Sunday, February 11, 2007

Blah, blah, blah...

Because I'm lecturing on Hegel this week and, although it's tempting to try to whip something up about how public reaction to the death of Anna Nicole Smith demonstrates the extent to which our culture really is a world of self-alienated spirit wherein our understanding of ourselves as self-conscious subjects can really be radically thrown by our recognition of a washed-up drugged-up former Playboy centerfold as another self-conscious subject (okay, semi-conscious, but nonetheless possessing of a consciousness - limited or otherwise - that might be negated by death... BIG SIGH...), although such Hegelian analysis of the death of a Trimspa model is tempting, my brain is too tapped out to do much beyond contemplating the unbearable cutenessof being that is demonstrated by the WonderBaby...

Hegel's interrogation into the Phenomenology of Spirit can really be most effectively answered by a baby's smile: I am aware of myself as mother because she presents herself to me as known. Also, because she says to me, with that smile: HEY! I SHIT IN THE TUB! FOR YOU!

... I haven't much to say. And in any case, whatever it was that I might have said while under the influence of the complete works of Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, E-Online and one too many glasses of blended scotch, you probably don't want to know.

Wait for it though. Eventually the shame comes and she will cry that she failed you by failing to control her bowels in the tub and you'll be all WTF where did she learn this thing called shame. And you will mourn. Enjoy your smiling tub dump.

I propose you combine the scotch, Hegel, and shit for a new essay. You know I'd read it and then say, "She writes a damn fine blog, that HBM. I want to be her." In fact, I'd read it if it were just about the scotch n' shit.

[That title is now copyrighted and you must ask the express permission of Mocha Momma to use it. That's only because I saw the long-ass, no-vowel word verification waiting for me below.]

I love that you take a philosophical slash comical approach to all you post. It makes me want to french kiss you ...if you were a boy, I'd have a gigantic crush on you right now...ay! what the heck...I have a gigantic crush on you right now.

Thank god you included the fabulous photo of Wonderbaby. All the talk of Hegel's philosophies of self-awareness were making ME long for a few glasses of blended scotch, in which I have cheap taste and a bottle of Dewar's in my liquor cabinet as we speak.

I swear, HBM, that baby of yours has the most stunning features. I don't understand Philosophy, at all, but I know unbearable cuteness when I see it!

CNN went on forever today about "new speculations as to Anna Nicole Smith's cause of death". And how Zsa Zsa freakin' GABOR's husband could be the father of her baby. Rest assured, by next fall some college will have a Pop Culture class with A.N.S. as it's main subject.

Is she spoken for? I mean, because I have a cute, younger man-baby who will be looking for a prom date in about 17 years. Things would be so much easier if I could arrange these things now and not worry that he's going to marry some girl who is afraid of her own poo.

So am I the only one who just assumed that WB was mispronouncing "sit" and was not having a bowel movement in the tub? OUr little guy calls a clock a cock and for the longest time said what sounded like bitch for bridge. Need less to say we get some strange looks in public. That is the cutest smile ever! She is getting so big!

Ah! we went through that a few months back and now i am hysterical about putting him on the potty before the tub!!! Each time I see wonderbaby I wonder if she is real because she is just such a perfect little doll....