Sure, I should have set up the video, but I like to throw people in the deep end, let them get their feet wet and water in their lungs, you know. Essentially, it’s a fake reality (?) show about a family in the witness protection program, and it’s so absurd I absolutely love it. Season 2 premieres August 22, and I can’t believe I missed it during its initial run.

This second item… I’m not too proud about my excitement.

Apparently, some time between me leaving grade school and starting high school, these toys were out in stores:

Computer Warriors?!? Fucking robots hiding inside soccer balls, flashlights, and Pepsi cans?!? Mattel must have been trying to capitalize on the success of M.A.S.K. (my all-time favorite toy line) and Transformers, but just a tad too late or too early. If these would have lasted on the market, or arrived on the scene two years later when I had my first job at a toy store, I would have had them all.