I'm really really sick of people telling me how much of a bloody bimbo/slut/whore/ass/bitch I am.

TO ALL THESE PEOPLE:

Fuck you all.

Yeah I am a bimbo, SO? Big fat hairy deal. You dun like it, dun read my blog. No one is holding a knife near ur throat. Perhaps u guys shld reflect a little about how bo liao u are, leaving comments just to tell me "you are disgusting, arrogent blah blah" when obviously u know that I dun give a shit about what u think anyway.

Why am I responding if I dun care? Well, the comments are an eyesore.

I'm totally sick of all these childish people, and you guys are abusing my comments system.

My blog was never meant for u all, and if u only have bad things to say, keep it to urself coz no one else is interested. My blog belongs to me, and I have every right to write anything I want, no matter how "bimbo" or arrogent it is.

My blog is, however, welcome to anyone who wants to read it coz they find it interesting or entertaining.

For the last time I say this: NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO READ MY BLOG, SO IF U DUN LIKE IT, DUN READ IT. If u feel just like reading something to make urself irritated, there must be something wrong with you. So what if I sound like a bimbo? So what if I am too full of myself? It is none of your business since u do not know me at all.

In my opinion, you all are just jealous. I dun care if u are not jealous. I am just saying it to accuse u anyway. If my blog is such a bad thing, explain the 400 or so readers a day.

Can u write and let so many people want to read what u write?

Is 'bimbotic' writing going to earn me the readers, or are u, the anti-xiaxue person, going to argue that the 400 or so people are all deluded when they read my blog frequently? Are u saying that the rest read it to feel irritated and disgusted, like urself? I think not.

Are the 90% of people giving me praise all wrong about what they think and the 10% correct? I think not too. Unfortunately, these 10% of people are obnoxious and they want to complain. Well, people tend to be more stingy with compliments than praises. The 10% of people are typically like this:

1) Cynical
2) Losers themselves
3) Bitter
4) Needs an outlet for frustration as nobody wants to listen to them in real life
5) Plain jealous
6) Wants to be special. They will dislike everything that alot of people like.

Well. Truth is that lots more people LIKE my blog than DISLIKE it. For every bad comment that u write, I have 10 good comments to counter it. More than enough to prove u are wrong.

For every single time u insult me, 10 people are insulting u behind ur back. They may not be telling u of course, simply because they can't be bothered with u enough to write it down, and also because they are much more civilised people. But trust me, they are doing that.

Well, I had enough of trash like that.

For the next week or so, I shall blog with a different address. Hopefully, this action will aid me in getting rid of the unwanted trash reading my blog.

It is really getting too publisized. Tell a person "Hey, this is quite an interesting blog u know, this girl has a lot of readers" and the person will possibly reply, "NO BIG DEAL WHAT!", after reading.

And then the person will read the comments my readers give and feel pissed that everyone is making a big fuss out of a mediocre website. The truth is, my blog is not as bad as u think it is. It is, afterall, just a mediocre website. And you shld do what u do when u see a mediocure website. Which is to close the page, and continue surfing other websites.

No need to get so angry over me, who is someone who is not in ur life at all.

Oh yeah back to the address. Everyone who wants to continue reading my blog in peace, please send me an email to yycheng84@yahoo.com.sg requesting the new site address. Very sick of these stupid people. Put ur RE as: "Request for site address", and I will definitely reply alright?

I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused to my usual readers. Its not my fault, but those stupid people's. Please curse them.

And oh yeah. You anti-xiaxue bastards dun even think of acting smart and searching yahoo for the address. I will NOT include the word Xiaxue in it.

Good riddence to the assholes.

-See the rest of u all in 2 weeks or so, if u can't be bothered to send me an email-

Today my manager gave me a chance at serving the VIP table, but it was not in the midst of a busy wedding dinner. Instead, it was a twelve person lunch where there was this cute (as in looks old, and pruny) minster called I.D. Swami (Damn cute ah the name) with eleven other boring old men who talked about Singapore's politics. Not anything interesting, mind you. Just talking about stuff a commoner like me wun understand.

Anyway, I would like to proclaim that lotsa Ritz Carlton's stuff dun like me. I certainly did not delibrately offend them in any way but I guess, ah well... At least the Chinese staff dun like me. The Malays seem to be okie with me.

Must be something wrong with me, recently alot of this kinda "I hate Wendy" things pop up... Am I really that bad?

From today onwards, I shall try to smile and laugh more, talk less, and talk bad about people less. That can't go wrong, can it? Also I shall stop my sexual jokes coz lotsa girls seem to take offence, wtf. Oh yeah. WTF reminds me. No more vulgar language too as some people take offence as well. Yikes, can't please the world.

I worked on Friday, Saturday and today, and the last two days weren't that bad. On Friday PY told me that some people dun like me (they actually stupidly thought PY was on their side and gossiped about me with her there. How atrocious. I have been her friend for 7 years and what makes them think they can bowl her over within a month?!).

On Friday they really treated me quite badly. As in, conversations stopped short when I arrive etc. PY overheard this guy (CK, who is the VIP server), say that he would make things difficult for me on Sunday when I work. He proclaimed that he would show me that being the VIP server is not an easy thing and he is relatively sure I cannot make the cut.

Slap his bloody face. I have been the VIP server at other hotels, what makes him think I cannot do stupid Ritz? On the other hand, he is SUPER nice to XF. Bloody hell.

It is the work of this terrific bitch that everyone loathes me. She happens to be a coursemate of mine, and although I have never even as much as breathed a word to her in school, she seems to have taken this immerse dislike to me and begin to talk bad about me to all the Ritz staff. Can't help it that they believed her though, she worked much longer than me.

On Sat people seemed to have come to their senses. They actually asked me out to supper.

On Sunday, it was pretty obvious at first that CK was trying to make things difficult for me.

He refused to answer me when I asked him where things were kept.

I acted all pure shu nu.

I asked in 0.0025 decibels and waited patiently with big eyes for him to give his reply. You see, nobody bullies shu nus except me. He had no choice but to give in and answer me finally.

I acted as if I dun know anything and as if he is a total expert in banqueting (actually I really dunno alot of stuff, afterall I am quite new to the hotel). Asked him questions and replied, "Oh, yeah hor... Why I never think of it ah..." to his answers.

Wonderful.

Soon he begin to like to attention and "adoration" and became quite nice to me afterall. And thats an achievement; he rarely ever smiles at everyone.

I guess it really pays to be humble and stupid.

Oh yes I know that this entry is stupid and boring but it is just here to remind myself to be less cocky in future.

P/s: No one is allowed to say anything that holds the meaning of "I told you so", or along the lines of "You shld have realised this long ago, arrogent bitch!". Yes I know already. All these kinda msgs will be deleted with NO MERCY!

I can't really remember what she sold, but I remembered that she has this comfy couch where the 3 of us were sitting down on. I walked around and saw that the Indian lady sold this authentic Gucci HP strap.

I fell in love with it immediately. To my pleasant surprise, it only costs $20! I grabbed it and took it to show to June and Shuyin who were sitted on the couch.

June took the hp strap and fingered it lovingly. Not surprisingly, she wanted it too.

Before I told her to get her own, Shuyin's uncle and auntie came along.

The pair sat down beside us, and the Uncle asked June what she was holding. June showed it to him, and he took a look.

"You like it?", he asked June.

June nodded vigoriously. "But I dun have money to buy," she said mellowly.

The Uncle nodded. He got the hint alright. He stood up, and before I could say anything, bought the hp strap for June.

I tried to stop him, I did! But he didn't care! He only wanted to buy it for June, not for me!

My tears fell with the jealousy I felt when obviously Shuyin's uncle should have treated me fairly and bought the Gucci strap for me too. But yet, out of politeness, there was no way I could have told him that. I cried, and cried, and cried. I wanted the hp strap so much! It was me who found it first, not June!

But despite my very intense crying, Shuyin and June did not give a shit but continued to smile and chat with the uncle and auntie.

No one cared about me crying. They think that I am crying for nothing, that my tears do not symbolize my trauma but just there for showing people.

Between shortened breaths, I told June that the hp strap is mine, and she should give it back to me.

June looked at me, and said plainly, "No."

I asked the uncle to buy the strap for me too. He said "No", for he thought I was a spoilt brat for wanting what others wanted. He said that it was June who found the strap first, so it is hers and not mine.

June and Shuyin did not correct him with the facts abut instead, behind his back, gave me a big smirk.

With that, June turned her heel and walked away with Shuyin and the Uncle and Auntie, leaving me crying all by myself in the shop.

I told myself I had to be strong, afterall it was just a hp strap costing 20 bucks, and I can easily buy another myself! With that I looked around the shop, trying to find it.

I searched and searched fanatically, but with no avail. There was simply no same model there. The rest of the Gucci straps were ugly and bulky; totally different from the one I fell in love with.

I cried even more. And I discovered what was worse. I realised that the rest of the models, all costed $80 plus, so the one I chose must have been pasted with a wrong price tag. I can't even buy an uglier model for the good price now! And there is no uncle to kindly pay for me!

Out of desperation, I tried to search for the Indian shopowner. She must have new stock coming in! She must help me! Even if I buy the hp strap for $80, at least I still got what I wanted.

