Better Business Boundaries Will Help You Love Your Life Again (I Promise)

You know when everything in your business feels like it’s all too much?
Clients contacting you day and night…
Paying late or making ridiculous demands and then not even thanking you?
What about those annoying people who ask for your time for free,
or to “pick your brain”?!
Fuckers.
If you’ve had enough of taking on everyone else’s problems, you need … boundaries
Boundaries give you back confidence in your business, reduce 90% of your stress and help you go bouncing through your work day.

This is no-joke my favourite topic at the moment and is about to become yours.

I modelled this video directly from the Berocca campaign of the 80s and 90s because seriously, having no or loose boundaries in your life and business sucks big time. On the other hand, when you get a handle on boundaries and design your life to make YOU happy first and foremost, you’ll actually start to make more money and enjoy your life and business again.

Why do women in particular have so much trouble setting boundaries around their time, money and energy?

Because we believe we have “no choice”

Because we want to be accommodating and “nice”

Because we want people to like us

Ouch! Harsh but true.

But when you really get this lesson, you’ll see that having strong boundaries is actually the most loving and respectful thing you can do and one that will attract a better quality of clients, friends and other people into your life.

Let’s start with something easy but very symbolic:

Boundaries around your time

When I first started in my business, I would coach people at 5am. It SUCKED big time and I wasn’t present with my clients or happy getting up at the crack of dawn. It made me grumpy and sleepy for the rest of the day.

Why did I do it? Because I thought that if I said no to my international clients, they wouldn’t book with me again. I wanted to be accommodating, even if it affected my quality of life.

My coach Fabienne Fredrickson told me that she has turned down many international clients because she refused to budge on her schedule. She told me;

“I am more important than money. They will find another coach who suits their needs better”.

And guess what? You will find more than enough clients that will work with your new and improved schedule, plus you’ll be WAY happier.

Your better time boundaries prescription

1. Decide when YOU want to work.

Do you want to do evenings and weekends… or not?

What’s the earliest or latest you’re happiest with working?

When do you work best?

Can you take off a whole day completely from client work?

It’s okay to have your business be exactly the way you want it. There are MORE than enough clients out there for you.

2. Create a new policy and inform your clients about it.

Just make a simple announcement on your website or newsletter:

“From 1st May, opening hours are X Y Z.”

No apologies or over-explaining (it’s your business after-all) and no need to beg for understanding. Just give them notice (anything up to a month is fine) and that’s the end of it. Remember, people make time for dentist and doctor appointments. You don’t have to be super convenient for everyone.

I know the fear is that you’ll lose all your clients, but trust me – that won’t happen. You might even free up time and energy to write a book, create some programs that don’t require your time or have energy for some well-defined pro-bono work.

3. Enforce the new boundary.

People will try and push the new boundary, “Can you make an exception for me, pretty please?“. Trust me. It will happen within 24 hours of you mentally and emotionally making the decision. I bet you ten bucks.

And seriously, the first time you enforce it, you’ll feel like the biggest bitch in the world, but stick to your guns and you’ll feel amazing.

Here’s something to think about – I used to offer my clients up to 55 different slots a week. I had maybe 10-15 clients a week which was my idea of a happy workload. So, I was just trying to be accommodating by offering them appointments anytime from 7am-6pm five days a week. (I stopped offering my 5am offering but 7am appointments still sucked).

One client said that seeing so many available appointments on my calendar made her think “hmmm, maybe Denise isn’t doing so well”.

So being too accommodating can backfire as well as making you stressed.

What about money boundaries?

Money blocks and boundary problems are so common for female entrepreneurs and it can destroy your business!

Are you suffering from…

Clients not paying

Discounting clients

Bartering or working for free

Not earning what you think you’re worth?

OMG – there is so much I want to say about this. I’ve written about money boundary stuff and how to increase your prices several times. But you might need a bit more help.

I’ve got a great resource for you where I talk you through 7 classic blocks and money boundaries and exactly what to do with them. I even give you the EXACT script I used when I stopped bartering and what I still use every time I increase my prices.

It’s my gift to you and you can get it below by entering in your name and email address.

