Because quasi-voyeuristic revelations, semi-personal writings, random discussions, and a place to waste time all attract me more than they should.
Because the nihilistic nothingness of hyper-consumerism which threatens to overwhelm our culture should be fought.
Because Jesus Christ reigns forever, and in Him love, truth, beauty, goodness, and holiness last. Because in the end there is something.

22.11.04

Love Grows

Often, in my marriage, and my relationship with my wife, I notice, and marvel, at how our love continually grows. If you had asked me when we first met, or even when we got engaged, if I could ever love someone this much, I would have had no concept of where I, and we, are at now.
I am used to moments where I realize my love for her has grown. That happens fairly regularly in this marriage and, I hope, in most marriages. But something different happened recently. It was like I could feel my heart expanding. As if I could watch love envelope areas of my black heart that had been previously surrounded in selfishness, as they were washed in fresh blood and brought back to life.

But, perhaps the most surprising part of this experience, this was not occuring because Kristina did anything wonderful for me. She does such things daily, and they do indeed bring us together and cause our love to grow. This time though, I was the one privileged to be doing something for her. She has been very sick of late, and I have had to do a lot of things for her, and do a lot of the work we usually share. And, to my astonishment, being able to give so much to her like this has definitely brought out more love than usually comes the other way around.

This whole thing has taught me a lot. Firstly, that I, and all of us, are capable of a lot more love than we think. But it really does take action. There is a saying "only those who have faith obey, and only those who obey have faith" regarding the Christian life, and it is true of love also. Love really is a choice. Love grows much more when you act out of it then when you recieve it. Being able to have both is pure joy.

It gives a whole new meaning to the idea that it is in giving we recieve, and in sacrifice that we truly live.