February 20, 2013

Remember how much I love L.A. and how much I miss it? If you don't, you can read my love letter to that beautiful and wonderful city here.

I was going to go visit over MLK weekend, but then I got in a car accident and my car was totaled and I got major whiplash and was in a ton of pain and couldn't make the trip. It really sucked. So I went this weekend! And it was glorious and wonderful and fun and fabulous.

A view out the window as we landed. When we touched down, I started giggling and grinning and couldn't stop. I was so happy to be back!

Welcome home!

My dear friend Hayley was kind enough to let me stay with her. She is my sisters' friend who I have known for a really long time. She could definitely blackmail me with embarrassing stories. I am an idiot and therefore forgot to get a picture with her.

Hayley let me take her car to drive to Tarzana to meet my friend Patria to go to Six Flags. I loved driving through LA again. I always thought the 405 is a really pretty drive. I met Patria at her house and we were off to Six Flags!

At the beginning of the day, ready to ride on all the roller coasters!

This ride was actually really disappointing and hurt my thighs from the pull down thing that keeps you in your seat and it was really short ride.

That's Tatzau. The line was suuuuuuuuuuuper long so we didn't ride on it but it's okay cause I had already been on it.

I did remember to take a picture with Patria! She has a season pass and goes to Six Flags roughly every week so she knew the place backwards and forwards and knew all kinds of tricks to skip lines!

That night we went to her ward Valentine's Day party. I made a Valentine and entered it in a contest but it did not win. It was sad.

The next day, Hayley and I went to Knotts Berry Farm! I had never been.

This baby was intense. 85 miles an hour, goes up 205 feet and shoots down at a 90 degree angle. I think my favorite ride was actually the wooden roller coaster called ghostrider. It drops really steeply and then when you think the ride is over, it drops again! I liked Knotts, it was super fun.

We left the park earlier than we wanted to because I had a meeting with a producer. But then she emailed me right as we left the park and said she needed to reschedule. Ugh. So we went back to Hayley's house and chilled until I met up with my friend Tyler for dinner. I also forgot to get a picture with him but he did manage to take an awkward picture of me.

We went to this little cafe in the valley that was actually really good. Tyler is from South Africa and I just love his accent. It is quite awesome. He has some big projects coming up and is also a writer. Good to be friends with that boy, he is going places and I am hitching my wagon to a very very successful and well connected ride.

The next day I went to my old work to meet with my former boss. You are looking at the building I interned at. The office looked super different as they had remolded. It was weird. It was good to visit my old work and my meeting was very encouraging and helpful and he gave me a lot of good advice. He also gave me an idea for a new show that I am really excited to write.

I went back to Hayley's house, packed my suitcase and then we were off to Santa Monica Pier. I am such a tourist. Hayley kept laughing at me every time I took a picture and gave me a weird look that said "you lived here. Why are you acting like you have never been here?" I just was so excited to be back I had to take pictures of everything! Even though I had already seen it.

View of the pier. Breathtakingly beautiful.

We walked to the end of the pier and stared out at the ocean. Then Delta called me informing me my flight was delayed. Then they called again and said it was delayed again. No worries, it gave me more time to enjoy the pier!

It was an amazing weekend. LA is as perfect and magical and wonderful and fabulous and amazing and I remembered. I did not build it up in my head. It is not the right time for me live there and that is okay! I did start crying when the plane landed in SLC. I was so sad to leave LA but I will be back one day. And someday, I will go there and never leave. And what a magical day that will be.

February 14, 2013

These are my valentines. Don't you love Oliver's face? He really does look like a gangsta, just staring at you, daring you to cross him. I wonder what Eli and Lincoln are looking at. And baby girl just knew she looked cute and rocked that outfit for all it was worth.

I am going to make chocolate covered strawberries with my roommates and probably watch a chick flick. I also think I might buy myself flowers. The radio was asking single people what they were doing tonight so I called and I got through! I talked to the DJs but they didn't put me on the radio. It was still pretty cool.

