Is therapy right for me?It depends on what you want to accomplish and how. Therapy is intended to improve clients' experience. It can be a great way to work through thoughts that keeping coming back or keep you from concentrating so you may enjoy life as you want. It can also help you navigate or prepare for a new life experience.

Friends and family have well-intentioned advice and opinions, but unlike friends, good therapists and counselors make it a point to be aware of and work to prevent personal bias from skewing your process. And, counselors and therapists hold a confidential space so you can enjoy your friends company, nor bog them with your most secret thoughts or be judged for them. Couple therapy or marriage therapy can help a relationship work through issues without children, neighbors, or others ever knowing, and do so in a calm and constructive manner to help you come to resolution. Individual therapy can help you identify thoughts and patterns of behavior that impede your progress and happiness. Whether couple therapy, marriage therapy, or individual therapy is desired, having a professional assist you in the analysis, brainstorming, planning, and implementation of the future you want.

I've never looked for a therapist before, what should I consider?When looking for a therapist you may want to verify that the therapist has current credentials, keeps up with current trends in practice and research, and attends or conducts training in the area of specialty or training. You may also want to find out a bit about the therapist's background. Sometimes it is easier to work with a therapist who has firsthand experience with some of the issues that you want to work on. However, seeing someone who does not have actual experience with an issue you are wanting to work on may be appropriate because, if the therapist is culturally sensitive, nonjudgmental, and exhibits both openness and willingness to learn, then an outside perspective may help you see the issues you want to address from a new perspective. You may also want to know if the therapist provides therapy over the phone or online (via video chat), also known as telemedicine.

If I think I want to see a therapist, what should I expect?The first step is to conduct research to find a therapist that fits. This involves online profile review as well as calling or meeting for a free consultation. If you decide to pursue therapy, then you will be asked to review and complete a set of "intake documents." The documents will explain office policy and procedures, provide you with information to adequately choose if therapy is right for you, and collect personal as well as family information to determine how to tailor services.

In the first sessions your therapist will help further define goals. Once goals are defined, then a therapist will provide interventions or ideas intended to help you reach your goals. There are time when some interventions or ideas do not fit well, just as not all medications work with all persons. Sometimes things can seem worse before they get better because you are trying new ways to approach an issue; like working out, you may feel discomfort while exercising and good immediately after, but may find yourself feeling sore for a few days or more after the workout. Your willingness to be open to ideas, trying new tasks, and be aware of how they work will likely improve your outcomes. If they do not work, explore why and share your thoughts with your therapist. You are both on the same team working to achieve your goals.

If you choose to work with me, you may select an appointment time and date that fits your schedule.

How long does therapy take?One of the greatest factors is your willingness to meet your goals. Other factors that determine how long couples therapy or individual therapy will take are dependent upon a client's learning curve, life circumstances, severity or chronicity of an issue, and a client's desired therapy frequency. Some feel relief after simply sharing their story during the first session, others may feel better the next day or two, while others may not see significant change for the first month to six months, and others longer. Therapy is only provided when a client receives benefit from sessions.

What is the difference between couples coach, couples counselor, marriage counselor, and marriage therapy?The primary difference is typically the qualification of the provider and whether a couple is legally married. The terms "therapy" and "therapist" are regulated in California. A therapist is a person who has received specific education and training, as outlined by California state regulations, to treat mental health issues that effect and affect a couple or family. Therapists may gain additional training and education to specifically address issues common to couples. Breadth of knowledge and experience of therapists who specifically works with couples as a couples counselor or marriage counselor will very likely provide better services than those offered by a couples coach.

At the time of this writing, neither "coach" nor "coaching" are regulated terms or practice in California. This means that, in California, anyone can call themselves a coach, even without certification. So, while a couples coach may be able to assist with helping you with basic issues, their lack of training with respect to identifying or treating mental health may be a disservice to you. An average of 1 in 5 Americans suffer from mental illness in their lifetime, and some never know or think what is happening deserves or needs attention from a trained professional. Thus, a couple may receive substandard service by seeking assistance from a "couples coach."

David Clark can be reached at 916.234.3346. He is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, IMF#103359 employed at Couples Resource Collective, a 501(3)(c) non-profit and charitable corporation in California. David is supervised by Regina Isabel K'burg, LMFT #86991.