Big Bird approves this message

After last week's abysmal and boring presidential debate forced us to listen to an endless marathon of the same droning rhetoric we've endured in political TV ads and news reports over the past six months, it seems the only one who won in the polls was Big Bird.

During the debate, Mitt Romney disclosed one of his few concrete plans for addressing the national deficit -- cutting funding to PBS. Despite that, he insisted he really loves Big Bird.

Perhaps his willingness to sacrifice Big Bird was an effort to compete with President Barack Obama offing Bin Laden.

It wasn't the smartest move, considering 77 million Americans of voting age watched "Sesame Street" as children and many people consider PBS the country's most trusted institution. Then again, perhaps the Sesame Street crew -- which does seem to be unemployed and not necessarily educated beyond the sixth grade -- is among Romney's infamous 47 percent who are dependent upon the government.

Regardless, the only one folks were talking about after the debate was Big Bird. A Twitter spokesperson reported that double B was the subject of 17,000 tweets per minute at one juncture in the evening.

For days after, the 200-pound canary turned up in news reports and late-night satires and was the topic of conversation at water coolers. With that in mind, perhaps Big Bird should run for president.

Think about the benefits!

Big Bird could live in a nest in the Rose Garden, eliminating a small fortune in heating bills, maintenance and cleaning staff at the White House.

At 8 feet 2 inches, with the ability to pull off fly-by waste bombings, foreign leaders would never mess with him.

His ability to dance, sing, and ride a unicycle might even get Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to crack a smile.

If Bert, Ernie, Grover, Snuffleupagus and Count von Count could be elected to Congress, their spirit of harmony might just enable the country to actually get something accomplished.

In the meantime, I think the entire Sesame Street gang should be given Secret Service protection. Word on the street says Paul Ryan is trying to get Hoots the Owl off the endangered species list and Fox News' Bill O'Reilly is organizing an Elmo Hunt, sponsored by the NRA.

Is nothing sacred?

Follow Monica on Twitter at twitter.com/sassnthecity or e-mail her at lewis.427@hotmail.com.