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England netball fans slam media obsession with HaBs

As the England women’s netball squad prepare for next month’s World Cup in Singapore, fans are worried that team harmony is being undermined by media attention on the husbands and boyfriends (HaBs) of the sixteen team members.

‘It’s typical,’ said Brenda Wright of Netball Team United. ‘When Tamsin Greenway is named England vice-captain, it barely gets mentioned. But just because she goes out with one of the most successful plasterers in Watford, he’s all over the papers.’

And the tabloids have recently focussed not on the late call-up for Team Bath Wing Attack Lindsey Keble –who has been granted unpaid leave from her teaching job and clears nearly £600 a week before tax – but on her quite good looking husband.

‘Naomi’s other half is a nice enough bloke and a very capable surveyor,’ she said,’ but if I read another article about his after-shave and how many Asda shirts he has, I’ll throw up my white wine spritzer. Honestly, I’d feel sorry for her if her legs didn’t look so much nicer than mine in a pleated skirt, the jammy cow.’