BECKY BENES: Die while you are still alive

SAN ANGELO, Texas - Imagine Tracy, a chubby and awkward girl who is teased and laughed at on a continuous basis from the kids at school. She dreams of being a TV star but even her mom discourages her to protect her baby from the pain of disappointment and ridicule. Despite it all, she takes the risk, skips school and tries out for the part in a national TV dance show.

With unbelievable courage, Tracy steps into the audition. She is mocked and teased by the other cast members and kicked out because she is fat. This does not deter her, she stays true to her dream and uses her creative mind to come up with a plan. As her plan unfolds, it is as if the Universe rises up to meet her and clear the way for her to succeed. All the right people show up at just the right moment and, as if by magic, she becomes an overnight success. She breaks through the stereotypes, that you have to be skinny and "beautiful" to succeed.

In Scripture we find that God goes before us, paving the way for our success, but we have to move forward in faith despite our fears and doubts.

Tracy soon wants to honor the "black kids" who helped her learn the dancing moves that made her a star. She wants them included in the show. This might not be an issue today, but in 1960, this was shocking. Just the mention of integration would mean an end to her newfound fame.

Will she do it? Will she risk it all — her dreams, her fame, her livelihood and her new boyfriend — and stand up for the people she grew to love, the ones who made her dream possible?

This question is what I think is the practical daily interpretation of John 15:13, "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends."

Often, this Scripture is interpreted literally to mean we must physically die as Jesus did. However, the poet Rumi suggests that "We need to learn to die while we are alive."

How do we lay down our lives for a friend?

For me, this means dying to my ego, putting aside my agenda for the good of others. It is living with and facing consequences of my actions, which take courage and strength.

For Tracy — who, by the way, is the lead character of "Hairspray," the San Angelo Broadway Academy's latest production — she was willing to die while she was alive. She was willing to lay down her fame, her success and her love in order to stand up for what was right and just, to make a stand that all people deserve the right to be loved, cherished, seen and honored.

How do I do this in my life?

Definitely not perfectly but I attempt to do it when:

I take a stand for my friends of different faiths, races and cultures and work to give them a voice and a venue to be heard, seen, and loved.

I treat all people with dignity and respect as Jesus modeled.

I volunteer at the soup kitchen and sit and eat with the patrons, engage them in conversation and listen to their stories.

I stop what I am doing, lay aside my agenda and my wants to take time to listen to my kids, to give them a hug, to meet their needs or wants.

I lay down my plans and the time line of my dreams to give others a helping hand.

I surrender to God's will in my life and become obedient to my inner knowing, the call to serve the higher good of humanity.

I seek God first and practice daily mediation and prayer.

I do the right thing even if "it kills me."

I face fear and doubt.

I own and use my gifts and talents fully.

These are just some things that I attempt to do as a daily practice and that I reach for as a goal to achieve and to become more Christlike.

Each time I get out of myself for another, I am humbled and feel reborn and renewed. You would think this would motivate me to do it always, but it's not that easy.

The good news is that we get a new day every 24 hours to try again.

So maybe we can die while we are alive and experience new birth. Perhaps we don't have to wait for our physical death.

It's something to consider.

Coming up

I will be holding a workshop, "How to Charge What You are Worth and Get It!," from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Thursday, June 7. Cost is $397. Go to BeckyJBenes.com or call 325-949-1450 to register and for more information.

Becky Benes, a resident of San Angelo, is a certified business and life coach. Her column appears on the second and fourth Saturday of the month. For more information, go to BeckyJBenes.com.