I’m cool with “fluffy AU” but I get more weirded out when people *insist* that a pairing be fluffy as the default state of the ship in fandom; like any dark interpretation is perverse, despite being a more probable result of canon. That tends to make me…. uneasy.

yeah, this is actually…a better way of putting it, and the kind of thing that makes me not just “confused” but actually “nervous” because…yeah, it ends up feeling like it’s just downright ignoring the elephant in the room.

and then you end up with people acting like darkfic writers are just pulling it out of their asses because of course it should be fluffy and they/we are the ones “making it weird” or whatever

I mean, like. this is an extreme example but I would and do hella side-eye people who ship Jessica Jones/Purple Man like it’s a romantic pairing without setting it in some kind of AU that totally removes the original context of their interactions? and often it’s not that clear cut, yeah, but there is a desire to sort of…efface the bad stuff in order to smooth the shipping way.

ehhh idk what I’m saying, I’m always going to end up coming down on the “ship and let ship” side of all of this but I’ve had a few too many encounters with people telling me, a person who tends to err on the side of “fucked up” when it comes to shipping, that I am a perverse demon sullying their faves, sooooo

I recently saw a pain scale with the caption “if you can still talk, your not at a nine” and it really really bothered me. One of my doctors (who works extensively with teenagers with CRPS) said that one common theme he sees in his patients is a complete lack of reaction to pain. He told me that when he performs procedures and tests that are objectively extremely painful, often the teenagers will be smiling and cracking jokes, even though he knows that they are in excruciating pain. At nine I can carry on a conversation (not very well, because at this point things start to get really cloudy for me, but still a conversation). During my nerve conduction study (If you’ve ever had one you know how awful it is, and if you haven’t, it involves a six inch long eighteen gage needle stabbed deep into your muscles over and over while you clench and relax them as instructed.) i chatted with the nurse and played games on my phone. It wasn’t that I wasn’t in pain, it was just I was also outside of it. For teenagers with chronic pain a disassociation from themselves and their bodies is common, even expected. If I “grounded myself”, saw myself as In my body and of my body and nothing else I don’t know how I would survive. In order to live, to get out of bed or wash my hair or put on pants I have to separate ME from my body. It’s how I can pop my shoulder out of socket and put it back in during a conversation. It’s a matter of survival. And I’m tired of people saying that my pain isn’t real or valid because of it.

What’s scarier? The fact that these people exist, or that they wonder why women don’t like them?

If you just randomly stand too close to a random stranger, of course she’s going to move away from you. You’re in her personal space. (It’s also possible that she’s afraid that she’s in yours. Maybe she thinks you were there first and she somehow didn’t see you.)

If you want to meet women, go to a place where women want to meet men. If you just approach a woman who’s minding her own business, of course she’s not going to be open to a conversation with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a “Chad”. If she plans on being left alone, she’s most likely not going to change those plans. It’s not because you’re ugly.

You didn’t give up what you wanted to do for the sake of a stranger’s comfort, BUT THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT YOU EXPECTED HER TO DO!

Then you FUCKING CHASED HER! And you COMPLAIN THAT SHE RUNS AWAY! It’s not because you’re ugly. It’s because you’re FUCKING DANGEROUS!

And if women did what you expected and slept with any man who wanted to sleep with her, you’d label her as a “slut”. There’s nothing women can do to please entitled men.

When a Ravenclaw makes their way to the great hall for breakfast, they take the long way there so they can talk to some of their favorite portraits. Sometimes they get knowledge passed on through generations of portraits all over the school. Sometimes they hear the portraits talking about the past, sometimes distant, sometimes more recent. And most of the portraits like to talk about troublemakers that they always saw out of bed after hours and insisted on people calling them The Marauders. Whenever a Ravenclaw asks what The Marauders real names are, the portraits just smile sadly and say words that most certainly aren’t names: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.

Aries: the daredevil.
They’ll fight for you and protect you, but be direct, upfront and adventurous. The type to go to a festival and fuck you in the car, but also spoil and be jealous. Sometimes lacks the ability to slow down but means the best. Demanding.

Gemini: the free spirit.
Doesn’t want to feel tied down. Wants a person to do whatever with them: sleep, go on drives, have witty conversation, watch Netflix, doesn’t matter. They want to feel like they’re with their best friend and not be smothered, but they’re curious and will never want to stop learning about you. Expressive.

Cancer: the over feeler.
They’re very loyal but demand a lot, bringing security, love and care. They pay attention and want security, but also to be allowed to care for you. Mothering.

Leo: the show off.
Wants to go out and show you off. They want to feel wanted and be able to brag about your relationship. They’re warm and loyal in a relationship but can be self centered. Sometimes they forget the give, in give and take. They’re very physical and sex is very important. Needy.

Virgo: the submissive.
will act tough and sassy but truth is: they probably need you. will move the earth to make you happy, do anything you ask at the drop of a hat. You will never have to question if they love you, not when they’re being sarcastic, not when they’re expressing themselves to you. Never. Extremely submissive in bed, but also very kinky. Will give themselves to you over and over again.

