Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

At 0:04, we can see a hand that is later revealed to be Rey’s. But she’s making some sort of gesture with her hand. Is it a Jedi gesture? Is it part of her training? The screen then cuts to black. Is this symbolic of Rey’s death? How does Boba Fett fit into this?

At 0:10, we see a rock. Is it a space rock? Does it contain magic? Could it possibly be a Khyber crystal used in the construction of lightsabers? Or is it just a rock?

At 0:15 OMIGOD IT’S LUKE! LUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE!

Okay, that’s enough.

Everyone else on the innertubes got to do one.

All the more reason for you not to.

That’s not how you win the content game.

Let’s not play the content game. It’s a lovely poster.

What do you think the red symbolizes?

Stop that.

Okay. May I point out that Chewbacca wasn’t in the trailer?

Please.

They fucked Chewie again. He doesn’t get a medal in Star Wars, he doesn’t get a coat in Empire, he doesn’t get a hug from Leia in Force Awakens, and now he doesn’t get to be in the trailer. All the humans are in the trailer. Cute little droid is in the trailer. Racist bullshit.

Well said, I think.

I would also now like to issue a harangue to Star Wars.

Yeah, whatever.

Dear Star Wars,

Remember how you made the last one all gritty and miserable and sweaty and rainy? Don’t do that. Also, please do not kill every character at the end. Especially Chewie.

More nudity.

Just don’t make it anything like Rogue One is all I’m saying.

Sincerely,
TotD

That was helpful.

Thank you. And now Thoughts on the Dead presents Ways Star Wars Is Going To Explain Carrie Fisher’s Death:

A random Resistance officer will run in the room and yell, “General Organa fell down the stairs!”