discovering the desires of my heart one day at a time

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Monthly Archives: April 2016

My father had just saw me in front of my laptop and reminded me that it’s already time to sleep. I was about to call the day off when a memory about sleeping popped in my head.

When I was a child, we (the whole family) slept together in one room. Almost always, I was the last one to fall asleep. Thinking that my parents won’t sleep till they’re sure I’m already sleeping, I would intentionally move my arms or legs just so they would know that I am still awake. I didn’t want them to sleep. I wanted them to just watch over me. I was afraid that if they will sleep, I might wake up in the middle of the night, realize that I’m the only one awake and then start to experience scary things. Of course, I did not want that to happen. Just imagining that scene gave me anxiety. Really.

My father once noticed my behavior and asked me why I can’t get to sleep. He suggested that I imagine a herd of sheep jumping and then count them till they stop. I did it but that time I just really can’t sleep.
We tried flipping my pillow (they say flipping pillows help people of any age get to sleep faster), but it didn’t work.

Then my father asked, “Have you prayed?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Oh, that’s why you can’t seem to sleep. Okay, let us pray.”
And so we prayed.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray Thee, Lord, Your child to keep
Your love guard me through the night
And wake me in the morning light.
Amen.

My parents taught this prayer to us and till now, I still sing this good night prayer song. This reassures me that I need not be afraid (even when I wake up in the middle of the night while everybody is sleeping) because God’s love will surely guard me through the night till I wake up in the morning light.

Thank You, God. Thank You for watching over me every day and every night. Amen.

Times like this when I am missing my school days as a student and as a teacher, and would just want to spend my time reminiscing, this song – our school’s farewell song – would always come to mind. Singing this to myself brings all those sweet memories back to life. 🙂