Jesus’ Death, Resurrection Not Quite Big Enough Reasons for Boss to Give You Day Off

Noting that there were still a lot of important reports to be filed within the office, your boss clarified Friday that Jesus’ death and resurrection were not quite big enough reasons to give you the day off from work.

“I understand that Christ’s crucifixion and miraculous rise from the dead may be important events in world history, but we have a couple important deadlines coming up that need to take priority,” he told the office. “I think the standard two-day weekend is sufficient for you to honor this holy event which sparked dramatic changes in global events.”

While a number of coworkers requested Friday off to spend the long weekend with friends and family, he reminded them of the fact that your office was still behind on compiling the quarterly sales reports, and that the COO was riding him hard about the Runciter account.

“It’s not like it’s Labor Day or something. If anything we’ve all been spending too much time with our loved ones,” he said. “I think everyone would agree that productivity is more important than emotional and spiritual health.”

He added as you were leaving the office Friday afternoon, “Remember, make sure you’re checking your email this weekend. Happy Easter!”