Not a soul may ever take the time to read the meanderings of my mind, but here it is. god continues to do a miraculous work in my life, and lately as He has revealed Himself to me, I have this sense of needing to "write it down." So since I am much more likely to do that in this format than on paper, here we go. Praying that any eyes that fall on this page will somehow see through it to a glimpse of Him...Oh, and maybe we can giggle together every now and again. ;)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Could it be?

As many of you know, I have been feeling for quite some time that the Lord is likely building a new ministry for me. A speaking ministry. I know what some of you are thinking..."I thought He equipped the called, not called the equipped." Very funny...I know I speak - A LOT. But this is a very distinctive ministry...one of ministering to women beyond my own church. God has given me several 'messages' for lack of a better descriptor but as of yet, I've not delivered them...not 'out there' like at women's conferences, retreats or events, just in classes or studies I'm leading at our home church, and then just in partiality, not in completion. So as you can see by all of this rambling, I'm still in a bit of a quandry. The primary question is, "Where do I even get started?"

Last year, as I pondered this and have asked this question, I began to explore the possibility of attending the She Speaks Conference. But I knew I wouldn't be able to afford to go, so I put it out of my mind. I've continued to follow Proverbs 31 Ministries, and the other day, "OH MY GOODNESS!!" One of my favorite Proverbs 31 women, Lysa, offered this opportunity to attend this year's conference - FREE!! This conference would not only answer the question of where to start but also give clear direction on so many issues I've wondered about in terms of becoming a 'speaker' for a broader audience but a very specific, targeted audience. Most of you know that I spent a great deal of my professional career as a 'teacher' for adults - training and professional development, and, admittedly, God granted me success in that role, but I happen to believe that He used that growth in me as a speaker so that He could use it for His glory. The reason this conference is so important to me is that it is intended for that purpose as well - to equip women to use their gifts of speaking for His glory. So, honestly, I want desperately to be a part of that kind of conference.

So, now the question at hand is, "Could it be?" Could this be how my Lord provides for this ministry opportunity? Could it be that the time is now (or at least this summer!)? It has been my humble experience that He often lays a plan, plants the concept in His people's mind - specifically mine in this scenario - and then makes us wait. Anyone else ever experience something like this: "I know what He wants, but somehow it just isn't happening. Do I really know for sure? Maybe I got the message wrong. Oh, no. What if I've allowed myself this dream, but it isn't really His plan or His will? OH, NO! I missed it. I'm so living outside of His will!!" And then you experience an almost panic-like feeling. And you seek Him with all you have. And then He speaks - clearly, deep into your spirit. And again, you are left to the wondering, and the work that He places before you until it is His time to complete the new work. So, now the question at hand is, "Could it be?" We'll see in a few weeks if I am selected to attend free. And if not, then I'm going to be waiting to hear Him speak again. The best news of all - He will.

Oh Cindy, can I ever relate!! The second-guessing, the "did I miss it...did I miss Him?" ping-pong match in your brain. Goodness...it's one of the hardest parts of being entrusted with a vision. But there will be no sweeter tears you'll ever have roll down your cheeks than the ones you shed when you see His mighty hand do the thing He put in your heart. The timing is just one of those mysterious things that the Father reserves only for Himself...while we're drowning in doubt He's urging us to hold on, to trust... It's a hard, beautiful thing that rewards like few things ever will....seeing a promise, a dream fulfilled. I'm excited because even though I don't really know you, your vision resonates in my spirit and I want to encourage you to set worry and second guessing aside...God will accomplish in you those things He put in your heart to begin with.

Bless you Sister...I'm very much looking forward to the day when your faith becomes sight!

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

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About Me

I hail from a small north Texas town. I'm married to an amazing guy who is a youth minister. We have two beautiful daughters, 20 and 12. I facilitate many of our women's Bible studies at our church and love teaching women. I also am humbled and blessed to teach high school girls Sunday School class and lead our drama and creative movement praise team, For His Glory, made up of girls 6th-12th grade. I'm also involved in a women's study club. I am the special education director for eight rural school districts and have a passion for making a difference for students with disabilities.
I'm crazy about my Jesus who has changed me and my life dramatically. My favorite place in the world is at my Savior's feet.