'Doulas' pacifiers for new parents

Baby coaches help frazzled moms, dads care for newborns, set up schedules -- and finally get some sleep

August 20, 2007|By Kathryn Masterson. Special to the Tribune

ALEXANDRIA, Va. — It's midnight, and the Cotton house is peaceful and quiet. The babies are sleeping in the nursery, and down the hall, the parents are too.

From a chair next to the crib, baby coach Suzy Giordano watches over 1-month-old twins William and Rachel, ready to soothe a crying baby or give a night feeding so that new parents Bill and Adrien can rest.

FOR THE RECORD - A photo caption accompanying this story contains corrected material, published Aug. 30, 2007.

Giordano trains babies to sleep through the night -- and in the process allows their parents to do the same. She and her staff come into a family's home and work with the parents to set up a feeding, napping and sleeping schedule for the babies that will prepare them to sleep 12 hours a night by the time they reach 12 weeks. They also provide overnight care, especially popular with families of twins or triplets, so parents can catch up on sleep.

"Sleeping is a primary need for every human being," Giordano said. "If you're sleep-deprived, it's going to take half the joy away -- sleep brings back the joy of parenting."

Giordano's Baby Coach business is part of an expanding number of services that are growing in demand and prominence to deal with the struggles of baby's first year.

Some people in the field call themselves baby coaches or consultants, some describe themselves as child development experts, and some have embraced the title of "doula," a word that comes from Greece, meaning female helper or maidservant. They come into the home of a newborn and work side by side with parents, listening to their specific needs and offering encouragement and support plus advice on feeding, sleeping and calming babies.

They believe that helping babies and new parents through the rough spots not only gets a baby off to a good start, but is beneficial for the entire family.

Those who do this work say parents come to them sleep-deprived, frazzled and stressed, especially when grandparents and other family members live too far away to provide long-term help. New parents may feel isolated and at the same time bombarded with well-meaning advice from family and friends.

The approaches to helping families vary, as do the philosophies behind them. Giordano's sleep coach approach puts babies of a certain age and weight on a feeding and napping schedule so they will sleep through the night, with the belief that consistency gives babies and families stability. Postpartum doulas act as companions to new moms, giving emotional and physical support to mothers and their families to empower them and ease the transition into what they call the "fourth trimester." And a local Chicago service for parents of colicky infants, the Fussy Baby Network, provides child development experts who make home visits or phone calls to parents.

Costs vary too. An in-home consultation with Giordano can be $250, while overnight care can range from $75 an hour with Giordano to $30 or $40 an hour with a staff member. She will travel around the country for $1,200 a day or speak on the phone at a rate of $40 for 30 minutes. Postpartum doulas can cost about $25 an hour in urban areas. And the Fussy Baby Network, run by Chicago's Erikson Institute, a graduate school specializing in early-child development, offers free hot-line calls and home visits on a sliding scale, from no cost to $75.

Those who have been in the child development business for a long time, including Soho Parenting in New York and Sleepy Planet in Los Angeles (both of which have parents come to their office for consultations), say they've seen an industry grow up around consulting to anxious new parents looking for professionals to hold their hand, give them advice and boost their confidence in their new roles.

Linda Gilkerson, director of the Fussy Baby Network and a professor at Erikson, is sympathetic to the stresses facing today's families and how that pressure can be magnified when a baby turns out to be different than they expected. Parents can feel guilty, believing they're doing something wrong when their baby won't stop crying or won't go to sleep.

"The expectations are so high," said Gilkerson, who went through the experience with her own fussy baby. "You're already thinking about the right preschool -- parents feel there isn't a lot of give."

The baby coach

Sleepless parents in the Washington area often learn about Suzy Giordano through word of mouth. Giordano, who started working with families with multiple babies 16 years ago, doesn't advertise. But she has written two books on teaching babies to sleep through the night and is working on a third for older children. Families hear about her from friends of friends or buy her book, then go to her Web site ( www.babycoach.net) to find out about her services.

Adrien and Bill Cotton were planning to have Giordano start sleep-training their twins when they were 6 weeks old, but when Rachel and William were born prematurely and Adrien was sick and in the hospital for five days, they asked Giordano to start overnight care when the babies came home from the hospital at 1 week.