Long time lurker first time poster. I'm going to try and get some advice about something I've been thinking about for a while. I have a gorgeous young fiance I met 1.5 years ago at a rock concert. We're going to get married in December. She's perfect insofar as being very intelligent, down to earth, and fun to be around. Even though she's a lot younger than I (she's 20, I'm 29), she has had far more sexual partners and experiences than I have, and I thought I had a lot. She tells me she's been with 25 guys. I suppose I'm the 26th. She lost her virginity very young and has been open about her sexuality for a long time. She's also bi and has had longterm girlfriends occasionally. I on the other hand have been with 10-15, I honestly don't remember the exact number due to a few Charlie Sheen-esque years.

The sex between us is great. It's by far the best I've ever had, and she tells me the same FWIW. At one point we had sex 10 times in a day, which was absurd and something I didn't think was possible until we did it. At times she can be insatiable and rather domineering in the bedroom. It's like she's the older one and I'm the younger. We fuck how she likes it and she commands me to fuck harder, etc., that type of thing. If I cum too quick she gets pissed. Therefore when we have sex it is imperative that I perform, and that is somewhat intimidating. In all other aspects of the relationship I seem to be in charge. She also seems to be a size queen, or at least appreciates big cock. I have a really nice 7.5", and I could tell how utterly relieved she was when she first saw it. We were more or less in love before we had sex, and I could sense that to her my cock could be the last barrier to us being truly in love, in the event that I was tiny. When she saw it her eyes lit up and she told me how much she loves my cock. She tells me that a lot, actually. She's also told me about boyfriends with big cocks (I can only assume bigger), and a boyfriend she broke up with who (not coincidentally) had a small dick. She told me how the sex wasn't great with him (because of his cocksize I presume), and also about how great sex was with a former boyfriend who was big. When I fuck her she's not exactly tight, either. It's somewhat of a problem but not really because she's beautiful, and I don't think I will ever tell her this. The point is that even though she's told me I'm the best person she has ever fucked, and that my size is more than adequate, I genuinely feel like there's a possibility I still may not be enough for her. It could be that she's such a nympho that no one man could handle her. I actually feel pressure when we fuck so as not to fail her. It can be annoying because sometimes I want to cum quicker and go back to watching the sports game or something, and not make a whole Broadway production out of the whole thing. This brings me to the cuckold thing if my initial premise is correct (that one day she will lust after another man sexually due to her obscene - and perhaps kinky - sex drive). Ideally, he'd be some boring, unremarkable guy who lived on the opposite side of town, who just happened to have a big cock. I obviously don't have small penis issues but am I going down a perfidious path by entertaining these thoughts? Is this possibility something I should sequester and never think about again? Should I simply communicate to her my inadequacy issues based on her crazy high number of sex partners? It could be that no one in my shoes would feel totally secure with her sexually, I don't know. Like I said, she told me I'm the best and I've heard that from others (although, as a general rule, I disregard everything a woman says in the bedroom as unreliable). But since we're madly in love and going to get married, I want to be clear about everything before I take the plunge. Thanks.

I'm in a sort of similar situation to you. Size-wise I am adequate for her, being 9x6, but she's just the sort of girl that always needs more, and I am often away from home or busy. I know that one guy is not enough for her, and I find it quite a turn on (no idea why!) when she gets with other guys. She's had a few casual as well as more long term things going on, but as long as she still comes home the next morning to me, I'm not bothered, just as long as she's happy. There was one time when she was getting a little bit too attached to someone else, but to her credit she broke it off; I guess she knows what's fun and what's not. Otherwise I think it has really improved things between us in all areas, not just the sex. If you do it, I'm sure you won't look back!

Gold Member

You got to talk to her, buddy. It may be a hard thing to do but you want to be honest in your relationship, right? Really listen to what she says and don't make up silly stuff in your head. You gotta trust her. Otherwise, don't get married - wait a while, or risk the chance that you are going to be driven crazy but all the doubts you have. My 2 cents (I have been with my male partner for 33 years. It ain't easy but I wouldn't change that for the world)

If she's going to do it anyway (either for real or in your mind) and you're OK with it.....talk to her about it and she may be relieved to get the green light, but be aware, a lot of people do the dirty deed because it's "taboo" and if you let her do it, it may make her not be into it because now it's not "forbidden fruit" but on the other hand, she may be a slut at heart, love you but lust for other dicks which is what I'm looking for...because I love being the true blue cuckold in a relationship....especially if my lady is into gang bangs and fucking big black dicks!

VerifiedGold Member

First of all, 10 to 15 sexual partners? I am impressed! I have only had two. And my future wife is my second. She has had more partners. I have also been paranoid and worried about our sexual relationship. I.e. the size of her previous partners, whether I am good in bed (which I wasn't at first), will she cheat on me for someone better. These insecurities soon went away as other aspects of our relationship became better.

