Thou shalt flirt ferociously each day with thy spouse that thy marriage shall be blessed with strength, joy and longevity. In everyday life its important to take a moment to keep the romance kindled. How can a husband and a wife keep the romance alive? Here are some romantic tips for married couples; including how to have romance in your marriage when there are children.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

We all know what regifting is. Regifting is taking a gift that you received and then giving that same gift to someone else. This can be thoughtful or just plain cheap. Whether they admit it or not, most people practice regifting in some form or another.

During the Christmas season we receive a lot of yummy, home baked and store bought goodies. Very few of these goodies are good for you but they sure taste good and are fun to get. We will "regift" the goodies by sharing them with people at work or family we visit. That way everyone can enjoy. I wonder why they are called goodies if they are not good for you.

A friend of mine received an interesting regift. It was a gift certificate to a chocolate shop. The thing was the recipient name had been whited-out and had had a new name written in. The whiting out had happened multiple times. Can you use the gift certificate or should you, like a chain letter, keep the regifting chain alive?

With an understanding of regifting, what is extreme regifting?.

Extreme regifting: The act of giving a gift to the original giver.

That's right. This year I am giving my wife the same thing she gave me for Valentine's Day a few years ago. Over the years we have given each other various Valentine's Day gifts. Some of these include things like stuffed animals, a heart-shaped piece of clear plastic with a poem and a rose in it, a balloon that played a love song when you tapped it and even a bug that danced around and sang "You're the one that I want" when hit just right. None of these gifts are really that useful, but they are a lot of fun all the same.

I am going to take one of these gifts that she gave me and I am going to wrap it up and give it to her for Valentine's Day. With it will be a note of how much fun it was for me to receive the gift and that I hope she enjoys receiving it as much as I have enjoyed both receiving and giving it. It will make her laugh. We might even make a tradition of it.

Don't be afraid to practice the art of extreme regifting with your sweetheart. Part of the trick is to make the gift new again either by adding a note about the gift or by making the gift part of a larger set. For example, if you are giving your sweetie a necklace, regift a teddy bear and attach the necklace to the bear.

Extreme regifting: It's what all the romantic couples will be doing this year.

As we were going through my grandmother's things after her passing, my wife came across a wonderful old composition book. It apparently belonged to my grandmother's grandmother and has just a few short pages. One of the pages is dated 1919. Another has a short treatise entitled "How to preserve a husband" which I share with you today.

Be careful in your selection, do not choose too young

When once selected, give your entire thought for domestic use

Some insist in keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly in hot water. This may make them sour, hard and sometimes bitter

Even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender and good garnishing them with patience well sweetened with love and and seasoned with kisses

Friday, January 19, 2007

At age five, you woke to the anticipation and thrill of paper valentines and white doilies decorated with taped-on heart-shaped lollipops. At age fifteen, your heart raced passing a folded note to your high school crush. Now that you're an adult, Valentine's day has taken on a whole new meaning.

Alone or attached, coupled or parenting, Valentines Day is the ideal opportunity to spoil yourself and those you love. Chill the bubbly, stock-up on chocolate delicacies, stop by the local florist and plan one of the most spectacular Valentine's ever.

Here's a few tips for making 2007 the most memorable ever:

Reserve a romantic Bed & Breakfast at a locale you've always longed to visit. Research your options to find the ideal inn exquisitely decorated, since you'll want to spend most of your time indoors. Keep in mind, many popular suites book far in advance and require a minimum three-day stay.

Book a three- to five-day ocean cruise to Alaska, Hawaii or the Caribbean. Day or night, the tranquil ocean waters and gentle waves have lulled the hearts of lovers for centuries.

Plan a camping trip in the southwest and remember to schedule time for a warm, crackling bonfire under the stars, with blankets optional. Bringing the kids? Just pack the ingredients for warm s'mores.

Book time at a spa for a day or weekend filled with luxury and indulgence. Today's spas offer the best in skin and body care plus health and wellness. You'll return to work – and life – vibrant, glowing and rejuvenated.

Arrange for a romantic Valentine weekend at home. Secretly arrange childcare with friends or family members. Stock-up on candles, campaign and truffles. Then prepare a candle lit dinner for two, complete with a mouth-watering chocolate cake and a fresh flower arrangement. Then wake early to cook a hearty breakfast in bed.

Miss time with your family? Take this opportunity to show everyone in your life how much you love them. Plan a family vacation to DisneyWorld, the Mall of America or a historical landmark the kids are learning about in school. Remember to bring pink and red cards and gifts for everyone.

Solo? Don't mope. Valentine's Day is a perfect chance to reconnect you're your friends. Visit your old college buddy on the east coast or plan a fun-filled girl's night out.

Valentine's Day is a great day to treat and spoil yourself. Plan well in advance and make it a holiday you'll talk about for years to come. To book travel, search vacation package deals or check arrival and departure availability, visit Vasrue.com Travel.

People have many needs. Our basic needs include food, shelter and companionship. People in relationships also have emotional needs. These needs include a hug, a warm smile, a laugh, a sense of appreciation and time together. These emotional needs vary with time and circumstance. Chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes expresses it in this way:

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Sometimes there is a need to be cheered up and sometimes there is a need to sympathize. Sometimes a person just needs a hug and other times they just wish to be left alone. While our physical needs remain fairly constant, our emotional needs change from day to day or even moment to moment.

