Capri’s actual due date was January 28 - my Dad’s birthday. I think he was excited at the thought of sharing his birthday with this new grand baby. I TOLD everyone her due date was February 1. I wanted to push it out a little because I dread as your due date is approaching and everyone starts calling and texting asking if the baby is here yet!

I really wanted this to be a natural birth. I spent the last few months of my pregnancy reading all I could about natural births and hypnobirthing. I read about how we are the only mammal that looks at childbirth as being painful. Have you ever watched a dog, or cow give birth? There is no sense of pain in their experience at all. However, dogs and cows DO know what pain is. They are just able to relax their bodies and do exactly what nature had intended for them to do. I was certain that I could do that exact same thing and allow my body to do what it was built to do. I meditated, practiced breathing techniques, and continued to exercise right up to the end of my pregnancy. I researched essential oils and which oils could be helpful in all aspects of labor - before, during and after.

We had a doctors appointment the morning of the 27th and decided to do a membrane sweep to see if we could get things moving along for some personal reasons and things we had going on at the time. The doctor told me to try and stay active throughout the day to help keep things moving as well. I was so anxious to get things going and ended up walking about 5 miles total on the treadmill, and we also made a family trip to Walmart to let Everly look through the toy section! Throughout dinner time I started having very light contractions about 10 minutes apart pretty consistently, but not at all painful. My inlaws made the trip up to spend the night since we were fairly sure the baby would be coming soon and we had someone to be with Everly. We went to bed that night hoping they would not see us when they woke up in the morning.

Around 2am I woke up to contractions that were painful enough that I couldn’t fall back asleep, but that I was breathing through completely fine without being too uncomfortable. From 2-3 I timed my contractions being about 5 minutes apart and lasting for about a minute each. I was certain it was pre labor and if we went to the hospital I would just get sent home. Looking back, I’m not sure why I thought that! Maybe because my contractions with Everly leading up to labor were much more painful and intense. But with Everly, my water had broke (which can tend to make contractions more painful), and I also hadn’t practiced any breathing techniques or really prepared myself for labor at all. Around 3am, I woke up Mike and told him we should probably head to the hospital. He showered and we were at the hospital and in our room by 4am.

After monitoring my contractions and the baby’s heartbeat for a bit, I was finally able to get into the tub around 5am. My hospital had tubs in every room that you could get into to labor which I had heard could be helpful for getting through contractions. As I got into the tub, the nurse made sure we had everything we needed and said to let her know if I felt an urge to push at all. I was only about 5cm dilated as I got in the tub, so I assumed I would labor there for a bit. I sat on my knees in the tub and put my head down on my forearms through the first contraction. It was a tough one to get through, so I repositioned myself to my back. As I got through the next contraction, at the very end of it, I felt my body do the smallest push. We decided to call the nurse to let her know.

The nurse was in the bathroom almost immediately after we had called and said to get out! As I was standing in the bathroom, Mike and the nurse were drying me off and another contraction came on. This one was extremely intense and I could feel my body pushing throughout the entire contraction. I had completely lost control of my body and it was taking over and doing exactly what it was supposed to. The nurse instructed me to stop pushing and I told her I couldn’t. She looked at Mike with a little bit of a worried look and said to him “we need to get her in the bed.” I sensed her urgency and took one glance at the bed and got myself in the bed and onto my back. About 30 seconds later another contraction came on strong and my body once again took over and started pushing on its own. The nurses instructed me to breathe through it and it would help my body to stop pushing. I did my best.

I looked up and my Doctor was rushing in. She took one look at me and said “this baby is coming on the next contraction.” The nurses were frantically changing sheets and blankets and setting everything up for this baby’s arrival. I looked to Mike and he had a look of shock, amazement, excitement, and overwhelming emotion on his face. Next thing I knew the contraction had started and everyone was cheering me on to push. Seconds later the pressure was gone and I could see my baby! She was placed on my stomach immediately and Mike came right up to be by our side.

TRUTH: natural birth was not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. To be real, the worst part was after labor when the nurses would push down on my stomach to be sure everything had come out and they continued to push to get all of the blood out. If we have a third baby, will I do it again? Absolutely!!!

ESSENTIAL OILS: I had all my oils packed I wanted before we left for the hospital. As soon as contractions started, I would apply Clary Sage to the bottom part of my belly (this can help contractions progress). As soon as we got to the hospital, I had Clary Sage and Patchoulli diffusing in the room. It’s a very earthy, grounding combination that I knew I wanted. Each time I diffuse this now it takes me right back to Capri’s birth. I diffused White Angelica for he remainder of the time I was in the hospital. It’s my absolute FAVORITE scent and reminds me of angels. I used Claraderm spray “down there” a few times a day to help the healing process begin. It’s a blend of oils that help reinvigorate skin and relieve irritation. I brought along another fav - the tranquil roller. But, decided against using it because the first few days with my new babe I just decided I didn’t want any oils directly on my skin. Any skin to skin bonding time we had, I wanted her to spend getting to know me and my scent with no distractions. I have no idea if this is a thing, or even something that can happen....just what made sense to me in my situation and what I was looking for!

