My stories highlight and explore the major stories of the day through the lens of education, power and innovation. A senior editor at Forbes, I edit the America's Top Colleges, 30 Under 30, Most Powerful People and 100 Most Powerful Women packages. I didn't start here. It's been a winding road through the halls of People,The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, AP and Village Voice. Email: choward@forbes.com Twitter @CarolineLHoward

As it’s the parenting-anxiety season, here comes North Carolina dad Tommy Jordan, now famous for outing his teenage daughter’s Facebook posting and shooting up her laptop with a .45 for all the YouTube world to see–22M views and counting. You must have seen it: He’s Marlboro Man rugged, sporting a cowboy hat and smoking a cigarette, his voice as tempered as steel.

He is pissed. The video starts with him reading a printout of a post his 15-year-old daughter, Hannah, put on her Facebook wall the day previous, titled, “To My Parents.” It begins:

I’m not your damned slave. It’s not my responsibility to clean up your sh*t. We have a cleaning lady for a reason…If you want coffee, get off your ass and make it yourself…You tell me at least once a day to get a job. You could just pay me for all the sh*t I do around the house. I have to do dishes, clean the counter tops, all the floors, make all the beds, do the laundry and get the trash…If I don’t, I get grounded.

The only thing left for Jordan to do is choke out the words: “Pay. You!? For chores? Seriously!” Noting also that the sum total of time spent doing her daily checklist of chores clocks in at under 15 minutes, he says, “You don’t have that hard a life.”

As Susanna Schrobsdorff notes on Time.com, “That’s the exquisite irony in all this. We parents have created the instruments of our own torture–both the teens and their toys.” Here’s the flip-side to this parent-child imbroglio:

Skip The In-My-Day Speeches

Jordan, who did not return a request for comment, sanctimoniously rattles off all he he had to do at his daughter’s age–”I moved out of the house, lived on my own, went to college while in high school, worked two jobs, was a volunteer fireman.” In the very next breath, though, he says, “I just spent half my day and $130 in software upgrading your computer.” He also alludes to her cellphone, camera, iPod and other electronics too numerous to name–all he likely paid for.

That’s because it’s very difficult to incentivize values. “You can get kids to pick up their room but you can’t incentivize them to love a clean room,” says Gans. “You have to wait for reason and maturity, and then hope.”

Hand Out Pocket Money

Gans, the economist, says pocket money is a tried-and-true way to teach fiscal responsibility and independence. When his son lost his cell phone (and part of a school uniform), the replacement came out of savings from allowance, not dad’s credit card. Ditto for the time his daughter wanted to extend summer camp an extra two weeks. This case highlights how some parents, unlike Jordan, tie children’s chores to an allowance.

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Hello Caroline, I just wanted to let you know I enjoyed the article on the man who shot the computer. Frankly, when the video first appeared I had a lot of trouble watching it. What those of us raised in the South do NOT need is another person contributing to the short-tempered, gun-toting stereotype. It was nice to read something calm and thoughtful about this sad incident. Teenagers test and push–that’s their job–and I think the chores argument has to be as old as time. You are so right; this parent missed a golden opportunity to do something better. Not to mention it might have been nice to hear him teach his daughter about respecting the “cleaning lady” as a person. Anyway, thanks for taking some of the ugliness out of a story that really rubbed me the wrong way. Have a great week, Karen

” . . . so how is she supposed to view (literally) this act of retribution.” REALLY? So, you REALLY think she couldn’t view this video on somebody else’s computer? She’s famous!! She had friends falling at her feet, begging her to view the video on their laptops.

The only mistake Mr. Jordan made was not using a shotgun. That would’ve been much more destructive and fun to watch.

HOW HANNAH GOT CAUGHT HOW SHE GOT CAUGHT: The Dog Did It.. no, really.

I finally came out and told her this today, partly because it was too funny NOT to share.

When my daughter made her post, she used Facebook’s privacy settings to block “Family” and “Church” friend’s lists. All her other friends could see it. We, of course could not.

One of our dogs is always getting in photos and therefore has her own Facebook pa…ge. It’s just a cute dumb thing we did for fun. Well, the dog’s profile is rarely used except when funny pictures of her are posted. Since that’s not too often, and she has very few friends on Facebook, her wall is kind of bare, with relatively few posts showing up on it.

The other night we gave the dog a bath and there was a funny photo we uploaded to Facebook and tagged her in. I logged in as the dog the next morning to comment on the photo. However when I logged into the dog’s profile, my daughter had forgotten to add her to the “family” list…. so our family dog’s profile showed her post right there on the front page.

It wasn’t any parent-hacking, computer spying, or monitoring of any kind.. the dog actually ratted her out completely by accident. She hasn’t petted that dog all day today…

Let me guess, not a parent, are you? I can totally relate to this father and the issues he has with his daughter. Though I do think he has spoiled her and at partially created the issue.

But he has every right to monitor her internet usage and activity. She has no right to block him. He pays for that connection and is legally responsible for everything that she does on it. He has to make his best effort to be aware everything she does.

Nor do I think his action was over the top in terms of shooting the laptop. Given how drama driven 15 year old girls are, this is the only real way to get her attention. And lets face it, he knows her better than anyone else. And he knows the best way to get her attention. And it was nice to have him address how she treats other people in their life (the “cleaning lady”).

Hi @anubis. Actually, yes a parent. To a teen. Who is on Facebook. Of course I can relate but that’s not what is most important. Kids will gripe and aren’t always *grateful* for all we do for them. Shocking! Dad seems motivated by vengeance, and not much else.

It isn’t vengeance at all, it is desire to get through to her. Given that the previous attempts to get through to her didn’t work, he upped his game. And given the follow up both the father and daughter have made on this issue, it looks like it worked and a lot of good came out of it.

@anubis: Of course there is no way for me to know what goes on in other people’s homes, but he did mention in the video one (1) previous transgression w/ FB. The rest *appeared* to be he was fed up with her attitude. Which I get. Believe me. But to videotape himself reprimanding/belittling her and then shooting up the computer….Well, if good come out of it, as you say, I wish them the best.