Musings #7: Getting In Touch With The Me

The other day I posted about my magazine rack packed full of handwritten stories that has come with me no matter where I’ve lived. I also kept my Doddle Book which is full of several scribblings when I was teaching myself how to draw. I am not an artist by any means, but I sometimes can produce something not terrible. At the time I was getting rather good at copying things even though I was not able to do much from memory without a guide. It was something I did to amuse myself especially when I was feeling quite low.

The picture I’m sharing is dated 1990 and I was a very young 17 years old. It is something I copied from my all time favorite choose your own adventure book: The Secret Sorceress. It was a romance with a lead female character who had power she kept hidden most of her life. These days I can’t remember the story at all, but I do know that that book left a deep impression on me for whatever reason. This image is one I often used when creating online characters for gaming and one of my first MOO characters is named Mialie (who is dormant but still in play).

I think I did a pretty good, free hand interpretation of the cover art. The shading and color has faded over the years. Her green cloak I actually had scratch etched on the design which is really faded now.

I also admit I feel rather naked in sharing this doodle. That’s not a feeling I expected to have!

I can hardly remember now who the 17 year old me was, though I do know she was very sad and felt quite useless and invisible.

I think when we are young we can spend so much time trying to be someone different, or to wish to be someone else, or to plan for who we are supposed to be that we forget to appreciate who we already were. Often when people ask me to tell them more about me, I go blank not knowing what to say. I think going back and looking at the things that were important to me will help me get to know her again.