i might be changing my tune

I think I’m mellowing out a little bit. I volunteer with the University of Buffalo Alumni association and work at college fairs around NYC. Basically I show up, man a booth and talk about how great UB is, and why they should go there. I worked a fair this past Saturday with another alumnus who was really, really, REALLY neurotic. She kept talking about how her boyfriend had broken up with her and she was a single 27 year old, and he told her she wasn’t ‘the one’, and why wasn’t she the one?, and she works with children and how that only reminds her that she wants one…yada….yada… y..a..d..a She told me how she was super depressed, and didn’t she hide it so well? (she was serious, not being sarcastic). And I replied, oh yeah, you hide it well! (uh, no she didn’t).

It’s really made me realize that even though sometimes I feel like everyone is getting married, I am so glad I’m not waiting around for someone else to fulfill me. Here she was, intelligent, successful, attractive, well spoken, kind and compassionate – and she was so unbelievably needy that it was the ONLY thing I could notice about her. She was waiting around for a man to complete her life. She remarked about how she knew people in her mid-30’s that were single, and how it was such a horrible idea to her. And all I could think was two things: 1) if you’re happy with who you are and you fulfill your own needs, why is it tantamount to a social death sentence to be a single 30-something? and 2) if you don’t meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you don’t meet that person…. until you meet them. Are you supposed to marry the first person that comes along, or settle because you feel like you’re in your late 20’s and you should be getting married like everyone else?

It boggles my mind.

You never hear men moaning about how all their mates are getting married, and why haven’t they found THE ONE? (okay, i’m sure there are some men that fit into that category, but come on!) Just because I’m a female I’m supposed to be looking for “my better half”?

Why can’t we just be content in ourselves, be wholein ourselves until we find someone who matches us in that way?