In a harried effort to outdo TIME's "breastfeeding toddler" cover, Newsweek unveiled the cover of this week's issue: the President on a backdrop of what appears to be outer space, head encircled by a rainbow halo. Underneath that, the headline "The First Gay President." Barack Obama's wife and daughters are going to be so disappointed that their husband and dad is actually a homosexual space alien.

It seems that TIME and Newsweek are locked in a bitter battle to see who can out-troll America with the most stupid cover possible. What do you think they'll come up with next? A picture of Ronald Reagan making out with Jesus, both of whom have been photoshopped to look obese combined with some headline about how we're all fat and also maybe gay? A picture of a woman wearing a hijab covering her hair, a veil covering her face, and only a string bikini covering the rest of her body along with the headline "SEXY ISLAM: How Muslim Women Are Reclaiming Pleasure?" A toddler with breast implants and purple hair standing next to a mother along with the headline, "Children Should Be Seen and Heard - How Letting Kids Decide How They're Raised is Revolutionizing Parenting?" Some combination of fatness, mom blaming, child endangerment, race baiting, gay baiting and possible masturbating? I love the cover wars.