Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The 24th is quickly coming and my head hurts with the emotions i feel . How did a year pass so fast? where did that time go? I miss her so much ...most days i just go through the motions reminding myself that i am one day closer to seeing her beautiful face her amazing smile and getting to hold her tight. then it hits me that i am 1 day farther from the last day i held her close kissed her head and saw her eyes so full of life. with that being said i am once again flooded with emotions GUILT being the biggest one... how can i feel so sad and upset when i have such a blessing snuggled in my arms ... a little person who needs me, who counts on me to provide for him ,to love and care for him? How can i wish she never left when that would mean he would never have been conceived... this is fucked up...

I wish that this got easier. i wish this didnt creep up on me. i wish that i could be holding both my babies. I wish my heart didnt hurt.

the three

The Little Mr Man. Our Rainbow baby. The little man who has healed and help me and our hearts when we felt there was no hope. A lazy little man who was very anticipated . My rainbow. such a laid back awesome little man!

Evelynn our smarty pants. To damn smart for her own good! ;) happy and always smiling . Miss Evelynn is going to be a great big sister to her new brother we know it. she often talks about miss Olivia and shares are undying love for her! we told her she needs to be a doctor one day!

1 in 100 babies are born with a heart deffect. so many do not see their 1st birthdays. We need to spread awareness of CHDs . these serious heart defects are a top killer of infants and children. Please spread the word.