POLITICAL SOULS FOR SALE

Sunday

Jan 27, 2008 at 2:00 AM

It took me awhile, but I finally tracked down "Dirty Harry," the slimiest political operative of them all, an entity known for selling political souls to the devil in the quest for victory, power, a Newsweek cover story, and a 10-point bump in the polls.

It took me awhile, but I finally tracked down "Dirty Harry," the slimiest political operative of them all, an entity known for selling political souls to the devil in the quest for victory, power, a Newsweek cover story, and a 10-point bump in the polls.

After lying low for a couple of years, I'd heard rumors that "Harry" was on the loose again plying his trade in this wildest of election seasons — and I thought I had seen him hanging around the edges of the crowd at a few campaign events in New Hampshire, masquerading as a reporter.

Harry, who seemed never to age, is a bipartisan favorite who told me his nickname came from the pleasure he had doing the dirty campaign work of which few mortals could ever conceive.

When I finally caught up with him — after being connected through three different telephone exchanges, including one staffed by a former congressman serving time in Dante's sixth circle of hell, or heretic's hall — "Harry" said he could only talk for a few minutes.

"It's nothing but teleconferences these days," he hissed about working for two different presidential campaigns, seven U.S. Senate races, 106 U.S. House contests and a mayor's election in El Diablo, Texas.

"I'm doing this last one pro bono for sentimental sake," said Harry, who claims to have taught Karl Rove a library full of political tactics that would take decades to decipher.

But Harry confirmed to me what was being whispered in media rooms, that he was offering strategic advice to the campaign of Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton — and was a frequently called upon consultant for Republican Mitt Romney.

"Though I'd like to, and you know that modesty doesn't become me, I can't take all the credit for the Clinton double team. After all, Bill and Hill have been longtime clients, and they have picked up many tricks on their own," he said.

When I asked Harry, who had been a special adviser to Richard Nixon for more than three decades, for an example, he quickly sent me a link to a YouTube video.

"Look and see Bill the other day dressing down the media saying, 'Shame on you' when they asked him questions about his passionate advocacy of his wife. And then accusing the Obama dweebs of playing racial politics.

"You can't teach such comedic brilliance, the audacity to naturally employ hypocrisy without hesitation. I can't take credit for the depth of the political manipulation.

"When I think of the bravado, it makes my snaky skin shiver. The couple who sold the Lincoln Bedroom in the White House to the highest bidders, who pardoned an indicted financier, and then to turn the tables in virtuous rage ... this is genius. When she talks of 35 years of experience that would make her ready in the White House on day one, this is the perfect merger of product and message. So many buy it without a second thought — I mean, it could be 35 years of squashing grapes for all it matters. Candidates like this are phenomenons like comets who return every other century."

I first met Harry, or should I say he found me one day, in 1988 when he was hired to save the candidacy of George H.W. Bush. "No lie too small worth repeating and no trick too dirty worth using" was the motto on his business card.

Harry took silent credit for saving George W. Bush in 2000 by turning the Republican South Carolina primary into the equivalent of Sherman's March to the Sea.

"We scorched McCain's earth and he didn't have a chance," Harry told me later. "How would you like to fight off rumors you had fathered a black baby out of wedlock or were a wacko POW?"

Harry spoke with pride about Hillary Clinton.

"She is so right that Obama is out of their league. She has fought the wars — some of which I started while working on the other side. This Obama dandy can't compete, though I did offer him some discounted advice through a mutual friend."

"Did he listen?"

"They all listen, especially when they feel the terror of losing a political duel to the death. But this Obama is determined to fight the fates without losing too much of his soul. This makes him suspect, a Sunday school candidate I usually smash with a snap of the fingers."

When I asked Harry if he were concerned that perhaps the Bill and Hill show might overplay its run, that voters might actually choose another candidate, he dismissed the idea as impossibly naive.

"Have I not taught you anything? We will squash hope with a change bulldozer," he said dismissively.

When I mentioned Romney, Harry lapsed briefly into an Italian/Latin lecture, as though a tour guide to the greatest museums in Rome or Florence.

"Romney is the clay that sculptors admire. There's no shape he can't assume, no posture that can't be molded and then remolded. A man of no principles," he said before losing his train of thought. "This is a rare talent, one that needed only minor nurturing. He manufactures principles and heroic accomplishments out of mirages. He almost makes me believe that one cannot have freedom without religion."

I knew the outlines of Harry's playbook and asked him how things were playing out this election.

"Mitt twists the knives into his opponents and then smiles and calls them all friend. He promised to turn back the clock in Michigan and they were desperate enough to buy it."

He told me the Clinton campaign was right on schedule.

"They figured this Obama fad would pass like a bad 'American Idol' contestant and this was a miscalculation. That's why they called me, to get back on track. When he responds to our spirited attacks, we look normal by comparison, and it dampens enthusiasm for his hope and change babble."

"You mean it keeps voters at home?"

"No, you won't get that from me. Voter suppression would be against the law, but there's nothing illegal about knocking a pretty boy down a notch or two. Our goal now is to expand the gutter and bring him down to the level of typical politician.

"Hillary then looks like an adult and Obama comes off like a whiny teenager who can't have his ideals for breakfast."

I knew Harry was on the verge of a historical accomplishment — a husband-and-wife tag-team presidency. He is excited about the possibility of greater triumph than repackaging Nixon for public consumption in 1968. But he had given me my five minutes and that was enough. I know he is a compulsive gambler with many connections to wagering industry insiders. When I asked him for some safe betting tips, he said take Clinton and the points and Romney to win but not to cover.

What about the Super Bowl?

"I'm betting a bundle on the Patriots. That Belichick character has sold his soul three times over, last I heard."

Political columnist Michael McCord is the opinion page editor of Seacoast Sunday and the Portsmouth Herald. He can be reached at mmccord@seacoastonline.com.

Advertise

Original content available for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons license, except where noted.
seacoastonline.com ~ 111 New Hampshire Ave., Portsmouth, NH 03801 ~ Privacy Policy ~ Terms Of Service