I must say Ellie is absolutely darling. Especially her younger self. You characterized her extremely well. She made my heart swell with her preciousness. I adore the now seventeen year old Ellie just as much. As far as characterization goes, you've nailed it. You've given the reader the perfect amount of information about Ellie and her family without making it overwhelming. She has a wonderful sense of humor.

You have amazing writing form. It flows so smoothly and it's fun to read. The banter between characters and the overall dialogue is perfect. Your concern on the background story and details is unneeded. In all honesty I think it's pretty close to perfect. Her background story was explained thoroughly without being too 'in-your-face'. I didn't feel like you were throwing anything at me. All the information was easily woven into the rest of the story.

Your details are just the same! You have a beautiful writing style that allows readers to clearly picture what you're trying to paint for them. It's almost like watching a movie; we can see exactly what you want us to. Through the details and characterization I feel like I know the characters personally, like I've met them. I think you have a wonderful start to the story (the plot line is extremely intriguing!) Absolutely lovely, lovely!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Oh, my goodness! That was quick!

*blushes* Thank you so much! I really struggle with description so this means so much to me. I'm an avid movie-goer, so if tis plays like a film - OMG! You're so wonderful!