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This site contains variations on a joke designed to offend, told with explicit language, sex, violence and disturbing imagery to see which teller can top the other. The Aristocrats Joke is intended for readers 18 years and older. If you are underage or faint of heart, leave now.

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

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The father starts to decribe the act by saying "First I come out on stage with my naked daughter in my arms. Then my wife comes out naked carrying a unicycle,only it doesn`t have a seat just a post where the seat would normally be attached." The mother says "I take our daughter from her father`s arms and stick The unicycle up her ass." The daughter explains how she starts peddling around in a circle while her mother shits on the floor. "I start going faster and faster running over mother`s shit. The shit starts to come off the wheel of my uniclycle, flying all over the stage and even on the first few rows of the audience." "That`s right" the father says. "Then I start to fuck my wife in the ass when my son comes out on stage with our dog". Then the son says "I start to make our dog`s dick hard by sucking on it. When it`s nice and big I let him fuck me up my ass." The daughter continues "I get off my cycle and start to deepthroat the post I just had up my butt" The son says."Me and the dog get behind my sister and I begin to fuck her cunt while the dog is still in my ass. Sisters tight cunt starts to make wet, squishy pussy farts." He grins at his sister while duplicating the noise with the palms of his hands. The father says "Yes, she does have a tight little cunt."
The son continues to say "Soon I start to climax and the dog does too. We hump and hump harder and harder until the dog blasts cum in my ass and I into my sister!" The mother says " I then get on back and let my son`s asshole drip into my mouth. Then my daugher spills cum into my mouth." The father adds "My wife gargles the cum and shoots it in and out between her teeth. When the cum is the right consistancy she starts to blow cum bubbles out her mouth." "Then the rest of us and the dog start chasing the cum bubbles all over the place, catching the bubbles in our mouths while they drift down." Says the daughter.
"When all the bubbles are gone, says the father, My wife and daughter start to lick each others cunts in a 69 while my son fuck his mother`s ass and I my daughters." Interested,the agent askes "
what`s the dog doing now?" They dog is licking my sons shit off his dick" Says the father. The mother says "Soon we all start start moaning, humping and climax with a huge orgasm at the same time." Then says the father "We all piss on the floor mixing shit,jizz, pussyjuice and urine together which we lick up, cleaning every speck. When it`s all clean we stand up, hold hands, smile and take a bow".

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"