Leader of the Council, Iain Malcolm has always loved a bit of a parade especially if he’s leading it.

Mr Monkey knows that Iain Malcolm has an ego worthy of any power mad Roman emperor. His need to be centre stage overides everything and usually ends up with Malcolm looking like a twat!

Last year Mr Monkey remembers seeing a weird picture in the Malcolm Fanzine Gazette featuring Iain Malcolm in an over-sized boys brigade uniform, complete with a twirling baton. You know what they say about men with a uniform fetish, well Mr Monkey has heard it’s all true.

Mr Monkey has had a discreet word with Iain’s number one fan, Irene Lucas, and can now reveal that next year’s Cookson Parade will be a the most colourful ever and Iain will be asked to lead it.