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Dear Diary, I am so tired of 'er indoors' walking so far ahead of me when we visit foreign countries. She says it's because she never knows when I am going to 'break royal wind'.

She just won't let me forget the incident on the veranda, which was caught on camera and is now on Youtube. I blamed her bloody corgies but she wasn't having it. The lads were giggling and pointing at me too. Making matters worse.