Original ad:
looking for a jeep comanche. must be running and in good condition. can pay up to $500. offers for other trucks will be ignored.

From Mike Partlow to *********@*********.org:

Hey, I couldn't help but notice your ad looking for a Comanche. I don't have one, but seeing as it is such a rare car I figured I'd help you out and put you in touch with a friend of mine who is selling his. Would you like his contact information?

Mike

From Joel ******* to Mike Partlow:

yeah that would be great thanks

From Mike Partlow to Joel *******:

Okay, it is ***********@gmail.com. Just tell him Mike sent ya.

Mike

From Joel ******* to Mike Partlow:

ok thanks

From Joel ******* to Leo D:

hey there your friend mike told me that you were interested in selling your jeep comanche?

From Leo D to Joel *******:

Ugh...freaking Mike. I'm sorry. Mike is an idiot. I told him that I knew a guy selling a Comanche. I'm not selling one. If you want I can have that guy contact you. I'll give his email address: *******@yahoo.com

Sorry about that.

Leo

From Joel ******* to Leo D:

okay...

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

hey your friend leo told me you were selling a comanche?

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Ah, Leo! I haven't talked to him in forever! How's he doing?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

i dunno. i just met him online

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Do me a favor, will ya? Tell Leo that Chris asked how he's doing?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

are you selling a jeep comanche?

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

What did Leo say?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

he said he is good

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Great! Anyway, I'm not selling the Comanche, my brother is. Can I give him your email address so he can get in touch with you? His name is Randy.

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

oh god dammit. fine give him my email

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Will do!

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Hey, I just talked to Leo. He said you didn't tell him I asked how he was doing! Why did you lie to me?

From Joel ******* to Chris Vandrell:

look i dont give a FUCK man i just want to buy a fuckin comanche and you keep dicking me around. who gives a fuck how hes doing if you were talking to him then why the fuck didnt you just fucking ask him? for christ's sake just fucking put me through to the guy selling the comanche already

From Chris Vandrell to Joel *******:

Calm down, son. No need to get your panties in a bunch. I just got off the phone with Randy and he is going to email you shortly.

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Hello! Is this Joe?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

no my name is joel

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Oh, my mistake. I must have misheard Chris. I couldn't really hear him over the phone. He is using one of those new "smart phones" but personally I think they sound terrible. You won't find me using one of those, no sir. My good-ol-fashioned land line phone will do me just fine. Everyone always tells me I sound very clear on my phone, they ask me "Randy, how do you sound so crisp and clear on your phone?" and I tell them "I'm using a land line! If you want to sound clear, take your cell phone and throw it in the trash!" This new technology is a load of garbage if you ask me. You don't use a cell phone, do ya Joe? I wouldn't if I were you. Anyway, I just got off the phone with Chris. He tells me you are interested in buying my Jeep Cherokee?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

no a jeep COMANCHE. please tell me you have a comanche not a fuckign cherokee

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Ah, the Jeep Comanche! A fine vehicle. Mine was a 1994, had a lot of good times in that truck. Once I drove that truck all the way to Newark! Couldn't believe it made it, but that truck was one tough son-of-a-bitch. It was a long trip but I just popped in my Johnny Cash cassette tapes and I was set for the whole ride. Do you listen to Johnny Cash? Great man, he was. Anyway, the Comanche. I was selling that, yes. Unfortunately, I sold it to a guy about a month ago. Real nice guy who bought it, I'm trying to remember his name. I remember thinking it was Mike but it wasn't Mike. It was something foreign...I'm leaning towards "Mikel."

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

i dont give a fuck what his name is asshole. what the FUCK you fucking idiots just wasted my fucking time for nothing

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Boy, Chris was right when he said you were an angry lad. Relax, I've got some good news for you. Mikel loved the Comanche, but he has to move far away and is unable to take the truck with him. Therefore he is trying to sell the truck. He tried to sell it back to me for 500 bucks, but I told him "Mikel, why in the hell would I need the Comanche? I just bought a new F150!" You should see my F150, it is really nice. Perfect for hauling my ATVs to Chris's house. Chris has a lot of property up in Hagerstown and we love to go offroading there with his pal Leo. Leo sure is a crazy son-of-a-bitch! Speaking of Leo, what's this I hear about you lying to Chris about asking Leo how he's doing? Why would you do that?

