It seems like as many men start to mature in relationships, they are looking for the benefits of being married without the responsibility. They want a woman they can come home to, show signs of respect for and a woman who is always there for them. These men essentially want "wifey" but not a wife. They are focused on having what I like to call, a "permanent girlfriend."

They don't want to feel obligated to committing to one woman. I think in their minds, they are more comfortable cheating on a woman when she's just a girlfriend and not a wife. They also don't like the idea of a woman owning half of everything they have if the relationship goes sour. If she's just a girlfriend, they don't have to worry about that. Yet, they want this woman to play the role of a wife because they realize that they actually want to commit to one woman.

I appreciate the growth of these men but it is unacceptable. They're looking for a one-sided marriage that will never be official. They know women live to get married so they build a life of marriage for these women without the obligations. Women are willing to overlook the fact that a marriage is probably never going to happen because they feel like they are married. Some women have been engaged for several years, live with this kind of man and have a few kids by this man but are not married. They are anticipating on getting married but it seems like it's never going to happen.

I know it's hard not to give in to the hope of getting married with someone you've built a strong relationship with but if you are not happy being a permanent girlfriend, then you need to change your situation. Do not allow these men to set you up for such a relationship. It can be tempting when this man provides for you monetarily, he seems to be faithful and when you're deeply in love. However, you need to step back and evaluate what you desire vs what you deserve.

All of us deserve and desire to marry a man who truly loves us but we also deserve and desire to be happy. Sometimes in this situation, we fulfill our desire for happiness but our deserved love is unfulfilled. Our desire for love is so strong that we end up falling in love with lust. In your pursuit of happiness, figure out what is more valuable to you (although fulfilling both at the same time is preferable). Is it what you deserve or what you desire?