Hard habit to break?

I won't stop abusing drugs because it appears to me that many great artists have also abused drugs. I know that this is flawed logic, because there are also many great artists who did not abuse drugs. Here is where biological systems of addiction come into play; the acknowledgment of which then leads me back to my belief that many great artists have abused drugs.

Living is the hardest habit to break, considering that we seem to come from nowhere and go nowhere in the end. It seems it is all futile in the end for the individual, only the species matter. So why do we keep living? Believing in the after life is the solution for most people. The pain of living is compansated by religious love. Religious feeling must be like sexual love. The pain of commitment to a relationship is compansated by sexual love. It is very hard to give up sex (monks must know that quite well), but it is even harder to give up life, because love hormone is the sweetest drug there is.

Patterns and neural pathways are established in our early years, mostly as a result of parental influence and, to a lesser extent, peer and school influence. Our views of reality are largely the ideas and beliefs of others. I wish I could see things without this filter, even without the connotations of language...the way things really are.

there is a deeply entrenched pattern of ego possession peculiar to the human species that I wish I could abandon. It is the very "I" that "I" wish "I" could abandon, as what I am (what I is) is a separation or splitting of consciousness off from the wholeness of non-ego possessing natural instinct. While flaura, fauna and features have selves, the human self in the common condition is distinct from that otherly wholeness...flesh, particularly human flesh, mindful of self, mindful of mind, mindful and unmindful of hand and mind, walks aright among an impassive mightiness that is all other. Woe for the fear of death- somewhere in evolution those sublime perceptual apparatus of the modern human bicameral mind turned all the way inward to their metaphysical 'radius lock' and these tandem perceptual oculars focused deeply into one another's lenses of the self- a neurological IM opened between dirt and star. That instantaneous exchange of infinite knowledge and the subsequent stricken nature of returning to bare mortality leaves this ennui and vague but thankfully hopeful dissatisfaction with mere being.

Pornography is a difficult ( impossible?) habit to break. I've been addicted since I was 13 and I'm close ( too damn close )to 50 now. Porno is fine if your intent on remaining alone, but it can really screw up a relationship. Your partner can never approach what is available in the world of porn. It's an endless smorgasboard of unilateral pleasure. Do yourself a favor and just say no before starting down this road.

There's a girl I've been in love with for a year and a half now. We dated for a year, and then broke up because we weren't treating eachother with much respect at all.

I'm still in love with her. Madly, insanely so. My friends know me as the archetype of rationality, I'm a Vipassana meditator, I eschew most of the pleasures of this world...but god damn. Nothing I can do about this one. She keeps treating me like utter shit and I would take her back in a heartbeat. Breaking up with her (my decision) still haunts me every single day. She truly doesn't deserve me, for a varitey of reasons, but for some reason she'll have me, whenever...if ever she wants me.

I like tater tot's answer but I'm afraid the only ones who accomplished that are those like Buddha & Jesus. So quit grinding your teeth. AS for me, I always wished I was wiser & more understanding at an earlier age. It took me too long to get out of that black-white problem & find the gray.

I want to abandon the way I am metiphorically burning my wings. I want to keep my innocence and morals, maintain my goodness, but I feel I am slipping into, onto something else entirely. Failing at that, I want to isolate and keep a part of my old self alive.