Before even getting into this post, I should mention that I myself use an LG phone — the Lotus, to be exact — a small, purple, square clamshell with a full keyboard that looks exactly like birth control. Gratefully, it seems to make calls pretty well, and does wonders controlling my reproductive cycle. But now I have a whole new reason to cradle my phone to sleep: LG has put out a series of ads featuring noneotherthan the King of Acting himself, Jon Lovitz James Lipton, host of Inside the Actor’s Studio.

In the ads, Lipton watches over some young, unsuspecting teen, and then creepily removes his beard and places it on their face so that they may make the correct decision. And in our favorite out of the series, which you can see over at AdFreak, Lipton questions a young man’s decision to send photos of his “junk.” Only, “junk” is said so dramatically that merely hearing his lips utter the term filled me with pure decadent joy. That’s a gift only Lipton can give, and something that makes me want to rebuy my phone all over again. And no, they didn’t pay me to say that.

Ahead, a commercial where Lipton says “Pussywillow” for your fellas out there.