Sunday, March 18, 2012

Last week, the Mr and I were lying in our ripple-blanketed bed, chatting, (except he was already asleep). We decided the best way to parent the third kid would be to largely ignore her. Of course we’d read her an occasional story and feed her but she’s dressed herself since forever and has taught herself how to leap tall buildings in a single bound, without any interference from Mum or Dad. The Mr and I also decided, (except he was already snoring), that one day we would apologise to the eight and ten year old, for not largely ignoring them.

To make up for all that past hovering, helicopter parenting, the next day we let all three kids drive the car:

1. Under Age Driver

2. Even More Under Age Driver

3. Ridiculously (Can-Only-Just-See-Over-The-Dashboard-When-Sitting-On-Dad’s-Knee) Under Age Driver

If you would like four more suggestions of dangerous activities you should let your children do, then click over to this fun TED talk. I am proud to say we have all five basically covered. I am also proud to confirm that no kid breached any driving speed limits.

In more sedate news, I’ve come over all craft floozy again. I can’t stick to any one thing and I haven’t even the foggiest what this pink knittery is even meant to become. The Small keeps asking when her ‘thingy’ will be finished. But the poor Small keeps being ignored.

I have managed to make a good start on this blue knittery which looks like a large, thick, ribbed sock. There are two holes for legs and it will remain open-ended, so sometime soon, before things get frosty, Jasper the Dog will have a possibly humiliating, thick, ribbed, sock-thing to keep him warm.

Between rows of dog ‘sock’, I’ve been surveying the ripple blanket scraps and opening a whole new can of blanket worms, which I am inevitably destined to regret.

I’ve been feeling very sorry for my eight year old boy-kid. When I last performed cooking duty with his class, apparently I danced. DANCED! Possibly at the same time as the muffin mixture was doing its Mixmaster mixing thing. I can only begin to imagine how embarrassing this was and have promised to limit all dancing to gardening and reading duty only.

To make up for such indignity, I have made a start on a quilt for him. He’s been asking for a while, since before he started growing up a bit more and needing to act a bit cooler. Before he started losing some of that breathtakingly-precious, carefree, kid-innocence.

I thought I’d better get cracking and stitch in a whole quilt load of love before he decides he doesn’t need it anymore.

43 comments:

Uh yeah. Child number two is perfectly ignored and turning out wonderfully. I will, of course, have to apologize to child number one.And really, there are worse things than being a craft floozy (like not crafting at all !gasp!), but you're right on the quilt for the eldest. Get cracking!

We let Possum start driving the ute when she was 3. She does pretty well all things considered.

Not sure on the pocket knife. I had one when I was a child but I remember dad took it off me when he caught me jumping up and down on the trampoline. I did eventually get it back and I still own it. Maybe I will stick to proper cutlery at meal times for awhile. Great video clip on TED. I reckon I will give some of the others a go.

That is a great TED video. I wish I had the time to watch more of them. Some are just so bloody inspiring. The tinkering school is, for me, every good Girl Guide and Scout unit. We break things a lot. The kids always look at me like I'm mad when i say, "have a crack, what's the worst that could happen". I love it when they're older and know how my leadering boundaries work and encourage the younger kids to light the fire, holding the match until it nearly burns their fingers. Kids today are frightened to light a match. How did that happen?

Is that all you did , dance ! Pfft girlie I am so going to have to give you some real lessons in embarassment . I did have a little tear when you said you need to stitch some love into the boys quilt , it will have love in every ,single stitch .

As a #7 kid, I can assure you that the smallest kid will flourish without any further attention from you and the Mr... and as a farm kid, I can tell you that a spot of underage driving is a lot of fun.

...and then I'll just get back to my neurotic-older-mother-of-a-single-child helicopter parenting.

Was only just banging on about the merits of ignoring in the upbringing of children. My third born is a little partial to the throw down, head bang tantie ... over which I step and carry on as if nothing is happening - he lifts his head after a while, looks around and then cruises on his way. Genius. Oh and please .. that ripple blanket. Salivate. That is just sooooooooo HOT!

I haven't looked at the TED talk yet so I can't comment on that, but.... the rest... Well, I think you are absolutely amazing Mrs. I know you don't want to hear it and are probably blushing or swirming... Your kids are so lucky. I don't believe for a minute that the little one is ignored (shameless fibber you). I do believe that we are all a lot more relaxed parents as we somehow accumulate more boarders in the home ;) I love that they drove. I love that you dance in cooking sessions. You are teaching them to be fearless while showing them limitations. You're so fabulous you don't even KNOW how fab you are, lady! Kx

p.s. Your craft flooze is fantastic and I love that you guys make these great decisions when the Mr's asleep ;)

Ha! I bought a beautiful brand new teal coat today. My 9 yr old told me I was totally embarrassing and I was not to wear it on the school trip tomorrow. So guess what I'm wearing? and i told him I was going to give him lots of big sloppy Mum kisses in front of his friends and tell them just how much I love my little baby bunny! That'll learn him!

