She was sectioned for her own safety under the Mental Health Act. Her brief and terrifying stay in an adolescent psychiatric ward stiffened her resolve never to do anything that would result in a return visit.

Writing in her book Cheer Up Love, she said: “I was terrified. No doors on the toilets or showers, being watched 24 hours a day.”

Twitter

The Scottish comedian jokes that she still 'smiles with a degree of cynicism' just like this childhood photo

The Picture Library Ltd

Susan Colman and wife Lee, who has been front row at all of her Strictly performances

But a large dose of Strictly has been the perfect antidote for Susan.

She said: “The joy I am getting from performing on a Saturday night. It is helping my mood and how I feel about things.”

But the dark fog can strike at any time. Winston Churchill called his depression his “black dog”. Susan calls hers the “Crab of Hate”.

She said: “Out of the blue, the Crab climbs up my back, pinches both of my earlobes and whispers gently to me things I don’t want to hear: ‘No one likes you. No one would miss you if you weren’t here. Why do you even bother? Everyone laughs at you when you leave the room. You’re useless. And you smell.’

Rex Features

Susan Calman is a famous for her work on TV and radio panel shows

Getty - Contributor

Susan Calman is a regular guest on BBC Radio 4 and has hosted Woman's House and Listomania

“I’ve told my wife about him — and it is a him — and all I need to say to her is that the Crab’s about and she knows what I’m going through.”
Her loyal other half Lee Cormack, 46, has been sitting in the front row for all Susan’s Strictly performances.

When the pocket rocket performed her Wonder Woman samba, Lee was front and centre wearing a matching superhero crown.

Susan met Lee, a local authority lawyer, 15 years ago. They became civil partners in 2012 and married three years later.

Susan Calman has revealed she once tried to take her own life

The comedian has consistently impressed viewers on Strictly

Susan said: “They were two of the happiest days of my life. And, yes, being married does make a difference. I don’t like it when people say it’s just a bit of paper. Not to me it isn’t. And anyway, it’s something gay people fought for over many years.”

They now live together in Glasgow with their five cats. First there is the conventionally named Pickle.

Then Daisy Fay Harper — named after the protagonist in a 1981 coming of age novel; Olivia Pope — a character from the US TV drama Scandal; Dr Abigail Bartlet — the First Lady in US drama The West Wing; and DCI Jane Tennison, the cop played by Helen Mirren in Prime Suspect.

Susan faced criticism for taking part in Strictly because it does not feature same-sex dancing couples. But she fought back, adding: “There’s nothing more powerful than having an openly gay woman on the biggest show on TV, whose wife is on the front row, doing what she wants to do.”

Susan Calman said speaking about her depression may help connect her to the public

A Strictly superfan, Susan was moved to tears at the launch when she was paired with pro dancer Kevin Clifton.

“I feel like I’ve won the lottery,” she gushed, admitting that she even has a picture of Grimsby’s finest stuck on her fridge. Yet her childhood couldn’t have been further away from the glitz of the ballroom.

She said: “We weren’t a family of performers — my father is a doctor. If I’d said to them I wanted to be a comedian, it would have been tantamount to saying I wanted to be a prostitute.”

The daughter of Sir Kenneth Calman, chancellor of Glasgow University and former chief medical officer for England and Scotland, and Lady Anne, Susan had a charmed upbringing with private education.

PA:Press Association

Susan Calman said she would sit in her room 'punishing herself' on her lowest days

The 42-year-old comedian is partnered with professional dancer Kevin Clifton

But it was in her formative years she discovered she had something special that would come to define her life — she could make people laugh.

“My teenage years weren’t the happiest times,” she admits.

“I wanted to be quite different from the other kids who wanted to get married, while part of my soul was burning to get on stage. But I didn’t have the confidence.

“I’m the short, slightly overweight lass who was a bit bullied at school and who made everybody laugh. Now I do the same thing on stage. I always wanted to perform.

Getty - Contributor

Susan Calman faced criticism for taking part in Strictly because it does not feature same-sex couples

“I thought if I could get attention in that way, people would like me more. It’s only since doing stand-up that my confidence has increased.”

Susan was also aware of her sexuality at an early age. When she won the role of Virgin Mary in her junior school’s nativity, she burst into tears. She told her mother that she couldn’t possibly play Mary, “because it would mean kissing a boy”.

She revealed: “I’ve always known I was gay. I went out with a couple of men when I was 17 to check.

Things have changed since I was growing up but I’ve never had a problem.” Although she did once say that growing up gay in Glasgow “was as easy as being a vegan abattoir worker.”

Rex Features

The Strictly star says she was aware of her sexuality from a very young age

Susan studied law at Glasgow University and took part in a three-month stint in North Carolina working with criminals on death row.

After returning to the UK she moved up the career ladder, spending seven years in commercial law.

She was on her way to becoming a partner at a Scottish firm, when in 2006 she quit to carve out a new career as a stand-up.

She said: “I’m not good at handling change so it was quite brave. I’d never been to a comedy club when I did my first gig.”In her first year on the stand-up circuit she earned just £250. That rose to £400 the next year, and £1,000 the one after that.

Rex Features

In Susan's autobiography 'Cheer Up Love', reveals she was once sectioned under the Mental Health Act

“I slept on the floor of my friend Michelle if ever I performed in London,” she recalled.

“I’d catch the £1 Megatrain from Glasgow to Manchester. I’d hunker down in bus stations. I’ve played to two people in a gym hall.”

Soon radio beckoned and Susan became a regular guest on Radio 4 panel shows including The News Quiz and The Now Show. She has also appeared as a panellist on TV shows Have I Got News For You, Mock The Week and QI.

Parents of young kids will also know her from CBBC shows The Dog Ate My Homework and Top Class.

The Scottish comedian has quickly become a fan favourite

But Strictly has turned her into a household name On Saturday night it looked like her dancing dreams might be over when she found herself joint bottom of the leader board, scoring just 16 points with her cha cha cha to Little Mix.

But she was saved by the public, swerving the dance off and making it through to this weekend’s Halloween special.

Susan said: “Being part of the show feels amazing and every day I appreciate what’s happening. If I could say anything to my 16-year-old self it would be, ‘Don’t worry, one day you’re going to be on Strictly.’”

Contact Samaritans free on 116 123, even from a mobile with no credit. The number won’t show on your bill. Or email jo@samaritans.org or see samaritans.org.

Susan Calman and Kevin Clifton dance the Samba to a Wonderwoman theme on Strictly Come Dancing

MOST READ IN TV & SHOWBIZ

TELLY BREAK-AWAY

Ant's wife Lisa axed from Saturday Night Takeaway job over divorce

look of love?

Cheryl and Liam Payne put on a united front at Brits amid relationship crisis

TMI CHERYL

Cheryl and Liam put on united front at Brits with rude joke despite love crisis