Player Lessons From The Great Male Survey

Player: Lessons From The Great Male Survey

The Great Male Survey of 2009 is complete, and there are a few surprising characteristics that apply to the Player’s area of romantic and sexual expertise. While some of the statistics were expected, others only proved that while men have a workable understanding of that mystery we know as “woman,” we still fall a little short. For instance, there’s a good amount of passiveness and insecurity out there: The majority have withheld the details of their sexual fantasies, and one in every five men would read the private mail of a woman who they perceived to be “up to something.” On the other hand, there are some encouraging results that should bode well for the future — and when next year rolls around, perhaps we’ll find more trends that indicate a rising population of confident, capable and above all else, understanding men. In the meantime, the Player has compiled a list of tips, based on the Great Male Survey results, which should prove useful in bettering your love lives.

Let go of your inhibitions

When I read that 57% of men hadn’t told their wives or girlfriends about their sexual fantasies, I had to frown in disappointment. One of the chief failings of relationships is a lack of intimacy, and more in relation to the Player, this lack of openness closes doors and flies in the face of everything the ladies' man stands for: maintaining a satisfactory love life by remaining open to new ideas and new adventures. On the intimacy side of things, telling a woman your sexual fantasies is an indication of trust and indicates a real willingness to expose the deepest recesses of your soul. Unless your fantasies involve some seriously depraved (or perhaps even dangerous) stuff, the relation of your amorous dreams can only have a positive impact on your relationship. If you’re out cruising the women in true Player fashion, tear down some of the walls that stand between you and your innermost desires.

Take responsibility for the sexual heat

One of the more obvious — and yet hardly surprising — discrepancies found in the survey results is that 76% of men believe that couples with healthy sex lives have sex multiple times per week — and yet, only 33% actually have sex on that consistent basis. Furthermore, less than half of the participants (46%) said they’re only “somewhat satisfied with their sex lives” while another 19% said they’re “not at all satisfied.” One may claim that it’s the age-old problem, in that men never get to have sex as often as they wish. While it may be true that men complain more often about a lack of sex, you would be surprised to learn how often women do the same. They’re just not as loud about it. It takes two to tango and therefore, you must accept at least some of the responsibility; in any relationship, be it a fling or a marriage, the man must keep the sexual heat turned up high. In short, keep things unpredictable and spontaneous.