Saturday, February 28, 2015

Your Will for Me

God knows. Whatever it is you're going through, wherever you are at in your life, He knows.
I've had a packed schedule these past few weeks. Even when I'd feel my spirit tug at me to spend time with my Savior, I just kept going on with my own strength. Next week will be my first official week in my new position at my job. I've been feeling very restless because of this. Is this what God wants me to do? Is this where God wants me to be? Does He see me right now? Did He make this happen or did I just do this on my own strength? Can I do this? Am I too young? What if I fail? On top of all this doubt, I started getting a horrible migraine a couple days ago. I woke up this morning in tears because it was so painful, and nothing was helping. No medicine, no amount of rest was helping the pain. I was feeling pretty bummed because I was supposed to go out with a friend, but that friend reached out to me in the morning saying she was not feeling well either. I was feeling horrible AND my plans got cancelled. If that isn't a sign to stay home and just stop going going going for a second, I don't know what is.I woke up with the following lyrics in my head this morning: "What can make me white as snow, what can make me white as snow." I finally listened to the tugging of my spirit and fell into God's arms today. I ran to Him today. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me of any transgressions I needed to repent of, and I repented. I thanked Him for His mercy. I felt Him reassure me that it is no accident, where I'm currently at in my life. He knew me BEFORE he formed me in my mother's womb. It was silly of me to think that I somehow got to where I am on my own. My feelings of self doubt were draining me and God restored me. When Jeremiah felt afraid and unprepared what did God tell him? "I am with you to deliver you." And when Moses felt afraid and unprepared what did God tell him? "But I will be with you." -- "Who made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak."
Jesus made me clean today. He is the fire that burns but does not consume. Everything else in this world burns, and destroys. God burns, yet gives life. My feelings of inadequacy are not uncommon. Even Moses and Jeremiah felt inadequate. But the principle of the matter is that God is the one that appointed them. They did not do what they did on their own, they were appointed by the great I AM. Bigger picture. We always tend to focus on the microcosm that is OUR lives, when we need look at the Macro: God's plan. God is with me. God is with you. You're not where you are by accident, or by your own strength. He knew you before you were formed in the womb, think about that for a second. Your life is not by accident. Run to Him. His arms are spread wide. He wants to catch you. Fall into His arms. He's got you and He'll lead you every step of the way. Just run to Him.