Before I get started on this lovely open letter, for those of you who don’t know, Alexandra Wallace is a UCLA student who posted the above YouTube video yesterday about her rant on Asian students making too much noise in the library and other things. Not too long after, she became the target of a whole LOTTA angry Asians who accused her of being racist and declared that her video was hate speech. Some have posted her contact information for the whole world to see and others are demanding for her to be expelled. In the midst of this sea of anger, here is my take.

Dear Alexandra Wallace,

I want to make sure that you know right away that this is not another hate mail. By now, you have probably received a whole lotta hate mail from a whole lotta angry Asians on your campus as well as nationwide in regards to your YouTube video.

I want to let you know that I am not going to call you a bitch, whore, or slut as many of my colleagues are doing. Because that’s degrading as hell. Nor do I think you need to expelled from UCLA. Nor do I think your rant is hate speech. And do I believe that it is just for people to post your contact information up for all the world to see? Hell no.

But I DO have a few words to say.

I’ll give you this, Asian parents do come to support their kids and yes, they do come a lot during weekends to help them out. Now, I’m not quite sure if they bring their entire family members including their grandma and cousins and whatnot from Asia, but I see your point even if it’s very ignorant. I do wonder though, do you rant about this because your own family doesn’t visit you? Are you feeling jealous of the Asian students that do have their parents visiting them? Just curious..

To your other point about Asians talking on cell phones: Okay fine yes, a lot of Asian people do talk on their cell phones loudly and yes, it annoys me too.

While a lot of Asians do talk loudly on their cell phones, this issue affects ALL people, not just Asians. Therefore, it is a tad unfair that you are targeting only Asians as the only culprits. Then again, you ARE in UCLA so when you’re surrounded by Asians, then yes, you will vent about what you immediately experience. And you did mention that at the end so okay, I got you.

I do want to debunk some of these ideas you have about Asian people though.

First of all, Asians don’t go “chingchonglinglongtingtong” because come on, that’s just ridiculous. The only Asians that remotely sound like that are Chinese and hell, they don’t even sound like that. If you want a good idea what Chinese actually sounds like, check out my friends at 18 Mighty Mountain Warriors who gives a lesson in “proper” Chinese mockery. You can check it out yourself.

Now you bring up the point that you are studying political science. Okay, I want to say, good for you! But if you are indeed studying political science, then you should be aware that the concept of “Asian” isn’t just about the typical yellow Asians you think Asians are but they also encompass Southeast Asians like Filipinos and Thai folks and South Asians like Indians and Sri Lankans. Being Asian is pretty freakin’ huge. Also, when you bring up “American” manners, keep in mind that American is not the term you think it is. It does not mean white, even though mainstream media may tell you differently. The complexity of what it means to be an American is ever changing and as someone studying political science, you should also be aware of that.

You almost crossed the line when you bring up the tsunami that hit Japan but in the end, I am going to have to agree with you on that one too. The library is a place to study in peace and if tragedy does happen, you do take that outside. I think that’s common sense because after all, you want your own private space when you deal with the hard news and also respecting the other people around you. I’m going to sound like a dick to my fellow Asian Americans for saying that but it’s true. So I give you that one.

Despite what many of my colleagues are saying, I am glad that you are being honest about how these issues bug you. You are speaking your own truth and it would be wrong of me to want to shut you up because I think it’s offensive. Which, to a degree, I think it is. But I can’t give you a hard time when I myself have my own rants about white people and it would be a hypocrite for me to say that you can’t have your own rants. For a rant, I do commend that you are talking about “random Asians” but not about your friends who happen to be Asian. I respect that you don’t pull out the “chink” or the “gook” word and it is because of that I do not believe this video is racist. It’s incredibly ignorant, yes, but hate speech? No.

But darling, I do need to remind you that once something goes up on the internet, it stays up for the WHOLE WORLD to see. While you did your best to take it down, there are more than two versions out right now that will haunt the living crap out of you. I seriously don’t envy your position as a UCLA student since over 40% of the students that go to your school are Asians. By Monday morning, you are going to have to face them and sooner or later, you will reap what you sow. While I understand that you had to rant, this video will bite you in the ass and this may actually affect career opportunities because in this day and age, the very people you are mocking, these “loud Asians”, they may be your employers who will hire you. So for your own sake, you better hope that they don’t see this video.

