There is no pleasure in that way of being, or not for you, although it feels like others are doing all.the.things. and rocking life. You struggle. There's suffering and more disappointment than you can bear, some yours and plenty, you fear, belonging to the legions of people you feel like you let down every year. You want to do it all but the weight is just too damned much. It seems as though you'll collapse under the weight of it all but you keep flailing around trying to stop your world from completely falling apart.

You must dig yourself out of this chaos.

You can't wait for the earth to stop spinning so you can have a few months nobody else gets. This is not the kind of problem with one magical solution. Not even close. You keep waiting for that to happen, for everyone and everything to stop needing you for as long as it takes to catch up. It never comes. Frankly, you're lucky about that. I've seen that radical magic work in other people's lives. It's usually devastating.

Instead, consider this: everything in your backlog needs to either get done or it needs to be released.

You can either get the pants hemmed or let them go. You can either commit to the upcoming events filling up your email, inbox, and desk, or you can say no. (You can say, "No, thank you" if you're feeling particularly polite.)

You can either read the newsletters, or you can unsubscribe. If now isn't the time for you to utilize what's being offered, then release them. When the time is right for you to learn about (insert all the things you want to make space for later), you'll be able to get back on that person's mailing list or you'll find someone else who can support you.

Either write that blog post or recycle the piece of paper it is written on. You can trust that if this idea is important enough to be shared, but not important enough to do it now, it will come back to you when the time is right.

Now, to be clear (and reasonable), I'm not suggesting you have to do it or let it all go today. Again, this isn't a quick fix. Today is just the reality check, the invitation to recognize that your decisiveness is desperately needed. What follows is decision after decision, action after action, day after day of you saying yes or no to everything you've had piling up around you for years.

This is about RECLAIMING CHOICE in your life. Decide to either do it or not do it, one or the other, about everything and everyone in your life.

The journey to take back to the truth of who you are will take many moons. Do what you can do today, whether that means action or releasing, and tomorrow something new will feel accessible, then do or release that. In time, you will touch every area of your life. Some of it will scare you but you are woman enough to face all of this. Do you need support? I'm here.

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My name is Christy Diane Farr and I am The Unruly Woman. It is my heart’s mission to help other Unrulies heal their heads, hearts, and homes. I am thrilled you're here! Meet Christy...

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