The Accidental Bootycall

Dear Yeti, I have really messed up with this guy I like. I may have turned myself into a booty call in the eyes of a great guy. I'd like to keep my options open and don't want to be seen simply as a late-night hook-up. Here's the story.

We met at a bar after he came into my tattoo shop. I really liked him and I think he felt the same. We exchanged numbers but I didn't hear from him for the typical week or two. He invited me to a few parties. I'd stop by at the end of the night (after going out with my girlfriends) and have a drink or two and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Nothing serious. Then he invited me to his b-day bash and once again I showed up late, but not as late this time.

Well, That's when it started. We couldn't keep our hands off each other! We headed for his bedroom and didn't leave til the next day. He called the following week to see how I was. He made a few attempts asking me to meet him for a beer or come hang out. But every time he called I already had plans with my girls. So I would tell him I'd call when we got done. Well somehow I turned this great guy into a late night call. a booty call. It's not exactly what I wanted but I am not sure if I wanted to jump into a relationship either. How can I just as easily and casually get it back to the regular playing field? I would love to get out of this booty call slump before it is what we become to each other. But I don't want to stop having sex with him either.

What can I do? Another Booty Call

Dear ABC,

BBBooooty Call! Really? You missed his whole birthday party by bar hopping with all your friends, pop in late night to drop off his “present.” You’re really worried that he thinks you’re a booty call? You’ve got to be kidding me. If anything he is the booty call.

First off, a booty call for a girl is probably the worst proposition in the dating scene. If you were his booty call you would be writing me about how this guy strikes out at last call with all the “local talent” and comes throwing rocks at your window come 3:00 in the morning. That’s a booty call, and it’s not exactly romantic.

You didn’t want or are not yet emotionally available for a real relationship with this guy or you would have done several of these things differently: blown off your friends instead, arrived on time for his birthday party, etc. I think you have to ask yourself why haven’t you guys gone to a movie or met for coffee? Is it his fault or yours? He has been calling you to see if you’re available.

I think you have been testing this guy out slowly or trying him on and you’ve come to the conclusion that he’s a good fit. Now you want to rewind the tape before these late night hook-ups are all you have.

It sounds to me like you have this guy right where you want him. Just make sure you are clear with him that it’s time to do some real dating. He may resist a little as he has been getting the milk for free. You are a great physical match and know enough about him that still interests you. I’m sure he feels the same. If you wanna eventually put this guy in ink, you are going to have to set some boundaries. Try seeing him during the day, and cutting off the sex cold turkey is a must at least until you see the attitude of your relationship changing.

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WOW…. IF you don’t want to be the late night booty call then stop acting like one. If he doesn’t respect your bounderies then he doesn’t respect you. If that turns out to be the case drop him like a virus. If he does then great but remember at any given time just because you can knock boots doesn’t mean you have too.

No women should have to deal with men like that we in the country are grown up to have respect for women and we stick to there limits no matter how much it kills us. If only people didnt look at all women like they are sluts

What you can do is stop playing games and acting like a slut who doesn’t want to be used for sex. You either want to be a booty call and continue having sex, or you want to stop having sex and just be friends. Stop bull shitting the yourself and make a decision. It’s really quite simple when ya think about it. Have a nice day.

Simple solution. The next time he calls and you have plans SUGGEST AN ALTERNATE NIGHT! Remember he is pursuing you so all is def not lost. Make it clear that you have been a fool. Tell him “I’ve been silly” and start to date. You don’t have to cut sex, but try actually being with each other for an hour or three first. It might make it better.