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Friday, November 09, 2012

PR All-St★rs 2, EP 3: Is It Art or Is It Vandalism?

This week's challenge is all about art, something called "Aerosol art" which looks a lot like graffiti, which looks a lot like vandalism.

And there were a lot of vandals in the workroom this week, creating a piece of wearable, aerosol art, AKA Wearasol Art.

I made that up.

You're welcome.

let's Rip....

ALTHEA

"I'm really excited to spray paint on fabrics.

I create my own prints for my mainline..."

Did she say "mainline"? I got a heroin vibe from that. Just sayin'.

Her print is pretty, but the challenge wasn't pretty. It was graffiti and this reads less graffiti than it does Mall Mom buying a new dress because the touring company of The Lion King is coming to Podunk next week.

It is pretty, but even Althea felt it wasn't loud enough.

To get noticed or to get cut.

Safe.

ANDRAE"It's exciting to know the tricks of the trade"

Translation: It's exciting to tell the tricks from the trade.

Andrae works my last nerve. He seems to be on the show to be on the show, not to design, and this mess is a perfect example.

Is it on backwards? A bow in the front and a plain white top? A front bustle? And his print is entirely on the back. Now, I don't think it's as atrocious as Laura said, but it did seem to be a misfire.

"She looks like she's in on the joke."

Well, if the joke is that you're still here, then I'll agree. I mean, he squee'd when he got a pass, like this was The Tents and he'd just won.

Oh, Andrae, on the night of The Tent Show, you'll be at the Red Lobster in Passaic, waiting for Tim Gunn.

And he won't show.

CASANOVA

I liked it.

Joanna liked it.

It doesn't look at all graffiti, but it looks pretty.

Had this been the Create A Print and Make A Dress, this might have been a contender.

"My model looks harmonious."

Harmonious, yes, but, as it is, this is just safe.

Pretty, really, but safe.

JOSHUA"This is really kewl! It's exciting to have a challenge surrounded by all this amazing aerosol art"

Josh-speak for: "I'll string a bunch of words together and sound smart.

Fail.

But he thinks he's got this because of all the aerosol hairspray he uses to shellac his mop down. Honey, don't play.

But he scores points for being the first to notice that Ivy's coat is the exact coat she made in Challenge One, except it has a cut-out in the back,.

His dress looks like a Miss Match; the top doesn't work with the bottom. It seriously looks like a Draped drop Cloth from a Pottery Painting Store.

"It looks as though a lot of hard work went into it."

Actually, Josh, it looks like a second grader had some fun while teacher was out of class.

And you're out of class if you think this is good.

It's just ::::sigh:::: safe.

ULI

Last time she was on, all we got from Uli was Miami and St. Tropez and beachy; this time we're getting the Lifetime movie, Uli: Behind The Iron Curtain.

"When the wall came down,

I left right away before they could put it back up."

Well, she should have taken a look back, because the Wall, as Joanna reminded her, was covered in graffiti, and Uli could have used some inspiration.

In the workroom, it was a pretty dress, and a nice, non-aerosol art looking print, but before it hit the catwalk, Uli slapped on a pair of cat ears on the shoulders and totally effed it up. I would have sent her Bottom Three--had there not been others more deserving--just for those shoulders.

And, Uli also gets points for worrying about the dresses catching fire; no open flames on the runway!

"I like it, but I don't think it stands out enough."

Make she should have set it on fire, because, without the flames, it simply gets a pass.

LAURA KATHLEEN"I'm not a graffiti artist, but I have spray painted old furniture."

What.A.Cut-up!

And, what a bitch. Laura Kathleen, who dogs Ivy for being the Evil One on her season, has apparently decided that's the way to go, because she dogs everyone. She starts on Althea because they are both using the same spray colors, and Laura thinks it's a little curious.

No, honey, it's a little purple and yellow. Build a bridge.

She calls Kayne's look a Circus, but her look has more of a tent feel, with a View To A Vah-Jay-Jay, too short, rising in the middle hemline. Laura made up some excuse about why she had gone so short but it made such little sense I quickly forgot it.

When Joanna Coles questions her--first about the crotchety hem--about whether or not it's Art, I think it sent Laura into panic mode, or Piano Mode. She grabbed some old grandma shawl, and fringed the back of the dress for no apparent reason other than, I guess, in Laura World, ugly makes a statement.

i liked the print, though it doesn't say graffiti, but it was, well, yes, ugly.

