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You did good with the title and roman numerals. Cindy will prolly stop in and add all the previous threads. I think the white boys and the song you are referring to is The House of Pain and they had a cut called Jump Around. Yep, being a DJ, I knew all the songs from back in the day, not really up on it as much now. I still listen to some stuff now but not as much as I use to. MC Lyte is my girl, so many songs I liked by her especially Roughneck, Keep on Keeping on with Xscape, Come On with Billie Lawrence, Lyte as a Rock, Cold Rock a Party, Georgie Porgie and I could go on. And I loved DMX's Get at Me, Dawg, Big Pun's Don't Wanna Be a Player, Mystikal's Here We Go, Shake Ur Ass, Still Smokin' (funny song about weed) and The Man's Right Here. Who got on my last nerve was Master P and that damn Uuuuuh sound he would make that sounded like he was constipated.

Betty--- I hope you do go to the convention, it sounds like you need a change of pace. And I would think if your friend is willing to get you there she may not expect anything back in return. I still say check out episode 59 before you leave. *sniffs* I'm a little sad cause someone else gets killed, not going to say who but will say you were right about McNulty.

Well, Kevin called back. I guess he had a rough week last week. He got abused by some patients as in bit and spit on. Did his taxes and owes Uncle Sam 5 g's. I guess I wouldn't want to talk to anyone either. It just seems like when I was willing to cut my losses, he decides to call. He wanted me to come over again and spend the night. And again, I declined, I explained to him anything after 11 pm is considered a booty call to me though he swears he wasn't trying to get no booty but talk. Uh huh, right. I told him we need to talk more so he can get to know me better and vice versa. Still not giving up no ass and still not ready to disclose yet.

I'm ready to march in, chew bubble gum, kick some ass and take names....

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Hello Ladies. Great thread title, Snow. I need some stress relief and would gladly be kicking a lot of ass, If it wouldn't land me in jail. Speaking of jail, my 18 yo called last night around 11. I accepted the call, I will just give my dad the money for it. He is facing 5 to 10 years. All I could ask him was "What were you thinking". He still doesn't want to hear it so he can just deal with it. I had a good day yesterday. Went to Greensboro and got 2 pair of jeans, sneakers for Robert and some really cute boots for me. The jeans are really baggy, I might have to take them back and get a 14 instead of a 16. The boots were on sale for $10.99 so I got them. Black, 3 and a half inch heels and they can be worn like slouch ankle boots or folded to wear with skirts, I guess . I also went to the pet store and they had a really calm Rose haired Chilean Tarantula. I wanted it so bad but can't see spending $60 on spider and cage, then being told to get it out of the house. My mom killed my last one cause he kept escaping. His name was Houdini cause he could get out of anything you put him in. She kept waking me up to catch him. Finally I wasn't home and she squashed him. Oh well, not everyone likes Spiders. I visited my cousin. Her 5 YO just got out of the hospital. She has Epilepsy and has bad seizures. I hope she grows out of them. And she has a 8 month old, too. So cute Working a double today so need to get some housework done Take care and ML try to stay cool. Later Ladies. Cristy

Snow, good job on the new thread. I'm alright with the Roman numerals, until they get to 29. I have no clue what comes after that. Hey, don't feel bad about not knowing how to do things like putting in the previous threads, pictures etc. I don't know how to post old pictures. I have a couple I wanted to put here, but I don't have a clue. I have a scanner, but someone told me if I scanned the pictures, they would have to be sent as 'an attachment.'

Queen, I did see 'The Wire.' I watched it last night. Yes, I'm upset that Snoop was killed. She took it like a trooper, that's the only saving grace to that. I knew McNulty was going to get busted. I couldn't see it going on for much longer. It was getting way too shadey and out of control. I can't believe there's only one episode left. That will definitely be one show I'll miss. Maybe even more than 'The Sopranos.' I personally liked the way 'The Sopranos' ended. I was shocked at first, but thought, you know, that's the way it's supposed to be.

I think I will take my bff up on her offer of paying for the convention. I haven't been to one to stay at a hotel since '95. They always have a lot of good stuff at conventions. Lots of new people to meet, workshops about recovery, 24 hour meetings etc. So there's always something to do. My gay bff is dropping off a cooler tomorrow, so I can take my food and won't have to scramble on eating. There will be five of us ladies sharing a room and I know the other 3. One of them is my first sponsor. One tough, kick-ass lady. And the other 2 I've known for years. I think I need to get away for a weekend.

We got a bunch of snow last night. About 5 inches. And it's supposed to snow all week up 'til Saturday. I'm so ready for it all to be gone! I'm with you Queen, I'm ready to take prisoners! OK ladies, I'm sure I'll check in later-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hey ladies...Yes its messed up Snoop is out...but lil Mike is sexy (there i go again on my young boy shit) but so what..he is legal..lol..Shoot Snoop could get it to0 ...What is wrong wit me im such a horndog...Anyways i couldnt wait for yall to start talking about it..I didnt want to ruin it for anyone..eventho we are prolly ruinin it for others who dont have or watch on Demand..Sorry Friends...Anyway McNulty is a loon anyways..cant wait till midnight Monday am so i can watch the last one..and then ill watch all the reruns..just in case i missed something..hopefully they will invent something else as catchy and edgy as the Wire and the Sopranos..I even missed Sex n the City for a while..cant wait to see what else they have for us..

Well im sure ready for this damn cold weather to cease..My kids go see their daddy and stay the whole summer..he wanted them to stay the year but we talked and disagreed on beating my kids with belt Im like WTF..i cant tell him how to discipline our kids but he is telling me that he is gonna let his girl discipline them and he couldnt respect the fact that i dont even hit my kids let a lone with a belt and tht i didnt want anyone else doin it either...so now they just gonna go for the summer and i need to have their address n phone number (prev i wasnt allowed bcus he was afraid of me tellin his girl about his status since he wont) so if my son calls and tell me anything out of pocket I am goin straight down there to get my babies..but he thinks im being a BITCH and jsut wants to control him...i say FUCk him..i have a man and aint thinkin about his ass no more...

Cristy, I am sorry to hear about your son. We just gotta let our kids do whatever they're going to do. Not being able to control others and all that.

Wishful, don't feel bad about being a 'horndog.' I think we all are feeling a little of that lately. Hell, it's winter; in the summer, we get to see more flesh. I think we're all ready for the summer.

Paulette, good to hear from you. I am curious as to what you're going to do about your brother-in-law. In case you missed it in our last thread, I think the ladies all have a general consensus-fire his ass.

OK, does anyone know who sang the song 'Go On Girl' from the movie Colors? If anyone does, please do tell.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Christy-- Sorry to hear your son is about to do a 5-10 bid. By no means think you are at fault. Maybe he will get his act together while sitting there, you can only hope.

Betty-- I was sadden by Snoop's demise but she went out like a gangster. But I was glad Mike pieced it all together. I just thought it was wrong they were going to kill him because he was asking questions in regards to having to kill people. The one I feel bad for is Dookie and where he got dropped off at. I hope you have a nice time at the convention. I would have to hear the song you are talking about, if I heard it, I could probably tell you who it is.

I don't have anything to report either. Meeting up with Kevin a little later so I need to hurry up and jump in the shower. I check back in after a few ticks.

I did..but he thinks its about control...he is a very anal person..and i kinda resent that he gives me such a hard time at all, i feel he should feel privledged that i even talk to him..may not be the right way to think about it but i do...besides i do want my summer break..But i dont want to have to worry about my kids well being...but then he counters that with im their father, i would kill someone if they hurt my kids...yeah the same kids he abandoned for another woman...i dunno...

Win- What a beautiful baby! That is great picture of the both of you. Congratulations to everyone! I love baby feet!!! Oh, I just started putting one of those facial masks on my problem areas daily and it seems to be drying them up.

