The Ultimate relationship!

Don’t be surprised, this is not about a man but about..my phone. I have seen a few YouTube videos about this and I wanted to put my own spin on my ultimate and only recurring relationship…

THE STAGES:

1) The first date – this is when you have chosen to commit every aspect of your life for 18 or 24 months. This is the time you get to know each other, you realise and are surprised by your phones new functions, camera, speed and quality. You are timid, shy and awkward.

2)The honeymoon period – you are with each other 24/7. You laugh, you cry, you share your deepest and most personal thoughts with each other. You listen to each other and get on like a house on fire. Your phone is dependable, surprises you with new functions, keeps you on your toes.

3) Those hump days – you clearly love each other but sometimes your phone just does not listen, ignores your requests, forgets to do something you needed or embarrasses you.

4) The hump days turn into daily habits – you still have a deep love for your phone. It still has it looks, performs most of the time but every day it does something you do not like or irritates you! Why does it need to freeze, switch off, drop your calls? You start to question your compatibility…Maybe another model will satisfy your needs?

5) The break up – now this can be for two reasons: 1) you find something else; better looking, better specifications, smaller, cheaper, snazzier, basically you have found something else or 2) your phone dumps you! It breaks down and leaves you stranded with no warning. No apps, no contacts, pictures, no reason or warning. (The latter happened me to!)

6) Anger, Frustration and Confusion – Why did they do this? Why now? What did I do wrong? Was it not charged enough, not updated enough? How can one cope without it? No ability to contact people you want to! Why did it not tell me to back it up? No whatsap, no twitter, no email on hand, no instagram perving! Why!!!

7) Withdrawal symptoms – You hear its voice everywhere you go, you feel its silent call in your bag. You remember you need to check something but remember it is not there anymore! You miss it’s elegant, bright and good looking screen and forget all the bad times.

8) Rebound – this has two outcomes; 1) bigger and better choice than your phone. You have been waiting to try this new phone and cannot wait to start the new relationship or 2) a temporary, old, ugly phone that was unwillingly given to you while you wait to see if your old phone will ever come back to you. It does not compare to your phone, it doesn’t even have a volume button or the ability to be a on a vibrate setting. The Shame!…. (I am currently waiting…)

I am currently dying without my lovely smart phone, fingers crossed it gets fixed soon because the old Nokia I was given is…bad! 😦 Argh!!!!!