Since birth, many of us have been taught to compete for what we want in life. We compete with our peers in school for the best grades, because only so many people can get As. This mindset continues through college and forces us to compete to the point where we mislead and deceive our own friends, because there’s only a limited number of opportunities to go around. This competitive mentality is prevalent our careers because only so many people can get the promotion or raise. We compete because we believe resources are limited and there’s not enough to go around for everyone. This is the wrong way to think about things. There’s more food grown and processed in the US for everyone to eat, but children are starving. There’s more building materials alone in the US for everyone to have shelter, but people are homeless. We’ve been convinced that there’s not enough resources to go around and as a result, we don’t even try to get the things we desire, because our circumstances leave us less competitive. But this doesn’t have to be the case.

Resources are vast, even the most skilled economist can’t quantify the resources available on God’s green earth. The visible supply seems unlimited, let alone the invisible supply. How do we quantify something that’s limitless? Opportunity is limitless. Jobs are limitless. Money is limitless. It is quite possible that you don’t have what you want in life because you’ve been trying to get it the wrong way. We’ve been competing with others, but we only need to compete with ourselves to attain all that we desire.

I’m only scratching the surface of this idea, and of course the concepts outlined below could benefit from further explanation. But below are five steps you can take to create the opportunities you want without competing for them.

Create something. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be a business, a fundraising campaign, a committee or coalition. It could be a mentor organization, or a big event around a holiday or specific cause. In my last blog post, The Real Reason We Hate Our Jobs I argued that we are formed to create. We have the unique ability to create whatever we want to make our lives more convenient. When you create something, you do 99% more than most people. What you’ve created says a lot more about your character and potential than what you’ve been able to accomplish through competition.

Tell people about what you’ve created. Document it. You can do this in a blog, yes, people still read blogs. Make a documentary, take some pictures, write a journal or a novel. Document it on social media, like YouTube, Facebook, Twitter. This is a very cost efficient way to tell people about what you’ve created. If what you’ve created has value, people will ‘like’ it, upload, download, and share it. Whether you get an overwhelming response about what you’ve created or not, read the next step.

Improve what you’ve created. Once you’ve created something, make it better. When you create something you have the ability and unlimited potential to improve it. Seek feedback. Conduct research. Be willing to fail fast to make continuous improvements. Listen to your audience. The market will tell you exactly what they want, what they’re willing to pay for, and if they’re willing to pay you for it.

Use what you’ve created. Be a walking example of the positive effects what you’ve created can bring. The only reason I can convince people to pay me to help them get their dream jobs is because I’ve had my dream job since I graduated college. They believe me because the information I share worked for me and for many others who’ve used my services. For anyone to buy into what you’ve created, you must have living proof. Show don’t tell.

Give what you’ve created. Some of the best advice I ever received was, give your services away for free before you expect to get paid for them. I started out helping my friends and family for free, then started charging about $10 per hour for my services. Soon, my demand grew so much that I had to charge a lot more and it became lucrative enough for me to quit my day job. I run my business on the motto that if I give more in use value than I receive in cash value for the service I provide, I will always be in business. If it’s valuable, people will come to you from all directions to return the value you gave them, in the form of capital.

The competitive mind frame teaches us to compete with other people in order to reach our goals. People of this mindset believe that resources are limited and opportunity is sectioned off, therefore we must compete with everyone around us for those scarce assets. If you are deliberate and conscious about being a better person every day, by learning from you mistakes, developing new skills, and perfecting your craft, you’re going to grow exponentially. You will soon be far ahead of others and realize that there is no one else to compete with but yourself.

When you adopt the creative point of view and rid yourself of the competitive point of view, you will no longer be in a rush to get things done. There’s never a bad time to create value. If you add value to others, others will add value to you and help you get ahead in life. As long as we continue to grow along our own path, we will shine and so will others, and that’s okay.

No matter the role, no matter the responsibility, no matter the perks or compensation, a lot of us are completely unhappy at work. This is bad news because if we work a modest 40 hours a week and get an average of six hours of sleep per night, we spend about a third of our waking hours at work. Many of us spend more time with our colleagues than we do our families. Including the time we spend commuting, working evenings and weekends, answering emails, and preparing for projects and presentations, we spend more than half our waking hours preoccupied with our occupations. The bottom line is, we should be extremely happy with our jobs since we devote our lives to them.

