Monday, March 24, 2008

In my current state of semi-liberation, my refuge has been the gym. While I admit that it's tempting to curl up in bed and ignore everything that's going on, I've been soldiering on, and taking out my frustration on the StairMaster. I drift from one weight machine to another, pause for 20 minutes of yoga, and all the while, I'm listening to a stream of lyrics coming from my iPod (set on shuffle). Some things have really impacted me and kept me moving, and I was reminded of the power of lyrics in reading Tiffany Monhollon's post on her career inspirations from her music.

Tiffany particularly picks out a few lines that have "set her on fire," including one from a Regina Spektor album, Begin To Hope, that has been one of my favorite new finds in the past year:

3. “You can write, but you can’t edit.” The catchy hook from Regina Spektor’sEdit hits on an important and undervalued skill in blogging: the ability to self-edit. Everyone’s got something to say, and most bloggers can write about it. That’s why we’re here. But can you edit on the macro level and tailor your thoughts and ideas in a way that forms a cohesive, valuable topic or niche? At the micro level, do you have the discipline to fine-tune each word so that your content emphasizes what’s important and cuts the rest, or do you fall in love with your own words so much that what you’re trying to say never gets across?

If I were to pick some of the lyrics that I've been inspired by recently, I'd choose:

I dont know why I was so afraid... all the time Memories seemed to bother me.. my whole life I used to carry the weight of the world And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly

This song always makes me think I really can fly, I just need to find my wings. I don't have to carry everything on my own shoulders--it's okay to set my worries down on the couch when I leave the house. It's okay not to worry about things I can't control. I don't know why I let the past hang onto me, but now I need to make a move and fly.

I walk along the city streetsSo dark with rage and fearAnd I...I wish that I could be that birdAnd fly away from hereI wish I had the wings to fly away from here

But my my I feel so lowMy my where do I go ?My my what do I know ?My my we reap what we sowThey always said that you knew bestBut this little bird's fallen out of that nest nowI've got a feeling that it might have been blessedSo I've just got to put these wings to test

Harping on the same idea here, but part of the magic of this song is in its relentless bass line. Whenever I hear this song, and the power of Lennox' voice, I want to just let it all out, and show the world that I can pick myself up, dust myself off.

4. John Lennon - Nobody Told MeNobody told me there'd be days like thesestrange days indeed.

Everybody's runnin' and no one makes a moveEveryone's a winner and no one seems to lose.There's a little yellow idol to the north of Katmandu.

Everybody's flying and no one leaves the groundEverybody's crying and no one makes a sound.There's a place for us in movies you just gotta stay around.

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

It's true--nobody told me about what it's like to fall off the career ladder, however temporarily. The world is a big scary place, and the important thing to know is that I'm going to break the cycle. This is what it's like to be at a precarious point in your life like this:

You'll worry. You'll worry about losing your home, about how you'll afford groceries. You'll think you're a terrible person in some form or another. Your ego will resemble a pancake under a semi-trailer. You'll want to hide out somewhere, and feel ridiculous telling people you don't have a job. (Because in our society, we are defined by our jobs.) You'll worry about the recession and its impact on your ability to find a new job. Someone will tell you that you're unemployable, and you will feel so worthless that you want to die.

And then you have to get over it. Do something you like: eat a little chocolate, go for a walk on a sunny day, hang out with your dog. And you have to resist the temptation to not do anything. Apply for a job you'd love but don't think you're qualified for. Surprise yourself, call someone who knows someone, just have a relaxed coffee meeting. Ask your mentor if s/he has ever been fired and find out their strategy for coping.

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responses:

As someone who has been on the job hunt for almost 8 months (I refuse to lower my standards, even during a drastic career change) I can definitely agree with the solace you have found at the gym! I think it's the combination of structure and discipline along with the ability to bring some control and consistency to your day that is so helpful. I only work full time at the moment but I feel a sense of accomplishment (as well as hope for a healthier body) by adhering to a self-imposed, strict workout schedule. Kudos!