<Rant> Road Vigilantes

As a professional driver, (I drive, as a profession) I have a few complaints to make about people out there. But it's all stuff that everyone rants about. Signals, make-up appliers, busted taillights or whatnot. But I have a special one to rant about...

Road Vigilantes.

Road Vigilantes think they know what's best all around. And they also think that I (or you) are driving far too fast for our abilities. They will block your passes, slam on the brakes, and then when you finally show them your ass (Pass them) they will THEN decide to speed up and ride your ass like a doberman on X. They will flash their lights, honk their horn, and generally show their disdain with you.

This must end.

As a pizza driver, I know my streets very well . And when I'm travelling down RT 110 (Long and straight, down a steep hill) and someone is doing the speed limit - I'm fine. But they hold on the brake THE WHOLE DAMNED TIME. This means that when something REALLY jumps out in front of them, I have no way of telling. As good as no brakelights at all.

So I pass them. Regardless of their speed. I simply don't want to be behind them. Their answer ? RACE ME ! Of course! So we race, but I can pass because I've learned to give no warning of my passing (they don't need the warning under most conditions). Then they will get right on my ass, and trek after me with lights flashing and horn honking. They will yell things at me. They will call me crazy, or worse.

They feel it's their duty to slow my crazy, and obviously unskilled ass down. They MUST do it ! To protect the children! Seeing how the Road Vigilante normally sports $20 KMart tires, $10 brakes (The cheapest brake job in town) and NEVER replace a suspension component, they usually back down quickly when they themselves lose control of the car.

But tonight was a little different. Tonight I was driving past my town's Green. The Monroe Green is about 2 miles short of my house, and it's all downhill and twisty to my house. Needless to say, I know this road with one eye tied behind my back. I drift, I go about the speedlimit, and I can never drive beyond my own equipment, experience and skill.

So at the Green, a Cop decides I'm going too fast. I'm not going the speed limit, but I am going to fast for snow. He's seen people slide and brake right into poles, mailboxes, and houses all night, and I'm simply a treat. He engages a pursuit.

I honestly didn't know this was happening behind me. So I got to the School to do some Donuts in the deeper snow. I finish up, and who comes skidding down the road Barney Fife style but Officer MichelinMan. Who pulls me over and proceeds to give me a huge "yellin' at" because I'm going too fast for the road, regardless of speedlimits.

I think he was jealous. But I listened, "Yessired' him to death and took off like a bat of out hell. Again, He disappeared into my rear view mirror faster than he came into it.

He just felt it was necessary to say something, to do SOMETHING to prove how big of a man he was. He couldn't just let me do donuts in a parking lot. No, he had to throw me off the property, threaten me, and then tell me that I had no clue what I was doing. Viglantes. Feh, I've had it up to here with them. It's a shame that we feel the need to be respectful to Cops, or else I would tell them the same thing I tell everyone else "What? I can't hear you! My stereo is too loud!" or "I'm sorry, I didn't see you because my windows are actually painted over! Sorry!"

i only read the first part, and as an amateur driver, i agree with you. but when a big fucking van is fucking tailgating me on wet/snowy conditions roads...I get a little pissed because sometimes I have to slam on thebrakes cause of these gay ass fort wayne indiana lights turning yellow when youre still within the ticket-if-you-go-thru area.

i brake chcekd this fucker today and he got the message adn moved over 2 lanes and stayed the fuck away from me. Fucking buckeye drivers.

i find an effective tool is the "fist full of pennies"... i keep all my pennies in a seperate container in the car specificly so when i come across one of these fuckin asshats i can grab a fist full and chuck them out the window or sunroof at them they will either freak out and back the fuck off .... or you will get a rather exciting chace

I am a road vigilante that is after the MORONS that get in my way, or really shouldn't be allowed to drive int he first place.

I see no problem with your rant, because I don't see any problem with what you've done, but when someone directly endangers or indirectly by endangering someone driving around me, I am set to kill.

Example:

Last week, I'm driving a friend home from work who lives just around the corner. We are going 50 in a 40 on a nice straight 4 lane street, and there is a light ahead. I am within 100 feet of the light, so close that if the light had turned yellow, I would have just gone through it, that's how close I was. Some jackass in an older Mirage comes up to the light at the cross street, proceeds to never slow down, and apparently never checks the cross traffic and blows right out into my inside lane, the outside being completely open, and not another car in sight anywhere (almost midnight). (This exact same situation, cell phone idiot and all, happened to the person in the car with me, and he now has a totalled '03 Sentra Spec V on his hands)

I proceed to LAY on the horn, and flash my lights a couple of times. I pull up beside the assknocker, and it's some asian guy, about 20ish, on his cell phone. NO SHIT. #2 pet peeve.

