Having sex after giving birth can be painful — here are 6 ways to help

If the thought of having sex after giving birth makes you cringe in pain, you're not alone. In fact, a study published in BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology found that 85.7% of women who had resumed sex by 12 months postpartum experienced pain during their first vaginal sex after childbirth.

Plus, the highest numbers (44.7%) were seen in women who had sex three months postpartum, which comes as no surprise to anyone who has given birth. After all, having a baby is a big deal and one that often comes with a lot of physical changes to your body.

And whether those changes resulted from a C-section, an episiotomy or just the usual overhaul that comes with childbirth, getting intimate with your partner may need to look different until you feel yourself again.

When can you start having sex again?

Let's face it: the decision to kick up the romance a notch belongs to you and your partner. But before you decide to get busy again, there are a few guidelines you should consider.

Even though the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) states that there is no set "waiting period" before a woman can have sex again after giving birth, it's not uncommon for some doctors to recommend waiting four to six weeks after giving birth.

If you've experienced either of these, you know how incredibly painful they are. Not only do you hurt immediately after giving birth, but quite often, the pain continues for weeks or sometimes even months.

Until the site is completely healed, it's best to avoid having sex. But even if the site has healed and you're still finding it painful to do anything, take some extra time before you decide to get intimate.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to wait until you are physically and emotionally ready.

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Tips to make sex less painful after pregnancy

There some things you can do.
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Once you've decided that you're ready to get back in the game, there are a few things you can try to help minimize any pain you may experience from postpartum sex. Be sure to talk with your partner beforehand about any anxiety you're feeling. You will need their support and patience in order to make this a pleasurable experience.

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Manage the pain at home.

A bath can help.
Pixabay

If you were taking an over-the-counter pain reliever to help with any postpartum pain, you might want to take some prior to having sex. Also, a warm bath beforehand can help relax your body. If the pain and burning come after having sex, you can apply ice wrapped in a towel to the area help relieve some of the discomforts.

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Get creative with positions.

The logic goes something like this: if it hurts don't do it. When it comes to sex, there are lots of different ways to get the job done. If your "go to" position is causing you pain, try something different. You might need to experiment with a few before you find the one that takes the pressure off of any sore areas but still lets you control the depth of penetration and gives you the pleasure you need.

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Use lubrication.

This can really help.
Snezana Ignjatovic/Shutterstock

You can also thank your hormones for painful sex. Often times, the changes that happen to your body are due to the fluctuations of your hormones. When this happens in the postpartum period, some women experience vaginal dryness and extra tenderness. Using lubrication can help with this dryness and hopefully make sex less painful.

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Pleasure doesn’t only come from intercourse.

Don't be afraid to experiment with oral or manual stimulation, especially if you're having pain from penetration. Who knows, you might find that you experience more pleasure and better orgasms this way.

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Go slow.

Now is not the time for intense or aggressive sex. Like most things in the postpartum period, slow and steady wins the race. Take this time to explore each other and engage in a little foreplay. Wait for your body to relax before you move to penetration. If you're stressed or anxious, it may take longer for you to become aroused.

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Keep doing those Kegels.

Just because you're not pregnant anymore doesn't mean you get to stop doing your Kegels at every stop light. The postpartum period is an important time to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. Having this area tight also helps you have better postpartum sex.

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