Why men don’t have balls anymore and feminism’s lack of self-reflection.

Damn, It’s been a really, really long time since my last blog. I try to write whenever I can, mostly at weekends, but even that is becoming more and more difficult as of late. I’m backed up with ideas for blog entries that I want to write about, hoping to get a couple written in the next couple of days that I can post if and when I get the time, but it’s difficult.

The good thing is, the thing that wasn’t ever so apparent when I started the blog just over a year ago, is that the aura surrounding feminism seems to be cracking. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still immensely powerful, and I don’t think it’s in danger of falling apart any time soon, but cracks are appearing. And, the funny thing is, it’s got nothing to do with the MRM, or at least not as much as I see some people claiming. Sure, the MRM is making dents everywhere, but the biggest damage being done to feminism at the moment is coming from within the movement. Yeah, it’s not on a mainstream scale yet, but more and more people, in comment sections on news articles, on Twitter, on Facebook pages are becoming more and more vocal against the victimhood culture that feminism constantly pushes.

It doesn’t help the movement that numerous feminists are publishing articles that are so loaded with victimhood and entitlement that people can’t help but see the movement for what it is – a bunch of perpetual whiners. Let’s make it clear, are there facets of society that are sexist towards women? Yes, of course, I don’t think any sane, rational person would deny that. But, here’s the kicker are there facets of society that are sexist towards men? God, yes! That’s the problem, for so long the narrative on sexism has been geared solely, exclusively towards women that, now, when we men get a little pissed off at yet another portrayal of us as bumbling idiots it seems we are, somehow, hijacking the conversation about sexism, like it’s something that only women experience. It’s this one sided view of what is and isn’t sexism, and the fact that we are not even allowed to simply criticise women for their contribution to society’s sexism, that eliminates any examples of misandry and refocuses everything through the lens of misogyny. When feminists say that abuse of fat men is actually fuelled by misogyny (blog entry on that coming, just wait) it, once again, takes any and all sympathy away from the individual men and puts it squarely on women as an entire demographic. It’s pathetic and, thankfully, more and more people are beginning to wake up to it.

That’s not to say I agree with the idea that men are now the majority sufferers of sexism. Do I agree with claims that, actually, men are the ‘oppressed’ sex in modern society? God no, that idea is laughable. Sexism exists, of course it does, but it’s not about the ‘oppression Olympics’, it’s simply about brokering a discussion where sexism against both sexes is considered and discussed in equal terms, not through the lens of ‘well, hatred of men is rooted in hatred of women’.

So what’s bought this on? Well, yet another article has surfaced asking ‘where have the men gone?’ It seems they’re cropping up more and more often. Unfortunately, they all share one thing in common – a complete lack of interest in asking ‘what contribution have women made’ to this generation of men they seem to hate. This is the all-too-common problem, an article appears that absolutely tears men apart for not being ‘real men’ yet seems to skim over the contribution women make.

This is where the cracks in feminism are appearing. I searched through the comments section, not for long but long enough, and found very few, if any, supportive remarks. Not many people were agreeing with this article and, in fact, a lot of the commenters were women stating how they were sick of the anti-male bias this kind of article seems to have.

I don’t ever intend to do a paragraph by paragraph breakdown when I share articles like this, but sometimes it’s hard not to:

Now let’s start off with the site that hosts it – I know nothing about this site, I don’t remember reading many articles from it, but the few I have read have had a distinctive feminist slant to them, so I’ll assume that if it’s not a feminist site it’s definitely pro-feminist in its ideals.

Straight away we’re told just what it is that has got this woman cursing the pussification of all modern men:

‘Call me old fashioned, but I believe men should go after what they want. Maybe I’m nostalgic for a time that never was, but what ever happened to romantic gestures and bold moves? What ever happened to a guy going after a girl until she agreed to give him a chance?’

