November 12, 2015

Good morning! Welcome to our new Life by Design readers! Today’s post is inspired by devotional that I read in Joyce Meyer’s “Promises for Your Everyday Life.”

Every day we must combat our emotions (how we feel) with our spirit (our higher self.) According to Joyce Meyer, “Emotions are in the realm of the soul. Our soul is the intangible area between our spirit, the place where God lives, and our physical body. It is made up of our mind, will and emotions, it tells us what we think, what we want and how we feel. Of these three areas of the soul, it's our feelings that get stirred up the fastest.”

Most people listen, react and respond to their emotions because it is often the loudest voice in our head. However, because the emotions are based on our superficial flesh, it will lead us wrong every time.

In the process of getting to where you are going (only you know where that is) there will be distractions along the way. Your emotions, can be one of those distractions. Case in point, most recently, I found myself looking back on my life and feeling like I missed the boat. Meaning, I found myself feeling melancholy and wishing I could go back to change some decisions. For a brief moment, it had me all messed because we all know that we can’t go back. In fact, it is looking in the rear view mirror, and living with regret that can keep us from moving forward.

Thankfully, I was lead to some affirming teaching to get past those thoughts ("Amazing Faith," Dr. Preston T. Adams, III). Here is what I have surmised. When your thoughts and feelings come to discourage, distract or place doubt in you, based on what you “see” or how you feel, don’t just let them stay there…OVERRIDE them!

How?

Practice TRT - Thought Replacement Therapy. For every thought of that comes into your mind based on how you feel, replace it with what the word of God says about your situation.

Override, Override, Override. Post life affirming scriptures and the promises of God every where you are as a constant reminder of where you are going.

Go back to your faith files. Recall what God has already done and allow those experiences to strengthen and encourage you about what He will do in your future!

Remember what the cashier does when your pricing for an item is wrong? She calls over a manager (higher power i.e the Lord Jesus Christ) with a key (word of God) and asks for an OVERRIDE! That is exactly what I want you do! WOW!!! This is a great imagery for me, even if it isn’t for anyone else!

2 Corinthians 10:4-5, says “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh (feeling & emotions), but mighty before God to the casting down of strongholds, casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

Don’t just let negativity and defeated thought live rent free in your mind! Talk back and kick them out with an OVERRIDE!

October 14, 2015

Good morning LBD Friends! This has been one of the most challenging years of my life, full of highs and lows. Working on several major projects at once was tremendously stressful. All while purchasing a home, watching my dad’s health decline (he transitioned in July), and now losing my first life coach, mentor and friend Wilbert Buckner earlier this week. In all of this, I’ve kept my head down, my smile up and continued working. I praise God that through it all, I didn’t lose my mind or melt down even though I wanted to. No…rephrase that. I didn’t want to because I am “Growing in Grace!”

One of my besties encouraged me to relinquish the need to be strong. I admit that I don’t do so well in the “show hurt” department. To be a whole individual, I must be able to share my joys as well as pains. Both are part of life that we all experience. However, this post is not so much about my inability to show hurt, but how God showed UP in my hurt!

Many days I felt I could not go “another further” but from somewhere, God’s strength would show up and I could make it one more hour, even if I could not see through to the next day!

I was thinking something was wrong with me, and then I realized:

Being able to be under stress and not in DISTRESS is what having faith in God is all about.

Our faith in God should produce spiritual maturity. Even in our troubles, we should be able to have the peace that passes all understanding.

No matter what I am going through, God is right there to see me through.

I won’t tell you I didn’t have feelings of overwhelm, grief and sadness all at one time. With this loss of my very dear friend Wilbert, I have ALL of those feelings right now. The dichotomy is that while having all of these lows, God is giving me incredible highs, like providing a home to our 3 year old son. Just to see his face light up as he rides his bike on the sidewalk and NOT inside our apartment is something special. Receiving the Torchbearer award (the highest honor for a woman in the state of Indiana) has been an incredible high as well.

So…yes, I’m stressed, but I don’t want to have a meltdown. I am hurt but I don’t want to throw in the towel. I think I finally know the meaning of 2 Cor. 4:8-9, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.”

