America's Next Top Model recapThis week's episode of America's Next Top Model went off with nary a bitchfight or a crying tantrum--a first for the show, I think. The episode started with the girls meeting up with Ms. Jay for a lesson on how to pose like an animal (Cue Austin Powers: "You're a tiger! Grr, baby, grr!") with...live animals! Kahlen got completely grossed out by the drooling bear, so it was quite amusing to see her feed it a marshmallow out of her teeth. The girls were then tested on what they learned; Brittany, who I thought was going a bit over the top, won. Enter Tyra, who told the girls they'd put their skills to the test at a photo shoot...in South Africa! I thought taking the girls to Tokyo last season was a bit of a stretch, but South Africa? Come on! Why not London or--gasp!--New York? Before you know it, Tyra will be taking the girls to Honduras. Hey, it's where most of your clothes are made! Honduras is the Next Fashion Capital of the World! Anyway, the girls were greeted with a safari, then a tribal dance from natives and an appearance by Tyra, touting the importance of the South African fashion scene. (Hmm, isn't this where they sent Adrianne Curry, ANTM's first-seaon winner who couldn't get work in the U.S.--or Europe for that matter?) Brittany's prize for winning the competition was sleeping indoors in (bug-infested) luxury, while the other three girls pitched a tent--literally--outside. The following day brought a photo shoot in which the girls had to pose like an animal for Lubriderm. Cue more crazy makeup. Most of the girls did a kickass job, although Keenyah was pissed that she had to be the elephant. (Throughout the episode, the girls, and Keenyah herself, alluded to her 12-pound weight gain. Yikes.) At judging, there was an impromptu "emotion" posing test, which Kahlen (now officially my favorite) nailed. Kahlen was called first; Keenyah and Michelle were the last two. And while Tyra gave Keenyah a lecture about the exorbitant amount of retouching her photo required (um, hello, Tyra, your gut is bigger than mine--I saw the jiggle action when you were jumping around with those African dudes), Michelle's lack of confidence was the final nail in her proverbial coffin, and she went home. I thought Michelle, in general, made a pretty kickass model (she photographed incredibly well), but, yes, she was a bit of a mess.

The Cheryl Shops Mother's Day Gift GuideYikes, Mother's Day is upon us! So without further ado, here are some gift suggestions for the hardest woman in the world to shop for.

For the foodie mom: The French market Garden Kit requires a green thumb and a vermin-free backyard, but imagine how psyched your mom would be to grow fresh mesclun, chives, leeks and more in her backyard--thus bypassing the greenmarket or the long, long lines at Whole Foods. (Note: This item is currently backordered but will hopefully be back up in time for the big day.)

For the jet-setting mom: Whether she's a business traveler or on the Palm Beach-Gstaad-St. Tropez-Aspen circuit, she can make herself feel more at home with this surprisingly reasonable Burberry folding frame. The bright turquoise color will liven up any Holiday Inn.

For the "French women don't get fat" mom: My mom would kill me if I bought her this Vosges hot chocolate set, but if yours appreciates the finer things in life (and has a fast metabolism), well, there's nothing better than $80 worth of hot chocolate.

For the mod mom: With this Pucci neck scarf, Mom can relive her '60s go-go glory days. She'll love the trip down memory lane, and you'll love borrowing it.

For the mom with incredibly good taste (a.k.a. a gift I wouldn't mind receiving myself): According to my mom, my style is too "modern." But if that's your mom's bag, she'll love this sleek Jonathan Adler jewelry box. Bonus--it matches his signature glassware!

For the put-together mom: Compacts are something that's kind of lost on this generation; my grandmother collected Estee Lauder compacts and rotated 'em. This Moroccan Mosaic Tile compact will keep the tradition going.

For the mom who's stuck on Renuzit: My pal MT introduced me to the diffuser. It's basically a jar of aromatic oil, and you stick wooden sticks in it, and they diffuse the scent throughout your room. Longer-lasting than a candle, classier than Glade Plug-Ins.

For the mom with incredibly good taste, #2: Yes, I'm a sucker for stuff with butterfiles, but these butterfly pajamas look incredibly comfortable, and you can get the monogrammed for mom (and so you can't steal 'em).