Wishful- That is hard because I know you want to have sometime for yourself but then you have to worry about how your kids are getting treated. My son goes to his fathers every other weekend, for some vacation time during the school year and the summer. I know whenever he gets back he will be hyper, needy and act out a lot. If there was no court orders involved I wouldn't let my son go at all. My son is 9 and I just added him to my cell phone plan so he calls me all the time now when he is at his fathers and usually ends up coming home early. It is a tough call and I would go with your gut. If you feel like this women is a skank and not stable enough to give your kids the care they deserve, keep them home. I hate when they come with that "I'm thier father, bullshit" In my case, i think sperm donors, if they want to get treated like a father, they have to act like one first. As far as the belt goes, there is no way in hell I would let anyone come at my kid with a belt, if he doesn't want to talk about it like adults- Press charges on her ass. I hate to go there but the other option is you kicking her ass and ending up in jail yourself. I am the least confrontational person you will ever meet but I will go toe to toe in a heart beat if someone is hurting one my kids. Try to put yourself in your childs position and think how it would affect you. I don't know what is wrong with me these days, I could careless if I got some booty or not.

Queen- That's it ,House of Pain, now I remember. Thanks Hope you have a good time with Kevin tonight. Whatever happened with the heat situation?

Betty- I am glad you can go to your convention, it will be good to get away and see your friends and meet new faces.

Moon- I hope things were cooler at work for you today. I went for a walk around 10 and froze my ass off and was trying to send you some "cold vibes" ha, ha I much rather be cold than hot too, I can put clothes on to get warm ,but I can only take so much off to cool down....unfortunately walking around butt naked is not an option.

Paulette- I hope you are feeling better and you are getting things worked out with your business.

Cristy- OMG! Spiders freak me out. It makes me woozy just thinking about them, if I knew one was in my house loose, Holy shit I would take all the kids and leave. Those things are HUGE. Sorry to hear about your son, boys will be boys and you can only do so much, hopefully he will learn from his mistakes. My older sons father spent most of his adult life in jail and I hope and pray my son doesn't follow in his footsteps.

Ann- Thanks for putting those threads up

I finally got to meet with the therapist today. She seems really nice. She just took my history and we are going to start meeting once a week. There is also a support group that meets in the same building that meets on Wed and Fridays, that I will try to start going to. I have a GYN appt. tomorrow morning..ick, ick, ick( great, 2 days in a row, I have to tell someone my status ) and then I have to go meet with my sons teacher(one of the 4 yr olds) and a psychologist to see if he has some developmental issues. Should be interesting?

Oh, Granny Win - Congrats hun! She's a really pretty baby. Was she a c-section? She doesn't have that "just born" look to her. How is mommy doing? Gotta go buy out the pink section

Wishful: I wish I could lend some advice, hun. How old are the kids? Are they old enough to call you and let you know if things get out of control? What does the visitation order say about you knowing where they are and having a contact number? Seems to me that would be necessary information if nothing else, in case of an emergency.

Queen: be sure to let us know how well Kevin made up for going MIA. Make him sweat and beg for forgivness

BT: I thought that was really sweet of you to offer Lucas a place to crash and an ear to bend.

BT: I thought that was really sweet of you to offer Lucas a place to crash and an ear to bend.

Nothing to report here. I'll check in later.

Mum

Mum, I'd do it for anyone I click with on these forums.

Snow, I'm so glad you're being proactive with things, seeing a therapist, going to a support group. That's really great. Good luck at the gyn's. I never look forward to those appointments.

Well, my social psychology class is over-done-history. Thank God. Only one more class (Ethics) and this period is over. I'm leaning heavily toward dropping the next eight week classes. And taking the summer off. Not sure what I'll do, but I'm sure I'll find something to get myself into.

Wish, thanks for letting me know about the artist of 'Go on Girl.' Unfortunately, when I went to download the song on Napster, she didn't do it the way it was in Colors. So I deleted it.

OK ladies, I'll check in later or tomorrow. *waiting to hear about our Queen's date with Kevin*

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

If you smoke cigs or the green--light one up, if you're the popcorn type---make a bowl, need a glass of wine to unwind--- Go Ahead---I'll wait.....*hums a little tune*...*looks at clock*.....Ready?

