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Learning to Fly

As I spend most of my Sunday afternoons, today was spent with a little gardening and watching Sir David Attenborough talk about some amazing creatures. This weekend it was birds. Now I am not a bird watcher but there are some amazing facts to be learnt about birds, the way they live or rather survive.

It was actually the last part which really spoke to me. The Hooper Crane in America have been adopted by some bloke, he teaches them how to eat, how to run and take off and he’s got himself something like a microlite and he’s going to lead their migration. I wasn’t sure why but I found tears trickling down my cheeks. Well my period is coming so the hormones are up, but somewhere between watching the man nurture these birds as a father would his children and thinking about how helpless some creatures are, my heart gave in.

Slightly over a month ago I learned that my Dad had cancer, I nearly fainted, and it was quiet something to take in. A big strong man who protected me as a baby, guarded me as a child, been on the end of the phone when ever I needed him, that is my Daddy.
He had worked abroad for years, missed various birthdays and even when he was there he hadn’t always been able to help me. But there were many times that he did take care of me and he will always be my hero.

I had always known he was going to come home at some point, come home and stay home I thought. I knew that I would be at some point leaving England to live in New Zealand. I didn’t know that I was going to lose my Dad before I rightly should do, just as I can be happy to have him home living so close, I have to accept that I am going to have to say goodbye forever sooner than I should.

I know that there are many people out there who lose their parents, in fact the more I talk to people about it they tell me that they also lost parents…but none of them are 26, none of them are the closest hope to producing grandchildren and they are not me.But when watching these birds that hadn’t had any parents, seeing how this man taught them how to eat and then how to take off and will lead them south I realised that although no one can ever take my fathers place there will be other people who will help me along my way. And as I have no control over what is going to happen I will just have to wait and see, give my love and support to him and hope that someone else will be able to give me what I need.