It's that time of year. The time of year when you need to buy gifts for people, or you get called a scrooge. If that happens you won't recover and your name gets changed legally to Ebeneezer Scroogington McDuff-chan and you'll never be able to exist in polite conversation aga-

what the f**k am I doing...?
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So, yeah, I'm going to suggest one new game a day. Maybe you've heard of it, and maybe you haven't. Either way, it should be a decent learning experience and maybe you'll think about trying these games yourself. Maybe you'll even have someone buy these games FOR you. Eh? Gotta think ahead of the curve and all.

Feel free to look here for last year's list and here for the year before when I only did 25. Now without further ado...

On the first day of December, my true love gave to me...

31 Suitors Racing!: The Next Penelope: Race to Odysseus

Perfect For:
- When you need an epic retold in some strange futuristic setting.
- If You like F-Zero but also Micro Machines and also F-Zero and Micro Machines together.
- Coming down from an adrenaline high after plucking a cyclops's eye out

What You Need- Anything that is like a computer, and the Nintendo Switch.

I sure hear a lot of people wanting F-Zero these days. However, it also seems Nintendo doesn't want to give anyone F-Zero either. It's almost like that game franchise is really hard to pick up and play and goes against a lot of Nintendo's design principles which is why they keep giving it to different dev teams rather than try to make a game for themselves. Why not? They have Mario Kart, why would you need any other racing game? ...Ahem! Well, there are many indie devs picking up the slack, and while they make good games I've decided to shine a light on this top down racing game with a simialr aestetic... that's kind of where the similarities end though?

The city of Ithaca is under attack by the dread Posiedon. As its king, Odysseus has killed one of his sons and he's none too pleased about it. As such Posiedon has basically forced Odysseus's wife Penelope to go searching for him in her race car. She's missing an arm and an eye but whatever man it's fine. Now it's time to go racing! If you've ever played a top down racer, it's basically like that. You'll find all the characters from the Odyssey with an emphasis on what little story Penelope got. That means you're racing your suitors like all the time. But you do get a few abilities to help you out. Missiles, mines, a way to hook enemy vehicles and a warp will get you through any and all dangers the game throws at you. Multiplayer's not going to set your life ablaze with it being kind of minigame-like in how it works, but you should get something out of it. It's online, it's local, it's LAN compatible... It's a cool little racing game! You can't go wrong with it.

Perfect For:
- Serious Anime Enthusiasts
- When you've played all the fighting games but not this one, and you're on the fence about it, I guess.
- Your waifu or husbando currently residing in the garbage can where they belong.

What You Need- An Arcade Machine, a PS3, or a PS4.

You ever hear of Super Cosplay Wars? It's this free fighting game that has a bunch of characters using copyrighted material to fight so you could never sell it in a million years. But it had three updates to it and a few modes, new characters, and the art style was wildly inconsistent, but that's because they had a bunch of different artists working on it and, again, it was free. There's a Rugal expy in there, and also a really buff Doraemon. It's weird, but what's even weirder is that the people that made this game would go on to make an actual studio and in turn create a fighting game that can be sold for money. That's what happens when you follow your dreams.

God, this story is all over the place. Basically, a new form of limitless energy is made and it seems humanity has hit an evolutionary dead end when someone makes a new better source of energy and leaves this "Chaos Code" for it so others can claim it. So that's what people are fighting over. The main government has hired an otaku to get this formula, a chef wants it to save his dying restaurant, there's a ninja, twins, someone in a bodysuit, and someone that can't wear pants ever. It's inconsequential, just like the olden days. What is important is the combo-centric game that it centers around. It has everything you need for a fighting game: Arcade, multiplayer in all its forms, mission mode, settings. It's all there centered around a solid fighting game. You can also break someone's guard, gain a Tactical Guard that allows you to counter someone for a free counter hit, and a way to cancel your supers. There is also Exceed Chaos that allows higher combo capability with any character for a limited time, after which the super bar gets locked. It's not going to set the world ablaze, but if you're in the market for a fighting game, this won't do you wrong. Besides, it has Cthulu's daughter... or I think it's his daughter. Is he aware of her if he's asleep? This game brings up a lot of questions...