Libra: the romantic.
Cute dates and long cuddles. Slow kissing, laughter and class are how they love. They nurture but never stop courting you. Will bring you flowers every anniversary for the rest of your life. Givers in bed. They get screwed over a lot due to their trusting and loving nature. Hopeless.

Scorpio: the psycho.
Passionate and quiet. Their love is like a silent storm that rains over you and only you. You will never have to worry about them leaving if they truly love you. They’re jealous and controlling though, sex will always be them in control.

Sagittarius: the all or nothing.
They will never do anything half way. It’s everything or you get nothing. They’re a confusing mix of serious and lighthearted- forward and passive aggressive. Intense, and experimental.

Capricorn: the rock.
They’re funny and sarcastic but they’re solid, they want you to see what good there is in dating them. They’re both givers and takers and not push overs but will have a soft spot for you. Practical.

Aquarius: the rebel.
Notorious for being detached, Aqua will impress you by slowly opening up. They’ll want to get into all sorts of trouble with you, and they’ll slowly become your best friend. They’re interesting and quirky and will give stimulating conversations, passionate kisses, little kisses and lots of diverse sex. Once they have you they’ll never want to let go.

Pisces: the dreamer.
Softhearted and starry eyed, they will think the world of you, while building a world with you. They’re sweet and genuine and creative. Never stop romanticizing you. They’re old souls with the stars in their eyes when they look at you.

It has pretty much everything but there is a point where there will be smut so if you don’t fancy something like that you can just skip the part.

Description:Your cousin gave you a gift. It’s a pen, a pen that whatever you write upon your skin with it will also appear on your soulmate’s. Silly stuff, how can what you write with a stupid pen appear on your soulmate’s skin?

I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to sit and talk about life, love, anything, and everything just intrigues me. If we can both share opinions on subjects and not feel like one of our opinions is better than the other and just talk; that’s a beautiful thing to me. 💕

What You Couldn’t, Shouldn’t, and Don’t Need to Know Before Becoming a Sugar Baby...(and What You Do Need to Know!)

Girl. Let me just tell you I might don’t make it with this post (and if “I might don’t make it” isn’t a phrase you use in everyday conversation no matter your mood I encourage you to try it. It is the kind of phrase you don’t need to understand-but I know your beautiful black ass does- and that immediately makes you laugh). I’ve been working like crazy on The New Money Girls. Can you believe it’s going to out in the world in a little over two weeks? I’m planning on having a Beyonce and white wine spritzer party again on release day. Yes, if you were wondering, I will spam @lustington and @brownstatuesquesugarbaby with video again.

This week, I want to talk to my sisters and best friends entering the bowl for the first time or after a hiatus. I remember the first (and second) time I entered the bowl. I remember the uncertainty. Hell, I remember the first time I went freestyling. I wasn’t new to sugaring but I was still almost paralyzed with fear. I would like to say to you all of the things someone would have said to me because I love you and if I can ease your mind even a fraction then everything I’ve revealed about my journey is worth it.

What You Couldn’t Know

You can’t know the future. I know that, intellectually, you are aware of this. But it’s a problem, isn’t it? Not knowing whether we are going to be successful in a new endeavor is an excellent way to keep us from doing new things. It is the impetus we need to find a different way, a safer way to try and meet our goals. While I want you to protect yourself and be concerned with your safety, in fact, I want it to be your number one priority, I don’t want you to play it safe because safe often equates to lazy and afraid. What am I really trying to say? Best friend, the thing that I’m always trying to say. GET OFF SUGAR BABY SITES. Would life be easier if you could just have a straightforward conversation with a POT about allowances and how much he’s willing to give you? Yes. It would. But you’re capping your potential.

Think about it. You are limiting yourself to men who have a) heard of sugar baby websites, b) are comfortable admitting they are sugar daddies, c) can weed through all of the messages they receive each day (we outnumber them I think 6 to 1 on the sites) and compete with women who are probably accepting less than you. You are also opening yourself up to the frustrating process of weeding through men who just don’t want you because of the color of your skin.

My best experiences in this bowl have been with men that would argue you to death about why they are not sugar daddies. They are just men taking care of the woman they are interested in. And you know what? That’s just fine because, to be honest, sis, you aren’t looking for a sugar daddy. You are looking for a man with money who is willing to help you accomplish your goals. Let me say that again because I really want you to get it. You are NOT looking for a sugar daddy. You are looking for a man with money who is willing to help you accomplish your goals.

Take a deep breath of relief because you already know men. You have already interacted with them. You have already dated, fucked and sucked men (or maybe you haven’t. Maybe I’m the only wild girl out here). You are not changing what you do. You are changing who you do it for. I’m going to repeat that again too. You are not changing what you do (dating). You are changing who you do it for (no more broke boys). That’s all sugaring is: deciding that your time is too valuable to give to men who can’t compensate you for your effort financially.

