Friday, 18 October 2013

Defying Gravity

Well, here we are again, dear friends. It's been a while, but this time I've got a pretty good reason. I hit a rich vein on the writing front and managed to properly put fingers to keyboard and get my TV script written. Sure, it's still got a long way to go, but it exists. It is a thing. A thing that popped into my head around 2 years ago, and now exists on paper and on screen. Well, on my laptop screen. As for the TV screen, let's see.

I'll be honest with you, I was starting to worry that I'd never get anything written. People would ask what I was doing while the kids were at nursery (because obviously keeping a house and 4 people clean, fed and supported is not enough) and I'd say "Actually, I'm trying to write something". And they'd nod and say something like "Wow, good for you..." and back slowly away from the crazy lady. I get that. It's a bit of a bold statement, I guess, to say, "I have an idea that I think is good enough to get made and be watched by lots of people". But here's the thing: I really do think that. And I really am going to try and make that happen.

Over the last few weeks I've worked through a range of emotions. I was elated with the achievement of having a script that makes me laugh, frustrated at how long and cluttered the road ahead seems to be, uplifted by the positive feedback I've had from the 2 people I've shown it to (okay, fine, one of them was Mr W, but trust me, he's no pushover), and am now nervously excited as I await feedback from the next 2 people, one who actually knows how to screenwrite, and another who is an actress. I'm expending nervous energy like a big ball of...nervous energy gas? I don't know, that one got away from me there.

I'm not really afraid of much in life (apart from sharks, but honestly, that's just common sense) but I must admit, I'm afraid of a few things on the writing front. I'm afraid I'll turn out to not be very funny, which after 33 years of being 'the funny one', could be something of a blow. I'm afraid that impatience will cause me to hit Send before it's completely brilliant, and blow my chances of getting it made. I'm afraid that I'm just as much of a cliché as every other writer out there, convinced that they have the Best Idea Ever.

Thankfully, this is where being a peppy optimist really comes into its own, as I'm spending probably an equal amount of time wondering which designer's frock I'd most like to wear to the BAFTAs. Seriously. I googled Monique Lhuillier at one point. A little part of me is flying, just from the thrill of actually trying.