I hope you understand this very important lesson and that is to cool down and think before you even post a blog or video up on the internet, especially if you’re filled to the brim with emotions. At least talk about it to your friends and hear what they have to say. Because that is the smart thing to do.

I don’t want to end this letter with a downer so I will depart with a gift to you. Enjoy and I wish you the best of luck.

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Facebook Comments (Beta)

Are the Asian American families disturbing because they look more worn out than your average American family? It sounds like a very traditional first generation type of family that she is seeing. I don’t see any problem with her rant. She shouldn’t be bombarded with rants in response. It will make the Asians look like they are taking advantage of her because as a white female – she’s not exactly a member of the power elite. Let her have her voice. I could complain about Asians too.

Boogerhead

I’ve seen super posh overdressed corporate wives from Japan and South Korea catching everyone’s attention when visiting their kids. No one thinks their presence is disturbing. It sounds like these families are more working class.

raymonst

i find it ironic that she’s a political science student.

sweetheart, good luck at finding employment in the field after this video :).

raymonst

i find it ironic that she’s a political science student.

sweetheart, good luck at finding employment in the field after this video :).

django

She’s right about asian cell phone users in libraries.

drinkycrow

She’s right about asian cell phone users in libraries.

Boogerhead

Cut the apron strings! If they were my neighbors, I would be super annoyed.

Boogerhead

Cut the apron strings! If they were my neighbors, I would be super annoyed.

I’m pretty sure that the greatest justice of all is that it was posted on Perez Hilton. Good luck, dear. I’m done thinking about your video, but I’m betting that you won’t be done thinking about that for a long ass time.

A_Lee

I know I’m supposed to be outraged, or at least slightly mad…but I’m not. She’s complaining about two things – family visiting all the time to do everything for them, and people talking the library. Those are pretty legitimate complaints to me. I’m sure that other people do it to, and not all Asians do this…blah blah…but these are stereotypes, and 8asians isn’t above trafficking in stereotypes either.

If I’m mad about anything, it’s that Youtube removed it as hate speech.

A_Lee

I know I’m supposed to be outraged, or at least slightly mad…but I’m not. She’s complaining about two things – family visiting all the time to do everything for them, and people talking the library. Those are pretty legitimate complaints to me. I’m sure that other people do it to, and not all Asians do this…blah blah…but these are stereotypes, and 8asians isn’t above trafficking in stereotypes either.

If I’m mad about anything, it’s that Youtube removed it as hate speech.

A_Lee

I know I’m supposed to be outraged, or at least slightly mad…but I’m not. She’s complaining about two things – family visiting all the time to do everything for them, and people talking the library. Those are pretty legitimate complaints to me. I’m sure that other people do it to, and not all Asians do this…blah blah…but these are stereotypes, and 8asians isn’t above trafficking in stereotypes either.

If I’m mad about anything, it’s that Youtube removed it as hate speech.

A_Lee

I know I’m supposed to be outraged, or at least slightly mad…but I’m not. She’s complaining about two things – family visiting all the time to do everything for them, and people talking the library. Those are pretty legitimate complaints to me. I’m sure that other people do it to, and not all Asians do this…blah blah…but these are stereotypes, and 8asians isn’t above trafficking in stereotypes either.

If I’m mad about anything, it’s that Youtube removed it as hate speech.

A_Lee

I know I’m supposed to be outraged, or at least slightly mad…but I’m not. She’s complaining about two things – family visiting all the time to do everything for them, and people talking the library. Those are pretty legitimate complaints to me. I’m sure that other people do it to, and not all Asians do this…blah blah…but these are stereotypes, and 8asians isn’t above trafficking in stereotypes either.

If I’m mad about anything, it’s that Youtube removed it as hate speech.

A_Lee

I know I’m supposed to be outraged, or at least slightly mad…but I’m not. She’s complaining about two things – family visiting all the time to do everything for them, and people talking the library. Those are pretty legitimate complaints to me. I’m sure that other people do it to, and not all Asians do this…blah blah…but these are stereotypes, and 8asians isn’t above trafficking in stereotypes either.

If I’m mad about anything, it’s that Youtube removed it as hate speech.