Torchbearers are the State of Indiana's most prestigious recognition of women in Indiana. They are women who have stepped forward as leaders by breaking down barriers to women's full participation. These women become lasting legacies for us all by overcoming immense challenges with courage, perseverance and compassion.

Thank you to all of my family and friends who continue to encourage me to move the cause of women and girls forward! Special "Thank You!" to the Raising Queens Leadership Team...You Rock!!!

Torchbearers are the State of Indiana's most prestigious recognition of women in Indiana. They are women who have stepped forward as leaders by breaking down barriers to women's full participation. These women become lasting legacies for us all by overcoming immense challenges with courage, perseverance and compassion.

Thank you to all of my family and friends who continue to encourage me to move the cause of women and girls forward! Special "Thank You!" to the Raising Queens Leadership Team...You Rock!!!

September 09, 2015

Prov. 24:16 - The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.

Good Morning LBD readers! This summer has been a whirlwind, full of ups and downs! In light of all that occurred in the last two months, including my summer travel, the passing of my father and our 5th annual women and girls conference, the writing of this blog took a temporary back seat.

I’ve said often that the more you don’t do a thing, the easier it is NOT to do it! My most authentic position is to be honest and say that it's become easy not to write and I’d like to take the easy way out. However, today, I’ve put my foot down and decided to get “back at It” which is the nature of this post. Nothing great was ever accomplished by quitting!

As I have contemplated the best way to jump back in to writing, three quick points come to mind that my be of use to you in whatever endeavor you must “get back to.”

Just do it!-Yes, the “Nike” slogan strikes again. Sometimes the most difficult thing is to just get going. Often, I find myself “thinking” about doing something instead of actually doing it! To get back at it, you’re going to have to take action and move. Don’t think about jumping…JUMP!

Use it or lose it! - Our gifts, talents and abilities are just like muscles. The more we use them, the stronger they get. Conversely, the less we use them the weaker they get. The longer you wait, the harder it is to get going again. Whatever, it is that you’ve fallen away from (working out, going to church, writing) get back at it so that you can build you strength in that area, which will more than likely build your life!

Give yourself a break!- Allow yourself to break your own “mental mode” of what it means to do the thing you are striving to begin again. Many of us generally set the standard for ourselves way to high (I mean me) and consequently set ourselves up for failure. Ask yourself, is the way I did it before the best way to do it? I.e. Can I set my goal for working out at 3 times a week instead of every day? Or, can I write a post once a month instead of every week? The idea is to give yourself and entry point and flexibility in your process. You can raise the bar as you see small successes.

With so much going on this summer, I’ve had to reassess my life and how I get things done in order to stay well in mind, body, and soul. Though there will be some changes, for sure, writing this blog does as much to minister to my soul and spirit as it does for all of you! I’m glad to be back at it, even if that means I have to change some things to keep it going! Proverbs 24:16 reminds us that the godly man falls but rises again. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall off the wagon as long as you get back up! Giddy up!

Til Next Time,

Cynthia “Back in the Saddle” Newman (Even if the saddle has changed a bit!)

August 19, 2015

Psalm 37:5 -Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this.

Good Morning! Wow...The 5th Annual Raising Queens Summit is just 3 days away and I am SUPER EXCITED!!! Since we add new readers and attendees to LBD every year, I wanted to send my annual "What Is It?" post so that you'd be as excited as I am about attending.

The Summit is a one day conference planned for women and girls (9 -17) designed to engage, enlighten and empower you to "Discover the Queen in you!" Can you believe it's been 5 years already? My dynamic leadership team and I are closing in on empowering more than 1000 women and girls through this event!!

This year, our challenge to you is to "BE UNSTOPPABLE!!" On August 22, you will get to spend one whole day thinking, planning and working on your inner queen. The incredible Queen LaTricia Hill-Chandler will help you uncover your UNSTOPPABLE MISSION. The Women in Media share their "UNSTOPPABLE JOURNEY!" You'll later be able to choose a self prescribed workshop to fill in the gaps and Life Coach, Timeko Whitaker will help you tie it all together by helping you create your own "QUEEN'S PLAYBOOK!" Ultimately, I'll tie it all to together by serving as this year's keynote speaker.

