Friendship at first sight is definitely a thing

We know about love at first sight, but did you know you can fall in friendship?

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An article in The Science of Us has garnered a lot of attention this week, as it explains that it’s not just romantic feelings that can occur straight away.

Looking at the many studies that analyse how we form friendships – what is it about someone that makes us decide we want to be friends with them, anyway?! – the research collated says it’s a combination of first impressions (this can take as little as one tenth of a second!) instinct, a person’s decision-making abilities, memories and the unique way individual’s tap into and access their emotions.

Kelly Campbell, a psychology professor at California State University helmed a study on ‘friendship chemistry’ explained to The Science of Us “when you first see the person, you don't realise how many judgments you're making, but you're actually gathering information that's telling you if this person fills those needs for you.”

And the needs, specifically?

“We care about someone who’s going to be fun, that we can enjoy ourselves with… You need emotional support, social support, you want then to be loyal and trustworthy [and] you don’t want to feel judged,” says Campbell, which explains why we gravitate towards some people – and not others.

But in the same way Cupid’s bow can strike you and not the object of your affection unrequited friendship is totally a thing, too. We’ve all been on the receiving end - and the cold shoulder is savage.

Another problem with deciding someone is going to be the Dion to your Cher, the Tina to your Amy or the Gayle to your Oprah, is that you’re putting blind faith, so to speak, into the relationship. And at some point or another, we’ve all experienced how damaging that can be – in a romantic context, or otherwise.

Of course, like any relationship, a great friendship takes work – however compatible you might be.