What He's Really Thinking the First Time You Have Sex

Dying to know the naked truth about what goes through his mind before, during, and after the deed? You've come to the right place. We got some brutally honest men to confess. (Warning: A few of these comments are gonna make you cringe.)Get more hot tips for how to have sex!

So you've been dating your guy for a while (or hey, maybe 10 minutes) and now it's the moment of truth...your first night together in the sack. What's he thinking as the lights go low? You may assume you know what's running through the male brain, but believe us, you have no idea. While you're obsessing about leg stubble and trying to remember if your bra and panties match, a guy's dirty mind is all over the map. Cosmo grilled a bunch of men for the raw details on what he's really thinking the first time you get it on.

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How He Preps for First-Time Sex with You

"I set aside that afternoon to clean, and if she's really hot, I'll even take off from work early. You don't want her to open the closet and say, 'What the hell is a dried-up spaghetti dish doing on the floor?' If she sees pubic hairs on the toilet, you're not going to get any."
—Steve, 32, filmmaker

"I make sure my room's clean, but I don't need to have her walk into a love palace. Do I have candles and incense and flowers? No, that's trying way too hard."
—Simon, 24, deejay

"I make sure I've got condoms around. There's nothing worse than having to fumble around looking for a condom when you're about to have sex, especially the first time you're with someone. You look like an idiot."
—Evan, 30, lawyer

"I shoot off a round before she comes over so I don't get overly excited and lose it too fast when we hook up."
—David, 26, sound engineer

How He Really Feels About Your Naked Bod

"There's something golden about that moment where she takes off all of her clothes before you have sex for the first time. Guys don't care much about a stretch mark on her hip or a nipple hair. Ideally, she doesn't have them, but in reality, those women are few and far between."
—Evan

"I take care of myself, and I want someone who does, too. I recently hooked up with this girl and we're lying in bed naked and she had to use the bathroom. I loved watching her butt as she walked away — you could tell she worked out."
—Simon

"The first time I felt a fake breast, it was a real shocker. This girl had incredibly huge tits, and I kept thinking to myself, Whoa, she's gonna be amazing. Then when we rolled onto the bed, I felt a kind of hardness between us. I thought it was her purse at first because it seemed like a solid object and then I realized, This is her breast!"
—Ben

"I hate it if she has really dry hands. When I feel these scratchy mitts giving me a hand job, I'm thinking, Hey, I might as well have my friend Bob give me a hand job instead."
—Mark

"I'm pretty much in awe the first time I see her naked. There are a lot of curves that you weren't expecting or hadn't previously noticed, and it's great."
—Trey

"One time, I took this chick home and got her down to her underwear, and it was like there were a thousand daddy longlegs stuffed in her panties. There was just a massive amount of hair bulging out, really coarse and crunchy! I stopped at that point, and we went to sleep."
—David

"I'm kind of intrigued by piercings and tattoos, but I'm always a bit shocked to see them on her body. Unless I have some reason to anticipate random body art being there, it's just a little bit surprising, and honestly, it's not always a good surprise."
—Rick

What's Running Through His Brain During Foreplay

"By the first time I'm with a girl, there's been such a buildup — phone calls, movies, drinks, parties — that I'm in a state of awe that she's letting me do the things I'm doing. Is that really my hand on her boob? Is she actually allowing me to put my mouth on her body?"
—Trey, 29, production assistant

"A big thing the first time is not pawing her too quickly out of excitement. One time, I started thinking about this really gross coworker of mine on purpose to slow me down. Hey, it worked."
—Matt, 27, video producer

"The first time we start fooling around, I'm hoping she'll direct me and say something like 'That feels really good' or 'Do it this way.' Guys need those green lights to figure out what a girl wants."
—Grant, 31, photographer/construction worker

"Foreplay's my favorite part when I'm with a new girl. But if it's going on 10 minutes and her hand's not in my pants, I'm just like, what's going on?"
—Jay, 25, social worker

"This comes from a programmed and idiotic male sense: All I can think about when we're starting to hook up is that I'm scoring and I get to put an 'X' on my chalkboard. Or that I can't wait to tell my friends about it. If I really care about her, the emotional kind of sex comes later."
—Mark, 21, student

"If during foreplay, the chick says, 'So where is this relationship going? How do you feel?' I'll freak out. It's way too early to be talking about things like that. The first night together is only for fun, not heavy stuff."
—Rick, 31, teacher

