Category Archives: Tuesday Tickle

The joy of hearing about your jerk of an ex. Even when they weren’t ever really your ex.

In the background he heard Teela say, “Is that Thilo? Let me talk to him! I gotta tell him who Sam is dating now!”

Ugh. He didn’t really want to talk about Sam. Sam, who he’d had a crush on for ages, and who had used him only so he could pass Advanced Financial Accounting. Thilo’d fallen for those big blue eyes and high cheekbones, and he’d though Sam had felt the same, but was shy about it, so he’d been patient. Only to find out at graduation that Sam had been sleeping with an English major from one of the sororities the whole time. And he’d gone to work at his father’s huge accounting firm, making forty thousand a year to start, while Thilo had been forced to move out of state to get a sniff at a job that wasn’t part-time or crappy pay.

Yep, he definitely didn’t want to hear anything about Sam the Scam.

So, when Teela took the phone, he pre-empted her with a rapid fire, “I don’t want to hear it.”

“Aw, com on, Thilo, you’ll love this.”

“No, I won’t.” Not unless Sam was dating someone hideous, who would give him genital warts and make him impotent. Thilo reigned in his revenge-obsessed imagination with a sigh. “What are you guys up to?”

She laughed. “Drinking. Our own private Christmas party, and our We All Miss Thilo party.” He could barely hear her over the other four whooping, and someone—he thought it was Vic—yelled, “Hey, Thilo-man! Wish you were heeeeerrrrrrre!”

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This will be the last Tuesday Tickle for FM, until it’s ready to publish. 🙂 I’m finishing my first pass through it before it goes off to the editor. There’ll be two more before I’m done and, at that point, I’ll be chasing it out the door with a broom, shrieking, “Get up, get out, and get a job!”

He (Leo) turned his head to stare at the bathroom door. Julian had been in there for a long time. The shower was still going.

Leo rolled off the bed and went to the door. He knocked.

“Come in.”

Leo opened the door and was engulfed in steam. He felt his way into the room and sat down on the toilet. “You okay?”

The shower curtain slid back. Julian sat in the middle of the tub, his arms wrapped around his legs and his hair streaming water all down his face. “Not particularly, but I’ll get better.” His mouth pinched off the last word, as if he didn’t quite believe himself, but was trying really hard.

“I have a copy of the hard drive.”

“Is it on there?” Julian shoved his hair out of his eyes. His expression brightened and he leaned toward Leo.

Alex wanted a night of hot passion with Gerome, but he gets more than he ever bargained for. His life will be changed forever in a world where he’ll be thrown in jail— or worse— for being pregnant.

Alex’s best friend, Sam, has been acting strange ever since he met Alex’s one-night stand, but now Alex needs help in order to hide, and Sam is his only hope.

Not only is Alex pregnant, something punishable by jail time, but Gerome, the father of the baby, is a vampire prince. When strangers invade Alex’s home and kidnap him, he doesn’t know who is responsible, if he’ll ever see the man he loves again, or even get to see the child growing inside him.

Considering himself the father of his lover’s child, Sam has a hard time standing around and letting others plan Alex’s rescue. But when the Prince and his trackers find an important clue, the race to save his beloved is on. Now all he can do is cross his fingers that the scheme they’ve devised will work.

When Prince Gerome receives ransom demands, the instructions are clear: mate a complete stranger or he’ll never see Alex or the child he carries again. Will he be able to convince his newly intended to help, or will those seeking to dethrone his family win this evil game of blackmail?

Caution: Contains a kidnapping, unwanted matings, a scheming king, way too many people that follow their own plans and a highly pregnant Alex.

Chris McHart is from Germany and, while she’s an accountant, writing is her real passion. She likes to spend time with her family and has way too many animals that demand constant attention. Chris also enjoys landscaping and cooking, even if she’s still looking for someone to clean up after her.

