I saw a little kidAs he walked aroundHe picked a candy bar upOff the groundHe chowed about a halfThen his face turned blueTurned out that candy bar was doggy-dooDon't pick it up I sayUnless you can throw it awayDon't pick it up I sayYou're gonna be bummed that you went that wayYou're out there makin' baconNo scrutinyYou mess around too muchAnd you got vdYou know you never thinkAnd you're sore todayYou're gonna take it back to CaliforniaDon't pick it up I sayUnless you can throw it awayDon't pick it up I sayYou're gonna be bummed that you went that wayMy friend was kinda hurtin'For a girl to tryHe saw one that looked like PatOn Saturday Night LiveIt had a pair of thingiesBut a mustache tooNot clearly male nor femaleSo now what to doDon't pick it up I sayUnless you can throw it awayDon't pick it up I sayYou're gonna be bummed that you went that way