First date with Tara in Quebec City. Look there’s snow, isn’t it pretty and romantic? Jesse and Tara go for a ride in buggy #9 and end up at their own private ice-rink. Gee a private ice-rink in Canada, what a concept.

Neither one is a skater and they very carefully shuffle over to an ice castle to collapse on a bench covered with animal skins to sip some wine. Oh speaking of wine, Jesse starts whining about how Tara won’t open up to him. He’s laying his feelings out on the line for her and she’s not giving him any back.

In manspeak, this means she’s not putting out or letting him feel her up whenever he feels the urge. Don’t believe me? Did you NOT notice her hand on his elbow when they were kissing in the restaurant? She was keeping track of his arm, making sure he behaved himself. Back in the fantasy suite we see nothing, Tara is still afraid of making out on camera so they hide off to the side. Boring.

Next date with Jessica in the Bahamas. Jasmine (sorry the flower threw me); I mean Jessica gets to flaunt her body instead of like Tara who had to wear hats and mukluks. Jesse and Ariel, crap I mean Jessica (sorry again, the flippers threw me) roll around in the surf. Jesse tells us he’s afraid Jessica may be too young and is still in school. In manspeak that means, how can she support me, she’s still in school?

At dinner, Jesse confesses to falling in love with her and another person. OUCH. Um Jesse not the smartest thing to say. (Man is he ever a tool.) Lucky for him Jessica doesn’t mind making out in front of the camera, so in the fantasy suite they roll around on the bed. Wow they’re on a roll aren’t they? Get it? On a roll? No? Not good? Oh fine! This is my first summary ya know.

Date with Mandy J, seeing the Washington DC sights. Starting with floating down the river on the Presidential yacht. Mandy J confesses to being a control freak and Jesse starts whistling. Wow they are not connecting at all. Hi Trish! Trish wants her boyfriend back. Which one is my question, I heard she’s had a few. Time for dinner with Mandy J. Can someone please tell me how I missed all those moles before? Yikes! Jesse’s happy; so far Mandy J is making his decision easier. Which means no rose for her. Trish is a woman on a mission, check out her walk. You have to admit a woman with that much confidence is a force to be reckoned with. Jesse looks very uncomfortable at dinner with Mandy J. So I have to wonder, does he know that Trish is about to come through the door? I think this whole thing was staged.

Trish wants him to admit his mistake, let’s see if he does. He doesn’t but he does take the room key. What a man. Trish points out that Jessica B is too young, Tara spits venom when he’s not around and Mandy J needs to come into her own. (Will you all hate me, if I agree with her?) Jesse decides to share the fantasy suite with Mandy J. I have a question… did they ever have dinner? I don’t remember ever seeing food. Oh well. Trish is alone, and Mandy J and Jesse are getting know each other in a hot tube oops I mean tub. So is it finally the end of the Trish show? We’ll see in a few minutes at the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.

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I have to see this movie… did you guys watch the ten minute preview they had on FOX? The Day After Tomorrow….it looks so cool.

Back to the show, he says he’s done with Trish. There was nothing she could have said to change his mind. Ok…. Then why did you take the room key from her? I say he paid her a visit after Mandy J fell asleep. He watches the videos, they all confess to falling for him. First rose goes to Tara. Second rose to Jessica. No shocker tonight, everyone and their brother knew Mandy J was going home tonight.

Next week, Tara and Jessica get to meet Jesse’s family. He says he’s falling in love with both women. Hey Jenny’s back too, giving more advice.