Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Moo..

They involve my fellow dieting peeps surrounding me in a circle as I am voraciously consuming a piece of pie...they are yelling, "INTERVENTION, ...INTERVENTION!!!"....

I quickly look up at their angry faces with crumbs upon my lips, as the pie piece slides out of my hands to the floor below. I cry sweet, sugary tears and realize I have only hurt myself, and the remainder of pie in my mouth spews out with a small whimper.

"Boo hoo, moo, moo, moo...Boo hoo" I explain. Unable to sound like a person but rather, a large hay munching bovine...

My peeps look upon me with disapproval and disgust, and I am left reviewing my choices, and chewing my cud._______________________________________________________

I think perhaps I have stumbled upon some deep, inner meaning to my diet nightmares...it's profound...

I am secretly wishing I were a cow.Really ..it makes sense...then I wouldn't have to explain my burgeoning belly to anyone, and my farmer would think I'm top notch, ...eats lots, raises good calves, doesn't mind a messy pen. I would be worth my weight in ...well...milk.

5 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Why don't you just get pregnant, and get back to the good old days of big macs, and cinnabons?? Sounds like a WAY better plan than eating blackened parmesan tomatoes. Don't ya think??

LOL! You always make me laugh. I need it today. Too much sickness going on at my house. Thanks for the prayers. The little man seems to be doing some better. I think your onto something about wishing you were a cow. I know I wish I was and then I wouldn't have to try so hard to lose. Alas...I am not. So....I will keep trying (mostly failing) at getting off this 40 lbs!