Ender’s Game

Bonzo: welcome to battle school the only thing you need to know about life up here is that we only have two kinds of swearing “fart face” and vicious racial slurs

Ender: oh

Bonzo: we’ll kill you as soon as look at you but we’ll never say “shit”

Peter: now that Ender has gone to space to become a general, we must do our part to change humanity

Valentine: absolutely what should we do

Peter: let’s leave comments about political theory on the internet until the government offers us jobs

Alai: Ender let’s kiss

Ender: yes unrelatedly, gays and Jews?

Alai: monstrous, both of them also, unrelatedly we call our greatest enemies the “buggers” but don’t read too much into it it’s just a longer, more difficult way of saying bugs that has nothing to do with the more common definition of the term

The President: look at this

Secretary of State: Sir?

The President: someone is talking about John Locke online give them my job at once

Secretary of State: Yes, sir

Bug Ghost: Ender we knew you would come and we knew you didn’t mean to genocide us please don’t feel bad about it the genociding see when we were murdering you we thought we were actually just disfiguring you we were just trying to cripple your society, not murder it so it was all just a big misunderstanding