Archive for June 2013

The Nether Regions was there in the early days when the Louth Leader began wooing its Lincolnshire readership with a vast array of free gifts each week. Since then, the population of this utopian market town has inevitably mushroomed. Nothing sells quite like free goodies, and this means a copy of the Louth Leader is now stronger than the pound itself.

It began with snacks, but gradually the giveaways began to take care of every aspect of your existence. We had necklaces, we had bath bombs. What came next?

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A business dinner with ‘key members of a pharmaceutical company’ might not sound like a barrel of laughs, but you can always cling to the hope that the restaurant might serve you up a massive cock and balls.

WHEN staff at a Chinese restaurant served a saucy dish at an important business dinner, the reaction was decidedly sour.

Diners, including Sevenoaks resident Ashley Strong, were stunned at being presented with a giant carrot and seaweed dish resembling a man’s genitalia.

Now the owner of the eatery – Ming near Borough Green – has apologised after the prank backfired.

Key members of a pharmaceutical company were meeting their biggest client last Thursday night when they were presented with the bizarre starter.

Ms Strong, of Mill Pond Close, was one of the group of 11, but when they ordered eight set Peking meals from the menu to share, instead of a full 11, she claimed staff took offence and added the shocking centrepiece to their table.

Ms Strong, a director of the Larkfield firm, explained: “Most of the time in Chinese restaurants they do table decorations carved out of vegetables, like flowers, or ducks – something tasteful.

“But when our food arrived, we got something different.”

Ming staff had taken a large carrot, standing upright in the middle of a dish of mixed hors d’oeuvres, with seaweed arranged around it, to depict a man’s private parts.

“There was no question what it was meant to be,” Ms Strong.

“It had all the anatomy. We were absolutely shocked – it was so inappropriate.”

Embarrassed, the diners laughed awkwardly and proceeded to try to eat around the phallus.

“We didn’t say anything because we didn’t want to make a big fuss when we had our biggest client with us,” Ms Strong said.

Not to mention the ‘biggest client’ in the middle of the table, right lads!!!!?!

Whilst prepared to offer an apology of sorts to these po-faced pharmaceutical fucks, the restaurant boss pledges to continue serving up the goods. Hats off.

Ken Wong, manager of Ming Restaurant, denied that the decoration was in response to the table ordering for eight.

“We wanted to make them happy, I am sorry they were embarrassed.

“If they come back I will tell the chef not to do it again, though we will keep doing it for other parties, and special occasions like new year and Valentine’s Day.”

Ms Strong said she will never return to Ming after her firm’s embarrassing experience.