Mothers entitled to their children?

I've seen people outraged that a fit father would win a custody battle against a fit mother. Why is that so bad/crazy? Are fathers not just as entitled to their children as mothers? I'll admit I'd hate to not have custody of my son, but I know my SO would feel exactly the same as me if he didn't have custody.

Thoughts?

I've seen people outraged that a fit father would win a custody battle against a fit mother. Why is that so bad/crazy? Are fathers not just as entitled to their children as mothers? I'll admit I'd hate to not have custody of my son, but I know my SO would feel exactly the same as me if he didn't have custody.

I think the sense of entitlement is what outrages people. Im told it's normally unheard of for mothers to lose custody but like you, I say what's so wrong with the father If he is just as fit? What makes the mother anymore entitled?

I think the sense of entitlement is what outrages people. Im told it's normally unheard of for mothers to lose custody but like you, I say what's so wrong with the father If he is just as fit? What makes the mother anymore entitled?

This may be the unpopular opinion but I say that if both parents are fit then the baby should go with the mother first of all fathers cannot bf second she carried that baby inside her body and has a bond long before the baby is ever born but I do believe that every fit father should be apart of the babies life so weekends once the baby is done bf and visits before.

This may be the unpopular opinion but I say that if both parents are fit then the baby should go with the mother first of all fathers cannot bf second she carried that baby inside her body and has a bond long before the baby is ever born but I do believe that every fit father should be apart of the babies life so weekends once the baby is done bf and visits before.

I think that parents should have equal rights in teh case of child custody. Whatever is best for a child is what should happen. I think we are many years away from that being the case in every state/county/area.

I am currently working with a family doing supervised visits and I truly believe that the bio dad shoul dhave full custody with limited visitation for mom; preferably continued to be supervised. I am actually looking forward to the court date on this one; I hope the judge listens to reason and doesn't just side with mom or keep the child in foster care.

I think that parents should have equal rights in teh case of child custody. Whatever is best for a child is what should happen. I think we are many years away from that being the case in every state/county/area.

I am currently working with a family doing supervised visits and I truly believe that the bio dad shoul dhave full custody with limited visitation for mom; preferably continued to be supervised. I am actually looking forward to the court date on this one; I hope the judge listens to reason and doesn't just side with mom or keep the child in foster care.

Not all mothers bond with their child before birth. I would say that DH was just as bonded to my kids as I was before they were born. He was there for every appointment, every u/s, the long painful births. I would never deny a man the right to have his child because of how the child is fed or because of an assumed bond before birth.

has a bond long before the baby is ever born

Not all mothers bond with their child before birth. I would say that DH was just as bonded to my kids as I was before they were born. He was there for every appointment, every u/s, the long painful births. I would never deny a man the right to have his child because of how the child is fed or because of an assumed bond before birth.

"If religious people could be reasoned with, there would be no religious people.""I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar and often convincing."

Jack Channing Lockhart Born 6.26.2011 9:15am6lbs, 7oz; 21 in long

From:
January11mom

To: jocelyn81889

Posted: May-12 09:41 PM (9 of 85)

I don't think the system is fair to the dads. I've seen dads lose custody (full) even though the child would be better off with them. I would hate to lose custody of my child, but my husband would feel the same way and he is just as fit as I am to raise them.

I don't think the system is fair to the dads. I've seen dads lose custody (full) even though the child would be better off with them. I would hate to lose custody of my child, but my husband would feel the same way and he is just as fit as I am to raise them.

That's exactly what I want to know. I'm all about Father's Rights and I don't believe for a second that "every other weekend" is right.

My SO and I split for a little while when I was 7 months pregnant and we worked out visitation, holidays, and custody very easily. He admitted he didn't think he would be able to care for our son as well as I would, so I'd get custody. But he would be able to pick our son up and spend time with him whenever he chose. All holidays would be spent together, and if he wanted to take our son out of state to visit his family, then he had every right to. Just like I had every right to.

There is such a double standard when it comes to mothers and fathers. My SO has a 2 yr old DD who lives in another state and he is only allowed to see her every other holiday. That's it. No special weekends, no weeks in the summer, nothing. Every other holiday. It is extremely unfair and we have been fighting for about 6 months for more rights. I guess that's why I feel so strongly about this.

That's exactly what I want to know. I'm all about Father's Rights and I don't believe for a second that "every other weekend" is right.

My SO and I split for a little while when I was 7 months pregnant and we worked out visitation, holidays, and custody very easily. He admitted he didn't think he would be able to care for our son as well as I would, so I'd get custody. But he would be able to pick our son up and spend time with him whenever he chose. All holidays would be spent together, and if he wanted to take our son out of state to visit his family, then he had every right to. Just like I had every right to.

There is such a double standard when it comes to mothers and fathers. My SO has a 2 yr old DD who lives in another state and he is only allowed to see her every other holiday. That's it. No special weekends, no weeks in the summer, nothing. Every other holiday. It is extremely unfair and we have been fighting for about 6 months for more rights. I guess that's why I feel so strongly about this.

