Paul and Lucy Spadoni periodically live in Tuscany to explore Paul’s Italian roots, practice their Italian and enjoy “la dolce vita.”
All work is copyrighted and may not be reprinted without written permission from the author, who can be contacted at www.paulspadoni.com

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Manners, morals and la bella figura

January 6, 2012

Essential to the Italian culture is the concept of “bellafigura,” good
figure, but the literal translation is not sufficient to comprehend the
meaning. It relates to making a good impression but goes even further. It has
been described as putting your best foot forward in everything you do, especially
in style, appearance and public behavior, as a way of showing respect to
yourself and others. Although she does not use this term, Fanny undoubtedly
believed in it, as can be seen throughout her chapter titled “Of Manners and
Morals.”

“A well-groomed man or woman is mentally well-groomed, too.
For resort wear, casual attire is permitted, but even on the Riviera, gentlemen
and gentlewomen are always properly attired when they dine in restaurants. My
beloved (peasant-born) father wouldn’t even go to the bank unless he was neatly
dressed.

”

She also decries the loosening of standards evident in her day
in clothing and grooming styles that had become both more casual and more
revealing: “Women who walk around in public with curlers in their hair are
lacking in self-respect (and) respect for others . . . Those who flaunt and
tempt men by their display of flesh are the type who flip about from man to
man; they can’t even hold one man in marriage. It takes a man with a great heart and mind to know love and
life and to love truly. The Don Juans of the world and the sexy nakedness of
the harebrained women display lack of depth of mind and feeling. Vulgarity is
not a synonym for thought, love, life, truth, beauty, or reality; and the cheap
vulgarity displayed in dress, manners, and attitudes of defiance toward society
are symptoms of humans who are in deep mesmeric slumber of morbid self-hypnosis
created by excesses, by their own inner doubts, fears, hatreds, and insecurity.”

Fanny assuredly would have abhorred the low riser jeans and
plunging necklines that have become popular for women in recent times. And one can
hardly imagine what criticisms she would have aimed at the baggy pants popular
among young men. While I would have applauded her condemnation of these tacky
trends, I think she takes her philosophy too far when she starts stepping
squarely on my own toes. Having been raised in the style of the Northwest, I
love my jeans and flannel and cotton shirts, and I have never been comfortable
wearing a tie.

Had Fanny lived in Gig Harbor, we may have butted heads over her
expectations for apparel, because she wrote: “A true gentleman wears a coat and
tie to honor his wife or lady friend. There is entirely too much casualness in
everything today. There is a place and time for everything, and a public place
is no place for the undressed. A high-class man or woman dresses for high
class, and that doesn’t cost too much money. Simple good taste is never
expensive, but oh, how lovely!”

It does sound quite lovely, I must confess. I guess I am
pretty much a hypocrite when it comes to la
bella figura, because one of the things I most enjoy about Italy is watching
the stylish appearance of the people, who stand out even more in stark contrast compared to my drab garb. Fanny was a first-generation Italian American,
and I am second-generation, so to some extent I resign myself to being farther from
the Italian ideal. On the other hand, if my goal for visiting Italy is to
become more Italian, this is an area to which I must devote more attention; so
thanks, Fanny, for the advice.

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About Me

First off, before you hassle me about our title, Lucy thought of it. Yes, I know some people may think broad is derogatory, but the etymology is uncertain and she doesn’t find it offensive, and it made me laugh. We have been married since 1974 and are empty-nesters now, which allows me to bring my submerged Italophilia into the open. We first came to live in Italy from February-April in 2011 and have returned during the same months every year. From 2011-2015, we lived in San Salvatore, at the foot of the hilltop city Montecarlo, where my paternal grandparents were born, raised and, in 1908, married. In late 2015, we bought a home in Montecarlo. We come for a variety of purposes: We want to re-establish contact with distant cousins in both Nonno’s and Nonna’s families, we want to learn the language and see what it is like to live as Italians in modern Italy, we like to travel and experience different cultures. Even if we aren’t successful at achieving these purposes, we love Italy and enjoy every moment here, so there is no chance we will be disappointed. I am grateful to God for giving me a wife who is beautiful, clever, adaptable and willing to jump into my dreams wholeheartedly.