When a physical need is not being met, a person usually knows. Thirst for need of water and hunger for lack of food. Our physical bodies are pretty good about letting us know when we need something. It is also simple to express those needs to others.

Unfortunately, our emotional needs are not always so easy to determine or express. A person can feel an emotional lack but not know what is lacking. They just know that some need is not being met. Even if they know which need is not being met, it is sometimes hard to verbalize the need. Also, like in the case where appreciation is needed, if you have to ask for it then it isn't really appreciation.

What do you get then? As a couple you spend time together daily, yet you hear that your sweetie needs "more detailed attention" or that "we don't talk". These can be clues there is some emotional need that is not being met by your relationship. But the need can't be expressed for one reason or another. What is a loving and romantic person to do?

The answer goes back to Ecclesiastes. Our needs change with time and circumstance. A loving partner will show love, appreciation and affection in different ways to meet those needs. There are different ways to show love, appreciation and affection to "prove" that your sweetie is important in your life. These ways include:

Verbally: Saying I love you

Through touch: Hugs, kisses, etc.

Small, thoughtful gifts: flowers for no reason, a small candy hidden to be found later

Written: A love letter, post-it note or greeting card

There is a book that explores the idea that we feel loved in different ways. This book is The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. As you read this book, keep in mind that people's emotional needs change. Don't assume that because your sweetheart responds to one "love language" now, that the other techniques for expressing love should be ignored.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Normally, my date ideas are for cheap, or at least inexpensive dates. Dating is something a couple should do often and on a budget. If dating costs a lot of money, it can't be done very often. Fortunately, there are lots of ways to date on a budget.

Season tickets to either sporting or cultural events can also be a great way for a couple to have some fun dates through out the year. There are several advantages to season tickets.

First, it "forces" you to plan for a date. The money has been spent and you are committed. If you do not go, then the money will have been wasted and no one wants to waste money. By having something planned and paid for well in advance it is easier to work the date into a busy schedule.

Next, it makes for a fun gift that keeps giving. My sweetie and I have reached the point in out lives where we do not need any more "stuff". Finding Christmas and birthday gifts for each other often becomes a problem. This year we decided to take the money we would have spent on each other, pooled it together and got season tickets to the local community theater. It is something we will use and enjoy but won't be just more stuff.

Also, buying season tickets is an effective way of supporting your team or the arts. As I mentioned before, we have a community theater that we enjoy attending. It is not uncommon for people we know to perform in the plays and other productions. By buying season tickets, we are supporting the theater program and helping it to continue in the future.

Last, season tickets are usually cheaper than buying individual tickets. The per ticket price is often quite a bit lower then the regular price. The problem is you have to come up with the money all at once. But a little planning ahead and saving should take care of that.

Season tickets, while expensive initially, allow you to have several dates already planned and paid for through out the season or the year.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

These verses have been asserting themselves into my brain for the past several weeks. Not only that, I have heard the verses themselves quoted or the intention behind them espoused in various places. I, therefore, share them with you. For your reading enjoyment, Matthew 7:3-5:

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

The first question I have is: what are a mote and a beam? I get the idea, but a beam stuck in my eye is hard to visualize. Here is what I found a beam to mean. Clicking on the definition takes you to the source:

Looks like I really do have a large piece of lumber in my eye, metaphorically speaking. A mote of course is a small speck, almost insignificant piece of dust.

What has this all to do with romance? A lot really. First, reread it replacing brother with husband or wife, as appropriate in your situation. Husbands should think "wife" instead of brother and wives think "husband" for brother.

Much of the scriptures, and particularly the teachings of Jesus, are dedicated to human relationships. Love your neighbor resounds throughout. I will ask the question once asked of Jesus: Who is my neighbor? Isn't your sweetie your closest and most important neighbor?

Often there is a temptation to change your sweetheart. To find some small imperfection, a speck of a problem, a mote if you will. It is human nature to want to fix the imperfection, to remove the speck or pull out the mote. When you feel like your sweetheart needs "improving", remember the beam in your own eye. Each of us has things we need to work on: goals to set and achieve, procrastination to overcome, gratitude to express, and to learn the pure love of Christ. Don't waste your time trying to fix your sweetie. Instead, work to extract that huge beam that is clouding your own vision.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.

So much of how life is experienced is determined by attitude. Two people can experience the same thing and how completely different consequences, solely based on the attitude of the individuals. A person with a positive attitude will take a setback as an opportunity, a failure as a lesson, and misfortune as a chance to share. Consider Tiny Tim in the Christmas Carol who, though crippled, wanted the people at church to see him so that on seeing him they might remember who it was that made the lame to walk and thus have joy on Christmas. Although ill and feeble, Tiny Tim;s positive attitude brought joy to his family and even to Scrooge.

A positive attitude makes fortunes out of misfortunes while a negative attitude brings gloom to a sunny day.

Attitude is most important while interacting with your sweetheart. A negative attitude will create an offensive where none was intended, a misunderstanding over a misspoken word or a grudge from a simple mistake. You cannot control your sweetie's words and actions, but you can control how you react to those words and actions based on your attitude. A positive out-look on life and a positive attitude toward your sweetheart will smooth over many of the bumps on the road of life.

Let us be like the reformed Ebeneezer Scrooge and keep Christmas in our hearts all the year long.