Jack Nicholson Is Definitely Not Going To The Superbowl

When asked by the paparazzi if he was going to the Super Bowl in Indianapolis Jack Nicholson responded in his get-off-my-lawn voice that he’d “rather drink bleach.”

Nicholson was born in New York so it would be logical to assume he’s a Giants fan but since he now lives in L.A. and roots for the Lakers as if it were a full-time job it’s impossible to know where he stands.

Your first thought might be that Jack just hates football and only prays at the alter of basketball but I have another theory. I believe he said he’d rather just bleach because of the spectacle of the thing.

Fact: Nicholson is a notorious recluse (besides his sideline behavior at Staples Center) who barely ever gives interviews. He told the Daily Mail’s Louise Gannon in the beginning of last year that he sometimes starts to “feel trapped in this material world.”

He also said that the last time he was in New York he didn’t leave his hotel room for a single night.“You adjust your life to your circumstances, and I can spend a lot of time on my own….my friends are always telling me, ‘Jack, you need to get out more.”’

Since the Super Bowl is the most overblown event in America where patriotism and consumerism get married and have a million Betsy Ross trashcan babies, it makes perfect sense that he wouldn’t want to be there.