A Critique of Betty Dodsons How to Squirt Video

So last week while reading through my feeds at CarnalNation.com, I came across Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’ video on the G-spot called “How to Squirt“. I thought, “This should be interesting” knowing that Betty Dodson is kind-of anti-G-spot (or more accurately pro-clitoris); I was interested in what she would have to say about the subject. This video, by the way, was a response to the most popular question of the week on their website dodsonandross.com, “How can I squirt across the room”. You will see by watching the video below that they never really answer this question seriously, unless you include the “smoke and mirrors” parlor tricks they describe like using a douche, or holding your pee too long.

Here is the video so you can take a look and see what Dodson and Ross have to say.

So, first off, the tone of the video is very condescending and well, snarky. Dodson immediately attacks Dr. Oz (from the popular TV show Dr. Oz) saying “Did you believe that misinformation!” Last week Dr. Oz had a show on the G-spot which you can see a snippet of here. In this episode, Dr. Oz calls the G-spot “the holy grail of sex, the mystical g-spot, the KEY to intense sexual gratification in women…” It is the word “KEY” that really throws Betty Dodson into a tantrum. Ross is quick to note that the KEY to female pleasure is the clitoris, and Dodson emphasizes that even more by spelling it out. C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S. Okay, Betty. Don’t insult us. We can spell.

Dodson and Ross then turn the whole video “answer” into a feminist discourse bringing back the time-old debate of “clitoral vs. g-spot”: aka Kinsey/Dodson/Ross vs. Freud/Whipple/Sundahl. And, that’s fine… It is their soapbox after all. For the record, most sexologists agree (even the ones who advocate G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation) that the clitoris is the KEY to female sexual pleasure and that the G-spot is an extension of the clitoral structure (read my article on female anatomy here). However, that doesn’t mean that G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation are merely “parlor tricks” as Dodson and Ross try to imply.

“Shooting across the room is a parlor trick… Drink a liter of Evian and … fill up your bladder…” You can see where they were going with this line of reasoning before they broke down in snarky laughter. The two continue to explain how to ejaculate using CLITORAL stimulation only with Betty’s much loved Hitachi, saying “then push out and you will ejaculate… giving birth to an orgasm.” Never once do they mention direct G-spot stimulation, vagina penetration, or anything else that would go near the G-spot. And, while some women can ejaculate via clitoral stimulation alone, or without any stimulation what-so-ever (now that is some parlor trick!) most women need G-spot stimulation with a G-spot toy, hands, fingers or whatever can stroke it so it fills with prostate fluid to create ejaculate. Never once does either Dodson or Ross try to answer their reader’s “most popular question of the week- ‘How can I squirt across the room'” with a real answer that addresses the G-spot. I find it very strange that Dodson tries to evade the question with her own all-powerful CLITORIS agenda. This is a real disservice in my mind to her readers and for women seeking real sexuality advice about the G-spot and female ejaculation.

Okay. So, if that wasn’t bad enough, then Dodson starts saying how grossed out she is by female ejaculation: “Personally, I find it all too messy… don’t you dare squirt in my bed…” Then she makes a bunch of awful sounds and faces, and says “Oh, please, go to the bathroom! Go pee in the toilet… I mean… really…” This is not the response I would expect from a reputable “sex positive” educator, someone who many women look up to for sexuality advice. Mind, you, Dodson has always been unconventional, and has never wanted to fit in with established views, which is what has made her great. However, if we turn the clock back to when she was first trying to teach women about their clitoris and orgasms, how did she feel when those “in the know” discounted her orgasms as ugly and messy, or undervalued them? Is this not what she has been fighting against her entire career? For women to have the FREEDOM to and RIGHT to orgasm however they desire? Yet, she nonchalantly cheapens the G-spot and female ejaculation into something messy and gross, that is only a parlor trick anyway, so why bother?

Didn’t women (before liberation) think all sex was messy? I’m sorry but this sounds both juvenile and archaic.

But wait! Just in case you want to bother and know what female ejaculation “feels” like, allow Dodson and Ross to explain, since they are such experts on the subject, neither having ever experienced a G-spot ejaculation themselves!

