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Funny satire stories about Louis van Gaal

To quash all rumours, tabloid garbage, and ex- United players blowing their trumpets about Louis van Gaal, probably the most hated United manager since Dave Sexton, United's board have announced their support for the rather unstable Dutch sergeant ma...

Louis van Gaal has set his sights on The European SuperLeague Copa America Asian Cup after their 1-0 victory over minnows Manchester City today.
In a statement leaked to Sneaky Snoops, he said "we've just beaten a very crap team, who were challen...

Ex-world famous football team, Manchester United, sponsored to the tune of 750 million pounds by world famous 3 striped producers of sports clothes, visited Legoland in Denmark and lost their blocks!
It was quite embarrassing as the team of multim...

British tabloids claim they have Louis van Gaal's scalp!
The "Hexenjagd" of the disgraceful, lying, deceitful British tabloids has reached a new low! They claim to have Manchester United's manager, Louis van Gaal's scalp!
As usual it's a bunch...

Louis van Gaal has thrown the once almighty Manchester United into a Dutch dilemma!
Will he or won't he? The great question that is sending the UK Tabloids into a frenzy as they grab at every available straw dribbling out of the Theatre of Nightma...

King Louis van Gaal, manager of a once great football club called Manchester United, has been offered the lead role in a remake of Disney's fabulous classic, Jungle Book!
He will sit on his throne, suck and spit out bananas, slip up on their skins...

A once very "Special One" loved by Chelsea Dandy's, Fairies and other Mad Hatters, has become yet another bloody victim of British tabloids a most desirable pack of blood-thirsty bloodhounds, unique in the world and second to none!
The Daily S++r,...

German footy legend, Basti Schweinsteiger, has joined Manchester United and the tabloids in the UK are having a fab day in the troughs attempting to poke a pig up the rear end!
His name translated into English is "Pigclimber'! Now established Shee...

With the transfer market offcially open a sensational transfer has just hit the headlines in the UK, Balotelli joins United!
Transfers between the arch rivals are very seldom and only an ancient Irish defender, Noel Cantwell, ever ventured between...

Co-trainer and ex Manchester United legend, Ryan Giggs, has denied there are problems between Louis van Gaal and himself because his wife is too old!
A good friend of Ryan, who we found wandering around the bus station, talking to Jaggedone's CIA'...

Louis van Gaal, much troubled Manchester United, double Dutch manager, has resorted to a drastic method of getting his lame (not Llama, not yet) team playing exciting football again.
Although United are winning many games, LVG, just does not seem...

Stressed Man United manager and master of much 'double Dutch" at his press conferences, Louis van Gaal, better known as LVG, has been given the key to Cambridge by the Lord Mayor.
The local football team, Cambridge United, made up of drunk, foreig...

It was supposed to be a milestone day for Football club Manchester United. With Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal returning from the World Cup to be presented to the United squad. However the day took an unusual turn when during a meeting with the player...

Man United's new manager, Louis van Gaal, is signing 5000 new players according to the gossip columns in the UK tabloids.
After United's demise last season every single newspaper is offering King Louis advice on who to buy and the list has reached...

Ryan Giggs was spotted leaving a Dutch coastal hotel and flying as high as a local kyte-surfer after smoking a joint or two with King Louis van Gaal.
Smoke got in their eyes as they discussed Man United's dreadful season and how the pair of them c...

Ex-Man Utd manager has been in touch with the favourite to take his place, Nederland coach, Louis van Gaal, and told him, and I quote;
"You must be f++kíng mad laddie!"
King Louis replied in his best kings Dutch,
"Gottverdomme klootzak!"...

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Holiday tips from Santa!

When interviewed, Santa clause was quoted saying "Remember, if you're going to jingle then please jingle all the way". So remember folks, Santa doesn't like a half-assed jingler.

Trump Names Sarah Palin as Chief of Staff of...

...the Upstairs Maid Crew for the White House!

Fidel Castro's Death Leads to 9 Days of Mourning

Trump's election is 22 days of mourning and counting.

Irish Priest Barred by Vatican

Controversial Irish Catholic theologian, Fr. Finnbar O'Murphy has been excommunicated by Pope Francis for declaring that "Jesus Christ did not want to suffer... for humanity or anything else."

Mike Pence Doesn't Want to Be Called Vice-President Because He is Against Vice

He thinks "The Deputy President," or even "President, Jr." would be acceptable though.

Mike Pence Doesn't Want to Be Called Vice-President Because He is Against Vice

The Deputy President, or even President, Jr. or would be okay though.

New Category in This Years Oscars

The new category is "The Dumbest Lyrics in a Musical".Fav is The Bodyguard where... Whitney Houston sings to Kevin Costner..."We both know I'm not what you... you neeeed..." What he needed was specs.

George W. Bush and Barack Obama Are Secretly Glad Trump Was Elected

They know that when Trump's term is over, no one will ever call THEM "Worst President Ever" again.

Thanksgiving Pardon

Today President Obama pardoned all the turkeys who voted for Donald Trump.

They will live out their lives standing in unemployment lines, waiting for Mr. Trump to Make America Great Again.

Trump Says He Forgot His Secret Plan to Defeat ISIS

"It's so secret I was afraid to write it down. But it'll come to me, I'm sure" said Trump.

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