This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons.

The National Archives have released a script, written by the BBC and the government in the 1970’s, that was to be aired on the radio following a nuclear attack on Britain.

The cold war was still going strong, and tensions were often high. Nowadays, such a message would be pretty pragmatic, stating simply “This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons. You’re all pretty much fucked. Good luck with that.” The full script is after the jump.

But back in the ’70’s, the public was often provided with advice that, looking back, is quaint and outdated. Anyone remember the public information films that suggested you take a door off its hinges and place it against a wall, to hide behind? Because we all know that an MDF door can protect you from 1000-mile an hour winds at several thousand degrees, right? But at that time, to a kid like me of five or six who had an air-raid siren on the roof of his school and was used to hearing it be tested every month, it was scary stuff.

The script is perhaps a little more pragmatic than that, but still very BBC in its quaintness, advising you to avoid flushing the toilet until advised to do so, to stay in your own homes as walls and roofs offer substantial protection, and to only turn your radio on every two hours to listen to the emergency broadcasts, to save battery life.

Nowadays, of course, the first thing to go through the countless millions of chav minds that we seem to be saddled with in this Godforsaken country would be either which car they would TWOK first, or which store they would loot. BBC