“Now imagine you have a full bladder and you’ve gone way too long and have to pee… for the last hour… and you make it to the toilet and just let it go… feels so good.” So according to Dodson and Ross, female ejaculation feels like having a really good piss, again equating it to something gross and messy that we wouldn’t want to do during sex. Sorry to enlighten you girls, but a G-spot orgasm and ejaculation doesn’t feel like a really good piss, any more than a clitoral orgasm feels like a really good sneeze. For the record Betty and Veronica (sorry, eh… Carlin), a G-spot orgasm feels fucking great! It doesn’t feel like pissing, or even like a clitoral orgasm what-so-ever.

“Some G-spot orgasms with feel like a roar of sexual energy that is experienced as a deep, full-body quaking and total sexual release. Others are like a rippling effect that sends waves of pleasure tingling through you… Many women note that a G-spot orgasm comes after a series of smaller orgasms, when they are at the ultimate peak of arousal. To some women, G-spot orgasms are more powerful than any other type they have ever experienced.”–How to Pleasure Your G-spot

Dodson even goes on to say that having a great piss could be considered an orgasm as it is a “release of tension.” So, I guess, according to Dodson and Ross having diarrhea and vomiting could be considered really good orgasms well? Whatever turns your crank, I guess, but I’ll stick to my G-spot thanks.

To conclude the video, Dodson states that any orgasm is good as long as you have one. But, then negates this comment by saying, “And, there is nothing wrong with having a little ‘parlor trick’ and bearing down and shooting across the room”, something she accomplished in the bathtub by filling her vagina with water from a douche. So, according to her, G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation are not real? Tell that to the hundreds of thousands of women who experience them.

Am I, and other women who can ejaculate, simply doing a silly parlor trick, and if we are, then why? I’m not a porn star and I most often ejaculate in private during masturbation. So what reason would I have for performing a parlor trick for myself? Are Dodson and Ross saying the whole G-spot/ejaculation phenomenon is a sham? If so, they are trying to censure every woman’s right to seek out G-spot pleasure and orgasm. And, censoring a woman’s right to pleasure should be something Dodson is very familiar with from her pioneering days of teaching women about their right to sexual pleasure, masturbation and orgasm.

Dodson sees the G-spot as “fashionable” and ejaculation as “[j]ust one more thing a woman [have] to achieve,” both of which rival her glorious CLITORIS. “Just when I thought the clitoris had been reinstated thanks to seventies feminists, women and their lovers dived back inside vaginas searching for a magic spot.”–G-spot Revisited And, although I understand Dodson’s frustration after fighting for CLITORAL domination all these years, I don’t see how discarding the G-spot and female ejaculation along with countless women’s experiences is helping women achieve sexual freedom which I thought was her ultimate goal.

Why do we have to choose between the clitoris and G-spot anyway? Why do we have to go back to an age-old debate, between phallocentric vaginal supremacy and angry feminist condemnation as we try to supplant the vagina with the clitoris? Women have both a clitoris and a G-spot, and can experience both types of pleasure. It wasn’t so long ago (I’m sure Betty will remember) when women were not allowed to be sexual creatures at all and were treated for hysteria. So, let’s stop taking steps backwards, and acknowledge both the clitoris and G-spot for the miraculous sexy parts they are, and celebrate all parts of the female sexual anatomy. Women shouldn’t feel pressured to choose one over the other, or to have one if they can’t. Do what comes naturally. Masturbate, and you’ll find your own way to “give birth to your own orgasm”!

So, to end my ranting critique, I’d like to accuse Dodson and Ross of doing the same thing that they accused Dr. Oz of doing. Spreading a big bunch of bullshit misinformation in their “How to Squirt” video. Perhaps Dr. Oz was over-emphasizing the importance of the G-spot, and there is no doubt that there is a lot of hype about that “elusive” spot in the media. And, I don’t agree with his idea of injecting the G-spot with collagen to make it more exaggerated (scary), you can do that simply by stimulating it. But, by pretending that G-spot orgasms and ejaculation is merely a myth or a trick, just because you can experience one yourself, is doing womankind a real disservice. After watching Dr. Oz’s video, I think he actually explained the G-spot very well for the general public and was not misinformed.

