dedicated to the fairer sex

My BFF

This afternoon was awesome– now that kids are back in school I can resume having regular lunch dates with my BFF Kim! When she got in touch about setting a date and time for it, I thought about all the things we could talk about, and then had to laugh to myself a little bit– I mean, it was really going to be too much to go over in just an hour over a burger or salad or any one of the numerous things the awesome Silver Diner offers up. But we could sure make a dent in the things we needed to catch up on.

When I was offered up the guest spot on Simply Solo, I hoped that I would get an increase in traffic here at My Ideal Woman– have some new folks come by, read my blog, and hopefully stick around for more. I was especially hoping to attract some “chatty” readers who would comment and make the blog more of an interactive spot. It made me want to “tidy up” the place some– get a new banner to head the blog (thanks so much MJ!!), and revisit the “mission statement” I have in the About section and tighten up the writing to better reflect where the blog is now. I wrote the About page when I first created My Ideal Woman, but in the couple months since then the blog’s identity has come more into focus. An email from my friend MJ said it well– “what it is really – an ode to and celebration of the great things about women and you putting your thoughts out there on what you especially love about all things female!”

Spot on!

So it occurred to me this week, as I looked forward to the lunch date with my BFF, that Kim’s a pretty amazing woman herself, and checks off many boxes on my “ideal” list. Her husband is a very lucky man, let me tell you. So while this blog will generally focus on women through the lens of a single man looking for love, today I’d like to celebrate an awesome woman who’s a true friend, and someone I’m so grateful to have back in my life. The story about us reconnecting is actually pretty cool…

I met Kim many years ago in college. There was a fairly large group of us that came together over our love for card games– Spades, Hearts, Bridge, and other group card games, and that friendship extended into social gatherings that included lots of partying and good times. Back when my ex and I first started dating, when we ran across some rough spots I turned to Kim for advice, a sympathetic ear, and a shoulder to cry on.

After a while life got in the way, we drifted apart, and she eventually moved out of state. She actually stayed in touch with my ex for a while but then that correspondence stopped too. Flash forward years later, and she moves with her husband and daughter back into town. It’s a whole new era, and there’s this cool site called Facebook that makes it incredibly easy to reconnect with old friends. Kim checks Facebook to hunt down some of her old Richmond friends and I get a friend request from her and we soon set up the first of many lunch dates.

One of the first things she does is ask me if I ever see or hear from my ex, and I have to laugh, and the look on Kim’s face when I tell her—why yes I do! In fact, we got married and have two kids! That shocked and surprised look was just priceless.

Of course, then I’ve got to get serious. Things actually aren’t doing so well on the marriage front, so over the course of several more lunch dates I again turn to Kim for advice, a sympathetic ear, and a shoulder to cry on. She’s there for support when we decide to split up, she helps me move into my apartment, brings me a lovely picture to hang on the wall, hangs out with me for a Raising Arizona movie night when everyone else bails. Watches my kids play the Wii they get for Christmas and laughs with me as they jump and twitch and yell at the TV. Helps me move into the house and is the first to come visit once I’ve gotten things somewhat unpacked and settled. She’s brutally honest when it’s called for, notices things that others don’t, brings me little “just ‘cause” gifts (like some delicious jambalaya I’ll be having for dinner tonight). We share a love of seafood, margaritas, fun Sci-Fi TV like Fringe and Lost, horror novels, old R.E.M. music… so much stuff that we never run out of things to talk and laugh about.

With all the drama in my life since we reconnected, she never made me feel like I was burdening her with all this stuff. She’s got a very busy and full life of her own, but that hasn’t stopped her from being there for me with a hug and a smile. It’s pretty amazing and humbling when I think about it, and I can’t imagine not having her in my life now. And not only is she a great friend, she’s a devoted mom and an awesome wife. In a blog dedicated to the fairer sex, Kim deserves a big shout-out as one of the best! I can’t wait to share her with a special someone someday…

When times are rough– divorce or long-term relationships ending– how have your best friends helped you through?

[…] the characters are thinking, and where she thinks the story is going. I get some of that with my BFF Kim on the shows Fringe and The Walking Dead, but we’ve only got an hour over lunch every other […]