A twenty-something French girl in America. Advice on love, life, dating, money and more.

Tag: money

Hurray! It’s your first ever payday with a Sugar Daddy! You’re completely new to this, and having over 2k in hand is more than you could ever imagine. Sugar Daddy number one is definitely generous with his cash, but where do you go from here? How do you put all this money away?

Hello girls! I’ve been trying to play catch up with some of the questions I have received these past few months on my tumblr. I’ve stopped doing Q&A Wednesday, because it was too much to keep up with, plus harder to find on the blog. Plus, I really don’t have the energy to post much due to depression. Remember, I have sugar baby allowance guide if you haven’t read it already. These are not ALL the questions I’ve received, but these are the ones directed towards money.

I keep managing to attract new sugar daddies and me being a new sugar baby myself isn’t easy. The pressure is king of put on me to work out the details. I know the man is supposed to bring up the allowance however they keep asking me what I want. I don’t want to go to low or to high. Any advice?

Ask for what you feel is reasonable, and it varies for each person and each city. If you lived in a small town in Nevada, you probably wont be needing $1,000. However, L.A.? That may seem completely reasonable. If you feel uncomfortable asking for “too much”, maybe you could explain what you need money for. (School, rent, debt, etc)

Hi Elsy, do you have to pay tax on the gifts that your sugar daddies give you?

Do you have to? No. I’ll be writing a more elaborate post on this soon.

Am in first official sd/sb relationship. he married, fine w/me. we agreed to a price b4 the first meeting. worked out well. lg story short I asked for xtra money (very hard travel expense and pet sitter. he gave that but next time, down to original price. he could not see me, offered to put money in my account (1/2 of orig/arrang). still could not meet. ask for deposit. (after he said he was sorry could not meet and he would make it up 2 me. how can i get raise w/o risk losing relationship

I’m not really sure what your whole post says exactly. It’s quite hard for me to tell what is really going on. From how it sounds, you made an arrangement with a guy, asked for extra for travel expensive for the first meeting, but he couldn’t see you the next time you were supposed to meet (so I’m guessing it’s a pay per meeting? not monthly?) but he still gave you 1/2, and he could not meet again, so you asked for a deposit and now you want a raise?????

I have heard of sugar daddies not paying their SB’s if they don’t see them, and I’m confused about why you’d want a raise after (as it seems) you’ve only been with your SD one time.

Should I lie about my needs? I can live on what I’m making (not lavishly). I live in Texas which is a less expensive city…however…I know this sugar baby gig won’t last for long, and I’d like to put some money away or invest for the future.

You could. That’s a personal preferance I’d guess. Some men just like to pamper ladies, so you’ll accept the “I just want to be spoiled” answer. A lot of sugar babies will exaggerate their needs however.

Should I say I’m a student even if I’m not for more $$$?

You could. But some SDs like verification of you ACTUALLY being a student. 🙂

My SD isn’t really giving me the amount I want, and I’m wondering if I’m asking for to much or not enough. He’s offered to take care of me, take me shopping, get my hair done, but no cash (which is what I need) I think he wants me to be the only one…I can’t put all my eggs in one basket like that. It would cause me too much anxiety. How should I approach the subject? I don’t want to come off greedy and lose him, I really like him.

Perhaps you could bring up the fact that, although you love how much he pampers you, you really need to pay X over getting your hair done. Some sugar babies are able to say “I’d rather just take the money, thanks.” Did you not work out this arrangement first? It’s better to judt be upfront about your needs vs. being passive over them and hoping for the best.

I’ve been wanting to post this for awhile after receiving a couple of alarming questions in regards to sugar daddies asking for very personal details. This is, in my opinion, much too important for Q&A Wednesday (Which, BTW, all the Q&A I missed last week will be posted this week. Remember to ask your questions! (: )

Are you giving away your identity? Not “are you getting it stolen” but actually giving it away? I recently received an email from a reader that was along the lines of: “My POT SD asked for my SS#, Drivers license #, Routing # because he wants to put me on his tax return.” This, surprisingly was almost identical to another message I received stating the same thing with only a few details changed. My response was along the lines of “RUN!”

