Becky Writes: Dear Chely, I’m getting my boyfriend, Dan, a set of truck nuts for his Big Dodge truck. I think they look amazing. What color do you think I should go with, flesh or camo?

Dear Becky: I have a question for you. Is that what you want to be known for? Getting a boy a set of (I can hardly say it) truck nuts? I can hear it now: “Hey Dan, where’d you get those awesome camo trucksticles?” Oh, my sweet, adorable girlfriend Becky got them for me.” Listen, Becky. I’ve always thought that people who had those hanging from their big ol’ truck probably might be deficient elsewhere, if you know what I mean. But you probably already know if that is the case. Make him a nice meal for his birthday. You might try mountain oysters. I hear they’re in season.