Dear Hollywood, Get Some New Ideas: Goodfellas, Titanic 3D

Last week, it was announced that AMC, original drama channel numero uno, would be officially backing what has been an under the radar development for a television series based on the movie Goodfellas.

My first reaction to the news, which trickled through the intertubes in the last year or so, was disgust. Goodfellas? Really? That's like taking something wonderful, in every respect, like a fluffer-nutter sandwich, cutting it up into small, bite-sized chunks and then stomping on them with a shoe that you just used to step in dog crap. Why would you want to try and tackle a masterpiece?

Some sources say the show will follow the original movie's main character, Henry Hill, during his time in the witness protection program (snooze), while others say it will be more of a backstory to the Goodfellas gang. The backstory of Goodfellas is pretty much how the first hour of Goodfellas starts off, no? If we are talking about a full-on prequel, i.e., how this mob family came to power back in the 1950/60s, is this The Godfather? Because we already got our full dose of that story (thank you, Godfather 3).

I have to say I am conflicted. As it has been announced the TV series will be penned by the film's original screenwriter Nicholas Pileggi. Pileggi also wrote the book the movie is based on, Wiseguys. It's been rumored, as well, that Goodfellas director Martin Scorsese is also on board, in what capacity, though, has not been directly stated. Pileggi and Scorsese, the two masterminds behind the film, might be able to turn this rehashed idea into something acceptable. Or not. I guess only time can tell what this shapes into. One request though, let's not bring back the stars from the movie and give them cameos with cheesy references to the original, like someone telling a young Joe Pesci to "go get his shine box." That would be horrific.

What I am not conflicted about in any way, shape or form is Titanic in 3D, which takes over theaters on April 6. I won't be the first or the last to say that this is the biggest waste of time and nothing more than a means for James Cameron to rake in another gazillion dollars from the movie-going public. The guise under which they are bringing this back in 3D, is to thrill and delight a new generation of people that were not fortunate enough to see the movie on the big screen. Whatever! I saw the movie when it came out in theaters, and I am no better a person for it (I may even be worse).

I picture James Cameron to be something like Scrooge McDuck. He has a big vault somewhere in the Hollywood Hills filled with gold coins that he likes to swim through daily. Beware though, Cameron, as you swim through all that money, there might lay an undiscovered, under-money creature like the one from The Abyss and one day, it will get you.