Now, this isn’t going to be one of those men’s health articles about why masturbating is good for you. I’m not going to go into details about how testosterone levels are affected or any of that other crap.

What I want to discuss with you today, is a few simple reasons why masturbating is good for you in general. Some people go on the “no fap challenge” for various reasons, and I just simply can’t commit to something like that. If I’m not busting a nut in any shape or form for a few days, then I feel flat mentally and my dick wants to burst out of any pants I’m wearing as I get hornier and hornier.

There are several benefits for masturbating which is what I’m going to go into today. The longest I’ve gone without doing it is about 10 days, and that was because I couldn’t really. I was in pain. I’d nearly torn my banjo string with a girl and I’d needed to give it a rest. Funnily enough, I found the 10 day absence quite easy. My body must have known that I should keep my hands well clear of my junk, so wasn’t too arsed itself.

But when you’re fit and healthy, here are a few good reasons why masturbating is good for you:

1) It reduces horniness and allows you to be smoother with girls

When you bust a nut, it’s akin to cleansing yourself of some evil spirit. For a short while after you masturbate, you don’t want to think about being with other girls. You don’t want anything to do with them and you can focus on other things that are more important, like making money or completing a project without the distraction of your dick making you think about sex.

And, of course, if you’re chatting up girls, it makes you more aloof because you aren’t as bothered. Instead of coming across as a sex-hungry desperate pervert, you can be cooler, more relaxed, and you can give off a better vibe.

2) You know if the girl you like is a keeper

I’ve written about it before, but when you’ve shot your load, you become less bothered about the girl you’re thinking about or have just had sex with. If you’re dating a girl and feel yourself catching the love bug, there’s one simple test to determine whether you’re catching feelings for her: have a wank!

Yep, it’s that simple. If you toss your salad and think about her, finish yourself off and still want to see that girl, you’re falling for her, my friend. If you don’t want anything to do with her after you’ve had your private time, then you know the situation you’re in – she’s just a fuck buddy!

3) It’s so much cheaper than dating or getting a whore

When I’ve had dry spells and had no wingman to go out with me, or had no motivation to go out and pick up girls, it becomes a real test of my character. Ever since I started having regular sex, I can’t go too long without it otherwise I start to go a bit crazy for it.

There have been times where I think I should pay for a brass for an hour to have my fill without all the drama of picking up girls, getting their numbers, asking for dates, wondering who is going to text back and so on. It’s a stupid thing to do in my opinion unless you’ve got a lot of spare cash lying around or have a regular income which it won’t make a difference for.

I’ve caught myself looking at sites before wondering if I should do it. An easy way to save £100 and get the results I’m after? Have a wank! No more horniness, money in my bank still and no masses of time spent chasing after girls and going on dates.

This is a real lazy way of doing things, but when you’ve got more important stuff happening in your life, save yourself the time and have a tommy tank. Not everything has to be about girls.

4) Keep your dignity – don’t shag that 4!

Again, going back to dry spells, some of you may consider sleeping with that easy 4 just to get your end away. You may go on a dating site or Tinder and find the first girl that would have sex with you, regardless of how she looks. Enough alcohol will make you horny enough to mount anything, and the 4 turns into a 7 when you’ve had a few.

If you find yourself in this situation, don’t do it! I’ve done it before and felt like shit afterwards. You may not think it at the time when you’re horny as hell and would shag anything to get rid of the feeling but trust me, sit down in front of some porn and have your wicked way with yourself. Order a pizza afterwards. Revel in the time you have to yourself instead of trying to shamefully kick a nasty skank out of your apartment. You’ll feel better for it afterwards.

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Of course, I want you guys to go out there and get laid, but even the biggest playas are still having fun with themselves. To the Indian guy that hit on my French girl on Oxford Street and failed, just keep tugging your little willy, mate. You’ve got no hope.