Nelson Mandela’s life can challenge and inspire us all. Let’s take it to a new level. Mandela opposed apartheid. He supported the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. The time is now! Transform Rockford needs “Truth and Reconciliation.” Many people need to publicly grieve the ongoing tragedies of inequity, the separation, the polarization, the poverty and the violence that weaken all of us. We need to hold ourselves accountable.

As Mike Schablaske, ambassador for Transform Rockford, says we need to call each other out and be willing to be called out. That takes courage. I’ll give it a try, challenging us all to a different level of “nonviolent civil disobedience.”

The way it’s usually practiced may result in a night in jail (and a lifetime of bragging rights.) That’s disobedience against laws — rules. Of course, “Rules are meant to be broken.”

I’m challenging you, the reader, to practice a DIFFERENT kind of nonviolent civil disobedience to transform Rockford. Rather than a law, let’s all violate a norm, working to CHANGE the norm. Norms are NOT meant to be broken. No one will arrest you but ...

Inspired by Mandela, I challenge all of us to violate the norm of apartheid. I use the word “apartheid” for its shock value. After all, we practiced divestment to force South Africa to abandon apartheid. And yet in our personal lives and most of our civic lives, virtually everyone practices apartheid every day. We don’t even think about it! Look around — all the time — in meetings, at church, social gatherings, neighborhoods — everywhere except perhaps on the job or a few truly integrated schools, neighborhoods or churches.

No “people of color” OR no “Caucasians.” Apartheid. We don’t even think about it. I urge you: stand up. Call us all out on the apartheid we’re practicing. Ask everyone to look around and notice. Violate the norm. Invite others to join you. Then figure out how to carry it off. Just saying “everyone’s welcome” won’t cut it!

Although you won’t be arrested, it’s hard! Eric Holder called us a nation of cowards. But it IS really hard. When black and white people get together and really speak the honest truth, there’s often a lot of judgment, anger and defensiveness. We speak and hear each other in ways that offend and alienate us from one another. So we avoid it. It’s uncomfortable facing the lack of equity, the white privilege, separation and discrimination that persist.

And yet when we speak and listen for feelings and needs rather than judgment, and when we listen with our hearts, amazing things can happen. It often requires training — learning “compassionate communication” — to really listen for feelings and needs rather than judgments.

I have a suggestion:

Right now, mark your calendars: March 26-29. WPC 15 in Madison, Wis. Two thousand people, 40 percent people of color; 200 workshops. It will change your life and prepare you to violate the norm of apartheid. After all, the norm at WPC is joyful integration. Call 719-255-4766 or go to whiteprivilegeconference.com, Facebook “got privilege?” and Twitter: @got_privilege?

Harlan Johnson is a community therapist and president of “Come Together Rockford.”