Australia goes on the attack now through Digaditch, good ball for Sonofabitch...Youcantski...Icanski..Noyoucantski now...nice passki to Whocanski..Gotanitch..LITTLE CHIPOVICH OVER THE TOPOVICH..FUKOVYUBITCH GOALOVICH, 1 NOTHING AUSTRALIA, FUKOVYUBITCH THE SCORER, AND THAT'S STUNNED THIS ENGLAND SIDE.

Hecantski, does well, now Hecanski, Socansheski, Wecanallski, big run HAS A SHOTSKI...GOALSKI, TWO NILSKI AUSTRALIA, ENGLAND CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

Lostmyhousekey now, Whatabitch, good ballovich, Noicantski now, Gotabadstitch, could be risky. This looks dangerous, Betternotski, HEDIDSKI, And that's gonna be a penalty, referee pointing to the spotski, England players are not happy about that.

Penalty for the Socceroos to be taken by Thewickedwitch, makes no mistakovich, straight into the back of the netski, 3 nothing Australia.

Gotanitch, wide ball for the Australian substitute Smith, and I hope I pronounced that correctly. Smith on for the injured Sonofabitch, who's gone off with a stitch after a bit of a grim situation earlier, took a nasty knockovich. Phil Youresky now, the Australian captain, this looks promising..CENTRE KICKSKI, THE KEEPER'S COME OUT OF HIS BOX, FUKOVYUBITCH, IT'S A GOAL, THAT'S HIS SECOND. Australia four nilski up, England in deep ****ski...

(Some of the Twelfth Man and Manly supporter Billy Bermingham's finest work imo.)