clay, which attests to its legitimacy.

I shaved off a tiny bit of hash with my thumbnail, and bonged it. Within half a minute, my brain took off on a magic carpet to a place where colours were brighter, all senses were sharpened, and my synapses lit up like a pinball machine. I coasted on that high for 30 minutes or so, then prepped a small hit of Kush, and sprinkled it with crumbs of Bubble Hash. After inhaling the mix, I noticed that the chronic pain in my feet and shoulder began to recede into the distance. My brain and body were both very happy…

Of course, you might not want to get into a heavy body high during your working day, or when you need to drive. I’d say save the Indica / Kush for evenings. But the Bubble Hash? If you do just enough for one solid hit, you’ll be mentally glowing for hours, but still capable of taking care of practical matters around the house. Hash can also be eaten for a long-lasting, more “psychedelic” high, but in truth, I haven’t done any testing with the Bubble Hash along these lines yet. I’ll let you know when I do…

Ronald doesn’t always have hash available, it’s a special treat, so I urge you to try some while it’s available. Thanks for flying Magic Carpet Airlines! Until we meet again, I remain

Links

Cart

Ronald McDonald House

100% Of All Donations Go To Ronald McDonald Houses Around Canada From Now Till Dec 20th. On December 20th, $5000 Cash Will Be Given To The Ronald McDonald House Vancouver, then right across the country and back.