Atlas Shrugged: The Mocking

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Poor Jonah

Poor Jonah Goldberg keeps searching bookstores for his book, but can't find it. I would wonder if it were because they were all bought up, but Jonah, being conservative, thinks it's because someone is being mean to him. Or maybe just ignoring him, which is worse. Being a victim is fine because you can whine and cry to make people sorry for you, but being ignored means no teevee appearances, no by-line, and no money.

When you go on a college campus tour you can hit up Young Republicans for beer money, but otherwise you have to go to your wealthy wife, and while that's fine for John McCain, Jonah's just not in the same league, bank balance-wise. You can call your wife "fair Jessica" all you want, but it doesn't make it any less embarrassing to have to go to her for help paying the bills. If I'm wrong and Jonah makes enough money to afford to live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan on his pay from National Review On-line, I deeply apologize for saying Jonah Goldberg is kept by his wife and can't support his family on his own brains and talent.

Maybe Jonah would feel better if he went to the same Borders I visited recently, only a few miles from the home of former President Bush. There were five copies of his book there, and anyone could have picked one up at once, if they wanted one.

If we all wait long enough, the price on Jonah's book will be a pittance. All the neighborhood kids could pool their allowances and go buy a crate. They could be stacked up really high and make a really cool fort.

What else could we do with Jonah's book? Um... Put them into the compost heap and fertilize your flowerbed? Wait, that one isn't even funny. This is supposed to be humorous.