tiresome but nonetheless always sure of itself

100 Days of Winter

They say elections have consequences, but they rarely remind you how permanent those consequences can be.

The plan for Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office have been available for some time. If you’re like me, you read through them before today because you wanted to see if there was some special sauce that most of us were missing about this putrid man and his vague but ominous promises to remake our country. But no one will blame you if this is the first time you’re seeing this, because Trump’s campaign did a fairly bad job of making his explicit plans clear, even to his voters. And most of them couldn’t tell you what his plans were any way. They like his bold lack of specificity. It keeps him flexible. He doesn’t need a plan, just a hashtag.

But now we will dig in and see what, exactly, we are so terrified about. And guess what! It’s really bad.

First Stuff:

Constitutional Amendment for Term limits on Congress. Sounds sort of good until you realize that the rich have an innate advantage in all elections, and this will devastate the Democratic party’s legacy seats which form a wall between Republican anti-government policies and their dream of a Wild West where disabled children fend for their own education. The great hope here is that the fat ass Republicans who are equally safe will toss this one out before it ever gets through the enormous process of ratification just to save their own careers.

Hiring freeze in the federal government, effectively lowering the wages and raising the hours of all employees of the largest employer in the country (cops and soldiers exempt, of course) as the initial fuck you salvo toward the very white working poor who elected him. Will it shrink the government? Yeah, but just the good parts.

Total slapdash deregulation, most likely to harm consumer product, food and drug safety and the environment. Environment will be a theme here. It turns out the way to Make America Great Again is with LOTS OF POLLUTION.

Lifetime ban on lobbying on behalf of foreign governments. I don’t care about this. Be sure to write in if you think I should.

Ban on foreign lobbyist raising money for candidates. Honestly sounds like it’ll hurt AIPAC the most, which would be great, but that means they’ll defeat it and he’ll probably call it a compromise with the (((globalists.)))

Second Stuff (for workers):

Withdraw or renegotiate NAFTA. Mexico is a tiny country and this will make no difference except to drastically raise the price of avocados.

Withdraw from TPP. This will be seen as a good thing by Bernieites but is actually a full ceding of Pacific trade to China, who will love it. He could have renegotiated it and demanded worker union protections for partner nations, which would have improved worker saftey around the globe and protected wages here at home. Instead, he’s just gunna drop it and use tariffs (?) to manage import/exports. Good job, Trump, helping the Chinese.

Label China currency manipulator, which will fuck with our bond markets and force them to take actions that will also hurt us, like calling out our corn and ag subsidies, creating this vicious cycle where everything will cost more. Cool.

Trade War (general thread).

Remove drilling and pipeline restrictions, effectively tearing up hundreds of miles of coastline, exposing ecosystems to catastrophic contamination, and piping tons and tons of carbon into the atmosphere, making life on Earth less viable. Fucking GREAT.

Push forward KXL and DAPL, see above.

DESTROY THE UN CLIMATE CHANGE AGREEMENT AND ENFORCEMENT MECHANISMS, setting the world back to the 70’s in terms of climate treaties, and dooming us to hundred year floods every five years until our cities turn into mold farms and our fields dry up like the beginning of Interstellar. He is going to destroy the world slowly AND quickly, just to make sure it’s dead.

Third Stuff (pretty bad too):

Reverse Obama’s executive actions, which constitute the sum total of his presidency after 2014. This means the DREAM Act, the protection of trans kids in bathrooms, certain Obamacare actions, fucking everything. It will be like Obama was never president, except for Obamacare itself, which is mysteriously absent from this list.

Appoint the new Scalia, who I’m guessing will be the reanimated corpse of Vince Foster wearing a wrestling championship belt and saying the n-word.

Cancel ‘funding’ to ‘sanctuary cities’ which is a fancy way of saying they’ll fuck with San Francisco because they can.

‘Begin removing the more than two million criminal illegal immigrants…’ he’s going to enforce the existing immigration policy with a higher fervor than the most deportingest president in history, Barack Hussein Obama. This unfortunately will include people who committed relatively minor crimes (like reentering the country after their first deportation) and will split up families. We’re not talking about thugs and hoodlums all the time here, folks. Lots of people you know are ‘criminal’ and still deserve to not be kidnapped by cops and thrown into a desert.

Tell Syrian, Yemenese, Somalian, Libyan, Afghani, Pakistani and Kurdish refugees that even though we are illegally bombing their countries and funding terrorists who want to murder their pregnant wives, they can’t come here, cause we’re scared they’ll learn trick from our own kids and make a Columbine. It goes without saying, but this is insidious and profoundly un-American and anyone who signs off on this policy should be hung from the Statue of Liberty’s torch by their underwear for a week.