Do The Dates End When The Relationship Starts? [He Said/She Said]

Ellen Scott

In recent semi-shocking news, the stunning Blake Lively claimed that she had NEVER been on a date, despite having been in relationships with Penn Badgley, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ryan Reynolds. Come on guys, what’s going on? How can people seriously be “in a relationship” and never go on dates? How did they even end up together without dating first? This isn’t just alarming, it’s really confusing. I get that the dating world is getting increasingly complicated and in some ways outdated. A flirty g-chat is becoming the new coffee date, and going out for dinner can be seen as really try-hard and romantic, but that doesn’t mean dates should stop all together, especially when you’re in a relationship!

I think a lot of guys think that when the relationship starts, dating stops. I’ve heard guys say that dating is NEVER exclusive. So does that mean dating and being in a relationship are mutually exclusive? At what point can we safely say that we’re in a relationship, and, connected to that, at what point does the dating stop? Let’s break it down by explaining the different types of date, and exactly how many there should be once you’re in a relationship.

The Dinner Date: This is probably the image that comes to everyone’s mind when people say ‘date’, and to be fair, it does sound pretty intimidating. If you don’t know a guy well and he takes you out for dinner, there is huge potential for awkward silences and boredom, so it seems like basically the worst first date idea. Unless of course you’re soulmates, in which case it’ll go perfectly, you’ll be talking all night and it will be the best night ever. But I don’t think dinner dates should be completely ruled out. They’re perfect for couples who want to be romantic and spend intense time together, but are also kind of expensive, so I say if you’re in a long term relationship once or twice a month is perfect.

The Movie Date: One of my male friends once told me that the only reason a guy takes a girl to a movie is to make out, which kind of makes sense if you think about it – it’s dark, there are comfy seats, you can sit unseen in the back – so when people are ‘just dating’, this kind of date seems kind of rude. But when you’re in a relationship movie dates are great! There’s no pressure on movie choices, the chance of great post-movie discussions, and boyfriends make perfect movie buddies. When in a relationship, movie dates are essential. Whenever a new movie comes out that you want to see, but all your friends think it’s stupid, your significant other should take you. Plus, it’s such an easy date. Guys, just take your girlfriend to the cinema or put on a DVD. No relationships without movie dates allowed.

The Casual Hang Out: This is the most complex type of date ever. Is it even a date? Is it a friend thing? Casual hang outs can be read in so many different ways that they are excruciating to analyse. This is another one that is a completely cool date, you get to know each other well and it’s usually free, but if it’s the only type of date you’re having that’s no good. A guy who exclusively hangs out with you at his house or yours is just being lazy. If you’re just dating, give up immediately. If you’re in a relationship with this guy already, tell him he seriously needs to up his game. For some reason guys think that once you’re in a relationship, this is all you need to do. They are wrong.

The Coffee/Ice Cream/Snack Item Date: This is one of the easiest and most fun dates, so this should be the most common type for people in relationships. I reckon at least one per week is acceptable, more is better.

The Lunch Date: If a couple works or lives near each other, there is no reason they shouldn’t have lunch together. Obviously go for lunch with friends too, but when in a relationship and in close proximity, at least 3 lunch dates per week please. Eating alone sucks and a lunch break is the perfect way to spend a little time with the boyfriend.

Just because people are in a relationship doesn’t mean the dates stop. Casual hang outs and make out sessions are not going to cut it, people have to make some kind of effort! Basically, if you’re in a relationship, at least one type of date per week. Dress up, take us out, make us happy. Easy.