I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another til i drop ... I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

Friday, March 23, 2001

I'm so tired. I'm bouncing off the walls. This isn't really a great feeling though. Its more like I'm just tired of everything. I could spend tonight reading Shadow of the Hegemon, listening to Loreena McKennit, and talking to Christa. But nooo I'm out being the social butterfly. To some extent. I'm going to a lock in with Ginny at her church. It sounds fun. For someone that wasn't PMSing, wasn't longing to be seperate from her everyday life. I'm sick and tired of climbing the social ladder. I try to rebel in every way I can, but still, I wore a skirt today, rolled it up (not a lot)_and enjoyed talking to all my "friends" during class. I'M SO SICK of everything. I need Smashing Pumpkins, and instead I'm getting laser tag. I need Orson Scott Card, but I'm settling for staying up late. WHY do people choose to live like this? Why do I choose to live like this? I suppose what spawned my not-so-sudden feelings of rebellion was the awesome conversation I had with Christa last night. They always seem to make me incredibly raptereous, then horribly sad that I have to go to school the next day and ruin the whole effect. I want to be able to have a whole day like that.....