Your omniscient author in absentia:
Sorry to do this to you so soon after a vacation week (though you at least did get 5 days of Lisa, right?), but I'm getting clobbered from multiple directions at the moment. Let's try to pick back up and resume tomorrow...

So it gets worse.... 2 hour commute to work this morning and while in 1-3mph traffic I go into a stupor from boredom and drive right into a truck in front of me... only minor damage to the plastic piece of bumper but still, it will cost $$ and time to fix.

I least I'm just getting clobbered and not "plugged"... so far anyway.

Question for group, or rather, the creepy part that has some knowledge of locks...

One of the things that has jacked with me past 24 hours...

Changing out a double cylinder deadbolt. Done it many times before with no sweat. But this one has me stymied... removed the two screws from the inside but had no effect on actually pulling the lock halves apart. Tried an allen wrench as well as diff screwdrivers into the screw holes thinking maybe second set of screws deeper in but nothing seem to catch. Cannot find any other screws or access points to screws. Totally baffled. Other than the allen wrench suggestion, even the interwebs has let me down.

h.b. - The funniest thing ever on this site is me giving home improvement tips. Just ask Mrs. Rob...

BUT - I actually had a similar experience recently with a dead bolt lock. Long story short, because of the torque applied in assembling the two halves, they were bound up together and "stuck". I was told to carefully lever them apart with a couple of screwdrivers, one on each side of the door, caution used to prevent dinging up the doors.

You may have a different situation, so no guarantees. But it finally worked on the very old lock I was replacing. Other than that, get a locksmith? Good luck.

This is like delivering a baby over the phone. There are screws that hold the deadbolt in place and screws that hold the faceplates/collars in place. See this for a diagram of a single cylinder lock. It sounds like you have only removed a single set of screws from the deadbolt.

Somehow today's post and comments have reached a new high (or low) of creepy weirdness. While I would give Pseudo the 'comment of the day' award for Penises and Lobsters, Yaz's late entry, including helfpul pictorial link, also inspire.