The lucky stroke crippled me and gave me a new life. Now I'm just unbelievably good looking and modest. Always turn a little to the left.

28 Jun 2013

New strategy for Kevin Rudd..will he use it!

Ben Pobjie: edited by S.W.T.Read strategey

A political party's prime purpose is to develop positive policies for the betterment of the country, well what the hell happened to us over the past three years.

The voters don't really seem to like it when you do that any more, so it's probably time for Labor to stop it.

The Australian people really want from their politicians to be aggressive and bitchy about everything, it really turns them on.

Voters want to feel that a political party is willing to rip shreds off its opposition, kick em while there down, smash em up and attack their families and acquaintances on their behalf.

In fact what they want is what the Coalition has been dishing up for the last three years.

Is it time, time for the Labor party to become as nasty as possible.

It should focus on Abbott, obviously: there's his ears, the weird way he walks, his ill-fitting suits, his inability to start a sentence without saying "ah", and anything else they can think of.

Clothes, yes what about his clothes there must be a good line or two there and his hair, yes his hair, well all these things worked when it was a woman, didn't it?

They should try to use as many hilarious catchphrases as possible: for example "the LIEberal party", "the leader of the STROPposition", "Christopher WHINE", "LNP must stand for Little Nerdy Pussies". That sort of thing.

Suggestions and rumours can also be useful:

Labor could spread a few rumours about what Julie Bishop puts in her hair to make it stay that way.

Feed doubt in voters' minds as to whether she with the venomous eyes is the sort of person to be deputy leader, think of the damage if she gave a visiting dignitary that look.

The most important thing is to keep it simple. People don't like governments that go on and on about "doing things". It confuses them.

Australians only want one thing and one thing only from its government and that is to hear about why the other guys are terrible.

It's up to Labor to get down in the mud like the Coalition.

Would we really want the government to lower themselves to the same level of malevolence, no I don't think so, all they have to do is sell their ideas for the future, and that's now up to Kevin.

That's the one thing they have not been able to do, maybe Kevin Rudd can do it. Julia just couldn't do it, they were just not listening.