Your favourite clichés

“You’ll meet someone when you least expect it.” This, frankly bizarre, nugget of wisdom gets thrown at all single people. If you’re taking a shower alone at midnight in a locked bathroom, surely this might qualify as a ‘least expect it’ moment? Did my future bride bob up from the U-bend and declare her amorous intent? Sadly not.

“He’s hit it with his favoured left foot.” how many left feet does he have?

Yes, I hate that too. Do NZ politicians use it? In the UK, I think it’s an extension of the wilfully divisive skivers and strivers narrative. I wish more people would get on their bikes and read Bertrand Russell’s ‘In Praise of Idleness’.

I don’t know what the non-Scottish equivalent of this is, but it’s always riled me: ‘ What’s for ye’ll no go by ye’ (literally, if something is destined to go right for you it won’t pass you by). Grr. Stupid illogical belief in a cosmic plan.