Dibbs hustles away from the persistent pests and suddenly finds himself launched into the air by a cleverly hidden snare. His crippled leg is nearly snapped 5 hp damage as the line yanks him to the overhead and he dangles helplessly like a soiled pinata. The horrid g'rum'lins look eager to find out what's inside as they scamper toward you.

Cap'n - since I was back-peddlin the same route as I came in on... was I just lucky on approach? - as in didn't trigger it.
Also, just a check - did you roll me a Perception chance to see the trap afore I stumbled into it?

Jim looks at the crew members around him, smiling again, before moving up with Kaul and making no attempt to be quiet. "Your powers of persuasion are most effective, Master Kaul. I'm quickly coming to share your opinion of the slip. Did you hear what he said about me? Wounded me to the quick, he did."

Feeling gravity momentarily reverse itself for him Dibbs is left hanging by his sorely wounded and mostly broken leg. Seeing the maniacal grommets continue their approach he reaches within his pantaloons and retrieves a small bottle of liquid.

Holding it out to the green hairs he wards them "Right ye little feckers, I'm holdin some burny juice an unless ye back the feck off I'm gonna set ye on fire." hoping that the buggers at least understand common.

Jim shakes his head and replies quietly, "Not now, mate. Let him stew a bit. Too many eyes on us now to do him quiet-like, and I'd like to stay on the captain's good side." He glances back sidelong at the aforesaid officer. "And she definitely has a good side, so long as she doesn't, you know, turn into a faceless horror or decide to take up with a slip."

"You know I've heard that some of those masts can get mighty slick, what with the fog and mist and all". "Twould be a shame if he was to fall from that height". Dingus says with a questioning look at the others.

1d20 + 12 ⇒ (10) + 12 = 22 Bluff...Non verbal communication.

Spoiler:

Dingus is implying that he could "grease" up the pole".

"But first things first". "Richard is really agitated now". "I think Dibbets might be in a pickle". Dingus heads towards where the two entered the hold.

Halflings are the hot topic for discussion today as the crew confers above on whether to kill or save the pair of slips aboard this ship. The captain looks to have turned her attention elsewhere for the moment.

A hot time below:

The meany mites slow and approach cautiously to encircle the well hung halfling dangling over their green haired heads. They keep their distance and continue their unnerving little song.

I was thinking they'd speak sylvan, but I guess not. Therefore common it is and here's the song:
"It's all for me grog, me jolly jolly grog
It’s all gone for beer and tobacco
Well I spent all me tin on the drinking of gin
And across the wide ocean I wander."
"Where are me rats, me noggy noggy rats?
They’ve all gone for beer and tobacco
Since the deaduns moved in and the meat's getting slim
And the sailors went out for better weather."

Suddenly putting together the inebriated feeling he has with the song lyrics, Dibbets considers his situation a moment. Devoid of any other plan and hoping of buying time if nothing else he puts his heart to voice:
"It’s of dear grog to you I’ll sing,
And to dear grog I’ll always cling,
I like my cup filled to the brim,
And I’ll drink all you’d like to bring."

Making some kind of pantomine to get the little buggers to join in the chorus:
"And it’s oh, dear grog, thou art my darling,
And my joy both night and morning."

The Groom lingers near Dingus and the hatch, waiting to hear an update from the gnome. He mutters to his compatriot, "I figure he would call out if he were in over his head. I don't reckon on opening the hatch and risking the Captain's ire, lest he be ball'n for us."

The pink striped little rummies are unimpressed with Dibbets efforts and begin howling another song:
"Put him in the bilge and make him drink it! Put him in the bilge and make him drink it! Put him in the bilge and make him drink it! Ear-lie in the Morning!" As they finish, one leaps upon a barrel to release the snag and Dibbs crashes to the deck. 3 hp non-lethal and prone.and the waiting gremlins fall on the hapless halfling with tooth and claw! total of 7 hp.

Kaul:

For a moment you almost imagine you hear your little buddy engaged in a drinking song.

I think the Groom is the only one remaining near the hatch as Dingus appears to be speaking with the others forward.
-Dingus and Jim
Round 5
the Groom
Kaul / Dibbets
Sailors / HH
RG
Dingus
Jim

Mentally cursing as his entreaties seemed to almost take root before the malingering muppets thought otherwise, Dibbets has scant moments to run his scatterbrain before he falls to the deck with a thump... and lines of red open upon his chest and back from the ministrations of claws and teeth. Cannae feckin touch the bastards... cannae run as I'll jus hit anuvver of tha bloody snares... the futility of his fight becoming evident.

Body going slack and eyes closed, Dibbs exhales a prayer unto the indifference of his lord on high... and plays dead-ish.

Bluff: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (8) + 8 = 16Attempting to deceive them into thinking that I'm already dead or passed out - so Dibbs can get an idea of what next for him... if the buggers start chewing then Dibbs will wake up quick smart.

