Smash Bros. Brawl not working on some Wiis, Nintendo responds

While we're sure most of us would describe Wii fanatics as the most lighthearted of the console enthusiasts, we can only imagine that being forced to wait nearly two years for the most highly anticipated game on your console, only to come home from a midnight launch to discover you cannot extract the frenzied multiplayer mayhem stored on the disc you've purchased might incite one's dander to "get up". Alas, many a brawler-to-be recently found themselves in this lamentable situation, as Super Smash Bros. Brawl has reportedly had performance anxiety in a number of Wii consoles.

Nintendo has swiftly replied with a North American repair form, explaining that the double-layer disc can only be read by a squeaky-clean disc drive lens. They implore you not to try to clean said lens on your own, and to send in your crudely adhered Gamecubes to Nintendo HQ for a thorough purging. We're sure they'll get your newly spruced console back to you in a timely manner -- which will likely offer little consolation to a Nintyfan scorned.

[Thanks to all the unlucky souls who sent this in. Our thoughts are with you during these trying times.]