This blog is about fairness; about looking at objects from multiple perspectives. Stable transformation comes only slowly; and only if the environment is free of sporadic jitters of passion and anger that destabilize growth. I strongly believe that the path to peace crosses through the battle with self.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thinking of all Iranian activists who are kidnapped

Thinking of lawyers, doctors; thinking of journalists, students; thinking of poets, of thinkers. thinking of all those whose unforgivable sin is to be intelligent; to learn, to question, to challenge; thinking of the human right activists; women activists, labor activists ... thinking of the horror the regime of Iran has promised to the greens over the upcoming days that Iran holds Iran accountable to the slogans of the revolution. I cannot feel excited about this 22 Bahman; because my sentiments about it have not changed from last year.

I hate revolutions; no matter how romanticized they are. I hate blood; I hate violence; I hate idealism; I hate fascism; I distrust their sustainability. I believe in evolution; in growth; in small steps; and I believe in compromise as long as it is possible, but then break up: divergence of paths and not collision, not pulling nor pushing.

A few days back; there was a very sad letter circulating on internet, by the father of Sorena Hashemi that touched me through this protective foam I am wearing around my heart these days. Sorena is an activist who was arrested in 2008 for exposing a case of sexual harassment committed by someone close to Ahmadinejad! In Iran, the rapists don't get tried; unless they are poor and belong to the disenfranchised, society, in which case they are hanged! In Iran, those who are the victims of rape by big shots are the ones who are imprisoned, intimidated, and suffer retribution! A few weeks ago, Sorena and his co-activist friend Alireze Firouzi went missing! To go "missing" in Iran is rather common! Even the judiciary system, with all its criminality, admits that there are units that operate outside the sphere of the judiciary control. In other words, all three levels of government: the executive; legislative and judiciary branches ADMIT that their abilities to do their job is limited by shadowy supra-legal (i mean above the law here) organizations!

In any case, the letter of Sorena's father, himself a war veteran (a prisoner of war, actually) hints at the militaristic background of these supra-legal shadows: "they are not my comrades; let me assume all my comrades were killed in the war ... let me assume these are aliens ..."

Sorena, my son, there was a time that your little photograph was the companion of my longing eyes, in the back of the trenches. We scraped off the earth from our bodies and went on to protect the country.

You were the most of my country and I had shielded your life with mine; not alone, with thousands. I was not alone …

One day, as bitter as these ones, the barrage of bullets and shells made earth the cradle of hundreds of bravehearts … they passed away, calmly, smiling with the memory their mother, wife, child … and content of receiving the bullet and sparing the blood of another …

I too got my share: a boot drenched in the blood of my face, electric wires in my flesh … I was content to be a war prisoner in exchange for your freedom, for your laughter. I was not alone.

Our identification was anonymity. We were the lost ones; we died one by one of disease, of torture, or under gunfire. There were no signs of our imprisonment.

I pledged my heart to the prison bars to see you free; my uniform bailing the wounds of my comrades and friends … to protect you.

But today is more bitter than those days … you are chained. You are not laughing. More than a month has passed and I know nothing but that you are chained.

Damn me; could you have inherited the prison from me?

Why am I alone? Where are my comrades? What if they slap you? What if they don’t know that you have fought Iraqi invaders since age of 20; pulling shells out of my skin.

I am alone.

Sorena; I have not forgotten the Zanjan university scandal: [In 2008, Sorena provided evidence that a dean of the university was attempting to rape a female student]

Those who violated the boundaries of the body of the children of this soil were not my comrades.

Those who tried to cover it up were not my comrades.

Those who imprisoned you and denied you the right to education, were not my comrades.

I know my comrades well!

Let me assume those who do this are not of us; they are aliens who wreak injustice.

Let me assume that all my comrades were killed and I remained alive to suffer … until perhaps one day, if there is a living martyr will hear me call out.

Once, I gave all I had for you to be free. Today that you are not free, I give all I have to see you alive … and to see you again.

26 comments:

You know naj, Ahmadinejad and his thugs don't scare me as much as the divide I see in Iran today. Maybe it's a good thing that unlike the days of the revolution, everyone is not mindlessly jumping for the same thing ... I don't know! I just wonder if "break up: divergence of paths and not collision, not pulling nor pushing" is possible in Iran ... and how it would really look like.

Asghar Hashemi's letter was completely, utterly, absolutely heartbreaking. I can't even imagine the weight of the burden he must be carrying.

The divide?It was united before?Iran is never united; you have never had the entire population rally behind "one" thing. What is GOOD this time around is that people are daring to speak up and are daring to not pretend to unity. Every voice is welcome--even if it frightens us; it makes us here a tune we have been deaf to before. Great time for learning, really.

2)"What is GOOD this time around is that people are daring to speak up and are daring to not pretend to unity. Every voice is welcome--even if it frightens us; it makes us here a tune we have been deaf to before." - excellent statement (if I may permit myself to judge) !

Dear Ms. Naj, I've only followed the Iranian news for about 8 months, and can still only name two Iranian cities, but I've come to suspect that your attitude mirrows a peaceful current widespead in Iranian beliefs and culture. I'm a Texan, and of a martial people who believe that sometimes you must paint your face,fight,and yes,kill.I believe tank fire is the best way to clear snipers.I believe the innocent dead pain me as much as they pain you. Your approach to Iran's problems offer the greatest hope.Please allow me to wish you well.BTL

Being utterly convinced that your last year’s posting on 22 Bahman was and still is – perhaps more than ever – a momentous, impressive, grand text, I dared translate it for the benefit of your German readers.

