I have been thinking about why the US government, and the governments of several other Western countries, have allowed obesity to reach such epidemic proportions in recent years. Especially given the high level of scientific knowledge about nutrition and dietary requirements etc. that our societies possess, and the additional strain that obese people put on these societies in terms of healthcare.

I have come to the conclusion that they are definitely fattening up their populations in preparation for the coming global food shortages.

Let me explain.

In 2050 the global population is expected to reach approximately 9 billion. A population of this size is simply not sustainable and I believe that the more ‘advanced’ governments of our planet have found a pragmatic solution to this most intractable of problems – cannibalism.

Some people have suggested that AIDS was created by one government or another for one reason or another – population control being one of them. But a disease cannot be used reliably to significantly reduce the global population because of its unpredictable nature – what if everyone died? Or everyone except one person? Or everyone except 2 people of different sex who didn’t like each other?

So the governments (or Government if you’re a New World Order man) decided, quite practically, that the only way to solve the pending population explosion - and the resultant food shortage crises - was for humans to eat each other. Thus killing two birds with one stone.

I predict that over the next 30 or 40 years you will see a slow seepage of cannibalism-related stories in the media – the intention being to normalise the practice and weave doubts and desensitisation into your subconscious. These stories will start with the usual ‘starving sailor’ type scenario before moving into new territory, such as a group of friends who go hiking - one dies and the others eat him. Not because they don’t have any alternative food, but just because they’re ‘curious’.

Films will be released that sympathise with cannibalism – such as remakes of ‘Alive’ and ‘Zombie Flesh Eaters’.

In the final years building up to C-Day (when the governments will lay out their solution) food producers will market products in the shape of body parts, ostensibly as novelties, such as hand steaks, ear waffles, palm burgers, knuckle curries, sausages with edible, transparent ‘nails’ on the ends to make them look like fingers, kidney-on-a-stick ice creams and buttock jellies (of course only the very rich will be able to afford human steaks – the rest of us will have to boil up the leftovers, such as feet and heads).

And bit-by-bit the natural revulsion felt by most humans to cannibalism will be broken down.

This is going to happen – all you can do is make sure that you’re an ‘eater’ and not a ‘microwavable solution to the global food shortage crisis’. I suggest joining a gym if you’re obese (you have 30 or 40 years so please don't tell me that you can’t do something about your weight in that time). Alternatively, stockpile water, flour, wheat and tinned fruit in some kind of underground cavern and wait it out.