Tuesday, 16 August 2016

The A to Z of things you might not know about Miss K

Allergies - When you are admitted to hospital and you have allergies they give you a red band to highlight that you are a bit special. When ever anyone hospitally comes to talk to you, they ask you what your name, DOB and allergies are. No worries mate, well that is if you have normal allergies, most of mine are pretty common. Latex, Nickle, Lanolin, Nuts but then I have a really fucking stupid one that makes everyone go WHAT!! That's right folks, I am allergic to wood. Only 0.08% of the population is allergic to wood and I happened to find myself in that elite group. I always wanted to be exceptional, but this wasn't really what I had in mind.

Bs and Ds - nope, not talking about boobs, little known fact, when I was younger I was really bad at spelling. Like really bad, to the point where I had to write bed on the top of all my tests so that I wouldn't get my Bs and Ds mixed up. I don't know what happened by one day it just clicked and I kick arse in the language stakes now. (And if you must know, they are DD/E)

Clumsy - My ex always used to joke that he should wrap me up in Bubble Wrap to keep me safe because I am a bit accident prone and hurt myself in stupid ways, if something is going to happen its going to happen to me. I broke my knuckle by a swinging spanner, my nose with a socket wrench (I know about the release button now thank goodness) and just the other day when I was getting a massage the massage table tipped upside down while I was on it. Honestly you wouldn't read about half this stuff.

Depression - I am not to proud to say that I have suffered from it, and in pretty heavy bouts more than once. Its something that is always simmering under the surface and has the potential to tip the scales at the smallest thing. I have had crippling anxiety and there were times when I couldn't leave my house. Because of this I am a huge advocate for Mental Health. There is no shame in admitting that you need help and reaching out could save your life.

Excitement - I get excited about a lot of things, to the point where when I smile my eyes disappear. Fireworks and sunsets and dogs with fluffy tails and especially inflatable waving arm men, they are my most favourite. I like to see the silver lining in life, my mum always says that I was a happy child, I like to be a happy adult as well.

Frances - This is my middle name, when I was younger i was strangely embarrassed about it, but as I have grown up it not really an embarrassment. Its a name that was carried by family members before me and if I ever have kids, a name that I will likely pass on to them as well. Little traditions can give you a sort of belonging... or something.

Glasses - I have worn glasses since I was about 8 years old, I need them to see, Like legit, without them I can see about 20 cm in front of me. I was always really shy about wearing them out and having my photo taken because years of being teased as a child must have had a knock on effect to me being an adult. Really it is a stupid shyness to have though, the sexy librarian gets a lot of guys so I have heard. Also with them being more main stream and people wearing glasses just for the fun of it the taboo has lifted. Kissing whilst wearing glasses is still a pain in the arse though, all those nose smudges on the lenses, not that I do kissing these days, but if I did.... you get the picture

Horses - No Thanks Mate. Everyone has their irrational fear, and this is mine. When I was small a horse bolted with me on the back of it, and then over the years I have tried to give them other chances and they have always just turned out to be giant jerks. So if you are thinking of taking me on some romantic date, please, I beg you, take Horse Riding off the list.

Independent - I have always been this way, if you want something done, you are best to do it yourself. I lived alone for a long time, I know basic home repairs and can fix a car like no ones business. It has been going on so long that I forget how to let people in and that I don't need to do it all by myself. Its something that I have to work on, and I am trying.

Japan - I have been there a couple of times and it floored me. From the food to the friendly people to how beautiful and their architecture was, I fell in love. The Japanese culture has been a part of my life for a long time, so thank you Japan. You are awesome and you make amazing cars.

Kookaburra - one time when I was small and eating a piece of steak a Kookaburra swooped down and ripped my nose off. Well not entirely off but off enough to make me need a band aid. Funnily enough though, I am actually still really fond of birds (and steak, did some body say Steak?).

Love - You could say that I am unlucky in love and you would be right, but instead of making me bitter and hating the world it has done the opposite. I love love, I live for love and nothing makes me happier than seeing people that I love being loved. I am coming to the age where everyone I know is getting married and having kids and this explodes my heart for them because they deserve happiness and to feel all the love in the world. Keep loving each other people, you make my heart smile and I am excited about the one day when someone is going to love me that way as well.

Music - It is pretty much my everything. I have no musical talent but I don't like silence so I am all about other peoples music. Sometimes I cry when I watch people playing piano, this morning on the way to brunch I was listening to Neil Diamond and Kesha with a bit of Elvis thrown in for good measure and you bet your bottom dollar that I was singing to all of it at the top of my lungs!!!! I am bad at singing but I do it anyway, because YOLO.