Oh dear, sorry to break it to you Alexandra Wallace, but we’re American too, and most of the “Asian” kids at UCLA are actually American citizens. We may eat balut, bok choy, and bibimbap, but we vote in American elections and pledge our allegiance to the US of A, and our English is pretty darn good, so we kinda understood every word you said, maybe more than you did.

My American mom taught me manners too, such as not insulting over half of the world’s population on YouTube.

[UPDATED at 2:46 p.m.: Alexandra Wallace released the following statement to the Daily Bruin: “Clearly the original video posted by me was inappropriate. I cannot explain what possessed me to approach the subject as I did, and if I could undo it, I would. I’d like to offer my apology to the entire UCLA campus. For those who cannot find it within them to accept my apology, I understand.”

Block released an e-mail to students on Monday afternoon, explaining that the opinions expressed in the video do not represent the opinions of the UCLA community.

“I am appalled by the thoughtless and hurtful comments of a UCLA student posted on YouTube,” said Block’s statement. “I believe that speech that expresses intolerance toward any group of people on the basis of race or gender, or sexual, religious or cultural identity is indefensible and has no place at UCLA.“]

”

Tony34

OK folks- here’s your comment from the older Italian generation of educated folks. How come any time some kids spews a few accurate words at any group- OTHER THAN WHITES… it’s racist? Is that your best shot? I think the dean of the college ought to be fitted for some cement shoes (ala Jimmy Hoffa) if he suspends this kid. She wants to study. When I was in school, I was much more respectful- I just said, “Shut the F up Do*che Bag.” Then if they had any “hurt feelings”, I put my arm gently around them and walked them outside to discuss it in more detail. Funny… We didn’t have too many problems with loud talkers back then. Albeit, cell phones weren’t around, but I still- WITH my ENGLISH degree tell people to kindly lower their voices- and then I look at them as if I really mean it. And I still do. Now I work in an office- and guess what? All my co-workers like my attitude! Go figure…

@Tony34 Unfortunately, we don’t live in a historical vacuum and the actions of the past still affect us today. I don’t have an English or a history degree. And I wish all those rude people in the library would just stop because there are dumb people around who will make broad conclusions based on “race” which isn’t even an accepted biological construct by scientists today. I don’t have a science degree either. Stereotypes are a natural part of human cognition. It helps us tell a chair apart from an apple, but not being a flexible thinker and allowing stereotypes to cage in our minds is what leads to racism, bigotry, and ignorance. I do have a degree is psychology. The library I’ve been to in Asia are dead silent, but maybe they were on their best behavior because a loud American (me) was hanging around. *shrug*

she didn’t just say “those asian kids were noisy”. she threw in a ching-chong “joke” and another tsunami “joke” in her rant. she talked about “american” values as if the asian kids she talked about weren’t american.

i’m sure everyone finds it annoying when other people are being noisy in places like a library. but this is BEYOND that. if you don’t understand what’s so ignorant about her rant, well… i can’t help you.

momothethird

well thought out letter to miss wallace. i actually do feel sorry for the girl and the trials she may experience once at school.

Markizzza011

This is deplorable! Awful! Hate, discrimination..when will Americans learn?!?! I cannot believe that in this day and age a UCLA 3rd year Political Science student can make such awful and hurtful comments. I hope this is a good learning experience for this girl. She needs help.

boomerang

come on folks, she is cute, and only a student, it has more to do with attention getting than anything else lol, Asians is like Europeans, Caucasians, Americans, Blondes, these are not behavior-defined words, who is Chinese: people with citizenship of China, people from Hong Kong (British system), Americans of Chinese descent, ﻿﻿﻿Singaporeans? talking on the phone in a library is not considered good manner in any of these societies, she sure knew that, just being silly to get your attention lol …the verdict: bad bad manner for both library phone calls and making stupid youtube video …for the rest of the world, your time was wasted …lol – jamesboomerang@gmail.com

moye

@boomerang Oh, I forgot. Attractive college students get a pass in being offensive and racist. My bad!!!!!

JämesMeeker

Her entire video was filled with subtle prejudicial attitudes. While overt racism is not tolerated in mainstream American society, subtle racism often is. I found her video to be such a textbook example of subtle racial attitudes in America that I spent an hour or two writing a little FB note about it:

Her entire video was filled with subtle prejudicial attitudes. While overt racism is not tolerated in mainstream American society, subtle racism often is. I found her video to be such a textbook example of subtle racial attitudes in America that I spent an hour or two writing a little FB note about it:

@boomerang But only someone prone to prejudicial thoughts would put attention to the race/ethnicity of the perpetrators. Furthermore, she uses this behavior as justification for castigating Asians in general about issues not even relevant to “the library situation.”

