[ NB. this topic is for new RHYMING FANTASY POETRY ONLY. please see below for more details about the new rhymes i want to encourage here...]~~~~~A big man from a gloomy north landdid come fourth with a sword in his handhe would have come thirdbut he slipped on a turdand now cows in the stadium are banned! ----The swamp creatures in southern Cimmeriaare all bigger and meaner and hairierthe Aquilonian spiesclaim they kill with blue eyesdid the invaders all die of malaria?----A Stygian wizard of notetried summoning armed with a goatthe demon called by chancekissed the goat in a merry dancethen cut the wizard's flesh into a coat! ----An ambitious young giant from the northwith broadsword in hand did come forthhe searched far for treasurebut just found buxom pleasureon a mountain he bellowed his wrath.----An exotic young lady named Isiswas having a bit of a crisiswhile giving a spankshe had broken her Ankhso was having to put up her prices. ~~~~~[ 5 new Limmericks for all Conan fans by me ]well, hope you found 'em entertaining?

please post your NEW HYBORIAN /CONAN or other FANTASY-themed limmericks /poems in this thread. fun or serious new RHYMING fantasy poems are all welcome here.[the poems of REHoward can be found in their own topics in the other forums here]

YOUR own new fantasy RHYMES about HYBORIA, or other swords & sorcery style FANTASY lands or themes , or about REH, or any of his other fantasy characters [ like Kull, Sol-Kane] are what i want to encourage in here.

>[NB. i only want RHYMING FANTASY POEMS posted in this thread please.personally, i prefer to read rhyming poetry. if any members wish to share their NON-rhyming prose or verses? then please post them in our SWORDS & WORDS topic [ see below ]

PLEASE DO NOT post any NON-FANTASY rhymes in here. thankyou.[ if you are not sure? then please PM me with an example of your rhyme for my advice]

>[ LINKS to our other POETRY topics:PLEASE post any NON-FANTASY poems in the topic Link below...

>> TO ALL Members [ and amused lurkers ]this is the easiest and friendliest place to post yournew fantasy rhyming poems [ Hyborian, Howardian, Lovecraftian, and other fantasy types/genres are all welcome in here ]

if you are not sure about your poem's suitability/quality then send it to me in a PM.i will try to help with some good confidential advice.then hopefully you can post your first poem in here with confidence?

Practice will make you a better poet.Positive Feedback replies will make you very proud and satisfied, and encourage you to write and experiment with more rhymes.

Start with just a simple Limerick, or a simple 4 line verse ?You won't know how much fun it can be until you try ?

Best wishes to you all.

----

>> We now have hundreds of good new fantasy poems/rhymes in here.from simple limericks - to serious long ballads/epics with lots of verses.And the quality of the poems generally gets better and better as this topic develops.This is a fabulous feast of free fantasy poetry. Enjoy.----

~~~~~'i hope you find a bit of timeto write a funny little rhyme?'~~~~~So bring on your new RHYMING battle-criesof swords and sorcery and monstrous lies.of cities and ruins with a haunting stenchand the bawdy charms of a buxom wench.~~~~~

~~~~~
We bid you warm Welcome to CONAN.COM
the official virtual HYBORIAN Kingdom.
Temple of MITRA, SET and CROM.
centre of CONAN and R.E.HOWARD fandom.

So rest your sword arm and quaff Amra beer,
relax and enjoy all the treasures in here.
join in the fun and make your views clear,
let's all toast Conan with a rousing great cheer!

