Beer Hunting

How to Start a Bargument

Some of the best things about drinking beer with a friend are goofy—or sometimes very important—bar arguments. They can be rooted in the very real—like, should the Mariners have traded away Taijuan Walker? Or the bargument might be silly—like, would you rather be a gorilla made of Cheetos or a butterfly made of chocolate? (I mean, butterflies can fly. That’s huge and super-fun. But a gorilla is much bigger and stronger, in command of its jungle king- or queendom, right?) Here are some good bargument starters (with supporting commentary), on the chance you’ve run out of ideas to bandy about this evening.

Bargument 1: If Michael Jordan had never been born, the SuperSonics would still be in Seattle.

Point: Without Jordan, the Chicago Bulls wouldn’t have won the 1996 NBA championship against the Sonics, some 10 years prior to the team’s sale and move to Oklahoma City. With such a recent championship, the team couldn’t have been relocated by then-commissioner David Stern.

Counterpoint: Doesn’t matter. The sale was fated; Clay Bennett was getting the team no matter what. He had something on Stern!