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Sexual Health and Intimacy

Sexuality is an integral part of us all, regardless of age, gender, health and physical ability. Sexuality encompasses all the feelings, attitudes and behaviours that contribute to our sense of who we are.

After a brain injury, you may experience changes to your sexuality. Everyone’s situation is unique and depends on the severity of your injury, if you have other medical conditions, whether you have a partner or not and what your relationship was like prior to the injury. Partners may notice a change in their own feelings as well.

Here are a few examples of some common questions raised by survivors and/or their partners and families.

Join support groups, find ways to help others, volunteer, join a hobby or interest group or take a course. Attend a service club or church. The bottom line is, you need to get out of the house to meet people.

Get ideas from family and friends

I notice that I sometimes say things that upset people

We all have thoughts in our head that we don’t share with people around us. For example, if we see an attractive person walking down the street we don’t say, “I like your butt”. For some persons with a brain injury keeping these thoughts private is difficult.

Getting feedback from others and being aware that you have trouble with this is the first step

You will have to work hard to watch what you say. A psychologist or occupational therapist can help you find ways to do this.

I find it difficult to feel sexual towards my partner when I am more of a parent to him/her during the day

Your partner may take on more of a care giving role after your brain injury. It can be time consuming, physically tiring and emotionally draining.

Your partner may feel differently towards you emotionally

Having the help of a paid caregiver helps your partner focus on your relationship

Find simple ways to work on your relationship: Go on a weekly date, set aside an hour each day to focus on intimacy

If you need more help, consider counselling. A good therapist can help clarify concerns and increase communication between you and your partner

Our daughter sustained a brain injury two years ago and is now living in a group home. She constantly makes sexual comments to men she meets. This is so unlike her.

In some cases after a brain injury, the person’s understanding of appropriate sexual behaviour can be affected. This can be very confusing and upsetting for the family.

Giving constructive feedback to the person may help

If the behaviour continues, you can try education, counselling, setting boundaries and medical help.

Where can I find more information?

In your journey to sexual rediscovery it can be helpful to understand that life behaviours of a sexually healthy person include:

Appreciating one’s own body

Affirming one’s own sexual orientation and respecting others

Making informed choices

Identifying and living according to one’s values

Taking responsibility for one’s own behaviours

Enjoying and expressing one’s sexuality throughout life (Adapted from the Sexuality Information and Education Council of US)

Other resources:

Patient/Family Information on Sexuality from StrokEngine addresses common fears and concerns regarding sex and intimacy, when to re-start sexual activity, special physical challenges and sexual positions, among other topics