Some foods are noted for their ability to change the colour and/or odour of your urine. A good Chardonnay, for example can give a pleasant smell like... well, Chardonnay. Beetroot gives a nice pink colour, Artichokes a slightly strange smell, and so on...This restaurant would serve beautifully prepared
combinations of those foods which would give you (and maybe your friends - if you use those communal urinals in men's loos) a pleasant reminder of your meal the following morning.

(Anyone who wants to write a book promoting this as the next big fad diet, feel free).

Jackfruit [see link] is supposed to make your farts smell nice and sweet. Do farts count? Maybe you could break the menu up into 'fart', 'sweat', 'urine', 'turd', et cetera, not very appetising, but kind of fun.

Revel In Your Bodily Functions! Our gourmet chefs will prepare a complete symphony for the senses, giving complex aesthetic satisfaction to all aspects of the digestive process. From eating a delicious variety of courses, carefully timed in concert with delicately balanced liqueurs, our customers will enjoy the full spectrum of gastronomical delights. Excretory art unfolds hours after the meal - a delightful blend of sight, sound, and smell.

Cohen. Or else it would have to be Coën, I think.Is Sparki the Farrelly bros.' PR company? Are the constant references to the Farrelly bros. actually a backwards way of advertising their films? Does anyone care who they are? Is it as obvious to everyone else besides me that they're quite crap and just in the same vein as other black humour/nonsensical/cult-ish film-makers but in a different league, i.e. crap? Could I be in a more foul mood today?

Lewisgirl: Are you *quite* sure " Bros.' " is acceptable punctuation? The Farrelly Brothers are mainly distinguishable from the wider world of grossness by being quite nice really. If you know a sweeter romantic comedy than There's Something About Mary, then that probably non-existent film is probably totally lacking in jokes and you'd never get a guy to watch it with you anyway. And the bit in Kingpin where he saws the horse's hooves off just kills me. Probably doesn't do much for the horse, either. Uh, anyway...

<blockquote>
Fowler recommends putting a "." only after abbreviations that do not include the last letter of the word they're abbreviating, e.g., "Capt." for captain but "Cpl" for corporal. In some English- speaking countries, many people follow this rule, but not in the U.S., where "Mr." and "Dr." prevail.
</blockquote>

And you surely can't put a "'" after a ".". That's just nasty. Don't you want " Bros' "? Or does that bring back too many unpleasant memories of your late-80s musical tastes?

Defecation is indeed functional in the sense that we need to get waste material out of our bodies. What I would question is whether the mechanism we possess is really the optimal. The conjunction of sex organs and excretory apertures is somewhat unfortunate and one would guess unhygenic. How much nicer if the shitty and the pissy holes were combined and the intercoursy one was well apart. Put the nasty ones in your feet or behind your knees or somewhere nearer ground level. Alternatively, be like snails and have sex organs on your head.

I read somewhere that the smell that urine takes on after asparagus consumption is only detectable by some people. Others are genetically predisposed to NOT be able to detect the chemical that causes the stink.

I'm looking for a link to back it up but having some issues with coming up with the proper search string - patience[Later, much later. Sorry I never did find the right search string. In fact I never even looked - Awww, but angel did]

I once had a bit of solid waste that was almost as spartan, blanche white as the porcelain into which it was placed (and I have a witness!). If this restaurant could figure out what food that was, I'd never eat at Taco Bell again.

absterge-- unless you had recently drunk barium to get x-rayed, white poo is not really a good thing. It indicates some trouble with the liver, gallbladder, or common bile duct, preventing the release of bilirubin (the brown coloring). If this was just for one day and you didn't feel sick, then... hm... maybe an unusually comfortable temporary gallstone.

That new Incredible Hulk green Hershey's chocolate syrup is yummy. But your dumps will turn dark green. For days. I've even had two-done dumps at the beginning and end of the chocolate digestion process. Very entertaining and a pleasant change from your usual dump color. Whatever that may be, except if your usual dump color is dark green, then don't bother with the Hulk chocolate syrup.

You could serve a before-dinner B-complex vitamin to help with digestion and get the urine flowing a nice bright green before the night is over.
Also, isn't there a chemical compound (methylene blue?) which is colorless in water but turns bright blue in urea?

Methylene blue is not colorless in anything - it's blue in water, blue in milkshakes (thus it's used as an additive in stomach-tube formula so you can tell if any of the stuff is coming out the wrong pipe), and extremely blue when it spills all over a careless health-care worker. Unlike some other pigments it's excreted unchanged, so if someone managed to feed you some without you noticing (say in your coffee or other dark-colored beverage), you'll get a surprise when you pee. A timeless source of joy for medical students.