Honestly this was one of the most insane and downright uncomfortable positions you had ever been placed in! Seriously, doesn’t this person realize that this is considered kidnapping and that they can (and knowing you, will) get arrested by the LAPD?

But that’s beside the point. The point is that this man’s (or possibly a woman’s) shoulder is incredibly thin and pointy and you have the unfortunate pleasure of having the thing stick into your stomach. How fun! Thus the question comes into effect, how are you going to explain to your professors tomorrow that you’re late to class because you were momentarily (well at least you hope it will be momentarily) kidnapped?

If you were telling that story to yourself, you wouldn’t even believe yourself if it weren’t for the fact that you are living that story. Good thing is that it’s still about 6 o’clock at night so you still have time to make your get away. How on earth did this happen anyway?

~*~*~

Sugar, that’s the source of a lot troubles. Whether it be diabetes, obesity, or your current predicament of a bad never ending craving (*cough* addiction *cough*), sugar could definitely be considered dangerous and a source of many problems. Despite this, all you seemed to eat was packed full of the hell sent heavenly tasting stuff. Well at least you didn’t gain weight. What was it that you were always told? It was something like “If you use your head, you won’t get fat even if you eat sweets.”

You smiled at the memory; it’s been a long time since you were told that, and it honestly explained why you could eat nothing but sweets (and strawberries, but most of the time you have covered them in chocolate so really it’s not an exception to your addiction craving) and still not gain weight. But that’s not why we’re talking about sugar right now. We’re talking about sugar because your brain is starting to run down from both its lack of sugar and lack of sleep, thus why you find yourself in the deepest bowels of the candy store.

You weren’t exactly a fan of the store itself since it seemed that the store owner’s favourite colour was pink (the walls and decorations stood testament to that); rather, it was its contents that made you one extremely happy girl. There where shelves upon shelves of different candies, chocolates, and caffeinated goods. In the corner there was a section that was painted and decorated in a lime green, quite a contrast to the different shades of pink that occupy the rest of the store; it was this corner that you chose to stay well away from since this was the section for vegans (as in no wheat, milk and more importantly, fake sugar!) and why people would not eat that you had no clue.

Even so, this store had provided you a means of survival; sweets to not only keep you awake through sleepless nights, but to also keep your brain active and alert. It payed off anyways, for you were considered one of the brightest kids in the nation. Honestly you didn’t care; all you wanted to do was to find and outsmart your brother’s killer.

Kira! That bastard had killed off the only two people that were held in your heart. How can someone like him claim to be justice when he can take the lives of two perfectly innocent people? In trying to find Kira you're probably digging your own grave; but that's the least of your worries. What worries you is on whether to buy the strawberry fudge or the cheesecake? Oh the complexities of life! No matter, you'll just get both.

With that settled, you make your way back to your apartment. You must have lost track of the time since the sun was already setting. The sky's magnificence made you stop in the middle of the sidewalk to admire the beauty. The many hues of orange and yellow having their silent war with the blues and purples, naturally the latter of the two were winning. The sight sent you into such awe that you had failed to notice what was going on in the alleyway next to you; well that was until a gun had gone off.

The loud bang that echoed through the deserted street that you currently occupied sent you out of your daydream and crashing down to the monstrosity called “reality.” Since that was a gunshot, there obviously had to be someone pulling the trigger, since guns acting of their own accord was just plain ridiculous! So turning to your left and peering down the alleyway you were able to spy out two men and a woman/man thing (hey it’s dark out and you can’t see their face!). Each of them were facing away from you, otherwise they probably wouldn’t have pulled the trigger knowing there was a witness. They were all in casual clothes, which left them open for being anything. However, the lack of any sort of identification badge certainly ruled out government employees. No these men definitely had to be of L.A.’s underworld. What then, Druggies? No they had more tact than to just shoot at someone in an alleyway. Whatever the case, these men were certainly in a dangerous profession with Kira around.

Curious, you put down the bag full of sweets and proceeded to silently walk up to the trio. Upon getting closer, you could see a man was slumped up against the wall, clutching his heavily bleeding chest. His breathing was haggard; he had less than a minute at best. You casually stood next to the three men (who amazingly enough still hadn’t noticed you) and proceeded to listen in on what was being said.

“...Why d-d’you...” This was the man who was shot. Given his position we’ll just call him Slumpy. “If you thought I wouldn’t notice you leaking information then you really are an idiot.” This one came from the man/woman thing. Since he/she sports a blonde wig-like bob hair cut, we shall call them Blondie. Hey! Whoever said you had to be good at this naming thing? But anyways, what Blondie said sounded like it was from a movie. All he/she needed would be some kind of self proclamation along the lines of “For I am (insert their real name here), Worldwide genius!” Hooray for really cheap and old movies!

