Douchebag of the Day – Michael Heick of East Amherst, New York

“Bomb Making Next Driveway” reads the sign that Michael Heick of East Amherst, New York placed on his lawn in reference to the Jaffarya Islamic Center of Niagara Frontier, which was recently built next door to his home. Mr. Heick claims that the Islamic Center violates town codes and that “the place is too close” and apparently too bright for his tastes.

Heick’s complaint stems from the fact that the mosque’s lights shine into Mr. Heick’s yard. Mr. Heick, therefore, asked the Mosque to build a wall six feet high to block the lights but the Mosque explained that that would not be cost effective and instead planted a hedge that will eventually grow to block the lights.

Mr. Heick was shocked! Why would they not build a solid, strong, impenetrable wall and instead build a weak, flimsy, easy-to-obliterate, pansy-wansy hedge? That’s it! They must be building BOMBS over there!!!

Quick! To the crazy-mobile! Within moments of sniffing spray paint, Mr. Heick had his sign ready: “BOMB MAKING NEXT DRIVEWAY”.

Whew! Now everyone within the potential blast radius would know. As Mr. Heick explains, his “intent was to catch the eye of the people who I have a problem with.”

Wait… what?

He wanted to “catch the eye of the people who I have a problem with”? But don’t they already know their making bombs?

Well, anyway, at least the folks in the vicinity know exactly where these bombs are being produced. As Heick points out, “It does not say what driveway. It doesn’t say at the mosque.”

Ju… Wha…? But it says “Next Driveway”. Doesn’t next mean “the one following after the current one?”

Whatever, the point is we now know officially who these guys are because this sign has done us a great service and directly pointed them out for us. Right, Mr. Heick?

“I have issues with the mosque. The sign is not directed at anybody. If they feel it’s at them, that’s how they feel.”