An insight into the world of films from a girl obsessed with jellyfish

Day 90 – Batman Forever

I’m awake! It’s a new day! What better to start the day off than watch yet another Batman movie? The other two haven’t been all that great…do we think this one will be any better?

Batman Forever. Basically another Batman film, but more about Robin, and involves Two-Face and The Riddler.

Where to begin…

This film is called Batman Forever, right? So…why is it mostly about Robin? And, more to the point, why is Robin such an angsty character? He’s such a damn emo! Okay, yeah, his family died. That’s sad. But does that really mean that we have to watch him whinge and whine and cock-up monumentally throughout the rest of the film? Not really. Oh, and all the ‘special’ moves he did? Not really that cool. Just an excuse to have pointless action scenes. Ugh. I hate Robin. My friend will be proud. Chris O’Donnell, I’ve never heard of you, but sorry. Robin blows.

So moving on to what should be the most interesting part of the film. Batman himself. Not Michael Keaton anymore. Praise the Lord! Instead, we have Val Kilmer. How did he fare, you ask? Well, he was better. Boring as crap. But better. He looked more like Bruce Wayne than Keaton, which was a vast improvement. And there was urgency! Batman ran! I was so happy at that moment. I finally felt that the film would be a little more fast paced. But no. Kilmer was just really boring and flat and blah. I get the feeling that Batman should be this way, but come on! You can put a bit more energy into a role. Jeez…

Love interest. Suppose we should tackle her now. I like Nicole Kidman. I do. She’s a good actress. But I hate this character. What is it with all Batman women and the appeal to be whores? Seriously. All women throw themselves at him, and I don’t get why. She did an okay job at playing this particular whore, but really? Batman really isn’t that special. He’s just another emo. So back off women. He’s emotionally unstable. Oh. And not a great kisser either. I’ve never seen such wooden and unenthusiastic kissing in my life! Not saying I’m a kissing expert, but you know. I’m just saying.

And now the villains.

Two-Face. I remember him vaguely from the cartoon, and obviously we saw the beginning of him in Dark Knight…or you know. We see something of him. So it was interesting to see this version of him, played by Tommy Lee Jones. I’ve never really been a massive fan of his, but he was pretty good in this. Very different to the Two-Face that I remembered. A lot more psychotic. This perhaps could be because of how good The Joker was in the other version Batman, and they’re trying to keep the standard. But it worked. It did. Batman villains are always so much more interesting than the heroes.

And talking about interesting characters, how can we forget Jim Carrey as The Riddler. Oh. My. Freaking. God. I think I have just found my new favourite Batman villain. I know a lot of people that aren’t keen on Carrey because of his over-the-top way of acting. But to those people I politely raise my middle finger. He makes the best Batman villain ever. He was scary and funny all wrapped up in one. In a different way to Nicholson though. We all know Carrey is the king of slapstick humour. I’m just really gutted that he wasn’t in the film more. He deserved so much more screen time! But no. We have to see crappy romance and teenage sob stories. That’s what everyone wants, see? Not, you know, awesomeness. Grumble…

This was yet another Tim Burton film. I suppose it was less like the previous one because again I kind of forgot he directed it. Maybe the criticism from the previous film made him change the style, but I liked the older version. I really did. The villains costumes were magical though. I kind of want a Riddler costume. Like…a lot. I really want one. And the couch. That was amazing. But the rest of the visuals were just like any other film. Not really what I want when I watch a Burton movie. Sigh. Oh well.

Okay, so big question. Was it better than the other two. I’m struggling to answer that question. I guess I’m going to go with my gut and say no. The reason is because of Robin. Cut him out and put in more of the Riddler, and then you will have a really good movie. Well…not really good. But better than the other two. But I will say that Kilmer was a much better Batman than Keaton, and The Riddler thrashed The Joker.

Okay, I’m hungry. Imma make me some food, then watch the last in the series. Best until last? Please God let it be so.

2 Responses

Actually, this one wasn’t directed by Tim Burton, it was Joel Schumacher. But he did his best to copy Burton’s style to help connect it to the first two. I seem to remember thinking Jim Carrey was a great choice for the Riddler, but I thought he played it a little too goofy, I don’t think I ever saw him as scary in it. Good luck with the last one, it’s definitely not the best.