The Real BKOB Report: Week 4 Edition

GOOD MORNING SKA USERS. IT’S TUESDAY AND THAT MEANS IT’S TIME TO ARM YOURSELVES… WITH KNOWLEDGE!!!

What? We’re past Week 4 already?! I have to start writing articles again? Where does the time go?

It seems like just three weeks ago the 49ers were undefeated, the Rams hadn’t scored a point, and the Cardinal fans were supremely confident in their team – having nearly beaten The Patriots’ backups in their home opener.

And people wonder why I wait until Week 4 before I start writing articles.

The Real BKOB Report has always been about the Big Picture. And Week 4 is when we finally have a bountiful sample size from which to harvest our juicy Knowledge Nuggets. We can finally start making accurate judgments about one anothers’ teams. And I’m happy to provide you with all of the charts and tables you could possibly need to own your friends and co-workers.

I’ve been up all night crunching numbers and freebasing Nanobubbles, and I’ve got more Knowledge than I know what to do with!! So let’s get to the STATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What’s Changed? After reviewing the Stats, it is clear that the NFCW is divided into the “Haves” (SEA), the “Have-Nots” (SF, AZ), and the Rams (LA). As always, it is only a matter of time before the Division Standings reflect this natural hierarchy. The Stats don’t lie, people!! I’d bet my Golden Boner on it. Award.

Fraudulent Bruce Arians and his pitiful pack of perennial postseason pushovers are looking even crappier than I expected. And the 49ers? I’m beginning to wonder if their Front Office has been getting their Knowledge from unapproved sources, like Turn Rae or Adusoron. If they read MY Knowledge Tables, they’d know that they need to replace all of their players, right away!

My Analysis: “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” That saying never made sense to me. I mean, if things are changing, then obviously they aren’t gunna… you know what? Never mind. I could go into a whole thing about this, but instead I just want to talk about the Seahawks Defense.

Pete Carroll’s brilliant Defense has been so incredibly consistent over the years, I basically take it for granted. When the opposing Quarterback turns and hands it off, I expect the Running Back to go nowhere. When a Wide Receiver catches a dink-and-dunk underneath route, I expect Jeremy Lane or Kam Chancellor to run up and smash them to the ground before they reach the First Down marker. It’s almost weird when they don’t.

When All-Pro Cornerback RIchard Sherman plays run-stopper and tackles a 230lb Running Back at the line of scrimmage, I don’t give it a second thought. He’s been doing that for years. And that’s the beauty of it all! The BKOB Report is all about the Big Picture. And in the grand scheme of things, watching this amazing Defensive Unit year-after-year has been one of the great pleasures of my life as a Sports Fan. As long as Pete Carroll and John Schneider are calling the shots, this team will continue to make history every time they step on the field.

And the Offense isn’t too shabby, either. In fact, Seattle leads the NFCW in 8 of the 16 categories that are officially sanctioned by The Real BKOB Report, including having the Top Ranked Quarterback yet again. A perfectly well-rounded team, and one poised to dominate the division for years to come.

It is by some clerical error that Seattle is mistakenly ranked at 2nd place in the Division. I have decided to launch a Petition to get the NFL to change its tie-breaker system. I’ll keep the Knowledge Seekers updated on our progress.

And now, how about your feedback? I pride myself on non-biased, impartial Sports Journalism. I think I nailed it this time. Feel free to tell me how great I am in the comments section below.

Heard a stat that the Rams rank 32nd in yards per play on offense.. Dude was basically saying that there’s no way the team can continue to win over the long haul ranking dead last in yards per play.. Obviously, the defense is playing quite well..

So I assumed that I would vote for a 3rd party candidate, but they are both either pudding brained or crazy. Might have to vote for Hillary. Jesus. Protest vote against the party I used to be a member of.

The Rams are Seattle’s little brother. It looks like we should be able to knock the shit out of them, but they are always putting tacs on our chairs and buckets of water on top of our slightly ajar doors.

I assume everyone has already read the article a few times, but this part was my favorite: “Fraudulent Bruce Arians and his pitiful pack of perennial postseason pushovers are looking even crappier than I expected. And the 49ers? I’m beginning to wonder if their Front Office has been getting their Knowledge from unapproved sources, like Turn Rae or Adusoron. If they read MY Knowledge Tables, they’d know that they need to replace all of their players, right away!”