We all come together from all over the world
to parley and joust with our pennants unfurled.
many tales and rhymes of adventure abound,
the champions of Sword and Sorcery you have found.
~~~~~
[ poem by Buxom Sorceress c.2006.]
----
i was hoping to coax some more clever poetic gems out of our creative members with this topic for fun + serious fantasy poetry..
so thanks to u all for your contributions, + getting things off to a fine start.
big kisses from your 'bawdy buxom bard-ess' ***
----
hey KAIL, good limmericks, + thanks for the 'lizzy-emerald' lyrics.
i was lucky enough to meet Phil after a live gig. great charmer. great band.
emerald -the live version- is still 1 of my fave powerful driving instrumental pieces!
..so i'll meet u at moon-henge on the emerald isle..for some 'dancin in the moonlight'..
cheers ***

In days of yore the great god Thor would romp around creation. He'd drink a pint and slay a giant and save the Nordic nation. Or kill a worm to watch it squirm and vainly try to fang him. Or lock up Loki in the pokey and on the noggin bang him.

Once he did bawl through Thrudvang Hall that on a trip he'd wander in a disguise from prying eyes in Midgard way out yonder. So all his slaves , and carles and knaves packed up his goods and gear, "O", and off he strode on bifrost road a perfect Aryan hero.

In Midgard land he joined a band of hardy Viking ruffians, and off they sailed and rowed and bailed among the auks & puffins. When'er they'd reach a foreign beach they stopped to raid and plunder; Each Nordic brute got so much loot their longship near went under.

But tho they rolled in coins of gold they had one joy forsaken. For each raid Thors party made no women could be taken. Each drab and queen fled the scene when Viking sails were sighted. And Thor felt needs for certain deeds that had gone unrequited.

Thors brows were black as they went back to Oslos rocky haven; unto his crew he said, "Beshrew me for a Frankish craven if I don't wrench some tavern wench, or else may Frigga damn her !" Replied one voice, "You have first choice; you've got the biggest hammer !"

Into an inn that crew of sin disbarked upon their landing. Each tavern maid was sore afraid of pirates of such standing. But golden coins warmed up their loins and soon the ale ran free. Thors motley crew poured down the brew and made an all night spree.

Thors glances strayed unto a maid with hair as gold as grain a lisp so shy, a downcast eye, and not a trace of brain; he swept her charms into his arms and to an upstairs bower. He did not cease nor give her ease for six days and an hour !

When he rose up and drained a cup she looked like one near death; her limbs were weak, she could not speak and only gasped for breath." You ought know, before I go , I'M THOR . " and he bade her adieu."YOU'RE THOR !?!"said she"Conthider ME ! - I'm much thorer thir than you !! "

- John Boardman

Edited by PAINBRUSH, 15 October 2005 - 10:10 AM.

" You have a good point there,...put your helmet on & no-one will notice it ."" Look for a long time at what pleases you... and longer still at what pains you "So THIS is civilization ??!??!...... ~ FUTUE EOS SI NON CONCIPERE IOCULARUM ~

By the way?? You know that picture of that woman at the bottom of your posts?? How is she keeping those cups on??

Well, I guess I have to have a go too.

Wandering home from a days battleI strayed into a heard of cattleThe were still, unmoving like stoneI got a feeling, it chilled to the bone

Sit with me, come and join me I sayI'll tell you the things that happened that dayI was scared, shaken, I fledBut instead into the field I was led

Lifeless figues, spirits and gouls were thereWhy me, I asked, it was far from fairThey swung down from the treesAnd in turn, I sunk to my knees

The eyes fire burnt like coalsMy life, I had seen the tollsI walked now, I followed them to the evergladsI saw the battles I had fought, each flash of my blades

The moved, jerked and dancedI had but one life, one chanceImages of lives taken, lives stolen I was fedThey were the ones from hell, the unholy, the undead

They circled me, the time tenthI could not move from them, no power, no strengthWhen a man sees his own ending he questions lifeMaking ones own way, the trail you leave, the strife

I was soon picked back up from my tranceThey slowly took me back to the place of our meeting chanceI still couldn't move, not arms, not legs, I must have been deadThey were kind upon returning me, for they took me right to my bed

I woke to the tower bell, its gloomy chimeI reflected on my life, but did I have much timeI knew not what they asked for, or when they'd come once moreI just hoped next time, they would not come knocking at my door

