I Googled “Periscope” by Myself, or; Fuck That Puddle.

So there’s a “puddlewatch” going down on Periscope (If you don’t know what that Periscope is, Google it. I’m not your mother and you’re an adult). Someone, somewhere (Probably Drummond), has set up a webcam to watch a puddle (I assume Drummond because its hashtag is *NAME REMOVED*, but it’s just a normal puddle. There are currently 10 people watching it. Two of them have a tape measure, yet people are walking through it. Walking through it! Dressed in normal clothes! It’s the kind of puddle that’s just a puddle, but it has a bigger following on periscope than I have had bowel movements my entirelife, I assume. People are fucking insane.

Good for me, though, because I haven’t done a Live Action Comedy Blog-Cast in fucking ages! The last one was intense. If you want to have a play-by-play update of my using Firefox instead of Google Chrome for the first time and all the comical situations it got me in, check this out!

Anyway! 15 minutes have passed since I last saw what the fuck this puddle shit is all about. Let’s check back!

Artists rendition. Actual puddle not available for comment as of print.

Another cyclist cycled through the puddle. I’ll keep you up-to-date on the goings on.

11 more minutes passed: Four more people have arrived. One man walked towards it with clear confidence, but bailed at the very last minute. A German Skoda advert just played on Spotify.

6 more minutes passed: Two youths walk straight through puddle, both looking at their phones, browsing Grindr.

2 more minutes passed: All original Ponders* have left. Three newcomers have arrived. One man walks consistently in-and-out of shot. e is obviously skeptical of the ponds powers.

5 more minutes passed: *CUT TO SOME GUY DRESSED LIKE SOMEONE I WOULDN’T TALK TO AT A PARTY, BUT IN AN OFFICE*

So yeah. That scene change just happened. Then the camera went around this office, and everyone was cheering and waving at the camera, all on their own periscope accounts, probably. Trying to be all “meta”. I want to call them hipsters, but they’re Northern and we all know there’s no such thing as a Northern hipster. “Oop Norf” they just have cheap DJ’s and bad cocktail bars.

So a massive disappointment. I think it was some marketing pricks. That’s why I removed the hashtag they were using at the start – because fuck marketers. I know I left enough information in for you to Google it and find out yourselves so my dirty protest is, sadly, in vain, but I needed to have that much information in to give you context to what I was narrating to you.