Walters: ‘Drugs aren’t biased’

Saturday

Jun 22, 2013 at 12:01 AM

Cheboygan graduate Zachary Walters was “that guy” in high school: captain of his sports teams, homecoming court member, good grades, “most likely to succeed,” studying for a pilot's license and heading off to a top business program at a Big Ten college.

By MARY BARKERmbarker@cheboygantribune.com

Cheboygan graduate Zachary Walters was “that guy” in high school: captain of his sports teams, homecoming court member, good grades, “most likely to succeed,” studying for a pilot's license and heading off to a top business program at a Big Ten college. Today, at 24, he is a recovering drug addict, thankful to be living in the William's House, a Salvation Army transition home for men in Cheboygan, and happier than he has been in a long time.“I was that guy, which just goes to show you. Drugs aren't biased. Inside I was miserable,” said Walters.He said what he thought were “little things,” — the pressures of heading off to college, the absence of a relationship with his father — were building inside. He said he wasn't the type that would ask for help. But, Walters said he never abused alcohol or drugs until his senior year in high school. Even then, it was a painkiller, Vicodin, once every two or three weeks; what he considered recreational use for nearly the next three years.Things started to spiral downhill in 2010 when he hurt himself skiing and was prescribed painkillers. He said he hadn't touched a painkiller for six months when the accident happened. He became dependent and started the common practice of doctor shopping: switching to different doctors in order to get his painkiller prescription refilled.Walters said for a period of about two years, with the exception of one month, he never went without painkillers for more than 48 hours. “I was taking so much Vicodin that the Tylenol in it physically made my liver hurt.”That's when he moved on to more powerful opiates, pain-relieving and sleep-inducing drugs derived from opium and its derivatives, such as Percocet, Morphine, Oxycotin to name some. “If you don't give it a break, your tolerance builds fast,” said Walters. After about a year, he said he was spending up to $200 a day on Heroin, Oxycotin and everything in between. “I never used a needle. I never shot anything. I'm very thankful for that. I snorted. I had friends who wouldn't allow me to use a needle and a I have a severe phobia of needles,” said Walters.By the spring of 2012 ,Walters said the opiates alone weren't enough. “I started to mix with alcohol and that's a bad combination. I started with two shots at night and by the end was up to a fifth of Vodka on top of opiates.“Through all of this, most of my friends, family had no idea I was using. I was leading a completely double life. On the surface I was hard working, had a great job, great friends. I didn't tell them because I knew they cared about me and they would want me to stop,” continued Walters. “Leading the double life was almost worse for me, on top of using.” His drug use landed him in jail when he ran out of money and was arrested on a felony charge and convicted.“It was one of the worst days of my life, but at the same time it was one of the best. …. My uncle picked me up. It was the first time anyone knew how bad I was. He made me call my mom and I spilled everything. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But it was nice because I was honest. I was so used to lying,” recounted Walters.His sentence included probation, but not jail. He immediately entered a rehabilitation program. He failed to notify the courts of a change in address, a violation of his probation, and he “dropped dirty,” or tested positive for drugs.“Everybody was still using. I tested for Suboxone, it's a powerful drug that is used to get off opiates,” said Walters. At this point, Walters said he knew there was a warrant out for his arrest on a probation violation. He avoided the police for a week during which he abused drugs and alcohol heavily.“Eventually I bit the bullet and went to my mom's house at 9 p.m. She said, 'I'm calling the cops, we've got to get this taken care of.' I didn't want anybody to see who I was, I didn't want them to pull an intervention. I just wanted to tell her 'I love you and I'm sorry.' ”He received a four-month jail sentence. While in jail he was a trustee and participant in the Life Empowerment Skills Program. He served 71 days of his sentence.He credits his friends, family and his girlfriend for their strength and support during this time. “I know it was really, really, really hard for my mom to hold it together,” said Walters. “My girlfriend, hands down, has been the biggest psychological help. When I got out of jail, friends I had avoided got a hold of me again.”Walters said the support of transition home managers Duane and Elke McGovern has been a key factor in his recovery. He said the rehabilitation program in Traverse City lacked the personal connection he has received in the Cheboygan Salvation Army transition home program. Walters spoke emphatically about the dangers of using Suboxone, a drug commonly and frequently prescribed to help ween addicts from their drug use. Theoretically, the dosage of suboxone is supposed to become smaller over time.“Very few people work their way down. Most end up getting more, using more and selling it. It is way over prescribed. Very few use it as intended. It is an epidemic around here; in Cheboygan. It is prescribed too easily and not monitored enough,” said Walters. He added it is very addictive and the withdrawal symptoms are much worse than those from the original drug of addiction.After nearly three months at the William's House, Walters said things are getting better and he is no longer sleeping the days away because he is so miserable. Dealing with guilt is a constant struggle.“You feel better when you get up and do something. When you feel bad, it just builds and builds and that's when you relapse. Duane can call me on that. He has felt my misery and all the guilt because he has been there,” said Walters.A typical day has him getting up before 8 a.m., meeting with one of the McGoverns about his plan or the day, taking a PBT test for alcohol use, checking his e-mails and doing chores. He leaves the house mid-morning and does community service at the Salvation Army. Later he may talk a walk and have dinner with his girlfriend and/or go visit his grandparents. In the evening, he attends recovery meetings. Walters said he “absolutely” lives by the recovery program's one-day-at-a-time doctrine. He said he has a lot of ambition and it is hard not to look ahead, but if he starts worrying about everything he will be facing “down the road,” he gets nervous and “paralysis” sets in. “I have tried it the other way and lasted a month. I figured this time I would bite the bullet and work the 12-steps and deal with the guilt,” said Walters. “I like to walk. … Boredom kills me. If I don't keep busy, my thoughts start working on me. I talk a lot with my girlfriend. She has been with me through the good, the bad and the ugly. I can be completely open with her. She has saved me many times in every way you can be saved,” said Walters.