circles must be closed so that they can almostbe heard clicking together, out over the frosty fieldswhen we enter, welcomed by an almost as if clean sheet room.

between freshly painted eggoiltempera walls now lives only

a large bed, that old church bench and white,

small pointed stars that shines in a long row in a window.

it is the most beautiful way this year could ever be

closing in on its end. a breathing space

with the echo of a darkroom. all in a new light.

*

noël aims with the axe. MoFa says how,standing confidently close as splinters swirl.

we are christmas tree hunting, just like when we were children

and have chosen which one during the same wild discussions as then.

noël then carries at one end, shrewd glances from under dark,long bangs, constantly with a secretive teenage smile.bella carries at the other end. in the depths of me, she is me.lugs the actually a bit too heavy tree, sharply prickly through thewoollen mittens, stubborn in silent concentration.

quiet pride in the forest clearings.in between two large trees stands a stroller.

in it sleeps our child. it is his first christmas tree hunt,

but he doesn’t know that yet.

more circles must be closed so that they can almost be heardclicking together, out there in the pine forest.i remember it as if it was always snowing back then.

now there’s only a gentle, golden afternoon sun.

maybe it’s the gluey caramels in the pocketor the sudden discovery out among the trees,- of a huge fir tree decorated with real, big red appleshanging from striped string and with gift wrapped boxesspilling out underneath, that they will remember from this day.

later. many years from now.

i feel airy and am mostly without the camera.

no darkrooms now. only light breathing space.*cassius looses himself in bella.he crawls after, collapses her wood brick castles.he looks and looks and looks.they make music in the kitchen, drums on upside down potswith ladles. in the depths of me, bella is small again.she plays with potatoes in that same kitchen,adds one at a time into a cautious stack and double backfor applause from us around the dinner table.even more circles must be closed so that they can almostbe heard clicking together, between wine glassesand candles burning on the table.there’s the making of kale crisps, night after night.there’s the scent of lobster thermidor & freshly baked bread,the scent of pine and clementines, of just our home.we drink champagne in the wilderness hot tub on the 23rd.the fire basket is wildly afire and laughter rises with the steam.in the depths of me, i’m back right here, but a few years ago in time.we spent a devotional christmas eve watch,hanging over the edge of the then new wilderness hot tub then too.vapor veiled from bare shoulders and bubbles travelled in glasses.upwards, upwards, toward the treetops we looked,but not a single star.now it's a starry night. everything is clear.i’m weightless in the water.so awake to everything that is now.these are the new stories about back then.that we all will come to remember.

4 kommentarer:

hannah,you are such a masterof moods, magic, tones,space between the linesto get a feel,while filling them with one's own imagination... i'm so grateful for this space of yours,for always coming away touched, overflowing some how.it's a rare thing. x

oh my...I am very sorry for crying all the timewhen I come over this wonderful place andread and watch what you show us...*hihihi*I remember the post about Bella and the potatos,I remember the post about Noel and the little eifel tower,I remember the post about your x-mas now 3 years ago...I remember the post when you wrote about this time when you lost your way and found yourself in the dark...that time I was a silent follower and had to translate your language to understand finally what I already saw in your pictures...I remember how long you touch me with all your wonderful posts.And I want to thank you for that - you lovely sweet Honeypie!I am looking forward to more of your wonderful stories...and I will always remember this post today...again it touched my heart and I can almost see Bella and Cassius and all of you. And again I am very happy for you!Just want to let you know.I am very happy for you....and....again you give me hope.xt.

thank you so much, sweetheart t,- that’s so lovely to hear you were herealready back then.. i didn’t know that..! it’s peculiar how i am myself as if transported back to memories when i write new posts.i mean.. i already knew it’s like a diary of sorts,but to be reminded with photos a n d words..sometimes it really gets to me too. *smiles*

thank you, always, for being there (here) in sucha generous, kind and beautiful way..!