I’m going to put about as much effort into this introduction as Slash has put into finding a new hat.

Speaking of the former Guns N’ Roses guitarist, we begin today with his video for “Anastasia,” which, in my opinion at least, is easily the best song on his sophomore solo album, Apocalyptic Love. In fact, it is the only song from that album that I actually listen to on a consistent basis. I don’t know why he never wrote anything this catchy for Velvet Revolver, but I’m inclined to blame Scott Weiland, mostly because I blame Scott Weiland for everything. Seriously, last week I was at a friend’s house and I knocked over this antique vase while he was in the other room, and then he walked in and was all “What the crap, dude?”, and I was all, “Weiland did it!” Luckily, he believed me. My friends are dumb.

Moving right along… Omnium Gatherum’s new video, “The Unknowing,” mixes intimate performance footage with some very purdy nature footage. It could’ve ended up being boring as fuck, but it all works really well, actually. It doesn’t hurt that this is probably the best song on the band’s new album, Beyond (read Dave Mustein’s review here). I guess “videos for the best song on the album” is a running theme today.

Next up we have Coliseum’s video for “Black Magic Punks,” which originally made its debut on Bloody Disgusting. A fun ode to The Shining aside, the video is not really all that great — but the song RULES, so you should watch it anyway. Seriously, this tune makes me wanna dance, and I fucking hate to dance. Three cheers for these dudes.

Ancient VVisdom’s new clip, “Deathlike,” originally premiered on Noisecreep. This is another instance of the song being superior to the video, the super-duper cheapness of which shows all over the place (a strobe light seems to have taken up the vast majority of the budget). There’s also some really cheesy slo-mo. Bummer. At least the song is cool. I saw this band live last year and thought they were pretty disappointing, but every time I hear their recorded music, I wanna give them a second chance to win me over.

Next in line: The Ghost Inside’s video for “The Great Unknown,” which debuted on Revolver‘s website. Sergeant D. loves this band, and it’s easy for me to see why — shit is thoroughly moshable. As for the video, it’s… okay. It’s a fairly standard “life on the road” clip, the twist being that the majority of it is shot in first-person POV. It gets old pretty quickly, but I applaud the attempt to be somewhat innovative.

Also falling under the category of “Song > Video” is Gloria Morti’s new clip, “Slaves.” The most exciting parts are the close-ups of the band’s fancy hand and foot work, but still, this video isn’t gonna set the world ablaze or anything. But, again, the song is freakin’ awesome, so if you’re still not onboard with these dudes, you should definitely watch the clip to get onboard with ’em.

And we conclude today’s edition of “Cinemetal Round-Up” with “Pray for the Dead,” the new video from German power metallers Steel Engraved. The video totally fucking sucks, but I’m posting it anyway because when I sat down to watch it, I was like, “German power metal? UGH, who cares?” And then I found myself actually kinda digging the song. It sounds kinda like latter-day Anthrax if Anthrax had Ripper Owens on vocals instead of Big Chief Bellardini. I approve!