International Women's Day Sirdeaner Walker: Tragedy turned into activism

The Republican - Mark M. Murray"You're not born a bully, it's a learned behavior." Sirdeaner Walker

Sirdeaner Walker is proof that the courageous efforts of one person can make a difference.

“It’s a very hard thing to do to have to share Carl’s story, especially when I see his friends who were on his sports teams and I see they’re in ninth grade now and how tall they are. I can’t help but reflect on how he would have looked had he lived to be in ninth grade,” said Walker about her son, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, who committed suicide in 2009 after being repeatedly bullied at school.

Walker has turned her personal tragedy into a national campaign to make schools safe environments and to stop bullying. One of the things that frustrated Walker early on in her activism was the numbers of people who view bullying as an unfixable problem. She believes people can learn to stand up to bullies with the right tools and with communities built on respect.

“When I speak to children, I ask how many have been bullied and not a lot of hands go up. I ask how many have seen someone being bullied and nearly everyone in the auditorium raises their hands. It’s a real wake-up call when teachers see all the students’ hands raised up to know that something is going wrong and there is a problem,” Walker said.

Walker believes that professional development and training, a large component of the proposed federal anti-bully legislation known as Safe Schools Improvement Act, needs to be an ongoing process so students will reach out to teachers and administration when bullying occurs.

The act, introduced into the U.S. House of Representatives in 2009 to amend the Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965, calls on schools and districts that receive federal funds to enact measures to prohibit bullying or harassment on the basis of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, disability, sexual orientation and perceived or actual gender identity.

It would also mandate that states report data on bullying and harassment to the Department of Education.

Walker feels that young bullies need to be helped before their behavior becomes part of a bigger problem in society.

“You’re not born a bully, it’s a learned behavior. Something else is going on in that young person’s life to make them feel empowered by making someone else feel less than,” said Walker, who testified in July 2009 in front of the House Subcommittees on Early Childhood, Elementary and Secondary Education and Healthy Families and Communities in support of the Safe Schools act.

Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover

Walker has appeared on national media in support of anti-bullying legislation, spoken before countless school groups of all ages and was instrumental in the passage of anti-bully legislation in Massachusetts in December. She had a brief private meeting at the White House with President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama during the president’s all-day conference on bullying prevention on March 10, 2011.

She fully supports the work of the year-old local Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover Foundation (www.carljoseph11), founded by Springfield resident Gwynnetta Sneed, to give scholarships to area students in memory of Carl. He was an 11-year-old sixth-grader at New Leadership Charter School, when he hanged himself in the family home. Walker has said her son was persistently bullied and called gay.

The now canceled ABC television show, “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,” built the family a new home in September and has helped promote their anti-bully efforts through the web site, standtogether.tv.

Walker is on the national board of directors of GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network, and collaborates with the Safe Schools Coalition, an international public-private partnership in support of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth.

"There’s still a lot more work to be done. There are other states across the country that do not have anything in place. Even though we’ve raised awareness, I’ve will not be satisfied until there is federal anti-bullying legislation passed with the Safe Schools Improvement Act,” Walker said.

During the White House anti-bully conference, Walker was able to sit down with both the president and first lady to share the story of Carl whom she has said like to play sports and read and who dreamed of attending Morehouse College, the only all-male, historically black institution in the United States.

She also met with other parents who had lost their children to bullying.

“We all were invited to the White House and that was a healing process for us. It was very emotional but also a very great moment because it let you know that you weren’t alone and that even though I might be in Massachusetts working on this, there are other families doing that same thing across the country,” said Walker of the bittersweet friendships that she’s made with families from Oklahoma, Minnesota, California and Florida.

Walker, born and raised in Springfield, is a graduate of Classical High School where she earned a full scholarship to study accounting at Boston College and later a degree in law from Suffolk University. She said her parents were her biggest influences growing up because they instilled in her the importance of an education.

“My parents were raised in the segregated South. My father had to leave school and my Mom couldn’t finish college because there was no money or scholarships. They really realized how important it was to have that education and that’s why I try to instill it not only in my children but anyone that I come across,” Walker said.

Resolved to make a difference in her community, Walker worked for the government’s Homeowners’ Assistance program (HAP) until she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004 while pregnant with her youngest daughter, Gloria. Now in her seventh year of remission, she runs a transitional housing program for families work as director of homeless programs for the Massachusetts Career Development Institute.

Just like her work with anti-bullying, she tells the people in her program to not let those the labels define who they are.

“I tell them that right now you do have some barriers but you’re working to remove those barriers so you can go to the next level. Sometimes when we have these labels define who we are and it affects everything that we do. The bottom line, since I work with families, is that you want your children to have a better life than you had.”

In her program, Walker has two years to work with individuals to get them permanent housing and to the point where they are self-sufficient and thinking about school, whether it be for the high school equivalency degree, vocational training or college. She also encourages them to register to vote and to never ever miss a parent teacher conference.

“Having access to an education uplifts everyone and it gets you out of poverty. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to have a struggle or that you’ll have money overflowing but what it will do is it will set your children up so that future generations that you may not see will be on that right path,” she said.

Walker knows her children — Gloria, 7, Charles, 9, and Dominique, a freshman at Bennet College for Women in Greensboro, N.C., keep their brother Carl close to their hearts. She hopes they will discover their passions as they live their lives and will always be understanding of others.

“At the end of the day, I want my children to realize that we are more alike than we are different. That’s what I’ve learned through the journey that I’ve been on.”