Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

I like that Batman has lost his edge. You know he relies on fear to fight crime,but know the fear has been taken away and used against him.by someone who is truly mad and cruel.fear for batman is a tool to be used to fight.for Crane sees its like a force,you can rule whole countries through fear afterall

people have gotten used to him and they no longer fear him because they know its just a man,a man who is getting old and eventually they will over power him.he wasnt exacley young when he fought the Joker.....and he is losing his groove

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

I am not a big fan of the Burton movies to be honest but I think what you've come up with so far is pretty good. To be honest, I find it amazing that you are putting so much into it even knowing that there will never come something out of it. Well, that's passion, I guess. I hope when you are finished you'll put this into a proper screenplay in a pdf because to read it this way is kinda exhausting and takes away some of the fun.

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

FEAR THE BATMAN - PART 11
The Shinari swerves and screeches to a stop at the plaza just below the Treadwell Building. Bruce turns to the back seat and pounds it with his fist. The seat rises to reveal a custom metal storage unit. Bruce swipes his thumb over the fingerprint scanner and the compartment opens. Inside are batarangs, a grappling hook, a folded Batsuit and various other gadgets. Bruce grabs a few things and looks at the suit, wishing he had time.

BRUCE: …Just have to improvise…

Cut to Gotham University. Jonathan Crane is at a workspace in a dimly lit laboratory. He pumps yellow fluid into a syringe from a test tube. He taps it gently, holding it up to the light. Jonathan turns around, and the camera reveals what is behind him. A janitor is tied down to a medical bed. He has a gash on his forehead, presumably from where Jonathan hit him. He is struggling. His mouth is gagged. He makes noises, trying to speak.

JONATHAN: Shhh…you should be thanking me. You’re going to be a part of history. First human trial of my concentrated toxin. I promise I’ll acknowledge you correctly in my dissertation…

He injects the toxin into the janitor’s right arm.

JONATHAN: Now I want to know what you’ve got to say.

He rips the tape from the janitor’s face. The janitor screams. He looks at Jonathan. He seems calm for a moment. We see his point-of-view. Jonathan stares at him, puzzled. He appears normal for a moment, until he blinks and moths flutter from his eyes the second he opens them again. The janitor screams.

JONATHAN: What do you see?

Jonathan’s skin seems to dry. Flakes of it fall like snow from his face. But instead of revealing flesh, behind the skin is thousands of moths. Larvae, pupae, cocoons and maggots are densely packed, forming Jonathan Crane. The moths fly away from his face. Wet cracking sounds can be heard, along with the buzzing hum of insects. The moths dart towards the janitor. He screams wildly.

We see Sasha running through the entrance to Gotham University, holding a gun. She hears the janitor’s blood-curdling scream. She alters direction slightly, following the scream.

We see inside the room Black Mask has been filming from. Mayor Grange appears shattered, staring blankly into the air in front of her. Blood is on her face. It appears Black Mask has hurt her. Jeremy’s head is rolled back, the blood from his removed eye still trickling down his face. He is in shock, convulsing. Black Mask is filming, giving commentary.

BLACK MASK: The fun’s not over Gotham. If you thought that was exciting, wait till you see the Batman reveal his true colours, live on television! Any moment now…

Black Mask points the camera to the window.

Sasha finds the laboratory where the screams are coming from. She mutters ‘too late’ to herself. She takes a moment at the door, getting ready. She kicks the door in and points the gun into the dark laboratory. She expects to see Jonathan Crane being tortured, but instead finds him torturing a man.

SASHA: Crane? What?

Jonathan kicks over a metal trolley, which blocks Sasha’s path. He runs into the darkness of the laboratory, where Sasha can no longer see him.

SASHA: …What is this Crane? I want sent here to protect you. I’m not the police. I’m Bruce Wayne’s bodyguard…remember? Black Mask wants you dead.

We hear glass clanging against something. Sasha jolts in reaction.