“What ever happened to a guy going after a girl until she agreed to give him a chance?” – er, a little thing called feminism happened. And when I say ‘little’ I mean A GREAT FUCKING HUGE THING CALLED FEMINISM. Why don’t men go after girls until they give him a chance? Er, because that’s not romantic or bold, it’s harassment, it’s coercion, it’s rape culture, it’s objectification born out of inherent misogyny yada yada yada, blah blah blah. We’ve heard it all before, from feminists, from non-feminists, from anybody who’s ever put a post on Facebook decrying ‘where have all the good men gone’. You want to go back to a more ‘romantic’ time where men would stand outside a girl’s window and serenade her? Sorry, love, that’s rape culture:

Yeah, so, straight away you can thank feminism, not men, for the erosion of that little nugget of fantasy!

‘I know that “The Notebook” is coming to your mind as you roll your eyes in disgust, imagining some lame Drake-type confessing his love for the neighborhood chick, but it’s only corny if we make it corny. I think it’s heroic to throw yourself out there, to demand to be reckoned with, even if that means getting turned down. It shows masculinity and bravery to fight for something you want.’

“It’s only corny if we make it corny” loosely translates as ‘it’s only rape culture if we make it rape culture’ which, actually, is a pretty good way of explaining how feminists keep the rape culture wheels turning. The louder they scream, the more people acquiesce just to shut them up.

And then we get a slightly re-worded version of the ‘real man’ argument, designed to shame men for not doing exactly what women want them to do. If you aren’t prepared to sacrifice yourself on the altar of pussy, if you aren’t prepared to face 1000 rejections in order to find the one girl who’s ‘worth it’ then you aren’t a real man. It’s a shaming tactic we’ve all heard before and, frankly it’s something we’ve grown sick of. The only people, missy, who are rolling their eyes at this article are people like me, and countless others, who are sick of your entitled bullshit.

You cry and demand that men shut up when women talk about what it is to be a woman, yet here you are telling us how to be a man. It’s an easy argument to make for someone whose contribution to the ‘courting ritual’ is pathetically small.

‘Men stand by waiting for women to come to them. When they see something they want, rather than doing everything in their power to attain it, they wait by, hoping it will fall into their laps. Whatever happened to grand gestures? When did men stop caring about love and start caring so much about their egos?’

Again, I find it funny that a woman is complaining that men stand by and hope things will fall right for them when, societally, the onus is completely on the man for initiating and maintaining relationships in the beginning. It’s even funnier considering her previous paragraph.

I mentioned earlier that’s there’s never any consideration of how women contribute to societal sexism towards men. This is a prime example. This woman, Lauren Martin, expresses a desire for men to make a bold, romantic gesture towards women, then chides them for their seeming lack of forthrightness, this despite feminist’s constant whining that such actions are ‘rapey’ and ‘creepy’ and ‘entitlement’, yet at no point does she ever consider the fact that she is a ‘strong, independent woman’ who is more than capable of doing the fucking work herself.

Here’s the problem with modern men – they simply don’t care about you, Lauren Martin. It really is that simple, you want to know why? Because modern men simply cannot win. We are constantly told to cease our oppressive, rapey behaviour when in bars, we are constantly told that women do not play ‘hard to get’ and one utterance of no should be enough. Then, just to confound things, we get articles like this decrying the loss of ‘masculine’ traits such as persistence and forthrightness.

Put simply, we protect our egos because we’re sick of being shamed and demeaned and demonised. Frankly, we don’t give a shit about love, we don’t give a shit if we hurt your feelings because, quite simply, you don’t give a shit about us.

Was that harsh? Yes. Was it a generalisation? Yes. Do I agree with everything I just wrote? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I think it applies to me. I definitely haven’t run out of patience with women, not by a long shot. Not yet, anyway. But, the problem is that men are not allowed to be ‘done’ with women without being labelled sexist. Not wanting to have anything to do with women is not ‘empowering’, it’s a simple piece of oppressive cuntishness. Another shaming tactic. Yet, when women post a status on Facebook complaining about men (which is a regular occurrence on my real timeline) they are coddled, they are supported, their complaints are wholly upheld. Nobody admonishes them, nobody calls them misandrists, and nobody scolds them for their generalisations.

