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A VIEW OF FEMINISM: PLUMCOT

PLUMCOTS

It is parentageThat engraves my names on the pillarIt was not the amount of caloriesNor was it the number of ribsLike Eve in the gardenIf the fruit had the supposed knowledge Then who knew firstsLike Adam, if his rib was takenThen where was the ribI felt I had more caloriesBecause I am more bitter and sourI became also so sweet My muse were all speaking at onceThe beautiful ancient speaks If two can tangle, HE is thereHE brings me to foreWhen they join

Written by:

MORDI IFEANYI APEX

Writer/Educator/Tutor

University of Benin

Department of English

STRUCTURAL REVIEW

Plumcot is practically a piece that tends to appreciate and renovate the vehicles of feminism.

Feminism is as old as man. In fact, it tends to be biblical knowledge that GOD of the bible created women with the man’s rib. Therefore, the woman share common features with man and she is mentioned as “help mate” not servant or housemaid. The same bible extract from it by submitting that the gathering of two brings another company. It might be a man or a woman or two men or two women. This biblical traces tends to be a natural wave of feminism. The “man made” or may be “woman made” feminism had its route traced to 1880. But for the reason of analysis and the poem involved, the poet gives an understanding on the purpose of feminism.

Foremost, the plumcots are a certain delicacy which are also hybrids. The poet uses plumcots as a result of parentage to identify feminism which depends on other ideas in order to be independent.

As line 1 and 2 states:

It is parentage That engraves my names on the pillar

Here, the poet tries to expatiate on the fact that feminism need not advocate for independency alone as every achievement is hinged on support or two ideas leaving on each other. The feminist who hates men will get to know that two (male and female) can only give another life. The plum and apricots are two fruits which are fruits of a hybrid called plumcots. The plum and apricots need each other to produce the best. The bible records the two ideas anything male or female as being productive.

The poet identifies himself again as the plumcot as he feels the impact on the society from some feminist. The poet wants to advise that feminist is never standing alone. Feminism should not be confusing as it may not mean hatred for anything in the quest for equality.

From line 5-7:

Like Eve in the garden

If the fruit had the supposed knowledge

Then who knew firsts

Here, the poet make reference to the bible saying that the women knew first about the knowledge. So these knowledge has made them agitate for equality with men. Here quoting that “ without them the men could not have the knowledge” .

Going further in to the poem.

From Line 8-9:

Like Adam, if his rib was takenThen where was the rib

Now the argument for knowledge can’t supersede the source in which women came from according to the biblical views. Therefore, if feminist fighting for equality especially with the opposite sex it still boils than to the fact that the woman was taken from the man according to biblical view. This means that a feminist has a degree of equality with the opposite sex. In the poet view the “taken rib” was a WOMAN.

The poet speaks in line 10-13:

I felt I had more calories

Because I am more bitter and sour

I became also so sweet

My muse were all speaking at once

The poet attest to the fact that more calories in the plumcots was as a result of cross-breeding two fruits and in comparison with what gave birth to the feminist.

The expression “Because I am more bitter and sour”means that the poet is confused about the state of how the feminist deviate from the purpose in which feminism is defined.

Going further in the poem, another line in the poem says: I became also so sweet.

Here the poet try to define SWEET as a total support of FEMINISM since they still stand that logo for equality.

In summary, the expression in lines 10-13 advocate for a better definition of feminism. The word FEMINISM might be gendersensitive which might not have the strength to fight total equality.

In the last 4 lines(line 14-17):

The beautiful ancient speaks

If two can tangle, HE is there

HE brings me to fore

When they join

The poet in the last 4 lines yells for feminism as a peaceful movement which understands natural law. The poet is not against the feminist but wants the feminist to clearly define its purpose with aspirations to unite. It should be communal.

Published by PATRICK STORIES

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133 comments

I was raised by a strong woman. I have never had occasion to doubt that woman and man are equals, helpmates-not servants and masters. The word “obey” in the Old Testament is misconstrued. It is the marriage bond that must be obeyed, by BOTH husband and wife- because it is the marriage bond that is the foundation of family, and therefore of society.

Fantastic and amazing advice about marriage (It is the marriage bond that must be obeyed, by BOTH husband and wife- because it is the marriage bond that is the foundation of family, and therefore of society. )

Just short and straight forward.

Love that sentence – I was raised by a strong woman. STRONG means alot in our today world.

I am a feminist. I draw from my university education in Sociology. Conflict theory suggests patriarchal systems are what keep women oppressed. Patriarchy gives men all the advantages, but it is also what puts pressure on men to always be strong, to be a provider, to show no perceived weakness, and puts them at a disadvantage with child custody because men aren’t “traditionally” viewed as care-takers or nurturers. Women have been assigned those roles since…forever lol Gender equality is the objective. Not there yet although women have made great gains. (Thanks to all the women before is the fought for our rights!)

Thank you so much for reading my post and for leaving such an honest opinion about the patriarchy system in our world today.

Patriarchy is for Men while Feminism is for Women.

Feminism has a purpose and this purpose have made the movement agitating for certain rights in the society. For instance, feminist battles for the following

1. Labor rights for women;

2.Gender equality;

3. Decrease of violence against women;

4. Equal employment opportunities;

5. Equal rights of owning properties;

6.Changes in the patriarchal society.

In fact, feminism mainly fought against the stereotypical ideals of the patriarchal society. Patriarchy was (is) a system of power that divided societies on the basis of “traditional” gender roles.

The patriarchal model is still that “old mentality” that male should dominant.

Patriarchy system exited in Arab countries For instance, in Saudi Arabia women cannot drive cars and cannot travel outside the country without the permission (or the presence, in most cases) of a “male guardian” – a male member of their family.

Not too long middle of last year(JUNE) female started driving cars and they were issued license to drive.

After all this, the patriarchy has eaten deep in the society that even women feel male should dominant which even me Patrick personally feel is not the right choice.

Equality should be in all area of life

I really appreciate and respect your opinion, no matter you agree with me or not.Because your opinion is always valuable to me.

Thank you so much for stopping by and for reading my post.

Thanks Ms Jennifer Smith

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

Here she says:

“”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
whether married or not.

Halo, Patrick.. Am really impressed.. The way you narrated what actual ‘feminism’ is, is just great. U rightly said that feminist need not actually be a hater of men… That’s actually true. I agree. And, to your questions, i was raised as a bold woman bt my parents, to stand independly. They gave every right to take my decision on life. My view on being feminist is to support for women cause..that didn’t mean I don’t want to support men too. Anyways… A very nice work. Congrats

Thank you so much for reading my post and for leaving such an honest comment.

Am glad you like it very well. Am just a simple blogger trying to reach out to women in generally.

I love this part where you said :

“”” i was raised as a bold woman bt my parents, to stand independly. They gave every right to take my decision on life. “””’

Reading your comment make me remember one of my greatest post about feminism which I formed this year.

Gender equality

I was brought up by a mother who inculcated in me a deep respect for women. I believe that the inequality that women have faced through the centuries and today as well is a failure of all societies, and especially the mindset of male patriarchy. I cannot call myself anything other than a person who believes strongly in justice and gender-rights for women everywhere. It would be arrogant of me to call myself a feminist, though I believe strongly in the cause of the emancipation of women in all societies that repress women and pursue the same practices of male domination.

Gender equality is actually common to both men and women. Gender equality doesn’t mean it must be related to women. So as a whole, equality is more important be it whatever gender. But the concept of feminism agitating gender equality is totally wrong. I agree that even now, women are facing issues. There is a overall view ew that male community is dominating female. That may be true to some extent. But as a whole, I won’t encourage feminists, even though, me being a women. Both gender deserves to be treated equal..not only women

Thank you so much for reading my post and for leaving such an honest answer to the question put before you.

Oh am touch by this reply on gender equality. This blew me away. Thank you for taking the time to share these write up through these words.

These words are painted in truth, experience and perspective. I especially love how you started it (Gender equality is actually common to both men and women)

and how you ended the write up ( Both gender deserves to be treated equal..not only women )

Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed . Each word you used are true and reflective of my personal encounter with people based on equality of gender.

This produced a smile on my tired face after a long day. You’re appreciated.

Reading you answers, am touched by the first and the last sentence.

1.Gender equality is actually common to both men and women.

2. Both gender deserves to be treated equal..not only women.

I totally agree with you own view about it. Gender equality is been interpreted in a different views from both sexes.

After much reading and I analysis of your own view about gender equality.

Am happy am able to drop my own personal view about GENDER EQUALITY using prove from A well renowned novelist and a feminist.

According to an interview about GENDER EQUALITY that was published on one of the Nigeria most popular newspapers – THE GUARDIAN

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi says:

————— When you say equal, I think it’s important for you to understand that when people say men and women are equal, people are not saying men and women are the same, because, obviously, we are not.

If we were the same, then we wouldn’t even have the problem we have. Because the reason that women have been oppressed and suppressed and subjugated is because they are different from men. And when I say ‘different’, I mean biologically different. Obviously, you talked about vaginas and penises.

When we say men and women are equal, we say that men and women, have… should have – because they still don’t – equal opportunities in all spheres of life. That you should not, because somebody is a woman, say that she cannot do something, or that she cannot be something. That’s what we mean by equality.

I will use this quote as a support to her own view about gender equality.

Quote from my kenyan blogger friend who support feminism.

———I hate being subjected to particular assault or being grouped as “women and children” while there are lots of things that show that I have quality features to make a valuable as a strong individual, not being grouped as weak because I’m female. Maybe physically, intellectually, etc. ———–

I actually don’t understand one thing..why everyone is keep on saying that, I don’t like being a seeker section, dont dominate women, etc etc.. See, there are a lot of parents bringing up their girl child to be bold enough to face the world. Many parents are proud on thinking about their girl child. I don’t say that, women are given respect the same way as men. There are differences.. I agree that, but…to the minimal level only.. Only in some parts of the society, some fmilies have the system of degrading women. Yet that is talked as a big issue because, only the issue is given importance and not the solution. No one appreciate the family that gives freedom to their children.. They are not known to the world. Only the negative spreads faster.

