Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un

These last few days have been unreal. My ex-husband was recently killed in a car accident while on his way home from Taraweeh. (May Allah grant him the highest place in Jannah. Ameen.) Though he was my ex-husband we were still very good friends. His death has reminded me that none of us are promised tomorrow.

To be honest with you, I carry some guilt which I know is irrational. Just a couple weeks ago we had spoken and he was telling me he thought we should remarry. I told him it wasn’t a good idea. I keep thinking about how lonely he was living in his apartment by himself (he invited me to come over many times but I declined), his desire to have children (he felt he was getting old) and how much he missed our relationship. I feel guilty for being so stubborn…at minimum I could’ve been kinder to him even though I didn’t think getting back together was a good idea.

Here is the article:

A ‘trailblazer,’ crash victim was ‘coming into his own’

By ANTHONY LONETREE, Star Tribune

August 24, 2009

No one knows exactly where he was coming from early Sunday — perhaps a mosque or the food shelf where he volunteered — but Moussa Maayif definitely had his life together when it ended so tragically in St. Paul.

A native of Mauritania in northwestern Africa, Maayif, 39, had recently been promoted at Boston Scientific, his ex-wife said Monday, and was studying for an MBA at the University of St. Thomas.

Still, he yearned for more, Shahidah Siraaj said, recalling their last conversation a few weeks ago, “something even more spiritual.” He wanted to “give back,” she said, and he was doing so by volunteering for a nonprofit group, Building Blocks.

“I think I told him that he was really coming into his own,” Siraaj said.

But at 12:15 a.m. Sunday, at University Avenue and Vandalia Street, Maayif was killed — the victim of a crash so violent that his vehicle went airborne into a utility pole, shearing it at its foundation outside the Dubliner Pub, 2162 University Av.

On Monday, as the driver of the other vehicle, Jacqueline M. Wagner, 20, was charged with criminal vehicular homicide, Siraaj said she wants his story known: “I’d like to put a face to who he is,” she said.

Though they divorced in 2007 after three years of marriage, “we were still very much friends,” she said.

On Sunday, Wagner, of New Brighton, known as Jacqui to her family, was among several hundred people watching street racing in an industrial area near University Avenue and Transfer Road, police said.

According to the complaint filed Monday in Ramsey County District Court, a police officer arrived at the scene about 12:15 a.m., and in an effort to clear the parking lots, activated his emergency lights. Wagner sped off, the complaint said, and the officer followed, shining a spotlight on her Honda Civic as she drove on Ellis Avenue — parallel to University Avenue — at more than 60 miles per hour. At Ellis Avenue and Vandalia Street, about one-third of a mile north of University Avenue, Wagner took a hard left, again at nearly twice the speed limit, and passed other vehicles by driving south in the northbound lanes, the complaint said.

For a moment, after she shifted into the proper lane on Vandalia Street, the officer thought that she might stop. Instead, Wagner allegedly sped up again, ran a red light and then struck Maayif’s vehicle, which was headed east on University Avenue.

Wagner was taken to Regions Hospital in St. Paul for treatment of minor injuries. There, police suspected she might be under the influence of drugs. A blood sample was sent to the state Bureau of Criminal Apprehension for analysis.

Jacqui’s father, Paul Wagner, has described his daughter as a “very good kid” who was devastated by what happened.

She is scheduled to make her first court appearance today.

Siraaj said she was at work when she learned that her mother, whom Maayif had listed as a contact, had been called by the medical examiner’s office. Then, the ex-wife said, she saw the news images of the shattered utility pole, and the mug shot of the suspect.

Now, Siraaj said, she thinks of his family. Maayif, one of 12 children, was “the trailblazer” who came to America on his own, and who continued to support his family financially, Siraaj said. He was a good man, she said, and she wants to make sure “he doesn’t end up like a ‘John Doe.'”

i know i already commented on FB, but i want to say again how sorry i am for you and your families. May Allah ease your hearts, and grant him an expanded grave and a high place in Jannah. i know that every parent thinks their child is “good” and that the situation must be painful in its own way for Wagner’s family, but i think her father’s quote was rather heartless or that the paper could have done a better job quoting him more fully if he had something more appropriate to say. i think by your putting the “human face” to your ex, and speaking of him so highly despite divorce, you are doing a dawah, inshaAllah, and also honoring him. May Allah reward you and extend His mercy upon you.

Inna ilaihi wa inna illaihi rajiun. Sorry for your loss. Its good to know that he was doing good deeds before his death. I have an ex and I would be upset too..more so as he is a non-muslim. May Allah forgive him and grant him paradise. Amin.

assalaamu alaykum. i also commented on fb, but i just wanted to reiterate how sorry i am about your loss. i can’t fathom how difficult this must be for you, his family and other loved ones, and for your local muslim community in general. i am so sad reading about this. may Allah give patience to everyone whose life was touched by this brother. and may Allah grant him paradise. ameen.

My husband is Mauritanian and knew of people who knew him – as they say. He was well liked and respected and known for his charity. It is all over the Mauritanian news. It was good of you to make sure people knew who he was too.

JM– I am so sorry for your loss. Insha~allah Allah(swt) will forgive you both of your short commings in this life. Alhumdulilliah he passed during this most BLESSED month. Insha~allah his fast will be acepted and his sins forgiven.
I will truely make dua for not only you but his family. One of 12…wow. Insha~allah he will say we ALL prayed for him on the day of Yawma Qiyam.
ma salaama
Umm Amirah

As salaamu alaikum sister — may Allah grant you comfort and ease. I am sorry for your sadness and extend my condolences. I also pray that Allah SWT grants him a high station in Paradise, ameen ameen ameen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Allah al must’aan! Myhe be spared the suffering of the grave and be in highest paridise subhanAllah we just don’t know how long we are meant to be in this dunniyyah. What a blessing to have your soul taken in the month of Ramandan and on the way back from prayers subhanAllah! May Allah give sabr to you and his loved ones ameen!