Countdown to preschool

Preparation and planning, plus plenty of TLC, will help ease your child's transition from at-home toddler to preschooler.

Three weeks before school

Visit the school. Starting preschool means more than just new faces and new routines – it also means spending the better part of the day at a new (and possibly scary) place. Ease the transition by visiting the preschool together now. If the school has a summer session, stop by when the kids are there – that way, your child will see other children having fun and may even play with a future friend. Also give her a tour of her classroom, pointing out the cubbies where she'll keep her things, the spot where she'll eat her lunch or snack, and the bathroom or diaper-changing area. If the school isn't open but the playground is, bring a picnic lunch and eat it there.

Read books about school together. A great way to ease preschool jitters is to read a book about going to school. Some books worth checking out include Amanda Pig, Schoolgirl by JeanVan Leeuwen, Franklin Goes to School by Paulette Bourgeois, and Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes. These not only show how other kids have overcome school worries, they also give your child a chance to talk about her own fears. At this point, keep your discussions about school pretty general; you don't want to overwhelm your child with a lot of details that may worry her even more. Let her set the pace and the agenda – respond to her questions rather than giving her a lot of information she may not want or be ready to absorb.

Plan playdates. Ask the preschool's director for a class list (or at least a few names and numbers), and arrange a couple of playdates so your soon-to-be preschooler can get to know her new classmates. Some preschools sponsor picnics or potlucks for incoming students and their parents; if yours doesn't, consider organizing your own potluck or pizza party on the school playground (with permission) or at a nearby park.

Two weeks before school

Take a clothing inventory. Before the final rush to get everything ready for the new school year, check your child's wardrobe to see what still fits, what works for school, and which new fall clothes she'll need. When you have a detailed list, take her shopping so she can pick out one or two special pieces of clothing, a few new hair clips or socks, and, of course, some new school shoes or sneakers. Sometimes new things act as talismans – good-luck charms that help a child get through something foreign and scary, like the first day of school.

Write a letter to the teacher. If you know who your child's preschool teacher will be, consider writing her a letter together. Your child can introduce herself, tell the teacher about some of her favorite activities and books, and perhaps include details about what she did this summer. Writing a letter is also a great way to tell the teacher your child's nickname, if she has one; then the teacher can put that name on your child's cubby to help her feel at home. Ask your child if she wants to add some personal artwork to the letter, and encourage her to sign her name if she can.

One week before school

Get organized. Clean out and organize your child's closet and dresser drawers so she can easily see her school clothing options. Even if she's not yet dressing herself, encourage her to participate in choosing what she'll wear to school by having her help you organize her drawers and closet.

Buy back-to-school gear. Now's the time to fill in school-gear gaps — including a backpack, lunchbox, and miscellaneous school supplies. Check out her choices before you plunk down your cash – after all, you're the one who'll be packing her lunchbox and backpack every morning. You need to know that the lunchbox latch is easy for her to open, for instance, and that the backpack zipper won't snag every time she closes it. While you're at it, let your preschooler pick out some pencils, drawing pads, and art supplies to help her get into the school spirit.

Talk about what to expect. You've probably already talked about all the fun things your child will do in preschool, and you may even have visited her classroom. Now's the time to go over the school routine in as much detail as you can. Give her an idea of the daily schedule, and talk to her about what will be new and what may be familiar from her previous routine at home, daycare, or the last year at preschool (such as naptime, story time, and free play).

Ease into the school-year schedule. If your child has never had to be somewhere first thing in the morning, she'll need help adjusting to her new schedule. Though it's still light out until fairly late, start school-year rules now: dinner at 6 p.m., bath at 7, reading time, then lights out at 8 (or whatever bedtime you decide on). If she's been outside riding her trike until dusk every night this summer, change her schedule gradually, making each activity (dinner, bath, bedtime) 20 or 30 minutes earlier each day, until she's used to the new evening routine.

Begin the morning routine. When the first day of school arrives, it'll be a lot easier if everyone knows the morning drill. Together with your child, make a list of what she needs to do to get to preschool on time: brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, eat breakfast, put on shoes, and so on. Create a colorful picture-list depicting the morning routine, either by drawing pictures together or by cutting out magazine photos illustrating the various activities, and put it up in your child's room so she can refer to it each morning.

