German Inspection Habits

Comments

Yes, I remember the first time I, um, saw one of these toilets. There are several inherent design flaws with this design, too:

1. They splash when flushed (especially, if you push the "heavyduty" side of the flusher, for those of you with "water saving" toilets), and since the "ledge" sits higher up in the toilet it tends to splash all over the seat, and even out onto the floor.

2. How can I say this delicately? Sometimes, the water flow is not adequate to push the, um, deposit off of the ledge. It just sits there, and unlike some other things, it does not get better with age. Often, one must resort to more extreme measures of getting rid of the, um, deposit. Yuck!

Of course, if you've ever been to Italy (and other places), you know there are much worse designs.

Well, it's not a bug but a feature, or in other words, each nation has its own way to remind itself of that stinkin' excuse. There are so many opportunities in life where most people will reject something as a disruptive factor that in an odd sense was intended to be helpful, and toilets are not the worst choice to drive home that lesson. Plus, there's always an excuse to talk about the toilet, so nobody is required to mix his favorite scatological chat into other topics of conversation...

Erika Jung, a cool American feminist author, wrote a best seller in the 70s titled "The Fear of Flying".

In one chapter, she lampoons Euro toilet customs. For an example, the Brits use sand paper for TP... Proves that they have a stiff uper lip. The French use badee's...Proves that they are too lazy to wipe.

When she got to the Germans, she mentions the inspection platform.....Could it be that anal retentiveness is a national character?

Sometimes it's not as easy as just aiming in the right direction. I don't want to explain it. Let's just say you're driving down a straight road and your car suddenly gets out of alignment. You may have to turn the wheel slightly to the left in order to keep the wheels straight. Now imagine it's nightime and your headlights don't work.

Maybe I could discuss a Chinese gas station I once had the privilege to, uh, visit. The "toilet" was two railroad ties over a hole in the back that you stood on while doing the squat thing; you made sure you were balanced _very_ carefully...

All I can say is I was quite thankful that it was about 5 degrees F (I guess about -20C) so everything was frozen solid. The only problem with this was that the ties were covered with ice, making the balancing part even more adventurous...

british MEP Daniel Hannan (who also writes for "Die Welt" - very interesting!) hold a speech in the european parliament. Seems the MEPs simply do not care if their oh-so-much wanted constitution is enacted or not:

[Would it not be simpler to dismiss the people and elect another in their place?]

The peoples of two core, founding states have thrown your project out, my friends. I know it’s hard to accept rejection, but look at the figures. Fifty-five per cent French voters. Sixty two per cent of Dutch voters.

Now you might try to argue that the voters have got it wrong; that they are suffering from what Marxists call false consciousness; that they need better propaganda, and that it is up to us, the Euro-elite, to take a lead. To which I say: do your damnedest.

Current polls in the Netherlands show that 82 per cent of Dutch voters would now vote "No:" a tribute to the level-headedness of that brave people. But if you think you can turn them around, dear colleagues, be my guests. Doing so would at least prove your commitment to the democratic ideals you so frequently invoke.

Far more outrageous would be to push ahead with the implementation of the contents of the constitution without popular consent.

Yet this is precisely what you are doing. Look at the number of policies and institutions envisaged by the constitution that have been, or are being, enacted regardless: the European External Action Service, the European Human Rights Agency, the European Defence Agency, the European Space Programme, the European External Borders Agency, a justicable Charter of Fundamental Rights.

None of these has a proper legal basis outside the constitution. By adopting them anyway, you demonstrate that you will allow no force, internal or external—neither your own rule book nor the expressed opposition of your peoples—to arrest the rush to political assimilation. You vindicate the severest of your opponents’ criticisms.

In the words of my countryman Oliver Cromwell, "I beseech you in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken.""

http://www.brusselsjournal.com/node/682

This is very alarming and disturbing. Brusselsjournal has more, here:

http://www.brusselsjournal.com/node/685

Makes me want to throw this EU into the bowel of a sturdy, well crafted german toilet, inspect it for a second (more because of morbide curiosity than real interest) - and then FLUSH it down to a place where the sun never shines!

@Hartmut: You're right of course, but since when did the EUrocrats ever let something like the people get in the way of pursuing their plans? After all, being the good Europeans that they are, the Germans didn't even allow the people to vote on whether or not to accept that sad excuse of a constitution; rather, the Elite decided for them. That's the way it should be in Europe, right??

Don't forget the Japanese high-tech facilities. Here is the gadget that started it all. Now they have toilets that can imitate the sound of flushing or running water, plus gently rinse and air-dry your nether region.

I don't know if anyone remembers, but Medienkritik did a story about Franka Potenta criticizing American toilets (plus everything else American). So I went to her website and blasted her. Afterwards, she posted her first time on her own website, and apologized. Saying she was misunderstood. RIGHT! Then promptly cancelled her website. One for the good guys. And down with German arrogance down the hopper.

Guys, if there's one thing you should not doubt, then it is German engineering of household appliances.
There is only one reason for the specific German design of toilet bowls, and it has nothing to do "inspecting" your excrements, but rather with wanting to avoid having piss splash on your ass.
Other examples of superior German engineering are door handles instead of those retarded door knobs (ever tried to open an American door with your hands full?), light switches (in Germany you can just use your elbow to turn the light on), and of course, the windows. Who on earth comes up with the retarded idea to design a window that you can only open halfway (by sliding it up?).
Anyone who has ever lived in a German house (which is usually designed to last for approximately 2500 years) will understand what I mean.
Oh, and by the way, this comes from a German who will in two months move to California and never intends to return to Germany ever again. Because the US is simply the better place to live. Even though it is definitely not for the houses and appliances over there.

There is only one reason for the specific German design of toilet bowls, and it has nothing to do "inspecting" your excrements, but rather with wanting to avoid having piss splash on your ass.

You must be one of those German males whose mother insisted that they sit and piss. Poor bastard, you missed out on important part of being a male. Can you explain why no-where else in the world they adopt these impressive toilets? Also, why are these toilets no longer in fashion in Germany? Mostly found in old houses they are!

Other examples of superior German engineering are door handles instead of those retarded door knobs (ever tried to open an American door with your hands full?)

Not really a German thing, but all of Europe has door knobs like this. I get my sweater hung up on them all of the time...

light switches (in Germany you can just use your elbow to turn the light on), and of course,

Many choices in America. Those switches went out in the 1970s. Go to a new house and you'll find the sublime elbow switchable ones. How about those few plugs you get in German homes though? Why so few? Two per room.

the windows. Who on earth comes up with the retarded idea to design a window that you can only open halfway (by sliding it up?).

Well, they can fit an air-conditioner. This appliance is abscent in Germany, you may not know what one is... On the same note though, who builds a window what is 1.5 by 1.5 meter and swings inwards? Knocking off everything on the window sill?

Anyone who has ever lived in a German house (which is usually designed to last for approximately 2500 years) will understand what I mean.

Personally, I find the look of concrete rather uninviting. Are they built of concrete to withstand another air raid? I don't know of any homes 2500 years old in Germany. Also consider the Roman recipe for concrete was lost during the dark ages.

Norway, Russia, Sweden, Canada and the USA build a lot of homes of wood.

Even though it is definitely not for the houses and appliances over there.

Love those German refrigerators. I had a cute one that sized in my dorm room in college. Completely foolish when you also consider the even more foolish shopping hours! American fridges are the bomb here in Germany if you have the money to afford one.