This morning the boys were unusually energetic- even for 7 year olds, even for 6am. They’re bouncing around on the sofa, crashing cars and action figures, killing, dying, trying to figure out whether I can hear them so they can use swear words. I have a headache. Suddenly I hear one of them say “Ha Ha I was on a date with Michael Jackson!!”.

That’s it. Enough. “WHO SAID THAT!?”…

they reply “whosaidwhatnow?”

“Do either of you know who Michael Jackson is?”

“umm, he’s a stupid singer?”

“Do you know he’s dead?”

“uh, yeah, we know”

“Do you know he was a pedophile? Do you know what a pedophile is?”

“yeaahhhh, um… noooo….”

“He did dirty nasty painful things to children! Especially little boys like you!”. “NO MORE JOKING ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON IN THIS HOUSE!”