I made this sorcerer subclass in my spare time, just for fun. Since its mechanics are a bit different from usual, I fear it might be unbalanced, therefore I seek your advice to correct the issues and improve it. Please don't be afraid to criticize honestly.

Nemesis: Why does the fey have to be evil? If you are an Evil alignment then is plenty of reason why a good fey would hunt you. Leave it at Fey and Elementals and just let the DM figure it out.
Sensing the presence - How does this work? Do you sense it, or do you need to focus to get the sense? Does it take an action in combat? Is it precise enough to be able to find them in combat and hit without disadvantage?

Release Mark - having this cause a level of exhaustion neuters this subclass to the point of being almost unplayable to be honest. To use any ability from this subclass (before level 18) you need to take exhaustion. The abilities, just aren't strong enough to warrant this kind of negative. If you like the exhaustion mechanism, you need to make the abilities more powerful. Alternately, you can have a variable DC saving throw that increases as you use the release mark ability more often in a day. Failing the saving throw gives a level of exhaustion, but succeeding makes it so you don't get one.

Hipster Dixit

2018-12-08, 07:28 AM

First of all, thank you for your reply.

Looks like it's an image from Tyranny Portraits Pack

It seems that it comes from Tyranny, indeed... thank you :)

Nemesis: Why does the fey have to be evil? If you are an Evil alignment then is plenty of reason why a good fey would hunt you. Leave it at Fey and Elementals and just let the DM figure it out.

In mind mind, the concept is a character perpetually chased down by an evil presence that seeks to torment him/her/it in the worst possible ways. But you are right, no need to reduce the player's options. I also added the Dragon type, and separated Fey and Elementals.

Sensing the presence - How does this work? Do you sense it, or do you need to focus to get the sense? Does it take an action in combat? Is it precise enough to be able to find them in combat and hit without disadvantage?

The ability is always active, think of it as a "sixth sense" that is supposed to make you really scared as you know you are being hunted. It does not provide any bonus. I tried to clarify it a bit, hopefully it is more understandable now.

Release Mark - having this cause a level of exhaustion neuters this subclass to the point of being almost unplayable to be honest. To use any ability from this subclass (before level 18) you need to take exhaustion. The abilities, just aren't strong enough to warrant this kind of negative. If you like the exhaustion mechanism, you need to make the abilities more powerful. Alternately, you can have a variable DC saving throw that increases as you use the release mark ability more often in a day. Failing the saving throw gives a level of exhaustion, but succeeding makes it so you don't get one.

Alright, so you have a point here. What about:

Allowing to use Release Mark once per long rest, without drawbacks, from level 1.
Slightly buff all Release Mark options.
Change the level 18th feature to heal 1 level of exhaustion when you complete a short rest.

I already included the changes in the file. Is it better now?

Amnoriath

2018-12-08, 10:46 AM

First of all, thank you for your reply.

It seems that it comes from Tyranny, indeed... thank you :)

In mind mind, the concept is a character perpetually chased down by an evil presence that seeks to torment him/her/it in the worst possible ways. But you are right, no need to reduce the player's options. I also added the Dragon type, and separated Fey and Elementals.

The ability is always active, think of it as a "sixth sense" that is supposed to make you really scared as you know you are being hunted. It does not provide any bonus. I tried to clarify it a bit, hopefully it is more understandable now.

Alright, so you have a point here. What about:

Allowing to use Release Mark once per long rest, without drawbacks, from level 1.
Slightly buff all Release Mark options.
Change the level 18th feature to heal 1 level of exhaustion when you complete a short rest.

I already included the changes in the file. Is it better now?
Except you are still left with only being able to do one thing a day with a couple of ribbons that help and harm you until level 18. On top of that marks like this in most stories usually mean you are harbinger of their doom...etc none of the abilities as of now evoke that at all.

Hipster Dixit

2018-12-19, 10:43 AM

So, I completely redesigned the subclass, both flavor and mechanical-wise, based on the feedback I received. The exertion mechanic is no more based on exhaustion, but on hp loss. Features are revamped, too. Hopefully it is better now. Let me know what you think.

The Cats

2018-12-19, 12:56 PM

So, I completely redesigned the subclass, both flavor and mechanical-wise, based on the feedback I received. The exertion mechanic is no more based on exhaustion, but on hp loss. Features are revamped, too. Hopefully it is better now. Let me know what you think.

Very, very cool. I like it a lot. Granted I would only ever use it for a one-shot or burner character since, I mean, your class features are going to kill you. Not even like "It's risky! You could die!" Just straight up your class features are for sure gonna kill you, they're actively trying to kill you, and stop you from rezzing. Part of why it's a cool idea but yeah, this is not for ongoing campaigns.

Castiel1

2018-12-26, 05:22 PM

I think that I like it a lot. It's got some very nice abilities, slightly more powerful than a standard sorcerer subclass, but made slightly weaker by the self-damage drawback, making overall balanced.

I do feel like the durable feat is going to be necessary for anyone playing this class, as short rests will be very necessary to keep up those ever-dropping hit points; because while you can't heal from Sacrifice damage, that lowered hp maximum is going to make it vital to recover from damage dealt by enemies. You could trying putting in some little bonus to short rests, minor enough that it won't make the subclass too powerful, but good enough that you won't be forced to take durable. For instance, they could gain an ability at 1st or 6th level that says, "whenever you roll hit dice to recover hit points over a short rest, your constitution is treated as being two higher". This ability does stack with durable, so as to not punish players for taking it, but gives the curse bearer just enough bonus to short rest healing the s/he isn't forced to take durable.

And again: I really, really like this subclass.

Amnoriath

2018-12-26, 10:44 PM

You have captured the flavor much better and is over all much more playable, however having an ability that could easily kill you right away when you get it that only allows to percieve creatures is a bad ability.

Hipster Dixit

2018-12-27, 02:08 PM

Thank you all for the praise, I really appreciate it. I am aware this subclass is not for everyone; however, it is the kind of character I would personally like to play if I were in a campaign. Balancing it seems quite difficult due to its design, but with your help I feel I reached a fine stage of its development :)

You could trying putting in some little bonus to short rests, minor enough that it won't make the subclass too powerful, but good enough that you won't be forced to take durable. For instance, they could gain an ability at 1st or 6th level that says, "whenever you roll hit dice to recover hit points over a short rest, your constitution is treated as being two higher". This ability does stack with durable, so as to not punish players for taking it, but gives the curse bearer just enough bonus to short rest healing the s/he isn't forced to take durable.

Well, why not. I added this bit as 1st-level feature.

having an ability that could easily kill you right away when you get it that only allows to percieve creatures is a bad ability.

You are probably right. I added to possibility, at level 1, to cast Inflict Wounds at a target spending some sorcerer points while the ability is active. Useless at level 1st, of course, but hopefully players will not spend much time at the lowest level. Also can cast Phantasmal Killer for 3 sorcerer points while the ability is active, at level 9th. Maybe these added offensive option can improve the feature. Let me know what you think.

Castiel1

2018-12-28, 12:20 AM

I added this bit as 1st-level feature.

Thanks! I'm really glad to have been a help.

My mind is currently full of characters I want to play, but in some future campaign, if I find a character that fits the bill... could I ask my DM about playing this subclass?

Hipster Dixit

2018-12-28, 02:41 AM

Thanks! I'm really glad to have been a help.

My mind is currently full of characters I want to play, but in some future campaign, if I find a character that fits the bill... could I ask my DM about playing this subclass?

Please, do it. Nothing more satisfying for a homebrewer than to see its work being used.