Faith No More

I don’t know if you’ll be able to handle this news, but country singer Faith Hill will be leaving her job of “waiting all day for Sunday night” in the Sunday Night Football intro after 8 years of service. It’s okay if you “cry a little.”

Welcome to Obama’s America, I guess. What’s next, Cleatus the Football Robot leaving FOX Sports to pursue his dream of being a baseball robot? Come on.

Never forget:

Adam Rank … uh, ranked his top choices for Faith’s replacement, but he’s forgetting one important thing: WILL.I.AM. Will.I.Am has a google alert set up for “chance to appeal to middle America with the most boring possible house music,” so if he doesn’t sweep in and do something horrible I’ll be shocked.

Thank you for your service, and for your shimmery dresses and jumpsuits, Faith. No one will be able to fill your shoes, unless they can get one of the 10 identical blonde female country stars to sign on. Carrie Underwood on line one.