There’s a bunch of reasons why people say they’re unhappy at work including a lack of fulfillment, lack of commitment, being overworked, underpaid, and unrewarded. These reasons are simply topical. The real reason we hate our jobs is because we aren’t growing. It is essential to our happiness that we should continuously advance.

One thing that separates us from all other living organisms is that we can grow in whatever direction we choose. We do not know the limits to our growth or that there are limits at all. We see new advances in human ability every day. New world records are set all the time. Advances in technology and healthcare are the direct result of our ability to grow in the direction of our choice. We are formed for growth, and we are under the necessity of growth. Life without progress becomes unendurable and the person who stops growing becomes imbecilic or insane.

The greater and more well-rounded our growth, the happier we will be. Good is the enemy of great. One reason I left my previous position is because I knew what to expect, and I wanted to more. I knew that I would get a three percent merit raise each year on average and after three to five years in that role I would get a modest promotion and the cycle would continue until I retired. I had a good job, but I wanted a great job. Too many of us are satisfied with good enough. And before we know it, we become dissatisfied with the things ‘good enough’ brought us. It’s important to our overall happiness that we become well-rounded professionals. We must grow our overall professional skill-set. We must grow in our problem solving, general management, and analytical skills. Although I was gaining a lot of experience and growing in some areas, my growth was neither great nor well-rounded until I took ownership.

Our growth needs to be deliberate. It can’t just happen, we must be intentional about making it happen. I instruct my clients to interview employers as much as the employers are interviewing them. I tell them to ask two questions, 1. What kind of professional development opportunities are in place for people in this role? and 2. How have you (the interviewer) grown as a result of being here (at this company)? Their responses will tell you a lot about opportunities for growth. Too many employers feel as if professional development happens by osmosis. They have the idea that employees will develop professionally just by being around other seasoned employees. There’s a lot to be learned through observation, but if that’s the extent of our growth, we’ll grow discontented with the snail-like pace of our development.

Our growth needs to align with our long-term goals. If we are moving forward in a direction other than intended, we won’t be happy for long. After walking-on to Michigan’s football team as a freshman, I made a tough decision and retired two years later. I was moving up the ranks quickly and even saw playing time as a freshmen, which is rare for a walk-on at Michigan. I no longer had goals of going to the NFL, so I decided to pursue my other passion, helping young people reach their fullest potential. I had a similar experience in my career. I thought I would retire as a professional in higher education; and to an extent, I was growing quickly in the field. But it would have made no sense for me to continue on that path if I didn’t have a long-term goal to become an administrator. What good is climbing the corporate ladder when it’s leaning against the wrong building?

Our growth needs to be holistic and harmonious. The tools at our disposal and the people around us should contribute to our development, not impede it. I was in an interview once and the interviewer asked me what I would do to improve the employee morale, and I quipped “look around.” Looking back, I shouldn’t have been so snarky, but the 1960’s décor made me slightly sad. How do you expect to grow if you’re looking at drab art work and grey cubicle walls? I told them that we need to give the employees more ownership over their work space. I suggested that the images around them serve as constant reminders of the organization’s mission and goals. Our growth isn’t harmonious if the people around us don’t have the same opportunity we have to advance. There needs to be fairness and equality in our environment in order to grow freely. If the people around you knowingly or unknowingly limit your growth, it’s impossible to mature along your desired path.

The purpose of life for man is growth. When we don’t have time to use the things designed to add to our growth we become agitated. We need time to make and appreciate art and literature, and people, and conversation, and stillness. And the more time we spend developing other people or organizations that are not aligned with our growth, this irritation becomes unbearable. Our number one job is to develop ourselves. When we place a priority on developing ourselves, we grow; and when we continuously advance, we find everlasting joy in our environment, particularly in our workplace.

I’m sick and tired of running into professional fraudsters, or “Fraud Willies” as Jay-Z likes to call them. Nowadays, it’s difficult to tell the real from the fake. I blame a lot of the business articles in the universe telling people to fake it before they make it. They tell us to get an answering service when we have a small company to make it look bigger than it is, they tell us to round up our percentages to the nearest hundred, they tell us to get in circles and rub elbows with big wigs before we’ve done anything significant. But this philosophy is very problematic for a number of reasons.

The problem

When you build up your ego with false impressions of majesty when you have little or no talent, ability, or experience to support the way you represent yourself it will end badly, very badly. (See the con artist chronicled in American Greed). When you fake it, you come across as disingenuous. You’ll make big mistakes, and you’ll make a number of miscalculations all because you haven’t created an environment where you don’t have to fake it. When you fake it, you lose all credibility in the minds of others and you probably don’t even know it.

