Some twat named Rebecca Martinson, president of a chapter of the Delta Gamma sorority on some college campus somewhere in Shitville, USA, wrote this email to her sorority sisters expressing her displeasure that they were not spending enough time with the 'cool' frat Sigma Nu. The email went viral when it slipped out. Here now is a dramatic reading of said email by Michael Shannon. Caution: salty language.

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."