For the trendy mom: The bohemian look is in for spring, and as much as your mom might want to rock it, the tiered peasant skirts and crocheted tops will make her look like she's trying too hard. So give her this turquoise necklace, currently on sale, for a funky but age-appropriate look.

For the gadget-savvy mom: Well, not to totally generalize, but that heading is a bit of an oxymoron. But you can help mom feel hip with the very easy-to-use iPod Shuffle. Just make sure she doesn't try to recreate the ads and dance in public.

Website of the weekThe ol' saying might be "April showers bring May flowers," but I've always found that it tends to rain more in May. Since that month is swiftly approaching and I accidentally left my umbrella in Grandma Bea's apartment last weekend, I'm in the market for a new one. Now, I'm always tempted to buy a nice umbrella from, say, Lulu Guinness or Burberry, but I always end up with a $3 street umbrella or, if I feel like a splurge, a $5 job from Duane Reade. I also go through approximately four a year, so maybe investing in a nice umbrella would be worth it. Tray6 has a small but focused selection: five colors, four styles (not all styles come in all colors, however), and all are $48. Yes, that's a bit more than my usual $3 street umbrella, but these puppies feature fiberglass rib frames with strong wind resistance, a black rubber-coated ergonomic handle, and a durable auto-open mechanism. When opened, the umbrella is a hair-protecting 40 inches in diameter, and although the 32" height won't fit in your purse, the styles are so cute, you'll look totally chic carrying it around. The site is flash, so I can't link directly to any style, but my favorite is the garden print, in spring-friendly green. Shipping is $8 and items arrive in 4-10 days--so if you order now, your chic new umbrella will be here just in time for those May showers.

The week in shoppingSale of the week: If you're a working girl (which I'm assuming most of us are), you can't beat Chaiken for sophisticated, stylish basics. Here, get 'em for up to 70% off. 4/26-4/27; 8-8 Tue., 8-11:30 a.m. Wed.; Metropolitan Pavilion, 123 W. 18th St. (6th & 7th Aves.), 4th fl.

While you're in the neighborhood, you might as well stop by the Kate Spade sale, however do so at your own risk--i once spent three hours waiting in line to get in. Still, prices are an enticing wholesale and below. 4/26-4/28; 9-6, 9-6 Thurs.; Metropolitan Pavilion, 125 W. 18th St. (6th & 7th Aves.), ground floor.

Shelly Steffee is one of those intimidating-looking stores that has a total of, like, four dresses hanging in it, but her clothes are gorgeous and at this sale, they're up to 90% off. Through 4/26; noon-9; 34 Gansevoort St. (9th Ave. & Hudson St.).

America's Next Top Model recapAfter going batshit crazy on last week's episode of America's Next Top Model, Tyra started out this week's show by doing some major damage control. Like, "Hey, y'all. I'm not really Crazy McLoonypants, but Tiffany just disappointed me, you know?" The girls nodded nervously. Moving forward, the girls met with some blonde fembot from Entertainment Tonight who taught them how to deal with the media (this included an incredibly amusing segment of Christina interviewing Tatiana, in which both girls said the word "actually" 8 times in about 15 seconds; a buzzer went off each time it was uttered). The girls then put their skills to the test by interviewing rapper/actress/designer/Gwen Stefani buddy Eve; Christina managed not to say "actually" enough to win the challenge but won the lamest prize ever--her interview will actually air on ET. Big whip. I'd rather have a yellow diamond necklace. The girls then went clubbing in L.A., and Michelle busted a move on the dance floor in a bid to work on her confidence. I'd say she's making strides. Sadly, when the girls came home, Kahlen received a voicemail saying that one of her high school friends had died. So it was in incredibly bad taste the next day when the girls had to pose as one of the seven deadly sins. In a graveyard. In a coffin. In a grave. Kahlen understandably freaked out, but pulled her shit together and turned out the best photo of the bunch, channeling her anger as "wrath." At judging, the girls were subjected to another kooky test from the judges--a mock press conference--and Tyra managed not to yell at anyone (thankfully). Tatiana and her small, scrunchy face got the boot in the end for not being very "media-friendly." Which is kind of a dumb reason if you're going to be a plain ol' model, but I suppose it's different being America's Next Top Model. Either way, I am not too upset about Tatiana leaving, as I found her quite annoying.