You want to know why men don’t approach women anymore? Perhaps drop the entitled princess schtick and realise that men are sick of being pulled in a thousand different directions when it comes to relationships. Do you want to be in a relationship? Then put on your big girl pants, puff your chest out and go and get it. Don’t criticise men for being passive when you, yourself, don’t have the balls (sorry, ovaries) to risk rejection. Why don’t men care about love? Maybe it’s not worth all the hoop-jumping.

‘Ego seems to be the root of it all. Men refuse to shed their pride, even in front of women. They refuse to let their friends see them make fools of themselves, even if it means being denied a real woman. But don’t they understand they are just denying themselves that slim opportunity to find real happiness? They’re letting their pride get in the way before they even have a chance to fall.’

See previous paragraph (well, more like ‘mini-blog-entry’) for why men are refusing to shed their pride. So, by Martin’s reckoning, the only way to get a ‘real woman’, or to have even the slightest chance of finding ‘real happiness’ is to embarrass yourself at the altar of womanhood, in the hope she will take pity and allow you into her life? And then she wonders why men are not prepared to do that? What exactly are women supposed to do in this ‘game of love’? What sacrifices are they prepared to make in the courtship ritual?

It’s an epidemic of cowardliness and women are getting fed up. It seems that these days the only real way to get a date is to ask the man himself. In the name of feminism, I believe it’s fine for women to ask men out, but sometimes that girly part of me can’t help but wish to be courted. Maybe we were raised on too many Audrey Hepburn films, but what ever happened to the guy who can’t live until he gets the girl?

Women are getting fed up? The only real way to get a date is to ask the man himself? Good, maybe it’s time for you to grow the fuck up and stop expecting everything to be handed to you on a silver platter. Welcome to being a man, princess. Welcome to rejection and heartbreak, maybe it’s time you were knocked down a peg or two, knocked off your perch of piousness and entitlement.

In the name of feminism I’d like you to fuck the shit off and stop trying to tell me how it is to be a man.

I touched upon this is my last blog on female, and in particular feminist, entitlement; they want the best of both worlds. They want to be able to say ‘I’m a feminist, I want equality’ but then still benefit from every societal double standard that allows them to prosper in some way. It’s absolutely fine for a woman to ask a man out, but sometimes we just want men to do what they’ve always done, we want to be able to benefit from societal norms that disadvantage men. A part of you can’t help but want to be courted? Sorry, darling, but you only have yourselves to blame. How very enlightened.

What happened to the guy who can’t live until the gets the girl? Feminism branded him a rapist. You reap what you sow.

‘Why is our generation denied the dinner dates and romantic surprises? Women may have high expectations, but men don’t seem to have any at all.’

Er, because you don’t fucking deserve them simply for being a woman? Men don’t have any expectations because all we want is to go out with a nice woman and have a good time. Maybe it’s you and your pathetic expectations that are denying you your happiness. Maybe it’s time you look yourself in the mirror and say “fuck, what if it’s me?”

If I haven’t quite articulated my absolute disgust for this type of hypocritical entitlement then let me make it clear – I think this line of thinking is poison. Unfortunately it’s a line of thinking that is becoming all too common, particularly among feminists. And, once again, the ‘nice’ feminists that would decry this type of shitty behaviour are not the ones writing these articles!

So speaking for women everywhere, here’s a list of the possible reasons men have lost their balls:’

Speaking for women everywhere? And what right do you have to claim to speak for every woman? What kind of arrogance is this?

Do I have the energy to go through all her reasons for why she thinks this generation of men are cowardly? Well, I don’t see why not. It can only get better, amirite!

Drake

‘They hate him because he’s soft, but they all listen to his music (even if they deny it to their friends). But what is it about Drake that turns guys off so much? Suddenly, when a guy does something sweet for a girl, he’s known as “the Drake type.” It’s like this man became an icon for everything men don’t want to be. Don’t guys realize that Drake still gets more tail than any of them? Women not only don’t care that he talks about his feelings, they also get wet to it. Think about it.’

