2012Having 15 years of alcoholic sobrietyTelling another human being about my being abused as a boyFinding the MS web siteOvercoming compulsive sexual acting outOvercoming compulsive porn and MB activityBeginning a period of sexual sobrietyDisclosing my CSA to a group of men at an AA meetingChanging Therapists to one who specializes in Trauma RecoveryStarting EMDR TherapyVolunteering for a child abuse prevention organizationMaking amends to my grown children and explaining my past to them

2013Overcoming nightmaresOvercoming FlashbacksOvercoming self-hatredBeing the father my children deserveFinding my abuserBeing able to have a sex life without dissociation, compulsivity, going too fast, too slow, or too softResolving the state of my marriage, one way or the otherContinuing my educationBecoming an advocate for children

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I will remember youWill you remember me?Don't let your life pass you byWeep not for the memoriesSarah McLachlan

You've made amazing, commendable progress in 2012 - to the point where not too long after you started really confronting your own pain you were helping other people in your AA meetings. I remember reading your messages about how difficult that was for you, the fear and nervousness you felt, but at the same time how obvious it was that you were helping to link other people struggling with this to a source of optimism and hope. It really cannot be overstated just how important that is. You should be very proud.

Your 2013 goals look extremely important and, for the most part, extremely achievable. I say "for the most part" because, to be frank, overcoming nightmares and flashbacks is probably not entirely within conscious control, and will depend on a combination of your overall mental state, background stress level / trigger exposure, therapeutic comforts, whatever meds you're taking, and dumb luck. You listed those FIRST which suggests they are the most important to you and I completely understand. I am so afraid of just the memories of my flashbacks that it's nearly as bad as the flashbacks themselves. But still, those two will be the most difficult and the least subject to your will, and you should go into 2013 with realistic expectations so you don't get let down.

I have full faith that you can triumph in all of the others - that you can take charge and resolve all of those areas much for the better. And I'll sure be rooting for you to get the "Big Two" under control as well.

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