Its not about about how individual families raise their children. It is systematic. It’s about the law makers. It’s about the people at the highest echelons of society that are making decisions about healthcare, education, infrastructure, wealth distribution, opportunities, media content, taxes, accessibility to services, social programs, and funding. For eons men have held all these positions and power. They have set up the very systems we subscribe to and incorporate into our lives every day. Individual families do make a difference that I will agree with. That is not the root of the issue. Change has to come from the top. This is usually spurred on by everyday people that vote in the law makers to reflect overall Consensus

Thanks for sharing more light on the post. You contribution is well noted.

Reading your powerful reply you gave to Mrs Nitharsh.
I was able to bring out a particular point base on LAWMAKERS.

I still agree to you saying this male dominance over female is as a result of LAW MAKER

There is a qoute that normally says “” charity begin at home”””

Check the word HOME , its made of families of different type, different ideology and different belief.

The basic problem will be solved at the root first before getting to the top(It’s about the law makers. It’s about the people at the highest echelons of society that are making decisions about healthcare, education, infrastructure, wealth distribution, opportunities, media content, taxes, accessibility to services, social programs, and funding. )

Law maker are not the reason why female are been subjected as a low species.

Solving the problem involves going back to root which is the home of this families.

The society at large have no say in the upbringing of a child.

The families make at least 60% contributions to the upbringing of the girl child.

So I don’t really buy the idea that is the law makers who made all this male dominance over female in the society.

The law maker are just 40% out of 100%.

Going further I picked another thing again which I don’t personally agree with again. Here is what you said

“””” For eons men have held all these positions and power. They have set up the very
systems we subscribe to and incorporate into our lives every day. “”””””””

That statement will not be possible if the parents train them well on how men and women should have equal right.

If the person in power was trained from home about equality with female in all round.
When he gets in to power he will make sure all his subordinate in power agree to his own view about equality with women.

Those 7 lists will not occur if the root has a foundation that men and women should share equal right in all manner.

Lastly toward the end of your reply to Mrs Nitharsh. I saw another heavy point as I quote:

“””” Individual families do make a difference that I will agree with. That is not the root of the issue. Change has to come from the top. “””””

Individual families make a big different in the upbringing also.

Individual families is the root of the issues why male dominate in all areas.

Me personally, changes start from the grassroot which is INDIVIDUAL FAMILIES.

Don’t get angry over me, if my own knowledge about it does not agree with you.

We are have our own ideal about a particular thing.

Thanks again ms Jennifer Smith

You are welcome to

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

Here she says:

“”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
whether married or not.

Your first suggestion for raising girls is to teach them to “be a full person” — that work and motherhood are not mutually exclusive. What do you mean by that?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie answers:

The way that we socialize girls — and I think this is true for almost every culture in the world — is that we teach them that because you’re the woman or the girl, you’re the person who has to sacrifice, you’re the person who has to compromise. I’ve seen so many women who have reduced themselves, or allowed themselves to be reduced, by this idea of self-sacrifice. Women are taught that the way to love is by giving up themselves. Men are not taught that.

I find that motherhood [further] complicates things, and there’s a lot of guilt involved. I think women feel, “I shouldn’t really think of myself, or think of being other things apart from being a mother.” I’ve often seen that kind of sadness, especially in older women — and it makes me very sad, because I think about all the things they could have been, all the things they could have done. And they could have done all of those things and still have been wonderful mothers.

Lauren Alix Brown: So in terms of teaching people how to be feminists, has raising a girl changed or challenged any of your suggestions for how to raise a feminist?

CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE : It hasn’t challenged anything, it’s just that it’s made me realize how difficult it is. Because I think I felt that. I’m only just realizing that sometimes it feels like the universe is conspiring against me. Because I am trying to push against ideas and norms that are so ingrained that they can start to feel invisible. And it’s little things.

I’m just amazed at how everything is gendered—diapers. I mean baby bodies are the same. But now there are diapers where there’s the girl picture. Some months ago we wanted to get the overnight diapers for Baby because she was starting to wake up quite wet. So we wanted to get the diapers marketed as overnight because they absorb more and there’s girls and boys. I remember saying to my husband, who’s a physician, I said, “Do you think maybe the boys’ has a little thing to hold the penis? I mean, why are they different? He had a good laugh and he’s like, “It’s just marketing.”

I remember thinking, there has to be a reason for this because it made no sense to me. But there’s no reason for it. Also, I’m just realizing how early the sexualization of girls starts. Four-year-old girls’ dresses. I find many of them disturbing. It’s sort of like four year olds’ now have to be mini women. I’m noticing these things a lot more just because of my child. And children’s books and cartoons. It does sometimes feel that there’s a conspiracy of the universe. But at the same time, I’m utterly undeterred.

It requires pushing back, but I’m going to push back. I want to equip her with the tools. I’m hoping that she grows up to be the girl who sort of mocks these things—who gets it and who mocks them. That’s my hope, that would be ideal for me.

I get why you angry and agitating that WOMEN should have the same right as MEN.

We live in a world where WOMEN are not allowed some certain things because they are WOMEN.

Reading further in to your reply/comment section. Am touched by the words you used

“””’ Only in some parts of the society, some families have the system of degrading women. Yet that is talked as a big issue because, only the issue is given importance and not the solution “””””””

Based on my knowledge I have gotten so far about FEMINISM.

I have to backup your plights about how women are subjected too low in the society using some prove from our own Nigeria Feminist.

According to a popular literature book “””. We should all be feminist “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

————Men and women are different. We have different hormones and different sexual organs
and different biological abilities—women can have babies, men cannot. Men have more
testosterone and are, in general, physically stronger than women. There are slightly
more women than men in the world—52 percent of the world’s population is female—
but most of the positions of power and prestige are occupied by men.

The late Kenyan
Nobel peace laureate Wangari Maathai put it simply and well when she said, the higher you go, the fewer women there are.

A man and a
woman are doing the same job, with the same qualifications, and the man is paid more
because he is a man.So in a literal way, men rule the world. This made sense a thousand years ago.
Because human beings lived then in a world in which physical strength was the most
important attribute for survival; the physically stronger person was more likely to lead.

And men in general are physically stronger. (There are of course many exceptions.)

Today, we live in a vastly different world. The person more qualified to lead is not the
physically stronger person. It is the more intelligent, the more knowledgeable, the more
creative, more innovative. And there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as
likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative, creative. We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much.

————

This idea of women being subjected too low make me feel bad.

With some proves above , i guess I have answered some troubled thoughts in your mind now.

Nithatsh- great points! Common misconception is that feminists hate men. (I’m sure there are groups that fit that criteria) but by and large we are just looking for equality. I focus on our own areas of discrimination but I am supportive of men’s issues as well. Patriarchal systems disadvantage women the most but also hurts men as well.

Feminist are not misandry (boys/men haters). The fight for equality and gender equality.

Thanks for bringing up this matter about EQUALITY.

I strongly believe in equal rights and opportunity for all, regardless of gender (or skin colour, ethnicity etc). I believe everyone should be respected as a unique individual and not judged on the basis of being a woman or man, black or white etc.

Patriarchy system is what pop out the feminism movement thereby fighting for equality.

Its out easy to curb patriarchy nature in our society except we go back to the root(individual families).

Thanks for the wonderful comment.
I appreciate your time Ms Jennifer Smith.

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

Here she says:

“”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
whether married or not.

Feminist are not misandry (boys/men haters). The fight for equality and gender equality.

Thanks for bringing up this matter about EQUALITY.

I strongly believe in equal rights and opportunity for all, regardless of gender (or skin colour, ethnicity etc). I believe everyone should be respected as a unique individual and not judged on the basis of being a woman or man, black or white etc.

Patriarchy system is what pop out the feminism movement thereby fighting for equality.

Its out easy to curb patriarchy nature in our society except we go back to the root(individual families).

Thanks for the wonderful comment.
I appreciate your time Ms Jennifer Smith.

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

Here she says:

“”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
whether married or not.

Men hold most of the wealth, power, and political representation the world over. They are paid more still for doing same job as women in many instances. Honestly, there are very few areas that men are at a disadvantage over women. Women need to be raised up a lot just to be on even footing with men. It’s ok for men to age and get grey hair. Women feel pressured by society to look a certain way. We are body-shamed. We are victim-blamed if we dress “provocatively” and are assaulted. Men having option of bailing if woman gets pregnant. The list goes on and on. I don’t have time to write all the areas women are at a disadvantage. That being said, men being victims of their own patriarchal systems is why they are pressured to be in control, show no weakness, and are disadvantaged in child custody cases. Also, men have higher rate of suicide and boys are more apt to conceal any kind of abuse being suffered. Those are key areas that I vocalize my support for men’s issues. There is a correlation. It’s patriarchy. It hurts both genders.

Thanks for your time you used in commenting on my post. Thanks for the comment also. Thanks for taking your time to read and say your own contributions about the post.

You contributions are well noted.

A brilliantly written and moving comment based on the post.

I just skimmed through your comment and the words and analysis look good

After much reading for like 3 times I pick out 3 things which make women to suffer.

I quote from you:

Men hold most of the
1. wealth
2. power
3. political representation the world over.

This is as a result of patriarchy system which run in our world today.

This lead to agitating and the formation of feminist movements.

EFFECT OF PATRIARCHY SYSTEM IN SOCIETY

1.Triggers for Male Supremacy and Sexist Violence

2. Competition:
One of the most negative aspects of the patriarchal norms of masculinity is the tendency for men to constantly be in competition with each other.

3. Rape Culture: this increases the rate of rape in the society. For men, it is seen as a necessity to seduce women (or other potential sexual partners) to the point that they’re encouraged to force other people into sex, with little to no regard for consent. When men are questioned about it, it often gets played of as “boys will be boys,” or “uncontrollable sexual urges,” or “nothing that serious.” For the victim, however, they are often treated horribly, with outsiders calling them “sluts,” saying “they deserved it” or they were “asking for it” for one reason or another, and inevitably removing responsibility from the man who committed the act in the first place. And it goes beyond direct physical encounters too of course, with how women are objectified in every form of media, or how children and teenagers are sexualized to the point that they’re kicked out of class for clothing that’s deemed “too sexy,” so on and so forth.

