Somewhere on the outskirts of reason... Or where good television can be found.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The True Brothers 'Hymns And Other Song We Wrote Ourselves'

Are we meant to feel anxious when visiting our cell phone store?

It’s right up there with the doctor’s office.

You make appointments. You get to your appointment on time and you wait. If you don’t have an appointment, your wait just got longer. And there’s sick people hacking up a storm within an arm’s reach. Even in the summertime.

But there aren’t ANY magazines lying around or a wall poster with the first signs of diabetes to read. You just have to walk around or sit looking at walls because your cell phone is having an issue. When you don’t have the Internet at your fingertips, you’ll find there’s nothing to keep you occupied at the cellular store.

Recently, I had some issues with my cell phone. I have a Blackberry and yes, I get tired of hearing about iPhones. So save it, you iHoles. I’m not going to follow sheep into Apple’s poison fields. You’re going to have to drag me in biting and urinating.

I showed up with an appointment set for a Thursday evening. My charging/USB port was loose and getting a charge was nearly impossible. I suppose after nearly two years something had to give out like Ace Frehley’s liver. I only turned it on when it was necessary. You know, for my Foursquare check-ins.

I thought it was going to be an “easy” fix. Pop open the back, twist a couple of screws tight, and I’d be back on the streets faster than a London leatherboy. But I was told to come back ten minutes before closing to pick up my repaired device.

After careful deliberation, I decided against a trip to the local watering hole around the corner to wait out the time. I just told the guy that I’d pick it up in the morning. I was calling it a day and keeping twenty bucks in my pocket instead of converting it into beer for my gut.

When I showed up the next morning I was told that my “replacement” phone didn’t arrive with the overnight packages. So making the decision to leave my smart phone in ICU was the right one. I would have been really pissed if I had of blown my money and wasted two hours to find out that I wasn’t leaving that night with my cell phone.

They handed me back my phone with no battery life left. They must have left the damn thing all night without even a clue as to how hard it was to charge. I couldn’t even check in at the cellular store. I was a little irritated.

I was left with two big challenges for the weekend. I had to find a creative way to charge my phone and keep that battery alive until Monday. And for most of the weekend, I would be out of contact. There would be little Foursquare activity, sporadic emailing, and very few to no text messages. Adhering to the last one would be like asking Lindsay Lohan to settle down and fly right, but I managed to pull it off.

There’s more to cover with my cell phone replacement odyssey, but it’s going to have to wait until later.