And then there were the miners who used to visit their local brothel after their shift ended. One day a new guy joined the crew and they took him along for the usual post-shift R&R. Upon leaving the brothel the new guy was concerned his wife would notice his now pink penis and asked what the others did in these circumstances. "You've to do what we all do lad, bat it wi' yer cap"

_________________Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?-Epicurus

Last edited by Balibari on Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

A guy gets on a plane and finds, sitting next to him, an absolutely gorgeous young lady and strikes up a conversation. "So, why are you going to Montreal today?" "I am the President of the sex therapists society and I'm giving the keynote speech at our annual convention "Exploding the myths"""Interesting" he says "What sort of myths?" "Well" she says "For a start most people think the French are the best lovers; they are not, it's the Greek men who make the best lovers. Most people think African-Americans are best endowed but it's actually American Indians who score highest in that department. Here I am prattling on and don't even know your name"

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub for a drink with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down the pub with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going down the pub with me ?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time. This time he put his face up against the centipede's box and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to the pub with me?"

This time, a little voice came out of the box, "I heard you the first time! I'm still putting my all hail the mods shoes on!"

During a commercial airline flight an experienced Air Force Fighter Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "Gosh, that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!"

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum."

Perhaps it has something to do with my trouble differentiating words that sound the same as each other, but i just don't understand why parents would ever live their life bi-curiously through their children.

You can call it a 'people-sorter' if you like, but that's one of Gervais' jokes that is a little below the belt for anyone and 10 times worse than anything Frankie Boyle's ever come out with.

You seem to have misunderstood the joke.

_________________Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?-Epicurus

You can call it a 'people-sorter' if you like, but that's one of Gervais' jokes that is a little below the belt for anyone and 10 times worse than anything Frankie Boyle's ever come out with.

You seem to have misunderstood the joke.

I guess the joke is at the expense of religion - talking to God, God talking back. Then if God's real, he's a git. The problem I have is simply making a joke about a tradegy that's currently happening to people who have no choice (i.e. the kids)

People use humour to make points. The joke mocks and highlights a policy that leads to tragedy and should be stopped. To say it's worse than Boyle, who jokes at the expense of such subjects, misses the point entirely. This doesn't seem like the place to argue so I'll take it down if it offends you.

_________________Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?-Epicurus

Had some fat ugly old slapper come up to me in a night club the other day. She was trying to flirt, then asked for my number. I asked her if she had a pen, she said yes, so I told her to f**k off back to it before the farmer noticed she had escaped.

A woman a Jewellry store farts while bending down to see a diamond ring. She looks around embarassed, hoping no one heard her accident, only to find a salesman standing right behind her. So casually she asks, "Whats the price of this lovely ring?"The Salesman very professionally answers "Miss if you farted after just looking at the ring, your gonna fairy cakes yourself if I told you the price."