Somewhere between numbness and fear is a wasteland called Despair

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Final Artwork

Artwork process

The absolute worst thing about living 'abroad' is being away from friends and family when life threatening emergencies happen. When I got the call "mum is in hospital", my brain went into a serious meltdown. Phrases like "internal bleeding", "exploratory surgery", and "we just don't know" penetrated the fog and battered my attempts to stay positive.

This painting is that in-between place where you're fighting to stay optimistic, wanting to be realistic, but struggling against crippling fear. I spent a week in this limbo and when finally, mum was out of the woods and well on her way to steady healing I knew I needed some sort of outlet.

Cue one 120cm x 80cm canvas and an attack of black and blue paint. I poured every worry, every fear, every moment of panic out on that canvas and felt infinitely lighter for it.