"So here's the problem," Lolo began. She had invited me to lunch to discuss the Brandon situation. After ordering our food, she got down to business.

"B's being completely irrational," she continued. "He wanted to have this big romantic surprise homecoming, and it got ruined, and now his precious male ego is all bruised, and he's being a big baby about it. But there's a bigger problem in all this. Matt. He's always in B's ear, saying stuff like, [cue Matt impression and hand-talking motions] 'Bro, she's just like Starr, she's just going to keep screwing you over.' Matt hates Starr, and he's the one who finally convinced B to dump her. So Brandon's having all of these Matt-induced Starr flashbacks on top of everything else, plus he's still decompressing from all the family crap. And in Matt's defense, he really does think you're an evil whore who is out to destroy his best friend, so it is coming from a good, if sorely misguided, place."

"Um, that was kind of a lot to take in all at once," I responded.

"I know, and for the record, I know you are neither an evil whore nor a Starr clone. In fact, you're the only girl B's ever dated who I actually think is right for him, which is why I'm getting involved. He won't listen to me, though, so I came up with another plan."

She went on to explain the plan. Matt has a guitar lesson on Saturday afternoon near his old place--

"You didn't know?" she asked, surprised. "He found a place three blocks away from you. Moved in two weeks ago."

Brandon's been THREE BLOCKS AWAY FROM ME this whole time?

She continued. Matt's lesson is an hour long, with an hour of travel time each way, so that gives us a solid three hours. She's going to invite herself over to make Brandon brunch, and as soon as Matt's out the door, she's going to text me and I'm going to go over. Then she'll leave, and I'll try to talk some sense into Brandon.

"Maybe you should actually feed him before I come over," I added.

"Oh, good point! He's much more agreeable when he's already eaten."

Is this going to work? I don't know. Neither does Lolo, but I'm going to give it my best try. It feels good to have someone in Brandon's life in my corner, I have to say. If it doesn't work, though? Then I'm going to be completely out of ideas. I wonder how many other tricks Lolo has up her sleeve…