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'Fake' friend sends wrong signals

The Lowell Sun

Updated:
12/22/2012 07:12:02 AM EST

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who can be a real fake sometimes. She's a nice person, but when she dislikes someone, she acts like that person is her best friend. For example, if it's his or her birthday, instead of just writing "Happy Birthday" on Facebook, she'll write "Happy Birthday xoxoxo Love you!!!!!!" and then complain that the person acts like they're best friends.

I tell her that she's giving people the wrong impression and that there is a way to be nice and civil without making a person she dislikes think they're best friends, but she won't listen. What do you think? -- Friend of a Fake, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FRIEND OF A FAKE: Your friend is dishonest, which is not nice at all. It's actually manipulative, given that it makes the other person believe she harbors positive feelings when the opposite is true.

One way you may be able to get her to see the folly of her ways is to ask her about your relationship. Tell her you are a little concerned about how she feels about you. If she usually treats you nicely, is that real or is she faking it with you, too? Ask her. Tell her that you can't be sure what she thinks anymore since she says one thing and means another so frequently.

She will likely call you silly and say that of course you know how she feels. That's when you remind her that other people think she likes them, too, when it's really the opposite.

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