Sanctuary for the Abused

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Why Abusers Choose the Victims They Choose

"I am very much attracted to vulnerability, to unstable or disordered personalities or to the inferior. Such people constitute more secure sources of better quality narcissistic supply. The inferior offer adulation.

The mentally disturbed, the traumatized, the abused become dependent and addicted to me. The vulnerable can be easily and economically manipulated without fear of repercussions."

11 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Does anyone see the absolute horror of this? The already abused are major targets for more abuse!

Why do I never hear sermons on THIS? That evil is real, that evil people are born this way, and we have behaviors that signify this. Psalm 58:3. Instead we only hear what I call the rape verses: Romans 3:23. The thing about psychopaths is that they feel no guilt or shame and can't KNOW they are sinners. Not in the emotional sense. Don't you think it's truly profound and grotesque that a psychopaths MAIN goal is to BE WORSHIPPED? That the only "emotions" that they feel are anger, hatred, jealousy, rage and a grotesque form of glee? John 8:7 psychopaths? No. They cannot feel guilty or "sinful".

Keep in mind that they think/believe that they are god. They truly think that others are only there to serve them in some way. So as a Christian, when you are trying to please them, ie think of their needs and meet them, out of love and a desire to show them the lord, do you know what they are thinking? That you are LUCKY to serve/worship them and that it's the least you can do. They believe that they can control you with their mind. So when you accomodate them because you were given a heart to serve, they think that it's because they control you. DO YOU SEE HOW DANGEROUS THESE PEOPLE ARE? And just so you know, you can't serve two masters. The bible is clear on this and if you are serving a psychopath, you are serving one who belongs to his father the devil.

Be very clear on this point. That they want to be worshipped and think it's their right. This is true of ALL psychopaths whether they are in charge of a major coorporation or a homeless person, they think that you should worship them and that it's the least you can do. Benevolence is not only lost on them, they think that they deserve it.

What do I consider to be a psychopath? It's one who's brain is wired in such a way as to not feel love, empathy etc. To get a good picture of what I'm refering to,check out the video "I,Psychopath". There are other resources as well. Dr. James Fallon is a neuroscientist who has the brain of a psychopath and he too has videos on youtube. BE VERY AWARE WHILE YOU WATCH THESE VIDEOS OR READ ANY ARTICLES WRITTEN BY THESE PEOPLE. THEY ARE PSYCHOPATHS AND THEIR VERY NATURE IS TO LIE AND DECEIVE AND BE WORSHIPPED. You can see this clearly in the "I, Psychopath" guy. Check out the part where he's talking about his wife. How hes GLEEFUL that she wants to have sex and he won't let her and how she wants to have a baby and doesn't. Too, when he's offically diagnosed as a psychopath (after a brain scan) he says something like he doesn't have any emotions but his wife does, so together they make a whole person. (paraphrased) What? NO! She is a whole person WITHOUT him and he STEALS from her.

Nothing will change until we START with testing for psychopathy. It's much EASIER to diagnose narcissist, passive-aggresive etc because it IMPLIES that we may be able to "work" things out. Never. They are unappeasable. .

In his book "Unspeakable:Facing up to the challenge of Evil" by Os Guinness, he says something like denying that evil exists doesn't make it go away, it gives it free reign. So true. Dr. Robert Hare, the renowned expert on psychopaths said in an interview with NPR (May 27,2011 Creator Of Psychopathy Test Worries About Its Use) "In those days, (the 1960's) social factors, environmental factors were the explanation for all crime. When you're born, just a blank - you're a blank slate and I can train you to be anything you want." This is how most of us have been raised. to believe that we are all fundamentally the same. Born with a conscience. That we all seek truth etc. Now that I know what psychopathy is, this belief is so clearly a lie and what's more, it puts us in the line of fire with NO WAY TO DEFEND OURSELVES.

I was with a guy that kept beating me down emotionally. He isolated me from parents, friends and any sens of self I once had. It took him physically assaulting me to finally snap out of it and break free. He denies it all and blames me.

I think he chose me because I was vulnerable. I was independent financially, but he sweeped me off my feet because he knew how to read my type. Be very careful girls. The honeymoon with a sociopath can last months. The isolation, control and abuse creeps in ever so slowly.....

Wait. So is this saying that it's the victim's fault that abusers choose them? Maybe it is to a point but I don't think it's all my fault that some people are simple psychopaths.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I think that I am "chosen" because of many reasons. But none of them being that I am inferior or that I am mentally unstable. I think it's just the opposite. I am chosen because I am a good, kind, loving person. I am chosen because I am intelligent. I am chosen because I have more going on than the abuser(s) could ever imagine having. They are jealous. They want to push me down to their level. They can't stand someone being so much better than them.

I don't think they choose me for being a negative quality. I think it's the opposite actually and the fact that I haven't yet completely healed from the first round. Just my opinion.

Oh! Okay. I think I understand now. The whole thing is a quote. So it's saying that the narcissist will perceive anyone and everyone aka victims to be of lesser quality than they are.

