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Occupy Hell: How come 1% of the forumers get 99% of the gifts?! [Secret Satans]

And on the inside, a poop joke!
(Sorry this was cut off, it reads:
It's funny because the dog pooped in the stocking!

dear Bogey,
merry "x-mas" to you!
I hope that this message does not find you blue
I ran all over, finding just the right things
to make sure your holiday would not lack for *bling*
also there's candy, a traditional treat
something to munch on while you put up your feet)

GAHHHHHHH! Look at all this great stuff!
Final Fantasy Tactics for the psp (I lent out my copy so many years ago after only playing it a few hours, and never got it back so this is s amazing,) Mastering the Art of French Cooking (I can't wait to make something from this over the holidays!), a chopper/scraper (which the cat is blocking but will be joyfully put to use soon), a Santa Claus figure (that is going to sit right on my desk) and some yummy chocolate!

So after some Internet Detective Work, I verified that my Secret Satan's identity was... @Centipede Damascus!!
Thank you again so much, this was such a great surprise and Happy Holidays to you and your family!

Aw shucks, I'm glad everything worked out there. That v-log gave me a great smile too!
I had no idea how long it would take, or if it would safely travel. I had a dream that the C+H would crush the chocolate to mush!
There was one custom mystery gift that mistakenly didn't ship, so I decided to go digital. (It was something weird anyway)

I'm glad those E-books were so well received. I had enjoyed most of those books from the public library here, so I was down with sending them your way.

Merry Christmas. You should expect two small somethings in your inbox/stockings on the 25th!

Contents:
1. Letter expressing why receiving this gift of Texan cultural artifacts should be an honor.
2. Salsa which I will be enjoying this very night on top of some vegetarian tacos.
3. Beer Cozy
4. Dancing and singing penis toy. I hear in texas they have to legally call this a "novelty."
5. G. W. poster.
6. A dream-catcher depicting the noble buffalo and Native American. I can only assume this is celebrating Texans victory over these proud and noble creatures/peoples.
7. A secession bumper sticker. I am actually a huge proponent of this cause.

Contents:
1. Letter expressing why receiving this gift of Texan cultural artifacts should be an honor.
2. Salsa which I will be enjoying this very night on top of some vegetarian tacos.
3. Beer Cozy
4. Dancing and singing penis toy. I hear in texas they have to legally call this a "novelty."
5. G. W. poster.
6. A dream-catcher depicting the noble buffalo and Native American. I can only assume this is celebrating Texans victory over these proud and noble creatures/peoples.
7. A secession bumper sticker. I am actually a huge proponent of this cause.

@A Duck!
I've been loving these games. I knew I'd enjoy Bushido Blade and Culdcept, but I found an unexpected bonus of having my friends get really into it.

Aside from that, I've started going through Einhander, and it's pretty challenging. These hard levels coupled with the excellent music, really make for some fun times.
I haven't played Way of the Samurai 3 yet, but I'm looking forward to it!

As much as I loved my gifts, I wish someone had sent me a grumpy looking cat. Bogey has all the luck!

I'd send you our grumpy cat, but then you'd have a grumpy cat to deal with.

Honestly, considering I have 7 grumpy cats, I'm not sure I would notice anymore.
And really, with the way shipping is, I would end up with a grumpy cat corpse and then my 7 grumpy cats would eat it. Then barf. Then I would be grumpy.
Maybe I'll just paint one on the side of my swanky 360. Oh yeah!

And Bogey, I tried wrestling a Santa hat on one of the cats for a Christmas picture. The only thing I got out of it was a large gash that I am pretty sure is going to scar. I don't know why I don't throw that cat over the fence.

Aw shucks, I'm glad everything worked out there. That v-log gave me a great smile too!
I had no idea how long it would take, or if it would safely travel. I had a dream that the C+H would crush the chocolate to mush!
There was one custom mystery gift that mistakenly didn't ship, so I decided to go digital. (It was something weird anyway)

I'm glad those E-books were so well received. I had enjoyed most of those books from the public library here, so I was down with sending them your way.

Merry Christmas. You should expect two small somethings in your inbox/stockings on the 25th!

That's why I did the unboxing, man! The best part of giving gifts is watching people unwrap them. I'm just sorry I couldn't do something similar for the Kindle gifts. The books are awesome, by the way; I did a whole take that got lost with a dramatic reading from one of them.

But The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, man, that's something else entirely. I never in a million years expected to get that. I genuinely teared up a little bit when I saw it.

So thank you for being a wonderful Satan, and I really hope I don't get you next year because I have no idea how I'd top this.