Entry #8 – I couldn’t finish it.

I have this other blog entry that I’ve been working on for more than a week now and I just couldn’t finish it. I’m halfway there though, but I just couldn’t finish writing it without crying. I am greatly affected by that entry post that every time I try and type the next few lines, tears will start falling.

You know that feeling where you sometimes try to avoid a certain thing or a certain event because you know that it will make you feel emotional.. And as the days pass, with so much avoidance to that emotion, you kind of feel as if you’re carrying something heavy and it now affects the things that you do, and how you talk to people; sort of like you’re starting to feel depressed. As for me I try to avoid it most of the times because mainly, I don’t want to cry. The reason for that is I don’t have anyone to share my stories with or I don’t have anyone to listen to me; I don’t have an outlet. But going back to the writing part of my entry, Yes, it helps. But with so much emotion going on inside, I just end up crying the whole time rather than write what I want to say. It sucks though, not being able to tell someone how you feel, not being able to tell anyone that you have this kind of thing going on and it makes you feel sad, and not being able to tell yourself that things like these will pass. I’m just not that strong.

So yeah, I just really hope that I finish that blog entry soon and without crying (too much). *sigh*

Not that I know what you’re going through I do have a piece of advise. You may think that you can’t talk to anyone and that you’re alone but there is always an outlet, you should find another source. Pick up things to do. It really depends on the person but if it were me I would go to the gym, do some DIY’s. Make yourself feel accomplished and that even though that part of your life may suck you can still be happy in other ways. I know you think that you aren’t strong but you are and I know because you wrote about it and put your setting on public. You are strong and you’ve got this! And as for crying…. I say cry, cry when you feel weak,sad or even accomplished because in the end it will make you stronger. You will get your life back together and feel okay again.