One man’s journey from disillusion and despair to finding meaning through love for himself and his people.

I recently told a friend I had embraced the Alt Right. He’s not a judgmental guy, but he was troubled. The first thing he said was that hatred isn’t good for my soul. He looked puzzled when I asked what hate he was talking about. All he knew of the Alt Right was that we are “violent extremists” who want to segregate ourselves from society. I felt this was the perfect opportunity to drop some red pills.

I grew up in North Jersey to boomer Italian-American school teacher parents. My area was extremely diverse. As I got older, it got darker. I also started hearing a lot of languages that I didn’t understand. In high school, we moved to a White town. My parents didn’t like the fact that I was a wigger. When I was young, Dre and Snoop were huge, then Pac, then Nas and Biggie. I knew all the lyrics, dressed and acted like them as much as I could. Looking back, I suffered from my parents’ boomeritis. My father should have cold-cocked me back into reality, but they let me find myself, I guess.

When we moved to this “White” town, I stuck out like sore thumb. The Whites were, in fact, Asians and Jews. Neither of those groups thought a chubby goy who thought he was Black was anything special. Needless to say high school sucked. I was picked on and acted out. Fights, suspensions, drugs, booze, and any sexual activity I could get. Through all this I maintained good grades so I didn’t get hassled.

My guidance counselor thought I should do pre-law in college because I was “one of the most argumentative people” she’d ever seen. But I wanted to be a chef. That was my dream since I first cooked with my dad. I took a year off and then enrolled in a six month cooking program. I graduated with honors. I got a job and worked my ass off. After 3-4 years of minimal raises and minimal time off I was forced to face it. I was never going to make serious money unless I owned a place because of the Mexicans. They worked for nothing and didn’t complain. I got half my pay taxed and half cash. They got cash. So in my mid twenties I jumped ship and got a construction job with a friend. Same deal. I saw guys fired constantly for milking the clock or taking a day off and instantly be replaced by a Juan or Luis. My wages were low and they were taxed. The Mexicans walked off with cash.

I got very disillusioned with life. I fell back into drugs and alcohol. I worked shit jobs just to be able to go out and drink all night. The only positive thing I did was go to the gym. At 30, one night, I decided I wasn’t going to have much of a life. I was living at home. I couldn’t keep a job or a healthy relationship (now I know that wasn’t all my fault) and decided it was enough. I took a bunch of pills and said my goodbyes. Somehow, someone got in touch with my sister who found me asleep and drooling. When I woke up in the hospital, it was probably the most disappointed I’ve ever been.

I couldn’t believe I was alive. And worst of all, I finally got the courage to go through with it and still failed. And my family was devastated. After my stint in a psych ward followed up six months later by an inpatient alcohol detox, it was decided I should go on disability to regroup. So there I was. My purpose in life was now to take care of my father who retired and immediately became sick and handicapped. I felt victimized by society. I hated every non-English person I saw. Anytime I did anything for my disability I had to deal with illiterate Black women. If I went anywhere for my SSDI I was surrounded by Blacks.

Whites know about affirmative action and all the other disadvantages we have, but we’re really not supposed to talk about it. If I mentioned it to my boomer parents they say there’s nothing you can do about, don’t think like that. My parents literally can’t go back to their old neighborhoods because they’re not safe. And somehow we’re blamed for it.

The day I heard Trumps Mexican rapists speech I fell in love! Yes! Finally someone has the balls to say it! I always liked Trump from his days of going after Rosie O’Donnell. Then I heard the roasting of Trump when he said Muslims in Jersey were celebrating 9/11. I remember seeing the National Guard being called to Paterson, NJ because Palestinians were celebrating and the city was about to genocide them. It happened. What else could the media be lying about? I always knew they were biased but now it’s outright lies. I campaigned as hard as I could for Trump. I was never politically active but I was now. Funny, Trump wasn’t my red pill. The media after he won was.

I stayed up to watch the election. When Trump won I put on all the libtard stations to see them crying. I heard things like “doomsday plan” and “whitelash.” Then the protesting and social media comments. Some people in America really hate White people. I didn’t believe it at first but damn, the thought of a White man who spoke bluntly drove people insane. And no one criticized them. Only us. I did some internet searching and stumbled on Stormfront. Reading some of the posts on there was music to my ears. There’s people that feel like me! And they’ve been around for awhile. I took some advice and read My Awakening by Dr. David Duke.

I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Not only wasn’t he the horrible demon he was always made to be, he was saying stuff that I felt and he was defending people that looked like me. Why is this so bad? I started doing more reading about communism and the war on Whites. Listening to podcasts. Then Charlottesville. Our rights and freedoms really were being taken by a Jewish global cabal, hell bent on our destruction. The ZOG had taken everything from me. I hated myself, myself and my heritage. I tried to be something I wasn’t and was never going to attain. 30 years of brainwashing stripped me of everything. The easiest enemy to defeat is the one that fights for nothing.

Slowly but surely, my spirit has returned. I laugh my ass off listening to the Shoah and Hatehouse. I learned to love myself more than ever. I’m trying to get more involved behind the scenes. I got back in the gym and I’m eating healthier. I thought I’d die alone but I’m working on meeting a woman who shares my values. My only fear is being doxxed because of my family. I don’t want them hassled.

I wrote this story for two reasons. For any White man or woman struggling out there, embrace yourself and your people. There’s no greater feeling. And the next time you hear this is a movement of hate, remember this story. Pride and love of your people and yourself is the best gift you can ever attain! Be strong.