She wasn't in the shop, so I looked out of the balcony. The shop is on the second level. To my surprise, the Indian lady was standing at the grass patch below the balcony. On the same grass patch were lotsa kids and other Indian people walking around, chatting happily.

I shouted and asked her if she had new stock coming in. She said no.

For goodness knows what reason, the Indian started to take this "lift" up to the balcony. The "lift" was just a simple metal affair where the Indian lady had to actually pull herself up.

She pulled and pulled while I kept crying about the loss of my hp strap and June's rude betrayal of friendship.

And then the lady fell.

The grass patch was a hilltop. She rolled down.

She fell and seem to have died. But she stirred a little. The people in the grass patch all dropped dead in their activities. They rushed to her, and some shouted out to me that it must have been me who cursed her and caused her misfortune, just because I could not get the thing I wanted. Selfish girl, they silently shouted, as a totally different type of tears fell down my cheeks.

I am innocent, it wasn't me!!! The phrase sounded so loud in my head, but yet, I am unable to say it out to the people, coz I was crying too hard.

The Indian lady was fine and she got up and started to point fingers at me.

That unreasonable bitch, I thought.

With the end of my evil thought, she fell again. She fell into a hard cement drain this time, and obviously broke a leg. The Indian people all crowded around her even more, all splattered with her blood.

It wasn't me!!! I screamed and screamed, but no one was listening. Everyone was staring at me as if I am a monster.

The children all took on vicious grins. They started to climb up the balcony to get me. I started to panic.

The Indian lady tried to get up from the drain. No one was helping her; they were too scared of me.

I was scared of myself.

The Indian lady fell again, and this time, lie there lifeless. She could not move again.

The children were all surrounding me by now....

I woke up, and discovered that my eyes are really swollen. Perhaps yesterday's activities were affecting my unconscious mind, except that June wasnt the one making me so sad. My best friend did not care anymore; but little did she know that that was the simple reason I cried.

I dun mind losing a thousand boyfriends, but I would never want to lose her friendship.

So chickens shld be genetically modified to look like this, despite your protests:

No breast no butt and triple drumsticks.

Ain't that great?

After a while we decided the head is pretty much useless as well.

Hai, if only I am god. I would make chickens look like this. This will save the human race alot of trouble, afterall stupid animals like chickens are born to be eaten. Dun say I am cruel, you vegetarians. Even if we don't eat the chickens the tigers/lions/platypus will. It is no one's but the chicken's whole fault that it is so nice to eat.

Well, I have no idea why scientists are wasting time making square watermelons when there are so much other things to modify.

4) Pandas with both sex organs so that when they masterbate they get pregnant and we dun need to worry so much about whether they get extinct.

5) Cockroachs into a bright pink/electric blue so that the world would be a much quieter place without girls screaming. On the other hand, we will get more of the typical "So cute!" (which is bad), but cockroaches will then be dried and sold as ornaments so in general the economy will get better, and we will have less cockroaches.

6) Humans shld have a tail. I have no idea what for, but I am just jealous animals have it and I dun. I can use it to whack people.

7) Humans to have pointy ears like elves. I like!

Okie I shall stop here coz the list is quite endless.

Anyway, I was just thinking about some of the bimbo events that happened in school last time.

There is this group of vain girls in my course, and they always sit below us (Me June Clara Shuyin) in the lecture hall so we can see clearly what is going on with them.

Once, I was about to fall asleep when Girl A started to scratch the behind of her ears. I was looking dreamily at the said ear when Girl B, sitting beside Girl A, started to look at Girl A too. Girl B saw that A's ears were very red from the scratching. B got rather dramatically worried about the redness.

Actually it did look really red.

Girl B kept saying the ear is very very red. A asked for B to show her.

B took out a mirror.

And she intelligently held up the mirror behind A's ear to show her, something like this:

Sorry if the picture is ugly/unclear, coz I had no choice but to draw it

Obviously A can't see a single thing as the mirror was held behind her ear.

Girl B said, "Woah, see, very red hor?"

Girl A exclaimed, "Where is the mirror?!"

Girl B realised that she had done something really dumb so she started to erupt into laughter. Girl A laughed too, and Girl C and D saw what happened and laughed as well.

Beside me, June was sleeping and Shuyin and Clara were distracted, so they missed out the good show. I almost burst 3 ribs from stopping myself from howling in laughter.

If you thought that was stupid, you are wrong. During the very start of Poly there was a lot of activities for us to sign up etc. Pasted outside this classroom was a notice:

make-up class, 16/7/2001 4:30pm

I actually told June that I feel like going to the make up class so that I can improve my make up skills. Ah well...

Well, my pic is not currently up here... (Do vote for me, please? I need it!)

Actually I send the pic in coz I was thinking it would be nice to be a VJ for a while, afterall I might get to host with UTT! June said that MTV will partner us up coz we are both short. Great.

Some people left bad comments and ratings. Hey, its like damn funny isn't it, that some people obviously dun have a sense of humour? The description was meant to be funny, and not serious. Ah well... Humans...

Let me counter some of the comments.

nuit blanche Rating : 1/5
Humility is a virtue!!

Well darling, virtues dun really get u to become an MTV VJ. So I am supposed to write my description something like: Hi, my name is Wendy. I pretty much suck big time. I get stage frights and I stagger a little. Sometimes I think I look damn hideous. I know I am not worthy for being a VJ, but I just would like to try. Can u guys give me a chance?

Would u give such a person a chance? Humility my foot. I say Confidence is beauty, don't you?

And anyway please take note that in the whole description I WAS KIDDING. If u dun understand a joke, then u possibly watch CNN instead of MTV, so u wun see me on TV when I become a VJ. Thats good, for both u and me, you think?

fLyHigH Rating : 1/5
U look Like JapaNese...nice but too arrogant by the way you write your profile.Oh, how fair is this person? "Nice, but hey, since I realise I can judge her by a few words, I give her a 1. This is justified coz she is "arrogant". She may look damn beautiful and she may be funny and perfect for being a VJ, but I refuse to give her a chance coz she is too cocky according to myself, who cannot understand a joke when I see one." Wonderful. Love serious people.

Fair enough. But darling I am not obnoxious. Most of the time, I was JUST KIDDING. You have got to understand that, baby. Oh well okie okie I am obnoxious.

So?

justpushplay Rating : 1/5
highly overrated

LOL... We have an amoeba here, everybody. This must be going through that single-cell brain when he commented: "Oh dammit! She is pretty! Actually not very pretty but she looks slightly better than some contestants. Well, I think she deserves a 3. But no! I shall not give her a 3! I shall not be fair! Coz everyone else gave her a 5 except some, I shall give her a 1. She does not deserve a 1 actually, but hey, I'm just giving my rating coz I am damn influenced by other people's rating of her.

Not to mention that my friend is another contestant of course."

Well. I hope u die.

B00M Rating : 2/5
Well I'm deluded, your bad. Ure too full of urself. Perhaps it has to do with ur age.

U admitted that u are deluded. What else can I say?

Hey hey whats the age discrimination here? Oh, I think you must be the Eddie Goh contestant, issit? Well news for you. We youngsters discriminate against the old too. We hate people with wrinkles all over. Have fun with your viagra, darling.

Kai Rating : 1/5
No one likes a cocky girl.

It depends on what u mean by "cocky". If u meant girls with a cock, well I guess you are wrong, coz quite alot of people like transvertites (how to spell?)

Who u saying is cocky? *looks around* Oh, ME? YOU MEAN ME? I'm not cocky nia, I am just confident. I know some people who cannot accept that, especially guys who likes girls that keep quiet and nod at every sentence they say, no?

If u are one of those shu nu lovers, well you shld smack yourself awake with a piece of fois gras. Nothing good about diminutive women at all, except for washing clothes and etc stuff u guys bully girls into doing.

Oh yeah your sentence is wrong coz
1) I am not cocky
2) and to prove that, lotsa people like me. =)

fuzzy Rating : 1/5
don't seems to be nice at all..

It depends on your definition of nice, darling. I can be real nice you know. Now it would be nice of you if u would stop judging my niceness like that and sign up with ur second email and give me 5 stars, which I deserve.

Oh yeah, yesterday someone write a long long comment about how I suck. Although I have lotsa stuff to blog about, I shall still counter him painfully, point by point. Once again I stress to everybody who dislikes me.

1) You are plain stupid to try to insult me on my blog coz this is afterall, MY blog and I can choose to erase, or even edit every single sentence u say. For example you say this:

Xiaxue you suck big time. You are not pretty at all, and not to mention fat. You are damn arrogant and think you are the best, don't you? Well, for your info, your fans who worship you are not in the right frame of mind.

Wonderful. I had no idea there was a hidden message in the paragraph at all.

2) There is no way you can argue urself after I counter what u said. This is because nobody is interested in what u have to say anyway, and also because even if they are, I will delete it. I will delete your arguements not because I am not good enough to argue with u again, but bacause it will make you infinitely pissed and also because I am not interested in what u have to say as well coz I think crap shld only be given one chance.

And then again there is the usual sentence my readers will say. If you dun like my blog, dun read it! If u really wanna give me a piece of your mind, one comment will do. So if u come back to argue what I countered, you are proving that you actually love my blog and just want some attention from me. Well, little begger, I gave u some, so leave.

