Better be extra cautious devouring those 3 dozen inferno wings today. With all the accompanying excitement and beer, there is at least a 40% chance of inhaling bone, and about the same chance no one is going to notice or heed your throat-gripping gestures in light of the Super Bowl being far more entertaining than performing the Heimlich maneuver. Should this possibility concern you, and should the potential for the possibility to arise again down the road--summer BBQs, food quantity consumption dares and challenges--seem palpable, a Heimlich Helper self-administered choking prevention device, might be your best investment of 2014. If it ends up saving your life, maybe ever.

Whether you're alone or just know that if you want something done right you better do it yourself, the Heimlich Helper's design gives you full control over the maneuver and enables auto-Heimliching via an upward abdominal thrust of the tool's hammerhead shark-shaped end. The Heimlich Helper describes itself as lightweight and easy to use, with a shape that promotes maximal leverage and control. No batteries or electricity are required.

The Heimlich Helper identifies itself as the perfect gift for people who may be dining alone. Ugh. Dining alone, choking alone, and having to save your own life alone. That is about the saddest thing I've heard since yesterday morning when my mama told me we're out of pudding cups and she's not going back to the store until tomorrow.