Topic: Assalam u alaikam 15 years old and need help Posted: 30 July 2012 at 9:48pm

Assalam u alaikum

Okay so this ramadan has been the toughest of my life so far, but I'm only 15 so I might have harder. I woke up the first day and almost physically felt a drop in my faith. I didn't want to eat, couldn't sleep, had racing thoughts and a sick stomach all day. I was overcome by this crippling doubt in everything. But this small part of me told myself to keep praying, keep trying to be better, Allah is always there. But I felt this utter hopelessness and I just wanted to lie down and cry and give up. I kept telling myself that Allah loves the patient and if I wait for his mercy it will come to me. I think I'm feeling it now, but every now and again I'll feel this creeping doubt. I'm so scared I'm gonna lose my faith.
I've been through a lot in my life (my parents had a pretty nasty divorce and I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for 5 years now) and I know that inshallah if I live until I'm an old lady I'm probably going to go through a lot more. It's just, when everything happened in my life, I turned to other things than Allah. And I keep going in circles in my head asking questions to myself to see if I really believe, and my thoughts always go something like this:
What if there isn't a next life->no then there would be no point in this one->what if there is nothing bigger out there->(then I think about things like those Indonesia masjids that are still standing after that huge tsunami, sight and my body and the whole universe and all the miracles that are obviously from Allah in the Quran and I get to a point when I know Allah is there)->then I think about that Hadith that the prophet Muhammad saws said that even those with belief the size of an atom will be saved from the hellfire->and then I'm okay.
But again when I'm sitting and watching tv this creeping doubt will always overtake me and it scares me.

Okay so this ramadan has been the toughest of my life so far, but I'm only 15 so I might have harder. I woke up the first day and almost physically felt a drop in my faith. I didn't want to eat, couldn't sleep, had racing thoughts and a sick stomach all day. I was overcome by this crippling doubt in everything. But this small part of me told myself to keep praying, keep trying to be better, Allah is always there. But I felt this utter hopelessness and I just wanted to lie down and cry and give up. I kept telling myself that Allah loves the patient and if I wait for his mercy it will come to me. I think I'm feeling it now, but every now and again I'll feel this creeping doubt. I'm so scared I'm gonna lose my faith.
I've been through a lot in my life (my parents had a pretty nasty divorce and I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for 5 years now) and I know that inshallah if I live until I'm an old lady I'm probably going to go through a lot more. It's just, when everything happened in my life, I turned to other things than Allah. And I keep going in circles in my head asking questions to myself to see if I really believe, and my thoughts always go something like this:
What if there isn't a next life->no then there would be no point in this one->what if there is nothing bigger out there->(then I think about things like those Indonesia masjids that are still standing after that huge tsunami, sight and my body and the whole universe and all the miracles that are obviously from Allah in the Quran and I get to a point when I know Allah is there)->then I think about that Hadith that the prophet Muhammad saws said that even those with belief the size of an atom will be saved from the hellfire->and then I'm okay.
But again when I'm sitting and watching tv this creeping doubt will always overtake me and it scares me.

From my reading around I found out that this questions about God and after life existence is not new. I came across it myself long time ago but I worked it the way out from it. It is not the every day joe cup a tea, but it worked.

Than when I was in Mecca for hajj my room mate asked me what I have prayed so far? I said: for myself? - nothing. That was the result of those transformation, the self less ness, I am nothing. He said that I am crazy or what? So I said to him: Mecca is not pretty place for holiday but I came here anywhere, from that it means that I have the faith, I am financially sound and I am physically able. I told him that all of these are enough gift for me to be thankful, what else do I want?.

Does it make you wonder why Islam is about surrender? Whatever happen after we die is not for us to concern, don't worry about it. We do what we suppose to do now and let it be. For me now, it is not what they told me of what it is, but, what I think what it is.

My advice to you is: Don't be excessive in your belief. Do only the easiest part that you enjoy to do it, and leave the rest.

Habibaty I read your post in the morning but was so tired to type anything so I just wished that Allah sends someone for you. Alhamdulillah.

I think as bro/sis nothing may Allah bless her/him we all have this time in our life when we question God and believes.
Even in Hadith: Allah's Apostle said, "Satan comes to one of you and says, 'Who created so-and-so? 'till he says, 'Who has created your Lord?' So, when he inspires such a question, one should seek refuge with Allah and give up such thoughts."

So these thoughts are kind of not something that make you upset about. But I can tell that you kinda lost hope because of some troubles you had in your life. Sweetie we are all tested in this life and have troubles and hardiness but this doesn't mean all the time will be like this dear. Allah tests us.
Quran 2:155/156/157
(And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient,

Who, when disaster strikes them, say, "Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return."

Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the [rightly] guided.)

So as you see just be more hopeful and wait for good coming days. I'm sure in sha Allah that Allah will replace all your pain with happiness. good days are coming dear. *giving you big sis hugs*

Sweetie you also need to hang our with some good friends and also you need knowledge. All those questions and ideas about Islam and Allah come from shitan (satan) and ignorance. When we don't know why we are Muslims and we don't kow about Allah and His wisdom enough that is when we are so easy to be affected by shitan and bad thoughts. So to sum up honey:
1- try to have some more hope and trust Allah. He is testing you then soon will be your relief. Try to visit the sick or the poor people and help them. Allah removes our pain when we help others plus when you see others pain you will forget your own pain.
2- study more about Islam. If you can't do it tin masjid try online Islamic university.
3- have good friends and try to keep ur self always busy in doing good things like your hobbies and helping others.

May Allah ease your troubles and send you relief soon. May Allah keep us all on the right path.

Amin

Edited by Full of Hopes - 01 August 2012 at 11:24am

And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)

From my reading around I found out that this questions about God and after life existence is not new. I came across it myself long time ago but I worked it the way out from it. It is not the every day joe cup a tea, but it worked.Than when I was in Mecca for hajj my room mate asked me what I have prayed so far? I said: for myself? - nothing. That was the result of those transformation, the self less ness, I am nothing. He said that I am crazy or what? So I said to him: Mecca is not pretty place for holiday but I came here anywhere, from that it means that I have the faith, I am financially sound and I am physically able. I told him that all of these are enough gift for me to be thankful, what else do I want?.Does it make you wonder why Islam is about surrender? Whatever happen after we die is not for us to concern, don't worry about it. We do what we suppose to do now and let it be. For me now, it is not what they told me of what it is, but, what I think what it is.My advice to you is: Don't be excessive in your belief. Do only the easiest part that you enjoy to do it, and leave the rest.

[/QUOTE]

Asslmau alaikum bro/sis nothing.... I somehow like your name. This is my name on whatsApp.. Lol. I believe I'm nothing WITHOUT Allah.
Just a poor little weak creature who owns nothing.
But Allah do want us to pray and ask Him. The more we ask Allah for good things or our needs is the more we are closer to Him and pleasing Him because this is part of our worship to Him.

In Quran (2:186)
And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.

And here again Allah is asking us to ask Him. Quran (40:60)
And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.

We are nothing again if we don't ask Allah to make us something.

Please keep me in your dua. :)

And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)

Ahumdulillah brothers and sisters
I've been making dua and sobbing and weeping for Allahs mercy and help. I know that faith increases and decreases, and I pray that Allah will answer my prayers. Inshallah I will pass this test Allah has given me, it's very hard but I guess that's the point of it.
I have a question though, is doubt like shirk? And it's not shirk if I don't say it out loud right? Because I have some pretty messed up thoughts that I can't even type right now.
Inshallah I will keep praying that these evil thoughts will go away.
La illah ha ila la Muhammad dur rasulalah

Ahumdulillah brothers and sisters
I've been making dua and sobbing and weeping for Allahs mercy and help. I know that faith increases and decreases, and I pray that Allah will answer my prayers. Inshallah I will pass this test Allah has given me, it's very hard but I guess that's the point of it.
I have a question though, is doubt like shirk? And it's not shirk if I don't say it out loud right? Because I have some pretty messed up thoughts that I can't even type right now.
Inshallah I will keep praying that these evil thoughts will go away.
La illah ha ila la Muhammad dur rasulalah

As'alaamu Alaikkum dearest sis,

Satan has been working over time and you need to fight him and win. You must read the Holy Qur'an and you must pray at the stipulated times and practice the five pillars Insha'Allah you will be happier and closer to God. The closer to God you are the further away from satan you become and vice versa. I suppose everybody has the thoughts you have described here but you must stay strong and Dhikr and prayers are key. Stop watching tv, movies and listening to music as these are all from satan and can be depressing for a believer. Try to seperate what is in the Dunya and what you must do to get to Akhira. Somebody who remembers Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala 24/7 is a happier person Alhamdulilah.

Salam sister
May ALLAH help you & guard your iman.
I m attaching a photo of Durood Sharif try to read it as much as you can even once a day or 10 times or 100 what ever is easy for u. Inshallah by the barakah of the Durood ALLAH will guide you cuz who ever reads Durood 1 time "For every Durood Shareef that you recite, ten sins are forgiven, ten good deeds are entered into your sheet of actions and ten position are upgraded."

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