3) My warning to you is that u will just realise that I am fabulous afterall, after u get over the initial trauma of seeing my "cockiness", because as such is my sense of humour. U dun wanna be seen to take back your words afterall.

OKIE here is the comment, in bold: (thanks Jo for already countering it so beautifully.)

First and foremost, i am not surprised, u look like a fat ah lian, the type i will not give a second glance on the streets. what makes u feel so proud to be working as a tiger girl?

Why would you be surprised? As in what, u expected to see a fat ah lian and u saw one? How can u be surprised about my looks when it is plastered everywhere so u definitely saw my pic before reading my words? Weirdo.

Me proud to be a Tiger girl? Well, first find proof that I said I am proud to be one. Hey look here, loving my part time (I stress on the part time) job doesnt mean I am proud of it, dumdum. It is just a normal job, which even hired Grouchy Gwenne. Hey, who wants to be on par with her, looks wise?

Oh yeah lets try to see YOU being a Tiger Boy my dear, since u claim it is an easy job to get. LOL... The imagery! Nerd in tiger dress! LOL...

u are but a cheap ah lian looking for some easy money. coming from poly doesn't make u any better either, read my lips: i am an A'level student with a place in the university and a bright future waiting for me. how about u? when will your first million from cheap jobs come in?

You are indeed very weird. U come to my blog to talk about urself? For goodness sake this is MY blog, and my readers do not give a shit about whether u are an A level student or not. So, big fuck if u are going into uni? All of my friends are, no big deal. Oh yeah I forgot I dun give a shit about you.

I'm a cheap ah lian looking for some easy money huh. Yeah okie I am. SO? And yes I chose poly. That doesnt make you superior my dear. I could have got into JC too you know. But seriously, why shld I compare myself to such an idiot? Haha...

And my first million? Well somewhere in the archives is a detailed entry on how I will earn my first million. Go read it, and be so impressed.

i think u are fucking racist as well, what makes u think u are any better than these footballers?

Did I say I am better than them? Oh yeah I did. Whats better about me ah... Hmmm... Let me think a little. Maybe brains? And yeah, as I said those footballers are a mixture of Indian, Malay and Chinese, so who am I racist against, ALL of them?

u all work for fucking Tiger, i dun remember seeing it on Fortune 500's top 50 companies.

1) The footballers dun work for Tiger Beer my dear. Just because Tiger Beer sponsors the game, it doesnt mean the footballers are WORKING for Tiger Beer.

Wake up! have u got no sense of ambition? are u going to rot like all the other ah lians working in the coffeeshops?(contrary to popular belief, not only aunties work at coffeeshops, lots of ah lians do that too)

Erm, its time for YOU to wake up? Coz this is only a PART TIME JOB, my dear. I'm not gonna be working for Tiger Beer all my life! You sound mad, you know, so concerned over whether I have an ambition when you dun know me at all.

Oh yeah I think the "ah lians", whose food you have been eating (we know u eat at coffee shops coz u are so sure about Tiger girls working there), are possibly richer than you would be in future.

Why, you ask. Well, its simple. The streets are full of graduates. But how many people can cook a nice plate of chicken rice?

Say you took a course in Accounting. Its okie if the world hires an accountant less, but hey, everybody needs to eat! The ah lian would inherit her dad's store and earn way more than you, measly graduate! Till then, you better pray that she is so filthy rich she needs an accountant, so u would get a job.

anyway, i know plenty of malay guys who are way smarter than u, at least they know where they stand and move aside when successful people like me come along.

OMG this is so funny. And he said I am racist. I am not even gonna start one this one, just laugh right now.

Oh yeah once again, you come to my blog to talk about urself. I'm sorry darling, but this is not fasttalk hotline, not a place for you to promote urself, coz NOBODY CARES about u...!

u? u can only act big and have nothing to show for it. u got 251 for your PSLE and just managed to scrape thru to RV, afterwhich u go to Poly, what a disgrace. what about me?

I got act big meh? U then act big, and u have even less to show for it.

I got 269 for my PSLE, lets see you try to beat that.

Go Poly very disgraceful meh? I chose to study something which will be USEFUL in my life, and not stuff like F maths which I wastes my brain cells for useless information. I'm still going to uni after poly, and that is nothing to be ashamed of, you asshole.

i followed the Singaporean dream, i went to JC and will now go to the university, in ten years time, u will be nothing but a cheap whore, maybe a SPG even.

LOL... Loser... The Singapore dream can only work for an immigrant country my dear (PY please explain in comments), where everybody starts fair and fresh. You are too dumb to realise that, and followed what our government told you to do. With MNCs monopolising almost every business market, u can only work for others in future. How far can you go?

Well lets, for a split second, imagine that I am what u said I am, which I am not.

Whore? Well, If I am one I would be earning money from desperados like you who are too disgusting to have sex and are very deprived. At least I am earning YOUR MONEY. Can u earn mine? No, I dun think so.

SPG? Well okie... You will be working under my Ang Moh husband in future, and I will order my cute little Eurasian kid to bite u, and there is nothing u can do about it. LOL...

In conclustion, a whore and a SPG is better off than you.

How about me?(Firstly I would like to stress that no one cares about how about you, but never mind, please continue) i will be flying the corporate flag, laughing at u losers.

LOL so I am right, your ambition is to work for others. Who's the loser?

anyway, i hate ah lians,(once again no one cares who you hate.) the only people who like them are ah bengs.

So?

so dun u go round calling people small ah lians, look at the fucking mirror and what do u see? an obese ah lian.

SMALL AH LIANS?? LOL... A level student using a direct translation from Chinese? LOL... Tsk tsk

Who is the mirror fucking?

I dun see the obese ah lian in my fucking mirror leh, did you see it in your fucking mirror instead? hmmm... Obese sia. Talk about exaggeration. Lets see you try to fit into my jeans (levis 25) and we will see if u dun tear the seams. Dun gimme the "you are a girl of course your waist is thinner" shit. Since I am OBESE a normal guy shld be my size, no?

LOL 42 kg obese. I had enough of this "FAT" insult my dear, it is stale and not working anymore. Dun u have something better to say? U sound so fucking stupid coz no one else would agree that I am obese. I may be a little plump, yes, but not obese, asshole.

i'll tell u what,(what? Oh wait I am not interested to hear.) u are the kind of girl that no decent guy will every consider for a spouse, u will end up a spinster with no possible chance of a future of any significance.

LOL I wonder what makes him so sure. Well, I sure there are people out there who would like to marry my kinda girl.

No future of any signifcance? Well, I'm sorry I have to sound a little proud here, but at the tender age of 19, I am already a successful writer (please read the guestbook) and you? You are still NOTHING. I wonder who will end up the loser, really.

Go get a diet, u look horrifically fat, i dun remember knowing any girls who are more fat than u, but then, i would never associate myself with people even remotely like u.

LOL... U have the memory of Dory? Or have you forgotten about ur mum? Ask her if she weighs more than 42 kg. If ur mum weighs less than that, please ask your school teacher. Not knowing anyone fatter (not more fat, take note) than me is ridiculous, unless you live in Africa.

And lastly, the second part of your sentence is irrelevant with the first part, if u noticed, amoeba-brain.

Today I had a very good hair day! I shall post up a big big picture so that I will irritate people who think I am ugly.

Yup! June said I look like a porn star. I took it as a compliment.

I did something silly. I went to cut away the nice curls.

U see, I met up wth PY today, and we walked pass Kimage, and we both decided to get a trim. It is done by students ($10.40 for long hair) at Funan. I got my hair done by this really cute Malaysian guy, so I dun really care about the hair. Hmmm.. I was enjoying every second of the neck massage he did... But no, I didn't manage to get a shot of him... A bit paiseh to ask like that lar...

So while I was looking into the mirror at him instead of at the scissors, I think he cut it too short.

The back is supposed to be in a V shape!

Ah well... The blown curls doesnt look very nice as well... But it makes me look like those taitais who blow their hair everyday at salons.

Oh man.. I'm too tired to continue blogging... Tml still got school at 9! I will write about today's and yesterday's and tml's happenings tml then. Got lotsa rubbish I wanna blog.

Nites everyone, and once again, please remember to vote for me? Please?

Firstly, yesterday I worked for Tiger Beer again after a break of 1 year, and it is really the best job in the world! All we had to do yesterday was to pour beer for a relatively decent pub's guests as it was the pub's first day of opening and only the boss' friends were invited.

We (me and another Tiger girl) arrived late at 6:40 (supposed to be 6pm, but the manager is not there and nobody cares) and we were allowed to eat dinner till 7pm. We walked around and poured beer and the owner of the pub even asked us if we wanted to sing KTV. Later on, at 9 pm, we were asked to help ourselves to the buffet line, and then our manager came. He walked into the room where we were eating. I clammed up, seeing that he caught us skiving.

He smiled and asked us if the chicken is nice.

And he pulled a chair and joined us. And there we sat for the next 40 minutes talking rubbish, after which the other girl, Tess, and I were allowed to leave the place $60 richer.