Next week: Michelle cries some more, and Keenyah chows down. Also, the girls go "somewhere exotic," which I'm guessing is not New York and I'm hoping is not Tokyo.

Website of the weekI have a rather unhealthy habit. Before you get the wrong idea, I'll gladly tell you my bad habit is US Weekly, to which I have a subscription. I love reading about celebrities' feuds (Paris is pissed off at Nicole for some reason!), looking at pictures of celebrities picking up their dry cleaning, and reading about where celebrities shop. I'm particularly interested in the latter (well, duh), and Satine seems to be one of the newer favorites (aside from old standbys Intuition and Kitson). So I was quite happy to discover that Satine has a website--and a supercool one at that. Browsing the website almost makes me want to shop at the actual store, even though it's in L.A. and I'm sure the salesgirls would ignore me 'cause I'm not Nicole Kidman. So on that note, the website is organized simply: You can shop by category--accessories, bags, clothing, jewelry, shoes, and swimwear--or check out the special features along the top, such as "items we idolize" and "just arrived." There's an awesome mix of merch--everything from Lanvin accessories and Alexander McQueen shoes (both pricey, as you'd expect) to Minnetonka moccasins, Irregular Choice shoes, and affordable clothing by McGinn and Jill Stuart--it's enough to make you think that maybe the salesgirls might not be so snobby after all. Some of my favorites: I must have this bright green Sass & Bide dress, which is the most affordable Sass & Bide piece I've ever seen; all the cool kids are wearing short-sleeved blazers, and I think I want one too; they've got the Meli-Melo denim trouser that every fashion mag has been fawning over; I love this slightly-extravagant-but-not-terribly expensive Lanvin bracelet; and while there are countless shoes that pique my interest, this Johanna Ho flat is the most interesting; well, okay, except for this very comfortable-looking Rebecca Taylor wedge. Items ship next day via UPS or FedEx, and the return policy is a bit stringent, but with all this cool stuff, why the hell would you want to return it anyway? You can also read about the owners, who sound so cool, you can almost picture yourself hanging out with them at the store. Well, almost--you might have to elbow Lindsay Lohan out of the way first.

My shopping weekendIn between visitors, vacations, doing my taxes, and, um, trying not to spend money, I felt like I hadn't done much shopping recently. So there's nothing like a little sunshine and 70-degree weather to draw me out to the stores. Saturday, MW and I took the bus to IKEA and, surprisingly enough, barely had to wait to get on (I think the key is to leave before noon). MW got some furniture for his new apartment; I got a wok, a new paper lamp, and some frames for my stewardess pictures. (Little-known fact about me: I love stewardesses--not "flight attendants," as they're called today, but stewardesses from the glory days of travel in the '60s and '70s.) Then while MW was off to cover a basketball game, I took a stroll to Soho. I went to Tower Records and bought some CDs (for the record, the Bravery, Kaiser Chiefs, and the Faint), then I went to Sephora to buy more conditioner, but I was so sidetracked by the discovery of the Paul & Joe makeup line (yes, I know I've been living under a rock, makeup-wise, as my coworker AW has pointed out to me multiple times), I forgot to buy conditioner. But I did buy $60 worth of Paul & Joe makeup--a multi-function gloss, a lip gloss, and eyeshadow.

Sunday MW and I hit the new Bo Concept store on 18th Street in Chelsea, which kicks ass. (It's a bit more expensive than IKEA, or even West Elm, but not as bad as you'd think. And the furniture is very well made, and you don't have to put it together yourself.) MW had some gift certificates to blow at Best Buy, but a dude selling jeans on a table outside caught my attention--he had Joe's, Paper Denim & Cloth, Seven, and Citizens of Humanity for $40-$50 and True Religion jeans for $70. I promptly bought a pair of the latter (yes, they're real)--this style, which normally costs $172. So even though the logo patch on the back waistband is upside down (which I didn't realize until I got home), I am quite happy with my purchase. Seriously, girls, they make you look like a rock star with long, skinny legs. (In fact, the more I think about them, the more I want to go try them on again!) So if you're looking for bargain jeans, I highly recommend this guy outside Best Buy. Tell 'em tax refund girl sent you.

