You will need to sign on with your LLLID (La Leche League ID) before you can post. If you have never claimed your LLLID, create your LLLID now. To sign in, click the LLLID Sign On button in the upper right corner. Enter your LLLID Alias and click the button again.

11 month old ...sleep battle continues

I need help. my 11 month old has always been a horrible sleeper. and I know that and have heard that frequent wakings and nursing sessions is normal but I don't know how much more sleep deprivation I can handle. we have always co-slept mostly our of necessity. he has always needed to nurse during the night. sometime every hour. we've had a couple of random night were he'd get 1 good 3 hr stretch but normal for us is constant waking. and the only thing to keep him asleep and calm is nursing. some nights I am tethered to him for hours on end. unable to even get up to use the bathroom. and sometimes this doesn't even work. lots of rocking and walking and singing... lately he wakes up crying & distressed. I'm exhausted and so is my husband. his naps are pretty horrible too. I have never been successful at getting him to even nap on his own. most if his naps include me wearing him or sitting rocking him the entire time and nursing him. he's been ebf he is not too interested in solids mostly just experimenting with it. he's a great nurser and is a heathly weight and height. frankly I'm to tired to even focus on reading the sleep books I have. I'm going in a year without much of any long sleep stretches and I feel like I'm going crazy. any suggestions would be helpful. I just don't know what to do anymore. it's really taking a toll on our lives... To top it all off we live in a new city where we have no support. I'm so overwhelmed and could really use some advice.

Re: 11 month old ...sleep battle continues

I'm so sorry that you are so tired mama! I can only imagine what it's like being up so often - DD had some reverse cycling for 2 days (up every hour) and I was completely exhausted. So major hugs for you

I know that many people here are advocated of co-sleeping, and I was too until about 6 months or so. I found it extremely difficult to try and get in and out of our room, and I noticed that every time I would get into bed at night, DD would wake up - no matter the time or when she went to bed - maybe she smelled me or something? It was very convenient having her in our room, but having her in her OWN room has helped her tremendously when it comes to self soothing. It also so happens that whenever she moves a muscle, I wake up like a crazed mama looking instinctually for the tiger who is going to eat my baby!!

Around 4 months we started doing a modified CIO for naps and bed time. This would be doing the routine of book reading, giving her the pacifier, kissing night night, and leaving the room. If she needed to cry, she did so for 2 minutes, then went up and soothed her by giving her the paci back, saying "it's nap/bed time. i love you!" and leaving. If she still cried, then we would give her 5 minutes, then go up and repeat. She is now close to 11 months and the longest she has ever cried was about 10 minutes. I still got up every time she woke up in the middle of the night and nursed her, in her own room. If it had only been an hour or so, I would give her the pacifier back. Nowadays, she is able to self sooth back to sleep, sometimes w/o the paci. She has been getting up maybe 2 times in the night to eat, last night only one!

Now, I'm not sure what your personal philosophy is about crying. My brother, for example, said from the beginning that I should just let me DD cry until she falls back asleep, because that worked with his family. They all slept in the same room. That just didn't gel with me, same room or not. I couldn't hear my baby cry for over 10 minutes, it just didn't seem right, and it feel painful to know she was upset. However, I am glad we did what we did because she does well at nap time and bed time, and through the night sometimes she'll stir for a second, but find her way back on her own. It took a lot of patience and consistency, but we got there. I'm sure your LO is so used to falling asleep and waking up with mama, being rocked to sleep, etc. I'm not saying that you'll be rocking him when he's 18 haha but at some point you will need to put your foot down and just let him figure it out!

Do you have any help around you that could come while you nap during the day? Could you pump and have hubby give a bottle at night?

Re: 11 month old ...sleep battle continues

thank you for the link... it seems like a reasonable plan. and i think i am ready to try something different. it's also helpful that he cuts straight too it. all the sleep books i've tried to read take getting thru chapters before hitting the plan. so thank you.

i have considered that his access to me is definitely adding to the problem. we've been so tired that we have only been able to get by. there is a crib in our room and i had very good intentions of trying to get him in there for at least naps. on good days i am able to get him to nap on our bed. that only happens about 1 a week. my husband does take him during nights. he does a lot of the walking and sometimes they sleep in our guest bedroom together for a little while maybe an hour and a half. last night i just put him down and let him cry for a few minutes because i was at my witts end. which makes me feel bad. then i'm depressed the next day (like today) and wish it was an easy solution. we tried many of these strategies when we was younger but nothing has every worked.

i'm going to try the jay gordon method first... and see how that goes. thanks for the support. i really need it.