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Birth Story – #lilBubbles

On 20 April 2006 something just didn’t feel right, i mean my period was never regular but to stay away for 2 months in a row was not right! So my sister and i went and got me a HPT. At 8pm i couldn’t wait any longer i needed to know if i was pregnant or not so i did the test – my heart sank when i saw those 2 lines appear immediately! My sister said she’ll give till the end of the month to tell my parents or to take care of it (abortion).

First i told my then fiancé and he told me to rather give him my banking details so he can give me money for the abortion – i could understand why he said that, being 15yrs older than me and he had 2 kids of his own – but still i said to him that he should keep him money, our baby & i will be ok without him!

On the 26th of April 2006, we went to go visit my grandfather in hospital (he was on his deathbed) whilst there my one aunt suggested we should go have coffee at her house afterwards. On the way to her house we (my sister, her then fiancé and i) were involved in a head on collision. This is where my sister told my parents that i’m pregnant – she didn’t have a choice!

Long story short, on the 29th of April (my sister’s wedding day) i went for my 1st scan, heard the heartbeat for the first time and the guy asked me how far along i thought i was so i said probably about 8 weeks and he laughed telling me that this was the biggest 8 week old he’s ever seen – turned out i was 19 weeks & 4 days pregnant & he said that there’s a 95% chance of baby being a girl. I was flabbergasted! Didn’t think i would be so far!

The rest of the pregnancy was eventless except at 33 weeks i had a bit of spotting and was hospitalised for one night. They gave me 2 injections that would mature her lungs just incase she decided to come during the night (they put me on the list for possible emergency C-Sections). Had a quiet night in the hospital, they kept monitoring us hourly. Next morning i went for a scan and she was still perfect and definitely not in a hurry to come out!

You know they always say sex works to bring on labour? Well i tried phone sex with a friend (FWB) on the 29th of September & that worked as well J! By this time i was almost 42 weeks along and had tried the spicy food, the long walks and we even moved house – none of these worked the magic!

So 30 September, 3 am i woke with hectic period pains… my one cousin kept telling me during my pregnancy that the moment you feel those get into the bath, if it subsides it’s not time yet, if it doesn’t – start timing them…

Well i got into the bath and they got worse and closer together! I just laid there and tried to relax for a bit… which really helped and i even took a snooze in the bath.

5 am i woke from one hectic contraction! It lasted for 2 minutes and the next one was 1.5 minutes later – kinda an indication that things are happening hey

So i got out of the bath (a mission and a half in between the contractions) went to wake my mom and we went thru to the hospital – all the way there (a 20 min drive) my mom kept asking me if i’m ok – Heck woman how can i be??? I’m sooo unprepared for this birth it’s not even funny!! Nothing you read in a book really prepares you for this experience!

By the time we got to the hospital i was 3cm dilated (6 am) so we made good progress! Mom & i kept walking around & outside (in the garden) the maternity ward.

The dr came to check on me at 10 am by then i was at 7cm so things were getting there, i raised the roof every time a contraction hit – no one told me it would hurt that much! I always figured it would be like in the movies – breath, breath, push, grunt and out comes baby! No problem – NOT! It’s freaking sore and a lot of work!

By 1pm i remember telling my mom that “Niki is going to fall out” as that was how it felt, nurses and the midwife rushed to my bed and they said that it shouldn’t be too long now as i was fully dilated! The midwife said that she would have to break my waters (as they hadn’t by then)

At 13:42 Nikita was born, the midwife gave her to me for a couple of minutes while they cut the cord. That was the last time i saw my little girl till about 5pm.

I kept asking them when can i see her as she was kept in the nursery and the nurses kept telling me the Paediatrician would come see me in a bit!

Eventually, the sister in charge of the Nursery came to me and told me that Nikita is sick! They suspect that she might have Mechonium Aspiration – a term i didn’t understand at that stage- and she took me to her… They were busy “bagging” (this is when they have to give oxygen through a mask by hand) her, they gave her to me (the last time i ever held her).

At 9pm they transferred her to another hospital’s NICU with the help of ER24.

1 October i was discharged, going straight to the other hospital to be with my daughter! Spent every day with her, only leaving when the dr’s came for their rounds. The 3rd of Oct i had to go for a check up and they found that the placenta broke and i had pieces still inside me, so i was admitted and (because i didn’t eat that whole day – don’t ask why) they could do the d& c that night still, and again i was discharged the next day.

Every day she got bigger and bigger from swelling and from the meds. My mom was with her on the 3rd and that was one of her worst days! They didn’t think that she would make it though the day!

On her 4th day the HOD NICU told us that they picked up a heart defect and that she would later need a heart transplant, but that for now they need to move her (again) to a different hospital cause they don’t have the equipment she needs to survive! None of the hospitals in the area had the equipment and they were considering sending her to Baragwanath – only problem was that Bara didn’t have space for her!

From day 7 you could see her loosing the fight, one by one her organs gave in – due to the lack of oxygen to the brain and the rest of the organs caused by the MA – Day 11. I decided to go home for a bath & a decent meal the evening… Before leaving the hospital i remember telling the one nurse that i don’t think she’ll make it through the night – how true my words were… 20:15 my mom’s phone rang and they told her that she just passed away, they were struggling with her for an hr when her heart gave in. (by this stage she had 13 machines hooked up to her – just to keep her alive)

We went through to the hospital and i stayed with her till she was cold. Let her father know that she had passed (the dumb idiot asked me if they couldn’t put the machines back on and revive her??? WTF??)

The next day we started funeral arrangements instead of starting a life with her!