Now, the NHL has asked the "Green Men," the Vancouver Canucks’ silly twins of hijinx and shenanigans, to tone down their act. According to Yahoo! Sports, the league has informed the “Green Men” — who go by the monikers Force and Sully — that they’re no longer allowed to touch the penalty box glass or perform handstands to distract visiting team’s players.

Even worse, the NHL made the team inform the duo of the ruling.

“The Canucks have our backs,” Sully said. “The NHL didn’t want to call us personally, so they had the Canucks do it for them.”

Yep, that sounds about right. Why let devoted fans have some harmless, goofy fun when you can pass ridiculous and unnecessary rulings?

While they’re at it, here are a few other rule changes that should be implemented any day now for fans and players alike:

• No more playoff beards. They could scratch someone’s eye out.

• For the love of god, no fighting. What are we barbarians?

• This should be a given, but a hat trick should only draw polite applause now. Keep your lid on.

• No touching the glass. Fish don’t like it when you bang on an aquarium, so imagine how the players feel.

• From now on the Zamboni will be called the “Ice Tractor.” Too much potential for word play with the old term.

• Nicknames should no longer be derived by adding a Y or S to someone’s last name, ala Smitty or Drapes. Nicknames are for mobsters, Air Force pilots and Chris Berman.