11.11.07

Government seeks to redefine privacy

WASHINGTON – A top intelligence official says it is time people in the United States changed their definition of privacy.

Privacy no longer can mean anonymity, says Donald Kerr, a deputy director of national intelligence. Instead, it should mean that government and businesses properly safeguards people’s private communications and financial information. MORE

“I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.” –GW Bush, Washington, D.C. June 18, 2002

Political language — and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists — is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. –George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”, 1946

So war is peace, truth is lies, and ‘privacy’ is when the government is listening in and approves of what you’re thinking, right?

OK, so I was going to entitle this “The 50 Dumbest Things George W. Bush Has Ever Said”, like the original from which I am excerpting. But it occurred to me on reading it again that in fact, it’s really only the opinion of the author that these are the dumbest things he’s said. I’ve heard so many dumb things that didn’t make the list…

Unfortunately the literature of dumb things Bush has said is too vast to even make a dent in it with something less than a “500 of the dumbest things…” or “5000 of the dumbest things…” list. And lifetime achievement? 50,000 dumbest things? 500,000? If I started a list and allowed people to contribute, how long would the list grow to? And what really whacky quotes have been lost to posterity because nobody could figure out what he meant when attempting to link that noun and verb?

It’s really sad and embarrassing for our country that we have a President who continually spews nonsense from his mouth, whether or not people are listening. He should find this humiliating, but regardless of how many of us are laughing at him, he cannot, as he has no shame.

But laugh we must. Not only is it a matter of making lemonade with the lemons life allocates us, but hey, in times like this we need to laugh. Besides, god wouldn’t given us idiots like the President to laugh at if we weren’t supposed to laugh. If there is a god, then the current administration is god’s gift to comedy writers and bloggers with absurdist streaks, like me.

So, on to a few favorites of mine on the list:

47. “I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” –Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

44. “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” –interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

40. “Oh, no, we’re not going to have any casualties.” –discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson in 2003, as quoted by Robertson

11.05.07

Bush Gives Musharraf Tips on Eliminating Democracy

In what he described as “an emergency mission to help a key ally in the war on terror,” President George W. Bush flew to Islamabad today to give General Pervez Musharraf tips on how to eliminate democracy.

Mr. Bush said he scheduled the trip just hours after General Musharraf declared a state of emergency in Pakistan and suspended elections “because when it comes to eliminating democracy, I thought my friend Pervez could benefit from my experience.”

Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One, Mr. Bush said that while he commended General Musharraf’s impulse to eliminate democratic institutions, he felt that the military strongman was going about it the wrong way: “When you’re getting rid of democracy, the last thing you want to do is tell people you’re doing it.”

11.04.07

Maybe you can’t tell if your website sucks. This seems to be a common issue nowadays.

Of course, back in the old days, people with no design talent channeled their efforts into paint-by-numbers kits, or made clothes for their kids that made their kids sick dreading what was going to happen when their friends saw what their mom made them wear.

Nowadays, everybody’s convinced they can be their own designer, and for people who have acquired a copy of FrontPage or have put together a MySpace profile, the the irresistable draw of having your own Real Website—becoming a Designer—obliterates what little common sense they may have ever had.

Don’t get upset at me. I just have specific standards. I can’t help it. A website should help the viewer find information. It should not hurt your eyes or ears. It should download quickly. The navigation should be intuitive. Text should be readable.

The viewer should not be asking himself, “Huh?” or “Why did they do that?”. The only sites that use MySpace graphics should be on MySpace or in the business of supplying graphics to MySpace users.

So to see if your website sucks, and in what way it might suck, just follow this handy-dandy little flow chart. Click the graphic to visit a full-sized version in its native habitat.