I think you're not much alone with the helicoptering and then non-helicoptering. They all turn out one way or the other, don't they? Would love to let my kids drive, but I am terrified of what my #2 would attempt to do on his own if he had even a taste. He's THAT kid.

The boy quilt looks fab already, and even if he gets too cool for it, there will come a day when he's married off and he calls to ask for it back, no worries about that! (We have all of my husband's childhood quilts.)

My third is the loudest and most unruly, and I try very hard to ingnore her. I need to try harder!That pink yarn has caught my fancy....might have to try and recreate it at spinning.Off to see what ted is all about.p.s Your Mr is very talented!

Hi love, nice to see you! I've just remembered a time a few years ago when I saw three very small kids driving an old Holden in Brunswick St, Fitzroy. The driver looked about eight. It was a total omg moment. He probably drove betterer than some adults! Loving the boy quilt, he'll never be too old for that kind of loving. It's amazing how much they treasure these kind of pressies xo

Bring on the danger I say :: once they hit 16...make that 14...they seem to have no trouble in finding things to do that worry, frustrate and even sometimes..infuriate us to no end, so why not give them some training? Smart move I say! That's why we mindlessly craft...I see it as a mantra and it's a whole lot easier than some of those yoga poses I can't do xxx

You are such a delight to read! My Mr. and I have many similar talks in bed...but it's best that way because he ALWAYS agrees with everything I say when he's asleep! That way, I don't have to waste precious energy arguing with him! LOL I have one (now 23) that practically raised herself because she decided at TWO that she knew it all! We've stood by to pick up the pieces occasionally - when her omniscient-ness didn't work out for her...but she's learned a lot of valuable life lessons and she's closer to her parents than most children I know. It's amazing how setting them free a little brings them back to us! Craft floozy...ha ha ha...I resemble that remark! Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment! Hugs, Annette

First I was all 'Oo!... Loving the boy quilt fabrics.' And then I was all 'Love me some TED, I should go and see what this one is about.' And then I stopped and was all 'But you know what the best bit was? The family decision making process. I must get myself organised to have these big conversations when he is asleep.' Finally I am all like 'Bet your eight yo blue one turns out like my 10 yo blue one and, whatever I am creating, ALWAYS asks if he can have it.

We can tick off all of those five if you count the stanley knife in the 10yo's tool set as a pocket knife. I am the mother with pictures of the cherubic looking pink one at age 2 using a claw hammer to 'decreate' a wine rack as well as being the mother who would take the 3 yo blue one in to preschool and explain that he had cuts on the tips of his fingers bc he had been cutting beans for dinner the night before, thus pre-empting questions.

Tania,Oh my gosh, you seriously made me laugh right out loud when I was reading your post. I had four kids, and they all managed to survive. Now they are crazy enough to leave the grandkids with me from time to time, seriously? Well, they love me and we have fun! I'm a VERY young grandma anyhow. I tell them to call me Aunt Julie in public. Not really. Thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving the nice comment. Just wait till you see the rest of the room, it is so amazing and I am totally in love with it. You're gonna love it, I promise! It's amazing what you can do in a basement. So nice to meet you. I'm your newest follower!Julie

Ours is fiesty & wild & free. Absolutely the most street wise of the three. She will most likely make a few enemies but frankly I'm beyond it. She is going to be AOK that kid - in spite of me, not because of me.

I love this post! Especially coming from my completely ignored third child perspective. I think it kept me out of trouble, off drugs and on the straight and narrow really as I didn't see any point! Oh and the Floozy thing I'm right behind you on that! :) at the moment I'm knitting a 'mess' into a 'not mess' and calling it conceptual!

Fantastic! I remember driving on my Dad's lap.Number 3 in this house has largely been ignored and left to her own devices and she's turning out to be pretty awesome if you ask me! The other 2 get their fair share of being ignored too, it makes for more independent kids.They're pretty good at doing most things themselves, it means i get to sleep in later! ;)

My grandpa's father died when he was young and his mother never drove, so from about the age of 10 he would drive her from the farm to town once a week to do the shopping. They thought it was their well kept secret until the time finally came for Pa to get his licence, and the local policeman didn't even make him sit the test, just handed it over!Great post and lots to keep in mind for when ours come along. First one due in 5 weeks - eek!

Keep dancing, I say! My fantastic, embarassing mother died 2 years back, and some of my fondest memories of her are of the 'mortifying' moments. Kids are in a constant state of being brainwashed that they need to be 'cool' from about age 7. Don't let the zombies win!! ;-)

Also, I adored the photos of the kids driving. Must remember to do that soon myself.

LOVE that I've found your blog... it's like a Mother's Day gift to myself. I must dig out the photos from last summer of 9 yearr old DD driving the truck on a dry river bed. Bumpy and crazy fun! Not as crazy as when she did it at 5 on a narrow-ish bush road. Now I just have to pick a day to dance in class. :)

About Me

Mother of three, wife to one, designer and craftster of the slightly obsessive kind. Myrtle and Eunice were two lovely old ladies who connected weekly over the Scrabble tiles. These Saturday battles of will and skill were a ritual as comfy as a hot Milo and handknitted blanket on a frosty day.