Literate Ape is a literary digital 'zine and a dumping place for the random musings of a small shrewdness of diverse apes who managed to learn to read and write and use computers.

ABOUT THE APES IN CHARGE

Don Hall — co-editor

Don Hall is a freelance events consultant, founder of Literate Ape and author of four books including Belief is a Sledgehammer, Like a Burning Moth With No Idea How He Caught on Fire, and Strippers, Guns, and the Holocaust Museum.

David Himmel — co-editor

David Himmel is the author of the books A Camp Story and the forthcoming The Last DJ. An award-winning journalist, he is a contributor to POLITICO and is the former editor in chief of Chicago Health magazine.

Donald J. Trump New Book Idea

Penguin Random House Books, Conference Room, New York City

Attendance: Ike, Betty, Stan, Bernard

Wednesday, January 2, 2019 8:30am

Ike - Happy 2019, Everyone. Welcome back to work. Everyone have a good New Year’s Eve?

Betty – I drank so much, I don’t remember it.

Stan – If only there was a way to extend that blackout to all of 2018.

Bernard – Glad to see 2018 gone but can’t say 2019 looks any better. This could be a “hold my beer” year.

Betty – I don’t know what that means.

Bernard – It means hold my beer. I have the jitters and might spill it.

Stan – This doesn’t seem very optimistic.

Ike – Exactly why we are here. I have an idea that could 1) make us some money, 2) capitalize on the popularity of Donald Trump and interest in his book The Art of the Deal, and 3) help people feel more positive about life.

Betty – Wow. I don’t think all those three goals fit in the same room, let alone the same sentence.

Stan – I also don’t think we will be able to link Trump’s popularity with “buying a book”.

Betty – (doing the best Morgan Freeman) “Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without my consent.”

Ike – (doing the worst Morgan Freeman) – “If you can dream it, you can pay for it and have people sign non-disclosure agreements.” Excellent work, people. I think we can get You’re Hired! Inspirational Quotes by Donald J. Trump ready and proofed in just a few months. This is going to make us a huge amount of cash.