Trump has some bold excuses for why his debate performance was so bad.

Throughout the day yesterday, a full day after the first presidential debate, Donald Trump was still going on about a) how he actually won the debate and b) all the obstacles he had to overcome to do so—like a supposedly defective microphone, one that was much lower than Hillary Clinton's. Not only is this a classic example of the poop Trump flings against the wall to distract people from the utter lack of substance in his campaign, but any rational person can tell that Trump is full of shit because you could hear him interrupting Hillary loud and clear on Monday.

Trump being Trump, though, he defied his own internal logic and came up with some fresh turds about the microphone when asked about his constant sniffling on Tuesday. He claimed he wasn't actually sniffling during Monday's debate—something we all clearly witnessed—but in fact his bad microphone was bad but good enough to pick up his breathing.

Here to put all this nonsense in the right context is Trevor Noah, who skewers Trump with a big, beautiful smile on his face.

"[Trump's mic] was so bad, that it was good," Noah says, and promptly delivers a very good string of jokes comparing Trump to Darth Vader. It's the rare late-night moment that both humanizes a movie villain and ridicules a politician making lame excuses. (You can start the clip around 2:36 for the mic bit.)

Ralphie

Ralphie has no memory of a phlegmatic moment from childhood but grew up to be described as composed, 'calm, cool, and collected', controlled, serene, tranquil, placid, impassive, imperturbable, unruffled... loves reading, writing, traveling, making friends and sharing thoughts. When he's not working on projects and executing startups, he is researching and writing.