Some Gifts Stand Apart From The Rest

December 28, 1986|By Jeff Kenerth of the Sentinel Staff

So the shirt was two sizes too big. The necktie was two shades too bright. The indoor birdbath leaked. The digital cypress clock didn't match the living room decor. And the Odor Eaters came with two left feet.

Many happy returns.

Standing in the gift exchange line is a good time to start thinking ahead to next year's Best and Worst Christmas Gift Contest sponsored by Alternatives, the Ellenwood, Ga., organization opposed to the commercialization of Christmas. This year, Alternatives received 200 entries in its best and worst gifts of 1985. Winners received a total of $1,400, which went to charities of their choice.

The worst gifts are the ones where you wish you could exchange the giver along with the gift. If only there was a return window for insensitive husbands, thoughtless wives and wrong-headed relations.

Maybe the relative who sent fancy socks to an infant born with deformed feet thought it was an appropriate gift, but the baby's mother didn't.

''If this kind of insensitivity comes from my own relatives, what will my little girl experience from the rest of the world?'' wrote the child's mother. Alternatives named the insensitivity socks the Worst Gift of 1985. The mother designated that the $500 prize go to a San Diego charity for handicapped children.

One Worst Gift runner-up award went to the Ohio man who gave his wife a bottle of perfume to which she was allergic. The perfume was the female counterpart to his own cologne, to which his wife was also allergic.

''The sneezes, coughing and allergy shots every two weeks had no effect on him,'' the woman wrote in nominating her husband's gift. She gave her $100 to an Ohio charity.

Another Worst Gift runner-up award belongs to the person who gave a Florida woman a floating chaise lounge for the swimming pool she doesn't have. One hundred dollars was donated in her name to a Florida charity.

A special Most Tasteless Gift Award went to the person who sent the book 100 Things To Do With a Dead Cat to a cat lover who worked as an animal rescue volunteer in Maryland.

The best gifts are the kind that can't be exchanged because they come from the heart.

Jean Carson of Hillsboro, Ohio, received Alternative's Best Gift of 1985. Carson is one of those women who more or less single-handedly hosts the family Christmas feast each year. Last year, Carson's son and daughter-in-law gave her ''Kitchen Aid'' -- forbidding her from setting foot inside the kitchen on Christmas. The son and his wife bought the food, prepared breakfast, lunch and dinner, and cleaned up afterward.

''Needless to say, I had the most enjoyable holiday ever,'' said Carson, who donated her $500 to an emergency assistance program.

One runner-up for Best Gift was a sampler made by the 19-year-old granddaughter of Anne B. Macosky of Hamden, Conn. The granddaughter hand- stitched figures representing each of Macosky's 12 grandchildren engaged in their favorite activities: diving, dancing, soccer and so on.

Macosky sent her $100 to CARE, an international relief group.

Another Best Gift runner-up was the present Anne M. Coyle received from her husband, who discovered an old movie of her parents' wedding and had it transferred to video tape complete with titles and background music.

''It was a gift beyond price and better than the finest store can provide,'' wrote Coyle, who donated her $100 to a home for troubled children in New York City.

There are no sales receipts, no refund windows, for gifts beyond price.