Dear Abby: Out-of-control daughter puts baby at risk

Dear Abby: My 23-year-old daughter is out of control. She has a 2-year-old daughter, but she lives her life on the edge. She spends her days on the Internet meeting strange men and going out with them in private places. On the weekends, she drops her daughter here and takes off.

She has a history of drug and alcohol abuse and prostitution, but swears she only drinks alcohol now. I get so worried and upset I find myself yelling at her and trying to prevent her from leaving with these strange men. What should I do? I’m getting too old to be stressing out about what she’s doing and who she’s with. — Stressed-Out In California

Dear Stressed-Out: You can’t “save” your daughter. Until she realizes she needs help, is willing to accept it and change her life, she is unreachable. You can, however, talk to an attorney about gaining legal custody of your grandchild.

Terrible things can happen to women who do what your daughter is doing. That little girl needs safety, consistency and stability

Dear Abby: I read the obituaries in our local newspaper every day to see if someone I know has died. But when I don’t see any familiar name, I feel let down and disappointed. Is that weird? — Still Alive In San Diego

Dear Still Alive: People read the obituary section for various reasons, including the fact that some of the deceased have lived very interesting lives. Some do it hoping they won’t find their own name listed. If they see the name of an acquaintance, they may feel sadness at the loss or sympathy for the family, knowing each death leaves a hole in someone’s heart. But to feel “let down” seems to me like a lack of empathy, and in my opinion, is weird.

Dear Abby: Please remind your readers that it is the job of retail workers to help customers. We are not “liars” or “stupid” because our store happens to be out of a toy that an angry parent “must” have this holiday season. It is amazing how this year’s hot toy item can turn parents into monsters.— Santa’s Helper In Iowa City

Dear Santa’s Helper: I’ll remind them, but the parents you describe are under pressure because they don’t want to disappoint their kids. To the panicked parent who asks, “What am I supposed to do now?” you could respond by saying, “Now you go to Plan B.” Then suggest some other toy the child would like — even though it’s not his or her No. 1 choice.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.