I've been doing much research recently on elliptical machines. And when it comes down to the dollar, I do not want to part with my cash. I'm economical like that. But I have been pondering, why should I pay for exercise in general? Well, let me rephrase that, why should I purchase a MACHINE? Lately, the weather has been so nice out that we have been doing 20-30 minute walks around the neighborhood, I walk, the kids bike. I’ve got to say, it has felt magnificent to be out in the fresh air and watching the kids giggle and pedal just makes it all that much more enjoyable. They beg to go ride the neighborhood and that is awesome. Not only do I get exercise, but my kids do as well.

But what about when the weather turns nasty you ask? Well, I absolutely love to dance. I mean, I LOVE to dance. I’ve got moves, yes I do! So I put in the Black Eyed Peas CD or turn on my MP3 player with an 80's set that my DJ friend recorded for me and I get it done. I mean I GET.IT.DONE! Now, my kids ask me when WE can dance. I am starting to see a pattern with my kids here :) Of course I also have Biggest Loser DVD's x3. AND I am buying the family a Wii next month!

So the end result is I have decided I will not pay money for a NEW machine. BUT, if the opportunity presents itself to buy a USED machine, at a great price, I will jump on it. For now, who says you have to pay for exercise? It's all around you, just waiting for you to make the first move...

In 2009 I had been working for a staffing agency. I had been with the company since 2004. As a single mom I was doing very well financially raising my then 2 and 4 year old. I had just received a 5K raise and within a few months the company sold. The economy was spiraling in a downward motion, clients were backing off from using temporary employees due to cost and things were not looking good. In my office it was just myself and one other lady who had been with the company several years less than I.

I will never forget that year. I turned 39 May 14th and May 18th I was laid off. I will never forget the immediate sense of fear that came over me. My mind turned immediately to my kids. How would I take care of them? There were no jobs to be had. Being in the business I was in, I was well aware of the job market. I was scared. They chose to keep the other girl who is a dear friend of mine. The only thing I could think was that I had kids, she didn't. My priority was them, hers was her job. She was more valuable to them. As angry as I was about it, I understood the business side of things.

This was not the first time I was laid off. In October of 2001 I was hired on as the customer service rep for a start up company that made memorial markers. I had my own office, I got along well with everyone, the job was perfect. December 31st the following year they closed their doors. 40+ people immediately joined the ranks of the unemployed.

So, when I lost my job this time, I decided that I was not going to go through this again. I was going to, for the first time, go to college. I would pick a career that offered much opportunity and I would do it. My goal was to go to Northern Oklahoma College and then transfer to Oklahoma State University and earn my bachelors. Having never been to college, I would have to take remedial classes in a couple areas so I could get back into the mainstream of students. I was determined for myself and my family that I would make something of myself. I enrolled in July of 2009.

Three years later, I have taken all the courses I need at NOC and submitted my application to OSU. I was nervous, but I knew I had good grades. I knew that a 2.5 GPA was required to transfer in and I was sitting golden with a 3.28. I checked status everyday until yesterday when I saw the following screen:

ADMITTED! Me, I was admitted to OSU! At 41 years old and managing to raise two kids, ages 4 & 6, literally solo, I DID IT! My eyes filled with tears and my heart swelled with pride. You can't imagine the sense of accomplishment I am feeling right now. I just keep telling myself "YOU DID IT!!!!!"..Goal accomplished. 3 years later, but I did it! So while 2009 was a scary, dark time in my life, 2012 is proving to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Just like with weight loss, if you keep at it, and you do your very best, your goals will be accomplished. Never let anyone tell you that you can't....because my friend, YOU CAN!

So it has been a bit since I have updated my blog and thought I would stop by and drop a few lines...

2012 is definitely starting out on a good note for a couple reasons. For starters, I am doing great with my eating plan and down 18 pounds total as of today. I'm really starting to pay attention to food triggers and whether I am full or not when I feel the need to eat. I feel like my eyes have been opened to why my weight has spiraled out of control and it feels good to have a grip on things.

Next up is school.. As many of you know I was laid off in May of 2009. This was the 2nd time between 2 companies that I had lost my job since 2001. (The first was a complete shutdown). It was then that I decided to return to school and get my bachelors. I am proud to say that I am now in my 3rd year and will achieve my goal of going to Oklahoma State University in the Fall! I have applied, and while I am not 100% sure since I have not received a letter yet, I was told by the admissions officer that with my GPA I will definitely get in. 3 years of busting my butt to not only learn but to maintain good grades has finally paid off and it feels good. I will ad a new post when I hear from OSU. I'm VERY excited about this new adventure.

So that it all I have for today.. I am knee deep into homework so must keep this one short. I promise to write more very soon!! Hope you all are doing well and being kind to yourself. Peace, ♥ and Happiness to you my friends.

Out with the old and in with the new! I was glad to see 2011 put to rest. A new year brings with it a certain freshness a starting over feeling. Some make resolutions while others choose to leave well enough alone. At any rate, we are in a new year and that is cause for celebration!

As I reflect on things of 2011, I find myself seeking out change. I am not making resolutions this year, rather I am making changes in the way I handle my life. Food for example. I have realized that its really not about the food. I have realized why I eat the way I do and what emotions are behind it. I am now able to stop that emotional eating by recognizing the behavior before it starts. It's truly almost as if I have had an "a-ha" moment. And with that a-ha moment came a loss of 16 pounds and still going. :)

Saboteurs. They do in fact exist. There are people who honest to God do not want to see you succeed. They will do their best to tempt, discourage and try to bring you down. They make every effort to infect you with their misery. I see it..I get it..I'm over it. This is my life. I have a hold of the reigns. The negative people need take notice, I am stepping out.

Patience. Being a single parent is difficult. Being the sole parent even more so. I'm not looking nor do I need sympathy, it is what it is. I find myself yelling. A lot. I get frustrated having to "do it all" and I lose my patience. My kids didn't ask for a douche for a dad, but it's what was dealt them. So it's my place to step up and be both mom and dad. I struggle with patience, hard as I try I fail more often than not. But I vow to try even harder. My kids deserve it.

Exercise. I had signed up for and paid my dues for 2011. Without going into details it turned out to be something I chose not to do after seeing who I would have to deal with while there. I am not renewing my membership. However, I will be purchasing an elliptical next month. It will be parked in my living room, my very small living room, facing my television. I intend to spend many hours a week burning calories!

Those are the majority of changes I am making for myself this year. Some of which I already started working on in 2011. This is going to be a good year, I feel it.... Happy New Year friends...may you succeed in all you wish to achieve.