Cruising for a bruising

Won’t you let me take you on a sea cruise? Looking to build on a growing business, cruise lines plan to offer bigger cruise ships with more amenities and attractions, such as aquaparks, a five-story water slide, a glass-bottom walkway and adult-only “havens.”

Carnival Cruise Lines already is making plans to refurbish its ship Triumph after 4,000 travelers were recently stranded onboard without power, running water, toilets and air-conditioning. Carnival will try to lure back former customers with promises of a zipline that connects ship to shore.

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Stiff upper lip, everyone: “Downton Abbey” fans looking to occupy themselves after the end of Season 3, might consider HBO’s new miniseries, “Parade’s End.” Set in Edwardian England, the show follows an aristocratic government statistician committed to upholding fast-fading notions of honor, duty, God and country.

Whatever. You could overdub “Two Broke Girls” with English accents now, and it would earn eight Emmy nominations.

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Nothing to see here: Six nuclear waste tanks are leaking at the Hanford nuclear site near Richland, but Gov. Jay Inslee said there was no immediate risk to the public because it could take years for the waste to reach groundwater.

As he finished his remarks, a giant glowing Palouse earthworm grabbed Inslee and tossed him into the waiting maw of a humongous pygmy rabbit.