Just when we were gleefully walking out with our bags, the owner of the newly opened pub stopped us. He opened his wallet, and said, "Come, uncle give u tips, thanks for helping me out today!"

So we walked out $70 richer.

Haiz, what a happy day.

Aha, but there's a catch! There always is, isn't it?

I was damn pissed by this group of guests. According to Tess, there were a bunch of footballers, so natually it was a mix of Malay, Indian and Chinese guys, less of the latter.

This is the conversation that happened:

Indian guy: Hi!

Me: Eh, hello.

Indian guy: U not a local right?

Me: I am a Singaporean.

Indian guy: Dun bluff!

Me: Huh? Siao I bluff u for what? So which country do I look like I am from? *Gives an irritated frown*

Indian guy: No no I not saying you look like u from China... no la...

Me: Yeah I look like a Malaysian issit?

Indian guy: Haha... So u working at coffee shops normally issit? I only see u girls in coffee shops.

-At this precise moment I felt like sticking something huge, hot and with thorns into his ass. The ideal item would be a barbacued porcupine. In fact, I wanted so much to put the porcupine into his ass that I tried looking around for one, but with no avail. I think they should put porcupines at newly opened pubs in case stupid men start to insult the waitresses.-

Me: Excuse me? One, this is not a full time job. Two, only aunties work at coffee shops, I'm sure u haven been to enough pubs or hotel lounges to see us around, but it doesn't mean we dun exist at those places.

Indian: Oh, not full time job? So u got another job?

Me: No, I'm currently studying.

Indian guy: Oh, ITE or Poly?

At this precise moment I turned my back ready to not answer his question and leave. I cannot believe my eyes!

There, scurrying in one hidden corner of the pub behind a potted plant was a black creature trying to move unnoticed. It shook a little and left a trail of black sharp needles on the floor. Suddenly, a dozen goblins hopped out of the potted plant and captured the terrified, and not to mention shocked, hedgehog. A barbecue pit appeared out of nowhere and they roasted the hedgehog will it was white hot and stuffed it into the Indian guy's ass. He yapped and yapped in pain, strangely shouting out the words: "Sorry.. I... Pain!..I... not... Oww!..look...down...people...anymore!

No, that didn't happen. It was just a mirage, sadly.

As I returned to the normal world, I realised he was still talking to me.

"Poly ah, so smart ah, cannot believe it."

-Someone hand me a chainsaw please-

"What course?"

Breathing hard, "Media and communications."

"What is that?"

"Listen. I got to go serve our customers."

WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT GUY! I think I will bring my O level cert everywhere I go, and I will use it to SLAP HIS BLOODY FACE. POLY too SMART for me huh? I CAN GO INTO JC OKIE! Fucked up idiot. Why did he not ask me "JC, uni, poly or ITE?". If I went into JC, I will use my ankle sock to stuff up his hairy nostril. But I chose Poly.

And u think this fella is bad. Birds of the same feathers flock together, so lets hear about his friend.

Indian guy: Hey Wendy Wendy! My friend wants to talk to u!

Malay guy: So Wendy, I heard from him u from Poly.

Indian guy: Yeah Wendy he dun believe u are from Poly!

Me: What.

Malay guy: You from Poly meh? *Gave me a disbelieving look* I also from SP last time. Let me test you, you what faculty.

(Apparently the fucked up guy was not from SP as SP does not have faculties but different "schools", ie, School of Business, which I am in.)

I thought:What is the big fuck about SP? Who would lie to say they are in a Poly, asshole? Only idiots like you think it is glamourous to be in poly. Hey look, here my O levels cert and it reads 11 points. Can u count? It means I can go into JC easily, asshole!I said: What do u mean what faculty. There are no faculties in SP, duh.

Malay guy: Oh, so you what course?

I thought:You so fucking dumb, I tell u u also dunno.I said: Media and comm.

Malay guy: What is that?

I thought: Dah, I knew it.I said: A course.

Malay guy: U also from SP ah, so next time when u graduate u can join the alumni and see me there!

I thought:Nobody is interested to see your fucked up face and I dun talk to amoeba-brains, so speak to my hand.I said: I am not interested to join SP's alumni.

Malay guy: Why not, you should be very glad that SP accepted you and gave u a good education.

With this I turned my heel and left him talking to himself.

FUCKING HELL! I got so pissed that I almost smoked (as in, on flames) right there, but I can't scold him, as my job was far too valuable to risk losing.

What is the big fuck about Poly? They speak as if it is some Mensa organisation. Either that or I look extremely retarded, so it is amazing that I can get into Poly.

I got so pissed, that I spend 15 minutes thinking how I would use my old RV school uniform and throw it at his face.

"Nah," I would say. "Here is my old school uniform. PSLE grades of 251 and above will be accepted into the school, can your daughter fit into the uniform since u look like u can hardly afford a new one for her? Or did she get your genes and is a half retard? Oh wait, my secondary school is the Fifth in ranking in Singapore this year, and they dun accept Malays, sorry! Oh wait a minute. I am not sorry."

Mean huh? But I really had enough of such retards.

People nowadays keep giving me that raised eyebrows look whenever I say I am in Poly. WTF! Do I really look like a school drop out? And whats worse is that it is not as if my results barely fulfilled Sp's criteria and I heng heng got in after struggling with my pudding brains. It is irritating the shit outta me.

People gimme the raised eyebrows look when I say I am in Poly, and they give XF and PY the "I am so impressed with you!" look when XF and PY say they are going to uni. Hey, whats the discrimination here! I am going into Uni soon too, and I will wipe the smirk off those people's faces.

*****

Enough about angry events. Anyway, today June, Clara and I went to shop around at Orchard, when I suddenly received a phone called from eLJay (one blog reader) saying that he saw me. LOLz... It is beginning to scare me! I think I shall wear sunglasses out next time.

While June and I were walking around, a very normal and typical thing happened.

You see, I'm a kpo person. Actually, I'm not kpo. I'm just very curious. So usually when June and I walk along the Orchard underpass stretch, some people will suddenly approach June and start yakking.

Being my curious self, I will bend over to listen too, rather irritated coz I'm the kinda person who is talking most of the time while June makes little grunting noises of agreement, and these stupid people usually interrupt me talking.

Not only do they interrupt me, they dun know that they are causing grave harm. This is cause I tend to forget what I was saying immediately and June will have the mission of remembering what I just said, which she will fail to do, and I will be very miserable coz I forgot what I wanted to say.

Now the interrupting people I am talking about are very rude. Even after I bend over to listen, they refuse to acknowledge my presence and start to speak to BOTH June and I. Thats the correct way mah hor? BUT NO! They choose to focus their beady desperate eyes on June and only speak to her, making me feel extremely embarrassed to try to listen to someone who is not interested to talk to me.

I tried to shout back to the interrupting people after we walk a few steps "Actually you heng, she is a transversite!", but I suppose June wun find it funny so I didn't do it.

But anyway, I forgot what I wanted to say.

Oh, that I am very irritated by these people. Some modelling agency called BMT (Obviously it is not this name but it is something like that) sends millions (and I mean like millions) of its "talent scouts" on Orchard Road to interrupt u when u are talking and make you forget what u wanna say and ask you to be a freaking model.

Whats the use of being a freaking model when you forgot what u wanted to say? I mean, obviously the latter is much more important.

Apparently this company is a big scam as they ask every Tom and hairy dick to be a model. Then Tom and Hairy Dick would have to take a portfolio first before being a model, and that will cost $4,000, thank you.

Or something like that. Personally, when I was walking alone I got approached, in a single day within a single stretch of road, THREE TIMES by BMT Models. How many times do they wanna ask, aiyoh! For goodness sake if they wanna send so many people to do the scouting, please invest a little and buy a inkpad and stamp.

Stamp on my forehead "ASKED AND REFUSED" in red ink. I dun mind looking silly. Just stop asking me to be your fucked up model. Fortunately, when I am with June people tend to look at her eyes when they speak, and obviously looking at that level they cannot see me at all. Good.

They dun even wanna make me start on What-is-it-about-Height-anyway-Theory. Thank goodness they dun bother me.
But for talking to June and interrupting me, they shld have some punishments.

I told June gravely today that I will give every multiple of five of such people who approach her a tight slap. Well maybe not a slap.

EG:

Me: Yadda yadda I am just talking as usual, my words dun mean much but whatever, you have to listen anyway. The weather is so terrific tod..

June: Grunt grunt

Me: Yeah lor she is such a bitch right I mean obviously she shouldn't p-

BMT scout: Oh, miss you are really very pretty, you totally stand out from the crowd.

While June blushes I take out my Palmtop to add a tick to the 85th interrupter and realise, duh, that she is the 85th.

BMT scout: Yadda usual crap.

June: No sorry, I am not interested.

Me: What was I saying?

June: I forgot.

Me: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCCCCCCK IT NOT AGAIN!

Me to BMT person: Oei you!

BMT scout: Yes?

Me: *takes out my 8910 and show her*

BMT scout: Erm, nice phone, so?

Me: Do u know that it is made out of titanium?

BMT scout: So?

Me: SOya bean. So it is hard. And do you know that you are the 85th to ask my friend over there to be a freaking model, from your company? I vowed to hit every multiple of 5. Now tell you colleagues not to bother her EVER again!

