Send me email updates about messages I've received
on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.By signing up, you certify that
you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

How would you feel about moving out of state...

I'm 35 weeks pregnant and we have a 2 year old. My husband may have the opportunity to take a position that would put him in line for a lot of promotions. We live in Michigan now and the position would be in North Carolina.
I'm very supportive and would move, but my mom thinks that I'm crazy for leaving my family. What she doesn't realize is that my husband and my child ARE my family.
What do you think?

I would go. I had a 2mo old baby and moved from SE Kansas to NW Montana. The car ride would suck, and it'd suck to go into labor on the way, but there's no reason why you can't go in in another 2 or 3 weeks and have your baby then go. Baby would sleep most of the way in the car anyway!

it'll be tough, but it'll be okay. My husband just joined the air force and once he gets done with basic training and tech school, we'll most likely be living in Montana or somewhere around there. We live in Alabama now. I used to live in North Carolina and it's a beautiful place. good luck!

Hey! i am from MI - my family (dh and 2 DD's) just moved to Florida a year ago. it was a job thing and a get out of MI thing for us. Yes i left my entire family there - they were supportive though. Do it - you are right this is your family now - they can come visit you. (i'm sure they are mostly upset becuase you have a baby on the way) get skype.

I'm with you here- They are your OWN family unit. Your immediate family becomes extended family when you leave home, and start your own. With 2 children, if he has the opportunity for job security and advancement, you DO NOT turn that down. It's one of the sacrifices that we, as parents, have to make to ensure that our families will survive.

BTW, I lived in NC for 10 years (Charlotte), and liked it just fine- There are more northerners in that region than there are locals!

I'm presently facing the same scenario, as my SO may have a job opportunity that would have him set for life... And it means moving to either PA, CA, or NYC. I already moved to coastal SC (about 4 hours from all family- though we're scattered across the nation) to be in a better position for my family, and am willing to move as many times as it takes to open new opportunities for my children, and our future. With or without my extended family.

Your husband and your kids are your family, but I think your mother meant her and your other relatives.
When it comes to your family (Husband/kids) and moving .. everyone else doesn't matter. It is what is best for your family. Yes, you will miss your relatives, but you have to do what will benefit your family.

My parents moved down to Florida from Indiana when I was a month old, because my dad recieved a job position he couldn't pass up. Then nine years later he recieved anotehr position that moved him back up to Indiana. These moves were right for our family, because it allowed my dad a pay increase and better oppertunities. That's how my husband and I will handle our situations if it ever came to this .. Will it benefit us financially in the short and long term? Will we have better oppertunity for advancement? Will we all adjust easily to the new situation? Etc. Only do what is best for your kids, yourself, and hubbs.

You are right. When you get married and have kids (or not) that becomes your family, your immediate family, and your priority over any other family members. 17 years ago we up and moved from California to Wyoming as my husband (now ex) got a job transfer. It was a hard choice but one we had to do. We divorced and he moved back to California, but I have been in Wyoming ever since. My kids live here, I am remarried, this is my family and my home. I have tons of family back in California and up in Washington, but that is not my priority and we visit as often as we can.

You have to decide what is best for your family - you, your husband, and your kids. For me, my kids have always been around my parents, so it would be hard for me to take them away from their grandparents to move to another state. However, if he or I were presented with an opportunity that would be really beneficial to our family, and especially if it would put us in a better position than we are currently in, then I would do it. My parents could come visit us, and we could come back to visit them. Yes, it would be hard, and I'm sure we'd all be homesick and heartsick and lonely, etc., but we would make it through. You and your family, and your mom and all your other relatives will be fine if you move. Make your decision based on what's best for you, not your mom and other relatives.