Posts Tagged ‘Global Fitness Centre’

He kept asking me ” If you could have one break through in your life right now what would it be?”

I realize now he is the one who needs to break through his own fears.. funny how projection works.. funny how he was afraid to show me his soul while I was having the courage to offer him my heart and soul wide open..

I don’t need seminars to tell me how to be brave.. I just jump in feet first.. just like I am the first one in the lake..the first one to swim in freezing cold spring waters while other’s my age watch amazed..

They need the to ” Break on through to the other side ”

They have organizations that profess to be for diversity .. but they exclude me due to their prejudice and fears.. they claim to be compassionate and philanthropist.. while in private messages and behind closed doors they are cruel.

They use the press to promote their fake spiritual trends and organizations.. the press it’s self being plastic as hell.. just like them.

They say they support the Goddess Movement holding full moon circles while being to fearful .. terrified of women’s sexuality.. their spirituality watered down..nothing real here.. nothing but pasteurized and purified ..bullshit spirituality.. the sacred made profane by washing it out ..to make it safe for even the fake and flaky .. there is no medicine here.. no Priestesses .. no Goddesses.. just a bunch of women playing it safe.. not realizing that being called a cunt and whore .. were actually complements to the Goddess.. many 1000s of years ago.. the cunt the yoni.. the sacred whore the bridge to heaven.. the passage of the initiation .. the way to life..

They all just skim the surface.. too terrified to really touch the cloak of the divine.. to lift the veil ..to open Pandora’s BOX.. ( they will not understand that metaphor )

They search for the magic in safe and structured places.. because they lack in faith and character..to be about it..to really be the change..

They will not go deeply into the darkest uncharted waters of the soul.. they will not go because others will not go with them.. to find the pearls of wisdom..

The wisdom isn’t found walking the path that others follow.. ( how they love to follow the easy path ).. the wisdom is found were Angels fear to tread.. were only GODS go..

My break through is this… I have the pearl..

And sometimes it is best not to ” Cast your pearls upon swine ”

So let them have their pretty surface organizations.. let them post what they wish they had the courage to do..

And I will keep doing it.. while they gather in groups of spiritual darkness…being to fearful to go deep to find the light within the dark night of the soul..

It’s the only way to find the treasure..to not just say you are about it..but to be it..

I have failed in attempting to promote my book in my home town of Kelowna BC Canada..

The first thing I learned …what I am made of; I am very tenacious, resilient, and determined. I went through incredible hardships doing my best to bash through social prejudice, sexism and bigotry put upon women’s sexuality. I learned that I am pretty strong.

I don’t think my approach would of mattered. Given the subject matter of the book; given that I am topless in the photography and that I candidly wrote about women’s sexuality and used my own sexuality in the book as an example.. I don’t think I could of approached anyone differently in my community .. or by approaching them differently would I have seen other results. By what I have been through I can see by a couple of years experience that these prejudices and sexisms are very well established in our society.. and they are..

1. To be taken seriously as a professional don’t publish topless images of yourself. But it’s ok to publish them of other women if that is your profession

2. You must have a degree to be taken seriously

4. You must know someone or many people within the professional and arts community to be given any help or press releases

5. You must be a part of a networking click to be acceptable

6. To talk about, write about, be about your sexuality as a woman, you are asking for harassment, bullying and to be shut out.

I failed by not knowing my society. I failed because I was childish in my perspective of others. I failed because I underestimated how conservative and repressed my local society is.

Looking back at what I know now; I wouldn’t of even attempted to retain some ground or a speaking platform in my city. I wouldn’t of put myself through such grief, pain and suffering.

I would simply of kept my work online and kept myself away from all of the ignorance.

I was given a wonderful opportunity from Chapters in Kelowna to have my book put in the local authors section. But looking back now, now, that none of them sold since the book signing and so the contract has been cancelled..but looking back now I wouldn’t of even attempted that.. as Kelowna is clearly not my market.

I know that if I did become successful by chance by promoting my book online; Kelowna would fully accept me..but I will not be accepted by Kelowna in any other way..

So the biggest lesson was to know my market.. but I honestly couldn’t of foreseen the intense prejudice in Kelowna without having directly experienced it myself..and it truly does blow my mind.

I have learned how naive and unsophisticated I am .. I was like a child in creating my book and dream.. like a child in expecting that I had equal rights..that I actually had freedom of expression as an artist in the first world.. instead I found that I dredged up what was at the very undercurrents of western society..and that is we haven’t really come that far at all since the 1950s as far as equality and women’s rights ..or for the rights of minorities in general..

I have learned this is truly why my book is needed..and why a new organization or society needs to take up root..so that we can truly live in our supposed freedoms and equalities ..

Even though I am sad at my failure and that I haven’t experienced any form of success in Kelowna.. I am proud of myself for working as hard as I have worked at it over the last couple of years..

By God what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger..and you sure learn.

Purchase my book The Goddess an Expression of the Divine Feminine off Amazon.ca

DISCLAIMER: The content of this blog is not intended to create libel, defame or cause harm to anyone, thing or organization the writer has written about. This blog is solely the opinion and thoughts of the writer. The writer intends no harm to the subjects as these are the interpretations of the facts as seen by the writer; but they are not absolute.