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After Danny’s (Chris Messina) priest, Father Francis (Jack Wallace), dies during his confession, Danny’s forced to deal with the new, even more hardcore priest. I guess the news that Mindy (Mindy Kaling), Danny’s “live-in girlfriend” was too much for his little heart to handle.

Stephen Colbert plays Father Michael O’Donnell, who used to live in Danny’s neighborhood in Staten Island and was the worst kid around. Since then, he’s committed to turning the church around and making sure no sins, no matter how small, are committed. If he thinks the previous priest was too lenient, then Danny and Mindy are screwed when they confess to him.

When Danny meets up with the new priest after mass, he can’t bring himself to admit to him that Mindy is pregnant. Instead, he tells him that he and Mindy are co-habitating together before marriage. The priest doesn’t even take this that well, but at least it’s not the alternative. Danny even goes so far to say that Mindy’s Catholic, so that the priest will like her.

Mindy doesn’t find out that he’s done this until she text Father O’Donnell to invite him to dinner that night. How can he turn down dinner from a good Catholic woman?

Now Mindy must act the part as the dutiful Catholic, so she enlists Morgan (Ike Barinholtz) to help her. As the dinner goes on, she texts him questions and he looks up the answers to them, like Bible verses from the Old Testament. They finish the dinner in peace, but it all goes to hell when Father O’Donnell heads to the restroom. Mindy forgot to take the condoms out of the medicine cabinet and he’s totally going to find them because who doesn’t snoop?

Mindy and Danny sneak into the restroom, while the priest’s doing his business and successfully take the condoms out. They could probably be very cool spies if Mindy doesn’t get distracted by her reflection in the mirror all the time.

After dinner, they play Scrabble and start talking about Danny’s “ex-girlfriend” who also happened to be a “godless sex maniac.” Father O’Donnell heard a rumor about it and wants to clear up the air. The “ex-girlfriend” they’re talking about is, in reality, Mindy. As Mindy starts to defend her, Danny tries to break up the tension by moving to another topic, but also let’s it slip that it meant nothing to him. It’s not like he was going to marry her or something. Oof. Mindy takes this as her cue to leave.

Nearing the end to his visit, Danny brings up his laptop, which contains his son’s sonogram as the screensaver, to look up some ferry times for him. Father O’Donnell assumes it’s one of his patients’, but Danny chooses this moment to come clean. Luckily, Mindy also overhears this from the bedroom window and also hears Danny admitting that he doesn’t feel guilty about what’s happened. At all. There’s no need to confess something that makes him happier than anything else in his life.

Despite this, the priest still wants to excommunicate him, but Mindy comes to his rescue. First, he needs to chill, and second, she wants to raise her son as a Catholic.

Notes

“How dare you insult my unborn son’s first tasteful nudes.” I still love that Mindy’s intent on hoping her “son” might actually identify as a girl so she can win.

“You’re screwed. I’m Hindu. I’m like immortal or something.” – Mindy

“Are you my 1 Twitter follower? It is great to meet you @1DirectionBot.” – Mindy to Father O’Donnell

Mindy’s selfie with the nuns! I’m going to need that picture.

I still miss Peter, but I’m liking that Mindy’s going to Jeremy for advice now.

“The New Testament? There’s a sequel to the Bible and not to Gone Girl?” – Mindy

I’d need to watch Eve on “The Real Housewives of Eden.”

“Use ‘nom nom nom’ in a sentence.” “I wasn’t hungry, I saw that corndog and was like nomnomnomnom.” – Mindy, you are so great.