I'm a 34 year-old male with an embarrassing and irritating problem that's destroying my sex life.

When sexually aroused, I produce and emit a large amount of pre-ejaculatory fluid. By sexually aroused I mean even watching something sexy on the computer, or thinking about sex. This seems to be getting worse over the years.

The problems this causes me are two-fold.

Firstly, when I'm in an intimate situation with a woman, I'm nervous and embarrassed when we reach the point where my penis is exposed because at that point I'm very wet. I've seen and heard different reactions to this and it's usually of disgust or surprise. The worst part is sometimes I don't even have an erection when this happens so it's just a flaccid penis oozing pre-ejaculate From that point onwards it becomes difficult if not impossible for me to continue with sex since Im so embarrassed.

Secondly, if I am able to advance beyond foreplay and into intercourse, I can't keep a condom on for more than a few minutes before it's so slippery inside from pre-ejaculate that it starts to come off. At this point I have to stop sex, take off the condom, dry my penis off and put on a new one. Usually after 3 or 4 times my partner and I get so frustrated that I stop being able to perform. Unfortunately it's very difficult for me to achieve orgasm through intercourse - I usually need at least 20 minutes of constant activity so obviously this becomes an issue when I have to change condoms every 3 minutes.

Overall I'm pretty healthy. My one thought is that I masturbate too much (at least once a day) so I've cut back to once a week but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I know a certain amount of pre-ejaculate is normal but when it's so much that it begins to ruin my sex life, I feel I need help.

Is there anyone that can offer any advice on what to do about this? I'm desperate!

Hi there, thank you for posting your question on Ehealthforum. This is not intended as a substitute to visiting your own doctor.

This problem will get less as you get older. Some antihistamines might reduce it and that's worth trying. But its normal. Tell the lady that she is exiting you too much. Try to have a sense of humour about it. I do not think there is any surgery for this and in any case that would be too radical.

I have this same problem, I just turned 34 it's not because im in puberty. I have trouble maintaining an erection often and the more trouble I have the more preejaculate is coming out. The two are definitely linked. My doctor just shrugs it off like you seem to. The medical establishment likes to sell pills so the answer to this is probably not easily found. I have seen a theory that says its due to weakening of the para sympathetic nerve which is what keeps the valve for semen and urine closed. I also feel like I need to pee a lot when I go theres not that much urine. They are of course trying to sell the treatment and I'm worried their answer is bogus but the theory sounds absolutely correct from what I'm experiencing. I use cialis sometimes and when it works well there is little fluid before I cum but sometimes even the drug doesn't work as well as I would like and the problem is still present. What do you think about that theory?

For condoms slipping off, try the "female condom." It goes in the woman's vagina(or guy's ass) and stays in there. You go in and out ofthe condom. They make a little crinkly noise is their only drawback. They're totally worth trying out some time. You have to have a partner willing to try it, but sex does take some figuring out. You can't realistically just turn off the lights and everyone has a good time.

As you know, men produce precum on a spectrum of none to tons. You're on the tons end and some people think it's hot. I'm pretty much drizabone and think precum is hot.

For condoms slipping off, try the "female condom." It goes in the woman's vagina(or guy's ass) and stays in there. You go in and out ofthe condom. They make a little crinkly noise is their only drawback. They're totally worth trying out some time. You have to have a partner willing to try it, but sex does take some figuring out. You can't realistically just turn off the lights and everyone has a good time.

As you know, men produce precum on a spectrum of none to tons. You're on the tons end and some people think it's hot. I'm pretty much drizabone and think precum is hot.

It is a known fact that men who are balding have extra testosterone in their body
and certain hair follicles can have reaction to it and die so question you may consider
is guys who have excessive precum do they have balding issues.
I suspect you will find some do and some don't but would be interesting to see if there is a link.

DISCLAIMER:
"Ask a Doctor" questions are answered by certified physicians and other medical professionals.
For more information about experts participating in the "Ask a Doctor" Network, please visit our
medical experts page.
You may also visit our Sexual Health - Men , for moderated patient to patient support and information.

The information provided on eHealth Forum is designed to improve, not replace, the relationship between a patient and his/her own physician.
Personal consultation(s) with a qualified medical professional is the proper means for diagnosing any medical condition.