This is awkard. You leave your desk, you walk to the lift, you push the button and then some time later the lift arrives. You get in and just as the doors begin to shut, that wanker from the desk opposite joins you in this tiny, confined space.

I have my friends quota. I don’t need any more friends. I don’t have time to see the friends I have as much as I would like so I am certainly not in the business of talking to strangers on a fucking train.

Oh, so the rules don’t apply to you? You’re free to use the roads as you wish? Because I thought that when the traffic lights went red, and the little green man lit up, it was the pedestrians who had the right of way?

I have lost count of the number of times I have been on public transport and sat next to someone whose breathing is so heavy it actually disturbs my reading. Sometimes it even manages to drown out my iPod, which is quite an accomplishment.