Thanks Betch

Some Real Life ‘Narcos’ Shit Went Down This Weekend In Mexico

So El Chapo is this insane Mexican drug lord who escaped from prison last year aka a more realistic version of 22 Jump Street. He dug a mile long tunnel from his prison cell to a house, because you can do shit like that in Mexico. I’ve seen enough episodes of ‘Law and Order’ to know that that probs wouldn’t happen at Rikers Island.

Anyway, the Mexican police recaptured him this weekend because Sean Penn helped them figure out where he was. I guess Shanghai Surprise was great preparation for fighting crime.

El Chapo wanted to make a movie about his life just like every friend group of 17 year old girls. So naturally he started talking to a rando Mexican actress who set up a meeting between him and Sean Penn. Apparently Sean takes time off from doing humanitarian work in Haiti and being Mr. Charlize Theron to write for Rolling Stone now. The interview gave the Mexican police a huge lead, which led them to where El Chapo was living.

So Sean Penn climbs from the depths of irrelevancy to get a drug lord imprisoned. I can’t wait for the Lifetime movie.