The stand-up comic did not disappoint in monologue welcoming viewers to “the black World Cup”

Chris Rock opened the 2014 BET Awards with all the weaponry he needs — a microphone, a stage and eight minutes of everyone’s undivided attention.

The world-class stand-up comic greeted the crowd with the following: “Welcome to the 2014 BET Awards — the black World Cup.” Rock then recapped the year that was in black entertainment, beginning with 2014’s biggest music stories.

On Solange Knowles’ now-infamous attack on her brother-in-law Jay Z in an elevator, Rock joked: “Solange hit the right rapper … Jay’s a businessman now, he can’t just go punching girls in the face — he’s got a meeting with Nabisco in the morning.”

On Dr. Dre getting $3 billion dollars for selling Beats by Dre to Apple, the comic summed up an old hip-hop beef: “It looks like the West Coast won — sorry Puff.”

Next, Rock hit TV and film. First, social commentary on the small screen: “A lot of people think ‘Scandal’ is a hit because of Kerry [Washington, a nominee] — and she’s great in it — but the real reason that ‘Scandal’s’ a hit is because every Thursday at 10 o’clock there’s a white president.”

Then Rock proved he is an equal opportunity offender. He quipped, “Lot of excellent black movies, man — and some of them don’t even have Kevin Hart in them.”

On the Donald Sterling racism controversy Rock commented: “Now let me get this straight: an 83-year-old white man doesn’t like black people. Is that news? First of all, a black man couldn’t look him in the eye until he was 45. The first black person he even met he got for Christmas.”

Following the laughter and applause break, Rock continued: “Don’t make me defend Donald Sterling, [but] what exactly did he say? ‘I don’t want my woman around black basketball players.’ Me neither! Are you kidding me? Who the hell wants their woman around black basketball players?”

Watch the video:

Later the comedian handed out Roscoe’s chicken and waffles to celebrities in the audience: