Monday, November 07, 2005

Tangled

I spent the weekend without Mark. Both nights I slept terribly. Waking up in the middle of the night, I felt unsettled and a bit sad. But those were my nights. My days on the otherhand were solid. Stacy, Karen and I ran the Race for the Cure on Sunday morning. It was their first race. I could feel the anticpation and nervousness as they asked lots of questions. How do I hold the chip in place? Where do I put my number? Will they call my name at the finish line? I loved it. I ran my fastest race that morning. An 8 1/2 minute pace. I came 27th in my age range. I did a little dance of joy when Karen told me. But the best part was waiting for Karen and Stacy to cross the finish line. Seeing their red, sweaty faces turning the corner and running hard and fast. I screamed their names and clapped as hard as I could. I remember the first time I crossed the finish line two years ago. I started to cry and almost throw up at the same time. It was a beautiful moment.

Sunday night Stacy, Lorie, Deena, Michael, Jim, Nevie and I watched the very, very close to picture lock version of JUMPING. I had my pen and notepad out, ready to scribble any remaining strange cuts or jarring moments. I sat there and watched the movie. About half way through I realized I hadn't picked up my pen. Not once. I had curled up on the couch like I would at home when I got tangled in a story. My head rested on Michael's couch and I grinned and grinned. I couldn't stop smiling. Even though I'd seen the movie, hmmm, maybe a million times in the past two months, I was with the characters, wondering what they'd do next. I almost forgot what happened. It felt so solid. So complete. The new scene we shot last weekend worked wonders. Brought out a lot more subtext.

At one point, I had a moment of, "I wrote this. I made this. It's up on a screen.". I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks as I remembered sitting at my desk years ago writing the words into Final Draft. And now hearing them ...

And I couldn't help but think about Aaron. Hoping that somehow, wherever he is, he's proud.