It’s Okay to Say No

Why do we feel like we have to say “yes” to everything? To the guy handing out flyers on the street, to your friend that wants to hang out when you’d rather be alone, to your mom when she asks you for the fourth time to help her with her iCloud account. Sometimes, it’s better for all parties involved to just decline the offer. I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I always seek to please. I seem to always put the needs of others before my own. That’s why it’s so hard for me to say no. I don’t ever want to disappoint anyone, but lately I’ve come to realize that it’s better to take care of yourself than be on everyone’s good side.

I hate when people are mad or disappointed on account of my actions. I literally will think about it for days; I get so torn up when someone expresses their frustration with me. I always think back to what I could have done better or how I could have disappointed them less. I’m not quite sure why, maybe it’s because my parents always taught me to treat others the way I want to be treated (which means I should treat others like royalty, if you were wondering), or maybe it’s just because of my personality. So naturally, I end up doing people a lot of favors. I end up going out of my way to make sure everyone is happy. And most importantly, I end up saying yes way too much. And sometimes, it’s better to just say no.

I’ve learned lately that you can do everything a lot better when you’re feeling great. It took some trial and error, but I think I’ve got the hang of it. If you’re giving something a half-ass effort, you’re not doing it to the best of your ability. I’m a firm believer that anything worth doing is worth doing right. (Thanks, Dad, for ingraining that one in my mind.) This means that if you can’t give your best effort, it’s better to not even do it at all. So for both me AND you, I am going to start saying no more. When I just don’t feel like I can give 100%, it’s probably best if I don’t give anything at all.

Some may say that putting yourself before others is selfish but I beg to differ. Taking care of yourself is the first step in taking care of others. In the long run, you will end up doing more damage than good when you take on a task you’re not prepared for. I have found success in declining the offers I don’t want and accepting the ones I do. I am able to be a better daughter, friend, and overall person when I take care of myself first. I’m trying not to do anything I don’t want to do, nor putting myself in situations where I know I will be crabby/mean/uncomfortable. It’s always okay to say no, no matter who you could potentially disappoint.