In the current state of baseball, where tiny little NSA cameras are tracking every player’s move and GMs do deals exclusively via business sexts, a player must make sure they are well represented in the online community. Anybody who is anybody has an out-of-date webpage promoting their charity, an Instagram account for posting dark and blurry pictures of steaks, and a Twitter page that shares bullshit phrases falsely attributed to famous people. This is imperative. A player’s to-do list for the day includes calisthenics, a sensible meal, and stepping up their social media game to the fullest. Can’t stop, won’t stop.

This is the case for Jonathan Singleton. His MLB career is one day old, but he already has a major league home run under his belt. That’s one home run wasted without a signature home run hashtag. His teammate George Springer has the almost coital #SpringerDinger moniker to denote his home runs. It is time to create another.

The Astros fans/writers I commiserate with on Twitter have some ideas, but since at least 12% of NotGraphs readers are creative, I figured it would be a good idea to ask the filthy masses. Do your best. Make daddy proud.

David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.