Sunday, 31 December 2017

Farcebook is once again pissing me off in great style, I reinstalled the messenger app to enable me to stay in touch with a few people, within minutes the phone was going berserk with waves, other stupid messages and loads of other crap. Then the pass this message on and keep the candle burning stuff started, 10 minutes later it was off the phone and Facebook was once again resigned to the desktop only.I really would like to dump it as these days it is generally an annoyance with all the fake news and so on.I'm going to try and see what I can do, I much prefer the Google + world, it's not perfect. I prefer Twitter and Instagram isn't too bad even though it's run by Facebook. I tried Snapchat for about 10 minutes, can't see what use it is other than putting stupid dog ears on your head.Wishing you all a Happy Year of the Justifiably Defensive Lobster and that's me pretty much done on Interwebs stuff till next year.

Saturday, 23 December 2017

Wanted to get Spotweb running on a local machine to do some newsgroup indexing, lots of instructions out there for Raspberry Pis and older versions of Ubuntu with php 5. I've decided to go and install it on a virtual server running Bionic Beaver, it was a lot easier than I expected.Start off with installing the OS and then updating it.sudo apt-get updatesudo apt-get upgrade -ysudo apt-get dist-upgrade -ysudo apt-get autoremove -ysudo shutdown -r nowThen install the required apps:sudo apt-get install mysql-server php-mysql php-curl php-gd php-cli nginx openssl php-fpm git zip mc php-mbstring php-xml -yChange a couple of files:

Friday, 22 December 2017

I'm already running an ownCloud server, I decided it was time to try and setup another one running Nextcloud. My ownCloud server is running on a shared hosting platform, I've decided to run up NextCloud on a virtual machine under Virtualbox, I'm not going to go into the setup of this bit here, just the configuration of the cloud server.

In the past, I've messed round with installing, SQL, Apache and so on, I thought I'd give the Ubuntu snap package a go.

I've run up Ubuntu 16.04 server, installed SSH onto it so I can manage it from command line and next it was time to install NextCloud.

sudo snap install nextcloud

That's it, it's done and installed, just a few more things to get it working and install lets encrypt, to finalise the whole install, ports 80 and 443 need to be accessible from the Interwebs, I temporarily put the server into the dmz.

Adjust the memory limits with:

sudo snap set nextcloud php.memory-limit=-1

Tell it which ports to listen to with:

sudo snap set nextcloud ports.http=80 ports.https=443

Restart Apache with:

systemctl restart snap.nextcloud.apache

Configure https and install lets encrypt with:

sudo nextcloud.enable-https lets-encrypt

Follow the instructions and you can then remove the port 80 access and connect to your server with:

Thursday, 2 November 2017

Holiday accommodation should be comfortable and if you're booked into a hotel with a twin or double room, that indicates there are two of you and two seats should really be available. But now we move onto the most important things, toilets and showers.

A toilet should have ample space around it for you to sit comfortably. there should be room for you to spread a bit for those difficult movements and in an ideal toilet there should be pieces of wood that you can use to bite on when the going gets tough.

I propose a toilet quality indicator called BMI, that Bottom Movement Indicator, the only way to get a 10 is to provide the pieces of wood. At the lower end of the scale we have portaloos and such like, to get a zero it would have to be quite bad and would mean you have to push yourself into am incredibly narrow gap and then have to dislocate an arm to be able to be able to reach around for the paper. I have encountered a toilet which went below this in Kenya, when I say toilet I mean a structure with a hole in the ground, the structure being moved whenever the hole filled up.

The other important thing with a toilet is the flush, several years back in Kefalonia we had a toilet which would have reached a BMO of 8 if the flush had been any better. When the handle was pressed a small whirlwind was created above the water level, unsecured objects in the room were dragged into this maelstrom and after about 20 minutes it died down. Nothing had moved in the toilet itself. At least twelvty flushes were required.

Now we move onto the Orkney scale for showers, to achieve a 10 the water pressure should pin you to the wall and cleanse you completely without the need for soap. A score of 0 started this off with a shower we had on holiday in Orkney. You turned the shower on and after an hour or so a few dribbles would emerge from the shower head at a temperature close to freezing. The shower was fixed and went up to an Orkney 1, the newly repaired shower vibrated furiously before discharging a luke warm driblle over you. The vibrations from the air were more likely to clean you that the water.

