This year’s game was a return to that turgid past, with the Denver Broncos beating the Carolina Panthers 24-10, in a contest with enough flags, fumbles, and failure play to make up a season highlight package for the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Yet this year there was not even the saving grace of inventive ads designed to make us sit up in our seats. If you were from another planet and judged earth solely on the basis of these Super Bowl advertisements, you’d be forgiven for thinking that we are a place of heterosexual breeders who somehow find people to have unprotected sex with, despite our toe fungus, irritable bowel syndrome, or opioid constipation. As much as $5 million was spent for every 30 seconds of commerce, with Big Pharma ubiquitous in its presence. Their ads had such an unrelenting scatological tone that my Twitter feed was filled with references to the “Pooper Bowl” or the “Super Bowel.” Second to the parade of prescription drugs were the NFL ads “celebrating” the children who were born nine months after the Super Bowl throughout the years. It wasn’t endearing, it was creepy.

Even the night’s highlight: Beyonce’s performance of her fierce new single “Formation” felt like it was cut way too short because the halftime concert organizers clearly needed more time for… Coldplay. The British band was such an awkward choice for the halftime festivities that they brought in Beyoncé and Bruno Mars to save the day. The two certainly tried, but Chris Martin, the lead singer of Coldplay, kept poking his head between the two performers like a cold shower. Far more importantly, Queen Bey’s background dancers gave us the photo of the night, holding up a photo that read “Justice for Mario Woods,” remembering the young man who died in a hail of gunfire at the hands of San Francisco police. It demonstrated that the black berets and X formations of Beyoncé’s set were not just radical chic but represented a depth, substance, and concrete links to the call for justice.

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It does, however, speak volumes that the highlight of the evening was a photo posted on Twitter. The lowlight was seeing Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, the NFL’s MVP, get humbled by a historically great Denver Broncos defense. It reminded me of legendary New York Times sportswriter Robert Lipsyte’s description of seeing Muhammad Ali toy with Floyd Patterson as resembling the act of “pulling off the wings of a butterfly piecemeal.” For people who had fallen for Cam, the night was difficult to endure. According to ESPN’s stats department, Cam “was pressured on 42.9% of his dropbacks, the highest percentage in a game of his career.” After the game, he walked out of his press conference after three minutes, which has already led to a new round of dim-witted, starch-headed takes about his faults as a leader. Cam Newton is not a bad leader. Cam Newton is a human being, although a human being that clearly a great many people—after his epic season—wanted to see brought low.

Meanwhile, as Cam Newton was pilloried, 39-year-old Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning was glorified. Despite the fact that he also played a wretched game by any statistical measure, despite the fact that he is being investigated by the NFL for using human growth hormones (to be clear, I don’t give a shit what any of these athletes put in their bodies to play the most violent sport on earth), he was lionized in the aftermath as the ultimate role model. Meanwhile, former player Bill Romonowski called Cam Newton “boy” on Twitter. (He later deleted the tweet and apologized.)

It was that kind of a night. Unless you were somehow connected to the city of Denver, a big fan of awful offensive line play, or appreciate the quicksilver fast Broncos linebacker Von Miller, it was difficult to endure. The ugliness of it all turned damn near satirical when Peyton, in what may be his last game, took time after the contest to kiss his business partner John Schnatter, the owner of Papa John’s Pizza, on the cheek and namedropped Budweiser on national television. Even with his entire family looking on, even in the afterglow of what was perhaps his last time on a football field, Peyton still found time to shill. It was uncomfortable and even nauseating to witness. It was also completely in tune with the environment. This is the NFL: a warped moral universe where Peyton is a hero, Cam is a villain, we all cuss each other out on social media, and the guys in the backroom count the money laughing at the rubes. They say, “The NFL Is Family,” but maybe Commissioner Roger Goodell’s marketeers are making a cheeky organized-crime reference, since it is not a family worth claiming as your own.

What I wonder is why so many of these comments involve being rude instead of dealing with the issues Dave Zirin raises. If you disagree with him, fine, say so, but does it hurt to be civil?

(5)(0)

Philip Millersays:

February 9, 2016 at 12:19 am

wow. I think you have no idea what you talking about. But this is more and more typical of what passes for journalism today.

This was a defensive battle! Like a pitchers dual where the score is 1-0. So it looks boring because no runs are scored. And so neither QB really shined. It was all about defense. That is why the MVP was a defensive player.

And BTW, growth hormone does not improve performance as is so often alleged. Complete ignorance of the facts. It enhances recovery of injuries. That's it.

Finally Beyonce was not the show which I thought was the most creative and well choreographed show ever. It was about Cold Play then about Bruno Mars who were all fantastic. Ending with the card stunt at the end with a message of hope. Beyonce was awful!