SASHA: ...Seems like you’ve been a naughty boy, Crane. Maybe you don’t need my protection. But I’m leaving with this man, whatever it takes.

She backs towards the janitor, her gun still directed into the darkness. With her available hand, she begins to untie some of the restraints. The janitor seems vacant now. He has lost his mind. His eyes appear the same as Mayor Grange’s. He shivers slightly.

Jonathan Crane leaps out from behind Sasha, a wet rag in his hand. He holds it over Sasha’s mouth. She breathes for a second, but then kicks him out of the way. He falls to the floor with a thud. We hear his arm break. She grabs the hand with the cloth drenched in toxin. It is his left hand, the same arm that was fractured. She brings the hand up to Crane’s mouth.

SASHA: You reap what you sow, Dr. Crane…

She holds it firmly against his mouth. Crane breathes in, feeling the toxin permeate his lungs. Sasha’s eyes start to move. She feels light-headed. She still breathed enough of the toxin to get some of its effects. The sounds in the room become distant and distorted. She continues to untie the janitor.

We see Jonathan Crane’s perspective. He giggles a little bit, though the laughter seems laced with terror. His voice is thin and fragile. He breathes heavily.

JONATHAN: Reap what you sow….what scares the Scarecrow?

He giggles and this morphs into a scream.

JONATHAN: What scares the Scarecrow?

Sasha is frightened. She moves quickly. The gothic music swells. Jonathan’s sanity appears to be slipping.

JONATHAN: (Yelling) What scares the Scarecrow?!

Sasha has freed the janitor and pulls him over her shoulder. We see her perspective. The walls seem to twist and bend. She feels unbalanced, dizzy. She faces Crane.

SASHA: Calling…the police…I think prison…might scare you….huh?

A sudden crash. Glass shatters. We can hear gas burning. Bright red, round eyes can be seen on the other side of the laboratory. Firefly walks towards them. Sasha runs as fast as she can, struggling with the janitor over her shoulder. She makes it to the hallway. Firefly isn’t concerned. His eyes are fixed on Crane, who slouches beside a bench.

We finally see Jonathan Crane’s perspective. Firefly appears as a demon. Crane sees his mother across the laboratory, yelling and screaming. Firefly uses his flamethrower, sending flames across the laboratory. The hallucination of Crane’s mother groans in agony.

Crane weeps. A dark, gothic chant plays over the scene. He sees Firefly move towards him. Fire begins to swirl around the room. It almost seems prickly in Jonathan’s vision, as though the fire is made of millions of spikes and needles.

Firefly takes the vials of the toxin on the bench. He places them in a sturdy case. There are over twenty vials. He slams the case shut and turns his attention to Crane again.

JONATHAN: (Whimpering) Fire...

FIREFLY: Very well.

Firefly’s voice sounds metallic, drone-like. He raises his flamethrower and torches the area around Jonathan. Crane screams in agony. He sees his mother burning alive. The flames morph into spikes, daggers. We see Firefly’s perspective, and the flames appear to be in the shapes of dancing figures. Dancing women. The score swells. There is a mix of horrific, gothic chanting and a beautiful string melody. We see a wide shot of the entire laboratory, in flames. Firefly stands on the left of the lab, admiring the flames. The flames around him dance and serenade him. In the same shot, the flames continue and extend to the right of the laboratory, where Crane screams wildly, in agony. The flames around him appear as daggers – thin, sharp and harsh jolts of heat. The entire scene is orange.

We see a close-up of Jonathan’s eyes. They stare into the flames. They seem lost.

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruerToTheCore

I am not a big fan of the Burton movies to be honest but I think what you've come up with so far is pretty good. To be honest, I find it amazing that you are putting so much into it even knowing that there will never come something out of it. Well, that's passion, I guess. I hope when you are finished you'll put this into a proper screenplay in a pdf because to read it this way is kinda exhausting and takes away some of the fun.