"If a woman doesn't want to do certain things during foreplay or won't let me look at certain parts of her body, like her butt or stomach, that sort of annoys me. If she can't relax now, I'm probably not going to get lucky later, which sucks."
—Ben, 29, bartender

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His Do's and Don'ts on Getting Down and Dirty

"The first time, I'm perfectly satisfied with missionary and slight variations on missionary like legs up, legs on my shoulders, that kind of thing. Sometimes it's important to see each other face-to-face...and sometimes it's important not to."
—Matt

"I love it when a girl wants to ride me from the get-go, especially when she squats down and pumps herself like a piston. It's like she's baring it all, right from the start, which is so sexy."
—Steve

"You don't want to get too crazy because you don't want her to think you're a freak. Plus, if you bust out all of your moves the first night, she may just call you for good times and leave it at that."
—Jay

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"For the initial hookup, you're going for a little more of a connection (unless you just brought her home from a club). I like to have her on my lap so we can make out while we're doing it."
—Grant

"The first time, I'll usually lift her off the bed by her butt cheeks, put her legs on my shoulders with her head on the pillow, and really hit the G-spot. Many girls are into it that way the first time around. It shows her you're more creative than just Missionary Guy."
—Evan

"I love getting taken by surprise in bed, like when a girl uses a little dirty talk or does a taboo move. It's like 'Who is this new girl? She looked so sweet when I met her!' Except don't call me Daddy and don't wear a catsuit. That's weird."
—Simon

How Hard He Tries to Please You (or Doesn't)

"I'm always paying attention to the small things she does: how she breathes, what noises she's making. I'm also trying to hit certain areas, like the front and the back wall of the inside of her. Trying to find certain spots, like the G-spot, is harder. But man, sometimes I'm going at it and thinking, What the hell am I doing?"
—David

"I'll wait forever until she orgasms first, telling myself, 'You're not gonna come, you're not gonna come...' It's partly because I want to be a good guy, especially if I want to keep dating her, and partly an ego thing. This is the first night, and you're trying to do everything possible to impress her because you want to look like the biggest stud in the pen."
—Grant

"If she says, 'I've never had an orgasm before' just as we're starting to have sex, I'm not going to try too hard. I don't want to climb K2 tonight!"
—Jay

"Sometimes I've felt such pressure to perform because it's the first time that I've even faked it. You squeeze your butt cheeks together and grimace and shudder and then you pull out and put the condom someplace where she can't see it. Usually your penis starts going soft right away because it was an effort to keep it hard. It's just a relief to get it over with."
—Evan

"The beauty of the first time is that I'm not really concerned about anything. Maybe fireworks will go off or maybe they won't. There's always another shot."
—Ben

What He's Secretly Thinking the Next Morning

"The morning after is a little weird because of expectations. Like if she wakes up and starts acting like she owns the place, putting on my clothes, then I get really irritated. This is too early to wear my shirt home. But if she wakes up and acts cool about everything, I'll offer to make breakfast because it puts a nice seal on things. Even if it was just casual sex, she'll know that I treated her like a lady."
—Evan

"I don't feel awkward if it's a girl I somewhat like. I have no problem with her staying over, and the next day is never really weird for me. If she sticks around, I'll make her breakfast. I'm kind of a romantic, sentimental guy. I don't mind cuddling, but maybe not right after sex."
—Simon

"Usually I'm thinking, How do I get outta here? But not always. I try to avoid spending the night the first time. I usually say something before we even go to my place or hers. I'll say I have to meet up with people, or I'll just make up a work excuse."
—Matt

"Most of the time, I wake up early and start thinking ahead: Should I wait till she gets up to take a shower so we can shower together?"
—Trey

"I'll admit it, I'm a dog. All I want to do the next morning is get dressed, eat some food by myself, watch TV, and hit the gym — not talk."
—Mark

"My old go-to move was that if she was in my room sleeping and I wanted her to leave, I would just move her so her back was against the cold wall. I'd pretend I was sleeping and she'd leave. It worked every time. If she gets back on top of you and tries doing something, you pretend that you're snoring."
—Grant

"When I was younger, I used to wonder the next day how it was for her. Now I don't sweat it as much. She was aroused, I was aroused, and I know I was probably one of her better lovers...or at least that's what I tell myself."
—Steve