Tag: marriage

She ran as fast as she could. The pain burned her body and soul. She wanted to look back, but fear stopped her. She saw a fleck of light at the end of the road. She could hear the noise of the metal wheels. She ran faster. The darkness ahead of her way comforted her but she still yearned to reach the light at the fag end of her road of hope. The metal wheels shrieked and suddenly a bright light made her blind. The night refused to end.

Her soul respired, her body knitted and her heart ached. Her blurry eyes saw his teary eyes. She could see his smile between the smelly tears. The salty kiss made her realize that she was alive because he was her destination, he was the gospel truth of her existence and he was her man.

Their love wiped the slate clean and when she looked out of the window the Sun was already up and shining in their life.

do you think it is easy for Indian men to marry the woman of their choice?

Top eight responses are below

Majority of people in India still believe in caste system. Exogamous marriages are still taboo for majority of India. Usually the focus of the cyber space is only on the urban middle class, that is why this question arises in the first place. If we look at India as a whole it’s clear that love marriages outside one’s caste are rare. The answer is NO – Aravind Vivekanandan

This is more than a yes or no question as it depends on

a. Whether the man looks at marriage as a mandate in his life

b. Whether the man has the potential to pick a woman to spend his life with, forever

c. Whether the man has the patience and clarity in explaining his parents his stance or run out of his family construct and live his own way. – Charan Saravana

No – first of all “that woman” has to agree then her parents have to agree or if not that woman has to be brave enough to resist parents wish and stick to marrying us without changing mind and listening to her parents choice and this is independent of the pressures and fights in convincing the man’s family and justifying the choice to everyone around who keep asking “but why? why?” – Name Withheld

It is a bit easy when it is compared to Indian women. But still, there are lot of obstacles faced by both men and women in this particular issue. The parents think that their right to chose the partner for their son/daughter is robbed and it is not easy for both men and women. The emotional blackmail, the suicide threats and things like that are same. But since most of the men do not react openly to this and drain their reaction in smoking or drinking, these threats becomes void. Men have a support system called friends, while the parents block that for the girl while forcing them for marriage – Bragadeesh Prasanna

It all depend on the individual. You are free to live your life the way you feel, if you let society oppress you they will. If you fight back and do things you like basically be a jerk to society. they will try harder to please you. The bigger problem in India is its difficult to find a woman you want to be. You can’t “know” a person for a while to decide to marry them. – Name Withheld

Imagine shopping in a supermarket with your parents and relatives. You may look at any product you want and may convince your parents and relatives to some extent about your liking for a certain product. But ultimately it is a group decision. You as a customer may get a few advantages but not much.Sorry to compare women to products. I meant no disrespect. And most arranged marriages are a result of mutual discussions but with regard to choices men may have a greater say because they are usually the “initiators” – Name Withheld

no, it is not! Because the families have beliefs about the family in which the son should marry. These beliefs are mostly different to the person which the son loves – Joe Di

No, it is hard for the most part is first finding a women. Yes a womennot a girl.Next she must share your personal, social and human values.Next she must feel the same way about you.Next comes caste bigotryAfter that religious bigotryLater comes social status bigotry… lets just say bigotry.Easier way is, I read women are for sale for wifely services for aslow as 70,000 maybe putting an emi on it will be a good idea. – Name withheld

Yes of course.More than from the family, the pressure is from society, from relatives and surprisingly ,at least in my case,from friends – who have married before me.They keep telling me how much better life is after marriage and advising me to do it- marry anyone/someone as early as possible –Name withheld

Yes and No. It depends on their family and themselves. Some family wants their son to get married as early as possible. There are various reasons for it – to get quick money in the form of dowry, sometimes to get someone into their son’s life so that he becomes more responsible.Some men pressure their family to get them married soon – because they are already high earners in their job and they think they are ready to settle in life.Some others simply want to marry soon just for free sexual pleasure. – Joshi Mukard

Yes. simple answer is “because it’s India”. This is a country where we value family much more than probably any other country. Since Indian culture is adopting western culture so blindly, new generation or liberal families may accept a son’s interest. But I feel a lot of population in the country is still somewhat sticking with tradition, hence the pressure. – Kizhakkepurakkal Ashwin

Yes, men are pressurized by their family to get married – it is the notion that our parents want to see us married and believe that they have completed their duties as per Shastras and can now live in peace going to some holy pilgrimage or the other! – Mahesh Lakshmanan

Of course we do. Love marriage is still a taboo in India and your parents are not going to find you a girl when you are 30. It’s best for them to start early so that they have time to get you “fixed”. Again stupid society pressure such as what will people think of me and frankly I don’t think Indian men feel that they can ever get a girl on their own.That’s why we rely on our parents to find someone for us – Name withheld

Like this:

Despite the geographical and cultural differences, the world hates changes. A history would be created if the world had ever encouraged anybody who has tried to deviate from the traditional, usual and tried out path. But, the interesting fact is that the ones who succeed in the end are always unbelievably praised, incredibly worshiped and gloriously thrown in air by the world.

Why does the world NEVER encourage people to go off the track and try to experience something new?

“Why you are not like other girls?” was the most common question which I have faced in my life. I would end up giving a blank stare to everyone who fired away this question. Let me not gender bias this issue.But, it is the same with boys/men too. If all the kids in a particular area play cricket, and if there is only one kid in love with tennis then, the family, relatives and everyone around him would make him know the brunt of being different from others.

Similar approach but terribly nasty handling happens if the off the track happens in studies or marriage; especially love marriages. An old man whom I met at the airport told me that he was a farmer. A farmer in the airport? My jaw dropped. Then I thought he was an owner of the farm-house. But NO! He was cultivating wheat and corn. He literally sank in the flood of my questions. He was an engineer who passed out with a 1st class but after wasting 10 years of his life doing jobs which he disliked, he moved to farming. Nobody supported him. But today his biography is a blockbuster hit in his hometown. After saying goodbye to him, I could imagine the scenes in his house which he must have undergone during his off the track decision period.Curses, teasing, emotional blackmail, the black mole who spoiling family’s pride and honor, blaming to be a fool and many more.

Why? Why does the world refuse to give a helping hand when someone wants to see and feel a different life?