Sunday, December 10, 2006

More on Motives

Jeri posted a comment about how when we judge someone else's motive it really allows us to react the way we want to react. There's a lot of truth to that statement. The reason I doubt someone else's motives is based on my feelings towards them.

Often times what appears to have taken place may simply be a misunderstanding. I know we could all come up with examples of people who really are just mean, but a vast majority of the time we seem to get hurt by those we thought were friends (which is why it hurts so much).

The reality is, we may simply have misunderstood them. The antidote to this disease is communication. When we preceive someone has done something to hurt us our first reaction should be - "Wait a minute, that doesn't seem like something they would do or say, I need to give them a call (or visit)." Too many of us get most of our exercise by "jumping to conclusions."

I'm the first to admit that I do not always communicate clearly, so there's a pretty good chance I don't always hear clearly. One of the best ways to avoid needing to attempt to judge someone else's motives is to reduce the amount of conflict to begin with by giving them the benefit of the doubt until you have a chance to make sure you really understand the situation (and that understanding comes from talking to them directly - not someone else).

By the way, if it seems like everybody is out to get you, maybe you need to evaluate your own motives and ability to communicate well. The real problem maybe staring back at you in the mirror. I don't mean this as a cut - I mean it to help you see the truth and make things better. And the reason I know this could be true, is beacuse I'm sometimes the guy in the mirror.