Sunday, February 7, 2010

Well thank GOD. I had gotten so sick of making fun of xkcd for dumb science jokes, or dumb internet meme jokes, or stupid Mr. Hat antics, I had forgotten the true spirit of hating xkcd. Luckily the ghost of webcomics past visited me and showed me this comic and I tearfully remembered just how bad a bad comic can be. It was lovely.

Because this comic is just terrible. First off, I am damn sick and tired of shitty xkcd breakup comics. There have been so fucking many of them, I just do not understand why anyone could not be tired to death of them. Is this one any different? Not really. We see people suddenly go from happy relationship to violent breakup and hatred. I guess part of the joke is how suddenly they break up, which is really more sad than anything else. But then the real point is that they can't even figure out who should hang up first even after their fight. Which...is confusing. Do they still want to be on the phone together? In that case, is the whole breakup not really meaningful? Or do they hate each other really, but in that case, shouldn't they naturally want to hang up in anger?

The problem is that it can't be both, and really, it can't even be either. But thinking things through has never been Randall's strong suit, so how surprised can we be?

Also, it's another comic where the alt-text is identical to the punchline.

Man, sorry I don't have much else to say on this comic - it's just stupid and repetitive. Anything I said about previous Breakup comics applies here too.=============here's a fun compare and contrast: Different takes on the same basic idea from my favorite and my least favorite comics. I, of course, think Tom the Dancing Bug did a better job, especially because it is presented as a satire of current events. But perhaps you disagree?=============Alright, i'm out of here motherfuckers - it's Poore week starting right now. brace yourselves. I'll still lurk around and help celebrate comic #700. But the minimum blood alcohol concentration is about to jump up to about 0.9.

prizes: they won't be money, it'll be something I buy with money and send through the mail. You will probably be able to participate as an Anon but there will have to be some way of identifying you, somehow, no? So we know that you win, and know where to send the prize?

in fairness to the labcoats strip, it's not badly told. you get a "what's going on?" moment, then a seeminlgy unconnected statement, and then an "oh now it makes sense" moment.

so it's not bad. EXCEPT for randy's example of how the lab-coat wearing tricksters abuses his power.disturbing.not disturbing enough to cross the line into dead baby comedy. and not wacky enough to just be humourous as a "ha imagine saying that and being believed because you are thought to be a doctor" idea.so just...disturbing.

and also - stickwoman pregnancy? how can you draw that and not think "wait this is too weird. for the sake of my reader's sanity the least i could to is to poke fun at the weirdness somewhere".i got visual images of worm-like stick babies slithering out of the poor gal's ass/mouth/eyes (lower oneS? so there are multiple upper ones? OH GOD THE EYES!).

ok, I felt really dirty reading the new one, and not necessarily a "holy shit, why the fuck are there hand drawn breasts and vaginas on xkcd 0_0 wtf 0_o" type of dirty, this is more like a "I... am I supposed to laugh? I... I don't know... you are a sick and twisted person Randall Monroe." type of dirty.

Before I read the text at the bottom I could not fathom what was funny, unless it was another of those "don't let idiots become doctors" jokes (yes that is all that NES cartridge blowing gag rang off to me as "dumbasses who would never make it past the entrance exams for med school") but then he had that nice line at the bottom and then I thought "wait, he's been through college, right? He's a Physics major or some shit, he would've taken labs right? I was in a Bio class where we grow weeds in lab and I had to buy a lab coat, what the fuck is he trying to imply?" Also, last time I was in a hospital (which was last August after I passed out from giving blood >_<) I noticed that EVERYONE WAS WEARING NAME TAGS. Randy, next time you draw a comic like this, either make it better (somehow) or at the very least put a nametag on our impersonator so it at least LOOKS like he/you are trying

regards the 'you hang up' strip: christ. read this, and then put on some leonard cohen, and compare.

fuck.

hell, or put on Don't Think Twice It's Alright, and realise dylan was younger than randy is now when he wrote that song.

seriously, there's nothing there except a grasp for GOOMH, and the thought of anyone older than late teens getting one from this strip is just sa-a-a-ad.

so is it that randy is now pandering to a teenaged audience (consider how high school level physics/maths have long replaced anything more complex, consider the FIRST robotics reference, consider the in-the-know nods to internet memes)?or is this strip for him what Don't Think Twice was for some genuine dude like bob?

