Trufax

We’ve already explained in absolute terms why you might find the occasional rupee spirited away. I found a Link inside a Wind Waker gashapon that I ostensibly got for my son, and the figure included a little rupee inside the egg, and they’re just as desirable in real life. I took it. Oh, don’t look at me like that. He has no idea what it is.

So, rupees; obviously, we know all about those. They’ve been recast as plump in the new one, as though gems could be ripe, which has had the effect of magnifying their power even further. But the hearts? That’s pretty weird, right? Why are they coming out of there? Don’t worry; we have compressed this notion as well.

Child’s Play is off like a shot, and between Erika’s stellar redesign slash Kristin and Jamie’s organizational know-how the entire thing hums. Is it customary for a charity to have a calendar you could describe as “bad-ass”? Let those other charities play it safe with their mealy-mouthed chronologies while we deliver the scheduling equivalent of Beast Mode. At $740,000 as of this morning, you might think that we could take a moment to be satisfied, or to pose at length for an oil portrait. To “chill,” in the parlance of the young.

But you know as we do - that 2010’s haul is ever nipping at the heel, baying in its pursuit. It is our task, collectively, to make a simple assertion: to state, numerically and without equivocation, that regardless of how increasingly fucked absolutely everything is, this didn’t change.

Desert Bus is days into their apocalyptic journey, and they need you to get out and push. Won’t you help?