Donald Trump Reminds Us: Black People Not Allowed In Park

Hey, there is a really big national story going down right now — you know what that means! It’s time for the snide, slithering publicity slug that is Donald J. Trump to attempt to expand his shit-stain of public influence by gurgling up trite, inaccurate pond-spooge and passing it off as legitimate social commentary.

This time around, Trump’s using legless marathon runners to expand his slime-bubble of influence, by tweeting brave stances such as, “NO MERCY TO TERRORISTS you dumb bastards!” and “I hate when the news media, so afraid to offend anyone, always refers to the BOSTON KILLER as ‘the suspect’,” because the gentleman who has actually whined that libel laws set an unfairly high bar for him to win lawsuits does not believe people other than Donald Trump should get to benefit from them.

Anyway, the guy’s a fucking racist.

Amidst tweets about how he’s a “very compassionate person (with a very high IQ)” and watching Celebrity Apprentice, Saint Mensa Of Gameshow also had time to weigh in on a different case that enflamed his glands with gallons of white privilege-flavored lymph: The Central Park Five.

For those of you who do not remember/were not alive for the Central Park Jogger case, it happened in April of 1989 (yes, 24 years ago), and was named for a woman who was found brutally raped and beaten in the park. Five black teens were questioned — the oldest was 16. Two were 15, two were 14. After as many as 28 hours of interrogation, much of it without lawyers present, they all issued conflicting confessions that were all later recanted. All five were convicted anyway.

During all of this, Trump was so angered, and so positive the guilty parties had been found, that he spent $85,000 to take out adds in the New York Times, the Daily News, the Post and Newsday calling for New York to bring back the death penalty — inspired by five high-schoolers who hadn’t committed a capital crime. He was also pretty curious to take a peek at their birth certificates.

In any case, they didn’t do it. Not like, they probably didn’t do it — their convictions were vacated more than a decade ago after a serial rapist confessed from prison and DNA evidence corroborated his story. Not good enough for Donald, though, as Trump Justice is not about justice nearly as much as it is about Trump.

A high-school basketball coach, making a connection between Trump back then and Trump’s tweet of, “We are not dealing with an innocent baby here-DEATH,” tweeted at him: “With all due respect, after your rant about the Central Park 5, perhaps you should keep law and order comments to yourself.”

Oh snap. Dude set a hard pick and opened up the lane FOR A SICK BURN. But Trump will not be burned, no.

“Tell me,” Trump wrote, “what were they doing in the Park, playing checkers?”

Indeed! Black 14-year-olds? Outside? They must have been up to SOMETHING, good thing the police coerced confessions out of them and they spent a decade in prison, because maybe they were not playing checkers.

Brave Trumpy feels so strongly about his blatant racism that he then deleted the evidence completely, which is a startling departure from his usual move of repeating the claims on Fox News so he can lead the field of Republican presidential candidates. But this is America, where we are free not only to imprison minorities, but also take screenshots of revolting tweets. Here you go:

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