Because I hate myself and feel that I deserve to be punished, I reviewed the low-budget indie horror film At Granny’s House at The Slaughtered Bird:

The story’s about an old lady whose ass hole son hires a caretaker (I spelled “ass hole” with a space in the middle because it’s funnier that way), and said caretaker turns out to be a homicidal maniac. The caretaker is named Rebecca. The old lady is named Marion. She’s the “Granny” in the title, despite having no grandchildren. Yes, I know it’s a niggling detail. Nobody wants to watch a movie titled, At Old Lady With No Grandchildren’s House. Well, I didn’t want to watch a movie that was so poorly made, so we’re all suffering. Anyway, Rebecca has a case of the ass about rude people who spend a lot of time on their phones, so she sneaks into their room at night and murders them. Then she falls in love with a less-rude houseguest named Ted, played by writer/director Les Mahoney, and they become a murder couple together. With Granny/Not-Granny’s tacit approval.