Thursday, November 21, 2013

New Socks, New Man

Guys, I bought me some socks. Top notch socks with all sorts of features to increase comfort and stay-up-ability. You see, my old socks had all sorts of stay-up-ability issues. Any time I started walking it was like someone dropped a Slinky® around my ankles. Anyway, these new socks came in many different colors and patterns. For example, the socks I'm wearing today are gray with purple polka dots. They stay up very nicely. They are also very comfortable. They even have some sort of extra elastic or something around the mid-section of the foot that increase stability or comfort or something. I don't know. I'm not some sort of sock technician. I'm pretty sure those bands are infused with some sort of artificial business performance feature that allows me to navigate the hallways and conference rooms at peak efficiency. I definitely feel efficient in these socks. You should see the way I run meetings now that I feel confident in my sock game. I'm undefeated in meetings since I've been wearing these socks. Who knows what might happen with tomorrow's socks? What color will I choose? Green and navy stripes? Pink and gray stripes? Maybe even aqua socks with thin gray stripes? I could choose any one of those and then DOMINATE my meetings. I've a veritable buffet of socks to choose from. These socks are versatile, too. I can't wait to wear them to more casual events so I can start dominating those, too. I'm about to win all of the cocktail hours and brunches and group dinners. It's a brand new me with some brand new socks and you're about to get OWNED.