Blame Saturday Night Live. Blame Saturday Night Live for why he thinks he’s so funny and clever, always. You can be funny on Saturday Night Live but not actually funny on your own, you know? JT is not funny on his own. He thinks he’s funny but he’s not funny. And he thinks he’s articulate, but he’s definitely not articulate. He wasn’t articulate when he wrote that non-apology for that appalling video mocking the homeless made in honour of his wedding, and he’s certainly not articulate here in explaining that his “bitch” introduction was not meant to insult Britney:

What exactly does “wouldn’t disrespect anyone personally” mean? When is it never not personal? It’s only not personal when a pipsqueak is trying to jam words together nonsensically because, to him, it sounds good.

And stop using her to help you sell records, loser. God I wish she was sharp enough to be able to call him out on his sh-t. Like, get over me already. You’re married, you jumped on your wife’s head on the cover of PEOPLE, isn’t it time you moved on?

Because it’s Grammy Week, here are Britney and Justin at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy party in 2002. Photo Assumption: he has never looked as happy with a girl as he did then.