Just bear these things in mind when you go on holiday and all will be well.

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

I bought a Chromebook, there, I said it, at the same time we also got a Windows 10 version of the machine. Both Acer R11 machine, Chromebook has 2Gb of RAM, Windows one has 4Gb, both have 32GB solid state drives.Turned the Chromebook on, I could work on it within a minute, an hour later the Windows 10 machine was nearly ready to start installing updates.There are things missing from the Chromebook, I can't run Libre Office without paying a subscription and my spreadsheets although not complicated don't want to play with the Chrome office suite unless I do a lot of tinkering. That aside it's absolutely wonderful.I was reading an article about these little things the other day from Forbes magazine, it compared the three laptop operating systems available. No mention of Linux desktops at all, just Windows, Mac and Chrome. The writer praised the Chromebook but said it was very limited as it had no local storage and you can't install any applications, only "widgets that diddle with the operating system". I realised at this point the writer was a moron.I take my Chromebook away with me, I take my camera with me, I can put my SD card into my Chromebook and copy the pictures onto the local storage it hasn't got, I can then use an application that I can't install to back these pictures up to my cloud server.I can also install the Android play store application which give me access to loads of Android applications that I can install too.If you want a lightweight, fast booting machine with great battery life, just browse the Internet, do some banking and basic office stuff, the Chromebook is for you. It's always up to date, incredibly safe from malware and this one also doubles up as a tablet.

As an side, I put Linux Mint on the Windows version, that was up and running fully up to date with all apps and data in less time than it took the original Windows installation to boot up.

Monday, 5 June 2017

There is some good reality TV, Springwatch is a good example of intelligent TV showing wildlife at it's best and closest with some stunning photography. Unfortunately, we then we descend into the depths with the likes of Big Brother. The first series was different and entertainingg for about 3 seconds but how can you get excited about watching people, and I use the term people loosely, sleep.It's utter crap and a complete waster of energy and bandwidth, static noise is more entertaining so here's my plan. Advertise that you need contestants from every city in the world for a new series, collect all the people that want to be on it in a big room in every city, once they are inside seal all the doors and fill it full of concrete. You then use the rooms as a big concrete block to shore up the coastal defences and you have at a stroke improved the overall IQ of the planet, reduced the amount of food required to feed these people and made some houses vacant to ease the housing issue.Now we move onto Celebrity Love Island and similar, once more advertise for the contestants, take them to a remote volcanic island and leave them there with the only source of food being Ant and Dec. Now here's an idea called I Used To Be A Celebrity and I Want To Be Back On TV, get some has beens of the Timothy Mallet level, take them into the jungle and let the lions loose, nice and easy idea really.Then there's the cooking ones, some are interesting but there's far too many, let's have a series called Soylent Green Master Cooker. As you may know, Soylent Green is people, so the chefs have to cook meals using parts of the other contestants, the one who is still breathing at the end wins, if more than one is breathing, then the winner is the one with the most limbs intact. The prize is a trip to the jungle mentioned above.We also have the lack of talent stuff, X Factor where we find the contestant with the most damaged X chromosomes and irradiate them. Britain Thinks It's Got Talent is another one, applying for this garbage should automatically ban you from any record deals, a frontal lobotomy, sterilisation and regular trepanning.Finally and I leave this to the last, that complete and utter waste of dna that they call Jeremy Kyle, a waste of an ejaculation. Neanderthals that want to go on this show to prove that they really are the offspring of their aunty and the postman with three legs could become quite useful by converting them into compost, it would probably increase their IQ too.Yes it's harsh but so is life.

