We get along so well. I can't tell her though because she has a boyfriend. It's seriously making work hard to enjoy. And I also love my job. I work at a childrens museum so I don't want to mess that up either. Any advise?

Same thing happened to me man. I was really into a girl I worked with but she had a boyfriend for the first year or so that I knew her. When she finally broke up with him, I had already been friendzoned hard. We're still really good friends but it sucks cause I still sorta like her. So I guess my advice is don't get friendzoned lol.

Yo, I can't be with the best girl I've ever known because of her position against age differences, and I cannot stand just being friends because it's like lying to yourself to remain that way. Chyll styll get dat dolla dolla byll fo ryll yeh

hahah, i was being serious with this "girls with boyfriends should be easier to get cause you're only competing with one dude and not the rest of the world" only problem with that is you'll probably have trust issues since she's already left someone else for you

What I learned is that you need to say your shit to the girl and get around that friend zone shit. If the answer is no, don't be friends if you can't handle that shit. Simple as that. You'll forget about her in due time...I know this from experience. I'm a fucking doctor. But also a lovelorn soul seeking love in this indifferent universe.

Tell her how you feel and let her know that you can't hang with her anymore for that reason. Just say your not the type to covet another dudes woman and you'd rather preserve the friendship you've had. This will help in a few ways. You can now let her know that if she is amenable in the future you may be around. It will stop you from spinning out of control and crashing and burning your friendship and making an ass out of yourself. It will force her to consider you as an option for relationship if she was ever going to. You can stop being the friend that wants to fuck her/her daily confidence booster (she probably knows already bro). Finally you can stop feeling like shit about yourself all the time and actually get your head into finding an available woman.

Wouldn't you rather step back clear your head and begin to enjoy your job again?

omnipanzer gave great advice the most important aspect of dealing with women is confidence. by just coming out and saying how you feel (if you word it properly) will leave a good impression and just open up doors for the future.

remember confidence=key, you could be super good looking but if you clearly have no sense of how to assert yourself then girls will think you are either not interested or a gigantic pussy (speaking from personal experience here)

i dunno flutter if you care enough you'll try and not shy away from the pain. I'm not one for just letting things go, but you have to be able to move on afterwards which for me is pretty easy. For some people they dote on shyt for way too long so if you're a doter than take flutters advice

option 2: use boyfriend destroyers. Psychological trick in which you work her boyfriend up to be such an amazing guy that he can never live up to the expectations and likes him less as a result. What you do is tell her 'oh I am sure he is great for you I bet he does (insert here) for you." making her realize all of his imperfections. Called the Strawman Theory.

"people that try to move in on others happiness should be beat to near death."

Not if you believe she'd be happier with you. Most of the time the answer is no, but still you have to ask yourself that question. If you think no, then leave her be, because you want her to be happy right?

i see that, and that overtly selfish attitude means you should be alone. You can't try to assume what's best for someone else unless your their parent or caregiver. The golden rule applies heavily in this situation

"i see that, and that overtly selfish attitude means you should be alone. You can't try to assume what's best for someone else unless your their parent or caregiver. The golden rule applies heavily in this situation"

Maybe you can't. I have backed off quite a couple of times, even when there was a girl who said she loved me when she was already in a relationship with someone else. I told her I'd be the bad choice for her. So don't fucking tell me about morality!

Everyones different advise is making my head want to explode. i want to tell her but i don't want to fuck up my job. also the guy she's with is a nice guy. don't want to fuck him over either. so in the end i think i should leave it for a while. it just sucks. it's not often i feel strong feelings physically, emotionally, and intellectually for a girl.

Sorry to butt into this convo with my own problem, but I want to see what others would say based on
what y'all are saying: So if this girl turns me away because of our 5 years difference (despite
everything else going for me and talking to me every day since meeting) and says that she has
reconnected with someone she knew for 4 years and who is older than her, was it wrong of me to force
myself away and stop talking to her thus probably ending a friendship?

You can't just tell her how you feel because she could use those feelings against you trust me I've had that happen to me. Your best bet is to survey the situation from a distance and you know develop a closer friendship. Invite her to hang with you and OTHER people. If the two of you are meant to be then she will develop feelings for you too. If you just tell her she might get scared off right away and that's immediate friendzone.

