The Person No One Knows....

I met my daughters father at a New Year's Eve party. It took off from there but never was that romance type of relationship that sweeps you off your feet. It wasn't until I became pregnant of when he really swept me off my feet. I went into this relationship not giving myself time to cope with my prior 5 year relationship and after a year and a half became pregnant living far from my original home. I was once a very independent girl raising my son, which was at the time ten years old, into a hopeless dependent mother. He worked and I stayed home with my daughter and son. We all soley lived off him, so he had control. He also had the car and provided the home. Getting him to buy my feminine products was hell and I often had to go without. It began to become a stressful and frustrating relationship. He never like going to my parents to visit, put them down, when really they are the most loving and social going people you'd ever know. Soon he began to dislike all my friends, it was always how positive his friends were etc. I had grown up with mine and began to part from them. It was all about his family and his friends. But one day I'd never forget. It's a day that made me feel less of a person and it's where it all began. He got upset for me coming home late one night with friends and her using my phone didn't help. After she left, her calls came tumbling in and that's the first I'd ever seen him explode. He draged me out of bed, held me by the neck and pinned me against the wall. Yelled at me like he was going to kill me, but grabbed me by the hair and dragged me to the front door across the front porch and threw my down the concrete steps of our home. My arms were bloody from scrapes and my knees.He locked me out in the freezing cold for about thirty minutes. I didn't even cry I was so shocked. I could not believe this just happened to me. It all happened so fast. I couldnt understand I was too shocked to even acknowledge that what he did was wrong. He opended the door, didn't say a word to eachother and we both went to bed. My eyes stood opend. I felt hopeless, ashamed and most of all hurt and scared. Who was i with? what did i get myself into? and why did he just do this?The next inncodent was when I locked his phone and wiped out his contacts for communicating with an ex girlfriend. He threw the phone so hard at me, I had a bruise for a week. Next he yelled to my son I was a Fucken ***** and I could see the anger building up. I ran and called his sister and hid till she came. She intervened and begged me to stay for the sake of our daughter. Soon after we argued again, he choked me on the bed and threw me to the floor. He took my daughter for an entire day threatening to take her to the Philippines. He brought her back after crying all day of begging. He'd often punch holes in the wall and has punched the rearview mirror that shattered in front of our daughter and my son. I began to isolate from everyone and became deoressed and unhappy. i often blamed myself and tried to hope our relationship would progess. it never did. Then there was an incident that occurred with my son and daugter and finally he was caught and convicted of child abuse, domestic violence and child neglect. But the recovery was long for my kids and myself. I got out brfore it got worse and it took me two years to realize it. It is now three years and now he fights for joint and legal, but get this... He embarks a relationship with a girl and her son which he is not the father, 5 mths after our break up. Then moves in with her in less than two years. Interesting how the cycle proceeds.

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How horrible. I am so glad you got out of that situation. I know it is a long process healing from this type of abuse. It never stops just because the abuse stops, the mental anguish continues long after you leave. I was starting to feel bad about my ex-husband not seeing the kids but your story brought back so many awful memories for me I am going to stand firm and avoid all contact. Peace and love to you.

A couple of nights ago I was at an exs who held me without consent, lifted his fists and tried to throw me down the stairs...there is a lot more to this to put into a story, am very jumpy,upset and cant stop crying....

To get an idea of what I've been going through lately, read my other story I have posted in "I Am a Victim of Emotional Abuse." My ex that I just broke up with is not stopping. Just a few hours ago he texted me saying he was dropping off this record I had given him a couple...