4. Toxicity- making men hurt each other in all area of life

5. Ignorance: This is one of the illusions the patriarchy tries to pull though: you’re a man, you’re better than women.

6. Suicide:
Also, men have higher rate of suicide based on being strong to hold problem.

The patriarchy system has lead women to suffer as follows:

1. They are paid less still for doing same job as men in many instances.

2. Women feel pressured by society to look a certain way.

3. Women are body-shamed and victim-blamed if we dress “provocatively” and are assaulted.

I totally agree to what you said in this comment.

Thanks again for your time.

Thanks for giving me insight of patriarchy system which run in our world today.

Thanks Ms Jennifer Smith.

You are welcome

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

Here she says:

“”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
whether married or not.

Do not use labels here, simply view another as how they wish to be… as for equality; “I am free born and free bred, where I acknowledge no man as my superior, except for his own worth, or as my inferior, except for his own demerit.” Theodore Roosevelt

As far as someone trying to dictate to me how to live my life and follow my dream; “Never be bullied into silence, never allow yourself to be made a victim, accept no one’s definition of your life, define yourself”… Robert Frost

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Great read. I agree that men and women are equal, we’re all human. However, the only separate duties occur in marriage where the husband should love and the woman submit but submission does not equate to slavery. This verse of the Bible has been misinterpreted and men think ALL women should quiver before them just because they have a bigger build. I think God didn’t give men that build for oppression but for security. Society has set a lot of duties for men and women alike and it’s even painful to see that in a children’s textbook, the duties of a wife are “to cook for the family and clean the house.” It’s a huge shame.
We need to wake up and stop this nonsense. Sexism in general has to stop! No gender is higher than the other and the moment everyone starts to realize this, I believe the world would be better in some aspects.
I didn’t really agree with the part where you said two become one, either male and female, “two men or two women”. I believe marriage should be between opposite sexes. I stand by the Bible.
Great write up, Patrick!

Thank you. I am happy to see your comment. It gives me a thoughtful thinking and am happy for that.

Am so please and happy by that wonderful comment in the beginning of your comment where you said as I quote:

“””””” Great read. I agree that men and women are equal, we’re all human. “”””””

For me personally, I have to add to it

“””‘ I believe that the inequality that women have faced through the centuries and today as well is a failure of all societies, and especially the mindset of male patriarchy. “”””””

As I went further, your own contribution states that women should be see as having equal right with men in the society.

Am in love with this part of the comment. I so much love how you narrated it. I quote from you:

“””””” However, the only separate duties occur in marriage where the husband should love and the woman submit but submission does not equate to slavery. This verse of the Bible has been misinterpreted and men think ALL women should quiver before them just because they have a bigger build. I think God didn’t give men that build for oppression but for security. “””””””””

Checking that statement am able to get two powerful word/point
1. Marriage
2.Submissions(which me termed personally as slavery in terms of oppression, subjugation and subjection)

Starting with first one (MARRIGE)

Marriage should be a union and making man and woman equal. But today’s marriage shows that the women is in total submission to the man. Which me (PATRICK STORIES) found it difficult to comply.

I guess there is an imbalance in it. The man supersede in all decisions making about in the family. The women are kept shut up from making decision.

After much Reading I still back it up again with our own Nigeria feminist/Novelist Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””” Never speak of marriage as an achievement. Find ways to make clear to her that marriage is not
an achievement, nor is it what she should aspire to. A marriage can be happy or unhappy, but it
is not an achievement. We condition girls to aspire to marriage and we do not condition boys to aspire to marriage,
and so there is already a terrible imbalance at the start. “”””

Secondly (submission)

This submission/submissiveness which me termed oppression, subjugation and subjection has made women become less in the society.

For me personally, I kick against the fact that women are weak and less important in the society. We are equal. No body have the right to detect if a person is less or weak. Society has made it look like that. Even some of the women has accepted this fact that they are weak and less important. There by making them weaker vessels and there by making them not to have the equal right with men.

Because of this it gave rise to gender equality that is been declared by feminist.

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””””” Teach her, too, to
question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his
bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be ‘revered’ and
‘championed’ – a sentiment that is all too common.
Tell Chizalum that women actually don’t need to be championed and revered; they just need
to be treated
as equal human beings. There is a patronizing undertone to the idea of women
needing to be ‘championed and revered’ because they are women. It makes me think of
chivalry, and the premise of chivalry is female weakness.

“”””””

The society again has made male patriarchy’s so important that women are not given any position. Again also in terms of power and authority, the society has made men as the point to handle such. Even in the school setting, government establishment and private firm. Women are seen as less and weak to accept such position.

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””””” But here is a sad truth: our world is full of men and women who do not like powerful
women. We have been so conditioned to think of power as male that a powerful woman is an
aberration. And so she is policed. We ask of powerful women – is she humble? Does she
smile? Is she grateful enough? Does she have a domestic side? Questions we do not ask of
powerful men, which shows that our discomfort is not with power itself, but with women. We
judge powerful women more harshly than we judge powerful men “””””””””

Because of the ideal of power, authority and patriarchy’s, this again gave rise to different opinion to make women agitating for gender equality thereby forming the word FEMINISM and FEMINIST.

This statement of yours is very true:

“””” Society has set a lot of duties for men and women alike and it’s even painful to see that in a children’s textbook, the duties of a wife are “to cook for the family and clean the house.” It’s a huge shame.
We need to wake up and stop this nonsense. ”””””

Firstly, I will backed it up with 3 powerful statements made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE.

FIRST BACK UP

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or A feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the third suggestion

“”””” There have been recent Nigerian social media debates about women and cooking, about how
wives have to cook for husbands. It is funny, in the way that sad things are funny, that we are
still talking about cooking as some kind of marriageability test for women.
The knowledge of cooking does not come pre-installed in a vagina. Cooking is learned.
Cooking – domestic work in general – is a life skill that both men and women should ideally
have. It is also a skill that can elude both men and women

“””””””””

SECOND BACKUP

According to a popular literature book “” we should all be feminist “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””””””” I know a woman who hates domestic work, but she pretends that she likes it, because
she has been taught that to be “good wife material,” she has to be—to use that Nigerian
word—homely. And then she got married. And her husband’s family began to complain
that she had changed. Actually, she had not changed. She just got tired of pretending to
be what she was not.
The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than
recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be
our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.
Boys and girls are undeniably different biologically, but socialization exaggerates the
differences. And then starts a self-fulfiling process. Take cooking, for example. Today,
women in general are more likely to do housework than men— cooking and cleaning.
But why is that? Is it because women are born with a cooking gene or because over
years they have been socialized to see cooking as their role? I was going to say that
perhaps women are born with a cooking gene until I remembered that the majority of
famous cooks in the world—who are given the fancy title of “chef”—are men

But what matters even more is our attitude, our mind-set.
What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on
interest instead of gender?

I know a family who has a son and a daughter, a year apart in age, both brilliant at
school. When the boy is hungry, the parents say to the girl, Go and cook Indomie
noodles for your brother. The girl doesn’t like to cook Indomie, but she is a girl and she
has to. What if the parents, from the beginning, taught both children to cook Indomie?
Cooking, by the way, is a useful and practical life skill for a boy to have—I’ve never
thought it made much sense to leave such a crucial thing—the ability to nourish oneself
—in the hands of others. “”””””””””””””

This should give men a little rethink about cooking and house/domestic chores. Which me personally are meant to be shared equally between the two partners.

As for me(PATRICK STORIES) cooking,domestic chores- cleaning sweeping,mopping are supposed to be shared equally.

Cooking was never meant for women. Anybody can cook whether male or female.

THIRD BACK UP

Here is a backup to that statement of yours from our
own popular Nigeria feminist: CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE

Lauren Alix Brown: So in terms of teaching people how to be feminists, has raising a girl changed or challenged any of your suggestions for how to raise a feminist?

CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE : It hasn’t challenged anything, it’s just that it’s made me realize how difficult it is. Because I think I felt that. I’m only just realizing that sometimes it feels like the universe is conspiring against me. Because I am trying to push against ideas and norms that are so ingrained that they can start to feel invisible. And it’s little things. I’m just amazed at how everything is gendered—diapers. I mean baby bodies are the same. But now there are diapers where there’s the girl picture. Some months ago we wanted to get the overnight diapers for Baby because she was starting to wake up quite wet. So we wanted to get the diapers marketed as overnight because they absorb more and there’s girls and boys. I remember saying to my husband, who’s a physician, I said, “Do you think maybe the boys’ has a little thing to hold the penis? I mean, why are they different? He had a good laugh and he’s like, “It’s just marketing.” I remember thinking, there has to be a reason for this because it made no sense to me. But there’s no reason for it. Also, I’m just realizing how early the sexualization of girls starts. Four-year-old girls’ dresses. I find many of them disturbing. It’s sort of like four year olds’ now have to be mini women. I’m noticing these things a lot more just because of my child. And children’s books and cartoons. It does sometimes feel that there’s a conspiracy of the universe. But at the same time, I’m utterly undeterred.
It requires pushing back, but I’m going to push back. I want to equip her with the tools. I’m hoping that she grows up to be the girl who sort of mocks these things—who gets it and who mocks them. That’s my hope, that would be ideal for me.

As I went further I was also to pick a good point again in your last line in the comment taking about sexism.

Here is your statement: Sexism in general has to stop! No gender is higher than the other and the moment everyone starts to realize this, I believe the world would be better in some aspects.

Here is the point as I quote from Nigeria feminist: CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE

Her quote:

In Dear Ijeawele: A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie writes that she is angrier about sexism than she is about racism. “I don’t think sexism is worse than racism, it’s impossible even to compare,” she clarifies. “It’s that I feel lonely in my fight against sexism, in a way that I don’t feel in my fight against racism. My friends, my family, they get racism, they get it. The people I’m close to who are not black get it. But I find that with sexism you are constantly having to explain, justify, convince, make a case for.”

For me personally, Sexism also has the potential to shape how women think, feel and behave towards men in general. Research shows that women often experience a variety of negative emotions when they are the targets of sexism/Sexists.Sexism has lead to gender discrimination on the part of women.

“””” I didn’t really agree with the part where you said two become one, either male and female, “two men or two women”. “””

When I said: “”” two men or two women “”” what I mean is that when men or women come today they should be able to discus or dialogue on how the world would be better in some aspects and should able to aim and share equality with opposite sex.

