Star 1: We were playing with the dolls and puppets, well, I was playing with the dolls and puppets and HE was playing somethin' else and-

Star 2: I don't want to play with the dolls and puppets. I was making dinner (dramatic play center).

Star 1: Yeah, he was making dinner, and I showed him, well I wanted to show him that I put the clothes on the baby AND on a puppet, but he wouldn't look, and I asked him again, and he wouldn't look, and then he said my farts fly.

Star 2: I didn't want to look at the doll. I was busy making dinner, and I was almost done.

Me: Did you say something to her when she tried to show you the dolls?

Me: (dying on the inside, amazingly straight-faced on the outside) Honey, is that a nice way to talk to a friend at school? Next time please tell her that you'll look in a little bit, or ask her to show another friend.

Star 1: Yeah, don't tell me that my farts fly! That's not nice.

And then I sent them back to the dramatic play center.

That's right, I GAVE UP.

There was no neat and tidy resolution.

I couldn't embrace the teachable moment because I was too filled with desperation to not let loose with wild peals of laughter.

*****

Do you have any idea how *awesome* this week's parent teacher conferences are going to be?