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Who Will Win The Election? It's All In Their Names

Are you unsure of who to vote for in the upcoming election? With so much information to juggle how can you be sure of who is best to lead our country? According to author Sharon Lynn Wyeth, creator of Neimology Science, the answer in in their names.

“It's gonna be an incredibly close race because both have challenges in their names and both have gifts,” explains Wyeth. Her name analysis is one way to help you decide which candidate stands for issues most important to you.

1. Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin has failed at just about everything and still somehow manages to stay relevant. Seriously, what other losing vice-presidential candidates can you name? That said, she has to be doing something right. My Fox News-loving grandpa tells me it's the legs, and I'll take his word for it.

Facebook

2. Paul Ryan

Paul Ryan: Because behind every conservative is a very dark, deviant, pervy side. Look at those eyes, that smug smile, that widow's peak. Dude is probably into some freaky shit.

Paul Ryan

3. John Boehner and Mitt Romney

John Boehner and Mitt Romney count as one person because they have so much in common besides their Republican loyalty. And by "so much in common" I just mean "orange skin." What makes that sexy? C'mon, don't act like Doritos aren't delicious.

CNN / ABC

4. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is the Beyonce of the Supreme Court, and you will deal.

WikiMedia

5. Marco Rubio

Some people think it's not hot if someone's too thirsty. The good thing about Marco Rubio's insatiable thirst, though, is that it makes him a man who will do whatever it takes.

YouTube

6. Joe Biden

Is there any living politico on Earth you'd rather have a beer with than Vice President Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl Joe Biden? He has no filter and no f*cks left to give. And he does things like this constantly.

White House

7. Elizabeth Warren

Whether or not Elizabeth Warren's cheekbones are a result of her alleged Cherokee heritage, they're working as well as her legislation does. Especially considering that haircut.

Elizabeth Warren

8. Rick Santorum

Google or Urban Dictionary "santorum." If that's your thing, well, he's your guy, considering it's basically what comes out of his mouth every time he speaks.

10. Rick Perry

For all you women who are into Christian Grey, consider former Texas Governor Rick Perry your guy, because he's domineering, rich, white and wants total control of your reproductive organs.

Rick Perry

Sarah Palin has failed at just about everything and still somehow manages to stay relevant. Seriously, what other losing vice-presidential candidates can you name? That said, she has to be doing something right. My Fox News-loving grandpa tells me it's the legs, and I'll take his word for it.