Thanks for understanding me. Am please with that correction.

Thanks for giving me a chance to talk to you. Am please now I have someone who have my same idea.

As for me I have been given the orientation about Gender equality right from the onset.

Firstly
I was brought up by a mother who inculcated in me a deep respect for women. I believe that the inequality that women have faced through the centuries and today as well is a failure of all societies, and especially the mindset of male patriarchy. I cannot call myself anything other than a person who believes strongly in justice and gender-rights for women everywhere.

Secondly

Though I believe strongly in the cause of the emancipation of women in all societies that repress women and pursue the same practices of male domination.

I always believe and I have written about it numerous time as well in my blog that women are more versatile than men. I think they are wired differently and can juggle many balls with excellence. Feminism is not a comparison of gender but a voice to strengthen the female power, to provide a platform for others to motivate and more importantly to grow

This is what I think as the role of a man as it relates to promoting feminism?

The progression on the society is still going to base on gender equality.

My point of view on what you said about gender equality (I believe we should focus on progression of society than getting caught in societal terms like gender equality)

Sorry for making that o have to make such correction personally.

Gender equality is not a societal term. If it was societal term. I guess nothing like FEMINIST and FEMINISM.

Societal term is what the society believe and talk about.

But gender equality is not talked much in the society.

Lastly, in the progression of the society the men should give privileges to women also. Every thing should not be based on patriarchy(male dominance)

This is my quote about gender equality to broad up your knowledge again

——–Men should be responsible for also participating in a positive revolution towards mutual respect, equal pay, workplace equality, educational opportunities and demanding that their female counterparts receive what they should———-

The poem clearly defines and elaborates the true meaning of feminism unlike how it is defined by feminists today. It clearly states the importance of unity among both genders unlike the unhealthy competition seen today. Don’t get me wrong,I do support gender equality.

Feminist have been there from time in memorial, just that a small section of them in our society today have a totally negative perspective of what feminism is all about or rather they do not clearly understand what it’s all about.Feminism is an important part of the society today if well brought out and advocated in the correct way. I can’t say I’m a feminist rather I am a champion of gender equality.

Am Patrick by name
As I view it, what you are doing is equally impressive.
Am touches by your comment and reply
You are such a good writer with an incredible blog.
Am so glad that I had to see someone who have my idea about feminism and gender equality
I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing wednesday
Love to get your contact so we talk more.
For any information email me:
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Editor: PATRICK @patrickrealstories.wordpress.com
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Peace ✌and Love ❤

This is very interesting. I read the Poem yesterday and saved the narration for this morning. Thanks so much for the detailed narration and explanation of each line of the poem. I have read poems before that contained so much meaning and lessons but never understood every bit so your detailed explanation really helped here. I can’t call myself a feminist but I do advocate for women’s rights. I grew up in a patriarchal society and even though i don’t live there anymore, the conditions and how women are being treated out-rightly demand for someone to speak up.
I believe in advocating for gender equality because despite the fact that we are all human, in some areas the treatment we receive varies. Even the Bible calls upon women to be submissive and men are told to love…
However I believe that equality isn’t and shouldn’t be the back bone of feminism. Women are subjected to so much Sexual and gender based violence, discrimination and sexual harassment/sexism which cannot be eradicated just by achieving equality.
We might get the results of empowered girls and women from preaching independence and empowerment on the basis of attaining gender equality but that will not help to do away with all the biases and prejudices.
Feminism is more than just Gender equality and you have clearly elucidated that in your post. You are really educated and informed about the topic and this world could use more people like you.

Thanks again for the very interesting and educating post. Allow me to share it on my blog.

Am so please by that wonderful compliment in the beginning of your comment where you said as I quote:

———–This is very interesting. I read the Poem yesterday and saved the narration for this morning. Thanks so much for the detailed narration and explanation of each line of the poem ———–

This is how I do my things, I make sure all my poems have meaning so the mind of viewers or readers will not be only imagination but it look more real and superior to their thinking.

I understand what you said when you type:
“””” I grew up in a patriarchal society “””””

For me personally I still grow up in a patriarchal society(male dominance) where all decision where made by male both in marriages, relationships and jobs.

I got tired on how women where treated I felt the pain in me. So I started advocating for gender right and women right.

The society again has made male patriarchy’s so important that women are not given any position. Again also in terms of power and authority, the society has made men as the point to handle such. Even in the school setting, government establishment and private firm. Women are seen as less and weak to accept such position.

I have to back up that statement which you quote above: “””” I grew up in a patriarchal society “””””

Am using two quotation from FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi

1st QUOTATION:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””””””” But here is a sad truth: our world is full of men and women who do not like powerful
women. We have been so conditioned to think of power as male that a powerful woman is an
aberration. And so she is policed. We ask of powerful women – is she humble? Does she
smile? Is she grateful enough? Does she have a domestic side? Questions we do not ask of
powerful men, which shows that our discomfort is not with power itself, but with women. We
judge powerful women more harshly than we judge powerful men “””””””””

Because of the ideal of power, authority and patriarchy’s, this again gave rise to different opinion to make women agitating for gender equality thereby forming the word FEMINISM and FEMINIST.

2nd QUOTATION:

According to a popular literature book “”” we should all be feminist “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Men and women are different. We have different hormones and different sexual organs
and different biological abilities—women can have babies, men cannot. Men have more
testosterone and are, in general, physically stronger than women. There are slightly
more women than men in the world—52 percent of the world’s population is female—
but most of the positions of power and prestige are occupied by men. The late Kenyan
Nobel peace laureate Wangari Maathai put it simply and well when she said, the higher
you go, the fewer women there are. “”””””

I know I have not gotten to the stage where I have my own establishment that fight for women right. But with time I will get to that point.

Going further in to your long and explained comment. Am able to pick/select some thoughtful quotes/points from you.

They are listed as follows:

Point/quote 1- I can’t call myself a feminist but I do advocate for women’s rights.

Point/quote 2-I believe in advocating for gender equality because despite the fact that we are all human, in some areas the treatment we receive varies.

Point/quote 3- I believe that equality isn’t and shouldn’t be the back bone of feminism. Women are subjected to so much Sexual and gender based violence, discrimination and sexual harassment/sexism which cannot be eradicated just by achieving equality.

EXPLANTIONS-

1. I can’t call myself a feminist but I do advocate for women’s rights.

Making reference to POINT/QUOTE 1

That is a very good point. Not all women fight for such right. Some women still believe men should dominant in all areas of life. Good point/quote you have there.
Am happy for that point/quote.

Am able to capture this part where you said:

“””””” I can’t call myself a feminist “””””””

Not all women like to be called feminist but some show the attributes of a feminist.

For me personally (PATRICK STORIES)

It would be arrogant of me to call myself a feminist, though I believe strongly in the cause of the emancipation of women in all societies that repress women and pursue the same practices of male domination( Patriarchal society)

2. I believe in advocating for gender equality because despite the fact that we are all human, in some areas the treatment we receive varies.

Making reference to POINT/QUOTE 2

Going further to point/quote 2. It sound like a good point to me. Here it talks about GENDER EQUALITY.

Still based on the Gender equality also. I have to clearly state my mind about it.

“”””””” I was brought up by a mother who inculcated in me a deep respect for women. I believe that the inequality that women have faced through the centuries and today as well is a failure of all societies, and especially the mindset of male patriarchy. I cannot call myself anything other than a person who believes strongly in justice and gender-rights for women everywhere.

“””””””””””

For me personally I believe that the inequality that women have faced through the centuries and today as well is a failure of all societies, and especially the mindset of male patriarchy.

As I went further your own contribution states that women should be see as having equal right with men in the society.

For me personally, I kick against the fact that women are weak and less important in the society. We are equal.

No body have the right to detect if a person is less or weak. Society has made it look like that. Even some of the women has accepted this fact that they are weak and less important. There by making them weaker vessels and there by making them not to have the equal right withe men.

Because of this it gave rise to gender equality that is been declared by feminist.

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””””” Teach her, too, to
question the idea of women as a special species. I once heard an American politician, in his
bid to show his support for women, speak of how women should be ‘revered’ and
‘championed’ – a sentiment that is all too common.
Tell Chizalum that women actually don’t need to be championed and revered; they just need
to be treated as equal human beings. There is a patronizing undertone to the idea of women
needing to be ‘championed and revered’ because they are women. It makes me think of
chivalry, and the premise of chivalry is female weakness.

“”””””

3. I believe that equality isn’t and shouldn’t be the back bone of feminism. Women are subjected to so much Sexual and gender based violence, discrimination and sexual harassment/sexism which cannot be eradicated just by achieving equality.

Making reference to POINT/QUOTE 3

That is actually true, whether women achieve that EQUALITY with men or not. They will be subjected to;
1. Sexual and gender based violence
2. Discrimination
3. Sexual harassment
4. Sexism

I totally agree with your idea of
1. empowering girls and women in preaching independence(skill acquisition)

2. Empowerment on the basis of attaining gender equality.

But checking properly at the end, that will not do away with all the biases and prejudices level against women like;
1. Sexual and gender based violence
2. Discrimination
3. Sexual harassment
4. Sexism

Thanks for the compliments (
You are really educated and informed about the topic and this world could use more people like you.Thanks again for the very interesting and educating post. )

Thanks for giving me a chance to talk to you. Am please now I have someone who have my same idea and agree with me.

These words you used are painted in truth, experience and reflective. I especially love how you started it and how you ended the write up. Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed . Each word you used are true and reflective of my personal encounter with people .

This produced a smile on my tired face after a long day. You’re appreciated.

This is very, very thought-provoking and presented with care, deep thoughtfulness and with great respect. Your topic interested me greatly, as I recently -perhaps a month ago – made a conscious decision NOT to call myself a ‘feminist’ but rather, an ‘egalitarian’. I believe we must leave room for BOTH sexes to live in a climate of mutual respect and equality. Thank you so much…

Thanks so much for this great comment in the beginning – (This is very, very thought-provoking and presented with care, deep thoughtfulness and with great respect.)
Thank you so much for your great insight on this post about FEMINISM, FEMINIST and GENDER EQUALITY.
In the age of feminism, I have come to understand everyone has different levels or forms as it relates to the individual.
And as a result, they operate based on the principles they agree with. Its interesting that some society don’t agree with feminism.
They feel the women will overpower the men. That is totally absurd to say or think.