America's Next Top Model recapQuite possibly the most ridiculous America's Next Top Model episode ever aired tonight. Seriously, it kept getting more and more bizarre. First the girls had an acting lesson (oh yes, the acting episode--always one of my least favorites) from a weird old man, then the next day, they had to perform their scene with some hot actor I'd never heard of but Tiffany sure had, as she could barely compose herself in his presence. In the scene, the girls had to adopt a Cockney accent and dress like poor street urchins, complete with blacked-out tooth. Michelle the wrestler, who claimed to have four years of acting experience, couldn't produce an accent to save her life, most of the girls forgot and/or stumbled on their lines, and Tiffany came up with a Scarlett O'Hara-style Southern Belle accent (and a floral bonnet to match). Naima, who pretty much wins everything nowadays, won, and she, Michelle, and Tatiana received diamonds worth $10k collectively (Naima--smart girl--took the yellow diamond). Bizarre, but not bad. The girls then had a photo shoot for Wonderbra, in which they had to pose sexily with a hot male model and pretend to have a pillow fight amidst a fan and blowing feathers. Brittany, predictably, rocked the shoot, as did Michelle, and everyone else pretty much sucked. At judging, the girls had to read from a teleprompter, and they all stumbled on the words "magenta" and "chartreuse,"as well as on the names of Christian Lacroix, Issey Miyake, Karl Lagerfeld, and Hermes. Now, I realize I'm a bit of a freak having known how to pronounce all of these since the age of four, but don't you think if these girls were at all interested in being models, that they'd know at least some designers' (or models'--they all butchered Giselle Bunchen and Karolina Kurkova too) names? During judging, the panel remarked that they noticed a certain lack of enthusiasm. No shit! So Tyra got medieval and--oh, the shock!--sent both Tiffany and Rebecca home, Tiffany due to lack of drive, Rebecca due to lack of progress. We then got to see Tiffany and Rebecca say goodbye to everyone, and while Rebecca was crying and visibly upset, Tiffany was laughing and joking around. This clearly did not sit well with Tyra, who called the girls back in front of her, praising Rebecca for being upset (what?!) and yelling at Tiffany for repressing her emotions. Tiffany responded to defend herself, saying that she was upset but she was tired, etc., and wouldn't let Tyra get a word in edgewise, which is the cardinal sin of America's Next Top Model. You. Do. Not. Dominate. Tyra's. Face. Time. Tyra railed on Tiffany for reasons I still can't quite understand, but the gist of it was that all the judges really believed in her, but Tiffany clearly didn't believe in herself and thus let everyone down. Or, Tiffany made for really good television and the producers were pissed that she had to leave. Phew. I hope someone gave Tyra a nice, big Xanax after that one. Let's hope next week's episode is somewhat back to normal. I don't know if I can handle Psycho Tyra.

Next week: The often amusing PR episode, and something weird involving Kahlen and a cemetary. Oh boy.

Random notes1. My apologies to anyone who went to the Juicy Couture sale last week at Find Outlet. It, in a word, sucked. Supremely.

2. A special shout-out to Stephanie, who sold me a lovely vintage Sarah Coventry necklace at her trunk show today. I love it!

3. Big news: After a year away, Tom Ford is returning to fashion...sort of. He and Domenico De Sole have reteamed to form a Tom Ford luxury brand, and they've already signed deals to develop a fragrance with Estee Lauder and a line of eyewear with the Marcolin Group of Italy--kind of a backwards move, since usually clothing comes first, then a fragrance, and licensing, and so on. But whatever. Tom Ford insists he's still trying to have a career as a film director, so god knows how this whole luxury brand thing is going to work, but either way, I think it will be great to have Tom back.

Cheryl shops...GirlshopOn Saturday, MK and I decided to hit the newly opened Girlshop store in the Meatpacking District, as we are both big fans of the website. The store is, well, girly. It's bright and colorful, and seemingly everything is sparkly, which is never a bad thing, in my opinion. What is a bad thing is that everything in the store is in the low-to-mid three figures--they've gotta pay that Meatpacking District rent somehow, and selling $35 iPod cases, as cool as they are, isn't going to do it. So the selection is heavy on LaRok, Lotta, and Lisa Levine, but there's no Yochi, Meredith Straus, or FarylRobin (i.e. Girlshop's more affordable brands) to be found. There's a rather small selection of jewelry, as well as tiny corners devoted to Girlshop's sister sites Totshop and Guyshop. But there's little in the way of shoes or lingerie--two of my favorite categories on Girlshop (my favorite, of course, is the jewelry). So while the store is fun to browse--and it's probably great if you've got $500 or $600 to blow--I think I'm going to stick with the website.

