MELVIN DURSLAG

Are the Marathon Runners Smarter Than Horses Are?

You picture a guy rolling in from Bialystok, not aware of what's happening, standing on Figueroa, watching a bunch of guys come running past in their underwear.

The visitor scratches his head. "Must have been a raid on the chicken ranch," he says to his neighbor. "The clients went out the windows."

"You're looking at the L.A. Marathon," he is informed. "It unifies the city."

"For something that unifies the city," he answers, "I see an awful lot of cops around."

At home, the marathon is carried in its entirety on television. As programming, the spectacle of one running 26 miles, 385 yards, is a lasting thrill.

"What does watching a marathon on TV mean to you?" a viewer is asked.

"It means accomplishment," he responds. "At the start of the race, I put a turkey in a 350 oven, drive down and get the oil changed, stroll through the mall--and I'm back in time to see the finish."

Meantime, ramp closures are announced for three freeways, and little old ladies trying to drive to church on Sunday are asked to take alternate routes.

Shutting down of streets for the marathon has an economic impact on houses of worship. The pastor of a church on Sunset Boulevard tells the Times religion writer that the plate draws up short by a thousand bucks.

The L.A. Marathon starts and finishes in the area of Exposition Park, but the Coliseum isn't used for fear the commissioners would lose the race to Oakland.

They lost the Rams to Anaheim, the Bruins to Pasadena and the Lakers and Kings to Inglewood.

The winner of the men's division in the marathon this year is a Pedro Ortiz of Colombia, who is richer not because he is mountain grown but because the sponsor unloads $26,385 in cash on him and Mercedes-Benz gives him one of its cars.