How I Spent My Birthday

I just thought I would tell you about my birthday yesterday. I woke up thinking that I should just stay home and take my personal holiday, However after wishing me a happy birthday, my lovely wife reminded that I need to go, “Bring home the bacon”. So I got dressed and left for work thinking about how the price of bacon has gone up lately. The stretch of road in front of my house is very rural and loaded with deer. It was a little foggy, so I was driving careful. Once I got onto the next road it was better with less fog and deer, but still very much rural. Down here we say “country” not rural, but that is not the story.

No, the story is about the country hog that decided to leave the farm, because like me he was worrying that the price of bacon has gone up, because the farmer was feeding him extra corn lately. A lot of extra corn, because he had grown to be around 500 pounds. I’m sure you can see where this pig tail is going, and you would be right! I met this runaway at about 50 miles an hour. After I calmed down some, I called BJ on my cell and told her, “Got the Bacon”, need anything else while I was there, like a steak or some chicken. Maybe I can run over a horse, I heard horse meat wasn’t bad. Why didn’t I take the day off?

I will find out today if they are going to total my car. My agent thinks they will, because the airbags blew. The front end is really messed up. I am ok with just a sore chest from the seat belt, and I have a rash on my arms from the air bags. Yep, the price of bacon is high.

To top off my birthday, Barbara and Candi decided to take me out for dinner, and being as country like we are, they took me to “Kens Bar-B-Q” for the Monday night special “All you can eat pork”.