And like I said before, I have yet backed off a number of times, even in cases where it was me who was hit upon. Just because I knew the guy was a good match for her, but there were some sides of each other they hadn't actually seen. Now they communicate better and all is well.

Anyway psite: since your infatuation with this woman peaks at the place where you work I wouldn't in any case try something out of the ordinary/ your comfort zone. It's your work we're talking about, plus she has a boyfriend so your chances are very slim either way.

What you could do is try to find out how serious her relationship is, if there's any chance the relationship will come to an end soon you could stay available in the future and see how things develop between the two of you. Otherwise you should try to avoid her a bit (if that's possible), seeing each other every day isn't very helpful for letting go of someone. It needs time.

"yeah this kind of thing is happening to me right now, and it sucks FUCKING COCK. at 1st i was friends with her. i new she had a boyfriend, i didnt care. cause at that time i didnt "love" her. but when i got too know her more it just so happens her boyfriend moves. so i was like oh shit maybe i got a chance and stuff, but nope they are still to fucking together and i spilled my heart out to her well i didnt tell her that i love her, like LOVE LOVE. not like friendly love bullshit just sit down and think this threw psite45 dont fuck yourself"

This is kind of what I'm suggesting you avoid... he's driving himself nuts.

@andcas, i've never had anyone call me a sociopath before. i have some humanistic values. in fact, i'd say my statement shows that i care about the two people enough to end their continued waste of time. but this is all talk, breaking up people takes work that i'm not willing to put in

"Sorry to butt into this convo with my own problem, but I want to see what others would say based on what y'all are saying: So if this girl turns me away because of our 5 years difference (despite everything else going for me and talking to me every day since meeting) and says that she has reconnected with someone she knew for 4 years and who is older than her, was it wrong of me to force myself away and stop talking to her thus probably ending a friendship?"

Self preservation bro, walk the fuck away. It's is beyond stupid to make yourself nuts over a chick you can't have. Again - speaking from experience not judgement.

@andcas, it's mostly talk. even if i considered it, i would feel too bad before i made any kind of attempt. i usually show respect to everyone, which would include those in a relationship. hell, i can't even do anything with anyone my friends have been with cause it just feels weird. however, i still think that one would be doing a couple a favor if they broke them up, cause obviously the relationship couldn't hold with some interference. dunno if that's insensitive, but seems more productive to me

"Self preservation bro, walk the fuck away. It's is beyond stupid to make yourself nuts over a chick
you can't have. Again - speaking from experience not judgement."

Yeah, I get that. I just, for reasons I think I explained before (being the only girl in my world with
her qualities), I'm kind of kicking myself for a loss at this opportunity...even if the ball wasn't
directly in my court. I mean, it's kind of doubtful that others with her traits are out there. That's
the worst part. Similar situations have happened before, but the girls themselves (in hindsight) were
not worth it so all was good.

if your physique STARTS to deteriorate at 40 than your a super hero and need to act accordingly. like right now my fuking neighbor keeps stealing my parking spot. Come here and punch a hole in his face for me

I'm not just telling bakker, I've been through this. I danced the dance for years and finally told her how I felt, and nothing happened because she had a boyfriend. I forgot all about it until this year when she came clean and told me she always returned the feeling, broke up with her bf, and started going out with me.

I was heartbroken when she first denied me, but it was worth it in the end. Even if nothing ever came of it, at least I was able to move on.

That's the sad truth I have already accepted really? I'm happy as a single person, thoug always longing for that potential completion to my soul. But I'm not one to kill my frustrations having one night stands an all, no.

"I think I explained before (being the only girl in my world with her qualities), I'm kind of kicking myself for a loss at this opportunity...even if the ball wasn't directly in my court. I mean, it's kind of doubtful that others with her traits are out there. That's the worst part. Similar situations have happened before, but the girls themselves (in hindsight) were not worth it so all was good."

This is exactly what I'm suggesting not do or get away from doing. Others with her traits are out there I promise.