Who the fuck is Drake? I’ll have to admit, and this isn’t me trying to sound all counter culture or anything, but modern, mainstream music really isn’t my thing. As I’m writing this blog entry I’m listening to a Tunisian progressive metal band called Myrath. Sure, I can rock out to the odd pop tune here and there but, generally, chart music just doesn’t resonate with me. That said, who Drake is is not important, it’s the message that Martin is putting forward.

What Martin describes is not a man being sweet, it’s a man bending over backwards, forgoing his own wants and desires, in order to cater for a woman. It’s not what a man wants to be simply because it’s taking away from what a man really wants and, instead, forcing an ideal that we can’t, or won’t, live up to.

Why does Drake get so much tail? Well, is it because you feminist, social justice warrior types are so easily manipulated?

Also, what makes you think a man lives his life by how much ‘tail’ he gets? Why is it so hard for feminists to understand that men don’t measure the success or worth of their lives by their association with women? For decades feminists have decried the social standing of women being dependent on what type of man she was with, whether she was married or not, yet here we have a feminist trying to shame men because they aren’t doing enough to placate the women in their lives and suggesting that, by not pandering to a woman’s every desire, we are somehow ‘not real men’.

They think they will have another chance.

‘They think that connections will keep happening. They think that meeting girls they like will be a reoccurring theme throughout their lives. They don’t understand that finding someone worth liking is rare and doesn’t happen every day.

They could be throwing away the one shot to be with their soulmate because they think they might run into her again or that there are plenty of other girls like her out there. But when they’re thirty and still chasing 20-something bimbos at the bar, hoping they’ll find her again, she’ll be off with the one guy who had the balls to pursue her.’

I wonder if Martin realises the irony that is absolutely dripping from these paragraphs. Here she chides men because she thinks we simply wait and expect things to happen, yet earlier in this very article she laments the fact that she can’t indulge her ‘girly’ need to be courted. In other words, she demonises men, again, for not going after what they want, whilst at the same time crying about the fact she can no longer sit on her arse and wait for the right man to come along. It’s mindblowing hypocrisy and I’m not even sure she’s aware of it.

I also find it amusing that this article is dealing with men who are throwing away their chances of happiness by waiting for things to happen, yet this is not solely the domain of men, it’s the domain of stupid people who have been told their entire life not to settle for anything less than perfection:

See, anyone can think they deserve better and end up alone. It’s not just something that men do, and yet, once again, there isn’t even an acceptance that women are as guilty as men, just an entire paragraph trying to shame men.

Feminists love telling men that they don’t need us, they can live without us, they don’t need to be provided for, yet they also seem to love telling us just how much we can’t live without them, then call us sexist when we tell them otherwise. It’s getting very boring.

They bruise easily

Their egos are easily bruised. When women get a broken heart, they cry about it and try to move on. With men, the minute one girl breaks their hearts, they are tainted forever. They lose trust in all women and make sure never to put their hearts out there again. But that’s not how you live life. You must appreciate the love you once had and hope that you can find it again.

If the paragraph before wasn’t dripping with irony, this one definitely is. It’s absolutely baffling that Martin seriously thinks this way. Men are so weak that one girl breaking their heart is enough to put them off women forever?

Quite apart from the being untrue, what exactly is the problem with it? If someone breaks your heart why shouldn’t you be allowed to feel bad about it, why shouldn’t you be more cautious with your heart? Again, this goes back to the idea that a man’s worth is judged by his relationship with a woman. This is despite feminists trying to claim that men are never judged by their relationship status. That goes for both sexes by the way, I absolutely understand that a broken heart is something to try and avoid, it’s just the idea that Martin thinks only men pine after lost loves and that women are adept at simply moving on is ridiculous, especially when a quick Google search proves that to be completely false:

‘Men these days seem to think they should have everything handed to them. They believe that because they are the “alphas,” they shouldn’t have to do any work. It’s like when the lionesses are expected to hunt for the males. But when did men begin to think of themselves this way? When did they start needing to be coddled and taken care of?’

Ah, the irony, stop it, it’s becoming too much! Men are entitled? They believe that they shouldn’t do any work? This coming from the woman who actively desires to be ‘courted’ or, in other words, pandered to and catered for. Martin wants to be able to sit back, do nothing and let a man do all the work, yet when men do the same they’re entitled and it’s because they’re alpha? Man, there must have been a point when writing this article that Martin took a step back and said “what the fuck am I on about?!”