So, get used to it girls. The G-spot does exist. And, G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation feel fucking amazing. Especially when they’re messy!

***

Afterword- Coincidentally… In “The G-spot Revisited” Betty Dodson talks more about her views on the G-spot and female ejaculation and acknowledges that both exist. Still, she vehemently fights against it believing its existence challenges her CLITORAL hierarchy. Is this debate about two parts of the female anatomy, or is it a radical feminist battle against phallocentric “masturbating inside vaginas” and male vs. female pleasure?

25 Responses

Thanks for providing a valid counterargument. I suppose that it is difficult to abandon the idea of clitoris as primary and central when you’ve never experienced a gspot orgasm. Disappointing statement from Dodson and Ross. Hope that they, too, can experience the power of the gspot some day.

Great comments Sexorcism. I really wish they could embrace their G-spots as well. Then they would understand what the “hype” is all about. But, as Betty Dodson mentions in her article “G-spot Revisited” every time she sees Beverly Whipple (The G Spot: And Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality) at a convention, she says “I can’t find my G-spot but I’m still looking.” I do believe she has tried, but just prefers to use her clitoris for orgasm, which is fine. The clitoris is great. I love mine and for a quick fix it is perfect. But when I want a deep body, shaking orgasm, I go to my G-spot. 🙂

I don’t get much out of G-spot stimulation myself, but even clitorally it takes time, effort and crazy vibrations, so maybe I’m just not very sensitive overall. Maybe my arms peter out before I can thrust myself to that point. Whatever it is, it doesn’t do much for me. That said I LOVE girthy dildo’s and the pressure they apply, and I would never discount other womens sexual experiences the way Betty Dodson seems to do. Every body is different, some people still can’t deal…

Ugh. This is really frustrating. I completely agree about the agitating tone of the video, and am dismayed at the ridiculous lies that are being perpetuated here (mainly that squirting is akin to pissing). Great deconstruction, Domina. Now I’m gonna go squirt all over my Throe, because YES, there are actual things other than sheets to squirt upon! WHO KNEW?

Ugh #2. I didn’t even watch the video … it sounds just like the classic condescending radical feminist schtick of “if you only understood, you’d agree with us,” which pisses me off to no end. Sexual education and liberation is a wonderful thing, but when you’re told there’s only ONE right way to do it, it’s not actually liberating at all.

I so agree mivox. Why should we come so far only to fall back again? Betty Dodson knows this herself firsthand. I’m just amazed she would have such a negative public opinion about it. Thanks for your comments!

This was beautifully written, you can tell you are very passionate about this subject and that you – I love that! I think all orgasms should be embraced, clitoral or g-spot. A woman’s sexuality is gorgeous, and I love that women are finally understanding that they can ejaculate. Anything that lets women embrace their sexuality and hone their masturbation skills is good in my book. I love the clitoris, I love the G-spot, and I refuse to choose a favorite because I don’t need to, I have both, and I’ll love them, and in turn love myself, amazingly well!

Also, I agree that it’s not really possible to actually explain a squirting orgasm unless you’ve had one. I mean, how can you really describe any sort of orgasm to a woman who’s never had one before? It’s a hard thing to put into words.

Good for you for voicing your opinion. You know…YOU should think of writing your own G-spot book. You have such great frie about you when talking about female sexuality and orgasms and the G-spot. I’d pre-order several copies! 🙂 MWAH!

Thank you lovely! Hehe, I’d love to write a book on the G-spot, but not sure I could do any better than the authors who already have like Deborah Sundahl and Violet blue. But if I di, you get the first copy for free 😉

Oh Epiphora! I love you! Glad you enjoyed the critique. The video stuck in my head all week and I just had to reply to it. I don’t attack anyone’s clitoris or right to have clitoral orgasms. So it bothers me that a sex educator would make fun of this topic like this. Thanks for the comment! 🙂 happy squirting!

Well I still admire Betty Dodson despite having a difference of opinion on G-spot and female ejaculation. After all, she is the “Mother of Masturbation” and I probably wouldn’t be spouting off about my sexuality in public and masturbating so freely without pioneers like her. I know she is intelligent and knows her stuff. But for some reason she wants to continue a battle that to me is obsolete.

