Whole lotta racket

By Steve PackerJuly 5 2003

Illustration: Simon Letch

Eminem on cowbells? High-tech rules in the studio, but the goofiest instruments have a new lease of life.

First, try not to panic. Trends come and go, and you can get through this. They may be the instruments of nightmares, fighting it out to be hell's equivalent of the harp in heaven, but the fact is, they're back. Uncool musical instruments are cool again.

We're talking ukulele, banjo, harmonica, melodica, cowbell, bongos, tambourine and kazoo. The instruments people make jokes about; the common, affordable ones "anyone can play". If you grew up without being given multicoloured plastic versions of at least three of these, you have something to discuss with your relatives.

The novelty with goofy instruments is that there is no novelty. They are being used with - and as seriously as - much more sophisticated gear as musicians with adult skills playfully return to the "toys" of childhood. Rather than a backlash against technology, it seems to be a reassertion that raw expression will always have its place. So for humanity's sake, try to cope. Better still, choose a weapon and join in.

Ukulele What's the difference between a banjo and a ukulele? A ukulele burns faster.");document.write("

advertisement

");
}
}
// -->

Developed in Hawaii in the late 19th century from the Portuguese braguinha, it was named ("oo-koo-leh-leh") either after the Hawaiian stringed ukeke or from a term for jumping flea. It was introduced to the world when the Royal Hawaiian Quartet played at a San Francisco exposition in 1915, and popular in the 1920s for playing upbeat tunes with minimal skill. Torchbearers include early TV host Arthur Godfrey, British music hall's George Formby and the indescribable Tiny Tim.

Instrumentals: Four-string soprano, tenor and baritone ukes are standard, and six- to nine-string versions are also made. Cost $20 to $1000-plus. Kamaka is the only Hawaiian manufacturer left from the 1920s boom, thanks largely to its classic oval "painted pineapple" uke (about $1000).

Sightings: Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam, solo on stage with an electrified uke; Old Spice Boy Azo Bell playing with the range and dexterity of a fine guitarist; uke clubs forming across the United States with elderly players dusting off their skills to teach newcomers.

Banjo What is the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw a ukulele in a dumpster and it hits a banjo.

Stretching strings across drums dates from ancient times. Thomas Jefferson wrote of the banjo as an African slave instrument. White men wearing black-face picked up on it in the 1800s as a comic gimmick. It has been prevalent in bluegrass, country, folk, jazz and pop. Vaudeville virtuoso Roy Smeck played banjo and ukulele with his teeth 40 years before Hendrix. Political folkie Pete Seeger played one with pride: "The banjo surrounds hate and forces it to surrender." Steve Martin strummed one with an arrow through his head on Saturday Night Live. In the 1970s, the Deliverance theme, Duelling Banjos, stirred interest (even if one of the instruments was a guitar).

Instrumentals: Five-string closed-back banjos are standard. There are also four-string and open-back models. Cost $150 to $10,000-plus.

Choice cuts: Masters of the Banjo (Arhoolie, 1994) - 26 tracks, live from a 1993 US arts council tour in many styles, including Appalachian, African and Irish. Revered 1961 Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs album Foggy Mountain Banjo formed the bluegrass template (in 25 minutes).

Harmonica How do you know when a harmonica player is at the door? He can never find the key and he comes in whenever he likes.

The 20-note, 10-hole, blow-draw, free-reed mouth organ was developed in Germany in 1825. In 1857 the clockmaker Matthias Hohner made 700 in his kitchen and exported them through migrant relatives in the US. In 1887 his company made 1 million harmonicas; in 1930, 25 million. In 1947 the Harmonicats' Peg o' My Heart outsold all other records in the US, persuading the musicians union to admit harmonica players. In 1951, Little Walter, playing with Muddy Waters, pioneered amplified harmonica. On December 16, 1965, US astronaut Wally Schirra blew Jingle Bells in space. In 1986 Hohner made its billionth harmonica (estimated sales to women: four).

Melodica There is no melodica joke, in the interests of certain sensitive children (who should probably be practising anyway).

