Being too Tolerant

With the increase and interest in rope bondage, we are seeing an increase in the amount of accidents and nerve damages. I think this is mostly because riggers are not trying well and not taking care or knowledge of placement on the individual they are tying.

It is shocking the amount of people who take nerve injury as a standard norm, as part and parcel of their rope bondage experience. Sure, accidents happen, we are all only human, but these accidents should be few and far between. There is information out there and people who can teach how to avoid and reduce these unfortunate accidents.

To often, the bottom is blamed for these unfortunate accidents, for being susceptible, for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, for not warming up, or just being unlucky. If you are repeatedly hit with nerve injuries, it is very likely that that cause is not you. You might want to examine why and how they are occurring, and you might want to look at the people who you allow to tie you.

It is a kindness to speak up and let riggers know if they have hurt you, awareness and enlightenment are key to improving. I think the best learning tool a rigger can have is a self aware bottom that communicates well. Nerve injury is not something to be endured, you are not a bad bottom if you have repeated hits, it is up to your rigger to know how to tie you without hitting your nerves and you certainly are not a bad bottom if you inform them of this mistake. It is your responsibility to yourself and them, to inform them and it is their responsibility to learn, improve and adapt. It is unacceptable to be tied by someone who repeatedly hits your nerves, you do not have to accept this.

Even when starting out with someone learning it is no excuse, they should be researching vulnerable areas and doing their best to avoid them before they indulge in something like partials or suspension which increases risk of nerve damage occurring. A good rigger should listen to their bottom and accept feedback. Like I said, accidents happen but it should not be a regular occurrence and this is true of those new to rigging also.

If every bottom spoke up and refused to be tied by those who repeatedly hit nerves, are unwilling to learn, and do not tie well, think how much the standard of rope would raise. Incompetent riggers would be eliminated or they would learn and improve. I am not suggesting to be over picky, just to give feedback and if met with an unwillingness to learn and improve, I would recommend that you be unwilling to let them tie you.

Hopefully the end result will help make the person tying you improve, keeping you less at risk and have happier bondage.