It feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest - am I being dramatic? I know I'm not shy girl anymore but I am also sure that I can't carry on...

Although I've run out of tears. I didn't know that was even possible.

Of course, I wouldn't have said a giant green dragon coming to steal me away from my home was possible either & yet that happened all the same.

Why?

I've asked this before and I still don't have any answers. The people at this, this Weyr insist it is important. Vital even if you can believe it? I don't. I can't accept what they are saying is the whole and complete truth. Especially as everything else...

No, I don't trust them.

Yet...

I had a dream last night or perhaps a memory would be more accurate. I was sat with my sister and we were listening to a Harper, it was an old story and it mentioned Thread - horrifying, destructive and the only defence available in the form to of the dragons and their riders. I remembered it vividly this morning - all day actually and it meant I got punished for not paying proper attention to the chores I was assigned.

Am I wrong? Is there some good in these people? I know my mother would have once said no one is ever wholly evil or bad but she never had to deal with a situation like this one.

I've realised I don't know what to do...

« Last Edit: 27 Oct 2016 at 02:50 PM by Kahleena »

Logged

Okalinath speaks loudly; Unless specified otherwise, your character can hear her if you want.

Even writing it down doesn't make it seem more real, more true but it is. One of them is another who was taken away from her home as well. She seems quieter than me but also more accepting of the whole business as well. Even if I'm not...

Who cares? hmm?

All I really know is that I'm able to forget, able to find myself happy again. It is a small thing; really it is. Even if I'm not sure that it even makes sense. I feel guilty at times but I won't forget how kind she has been to me or how much fun I end up having when its the three of us.

Although...

How I ended up calling a rider a friend is beyond me!

I was so angry! I still am really. But now I'm trying to understand a little more and be a little more accepting about everything that has happened. It was wrong to be so upset with everyone - although I'll never be happy about being taken in the first place. However, being able to forget and be a little wild and mischievous is a boon I never expected.

I've so much to be thankful for in terms of my good fortune to find friends like this.

After all, I'm no longer alone in my head anymore...if I'm honest that is the most wonderfully frightening thing that has happened to me since I've come here. I'd given up believing I'd Impress any of these dragons and then suddenly there was the voice in my head.

Okalinath that is her name and she is amazing.

Still, I want to share this with Rhaedalyn and I can't. I went to speak with her this morning and she blanked me for a solid minute before saying she was busy and to come back later. I think...

I want things to be the same but perhaps Okalinath changes it all. Do I want that?

It's taken me so long to finally come to an understanding and accept some kind of place here at Katila and I'm afraid of what all of this is going to mean for me and those I care most about. At least I can hope that Rhaedalyn will come around - right?

Happily Plotting For

6 Years 10 Month and 13 Days

M18+ Warning

Untitled Document

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V'zire: You should be learning from a Harper, not me! *blushes at D'hys* :c O-oh, R'nd! I'm so sorry. I-I'd never mean to neglect you! If y-you'd like, you can come over tonight and we can catch up <3?04 Nov 2012 at 04:42 PM

R'nd: *likes V'zire around D'hys even less* V'zire, you should come hang out with me some more. You're neglecting a friend :( :(04 Nov 2012 at 03:09 PM

R'nd: *thinks D'hys and Indivara is an unholy union in the making*04 Nov 2012 at 03:08 PM

B'jin: *shrinks against R'nd and away from D'ren*17 Sep 2012 at 12:35 AM

D'ren: This is unbelievable. You should all be ASHAMED. Don't you know what is and is not appropriate for mixed company?17 Sep 2012 at 12:35 AM

R'nd: *kisses B'jin's forehead and wraps an arm around his waist to hold close* Thanks for defending me but with those guys, it's usually a wasted effort. They can twist anything to their amusement.17 Sep 2012 at 12:34 AM

Sanderon: Lym needs a healer and Sand needs a straightjacket. Feel free to join us in the 'Pacing the Cage' thread, anyone who is interested.26 Aug 2012 at 08:50 PM

Lymsleia: Ramling is ok26 Aug 2012 at 07:38 PM

Z: I seem to be rambling today.26 Aug 2012 at 07:17 PM

Z: Except for maybe Talian, the others may not be able to tell...yet.26 Aug 2012 at 02:38 PM

Z: Each person that Sanderon just tagged might see a hint of his mental/emotional state. Talian's hint is a little more straight forward. In the timing of things, he sees your characters in this order, Talian, Jada, Apari, Lym.26 Aug 2012 at 02:37 PM

Jada: "And if you pull out a knife, or open your mouth again in one of your great speeches, I will drag you away by your ear for Krypth to, and don't think I don't want the excuse to get away from this debacle!"17 Aug 2012 at 06:25 PM

Z: She has a good heart.17 Aug 2012 at 05:58 PM

Z: Lymsleia is awesome. :)17 Aug 2012 at 05:39 PM

Sanderon: Being a distraction to N'gelt right now Lymsleia is only prolonging my agony. Thanks but knock it off. I want to get this over with as quickly as possible.17 Aug 2012 at 05:03 PM

Jada: Lym, your idiotic attempt to bring people together will do it- bring them into thinking you a fool. Us versus them is only made more obvious when you speak against treating the Northerners the same as the Katilans.17 Aug 2012 at 04:59 PM

Featherpirate: Baha you don't NEED your chars to be lashed you silly :P Though it is fun.16 Aug 2012 at 12:44 AM

Sexilicious: Jada could be lashed. But I don't know what she could do to get in trouble... and Far doesn't want to run away. Maybe E'kan kidnaps some pretty lady from up North... ;;;;16 Aug 2012 at 12:06 AM