Thanks. I'm trying to skew the Burton movies a little closer to the comics as a result of the events in this film.

To be honest this is the only way I'll finish it - by posting bit-by-bit at a time. Never written this much of a fan-script before. Usually don't stick with things this long, which is why it's been good to post it like this. But yes, I will put it into a pdf when I'm finished.

In terms of nothing will come out of it, well of course...when have you ever seen fanscripts developed? This is just fun. The something is the script itself. At least when I read it over I can 'see' the movie.

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

Quote:

Originally Posted by red hood 4

I like that Batman has lost his edge. You know he relies on fear to fight crime,but know the fear has been taken away and used against him.by someone who is truly mad and cruel.fear for batman is a tool to be used to fight.for Crane sees its like a force,you can rule whole countries through fear afterall

people have gotten used to him and they no longer fear him because they know its just a man,a man who is getting old and eventually they will over power him.he wasnt exacley young when he fought the Joker.....and he is losing his groove

will you do a sequel with maybe the Riddler?

Good interpretation. I hope to 'get his groove back' by the end though, hence the title. The next scene will help with that...

At the moment just trying to finish this, just making sure I have the staying power to finally write the whole thing. As much as I love Riddler, I don't think I'd use him though.

I'd like to do a Batgirl script sometime, one that doesn't connect to any of the established Batman movies though.

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

Quote:

Originally Posted by kewlmatto

Thanks. I'm trying to skew the Burton movies a little closer to the comics as a result of the events in this film.

I've noticed this.

Quote:

To be honest this is the only way I'll finish it - by posting bit-by-bit at a time. Never written this much of a fan-script before. Usually don't stick with things this long, which is why it's been good to post it like this. But yes, I will put it into a pdf when I'm finished.

Okay.

Quote:

In terms of nothing will come out of it, well of course...when have you ever seen fanscripts developed? This is just fun. The something is the script itself. At least when I read it over I can 'see' the movie.

When I was about 18 I wrote a screenplay for a Batman movie on my PC (powered by Intel 486) called "BATMAN 2000" (yeah, lame!). It featured Hugo Strange and Black Mask, to be honest, I took a lot of stuff directly from the comics. But I think it was pretty epic. Don't have it anymore, though. It was fun to write.

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruerToTheCore

To be honest, I find it amazing that you are putting so much into it even knowing that there will never come something out of it. Well, that's passion, I guess.

I think that's called a labor of love. The satisfaction of completing a fairly ambitious project and being pleased with the final result, as well as the joy of entertaining others who are just as passionate about the character.

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

Great as always Kewl. Take your time. I know it's hard to keep it going, but you've done a LOT so far so im sure the ending is approaching . When it's complete a good amount of us should maybe try to get it out there on the net (if you want to of course) and spread the word.

Maybe nothing will come of it other than some good reads but you have the images, etc that you've been posting and it all sounds very Burton-esque to me. It doesn't sound like a huge stretch from the other 2 movies. So i think it has potential to become a comic or something. Most fanfics i read aren't as detailed, and when they are they usually go overboard. This one sounds like it could be a great graphic novel or just a novel with a few images of Gotham or something.

You're also great with dialogue. I really mean that. That's one thing im not sure of myself, with my fan-fic that im doing. I have some concepts, and images in my mind that i think are great and in line with Nolans trilogy but i haven't tried taking a stab at dialogue yet and mapping it out like a script. But you got that **** down man. Seriously!

Im glad you're not really into doing another one with the Riddler. I think you're version of Black Mask + Scarecrow is a perfect follow-up to Returns. You dont want to lose the focus. How do you approach the love interest angle again for a 4th? You know what i mean? It's perfect going from Vale to Selina to Sasha. Each of them are different but you might not be able to keep that going, amongst other things. So bravo on just doing this story. It's all it needs anyway. A "what if?" scenario for a final Burton story.

