A reader asked, “I recently had a miscarriage and feel like I cannot get back to normal. I am depressed and have no energy. I am angry all the time at my husband, which he does not deserve. Me and my husband are devastated. How can I get back to my normal self after my miscarriage?”

Having a miscarriage is not only physically, but also emotionally difficult. It is normal to feel a range of feelings that may include anger, sadness, guilt or shock. Keep in mind that being around friends and family who have children may be painful. During this time it is OK to give yourself permission to miss social gatherings or family events.

Men and women deal with loss differently, so couples need to share their feelings and thoughts openly with each other. A pregnancy loss can affect a couple’s relationship. It can bring you closer together or rip you apart. It is important that you both give yourself time and space to heal. You and your spouse may go through the stages of grief, and the grieving process can take days, weeks or months.

You may feel guilty or angry at yourself, but keep in mind that it is very unlikely to have happened because of something you did or didn’t do. At times overwhelming grief may take over, along with feeling shocked. Exhaustion and being unable to sleep is also common. It is important to allow yourself to feel what you feel. Having a miscarriage is a devastating loss.

Some ways to cope with a miscarriage include:

• Take care of yourself both emotionally and physically. Keep a journal and write down your feelings, particularly if you don’t have anyone to talk to.

• Take some time off. After your miscarriage you may find yourself not wanting to be around people which is not uncommon. However, it can help to be around others who are going through the same thing you are. Sometimes local hospitals offer a support group for coping with a pregnancy loss. There are also numerous online miscarriage support groups available.

• Try to keep yourself busy. Take up a new hobby. Most people never get around to starting their new hobby, however this is a good time to distract you from your daily life, especially if you want to try to conceive again, but have been advised to wait.

After a miscarriage it is important to take care of yourself by eating healthy, managing stress and exercising.

Couples should check in with each other on a daily basis by talking about how the other is feeling. Some couples may want to try to get pregnant after a miscarriage, while some cannot even think about trying again. Let your feelings guide you as to when to try again.