Remembrance Sunday

Today I remembered Rich on the phone to BG just before he left for the Afghan.

I remember seeing him drive away, and praying so damn hard that he’d come back.

I remember lying to him about how much I’d heard from the She-Ex and how many pictures there were.

I remember the sound of the air-raid warning when we were on the phone, and how he told me not to worry, but he had to go.

I remember the hope and numbness of just not thinking about it, when I hadn’t heard for 4 days.

I remember watching the news at 3am when I couldn’t sleep.

I remember the shock of seeing him home 2 days early. Hearing Caroline shouting my name and me telling her I had to get off the phone. Thinking I was seeing things. Just seeing him there in his desert kit.

Today I held the hand of a man I’ll never have to pack for, I’ll never have to watch Sky News for, I’ll never have to deal with a vindictive ex-wife for, I’ll never have to see in danger. I know there are mere boys out there at the moment. Selfishly, tonight, I’m glad that none of them are mine.

Just so you know.....

I'm from England - so some of the words I use are different to some of the American words. If you're stuck or confused, just leave a comment and ask!

A little translation -

AC - my Adorable Child, boy, age 12.J - my wonderful fiancé, who has hugged my broken heart back into one piece, and loves the AC who loves him back.

T-boy - J's son, age 14.

Rich - my then fiancé who was killed in July '09BG - Beautiful Girl, Rich's daughter and my stepdaughter, who never saw her father again after her mother chose to take her away to the States at 3 years old in '05.She-Ex - BG's mother. R's ex.He-Ex - the ACs father. My ex.

Frank, Errol and Kevin are cats.

Anyone else I'll add as I come across them, or leave me a comment and I'll explain!