I love my family
I love the gospel of Christ
I love being done with college
I love my life
I love my space heater that makes my room so warm and cozy
I love my niecephews
I love my grandparents
I love my aunts and uncles and cousins
I love television
I love Los Angeles
I love to travel
I love that I have time to read books
I love writing scripts

I feel grateful for all the love I have in my life this Valentine's Day and am very grateful for the love I see around me. And I am oh so very thankful for the babies that are in my life. What little blessings they are. And I am soooo excited that I get another niece in May! I can't wait.

And and I am grateful I get to go to Los Angeles tomorrow. Literally counting down to the seconds. I can't wait.

February 6, 2013

Sometimes I have dreams about being back in Los Angeles and in the dream I start crying because I missed it so much. And then I wake up and by the time I am in the shower I am crying for real.

I don't know how to fully explain my love for LA. I have said it in before and I will say it again. There was never an adjustment period for when I was in LA. From the moment I pulled in, I thought "ya, I've lived here my whole life. Of course I have. I am so immediately comfortable here, this is the only logical explanation as to why I feel like I am finally....home."

I felt like that from the moment i arrived. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged. For the first time in my life, I felt like I FIT IN. I felt...........complete.

Utah is a wonderful place filled with families and hard working people but they aren't power hungry enough. It isn't big enough. There isn't enough creativity going on. Everyone is Mormon. I like being the only Mormon around because I get the opportunity to have so many missionary experiences. I'm perfect for this business we call show, it is in my blood. I am perfect for this business and this business is perfect for me and LA is perfect.

I am a writer. I write sitcom scripts. I write television. Comedy television. I love television (Kenneth Parcel anyone??). I will go back. My dreams will come true and things will work out. I will move back. But in the meantime I going to visit next weekend and I COULDN'T BE MORE EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I always said that I will never visit and the next time i come is when I move there but I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!! 10 days!!!! Counting the minutes. Literally. I have a countdown app on my phone.

Things I miss:

1. the climate. It's so warm. It doesn't snow, as opposed to the death that is winter here in Salt Lake.

2. the palm trees. it is so pretty there. there are so many trees! we don't have trees here!

3. the beach

4. that is the entertainment capital of the world

5. the people. they are all so creative and excited to create and driven

6. the size of the city. i love big cities.

7. the hollywood hills. i miss driving around them to get to work everyday. and i miss driving to the top of the hill to pick up my boss to bring him to the office because he hadn't driven home from the bar the night before and therefore didn't have a car.

8. reading scripts all day everyday. so many scripts.

9. having a say on whether or not the script should be made. having people value my opinion. bliss.

LA, my goodness I love you. You are the love of my life. Man oh man oh man my goodness oh my word geez omg i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you. i will live in that city forever. my whole life. i will die in that city. i will be buried in that city. i can't wait to be a california resident, lets make my love for you official, my dear los angeles.

February 5, 2013

This is my grandmother Arlene. Arlene Paul. She is my father's mother and he is named after her (Paul.) Isn't she pretty? Do you think I look like her? She was in her 20s in this picture, I believe. (Thanks to either my cousin or aunt for giving me this picture years ago. I don't remember who gave this to me, but thank you.)

I've been thinking a lot about her lately. I have never met her, but she is still an example to me. My dad has told me so many stories about her and she was an amazing woman.

I had made a difficult but right decision the other day and was talking to my dad about it and he reminded me of a story about my grandmother that I had heard my whole life. In the story, she was in the exact situation I was in at the moment and she had made the right decision. She had made the hard choice, but it was the right choice. I was so proud of her and of myself. I felt so connected to her and proud of both of us that we were strong enough to do the right thing.

This is not the only time I have followed her example. I think of her examples often like when I pay my tithing. She is the reason I pay my tithing. Because of a story my dad told me. She is the reason I have never been in an unhealthy relationship. Because she was in many and I know how it affected her family and her. She is the reason for a lot of things I do.

Sometimes I feel as though I can feel her presence. She died years before my dad even married and a decade before I was born and it has always made me sad that I never met her. But then I remember that we had ten beautiful years together in heaven. I'm sure we were best friends and I can feel her watching down on me sometimes. I feel as though I know her. And even though I have never met her, I miss her often. She was such a strong woman. Wow. I love her so much. I miss her so much. And I am a little jealous that my sister is named after her. Rachelle, you have a lot to live up to. But I know you know that.