After exiting the airport I called an Uber, which was slightly confusing to find. Las Vegas has an Uber waiting area in the parking garage, and the signs to find it aren’t great. I suspect the local taxi mafia is behind it, but in the end it worked out fine, and was a convenient way to get to the hotel.

When I booked my hotel, I had one primary motivation: don’t stay anywhere too exciting so I can manage to get a reasonable amount of sleep. I chose the Westin which was off the strip for this reason. Waited in line over ten minutes to check in, and when I did was told they were 100% full, so I ended up with an old unrefurbished room. Pretty poor platinum treatment, but they did offer 500 starpoints as an apology.

That said, the room was cold and functional, and I slept well, so can’t really complain. Best part…they was a Starbucks in the lobby which was great in the morning. I’d definitely stay there again for a quiet Vegas stay if the price were right, but overall for a Vegas hotel it was very, very unimpressive.

Uber to the airport in the morning, where I got a super awesome driver. She’s a kindergarten teacher who drives Uber in the summer “because I meet all sorts of fascinating people.” She was really awesome, and the first driver I’ve ever given a cash tip to! No line at security, and off to the packed Centurion lounge. Was super impressed to see dragonfruit, but the rest was awful. The waffle was rock hard and the eggs were awful, cold, and rubbery. At least there was Veuve…

Small rant. The lounges are nice enough, but they’re way, way too packed. Maybe that’s expected with a Platinum Card, but they really need to do something for Centurion members. When you pay six times the annual fee, you shouldn’t feel herded into the same cattle lounge. Ok, end rant.

Nothing much to say about this flight. I’d originally booked on American, but it got delayed 90 minutes, so I bought a last minute ticket on Delta which was super reasonable. Short flight, and I recommend the firefly vodka and lemonade as a beverage 😉

Thanks to the semi-new connector tunnel at LAX was able to walk to the Tom Bradley International Terminal (TBIT) without having to reclear security. My first time in the Star Alliance first lounge there, and was very nice. Small, but functional and plenty of space that even when it got full it didn’t feel crowded. The menu of to-order items:

Nothing caught my attention so I decided to stick to the buffet and champers instead:

Great cheese selection AND macarons? Best lounge in the US for sure!

Was offered an escort to the plane by the lounge agent, which I turned down because it just felt awkward. Should have taken it, because when I got to the gate there was already a huge line to board, and when I walked to the front I got yelled at by a couple of angry Europeans that “we’re all waiting in line here!” Rather than get in an argument I just ignored them and walked to the front of the queue, where the agent was happy to board me right away.

Nice matronly crew today, and it didn’t take long for bubbles and macadamia nuts to appear:

Today’s menu:

Did something I never do, and changed into the pyjamas before the door closed. This was a long flight, and I wanted to be comfortable. Oh, and first was full today…three couples obviously on “once in a lifetime” trips and their excitement was contagious. They were all in their PJs the moment they got them, and I have to admit it kind of felt like a fun pyjama party up in there! Other reason is I was nervous Lufthansa would do it’s “turn up the heat to Mediterranean levels” thing, and I didn’t want to sweat through my clothes. Fortunately, nice and cool today, as it has been my last few flights.

Before the door closed amuse bouche was delivered…mmmm Spargelsaison!

Shortly after takeoff the crew was quick to action, and it was caviar time:

I’ve never had such a large portion, AND such an artistic presentation:

Next, the appetizers came around, and I wasn’t given a choice. I was told I would try all three of them plus the salad. For once, they were all super tasty, and I may have finished it all…

Took a risk and went with the filet and pork belly main, and it was delicious. The beef was even cooked medium well, which on a plane I consider a huge success! The veg was good, but too much sauce. It was easily avoided though.

I can never say no to cheese, and today’s selection was super tasty:

Since it was a long flight, I decided why not keep going. The tart was superb, and washed down with a couple of glasses of Johnny Blue it was delicious. Unfortunately, yet another crew who doesn’t understand “one ice cube.” Oh well!

Before the meal, the flight attendant asked if I wished to be woken for breakfast. I told her no, on the off chance I was still sleeping. Since it was a far longer flight from the west coast I expected to be awake, but….seven solid hours of sleep, and I was woken up about 20 minutes from landing. Just enough time to get out of the pyjamas and guzzle a bunch of water. Another superb Lufthansa first experience.

