It’s just a nipple and I hate blurring one, but I really don’t want read an email today that says: “I WAS FIRED FOR HAVING RIRI’S LACE-COVERED ALIEN NIP ON MY SCREEN!” So I blurred her nip out on the top pic. This pic will also be on top for a while, because for the next few hours I’ll be lying on my back with my mouth wide open (“And this is new news to us how?” – you). Today is the official coming out party for my remaining wisdom teeth (or as my dentist calls them, your “notasdumbastheotherones” teeth). FUN! Here’s hoping they all come out intact, because I really want to make nipple rings out of them.

My dentist says that my wisdom teeth have pretty much busted through my gums already, so it shouldn’t be that hard or painful to yank them out. Afterward, he’ll pop a Vicodin in my mouth hole and I’ll be back on Dlisted. I never make sense to sober brains, so maybe the afternoon delight Vicodin pill will kick something in my brain and I’ll start making sense (but probably not).

For now, I leave you with these pictures of RiRi doing the walk of no shame in NYC yesterday while dressed like a lot lizard on a Salvation Army budget. I like how the look on the lady on the right’s face is saying, “Bitch, your nipples look like they’re on a seesaw. Fix them before putting them on display!” She speaks for all of us.

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