Monday, January 5, 2015

You just mopped your kitchen floors. Satisfied, you enjoy
the gleam for a moment, then off you go to whatever’s next. You hear the back
door slam. The kids are home - great! Until you see the muddy footprints they left
all over your just-cleaned floor. You sigh, grab the mop, swab quickly.

Whereupon the dog enters through his doggie-door, dragging
half the yard in with him. "Darn it!" Not happy, you clean up again.

No more than a few minutes later, your spouse arrives with "Honey, I’m home!"and a big smile - but
all you see is the dirt he/she tracked in: "Can’t you at least wipe your shoes
on the mat before you come in the house?! Look at that!" And angrily you grab
the mop and have at it once again . . .

It seems all you see over the next few days is dirt! Dirt on
your floors, dust bunnies under the couch, smudges on the walls. Dirt, dirt,
dirt!

You’ve been hijacked by your
RAS (reticular activating system). Your RAS is a group of cells at the base of your brain stem that
sorts and evaluates incoming data. It filters out the important stuff from
what’s less important so you can function properly.

But here’s the kicker: you determine what’s important. Your RAS simply points your
attention towards whatever supports what you’ve decided is important. Dirt
where you don’t want it? If you make dirt important, then suddenly you see dirt
everywhere! Clean it up and make it an non-issue, you’ll see it at your usual
level of awareness - you’re not fond of dirt, but it doesn’t ruin your day.

This New Year, take charge of your RAS. Make
deliberate decisions about what you want to make important, and let your RAS
bring you evidence to support whatever that is.

So instead of seeing dirt, dirt, dirt - you see happy
children running in, excited to share their day. You enjoy their enthusiasm,
and the muddy footprints are of no consequence. The dog makes you laugh with
his antics as he squirms his way through the doggie door, leaves and twigs in
his wake. Sweeping them up takes but a moment, no biggie. You respond to your
spouse’s joyous “Honey, I’m home!” with a hug and a kiss, and delight in the
good feels that follow. The little bit of dirt your beloved tracked in can
wait. Kisses are far more important.

Take charge of your RAS. Your choice: see the dirt? Or
feel the love. It’s not more complicated than that.

About Me

I'm a psychologist, consultant and speaker who has authored over a dozen books, all of which focus on empowering individuals to be happier, healthier and more successful at work, at home and in relationships. The power of appreciation is the theme that runs through all my books, the latest being "Happy Healthy...Dead: Happy Healthy…Dead: Why What You Think You Know About Aging Is Wrong and How To Get It Right.” If you'd like to know more, please visit www.noellenelson.com!
Thank you.