To make talking on a cell phone in the library the moral equivalent of promoting racist attitudes is disgusting.

JämesMeeker

@Tony34 Judging by your grammar and poor command of the language you got your English degree at the University of Gumball Machine.

For your information researchers study both majority and minority group racism. There’s plenty of work done on anti-caucasian racism in America. However, as “whites” are the dominant group in this country minorities seldom have the opportunity to practice the types of wholesale, legal and systemic racism that whites have perpetuated against Native Americans, African Americans, Asians, Italians (at one time) and Irish (also in antiquity).

And no, the school shouldn’t suspend her. They should educate her with racial sensitivity classes and force her to broaden her horizons a bit more. And to examine her subtle racist attitudes. She’s not a committed racist–just a typical clueless white person in America.

David06

This could serve as a commentary for society at large today; people do not know how to be respectful. It’s common sense that if you want to talk on the phone, go outside. The college I used to go to had signs that said just that. That being said she should have also been more respectful in her video and more aware of what she was saying. There are ways to vent without being disrespectful.

Hsieh

COLOR ME AMUSED. (Re: the photo, not the article itself.)

I don’t have much to add that wouldn’t blow up into a comment of huge proportions so all I have to say is cheers, mate.

KimberlyBriscoe

Thank you for saying this. I went to school with Allie, she’s an incredibly sweet and intelligent girl, and I think it has been blown way out of proportion. She hits on some negative stereotypes, but I don’t believe that she was being out-and-out racist towards the Asian community. She certainly never deserved to have her e-mail, modeling pictures, and class scheduled posted; or to receive death or rape threats. She made a dumb mistake; but haven’t we all? How many of the people calling for her to be killed or raped haven’t thought a single racist thought? If you’re Chinese, Japanese, or of any other Asian/Oriental descent, can you honestly tell me that you’ve never had a single stereotypical or out-and-out racist thought about a white person, or any other race for that matter? She’s probably already had her life ruined by posting this video, shouldn’t that be enough for you? If an Asian man can write an article and forgive her, I think the rest of us should be able to, as well..

@KimberlyBriscoe You’re a good friend to come out and defend her. It’s clear that this was just an egregious mistake of a naive girl (and I say this because college was many ages ago for me) and she’ll be paying for it indefinitely. Unfortunately, she’s tapped into an American community who’s suffered an unending racism and discrimination in every aspect of our lives. Her words definitely hit a nerve because she treated us Asian heritage Americans as foreigners, a problem we continue to have to this very second and will continue to have for many generations here in America because of the color of our skin.

That said, I along with many other API community people do not approve of the sharing of her personal information nor the death and rape threats she’s receiving. It is immature and definitely does not represent the rest of us who are trying to respond responsibility to this situation. Every American community has their range of people, and the API community is no different.

I think she has no right to complain about a storm she brought down upon herself, but again, you are a good friend to speak up for her.

It is also important for you and Wallace to note the need I feel to speak for the Asian American community whereas you are speaking only for your friend. This shows that disparity between Wallace’s racial category and mine still exists.

Two of my life heroes are:

Jesus Christ: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

Martin Luther King Jr.: “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

rasalghul5555

I have many Asian friends and many also think this has gotten ridiculous if Alex is receiving death/rape threats. That is unacceptable and the idiots that are making those threats are pathetic cowards. It is funny because if she made a video about French people and how rude they are, i wonder if it would even be a blimp on the social meme radar. What I can fault her for is if she NOW does a miraculous 180 turn from her previous position about Asian people. If she suddenly decides what she said and posted before was totally wrong and unacceptable, I would find that insulting to my intelligence. People can grow, mature and change – I do not argue that. But to pretend immediately that she totally wants to dissociate herself from comments she clearly made just a few days ago would be disingenuous at best. That would reek of a spoiled bimbo brat that just wants to spit out “I’m sorry” and pretend certain things never happened and quickly move on in a matter most convenient to her. Live up to what you said and own it Alex – you can not expect people to think you were possessed when you made the video and now totally don’t now where inside your heart and mind that came from.

