Sunday, October 18, 2015

So, in a hail-mary of an effort to kickstart myself back into gear, I looked into hiring a personal trainer. I googled, and came to thumbtack.com, their tagline right on the front says it all, "From house painting to personal training, we bring you the right pros for every project on your list." It looked alittle like what Care.com is for babysitters and nannys, but for everything else.So, I put in an "ad" for a personal trainer. I put in the basics like my name, location, email, etc... then I also put in what I was looking for in a personal trainer. Gender preference, price range, what style of personal training I was looking for (more Jillian Michaels, or more Bob Harper?), and then sat and waited.
The next day, (previous Thursday), I had multiple responses. the first one I looked at was out on Ft Myers Beach (hah! no thanks)... I sent her a message explaining how I cannot travel that far. The next two, Mike and Lila, were both very enthusiastic in their messages to me.
Mike, a former MMA fighter turned coach, had more of the crossfit/bootcamp style to his look and home gym. Battle ropes, heavy bags, speed bags, it was an awesome little piece of fitness heaven.
Lila, was this adorable little blonde who had the Jillian Michaels scowl down pat and was all about the HIIT training (high intensity interval training). She lived 3.2 miles away from me.
I met Mike last Monday, and he was very nice. He was running an October special where you could bring a workout partner for free. But, even if he didn't mean it, there was a catch. It was already the 12th, he had no openings that week, the next week he was going on vacation, so my training would not start until the 26th. Oh, so my husband can come three times and that's it?? Cool!... [NOT].
Last Wednesday, I met Lila. Even before meeting with her (or even hiring her!) She sent me this whole big email with tons of information on it! It had meal suggestions, pantry lists, good and bad foods, snack suggestions, all sorts on healthy information! And best of all?? SHE WASN'T SELLING ME A SHAKE, PROTEIN POWDER, PILL, OR FALSE PROMISE! She called those things and fad diets "total bullhockey" and said stay away! Her meeting was alittle different. She took my vitals down like my BP, my height, weight, and measurements. I did a bodyfat test (we'll get to this in a minute), and then we went through a workout. Like, a real... legit... workout. no wait, let me back up, first she put me through a fitness test. How many pushups, how long I could hold a plank, how long I could hold squats and lunges, etc. It was to see where my weak areas were (core and arms, which I knew).
So, we're going through this workout. She explains what each move is if I'm unfamiliar, and we do as many [SAFE] reps as we can in a 45sec period followed by 10sec of rest. And she meant it. There was only pauses to explain a move if I wasn't sure what it was, and then we went right back into it.
Needless to say, I hired Lila. And she's AWESOME.

Going back to the body fay thing, so this little handheld device said I'm at 36% bodyfat. For my height and weight, that's obese. Obvs. lol
She put down her pen and looked over all of my information. She then looked at me and said "I'm going to be honest. You're going to be the one who has to put in the work to make the change." I told her I knew that, and that I was ready to do so, especially because I'm now going to pay someone to help me with the things I struggle with. She then said "Well, in that case, I feel confident that if you do 2-3 sessions a week, put in your best effort, change up some of the dietary suggestions we've talked about so far, I think you could lose 10% points by the New Year"

HOLD THE PHONE!
Did she really just say that? She sure as sugar did! And I got excited. It was the first time anyone outside of those who have to be nice to me (friends and family), looked beyond the shell, the outside, and saw the potential I had inside. I damn near cried right then and there. So, instead I held out my hand and said, "You're hired!"

Fast forward a few days, and yesterday (Saturday), Lila and I met in a little park to do our workout. Her in-laws wanted one last day by the pool, so we took our workout outside. And it was a beautiful morning! We met around 11:00, which meant I left the house at 10:20, because I walked the 1.2 miles to get there (it's so close to my house I figured why not add that little extra!)

We get warmed up, HIIT style (squats, punches, etc, in sets with little rest between). Then we go through the workout. She said, "Ok, I want us to get through this 8 times over. It's called the Unyielding Workout." We got through it 4 times. My knees did start to get sore, but I knew my mind was trying to give up. I also am alittle slow, because yes, I'm out of shape. So, my goal for next time is to work on making the move perfect, rather than keeping up with speed. Lila says she'd rather have 1 perfect lunge than 10 crooked or rushed ones.

Unyielding Workout

20 Squats

Pyramid Burpees (first set 10, next set 9, next set 8, etc)

10 Lunges back to front (lunge back, then step that leg forward into a front lunge, then do other leg)

Talk about unyielding! She let me have about a minute or two between sets, and little time between the reps themselves (enough time for water or to adjust my mat).

She also gave me "homework"... finish the other 6 sets I have not done of this workout! She didn't say she wanted them done before our next session, but I am going to try and have them done by Wednesday at the latest!

Lila did not sell me false hope, or give me any sort of forced pep talk. She is enthusiastic and loves to give positive reinforcement, but only when I deserve it! She asks for deeper lunges and gives me alternative when my knees just can't do it anymore!

I have three session this upcoming week: Monday after work, Wednesday and Friday mornings. I am excited! I want to show her my food diary and exercise log and show her I'm trying to put the work in on my end! I have had a couple of cheat foods, but Lila says that's okay as long as they are "cheat meals", not "cheat days", because I'll undo all of the work I'm putting in.. I have struggled a little bit so far with the food, but I keep looking back at all of the health stuff she sent me and am working on eating closer to a hunter-gatherer lifestyle.

I'll close with the biggest reason why I think Lila is going to help me achieve what I want with my life and body... I lost 5lbs alone from Wednesday to Saturday, by changing what I eat and getting that first ass-kicking workout in!

Sunday, October 11, 2015

In honor of Amy getting back on the horse with her latest blog post, I decided to name my latest post with the same title!

I have had quite a last few... months. Weeks. Days. Hours.
I'm on an emotional roller coaster, with no signs of slowing. It has been about 6 months since the IUD placement, and my hormones are still not leveling out like I had hoped; but the doctor said it could take up to a year before I really feel "in control".

"In control".... what a bullshit term. I am not in control of anything. At least it feels that way.

My eating has gotten completely out of control again. My exercise is a laughable excuse of not having enough hours in the day or days in the week. My emotions are a damn train-wreck of fire and burning bodies and death.
I miss my besties. I wish they lived closer. As it is, I have been filling my need for social connection with new friends, alcohol, and drunken rambles about life, and how I feel like a shitty human being.

In honor of this blog post, I also feel obligated to share some secrets and news.

Secret 1: I am trying to find a new job. And I'm using connections in my current job to do so.

Secret 2: I have finally broken down, and have reached the point where I hate myself more than my inflamed and oversized ego can cover for. My depression is leaking like a small puncture in a balloon, and if I don't seek therapy soon, I have a real fear that I may try and hurt myself to escape the mental pain. (For those reading, please do not Baker Act me. I know I need help, and I am actively seeking it. Actively: have names and numbers of therapists and just need the week to start so I can call them).

News 1: I am also so sick and tired of putting in minimal effort at the gym and not seeing the magical results the irrational side of me thinks should be there, so I've looked into getting a personal trainer/nutritionist. I have two I am currently interviewing, with one I hope to meet tomorrow and another I hope to meet on Wednesday.

For the one tomorrow, John is even coming with me. Because right now, this guy has a special where you get someone to work out with you for free for the month! I think it would be cool if John was able to get on board with this. Right now, I think he's only coming with me because I asked him to and he might feel I am trying to guilt him into it. The truth of the matter is that I want him to change for himself, because I'm doing it for ME too, I'm not doing it for him.

The woman I'm likely meeting on Wednesday is close to my age, cute as a button, and hopefully able to kick my ass into gear. I have already explained I need tough love from her, and would love to be pushed to my limits!

Both personal trainers will come at a cost, and it's not a pretty one. Both are manageable, especially with my most recent pay increase, but at the same time my irrational fear is that I will pay for the month and go like two times. Or maybe, it will have the opposite effect and I will be more motivated to go and "get my money's worth", so to speak.

I am still full to the brim with emotions and thoughts and everything else... But, I don't have the energy to write any more.