RIYADH. The so-called 'vagina' is a myth, and women should stop trying to claim that they enjoy sex, says a group of Saudi grand viziers.

The viziers, all experts in modern Saudi scientific fields such as astrology, water divination and alchemy, were speaking at the launch of their new study, 'Between the Cracks: Stop Fannying About With Our Women', which has set out to prove that the 'vagina' is nothing more than an extension of the buttocks.

"Everybody knows that women are non-sexual creatures," said team leader Prince Abdul Abdul Abdul. "This fantasy about a female sexual organ, this subversive and frankly repulsive idea of a 'vagina', is yet another assault on our values and customs by the West."

Senior researcher Abdul Saud agreed. "Ask any man in the Kingdom if his wife has ever showed the slightest bit of enjoyment while fulfilling the nasty but essential work of spawning a male heir, and he will tell you that sex for women is, and always has been, utterly joyless."

"Until now, we naturally assumed that this lack of pleasure was the fault of the woman partner, perhaps due to some inherent psychological handicap shared by all women," said Grand Vizier of Numerology, Professor Faisal Abdul Saud. "But now we have shown that women are not only stunted psychologically, but physically too."

The team admitted that they had not questioned any actual women during the course of their research, since this would have required having a conversation with one, which is frowned upon in the Saudi scientific community.

Asked if they had ever heard of the clitoris, they confirmed that they had.

"Clitoris was a common name for girl-children in the mid-Victorian era," said Prof. Saud, adding that it sounded quaint and "faintly reminiscent of flowers".

a pathetic and unfunny knock off of the Onion and other ' satiric ' internet sites... no doubt soon gone when a fatwa is issued against it by Muslims who see no humour in it.. which, in this instance, they'd be right.

RIYADH. The so-called 'vagina' is a myth, and women should stop trying to claim that they enjoy sex, says a group of Saudi grand viziers.

The viziers, all experts in modern Saudi scientific fields such as astrology, water divination and alchemy, were speaking at the launch of their new study, 'Between the Cracks: Stop Fannying About With Our Women', which has set out to prove that the 'vagina' is nothing more than an extension of the buttocks.

"Everybody knows that women are non-sexual creatures," said team leader Prince Abdul Abdul Abdul. "This fantasy about a female sexual organ, this subversive and frankly repulsive idea of a 'vagina', is yet another assault on our values and customs by the West."

Senior researcher Abdul Saud agreed. "Ask any man in the Kingdom if his wife has ever showed the slightest bit of enjoyment while fulfilling the nasty but essential work of spawning a male heir, and he will tell you that sex for women is, and always has been, utterly joyless."

"Until now, we naturally assumed that this lack of pleasure was the fault of the woman partner, perhaps due to some inherent psychological handicap shared by all women," said Grand Vizier of Numerology, Professor Faisal Abdul Saud. "But now we have shown that women are not only stunted psychologically, but physically too."

The team admitted that they had not questioned any actual women during the course of their research, since this would have required having a conversation with one, which is frowned upon in the Saudi scientific community.

Asked if they had ever heard of the clitoris, they confirmed that they had.

"Clitoris was a common name for girl-children in the mid-Victorian era," said Prof. Saud, adding that it sounded quaint and "faintly reminiscent of flowers".