Thanks for bringing up this matter about GENDER EQUALITY.
What a great comment and well said,
Patti Moore Wilson, I agree in that being a feminist doesn’t mean being a man-hater. It’s about equal rights and opportunities, as you conveyed. With that being said, things won’t always be equal between men and women because of the physical differences and other factors. It’s like being in a relationship. It won’t always be 50/50. It’s give and take on both sides.
Regarding voices, it’s too bad that louder volumes are attention-grabbers, too, but I can also see a softer, firm, confident voice getting the message across, as well. I’m on the fence with this, but as we’ve grown up to learn, anger isn’t the answer. Shouldn’t it be “our” desire and goal to calm things down in the human race? I truly understand, though, why some women feel they have to raise their voices, otherwise, they may not be heard. It’s still truly astonishing, the mentality that women should be less than men in any circumstance, be it job position, salaries, etc. May it be someday (sooner than later) that both women and men can be respected equally.
I (PATRICK STORIES) strongly believe in equal rights and opportunity for all, regardless of gender (or skin colour, ethnicity etc). I believe everyone should be respected as a unique individual and not judged on the basis of being a woman or man, black or white etc.
Some questions was not answers after checking and reading your comments.

Love to ask a simple question:

1. What are the views about FEMINIST and FEMINISM in the society?

2. Are you in support of GENDER EQUALITY been agitated by FEMINIST?

3. what is your definition of feminism and why do you support feminists?

4. what do you think the role of a man is as it relates to promoting feminism?

Not really such a simple question, PATRICK STORIES! 😊 You know, I think I could write a post on this one… please give me a few days to deeply ponder your questions and I will be sure, when I post it on my blog, to link my answer to YOUR blog. This is a huge and important topic, and I would like to do it the honour of my time and my thought… thanks so much, in advance, for your patience…🙏😊

The thing is, just like all those years ago when I decided to hate every single man on the planet based on a few bad experiences, I do not wish to exclude 50% (or so) of the human population by using a word (‘feminism’) that only refers to one – of two – sexes. I believe men and women are supposed to be in this thing together. I believe we are supposed to work together; to honour one another’s contributions; to combine our strengths; our talents; our aptitudes; our gifts…

I believe we are supposed to raise one another up.

I know that this is rarely how it works. I know women in (way too) many countries have no rights at all. I know that even in the most enlightened societies, women are still generally at a disadvantage. But I choose to believe that, one relationship at a time, we can be better; do better. Tribalism – no matter between whom – never serves but to divide people and to create chaos, discord and mistrust.

So no, dear PATRICK STORIES, I do not think I am feminist. I am more of an egalitarian. I know I sit on a lonely perch. I know this must anger a great many people who espouse a more ‘traditional’ viewpoint regarding the rules of men and women in society; in a relationship.

Great post Mr Patrick, and thought-provoking as always. I have seen amazing comments as well.
Up till today, I cannot find one way to define feminism.

I personally believe that it has been stereotyped and stigmatized so much these days so much that it has lost its value for the mere way it is spelled. However, if me standing for women getting proper education and well-deserved respect by the fellow men means I am a feminist, then so be it.

It is sad that many societies have still not recognized the value of women, ranging from their presence in the homes to the governmental positions.

I am happy that people like you are raising awareness for it. The situation has become better than before. And it shall continue to be better.

For myself I’m in total support of feminist too and am against those negative stereotypes feminists I know.

Going further in to your comment. I was Abe to pick an important message that touched me as I quote from you:

——— However, if me standing for women getting proper education and well-deserved respect by the fellow men means I am a feminist, then so be it. ———–

I can’t call myself a feminist but I do advocate for women’s rights.
For me personally (PATRICK STORIES)

It would be arrogant of me to call myself a feminist, though I believe strongly in the cause of the emancipation of women in all societies that repress women and pursue the same practices of male domination( Patriarchal society)

One of the reasons feminism has developed a bad image in some quarters is also because of inaccurate propaganda and a backlash by those that don’t really understand what feminism is.

It never was about hating men or hating anything, it was about equal rights. Yes it’s true that feminism probably means something different to everyone, but one over-riding fact still remains – that feminism was and is simply about EQUALITY.

That’s it, EQUALITY. It’s not a scary thing, its simply about having men and women treated with
1. equal respect

2. getting equal pay for the same job

3. having an equal voice in society and

4. having equal freedoms.

That’s it. It’s not threatening anyone, just as equal rights should never be dependent on the colour of your skin, your ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, cultural background, etc.

It’s also should never be dependent on your gender. If women are angry about not having equal rights, that is not only understandable but should never be misinterpreted as hysteria or hatred, the same way that the civil rights movement were understandably angry that people of colour were being denied basic human rights because of the colour of their skin.

As a wider society, we all have a part to play in ensuring that ALL people have equal rights.

It’s got nothing to do with hate just about equality and fairness.

Thanks for these encouraging words and comments (I am happy that people like you are raising awareness for it. The situation has become better than before. And it shall continue to be better. )

I know I have not gotten to the stage where I have my own establishment that fight for women right. But with time I will get to that point.

Thanks for giving me a chance to talk to you. Am please now I have someone who have my same idea and agree with me.

These words you used are painted in truth, experience and reflective. I especially love how you started it and how you ended the write up. Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed . Each word you used are true and reflective of my personal encounter with people .

This produced a smile on my tired face after a long day. You’re appreciated.

You welcome Ms Nafisah NK

#PATRICKSTORIES
Peace ✌and Love ❤

NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

Here she says:

“”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
whether married or not.

Patrick, you kindly requested my thoughts so I’d like to preempt this by saying I am not a scholar, but rather an enjoyer of words, and the emotions they bring or convey . I rather had difficulty placing such high weight of feminism on this piece. Yes it may have its place, no I’m not familiar with the author to know their stance in life as a whole. But rather I have stepped back to see these lines as one large picture of life.
The sweetness of life (plumcot).
The mystery of its beginning (rib).
The leaning towards a religious or history and upbringing within Christianity (mentioning Eve).
And lastly, “ HE “ meaning God or the creator/ omniscient power being honored.

Even higher than equality or feminism is the freedom to think, feel and decipher on your own. That is my understanding and choice.

Oh my touch by this comment, this blew me away. Thank you for taking the time to share your own view and contributions through these words.

These words are painted in truth and your own perspective of the poem.

I especially love how you started it :
—-Patrick, you kindly requested my thoughts so I’d like to preempt this by saying I am not a scholar, but rather an enjoyer of words, and the emotions they bring or convey —————

I also love how you ended it

——– Even higher than equality or feminism is the freedom to think, feel and decipher on your own. That is my understanding and choice. ——–

Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed .

Each word you used are true and reflection on what the fruit (PLUMCOT) represents.

Am Happy you made my morning by saying these great words in your comment.

1. The sweetness of life (plumcot).

2. The mystery of its beginning (rib).

3. The leaning towards a religious or history and upbringing within Christianity (mentioning Eve).

4. “ HE “ meaning God or the creator/ omniscient power being honored.

These words didn’t come out of no where but is a clear understanding on how your picture the poem.

Am very happy to have you on my comment list.

The poem has a lot of meaning according to understanding of the reader and its views/contributions.

Me personally(PATRICK STORIES) I love to make explanations about the poem so the reader/viewers can get to know what the poem is all about.

Some questions was not answered after checking and reading your comments.

Love to ask the simple questions again:

1. What are the views about FEMINIST and FEMINISM in the society?

2. Are you in support of GENDER EQUALITY been agitated by FEMINIST?

3. what is your definition of feminism and why do you support feminists?

4. what do you think the role of a man is as it relates to promoting feminism?

Man and woman are equal. There is no doubt. Most woman of today do a man’s job. Same as man, they do woman’s job. Both think the same way, act the same way, and speak the same way, lead the same way. We all agree that they are equal, though of course, physically man are stronger. But it is not really the point. The truth is, man and woman is very different from each other. Traditionally (or maybe the best scenario), it is the man who works for a living, while the woman needs to carry their child for nine long months. That is the difference. It is actually that “difference” that makes them one. That is why they need each other. They need to work together. Working together will bring better results. They need to function as one to succeed. Same for anything else. We do have our own “functions” to do. Man matters. Woman matters. We all matters.

Am really sorry for the late response to your comment.
Just be busy all this while.

Thanks for bringing up this matter EQUALITY in your statement as I quote :

“””””” Man and woman are equal. There is no doubt. “””””‘

I really liked this comment And it seems we have very similar views on equality! I do not believe men and women should be “forced” to be the same. And I don’t think the fact that we are not the same is a problem but the problem is about understanding on each part of men and women. There are still inequalities, stereotypes and problems in society – many affect women more and some affect men more.

Much of this unfavoured part and placement of women in the society lead to the rise of FEMINISM.

FEMINISM is simply about EQUALITY. That’s it, equality. It’s not a scary thing, its simply about having men and women treated with equal respect, getting equal pay for the same job, having an equal voice in society and having equal freedoms. That’s it. It’s not threatening anyone, just as equal rights should never be dependent on the colour of your skin, your ethnicity, religion or lack of, sexual orientation, cultural background, etc.

It also should never be dependent on your gender. If women are angry about not having equal rights, that is not only understandable but should never be misinterpreted as hysteria or hatred, the same way that the civil rights movement were understandably angry that people of colour were being denied basic human rights because of the colour of their skin. As a wider society, we all have a part to play in ensuring that ALL people have equal rights and equal pay and same fairness.

I just skimmed through your reply to the question put after you. And I must say , it really cool as you said.

Reading what you said on your comment touched me as I read through your own contribution on this poem.

You were able to point out each functions of men and women differently. I appreciate your time.

Am able to get two solid points that you made

1. It is actually that “difference” that makes them one. That is why they need each other.

2. We all agree that they are equal, though of course, physically man are stronger.

Getting a back up to this points made by you in your contributions.

So that statement you said can be back up by Chimamanda works on feminism.

