Take my breath away is right. This Top Gun jumpsuit does it in the comfort of 100% French terry cotton too. So soft, according to maker OnePiece, I won't even know it's there. And really, how long will it be there once the ladies get a load of my Maverick onesie? Imagine the "foreign relations" we could all keep up with the help of a pair of pajamas modeled after the best of the best. Imagine the Polaroids....

Officially the Aviator Onesie, the lightweight (250 gsm) nod to one of the top 3 films of my childhood features military patches and embroidery, 4 front pockets with metal zippers, side cargo pockets on the legs, and, in HUGE print on the back: I feel the need, the need for sleep. OK, that's pretty cheesy. But come on, so is the entirety of Top Gun. I still love it.

Top Gun adult onesies come in sizes XXS through XL and are suitable for both males and females. The pictured Jump is in color Jungle Green. A Navy version is also available.

OnePiece Clothing is a Norwegian company started by 3 friends, Henrik, Knut, and Thomas, who wanted to make a chill-out, hangover day sweatsuit without the tight waistband and illusion that you might be wearing it to go jogging. The OnePiece onesie, or Jump, is their result. Self-proclaimed a "global movement of slackers", the guys' loungewear is now available worldwide from over 1,000 retailers, plus their online store.

Star Wars onesies for adults are what's called being comfortably chic on Halloween, and F'ing awesome the other 364 days of the year. Boba Fett, R2-D2, a stormtrooper, and the grandaddy of being the worst daddy of all...

"I just did 9 months on the inside...and now that I'm out, my mom is making me wear an orange onesie that, for some reason, encourages many who see me to double-bump a fist against their chest and flash me two fingers."...

Dress Pants Sweatpants are OK for the average day at the office, but what if you have an important meeting with the Japanese investors? Or a big interview? Or your great aunt's funeral? When formality is required, but...

I'd say it takes at least as much power to wear the Rainbow Bridge as it does to fight Loki at Heimdall's Observatory and break it. And by "power" I mean long, killer legs and an ass like the shiny, perfect Pink Lady...

It's never too early to indoctrinate your kids into the world of role-playing. Even casual RPG enthusiasts will get a kick out of J!NX's Level 1 Human Baby Creeper Romper for the 2 to 3 weeks it actually fits their ludicrous-speed-growing...

This baby with a mohawk and sleeves tattooed on his arms looks ridiculous. Even though the mohawk is probably just a styling of the only hair he has on his head and the sleeves are part of a onesie. The poor bastard....

The bad news: at printing, Hoodsie adult hooded onesies just completed a successful Kickstarter campaign, and are available only for pre-order. Delivery is not anticipated until April 2014, long after the most bone-chilling...

Funny how a mere 90-degree turn can transform this wearable Japanese futon from a reasonably comfortable night's sleep into an awkward, stifling onesie that probably goes swish, swish between your thighs with every step....

I like the onesie, but if I have to make that bro face while wearing it, I'm out, Sam Adams. Also not really down with the full-frontal-zip look. Not only because of the whole suffocation thing, but also because it makes...

Leave it to Japan Trend Shop to extol the virtues of these Humanoid Fleeces--a "secret" second run of the onesies that sold out during their initial release, your ticket to looking like a superhero in a cult sci-fi movie--while...

iPood. The onesie that states the obvious, perpetual reality for chilluns between the ages of 6 and 18 months old. And instead of a button for blasting its volume, the iPood comes with a button that aids kiddos in blasting...