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"When you prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned
results which follow victory.... [God] commandeth me to put it into
words. Listen!
".... O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody
shreds with our shells... help us to drown the thunder of the
guns with the shrieks of the wounded, writhing in pain; help us to
lay waste their homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring
the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help
us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander
unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and
thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter,
broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge
of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord,
blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage,
make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the
white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the
spirit of love, of Him who is the Source of Love, and Who is the
ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and
seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."
--Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens) 1835-1910; "The War Prayer,"
from _Europe and Elsewhere_

Basically, I think there is some device the telco puts on the phone that
ensures that whoever is on the other end of a service call is always
a drooling moron with the IQ of a potted plant."
-- The alt.sysadmin.recovery FAQ