Whenever Chris has a free minute, she spends it writing, a cup of coffee in hand, deeply lost in the worlds her muses have created. When she’s coming up for some air, you’ll find Chris on a lot of social networks. Check out Chris’s website to see where you can find out more. She looks forward to hearing from you!

Alex zapped, annoyed, through the channels. He lounged on the couch, bored out of his mind. Sam, his best friend and roommate, had taken up the recliner, reading something. Maybe Alex should do that as well? Watching TV wasn’t going to keep him entertained, since nothing caught his interest, no movie, no documentary, nothing. He zapped on, but stopped at a news report showing a pregnant man. He sat up a bit straighter. What was up with that?

The man’s stomach was swollen, showing he was at least five or six months along. His hands were cuffed in front of his baby bump and tears were streaming down his face. The camera showed a courtroom full of people, slowly sweeping over the interested men and women watching the process.

Alex turned up the volume. What had the man done? And why was he pregnant? He’d heard it was possible, but he’d never encountered someone who’d actually experienced that.

The reporter’s voice came up. “Robert B. was tried for violation of the racial laws. Today’s sentencing was long awaited. No one had heard of pregnant men for years, and there had been uncertainty about the actual jurisdiction in such cases. B., who is, according to doctors, six months along, was sentenced to five years in jail. His child will be put in an orphanage until he is released. The fathering sire has no legal claim over the child. He will be able to visit his child, but he can’t get guardianship over him or her. The child and the carrier will be outcasts of society after that.

“B. broke down after hearing the judge’s decision. Even though it’s forbidden, he clearly hoped the old laws would be overturned. Instead, the judge confirmed that male breeding between the races is still forbidden and punishable. With that, back to the studio.”

The picture changed, now showing a woman in a suit, smiling at the camera. “Thanks to our reporter in Berlin for a summary of today’s events in court. Now to the weather…”

Alex turned down the volume, muting the forecast. He turned to Sam, who had apparently put down his book to watch the news as well. “Did you hear that? How can they judge someone because he got pregnant?”

“I have no idea? Maybe because it’s wrong? Are these children dangerous? I’ve never met one, or heard of one, for that matter, but I guess there’s a reason it’s forbidden. The whole pregnant man thing is so strange, no wonder it’s against the laws. Who knows what’ll come out of such breedings.”

Alex frowned. A new life was precious, not wrong. He couldn’t imagine a child being dangerous, even if it was mixed. Children born from interracial relationships were allowed, as long as one of the parents was female and the other male. Why this didn’t apply to children born from a same-sex relationship was beyond Alex. Even if it was unusual for a man to be pregnant, he shouldn’t be put in jail for something like that.

This was the first case in a long time, according to the reporter, but he’d not given a reason why the laws were upheld. “It’s still wrong to judge someone for getting pregnant.”

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This one’s actually out now, lol. Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, Amazon.co.uk. This is the one that I donated to the Absolute Write anthology two years ago. I got the rights back a while ago, but haven’t been in the headspace to do anything with it until recently. It’s $1.49 if you want to buy it, or free through Kindle Unlimited. (I’m also going to apologize for the formatting in the excerpt–Wordpress and I aren’t getting along right now.)

“Watch your head, Henry!”

“Why—ow!” I rubbed underneath the bright yellow hard hat Jaime had made me put on. Who takes a bookworm spelunking on their birthday? Apparently, my boyfriend. I glared at him.

“Come on, relax. You’ll love it, once we get there.” Jaime grinned at me, that charming let’s-go-get-into-trouble grin that had first seduced me away from my desk, then bit by bit had carved its way into my heart.

I sighed and followed him farther into the cave. The light from our headlamps splashed about us, giving us glimpses of the damp gray rock curving overhead. The ceiling was getting lower and lower.

“Uh, Jaime….”

He turned, and I was blown away again by how much I wanted him. Almost three years now, and it had never changed. It was just like that first day, when he’d walked into the Office of Admissions at Manford Community College, where I worked, and it was all I could do not to lunge across the counter and tackle him to the floor. I still got that feeling sometimes, when he came through the door of our house, whistling cheerfully. Some days, he didn’t make it much farther than the entryway.