Website of the weekOn Sunday, I decided to take advantage of the gorgeous weather and walk down to P&S in Tribeca to get some cheapie yarn. But while I love P&S, that's not the website of the week. Next door, I came across a super-cool--if somewhat shady--furniture store, White. It's super-cool because the warehouse-like store is filled, floor to ceiling, with midcentury modern reproduction furniture, but slightly shady because the key word is "reproduction"--what they carry is basically knockoffs of furniture by Knoll, Herman Miller, Vitra, etc. Now, while I won't carry a Louis Vuitton knockoff, strangely enough, I have no problem putting, say, a knockoff Le Corbusier chaise in my apartment--especially when a leather version here is $475 (the "real" one is $1500 at Design Within Reach). The zippy website has everything I saw in the store (with the exception of the Mies van der Rohe Barcelona Chair and ottoman, which, oddly enough, didn't have a price tag in the store anyway), but I can't link to anything directly due to its flash setup. Still, midcentury moden enthusiasts, take a look and marvel at the ridiculously affordable prices: A Saarinen armchair for $200, an Eames lounge chair for $275, a Noguchi coffee table for $455, an arco lamp for $250, and so on. So it's not the "real thing," but at these prices, who the hell cares? Do your friends crawl under the table to look for the Knoll sticker? That's what I thought. White's motto is "bringing design to the masses"--certainly a more vaild motto than, oh, "Design Within Reach," don't you think?

Haven't had enough? Bop over to Washinton Street, where twin home stores Auto and MoveLab are having a semi-annual sale, featuring goodies from Missoni, Dwell, Eugenia Kim and more for up to 80% off. Through 4/10; 11-7 Fri., noon-7 Sat., noon-6 Sun.; 803 and 805 Washington St. (at Horatio St.).

Thinking about fall? Head to the Madison Avenue Barneys on Saturday to pre-order from the fall 2005 Marc by Marc Jacobs collection. Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres too! 4/9; 2-6 p.m.

America's Next Top Model recapI'm back from Florida, with a nice sunburn and a belly full o' fish, just in time for tonight's America's Next Top Model. Which was kind of a bizarre episode. First the girls were brought to a mystery office where they had to sign away their lives (tee-hee, a taste of what's to come!)...which was a "lesson" on "reading the contract" (something, which, obviously, models can't do for themselves). The true "lesson"? Hire a good lawyer. The girls then treated themselves to a fancy dinner, where Brittany got wasted and danced on top of the table while all the other girls passed judgment. (They never could've made it in the Golden Era of the Supermodels, where coke & champagne reigned.) The girls then had to hobnob at an industry party for Cover Girl; Tiffany and Michelle withdrew while Lluvy and Kahlen rocked, although Keenyah made the best impression, winning a night at a fancy hotel suite (she was allowed to bring a friend, so she chose good-time-gal Brittany, who's pretty much a sure thing). Then the next morning, while Keenyah and Brittany had breakfast in bed, frolicked in the surf, and had deep-tissue massages, the rest of the girls were driven out into the middle of the desert, where they were met by Mr. Jay, who was wearing his most bizarre outfit to date--kind of "Michael Jackson goes to a gay cowboy bar." Anyway, because there's no such thing as a "normal" shoot, the girls had to pose with a truck and/or a gas pump while being sprayed with a hose and blown on by a high-powered fan. Which was pretty amusing to watch. Kahlen, Brittany, and Christina nailed the shoot while Tiffany and the super-relaxed Keenyah...well, did not really nail it. At all. And while I thought Michelle was going to get the boot, the producers clearly think she makes for good television (and I think when she's focused, she takes a damn good photo too). It came down to Rebecca (who's too "safe" and "pretty") and Lluvy at the end, but, sadly, Lluvy took another bad photo and thus got the boot. I am sad about this, because Lluvy is so cool and different but approachable. I don't know if modeling is the right career for her; maybe she can try acting?

Speaking of which, next week is the ever-fun "acting lesson" episode, the girls have a photo shoot with a boy!, and Tyra appears to get pissed (as in mad, not as in drunk).