Five-Girl Armies and Finnish Martians Fall Through the Cracks

Back to the No Secrets debut, pick one up without hesitation for any grade-school or tweener-pop girl or boy in your house come holiday time, and tell Santa to just burn those Avril/Michelle/Vanessa "I'm an artist" angstathons. If Satan, I mean Santa, doesn't comply, why, just send him over to my East Bay, CA, abode and I'll kick his ass myself. (Personal to Michelle Branch: Yes, I know you know three chords on the guitar. QUIT PLAYING THEM.)