Weekend Coffee Share; STAYING BUSY

This morning I really need my coffee. I’ve been awake half the night thinking. How about you? How was your week?

I’ve been keeping myself busy, even busier than usual this week. Trying to not think about the fact that my daughter is not with me. However happy I am for her. It is hard! There’s a thousand thoughts running around in my head. I’m as far from the worrying kind as one could be. I know by experience that the only thing in life that is constant, is change. I can handle her being away for a visit with her dad, no problem, but there is even talk about more. I’m not really sure how I am going to handle that. He has offered to let her start school in his town, in another state. She is happy, and thrilled about finally getting some dad time. All I know is that I would do anything for that little girl. I love her to death. Since I found out that I was pregnant with her I’ve been showering her with love, reading to her, and had educational conversation with her every single day she’s been with me. I’ve happily tailored my life around her, only accepting jobs where I have been able to bring her with me. Just to spend as much precious time as possible with my daughter. (Imagine how easy that have been, to find/create jobs where you can bring a small child.) The few days now and then she haven’t been with me, have been an exception to the rule, and very few in between.

I want her to have a relationship with her dad, that is why I gave up my life in my home country. (I love America, and it’s my home now, but in the beginning it wasn’t as easy as I showed family and friends.) So far, I’ve felt that we have not been a priority. In the end I guess one could say that we have different survival strategies for hard times, that I read as not being a priority. That is why I left her father (but not the country,) when she was a baby/toddler. We’ve been able to stay friends, and I think highly of him. For the most part we’ve been living within a few hours from each other, and when he’s been able to make time, I’ve been driving her to him. For her sake. I want her to know her dad. I feel that I have been going out of my way, a lot, to make it happen. Now he lives an 11 hour drive away, without traffic. In reality it takes two days to drive safely with a kid, one way. All of a sudden he wants to see her more. So far it’s been very easy to cooperate around her. I am so hoping that it will stay that way. I think it is. I hope it will. It’s been heavily on my mind this week. My daughter is my number one priority. Her well being, and her education is more important than anything to me. You get the idea, lots of things to think about. What is in her best interest? That’s all I really care about. But how do one know what’s in her best interest? My gut feeling want to keep her close, always, but a little voice tells me that’s selfish. How could I deny her spending more time her dad, that she adores? I’m sure the universe have a solution for this as well. Please just make your solution known in time before the new school year! The uncertainty is killing me. I can work with a definite decision, and make the best of it. Not knowing is challenging.

In the beginning of the week it was easy to think of other things, as my cousin and her boyfriend from Sweden, and my aunt from Washington was visiting. I wrote about our visit to Lassen Volcanic National Park, and McCloud Falls earlier this week. Having them here was wonderful. To say the least.

We had a visit from our amazing barefoot trimmer Donna on Tuesday. Fancy’s hooves were very neglected when I bought her in April. They were cracked, too short on most places, with long parts sticking out on other. Her heals were kind of pushed up into her hooves, and her toes were partly too long, and flared. She was walking on her toes. She had an untreated abscess on her left front hoof. After a first trim, Donna’s been balancing her hooves once a month. They are growing out nicely, and her heals are starting to take a more normal position. (You can see the progress in the photos below. There is still a way to go, but it is going in the right direction.) She is moving more freely by the day. She is making great progress. This week Donna told me that Fancy will not have any lasting injuries on her hooves, from the neglect. It’s such great news! The new growth is straight, and looks very healthy. Nutrition, and TLC goes a long way. Right now Fancy is on alfa alfa (hay), Stable Mix, and California Trace.

I ordered a new bitless bridle for her last week, that came this week. It’s handmade with her measurements, made out of biothane.

Doesn’t she look beautiful in it? You’ll have more control if you put the noseband a little further down, compared to where I placed it on Fancy. (She has an old injury in her mouth. Healed, but she has a bad deformation on her tongue. Her tongue was almost cut off at some point, and left untreated.) I have only used the headstall for work-in-hand (on the ground) so far. It seems like she really like it. I’ve successfully started, and restarted, different horses in this type of halter. Including wild mustangs. It’s soft, but the signals to your horse is very clear, and easy for them to understand. I order them from Moss Rock Endurance (they are having problems with their website right now, but they are working on it.) They also have great customer service. If you’re interested in one for your horse, contact the owner, Lisa. She has been very helpful to me throughout the years.

