How JustAnswer Works:

Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.

Get a Professional Answer

Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.Ask follow up questions if you need to.

100% Satisfaction Guarantee

Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist

Category: Mental Health

Satisfied Customers: 5632

Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

54658078

Type Your Mental Health Question Here...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now

I have been seeing a man for 3yrs now. We met through a dating

Resolved Question:

I have been seeing a man for 3yrs now. We met through a dating site, and when we actually met..it was like fireworks. He is divorced with two sons whom he absolutely adores. I have not met them. He has his own business and about 3 months into our relationship he became distant. I kept asking him what was wrong, was it me contacting him when he was busy etc. Eventually he told me that his house was due to be reposessed due to his "ex wife" failing to make monetary payments.. He never asked for the money but through conversations with him, and his obvious distress I felt obliged to help him.. and so it's continued. I have never had any appreciation from him, no night out nothing.

I have made such sacrifices for him, and when I've asked for the money back, he has said 1) Am waiting for money owed to me 2) Caz has posted the cheque as I'm out of the country on business 3) The money has been paid into your a/c I've got proof leave me alone 4) Give me your address I'll send you a cheque for what I owe, then leave me alone to get on with my life.

You're probably wondering what the hell I was thinking of? I do know that his Mother committed suicide, that he was physically abused in foster care, and that he's addicted to porn sites.

I found out that he's been a past bankcrupt, and have to say that all the directors have been women. When I've asked him about this.. and I do admit through "challenging" texts he's accused me of stalking him, and threatened to block my telephone numbers and repay me entirely so that "I can get you out of my life and find a nice lady who will appreciate my privacy and fulfill my fantasies, because you're full of SxxT"

I am at rock bottom financially, which I understand is through my own stupid fault. I am drinking heavily, buy stupid things as a way of comfort, can't sleep, eat crap, don't want to socialise, and just can't see a way out of this mess. xx

It sounds like you have been emotionally abused by this man. He has used you. And now he is angry and using his outbursts against you when you ask for your money back.

His history of being abused is bad, but it does not give him the right to hurt you as a result. He should not have borrowed the money if he had no intention of paying it back.

This is a relationship you need to get out of right now. Do not contact him again. If you choose to still pursue getting your money back, use legal means. Contact an attorney or if you have local civil courts that will hear your case without an attorney, go that route. Allow the legal system to work for you so you no longer have to contact this man.

In the meanwhile, start caring for yourself. This man has taken his negative emotions out on you but that does not mean you have to believe it. Consider seeing another therapist to help you work out how you feel about this and get you back on track. To find a therapist, talk to your doctor about a referral. Or, if you attend church, talk with your pastor about how you feel. You can also search on line at http://www.bacp.co.uk/ or http://www.cpdirectory.com/cgi-bin/index.pl. You may have already tried therapy and that is ok, but you may need some additional therapy if the first time did not help you resolve how you feel.

I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly.
Thank you very muchCorrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly.
Thank you very muchCorrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and
confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the
examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as
well! ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.I feel better already! Thank you.ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet VPhoenix, AZ

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

X

Ask a Mental Health Professional

Get a Professional Answer. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed.

121 Mental Health Professionals are Online Now

Type Your Mental Health Question Here...

characters left:

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.