The Ballad of Mike Moran takes its name from the New York firefighter who issued a challenge to Osama bin Laden at one of the tribute concerts. Other Osama insults are just a little more subtle. (2.22.2002)

I wish I could be paid to "pursue" Bigfoot and the Abominable Snowman with the protection of tenure. It's the perfect scam, and Loren Coleman does that at the University of Southern Maine. He's becoming a surrogate spokesperson for the recently-passed Grover Krantz. I simply can't figure out what the economic value of cryptozoology might be. Go ahead and do it for fun, but what about spending work time studying something useful? (2.18.2002)

You wouldn't think it would be necessary to tell people not to send porn on their employers' e-mail accounts, but some RR Donnelly employees apparently weren't so bright. Maybe they should have taken the work happiness quiz. On the note of what people do at work, check out the bio page for ISU professor Kenneth Jolls. This guy's a bit busy on and off the clock. (2.14.2002)

Marketing can't save a product gone awry. And no amount of marketing can get me to believe that Al Gore can be taken seriously. Good riddance. I'd rather let some schmuck named Ron get the job. (2.6.2002)

Colorgenics appears to be about as valid as a $2.99 a minute horoscope. (2.6.2002)