Question

Should we stick with our plan to keep our baby's sex a secret until after the birth?

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My husband and I found out our baby's gender, but we want to keep it a secret until after the birth. Now friends and family members are upset and annoyed with us because we're not telling. I have ten weeks to go -- should we stick to our guns or just tell them?

Mom Answers

Hmmm, I'm not really sure what I think. I wanted the sex of the baby to be a surprise so I asked the US tech not to tell me. My husband and family wanted to know, but I wanted to be surprised. If I knew what I was having I would share it with my family and friends who want to know. I guess I don't see what the point is in keeping it a secret if I already know. But you have to do what you feel most comfortable with. Congrats on your baby!

My husband and I wanted to know too, but keep it a secret from friends/family. It's surprising how tough it is... my mom keeps referring to baby as "she," which makes it tough for us since it's a boy. I've looked it as a game all along. I think it's a lot of more fun when baby comes to be able to say what it is, rather than have people learn that "Oh, she had her boy (or girl)." We found out at 20 weeks, and I'm 33 now... the end is coming! Have fun!

Hi I'm 12 weeks pregnant w/my 2nd child. We didn't find out the first go round, and haven't decided yet for this one. If we do find out though we have decided we won't tell our family at all that we even know. It's fun not knowing!! We just kinda feel like we want this pregnancy to be different, but would still like to keep it a surprise for everyone else. It's only's 1 of 2 things, a BOY or a GIRL.
I say make them wait!!
And as for all the gifts, after you have the baby people will still bring you cute clothes, and this way you get everything you need right now, not twenty of the same cute outfit!!

We also found out the baby's gender. At first, I told people that we knew but were not telling. I have had varied reactions, including irritation, but also folks guessing and trying to catch my reaction (I'm not a good liar). So now I'm just lying and telling people that we don't know.
If I were in your situation, though, I'd stick to my guns. With only 10 weeks left, why spoil the surprise for them (even if they don't appreciate it now)?

I have to say that i totally relate. My husband and I are having our first baby and we found out the sex and chose not to tell anyone else. It has been difficult, but a lot of fun at the same time. Definatly stick to your guns. There are so few surprises now why not just give them one more. We also chose not to reveal the names we had decided on. We thought this would go along with the gender thing. We didn't tell the family we were even pregnant till we were three months along. Then we chose not to share the U/S results after our second one at 31 weeks. Now we only have two more weeks to go. Don't tell. It will be more fun for them.

My husband and I went through the same issues you're going through. I had some work colleagues who felt that if I knew, they should know, too! But, why??!! It's your baby, not theirs! You and your husband should do what you want to do and don't feel obligated to tell anyone - although I did end up telling a few family members and one good friend who was giving away some clothes and needed to know which ones to save for me. Hope it works out! And, congratulations!! (I agree with the previous comment -- next time, just tell them you don't know!)

Well your background info didn't state any particular reason for not wanting anyone else to know but I'm sure it must be a good one. Just explain to them the reason and they might understand and let you have peace for the rest of the pregnancy. They should come around once they are given a reason but if you don't give them anything to go on then I could see how they might be a little hurt. Just remember this is supposed to be a happy time and you don't need to be needlessly stressing over anything. Good luck and congrats

I am 16 weeks pregnaant with my 5th baby. I have two of each, so finding out what I am having is not a priority. I figure I dont have too many surpises in life, and this was a surprise, so I am keeping it a surprise. My in laws are upset because they say I am being selfish for not telling them. "How are supposed to buy anything, let alone clothes??" Anyone who knows me knows that I am not above dressing girls in boys clothing(#4 was boy)and trading baseball caps for ponytails....stick to your guns and good luck!!

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