The groglings stop their attack and poke the halfling once or twice to make sure he's dead. Then they grab the rope still tied around his ankle and start dragging him across the deck singing:
There is rum rum, rum on a pirate ship
If you drink too much the ship will tip
Drinking rum rum, rum on a pirate ship
You'd better share! you'd better share!

Lingering by the hatch, the Groom swears he hears someone below decks singing drinking songs. Could be Dibbets, but the squeaky voice seems to be singing in 3-part harmony?

"I don't know, mate. Sounded like Dingus' detachable trouser snake spotted something troubling. Though a drunken Dibbets may qualify.... Stay put a minute and smile nice at the crew while I have a recce. I find anything potable, I'll bring some back for you, so don't fash yourself."

Jim saunters over towards the Groom. As he nears Besmara's chosen he murmurs, "Check my wake for watchers, if you would."

Kaul's theatrics grab everyone's attention for a moment. Half-Hitch notices for certain and suddenly appears midway up the fore-mast shouting, "There ya are! He's as crazy as a flayleaf addled loon! And a demon monkey worshiper, too! Stop him before he hexes us all!"

Jim uses the opportunity to push aside a warped board and slip into the hold as Dingus hisses a warning.

Below decks, Jim sees a strange sight: in the dim light streaming past him, three odd pot-bellied little humanoids, even smaller than Dibbets, are pushing the apparently dead halfling down the stairs to the lower hold where something squeaks hungrily in the darkness.
anyone entering the hold make a DC 12 fort save.

the Groom mutters, "Stay alert down there, there seems to be a small chorus of drunks."

Turning his attention to the distractions on deck, "I thought I showed you the error of your ways, Half-Hitch. There is only a couple layers of wood between you and a special pet of my Queen." He holds out his hand and calls up a small wave of water that he pats like a pet before it fades back to the deck. Calls on one use of Surge for dramatic effect.

Dibbs tries to maintain the charade... but the squeaks and sloshing disturb him enough to act. Eyes snapping open he gives the rummy midgets a maniacal smile before...

Want to check if it's legal / ok before posting in full. Since the blaggards are pushing me - I'm assuming that they've crowded my space?
Dibbs wants to crawl past them (5ft prone movement provoking AoO) and try and gust o' wind them down the stairs. Would that work?

Roger that Cap'n... not much point taking the AoOs in that case then - given that I wouldn't get a spell in this round due to the overrun taking up the standard action - and the rummies would just step back over to me and kill me off (since I'm prone currently).

...finally offering some resistance to the gremlin's shoves and seeking to stand.

Standard action - total defence for an AC of 20, then stand from prone as a move action (provoking methinks)

"Hang on, there. That's our oracle you're dragging off, you little beggars!" Jim closes the distance between him and the tiny trio, rapier out, and if possible punches one solidly with his rapier hilt.

Kaul seethes as his nemesis pops out again to spout lies or maybe half-lies about Kaul and Tum-Bobo. Hand on his axe, Kaul looks as though he might actually chop the rascal out of the mast.

Capt. Miro has had enough, "That was your last warning, you two. Hog tie 'em, boys! We'll see if we can sweat the ill humor out of them!"

A half dozen sailors quickly pile on Kaul, punching and kicking the former pressganger while the rest go after the Hitch. Kaul- you get an AoO, then hit four times for a total of 18 hp and 14 hp sneak attack.

*******

Below, Dibbets stands up nimbly avoiding the the gremlins' response. They continue to block his way up however and one manages to sink it's needle-like teeth in the halfling's arm. Dibbs -3 hp

Then it's Jim to the rescue as Dingus pries open the remainder of the hatch. Sunlight streams in from above partially illuminating the stairs to the lower hold as Jim dances down the first flight. Oddly, he nearly stumbles there as he suddenly feels as if he’s had a couple cups of Grog. -3 Dex damage.

Upon spotting the freaky foot-tall green haired waifs, Jim smashes his pommel onto the surprised creature's face, breaking a few teeth, but the rubbery creature seems only slightly dazed.

"Hey! Whoa! Don't break 'im. You will be plenty glad to have him if and when that cloud catches us. Unlike the other one, worth nothing but cowering in a corner and making eyes at the women." But the Groom holds his hands away from his weapons.

If it is good a pummeling they are delivery, the Groom will saunter over and retrieve the axe. He will rest on it blade down watching the struggle, but out of the corner of his eye, watch the activity at the hatch.

Jimmer finds young Dibbets a frightful sight. Bleeding from a myriad of bites and claw marks, while his face has a blooming bruise and his poor mangled leg seems more bent than usual... and yet... he seems drunk? Smiling the grin of a demented gnome Dibbs blurts "Hey Jimmer... get a grip on summat" stumbling a bit further down the stairs before spinning on a heel and summoning a thunderous burp from his nethers.

The belch builds from a slow intensity to a thunderous exhalation of stale air with just a hint of sausage...