Take 5… Islanders winning, women wrestling men, NBA back in Vancouver, Melo’s hard knock life, and do you know who I am?

Here on Take 5… we’re going to give you a quick run down on the 5 most interesting sports stories of the previous week, along with our takes on each story.

Islanders fighting = Wins. Correlation = Causation, right?

The NHL’s New York Islanders have been at the centre of controversy this past week as they amassed over 200 PIM’s against the Penguins, in a game where they dressed 6 enforcers. Coincidentally, the Islanders are now on a 4 game winning streak. Do you think their brawl mentality has brought this team together and contributed to their recent success?

Henry: It clearly has. When you lose as many games as the Islanders have this season, you take any victory you can. Even as small as loading up with enforcers and beating down the team that posterized your delicate goaltender. Way to go Islanders, you’ve now managed 7 wins in your last 10, and pissed off Mario Lemieux.

Dallas: Yes I do. They seem to have that “us against the world” type of mentality now and it’s working. However, they should have developed this persona a while back after discovering that nobody in the NHL, including the fans, care about the New York Islanders.

Ryan: Sometimes when you get backed into a corner and have to either fight your way out or fold, it brings a team together. Without a doubt this team is now playing for each other and the results are showing it.

Now THAT is wife material!

Cedar Falls freshman, Cassy Herkelman, won her first wrestling match in the Iowa State high school tournament after Joel Northrup, decided to default for religious reasons. Northrup in response to his default, released this gem of a statement. “As a matter of conscience and my faith, I do not believe that it is appropriate for a boy to engage a girl in this manner.” What is your take on this latest episode in the saga of women competing in men’s sports?

Dallas: This is a delicate situation and I can understand and sympathize with both sides, especially since they’re high school kids. However, as delicate as it is, this thing is the breeding grounds for hilarity. Rumour has it that the thought of wrestling a female competitor forced Joel Northrup to keep his hands in his spandex pockets for the next three hours!

Henry: That is sick Dallas! Of course I remember a time when uncontrolled erections was no laughing matter. Those Sunday sermons when they told us of drowning people, burning bush and of course, the golden rule: Never fight a woman if there is a chance you may lose and others may see. Thanks Church!

Ryan: How awkward is this situation? If the boy wins he gets shame for beating a girl, if he wins he gets to feel the not so elated feelings of beating a girl. Well played by this young man to just avoid the situation all together.

Sure it would work in Vancouver. It's still not going to happen.

NBA commissioner, David Stern, called the Vancouver Grizzlies 6 year tenure in the league, his biggest regret. Conveniently, the New Orleans Hornets are looking for a new owner and home. Stern said earlier this week they are considering the Canucks Sports and Entertainment group in Vancouver. When will we see basketball back in Vancouver?

Ryan: I think there is merit here. The NBA has for a while now struggled to find a stable owner for this franchise. They could do a lot worse than Canucks Sports and Entertainment, like contraction, so I’d say there is a chance we could see the NBA back in Vancouver.

Henry: I think we are making a mountain of a mole hill here. Stern said he regrets moving the Grizzlies too early, before they got a foothold. That doesn’t mean he is going to make things right, he just plans on throwing it on the pile labeled mistakes. Sorry Vancouver, the NBA still hates you.

Dallas: We won’t. How does Stern call the Grizzlies his biggest regret and finish off by commenting that they’re considering a move back there? How does that saying go? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me…we can’t get fooled again! – George W. Bush

This is a look of self-satisfaction like no other.

Here is Carmelo Anthony, small forward for the Denver Nuggets, with the quote of the week. “I think it takes a strong-willed person, a strong-minded person, to deal with the stuff that I deal with. I take my hat off to myself for dealing with all this stuff that’s going on and still be able to go out there and play at the high level that I play at. I really don’t think an average person can walk in my shoes. I don’t think that.” Dissect.

Dallas: On a personal level, he has had to deal with some family issues which are always difficult. On a professional level, he’s causing all of the issues he’s had to deal with. “I take my hat off to myself.” Marvelous!

Henry: I don’t think anyone ever has to say another nice thing about Melo, ever again. He speaks of himself so highly, no wonder he doesn’t play defence. I wonder if it is lonely for him all alone on that pedestal constructed of gold, diamonds, and dolla dolla bills?

Ryan: This goes to show it is in fact his agent who is letting all the trade secrets out to the public. They’re the one’s trying to create all the ‘Melo Drama’ and I’m starting to think Carmelo has a like ‘Favre syndrome’ going on!

Okay Miguel, pull yourself together. Just smile big and explain to them who you are.

This past week, both Legedu Naanee, wide receiver for the San Diego Chargers, and Miguel Cabrera, 1st basemen for the Detroit Tigers, were arrested for alcohol related events. While being taken into custody, both dropped the line, “Do you know who I am?” When was the last time that line worked for you with the coppers?

Dallas: I can truthfully say that line has never worked for me and it’s not like I haven’t tried! Hell, it doesn’t even work on my wife when I’m trying to get out of cleaning the house. Apparently co-hosting a low-profile sports talk show in Winnipeg gets you absolutely no pull!

Henry: It sounds like Cabrera, Naanee and Melo would get along together just fine. I think Cabrera can drop this, Naanee however should probably hold off until he actually cracks a starting roster. Wait a minute Dallas, Ryan promoted you to co-host? This is bullshit! Does he know who I am?

Ryan: Two candidates for the biggest clowns away from their sport battled it out this week for stupidity supremacy! In one corner Legedu crossed a police line and started tampering with a crime scene whilst intoxicated. Meanwhile Miguel was pulled over for suspicion of DUI and after asking the deputy if he knew who he was, he decided now is the best time to take a sip of his refreshing Scotch. The winner for the biggest clown away from the game is………..they’re both losers!