“...What y-you’re doing i-is... wrong. H-h-hail Kira!!!” With that Slumpy died. This is seriously like a cheap movie, really stupid last words included.

So it's at this time that the men turn around and spot you. This is going to be fun ^^

“What the...” This was from the man who already had his gun out. Clearly he shot Slumpy so he shall be called Shots. Your reaction to his unfinished question is immediate and natural, almost like you have been in this situation before.

...Although knowing your history, you probably have.

“Please, just continue on as if I’m not here.” The two men stare at you with raised eyebrows while Blondie just takes a large bite out of their chocolate block while asking the silent questions “who are you” and “what are you doing here.” But those questions are to be expected when a random girl just suddenly appears after you have just shot someone.

Without any instructions, Shots and the other guy (to save time we’re just going to keep calling him “Other Guy”) lunged at you. They clearly have a basic knowledge of martial arts, but that didn’t mean they’re good. At least it’s a hand on fight and not a shoot out, because then you would be screwed. Before the two could grab you however, you jumped down and supported your body weight onto one hand and a bent leg while you outstretched the other leg. In this position you spun and took out both Shots and Other Guy. Once again, you’re so happy this wasn’t a shoot out.

Although the fact that these guys do have a little (very little, as in so tiny and miniscule that a mouse could easily overlook it) knowledge of martial arts means that they would have been trained or prepped for this kind of situation. What could they be then? Mafia! And with these awesome findings, you proceed to not only show your awesome skill, but explain how these guys suck.

“You mafia men kind of suck at this, and you’re being really rude attacking a poor defenceless girl like that.”

You try to put on a sweet and innocent grin, only to fail miserably so that it looked more like an evil mastermind grin. This didn’t seem to have taken anyone’s notice, especially from Shots and Other Guy since they were in the middle of picking themselves up off the ground. Blondie, however, seems to be intrigued by your statement.

“What makes you think we’re mafia?” Well you thought that he/she was going to dispute the fact that you said you were defenceless… oh well what ever works for him/her.

“Well none of you are wearing a badge, so obviously you’re not government employed; you’re not druggie goons since they have more tact than to kill someone in an alleyway in what was broad daylight (although it’s dark now so I guess it doesn’t really matter), and judging by the way these two lunged at me I would say that they have a miniscule knowledge of martial arts. Assuming that it’s required for all of you to have this knowledge to stay in business, I’m left with the mafia. I must add that you’re technique was totally sloppy. I was able to take you down with what can be a very basic move.”

After a very long winded explanation, you just continued to stand there. Shots and Other Guy were still on the ground, Shots holding his arm (since he landed on it) and Other Guy… well he wasn’t really down there for any particular reason, he looked alright from your point of view. Anyway they were still on the ground, staring at you like you had turned blue and started speaking Na’vi.

Blondie on the other hand stared at you in contemplation. Really you preferred the freak stares since you get those all the time, Blondie’s stare was beginning to scare you.

“I think you two can go back, I’ll handle her.” Well… you weren’t expecting that. Does that mean this guy/girl doesn’t see you as a threat!? You certainly hope not since you just single handily (footily?) took down both of his men. Said men begrudgingly got up from their spots on the ground and proceeded to walk off. Judging by the way that Shots rolled his eyes, you could tell that they didn’t really like following Blondie’s orders. That would mean Blondie isn’t in charge because a revolt would already have been performed by now. No, it had to be orders from higher up.

“So what makes you so important huh? Why have those guys been ordered to follow you?” Your question is only met with another contemplative stare. This guy/girl (judging by the voice, you’re stating to lean towards guy) was beginning to freak you out just a bit. Is he going to rape you? You should probably start running away now. Yes that sounds good, in three two-

“So you’re clever yes?” Or maybe not… In all your insightful knowledge you certainly were not expecting that. What do you answer to that huh? ‘The last test I took in high school said that I came first in the nation [1] does that count?’ Yeah because that doesn’t sound cocky at all!

Yeah I guess.” *facepalm* why couldn’t you answer sarcastically like you have been for the past 5 minutes? Oh well, now it’s time to decipher why this guy would be asking you such a question within 5 seconds. Let’s see… mafia use strategic planning and precision (most of the time) in their actions. That planning requires a lot of thought and reasoning. Oh god does this guy want your brain and intellect to make mafia plans? Oh hell no! The last thing your brother would have wanted is for you to join the mafia. Not bad, only 3 seconds.

