Monday, February 20, 2006

The Sunday LA Times CALENDAR section ran a big article on the lack of great parts for women in features. It maintains that studios are reluctant to cast women in romantic comedy parts that shoulder the burden of comedy or make them appear unlikable. I can speak first hand that this is unfortunately true. A few years ago I thought it would be fun to write a balls-out R-rated comedy where the woman was the star. It’s always a man. Will Ferrell, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Robin Williams, Rob Schneider (God help me). Why can’t a beautiful actress like Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon, even Julia Roberts be the comic star? So I wrote the movie, I DREAM OF GINA, about an agoraphobic (Jimmy Fallon type) with a million neuroses who worships this goddess from afar, only to meet her and discover she is the wildest, raunchiest, most out-there girl on the planet. She winds up dragging him to Paris where adventures and hilarity ensues.

The screenplay was very well received. Several major producers wanted to be attached. I hooked up with one, developed it further with him, and when it was submitted to the studios they all passed saying, “we can’t cast it” and “she’s not likeable.”

With Lucy and Carole Lombard as my witnesses, I swear there’s no reason why women shouldn’t be given the chance to prove they’re just as funny or funnier than men.

******

Below is a sample of I DREAM OF GINA if you’re curious. Gina has just coaxed Hank (who has a fear of heights) to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

***** EXT. EIFFEL TOWER - DAY

The elevator rises to the top platform.

EXT. EIFFEL TOWER - OBSERVATION DECK - MOMENTS LATER

The elevator door opens and a throng of PEOPLE disembark, Gina first. Last off is a rather green Hank.

GINAAtta boy. You were very brave. Mama's gonna give you a hummer. (then) So let's check out Paree. Would love to hock a loogie off this thing.

She crosses to the railing and spits through the fence.

GINA(calling)That's for the six cylinder Peugot!

Hank takes baby steps to join her. He peers over the side.The entire city appears to be in miniature.

HANKOh God.

Hank gets a real blast of vertigo. He clutches the railing for support then begins sliding to the ground.

GINAY'know, I'm guessing you're one of those "therapy is for other people" kind of guys.

HANK(covering)It's okay. I'm fine. Just a little dehydrated. I could use some water.

GINAYou got it.

She quickly crosses to a French SECURITY GUARD.

GINAExcuse me, is there a drinking fountain up here?

The guard gestures that he doesn't understand.

GINAWhat? You don't speak English? (he looks at her blankly)How could you not speak English? Who do you think comes to the top of the fucking Eiffel Tower?

HANK(from the railing)Uh...Gina. That's okay.

GINA(to guard)How many people from Hooterville do you think speak French? This man needs Perrier.

HANKNot anymore. Really.

GINA(to guard)Here's two English words you better learn --(enunciating slowly)Ep-cot Cen-ter. (then) 'Cause that's where we'll all be motherfucker.

Hank tries to get up but just can't.

HANKDon't need the water. See? Look. I'm great.

The security guard calls for assistance.

GINAWhat, you're going to call for help? Over this? God, that is so France. Well fine. I don't give a shit. Call your whole fucking army.

Two more SECURITY GUARDS join him.

GINAYou don't scare me. (taunting) ACHTUNG!

They begin shouting in French. She responds with a torrent of profanity.

HANKRemember when I said my fantasy girl in Paris was Audrey Hepburn? Audrey Hepburn never said motherfucker.

Gina is really into it now. A SMALL CROWD begins to gather. The shouting escalates. Finally:

SECURITY GUARDThat is it! We workers are now on strike! Stop the elevator!

Carole Lombard (whose vocabulary was known to include a few of those choice words you used) just read that excerpt and wants to come back.

Seriously, this would have been great for Tea Leoni a few years ago, or even Kate Hudson if she lost her inhibitions. Of course, neither are sure-fire bankable as comedic leads (as opposed to supporting the male lead), and I can't see Julia Roberts or Reese Witherspoon wanting to do this type of vehicle.

I think the problem is that women don't generaly like to see women be rude and crude. Crude humor is much more entertaining to men. But women are the core audience of a romantic comedy.

Also Ken it's my understanding that studios in general have a fear of the R rated comedy. Or at least they did before Wedding Crashers. If you wrote this a few years ago maybe you should try putting it out again under a different name?

Jenny McCarthy must have been tied up (probably literally) when you were passing this one around. Quick -- have your people call her people -- I'm sure she'd be interested (assuming she'll want her people to untie her)...

