>A Little Help Here?

>Intentional Inefficiency is our term for the type of passive aggressive behavior that occurs when a person complies with a given request, but carries it out in an unacceptable manner. The frustrated requestor usually ends up doing the task himself and refrains from asking the person to do it again in the future…which suits the passive aggressive person just perfectly!

This great example of intentional inefficiency was posted on Passive Aggressive Diaries.com by “anonymous” on 9/16/09:

Frequently when I ask my boyfriend to help out cooking, which he absolutely hates, I find that he, all the sudden, loses his ability to function properly on his own. He moves at about the pace of a snail. He claims that he does not know what he’s doing and that he never learned how to cook. I therefore explain to him exactly how he is supposed to do that particular task. He then proceeds to act extremely clueless, like I’m explaining how to do brain surgery. Then I even show him. Once I’ve shown him the proper way to cut the fat off of a piece of chicken, he annoyingly, and EXTREMELY slowly, proceeds to do so making sure to do it in a way unlike that which I just showed him. He does so because he knows that once I finish preparing everything else, I will become annoyed with his lack of production and take over the task myself.

Do you have examples of intentional efficiency or other passive aggressive behavior in your relationship? Please post them here!

Meta

Signe Whitson is an author and educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. In her articles, books, and training workshops, Signe provides down-to-earth, practical advice for professionals and parents on navigating the daily challenges of living and working with children, tweens and teens.