Damn. We'd heard we were living in a world where women strive to be on top! And yet. Missionary beat Cowgirl in yesterday's game. And that wasn't the only surprise.

Of-the-people dessert Ice cream beat elite treat Truffles. It was close — 55 to 44. (Not as close as Missionary vs. Cowgirl, which was 50.42% to 49.58%. As commenter Kaylie Bee wrote, "I can't believe cowgirl lost. You lazy bitches!") And in a twist, adult indulgence Dark Chocolate won over childhood favorite Fudge. No time to cry about what could have been. We have to press on… We're days from the Final Four!