Saturday, 27 May 2017

I've done my best to listen to the stuff that's in the charts these day and let me tell you something, overall it's absolute rubbish, generally there's some talentless person featuring another talentless person, one shouts and the other warbles like a canary on speed in a helium filled mine.Most of the dross that's in the charts these daycs can be blamed on Sparky the Magic Piano, Cher, Deborah Harry Beyonce and Mariah Carey.Let's start with the wonderful Deborah Harry who gave the world one of the first hit tunes with a bit of rapping in it, I refer to the tune Rapture. This spurred people into making more records, I won't say tunes as there generally isn't one and went onto create the genre known as R.A.P. This stands for Rubbish Angry Poetry and the C at the start for Complete is of course silent. There's the odd exception to this such as Gangsta's Paradise featuring the stupidly named Coolio, which I believe is a make of a Welsh refrigeration unit. Most attempts at C-RAPping rhyme Rolls Royce with Voice somewhere in the lyrics or use the same word in the next line as it's far too hard for the scribbler (I can't say writer) to come up with another rhyming word, I use an extract from the Pussy Cat Dolls feat Busta Rhymes here.You're the very reason why I keep a pack ah the MagnumAn wit the wagon hit chu in the back of tha magnumYou may notice that there are some words in these two lines, I'm not really sure why someone would like to keep some Walls Ice Cream in the back of their Dodge, it won't take long to melt.The videos for this rubbish generally feature stupidly dressed people wearing absurd amounts of gold with baseball caps on the wrong way round moving around in way that suggest that they are getting insufficient air to their armpits. They generally have stupid names like Snoop Doggy Dog, I remember him as a puppy and then of course there are people like M & M, named after a sweet and a complete an utter waste of an ejaculation.We'll now move onto Sparky the Magic Piano, basically with sparky, his sounds were fed down a hosepipe into someones mouth, the mouth sang a tune and a sort of bit of music happened. This was expanded on by people like the Electric Light Orchestra and then Cher came out with Believe, which took her vocals and send them to some equipment which changed the pitch, this switch around made it possible to make a song and I use the word song loosely, in which a talentless tone deaf person appeared to be singing. But of course you know that a machine has changed the pitch of what they are trying to say, it may also help them breathe and lick windows. This was taken to a new height by someone called Bill.He.Is. That's not his name of course, his real name is Tosser.I.Am.Beyonce decided that as she can't hold a tune together she would wear as little as possible and shout, making people think she has some talent, this of course was taken up by other people such as Katy Perry and other annoyances.And lastly we have Mariah Carey, why use one note when twelvty can do. The queen of annoying warblers who completely wrecked Without You, so many other male and female artists have decided to copy her and warble like a demented budgie who has just overdosed on some alchohol soaked millet. There are still some good bands and artists out there that can actually sing and produce good music with having to add the word explicit to their track to encourage sales. I have just looked at the UK top 40 and to be fair, it's not easy to spot anyone in that list but there must be.I really do wish the world would go back to proper music where people were musicians, where they could sing and you could understand things, where the word ask is pronounced as ask and not aks.And so, I have a musical venture in mind, I want to get a group of musicians together who are now suffering from an ailment that comes from sitting on cold walls for too longs and having a diet too low in fibre. I'm basing the concept on a George Harrison idea, the name of the band will be...The Travelling DangleberriesSome of the tracks will be reworkings of the original bands hits such as.The Dangleberry Twist, referring to the movement carried out to help release.Handle With Care, referring to the delicate cleaning carried out following release.Inside Out, an accident that can happen due to too much pushing.Heading For The Light, the tale of the journey of a motion from it's beginning to it's emergence.Like A Ship, what happens when bran starts working.You Took My Breath Away, the happy outcome of a successful motion.And lastly a rework of the Pink Floyd classic, The Dogs of War, this track will be the title track of the new album.The Grapes of Wrath by the Travelling Dangleberries.See what happens when I've had too much wine.

Monday, 22 May 2017

I like going down the local wetlands to do some bird watching, there I've said it. My wife and I are amateur twitchers and joined up the Wildfowl and Wetland Trust at Martin Mere. We moved back to South Wales and of course the nearest place is the Llanelli Wetlands, it's a wonderful area with places you can take the kids to so they can see wildlife close up and some areas and hides for the dedicated bird watcher. And then there's the cafe area, it was really quite good, not that expensive but the food was good and the staff are very friendly, they even had a rack you could take your dirty dishes back to. And now they have modernised to bring it in line with Slimbridge.We went there on the weekend after the modernisation, I ordered the pizza as the description of it was good and my wife wanted a toasted sandwich. In the past, they made the sandwiches, now they are wrapped in a box which means there's more waste with the packaging. They didn't have what we wanted on display which wasn't too exotic so we ordered a baked potato instead and then sat down.In the past, the potato would have arrived on a plate, with some salad on the side, knives and forks would have come out of a tray and mayonnaise out of a sachet. You now get a potato in a bowl, on a triangular plate, coleslaw is in another container and the salad is in jar with a resealable lid, the knife and fork are now presented in a expensive looking bit of cardboard. The pizza arrived not on a plate, but on a plank of wood, not an easily washed plate but a bit of wood that soaks up any grease and as there was a pizza on it with cheese, it happily obliged with the soaking. This has all greatly increased the amount of washing that needs to be done and in my opinion the amount of waste produced.There is now more room and more seating space and this was sadly lacking before but the prices have gone up and the cafe was considerably quieter than we normally expect on a Sunday afternoon. The staff are still very happy and helpful and they now come round to empty the tables.It seems crazy that a place that is trying to encourage responsible behaviour towards wildlife has, in my opinion increased it's wastage, use of water and cleaning materials for no real reason.Come on WWT, stop being pretentious, your loyal visitors come there to see the wildlife, take pictures, have some good quality food in a nice environment and argue about who has the best and most expensive camera or lens, they don't want food on a plank of wood, they want it on a plate, like normal people do.

