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Monday, May 16, 2011

seven things about me you will wish you didn't know

Space aliens have never really talked to me, but maybe that is a good thing.What if they were foodies, doing an Eat-Around-the-Galaxy tour.Do not want the last word I hear to be, Delicious!Two.

I do not think about naked men all the time.Why do people always think romance writers do that?I mean, who could, all the time?Ridiculous!Just because I find time in my busy day to visit the men's underwear department, now and then, does not mean I do it all the time.Three.

Men do not think about sex all the time, they lied when they answered that question.But romance writers do have to think about it.Nothing wrong with that.Sometimes, afterwards, I smile and think that went well.More often, I complain and say, why do I have to do all the work, why can't you two think of something to do that no one has done before!Sometimes, I sit pensively and wonder if there is another word for that, what were they actually doing, and if they are as exhausted and sweaty as me.Oops, forgot that horses sweat, men perspire and ladies glow--not sure where that leaves me.Four.

I ride a bicycle but it can be embarrassing because I tend to breathe heavily on the uphill bits, like a woman glowing with passion.I have startled men, who wonder what is happening as I peddle furiously up a slope, sounding like half of that old French heavy breathing sexy song.I have taken to singing it as I go, an attempt at heavy breathing disguise, so anyone listening will think I want to sound like that.The song got banned in many countries, and went to the top in Britain, which only goes to show something but I'm not sure what.Five.(No I'm not going to give a link, you must corrupt your own morals.I get in enough trouble singing it.)

Only two more to go.I hope you aren't glowing with anticipation.It can only go downhill from here.

Mind is a blank again.Must be recovering from Four and Five.Can I call this Six or is that cheating?

Seven!At last!If this went on any longer I'd run out of things to tell you.Writing isn't easy because characters will never do what I tell them to do.Sometimes, they sulk and refuse to go there and do that.Sometimes, they have a brilliant idea, and I wish I'd thought of it.Sometimes, they wander around naked.I tell her, Go put some clothes on!When she has gone, I talk to him.Just talk!Remember, the sweaty glowing bit was in Four.

Melanie Robertson-King awarded me the Versatile Blogger award, which is where I got the idea for telling you seven things about me.But let's not blame Melanie for any of the above.I daren't even claim my award.