Thursday, April 19, 2007

Perspective

When I wrote my last post, I was clearly wallowing in a big steaming pile of self-pity. I was trying to get out of the pile, but I was still there nonetheless. Then a couple of things happened this week and I started feeling a little guilty for feeling so sorry for myself.

The Virginia Tech shootings: People are dead all because of one very sick individual. Some parents lost their only child because of this unfathomable event. Many, many lives have changed and an entire community (entire nation, even) is reeling. Perspective.

My stepfather had to have most of his colon removed in an emergency surgery, and will now live out the rest of his days with a colostomy pouch. While that’s not an impossible thing to live with, and I’m sure many people adjust just fine and remain productive members of society, I’m a little worried about how he is going to adjust to this life changing experience. I’m also worried about my very tired mother driving back and forth from OKC to Muskogee/Eufaula to take care of him, all while trying to keep her new job. They have been very understanding so far, but I know a day will soon come to an end. And then there’s also the fact that she burned up the motor in her car driving to see him before the surgery. Her stress level far exceeds mine at this point. More perspective.

So I’ve realized that no matter how bad I think my problems are (and in the grand scheme of things, they aren’t that bad), things can ALWAYS be worse. There will always be someone out there hurting more than me, more lonely than me, and more stressed than me. So my thinking is a little clearer now and I’m thinking more positively. This was a good lesson for me to learn. But I do appreciate all the comments and emails. You guys are all incredibly sweet and if I ever meet any of you in person, I will smother you in hugs.

3 Comments:

I'm sorry to hear about your stepfather and mother. Yes, the events of this week have given some profound perspective. But, having been horribly down in the dumps myself at times, as you well know, I think it's better to allow yourself to feel those sad feelings and get 'em out of your system.

(My breathworker, by the way, said the reason I got a cold is because I haven't been crying! He said if I had a good cry, my cold would get better, and he was right. So venting about our sadness is okay. The reason why so many are sick is because they push down their feelings.) Anyway, again, I'm glad you're not feeling so sad anymore. That's a hard place to be.