Meet the teacher. Since preschool teachers are busy now preparing their classrooms and getting ready for the school year, it's a great time to stop by the school again to say hello. Many preschools have a "back-to-school" night shortly before the fall session starts. If your child's doesn't, call the director to arrange a private visit. As a bonus, her classroom will be shaping up and it won't look as empty and impersonal as it might have when you visited before. While your child is exploring, you can quietly discuss with the teacher any special concerns you have – if your child is shy, for instance, or has any special needs. Also let the teacher know about friends your child may already have in class, so she's sure to pair them up during those first awkward days.

Rehearse the route. Practice the route your child will take to school, either by walking it together or driving. Show your child how she'll enter the building and (if you won't be walking her in yourself) exactly how to find her room, reminding her that people will be there to help her every step of the way.

The night before school

Practice your goodbyes. Talk to your child about what the two of you will say and do when it's time to bid farewell. Use any special code words or actions that you have, agree on the number of kisses and hugs that will be required, and even decide whether you should say, "See you later" or "I have to go now." Giving your child the job of pushing you out of the room literally puts control of the parting in her hands. Then, when the time comes, make your goodbye short, sweet, and casual. If you want the option of sticking around during the first few days of school, check with the teacher before you make any promises. If it's okay with her, then you have the tougher decision of whether to exercise this option. For some preschoolers, having a parent nearby provides the security they need to get into the swing of things. But for others, Mommy or Daddy's extended presence only postpones the inevitable pain of saying goodbye, and it can send a message you don't want to send: Being at school without us is scary, and we're not sure you can handle it. Having a plan for this momentous parting will by no means guarantee a breezy goodbye, but it may help make it easier for both of you.

Choose first-day clothes. Lay out your child's chosen outfit (try to stay out of the choosing process), with maybe a cool- and a warm-weather option, since September weather can be iffy. In fact, getting your child into the laying-out-clothes habit helps eliminate a decision and a fair amount of angst during the morning rush hour. This way, if her favorite jeans aren't clean, you'll know at 7 p.m. instead of 7 a.m.

Pre-pack the backpack. Together with your child, pre-pack as much as possible to ease the morning frenzy. If she'll bring a lunch, make it now and store it in the fridge. As a surprise, sneak in a special object, a family photo, or a love note to tell your child you're thinking about her. Also consider a special treat. It may not be at the top of the healthy list – but if there's any day to relax the rules, this is it (be sure to check the preschool's food policy first, since many discourage sugary and fatty snacks).

Give a gift. Consider giving your child a token that symbolizes the specialness of starting school. It could be a new book, inscribed with the date and the name of the school or class she's entering, a locket with family pictures, or even something as utilitarian as an alarm clock to help her adjust to her new schedule.

The big day

Take the day off. If you can swing it, take the day off work (or arrange to go in late and leave early). This way you can spend a little extra time at drop-off, be there for dismissal time (even if your child will normally stay in after-care or go home with a babysitter), and perhaps even treat her to a celebratory milkshake to mark the day. Eliminating your own morning and after-work crunch will make it easier to help your child through hers, and she'll get the message that this is, indeed, a special day.

Hold the cornflakes. There will be plenty of rushed cold-cereal and instant-oatmeal breakfasts during the course of the school year. Today, get up early and make a special morning meal, like pancakes in the shape of a school bus or your child's all-time favorite breakfast food. Take the time to eat together as a family, too, so you can discuss the exciting day ahead.

Take a first-day photo. Don't forget to snap a shot of your child with her first-day-of-school outfit and backpack on, to document this important milestone. Some families have their child hold a sign with the date or grade each year. Others shoot the picture in the same spot year after year (in front of a tree, for example) to emphasize how much their child has grown.

Allow for crying time. After your child is safely deposited at school, then, and only then, can you let those bittersweet tears flow. You are now the parent of a preschooler, and it's natural to have mixed feelings about that. Just don't cry in front of your child – after all, it's hard enough being a kid without having to worry about your parents, too.

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