ShinwhaHong

@KimberlyBriscoe no, kimberly your friend deserves everything that she has gotten in my opinon if not more. I dont care about the friend you know as being good hearted or whatever she deserves hell for what she ignorantly ranted about. She deserves it. I hate how people today think they are entitled to an opinion on every subject matter that bothers them and its okay to speak out. A little advice to you polite all-american bitch of a friend, sometimes just shut the fuck up and keep it to your self.

Hsieh

@ShinwhaHong @KimberlyBriscoe I mean, I was pretty angry at her, but I still think she– and everyone else for that matter– is “entitled to an opinion on every subject matter that bothers them”. When something bothers me, hey, I’m sorry, but I feel like exploding, and I usually end up just ranting at whoever’s closest to me. I’m pretty sure this kind of thing is universal, too– unless you’re some kind of angelic being who doesn’t get bothered by things (or is so great as to keep it all inside forever), in which case, you have my awe.

Saying that it’s -not- okay to speak out is basically telling people that they’re not allowed to have an opinion, which, while a hilarious sentiment, is kind of an opinion itself.

raymonst

@KimberlyBriscoe no, she definitely does not deserve death/rape threats because of the video. i’m pretty sure most of us agree on that.

having said that, what she said was ignorant, point blank. you both shouldn’t be surprised at the angry reactions, nor should you expect everyone in the API community to back down and forget about this.

Pact

If Alexandra Wallace happens to read stop by and read the open letter above, I would also like to say a few things to her. Its not a bashing letter, just a response to her video #1 “The PROBLEM is…these HORDES or Asian people that UCLA accepts into our school every single year…” That’s pretty much saying you don’t want us (Asians) being anywhere near you or YOUR school but you have to adapt just because the school accepts us. #2 “Their moms and their brothers and their sisters and their grandma and their grandpa and their cousins and everybody else that they know that they brought along from Asia with them, come here on the weekend…” This one got me laughing because of how ….what is the word…misinformed you are. First of all, not everyone who looks Asian come from Asia and there are more than just the typical slanted eyes Asians live in the continent of Asia. Second of all, the immigration bureau will not simply let your whole entire clan come to the United States just because you got accepted into a college, in your case, UCLA. Those Asians and their family that you speak of are already permanent residents, passed the citizenship examination, or even naturally born citizens. I personally know Asian families who goes back to five, six generations in the US. #3 If this had not been covered in your university requirements, you should do some research about collectivism and individualism societies. Asians are raised with different values and always put the welfare of their family first. So what if their families visit them on the weekend and do their laundry and cook their food for them? It should show you something about family values, about how they care for one another. When you get to the part “they don’t teach their kids to fend for themselves…” I was literally rolling on the floor laughing. Have you ever been to Asia? It is a freaking jungle and it will swallow a cute girl like yourself alive! Asian countries are among the most competitive in the world when it comes to job, career, everything! If you do not know how to “fend” for yourself, you will literally starve to death. You, my darling, who walk on a smooth paved path your parents set for you, is the one who doesn’t know how to “fend” for yourself. The laughter was quickly set aside when you said “they don’t also teach them is their manners”. Trust me, Asian parents teach their kids manners, and they use the hard way! Since you touch upon the tsunami, lets use that example then. Even the news describe the Japanese as being “calm and civil” amidst the chaos of destruction. They waited patiently in line outside of the grocery store for hours with their hungry baby in their arms. They come together and help one another in tragedy. There were no looting, rape, or violence. They even try to share what little food they have with the foreign news reporters. If that doesn’t tell you what kind of manners they have then I don’t know what does. If a catastrophe of that kind of proportion befall in the US, I highly doubt the same scenario described above. #4 I do agree with you that it is rude to talk on the cellphone in the library, but your impression of the Asian language was uncalled for. It is very offensive to the Asian community, and there is a good reason for it. Growing up in the US, Asians are different from other children so they are often teased about their appearance. Of course, children are not sensitive to others’ feelings, that is understandable. They would do the same impression that you expressed on your video. It is offensive because you are no longer 10 years old and you are a college student at UCLA, no less. The accumulated humiliations since childhood emerged when you publicly demean the Asian communities.#5 “Being the police, nice American girl my mama raised me to be…” This video that you post contradicts everything you said about yourself. #6 This is the one that I am outraged about. I can’t believe that you are PMS enough to bash on people receiving phone calls from their family after a natural disaster. You said that you understand about the tsunami thing, but if that is so, you do not understand the most basic of all human emotions. If my family members were in danger, forget the library, even if I was the middle of an interview with Barack Obama on live international television, I would still pick up my cell phone to find out if they are safe or not. And trust me, the president of the United States would have asked me “Are your family alright?” instead of making a bash video about it only hours afterward.