I think I know what they wanted at lastbut if only I was able to figue it out fastThe tower bell rings no moreBut it will ring when they come to my door

But I've got one last breath untillThey come again at my time of passing they willImages of lives taken, lives stolen I was fedThey were the ones from hell, the unholy, the undead

Some of that used different rhyming type things I think. Haha, was that a bit poo. Sorry if it's not up to your guys standards.

Edited by Mike_The_Barbarian, 16 October 2005 - 01:52 AM.

They are the weak and cowardly who, when the enemy is crashing through the front door, will cower in the back room, counting on better men than themselves to make and keep them free.

Sorry about the double-post, I was editing a mispelling & the page started acting buggy & even disappeared, I didn't realise I posted twice , I deleted one now.

Lizzy were one of the great live bands. I saw them at the Glasgow Apollo long, long ago. My own favourite is Roisin Dubh (Black Rose) --

Thin Lizzy was one of the all time rock greats. Fans might want to check out Southern Rock Allstars Jak Spires (Thunderfoot)of Blackfoot & lately of S.R.A. was a good personal friend of Phils , & besides putting a Phil Lynott song on both of S.R.A.'s first 2 discs (which yours truly did the cover art for both), they did an excellent tribute album also " THE SPIRIT OF THE BLACK ROSE - A TRIBUTE TO PHILIP PARRIS LYNOTT - 2001 (Compilation) " -it might still be available on their website . The best heroes always die young , sad to say Jakson Spires the founding member & main songwriter of Blackfoot (even tho he wasn't 'Blackfoot' indian , he was Cherokee , & Cheyenne or Shawnee ) & S.R.A. - he also died this year, from an aneurism , he was the salt of the earth , a truly nice & good guy . . The line-up for S.R.A. over the years included beside Jak , Pete Geddes from the Leslie West (Mountain) Band, & Rossington-Collins(Surviving Skynyrd members) as well as the Skynyrd tribute band which eventually got back together as the new Skynyrd . Mike Estes from Skynyrd & Driving Sideways . Charlie Hargrett (also from Blackfoot)played with them on occasion . Dave Hlubek the main guitarist/songwriter for Molly Hatchett was a founding member of S.R.A. also & the coolest dude I've ever met . Charles Hart the bass player who worked with & produced some of the best known rock bands ever(Soundgarden, Government Mule etc.) Jay Johnson the baddest guitar-shredder I've heard , whose dad was the 'Mussel-Shoals' Swampers " that Skynyrd sang about & who basically 'created' their early albums & worked with almost 'every' big name in R&B/soul & classic rock . & a bunch of other members like Damon from 'Brother Kane", Scott Mabrey, Jimmy Farrar etc. . Sorry I got way off topic , I loved Lynott/Thin Lizzy & thought you few might like the above .

Edited by PAINBRUSH, 16 October 2005 - 01:58 AM.

" You have a good point there,...put your helmet on & no-one will notice it ."" Look for a long time at what pleases you... and longer still at what pains you "So THIS is civilization ??!??!...... ~ FUTUE EOS SI NON CONCIPERE IOCULARUM ~

I wasn't sure if Thin Lizzy were all that popular on the other side of the Atlantic. Live albums don't always turn out good, but Thin Lizzy - Live And Dangerous is a classic.I checked out that SRA site - I'll have to give a listen to their tribute album. Did you do the cover for that one, too?

Nahh , didn't do that cover , just the first two . Both designs of which were kind of collaborations between Jak Spires & me . S.R.A. live are beyond words, & I rank them up there with Allmans (Dickey Betts almost joined S.R.A. too !), Skynyrd etc. I just noticed neither of those 2 discs are available or pictured on the site . The first cover was for 'crazy again' & it was simply a bluish-steel/chrome looking version of that star-logo with 'S.R.A.' in the middle . The original design was flip-flopped from chrome to gold . Looks okay to me tho I prefer jaks first idea of chrome/silver . He just threw the idea at me & said make a coin , make a badge , no I don't want a badge , make a...............'SHRUBBERYYY' !! haha, just kidding . The cover for the 2nd disc was a high-concept idea for 'Danger-Road' , I did a half-dozen sketches of completely diff. ideas & the 'dashboard-at-night' concept seemed to click . I did a photo-realistic dashboard & windshield view from inside the car , with the face of a clock ghosted/superimposed over the round steering-wheel with a blurred hour & minute hand faintly winding around the clock/wheel . Radio-face L.E.D. of course set to radio "101" ! -In eerie green blurry l.e.d. light . -Eyes faintly ghosted in the black reflection in the rear-view mirror . - In the windshield , a blurred series of traffic signs in the tall grass on the side of the road fading back past the field of view , "caution" "yield" "stop" "dead-end-ahead" !!!!....................................yellow lines in the road ahead fading into a black night-sky with eerily faint blue mountains on the horizon . It was undoubtedly my masterpiece & a labor of love to do a full-color painting for my rock-heroes from all the way back to childhood ! Hatchett , Skynyrd , Radio Tokyo , Blackfoot etc. etc. !!!!

Anyhow Jak had a brilliant idea & the credit goes also to him for the concept that ended up as cover . At least as good an idea as mine , scrap the signs, clock & most of the detail o/the dashboard, enlarge the windshield view & simply show the same dark-eerie nighttime road with yellow lines illuminated by 2 headlights , & the road as it fades into the horizon fades past the ghosted outline mountains & fades into the stars in the sky & turns & condenses into a rattle-snake staring you in the face composed of stars !!!! - 'danger-road' !........& hard as all hell to paint too ! & Then they put the rush on me to finish it in like a week ! & Then when I met the nutso deadline , Jak & Dave & the guys loved it , but some dude on staff w/the website co. attacked the painting & 'tweaked' it , smushing my snake shorter & losing some of the subtlety of the fade-job I tortured over forever to fit "Southern Rock Allstars" & Danger Road" in there ! It wasn't 'too' bad but still felt like a punch . Nothing to do with the band guys whatsoever just the manage. co. & then when I sent a simple form signing copyright licensing/rights over etc. the guy in charge acted paranoid because I wanted to retain simple "reproduction ' rights . Meaning if I ever became a big-shot with my own book , website etc. that I could display my own painting . The management guy attacked my contract & it made no sense anymore , but I have a lawyer friend who picked it apart & I'll have no prob if I ever want to show it , they can't give me back rights that I never specifically signed over to begin with . The band is my heroes , it ain't like I would ever do something stupid like let someone else use it duh !!!! & I got to keep my copyright to that 'first' windshield design also anyhow to use as I please & I registered the idea/painting copyright. None of this has anything to do with Hyboria ! I better shut-up , quit encouraging me hahaha !That was done the old-fashioned way with pencils/paper/airbrush/paint(does anybody do that anymore !?!) -But I've been burning the midnite oil trying to learn some of these computer art programs & doing tons of logos & titles for practice like my name below . I might as well do them for a reason , for fellow barbarians like everyone who posts here , besides I'm out of work on crutches with too much time on my hands tillI get back to work ! I need to stop playing video-games so if any of you members want me to do some kind of spinny logo of your username or something , just email me & I'll knock a million of them out for practice , free of charge (the guys gone nuts...) - as long as I don't get like totally swamped with requests , & if their simple '1' word or very short names , just tell me a typeface you like . I'll email 'em , not post here so I don't get in trouble . (am I gonna regret this ?!?.....haha)I'll probably do 'em a little smaller than mine below . You should see some of the cool Conan ones I've done (ain't messing around with copyright stuff so don't ask unless yer C.P.I.) I really better stop going off topic . I get caught up in the moment & forget where I'm posting sometimes , sorry .

" You have a good point there,...put your helmet on & no-one will notice it ."" Look for a long time at what pleases you... and longer still at what pains you "So THIS is civilization ??!??!...... ~ FUTUE EOS SI NON CONCIPERE IOCULARUM ~

Okay I usually only write 'sappy love' poetry or 'got my heart stomped on' poetry (and not for several years, I might add) so this will be a wild first attempt at a new genre:

Into a tavern murky and dreary strode a saturnine slayer who was weary,
he'd slain many a foe with dirk, sword, and bow, and of dark cowled patrons was leery.

He placed a good wall to his back with no sturdy beams o'r head to impede his axe, and slammed his fist on the board and called for ale whilst emptying the coins from his sack.

The tavern wench came speedly and eyed his figure and wealth just as greedly. She was lithe and frail but spilled not a drop of ale, whilst she adroitly ignored others' fumbling hands and wheedling.

His eye caught her long golden braids, her sapphire eyes not covered in kohl like the rest of the maids. he noticed the swell of her bodice which was laced tight and quite modest, as well as the shape of her limbs which gave her the figure of a temple goddess.

His interest rose as he envisioned her sans clothes and he contemplated some witty prose, to get her to join him. But he didn't speak his thoughts but instead quaffed the tankard she had brought, and told her to bring another and the trencher of beef that he now sought, on a whim.

She returned with the ale and meat. He barked,"Here! have a seat," and with one brawny arm swept her off her tiny feet.
He snatched up the girl and placed her on his knee, this provoked the ire of not just one rival admirer, but three.

She gasped and tried to regain her breath, her eyes glaring looks of death at the man's impetuous grasp and she writhed to be free of his clasp. He leaned in near and whispered in her ear, too low for others to hear. Soon her protestations hushed and a scarlet colored her face as she blushed. She playfully resisted his lips and swivelled her hips, making it much harder, for the man to control his rising ardor.

The men in the bar glared for he had brazenly taken what they had not dared. The man never acknowledged the stares as he didn't care. The bartender nervously wiped his earthenwares.

A tawny gunderman had seen enough. He rose to his feet and rolled up his sleeve to deliver a mighty cuff, but the man toed a stool and with a powerful thrust slid it into the fool and the gunderman's breath fled him in a puff. The maids cackled with glee at the red faced gundermen and the warrior with a girl on his knee as they were proving merry entertainment to see.

The gunderman regained his feet with a roar, and began to draw his sword.
Chaos ensued and speedily the panic imbued sought to gain further ground than reach of the feud. The befuddled and sodden were heedlessly trodden. The tables and chairs and mugs and croc-wares were upended or spilled on the floor by those scared. The patrons of the once quiet den quickly recoiled from the three dangerous men.

The other murderous two, a pair from distant Shem, with eyes set on the maid their kidnapping plans gone askew, lamp light glinting off blades they drew, advanced on the still seated man in the mayhem.

The gunderman arrived first and raised for a terrible stroke as he cursed. The man reached around the wench grasping his sword, and standing sended crashing the beef, ale, girl, and hoard, whilst he used the upended board to intecept the swiftly descending sword. His blade rasped free too quickly to see, and the gunderman fell cleft through one of his knees. crouched the man uncoiled and the hook nosed mens' strategy was foiled. Too close together they never realized the mistake they had made, he felled both curly bearded men of Shem. their heads rolled from where they laid, as a single stroke had parted them.

All fled for the door, the thieves, the drunks and whores, the maid her rump was sore where she had been flung to the floor. The man stood and gaped at the patrons as they escaped. A quiet resumed over the room, while the man stood and fumed, at his spilled ale and coins and his overturned plate of joints.

He spied the gunderman his face waxy and wan,
clutching his amputated limb, his expression malevolent and grim. Then with a final cursing shout the gunderman bled out, and lifeless eyes glared at the man.

No girl for his bed, because the bar maid had fled, no one else remained in the tavern but he and the dead. "Crom take you all!" the man was heard to squall. He gathered his coins, resheathed his sword about his loins and proceeded to seek his horse's stall.

P.S. I am not aware any rules of poetry so I probably have broken all of them.

Edited by grim cimmerian, 18 October 2005 - 09:56 PM.

"WOE UNTO MY FOEMEN, PITY THEIR WIDOWS AND KIN."All flatlanders are soft and frail, I enjoy those qualities in their women. "By CROM if you so much as touch your hilt I'll split you from crown to crotch and see if your guts are as yellow as I think they are!"

"WOE UNTO MY FOEMEN, PITY THEIR WIDOWS AND KIN."All flatlanders are soft and frail, I enjoy those qualities in their women. "By CROM if you so much as touch your hilt I'll split you from crown to crotch and see if your guts are as yellow as I think they are!"

..By the way? You know that picture of that woman at the bottom of your posts? How is she keeping those cups on?

the 'sacred golden breast-cups of Isis' are ancient artefacts with their own magical powers. [ or, for the unbelievers, it could all be done by using nipple rings + small magnets.. u decide? ] ----+ my thanks to u ALL for the entertaining + clever verses posted so far.remember, this is the place to practice your fantasy poetry + entertain many fans with your talents. u dont know how much fun + satisfying it can be till u try?

