44 Lessons Learned Over The Years

Everyday, we are learning lessons. Some lessons teach us what we should do, while others are painful experiences that show us what not to do.

We have a choice when it comes to lessons learned in life. We can decide to learn everything via first-hand experience or we can decide that we will look to others and learn from their experiences.

The lessons I’ve learned over the years come from both first-hand and observed experiences. While those that I learned first-hand have had long-lasting impacts, I also have learned that some lessons are best learned from afar.

The quotes below some up many of the lessons I’ve learned over the years.

Lesson 1: Do or do not, there is no try. ~Yoda

You either do something or you don’t. You will not succeed at everything you start. You do have the opportunity to learn from every situation you are in, if you are willing.

Lesson 2: An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. ~Ben Franklin

We are where we are because of what we have done and what we believe. When we invest in learning something new, we are able to see ourselves in a better place. Knowledge of what could be can help us arrive there.

Lesson 3: I will tell you how to become rich. Close the doors. Be fearful when others are greedy. Be greedy when others are fearful. ~Warren Buffett

Often it is better to be contrarian and go against the flow. For years I wanted to work a corporate job and get my “gold watch” after 40 years of service and then retire. That is no longer a reality. The most secure employment is self-employment.

Lesson 4: Know what you own, and know why you own it. ~Peter Lynch

While this is more investment advice that life advice, it has helped me in determining what I want to buy and why. Do I want the huge house that the bank told my wife and I 16+ years ago that we could afford? No. That would have required two incomes and we wanted her to stay home with our kids.

Lesson5: If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else. ~Dave Ramsey

If you live like most Americans, you will be broke, living paycheck to paycheck, have little to no savings, and be a slave to multiple lenders. I decided to live differently so that my family and I could live like no one else.

Lesson 6: To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard often misattributed to Aristotle

Regardless of who said this quote, it is very true. For years I was afraid to work for myself and charge what I thought I deserved because I was afraid of criticism and wanted to avoid it. Today, I charge what I think is a fair amount for my services. As I continue to learn and improve, I will need to confront the potential criticism the next time I raise my prices.

Lesson 7: Good is the enemy of great. ~Jim Collins

Often I settle for what’s good because I don’t want to put in the extra work to make it great. Part of it is the fear of criticism and part of it is perfectionism. If I only do a good job and it gets criticized, I can shrug it off as something I did that was good. If I did my best, the great, and it gets criticized, it would hurt even more.

Lesson 8: Clarity comes with action. ~Jeff Goins

Since high school, I was told that God was going to do “great” things through me. I wondered for years what that meant, looking for clarity. Clarity did not come from thinking and meditating. Clarity is coming through me acting and getting a better sense of what God is doing in my life as I move through it.

Lesson 9: I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. ~Bruce Lee

A few years ago I took this as a literal challenge and did 10,000 kicks (roundhouse) with each leg over a couple of months. It was a great workout and taught me how to do that kick. The strength and quickness I developed by doing that one kick 10,000 times was remarkable. The same holds true with life. We don’t want to be a jack of all trades and master of none. Take time to become a master of some.

Lesson 10: Knowing is not enough; We must apply. Willing is not enough; We must do. ~Bruce Lee

I know I need to eat healthier foods. I just need to start doing it. I know I need to workout more. I am willing to give it a go, but I need to actually do it. Like Yoda said, “Do or do not, there is no try.”

Lesson 11: Defeat is a state of mind; No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality. ~Bruce Lee

If you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. The state of your mind cannot be overstated. When you believe you are defeated you are. When I still have a glimmer of hope, I can press on through a lot of “stuff” to get the the finish line I want to cross.

Lesson 12: Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own. ~Bruce Lee

Good people do bad things. Bad people sometimes do good things. I’ve learned to study both and to absorb what is useful and to discard what is not. Since there is nothing new under the sun, all I can add is my unique combination.

