Monica Lewinsky's Vaginal Cigar Uncorked!

I never smoke cigars, especially the one Bill Clinton shoved into Monica Lewinsky, but I'm delighted to know that it's finally been identified (if not tested).

According to a press release I just got, "Several inside sources have finally confirmed that Gurkha Cigars was indeed the cigar that was used between Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton. In light of the recent announcement about the HBO movie Special Relationship featuring Clinton's personal relationships, Gurkha Cigars is happy to announce that they too are part of oval office history." -Roy MacLaren, Vice President Sales and Marketing.

Wow (cough, cough)! As a result of this toxic revelation--which has me gagging--so many hilarious and insightful thoughts spring to mind: