What It's Like To Be Eliminated On The First Night of The Bachelor

26-year-old TV host Jessica Carroll was looking for love on this year's Bachelor — with high hopes, and high expectations. She thought she and Arie were meant to be! "I went into the experience thinking that I would make it far and get lots of roses," she told Cosmopolitan.com, adding that you have to have that self-confidence to put yourself out there. (Which is true.) But even after a heartfelt convo with her leading man, and a "gratitude rock" she'd gifted him, Carroll found herself rose-less on the show's first night, before her love story had even begun, basically. So she has a different story to tell now.

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This is what it's like to get eliminated from The Bachelor at the very first rose ceremony, and how to bounce back.

I'm at the age where a lot of my friends are getting engaged and married. I'm very career-driven, and I felt like I needed to escape reality and all the distractions [in my work life]. I thought to myself, 'You know what, I think I'm going to take the time to just really invest in love.’ And that led me to The Bachelor!

I only got cast a few weeks before I actually had to pack up and leave for the show. But when I [was going through the audition process] and filling out all the paperwork, ABC still hadn't announced The Bachelor was. In my head, I thought it was Peter — and then when I found out it was Arie, it was like, 'you know what, this is just kind of a sign that I'm meant to do this.'

As you know [from the show], my father, who has sadly passed away, had actually met Arie — years back, before he was even on The Bachelorette. My dad collected vintage cars, and he met him at a car auction. So when Arie went on The Bachelorette, of course my Dad was rooting for him. And I remember he'd really liked Arie, and thought he came from a great family, and all that stuff.

Honestly, packing for the show was the most stressful part. You have to bring everything, but you have fit it all into two suitcases, because that's the limit [the producers] tell you. But I think some girls did bring more. And because I obviously didn’t make it very far [on the show], I bought way too much stuff. I still have boxes of makeup and foundation that I haven't even opened yet. That’s one bonus, I guess — I’m stocked up on makeup and gowns for a while!

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"I still have boxes of makeup and foundation that I haven't even opened yet. That’s one bonus, I guess — I’m stocked up on makeup and gowns for a while!"

Because the casting process happened so fast, I didn't really tell anyone about it. The only two people I did tell [when I left for the show] were my mom and my brother. And literally, the moment I told my brother — who’s a professional hockey player — he was like, 'Jessica. You better represent the Carroll name, and you better make smart decisions.'

So when the cast was announced, that's when all my extended family and friends reached out. They were all rooting for me; [so many people] were saying, 'Oh, we know you're gonna win,' or, 'who knows, you could be engaged right now!' It was nice to have so much support but at the same time obviously I knew the outcome, and I felt like I was going to disappoint everyone.

On the day filming starts, there's tons of emotions going on. I mean, it's a day you’ve been waiting for [for weeks]. I don't normally get nervous, but when I was in that limo and it pulled up at the mansion and I saw Arie for the first time, oh man. My heart was racing. My palms were getting sweaty. I was just like, 'OK Jess, don't fuck this up. Be strong, be confident; this is what you're here for…'

I can only speak for me [and the girls in] my limo, but we had a great support system going on — we were all talking about Arie, and what we knew about him, and what we thought of his suit. I don't think that we looked at each other as like competition as much as like, 'Oh! This is exciting! I get to spend the next few weeks with these cool girls.' For me, having the other girls there helped calmed my nerves.

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I don't even think I saw the cameras until I walked into the mansion. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention to them because I was so focused on meeting Arie! Once I got inside, I was just excited to finally meet all the other girls. And then… you just kind of sit around. There’s only one Arie and there's 28 of us. The majority of the night, you're just bonding and hanging out.

ABC

I talked to Arie early on, which I thought was good, because then I felt like I could relax for the rest of the night. We were outside by a fireplace, but it was freezing. So we sat down and he was like, 'Oh are you cold?' and he took off his jacket and put it around my shoulders, which was so sweet. But then the camera guys cut in: 'Wait! Hold a second! It's interfering with the mic! Restart, and you have to put your jacket back on.'

