With our girls now 22 months and 4 years old (today!), this year we have had to decide what to do about Santa. In Daniel’s childhood home, Santa’s presents were numerous, wrapped in white tissue paper (have you ever tried to wrap anything of substance in tissue paper?). For my family, Santa was a pretty big deal. I wouldn’t venture to say that he overtook the holiday; I feel like my parents always worked to remind us of its real reason. Even Santa's letters to us urged us to focus on Jesus. But for many years I remember "catching Santa" while he finished placing the last present, often at about 2:00 in the morning. We would then proceed to open our presents in the middle of the night. I believed in Santa Claus long after I should have stopped because I had seen him. I later learned that he was a kind family friend who might as well have been Santa, staying up all night, dressed in a red suit and eating cookies and delivering joy to children and their parents alike for many years.

Mirabella's last Santa experience, on her second birthday.

Santa was a positive experience for Daniel and me, and now here we are, adults, fully aware of what Christmas means and working hard to teach our small children. I have scoured Netflix for videos that focus on the real meaning of Christmas (that did not go well). We selected an armload of books from the library, only one of which was simple enough to suffice. The others are either unnecessarily complicated, or they feature made up characters (the star, the shepherd, the angel) who were apparently present at the birth of Jesus. These characters end up requiring back story, and a couple of them have been downright awful. In the case of The Littlest Angel, why, when I'm trying to explain to my preschooler the concept of God being born, do I need to also explain why a four-year-old angel is lamenting the life he misses on Earth? Really?

So back to our Christmas. Year round, we have been striving to be purposeful and to focus less on things. We don't really have TV, we don't watch many movies, we monitor the music we bring in, and we try to limit the number of toys our kids acquire, but it sometimes feels like a losing battle. Some people have told us they think we don't give our kids much in the way of gifts, but lately we have been feeling the weight of the responsibility to set expectations and focus for future years. To that end, this season the girls helped me pack our shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child and chose the toys we donated to our church's Christmas outreach event. At the event, Mirabella made crafts with the children and helped one of the mothers select toys for her kids. We are trying to set a precedent of focusing on others. We plan to deliver homemade gift baskets to several neighbors on Christmas morning. As for differentiating between Christ's birth and Santa's loot, we have talked very little of Santa. We have agreed to allow him into our home, but we are limiting his role. We do not bring him up. We have avoided books and limited movies about him. We do not venture to the mall. We read the Christmas story frequently. We have carved time into our new traditions on Christmas Eve and morning to read and talk about it, and Santa will only be bringing each child one gift.

A co-worker-- upon hearing my take on Santa, why my kids don't watch commercials or need Power Wheels or haven't seen Alvin and the Chipmunks, the Squeaquel, or why they don't eat many treats or know much about computer games-- accused me of trying to control everything. I can see how it could be mistaken for that. It's not, though it certainly is relatively easy to control outside influences at this point. I know it will only get harder and that the foundation we set does not guarantee a certain outcome. But I still believe it's our responsibility as parents to set the stage, to communciate what we, as a family, consider to be of value. Worshiping God, serving and treating others with respect and compassion, loving each other-- these are our core values. And it's not that any of the other things-- including the trappings of a big Chrismas-- are bad, but for us, I fear that they get in the way.

I can't control the fact that Mirabella's birthday falls three days before Christmas or that we have a large and loving family that joyfully lavishes gifts on my children. But I can model thankfulness. I can show that we value experience and time together over things. I can talk patiently with Mirabella about why she received one birthday present (in addition to a party and special day with one-on-one time with each parent). I can try.I read enough about simple living/homemaking/mothering to know that, compared to many, I am only dabbling in simplicity; there is so much more (and in some cases, less) we could be doing. Which is why I am working hard to quit comparing and focus on doing the best I can by my family.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May it be filled with love and all the simple wonder it deserves.

About Me

Christina | Virginia BeachPsuedo Yankee, city-loving former working mom of four finds herself home with the kids and transplanted to the somewhat Southern suburbs. Finding her feet while still attempting to harness the power of the passion of her youth for useful good.