Poor Mason. It’s summertime, she’s got a surplus of zucchini (who doesn’t?) and can’t figure out what to do with it all. So, she takes one that’s long and green and thick, she licks it, she slips it up her … well, she puts it where she shouldn’t ought to have done, not a thing like that with no knob on the end. It’s a quick recipe for a trip to the doctor’s office to have the thing removed.

Embarrassing!

Unfortunately for Mason, her doctor has a thing against, as her doctor puts it, “zucchini-fucking sluts.” Me, I think that’s pretty harsh words for a girl who was just trying to be green by turning a garden surplus into a sex-toy surplus. But, nobody asked me; and in the event, Mason’s doctor prescribed a stern course of corporal punishment, and then proceeded to administer it: