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SURPRISE! The Protesters are Here

Hey scribes, looking for protesters? We’ve just received an internal memo being sent to employees at 400 N. Capitol, which houses C-SPAN and Fox News. The warning? Great for editors. But also a letdown. Surprise parties just aren’t what they used to be.

To: All SSO Tenants:

Please be advised that the Hall of States is expecting protesters today regarding states’ budget issues. We have worked with Lincoln Property Companies and the Metropolitan Police Department to mitigate any potential issues.

Thefollowing processes have been instituted for today between 10:30 AM and 2:00PM: 1. All guests will be announced via telephone to the respective suites prior to entering the building. 2. It is imperative that tenants have their ACCESS BADGES with them at all times.

When the protesters arrive at approximately 12:30PM: 3. The two revolving doors at either side of the lobby will be locked, allowing guests to enter only through the center door. 4. In order to avoid any crowds that may form, you may enter through the garage at the E Street side of the building. 5. A security officer will be stationed at the garage entrance.