Older, but no wiser

Andy Borrows' musings on life and all its confusion, contradictions, richness and opportunities

Monday, April 19, 2004

Enough..

I started a post this morning announcing my semi-retirement from blogging.

Over recent weeks, blogging has unfortunately become just another source of stress and I have too many of those already. I need to get rid of some of them, and like a balloonist throwing out ballast to stay aloft, I can only get rid of sources under my control. So, reluctantly, I decided blogging had to go – at least for the time being. This way of thinking has nothing to do with whether or not I want to write; whether or not I believe I’m any good at it; very little to do with whether I have anything much to say (which at the moment I don’t). Just simple dynamics that my balloon is sinking earthwards and I need to do something about it. I’ve got into the mind-set that I “ought” to be posting something regularly yet I’ve been failing miserably to do so. Self-imposed stress.

Maybe I’ll be away from here for a week, a month, a year - I don’t know. Or maybe by publicly removing the obligation to post, I remove the stress, and so can post again. In which case I may be back tomorrow, wearing a rather sheepish grin.

Like I said, I started the post but then thought better of it. Hang on a bit longer. But catching myself tonight getting crotchety with my friend Euan, maybe I was right. I need a break.

The real source of stress of course isn’t blogging. Much of it is related to work. But that is also my balloon. Throw that out and I WILL plummet to earth in no uncertain terms. So one thing at a time. Sort the job first. Maybe even up sticks and relocate; go and do something completely different. All things are possible.