*Whacks the BMT scout hard in the forehead with the 8910. She faints and everyone looks at me in horror. I shout: She is a BMT scout! Everyone breathes in relief and comes over to shake my hand and pat me on the shoulder for getting rid of social pests. On the other side of the road another BMT scout gets lynched and everyone cheers*

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Holy shit! Now what do I do? I think I shall set up another imagestation account and do the same time till they manage to find out.

Thats right! Today I went to a place u possibly would not be able to go into for the rest of your life. Unless u work for the President of course. Thats the ISTANA!

So exciting right, Ritz Carlton had an Outdoor catering event at the above mentioned location and I begged and begged my manager to let me go there and he agreed! Actually it is not as beautiful as I thought it would be, but heck it, it is grand enough. Crystal chandeliers (did I spell this correct?) everywhere with white lights and high high ceilings. Exactly like what they show u in the movies.

U see, I love u guys. So I happily brought my camera into the Istana with me, hoping to possibly take a photo with Nathan and get his autograph or something, and show u all. Thoughtful ain't I? Nah, the security guard didn't think so. I hardly thinks he reads my blog.

We had to pass some metal detector so he asked me to take out every metal item and show him. I took out two hp pouchs and an 8310. He looked shocked and asked, "Woah, u got 3 phones ah! What is inside this two?"

I replied that I got two phones and one is a camera.

He frowned very hard and said that photo taking is not allowed in the Istana.

I told him that I wun take photos.

"Then u take camera here for what?"

Very good question. Got me stuck for a second.

"Oh, coz I dun have a locker at Ritz and I'm scared that people might steal my camera." I smiled sweetly. "I promise I wun take any pictures!"

He frowned again. "Oh okie okie lar. But dun take photo, or we will confiscate it."

$430 to be confiscated? No way! So no photos of humans except snapshots of boring buildings.

I walked through the metal detector again and it sounded. "Any metal objects on you?", the guard asked.

I showed him my belly ring. He looked like he thought it is very painful.

He thought mine was painful. Next in line was my Malay colleague with two lip piercings and a tongue piercing.

*****

This is a picture of the corridor of the ballroom. Actually, it is a badly taken photo coz it doesn't show anything particularly interesting and it is blur. So why I am a posting the picture?

BECAUSE IT IS ARTISTIC! It looks totally like one of those photo self-proclaimed photographers would claim as "an award winning artistic abstract photo". Hor hor u agree with me??!! I hate these self-proclaimed photographers. They keep taking bo liao blurry badly taken photos portraying nothing in particular and claim it looks damn nice.

I just think they waste my time. Usually, these kinda photos are displayed at the Esplanade or something with names like "Sunshine down my life" when the photo portrays an empty road with a ray of sunlight on it. Ahhhhh...Artistically enlightening, u say. Bullshit! I shall call my this bad photo "Iridescence across corridors" and thus give myself a convenience excuse for taking a badly taken photo.

Eg u say: "oei ur this photo is not interesting and blur leh!"

"It is artistic okie! U dunno one lar!"

"Where got artistic, stupid photo leh."

"U see, it is called Iridescence across Corridors for a reason! The lights symbolise the people who gave me hope when I was weak, and the 4 lights show my mum, my dad, my brother and my best friend.

The corridors leads down to a dark alley, symbolising that u will never know what is going to happen in life. And Corridors! Living life is like walking down a corridor, fill of turns and twists, and also u think u are alone, but u are not, as the Iridescence of the lights will always be with you. Artistic right?"

Anyway, the main course set dinner (western) was COD FISH! THATS LIKE MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE FISH! While I was working I was drooling all over the food... And then Nathan wanted to talk or something and we had to stop service. So me and PY went to the kitchen. Guess what we found in the food heater.

It may look pretty revolting here but it IS VERY NICE! IT IS ORGASMIC! Totally yummy! We stole the extra leftover Cod fish from the kitchen and took 2 pieces each to go to the toilet to eat our fill.

Thats me having an orgasm.

It was a pity that there was no sauce though, as it was in a separate dish and we had to be quick in stealing. Later, when PY and I went out of the toilet looking suspiciously fat and contented, we got rather pissed off.

There we were stuffing ourselves in the toilet fast, and there the rest of the staff were, eating the full set (complete with creamy sauce, asparagus and other whatevers) ON THE TABLE, officially allowed by the managers. Haiz.. Nvm, we had our fill.

Thats is about Istana, nothing much interesting, except that the PY managed to get chummy with the security guard of Nathan or something and he said that Nathan's favourtie song is Bangawan solo. LOLz... I dunno whether that is true, but if it is, I find it very funny.

And yes, Nathan is very short.
*****

Guess what came in the mail today. You are right! It is something that will not interest you! But I still feel like posting the picture up.

It is the silver casing lar, not the whole PDA. Now my palmtop looks so much better without the old black casing! I am so glad! I bought the casing at $8 from Axegal (who reads my blog!) at yahoo auctions. Wonderful. Come tomorrow, I will do project with my classmates, and I will buy my Gucci wallet (fake one lar) from another Yahoo auctions seller together with June.

Yesterday the person who was in charge of the Hennessy job called me up to ask me to work today. I asked her what kinda place I had to go to. She said a KTV pub. I said, Hmmm, okie. She asked me to find another person to work with me, and Xf, upon hearing the pay, said she would like to give it a try.

The pay is 80 bucks for 3 hours.

Anyway I would like to explain some stuff. I am not a slut. I once worked for Tiger Beer and Guinness as their promoters and both were totally decent jobs. No touching by the guests. Just strictly beer pouring. So yeah I thought Hennessy was the same.

1 hour before I went to the KTV pub I asked the girl in charge whether the KTV has "girls" inside. She said "Yeah, why?"

Sleaze!

Xf was horrified. She refused to go to the pub initially. I told her we could leave if we wanted to, and she said that they would force us to stay inside. Well anyway I forgot to bring a black skirt for her and she had to wear her jeans to work.

And we arrived at the scary place.

It is not as bad as I thought actually. The guests were fine; they didn't try to molest us or anything but seemed to treat us like little girls instead. After half an hour of not really doing anything except pour some liquer, the manager called me up.

Turned out that the stupid supervisor of the pub told her that one of us (XF) wore jeans and slippers, and we did not do the job properly but slacked around. The second part is totally not true! In fact, within half an hour we sold 3 bottles of VSOP (betcha didn't know it means Very Superior Old Pale) each costing $250!

But anyway WE GOT SACKED! He told us we can leave! I am damn insulted. Here I am, wondering whether I, being afterall a person with slightly above average intelligence, shld lower myself to work such a sleazy job, and HE FIRED ME! THE NERVE! Can he find someone prettier than XF?? How dare he fire us! An undergrad working for him! Gosh...

So after half an hour of doing absolutely nothing much, we left the place and asked Ghimz the Giam to join us for some Mac and went home.

Upon reaching home, I was thinking: "Holy shit! I earned 25 bucks just like that (they paying us for one hour of work)! Thats equivalent to working at the Ritz from 6 till 11, which is much much more tiring. Here flick hair a bit can earn money so easily... Hmmm..."

Anyway I explained stuff to my manager so I think she would still ask me to work, but perhaps for a different outlet or something. Shld I continue? If the job scope only consists of pouring Hennessy and promoting it for 3 hours and I will not get touched, is it job to be ashamed off? But the pay is so good. Gimme some opinions.

I once received an email by someone placing a cam inside a KTV pub and publishing the pictures. It looks utimately terrible! The room had naked women doing blows for the men, and lusty old men playing with the hostresses' nipples while they sing, or hostresses doing handjobs. Very scandalous indeed.

However, nothing of that interesting sort happened at all. Perhaps it was a more decent pub. The worst thing I shall was a "Girl" sitting on a man's lap facing him, ala sex position.

Haiz... I want my T500...

If I dun work this job I can't buy it, and I would feel very pissed indeed.

Oh yeah I joined the Get spotted contest from Starhub, and sent a photoshopped picture into it! But my pic will not be up till a few days later, and u all muz vote for me k k? Must ah! Meanwhile, please sign up and vote every other person a ONE STAR coz they all look quite ugly, in my opinion.

Oh yeah I am aware this entry is neither funny nor interesting, but forgive me, I am tired. I also did up the FAQ page so can check it out.

I'm feeling much better now! The tonsil might have swelled until it became so big it dropped off, so now my stomach is possibly digesting it. Thats good. Tonsils are useless anyway.

In case u dunno what a tonsil is, it is a cross between a tongue and a stepsil.

Yesterday I had work at New Park Hotel, and goodness knows why, that particular family had ALOT of kids. I hate kids at banquets. Ok I pretty much hate kids. Oh, I'm not that unkind. Who doesn't love babies? I love babies. They smell so nice (is it some water bag or vagina smell? Sometimes I wonder.) and I think they are absolutely cute.

But I hate the babies once they learn to talk. In my opinion, kids shld always keep quiet. Kids nowadays are too darn rude.

Thats why I only had ONE tuitioning experience:

Mum: This is Wendy jie jie, ur new tutor. Ok Wendy u teach him his spelling first, then help him with some Hw and make him do some assessments ok?

Me: Okie.

