~ …just baby and toddler talk

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My entry for the Wells Fargo Works contest has been accepted! In it, I share my big idea for a childbirth class specifically for survivors of intimate partner violence and/or sexual assault and my “secret mission” to train women from around the country to deliver this important program in their own community.

So, mom, tell me when your kids girls are old enough to read, will you have a conversation about sexualization of women in our world today or are you hoping to avoid that topic all together? Perhaps best to ignore it, given the message of the vanity plate on your minivan.

Here’s the thing, mom, when you value “hotness” over smarts, athletic ability, common sense or kindness, you’re not only contributing to an already over-sexualized culture but you’re teaching your girls the same thing. They learn from you. They imitate you. Your vanity plate teaches your girls that their hotness is the only thing that matters.

Moms, dads wake the fuck up! Your kids are SMART. They may be small (or not) but they are still humans who get it. Jesper Juul says that “very small children (even!) actually study us in order to read our feelings before expressing themselves.” (1) If small children are looking at us to understand what’s going on emotionally, you better believe that they get what they see we do too. Perhaps they can’t articulate what they see but make no mistake that they see it.

Being a parent takes my breath away often because it is so hard. And I just have one child. So I get some of the challenges but you signed up for this lifelong job but get on it. Be a better rolemodel. Teach with intention, not by default. Your kids deserve it.