a delightful trip into the dark mind of an evil genius or simply the musings of an asshole

Monday, June 2, 2014

while waiting in line at the post office for 20 minutes...

as much as i like living in a small town, waiting in line at the post office for 20 minutes to pick up a package that couldn't fit in my po box is painful. especially when the jackass in front of the line is one of these assholes that makes a living selling shit off of ebay and is somehow fascinated with stamps that have Charlton Heston on them. worse yet, the fucker didn't know he was dead. this spiraled into a conversation about the postal rules of how long you have to wait to get on a stamp. at this point, i was ready to kill myself. the next lady needed 100 postcards that were already stamped. now, you would think these dumb fucks would have such shit already sorted out for the customer. i mean, 100 is a nice round number. no such luck for me. the clerk counted out 100 by hand. i really wish i was making this shit up. the next two ladies just needed stamps. thankfully, the lady in front of me smelled nice. i tried my best not to be a fucking creep and sniff loudly. of course, her kid comes in to give her the purse she left in the car. there goes that boner. finally, i got up to the clerk. i had a yellow card, which means there's a package in the back. i tell her my po box number and she asks for it again. this is as she is holding the card with the number of the po box on it. if anyone ever questions why i "joke" about murdering everyone in this town, you now know why. of course, that last line will have the cops watching my every move for a few weeks. they have nothing else to do. and sadly, that line isn't satire. the crime rate here is really low. which is good, as i rarely lock anything, especially my truck. please, someone steal that piece of shit.

i watched some of Game 7 last night. i was a little shocked Chicago blew a lead of 2 goals at home. that will eat them all summer. so, the Stanley Cup Final is set between New York and Los Angeles. i guess who handles the plane flights the best will win this series. it will certainly be a bitch if the series goes long, like every series the Kings are in. i love that my Rangers are the underdog. hopefully they can steal Game 1 on Wednesday.

the shows last night were excellent. Total Divas was really good. i love the behind the scenes shit at WrestleMania. Nurse Jackie was a weird one, much like detoxing is. Californication made me laugh, as always. Penny Dreadful was brilliant once again. such a great show. Silicon Valley was great. Veep set up the season finale pretty well last night. Last Week Tonight was great last night. i was a little amazed i got through them all without falling asleep.

tonight, the Yankees play Seattle at home to make up for a rain out earlier in the season. i'll watch a little of that. but, most of tonight will be Monday Night Raw. after that, i need to catch up on Louie. i'm hoping by typing it i will actually remember to do so.

it's been threatening to rain all damn day. i wish it would as my back is killing me. always fun when every part of your back feels like it is going to seize up on you in a flash. then, when the rain moves through, the back feels fine. damn you mother nature.

that's all for me. below you will see my musings on iTunes at 3 in the morning. good times...

be well. be creative. be open to the needs of a horny old poet...

peace and chicken grease...

music:

John Prine - It's a Big Old Goofy World
Pistol Annies - Hell On Heels
Grouplove - Let Me In
Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground
The Killers - When You Were Young