can somebody put my mind at ease,please! im soooo confused

Kat - posted on 02/15/2009
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i took my 28 month old son to the doctors last month due to his very poor sleeping, he only has about 5 hours a night! and was quite surprised when she asked about his speech! he doesnt speek he has about 7 unclear words that only i can understand he screams alot, but i just asumed he would talk when he is ready and everybody just told me im being silly and give his time. my sons behaviour is sooo bad he doesn't look at me when i talk to him he rarely responds when i call him, he wont let me play a game with him or read to him, he hits everything off the walls and punches the walls so bad for no reason that his little fist is bruised! i feel so alone as i realy feel something is wrong but my family just tell me to stop being silly, i have tried everything and have even had a hearing test done which came back fine, i have read about autism and it seems he is likely to have it? or is it just me, his dad has bad ADHD.i feel like such a bad parent because everybody thinks he is just bad behaved but i know the difference.please help somebody

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View replies by

Becky - posted on 02/23/2009

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Don't give up! Your intuition is usually correct. Keep having testing done for him. Everyone here has given excellent advice. Go to the local school district. REMEMBER! Get your request in writing! they can not ignore anything in writing. Give it to the principal of the home school in your district. Ask for help. Ask for doctors, ask for other parents of Autistic kids. Just keep asking! Good luck!

Reading your story sounds almost exactly like my story except my son was about a year old when we got the ball rolling on getting him evaluated. I wanted to mention that when I told the first person who evaluated my son, I mentioned about him not sleeping through the night, she told me to try getting a queen or king size comforter and folding it so that its more the size for the child to use as a comforter. The heaviness of the blanket might help them sleep as it could be comforting (the weight). At first I was concerned he could accidentally get smothered or something but it ended up being just like his own comforter. You could even tuck it in.

So to conclude, my son did get evaluated and ended up right away needing speech, developmental, and occupational therapy. All provided for free by the state (of Illinois) until he was not eligable for it because he turned 3 years old. Then he was enrolled in the new program through the public school (Early Intervention) and also had therapy there. He had so much early intervention, therapy, and I worked with him so much from the therapist suggestions on how to handle things. They say the earlier you catch something in the spectrum that you may be able to retrain and reform the brain. By kindergarten, my son was able to attend regular class and has no therapy and he is comepletely fine! This may not happen for everyone but its so worth it to follow the programs and get as much help as you can. Let me know if you have any questions on your jouney.

i took my 28 month old son to the doctors last month due to his very poor sleeping, he only has about 5 hours a night! and was quite surprised when she asked about his speech! he doesnt speek he has about 7 unclear words that only i can understand he screams alot, but i just asumed he would talk when he is ready and everybody just told me im being silly and give his time. my sons behaviour is sooo bad he doesn't look at me when i talk to him he rarely responds when i call him, he wont let me play a game with him or read to him, he hits everything off the walls and punches the walls so bad for no reason that his little fist is bruised! i feel so alone as i realy feel something is wrong but my family just tell me to stop being silly, i have tried everything and have even had a hearing test done which came back fine, i have read about autism and it seems he is likely to have it? or is it just me, his dad has bad ADHD.i feel like such a bad parent because everybody thinks he is just bad behaved but i know the difference.please help somebody

Hi kat, first of don't you ever think that you are a bad parent, i have a 20 year old son who has asperger's syndrome which is part of the autistic spectrum disorder it's a mild form of autism, they don't do eye to eye contact they have there own little world, also mine would never run up 2 me for a hug. I would demand that your child been seen by some one. Ignore what other people say like the rest of the readers you know your own son. I hope all goes ok and be patient as well, because it took me 5 years to get my son diagnoised, it wasn't until he had left high school that they finally got him diagnoised. I will keep looking to see if all ok.

i would get him eval asap.... it realy does sound just like my son at that age and he is in the spectrum. as for others telling you your silly.. dont listen you know your child best and if you suspect there is something wrong you need no other reason to get it checked out.

worst case senario with getting him evaled is nothing is wrong and he gets caught up on his own and all is fin

worrst case senario with not getting him evaled is there is something wrong and he has missout on a year of services that could benifit him greatly...

waiting lists are long.. and sometimes it can be a year or more befor offical diagnoses are made... get what ever help you can as soon as you can... the earlier they start theripys the better. and if you feel there is something wrong.. there probably is.. sometimes ppl dont want to see that there is something wrong, simply because it hard to accept. my sons stepfather is the one who told me point blank there was something wrong.. i knew his speach was delayed.. but i figured hed catch up.. he was taking way to many tantrums.. i figured he was a typical kid...

get the eval it wont hurt.... gl, wish you the best... and we are here to support you, weve been in your shoes :)

I agree with them all. You should get him evaluated. You are the only one to be able to be the advocate. I was told my son was PDD-NOS when he was 5 and it turns out that when I had him reevaluated at 7 that he is not PDD-NOS. He has severe dyslexia and a short-term memory disorder, but is now a successful fourth grader. He didn't speak until he was 3 and a half and exhibited anger much the same as you are describing. So the outcome may not be autism, though it does sound as if he is on the spectrum. Just be aware that there are other conditions and learning disabilities that can present themselves in much the same manor.

