Counseling May Help

ANN LANDERS Syndicated Columnist

Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years. We have two children, ages 7 and 11. We treat one another in a civilized manner and are dedicated parents.

About three years ago, when ``George'' turned 40, our marriage began to fall apart. I saw the signs but didn't know what to do about it. I blamed myself for the problems and suggested counseling. We went for eight joint sessions, which were somewhat helpful, but then, George didn't want to continue. I am still seeing the same therapist.

I don't think George feels anything for me anymore. I still love him, and we have sex occasionally, but when I ask him about our relationship, he says, ``It's OK.''

I feel so alone. I'm sure George is just sticking around until the kids are older and then he will leave me. We still have good family times together, but I don't know if I can live another 10 years like this. Should I put up with it for the sake of the children? _ Torn Up in California

Dear California: I recommend resuming joint counseling _ and let George pick the counselor. You say you have sex ``occasionally.'' That's a good sign. I suggest that you have sex more often, even if you have to initiate it.

Dear Ann Landers: I hope you will print my how-we-met story. In 1950, I had tuberculosis and was confined at the National Jewish Hospital in Denver. While there, I met a female patient. I was from New York and Jewish. She was from Texas and Baptist. She thought I was a boisterous Yankee. I thought she had the face of an angel.

In the few months we spent at the hospital, we became good friends but nothing more. When she left Denver, we stayed in touch. Several months later, I won a contest, and the first prize was a diamond ring. I took a chance and mailed it to her. She accepted it.

In 1952, we went to Denver to get married. The wedding cost all of $16, including the taxi, the justice of the peace and the license. There were no photographs, no parties, no relatives and no gifts, but we didn't care.