They project their mental instability and their inferiority, their personality disorders onto the victims? Because in the narcissists mind, they are basically "god like" and everyone else is beneath them? Is that what it's saying?

I am someone who is frequently targeted by narcissists. My most recent relationship was a very brief marriage to an abuser who, I'm certain, in hindsight, because I was traumatized by a very abusive stalking situation and plagued by legal & financial matters. As heartbroken and devastated as I am, the mystery is solved. We may be traumatized, but often people like us have been raised to be the scapegoat in our families of origin. On the website kellevision.com (search on scapegoat) the site's author, a trained clinical therapist, writes about this family dynamic and states we tend to repeat the roles we learn as children. Oh. And two characteristics always present in the person chosen as the scapegoat? Whatever the reasons may be for choosing a particular child as the scapegoat, he or she is always the strongest and always the most loving.

I think, for men on women, it starts with a 'knight in shining armour' attitude and moves on to 'nice guy syndrome'. They want to feel more important and powerful and look for a girl they can feel superior to, it starts where they think rescuing a victim will get them a girlfriend and ends with righteous anger at not getting the reward they expect. Whenever I start a new job feeling vulnerable I get swamped with guys who claim they're just being friendly and i fall for it because I actually only want friends and not a boyfriend at work, when they think i trust them, they then try to control me and make me feel weak and vulnerable. Once I show a chink in the armour many people seem to pile on and try to take advantage, as if to make sure they are not seen as 'the weak one'.I think it's quite sad that these people need to find someone weak to prey on, if they are so much better than me would they not prefer a challenge to prove their might? It shows so obviously that they are over compensating for their inner flaws, I can't belive they truly think they are superior. They just want to find someone, anyone they can push around to make them feel like the man they know inside they really aren't. Narcissists are just the ones that get away with this kind of behaviour and it's the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves. They are the ones who are addicted. So sad.

I've lived most of my life being abused--taken advantage of, lied to, stabbed in the back, slandered and my reputation as a decent human being destroyed to an extent, even having been put in harm's way more than a few times by one man some years ago, had to endure being lied about by a bad tenant in my building and being arrested unjustly--happened earlier this year--and I have to make 2 court appearances due to this bad neighbor who has nothing better to do than look around for trouble due to living off Assistance and toking up too much--he looked for someone vulnerable and alone to drag down, and saw me as an "easy target." Ruffians in my neighbourhood are especially difficult to associate with, so I keep a distance from them, but there are quite a few of them. Growing up in my family I experienced psychological abuse and neglect from my parents, and was bullied quite frequently by my big brother--my immediate family treated me as if I were "inferior" to them; we are German background, and my Dad one day called me his "little Jewess" when I was a little girl--speaks volumes on where they stood with abuse, like common Nazis. They even neglected badly the first two pets we had--that was heartbreaking to witness, and I wasn't allowed to speak up against even that one. My mother in particular kept a lid on me--kept me silent--she'd send me out to play or to my room if I so much as spoke a word to her. I developed severe depression and anxiety by my late teens, and the abuse got worse, as they found more opportunities to treat me as an "inferior" because mental health problems is so stigmatized in our society, especially among my folks, who were narrow-minded and very controlling to say the least. They had control over me until they passed away--both parents were in their 90s and my brother passed away as well some years ago. Abuse in the family can be a permanent, ongoing thing, leading to the abuse victim being destroyed eventually. The victim can try suicide--I attempted suicide 3 times when I was younger. In extreme cases, abusers in a family situation can wind up actually murdering their victim. Abusers cannot be reasoned with or peaceful terms made with them; the best thing to do is to leave them alone and manage as best as one can on one's own--get on with the business of living--pick up the pieces of one's shattered life and move on and live the life he/she was always meant to live--in happiness, peace and some contentment, even success. I never wish to get even with any abuser; I just would rather start living a peaceful, contented life and wipe the slate clean. But--abuse ought never be tolerated in our society--laws need to be made to allow the abusers to be held accountable for the damage they caused their victims. Not jail time, unless they tried bodily harm. But they do need to face the fact they did damage to their victims and learn a good lesson about human decency and respect. I could speak volumes, but hope this isn't too much already.

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GENDER BIAS
Numerous men have come in here and been offended that the abusers are referred to as "he" in many of these articles. I want to make it perfectly clear that I am well aware of the fact that female abusers exist and cause just as much devastation as their male counterparts. The sad fact is that there are more male abusers than female narcissists, but domestic homicide is the leading cause of death in women surpassing cancer and car accidents. A woman dies at the hands of her significant other every 6 days, and when you look at the stats for the whole world it is even more bleak. Worldwide, a woman dies every day due to domestic homicide. One in 3 women will experience abuse in her life. It is a plague on society worldwide, causing devastation and ruining lives of men and women. Abuse is an equal opportunity scourge, abusers don't care what color, nationality, religion, age, health condition or socio-economic status, or gender the victim is, the only prerequisite a victim must have is a heart and empathy.
Replacing he or him with she or her as you read is simple enough. Please remember these articles are NOT written by me but shared as supportive information. Thank you.

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