Let's face it, severe disability is not going to be everyone's first choice of lifestyle, but if that's what you're stuck with then there has to be a funny side. Join me on the ups, downs and sheer bizarreness of life in a wheelchair, a family, and a society determined to make things difficult. Guaranteed to make you smile (and groan). A good read.

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Birthday Boy and Quiz Night

Saturday was Sam's sixth birthday. We have been counting down to the day for months. It is beyond my abilities as a writer to communicate just how vibratingly excited my second born has been in anticipation of the day. His maths has improved no end as he's mastered subtraction and the day has been built up in his mind to a day of birthday perfection. No pressure then. At six o'clock am precisely our bedroom door flew open and our newly minted six-year-old burst in followed seconds later by a slightly blurry-eyed older brother.

Amidst the mass of wrapping paper covered presents was a blue camera from his great aunt Megan. From then on it was like being in bed with a Paparazzi, a blinding flash going off time and time again. Fortunately he was eventually distracted by a game for the Wii which required a retreat to the living room, although every step of the way was photographed and recorded for prosperity. All the time he was clutching a yellow furry thing called a Puffle which Matty had given him.

Later that morning we found ourselves at Kidspace in Croyden, one of those indoor maze of climbing, rope, plastic and tunnels in garish colours that children vanish into to scream and chase and perform death-defying slides in foam encased safety. Eight of Sam's friends, plus Matty were in attendance for this much anticipated party. We had booked the party months ago and all we had to do was turn up with some children and a cake. The cake, Sam had specified, was to be in the form of a caterpillar with each segment a different colour and with each child's name written upon it. The staff at Kidspace were taking care of the rest, including the food, in the exclusive birthday party orientated Orange Pod. You will be unsurprised to know that I managed to find a table and a cup of coffee to retreat to.

That evening we left the happily exhausted birthday boy in the loving care of Pam, his grandmother, and attended a quiz night at the school. As previously mentioned in these pages, I love quizzes and become insufferably competitive when partaking in one. For years I have competed in the school quiz and for years my team has come second. This year, unlike last, I was not suffering Oxygen deprivation and a lifetime of accumulated trivia came to the fore. Yes I knew what Dane Godtfred Kirk Christiansen gave the world in 1958. Where was the Magna Carta signed? Easy. Ha! Who was Queen Elizabeth II first prime-minister? Ask me something challenging. The chemical symbol for Potassium? Okay. Fortunately I was a member of a team who knew such things. They also knew such useful things as the number of dominoes in a set. By the time of the final round, general knowledge, it was neck and neck Which superhero's secret identity is Steve Rogers? If my facial muscles were capable of it a huge grin would has spread across my overly smug face. We had that round nailed.

The final scores were totalled up and we, by the massive margin of 1 point, had snatched victory. At last my awesome talent had been recognised. As Polly and I wandered home, our victory bottles of wine clinking together, we considered that, all in all, it had been a pretty good day.

About Me

I'm a wheelchair bound father of two who stoically and uncomplainingly endures a rare form of the muscle wasting disease Muscular Dystrophy. I've written a series of comedy sketch books and bits and pieces for TV. I've written for and run a small touring theatre company and once accidently co-wrote a number one hit single. The last year has seen a marked deterioration in my condition and so as a means of inspiring those who come after me I'm committing my thoughts to the world wide web.