Stories and happenings in the life of a flight attendant written after my book.
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All photos by Penguin Scott unless noted.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

My Favorite Things: Peopletainment

Reflection of a plane

I used to date this
woman who used to love to going out to eat. Who doesn't? The odd
thing about it was that we would sit in a booth or table in silence,
giving one another odd glances and from time to time laughing out
loud.

There is a routine I
once watched by one of my favorite comics, Lewis Black. He talks
about hearing someone say the dumbest thing ever heard, “If it
weren't for my horse, I'd never have spent that year in college.” I
completely identified with this hilarious routine. (You can hear it
on YouTube.)

Dinner entertainment: eating too fast

So my date and I
would sit and listen to conversations at various eateries. I never
heard anything as dumb as the comment about the horse, but we heard
quite a few interesting things. And as much as I love to listen in to
strange conversations, I love even more just watching people. I can
do it in malls and parks, but airports are about the best places.

For one thing, you
can watch people from all over the world. Different cultures
converging in one place is usually a recipe for fun. You see an empty
gate room full of seats and one person in a corner enjoying the
space. Another person will enter the area and take a seat within
spitting distance, ignoring all the other seats available. Normal
people wouldn't go and sit right next to someone in an empty area!

Another fun aspect
of airport people watching is that there is normally a degree of
stress involved. Packing, getting in a car, fighting traffic,
parking, lugging the baggage, a nagging wife, 3 screaming kids laden
with toys, and their strollers and car seats, standing in line to
check bags, going through security, finding your gate and then having
it change at the last minute, but then the gate isn't just across the
hall, but in another terminal (it happens often in Houston). It's
great entertainment to watch the meltdown and terse commands to their
family members!

I love the elderly
who don't understand that the only one hard of hearing is themselves.
They can be talking to the person next to them, but loud enough for
me to hear them 40 feet away.

I love trying to
figure out people's story. I know I'm probably wrong, but who
cares...it's MY entertainment.

The main terminal in Lima

Recently, I watched
an employee drive up in a golf cart and approach the jetway. An
aircraft had just arrived and the people had yet to emerge. I noticed
that she had a sign in her hand, obviously waiting for a top-tier
flier, ready to whisk him to his next flight. At some airports,
Mother Airline employs a fleet of Mercedes and they deliver them from
one plane to the next on the tarmac. I guess in Houston, they only
get a golf cart.

A man finally
emerged with two young boys en tow, about 11 and 14 in age. The man
and employee took a seat in the front and the two boys sat in the
rear. What I found fascinating was that the boys were not enamored
with personal electronic devices. Looking around at other kids, they
were all busy with phones, game devices, DVD players and laptops.
These young men were interested in watching what their father was
doing, learning how to interact, watching how this important man
dealt with things. “Good parenting,” noted my flying partner, who
had been observing the same thing.

The terminal in Houston

In most airports,
flight crews have a lounge in which to hang out in, or, as we might
say, “hide.” It's a great place to pull paperwork for a flight,
work on trades or schedule bids, take a nap, eat a bite or make phone
calls. Most flight attendants make a bee line for the lounge and only
emerge for their flight at the very last minute, savoring the time
away from passengers for as long as possible. But often, I find
myself heading to the gate early, just so I can enjoy some
people-based entertainment provided by travelers. People watching at
the airport...it's my favorite!