your tendency to climb in
your free time,
suggests to me that
you embody hyper-vigilance
along with uncanny emotional thresholds
that reality cannot keep a reign on.

i've the same curse.
it's a blessing though, if you look at it right.

chasing death is a race,
not based on speed, for
those whom run from it,
also flee life.

i, and maybe you,
run towards death
in a bold dare,
that the reaper usually shy's
away from,
and after a while,
when the dust settles,
life shows up,
limping and out of breath,
and asks for a sip of your beer.

it's cool being in charge of our's undoing.
dont fret, dingus.
life's fire is well stoked.

It's been a heinous year for norovirus. I'd say well over half of the staff & students where I work have had it. We had it piledrive it's way through our house at the start of the year. Disgusting little virus. It really is.

Seems I finally kicked the norovirus. After influenza back in late Nov. and a nasty cold in Jan and Fed its been a trying winter for travel.

Things are looking up through, as Spring approaches with its new beginnings. The almond trees are in full bloom as are the plum trees in my front yard with their lovely pink blossoms.

I had 3 separate interviews this week for a new job with travel more resatricted to west of Mississippi (huge qol improvement potential) and I just spent 4 days and nights at Miami's South Beach, living beyond my means.

But if you need something, you need it. Sometimes waving a talisman shaped like a stethescope and giving somebody something they think will work is just as good.

And sometimes there is a chemical deficiency that has to be balanced. Not everyone can be 'fixed,' sometimes the good Lord just made a brain lacking in certain hormones and it makes people f*#king crazy... but you know that.

Following on GDavis...and sometimes what is missing is regular, adequate sleep, without which your body can't keep itself "tuned" (incl. keeping neurotransmitters in balance). Lack of adequate sleep leads to less HGH being released, which leads to the build up of all kinds of left-over garbage in your system (e.g., cortisol, which makes you feel awful). Forgive me for repeating myself, but sleep is highly undervalued.

There are any number of reasons that cause lack of adequate sleep, from the latest virus to stress to lack of sufficient exercise to lousy diet. When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, one of THE most important "prescriptions" my doctor (my hero) gave me was to get enough sleep and to be vigilant about this. I have a great deal of respect for him because when I told him I didn't want the diagnosis (lol), didn't want any prescriptions, and ARGH!, I just wanted to know what to do to get better, he put the script pad down, leaned forward and gave me this advice:

1) Get 45 minutes of sustained, low-impact exercise at least 3-4, if not 5-6 times a week. I swim, and I second or third or...tenth everyone else here that suggested getting in the water. Even just getting in a small pool and kicking your legs furiously and working your arms to tread water until you get the fight out of you will work magic. Any kind of resistance activity, really, and you can't beat yoga, either. And obviously, when you're not on the road, you know what lights your fire.

2) Figure out how much sleep you need to feel rested. (If it takes a week or month or more of using something to assist you in figuring this out, do it without guilt.) After living most of my life on 3-4 hours of sleep (and frequently less due to chronic anxiety/depression), I now know that 9 hours of sleep is exactly what I need. I wake up without an alarm clock, without the desire to hit "snooze" and feel completely renewed. Once you figure it out, again, be vigilant in enforcing this boundary in your own self-defense. (I know it's hard when you're traveling, I don't dispute that.)

3) Eat well. When you travel, this is a huge challenge, but if you bring along some really healthy options (e.g., Vega nutritional shake powder, Laera Bars, Ultima replenisher for hydration) to make sure you get one extra meal in there that's really healthy, it actually makes a big difference. I avoid grains completely -- for whatever reason, my body hates them. Life without them is calm and even-keeled. No anxiety. No depression. Just pure flow. Also, I make a big bottle of water with Ultima replenisher, D-ribose and glutamine, and drink this throughout the day -- it's kind of like putting the best oil in your car -- this keeps your muscles, fascia, tendons/ ligaments, etc. happy, fed and hydrated (added benefit -- it keeps muscle spasms at bay).

4) Just make GOOD CHOICES. Wherever, whenever, whatever...of the options in front of you, choose the one that is best for you. This applies to virtually every aspect of "being". What I believed for 5 years was one of the most awful things that had ever happened to me (getting fired, which in the legal profession kills your prospects), turns out to have been a blessing in disguise. I was really sick with undiagnosed celiac disease and it was destroying me from the inside out; but I had been too busy pushing forward, working myself close to death (literally), to pay attention to all of the signs. I spent 4+ years in mental, physical and financial Hell before I figured out what was wrong by process of elimination (and finally disregarding all external, helpful "advice"). For the last 1.5 years, I have been slowly building my life, good decision by good decision. (Note, not "rebuilding", because my life before wasn't any way to live.) I have a contract job with no guaranteed length, without benefits, BUT I work for two managers that care and who treat me and everyone else they work with with respect, and the job is limited to 40 hours a week. When I walk out of the office to go home, the work doesn't come home with me the way it used to (eating up evenings, weekends, vacations, etc.). And the best part of what I'm doing now? When the opportunities to attend last year's Facelift and the Oakdale Festival arose, there was no pushback. My bosses were psyched for me.

I wrote elsewhere that I just had my 1.5 year FM diagnosis follow-up, and after following my doctor's advice, I am free of all indicia of FM. I share his advice because I think it's the best advice I've ever received. His advice provides your body and psyche with the optimal platform for living well.

My work is very high pressure and very high tech. I've decided that it is eating me alive, and I need to decompress big time. I used to go on summer long adventures, but a replaced knee has limited me. So I came up with the perfect tool, which is really not very expensive: A small cruising sailboat. I did a ton of research and decided on a 1973 Albin Vega, which has a good reputation for going anywhere, because they have. I got the boat for less than 15 grand. I'm heading out to Chesapeake Bay in early May for several months of non-stop sailing. Next winter will be my last year of work and then I'm off, baby. I damn sure won't be posting here anymore, or if I did, it would only be to rub it in..