I agree completely. My state has an "Early Years Law" (think that's what its called) that states that before the age of two, custody will automatically be granted to the mother, unless proven unfit. I think this law is bullsh!t and should be done away with. I've tried Googling it, but I can't find much on it.

I agree completely. My state has an "Early Years Law" (think that's what its called) that states that before the age of two, custody will automatically be granted to the mother, unless proven unfit. I think this law is bullsh!t and should be done away with. I've tried Googling it, but I can't find much on it.

"If religious people could be reasoned with, there would be no religious people.""I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar and often convincing."

Jack Channing Lockhart Born 6.26.2011 9:15am6lbs, 7oz; 21 in long

From:
Jamlah1824

To: Joelenebabynum2

Posted: May-12 10:00 PM (13 of 85)

Very unpopular.... My DB would fight through hell or high water for our girls. That's one of the reasons I love him so much. If we ever split, it would HAVE to be 50/50 custody, they are close to BOTH of us. My DB bonded with our girls from the the beginning of my pregnancies. Sometimes I feel like I'm the dad and he's the mom, lol. He's the best and I could never hurt my children or him, by getting fulltime custody for my own selfish reasons.

Very unpopular.... My DB would fight through hell or high water for our girls. That's one of the reasons I love him so much. If we ever split, it would HAVE to be 50/50 custody, they are close to BOTH of us. My DB bonded with our girls from the the beginning of my pregnancies. Sometimes I feel like I'm the dad and he's the mom, lol. He's the best and I could never hurt my children or him, by getting fulltime custody for my own selfish reasons.

Breastfeeding is a reason for women to feel entitled for an infant. Most judges now will do shared custody if both parts are fit for custody. But, children need one stable home, and usually that goes to the parent who is more available to the kids.

Breastfeeding is a reason for women to feel entitled for an infant. Most judges now will do shared custody if both parts are fit for custody. But, children need one stable home, and usually that goes to the parent who is more available to the kids.

Every situation is different, but if everything was exactly equal both parents being fit I feel that a baby should be with the mother they have spent 9 months with their mother then to rip them away just to make it fair to the father doesnt make sence to me. I have no idea how much time is enough for the father to be around to be considered in the childs life for everyone eles for me it would be every weekend maybe every other week once the child is older or can say for them selves they want to stay with their father.

A father may be as bonded to the baby but put the baby between the father and mother and have them both talk the baby will turn towards the mother. I may be sexist by saying this but I don't think a father can feel the level of love a mother can. I know their are bad mothers and of course custody should go to the father.

Every situation is different, but if everything was exactly equal both parents being fit I feel that a baby should be with the mother they have spent 9 months with their mother then to rip them away just to make it fair to the father doesnt make sence to me. I have no idea how much time is enough for the father to be around to be considered in the childs life for everyone eles for me it would be every weekend maybe every other week once the child is older or can say for them selves they want to stay with their father.

A father may be as bonded to the baby but put the baby between the father and mother and have them both talk the baby will turn towards the mother. I may be sexist by saying this but I don't think a father can feel the level of love a mother can. I know their are bad mothers and of course custody should go to the father.

I think the baby should go to the stable and fit parent regardless of if its mom or dad. I understand the BF argument but I do not agree that it should trump common sense. If she's unfit than the baby is better off on formula with its daddy. If all things are equal and mom is BF'ing then yes, I would support mom having preference in custody for the first year. If both are fit parents after the first year, love and cherish the child and want custody - I would hate to be the judge to decide that case.

I think the baby should go to the stable and fit parent regardless of if its mom or dad. I understand the BF argument but I do not agree that it should trump common sense. If she's unfit than the baby is better off on formula with its daddy. If all things are equal and mom is BF'ing then yes, I would support mom having preference in custody for the first year. If both are fit parents after the first year, love and cherish the child and want custody - I would hate to be the judge to decide that case.

I sincerely hope not everyone thinks like you. A mother doesn't love her child anymore than a father loves his just because she is the mother. Sure, the baby spent 9 months growing inside her, but I would think that makes the father want to form a stronger bond once the baby is out because he didn't get to experience his/her kicks and hiccups and movements while he/she was baking.

Children do not have a stronger bond with their mother than their fathers. They bond with their primary caregiver. The mother is usually the primary caregiver, but if you were to switch the roles, the bond would strengthen to where the mother would have the less intense bond.

If I thought my SO didn't love our son as much as I do, I'd be a very sad and disappointed woman.

I sincerely hope not everyone thinks like you. A mother doesn't love her child anymore than a father loves his just because she is the mother. Sure, the baby spent 9 months growing inside her, but I would think that makes the father want to form a stronger bond once the baby is out because he didn't get to experience his/her kicks and hiccups and movements while he/she was baking.