Faking it is so detrimental to the individual because when people fake it well, it opens doors that wouldn’t have otherwise been opened. When you fake it and get small wins you never realize the need to work hard. One lie or half-truth will lead to bigger lies and more half-truths. If you’re good at faking it, you get more wins and more doors will open, but the world will soon get to know you for who you really are. Your reputation will become irrevocably stained, and that’s the point of no return. Self-destruction is imminent.

The solution

Instead of faking it till you make it, my philosophy is to make it so you don’t have to fake it. Be so good that your work speaks for itself. Below are ten steps to make it without ever having to fake it.

1. Do things in the right order. Build and perfect your craft first, then go out and tell people about it. Create results before you start boasting about what you’re capable of doing. If you’re really good, you won’t have to say a word, your reputation will precede you.

2. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. This is the worst. So many people make promises and when they can’t deliver it’s a huge let down. If you don’t have the power to make something happen, simply don’t make that claim.

3. Show, don’t tell. Your actions should speak so loudly that I can’t hear a word you’re saying. If you’re not 100% certain that you can close a deal, shut your mouth. If you do have the power to make things happen, just make them happen.

4. Don’t force it. Understand that greatness happens with time and that you will get there if you do things in the right way. The reason why people feel like they have to fake it is because they believe it’s a short cut to the top. But there are no short cuts, it takes time to analyze and learn from your mistakes.

5. Follow up when and how you said you would. When you can’t follow up because you faked your power or ability to make a certain thing happen, your prestige and value diminishes. If some external factor stopped a deal from happening, be clear and communicate ahead of time.

6. Be consistent. The truth is consistent and lies are inconsistent. This is how fraudsters get caught. There are too many inconsistencies when we fake it. People will easily see through your façade and will call you out.

7. Don’t exaggerate. So many people in the entrepreneur crowd exaggerate their knowledge, their experience, their expertise, their accomplishments, their relationships and their compensation. If you put in the work to reach your goals there’s no need to exaggerate, your actual numbers and results will be good enough to brag about.

8. Focus on what you’re good at. Do what you’re passionate about. You can’t fake passion or enthusiasm, it’s most believable when it’s most natural. If you’re not good at something, don’t do it. Figure out your strengths and operate in them.

9. Reflect on your goals. When you think about your long-term goals and objectives, you’ll see that faking it takes too much time and energy and it actually moves you further and further away from your goals. The best way to accomplish your goals is to put in the hard work.

​10. Don’t name drop. Stay as far away as possible. If you build strong, positive, and lasting relationships with VIPs, they will drop your name and solidify your credibility without your permission.

A lot of people frame faking it till you make in the sense that it gives people confidence when they just can’t seem to muster up any. But if you’re successful, it will give you all the confidence you need to carry on. The real way to boost confidence is to create positive outcomes and being prepared for opportunities.

Where I’m from, they say “real recognize real”. When you come across someone who really puts in the work to be great, they will quickly discover your fraudulent persona. You can recognize those who make it and those who fake it by the fruit they bear.

​While it is popular nowadays, faking it is too difficult; being real is easy and is a much more effective way to reach your goals.

