Why Are More Women Changing Their Names After Getting Married?

As I plan my wedding/prepare for marriage, I'm realizing that there are a lot of weird, outdated rituals associated with getting hitched. Like the single lady bouquet toss (so not happening). And the whole husband carrying-you-across-the-house-threshold thing (uh, we've been living in sin for years).

But one of the more serious ones is the issue of changing your last name, which most of us don't actually find old-fashioned, as it turns out: A recent poll by YouGov showed that a full 61 percent of respondents—which included women and men—said women should take their husbands' last names, while less then half said a man should be "allowed" to take his wife's instead (and 34 percent said men should not be allowed to do so).

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This survey was only of 1,000 people, but the respondents' sentiments seem to match those of another study of 19,000 women done by TheKnot in 2011, which found that only eight percent of just-married women decided not to change their last names. That number was way down from the 90s, when 23 percent of women reported retaining their maiden names.

This should-I-or-shouldn't-I name change debate is nothing new. But why is the decision to make the change surging among women today? Do we covet those custom Mrs.-monogrammed robes and honeymoon bikinis that seem to be a staple now for brides? Is the renewal of retro housewifery making us more traditional? On a practical level, do we simply want our names to be the same as our future children's?

Surely, all of these reasons play a role to varying degrees depending on the woman. However, Harvard University economics prof Claudia Goldin, who released a study in 2004 showing that fewer women opted to use their maiden names after marriage, has a different theory. She thinks that the rise in name changing actually has to do with the social strides women have made—basically, while retaining your given name was a way to make a statement for equality in the 70s, 80s, and 90s (when name-keeping peaked), it's less important today. While we still have a ways to go, women are more independent than ever and we have more opportunities for success in education and the workplace than women of previous generations.

Therefore, Goldin says, name-changing has taken on new meaning: It's now a symbol of commitment and unity, rather than dependency or even patriarchy. "There's an inner urge to bond — and [there are] crazy glues that bond people together," Goldin says. "Sharing a name is one of them."

As for me, I kind of have the best of both worlds because of my career: When I get married next summer, I will change over to my husband's last name both legally and personally—yep, I've already got my "married" Gmail account reserved!—however I will keep my maiden name as my "writing name," since I've already established myself professionally as Burton. (Plus, it doesn't hurt that I kinda won the married name lottery—my guy's last name is "St. Clair.")

While I'm lucky enough to have it both ways, I think every woman has to do what feels right for her. My best friend who got married last summer kept her name, while my BFF who's getting hitched in August is changing hers to her new husband's. They are just as committed to—and in love with—their guys.