Smelly 9 yr old boy, when mum is gone: Hello Wendy!

Me: Oei, u are supposed to call me Wendy Jie Jie.

Smelly 9 yr old boy: I show u my pokemon toy?

Me: No, no, learn ur spelling!

Smelly 9 yr old boy: Why shld I listen to u? U are not my mother.

Me: *gasp* But ur mother ask u to learn what.

Smelly 9 yr old boy: But u also never learn, why must I learn it?

Me: Thats irrelevant! It is your spelling, so YOU shld learn it, not me!

Smelly 9 yr old boy: Hiyah. I show u my pokemon toy?

Actually the above didn't happen but my tolerance level is lower than that. I have heard much worse from my friends. Goodness knows why they subject themselves to such torture. Hey, personally I would rather pour tea and carry heavy platters and subject myself to tremendous ridiculous requests from guests.

Kids nowadays. Whenever they ask u "why" and challenge u that they will not do something when u ask them to, U SHOW THEM WHO IS BOSS. God made adults bigger sized than kids not so that kids will look cute, but because adults are meant to bully kids. Give the smelly kid (I'm talking about those above 6 yrs old) a whack on the head with a giant pikachu toy and he will know better than to challenge u in future.

*****
EG, tuition scenerio:

Smelly 9 yr old boy: Why shld I listen to u? U are not my mother.

Me: *Whack head with a giant Pikachu toy* Roars: BECAUSE I SAY SO! NOW DO IT!

Me: Shut up! U DESERVED THAT WHACKING! *Whacks one more time* U go tell lar, u think I scared ah. At most I lose this job. U think I wan to teach u meh? But now *steals a glance at cover of textbook*, I know ur class and school, and if u tell ur mum, I will TELL ALL UR CLASSMATES THAT U HAVE A PINK POWERPUFF GIRL STUFF TOY AT HOME! Muahahahhaha!

Anyway, yesterday when I was opening the door for the bride and groom to make their grand entrance, this male colleague of mine suddenly asked me: Hey, u have a website izzit?

I was damn freaked out.

Despite my very shocked face, he continued to ask: "Hey, that Indian guy really smoke on the MRT ah?"

Ah well. It doesn't seem like that much people have read the site before (statistics from the webcounter), since I have always assumed that my readers come back regularly. But of course, I forgot that there might have been alot of people only seeing it ONCE to see what the big deal is.

So yeah, since there are so many peole reading this, I shall do up an FAQ page. Will be done soon.

I recently got to know this love scandal happening at my work place. It is quite interesting so I shall say it, but names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Keith (thats one of my favourite names coz I like names with TH in it.) is the banquet manager. Scrunchie (I have a fetish for scrunchies. I keep buying ang buying scrunchies so I have like 15 now. And I just decided that I like it as a name. Doesn't it look so cute?) is Keith's gf, and is one of the banquet waitresses. In fact, Keith and Scrunchie have been together for 8 months now, but Keith doesn't want anyone in the workplace to know, coz it will make things awkward for the rest of the Banquet staff.

So anyway, theres this other girl called Monica who likes Keith. Monica does not know that Keith is attached to Scrunchie, so she is like mad over him. On the other hand, Monica self-proclaimed that she is Scrunchie's very good friend, so she regularly calls to tell Scrunchie about how much she loves Keith.

Scrunchie is very unwilling to hear Monica bitch about how Keith was so nice to her today, how she thinks Keith might be in love with her etc, but yet, she is too curious to hear from Monica's point of view what Keith has been doing to Monica behind her back. And also, the author personally feels that Scrunchie is too nice a person to smack Monica and tell her to fuck off. Failing that, Scrunchie could say "So? Who cares?" to Monica like I have taught u guys to, but Scrunchie doesn't read my blog.

One fine day, Monica asked Keith to go clubbing with her. Keith told her he is not free as he was out drinking with other friends. So Monica got pissed drunk (I personally feel that she PRETENDED to be pissed drunk), and called Keith up.

Monica asked Keith to come to look for her as she is not feeling well. Keith, having just finished drinking with his friends, agreed.

OH FUCK IT! I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT MONICA IS ATTACHED! Okie keep that in mind now. She could have asked her bf to come fetch her, but no! She had to ask Keith. Slut. Oops, I forgot to be objective. I am on Scrunchie's side afterall.

Keith told Monica he will send her home in a cab, but Monica claimed that her mum will get angry with her if she goes home so pissed drunk. (Well thats her own business. If she knows her mum will get angry, DUN DRINK!) But despite the apparent flaw in that statement, Keith decided that sending her home is not an option.

Monica suggested to go to Keith's place (we all know her motive, dun we?). Keith's family knows Scrunchie and loved her, so Keith's family will personally slaughter him if he brings some drunk girl home. So Keith told her that is not an option as well.

I personally would have left Monica in the streets but Keith (men. *rolls eyes*) suggested booking a hotel room.

The next morning, Keith told Scrunchie that he and Monica stayed over at a hotel room togther and they did not do anything.

A few hours later came Monica's call to Scrunchie too, and Monica told Scrunchie that she and Keith did heavy patting and stopped short of sex coz Monica felt she was not ready. (what about her bf?!)

Poor Scrunchie. Naturally she confronted Keith and Keith admitted to his crimes and apologized profusely saying that he was pissed drunk as well. Convenient excuse. Get urself pissed drunk and u can rape little 5 yr old girls as well and escape scot free.

Can u believe Scrunchie actually forgived Keith? And also, Keith, till this day, did not tell Monica that he is attached, so Monica is still flirting with him outrageously during work hours, making Scrunchie a very upset person.

Goodness knows why Scrunchie is still with Keith. Scrunchie is entering uni soon, and Keith possibly cannot string a bundle of words into an English sentence. He is my banquet manager and a very nice person, but haiz... Compatibility is another thing. Of course, it is not up to me to judge whether Scrunchie shld be with Keith or not in the first place, but after this incident, there is NO WAY i would forgive Keith if I am Scrunchie.

Am sick. Think I'm running a fever. I shall go sleep right, and try to blog tml. No one is allowed to ask me to take care. If u intended to ask me to take care, say I'm pretty instead and I will feel much better.

I shall skip school.

Dammit, I got alot to write but Ow, that swollen tonsil. I wanna cut it off.

Oh my god oh my god. I am really really touched by all the comments u guys left after the latest entry. U people are really the best, seriously speaking. *tears* And anyway, I would just like to admit that the previous entry was simply one caused by PMS (I really got my period around 4 hours after I wrote that entry), so I am feeling much better. Thats right, women and mood swings, heehee...

Just now something very terrible happened. I got home after a job interview (which I succeeded) as a mobile phone promoter (some new brand) and I rushed into the bathroom to bathe happily. Stripped down to nothing and sat on the toilet seat while replying XF's sms (yes I bring my phones into the toilet). As I was clicking away, something brown and nervous flew straight towards me, seemingly attracted to my belly ring area.

A giant moth, spanning 4 cm in length I'm sure, if it spread its wings properly. It flew towards my naked body at 80 km/hr and while I was paralysed with disgust, landed "turp, flutter, flutter" on my stomach and bounced off to my thighs.

I sent a silent prayer to whoever up there that it didn't land on my boobs.

From my thighs, it proceeded to act as if it was very scared of the actions of me doing a combination of shrieking, screaming my head off and flinging my hands everywhere. How could that stupid thing be scared? He knows jolly well that teenage Singaporean females will not dare to kill it. It is HAVING GREAT FUN! It happily flew everywhere near me (around the face area) while my mum, maid and brother shouted and asked me what is wrong. No doubt they thought I had gone mad.

And it knew that it can happily fulfil its voyeurism coz it will take some time for me to wrap myself in a towel, wipe my a** (sorry for the explicit details), flush the toilet, and then open the bathroom door for rescuers to come in.

Singaporean girls might not kill it, but Indonesian women have no pity. My maid stepped into the bathroom, took some toilet paper, and smashed the powdery cretin to the last of its lusty life.

I continued with my shower thinking how, if that little piece of *toot* was still alive, I would torture it. I would put it a little plastic box. I would shake it like it was a pepper shaker. I would pull its feelers out one by one, followed by legs. I will dangle a female moth (I'm sure the one who attacked me is male) in front of it and not allow it to mate. I would then put the moth into the microwave and turn the heat to "low" and let it scald. Slowly. As if that is not enough, just when it is almost too hot for it to survive, i will take it outta the microwave.

It thinks that finally it is getting cooler. I WOULD GIVE IT COOLER! I will put into pieces of ice cubes to freeze it to death. And finally when the ice cubes melt and it thinks that it is finally not so cold, it would DROWN!!! BWAHAHAHAHHAHA! *Evil laughter*

It was a traumatizing bath I had.

Anyway, after what seems like an extremely long time, I finally had a good hair day! In actual fact, my hair looked like utter shit in the morning. Feeling pissed, I took out one of those rollers u thought only aunties use and put them on. Ah! After 3 hours, those stupid dead cells had no choice but to curl up nicely.

I looked at the awesome hair in excitement, and did something very stupid.

U see, the problem with my hair is that it is like a gremlin. It simply cannot touch water or horrible lumps will start popping up and destroying the world.