CELL PHONE IDIOT DRIVERS. (note: if you are driving reasonably on you cell phone, I have no beef, just the idiotic people that can't think and talk at the same time)

So I am beside the guy. I pick up my cell phone, and the guy looks over. I SCREAM as loud as I can, IF YOU CAN'T DRIVE AND TALK, THEN HANG THE FUCK UP!!! He looks over for a glance, then straight ahead, still talking.

To really get his attention, I get in front of the guy, and slow down to about 20 mph. He slows and follows for a little way, then attempts to pass in the next lane. I proceed to the next lane for the block. He goes back to the other lane again, and I let him come up to my door, and do the "HANG UP" routine again. The guy gives me the bird. Asshole. I see him hang up the phone after a few seconds more, and he just looks straight ahead, still driving slowly.

I proceed to drive directly next to the guy, who is only doing 25 mph still at this point, looking straight ahead. Not going out of my way, we apparently are going the same direction, so I'm right beside him for 2+ miles. He doesn't make any motion, looks, or anything my direction,a nd the cell phone is in his nifty little hanger on his dash. Aww. How cute.

I reach my turn, and leave the guy alone. By the time we separated, the guy had become so white, he passed for Michael Jackson. Dufus.

i too deliver pizza. what pisses me off the most is the little things a major one is entry to the turning lane the idiots always freekin slow way the fuck down to enter the turning lane. every other sane person gets in the lane then brakes. Thats gotten the bird a few times. and the fucker in the 4500 pd suv that comes to a complete stop at every speed bump i could take at 20mph. But yea people are so bad here i see a wreck every shift guranteed. Why does everyone always wanna race the pizza guy?.. thats another gurantee

I'm lucky, and unlucky at the same time. My restaurant doesn't give me a pizza sign. And while that's nice to avoid people who target delivery drivers, It's a bit of a pain because the cops don't know who I am. In my area, I've found that cops do give more respect to adult pizza drivers. They will let me pass, even wave, higher than speedlimit. They remember my car (I guess I'm one of 3 Civics in my town). The other Civics are also pro drivers - One does test deliveries to hospitals (Blood and guts in a cooler) the other is a pizza driver in the neighboring town (TenTen). So we all know and wave when we pass.

Likewise, I 'll let people follow me to the restaurant (My boss will kill them). So they call my boss and scream at him (This happened in our snow day Sunday).

I got a call at the restaurant to complain about "That shit kid in the blue car". I was the only one working, so I know it was me. Going too fast, going to kill someone.. yadda yadda...

There have been times when some young faggot just out of the marines cop has pulled me over, and all I could think of was reaching for his gun as he looked the other way (obviously not threatened by this innocent "opi" looking whiteboy) and blasting the pompous fucker in his head.

fucking cops need to learn their place in society....they walk around like they lord above all society...

when in reality it is the attorneys, judges, politicians and lawmakers who indeed rule above all of us.

One of the first lessons in life a first year law student learns is how fucking unintelligent, ignorant, and just plain stupid a cop actually is. More than one professor has mentioned something to this effect during the course of the first semester. not that it was any surprise to me.....

Originally posted by Tonyd0821@Dec 7 2003, 04:13 PM There have been times when some young faggot just out of the marines cop has pulled me over, and all I could think of was reaching for his gun as he looked the other way (obviously not threatened by this innocent "opi" looking whiteboy) and blasting the pompous fucker in his head.

Originally posted by Celerity@Dec 7 2003, 04:16 PM I got a call at the restaurant to complain about "That shit kid in the blue car". I was the only one working, so I know it was me. Going too fast, going to kill someone.. yadda yadda...

Originally posted by Celerity@Dec 7 2003, 04:16 PM I got a call at the restaurant to complain about "That shit kid in the blue car". I was the only one working, so I know it was me. Going too fast, going to kill someone.. yadda yadda...

-> Steve

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someone came into the pizza place yesterday to say how a driver of ours was doing 80 down West Jefferson...now even though I can believe it, that was probably a crazy over-exagguration.

fucking cops need to learn their place in society....they walk around like they lord above all society...

when in reality it is the attorneys, judges, politicians and lawmakers who indeed rule above all of us.

