If you take D’J Caruso’s latest movie with a pinch of salt (remember when 80s action was cool?) then I guarantee two things you will have shit loads of fun & you will leave the cinema with a nice big smile…

This is the third movie in the spy franchise xXx: Return of Xander Cage“After returning from a self-imposed exile, Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) must recover an evil known only as Pandora’s Box before the bad guys uses this weapon for mass destruction “ – Alongside action star Vin Diesel the films mind blowingly awesome cast also includes Donnie Yen, Nina Dobrev, Toni Collette, Ruby Rose, Deppika Padukone and Samuel L Jackson….

You know what I really dug about this movie?…. the insane amount of action, high octane totally bonkers fight scenes and the films ability not to take itself too serious – it’s all about entertainment and from that stance it most certainly succeeds – I mean come on how on earth can you not enjoy watching Xander Cage ski down a hillside weaving through trees and shit followed by some incredible skate boarding whilst shooting bad guys? that incredible moment when Xander faces off against Donnie Yen’s Xiang in a “holy shit that just happened” wave tunnel? the many hand to hand combat scenes mostly too epic to discuss? the return of an old friend in a great warehouse shootout and so many more delicious, breathless, relentless moments that fulfill the movies ultimate quest in giving it’s audience such an unbelievable cinematic buzz….

OK so listen up – xXx: Return of Xander Cage is not going to sweep the Oscars anytime soon, it’s not even gonna reinvent the genre, and it’s script won’t be compared to Schindler’s List or the like so if that’s what your expecting when buying a ticket at the box office then please be warned this slice of action pie is not for you – going to see this movie is like attending a party you will be expected to have fun right, enjoy oneself and remember regardless of what Bond style shit goes down this is only a movie – along with it’s crazy action madness watching Vampire Diaries’sNina Dobrev playing a ditzy “Q” type character with a sense of humor and that damn fine Aussie Ruby Rose hanging from a tree shooting bad guys didn’t half raise the pulse, two ladies having so much fun & both so bloody good in their respective roles….

xXx: Return of Xander Cage is movie escapism at it’s finest, a COOL as f@ck action movie that made me smile from the opening 5 minutes to it’s end credits – D’J Caruso should sign up for a fourth movie so let’s make it happen and the sooner the better…. ★★★★

Director: James Gunn – Cast: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Lee Pace, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Djimon Hounsou, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close & Benicio del Toro – also vocals by: Vin Diesel & Bradley Cooper– Synopsis: The movie starts on a very somber note (hankies ready) by giving us a little bit of background on the young Peter Quill, his mum’s fate and how he ends up becoming Star-Lord the rogue outlaw, thief and womanizer – zooming on 26yrs and Quill is on the planet Morag attempting to steal his latest bounty an orb and sell it on Xandar the home world of Nova Corps and that’s when all the fun really starts – Verdict:Guardians has to be the first movie set around a comic book universe that I honestly didn’t know what to expect going into the cinema – and when Star-Lord this rough and ready outlaw starts dancing across the screen, his feet splashing in the puddles stomping to the beat a homage no doubt to 80s classic Footloose I knew instantly that this film from the guys who’s brought us Iron Man and The Avengers was going to be so so different – Overall: James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy is a sexy adrenalin fueled space opera that not only looks beautiful but delivers a sublime balance of wit, jaw dropping visuals, delicious & fun loving characters and a soundtrack that is pure yum! Hats off to James Gunn in not only delivering the best Marvel Movie to date but also entrusting Chris Pratt in the lead role of Peter Quill aka : Star-Lord – possibly the greatest piece of casting since Ford played Solo – Guardians is one of them rare cinematic events that I would gladly pay to watch again, it’s CGI is seamless bringing the likes of Groot and his sidekick Rocket to life in a quite beautiful, humorous and screen hugging way – the villains of Guardians played out by Lee Pace’s evil Ronan the Accuser and Gillan’s supervillain Nebula are hugely effective both reminding me of villains from old scifi flicks of yesteryear, both delicious to watch and proving great adversaries to the Guardians – not only is Guardians of the Galaxy one of my favorite movies of 2014 but it’s my favorite comic book adaption period – don’t forget it’s a Marvel Movie so make sure you stay until after the end credits for a few outrageous extras….

COMEDY Movie Quotes

“I'm a mog - half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend” - Spaceballs (1987)
“I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used to rub the dirty parts” - Bananas (1971)
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I” - What About Bob? (1991)
“Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention” - Dumb and Dumber (1994)
“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son” - Animal House (1978)
“Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes” - Naked Gun 33 ½ : The Final Insult (1994)
"Yes, it's true. This man has no dick" - Ghost Busters (1984)
"I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?" - Meet the Parents (2000)

Movie Taglines

"They called him 'Fast Eddie'... He was a winner... He was a loser... He was a hustler" - THE HUSTLER (1961)

"For Three Men The Civil War Wasn't Hell. It Was Practice!" - THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY (1966)

"The night HE came home" - HALLOWEEN (1978)

"All the power on earth can't change destiny" - THE GODFATHER PART III