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Monday, 14 July 2008

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing self forgiveness because I perceive and belief that writing it out is a confirmation, validation that this is who I am instead of realising that it is NOT who I am and that I’m not confirming anything, just taking self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of what I’ve become through acceptance and allowances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather hide and deny certain points within me – and within this actually stating: this is a part of me, this is who I am -instead of what I believe to be stating when writing it out as self forgiveness believing that if I write it out, then it’s certainly me, while it’s actually the other way around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when judging the mind by believing that I am the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only now start digging deeper into the “I am (not) my mind” construct while it was actually the first real obvious thing on which to do proper self forgiveness and get it all out and start from there – but I skipped it instead and only scratched the surface of it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am not my mind and actually live this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not fucking realising this earlier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to know that I am not my mind but not practically live and apply this – making it but a piece of information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge every point I have to do self forgiveness on, giving some points value and weight as if they’re harder or something while it’s just another point to transcend and it has to go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate my transcendence points from each other and then give them all a certain value and importance, weight. Instead of realising that all these transcendence points are one and equal and they are what they are just FUCKING POINTS.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall back into another timeloop and judge myself for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just try and ignore this timeloop because I don’t want to fucking go there and go “ok this is a timeloop I’ll just wait some cause it’ll be over soon and then I’m safe till it pops back up as another timeloop, only worse but then I’ll just do the same thing again”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself from the moment I realise that I’m in a timeloop instead of standing up stating till here no fuckin more!