it sounds like the former girlfriend has it on the ball where it counts - it was really sweet (and perceptive) of her to give you the ring that way._________________aka: neverscared!
a flux of vibrant matter

So the fact that I'm so tired of my job is now catching up to me. My co-workers are noticing I'm coming in late often and some of my administration is sloppy. I feel bad for letting them down but at the same time, I'm just so done with this job. I just need to push myself a little more - just until August. I'm such a doormat._________________www.cobrasphinx.nl

Perfectly on time, got everything arranged, succesfully booked a train ticket, a hotel room and dinners for the boss. He's happy, I'm happy.

Forgot to follow up on an invitation that was directed to someone else and now his mood is ruined. (Am I really that mad to assume that the other person's secretary would take care of it from then on?)

Thank you for reminding me again why I'm so done with everything.

I guess I'm more pissed instead of the client calling me to ask if I had received the invitation that I passed on, they called my boss. and oh geeze sorry that I didn't think it was that important to keep my nose pressed on it, considering it didn't concern the company.

Last Thursday my dad went into the hospital with an infection in his surgical site. Not sure if it was caused by Lymphedema or is just called lymphedema.

Basically his leg above the knee was bright red and swollen, but the lower leg was so swollen the skin was stretched to the point of being taut and shiny.

He was supposed to go home Saturday, but something new every day is keeping him in. It's a week now.

He isn't on any narcotics, but is out of it when you talk to him. Everything is slow and calm, things don't register when you say them.

For a while I thought his cancer was worse than he is letting on, I'm fairly certain of it now. You can't get a straight answer out of him, and I honestly never see his doctor to ask. He is diagnosed as having stage 3 melanoma (and spots in his lungs) but they don't want to do chemo yet, apparently they just want to watch the shit in his lungs continue to grow until they do something about it, "another 6 months" is their favorite saying.

Also, my sisters wedding is this weekend, hopefully he can get discharged to go to it.

Oh yeah, while he's in the hospital I got a call in the middle of the night of glass breaking at his house. So I go over expecting to run into the Black Guerrilla Family ransacking the place so the cops can cover it up for them.

The cops actually beat me there, surprising, and were leaving when I pulled up. "Nothing suspicious or out of place" they tell me an leave. Anyone want to do a walk through with me? Of course not.

That bothered me really bad, because his desk looks like its been ransacked, it hasn't it just always looks like it. We have a habit of being paperwork pack rats, I'm guilty myself.

Anyway, luckily nothing was actually missing, the back door was ajar, no glass. Where are the cats? I don't know where the cats are or were hiding, but they win hide and seek that day. Took me two hours to find them. Had to open cans of food and bags of treats to shake for them.

They are safe, everything is OK there. I did lock up his guns a bit better, just in case someone did pop the door open and it wasn't just the wind.

I'm sorry, Ded. That sounds really difficult, for both you and your dad. Has he designated a health care surrogate, power of attorney, or the like? If he has, that person can read his chart and is entitled to all information about his diagnosis, treatment, etc. I don't know if that's the problem (without a designated surrogate they can't tell you much, as you probably know [HIPAA]), or not. Best of luck to him, though.

DeD CHiKn wrote:

Last Thursday my dad went into the hospital with an infection in his surgical site. Not sure if it was caused by Lymphedema or is just called lymphedema.

It's the name of what's happening. Fluid is building up (edema) in his lymph system and can't leave his leg. Normally, as your heart pumps blood into your leg, some of it is transferred into the tissue, and the fluid already in the tissue flows into lymph ducts. Lymph ducts work like veins, but for interstitial fluid (the fluid around your cells), bringing it back up to your torso and then putting it back in the blood around your right shoulder. If the lymph system is disrupted the blood keeps pumping in, fluid keeps getting pushed into the interstitial space around your cells, but the fluid already there has trouble getting out. Then you swell up.