Do you need a refill on that coffee? Do you have agarden this year? How is it doing now? Is it at is peak? Or have you already harvested the majority of your bounty? I’d love to hear what garden zone you are in, and about the plants that thrives there.

I’ve planted three different varieties of smaller tomatoes; grape, cherry, and cocktail. When I pick them, I just pick the ripe ones, all together. The different tastes makes for great salads. Speaking of which, I tried this recipe the other day, it was amazing.

I’ve harvested at least 10 lbs of cherry tomatoes this week, some squash, cucumber, salad, and corn. To the benefit of friends and family. I’ve also added one Meyer Lemon tree, and one Navel Orange tree, to my container garden. I’ve been wanting to add citrus trees for a while, so this is exciting 🙂 It’s a start. There will be more. I’ve also done a lot of mulching. We’ve had three digit temperatures the whole week, most days more than 110. (The new saltwater pool is even more awesome than I imagined. I’ve spent a lot of time there this week.) I’ve started to clean out plants that I already finished harvesting from, some squash, and corn. Those beds I’ve started to prepare for my fall garden. The fall garden is still weeks away, but I will keep feeding those beds until it’s time. I spent time planning my fall garden this week, and ordered the heirloom seed I need from RareSeeds.Com. I will have eggplant, carrots, lettuce, kale, Chinese meat radish, and two tomato varieties in my fall garden. I will start those seeds indoors as soon as they arrive. When the temperatures are cool enough, I will plant them outdoors.

I have not been able to write anything on my book this week. Maybe next week? LOL. On an interesting note, I’ve had three hawks visiting me for hours every day. There’s a hummingbird feeder hanging from a tree, a few feet outside the living room window. Someone placed a beautiful bird bath made out of stone underneath. There’s never any humming birds there. Now these three hawk, have started to hang out there (maybe that’s why there are no hummingbirds there..) Sometimes it’s just one, or two hawks, but most of the time three. I’m far from a bird expert, but I believe it’s two males, and one female. They are just a few feet from the window, and I’ve enjoyed watching them very much. If I’m sitting very still on a chair outside, or in the pool, they come. If I make any moves, they are gone. I have not yet been able to take their picture. I’ll work on that. I don’t know what kind of hawks they are. They are on the smaller side.

I hope you’re having an amazing week! Don’t get me wrong, despite my thoughts about my daughter in the beginning, I am having a good week, just more to think about than usual. My dog Gretchen is working wonders on my happiness levels. She always does. I’m working a little harder than normal to keep my zen balanced this week. I’d love to hear about your week! Help yourself to another cup of coffee, and tell me about it 🙂

Love,

Ms Zen

PS. I am NOT an affiliate to any of the links I share. I just enjoy sharing things I like, and appreciate.

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Published by Sagittarius Viking

It’s all about experiences, and the healing power of nature. Life is about choosing happiness. I entered the magic world of photography when I was five years old. My gypsy soul have taken me to many different countries, and definitely taught me to be more humble. I believe that you are what you eat, body and soul. I enjoy growing my own food, and spending time outdoors. My German Shepherd is always by my side. Horses is a very important part of my life. Above everything else is my daughter.
A Sagittarius loves to travel, have an open mind and, and a philosophical view. It motivates them to wander around the world in search of the meaning of life. Sagittarius is extrovert, optimistic and enthusiastic, and likes changes. A lot of that perfectly describes me. The fact that my ancestors, on both parents sides, were vikings, doesn’t exactly lessen my desire to explore. Maybe a slightly more mindful exploring, compared to the average viking. My blog, and my art prints is a results of my (inner and outer) explorations.
Love,
Ms Zen
View all posts by Sagittarius Viking

41 thoughts on “Weekend Coffee Share; STAYING BUSY”