Ken: "ACHTUNG" and "Audrey Hepburn never said motherfucker"...I pretty much did a spit take.

Although I haven't seen them, I was going to comment that SWEETEST THING and ALONG CAME POLLY. With what I've read about it, I think the latter's success can be attributed to Ben Stiller and a good supporting cast, with Aniston along for the ride. And I know many people were surprised by how poorly SWEETEST THING performed.

As for McCarthy...well, looks like making a movie with your husband can ruin your marriage.

The SWEETEST THING and ALONG CAME POLLY were bad movies (and came out after I had written my spec). It's not fair to lay all the blame on the actresses or to say because of those movies you shouldn't try again. In mine I do redeem the character and Hank becomes a better, healthier, and happier person as a result of her. But comedy is subversive. Comedy is edgy. Sometimes even abrasive. And it's all about perception. You could say Vince Vaughn was hilarious in WEDDING CRASHERS or that he was a giant asshole. (I personally thought he gave one of the great comic performances of recent times).

Maybe it's not my movie but I still believe that if given the right vehicle, the right woman can be a breakout COMEDY star. Move over Will Ferrell.

This is genius – great writing – and I agree Sarah Silverman would be perfect for the role. She could completely play the loogie-hocking type with a vengance and all those suitors out there will attest that she can well fit into the shoes of the Worship Me goddess.

I'd gander that she's definitely looking for a more mainstream vehicle after Jesus is Magic. I say send get the script to her agent. Studios may argue the role is too hard to cast, but if you have someone like her behind it – now that she's much more established than she was a few years ago – you might have better luck with the studio heads.

"Along Came Polly" wasn't anything like the dialogue from "I Dream of Gina." And as much as I'd like to blame Jennifer Aniston, that movie was just ass bad.

I actually saw Cameron Diaz as I was reading the dialogue, but I think mannerism is in a lot of her work now. Of course Sarah Silverman is hilarious and can say or do anything and get away with it, she's be great...

It all goes back to what men want to see in their women, I suppose. I'm not a man, but Jenny Macarthy makes me uncomfortable.

I think there's a similar problem with women in action roles. Studios keep trying to churn out stories about angry badass women, but that's just not what men want to see. Ripley was badass in Alien, but she was also scared shitless. Catwoman, Elektra, Aeon Flux, Ultraviolet - they're all just really pissed off and not much else. Men just don't like women who scare them.

I don't like Sarah Silverman for this because she already has a rep as a pottymouth, and there's a kind of knowingness about her that doesn't make a contrast between the sedate look and the uninhibited reality. You said yourself that you wanted Carole Lombard, not Eve Arden.

I think Jennifer Aniston would be perfect for this. Imagine that cute face saying "Mama's gonna give you a hummer." And she could be credibly straight-laced in the early part where the curtain is closed and the Wild Side is hidden.

I'm willing to send a $10 check to buy a ticket if you think that would help.

I agree that you want somebody against type, not Silverman. My pick for Hollywood's best untapped sexy comedienne? Sarah Michelle Gellar. And she's ready to break. This is the script she needs. Love this blog, by the way.

My initial idea was to play against type...assuming that the actress can pull off the comedy. My feeling is someone like Julia Roberts would either think this would be a hoot to play or NO WAY. Sarah Silverman is still unknown enough by the general public that she could suck the audience in early on to think she's an ethereal goddess. But she has the chops to pull off the comedy. Unlike Angelina Jolie who just can't play funny.

I don't think Jennifer Aniston has the edge needed but I wouldn't "kick her out of bed" as the saying goes.

I agree, whaledawg. Many of those women are good examples of chaacter. They're also not pent up balls of rage. That was my point. The women nobody wants to see are angry. A good female action character is more than that.

About KEN LEVINE

Named one of the BEST 25 BLOGS OF 2011 by TIME Magazine. Ken Levine is an Emmy winning writer/director/producer/major league baseball announcer. In a career that has spanned over 30 years Ken has worked on MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER, THE SIMPSONS, WINGS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, BECKER, DHARMA & GREG, and has co-created his own series including ALMOST PERFECT starring Nancy Travis. He and his partner wrote the feature VOLUNTEERS. Ken has also been the radio/TV play-by-play voice of the Baltimore Orioles, Seattle Mariners, San Diego Padres. and has hosted Dodger Talk on the Dodger Radio Network.

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