Tag Archive: mind over matter

Insecurity robs us of fully experiencing life. It inhibits the expression of our true potential. It keeps us from starting conversations, participating in activities, singing out loud, acting silly, sharing our thoughts, trying something new, embracing change and being our true selves.

Please don't notice me.

BUT….Insecurity is a fabrication of our own minds. It’s not a condition or a physical process. It is created by you and I.

INSERT LOGIC HERE –> If we created it, why can’t we just destroy it? Or dismiss it? Or ignore it or tell it that it doesn’t belong here, isn’t welcome here, never did us any good anyways so just take a hike?

“Yeah, right,” you say. “Sure, I’ll just tell it to leave me alone and all of a sudden I’ll be all confident.”That’s right, you just disregard it. And realize that everyone around you is so wrapped up in their own insecurity that they don’t even notice yours. They have no idea. In fact, like you, they probably assume that everyone else is totally ‘together’ and that they’re the only one that’s scared and self-conscious on the inside. Seriously.

Don’t be so skeptical. At least give it a try.

I’m not just the president, I’m also a client

I first tried this purely as a desperate means of survival in my mid-20s when I began working as a receptionist at a vet clinic. I watched our office manager greet clients and pets with ease and confidence, asking the right questions, saying the right things, with an easy, friendly air that made people comfortable. I wished I could do that. Then it occurred to me that the clients didn’t actually know that I was nervous and that if I just pretended to be at ease, they might just buy it. It actually worked. And I didn’t have to pretend for long because when I proved to myself that I could act confident, I couldn’t come up with a reason not to be. It just worked and it was genuine.

I guess it’s kind of a mind over matter thing. You just tell yourself something, (I’m totally fine, I’m comfortable in this setting, I’m calm, I’m in an accepting environment), and then you believe it. The second your brain starts its negative self-talk, dismiss it. A firm, “No, I’m not listening to that,” should do it.

Why is it that our brains don’t seem to have our best interests at heart? If they did, they’d spend the days telling us how wonderful and lovable and special we are. Perhaps we’ll just have to do that for each other.