March 13, 2013|By MICHAEL WALSH, Special to the Courant, The Hartford Courant

Although Margaret Geyer spent the last five years of her life battling Alzheimer's disease, she never forgot the names of her sons.

"Bill, Jamie, Jeff," William Geyer said his mom would repeat often, as if it were her mantra.

Margaret Geyer, who died Feb. 10 at 85, didn't want to forget.

"She held onto those memories, with all that working against her," William Geyer, her oldest son, said. "It was so important."

She would write the names of her sons, grandchildren and other family members on photos in albums she kept in her room in an effort to remember.

"It's very sad to watch somebody go through dementia and lose themselves," her son James Geyer said. "The thing she never lost, even until the very end, was memories of her sons."

Margaret Geyer graduated with Phi Beta Kappa honors from the University of Rochester. Her three sons never expected a woman as sharp as their mom to forget so much.

"She always was proud of her memory and her ability to retain information," her youngest son Jeff Geyer said. "She was a very sharp lady. To lose as much as she lost but still retain that little bit was important to her."

In fact, the family's favorite inside joke revolved around her impressive college years.

Margaret Geyer, her sons said, would often proclaim that in college she once got a B instead of her usual straight A's. Her husband, Fred Geyer, would respond saying he once got a B as well, acknowledging the fact that he wasn't quite the student his wife was.

"I think he did better than that but he would play it up," James Geyer said about his father.

Margaret Geyer moved to Manchester in 1952 after marrying her husband a year earlier. While she never had a full-time career, Margaret Geyer spent a lot of time volunteering, serving on a variety of committees at Manchester Memorial Hospital. She also spent 25 years delivering food for the Meals on Wheels program.

Margaret and Fred Geyer, who died in 2006, spent 55 years together, a relationship all three of their sons continue to use as a life example.

"They enjoyed each other and did a lot together," James Geyer said. "They certainly had a good life."

"Growing up, we all ate meals together," William Geyer said. "That's something that I really try to maintain with all my kids because that's when you can communicate."

William Geyer described his mother as the family historian and "the rock" of the family.

Margaret Geyer even detailed her own life, writing her obituary years ago the same way her husband had done years before his death. The family published that exact obituary, more or less, after her death.

"It shows she was thorough and thoughtful and didn't want us to have to worry about that," James Geyer said.

After Fred Geyer retired in 1987, the couple had free time to spend together. James Geyer said they spent much of it traveling.

"They'd love to drive," James Geyer said. "They'd just get in the car and take off… to wherever they felt like going. My dad never liked to fly."

All three sons said it was difficult to see their mother robbed of her personality and memories in the final years of her life.

"Dementia is really an awful thing," William Geyer said. "It just robs you. It was so awful to watch her lose all that."

James Geyer remembers one specific moment of her mother's final days.

"A few days before she died she turned to me and asked if she was a good mom," James Geyer said.

The answer, from James to his mother, was yes.

"She was a great mother," James Geyer said.

Margaret Geyer is survived by her three sons and their wives, nine grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. She is predeceased by her husband and her parents, Frank and Rebecca Armstrong Steinbeck.