advanced reading copy of ADOPTING GRACE
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and embarrassed. Even though I no longer practiced corporal punishment, I regretted that I had ever done so. Humiliation of my child was never my conscious intent. Because I had not seen emotional connection modeled in a healthy way, I did not know how to come alongside my son when he was in emotional distress, I sometimes defaulted to physical punishment. This practice certainly broke bonds and interfered with our mother-son relationship. Why had I repeated a parenting practice that I myself hated when it had been applied to me as a child? I remember feeling helpless and then a furious anger when I was the recipient of corporal punishment. The only answer to my why question is that it requires a great deal of self-awareness and intention to change such patterns. My son’s honest words on that day held up a mirror and gave me a chance to see myself more clearly. ***** Recently, I visited with my friend Beth who lived with our family one summer while she was in college. In exchange for room and board, she occasionally cared for our young sons so that Mark and I could go out and spend time together. As Beth and I sat on the couch, catching up on each other’s lives, she said these words to me. “I am afraid that I messed up your son.” Curious about what she was referring to, I asked her to explain. She recounted that one of our boys, around three years old at the time, was often particularly whiny and emotional. ADOPTING GRACE ADVANCED READING COPY 24