You’re all prepared to run away; in fact you legs were bent in that split second before performing the action. However, Blondie had picked you up and hurled you over his shoulder before you could get away.

~*~*~

So basically that was how you ended up on this guy’s (you think) shoulder; really, it kind of hurts

“Excuse me! Do you not realize how uncomfortable this is? Your shoulder is as thin as a stick and it’s sticking into my stomach. Put me down now!” God this guy is infuriating!“Just shut up because I could just as easily have shot you back there.” You were beyond angry now. Who does this guy think he is, kidnapping an (not so) innocent girl? Before you could voice this however, he proceeded to drop you onto something; looking down, it turned out to be a motorcycle. Blondie then got on the drivers end… oh this is going to turn out great. Before he could start the bike and zoom off, you were able to (awkwardly) swing you leg over and sit properly. With that, Blondie zoomed off.

Over the roar of the wind, you proceeded to yell. “Listen Blondie, where are you taking me?” Blondie just raised an eyebrow at the nickname; if you were facing him you would actually be able to see this and would no doubt be sick of the action by now.

“Listen girl, it’s not Blondie! If you must call me by anything, call me Mello.” Despite the wind rushing in your ears, you could hear the attitude in his voice. Clearly he’s been called Blondie before and is growing sick of it. “So what do I call you?” Well since he has obviously given you an alias, why not return the favour? You brother always told you to anyway. Let’s see, what did he call you again? Oh that’s right.

“Lil, you can call me Lil.” It’s been a long time since using this particular alias, oh how it brought back memories. Mello on the other hand, didn’t seem to realize it was an alias, or he did and just didn’t care. “So… is that short for Lilly or Lillian or something?” Well actually it was short for Little One, but why should he need to know that?

“Something along those lines…Hey you didn’t answer my question, where are you taking me?” He didn’t answer (again, rude one isn’t he), instead he proceeds to take something out of his pants pocket (which is quite the feat considering he is wearing tight leather pants and is sitting on a moving motorcycle) and hands it to you.

“Put this on.” Man this guy’s demanding. Does he really expect you to blindfold yourself? (Never mind the fact that it would be very scary to do so on a moving motorcycle) “Honestly, I just met you after you shot someone and you expect me to blindfold myself? You’re a special one aren’t you?” Oh you were obviously pissing him off, and he knew that you knew this. But the fact that you knew that he knew that you knew isn’t helping the fact that he is getting pissed. “Look unless you want a bullet in your leg I suggest you shut up and just put the damn thing on.”“But-”“Put. The. Blindfold. On.” Okay so maybe he was beyond “getting” pissed. And as much as you were enjoying this, a severely bleeding thigh does not sound fun, thus the blindfold goes on… is it supposed to be this hard and scary to put on a blindfold on a MOVING BIKE!? Thus it has become increasingly obvious that Mello isn’t the most considerate person in the world.

So with you being unable to see, and still feeling and hearing everything rush past you at a hundred miles per hour, you found yourself clinging tightly to the nearest solid object out of fear. Unfortunately, this ends up being Mello… hey you can feel his muscles through that leather shirt of his. (Who wears that much leather anyway?) Mello on the other hand smirked at this; to him this must be your first time on a cycle, but he is way off the mark (it’s only your first time on a bike blindfolded).

In no time at all you arrive at the destination, as to which where it is totally eludes you.

“Follow me.” His voice came out like a snarl… wait… how are you expected to follow him blindfolded?“Hate to break it to you genius, but I’m blindfolded, as in can’t see. How am I going to follow you?” If you weren’t blindfolded, you would very probably see numerous veins popping up over his head. Instead of saying anything though, he grabbed your hand and proceeded to walk… in a seemingly random direction. In the distance you could hear voices, all male, but Shots and Other Guy were not audibly present. When the voices quite suddenly became louder, it was clear that you just entered their room; and judging by the sudden silence, they’re all staring at the two of you. The fact that Mello had let go of your hand and had stopped in what seems to be the middle of the room isn’t helping your rising discomfort.

“Who’s the chick?” Well isn’t he the polite one!“This is Lil; she seems to be intelligent so it would prove beneficial for her to help us.” Oh really now… Mello was certainly beginning to piss you off!

“Listen Mello, you just essentially kidnapped me! So if you think I’m going to help you in whatever sick plans for the future you may have then-” You were cut short when you felt the barrel of a gun rest on your neck. You might not know how to use a gun but you certainly know what they feel like.

“Okay I’ll help you… can I take this blindfold off yet?” It’s a fair question since it was almost like you are talking to mid-air. Surely he could see that.