Lesson 13: Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~Bruce Lee

For years I prayed that God would help me have a “good life”. The problem is that Jesus promised that in this life we will have trouble. Once I learned to pray for strength to endure, did I start seeing a positive answer to my prayers.

Lesson 14: You must unlearn what you have learned. ~Yoda

Many of the things I was taught as a child needed to be unlearned. I was taught that getting a good degree would lead to a good job where I would spend 30-40 years working and then retire with a “gold” watch. Those ideas need to be thrown out. I also needed to unlearn the concept that God loves me for what I do. God can not love me any more or any less than He already does.

Lesson 15: I find your lack of faith disturbing. ~Darth Vader

While Star Wars has had a huge impact on my life, so does my faith in God. Often I have learned that my faith is not as strong as I’d like. My lack of faith disturbs me and often moves me to act in a way that is how I want to act. I’m learning that I need to develop a stronger faith by trusting God more.

Lesson 16: Impressive. Most impressive. ~Darth Vader

Some of what I do is average (in my thinking) but impressive to others. The opposite is true. Often I am impressed by someone’s ability and they think nothing of it. We all have skills and abilities and need to recognize that they are indeed impressive.

Lesson 17: Ready, are you? What know you of ready? ~Yoda

I thought I was reading to get married, buy a house, have kids, work for myself and a host of other things. To be honest, we rarely are ready for things that happen to us. That’s OK. We can prepare to the best of our abilities and step into life.

Lesson 18: Control, control. You must learn control. ~Yoda

While Yoda was referring to Luke’s inability to control the Force, I have learned (sometimes the hard way) that I need to control myself. My wit and humor (or attempt at humor) has gotten me into trouble from time to time. The same holds true for the way I respond to situations. I’m learning to turn control over to God and allow Him to guide me in my daily life.

Lesson 19: So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven. ~Jesus (MT 10:32)

Learning to be unashamed of the Gospel was “easy” when I was in high school and college. When I went into the corporate world, I allowed that setting to temper my witness. While I never denied the faith, I wasn’t as outspoken in Corporate as I was in school or now that I’m self-employed.

Lesson 20: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ 2 Cor 10:4-5 (KJV)

Growing up in the late 80’s and early 90’s, I listened to the Christian metal group called Deliverance. The first track on their album included this verse in the King James. As a teen, I thought this was so “bad” or radical. Click the video and take a listen.

It was a passage of Scripture that helped me see that we dealing with things outside of the physical realm. To this day, I am convinced that the Evil One is still trying to take out as many people as possible.

God still moves stones. In countless examples, I have seen or a friend of mine has seen how God has showed up in some of the most remarkable ways. I am not shocked. God will move in today’s world. I am amazed out how many coincidences happen after God’s people pray.

Lesson 22: And Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. ~Luke 23:34

Forgiveness is really not about the person that did the wrong. It is freeing to the person that is doing the forgiving. While we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and need to repent in order to enter Heaven, I also know that in life, when I hold onto a grudge, it only eats away at me and hurts me. The person that did me wrong usually doesn’t even know it.

Lesson 23: In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1

When I was teaching a high school Sunday School class, we talked about how God is the creator of all. The students were used to the term STEM (Science Technology Engineering and Math). While teaching from the book “I Don’t Have Enough Faith To Be An Atheist” I asked them to consider STEM standing for Space-Time Energy and Matter. God is external since He created space, time, energy and matter, and it all began with God doing this “in the beginning”.

Lesson24: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

I was much more legalistic when I was in high school and college. I learned however, that Jesus told us that the world would know us by our love. Not our doctrine. Not our programs. Not what we are against. But by our love. Why? Because God loved us enough to send His Son, Jesus, to live a perfect life, die a death we deserved, and was risen from the grave so that by His love and blood, our sins could be covered up and forgiven.

Lesson25 :The Meaning of Wedding Vows

The traditional wedding vows took on a whole new meaning for me when I recited them. “I, Eric, take you, Carrie, for my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.” In the 20+ years of marriage since then, we have put those vows to the test. We’ve had better, we’ve had worse. We’ve had our struggles with money and health. One thing is for sure, my understanding and appreciation for these vows have changed since I first said them.