We've planned an impactful day as our teens enter their own TEEN SUMMIT! Queen Tracy Boyd, our Director of Community Outreach and passionate youth advocate has created the "Teen Town Hall Meeting" where teens will engage in a discussion about what matters to them most. (Think BET's 106 & Park here.) A listening delegation of community leaders will be charged with acting on the feedback of our teens!

Yes...the little princesses (ages 9-12) will have an awesome day of empowerment too! We've even partnered with Gleaners Food Bank to stock or city's pantries (bring a canned good!)

That's not all but you'll have to come and hear the rest!!! See why I am excited?? Grab your girlfriends and daughters and don't miss this phenomenal day! There's so much planned I just can't tell it all! Registration includes continental breakfast, lunch, and our closing ceremony; $35 for women and $25 for youth and young adults (up to age 25).

Psalm 37:5 - Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this. Well, with this year's Summit, God and our leadership team have done it again!

So there you have it ladies! Looking forward to seeing you at "The Summit" where one day has the potential to change your life! Log on to www.rqsummit2015.eventbrite.com and register today!! Hit me back with questions but don't you dare miss it!! Thanks for your support.

July 16, 2015

Good morning friends! As summer rolls on and the planning for the 5th Anniversary Raising Queens Summit heats up, I have enlisted the help of some of my friends to continue to bring you "content that makes you better!" Today's post comes from of author, speaker and teacher, Laconia Dudley-Dunn! This lady always has a word of inspiration on her heart! When you're done reading, grab a friend and register for the Summit at www.rqsummit2015.eventbrite.com. Enjoy!

“But as it is written; eyes have not seen, ears have not heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man the things that God has prepared for those that love him.” I Corinthians 2:9(NKJ)

The mere reading of this scripture is inspiration enough. So much so, that I’m bubbled over trying to keep my seat just to write. I mean, think about it…eyes have not seen; ears have not heard, it hasn’t even entered the realm of your heart the things that God has in store for you! If I was preaching that, we’d be shouting right about now!

The way that scripture speaks to me is, “My best ME hasn’t even been revealed!”

To a group of aspiring actors, Denzel Washington said; “that itch that you have in your heart is God’s proof that it’s yours. You ALREADY have it!”

Simply put, your best YOU is on the INSIDE of you! You’ve simply got to get moving to bring it out! It hasn’t manifested yet. But it’s there! Sure you’ll have times of uncertainty. Of course there will be times when things will look grim, but you cannot let that stop you. Your best you is churning and growing right on the inside of you!

I hope you’re digesting this, because once you do, it’s going to awaken you. It will help you understand why nobody can be you. It will solidify the fact that your gifts cannot be duplicated. When God made you, not only did he make an original, but he stored your gifts in a compartment within you that can only be regurgitated by you and perfected by Him.

As I think about all of this, here are a few things that I believe will help you discoveror uncover your best you. I know it’s helping me!

Even though eyes have not seen or ears have not heard, you must begin the process of recognition:

Laconia Dudley Dunn is a Master Motivator that preaches, teaches coaches and counsels. Also an author, she has the unique responsibility to teach through writing. For more information, you may contact her at laconiadudley@aol.com, on Twitter and Instagram @elledudleydunn, and under the FaceBook name Laconia Dudley Dunn.

Good morning! I was up at the crack of dawn looking for inspiration, primarily for myself but ultimately, to give to you. The bible says, “Seek and you shall find.” (Matt. 7:7) In my quick quest to be inspired, I first pulled out my old bible and found rich scripture and sermon nuggets, highlighted and written in the margins and on sticky notes. There is still nothing like that tactile feeling of turning pages and finding wisdom in written word. Ahhh…I needed that!

Then…I stumbled onto this youtube video which is the topic of today’s post…”You are creators!”

The law attraction says you bring into existence what you think and talk about, feel, believe and/or fear. In other words…YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR LIFE!