After this trip is over, I’m going to do a comparison of first classes from this year, but so far Lufthansa hit another home run! Next up, the first class terminal and onwards to Dubai…

So…I should preface this whole entry by saying that lots and lots of things on this trip didn’t go as planned. Actually, since I’m still in the middle of the trip, who knows what else will change. Originally, it was to be a trip to Turkmenistan to hit country #195 and then a stop in Crimea on the way home (because, hey, why not). Then things got weird. Really weird. But I think suffice to say I’ll just let it unfold segment by segment.

Originally, the plan was to fly DC to Dubai and then pick up a flight with FlyDubai to Ashgabad. Simple and straightforward. I had a booking DC-Zurich-Dubai on an award ticket in United First and Swiss business. Then, about 12 days before departure, Lufthansa first opened up…but not out of DC. Only out of Chicago. Ok, change of plans number one, I’m going to go DC-Chicago-Frankfurt-Dubai with the last two segments in Lufthansa First. I figure since this is my penultimate country trip, I should go big or go home and enjoy it…so Lufthansa First it was to be.

Then, three days before departure, LAX to Frankfurt opened up on the A380 in first. Sold! Of course, when I booked it, I hadn’t really thought about how I was going to get to LA. I could try flights the same morning, but that was a really risky connection. I could go the night before, but fares to LA were outrageous and there were no first class awards. Wait, what’s this…DC to Las Vegas (via Houston) for a really reasonable price? Sold! Ticketed!

Of course, I hadn’t thought about how to go Las Vegas to Los Angeles the next morning, but I figured American, United, Delta and Southwest all fly the route so something would work out.

So, off to the airport it was! It had been so long since I’d flown domestic that I forgot I couldn’t get into the United Club…but that’s what I save those Chase passes for…right? Unfortunately, turns out after handing it over that it had expired. When I asked if they might accept it this one time, her response was “does it LOOK like it’s 2015 to you?!” Uhh…thanks lounge dragon 🙁 You could have just said “sorry, I can’t do that even though I’d like to.” #Phrasing

Upon boarding was offered full open bar for pre-departures, so I went with a red wine and a water. When did United get these funky blue plastic glasses? Hint to United: doesn’t help them look any classier! I set my watch to Houston time and tried to get on vacation time.

While sipping my 2016 Château l’Oscar I looked out the window and saw this:

Regulated garbage. A very fitting description for US airline catering these days! Then…the pilot came on. We’ve been given a slot time in one hour due to weather in Houston. Ugh. Oh well, flight attendant was great and offered refills on drinks until five minutes later when the pilot came on and informed us we now had a slot time THREE HOURS later due to weather. I called the 1K line instantly and got a very unhelpful agent who told me there was “nothing at all available.” Even when I asked about Chicago, Denver, San Francisco, LA, Dulles, nope, she said no seats anywhere.

Ugh. Since it was going to be three hours we were told to get off the plane, and I made a beeline for the gate where an amazing agent got me the one and only seat via Chicago. Despite all the pressure he was under he did an amazing job and took care of me. Sure, it was the two things I hate: window seats and bulkhead, but he got me out that day!

So, I headed to the bar to get a drink. Where I wondered, wow, how do I have over an hour until my flight to Chicago yet I still get in sooner. That’s when I realized I’d already set my watch to Houston time, and I was about to miss my flight! Ran to the gate where I was pretty much the last one on board, but I made it!

Still had time for a glass of Château l’Oscar while my seatmate proudly informed me he was on his third PDB beer. Good on you! You’re off to Vegas!

Pilot announced we “have to shut the doors five minutes ago before we get hit by this line of storms and don’t get out of here!” Totally agree with him…

After takeoff, there’s not too much to tell. The snack basket came around, and I was glad to see the caramello latte biscotti back in the rotation! Of course, my “water, no ice” wasn’t to be…

Soon, we were on approach to Chicago. Best part of a window seat is the view:

Landed a bit early in Chicago, and made the hike from Terminal C to Terminal B. Ran into a friend who’s a flight attendant for United, and by the time we were done chatting it was time to board the Ma and Pa Kettle Express to Vegas, where everyone thinks they’re in group one. Little hint, when they call Global Services for boarding, nobody actually bothers to check your boarding pass, so you can just waltz right on 😉

Shortly after takeoff, the warm nuts were served. I applaud the new blend which includes pistachios and some other unidentified nut:

Of course, this ramekin should never have been used. I nicely pointed it out to the FA so she could take it out of rotation, and got a “whatever, lots of them are like that.” Ugh, way to be classy United.

