Ronald Gold Just Hasn’t Met the Right Woman

I’m going to say again: those of us with queer genders who aren’t trans seem to have a beam in our own eye on this one. We just don’t get it, over & over & over again. No, female & male personalities don’t exist. But male & female people DO — wither social construction & all.

It’d be laughable for a man who actively resisted being pathologized to turn around & pathologize others if it weren’t awful. Shame on you, Ronald Gold. You should know better than to distrust the narratives of people who are a minority & misunderstood, but perhaps you’ve forgotten you are one, too.

So Mr. Gold, try to dust off your brain & remember when people told you that you just hadn’t met the right woman, because the argument you make concerning trans people is about as uninformed, inexperienced & myopic. & I say that with utmost respect for what you’ve achieved.

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4 Comments

Well….I’ve met quite a few clueless straight men, so why not a clueless gay one? He’s so cavalier about the idea of “Hey, if you want to wear a dress, go ahead!”
Right.
The Gay community is full of the same stupid social codes as the so-called straight world.
He’s an instant self-parody.

Editors’ Note: All posts published on Bilerico Project do not reflect the opinions of nor any endorsement by the Editorial Team. Many Bilerico readers and contributors have found Ronald Gold’s op-ed offensive or needlessly coarse. The idea behind Bilerico Project is to encourage dialogue among different facets of the LGBT community that might normally never interact this intimately. We encourage all readers to continue responding to Mr. Gold in the same spirit his post was written – with positive intent while bluntly stating your own opinion and experiences.

What is transgender? Well, there are two sorts who seem to be covered by the name, the drag kings and queens so good at portraying cartoon imitations of straight people, and transsexuals, the folks who report that from an early age they’ve felt themselves trapped in the wrong bodies. Despite the equipment they were born with that belies their assertions, they say they are really men or really women.

What does it mean to be really a man or a woman? Since it’s not about genitalia, it must be about personality, and what, one asks, is a male or a female personality? Even straight people nowadays concede that some men are the warm, loving type that used to be thought exclusive to women, and some women are the strong, action-oriented sort that used to be thought exclusive to men. And lesbians and gay men have always known that people of the same gender can be very different from each other. Isn’t it true that those we form mated relationships with are always complementary – even polar opposites – to ourselves?

Let me state it categorically. There is no such thing as a male or female personality. Personality is not a function of gender.

So where does that put the concept of transgender? In my view, down the tubes! And that leaves the further questions of how transsexuals got to think the way they do, and what to do to resolve their dilemmas. I hope I’ll be forgiven for rejecting as just plain silly the idea that some cosmic accident just turned these people into changelings. What happened, more than likely, is that, from an early age, when they discovered that their personalities didn’t jibe with what little boys and girls are supposed to want and do and feel, they just assumed they mustn’t be real little boys and girls.

So, parents of such little boys and girls, do not take them to the psychiatrist and treat them like they’re suffering from some sort of illness. Explain to them that, whatever the other kids say, real little girls do like to play with trucks and wear grimy jeans, and real little boys like to prance around in dresses and play with dolls. And make sure the teachers are on the same page.

As for adults struggling with what to do about their feelings, I’d tell them too to stay away from the psychiatrists – those prime reinforcers of sex-role stereotypes – and remind them that whatever they’re feeling, or feel like doing, it’s perfectly possible with the bodies they’ve got. If a man wants to wear a dress or have long hair; if a woman wants short hair and a three-piece suit; if people want romance and sex with their own gender; who says they can’t violate these perfectly arbitrary taboos? A short historical and cross-cultural survey should establish that men and women have worn and done all sorts of stuff. I recall reading something by Jan Morris in which it seemed that he thought he needed a sex change because he wanted men to hold doors open for him and kiss him goodbye at train stations. For starters, I’d have told him that I’ve had these nice things happen to me and I’ve still got my pecker.

Perhaps it isn’t needless to say that a No to the notion of transgender does not excuse discrimination against cross-dressers or post-op transsexuals in employment, housing and public accommodation; and I strongly support legislation that would forbid it. I would, however, get after the doctors – the psychiatrists who use a phony medical model to invent a disease that doesn’t exist, and the surgeons who use such spurious diagnoses to mutilate the bodies of the deluded.

Thanks for re-posting that. I wanted to see what all the buzz was about and agree that it is terrible! Talk about misinformation and discrimination! It’s what one would come to somewhat expect from a group of misinformed cis-gendered heterosexuals, but certainly not from someone who has worked hard to promote awareness and equal rights for the Gay community.

Why is it so important for some people to fit others into a neat little categoric box with a bow? Sexual preference and gender identity is a spectrum that includes all kinds of variances. Five months ago, I did not know that. Obviously, ten months ago, neither did Ronald Gold. Hopefully today he does.