Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Previously on Project Runway: The designers had to make costumes for WWE Divas. This of course was right up Chris’s alley, and he won. Chris not winning would have been like Kayne not winning the Miss America challenge. I think the best part of the episode was the trip to Spandex House. Ricky went home, and didn’t cry at all, which was very disappointing. I mean, he cried the rest of the time. So now there are 5 left, and I’d be excited to watch this episode, since there’s supposed to be a double elimination, but I know that all 5 designers were showing at Fashion Week. I guess there were 2 decoys. So…if the point of the show is to make it to Bryant Park, shouldn’t you schedule the episodes so you don’t need decoys and it’s actually a prize? Why do you always emphasize that the top 3 will have shows at Fashion Week when you’ve NEVER had just 3 designers? It’s like pretending this is a competition for the models when you have “special guest models” every other week. Maybe I am still cranky from stupid Andy Cohen. (click for more)Sweet P for some reason is surprised that Ricky was sent home. It was him or you, honey. Chris thinks everyone is freaking out but he’s ready to buckle down and get it done. Rami is talking about his dreams. (Kmanpat: “Of me?” Me: “No, dreams of the great career he wants.” Kmanpat: *pouts*) Jillian hopes it’s not a group challenge. Oo, would they do that this late?Heidi comes out for the obligatory “models, this is a competition too, even though there’s a 50/50 chance that you won’t be seen this week and no one remembers your names.” Heidi announces a double elimination this week, to go down to a “final 3“. Of course they have one last field trip and Heidi gives them directions. 5th Avenue and 82nd Street. Sweet P doesn’t know what’s over there, and they throw around some stuff, but they end up at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Oo, the new Greek and Roman galleries! Sorry, there was a sign and I was distracted. They walk through this gallery to get wherever they are going. It looks awesome. Everyone is suitably thrilled. Tim tells them that art is inspiration, and they will each pick a work of art to inspire a piece of their choice. Excellent. They of course have narrowed down the choices: the Greek and Roman sculpture gallery, European paintings, and the Temple of Dendur. Everyone gets a camera to take pictures.

Rami is of course snapping pictures of Greek and Roman sculptures and everything is draped. Blah. He picks a statue of Aphrodite. Christian picks out “Spanish military paintings” with jackets and phoofy collars. Chris is glad for actual clothing in the paintings. I smell period costumes. The Temple of Dendur is an Egyptian temple. Chris makes a joke about Joan Rivers, and then laughs at himself, only the room is empty and it echoes something fierce. Hee.

Back at Parsons, they have 1 hour to sketch and pick a piece of art. 30 minutes at Mood with $300, and two days. Christian is doing some Zorro-looking thing, he doesn’t want it to be “costumey” but “avant-garde” with giant sleeves you could hide a dog in. Sweet P has a painting of peacocks. Rami is not ashamed of doing draping again. You know what? For all that the judges have bugged Rami about draping all the time, they’ve never bugged Christian about puffy sleeves.

Time to work. Jillian has a picture of the Argonauts. She wants to be edgy and is looking at the armor. Chris talks to Christian, who’s like, oh the colors are pretty, but his tone says it sucks. Chris has a painting of some 18th century woman with a bow. No Egyptians? Rami thinks that everyone is trying to outdo each other with giant puffy things but he is not here to make noise. He’s here to do beautiful work. And drape.

Christian has a million pieces to his outfit. Everyone teases him, and his response is that he‘s fast and by now they should all be fast so that‘s on them. For some reason he feels the need to tell everyone that Jillian‘s been ironing for 3 hours. She responds that she‘s making pleats and he can shove it. Then she says she‘s self-conscious already so it would be nice if he would lay off. He’s like, “Ew, don’t get bitchy.” I‘m sorry, did he just say “ew” like a high schooler from 1984? He wasn’t even alive then! He announces to everyone that he’s not talking to Jillian anymore because he’s over it. I see, you’re over your need for bitchy remarks about other people? I’m sure Jillian is hurt you won’t be talking to her anymore.

