10:45 p.m. . . . 16 year old Jamie Collins was in the living room with her mom, dad, 2 brothers and 1 sister; Kim, Joe, Jake, Nick, and Roxxi, watching TV together on the couch, while everyone but Jamie was drinking red stuff that Jamie didn’t know about.“Hey mom, what’s the red stuff that you’re drinking?” Jamie asked,“It’s. . . Juice.” answered Kim in a nervous and mysterious way,“Oh. . . But it doesn’t look like juice.” said Jamie,“It looks more like. . . Blood. . .” “Well it’s not blood sis.” said Nick to Jamie,“Well okay then.” said Jamie. Jamie was curious if that “juice” is actually blood, and if her family was hiding something from her.“So mom, what are we going to watch on TV?” Jamie asked,“We’re going to watch “Hatchet.” answered Kim“Isn’t that the movie about a psycho guy with a hatchet that kills people?” asked Roxxi“Yeah.” answered Jake. The movie started and the 6 of them started to watch the movie when it started.11:00 p.m. . . .“Whoa!” said Jake when he saw the killer killing in the movie “I’m gonna have nightmares tonight.” said Jamie“Dude, you always get nightmares every night, and no dreams!” said Nick“Oh right.” said Jamie“So?” “So I think it’s a bad thing to have nightmares every night.” said Nick“It’s not bad to me.” said Jamie“Well still. . .” said Nick“(Yawn) I’m getting tired guys, I’m gonna go to bed.” said Jamie“Ok then, goodnight Jamie.” said Kim So Jamie got up from the couch and she started to walk to her room, which was across the hall to the left from her.“Goodnight you guys.” said Jamie. She walked over to her room and she closed the door behind her. She went over to the dresser and she took out a black tank-top and a short black pajama bottom and put them on her bed. She started to take off her black T-shirt and her black jeans. She then took her tank-top from her bed and put it over her head and put it on, and then she took the bottom part of the pajamas and slipped them on. She then turned off the lights and she went to her bed and she put her sheets over her body and she started to fall asleep.

THE NEXT DAY. . .