Children do not have a stronger bond with their mother than their fathers. They bond with their primary caregiver. The mother is usually the primary caregiver, but if you were to switch the roles, the bond would strengthen to where the mother would have the less intense bond.

If I thought my SO didn't love our son as much as I do, I'd be a very sad and disappointed woman.

"If religious people could be reasoned with, there would be no religious people.""I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar and often convincing."

Jack Channing Lockhart Born 6.26.2011 9:15am6lbs, 7oz; 21 in long

From:
geml

To: jocelyn81889

Posted: May-12 10:25 PM (18 of 85)

There is a very practical problem with the FF/BF argument being a justification for custody. Â A woman who wants custody will have every incentive to say that she's doing so, which may not actually be the case. Â It would have to be monitored -- and that is a huge invasion of privacy. Â (Did she buy formula! Â Gasp!) Â Second, it would legalize the debate that "fitness" was equal to "breastfeeding." Â I know that there are some women who would be perfectly fine with that, but to me (a breastfeeding mother, btw) the legal corollary (and this would be argued so fast it would make your head spin) is that formula feeding = unfit. Â That's a huge move for a court to make.

I'm actually someone who favors greater father's rights than what are currently given, but I think we should keep breastfeeding or formula feeding out of that equation. Â Otherwise, we risk opening up a huge new issue in family court that could huge unintentional consequences.

There is a very practical problem with the FF/BF argument being a justification for custody. Â A woman who wants custody will have every incentive to say that she's doing so, which may not actually be the case. Â It would have to be monitored -- and that is a huge invasion of privacy. Â (Did she buy formula! Â Gasp!) Â Second, it would legalize the debate that "fitness" was equal to "breastfeeding." Â I know that there are some women who would be perfectly fine with that, but to me (a breastfeeding mother, btw) the legal corollary (and this would be argued so fast it would make your head spin) is that formula feeding = unfit. Â That's a huge move for a court to make.

I'm actually someone who favors greater father's rights than what are currently given, but I think we should keep breastfeeding or formula feeding out of that equation. Â Otherwise, we risk opening up a huge new issue in family court that could huge unintentional consequences.

Gretchen--- Mother of a teenage son (April, 1996) and of a daughter, born June 1, 2011.

From:
HufflepuffPride

To: jocelyn81889

Posted: May-12 10:36 PM (19 of 85)

I am certain not all mothers love their kids as much as others. in the case of my exSIL she thought that just because she was the mom meant she could get custody, and she didn't want to share, but she is crazy.Â

Â she only wanted them out of spite, the day she lost custody she dropped them off with my brother and went shopping. I ran into her before I knew about the custody thing and she looked happy to be bargain hunting with her new boyfriend she said nothing at all about being sad, (and not for consideration to her audience either, this woman will say anything to anybody) Â on easter, even though he didn't have to my brother told her she could take them to her church, even tho they usually attend Mass with him, she let them get excited, then canceled at the last minute saying she didn't have the gas, my brother offered the gas money, then she claimed they broke a water main and couldn't take them....Its a rumor she went to Edgefest, a multistage outdoor concert.Â

I'm glad he found a judge willing to see that just because they came from her vagina doesn't mean she's better suited to taking care of them.Â

I am certain not all mothers love their kids as much as others. in the case of my exSIL she thought that just because she was the mom meant she could get custody, and she didn't want to share, but she is crazy.Â

Â she only wanted them out of spite, the day she lost custody she dropped them off with my brother and went shopping. I ran into her before I knew about the custody thing and she looked happy to be bargain hunting with her new boyfriend she said nothing at all about being sad, (and not for consideration to her audience either, this woman will say anything to anybody) Â on easter, even though he didn't have to my brother told her she could take them to her church, even tho they usually attend Mass with him, she let them get excited, then canceled at the last minute saying she didn't have the gas, my brother offered the gas money, then she claimed they broke a water main and couldn't take them....Its a rumor she went to Edgefest, a multistage outdoor concert.Â

I'm glad he found a judge willing to see that just because they came from her vagina doesn't mean she's better suited to taking care of them.Â

I'm confused girls, what do people exactly mean when they say "the
father should be in the child's life" ? How much time is enough to be in
the child's life?

Not enough. If it's every weekend or every other. IMO.

I think it's rotten that when parents split, the child or children have to be split. I know it's a part of life, but I feel bad for the kids. I hate the fact of every other weekend etc. I could not deal with not seeing my kids for more than a day. I don't know how some people do it.

Having to deal with this in real life, I know how it affects the kids.

I'm confused girls, what do people exactly mean when they say "the
father should be in the child's life" ? How much time is enough to be in
the child's life?

Not enough. If it's every weekend or every other. IMO.

I think it's rotten that when parents split, the child or children have to be split. I know it's a part of life, but I feel bad for the kids. I hate the fact of every other weekend etc. I could not deal with not seeing my kids for more than a day. I don't know how some people do it.

Having to deal with this in real life, I know how it affects the kids.

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