"The hemline is a little short...it could me in the bottom."

Ya think? Georgina thought it looked like two dresses; an elegant top, and an ugly ass, too short skirt. Isaac, in a way only Isaac can, said, and I quote: "I like the idea of the piano shawl fringe. I like the idea, but I don't like it."

Tagliapietra thought it needed to be longer; I think he was as a'scurred of a runway vagina as was I, while his partner in Plaid Bearness, Jeffrey Costello, called it wonky. Not Heidi gave it a kind of WTF Fringe look.

But, as happens, a couple of something uglier walked the catwalk and Laura got a pass.

KAYNE

He's up for the challenge; the challenge of hitting on the three graffiti artists before staring his work. And then he takes the challenge too literally, basically copying some of what he's seen at Aerosol Art Park. There is no Kayne Beauty Queen in the painting, so he goes Velvet Plunging Neck and Mermaid Skirt in the design.

He also decides to stir the pot about Laura, telling Ivy that Laura brags about how much money her family has and how much things cost. I think Kayne wants to get in on the BitchFest.

Speaking of bitches, and I use that term here with love, and a soupçonof fear, Joanna Coles has one question for Kayne's dress: Is it hideous, or is it fashion?"

For me, the answer was "A bit of both. I kinda liked it....until the judges pointed out why I shouldn't.

"My model looks like Kate Middleton."

Um, no she doesn't, and even if she did you big queen, this isn't Project Clone Kate Middleton. It's about fashion, and yours was not good.

Isaac said it had the most dramatic top, but the top wasn't part of the challenge. Jeffrey thought the ribbons gave the model a sense of girth--which is never good--and even a Big Ol Bear like Jeffery doesn't want to look, um, girth-y. Robert thought the panels that formed the fishtail were too nondescript that you couldn't tell what they were, while Georgina said it had a lot of problems and no fun.

Still...Kayne got saved because of ....

SUEDE"Suede has never, ever, in his entire life, held a can of spray paint in his hand."

Which answers the question: Do you use a paint roller to dye your hair all those colors?

And, I guess because he was so nervous about trying something new, he suddenly went dotty. He painted dots on his fabric, and then cut out dots to sew on his fabric. It was all dotty, all the time, and, well, I could be wrong, but I thought I saw a bus ticket home on one of those dots.

The dottiness continued when he explained his dress as being inspired by Earth, Sky and Stars, which, I think, means he was high as a kite in the workroom. That's the only explanation that makes sense.

"I'm confident I can win."

Cue ominous drumming.

His look inspired Casanova to say something in his broken English that even Carlos couldn't translate. But, I did hear a "What the f**k."

I came up with my own word: Suede-tastrophy.

"I'm in awe."

I think they cut out the rest of the sentence, because I could have sworn he should have said, "I'm in awe-ful danger of getting my purple-haired ass kicked off this show."

Georgian liked the soft, femininity of the dress but lamented the abundance of dots. She thought he should have set himself on pause for a hot minute before going completely dots. Isaac dubbed it unwearable, Party City Costume, and I think he spit on it.Carlyn liked the fantasy, but then she's into nightmares and zombies at prom. Jeffrey loved the hem, which shows, of a real fashion designer can only comment on the hemline of your dress, you need to go.

"Suede out."

Bob happy.

IVY"This challenge makes me think outside the box."

Not really, Ivy. you've made this jacket before, and that bit of sheer on the bottom is something you are doing all too often, but should stop.

This was the episode that was previewed to make it seem like Ivy was Back Top Bitch. But, as it turns out, it was the episode where Laura Kathleen complained that Ivy was a bitch, while she herself was being The Bitch.

Maybe Ivy has turned over a new leaf; I mean she even stooped--and I say stooped because I saw ass crack when she did it--to help Casanova with his graffiti project, so maybe Nice Ivy is real?

I'll reserve judgement.

Her outfit is about comic books. Pow! And Girl Power. Bam! And she'll paint words like, um, Pow and Bam--and, strangely enough, Tenacity--onto the fabrics and create a suit that the girl can shed when she becomes a superhero.

