A topnotch WordPress.com site

There’s No One Like Gaston

Day 13) You Favorite Villain Song

Now I know there are many more scary and mean villian songs, but this one is my favorite. I love Gaston, but let me clarify, I love Gaston like how I love Draco Malfoy. They have some the best lines, they are so egotestical that they are hilarious, and you just know the story would be a snooze-fest without them. Gaston’s song is so awesome because it is so silly, egotestical, manly, and a total laugh riot.

I mean this is like the ultimate pep talk. Next time you have a friend who isn’t doing well, just change the words around and add their name in. They’ll thank you for it. 🙂

Gosh it disturbs me to see you, GastonLooking so down in the dumpsEvery guy here’d love to be you, GastonEven when taking your lumpsThere’s no man in town as admired as youYou’re ev’ryone’s favorite guyEv’ryone’s awed and inspired by youAnd it’s not very hard to see why

No one’s slick as GastonNo one’s quick as GastonNo one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as GastonFor there’s no man in town half as manlyPerfect, a pure paragonYou can ask any Tom, Dick or StanleyAnd they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on

No one’s been like GastonA king pin like GastonNo one’s got a swell cleft in his chin like GastonAs a specimen, yes, I’m intimidatingMy- what a guy, that Gaston

Give five “hurrahs!”Give twelve “hip-hips!”Gaston is the bestAnd the rest is all drips

No one fights like GastonDouses lights like GastonIn a wrestling match nobody bites like GastonFor there’s no one as burly and brawnyAs you see I’ve got biceps to spareNot a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny(That’s right!)And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair

No one hits like GastonMatches wits like GastonIn a spitting match nobody spits like GastonI’m espcially good at expectorating(Ptooey!)Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggsEv’ry morning to help me get largeAnd now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggsSo I’m roughly the size of a barge

No one shoots like GastonMakes those beauts like GastonThen goes tromping around wearing boots like GastonI use antlers in all of my decoratingSay it againWho’s a man among men?And then say it once moreWho’s the hero next door?Who’s a super success?Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?Ask his fans and his five hangers-onThere’s just one guy in town who’s got all of it downAnd his name’s G-A-S- T –G-A-S-T – E –G-A-S-T-O – oh!