Stick a fork in my Royal ass, I'm done and done with Kevin. Yep, you read it right. But if you want the 411, you're gonna have to go read my blog.. You know how I hate to repeat myself. I was so done that I had my son come pick me up.* You wanna read the blog now, don't ya?* I stomped up my steps(at least that is what my roomie tells me) and I rolled 2 doobies and commenced to bitching to my roomie about it. After I was done, she brought me a shot of tequila. Slammed that and got on my cell to my bff and ran it down to her. She was like me and couldn't believe it. And she doesn't even know all the details that I put in my blog... Ok, I'm done with the shameless plugs about my blog but in comparison to what I wrote there, she got the short version. My roomie got the blow by blow. And as you ladies know, I was trying to do the right thing this go around and not have undisclosed sex. I just can't win for losing even when I try to go about it in what is suppose to be considered the right way...

Grams Wini--- Cute little bundle of joy. I bet Billy is quite the proud Poppa. Did the mother take one of those after delivery pics? Call me sadistic but I love to look at those and put my own captions to them.

Snow--- The heat situation is still pretty much up in the air. No one wants to help including my ASO unless I have a termination notice. I have no choice but to wait on one which means the gas company will not get paid. It's sad I have to go that route to get help but nothing else I can do.

Wishful--- I don't think your kid's father's gf should be beating your kids with no belt, period. They are not her kids to be correcting, not to say she should let them run over her but if it has to come down to punishment then their father should be the one handing it out. Maybe I'm old school on that but even with using a belt, I would be leery, they call that child abuse these days. Back in the day, it was considered an ass whipping.

Betty--- Sorry, no lusty details and more like drama..Definitely not what everyone including myself was expecting...

Alright Queen. I am going to read your blog now. You did exactly the right thing. Next he wouldn't be hearing you when you said NO. Win, Congratulations on that beautiful baby. Wishful, love your new avatar. It fits the way I feel a lot. I am with queen. If your children need to be disciplined, then the father should do it. The girlfriend has no business hitting your children with a belt. She can make them listen with out beating them, I'm sure. Betty, it was really nice what you did for Lucas. But we all know there is a sweet heart under that no nonsense exterior. Paulette, I have always loved Spiders. I used to play with Golden Writing spiders when I was a child. I had a brown towel and I would sit on the towel and let it crawl from hand to hand. I wanted the one I saw Monday but just couldn't justify the expense. Mom wouldn't really kill it unless it kept getting loose. Not much going on here. Tired from yesterday(11 hour Shift basically) and my right hip hurts. Hope I get today off, need to do laundry and vacuum and put up all the clothes I dragged out. Hope everyone has a great day. Later Cristy

Queen, of course I read your blog before responding. Wow. I hate it when people think they're entitled to some pussy because they did this or that. If that were the case (someone I was seeing wanted to buy me) I would want a new house, car etc.-all paid off and in my name. He's not even worth your time & I for one am glad you got the hell outa there. Glad you did what you had to do. And that the whole thing didn't go any further (emotionally). He's not deserving of you, my dear. I'm also sorry to hear you have to wait on a disconnect notice before anyone will do anything. These things are what keeps people poor. How are we ever supposed to get ahead? I feel you. Right now I have like $1.67 in my account at the bank. Thank heavens we get paid soon.

I've decided to drop one class (Microeconomics) for the next 8 week session. If I dropped both classes it would royally screw up my financial aid. So, as soon as the university's offices open, I'm requesting that a drop slip be mailed to me so I can fill it out and mail it back. Last night's class was extremely hard to even go to. The guy who taught it, when I was leaving said "Betty, I wish you a lot of success. You're a bright lady." I felt like telling him to lick the bottom of my boot, but I didn't. We got screwed on that class, with them getting rid of the teacher we had had for all previous psychology classes. The new dean ended up teaching it and he was a little arrogant. Oh well.

Not much else planned for today. I'm hoping the weekend trip to Indy will clear some stuff out of my head. I don't feel like going, but I know that mentally it will be good for me. My gay bff is dropping off a cooler this evening, so I can stock it with food to take. That way I won't have to worry about going without food. We all know how to survive don't we.

Cristy, you posted the same time I tried to. I hope you're alright. Sounds like you might be a little overwhelmed lately. Hang in there.

I'll check back in later.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

tendai

Queen - sorry Kevin turned out to be a jerk. oh well better now than later when u've invested emotions and stuff. bet u he be calling and calling u to apologise. i think he got issues. i wonder what he would have done if u'd thrown him off and said "listen you jerk i have HIV!". i thought jerks who thought if they bought u food or whatever they'd be entitled to some ass was a local phenomenon. guess its universal after all.