The most boring and bland looking meal ever. On the positive side, the broccoli and chicken were perfectly cooked, and when combined with the salad made a relatively healthy meal. For once United wasn’t trying to put me in a carb coma. One of the better meals I’ve had in a while domestically, although that’s not saying a whole lot.

Somewhere after eating this and a couple glasses of wine I passed out…and woke up nearly three hours later just as we were about to land in Vegas:

Overall, it was a relatively uninteresting set of domestic flights. United’s catering has clearly gotten slightly better, but the grumpy attitudes of a few flight attendants are still detracting from their attempts to do better. Major kudos, however, to ground staff (not club staff) who really took an unfortunate weather situation and turned it around for me. In retrospect, they did the best they could in a bad situation and got me where I needed to be. So overall, a net win for United on this one!

Next up….now….how do I get to Los Angeles? Called an Uber who took me to the Westin Las Vegas, which I’ll review in the next post…

Tame last night in Vegas, and after dinner ended up sitting around having a few drinks. Was watching some tv and texting on my phone and…

…and next thing I knew it was 5 minutes before I’d planned to leave the hotel in the morning. Ugh, I’d fallen asleep texting/watching tv…and my phone was completely dead so the alarm never went off. I’d never done that before. Quick shower, packing, and was out the door about 15 minutes later than planned. No big emergency, but incredibly lucky I woke up when I did. I guess all the time zone changing and tiredness finally caught up to me and the body just crashed.

Made it to the airport in plenty of time, there was no line at security, and soon I found the AmEx Centurion lounge. The agent asked me how I’d liked the LaGuardia Lounge (impressive CRM – and good database) and offered to show us around if we needed anything. I just wanted breakfast at this point.

Some tasty pancakes and fruit, along with a poached egg in tomato basil sauce which was delicious. Oh, and a glass of Veuve. Won’t want to go cold turkey and risk getting the shakes or something! One nice thing the Centurion lounges do for Centurion card holders is offer a special drink at each lounge. At both LaGuardia and Vegas it’s Veuve or a glass of Johnny Walker Blue. I figured 8a was ok for champagne, but later in the day it would be a hard choice….

Originally, I had ticketed Vegas-Houston-Chicago-DCA because I was afraid I might be short on qualifying miles this year. But at this point, I was exhausted…and there was one seat on the Houston-DC nonstop in P class so I called United to try and make a same day confirmed change. After being on hold 15 minutes, the agent had no clue how to do it, and pulled the “it’s under airport control” excuse. Ugh.

Not terribly much to say on this flight. I wasn’t very hungry after the lounge, but took the breakfast for photo purposes. Ok, I actually ate the fruit and greek yogurt and a couple bites of the egg, but that was all. I’d had way way too much United food on this trip, and was rather over it. The other option was the usual cereal and banana, which today was raisin bran.

Landed in Houston a few minutes ahead of schedule, checked ExpertFlyer, and there was still one P seat on the nonstop to DC, so I tried to use the app to change it…and it worked! Yes, United technology succeeded where an actual agent couldn’t…go figure! I’d get home nearly four hours sooner, which was sounding absolutely fantastic at this point!

I stopped at Le Grand Comptoir to wait for my flight, and had a couple of glasses of prosecco while waiting:

Not only had I gotten on the earlier flight, but I had an aisle seat in row 2 – my preferred seat. Clearly it was my lucky day!

One last class of Domaine Ste Jeff and one last bowl of discount warm nuts:

Today’s lunch was some sort of sandwich on pretzel bread, bread on no plate, and scary halloween colored soup:

Chatted with my seatmate a bit, who was a flyertalker coming back from Singapore (or was it Bangkok?) and was a fan of my trip reports. Made the flight fly by, and soon landed at DCA ahead of schedule. A very busy, very packed, very successful trip down in the books.

So, was it worth it? Absolutely! Although I would have liked to have more time in Paris, Barcelona, Andorra, and Hawaii, it was a great trip. I had lots of really cool experiences, saw lots of new things, managed to visit a new country, and had a great time driving through the mountains. The trip made for some fantastic stories, and I’d love to do something similar again…but not any time too soon!

