Has anyone one else felt angry and frustrated by starting a new medication for conditions like high blood pressure or high cholesterol, only to find that you experience numerous and severe side effects that aren’t even listed by the manufacturer? It’s only when you begin to research beyond the web pages of the drug companies or other health care oriented sites, that you begin to find reports of other patients who experience the same symptoms you do. I seem to be very sensitive to medications, and experience severe and intolerable side effects to many medications. The treatment seems worse than the disease. In some cases, it seems that doctors only know about the side effects that are acknowledged by the drug makers, and don’t believe me when I tell them that I have other side effects that I’m sure are caused by the medications. I refuse to take medicine that makes me feel sick and ruins my quality of life. What are your experiences?

“We are responsible not for the outcomes, but only for the ingredients.”

from Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

After hosting several family members for the past week in our small apartment, the above quote seemed particularly apt. We added the best ingredients we could to each day; a welcoming atmosphere, good food, fun activities, and lots of laughter, then hoped it all mixed together into a happy week. And it did. Of course there were a few mishaps, as is bound to happen when a group of people live in close proximity for a week. Lost phones, misplaced, clothing, and plans that did not work out, but the recipe came together, and the overall experience felt like a holiday feast, all of us replete with fun and time together.

We have the usual accoutrements for hosting overnight guests in a small apartment; an air mattress, and, well, that’s about it really. If we push the sofas back a bit, the mattress can be squeezed into the living room space, and we can all take turns in one bathroom. There are a few floor spaces where suitcases can be opened for clothing deployment, and a couple of extra mirrors that can be used for make-up applications and hair styling when the bathroom is in use. Our washer and dryer sees frequent operation keeping up with the towels used at the beach and pool, and the porch railing serves as a clothes line for drying bathing suits and life jackets, while kayak paddles drip-dry in the corner next to sandy flip-flops.

Conversation, laughter, comfort, relaxation, nature, good food, and times together; the ingredients for a family feast!

Snores call out
the moon as I
slide into slumber
dark dreams rumble
in my throat rolling over
And again in my mind,
rasping across a dry
tongue like pounding
hooves chasing dreams
in a desert.
am I here?
And I wake exhausted
from my night’s journey
quiet breath lifting day