Saturday, August 28, 2010

Judge Not

“Judge not, that you be not judged."

Matthew 7:1

Wednesday I went to this fantastic consignment sale. It is held twice a year and this sale was for the fall/winter clothes. Not that Heidi needs anymore clothes, but I did need to pick up a few little sweaters and coats for the one week that it is cold here in south GA. Well, my sister had a ticket to the preview sale because she was consigning a few items, but she was not able to attend, so she gave me her ticket. It was to begin at 6PM and if you had 4 boxes of character band aides you could get in 15 minutes early. I had intended on picking up some band aides after my oil was changed, but the 30 minutes I was told it would take took and almost 2 hours and I was bursting to pump, so I didn't leave work until 5:30. There was no point in getting band aides because leaving now would put me there at 5:45, but buying band aides would take longer - so I opted not to. There was already a long line to get in - and these women had laundry baskets and other baskets to carry their finds in.

So - all the band aid people went in and I was left outside with a couple of other women who did not have time or find band aids. The "non-band aid" group grew larger as we waited outside looking into the windows watching as the other women shopped and filled their enormous baskets. I did not bring a basket - just to let you know :). Back to the two women in front. They were friends and had arrived together. They made me very uncomfortable. There is this thing women do - I have done it and I am sure you have done it before yourself. They look their friend face to face, while blocking their own face, and through clinched teeth and raised eyebrows they say something about someone they see walking up or in the line. Then the friend nonchalantly turns around trying to spot the victim without being noticed only to turn back around in agreement.

Now, I have no idea who these women were talking about or what; I just know it made me feel very uncomfortable - wondering if it was me. I guess having a baby only 2 months ago still wears on the body image self-esteem. Are my jeans still too tight? Do I have milk/spit-up/poop stains? I didn't fix my hair because I could not lift my arms (oh yeah, for over a week I was having these random pains in different parts of my body...that day I could not lift my hairs without hurting), I had been working all day - basically I was looking rough, but wait, that is everyday lately :) I felt sorry for the innocent woman they were talking about and then I realized, how often we all do this same little thing. It made me feel so bad that I could have made someone feel the way I felt right then - so unworthy and very uncomfortable. These women in front of me were not even talking about me and it hurt my feelings. I definitely will think before I perform the same scene.