Sushi! A Japanese dish that usually results in someone asking if they'll get sick eating it. Raw fish, rice, avocado for some reason, cream cheese for some other reason, fried... chicken... and you have sushi...? Fusion cuisine aside, there is an understandable love for sushi which is why there should be more than a few games made for it, including this puzzle game. It's not exactly... popular, but even if the online mode dies one hour after this post, you should still be able to play this game. Last I checked it shouldn't have DRM. Imagine DRM sushi. That's the worst.

In a world where sushi is an unlimited resource, it has been banned as a result of a war over it. The Empire controls it and the Republic gets none of it which is fair for the empire. Our protagonist, Musashi (who can be made a boy or a girl), runs into a Sushi Striker named Franklin who gives them a love for sushi, just before a really buff imperial guardsman beats them up and takes Franklin away. In this dark hour, Musashi finds a sushi shrine to a sushi sprite named Jinrai who decides to work with our protagonist and bring sushi to the world. With Jinrai's dulcet tones in hand the battle begins against the empire's plate throwing forces. As a Sushi Striker, both sides stand on opposite sides as conveyor belts roll out sushi: three for both strikers and one shared lane for the both of them. You have to eat sushi on the same colored plate to make a stack and then you can either throw it at your opponent or let it be taken off the table and auto thrown for you. Run the opponent out of their health points and you win. However it's not all that simple as any striker can have three sushi sprites that they can activate to fit their play style. One increases your attack, another will turn sushi into sweets to recover health. There's a bunch and each has a unique strategy to employ. There's not only that, but each sprite influences the sushi you have on your side and it changes over time as everything levels up meaning some sprites work better together than others. Combine that with a Sushi Jubilee that increases the damage you do and passives depending on what your favorite sushi is, and there's a lot of surprise depth with this one. There's multiplayer, and few other things, so it's a great puzzle game for anyone with a Nintendo console. And no you won't get sick playing it. Sushi is safe.

Well it is on Nintendo consoles exclusively. Maybe that's one of the reasons it didn't sell... :/

Anyway.

On the fourth day of December, my Schnauzer brought to me...

28 Flying Platforms: Dandara

Perfect For:
- Your distant friend who is sick of everyone using Norse mythology for their stories.
- Your brother that's five seconds off the world record for Super Metroid.
- Dandara, the Afro-Brazilian warrior that fought against slavery in Brazil.

What You Need- Phones, Computers, and the current generation of consoles.

Metroidvanias are pretty cool. They're everywhere these days, and people have begun to experiment with what these sorts of games can be. You collect items, go back and forth across different rooms, fight enemies and defeat bosses. Getting power-ups allows you more freedom and in turn more places to go until you beat the game. Some have made rougelikes, or made it so time can be manipulated, and some have made the bold choice of creating a game that sucks ass. But a metroidvania for phones? How would it work, who would make it, and would it be worth the hassle? Well, let this decide that for you.

The world of salt is in danger thanks to visionaries enslaving the free thinkers of the world. On the brink of oblivion, Dandara is awakened to set the world in the right direction. She'll do this mostly by jumping. You don't walk in Dandara, instead you aim towards a surface with salt on it and she will jump to it. She can also shoot energy from her hand towards enemies that aren't hindered in that way as she hops about, talking to people, getting power-ups, and making her way from room to room. It's that simple really, but Dandara manages to do this with a speed you might not have expected from it. You can go as fast or slow as you want and like all these types of games the dev team has made it with speedrunning in mind. Though it's not a requirement and you can play this game as you see fit. No matter how you want to enjoy this one, it's sure to tide you over while the next Metroidvania gets made. I know you can never have enough of those, right?

Perfect For:
- Your wine chugging aunt that liked only Ghostbusters 2 and none of the other ones.
- If Zombies Ate My Neighbors with a Kirby like mechanic gets you in the mood for clubbing.
- Anyone that's dreamed of crazy guns in their sleep.

