What, Sweetie? Baby Wants a Bacon Treat?

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This baby is living the high-stylin' life. What else might she want? Gourmet liver treats? Her barks might reveal all.

No surprise to anyone who has ever loved a dog or cat: Studies show we think we can interpret barking and meowing. We can tell when our precious pup needs to go out, or chow down, or wants to play tug-tug with his favorite toy. Darling is hungry? Then Darling eats.

We adore dogs, and we've always been grateful to live in animal-loving Los Angeles for that reason; seems like there's a wagger-centered benefit every other week, or adoption fair down at the Tar Pits, or a celebrity is backing a charity to find hounds homes. Our city also has its share of psychics, famously, including pet psychics, also known as animal communicators, which has long comforted us. For we know, if things ever get too frustrating with our little Fido, there's someone who can tell us if he's mad, or sad, or still sore about getting told to get down from the couch last week. We also hope a crystal ball would be involved, although our dogs would probably slobber all over it.

There are, of course, new-fangled devices (our favorite name? Bow-lingual) that purport to actually translate barks as well. While we think we know what our dogs are saying, we feel they might surprise us -- are they actually reciting poetry, or engaging in high-minded discourse with each other on topical matters of the day? Nah. They're probably saying "walkies-walkies-walkies-walkies!" or similar.