Left of Center (Turner) and Center of Center (Phelps) are screenwriters with satirical views on random headlines of the day. As one conservative Republican puts it: "..to me, it's not funny." and "...I think it is a bad reflection overall and frankly doesn't make me guffaw."

Monday, November 08, 2004

Now That You’ve Been Fraudulently Disenfranchised, Let the Healing Begin

Do you wonder why there was such a huge disparity between the exit polls and the actual results? Isn’t it strange that the largest differences between exit polls that predicted a Kerry landslide in precincts actually “won” by Bush were the precincts that used voting machines? Republican pollsters are claiming that it is just a strange statistical anomaly. Besides, people are generally ashamed to have voted Republican and so must have lied about it to the pollsters. As much as I would sympathize with anyone who is ashamed of voting for Bush, I have a simpler explanation: Voter fraud.

"To believe that Bush won the election, you must also believe: That the exit polls were wrong; that Zogby's 5pm election day calls for Kerry winning Ohio and
Florida were wrong (he was exactly right in his 2000 final poll); that Harris'last-minute polling for Kerry was wrong (he was exactly right in his 2000 final poll); that incumbent rule #1 – undecideds (sic) break for the challenger - was wrong; That the 50% rule - an incumbent doesn't do better than his final polling - was wrong; That the approval rating rule - an incumbent with less than 50% approval will most likely lose the election - was wrong; that it was just a coincidence that the exit polls were correct where there was a paper trail and incorrect (+5% for Bush) where there was no paper trail; that the surge in new young voters had no positive effect for Kerry; that Kerry did worse than Gore against an opponent who lost the support of scores of Republican newspapers who were for Bush in 2000; that voting machines made by Republicans with no paper trail and with no software publication, which have been proven by thousands of computer scientists to be vulnerable in scores of ways, were not tampered with in this election."

Consider this:

Over 1,100 reports of voting machine malfunctions nationwide (the ones we know about)

In Broward County, Florida, that bastion of democratic organization, machines started counting backward when votes went over 32,000

A single precinct in Franklin County, Ohio gave Bush 3,893 extra votes – how many precincts are there in Ohio?