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Author
Topic: a question about the test (Read 17038 times)

Can someone please tell me the risks of genital to genital rubbing. Is it possible to get HIV through this way? I have asked my ex partner 6 times if he has ever been with anyone else and if I need to know anything. On all occasions he has swore he is telling the truth. I watch things on tv or if I develop a symptom, I get paranoid and start searching on the internet and then I assume I have an std or something. My ex was a virgin, we did nothing but genital to genital rubbing for a while 4 years ago. Now say if he wasnít a virgin and say if he had HIV, what would my chances be of having contracted HIV through this way? A doctor on another site described it as safe sex as in no penetration, no risks, but I asked a GP (not my own doc) back in August about hiv and genital rubbing, he seemed rather annoyed (I am married now and he must have thought id been cheating on my husband) he told me that because its so close to the mucous membranes it is possible to get hiv through precum, when I asked to have a form for a hiv test, he said that if my test came out negative then he would have to put this in my notes and future life insurance companies may ask questions as in to why I requested this test.

I did get a std check Chlamydia etc, at my local GUM clinic as I read somewhere that it is possible to get some stds via genital to genital contact, these were all negative and i thought i was over the worst.

Iím basically at my wits ends, I went through a phase where I thought I was fine and now because I have purple patches on the side of my tongue, im getting scared as this may be a sign of hiv? I have looked into this and its got something to do with poor circulation, which is a sign of hiv?

I am just full of guilt as I thought what I was doing was safe, but it may just end up being as risky as being penetrated. Also with what this doc said to me its really playing on my mind.

But what about HIV on account of mucous membranes? What I mean is his genitals being so close to mine and us rubbing for ages, it wasnít vigourous rubbing. I was a virgin and he says so was he but what if he had hiv, could these still not get through without penetration? Im sorry if I sound like a lunatic, but theres so much contradicting information on the internet. Iím really scared!

It sounds like you may be a hair unexperienced when it comes to sex and your fears are typical of those newly starting out.

Use protection for all intercourse and you will be just fine. Please read the Transmission Lessons in the Welcome Thread and educate yourself as to how this disease is really transmitted. In the case you described you didnt have a risk of HIV but as Rod said other STD's are possible in this manner. Educate and empower yourself.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Genital to genital rubbing is called frottage, and it is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus. Successful transmission occurs INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I have read the lessons and other threads about frottage/genital rubbing, but because Iíve read so much Iím just confused. It says HIV is passed through close sexual contact, does genital to genital not count as this?Also say if we were rubbing for hours and hours without penetration would it still not be possible to get HIV?

When I went for the std check, I asked the nurse about Chlamydia and she said there was a small chance of getting it via genital rubbing but this was a very small risk, my question is how come thereís a chance of getting that but not HIV, say through precum?

My big worry is my patchy purple tongue, is this a sign of HIV?

Lastly is it a medical fact that you cant get HIV through genital to genital rubbing?

You didn't have a risk at all. It DOES NOT say that you contract HIV from close casual contact no where. Whatever your purple tongue is about, you better see a doctor it has nothing to do with HIV. Purple tongue, means blood restriction and your tongue dies and falls off.

Thank you for your advice, so basically it is possible to get other stds this way but not HIV? not even if there is precum present? I'm not saying my ex had HIV, im just trying to think of the worst possible scenario. Most websites say HIV is transmitted through bodily fluids, would this include vaginal fluids and precum? I think its the close contact with the mucous membranes that worries me (esp after that dr tried to have a go at me). I've always thought no penetration means no risk, i really hope this is true!

Hiv has to bump into very specific cells in order to infect. These cells are not found on the outer genitals.

Hiv has something similar to plugs that have to find the correct socket to plug into - and only certain cells have these correct sockets.

When hiv finds itself outside of the body, these plugs quickly become damaged and hiv is then unable to infect.

Frottage is not a risk because 1) a lack of the correct cells that can be infected and 2) hiv quickly becomes damaged and unable to infect outside the human body.

