With the biggest, sickest, most debauched party of the summer drawing inexorably closer, Slave Pit Inc. today released “a butt-load” of last-minute details about their 4th annual “GWAR-B-Q”, to be held Sat., Aug. 17th at Hadad’s Water Park in Richmond, Va. The event will be held RAIN OR SHINE. Nothing short of nuclear holocaust can stop GWAR, and even that is highly debatable… the GWAR B-Q is on, NO MATTER WHAT!!!

As far as tickets are concerned please pay close attention– everybody who bought an e-ticket online must have a hard copy of EACH TICKET for entry– that means following all the links provided in the email that was sent to you and printing a hard copy of every ticket. That means if you bought more than one ticket, you must have copies for every individual ticket purchased, so be sure to follow every link and print everything you can. YOU MUST HAVE HARD COPIES OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL TICKET IN ORDER TO GAIN ADMITTANCE. Klar? Klar! That’s “clear” for us Americans.

Deluxe ticket sales have ended, but official GWAR-B-Q 2013 t-shirts will be available for purchase at the event. There will also be raffle tickets available at the merch booth with your chance to win any number of a host of valuable prizes. (See Below) There will be no weapons, pets, video cameras or glass allowed anywhere within Hadads, and backpacks and coolers will be checked by Hadad’s security at the gate. Remember GWAR fans, we are guests at Hadads, and if we want to continue this fine tradition we must respects the perfectly reasonable requests of our host… plus GWAR commands it!

No effort has been spared to make this the most spectacular GWAR B-Q yet, and this year that includes providing the faithful GWAR fans with a skate park truly worthy of a GWAR B-Q. A legion of slaves has been laboring ceaselessly to create it, and their efforts are a complete GO, featuring a half-pipe, ¼ pipes, a fun box (whatever the hell that is), grind rails, and finally a bike launch ramp, supplied by FBM Bike Co. These are all open to the public so bring your skate, bike, or rocket-sled.

Of course the memory of GWAR’s departed Scumdog brother, Flattus Maximus, will always be with us, and many flagons of GWAR BEER (brewed especially for the GWAR B-Q by Tampa‘s Cigar City Brewery) will be hoisted to honor his legend. There will be a special “Flattus Shrine” booth set up full of Smoot shirts and music, and all proceeds garnered here will go straight to the Smoot Family Fund.

Finally, there will be a car pool available for anybody that gets too loopy to pilot their vehicle. This does not mean for you to drive your car into the pool, it means you can get a free ride if you are too wasted. The safety of our fans and other humans is of the highest priority for the Slave-Pit, so your soul can be saved for GWAR’s to do with as they please. Please check the schedules at http://www.gwarbq.com or 2BNB.org or in order to ensure everybody has a accident-free GWAR-B-Q experience.

Spew-Lympian Ian Hussey demonstrates part of grueling training ritual

Slave Pit also announced the participants in this years Spew-O-Lympics, the second time the GWAR-B-Q has hosted this semi-aquatic flail-fest. Contestants were required to submit a short essay on why they felt they should be considered to participate in this hallowed event, the top selections being picked by the band themselves (in a completely random manner).

“We are pleased not only to announce the winners, but are also surprised that forty of our fans could actually write a semi-coherent collection of words, let alone string them together in a coherent fashion,” said GWAR lead singer Oderus Urungus.

“For this effort they will be allowed to flail, flop, and flagellate themselves in front of a jeering crowd, as they are pelted with garbage… all for valuable prizes!”

To get the full listing of the winners on the band’s official Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/gwar, or the official GWAR B-Q website at http://www.gwarbq.com. The contestants must get to the registration area (near the merch booth) as quickly as possible after doors open at 10:30, in order to get their nickname and number and prepare for the first event, which starts promptly at 12:30.

A sampling of some of the amazing prizes available — and yes, that is a real guitar

The prize packages are full of valuable GWAR merchandise, though it looks like our grand prize, the “S.S. Boat” may have exploded and sank in an unexplained accident that “killed a lot of guys.”

“It’s a complete tragedy,” said eyewitness James Nasium.

“My car got dirty.”

Unfortunately, the organizers of the event are sad to announce the cancellation of the band LOINCLOTH from the days festivities. Guitar player Tannon Penland and members of his family were involved in a serious, but non-life threatening automobile accident, that will make it impossible for the band to perform. Said injured band member Tannon Penland from his hospital bed…

Loincloth guitar player Tannon Penland

“I am truly fucking bummed between doses of morphine and dilaudid that Loincloth cannot be slaughtering alongside our many mighty brothers, mutants, and sisters at this year’s GWAR-B-Q. We shall return!”

There is no word yet as to whether or not the empty slot will be filled.

Rain or shine, it’s all systems GO for this years most debauched gathering of the summer and the greatest GWAR-B-Q in history. See all of you faithful bohabs there at Hadad’s, Aug. 17th, 2013! HAIL FLATTUS, HAIL THE BOHABS… AND HAIL GWAR!!!

GWAR is set to release Battle Maximus their 13th studio album, and their first since legendary Scumdog Flattus Maximus returned to the stars to fulfill his cosmic destiny. The album will be available September 17th via Metal Blade Records. You can hear the first track, “Madness at the Core of Time” on The Welding Room radio program and pre-order your copy of Battle Maximus HERE.

GWAR’s Battle Maximus features twelve brand new tracks that not only honor their departed ally, but tells the story of GWAR’s latest struggle against what may be their greatest enemy yet… the insidious “Mr. Perfect”, who has travelled through time itself to steal the power of GWAR — the power of immortality, and use this power to mutate the human race into his twisted vision of what the “perfect” human should be. Once again GWAR finds themselves as the only thing standing between the human race and the latest super-powered shithead bent on the destruction of GWAR and the enslavement of their worshippers.