Over the weekend Scott Greenfield at Simple Justice wrote a post asking about the “strange” or “unusual” jobs people had before becoming Masters of the Universe. Applying that criteria, I picked the following:

Desk Clerk at a Hotel

Sporting Goods/Toys Salesperson at K-Mart

First Line Responder for the Worker’s Compensation Department of a Nuclear Weapons Facility.

There’s three stories associated with each that I didn’t go into detail there, because, well, that’s Scott’s blog, and this one is mine. Still, each has a few tidbits worth sharing.

Desk Clerk: This was where I learned the unreasonableness of people at a very early age. I was around sixteen when I took this job, and only got it because I showed up in professional dress with a resume. It was the fanciest, nicest hotel in a small town in Northeast Tennessee. I found out very quickly that with a bar present there would be people who would come back extremely drunk trying to re-negotiate the prices of their rooms or complain about something that would get them a reduced rate or refund. I experienced my first bomb threat when the hotel hosted a “steak and Jack Daniel’s tasting” even for Father’s Day.

I even got to meet the then-head distiller of Jack Daniel’s and got an autographed picture of him that I made sure hung over the toilet of the master bathroom of every residence in which I lived from that point forward. I wanted people who got stinking drunk and hungover the next day to “pray to the porcelain god” and see the face of the man who caused their drinking binge as soon as they looked up. That’s my kind of humor.

Sporting Goods/Toys Salesperson at K-Mart: This is where I developed my aversion to guns. I don’t mention this often, because I like guns. I like to shoot guns. I think that if people want to own guns, they should, and that’s a right we’ve had defined that shouldn’t be taken away. But I shy away from them, largely because I know outlets like K-Mart would often have clerks overlook the background check component required to make the sale, especially if “this fella looks all right by me.” We were also never supposed to sell guns and ammunition at the same time, but people often did in that department, and didn’t follow protocol on a regular basis.

People often laugh at Wal-Mart at the people who shop there. In truth K-Mart had just as many lunatics. They just didn’t come at the same volume or at the same quick rate as you see in Wally World. I clearly remember a woman who walked the aisles of the Sporting Goods section looking for golf clubs for her ex-husband, carrying a cup full of a mix of vodka, whiskey, and orange juice and smoking a cigarette. This was around eleven thirty during the day.

Eventually I got bored with the job and left.

First Line Responder at a Worker’s Compensation Department for a Nuclear Weapons Facility: Yes, for those of you who think otherwise, we still build nukes. We still have places that innovate weapons of war, and people who are in the Comp departments of those places get the brunt of every single disgusted employee’s complaint over free hearing aids or pain pills.

When we got a call someone was either injured or ill at the plant, that’s when I would get the directive to jump and actually get into the plant itself. There I would meet the “ill” or “injured” person and present them with paperwork to fill out. They would get a “physician’s panel” that allowed them to pick from three doctors to treat their illness or injury. They would get a “white card” allowing them to have their medications paid for every single day. They would eventually get a check, and usually something called “open future medicals” which in the facility’s terms meant that you’d get anything and everything paid for regarding your illness or injury for the rest of your life.

That led to the development of “Worker’s Compensation Reform” in the State, because the plant didn’t want to litigate any cases involving workers who were hurt. One of the Benefits Legal attorneys at the plant was afraid a trial because she was convinced in her heart of hearts that if a trial occurred, she would face the government’s wrath for allowing an employee to reveal confidential government secrets. That was unacceptable in her eyes, so it was better to avoid conflict than embrace it.

Another great story there involved a “paint overspray” I had to handle. One week a paint crew got tasked with painting the roofs of several buildings inside the plant. They used spraying mechanisms, and they did the paint job during a time of high wind conditions at the plant.

This meant several hundred automobiles and other motor vehicles got a “paint overspray,” which translated to “you go to your car and find it covered in a new shade of grey.”

My job there was to call each person, offer them a choice of how to get their vehicle repainted or repaired, and report back to the Dark Overlords.

It didn’t take long to find out that the “paint” was actually an adhesive substance that caused body damage to every vehicle when traditional repaint methods were used.

One thing I love about changing my life for the better is that it’s given me a new perspective on things that I didn’t know I could do. I was trapped in a job that I hated, I wasn’t focused on the needs of my family, and I knew I was at a breaking point when I was coming home with files that needed review well after the time I wanted to be working.

I have two kids. Two beautiful, strong, wonderful kids who are awesome in so many ways. Being an attorney wasn’t giving me the freedom to have that. Freedom is a big value in my eyes, which is why with this life change I am unapologetically working to be filthy stinking rich.

Freedom is a big aspect for me, as is family. One aspect of why I want to be filthy stinking rich is so that I can spend more time with my kids. There’s not a damn good reason in the world that I should be focusing on working some client’s case more than spending time with two amazing little human beings that are developing at a heavy rate.

So I’m phasing out the practice of law to do what I want to do, get paid incredible amounts of money doing it, and do so in a manner that if I want to spend time with the kids, I get to do it. Unapologetically. If I want to hire a sitter long term for a weekend and have a getaway with my wife, then I can do it.

In that same respect, I’ve got some awesome projects in the works. I set a goal, I am working toward that goal, and I am applying the law of attraction to meet that goal. It also means that while most ordinary schlubs would work a 9-5 gig and then have a weekend, I will be working on maintaining a website, talking with people about projects, engaging and figuring out how to make those projects work well, and then do what needs to be done to make that money.

Tonight, I realized that my work hadn’t reached my wife. Major fuckup.

She had a conversation with me after a couple of drinks. I’m trying to stave off caffeine for a solid week to see how a return affects my body. I told her “I’m using the restroom and will take our son so you can sleep.” Because I needed to stay off coffee to reach my goal, I went in and took a cold shower so I would be alert and awake to engage my kids.

By the time I was out of the shower both kids were up and she was feeding them breakfast.

During the day, she was gracious and kind enough to manage the kidlets while I networked, made contacts, and took phone calls. Because I was focused and engaged due to her support, I didn’t realize that she was overwhelmed.

She told me tonight. Hard. She felt “unloved,” and “disrespected” because of my actions.

When I didn’t respond with the usual bowing, curtseying, and courting mechanisms she got upset and said I was “indifferent.” I wasn’t. I wasn’t placing a single value judgment on how she felt. It was how she felt, and there was nothing I could do to change that.

“So I’m going to wake you up every hour and make you give him a bottle,” she said, “because I need sleep.”

“Yes you do,” I replied. “What about if we start engaging in shift sleeping?”

“I don’t want to hear anything about your shift sleeping shit.”

My wife hasn’t realistically gotten sleep in the past year due to our two children needing to be born close together to achieve a goal we wanted. This was an imposition she realized she took on herself, but she wanted me to feel the blame for her mental state. When I acknowledged and apologized, that wasn’t enough. She wanted more. She wanted sadness.

I wasn’t coming to her level, and that upset her.

On some days she’s happy I’m feeling better and supportive. On others she’s not really happy that she’s got to do what people do to support their spouses.

I’m not sure how to manage her expectations as I launch on a path of radical, drastic self improvement, and I understand that.

All I can do is the following: understand that people are never going to change, people are always going to do what they do, and do it for the rest of their lives, as Cernovich says. So I’ve gotta do me, and be healthy and happy for me, and achieve my goals, so my family can benefit.