Why “If it’s meant to be, it will be” is ridiculous

We hear it all the time, “Don’t worry! If it is meant to be, it will be!” It is such a nice thought. It gives us hope in dark times and supports our decisions when they seem too radical. But what does it actually mean? That if something is meant to happen, it is fate and everything will just fall seamlessly into place?

I have been extremely fortunate in my life. I have two very loving parents, a wonderful sister, incredible family. I have been very blessed to get to travel often and abundantly. I have known love. I have worked some incredible jobs and viewed extraordinary places. Some of that was a situation that may be fate, but it all involved an incredible amount of work. The opportunity may be fate, what you make of it is not.

It was possibly fate for me to see a Facebook post from one of my friends who was working as a Tour Guide. It was an incredible amount of work to quit my job, complete training, and work as a tour leader across the country. It was possibly fate to run a tour last summer and meet one of my favorite people. But it has taken effort to maintain a transcontinental friendship. It was possibly fate for me to have seen a job posting for Glacier National Park Conservancy. It was a huge amount of work to sell my house, buy a trailer, get to Montana, get the job, and work at a high energy level for several months.

It was possibly fate, but more likely, it was recognition of an opportunity and hard work to make something wonderful happen.

By claiming it is fate, we almost diminish the amount of work we put forward to make something happen. We are saying that this same outcome would have happened no matter how hard we try. We are saying, we don’t even need to try because fate will work itself out. But that doesn’t feel right to me.

We also close ourselves off to possibilities because fate hasn’t led an opportunity to fall into our laps. We are saying that because fate hasn’t allowed us to win the lottery we can never be insanely wealthy. We are saying that because fate hasn’t delivered the perfect job to us that we must power through in a job we hate. When, in reality, we create our own opportunities for a better job, a better situation, a better life. We are completely capable of making something amazing happen.

If fate hasn’t created your perfect “meant to be” situation, stop waiting. Create your own opportunities and live the life you want.