Christy - a SPIDER for a pet? and Paulette - a black widow? oh jeez i got goosebumps just thinking of it. my first instinct when i see a spider is to kill it. except for the daddy-long-legs type which are harmless but annoying still. and i swear to heaven i will never understand people who have snakes for pets , those evil demonic creatures which belong in hell with the devil. And sorry about your son. I saw this episode of this show called Lockdown Raw - not pretty.

wish - i believe a little discipline will never go amiss. spare the rod spoil the child and all that. although i think personally i'd prefer not to have the GF doing the disciplining. if anyone's to do it then it should be the parent. You do whats best for your kids girl. I wouldnt want some woman from gosh knows where beating on my kids if i had any. I'd have her ass.

Betty - i hope u have an enjoyable time at the convention. a little time off wont do any harm will it?

Win - congrats on the baby Grans!

my guy i havent seen him since Friday when he said he was going out town. turns out he didnt go after all. said the people there didnt phone to confirm that they should come. whatever. i'm wondering how i can wiggle out of this . ignoring him wont work coz he'll phone me like he did last night complaining about my silence. then he calls at around 10.30pm. 'can i come and see u?' told him no. what, he planning to walk all the way from wherever he was to my place. Ha! so anyway i called him today, thought i'd give him one last try and see if theres any difference. so i'm coming down with the flu, scratchy throat and all so i asked him if he wanted to do anything together today and he said 'we do what u want' and i said the only thing i feel like doing is going home to sleep and he says 'fine i'll take u home and then go back to my place". As if. i can forsee him trying to coax his way inside and spending the night saying he's looking after me. Like i need a nurse. And what place is that that he wont let me see?any suggestions how i can break it off without drama? text him?

i'm listening to T-pain's Buy U a drank, is that voice of his computerised? i like his style of singing/rap whatever they call it.

Win: Congratulations! You're a grandma!!!! How fun!Queen: I read your blog. I too think you did the right thing. I am so insecure about myself that I probably would have stuck around and would be calling him. Good for you. It will be interesting to see if he gets the hint...Sun: I hope you had a good time on your date! Betty: Where are you going? I probably missed a piece of information...LOLCJC: Spiders? As pets? I stick to my dog (or was that someone else?)Wishful: I would be so angry! How old are your kids?Moon: It sounds like you are really taking to this new job. Do you like it or is too early to telll?

I am trying to keep up with everyone. If I missed something I am sorry...I have report cards due on Monday and I hate it! Every year I tell myself I am going to get so organized and be ready ahead of time and yet each trimester I am working up to the last minute...gotta get it together...LOL!

Thanks everyone for your input..the kids are 5 (6 next month) and 3 (4 next month)..and i jsut had to do some investigating on my own since he wants to be a prick..i search his ss number and found out where they live..and FORTUNATELY the phone number listed on the report ws HERS not his..so i gave lil miss Wanna be my baby's mama a call and let her know very politely that i dont want her hitting my kids..that was it..very plan and simple and respectful even..but baby daddy called later that night wanting to know why i called her blah blah...im like i want to make sure she thinks 2x next time she picks up a belt to my kids..also to let him know muthafucka if i really wanna know where u are and all your information...I will find out..and i DID...

He was shook..he was like how did u find her info..i was like u know im resourceful..he got mad and said aarrgghh give my son the fone....Not to mention he hasnt called in over a week and it took me calling the girl for him to call his kids...suck an ASS is what i say...

He is scared shitless now cus he thinks im gonna be callin her and tell her about his status and how we still mess around when he comes here...but i have no plans on doin any of taht..im happy in my relationship and how he treats her and vs versa is their business....

See, I'm more of a cad than that. I'd let him buy me whatever he wants. You want to pay my bills, go right ahead. You want to fill my fridge, take me out on the town, buy me a new summer wardrobe, be my guest. Far be it from me to throw a silly thing like pride into the mix. As far as gettin' in my pants - SORRY! You feel jipped, call Judge Judy. You assume the terms, you assume the debt. But, that's just me.