The video below is so powerful that I hope you will take just 8 minutes to watch it. However, I do realize that most of you read Life by Design for “inspiration on the run!” That being the case, I’ve extracted four concepts from the law of attraction (as spoken through some very accomplished people)* that I hope you will focus on and begin to apply to your life. As I write them for you, I recommit to apply them to my life too.

You are creators! Your current life is the sum total of what you have thought and said it wold be. For some us, that is scary but true! The great news is that if it’s not what you want it to be, YOU can change it!

You attract what are! You attract what you think, what you feel and what you fear. Change you thoughts and you can change what you are experiencing!

VISUALIZE! - SEE yourself where you want to be. (Hint..,you must know where you want to be to see yourself there! Get a vision of your future and live it in your mind now!

Believe then See! You will get what you want when you BELIEVE it! Instead of asking yourself, “When is it going to come?” Think and act as if, ”Its already here!”

In other words…”Be cautious of the words, thoughts, feelings you engage.’ Just because a thought or feeling comes into your mind, doesn’t mean you have to entertain it! Remember, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he” Prov. 23:7

Okay…I’m going to stop talking (writing) so that you watch the video. It’s so powerful that I may write a part two next week! I’ll close with these words from comedian and actor, Jim Carey, “Every moment is pregnant with the next moment of your life!” We are all very powerful creators and we’re always creating something. The question is, “What will you create your life to be?”

Points to Ponder: What do I really want in my life? What thoughts, words, feelings do I need to engage to allow those things room to manifest?

I want to hear from you! Head over to my blog and leave your reply at www.lifebydesign.typepad.com.

June 18, 2015

Good morning! The Raising Queens Writing Workshop was INCREDIBLE to say the least. Coach Amber Peckham helped us turn our "angry" voice into a "Voice of Victory! It was healing, refreshing and truly transformative. There will be more content like this at the 5th Annual Raising Queens Summit on August 22nd so SAVE THE DATE!

I've heard it said that writing is cathartic. I love that word "cathartic"-it means that it purges and cleanses you. Ultimately, just like after any cleanse, you feel renewed and empowered!

Our life really is someone else's lesson. However, many times, we are so caught up in a situation that we only see it from our own lens. Coach Amber helped all of us reach back into our lives and pull out a situation that made us angry. We wrote about what occurred, how the situation made us feel, and where we are with it today. The description sounds easy enough. After some coaching, she had us go back and write about the same scenario in the other person's perspective. Boy, did I learn some transformative lessons about handling past hurts. Here they are:

1. If someone has hurt you DIG DEEP and LET IT GO-FOR REAL! Often, we carry feelings and emotions to things that we thought we were over! I'd been fine for years talking about the situation and now writing about it. However, once I read aloud, I realized that the sting of what happened is as real today as it was 22 years ago! And then it hit me, it is time ACCEPT WHAT IS and MOVE ON!

2. Every bad situation has the potential to produce GROWTH results! As I reflected on the incident, I discovered that while painful, it had shaped my character in may ways. I had learned the value of friendship, trust and loyalty. And mostly I learned that everything that happens to us has a purpose. Though I would not want to experience it again, the seed of sacrifice of enduring this one situation has grown into a harvest that's produced much more!

3. See things from the OTHER PERSON'S PERSPECTIVE! For all of these years I'd been caught up in "what happened to ME" and "how Ifelt!" It NEVER ONCE occurred to me that the other party had been angered AND injured too...by ME! Once I wrote about it from her eyes, all of a sudden my eyes were opened! This is a powerful concept! How might life change if we saw things from the other person's perspective? Might we be more compassionate and forgiving if we saw things from their eyes? I believe we can settle a whole lot of hurts if we'd allow ourselves to be humble enough to realize that life is not always about "us."

WOW!! THANK YOU Coach Amber Peckham for helping me transform my voice hurt and anger into the Voice of Victory!

Points to Ponder: What angry or hurtful situations am I holding on to that I need to let go? How can I see the situation from the other person's perspective to find healing for myself?

Writing truly is "cathartic" I hope you will take some time to crack open your journal and find out for yourself! When you do, leave me your comments. I'd love to hear from you!