For this edition of the Weekly Whoring, we turn our attention to NHL.com, the website that Gary Bettman personally codes the html for when he’s not busy luring Canuckistanian teams to Fort Wayne. For the most part, NHL.com is marginally helpful when it comes to finding videos of sick goals, stats of players not deemed important enough to be tracked by ESPN.com, and ridiculous new phrases that won’t catch on (they referred to the Mighty Zendo Chara as “Tenacious Z” the other day. I kid you not.)

Sexiness Icon Brent Burns is having himself a breakthrough season for the Minnesota Wild (and with the ladies, of course). But something was missing; something that defined him not only as a player, but as a man. Well, loyal readers of MYFO, over the past week, Brent Burns has accomplished that feat: he’s got himself a signature move:

I call it “The Frank Costanza.” The reason? Because he “stops short”, of course. After the jump, video evidence of “the move”.

All right, dicksnugglers. Sit down and shut up. It’s time for Professor Avery, not to be confused with another professor in New York, tells you exactly how to negotiate a better deal for yourselves. So strap in tight, doucheguzzlers. I’m going to edumacate you, Broadway-style.