Giant Gumball Machine

You cannot be serious!

Everyone dreams of owning something giant, but few dream of owning a gumball machine. And yet when you put both dreams together you’re left with one of the most ridiculously desirable items in the world.

No, your eyes do not deceive you; the little girl in the photo really is wearing a dress made from one of Barry Chuckle’s old sweatshirts. But forget about fashion because the Giant Gumball Machine next to her is flipping enormous. At over 6.5ft tall and 3.5ft wide, this truly awesome vending machine holds 20,000 (yes, 20,000!) one-inch gumballs, making it an attraction in its own right. Om-nom-nom!

Thanks to its huge capacity and jaw-dropping size, the Giant Gumball Machine will pay for itself in…well, it’ll pay for itself sooner or later but we’re too busy chewing jaw-exhausting gumballs to get the calculator out.

The point is, despite its considerable price tag, this humungous contraption is not as ludicrous a purchase as you/your financial advisor might think. Plonk one in your store, foyer or forecourt and customers will flock from miles around to see it in action. It’s like Alice in Wonderland meets Willy Wonka by way of a reverse shrink gun accident at a cartoon carnival. Or something like that.

Speaking of action, punters won’t have to wait around for their yummy gummy treats because the Giant Gumball Machine features an über efficient Beaver mechanism, an industry standard that will devour cash and deliver balls till the cows come home. Indeed the only thing you need to worry about is how best to heave home all that lovely loot.

Of course you could always buy the Giant Gumball Machine for non-commercial purposes and stick it in your undoubtedly impressive pad. But that would be a bit like putting a log flume in the bathroom – ie: completely brilliant. So go on, put your money where your mouth is, by gum!