Strap yourselves in, folks. Get ready to be amazed. Take a look at the clip above and you'll see that Cristiano Ronaldo has done it again.

No, not score a goal/demolish a defence/chastise a team mate. Far more entertainingly, he has made another advert for one of his ever-expanding range of CR7 branded products.

This time, he's flogging shoes. CR7 Footwear no doubt features all sorts of high-end gear to wear on your feet. But we're more interested in the the borderline bonkers advert you can see in the video.

Let's take a look at the finest/funniest/freakiest moments from this glorious bit of Ronaldo-ness:

1. This incredible gaze

Look at that happy, wistful expression on his beautiful face.

Clearly he's thinking back to a glorious moment in his past…

(Image: Getty)

2. Followed swiftly by this less pleasant glare

Oh dear. Something appears to have intruded on Cristiano's lovely daydream. His happy bit of reminiscing has been ruined by something unpleasant popping into his mind.

Something that irks him. Something that keeps jumping out from the recesses of his mind when he's in a happy place, turning his lovely smile into the face of a bulldog chewing a wasp.

What could that be?

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3. This disaster

It doesn't matter how cool, handsome successful and rich you are.

SOCKS AND SANDALS WILL NEVER BE OK.

4. This inexplicable decision

Undoubtedly the most disturbing bit of the whole thing comes when one of the world's greatest footballers is filmed stroking the leg of a woman stood behind him.

Seriously. We're not making this up. Someone actually thought this was a good idea.

"I know what will sell these shoes for you, Ronnie. We'll get a model in a leotard to drape her leg over your shoulder, as if she's about to mount you like a horse. You can then slowly run your hand up and down her calf, all the while pulling a seductive face that will terrify the audience."

GENIUS.

5. Yep, that woman is still there

*shudder*

6. This amazing coat

Just take a look at that jacket. It takes a special kind of man to pull off that sort of look.

Speaking of which, anyone else thinking we might just have got a glimpse into CR7™'s fashion future?

(Image: Getty)

7. The crotch shot

Yes, its all about the shoes. Yes, they need to have a close-up of the footwear they're trying to sell.

But we're pretty sure that is the closest close-up of Ronaldo's crotch that has ever been caught on camera…