“C’mon, it doesn’t get much lower. You’ll be fine. It’s all good.”

“Define good.” I’m claustrophobic—not terribly so, but enough that I was very aware of the tons of rock hanging over my head, just waiting for the perfect time to fall down and bury me. Jaime doesn’t notice things like that.He’s your typical outdoorsman, with hair sun-bleached from hiking and weekend home improvement projects, and the start of crow’s feet around his gorgeous hazel eyes. His body was lean and muscled from wrestling car engines and other heavy automotive parts into places they didn’t want to go. Me, I’m your typical nerd. No glasses—thank God—since the surgery, but my hair is a brown that is just brown and my eyes are a blue that is just blue. I’m not as tall as Jaime, or as muscled. He likes hiking and exploring. My idea of a well-spent afternoon is my comfy chair on the porch with a good book.

When we first started dating, I hadn’t expected it to last long. Funny thing, though—our differences are less different than our similarities. We’re both early birds who like leisurely breakfasts. He likes to do laundry, especially if he can put it out on a clothesline. Me, I hate laundry—damn stuff never ends. But, dishes—I can get into doing dishes. We both like a tidy house. And, since I bought him those headphones, I can read in peace with my head in his lap while he saves the known world from the digital enemies of the future.

We get along. Therefore, because he was so excited about this little excursion, I was tempting fate and Mother Nature by invading the grand old dame’s insides. She is so going to get me—I might as well paint a target on my back right now and get it over with.

“You know I’m only doing this because you asked me, right?” I reached forward to take the hand he held out to me. The feel of his calluses against my own less work-worn hands made me catch my breath. Suddenly, I was willing to do just about anything to have this whole thing over, so we could go home and I could feel those calluses slide over other portions of my anatomy. God, how I loved his hands.

“You’re doing great. It’s not far now.” He helped me across the slick stones, holding me up when my feet slipped in the damp, and wrapping an arm around my waist. Once, my feet went out completely from underneath me on the slippery rock and I fell. My hero, Jaime, caught me just in time to keep me from becoming a—not so—virgin sacrifice to the gods of the earth. (Yes, I know, we’ve all fallen. But we were in a cave. With stalactites, and rock, and danger. You never know when a sudden shock will set off a landfall. And I am not athletic enough to run away from one.)

If I hadn’t been almost completely speechless with both nerves and desire at that point, I would have begged out loud to go home. From my point of view, this was as bad as playground sports when I was a kid—always too slow, always in the way. The dweeb. Jaime made it different, both more and less scary at the same time. I didn’t want to do it, but I also didn’t want to disappoint him.

I took a deep breath, and Jaime took a kiss, which was a very nice way to end a breath. I tried to keep the kiss going, but he was determined to drag me farther into the abyss, so I sighed and made sure I got to keep one of hishands for my trouble. He grinned at me, as if he knew what I was thinking, but it was worth it.

Asher doesn’t like people, and people don’t like him. He’s cool with that—all he needs from them is sex, anyway. But when he’s suddenly thrust into a strange and dangerous world filled with magical creatures, joining forces with other people may just be the only way to survive.

It’s not all bad though—in this new world, he can turn into a fire-breathing dragon! Which would be awesome if it weren’t for José, the pesky fire elf sharing his fate whose goal in life seems to be to stop Asher from ever having fun. José is hot, though and Asher wants to get into his pants just as much as he wants to get home. But José is also blind, and Asher has no clue how to charm a man without relying on his looks.

Somehow, Asher has to show José that he’s more than a sex-obsessed pyromaniac with no filter between his brain and mouth. Preferably before either of them ends up dead. Civil war rages around them, and finding the way home isn’t going to be easy. And for Asher, getting there in one piece, and with his heart intact, might just prove impossible.

A Sneak Peek:

“Where exactly are we going again?”

“Home, I hope. Eventually. But it looks like we’ll have to get to the other side of the continent. She says there’s someone there who’ll help us.”

