Getting behind on a trip out of town

Published: Saturday, July 20, 2013 at 10:01 p.m.

Last Modified: Saturday, July 20, 2013 at 10:01 p.m.

Friday was one of those days.

If everything had gone smoothly, I would have been leaving town, on my way to Natchitoches by 9 a.m.

Things did not go smoothly.

Ordinarily, my visit to the Terrebonne Sheriff’s Office, to collect a printed list of recent arrests, takes minutes. But when the jail computer is “down,” the information must be acquired by driving to the jail and copying the list out of a hand-written ledger book.

With any luck, the electronic technicians will have somehow restored the computer’s “upness” by the time I need more records for Monday’s paper.

It was nearly 9 before I left the jail for The Courier.

I thought I could save time by using the Dularge overpass, but I crossed the Navigation Canal Bridge to find a line of cars and trucks waiting for the Dularge overpass to open to motorists. Seemed like forever.

It was closer to 10 when I was finally able to leave The Courier for home. Who was it who said “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.”

Question? “Why doesn’t Buick rhyme with quick?”

It’s another item from that email multi-forwarded to me recently, the essay on the incomprehensibility of the English language.

The same sources listed about a score of additional pronunciation puzzles:

Bandages are wound around wounds, for example.

Further: Farms produce produce. Overloaded municipal dumps must sometimes refuse more refuse. Polish citizens polish their shoes. Leaders can lead only if they “get the lead out ... ” A soldier, under fire, might desert his dessert in the desert.

There being “no time like the present,” he decided to present the present.

A fisherman band member had bass painted on the head of his bass drum. At the first shot, the dove dove into the bushes. She did not object to displaying the grotesque object. When he became an invalid, his insurance became invalid.

The word “row,” meaning fight or disturbance and rhyming with “cow,” is little used locally: There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. We are more familiar with the similar pronunciation change in “The archer put aside his bow to bow to the king.”

Close the door when the strangers get close. The buck does funny things when the does pass by. A flag sewer lost her scissors down the sewer grate. To speed planting, the innovative pig farmer taught his sow to sow.

Finally, the blustery wind began to wind the flag around the pole. The unfortunate tear in his favorite canvas caused the artist to shed a tear. Sometimes, we subject subjects to series of tests.

Meaning shifts: English reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Le Petit: Our reservations for “Nunset Boulevard” are next week, but I understand the community theater summer musical is all the fun we have come to expect from our “order” of singing, dancing pseudo nuns.

The play runs through July 28. Reservations and season tickets at 876-4278, online at Houmalittletheatre.com.

<p>Friday was one of those days. </p><p>If everything had gone smoothly, I would have been leaving town, on my way to Natchitoches by 9 a.m. </p><p>Things did not go smoothly.</p><p>Ordinarily, my visit to the Terrebonne Sheriff's Office, to collect a printed list of recent arrests, takes minutes. But when the jail computer is “down,” the information must be acquired by driving to the jail and copying the list out of a hand-written ledger book.</p><p>With any luck, the electronic technicians will have somehow restored the computer's “upness” by the time I need more records for Monday's paper.</p><p>It was nearly 9 before I left the jail for The Courier. </p><p>I thought I could save time by using the Dularge overpass, but I crossed the Navigation Canal Bridge to find a line of cars and trucks waiting for the Dularge overpass to open to motorists. Seemed like forever.</p><p>It was closer to 10 when I was finally able to leave The Courier for home. Who was it who said “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.”</p><p>Question? “Why doesn't Buick rhyme with quick?”</p><p>It's another item from that email multi-forwarded to me recently, the essay on the incomprehensibility of the English language.</p><p>The same sources listed about a score of additional pronunciation puzzles:</p><p>Bandages are wound around wounds, for example.</p><p>Further: Farms produce produce. Overloaded municipal dumps must sometimes refuse more refuse. Polish citizens polish their shoes. Leaders can lead only if they “get the lead out ... ” A soldier, under fire, might desert his dessert in the desert.</p><p>There being “no time like the present,” he decided to present the present.</p><p>A fisherman band member had bass painted on the head of his bass drum. At the first shot, the dove dove into the bushes. She did not object to displaying the grotesque object. When he became an invalid, his insurance became invalid.</p><p>The word “row,” meaning fight or disturbance and rhyming with “cow,” is little used locally: There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. We are more familiar with the similar pronunciation change in “The archer put aside his bow to bow to the king.”</p><p>Close the door when the strangers get close. The buck does funny things when the does pass by. A flag sewer lost her scissors down the sewer grate. To speed planting, the innovative pig farmer taught his sow to sow.</p><p>Finally, the blustery wind began to wind the flag around the pole. The unfortunate tear in his favorite canvas caused the artist to shed a tear. Sometimes, we subject subjects to series of tests.</p><p>Meaning shifts: English reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.</p><p>Le Petit: Our reservations for “Nunset Boulevard” are next week, but I understand the community theater summer musical is all the fun we have come to expect from our “order” of singing, dancing pseudo nuns.</p><p>The play runs through July 28. Reservations and season tickets at 876-4278, online at Houmalittletheatre.com.</p><p>Responding? Contact Bill Ellzey at 381-6256, bill-ellzey@att.net, billellzey312@gmail.com or c/o The Courier, P.O. Box 2717, Houma, LA 70361.</p>