Journalist 1: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up! [Shouting at a
joystick] 'Ello, Mister Dodo Drone! I've got a lovely fresh IRGC [Iranian
Revolutionary Guards Corps] target for you if you just show ...

[Thumps joystick on the CIA spook's lectern. Throws it up in the air and
watches it plummet to the floor.]

Journalist 1: Now that's what I call a dead drone.

CIA spook: No, no ... No, it's stunned!

Journalist 1: STUNNED?!?

CIA spook: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was wakin' up! RQ-170s stun easily.

Journalist 1: Um ... now look, buddy, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That
drone is definitely deceased, and when you guys issued a press statement a
while ago, you assured us all that its total lack of movement was due to it
bein' tired because of its prolonged secret mission.

CIA spook: There is no indication, I repeat, no indication, that Iran shot it
down.

Journalist 1: But you're missing a drone. It was on a secret mission. It
crash-landed in Iran. And Iran says they shot the bloody thing down.

Journalist 1: NEVADA DESERT?!?!?!? What kind of crap is that? Look, why did it
fall flat on its back in Iran, of all places? By now the Revolutionary Guards
must be throwing a party to the Russians, the Chinese, the Pakistanis, the
North Koreans for God's sake, so everyone can rip your technology apart, for a
price ...

Journalist 1: Look, the IRNA news agency took the liberty of examining that
drone after it crash-landed, they discovered that, yes, it was nailed to the
soil of eastern Iran. [Pause]

CIA spook: Well, o'course we nailed it over there! If we hadn't nailed that
drone down, it would have flown away and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Journalist 1: "VOOM"?!? Buddy, this drone wouldn't "voom" if you sent the Navy
SEALS Team Six to give it an electric shock. It's bleedin' demised!

CIA spook: No no! It's a trick! It's a top-secret counter-insurgency trick to
fool the enemy!

Journalist 1: It's not a bloody trick! It's passed on! This drone is no more!
It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its industrial-military
complex maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace in a Shi'ite
paradise! Its metabolic processes are now history! It's off the twig! It's
kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and
joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-DRONE!! [Pause]