Save money on getting a car check when buying a new car
Simply enter the make/model/reg into webuyanycar, for free, and they will refuse to buy it if there is outstanding finance or its a bit dodgy.
(robneymcplumNeed a job, GAZ me, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:29,
10 replies,
latest was 3 years ago)

Make your boss think you're ill
by coughing and spluttering and sneezing for a couple of days, and then calling in sick.
(Je suis un vagabondis an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:40,
Reply)

If you accidentally give your lady the flaming fanny by forgetting to wash your hands after cutting up chilis
one way of helping to soothe it is to keep on going. Semen will help wash away the capsaicin. Added win: her fanny will feel extra warm for you too from all the blood flowing to the inflamed tissues.

Just be sure that it was done accidentally lest she rip your nadgers off like a paper towel.
(The Resident LoonNot a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 19 Feb 2012, 22:00,
1 reply,
3 years ago)

Don't use nasty chemicals
Middle Eastern police - you don't have to break up riots with nasty old tear gas. Why not take a more homeopathic approach to irritating the lachrymatory response- read all the protesters a sad story about a scared lost kitten who has just seen its mummy run over by a motorbike and it doesn't know how to get home.
(Rotating Wobbly HatThat's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 22:08,
1 reply,
3 years ago)

Adding some gravy to your red wine
Is an excellent way to get asked to leave boring dinner parties.
(Eukanuba, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 13:42,
Reply)

Pizza tastes 100% nicer
When reheated using a George Foreman grill or similar. Try it next time you have left over Pizza Hut / Dominos. The cheese goes all crispy.
(TheManWithThePlancussed your mum on, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 19:38,
Reply)

Women with excessively large breasts.
Save money on expensive breast reduction surgery by simply asking people to look at your breasts through wrong way round binoculars.
(2 Can ChunderChristmas usernames are for paedophiles, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 15:31,
1 reply,
3 years ago)

Women with small breasts.
Avoid expensive breast surgery (and the potential hazards of exploding implants) by simply asking people to look at your breasts through binoculars.
(2 Can ChunderChristmas usernames are for paedophiles, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 15:29,
Reply)

Sell out to a corporate holiday that is basically just "women's day"
by changing everyone's icon to a heart

Pretend you are popular
By registering on Sickidates just to pass the time, going no further, and enjoy being bombarded with emails you cant stop, at all hours of the day and night, no matter what you do. This works best with a blackberry or other push email mobile phone. You can then enjoy being awoken with a random message from a posible match in a country you have never been, or have any interest in going to. Even more fun when your missus or girlfriend gets to your phone first.

Do whatever you like in the UK and avoid arrest for anything
by simply refusing to offically recognise the law of Her Majesty's Government.
(Je suis un vagabondis an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 7 Feb 2012, 11:38,
Reply)

The saying, "crime never pays" is just a piece of government propaganda
to hide the fact that the police force is hopeless at apprehending criminals and just hopes that people are too stupid to realise they can probably get away with doing anything they want.
(wehttammanvia B3ta for microwave, Tue 7 Feb 2012, 3:28,
Reply)