I am a 17 year-old male. Please please please let me know what you think
about penis size. Does size matter? You can laugh at me, make jokes, anything,
but please let us know your thoughts on this. Please.

-- Shain

Dear Shain,

Breakup Mom, didn't you leave something on the
stove?

Still, I'm going to play it safe and quote someone
else on this one. In this month's issue of P.O.V., Sheri De Borchgrave writes:
"Yes, size does matter. Now get over it. Most guys are just right, i.e.
average. They measure in at a proud five or six inches with a 1.25 inch
diameter. But remember, a poorly handled weapon [note: BG does not endorse this
word choice] of any size is useless. Size does matter, but so does good
technique... Your mission: go forth and find the right fit, and stop obsessing
about the size of your manhood. Men have hatched this absurd collective
paranoia. Remember: in the end, what [women, or whomever your partners] really
care about is not how big you are, but how big your desire is to satisfy
us."

BG's finesse: it's not that your partner will be
unsatisfied if you are small ("small"). It's that your partner will
be unsatisfied if you act small.

This is information you will use when you are ready,
in like, four years, right, Shain?