“Hn” “I’ll take that as a yes.” And without further ado, you’re no longer seeing black. Instead what you could see is what appeared to be a lounge with numerous zebra print couches with numerous guys and the single girl (*cough* slut *cough*) and are all staring at you. Now this doesn’t make you feel awkward at all! Oh wait… Mello still has a gun at your neck. But you said you would help him…

“Mels, could you please remove the gun from my neck?” In an attempt at looking cute, you tried your best pout. Only to fail in the most epic of fails. Hey, if you wanted you could really act, but that would be showing them some of your hand. But whatever the case he then removes the gun. Oh wait, is that a scowl?

"Don't call me Mels!" Why yes that is a scowl! And it proceeds to grow bigger when someone starts laughing.

“I like the girl; she can certainly piss you off Mels.” Hey! That’s your nickname for him! As in copyright Lil, or Rue or whatever you want to be called! Despite the fact that this muscled man (what the hell, he’s shirtless) is practically screaming ‘I’m the leader’, Mello looked ready to shoot him, as do you. “Show her to the spare room across from yours, ,i>Mels.” …Need you mentally repeat yourself? But before you could comment on how rude it was to steal the ideas of other people, you felt your hands being dragged off in some (not so) random direction.

Since Mello’s grip was incredibly tight, he was once again beyond the point of ‘getting’ pissed. In fact, if this were anything like that show kids are watching these days; he would probably be entering rage mode. Although, if life really was like that, you would no doubt have pulled of some incredible moves that involve making hundreds of copies of yourself. What was that show again? Nabu… Nazu… Naru… Oh stuff it, kid in an orange jump suit.

Mello arrived at a door and practically pushed it off its hinges. Geez, anger issues much?“Get in there and sleep!” Wow someone is angry. Maybe it wouldn’t be a good time to explain that you don’t sleep. That in fact you run on… sugar… What happened to the bag of sweets you just bought? Crap! That was supposed to last you another 2 weeks! What are you supposed to… do... oh it’s so obvious!

“Mello, since you kidnapped me, I left behind some very important groceries back by that alleyway. The least you can do is repay me or buy some more.” Your voice was sickly sweet, an obvious sign that you were trying to get on his good side. He seemed to have notice this, but he still motioned for you to continue. “Well I brought at least 2 weeks worth of sweets- don’t interrupt me- and I need sweets, caffeinated things, strawberries, or just sugar in general to think. I don’t sleep, instead I run on these foods. Understood?” He nodded before pulling something out of his pocket.

“I’ll have someone get something for you, in the mean time just use these.” With that he gave you a chocolate bar. It made you wonder, has he had experience with this kind of thing before? “But whatever the case, I suggest you sleep. Those bags under your eyes aren’t exactly flattering…” You’re about to hit him over the head, however he had shut the door in your face before you could act… that was probably Mello talk for “welcome to the mafia.”

[1] Living in Australia, I don’t know if these national tests are taken in America, but in DN episode 1, Light took these kinds of tests and ranked number 1 in the whole nation (or something like that)

This is going to be Mello x Reader eventually.Okay so this is much longer than most reader inserts on D.A. but this took me about 3 days to write... it was so much fun Yeah so please tell me what you think and point out any grammatical errors. I re-read it about 4 times, but you never know.

Me no own Death Note! Me no own you!Me do own story! Me do own Lil!

Edit: So I have finally finished editing this chapter according to the feedback I had gotten on Lunaecense. There will probably be more to come though because I'm still not validated lol

I LOOOVVVEEETT! Reader-chan is so meee!!! ...but only a bit of a hyperbolical version of me. ^__^ I sure love sweets, I love to learn and stuff (still working on my deduction skills though... ), and well... yeah! I know a thing or two about martial arts!!!

a point to be nice you repeated the same paragraph right after it. It might be your computer glitching. However very nice poor Mello forgot that not everyone can see through a blind fold *sweat drop* if it's thin I can.

Thank you so much! I thought I had gotten rid of mistakes, clearly not. It's not so much a computer glitch as me not noticing I had already copied that paragrpah. I have to copy each paragraph individuallly from Word so I can put in the correct html codes. Unfortunately it leaves for a few mistakes

You're welcome! Haha yeah that happens. It's crazy how once you start writing the piece takes on a life of its own and becomes something totally different than you had in mind but still just as good. I really like her colorful nature, it makes for an amusing story because she's unusual in that aspect. I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Very clever and engaging. It made me laugh out loud a couple times. I love how cool "I" am, and can't wait to see what other skills "I" have! I love Death Note, but never really thought about a Mello pairing, so this should be very interesting!