It’s easy — very easy — to get wrapped up in the thought of playing house. Only, the house is yours, someone pays for everything, and you have your independence. When a pot. SD offers promises of trips, travel, shopping and money. Greed, or even financial need can step in. It can be tempting, mouth watering even, when you have a man offering you $5,000, a paid apartment, and a monthly shopping trip. I always live by the rule “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is…” Which is why when Obj. asked me to move in with him, I was cautious and careful.

I did a little bit of research on Sugar Baby identity theft, or sugar baby identity stolen, to see if I could point these girls in the right direction… but disturbingly, nothing really came up.

I always personally knew to never give away these valuable pieces of information, but honestly, I never knew 100% why. I knew they were personable to only myself, and that people can do damage with only things you should know, but did I know the exact reason? Not at all. Sugar daddies should never ask for those pieces of information. License numbers and routing numbers do NOT need to go on a tax return. Sugar daddies that are asking this are more than likely con men. Please don’t allow these “sugar daddies” to con you!

So, after doing some research, here are some of the reasons giving these seemingly innocent snippets of info can be detrimental. Especially if you give them ALL together!

Social Security Number and your Sugar Daddy:

A dishonest person who has your Social Security number can use it to get other personal information about you. Identity thieves can use your number and your good credit to apply for more credit in your name. Then, they use the credit cards and do not pay the bills. You may not find out that someone is using your number until you are turned down for credit or you begin to get calls from unknown creditors demanding payment for items you never bought .- Social Security Online

More reading determined that if anyone steals your SS# your credit, any financial stability you do have can be completely messed up. Think about it a sugar daddy offers you a large monthly allowance, but, little do you know, this is all being given on your own credit card.

“Ok Elsy, but this is for his tax return, and I really don’t think he’d do that. He seems so genuine.” Okay, fine. That leads me to

Bank Routing / Account number and your Sugar Daddy:

First of all, there’s the ease of committing fraud with checks. A thief with a stolen check (or deposit slip) has all they need to take money from your account — the routing number and account number (found at the bottom of the check in MICR letters.) Note that the thief doesn’t need any kind of ID… or a PIN… or a physical card… or a CCv2 code… or even to know your name. No, the numbers will do. What can they do with a stolen check? There are three basic things:

Order up a whole book of checks with your information and account numbers on them. No ID is required to order checkbooks online. They can then spend these checks anywhere, and the bank will process them — you probably won’t find out until your account is empty and you start getting NSF notices.

Remove the amount and recipient from the check and write it out to themselves instead. This is a bigger problem for institutional checks, which are often printed on a laser printer. It’s really easy to remove laser-printed text from an offset-printed check — just lay some Scotch tape over the laser text, rub it hard with your fingernail, and peel the text off. Then you can print out a new amount and recipient with your own laser printer, and it looks just like the real thing. Chemical agents (“check washing”) can do this with ball-point pen ink, too, though it’s not so easy.

Issue a demand draft (“paperless check.”) This is what happens when you pay by phone with your checking account number, or use an automated bill pay service, or send money via PayPal. Using your routing number and account number, money is simply removed from your account and put into someone else’s. No authorization or authentication is used, your name is not even required. Yes, really. Anyone can do this from any account to any other account. For a while, you used to be able to do this from a web site. – PerimeterGrid

If your POT. SD tells you he wants to wire money too you. CALL YOUR BANK! Don’t take what they say as the truth and always double check.! A sugar daddy who knows your routing and account number can again spend money on you at your expense. You’re practically giving away your identity! If he wants to give you money, again, check with your bank, or even let HIM write a check to YOU.

Elsy, I still don’t believe you! He just wants to give me money! Okay… Then what about

Drivers License and your Sugar Daddy:

“One of today’s most recognized forms of identification, your driver’s license – with its photo – is used as a proof of identity for cashing checks, boarding an airplane, proving your age. In some states, your social security number may still be used as your driver’s license number. Your date of birth, another important piece of personal information, also appears on your license. In a thief’s hands, this document can provide vital information and, with the photo altered, can pass a cursory examination and serve as someone else’s identification. Your state department of motor vehicles may have further information for you on identity theft. “ –Better Business Bureau

“Identity theft is the unlawful use of an individual’s personal identification information. Identity thieves steal information such as your name, social security number, driver’s license information, or bank and credit card accounts and use the information to establish credit, make purchases, apply for loans or even seek employment.” – Office of Attorny General

It’s already bad enough when someone steals just one piece of that information, but all of it at once could be detrimental. Girls, PROTECT YOURSELVES AND BE SMART! Do your research!