Awe, my heart strings pull as I can’t imagine having my daughter or boys having to be shared hours apart from me with their dad. I agree that it’s a wonderful thing for her to know her Dad and be around him too…. Such a tough situation! And yet you are taking it all in stride the best you can. You sound a lot like me, changes are a part of life and like you, I want to know what they are and I’ll make the best of it, not knowing is agonizing! ❤️
Your gardening is inspiring!! Love all you do, so interesting to read about the upkeep.
And your horse is beautiful, so happy her hoofs are better now. And I love bit less bridles, I have one made out of leather but I love the one you purchased! She will love it too. I’m glad to share coffee with you, and I am hoping for a good weekend! ❤️💕

It is difficult. I know it will pass. My peace of mind will come back. Maybe the happiness, and peace I’ve experienced this spring was to prepare me mentally for this challenge? Anyways, I feel strong, and this will pass. Somehow. Thank you so much for your kind words.

My garden does give me peace of mind. I love spending hours there every day. Having my dog lay lazily next to me, as we both move between the rows in the garden. Watching the hawks watch me. Listening to the horses nicker, and munching their hay. Jumping in the pool when it gets too hot. That part of life is pretty darn awesome!

I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to tell you how much I admire you as I have wondered how people move to different countries. People do it all the time for different reasons, but to leave your home where you were born and have family and start a new life just makes me think what brave souls. I’ve finally visited a far away place with my daughters encouragement and went to Australia a year ago. It was AMAZING! But to move that far away? A bit scary…. But I love how you’ve embraced all your change and how you have this wonderful life here with all your passions. You are a very strong woman. I know my Mom would say, us Swede’s are strong woman. ❤️

I bet your horse must enjoy the bit-less bridle? Did you two have to learn a new way to ride without the bit?

Your garden sounds like it’s doing great! what else do you have in it? My garden is just starting to produce (I’m in upstate NY, so my growing season is shorter than yours). I’ve planted bell peppers and beef tomatoes, pumpkins, yellow and butternut squash, broccoli, carrots, watermelon and cucumbers. I had lettuce, but it’s already done. I’ve only gotten cucumbers so far, but lots of little squashes and teeny tiny pumpkins are getting bigger everyday. I also have a ton of wild raspberry and blackberry bushes surrounding my lawn, which my son loves to pick. Raspberries in July and Blackberries all August and September.

Tell us more about your book. Maybe I missed it in other posts. I am working on a book as well, but summer laziness has kept me from it. Will you try to self publish? Will you go for hard copies or ebook? I may do both. There’s nothing like actually holding a book in my hands!

She does like her new bridle. I haven’t and a chance to fully try it out yet. I can only ride her shorter periods of time for now, because of her hooves. She does seem very relaxed, happy, and comfortable 🙂

Your garden sounds wonderful! I bet you get more rain than I do 🙂 I need to water a lot, to have anything grow. Right now I have;
A variety of salad greens (kale, baby spinach etc.)
Three varieties of tomatoes. Around 40 plants.
Sweet corn.
Eggplant
Squash
Cucumber
Bell pepper
Kitchen Herbs; basil, oregano, cilantro, sage, dill, parsley.
Garlic
Celery
Pomegranates
Figs
Oranges
Lemon

I wrote about my books few weekends ago https://norcalzen.com/2018/07/06/weekend-coffee-share-book-productive-organic-gardening-on-a-budget/. It’s about growing organic produce without breaking the bank. I’ve always enjoyed gardening, but as a single mom it helped me a lot to put good food on the table for my daughter. I have the frames for the book, the chapters, and some drafts, but it is far from finished. I want it to be good, and affordable. I will self publish. I have done it successfully before. My previous books have been coffee table books with Equine Photography. They have not been suitable as e-books, but I am thinking that this one will be both a physical book, and an e-book. It’s a different type of book. I love holding a real book in my hand. I read at least one 300+ page physical book a week.

Forgive my delay in reply. I haven’t been online too much the last week.

Your garden sounds so full! I bet it’s just wonderful to be in.

Going to look up your coffee table book. It sounds beautiful. I grew up on a horse farm and just love how majestic those creatures are! Thanks for letting me know where to find the info on your new book. I’ll check it out.

I’m going to try to self publish as well. My book is about my experience with post pardum depression through the eyes of my beloved dog, Kyra.