From Joel ******* to Randy Vandrell:

ENOUGH WITH THE RANTS JUST SHUT UP!!!!! HOLY SHIT WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!? I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF YOUR SHIT ASS STORIES JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING GUY WHO IS SELLING THE COMANCHE!!! GOT THAT? NOT HIS SON, NOT HIS FUCKING BROTHER, JUST THE GUY WITH THE TRUCK. QUIT WASTING MY FUCKING TIME

From Randy Vandrell to Joel *******:

Jeez, you sure are an angry fella! Don't like to talk much, do ya? I understand you're just trying to buy a truck. You're all business, I respect that. You're going to want to email Mikel. I am confident he is still trying to sell the truck. You'll love it, its a real beaut. Mikel's email address is ***********@hotmail.com

From Joel ******* to Mikk Sisask:

hey some jackass named randy told me he sold you a jeep comanche and you are looking to sell it?

Original ad:
I would like to buy your broken/non-working wide screen TV even if it is not repairable. Thanks, DanFrom Mike Anderson to ***@***.org

Dan,

My roommate has a widescreen TV, but it is working. I don't like him that much though, so I would be willing to break it and sell it to you for $100. What should I do to break it? I was thinking I should just hit the screen with a bat. Let me know.

>
> Dear David
>
> This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership
> expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we
> would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by
> offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look
> forward to seeing you again soon.
>
> All the best, Jeff Peters
>
>
> From: David Thorne
> Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
> To: Jeff Peters
> Subject: Re: Membership Renewal
>
> Dear Jeff,
>
> Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to
> reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but
> I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have
> estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of
> $420.00 - Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew
> my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First
> sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the
> price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.
>
> Regards, David.
>
>
>
> From: Jeff Peters
> Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
> To: David Thorne
> Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
>
> Hello David
>
> How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees
> are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing
> member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the
> six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are
> not Fitness First so do not have those bags.
>
> Cheers, Jeff
>
>
> From: David Thorne
> Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
> To: Jeff Peters
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
>
> Dear Jeff
>
> Do I get free shipping with that?
>
> Regards, David.
>
>
>
> From: Jeff Peters
> Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
> To: David Thorne
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
>
> Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees
> for six months.
>
>
> From: David Thorne
> Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
> To: Jeff Peters
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
>
> Dear Jeff
>
> By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to
> being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten
> year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very
> tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel
> bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come
> over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and
> limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I
> originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending
> every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer
> me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen
> and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was,
> quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the
> fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me
> to 'lift this', ''push that' dulled my initial enthusiasm of
> becoming muscular and I stopped attending.
>
> Regards, David.
>
>
>
> From: Jeff Peters
> Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
> To: David Thorne
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
>
> Hello David
>
> Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you
> steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this.
> Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found
> him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his
> job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at
> joining instead.
>
> Cheers, Jeff
>
>
> From: David Thorne
> Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
> To: Jeff Peters
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
>
> Dear Jeff
>
> Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I
> assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers
> means that there is an over supply of these buffed but
> essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy
> in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected
> sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we
> would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our
> money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view
> gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community
> service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps
> and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.
>
> Regards, David.
>
>
>
> From: Jeff Peters
> Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
> To: David Thorne
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal
> Due
>
> Go f$*k yourself.
>
>
>
> From: David Thorne
> Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
> To: Jeff Peters
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal
> Due
>
> Dear Jeff
>
> I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute
> you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for
> money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research
> however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side
> effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction
> in the size of your p#$%, this gives you understandable cause
> to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains
> carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself
> and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$%
> was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on
> those around me as well. There are probably support groups or
> websites that could help you manage your problem more
> effectively and picture based books available on the subject
> for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like
> to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire
> to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight
> forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling
> each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that
> you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to
> Hollywood so this may be worth a try.
>
> Regards, David.
>
>
>
> From: Jeff Peters
> Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
> To: David Thorne
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership
> Renewal Due
>
> DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN
>
>
>
> From: David Thorne
> Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
> To: Jeff Peters
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership
> Renewal Due
>
> Ok.
>
>
>
> From: Jeff Peters
> Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
> To: David Thorne
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
> Membership Renewal Due
>
> Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me
> again?
>
>
>
> From: David Thorne
> Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
> To: Jeff Peters
> Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
> Membership Renewal Due
>
> The middle one.