I appreciate what you all had to say but what I thought was funny was how no one commented on his infection and him not even bringing it up. All this before he even thought he was going to get some ass. I just get the impression if things wouldn't have went down the way they did, he still would not have mentioned it. I thought that was weird considering I heard the conversation. Something I did not mention was him asking me if I knew how to use a credit card. I thought that was funny as hell and told him he must really think I am ghetto and ignorant not to know how to use a credit card. Which made me think, he must think I wasn't paying any attention to the conversation about his infection. Or maybe that I was too ignorant or ghetto to catch on. I guess I was expecting some feedback on that considering how we had all talked about disclosure. And he never once mentioned the use of a condom. At least when I didn't disclose, I was still being responsible which is more than I can say for him.

Wishful-- So, once you tracked her down and told her how you felt about her using a belt with your kids, how did it go? And I thought you said you still be tipping with the ex when he comes into town, this is still happening even though you got your young buck? Not judging you but am wondering since you did beat the young buck's ex upside the head and the young buck caught a few blows when you thought something was going on there. Girlie, are you having your cake and eating it too?

Mum--- I am sure I could've gotten him to do things like that for me but I have never been the gold digging type. I guess I just am independent and I don't want anyone holding over my head what they did for me. If you do something for me, it's because you want to and I shouldn't owe anything unless things were discussed to be paid back.

Betty--- I have 4 bucks in my one account and one cent in the other. I never seem to be able to save. I had opened the second account, hoping to put away money to get my car fixed or get a new one but then something happens where I got to dip into it. I think I am going to talk to my ID doc and see if it is ok for me to work, at least something part time. I can't make it on disability and trying to live off of one check from month to month. At this point, I don't care if I am a cashier somewhere. I just need some extra money. I think if anything he will prolly want me to have a job where I am not on my feet a lot.

I know some are prolly wondering what is going on with therapy. I have given up on it. I have called and called and am just tired of not getting a call back. I will see if the ID doc can prescribe the Celexa for me if not then fuck it. I did just leave a message with my clinic nurse Leah explaining what is going on. Maybe she can reach these people since it seems I can't. I'll keep you posted. I guess that is about it for me....

Queen: hey girl...When my ex bought the kids backin sept, was the last time we "tipped", and i started getting serious about Yungin since then , so no more tippin with him...I only got her vm, so i didnt actually talk to her but baby daddy confirmed that she got the message when he called me back all pissy...

As for Mr. Kev..he prolly thought u didnt hear him talkin bout his prblem. I dunno what kinda person he take u for but you are right bout kickin dat ass to da curb..Something is fishy about him..are u sure he doesnt know about your status?..Is it possible someone coulve told him?..i dunno jsut dont feel right in my guts...lol..

Shoot as for giving up the goods cus dude is givin up the green, PHEWEY...within knowing young buck a whole 2-3 weeks ..he gave me 2 g to buy my car..he hadnt even smelled no poon poon yet...I say get a YOUNG BOI!!

Damn, he gave you 2 g's to get a car, must be nice. My last ex was younger than me and all we would do was argue about who was gonna play the playstation. I had helped him get a job with the City but he quit because someone had told him I was cheating on him. He worked 3rd shift and cheating was the last thing on my mind. Since him, I have sworn off of young bucks. The ones over here want to be drug dealers and the last thing I need is for the police to be running up in my crib.

As far as I know, Kevin had no clue about my status. If he did, he never mentioned it. I was wondering if he could find out since he works at a hospital where my docs work at but I don't go to the hospital for any kind of treatment. And if he did know, you would think he would be open to talking about his infection or at least say, well before we engage in anything, a condom is a must. Nope, he was willing to raw dog me w/o question but I wasn't having it. I am just glad I didn't do anything with him.

Yes he is a really genuinely good dude...he doesnt act 24 at all...but yeah , i dont know where he came from but I aint letting him go back..no matter how hard baby mama fights...

That convo Kev was having coulda been just a set up for u to open up to him about u..then trying to sleep with you w/o any mentions of protection may have been his weird way of sayin hey its cool...without really having the conversation with you. Men are weird and that wouldnt surprise me..Im always suspicious...thats my nature...But im usually if not 100% right , very close to something...but who knows...i just gotta feelin bout him...n if he does work at the hospital ..he prob has access to whose poz n whose not...like a department of health data base...

