Coalition to privatise the moral high ground

Sources within government say the Conservative Manifesto for the next election will include privatisation of the moral high ground. One senior minister who preferred not to be named, Michael Gove, said in a speech at a private function:

“For too long, the moral high ground has been seen as a free and public space, owned and controlled by the state. But the economic mess left by Labour means we have, somehow, to pay back literally trillions. America’s fiscal cliff has demonstrated how dangerous high ground can be without a sense of economic morality.

Our own ethical uplands, mostly in the South East, whose excellent transport links and attractive villages are sources of legitimate pride, cannot be allowed to be given over to ramblers who have not paid to be there. Benefit scroungers, black economists and the working poor must pay their way, just like anyone else. Which is why it is both logical and fair to sell off parcels of this property – some of which could be developed commercially - to people who would dearly love to occupy the moral high ground but have hitherto been barred from it, simply because it is in “public ownership”. A concept that recalls the dark 1970’s days of Red Ken ruling with the iron fist of a Soviet dinosaur.

The fact that these areas are sought after and therefore expensive means they can be a vital source of revenue. Moreover, many of these areas are woefully under-occupied. Those who have forfeited their stakes to the moral high ground, much of it within commuting distance of the city, include the Church of England with its tawdry rows over homosexual lady-boy bishops, and the BBC.”