Not a rambler? Your time will come!

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — I have noticed lately that I tend to ramble a bit! Especially if I am trying to accomplish something and feel that the person to whom I am speaking needs an explanation as to why I am doing it ... a habit probably common to my peers!

Is this a syndrome of aging — you know, going into detail about our activities? Or is it just the need to let someone know that we really are still quite organized and functioning well?

I am certain this is driving some folks, including the grandchildren, a bit crazy, since on the contrary, their conversations are fast, laced with abbreviations and/or one word answers or questions that I either cannot hear or understand!

Do you sometimes wonder if you talk too much? I mean, if you meet people you have not seen for a while and they ask what you have been doing and when you have been answering them a while, do they start to look over your shoulder at someone else, telling you with their body language they honestly do not really want to know.

Are they rude or is it that after they have listened for a while, you do go on and on, making sure you tell them every little thing?

I love my children. They are good, thoughtful, caring individuals. Yet, I remember when my grandchildren were young, somehow, if they asked me a question during a call, I never got to answer it. I tried. Maybe even then my explanations were too wordy so we would end with their suggestion to call me later, when it was quieter.

I do not know if it has always been like this. Maybe the fast pace of life that had started then is the cause and people do not have the time to listen, or perhaps it is because they really are not interested, or giving them the benefit of the doubt, conceivably their attention span is limited.

On the other hand, it might be that our language is at fault.

How many of you work in large institutions or agencies? Do folks really mean it when they say, “How are you?”

If they do, how come they are halfway down the corridor, leaving you behind, as you are explaining that you think you are having a heart attack? Maybe they really mean “Hello.”

That single word greeting should be enough to fulfill the need most of us have for acknowledgment.

Then there is the acquaintance, someone who genuinely seems delighted to see you, who hugs you enthusiastically and begins the conversation with, “What’s new?”

Maybe that question should be followed with, “Tell me in one sentence or less,” because that is all the time she really intends to give you during your chance meeting.

I work at being a good listener, but there are times! I have a relative with whom most communication is by phone. This is just as well, for if she could see my face during our conversations, she might never call again.

She tends to describe her activities in such detail I want to scream. I do not need to know about her friend’s friend whom I will never meet, nor about the sister-in-law of her second cousin who will be visiting her brother’s brother-in-law.

However, I am attentive, inserting an “ah uh” and an occasional “really” while I relieve my irritation mouthing to no one in particular: “Please spare me the particulars.”

As it is, feeling ashamed of myself, I frequently delay phoning her, thinking of one excuse after another not to do so. It is a dilemma.

So, ahead of time, friends, if I call and start to ramble, do tell me when I am — I don’t want to lose any of you.