For more info on oils or if you’re interested in getting started using them, check out the oils tab!

If you've been following along our story about loss, and then our redemption story, you know we've gone through quite the journey to get where we are. Also, if you're one of those people who gets pregnant from kissing your husband, let me tell you - you're lucky. I was that person with my first pregnancy. And I'm sure I shared more than once "we got pregnant the first month we tried!" So, if that's your story, be kind and mindful of what others might be going through. For some reason, that was not our story when trying for number two. I wanted to share a little bit about what we did leading up to our pregnancy. If you are struggling with fertility at all, I've been there. I know the late nights laying in bed and the google searches you grab and punch into your phone at 1am...

"how to get pregnant"

"early pregnancy signs"

"earliest I can test for pregnancy"

"late ovulation"

"fertility prayers"

"best sex positions to get pregnant"

And this is just the beginning. These searches ranged from sensible questions to absolute ludacrous ones. These questions are completely normal. I also want to say to go ahead and google away! I know every doctor out there will tell you to stay off google. Not me (who do you trust, me or a doctor...haha!). The internet is FULL of stories, support, facts and myths. I am actually the one who discovered what might be going on with me. Through GOOGLE.

After my second miscarriage, I saw a fertility doctor who did the standard checklist. My husband and I were tested for everything. No abnormalities. I was put on a progesterone insert because "some women who miscarry do so because of a lack of progesterone." While on a progesterone insert, you need to take ovulation tests so that you can start the insert within the proper timing after ovulation. I noticed I was ovulating around day 21 or 22 and still getting my period around day 28.

After many google searches, I discovered "short luteal phase." I didn't even KNOW what a luteal phase was before this. In short, I figured out that I was ovulating around day 21 and was still getting my period on day 28. The time between ovulation and menstruation is called your luteal phase. A short luteal phase (10 days or less), is one cause of infertility. If you do become pregnant, a short luteal phase can result in early miscarriage. To sustain a healthy pregnancy, the uterine lining must be thick enough for an embryo to attach and develop into a baby. Without enough progesterone, your uterine lining may shed before a fertilized egg implants on the uterus. I was certain I had discovered exactly what the issue was.

At the time, I was angry.

Why was I finding this out? Why hadn't my DOCTOR figured this out?! After more research, and more google searches, I came to the conclusion that fertility is a tricky thing. Unfortunately, it can be a big game of trial and error. There's no one solution that works on everyone. I was put on Clomid for four months. In short, Clomid is a drug that is used commonly for women with PCOS to force them to ovulate. In my case, we tried to use Clomid to force me to ovulate when I was supposed to, rather than later in my cycle. Fail.

After my months on Clomid, I had another appointment to meet with my doctor. We had one last thing we would try before he recommended IVF. BUT, my insurance didn't cover IVF. So began my internal struggle about whether I spend the money out of pocket to TRY IVF, or, do I just consider starting the process of adoption? The next month I was set up with my prescription to try a different drug. I had the prescription in hand, which was basically a lesser form of Clomid that I forget the name of now. I waited for my period to come. And waited. And waited.

It wasn't until my period was about 2 weeks late that I finally decided to take a test. Positive. DARK positive. I was in absolute shock.

So, what finally worked?

The short answer is, I have no idea. I don't have an answer on "how to get pregnant" if you are struggling with fertility. But what I can tell you is some of the steps I took in my journey. When you're struggling with fertility, a lot of times you feel as though things are out of your hands. That feeling didn't settle well with me. I did SO much research and did everything I could to be sure if there WAS something I was able to do that would help out my chances, that I was doing it.

Figure out when you are ovulating. This is one of THE MOST important things. I have read stories of women trying for a year before they go to a fertility doctor only to find out they weren't ovulating at all! Or in my case, I had three miscarriages and was on progesterone suppositories for four months before I figured out I was ovulating late and had a short luteal phase. Ovulation kits are cheap. Go on amazon and buy a 50 pack. You don't need the expensive ones.

Keep a healthy diet. I read a lot about foods that can help with your fertility. I ultimately decided to try a Whole30 to reset my body and fill it with whole, good foods. I LOVED this diet. It helped me realize what types of food my body might not respond the best to, and also gave me an arsenal of healthy meals to turn to when cooking at home. Even now, I stick to a "whole" diet about 80% of the time. If I'm out to eat, or craving a sweet treat, I'll give myself a little grace and allow it. However, for the most part we stick to "whole" meals in our home.

Toss the toxins. The average woman applies over 300 chemicals daily to her body through four types of products: makeup, hair care, skin care and soap. And that doesn't include the chemicals we are exposed to through products such as air fresheners, candles, cleaning products, and laundry products. Do a favor for yourself, your hormones, and the environment you put yourself in. Toss the toxins. Another plus, I had so much fun learning about toxins in our home and replacing them with natural alternatives. I experimented with lots of DIY's at home and finding ways to make things knowing exactly what I was putting into them. I did most of this using essential oils, and simple products you can purchase off amazon or at your local grocery store.

Essential oils are used for SO much more than making your house smell good, and can offer support for your immune system, hormones, respiratory system, emotions, and more. I initially found so many oils that helped get me through the emotional struggles of miscarriages. A few favorites were Stress Away, Frankincense, Joy, White Angelica and Peace & Calming. I also did a lot of research on the effects of essential oils on your hormones (since mine were clearly off with my luteal phase being off). I used Clary Sage for the first half of the month to support estrogen levels, then used Progessense Plus for the second half of the month to support progesterone levels. I also used Endoflex daily to help support the Endocrine system, which is made up of a number of hormones and related glands, including your ovaries. Ideally, your hormones and glands work together to keep your reproductive system in top health. The Essential Oils Pocket Reference is a great place to get information regarding essential oils and their uses.

If you're interested in getting started with oils, you can click on the OILS tab of my page for more information. I always recommend getting started with the Premium Starter Kit. It includes 11 oils, a diffuser, and a few other little samples. The oils that come in the kit are everything you need to get started and cover a little bit of everything. And once you do get pregnant, those 11 oils will help combat everything in your pregnancy from morning sickness to stretch marks!

To purchase your kit, click on OILS and PURCHASE OILS. One of the greatest parts of Young Living is the community that you'll get plugged into. We have Facebook groups full of users on our team where you can get testimonies, ask any questions you have, and get daily tips and information on oils. Plus, I'll be here to help with anything you need along the way as well!

And of course, please reach out if you are struggling with fertility, have any questions, or even just need a friend to talk to about what you're going through! Sharing my story it helped me to heal and get through some of my struggles.

If you're reading this, you probably also read my post about heartache & baby loss. I wanted so badly to end it with exciting news. Little did I know, I was actually pregnant at the time I was pouring my heart out about what we had gone through. I am still in shock as I write this today, almost 13 weeks pregnant now. Our redemption story. Our rainbow baby.

For the past 2 and a half years, I have watched bellies grow, deliveries happen, families grow, and celebrations happen.

Our little family has stood still. We have a daughter who is now 4 and a half and will have just turned 5 when this baby arrives. It is never what I imagined for our family, but somehow it now seems perfect. It was always you. I had imagined my babies closer in age. Every time someone told me how much help my daughter would be once I did get pregnant, I would cringe. I don’t want her to help. I wanted her to be a kid. And have a sibling. And do the things that siblings close in age do. Play together, fight, learn how to share. Things have definitely not been the easiest on us, but as we begin this journey out of the fog, I can look back and say I get it now.

Pregnancy after loss is complicated.

While my first pregnancy was carefree and exciting, so far this pregnancy has been anything but. As mentioned in my post about Heartache and Baby Loss, I had been going to a fertility clinic for a little over a year. Once I learned I was pregnant, I was able to get internal ultrasounds at 6, 8, and 10 weeks before I was released to my regular OB for a 12 week appointment. At 6 weeks, we were able to see a heartbeat! Exciting, yes. But a part of me was terrified we wouldn't make it to the next appointment. The same thing happened at the 8 week appointment. We saw a heartbeat, the baby was growing, but I was terrified yet again our next appointment would never come. Thankfully, we made it to our 12 week appointment where everything looked perfect.

Aside from waiting for each appointment, daily things that occur that are normal pregnancy signs somehow seem extremely stressful. Every time I go to the bathroom, I’m terrified there will be a spot of blood. Each time I get a little cramp, I think the worst. I also had a few weeks of feeling a little nauseous and tired. In those weeks, if I happened to have a day that I felt great and didn’t need to take a nap, I thought for sure something was wrong. My symptoms were gone. I was losing the baby.

Continue holding onto hope.

I ended my post about Heartache and Baby Loss this exact same way. The greatest tool I have found to get through (especially the first trimester) is hope. Things are out of your hands. Rub lotion on your belly, take your prenatal vitamins, and take care of yourself and your body. That’s all you need to do. I kept my positive pregnancy test in my bathroom to look at each morning and remind myself there is a baby in there, and to keep a positive attitude that things would turn out exactly as they are supposed to.