‘Organic water’ is a thing now

A German brand of bottled water called BioKristall has gotten the official go-ahead to market itself as organic water. That's right, not a single pesticide was used to keep away the insects that feed on water crops, and it didn't need any chemical fertilizer either. Thank goodness SOMEBODY cares about our health.

Okay, now all the Lululemon-wearers have gone to petition their local Whole Foods to import BioKristall. The rest of you are probably saying "wtf, isn't all water organic," and indeed a watchdog group said exactly that, and they said it in court. But somehow, even though their case was "it doesn't get a lot more natural than hydrogen plus oxygen," they lost. BioKristall gets to keep on calling itself "bio," which is the German term for organic, although they do have to tweak their sneaky logo which looked suspiciously like the symbol for state-approved organic foods.

The USDA has stated outright that water can't be called organic, so hopefully stories like this won't play out in the States — although we already have diet water so who the hell knows. If we can't have organic water, maybe we can have gluten-free water or vegetarian water instead.