Saturday morning; it was 11:30 a.m., and Jamie just woke up; she rubbed her eyes and she stretched out her arms. She got out of bed and she took out a hair band and tied up her long, black hair in a ponytail. She then walked over to the bathroom, she locked the door behind her, she went over to the shower and she turned the hot water on. She took out fresh clothes; a black T-shirt, black pajama bottom and a towel from the bathroom dresser and she started to take off her clothes. She got in the shower and she instantly got wet. She was washing her hair and she washed her arms. 15 minutes later, Jamie got out of the shower and she wrapped her towel around her body. She took her clothes and started to put them on. She opened the door and got out of the bathroom and she walked downstairs; where Kim, Joe, Jake, Nick, and Roxxi were in the living room, wahtching TV.“Well, look whose finally up.” said Kim“I over slept a little bit.” said Jamie“Well, you’re up now.” said Kim“Yep.” said Jamie.“Oh there’s one thing we got to tell you.” said Kim“What is it?” asked Jamie“There’s going to be a guy coming here in probably 2 days to uh. . . check something out.” nervously said Kim“Which is . . .?” asked Jamie“. . . I can’t really tell you sweetie.” nervously said Kim“Why not mom?” asked Jamie“Because . . . we don’t know why. . .” nervously said Kim Jamie gave a curious look out to her mom, as if her mom knows why the guy is coming to their house.“Well okay then. . .” said Jamie,“. . . Can I sit with you guys and watch TV?” “Of course sweetie.” said Kim. Jamie went up to the couch and sat between Joe and Jake. And Jamie just noticed that everyone but herself was wearing a long-sleeve shirt. Jamie wasn’t curious about that, until she saw Nick; which he was on the left side of Jamie, with part of his long-sleeve shirt pulled up a little bit. Jamie saw that Nick’s arm was really pale, and it looked like Nick has a long, black scar, as if he was cut by a small knife. Nick turned to Jamie and he saw that she saw his arm. He quickly pulled the sleeve down to the palm of his hand, as if Nick had something to hide. And he looked back at the TV like nothing happened. Now Jamie was curious about this. She looked back at the TV, still curious, and she wondered if the rest of her family has the same scar as Nick. She decides to ignore it and just continue to watch TV.“Hey mom, can I go outside?” asked Jamie“Sure sweetie.” answered Kim. So Jamie got up from the couch and she went towards the door. She opened the door and she went out the front yard. She looked around to see if anyone was around, and she saw 3 of her best friends; Alexis, Lilly, and Victoria coming up to her.“Hey guys, what’s up?” asked Jamie“Nothing, we just wanted to hang out with our best friend for a while.” answered Victoria“Cool, so since you’re here, what do you guys wanna do?” asked Jamie“You wanna just talk about stuff?” asked Alexis“What kind of stuff should we talk about?” asked Jamie“Anything.” answered Alexis“Okay then.” said Jamie. The 3 girls sat next to Jamie on the front porch step.“So how’s it going with you guys?” asked Jamie“Nothing much, how about you?” asked Victoria“Same here.” answered Jamie The 4 girls looked over at the front of the gate and they saw a guy that had long, black hair, was wearing a black sweater, and had black pants, and he walked by Jamie’s house, and he looked over at Jamie, like he liked her. And the girls started to look at Jamie, as if they knew he was flirting with Jamie.“Did you see that guy?” asked Lilly“He was so cute! And he was looking at you Jamie.” the 3 girls look at Jamie as if they know that the guy really liked Jamie.“So? I don’t even know him.” said Jamie“Anyways, let’s change the subject. . . What have you guys been doing?” “Um . . . actually we’ve been. . . Um . . . playing.” nervously answered Alexis. Then Jamie looked down on her 3 friend’s hands and she saw some red stuff on the palm of their hand.“Uh Lilly, what’s that on your hand?” asked Jamie“Oh . . . uh. . . It’s . . . ketchup.” nervously answered Lilly,“I . . . just ate, and I think I got some ketchup on my hand. . .” “Uh. . . We got to go.” said Alexis. The 3 girls stood up and they left Jamie all alone in the front porch. Jamie was very curious and she knew that something was wrong with her friends and family, like they were hiding something from her. Jamie was also curious about that red stuff on their hands; she knew that it wasn’t ketchup, but she didn’t know what it really was. She went back in the house looking curious. Jamie went in and she saw her family on the couch, but with the TV off.“Hey sweetie, what are you doing in here so fast?” asked Kim“My friends just came over and I saw some red stuff on their hands and when I asked them what the red stuff was, they acted really weird and left.” answered Jamie“Then what did you think the red stuff on their hands were sweetie?” asked Joe“It looked a lot like. . . Blood. . .” answered Jamie“Blood?” asked Joe“Yeah.” answered Jamie“Um. . . It was probably paint or something.” said Joe“Oh. . . Kay then.” said Jamie“(Yawn). I guess I’m still tired. I’m gonna go take a little nap in my room.” “Okay sweetie, we’ll be right here.” said Kim. So Jamie walked back upstairs and she got to her room, she opened the door and closed the door behind her. She turned off the lights and she went to her bed and she lies down on her bed on her back with her arms and legs crossed. She slowly closed her eyes and she started to sleep. As she was sleeping, she was having a strange dream; it was at Alexis’s house. Her 3 friends and her family were all there; and there was a guy wearing a dark-grey T-shirt and black jeans. He looked scared for some reason. Then suddenly, her friends and family turned pale, their eyes were turning red, and they were growing FANGS really fast!!! They slowly came up to the guy and they grabbed him! They held his head and they were getting ready to BITE him!!! Jamie was Tossing and turning with fear while she was sleeping. One of them quickly bit the guy’s neck and arms!!! Jamie quickly woke up sweating and panting hard. Her heartbeat was going very fast and she was very scared from her nightmare. It felt like she was asleep for only about 10 minutes. So Jamie got out of bed so that she won’t have that same experience in her nightmares, and she went back downstairs to her family. She got back downstairs and she saw her family drinking the mysterious red stuff again on the couch.“Hey again sleepy head.” said Kim“Huh?” asked Jamie with confusion“You were sleeping for 2 hours,” said Kim“It’s already 1:30 p.m.” “But I thought I was sleeping for like 10 minutes.” said Jamie“Well I’m not lying, you must have been really tired sweetie.” said Kim“I guess I am pretty tired.” said Jamie. Jamie was a little confused that she slept for 2 hours and didn’t even know it. She decided to ignore it and just think about something else.“Hey mom, can I go to Alexis’s house?” asked Jamie“Sure sweetie.” answered Kim“Why?” “Because. . . I want to hang out with them.” nervously answered Jamie“Okay then.” said Kim. Kim gave a curious look to Jamie and Jamie wanted to go to Alexis’s house to see if her nightmare was real and the guy was still there and to see if she was crazy. She went to the door, opened it and left the house. She immediately noticed that it was dark. She looked around to see if anyone was around, but she saw no one but houses and bushes. She started to walk over to Alexis’s house, which was a block away from her house, and then as she was walking to Alexis’s house, Jamie started to hear people quietly calling her name saying “Jamie, join us. . .” repeatedly. Jamie was scared, so she started to walk faster, but she still heard the voices, so she started to run.

Welp, as I promised, here's the story I wrote YEARS ago~ o3o/ Too bad it's not finished~ Oh well~ :I The writing was horrible anyways~ xD And the characters.......dear god why? XDDDDD I can't believe I used those names. XP

I really love how this fic is written like a glorified shopping list. Paragraphs aren't really all that important. And imagery? Screw that stupid shit; dialogue is all that a story needs. The best part, though, is how I can tell that you wrote this without having a clue how the English language works.

"Saturday morning; it was 11:30 a.m., and Jamie just woke up; she rubbed her eyes and she stretched out her arms."

"She then walked over to the bathroom, she locked the door behind her, she went over to the shower and she turned the hot water on."

"Nick turned to Jamie and he saw that she saw his arm. He quickly pulled the sleeve down to the palm of his hand, as if Nick had something to hide. And he looked back at the TV like nothing happened. Now Jamie was curious about this."

Beautiful. I could barely understand what you wrote and that's the key to writing something: confusing the crap out of your reader. That way, everything is a mystery. It really builds up suspense. Plus, all the punctuation is used incorrectly, furthering the quality of this story. I mean, who the hell would ever look this stuff up on the net? That would take forever and would be so tedious to carry out. Some of us have lives, y'know?

I'm sorry but did anyone ask you? I wrote this a LONG time ago when I was still barely learning to write. So yeah, it's NOT gonna be that good of a format. -.- And why would you take the time to read my "awful story" when it's SUCH a waste of time to you? Probably because you yourself have no life. And who are you to judge when you have nothing in your gallery just like you have nothing in your brain or your pants? C: