Don't do what Deen does, says

Wednesday

Jun 26, 2013 at 2:56 PM

This week anyone who has ever watched The Food Network has heard Paula Deen landed herself in a heap of boiling water. She has been dropped by her sponsors like a hot potato because it has come to light that she has used that granddaddy of derogatory terms when referring to people of African-American descent.

Sharon Myers

This week anyone who has ever watched The Food Network has heard Paula Deen landed herself in a heap of boiling water. She has been dropped by her sponsors like a hot potato because it has come to light that she has used that granddaddy of derogatory terms when referring to people of African-American descent. Now being Southern, it is a tricky path to walk anytime you speak about another race because let's face it, there are still per capita more racists in the South than anywhere else. Now I'm not saying that anyone should be ashamed who they are or from where they came, but we all live with the stigma of our past. There is still the perception from many people around the country that anyone who lives below the Mason-Dixon line is a card carrying Klan member who flies the Confederate flag and hitches up their overalls with shotgun barrels. This is a gross misstatement, but just about the time we Southerners have made a little bit of headway, someone comes along and puts a foot in their mouth.Now I do not know exactly what Deen said, but she has admitted using the N word. To me it is the mere fact that she doesn't understand why using that word in any context is wrong. My issue is that white people, especially Southerners, do not have the right to use that word. PERIOD. I don't care how many black friends you have. I don't care if you are telling a joke or if you are using it as street slang like so many black youths have started doing.It is a term that is meant to be hurtful, to demean, to ridicule. No matter how many times you hear it in a rap song, it's still not right. Maybe in the black community they can accept another definition, but as a white person that is not my call to make. Now I can hear people pointing the finger to others who have said this or said that, but I don't believe one wrong cancels out another. Everyone knows what that term means, and you can't explain your way out of it. Some people say it is because Deen was raised in the segregated South. Well so was my father, and I have never, ever heard that term pass his lips. To me that is the crux of the whole problem. It is how you were raised. In my family, we were raised to have respect for people no matter if they were black or white, rich or poor, smart or dumb. Everyone should be treated with common courtesy. Of course, I must admit my boyfriends who showed up with ripped jeans, long hair and earrings were treated a little less than friendly, but that had nothing to do with their race.I don't necessarily think that Deen is a racist; clueless maybe. She definitely hasn't learned to flip that switch between public and private conversations. There is a big difference between making an inappropriate comment and asking a black person to dress up like a house servant so you can have a plantation theme wedding. How can people not understand how insulting that is? It would be like asking me if I would mind dressing up like an Irish whore so someone can have an English military style party.I know that people in the South are tired of being called racists or at best uneducated, but we bring it on ourselves when we defend people who make stupid comments and then plead ignorance. This is 2013, not 1913. We all know when we are being deliberately insulting. You know exactly what you are saying, if you still tell those kind of jokes. Maybe it seems harmless, but it isn't. Maybe it seems like everyone is making a big deal out of nothing, but if they had been insulting your race or heritage then it would be different, wouldn't it? I don't understand why so many people still use derogatory language when describing someone other than themselves. What is the point besides purposely insulting someone? My rule of thumb is if you wouldn't use the term to describe your grandmother, then you shouldn't use it. Sharon Myers can be reached at 249-3981, ext, 228 or at sharon.myers@the-dispatch.com.