I woke up early. Way too early. I somehow managed a shower and managed to cram things into my bag. I found the elevator. I tried to speak French to the check out people. “Aloha, j’voudrais faire le chcekout.” Um, non. Coffee. Stat. Medical need.

Hawaii Coffee Company was closed. I mean, yeah, it is 4:30am, but does the Geneva Convention on torture not apply here? They are denying treatment to someone with a serious medical condition. I’m calling Obama!

Quick…and chatty…taxi to the airport. Great thing about 4am is it’s 10am in DC, and friends back home were pinging me to make sure I was still alive and functional, and about to appear in Vegas for a bachelor party. Oh that. Yes, because I hadn’t put my body through enough in the last 5-6 days. There’s a bachelor party to do.

Got to HNL, Pre Check was closed, but went through the elite line with a special pass that meant I didn’t have to take shoes off or take laptop out, so colour me a happy camper. Less than 5 minutes from taxi through security – can’t beat the aloha. DO YOU HEAR THAT DULLES? HUH?!

Went to Starbucks in search of emergency supplies…and there was a line. A very long line. Filled with what appeared to be half of America’s armed forces. I’ve never minded a line so little.. I bought coffee. I supported the troops. Yeah…moving on…

So what was for breakfast? Well, there was fruit, which was decent and semi-fresh. There was grape juice with bubbles, which was also pretty good. The carb roll was good for 2 bites as usual until I felt the need for an emergency dental appointment. Then, the main. The seasoned hockey puck, I mean sausage, was a total no-go as usual. The potatoes…well I’m not sure what’s in them…it could be crack or heroin, but I inhaled them. The eggs? Flavourless as usual, but I kept telling myself they might contain large amounts of protein, so forced them down. The tomato…well, I ate it because it was colour. The mean was far too tan and yellow without it.

Earlier this year, United published, either by mistake or not – it’s not entirely clear – a $1500 all-inclusive business class fare for the summer from a handful of U.S. cities to a handful of European cities. There were somewhere around 100 possible combinations. Unfortunately, Washington was not one of them.

This was probably a good thing, because my leave time for 2014 is already all committed, due to my upcoming four weeks in the South Pacific in November, and two plus weeks in East Africa over new years.

But wait…Baltimore is on the list…now that’s tempting…even for a three day weekend. But it was $1500 for any combination…Baltimore felt lame when perhaps I could do it from the west coast. Yup, I found San Diego…but that meant getting to San Diego…and if I’m going to go all the way to San Diego, I wonder if….YES once again United seems to want to FORCE me to go to Hawaii. Honolulu to Paris, business class in August, $1500. In contrast, the lowest coach fare at the time was about $1650. This is an absolute bargain.

Alas, I didn’t have the leave. Didn’t stop me from looking how I could conserve days, and when I could do it. Wait, I need to be in Las Vegas for a bachelor party late-August. Las Vegas is on the way back to DC from Hawaii. That was already planned Wednesday through Friday, so I just needed a way to get Monday-Tuesday off. I trimmed a couple days off my South Pacific trip…and it was set.

Now…to justify the cost of flying to Hawaii. Ok, Hawaii-Paris would earn 25,000 more miles than DC-Paris, so that justifies $400 of the fare to Hawaii. My ticket to Vegas was going to be $1200 for a P fare, so suddenly $1600 is justified. Buying DC-Honolulu and upgrading with a regional upgrade, done. One way Honoulu-Vegas on a P fare…done. Vegas to DC on a P fare…done. It was all too perfect.

Unfortunately, to guarantee the upgrade, I had to fly DCA-Cleveland-LA-Honolulu. Ugh. Leaving at 6am. Double ugh. Oh well. But then, there was a schedule change. I whined to United I wasn’t comfortable with a 30 minute connection in Cleveland now. I found upgrade space on DCA-San Francisco-Honolulu leaving at 8:30 – 2.5 hours later – and connecting to the same Honolulu flight. I begged. They relented. It was getting too awesome. Simply too awesome.

The routing was set:

You may have noticed Barcelona in there. See, I decided that 48 hours in Paris in August might get boring since the city clears out a bit. Plus, I’ve been to Paris literally dozens of times. So, I did what any good country collector would…set out to find the last country in Europe I haven’t been to: Andorra. Only way really to get there is to drive from Barcelona and Toulouse. Barcelona had better flight connections…plus, the only automatic transmission rental car I could get was a Smart Car. The chance to drive, my 6’3 self in a smart car, through the Pyrenees was way too much to pass up. I booked it.

