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9.13.2015

ACLU Hopes Kim Davis Steps In Legal Bear Trap Upon Returning to Work

ROWAN COUNTY, KENTUCKY (The Nil Admirari) - The American Civil Liberties Union held a press conference today to express its hope Kim Davis would unlawfully fire one of her deputy clerks for failing an unconstitutional religious test, doing his job, and not violating the law when Davis returned to work on Monday. The civil rights organization explained it would jump at the chance to show everyone "a real religious liberty lawsuit" by defending a deputy clerk terminated by Davis for following the law - as opposed to Davis' religious beliefs - and issuing same-sex marriage licenses.

"We'll be watching Kim Davis very closely when she returns to work this week. The 'religious liberty' argument made by her and other civically-ignorant people, like her lawyer, is completely bogus. The First Amendment does not protect individuals who place their religious beliefs above the law and sworn responsibilities as government agents," stated ACLU Spokesman Christian Smash.

Screen shot of Kim Davi's lawyer Mathew Staver.

Smash continued, "It does, however, protect Americans from discrimination and being fired because of their religious beliefs, especially if they are doing their job and following the law. If Davis fires one of her deputy clerks for following the law and not abiding by her religious beliefs the ACLU will show her and Rowan County what a real religious liberty lawsuit looks like."

"We have nearly 100 full-time lawyers, and every one of them can easily best Davis' lawyer Mathew Staver. Mr. Staver routinely takes on high-profile cases with no legal merit so he can fleece sympathetic far-right Christians and continue to fund his equally extreme Liberty Counsel law firm," said Smash.

Rowan County, Kentucky Deputy Clerk Brian Mason seemed to be the most likely to be fired by Davis after announcing last week he would issue marriage licenses to eligible same-sex and opposite-sex couples even if Davis violated the law - again - and ordered him not to do so.