tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-219113902015-07-30T10:57:43.112+01:00Love and LibertyAlex Wilcock, also known as Richardandalex or Alexandrichard, is a former Liberal Democrat policymaker and always a convinced Liberal, a <em>Doctor Who</em> fan and married to Richard Flowers. You can probably tell.Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.comBlogger736125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-43188991657240939942015-06-03T11:46:00.003+01:002015-06-03T11:48:07.671+01:00My Embarrassing Charles Kennedy Fan Story<br />There’s one sort-of political anecdote that I’ve never written about until now. It involves a total cringe from my point of view, but it’s about someone who was an excited fan of Charles Kennedy, so this seems like the right time to tell it (if I ever should). <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2015/06/charles-kennedy.html"target= "_blank">I gave some of my own memories of Charles yesterday</a>, and concluded by mentioning that he was a huge David Bowie fan… So I don’t know whether Charles would have appreciated this one. But here goes. <br /><br />Back in the late ’80s, I was an awkward teenager coming out with the help of Gay Youth Manchester (as was), and some of the friends I made there are still close today. One of them had got in touch with me again in the early 2000s, and after he’d come round to our place to watch <i>Doctor Who</i> with a few mates, he invited us to a party at his and his partner’s place. <br /><br />I don’t really do socialising, still less glamorous London night-life. But it seemed my friend had done quite well for himself, as his rather nice Brick Lane flat was buzzing with rather a lot of rather glamorous and fashionable people. And me.<br /><br />So I did what I usually do if I awkwardly find myself pressed into a party: hover by the buffet inhaling all the food, and hold even more firmly to Richard than to the sausage rolls. <br /><br />Eventually, though, someone else came up to the buffet, said “Excuse me” to the nervous man hogging it, and politely struck up a bit more of a conversation, and he was reassuringly dowdy, so I came out of my shell a bit. And as we chatted, the inevitable “And what do you do?” sort of question came up.<br /><br />At the time – as usual – my health was a bit dodgy, in the early part of its long slide ever since, so I wasn’t working. But back then, I was still up to being more active in the Lib Dems, so I tentatively started off on some of my political involvement, and that I was on a party’s policy committee. With encouraging noises from the other guest, I expanded on that to say <i>which</i> party, and that I was then Vice-Chair of the Federal Policy Committee, where Charles was the Chair and I’d sometimes take over when he was at other meetings.<br /><br />And this guy was impressed. <i>Really</i> impressed. It turned out he was a huge admirer of Charles Kennedy, and thrilled that I knew him, as he went on and on. Oh, just a bit, I said, self-deprecating in the way that only someone terribly flattered by reflected glory and unable to see the mortifying fall looming in front of him could be. <blockquote>“And what do you do?”</blockquote>I asked, from my unexpected height of social superiority. <blockquote>“Oh – I play bass in a band called Radiohead.”</blockquote><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-34035619667329371992015-06-02T19:34:00.001+01:002015-06-08T21:18:14.881+01:00Charles Kennedy <br />I heard at 7am the news that Charles Kennedy had died. It feels so terribly unfair. He had so many gifts and should have had so much more to give with them. And just as Liberal Democrats are starting to recover from the grief of the election, and find something to celebrate in such unlooked-for growth in our numbers (from 45,000 members to 60,000 since polling day), our family is plunged into the most appalling shared grief of all. My heart goes out to Charles’ immediate family too. I knew Charles as Leader, much less since, but I’ll miss him. <br /><br />Like many Lib Dems, I started the day by pouring out some of my grief on Twitter and a comment on Lib Dem Voice – then <a href="http://alexwilcock.tumblr.com/post/120513018178/charles-kennedy-ill-miss-you-awful-news-to" target="_blank">a short piece on my Tumblr</a>, which is where, essentially, I write and publish things quickly, before there’s time for insecurity to stop me writing. But I’ve decided that Charles deserves a proper thank you and memorial from me, too, which in my typical way means much the same I said earlier, but at significantly greater length.<br /><br /><br /><h6>A Great Communicator (but not in every way) </h6><br />You’ll have read a great many tributes and obituaries. Like all Leaders, he had his good and his bad points – perhaps more of both than most. Charles’ greatest strength was that he came across as genuine, and decent, and more like an ordinary bloke than other politicians: today British politics has to make do with Nigel Farage, his anti-matter duplicate. Getting to know Charles over half a dozen years or so, as I’ll come to, he always struck me as the same in private as he was in public, and in private, too, he rarely let people see his bad days. <br /><br />The one thing I’ll say that contradicts most of the pieces I’ve seen about Charles today is that I don’t think he was a great orator. He was a great communicator – probably the best the Liberal Democrats have had, though I reckon we’ve been blessed with three. But his greatest gift was in speaking directly, conversationally, not reading lines from a platform. I don’t mean he couldn’t deliver a speech – he could, and I saw many of them. <a href="http://bit.ly/LibDemsBelieve37" target="_blank">Some stuck in my head</a> for his principles as a call to action; <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/12/are-you-thinking-what-im-thinking.html" target="_blank">some inspired me</a> by turning those principles into a brave challenge. But platform oratory wasn’t his best platform, and if you want to read a review of one of his speeches with a favourable view of the content and a not entirely complimentary look at some of his vocal tics, <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/09/return-of-leaders.html" target="_blank">I wrote one quite some years ago and still think I was right</a>. That doesn’t matter.<br /><br />I think it may well have been on introducing Charles for the first of the three speeches I mentioned above that a Lib Dem MP said something rather indiscreet that stuck in my head as much as the speech itself. Charles was relatively new in the job of Leader, and there was a wide assumption (not necessarily a fact) that he’d been more the choice of the armchair members than the activists – but also, by this stage, a widespread feeling of pleasant surprise that he’d made himself both a more explicitly Liberal leader and more distanced from the Labour Party than anyone had expected before his election (I remember one of his initial backers telling me sourly that I was probably more pleased with his victorious candidate than he was, and happily agreeing). So when Charles was introduced for his own Leader’s Speech with “I didn’t vote for him – but I’m ever so glad he won!” there was both a huge laugh and a sense from many, myself included, that we would have said the same if we’d been daring enough.<br /><br /><br /><h6>My Memories of Charles (and the Reverse Aesop)</h6><br />I got to know Charles mainly on the Lib Dem Federal Policy Committee. I was an elected member throughout his Leadership, and for four years I was a Vice-Chair to Charles as Chair. He was the same in private party meetings as he was on the telly: a big change from Paddy Ashdown’s fight to the death on every issue – bringing people together, but passionate on the issues he really cared about. The converse was also true; the chance of my taking over the Chair for an hour when Charles suddenly discovered he had another urgent Commons appointment rose in direct proportion to the time FPC members spent droning on multiplied by the lack of interest he had in the subject. His slipping out rarely helped meetings to finish on time, as he was far more skilled in finding kindly ways to shut people up when they were blathering on than I ever was.<br /><br />I used to joke at the time that in choosing Charles to succeed Paddy the party had done a reverse Aesop – calling for King Log after King Stork. That was a little unfair (to Charles, at least). He may not have wanted pitched battles on every line of policy, but I remember him usually making two different sorts of crucial contribution across the board. One was in spotting when policy was getting either too impenetrable or too up itself (not that he’d use those terms). In particular, he had a keen eye for the Lib Dem habit of setting up National Institutes for Well-Meaning Interference. Nobody else on the FPC was ever so good at puncturing pompous proposals, rolling his eyes at yet another new bureaucracy: “No more capital letters, please!” Part of that was what you might call Charles ‘remembering common sense’. But there was another element in there. Whether it was being a Highlander, an outsider, his temperament or his chosen ideology, he quietly disliked people pushing other people around. <br /><br /><br /><h6>Growing Into a Liberal Leader </h6><br />I didn’t know Charles well enough to be able to say whether it was out of that instinct, or his political judgement as Leader, or it simply seeming the obvious thing to do, but his other ‘big picture’ contribution was more blatantly ideological – under Charles, the Liberal Democrats started using the words “Liberal” and “Liberalism” in the headlines, not just in the small print. The Liberal Democrats never lost our Liberalism; when during the election I was searching for inspiring Liberal quotes, short and long, for my Liberal Democrats Believe Tumblr (which, like so many things, I must get back to), one of the most inspiring speeches and probably the one I quoted at greatest length was <a href="http://bit.ly/LibDemsBelieve23" target="_blank">one of Paddy’s Leader’s speeches</a>, which is as brilliant an exploration of philosophical Liberalism as you could hope to find. But you’d rarely find the word on its own on a policy paper front page or in a shorthand description of the party.<br /><br />I suspect that a lot of this comes down to simple history: Paddy had been a Liberal MP, and as the Liberal Democrats’ Leader for our first decade, he was careful not to ‘unpick the merger’. And so was everyone else who’d gone through that shambles of a time. Under Charles, the party was more at ease with itself, with the passage of time and the passage of members. Quietly, we had a Leader who would say of us, “We’re a Liberal party,” without anyone being under the impression he was expelling former Social Democrats; policy papers on what we stood for started proclaiming “<i>It’s About Freedom</i>” or “<i>Freedom in a Liberal Society</i>”, rather than the party’s early years of “<i>Our Different Vision</i>”, which I remember reading cover to cover and still being unable to say quite what it was.<br /><br />I joined the new party immediately after the merger in 1988, because I’d been a teenage supporter but didn’t see why there were two separate parties and waited until it was official to sign up. For me and my generation of Lib Dem Youth and Students, it was natural to be Liberal Democrats, happy with a party born out of a merger, not wanting to go back to the structures and strifes of a party we’d never been members of, but of course we were ideologically Liberals too. Older members found it more difficult to separate the history and the philosophy, so it was something a lot of Lib Dems were very quiet about during the ’90s. It was obvious to me that Bob Maclennan – a former Leader of the SDP – was by far our most Liberal Home Affairs Spokesperson of the time, and similarly, when Bob was Party President in the mid-’90s he was the most senior figure to speak of our Liberalism, unabashed, one of many reasons I became an unlikely fan and friend. No-one could accuse him of digging up old rivalries or a Liberal Party takeover, and the same was true when Charles, another former Social Democrat, was elected Leader. He was able to talk about what we all stood for without it being divisive. Under Charles’ Leadership, the Lib Dems started to grow our own distinct philosophical rivalries, today spoken of more along Social Liberal and Economic Liberal lines, though neither (with a few exceptions!) as sharp as between our two predecessor parties. Most Lib Dems are both Social and Economic Liberals, and those who come down much more heavily on one side than the other are just as likely to have come from the old SDP as the old Liberal Party – but, like the vast majority of Liberal Democrat members, are most likely not to have been a member of either party that voted to merge into the Lib Dems nearly three decades ago. <br /><br />So every time a ‘political correspondent’ talks about the ‘fault lines in the Lib Dems’ being based on the Liberal Party vs the SDP, they are almost without exception talking bollocks – just as it would have been absurd to characterise every internal debate of the pre-1988 Liberal Party in terms of Whigs, Radicals and Peelites who merged to create the Liberals in their turn. We are not our parents, and neither are parties. Charles, in his calm and consensual but crucial way, helped the Liberal Democrats to grow up. <br /><br /><br /><h6>Charles’ Principles and Passions</h6><br />The much less quiet decision that Charles took, after much internal debate and soul-searching, and which came to define his Leadership, was to oppose the Iraq War. It’s often falsely remembered as a populist move. It was nothing of the kind. It was a terrifying plunge into doing the right thing when nobody else would, and we were vilified for it. In the run-up to the War, there were mass marches in opposition, but not largely by natural Lib Dems, and the massed fire of the media was all against us. When the invasion began, our opinion poll support took a dive. It was only much later, when it became clear to people not that the principle of invading another country against international law was wrong – people knew that, and were gung-ho anyway – but that the Labour Party and the Republican Party had created such an appalling, bloody mess, that support swung back our way. <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/things-to-remember-about-labour-6-iraq.html" target="_blank">Remember that the Labour Party</a> and their Tory and press cheerleaders called Charles and the Lib Dems “Traitors” and much worse for not going along with their illegal war of aggression. <br /><br />If Iraq was Charles Kennedy’s defining issue by circumstance and brave decision in a hard place, perhaps his greatest passion was Europe. A committed and persuasive European, internationalist, democrat and reformer, while Liberal Democrats and many others who simply liked and agreed with him will miss Charles for too many reasons to count, over the next couple of years our loss will be a huge loss in the coming referendum. As well as the personal loss for his family and our wider Lib Dem family, both bereaved, it’s tragic to lose his voice when he’s so needed. <br /><blockquote>“I am a Highlander, a Scot, proudly British, and European. I’m proud of all four of these things, and I don’t see why I should have to choose between them or delete any of them.”</blockquote>You may well have seen today a letter from Charles replying to a voter with his judgement that, even though he’s blue, Gonzo’s a nice guy and his favourite Muppet. I can reveal that he rather liked <i>Doctor Who</i>, too, and that his favourite Doctor was always Patrick Troughton, so I’ve had the Mighty Trout’s most Liberal story on this afternoon. If you really want to celebrate one of Charles’ passions, though, put on some David Bowie to remember him by. There, he was a real fan.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.libdemvoice.org/top-of-the-blogs-the-lib-dem-golden-dozen-418-46297.html" target="_blank"><img alt="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" src="http://www.libdemvoice.org/images/golden-dozen.png" height="57" title="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" width="200" /></a></div><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-37561790893948054012015-05-14T00:37:00.001+01:002015-05-14T13:42:52.344+01:00Post-Election: Thanks, Tears, and What Year Are the Lib Dems In Now (A Clue: 2015)?<br />Only the Liberal Democrats, hardened by a hundred years of losing and buoyed by an inextinguishable hope in Liberalism, could follow an ‘extinction event’ election by gaining more than eleven thousand new members in less than a week. Welcome, all of you! You might like to look at Liberal Democrat Voice’s New Members Day (<a href= "http://www.libdemvoice.org/tag/newmembersday-libdemfightback"target= "_blank">new voices</a>, <a href= "http://www.libdemvoice.org/newmembersday-a-liberal-democrat-reading-list-45921.html"target= "_blank">recommended reading</a> and <a href= "http://www.libdemvoice.org/newmembersday-the-lib-dem-lowdown-what-you-need-to-know-about-your-party-45936.html"target= "_blank">party essentials</a>). You help remind us all that for all the talk of historical precedents, the year we’re in is 2015. But tonight I’m still looking back with a sense of history and with thanks to so many Lib Dem MPs.<br /><br />I’ve been writing my post-election thoughts throughout this week. Regular readers will be unsurprised to know that the article’s been getting longer and longer – and may well split into a series of about half a dozen. But in case I don’t have the energy to write them all, there’s something I want to make sure I say.<br /><br />I’ve read a ton of historical comparisons over the last few days – some glib, some persuasive. But while there’s much to learn from history, we do need to remember that this is 2015, not any other year, and that the way back to wilderness or revival is not predestined. On the face of it, this seems most like 1970 in our share of seats and votes – 7.5%, down to 6 MPs, a surprise Tory victory – which would ‘put us back’ to before I was born. Those losses were followed by new ideas and something of a comeback at the next general election; I hope for new ideas, too, and though ‘Let’s dig out our answers from 1970!’ doubtless has some merit, I hope most of our answers this time are going to be a bit fresher.<br /><br />Right now, I’ve been distracted from writing about what we might learn simply by how terrible it feels. I know and admire quite a few Lib Dems who’ve suddenly lost their seats. I can’t help wondering if, whatever year is the more precise statistical match, this <i>feels</i> more like the 1920s – when a much larger group of Liberal MPs with great records in government were suddenly hewn down. I remember when the Coalition was formed five years ago, one of our Peers telling me that at his first Liberal Assembly, in Llandudno in about 1956, he’d been introduced to an elderly man with an ear trumpet who had been a Liberal Minister in our government of what is now a century ago – and that he still couldn’t quite believe that now, though it had only come when he’d got that old himself, he was walking around Liberal Democrat Conference seeing new Liberal Democrat Ministers again… Even if it had to be another coalition with the Tories, which hadn’t ended so well in the 1920s. On the bright side, we come out of this one battered but surprisingly united, rather than with two rival Leaders waging war on each other. And those were the two pretty good rival Leaders. I joined the Liberal Democrats when we were founded in 1988, just after we’d had two pretty bad rival Leaders waging war on each other, and in elections the following year we crashed to 4% and won no seats at all. <br /><br />If you want two hopeful signs for the future, signs that we are now in neither the 1920s nor the 1980s, not only is our membership rocketing rather than falling through the floor after this year’s defeat, but we are also not split down the middle, which helps. The Conservatives’ mean authoritarianism will not have an easy ride. <br /><br />Around 80% of the new members in the last week are people who’ve never been Liberal Democrats before, according to the party’s membership department. On a more anecdotal level, a great many of our new Liberal Democrats I’ve seen online have been inspired more than anything else by <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiYl0otgSvc"target= "_blank">Nick Clegg’s resignation speech</a> last Friday. I’ve been a Liberal Democrat for a long time, and it inspired and moved me, too. I’d watched through the night in a sort of grim blankness, and wondered what it would take to break that numb feeling. Within a few seconds of Nick starting to speak, I was in floods of tears. Here are some of the words that meant the most to me: <br /><br /><blockquote>“It’s been a privilege, a huge privilege, an unlimited honour, to lead a party of the most resilient, courageous, and remarkable people. The Liberal Democrats are a family and I will always be extremely proud of the warmth, good grace, and good humour which our political family has shown through the ups and downs of recent years. I want to thank every member, ever campaigner, every councillor, and every parliamentarian for the commitment you have shown to our country and to our party.<br /><br />“It is simply heartbreaking to see so many friends and colleagues who have served their constituents so diligently over so many years abruptly lose their seats because of forces entirely beyond their control.<br /><br />“In 2007 after a night of disappointing election results for our party in Edinburgh, Alex Cole Hamilton said this: if his defeat was part-payment for the ending of child detention, then he accepted it with all his heart.<br /><br />“Those words revealed a selfless dignity which is very rare in politics but common amongst Liberal Democrats. If our losses today are part payment for every family that is more secure because of a job we helped to create, every person with depression who is treated with a compassion they deserve, every child who does a little better in school, every apprentice with a long and rewarding career to look forward to, every gay couple who know that their love is worth no less than anyone else’s and every pensioner with a little more freedom and dignity in retirement then I hope at least our losses can be endured with a little selfless dignity too.<br /><br />“We will never know how many lives we changed for the better because we had the courage to step up at a time of crisis. But we have done something that cannot be undone because there can be no doubt that we leave government with Britain a far stronger, fairer, greener, and more liberal country than it was five years ago.<br /><br />“Fear and grievance have won, Liberalism has lost. But it is more precious than ever and we must keep fighting for it. That is both the great challenge and the great cause that my successor will have to face. I will always give my unstinting support for all those who continue to keep the flame of British Liberalism alive.<br /><br />“Our party will come back, our party will win again, it will take patience, resilience and grit. That is what has built our party before and will rebuild it again. Thank you.”</blockquote><br />Thank you, Nick. And never-ending gratitude to Lynne, too, in particular. Many people in our party and beyond made a difference, but the unstinting efforts of Nick and Lynne above all made it possible for <a href= " http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/two-married-men-say-thank-you-to.html "target= "_blank">Richard and me to marry, after twenty years of waiting</a> through Tory and Labour Governments that made us second-class citizens. We will never forget and never regret that. And I will miss other former MPs I admire for their Liberalism, for their achievements, and in several cases for their friendship. I will keenly miss Stephen, and Stephen, and Danny, and Simon, and Julian, and too many others. <br /><br />I believe both Norman and Tim have much to recommend them as potential Leaders, but I hope it’s not too discourteous to say that one of the results that left me most distraught would have been my first choice for Leader, Jo Swinson. She so terribly nearly held on (with the lowest fall in her vote of any Lib Dem in the country, an example of the difference between someone who’s always worked hard and the bewildered ‘ultra-safe’ Labour MPs all around her who’d never had to do a day’s work for their seats and were buried under sudden avalanches). I hope she’ll be back, and that open-hearted Liberalism will rise over narrow-minded nationalism.<br /><br />Among the most damaging mass results of last Thursday – along with our extermination across the South-West – is that all our surviving MPs are now white, cis, straight men. Do not blame any of them for this. They’ll have enough to cope with. And there’s no simple answer. We had women MPs; we selected women in most of our seats where the sitting MP was standing down. We didn’t hold any of them. The Labour Party in particular will be as ruthless in attacking us for the voters’ choices as they were in pouring in resources to defeat Lynne Featherstone – choosing to let marginal Tory MPs off the hook to make sure that they cynically brought down Lib Dem women.<br /><br />I will offer ideas of what might help for the future. But for today, I simply ask you to be kind to Lib Dem MPs (and staff) who’ve lost their seats if you meet them, and to be even more kind to the eight Liberal Democrats who won. Because all of them suddenly have so much more work to do.<br /><br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-13757932799058597762015-05-10T14:24:00.002+01:002015-05-10T14:45:05.061+01:00Phoenix of Liberty<br />Does any Liberal Democrat with computer graphics skills fancy redrawing the Bird of Liberty for this week? I’ve got two ideas for you. <br /><br />On Friday <a href="http://www.libdemvoice.org/sal-brinton-libby-is-our-phoenix-45838.html"target= "_blank">Sal Brinton, President (and acting Leader) of the Liberal Democrats, told members</a>: <blockquote>“Our symbol, the Bird of Liberty, is also our phoenix. Since midnight last night to teatime today more than 650 people have joined the party on our website. The phoenix is already rising from the ashes of last night’s elections.<br />“Together we can rebuild the party that we love. Now more than ever this country needs the Liberal Democrats.”</blockquote>Since the General Election, over five thousand new members have joined the party, bringing us to more than 50,000 members. I’ll probably have quite a bit to say about our future over the next few days. <a href="http://www.libdems.org.uk/join"target= "_blank">You can join here</a> – and see <a href="http://bit.ly/LibDemsBelieve50"target= "_blank">why I believe the Liberal Democrats are needed here</a>.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SMRZz3nCDPM/VU9b6-AKPnI/AAAAAAAABHw/JTuPUi16XOo/s1600/50000%2Band%2BRising.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SMRZz3nCDPM/VU9b6-AKPnI/AAAAAAAABHw/JTuPUi16XOo/s640/50000%2Band%2BRising.png" /></a></div><br /><br />In the meantime, why not redraw the Bird of Liberty as our symbol of defiant renewal this week? Don’t its flowing wings just invite matching CGI flames in the same style? And our colours are black and gold anyway, which are perfect for a flaming symbol.<br /><br />Either the Phoenix of Liberty bursting free from the flames… <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gwtbXIFTsPg/VU9bZoA4ByI/AAAAAAAABHg/vepNgPe89GI/s1600/Phoenix%2Bof%2BLiberty%2B1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gwtbXIFTsPg/VU9bZoA4ByI/AAAAAAAABHg/vepNgPe89GI/s640/Phoenix%2Bof%2BLiberty%2B1.JPG" /></a></div><br /><br />Or, in the tradition of phoenix art, the Phoenix of Liberty (with slightly more upsoaring wings) surrounded by flame?<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vkO2wI3WwZY/VU9bjuqMW3I/AAAAAAAABHo/Gqtm1xjEV58/s1600/Phoenix%2Bof%2BLiberty%2B2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vkO2wI3WwZY/VU9bjuqMW3I/AAAAAAAABHo/Gqtm1xjEV58/s640/Phoenix%2Bof%2BLiberty%2B2.JPG" /></a></div><br /><br />Come on, somebody, have a go.<br /><br /><br />In other news, Wil Wilshere of <a href="http://politicsandrants.tumblr.com/"target= "_blank">politicsandrants Tumblr</a> and a few more in Liberal Youth have started a Thunderclap called #OperationPhoenix, set for next Friday. <a href="http://thndr.it/1JWur2u"target= "_blank">You can read more about it here</a>. <br /><br /><br />Keep the flame alive.<br /><br /><br /><b>Update:</b> Or there are <a href="https://twitter.com/mattdowneympd/status/597113344944922624"target= "_blank">these, which are prettier</a>.<br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-65150539245754482522015-05-06T22:20:00.001+01:002015-05-06T22:53:13.462+01:00Why Vote Liberal Democrat?<br />My answer to that and three questions behind it – what have we done so far? What do we want to do next? And, most importantly for me, what values inspire us to do it? <br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/PNIZFbA-Fy0" width="459"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><b>Freedom and Opportunity for Everyone</b></div><br /><br />This is the sort of thing I do if it’s the day before an election, I’m on my way home, my head is buzzing with politics and I come upon an unsuspecting park.<br /><br />I may be making it up on the spot this time, but you know it’s in my heart too (and a quickie because I’m too knackered to write what I’d like to).<br /><br /><b>Vote Liberal Democrat!</b><br /><br /><br />If you’d like more reasons, then there’s also… <br /><ul><li><a href= "http://libdemsbelieve.tumblr.com/"target= "_blank">Liberal Democrats Believe</a> – fifty statements of Liberal faith and counting<br /></ul></li> <ul><li>Richard and me on <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/two-married-men-say-thank-you-to.html"target= "_blank">the Lib Dem history of support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people</a><br /></ul></li> <ul><li><a href= "http://www.libdems.org.uk/liberal-democrats-set-out-six-red-lines"target= "_blank">The six Lib Dem ‘red line’ priorities</a> that I tried to remember as I went along<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><a href= "http://www.libdems.org.uk/read-the-full-manifesto"target= "_blank">The full Liberal Democrat Manifesto</a> – <i>Stronger Economy. Fairer Society. Opportunity for Everyone. </i><br /></ul></li> <ul><li>Mark Pack’s infographics on <a href= "http://www.markpack.org.uk/files/2013/03/What-do-the-Liberal-Democrats-believe-A3-poster-March-2015.pdf "target= "_blank">what the Liberal Democrats believe</a> and <a href= "http://www.markpack.org.uk/files/2015/04/Liberal-Democrat-achievements-in-government-large-web-version-April-2015.jpg"target= "_blank">what the Liberal Democrats have achieved in government</a> <br /></ul></li> <ul><li>And one negative: <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/things-to-remember-about-labour-6-iraq.html"target= "_blank">Things To Remember About Labour</a></ul></li>Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-40055531401063799072015-04-30T18:45:00.002+01:002015-05-11T11:32:33.164+01:00Doctor Who – Thirteen Reasons To Watch #WhoOnHorror<br />The Horror Channel goes back to the very beginning of <i>Doctor Who</i> today as it starts showing forty-seven stories across the following months, beginning with the very first. So here are my idiosyncratic picks for the thirteen best stories showing (or just watch the lot, obviously). Horror’s now on both Freesat and Freeview, so everyone can watch it. <br /><br />Liberal Democrats: activate your TV recording devices of choice and bookmark this article as number 337 of things to catch up with post-election. <br /><br />Active members of other parties: sit down, put your feet up, watch Doctor Who and argue with my tendentious choices online!<br /> <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gkidqLbwY3U/VUJptXJNkJI/AAAAAAAABHM/nOgBroj8bdI/s1600/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gkidqLbwY3U/VUJptXJNkJI/AAAAAAAABHM/nOgBroj8bdI/s640/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B0.jpg" /><br /><br />Who On Horror – The Doctors</a></div><br /><br />If you’ve never watched <i>Doctor Who</i> before – just pick one, and watch one. This selection suggests which ones I most enjoy watching, but if you need something to tell you <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/so-who-is-doctor-anyway-all-you-need-to.html"target= "_blank">who is this Doctor anyway</a>, here’s one I prepared earlier.<br /><br /><a href= "http://www.horrorchannel.co.uk/doctorwho/index.php"target= "_blank">The Horror Channel has been broadcasting <i>Doctor Who</i></a> since last Easter under the banner #WhoOnHorror – initially a selection of stories from the first seven Doctors, they’ve been a ratings hit and so bought the rights to show more. It’s on every weekday in a double bill at around 10am, 2.40pm and 7.50pm, in more or less the original story order, with random movie-format stories (that is, with the cliffhangers and credits taken out) at the weekend. This is the first time their whole cycle of <i>Doctor Who</i> stories has started up again since the Horror Channel arrived on Freeview, so why not begin at the beginning?<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VcavmpnwJEs/VUJpDqKzvII/AAAAAAAABGk/j3ip2r4O3wU/s1600/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VcavmpnwJEs/VUJpDqKzvII/AAAAAAAABGk/j3ip2r4O3wU/s640/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B01.jpg" /><br /><br />Who On Horror – An Unearthly Child</a></div><br /><br /><H6>The Thirteen Best of #WhoOnHorror</H6><br />These are my choices. No doubt every other fan will disagree, so why not champion your own? You can point out (and I usually do) that every story has its faults – but I’m looking at what excites me this time. And why choose thirteen? Well, it <i>is</i> the Horror Channel…<br /><blockquote><span style="font-size: large;">1 – <b>The Deadly Assassin</b></span><br />Tom Baker versus the Master and all the Time Lords in the greatest <i>Doctor Who</i> story of them all. It’s got Gothic horror, political satire, film noir, a major reimagining of the Time Lords (and the Master)… And just when you think you know what’s going on, it changes completely into gritty surrealism.<br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> the Part One cliffhanger (you keep being told it’s coming, but still the series’ best WTF moment); it enters the Matrix (20+ years before The Matrix); one of the most bitter face-offs between the Doctor and the Master; it’s constantly inventive; it looks amazing (even if Horror’s print is a bit grubby and cuts a bit. If you enjoy it, buy the DVD).<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/02/deadly-assassin.html"target= "_blank">My (surprisingly short) review here</a>.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-39-terror-of.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> for the Master.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">2 – <b>The Curse of Fenric</b></span><br />Sylvester McCoy versus Evil From the Dawn of Time and vampires from the future. A multi-layered story intermixes the World War Two, Norse mythology, Dracula and a touch of The Arabian Nights, and contrasts the 1940s and the 1980s.<br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> a brilliant villain; what really repels vampires; the Part Three cliffhanger twist and many other twists and turns; another one fizzing with ideas.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-44.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> under water.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-33-city-of.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant line and a bit of a subtext here</a>.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-more-great-scenes.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> where the Parsons’ in trouble.<br />Yes, it has quite a few brilliant scenes. And keep that last page open, as several more I’ve written about there are coming up… <br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">3 – <b>The Talons of Weng-Chiang</b></span><br />Tom Baker versus good taste. ‘<i>Doctor Who</i> in the inner city: gangs, guns, stabbings and drugs’. But all in the Victorian era, so there were fewer complaints despite even more to offend everyone. From murders in the fog to a night at the theatre, it revels in Victorian cliché – and is probably the most utterly entertaining <i>Doctor Who</i> story of all (Russell T Davies: “It’s the best dialogue ever written”). <br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> it looks like perfect horror, but is horribly funny throughout; the Doctor does Sherlock; the Doctor’s friend Leela takes no s**t; a double-act so brilliant they now have their own long-running series, <a href= "http://www.bigfinish.com/ranges/v/jago-litefoot"target= "_blank"><i>Jago and Litefoot</i></a>; one whole episode a brilliant conjuring trick.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-more-great-scenes.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> with a comedy of manners.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">4 – <b>An Unearthly Child</b></span><br />William Hartnell – the Doctor – versus stupid humans for the very first time. Two teachers investigate a strange old man’s granddaughter… Their lives, and ours, are never the same again, as they fall into the TARDIS and into history. A brilliant beginning that starts off the series’ anti-authoritarian bent by showing how little teachers know – but at least they know slightly more than Stone Age tribespeople… <br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> the first episode might just be the greatest piece of television ever; a fantastic introduction to the TARDIS; the Doctor as an hilarious git with brilliant facets; “Have you ever thought what it’s like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? Have you? To be exiles…?”<br /><a href= "http://nexttimeteam.blogspot.co.uk/2009/01/unearthly-child.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a> (made of many one-liners). <br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-more-great-scenes.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> where the Doctor invents Columbo. <br /><b>And it’s on tonight!