What You Need- A Neo Geo Pocket Color

Happy Halloween in December! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The time is right and the planets are in alignment. The summoning was a success! It's time for the dead to walk the earth. Which means you have a job to do. Apartment 3F called in, a zombie's clogged her toilet and no one else is on call so you gotta take care of it. Make sure you call first so they know you're coming in. Make sure you bring the capture gun too, we're getting low on zombie souls. Okay, bye! While you're out enjoy this side game from a dead franchise by SNK.

Beast Busters are a title given to those that hunt monsters while the Dark Arms are the weapons used to fight said monsters. Got it? Good. Because your character has entered the realm of darkness for his Dark Arm and entered a deal with a purple skeleton and he's gonna make you do all the work for it! He gives you a Catcher, and tells you to find a seed and feed it. Simple enough, so let's go to the graveyard and take on some monsters! This top down shoot game centers on what else but capturing the souls of the enemies using the Catcher. There is a bit of counting required here, as only killing an enemy with the catcher will count and using any other weapon will just kill the enemy rather than capture the soul of it. As you go, you'll find these seeds scattered in stages, both growing and fully formed, for you to take. You feed these seeds with the souls you're capturing and they become weapons for you to use, and upgrade as you see fit while you pad out your arsenal. Of course, what you put into your guns determines their element and power so what you give is important while you keep in mind that you need to capture souls with one particular gun and no other. It's not super long, but then it is a handheld title. If you like top down shooters, leveling up and defeating skeletons that are on fire this game will do you well in the future, so long as you put the time in. Now here's your paycheck.

Perfect For:
- Your extended family who are all fans of Mean Girls or Heathers
- Someone who does not like micromanagment at their job but loves doing it at home.
- Anyone you send to the supply closet that hands you a lemon.

What You Need- A Computer.

The more esteemed a school is, the harder it can be to deal with everyone in it. There is a standard placed by the students there and may something up above save you if you break that standard. Cliques are unavoidable when you can't go home for the day and especially every clique is looking to sabotage the others. It can be a real problem, made worse if the adults tend not to care, or are on tenure so they won't risk anything for you. Of course, in real life no one would go too far with it. It's just unreasonable to do more than poke or gossip except in the most extreme of circumstances. Well, that's why we have video games, so everything can go off the deep end for the sole purpose of you having to solve it.

You have been made president of the Student Council by the principal of the most esteemed all-girls school in the country, a school that cares a whole lot about its reputation. You are not just meant to deal with the problems of students but also the reputation of the school as you will be made a scapegoat if things go pear-shaped. On top of all this, you are also told that a traitor is in the Student Council ready to work against you at the slightest provocation and bring down the whole school. Can YOU survive until graduation? That is exactly what Black Closet looks to throw upon you, the player. As the school year goes on, you will be handed various cases by concerned students and you have carte blanche to handle the case as you wish. You can send your members to guard students, interrogate suspicious types, search for clues in student's rooms, and you can choose to beat people up if you think it'll do anything. You can also suggest students get expelled or suspended, but that can entirely backfire. You see, no two cases are alike and you won't be able to tell where they'll end. One case of a stolen book could just be under the student's bed, while in another case it's was stolen by another student. You'll never know, and most of the game's difficulty is figuring out these mechanics and meshing out a solid strategy. That is on top of a traitor who can be any of your fellow members. You can interact with them to gain a closer connection, but you must also single out the traitor and depending on how you handle that you may be down a member for the rest of the game. It's not easy, and if you aren't careful you may not be able to get the best possible ending for yourself, let alone win. But that's the hallmark of a good simulation game. You just need to learn how everything can go horribly wrong.

Ahem, well... one could say that there are other ways to play those kinds of games.

Ahem!

On the seventh day of December, I made with my own hands...

25 Golems Swimming: Rune Factory: Tides of Destiny

Perfect For:
- Your co-worker who needs an epic adventure but can not afford to go on one.
- If Harvest Moon was a turn off because there's no combat in it.
- The Goblin Captain.