When potential employers, clients, business partners, or anyone for that matter, view your LinkedIn profile they are inviting you into their home or office to have a conversation without your permission. What are you communicating through your profile? One reason why LinkedIn is so effective is because it gives you the opportunity to showcase your value to the world through a bio or summary. When you do all you can to optimize your LinkedIn profile you communicate to employers that you have a strong personal brand, that you’re a savvy job seeker, and that you are aware enough to keep up with current trends in the job market. Below are three common mistakes I see regarding LinkedIn summaries. 1.You don’t have a bio. You know how it feels when you try to strike up a conversation with someone and you get blank stares in response? Yeah, that’s how it feels when I visit someone’s LinkedIn profile and they don’t have a bio. You have a great picture, you have the magic number of connections, but you don’t have a bio. Something’s wrong. 2.It’s too short. A lot of people have a bio, but it’s nothing to write home about. They offer a few empty sentences of what they’re interested in, they make a passive mention of their experience and work history, and give a short list of their areas of expertise. This simply isn’t good enough. 3.It’s written in the third person. How cold and uninviting. Employers want to have a conversation with you, not your speechwriter. Your profile should be personable, yet professional, but this doesn’t mean it has to read like you’re being introduced to deliver a keynote speech. Below are three ways to improve your bio. 1.Be personable. Employers hire people they like and people do business with people they like, so be likable. You can show your likability by the words and phrases you use and by your tone. Your bio should not only include your professional experience, background and career goals, but it should also include things about your personal life, like what you like to do when you’re not working. 2. Maximize the character count. LinkedIn allows you to use 2,000 characters, about 330 words to explain your value through your bio. If someone told you that you have exactly five minutes to convince them why they should hire or partner with you, would you use five minutes or three minutes? You should use five, because if you use three, you make the assumption that you’ve said enough. But what if you haven’t? There’s so much to say about the value you offer and you can’t do this in only a few sentences. 3. Speak to your audience. Be sure to have a specific purpose for wanting people to view your profile. If it’s to get a new job, you need to speak to hiring managers and people in the industry. If it’s to get new clients, you may need to approach your bio from a different angel. Regardless of who your audience is, you need to ask yourself a few questions that will help you communicate to them more effectively. What do you want them to learn about you? How do you want them to feel? What are your short and long term goals? It’s easier for people to help you when they know how they can help you. Be clear, be persuasive, and leave your audience wanting more. A well-written bio is critical as it allows you to make the connections you want to get the opportunities you deserve. So make it count, make it better, make it beautiful, make it powerful.

One reason LinkedIn is so effective is because it showcases the strength of your professional network. This is your opportunity to show the world who you are, who you know, who likes you, who recommends you, and who endorses you for your skills. LinkedIn has changed the job search strategy process for job seekers and streamlined the recruiting process for employers. In the age of technology, it’s important to understand the nuances of LinkedIn and how to use it to our advantage. If you’re using LinkedIn, you should use it grow, broaden, and strengthen your professional network. Your LinkedIn profile should communicate your value in more ways than one. One way to communicate your value is to have more than 500 connections, which is necessary for a few reasons.After 500 connections, LinkedIn stops counting. Think about the message this sends employers. It sends a message that you’re important, that you’re someone to know, someone who has a strong network, and someone who must be able to add value to others. Employers want employees with strong networks because they are beneficial to companies. When employers hire you, they hire your network. They know you will rely on your network to do a good job. If there’s an open position at your new company, you may know the perfect person to fill it. If your employer is trying to solve a complex problem, you’ll likely reach out to your network for answers. You want more than 500 connections so you can rank higher in the search results. Think of your connections as links to your website. If your profile was a website and it had more hits or traffic directed to or from it, it will appear higher in the search results. If you only have 200 LinkedIn connections, your profile may not be as visible as others with more connections. Should someone search for your job title, or the company you work for, your profile will be listed higher in the search results according to how active you are. If you have more connections, you’re connected to infinitely more people. LinkedIn only shows you connections that are separated by three degrees. If you’re connected to more people, obviously your network of 3rd degree connections will grow. These may become 2nd degree, and ultimately 1st degree connections, which could translate to infinitely more opportunities. With more connections, inevitably more people will endorse you for your skills. This is yet another reason why LinkedIn is so effective. When others endorse you for your skills, this communicates to employers that you truly have those skills. Similar to the idea behind why you should aim for more connections, you should aim for more endorsements. When you have only a few endorsements for your skills, it sends the message to would be employers that only your friends and family endorsed you. The ultimate goal here is to have more than 99 people endorse you for your skills because, again, LinkedIn stops counting. Getting more connections and endorsements won’t happen overnight and it needs to happen organically. You can do this by adding people you know including former co-workers, classmates, acquaintances, mentors, and friends. You can also research your friends’ connections to see if you would want to get to know someone in your field. Finally, you should connect with people after meeting them at networking events.Don’t be too private when it comes to adding people. If strangers add you, don’t be alarmed. It’s just as if a stranger walked into your store from the street. Would you deny him for no reason? Would you welcome him in and invite him to stay? What if he has the opportunity of a lifetime for you? There shouldn’t be any personal information on your profile. Don’t include your address, phone number, or personal email. If people want to get in touch with you, they should send you a message through your LinkedIn inbox. When you don’t have more than 500 connections, you’re communicating to employers that you don’t have a strong network, that you’re not a savvy job seeker, and that others may not view you as an important person to know. Maybe that’s not the case, but you may not get the opportunity to offer a counter narrative. By growing your connections through LinkedIn, you’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain.