Why a wedding planner/event coordinator is key. Horror story.

I am a former planner and my wedding was about six months ago. Even knowing everything that I know, and doing most of the work myself, I had a coordinator at the chapel and a team of three day-of coordinators who got detailed excel spreadsheets from me before the big day as well as a venue walk through a few weeks prior. This past weekend I went to a wedding that was done entirely by an amateur. If your wedding is very small, you may be able to do it yourself. If it isn’t, for goodness sake, please hire a pro!!! They know things you don’t. Trust me. This wedding read like a “what goes wrong without a pro tip sheet”. A few examples:

1. It was an entirely outdoor destination wedding in the desert. Even after dark, it was 106 degrees. Guests were miserable. (A planner would have steered it to a different location, made sure they had misters, or indoor space.)

2. It was held at a private home in a residential neighborhood and the bride ran into noise complaints she hadn’t anticipated. She also didn’t fully understand her contract and thought that the midnight load-out was the time the noise had to stop, not the time everyone needed to be off site. (The music had to stop by 10:30 and vendors had to be off site by midnight. Oops.)

3. They had one fully functioning bathroom for 150 people.

4. Their outdoor lighting was inadequate and a guest fell down the stairs and had to be taken away in an ambulance. (I still don’t know what the repurcussions will be of this, lawsuit?)

6. No one fully understood how to estimate the amount of ice and liquor needed for the number of guests, so they kept running out of things.

7. The violinists they hired for the ceremony were awful, anemic, and off-key. (A planner would know this. They use the same vendors over and over, because they’re good.)

8. The ceremony site was down a steep hill, so the grandparents couldn’t actually sit in the seats. They had to watch from a patio in back.

9. The officiant they hired forgot their names during the ceremony.

10. They probably spent around $40,000-$50,000 total. Way more than they would have if they had just shelled out the $5,000 or so on a planner who could have steered their choices.

It was a train wreck. Trust me. There are things a professional knows that you don’t. I’m not in the business anymore, but I spent 6 months interning for $6 an hour to learn what I know and years working as part of a team.

@hellosteinberg: A lot of what you posted sounds like a lack of common sense. That does sound like a train wreck wedding…poor couple! Some folks don’t have the money to hire a wedding planner but they still do a great job pulling everything together. I personally wouldn’t spend the money and I did try to consider as many contingencies as I could. That said, I’m sure something will go wrong as it always does. Luckily only I know how it is supposed to go so I’m sure no one will notice. Even if they do, I’m okay with that 🙂

Although, I didn’t have a planner (only a day-of coordinator) and didn’t run in to any of those problems. It takes common sense and a bit of research to choose reputable vendors – not a wedding planner.

Yeah, it was craziness and just painful to watch, particularly cause I know they spent an obscene amount of money on things. We spent about 20k on our whole day and used Pink Cloud for our day of, they’re really affordable.

To be fair, not all of those things would have required a wedding planner to figure out. I would never have an outdoor wedding out in the heat, and it doesn’t take any special knowledge or experience to realize that raw food in the heat equals food poisoning. My fiance and I have thought about amount of food and beverages vs how many people and have discussed this at length with our experienced vendors. We have thought about building and bathroom access and we know how to read a contract. Honestly it sounds more like the couple was careless or not very smart.

That’s not to say planners aren’t valuable. They certainly DO think of details that we wouldn’t, and their experience comes in handy. We have consulted with many professionals in planning our wedding and we wish we could afford at least a day-of coordinator. But honestly many of the things you listed above just sound like the couple was pretty foolish.

@hellosteinberg: I had a 6k wedding for 100 people without a coordinator & it turned out pretty darn decent.

I’m not saying a coordinator wouldn’t have been awesome, but to say that somebody *needs* one seems like a scare tactic. If you have a good amount of common sense, common decency for your guests, and aren’t looking to have a huge amount of formality, then one can totally do it on their own.

It sounds to me like the problem with the bride & groom in your story is that they lacked common sense & a solid understanding of their contracts.

Eh, a person who better planned in general could have avoided some of those issues without a planner too. Anyone thinking “hey, I am having a wedding in the desert in the middle of summer” needs to think a second time. A brain was needed, not a wedding planner.

@hellosteinberg: The problem was not lack of a planner, but lack of common sense. Points 1-4 and 8 were because they held it at a private residence. Points 5 and 6 were because they apparently didn’t use experienced vendors. Points 7 and 9 were because they didn’t check out the people they were hiring.