8 Things I Hate About Nairobi And You Probably Do To

When you’re far away from this city, there is always something memorable that is worth missing.

You always hear people abroad saying how much they miss mabuyus or maindi choma, things we obviously take for granted. There are many things that are undeniably worth loving but at the same time there are things I hate about Nairobi and I bet you do to.

In this overcrowded jungle, there are many annoying things that we may agree we do not like. Here are some of them.

1. Traffic.

Even the most patient human being on this earth would go mad in our traffic. For starters, I wish we had functional traffic lights or better yet if drivers understood the importance of the red, green and yellow light. Driving in Nairobi has always been a nightmare with the motorbikes riding around recklessly almost getting hit at every turn by their brothers the matatu drivers. It would be nicer to have our pedestrian crossings repainted so that we can stroll along the black and white lines with our heads held high instead of running across roads like crazy people.

Image: Home – Lanes.co.ke

2. Chokoras AKA street children or families.

There was some relief when these same kids were chased from the streets back in 2003, that time the CBD was considered heavenly, as a matter of fact, it was one of the safest places to be in. Now that they have all managed to sneak back, we are once again either ‘aunt’, ‘uncle’ or ‘sister’ who should give out money at all times. While at the same time being charitable is the right thing to do, enabling this cycle of poverty and facilitating this should stop.

Image: Cargo Collective

3. Noise pollution.

The noisy shoe-selling shops along these streets and downtown stalls are uncalled for. When you’ve come from work in the evening the last thing you need to hear is a loud male voice from a public address system screaming on about shoes. They are simply unregulated and a pain to our ears. This is when I wonder what NEMA is doing.

Image: Urban Planning and Design in Africa

4. Unpredictable bus fares.

If it’s raining, suddenly bus fares hike, when there is traffic it changes too and sometimes if the tout wants to rob us by adding those extra ten or twenty shillings they just will. In just a single day, you can have four different prices all in the same day in our public transport system. I used to think my grandma was overreacting every time she insisted that the fare was meant to be 30 instead of 40. But if you had not planned for that extra amount, then it can change your whole budget. We need more permanent bus fares and functional railways.

Image: Kenyayote

5. Loud church in the hood.

You’ve planned all week just how much you will sleep on Sunday, because Saturday you were too busy getting hammered in Brew Bistro lounge, but the overzealous preacher and the out of tune praise and worship team won’t let you snooze. This kind of church is usually in a tent with not more than 60 people but have speakers placed outside and what’s even worse their loud music is usually distorted with a thunderous pastor that insists on offering every now and then. We need peaceful Sunday snoozes! What happened to the noise pollution edict?

Image: GIF

6. Endless corruption.

At least once every week, there’s money from one ministry or the other that is missing. Politicians have undergone endless interviews and meetings about money that either disappears or you know a hairdresser suddenly getting very rich. This cannot be emphasized by me or anyone else enough, the level of corruption in this country is a serious misfortune. Since the money has probably been stashed in a random island that no one can ever find it, could our officials at least be held accountable for their scums?

Image: Kenya Monitor

7. Poor service.

Some cashiers are just super rude, cashiers, waitresses and the lady for removing Mpesa money all fall in that category. Customer service needs to be taught to majority of Kenyans in the service industry.

Image: Giphy

8. Garbage.

It is not in the nice posh neighborhoods like Karen and Westie but more in Eastlands and some parts in town. Point is it is 2018 and garbage should not be anywhere apart from dustbins. Everyone is responsible for their own trash and city council should work on ensuring that people respect that.