I could go on, but you get the drift. I never found any actual answers to my question that weren’t medical studies. I never found any answers that didn’t just raise more questions.

So I ended up figuring it out as I went along.

I called this place “How to Be a Sober Girl” because I wanted to build something I’d never had: a place where the questions I’d Googled actually came up. To me that’s enough.

But sometimes I feel like I should have called it “Sh*t I Wish I’d Known”. Back then. Back when I was young and scared and drunk and so, so, very unhappy. Sh*t I wish a bigger girl had sat me down and told me. Just so I’d felt less alone. Just so I’d felt more human.

Rhetorical question. Obviously. Especially if you’re at the stage where every article that mentions alcohol lights up for you like a beacon for reasons you aren’t ready to explore yet. That’s okay. No rush.

Obviously it’s not nice to be hospitalised for a week after a drinking session because you threw up so much your throat explodes. No one deserves that.

But here’s the Sh*t You May Not Know:

Not everyone read that and got jealous. Not everyone read that and had a voice say to them “I wish that had been me, then I would have a real reason to stop drinking”.

Here’s More Sh*t I Wish I’d Known:

You don’t need a near-death experience to stop drinking. You don’t need to lose anything. You don’t need an excuse. You don’t need permission. Being unhappy is reason enough. Feeling like this is excuse enough. Living like this is enough.

So if you’ve added “when my throat explodes” to the mental list you’re accumulating entitled “I’ll stop drinking when”? Please know you don’t have to take it that far.