[If you agree, you might post it here in the commentary column; if you don’t agree, please delete this translation]

Together with Sorena , Ali Reza Firoozi was kidnapped too. He was also among those in the University of Zanjan who defended the young girl against the sexual harassment . Here is an interview with her mom :http://www.rhairan.com/archives/126

Naj, Iranian woman, I owe you much.For your tales of resilience.I’m e-mailing from Portugal.When younger, I chanted, shouted and fought tyranny in my country.I’m proud of that.Like you should be about what you are doing.As so many of your beloved iranian heroes, simple citizens. Women and man. Children and older.Please keep me in touch with your insights on your country.“A caterpillar flying over an opened can of worms”.

stating the obvious; but as humans who have chosen to live in a "civilization", we need the freedom to be alive within the economic and intellectual boundaries guaranteed to us under constitution to which we have subscribed.

What is happening in Iran is the violation of an already restrictive constitution; by a minority of goons who have confiscated our national wealth, and to do so have relied on suffocating our intellectual assets--i..e putting them in jail or assassinating them for 30 years, one by one!

I am sorry if you felt I was arrogant; I am afraid it is my disease to sound arrogant :(

I often compress what I want to say in little sentence only because I have little time, ESPECIALLY these days.

What I "did" presume, was a suggestion by you that in cases, such as our country's, we need an abrupt "mutation" out of our existing mode onto something else. And I strongly believe that kind of "jahesh" is not physically/physiologically/philosophically/socially/politically/... sustainable.

I may argue that you started by "blaming" my evolutionary idealism; and all I countered was that my version of growth was perhaps less idealistic than yours.

Idealism does not compromise; does not change direction of action. The chances of evolutionary growth, the Galapagos style (turtle-like) are higher, if you ask me.

Thanks for the clarification. Online communication can sadly distort one's intended meaning and tone. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

I'm frustrated with everything. Any talk of "compromising" with these barbarians sickens me. But I don't think that's what you mean by your gradual evolution. I'd like to have a better understanding of what you mean by it, especially in the current situation. You're an intelligent and passionate person and I really want to understand your thoughts better. Thanks. :)

(Honestly, I don't think I have any "fixed" thoughts on the situation myself - I swing between gradualism and punctuation - the latter, preferably on a basiji's head.)

Yes; revolution turned my world upside down ... and yes it made me work harder for reaching a life that I have now ... and yes it did give me a LOT of strength by forcing me to survive it "clean" ... I am proud of that achievement and I owe it to the strength of convictions my parents held: neither of them succumbed to fascism; neither of them changed color, and both of them lost all they had. None of them acted their dissidence out; none of them went to prison, none of them succumbed to trauma, and both of them raised several children entirely independent of the system that tried to indoctrinate them.

If you listen to the stories of those of us who have been through it all, you will detect a difference between us and those who have been living the revolution in exile--the pragmatism of our generation is missing from their analyses ... and most of these re-surgent revolutionaries fail to HEAR US that we do not want THEIR grudges; that we are willing to forgive without forgetting; that no matter how invested they have been in Iran for the past 3o years, they HAVE to let it go to the youth who is crowding the country today.

What Khamenei says, that the number of "protesters" is minor, is true! But that is only because people in Iran do not necessarily bring their protests out to the street! I don't expect 22 Bahman to be of the same glorious magnitude that 25 Khordad was; that Montazeri's funeral was ...

I expect to see a lot of paid marchers; soldiers; those on government payrolls; and perhaps many of those "melted in Velayat"is!

But from what I hear, people are busy planning vacations and getaways to stay out of this all ... simply, a lot of people like me cannot romanticize 22 Bahman, no matter how green it is painted!

no hard feelings; I am unfortunately very brisk and hurt people and push them away!

Speaking of swinging between gradual and punctual; me too! I think we all do; I think it is an integral part of our culture. Don't you think?

No I don't think the fools who are at the helm deserve any chance; but I also think it is "they" who make it IMPOSSIBLE for themselves to "stay" ... they have to "gradually change" if they are to survive. Look at that dude Mashayee: he is already flirting with the reformist lingo; do;t you think?

The mood swings between "kill'em all" and "talk with'em" is rooted in anger and weariness, respectively.

In my opinion, the events of last summer firmly shut the door on any hope for reform within a system of government that places ultimate and unaccountable power in the hands of one man.

If we have to wait for AN and his ilk to change, then we're in trouble.

I feel that persistent talk about reform and gradual change is sort of like battered wife syndrome. The husband beats and assaults, the wife leaves, but always hobbles back, hoping that the husband will change, eventually, gradually, hopefully! At some point, the wife has to say - no more!

Sometimes you can reason a mugger into pointing his gun away from your head, sometimes you have to force him.

Revolution is scary. It's undesirable. But hope for piecemeal political reform is rooted less in acute political analysis than a fear of and aversion to civil war and revolutionary violence. It's a pipe dream.

Revolution is dangerous. But the status quo is equally undesirable. So, frankly, I'm at a loss.

About Me

I am an Iranian woman. I am not an activist of any feminist cause, but my tales are those of the resilience of my country, half-filled with mothers, sisters, wives and lovers of different shades of creativity and participation. Here, I show a bit of how we resist, as men and women.