Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Looking ahead to The Velvet Blog's series finale

I'm not planning on shutting down anytime soon, but it's become obvious in the wake of the final episode of The Sopranos that such things must be planned carefully and plotted out years in advance. Some possibilities:

--The Velvet Blog wakes up in bed with Bob Newhart.ADVANTAGE: TVB is a big Newhart fan.DISADVANTAGE: We had a bit of a falling out after a Vegas gig. Hey, how was I supposed to know that was his plate of chicken wings? Was his name on it? Well, yes, but I didn't see it.

--The Velvet Blog forms a group hug with everyone on its blogroll and shuffles out the door singing "It's a Long Way to Tipperary."ADVANTAGE: Sure to get people weepy.DISADVANTAGE: Music rights.

--The Velvet Blog limps to a conclusion no one cares about, two years after David Duchovny leaves the cast. ADVANTAGE: No one will be reading TVB at that point.DISADVANTAGE: No one will be reading TVB at that point.

--The Velvet Blog finds itself trapped in the Black Lodge, while its body is inhabited by the spirit of Bob. Also, items on blogroll appear to be caught inside the knobs on a dresser drawer.ADVANTAGE: None. DISADVANTAGE: Makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

--The Velvet Blog turns out to be the reveries of an autistic boy gazing into a snow globe.ADVANTAGE: This is, in fact, true. DISADVANTAGE: This tends to freak people out.

3 comments:

The Velvet Blog meets an avant garde artist, falls in love, eventually cuts ties with his partners and best buddies, and posts its last post which actually appears online before its second-to-last post, which appears last.