Wednesday, August 16, 2006

So I'm reading the Playboy college football issue (yes, reading, you sick bastards) and I've come to the conclusion it's the finest pre-season publication in all the land.

Sure, Ohio State is their #1 pick but that's ok. I'll let that slide as it's a popular choice this season. At #2, they chose West Virginia but, in their analysis state, "We're not claiming West Virginia is the second-best team in the nation, only that its easy schedule makes a number two finish entirely possible."

As I ponder their examination of the other top teams, I glance over at the opposing page and come face-to-face with this...

Yes, where else can you read a blurb about the classy Joe Paterno being their 2006 Coach of the Year and his "living legend" status while being confronted in the next breath with a cartoon of a guy munching box on a train.

Turning to the back of the magazine where the not-quite-good-enough teams are, I go searching to find Michigan's #19 ranking. Before I can shake my head at Playboy's 8-4 prediction, I see the ad in the upper right-hand corner for the "Peek-a-Boo" open front lingerie set...

Suddenly, 8-4 isn't my main concern anymore. No, I'm wondering if I can talk my girl into some "Peek-a-Boo" panties. I can live with 8-4 if I can get my girl into a pair of these.

So forget Phil Steele, Athlon and SI. If you're a true college football fan and want to read a pre-season publication that will make you not give a rat's cornhole when your team is picked in the low teens, Playboy is definitely the way to go.

Editor's Note: I noticed in the Peek-a-Boo lingerie ad it says "One size fits S-M-L." Folks, not to be rude, but if your girl is an "L," maybe you should reconsider your Peek-a-Boo panties purchase. Besides, at this size, all her lingerie already is of the Peek-a-Boo variety. I'm just saying.

I am not sure what is more disturbing - this much time spent talking about "peek-a-boo" lingerie or someone with the psuedonym "tyrone butterfingers" talking about reading Playboy and noticing ads for "Mandelay."

BTW, is it me or are these word verification phrases getting ridiculously long?

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