According to a popular literature book “”” we should all be feminist “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Men and women are different. We have different hormones and different sexual organs
and different biological abilities—women can have babies, men cannot. Men have more
testosterone and are, in general, physically stronger than women. There are slightly
more women than men in the world—52 percent of the world’s population is female—
but most of the positions of power and prestige are occupied by men. The late Kenyan
Nobel peace laureate Wangari Maathai put it simply and well when she said, the higher
you go, the fewer women there are.
In the recent US elections, we kept hearing of the Lilly Ledbetter law, and if we go
beyond that nicely alliterative name, it was really about this: in the US, a man and a
woman are doing the same job, with the same qualifications, and the man is paid more
because he is a man.
So in a literal way, men rule the world. This made sense—a thousand years ago.
Because human beings lived then in a world in which physical strength was the most
important attribute for survival; the physically stronger person was more likely to lead.
And men in general are physically stronger. (There are of course many exceptions.)
Today, we live in a vastly different world. The person more qualified to lead is not the
physically stronger person. It is the more intelligent, the more knowledgeable, the more
creative, more innovative. And there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as
likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative, creative. We have evolved. But our
ideas of gender have not evolved very much.Not long ago, I walked into the lobby of one of the best Nigerian hotels, and a guard at
the entrance stopped me and asked me annoying question-what was the name and
room number of the person I was visiting? Did I know this person? Could I prove that I
was a hotel guest by showing him my key card?—because the automatic assumption is
that a Nigerian female walking into a hotel alone is a sex worker.Because a Nigerian
female alone cannot possibly be a guest paying for her own room. A man who walks
into the same hotel is not harassed. The assumption is that he is there for something
legitimate. (Why, by the way, do those hotels not focus on the demand for sex workers
instead of on the ostensible supply?)
In Lagos, I cannot go alone into many reputable clubs and bars. They just don’t let
you in if you are a woman alone. You must be accompanied by a man. And so I have
male friends who arrive at clubs and end up going in with their arms linked with those
of a complete stranger, because that complete stranger, a woman out on her own, had
no choice but to ask for “help” to get into the club

“”””””

It is very wrong but more wrong is to accept others opinions about how women are weak and have NO place in the society.

It’s still truly astonishing and downgrading, the mentality that women should be less than men in any circumstance, be it job position, salaries, etc. May be someday (sooner than later) that both women and men can be respected equally.

If women have to move ahead and get a their own place in society they need to talk about their own rights not the equality. There is no point of view in asking even equality with men because men and women both are different both have their own uniqueness and rights.

There should not be comparison/difference because comparison/difference create conflict.

I know not easy to make man and woman to be equal in all round in the society.

But for me personally, I believe in advocating for gender equality because despite the fact that we are all human, in some areas the treatment women receive varies from men in the society we found ourselves.

Towards the end of your comment I was touched by the part where you said

“””” Working together will bring better results. They need to function as one to succeed. Same for anything else. We do have our own “functions” to do. Man matters. Woman matters. We all matters. “”””‘

The poem is all about togetherness and bringing about mutual relationship between both of them.

Men & Women both are the beautiful part of the nature and even though here everyone is unique and alone but this is inter-connected. That fabric which connects is missing. That is fabric of love, respect and care for fellow beings.

I believe feminism in society is impacting men and women all over the globe(albeit slowly), not just here in the United States. Many women in the Middle East and other places are beginning to stand up, and they are challenging these antiquated beliefs that the man has full control, authority, and ownership of the woman.

I also can’t imagine what it feels like to wonder if your own family will disown you for adopting a different mindset, lifestyle, belief. Or possibly being murdered for it.

Honestly I don’t know much about feminism, and being a feminist. But I am a woman, a mother, and have been a wife…..twice at some point of my life.🙄 My personal views thus far have evolved, as I have over the span of 3 decades. With experiencing abandonment, domestic violence, and divorce, I will say that my views and beliefs have changed along the years with me.

Once a woman is violated, she just sees the world differently and sees men differently as well. This woman becomes hardened and distrustful of many people. I know I have. Does that make me more, or less of a feminist? I don’t hate men. I hate what they can get away with.

As far as my thoughts on the initial poem, I love that it says the two different fruits need each other to produce the best fruit. I believe in love. I believe in marriage, and that it can be Holy. We need each other. Men need women, and women need men. I feel like we should balance each other out, not compete with the opposite sex.

I am in support of gender equality. Being agitated by feminist,? I don’t know what that means. I’m a pessimist when it comes to this issue. I don’t think that things will change much during my lifetime. But I would hope to be proven wrong. I just personally feel like although we women deserve equal rights, the laws just aren’t in our favor. For example, when a police officer can’t help a woman being abused unless she’s actually assaulted. I have two separate and different experiences where I was violated by a man. When I called the police, there was nothing they could do for me. So even though I got groped by a strange man that I didn’t know, there was nothing I could do about it. He got away with it.

Good day Miss/Mrs. Thanks for the comment on the poem. Am really please to say I enjoyed every part you said from the beginning of the comment. These words touched my heart. Give me the heart to move on.

I just went through your comment and the word you used are strongly meaningful. And I must say, it really cool, it gives people a chance to think about women in the society based on the poem.

I guess you did a good and personal analysis of the poem and the questions put across you were answered.

Thanks for showing interest in my post/poem. Am happy you made some point clear regarding FEMINISM and FEMINIST.

Some men get it wrong.

“”””’ It does not mean women’s supremacy over men.””””‘

Some times I keep telling my men counterpart about it, that FEMINISM is all about the right for gender equality, opportunities and duties for women and men.

For me I like girls who are feminist and am always interested in them when they say “”” I am a feminist “””

I feel blessed by your writing right now. I found delight love and joy in what you just wrote about women. Though am a man but a women gave birth to me. So I respect then a lot when they air out how they are been accepted as nothing in the society.

I will love my own part of the contribution here and the feminist I have come across.
This is the one that touched me.

We did a long chat. And her response was WOW.

Here is the little summary:

I asked a Muslim girl who is my friend on Facebook, an Algerian girl. She is a blogger also. After a long chat we discussed some recent issues about women in the Society and likewise chinanmanda adichie a popular feminist in USA(the writer of purple hibiscus)

So I throw up a question to her

Question- Can you be a Feminist?

Her answer(reply)
One thing you should know about feminism is that there are many kinds of feminisms. Not all movements have the same goals and views. I can be a feminist. I might agree with some feminists like Adichie because they speak of troubles women go through in certain places and it makes sense. What I don’t agree with, though, is being a fanatical feminist, those who are fighting just for the sake of fighting. There needs to be a cause and as a Muslim woman, I fully believe that my religion has covered all what a woman needs to have. Islam assures all the rights of women and preserves them very well. So all what we need is to follow the rules of our conviction and work in accordance with them. And then we wouldn’t need a feminist movement at all. Thats my belief.

“””””” I am in support of gender equality. Being agitated by feminist “””””””””

I feel for gender equality to work well, Men should be responsible for also participating in a positive revolution towards mutual respect, equal pay, workplace equality, educational opportunities and demanding that their female counterparts receive what they should.

Reading your comment about gender equality make me remember one of my greatest post about feminism which I formed this year.

Gender equality

I was brought up by a mother who inculcated in me a deep respect for women. I believe that the inequality that women have faced through the centuries and today as well is a failure of all societies, and especially the mindset of male patriarchy. I cannot call myself anything other than a person who believes strongly in justice and gender-rights for women everywhere. It would be arrogant of me to call myself a feminist, though I believe strongly in the cause of the emancipation of women in all societies that repress women and pursue the same practices of male domination.

Am highly motivated this afternoon, after seeing such comment on my post.

Hi Patrick… thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem about feminism. I do agree with your thoughts about feminism. I am a feminist but I never hate men . My father was a great man who raised her three daughters with all freedom that we continue to enjoy after marriage also. But I will continue to fight for women right .

NOTE: “”” Ms “””” was attached here to your name because I believe you are a feminist and you run a feminist blog and also the way the popular FEMINIST Adichie Chimamanda Ngozi says in her book:

According to a popular literature book “””. Dear ijeawele or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions “””

Here she says:

“”””””‘ Mrs’ is a title I dislike because Nigerian society gives it too much value. I have observed too many cases of men and women who proudly speak of the title of Mrs as though those who
are not Mrs have somehow failed at something. Mrs can be a choice, but to infuse it with as
much value as our culture does is disturbing. The value we give to Mrs means that marriage
changes the social status of a woman but not that of a man. (Is that perhaps why many women
complain of married men still ‘acting’ as though they were single? Perhaps if our society asked
married men to change their names and take on a new title, different from Mr, their behaviour
might change as well? Ha!) But more seriously, if you, a twenty-eight-year-old master’s degree
holder, go overnight frodo Ijeawele Eze to Mrs Ijeawele Udegbunam, surely it requires not just
the mental energy of changing passports and licences but also a psychic change, a new
‘becoming’? This new ‘becoming’ would not matter so much if men, too, had to undergo it.
I prefer Ms because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr whether married or not, a woman is Ms
whether married or not.

Really it’s great message because Feminism is not all about giving preference to one side and other half left unfocused .You advocate well about equality because without men women is nothing but she should not be treated as servant .Feminism here means girls rights ,but need to focus on men too cuz both presence is equally important for existence of this world …I appreciate your talent.

I am new blog writer but let me share my opinion about Feminism and feminist.
Feminism – It means women should have equal rights and avenues like men .Women should be considered equal like men in political economic and social areas .All the share of men and women should be equal .There should be no discrimination with women .

Feminist- He or she is someone who practices feminism .Who start various campaigns and movements for women rights .

I find the different kinds of feminism is as varied as say Republicans and Democrats of today. I’ve become less progressive in some ways, but more so in others. Regarding feminism from what I know and read, there isn’t a cookie cutter press you can buy or put another way there isn’t one type of female symbol you can draw on a piece of paper and say it’s all inclusive. The biggest thing I find being an obstacle is finding common ground and then once you find it, trying to make it come together like a well oiled machine. I’ve come to believe situating yourself on the opposite ends of the spectrum can be a dangerous place to stand, but I do understand why people do it. As with anything, just because there is a law on the books doesn’t mean it is enforced or gets punished if violated or rewarded if followed. There are ways to get around and justify actions, but the beliefs you learn as you grow up usually stick with you. How do you create inclusiveness for most everyone? While it sounds easy in theory, not so much in practice. Then, if you bring race into the mix, it causes distress for certain pockets of society and within the disenfranchised groups too. This is quite a heavy topic, but if I’ve learned anything it’s that everyone’s voice is valid to an extent. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or they are on the same path as your beliefs, but the hardest thing the world faces right now is finding common ground. I will say you need to also change the structures put in existence as well and that is hard to do when they are so embedded into society. Just a few thoughts.

