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The Prothean Archives

chris pratt

I think my main problem with GotG was that it was trying to be different in light of Marvel’s other movie offerings. This is not snarky, cool Iron Man, or badass, cool Captain America, or rip-rolling good times cool Avengers. This is trying-to-be-funny cool Guardians, and sometimes, it works, but mostly the lines were too cheesy, missed their mark, fell flat.

Overly used 80s-90s pop music to make scenes more cool/emotional is not good.

They tried to force the group to become friends too quickly. The bonding didn’t feel earned. At one point, they actually all said to one other “You are my friend” or “… because we are friends”. I think what the director was trying to do was tell us that this ragtag band who didn’t have friends before, suddenly became friends, and kinda’ each had their own moments where they sacrificed themselves for each other in an altruistic way – so you’d think “hey these guys could be just as cool as Iron Man, Thor, Capt America, Hulk, Black Widow, and what’s that arrow-shooting-guy’s name?”

Groot was really good, though it was alarming that movie-goers who thought he was endearing, sweet and heart-warming because he could shoot fireflies out of his body, give flowers to little girls that grew from his palm, and wrap himself into a tight ball around his buddies, forgot that he also had the most gruesome and brutal killscenes of any of the heroes.

Nice work Bradley Cooper, Rocket was awesome.

Nice work Benicio del Toro.

Marvel villains still suck.

The action scenes sucked.

Haha Cosmo.

Haha Howard Duck.

Okay I thought I wouldn’t compare it to the Guardians of the Galaxy comics, but it’s important I bring it up a bit. Sad that they didn’t introduce Mantis (psychic), Phyla-Vell (superwoman-like), Adam Warlock (space magician), pretty much any of the more interesting, colourful characters of the modern GotG series – and I also missed the zany, time-space-universe bending plots that GotG got up to that the more staid Avengers and standard superhero stories didn’t want to touch. Stuff like time-traveling to parallel universes and whatnot.

Instead, this movie was your standard space-but-not-really adventure with aliens-but-actually-just-humans-with-different-skin-colors against interchangeable-space-villain-with-creepy-make-up, and space could actually be land, and at the end, an Earth-like planet was in trouble. I mean Guardians of the Galaxy was about saving the universe, not just a singular planet, right? The ending was pretty much the same last-minute-Hail-Mary-play-by-heroes trope that Avengers used. Bah.