General Dating Questions/Girlfriend or Now ex

QuestionQUESTION: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over 6 months now and all have been great from spending every moment we had together..she had been a great partner always there for me, we love each other, she later introduced me to all her family members and so did I. Now the problem started when she went abroad for further studies, we have maintained communication up to now but of late she of all the sudden started ignoring me, never answering my calls, taking long time to text back and when i asked why she has changed she said she has to deal with everyday but promised to work on it...I decided to relax but still see that she never changes..mostly when i go online i find she was probably online some minutes ago but still not a word from her..after a week I told how she was making me feel and she only replied that she doesn't want to deal with things that we have already talked about. Now i am really out of options cause i have done all i could and if this continues i see myself cheating on her but i don't want that..please help cause my mind cant handle this anymore.

ANSWER: Hi,

Your problem is all too common when couples start a long distance relationship. The best (and probably only) way to deal with this is to talk about it and maybe set aside some time for each other every week. You can fix appointments to talk when it suits both of you.

It is natural that since she went abroad for studies she must be having a hard time adjusting and finding time. you should try being supportive of her. Tell her that you would appreciate if she would try to write to you as often as she can. If she doesn't want to talk about your problems there isn't much you can do. Try to make her realize that since you are far apart you can only make the relationship work by talking and discussing your problems.

I hope this helps.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I remember i once was here asking on how i could find resolutions on my long distance relationship problems.
I have had a great relationship ever since i took your advice but things turned around so quickly all of a sudden.
It all started when I received a call from some girl who claimed to be my girlfriends old friend and that my girlfriend had been telling her about us and she just wanted to meet me for her self...I told my girlfriend about her and she accepted that they where friends..so i did met her and from time to time she(the friend) started calling me more often and started express feelings for me..
I did explain to my girl that your friend was saying bad things about you, because she started telling stories about other guys my girlfriend had dated before...of course i already knew about her whole past cause my girl had already told me when we just started courting...
then later on, on new years eve me and my friends went out to have some fun and i had a lot of drinks...on the same night i came across the same friend to my girlfriend and as we were talking she pulled me and kissed me in public...and before i could really understand what was going on, she pulled out and now every one thought i forced myself on here.
I called my girlfriend and explained to her what really happened so i could prove to her was type of friend she had,but she never believed me and thus called off our relationship...i gave her time hoping she just made her decision only because she was pissed...but later on when we talked and she explained to me that she never want to have anything to do with me.
I am confused i cant believe its over just because her friend kissed me and even by me being the first to tell her means nothing...

Should i just leave for i feel the girl just wanted an excuse to leave me...? please help..

AnswerHi,

You should get her to talk to you and try explaining to her calmly what really happened. If she trusts you she will believe you, but if she doesn't there is not much you can do. Its up to you to decide if you want to wait for her to cool down or if you want to leave.

Trust problems do crop up in a long distance relationship. Its really important that you truth each other to make it work. But if she doesn't truth you and wants to end your relationship you have to accept it and try to move on.

Expertise

I can answer basic questions about relationships like how to meet the right person, how to express your feelings, how to cope with long distance relationships. I cannot answers psychological issues. I believe that being a young person I can understand teenage issues much better.

Experience

I believe everyone has some experience about dating once they reach their 20s. I've had long distance relationships, gone through bad break-up, struggled through difficult times and learnt to accept others. I believe I have enough knowledge to understand other's problems and I am willing to help them.