Jonathan Rhys Meyers Gossip

If you thought Twilight cut vampires off at the knees, what do you think the censor-y limits of network television will do to them?
The TCA’s summer meeting is going on right now, when the networks unveil their fall line-ups, and NBC announced that they have ordered ten episodes of a show called Dracula and that it will star Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Full Story

Well, he's in Canada. Tom Hardy returned to Vancouver after a very, very brief trip (just a few hrs) to LA to get right back to work on This Means War. Am told that the purpose of the quick travel was indeed to finalise the Batman deal. A question came up yesterday during the TV LiveBlog about Jonathan Rhys Myers. Full Story

Egregious. Offensive. Horrifying. Foundation abuse? Frying pan? Lindsay Lohan? Not sure. But Toni Collette deserves better than this. So much better. How does this happen? How can you go to the Golden Globes without proper lighting? It’s unforgivable. It’s totally unacceptable. And the only saving grace about it all is that she shut down Courteney Cox. Full Story

Jonathan Rhys Meyers celebrated his 32nd birthday yesterday at the U2 show in Dublin almost a month after he was arrested in Paris for pulling a Kiefer Sutherland style drunken rage on a waiter in an airport bar. He’ll appear in court in September. JRM has been f-cked up now for over 2 years but is said to be working hard at sobriety and indeed, he does look much healthier here, with a little extra weight, and a lot less crazy in the eyes. Full Story

Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Donatella Versace attended the White House Correspondents’ dinner together both matching orange. I’m telling you: he’s getting uglier. Turns my stomach the manicured facial hair and the way his lips are the same colour as the rest of his face. Gross. Considering their past fondness for the hard blow, putting them together could be disastrous. Full Story

It’s Jonathan Rhys Meyers at the Season 3 premiere of The Tudors last night in New York looking overcooked, dehydrated, and quite possibly cranked. His face… Is it cracking? It’s so dry it’s cracking. And his lips – freaks me out when mouth and skin are the same colour with just a white outline around the lips. Full Story

Maybe because his girlfriend wasn’t with him. Have they split up? Maybe because he’s always been a tortured soul. Maybe because he knew he was in for 3 hours without a bump. Maybe he had the flu? Ate some bad Chinese? Whatever the reason, JRM is hurting. Same goes for his skin. And while my loins have never particularly hankered for his business, I’ve always conceded in the past, he is a beautiful, beautiful boy. Full Story

Remember Travolty at the Super Bowl in Phoenix? Fluffing it up with spray paint? Michelle and I were able to look at it up close when we saw him on the carpet. All I could think about when I was speaking to him was whether or not that sh-t is hard to wash off. Click here to revisit supergay’s superspray at the Super BowlFull Story

It’s Travolty in France, still shooting with the androgen of his massage fantasies Jonathan Rhys Meyers. The film is called From Paris With Love – something about a spy although originally he probably thought it was a romance. Still, spending every day on set with someone as pretty as JRM is making JT very, very happy. Full Story

Check out John Travolty tryin’ to rock the butch. And look how happy he is to be acting with pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers in a new movie called From Paris with Love. Xenu’s main ‘mo apparently plays a spy. There are many high end luxe spas in Paris though they may not be familiar with his massage requests… which, as legend goes, involve a man and a finger up the ass. Full Story

Last night in New York – the premiere of The Tudors Season 2. Wanna play “make a story”? The tabloids do it all the time, simply by looking at photos and conjuring smut from just one frame. In this case, several suggestive frames. Have a look… Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his ubiquitous medicated freaky eyes with long time girlfriend Reena Hammer. Full Story

Jonathan Rhys Meyers winning Best Actor in a Lead Television Role at the Irish Film and TV Awards with his girlfriend Rheena Hammer. As you can see, he’s as buggy-eyed as ever. And clammy too. Clammy with the shakes? Anyone who’s ever been addicted to any substance, including cigarettes, will know the feeling. Full Story

So I saw August Rush last night. Had they released the film at any other time of year, the corny sentimentality would have been intolerable. INTOLERABLE. But it’s 4 weeks to Christmas and the ice blue crystal lights lining the sidewalks are irresistible and people are still nice to each other in the shoppes and I haven’t seen my parents in two months and I miss them and Freddie Highmore is so endearing and (for me at least) for the first time, Jonathan Rhys Myers, who doesn’t have cracked out bug eyes, provides massive quiveration – he is gorgeous – so suffice to say, unlike Enchanted, which is enchanting at any time of year, August Rush is the kind of implausible sweet that can only be swallowed during the small window between US Thanksgiving and Boxing Day after which it just becomes absolute sh*t.

Let it be known however Emmy Rossum’s kind of sweet can never be swallowed any time under any circumstances.

By the way, did you know JRM dated Toni Collette??? In this movie, he really is sublime. And not androgynous at all.

Thursday, live blogging, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Salma Hayek is not Cheap & Crafty. Besides, she’s not married yet, is she? Also not Sarah Jessica Parker who IS cheap and crafty and golden in a way but not with the biggest prize. And that pointless new Sex & the City movie isn’t getting her there either.

Nothing worse than a belligerent drunk – in this case not surprising. Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested yesterday at the airport in Dublin for getting drunk off his tree and losing his sh-t at the gate. He was apparently asked twice to chill out and when uncooperative, Crazy Eyes was then hauled down to gaol. Full Story