All the fish that's fit to wrap.

Memento mori – Remember you shall die

Memento mori – In ancient Rome, the phrase is said to have been used on the occasions when a Roman general was parading through the streets of Rome during the victory celebration known as a triumph. Standing behind the victorious general was a slave, and he had the task of reminding the general that, though he was up on the peak today, tomorrow was another day.

Now, of course, we are a modern society and slavery is no longer common in most parts of the world. Yes, there is still the nagging issue of credit card debt slavery, but, on the whole, there is no longer a supply of people willing to stand behind our leaders and remind them of their own mortality. There clearly is a crying need for this service, but I have no expectations that a Mortality Czar will be emerging from the current administration. Perhaps the closest thing that we have to slaves are now called interns; perhaps we’re on to something here.

In any case, never has there been a more compelling argument for being reminded of one’s own mortality than the recent events of the Governor of the great state of South Carolina, one Mr. Mark Sanford. What long and rumbling slide that this has been. Barely a day passes without new revelations of marital infidelity. This matter has been greatly discussed in other quarters, and there is little reason to discuss the specifics, since you probably know them anyway.

To be sure, there are those who are savoring this scandal like a fine glass of Romanée-Conti; they don’t even need to drink it to enjoy it, they are just taking in the aroma with deep heartfelt gratitude for another Republican scandal. At the same time, there are others, such as myself, that have tired of being mortified with Republican behavior; whatever moral and fiscal high ground that they once enjoyed has been squandered away.

The Sanford, ahem, affair does have the hallmarks of a certain school of Republican thought; that is, he has outsourced his extramarital affair. Presumably there are some efficiencies in there somewhere, but I don’t see how. His Argentine fling has been followed by an embarrassing series of revelations of other illicit activities, and I’m wondering how long it will be before Governor Sanford reveals that he has slept with Hillary Clinton.

The practical fact of the matter is, however, that our elected officials are flesh and blood mortals, subject to all seven of the Capital Vices of the mortal world. And, in many cases, it’s going to take more than a trip to Lourdes to fix things. In any case, the Presidents and Governors and Senators and Representatives all have the same proclivities as those who elect them, and it is unreasonable to expect more or less from them than the general population.

In looking back, it seems that a goodly number of our former Presidents were wanderers. Truman is an exception because of his general moral tenor. Carter only lusted in his heart, which may have actually been a harbinger of his presidency. Nixon probably didn’t wander, for reasons obvious to older readers of this piece; for the younger readers, trust me when I say that even a $400.00 haircut would not help our 37th President.

In point of fact, however, had Richard Nixon been of the roaming eye, there would have been plenty of women, and perhaps a few men, who would have been willing to service his needs outside of the bounds of marriage. It’s just one indicator of the problems that occur with the exercise of political power.

One recent president was a serial philanderer, and had a high-profile fling with an intern. At the core of it was the sexual harassment issue of powerful men exploiting vulnerable and impressionable women. Yet, the reaction to these flagrant indiscretions fell into two major categories. If you were a supporter of the President, then it was a case of “Oh, well, you know…..”, even though your public position on harassment matters was different. For another part of the political spectrum, there was justifiable outrage; of course, Mark Sanford’s activities have put the lie to that stuff. Your reaction to this sort of discovery depends upon your political inclinations and the public official who is being indiscreet. And through it all are the long suffering spouses.

In a former career, I met an individual who also was a serial philanderer. Extremely talented in several different areas, he seemed to be incapable of sticking with one paramour. He was bright, and in that way, had a well developed theory about sleeping around. His working theory was that you should be messing around with someone who is an equal. That is, if you are a 40-year old, married with two children, then the person whom you are seeing illicitly should also be a married 40-year old with two kids. This approach is based on a balance of power; each party to the illicit affair has as much to lose as the other. I leave the calculus of the various combinations of imbalanced relationships to you.

Assuming the normal bell-shaped curve of the general population, this means that if you are so inclined, there are plenty of other married 40-year olds with two children out there that provide ample opportunity. It is when you get out to the ends of the curve, the asymptotes, that things become more problematic for those inclined to cheat on their spouses. There are just so many Presidents of the United States, which probably serves to explain the choice of bimbos and interns for sexual partners outside of marriage by the elected.

Back in the larger portion of the bell-shaped curve, the truth is that most people don’t cheat on their spouses. It is the rarefied atmosphere of elected office that makes things difficult. Add to this the fact the Congressional travel spending has tripled since 2001; there are a lot of no-tell motels overseas, and the likelihood of running into a constituent is fairly low. Likewise, the unfortunate symbiotic relationship between the press and the government has not helped either.

Events such as Governor Sanford’s recent peccadilloes, make the Europeans look at us askance. I’ve already discussed the fact that we are fundamentally different from the Europeans (please see here). We are a nation of idealists; the extramarital affair is, at its heart, cynical. Marriage vows are the ultimate in verbal contracts, so much so that an extensive body of law has emerged to address the issues of such an agreement, but there is also the sense that a politician who cheats is showing a state of mind about other things. If they cheat on their spouses, what else are they cheating on?

Perhaps the greatest indication is, however, that high profile extramarital affairs simply point to how disparate the elected have become from those who elected them. If ever there was an argument for having someone stand behind elected officials and remind them of their mortality, this is it.