WEBVTT A MOTHER OF ONE OF THE CHILDRENKILLED IN NEWTOWN.IT IS SHOCKING.IT IS SO HARD TO PROCESS.A HARD TO PROCESS PAIN THATMICHELE GAY KNOWS ALL TOO WELL.LOSING A LOVED ONE IN A MASSSHOOTING.HER DAUGHTER, SEVEN-YEAR-OLDJOSEPHINE THE 20 FIRST GRADERS, ONE KILLED IN THE SANDY HOOKMASSACRE NEARLY FIVE YEARS AGO.>> SOMETIMES I WILL WAKE UP INTHE MORNING FROM A DREAM ANDI'LL HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF OFTHE REALITY THAT I AM LIVINGNOIT IS STILL SHOCKING.IT IS STILL UNTHINKABLE.>> SEEING NEWS OF THE LAS VEGASTRAGEDY, 58 INNOCENT PEOPLKILLED, HUNDREDS MORE WOUNDED,BRINGS MICHELE BACK TO THEHORRIFIC DAY IN 2012 THATCHANGED HER LIFE FOREVERWHAT FEELING DOES THAT GIVE YOUWHEN YOU HEAR IT'S HAPPENEDAGAIN?IT IS DEVASTATING.IT IS HARD A CALL OVER AGAIN.A HEARTACHE SHE SAYS WILLALWAYS LINGER.IT DOESN'T GET EASIER, BUTYOU DO GET STRONGER, YOU GETBETTER AT IT.AND THERE ARE DAYS THAT YOU HAVETO JUST TAKE A TIME OUT ANDEXCEPT IT IS ONE OF THOSE DAYSAND YOU GET BACK UP AND TRYAGAIN TOMORROW.OUT OF THE DARKNESS AND PAINMICHELE AND ANOTHER NEWTOWN MOMLAUNCHED SAFE AND SOUND SCHOOLS, AN INITIATIVE TO IMPROVESCHOOL SECURITY.MICHELE SAYS CHANELLING HERGRIEF INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE ISWHAT GAVE HER THE WILL TO MOFORWARD, BUT FOR THE LAS VEGASSURVIVORS AND THOSE WHO LOSTLOVED ONES, THE EARLY DAYS ARESIMPLY ABOUT PUTTING ONE FOOT INFRONT OF THE OTHER>> RIGHT NOW IS ALL ABOUTBREATHE IN AND BREATHE OUT.THAT IS THE ONLY EXPECTATION YOUCAN HAVE OF YOURSELF AT THISTIMESO, LOWER THE BAR AND TAKE YOURTIME.>> MICHELE SAYS EVERYONE DEALSWITH GRIEF DIFFERENTLY, BUT FORHE IT WAS IMPORTANT TO STAYAWAY FROM THE ARGUMENTS,POLITICS AND DEBATES OVER ISSU

"It doesn't get easier but you do get stronger, you get better at it," said Michelle Gay, who lost her daughter in the Sandy Hook shooting.Gay's daughter, Josephine, was just 7 years old when she, 19 of her first-grade classmates and six staff members were killed in the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, nearly five years ago. "Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning from a dream and I'll have to remind myself of the reality that I am living now. It's still shocking, it's still unthinkable," she said.The shooting in Las Vegas, which killed 58 people and wounded hundreds more, brought the emotions back for Gay. "It's devastating. It's heartache all over again," she said. Out of her darkest and most painful chapter, Gay and another Newton mother launched an initiative intended to improve school security. She said that channeling her grief has given her a positive way to move forward.

NEEDHAM, Mass. —

"It doesn't get easier but you do get stronger, you get better at it," said Michelle Gay, who lost her daughter in the Sandy Hook shooting.

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Gay's daughter, Josephine, was just 7 years old when she, 19 of her first-grade classmates and six staff members were killed in the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, nearly five years ago.

"Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning from a dream and I'll have to remind myself of the reality that I am living now. It's still shocking, it's still unthinkable," she said.

The shooting in Las Vegas, which killed 58 people and wounded hundreds more, brought the emotions back for Gay.

"It's devastating. It's heartache all over again," she said.

Out of her darkest and most painful chapter, Gay and another Newton mother launched an initiative intended to improve school security. She said that channeling her grief has given her a positive way to move forward.