Nike - I don't know if it was ever a conscious decision to start collecting shoes, it just kinda happened. I got my first pair and then found others that I liked and it grew and grew and grew. I became known for my shoes and on Casual Fridays I used to have people coming to my desk just to see what I was rocking. I have lined up for Shoes even.... jesus, who have I become. Well actually I haven't become anyone, I was always this way, just now this way comes with much cooler kicks

Opinionated - I always laugh at the Meme that says "Some things are better left unsaid, but I am going to say them anyway" and that kind of has become the unwitting moto for my life. I try hard to keep my onions to myself but when I feel passionate about something, it seems to spew forth from my mouth.

Perfume - Do you know how some people just had a smell? For me that smell is Ralph Lauren - Romance. I have worn it since I was 18 so I guess by now, 15 years later you could say that it is my signature fragrance. See, like I mentioned in L, I love love and everything around love. Ever fragrances of the same kind.

Quiet - I am this loud confident person in public but in private I love the quiet and the still. I am an introverted Extrovert and this means that my head wars with itself a lot. I need time away to get myself together before I can tackle the next bout of life.

Romance Novels - No Shame here, but I love me a bit of trashy romance. It gives me an unrealistic hope that one day someone will put up with my shit and say that they love me. That's a pretty exciting prospect and he a bit of unadulterated literary sex never hurt anyone

S - An S13 Silvia name Stella - she is my proudest achievement and also my biggest regret. I got her as a stock little thing and turned her in to the Diamond that she ended up being. Until the day that I die, I will regret selling her because the day that she left, I lost a tiny little bit of my heart

Trains - about 4 months ago I decided that I wanted to be a train driver, 3 months ago I became a trainee train driver. Toot Toot mother fuckers. This just goes to show that you can do what ever you put your mind to (and when your mind isn't in it, you can do what ever your friends believe that you can do. Thanks friends)

Underwear, its is a necessary evil but I bloody hate it. The minute that I am home it comes off, my skin needs to breath. But the flip side of that is that for someone that doesn't like underwear, I certainly have a whole heaps of it. I am easily fooled by the marketing that I will be more attractive if I wear Lingerie and it strangely works. I have this new theory that if I am wearing sexy underwear I do better in my exams. For every exam I have worn lovely little lace things and have scored 98% + and the day that I wore some boring old cotton tails I got 90%. There has to be some science to that I am sure.

Vulgar - I was tossing up between Vulgar and Vagina but then I realised that by mentioning my vagina that would actually be vulgarity. I have a potty mouth but I am trying to improve on that. Also cutting down on the sexual connotations, sure I still giggle but I am working on that as well

Wasley - That's who I am. A few years ago I went through a really rough break up and my sister posted a nice photo of us on my Facebook with the sentence saying "You will get through this because you are a Wasley and its what Wasleys do" and she is 100% right. I am a Wasley and I can get through anything. **

X-Rays - Tie this one in with being Clumsy I guess but I have had a truck load of XRays, on everything. My Feet (fractures in my toes), Hands (Broken knuckle and Boxers bone) My Hip (chips off the top of my hip bone from an ice skating stack) My Spine (crocked cause life) My Face (hair line fracture in my cheek bone) and probably more that are slipping my mind at the moment. I should have kept them all and then turned them in to Venetians for my Volvo Wagon that I want(ohhhhh that totally could have been my V word... shit. Next time). I think I read that in a book once and have wanted to do it every since

Youngest - I have an older sister, there is just the two of us. I have always been an emotional person, she used to get people coming up to her at school saying "your sister is crying AGAIN" and as much as she hated it, she probably felt like she should protect me and look after me. I really do appreciate that. Even if we used to (and sometimes still do) fight and hate each other.

Zoos - yeah it appears that I am scraping the bottom of the barrel to fund something for Z but I do like Zoos, true story. Seeing that horses and dates are out of the picture, I would be happy with a date to the Zoo to see other kinds of animals. Because animals are rad.

So there it, an alphabet of information that took you time to read that you wont get back, You're welcome

Love and Letters

Miss K

** When I was younger I got some pretty bad tattoos, I don't regret them because they were part of my tattooed journey but I can say that the pick and sticks weren't the best. Anyway I got this rad dragon tattooed on my lower back (as all 18 year old girls did back in the year 2001) and to add on to it, I got Wasley written next to it, except it looked more like it said Wasted and the wings of the Dragon spelt sex when you looked at it from the side and covered up its body.... so now all we can think of when we talk about my old tattoos is the Wasted Sex Dragon..... not very Wasley like, had a bit of wasted sex in my time, but sadly I have never been a Dragon