Last night's premiere of the rom-com Something Borrowed at Grauman's Chinese Theater was a veritable who's who of Hollywood—in that you hear these people's names and you're like, "Who?" Anyway, most looked like they were dressed to attend the wedding of someone they didn't particularly care enough for, which is kind of fitting, considering the movie is based on a book about a bitch who fucks her best friend's fiance.

Ginnifer Goodwin's dress is a mindfuck, because while it shows off her womanly curves, the sheer fabric under the gold rectangular cutouts make it look like she doesn't have nipples.

Kate Hudson is the only one who didn't look like she was going to a classy brunch, and actually wore a gown. The only impression her engagement ring leaves is that she's going to have get that thing resized after she gives birth.

As for the men, stars John Krasinski wore a sharkskin suit while Colin Egglesfield wore tight pants. And then there's Quinton Aaron, who is maybe wearing a rape whistle?

From the waist up, Hilary Swank—the film's producer—looked like she was set to perform in a dance recital. (No one can doubt her commitment to Sparkle Motion.) Meanwhile, Emily Giffin—the woman who wrote the bestselling novels Something Borrowed and Something Blue (which has also been optioned for a film)—looked like a Real Housewives version of Candace Bushnell. Good thing? Bad thing?

Speaking of Real Housewives, 24-year-old Laguna Beach-native Kristin Cavallari is recently engaged to Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and showed off her ring for the first time. At first I was like, God, this girl is always wearing espadrilles, but it turns out that she actually designs them.

Melissa Claire Egan—whom you may recognize from Proactiv commercials—opted for a fun one-armed, purple-y dress, The Office's Kate Flannery cleans up very nicely, and Jennie Snyder, who wrote the screenplay, is verrrry pregnant and would like to sit down now, please.

OK, here we go: Mayim Bialik. In my opinionation she looks like a teacher who confiscated some girl's handbag at junior prom because it had a flask and some weed in it and told her, "I'm hanging on to this until your parents get here. And then you can explain to them what's inside."

Last and least is Natasha Bedingfield. Initially I thought that she had committed the heinous fashion crime of nude hose/open toes—until I zoomed in on her toes and was absolutely horrified to discover that she cut a hole out for her toes! Nude hose/exposed toes!