Spoof news stories from Wednesday 25 July 2012

The eleven year old boy who boarded a flight to Rome unaccompanied after evading security and passport checks was inadvertently in charge of the United Nations yesterday.
Liam Corcoran appears to have been mistaken for UN Secretary General Ban Ki...

After he was resoundingly ridiculed in midseason when Tommy Heinsohn compared his shot blocks to legendary superstar Bill Russell, it was only a matter of time before Greg Stiemsma went west.
His hair reminded fans of Larry Bird, but blond Stiemsm...

Some people speculated that he was gay. Others assumed that the creepy Scientologists who were following Katie's every move finally got to her. But last night, Katie Holmes told Bob Costas that the real reason she was leaving Tom was because he "didn...

Daredevil Felix Baumgartner envisioned breaking several world records with his sky dive from 90,000 feet, including the first person to break the sound barrier outside of an aircraft; however after hitting a flock of seagulls, Baumgartner instead cla...

BILLINGSGATE POST - There's much more to Dr. Billingsgate's publishing phenom than just secret backroom assignations between a panting press and a president willing to use any device to satisfy himself and his red-shaded lovers.
For those who hope...

LOS ANGELES - Literally thousands of high school and college students are extremely upset at a statement that has just been issued by Mayor Antonio "El Hey Dude" Villaraigosa.
Speaking before hundreds of members of the news media Mayor V, as Linds...

London - "If we catch her sneaking in an illicit jam sandwich or surreptitious non-indigenous kebab inside that designer First Lady's rucksack of hers there'll be hell to pay for, mate," Olympic Games stewards insisted today as news of the controvers...

Scotland has decided to allow "Gay Gordon" to marry his male partner at last because the Scots have given their approval to gay marriages. This decision has deep reverberations for Scottish males who have always been regarded by the rest of the world...

The British Government is holding emergency talks with Argentina after the Argentine navy stole the Falkland Islands and moved it to within just 1 mile of the Argentine mainland.
The daring raid took place late last night under the cover of darkne...

An East Anglian man has been given the all clear by the High Court in London to eat his pet cat paving the way for more Britons to cook, fry, boil and roast their pets.
The landmark decision is seen as triumph for civil liberties claim many watche...

London - It's designed to be scrambled at a moment's notice and uses high-tech electronic wizardry not seen outside the Pentagon's International Space Station Olympic command centre.
This morning the existence of the CIA's secret mobile London HQ...

What's in a name? Doesn't the rose smell as sweet by any other name? So stated Shakespeare in one of his lucid moments about football antics.
In a sporting example, the rose is no sweetheart, but a number. The oft-maligned Chad Ochocinco (or was t...

A 6 year old has trialled several new prototype police cars, one of which will potentially be picked up by Australian police departments to use in their vehicle fleets.
The vehicles were fitted out with modern technology including mobile fingerpri...

An 11 year old boy who managed to evade passport control and security checks has smuggled himself on board a flight from Manchester to Rome.
Cabin crew became suspicious when the boy declined to purchase a £5 cup of coffee or an £8 sandwich.
W...

Britain was reeling from the shock news this weekend that Simon Cowell's bush is shaped like his head.
Topiarist to the stars Louie Spence said: "Yes it's true dahling, Simon asked me to shape his bush to look like his head. I was shocked at firs...

Chicago,IL-Efforts to go green at the nation's busiest airport have met with tragic results when a C-7 Cargo jet crashed on approach to O'Hare International Airport after the pilot was blinded by the reflection of sunlight off of a solar panel array...

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida - NASCAR first came into being in 1947, when it was organized by Bill France.
The auto racing giant now sanctions over 1,500 races in over 40 states including the countries of Switzerland, Cambodia, and Bolivia.
NASCAR Vi...

LAS VEGAS - Christina Aguilera recently won $173 at a Las Vegas casino slot machine. She reportedly told one of the other patrons that she felt that it was a sign that her bad luck was changing.
Aguilera said that ever since she flubbed the words...