Wake Forest QB Drunkenly Drove Through The Quad For Some Subway Like It Ain’t No Thing

Kevin Sousa, Wake Forest’s backup quarterback, was recently booked on a Driving While Impaired charge after drunkenly driving through the quad and into the gymnasium. Just kidding, he drove through the quad and coasted along a sidewalk and up to a campus Subway for a late night footlong. His driver’s license has been suspended and the “school announced yesterday that he was suspended indefinitely for a violation of team rules.”

Per an eye-witness account, Sousa was a very cautious drunk driver, almost polite even.

An eye-witness to the incident told Blogger So Dear that late Saturday night, Sousa was seen driving his vehicle onto the upper quad. He entered the quad by removing the black gate between the Kitchin and Poteat dormitories, before driving across the quad to the Subway located on campus. The eye-witness stated, “He was not driving recklessly, rather, he just coasted up on the sidewalk to the Subway and got out. It’s not like students were sprinting to get out of the way.”

To be clear, it is NOT my intention to make light of driving while intoxicated. It’s a terrible offense and should be treated as such. It’s never okay. I will say, though, that your lawyer may have a leg to stand on for a lesser charge plea when witness accounts use language like “coasted” and explain that all pedestrians in the area of the offense were cool as ice about it.

Some idiot drove their SUV onto the quad late Saturday night. Chalk it up for stupidest move of the weekend. pic.twitter.com/WiokduDTMM