To
many people the restoration of their religious faith means
much more than the restoration of physical health, but both
came to me through reading the Christian Science textbook,
"Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" by Mrs.
Eddy. I had been brought up in the church of my forefathers
and dearly loved it. When I reached mature years, however,
one religious belief after another had to be abandoned,
until at the close of the year 1909 I found myself, although
still a communicant of the church, with no hope and without
God in the world. How wistfully I looked back upon the time
when it had been possible for me to accept the creeds and
dogmas which I had been taught, no one but myself knew, or
how gladly I would have gone back to them, had that been
possible. I was ill in mind and body, and finally reached
the point where I did not care what happened to
me.

For
some weeks previous to this a friend in Chicago, whom I had
not seen for a number of years, had been writing to me
telling of the illumination and joy which Christian Science
had brought into her life, and lovingly begging me to study
it. In reply I said, with the flippancy of ignorance, that
while I thought there was a great deal that was beautiful in
the philosophy of Christian Science, I could not believe in
the physical healing. In return she sent me a list of
references to New Testament healings, but I tossed the paper
aside and did not look up one of them, thinking that I
already knew the Bible well. About this time a neighbor
brought us a copy of Science and Health, but the book lay on
the library table unopened for a week or more. Then one day
it occurred to me that I must return it and that it was very
discourteous to do so without even having glanced over it;
so I took up the book and began to read here and there. If
anyone had asked me if what I had read had made any
impression on me I should have said, "No."

One
Sunday afternoon soon afterwards I lay down hoping to get
some sleep, for I was troubled with sleeplessness and had
passed a wretched night. I did not sleep, but as I lay there
the thought came to me, "If there is a God at all, why
should not one trust Him for everything  health for
one's body as well as anything else? I could not answer the
question, so left it unanswered, and I see now that this was
"the thin end of the wedge." Later that day some friends
dropped in to see us, and as the evening advanced I became
more and more impressed with the fact that something had
happened to me. It was as if the very outer edge of the pall
that seemed to hang over me was lifted a hair's breadth, and
faint and far-off, too dim as yet to be even called light, I
discerned something. It did not occur to me at first to
connect this with what I had been reading in Science and
Health or with the question that had come to me in the
afternoon; and when this thought did occur to me, I broke in
on a musical discussion, to which I had not been listening,
by saying, "I believe there's something in Christian
Science!" There was complete silence in the room for some
minutes, and when conversation was resumed it was with a
decided sense of strain. Afterwards one of our guests took
me aside and advised me not to have anything to do with
Christian Science, but no power on earth could have held me
back then. I had to find out if this strange, new thing that
had come to me had anything to do with that book.

The
next day I began to read Science and Health in a very
different manner from that in which I had taken it up
before. I commenced at the chapter on Prayer, and before it
was finished the light had come. I had touched the hem of
the "seamless robe" (Message for 1901, p. 26)  I had
found God. All that I thought I had lost was restored to me
fourfold; all that I had loved in my former church was here,
only fuller, clearer, brighter. Oh, the winsomeness, the
beauty, the compelling attraction of the Christ-idea as it
dawned upon my enraptured vision! I knew how James and John
felt that day by the Sea of Galilee when the Master spoke to
them and they arose and left all and followed him. I thanked
God as never before for the work of the great Way-shower,
Christ Jesus, for now for the first time I understood his
mission. I thanked Him for every saint and martyr who had
held to the light they had and so made the day of full
revelation possible; and I thanked Him with all my heart for
the one who had brought the light again to this age. What
wonder that with such an inflooding of truth sleeplessness
vanished? The sweet sleep that came to me night after night
was like that of which David spoke when he said, "I laid me
down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me." A
throat trouble from which I had suffered for years, which
had defied the skill of one of the best specialists in the
country, and which had necessitated several operations; also
left me, together with other ills.

Since
then I have needed sometimes to remember the Master's words,
"No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking
back, is fit for the kingdom of God," for at times the
ploughing has seemed arduous; but every struggle has meant
growth and the joy of overcoming. The light glimpsed on that
Sunday evening in January, 1910, has grown brighter and more
radiant, and I know that, in the words of the wise man, it
will shine "more and more unto the perfect day."