You know Awesomenauts, the game I wouldn't shut up about and then I did shut up about? Well, now I'm un-shut upping because Awesomenauts: Starstorm has hit Steam for early access.

Starstorm is an expansion for my beloved cartoon MOBA. It promises to deliver not one, not two, not three, not four, but five brand-new playable 'Nauts. Plus a whole load of other features, such as custom game modes (ever wanted to get rid of turrets and bots and just kill each other? You can!), multiple 'Nauts on the same team (Ever wanted to get rid of turrets and bots so you could just kill each other with armies of French chameleons? You can!!), and a spectator mode (Ever wanted to get rid of turrets and bots so you could just kill each other with armies of French chameleons? No? Well, now you can watch others do that, you big pansy).

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Unfortunately, most of that stuff isn't out right now. (Early access, remember?) So right now you pretty much only get access to one new character, Ted McPain.

From what I've played, Ted is a beast. He's got ridiculously high firepower and crazy-good normal weapons. He can freely switch between using his assault riffle and his shotgun. His assault riffle is the standard pew-pew gun just with a higher rate of fire. Over time it can deal decent damage. But his shotgun is where most of your damage will come from. It deals crazy amounts of damage and pierces enemies, meaning you can easily rip through multiple enemies in only a few shots. The downside to this weapon is that Ted has to reload the gun, which takes a while and can be disastrous if in the middle of a big battle.

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Ted's second ability depends on what weapon he has out. If he's holding the assault riffle, he gets access to an air strike, which is basically a narrow column that causes damage after a brief start-up. If he's using his shotgun, he gets the stimpac. This causes damage to Ted, but improves the rate of fire of his weapons for a few seconds. With a few upgrades it can also make him move faster, instantly reload his shotgun, and up his attack power. Still, it takes away a good chunk of health, so I didn't find myself using it much.

A few other notes about Ted: while he has above-average health, he still isn't on Clunk's or Skrolldir's level. He can't really tank like those characters. Also, Ted doesn't have any double jump or glide like other characters. And, interestingly enough, he can't run backwards while shooting any of his weapons, so you can't take pot-shots at enemies or bots while running away like other characters. Roll that together and you've got a mighty offensive character who doesn't have any good exit strategies if things get bad.

So yeah, that's Starstorm so far. it's $8.99 on Steam and it promises some really good content for the price. Just not right now. So I wouldn't blame you if you held off. Still, TED MC PAIN!! You know you want some of that!