In the morning we see that Chris has a high lopsided collar like he and Christian’s avant-garde dress. OK, it’s not as tall, but still. Sweet P asks for Jillian’s advice (she must have learned not to ask Christian) and tells us she needs to win because she’s broke and needs the money. I think she just jinxed herself. Tim sends the models in, minus Sweet P’s model who can’t come at all. That would freak me out too. Rami says his dress makes a strong statement. Christian says that Chris’s dress is costumey and he‘s a copier because it looks too much like their avant-garde look. Jillian is…using gold lame. I am worried. Tim asks everyone to gather ‘round (uh oh) but it’s just to let in Collier Strong. Watching him walk in I have two observations. Actually 3. One is that he is short next to Tim. 2: the man has a great ass. 3: I’m pretty sure I don’t shake my hips that much when I walk and I’m a girl. Makeup consults follow.

Chris finishes with 4 hours to go. Rami suggests he take a nap, so he thought that would be a good idea. Christian, who was just telling everyone how fast he was, slams Chris for quitting. “I’m done too, but I’m touching up” he says. Later we see him in the sewing room which I think is more than “touching up”. Christian name drops and talks about how awesome he is. Even though his jacket looks like every jacket he’s made ever.

Tim time! But first he has to go wake up Chris. Hee. Chris insists he’s done, and Tim demands proof. Immediately he says the design is not refined enough, but Chris refuses to change it. Tim gives up and leaves. Christian loves his outfit as always. Tim uses the word “obfuscation” and I love it. He thinks the jacket/capelet thing is hiding something. Then he wants to know where you would wear it. Where would you wear Chris’s thing? I mean, you can’t wear Christian’s either, but let’s be fair. Sweet P…has orange? She has orange, and purple and teal, and a print with those colors and a gold background. Those colors are not peacock colors. Tim doesn’t know where the model is, I guess she was supposed to come when she could. It’s not feathery, because rather than cut feather shaped pieces Sweet P just wants to use the print, which is not really that feathery. Jillian has another jacket, and gold top underneath. She gets no comments. Rami gets praise for his boring draping, but Tim knows Nina will be tired of it. Rami sounds like he’s blaming the producers: “I know, but you guys presented me with this challenge, and I had to take the Grecian draping” like they held a gun to his head or something. Finally with like 2 hours to go Sweet P’s model shows up. She’s still freaking out.

The day of the runway Christian is worried about his personal appearance. Maybe he’ll melt his hair with the flatiron. At Parson’s Sweet P freaks out because she still has a ton to do. Jillian hasn’t made the bottom of her dress. Let me repeat: half of her dress is not even cut yet. She doesn’t want to go back to work for someone else. Tim gives them 2 hours to work. He wants them to blow the judges’ socks off, if they were wearing socks. But the last challenge before the finale? They are always attacked for playing it safe. Sweet P’s model tries to send her calm. Jillian tells us that Christian’s dress = marshmallow. Chris loves his dress, so he’s not too upset that he might be eliminated, and he looks at it like winning the lottery: it’d be awesome, and it’s possible, but not guaranteed. The iron stops working and Jillian actually curses. She tries to steam the dress while it’s on the model who jumps about a foot in the air. Rami gives modeling tips. Sweet P’s model has feathers in her hair, but the dress has threads on the bottom that Chris points out. That was nice of him.

Commercials. This week the question is about whether or not you are tired of Rami’s draping. It’s not that I am tired of it, but that I can’t care enough about this question to pay the dollar it will cost me to text in my vote. (Kmanpat: “I think Rami should keep on draping. He can come over here and drape himself across my bed.”) Also, reunion next week. The one shining thing is that Tim and Heidi will run it and Andy will not be around. Please, Lord, no Andy.

