9 Bold and Fearless Tips to Color Your World

There was no time for fear when I was growing up. My nine siblings and I, worked on our 80 acre produce farm, three seasons of every year, until we left home. We worked every evening, every day we weren't in school, and every weekend.

School work and time for study was secondary. Academically I slid by. I didn't fail but I could barely maintain above average grades. There was no discussion of college with this farm girl.

I was a teenage mom and the mother of four daughters in my early twenties. We took our family to church every Sunday because it gave Hubs and I a two hour break while the girls attended Sunday school.

Even though I never played a sport in my life, I joined the church softball team and felt a part of something outside of motherhood. Father Don, the priest, was young, hot, and helped coach the team.

He was also insightful and philosophical. The experience was fun and enlightening. It was my only social outlet.

Don, (as he liked to be called), suggested that I attend college part-time when the twins began kindergarten. I laughed because I didn't think I was smart enough. He insisted. I was terrified.

He decided to drive me to the campus and show me around. He helped me to sign up for two classes, "speed reading" and how to study. Smart man!

Nine and a half years later I graduated. I never took more than two or three classes a semester. I would go to class during the day and leave a list of chores for the girls to do when they arrived home from school on the bus. One of the chores was to get dinner start. It was a lot of responsibility for young children. I studied after they were in bed at night.

I loved learning. You could say I was, "hungry." I continued on for my master's degree in counseling psychology.

I was blessed to have Hubs support, Don's faith in me, and the girls commitment to help out.

As you know, life is full of uncertainty. You need to have more faith than fear, more persistence than doubt, and the help and support of family and friends to reach your goals.In the end, this is what makes for a colorful and meaningful life.

Read on for 9 tips to live bold and fearless:

If we can let go of our own fear we can remove fear from the world. ~ Unknown

You are not your fear. It’s not even a part of you. Fear is a story, an illusion, an emotion. Mentally see fear as separate from yourself. Don’t identify yourself with fear. Don’t label yourself a fearful person. Instead, examine the emotion, the story, the illusion. Upon examination, notice how it is separate from you and witness it lose it’s power.

Fear lies. Don’t believe your fear. When you know you’re not in any kind of danger, do the opposite of what fear tells you to do. If fear says, ”Don’t go to the party, nobody will notice you.” Go anyway. When fear says, “Don’t ask for help. The answer will probably be no.” Ask anyway. Do what fear doesn’t want you to do. You are good enough. You are smart enough. Begin where you are!

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. ~Les Brown

Talk to your fear. Ask fear what it wants. Does it have something to teach you? Does it have a message for you? Next tell fear that you're in charge. You're the leader. Tell your fear to get in the backseat. Put yourself in the front seat. Lead with faith, not fear.

Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive —
the risk to be alive and express what we really are. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Say yes to life. Be open to possibility. Say yes to going with the flow. Say yes to a new perspective. Say yes to responsibility. Say yes to the challenge. Say yes to risk. Say yes to new and different. Say yes to your dreams. Yes to creating passion, and purpose. Say yes to new things, new people, and new places. Say yes to love!

Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom. ~Mary Ferguson

Zigzag through life. The road to happiness and success isn’t a straight line. Things go wrong, plans change, stuff happens, people die. Anytime you are off track, take the time to regroup and get back in the saddle again.

Start a huge, foolish project like Noah. It makes absolutely no difference what people think of you.
~ Rumi

Relax out of fear. Use guided meditation to relax your body. When your body is relaxed, your mind will relax as well. You cannot be totally relaxed and fearful at the same time. Learn to breathe properly. Breathe your way out of your fear.

Go back a little to leap further. ~ John Clarke

Resist hesitancy. Make up your mind to change and take action. If you have a drinking problem, attend A.A. If you want to lose weight, join Weight Watchers. If you want to become a professional speaker, join Toastmasters. Don’t hesitate. Some of the most kind and friendly people in the world are a part of these organizations. You have more power than you can ever imagine. Begin now.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. ~ E Hubbard

Let go of the end result. Learn to do your best and let the rest go. You can't know, see or do everything. Put your best effort into every area of your life. Do what needs to be done and surrender the rest. Let go of control. Breathe. Your Higher Power, God, or the Universe will take care of the rest.

"Fearless" is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. ~Taylor Swift

Surround yourself with the best. Look for wise mentors. Choose loving friends. Enroll in the best seminars. Read one book a week. Eat healthy food. Do yoga. Fear can't blossom in a positive environment.

I love hearing the story of when you were a young mom. You were such a hard worker and survivor. You must have been very organized! The tip – “Zigzag through life” jumped out at me. So true. Life has it’s ups and downs, but the downs make us strong and teach us that we can survive and go on, with good times to look forward to. Thanks for sharing a great post.

Tess,
I love Weight Watchers and Toastmasters. Thanks for sharing your story. Father Don deserves a huge ‘thank you’ for his work and willingness to go with you and support you. The sentence that grabbed me is, ‘Talk to your fear.’ Interesting concept.
Namaste,
Karen

It took me a while to learn the lesson: You are not your fear (or any other emotion). It’s funny that, in the English language, we say that “I am happy, sad, fearful….” (identifying with the emotion/feeling) but in most other languages, the literal interpretation is “I have happiness, sadness, hot, cold…” (as if we can let it go at any time).

Other big lessons I’ve learned that you cover: Do what feels good and don’t worry about what others think – actually, just don’t worry.

Two years ago I never would have imagined myself creating my own online business. When I decided to do it, I didn’t know how but I persisted by learning as much as I could and applying that knowledge along the way. I’ve made plenty of mistakes which I learn from. I continue to do all that every day. The more I’ve accomplished, the easier it gets and the more I want to do.

I’ve also learned that bigger success and more happiness comes when we can open ourselves to others and reveal who we truly are. It’s been the hardest lesson to apply and has happened in baby steps over time but it has brought me more opportunities and happiness.

This post spoke to me in so many different ways. I like this idea in particular: “Don’t label yourself a fearful person.” At the same time, I’m OK with the idea that “I feel fear sometimes, but it’s not the real me.” I also love the idea of bringing “color” into our life. I tend to go for black…. 🙂 Bring on the rainbow!

You are the most awesome ninja fear warrior! I love your take no prisoners approach to fear. I always get a boost from it. Your colorful post title made me think of SARK’s books–do you know them? She writes them in colored markers. And by the way, what a great role model for your kids to go back to school and graduate.

Tess,
You continue to be such an inspiration to me! Your approach to fear gets me all fired up – no excuses, just keep moving and keep doing and keep pushing through it. I love that about you – it’s starting to rub off onto me. 🙂

I loved this post Tess! We can learn so much by what you have to say! How wonderful to have Father Don as your mentor. The girls took on responsibility which is never a bad thing for kids. And lastly your husband’s support is crucial!! I love your tips especially “Let go of the end result”. I think I get up with thinking too much about what the end will be. But all your tips are good reminders! Thanks!!

Very good read Tess, I particularly liked the use of colour in this article. Unique and it ensures that the writing stands out!

As you said in Point 3, we must listen to our fear. Fear is there for a reason – it’s trying to tell us something? What is it trying to tell us? If it’s there to warn us against something, is that something likely to happen or is it just us reliving something from the past?

Understanding fear is crucial to overcoming it. We are all different, and so there is a different method for all of us, but there will be a method that works 🙂

This was very inspirational! I love that you persevered, and I agree 100 percent that you set a great example for your kids by going back to school. Makes my struggles seem so small I ought to be able to get past them!

NancyMay 25, 2012, 12:04 pm

I read on a blog somewhere about “fear/joy” and I have adopted that phrase in my life. I recently began taking tango lessons in my mid 40s! I enjoy learning new things and believe that is how we grow and expand our world. Walking on the dance floor is facing fear, but after remembering what I learned and executing it, I am filled with joy! Hearing the music, easing the mind, connecting with another human being, relaxing the body, moving in unison, creating a rhythm, having such a sensual experience…pure happiness! 🙂 I try to apply this way of thinking to other areas in my life and it has worked well for me. If you can get just bring yourself to get past that .01% fear, you can experience 99.9% joy! I mean to keep things in perspective…fear is not so big, it only seems that way. You are quite an inspiration! Thank you.

Wow, Tess, thanks so much for sharing your story! It’s really inspirational.
I love the quotes by Rumi and John Clarke – terrific! And your point about zig-zagging through life is wonderful. That is a huge part of being a resilient person – the ability to be flexible in life.

George MackieMay 26, 2012, 3:31 am

Life is full of up’s and down’s otherwise there is no fun in anyone’s life….

Heidi19May 30, 2012, 10:12 am

Living a colorless life is like living in death.. It’s like you are living in a meaningless life.. We should always be in a positive way, look our future in a more colorful life..Live life in the fullest! And enjoy everything you have..

TessMay 30, 2012, 10:41 am

heidi I agree and I want to live life like no other. Thanks for joining me.