Friday, May 04, 2007

Right Brain Brian

OK time to pull out the ole stream of consciousness thing and try to noodle through my feeble brain to see whats what.

I stood there on a corner, waiting for the cab I flagged down. It was drizzling a little bit and I have just come off of working 15 hour day. My brain was numb and the light just glistened off the pavement.The red and green light looking like Christmas in the shine of the road, and I dangle my hand out to more lights. The cab pulled up and the suited monkey next to me steps out to the street. I look over to him and think to myself, 'fuck, this guy is stealing my cab, I don't need this.'I pause for a minute and realize i don't want a confrontation I just want to lay down and sleep. Mr ego wakes up though and I stepped over to the gentleman who was about a foot shorter than I.'This is mine...I flagged him' and I stared into his weasley soul. He knew I was right and meerly stepped back onto the curb. I guess he didn't want a confrontation either, especially with a tired, wet, IT guy who outweighed him by 50 pounds.

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Bases loaded, there is one out and your son steps to the plate. He represents the winning run."Relax" you say loud enough for your son to hear. Though you can barely look.He takes the first pitch. Good boy."Alright, now your ready...easy swing." Your heart enters your throat and the pitcher releases.You see the most beautiful thing in the world. Your son, a beautiful graceful swing, and the rising arc of the ball.If there's something that can beat that sense of pride, you don't know of it.

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Reprinted from DIGG - Most of this applies.

Top Ten Reasons it doesn’t pay to be the computer guy:

Reason #10 - Most Of Your Accomplishments Are Invisible

The computer guy never hears anyone tell him, “I just want to let you know … everything is working fine!”

The reality is that people call the computer guy when something is wrong.

As a computer guy, if you work really hard to make everything work the way that it should, and things work fine, then people believe you don’t do anything. Everything you manage to get working correctly or do perfectly will forever remain unnoticed by computer users. They’ll only ever notice that you do anything when something isn’t working correctly, and you are called upon to fix it.

Reason #9 - Every Conversation You Have Is Roughly The Same

When the computer guy dares to mention what he does for a living, the typical response is, “I have a question about my home computer…”

Or when the computer guy first hears about a widespread problem within the computer network he’s responsible for, he can barely begin to assess the problem before a dozen other people call to report the same problem.

Or when the computer guy explains a certain process on a computer to a user who is incapable of retaining the process, he will inevitably need to reinstruct the user of this same process — indefinitely.

The computer guy often finds himself in situations where someone is asking him for advice on a pending investment of the technological variety.

“I heard about (some hardware or software product) that can do (something desirable) for me. I brought you these (advertisements/reviews/printouts) because I wanted your recommendation. Which would you buy?”

Although the inquiring person sincerely trusts the computer guy’s judgment over their own, in almost every instance the real objective of these meetings is to ensure their own immunity from making a risky purchase.

If it turns out to be a bad investment, and they cannot get (the hardware or software product) to do (anything desirable), then you will be their personal scapegoat — “But honey, the computer guy said I should buy it!”

Reason #7 - Your Talents Are Forcibly Undervalued

Thanks to the constantly declining price of new computers, the computer guy cannot charge labor sums without a dispute. If he asks to be paid what he is worth, he will likely be met with the “why not buy new?” argument.

That is, desktop computers are always getting smaller, faster, and cheaper. It’s possible to purchase a new desktop computer for under $400. If the computer guy spends five hours fixing a computer and wants $100/hour for his time, his customer will be outraged, exclaiming “I didn’t even spend this much to BUY the computer, why should I pay this much just to FIX it?”

Reason #6 - You’re Never Allowed A Moment’s Peace

The computer guy is so prone to interruption that he rarely finds an opportunity to work on his own problems. This is because:

1. Computers never sleep.

2. Computer problems aren’t scheduled.

3. Every problem takes time to diagnose.

4. The computer guy can only give one problem his full attention.

5. Each user believes their problem deserves attention now.

Consequently, the computer guy has a 24/7 obligation to keep critical computer systems running, while simultaneously juggling everyone’s problems. He’ll often need to forfeit any opportunities to tend to his own needs for the sake of others — because at any moment, of any day, he can be interrupted by someone who wants to make their problem his problem.

Reason #5 - People Ask You To Perform Miracles

The computer guy is often mistaken for someone who possesses the combined skills of an old priest and a young priest. I’ll sum this up easily by example:

“No, I really can’t recover any files from your thumb drive, even if you did find it after it passed through your dog.”

Reason #4 - Your Assumed “All-Knowing” Status Sets You Up To Let People Down

There is no common understanding that there are smaller divisions within the computer industry, and that the computer guy cannot be an expert in all areas. What makes things worse, is when the computer guy attempts to explain this to someone asking for help, the person will often believe that the computer guy is withholding the desired knowledge to avoid having to help.

This is somewhat related to the next reason:

Reason #3 - You Possess Unlimited Responsibility

The computer guy is expected to solve problems. It is difficult to determine the boundaries of that expectation.

Some of the oddest things that I’ve been asked to do include:

1. Use pirated software to undelete important company files.

2. Create an Intranet, after explaining I didn’t know how to.

3. Teach someone how to hide their pornography collection.

Solving problems can range from replacing batteries in a wireless keyboard to investigating why the entire building loses power at the same time every morning. Resolutions can necessitate weaving a 50-foot cable through a drop ceiling, or wriggling under a house on your belly to add an electrical outlet.

Reasons #4 and #3 boil down to this: no matter how often you want to play the role of a hero, there will always be circumstances that test the limits of your ability to be one. It’s difficult to judge when helping someone means doing something immoral, and it’s even harder to admit you are unable to solve someone’s problem — and chances are, that someone will view you as incompetent because you were unable to help them.

Reason #2 - A Life Of Alienation

People only talk to the computer guy when they need him to fix something. Also, when the computer guy approaches a user, they’ll hop up out of their chair under the presumption that he’s there to fix something — as if it would never be expected that he only wants to strike up a conversation.

The fact that the computer guy never gets a moment’s peace can also practically force him to withdraw into solitude. His co-workers don’t understand that he doesn’t want to hear about their computer problems during his lunch hour — he does that every other hour of the day. That’s why the computer guy eats lunch alone with his door closed, or goes out to eat every day — not because he’s unfriendly, but because he needs to escape the incessant interruptions.

Reason #1 - You Have No Identity

It’s an awful experience when the computer guy shows up at a neighbor’s doorstep with a plate of Christmas cookies, only to have the child who answered the door call out, “Mom, the computer guy is here!” He begs for an identity that is not directly associated with computers, but “the computer guy” label walks ahead of him — it simply cannot be avoided. I was given a name and I’d love to be addressed by it.

Thats it! Im getting a uniform!

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What is it with French Canadians??

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I got a little full of myself in the Riverchasers tourney last night...The hand went totally my way, except for the fact I didn't have the right cards in my hand. Thats my game though, sometimes I'm gonna swing and miss.

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I have 3 invitations for live poker tonight. Pokercats invite came last, so I'll have to pass for this week.Its between meeting up with bloggers Kajagugu and BrainMc and playing lower limits or bringing my "A" (don't laugh so hard) game to a $100 tourney followed by 1/2. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna opt for the more friendly game...but I'm sooo tempted.

What really stinks is I have a company event this afternoon/evening.....ugh. I might not get to play anything other than the fake-nice game.

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I guess thats it for now..you kids have a good night and if you're not going out, you'd better be playing Katitude's game!