Peyronie's Disease

A Surprise Package

What if you woke up tomorrow and your penis was . . . very, very different?

October 11, 2009

Reported by Bill Karl, Photograph by Jamie Chung

"The most embarrassing thing I've ever experienced happened to me yesterday," says Tom, my business partner. It was just our normal office breeze-shooting, turned confessional: Tom had developed a hemorrhoid. When he went to have it checked, he learned that his regular physician had been called away, and he was passed on to another doc—a sensationally attractive female.

I nod. I am not impressed. Tom sees this and gives me a look, like, Do you hear what I'm saying?

"I can top that," I reply. "I went to see a urologist 6 months ago. He sent in a hot nurse—'so damn hot,' as you say—who stuck my shaft with a needle to give me an artificial erection. Then she took a picture of it."

Silence.

My God, I think, I've actually told someone. Surely Tom could be trusted to keep this one in the vault. We've shared plenty of secrets. He scrunches up his face, wondering if I'm kidding. Little does he know that the most incredible part of my story is yet to come.

"Here's what happened," I say.

IT STARTED WITH A FEROCIOUS PISS BONER. I had awakened during the night and was headed for the bathroom when I saw, to my horror, that my erection was bent at a 90-degree angle and now stared at the ceiling. I tried to straighten it, but couldn't. So I leaned forward and bent my already bent penis painfully toward the wall of the bowl. Thankfully, my erection eased as the pee flowed.

What was this? I bolted downstairs, googled "bent penis," and blinked at the copious results. Something about Bill Clinton. A bunch of porn. (Who knew?) Finally, there it was. I had Peyronie's disease. There was a photo of a penis bent just like mine.

Experts don't know how prevalent the condition is. According to the highest estimates, more than 25 million American men could be walking around with penises gone wild. I'm sure that number would surprise Francois de la Peyronie, the French surgeon who first described the disorder in 1743. Nearly 300 years later, no one really knows what causes it.

The primary theory is that it's an injury to the penis resulting from sexual activity (excessive masturbation, strain from a penis pump, or trauma from a madcap sexual adventure). Well, I haven't masturbated excessively since I was 14. All right, 24. As for penis pumps and kinky sex, they're just not my bag.

Other theories peg Peyronie's as an auto-immune or hereditary disorder. Some docs think certain medications may cause it, especially blood-pressure and heart meds known as beta-blockers. This theory hit home for me; I'd been taking blood-pressure pills for a dozen years. Still, Peyronie's has been around for centuries, and beta-blockers have not.