Forget waterboarding - we've got a much more frightening torture method on our hands: the 24-hour marathon of A Christmas Story that starts at 8:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve. Seriously, we probably could have extracted so much more information out of Bin Laden's lieutenants if we forced them to watch Flick get his tongue stuck to a pole 12 times throughout the course of a day. At least it's not the most bizarre marathon happening on Christmas Eve: Just one channel over, FX is playing How to Train Your Dragon back-toback- to-back. Nothing says Christmas like How to Train Your Dragon.

It's AWonderful Life-

NBC, Monday, 8 p.m.

Atearjerker if there ever was one, It's AWonderful Life has remained a holiday classic for years - ever since the copyright wasn't renewed in the 1970s and it got played over and over again during the Christmas season. Now, it's only played twice a year on NBC, which probably isn't enough. You need repeated viewings to figure out some of the more questionable parts of the plot, like why Clarence thinks it's so hellish for Mary to work at the library, or why they all keep saying "Hee-haw!"

Jeopardy! - CBS, Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.

Christmas dinner? Alex Trebek doesn't take holidays off - the only thing he eats for Christmas dinner is knowledge.

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Yes, Jeopardy! is filmed months in advance, but it's still nice to think that Trebek spends his Christmas morning rehearsing the different ways to say, "How much would you like to wager?" By the way, after his nine heart attacks, Trebek seems to have gotten pretty ornery in the last couple of years. He's pretty condescending when certain questions are answered incorrectly, and he loves cutting the contestant stories short when he doesn't deem them interesting enough - although that's a blessing for the rest of us watching.

The United States of Bacon - Destination America, Sunday, 10 p.m.

If you didn't think we could get any fatter, you were wrong. Destination America (a channel that apparently exists) has centered its new show, The United States of Bacon, on one of our culture's most artery-clogging indulgences. Its host, chef Todd Fisher (who even looks suspiciously like Guy Fieri), will travel around the country searching for the best dishes that even have trace elements of bacon, from burgers to bacon cheddar apple pie.

Can't really tell yet if this show will be appetizing or nauseating, though if you're one of those people that buys bacon lip balm, you'll probably like it.

Follow Pete McQuaid on Twitter@sweetestpete.

Unless you have it on DVD, Monday night is your last chance this year to watch It's a Wonderful Life.

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