It is generally believed that many of those with bipolar disorder also struggle with alcoholism or substance abuse. Researchers, as well as many of those caught in the cycle of addiction, believe the use of these substances is an attempt to alleviate symptoms or to "self-medicate."

Sunday, January 29, 2012

I am really fed up with all the god and religious talk in the AA meeting that I go to. Luckily, I've been a part of an online atheist AA group and found out from a fellow member about SOS (save ourselves) http://www.sossobriety.org/. There aren't as many meetings as AA has; I'll have to drive a little farther until I can maybe start up my own meeting.

If anyone is interested in going to these meetings visit the website and find one in your area. Trying to stay sober should not involve changing your religious beliefs.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I am currently cramming for my RVT (Registered Veterinary Technician) exam that I am taking on Saturday. My mom is taking care of my son for me until tomorrow afternoon so I have no distractions. Blogging is currently my break!

I am really excited about hopefully passing this exam and going back to work. It's been 2 years now since I preformed technician duties by interning at a veterinary emergency hospital and almost 3 years since I was actually employed at a veterinary hospital. Time sure does fly!

Spending time at home with my son and being a home maker has definitely helped me grow into a better person. The difference in my son compared to other kids who have not had the attention he's had is extraordinary. The time has come though, for us both to move on; for him a more children oriented social environment with his peers and for me an outlet that lets me express my talents and love for animals.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Living in California we don't get many rainy days. Even though it is winter time it has been sunny, sunny, sunny; which stinks cuz our mountains have had no snow.

Staying at home with a 2 1/2 year old requires great inventions on a rainy day. Some of these include; jumping from couch cushion to couch cushion pretending they are lily pads, building with different sets of blocks and train sets, and even downloading different games for our wii. I have to invent some physical activities to replace the usual park play he gets, so he'll go down for his nap (that way I can take my nap too).

I am taking my RVT exam on saturday so I've been studying like crazy. Thank goodness my mom is watching my son for me tomorrow night until thursday afternoon; that way I can cram like the old days, pre-child.

It's weird to think that in a couple months our lives are going to change drastically. I will convert from a stay at home mom to a part-time vet technician. My son will start daycare and learn some vital social skills. The best part of the transition is my husband will have to start taking over some house duties. I can't say he does nothing at the current moment, but I do the majority.

I'm excited for the change, but am nervous as well. Change is hard for me. I'll just take it one day at a time!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

For the past several years my husband and I have gone on trips to either Tahoe, Mammoth, or Big Bear to go snowboarding with my cousins. This year we went to Utah. It was a bit of a drive, but it was so worth it. We had an awesome cabin for a much lower price and the lift tickets were a lot less expensive also.

This was our 6th year for our trip and it seems like every year more and more people drink alcohol. The first year it was a smaller group and no one drank, except for my brother who drank by himself (he's fighting with alcoholism also). The second year more people came, but no one drank; no one drank the third year either. It was the fourth year when alcohol was introduced. We were at the grocery store and one of my cousins was talking about a wine she liked and we looked for it. Of course since we got the wine for the girls we had to buy beer for the guys. I was fine with it that year and last year, but this year was different because I do not drink anymore.

Before our trip I was starting to worry that I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation from everyone drinking. What was crazy was when we got to the cabin it was stocked with sparkling cider. When everyone was drinking I poured some sparkling cider into a wine glass and drank that. I was fine and it was a lot easier not drinking than I thought.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

As a woman pointed out to me in my AA meeting, that when my alcoholic or bipolar tendencies act up, I need to just go with the flow.

This really hit home because lately I have been fighting very strongly against many things. As I've been coming out as an alcoholic to people, I have been sharing my atheist beliefs as well. This has caused much more of a stir in my strong christian family/ friends network, than my alcoholism. So much that I felt on the defensive at once and decided to fight back. I wasn't going to let anyone get the best of me and my beliefs!

Well now I've realized that not only was this causing pain to everyone I cared about, it was causing turmoil in myself. I know what I believe and I know what my family believes, but I don't need to "convert" them so to speak. I felt that I needed to open their eyes by stating facts that show the bible and christian teachings were bogus. Of course all this did was get them to retort with their own reasons they believe the way they do. No matter what I said or did, it wasn't going to change how they believed; just like no matter what they say or do, it won't change how I believe.

It is going to be rough, but I am going to keep my strong opinions to myself unless asked. At least, I can state them here in my blog in case I really feel the need! ;-)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Every time I talk about being an agnostic/atheist I feel guilty as if I am doing something wrong...that does not seem fair. The way religion has incorporated itself into our lives is destructive in nature. Most people in this country are so focused on christianity as the true belief they look down upon those who disagree. What's hard is most of my family and friends feel that way also.

I was talking to a long time friend of mine the other night and decided to tell her a little about my beliefs. I've been agnostic for several years, but had never told her. As soon as I stated, "I don't know if I've told you or not, but I am agnostic", her voice changed to a defensive tone and she said,"what's that?" I tried explaining to her that I don't worship any gods and do not believe there is enough proof that they exist and there is more proof that they do not. When I finished there was just silence with a hint of disapproval. Needless to say I steered clear of that subject after that.

Also, when I post any agnostic/atheist statement on Facebook, it gets attacked by my mother and my best friends mother right away. They don't even really read the post or understand what I am trying to say. It's as if they look at it blindly just like they look at their religious beliefs and then comment a retort involving but my god is a loving god and blah blah blah.

I'm tired of the slanted view against atheists and people who don't acknowledge statements that go against their beliefs. Whenever I say or post something, I read and listen to the responses with an open mind. I am just asking for the same in return!