Hang N Therehttp://hangnthere.com
Products for Busy MomsMon, 09 Apr 2018 22:59:52 +0000en-UShourly1https://i1.wp.com/hangnthere.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/cropped-Logo.png?fit=32%2C32Hang N Therehttp://hangnthere.com
3232109634235How to Talk to Your Disorganized Childhttp://hangnthere.com/talk-disorganized-child/
http://hangnthere.com/talk-disorganized-child/#respondSun, 29 Oct 2017 09:51:13 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=5708 Written by Dr. Patricia Gage If you want to help your disorganized child, you may want to begin a conversation with something like this: “I know I’ve been on your case a lot about being more organized. You’re getting older, and I want to see you more independent in getting your work done on Continue Reading

If you want to help your disorganized child, you may want to begin a conversation with something like this:

“I know I’ve been on your case a lot about being more organized. You’re getting older, and I want to see you more independent in getting your work done on your own and make it less stressful."

"I don’t want to nag you, and I certainly don’t want us to argue about it. Let’s get this year started on a good note by setting up an organization system that works for you. Do you have some ideas?"

"How about we start by having a meeting on Sunday nights to clean out and organize your binders?"

Refrain from being judgmental! Don’t start by saying, “This is such a mess!” That will put your child on the defensive, and you are certainly not going to help your child’s willingness to work with you and develop better organizational skills.

Dr. Pat

Yes, I admit it. I do get exasperated at times with my kids during study time!

Take a peek at Dr. Pat's Teen and Parenting School Guides. After heeding her simple suggestions, my kids have discovered what system works best for them, and I have even become more organized (and more composed) too:)

Making small but positive steps now will only help them greatly in the future.

]]>http://hangnthere.com/talk-disorganized-child/feed/05708Mini Lessons on the Brainhttp://hangnthere.com/mini-lesson-brain/
http://hangnthere.com/mini-lesson-brain/#respondSun, 22 Oct 2017 14:44:31 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=5698 Written by Dr. Patricia Gage, PhD The FRONTAL LOBE is the brain's decision-making spot. Damage to the brain's frontal lobe is known to impair one's ability to think and make choices. And now scientists say they've pinpointed the different parts of this brain region that preside over reasoning, self-control, and decision-making. The frontal lobe is often referred to as the CEO (Chief Continue Reading

Damage to the brain's frontal lobe is known to impair one's ability to think and make choices. And now scientists say they've pinpointed the different parts of this brain region that preside over reasoning, self-control, and decision-making.

The frontal lobe is often referred to as the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of the brain.

The LIMBIC SYSTEM, a system located in the brain's medial temporal lobe, i.e. near the center of the brain, directs many bodily functions. It includes the hippocampus and the amygdala.

The HIPPOCAMPUS is involved in the storage of long-term memory, which includes all past knowledge and experiences.

The AMYGDALA is an almond-shaped section of nervous tissue located in the temporal (side) lobe of the brain. ... It is responsible for emotions, survival instincts, and memory.

Emotions associated with FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE, such as anger or fear, are activated in the amygdala. While the amygdala “reacts” to a threat by trying to turn on our anger or fear, the neural structures, such as the prefrontal cortex, attempt to switch the emotions off!

The BRAIN STEM controls the flow of messages between the brain and the rest of the body, and it also controls basic bodily functions, such as breathing, swallowing, heart rate, blood pressure, and consciousness.

The upper part of the brain stem is called the PONS. It is the messenger center of the brain, and without it, the brain would not be able to send (transmit) or receive “orders.” We can think of this part of brain stem as the “Chief Operations Officer”.

The pons is also involved in the sleep state, such as REM.

The lower portion of the brain stem is called the MEDULLA. This part is responsible for involuntary functions, such as breathing and blood pressure regulation. This makes the medulla very crucial.

Dr. Pat

I've seen kids who have just suffered a bump on their head on the playground from slipping off a slide, running into a pole, etc. Often, they cry a bit and then, get back up to play again!

Make sure you clip on and secure the helmet appropriately to avoid boos boos like this.

Unfortunately, a few may cry, become emotional, and make little sense. They may even repeat questions or statements. This relates to injury to the structures that Dr. Pat writes about. As a parent, your instincts kick in, and you know there is something wrong. This is the time to ensure their ABC's are stable (Airway, Breathing & Circulation), keep them calm & safe, and find help quickly.These are signs of a concussion.

]]>http://hangnthere.com/mini-lesson-brain/feed/05698Take Homework in Stridehttp://hangnthere.com/take-homework-stride/
http://hangnthere.com/take-homework-stride/#respondMon, 14 Aug 2017 18:15:52 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=5680Are you dreading homework? As we begin another school year, parents and kids everywhere are getting anxious about how they’re going to balance homework with family time, sports, and all the other after school activities. Keep in mind that research on homework has been met with mixed results. There is very little evidence that homework benefits kids in the early Continue Reading

As we begin another school year, parents and kids everywhere are getting anxious about how they’re going to balance homework with family time, sports, and all the other after school activities.

Keep in mind that research on homework has been met with mixed results.

There is very little evidence that homework benefits kids in the early grades (under 3rd grade), but there is some evidence that high schoolers' performance improves on standardized tests.

Further, there is also a correlation (albeit, a small one) between more homework and better science and math grades.

A parents' "homework" of reading to a young child and an older child reading for 30 minutes have likewise been proven to be much beneficial.

If you find that your child is buried in homework, serve as his/her advocate and refer to the “10-minute rule.”

The 10-minute rule recommends that schools assign no more than 10 minutes of homework per grade level. For example, your 1st grader should not be doing more than 10 minutes of homework, or your 9th grader should not be doing more than 90 minutes.

Homework should also be a reinforcement of what was taught during the day, and your child should be able to do it without help. If you choose to go through school again, there is no reason for the child to listen and pay attention in class if he/she knows that mom or dad or the tutor will bail him out and do the homework with him!

Our best wishes to all our families for a successful and enjoyable 2017-2018 school year.

]]>http://hangnthere.com/take-homework-stride/feed/05680How to Handle More than just Boo-Boo’shttp://hangnthere.com/handle-just-boo-boos/
http://hangnthere.com/handle-just-boo-boos/#respondWed, 19 Oct 2016 16:32:32 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=5262Raising a child brings occasional boo boo’s, but what if an emergency arises? Falling off a bike, being stung by a bee, or hit by a soccer ball… Are you prepared? To arm parents with medical know-how, we at Hang In There have written several first aid guides to address commonly encountered medical issues. Read and review regularly. Post it Continue Reading

]]>Raising a child brings occasional boo boo’s, but what if an emergency arises? Falling off a bike, being stung by a bee, or hit by a soccer ball… Are you prepared?

To arm parents with medical know-how, we at Hang In There have written several first aid guides to address commonly encountered medical issues. Read and review regularly. Post it on your bulletin board, or add these guides to your emergency kit in the car and at home. Bring them on your travels.

Customize your first aid kit! If your child has severe allergies, add the Asthma & Anaphylaxis Deck. Make sure to fill out the information cards, so that you have your child’s medical history readily available. This will also help grandparents or babysitters who may need this information, especially when you have more than one child!

Create a gift for your child’s teachers, grandparents, college student, babysitters, and coach.

]]>http://hangnthere.com/handle-just-boo-boos/feed/05262Hit with a Recommendation for Grade Retention? Consider the Alternativeshttp://hangnthere.com/hit-recommendation-grade-retention-consider-alternatives/
http://hangnthere.com/hit-recommendation-grade-retention-consider-alternatives/#respondThu, 14 Jul 2016 14:55:39 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=4979For students who are experiencing academic, behavioral or social/emotional difficulties at school, neither repeating the same instruction another year nor moving to the next grade provides them with the support they need to improve academically and socially. Grade retention in our country has increased in the past 25 years despite the fact that research failed to support any benefits. At Continue Reading

]]>For students who are experiencing academic, behavioral or social/emotional difficulties at school, neither repeating the same instruction another year nor moving to the next grade provides them with the support they need to improve academically and socially. Grade retention in our country has increased in the past 25 years despite the fact that research failed to support any benefits. At least 2 million U.S. students are held back every year. Schools around our country have adopted early grade retention as an intervention strategy for children demonstrating academic or behavioral problems. However, longitudinal studies have given us plenty of evidence of negative effects of Kindergarten retention on academic learning during the repeated year. While temporary gains are noted during the year the student is retained, that achievement gains decline two years to three years after retention. Eventually, these students perform worse than students that were not retained.

