Thursday, November 11, 2010

WHY SAN FRAN THE FUCK?!

When Shaun Prescott approached me wanting to do a 'Why The Fuck' themed interview for his blog Under the Rostrum (under-the-rostrum.blogpsot.com), I thought he meant that he wanted ME to interview SOMEONE. Turns out I got it wrong and that SOMEONE was actually ME. Shit! Anyway, in between the time I got the request and the time I figured out that I was an asshole, I already did this interview with Jim from FNU Ronnies, Cows 'Sexy Pee Story' playing on the record machine. Fuck John Dwyer and fly these men to Australia already!

NGL: Why the fuck did you move from Philly?

Jim: 2 reasons. 1: Because I have spent my adult life moving to and from Philly. Its this magnetic force that always pulls me back. And this time around I am determined never to go back; It is a personal and cultural reason to leave. The state of affairs in this nation points me out of the megapolitan of the east coast. 2: My gf at the time received a golden ticket career move for us to move from philly to SF for free. I wasn't necessarily ready but sometimes there is no perfect time.

NGL: Why the fuck are there so many lame party punk bands in San Fran?

Jim: Funny you mentioned that. I was just thinking the other day how when FNU Ronnies first started the Philly music scene blew big blue gay balls....except for us and Clockcleaner....

then I move to the Bay Area and Philly gets better and the SF blows bigger blue gay balls in the music scene, outside of the Hospitals (RIP).

I guess its an inherent fill in the typical template of what is already done in a bourgeois competitve money making city. Boogsh, nothing new, nothing to write home to mom about. I wish the Residents would blow up these fuckings stupid gay party bands. Geezzz..I love fun, but give me something interesting to chew on as a new paradigm.

NGL: Why the fuck haven't you come to AUS to meet me and hang out with Sharkey?

Jim: Money. I hung out with a Perth resident, but that was here. Damn and I missed the UV Race. When Sharkey goes back I will stop by to say hi; while on my way to New Zealand to get krunked on wine and speed before I retire to a micro-nation

NGL: Why the fuck isn't there a 'Ronnies LP yet?

Jim: It's being mastered this week. :). It will slay heads off. It's on Load records. Ben of Load rules. Straight up gentleman. I have to work on the art for the cover, insert etc. There's talk of doing a video as well, which I will partly manhandle, since I gotz mickedumicated in video while attending secondary skool.

NGL: Why the fuck don't the Bloodhound Gang get props in the retardo world when they are the obvious extension of 90's era Butthole Surfers? Hell, "Pepper" might as well have been on 'Use Your Fingers' or 'One Fierce Beer Coaster'.

Jim: I don't know. I'm not in the know. But sign me up. Love the Butthole Surfers, I own one CD of theirs. But yeah, I like retarded brilliance of such types. Like Factorymen, and Sockeye, maybe even Taco Leg?.....

Jim: Huh..why the fuck would you think we fit into any category? We don't. We can't be co-opted period. It's our DNA imperative. We don't want to have anything. Categorical imperative my ass. Too cool 4 skool.

NGL: Yo, I got you. Last one man, I gotta drink some water real bad. Why the fuck don't you tell me what the LP is going to be called?

Jim: Cause we haven't received most of the mail in ballots for the erection of the election. Rohmm. Hmmm.... “Men Are Babies”? “Babies Are Us”? “Babies”..”God Bless the Children of the Yeast”? Oh, I know, “DULL MUZIQUE FOR BORING SHEEPLES”. “People”, “Skull is Dull”.

How's the water in Aus?

NGL: It's OK. I think the water restrictions have been lifted. I got one of those purifiers in my fridge, yuppie.

Jim: Who requested you conduct an interview? Who the fuck? And WHY THE FUCK?