One crazy mom's perspective on autism and parenting

Mother of all days…

Everyone knows tomorrow is Mother’s Day. It’s a day to let your mom know you love her and appreciate her. One of those nice made up days that you must respect and deal with or you’re a shit. I love my Mom, she knows it, but I am perfectly happy spending a day, any day, letting her know she is not taken for granted.

As far as my own motherhood goes, I still, after 12 plus years of being a mom, thinks it is so truly amazing to be a mom. The unconditional love and trust of your child electrifies your life like no other thing on this planet. When you hear “Mom, I love you” from a precious gift that you gave birth to, you are whole in a way you could never have even imagined. Funny thing is that I didn’t really like kids all that much before I had them. I think I was afraid they would be too noisy or it would be too much of a commitment. How crazy is that? Stinking crazy!!! Now I embrace motherhood like it’s a girl scout badge that I have earned from hard work and determination. Let me tell you how mommy-ish I am, I have even considered getting a mini-van, the ultimate symbol of a mom. The problem is cranking the dead tunes or listening to Howard Stern in my mini-van, so counter intuitive.

Some years we spent going to the beach, or brunch or just letting me sleep in for a lazy day. Other years I met some friends and we had the “going out and drinking” kind of mother’s day. They are all good because at the end of the day, you tuck those little ones, or not so little ones, into their bed. I love to check on my boys when they are sleeping and touch them just to make sure they are breathing and ok, like when they were infants. I love just to hear them breathing and smell their yumminess. Funny how some of the worst and best part of being a Mom are the smells!!!

This year we are going to be very low-key. Dinner out with all of the family and perhaps some small gifts, just tokens of appreciation and thoughtfulness. Earl is playing softball in the morning. Although all of the wives/moms protested, it still remains a man’s world. Payback on father’s day!!!

Having a special needs child does challenge you in a way that other mom’s do not experience. I often see mom’s of typical kids and have thought, damn they have it easy. Everyone has issues and problems and all kids challenge you but it is different. I have one of each so I see what the difference is. Jason is all about “watch me’, “see me”, that is what he is supposed to do. I am proud and watch him gracefully navigate social situations, school and life. Bryan makes me earn it; I must be on my toes, advocate, think long and short-term, and innovate. I must dig deep to my core and provide love and patience and respect when I’ve got nothing left to give. But the triumphs, well they are sweeter than words.