1. Memories

“I would sell the world for you.” I said with such severity and confidence.

“And you would have nothing…” She trailed off with a look of confusion.

“But you would be happy.” I said, looking at her with loving eyes; knowing she needed to hear that.

Honestly, I would do anything for her and if I could die knowing that she will look back on the memories we shared with profound happiness then my life would be complete. It’s the look she gives me when I walk into a room, the little crinkles at the corners of her eyes when she smiles, the way she rubs her thighs when she orders anything at a restaurant, when she shakes her legs up and down because “it’s a comfort thing”, the way her voice gets higher and faster when she talks to strangers, the way she turns her head and blushes when I tell her that she is the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on, when I’m walking down the street alone and all of a sudden she runs up behind me and intertwines our fingers, how big her mouth gets when she smiles and her laugh… oh her laugh, her laugh could send shivers down your spine it’s so melodic. That’s just a partial list of what i love about her. A list of the little details that make Molly my one and only.

She has no idea what she does to me, no idea of how she makes others feel like they’re the most important person on the planet. Molly is more than the love of my life, she is more than my soulmate, she is more than the girl who grew up in the house across the street. She is the person I wake up for, the person I bother getting out of bed for, she is like the air I breathe; a necessity for life and an instant fill up. I can’t believe I am this lucky to have a wife as beautiful as she, i mean the memories we’ve made are absolutely incredible and no matter how many times I tell her, “thank you” just doesn’t seem enough. Nothing I do will ever measure up to the joy she gives me and i can never reciprocate the love she has for me because it is beyond belief. Molly sees the best in me and she has helped make me into the man I am today. Again, “thank you” will never, ever be enough.

Some people believe in true love, in soulmates, that there is a perfect person out there waiting for you, and I am one of those people; I’m a living example. “Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it,” Roald Dahl puts it best. Molly was the magic I had been searching my whole life for and I will never let it go. I know that she grew up across the street from me and we went to school together but, I didn’t see her as my true love back then, she was just a playmate… one of the guys. So, I guess you could argue that ‘love at first sight’ doesn’t really exist because I had known Molly my whole life and I never experienced it. But, Molly wasn’t the same person now as she was back then and there came a time when I looked at her and I knew that she was the person I wanted to spend my life with. So yeah, I suppose that love at first sight didn't really apply in my case until later but still, you can’t argue with love.

In the tv show Sex in the city, Carrie and her friends are always searching for love and they are always sleeping with random guys and dating every night trying to find their “perfect man.” It took each of them a while to find the right guy to settle down with and that’s what it was like with Molly and I. Even though I had known her my entire life, I didn’t start seeing her as a woman until we were graduated from university with degrees. My life didn’t really even begin until I met her and I thank the stars everyday for sending down such a gorgeous, talented, and amazing woman.

When Molly died, my heart was ripped out of my chest and every bone in my body ached for weeks, months even. We were 78 and she had developed cancer. I know that 78 may seem old to some but she was taken before her time. When she first went into the hospital I never left her side, I even got a call from the electric company asking me if I still lived in my house. I was with her when she woke up, when the doctors did tests, when she tried her best to pretend like she wasn’t hurting through all of it and when she gently closed her eyes at night. She was in the hospital for just over a month before she passed. In the hospital I would silently cry when she smiled and the corners of her eyes crinkled, when she rubbed her thighs while deciding what to have for lunch, when I told a joke and her mouth grew two sizes, when she talked to the new nurses and her voice would get higher, when I walked back into the room from getting her flowers and she would look at me the way she did when we were first dating, and the way she intertwined our fingers at night reminding me that it’s okay to cry in front of her and that everything was going to be all right Even in her last moments she was still my rock, keeping me grounded and safe. I still miss her every single day. I can’t seem to get her out of my head. It’s been four years since she died and now all I have are memories; I look across the street and I can still see her running up behind me and grabbing my hand.

“I would sell the world for you.”

“And you would have nothing...”

“But you would be happy.”

"I am happy."

Those were the last words we spoke to each other and I knew she had to hear them.