Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Zombie Davina, a quick tribute

Davina, in last night's Dead Set, shown shortly prior to tearing someone's throat out and feasting on their entrails, in a literal way rather than the usual figurative way of Big Brother...

Davina McCall wins this year's Lucy award for "Celeb who isn't afraid of laughing at themselves and their public image". Although it was a close shave for "Dr" Fox for his almost self parody on Peter Kay's Britain's Got The Pop Factor And Possibly A New Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly On Ice - but Davina scoops it, partly because I just don't like "Dr" Fox.

15 comments:

I'm sorry I missed this but sleep was calling. I like Davina very much and wish she could unshackle herself from BB... sadly she's had little success at anything else. Maybe a future in gore films is beckoning itself?

I thought she made (or is making, because I think she was still surviving as a dead person at the end of last night's episode) a convincing zombie. So much so that A slight chill ran down my spine today when I found her looking down at me in town from a hair ad poster. Credit to her. Only problem I have with the programme is that I keep expecting Simon Pegg to walk on lobbing beer cans.

She's terribly funny I agree!! (and I recall some stunt she did on that British driving-type of show with the two terribly witty guys, cracking jokes at every turn of the wheel: you know, one tall and curly-haired, middle-aged, the other short and quirky good looking> also appeared on Brainiac.....my brain is refusing to co-operate and recall the name of the show!)

Didn't know she did horror like impersonations too! (very successfully too, going by the pic which will be giving me nightmares tonight> what is it about too light milky blue eyes??)

I know, I've always thought she had brains and a sense of humour, and most importantly, the quality of being likeable and engaging. It feels like TV never quite knew what to do with her! The light-blue eyes thing - Rutger Hauer ahoy - isn't it because there's some chromosomal link between very pale blue eyes and being a psychopath? Or did I just read that somewhere?The presenters of Top gear - Jeremy Clarkson is an object lesson in how not to let your husband get as he ages, and Richard Hammond is a shameful pocket-sized heart-throb for many...

I never watch BB myself but seem to have this horrible gossip-osmosis where, without ever watching it I know the names of all the housemates. I usually know what celebs are dating what other celebs too, again without consciously seeking the information out. Scary. You don't need to have ever watched BB to enjoy it, although if you're not a fan of splattery zombie movies I'd hide your face during the gory bits...!

Was that the one where they all said "we're talking nonce-sense!!!" - Chris Morris is a genius. I believe "Dr" Fox is not actually medically qualified but he may well be a Doctor Of Leuuurve. (*shudders with distaste*)

Lucy Fishwife> Yupyup! That's the one. Chris Morris certainly is one of the best, and it was nice seeing him cameo in the IT Crowd the other week.And I choose to think of Mr Fox as a doctor of music, Specialism: POP!

Missed Chris Morris on the IT crowd but still treasure the memory of him on Alan Partridge ("...a spinal cord in a bap??"). He's one of those people everybody thinks they can do an impersonation of, and actually nobody can, quite."Dr" Fox may have bought his degree in Pop (with a subsidiary in Leurrve) online, like "Dr" Gilliam McKeith.

Lucy Fishwife> Oh, noes, you didn't invoke the McKeith, did you?The most vilest of the vile TV personalities around... who, if there is any justice, will only be remembered at all by history as the woman who made a living asking people to look at shit.

Actually (although it makes me feel profoundly physically ill to do this) I have to defend her - lots of people make a living persuading people to look at shit. "Dr" McKeith may be the only one who persuades people to look at their own...

Today (13th May 2016) I am mostly:

wondering if I can get to Tesco's and back for a sandwich without missing the afternoon book delivery (what are the odds)

reading "Archie" (the reboot of the 60s comic) by Mark Waid (Daredevil) and Fiona Staples (Saga). I was never, I should add in self-defence, an Archie fan, but the idea of it being all Sunnydaled up is intriguing. If you're a nerd.

wearing "Lys Mediterranee" by Frederic Malle. It's like I've beaten you to death with a bunch of lilies, and you liked it.

unable to stop singing "Cielito Lindo" (aka "the AI YI YI YIII song"), thanks to a violin-playing busker who has been playing variants of it outside for the last 4 hours.

About Me

A veritable dustbin of sparkly factoids. Don't let the fact that I smoke Gauloises put you off. It's a habit, not an indication of moral turpitude. I like anything in a martini glass too.
I used to say I hated politics, sport and reality TV. Then the Olympics happened. Now I just hate politics and reality TV.
My favourite quote is "Why must you tell me all your secrets when it's hard enough to love you knowing nothing?" (Lloyd Cole, for you Google searchers). Optimist by nature, pessimist by experience. Oh, and I'm a ginger.

Strange and oddly unrelated Google searches by which people have found my blog...

