Do You Live Longer If You Are Married?

According to a recent study, published in The Journal of Clinical Oncology, cancer patients who are married live longer than single people who have the disease. The finding suggests that maintaining chemotherapy and radiation schedules and taking prescribed medication is easier for people who have help from a spouse compared with single people who must manage the logistics of cancer treatment on their own.

When you have a spouse who is present when the patient is diagnosed, they are an invested party and they are going to more than likely make sure the patient goes to the doctor, that they get the necessary treatments,’’ said Dr. Ayal A. Aizer, chief resident of the Harvard Radiation Oncology Program and the study’s first author. “We don’t think there’s something intrinsic about people who are married, but we do think it’s the support marriage is providing that makes a difference.

While I acknowledge the wonderful support many partners give to their loved ones, this study also leaves me with a feeling of unease. What about those for whom a cancer diagnosis reveals the cracks in a marriage? Those for whom the support is not forthcoming? And where does it leave those who are single? What can you do with a report like this? You can’t change your relationship status to increase your life expectancy.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please do share them in the comments below.

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17 thoughts on “Do You Live Longer If You Are Married?”

What do you do with a report like this? File it in the “studies that mean squat” bin. Studies like this are bogus. There are so many factors involved in relationships. I’m sure if they polled those that were polled and asked them if the marriage was good or bad, there would be a big difference in the outcome of the study.
Support is support. I know plenty of women who have a super good friend and I think that’s just as good.

As you’ve pointed out, this study doesn’t leave us with any actionable information. When I see that, I really wonder about some of the decisions that are being made about what research to conduct. There are so many important questions in the areas of cancer risks, causes and prevention that need to be studied and could produce valuable information.

I’m going to jump on the bandwagon with this one. I had a terrible marriage before cancer, and when cancer hit me, my spouse disconnected with me even more. Being treated when married was worse than being alone for treatments. The study doesn’t address the quality of the marriage relationship. In fact, in my case, being married probably came closer to killing me than anything. I wrote a post about this: http://bethgainer.com/first-comes-breast-cancer-then-comes-divorce/

I totally agree with Beth. She couldn’t have said it better. Being single helped me tremendously as I struggled through a Stage IV diagnosis. I am able to take care of myself at this point and I don’t have to worry about someone who is narcissistic and cares only about himself and his needs. My friends and sons help me far more than my spouse ever did or could. Thanks for letting us vent, Marie.

I don’t think the researchers can make the conclusion that they do. Just because a spouse is present when a patient is diagnosed doesn’t mean the spouse is an “invested party.” And it definitely should not be assumed that the spouse is “more than likely” to “make sure the patient goes to the doctor, that they get the necessary treatments.’’ ???

If anything, this study may simply reveal that those who are married have more family/extended family in their immediate surroundings or at their disposal to tap into. Researchers need to ask specific questions (who takes you to chemo, who goes to the drug store for you, who attends doctor visits with you?) in order to surmise if its the spouse or not.

I also am of the opinion that bad support is *worse* than no support. I have experienced both.

I was and still am surrounded by an amazing group of friends. My children were/are supportive, and I took charge of asking for help as needed. A first for me. Family comes in many forms and I have been blessed by the group of “family” that surrounds me. Consider the source of the reseach, the sample size, and the collection methods of the data.

Many of you know my story found at: http://www.womaninthehat.com/relationships-with-cancer-double-entendre-intended/ The stress in my life from the husband made everything else magnified. On the other hand, he did a lot that supported me in terms of getting me to/from treatment, cooking, shopping, etc. There are too many variables to come up with a statistical analysis. Of course, a good marriage would be the ideal, but I’m certain the being single is preferable in terms of peace than the unease and stress of a bad marriage.

Actually I was thinking something quite similar as I read this article. It is lovely to be in a relationship that is loving and supportive – but firstly, that doesn’t have to derive from a partner, and secondly what is this suppose to tell unmarried women? Hurry up and get that ring? Community, love and being open to help are very good things. However a person gets that support, I reckon it is beneficial.

(Personally, my husband has been a massive motivator for me. He’s the reason I push forward, but also he’s the reason I break down and cry. The idea of leaving him is more stressful than the idea of cancer itself. Crazy or what? I wonder how that plays into the statistic crunching?) ~Catherine

It reminds me of the feeling of helplessness i feel when i read reports that not having a child can increase your risk of breast cancer. I don’t have a partner or a child and I am 42 with breast cancer – guess I am doubly out of luck 😦

I am one of those women for whom a diagnosis of breast cancer showed up the cracks in my marriage. Instead of the support outlined in this report, I got a resentful husband who really couldn’t be there for me emotionally or practically.

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