WHO WE ARE

We are the guardians of the living room rug. The avengers of hallway carpeting. The brave souls willing to bite the crap out of any vacuum cleaner we see. We stand vigilant in the face of HEPA filters and self-retracting cords.

We are the Vacuum Cleaner Defense League.

While millions of lives are threatened daily, our work will never end. No one is safe until we say NO to clean floors.

Meet the Members

Milo, Elementary School Mascot

I will not hesitate to tear one of those suckers a new B-hole. PUN MOST DEFINITELY INTENDED.

Milo

Marlow, 10 pounds of Rage

If that thing gets any closer I will lose my shit. I ain’t even kidding.

Marlow

Xi-Xi, Living Room Search and Rescue

A lot of people are here for support. I get that. But that’s not me. I’m here to defeat those jerks. VOTE THOR! TAKE BACK THE FLOOR!