Heidi greets everyone and pretends that two of them will not show collections at Fashion Week. Guest judge is Roberto Cavalli. Nice. I hate Heidi’s dress; she looks fat. Chris: beige plain dress and a huge collar in the same shade as the bow in the painting. I guess the dress isn‘t plain so much as I‘m expecting all those layers that were on the avant-garde dress and there aren‘t any. Christian has like 45 things and a hat. Pants, blouse with giant puffy sleeves, vest with puffy cap sleeves, capelet thing, hat. All black except the blouse is white. Rami has a lavender draped dress. I think it’s a bandeau top and the skirt is wrapped around her waist. Almost a sari but not quite. Sweet P: those aren’t peacock colors but in terms of being loud and showy it works. It’s a cute dress but it doesn’t say “peacock” to me and also it’s got weird side pockets that add all this volume. Other than the pockets it’s a simple shift dress. Jillian has a black jacket with a high collar, and a very short gold dress. The gold dress does kind of remind me of a Greek tunic so that kind of works.

Christian babbles about his different pieces. Roberto thinks Christian put love in his garment. Barf. Everyone loves the puffy sleeves and no one says anything about how he always does a jacket or a vest with puffy sleeves. Double barf. Roberto tells Chris his design is the most artistic and that he could show haute couture in Paris. Christian looks pained. They compare it to the avant-garde dress, and then they make up some BS about wanting to see something different. I’m sorry, but if you’re going to penalize people for doing the same thing every week, then you have to penalize EVERYONE. Nina likes Jillian’s dress. Everyone likes it. I am getting the feeling that the judges decided long ago who the final 3 would be. Now I am getting proof. Roberto loved Chris’s dress, but the other judges complain that they’ve seen it before. But they willfully ignore Puffy Sleeves. Kors says that Sweet P’s dress is show, the one that you put in the showroom to advertise. This is bad somehow. Roberto wants something more special? They want something else. Isn’t the point to start your own line? Which would involve things that the average woman would buy? Rami’s dress is boring and predictable. He tries to defend himself, that he doesn’t have to be loud. He wants to know why that’s a problem, and Nina is like, I have told you, I want to see more. Best listen to Nina.

Kors actually says that Jillian’s work is “impeccable”. What? Actually Heidi has a good point when she says that Jillian doesn’t have that much emotion but her clothes are like, pow! So that’s where all her emotion is. Then Kors says that Christian’s clothes could work in real life, but I think none of that outfit is wearable for the normal person. Maybe the hat. The clothes themselves work on a skinny model, or on himself, but they are going to be unflattering to the average woman. Roberto loved Chris’s the best. I am remembering that. They know he’ll put on a show. Rami won’t take risks. They want to see something else, blah blah. Everyone who thinks they’ll cut Rami raise your hand. Thought so.

Christian wins. Whatever. I’m over him. Jillian is in. Sweet P is out. In a very suspicious voiceover, Heidi says they believe in her talent and hate to see her go. It’s suspicious because they won’t show anyone’s mouth moving, which tells me that it’s possible they put it in later to pretend like they really feel that way. Sweet P seems like she’ll be OK. Heidi pretends it was difficult for the judges to choose between Chris and Rami. Chris is in. Wait. What? WHAT?!?! Then Heidi says that Rami is in too. COPOUT. Apparently they were deadlocked. She says they both get to make collections, but only one will be up for the show. When they get there, they’ll have to show the judges their 3 strongest looks and then they’ll kick one of them out. I should put quotes. Sweet P looks PISSED. I would be too. Well, she got to show anyway. I liked her, she always listened to Tim.

Next week: reunion time. People attack others. That always happens. Heidi and Tim talk about Victorya like she’s not there. Don’t take notes from Andy.

Man, for a moment there I thought they had actually cut Rami. Hey wait, no one played it safe! Cool!

2 comments:

I had to laugh at that, particularly after I went to the opera last night and saw something very similar to Christian's garment(s) on the stage! Chris', on the other hand, is the sort of thing you would see out front on opening night.

Loved your coverage. I agree with nearly everything you said. I, too, am WAY over "the brat". And I can't believe they are making us suffer through a re-onion instead of whisking us right up to the show. That silly reunion should be AFTER the fact, but whatever.

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About Me

I'm that annoying friend that always wants to talk all through the TV show, and you don't always get that mad because sometimes she's funnier than the actual show. Except that I won't drown out the dialogue.