I have made no secret that we have been going through a lot of trials for the last few years and this week is no exception but the Lord has given me a few insights as to why his trials are so needed even if it causes us much pain. The first and foremost thing I have learned as of today is trials bring you closer to the Lord . When real trouble hits especially financial don't be surprised to see all your friends even family desert you. Something about being poor and in need just seems to make people uncomfortable. A lot of them few you as being irresponsible thus they think you had it coming to you.. Some feel sad and that makes them uncomfortable. I have even had one friend say you sure have a lot of bad things happen to you and I just find it so depressing to be around you. After enduring many health crisis I have been told by well meaning people I should give up my home at the farm and just take it easy. What they fail to see is that even if I gave up the farm my health would not improve in fact I believe it would get worse. I have a disease that causes constant nerve pain. Having the farm gives me a good reason to stay active and thus keep moving so i don't seize up. My problem with Kidney stones would not change if I sold the farm and my Chrone's disease and asthma would still exist as well. What they fail to see is I enjoy my life on the farm and living in a small box in some town no matter how nice would not help improve my health.I am grieved that no one recognises the strength that the Lord gives me to keep traversing hardship nor do they see the hope and courage he gives me that keep my feet planted on the land he provided for us. I understand our situation may look bleak to some but I serve an awesome God that can do the impossible You see if you are under heavy trail or crisis the best thing to do is to seek the Lord and not listen to well meaning friends and family. Often trials get worse when we try to work through them ourselves by working harder to solve them by our own strength. Some times in the words of Charles Stanley we have to come to the end of ourselves and we have to be persuaded by the holy spirit that we can't live the christian life in our own strength we need Gods help and he will allow trials that simply exhaust your heart body and soul and when you are left in a sobbing heap (I have been there this week) he will reveal to you that you must walk by faith not by sight. You must surrender yourself mind-body and soul to him and ask his help in everything you do, Involve him in your plans hope and dreams and trust him. Wait for him to signal you on your next move. Sometimes the Lord uses a situation to persuade us to surrender to him our plans and trust him for the outcome. This has been a hard lesson for me to grasp. I heard quite clearly from the Lord that the trials we are going through were designed not to punish us (my husband and myself) but to bring us closer to him so he could advise and prepare us for what is coming next. I believe that the Lord hurts very deeply when he sees his child crying out in frustration and pain. Especially when he is trying to get our attention in order to help us not punish us. I have often joked that since i stopped working this summer and stayed home on the farm I find it a little lonely so I often talk to my animals and I was afraid my neighbour might hear and think I am nuts. But it never Occurred to me to talk to the Lord about what I thought were the mundane details of my life but the Lord made it clear this week that he is interested in every detail of our lives and he likes to hear from us. So as I go about my day I try to talk to him(in my head) about all the things I am doing thinking and feeling. By doing this I am inviting the Lord into my life and asking his opinion on things instead of asking friends. This is a hard thing for me to do and it takes practice but the Lord wants me to trust him with even the most mundane things in life. Now this doesn't mean that sometimes friends can't speak truth into our lives but we must be careful to make sure first that we are receiving Godly council than you should pray about the advice and ask the Lord to show you if you should act on it. I know from a worldly view of my life I should just give up and sell everything and move but I really don't think that is what the Lord would have me do. So many times the Lord has rescued this farm when we went to buy it our mortgage broker came to us two days before we were to close the deal and said that she couldn't find anyone to finance us. Jim and I hit our knees and she phoned back the night before we were to close that she had found someone to finance us. Than we had to get a loan to replace all the fencing on the property and we were told by the bank that I did not make enough money to qualify for the loan so they turned us down. Again we hit our knees and the next day we received a call from the same bank who refused us to say that there was a special promotion being held through telephone banking and I would qualify for the loan and we could pick up the money the next day. So many times the Lord has come through for us but somehow over the years we had forgotten that and we seeked the council of men and not the Lord. We had allowed ourselves to view our situations through worldly eyes doing things the world would expect and we got off track we were no longer walking in faith but by sight with worldly eyes I would be the first to admit it takes a lot of courage to walk by faith not by sight, to wait and seek the Lord but I know that if I want to continue to grow and be blessed in the Lord I need to trust him. So with this renewed way of thinking Ě will wait with eagerness to see how the Lord will work in our lives

Contact me at jennifermolloy@outlook.com
I am a freelance writer and poet that writes poetry and commentary on my christian life. I live in northern Ont. on a small hobby farm with my husband and an assortment of dogs, cats,horses,donkey and goats. I write to glorify my savior.
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