I am a sinner
I've said the wrong things
to the wrong people
at the wrong times,
and then I've murdered them all
and eaten their bodies.
I'm not aware of what any of the laws are
and therefore don't follow any of them.
I have lunch with Satan every Tuesday
Not only does he already own my soul,
but I owe him three others.
I have mixed every kind of drug,
with every kind of alcohol
and then driven the streets of Los Angeles under the influence
aiming my car directly at
newlywed couples,
infants,
and frail old people.
When this doesn't work,
I usually set myself on fire,
run into day care centers
and hug all the children.
I only date married women
or people under fifteen,
or women of any age
who will take it in the ass
all the while screaming
"Rock my hiney hard, Satan Boy."
All my clothing is made out of dead animal fur,
all my furniture is constructed out of rain-forest tree
wood
(except for my entertainment center which is made out of
elephant tusks)
and the only foods I eat are
veal,
dolphin,
meat from endangered species,
and head cheese.
For creative output, I write poetry,
but only misogynistic verse
or poems about my penis.
I believe the world revolves around my penis,
and so does it.
These are my sins.
This is my confession.
Please,
forgive me.

By Barbara Hambly, from her book _Travelling With The Dead_: written by
a character Ysidro, who happens to be a vampire dating back to Elizabethan
times, the whole novel being set in the Victorian period.

Weary of dark, I asked to see the day,
And Jesus, jesting, to a mountain's height
Upbore me, and spread before my sight
The Kingdoms of earth in morning's bright array.
I saw a man betray two dames who wept;
Saw a mother cripple her child with love;
Saw priests flay Jews, their piety to prove,
And brother sell his brother while he slept.
A man gave up his dreams, a child to save.
A woman bound a beggar's bleeding sores.
A youth pursued war's summons to his grave
While th'king for whom he died gave gold to whores.
And all died frightened, weeping, and in pain.
I left the mount, and sought the dark again.