699 was a great idea and executed okay, but the example he used was just...terrible! Remember the other strip about how you can tell when somebody's pretending to be an expert (except for when they're an English major or something like that)? I'd imagine that something like that fits in this comic. Like...group of doctors are doing surgery, talking all serious-like with medical terminology, suddenly one guy says something totally whacko, gets the wut response, and then says "Incidentally, did you know that you can just BUY lab coats?"

Wait, is that line supposed to be her arm or like...a maternity dress? I honestly can't tell. I'm going to assume her arm but then that means pregnant stick figures just look like regular stick figures so how the hell do they...

God damn it I'm overthinking this. It's not worth thinking about as the comic is shitty and terrible anyway.

I liked 699, and actually giggled wickedly a little bit. It's by no means an original idea, but it's executed as well as xkcd has ever executed before; setup, punchline that recontextualizes the setup, and done. He doesn't overexplain the joke, there's nothing after the punchline...

That said, it would have been funnier had we seen the look on the woman's face. But Randy doesn't do that.

Pretty sure that's her arm. I had to look back at it to see what others were talking about. He always draws arms like that, though.

I liked it. I expect this one to get jumped upon for the sidelong references to girl-parts, so I wish he used a different but equally ridiculous premise, but the execution was nice. The punchline was at the end, it was actually funny, and the alt-text fit.

Incidentally:

" (lower oneS? so there are multiple upper ones? OH GOD THE EYES!)."

Nope. Lower oneS means there's multiple lower ones, not multiple upper ones. It does imply there is at least one upper one.

Not that a baby coming out of her mouth is that much less ridiculous than one coming out of her ears or nose.

have you ever considered that you've outgrown xkcd? You know, it happens to all of us, eventually. (except that twat who posted here a month ago, still enamoured with Star Wars.) Most of us grow beyond these little things.

I wonder if you have the capacity to accept growth. It's true that some poor folks, clinging to a sense of nostalgia, refuse to let go of the toys of their youth e.g. reading comics. Perhaps you are one of those--afraid to admit that your wealth of experience affords you a broader perspective--afraid to move on.

I have pity for you. There are so many things to truly be frightened by, it's shameful that you fear yourself and your maturity. You could bve so much more if you'd allow yourself to become an adult.

Of course, being a child, you will deny all of this and come up with another pseudo-intillectual rant to mask your fear but it is plain and won't go away by wishing it. Dispelling the fear of adulthood begins by moving out of your mother's basement.

Wait, are you suggesting that by not having outgrown XKCD, one must be a child living in their mother's basement? You fanboys should sit down and get your story straight, I was under the impression that XKCD was "the most intelligent thing anyone will read today." Everyday.

"Of course, being a child, you will deny all of this..."

Hahahaha you're cute when you try to say that your arguments are untouchable.

The latest one just makes me sort of shudder. Why did he have to go with an OB-GYN? It could have at least been inoffensive if he'd gone with something that didn't involve making up up crap about the female anatomy.

Anon 7:32 Personally, I didn't smell poster grab. It seems like a logical way to present that information. If that breaks out of the standard panel style of comics, so be it.

Anon 6:24 I would like to point out that the Lord Of the Rings/12 Angry Men/Primer comic was called a poster cash grab on this blog, and it is not available as a poster. I suppose that means it could've just been an unsuccesful cash grab though. But still, it's not available.

Anon 7:19 Face it, dipshit, it could be a poster grab, it could not be. Stop trying to act like it definitely is. . . I just saying that he may have something to express that isn't best expressed in a standard* format. You're blinded by your hatred, which is a shame.

In fact I'm pretty sure at least two of those (if not three) are all the same person. And now they are the ones who look like idiots for not realizing that the comics were obvious poster grabs.

"Anon 6:24 I would like to point out that the Lord Of the Rings/12 Angry Men/Primer comic was called a poster cash grab on this blog, and it is not available as a poster. I suppose that means it could've just been an unsuccesful cash grab though. But still, it's not available."

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

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