--- Quote from: survivor703 on October 09, 2012, 09:44:28 AM ---Thanks meech for the stern, but kind words... it's great to have someone to talk to about my deepest fears. I still haven't told a soul except for my partner that I'm poz. I know that when I start meds, that may have to change though... seems my whole world will change.

--- End quote ---

Hey you still haven't spilled on what your deepest fears are. Try to elaborate....

Obviously affording medical care and HAART are challenges. What are the other fears, though? Most people have pretty good experience with HAART these days.

How is your whole life going to change? It already changed when you got HIV. When you get the financing in order for the treatment, I don't see other negatives, about going on HAART. There are advantages.... Can you imagine what the advantages are?

mecch:
Also, going on HAART, how does this change who you have to disclose to? Maybe only those involved in the financing... I don't see any major changes being required, as for disclosure.

drewm:

--- Quote from: mecch on October 09, 2012, 08:32:25 AM ---What exactly is the fear and worry? Spell it out so people here can dissuade you with facts and experience.

You have had HIV since the day the virus got hold of your body. Whether you needed HAART or not was only secondary. YOu had it sine then and by most accountings, you'll have it forever. Its a manageable disease and has been for a long time, by virtue of the existence of good medicine.

These fears seem more concrete and if you haven't already figured out this aspect of living with HIV - how am I going to afford and access care and treatment - now is the time.

--- End quote ---

Mecch is right on. Please consider this. I had HIV long before I was diagnosed. When I was, eventually dxd, it's was AIDS defining. CD 8 and VL 500,000. That being matter of fact, two months on Atripla had my labs to HIV levels (actually undetectable and CD 4 was in the respectable 300's). While I can understand your concern over your labs, panic (fear) over taking meds is a problem.

This disease is manageable and while you have been doing that without meds, perhaps you need to start. At any rate, it's time to talk with your doc and try your best not to panic. Fear and panic can and will destroy reason.

tednlou2:
He was just diagnosed in February. It is completely understandable to have fears about meds and coming to terms with feelings about that.

mecch:
Of course it is. I should have known better when I caught HIV a couple years back. Lived through all the breaking news through the 90's and after. And still I had lots of unfounded fears and panic about HAART. That's why its helpful for someone new to lay out what exactly the fears are, to see if anything can be clarified and help anxiety go down.