Evaluate your options when dealing with allowances! A couple of SB’s I know are dedicated to keeping monthly allowances. However their SD’s are set on a per meeting arrangement. Girls, evaluate and look at your options. For example, if he is meeting you 4 times a month and giving you an allowance of 500-700, then I’d take that over the monthly allowance. There is the chance you could be seeing him more than 4 times a month, and the possibility that the per visit allowance could be raised over time! Add on an extra 50 each time, that’s an extra 200… 75? 300, and so fourth. Be open minded and smart!

However, be careful with these arrangements at the same time. If a SD is saying he will pay you 600 per meeting for four times a month, but decides to only see you two times instead, you need to either get a monthly arrangement set up or find a new SD!

“Elsy, can you help me? I’ve been financially dependent on my sugar daddy for awhile now and he’s starting to be extremely controlling. I feel like I’m begging for each cent I get and I’m so tired of it. I know you’re busy and have other things to post but pls help me.”

For some woman, being financially dependent is inevitable. SB’s end up with debt, or maybe they lose their jobs and have nothing else to support themselves. It’s a horrible situation to be in, and trust me, I’ve been there too. You feel dependent and alone, scared and trapped. Maybe your Sugar Daddy isn’t the best of guys, and you’ve been wanting to get out of the situation for a long time. What are you going to do now?

Again, I’ve been in the same situation. Living in Manhattan with school books, bills, an apartment that I could barely afford and I had just lost my job, I felt like I was drowning. At that time, Objection was my only Sugar Daddy and my allowance was a lot lower… I was extremely dependent on him for survival. I was too scared to turn to my parents for help in fear they would send me back home to Paris, and my search for a job was yielding nothing.

What was I to do? How did I even start the process of being financially independent?

I’ve recently received a message asking for help. A woman asked me what she needed to do now, as she had spent money that she didn’t really have, and put in time and effort with nothing to show for it. This is a common problem that quite a few sugar babes don’t know how to handle.

First of all, did he pay you on the first date? If not. Let him go immediately. If they don’t want to thank you for your time, they probably never will. Sugar daddies should always give you gifts or pay you on the first date. It’s only polite to do so. Usually the amount will be anywhere from 200-800. Less than 200 if he’s cheap, more than 800 if he’s generous.

If he has paid you, but hasn’t discussed the allowance yet, then bring it up. Ask him if this is an arrangement he wants to pursue. If so, the SD will usually give you two options. Monthly or per visit arrangement. He may even decide one for you. Voice your opinion though. If nothing has been arranged, it needs to be. You can be classy when bringing this up. “X, we’ve been seeing each other for awhile now, and I was wondering if we would work out an arrangement. I would like a monthly allowance/per visit amount. The amount is negotiable / I would like FIXEDPRICEHERE. If you have a problem with this amount, we could maybe arrange something else.”

Don’t be afraid to use your voice. A man likes a strong woman. Not a dog.

If he has arranged payment, but isn’t giving it too you, you could ask what day of each month he will be paying you. For example, my ‘main’ SD, Objection, pays me the first time he sees me each month. For this month, it’s later tonight. If he is out of time, he either sends it via bank transfer or pays me in advance. We worked this out early on in the relationship… If you have a date arranged and he doesn’t pay up. Again… Drop him! He isn’t worth it.

If money is a huge issue, then get more than one sugar daddy. I have three, verging on four, and I’m still online meeting men. Living in New York is expensive, and on top of that is school, and everything else.

Don’t spend money you don’t have, and when you do get your monetary gift when meeting a SD, if you must, put that toward your appearance. (If you can.) If you’re really hurting for cash, say so in your profile. Try not to sound desperate. “I’m a young professional barely making it in this recession.” These men want to spoil you, they don’t want you pre-spoilt! Recycle dresses, recycle shoes. Mix and match.

Remember that above all, you want to be a respectable young woman. Use good English, be appropriate, and treat yourself with respect. If you respect yourself, these men will too. Don’t act like an escort, don’t act like a prostitute, because these men are looking for proper ladies.