HELP US UNDERSTAND

HERE IS ONE I USED A LONG TIME AGO AND FEEL THAT IT IS WORTH A REPEAT BECAUSE I AM STILL THINKIN’ ABOUT IT.

Hi, Im Bo Lumpkin and I’ve been thinkin’.

I’ve been thinkin’ about this communication problem that men and women seem to have. As a matter of fact I’ve been thinkin’ about it for thirty something years. Men have come to the conclusion that we will never know what women are thinkin’ and it scares us enough that we ain’t sure that we really want to know. We realize that most of us are really insensitive and the truth is most of us just can’t help that. We can’t guess what it is that you want, you have to spell it out and it is best if you spell it out real slow. These ain’t even our biggest problems in communication.

It’s bad enough that we ain’t intuitive enough to know what you are thinkin’ and ain’t sensitive enough to know what you want but I have a confession to make. Half the time we don’t even know what your are sayin’.

Please don’t get me wrong we love ya’ll a bunch and we do want to please you (most of the time) and all we really want is for you to be happy and we’ll do our best to make you happy if you will just help us. Here are some ways you can help.

When you want us to do something ask us. Don’t make a statement about what you want done. If you want us to take out the garbage don’t say, “That garbage is beginning to stink.” That don’t require us to respond because we might not be able to smell it or we might smell it but it don’t bother us as much as gettin’ up to take it out. If you say, “Would you take the garbage out?”
(Saying please ain’t mandatory but it is nice), then we will respond usually by taking out the garbage.

This works also with other statements that should be phrased as questions.

“The grass in the backyard is so high I’m afraid of snakes.”
“My car is almost out of gas and I have to go to work tomorrow.”
“That tire on my car is still low.”
“We don’t have any milk or bread.”
“The kids won’t go to bed.”
“The goat got in the garden and wet on the turnip greens.”
“You didn’t shave today.”

I reckon I could give more examples but you get the idea. Now just to help us out and help us understand what you are trying to say, go back and read these and see if you can think of a way to put these into the form of a request so we will know what you want.

I’m Bo Lumpkin and I’ve been thinkin’. If you would send me an email or a comment on these I might have enough stuff to write for a week.