"pork pie sexual encounters"

"its hard to say words that is not final because many things happen in between"

"Fodens reliable ant"

"my wife say to ex i love you and to me say i love you"

"Frankie Boyle 2p sausage"

"crayon book pictures channelled whelk"

and a special apology to anyone who came here following the promise "Lucy has one of the hottest racks on the planet", IT'S NOT ME. THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER WEBSITE. Although my rack is epic in its own smalltown way.

Perfumes I may bankrupt myself buying one day.

He's one of us!!

Now I love him even more. If it turns out he also likes calvados, Nabokov and the TV works of Aaron Sorkin (what are the odds?) I will in fact lay down my life for him.

Role models I channel when necessary

Miss Prothero in "A Child's Christmas In Wales" by Dylan Thomas : "She looked at the three tall firemen in their shining helmets, standing among the smoke and cinders and dissolving snowballs, and she said, "Would you like anything to read?" "

My mother the librarian, who can express displeasure with a very slight widening of the eyes. Invaluable for dealing with the general public.

My late paternal grandmother, a woman who consumed nothing but untipped Senior Service and gin 'n' sherry (aka "alkie's delight") and once drove down a 1:3 hairpin bend in her Reliant Robin with both hands in the air cackling "Of course, I'm COMPLETELY pissed".

Eleanor of Aquitaine - brought literature and table manners to Britain. And a fellow ginger.

Miss Jones from "Rising Damp". ...."Oh, Mr Rigsby, the music's gone to my head like wine!!!"

Lady Colin Campbell

Gertrude Elizabeth Blood, 1857 - 1911. I go and say hello to Gertie Lady C every time I'm near the National Portrait Gallery. The perspective is all wrong, but she's just daring you to have a go. A raised eyebrow says more than a thousand sarcastic put-downs.

Sei Shonagon (c.966 - 1017)

...also a big fan of pointless lists of things, although I have never reached the giddy heights of "Things that look a bit pathetic".

Esteemed Colleagues

Booksellers Anonymous

"Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...this is fantastic. I'm in heaven." - Bernard from Black Books

Fictional men I have had a crush on (in chronological order)

Asterix. I wrote a proposal of marriage, to me, from him, in yellow crayon and presented it to my mother. I was 4 at the time.

Snufkin.

Prince Gwydion of the Sons of Don.

Ged, aka Sparrowhawk, the Wizard of Earthsea (well, one of them).

Tintin. What can I say? I was 6.

Mr Knightley from "Emma". So much more appealing than the rebarbative and snotty Mr Darcy. Always marry your best friend.

Brat Farrar.

Steve Carella of the 87th Precinct.

Tom Ripley, eponymous hero of the Patricia Highsmith series. Not sure if I love him or secretly want to be him (how liberating would it be to just murder some complete stranger on a train because their clothes annoy you a bit?) Envy his cute french wife though.

Amit Chatterji. Honestly, how was he not the most suitable boy?????????

John Constantine, the old Hellblazer himself. Well, it'd be rude not to. He's hot! He's scruffy! He's British! He's a warlock! And he smokes! Although the fact that he seems only to smoke Silk Cut makes him oddly wussy.

Charlie Parker - not the jazz musician, the private eye from "Every Dead Thing" et al. Traumatised. Psychic. Mind you the fact that I have a crush on John Connolly, the author, may have a bearing on this.

Berry Rydell from "Virtual Light". Endearingly shambolic.

King Mob from "The Invisibles". Buff, bald, a trained assassin, and an inveterate quoter of The Kinks.

Dexter Morgan, unapologetic (nay, gleeful) serial killer from "Darkly Dreaming Dexter". The TV series got him wrong, even if it was great viewing. Should have been Brendan Fraser.

"Angel" by Thierry Mugler. Vile. Smells of the cat-hair-covered toffee you find down the back of the sofa. Also of ageing and desperate cabin crew.

The "Toast" catalogue. Smells of linseed oil and old haddock. WHY??? What are they printing it on? Or with???

Wet Barbour jackets, and don't kid yourself otherwise, Tarquin.

Things people do that make me want to slap them.

Shout "I can't believe you're doing this to me" at a traffic warden who is, usually deservedly, giving them a ticket. Believe it, love, the evidence is right before you.

Preface a question with "Question!"

Get grumpy about "too much choice" in bookshops etc. What the hell does "too much choice" mean??? I've started saying cheerfully "Absolutely! Bring in a totalitarian Communist state and you'll just have one book which you'll HAVE to read!"

Sulk. Irritating in a small child, positively BACKWARD in anyone over 15.

Use phrases like "it's not in my skill set" when they mean "I'm too idle/self-important to learn". Lucinda Ledgerwood, come on dowwwwwn!!