i am also enjoying the new 'longer extended-story type poems' from members like..MIKE THE BARBARIAN + GRIM CIMMERIAN. impressive work.many thanks for all your hard work. more please?

'a rhyming kiss from a buxom Miss feels like bliss' *** [i'm working on various poems which i'll post here eventually..]

** 'The Lords of Light' **
-
' The Lords of Light to the rescue - ride
flame-blue lances pierce demon hide.
-
the Pegasus riders swoop down from above
reclaiming the land for faith and love.
-
minions of darkness now fear and shiver
they are swept back into the stygian river.
-
Great bolts of light tear the demons asunder
as the horde is driven - gurgling under.
-
so when in dire need of great help and luck
just say your prayers and make sure you duck !'
- - -
( short poem by Buxom Princess /Sorceress- c.2003 )

..By the way?? You know that picture of that woman at the bottom of your posts?? How is she keeping those cups on??

the 'sacred golden breast-cups of Isis' are ancient artefacts with their own magical powers. [ or, for the unbelievers, it could all be done by using nipple rings + small magnets.. u decide? ]

I was thinking saliva was holding them on like the playing card on the forehead trick. I know I at least start drooling when I see them so it would be in ample supply.

"WOE UNTO MY FOEMEN, PITY THEIR WIDOWS AND KIN."All flatlanders are soft and frail, I enjoy those qualities in their women. "By CROM if you so much as touch your hilt I'll split you from crown to crotch and see if your guts are as yellow as I think they are!"

" You have a good point there,...put your helmet on & no-one will notice it ."" Look for a long time at what pleases you... and longer still at what pains you "So THIS is civilization ??!??!...... ~ FUTUE EOS SI NON CONCIPERE IOCULARUM ~

why thank u kindly good sir. u have fine taste.if there ever is a 'collection book'.. ofcourse i would invite u to write the foreward, + to design a suitably bawdy 'swordy + buxom' style logo for the cover?

i want every hyborian to have a good chuckle at our levity in brevity? ----hey KAIL, great work! we make a good team of cheeky wordy pranksters.rock on!cheers to u all ***

To bask in the warmth of your shapely shadow is reward indeed for your humble servant. Temptation lurks in magic eyes, And knowing words that scandalise, And magic orbs that mesmerise, And magic thighs that tantalise.

the bouncing buxom Sorceress did blushKail the Bard got her cheeks to glow and flushwith wind and lightning in her hairthey reached nirvana on 'Crom's chair'on that mountain top they had their greatest rush! ----[ in honour of the great strong warrior-Bard with a truly magical tongue ]very satisfied kisses from your mountain mate ***

[/quote]the 'sacred golden breast-cups of Isis' are ancient artefacts with their own magical powers. [ or, for the unbelievers, it could all be done by using nipple rings + small magnets.. u decide? ]

[/quote]I was thinking saliva was holding them on like the playing card on the forehead trick. I know I at least start drooling when I see them so it would be in ample supply.

[/quote]a big grim Cimmerian did droolat bouncing cups by the cool temple poolhe ran out of salivawatching Lady Godivaride her horse through the Young Priestess School.----

[/quote]

[quote name='Kail' date=' or The Beekan,Oct 20 2005, 10:29 PM']While extolling the delights of low gravity,On two globes sloping round to a cavity,Helping out with the fit,With a gift of some spit,grim cimmerian showed some signs of depravity.

[/quote]the bouncing buxom Sorceress did blushKail the Bard got her cheeks to glow and flushwith wind and lightning in her hairthey reached nirvana on 'Crom's chair'on that mountain top they had their greatest rush! ----[ in honour of the great strong warrior-Bard with a truly magical tongue ]very satisfied kisses from your mountain mate ***

[/quote]that is the greatest, funniest, wittiest stuff I have ever heard! thanks Kail and Bux!

"WOE UNTO MY FOEMEN, PITY THEIR WIDOWS AND KIN."All flatlanders are soft and frail, I enjoy those qualities in their women. "By CROM if you so much as touch your hilt I'll split you from crown to crotch and see if your guts are as yellow as I think they are!"

..that is the greatest, funniest, wittiest stuff I have ever heard! thanks Kail and Bux!

gee thanks, my big grim drooling friendmay your salivating never endthere is magic in the airon top of 'Crom's chair'as into each other our bodies do blend. ----my sincere thanks for your wonderful praise for our 'creative entertainment'.knowing that fellow fans are enjoying it is all the reward and encouragement i need.there is much more fun /poetry to come..