Wish- Good for you, for seeking out that info and calling GF up. Wouldn't you have loved to be a fly on the wall when they both found out about that message? I am a mother hear me roar Maybe I need to go the young buck route...hhhmmm.

Queen- Sorry ,things aren't working out as far as finding a therapist. Try not to get frustrated and keep trying, being able to talk out loud helps a lot. IMO. Especially if you can find one that is a good listener. Sounds like Kevin just speaks a whole different language us females just don't understand. He's traveling down a one way street. It makes you feel like you are dealing with a 4 yr old when you have a conversation and then the next day its like it never happened. That makes me batty and happens more than I like to admit and not with my 4 yr olds. I am so glad your son was around to come and pick you up.

Betty- That was a good idea to cut that class, that should help a little at least. I hope you have a safe trip to the convention when you go.

I'm all messed up...my day was going so good and then BAMN This disease is a catch 22 because it is so misunderstood. I want people to know and then I don't. Hard to figure out, sometimes.

Ten- spiders are God's creatures too. They are good for our planet, by killing other harmful insects. And tell that guy that you can see his future and you're not in it. Goodbye it's as simple as that.

And for all who are curiouse my BIL gave me the money off the job that was done, and I'm hoping it won't happen again. so that's good for now.

Wish- i wouldn't want some other B***H spanking my kids, so your not over reacting.

All is okay, today is my daughters 18th b-day. Man they grow up so quick.got church tonight so I'll check in later.

Just wanted to say hi. Queen- Well, I am glad that you did not disclose to Kevin. What a jerk he turned out to be. Now when it comes to the whole disclosure thing it makes me really want to wait before I tell the next guy I get involved with. Even though I have this date tonight it just reaffirms that its good to wait. I know that I would tell someone before I slept with him, but not before we have dated a while. They will always show their true colors sooner than later. Shame on him for not telling you his medical condition especially if you could get what he has. I must says my mind is buzzing and am nosey and want to know what he had. I know its wrong and I would not want someone spreading my business, but it still makes me want to know.

Paulette- Good to see you are back. I hope that this is a good source of comfort for you while you are dealing with a difficult time.

Wish- I need to take lessons for you. I am always the one helping the guy out. Not by giving them money but always being at their beckon call and always being so nice, then I get screwed up in the long run. Maybe I need a younger a guy.

I am glad I did not disclose to him either but it also makes me feel that I am not wrong or bad for not disclosing from the beginning. And confirms that even though I am not disclosing, I am at least being responsible and safe which is more than I can say for the last 2 guys I have dated. I want to be able to disclose but not until the right person comes along. But at this point, I think I am just done with neg guys and will try to hope for a poz one to come along. Realistically in my neck of the woods, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Wishful-- I couldn't fathom why someone would make up a situation to get me to disclose. If that was the case, I would rather he just be direct and ask me. Or at least speak on hiv or something. When he was at my house, I never left my meds where he could see them and not sure if he even knew my last name. He never asked and honestly, I didn't know his til last night when I had his credit card and put gas in his car. Bottom line was he was just moving too fast, too soon and was expecting too much. He made me feel like a trick or something and that turned me off. I may be a bit ghetto but I am still very much a lady and as you know I consider myself a Queen...

Mum – Nope she was born the normal way. Her hat is hiding the pointy head LOLMom is ok. Sore from the epidural and episiotomy but otherwise she is ok.

Queen – I took some pics while she was in labor. But she had a oxygen mask on and I have some after shots but it was several hours after. She’s had time to get some of her color back LOLI just took a quick peek at the photos I have and she looks wonderful even without makeup. But then again she is only 19 and she always looks pretty.The photo of me after I gave birth I had absolutely no color in my face aside from the dark circles under my eyes. But then again I was hemorrhaging too.

