A former teacher at the quaintly-named Coatbridge College in Canada has finally been struck off the teacher registry after allegedly making improper sexual suggestions to female students via webcam. 37-year-old Gavin Bradford was said to have asked 20 girls (some as young as 12) to turn on their webcams while they were chatting with him online, whereupon he would make additional requests for them to smear themselves with ketchup and eggs, and pour sour — not fresh, God forbid we waste any — milk down their underwear.

The BBC reports Bradford returned to his home in Glasgow after being fired from Coatbridge in 2010, and has just now been judged "unfit to teach" by the General Teaching Council in Scotland. Making a case for understatement of the year, GTC presiding officer Paul Reid said that Bradford's conduct "fell significantly short of the standards expected of a registered teacher." That's one way to put it, but there are so many words in the English language and maybe some combination of the following would be more appropriate: gross, creepy, gross, wasteful, gross, messy, gross.