Poor you i know how you feel.been there myself .My daughter is now 18 ,like your son didnt really have hardly any speech no eye contact etc.As some of the other ladies have said mums i think always have a sense when something is not right with their child,And i agree that early diagnosis is very important. And writing down your concerns helps a lot as you can quite often forget things in these situations.Wish you luck kim

Good luck with your appointment kat. go prepared tho, spend a few hours writing down things that 'bother' you or you see that seem to set you child off on a rage spree. he does sound as if he might be on the autism spectrum to me, but it can take years to get a diagnosis as it is hard to tell sometimes until they are older and in school where things become very noticable as different. So even if you dont get diagnosis use some of the autism behavioural training ideas in your home, they certainly cant hurt and might jsut save you some stress.

they are all right! You are the only one who knows your child better than all these doctors! I have been dealing with my daughter she has ocd, adhd, seizures and I know pdd-nos. I am still having her evaluated and she is 11 years old. She is in 4th grade and is 1st grade level! Keep fighting you will win! Good LUCK!!!!

thanks for all your replies you wouldn't believe how comforting they have been as i have felt so alone about all this.my son has an appointment monday where he will be assesed by a panel of 6 experts, im actualy nervous!

hi Kat, you should definatly follow your instincts with this as mums do know their children the best. there is nothing worse than have people judge your child when they are being naughty. We have all been there!!!

we found that when we started getting her tested our family and friends said they thought there was something wrong but did not know how to tell us. But i knew things were not right and had to demand speech therapy first and that lead to being tested for Autism.

my daughter used to hit herself all the time in frustration and scream and paddy, it was all because she could not tell us what she wanted. So early intervention is the key. She is alot less frustrated now as we use pictures for everyday needs, drink, food, play out and tv (and many more).

we got involved with early intervention. they noted all his developmental delays and started giving him speech therapy and occupational therapy right away. we then took him to a developmental ped. where he was "officially" diagnosed pdd-nos. pervasive develpomental disorder- non specific. woo hoo. it's a form of autism. at 3 he entered a preschool disabilites program and he's 9 today and has come a long way. it's scary at first but you are your child's voice. you know him better than anyone else. take him. let them tell you what it is and be strong! everyone wants to deny there may be a problem but the earlier you get him the help he needs the better it will be in the long run.

I wouldn't hold any shame in your heart.....Get him tested!..Early intervention is the key to success!!!!! Things he doesn't do now; with the right therapys he will develope.. You will be giving him the biggest gift, trust me on that...Worse case senerio..He's Autist...It's not the end of the world...Atleast this way knowing;so many doors will open up for him and you..Your little boy will still be great little boy..He will be always special in more than one way!! Our jobs as mothers is to give our babys the best chances possible for a great future!! He too can have a wonderfull future; even with Autism..... I hope I have shedd some light for you.....Theresa

Its sounds like Autism but I am not a doctor. My daughter had most of these sympotms and we were told she had it at 18 months. I would see a specialist or ask a doctor to refer you to one. We even saw a neurologist (I hope I spelt this right). My family is the same as yours. My daughter is going to be 8 and we are not aloud to let her or her brother know she is austic and we dont do anything to support the cause. (I made the mistake of living with my parents all these years to help me out). He is your son and if you feel there is something wrong this just might be true. Did you ever hear "A mothers intuition". Well this is a fact. Go have your son looked at. Not having this taken care of may make him worse later on.

ADHD can be apart of autism. Depending where you live contact the school district. They should be able to give you information on how to have him education tested for autism even at his young age. Most large districts have a birth to 3 program. I believe he is angry due to not being able to get his message accross. Try sign language also. You can get some simple words off of the internet. Go to the American Sign Language site they have videos of how to for the sign. Another way is to try pictures. Show him picutres of what you want him to have or use. You can cut these out of magazine or print off the internet also. You are not a bad parent, but do not ignor the signs that something is wrong. Your gut is telling you to get help so go outside and get it. The family may want to not admit that something is wrong and he is not normal. This is totaly normal for a family to say. Be prepared for them to disagree, but go and get the help for him as soon as possible.