Oh, and men are entitled? Right, because feminists never appear entitled do they?

‘You can’t keep blaming social media for your problems, but in the game of love, it’s definitely a factor. Men have become so desensitized to women because they are everywhere now. They think they don’t need to work hard to get women when they can easily just Facebook message the next girl they see posting a selfie.’

Maybe that’s not men’s fault. Maybe that’s because the narcissism of women means men really don’t have to put much effort into online dating, or even social media. I can list on one hand the number of men on my friends list who post selfies at least once a day. I can’t do the same for the women on my friends list. The fact is, it would seem that the selfie is the tool of women, not men. So, yeah, this one I agree with, I just don’t see it as a negative. If women want to plaster selfies all over Facebook, Twitter and any other social media then maybe you should be taking them to task, not men. But then, that would mean having to actually pay attention to the downsides of women, and we know that feminists don’t do that.

Mama issues

‘They were babied by their mothers for too long and now truly believe they are the best people in the world. No girl could ever be good enough for them and they have yet to find a woman who will ever love them like their mommy does. They expect to be praised, coddled and tucked in at night.’

And who is responsible for breaking up the family? It wouldn’t be feminism would it?

If mums are responsible for the babying of men, who’s responsible for the entitlement complex that is exhibited by a lot of women these days, would it be feminism? By all means, call out entitlement and all manner of douchey things that people do, but focus on people, because it’s people that do douchey things. This whole article is finding ways of shaming and demonising men, but not once, not once, does it even think about looking at what women have contributed to this ‘demise of men’. That’s the real problem, social issues addressed by blaming only one side. Real enlightened.

The edible complex

‘You are what you eat.’

I actually have no idea what this is supposed to mean. Like, seriously, absolutely clueless.

They don’t know what they want.

‘They just want to have sex for the rest of their lives. That’s it, marriage is outdated, marriage is stupid and real men never settle for one woman. But just because you don’t want to marry her doesn’t mean you can’t date her. We understand that marriage is becoming an outdated institution, but shouldn’t that just be more reason for grand gestures?’

What? A feminist criticising men for being sluts when, like, all they do is complain when women are called sluts for sleeping around. Fucks sake, you can’t have it both ways. Either both men and women are allowed to fuck whoever they want, or nobody is. Why is it so difficult to decide what your movement is about, or is it that you only want women to be allowed to be sluts, while all the men must show their devotion to women by marrying the leftovers?

I love the fact that feminists are so massively split over marriage. So, it’s becoming an outdated institution, but that just means must try harder? What the shit does that even mean? Doesn’t make any sense. If something’s becoming outdated then why the shit would someone try harder to get involved in it? That’s like the stupidest thing I’ve heard all week!

Men shouldn’t be allowed to be sluts, they shouldn’t be allowed to just shag everyone they want for the rest of their lives, BUT DON’T YOU DARE SLUT SHAME A WOMAN!

‘It’s the common case of over indulgence. They can whack off whenever they want and don’t need real women anymore to fulfill their whims and desires. But beyond that, it’s the constant inundation of women in subservient positions. Men begin to see women only in this way, believing they are nothing more than sexual props.’

I wondered when this would show up. Maybe men do see women as nothing more than sexual props. Or, perhaps, it’s because they’re sick of your shit! Perhaps it’s because they’re sick of being seen as nothing more than financial props, walking wallets, protectors, providers and all manner of things that remove any form of independence from women.

I realise I’ve switched between saying ‘them’ and ‘we’ when talking about men. There’s a very simple reason for that: I don’t necessarily see myself as part of what I’ve written. That’s not to say I don’t agree with it. I do, it’s just that I don’t see my relationship with women to have deteriorated to that point. Not yet anyway, and I doubt it will do because I know a lot of brilliant women who are smarter, stronger, more independent and more switched on than me. I don’t hate women, but I certainly hate the protection we afford them these days.

