Thursday, September 20, 2012

Nik Lelifanovski- Event Analysis

Ever
since I entered the chapel in Hammerman for Zen Meditation that Tuesday afternoon,
I became a different person. “The Birthmark”, by
Nathaniel Hawthorne, “The Yellow Wallpaper”, by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, and
“I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud”, by William Wordsworth all relate to the
meditation. Meditation was a new experience for me and I was not sure if I
would be the only oblivious student in the room. As I followed directions to
bow and keep my posture correctly, I started to feel different inside in those
fifteen minutes. Those fifteen minutes that we actually meditated, I felt as if
I was in a different world where everything felt perfect. After reading each
story, I grew in confidence and serenity.

In “The Birthmark”, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, the brilliant
scientist, Aylmer, is married to a woman named Georgiana, who many considered
the epitome of beauty. She has a small birthmark on her left cheek. Many
consider this her “charm”. However, Aylmer believes that this birthmark is
nothing but a flaw. He continuously criticizes Georgiana and tries to convince
her to get the birthmark removed. After a while, what Georgiana once saw as her
charm, she now sees as her largest imperfection. Aylmer was able to tear down
Georgiana’s confidence and made her feel like what once made her unique really
was her greatest defect. Prior to my meditation, I felt insecure and
vulnerable, likewise Georgiana felt after the excessive criticism from Aylmer.
However, during my meditation, I was able to discover that my flaws were what
made me unique. Similarly, to Georgiana in the beginning of the story, after my
meditation, I accepted my “imperfections” and realized they were what made me a
strong and unique individual.

In “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins
Gilman, a wife, who is the narrator, and
her husband, who is also her physician, go to stay in a secluded summer home in
the woods. It is here that her husband decides to attempt to treat her for her
depression. As part of the treatment, he locks her in a room with yellow
wallpaper. Throughout this treatment, the narrator keeps a secret journal. Day
after day, the narrator writes about her infatuation with the yellow wallpaper.
As the treatment progresses, she begins to see woman trapped behind bars in the
design of the yellow wallpaper. She then discovers that it is herself that is
trapped behind the bars of the wallpaper. Finally, she destroys the wallpaper
in an attempt to free herself and the woman behind bars. Although it was
against her will being in the yellow room gave the narrator time to meditate. She was able to see that through her life she
was suppressed by her husband. Although she went insane, she was able to free
herself from the restriction from the society and her husband. Through my
meditation, I was able to realize that there were certain people in my life
that were holding me back and I needed to break free from their control. Once I
broke free, I had a new sense of self.

In “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud”, by William Wordsworth, the
narrator is in an area in the upmost serenity and beauty. As he takes in the
beauty of the nature that surrounds him, it seems he may never find a place as
calm and stunning as the setting he finds himself in now. Whenever the narrator
becomes upset, he takes himself back to this happy place. This is the perfect
example of what I experienced when I meditated. A sense of calmness surrounded
me and I was able to discover what my happy place is. Personally, my homeland
Macedonia is the place I go to in my mind when I am feeling low. When I find my
happy place, I am able to forget all the difficulties that I am dealing with
and focus on what is really important, much like the narrator in the story.

When reading all three stories, I was able to relate my
personal meditation experience with what each character was experiencing.
Whether it was with Georgiana in “The Birthmark”, and her confidence issues, or
the narrator in “The Yellow Wallpaper”, in her
sense of feeling trapped or even with the narrator in “I Wandered Lonely
as a Cloud”, when he found his happy place, I was able to see myself a little
bit in each character. Between the meditation and the stories this experience
was life changing for me.