Fancy is looking grand, esp. in her sharp red harness. How are the trainings going with them both?
I know you must be missing H. very much. Dual parenting is a real challenge, I imagine. Hope the way comes clear for you all, for the highest good to prevail.
We’ve had a good week here with perfect weather. The big garden is coming into its own now and looks gorgeous. I never tire of looking at it! We’ve had some visiting Monarch butterflies and am hoping for lots of caterpillars soon.

Thank you so much! Fancy is doing much better. She seem happy and content.

I do miss my daughter tremendously. I’m sure we will come to some good solution, but it is a little challenging right now. Thank you for your kind encouragement.

Perfect weather 🙂 I like the sound of that! The photos you do share are wonderful. I love all the green, and the beautiful flowers. I can see why the Monarchs love your garden 🙂 Being out in a garden really feeds ones soul. I’m so happy you have one to enjoy. Have a wonderful weekend ! ❤

I can imagine you miss your daughter. I am glad you had family visiting to help keep you busy. This weekend I will turn another year older and set new goals for my next tour around the sun. Tomorrow we are doing family yoga on a local farm and picking blueberries with friends. There are a lot of changes coming over the next few months but I am happy it is summertime and that I have choices. How lucky I am! Have a great weekend.

Happy, Happy Birthday! That is something to celebrate 🙂 And it sounds like you’re going to do just that. How wonderful! Summertime should be a happy time, full of fun choices. You are blessed. Thank you for your kind comment.

I would expect that he would provide solid evidence that the schools in his area are equal to or better than, those where you live, before you agree to anything. On the other note, your horse is certainly a lovely beast!

Yes. I have a BA in Early Childhood Education, and so far I’ve been her (and other children’s) tutor. I had the idea that he appreciated that. As it has allowed me to drive her to see him more freely, when his scheduled allowed him to take a day off, compared to if she’d attended a regular school. I do see advantages of her going to a good school. As a teacher I highly value education. I would not stand in the way for that. I do need to know that my daughter is cared for, in every way. It is hard to really make sure of that, if I’m 11 hours away. That would break my heart.

Thank you! I kind of like this mare a lot myself. She is a sweet heart 🙂

Yes, very hard decisions concerning your daughter. If it were 2 hours or even 3, but 11 hours away? Just not something you can do every other weekend….

Thinking of your hawks, I just thought of something from last weekend. I was at the beach and a large redtail hawk soared over the people. It circled a few items and then landed 3 feet away from the lifeguard! It sat there for a few minutes before it flew away and landed on a light pole. The seagulls harassed it there, but it was still hanging out when I left.

Thank you! I am very happy about Fancy’s progress. I see more and more of her personality coming out, and I really like it! I take it as a sign that she is feeling better.

It was wonderful to have mu family visiting. Even if they did;t know it, it was great timing. Just what I needed.

It is tricky with co-parenting. I know that we will come to some kind of agreement. We always do. The distance is challenging. I supposed it cold of been worse..like if I took her to Sweden. LOL. I would never do that. She needs us both. Whatever decision there is going to be, I know for sure that I am going to go on a lot more road trips in the nearest future. LOOOONG ones. I like road trips alright, but it definitely going to require some life changes on my side.

Hawks are so fascinating. I know you enjoy watching them as much as I do. I’ve been watching them more closely, and I’m leaning towards thinking that they are Red-tailed hawks, of different ages.

Praying for wisdom for you in this situation. You’re a very wise person anyway, but this has to be hard.
Your photos are always great and I envy your garden.

Our yard used to have a good garden area, but neighbor trees grew so high that we would have to invest a lot to move the garden because our soil is so riddled with clay that only weeds grow good here without bringing in lots of better soil.

Hang in there lady. Be wise and keep loving that little gal and those lovely horses.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sure there is going to be a solution to this as well.

Tough when the neighbors have lots of trees..not so easy to do anything about. We have lots of trees as well. I’m thankful for the shade, so is my garden. It’s different when it’s 110 three months out of the year at least.

