Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Sober Snapshots?

As I listen to Tool’s "Sober" and browse the photos on my MySpace, I notice a recurring theme in about 95 percent of the pictures taken - I’m drunk or most likely well on my way to an enhanced version of myself. The thing is, I really don’t think I drink that much. I know I used to... drink and drown in Mexico on Thursday nights and a subsequent absence in History Friday morning my Freshman year at NMSU. Tailgating in its many forms... whether it was Delta Chi’s jungle juice or Cold Duck with professors at Texas Tech at nine in the morning, good times, pictures taken. Weddings, wine festivals, Tom Selleck’s birthday (Amanda, you are my hero), it seems like it doesn’t take much to convince me it’s a holiday worth celebrating with a totty.

I guess my pending trip to Phoenix this weekend got me thinking about my crap camera (hate you) and the fact that we’ll probably be taking loads of pictures of drunken times with Jenny... I am actually kind of scared. I can’t drink like I used to and the last two times Evelyn and Jason had destination drink fests where I was involved, I vomited (once in Ruidoso, once in Dallas). But there’s nothing quite like telling the story of trying to stealthily remove a full beer from the Jack Daniel’s Old No. 7 Club after a Mavs game, only to be stopped by the security guard, whom you take a photo of moments later to document how bad he sucked for not letting you take an open container into public.

Ah, so many classic drunken photographs, so little time. My all-time favorite has to be with the walker outside of the CVS by Amanda’s in DC... That was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I so took advantage of it. Killer.

So, wish me luck and look for a new album of photos posted next week if you’re so inclined. Hopefully I’ll find some other cool stuff to pose with (don’t get any weird ideas)...

2 comments:

sack
said...

The best way to alleviate this problem would be to constantly sing Bette Midler songs. By utilizing this prevention method, you will be unable to drink any booze (have you ever tried drinking and singing at the same time?...not terribly doable). Please keep in mind that this method will also prevent you from drinking any sort of beverage (not to mention the luxuries of food and sleep). You might also get some strange looks; particularly when exiting a restroom stall.

But hey, everything has its price. Why else would I have this giant tattoo of the opening scene from the Brady Bunch on my back (you know, all the boxes with faces inside, looking around at each other)? I'll tell you why, because everything has it's price, that's why.

LOL. Well, mission was not accomplished because I drank. A lot. And yomited Sunday morning after waking up, feeling fine, and drinking a bunch of water and orange juice. It actually wasn't entirely unpleasant on the way back up... hahaha.

Speaking of exiting bathroom stalls, I encountered the most foul bathroom attendant at a restaurant across from Chase Field on Saturday. I think she was daylighting as a bathroom attendant to disguise her income from pimping and/or dealing meth.