Please re-read my earlier post to you. If you are sexually active, you should be having regular sexual health care check ups, including tests for ALL sexually transmitted infections, not just hiv and/or chlamydia.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

many thanks for your reply, i did get tested for all other stds except HIV as i didn't think i was at risk, due to the fact i wasn't penetrated and didnt do anything other than rubbing. My test were clear, which was good news, but since the whole tongue issue my worries turned to possibility of hiv.

There are plenty of STIs you can end up with through skin to skin or outer genital to outer genital contact. Among them are herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis and chlamydia. There are others as well. This is why, if you are sexually active, you really do need to have a complete sexual health care work up regularly. Once you're in a SECURELY MONOGAMOUS relationship, where you have both tested beforehand, together, you can scale back your sexual health check ups. As a woman, you should have regular PAP smears done (every two years) regardless. Most places in the UK have "Well Woman" clinics where you can have this done and take care of your contraceptive needs as well.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

So basically theres no way I could have got HIV? The statement below which I found when I typed in Ďwhat is hiví is the bit that worries me esp about the mucous membranes. I mean what does that mean???

HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is the virus that causes AIDS. This virus may be passed from one person to another when infected blood, semen, or vaginal secretions come in contact with an uninfected personís broken skin or mucous membranes*. In addition, infected pregnant women can pass HIV to their baby during pregnancy or delivery, as well as through breast-feeding. People with HIV have what is called HIV infection. Some of these people will develop AIDS as a result of their HIV infection.*A mucous membrane is wet, thin tissue found in certain openings to the human body. These can include the mouth, eyes, nose, vagina, rectum, and opening of the penis.

Ann, Iíve had checks for all those stiís as the Nurse suggested them, but even with those she said it was highly unlikely I would get any of those other than syphilis and herpes as these are common via genital rubbing. I have had 2 pap smears too, all of which were fine.The reason why I was concerned about my tongue was because one of the symptoms for hiv are Ďunusual blemishes in the mouthí Another question which I asked was, does it matter how long you do genital rubbing for? Say if we did it for hours and hours, are the risks still the same?I know I could be fretting for no apparent reason, but im just trying to weigh up the risks say if he was HIV +.Again many thanks for your help, Iím trying to understand how it all works.

You haven't had a risk. If it takes having an hiv test done to put your mind at rest, then do it. Collect your negative results and move on. You should be testing once a year anyway, as a matter of routine.

There's a lot of outdated "information" on hiv on the internet - however, you won't find any of that here. Frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

thank u again for your response. I think the problem with me is i keep searching the internet, analysing every symptom and working myself into a state. I was like this when i thought i had some other sti after having heard something on the radio. I'm too scared to take the test and too scared to think i might have put myself at risk for hiv and passed it on to my husband.

I was even thinking about calling my ex again and asking him for the 7th time that he definitely doesn't have hiv, i know what his reply will be, it will be no.

I know i need to get a grip, even if it was genital rubbing for ages, there is still no risk? does this make a difference?

I will drop it after this, its so hard getting the right facts about hiv.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

On Friday my thoughts got the better of me and I decided to go back to the GUM Clinic, I just couldnít live with the thought of having something and not getting it checked out. I spoke to the nurse and explained my concerns, she said exactly the same thing as you guys on here, she said I couldnít have hiv as I wasnít penetrated. They didnít test me as they didnít think it was needed. I told her I was worried and had been for weeks, because of what I had read about the mucous membranes on the internet, she said they always advise people to read up on hiv but also said that there is so much mis-leading info online. I felt better at her saying that I wasnít at risk. Even so, what this angry doctor said to me back in last year keeps playing on my mind. How can two health professionals both say two completely different things?

I read something online that said frottage isnít a risk but thatís providing any infectious fluids stay out, but how would someone get them in if all they are doing is rubbing around?

I keep thinking whether I should call my ex again, I know im not doing him or myself any favours with the constant questions. Iíve already asked him several times esp when I read up about stds, he said he didnít have anything, but I still got tested for them all and they were all negative. Iím just constantly wondering if hes lying about having hiv.

I just donít know how to drop this, its taking over my life. One minute i'm fine, thinking i'm fine and the next im worried.

First of all Fastman stay in your own thread do NOT give out advice please.