Netta, welcome to this site, and to our women's forum chat-room. I read your intro in the long-term survivor's forum. I've been diagnosed since 1989. I've seen many of the things you talked about that were around during the very early days. We ladies here are a very good group. We support each other, offer advice, ask questions etc. I have two grandchildren, so I know what it's like to feel like a miracle. I was given a year at the most to live when diagnosed. Three days after I was diagnosed, my first husband died. I was in a treatment center, but they did let me attend the viewing/funeral. Things have come a long way, and so have we. Very glad to make your acquaintance. Please feel free to talk about anything here. So exciting to have a new woman among us!

Queen, my mind is always suspicious of everything. I think that people who work at a hospital would probably have access to information off databases that we don't. If he were to find out your last name, looked it up in some database and found out, well that makes me like him even less. Not because he didn't care about protecting himself. Because I hate people who think "the person gets what they deserve" (sex wise, being treated like a whore). I'm not implying anything, please don't read it like that. I've just encoutered those kind of people too many times throughout my life. Even members of my own family feel like I got what I deserved. Do you get what I'm saying? A lot of people who know my background will automatically imply things that just aren't true. Like I said, don't read anything into what I'm saying that's not meant to be there. Some guys just think that way, is all I'm saying. Which makes me want to do wicked things to this strange man (Kevin). I've known you, read your posts, for quite awhile now and have nothing but respect for you. So fuck him, is all I can say, with donkey dicks in every crevice of his body. My two pennies.

Good luck on finding a job. It's so hard to try to make it without money, believe me I know. I always try to put something aside also; and do pretty good until towards the end of the month.

Paulette, happy birthday to your daughter. Kids do grow up fast. My daughter is going to be 24 this year. I'm so grateful she's not repeated many of my mistakes. And if you're o.k. on the brother-in-law thing, well, alright. You gotta feel right with yourself; that's the most important thing.

Snow, having HIV definitely has its ups and downs. I hope you're feeling better.

Sun, thanks for checking in. Things seem o.k. with you.

Well, my gay bff came by tonight and dropped off a cooler for me to use to take food in to the convention. I'm looking forward to it. We talked for a bit. He's so fun to be around. He's about my age and we just cackle like a couple of queens (no pun intended, your Majesty). That was pretty much the highlight of my day. That and watching a video on xtube this morning. ;)I might check back in later. Have a good one ladies-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hey Wendy, how does one take photos and post them? I have a couple and I haven't a clue. I have a scanner (printer/copier), but a friend of mine told me that if I wanted to use that, I'd have to send a pic as an attachment?

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Netta-- Welcome to the Forums and the hen house better known as the dating thread. Don't let the title fool you, we talk about anything over here. Nothing is taboo especially with me around... We're a strong, tight nit group here who have gone through a lot of shit. I'm sure you will fit in just fine.

Betty--- If he did find out my status through some database, I would think he would've spoken up about it. I wouldn't have appreciated it but I would've considered well, he knows and is still around. But I'm done thinking about it, he is kicked to the curb anyway. We didn't have sex so I did not endanger him in any way even though being in the medical field and if he did find out through a database about me, he still wanted to raw dog me which makes no sense to me. It shows a major lack of responsibility on his part to me.

After I told my son what happened last night he was pissed. He wanted to whip Kevin's ass for the lack of respect but I told him there was no need because I handled it. In my son's eyes he considered Kevin's actions were like treating me like a trick. My son has my temper so it took the ride home to calm him down. Though he does have Kevin's address since he picked me up from there but I think he will let it go because I asked him to.

No one in my family has ever said I deserved being poz or at least not to my face. But it irritates me because they act like I am this sickly frail person. I am in better health than 2 of my older sibs. Or because I have lost my hearing like I am helpless, uh, I do wear hearing aids. And when they were broke, I did feel helpless but only because if I was around any of them they never spoke loud enough for me to hear them. So, in some ways it was a blessing because I would act like I was following their conversations while my mind would be somewhere else... Or it kept them from calling.

A friend of mine told me about this one place that helps train women for work including helping them get a car so I think I am going to look into that. I could use some training and it will get me out of the house. Who knows maybe I can eventually get off of disability. That would be nice even if only for a little while. And if I make it into this program, YOU will be my inspiration.

Queen~ Sorry about Kevin. It sucks that he had to be an ass, and that he wouldn't even take you home when you asked repeatedly. I'm so glad your son was able to get you out of there safely, and back home.