2004/ 09-05

i had the privelege of walking to church this morning. i loved to be able to walk in God’s presence… hear His creation. the birds were singing, the crickets chirping, and the occassional car rolling by. it really is a gorgeous day.

i realized today how much i truly miss Calvary. it’s a wonderful church… not only do i miss the atmosphere and the people, the relationships, but more so i miss the teaching. and the worship. how God-based and God-centered it is. it’s tough to find a church that focused on God… not that the ones i’ve visited so far aren’t focused on God… it’s just… different. i miss my church.

you know, i was thinking today, about how i am not always in control. i mean, obviously God is in control of everything… but then there’s the side where God allows us to make our own decisions, so in essence, i am in control of many things. God allows me to make my own decisions, and then if He disagrees with what I want in life… if it’s not what He wants… He will close the door to that opportunity or path. yet… there are just some things that i have absolutely no control over. like this one thing… i wish i could have control. but i’m not supposed to have control. God has ultimate control… and then he is next in line. but i don’t think he is ready… not anywhere near ready. he thinks he is… but i think God knows better. i’m not ready. i wish i was… I wish often that i had control and could make some of these decisions, but i guess this is another thing that only God determines… only God can show up and work. i pray that He is my focus.

lol, sidenote… i was walking back from Colonial Pizza the other night… it was Joel’s birthday, so we took him out… a whole bunch of us. and on the way back, we saw a squirrel running across the wire. well, Justin hates squirrels, so he took off at a faster pace while the rest of us sort of stopped, and some of the guys took off their shoes and started chucking them at the squirrel! it was probably one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen… they almost knocked him off. just the image of those shoes flying into the air… and then landing in the street… haha.

oh… lol, we also saw a golf cart. (oh, but it said “Police” on the back of it) haha… wow.
“you know you’re living in the middle of a cornfield when…”