__________________"Every time you open that dvd box to watch the Dark Knight, it's actually a slice of baloney. the real movie is in your mind and Nolan performed an Inception on all of us." - tacit-ronin-

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

Quote:

Originally Posted by TruerToTheCore

When I was about 18 I wrote a screenplay for a Batman movie on my PC (powered by Intel 486) called "BATMAN 2000" (yeah, lame!). It featured Hugo Strange and Black Mask, to be honest, I took a lot of stuff directly from the comics. But I think it was pretty epic. Don't have it anymore, though. It was fun to write.

Sounds good. I remember when 'anything 2000' was considered a really hip title! Yep I wrote part of this once before but lost it. Hence why I want to finish it this time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuiECuomo

I think that's called a labor of love. The satisfaction of completing a fairly ambitious project and being pleased with the final result, as well as the joy of entertaining others who are just as passionate about the character.

Keep it up as always, kewl.

Thanks Lui. Yep, just imagining the film in my mind is great! I hope others see it in similar ways too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shauner111

Great as always Kewl. Take your time. I know it's hard to keep it going, but you've done a LOT so far so im sure the ending is approaching . When it's complete a good amount of us should maybe try to get it out there on the net (if you want to of course) and spread the word.

Maybe nothing will come of it other than some good reads but you have the images, etc that you've been posting and it all sounds very Burton-esque to me. It doesn't sound like a huge stretch from the other 2 movies. So i think it has potential to become a comic or something. Most fanfics i read aren't as detailed, and when they are they usually go overboard. This one sounds like it could be a great graphic novel or just a novel with a few images of Gotham or something.

You're also great with dialogue. I really mean that. That's one thing im not sure of myself, with my fan-fic that im doing. I have some concepts, and images in my mind that i think are great and in line with Nolans trilogy but i haven't tried taking a stab at dialogue yet and mapping it out like a script. But you got that **** down man. Seriously!

Im glad you're not really into doing another one with the Riddler. I think you're version of Black Mask + Scarecrow is a perfect follow-up to Returns. You dont want to lose the focus. How do you approach the love interest angle again for a 4th? You know what i mean? It's perfect going from Vale to Selina to Sasha. Each of them are different but you might not be able to keep that going, amongst other things. So bravo on just doing this story. It's all it needs anyway. A "what if?" scenario for a final Burton story.

Thanks for the encouraging words Shauner! Yep I'm really looking at this as the end of the Burton 'trilogy'. Particularly in terms of the love interest, too. Sasha was always my favourite of Batman's love interests (until she went to Checkmate), because she really seemed like his equal. So I want that to be shown later. While Selina will always be important, she is chaotic and not incredibly loyal. Sasha is dependable and believes similar things as Bruce. So I'd like to leave a sense of this lasting, unlike Vicki and Selina.

The big action scene I've been posting is really the middle act. So there's the third act to go now, where Scarecrow becomes the primary villain. Still quite a bit to write. And after this next post, Batman is seen by Gotham as something to fear.

Looking forward to seeing what you come up with for the Nolanverse. I enjoy dialogue the most really, I guess it comes from being such a moviegeek.

There is silence again, until a small object smashes the window. It rolls along the floor. A smokebomb. Yellow gas releases. It is followed by a shadowy figure who charges into the room. Bruce Wayne has ripped his tuxedo jacket into a mask which covers his face from the nose down. It also wraps over his hair, leaving only his eyes and eyebrows visible. The yellow gas fills the room. Black Mask begins to laugh.

BLACK MASK: You brought your happy gas. Now Gotham gets to see what you truly are. Heh.

Black Mask laughs hysterically, interrupted by spluttering coughs. He drops the camera. It falls to the ground. The footage we see is on an angle, but Mayor Grange and Jeremy can still be seen tied up. We hear the sound of a batarang flying across the room. It hits Black Mask and he lets out a howl. Batman moves over to him and punches him, hard. Black Mask picks up a fire extinguisher and twirls it from the hose. It hits Batman in the side. Yellow gas permeates the room.

