Why do I keep doing that $#*! that I hate myself for doing?

So we all have our own types of opt-out behaviours. Sometimes we use some more than others. Some examples are, having great plans to go home and have a healthy meal and play a game of cards. When you get home you end up ordering pizza and watching The Real Housewives.. of whatever city they are in now.

We can punish that whole bottle of wine even though we promised ourselves only one glass because it’s a Wednesday and I don’t want to wake up hungover again. Once I have that first glass I say, “Well… what’s the harm of having one more.. and one more.. and there’s only a little left in the bottle so I might as well finish it.”

Another opt-out can be spending money mindlessly on stupid $#*!. Things like online shopping or being too lazy to make yourself coffee at home so you’re always picking one up on the way to work. Then down the road when your friends are planning to go on a weekend vacation somewhere you can’t afford it because you’ve wasted your money on these things. The clothes have probably already fallen apart because they are from some cheap online store.

Another one can be promising yourself that you will only buy healthy snacks at the grocery store but once you get there you are hungry and end up grabbing junk food and eating half of it on the way home.

Another one could be smoking weed in the garage after your kids have gone to bed because you just need to relax.

Social media is a gigantic black hole for time as well in terms of opt-out behaviours.

We often come in needing help or strategies for getting rid of these behaviours. We need to start eating healthy, stop drinking too much, stop watching so much frickin’ reality TV..

The thing is these behaviours aren’t really the problem those are just the opt-out behaviours that we use to escape from the feelings that we don’t want to have. So whether it’s sad or lonely, angry, disappointed, anxious or even things like being just hungry or bored. We don’t want to feel those things so we end up using the behaviours as a feedback loop to escape from those initial feelings.

When we say, I want to stop smoking and neglect the underlying cause then another behaviour like over-eating may pop up like a game of “whack-a-mole” to fill that emotional vacuum to help you cope.

What is going on in your life that is making you need to escape. Do you have space in your life for satisfiers? Those things that you do for fun. Do you have hobbies? Is it just safer to flop down on the couch because that is what you’re used to doing?

Shift Deals

I think what I like most about Shift is how personable and understanding the psychologists are. You are a person, not just a diagnosis to be solved. They help you and your support network understand what and why your brain is doing whatever it is and create a safe place to build you back up. They are warm and caring. They don't get annoyed if you miss or need to reschedule an appointent and having the ability to have call in sessions is great for hectic days. The receptionists are so cool and efficient. If I need to reschedule, I'll usually get a confirmation email before I've hung up. I'm incredibly grateful for Shift and their up to date, normalizing take on psychology.read more

Juhl Vautour

23:56 26 Sep 18

Very fun, youthful and inviting place. I did ask about sliding scale though a couple of times and it was never arranged. Still a very helpful experience though overall! Liked that they offered evening sessions.read more

Kari Green

01:06 25 Sep 18

I have engaged various modalities over the years to deal with my limiting beliefs and beliefs that do not serve me. The work I did with Andrea at Shift was impactful and most importantly: it stuck for the long term.read more

Stan Galbraith

21:06 05 Jul 18

I’ve been to psychologists before but I never really felt like I got anywhere or like there was point. I started seeing Olga in early February and have been fully committed to continuing my sessions with her since. The way each session progresses you know and can see that she devises a plan. I now see the value in seeing a psychologist and am so excited to continue on this journey ! Thank you.read more

Read about how we use cookies from third-party services and how you can control them by clicking "Privacy Preferences".

Privacy Preference Center

Privacy Preferences

Cookies are data, stored in small text files on your computer as you browse the web. In and of themselves, cookies are harmless bits of text that are locally stored and can easily be viewed and deleted. Cookies allow the Website to “remember” your actions or preferences over a period of time.

Cookies used by us do not contain any personal information nor do they contain account or password information. They merely allow the site to recognize that a page request comes from someone who has already logged on.