Marriage is not all about sex, and you should appreciate the other parts of a relationship. Do you communicate? Do you have similar interest? Do you make her laugh, she make you laugh? Do you miss her when she isn't there? Do you think of her when you masturbate while looking at pictures of other women? I certainly do! I agree with Daddy Lucas and you need to be honest and have trust. I love being open about my sexual thoughts and concerns. I recently got her a dildo for her pleasure when I can't please her.

I feel the same way dude. I actually had a fight with my gf last night for this reason. She's been with around 20 dudes and blown around 30. Any other girl and I would say she's a raging slut, but she's my lady and I didn't hear about this until after we had been together for a while. She's also likes to be a sub, which I don't mind but it's new to me. I don't love the sub thing all the time because I want us to have sex as equals, I don't want to have a higher status than her. She's also a squirter. I've made her squirt once but her last boyfriend made her squirt everytime because he has some kind of giant horse cock. Why she would ever say that I have no idea. I'm close to 8" long and 6" around, and this is the first time I have ever felt self conscious about my penis size.

I also feel like I always have to perform. She's pretty easy to make cum, but I feel like I have to be different than the 20 guys before me. I have the feeling of what could I ever offer her that 20 guys before me haven't?

I told her all this and she talked about liking my penis better, the squirting orgasm not being better, loving me, and all that. I dunno, it didn't make me feel any better and how am I supposed to tell her that our sex life suffers because she's been with so many guys?

Stop thinking that way or it will destroy the relationship. It is funny how in general chat, magazines etc. It is always women percieved to have issues, well us men have them too and a lot of them revolve around that thing swinging between our legs. Enjoy the sex, give it to her whenever she wants it, you will moan if she stops offering, and make sure you gain as much pleasure from it as she obviously does.

Forget the football game or whatever else is on the tv, it will still be there when you have finished with your girl, or if it isn't you will be able to find out the score on the internet or by some other means. Just keep enjoying the sex and remember, your girl is more important than anything else, she loves you, you give each other great sex and she has told you that, nothing else should matter, not how well another man is hung, not how many partners she has previously had, it is all about the now. Forget the rest.

Ok , so i am married and my husband is older and has had VERY few partners and i was wild as a child and have had many. I feel sometimes like I am the older one because I've had more partners , but it's not like he isn't experienced and doesn't know what to do. We are a couple who is into cuckolding because he isn't over large , but he's not small. Don't get me wrong he satisfies me , it's just we are young and love to have a fun and adventurous sex life. Talk to her! this could make your realtionship that much better !

Long time lurker first time poster. I'm going to try and get some advice about something I've been thinking about for a while. I have a gorgeous young fiance I met 1.5 years ago at a rock concert. We're going to get married in December. She's perfect insofar as being very intelligent, down to earth, and fun to be around. Even though she's a lot younger than I (she's 20, I'm 29), she has had far more sexual partners and experiences than I have, and I thought I had a lot. She tells me she's been with 25 guys. I suppose I'm the 26th. She lost her virginity very young and has been open about her sexuality for a long time. She's also bi and has had longterm girlfriends occasionally. I on the other hand have been with 10-15, I honestly don't remember the exact number due to a few Charlie Sheen-esque years.

The sex between us is great. It's by far the best I've ever had, and she tells me the same FWIW. At one point we had sex 10 times in a day, which was absurd and something I didn't think was possible until we did it. At times she can be insatiable and rather domineering in the bedroom. It's like she's the older one and I'm the younger. We fuck how she likes it and she commands me to fuck harder, etc., that type of thing. If I cum too quick she gets pissed. Therefore when we have sex it is imperative that I perform, and that is somewhat intimidating. In all other aspects of the relationship I seem to be in charge. She also seems to be a size queen, or at least appreciates big cock. I have a really nice 7.5", and I could tell how utterly relieved she was when she first saw it. We were more or less in love before we had sex, and I could sense that to her my cock could be the last barrier to us being truly in love, in the event that I was tiny. When she saw it her eyes lit up and she told me how much she loves my cock. She tells me that a lot, actually. She's also told me about boyfriends with big cocks (I can only assume bigger), and a boyfriend she broke up with who (not coincidentally) had a small dick. She told me how the sex wasn't great with him (because of his cocksize I presume), and also about how great sex was with a former boyfriend who was big. When I fuck her she's not exactly tight, either. It's somewhat of a problem but not really because she's beautiful, and I don't think I will ever tell her this. The point is that even though she's told me I'm the best person she has ever fucked, and that my size is more than adequate, I genuinely feel like there's a possibility I still may not be enough for her. It could be that she's such a nympho that no one man could handle her. I actually feel pressure when we fuck so as not to fail her. It can be annoying because sometimes I want to cum quicker and go back to watching the sports game or something, and not make a whole Broadway production out of the whole thing. This brings me to the cuckold thing if my initial premise is correct (that one day she will lust after another man sexually due to her obscene - and perhaps kinky - sex drive). Ideally, he'd be some boring, unremarkable guy who lived on the opposite side of town, who just happened to have a big cock. I obviously don't have small penis issues but am I going down a perfidious path by entertaining these thoughts? Is this possibility something I should sequester and never think about again? Should I simply communicate to her my inadequacy issues based on her crazy high number of sex partners? It could be that no one in my shoes would feel totally secure with her sexually, I don't know. Like I said, she told me I'm the best and I've heard that from others (although, as a general rule, I disregard everything a woman says in the bedroom as unreliable). But since we're madly in love and going to get married, I want to be clear about everything before I take the plunge. Thanks.