“And you think that’ll work.”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Asher kept quiet, not having anything to say. For a moment all that could be heard was the crackling of the fire.

“You should try flying.”

“I still don’t have any damn wings.” Never mind that flying was about the last thing he wanted to do, second only to falling.

“I told you, you have to transform.”

“And I still have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

Blind Guy took a deep impatient breath. Beckoning Asher to follow, he walked out onto a clearing. “Come here and close your eyes,” he said.

Frowning, Asher did as he was told, even when it made him feel ridiculous.

“Breathe in. Hold your breath.”

Asher inhaled and stopped and glared at Blind Guy. What was this supposed to accomplish?

“Feel that?”

Feel what? He was about to ask when he did feel something. It was subtle, but with every beat of his heart, small ripples of an undefinable energy ran under his skin, through his body.

“What is that?”

“Magic.”

“For real?”

“Try it.”

“How—” Asher started, but stopped himself. The simple act of thinking was enough to cause a reaction in his magic level. The energy he’d felt before hadn’t been powerful, but as he tried to draw on it, the feeling overwhelmed him. He’d only touched the tip of the iceberg. Eager to discover all of it, he delved deeper into the stream of power until it enveloped his body in a warm glow. He lost his sense of being in the sensation. A rush of energy flooded his consciousness like a primal force, threatened to sweep him away. A roar sounded through his ears. It wasn’t until he closed his mouth that he realized it had been him.

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Whoops! It’s Wednesday, isn’t it? I really have no excuse. Writing was going well yesterday–that point in the story where you’re at the end of the downhill part of the ride, flying fast with your arms out to the wind. Only a few scenes left now, then I can start combing through the story for nits to pick. The Editor in Question has the synopsis to look at, so I’m chewing my fingernails over it.

I’m really mean to Julian throughout this, except I keep giving him opportunities to say no, and he keeps turning them down. Silly man.

Leo grunted and stepped away to give Julian room to stand up. “You’re sure you’ll be all right in there by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine. They’re not going to do anything but pictures and the video. Find that database, Leo. I’m feeling pretty sick about this afternoon.”

Leo grabbed his arm hard. “Do you want to call it off? I can have HRT here in an hour.”

“An hour’s too late. And I’m damn well not wasting the time you’ve spent here or the beatings I’ve taken over a half hour’s discomfort.” Discomfort. Ha, funny man. He wished he’d figured out how this operation was going to play out before he said yes. Or maybe not. He could see how an older agent would have trouble passing here. And Julian had always been an ends-justify-the-means kind of guy. He wanted this ring broken. No, not broken. Pulverized. Nuked from orbit, and then danced on by ninety-nine hookers in fuck me pumps. Vulnerability made Julian uncomfortable and angry, and this role was nothing but. He’d do just about anything to end it, and fast.

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Just a quick tickle, because the dayjob from before my current dayjob called asking if I could cover for someone for a week. I’m dead on my feet, and now remember why I changed jobs, lol. Oh, well, I promised. Saturday, there shall be wine. A mega-ass sized bottle of wine.

Gone past 27K now, probably going to end in the 30-35K range, especially considering that every time I go through, I always end up with more words than I started. As The Editor in Question says, “Oh, yeah, your stuff grows.”

A little piece from early in the story, just after Julian, my not-an-agent MC, has been ‘kidnapped’:

His helper took the water away long before Julian was ready to see it go. He made a sound of protest and tried to grab for it.

“Shhh. Give it a chance to soak in. You can have more in a bit.” The guy let him lie down and Julian dozed off again.

Waking up the next time was much easier. His eyes were okay with pointing in the same direction, and his head no longer felt like it had been poured full of cement. Julian surveyed his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was shoving Agent Cheyne in the mall and stomping off to the washroom. Everything after that was a blank, but if he was in a strange room, lying on a smelly mattress next to someone he didn’t know, then he’d obviously encountered Agent Gale.