Besides poor reading skills, students consider rate retention as:

One of the most stressful life events, similar to a loss of a loved one, such as a parent

They are likely to experience poor peer interactions

Come to dislike school

Demonstrate behavior problems

Demonstrate poor self concept

More likely to drop out of school

The National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) encourages schools to consider a wide array of well-researched, evidence-based, effective and responsive strategies instead of retention or social promotion.

Strategies that can be implemented besides retention include:

Specialized instruction with sequential programs such as The Wilson Reading System, or The Read Naturally Program should be considered.

Equitable opportunities for students from diverse backgrounds should be provided to learn in school and out of school.

Frequent progress monitoring and evaluation of interventions used is essential so that informed decisions regarding a student’s needs are made.

Universal screening for academic, behavioral and social/emotional domains should also be considered

Make sure that the instruction provided is responsive to student’ needs, and that it promotes higher order thinking skills.

Provide high quality, focused instruction, with frequent feedback to students on their performance.

Provide more intensive, one-on-one instruction when necessary, if progress is not made

Provide professional development for teachers to understand student’s learning needs, and opportunities for them to observe effective teaching practices for students’ specific learning challenges.

Teach students learning strategies to make them more active learners and help them learn how to learn and how to use what they have learned, to solve problems and be successful.

The University of Kansas, Center for Research and Learning provides a well-designed scope and sequence of strategy instruction divided into three strands, categories, of skills. For example, if reading is the problem you want the child to build his/her phonemic awareness , letter sound identification, comprehend what they’re reading, acquire vocabulary, understand the structure of text, use visual imagery, be able to summarize what he reads in his own words, and draw inferences.

Opportunities for at risk students through extended day/year programs should be made available for all students.

Provide high quality preschool programs, particularly in low income communities so children have the readiness skills needed when they enter kindergarten. Studies showed that students who learn prior to school entrance, demonstrate lower rates of grade retention, special education placement and dropout.

Retention is an expensive intervention with questionable benefits and potential harm to the child. When retention is necessary it should be for an intensive and highly individualized intervention plan, and frequent monitoring for the maximum benefit to the student. As a parent you are in the driver’s seat to get all the documented information and reasoning from your child’s school, and ultimately make the final decision for your child’s best interest.

What can you, as a parent, do to prevent retention?

As parents you need to supervise your child’s homework in the early grades and it’s important to work with teachers to address the needs of your child to complete homework, particularly if assignments include content that your child does not understand. This helps teachers provide more appropriate instruction, and learn more about your child’s learning style.

Make certain that your child, gets plenty of sleep, eats a nutritious breakfast, comes to school on time, and receives appropriate medical care when necessary.

If your child misses a lot of school for health issues, physical or emotional, or your family has had frequent moves, divorce, abuse, loss of job, etc make sure that information is taken into consideration when retention is considered.

As a parent you are to serve as your child’s advocate, closely monitor his/her progress and make sure the teacher knows his/her strengths and areas of weakness that should be targeted for intervention. Stay involved in your children’s education and don’t hesitate to ask what intervention efforts were implemented and how effectiveness has been measured. You are entitled to that date.

If you feel that the school cannot provide the intensity of services that you child need research community resources available, such as tutoring programs, mental health programs that promote the social emotional adjustment of children which in turn can be effective in facilitating their academic performance as well

]]>http://hangnthere.com/hit-recommendation-grade-retention-consider-alternatives/feed/04979Is Constant Worrying Taking a Heavy Toll on Your Teen?http://hangnthere.com/constant-worrying-taking-heavy-toll-teen/
http://hangnthere.com/constant-worrying-taking-heavy-toll-teen/#respondThu, 26 May 2016 14:00:15 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=4905This is the time of year in schools where kids are having a hard time with excessive worrying. They feel overburdened with assignments, projects, preparing and taking exams. While some worrying can spur them into taking their schoolwork more seriously, it can also keep them up at night, make them more restless and tense, deplete their emotional energy and raise Continue Reading

]]>This is the time of year in schools where kids are having a hard time with excessive worrying. They feel overburdened with assignments, projects, preparing and taking exams. While some worrying can spur them into taking their schoolwork more seriously, it can also keep them up at night, make them more restless and tense, deplete their emotional energy and raise their anxiety. It certainly affects their daily living and learning. They get totally preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios to the point where their beliefs fuel their anxious thoughts.

In spite of calming strategies that we teach them such as:

practicing slow deep breaths

think positive thoughts

use distractions such as counting backwards from 30 to 1

use visual imagery

This mental habit is hard to change. It becomes even more challenging to break the habit of worrying if the child had success and believes that worrying helps him to be successful and may even protect him to be more responsible. They believe worrying keeps him from forgetting something. Trying to stop thinking and worrying about something often makes the anxious thoughts stronger and even more persistent.

In our quest to find ways to help kids in our practices, we came across some interesting suggestions from a book, The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You by Robert L. Leahy, PhD. He suggests that trying to stop anxious thoughts doesn’t work. Instead accept your feelings as part of being human, and experience them without becoming overwhelmed. He proposes the idea of “postponing worrying “. Rather then trying to stop the anxious thought, you give your self permission to actually have it, but you put it off to thinking about it later. You begin by creating a “worry period”, a time and place for worrying. It should be the same time everyday and in the same place but not before you go to sleep. Around 5:00 is a good time to consider, for about 20 minutes. During this worry period you’re allowed to worry about what is on your mind, however, the rest of the day has to remain worry free. As things happen to you in the course of the day you can write them in a little book or save it on your phone. During the worry period go over your list and if some of the thoughts are not bothering you as much cut your worry time shorter. This approach can actually change you to believe that you can control it, and help you from constantly dwelling on it, you don’t have to try so hard to suppress it.

]]>http://hangnthere.com/constant-worrying-taking-heavy-toll-teen/feed/04905Does Trauma Impact Children’s Development?http://hangnthere.com/trauma-impacts-childrens-development/
http://hangnthere.com/trauma-impacts-childrens-development/#respondThu, 19 May 2016 13:00:23 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=4902In light of the recent extreme events of terrorism in France and Brussels and strife around the world, our children have been exposed through the media to violence, loss and extreme suffering of people of all ages. Seeing a mass of people fleeting their countries to avoid violence and suppression, while others deal with their own parents’ deployment in war, Continue Reading

]]>In light of the recent extreme events of terrorism in France and Brussels and strife around the world, our children have been exposed through the media to violence, loss and extreme suffering of people of all ages. Seeing a mass of people fleeting their countries to avoid violence and suppression, while others deal with their own parents’ deployment in war, has impacted children's own sense of safety and security. While we want to build our children’s resilience to be able to handle such traumatic events, constant exposure to violence and stress can affect their focus and their ability to learn, and certainly their overall emotional well being.

While we can’t shelter our children from such traumatic events, we can provide them with a sense of safety and security. By listening and helping them share their thoughts, label their feelings, engage in positive events, and connect with people that can provide them with reassurance, can make a significant impact on them. Our schools need to have trained educators and counselors to be able to identify children in stress and provide the appropriate counseling and monitoring they need to experience success in school. Remember that children look to adults for guidance on how to react in such traumatic events, and how to manage their feelings. The higher the number of occurrences and the intensity of the traumatic events that children get exposed to, the more severe the impact will be on their development.

The National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), suggests the following interventions for parents and adults working with children to help them feel supported and safe:

All feelings are O.K, but how you handle them matters. Let children know that all feelings are normal when a traumatic experience occurs, even anger, and you are there to help them express them appropriately.

You must model calm. Take some slow deep breaths, and stay composed. Try to avoid looking frightened and anxious since children take their cues under such experiences from their parents.

Remind them that very capable, experienced, and trustworthy adults are in charge, to insure their safety.

Tell children the truth and make your explanations short and to the point. If they need more information they’ll be back with more questions. Reassure them that if this type of an event occurred the chances that it will personally affect them, is low.

Avoid stereotyping people of different countries, races, religious beliefs that may be involved in the event. Stay positive, be a good listener and encourage your children to talk about it and look for ways they can be of help. Consider writing cards to survivors, thank you notes to medical professionals who volunteered their time, collect items that people may need, etc. Let them brainstorm with you ways they can help.

Try to maintain normal routine, but be mindful that at such times children may have difficulty focusing their attention, sleeping continuously, may not eat well, or be restless and overactive. It’s important to monitor the child’s coping patterns and if they don’t improve, seek the help of a mental health/medical provider.

Don’t ignore your own feelings and stress level. Take the time to talk with friends, family members and counselors that can help you. If you feeling sad or angry it’s perfectly acceptable to let your children know how you feel, but take the time to express your belief that things will get better. Take the time to eat well, exercise, get plenty of sleep and stay connected with those you care about it.

]]>http://hangnthere.com/trauma-impacts-childrens-development/feed/04902Behavior Plans Work!http://hangnthere.com/behavior-plans-work/
http://hangnthere.com/behavior-plans-work/#respondMon, 02 May 2016 17:45:21 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=4895These are the key points: Consistency AND clearly stated rules and expectations are the keys to positive discipline. We recommend: Pay attention and notice the positive behaviors, and reward your child often. WHY? Children need consistent positive feedback to learn and practice appropriate behavior. The focus needs to be on specific behaviors you WANT them to demonstrate, and NOT on the Continue Reading

The focus needs to be on specific behaviors you WANT them to demonstrate, and NOT on the behavior you want them to stop.

Here is why Behavior Charts are helpful:

Behavior charts are a fun and interactive way to encourage and motivate positive behavior.

Kids really like earning stickers or points, and you’ll find they are willing to work for a special reward at the end of the week.

Helpful Rules:

Make the chart together and create the menu of things he can select to work for each week.

Don’t expect quick results.

Start with 80% compliance. If he/she earns 80% of the stickers or check marks for the week, he should earn his reward. When he consistently accomplishes that for two to three weeks move on to 85% compliance.

]]>http://hangnthere.com/behavior-plans-work/feed/04895Review of Parenting Tip Cards by Jenn’s Blah Blah Bloghttp://hangnthere.com/review-parenting-tip-cards-jenns-blah-blah-blog/
http://hangnthere.com/review-parenting-tip-cards-jenns-blah-blah-blog/#respondThu, 28 Apr 2016 17:19:02 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=4893We truly appreciate Jenn from Jenn's Blah Blah Blog writing this review: Children do not come with instructions. I know I can always use all the help I can get when it comes to parenting my child. This is why we love “Hang In There”, Parenting-tips-on-the-go! These super awesome informational card series, were created by two moms (a psychologist & Continue Reading

Children do not come with instructions. I know I can always use all the help I can get when it comes to parenting my child. This is why we love “Hang In There”, Parenting-tips-on-the-go! These super awesome informational card series, were created by two moms (a psychologist & a pediatrician) to help make our parenting lives easier. Each card set has their own helpful signs, common strategies, coping skills, motivational tips, and much, much more.

The tips are written and edited by Hang In There, LLC, the school psychologist and pediatrician team. All the mini booklets contain colorful cards presented in a simple, concise format for ease. The cards are in full-color with bright and cheerful illustrations, and they are double-sided, UV coated, measuring 3.5 x 5 inches. I love that each card set also comes with a metal binder ring, and a super cute character or figure related carabiner for easy carrying. The carabiner allows you to hang your cards just about anywhere like backpacks, diaper bags, wall hooks and more. There are several different card series to choose from like: bottle feeding, breast feeding, potty training, temper tantrums and many others. Hang In There, LLC also has a variety of baby shower gifts and more that you are sure to love!

]]>http://hangnthere.com/review-parenting-tip-cards-jenns-blah-blah-blog/feed/04893Talking to Children About Deathhttp://hangnthere.com/talking-children-death-2/
http://hangnthere.com/talking-children-death-2/#respondThu, 07 Apr 2016 12:00:11 +0000http://hangnthere.com/?p=4786Most of us find it difficult to talk to our children about death, but unfortunately they will experience it sometime in their lives. Death is inescapable and we must let our children know that it’s okay to talk about it and it’s part of the life cycle. If we are open, honest and comfortable with our own feelings and show Continue Reading

]]>Most of us find it difficult to talk to our children about death, but unfortunately they will experience it sometime in their lives. Death is inescapable and we must let our children know that it’s okay to talk about it and it’s part of the life cycle. If we are open, honest and comfortable with our own feelings and show interest and respect in what they have to say, we can make it easier for them.

Begin by asking open-ended questions to solicit their thoughts and feelings. Instead of worrying about what to say, try to create opportunities for your bereaved child to talk to you about death. When answering your children’s questions, make sure you understand what they are asking by referring questions back to them. This can help clarify their specific concerns, and can help you figure out what’s bothering them. For example, if a child asks what will happen to grandpa now that he has died? You might say, “What do you think will happen to grandpa?” If he/she says something about going to heaven to be with grandma, you may respond, “That’s a beautiful thought”, avoid detailed explanations of how the body will be buried in the ground and then eventually decompose and become part of a new cycle in nature where new plantings will begin to grow. Yes, such detail would be an overload for any child. Their questions should help guide the discussion. When they’re ready for more detail, they’ll come back to you with more questions.

