Now that's over and done with, what does that rocker switch on the top of my seats do? It's by the handle to raise the front seat for access to the back and seems to do nothing at all. I even looked in the manual, it's apparently to move the seat back and forward but that doesn't happen

And since you're viewing, are both my side-view mirrors supposed to dip when I put the vehicle into reverse or only the passenger side?

I'm not 100% sure that we're talking about the same thing, but there is a rocker on the passenger side seat. It moves the seat back and forth but only if the passenger side door is open. I use that a lot when I have to put my daughter in her car seat.

I kept one of those short airline water bottles in mine all the time. Anytime I wanted a cold sip of water there it was, not sure how this equates to being a gimmick and sucking. Now I could see where it wouldn't be very practical if you were attempting to cool a magnum or make ice cubes with it but it did what it was designed to and you didn't have to use it if you didn't want to so you didn't give anything up. I'd just as soon have it back.