Friday, November 22, 2013

Movie Review: Singh Saab the Great

One does not simply review a
Sunny Deol-Anil Sharma film. It would be like trying to grab a palm full of
water, or explaining String Theory in one line. If you’ve seen Gadar, The Hero: Love story of a Spy and Apne, you’ll know that the films they make transcend eons and
multiverses, and their sum excellence cannot be quantified because they are
beyond the realm of human understanding. Only a far more superior species with
significantly higher IQ would be able to fully cognize the various layers and cryptic
stratums of the films’ innate art.

As the trailers of Singh Saab the Great proclaimed, Sunny
and Anil come together, and the world suffers a lot. To make you understand how
significant this combo is I have to lead you to a Marvel metaphor. Sunny and
Anil coming together is an epoch busting event - it's like Batman, Superman, X
Men and the Avengers coming together to punch one single ant at the same time. The
resultant injuries suffered by the ant are what we experience whilst watching a
Sunny-Anil movie. But the pain is sacred and therapeutic, because we’re blessed
with what we see on screen, just like the ant is blessed with the touch of Marvel
superheroes’ fists.

Now then,

DO YOU LOVE LOTS OF VINTAGE SUNNY DEOL SHOUTING?

DO YOU LOVE RANDOM ACTS OF POINTLESS, LOUD AND OVER THE
TOP VIOLENCE?

DO YOU LOVE WATCHING ACTORS GET KICKED, THRASHED AND
KILLED IN INCREASINGLY RIDICULOUS WAYS?

DOES YOUR IDEA OF A DATE NIGHT INVOLVE CANDLELIGHT DINNER,
WINE AND SOME GOOD OLD HAM ACTING, UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WRITING AND DIRECTION?

If so then Singh
Saab the Great is the movie for YOU!

STAND UP AND WHISTLE as Sunny Paaji makes his entry on a
motor bike through flames and random doves in slow motion.

LAUGH WITH DELIGHT as Sunny Paaji grabs goondas, pours
pooja ghee over them, picks them up like a little toy with one hand and hurls
them in a burning pyre.

SOIL YOUR TROUSERS WITH EXHILIRATION as the camera zooms a
hundred times over Sunny Paaji’s eyes and a TIGER ROARS every time he opens
them.

CO STARRING Prakash Raj as the only character he has
played in the last ten years, hurling Punjabi one liners like a boss in Kannada
accent, hamming to the hilt and desecrating over the goodwill he built through Iruvar and Kanchivaram.

TRY NOT TO DAMAGE YOUR HANDS APPLAUDING when Sunny Paaji proclaims
that there is a Gandhi in him, but also Patel and a Bhagat Singh, and kicks a
goon in the stomach who lands on an electric fence which catches fire and
explodes like in a Michael Bay movie.

TRY TO CONTROL YOUR AWE when Sunny Paaji kisses his
heroine on her back, wears sunglasses and says ‘Don’t I look like Dharmendra’s
son now?’

TRY NOT TO DISCOLATE YOUR JAW when Sunny Paaji quotes Guru
Govind Singh about sorting things out amicably, and then grabs some swords
thrown at him in mid-air and engages in a sword fight as an Opera singer
bellows ‘Singh Saab Singh Saab Singh Saab’.