Spoof news stories from Friday 4 March 2005

WASHINGTON - President George W. Bush told reporters at a hastily called press conference this morning that health officials have launched a nationwide search for boneless chicken feet-an Asian delicacy that was smuggled into the United States recent...

DUBLIN, Ireland - After 1,600 snake-deprived years, Ireland is preparing for a reunion with its long-lost slithering friends. This spring, some 20,000 adders, asps and vipers will be resettled in the emerald-green fields across the small island nati...

Sebastian Coe was one of my childhood heroes. The middle distance runner, who, along with the two Steve's Ovett and Cram, formed a mighty triumvirate that dominated middle distance running throughout the 1980s, and lo, into the 90s.
Sebastian Coe, it is said, trained so hard that his heart grew to twice the size of most mortals. This massive heart was only one of the weapons in his arsenal...

ALDERSON, WV (AP) Martha Stewart, serving 5 months in Alderson Federal Prison Camp in West Virginia for lying to federal agents, says that she will not return to Connecticut upon her release this March. Speaking now with a noticeable twang in her vo...

In a move that's rocked the music industry to its core, Clay Aiken and William Hung have joined pop culture forces to perform a duet together. It's been dubbed, She Bangs...Her Head Against the Wall Because That Would Be Less Painful Liste...

KATONAH, N.Y. - The trim, dreadlocked Martha Stewart who arrived home from prison this morning is radically diferent from the soft, frumpy-looking woman she was when she began her five-month sentence last October. Stewart told reporters as she left p...

NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- At a packed press conference in 50 Cent's hometown, President Bush made an appearance to honor 50 for his remarkable accomplishments and achievements to the hood and the gangsta way of life. Many of 50's friends were on...

Washington. (Spoof International News). March 3rd. President Bush traveled to the offices of the CIA today after an aborted attempt on Wednesday. The purpose of the trip was to reassure the new CIA director Porter M. Goss and his minions t...

The tax accounting profession has been thrown into turmoil by an IRS announcement that it will start enforcing an obscure accounting rule. The so-called "one plus one equals two" rule is considered archaic and unworkable by many accounting professio...