Monday, 15 May 2017

I've been watching some of the DC TV series, started with The Arrow, then Flash, then Legends of Tomorrow and Supergirl. Apart from the costumes it's hard to distinguish any of them from the other, the Arrow has an ex office IT person who can do anything with any computer, Supergirl has one of these too and he can make superhero suits, scanners to detect temporal particles and all sorts. And we have one in Flash too that can do similar things. But they are all very two dimensional and that's being kind, the reject characters ended up in Legends of Tomorrow and we all know what's at the top end of a leg. The quality of acting here goes from bad to utter crap and then there's the Time Master Rip Hunter, who has come from playing a time traveller accompanying a Time Lord in Doctor Who. Doctor Who is about a Time Lord that stole a time machine, guess what the Time Master stole in Legends of Tomorrow.I've kind of given up on Arrow, people die, then they get brought back to life by mysterious pools, people find their parents are really the bad guy, John Barrowman makes it bearable.Flash has alternate realities coming up where good guys are bad guys and vice versa and in Supergirl, everyone is either rich, an alien, a superhero, gay or evil. Even Jimmy Olsen the spotty youth from Superman is a tall well built bloke that is now called the Guardian and fights bad guys with a shield wearing a lead outfit, made by the guy that looked after the firewalls for a gossip magazine. I'm sure there's a similar Marvel character.And there's Martians in it too, the longest standing one is called John Jones and the newest one is called Megan Morse, these are not Martians, they are obviously Welsh, there's a new one coming up next week call Dai 3 Eyes.I going to finish watching the 4 episodes of the crossover and then probably give up, which moves us onto Supermarkets.The idea with a supermarket, is you put up aisles with shelves, as a customer, you walk up and down these aisles, put stuff into your trolley, pay and leave. The new Llansamlet Tesco store was obviously designed by the bastard son of an Ikea store planner on a bad day when he was suffering from inflamed piles. You go in, there are sideways aisles at the start, then front to back aisles at the back and then they put counters randomly in the middle of these aisles selling random things to block off the middle aisles that are at 90 degrees to the ones you are trying to find. I went round one of these counters about 14 times and went past the fresh bread so many times that it was out of date by the time I'd finished. I could see one product I wanted to buy, but no matter which direction I went in it always moved further away.Once you've managed to navigate the first section after about a week, the rest seems normal-ish. Then you get to the end, there's a big huge sign on the wall in twelvty foot high letters that says Quench Your Thirst, under it they have crisps.One part of the store appears to have created a Mobius band, I swear I saw people walking on the floor under me and then went round a corner and found the same people coming towards me.Shopping is not the best experience in the world, come on Tesco, have a think about store layouts and make it easier, every little helps.

Friday, 12 May 2017

I've wanted to make up a simple script that runs an update on my desktop and then either shuts down, reboots or continues depending on what parameters I add to the end.Something like;update rebootupdate shutdownor just update to install the updates and do nothing else.I managed this with good old DOS many years ago and started to look up how to do this with Linux, I have to say that the vast majority of instructions are based up using foo and bar and are not the easiest things in the world to understand, here's one of the easier examples: $ mytest foo bar quux There are 3 arguments to mytest: foo bar quux first argument: foo second argument: bar third argument: quux here they are again: foo bar quuxI really can't work out how that helps me but it gave me a starting point.So in plain language here's what I want to do, I've created a script with:sudo nano /bin/mtupdateThe main part of the script checks for updates and installs the updates:sudo apt-get updatesudo apt-get upgrade -ysudo apt-get dist-upgrade -ysudo apt-get autoremove -yIt then goes onto check what additional parameters have been passed and this is the bit that caused me heartache.So if I run mtupdate shutdown it does the above and then this bit# checking for shutdown parameterif [ "$1" = "shutdown" ]; thenecho "Shutting Down in 10 seconds"# gives you a chance to change your mindecho "Press CTRl+C to abort"sleep 10echo "Shutting Down"# shuts downshutdown -h nowelseif

Then it became harder as I wanted to check for a reboot parameter, to get it all in I had to do the following;# checks for reboot parameterif [ "$1" = "reboot" ]; thenecho "Rebooting in 10 seconds"echo "Press CTRl+C to abort"sleep 10echo "Rebooting"shutdown -r nowelse# checks for shut down parameterif [ "$1" = "shutdown" ]; thenecho "Shutting Down in 10 seconds"echo "Press CTRl+C to abort"sleep 10echo "Shutting Down"shutdown -h nowelse# no parametersclearecho .echo.echo "Updates Completed, please reboot as soon as you can"fi fiYou have to have a fi at the end for every if in the listThe end product looks like this:# mtupdate reboot or shutdownecho "Running Update"apt-get updateecho "Running Upgrade"apt-get upgrade -yecho "Running Dist Upgrade"apt-get dist-upgrade -yecho "Running Cleanup"apt-get autoremove -yapt-get install -fy# checking for reboot parameterif [ "$1" = "reboot" ]; thenecho "Rebooting in 10 seconds"echo "Press CTRl+C to abort"sleep 10echo "Rebooting"shutdown -r nowelse# checking for shutdown parameterif [ "$1" = "shutdown" ]; thenecho "Shutting Down in 10 seconds"echo "Press CTRl+C to abort"sleep 10echo "Shutting Down"shutdown -h nowelse# no parameters enteredclearecho .echo .echo "Updates Completed, please reboot as soon as you can"fi fi

To finish it off I ran

sudo chmod +x /bin/mtupdate

To make it executable

My suggestion to the people that write help stuff is to use a proper example, don't use foo bar quux as this means bugger all to people like me.

My next bit of scripting is going to revolve around taking two parameters and running something based on them, such as

Wednesday, 10 May 2017

The might Chevy went in for a major service today to those lovely people at Trostre Tyres. Apart from the service there were a few other concerns regarding a rattling noise and a noise the car makes on full lock. I dropped the car off at 09.00 and walked down to the local wetlands to waste a few hours. I was told I would get a call shortly advising me of any issues. I walked around and managed to get quite a few pictures in the bag but no call from the garage. It was now about 13.00 and I though I'd better give them a call to see how they were doing, the line was engaged, 5 minutes later it was still engaged. Let's try calling another number I thought, I dialled home, that was engaged, I dialled Virgin Mobile help that was engaged. Bugger, I thought, something's up with the network, I sent a txt off to my wife which she answered and she contacted Trostre Tyres. Apparently, they had been trying to get in touch with me to discuss an issue they had found on the car. By this time I had walked just over 4 miles and had about a 50 minute walk back to the garage. On the way there, the inner geek in me took over, I installed Skype as data was working fine, had to credit them with £10.00 and managed to call the garage up.Turns out that the service was completed, but a rear cylinder was starting to leak and needed changing. I asked how much this was going to cost, they gave me a figure, I swore. I asked how much including the servicing costs and they said that was the price they had just given me. I unswore if that's a thing you can do.I found this company a few years back through an advert for tyres, I would not go anywhere else to get work done. They are really good, not over the top in price and more importantly I trust them.The service is all done on the mighty Chevy, it's good for another 10,000 miles and is going back to get the cylinder changed tomorrow. The worrying rattling was a lose heat shield on the exhaust and the power steering noise was air in the system.Many thanks to the people at Troste Tyres for taking care of the Chevy again, I managed to do just under 6.5 miles walking and my feet and legs aren't that bad.Here's a map of the walk and a link to download for Google Earth.