Gary, for some reason I can’t leave a comment on your blog post this week (again.) It’s like a game..every other week I can, and then there’s a week with no comment field. Maybe it’s my computers fault? I don’t know. I’m afraid your blog is the only one this happens with. I have no idea why. Sorry about that. I’m happy to read that your post surgery progress is going so well. That is great news!! ..and about those turkeys, I have them too. There’s usually round four in my front yard. We have a water fountain there, and they like to hang out close to it. They don’t bother me, so I just let them stay there. I hope your weekend is relaxing, and fun!

well nuts – no – it’s my fault. I use Pages rather than Posts and those need to have comments checked by hand each time and I forgot this time. Thanks for letting me know in time to fix it.
All the best – always.

You are such a caring and wonderful mom, Maria, both to your daughter and your horses! Fancy is a gorgeous horse and she is well taken care of! I pray for wisdom in handling your daughter’s father relationship and the difficult decisions you will be making now and in the future. My ex lived close enough to see our daughters, and their grandparents (his folks) live a town away. The girls grew up fast, now both in their 30s with lives of their own and not in Sacramento!

Keep brave and busy and trust your daughter and her wish for a daddy in her life. It doesn’t mean her mommy relationship is less important. From your writing it is obvious that you are everything a good mother is. Trust it.
And your horse is gorgeous. Lucky to have each other. I am buried in zucchini and no one in My world likes zucchini bread.

Thank you! I’ll come over for zucchini bread anytime! Last year I had lots of zucchini, and two neighbor girls used to come and pick some, and in return they baked the most wonderful zucchini bread for me. I gained weight.. I appreciate your encouraging comment. Thank you ❤

How brave of you to go through so much for your daughter, moving countries, and staying in contact with her dad… I’ve thought a lot about that sort of thing lately. I want kids, but I don’t think I can do it on my own, and I feel like I’m running out of time, but I can’t find a decent guy to stick around long enough for it to go anywhere even remotely ready for kids. *Sigh* So, I guess I’m proud of you or happy for you, even though it’s stressful, you’ve found a way to make it work, and that is impressive. Hang in there. And also, great job on the tomatoes! I have a black thumb. Nothing grows for me, so I’m impressed by those as well!

Thank you for your very kind words. Let’s start with the easy part. Gardening. Gardening is very easy here, we have lots of sun, LOTS of sun. The sun is doing most of the job. The garden zone you live in definitely affects how easy it is to succeed with your garden. California is like a great big cheat card, especially our part. I moved here to “garden mecca” partly because of that. I want to learn more, and eventually have my own homestead where I grow the majority of my family’s food myself. Don’t give up, it’s worth trying, and failing a few times before you get it right. I sure did, many times.

Being a mom is the most rewarding, challenging, fun, and scary thing at the same time. I think it’s a role you grow into. I never planned on being a mom. My own mother passed away when I was very young. I had a great role mother in my grandma, but never thought about becoming a mom myself, until I all of a sudden was one. And in a blink of an eye, you’re also all of a sudden more vulnerable. A little person is more important than yourself. Right now I’m meditating over that last sentence. It helps. Because when you are a mom, it’s tough when your young child is out on her/his own adventure.

You seem to be doing fine! I need to get a little busier I think – since my boys are now all adult – youngest still with us – I have less managing to do, so more time to work on the business side of things- but all I seem to do is work! I just rescued a nine year old Patterdale, so that helps me to get out and about.
You will find the way that comes closest to meeting everyones needs – its always compromise – and somewhat worrying what is best for the youngsters – I do know because when my boys were 7 and 9 I left their dad. Like you , I retained my respect and affection and that really helps! But from being a full time stay at home mum, I had to leave them with their dad for half the week. I was living across the country whilst they had their part of the week with Dad, and I returned for the other part of the week whilst I had them, so their routine was consistent. I really missed not being there for that half of every week. I still feel sad about it, and somewhat diminished. But I do see how secure and lovely they are – and perhaps part of that is the continued presence of their dad. Who knows? The best of luck to you all – it just takes time and consideration. xx

Dogs are great at helping us get out of the house! I think it is a wonderful thing that you choose to adopt and older dog. Congratulations to your new family member 🙂

Thank you so much for sharing your story, and encouraging me along the way. Thank you! I am hoping that my daughter is going to continue getting to know her dad. I’m going to do what I can to support that. I’m only worried about not being able to be the support for her, in the way I have been. She is a soft, sweet, and kind girl. I know by experience that people take advantage of that. That scares me. I’m hoping, and thinking that we will work something out that is doable for everyone involved, in her best interest.

