Category Archives: Humor

Police officers arrested Tina Turner this week on suspicion of arson, reckless endangerment, and insurance fraud, following allegations that the legendary R&B singer burned down her legs for financial gain.

The witty writers of the Onion are playing off of the many recent news stories of cars and homes burning for insurance money. I especially like this section of the story:

“At first it appeared to be just another accidental fire,” lead detective Jason Hendricks said. “However, something about Ms. Turner’s story didn’t add up. She claimed to have gone to the store, only to return an hour later and find her lower half already in flames. Yet evidence seems to suggest that Ms. Turner was at the scene of the crime the entire time.”

In uncertain times like these, we can all use a good laugh. Thanks, Onion.

In October more than $50 billion in adjustable-rate home mortgages in the U.S. will be reset. A lot of those borrowers will be in for a shock as they find they can no longer afford their homes. Most will quietly refinance or just find a way to cover the higher mortgage. Some will lose their homes in foreclosure, and still others will take the desperate option of attempting to transfer their financial problem to their insurance company.

Are insurers ready for the potential increase in home arsons? Are fire investigators on alert? Since sub-prime mortgages hit the news earlier this year, we’ve put this issue on our watchlist to determine whether there’s an uptick in people torching their homes. We haven’t seen much of an increase yet, but it bears watching.

From this morning’s Daily Mash (warning: the following contains profanity):

CONTROLLED EXPLOSIONS LINKED TO INSURANCE SCAM

DOZENS of cars blown-up across the UK in the wake of the failed terror attacks are part of an elaborate insurance scam, the Daily Mash has learned.

Car owners, unable to sell their old vehicles, are paying up to £50 to have them destroyed in controlled explosions. The owners then claim the write-off value of the car from their insurance companies who agree to pay-out because the car has been blown-up.

Wayne Hayes, an insurance expert, said: “Why pay £20 to have it stolen by some bobble-head drug addict who’ll then make an arse of it? “Pay a little bit more and the car will be totally fucked-up by professionals with absolutely impeccable credentials.

“Insurance companies are hardly likely to start poking their noses in at a time like this. It would be unpatriotic.”

One unamed explosives official said: “With rising interest rates, the odd cash-in-hand job is very welcome. “If blowing up a Saab 900 means a nice pair of shoes for my Angela, then I’m happy to oblige.

“And as insurance companies are all complete shits, it’s a victimless crime.”