I found it really demoralizing and experienced a lot of fatshaming in the process, which is so not what should be happening when you are gaining weight during pregnancy!

My MIL totally fat-shamed me when I told her I put on 40 pounds with my first pregnancy and 20 pounds during the first 20 weeks (she told me not to put on any more weight at that point!). She was such a bisque and would not shut up about it and was even asking if I'd lost all the weight a year later. Then when I was pregnant with Raygold, she asked about my weight every time she phoned. (That's partly why she doesn't know I'm pregnant now.)

On the other hand, I had a bit of skinny-shaming during my last pregnancy. Not this time, but last time, this one midwife in particular seemed to think that I didn't eat nearly enough and kept telling me to eat and was just generally being weird (I said I didn't want butter on my toast (after giving birth)) like I had some kind of eating disorder or something (meanwhile, I couldn't even get my fat jeans over my knees until at least 8 weeks after giving birth, so it's not like I was about to win the Posh Spice skinny in pregnancy award or anything).I mean, I've had midwives encourage me to eat and such before. It's just this one lady was so weird about it.

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 amPosts: 8123Location: United States of New England

in the US in general if you have a regular OB and are going to a regular hospital, at every prenatal apt they weigh you, make you pee in a cup to test for protein/sugar in your pee, and they take your blood pressure.they also usually measure your stomach. I cant remember if they did that all along or just starting at a certain point.

I don't know if they do the same thing with midwives or birthing centers.

I was so small through most of my pregnancy I actually wanted to see what I weighed on their scale. I was definitely experiencing "skinny shaming" at work and it gave me rampant paranoia. thankfully my dr always reassured me I was totally fine and measured on time.(until the last few weeks of course after my own dr went on maternity leave and ive been on "too skinny" watch :-P)

I know ive read in books that people who have struggled with eating disorders or really don't want to concentrate on the scale you can like turn around and not look at the scale or ask them not to tell you what you weigh. they can just tell you if you are on track.

sounds like you can refuse out right too based on what people are saying. I guess technically they cant make you do anything! it's your baby and your body!

Mandycoot that's so cool you are doing a home birth with a midwife. my husband and all 3 of his siblings were all born at home. my MIL is like WAAAAAY into all that stuff.I had never even heard of "home birth" til I asked my husband what hospital he was born in and he was like "uhhhhh I wasn't born in a hospital" and I was like WAT?

home birth is not for me personally but I think it's so cool that other people really embrace it.

I was weighed and had to produce a urine sample at every prenatal visit also. Every visit I was either reminded that I might not want to be gaining weight so quickly or gently chastised that I might want to eat a little more because I wasn't gaining any weight...it was kind of ridiculous. I ended up gaining too much weight in my opinion - 50lbs, most of it was in my first trimester when I ate crackers and ginger-ale 24/7 to keep my nausea under control. I am hoping to stay closer to the recommended 30lbs for my next pregnancy!

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 amPosts: 8123Location: United States of New England

TheCrabbyCrafter wrote:

Ariann wrote:

I found it really demoralizing and experienced a lot of fatshaming in the process, which is so not what should be happening when you are gaining weight during pregnancy!

On the other hand, I had a bit of skinny-shaming during my last pregnancy. Not this time, but last time, this one midwife in particular seemed to think that I didn't eat nearly enough and kept telling me to eat and was just generally being weird (I said I didn't want butter on my toast (after giving birth)) like I had some kind of eating disorder or something (meanwhile, I couldn't even get my fat jeans over my knees until at least 8 weeks after giving birth, so it's not like I was about to win the Posh Spice skinny in pregnancy award or anything).

the dude dr I saw for a few weeks made me feel like he was suspicious of me although he never said anything outright.

he would ask me weird leading questions like "so do we think we're big enough?" or something like that leading me to think he thought I was like dieting or small on purpose or something.I was just like "I dunno this is my first pregnancy, you're the dr, you tell me"

I even asked him if I should start eating more if that would help and he said no :-P

you would think OBs know babies and pregnant ladies come in all shapes and sizes!

I weigh myself and check my urine at every midwife appointment. They also don't make a big deal out of anything. The only thing they might say something about is if I got close to going over 40 lb since gaining over 40 lb risks you out of using the birthing center at the hospital were using.

Actually, at my appointment today I totally forgot to check my urine. I peed in the cup, put the little strip in, weighed myself, dumped out the cup, cleaned up, told the midwife it was fine when.she asked, then realized when I left that I never looked. Ha. I'm really losing it lately.

I would definitely have been someone who wouldn't want to know my own weight gain, so I'm pleased it doesn't seem to be standard here for midwives to check up on that. I had to do the protein/sugar urine test thing at each appointment from ~six months [I think] and my midwife asked a few times if I'd checked my weight [they had scales in the bathroom] but I never did. She did the fundal height measurement from about 24 weeks I think so there was that for checking growth, however accurate it is...

She did say once we got over 41 weeks and couldn't go to the birthing centre, that I should weigh myself before going into the hospital to deliver so that if it came down to me needing an epidural they would be able to calculate the dose... I never did though [because I forgot] but I also figured they could weigh me there if they needed to.

Here, they do pee and BP at every check-up, and starting at about 28 weeks, they measure your fundal height, too (my fundal height is always in the 90th percentile or more, but I have these wee babies!).

I'm so glad they don't weigh me. I have enough weight issues as it is. I've always been a healthy weight my whole life, but it's like there is always some crasshole out there who has something bisque-y to say to give me a complex about it. If I ever have a girl, I will never ever do that to her. /whine

I was weighed at every check-in too, and I gained more than the standard recommended amount, but neither my doctors nor the nurses ever even blinked. They really barely mentioned it. In fact, at my first appointment, when I gasped, the nurse said "Girrrl, you're having twins, do not even worry about it!" There was one doctor who was kind of annoying, but her issue was more with the fact that I was carrying a twin pregnancy, not with my weight gain.

Why can't I think of the word for it now--the babies had a lot of fluid around them towards the end, and all they did was tell me to watch my carbs and sugar, not my calories. Everyone carries weight differently, so I thought it was hilarious that, 60+ pounds in, at 38 weeks, my perinatologist felt bad for telling me to avoid chocolate because he shouldn't be taking anything out of my diet.

I've had a disordered relationship with my body and food, and I really started getting kind of anxious towards the end there, but pregnancy and my postpartum period sure did teach me to make peace with my body and take care of myself.

_________________"Noooo! Karyn, you have to stop posting old Jensen pics. He looks way too smooth in those pics, like if I touch his face it'll feel like silk or bosoms or something."-mixmaster_moIt's Raining Kale

Here, they do pee and BP at every check-up, and starting at about 28 weeks, they measure your fundal height, too (my fundal height is always in the 90th percentile or more, but I have these wee babies!).

I'm so glad they don't weigh me. I have enough weight issues as it is. I've always been a healthy weight my whole life, but it's like there is always some crasshole out there who has something bisque-y to say to give me a complex about it. If I ever have a girl, I will never ever do that to her. /whine

No kidding, Crabby.

They rely heavily on fundal height here too, and by my last trimester I was measuring "too small" every single time. So every time they'd send me off to get another ultrasound, determine that everything was, in fact, fine, and conclude that I was just having a small baby. The first time it happened I was a little freaked out, but I got used to it. No big surprise--small mommy, small-ish baby!

They rely heavily on fundal height here too, and by my last trimester I was measuring "too small" every single time. So every time they'd send me off to get another ultrasound, determine that everything was, in fact, fine, and conclude that I was just having a small baby. The first time it happened I was a little freaked out, but I got used to it. No big surprise--small mommy, small-ish baby!

I remember when I was pregnant with #1, a midwife told me the same thing -- I'm a small girl, so I'm not going to have a big baby, even though my fundal height is always huge. My babies always have huge heads, too, so it's not like I catch a break poppin' these wee guys out! ;D

I finally had my first OB visit today. Yay! Everything was awesome and she unexpectedly did a little bedside ultrasound for me, so I got to see tiny feet kicking and a little face turning this way and that and the fluttery heartbeat. Whee!

I thought of this thread, though, because my nurse was new and she like bellowed out my weight (you get weighed and your vitals checked in an open common area). So weird. I was never once told my number during my first pregnancy and my friend who had the same OB wasn't either. If I get this nurse again I'm going to ask her to keep it to herself. Or at least not shout.

OMG, I feel so huge -- I am starting to look kind of ridiculous, too! I can't wait to have the baby so I can sleep, poop, and pee like a regular human being. ;p Mind you, my hair is nice and the skin on my face looks amazing (like I'm reverse aging, although it might partially be preggo fat face), too, so it's not all bad!

My iron levels were a little low (just shy of the normal borderline), so the midwife suggested liquid iron drops. They are in this sickly sweet concoction -- blargh -- but easy on the stomach. I read you shouldn't have caffeine, tannins, or calcium when taking iron and that it's best not to take it with food, so I am kind of cock-blocked on everything near the iron-drinking period, so I have it early in the morning and late at night and in the afternoon, I go on a coffee/green-or-white tea-drinking binge. By binge, I really mean maybe 2 mugs, but it feels like a binge when I can't really have it at other times. I also found out white bread here is fortified with calcium by law, and while we usually have brown bread, we get white bread if it is reduced and there is no whole wheat alternative (my husband LOVES to time his grocery shopping to when the bread is all reduced to 9p), so I can't even have a wee bit of toast later in the evenings at the moment. Still, it could be worse!

I have my scan tomorrow to see if I still have placenta previa. *fingers crossed I won't need a c-section* Nothing against c-sections, but they scare the shiitake out of me (so do epidurals) and I figure since Raygold flew out (I pushed for 2.5 hours with Beetroot, so that was a huge difference), this guy should be easy-peasy, too. Not painless, but, you know, I've got a lot of room down there after having 2 kids.

Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 11:51 amPosts: 8123Location: United States of New England

woohoo PInko! how exciting! i cant believe they yelled out your weight like that. i would have been mortified.

TCC i had to start taking iron too and i was chasing it with OJ because vit C HELPS absorption and then like 2 weeks later i realized the OJ i was drinking was fortified with calcium. D'oh!

good luck on your u/s!! i would be scared of a c section too. it sounds scary!

TMI question du jour: how much discharge is normal? im like 38.5 weeks now.technically today was my original due date by ovulation calendar. they pushed me back to 5/2 based on my first u/s.probably all weekend and today ive had some regular clear discharge.the books dont help because they say discharge is normal and sometimes you may have to use a pantaloon liner (which i actually did today) and then they say to make sure you're not leaking amniotic fluid like im supposed to know somehow what that would look like and how it would differ from normal discharge. it's always clear, sometimes it has a slight yellowish tinge to it like urine.nothing painful or weird or gross colored so im thinking normal?

no contractions or anything. maybe some really mild BH ones but no real ones for sure.

i have my next OB appt tomorrow should i mention it?im already getting an u/s tomorrow so what else would they do?

If you're worried you're leaking fluid, I'd mention it, but it's not likely that you are. Clear discharge is totally normal. They can do a simple test with a pH strip to see if it's amniotic fluid or just regular discharge if you're worried, though.

TMI Alert follows!! I don't know how much discharge is normal, but I leak so much creamy cervical fluid (especially when I poop -- it's like extra gets pushed out) you'd think I had an STD or something (I don't). I mean, I tend to leak a lot of cervical fluid anyway (I've been told it's normal and just a sign of strong hormones), but man, this is really somethin' else. That shiitake will eat holes in your pantaloons if you let it.

LisaPunk, I had a lot of leaking towards the end (like 38-39 weeks) and was checked for low amniotic fluid, but that wasn't it. It was sorta like I was peeing myself constantly but it wasn't quite the same sensation as when I pee, ya know? In any case, I was sorta freaked out but it was fine!to add to Crabby's TMI, whoa yes on the fluid - mine wasn't creamy persay, but it stained my (dark-colored) underwear with brown/orange. I was so confused, the fluid was clear but it ate away at the color on fabric!

Now is the time to start using cloth TP! Now that I have a laundry basket for Malka's toilet-related cloth (we never figured out how to cloth diaper with our laundry situation, but we do cloth wipe), I have jumped onto that bandwagon and am never looking back.

Ok, I'm feeling better that discharge-eating-away-at-underwear is something that's apparently normal. Seriously, this stuff does take the color out of fabric! I don't have any Official Sexytimes™ undergarments anymore!