Second, honeylamb, there has NOT EVER been a case of getting HIV through frottage. Think about that, around 75 Million people have or have had HIV and not one has been because of frottage!

You can relax, you are in the clear on this one.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

thank you once again, as i know anyone reading this must think i'm being really silly. Is there no way semen/precum can get in without penetration?

The reason im getting all worried is because of my tongue and my eyelids have a slight tinge of purple (near the lashes), they have prob always been there, but me being me,i have put this on a search engine and it comes up with allsorts. Ann did explain about HIV going inside the body etc. I'm just scared i guess.

No HIV does not crawl into the vagina and all the way up to the cervix. It doesnt happen that way. Ann is right, HIV is transmitted INSIDE the body.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Firstly thank you to all of you for being so understanding, I can understand it must be frustrating having to read the same thing again. I felt assured last time I was on here and after that time I spoke to the nurse. Anyway since then I have been ok and then the moment I see my tongue I have been fretting again. I decided to call my ex again (yes I know itís a silly thing to do, as hes trying to move on) he assured me that he doesnít have hiv and would never put me at risk.

I felt fine for a few days, until I suddenly thought Ďwhy are u being happy, you still have a discoloured tongueí and all my fears have set off again. I searched the internet and the symptoms for hiv are blemishes on tongue and on eyelids, my tongue is purple on the sides and my eye lids have a tinge of brown/purple, just above the lash line.

I saw another Nurse, who I felt didnít understand what I was going on about, she said the nurse who saw me last time was very good at her job and to take her word for it. I basically asked her if I had no risk, she said ĎI would never say no risk, I would say low riskí . Im just really scared even to get tested.

I have no reason to doubt my ex, he was clearly telling the truth about all the other stiís I got tested for, but its just this issue with my tongue, what if it is hiv? I know the simple thing would be to get tested, but im so scared, I was scared about going for the sti test but did it,. It took a lot of courage; I donít think I have it in me to do it again.

Also with this other Nurse saying low risk, its playing on my mind again.

I know I need to get over this, but im so so scared, i'm checking every symptom on the net and its freaking me out.

I understand what you guys will say, there is no risk from genital rubbing, but my concern is if he was hiv + is there a chance his fluids could have got in any other way?

Even typing all this, i feel so daft, because it sounds so silly, as you can tell im inexperienced and and am a bit of a worrier anyway.

Thanks Rapid, i know i sound like a nut case, but im not, im just always worried. I know you guys know your stuff but im just scared incase im the first one to ever get it this way and the who tongue thing scares me, I know its silly.

just thought i'd let you know that i tested negative today. I decided to pluck up the courage and get tested as i couldn't stand being miserable and diagnosing myself all the time. I still have no idea what is going on with my mouth, but its def not hiv.

I just wanted to thank you guys for the reassurance!! THANKYOU!!!

I just have one last question, which is, just how reliable is the blood antibody test?

im back again, but have to get this off my chest, i wondered could anyone tell me, can any forms of medication interfere with the antibody test. What i mean is, if im on some contraceptive pill or hormonal pill or any medicatication, is it possible for me to have had a false reading?

I'm too scared to go back and ask the nurse, because they prob alreday think im nuts.

No, your medicines would not interfere with your test results. You need to seek out the help of a mental health professional to get off this HIV fetish you have.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

I donít know where to put this as I cant find my old thread, Iím actually quite disappointed that I am back on here searching for answers. I have been driving myself nuts with worry, before anyone says no I donít need to see a mental health doctor. I just need some straight answers, all of which I cannot find on the net and have no where left to turn.

I tested negative, (I had the blood test) but I want to know if any other health conditions or any medications can affect the result causing it to be negative. Is this possible? Does anyone know?

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

We've given you straight answers. You didn't have a risk of hiv infection in the first place and you tested conclusively hiv negative long after the incident you're worried about. There aren't any medical condition (and you were already told about medications) that would cause you to test negative if you were in fact positive.

You seem to think you don't need the assistance of a mental health care professional - but how else are you going to put this behind you? You obviously aren't able to do so on your own.

You didn't have a risk and you have tested conclusively hiv negative. Please seek out some counseling to get to the bottom of why you can't let it go. We cannot help you with that here.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts