Chez Stephens

Monday, June 6, 2011

Tonight, the girls (the almost eight year old and the eight month old - excellent family planning!) and I visited Target for the typical baby purchases: new size 18mos onesies for the "small" one. *Insert audible sigh.*

As we departed in the 6:30 p.m. heat of 90+ degrees in June (which, let the records show, I welcome!), Sophie spotted a new friend on the concrete blocks above the blazing asphalt - a massive, gorgeous moth.

We snapped a few photos, and Sophie gazed at her pal wistfully. Two things kicked in for me: Mommy/let's learn mode and "all wild things are good and free" mode (thanks, Audra!). The former prevailed. Honestly, I felt sorry for (at the time) him in that concrete jungle. He was moving slowly, if at all, thanks to the heat. I suggested we bring him home to our garden to have a little better and more pleasant chance. I lifted him carefully and set him in our cart next to the milk, and promised Sophie he would not fly away. At the car, he seemed more than happy to oblige us by moving into one of my canvas go home baskets (oh, the irony!). The box sat in Sophie's lap, and she grinned at him the whole way home.

Once arrived, we agreed that she could wait on Fred to get home to discuss her new friend. She read a few books and anointed him Al (it was supposed to be Owl due to his markings, but Aunt Jo misunderstood...).

She was massive - wings each nearly the size of Sophie's hands. Fred arrived and helped her identify a female Hyalophora cecropia, and she became Ally instead. We agreed that she could visit Tillery Elementary tomorrow for the last day of school, since little else is likely to be planned. Tragically, her life cycle is no more than 7 - 10 days, and her sole purpose to find a mate. She won't eat or drink anything during her short life, and although my guilt continued, my love of Sophie's exploration and enthusiasm prevailed.

These days, we're not paying much attention to official bedtimes and duties. Summer is past due, and riding a bike around the neighborhood or climbing trees suddenly seems more important to me, and most certainly to Sophie. So, 9:00 p.m. approached and passed, and it grew dark outside. We ate dinner on the front porch and tried to endure the increasing mosquitos, and we spotted some early fireflies. We agreed that Ally's home (still the canvas box, now with a piece of newspaper on top) was grossly inadequate. We moved to a glass vase, which she did not approve of in the least, and then finally to a wire basket with a little foil over the top, which proved lightweight but had handles for her eminent trip to school tomorrow.

Then, things became rather interesting. Our new pal thrashed around, and just as we grew a little worried, she found a still spot on the edge of the wire basket, and we had a perfect view. She started laying eggs in a line - 10, then 20, then 40 (at last count). Sophie wriggled with excitement, her eyes were massive. We hung the basket high on a wrought iron hook in the living room in the dark, and Sophie begged Fred to hold her up high. With a little bead of light, we watched her progress and cheered her on inside. She rested, we left her.

Her markings were gorgeous. We watched 10% of her life. While I'm conflicted by taking her into our home rather than letting her go on her preferred silver maple as intended, I think that it may not be in vain. In this house lives a little girl who knows that every critter has a role, and her sense of interest and respect for all of us, our lifespan and our jobs on this planet is intact, if not growing. I think it might be worth it.

The house is dark, and Ally is still. I wonder if she'll be alive tomorrow, but I think she will, and I think a class of first graders might appreciate her and her work. As a mom, I think I have the smallest semblance of that moment in the hours following such life-giving effort and an appreciation for that feeling of quiet, proud exhaustion. At the very least, there is nothing like inspiring a sense of awe, curiosity and wonder in a child. Regardless of the fate of her eggs, Ally's life was most certainly not in vain - I know a little girl who will always appreciate the things she encounters in nature, and she and they will both be better for it.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Today, my toes have mostly been in the sun. So have Ainsley's, although hers were kickedy-kicking most of the afternoon. Meanwhile, Sophie climbed the holly tree to death-defying heights.

She paused to make herself lunch, which is always amusing to me because she is so particular about it. She rounds out the portions (dairy, veggie, fruit) just as I would, carefully arranges the items on her plate, and always elects to pour her milk into a proper ceramic mug rather than a childish cup.

Today, I found her eating and singing on the front porch. Everything she does reminds me of Frances, the little badger in the Bread & Jam for Frances (and other) books. She had picked one of the first spring blooms from the yard (thoughtfully - she said she didn't want to kill the whole plant) and placed it in the tiniest vase by her plate.

Be still, my heart.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone... because some thoughts need to be shared before they vanish!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Sophie and I were chatting the other night as she was winding down for the night. She looked out the window and said "There's that cat. I see him every single night." It was a bob-tailed cat, and she said it crossed the parking lot across from her bedroom around the time she went to sleep every night.

Since she has been intrigued by all the first grade work she's been doing on patterns, I thought it was a great time to play into that thought process. My reply: "That's a routine, which is kind of like a pattern - it's something that happens every single day. I like routines, because I can look forward to them and know what to expect - they're comforting. Can you think of some other routines that you have in your life that make you feel good?"

She said she liked every morning when her alarm clock goes off and she comes to get in bed with us and snuggle for a few minutes. She likes getting dressed by the fireplace on cold mornings. She really likes the breakfast she's been having recently: whole wheat toast with a little butter and cinnamon sugar, half a grapefruit and milk. She said she liked when Daddy carried her to bed every night, and snuggling with us at bedtime. She even admitted that she likes when we make her lunches together for the whole week, and although she didn't confess to liking her daily chores, she did like marking them off her chore list. Amen, sister. There's nothing like marking things off a to do list. In fact, I've been known to jot something down that I've already done just for the satisfaction of crossing it off. Yes, I'm that cool.

All good thoughts, but most comforting to me was the idea that a seven year old gets it, and that she can speak thoughtfully about what is important in her life. I find my life is better every time I embrace routines, and that it feels frantic and chaotic when I let them slip. Last week was a busy one in our work and home lives, and I feel like my control of our house (and my car, ugh!) has slipped away. I'll be making time to get those things back in order this week so that we can slip comfortably back into our predictable routines. They make us feel like we can control a thing or two in life, and more importantly, they give us more time to hang out together.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

As of today, I've transitioned our former www.ainsleybelle.blogspot.com to this broader family blog. Because, let's face it - as much as she is likely to grow up thinking the world revolves around her, it probably doesn't. :)

The littlest angel drew this fun angel - love it. She looks like a kind of pouty and perturbed seven year old angel.

Sophie has added this standard scene of the baby Jesus and an angel to all her Christmas drawings in the upper left corner, sort of signature style - lest we forget the meaning of the season, apparently.

Another custom work on the dining room chalkboard.

Gigi and Ainsley have a private conversation.

The last slumber party of 2010, complete with a trip to Kirby's Kupcakes.

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About Our Family

Fred & I met in Magnolia, Arkansas at Southern Arkansas University in 1995 and were married in Texarkana in 1999. We have lived in northwest Arkansas since 1998 - first in Fayetteville, then Rogers since 2004. Sophie joined us in 2003, and Ainsley completed our family in 2010.

We live in a fantastic old (1905) house in historic downtown Rogers that is constantly in need of more attention. Its best assets are plenty of old trees and a great rope swing in the front yard.

We enjoy biking, hiking, camping, working around our yard and garden and frequenting the Rogers Farmers' Market and local farm stands to whip up different, healthy meals. We make a (sort of) annual bike trip along the Katy Trail, and can't wait to try some new Rails To Trails adventures as a family. We also enjoy hanging out in downtown Rogers, from "Chips & Salsa" (Las Palmas) to Brick Street Botanical.

Our girls' paternal grandparents (Robert & Maggie Stanford) as well as LOTS of aunts and uncles (Tinker & Karen, Jerry & Lesia, Kenneth, Ricky, Pam & Casey, Ann and Jackie) and cousins live in and around El Dorado, Arkansas. Their maternal grandparents (Bill & Glennis Mallett) live in Texarkana, Arkansas, right next to the Texas-Arkansas state line. Ultimately, they promise to move to their land on Beaver Lake just outside Rogers. Aunt Jo lives precisely 3 miles from our front door in Rogers with her dog/best friend Patches and recent addition Cheez-It the cat, and she works at Walmart world headquarters.

Sophie is a first grader and a Brownie Girl Scout and plays for a U7 soccer team. She likes playing outside barefoot, enjoying her upstairs playroom and spending time with our two ducks and two cats following her around the yard as though she is Dr. Doolittle. We love watching her grow up in a special home with neighborhood friends, firefly catching and a few friendly snakes in the yard. Her current notable habit is narrating her life with constant songs just like Frances.

Ainsley is proving to be an animated child who is very social - she likes to be right in the middle of the action. She has many fun years ahead of her with Sophie showing her the way - which she will no doubt follow and diverge from as she sees fit.