Where to Begin?

Begin by exploring your own assumptions and beliefs about life and death. Has anyone close to you died? What did their death mean to you? How did people help you? Recognize the varying religious beliefs held by many people and remember that just as kids wonder about life they also wonder about death. They should be taught that death is part of life, just as being born, eating, drinking, sleeping, laughing are part of life. A number of books are available to further assist you to stimulate discussion. Saying Goodbye by Jim & Joan Boulden is a great book for elementary school grades. Draw It Out is a well-done therapeutic activity book for elementary-aged children who are experiencing grief and loss. It helps them ask questions they may be afraid to ask, label and express feelings that can often be difficult for them. Discuss with them what caused the death. For example, if it was cancer you can clarify that it was a serious illness, and the doctors did everything they could. Reassure them that although we all get sick once in a while, we usually get better. Children may also begin to think that this can happen to you too. They may need reassurance that you don’t expect to die for long time, and that you are here to take good care of them, as long as they need you. For older children you may want to explain that cancer is a disease in which the body’s cells become abnormal, they grow and reproduce without control. While there are many forms of cancer that are cured, unfortunately this type of cancer spread too fast to many parts of the body and the deceased could not be cured. This type of illness is not like the one kids often experience like a flu, a cold or a sore throat. Reassure them that they had nothing to do in causing the illness, it is not contagious and they certainly could not stop it in any way.

Avoid taking any specific religious stand on how you explain death. You can share your faith as faith, not fact. The facts about death are actually rather limited. We know the body ceases to function and the person is no longer able to breath, eat, drink, sleep or do any of the things that people who are living can do. Use examples children understand from nature or their everyday life, such as the seasons, trees without leaves. Explain to them that we can visit the remains of the deceased, but the life of the person, often called the soul or the spirit, is no longer present. Some believe that after our death, we will be reunited in heaven with God. Avoid saying that God took her away or the deceased is looking upon us because that can cause more fear and worry if they do something wrong and the deceased and God is looking. This can also foster resentment why God had to take their loved one from them. If a child is told that his mother was ready to die and be with God because she was hurting so bad, he might feel abandoned and become angry with his mother for choosing to leave him. Often adults tell adolescents to “be strong” for their parent. This can leave the adolescent with no appropriate outlet for their intense feelings of grief. In addition, you may want to avoid confusing kids with expressions such as, “rest in peace” or “grandpa went to sleep”, as they may become afraid of going to bed.

Consider the child’s developmental level

Children’s understanding of death goes through a series of stages. Preschoolers may view death as reversible or temporary. After all they see cartoons on TV get crushed flat on the ground, and then get back up and continue to run. Between the age of 5 and 9 they begin to realize that death is final and that all living things eventually die. However, they still cannot relate to death as a personal event or that it could happen to them. By the age of 10 they fully understand that death is irreversible and they can die too, like all living things.

We know from research that grief has no relation to “understanding”, but rather is a feeling response. It’s been said that when a child is able to love, then a child can grieve. The collection of grief emotions can include numbness, shock, fear, guilt, longing, disorganization, inattention, sadness, shame, panic, anger and despair. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross simplified understanding the grief process by categorizing these emotions into five stages.

The five stages of grief are:

Denial. Not believing what is taking place, “this can’t be happening to me.”

Anger. A deep-seated rage over what is happening. The anger is often displaced in all directions, friends, family or God, “why me.”

Bargaining. An attempt to exchange something we are willing to give up, for something we want to keep. It is usually an attempt to postpone or fix up the inevitable, “If only…” or “what if.”

Depression. A feeling of being unable to cope, helplessness, life seems overwhelming, usually is experienced when the reality of the situation sets in, “what’s the use.” A lot of regrets come to mind, “I should of” or “I could of”.

Acceptance. Learning to live with change. It is a time when the past is no longer pondered and the future begins to be hopeful again, “yes this happened, I’m not happy about it but life goes on.”

While it’s important to move through each of the five stages of grief, they don’t have to be experienced in any order and over a specific period of time. Kids in particular do not have the maturity to follow any particular pattern, and they all develop at their own individual rate. It can take years and all we can do is remind ourselves that the process is very personal, and it requires our patience and caring for one another.