Then, looking at a map of Andorra, I noticed something super fun.

See this?

Thats Llívia, Spain, a little tiny Spanish enclave not connected to Spain, but completely surrounded by France. To a geography nerd like me this is perhaps the coolest thing ever. Then, I thought…wait, I’m going to enter Andorra from Spain…I could exit out the other side of Andorra into France, and then drive to Llívia, back into Spain!

But of course, this isn’t nerdy enough. So, I’ll get to Andorra, and spend the night. Next morning, drive into France, then back into Spain at Llívia, and have coffee…or whatever one does late morning in Spain. Then, I’ll drive for a very short way BACK into France at Bourg-Madame and have a nice lunch. Maybe a Croque Madame in Bourg-Madame…then back to Spain and Barcelona Airport, where I will fly to Paris for the night. Before flying back to Hawaii.

So, are you lost yet? So far we’ve done:

Day 1: DCA-San Francisco-Hawaii – Overnight Honolulu

Day 2: Day in Honolulu, and Honolulu-DC redeye

Day 3: All day in DC where I hope to have brunch with friends, play some hockey, before the redeye DC-Paris

Day 4: Paris-Barcelona, drive in my little Smart Car to Andorra

Day 5: Drive Andorra to France to Llívia, Spain for coffee, to Bourg-Madame, France for lunch, to Barcelona, Spain for a flight to Paris, France where I’ll spend the night, get a great meal hopefully and maybe some drinks with friends.

Whew. Because next up is:

Day 6: Paris-San Francisco-Honolulu, and dinner in Honolulu

Day 7: Honolulu-San Francisco-Vegas

Day 8-9-10: Vegas. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Day 11: Vegas-Houston-DC

I’m already tired, and the trip hasn’t started. If I pack strategically, I can take a suitcase to Honolulu on Day 1, with everything I’ll need in Vegas, and leave it there to be picked up on Day 6. Of course, if I forget anything, I have 10 hours (random) in DC on Day 3 to pick up anything I forgot…plus pack a weekend bag for Paris and Andorra, lol

It was spread a bit too widely to be a mistake fare, and Air Canada, Lufthansa, and Brussels Airlines matched the fares too, so it seems this one was intentional. However, it was odd. Fares from a majority of US cities, excluding United hub cities of course, to a variety of cities in Europe for $500 roundtrip plus taxes and fuel surcharges. Depending on the cities it came to roughtly $1400 to $1600 total.

Of course, when I saw Honolulu was in the mix, I had to jump on it!

Problem was, since United massively devalued miles earlier this year, I cashed in around 500,000 so my travel year is packed. And this deal would only be valid in July and August, when I already had some other commitments. Early July was out, since I was already going to St. Kitts for a long weekend. Late July/Early August also wouldn’t be good time-wise…and I was to go to Vegas the last weekend of August for a bachelor party. Wait. Vegas is on the way from Honolulu to DC…kind of. This got me thinking….

Getting to Honolulu is easy…and can be done in one day. I found a routing that would instantly confirm with a United regional upgrade as well. So far this is working well.

Now, Hawaii to Europe on the business class deal… settled on HNL-IAD-CDG since it has a 10 hour layover in DC, enough time for me to repack bag, run any errands I might need to…or just be silly since it’s a Sunday.

I’d have just over 48 hours in Paris. From what I remember Paris is rather dead in August, so I won’t likely stay there…but I might. I’m also looking at buying roundtrip flights down to Toulouse, renting a car, and driving to Andorra for the night…the last country I need to visit in Europe. Any thoughts on this? I arrive into CDG around 6am and depart two days later around 10am.

On the way back, I’m doing the ultra-long CDG-SFO-HNL…going to be a very long day…and a very short night in HNL, because at 6am the next day I fly HNL-LAX which confirmed instantly with a regional upgrade, and LAX-LAS which wouldn’t confirm, so ended up paying like $40 more for a P fare. Bargain of an upcharge!

Then, the only decision was how to get back from Vegas. Since I’m looking to be a bit shorter on qualifying dollars than qualifying miles, I decided to go with the United P fare routing LAS-IAH-ORD-DCA. Probably should have skipped the ORD, but it was the same price…and what’s one more flight at this point?