George Cloney Teases Surprise Bonnaroo Collab With "Greatest Guitar Player of All Time"

Produced clandestinely at a California cloning facility, Los Angeles hip-hop duo Cloney are not your average MCs. Like their human counterpart, George Clooney, the Cloney twins are devilishly handsome with their salt-and-pepper locks, designer fashions, and unlimited earning potential. They rap anonymously -- but not really -- about cunnilingus, "Lazy Shit," and modern art, among other things, and radiate chemically compounded celebrity charm.

Performance artists in every sense of the term, the pair believes that "everyone is just a bunch of mirrors nowadays." They explain in their Bonnaroo bio, "so and so is just a copy of the so and so before them and so on."

But Cloney is different. In fact, Cloney may be the most different act performing at Bonnaroo this year.

"We're currently driving through Mulholland Canyon," says George Cloney, probably on his way to visit a set of Stacy Keibler clones. He and partner George Cloney can't tell New Times where they're headed but do reveal some secrets about their upcoming set at Bonnaroo.

"You can expect to see one of the greatest guitar players of all time come out and do a song with us," Cloney says. "You can also expect to see one of the biggest movie stars -- besides George Clooney -- come out and do songs with us."

Like Terry Benedict's casino vault in Ocean's 11, Cloney hijacked Clooney's celebrity Rolodex, ensuring that the duo's Bonnaroo deflowering would be memorable. In fact, the guitar god, who will "absolutely not" be identified until the festival, actually contacted Cloney personally, according to Cloney.

"He hasn't played a show in about 50 years. Fifty. Years," he says, emphasizing the unnamed legend's five-decade gap between shows. "He's always wanted to play Bonnaroo."

Cloney admits that the group is "very well-connected," allowing it the creative freedom to collaborate with just about any artist it wants.

"Hollywood is greater than just the actor counterpart," he says. "There is also a music counterpart. When you are involved in the world of Hollywood, [you realize that] musicians come and go, as do actors."

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