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Monday, October 10, 2011

Life and times so bright I’ve got to wear shades! Part 1

Life is certainly in flux these days, which has left me with a great deal to catch up on. In something resembling chronological order I’ll give it my best shot.

The Homestead is coming along fabulously. Our microwave has been installed. We are not so hopeless as to require someone to come over and plug it in for us, the microwave actually seconds as a range hood so some handyman stuff was required.

All stainless steel, chrome and flat panel buttons it is a veritable chef in a computer chip that can be programmed to undertake an extraordinarily complex array of cooking assignments. I’m just happy that we can at last make popcorn in the country, and, not of minor importance, reheat coffee - all for less than a thousand dollars.

The more- than-ample deck had been coming together nicely in the later weeks of August. In the absence of reason and forethought we have decided to go ahead with an outdoor shower that will serve no particular purpose except to ensure that we have mosquito bites everywhere.

Of tangential interest we can’t seem to get Hydro Quebec to send us a bill or even acknowledge our existence. I attempted to contact them twice before leaving Canada but their customer service website has baffled me. From what I can tell you need to be a customer already to use the site. I did send a message to the general mailbox (because that is all that is provided) pleading with them to let us pay for the electricity that we have used to which they responded a few days later with an email instructing me how to go onto the website and went on to inform me that once I entered my customer information I would get all the assistance that I needed. I sent a second note thanking Hydro Quebec for their prompt, if not utterly useless (I didn’t use those words...exactly), response and reiterated that unfortunately I am not a customer and therefore cannot enter my customer information. There has been no response thus far. The catch-22 clearly eludes them.

If anyone reading this works for Hydro Quebec, or knows the mystic incantation we need to make to get our electricity bill – please help us. In the meantime we look forward to having our power shut off and being sent to collection.

Within a few days of each other, Robert and I went off to New York City – primarily to celebrate Robert’s birthday over the Labour Day weekend. We did so in style at F.A.O. Schwarz, the giant toy store that was featured in the 1988 Tom Hanks film, “Big”. Guests, royalty among them, initially gathered in the courtyard of the Metropolitan Club. Then the toy soldier, which serves as the doorman for F.A.O Schwarz, appeared and trumpeted as a prelude to his announcement that we were changing location.

All the birthday guests were given a musical instrument and played them like no one was listening as we marched down 5th Avenue. Though the instruments were a clue many were still guessing at our final destination when F.A.O. Schwarz came into sight. Of note - yours truly picked the venue. Do I know my guy or what!