</b><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">5 – <b>Genesis of the Daleks</b></span><br />Tom Baker versus Davros, the Daleks and history. A superbly filmed and scored war story. Perhaps the Doctor’s sharpest moral dilemma is whether to destroy the Daleks at their birth, but this is essentially the story of Davros, a fascist with depth and intelligence, who engineers his own destruction.<br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> a completely compelling villain; the Daleks shot like tanks, as they should be; doubt as essential, and certainty essentially fascist; the big confrontation between the Doctor and Davros might be the most electric in the whole series.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/free-doctor-who-genesis-of-daleks-cd.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a> of the politics of the story (and of the CD).<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/03/doctor-who-scripts-going-cheap.html"target= "_blank">My mini-review in the context of the stories it was first broadcast with and how they all fit together here</a>.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-more-great-scenes.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> where the Daleks exterminate for the first time.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">6 – <b>The Mind Robber</b></span><br />Patrick Troughton versus some very weird s**t indeed. Funny, silly, literary, intelligent… Our heroes find themselves first in a void where they get a massive shock, then marooned in a Land of Fiction.<br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> the shocking Part One cliffhanger; the Doctor’s playfulness turning into steely determination; Jamie losing face; Zoe going all <i>The Avengers</i> (UK) against someone who might be from The Avengers (US).<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">7 – <b>The Androids of Tara</b></span><br />Tom Baker versus the wicked Count Grendel. Imagine a <i>Doctor Who</i> summer holiday, with fabulous frocks, fishing and fencing with electric swords, where the big, serious quest is dealt with in a five-minute joke. Add Peter Jeffrey as a moustache-twirlingly wicked Count, a bargained-down bribe and a dash of sex, then sit back and enjoy.<br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> it’s just about the least ‘horror’ <i>Doctor Who</i> gets; it’s sheer fun; it finishes with a proper duel. “Next time, I shall not be so lenient!”<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-33-city-of.html"target= "_blank">A brilliantly ‘romantic’ scene or two here</a> that should put you off weddings (we had it at ours).<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">8 – <b>The Caves of Androzani</b></span><br />Peter Davison versus death (and versus big business, gun-runners, the army, poison, the phantom of the opera…). A cynical desert war, noirishly twisted love and revenge drama: an extraordinary mixture of the Fifth Doctor’s competing ‘arthouse’ and ‘macho’ styles, with a terrific script, dazzling direction, rattlesnake-eerie music and compelling actors. <br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> pride comes before a fall in a fabulously nasty Part Three scene; brilliant debut for a director so good he did a lot of the 2000s stories too; an explosive regeneration before they were fashionable. <br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-41-fires-of.html"target= "_blank">A brilliantly long-suffering moment here</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">9 – <b>Logopolis</b></span><br />Tom Baker versus the Master and the end of everything. A small-scale story of the TARDIS itself becoming perilous turns into portents of doom and the unravelling of the entire Universe – before the threat telescopes back in to the Doctor himself. <br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> making the familiar sinister; a gorgeous, funeral music score; the Doctor’s most hearts-rending regeneration.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-39-terror-of.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> for the Master.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">10 – <b>The Dæmons</b></span><br />Jon Pertwee versus the Master, a great big Dæmon and the English village; science versus magic. If ever there was a <i>Doctor Who</i> story you’d expect to see on the Horror Channel, this is it. It’s not quite Dennis Wheatley or <i>The Wicker Man</i>, but it does have a Satanic vicar – in truth, the MASTER – and evil Morris dancing. <br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> the victim of the Part Three cliffhanger; the perfect locations; the Brigadier and the rest of UNIT getting out and about; the pub. “Five rounds rapid!” <br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/doctor-who-and-daemons-and-barry-letts.html"target= "_blank">My in-depth review of the novelisation and how it compares here</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">11 – <b>The Ark in Space</b></span><br />Tom Baker versus <i>Alien</i>. This is much less comfy <i>Doctor Who</i> horror, out in pitiless space where the last humans are being devoured by giant insects – or possessed by them. <br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> it was the first <i>Doctor Who</i> I saw all the way through, and it worked on me – it gave me nightmares; the Doctor’s friends Sarah Jane Smith and Harry Sullivan are wonderful; a huge influence on both Ridley Scott and <i>Doctor Who</i>’s 2005 relaunch.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/03/doctor-who-scripts-going-cheap.html"target= "_blank">My mini-review in the context of the stories it was first broadcast with and how they all fit together here</a>.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-34-ark.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> after the end of the world.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">12 – <b>The Two Doctors</b></span><br />Colin Baker versus the Sontarans. And versus aliens who live to eat everyone in sight. With guest star Patrick Troughton being turned into one of them… Appallingly funny black humour. Like some of the other #WhoOnHorror, this was originally in forty-five-minute episodes, so Horror’s split it into their own twenty-five-minute episodes. Thrill at aliens attempting to order dinner before the music screams in!<br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> the Sixth Doctor at his most charming and wistful; the Second Doctor at his most disturbing; Sontaran ships on the march to a great musical march.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-37-two.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> in which the Doctor is interested in everything.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">13 – <b>Planet of Evil</b></span><br />Tom Baker versus a terrible scientific mistake at the edge of the Universe. More deep-space horror, more body horror and possession, a seriously convincing and icky alien world. <br /><i>Reasons to watch:</i> the series’ most alien planet; a Part Three cliffhanger that gave me the most recurring nightmares.<br /><a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-great-cliffhangers.html"target= "_blank">And here is what I think of that brilliant cliffhanger</a>.</blockquote><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--AisajWRynY/VUJpVimDqOI/AAAAAAAABG0/uosSlLlK-eQ/s1600/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--AisajWRynY/VUJpVimDqOI/AAAAAAAABG0/uosSlLlK-eQ/s640/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B04.jpg" /><br /><br />Who On Horror – Genesis of the Daleks</a></div><br /><br /><H6>The Rest of #WhoOnHorror</H6><br />As far as I’m concerned, they’ve made an excellent set of choices. The current forty-seven Horror Channel <i>Doctor Who</i> stories include twenty-three that I’d give nine or ten out of ten to – which is as dead-on half as makes no difference – and just six I’d score lower than five out of ten (which I suspect may have been chosen for their famous monsters rather than their quality). I won’t go into detail about the remaining thirty-four stories, but if you’re interested, here’s one line on each, from the completely brilliant to the, er, not completely brilliant, in roughly descending order of enthusiasm… <br /><ul><li><b>Doctor Who and the Silurians</b> – Jon Pertwee versus ignorance and racial hatred. The first appearance of Madame Vastra’s Earthlien race, an apocalyptic disease plot and a tragic ending. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/08/doctor-who-and-silurians.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a>, and in its message that green scaly rubber people are people too, one of <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/07/how-doctor-who-made-me-liberal.html"target= "_blank">the stories that made me a Liberal</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Keeper of Traken</b> – Tom Baker versus an eerie walking statue. A fairy-tale love story turned Faustian pact, it’s like a film noir Shakespeare, with the underlying Liberal message of just how very wrong things go if you make everyone’s decisions for them. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2007/03/new-beginnings-keeper-of-traken.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a>, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-39-terror-of.html"target= "_blank">a brilliant scene here</a> for the villain (spoilers). <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Daleks</b> – William Hartnell versus the Daleks, for their very first time. The series’ first monsters, a dead planet after a war, and a wonderfully gittish Doctor starting to discover his morals. <a href= "http://nexttimeteam.blogspot.co.uk/2009/04/daleks.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a> (made of many one-liners), and, <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-great-cliffhangers.html"target= "_blank">here, the most important cliffhanger the series has ever had</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Brain of Morbius</b> – Tom Baker versus an obsessive scientist and a Time Lord war criminal. Another story perfect for Horror: it’s <i>Doctor Who Does Frankenstein</i>. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-more-great-scenes.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a> (just how many Doctors are there?).<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Snakedance</b> – Peter Davison versus a snake-demon from the Dark Places of the Inside, the rather better sequel. A busy world looks forward to its biggest festival, but some party poopers claim everyone’s forgotten its true meaning. It’s true, but no-one’s happy when they find out what it is. Snakemas treats include future sit-com stars, memorably scary images and the Demonic Antiques Roadshow. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Robots of Death</b> – Tom Baker versus, well, mechanical people who are killing the non-mechanical people. But at whose behest? A futuristic murder mystery where robots are the weapon, not the real murderers, gorgeously designed and featuring a particularly memorable ‘explanation’ of the TARDIS for the Doctor’s sceptical, skin-clad companion Leela. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Carnival of Monsters</b> – Jon Pertwee versus great screaming dragons, UKIPpers, and television. The TARDIS lands on a cargo ship crossing the Indian Ocean in 1926… Or does it? <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/11/doctor-who-and-carnival-of-monsters.html"target= "_blank">My in-depth review here</a> of the novelisation and how it compares, and though it’s mostly very funny, there’s also <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-great-cliffhangers.html"target= "_blank">a brilliant cliffhanger with those alien dragons</a>. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Ribos Operation</b> – Tom Baker versus an ex-warrior-emperor who’s one very big jewel short of a crown. <i>Hustle</i> on a marvellously imagined world with its own Galileo. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/09/back-to-old-school-ribos-operation.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a>, plus <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-37-two.html"target= "_blank">a brilliant scene here</a> where the Doctor doesn’t like being sent on a mission from god, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-36-krotons.html"target= "_blank">another here</a> with a brilliant con-artist double-act.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Pirate Planet</b> – Tom Baker versus a cyborg pirate captain. Douglas Adams’ first script for the series, fizzing with ideas, as funny as you’d expect, but with brilliant and deadly serious twists. Follows on from <i>The Ribos Operation</i> and with even more blatantly gay characters (wait until you get to the third from this season…).<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Kinda</b> – Peter Davison versus a snake-demon from the Dark Places of the Inside, the first time. Fantastic scenes inside the Doctor’s friend Tegan’s head. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/08/kinda.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a>. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>City of Death</b> – Tom Baker versus Scaroth, last of the Jagaroth, who both as a tentacle-faced alien and as urbane but subtly green Julian Glover is a fabulous villain. Great filming in Paris, beautiful music, much of the script from Douglas Adams, the Mona Lisa and even a cameo from John Cleese. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-33-city-of.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant opening scene here</a>, plus <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-35-full.html"target= "_blank">another very witty moment here</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Three Doctors</b> – Jon Pertwee versus Patrick Troughton, mainly, and against legendary Time Lord Omega. The series’ tenth anniversary special, with guest appearances from William Hartnell and a titanic but ultimately tragic villain. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Masque of Mandragora</b> – Tom Baker versus the Mandragora Helix, and science versus magic in a very big way. Gothic horror in Renaissance Italy, dastardly villains and a terrible fate for one of them (or is it both?) in the Part Three cliffhanger. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/dvd-taster-doctor-who-masque-of.html"target= "_blank">My full review here</a>, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-41-fires-of.html"target= "_blank">a brilliant scene here</a> where the Doctor takes down astrology. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Remembrance of the Daleks</b> – Sylvester McCoy versus the Daleks. Revisiting 1963 with more politics and much, much bigger explosions (though I have problems with the ending on both counts). <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/07/dvd-taster-remembrance-of-daleks.html"target= "_blank">My short review here</a>, and several brilliant scenes: <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-great-cliffhangers.html"target= "_blank">a shock in one cliffhanger here</a>, though less so today; <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-37-two.html"target= "_blank">a miscalculation in another here</a>; and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-more-great-scenes.html"target= "_blank">a thrilling battle here</a>, but where you’re rooting for neither side. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Green Death</b> – Jon Pertwee versus big maggots and big business. With a fabulously gay evil computer and a strong environmental message. And it builds on the Doctor’s friend Jo Grant’s story which began in… <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Terror of the Autons</b> – Jon Pertwee versus the Master, for the very first time. And the Autons, for the second. Don’t even think of hiding behind the sofa, and never trust a daffodil! <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/doctor-who-and-terror-of-autons_10.html"target= "_blank">My in-depth review here</a> of the novelisation and how it compares, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-39-terror-of.html"target= "_blank">a brilliant scene here</a> for the Master.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Horror of Fang Rock</b> – Tom Baker versus the tentacular Rutans. A claustrophobic thriller where an alien killer stalks victims in an Edwardian lighthouse. I don’t care that other fans seem to like him – the Tory MP deserves it, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/09/back-to-old-school-horror-of-fang-rock.html"target= "_blank">I say why in my review here</a> (as well as revealing a bit of sexual gossip about the characters).<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Inferno</b> – Jon Pertwee versus fascists and the end of the world. With a thrilling diversion in which the Brigadier is more blinkered than ever before. At times almost unbearably tense, though it goes off the boil towards the end. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/07/inferno.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a>, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/08/inferno-alternate-universe-mix.html"target= "_blank">one for the book here</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Frontios</b> – Peter Davison versus gravity. Surviving humans are in trouble on a barren new world – but where’s the trouble really coming from? <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-34-ark.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene from after the end of the Earth here</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Planet of the Spiders</b> – Jon Pertwee versus the final enemy. Great spiders, especially in the big confrontation, great moments for Sarah Jane Smith, a compellingly embittered minor villain, and try to ignore the villagers. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/dvd-tasters-planet-of-spiders.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a>, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/06/doctor-who-magazine-s-golden-treasure.html"target= "_blank">my favourite brilliant Third Doctor scene here</a>. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Greatest Show in the Galaxy</b> – Sylvester McCoy versus the Gods of Ragnarok (or the TV audience). If you don’t like clowns, look away now. Eerie, strange and often very bitchy. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-48-greatest.html"target= "_blank">The greatest scene here</a>. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Sontaran Experiment</b> – Tom Baker versus the Sontarans. The shortest of Horror’s picks, this one’s just two twenty-five minute episodes. A brilliantly creepy first episode on a blasted Earth and a slightly rushed second one, though with a great villain, for my money still narrowly the best Sontaran. Best watched after <i>The Ark In Space</i>. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/03/doctor-who-scripts-going-cheap.html"target= "_blank">My mini-review here</a> in the context of the stories it was first broadcast with and how they all fit together, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-34-ark.html"target= "_blank">a brilliant scene here</a> from after the end of the world.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Time Warrior</b> – Jon Pertwee versus the Sontarans. An influential adventure in history with aliens, taking the p**s out of Robin Hood, guest-starring Dot Cotton and introducing Sarah Jane Smith, who’s fab from the off. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/dvd-taster-doctor-who-time-warrior.html"target= "_blank">My review here</a>, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-36-krotons.html"target= "_blank">a brilliant Sarah Jane moment here</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Stones of Blood</b> – Tom Baker versus the Cailleach. An ancient Celtic goddess whose modern-day followers still sacrifice to her and her mobile menhirs? A Lesbian of Evil living quietly in a cottage with a scientific but slightly unaware Lesbian of Good (like the Guardians, but only Evil has a crow on her head)? Or an alien criminal with a massive passion for Clarins?<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Sun Makers</b> – Tom Baker versus big business and big government. Tax satire and revolution featuring <i>Doctor Who</i>’s most iconic silhouettes: the bloke in the scarf, the woman in the leather bikini, and the tin dog. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-36-krotons.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a>. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Sea Devils</b> – Jon Pertwee versus the Master and the Sea Devils. Thrilling sea-based adventure with the Navy, a prison that should’ve failed its inspections and a dumbed-down sequel to <i>Doctor Who and the Silurians</i>. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Attack of the Cybermen</b> – Colin Baker versus the Cybermen. The Sixth Doctor striding around London is a joy to watch. Horror’s home-made Part Three cliffhanger comes at the end of the three best scenes in it and is very nearly where I’d have put it. And it’s a sequel to… <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Resurrection of the Daleks</b> – Peter Davison versus Davros and the Daleks. A grim tale of mercenaries, death and Docklands, much of this looks terrific and it has a great score. On the downside, after a gripping first episode the plot falls apart, and the Doctor is unable to answer Davros’ moral arguments. Horror’s exciting Part One cliffhanger is, again, just a few seconds later than I’d have put it, and has the Doctor rushing to give a Dalek a cuddle (but not in a Katy Manning way).<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Android Invasion</b> – Tom Baker versus the Kraals and their androids. Like <i>The Sontaran Experiment</i>, this has a title which rather gives it away. The Part Two cliffhanger is still awesome, and it’s lots of fun, despite making remarkably little sense. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/dvd-detail-doctor-who-unit-files-box.html"target= "_blank">My loving but critical review here</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Mark of the Rani</b> – Colin Baker versus the Rani, who’s Kate O’Mara and rather fabulous. And versus the Master, who isn’t, and isn’t. The Sixth Doctor is at ease and is constantly diverting, there’s lovely location filming in the Eighteenth Century, and dialogue that needs to be heard to be believed. No, actually, you still won’t believe it. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Seeds of Death</b> – Patrick Troughton versus the Ice Warriors. A fabulous chase with a still more fabulous line at the end, a great if sadly prescient central idea about space travel, a great villain… But also a bit saggy, and I don’t just mean everyone in the future wearing their nappies outside their trousers.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Silver Nemesis</b> – Sylvester McCoy versus the Cybermen, the Nazis and a sorceress. The sorceress is fabulous, the Nazis are a bit of a mistake and the Cybermen surprisingly vulnerable. Best watch <i>Remembrance of the Daleks</i>, which is a) the same and b) very much better.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Planet of the Daleks</b> – Jon Pertwee versus the Daleks. Have you seen <i>The Daleks</i>? This is like that, and other ’60s Dalek stories, but in crayon. Bright, colourful, crude and sometimes quite exciting, but you probably don’t want to put it on display. The moment where the Daleks work out who the tall stranger who’s been causing trouble is and brick themselves is worth the money, though.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Death to the Daleks</b> – Jon Pertwee versus the Daleks. All <i>Doctor Who</i> is brilliant. But some of it’s more brilliant than other bits. Even the music here is unspeakable. And yet even this most tired of Dalek stories has much to enjoy in it: ancient alien cultures falling to dust; Sarah Jane Smith; and the religious maniacs determined to wipe out their non-conformist naturist cousins. So, yes, I still watch and love this one, too. I am doomed. </ul></li> <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BFGP4CVjRyg/VUJpdFZjshI/AAAAAAAABG8/pxGpNd1RRu4/s1600/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BFGP4CVjRyg/VUJpdFZjshI/AAAAAAAABG8/pxGpNd1RRu4/s640/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B07.jpg" /><br><br>Who On Horror – The Curse of Fenric</a></div><br><br> <H6>The Next of #WhoOnHorror? </H6><br>First thirty stories… Then forty-seven… Which <i>Doctor Who</i> adventures will the Horror Channel choose next? In the sure and certain knowledge that they won’t read and follow my advice, I’m tempted to say – just buy the rest of the Tom Baker stories and show the lot in order, you’ve got half of them already! But in the spirit of diversity I used for my top picks, here are a further thirteen that I reckon the Horror Channel should consider next. Or that you should, if you’ve got hooked and are looking for a DVD. <ul><li><b>The Rescue</b> – William Hartnell versus the hideous Koquillion. Because it’s very short (two episodes, about the length of one modern episode) but is still a cracking story and displays many more facets of the First Doctor than his first appearances do – stern, kindly, vulnerable, intelligent, embarrassed, and often funny here, too. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-48-rescue.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The War Games</b> – Patrick Troughton versus war. Which, by contrast, is very long, but keeps building its revelations throughout. It plays around with history and introduces the Time Lords as the biggest villains of the lot, too. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/06/dvd-taster-war-games.html"target= "_blank">My short review here</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Mind of Evil</b> – Jon Pertwee versus the Master, who’s at both his most Bond-villain and his most slashtastic here (just watch his deepest fear, and his open concern). Jo Grant gets to be kick-ass, there’s lots of UNIT army action, and as it’s recently been restored to full colour, isn’t it time someone got to show it on TV again?<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Robot</b> – Tom Baker versus fascists and a Robot. This was the Fourth Doctor’s first story – and mine. Three-year-old me’s first episode was part-way into this, and if the whole of the last forty years are anything to go by, it worked. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/03/doctor-who-scripts-going-cheap.html"target= "_blank">My mini-review here</a> in the context of the stories it was first broadcast with and how they all fit together, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-45-robot.html"target= "_blank">here, the brilliant scene it closes with</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Image of the Fendahl</b> – Tom Baker versus the Fendahl. An embodiment of death from his own mythology, this is a Time Lord ghost story and probably the story it’s most surprising Horror haven’t snapped up yet, as it’s really their sort of thing. Mine, too. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2008/08/image-of-fendahl-and-doctors-door.html"target= "_blank">My review / snarky answer to a much-asked question here</a>, and <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-46-image-of.html"target= "_blank">a brilliantly scary first cliffhanger here</a>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Power of Kroll</b> – Tom Baker versus a really, really giant squid (and big business again). Horror have shown the first four stories in <i>The Key To Time</i> (<i>The Ribos Operation</i>, <i>The Pirate Planet</i>, <i>The Stones of Blood</i> and <i>The Androids of Tara</i>), and though admittedly this is a bit of a dip after those, it’s still rather fun. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>The Armageddon Factor</b> – Tom Baker versus war and the Black Guardian. And this story closes <i>The Key To Time</i> story arc, so come on, Horror, show us the ending. I rather like the actual ending to this, which is very Doctor-ish, and the sinister early parts, though the middle is rather saggy.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Full Circle</b> – Tom Baker versus… Well, we’re meant to think scary Marshmen and big spiders, but versus ignorance, really. A fiercely intelligent evolutionary fable where elders decide everything by revealed truth, only for the Doctor to ask all the awkward questions and take a moral stand, and it looks great, too. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/doctor-who-50-great-scenes-35-full.html"target= "_blank">A brilliant scene here</a>. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>State of Decay</b> – Tom Baker versus vampires. Another one that seems like it should have ‘Deliver to Horror Channel’ marked all over it. This and the stories either side form a looser arc lost in E-Space, but as both <i>Full Circle</i> and <i>Warriors’ Gate</i> are brilliant, that shouldn’t discourage Horror from showing them.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Warriors’ Gate</b> – Tom Baker versus weird s**t and slavery. Brilliantly weird visuals, haunting music, a strong story of exploitation and cyclical history, a Part Three cliffhanger that’s one of the series’ very best what-we-call-now-timey-wimey-I’m-so-sorry moments… Go for it.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Castrovalva</b> – Peter Davison versus the Master. The Fifth Doctor versus the Master became almost as much A Thing as the Third, and this gorgeously designed and scored story even forms the end of a loose trilogy with <i>The Keeper of Traken</i> and <i>Logopolis</i>.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Vengeance on Varos</b> – Colin Baker versus the slimy Sil, television, the voters, and big business. With an outstanding villain, this is usually described as satirising reality TV like <i>Big Brother</i> years before it existed, but right now I’m thinking The Governor is a dead ringer for Nick Clegg: blamed for not doing the impossible. <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-50-eleven-great-cliffhangers.html"target= "_blank">A brilliantly meta cliffhanger here</a>. <br /></ul></li> <ul><li><b>Ghost Light</b> – Sylvester McCoy versus Victorian Values. Psychopathic would-be businessmen, science-hating zealots, destroying angels and all, but it’s the Doctor versus his friend Ace that causes him the most trouble. A brilliantly intricate script, a claustrophobic Victorian house, bats in the belfry and husks in the cellar. Horror with a heart, a brain and a bowl of soup. </ul></li> <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zjCpjXq16qE/VUJpmRNatqI/AAAAAAAABHE/erf_I3MG024/s1600/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zjCpjXq16qE/VUJpmRNatqI/AAAAAAAABHE/erf_I3MG024/s640/Who%2BOn%2BHorror%2B02.jpg" /><br><br>Who On Horror – The TARDIS</a></div><br> There were six stories that I was so tempted by I would probably have picked most of them – <i>The Aztecs</i>, <i>The Tomb of the Cybermen</i>, <i>Spearhead from Space</i>, <i>Pyramids of Mars</i>, <i>Earthshock</i> and <i>Revelation of the Daleks</i> – but they’re occasionally shown on another channel, so I suspect the rights may not be available. Obviously, I thought of lots of others, too. <i>The Time Meddler</i>, a first-again outing for <i>The Enemy of the World</i> (though I bet the budget wouldn’t stretch to animating the one missing bit of <i>The Web of Fear</i>), <i>Terror of the Zygons</i>, <i>The Hand of Fear</i>, <i>The Face of Evil</i> – oh, just the whole of Tom, again – <i>Survival</i>, <i>The Trial of a Time Lord</i>… But that way madness lies. Particularly with the last one. <br /><br />But the fresh thirteen above would be a good start, eh, Horror Channel? Go on.<br /><br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-71107460933129777362015-04-28T13:11:00.001+01:002015-04-28T22:07:30.358+01:00Two Married Men Say Thank You to the Liberal Democrats<br /><b>On Sunday, Richard and I celebrated six months of marriage. </b><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q-_HsBgR1Oc/VT94Q1iZNDI/AAAAAAAABF4/Wx7n_9dxWUE/s1600/We%2BGot%2BMarried.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q-_HsBgR1Oc/VT94Q1iZNDI/AAAAAAAABF4/Wx7n_9dxWUE/s640/We%2BGot%2BMarried.jpg" /><br /><br />We Got Married </a></div><br /><br />And two-hundred-and-forty-six months since we’ve been together. <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JGR06sMXToU/VT94fBJqHXI/AAAAAAAABGA/LegfGLufgRQ/s1600/Wedding%2BLib%2BDems%2BPointing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JGR06sMXToU/VT94fBJqHXI/AAAAAAAABGA/LegfGLufgRQ/s640/Wedding%2BLib%2BDems%2BPointing.jpg" /><br /><br />Equal Marriage – Liberal Democrats Pointing at the Achievement</a></div><br /><br />We had to wait twenty years. <b>We had to wait until the Liberal Democrats were in government. </b><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6COORWYJ_Ak/VT94obWKcGI/AAAAAAAABGI/dODNiNiWQQI/s1600/Lib%2BDem%2BLGBT%2BSupport.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6COORWYJ_Ak/VT94obWKcGI/AAAAAAAABGI/dODNiNiWQQI/s640/Lib%2BDem%2BLGBT%2BSupport.jpg" /><br /><br />The Liberal Democrat Record on LGBT Equality – from the Lib Dem 2015 Manifesto</a></div><br /><br />So here’s a video we recorded on Sunday to say thank you to the only party that’s always been there for us, and always been there for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jR-j9UqCkFY" width="560"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><h6>What We Said </h6><blockquote><b>We got married. <br /><br />It was a fantastic day. </b><br /><br />So many wonderful people celebrating with us. <br /><br />And so much food. <br /><br />We’ve been together a long time, and we’ve been to a lot of weddings, and there’s never enough food. <br /><br />Trust us on this. If you ever get married – <br /><br />– which is fantastic, by the way – <br /><br />– then feed people and they’ll be happy enough that they listen to your speeches.<br /><br />But the thing about us getting married is, we had to wait a long time.<br /><br />A very long time.<br /><br />Twenty years. <br /><br />To the day.<br /><br />It wasn’t that we had very strict parents.<br /><br />Well, not much.<br /><br /><b>You see, I met Alex <br /><br />And I met Richard <br /><br />And we fell in love.<br /><br />And we got together twenty years and six months ago today.<br /><br />So we got married six months ago today.<br /><br />Because we’re gay.<br /><br />So it was a long wait.<br /><br />In fact, we had to wait<br /><br />Until the Liberal Democrats were in government. </b><br /><br />In the ’70s, when we were born, only one party said as a matter of principle that they backed gay rights.<br /><br />That was the Liberals.<br /><br />In the ’80s, when we were at school, one party brought in Section 28, to put bashing the gays into law.<br /><br />That was the Tories. <br /><br />Only one party opposed Section 28 from the first.<br /><br />That was the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />Labour were in favour of it.<br /><br />Until they weren’t.<br /><br />But they didn’t do anything about it when they had the power to in the ’90s.<br /><br />Not for ages.<br /><br />In fact the bit of Britain that first got rid of it was Scotland, in the early 2000s.<br /><br />When the Liberal Democrats were in coalition there.<br /><br />Labour had absolute power in Westminster back then. <br /><br />But they didn’t bother changing the law for the rest of us until much later.<br /><br />I remember the 1992 election, when one of the three big extreme things Jeremy Paxman sneered at a party leader for was supporting gay rights.<br /><br />That was Paddy Ashdown and the Liberal Democrats, and he stuck to his guns.<br /><br />Actually, Paddy doesn’t need guns, he’s dangerous enough with his bare hands.<br /><br />That was Paddy Ashdown.<br /><br />I remember the 1997 election, when one of the three big things the <i>Daily Telegraph</i> said a party’s manifesto was dangerously extreme for was supporting lesbian and gay rights.<br /><br />That was the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />And eventually, in 2001, one party came up with the first ever Manifesto for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender People.<br /><br />That was the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />And all the promises in there were in their main manifesto too.<br /><br />That was the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />And they did the same thing again at the next election.<br /><br />That was the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />And meanwhile the other parties either kept on hating the gays<br /><br />That was the Tories.<br /><br />Or just didn’t have the balls to <i>do</i> anything in case it put people off.<br /><br />That was Labour.<br /><br />Liberal Democrats proposed civil partnerships.<br /><br />Labour and the Tories voted them down. They were both against it before they were for it.<br /><br />And even then the Liberal Democrats wanted civil partnerships as a choice for both same-sex and mixed-sex couples.<br /><br />But both Labour and the Tories have always said those can only be a second-class option for the gays.<br /><br />The government spent thousands and thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money in court opposing an equal age of consent.<br /><br />That was the Labour Government.<br /><br />They lost. And the government spent thousands and thousands of pounds of taxpayers’ money in court defending the ban on gays in the military.<br /><br />That was the Labour Government.<br /><br />They lost that too.<br /><br />So when the Labour Party boasts that it equalised the age of consent <br /><br />Remember that they only did it because they lost in court and the court made them do it.<br /><br />So when the Labour Party boasts that it scrapped the ban on gays in the military <br /><br />Remember that they only did it because they lost in court and the court made them do it.<br /><br />The Labour Party’s boasts are like a burglar caught red-handed and then found guilty who then tries to claim credit for giving all your stolen stuff back.<br /><br />When you know they’re the ones who nicked it in the first place and only the court made them do it.<br /><br />And then when the Coalition was formed in 2010<br /><br />Only one party leader had said he was in favour of equal marriage.<br /><br />That was Nick Clegg for the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />And that year the first British party ever voted to back equal marriage.<br /><br />That was the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />And eventually the Lib Dems persuaded the leader of another party.<br /><br />That was David Cameron for the Tories.<br /><br />And later than that, another party said there was no need to have equal marriage – but in the end came in third to back it once it was already happening.<br /><br />That was the Labour Party. They were against that before they were for it, too.<br /><br />And one party was badly split about it.<br /><br />That was the Tories. <br /><br />And a lot of their MPs said they backed equal marriage because it was a “gesture” to “detoxify their brand”.<br /><br />That was the Tories. <br /><br />So as it was only a gesture, we can think of a few gestures to make in return.<br /><br />But this isn’t tagged as an explicit video.<br /><br />And another party didn’t care, and hadn’t bothered doing it when they had absolute power for thirteen whole years, but they jumped on the bandwagon last and then tried to claim all the credit.<br /><br />That was the Labour Party.<br /><br />But at least <i>this</i> time they didn’t oppose it tooth and nail until the courts made them do it.<br /><br />No. So that’s something, I suppose.<br /><br />But when one party said that to make it all properly equal, let’s make the law equal marriage for trans people too, and open up civil partnerships to mixed-sex couples so everyone has more choices<br /><br />That was the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />The other parties said <br /><br />It’s complicated.<br /><br />No thanks, you’ve had your gesture, that’s your lot.<br /><br />That was Labour and the Tories.<br /><br />So next time any important issue of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights comes up in Parliament… <br /><br />You know what’ll happen.<br /><br />Two parties will swing with the wind and just vote whichever way’s fashionable. <br /><br />That will be Labour and the Tories.<br /><br />Because they always have. So you’d better hope lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people happen to be popular that year.<br /><br />Good luck with that.<br /><br /><b>And one party will vote for equality for everyone.<br /><br />That’ll be the Liberal Democrats.<br /><br />Because we always have.<br /><br />Always will.<br /><br />Because Liberal Democrats believe in freedom and opportunity for everyone.</b><br /><br />Freedom for every individual<br /><br />For everyone to have the liberty to live their lives as they choose<br /><br />For fairness and equality before the law<br /><br />I’m Alex<br /><br />I’m Richard<br /><br /><b>Thank you, the Liberal Democrats, for changing the law so we could get married.<br /><br />We had to wait twenty years<br /><br />Some of them Tory years<br /><br />Some of them Labour years<br /><br />Without the Liberal Democrats in Government, we’d still be waiting. </b></blockquote><br />For more about why we believe in the Liberal Democrats, <b>take a look at <a href= "http://libdemsbelieve.tumblr.com/"target= "_blank">Liberal Democrats Believe</a></b> – a Liberal quote for every day of the election (and more)!<br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-22667784600066934822015-03-31T14:42:00.002+01:002015-03-31T14:54:18.071+01:00Doctor Who Anniversary Special – An Interview With Martha Jones<br />Originally published in <a href="http://wonderfulbook.co.uk/#special"target= "_blank">Wonderful Books’ <i>The Doctor Who 8th Anniversary Special</i></a>… To celebrate the tenth anniversary of <i>Doctor Who</i>’s return to our screens, and today the eighth anniversary of her first appearance in <i>Smith and Jones</i>, here’s my interview with the Doctor’s friend Martha Jones:<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--K08bV-vmWE/VRqi0PJwcHI/AAAAAAAABEw/HfEO_EeMBsc/s1600/Martha%2BSpecial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--K08bV-vmWE/VRqi0PJwcHI/AAAAAAAABEw/HfEO_EeMBsc/s400/Martha%2BSpecial.jpg" /><br /><br />Martha Smith-Jones writes… </a></div><br /><br /><br /><H6>“I LEFT THE TARDIS WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH!”</H6><blockquote>“I chose my vocation a long time ago, and even meeting the Doctor was never going to change that,” says <b>Dr Martha Smith-Jones</b>. “With a family like mine, you grew up learning to make your own mind up – or Mum made it up for you! But the Doctor certainly widened my career development, it’s fair to say.<br /><br />“There aren’t many doctors who’ve been swept off into time and space and then come home to work for two different secret alien-fighting organisations. Even <i>the</i> Doctor’s only worked for one! I met my husband through him, of course, and now we deal with them ourselves. Though my Mickey has a slightly more aggressive approach. He shoots, I patch them up. Or him, more often.<br /><br />“I’ll always be grateful to the Doctor. Some men only give you crabs – well, his were giant! No, no, don’t tell him I said that. He says they’re no such thing.<br /><br />“After that year of the Master I just decided it was time to move on. I mean, I wasn’t going to keep trailing around with the Doctor for ever. I had my own life to lead. I left the TARDIS with my head held high! Of course, <i>he</i> was the one who came back. Not that it’s not nice to see him, but those Daleks were terrible… And doctors who wring their hands questioning euthanasia don’t know they’re born. They should try deciding whether to blow up the whole planet.<br /><br />“We still meet up for a gossip, some of us who knew the Doctor. Not Colonel Mace, after Mum slapped him, but she gets on very well with Jack. Well, who doesn’t? Dad, too. I think he’s helped bring them closer. He’s so generous – he’ll take them for weekends away, and after the three of them get together they always come back with such a glow. Mickey pretends not to like him, of course, but secretly he does. Sometimes they go fishing. Mickey says he got a taste for it in that alternative Universe.<br /><br />“And the Doctor? Oh, I’m completely over him. Hardly ever even mention him these days.”</blockquote><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SeWETzcgA_Q/VRqjcjhx6II/AAAAAAAABFA/1xxhyQMO83Y/s1600/Matt%2BVs%2BJon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SeWETzcgA_Q/VRqjcjhx6II/AAAAAAAABFA/1xxhyQMO83Y/s400/Matt%2BVs%2BJon.jpg" /><br /><br />Matt’s Wonderful (and Jon’s Special Too)</a></div><br /><br /><H6>Wonderful Books</H6><br />Paul Smith has produced a fabulous array of <i>Doctor Who</i> publications, which you can find out more about at <a href="http://www.wonderfulbook.co.uk/"target= "_blank">Wonderful Books</a> (there’s a new one out this week). All of them look gorgeous and are immensely readable, but only some are completely factual – and I have to admit, the ones that most appeal to me are those with the most unfactual ‘facts’, the ones that are both deeply loving and taking the piss outrageously. <br /><br />My Wonderful Books favourite is the one he didn’t write all himself, though it’s not because I’m one of the contributors. <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/06/doctor-who-magazine-s-golden-treasure.html"target= "_blank">I’ve rhapsodised before about the <i>Radio Times Doctor Who Tenth Anniversary Special</i></a>, a treasured and tattered possession passed on to me when I was a boy and still perhaps the most thrilling <i>Doctor Who</i> magazine ever published. Before websites or guidebooks, this was the unique source of thrilling photos and details of stories all from before I started watching (that is, prehistory). So I was utterly thrilled <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/coming-soon-three-things-ive-written.html"target= "_blank">when Paul asked me out of the blue</a> to write a piece for his version in the fiftieth anniversary year.<br /><br />Paul’s concept was to give it a similar feel and length to the original <i>Radio Times Doctor Who Tenth Anniversary Special</i> by recreating it as if celebrating not the fiftieth but the eighth anniversary of a <i>Doctor Who</i> series that started for the first time in 2005. And to give it the range of voices of the original’s interviews, he approached other fans to provide some of the artwork and comment pieces. <br /><br />In the 1973 Special, double-page spreads about past stories alternated with newly shot double-page photo spreads and interview columns for past companions with pull-out quote headlines like <b>“THE NUTCASE PROFESSOR SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET”</b>. For a column like that, I was given only 350 words to play with – imagine – and a couple of other rules which I contrived to bend subtly (such as the ban on alluding to pre-2005 <i>Who</i>). I was asked which companion I’d like to write about, and though several tempted me – Rose and Jack were terrific in 2005, and I loved Jackie and Wilf – I instantly thought of Martha Jones, or rather Martha Smith-Jones as she is now. Had I written Mickey and Martha as a pair, obviously, <i>he’d</i> have mentioned Rose in every paragraph before saying he was completely over her (and had I written for Rory, it would have been a one-joke piece where he dies at the end of each paragraph and then gets better).<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4uiCSF-yj8k/VRqj-l3PPVI/AAAAAAAABFY/C-W_zfMUpJg/s1600/Martha%2BVs%2BKaty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4uiCSF-yj8k/VRqj-l3PPVI/AAAAAAAABFY/C-W_zfMUpJg/s400/Martha%2BVs%2BKaty.jpg" /><br /><br />Martha Jones Vs Jo Jones</a></div><br />From her first appearance in <i>Smith and Jones</i>, eight years ago today – making it the most appropriate day to publish my own piece from the <i>8th Anniversary Special</i> – Martha was a breath of fresh air for me. It wasn’t just Freema Agyeman’s performance and giving as good as she got to the Doctor (and him not being interested), nor just that she was the Doctor’s first full-time TV companion who was black (after Sharon, Roz and others elsewhere), but that she wasn’t going off with the Doctor only because her life was a bit rubbish. Martha is the only TV companion since Sarah Jane Smith with a decent, fulfilling, even exciting career – and for all of us who are so utterly gripped by the Doctor and his adventures, that’s a more inspiring example than the implicit suggestion that travelling in the TARDIS is only slightly better than being in a dead-end job you’re bored by or hate, or than having your parents killed in front of you (and going off with the first available surrogate dad). If you’re an achiever with a lot to give up, but the TARDIS is still so exciting you’d go off in it without a second thought – well, you would, wouldn’t you? And, for me, she has by far the most satisfying (and self-chosen) exit from the new TARDIS, too, again after impressive achievements in her own right.<br /><br />Other contributors took their own approaches, writing critical assessments or celebrations of their chosen characters, but with the <i>Radio Times Special</i> so deeply ingrained in me, I knew immediately that I wanted to write an ‘After the Doctor’ interview in that style, for the character rather than the actor, and that though I was going to be tongue-in-cheek in several ways (her earnestness, the Doctor) as well, I was going to set out first to say ‘She’s a strong, brilliant character’. And while it may have taken some time to think of all the other words, then edit them all back down again, my starting point leapt into my head fully-formed on reading Paul’s initial email to me: <blockquote><b>“I LEFT THE TARDIS WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH.”</b></blockquote>Though, as you can see from the interview as published, Paul picked a different pull-out quote, though with a very similar feel.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2HOs1Kf-Go4/VRqkLctYGUI/AAAAAAAABFg/InrX1_YaOP4/s1600/Doctor%2BWho%2BAnniversary%2BSpecial%2BAd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2HOs1Kf-Go4/VRqkLctYGUI/AAAAAAAABFg/InrX1_YaOP4/s400/Doctor%2BWho%2BAnniversary%2BSpecial%2BAd.jpg" /><br /><br />Doctor Who Anniversary Special Ad</a></div><br />As it turned out, Paul’s wickedly pointed ‘story summaries’ didn’t mention Martha at all, so mine was the only piece that featured her in the whole magazine, and I’m very happy to have done her justice (if thankfully not in an entirely strait-laced way). Happy anniversary, new <i>Who</i> and Martha Jones!Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-2281107996631054152015-03-30T16:19:00.001+01:002015-03-30T16:30:32.890+01:00#LibDemsPointing Meets Doctor Who – Snakedance<br />It’s finally come: the official end of the 2010 Parliament, and the official start of the campaign (“Not ’til now?” said Tegan, dismayed). And though you might think <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/liberal-mondays-8-doctor-who-green.html"target= "_blank"><i>Doctor Who</i> is all about the Liberal philosophy</a> and not pounding the streets with Focus leaflets, I’ve found evidence of one of the Doctor’s companions standing for election is just the way Lib Dems do.<br /><br />By chance, the <i>Doctor Who</i> story starting today on the Horror Channel is <i>Snakedance</i>. And there’s a photo-op from that story that shows exactly what I’m talking about. The Doctor tends to be a bit rough and ready in sorting out the big problems and then leaving before he has to do the clearing-up, but Nyssa, one of his friends from the time, was raised in a tradition of public service and proper tidying up (<i>Cleaning up the Mara’s Mess! After Cleaning up the Melkur’s Mess! A Record of Sweeping, A Promise of More!</i>).<br /><br />We don’t see the TARDIS leave at the end of <i>Snakedance</i>, but you can bet the Doctor goes and hides in it while Nyssa takes over doing her thing. Or, at least, campaigning to be put in charge in the proper <b>#LibDemsPointing</b> way.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y4gr8e1-aLo/VRlpNuPPvYI/AAAAAAAABEc/Wqzn0mefJms/s1600/Councillor%2BNyssa.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y4gr8e1-aLo/VRlpNuPPvYI/AAAAAAAABEc/Wqzn0mefJms/s400/Councillor%2BNyssa.png" /><br /><br />Nyssa of Traken. Pointing.</a></div><br />RELEASE: IMMEDIATE<br /><br /><B>What Have the Federation Ever Done For Us?</B><br /><br />Nyssa of Traken [pictured, pointing] is standing for Market Ward, Manussa, and campaigning for a new deal for the Scrampus System.<br /><br /><blockquote>“The Federation have been in charge round here for five hundred years – today! And what have they done since ridding Manussa of the Mara? Nothing but lounged around fondling suggestive antiques on expenses. Market taxpayers have had enough.<br /><br />“It’s time for a change. We can start by cleaning up this unsightly graffiti that’s all over Manussa’s ancient monuments.”</blockquote><br />/ENDSAlex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-69921261493061822562015-03-29T21:44:00.001+01:002015-03-29T21:46:21.602+01:00The People’s Flag? Mugs.<blockquote><div style="text-align: center;">The People’s Flag is purple now</div><div style="text-align: center;">It’s to Farage that they kowtow </div><div style="text-align: center;">Now Labour’s values are unknown</div><div style="text-align: center;">Except the mugs with ‘Send them home’</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The People’s Flag has changed its spots</div><div style="text-align: center;">For fear of UKIP’s ballot box</div><div style="text-align: center;">Those mugs keep lowering the tone </div><div style="text-align: center;">Their banner reading ‘Send them home’</div></blockquote><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r--aC3bu2U4/VRhj0pNtnHI/AAAAAAAABEI/lZd_ooM0PDU/s1600/Racist%2BLabour.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r--aC3bu2U4/VRhj0pNtnHI/AAAAAAAABEI/lZd_ooM0PDU/s400/Racist%2BLabour.jpg" /></a></div><br /><br />I like to think that I’d instinctively be a Liberal and not a racist opportunist even if I wasn’t the son of an immigrant. After all, Ed Miliband’s the son of an immigrant too, so there doesn’t seem to be any correlation. <br /><br />Thanks to Nick Barlow for eternal vigilance and <a href="http://www.nickbarlow.com/blog/?p=4040" target="_blank">#whynotjointhelabourparty</a>, and to Richard Flowers for everything, always, but this time in particular for kicking off the lyrics. And a damned good kicking is in order (even from <a href="http://www.libdemvoice.org/diane-abbott-condemns-shameful-labour-mug-and-the-policy-that-goes-with-it-45234.html" target="_blank">Labour MPs</a>).<br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-45928940122461477412015-03-18T14:46:00.003+00:002015-03-18T15:14:27.837+00:00Fifty Things I Love About Britain<br />Fifty days until the General Election. Fifty days of nothing but ‘why Britain is terrible’. Labour say it’s terrible now <i>they’re</i> in, so put back in the people who made it terrible in the first place. Tories say it was terrible when <i>they</i> were in, so don’t let them back in. UKIP say Britain has been terrible ever since we let any of ‘them’ in and hang up their <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/nigel-farage/11467713/No-dogs.-No-blacks.-No-Irish-is-now-Ukip-policy.html" target="_blank">‘No blacks, no Polish, no gays’</a> signs. And the Lib Dems say it’ll be a bit less terrible if we’re a bit in. So, today, only things I love about Britain.<br /><br /><b>1 – My greatest Briton </b><br />…and Earthling, and citizen of the Universe, of them all, my husband, Richard Flowers<br /><br /><b>2 – Love and marriage</b><br />Having the right to marry the person I love, if they want to too, or not to marry at all<br /><br /><b>3 – That he did want to</b><br />…and that we did, after waiting only twenty years (to the day)<br /><br />That’s all I need, really, but there are forty-seven more, including food, <i>Doctor Who</i>, more food, the Liberal Democrats (the whole bally lot of them), so much food… And that’s all just the other stuff that was at our wedding!<br /><br /><b>4 – <i>Doctor Who</i> </b><br />…<a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/so-who-is-doctor-anyway-all-you-need-to.html"target= "_blank">of</a> <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/07/how-doctor-who-made-me-liberal.html"target= "_blank">course</a><br /><br /><b>5 – Being a nation made up of several nations</b><br />…all distinct and all having each in common, and being a people that has always been made up of many peoples and still mixing in people from everywhere else<br /><br /><b>6 – Being a nation where we all have multiple loyalties and identities </b><br />…by definition, and not letting people tell us what <i>one</i> thing they think we are<br /><br /><b>7 – Being always open to change</b><br />…whether it’s new people in our streets, new words in our language (often from someone else’s) or newly being comfortable with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and all sorts of other people who no longer have to be like everybody else<br /><br /><b>8 – My parents</b><br />…My Mum, who wasn’t born here but has always put her all into wherever she is, and my Dad, who was born in Glasgow, did some more growing up in Watford, and made a life for his family in Stockport, because we’re lots of different places and all one country too<br /><br /><b>9 – Inspirational heroes</b><br />…The four greatest British heroic myths: King Arthur; Robin Hood; Sherlock Holmes; and World War II<br /><br /><b>10 – Doubt</b><br />…and asking awkward questions<br /><br /><b>11 – Great big cliffs </b><br />…and windmills on hillsides<br /><br /><b>12 – Great crashing waves</b> <br />…and nudist beaches when it’s bloody freezing<br /><br /><b>13 – Picturesque villages </b><br />…like Aldbourne, East Hagbourne, South Oxhey, Little Bazeley-by-the-Sea, Summerisle (but I’m more of an Escape <i>From</i> the Country guy, so…)<br /><br /><b>14 – Thrilling cities </b><br />…like London, Manchester, Edinburgh<br /><br /><b>15 – Stockport Town Hall</b><br /><br /><b>16 – The Beatles</b><br />…and especially George Harrison who, like me, swung wildly from terribly earnest to taking the piss, but who unlike me played the most gorgeous slide guitar ever heard – plus the movie of <i>Yellow Submarine</i><br /><br /><b>17 – Electronic music </b><br />…from the likes of the Pet Shop Boys, The Human League, Heaven 17 and Delia Derbyshire<br /><br /><b>18 – Kate Bush </b><br />…and whatever the hell she does<br /><br /><b>19 – Punk rock</b><br />…Especially Tom Robinson and, right now, Ian Dury and the Blockheads and the wish that I could make my lists scan as well as <i>Reasons To Be Cheerful</i><br /><br /><b>20 – Dame Shirley Bassey</b><br /><br /><b>21 – <i>The Avengers</i></b><br />…Possibly the most British thing ever, and which wasn’t just style and subversion but which <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/why-avengers-matters.html"target= "_blank">mattered</a> – introducing to a mass audience the idea of intelligent, independent women who flung men over their shoulders. A fantasy of Britain where old-fashioned tradition and high-tech, sexually equal modernity went hand in hand (a hugely successful Conservative-Liberal coalition, you might say)<br /><br /><b>22 – The BBC</b><br /><br /><b>23 – <i>Quatermass</i> </b><br />…combining British ingenuity and a wish to build rocket ships with sheer naked terror (but doing it anyway)<br /><br /><b>24 – <i>The Clangers</i> </b><br />…encouraging us to love the alien and gently laugh at ourselves<br /><br /><b>25 – <i>2000AD</i> </b><br />…the comic, not the year, particularly, which turned out a bit samey<br /><br /><b>26 – <i>Carry On Up the Khyber</i></b><br /><br /><b>27 – Alastair Sim </b><br />…in drag<br /><br /><b>28 – <span style="font-size: large;">BRIAN BLESSED</span></b><br /><br /><b>29 – Shakespeare</b><br />…A great many of his lines, anyway (and Queen Elizabeth the First, at least according to <i>Blackadder</i>)<br /><br /><b>30 – The works of JRR Tolkien</b><br />…even the ones scribbled on bits of toast and painstakingly reconstituted by his son. Mmm, toast… <br /><br /><b>31 – Clasping strange new foreign foods to our bosom</b><br />…over the centuries, making them our own so we couldn’t imagine life without them, like – the potato – and tea – and chocolate<br /><br /><b>32 – Chicken Korma</b><br /><br /><b>33 – Roast lamb</b><br /><br /><b>34 – Scotch eggs</b><br /><br /><b>35 – Pies</b><br />…<a href= "http://www.squarepie.com/"target= "_blank">Pies</a>. More <a href= "http://www.brocklebys.co.uk/"target= "_blank">pies</a>. And especially appropriate today, <a href= "http://www.pieminister.co.uk/"target= "_blank">Pieminister pies</a><br /><br /><b>36 – Margaret Thatcher, Tony Benn, Alex Salmond and Nigel Farage </b><br />…and the gladly exercised right to say thanks but no thanks, never have, never will<br /><br /><b>37 – William Gladstone, David Lloyd-George, Paddy Ashdown, Nick Clegg and Jo Swinson</b><br />…and the gladly exercised right to say yes, and I will again<br /><br /><b>38 – Being more or less democratic for quite a long time</b><br /><br /><b>39 – Mostly giving up an Empire with less fuss than is usual</b><br /><br /><b>40 – The NHS</b><br />…which on balance makes me go “Aaargghh!” less than it helps stop me going “Aaargghh!”<br /><br /><b>41 – Fulfilling the UN target of giving 0.7% of our national wealth in overseas aid and development</b><br />…a target set a year before I was born. It’s only in the last couple of years that we’ve finally met it (one of only about half a dozen countries that does), and in the last few weeks set it in law created by the Liberal Democrats<br /><br /><b>42 – The gap between rich and poor narrowing </b><br />…at last, over the last five years, after widening hugely ever since the 1980s<br /><br /><b>43 – The Rule of Law</b><br />…meaning that those in power get frustrated by the law applying to them too<br /><br /><b>44 – Signing the European Convention on Human Rights</b><br />…And not just being part of it, but <a href= "http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/oct/07/winston-churchill-leave-conservatives-liberal-democrats-protest-human-rights-act"target= "_blank">Winston Churchill commissioning British lawyers</a> to create it, in order to protect and spread our values<br /><br /><b>45 – Traditional British values </b><br />…like creativity, eccentricity, tolerance, generosity, fair play, standing up for the underdog, and universal, indivisible freedom <br /><br /><b>46 – Not having ID cards </b><br />…or being snooped on by the state at will, and the Liberal Democrats constantly being on guard whenever everybody else suddenly thinks that would be a good idea<br /><br /><b>47 – Making lists instead of doing anything</b><br />…making tutting sounds instead of hitting anyone, and grumbling but never giving up<br /><br /><b>48 – Inventing the train and the Internet</b><br />…even when each sometimes goes off the rails<br /><br /><b>49 – Many of the things we used to have but don’t any more</b><br />…like welcoming immigrants, Woolworths, Texan Bars, how Blackpool was in my childhood memories, <i>The Daleks’ Master Plan</i>, Nick Courtney, Conrad Russell and my Grandad<br /><br /><b>50 – The future</b><br />…even more than those I’ve loved and lost, and that there will always be many, many more new wonderful, beautiful, innovative, unpredictable and aggravating but loveable things to put on a list. <br />And that any list will be quite different for you, or even quite different for me tomorrow (I thought the best way was to write the lot off the top of my head), but still blatantly and brilliantly British.<br /><br /><br />So in fifty days’ time, why not vote for a Britain that offers more things to love than merely against the bits you don’t?<br /><br /><br />Here’s <a href= "http://www.libdemvoice.org/in-full-nick-cleggs-liverpool-speech-45022.html"target= "_blank">Nick Clegg on things he loves about Britain</a>. I applauded him delivering this speech on Sunday and suspect he may have spent a bit more time and thought crafting this version than I did mine, but I agree with most of his, too. <br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-45283079555300228162015-03-04T09:19:00.001+00:002015-03-10T11:37:25.285+00:00Doorsteps, Dogs and Doughnuts – A Dozen Worst and Best Election Moments<br />The General Election will take place two months tomorrow, and while for voters at home it means just two months of wishing it would all shut up, for active political volunteers it’s two months of joy and excitement. Or hell and exhaustion. So from my many election campaigns past, here are my experiences of: worst Lib Dem candidate ever! Best old lady ever! Canvassing moment least likely to be repeated! Election secret I should have admitted at the time! Best and worst police! Best and worst dog bites! Best bakery order! Best conversation in bed! Most racist voter! And more!<br /><br />Liberal Democrat Voice and the amazing Helen Duffett put out the call yesterday for people’s funniest canvassing stories, and though <a href= "http://www.libdemvoice.org/whats-your-funniest-canvassing-story-44872.html"target= "_blank">I immediately commented</a> with a <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/eastleigh-memories-time-to-go-there-and.html"target= "_blank">ready-made Eastleigh anecdote</a>, my memories kept erupting. Particularly from the 1992-1997 Parliament, when I volunteered in every mainland UK by-election but one – celebrity visitors were snowed in, and I decided I wasn’t going to hitch-hike in that. Yes, I had even less money than my party and mostly got there and back by thumbing a lift, but in those days I was at least far more healthy and could survive it all (though my studies couldn’t).<br /><br />And of course the vast majority of those by-elections were won by other parties – we’ve never won more than a handful in any one Parliament, with the four we took in the 1992 Parliament were very nearly our best ever. So next time a report exaggerates some terrible result by saying ‘Of course, in the old days the Lib Dems would have walked it, because they won every by-election’, we didn’t walk any of them – unless you mean until our shoes wore out, because they were all hard work – and <a href= "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_Kingdom_by-elections_%281979%E2%80%93present%29#1992.E2.80.931997_Parliament"target= "_blank">remember the facts</a> of how rarely we actually won and how great our joy every time we managed it, and how thankless all the many more (or, at the time, fewer) volunteers in the places we didn’t stand an earthly but still stood anyway. Also remember that by-elections were and will again sometimes be won by standing up for the right thing and not just the far right thing – Romsey in favour of Europe and immigration when the Tories were being UKIP Mark I; Brent against the Iraq War when <a href= "http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/things-to-remember-about-labour-6-iraq.html"target= "_blank">both Labour and Tories backed spending blood and money</a> like there was no tomorrow.<br /><br /><br /><H6>One – Best Doorstep Canvassing Experience Ever</H6><br /><b>Christchurch by-election, <s>1994</s> 1993</b><br /><br />A tiny old lady comes slowly to the door. I stand back but lean forward in my best I-am-listening-but-not-looming-threateningly-way. I ask her who she’s voting for. “Well…” the tiny lady says, in an even tinier voice. I lean in closer. “I’ve always voted Tory…” Suddenly she grabs me by both shoulders and shakes me as she yells, <i>“But you’ve got to get the bastards out!”</i><br /><br /><br /><H6>Two – Canvassing Experience Least Likely To Be Repeated In May 2015</H6><br /><b>Newbury by-election, <s>1994</s> 1993</b><br /><br />The man who saw me coming and ran out of his front door to beg me for a stakeboard poster to have in his garden… Because every single other house on the street had one and all his neighbours were curling their lips at him. Freedom from conformity!<br /><br />David Rendel might also have been the best by-election candidate for the troops that I ever saw: seemingly boundless energy on the doorsteps, and however late he finished, he’d always go round HQ and thank every volunteer as if every single one of us had made his day (no, they didn’t all do that).<br /><br /><br /><H6>Three – Best Candidate For Keeping Her Head On Bad News</H6><br /><b>Christchurch by-election, <s>1994</s> 1993</b><br /><br />A canvassing team out on a lovely sunny day with an enthusiastic candidate in a sharp jacket and all of us feeling the wind was at our backs. What could go wrong? The most sourly Tory street in the most sourly Tory ward in the constituency, where not one single person was voting for us and most of them gave us abuse, ranging from immigration to That London to ‘You’re a layabout, bothering me in the middle of the day – why don’t you have a job?’ (ignoring that we were the ones out and about and they were the ones at home). <br /><br />We met up on the street corner to report each individual tale of woe from sheet after sheet of unrestrained misery. Diana Maddock, the candidate, stood with her head tilted listeningly and nodded gently at each setback. Depressed, we all looked to her. “They’re all fascists, you know,” she said brightly. “But I think they’re going to vote for me.” And they did.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Four – Worst Lib Dem By-election Candidate Ever</H6><br /><b>South East Staffordshire by-election, 1996</b><br /><br />Jeanette Davy. An utter misery who drove all her aides to distraction, was never seen to smile, tutted loudly at voters when she wasn’t sighing, and was generally impossible to work with. For those who didn’t meet her, she helpfully appeared on TV to say that if people voted Labour to get the Tories out, that was “a price worth paying”. I remember one council leader who turned up to help, heard that, swore, got back in his car and drove all the way home again, saying he wasn’t going to help such a stupid [expletive deleted]. <br /><br />That’s excluding the one who defected to Labour on eve of poll in 1994 and wrecked both by-elections and Euro-elections for us – and I delivered for the git, whose name ironically was a portmanteau of two <i>Doctor Who</i> characters who betrayed humanity to the Cybermen, in a continuity error in the real world. The two of them were in those rosy days the only two Lib Dem by-election lost deposits in England for donkeys’ years.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Five – Most Racist Voter</H6><br /><b>Eastleigh by-election, 1994</b><br /><br />The man one sunny day in a suburban crescent who got more and more heated about immigration while the other two canvassers did the whole rest of the street and all the neighbours stayed out one by one to listen. Never have I delivered so many calm “That isn’t true, sirs” or “I must disagree with you, sirs” at such increasing volume as the voter went from slightly racist to shouting conspiracy theories. After my final “I don’t believe we’re going to agree, sir, so I shall say good day,” he opened his gate and lumbered after me to the corner, screaming of our candidate <i>“Chidgey’s not an English name!!”</i> [Hilarious fact: actually, it is.]<br /><br />It made my going all Churchillian when people argued about immigration and refugees when I was an actual candidate seem positively tame.<br /><br />The same by-election gets runner-up awards for two types of paternalism:<br /><br />The man who growled at the Lib Dems and refused to let me talk to his wife when I politely enquired, because she voted the way she was told. Canvassers, never treat a house as monolithic (even if there’s an opposition poster there – a Labour poster-bearer at a different by-election told me quietly that he was a member and had to, but was voting tactically). The second he slammed the door, the upper window sprang open, and she quickly confided: “I always tell him that for a quiet life. But I always vote for you lot.”<br /><br />The Labour voter on the next doorstep along from me who thought government should tell the workers what was good for them and hand out what they decreed when Tony Blair got in, because Labour and the unions knew best. And the Lib Dem canvasser I was tag-teaming with stoutly telling him that, no, workers should be involved in management rather than everything being from the top down, and the Labour man’s incredulous cry of “You can’t let workers make their own decisions!”<br /><br /><br /><H6>Six – Worst Evening’s Canvassing </H6><br /><b>Hexham, 1991 (party of students up to help out)</b><br /><br />In my late teens, shortly after I’d unwisely had all my hair buzzed off (and in a snowy January), and paired with an especially camp other Lib Dem in what was then a very Conservative and evidently conservative seat, it was probably the least successful evening’s campaigning I’ve ever had, from the very first house where my canvassing partner exclaimed “Oh, no, you’ll have to do this one!” and there was unstoppable tittering from the gate while I tried to keep my face straight asking, “Good evening – Mr Love…?” right to the point where we called it a night as one man set his dogs on us one way while trying to rev his van into us from the other.<br /><br />My then-underweight (less than half my present size), skeletal student looks, though with hair grown back, were better deployed canvassing later that year in Kincardine and Deeside – almost as chilly, and shivering pitifully, I kept being sent to canvass old ladies because I got the best ‘mother me’ response from them.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Seven – Worst Day’s Leafletting </H6><br /><b>Islywn by-election, 1995</b><br /><br />Where it never once stopped raining. I’d hitch-hiked there, eventually being picked up by the police while striding along the dual carriageway towards Islywn after being dropped at a motorway junction at 2am, and on hearing what I was there for they kindly drove me to the Lib Dem HQ (making them much nicer than the unsympathetic Leicestershire officers who’d arrested and charged me when hitching back from Bradford South the year before). Disbelieving Valleys coppers: “You’re wasting your time. A donkey with a red rosette gets in round here, and we’ve had one for twenty-five years” (thank you, Mr Kinnock). I snatched a couple of hours’ sleep against a radiator and half-dried one side before going out all day delivering. <br /><br />The only metaphorical ray of sunshine was the woman who stopped me to ask why she should vote Lib Dem instead of Plaid – I quoted Lloyd George about hating fences and wanting to kick down any he came across, because Liberals don’t like neat little boxes and borders that individuals can’t cross, and that’s what we don’t like about nationalists. I got us that one vote, but eventually had to go back to HQ with half the leaflets undelivered: not because they’d turned to papier-mâché and were coming off in thick clumps rather than one at a time, though they were; not because the highlighter pen had run off the photocopied route map, though it had; but because the toner had run off the map itself. <br /><br />Hitch-hiking back was even worse, because the time you most need a lift is when no-one wants to spoil their car with a soaking straggler. I remember being dropped, eventually, soaked to the bone and freezing, at Cockfosters – as far out on the Tube as possible – and teeth-chatteringly ringing Richard from a phone booth. He poured a hot bath and peeled me into it at the far end, hours later. When he towelled me down afterwards it was the first time I’d been dry in over two days.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Eight – Worst and Best Dog Bites</H6><br /><b>Taunton, Local elections 1999</b><br /><br />Long narrow garden path, dog suddenly leaps out at the far end. I stuck the leaflet in and ran for it, but spent election evening 1999 in A&E and still have the scar.<br /><br /><b>Christchurch by-election, 1994</b><br /><br />Dog locks its teeth around my thigh; owner comes to the door, pales, and immediately offers to take a super-size stakeboard poster. At the corner of two big roads. Result! And, bonus, no flesh torn, though card wallet punctured and outer card needed replacing from the canine canines’ dent.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Nine – By-election (Lack of) Experience I Shouldn’t Admit To</H6><br /><b>Winchester by-election, 1997</b><br /><br />I’d been there a week, and the night before polling day, the sub-agent who was going to be running the sub-office – the secondary HQ out in the country somewhere, not the central city one I’d been at the whole time – fell suddenly ill. The agent was already worn to a frazzle, and everyone had all their jobs mapped out. Disaster! But, luckily, there at hand was a familiar face from all those by-elections, and a senior-ish figure (then) in the party. “Alex Wilcock will be running the sub-office,” she announced. I went for a late-night pizza with a well-known party staffer and blogger-to-be and confided just one tiny worry. Or, rather, hinted at it, though he immediately guessed what the problem was. In all the elections I’d worked in, I’d delivered leaflets, and canvassed, and done the press, and been a candidate, and even got the doughnuts. The one thing I’d never done was any of the agent-y stuff, so running a committee room or the art of the Shuttleworth were mysteries to me. Should I tell the agent? “Best not,” he said, trying not to spit pizza in all directions with laughter. “She’s got enough to worry about.”<br /><br />So at 5am on polling day I was taken to be what appeared to be a disused aircraft hangar down a load of tiny roads, across bridges and through fords, and didn’t have a clue where I was or what I was doing. Trying to keep calm, I thought to myself, what <i>can</i> I do? I can learn very quickly on the spot, I can wing it brilliantly, and I can cheer people up. So, surrounded by experienced volunteers both local and national, one side of the room surrounded by ready-to-tear coloured strips that had some mystical connection with the election, I gathered my troops and gave them a brief word before they went off with the Good Morning leaflets. I told them how vital it was we won; I told them that the evil Tory had only challenged the result on a technicality, and that the voters wanted our candidate but couldn’t be allowed to be complacent; I said what we stood for (sadly our key topics from the leaflets rather than anything exciting); and I said something on the spot to make them laugh. All in uncharacteristically bullet-point brevity. <br /><br />“There’s one more thing,” I told them, very seriously. “I’ll be here co-ordinating the day, taking all the information, reporting it to the agent, and I’m not allowed to tell you how we’re doing – in fact, even if the candidate walks in, I’m not allowed to tell him <i>[he did, and I did as I was told and only told him it was very tight and he had to go out and do more]</i>. Now, I know I’ve been put here by the main party, and that some of you have been working to win Winchester for years and know far more about it than I ever will. So as well as acting on your local knowledge whenever something comes up, one of the most important things I can do is make sure that those of us from outside are working in the same way those of you who live here do. Before you start knocking on doors, then, just so we know everyone’s getting it right, I’d like [potentially stroppy but very experienced local party member I’d been told to keep on side] to quickly explain to us outsiders how you do it <i>here</i>…”<br /><br />By the afternoon, though I’d been told even I shouldn’t think about the data I was reporting to the agent, my estimate was that we were looking at a majority of well over 20,000, and I was worried that I’d got it all terribly wrong. I hadn’t.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Ten – Best Coming-Out Moment</H6><br /><b>Kincardine and Deeside by-election, 1991 </b><br /><br />Surprisingly, my best coming-out moment wasn’t while being an out gay candidate myself (the first time I was quoted as one of only two for the Lib Dems, which I was completely certain wasn’t right, so four years later I put together the list of over two dozen myself because no-one else was doing it), but at my very first Parliamentary by-election. Being driven up to North Aberdeenshire with a coach-load from Scottish Lib Dem HQ and then staying there several days, we all had to be found places to sleep. I was spoiled: unlike many later campaigns, this wasn’t a sleeping bag on the floor, but a big actual bed, with only one other person in it, it being assumed that studenty types wouldn’t mind. Nice bloke, we’d got on well while chatting earlier in the day, and as we tucked in he warned me hesitantly, “While I’m asleep, I tend to grab onto things, but don’t worry, I’m not a homosexual.” I’m sure there were many ways I could have broken it to him more reassuringly, but given a feed line like that I couldn’t resist replying, “Don’t worry – I am.” Which is the first time I’d come out to someone while already in bed with them. He was a good Liberal and absolutely fine, so we nattered away very happily until he said something about Americans and I did it to him again: coming out as half-American, though, made him groan and roll over.<br /><br />Not a sexy story in the end, then, but back in 1998 I did manage to canvass for the Alliance Party in Belfast, where my accent managed to put off both ‘sides’, when a man in a much-too-small kimono that covered very little of his chest hair and almost nothing of his thighs came to the door, and I had to concentrate hard on remembering every single word of my usually automatic spiel… <br /><br /><br /><H6>Eleven – Best photo-opportunity</H6><br /><b>Wirral South by-election, <s>1999</s> 1997</b><br /><br />I worked for a couple of weeks in what was going to be Labour’s last by-election gain before the first Blair landslide, and our vote holding up surprisingly well was a good omen. My favourite bit, unusually, was a press conference wheeze I came up with: somehow our mostly-detached technically-Lib Dem local-ish MP David Alton had been persuaded to turn up in support, and wanted to run on law and order. The Major Government had cut police numbers in Merseyside, and we had all the very serious statistics of exactly how many hundred they were short which, amid the blizzard of daily figures from all the campaigns, no-one would listen to. Until I took two police officer pictures (one woman, one man) from our standard artwork, blew them up on the photocopier, and the press trooped in to find the wall covered with a photogenic 236 (or whatever it was) alternating A4 police heads to illustrate the point. <br /><br />It was the only one of our press conferences that I remember getting decent coverage other than the one that was meant to be our Transport Spokesperson complaining about the trains, and which he had to give via his mobile when the train he was coming on broke down and stranded all the passengers (his researcher was later cleared of putting sugar in the engine).<br /><br /><br /><H6>Twelve – Best Result (ish) </H6><br /><b>Monklands East by-election, 1994</b><br /><br />Squeezed between Labour and the SNP, though we had a great candidate he was never going to be their next MP after John Smith. But after spending a few days helping out there, I went to Germany for a meeting of European Young Liberal Leaders. As Chair of the Liberal Democrat Youth and Students (England and Wales) I was there, as was the Chair of the Scottish Young Liberal Democrats, and in those pre-Internet boom days we tuned in to British Armed Forces Radio first thing on the morning after polling day. We came down to breakfast arm in arm and grinning ear to ear. ‘Another great by-election victory?’ the others asked us. “No, we lost our deposit – but we went up to third and beat the Tories!”<br /><br /><br /><H6>Baker’s Dozen – Best Order and Dodgiest Opinion Poll</H6><br /><b>Eastleigh by-election, 1994</b><br /><br />Possibly my favourite by-election memory was striding one morning into the local bakery to utter the unusual but satisfying words, “Could I have two hundred doughnuts, please?” They offered ridiculous discounts for multiple buys, so that, say, one doughnut might be 85p, but you’d get three for £2, or ten for £5, with escalating discounts the more you bought. These were for the cheery campaign HQ and all the hundreds of volunteers rather than personal consumption, but the huge stack of boxes had the advantage of obscuring the rosette that might have put off the opinion pollster who then stopped me on the street. “Oh no,” I remember saying, “I wouldn’t like that Tony Blair as Labour Leader. Margaret Beckett’s the one you want, she’ll be very popular, and John Prescott, he’s a sensible man.”<br /><br />Since then, I’ve always taken opinion polls – and what people tell you on the doorstep – with just a pinch of icing sugar. <br /><br /><br />You’d think I’d have lots of stories from the two times I was a Parliamentary candidate myself, and I probably do somewhere, but they’re buried deep in a part of my memory labelled ‘long slog’. My first time, when I was the youngest candidate in the region, I did at least get some media attention, partly because the media wanted someone under thirty and I was it. The other reason was that the Lib Dems’ Regional Media Co-ordinator put me up for radio shows and other places where a candidate might be asked Very Hard Questions (actually, that reminds me of my debates in that campaign, but they’d need a post all of their own) because she claimed that there were only two Lib Dem candidates in the region that she trusted to know all our policies and put them across effectively, and she kept putting my name forward instead of the other one – because he was David Rendel and he had better things to do, like winning his seat, while I could do far more good for the party as a spokesperson than tramping round a Labour-Tory marginal in which I was inevitably dead meat. <br /><br />If only someone had done a similar assessment for where to put Natalie Bennett!<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.libdemvoice.org/top-of-the-blogs-the-lib-dem-golden-dozen-414-44918.html" target= "_blank"><img src="http://www.libdemvoice.org/images/golden-dozen.png" width="200" height="57" alt="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" title="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" /></a><br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-79470254490526273892014-11-23T23:27:00.000+00:002014-11-23T23:43:05.197+00:00Richard and Alex In An Exciting Adventure With Doctor Who – The Video<br />Hooray!<br /><br />Celebrating fifty-one years today of <i>Doctor Who</i> – and four weeks today of our marriage. <br /><br />If the <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/richard-and-i-are-married-maius-intra.html" target="_blank">printed version of the reading given at our wedding</a> was too baffling, here is <i>Maius Intra Qua Extra</i> delivered with much more pace and energy – on video!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="472.5" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/3VcSJ0ukNRY" width="840"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />Many, many thanks to four very lovely men: <a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/01618461043660129105" target="_blank">Nick Campbell</a> (hair) and <a href="http://incoherent.net/" target="_blank">Simon Fernandes</a> (hat) for performing for us; Simon’s partner Barry for shooting them; and Nick’s partner Jon for looking sweet in the bottom of shot. And, of course, <a href="http://millenniumelephant.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/day-5075-happy-endings-and-other.html" target="_blank">to Richard, for marrying me</a>.<br /><br />If any reader happened to record any other part of our wedding (or another take of the reading) on their hand-held devices, please let us know, as we’d love to see any videos that any of you have. New-fangled moving pictures were, alas, something we never got round to sorting out, so thank you again, Barry.<br /><br />Richard and I are currently sorting through wedding photos for our next project, but here’s one that I particularly like: a shot from during the ‘gratuitous sexual innuendos’ part of the reading, showing the reactions of the two delighted grooms – and of our parents. Fantastic. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jhckzsdFsB8/VHJsEaMzRjI/AAAAAAAABDY/_8Ma4eFAk1o/s1600/Maius%2BIntra%2BQua%2BExtra%2BReaction.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jhckzsdFsB8/VHJsEaMzRjI/AAAAAAAABDY/_8Ma4eFAk1o/s640/Maius%2BIntra%2BQua%2BExtra%2BReaction.jpg" /><br /><br /><i>Maius Intra Qua Extra</i> Reaction </a></div><br /><br />I notice no-one’s yet overcome the intimidating number of mashed-up <i>Doctor Who</i> quotations to hazard identifying any of them, so before I just give up and attribute them all, here’s another attempt to get some comments (please chip in either below or <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/richard-and-i-are-married-maius-intra.html" target="_blank">on the previous post</a>).<br /><br />If you’d like a hint for what’s left, though it was all assembled into one piece by Alex Wilcock and Richard Flowers, there were a few other writers.<br /><br />As is traditional, with additional dialogue by William Shakespeare.<br /><br />But mainly by David Whitaker, Gareth Roberts, Terrance Dicks, Paul Cornell, Russell T Davies, Anthony Coburn, Rona Munro, Ian Briggs, Ian Stuart Black, Robert Sloman and Barry Letts, Graeme Curry, Christopher H Bidmead, Robert Holmes, Simon Guerrier, Marc Platt, Jim Mortimore and Andy Lane, Ben Aaronovitch, David Fisher, <s>Terry Nation</s> Tom Baker, Stephen Wyatt, Robert Banks Stewart, Bob Baker and Dave Martin, Anthony Steven, Kit Pedler and Gerry Davis, John Lucarotti, Johnny Byrne, <s>Matthew Jacobs</s> TV’s Eric Roberts, Andrew Cartmel, and Peter Harness.<br /><br />Thanks to them all, and to so many others.<br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-55266113445712750512014-10-27T18:50:00.001+00:002014-11-11T19:10:42.922+00:00Richard and I Are Married! Maius Intra Qua Extra<br />Yesterday, Richard and I celebrated our twentieth anniversary by getting married. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z3v5WTu8OHU/VE6Qfgw13HI/AAAAAAAABBc/ddeE1tyUHgw/s1600/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z3v5WTu8OHU/VE6Qfgw13HI/AAAAAAAABBc/ddeE1tyUHgw/s400/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B1.jpg" /><br /><br />Richard and Alex Wedding 1</a></div><br />It was wonderful, and we’re incredibly happy.<br /><br />Thank you to all the many lovely people who came to celebrate with us – and many who couldn’t.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QZluTYwjPyY/VE6Q_OfnMtI/AAAAAAAABBs/-4KQtZkXE4A/s1600/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QZluTYwjPyY/VE6Q_OfnMtI/AAAAAAAABBs/-4KQtZkXE4A/s400/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B2.jpg" /><br /><br />Richard and Alex Wedding 2</a></div><br />Among the huge highlights for us was a reading performed by our lovely friends Nick and Simon. Like the TARDIS, it was something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue – we wrote it ourselves, but over thirty other writers had written it first, before we assembled nearly ninety quotations from <i>Doctor Who</i> into something uniquely us. How many can you identify?<br /><br />As I can’t be online much for a couple of weeks to say all the things I’d like to about our wedding and my husband, here to keep you busy in the meantime is our reading, which we carefully scheduled for the middle of the wedding breakfast, when people had already had something to eat and drink and were sitting down. You’ll be able to see how the two readers alternated lines as they went along.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xaC_jMQ3kis/VE6RQqRqWmI/AAAAAAAABB8/LdyQ5YPYKYc/s1600/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xaC_jMQ3kis/VE6RQqRqWmI/AAAAAAAABB8/LdyQ5YPYKYc/s400/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B3.jpg" /><br /><br />Richard and Alex Wedding 3</a></div><br />Before I get back online, how about putting your guesses in the comments section? Though if you’re like Richard and can place every single one at once, please don’t take the lot (though you can email me to show off if you like. That’s what I’d do).<br /><br />Oh, and before I go – you were wonderful. And because we were wonderful too, please send us your photos and videos, by email, website, memory stick for the big ones and carrier pigeon (if my Dad’s not eaten them all). We’ve nicked some photos to start with.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Jz4zdSceSr4/VE6RHYSfvXI/AAAAAAAABB0/o7SnRS2yhzg/s1600/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Jz4zdSceSr4/VE6RHYSfvXI/AAAAAAAABB0/o7SnRS2yhzg/s400/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B5.jpg" /><br /><br />Nick and Simon</a></div><br /><blockquote><b>Master of Ceremonies: Peoples of the Universe, please attend carefully. The message that follows is vital to the future of you all. Here are Simon Fernandes and Nicholas Campbell with tonight’s reading.</b><br /><br /><br /><h6>Richard and Alex in an Exciting Adventure with <i>Doctor Who</i></h6><br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Of course we’re getting married. Oh, but there’s another man. Always. The Doctor. </span><br /><br />The Doctor is impulsive, idealistic, ready to risk his life for a worthy cause. He hates tyranny and oppression and anything that is anti-life. He never gives in and he never gives up, however overwhelming the odds against him.<br /><span style="color: purple;">The Doctor believes in good and fights evil. Though often caught up in violent situations, he is a man of peace. He is never cruel or cowardly.</span><br />In fact, to put it simply, the Doctor is a hero. These days there aren’t so many of them around.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Thank you for this. Thank you for my life, for my wedding, and my husband.</span><br /><br />By the way, did I mention – it also travels in time? <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Have you ever thought what it’s like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? Have you? To be exiles? Susan and I are cut off from our own planet, without friends or protection. But one day, we shall get back. Yes, one day. One day…</span><br /><br />You had to pick a Sunday, didn’t you? You bring me back to ‘Boredom Capitol of the Universe’; you pick the one day of the week you can’t even get a decent television programme.<br /><span style="color: purple;">So what’s so terrible about Stockport?</span><br />Nothing ever happens here.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Nothing for you but pitiless damnation for the rest of your lives! Think on it!</span><br /><br />The two Silurians were now hot on the Pakhars’ heels, their big clawed feet making good speed along the cobbles. They kept glancing over their shoulders and squealing. ‘Barbarians!’ yelled Jacquilian at the mob behind them. ‘You’d think it was the twenty-first century!’<br /><span style="color: purple;">‘It <i>is</i> the twenty-first century!’ Sanki told him. ‘So let’s not have any of that Earth Reptile Pride rubbish – let’s just find a barn or something and hide!’</span><br /><br />I think you’ve been listening to some <i>very</i> bad advice. Well, it’s just possible that you’ve been given a series of orders while you’ve been asleep. You know – do this, do that, do the other thing. My advice to you is <i>don’t do anything of the sort. Don’t</i> just be obedient. Always make up your own mind. <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">In the end, we all want the same thing; an ordered society, with everyone happy, well-fed… What’s best for Global Chemicals is best for the world – is best for you!</span><br />Such as a little touch of brain-washing.<br /><span style="color: purple;">Freedom from fear, freedom from pain…</span><br />Freedom from freedom!<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">I can hear the sound of empires toppling. </span><br /><br />Everything is history, if you look at it from the right perspective.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">I used to think – ‘I’ll never get married’… But now I’m not so sure. </span><br /><br />That was over twenty years ago. Why must you remind me? I offer you – everything.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Still – the future lies this way.</span><br /><br />’Pon my Sam – I may have had a bang on the head, but this is a dashed queer story. <br /><span style="color: purple;">Oh, corks! </span><br /><br />Why can’t you talk normally?<br /><span style="color: purple;">What? And be just like everyone else?</span><br /><br />Redvers has the whole Universe to explore for his catalogue. New horizons, wondrous beasts, light years from Zanzibar!<br /><span style="color: purple;">Doctor, something tells me you are not in our catalogue – nor will you ever be. </span><br /><br />‘What’s that?’ Miles asked as she held the paper up.<br />Piper remembered what the Doctor had told her, and suddenly grinned.<br />‘Hope,’ she said, as the powder was carried away from them, like a flurry of sparks, upon the wind.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Now that’s much better. I can <i>believe</i> that. </span><br /><br />There was a sudden intensity in his eyes. Ace sensed that he wanted to say something. <br />Mike offered her the bacon sandwich instead.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Vivien is making some <i>sausage</i> sandwiches. Nothing like sausage sandwiches when you’re working something out.</span><br /><br />Personally, I have never seen the necessity for starting a meal with a – what was your word?<br /><span style="color: purple;">Hors d’oeuvres. </span><br />Ah! Quite unnecessary, in my opinion. Eight – or nine – main dishes are quite enough.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Unlimited rice pudding, et cetera, et cetera!</span><br /><br />The only other solution she could think of was impossible — Daleks didn’t and never, ever had eaten crunchy brown finger biscuits. <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Let’s try the pub!</span><br />Five rounds rapid.<br /><span style="color: purple;">‘What do you want to drink?’ </span><br />‘What have you got?’ asked Roz.<br /><span style="color: purple;">‘Hey,’ said the table smugly. ‘You name it we’ve got it.’</span><br />‘In that case,’ said Bernice, ‘I’ll have an exaggerated sexual innuendo with a dash of patriot’s spirit and extra mushrooms. Roz?’<br /><span style="color: purple;">‘I’ll have the same,’ said Roz, ‘but with an umbrella in it.’</span><br />‘Coming right up,’ said the table.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">‘The sky appears to be reflective,’ Holmes replied, more hesitantly than usual. ‘Perhaps, like Dante’s inner circle of Hell, we have ice above us. If you look closely, you will see a reflected glow from something over the horizon. The nearest Earthly equivalent would be the lights of a town or city.’ He coughed. ‘I am merely speculating, of course. It could be an incandescent chicken the size of the North Riding for all I know.’</span><br /><br />Jamie, I’m being stared at. Is there something wrong with me? <br /><span style="color: purple;">You mean up here, Doctor? </span><br />Is my hair in disarray? <br /><span style="color: purple;">What, no more than usual. </span><br />Do I look strange or bizarre? <br /><span style="color: purple;">Aye, well, maybe I’m used to you. </span><br /><br />You really ought to come and join me, Pex. It’d do you the world of good. There’s really nothing to be frightened of. …Help!<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Doctor, look, here what approaches?!</span><br />Oh no, run! It is a Taran Beast!<br /><span style="color: purple;">We’ll meet elsewhere. Now flee with haste<br />You go West, me East!</span><br /><i>Exeunt at different sides, pursued by Taran Beast. </i><br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">I imagine the whole business caused quite a stir.</span><br />No, the Cabinet’s accepted my report and the whole affair’s now completely closed.<br /><span style="color: purple;">You mean it never happened.</span><br />Well, a fifty-foot monster can’t swim up the Thames and attack a large building without <i>some</i> people noticing – er, but you know what politicians are like.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">And even if it did come after him, the Doctor wasn’t too worried. He didn’t have a very high opinion of monsters, however large and powerful. </span><br /><br />Doctor, you – you’re being childish. <br /><span style="color: purple;">Well of course I am. There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes. Are you coming? </span><br /><br />Am I naked in front of millions of viewers? <br /><span style="color: purple;">Victory should be naked! Rejoice in it. Your body is – magnificent. </span><br />Ladies – your viewing figures just went up.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Look, Brigadier! It’s growing!</span><br />Look, Brigadier – look. I think it’s started. <br /><span style="color: purple;">Well, here we go again. </span><br /><br />Men out there – young men – are dying for it!<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Thou <i>craggy knob! </i></span><br /><br />David said, ‘Well, then.’<br />‘Well then,’ said Chris.<br />At the far end of the street, hostile armed men came to party, and twenty minutes passed.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Was that bang big enough for you, Brigadier? </span><br /><br />No, no, the Zigma Experiment was a success! A <i>brilliant, total success! </i> <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">In many ways, we have the <i>same</i> mind. </span><br /><br /><br />Time’s roses are scented with memory. There was a garden where they once grew. Cuttings from the past grafted on to the present. Perfumes that recalled things long gone or echoed memories yet to come. <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Listen to me, both of you. I want you to remember. I want you to remember everything. Every single day with me. Every single second. Because your memories are more powerful than anything else on this planet. Just think of it. Remember it. But properly. Properly. Give the Memory Weave everything. Every – planet, every face, every madman, every loss, every sunset, every scent, every terror, every joy, every Doctor. </span><br /><br />My father Sidney was a – a watchmaker from Nottingham, and my mother Verity was – erm – well, she was a nurse, actually. <br /><span style="color: purple;">Oh! We make such good wives.</span><br /><br />You probably can’t remember your family.<br /><span style="color: purple;">Oh yes, I can when I want to. And that’s the point, really. I have to really want to, to bring them back in front of my eyes. The rest of the time they – they sleep in my mind, and I forget. And so will you. Oh yes, you will. You’ll find there’s so much else to think about, to remember. <br />Our lives are different to anybody else’s. That’s the exciting thing. Nobody in the Universe can do what we’re doing.</span><br /><br />You know, when you’re a kid, they tell you it’s all, ‘Grow up, get a job, get married, get a house, have a kid’, and that’s it. Oh… But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It’s so much darker, and so much madder. And <i>so</i> much better.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Two birds circled each other in the sky above the Lincolnshire marshes. They were owls in love, as much as owls could love. </span><br /><br />Are you ready?<br /><span style="color: purple;">If <i>you</i> are.</span><br />What? Well, I’d feel more confident if you just said ‘Yes’.<br /><span style="color: purple;">Yes.</span><br />Good. Here we go, then.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">You look wonderful. </span><br />You’d best give me some warning. Um, can you actually dance? <br /><span style="color: purple;">Um… I’m not certain. </span><br />There’s a surprise. Is there anything you’re certain about? <br /><span style="color: purple;">Yes. Yes. </span><br /><br />And where do you think you’re going? <br /><span style="color: purple;">Well, we’ll have to find out for ourselves, won’t we? </span><br /><br />Happy days, my dear. <br /><span style="color: purple;">The happiest of my life, dear heart. Was ever such a potion brewed? In bliss is quenched my thirsty heart. </span><br />Very prettily put, my dear. <br /><span style="color: purple;">Oh, sweet, favoured man, you have declared your love for me. And I acknowledge and accept your gentle proposal. </span><br /><br />Oh, no, they’re not gonna – oh, people are eating! Nobody over 22 should be doing that in public. Actually, at all. <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">You see before you the complete killing machine – as beautiful as you, and as deadly as the plague. If only she were real, I’d marry her.</span><br />You deserve each other.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Hah! And is not Grendel a faméd coward?</span><br />Is the Archimandrite’s hat not silly? <br /><span style="color: purple;">Why then, be gay and deck the hall with spog!<br />You shall have a husband great or none.</span><br /><br />If all the stars were silver, and the sky a giant purse in my fist, I couldn’t be happier than I am tonight. <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">‘Indeed, Doctor,’ growled the Master. ‘I merely required some time to finish my experiments. I didn’t anticipate the arrival of this maladjusted couple and their wedding plans. I have learnt to be only mildly surprised when you arrive to disrupt my work. But this time you bring with you a full platoon of UNIT troops, numerous armed aliens, an Ice Warrior battlecraft, a couple of Time Lords and Sherlock Holmes! You have excelled yourself!’</span><br /><br />I always <i>drezz</i> for the occasion!<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Already the Time Lords are gathering, donning seldom-worn robes with their colourful collar insignia. The scarlet and orange of the Prydonians, the green of the Arcalians, and the heliotrope of the Patrexes – and so on.</span><br /><br />The latest batch of guests included an upright four-armed blue elephant, who was looking around nervously. ‘Anybody else I know, coming to this wedding?’ he asked.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">‘Bestwishesforyourfuturetogetherbut youwillfallbeforethemightofourinvasionforcebythewaywhat<br />sortofringsarethose?’ <br />Love, the Cybercontroller, Telos.</span><br /><br />Don’t mind me. I’m just toasting the happy couple. <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Now, remember – enjoy yourselves. Happiness <i>will</i> prevail!</span><br /><br />Build high for happiness!<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">I’m glad you’re happy. </span><br />And I’m <i>happy</i> you’re glad. <br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Sixty million robots danced through the streets of Milky-Pink City. They had never been programmed with dance lessons but what they lacked in style they made up for with enthusiasm. All around, metal limbs twisted with abandon. Tall robots did something that looked like a rumba, lifting robots did the Mashed Potato. And weaving in and out between them raced the Doctor and Martha Jones.</span><br /><br />For one vertiginous moment the Dalek Supreme wanted to skip.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">Just remember. The future. No looking back, that’s our motto. We’re heading towards a new life… Drive off into the sunset. The future. Adventure. The open road and whatever it might bring.</span><br /><br />The sphere experienced, for the first time in its history, the glories of a full cinemascope Technicolor sunset.<br /><span style="color: purple;">Just so Chris and Dep could fly off into it.</span><br /><br />So what happens now, then? Tell me what happens now. <br /><span style="color: purple;">In the mid Twenty-First Century, humankind starts creeping off into the stars, spreads its way through the galaxy to the very edges of the Universe. And it endures ’til the end of time. And it does all that because one day in the year 2014, when it had stopped thinking about going to the stars, something occurred that make it look up, not down. It looked out there into the blackness and it saw something beautiful, something – wonderful, that for once it didn’t want to destroy. And in that one moment, the whole course of history was changed. </span><br /><br />Homo sapiens. What an inventive, invincible species. It’s only a few million years since they crawled up out of the mud and learned to walk. Puny, defenceless bipeds. They’ve survived flood, famine and plague. They’ve survived cosmic wars and holocausts, and now – here they are out among the stars, waiting to begin a new life, ready to out-sit eternity. They’re indomitable. Indomitable!<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">In case there is any fear in your heart and doubt in your mind at this awesome moment, let me remind you that you take with you all our pasts. You carry the torch that has been handed down from generation to generation. <br />The challenge is vast, the task enormous, but let nothing daunt you. </span><br /><br />During all the years I’ve been taking care of you, you in return have been taking care of me.<br />One day, I shall come back – yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">There are worlds out there where the sky is burning. Where the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke, and cities made of song. Somewhere there’s danger. Somewhere there’s injustice. And somewhere else, the tea is getting cold. <br />Come on, Ace – we’ve got work to do.</span><br /><br />The light on the TARDIS flashed like a bright idea.<br />The TARDIS was on its way to new adventures.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">It’s <i>far</i> from being all over!</span><br /><br />It’s the end. But the moment has been prepared for.<br /><br /><span style="color: purple;">It’s a new beginning. And the moment has been prepared for.</span></blockquote><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CfZl-iOTX20/VE6QwbxdlsI/AAAAAAAABBk/Uzb965ar1Q4/s1600/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CfZl-iOTX20/VE6QwbxdlsI/AAAAAAAABBk/Uzb965ar1Q4/s400/Richard%2Band%2BAlex%2BWedding%2B4.jpg" /><br /><br />Richard and Alex Wedding 4</a></div>Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-40324516015725409872014-10-23T15:32:00.001+01:002014-10-23T15:32:37.292+01:00Liberal Mondays 10c: Sal Brinton’s What the Liberal Democrats Stand For #LibDemValues<br />A fortnight ago I emailed all of the then declared contenders to be the next Liberal Democrat President with questions (below) about their personal political philosophy and our shared Lib Dem values, to be published here. I received <a href=" http://salbrinton.co.uk/en/"target= "_blank"> Sal Brinton</a>’s answers last night, and here they are now.<br /><br /><blockquote>What I believe and why I can only be a Lib Dem:<br /><br />Fairness and equality are at the heart of everything I believe in. Every child should have the best start in life, the opportunity to do what they want, even if it isn’t what everyone else wants, with the best skills they can learn. I want people to have the freedom to say and do what they want – but not to harm others. We need a successful economy, but not just for the few rich, for as many as possible, with a safety net for those that struggle. This isn’t just about holding back the worst excesses of the Tories, or preventing Labour controlling everything, it’s a philosophy, a way of life.<br /><br /><br />2. What Lib Dems stand for, and how we’ve shown that in coalition over the last four years:<br /><br />Liberal Democrats believe that the best people to decide their future are individuals themselves. We believe that people should have the freedom to do what they want – as long as it doesn’t affect others negatively – and we want to make sure that they are given the best chance to do it. We also think that the state should provide the best support possible for everyone, but with the lightest touch that it can, and the state should protect people from those more powerful controlling them. Access to health, education, justice should be universal (you can’t reduce inequality without this), and we want decisions to be made as locally as possible. A vote for us is a vote for you achieving the best you can and want.<br /><br />As liberals, we are often very hard on ourselves. Compromise in coalition has been tough, and we’ve made mistakes, but we need to remember what we’ve achieved. In coalition we’ve succeeded in making tax fairer by raising the personal allowance rate: giving every tax payer £700 per annum. We have started to reduce education inequalities through providing extra money for the most disadvantaged pupils and students, and the results are beginning to show it works. In the worst recession for decades, we’ve protected the NHS budget and insisted on proper funding for mental health services. We’ve given you, Alex, the freedom to marry Richard this weekend: achieving same sex marriage is core to our belief in freedom and equality, and we persuaded the Tories to support it too. We’ve protected girls from FGM, and provided 0.7% of GDP for international development, guaranteeing help for the most vulnerable people in the world.</blockquote><br /><a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/liberal-mondays-10a-liz-lynnes-what.html"target= "_blank">Liz Lynne’s answers can be found here</a>. <br /><br /><a href=" http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/liberal-mondays-10b-daisy-coopers-what.html"target= "_blank"> Daisy Cooper’s answers can be found here</a>. <br /><br />NB On Monday, the three contenders on the ballot paper were announced as Liz Lynne, Daisy Cooper and Sal Brinton. Linda Jack was unable to find enough people within the Liberal Democrats to support her nomination.<br /><br /><br /><H6>My Questions As Sent</H6><br />I have two related questions for you. Both are more concerned with politics than process. One is after a short two-pronged answer from the heart – had I been able to come to Conference, I would have preferred to put you on the spot with it in person to hear what you instinctively believe. The other question is asking you to come up with a longer, more thoughtful answer on our values that you’d be happy having the whole party say (as if anyone could ever persuade us to stick to one hymn-sheet).<br /><br /><b>Question One: What You Believe</b><br /><br />People say all politicians are the same. It’s hardest for us in Coalition, but there’s some truth in it when every party promises to give money to the low-paid and the NHS, or when every local candidate for every party talks about experience, hard work and listening to local people. So what really motivates you? What for you makes the Lib Dems different from any other party?<br /><br /><b>If someone asked you on the doorstep, the hustings or on TV to sum up in one or two sentences what the Lib Dems, uniquely, stand for – and then why anyone should vote for us – what are your answers? </b><br /><br />Past answerers include <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/exclusive-what-lib-dems-stand-for-by.html"target= "_blank">Presidential contenders</a> and <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/what-lib-dems-stand-for-by-four-mayoral.html"target= "_blank">London Mayoral candidates</a>.<br /><br /><br /><b>Question Two: What the Lib Dems Stand For</b><br /><br />Looking for something that’s more than a slogan or a soundbite but short enough to get in one go, imagine this answer as about one minute of a speech, or a box on a leaflet (perhaps 150-200 words, but that’s up to you). As you will be the voice of the Party if elected, can come up with something you think every party member could be happy saying or printing to explain What the Lib Dems Stand For? Something to enthuse and inspire Lib Dem believers and at the same time to attract and persuade potential supporters?<br /><br /><b>How would you link what makes us different, our philosophy, to what we’ve achieved in government, and what we want to do next? However you want to put that together, as specific or as thematic as you like. </b><br /><br />I start this as a meme that many other Lib Dems have answered over the past couple of years (if I ever get a wide enough selection in, I might publish a book of them!). If you want to see more about what that’s involved, <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/putting-whyiamin-into-what-lib-dems.html"target= "_blank">here’s my own latest version</a>, including links to where I’ve printed other Lib Dems’ ideas.<br /><br />Best of luck to each of you.<br /><br /><br />I had also spent some time trying to think of a ‘nasty’ question individually tailored to each of you – which I did for the last set of Presidential candidates and, going back further, for Nick and Chris in 2007. You may be relieved to read that I’ve decided not to ask those this time as I was unable to construct nasty questions of equal balance: the best I could think of for one of you was much too gentle, and for another of you, too bare-knuckle brutal. So that’s your lot from me!<br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-78529278148239636292014-10-22T12:00:00.000+01:002014-10-22T12:14:14.560+01:00Liberal Mondays 10b: Daisy Cooper’s What the Liberal Democrats Stand For #LibDemValues<br />Twelve days ago I emailed all of the then declared contenders to be the next Liberal Democrat President with questions (below) about their personal political philosophy and our shared Lib Dem values, to be published here. I received <a href="http://daisy4president.com/"target= "_blank">Daisy Cooper</a>’s answers this morning, and here they are now.<br /><br /><blockquote>Pithy -<br /><br />We believe and trust in the power and potential of every individual to be whoever or whatever they want to be. We want to tear down the barriers in your way and we want to give you the tools and knowledge you need. It’s about freedom and we believe that to be truly free every person must be free from the shackles of poverty, ignorance and conformity. <br /><br /><br />What the LibDems stand for and how it relates to what we’ve done in government: <br /><br />We believe and trust in the power and potential of every individual to be whoever and whatever they want to be. We want to tear down the barriers in your way and we want to give you the tools and knowledge you need. It’s about freedom and we believe that to be truly free every person must be free from the shackles of poverty, ignorance and conformity. <br /><br />Individuals and communities must also be free from the crushing concentration of power in any institution wherever it exists – in the state, the media, in corporations or elsewhere; individuals should have the power to take the decisions that affect their lives. <br /><br />Our vision of society is built on a ‘holy trinity’ of individual freedom, social justice and repatriating powers back to people and communities. <br /><br />Labour believe in the power of the state, the Tories believe in the power of the markets, we believe and trust in the power of every individual to know what’s best – every individual like you. <br /><br />In government, Liberal Democrats have given individuals the freedom to decide how to spend more of their money by increasing the point at which low and middle earners start paying tax.<br /><br />By giving schools a pupil premium to help kids from the lowest income families, we’ve pulled down some of the barriers to children getting a good education. <br /><br />And in all our efforts in government to break up the banks, reform the House of Lords and curtail the monopoly of the big energy companies, we seek to wrestle power out of the hands of the few for the benefit and use of all. <br /><br />Liberal Democrats are committed to breaking up the fortresses of the rich, the powerful and the privileged and to fighting for a society in which individuals can take that power back and use it.</blockquote><br /><a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/liberal-mondays-10a-liz-lynnes-what.html"target= "_blank">Liz Lynne’s answers can be found here</a>. <br /><br />NB On Monday, the three contenders on the ballot paper were announced as Liz Lynne, Daisy Cooper and Sal Brinton. Linda Jack was unable to find enough people within the Liberal Democrats to support her nomination.<br /><br /><br /><H6>My Questions As Sent</H6><br />I have two related questions for you. Both are more concerned with politics than process. One is after a short two-pronged answer from the heart – had I been able to come to Conference, I would have preferred to put you on the spot with it in person to hear what you instinctively believe. The other question is asking you to come up with a longer, more thoughtful answer on our values that you’d be happy having the whole party say (as if anyone could ever persuade us to stick to one hymn-sheet).<br /><br /><b>Question One: What You Believe</b><br /><br />People say all politicians are the same. It’s hardest for us in Coalition, but there’s some truth in it when every party promises to give money to the low-paid and the NHS, or when every local candidate for every party talks about experience, hard work and listening to local people. So what really motivates you? What for you makes the Lib Dems different from any other party?<br /><br /><b>If someone asked you on the doorstep, the hustings or on TV to sum up in one or two sentences what the Lib Dems, uniquely, stand for – and then why anyone should vote for us – what are your answers? </b><br /><br />Past answerers include <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/exclusive-what-lib-dems-stand-for-by.html"target= "_blank">Presidential contenders</a> and <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/what-lib-dems-stand-for-by-four-mayoral.html"target= "_blank">London Mayoral candidates</a>.<br /><br /><br /><b>Question Two: What the Lib Dems Stand For</b><br /><br />Looking for something that’s more than a slogan or a soundbite but short enough to get in one go, imagine this answer as about one minute of a speech, or a box on a leaflet (perhaps 150-200 words, but that’s up to you). As you will be the voice of the Party if elected, can come up with something you think every party member could be happy saying or printing to explain What the Lib Dems Stand For? Something to enthuse and inspire Lib Dem believers and at the same time to attract and persuade potential supporters?<br /><br /><b>How would you link what makes us different, our philosophy, to what we’ve achieved in government, and what we want to do next? However you want to put that together, as specific or as thematic as you like. </b><br /><br />I start this as a meme that many other Lib Dems have answered over the past couple of years (if I ever get a wide enough selection in, I might publish a book of them!). If you want to see more about what that’s involved, <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/putting-whyiamin-into-what-lib-dems.html"target= "_blank">here’s my own latest version</a>, including links to where I’ve printed other Lib Dems’ ideas.<br /><br />Best of luck to each of you.<br /><br /><br />I had also spent some time trying to think of a ‘nasty’ question individually tailored to each of you – which I did for the last set of Presidential candidates and, going back further, for Nick and Chris in 2007. You may be relieved to read that I’ve decided not to ask those this time as I was unable to construct nasty questions of equal balance: the best I could think of for one of you was much too gentle, and for another of you, too bare-knuckle brutal. So that’s your lot from me!<br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-55244093877096895222014-10-20T12:00:00.000+01:002014-10-20T12:08:39.911+01:00Liberal Mondays 10a: Liz Lynne’s What the Liberal Democrats Stand For #LibDemValues<br />Ten days ago I emailed all four of the declared contenders to be the next Liberal Democrat President with questions (below) about their personal political philosophy and our shared Lib Dem values, to be published today. I received <a href="http://lizlynne.org.uk/en/"target= "_blank">Liz Lynne</a>’s answers last week, and here they are now.<br /><br /><blockquote>The Liberal Democrats exist to build a society where everyone has equality of opportunity, regardless of their background, gender, age, disability, race, sexual orientation, religion or belief.<br /><br />We believe everyone has the right to be themselves and we work to make sure that no one is enslaved by poverty, ignorance or conformity.<br /><br /><br />I believe passionately that we are the only party who genuinely want to stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves. People who don't have a voice. That is why I became a Liberal and then a Liberal Democrat to change the lives of people, to work to make sure they have somewhere to live, ability to work, a decent healthcare system, a good education for all regardless of background and a fair social security system so that if they are unable to work they are not pushed into poverty. Everyone should have the right to be who they are without anyone trying to change them. Genuine tolerance of all who do not have the same beliefs as ours.<br /><br />That is why I am proud of what we have achieved in Government. Turning the economy around, taking people out of tax at the bottom, raising pensions by at least 2.5% and putting the triple lock in, the pupil premium, a massive increase in apprenticeships, equal marriage, protecting peoples civil liberties. We have achieved a great deal but we could have achieved a great deal more if we had been governing by ourselves. We still have a long way to go before we have created a fair society and a stronger economy but by voting for us you will ensure that you will have people who are working towards that goal.</blockquote><br /><H6>My Questions As Sent</H6><br />I have two related questions for you. Both are more concerned with politics than process. One is after a short two-pronged answer from the heart – had I been able to come to Conference, I would have preferred to put you on the spot with it in person to hear what you instinctively believe. The other question is asking you to come up with a longer, more thoughtful answer on our values that you’d be happy having the whole party say (as if anyone could ever persuade us to stick to one hymn-sheet).<br /><br /><b>Question One: What You Believe</b><br /><br />People say all politicians are the same. It’s hardest for us in Coalition, but there’s some truth in it when every party promises to give money to the low-paid and the NHS, or when every local candidate for every party talks about experience, hard work and listening to local people. So what really motivates you? What for you makes the Lib Dems different from any other party?<br /><br /><b>If someone asked you on the doorstep, the hustings or on TV to sum up in one or two sentences what the Lib Dems, uniquely, stand for – and then why anyone should vote for us – what are your answers? </b><br /><br />Past answerers include <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/exclusive-what-lib-dems-stand-for-by.html"target= "_blank">Presidential contenders</a> and <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/what-lib-dems-stand-for-by-four-mayoral.html"target= "_blank">London Mayoral candidates</a>.<br /><br /><br /><b>Question Two: What the Lib Dems Stand For</b><br /><br />Looking for something that’s more than a slogan or a soundbite but short enough to get in one go, imagine this answer as about one minute of a speech, or a box on a leaflet (perhaps 150-200 words, but that’s up to you). As you will be the voice of the Party if elected, can come up with something you think every party member could be happy saying or printing to explain What the Lib Dems Stand For? Something to enthuse and inspire Lib Dem believers and at the same time to attract and persuade potential supporters?<br /><br /><b>How would you link what makes us different, our philosophy, to what we’ve achieved in government, and what we want to do next? However you want to put that together, as specific or as thematic as you like. </b><br /><br />I start this as a meme that many other Lib Dems have answered over the past couple of years (if I ever get a wide enough selection in, I might publish a book of them!). If you want to see more about what that’s involved, <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/putting-whyiamin-into-what-lib-dems.html"target= "_blank">here’s my own latest version</a>, including links to where I’ve printed other Lib Dems’ ideas.<br /><br />Best of luck to each of you.<br /><br /><br />I had also spent some time trying to think of a ‘nasty’ question individually tailored to each of you – which I did for the last set of Presidential candidates and, going back further, for Nick and Chris in 2007. You may be relieved to read that I’ve decided not to ask those this time as I was unable to construct nasty questions of equal balance: the best I could think of for one of you was much too gentle, and for another of you, too bare-knuckle brutal. So that’s your lot from me!<br /><br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-28066437622625987262014-10-13T14:09:00.002+01:002014-10-20T09:29:51.955+01:00Those Five Reasons Why Mr Farage Wants A July 2015 Referendum In Full<br /><b>One:</b> <blockquote>So he can disenfranchise all the people on holiday in [shudder] <i>Europe</i></blockquote><b>Two:</b> <blockquote>So he can cut off any campaigning period in which people might ask questions and get themselves informed rather than just voting with years of newspaper prejudices</blockquote><b>Three:</b> <blockquote>So he can promise to prop up a Tory Government of the far right… Then drop it after two months and run away laughing while Mr Cameron implodes</blockquote><b>Four:</b> <blockquote>So he can exploit what he assumes’ll be the public mood at the highest high water-mark of his populist Party’s popularity before the inevitable consequences of failure to deliver or (worse) compromise with another party or (worse) with reality by having to make a single difficult decision prove he’s just the same as all the other politicians</blockquote><b>Five:</b> <blockquote>…Er, that’s it.</blockquote><br /><br /><a href="http://www.libdemvoice.org/top-of-the-blogs-the-lib-dem-golden-dozen-394-42977.html"target= "_blank"><img src="http://www.libdemvoice.org/images/golden-dozen.png" width="200" height="57" alt="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" title="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" /></a>Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-9566336816253403172014-10-08T00:00:00.000+01:002014-10-20T09:33:57.887+01:00Lib Dem Conference On TV: Watching Where the Money Goes<br />I’m usually busy at Liberal Democrat Conferences. Writing speeches – sometimes even getting called to make them. Writing chunks of policy – sometimes even proposing them. Not writing a blog looking at the telly, while policies I’ve had nothing to do with are debated without my vote or voice. One I’m in two minds over. One I’m proud of. One taking baby steps but going nowhere near far enough. One that’s OK but should’ve been inspiring. One that’s unjust, unaffordable and unworkable. And the big picture: the very few places where my party puts any money where its mouth is.<br /><br />As my health has gone further downhill, in conference after conference I’ve made fewer speeches and attended fewer debates than I did five years ago, or ten, or twenty. It’s just a bit of a shock to go from steadily decreasing participation and days when I often have to stay in a hotel room rather than in the conference hall to zilch. Hopefully Richard and I will be back next year, more engaged once we’re married (though it’ll be much more expensive for me just as my low income’s been eradicated, thanks to government policies I can’t say I support). <br /><br />But there is one advantage to watching this Glasgow Conference on TV. I would be sitting in the hall fired up and wondering if I’ll be called to make my speech, listening to dreary meandering mumbles with nothing to say even if they could deliver it, where the only message is ‘My view on this crucial national issue is incoherent but involves a mind-bogglingly dull special plea for my own little local area’ – and it’s not just the MPs, some of the ordinary members are just as bad. I would be thinking hard at the sodding chair of the session, ‘It’s one thing not to call me to make the brilliant speech I’ve crafted so carefully, but calling <i>these</i> ones instead is just insulting.’<br /><br />At home, I don’t feel the urge to write a speech, I don’t have to worry if I can make it to the hall, and above all, I can record the debates and watch most of them with my finger on the fast-forward button!<br /><br />In my breaks from Lib Dem Conference, I’ve also been watching <i>Doctor Who – The Pirate Planet</i>, starring Tom Baker and written by Douglas Adams. This brilliant story, is I have to admit, better viewing than pretty much any Agenda item bar the Presentation On Same-Sex Marriage, and its second episode was first broadcast on this night back in 1978. At the time, part of it was a satire about the idea of an “economic miracle” for which no-one has to pay. It also turns out (spoilers) that behind the exponentially increasing devouring of the resources of whole worlds is someone very old to whom no demand is ever enough. <br /><br />So what’s been happening back at the Conference? <a href="http://www.libdems.org.uk/autumn_conference_2014"target= "_blank">You can read all the papers here</a>, and catch many of the debates via the BBC. But here’s why some debates particularly caught my attention… <br /><br /><br /><H6>“One Member, One Vote” </H6><br />I’m torn on this one. If party membership hadn’t been hollowed out, I’d be wary that these proposals sound like they’re about equality but actually even more heavily in favour of time-rich, money-rich people who happen to live close to the seaside (or, in this case, to Glasgow). The equivalent of electoral reform for the UK being to propose one person, one vote – as long as you can all pay a large registration fee to crowd into the same one polling station. In Glasgow. Or, discarding the party’s current constituency-based representative democracy model, like reforming the House of Commons by saying any UK citizen can turn up and vote there, as long as they can afford to pay to register and pay to stay in London. And I wasn’t totally convinced by the argument that our shrunken membership makes it less likely people will turn up to swing the votes, which seems like an argument that we should completely change the structures just to get no more people turn up anyway. That the proposals themselves were a badly-drafted mess from a Federal Executive that has been record-breakingly navel-gazing and incompetent in its faits accompli this year didn’t help.<br /><br />And yet… I’ve had times when I’ve been to conference without being an elected conference representative with a vote too, and it’s even more frustrating than being a conference representative who’s not at conference as I am today. The amendments stopped the constitution being turned into incoherence. And the arguments on the OMOV side were simply far better, with too many of those against resorting to pathetic ad hominem attacks. <br /><br />Watching from home, though, if every member is to get a vote not just if they attend conference but for the major party committees, the small changes in making conference easier to follow over the past few years need to accelerate mightily. During conferences, the party website must have a one-click ‘What is happening right now’ solution rather than a many-click ‘Somewhere here you can work it out’ puzzle box. The back-projections and the chairs of sessions need to give the site address several times during each debate and explain what’s going on in each vote, not just to make it clear to conference-goers rushing about, but to those more members we’re told will be freshly engaged and watching after OMOV. Announcing at the end what the votes have actually decided, rather than just reading out a list of numbers and letters, would help the TV watchers too.<br /><br />In a spirit of helpfulness, here’s one I prepared earlier: <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/making-it-easier-to-follow-liberal.html"target= "_blank">Making It Easier To Follow Liberal Democrat Conference</a>.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Towards Safer Sex Work</H6><br />Twenty years ago, I was newly elected to the Liberal Democrat Federal Policy Committee – the body that decides on the major policy proposals that go to Conference. I was the youngest person on it by more than ten years, the only out LGBT person on it (putting into perspective today’s debates over reducing ‘diversity’ to only one tick-box quota), and – <b>the unique thing about me that most mattered to me and which made the difference on the Committee</b> – by the reckoning both of those meaning it approvingly and those meaning it critically the most unfilteredly ideologically Liberal. One of the first policy papers that that year’s FPC discussed had something done to it that I can’t remember any other paper save election manifestos. Election manifestos come back several times for FPC debate because there’s so much in them and we need to get them right. This paper was sent away for redrafting not once but twice because it was simply too Liberal for the FPC. I can’t remember any other than wasn’t just redrafted a bit in committee, as was the norm, but rejected in total and sent away to be rewritten from top to bottom (possibly not the best words), then once we saw it again, told it was still too interesting and needed to be completely redrafted yet again. <br /><br />The neutered and regulation-heavy paper that was eventually permitted to creep into Conference was titled “Confronting Prostitution”. I bear some responsibility for that overly confrontational language: I was the one who pointed out to the FPC that the title “Tackling Prostitution” might be open to ribald remarks and we should get our tackle out. <br /><br />It wasn’t a bad paper. It advanced us well ahead of the other parties. But I always looked at it with disappointment, because the policy working group had followed its remit, followed the evidence, and followed Liberalism in drafting a civil liberties paper that the FPC gutted stage by stage until it was about ‘getting them off the streets’. When the first draft came to FPC, it was the only policy paper that was ever so unpopular that just one solitary FPC member supported it as it stood. You will not be surprised to read that it was not the only time in which I was in a minority of one, but it was the most significant. <br /><br />So I was very proud to watch all of Saturday afternoon’s debate, to see how far we’ve come. I particularly recommend you <a href="http://www.sarahlizzy.com/blog/?p=260"target= "_blank">read Sarah Brown’s speech</a>, but I was really pleased at how sensible and Liberal the overwhelming majority of the speakers – and the votes – were, including protecting sex workers both from exploitation and from the state, rejecting the idea of reintroducing ID Cards but just for sex workers, and setting out the principle that informed, consenting sex should simply be legal and is nobody else’s business (even if it’s a business). Well done, Conference! I just hope now that the next FPC will not be as timid about the forthcoming policy paper as its predecessor two decades ago. So if you have a vote, vote for the candidates with some Liberal ideas rather than just a CV on their manifesto.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Doing What Works To Cut Crime</H6><br />I liked this policy paper – it sets out a practical, evidence-based approach to cutting crime. But its piecemeal nature means it looks more like a compilation than a coherent whole. So I welcome the commitment to crime prevention. And civil liberties. And evidence-based baby-step liberalisation of our useless, gangster-boosting drug laws. And to the interests of victims. <br /><br />But a bigger question that the paper doesn’t ask is that if we want fewer victims, what about the victimless? What about ‘crimes’ that are not about protecting any victim but only about the state victimising people that aren’t hurting anyone else? Because it’s not only criminals who attack you that can be bullies. The state can, too. And if you want to prevent crime, expand freedom, cut the ground from under gangsters and have fewer victims, then setting out the principle that <b>‘victimless crimes’ should simply not be crimes at all</b> is something I’d like to see as the keystone of our next crime paper when it looks at evidence for how to implement that. <br /><br /><br /><H6>The Liberal Democrat 2014 Pre-Manifesto – A Stronger Economy and A Fairer Society</H6><br /><a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/liberal-mondays-9-nick-clegg-on-today.html"target= "_blank">I wrote a little about this yesterday</a>, looking at the Introduction and how that’s changed and improved on previous attempts – though it lacks a short, stirring rallying call of <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/putting-whyiamin-into-what-lib-dems.html"target= "_blank">What the Liberal Democrats Stand For</a>.<br /><br />The whole thing’s pretty good. And I particularly liked Duncan Brack’s closing peroration in the debate (Duncan, if you’re reading, please send me your speech and I’ll print some of it in a Liberal Monday). I have to admit, though, save the much-purloined policy to further raise the personal allowance for the lower-paid, I’m a bit hard-pressed to remember a ‘wow’ policy. That suggests that its narrative isn’t all that thrilling. And then at the last minute, someone came along and diluted the best bit.<br /><br />I might have been tempted to vote against it for the drafting amendment announced this morning: the problem with an amendment that’s accepted into the text at the last minute is that no-one gets to debate it or speak against it. Several years ago, there was a crappy Guardianista fad for “wellbeing”, a meaningless top-down political concept like a New Labour zombie. <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2011/09/new-purpose-for-politics-is-it-bollocks.html"target= "_blank">The Lib Dems made the great mistake</a> of deciding it was the biggest of big ideas, with almost zero enthusiasm, and since then have sheepishly never mentioned it again because it’s a load of rubbish. Until this policy motion, when some utter fool wanted to add it and the bigger fools on the FPC let them. Worse, it means that the motion as passed says that the one big thing we’re really about is “above all to empower every person to realise their potential” – oh, and also “wellbeing”! Which is crud. It’s not one task. It’s two. It means the inspiring, Liberal, bottom-up idea that we are about enabling everyone to decide their own life is now knitting together with top-down Blairite mulch about how we should decide what’s good for people. As no-one mentioned it in the debate, proving yet again how pathetically uninspiring the idea is, my advice is just to pretend it isn’t there. <br /><br />But at least the Pre-Manifesto remembered to talk quite a bit about the deficit, and didn’t pretend you can fix it while bringing in no new tax revenue at all and giving massive handouts to the wealthiest.<br /><br /><br /><H6>Did We Forget About the Deficit After All? The Big Four Spending Commitments</H6><br />The Pre-Manifesto was very tough on the deficit this morning. Then there was a huge splurge this afternoon. <br /><br />I’m not against huge splurges (no, titter ye not). But the Liberal Democrats have carefully costed our Manifestos for more than two decades to only promise what we can afford, even in the good times when the money was rolling in (though less than the Labour Government pretended). Now the money’s not just tight but gone, it’s all the more obvious where the few extra bits are going – while everything else gets slashed.<br /><br /><ul><li>The Liberal Democrats are committed to protecting and expanding spending for schools and early years education – we always have. It’s probably our single most consistent commitment.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li>We’re committed to increasing pensions through the so-called ‘triple lock’ (heads, tails or side, pensioners always win big).<br /></ul></li> <ul><li>We’re committed to raising the income tax allowance to the level of the current minimum wage – but that isn’t ‘locked’, so it can be eaten away by inflation.<br /></ul></li> <ul><li>And we’re now also committed to above-inflation increases in the NHS budget. All the previous three follow on from the big promises the Liberal Democrats made in the 2010 election, all three of which were delivered in the LiberaTory Coalition. This one is different: it also happened for every year of the Coalition, but at the last election it wasn’t promised by either the Liberal Democrats or Labour. This part of the Coalition’s record now taken up by every party was only a Tory commitment. We forced them to agree to the others – they forced us to agree to this one.</ul></li> <br>These four spending commitments are massive. And everything else will have to suffer. <br><br>I remember in 2001 – in what Labour told us were the boom years – I put out a really good leaflet across the constituency for which I was standing for election. ‘Follow the money’, I thought, and so this was all about the two biggest spending commitments in our 2001 Manifesto. On one side, a picture of me with local kids, with details of our proposals for children and education and how we’d pay for them. On the other, a picture of me with local pensioners, with details of our proposals for old people and pensions and how we’d pay for them. <br><br>I thought this was a great idea until a working person without kids told me angrily, “So you’re offering me nothing, then. I just have to pay for it all.” That should have occurred to me: I was a working person without kids. But though we’d said in our 1997 Manifesto that we’d raise the personal allowance for the low-paid, by 2001 we’d dropped that from our priorities to give a massive bung to pensioners. And back then that didn’t even include the earnings link and ‘triple lock’. <br><br>Today we have even less money. We’ve restored the policy of cutting taxes for low-earners – and made it a reality for millions despite <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/lib-dem-fair-taxes-reverse-poll-tax.html"target= "_blank">the Tories wanting a tax cut for dead millionaires instead</a> and Labour opposing it because they want government hand-outs only to the people they say deserve it rather than letting all the low-paid keep their own money. But that wasn’t a choice between generations. Something for children; something for working people; something for pensioners; now something for the NHS for everyone. <br><br>I just don’t think this can hold – because four massive commitments of extra cash is too many without squeezing everything else until it pops. And one of those four is not like the others. Only one has had no hard choices at all – just constant rises. <br><br><br><H6>Age Ready Britain</H6><br>Back when I was healthy enough to stand for elections, I went through an assessment to see if I was politically fit to be a Liberal Democrat Parliamentary candidate. I passed with flying colours, and can still remember my going all Churchill to the assessor role-playing an anti-asylum-seeker voter on the doorstep (as well as remembering that I’d only use the word “refugee”). One of the parts of the approval process of which I most approved in turn was the point where you had to prove you had a Liberal brain by identifying a party policy that you disagreed with and explaining why. I think at the time it was something about well-meaningly bossing young people about – a “wellbeing” policy, if you will – and, if I thought today about which I considered our most <i>wrong</i> policy, I would quite happily blast that Blairite twaddle of a “wellbeing” paper out of existence. But as it’s already been wiped from everyone’s memory through its very blandness, I would answer that the policy I most disagree with is one that has been made even more disagreeable today. <br><br><b>Our policy on pensions is generous, warm-hearted, well-meaning and attractive. <br><br>It’s a shame that it’s completely out of touch with reality.</b><br><br>This morning, the Liberal Democrats voted for a Pre-Manifesto that constantly repeats that it is all about “the next generation” and uses that as a primary argument for reducing the massive deficit between what the government spends and the money it has – that we must spend less now rather than saddle ever-increasing debts onto the next generation. <br><br>This afternoon, the Liberal Democrats voted for our biggest spending commitment not only to remain humungous increases for pensioners when every single other group in society is suffering cuts, but to put that vast and ever-increasing cost into law so that it can never be changed. <br><br><b>Completely unworkable.</b><br><br>The first time I ever spoke on what might be called the party ‘establishment’ side, after many years of being the radical outsider, was sometime roughly around the year 2000. It was in a debate on pensions that saw the unlikely bedfellows of young people, the party Leadership and elderly members of the House of Lords on one side, with middle-aged Parliamentary candidates on the other. The Parliamentary candidates wanted to restore the link between earnings and pensions because it was very popular. The rest of us said that it was a mistake to make that a principle because we could afford it today – as we then thought, not realising that even in the boom years the Labour Government was already running an unaffordable budget deficit – because there would come the twin pressures of an ageing population and a less rosy economy, and then we’d be stuck with a policy that wasn’t affordable. I can’t remember precisely my age, but I can remember my speech’s opening line that got people’s attention (and got a few boos): <blockquote>“Conference, I’m twenty-eight. And I want a pensions policy that doesn’t make me pay through the nose and then go bankrupt before I get anywhere near claiming it.”</blockquote>Back then, sense won the day. Somehow, between then and now, as the nation has got older and the economy has gone down the toilet, as the side that won back then have been proved right, we’ve gone ahead and gone for the unreal option anyway. <br><br>A ‘triple lock’ on pensions ratchets up without end, so that whatever happens to wages, or inflation, or the nation’s finances, however children or working people or people on benefits or services or anything else under the sun suffer, one group alone will forever get more and more money even as that group gets bigger and bigger. <br><br>We promised it at the last Election. We were wrong. <br><br>We’ve delivered it in government. We were wrong. <br><br>Today, we’ve proposed locking it into legislation so that every other group, every other service, every other dire need must always by law be subordinate to pensioners not just not contributing much to the cuts, not just staying still, but getting more, more, more while everyone and everything else gets less, less, less. We are stupidly, impossibly wrong. <br><br>With today’s pressure on the public finances, this is not merely utterly unworkable but utterly unjust. <br><br>I argued for pensions increases and other spending to help pensioners back in 2001. I meant it. It was the right thing to do when we could (seemingly) afford it. I didn’t argue for massive age discrimination and a huge and ever-increasing transfer of wealth from the current generation and the next generation to pensioners who will never be all in this together even when we can afford none of it. Because I’m an idealist, not a complete fantasist. <br><br>The Party Leadership and speakers in the debate today told the brave souls who stood up against this dangerous absurdity that they were wrong to say that ever-increasing numbers of pensioners getting a never-ending increase above the country’s wealth was unaffordable, because we just don’t understand the numbers. They didn’t say what the numbers were. Because… Because… Because… It’s magic! Government spending is still way above the money it takes. Everything and everyone else is struggling to keep their heads above water. The benefits bill is being slashed and people having their benefits cut or cruelly taken away altogether – the one exception being the vast majority of the benefits bill, the vast majority of benefits claimants, all of whom get much more than any other benefits recipients. They are the pensioners. But pouring extra cash into by far the biggest chunk of the benefits budget is “affordable”, we were told, and we just don’t understand if we say the emperor has no money to get clothes. <br><br>How stupid do they think we are? <br><br>One MP replied to criticism – from the unlikely bedfellows of Liberal Reform and a leading member of the Social Liberal Forum – by saying that we shouldn’t turn this into a fight between the generations. Well, that’s exactly what you do say when you’re the victor enjoying all the spoils, but not when you’re the side left bleeding and looted. Behind the scenes, they spin something else: not that it’s right, but that “pensioners vote”, so we need to throw money at them even if we have to mortgage the next generation’s future by borrowing half of it and mug the current working generation for the rest. <br><br>Ever wondered why the Tories so readily went along with a massive bung to pensioners – and took the credit? Maybe some of it was that when they got into power Mr Cameron still wanted to detoxify them and saw pensions as a totem that they were now the Nice Party to one group, at least. Before they rediscovered their taste for celebrating kicking the poor in the nuts. <b>But why, do you think, were the Tories so happy to increase pensions while they slash and bash every other benefits claimant? It’s not rocket science, is it? Yes, “pensioners vote”. Pensioners vote <i>Tory</i>.</b> Our most unrealistically expensive policy has been to make everyone else suffer, infamously cutting at our own core voters, to give a massive advantage to the Conservative core vote. For which the Conservatives get all the credit and we see our vote, as it always is, weaker the older the voting demographic gets. <br><br>We.<br>Can’t.<br>Afford.<br>This.<br><br>There are several good ideas in the Age Ready Britain Paper. There’s also the biggest infection of any policy paper this Conference of, yes, more twaddle about patronising “wellbeing” again, which is just a neon light for me to say that if I had been at Conference I would have urged the other Liberal Democrats to hurl it out and shred it, and start considering fiscal reality, fairness and the next generation’s future. <br><br><a href="http://www.libdemvoice.org/top-of-the-blogs-the-lib-dem-golden-dozen-393-42903.html"target= "_blank"><img src="http://www.libdemvoice.org/images/golden-dozen.png" width="200" height="57" alt="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" title="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" /></a><br><br>Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-53508304516867494782014-10-06T23:46:00.000+01:002014-10-07T02:30:45.820+01:00Liberal Mondays 9: Nick Clegg on Today (Today) #LibDemValues<br />I’m not at Liberal Democrat Autumn Conference in Glasgow this week. It’s the first I’ve missed in about twenty years, and I <i>am</i> missing it – Richard and I would love to be there, but we’re getting married in twenty days’ time and just don’t have the time or the money. Following it on TV, one person who you can’t miss in Glasgow is Nick Clegg. This morning he was interrupted – I can’t say interviewed – on the <i>Today</i> Programme, so his latest answer on what the Lib Dems stand for is the latest of my <i><a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Liberal%20Mondays"target= "_blank">Liberal Mondays</a></i> quotations… <br /><br /><br /><H6>The Limits of the “Centre” and the Bigger Limitations of the “Interviewer”</H6><br />Some of the random shouting by the random talentless hack from their researchers’ random shouting points and the Labour Party’s random propaganda points on <i>Today</i> this morning involved sneering at “Stronger Economy, Fairer Society” and shouting at Nick Clegg, <blockquote>“Where is your core identity? What is it that the Lib Dems stand for?”</blockquote>Obviously, none of the random shouting involved listening or engaging with the answer – yawn, he’s answering the question, bored now, time to hear my own voice again – but I’ve managed to piece together what Nick was allowed to get a word in edgeways with in his latest short summary of what the Liberal Democrats stand for. <br /><br />Earlier in the interview, Nick summed us up in part with a line that doesn’t appeal to me at all, but here goes: <blockquote>“The Liberal centre ground is where we’ve always been anchored, and where we’ve sought to anchor the government.”</blockquote>I love the word “Liberal” – but I suspect those who aren’t tribal Liberals, which would be probably in excess of 99% of the population, don’t really respond to a tribal label. Only a minority, too, might respond to a concept, like “Freedom”, but it’ll be a lot more than those that identify with the label. Instead, the concept is “Centre” – which is meant to sound like ‘at the centre of things’ (if only one centre among, er, several in the same place?), but just sounds to me (and I suspect to almost everyone) like a statement that we don’t stand for anything of our own, splitting the difference between the others, neither one thing nor the other but somewhere… Quite a long way behind these days. <br /><br />To be fair, there are advantages to the “centre” message. It lets you say your opponents are extreme and that only you are reasonable (isn’t really true but which might persuade) or that only you can rein them in (which is really true but which no-one believes). Nick came through with this strongly when contrasting the LiberaTory Coalition with what the Tories are gagging to do if they get “in power on their own” without us to tell them “No”: he focused on last week’s Tory Conference ‘Osborne bombshell’, where the Chancellor wants to abandon taxing the rich more (such as by the Liberal Democrats getting Capital Gains Tax raised above the previous <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/things-to-remember-about-labour-4.html"target= "_blank">Labour Government’s rich-bribing low level</a>) and through eye-watering cuts alone <blockquote>“only ask the working age poor to pick up the tab for the mistakes made by the bankers and the black hole in the public finances”.</blockquote>What you might call the Tories’ “No-tax bombshell”.<br /><br />The weakness in the “centre” came when Nick tried to attack Labour in the same way, claiming that “Labour move rapidly to the Left”. I don’t think they’re moving anywhere. They’re just a frightened vacuum. And though Nick drew attention to Mr Miliband’s cowardly and incompetent inability even to mention the massive deficit left by Labour, that cowardice and incompetence isn’t red-blooded Leftism. It’s the biggest symptom of an inability to make up their minds about anything at all in the face of a terrifying reality that would tear them apart. But that doesn’t fit with us being ‘somewhere in between’. Nick wanted people to give us credit for “holding firm”, I suppose in a rebuttal of “the centre cannot hold” – but that only opened him up to the interviewer’s sole moment of demonstration that she wasn’t merely a non-Turing-compliant iDevice programmed to shout a limited number of dumb phrases on repeat: <blockquote>“Holding firm is not an ideology.”</blockquote>Though I wait for any <i>Today</i> presenter ever to ask what either of the other two stand for and cut them off when their only answer is ‘Labour would tax you more and be nice to poor people and immigrants’ (the latter two points of which, unfortunately, aren’t even true) or ‘We’re shit, and we know we are, but oooooh! The Tories! Scary!’ (which is all true, but still gives me no reason to touch them with a barge pole and has nearly killed Labour in Scotland).<br /><br /><br /><H6>Nick Clegg’s Answer To “Where is your core identity? What is it that the Lib Dems stand for?” </H6><br /><blockquote>“I’ll tell you exactly where we stand, and I feel this has always been the case.<br /><br />“On the Left you’ve got socialism, the Labour Party, which is all about the state telling people what’s good for them; you’ve got the Right, the Conservative Party, that basically wants to keep the pecking order as it is.<br /><br />“What has always distinguished British Liberalism, and I feel this very strongly, is an absolute, a huge emphasis on <b>opportunity</b> – that what everybody in politics should be about is trying to spread opportunity, such that everyone can get ahead in life, can live out their dreams, can use their talents to the greatest possible extent. <br /><br />“And that’s why if you look at the signature tune things that we’ve done – I mean, don’t listen to the words, what we’ve <i>done</i>, our actions, judge us by our actions – whether it’s the massive expansion in apprenticeships, the huge transformation of the tax system so people on low pay keep more money as they work, or the very heavy emphasis on early years education, childcare, putting money into schools that cater for disadvantaged children. <br /><br />“All of that is about opportunity.”</blockquote><br />That is much better, and I’m glad Nick got to say most of it.<br /><br />It feels recognisably Liberal in spirit as well as in label.<br /><br />It’s something that Nick clearly believes, and is right at his heart, and that always helps when a politician says what they believe.<br /><br />Though he didn’t say “Stronger Economy, Fairer Society” after the sneering, it chimes right in with that while sounding much more positive and definite than “Centre”.<br /><br />And it links all that to our priorities in government. <br /><br />It’s in many ways the same sort of thing I’ve been trying to do with my <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/What%20the%20Lib%20Dems%20Stand%20For "target= "_blank">What the Liberal Democrats Stand For</a> series, unifying ideology with our record in practice (<a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/putting-whyiamin-into-what-lib-dems.html"target= "_blank">latest version here</a>; <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-liberal-democrat-what-do-we-stand_19.html"target= "_blank">version with explanations here</a>). <br /><br />Any Liberal Democrat could say it themselves or stick it on a leaflet and not feel, ‘Oh, well, if I really have to.’<br /><br />It isn’t perfect. In my own <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/What%20the%20Lib%20Dems%20Stand%20For "target= "_blank">What the Liberal Democrats Stand For</a> series, I’ve made a point of saying what <i>we</i> stand for – and Nick had already done his knocking copy, and been told not to talk about the others, but us. So starting with another attack on them was a mistake. It was a mistake because it made the statement about them. <br /><br />Nick, next time you do this, if you must waste positive time being negative, take a tip from the “yeah, yeah, yeah, <i>yeahhhh</i>!” pre-chorus that propelled <i>She Loves You</i> irresistibly to Number One. If you stick otherwise to exactly the same words, then at least let your opening be “The Liberal Democrats are about opportunity for everyone.” People listen to your first line. Make it the most important and the most appealing.<br /><br />And though your actual one-line sum-ups of the Labour and Conservative Parties were both fine, your first words about them were Centre-propagandist dumb: <blockquote>“On the Left you’ve got socialism, the Labour Party…”</blockquote>No, Nick. You haven’t. Leave the word behind. Labour left it behind more than twenty years ago. People so terrified that Ed Miliband is a revolutionary socialist coming to chop their heads down to size will not be voting for us anyway. The vast majority simply will not recognise that as reality, just as Mr Miliband is too frightened to recognise reality. He is not a socialist. He is not anything. He is a pitiful vacuum. <br /><br />I nod to “trying to spread opportunity, such that everyone can get ahead in life, can live out their dreams, can use their talents to the greatest possible extent.” That’s my inspiration too. I recognise the issue that’s been closest to your heart since before you became Leader in talking with such passion about opportunity and about early years education. I just wish that for all the investment, the passion and the genuine commitment, you could say the word “education” without having cut the ground out under you biggest priority by everyone else hearing “tuition fees”. And you were cut off, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you would have got round to mentioning the environment after criticising Mr Cameron for not talking about it any more. <br /><br />And it’s a shame that the “interviewer” gave one of her many parroted lines from the Labour Party press office in ruling out any examples of what we’ve done in office connecting to what we believe by saying as ‘fact’ that it’s just a Conservative Government with our support. Too many people believe that. The BBC presenting a stupid Labour lie as a fact doesn’t help. But though you won’t convince everyone – or, I fear, anything like enough people – by saying ‘here are our values, and here’s how we’ve put them into practice in government’, you need to keep at it. Because only saying either without the other will give far fewer people even than that a reason to vote for us. <br /><br />Possibly wise to find a better phrase than “don’t listen to the words,” though.<br /><br /><br /><H6>How Nick Today Was Better Than Nick On Other Days</H6><br />It’s not what I would have said. But it’s in tune with what I would have said, and recognisably from the same sort of ideological place. And while it has its own weaknesses, it’s much better than some of Nick’s (and others’) previous statements of what we stand for. I’ll be kind and not repeat what he said in his second debate against Nigel Farage – focus-grouped to death, palpably making him uncomfortable, and the least Liberal ‘statement of principles’ I’ve ever seen from a British Liberal Leader – but it compares very well with the <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/nick-and-vince-answer-why-vote-lib-dem.html"target= "_blank">messaged-to-death message at the last General Election</a>, for example. That brought everything down to one word: “Fairness”. <br /><br />Now, I’d say that Fairness is certainly among Liberalism’s crucial concepts, but on its own it’s just not the one thing we’re about. Fairness should be in the service of something else. Nick says “Opportunity”. I can go with that. I’d say “Freedom” – and it’s always depressing and also a bit bizarre <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJG_E3_y74I"target= "_blank">when I’m the only Liberal who seems to be saying that</a>. But it wasn’t just that “Fairness” was only our number one in 2010 because it was what the focus groups said: it was, like several other things in that Election, a hostage to fortune that sounded good during the election but killed us afterwards. It’s absolutely true that throughout the LiberaTory Coalition Government the Liberal Democrats have made the cuts and hard choices fairer than the Tories wanted. But without a Tory Government to measure that against, nobody sees it. It’s absolutely true that the gap between rich and poor – which the previous Labour Government made wider and wider with their doubling tax on the poor and bungs to the rich – has fallen under the LiberaTory Coalition Government, fallen sharply, for the first time since I was at primary school. But when that proof of fairness comes not in the happy way – by lifting everyone up, but those at the bottom most – but in the painful way, by everyone suffering but taking most from the rich and protecting the poor, then nobody feels that it’s “fair”. Because no-one who suffers ever thinks it is fair for them to suffer. It’s a risk to say the one thing you stand for is Fairness even if you’re awash with money, because no effing voter is ever grateful. But to say the one thing you stand for is Fairness when you know that the most you can do is make everybody hurt in the fairest way is pretty close to suicidal.<br /><br />Where you’ll find the closest relative of Nick’s <i>Today</i> statement today is, unsurprisingly, in the <a href="http://www.libdems.org.uk/policy_paper_121 "target= "_blank">Liberal Democrats’ new Pre-Manifesto</a>, and in Nick’s Introduction to it. As is usually the case, the section on what we stand for is relegated to a ‘personal view’ by the Leader, as if presenting it as actual philosophy or, worse, ideology for a party would send readers screaming to the hills. As is always the case, this is written in part by Nick, in part literally by a committee (the Liberal Democrat Federal Policy Committee, if you want to tell them what you think of it), partly by staff and partly by another committee whose names you’ll find at the back of the booklet. But of course it’s Nick’s every word, officially. Comparing what Nick says in the booklet in these three pages with what he said on the radio in three paragraphs gives you an idea of what’s really closest to his heart. <br /><br />For me, the Introduction to the 2014 Pre-Manifesto is one of the best that the party has produced. I think – after usually complaining that they’re far too short – that it should really have a short version, probably on the front or back cover. <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/putting-whyiamin-into-what-lib-dems.html"target= "_blank">Here’s one I prepared earlier</a>. But it’s persuasive, it’s distinctively Liberal, and the middle one of the three pages gives our policy priorities for the future in a way that fits seamlessly into what we’re about. But without a summary or a short version, it’s not quite clear that there’s one word that motivates it – which is probably quite right, as complex politics don’t usually reduce to just one word. Mine is “Freedom” and, hurrah! for the first time in ages, that appears there quite a lot. Nick’s is “Opportunity”. So does that. Yet though Freedom would be my one word, I’ve more often summed us up with three: “Freedom, Fairness, Future”. Between those, I can pull out most of our policies, as well as thinking they work as a buzzword condensed Liberalism (and, yes, I’m a sucker for alliteration too). So it’s notable that “Future” starts out as the main buzzword in this Introduction, repeated three times in the first line alone. Then, on the middle page, it becomes “the next generation”, repeated in six of the seven priorities and, though in different words, what the seventh is all about – as were most of Nick’s examples in his interview. Then “free”, “Liberal” and “opportunity” all stand out several times, the latter prominent but noticeably less than in Nick’s speeches, but the meaning of all three driving the first and third pages just as the next generation drives the priorities. By contrast, Fairness doesn’t actually appear on its own as a positive noun, instead standing at the back as a few slightly embarrassed adjectives. I hope to get time to write about the Pre-Manifesto in more detail, but if I can’t, it’s interesting that I’ve gone from unusually critical of the centrality of Fairness to the Liberal Democrat message to making it unusually prominent, just by staying still. I suspect Nick is more comfortable using the word closest to his heart this time round. <br /><br /><br /><H6><i>Today</i> Is So Yesterday</H6><br />It’ll still be on the iPlayer for a bit, but I wouldn’t bother listening to the whole ‘interview’. And not because of Nick.<br /><br />Some journalists – by which I mean presenters, not journalists, as they neither write anything nor ever find anything out – want nothing other than to be the next Jeremy Paxman. This is a crapulent ambition, as the old Jeremy Paxman had been an unwatchable panto caricature for decades before he retired to spend time with his many-times-larger-than-any-politician-public-salary millions. Unfortunately, one of the worst examples of this disease is the <i>Today</i> Programme, once a flagship for holding politicians to account and now an unlistenable presenters’ masturbation demonstration with no interest in presenting or prying out information. The ‘big beast’ interviewers, or interrupters, have spent decades now doing nothing but making up their minds about some tiny fiddling point and then constantly repeating it until either the interviewee ‘admits’ to it – which lets them crow – or gets fed up and asks why they’re obsessed with some tiny fiddling point that no listener gives a toss about – which lets them say no-one answers their questions. Or they just talk over people so they never get a chance to answer a question because, oh, anyone else but their own voice is so boring, right?<br /><br />Evan Davis had been a breath of fresh air: a journalist who knew what he was talking about and who used that to listen to answers and engage intelligently with them, which made him able to genuinely interrogate his subjects and inform his listeners. He’s been recruited to replace Mr Paxman, which suggests <i>Newsnight</i> is acting on a long-buried desire to become a critical news programme again instead of a long-running ‘argument’ sketch that shows why Monty Python were so wise to do a limited run. I’d like to hope that Mr Davis becomes a great success and a household name, making other presenters wish to be the next Evan Davis instead. It’s not a very confident hope, though, because to know what you’re talking about requires both talent and a lot of hard work. It’s far easier to just shout random things your researchers have told you and not let people finish the answers that you’re too stupid to understand anyway. Who does that inform, exactly?<br /><br />This morning some talentless hack ‘interviewed’ Nick Clegg. I can’t remember her name. I doubt anyone else can. She may as well have come from the same mould as so many ambitious but lazy men and women who want to be Jeremy Paxman. Her equally lazy researchers had given her several stupidly untrue statements to shout and then shout again when Nick contradicted her with something boring like facts. And she got bored when he started answering her questions and decided it was time we heard her voice again. It’s all part of the <i>Today</i> Programme’s inevitable transmogrification into <i><a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/total-lack-of-thought-for-day-christina.html"target= "_blank">Thought For the Day</a></i>, the part of the programme I always turn the volume off for and put on a music track instead. Before long they’ll decide that politicians, alternative views and tedious <i>facts</i> only get in the way of not just three minutes of <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/12/thought-for-day.html"target= "_blank">semi-religious inanity</a> but the far more important three hours of presenters’ egos. Someone with very ill-thought-out opinions says something bland and obvious in a monologue for which no-one can hold them to account: bishops today, <i>Today</i> presenters tomorrow. A radio shouting in a human ear, forever.<br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-82947658809167554522014-10-05T16:07:00.000+01:002014-10-05T16:15:35.590+01:00Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – Who’s In the Wrong? Ron or Hermione?<br />Are you a cat person or a rat person? As forced polling choices go, that one would have a particularly predictable majority answer. But like a lot of forced polling, my answer to the pollster would be, ‘Can I have another choice, please, because <i>anything but rat</i> isn’t good enough?’ and my real opinion would be that I’m more a people person. There’s a related row in the comments to the <i>Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban</i> <a href= "http://www.tor.com/blogs/2014/10/the-harry-potter-reread-the-prisoner-of-azkaban-chapters-13-and-14 "target= "_blank">Tor re-read</a>. It’s really ‘Are you Ron or a Hermione person?’ and, spoilers, I’ve had some thoughts about the moral responsibilities here… <br /><br />If you’ve not read the book – well, this will make less sense, but you can still read it as a summary of some of my ethical reasoning. In short (spoilers), we have three kids in a wizard boarding school: Harry, Ron and Hermione. Their friendship is tested in this book of the series when Hermione buys a huge, aggressive cat that has it in for Ron’s small, cowering rat. It later turns out that all is not as it seems, and that the rat is not only more scared of something else than the cat, but not a rat at all. But in the meantime, Hermione keeps being what I will charitably describe as careless, and eventually the inevitable appears to happen: blood and cat hairs are found where the rat should be. Afterwards, Ron and Hermione don’t talk to each other except to snipe.<br /><br />Here’s what I said on the <a href= "http://www.tor.com/blogs/2014/10/the-harry-potter-reread-the-prisoner-of-azkaban-chapters-13-and-14 "target= "_blank">Tor re-read</a> comments thread… <br /><br />I don’t doubt that Ron should try to be nicer to Hermione, because he’s her friend. It’s hard to do, but he should still make the effort. But blaming him alone for not doing so is blaming him for not being massively morally superior to Hermione, whose behaviour is despicable. It holds them to ridiculously different standards. And every time I re-read these chapters, I pay more attention to the details and find myself getting more furious with Hermione.<br /><br />Let’s go through the levels of moral culpability here. <br /><br /><br /><H6>Cat Vs Rat</H6><br />A cat attacks a rat? As everyone says, that’s just what cats do. That is a fact that everyone knows. ‘Everyone’ certainly includes Hermione, because it’s at least as true in the Muggle as the wizarding word, and even if she’d somehow never even seen a cat-vs-mouse cartoon and was preternaturally unobservant in her Muggle childhood, Ron has pointed this out to her many times. So were things as they seemed, there would be no moral culpability on either animal.<br /><br />It turns out later that things are not what they seem. So we can re-examine two moral actors here. The cat is probably (though, awkwardly, never stated as such in the text) half-kneazle, a magical creature that senses dodginess in some ill-defined way, and is going after a disguised human it knows to be no good. We certainly know that “Scabbers” is morally wrong in hindsight. Without knowing for sure about Crookshanks and about what level of intelligence part-kneazles have, we can’t say whether this is just an animal acting on a slightly more sophisticated instinct (and therefore has no moral bearing) or something closer to a person acting as a vigilante (which is a whole other moral debate). <br /><br />So that leaves the two human owners. We know that Ron and Hermione are friends and are supposed to care for and respect each other (and, hopefully to a lesser extent, care for and respect their pets). We also know that they both believe their pets to be, respectively, rat and cat – they are not at this point aware of the true facts. And we know that both, as well as being emotional teenagers, are also pretty intelligent and unusually capable of logical reasoning for their age (it’s tempting to put more responsibility on Hermione here, but remember Ron and chess).<br /><br /><br /><H6>Consequences Vs Intent</H6><br />There is one partial justification for Hermione in moral theory, but it happens to be a moral theory I think is a load of rubbish. If you happen to believe that you can only ever judge by consequences, then any level of behaviour and intent isn’t just forgivable but ethically good as long as it works out all right in the end, however unlikely that may have seemed in advance. You can be selfish, vindictive, cruel, hateful, utterly reckless or solipsistic, but if the outcome by some miracle turns out to the good, that makes you and your intent morally right. That to me is pure sophistry or, in plainer language, utter cobblers. It’s reasonable to say to a person who is selfish, vindictive, reckless or any of the rest that they were in the wrong but, no harm done, you won’t be as harsh as you would had something terrible actually happened (whether they wanted it to happen or just didn’t care). But that doesn’t make their actions and intentions moral.<br /><br />In this case, even if you go to the extremes of saying that because Crookshanks didn’t actually eat Scabbers and so there were no bad consequences at the point Scabbers disappeared, that still means that for consequentialists Hermione is not ‘good’ but only <i>partially</i> in the wrong. She has still already been wrong for repeatedly ignoring her friend’s wishes, showing him a complete lack of respect, and invading his privacy and letting her pet tear his clothes (which his family can ill-afford to replace and which the very well-off Hermione doesn’t offer to) and bloody him. Those are already factual consequences. Being wrong about what appears to be the final act doesn’t change any of them. Even to a consequentialist, Hermione is still morally culpable for all of that.<br /><br />But for me, morals depend on intent and actions and not merely accidental results, so Hermione is far more in the wrong. <br /><br /><br /><H6>Acting Like Only You Matter In the Whole World</H6><br />Ron and Hermione both believe their pets to be ordinary animals. They both know what cats and rats do both in general and in their particular case – Crookshanks has repeatedly attacked Scabbers. Ron has many times told Hermione to keep her cat away from him and his rat because of this. Hermione not only ignores this, but actively brings her cat <i>into Ron’s bedroom</i>, making it impossible for him to have any safe place. Hermione is utterly despicable here. She repeatedly ignores Ron’s expressed feelings and wishes and invades his privacy to underline that, making it clear she has no respect or empathy for him, makes no offer of restitution when her cat wrecks a poverty-stricken student’s clothes (in the aim of killing the poverty-stricken student’s pet, which she can afford to replace and he can’t). Then she thinks it’s all about her and her solipsistic wishes when he dares to complain. I wouldn’t have waited until my pet was apparently killed to wonder ‘Is this person who never listens to me and constantly puts her slight whims above actually hurting me really my friend?’<br /><br />It is completely foreseeable for Hermione that her cat will attack Ron’s rat. It’s foreseeable because she knows about cats and rats, because Ron’s told her, and because she’s seen it happen herself several times. And yet she still keeps bringing her cat to Ron, not making any effort to control it, and then blaming Ron. I don’t think victim-blaming is the most morally despicable thing she does, but it’s one of them, and her snobbish ‘I am superior to you so I am always right’ attitude only gets worse after what the evidence suggests is her cat completely foreseeably killing his rat.<br /><br />When Ron is blamed afterwards by some readers for not going out on a limb to make it up with her, I’m with <b>Rancho Unicorno</b> and <b>Gadget</b> above on this. Hermione’s been to blame for ages. It looks like the obvious thing that her cat’s been trying to do for ages while she stands by and helps it has happened, and she refuses even to admit the possibility for weeks. <br /><br />So does she show that, having been utterly horrible and reckless to him over his pet and his wishes for months, she’s still Ron’s friend and does actually have some respect for him? No. Obviously. She tells him she’s superior to him and that only her views count. Again. Obviously. She keeps making decisions for Ron and Harry without even having the decency to tell them. She knows they’re not going to tie her up or stun her to stop her, so she’s simply a coward with no respect for her ‘friends’ by going behind their backs and not even trying to hear their point of view. All through these chapters, she acts in every way as though only she and her opinions and feelings matter, and that Ron and Harry are dirt. I suppose some people might say ‘But girls have more feelings than boys!’ as if sexist twaddle is an excuse. <br /><br />If you believe in consequences being the only (shaky) basis of ethics, then you have to absolutely condemn Hermione at this point, because she’s wrong about the broom being dangerous and so she’s upsetting Harry and depriving him of his property for no reason at all. Because I think intent and actions are the moral elements instead, I’d give Hermione slightly more leeway here, as she’s doing what she does partly out of concern for her friend based on a very logical, reasonable worry. It’s just a shame that she says she must be right and his opinions aren’t worth a twig whether the evidence is on her side or against her, which means it’s not actually about logic but about her need to say she’s the superior one. <br /><br />In the next chapter, of course, it’s Ron who makes the crucial move in offering to help her, and Hermione who implicitly accepts that her cat killed his rat, which she must have believed all along and simply refused to admit, so her determination to show no remorse or even concern was even her knowing she was wrong. He immediately implicitly forgives her by saying it’s OK. So there’s proof about who’s the moral one – he doesn’t even wait for a full admission of guilt, much less a public one, but how can you forgive someone while they’re still twisting the knife?<br /><br /><br /><H6>Real-life Examples (or Personal Bias)</H6><br />Here’s a real-world example about Hermione’s behaviour before Scabbers’ apparent death (one which I’ve only thought of now while actively searching for a real-life analogy, though I can’t say it might not have subconsciously biased me). I am heavily allergic to dogs. If I visit a friend who has a dog, I will wear clothes that I don’t mind stripping and putting in the wash straight afterwards, I will dose myself with extra antihistamines, and I will ask them if they could try to keep the dog off me if possible. I do not blame their dog if it jumps on me, though I will get up and try to move away. If my friend, knowing all this, suddenly broke into my flat, brought their dog into my bedroom, and let it shed hair and saliva all over me and my bed, them blamed me if I protested, I would question if they were really my friend. If I then came out in a really severe allergic reaction, I would blame them. If medical tests later revealed that the allergic reaction was caused by, say, food or an insect bite, I might feel a bit awkward and blame my friend less, but I would still think they had no respect for my wishes, health or privacy and had put me in what they could foresee as danger, even if by luck they didn’t actually hurt me physically – just emotionally.<br /><br />Now here’s another real-world example which I’ve often considered and scorned in quite a lot of people (to give more of my moral bias) for Ron’s and Hermione’s respective feelings in the aftermath. Claiming ‘Ron is the mean one because Hermione is upset’ is based on no morals, just that whoever proclaims themselves most hurt wins, whatever the <i>causes</i> of their feelings. Ron feels upset because he’s lost the pet he’s had for many years (which he can’t afford to replace) and because his (financially comfortable) so-called friend repeatedly ignored his expressed feelings and wishes and invaded his privacy to underline that, making it clear she has no respect or empathy for him; but Hermione just feels upset because her friend is as a result confronting her with the truth about her own behaviour, making her feel guilty and bad. One of these things is not like the other.<br /><br />I will be getting married three weeks from today. There are people who have strained every sinew to stop me getting married while loudly arguing that I and my fiancé are intrinsically wrong, evil and fundamentally not as good as them. While I have done nothing to interfere with their rights, I have responded on the evidence that they are homophobic bigots. Many such people then shriek that it is awful to call someone a bigot, and that because they have been made to feel bad they are the real victim here. They are not. This does not make their feelings of hurt and shame any less real, but neither does it wipe away the truth that they are being made to feel bad because they’ve <i>been</i> bad – which means they deserve to feel bad, and deserve no sympathy for being hypocrites when they say ‘But what about <i>my</i> feelings?’ after spending so long completely ignoring those of their victims. <br /><br />Neither, in this case, does Hermione. <br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-34011176543182578502014-09-14T23:26:00.000+01:002014-10-08T16:08:21.027+01:00Doctor Who – The Mark of the Rani and Time and the Rani<br />I’ve been watching Sylvester McCoy’s first story as the Doctor this week, inspired by <i>Time and the Rani</i> turning twenty-seven years old last Sunday and by the BBC celebrating this happy anniversary the day before with another new Doctor, Peter Capaldi, playing the spoons. It wasn’t the most promising debut for Richard’s favourite Doctor, but over the years I’ve come to find a lot of fun in it, most of all revelling with Kate O’Mara in her villainous star turn as the Rani. And who’d have thought back then that Sylvester would star in <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/the-hobbit-fantasy-casting.html"target= "_blank">bigger films</a> than any of Kate’s?<br /><br />It didn’t seem at the time that <i>Time and the Rani</i> would mark the start of one of <i>Doctor Who</i>’s most fabulous eras – and that heralding another – but it did. I’m not just fond of it for that, though. I’m fond of it because it’s ridiculously bright and cheerful, because I can rouse myself shouting at the screen over its politics, and most of all because some of the bits that most embarrass other fans are absolutely bloody hilarious – and are meant to be. <br /><br />So I dug out a pair of old reviews, almost the oldest I’ve written that I still have copies of, and read what I had to say about the Rani’s twin mid-’80s TV escapades. They weren’t good. The stories, nor the reviews. And I hesitated before republishing them not just because I’d do very much better today should I manage to get my finger out, but also because it seems unkind so shortly after the sad news has broken of co-author Jane Baker’s passing (following that six months ago of Kate O’Mara). But <i>Time and the Rani</i> Part Two was first broadcast on this day in 1987, and <i>Doctor Who</i> online lists tell me that this is also the birthday of Gary Cady, who caught the thirteen-year-old me’s attention without knowing why in the Rani’s first story back in 1985, so it’s as appropriate a day as I’m likely to find. <br /><br />These twin reviews were published in September 1995, shortly after the release of the two stories on VHS, in <i>Liberator</i> Magazine 231’s idiosyncratic review section. After all this time – blimey, nineteen years – I can’t quite understand what I was thinking by picking these two stories to review. I have a nagging memory that I’d heard a rumour both Kate O’Mara and Colin Baker were celebrity Liberal Democrat supporters and used that to justify their getting a place, but what my real reason was eludes me. Perhaps the two VHS releases just came out the month I fancied writing <i>Doctor Who</i> reviews. Perhaps I was aiming to write several pieces in the run-up to the no-doubt fantastic TV Movie due the following Spring (a clue: doubt, though I did better immediately before it aired with <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/doctor-who-survival-short-review.html"target= "_blank">a review of <i>Survival</i></a>). But while I used to write reviews mainly to evangelise to a Liberal audience – how unlike today’s blog – and remember, for example, proselytising several <i>Babylon 5</i> and <i>The Avengers</i> releases, these reviews had a very different agenda. To crit-fic my own motivations, I suspect I was writing about how bad the writers were because it was easier and more fun to write snark than to find an interesting way of praising something I loved (or even a sympathetic way of criticising something). So now the reviews look more to me like bad writing, and I feel I’ve learnt better since. Or you may feel I’ve lost the knack of writing a short review when spending a year chipping ten thousand words out of a novel-length block of notes will do.<br /><br /><blockquote><h6><i>Doctor Who – The Mark of the Rani </i></H6><blockquote>“What’s he up to now? It’ll be something devious and overcomplicated – he’d get dizzy if he tried to walk in a straight line…” </blockquote>The Rani, a new renegade Time Lord played by Kate O’Mara, gets all the halfway decent lines in a generally weak script, and usually at the expense of the Master. Given some of the worst dialogue ever heard in <i>Doctor Who</i> (“Unfortunate? Fortuitous would be a more apposite epithet,” he quips at one point, apparently playing <i>Just a Minute</i> in a story that might have been tolerable at that length), Anthony Ainley falls to the occasion and gives his worst performance as the Doctor’s very arch arch-enemy. He all but twirls his moustaches in capering villainy as the Doctor is strapped to a table sent hurtling along a railway line…<br /><br />Set in Nineteenth Century Northumberland, this story tries hard to convince you it knows a lot about the period. Sadly, it’s too late for Luddites, George Stephenson didn’t do half they claim and a few of the other characters mentioned – such as a passing inspiration of geniuses – weren’t alive at the time. Colin Baker is excellent and endlessly watchable, his portrayal of the Sixth Doctor being much-underrated, but even fairly high production values, sumptuous location footage and Gary Cady being one of the sexiest men ever to appear in the programme can’t rescue a story damned by a silly plot and an earnestly awful script.</blockquote><br />Today’s <i>Doctor Who</i> viewers may be interested to know that <i>The Mark of the Rani</i> is currently one of the stories being shown in rotation on the Horror Channel (as well as available on DVD and in the VHS department of a charity shop near you), so you too can get wood with Mr Cady. It also looks like the primary source of one of the recurring gags in Steven Moffat’s first TV <i>Doctor Who</i> work (as well as inspiring him to write every single female character since he took over the series as the Rani).<br /><br />The paradox about <i>The Mark of the Rani</i> for me remains that the worst thing about it is also the best, and to take it out would make the whole thing unwatchable. This story’s a tipping point for Anthony Ainley’s Master, up ’til now veering between cracking and creaky performances while saddled with increasingly absurd schemes, then here a career-worst for character and actor and made the butt of all the jokes. You wonder what the programme thinks it’s doing to its lead villain, but his nadir gives the Rani a massive boost. She’s mostly written as coldly clinical, but those bitchy put-downs give her a character – as well as enabling viewer belief in her efficiency that simply wouldn’t have been possible had she gone along with the cackling idiot. Yet I can’t help thinking something’s gone a bit wrong when you need to invent another Time Lord to act as the voice of the viewer, and when even her best line’s stolen from the Police. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KCIYIzCaMXo/VBYcqXAybpI/AAAAAAAABBI/XYkAOmKYx2c/s1600/The%2BRani%2Bhas%2Bthe%2BLoyhargil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KCIYIzCaMXo/VBYcqXAybpI/AAAAAAAABBI/XYkAOmKYx2c/s400/The%2BRani%2Bhas%2Bthe%2BLoyhargil.jpg" /><br /><br />Villainous Time Lords Anthony Ainley and Kate O’Mara [contains shaggy bat story]</a></div><br /><blockquote><h6><i>Doctor Who – Time and the Rani </i></H6><blockquote>“I have the loyhargil! Nothing can stop me now!” </blockquote>The Rani is back, unfortunately bringing with her the same authors, Pip and Jane Baker, once infamous in British TV sci-fi for writing the worst <i>Space 1999</i> story. Here they have a (synthesised orchestral) stab at doing the same for <i>Doctor Who</i>.<br /><br />Kate O’Mara’s first appearance as the Rani, in which she acted, got her a role as Joan Collins’ sister in <i>Dynasty</i>. She returns with big hair, big earrings, big shoulderpads and a style so over the top it’s out of the trench and half-way to Berlin. Playing in effect a fusion of both evil Time Lords from her last story enables her to survive perhaps the most ludicrous <i>Doctor Who</i> script ever written, apparently based on a half-read article in a dentist’s waiting-room science magazine, with extra bizarre technobabble and a side order of more ‘geniuses’ – even a giant brain on top – because the authors again mistakenly hope it may rub off.<br /><br />This is the first story with Sylvester McCoy as the Seventh Doctor… After which, he gets much better, though he does bring some fun moments first time out. Guest stars such as Wanda Ventham and Mark Greenstreet look rather embarrassed (although considering the latter’s appearance in <i>Brat Farrar</i> just before this, he was probably used to it). On the plus side, while the theoretically far superior earlier Rani story tries hard to be serious and is rather dull, this is immensely colourful and entertaining, in the ‘so bad it’s good’ category. <br /><br />Worth watching if you like pretty special effects, because you have to see ‘Colin Baker’s exit’ to believe it, but most of all for Ms O’Mara’s hilarious impersonation of Bonnie Langford.</blockquote><br />And I didn’t even spot at the time how dodgy its politics were, which would at least have been topical for a political magazine. Oops. In brief, think of the alien ‘hero’ as Nigel Farage. <br /><br />You can read my lovely Richard’s far more enthusiastic and far more interesting review of <a href="http://millenniumelephant.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/day-4465-doctor-who-its-that-time-again.html"target= "_blank"><i>Time and the Rani</i> at <b>The Very Fluffy Diary of Millennium Dome, Elephant</b></a>.<br /><br />At the same time as watching Sylvester’s opening story, I’ve started reading several books about or starring his Doctor. There may be more on those stories later… And though they’re all you’ll find of her in the regular TV series, the two stories above weren’t all there was to the Rani, either. Kate O’Mara came back for an even camper charity mash-up with <i>EastEnders</i> (no, really), in which a very respectable actor plays her henchman Shagg, then a semi-licit audio play that I can’t honestly recommend, and was due to return to the role again for Big Finish’s official <i>Doctor Who</i> audio series. In interviews she always said she loved the character and wanted to do more with her, and it seems behind the scenes she was just the same, giving her blessing when she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it for a new incarnation of the Rani to take over later this year. The Rani’s also turned up in the pages of several novels and short stories, as well as one 1986 book by Pip and Jane Baker themselves that had eventually more than a little to do with <i>Time and the Rani</i>… <br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.libdemvoice.org/top-of-the-blogs-the-lib-dem-golden-dozen-390-42508.html"target= "_blank"><img src="http://www.libdemvoice.org/images/golden-dozen.png" width="200" height="57" alt="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" title="Featured on Liberal Democrat Voice" /></a><br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-79186180028051582862014-08-29T18:30:00.000+01:002014-09-01T09:02:00.790+01:00Adventures On Holiday In Hospital <br />It’s the end of Summer – <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/09/back-to-old-school-horror-of-fang-rock.html" target="_blank">traditionally, as <i>Doctor Who</i>’s back</a> – so how was your holiday? Did you go anywhere nice? We went to North Yorkshire for a week, which is relatively usual, then I spent all of mine in hospital, which isn’t. When I’ve not blogged for a while it’s often due to some of my many long-term health problems, so I’ll try to make light of it by saying afterwards that “my health has been worse than usual – as usual”. That week and all the last seven weeks have made this weak gag rather less funny.<br /><br />I’ve been so ill – and still not quite back even to my normal levels – that I’ve not really known what to write to explain it when I eventually got back to the point when I could. At one point I determined to let absolutely everything out, and drafted a long blog post going into all the gruesome details, including the things that are always wrong with me and how they all fed into each other… But in the end I bottled it. I felt too exposed, and as an excuse told myself that no-one would enjoy reading it. But I’m aware some people have been worrying, and probably more since <a href="http://millenniumelephant.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/day-4982-do-you-want-me-to-turn-moffat.html" target="_blank">Richard outed my hospitalisation this time last week</a>, so here’s the very long but hopefully more entertaining and definitely less soul-and-body-baringly invasive version. Are you sitting uncomfortably? I am… <br /><br /><br /><h6>This Is the Important Paragraph – You Should Probably Skip the Rest</h6><br />The first thing I should say is that while this was intensely awful at its worst, like all my other miserable long-term conditions (and the bonus ones that frequently pop up to join them), its effect was low quality of life rather than life-threatening. So that’s one awkward question you don’t have to ask. The worst effect of it was that my lovely Richard, who has more than enough to cope with anyway, had to work seven hours a day visiting me and more in his ‘time off’ answering all the questions from family and friends that I wasn’t able to cope with. So he deserves a medal and really, really needs an actual holiday. If you happen to be in touch with Richard, please be especially nice to him, as he’s been having a particularly knackering time and, unlike me, can’t spend days in bed after swallowing fourteen pills (my apogee combination of antibiotics, painkillers, especially good hospital painkillers and ordinary prescriptions – I’m down to a smaller number now). <br /><br />It hasn’t been terribly pleasant for me, either. The week in hospital – for all my terrible health, the first actual hospitalisation of my adult life, though I spent months there as a kid – was of course the worst, involving amongst other things very, very much more pain than I’m used to coping with, almost complete physical incapacitation, humiliation and discovering that I do have some physical vanity after all on getting an unexpected and upsetting blow to it – which like several other things is still not mended. But in some ways the most difficult thing to deal with wasn’t the most intense part but the very slow recovery. <br /><br />One of my ways of coping with the way ill health usually knocks me out at random is, after the Ray Milland alcoholism film <i>The Lost Weekend</i>, to tell myself my incapacitated time was a Lost Morning, or a Lost Day, or a Lost Week, so that by naming it I can mentally file it away and not dwell on it. I can’t just dismiss a ‘Lost Month And A Half’, especially when both Richard and I are getting rather stressed now that our preparation time for our wedding, which had been going all right, has been cut in half. I suspect this may make me still more wary in future of booking anything; other than my income being technically zero (sorry, Richard, again), I am forced to miss so many things that I’ve paid out for even with my ordinary health problems that I sometimes get to the point where I rarely leave the flat – or get too stressed that I might not be able to when needed (yes, I am listening to the complete works of Kate Bush and feeling jealous as I type). So if you’ve ever wondered why I don’t seem to be about at a Lib Dem Conference, say, then tell me I’m looking well when you eventually see me, there’s a strong chance that I may have been mostly knocked out in a hotel room for the previous forty-eight hours and, on getting out for an evening or an afternoon, be what’s technically termed ‘faking it’. That’s when I don’t just turn entirely inward as a way of coping, a strategy that did at least get me through a week in hospital without going berserk. <br /><br />I said there’d be entertaining bits, so I’ll tell you that I’ve learned two ‘Be careful what you wish for’ lessons that many a man would grip a monkey’s paw for: one of them isn’t printable in this less TMI version, but the other is ‘I wish it would seem like time on holiday went more slowly’. Well, it certainly did <i>that</i>.<br /><br /><br /><h6>So, Back in Mid-July… The Prologue and the Hotel From Hell</h6><br />OK, preliminary rambling over, here’s the abridged version of what’s been going on. Back on Sunday July 13th, I started feeling ill, painful and swollen, recognised the symptoms as a nasty infection I’d had once before (though as it turned out to a tiny fraction of the severity), and rather than putting it off as usual because I tend to hope anything new will just go away, decided to deal with it if it hadn’t passed by after I’d slept on it. So on the Monday, with it all much worse, I got a taxi – with a non-stop-gabbling taxi driver so loudly and horribly a Kipper that I wondered if he was a method-actor testing out a stereotype – to seek medical advice, seeing a very nervous doctor who gave me what turned out to be seriously feeble antibiotics. Still, I spent the week mainly trying to rest in order that we’d be able to go on our holiday. I didn’t go out; I missed a pre-booked book evening in town with Neil <a href="http://thewifeandblake.com/" target="_blank">the Husband In Space</a> and Jenny Colgan; the swelling got worse, but with the (duff) antibiotics, constant paracetamol and not moving the heavy flu-like symptoms seemed to be retreating slightly. What could possibly go wrong? Having fooled myself things were improving, Richard drove us up to Stockport in a nightmare journey of traffic jams in order to see my parents, for whom I looked much better (see ‘faking it’). <br /><br />The next twenty-four hours were when everything that could went rather wrong at once. As well as getting increasingly feverish as a side-effect during the journey up, the main infection was getting more and more painful while swollen and constricted in a car seat, and I wasn’t able to get any sleep. So that night I was pretty much exhausted – which was unfortunate, as we’d chosen a hotel at random and turned out to have booked into the worst hotel in Stockport. It seemed almost funny at the time. It looked astoundingly like the hotel from <i>Doctor Who – The God Complex</i>, complete with the same cream doors and red paisley carpet, except that even they’d not been able to find a hotel so stuck in the 1950s that it still had a lift with hand-pulled outer shutters and inner cage. It must be thirty years since I was last in one of those (probably not since they pulled the old Hazel Grove Co-op down). It was absolutely sweltering that night, and the place had no air-conditioning, so I did what any rather odd person running a fever and feeling rather out of it would do: reeled around the place after midnight Tweeting that I was trapped in a <i>Sapphire and Steel</i> story. You can read this improbable timeline here: <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490265610258239488" target="_blank">one</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490267986469847040" target="_blank">two</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490268706430525440" target="_blank">three</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490269690657509376" target="_blank">four</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490272644475158528" target="_blank">five</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490275068229193728" target="_blank">six</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490275494932537345" target="_blank">seven</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490278384623427584" target="_blank">eight</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490279812926566400" target="_blank">nine</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/alexwilcock/status/490415164223926272" target="_blank">ten</a> (three, five and eight are my favourites).<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-erLTvtOCy7k/VABL9E5YusI/AAAAAAAAA_c/bc3c9EGIr0o/s1600/Doctor%2BWho%2BThe%2BGod%2BComplex%2Bon%2Blocation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-erLTvtOCy7k/VABL9E5YusI/AAAAAAAAA_c/bc3c9EGIr0o/s400/Doctor%2BWho%2BThe%2BGod%2BComplex%2Bon%2Blocation.jpg" /><br /><br /><i>Doctor Who – The God Complex</i> on location</a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Not the most entertaining of the photos, but the one that shows lift, carpet and cream. </b></div><br />It got a lot less funny when we tried to sleep. However loud the storm outside, even with the window propped open the crack it would allow, the temperature in the tiny room was soaring and so was mine, so despite my pain and tiredness I was only able to get a few short stretches of sleep. Now, I ordinarily tend to sleep badly, but most days keel over for a couple of hours in the afternoon to deal with it; when I’m short of sleep even in relatively normal health I tend towards testy, headachey, incoherent, unsteady and vomiting (and all without touching a drop). This will all be a bonus later in the day. <br /><br /><br /><h6>The Day It All Went Down</h6><br />And so we crawled out of bed on the morning of Saturday July 19th, me in a much worse state but Richard also deprived of sleep both by the heat and a feverish fiancé, and more worryingly the one who had to do all the driving. We planned to take some stops along the way from Stockport to Sutton-Under-Whitestonecliffe; as it turned out, the traffic again did that for us, with more massive tailbacks, another long trip taking twice as long as it should, and my trying not to say anything about the effect it was having on me when there was nothing either of us could do about it. One thing I should have done was taken off my shoes and towelled my feet; we’d been out in heavy rain for a couple of minutes in the morning, and I was very soggy. But even bending was by this point excruciating, so I suspect I also caught a chill which may not have helped later. <br /><br />At long last we arrived at our destination. I got out of the car and went into the office to say hello and get the keys to our self-catering cottage. I was aware at the back of my mind that I was feeling very unwell indeed, but kept standing, bantered – faked it – and it was fine. I was fine. I’d just get my clothes off, dry off and have a sit-down without being jammed into a car seat, have some water and a couple of paracetamol and I’d be fine. We’d got there. We could relax.<br /><br />I literally collapsed within two minutes of opening the cottage door.<br /><br />Now, I’m frequently tired and ill and in pain and have to lie down for a couple of hours. Most afternoons, probably. And I label this ‘collapsing’. I think I need to find a new word. Because having held off the worst while doing the bits I absolutely needed to, like travelling, seeing my side of the family and being in public, something suddenly snapped. I fell onto the bed and couldn’t get up.<br /><br />For two hours I couldn’t move except to weakly reel about when being in one position was too much. I was in suddenly unbearable pain of several types (one of the worst of my usuals, stomach like a bag of knives, coming in just when I didn’t need it). For the first half-hour I couldn’t get my teeth to stop chattering enough to speak. I was shaking, sweating and running a high fever. I threw up the painkillers within minutes of taking them, babbled incoherent guilt to Richard when I could get words out through my shudders, and kept telling myself that I was just too exhausted and if I could only get to sleep, I would get better.<br /><br />That didn’t happen.<br /><br />After two hours of this, I gave in and rang 111, because I didn’t want to trouble them with something that wasn’t very serious. I could still barely speak and hardly move at all, and they sent an ambulance immediately. It turns out they thought I was very ill indeed, and it turned out they were right. I’ve only once before been taken off in an ambulance as an adult, when quite a few years earlier I was having several hours of chest pains (which fortunately were just a combination of asthma and muscle spasms). I was given gas and air that time, which relieved the pain and was very jolly (for me, at least. They didn’t give Richard any to relax him, so he was dreadfully worried). So I was a bit disappointed when the gas and air this time made the pain only slightly less intolerable, and that only in the moments I was actually breathing it in. They offered me morphine, which I’ll admit I was wary of but was fantastic (kids: don’t listen). Or at least let me slowly start to cope. I was rushed to the hospital in Northallerton, with Richard – who fortunately knows the area – following in the car (not a great time for him after two days of horrible drives). He stayed with me through all the initial hours of pokes and proddings until I was consigned to a ward about 1am.<br /><br />I didn’t take any photos that evening, or for the next few days, which is just as well. <br /><br /><br /><h6>Hospital #1</h6><br />I was given rather a lot of drugs through two different drip-feeds and as a consequence got more sleep that night. In fact I can’t tell you a great deal about the Sunday, as I was constantly dipping in and out of consciousness, and couldn’t actually move without a lot of help – still less make much sense – until the Monday. I do remember using the counter on the electronic box that combined my twin feeds to calculate the time and then counting slowly for the half an hour until three o’clock when I was sure Richard would come. He was stuck in the car park and got in about two minutes past; he was the first to arrive at visiting hours (and the last to leave, but I won’t talk about an excessively rude nurse noting that as the others were very much nicer), but I was not at that point coping well and nearly cried when he didn’t appear on the dot, as I wasn’t up to devising any other coping strategy, then nearly cried again when he appeared to look after me. It’s startling how much hope you can build up on one tiny thing when you’re in an awful state.<br /><br />The Saturday night and through the Sunday was pretty much all a blur, often a distressing one, certainly an uncomfortable one, but above all a relief. Asked by the ambulance crew to rate my pain level out of ten, I’d given a nine because, you know, nothing’s perfect and you always have to assume something better can come along. My gratitude at it settling to between a five and a seven – and I often get a five at home – was inexpressible. Even when I found myself turning my list of all the things usually wrong with me and all my prescription medication into a sort of ritual chant I could repeat while semi-conscious as what seemed an endless file of doctors and nurses would ask the same questions and be taken aback at the length of the litany detailing my long-term health issues from literally head to toe…<br /><br />…Even when – throughout the week – they’d always wait impatiently to the end and then say, “Are you diabetic?” (the politer ones) or “<i>Aren’t</i> you diabetic?” (the more supercilious ones), because, y’know, that’s one that’s really easy to forget, isn’t it? Well, no, I’m not, and as I have so many things wrong with me I have regular blood tests – and still many more in the hospitals – I’m regularly aware that I’m still not. And as the various consultants ruled out more and more potential causes of what was wrong with me, despite diabetes actually having no possible bearing on my infections, over and over they kept asking, “Are you diabetic?” and I kept hearing, ‘We are frustrated and feel we lack control of the situation because we should know what’s causing this and don’t, but you are very fat and we wish to reassert our control of the situation by blaming you for it.’ And over and over I kept saying, “No, I’m not diabetic,” and I kept meaning, ‘I am in hospital and very ill and feeling that I have very little control over my life at the moment, but I assert control over at least being adjusted to being very fat, <i>and up yours</i>.’ <br /><blockquote>“‘The sky appears to be reflective,’ Holmes replied, more hesitantly than usual. ‘Perhaps, like Dante’s inner circle of Hell, we have ice above us. If you look closely, you will see a reflected glow from something over the horizon. The nearest Earthly equivalent would be the lights of a town or city.’ He coughed. ‘I am merely speculating, of course. It could be an incandescent chicken the size of the North Riding for all I know.’”</blockquote>That’s a line from Andy Lane’s very entertaining <i>Doctor Who: The New Adventures – All-Consuming Fire</i> that would go through my head each time, stranded in the North Riding with far less mental faculty than <i>me</i>, let alone Sherlock Holmes, and feeling the same overwhelming fish-out-of-water helplessness, with a certain degree of satisfaction that the doctor was similarly stumped. The spontaneous combustion plot was rather less comforting to think of, with the fever I was running (but you can’t have everything, and oh look, I was prefiguring another Victorian spontaneous combustion <i>Doctor Who</i> story just last weekend).<br /><br />Another sudden collapse of self-image: usually I eat to cope. A lot. The doctors may have deduced this. Richard brought grapes, chocolate, goodies of various kinds (and two very lovely cards), and I just had to ask him to take most of them away again. Not because I was ordered not to eat them (except for the points when I was), but because I realised that I had absolutely no appetite whatsoever and it was too distressing to be reminded of it. I have a massive amount of stomach problems, but this was the only week I can remember when my appetite just went utterly flat. I was aware that with every hospital meal I had to force myself with every forkful, and still left bits (I do not leave food), simply because I was aware I <i>had</i> to eat and willed myself sternly to do it. Not even a giant incandescent chicken could tempt me. The week’s single happiest moment when Richard wasn’t there was being woken at 6am on the Thursday and realising that I’d been in a vivid dream of food, which meant that there was a chance I was becoming me again.<br /><br />One thing that I held onto – other than Richard – was my befuddled brain playing <i>Doctor Who</i>. One story above (literally, it occurs to me) all: another from the same range as <i>All-Consuming Fire</i>, this time Russell T Davies’ brilliant first official <i>Doctor Who</i>, 1996’s novel <i>Doctor Who: The New Adventures – Damaged Goods</i>. There will be spoilers if you’ve not read it. Because I was surrounded my curtains and full of drugs and exhausted, and until Richard brought in my phone I had no distractions or diversions, all I could do was fall asleep, or lie awake looking up. Looking up at the large panels of the ceiling, like a big noughts and crosses board. And vividly remember how noughts and crosses keep featuring through the book with what eventually turns out to be exactly the same hallucinatory importance I was experiencing. Although it was published the same year my most bedevilling health problem started, at least as a long-term health issue it’s a better one to have than young Steven Jericho’s: in a story of terrible bargains, happy blow jobs, families, death and war, the most haunting aspect is the endless visions of noughts and crosses that Gabriel Tyler receives without rest from his separated, unknown, hospitalised twin who can do nothing every day but stare up at his own noughts and crosses board. Uncannily, not only is the bulk of the book set during the same week of the year that I was in hospital, but it was during that very week this year that <a href="http://www.bigfinish.com/news/v/big-finish-announce-production-of-doctor-who-damaged-goods" target="_blank">Big Finish announced</a> they’re adapting it as an audio play. But like Gabriel’s, my visions of noughts and crosses came first, and knowledge of their significance afterwards. <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RpYnD_cWTsU/VABMgIEqowI/AAAAAAAAA_k/dT_kgcOkvFE/s1600/Doctor%2BWho%2BDamaged%2BGoods%2Bon%2Blocation.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RpYnD_cWTsU/VABMgIEqowI/AAAAAAAAA_k/dT_kgcOkvFE/s400/Doctor%2BWho%2BDamaged%2BGoods%2Bon%2Blocation.JPG" /><br /><br /><i>Doctor Who – Damaged Goods</i> on location</a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Noughts and crosses – filled in one nought and crossed drip-feeds (only one showing) </b></div><br />By the Monday, my brain and body were starting to function. Though I preferred being on average more conscious than unconscious, this wasn’t all good. The worst moment… Worse than when I was admitted – because that was a relief from pain. Worse than grumpy nurses trying to take my two gowns and telling me off for not bringing my own pyjamas – because I don’t have pyjamas, doubly not when on holiday, because I was too swollen to get anything over my legs, and I needed two backless, impossible-to-fasten-yourself gowns for courtesy’s sake, as I’m a naturist but am aware non-nudists didn’t want me flashing or mooning them as I tottered to the loo. Worse even than Tuesday when I hit ‘peak swelling’ at a huge, painful and absurd size – because I’d been inured to this being what I was ill with. The worst moment of all when I was in hospital came because I was able to clean myself. I’d been drenched in fever-sweat and unable to move for two days; when, in not a great twist, the cannula on the back of my hand ripped free while I was dozing, it at least meant there was a point when they had to disconnect my drip-feeds and I seized the moment to ask if I could have a shower. I was terribly weak but just determined enough to stagger to a bathroom, pull off my gown, and… Though I’d been conceptually aware of it, this was when I got the real blow to my vanity: there is just one part of my body that I like, and I’d never realised just how much of my limited self-esteem balances on it until I suddenly saw what a wreck the hospital had made of it. It’s still not right, but that initial shock in the mirror nearly stopped me coping. It’s the bits you’re not prepared for that tip you off the deep end. Partly as a way of mentally striking back with a physical change under my own control, and partly just because I didn’t have the energy and co-ordination to use a razor for several days, I decided then to grow a beard until I’d recovered. I have, of course, still got it. Sorry, Richard.<br /><br />Monday was also the day I changed hospitals. The one in Northallerton had mostly very friendly nurses and a cheerier ward, but it did turn out to have one serious disadvantage: a great many specialists all coming to see me and none, apparently, talking to each other (several of them even to me in my enfeebled state worryingly but plainly not having a clue). So let’s say that I wasn’t very happy when one decided seemingly at random that they should operate and told me, as if that wasn’t enough, that I couldn’t be sewn up but would just have to have a nurse pack the wound daily for a fortnight until it healed of its own accord. And let’s also say that I wasn’t very confident when another sent me for an ultrasound scan (on top of the x-rays, direct physical examinations of every kind and everything else I’d had) and those scan results said that there was absolutely no need to have an operation, because the assumption on which they’d based that decision was entirely wrong. And I wasn’t very happy at all when I was told I’d still be having the operation, pointed out the contrary information from later in the day, and was told that the doctors knew what they were doing.<br /><br />It turns out it was rather lucky that they didn’t have a theatre available and sent me to a larger sister hospital.<br /><br /><br /><h6>Hospital #2</h6><br />Almost everything about the second hospital in Middlesbrough was less good. Twenty-five miles further north, in a town neither of us knew, so that rather than Richard being able to drive there in ten minutes it would take an hour, making a full seven-hour day for him to visit me for my five hours of blessed company. The hospital itself bigger and grimmer and the ward much more – disrupted, I’ll call it, and not say anything of the distressed or distressing other patients. The bed… I’ll come back to the bed. The hour’s ambulance ride there, which was excessively painful just as I was levelling out (though the paramedics were lovely).<br /><br />None of that matters. Because the best thing about the second hospital is that there was one consultant who saw me each time. One consultant, rather than half a dozen who only saw me once or twice each and made on-the-spot contradictory decisions. One consultant, who took the time to explain what was going on at every stage. One consultant, and this is less important but reassuring, who looked rather like Roy Marsden’s before he was eaten by vampires. One consultant, who most importantly of all had a f*****g clue and who on taking the notes from the hospital that had referred me for what I’d already weakly suggested and which his actually reading and cross-referencing them confirmed was a wholly unnecessary and dangerous operation, came remarkably close to expressing his professional opinion of some of the previous hospital’s personnel’s judgement and told me that I would definitely not be going into theatre that night, and detailed precisely why not.<br /><br />So the second hospital was able to tell me that I had two infections, named, interrelated and both very bad and with pretty horrible direct effects and heavily flu-like side-effects, but that I didn’t in fact also have the other one that a random consultant had just guessed at. Reassuring to know precisely and definitely what was wrong. Slightly less reassuring that, after they also ran all the possible tests all over again to see what caused it, I predictably came up zero on the forty-six or so most common possibilities, which at least means they were able to confirm I’m not at all infectious to anyone else but also means I don’t know what esoteric cause to avoid and so that it might just strike again at random.<br /><br />By contrast, perhaps the least appealing thing about the second hospital was the bed. Every bed in the ward had a whiteboard with the patient’s name above it. Every bed was a modern grey plastic creation with a wide frame and remote control elevation the patient could operate to get out of bed more easily or raise their pillows. You can see where this is going, can’t you? I was put in Bed 13, which unlike all the others in the ward never had my name put above it, and again uniquely was a narrow old iron frame which I had to clamber out of before they lowered it to change the bedclothes because the crank was too violent. Not that that occurred to the student nurse who, bored with listening in on rounds, idly kicked at it until the constant jolts of pain across my face prompted the senior nurse to stop her. <br /><br />My slightly thoughtless way of coping was to tell Richard this was because in 1958 the last person whose name had been put on the board over Bed 13 had died before the night was out, and they’d never changed it again. He didn’t think this was very funny. The number, the nameless horror and the ancient frame did give me the sense that I was incarcerated in a half-finished Christmas script by Mark Gatiss, though. <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AZN_ZfciLMU/VABM_etyDMI/AAAAAAAAA_0/6oCDan1C734/s1600/The%2BPrisoner%2Bof%2BBed%2B13.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AZN_ZfciLMU/VABM_etyDMI/AAAAAAAAA_0/6oCDan1C734/s400/The%2BPrisoner%2Bof%2BBed%2B13.JPG" /><br /><br />The Prisoner of Bed 13</a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>In bed in hospital</b></div><br />The bed’s plastic mattress and pillows were no doubt practical for cleaning, but when I tend to get quite sweaty just as a matter of course and was mostly feverish while incarcerated, it meant the plastic would heat up against my skin like a furnace and I’d simply pour. One night I woke and was so sopping wet with sweat I had to plead with a nurse to change the sheets at 3am, which was one of my more mortifying moments and made rather worse when it transpired there were no spare pillowcases. I said I couldn’t sleep with a sodden rag under my head, so… They took it and left just the bare plastic pillow. That didn’t help. Should you ever find yourself in a similarly untenable position, here is my tip: ask for a large towel. Pillowcases they may not have had, but an intrepid nursing assistant found me a proper bath towel rather than the tea-towels they give you to dry with in the bathroom and I wrapped it snugly round both plastic pillows. Being considerably thicker than the cases, it was much more comfortable too, and psychologically it was a small victory. <br /><br /><br /><h6>Things I Learned From Hospitalisation</h6><br />Gosh, I’m going on a bit, aren’t I? It’s therapy.<br /><br />Much like discovering that <i>Carry On Doctor</i> is still a documentary.<br /><br />It was a small, private act of protest. Both hospitals were festooned with signs saying that mobile phones were not to be used. Stern admonitions were given on admission. And I couldn’t get a signal in the first one, anyway. But after Richard tried to ring me on the ward phone number he was given and was told off because he should have rung my mobile – seriously – I relaxed a bit about occasional surfing to relieve the stupefaction, though I’m afraid I didn’t look at any messages because I just didn’t feel I could cope. And part of this was finding a rogue copy of <i>Carry On Doctor</i> online and slowly buffering it through the night as cheer in my most miserable moments. <br /><br />For me, <i>Carry On Doctor</i>’s one of the best of the series, and definitely the best of the non-historicals – though the ending is in some ways more disturbing than chopping the villains’ heads off. It makes a brilliant use of a brilliant ensemble cast, and you can really see it as a big relaunch for the series at a new studio but doing what they’d been most famous for. You can see it this Sunday morning on Film4 (and no doubt every other week on some channel).<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MJp4t3PEE_w/VABM1QwdzeI/AAAAAAAAA_s/vZgUH2-34OY/s1600/Carry%2BOn%2BDoctor.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MJp4t3PEE_w/VABM1QwdzeI/AAAAAAAAA_s/vZgUH2-34OY/s400/Carry%2BOn%2BDoctor.PNG" /><br /><br /><i>Carry On Doctor</i></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>I saw that film! </b></div><br />What I didn’t realise until I watched it illicitly in hospital was how half a century later it’s still uncannily Cinéma Vérité. Though the thermometers are smaller these days, even the wards still look the same, only split into half-length and with Sky Sports screens dangling above you that I would regularly switch off and that orderlies would be commanded to switch on to try and get me to pay for them. I even had one of the original beds. The only thing that let down the documentary realism was Frankie Howerd being woken at 6am. No, not that part – I was woken every night at at least 2 and 6 (or 12 ½ p in new money) as part of having my blood pressure checked every four hours, which they’d always be surprised to see going sharply up or down but which I could reliably chart by how close they measured it to my last having had fabulous morphine derivatives and whether my pain score was a manageable four or a pump-popping seven. What I found incredible was Mr Francis Bigger wanting to get back to sleep (“Sleep’s good for you!”) only to be interrupted immediately by more crashing about from the guy doing the washes, and the vacuuming and the tea. It’s nothing like real life! They always gave you at least twenty minutes to start to nod off again before the next noisy interruption. Though our tea ladies were always very kindly, and I was always very apologetic when I couldn’t force myself through a full meal. Oh, and that sadly the only seriously hot nurse I saw was only in my ward for a couple of minutes while he was helping transfer a patient, and at a point where I was physically about as far from a Sid James reaction as I’ve ever felt. So no lovely pair there. <br /><br />On a related note, day staff seem to have no idea what night staff do, as the question “Did you have a good sleep?” is one you can’t answer politely when you’re not only deliberately woken through the night on hospital policy but also constantly woken by patients being trollied in, patients being ferried out or patients being distressing in any number of ways (especially one night, where the suffering of one man was too near the knuckle and I had to go and sit in a loo down the corridor for half an hour because otherwise I couldn’t have dealt with my own). At no point did I ever have anything approaching a good sleep, though in the first night and day there was a long stretch of intermittently blessed unconsciousness and really excellently hazy painkillers.<br /><br />In hospitals there is also a different meaning of “comfortable”: you are never remotely comfortable, but what they want to know if your pain level is copeable or if they have to hit you on the head with a mallet to stop you screaming the place down (see ‘distressing patients’). <br /><br />If you have many prescriptions, you must remember to bring all the right drugs in in the right combinations on admission even if you’re passing out with pain.<br /><br />The nearest I had to a proper row was with the pharmacist in the first hospital. I’d just grabbed one of everything to illustrate what I take, not expecting to be kept in for a week. This meant that the drug that I use in an unusually small dose because I’m prescribed it for something completely different to most people confused her. And then, as I take 2.5-3mg (depending on how badly I’m doing) in a combination of 1mg from one bottle and 0.5mg from another, she only let me take 0.5mg as I’d not actually picked up both bottles. As I need a small but not that small esoteric dose for an esoteric condition, that was no bloody use at all. I preferred the pharmacist in the second hospital, who I first saw scurrying about bent over in an amazingly disreputable manner before he eventually introduced himself. I remain suspicious, not least because he was the only staff member there in the sort of white with green flashes uniform seen in the likes of <i>Doctor Who – The Ark In Space</i> or <i>The Invisible Enemy</i>, and looked uncannily like a cross between Ewen Solon and Charles Kay, who acted in just that sort of TV in just that sort of period. So perhaps he didn’t actually work there, and was just a ’70s method actor pretending to be on set. Or, as he claimed to be a pharmacist, on drugs.<br /><br /><br /><h6>Richard – My Lifeline and Escape Line</h6><br />I have always known that Richard is the most marvellous person and the most perfect partner in the entire world, but now I have objective factual evidence.<br /><br />He gave up his holiday to spend every minute (and more) of the five hours allowed each day to come and comfort me – even when I really wasn’t in a good state for company, hospitalised 250 miles from home, and an hour’s drive each way for him. I am still pathetically grateful, to say nothing of what a lifeline he was at the time. He was always the first to arrive and the last to leave, and every day the only visitor who stayed right through. He is, objectively, better than everyone else and the most attentive visitor by a mile. Subjectively, he talked when I wanted him to, he was silently supportive when I needed him to be, and he was adorably affectionate. And from what I could hear of everyone else, he had far, far better conversation. Though I probably can’t go into detail on the parents I wanted to scream at to shut up, or the elderly sister who got bored of an old man just out of surgery not being a performing seal and told her husband to prod him to wake him up. Luckily for her, I was too feeble to prod her by hurling the bedside cabinet I had to hand. <br /><br />And on one night I was greeted by an older gay man who’d had no visitors and was in a lot of pain talking on the phone to a friend about how the only thing that helped him cope was the gay couple in the opposite berth who were being lovely in holding each other and talking all evening and generally being the most couply couple possible.<br /><br />Perhaps the thing I should be most grateful to my beloved for is the bit I didn’t see. I absolutely couldn’t cope with anyone else when I was in hospital, however much I love them – though it has been nice to see some of my family since, along with two lovely men who’ve visited me in my lonely flat – and he stopped me having to do so. He stopped well-meaning but just too much people contacting me in hospital, only brought in the messages he knew I’d want, and spent most of the remaining hours of his precious ‘rest’ time when back at the cottage on the phone or on Facebook updating people, reassuring people and answering endless questions from people, all so that I never had to. I love him so much.<br /><br />I think of him standing at the ward doors him wielding his iPhone and roaring, <br /><blockquote>“You shall not pass!”</blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hE-ln2ge8-Q/VABQuKI7H5I/AAAAAAAABAw/oVrYfZqyuTQ/s1600/You%2BShall%2BNot%2BPass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hE-ln2ge8-Q/VABQuKI7H5I/AAAAAAAABAw/oVrYfZqyuTQ/s400/You%2BShall%2BNot%2BPass.jpg" /><br /><br />You Shall Not Pass!</a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>And yet I’m the bearded one in the abyss. </b></div><br />Absolute proof that Richard is the best. Please be lovely to him. <br /><br />I take back what I said about pharmacists and the worst part in hospital, though.<br /><br />On the Friday morning, the helpful and competent specialist told me they were going to discharge me. He told me that they’d have kept me in had I lived locally, but that he knew we were on holiday (ho ho) and that we were only booked in where we were staying until Saturday morning. On balance, he thought it would be better for me to get home on Saturday rather than Richard have to find somewhere else to stay, get time off work and them not really be able to do much more for me in hospital except pump me full of drugs and rest. So I was warned not even to think of doing anything for a fortnight (and my usual recovery time is twice medical estimates, because I have so many things wrong with me ordinarily, which has of course been proven again since) and that I was being discharged not for being better but for being on balance manageable. At the time, I was much less feverish than when I was admitted, but actually much more swollen (that having got much worse before starting to improve) and still just as weak. <br /><br />Where the hitch came was with the ‘pumping me full of drugs’ part. I was told I’d need three different sorts of painkillers and antibiotics to take away with me, and that the hospital pharmacy would send them up. This was about 9am. I was told to expect them between 12pm and 2pm, and a kind nurse said Richard could come in early. This was fortunate, as he ended up staying longer than any of the other days as the time dragged on, and on. They stripped my bed and remade it, as I’d be out straight away… Which became a problem as it got later into the afternoon, when I got weaker and shakier but had nowhere to sleep, caught in a no man’s land where I was neither discharged nor not discharged. Or, as Richard described me, as I changed from patient to impatient. It was the promise being broken: I’d coped with being there all week, the first time I’d been hospitalised for about thirty years as opposed to all the many times going in for tests and consultants, and it was immensely draining but I could shut off enough bits of my mind to get through. But so close to escape, and just finding that always out of reach, that drove me up the wall. <br /><br />When 4.45pm and the pills eventually came and I tottered weakly out of the hospital to see it for the first time – and disappointingly find that what looked like a scrap-metal sculpture of Gonzo from the window was just an interestingly-but-less-interestingly-shaped tree from more accurate angles – I was more than slightly frustrated. Tip for unblocking hospital beds: don’t let hospital pharmacies delay patients from being discharged by eight hours for no reason at all.<br /><br />Still, you wouldn’t believe the sense of escape when Richard drove me away from there, despite all the pain. Just seeing <i>anywhere else</i>. Now <i>there</i> was an adrenalin rush. <br /><br /><br /><h6><s>Aftermath</s> Still-during-math</h6><br />I had hoped we might get one tiny smidgeon of holiday on the Saturday morning by visiting York – lovely town, our favourite chippie, the Fudge Kitchen – but I was very evidently in no fit state, and still in way too much pain, quite apart from still having a severely suppressed appetite. On the bright side, by leaving early, we seemed to miss most of the traffic and to our great relief had a far less hellish journey going back to London. <br /><br />That, of course, was only the end of week two of my double-infection. It’s now nearly the end of week seven. I’m looking a little more me, and feeling a lot more me. I’m back to eating far too much food – but still not really up to much of the walking I’d been doing to try and keep my weight in check. It’s been pretty rough in between, though. <br /><br />Week three I went out just once that wasn’t to the doctor, and of course overdid it with catastrophic results. Much the same happened in week four, but the swelling was a lot less as I moved onto my fourth course of antibiotics (same as the third course I got from the hospital pharmacy, far more effective than the utterly rubbish first week’s variety, and I never knew what the serious second stuff they pumped in intravenously was), so I was quite confident I could be getting out more. Obviously, in week five I moved from merely still weak and feverish to the full-on flu-type attack and was far more ill than I’d been at any time since about the third day in hospital. So that was… Bloody terrible, actually. Week six I was still very knocked out but got a few things done, and at last the multiple massive cannula bruises all along my left hand and arm have vanished. <br /><br />Now late on in week seven, the former massive cannula bruise on my left hand has even stopped hurting. The swelling hasn’t, though. Both types of swelling are much better, but they’re still ‘tender’ (or just plain sore, depending), and while about a twentieth the absurd / horrific volume at peak, still noticeably inflamed. I finished the fourth course of antibiotics last week; I saw the doctor again this week; I’m on the fifth course of antibiotics. He’ll see how I’m doing in a fortnight.<br /><br />On the bright side, I’ve managed to get some things done this week though still very far from catching up any of The Lost Month And A Half, and most of the ill hours I’ve had to write off as ‘Lost Time’ this week have been my standard, familiar illnesses and not the one that slaughtered me a month and a half ago, so that’s encouraging, isn’t it? <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A-7c1c6hqys/VABNiwqX9KI/AAAAAAAAA_8/bbzZ95QtE9g/s1600/Freed%2BTo%2BBe%2BIn%2BOur%2BOwn%2BBed.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A-7c1c6hqys/VABNiwqX9KI/AAAAAAAAA_8/bbzZ95QtE9g/s400/Freed%2BTo%2BBe%2BIn%2BOur%2BOwn%2BBed.JPG" /><br /><br />Freed To Be In Our Own Bed</a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>In our own bed one month after hospital</b></div><br />Whatever the doctor says, maybe <i>this’ll</i> work: the beard’s coming off tomorrow. <br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-35508774489520242152014-08-28T19:30:00.000+01:002014-08-28T19:31:26.268+01:00So Who is The Doctor Anyway? All You Need To Know About Doctor Who<br />Last Saturday evening a new Doctor landed on BBC1, causing even his friends to wonder if they knew who he was any more. That’ll be doubly unnerving if you’re coming to the Doctor and the series for the first time. But don’t worry. It’s only as complicated as you want to make it. There’s really very little you need to know – and the easiest way to find out is to watch an episode of <i>Doctor Who</i>. But here’s a simple start… <br /><br /><br /><H6>What Do You Need To Know About <i>Doctor Who</i>?</H6><br />The Doctor is a traveller in time and space. He goes anywhere he likes, from Earth’s past, present and future to alien worlds and stranger places still. He respects life rather than authority, and obeys no-one else’s rules. He lives by his own joy in exploring new places and times, and by his own moral sense to fight oppression. He prefers to use his intelligence rather than violence, and he takes friends with him to explore the wonders of the Universe.<br /><br /><b>That’s it.</b><br /><br />OK, so that’s the important bit, but if you want answers to a few more questions, take a look at the headlines below and read the bits that you want to know about. Or you could just get on and watch an episode. <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KzHmLpCGbLw/U_9ieXhqYkI/AAAAAAAAA_M/V-xg2MaIElU/s1600/Three%2BThings%2BTo%2BKnow%2BAbout%2BDoctor%2BWho%2B1%2B%E2%80%93%2BThe%2BDoctor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KzHmLpCGbLw/U_9ieXhqYkI/AAAAAAAAA_M/V-xg2MaIElU/s640/Three%2BThings%2BTo%2BKnow%2BAbout%2BDoctor%2BWho%2B1%2B%E2%80%93%2BThe%2BDoctor.jpg" /><br /><br />Three Things To Know About <i>Doctor Who</i> 1 – The Doctor (subject to change)</a></div><br /><br /><H6>The Doctor – Who Is He? Why Does He Travel? </H6><br />He’s an alien, from a world whose rigidly authoritarian rulers watched over all of time and space – but without interfering. He found that just watching and keeping everything the same bored him, when he wanted to get out to meet people and experience things for himself. So he took a TARDIS and the name “the Doctor” and left. <br /><br /><br /><H6>The TARDIS – the Doctor’s Time-ship</H6><br />A TARDIS is a machine (or a place, or an event) for travelling through time and space, the name standing for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. The Doctor’s TARDIS was a bit old and unreliable back when he borrowed it from his people, and he’s patched it up and customised it many times in the perhaps a couple of thousand years that they’ve been travelling together. Just to make it even less likely it’ll go where he wants it to (but more likely to go where he needs it to), it’s quite literally got a mind of its own, too. It moves seemingly by vanishing from one place, then just appearing in the next, travelling not through ordinary space but a strange space-time vortex. <br /><br />The other big thing about the TARDIS is that its outside gives no sign of what’s inside. It used to disguise itself on landing so it wouldn’t be spotted, but when the Doctor arrived in the 1960s it got stuck on taking the form of a police box, a sort of dedicated phone booth before handy mobile communications. Inside, though, unfolds into many other dimensions and many different rooms. You’ll have noticed that it’s bigger inside than outside, then. So do most people who go in (unsurprisingly). And while the old blue exterior is pretty much a constant, from time to time the interior changes its style, colour, shape and tone, while keeping its essential character. Much like its pilot does… <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dMrDiyeq2f4/U_9g03BKq3I/AAAAAAAAA-8/yhOB3YHWHjg/s1600/Three%2BThings%2BTo%2BKnow%2BAbout%2BDoctor%2BWho%2B2%2B%E2%80%93%2BThe%2BTARDIS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dMrDiyeq2f4/U_9g03BKq3I/AAAAAAAAA-8/yhOB3YHWHjg/s400/Three%2BThings%2BTo%2BKnow%2BAbout%2BDoctor%2BWho%2B2%2B%E2%80%93%2BThe%2BTARDIS.jpg" /><br /><br />Three Things To Know About <i>Doctor Who</i> 2 – The TARDIS</a></div><br /><br /><H6>The Daleks – and Why the Doctor Fights Them</H6><br />Once he started travelling, the Doctor found that that the more experience he had of other people and places, the more he wanted to get involved, because the more he saw the urge to dominate others the more he wanted to stand up to it. He’s opposed bullies, tyrants and monsters from many alien races – and from his own, and from ours – but one enemy always comes back.<br /><br />Those he’s fought most often in their endless campaign to dominate and exterminate without question are the Daleks, alien conquerors in armoured mini-tanks with a hatred for all other races. They’re the ultimate dictators, the opposite of the Doctor’s own desire for freedom. <br /><br />The Daleks too developed time travel, leading to a cataclysmic Time War with the Doctor’s own people – which is a history so complicated that no-one has a full answer. But by the end of it, the Doctor seemed the only one left, so he just carries on travelling, making the most of life, seeing the sights, toppling empires, that sort of thing. And if that sounds like a dangerous lifestyle, it’s often been fatal… <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mdUdfTXH2dM/U_9g-uNHB1I/AAAAAAAAA_E/j3KCg4aaL1g/s1600/Three%2BThings%2BTo%2BKnow%2BAbout%2BDoctor%2BWho%2B3%2B%E2%80%93%2BThe%2BDaleks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mdUdfTXH2dM/U_9g-uNHB1I/AAAAAAAAA_E/j3KCg4aaL1g/s400/Three%2BThings%2BTo%2BKnow%2BAbout%2BDoctor%2BWho%2B3%2B%E2%80%93%2BThe%2BDaleks.jpg" /><br /><br />Three Things To Know About <i>Doctor Who</i> 3 – The Daleks</a></div><br /><br /><H6>How the Doctor Changes</H6><br />The Doctor’s people were each remarkably long-lived, so that helps more than moisturiser. But it’s not just that their bodies live for many hundreds of years. When they get too old, or are fatally injured, they’ve got a way of cheating death. At what would be the final moment, their body is reborn into a completely new one, giving them a new lease of life, shaking up their personality while remaining essentially the same person underneath. The Doctor’s had quite an eventful life, and the most recent body he’s been ‘born’ into is his… Well, it’s easiest to say it’s his twelfth. <br /><br /><br /><H6>How Old? How Many Bodies? …No, Nobody Else Really Knows Either </H6><br />Some people might tell you that the Doctor is now in his thirteenth, fifteenth or twenty-third body, and they’ll all be right, but just as with the Time War, no-one has a precise answer and it makes no difference to the story. Similarly, while the Doctor is as a rule honest, he’s at best a little confused over his precise age. Perhaps on occasion he’s dropped a few hundred years or so for vanity’s sake (my money’s on the one in the leather jacket having a mid-lives crisis). But like his precise number of bodies, the Doctor’s exact age isn’t something we need to know – just as well, really, as we’re never going to. Just nod sagely and say, ‘Ah, well, things got complicated in the Time War,’ because if time was getting messed up to that extent by rival peoples each with the power to control it, things were bound to, weren’t they?<br /><br />These disconcerting rebirths also help <i>Doctor Who</i> the series carry on when the actor playing the Doctor decides to leave, making it almost the only TV show that can recast its lead without hoping the audience are watching TV with the picture turned off or pretending it’s something to do with plastic surgery or showers. The latest actor to play the Doctor is Peter Capaldi.<br /><br /><br /><H6>What’s Special About <i>Doctor Who</i>?</H6><br />The TV series <i>Doctor Who</i> began broadcast in 1963, starring William Hartnell as the Doctor (the first three stories are available in the DVD box set <i>Doctor Who – The Beginning</i>). It ran continuously for more than a quarter of a century, making it the longest-running science fiction series in the world and inspiring an awful lot of people. Kept alive in books, audio plays and millions of imaginations, the TV version was reborn in 2005 and has again been a popular and critical success thanks to its sheer joy, its unique flexibility and, of course, to monsters like the Daleks. A bonus to the series always reinventing itself is that you don’t need to know any intricate details, ongoing plots or characters to follow it. Even the most involved elements change and get left behind (or even undone); happily, many of the best writers assume that every episode is someone’s first, and even if some are tempted to make no concessions to the viewer, the very variety of the series stops it ever becoming too impenetrable.<br /><br />It’s one bold central idea that’s important and that runs through now more than half a century of adventures. With <i>Doctor Who</i>, you can go pretty much anywhere and do pretty much anything, and always see that people everywhere are worthwhile, whether they’re people like us or green scaly rubber people. The Doctor believes in freedom, and hates ignorance, conformity and insularity. He doesn’t work for anyone, wear a uniform or carry a gun, making the series both very British and very anti-establishment. <br /><br /><i>Doctor Who</i> encourages people to think, to have fun, and to take a moral stand, but it’s wary of solving problems by shooting them. You don’t have to believe what you’re told, still less do what you’re told. And it’s spent several decades scaring children with nasty monsters, eerie places and even the music, which when you put it all together is what family entertainment is about – a show with enough in it to satisfy all ages, from action to excite the adults to sharp questions to keep the children intrigued. That’s how down the years it’s inspired spin-offs from novels to comics, from <i>Torchwood</i> to <i>The Sarah Jane Adventures</i> and many more.<br /><br />The best of <i>Doctor Who</i> would include a dash of horror, adventures in history, enough wit to make you smile, enough ideas and strangeness and to make you think, and enough action to get you excited. That’s probably too much to fit into just one piece of television, which takes you right back to the idea that you can go anywhere and do anything, because it’s not about just one piece of television, but different travels. Like the TARDIS, <i>Doctor Who</i> is bigger on the inside. It’s the only show where, if you don’t like where it’s ended up one week, if you want it to be scarier, or funnier, or more thoughtful, or more action-packed, the next week will be in a completely different place and time and probably in a completely different style, but still recognisably the same programme. <br /><br />That’s probably why I fell in love with it, anyway.<br /><br /><br /><H6>How Can You Find Out More? </H6><br />You can read more on this blog (and my occasionally updated others) and any of my terrifyingly in-depth <i>Doctor Who</i> articles that take your fancy, or there are at least hundreds of thousands of other web pages, books and learned articles (though, obviously, I don’t think they’ll be as good. As with everything else about <i>Doctor Who</i>, your tastes may vary). <br /><br /><b>But I wouldn’t just read, if I were you. <i>Doctor Who</i> is probably the best TV programme ever made, so the best way to find about it is just to watch it. Take a Deep Breath and plunge in. </b><br /><br />The new series started on BBC1 and on many other TV channels around the world <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/doctor-who-takes-deep-breath-for-more.html"target= "_blank">last Saturday</a>. Tune in every Saturday evening for the next three months to see more of it unfolding, brand new, that you know as much about as I do, with Peter Capaldi as the Doctor and whatever friends and foes there are to come. If you missed the first episode and are in the UK, it’s free on air this Friday (and doubtless many more times) on BBC3 and at times of your own choosing on BBC iPlayer.<br /><br />Or you can choose older stories in a multitude of formats – aside from the books and comics and CDs, you can find pretty much every single episode of the TV series on DVD and other formats, broadcasts, downloads and online (some of the latter even free and legal). <br /><br /><b>If you do want more than the new stories to warm your darkening Autumn nights but the incredible range of choice is bewildering, here are two suggestions that might help in your selection. Ready?</b><br /><br /><br /><H6>The Twelve-ish Faces of <i>Doctor Who</i></H6><br />It’s now a few days after the full-length debut of Peter Capaldi’s Doctor. Back in 2010, a few days before the full-length debut of his predecessor Matt Smith, I published my pick of “<a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/eleven-faces-of-doctor-who.html"target= "_blank">The Eleven Faces of <i>Doctor Who</i></a>” – one story for each Doctor, to introduce them all. Or, rather, two sets of one for each Doctor, one my pick of more populist stories (or as mainstream as<i> Doctor Who</i> gets), the other of stranger or more thoughtful tales. They’re all easily available on DVD, with several in other formats as well.<br /><br /><b><a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/eleven-faces-of-doctor-who.html"target= "_blank">Click here to look at both lists</a> and see if anything takes your fancy. Then watch one. </b><br /><br />They’re a good set of introductions for each of the other Doctors so far – except one. Four years later, there is of course a big addition to make.<br /><br />To celebrate the full Matt Smith, his Doctor deserves a full story too. My lovely Richard and I are in the middle of rewatching all his adventures, and though they’ve still not settled in enough for me to divide them into populist and strange, here are some particular favourites of mine from his era:<br /><ul><li><i>Amy’s Choice</i> – a brilliant sci-fi short story, and almost Matt Smith’s era in a nutshell<br /></ul></li><ul><li> <i>The Doctor’s Wife</i> – dark, strange and moving<br /></ul></li><ul><li> <i>The Crimson Horror</i> – and this Victorian horror story makes me laugh. </ul></li> Plus <ul><li><i>The Day of the Doctor</i> – the Fiftieth Anniversary special, starring three Doctors and featuring a great many more. </ul></li> Then choose your own Peter Capaldi story, because right now I’ve not seen those yet either! <br><br>Or perhaps, rather than the hero in his many faces, you want to get into the Daleks. If so, <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/daleks-top-twenty.html"target= "_blank">here’s another article I’ve prepared earlier</a> in which I explain who and what they are and give a rough idea of what I think of their stories so far. <br><br><br><H6>Tune In To #WHOonHorror </H6><br>If you’re in the UK and your TV can receive the Horror Channel, you’re in luck. Several months ago, the Horror Channel bought the rights to show thirty different <i>Doctor Who</i> stories – at least two from each of the first seven Doctors. <br><br><b>So my advice is, again, to turn on your telly (or other device) and watch one. </b><br><br>Apparently their <i>Doctor Who</i> selection has been doing very well for the channel’s ratings, so with luck they’ll still be showing them in their two-episodes-daily run for some time to come. Besides, who knows? They’ve been quite a success, so they might decide to get hold of more stories to show. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve made an excellent set of choices so far. The thirty Horror Channel <i>Doctor Who</i> stories include fifteen that I’d give nine or ten out of ten to – and just five I’d score lower than five out of ten. I’m not going to give you a great long list of them all my own order of preference, though, because there’s something good about all of them and everyone’s tastes vary. <br><br>But if you want to look out for my particular favourites, these get my personal ten out of ten: <ul><li><i>The Deadly Assassin</i><br /></ul></li><ul><li><i>The Talons of Weng-Chiang</i><br /></ul></li><ul><li><i>The Curse of Fenric</i><br /></ul></li><ul><li><i>Genesis of the Daleks</i><br /></ul></li><ul><li><i>The Mind Robber</i><br /></ul></li> <ul><li><i>The Caves of Androzani</i><br /></ul></li> <ul><li><i><a href="http://nexttimeteam.blogspot.co.uk/2009/01/unearthly-child.html"target= "_blank">An Unearthly Child</a></i></ul></li> They may or may not be great introductions to the series, but I love each of them especially, and if you happen to catch them on #WHOonHorror I can guarantee there’ll be something to entertain, amuse, scare, intrigue or offend. I just can’t guarantee which will apply to you. And if none of them happen to be scheduled for a repeat in the next few weeks, just try your luck and start with whichever one’s on! <br><br><br><H6>What <i>Doctor Who</i> People Say About <i>Doctor Who</i></H6><br>This is the third edition of an article I originally wrote in 2006 to introduce that year’s new series. <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2006/04/so-who-is-this-doctor-bloke-anyway.html"target= "_blank">Version one</a> and <a href="http://nexttimeteam.blogspot.co.uk/2007/03/so-who-is-this-doctor-bloke-anyway.html"target= "_blank">version two</a> are pretty much the same as each other; this time it’s more of a regeneration. Of my other <i>Doctor Who</i> writing, some of my favourite – and more bite-sized – pieces I’ve written to illustrate why <i>Doctor Who</i> is brilliant are a selection of great scenes and what makes them marvellous. These might be easier to take in than writing about a whole story at once. In theory there are going to be fifty of them eventually, but I’ve not quite got that far yet. Still, click here for my slowly growing <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Doctor%20Who%2050"target= "_blank"><i>Doctor Who</i> 50 Great Scenes</a> and choose one at random. <br><br>If you want a different perspective from mine, should you have a device that can read the <a href="http://www.doctorwhonews.net/2014/08/radio-times-10th-anniversary-radio.html"target= "_blank"><i>Radio Times</i> App</a>, this week’s issue (search for 23-29 August 2014) has a particularly special free gift. As well as having Peter Capaldi on the cover and several articles introducing the new series, the electronic version includes the <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/06/doctor-who-magazine-s-golden-treasure.html"target= "_blank"><i>Radio Times Doctor Who Tenth Anniversary Special</i></a> from 1973. I was given a tattered old second-hand copy when I was a small boy and loved it dearly, and I still think it’s one of the most gorgeous <i>Doctor Who</i> magazines that’s ever been published. It’s fun and it’s now free in electronic form with the ordinary issue, so I recommend it. <br><br><br><b>And finally, for another change from me, here’s what some of the most important creative talents behind the series in past and present have to say about <i>Doctor Who</i>:</b><br><br>Russell T Davies, <i>Doctor Who</i> lead writer for the 2005 relaunch and through the 2000s: <blockquote>“<i>Doctor Who</i> is the best idea ever invented in the history of the world.”</blockquote><br>Peter Capaldi, the new Doctor: <blockquote>“You should watch it if you want to nourish your heart and your soul – and if you want to be <i>scared</i>.”</blockquote><br>Jenna Coleman, the Doctor’s friend and current travelling companion, Clara: <blockquote>“If you like adventure, if you want to imagine that you could go anywhere in space and time – what would you do? Where would you go? It’s just a show full of infinite, infinite possibilities.”</blockquote><br>Steven Moffat, current <i>Doctor Who</i> lead writer: <blockquote>“<i>Doctor Who</i> is about a man who can travel anywhere in time and space in a box that’s bigger on the inside.”</blockquote><br>Verity Lambert, <i>Doctor Who</i> founding producer from 1963 to the mid-1960s: <blockquote>“He embodied the utmost complexity – he was sometimes dangerous or unpleasant, sometimes kind, sometimes foolish, but most importantly he was never a member of the establishment. He was always an outsider.”</blockquote><br>Terrance Dicks, <i>Doctor Who</i> lead writer during the early 1970s and author of more <i>Doctor Who</i> books than anyone else: <blockquote>“Much has changed about the Doctor over the years but much has remained the same. Despite the superficial differences in appearance, at heart, or rather at hearts (the Doctor has two) his character is remarkably consistent.<br>“He is still impulsive, idealistic, ready to risk his life for a worthy cause. He still hates tyranny and oppression and anything that is anti-life. He never gives in and he never gives up, however overwhelming the odds against him.<br>“The Doctor believes in good and fights evil. Though often caught up in violent situations, he is a man of peace. He is never cruel or cowardly.<br>“In fact, to put it simply, the Doctor is a hero. These days there aren’t so many of them around.”</blockquote><br><a href="http://alexwilcock.tumblr.com/post/81521732733/celebrating-robert-holmes"target= "_blank">Robert Holmes</a>, <i>Doctor Who</i> lead writer during the mid-1970s (and so the man who got me hooked, got me into politics and got me the man I love): <blockquote>“Let’s frighten the little buggers to death!”</blockquote><br><b>So why don’t you turn off my web page and go and watch a more interesting <i>Doctor Who</i> television programme instead? </b><br><br>Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21911390.post-30119072723494557732014-08-23T18:50:00.000+01:002014-08-23T20:13:37.224+01:00KKLAK! RROAR! Doctor Who Takes A Deep Breath For More Dinosaur Invasions<br />Will Peter Capaldi know how to fly the TARDIS in an hour’s time? Take a <i>Deep Breath</i>!<br /><br />We’re thrilled looking forward to the new Doctor, and an old monster. Sixty-seven million years old (today). <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0IpiPDCrEH4/U_jVbargj5I/AAAAAAAAA-c/0mZhhsE0Dk4/s1600/Doctor%2BWho%2BDeep%2BBreath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0IpiPDCrEH4/U_jVbargj5I/AAAAAAAAA-c/0mZhhsE0Dk4/s640/Doctor%2BWho%2BDeep%2BBreath.jpg" /><br /><br />Doctor Who – Deep Breath</a></div><br /><br />It’s not the first time dinosaurs have savaged London (and I’m not talking Boris vs Ken). <i>Doctor Who</i> history includes the 1974 story <i>Invasion of the Dinosaurs</i>, featuring Jon Pertwee and, <a href="http://loveandliberty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/dvd-detail-doctor-who-unit-files-box.html"target= "_blank">as I’ve written before… Some problems</a>. But it also boasts one of the most fabulous book covers (and onomatopoeic effects) ever devised. <br /><br /><i>Doctor Who: The New Adventures – Blood Heat</i> is a more thrilling if more obscure 1993 story published as part of <a href="http://timechampions.blogspot.co.uk/"target= "_blank">the brilliant continuing book range</a> that kept the series and Sylvester McCoy’s Doctor alive in the 1990s. It even features Silurians, too! But the cover of Jim Mortimore’s novel, while thrilling, isn’t quite as awesome as that of Malcolm Hulke’s novelisation from 1976. So I’ve drawn a very subtle bonus feature to fix that. I think you’ll agree it was just what it needed.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CaYtmb6QHA8/U_jU3wbPWlI/AAAAAAAAA-M/kfc9AxDjjlg/s1600/Doctor%2BWho%2BDinosaur%2BInvasions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CaYtmb6QHA8/U_jU3wbPWlI/AAAAAAAAA-M/kfc9AxDjjlg/s640/Doctor%2BWho%2BDinosaur%2BInvasions.jpg" /><br /><br />Doctor Who and the Dinosaur Invasion and Blood Heat</a></div><br /><br />I don’t know what tonight’s story will bring us, aside of course from another Tyrannosaur in the capital and a Doctor who’s at last not hiding his age, but I hope it’ll be every bit as exciting as its two predecessors. Now all they need is to commission a book version and a proper painted cover – both Chris Achilleos and Jeff Cummins are still around. There’s only one way to decide which… FIGHT!<br /><br /><b>KKLAK! </B><br /><br /><b>RROAR! </B><br /><br /><b>VWORP VWORP! </B><br /><br />See it in an hour.<br /><br />Alex Wilcockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03364653159038708678noreply@blogger.com0