Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Leaving home, Going home

So hard to say good-bye to my out of town siblings and their families last night :(

Looking forward to reuniting my daughter with her daddy and some of her favorite family members :)

Dreading the last good-byes to the rest of my family, especially knowing that Katya won't understand the permanency of these good-byes :(

There have been so many, what shall I call them?, mental conflicts? Watching one of those remodeling shows and realizing that the amount of money they spent on the dining room would be enough for us to live on for almost 3 years.Watching the way some people here use water (turning on the water before even putting the toothpaste on the brush...), knowing my husband barely had enough water to bathe, do laundry, etc. Watching what people here consider to be 'in need' or on a tight budget, knowing the abundance they actually have in comparison with my situation or that of many I know.Watching what some girls are comfortable wearing here these days, even to church, coming from a culture of knee length or longer.Enjoying the comforts and comfort foods of home, yet simultaneously feeling a little out of place and looking forward to the simplicity and honestly healthier lifestyle of home.Struggling with faith, knowing that it "is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen", and seeing the needs and unknowns of our life. (For example, we've been gifted with more than half of what we need for the birth in a private hospital - hooray! But of course, that means that a little less than half is still needed....My husband has a job, but 100% commissions do not add up to what we need, and no other job has opened up...)

Sorry to say that I am too tired to come up with a good ending to this, but at least I managed to get one more post in before I go, and included at least most of what has been rattling around in my brain of late...

God, please cover Sheila if she ever reads anon's comment. Please don't let her take it to heart or allow it to "stick" on her. Please wash it off of her. It hurt my heart to read it, and I'm not even the one for whom it was intended. And even though it's really hard to pray this and I'd rather do something different, please bless anon with the gift of compassion and the ability to see and understand what Sheila has been sharing these many months as she is making Mexico her home. Wow. Please just cover Sheila right now and bless her family.

Wow life can be hard right? I always ask myself the same thing but the only answer I come up with is that's life right.Recently I've been having problems too with family and friends. Drama the usual. But what would you do if you had to choose between one side of your family and the other.

On one the side of your grandparents, and friends.The other your birth father and his children and your step mom and 2 children. Of all of whom anoy me. The steps are controlitive and get whatever they wish. My father is somewhat abusive, and i dislike his religion of which he makes me attend, and if we dont attend we still follow. He is a Jehovah witnesses, they do not celebrate any holodays and i am unable to spend time wiht my friends and even watch most tv because its immature.

I dont wish to leave him and make him evan more depressed but i cant stand his new wife and child.In January I have the choice of becoming emancipated. IDK WHAT TO DO CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?

About Me

I am a very family oriented person, the oldest of 7 kids...and left everything I knew in Rochester, NY, in Dec 08 to move to Mexico and marry the wonderful man I love. Our first child (Katya) arrived September 25th, 09. Joshua arrived exactly 2 years later, to the day (and almost to the hour!). About the time he was born, we started the process of getting my husband a green card, and in June of 2011 we made the move up to Rochester.