Local Man Too Occupied with Underperforming Footy Sides To Give A Fuck About Election

Local man, Will Chapman (26) doesn’t know how his mates can be so ‘into this political shit’ at the moment, especially considering the current Manly Sea Eagles match-fixing saga.

As a staunch fan of both Manly, the NSW Blues and the Wallabies, this health and fitness professional from Avoca Beach has nothing to smile about, while still attempting to cheer for the worst performing professional football sides of 2016.

“Here I am, experiencing one of the most depressing eras in the history of both codes of rugby, and all anyone wants to talk about is this fucking election,”

“Have they got rocks in their fucking heads? Have they heard some of the names embroiled in this match-fixing shit?”

“The Blues have lost 10 Origin series in 11 years and the first thing anyone wants to talk about is an election? This country is going to shit,”

“We’ve had more fucking Prime Ministers this decade than Origin wins… and I’m not talking series wins, that’s a given, I’m talking fucking matches,”

With highly contentious political issues such as the proposed privatisation of Australian healthcare, federal budget repair, border security and marriage equality dominating the front two pages of Australian newspapers for over eight weeks now – ‘Chappo’ says that he can’t believe that the Wallabies lost three games straight to England not even a whole year after finding themselves in the 2015 Rugby World Cup Grand Final.

“Cheika was supposed to be the bright light from Randwick. He’s fucked it. It’s all fucked mate,”

As the rest of the nation carefully weighs up who to vote for this July 2nd, Mr Chapman says the official announcement better not take broadcasting priority over the Sea Eagles/Dragons match on Monday.

“Remember when Origin got postponed just so we could see that lesbian replaced that other lesbian in 2013? Rudd was Prime Minister twice? What the fuck,”

“I’m a betting man and I wouldn’t go near that shit. It’s more crook than the trots.”

While Mr Chapman says he’s probably seen more ads for Malcolm Turnbull on Channel Nine, he’s still probably going to just vote for whoever his dad tells him to vote for when they have dinner on Friday night.

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