Checking your first writing in your comment:
“”””” I find the different kinds of feminism is as varied as say Republicans and Democrats of today. “”””””””

In reference to the above statement you made

For me personally, In the age of feminism I have come to understand everyone has different levels or forms as it relates to the individual. And as a result, they operate based on the principles they agree with.

Another helpful insight you said regarding feminism as I quote:

“”””””” Regarding feminism from what I know and read, there isn’t a cookie cutter press you can buy or put another way there isn’t one type of female symbol you can draw on a piece of paper and say it’s all inclusive “”””””‘””

I made a quite cool reference to a quote given by Gina Torres

Really feminism is about being all that you are and not having to trade one thing for another on your way up.

Gina Torres

Another part that interest me the most is about finding COMMON GROUND as you said in your comment as I quote:

“””””””” It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or they are on the same path as your beliefs, but the hardest thing the world faces right now is finding common ground. “”””””””””

After much cracking of brain I was able to know that it going to be hard for both Men and women to accept that COMMON GROUND.

Base on the common ground issues. I will like to ask a simple question and I will answer it according to my own little Knowledge.

Question:
Why can’t men’s rights and feminists find any common ground if they both want equality of the sexes?

First Answer:

Why can’t men’s rights and feminists find any common ground if they both want equality of the sexes?
Why can’t men’s rights and feminists find any common ground if they both want equality of the sexes?

Because they DON’T “both want equality of the sexes.”

Feminists do, as their goals and agenda, inclusiveness, and willingness to represent the interests of both men and women makes clear.

Feminists work with them all the time on issues of parental leave, sexual and domestic violence, custody, and other issues facing both men and women.

However, the majority of so-called “men’s rights activist(MRA) groups” don’t want equality. Their groups exist only to complain about every advance women have made. They offer no programs or solutions to problems facing men – they just whine about how it’s not fair that women get anything at all.

They denigrate feminists using the same language their grandfathers used to denigrate suffragists. They routinely refer to women using derogatory language, usually focused on appearance, and their leaders consistently talk about women as being good for one thing only. They promote false information about feminism, about feminists, and about women’s rights. They openly oppose measures designed to promote equality. They actively yearn for a return to the days when women had few choices but to stay in an empty or abusive relationship. Some of their leaders insist that women be treated under the law as objects, going so far as to claim that giving women the right to vote was a mistake that should be “corrected” by rescinding that right. Some of their leaders claim that date rape is a lie, or actually advocate raping women.

Second Answer:

Because Men’s rights activists never cared for equality.

Feminist movement started to eradicate the inequalities between sexes. Men’s rights movement started because, the inequalities (in terms of rights and opportunities) between sexes were reducing. It started because, the idea of male supremacy was on decline by virtue of the concept of ‘equality’.

It’s pretty simple actually. If a group of people are habituated with supremacy for years, decades or generations, any step towards towards equality will seem like oppression to them.

Hence, the conclusion : Feminists (even with the presence of a few radical misandrists in the group) are still aiming for equality, and nothing more. Where as MRAs are looking to achieve ‘male supremacy’ like medieval times.

Notice the huge difference? One group advertises equality for all genders; justice; and a decent world. The other group thinks that it’s “misandry” when women advocate for their rights, or speak their mind.

Lastly am happy for this great advice you gave in your comment towards the end as I quote:

“””””””” I will say you need to also change the structures put in existence as well and that is hard to do when they are so embedded into society. “”””””””

The society has made everything inclined to the men(patriarchy society).

Getting a back up to this points made by you in your contributions.( I will say you need to also change the structures put in existence as well and that is hard to do when they are so embedded into society.)

So that statement you said can be back up by Chimamanda works on feminism.

According to a popular literature book “”” we should all be feminist “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Men and women are different. We have different hormones and different sexual organs
and different biological abilities—women can have babies, men cannot. Men have more
testosterone and are, in general, physically stronger than women. There are slightly
more women than men in the world—52 percent of the world’s population is female—
but most of the positions of power and prestige are occupied by men. The late Kenyan
Nobel peace laureate Wangari Maathai put it simply and well when she said, the higher
you go, the fewer women there are.
In the US, a man and a
woman are doing the same job, with the same qualifications, and the man is paid more
because he is a man.
So in a literal way, men rule the world. This made sense—a thousand years ago.
Because human beings lived then in a world in which physical strength was the most
important attribute for survival; the physically stronger person was more likely to lead.
And men in general are physically stronger. (There are of course many exceptions.)
Today, we live in a vastly different world. The person more qualified to lead is not the
physically stronger person. It is the more intelligent, the more knowledgeable, the more
creative, more innovative. And there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as
likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative, creative. We have evolved. But our
ideas of gender have not evolved very much.Not long ago, I walked into the lobby of one of the best Nigerian hotels, and a guard at
the entrance stopped me and asked me annoying question-what was the name and
room number of the person I was visiting? Did I know this person? Could I prove that I
was a hotel guest by showing him my key card?—because the automatic assumption is
that a Nigerian female walking into a hotel alone is a sex worker.Because a Nigerian
female alone cannot possibly be a guest paying for her own room. A man who walks
into the same hotel is not harassed. The assumption is that he is there for something
legitimate. (Why, by the way, do those hotels not focus on the demand for sex workers
instead of on the ostensible supply?)
In Lagos, I cannot go alone into many reputable clubs and bars. They just don’t let
you in if you are a woman alone. You must be accompanied by a man. And so I have
male friends who arrive at clubs and end up going in with their arms linked with those
of a complete stranger, because that complete stranger, a woman out on her own, had
no choice but to ask for “help” to get into the club

“”””””

It is very wrong but more wrong is to accept others opinions about how women are weak and have NO place in the society. It’s still truly astonishing and downgrading, the mentality that women should be less than men in any circumstance, be it job position, salaries, etc. May be someday (sooner than later) that both women and men can be respected equally.

If women have to move ahead and get a their own place in society they need to talk about their own rights not the equality. There is no point of view in asking even equality with men because men and women both are different both have their own uniqueness and rights.

There should not be comparison/difference because comparison/difference create conflict.

I know not easy to make man and woman to be equal in all round in the society.

But for me personally, I believe in advocating for gender equality because despite the fact that we are all human, in some areas the treatment women receive varies from men in the society we found ourselves.

Thank you again for checking my work out.
Thanks for the words(Just a few thoughts)

This few thoughts are great.

I know I have not gotten to the stage where I have my own establishment that fight for women right. But with time I will get to that point.

Thanks for giving me a chance to talk to you. Am please now I have someone who have my same idea and agree with me.

These words and few thoughts you used are painted in truth, experience and reflective. I especially love how you started it and how you ended the write up. Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed . Each word you used are true and reflective of my personal encounter with people(both men and women)

This produced a smile on my tired face after a long day. You’re appreciated.

Informative article! These days we are on the eve of International Women Day, so I think your piece is good to talk about women’s rights. I believe to equality and participation of women in all society affairs, from leadership to education, sport, art, social activities, economic management and politic issues, I believe that women should have achieve to all rights in all countries. Good luck and keep up the great job.

1-Feminism is a fact that emerged in Europe from three centuries ago in the works of some philosophers and writers. The fact that gender-based inequality had deprived women of their absolute rights for centuries. The deprivation that already exists in the 21st century, of course, all over the world, though it is less in democratic countries. Therefore, feminist movements, in my opinion, are fully endorsed on the basis of equality between women and men.
2-Absolutely no, because I believe that the freedom of human from the exploitative chains and the liberation of human societies from despotism and dictatorship and the achievement of real freedom and justice depends on the freedom of women and their rights.

I have my own view of feminism and gender equality. First for feminism. When I first married, I knew I could get a job very easily as I was bilingual and it was in demand. But after consideration, I chose to be a stay at home Mom. I knew money would be tight, but I wanted the memories of my children to be of me being a mother who was there when they came home from school. I wanted them to feel safe, be fed the way I thought they should be and be able to depend on me. I stuck to my guns, but it wasn’t easy. So many times I felt like a second class citizen because of that choice. Wherever we went the question always came up ….and what do you do? I’m a stay at home Mom. Silence. I always felt I had to explain my choice. Like Barabra Bush once quoted, “Suddenly women’s lib had made me feel my life had been wasted.” So I have no time for militant females because they do not seem to see women that are like me. I do not believe in abortion. I believe all children have the right to life. I have said that if a woman had to dispose of the her own baby’s body parts after the abortion, that there would be a lot fewer of them. It’s harsh to say that but nothing is more harsh than an abortion.
Men and women are of equal value, not equal strengths. We cannot compare the woman’s physical ability to a man because they will never be equal. But equal in value. Intelligence and determination are individual traits.

Am really sorry for the late response to your comment.
Just be busy all this while.

Thanks for answering the question put before you. Am very pleased by it. Thanks again.

Starting of with the first part of your comment about FEMINISM.

Am happy you took your time and energy in training your children.

I love the quote you gave about Barabra Bush quoted

“””” Suddenly women’s lib had made me feel my life had been wasted “””””””

Going further in your comment.

Thanks for bringing up this matter EQUALITY in your statement as I quote :

“””””” Men and women are of equal value, not equal strengths. “””””‘

I really liked this second part of your comment And it seems we have very similar views on equality! I do not believe men and women should be “forced” to be the same. And I don’t think the fact that we are not the same is a problem but the problem is about understanding on each part of men and women. There are still inequalities, stereotypes and problems in society – many affect women more and some affect men more.

Much of this unfavoured part and placement of women in the society lead to the rise of FEMINISM.

FEMINISM is simply about EQUALITY. That’s it, equality. It’s not a scary thing, its simply about having men and women treated with equal respect, getting equal pay for the same job, having an equal voice in society and having equal freedoms. That’s it. It’s not threatening anyone, just as equal rights should never be dependent on the colour of your skin, your ethnicity, religion or lack of, sexual orientation, cultural background, etc.