I think the hawks in my backyard are red tails as well, I’ve beens studying photos of different hawks online. ..and it’s probably the same reason why there’s never any hummingbirds at my bird feeder. The hawks are hanging out nearby the whole time.

Your summer photos are absolutely lovely! I enjoy looking at them lot.

I know somehow a good solution will appear, that will let my daughter see both of us. I really do want her to have that in her life. I’m sure it is like you say, that they will always be our babies, and that we miss them when they are not with us. Children are life changing, and worthy of being so, that is for sure. I hope you had a marvelous weekend my friend. ..and about my daughter. Any decision we make, wether I keep homeschooling her in California, or she starts school at her dad’s, I will have to make more trips in your “winter home” direction. Lots of them. Maybe we can have that coffee in real life this fall? 🙂 Have a great day!

Greetings for another week! Loved the photos of Fancy and wish you lived close by so I could give her a pat.
Thinking of the difficulties involved in sharing the love and custody of your daughter. As much as you love her and are encouraging her relationship with her father, you also need to think about your stability and not having to keep moving. That the arrangements need to work three ways. You also need to have a place that feels like home, unless you prefer more of a gypsy existence. However, with your love of your horses and your garden, these aren’t things that move easily. We’ve been in the same house now for about 17 years about an hour from where I grew up. It was only going to be for a couple of years until we got a nest egg together to move back to Sydney. We are quite settled now. At least, until the kids move out. That said, I’d love to knock down our house and rebuild.
When it comes to our garden, I’d tell you nothing grows. However, we have a huge Jacaranda tree, a rose bush, a few paperbarks which have withstood droughts and all sorts. It seems strange talking about drought when we live on the coast but we have had some periods of extended low rainfall.
Hope your week going okay without your daughter. It will be my turn next weekend as the kids are going on a ski weekend with scouts. I must admit I’ll be happy when they’re back home safely and tucked into their own beds.
Best wishes,
Rowena

Hi Rowena. Fancy would love some extra pets. She is such a sweetheart. As long as she has a peaceful place to live, and food, she is happy. She is much more relaxed now, and starting to become curious about her world. She is a very easy going horse. Nothing crazy about her. I would feel safe leaving her in the care of a neighbor, or friend, if (more like when) I need to travel. Ghost is another story. He is coming along great, but I would never feel OK leaving him while traveling. It would upset him a lot, and he needs a very special person, sensitive to his needs to care for him. Otherwise he would not feel good, and worst case scenario someone would get hurt. With that in mind. After a lot of thinking. I’ve decided to find him a new home. For my own peace of mind. It’s going to be lots of traveling back and forth with my daughter, no matter if she lives with me, or her dad. With Ghost at home, I could not do it. It’s hard, but it’s the only right decision, both for me, and Ghost. There is going to be some changes. I’m going to do my very best to keep Fancy. I think that is doable, since she is so easy, and sweet in all handling. I would definitely have to change my gardening a little. Not fun, but I could do it. Especially after the worst heat ends here in a couple of months.

Jacaranda trees are so beautiful! You are blessed to have one at home. Just the color makes me happy 🙂 I believe I saw a photo you posted of it a while back, right? Have a wonderful week, thank you for your thoughtful comment. I love these coffee shares.

Hi Maria,
So often I wonder why life has to become so complicated, with difficult choices and I feel for you with all the current upheaval. Your child is your child. A part of you and yet this independent, living, breathing individual. I know how you also feel about your horses. Hang in there. You are not alone. I heard this recently and have shared it with quite a few friends. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx8yD3-HWTg It really touched my heart.
I think I did post a photo of our Jacaranda. It’s like my token contribution to garden discussions. By the way, I just looked out my window and there’s a red rose bed growing just into view. Definitely deserves a photo.
Take care! Love & best wishes,
Ro