Pussycat Pop-Gun

JUSTICE BREYER: Can I ask you a related question, which will show what I’m trying — another thing that is worrying me. Suppose we are in the Armed Career Criminal Act.

Now, I have — this is my hypothetical. You have heard of cat burglars. Well, this gentleman is called the pussycat burglar and the reason is he never harmed a soul. He only carries soft pillows as weapons. If he sees a child, he gives them ice cream.

(Laughter.)

It is absolutely established that this person in breaking into that houseat night only wanted to steal a pop gun, and he is the least likely to cause harm in the world.

Question: He is convicted of burglary. Is that a crime of violence? Answer?

Just when you thought his hypotheticals couldn’t get any more outlandish and absurd… Will someone please put the poor bastard out of his misery and usher him into the post-Justice pasture of professorship where he belongs?