What You Need- The Wii or the PS3

Harvest Moon is a franchise that's kind of like that one picture of the Fallout Boy looking back at a gravestone. Ask someone in english, and they'll tell you it's either dead or forgotten but no, it's got a game on every generation of consoles, phones, and even the PSP. They just don't get the level of traction they used to thanks to... I guess the enthusiasts for this franchise stopped advertising for it. Meanwhile, however, there's also been a spin-off series-- this one being Rune Factory. Rather than being set in a modern-ish time, this one is set in a more fantasy setting and is centered on a mix of farming and combat rather than just farming. So, I kind of just... picked one at random. It's fine, right?

Aden and Sonja are two friends living on Fenith Island. That is until they get cursed, moving them to a new place also called Fenith Island and also they now share Aden's body. They take residence in the local inn and find a seed that they decide to plant. This seed turns into a golem that the two name Ymir. They end up taking the golem to an island with monsters on it, learn combat, and from there the adventure into finding where they are and how to fix this predicament begins! Like every other Rune Factory game, this one is a mix of farming and fighting, though this one is less about the former than the others. In this game you tame monsters to do your farming for you on various islands. As you progress you will get more land to farm and more ingredients for your personal use. The golem, thankfully, can teleport you around to the other islands instantaneously once you find them. However, you must still go around the seas on your golem to find stuff, on top of establishing friendships with the other villagers. You have to use your time wisely as it will carry on without you and certain events play out on certain days. You'll farm, fish, mine, and defeat monsters as you go long after the story completes itself up until you have nothing to do. If that sounds like a game right up your alley, then give Rune Factory a try. Also, maybe see if that Harvest Moon game on the Switch is any good. Just try a whole bunch of new games. It's fun to find new games.

Played and loved RF 3 and 4, but haven't touched that one yet because I'd have to play it on a "real" Wii, which got more annoying recently, or deal with playing on PS3, and the consensus seemed to be that it was the weakest of the series. Still, any of them are probably worth checking out if you liked Stardew.

Perfect For:
- The waitress that enjoys soccer and you need a good conversation starter.
- When you've had enough of EA's lootboxes on FIFA games
- If you hate fire a whole lot.

What You Need- Computers, and the PS4

Freedom is subjective. Sports games are also subjective. There are official rules organizations use, but anyone can make up their rules. Flag football, tee ball, trying to make Monopoly a game worth playing, there are many variations on the tried and true. Evolution is only natural, especially during those times in history where criminals were made to entertain the people on threat of death. Usually, it was just gladiator games (and it was actually very rare for people to die in these games, for the record), but there have been variations. So what's wrong with having a combination of soccer and rugby? Also have everyone wear masks and stuff.

You were once a member of the commonwealth until you ruined everything by learning to read. As such you are thrown into the downside where some exiles find you, then get you to read for them. You learn quickly that to get out someone has to win enough rites to free one person. To win rites, you take the celestial orb dropped onto the field and dunk it into the opposing team's pyre until it goes out. Your goal? To overthrow society by making friends and winning games, of course. You'll teach them... because you know how to read and most of them don't. So, Pyre. It's basically a mix of the old Captain Tsubasa games in the sense that you're playing a simplified version of soccer, controlling a single player as you unleash skills and pass the handegg about in order to ensure it goes into the goal by any means. Naturally this means the other team has to try stopping you and that causes a whole mess of problems. But this is only half of the game as you still have to know your teammates. You need them to open up to you, much like one can in visual novels and the like. You'll learn more about them and in turn they will be more helpful to you. On top of that, because you're the only one that can read, you get ALLLL the lore and stuff. Supergiant Games nails that colorful yet depressing undertone and as such, you'll care a lot more about these prisoners by the end of it and you may even feel bad about letting them go. The two halves work well together and although you may have heard of this one, Pyre did get swamped by a stellar year of games. So here's your reminder that it exists and you should look for it again. It won't hurt. Much.