4. Alice's Fear

“Edward calm down, Bella is going to be fine,” Carlisle said, while trying to control his thoughts in an attempt to make me rational and placate. I paced back and forth, trying to distract myself as I watched my feet fly ruthlessly fast beneath me.

I know how to make him understand, I could simply tell him that Bella merely doesn’t have a migraine because I can hear her thoughts. But as soon as I dragged Bella into the hospital, and insisted that Carlisle drop everything he was doing to see her, I couldn’t get the words out. It wasn’t selfishness. I truly wanted to tell Carlisle so he could help her within his greatest ability, instead of thinking I was overreacting and letting my “emotional attachment” take away my usual sense of reason.

I gritted my teeth. If I told Carlisle, would he take me seriously? Would he truly think that this was a bigger deal, if I could hear her thoughts?

“Carlisle,” I faced him trying to keep my face clean of emotions. His face immediately tensed and he, unoriginally enough, started to chant the ABC’s in his head to hold back his thoughts from me. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger, as annoyance crept and over took the conversation. “Shut. Up. Please.” I said tensely, trying to drown out the repetitive song that would surely be stuck in my head forever.

I took a deep breath, and let my mouth fly, telling him everything that I had been avoiding, with an intensity that had my voice barely louder then a whisper. When I finally finished I allowed my exasperation to sink, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I slowly leaned against the farther wall, concentrating past Carlisle’s bewildered thoughts to focus on the room beyond him. I intensified my focus and felt an immediate release as I heard Bella’s perfect heart beating, her breathing rhythmic with each pump.

Carlisle widen his eyes and the song faded replaced with his confused swirling thoughts, he immediately realized that he let his thoughts run away without his permission and began to repeat the ABC’s this time in French. I growled.

We looked at each other in silence. My emotions bubbling past my breaking composure as I listened to the rounds of the alphabet, repeated over and over again. By the fifth round I knew I would surely break. So I did what anyone would do in my desperate situation. I grabbed my father by the lapels of his shirt and slammed him against the opposite wall. I immediately regretted my rash overreaction, but he really pushed my last nerve.

I took in a calming breath and let go of his shirt.

“Edward” Carlisle said seemingly un-phased from my improper childish behavior. “Bella is fine.” he said rather rushed, as if he were trying to convince himself. I cursed, quite loudly. I tried to contain my reaction that was more physical and hardly more appropriate than my rash decision to throw Carlisle through the plaster of the wall.

“She just fainted. I can suddenly hear her thoughts, and she abruptly is having intense painful headaches. That’s the opposite of fine.” I all but spit the words at him, as I tried to control my emotions playing across my every nerve, and breaking patience.

Carlisle furrowed his brow, and he forgot himself, as he let his thoughts circle and click throughout his head, churning and working hard to explain this unexplainable situation.

He opened his mouth vaguely, almost unaware of his involuntary reaction. My head spun in suspense.

“Okay, Edward.” Carlisle said passionately his eyes glinting with fever as he finally took the situation seriously. “Ill see what I can do, I guess we’ll give Bella a cat-scan after all. I suggest you call Alice and make sure Bella will be fine. If not we’ll have to change her… immediately.” Before I could answer Carlisle was rushing down the hall as fast as he could get away with, in a human populated area.

I widen my eyes immediately regretting my decision to tell Carlisle. Maybe he was overreacting, I mean we don’t have to go and kill Bella just because I can suddenly hear her thoughts. I can hear everyone’s thoughts! This was inevitable; surely I would be able to hear her eventually. Maybe this isn’t a big deal after all, I mean literally, Bella’s not going to die because of a headache.

Was I in Denial? I thought dazed.

I pulled out my cell phone quickly dialing Alice’s number and pressing the tiny device solidly against my ear. No one answered and after three drainingly long rings the phone cut-off, going directly to voice-mail. Alice’s chipper voice seemed to mock me as it rang throughout my head.

Hi! This is Alice! But of course you know that considering your calling my personal cell phone. Well obviously, I’m not coming to the phone right now, because… well most likely I’m screening you! I’m characteristically good, at answering my phone. In fact if you’re listening to this, in all probable circumstances: 1. I lost my phone, (highly unlikely) 2. I don’t want to talk to you, because you’re annoying or just generally not a nice person, 3. You’re telling me for the millionth time that I’m going overboard on the wedding, which I’m not Edward! But anyways leave me a message and I’ll get back to you, well most likely. Byeeeeee.

I ground my teeth together before I crushed my phone in my palm, allowing the broken fragments to scatter and litter the surrounding floor.

I looked up just in time to see a very startled nurse passing by me, her thoughts to shocked to even try to comprehend. She tried to quickly pass by me without calling to much attention to herself.

Then I heard it, a stutter. I had kept in the back of my head, the only thing that was actually allowing me to remain sane. Bella’s heartbeat picked-up, barely noticeably but enough to call my attention to rush to her side.

I pulled my eyebrows together just as her eyelids fluttered, exposing her beautiful depthless eyes. “Hey,” she smiled.

Relief fluttered over me as I examined her expression, determining that she was actually smiling and not trying to placate me. “Hey,” I whispered brushing my fingers over her cheek and leaning down to catch her in a quick kiss. Her heartbeat stuttered and slowed, only to pick up twice as fast. I pulled back to kiss her forehead lingering there, hoping that my kiss would somehow soothe her.

mmm he smells so good.

I leaned back surprised at this un-expectant turn in the non-existent conversation. Bella’s thoughts spun, I found myself completely drawn to her, concentrating as hard as I dared to delve deeper. She was very reserved, and her thoughts were far more perceptive then most. She seemed to over-think everything she was doing. She was highly aware of me, almost as much as I was of her. A part of her was vibrating with response to every move I made. She would readjust trying to bring me closer, or even to pull herself back, scared that I was too uncomfortable around her scent. She wanted to know what I was thinking; she didn’t want me to be scared for her. Her eyes pulled together as her thoughts pulled her towards Charlie and other nonessentials, like what time it was? If we’d be able to go soon? Would she be able to catch Alice today?

I quickly smoothed my face, realizing with her questioning eyes that I’d have to explain my momentary absence. I quickly concentrated listening to hear Carlisle or another excuse to justify my dearth. Suddenly the perfect defense entered my head, and a relief flooded through me as I heard a familiar step dancing and echoing across the halls. Just then the heal of the step, hesitated just outside our door to stare questioning at the mess of electronic wreckage and wires that was my cell phone, that littered the floor. I smiled turning just in time to catch the door knob spin. Alice stepped through it.

I thought for sure that as soon as I talked to her, that she’d reassure me and tell me everything was going to be fine. Somehow explaining that Bella was perfectly healthy and there was nothing to fear.

But that tiny hope vanished as I took in Alice’s face. Her usual annoyingly happy smile was turned down; a haggard look replaced her usual cheery expression, and her golden eyes were alight with unknown and fear.