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I spent about 10 minutes with him; he was very sweet and I felt like we really did connect. He seemed very genuine. It was a good conversation, I thought. I wouldn't say I was actually planning on diving right there [and talking about my Dad] first night, but Arie kept asking questions about my family and one thing led to the other. I guess I just got caught up in the moment.

I didn’t feel like he wasn't prompting me in any way, though. When I had gotten out of the limo I gave him a Rose Quartz gratitude rock — that's the stone that represents unconditional love, which is the love I want to find in my life partner. So he asked, 'So what's the story behind this rock?' I explained that I was very obviously grateful for this whole experience, and that the reason I collect gratitude rocks is because my Dad passed this tradition down to me.

When I was a little girl, my dad gave me these rocks that he'd collected from his travels around the world with my mom. He'd always have me put them in my backpack, or my dance bag, and whenever I’d stumble across them I would pause for a minute and reflect on what I’m grateful for. And so we called them gratitude rocks.

Today, whenever I stumble across one of my gratitude rocks, the first thing I think about is my Dad because he will always be the first man I ever loved — and I'll always be grateful for all the amazing memories we shared together. Since his passing it’s a little tradition of his I have kept alive.

ABC

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You know, if the opportunity arose, I would've totally taken the opportunity to talk to Arie again. But I also wanted every girl to talk to him — [as the night wore on] a lot of the girls were getting nervous that they might not even get time with him. I would've felt guilty talking to him twice, but you know, if I saw him sitting by himself or anything like that obviously I would've gone up to him.

So [at some point in the night] Chris Harrison comes out, puts down the first impression rose, and then Arie grabs it and that's when… tension. In a word, tension. Everyone is looking around the room thinking, 'who's gonna get it?' And then whoever he hands it to, it's like, 'OK but why did she get it? What did she do? What were they talking about?'

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And then [the producers] announce, ‘hey it's now time for the ceremony,’ that brings you back to thinking, 'Oh yeah, I’m on The Bachelor.' And then, for the first time that night, I was thinking, 'holy shit, I better get a rose.'

"For the first time that night, I was thinking, 'holy shit, I better get a rose.'"

The rose ceremony felt like it took forever. There's no clock, so I couldn't even really tell you how long it took, but for me it felt like a long long long long time. Going into the experience, I was thinking that I would make it far and get roses. So I was just, ugh, I was just waiting for Arie to call my name and then when he didn't… I was winded.

I was shocked. Crushed. Especially after opening up so much to Arie, and on national television, it was definitely a really hard situation to live through, and it was really tough to re-watch. I just wanted to get out of there. I wasn't mad at anyone, I was just bummed. I forget what he even said to me when I hugged him goodbye to be honest.

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ABC

After the rose ceremony ends, [the producers] film farewell interview with the girls who are going home. And then we all got on this bus, tears running down our faces, and the bus takes you either back to the hotel or, for girls who are catching flights, to LAX. They're forced to fly home the next day.

But on that bus ride, all the girls who left night one, we really bonded! I don't know what [it was like on previous seasons] but we all agreed to keep in touch! I mean, we’d all been through this really shitty situation together. And, the first night [at the mansion] you literally are there until sunrise. So when we were driving back in the bus, we hit LA morning traffic! The bus ride was longer than expected because of that, I think, so it gave us this chunk of time to really connect and get to know each other.

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"That's why I don't regret doing 'The Bachelor' at all — I went in looking for a certain kind of love but I left with loving friendships instead."

And those six other girls really helped me get through the next few months. We still have a group chat, and it's a lit group chat. That's why I don't regret doing The Bachelor at all — I went in looking for a certain kind of love but I left with loving friendships instead. We've since now created this platform called The Rosé Girls, and every Monday we put out a new YouTube video where we do sit-down interviews with females who have also, you know, fallen down for a moment and how they bounce back and how they celebrate their victories.

We’re encouraging other people to be resilient. Because everyone deals with challenge, rejection, failure, whatever it is — you have to have ways to bounce back, and I think having a great support system helps.

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