When it comes to simply criticising women it appears it’s a big no-no. We aren’t allowed to do it, lest we be accused of misogyny. Why? I don’t know, but what I do know is that this constant mollycoddling of women is leading to articles like this one, where women are physically incapable of looking inward and seeing how they contribute to the ‘problem of men’. Are some men forgoing relationships and fucking their way through life? Sure, but the question shouldn’t be ‘why are men such bastards’ but rather ‘what’s causing them to behave that way?’

Do I believe being a slut is a viable life choice? No. Would I want to be with a woman who’d slept with hundreds of men? No. Does that make me a slut-shamer. Probably. Do I care? Fuck no, it’s my life and I will allow into it whoever I deem acceptable, as the feminist movement teaches women to do.

An article like this, that shames men, calls them cowards, tells them they have no respect for women while, at the same time, secretly pleading with them to adopt the chivalrous ways of old, ways that women are constantly told to eschew, does no favours for feminism or women.

Luckily, the comments section of this article and numerous others that deal with modern feminism are full of people, men and women alike, who are no longer buying into this mentality.

It’s bad for both men and women. Men are sick of being told to ‘man up’ and treat women like Goddesses, while seeing messages plastered everywhere that ‘women need men like a fish needs a bicycle’. Men are sick of being told that their life’s worth is judged by the way he treats women and whether or not he’s got ‘that special one’ in his life.

Women are sick and tired of being told they are victims, sick and tired of being told they’re as strong and independent as men but then told they need special protection because men are such bastards that women can’t defend themselves from. It’s insulting and demeaning. No, feminism, you do not speak for every single woman on the planet and the more you claim you do the more pathetic you sound and the more you turn people against you.

Feminism, we’re sick of your shit, please, for the benefit of all of us, shut the fuck up.

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Good Luck Buddy.
I hate to say it, as someone who loves men, you are all lacking.
You are all children, blame, blame, blame., NEVER take any responsibility. It’s PATHETIC and a total turn off.
‘Feminism’ only happened because of men. Because of dealing with years of your nonsense go exhausting so we decided to nip it in the bud.
You are the weaker sex, always have been, always will be.
I live with a guy, for 9 years now. I know first hand how utterly worthless you guys are.
You all reside in a fantasy land.
Best of luck cuz if you can’t see how immature and pathetic the average American man has become, you are simply choosing to live in denial.

If you’ve lived with someone you don’t respect for 9 years, why don’t you leave? I’m guessing that you have “shared your feelings” about how he doesn’t meet your expectations for a relationship more than once. If he didn’t change after you told him how you feel, who’s the idiot for staying in unsatisfying relationship? When you do leave, you give yourself (and him) the space to find a relationship more toward your preference…

LOL you’ve lived with a loser for 9 years… what does that make you? Sounds like you are a bitter loser who hangs out with even worse worthless losers. Good luck with your circle of low education and no ambition people.

Perfect and on point. Truth is women have become a useless investment (other than sex). The last three girls I broke up with couldn’t even cook SMH. Not to say that’s their job, I cook but equal? Not at all. And honestly why approach a women, and complicate your life when you can wait on a *slut* to hit you up, bust a nut and play video games, and they treat you great haha.

You say I don’t have balls. Well, I do have balls but I also have a brain. My brain has always been in charge of my balls. My brain has taught me, through years of experience, that a woman’s cost greatly exceeds her benefit. The risk is much greater than the reward. There’s literally nothing in it for me. So why would I have a woman in my life? It has nothing to do with not having balls; it has everything to do with being smart.

Most of the women nowadays do have very Severe Mental Issues to begin with as it is which is very scary. I said hello to this woman that i was attracted too which she Cursed at me for No Reason at all which shocked the Hell out of me. Today it is very Dangerous to approach a woman which Most of these women do need help very badly since they’re Not friendly at all which i would guess that many of these women were Most likely very badly Abused by the men that they were with at one time which makes it very Difficult for many of us men looking for Love these days which really Explains why many of us Good men are still Single today when many of us Should’ve been married by now with our own Good Wife And Family that many of us still Don’t have now.