Monday, August 29, 2011

Luke 9:58

Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

I had a depressing day today for I encountered some unexpected issues, which reminded me of the reality of being an international student. Although it wasn’t my first time being an international student, it can still be quite discouraging when things got out of hand.

In my last night in Taiwan before reporting to my school in the US, I spent some time rearranging my wallet. One after one, I took out my ID card, national insurance card, driver license, bank cards, hospital cards, discount cards, name cards and every other card that reveals my identity and nationality. I arranged them, and felt distressed while I was putting them away in a drawer. By putting them away, I was putting away my comfortable and sufficient life. I’m walking away in the most valuable period of time in my career life, and leaving my family and my beloved dog behind.

I had doubt, wondering if what I’m doing is worthy. Sometimes I still do. But then I thought of what Jesus said to the man who sought to follow Him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Following Jesus is not going somewhere for vacation. There would be fun, there would be sorrow, and mostly it would be hard.

I have no time to look back, I have no room for self-pity, and I have no turning back. I just wanna solve the problem and get it over with. I had been unexpectedly emotional today, but not any again.