Does that mean you need to have an allowance? No. I’ve watched my sugar sisters finesse men out of hundreds of dollars, thousands actually, not because they have an allowance but because they have a connection and when you have a connection a man has a reason to take care of you.

What You Shouldn’t Know

What other girls think of you, whether they approve. Are you being safe? Are you comfortable with your decisions, what you’re offering, and what you’re receiving? Good. That’s all that matters. Sugaring is about stepping stones. You will probably not land a whale on your first go round. That’s okay. You probably don’t want to because you’re going to do what I did and fuck this sugaring thing up six different ways from Sunday. Do you want to do that with a man that makes more money than your mind can even conceive of? The answer is no, in case you’re wondering.

You’ll look back on your sugar journey and realize that you have incrementally improved the caliber of men that you are with. You will find that the more comfortable with who you are as a sex worker the more you get. You will notice that you still make mistakes but it’s easier to recover or let that man walk out of your life. You will also realize that it’s more important to meet your goals than it is to get the approval of internet strangers. If you have questions and after doing the extensive research you still don’t have an answer, it is perfectly okay to message a sugar sister and ask for help. But do you need them to approve a man, an allowance, an arrangement? No. And if it doesn’t feel good to you, if you’re in doubt, don’t bother messaging someone. Get out. You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Ever. Sugar on your terms or don’t do it at all.

What You Don’t Need to Know

What you’re going to say or do in every possible scenario when you go freestyling (because dammit best friend you’re going to get out and freestyle even if I have to talk about it until I’m blue in the face). Do you know what having pre-prepared responses is? Scriptwriting. Do you know what the problem with having a script is? They only work if the other person knows their lines. When you enter this here sugar bowl, I want you to be yourself. I know everyone talks about having a sugar persona, hell, I even allude to the idea of having one, but what I really want is you to decide who your most confident, natural self is and to be that woman because again you’re not changing what you do. You’re just changing who you do it for.

What Do You Need to Know

This is easy and important: you need to know who you are and where your boundaries lie. If you don’t know, please, believe me, the sugaring world will teach you quickly, aggressively, and painfully. If you aren’t sure who you are let me get you started because I know. We are best friends after all.

You are not desperate for money. I don’t care if you’re down to your last $100 and rent is due (I’ve been there) you aren’t desperate for a man or money. You attract good fortune and opportunities no matter where you are or what you do because you’re a hard working bitch that doesn’t take no for an answer and refuses to be satisfied with anything but the life she wants.

You are a woman with goals. Even if that goal is just to get a new pair of shoes, you have a goal

You are a woman that gets what she wants because she works hard for it.

You are a woman that works hard.

You are a woman that can say no and watch a man walk out of your life because you know another is coming.

Your boundaries do not have to make sense to anyone but you. Only want to see a man on Mondays because every other day is unlucky? I ain’t judging. Get those Monday dates and that Monday money. The point is to feel safe and comfortable with who you are and how you’re moving in these sugar streets. Fuck what anyone else thinks.

We’re here again, sis. This is the time when you tell me whether you agree, I forgot to add something to the list, or you think you might don’t make it because this whole post was ridiculous and wrong. Let’s chat in the comments, boo. And a big thank you to everyone that has commented or messaged me this week. I loved reading every single thing you sent me and I love you. Every black ass thing about you.

aquarius intercepts thoughts conducted by past, present, and future spiritual beings. they use their marvellous mind to transform intuitive messages and different frequency dispatches into human language. aquarius cannot activate their wisdom and become a recluse. it can cause overriding feelings of separation and personal defectiveness. they may forget how to generate natural human responses because they become so secluded and cut off from their own emotions inside. air is a medium shared between all people, so the pyramids and puzzles that reside in the aquarius mind are made for sharing. when aquarius makes a discovery, it means that all of humanity takes a leap in consciousness. they need to connect and unify so that the mind can be frequently aired out and retain its human and social qualities. the further aquarius drifts from people the harder it becomes to communicate, relate, and innovate. the mind can become especially cruel and chaotic because it’s only conversing with itself and its own unique language. the aquarius water jug is made to be filled and poured. without human love and interraction the jug overflows, it can make the individual very confused, verbally stifled, incoherent dazed, difficult to follow in conversation and forgetful with practical matters. violentally high frequency of information is circulating inside, that cannot be truly understood alone, and becomes destructive space junk when not converted to something earthly. jesus was ascended came down to earth so he could deliver a message, to walk amongst the people and feel the ground. this is very much the mission of aquarius, to descend from the elevated esoteric electricity and bring the rain that hydrates the spiritual waters of man. to relinquish all comforts of heaven and stand on the ground with the people and raise them higher together. it can almost seem unnatural for the aquarius to be a constant, brightly lit social figure, they certainly do need to be alone so they can think and reflect, but they cannot disconnect completely or it can become an unpredictable, erratic, and lonely mental ordeal