Looking for advice on middle school girls!

UUUGHHHH...I have 2 daughters...12 & 13. I am so sick of middle-school girl drama!! It's always something. I thought since they go to a REALLY small school it would be better, but...I think I was wrong. Prayers for everyone with teenage/pre-teen girls...and boys!!

I cringed when I saw this...my daughter is 5 but going on 13....sigh...I guess it's a parental right of passage I have to look forward to!

DBANGLES
Posts:
48
1/24/12 9:44 P

I have had two middle school girls and it can be mind blowing!! I am also a middle school teacher. What you are saying mostly normal. I think the best thing is to provide your children with a soft place to fall and an ear to listen. I would also implement a technology plan-- times for it and time not to use it! Monitor your child's social networking. Teenagers become very self centered and peer oriented beasts!! They will grow out of it. Hang in there and just use your best judgment.

i hate to be the bearer of this particular news, but i will. all three of mine are in high school now and that is text book middle school crap. the VERY best thing you can do is listen but DO NOT let yourself get sucked into the middle school girl drama. it's over the top, it's ridiculous, it's extremely irrational. it's hurtful, and most survive. the mom's who let themselves get sucked in, turn into the bigger drama stirrers themselves. i think the majority of them begin with good intentions. we are all momma bears when we feel our little cubs are threatened. middle school drama is not threats. it sucks, but it's not threats. you don't have to save her. just be there for her and listen. if there are extrodinary things going on that are actual threats, get involved. otherwise, as painful as it is to watch, this tide will pass

I might not be the best person to give advice on this one, but I'm going to anyway. I vividly remember sixth grade. One day you're friends, the next you're plotting ways to torture other girls. I've been there. Let your daughter know that there is a line between picking on someone and being downright MEAN. Calling someone a frizz head is not the end of the world. Spreading rumors about how that same frizz head never takes a bath is another. Most of it is just girls being girls at that age. If your daughter acts like it's hurting her feelings, talk to her. Let her try to work it out with the girls FIRST. I am a firm believer in letting kids try to work things out for themselves first. It builds character and lets them know that mom and dad want you to make decisions and solve problems for themselves. However, if it turns physical, by all means step in and say something. If it's a little harmless name calling, my daughter (who is in 4th grade) will give it right back to them. If it turns physical, she gets physical right back, then mom and dad step in. A lot of people won"t agree with the statement I'm about to make, but I'm going to make it anyway. We raise our daughter to stand up for herself and those that can't, NEVER throw the first punch, but if someone DOES hit her, she has our blessing to whale on them. If they can't take it, they don't need to dish it out. (Maybe it's cause we're from the South. I don't know.) She almost got suspended in kindergarten because she punched a little boy in the mouth because he tried to kiss her.

Having said all that, unless it turns cruel in the name calling, etc., or gets physical, let it go and let her work it out.

I have a daughter who is a 6th grader. Prior to this year, she had one best friend, and they just mostly played or hung out with each other, so we didn't experience any of the drama that girls that age often are surrounded with. However, this year, they are hanging out with other girls more (which is good!), and now we are starting to hear stories of things these girls say and do to each other. Up until now, there hasn't been anything terribly malicious, nor do they seem to pick on one person exclusively, in fact, it seems each girl in the group has taken a turn being picked on.

This all fits with what I remember from that age, and I know this is part of growing up for girls - a stage we all go through. However, it seems more and more that this can very quickly turn into bullying, especially with all the social networking, texting, and other technologies available to our kids. I'm looking for advice from parents who have been through this age recently on when to stand back, give a little advice and support, and let my daughter solve problems herself, and when to step in a make sure she's protected and safe.

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