I don’t do good because it makes me feel good or because I want to do good. Instead it’s completely opposite. I don’t do evil only because selfishly it would make me feel bad. The only thing restraining me from satisfying all of my evil desires is the inconvenience of how I would feel bad after I ruined your life, it has nothing to do with me caring about you. I have such a wicked heart, it’s real dark in there.

Ok, thank you all for coming to the very first official SKA debate. Today our guests will be Keal and Brew. My first question is for Keal.

Keal, it is largely accepted fact that when you were 6 years old you went into the back yard and in an attempt to see what pee looks like when it comes out of your penis you bent over and ended up peeing all over your face and in your eyes. How did this experience shape you?

What God seems to hate the most is people that claim to be Christians that are lukewarm. The ones that go to church on Sunday but Monday-Saturday live however they want. He says that he will vomit them out of His mouth.

5/7 Defensive categories are Yellow, and they’re the only team with no Red Marks. And their gimpy QB is ranked highest – despite having no help from the run game, a poor OL and only overrated/overpriced Baldwin and Graham to throw to

“After reviewing the Stats, it is clear that the NFCW is divided into the “Haves” (SEA), the “Have-Nots” (SF, AZ), and the Rams (LA). As always, it is only a matter of time before the Division Standings reflect this natural hierarchy. The Stats don’t lie, people!! I’d bet my Golden Boner on it. Award.”

Tump’s complaints over Ford moving small car production to Mexico forced Ford into announcing the existence of the Bronco a little earlier than planned. Small car production in Michigan was ceased so that the plant can be re-tooled to produce the new Bronco and Ranger, with a net US job loss of zero.

I don’t despise him at all. He’s a great QB but I devalue him more than others simply because of Belichick and what he’s done without him. Saying he isn’t the obvious GOAT isn’t the same thing as saying he sucks, but this is SKA, so I accept the interpretation.

Fly any ship Fix any ship use the force with no training use the lightsaber with no training when they rescue her, she ends up rescuing them punks kylo ren in mind battle, even though she don’t even know what that is or how it works

I think most players are guilty of it to an extent. Unfortunately you need to roll around on the ground sometimes to remind people how “tough” you are. But I notice when collarbones get broken and get verified as broken, this seems to go away.

The problem with pineapple’s ridiculous, idiotic, self loathing, conceived by molester wannabees theory is that RW takes a ton of shots and always hops up with a robotic face…., unlike Aaron Rodgers who pouts like a sorority girl that took an unwanted facial every time someone touches him.

The Philippine guy talks a lot about Obama. I guess he’s pretending like there is some kind of relationship that matters between the US and the Philippines so that he can do a David vs Goliath thing and rally his people. Worked well for Venezuela.

I don’t want obese people to just go away, though. I always enjoying hearing about how little they eat, and how their metabolism is fucked up. I understand how calories work, MFA. Stop trying to fool me with your scientific mumbo jumbo.

FreeTodd Blim Blebow aka MB3 do you do all your shopping at once? all in one place? yeah i’m sure you see people on a crowded bus with a bunch of fucking grocery bags. get real todd, the issue is you think that being able to use it at a mini mart means “cigarettes and beer” both you can get any grocery store. your point is dumb and your explanations of it are dumber

Keal, everything stopped working on internet explorer. I had to change to firefox to read comments. I blame my IT department, but just a heads up just in case. Luckily I could still read the article, though.

hawaiianhonky Village ɱȁˠȠεƦƉ Because you can’t respect any 49er player because you don’t like the fans and are a little bitch when it comes to one getting a very serious season ending injury. Difference between you and most here, we DONT want to see injuries happen.

You dumbasses act like a Seahawk fan ran onehe field and broke his knee with a sledge hammer. You’ve been crying for three years about a handful of popcorn that didn’t even hit him. Stop looking for ways to feel superior to us, it’s pathetic

Burns ended the interview by comparing Trump to Winston Churchill, the celebrated British prime minister who led his country through World War II. “He’s really the Winston Churchill of today because we are literally at war,” Burns said. “We’re at war externally, against ISIS, and then we’re having a major racial division within our own country.”

J-Block bry_paz Man. I was at every game and I watched every away game for the last 10 years. Browning started slow. He was great down the stretch, but he struggled early as a true frosh. The team is beter around him, but he is also wayyyyyyyyy better now than this time last year

BREAKING NEWS!!! Jed York has just fired Chip Kelly and signed OSS to a 5 year contract to coach the San Francisco 49ers and will be paid higher than any coach the last 2 years of his contract!!! Ps- Smart owner inked that many years on purpose!!!