I’ve been watching the You Tubes the last couple of months and well, I’m kind of sad that Betty and Co have gone this way – it doesn’t appear all that embracing of the extraordinary range of pleasure that women are capable of experiencing and feels a bit dismissive.
.-= ellinoz´s last blog ..Tico Tico =-.

Thanks for visiting Ellinoz and for your comments! Yes, when visitng their site they have very little relevant info on the G-spot. It seems strange to embrace just one type of pleasure and not consider the other kinds, when you are a sexual educator. I’ll check out those links too!

Thanks Matt! I’m glad to know that guys can enjoy our site as well. I know the majority of readers are women, but I would like to have more content and more writers that would appeal to men’s sexuality issues, other than just the eye candy 🙂 If you have any ideas, let me know. Glad you enjoyed the piece!

You really nailed this interview (pun just slightly intended) with some valid points. How degrading was their tone to those of us that have great pleasure from squirting? I LOVE the mess. To me it’s sexy as hell. As sexy as a man who leaves his orgasmic trail from a great session of pleasure.

As for the g-spot debate. They just haven’t have one. I have had the most full body experiences from proper stimulation.

I truly call myself triple orgasmic. I feel an amazing release from clitoral, gspot and squirting orgasims. The joy being, I have a menu to choose from. And yes, a woman just needs to truly love her body, relax and enjoy. Lots of lovely things for us to learn…no need to be snotty or catty to those who are different. I thought we were beyond those times. Ah, well…

I very much appreciate your thoughtful couterpart and I agree emphatically!

It is great to get feedback like this. I was utterly amazed at their lack of professionalism during this video. I really think that Betty should know better of all people how it feels to have a part of your sexuality unvalidated and scorned. It just seems so hypocritical to me that she would be so disrespectful, when she herself fought so hard to get her sexual ideal (the clitoris) rightly recognized as a valid part of female sexuality. It seems like an US vs THEM attitude that is very childish and hardly helpful at all. As a sex educator I expected much more from Betty Dodson and am pretty disappointed in her encouraging disinformation and prejudice concerning the G-spot. And, she never even had the BALLs to reply to me about this.

Betty Dodson was awesome in the 60’s and 70’s, having orgies with Alex Comfort (Joy of Sex) and really taking female anatomy education by storm.

The past few years she’s been disappointing. She has a column in BUST magazine where she gives BAD advice. One woman wrote in asking how she could have better orgasms and Dodson dismissed her, saying she should be grateful for the orgasms she has. I would have suggested all kinds of things like how to extend orgasms, toys, anal, kegels,etc. And Ross just echoes what Dodson says, she doesn’t seem to bring much to the table.

I’m glad you spoke up about this, I thought it was just me. Sex educators and sex advice columnists should be passionate about what they impart. They have the chance to really make a difference in people’s lives. Keep things positive!

TBK- Thanks so much for your intelligent comments on this topic. It is so rare to get good comments! Although I haven’t read Dodson’s advice on Bust, I am not surprised. I have seen the other advice that she and Ross have given people on their site. (if you have that link to Bust, please post it! 🙂

Too bad. Dodson seems to have become jaded or bitter. She was such a pioneer and someone I had looked up to for so long. I loved that she would go against the grain and speak her mind. But she seems to be trapped in a 70s time bubble now. And, Ross is only her silly little puppet that echoes whatever Dodson says. I worry that many of her readers are of her age group and maybe not as “liberated” as she is, and certainly not as educated about their bodies and their sexual response. The clitoris IS important, but to overlook the G-spot and other erogenous zones is a a disservice to her readers.

No woman is the same and everyone has different triggers that may be orgasmic for them. And, you can always improve your orgasmic experience with the correct knowledge, practice and a willingness to learn.

[…] by spreading the misinformation that the G-spot is only a “smoke and mirrors” parlor trick.—A Critique of Betty Dodson’s “How to Squirt Video”. Yes, the clitoris is essential to women’s sexual pleasure and without it we would not be able […]