Tuesday, January 8, 2019

This Post Has No Name Because I Converted To Tubeless Titles And Couldn't Get It Seated

As I touched upon in that Banjo Brothers thing, I still enjoy riding in the city, even when I'm riding purely "recreationally" and can go wherever I want:

Oh sure, urban riding comes with its fair share of frustrations:

But it also has a lot going for it, especially at this time of year. See, if you leave the city in the fall you've got all that foliage to gawk at:

And in the springtime everything's all lush and verdant:

But in the winter it's just a bunch of dead trees and shit and the urban backdrop can be considerably more inspiring:

Also, sometimes I'll even take a skateboard with me and mess around if there's nobody else in the skatepark to see how stupid I look.

Of course, when it comes to recreational city riding, some times are better than others. At this point in my life I no longer derive pleasure from doing battle with automobile traffic, so my very most favoritest time to ride for pleasure inside the city limits is early on a Sunday morning. If I string together the parks and greenways just right I can get a nice rolling ride in with minimal unclipping and motor-vehicular interference whilst still drawing inspiration from the charged atmosphere of this mighty and vibrant metropolis.

Another interesting aspect of an early Sunday intracity ride is the perspective it gives you on your fellow cyclists. See, by the time I reach Central Park I'm already well into my ride, while all the other Freds are just rolling out for theirs, and its simultaneously amusing and intimidating to watch the Forces of Fred-dom amassing in preparation for their weekly assault on the roads of suburbia. The pointed chatter, the matchy-matchy clothes, the double pace line formation... It's like watching the Huns ready themselves for their attack, only there's no Attila to lead them, just the Garmins and Wahoos that dictate their efforts and record their every pedal stroke.

Then there's me on my wooden bicycle, getting passed like a fibrous meal after a laxative. I can generally count on at least one person per ride asking me about the Renovo, and this past Sunday it was the rider in shiny head-to-toe Rapha who rolled up on me from behind and demanded more than asked, "Is that bike wood."

"Yep!," I replied, ready to entertain further inquiry.

He then spat in a desultory fashion and spun away towards the GWB without further utterance: no "Cool," no "wow," no "huh," no nothing. Even a skeptical, "Why?" would have been better than a loogie. From this sort of behavior its easy to see why the cycle-curious find the whole thing so off-putting. If I weren't already a world-famous bike blogger with decades of riding experience stuffed down my chamois I might even have been discouraged. Contrast that to the skateboarder who stuck out his hand and introduced himself to me with a big smile on his face when he entered the park where I was awkwardly attempting to find my footing again (to the extent that I ever had it) after my most recent sprain. I mean sure, I was embarrassed and left anyway, but the day a seasoned roadie greets an awkward cyclist with such an endearing lack of guile is the day I lace up my ice skates and do double axels in Hell.

I mean it probably helps that the skater was most likely baked out of his mind whereas the typical roadie is full of caffeine and some quasi-legal supplement, but the point still stands.

Speaking of doping, the big news is of course a 90 year-old masters racer has failed a drug test, and I have only one thing to say about that:

Isn't "tainted meat" a supremes/soft cell song title?Most riders I meet( I almost wrote "meat") are not the jerky type.While I'm on the trail or on the road I get the hi and/or a wave,no loogie.If I get twenty people passing me with "howya doin'?" then it's all good.On the other hand,in that mix,and I get nothing in return,it kinda ruins the ride and the guy's an a#@hole.

Pbatemean, I mountain biked* when I was in Scotland. I cannot say for certain if the women are of a morally casual nature because I went with one who already was. I am not entirely sure what she did while I was mountain biking.

*Laggan Wolftrax if interested. Near Loch Laggan. They will drive one to the top if yer soft and haven't htfud yet. It was May, and it snowed. People were wearing shorts.

I think it's possible to never meet a jerky cyclist, depending on circles you frequent. If you stay away from recreational road cyclists, you'll probably have no problems. This is not to say that all or even most recreational road cyclists are jerks, just that the jerks I've met have been of the Velominati/Mean Girls type who judge you because your spoke nipples don't match your socks or whatever their problem is. This is, of course, a very, very small minority as I find most cyclists are desperately eager/exited to find another person who gives a shit. Messengers can be unfriendly, but it usually has more to do with them disliking squares than bikes. I think most people over the age of 18 are injured to crusty punk judgement.

The problem with riding in Prospect Park in the winter is that with the leaves off the trees, you can see the interesting structures and views in the park and you decide you'd rather ramble around the inner roadways then continue doing loops.

Sure, a 90-year-old guy “should be able to take whatever the fuck” he wants. I agree. He just shouldn’t do it and then enter a race against guys who didn't. (Of course I've no idea if anyone else was tested--maybe they all broke the rules.) I will give him brownie points for using Contador's meat-contamination excuse. Must be a racing fan.

"You don’t have to drop the drops, but you should bring them higher up and farther back. Not only will this improve your stability, but it will also keep you from pulling a Superman should you manage to go down anyway."WTF? What bike expert other than you and "self-proclaimed guru" Grant Petersen would make this claim? I hate to break this to you O'Mighty Snob, but putting more of the rider's weight on the rear wheel by moving the handlebars higher up and farther back simply does NOT improve stability.

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!