I forgot this little fact and in a desperate attempt to try to freeze the curls into position for the rest of the day, sprayed gel all over it.

And the gel boosted its high water content proudly while my curls disintergratd into hair Hermione Granger would be ashamed of.

But! I managed to take a photo b4 it went too bad.

Something must be done to the hair. I am thinking of dyeing it blonde.

I'm sick of my curls being so ugly most of the time nowadays. I wanna go rebonding it and cut it into something moe stylish. Say, Landy (wen lan)'s hair? I'm worried about the fringe part though. Here it is, jet black hair w/o fringe.

Here it is with fringe:
please try to ignore that the neck is a different colour.

I am aware it looks relatively ugly. But I'm quite sure I will straighten it, and put a single white (or pink, I haven't decided which) streak in the fringe like Landy did. I feel like spending money on hair.

If not on hair, then where else shld I spend my immerse fortune on?

You see, the zhao cai jin bao necklace really works. Eileen called me up to ask me to work as a pair with her to promote Hennessy, which is paying 80 bucks for 3 hours of work.

That pretty good money! If I work for 3 days a week I would get 960 bucks a month, holy shit!

I feel filthy rich already.

It will be time to buy an mp3 player. Take a look at my discman, so terribly injured.

Can u beliece this piece of antique was a gift from mum for good PSLE results?!

I already have too many gadgets I bring out everyday (palm, camera, two phones),so I decided I shall purchase the Nokia mp3 player so that at least it looks like it comes with the phone (if only)

Hurray, so exciting! And to everyone who gave me encouragements all this while, thank u again for being there when I was so down!

Btw, I feel like setting up #xiaxue in irc so that I can talk to my readers leh. Is it too bhb? Will u all support? If yes just go into the channel tml night k k?

The day before, I was busy being upset with XF being VIP server instead of me. Yesterday, I was upset because PY told me that XF confided in her that she felt, although I am a good friend of hers, I never seem to be able to feel happy for anything good that happens to her.

Thats not true. I felt sincerely glad for her when she got into the Uni course she wants. Its just that.. never mind already. I wonder how we are supposed to feel glad for others when we ourselves are down?

If u failed ur O levels, would u feel happy for a friend who got 9 A1s? Some people can sincerely do that. Perhaps their heart is split into two parts and while one part is bleeding with the own failure, the other part is feeling sincerely happy. So does the face register a frown or a smile? It is impossible for the two to go together.

Perhaps my heart is one whole big lump then. When I fail and someone I cared about succeeds with the exact same results i would like to get in the same test, I would be too busy brooding over my own failure and can't bring myself to rejoice even about scientists inventing a medicine which can eliminate pimples from the face of this earth.

I wonder what to say to XF. Congratulations for being promoted? Ah well, I can be polite all I want, but it is hypocritical. I tried, I really did. The excitement I put on when I told her rang phoney in my ears.

I have worked for a much longer time. I have much more experience. I AM THE ONE WHO ANNOUNCED BEFORE THAT I WANTED TO BE THE VIP SERVER while XF and PY commented that it is no big deal being it and they can't be bothered with such minor issues. It is thoroughly embarrassing to me. Utterly humiliating.

I know XF would give up the position to me to make me feel happier. Yet, I can't seem to even bother to hide feeling upset to let her feel glad about something which I shld be proud of her about. I am the world's suckiest friend ever.

I didn't hide my feelings, coz I thought if I had to hide my feelings to even my best friend, who else can I speak the truth to?

4 out of the 8 paragraphs I wrote starts with "I". Thats right, I'm a self-centred bitch.

Of course, I shldn't speak my true feelings to XF coz it will make her feel upset. I am just too DARN selfish to realise that.

My conscience is shouting to me: "What do u expect XF to do about this, huh? It is not her fault that she got promoted! It is ur own fault for slacking at work. So u want Ritz Carlton to promote u and watch u steal food from the bridal table? U want XF to get all upset and maybe even guilty for causing ur unreasonable anger when she shld rightfully be glad of her accomplishments because she totally deserved it?"

I whimpered painfully at the thoughts. I am being pulled both ways. This sucks. No one shld be the VIP server so no friendship gets hurt over such trivial stuff.

No, thats not what it shld be. I would rather the VIP server be XF than some other lousy waitress. And it is my own problem that I got upset. No one else would be. PY isn't upset. Cloudy ain't upset. The world is still spinning and I can jolly well accept the fact and stop making XF feel so dilemmic, if there is such a word.

So, thats it XF. I got over it already. U are better at some, I am better at some. It is just that it happened that I thought I was better at banqueting than u, and I am wrong. Well, sod it. Who cares about banqueting. I rule at blog writing, but thats the only thing I feel I am good at nowadays.

My self-confidence is at an ALL TIME LOW. I hope u stupid bastards who insensitively keep praising June and XF and insulting me can stop it coz I am close to tears already. I am not threatening. This is the truth.

Perhaps what I am feeling is just so trivial. My maid pulled me close just now, and confided to me that the man she loves back in Indonesia has married another woman, and the woman is pregnant. She non-chalently continued to cut up the carrot to cook for my dinner while I remained silent and siad nothing for a long while.

My troubles are so small compared to hers. I can work harder at Ritz and be promoted in a jiffy and stop being so sullen and sour. Self confidence can be regained about looks, if I just go to some club and sit around. Guys would come and tell me I am beautiful. I might have to choose to neglect the fact that they only want to get into my pants of course.

But my maid? She can't even go back to Indonesia to wallop the shit outta that guy if she wants to. She can't even call to tell him she had loved him coz calling is expensive.

And she has to see him with her everyday coz he is her neighbour. I wonder how it feels like to be this helpless. I think go crazy.

Feel much better after blogging this out. Perhaps u guys would like to know that blogging is my only form of self-confidence nowadays.

What is it about height anyway? I dun see why that is a plus point at all. Sure, it helps u take stuff from high selves. Sure, the air u breathe is fresher. But as I have once said before, aesthetics is all about proportion, not height.

Perhaps u guys forgot the cavemen story on how height became an important factor for beauty nowadays. Maybe I shld reillustrate it?

Indeed, I shall. For those of u who read it before, please read it again coz obviously u didn�t get my point.

Once upon a time very very long ago, the earth was only populated by Cavepeople and perhaps some sabertooth tigers. The Cavepeople were divided into groups by their height, coz the taller ones are usually the stronger and more successful. The tall cavepeople are leaders because it is more possible for them to find food as they are the ones who can reach higher up the trees for fruits, and go deeper into the rivers to catch fish.

Not unexpectedly, they run faster too (longer legs, longer strides), thus they dun often get killed by the said sabertooth tigers.

The leaders of the pack, aka the Tall Cavepeople, decided one day that Tall is good, Tall is beautiful, Tall is everything nice.

Being tall cavemen, they wanted tall cavewomen too, so that the cavewomen dun look so stubbed (I dun think there is such a word, but heck.) standing beside them. Besides this, tall cavewomen cannot claim that they are too short to wash clothes in the river without being washed away. This point, the tall cavemen liked!

So they started to make Tall Cavebabies by only letting the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewomen have sex. And boy did they have sex! They �oooh!� and �ahhh!� all day long in the day, mating and mating.

Slowly, the Short Cavepeople foresaw what is going to happen to them. You see, God was fair and mighty in those days, and he made the short cavepeople smarter instead of taller and stronger. The Short cavepeople knew that with more Tall Cavepeople, they would be kicked out of the gang to become outcasts pretty soon, and be bullied more.

The Short Cavepeople were totally against the idea of the fruit of Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman�s labour.

And they were short. So they can�t do much about it, except whine the whole day and give the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman a kick whenever they passed by that eventful cave. Not that the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman noticed of course.

The Average-height Cavepeople were pissed with all the pandemonium. In fact, they were pissed with almost everything. They were the only type of people God seems to be unfair to. God gave them half brains and half height.

In fact, the Average-height Cavepeople were so pissed with the constant moaning of the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman, and the constant whining of the Short Cavepeople, that they can�t take it any longer. They took out a parang (a kinda knife their kind invented) and slaugthered the shit outta Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman.

It may be interesting to note that Tallest Cavewoman was killed exactly when she got her first orgasm, also marking the first pre-historic orgasm ever (She was 13 and stood at 1.87m) in the records of history. From then on people concluded that girls like excitements such as being threatened with a parang while having sex and therefore came bondage and sado-masochism.

Anyway, we can imagine the aftermath of the bloodshed. The tall cavepeople were very angry with the Average-height Cavepeople for the unreasonable killings of the Tallest of their kind. They decided they shall tolerate no more of such nonsense, and with a huff, they took the pre-historic heels they made for their then-still-not-that-tall cavewomen and left the place.

Without the Tall Cavepeople�s help to catch food, the rest suffered significant losses in their meals. Secretly the smart Short Cavepeople were inventing fishing rods and arrows and spears for easier gaming, and they once tried to teach the Average-height Cavepeople how to use those things, but they were just to dumb to learn.

Instead, the average-height Cavepeople decided that it was the Short Cavepeople�s fault for whining in the first place, and started to beat the Short Cavepeople up whenever they can. The Short Cavepeople, being kind-hearted fellows actually, started to decided it IS their fault that the Tallest Caveman and Tallest Cavewoman got killed.

