Sunday, August 27, 2006

Jeff Miller: Independant Man

I'm having the best week of my life.

I feel guilty, actually, for a couple of reasons. I wouldn't be having half as much fun if it wasn't for Arthur. I'm underage and don't have much cash and the festival's more expensive than you'd think. The whole reason the beer's free--sure hope he don't get in trouble for this--is because of this blog and I've been ignoring it the last few days. Well, that's not completely true. I erased a couple thing I wrote, 'cus I was drunk when I wrote them and it didn't make much sense and some of what I wrote was a bit embarrassing and personal.

So, what's this festival all about for me? I'll be honest: it's an escape from home. I'm starting college in a few weeks far from home and Pop sent me out here to 'clear my head'. His words, not mine. My head's pretty clear. Or at least I thought it was. The old man's clever in his own way. I did need some time away the family. The arguments with Steven were driving me crazy and Nee

Shit. I miss them. Which is the other reason I feel guilty. I shouldn't be having fun when they're still back home and

This isn't what I want to write about. The festival. I don't think I've ever drank this much before. Sure, parties down by the Quay back home or out in the bush and after a game... it's not like I've never been drunk before. But not like this! It's been almost a week of steady drinking, here in the cabin with some of the guys who've shown up or out at the festival with this gang I met or even down by the lake at night.

Some of the guys here are starting to piss me off. Yeah sure, they seem like nice enough people and all but they're all older than me and they kinda treat me like a kid. I might only be eighteen but dammit, I've never felt like a kid and I wish they'd stop treating me like one. Even if I only had my first beer two years ago doesn't mean I can't hold my own. Bet I could drink them under the table, even! It's not like I'm a small guy or anything. But it's not just that. I've practically raised my brothers and sister alone and I've been bringing in money for the family and I'll be damned if anyone's going to treat me like a kid anymore.

I came out here to be independant, you know? And yeah, sure, I can't buy my own beer but what the hell does that mean? I'm an adult now. I'm an adult now. Finally.

Freedom. There you go Arthur: that's what this festival really means to me.