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I've just found out that there's a wrestling move called 'Sliced Bread #2'. How embarrassing. Anyway, that's not where the title of this journal comes from. I thought it up when I was in high school and always wanted to use it for something.

Thanks to blogger.com for the hosting and the template. Content is copyright Dennis Relser (M. Elmslie) 2004-05.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

We landed on the planet Crideon yesterday. Or, rather, we landed above it. The place is kind of like 'The Jetsons' - everything's on platforms floating in the air, and all kinds of spaceships and aircars zooming around. I've looked down to try to see what's below, but I can't make out any actual 'planet'. Just machinery and clouds. So a little like Bespin, too, I guess.

Fehnruller and Misty stood around on the helipad, supervising as the crew unloaded all the cargo, (bales of pot, sacks of dirt, various seeds and clippings) and as Ingrid and I toted their personal crap (mostly stockpiles of booze and junk food) into their... space condo, or whatever it was. It was pretty heavy.

Later on, the two of them were having drinks in their living room with Alterjio, the leader of the expedition to Earth. Ingrid and I were pouring and serving. Misty said to us, "And when you're done that, take all those bags and boxes and pile them up in the back room. You two can sleep on them." Alterjio winced.

"You guys are the most unbelievable assholes!" Ingrid said. I wasn't sure if I should try to shut her up or not. On the one hand, the smartest thing to do would be to lie low until rescue arrived, and she was disrupting that. On the other hand, they really were the most unbelievable assholes. "Where do you get off, treating people like that?"

"Shut up, slave," Fehnruller said, grinning and drawing his ray gun. That was it. I grabbed Ingrid's arm and hauled her out of there. She struggled, but I wasn't letting go. "Listen to your boyfriend, honey," Fehnruller continued. "You're not on Earth anymore. You're in Archie's world."

Once we were in the back room with all the boxes and stuff I let her go. "I'm gonna kill him, Dennis," she said. "I am. They can't get away with that shit."

"The plan's in motion," I said. "We have to be patient and be careful. It'd be the stupidest thing in the world if Greyghost showed up here tomorrow, and you were already dead because you threw your drink in Fehnruller's face and he blew you away."

"The plan's in motion? The plan sucks. Victor might not be able to find us. He might never get here. Or it might take him months. We need a new plan, and it needs to involve me shoving an entire Christmas tree up Fehnruller's ass and setting it on fire."

"Okay," I said. "I'm flexible. A new plan. Let's see, what do we have to work with? Boxes. Bags..."