Summary

This episode had a joint press conference between Val Venis and John Wayne Bobbitt. A limo pulls up and inside are John and Val. Val is in a wheelchair, being pushed by John and flanked by Mrs. Yamaguchi, who in a bizarre plot twist last week was revealed as Taka Michinoku's sister. Val's got an icepack on on his lap. John asks "Are you still hanging in there?"

Val responds "Hello, ladies. You know tonight I come to you a humble man, half the man that I used to be, but you know, it's like they say - you live by the sword and you die by the sword. You know there's only one way to stop the mighty boa - and that's to sever it at the head. Well ladies, you better take a rain check on them new snakeskin boots, because - because - the BIG VALBOWSKI is alive, and ready to bite baby!"

"Well you know something, thanks to a cold butcher's block, heh heh heh, and a little shrinkage, and of course my good friend, John Wayne Bobbitt, who just
happened to cut the lights just at the appropriate time, the Big Valbowski
is standing at full attention, cocked, rocked and ready to unload."

Lawler turns to Bobbitt for his lines: "We live on the edge - Val ordered a club
soda with a slice and the bartender tried to cut us off."

Val replies to Bobbitt: "John I don't want to cut you short - but I understand your ex-wife Lorena actually threw something out the window and it was lost out there for a while, but they found it right?" John: "Yeah they found it" Val: "Well that's a good thing because I was thinking how funny a picture of that would look on the side of a milk carton."

Back to Val: "Baby, it's been a long, hard road - but it ends right here, baby! You know something, ah don't cry baby, you see NO woman is worth the trouble that you brought me - no woman! I hope you enjoyed the ride baby, because this is where you get off! So take your shoes from under my bed and hit the bricks. Adios!" Val throws her a battery on the way out. "Goodbye lady!"[1]