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Please don't turn this into something it's not. I am not interested in some meaningless war of words with you, I would just like to add my .02 cents also. Now I don't know you personally, nor any other member of this board, but who's the first person you call when your house is getting broken into? Perhaps you personally don't call the police or perhaps you handle it differently, but I think the average person does dial the police first. Sure there's some dimwitted, rookie, over abusive poilce, but I've lived in 13 states and have yet to see the police act as if they are lord above all society. Perhaps it is that way in places I've yet to visit, I just have never personally witnessed any of it. I know that the police have saved my ass too many times to count, so maybe I'm biased. I just beleive that the media tends to over dramatize police incidents which in turn make people lean to the observation that all police are jack boot thugs. Like I said, this is just my opinion, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt.

@Dec 7 2003, 04:13 PM There have been times when some young faggot just out of the marines cop has pulled me over, and all I could think of was reaching for his gun as he looked the other way (obviously not threatened by this innocent "opi" looking whiteboy) and blasting the pompous fucker in his head.

fucking cops need to learn their place in society....they walk around like they lord above all society...

when in reality it is the attorneys, judges, politicians and lawmakers who indeed rule above all of us.

Click to expand...

Please don't turn this into something it's not. I am not interested in some meaningless war of words with you, I would just like to add my .02 cents also. Now I don't know you personally, nor any other member of this board, but who's the first person you call when your house is getting broken into? Perhaps you personally don't call the police or perhaps you handle it differently, but I think the average person does dial the police first. Sure there's some dimwitted, rookie, over abusive poilce, but I've lived in 13 states and have yet to see the police act as if they are lord above all society. Perhaps it is that way in places I've yet to visit, I just have never personally witnessed any of it. I know that the police have saved my ass too many times to count, so maybe I'm biased. I just beleive that the media tends to over dramatize police incidents which in turn make people lean to the observation that all police are jack boot thugs. Like I said, this is just my opinion, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt.

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whoa, calm down there tiger...I wasn't trying to start anything with you...

Who do I call when my house is being broke into? My Smith and Wesson .40, my expert marksmanship and the 16-odd years I have in handling and shooting guns.

Im 28. I have a baby face and could easily pass off for 21?...

I am treated like shit by a fucking cops, untill I open my mouth and they realize just who they are dealing with. Their attitudes change pretty quickly from "mr. badass to mr. respectable" in a matter of seconds.

I dont dress "the part". I look like any normal guy out here in southern california and could blend in with the best of them. Im not from a gang. I do not speak the English language like some wigger. Unlike my personality on hondaswap.com...

I'm educated, intelligent, well spoken and respected by those in the educational and legal community where I live.

Cops just think they own the fucking streets. They dont. In reality they are over-paid civil servants who generally speaking (on a whims notice) like to take the law into their own hands and interpret as they see fit.

They really need to learn their place in society. Cops are NOT supermen. Cops are NOT lawmakers. Cops are not "bad asses" Cops are MIDDLE CLASS CIVIL SERVANTS.

Their attitudes must reflect the class from which they are from.
Cops are only there to enforce whatever laws are on the books. Plain and simple. Get rid of the fucking "im such a badass" mentality, and I will have no problem with them.

Im not a criminal. I dont steal, dont do drugs, dont break the law (i sometimes drive a little "peppy"....but who doesnt in the right conditions)

But other than my "peppy" driving skills, I am an outstanding law abiding citizen that detests purported authority such as the police.

FUCK THEM.

Who do I respect? My local and national politicians, attorneys, judges and law makers. .

Like I said, I've never lived out there, so I don't know what the cops treat people like on the West coast. I was just referring to what I have witnessed in the states I've lived. I do find it hard to beleive that you've never been in a position to ask for help from the police though. Oh well, I'm sure it's a whole different world there. Good luck with your expert marksmanship and firearms experience. If it works for you, more power to you.

Originally posted by Wycked Sniper@Dec 7 2003, 08:50 PM Like I said, I've never lived out there, so I don't know what the cops treat people like on the West coast. I was just referring to what I have witnessed in the states I've lived. I do find it hard to beleive that you've never been in a position to ask for help from the police though. Oh well, I'm sure it's a whole different world there. Good luck with your expert marksmanship and firearms experience. If it works for you, more power to you.

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i have been to the Redondo Beach police range, as well as the LAX gun range.

You would be hard pressed to find out who shot what by comparing my groupings with the groupings of that of a "expert marksman" police officer.

And please try toning down the sarcasm in your posts....It really is not too becoming....