(7)(8)

Robert Goldsteinsays:

February 8, 2016 at 4:50 pm

I watched Super Bowl 50 the same way that I watch virtually all sports--on my DVR, skipping all commercial interruptions and other distractions. If I did not have that capability, I might have given up on sports spectating long ago. And I have to agree with Dave, this game was a real dud from a fan's point of view. I do appreciate great defense, but I also expect at least a modicum of decent offense. I saw none.

(13)(1)

Carla Cheshiresays:

February 8, 2016 at 4:17 pm

I tend to agree, Dave. I had a hard time watching and the game was covered poorly by CBS. Why wasn't the supposed non-catch that was challenged by the Panthers not a catch? It sure looked like one to me. No explanation. Looked like the kicker was run into on the punt where the Broncos had a huge run back because the Panthers thought it was a fair catch. No replay on that part, no explanation. The commercials were horrible. If the reason that advertisers pay $5m for 30 sec. is to sell their product, they lost it. You couldn't even tell what they were selling with all the fire-shooting, spinning, twirling animation. It's like the artists ran wild with super effects and advertisers said Wow, Cool! If people don't remember the name of your product let alone what the hell the product even was you've wasted the time and money spent on promotion. I'm glad I found out this morning what Beyoncés performance was about because although it looked cool I couldn't tell. I get so distracted by all the dancing, moving, noisey, over-production that I lose track of the meaning, the substance, the truth of what it's about.

(19)(1)

Harry Piotrowski says:

February 8, 2016 at 4:07 pm

Get over it. Your team lost. It had no answer - and that includes its vaunted quarterback - to the Denver defense. I cannot imagine even Cam Newton saying (as you seem to be saying), "hey, my line let me down." And keep in mind, Newton is capable of sayin just about anything - except at the post-game conference when the cat, uncharacteristically, got his tongue. A true profile in class and courage.

(8)(12)

Frank Doughertysays:

February 8, 2016 at 2:47 pm

Hey, don't be so hard on Dave. The gist of his article was right on: the Super Bowl exists, not because it actually proves which is the best team, but that it is a money maker---crassly, and at the expense of we viewers. Last night's game wasn't even average football.

(20)(4)

Linda Gentschsays:

February 8, 2016 at 2:45 pm

This guy is your sports commentator? Really? After reading " This year’s game was a return to that turgid past, with the Denver Broncos beating the Carolina Panthers 24-10, in a contest with enough flags, fumbles, and failure play to make up a season highlight package for the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers." I stopped reading. That was one of the most awesome defensive games I have ever seen and I've been watching pro football for more than 50 years.

(12)(13)

Jack Campbellsays:

February 8, 2016 at 2:01 pm

Dear Dave, when you come to a fully formed opinion let me know. No one forced you to turn it on. Your assessment of Coldplay was right on, and i doubt you are a Broncs fan. Newton got his ears pinned back by a defense that was remarkable.
You got your disgust button pushed about something else, all the money that was and is flowing around a brutal sport i figger, and i think pugilism is more brutal.
Anyhow, it helped keep me off the streets for a few hours even if my Boyz weren't involved.
Tip: next year don't watch if it makes you dyspeptic.

(5)(17)

Doug Mageesays:

February 8, 2016 at 1:06 pm

Just before the game yesterday I posted a prediction about Super Bowl 60 (that's not a typo) which might add to this observation. https://medium.com/@Reellies/a-prediction-for-super-bowl-60-not-a-typo-c4923ce8894a#.4b4ys1mki

(3)(0)

000933044says:

February 8, 2016 at 12:46 pm

Right on target. Sickening is the only word to explain the implosion of the spectacle that took even the once-creative ads with it down the drain. God Awful. And Cam's exit from the post-game torture was the most eloquent comment of the night: bravo to him for cutting it short.

(22)(9)

Pierre Jorissays:

February 8, 2016 at 12:21 pm

Best thing about the SuperBow(e)l? Spring training can't be far off.

(22)(3)

Rolland Smithsays:

February 8, 2016 at 12:10 pm

Yes, but someone had to mirror my sentiments of this great American religious mass celebration. We left before the first half was over. There was a good mystery on MHZ.

(15)(4)

Michael G Shawsays:

February 8, 2016 at 2:53 pm

Why did you even bother to start watching the game? And even better question is why do you even follow the NFL at all? After being a lifelong NFL fan, I got more and more turned off until I completely stopped following it. I haven't watched any NFL game for over two years and no super bowl game for over four years. Neither do I ever read or watch anything about the NFL, which, as you might imagine, is pretty difficult to do given the massive amount of coverage in the media. (The only reason that I am even commenting here is that I always read Dave Zirin's articles.)

(10)(2)

Robert Seidelsays:

February 8, 2016 at 12:03 pm

I have no idea why the Nation needs a sports editor, and this rant doesn't give me a clue.