Ho-Hos have got nothing to do with weight gain: Really?

As if simply getting older weren’t hard enough, new research shows that middle-aged and older women who have trouble falling or staying asleep may pack on more pounds than their well-rested contemporaries.

by Eric

That’s it! My love of chocolate, chicken katsu and all things fried has nothing to do with my bulging middle, and to the guy in college who said I was going to end up fat, or the other guy who said I should just stick my Twinkies straight to my thighs, I have one word for you: Ha!

Well, maybe I will end up fat, or a bit rounder than before. Maybe I won’t be able to maintain my slim waistline from youth, despite my routine workouts at the gym. But I feel so much better knowing that it’s not because I love fried foods or chocolate! Okay, okay. Maybe I’m reaching a little (a lot) here. And yes, I know there are other reasons we gain weight. But still, doesn’t it make you feel better knowing that your insomnia, and not your love of homemade cherry pie,is making you fat?

Hey, I’ve got an idea. Maybe I can skip work, you know, to get more sleep? Maybe if I took more naps I would look like Angelina Jolie or Thandie Newton? That’s it. If I could just sleep a bit more, I would be thinner. Smarter. And sexier. Yup. That’s it. Now … pass me another Twinkie!