Back by popular demand, a memo or two for the Ravens, the NFL, and the O’s —

Memo to Andy MacPhail:

Good luck bro. You signed up for this. Get it fixed.

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Memo to Steve McNair:

This isn’t Nashville my man. Baltimore sports fans have REAL short memories. What was your team’s record last year? I forget too. Either start getting it done THIS year or put the hat on backwards and let the California Kid have a crack at it.

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Memo to Norv Turner:

They were chanting “We Want Marty!” in the 4th quarter at San Diego yesterday. There couldn’t be a slap in the face that hurts more than that.

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Memo to Ray Lewis:

Love ya dude. You’re the best defensive player I’ve ever seen. But when you’re getting your ass kicked 27-13, there’s no need for chest beatin’ when you make a tackle with 5 minutes left in the game. That’s WAY beneath you. Or, it should be.

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Memo to Miguel Tejada:

It’s been real. It’s been fun. But, it hasn’t been real fun. Losing usually ISN’T fun. In some ways, I feel badly for you. You didn’t sign up for this back in ’04, I know. That said, you’ve been lollygagging for the better part of a year now. The time has come for a parting of the ways. Don’t worry, YOU WILL COME OUT ON THE GOOD END OF THIS DEPARTURE, that’s for sure!

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Memo to Willis McGahee:

Hopefully you learned a lesson from Jamal last week. The Ravens play in Buffalo in three weeks. Keep your mouth shut. Jamal ran his big yapper last week and then threw up a paltry 60-something yards…half of which came on one run. Just go to Buffalo, play football, win the game and then if you want to spout off, knock yourself out. But, please…don’t grandstand and talk trash the week of the game.

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Memo to the rest of the NFL:

Adrian Peterson of the Vikings will run all over you.

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Memo to the 49’ers:

Tell Trent to shut up this week. That is, if YOU want to win. Plus, frankly, we’re all bored with it here in Baltimore. Yeah, we know, he hates Billick. Yeah, we know, if Dilfer would have been the QB again in ’01 the Ravens would have won the Super Bowl – guaranteed. Yep, we’re well aware of the fact that Trent and Brian haven’t talked since. Yawnnnnnnnnnnnn….

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Memo to Brian Billick:

And you want to live here the rest of your life? With the way these fans treat you? You’re a trooper, dude.

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Memo to Brian Roberts:

You have EVERY right in the world to ask for a trade when the season ends. In fact, I’d have to question your desire to win if you DON’T ask for a trade. BRob, do you realize you’ve NEVER played a professional baseball game in your career that really mattered? You’ve done everything asked of you here, and more. Step away now. Go somewhere and win. You deserve it.

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Memo to Matt Stover:

I had TWO – not one, but TWO – e-mails today from people saying that YOU’RE DONE. Damn, no wonder they used to call Memorial Stadium the world’s largest outdoor insane asylum. Anyone that thinks Matt Stover is DONE is a whack-job.

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Memo to Ravens Management:

I’d put all of your players on “radio show notice”. Either get this thing fixed or else, all of those mid-week radio shows can be flushed right down the toilet along with the rest of the season. You’re a football team, not replacements for Don Imus.

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Memo to Dave Trembley:

Did you like winning 69 games? I’m thinking you might not win that many next year, DT.