It was always my dream to own a trenchcoat. A gorgeous, camel colored trenchcoat. I think they are classic and sophisticated looking. And for years, they didn’t make them in my size, and if they did, they were not flattering – it looked more like a big ass camel colored tent.

So, last fall, I decided that I was going to reward myself with one for the spring. I ordered a lovely trenchcoat, size 14, from Chadwicks. It came shortly and it was beautiful. Gorgeous. And too small last fall. But that’s ok – it was a spring coat.

And my body has changed in six months. I’ve lost body fat and inches, even if the pounds have been creeping off slowly.

Besides, it’s a Spring Coat. Meant for warmer weather. Which we have not had. Until this weekend. It is supposed to be nearly 70 degrees today before I leave work, and it was nearly 50 this morning. Now, I had tried the coat on a few times this winter, just to see….but it was always a bit tight and kind of gaping a the buttons. No pretty.

But this morning, I crossed my fingers and thought, “What the hell?” And I put my beautiful camel colored trenchcoat on.

And it fit!!!!

Size 14!!! A REGULAR size 14. Not a plus sized 14. REGULAR. From a shop that runs small!! (I can wear some 14s already…but my coat…my beautiful coveted coat…well, I knew it was going to run small because Chadwicks does). And it looks great. And I felt grown up. Now, I know that sounds funny coming from a 38 year old woman who has 8 grandkids…but I felt like a grown up.

You see, when you are fat, you feel like you are perpetually dining at the kids table. A metaphore so to speak. As if to say, I want all those pretty grown up sophisticated things, but they don’t fit, and therefore I have to settle for wearing clothes that look as if they were designed for a 70 year old woman to wear on a cruise, or items that were made by Tessie the Tent Maker. The constant wearing of clothing from the Kid’s Table.