Common issue with all BD's?

I have noticed that on this board with expecting moms all the posts are the same and it is really pissing me off...

Why is it that these men (sorry I know there are great single dads out there) can take off and decide if they want to be parents? Meanwhile the woman are faced with being alone and scared and ultimately raising these babies alone. I don't know how many times I read the same post about if the dad wants to be in the babies life...etc. Why do they get to choose when and if they want to be a father? How come these men feel it is okay to get someone pregnant and walk away? What is wrong with this generation of men? What happened to being a real man and taking responsibility for ones actions..

I know we can't make someone be a parent if they don't want to, but why don't they want to take care of their own flesh and blood? This goes for the CD's too. They feel that since they are involved in their childs life when it is convenient, it makes them daddy of the year. It just really irks me I guess...

I have a SD for my oldest who has never been there. and a CD for my youngest who thinks he is a great father, but really isn't. Maybe I am just bitter, but I needed to vent, because it is always the same story with these absent dads..

Comments (18)

It's ok I feel the same way. My sons father is eowe and he thinks he's fabulous meanwhile he doesn't give a flying crap (edited ) to call him at all during the week sick.well on holidays his birthday things like that. If it's not his time he doesn't care. On the other hand my daughter's bio dad has never seen her a day in his life and doesn't want to either. His sister took up for him and she doesn't even want to see her. What is up with people lately

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Kristen

Mommy to Alejandro Liam 01/30/05 and Chloe Adelinde 05/29/2008 with a little BOY due 08/10/2009!!

SD is completely gone. I heard from him for the first time in a few years about a month ago.

CD thinks he is dad of the year because he sees DD for a few hours on Sat., meanwhile, he never calls during the week to see how she is doing. Almost as if she is non-existent unless it is his "visiting hours" on Saturday.

Its hard when you are in a situation like that at first. You want to give the dad the benefit of the doubt. I think most people want to see the best in other people.(especially someone they slept with or were in a relationship with.) So they give them a shot, or 5 to be the parent they shoudl be.

I have learned not to take anything my sons father says at face value and plan on making it very hard for him to be a fairweather parent. But at first it was really hard. I dont think anyone dreams about raising a child alone. You have to get past a great deal of denial and anger to accept it sometimes.

and what does CD mean?

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Ander James is here!! 8/18/09

“Tolerating others is the price we pay for being tolerated ourselves.” -Dan Savage

Zane's CD (turned when we moved) called the other day and told Zane that he would get $50 if he got all A's on his grade card at the end of the year. After Zane told me this, I out and out told Zane not to count on it. He hasn't actually purchased a gift for his son in well over a year. (His parents do all the purchasing and allow him to put his name on one.)

Adam's SD isn't much better. Now that we have the formal diagnosis for Adam's Asperger's, things have gotten a lot better here at home. But, things haven't changed at all with his father. It's like SD is going to raise Adam the way HE wants, and to heck with what Adam NEEDS.

Thanks for the definition of CD. I love it, I didn't realize but that is what my son. A dad when he feels like playing Daddy, suppose to have him on Sundays but I never know, such as now it is noon and I haven't heard from him.

Well maybe i am going to get lynched here as being that i am a single parent The only differance is I am both a dad and mom to my 2 kids Yes a single dad but i have to say I totally agree and am ashamed at some of the so called dads out there How and I can never ever understand this they can just walk away from there responsabilities Maybe they dont get on with the mom but the baby did not ask for this

I was brought up to respect women to get up when a lady has no seat on a bus and only for the same people who have gave me so much support on this borad I think i would have gone mad I can never understand what the problem is with some men All it trakes is to be there for the child to try and provide for it and to make the childs life stress free but no that is not for them I am ashamed to say they are the fools and i once again apoligise for them Thank God I am not one of them

All i can say to the ladies who have been left in that situation is Well Done You should be very very proud of yourselves and you dont need the so called fathers Take Care

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John Cavanagh Single Dad in Ireland

When life gets you down just look at your kids and thats the ray of sunshine you need

I'ts all my fault that my ex-h hasn't seen his kids in almost five years. I keep them in such great hiding that he can't find them and I also take all his money in child (and spousal) support so that he can't buy anything for himself. Okay, maybe just a little sarsactice. I can't spell.

~Angela

The real deal. I got a PO box just for him to corrosponde with me and kids. I still live in the state that we lived in when he left. I get 0 money and don't buy anything for myself.

My son's CD is the greatest dad in the world because he pays child support and his son calls him daddy. OK I 'm being sarcastic.

But he has actually said that he is better than most dad's out there because of the 2 things listed above. Under our child support agreement he is supposed to have my son a day and a half once a week. He only see's him every other week or once a month for like an hour. But the way I see it, if he doesn't want to spend time with my son then my son is better off only seeing him once in a while.

I think I'll get lynched more for this, but I think the common thread is they were all losers when we got involved with them. We saw what we wanted to see, we thought they would change, we believed their crap. There are great guys out there, but the key is no one is bitching about them so we don't hear about them. We hear about all these guys because we all need help and support to deal with them. If we are honest with ourselves and face reality we can see they always had one foot out the door the life changing baby event is just what causes them to run the rest of the way.