How many Danielic late-daters does it take to change a light bulb?They absolutely refuse to do it. They realized that no matter how good a job they did, someone, somewhere, sometime later would assert they they didnt do it at all (in spite of all their hard work)--and that the story of them changing the light bulb was a later literary fiction, made to look like ancient history. They realized that no matter what kind of bulb they used (e.g., flourescent, incandescent, energy-saving, UV, sunlamp) someone would argue that there was no evidence that that kind of bulb was used in that apartment complex at that time...and that therefore the story must be historically false...So, they refused to do it and walked out...man, am I glad the apartment builders weren't that smart!--i'd be sleeping in the rain...

How many Danielic late-daters does it take to change a light bulb?Not sure we will ever know. They are hesitating about taking the job. They expressed worry that someone might later take their description of the work they performed, and make it look like a prophecy that they were going to do it (and the invoice would look like they pre-charged for the services, which is illegal in our locale...a sort of invoicium pre eventu).

How many Danielic late-daters does it take to change a light bulb?I can't get them to take my request seriously. I called them up last week (after trying unsuccessfuly for years to get the people described below to do it!) They asked me how long it had been in need of repair, and I told them six years (since I started the ThinkTank), and they said 'impossible'. They said that the only evidence they had that it was burned out was from my phone call (then in progress), so that today's date was the only one they could use in determining when the bulb was actually burned out. And, since it had apparently only been burned out for a few minutes (according to their 'logic'), they would have to prioritize their repairs on the basis of more urgent outages at other residences. I honestly TRIED to explain about how it apparently burned out when the resident was on vacation, and that they didnt discover it for months later (the light is in the corner of the attic), and that they didn't even report it for months later (when they finally needed the light), and that I had called (unsuccessfully) many other people before them, and that their firm's name only appeared in the last edition of the phone book, etc...but they refused to allow any of this to make them re-date their 'it only burned out today' estimate...But at least I'm in their datebook now, so maybe, in a couple of years...

How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?Unfortunately, I cannot get them to act. I show them the Maintenance Request Form, from the tenant, requesting the change, but they dismiss it as being a 'pious fraud' created by big and powerful lightbulb companies who think bulbs should be replaced BEFORE they burn out...

How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?I still cannot get them to take the Request Form seriously! This time they decided that it could not be authentic since the request had come from the new apartment 10A and there were no prior incidences of this at all. They concluded that someone must have borrowed the form from some OTHER apartment, and simply put the request "on the lips of the tenant in 10A"...

How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?I still cannot get them to act! This time they dismissed the darkness as a 'late apocalyptic image' that obviously was being appropriated to describe something much less severe, like indigestion or something.

How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?I still cannot get them to act! This time they said that there PROBABLY had been some flicker in a bulb somewhere (or maybe a diming of light from a cloud passing overhead), but that the oral tradition behind the Maintenance Request Form had developed so freely that it was now historically impossible to find the actual apartment in which the problem PERHAPS showed up, and that we could not even be sure that it had occured in THIS landlord's tenure.

How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?I still cannot get them to take the Maintenance Request Form seriously! This time they detected a 'contradiction' that was a sure sign of inauthenticity. They summarily dismissed the Form with the remark that "If the light bulb had been burned out, the tenant would not have been able to see to fill out the Form, silly! And arguing that they went into another room would be 'special pleading' or 'harmonization' of the most tendentious nature!"...go figure...

Internationally, the big story is the Olympic games, which begin under a cloud of controversy when journalists in Beijing, who were promised unfettered Internet access by the Chinese government, discover that no matter what address they enter into their browsers, they wind up on Chairman Mao's Facebook page (he has 1.3 billion friends). But even the critics are blown away by the spectacular opening ceremony, which features the entire population of Asia performing the Electric Slide.

The games themselves are dominated by swimmer Michael Phelps, who wins eight gold medals, thus putting himself on a sounder financial footing than the U.S. Treasury. China wins the gold-medal count, although critics charge that some of China's 11-year-old female gymnasts are under the minimum age of 16. Chinese officials refute this charge by noting, correctly, that they have tanks.

Elsewhere abroad, war breaks out between Russia and Georgia over South Ossetia and Abkhazia, serving as a stark reminder that, in an increasingly uncertain world, we, as Americans, have no idea where these places are.

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