Join the Money Course everyone's raving about

Comments

Brilliant – the video made me laugh out loud! I am really trying with boundaries – I have to see clients only within school hours, but I find it hard to stick to reply to emails during those hours too. I always do fear that they’ll get fed up if they have to wait a WHOLE weekend to hear from me. Doh – need to change that. I am also thinking about beefing up my payments boundaries – clients pay me at the session, but I do a lot of work for them in advance of the session, so if they cancel (even if in plenty of time) i have already done a fair bit of work for them. I just worry that people won’t want to pay in advance!
Great post – thanks for getting me thinking!

Hi Claire, just do it. Paying a deposit, or in full, in advance is becoming a standard part of business. Last year I paid, upfront and in full, for 3months training with a personal trainer. Only yesterday I paid a 50% deposit on a training program form my kids that doesn’t start for another 3 weeks and on that day I pay the rest. Just do it.

HAHA awesome video, Denise! Can I find your Boundaries products in stores? I have no doubt you will sell *lots* of these 😉

This post is especially important for entrepreneurs – we can tend to over-give and extend our help. My most important lesson in helping me define my boundaries was this: TIME CAN’T BE REPLACED. Once it’s gone, it’s gone, you can’t get it back. Money on the other hand, is infinite and you can always get more of it.

Thanks for this great post and fun video! Every point you touched on here is spot on!!
I’d like to comment on one item in your ‘commercial’ for your fabulous ‘new product’ called “Boundaries” – its been my observation that “Boundaries” are not just safe for ‘most women’ but safe for ALL women with virtually no negative side effects! 😉
“Boundaries” is one product that deserves more promotion! =)

I love your video Denise! Especially love the voice over and image of “boundaries”, it makes sense that it would be safe for most women, too. 😉 We’re just not used to enforcing them, or even thinking that we can have them in the first place.

Hellllllllll Yeah!!!, Denise!
You know that after the session I had with you back in the day about boundaries, my life changed! Right after I held to my guns (as you said), my business took off, big time! It was a tough lesson and I had many people testing me out. But now it’s awesome!
I love me some boundaries!
Thanks for your fun energy!

Hahaha! I love the small print on the box, Denise. Great timing with this blog post… I just had a client ask for a re-do portrait session because she didn’t wear the right shirt the first time… Was on the verge of saying yes because, like you said, I want to be accommodating, nice, and not have a dissatisfied customer. Now I’ll go handle it with boundaries in mind. 🙂

Love the video Denise. I set my boundaries about a year ago. One of them was no coffee meetings. All consults to be done over the phone. One of the reasons I started my business was so I could spend more time with my son. If I’m having meetings out of the house everyday, my time with my son diminishes.

I love your attitude (as always) and especially how you continually seek to EMPOWER women. This post is a fantastic example of that. Most women, I would say too, don’t set enough boundaries. LET’S DO IT. Out of respect for ourselves, amirite? Kickass commercial btw.

Great video Denise. When I worked in my family’s (father’s) business I had no boundaries (even until 50yrs old). I did everything asked of me and more even when I felt something’s were absolutely unacceptable. Now their business has gone belly up, they are still always wanting my time and help. Now I just tell them I’m unavailable unless I want to do something. I am looking to get into my own business and am happy to establish boundaries as this is what really suits me

I did this recently when after ages of worrying about it I decided to close down the dog grooming site of my business to concentrate on other aspects. Boy did the proverbial hit the fan. I had clients in tears ringing me day and night pleading with me not to let their poor darling pets suffer (there are three other services in my area). One lady was so bad she even decided I must have depression and called the police telling them I was about to kill myself. A month later I am still getting calls from one client begging with me to not close. I have been very strong and stood my ground but honestly they try to make you feel very bad. A psychologist friend told me it os all to do with attachment syndrome and to be complimented that I meant so much to them,

BRILLIANT! Many people email me to ask what they should eat instead of {insert whatever they are intolerant to here}. It’s really rather annoying! I either point them to the blog or ask them to coach with me {which they never respond to, as they just want my time for free}. Great video too 🙂