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

April the 24th came and suddenly I was 58 years old, I don't feel it most of the time. I do have some aches and pains and a bit of water retention in my lower legs but hopefully that should be on the mend. Life, generally isn't bad at the moment and after quite a few crap years everything seems to be coming into place. When I say crap years, a lot of good stuff happened, but things could have been better. But looking at the whole picture, I've had 58 years when to be honest, I've done and accomplished very little. Looking ahead I hope I can remain fairly healthy and getting to 70 would be nice, but that's only 12 years away. That's 12 summers to cram all sorts of things into, it's not much time. They say life is wasted on the young, it's wrong. It's just that in general, the young waste life as they think it goes on forever.So this year things need to start happening again and they already have, I've made it to Caldey Island, it's only just off the coast and there's been no reason why I couldn't have gone there before except that it was one of those places I was going to when I had some spare time.In June, we'll be in Barcelona looking at a cathedral, the main reason for going is a track from an Alan Parsons project album, but it's a good enough reason. October will see us in Corfu for about 11 days, we'll be celebrating our wedding anniversary out there. July will see us planning the Camino with some other members of the family, totally different type of holiday but it will be an experience and you need loads of those.We've got a bucket list, trouble is we need a bigger bucket.So here's a tip for all you out there that are reading the ramblings of this old bugger, life is for living and as a certain Andrew Latimer said. "Never give a day away, always live, for today.So get out there and stop existing, take part in life, lift your head up out of your phone and look around you, there's a load of world to experience and you don't have much time.

Friday, 21 April 2017

When I started out with a camera many years ago I loved camera magazines, ideas for different types of shots, tips on processing the negatives and so on. I used to buy several different magazines, Amateur photographer was my favourite.

These days, I'm finding hard to justify buying the magazine let alone taking out a subscription to any. Most of the magazines are dominated by Nikon/Canon, I use a Sony A55 and have no intention of jumping to another brand, thankfully Amateur Photographer does have articles about other brands. But the main bugbear is that the majority of articles then go on to tell you how to process the pictures in Lightroom and Photoshop. This to me is a complete waste of time and puts me off buying the magazine. I understand that magazines have to play to the masses but there are a growing number of people like me that don't use a Mac or a Windows based machine.

I've been running Linux since the late 90s, I generally move the RAW pictures onto my desktop, check them all with an application called Geeqie and then process the RAW images using Darktable. The final JPEG images are then catalogued with Shotwell and uploaded to Google+ should I want to. The total cost of this software is nothing, you can donate money to the developers if you want and you should.

Darktable is a really good piece of software, it's available for Linux and Mac but not Windows, has all the tools you need and you can even import GPS files from your mobile phone it will match the timestamp with your images so you can tag the location.

I'm no expert in Darktable but it would be nice to have a small section of a magazine dedicated to applications such as this.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

OK, I'm getting on a bit but I still leap out of bed in the morning and then spend half an hour waiting for the muscle spasms to go away, I see people in shops and see older people and think I must have been in school with your son/daughter and then realise I was actually in school with them and so the other night, I was watching Grand Tour in which Jeremy Clarkson was talking about the signs of getting old. His main suggestion was that if you stopped trying to race a train that was driving by the side of the road it was time to give up. While this is a sign of impending temporal termination there are many more other serious indications, I 'll go through these below.Not trying to race a helicopter.When in a car by yourself, not asking permission from the space station controller to dock while parking at the local supermarket.Walking round the supermarket and not pretending that the trolley handle is a twist grip and you are in fact in control of a motorbike, boat, tank and so on.When you enter a shop that has an inside and outside door, you don't pretend it's an airlock anymore.Not speaking the phrase "activate station keeping thrusters Mr Sulu" when applying the handbrake at traffic lights.You pick up a fountain and you don't take the top off and say "Open Channel D".Not putting full beam on when it snows and pretending to go into warp drive.Looking in a clothes shop window and thinking, that's a nice cardigan.Buying the cardigan.Buying corduroy trousers to go with the cardigan.We now go onto the more serious signs.....While walking round a store, you whistle some random tune at random intervals.Sitting down with your car keys in your hand, rattling the keys continuously in time with some unheard and random beat.Doing the same with change in your pocket.And now the final sign of that your life as a man has come to an end, once you reach this stage give up. Send yourself off Dignitas as you're not going to last much longer.You open the Littlewoods / Grattan catalogue and the first thing you do is turn to look at the watches instead of the ladies lingerie pages. Once your here, look out around for the man with the scythe, it's time to go.