Random Thoughts: Top 10 Political Campaign Slogans for 2012

A vote for my opponent is a vote against oxygen. I don’t know about you, but I like oxygen!

Vote for me if you want the puppy to live.

If you vote for me, I promise not to robo-call you anymore! *fingers crossed beyond back*

Don’t vote for him, he isn’t gluten-free.

When voting, consider me, I won’t make you puke. (Unless you want me to make you puke. I’m good either way)

A chicken in every pot! Unless you’re vegetarian, then a jar of peanut butter in every cabinet! Unless you have a peanut allergy, then I got nothing! Wait – is peanut butter vegetarian? Where do you stand on fish?

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If you vote for me, I promise to end (________ <– your choice)!

When you vote for someone who says they’ll do something and then they don’t do it, you feel dejected. When you feel dejected, you need some comfort. When you need some comfort, you make a surprise visit home. When you make a surprise visit home, you discover something new about your parents. When you discover something new about your parents, you speed off with tears in your eyes. And when you speed off with tears in your eyes, you drive into a pizzeria that makes really great baked ziti. Don’t drive into a pizzeria that makes really great baked ziti – vote for me!

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Patrick Hester is an author, blogger and a 2013 Hugo Award Winner. He is also a Hugo Nominated Podcast Producer/Host who lives in Colorado and writes science fiction and fantasy (mostly)...[click to read more]

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