Meaning, I guess, she's NekkidGirl?

When it hit the runway, I kinda wished the girl was nekkid--yes, I wished the girl was nekkid--because this just seemed like a hot mess.

"It tells a great story"

And I think I'll wait for the movie. On Lifetime. Starring Lindsay Lohan.

But Georgina thought it was, ahem, well-done, modern and sensual. I've scheduled an appointment for Georgina at LensCrafters. Isaac thought it too wordy, but loved the surprise cut-out in the back. Guest judge, and Anna Wintour fave, Robert Tagliapietra, thought it was a great place to start, but that the sheer white on the bottom--which Ivy said, taking the superhero theme way too far, could be used as a cape--might have been better in orange or read.

Ivy gets Third Place.

ANTHONY RYAN"In the South we don't have Aerosol Art buildings, so this was exciting."

Well, we do have Aerosol Sheds.

I hated his graffiti. I thought it was an easy way out, to just spray paint lines across a fabric. And I like Anthony Ryan--he's just adorkable, with that bouffant and those big glasses--but I thought he was out of his element and trying to skate by.

But then he took his pieces and created something that was fun and flirty and girly, and, well, art.

"It's fun! It's graphic!"

And it has this season's hottest trend: a cut-out in the back. Don't get me wrong, I liked the cut-out back or front, but it seems like the cut-out back or front appears on most dresses in every episode. I'd like something new...a cut-out ass?

Well, maybe I shouldn't deign.

Georgina loves the proportion--something she says Anthony always gets right--and the nipped waist and, yeeeeeeeees, the cut-out. Not Heidi also loved the cut-out, though Jeffrey thought it looked a little young; is that a bad thing?

Isaac simply called it "Divine."

And not the Drag Queen.

Tagliapietra thought those simple lines looked like "tags' an aerosol artist/graffiti artist/vandal might leave on a building, and Anthony Ryan might have won, but he played it a bit too safe this week. He did that in his season, and suddenly he was gone.,

Emilio really doused his fabrics with paint, which turned them into stiff panels of, well, paint, so he decided to use that to his advantage and made a pseudo-jean jacket. with bold colors.

And Emilio never met a bod color he didn't just love. He painted and splotched and dripped all over the fabric, so much so, that Joanna Coles remarked that it looked like blood droppings. Well,s core one for Emilio, who grew up on the mean streets of NYC and knows all about blood spatter, because, get this, wait for it, he turned....the... fabric...upside,down!

OM-effing-G!

"Hot. Strong. Beautiful. Confident. It's a showstopper!"

I didn't like it, at first. I thought it was too cartoon-y and too loud. I threw it in the Bottom Three Barrel and then those judges followed me over, fished it out, and began raving about it.

Carolyn loved the shape of the dress, while Georgina loved the silhouette, though she and the Bear Boys thought the belt seemed a wee bit small. Isaac thought the top looked like a marble-y fabric--not good--but when you see it paired with the skirt you get the graffiti out of it. Robert Tagliapietra said it was an honesty piece.

M'kay. But, by now, I was getting it. I could see his vision and i started to like it. It had more of an edge than Anthony Ryan's, which is what i think helped Emilio score his first win.

MY TAKE

I really liked this challenge because it was about art and design and creativity, and not product placement. i mean, there is so much ProdPla on this show, I was worried we were gonna see all kinds of ads for spray paints!

I';m also happy Suede went home. I want the people who want to design to be on the show, not the posers who just wanna be on TV.

Andrae!

Laura!

And, I'm leaning ab it toward Team Ivy--not to win, of course, but over Team Laura--because she's really not being a bitch. That has been taken up by Laura and it looks like next week the Bitch Might Hit The Fan.

6 comments:

Ok, I know that this is bucking against the masses, but I adored Suedes dress. What I saw was "Starry Night" translated into a dress. It was wearable art, his was the most original dress there. Everyone else took their painted fabrics and did the usual with them, short dress, jacket and skirt, long gown, what ever it is they are known for, but not Suede.

I am sick sick sick of Laura kathleen, sick! Lord when will she just go away? And whats her deal with Ivy? Yes, Ivy was a huge mean bitch on her season, but so far she hasnt said one mean thing to anyone, and shes being helpful! Can WE vote Laura Kathleen off the island?