Crazy medical patent describes centrifuge gadget to spin the baby right out of a pregnant woman

This site may earn affiliate commissions from the links on this page. Terms of use.

Just because you can get a patent for something doesn’t mean it’s a good — or even workable — idea, and consequently, the files of the United States Patent Office are stuffed to the gills with crazy patent forms for every nutty invention under the sun, including several thousand perpetual motion machines.

With so many nuts filing so many erroneous patents, it was only a matter of time before some madman decided to turn his insane acumen to one of the messier problems of life: child birth. Isn’t there some way to make it easier on both the mother and the baby?

That’s a good question. In fact, it’s the very prompted George and Charlotte Blonsky to fashion this amazing device back in 1965.

Called the “Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child By Centrifugal Force,” the patent describes exactly what it says on the tin: it is a method to make child birth easier for a woman by strapping her to a centrifuge and spin her around at one hundred rotations per minute until the baby literally goes flying around the room.