There has been a significant rise in the number of LPRTG Newsletter followers. Thank you to all the new recruits.

For those of you considering joining, consider this:

$.

This Site

The other awesome success has been the rise in people buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for our books while the author gets the entire profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you.

This one is about you. And, hot damn, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. What? Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.

Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!

Do you hear that? Right in the peripheral of your brain. Yes that. Like audio ghosts. What the…? What is that? Is that what I think it is, baby? Callie? Emme? Genevieve? Mama? Is that the funk? The Flashlight? the Mothership? How’s your Funk? la da da di da da da da da da da. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam!

How’s your Funk-Entelechy? Me? Well, I’m known as lollipop man, aka the long-haired sucker, so not to0 funkin’ bad. Why are there stars in your eyes? All the better to funk you with.

Bernie Worrell, Dr. Woo, RIP, my funk brotha!

I was lucky enough to see Dr. Woo play over thirty times at various locations from small supper clubs to big concert halls. I was also given the amazing moment of meeting the band and chatting with them for hours, which I’ll obviously never forget. This man truly changed my life. Y’all may not know, some of you do, that I moonlight as a funk brother playing drums, keyboard, guitar, and bass depending on the funk. In fact, I didn’t have eyes on writing at all when I was younger. I was music all the way. If you’d like to know the truth, ask away. Until then, i’ll leave it shrouded in mystery. Listen to one of the greatest keyboard players to ever touch the planet Earth.

Anything else to report these days? If so, let me know.

Ooh Ooh, nerdy girl editing by Jenn, the ex-Disney star. Try her out. She did the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapades. She’s a genius. Any mistakes are mine, not hers. I’m the one who can’t edit worth shit. Click the link and see what she offers. Mention my name when you do.

I always admired Roy Lichtenstein while I was growing up, but as I get older I wonder about the artist's legitimacy. Anyway, I digress. The art kicks ass and check out these comic strip poems that were inspired by Lichtenstein (except when they weren't).

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk Okay kids, let’s get real. Dialogue. Why is it so hard for so many people? Everybody talks, right? Everybody hears people talk, right? So why do the words on the page often feel wrong? The post Dialogue, Part One appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk No self-publishing lesson this week. I haven’t abandoned you, but I am having issues. I should be back on top of the column next week! The post Self-Publishing Lessons Errata: No Post Today appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk The traditional wisdom on reviews is: reviews sell books. And it's true, conditionally. So let’s think about this a moment. The post Self-Publishing Lessons 9: About Reviews, Part 1 appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk "Lay versus Lie." Written at the request of one of my favorite people, I’ve decided to occasionally address common grammatical snags. The post Grammar Snags: Lay Versus Lie appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk After this column on Thesis and Theme, you may be ready to attempt developmental editing for yourself. Just make sure you think deeply about theses first. The post Self-Publishing Lessons Part 8: Thesis and Theme appeared first on Callie Press.

Callie Press - The Queen of Smutpunk More on developmental self-editing: Flow and Outlining. Self-publishing lessons, part 7 by Callie Press The post Self-Publishing Lessons Part 7: Flow and Outlining appeared first on Callie Press.

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Dear Reader:Ok, first my name: Moctezuma. Why LXIX? Well, the “famous” Moctezuma is actually Moctezuma II. He’s the one that let Hernan Cortez into the Nahuatl city of Tenochtitlan and inadvertently caused the fall of the Aztec Empire. I come way later and with erotic smutpunk in my splattering blood. So I am installment number […]

To all True Believers,There have been a few SMUTPUNK books out in 2015 and 2016 so let me give you a few links if you don't mind. Callie PressTonguing Tromp: (Alpha Billionaire, Cuckold, Topical, Political, 2016 Presidential Election, Erotic, Romance, Domination, Current Events)Hot Wife Lyssa: Bundle #1Me Under Glass: Hot Wife Lyssa's Confessions #5The book […]

This week's sex tip is one of the great taboos. Getting tongue on your ass is a spectacular thing, but I suggest that a little maintenance and cleanliness can help get things rolling in the ass eating department. Hey, fellas, here are some manscaping tips.