i know she wouldn't

so i have a friend in san diego. i'm in the south. we used to work together and hang out. she has been gone close to a year (in june.) things are not going well for her, but i went into a deep depression when she had left, so little sympathy there. it was her choice to move. she invited me to come visit her in august as there is a wrestling ppv in los angeles that she wants to go to. she wanted to meet in houston for wrestlmania (more practical), but i would not be able to take the time off. there are places that i would like to visit in san diego and l.a., not just her, but the thought came to my mind if she would do the same for me. it will be a big chunk of change and i still have feelings for her. so emotionally it would not be healthy for me. so who would take the chance? and no i would not be crashing with her and i would have to get a rental car. opinions?

Gold Member

She is clearly missing you. But that is not really the issue. The problem is how you will handle it. For her, seeing you is a way for her to connect again with something familiar and safe. She may truly care for you, but you provide that little bit of emotional security she may need in her toubled time right not. But what about you? She may actually be more affectionate now than she's ever been, since she is very needy at the moment. Does this mean that she wants a more permanent and intimate relationship with you? Maybe...or maybe it can become that. But can you handle it if that does not happen? Will you be able to keep the emotional distance this kind of "friendship" may, in the short term, require you to maintain for your own safety?

My opinion: If you care for her, go. If she is the "one" for you, the emotional risk is worth the opportunity to keep her in your life. Just go with the understanding that her needs may only be temporary and driven by loneliness or despair. Don't expect too much. Be there for her, but keep your options open...and maintain some emotional distance for your own protection.

Gold Member

well - you like this girl. she is in a new place and freaking out and would certainly love to see you.
Do you have any inclination that likes you the way you like her? For you to spend all that money and not be any closer to being with her sounds like it might not be a good idea.
let's say even if you did all that, she all of a sudden did like you and you two hooked up, then you both had to go back to your respective places, what are you left with?
a long distance relationship?
I don't know. Ad tempting as it sounds, i don't think i would do it. Keep us posted.