This happens sometimes in people with cancer if they do a sentinel node biopsy. A sentinel node is a lymph node nearest the site of a cancer. Lymph nodes are little immune outposts through which multiple lymph ducts flow and they're often the first place a cancer goes when it spreads from the original tumor (metastasis). If you remove one to see if the cancer has spread to it, it disrupts lymph flow in that area. It sounds like the cancer has already metastasized to his lungs, but they may have done a lymph node biopsy earlier that's just now causing problems due to something else._________________"Worse comes to worst, my people come first, but my tribe lives on every country on earth. Iíll do anything to protect them from hurt, the human race is what I serve." - Baba Brinkman

He has no power of attorney assigned, it will probably be me when the time comes though.

I honestly think he is holding off on treatment til after the wedding, my sister is his pride and joy even though she wants nothing to do with him (fairly justifyably, another story). I know he wants to be mobile and not radiated for it, but at what cost.

....i guess it should make me feel better about my horror - car needs a new water pump, together with a few other odds and ends the bill will be just north of $1100. which i can cover...just. but it's only money. just wish i had way more of it._________________aka: neverscared!
a flux of vibrant matter

He has no power of attorney assigned, it will probably be me when the time comes though.

I honestly think he is holding off on treatment til after the wedding, my sister is his pride and joy even though she wants nothing to do with him (fairly justifyably, another story). I know he wants to be mobile and not radiated for it, but at what cost.

That's a terrible choice to have to make - putting off health care in order to be able to attend your daughter's wedding. I hope he can make it.

How out of it is he? He has to be of sound mind in order to designate a surrogate with legal decision making powers. If he isn't able to do that you can petition to become a surrogate, but that takes time (and sometimes a lawyer), otherwise the state gets to decide in what order the people in his life get to do that (for instance, in Oregon it's spouse, then a majority of adult children, then a close friend, etc)._________________"Worse comes to worst, my people come first, but my tribe lives on every country on earth. Iíll do anything to protect them from hurt, the human race is what I serve." - Baba Brinkman

How out of it is he? He has to be of sound mind in order to designate a surrogate with legal decision making powers. If he isn't able to do that you can petition to become a surrogate, but that takes time (and sometimes a lawyer), otherwise the state gets to decide in what order the people in his life get to do that (for instance, in Oregon it's spouse, then a majority of adult children, then a close friend, etc).

He normally isn't out of it. I think either he was getting stronger meds then he was saying or he was super depressed from being in the hospital. Not sure what was going on exactly, but it definitely was only alarming because it was different than his normal actions.

i don't know how old your dad is, DeD, but apparently there is an actual thing called something like "ICU dementia" - which i discovered when my mom had it (and it was definitely terrifying). hopefully Dogen knows something about it. (i also don't know if your dad is in icu but he sounds in serious enough condition to be).

the good news about that is that my mom got over it after a few days - so hopefully, if that is what it is, it will be similarly transient for your dad._________________aka: neverscared!
a flux of vibrant matter

This girl came in for appendicitis recently, had an appendectomy. Then she came back with peritonitis (infection inside the abdomen; you know, where the appendix is) and her mom said she wouldn't take her antibiotics. Turns out she freaks out when you try to give her anything orally, or do a physical exam.

She'd been in hospital for two days by this point, freaking out constantly, because they had to get her infection under control and manage her pain, and all the residents had ordered were oral medications. Every day at 9am they'd have to force her to take pills, then she'd spend two or three hours crying inconsolably until she fell asleep, only to do it again around 12-2pm. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't get out of bed, and cringed whenever you would talk to her.

Me: "So... has anyone assessed her for sexual abuse?"
Dead silence.

No one had ever thought of that. Four hours later we find, yes, she was assaulted as a very young child, the mom is doing everything right for her and - here's the shocker - we switch her to IV everything so we don't have to continually traumatize her by forcing her to swallow pills. And it totally works. Anyone could have done it at any point over the last two days and saved this girl so, so much emotional pain.

Fuck sakes. No one thought of it. It took a first year grad student to point out something they should have assessed for the first day.

I don't have many occasions like this, but that girl... man, she's stuck in my head tonight._________________"Worse comes to worst, my people come first, but my tribe lives on every country on earth. Iíll do anything to protect them from hurt, the human race is what I serve." - Baba Brinkman