Post subject: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what?

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:59 pm

Not NOT A Furry

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:24 pmPosts: 512Location: Ithaca, NY

I have been volunteering at my local SPCA for the past year. I have grown quite fond of 2 women who volunteer the same shift as me. I'm inviting them to my house next week for vegan chili after our shift is over. I've only recently come out of the "vegan" closet to them, as food is typically not our focus point in conversations at the shelter. I don't suspect either of them are vegan or even vegetarian.

They offered to bring stuff to the dinner party (even though I told them it was unnecessary). One offered to bring wine and asked what I liked. I told her my favorite type. The other chimed in she would bring Christmas cookies and left it at that. When I left, I asked if either one of them had allergies to soy or wheat as there may be some of that in my chili (i.e. soy crumbles or wheat bulgur), thus reminding them that I am vegan. They both denied any allergies and thanked me for my thoughtfulness.

I'm suspecting the cookies brought over won't be vegan, but I was afraid to ask or demand that they be vegan. My husband is omni and at the very least the 3 of them would/could probably eat them. I don't want to seem like I'm telling anyone what ingredients to use, but also don't want to get all vegan-police on them if I have to inquire about them once they get to my house. I'm tempted just to say that I'm full after dinner or have my own vegan desserts already prepared and decline the cookies.

What to do PPK? I won't see these ladies again until the day of our planned dinner party. I could email before then, but don't want to seem ungrateful or overly picky either. Help!

Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:04 pm

No-pants hermit 4 lyfe

Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2010 10:22 amPosts: 3166Location: BKLN

i would let them bring their cookies if they want to bring cookies. i mean, i would have first tried to convince them that they didn't need to bring anything, like you did, but i wouldn't make a thing out of it. it's not like they're going to contaminate other food. and i would have other (vegan) desserts available. you aren't obligated to eat food that a guest brings.

_________________"rise from the ashes of douchebaggery like a fancy vegan phoenix" - amandabear"I'm pretty sure the moral of this story is: fork pants." - cq

Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:09 pm

Vegan Since Before There Were Vegetables

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 8:43 pmPosts: 11132Location: Astoria, NY

what i've done in the past in almost the same situation is emailed the person and said something like "thank you so much for offering to bring cookies! i have a ton of awesome vegan recipes if you'd like one! can't wait till next week! (or whatever)"

_________________I am not a troll. I am TELLING YOU THE ******GOD'S TRUTH****** AND YOU JUST DON'T WANT THE HEAR IT DO YOU?

Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:25 pm

Flat Chesty McNoBoobs

Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:41 amPosts: 7959Location: Portland

IJDI's idea is a good one.

I might say something like "let me know if you'd like some sure-fire vegan recipes. I know vegan baking can be a bit disorienting at first!"

The key is to keep it upbeat and unabashed. That way, even if things get a bit awkward, you can smile and get through it in a friendly way.

_________________If you spit on my food I will blow your forking head off, you filthy shitdog. - MumblesDon't you know that vegan meat is the gateway drug to chicken addiction? Because GMO and trans-fats. - kaerlighed

Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 10:30 pm

Semen Strong

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:10 pmPosts: 19776Location: Cliffbar NJ

I'd use IDJI's suggestion as well.

Given that the person would be baking cookies to thank you for a nice dinner, it might be more awkward for her to make the cookies and have you not eat them than to offer a recipe that you could share in ahead of time. If you offer vegan recipes she can still say "you know, I'm going to make non-vegan cookies because that is what I'm familiar with," but you're not risking surprising her if you don't eat them.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:53 pm

Has it on Blue Vinyl

Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:40 pmPosts: 2145

You could also email her and say that you just decided to make this fantastic dessert, and you're excited about it, and would she mind terribly bringing a green salad instead? And say if it's not convenient, not to worry, because there will be other vegetables?

Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:58 pm

Queen Bitch of Self-Righteous Veganville

Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2010 2:21 pmPosts: 11094Location: Illinoize

jordanpattern wrote:

IJDI's idea is a good one.

I might say something like "let me know if you'd like some sure-fire vegan recipes. I know vegan baking can be a bit disorienting at first!"

I would leave out the part about vegan baking being disorienting, because it goes from hinting to assuming, and some people get defensive reeeeeeally easy.

I am a kitten, so i'd have vegan cookies ready for myself just in case. If she does make vegan cookies, you can trade! If not, oh well, and hopefully she'll get the idea next time (and if not, i'd probably stop inviting her over).

_________________"The Tree is His Penis"

The tree is his penis // it's very exciting // when held up to his mouth // the lights are all lighting // his eyes start a-bulging // in unbridled glee // the tree is his penis // its beauty, effulgent -amandabear

Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:05 am

Dying from Nooch Lung

Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 3:25 pmPosts: 3204Location: Sacramento

I would be sad if I brought cookies for someone who couldn't eat them for whatever reason. I'd want to know ahead of time about dietary restrictions. So, I think you should send an email, and offering to provide vegan recipes is a great idea. She may not even make the connection that the cookies she's planning to bring aren't vegan-friendly.

Post subject: Re: Dinner party & a guest offers to bring cookies. Now what

Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:21 am

Hoards Peppermint Jo-Jos

Joined: Fri Oct 29, 2010 9:06 pmPosts: 809

TuxedoCat wrote:

I don't want to seem like I'm telling anyone what ingredients to use, but also don't want to get all vegan-police on them if I have to inquire about them once they get to my house. I'm tempted just to say that I'm full after dinner or have my own vegan desserts already prepared and decline the cookies.

in this situation I usually say something like, "I don't eat dairy or eggs, should I have these?". No one could take offense, it would be similar to asking "I have a nut allergy, can I eat these?". This way you don't have to assume that they are not vegan.