It also should never be dependent on your gender. If women are angry about not having equal rights, that is not only understandable but should never be misinterpreted as hatred.

As a wider society, we all have a part to play in ensuring that ALL people have equal rights and equal pay and same fairness.

Reading what you said on your comment touched me as I read through your own contribution on this poem.

You were able to point out each functions of men and women differently. I appreciate your time.

Am able to get two(2) solid points that you made under EQUALITY

1. We cannot compare the woman’s physical ability to a man because they will never be equal.

2. But equal in value. Intelligence and determination are individual traits.

Getting a back up to this points made by you in your contributions.

So that statement you said can be back up by Chimamanda works on feminism.

According to a popular literature book “”” we should all be feminist “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” Men and women are different. We have different hormones and different sexual organs
and different biological abilities—women can have babies, men cannot. Men have more
testosterone and are, in general, physically stronger than women. There are slightly
more women than men in the world—52 percent of the world’s population is female—
but most of the positions of power and prestige are occupied by men. The late Kenyan
Nobel peace laureate Wangari Maathai put it simply and well when she said, the higher
you go, the fewer women there are.
In the US, a man and a
woman are doing the same job, with the same qualifications, and the man is paid more
because he is a man.
So in a literal way, men rule the world. This made sense—a thousand years ago.
Because human beings lived then in a world in which physical strength was the most
important attribute for survival; the physically stronger person was more likely to lead.
And men in general are physically stronger. (There are of course many exceptions.)
Today, we live in a vastly different world. The person more qualified to lead is not the
physically stronger person. It is the more intelligent, the more knowledgeable, the more
creative, more innovative. And there are no hormones for those attributes. A man is as
likely as a woman to be intelligent, innovative, creative. We have evolved. But our
ideas of gender have not evolved very much.Not long ago, I walked into the lobby of one of the best Nigerian hotels, and a guard at
the entrance stopped me and asked me annoying question-what was the name and
room number of the person I was visiting? Did I know this person? Could I prove that I
was a hotel guest by showing him my key card?—because the automatic assumption is
that a Nigerian female walking into a hotel alone is a sex worker. Because a Nigerian
female alone cannot possibly be a guest paying for her own room. A man who walks
into the same hotel is not harassed. The assumption is that he is there for something
legitimate. (Why, by the way, do those hotels not focus on the demand for sex workers
instead of on the ostensible supply?)
In Lagos, I cannot go alone into many reputable clubs and bars. They just don’t let
you in if you are a woman alone. You must be accompanied by a man. And so I have
male friends who arrive at clubs and end up going in with their arms linked with those
of a complete stranger, because that complete stranger, a woman out on her own, had
no choice but to ask for “help” to get into the club

“”””””

It is very wrong but more wrong is to accept others opinions about how women are weak and have NO place in the society.

It’s still truly astonishing and downgrading, the mentality that women should be less than men in any circumstance, be it job position, salaries, etc. May be someday (sooner than later) that both women and men can be respected equally.

If women have to move ahead and get a their own place in society they need to talk about their own rights not the equality. There is no point of view in asking even equality with men because men and women both are different both have their own uniqueness and rights.

There should not be comparison/difference because comparison/difference create conflict.

I know not easy to make man and woman to be equal in all round in the society.

But for me personally, I believe in advocating for gender equality because despite the fact that we are all human, in some areas the treatment women receive varies from men in the society we found ourselves.

Towards the end of your comment I was touched by the part where you said

“””””” Intelligence and determination are individual traits. “”””””

I totally support that statement above for EQUALITY to happen it should be VALUES.

Men & Women both are the beautiful part of the nature and even though here everyone is unique and alone but this is inter-connected.

That VALUES which connects is missing. That is the VALUE of love, respect and care for fellow beings.

Hey, how’s it going?
I want to pass along some very important news that everyone needs to hear!
In December of 2017, Donald Trump made history by recognizing Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. Why is this big news? Because by this the Jewish people of Israel are now able to press forward in bringing about the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible.
Jewish Rabbis have publicly announced that their Messiah will be revealed in the coming years who will be a leader and spiritual guide to all nations, gathering all religions under the worship of one God.
Biblical prophecy tells us that this Jewish Messiah who will take the stage will be the antichrist “who opposes and exalts himself above all that is called God or that is worshiped, so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God” (2 Thessalonians 2:4). For a time he will bring about a false peace, but “Therefore when you see the ‘abomination of desolation,’ spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing in the holy place (Matthew 24:15)…then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be” (Matthew 24:21).
More importantly, the power that runs the world wants to put a RFID microchip in our body making us total slaves to them. This chip matches perfectly with the Mark of the Beast in the Bible, more specifically in Revelation 13:16-18:
“He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.”
Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless society, which we have yet to see, but are heading towards. Otherwise, we could still buy or sell without the mark amongst others if physical money was still currency. This Mark couldn’t be spiritual because the word references two different physical locations. If it was spiritual it would just say in the forehead. RFID microchip implant technology will be the future of a one world cashless society containing digital currency. It will be implanted in the right-hand or the forehead, and we cannot buy or sell without it. Revelation 13:11-18 tells us that a false prophet will arise on the world scene doing miracles before men, deceiving them to receive this Mark. Do not be deceived! We must grow strong in Jesus. AT ALL COSTS, DO NOT TAKE IT!
“Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name” (Revelation 14:9-11).
People have been saying the end is coming for many years, but we needed two key things. One, the Third Temple, and two, the technology for a cashless society to fulfill the prophecy of the Mark of the Beast.
Visit http://WWW.BIBLEFREEDOM.COM to see proof for these things and why the Bible truly is the word of God!
If you haven’t already, it is time to seek God with all your heart. Jesus loves you more than you could imagine. He wants to have a relationship with you and redeem you from your sins. Turn to Him and repent while there is still hope! This is forever…God bless!
“EITHER HUMAN INTELLIGENCE ULTIMATELY OWES ITS ORIGIN TO MINDLESS MATTER OR THERE IS A CREATOR…” – JOHN LENNOX
We all know God exists. Why? Because without Him, we couldn’t prove anything at all. Do we live our lives as if we cannot know anything? No. So why is God necessary? In order to know anything for certain, you would have to know everything, or have revelation from somebody who does. Who is capable of knowing everything? God. So to know anything, you would have to be God, or know God.
A worldview without God cannot account for the uniformity and intelligibility of nature. And why is it that we can even reason that God is the best explanation for this if there is no God? We are given reason to know or reject God, but never to know that He does not exist.
It has been calculated by Roger Penrose that the odds of the initial conditions for the big bang to produce the universe that we see to be a number so big, that we could put a zero on every particle in the universe, and even that would not be enough to use every zero. What are the odds that God created the universe? Odds are no such thing. Who of you would gamble your life on one coin flip?
Is there evidence that the Bible is the truth? Yes. Did you know that the creation accounts listed in the book of Genesis are not only all correct, but are also in the correct chronological order? That the Bible doesn’t say the Earth was formed in six 24-hour days but rather six long but finite periods of time? That the Bible makes 10 times more creation claims than all major “holy” books combined with no contradictions, while these other books have errors in them? The Bible stood alone by concurring with the big bang saying, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth” (Genesis 1:1); and says our universe is expanding, thousands of years before scientists discovered these things. Watch a potential life-changing video on the website listed below with Astronomer(PhD) Hugh Ross explaining all these facts based on published scientific data. He has authored many books, backed even by atheist scientists.
Jesus came to pay a debt that we could not; to be our legal justifier to reconcile us back to a Holy God; only if we are willing to receive Him: “For the wages of sin is death…” (Romans 6:23).
God so loved the world that He gave us His only begotten son, so that whoever believes in Him, through faith, shall not perish, but have everlasting life. Jesus says if we wish to enter into life to keep the commands! The two greatest commands are to love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind; and your neighbor as yourself. All the law hang on these commands. We must be born of and lead by the Holy Spirit, to be called children of God, to inherit the kingdom. If we are willing to humble ourselves in prayer to Jesus, to confess and forsake our sins, He is willing to give the Holy Spirit to those who keep asking of Him; giving us a new heart, leading us into all truth!
Jesus came to free us from the bondage of sin. The everlasting fire was prepared for the devil and his angels due to disobedience to God’s law. If we do the same, what makes us any different than the devil? Jesus says unless we repent, we shall perish. For sin is the transgression of the law. We must walk in the Spirit so we may not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, being hatred, fornication, drunkenness and the like. Whoever practices such things will not inherit the kingdom (Galatians 5:16-26). If we sin, we may come before Jesus to ask for forgiveness (1 John 2:1-2). Evil thoughts are not sins, but rather temptations. It is not until these thoughts conceive and give birth by our own desires that they become sin (James 1:12-15). When we sin, we become in the likeness of the devil’s image, for he who sins is of the devil (1 John 3:8); but if we obey Jesus, in the image of God. For without holiness, we shall not see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14).
The oldest religion in the world is holiness through faith (James 1:27). What religion did Adam and Eve follow before the fall? Jesus, Who became the last Adam, what religion does He follow? Is He not holy? He never told us to follow the rituals and traditions of man but to take up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23). There are many false doctrines being taught leading people astray. This is why we need the Holy Spirit for discernment. Unlike religion, holiness cannot be created. It is given to us from above by the baptism of the Spirit. Jesus is more than a religion; He is about having a personal relationship with the Father. Start by reading the Gospel of Matthew, to hear the words of God, to know His character and commandments. Follow and obey Jesus, for He is the way, the truth, and the life!

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These words are painted in truth, experience and perspective. I especially love how you started it and how you ended the write up. Beautifully written and as I read through again on each line I was amazed . Each word you used are true and reflective of my personal encounter with people .

This produced a smile on my tired face after a long day. You’re appreciated.

1. It’s a really eyeopening poem. It addresses an issue that a lot of feminists have… they begin to develop hatred for men which is wrong.

2. Feminism is a wonderful movement that deserves to gain more support from both men and women. We need to be more accepting and treat women with equal respect. However, feminists often develop into female chauvinists, ending up saying that women are better than men, rather than fighting for equality between the two.

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