Created by Hohner in the 1960s, it's possibly the tamest-looking instrument ever designed, but allegedly cool with tube and mouthpiece. It can have a haunting, "spaghetti western" sound.

Instrumentals: A free-reed system with air chamber, mouthpiece and keyboard; cost $60 to $150. The B-52 of melodicas is the Asian-made L-37. "L" is for loud - about three times the usual volume. Production ceased recently; remainders are about $200.

Choice cuts: East of the River Nile, by Augustus Pablo (Shanachie, 1977;). Melodica maestro Pablo (Horace Swaby) was a canonical figure in Jamaican reggae and dub. These non-dub instrumentals, backed by the pick of local musicians in Lee Perry's Black Ark Studio and mixed by King Tubby, are amazing.

Cowbell What's brown and sounds like a cowbell? Dung.

Dating back almost as far as cows, the cowbell has an earthy, elemental quality when slipped into loud music. The cowbell-spotting cult regards Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper as iconic after it featured in a Saturday Night Live sketch in which Christopher Walken played the track's producer: "I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell."

Instrumentals: Heavy, seam-free steel to withstand drumsticks; usually classified under Latin percussion; cost about $80, stand with set of five bells from $200.

Sightings: Surprisingly common, from Olivia Newton-John's Physical to New Order's Perfect Kiss, from Eminem's Real Slim Shady to Britney Spears's Hit Me Baby (One More Time). One was recently hung on Elvis's A Little Less Conversation remix, and Lady Marmalade from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack.

Choice cuts: Check credits of favourite songs. Or settle on Honky Tonk Woman from the Stones' Let it Bleed. The cowbell is the tonk.

Bongos What is the best thing to play bongos with? Razor blades.

Brought by African slaves to Cuba, where the name derived from the "bonko enchemiya" in the 1880s, they were developed by the "bongoseros" in groups playing early Cuban son music. Hippies gave them a bad name, leading to "no bongos" signs in rock pubs.

Instrumentals: Held between the knees and played with hands and fingers; the drums are male (macho) and female (hembra). The smaller, male one is tuned more tightly. Synthetic skins have largely replaced rawhide; bodies are plastic, fibreglass or timber; cost $60 to $300-plus.

Sightings: So widely used in music requiring Latino flavour or organic percussive fill, they often go uncredited; Stevie Wonder is an expert.

Choice cuts: Cuban-born Armando Peraza (heard on more than 100 albums dating back to Charlie Parker) played with Carlos Santana for 18 years; check out the 1974 Borboletta album.

Tambourine How do you keep two tambourine players in time? Shoot one of them.

The "drum with cymbals" or "noisy handclap" is pre-Biblical. It came to rock music via belly dancing, the ancient Romans, Renaissance travelling minstrels and military bands. Emotionally, it's a counterpoint to the melodica, or as Robert Plant put it: "Life is a big tambourine/The more that you shake it, the better it seems."

Instrumentals: Ideally, natural hide stretched around steam-bent hardwood; from seven to more than 20 alloy "jingles", circular or half-moon.

Choice cuts: The Beatles - all four fabs banged their beloved tambourine at some stage, and Lennon maxed out with Instant Karma.

Kazoo No joke: when playing metal kazoos in very cold weather, beware of lip cling.

Based on the bone-and-hide mirliton, used by African witchdoctors to impersonate voices of the dead, the kazoo as we know it was invented in Macon, Georgia, by African-American Alabama Vest in the 1840s. The Original American Kazoo Company set up in 1916 with the first machines for making metal kazoos. They are still producing, in a working museum in Eden, New York. OAKC was bought in 1985 by Brimm's, which has reintroduced plastic kazoos as common toys in the US, where there is a grassroots push to make them the national musical instrument.

Instrumentals: a technical step-up from humming into tissue paper over a comb ("blue blowing" in jazz); metal $5, plastic $3-$4.

Choice cuts: Hard-to-find albums by the most successful kazoo band, the Kaminsky Quartet (1972-90), which made it to the Lincoln Centre; and the Temple City Kazoo Orchestra, a big seller for Rhino Records in the 1970s, whose covers included Stayin' Alive and Whole Lotta Love.