Helping Words

Chatting to a friend the other night about the year of 2013, we were reflecting not only on our accomplishments but our scars.

Our struggles are not always visible, and often once reaching the end, we don’t want our scars to be either. We’re all trying to run this race which has no finish line, and the last thing we want anyone else to think is that we are not fit for another lap.

I often felt I would be left behind if I told people what was going on at times. Surrounded by high achievers, I wanted to feel I was a worthwhile contribution to the team. Never burden anybody with my worries, negativity, fear or anything else I was unfortunately feeling at the time.

There I was wrong. Friendship or any team isn’t just about success, it’s also about support.

Half way into the conversation he stated something along the lines of “You never told me you saw a psychologist, when I asked you about work you said it was ok”

I thought about this and questioned why I didn’t.I guess I didn’t need an answer to my problems, to feel better, I just needed to be asked.To know someone cared and was concerned.

From there the conversion would often turn to frivolously random topics and inside jokes, but I was laughing, I was smiling and I actually felt better.

I’m definitely not recommending turning blind eye or denial as a means of coping. I sought the help I needed, and I got it. It inspired me to do what I do now.

I’m encouraging everyone to think about the positive impact their words can have not matter what they are, and never underestimate their ability to help another person. Even if you feel you never know the right things to say to someone, a simple hello, hope you’re ok, or lame joke can still be that helping hand.

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Drove my “rig” more than fifty miles to pick up a load of hay yesterday, 24 bales. Two guys, new ones to me, hooked, hefted, tossed and loaded the bales. Takes more than a fair bit of effort!! But what did I have to give them? I’d used up my usual stash of goodies — chocolate-covered macadamia nuts, Belgian Chocolate from Trader Joes . . .

Across the “street” (two-lane paved road in a vast network of pot-holed dirt crossroads) in the middle-of-nowhere high desert location, a new mini-market (they even sell gas!) just opened up. I maneuvered my heavily loaded Jeep-and-horse-trailer rig into the parking area, went in and bought two candy bars — “King Size” Hershey’s, with almonds — grant total: $3.58.

Back to the feed store, rig parked by the road, I walked in the rear entrance to where I heard voices. “Mam, did you forget something?” one said.

“Yes — here!” said I, handing Chris and Ruben each a bar.

Chris looked down at the bar, hugh? Then his face lit up, he looked back at me. Smiled an awesome look of Christmas and wonder, and instinctively opened his arms and gave me a hug!

“It’s the Little Things in Life,” I said, “that make all the difference!” : ~ ))