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Behind the Success Stories: Adults Who Help but Don’t Nag

Most teenagers who lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off require the encouragement and cooperation of their parents, Anne M. Fletcher found in her study of 104 adolescents who did just that.

Criticism and nagging proved counterproductive. Comments like “Haven’t you had enough?” or “Are you really going to eat that?” from a concerned parent often resulted in defiant behavior, Ms. Fletcher found. Rather than hearing critical remarks, teenagers struggling with weight problems need to be admired for their achievements, encouraged for trying and loved without question.

One mother interviewed by Ms. Fletcher emphasized the importance of teenagers having “ownership” of their efforts.

“If a child is constantly relying on someone who says, ‘Don’t eat this’ or ‘Don’t eat that,’ it doesn’t work,” the mother said. Instead, this mother asked her son in various situations whether he wanted her to point out to him how much he was eating. If he said yes, they established a signal to use between them.

There are many steps parents can take to help young people trying to lose weight, Ms. Fletcher found. They can shop with better nutrition in mind, avoiding high-fat processed foods and meats, and prepare more vegetables and salads with low-fat or fat-free dressings. Snacks like chips and ice cream are best bought in single-serving packages. If the household must stock high-calorie snacks, they should be kept out of sight.

No sugar-sweetened soft drinks allowed! If other family members insist on having soda, the sugar-free ones can be kept on hand, but should be drunk only in moderation. Water was the beverage of choice for the teenagers who lost weight. Skim or 1-percent milk is also helpful, especially because weight loss is often accompanied by bone loss.

Whole-grain breads and cereals should predominate in the home; in addition to being more nutritious, they are more filling.

Many youngsters in Ms. Fletcher’s study got help from parents who joined them in a weight-control program or participated with them in a physical activity, often to the parent’s benefit as well. Having regular family meals was also cited as helpful. And no child, especially not one trying to lose weight, should leave home without breakfast, even if it is eaten on the way to school.