Little disturbing things people say?

so a girl i'm chatting with comments, "i'm ready to find someone to be in a relationship with" and i know she didn't mean it bad, but i thought, "jeez, what, were you a slut all the years past having casual sex, but actually having a relationship is a big step you're ready for now?"

anyone else hear little disturbing things like that? or am i reading way too much into it?

Most Helpful Guy

What Girls Said 8

Um. Has it ever crossed your mind that she went through a bad break up? Or that she has been too busy focusing on other things in her life like education/her career? Or that she simply didn't feel ready emotionally for a relationship? To assume that this girl has only had casual sex is very judgmental of you, she could very well be inexperienced or have very little experience in general. Seems to me like you just have an extremely negative mindset and would blindly bash anyone because you refuse to have an open mind.

A person's sexual past doesn't necessarily determine the quality of their future relationships.If you're so concerned with it, then instead of jumping to conclusions and assuming she's had a lot of casual sex, just ask her what she means by that and why she feels she wasn't ready in the past. No need to start slut-shaming anyone.

When a guy says it, it means he's done partying and is ready to settle down, find a lovely woman, perhaps eventually make her his wife, and start a family. Good for you, man!

Girl says same thing: what a slut!

Yet guys continue to wonder why we tend to be selective about who we sleep with, or even associate sex with shame and low self worth. Nicely done, men. Nicely done.

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Asker

just because girls are dumb and like players or date guys they know are players doesn't mean i need to be a moron and do the same. i on purpose didn't rack up a high count, so why shouldn't i get to be expect the same?

And how do you know she has racked up a high count? Just because she hasn't been in a relationship lately doesn't necessarily mean she's been out there sleeping with anyone and everyone. She could have been single, she could be a virgin. She could have social anxiety, or have gone through a rough break up. Being ready for a relationship could mean anything, really. A bit judgmental to automatically assume the worst, wouldn't you think?