Click to expand...

Dude, it sounds like you are talking yourself into a problem that otherwise wouldn't be there. You seem to be assuming the worst side of every facet. Why do other big partners automatically mean bigger? Why do you assume that the bad sex she had with earlier partners was due to dick size? How do you know she wasn't with some 1 minute man?

20-25 partners may be "crazy high" to you, but its all relative. If you've had 10-15 partners that is not a big difference. Both sound like low numbers to me. To others they might seem very high.

Do a little searching on here - the tightness or lack of from her vagina is not a direct link to the thickness of your dick, or previous sex partners. Try some position variations.

You don't need to tell her about your inadequacy feelings - she will already know based on your repeated requests for verification of things that you've apparently been told before. She's told you she loves you, loves your dick, loves the sex - could she say much more? No, so asking her won't fix the problem.

I am not intending to dog you - it sounds like you have good - appreciate it. Hell, having a woman with a big sex drive is a blessing.

On the games - if its your team playing, tell her to wait so you can give her your best; if not your team on at the time, you can't be missing that much, eh?

VerifiedGold Member

Dude, it sounds like you are talking yourself into a problem that otherwise wouldn't be there. You seem to be assuming the worst side of every facet. Why do other big partners automatically mean bigger? Why do you assume that the bad sex she had with earlier partners was due to dick size? How do you know she wasn't with some 1 minute man?

20-25 partners may be "crazy high" to you, but its all relative. If you've had 10-15 partners that is not a big difference. Both sound like low numbers to me. To others they might seem very high.

Do a little searching on here - the tightness or lack of from her vagina is not a direct link to the thickness of your dick, or previous sex partners. Try some position variations.

You don't need to tell her about your inadequacy feelings - she will already know based on your repeated requests for verification of things that you've apparently been told before. She's told you she loves you, loves your dick, loves the sex - could she say much more? No, so asking her won't fix the problem.

I am not intending to dog you - it sounds like you have good - appreciate it. Hell, having a woman with a big sex drive is a blessing.

On the games - if its your team playing, tell her to wait so you can give her your best; if not your team on at the time, you can't be missing that much, eh?

Click to expand...

I'm going with what Tully says. All I can add is that you need to believe what she tells you - you are enough. Forget about the number of previous lovers. They were bit players while you are the main event.

In terms of your current sex life, you need to communicate more. I'm a big believer in attending a pre-marriage bootcamp or training course. Marriage is hard! Way harder than you can imagine and well worth spending a weekend together just to make the way a little clearer.

I think perhaps there are two possible undercurrents at play here, or a variation of them.

1) Do you want to open up your relationship and get intimate with others for fun? Does she, and are you at the right stage of your relationship for it?

2) Do you feel inadequate due to her past experiences and the inferences from that? Is that support by any evidence you have from your relationship, or in spite of what your mind is telling you?

I went through a bit of a mix a couple years back which had a couple of parallels, even if it was different. My only previous serious girlfriend (non-FB and non-one nighter) had been a virgin when we met, and it took us a good while to go all the way. As such I think I subconciously placed a premium on prior inexperience with other men, I guess what would've been called virtue in previous ages. That relationship ended stormily and it was rather quickly that I found myself in a new relationship.

This girl was not truly experienced either but at the time I didn't ask (nor really want to know) all the details, I simply knew I was no3 instead of no1 and of the little I did know, my mind filled in the considerable gaps with something that wasn't very positive. I didn't feel like I was all that much to her. Combined with the fact that this was a rather long distance thing (would she grow tired of me and cheat someday?) and uni work was getting on top of me, I often didn't feel all that great overall.

In time and with more communication, all that fell away. Our relationship grew more and I found out that the guy's who'd been there before weren't all that.

My lesson learned is that it is quite possible to feel badly about such things for no real reason. Don't second-guess yourself, if you've got something good recognise it for what it is.

On the other hand, if you're both happy with each other and want to introduce a third for shared fun rather than due to some sort of concern, that's a completely different thing.