Chipotle, Taco Bell and the Kmart on Lake Street in Minneapolis is Closed Today!

In what has been heralded as an unprecedented attack on germs and bedbugs in America, “A Day Without Undocumented Workers,” whereas Chipotles and Taco Bells and Days Inns all across America did not open for business today, has been considered a resounding success. Also, in Minneapolis, MN, the only Kmart still standing is also closed in recognition of all the undocumented workers who work there but who are using someone else’s Social Security number. Thank You! One less ‘Identity Theft’ day!

Also, not to be outdone, Days Inn is telling its guests that they are going to have to do their own housekeeping and check-in. No reservations are being accepted today since the call center, located in Mexico City, had all its workers walk off the job in solidarity with their American counterparts. ‘The Taco Truck’ that used to be parked at the corner of Frito Lay Way and Ponce de Leon Drive in ‘Spanish Harlem’ New York will not be there as usual. A notice on a nearby post reads,

Although, this move was anticipated, it is having far reaching effects on many communities, nationwide. Americans who did not stock up on refried beans, tacos, Guacamole, tamales and fajitas are finding it difficult to obtain these items if guests are clamoring for them at dinner parties. To make matters worse, grocery stores are selling out of fajita and taco kits. Liquor stores nationwide are reporting a run on tequila and Corona. Also, roofing companies are reporting that their work crews are a no-show. California is having a hard time finding American workers to tend the fields as no one has come in to pick the harvest. A request was posted in the California Produce Growers Gazette for any Americans willing to bend over fields of corn, string beans, squash, watermelon and cantaloupe. Also attached to the request was the wording, “This does not apply to descendants of slaves as you have more than done your part!”

Activists called on [undocumented] immigrants to stay home from work, avoid shopping and eating out and skip classes in an effort to highlight the vital role they play in American society. This will make it extremely difficult for ICE officials(Immigration and Customs Enforcement)to pick you up and process you for deportation. Churches are rolling out the red carpet to assist with any who may be swept up by ICE raids and a standoff will commence between church and state. Several DREAMers, short for Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act,who were given the ‘all clear’ under the Obama Administration are now fair game under the new Trump Administration. Churches, seen as safe havens are now harboring fugitives from justice; people who have stolen the identity of others and who are using it to remain in this country.

One reporter caught up with a regional manager at Chipotle and when asked why had Chipotles closed nationwide, had this to say, “Please keep my name out of this but the majority of our work force is undocumented and if not for those who know how Mexican food should be cooked, we could not stay in business. Americans do not know how to cook Mexican food. We do realize that what we are doing is illegal, but so is using deformed chickens, but we use them anyway; that profit margin thing you know and why pick on us, everyone knows that Smithfield Meat Packing Plant hires only undocumented workers as does Taco Bell and the Kmart on Lake Street in Minneapolis, MN!”

And even the Pentagon is getting in on the action.

At the Pentagon, about half a dozen food outlets were forced to close after staff members joined the protest, including a Starbucks, a Taco Bell and a Burger King, according to a Defense Department spokesman.

Since the closing of these restaurants, no one at the Pentagon has come back to work after lunch complaining of nausea, diarrhea, upset stomach, vomiting and heartburn. This is suspected as the real reason employees at the Pentagon joined in the protest; they were tired of missing work thanks to gastric disturbances that occurred right after lunch, mainly after eating at Taco Bell.

One upside to this movement is that it is occurring during the winter months and so it has no noticeable effect on yard work. We expect this standoff to have been worked out by the time grass cutting and serious tree trimming work is necessary. Thankfully, so far, not much snow has fallen across the country that would lead to a mass shutdown of services due to a shortage of workers willing to shovel snow. Those of us who employ undocumented workers do so because we can. And just as soon as all of this blows over, we will give our contacts in Mexico, a call and our profits will be back in the ‘black’.

Americans just do not understand the absolute necessity for undocumented workers. If you will not clean your homes, cut your grass, re-tile your roof, clean your hotel rooms and cook your burritos and tacos, someone must and we have workers who are most happy to fill these positions for mere pesos…uh…I mean pennies…uh…dollars. Plus, they can’t complain because we know that one word from us and ICE is all over their ass! And there are plenty more where they came from. So, shut the hell up and let us get on with the business of using undocumented workers to continue to keep America, grinding along! Bienvenidos a América!

10 thoughts on “Chipotle, Taco Bell and the Kmart on Lake Street in Minneapolis is Closed Today!”

LMAO! Kelley, I hate to tell you this, but this is REAL! These businesses really shut down in observance of ‘Protest Undocumented Workers Day’!

And don’t feel bad, I researched it and I still can’t stop laughing. I have laughed myself hoarse and I have tears streaming down MY face! This is NOT fake news, seriously, it’s not! Remember, truth is stranger than fiction! LMAO!

Time for a little truth in the reporting on the immigration issues. The reality is that corporate elites massively encourage immigration because it helps hold wages down and increase profits. Immigrants nearly always accept lower wages as the US minimum wage is always much, much better that wages in their country of origin (if they can find work at all there).

Dr. Bramhall, what you say is true and so why Donald Trump is pretending that these ‘undocumented workers’ are here through no fault of the U.S. business community is just mindboggling because he knows for a fact, being a businessman, that businesses and corporations are going to help their bottom line out as much as possible by cutting costs and if that means looking the other way as it pertains to ‘the undocumented’, well they will do just that and they have been.

I’m merely poking fun at this entire issue here because it’s all quite ridiculous. We’ve never heard this much fuss about undocumented workers before, that is not until the ‘Deporter-In-Chief’ started doing this and of course I mean, Obama. And now Trump has taken up where Obama left off. I’ve also seen a news report that suggests that Trump is thinking of calling out the National Guard to assist with locating and deporting ‘The Undocumented’. There are also other reports that state that many Somalis and others fearing deportation have already headed for the Canadian border and are attempting to become citizens there. Apparently, everyone’s knickers are in a knot. How this will end, I really don’t know.