Welcome...

About Me

is an unapologetic, bleeding-heart liberal who writes about everything from politics to private parts. A TV-writer in a former life, her credits include "Big Spender" for Animal Planet,and "A Child Too Many," "Cradle of Conspiracy" & "Deceived By Trust," for Lifetime

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Russian spies were in the news this week. Looks to me like “The Spy Who Came In From the Cold,” were the spies that got left out in the cold – war, that is. Were they stuck in a time warp? Did they just not get the memo?

What the hell were these secrets they were going to transmit? One of them was a real estate agent, for God’s sake! Like the whole world doesn’t know our housing market tanked. If Russia was hoping for technology secrets I suppose, "My new Mac has been the buy of the year... Love it!" written by one of them on her Facebook page might qualify.

Apparently, the FBI has been tracking these people since the 90s. So this is what they were busy doing when Saudi terrorists were taking 747 flying lessons in the U.S. with emphasis on take-offs.

Good job, guys. I know I feel safer.

###

Something’s fishy…

Wasilla, Alaska, the town that unleashed Sarah Palin on the world, now has another fine offering for us -- Smoked Salmon Flavored Vodka. Yum.

The master scientist of this concoction explains, “I was trying to think of something Alaskan. What's more Alaskan than smoked salmon? It was one of those epiphanies, I suppose.”

An epiphany… Yeah, they seem to get a lot of those up there. Wonder if they’ve invited the Russians over to try it yet.

The current formula took 48 tries to perfect, “Definitely the first few times we had our heave bucket close by, but once we got it down it was fun and games after that.”

You betcha.

###

Is it me…?

Or doesn’t a wax figure of Kim Kardashian seem redundant?

###

Last week it was nude rugby…

This week a New Zealand drunk driver, trapped after overturning his car, cracked open another can of beer while he waited for emergency crews to rescue him. In his defense, his lawyer said that when the guy found he couldn’t open the doors, "he had nothing else to do at that point, so he had another beer."

And really, why wouldn’t you? I mean, if there was ever a time you needed a drink it would be after rolling your car.

When asked by police how much he had consumed, the driver replied: "Plenty, I've been drinking for four days straight."

You really can’t make this shit up.

###

Happy 4th of July? Not if you’re a homeless veteran…

This week, in addition to telling 3.1 million jobless Americans to go fuck themselves, Republicans defeated the “Homeless Women Veterans and Homeless Veterans With Children Act” which would have provided funding for programs to help these brave men and women who return from war and, through no fault of their own, find themselves and their children on the street.

With an estimated 107,000 homeless veterans, this is pretty low, even for Republicans. Apparently it’s okay to give huge tax breaks to CEOs who send American jobs overseas, but not to help out-of-work Americans and homeless veterans.

And these are the fine folks who call themselves the party of “Family Values.”

###

Finally, from my own backyard, so to speak...

Here in the Santa Ynez Valley, a popular wine-tasting destination and a place I’m blessed to call home, a local vintner, Kalyra Winery, hired the Santa Barbara Zoo’s pair of Asian elephants to create the labels for their newest red and white wines.

In this video, Sujatha and Little Mac used their trunk skills to create the new labels with a variety of strokes. Kalyra Wines will also honor the “artists” involved, by donating some of the proceeds to the zoo.

Russian spies were in the news this week. Looks to me like “The Spy Who Came In From the Cold,” were the spies that got left out in the cold – war, that is. Were they stuck in a time warp? Did they just not get the memo?

What the hell were these secrets they were going to transmit? One of them was a real estate agent, for God’s sake! Like the whole world doesn’t know our housing market tanked. If Russia was hoping for technology secrets I suppose, "My new Mac has been the buy of the year... Love it!" written by one of them on her Facebook page might qualify.

Apparently, the FBI has been tracking these people since the 90s. So this is what they were busy doing when Saudi terrorists were taking 747 flying lessons in the U.S. with emphasis on take-offs.

Good job, guys. I know I feel safer.

###

Something’s fishy…

Wasilla, Alaska, the town that unleashed Sarah Palin on the world, now has another fine offering for us -- Smoked Salmon Flavored Vodka. Yum.

The master scientist of this concoction explains, “I was trying to think of something Alaskan. What's more Alaskan than smoked salmon? It was one of those epiphanies, I suppose.”

An epiphany… Yeah, they seem to get a lot of those up there. Wonder if they’ve invited the Russians over to try it yet.

The current formula took 48 tries to perfect, “Definitely the first few times we had our heave bucket close by, but once we got it down it was fun and games after that.”

You betcha.

###

Is it me…?

Or doesn’t a wax figure of Kim Kardashian seem redundant?

###

Last week it was nude rugby…

This week a New Zealand drunk driver, trapped after overturning his car, cracked open another can of beer while he waited for emergency crews to rescue him. In his defense, his lawyer said that when the guy found he couldn’t open the doors, "he had nothing else to do at that point, so he had another beer."

And really, why wouldn’t you? I mean, if there was ever a time you needed a drink it would be after rolling your car.

When asked by police how much he had consumed, the driver replied: "Plenty, I've been drinking for four days straight."

You really can’t make this shit up.

###

Happy 4th of July? Not if you’re a homeless veteran…

This week, in addition to telling 3.1 million jobless Americans to go fuck themselves, Republicans defeated the “Homeless Women Veterans and Homeless Veterans With Children Act” which would have provided funding for programs to help these brave men and women who return from war and, through no fault of their own, find themselves and their children on the street.

With an estimated 107,000 homeless veterans, this is pretty low, even for Republicans. Apparently it’s okay to give huge tax breaks to CEOs who send American jobs overseas, but not to help out-of-work Americans and homeless veterans.

And these are the fine folks who call themselves the party of “Family Values.”

###

Finally, from my own backyard, so to speak...

Here in the Santa Ynez Valley, a popular wine-tasting destination and a place I’m blessed to call home, a local vintner, Kalyra Winery, hired the Santa Barbara Zoo’s pair of Asian elephants to create the labels for their newest red and white wines.

In this video, Sujatha and Little Mac used their trunk skills to create the new labels with a variety of strokes. Kalyra Wines will also honor the “artists” involved, by donating some of the proceeds to the zoo.