Batman kicks Black Mask in the head, sending him to the ground. We see a shot of Mayor Grange and Jeremy. They are beginning to feel the effects of the toxin. They both cough and struggle.

BLACK MASK: Really, you’re helping me finish my job. Best way to help a Mayor lose her mind? Feed her a part of her son and then dose her up on hallucinogens.

Batman looks at Mayor Grange’s face. Around her mouth is dried blood. Black Mask forced her to eat Jeremy’s eye. Batman is furious. He grabs Black Mask by the neck and throws him across the room, sending him into a wall. The action loosens Batman’s improvised mask slightly. He moves again to Black Mask and punches him, hard in the face. He begins to beat into Black Mask’s face, left and right, punching almost in a rhythm. Black Mask laughs hysterically.

The camera picks this up, as the two are now behind the hostages. We see Black Mask’s perspective. The toxin has taken hold. Shreck sees a zombie-like ninja, whose mask is beginning to disappear like smoke. His eyes are red. The room around him shakes.

We hear the loud thuds of each punch, until Black Mask is knocked out, cold. Batman’s mask has slipped off. With the camera’s angle and the gas in the room, it picks up only a murky image of Bruce’s face. He moves to Mayor Grange and begins to untie her hands, which are now stained with blood from her struggling. She looks at Bruce Wayne in terror.

MAYOR: --It’s you!!! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!

Her scream is wild; deafening.

MAYOR: Don’t touch me!

We see her perspective. We see Bruce Wayne seemingly morphed with Black Mask, so his skin appears black and leathery. His eyes are red. He holds out a large rusted utensil with bloody dismembered eyes attached to it, forcing it towards her face.

MAYOR: Get away from me!!! Get away!!!

Mayor Grange’s reactions to Bruce even getting close to helping her are so wild that she seems she might hurt herself by struggling to get away from him. She looks at him with such incredible terror. The camera shows her face. Police sirens can be heard approaching. The Batman theme swells. Bruce jumps out the window, a grappling gun ready in his hand.

We see a shot of him falling several stories from the tall building. His face is troubled. Danny Elfman’s theme plays loudly. His fall is intercut with footage of Mayor Grange’s eyes, which have lost their grip on reality. We see Black Mask’s footage as it has been aired on television, with the GNN logo and news-crawl. The text on the screen reads LIVE FOOTAGE: THE BATMAN REVEALED BY TERRORIST BLACK MASK. We hear the thud of a S.W.A.T. team entering the room holding Grange and her son. They storm into the area. We see a shot of Sasha at Gotham University. Emergency vehicles surround the entrance, with fire fighters extinguishing the flame. We see paramedics trying to save Jonathan Crane’s life. His face is hidden by a compression mask used to help burns. We see Sasha looking towards him, being treated yards away for minor cuts. We see another shot of the news, looping footage of the Batman/Black Mask confrontation. Bruce’s face can’t quite be identified, but the news zooms in on the footage, which appears grainy. The text on the screen reads: BATMAN USES CHEMICAL WEAPONS. TERRORISES HOSTAGE MAYOR GRANGE. A subtitle is beneath the text. We see an extreme closeup of the words. SHOULD WE FEAR THE BATMAN? We see a closeup of Bruce’s hand, holding the grappling gun. He fires it. As the grappling gun begins to swing him forward, we see the Gotham sky revealed behind him. The Batsignal lights the sky.

Re: Fear the Batman - fan-fic third Keaton/Burton Batman film - Part 1 of first draft

You know what would be cool, kewl? In the unused "BATMAN: THE FRIGHTENING" script, there's a bit where Batman nearly drowns but manages to pull himself to dry land, and there's a mechanism in the Batsuit that performs automatic resuscitation on him. The way it was described made it sound like the individual panels and little ribbings of the torso area start moving around and compressing. Always thought that was a cool idea, and it would be fun if you found a way to work it into your script.