Lesson 27:Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Not all pain is good pain. Since 2003 when I re-started my studying and practice of the martial arts, I was introduced to the axiom that when working out, training, sparring, and the like, most of the pain I was experiencing was more about weakness (physical and mental) leaving me and being replaced with a strong body and mindset.

Lesson 28: He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. ~Revelation 21:4

We all need comfort. As a believer in Jesus, I look forward to His return and a time when the old order of things pass away. No matter what happens in this world, we can have a Savior that has won the war and will heal us all in the end.

Lesson 29: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind ~Romans 12:2a

As a person that had needed corrective glasses since the 9th grade, viewing things correctly is important. Thinking about and seeing the world through our carnal view is limiting. We must transform our minds so that we can begin to see the world as God does and cast off the way the world views itself.

Lesson 32: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding ~Proverbs 3:5”

There is a lot of seemingly senseless things that happen in this world. When I catch myself getting overwhelmed, I cling to the fact that the Lord is in control and I don’t need to understand everything. I don’t understand how so many things work, but accept them. I need that same trust when thinking about the workings of God.

Lesson 34: A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to! ~Gandalf

Initially when I tried reading Tolkien and the Hobbit in high school I didn’t care for it, when I started reading it as an adult I appreciated it much more. This quote from Gandalf helped me to realize that God is never late nor is He early. God always arrives precisely when He means to. I have learned to take comfort in that characteristic of God.

Lesson 35: You have everything you need to build something far bigger than yourself. ~Seth Godin

I am convinced that we all have a story and need to share it. It is through the sharing of our story that we can build something bigger than ourselves. We can build a community around a shared passion, background, or belief system. That community can then change our world.

Lesson 36: Respond, don’t react. ~Unknown

A reaction is an action done without thinking. A response is an action that required some amount of thought, even if it was only a fraction of a seconds worth. We trained in karate that we should respond and not react. Since reactions were done without thought, you can often get yourself in trouble. If you take that fraction of a second to evaluate your situation, you will be able to control the outcome more.

Lesson 37: it matters less how much more you make than what you do with what you already have. ~Thomas J. Stanley

I strove to make a certain level of income. I felt inept and empty when I failed to reach it year after year. I thought if I could only make X amount of money I would be a “success”. It turns out that I can live the life I want on less than that ideal income level I wanted for so long. I learned to “make do” with what I already had. What I already had was a beautiful wife and family that was without want.

Lesson 38: A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. ~Dale Carnegie

I was this man. I was convinced against my will on a great many things. Things I was told at church, at work, and in life that I “needed” to do or be. Eventually, being forced to accept these lead me to cast off many of these unhealthy beliefs.

As a teen I had a wicked temper. It stemmed from an unhealthy self-image and hidden sin. I met people in my life that used a gentle answer to turn away my anger and to calm me done. Decades later, I still appreciate the love they showed me by answering me gently.

Lesson 41: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry ~Eph. 4:26b

This verse is a must in marriage. I’ve learned that I need to share what upsets me and be approachable so that my wife can approach me if she’s angry with me. We don’t fix every situation in under 30 minutes like the sitcoms do, but at least the issue is out in the open and not hidden to fester.

Lesson 42: It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it. ~ Ecclesiastes 5:5

Being in business for myself, I have needed to be reminded of this verse often. I am doing what I can to stop overpromising and under delivering. I would rather not get business because I was honest than to get the business because of a life.

Lesson 43: The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone? Ecclesiastes 6:11

I am reminded of the Mark Twain quote “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” Simple communication is so much better. I’ve learned that what the large print giveth, the small bring taketh away.

Lesson 44: Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ~Deut 6:7

This verse really hit me the day my first daughter was born. It is up to me and my wife to raise our daughters in the Lord. While we are driving them all over creation we have time with them to talk about the things of God. We can’t abdicate our responsibility. God will help us if we ask.

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