There, I feel a little better when I type out what I wanted to say. I wasn’t going to say anything, but these words keep lingering in my head for a couple of days now since I watched that video. I hope this clear thing up for you.

izzy

It’s not about whether or not she deserves death threats. She brought this upon herself by taking the time to create this idiotic video. You suffer consequences for what you do, and if she didn’t know that, well, now she does.

I attended UC Berkeley, which also has a ton of Asian American students, but I have never known a single person whose parents (and grandparents and cousins and brothers and sisters, according to Alexandra) came every weekend to do their laundry. I also have quite a few Asian friends at UCLA, and they are not spoiled or rude. I am Asian and I have never answered or made a phone call in the library. Every individual is different. Yes, some are inconsiderate. I’m sure Alexandra had unfortunate encounters with a couple of rude people in the library. But instead of attributing this to the fact that they are just rude people, she decided that it was because of their RACE. Without knowing a single thing about them. And if you know ANYTHING about Asian countries, you know that it is a continent with extremely diverse cultures. How can a college student living in Los Angeles in the year 2011 still think that all Asians are the same?

Alexandra Wallace seems to think that UCLA is a “white” school and that Asians are the invaders. Does she even know that Asians have been in America since the 1800s???

People like her are the reason why we still have so many hate crimes and why we keep backtracking instead of progressing towards a better future.

Lodaa

As much as I hate her guts, I do understand that her speech wasn’t a hate speech, she just wanted to express how she felt against the Asian people in the libary and the apartment complex, etc.FIRST of all, her arguments are all biased. Second of all, So what if Asain parents comes over and cook and do laundry and etc. for their child? that’s called showing some support and love. After all, maybe they want them to study for the finals while the parents or other family members do all the chores? [ ever thought of that hmmm????]. Third of all, I just love how you mimick how Asian people talk. Of course that’s going to offend people, there not even a word! Fourth of all, ” We Americans are polite” what shit is that? I’m American and Asian but if you look at the history, we weren’t polite to those Indians, WE took their home!Even though I can still go on about what was bias in that video, I feel like you get the point, but at least cover up your clevage, just please.

Apart from any commentary about Alexandra — which everyone has done already — is anyone else kinda WTF about Eddy wearing a wig and looking all seductive to the camera at the end of the post? Maybe I’m just old.

@TinaTsai @ErnieHsiung did you really just bring up a RATM reference? Who the hell are you?? Coz I love you already.

jgifpeg

@rasalghul5555 I agree with most of what you said. The one thing that I don’t agree about is the fact that she changed her position. Schools are very protective of their image and I’m just gonna go out on a limb and assume that she was somewhat forced to change her stance in order to not make as large of a blemish on the UCLA image, because despite what we want to think, the majority of people like to attribute actions to groups moreso than individuals, just as Alex did. it’s just easier that way. My guess was she was probably subtly threatened by the school with something along the lines of suspensions or possible even expulsion.

rasalghul5555

@jgifpeg @rasalghul5555

Right, but I guess that is my point. Of course this bimbo did not have a personal revelation that what she said was hateful and ridiculous. But to say you have changed so quickly regardless of pressure from the YouTube/Internet community or UCLA administrators is so obviously insincere. What she regrets is having to face the consequences of her actions – not her actions itself. If she truly believed what she initially said – which I am sure she still does – then she shouldn’t lie now just to make the aftermath all go away for HER convenience. I understand UCLA would want some lip service in terms of this PR disaster but are people really that stupid that we think she had an overnight conversion. I would rather she made a more honest statement like for whatever reasons (i.e. the way she was raised, parents, etc) she finds herself easily annoyed with people that look and sound different from her like FOB Asians – but she has now learned a valuable lesson that sometimes it is better to keep certain thoughts to yourself. I know this statement is so purely honest it would be ridiculous to actually say in public which is the saddest part of this whole fiasco.