With the beatings and the guilt, they could take it no more and migrated in an opposite direction to the Tall Cavepeople.

The Average height Cavepeople were in a loss. Now, they were lazy bastards and were very happy with the Short Cavepeople�s catches but now that both the Tall and Short were gone, they had no food.

So they secretly followed the Short Cavepeople, and stopped a few hundred of kilometres away from them, coz they discovered that their country has a few nice islands.

A few earthquakes which split the earth and a few billions years later, the Tall Cavepeople found themselves in Paris, and that�s why the supermodels all got �great height�. The phrase �looks like a model� was actually a shortened form of �Looks like a living model of the Tallest Cavewoman�.

The Short Cavepeople, now having evolved into wimpy people not willing to voice any opinions (and not to mention, short), were actually there before Sang Nila Utama came to our sunny island, called Singapore.

The barbaric Average-height Cavepeople, being stupid, can only watch from a distance the success of the Short community (of course they will succeed coz they are smart) with a very sore eye.

They, up to this day, still bully the Short community because the Short community is tolerant and good-natured. One day, we will reach up to our limits and fire all the �Average height� workers working in our country. We see how they will survive!

Alright! So now u know why height is seen as being important in our society. However, nobody stopped to think that ladders have render tree climbing useless.

Boats have rendered deep river fishing useless.

Cars have rendered escaping from wild animals useless, not to mention that the Sabertooth tiger is extinct.

So height has no use whatsoever nowadays. It is just and age-old tradition that tall is good. Yes, tall men look stronger, thus it is undeniable that they look better.

But tall women? There is no need to look strong at all for women. I personally think that long legs will get entangled in bed, so short women are better sex partners.

I shall make it clear. In my blog, any comment saying tall is good or shu nu is good or anything I once wrote is bad is good, shall be deleted without pity. My blog is an Anti height, anti shu nu blog so sod off.

Tall is good, but short is better. Now learn to say �Wow, she is so short!� in the same breath as �Wow, she is so tall!� and dun be one of those stupid people so influenced by society�s view. Afterall, short people tend to live longer. Look at those Japanese.

Thats Clara on the right... And the cutie on her left! It is her Chung Cheng classmate who later became an actor is The Unbeatables III! Cute huh?

Someone, I dun remember who, took a picture with my digicam coz it was the first time he/she saw it since I bought it in the hols. It accidentally features me playing with Aaron's new SL55 (Dun gasp, the 8910 is nicer ok.) and looking remarkably thin for totally NO PHOTOSHOP DONE. I think I shall start to wear black, although I dun like it coz it looks morbid and I am a happy happy person!

And Clara is actually pretty too. U can see that she has a cute dimple and a nice nose. Just between u and me, I shall tell u that she has big boobs too! For those of u idolising XF and June, perhaps u wud like a change of target.

Last but not least in the picture is Aaron's green eye. It looks damn scary, hahaha.. He seems to look pissed that I robbed him of his new phone.

I would like to mention the necklace. U see, I bought it some time ago, and everyone said it is ugly. Thats is because it writes Zhao Cai Jing Bao on it, exactly like the kind ur mum gets from the temple, except bigger. But I persisted in wearing it often.

AND IT WORKS! Did u know that Ritz Carlton kept asking me to work, Tiger Beer asked me to work, and the talent agency I worked for for Guinness asked me to work too! MONEY IS ROLLING IN! I am filthy rich again! Well alright not yet anyway. Soon.

Okie I am gonna skip school tml. I am a very bad student. Good night all!

Oh yeah I forgot to mention: For all of u who haven seen the FHM special coz it cannot be viewed, u can see it here. It wouldn't run outta bandwidth again, all thanks to Richard who mirrored it for me. It is exactly the same so if u saw it already there is no need to go again.

Thanks Richard!

And I urge everyone to take the poll to tell me if u are a guy or girl k k? It is just below the tagboard, and it is anonymous so just clicking wun do anything scary like popping pop-up ads to u. Or perhaps it does, i dunno.

But JUST DO THE POLL! I dun believe only 16 people and one amoeba read my blog!

You see, once upon a time Eileen (Eileen who? Go see Character Intro, RV friends) had this ex boyfriend called Khai who had a pea-sized brain. Not only has he the brains of a caterpillar, he has the ego of Saturn's size. However, despite the obvious flaw in his intellect, he ALWAYS wins arguments with Eileen. Lets see how.

Eileen told me about this arguement she had with Khai.

-I forgot the exact arguement and so did Eileen so I shall just use another word to replace the argued word yeah?-

Eileen, to another friend when she was in a cab with Khai: "Yadda yadda yadda divorce yadda yadda"

Khai: "Divorce should be pronounced de-vorce and not die-vorce!" (Divorce is not the exact argued word.)

Khai: "Pronounce it anyway u like, but I know I am correct coz Americans pronounce it that way."

Eileen: "But the British pronounce it my way."

Khai: "We shld follow the Americans."

Eileen: "Obviously we shld follow British coz our English follows their system in Singapore! Duh!"

Khai, knowing he lost the arguement: "Hiyah, De-vorce, die-vorce, WHO CARES?"

Eileen: "Yeah right if u dun care about it then in the first place why did u correct me?"

Khai: "WHO CARES?"

LOL.. So freaking irritating right. I suggest u start to do that to people u dislike alot. It is powerful, this who cares thingy. It not only lowers ur opponent by saying u dun give a shit about his opinions, it also gives u the final word in the arguement by saying that ur opponent may be correct, but u just dun think he is worth ur time arguing. And giving the last word in an arguement is a good cheap thrill to have.

So to people who dun like me:

Antixiaxue: U are freaking ugly and fat.

Me: Yeah okie I am. Who cares!

Lovejune: June is much more shu nu than u and prettier than you.

Me: Yeah okie. Who cares if she is?

To make the opponent EVEN more irritated, u can add a SO?

Eg:

Antixiaxue: You are freaking ugly and fat.

Me: So?

Antixiaxue: So u are wrong thinking u are pretty.

Me: So?

Antixiaxue: So u are a bitch, so so so!

Me: So?

Antixiaxue: Oh shut up~! Dun u have anything else better to argue?

Me: WHO CARES?

Finally, theres also one more method u can use that irritates the shit outta people. The word "Jealous". When u say someone is jealous, u are maligning the person without proof (who all know how terrible it feels to be accused.) and also, at the same time, praising urself. Ain't that great? Once again, it can be paired up with "who cares?", and I suggest to make the person damn angry u act irrelevant as well.

See, it is foolproof. Try it on dumb people today. They all shldn't exist anyway, so lets torture them outta their existance.

P/s: Thanks to everyone who give nice comments in the previous blog, and to June: I am not upset anymore after I typed out my frustrations so dun u feel guilty or anything lidat okie? *muacks*
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I am in a bad mood. I shall scold the next person who tells me June is pretty on MY blog. I am jealous, yes. Afterall, this is MY blog so give me a break will you? Dun tell me u come here just to see her pictures. Dun tell me u are not here for my writing. If so, please sod off, I dun need lusty pigs reading my blog.

I am feeling doubtful about the blog again. I know u guys gave me lots of generous encouragements, but I am really easily shaken. U say, I once commented to a friend that I think more females than males read my blog and asked him for an explanation.

He commented that I bitch alot thus girls will come read it. "Then what about guys?" I asked. Afterall there is a fair amount of the said gender too. He replied confidently, "Hiyah, u ask some chio bu to write anything people will read one lar."

I was deeply appalled despite the praise. Are there really such superficial guys around? Then what if the guys all read my blog coz they are hoping everyday to see a picture of June or XF?

Thats pretty disgusting. Please direct ur lust to http://juneisthebest.blogspot.com. I just set up the blog for u all. Dun come spray ur half transparent semen all over here, after this is MY blog, and ALL MINE! THE ONLY ADMIRERS ALLOWED HERE ARE MINE!

In here, u are allowed to comment stuff like, "June looks quite pretty in that picture", BUT NO WORSHIPPING! NO LICKING THE GROUND SHE STANDS ON! Thats about all I can tolerate. Afterall June is already happily attached to a man (boy i mean) she wants to marry and has been with for 3 years (make it 5 so it sounds more dramatic), so u dun STAND A CHANCE AT ALL.

And also, can u explain what u like about her? DO U EVEN KNOW HER? She may be a transvestite, for all u know. U see a few pictures, and a few comments (which are rare nowadays since her com spoilt) and u claim u are deeply in love. Newflash: She doesn't give a shit about you coz u are just one of those common horny bastards. And surprise surprise! She is not a shu nu!

You are as deep as a piece of this:

I am, on the other hand, perfect and single. But people who once liked June has no chance with me too, coz I dun like being second choice when obviously u didn't notice on first sight that I am a pure goddess.

Obviously I would get hate mail for this entry, once again. People saying I am selfish, jealous etc etc. Yup, I am. So what? Who cares? You still love my blog anyway.

Heres June's photo once again, just to piss u off by telling u u can't get her.

Oh, so cute! If only u could touch her! But no! U can't! Coz she is my lesbian partner and no one else can have her!

If u disagree with anything I say, u are only deluded. Everyone else loves me.