To me it's rather remarkable how a lunatic Latin biter and an Italian can manage to end something so quickly and easily, whereas Gammas will do practically anything rather than simply admit that they are wrong, apologize, and move on. They tend to prefer clinging to their delusions and digging the hole ever deeper.

But notice that while Chiellini was quick to accept Suarez's apology in an admirably gracious manner, he did not do so until the Uruguayan striker admitted what he had done and apologized. Indeed, before then, he openly mocked Suarez. That, too, is Alpha behavior.

If you struggle with either giving or accepting apologies, keep this interaction in mind.

18 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Is this not simply typical mens' behavior? In my circle, it's quite common for men to apologize and have it accepted and (truly) forgotten. While the women I know and work with...wow. They can let things fester for years, even after a pathetic outpouring of over-emotional crying and apologizing.

It really is eye opening. Except to women. All the time you see men who played sports at the highest level joking around, even friends with guys who 10-20 years ago did something horrible to them/each other. IT happened in the heat of the moment or we allow that people grow and change after making mistakes. So it's almost funny to them years later while sharing a beer.

Women can't get over slights in the office from 25 years ago. Shame really.

Some of the coolest people I know and respect are people who have literally punched me in the mouth or forgiven me for doing something stupid.

"Is the Alpha response always to accept the apology? What in cases were the apology doesn't seem sincere or inadequate to the kind of offense been done?" depends on how tough he is. I know I would be tempted to punch an insincere apologist in the face, or the social equivalent, then you gauge whether you could survive the encounter, if no hold back and accept being a Beta good naturedly, if yes proceed. But generally if it's a sarcastic apology for a real offense the other guy is hardcore gamma.

You noticed this a lot in Pride and in UFC now to an extent. The guys talk a lot of trash before the fight as gamesmanship, but they respect each other enough to bury the hatchet when its over with no hard feelings. Its also evident in how they can brutally injury one another with any number of joint locks but try not to (at least not permanently). For example Sakuraba vs Renzo Gracie: Saku seemed more concerned than anyone once he realized Renzos arm was bent 25 degrees the wrong way.

Yeah, offered, accepted, given, fine. But if some biter ever came near me again, and even looked crosswise, I'd bust his teeth out. Every soccer player should keep that in mind. It's how me and mine train the weak of mind. And it works out splendidly.

An apology sincerely given is sincerely forgiven. This doesn't happen much in real life. I don't play act alpha anyways. I don't intentional bite people too. Such behavior would invite quick retaliation. I regard an email apology to be a low priority to the degree of the offense. Please call. I'll accept apology then.

I didn't see any mention of biting within the apology. I always think it's important to specify what you are sorry over. That way you are sincere and there is no confusion over what is being discussed.

Some of the coolest people I know and respect are people who have literally punched me in the mouth or forgiven me for doing something stupid. That's the major reason I think the Zero Tolerance on playground fights is counter productive in the development of men. Fat lips, bloody noses and black eyes heal, but the respect and understanding last a lifetime.

Thanks, Bill. And thanks too, Markku, I did had that idea that such an expression was less than sincere but your translation is pretty much spot-on. I suppose if the apology is less than adequate then forgiving (as a Christian) the person would involve if he was truly sincere and whether he's capable or not of making amends.

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