The topic of white supremacy, racism, etc has been discussed on this forum since the beginning of time but I was wondering if there have ever been any discussions about the issue of attraction and whether or not it can possibly be based on principles gleaned from white supremacy.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a black American woman who is primarily (and sometimes only) attracted to white men. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't grown up in a country that was shaped by this ideology of white supremacy would I still have that same attraction. At what point can you say that you're separating you're own thoughts and desires from that of a very pervasive and powerful institution that was the foundation of the society that you grew up in?

Do you all think that attraction is dictated by society or does it come from the invididual within? Even sometimes when I'm out and about I always find myself checking out the white men and not really paying attention to the black men around me. Is this a result of living in a country founded on a supremacist ideology or just simply personal choice?

17days I believe all people are different. I'm a white man and I personally like chicas. I don't care about body image small or big. Ever hear about the "Similarity theory" it has been used to explain incest and why usually people are attracted to likeness. I also remember at a young age being attracted to girls with a specific haircut and small things they would do or wear. I believe now I'm attracted to chicas because they really like to have fun, I don't mean sex but I find many have a zest for living. I like the openess of your topics too and hope all is well in your world. I haven't seen you here in a little?

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Similarity/attraction theory posits that people like and are attracted to others who are similar, rather than dissimilar, to themselves; “birds of a feather,” the adage goes, “flock together.”

17days I believe all people are different. I'm a white man and I personally like chicas. I don't care about body image small or big. Ever hear about the "Similarity theory" it has been used to explain incest and why usually people are attracted to likeness. I also remember at a young age being attracted to girls with a specific haircut and small things they would do or wear. I believe now I'm attracted to chicas because they really like to have fun, I don't mean sex but I find many have a zest for living. I like the openess of your topics too and hope all is well in your world. I haven't seen you here in a little?

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Similarity/attraction theory posits that people like and are attracted to others who are similar, rather than dissimilar, to themselves; “birds of a feather,” the adage goes, “flock together.”

Wait, weren't you gay?
We previously discussed how you wouldn't come out at work and that you were fine with that, in fact you said work was no place for expressing such things.

.[Edited 7/20/17 4:45am]

"It means finding the very human narrative of a man navigating between idealism and pragmatism, faith and politics, non-violence, the pitfalls of acclaim as the perils of rejection" – Lesley Hazleton on the first muslim, the prophet.

17days I believe all people are different. I'm a white man and I personally like chicas. I don't care about body image small or big. Ever hear about the "Similarity theory" it has been used to explain incest and why usually people are attracted to likeness. I also remember at a young age being attracted to girls with a specific haircut and small things they would do or wear. I believe now I'm attracted to chicas because they really like to have fun, I don't mean sex but I find many have a zest for living. I like the openess of your topics too and hope all is well in your world. I haven't seen you here in a little?

--

Similarity/attraction theory posits that people like and are attracted to others who are similar, rather than dissimilar, to themselves; “birds of a feather,” the adage goes, “flock together.”

17days I believe all people are different. I'm a white man and I personally like chicas. I don't care about body image small or big. Ever hear about the "Similarity theory" it has been used to explain incest and why usually people are attracted to likeness. I also remember at a young age being attracted to girls with a specific haircut and small things they would do or wear. I believe now I'm attracted to chicas because they really like to have fun, I don't mean sex but I find many have a zest for living. I like the openess of your topics too and hope all is well in your world. I haven't seen you here in a little?

--

Similarity/attraction theory posits that people like and are attracted to others who are similar, rather than dissimilar, to themselves; “birds of a feather,” the adage goes, “flock together.”

I wonder if he preferred Black women would he call them "Sheniquas" or something like that?

chica is Spanish for a girl... is Sheniqua any language for anything? I am not sure what your point is... but I would think Chica is no different than saying "I like white girls." Given that the OP is a woman expressing a preference for persons of a given ethnic appearance I can not see any issue with chica.

Anyone for banning the AR15 must be on the side of the criminal as once banned only criminals will have them.

I don't have a type other than specific things I don't prefer. But that whole once you go black you never go back has been my experience. Mostly because society and white men will never let you live it down, not because it's a preference. :lol:

Interesting question, though. I have a black guy friend, older man, early 60's, who is currently experiencing some inner turmoil because white women are so not his thing, but he has caught feelings for a specific white woman. He does not want to be one of those (perception of) successful black guys with white trophies, so he kind of sneaks around with her and hates himself. I think maybe a lot of his guilt and shame come from being old enough to have actually seen firsthand and experienced segregation and the civil rights movement. He's not generally a person who cares what people think, but this seems to affect how he feels about himself.

The topic of white supremacy, racism, etc has been discussed on this forum since the beginning of time but I was wondering if there have ever been any discussions about the issue of attraction and whether or not it can possibly be based on principles gleaned from white supremacy.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a black American woman who is primarily (and sometimes only) attracted to white men. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't grown up in a country that was shaped by this ideology of white supremacy would I still have that same attraction. At what point can you say that you're separating you're own thoughts and desires from that of a very pervasive and powerful institution that was the foundation of the society that you grew up in?

Do you all think that attraction is dictated by society or does it come from the invididual within? Even sometimes when I'm out and about I always find myself checking out the white men and not really paying attention to the black men around me. Is this a result of living in a country founded on a supremacist ideology or just simply personal choice?

I think this might just be personal choice, which might also be influenced by personal experiences. For example, I know a few Asian women who said they prefer non-Asian men because they didn't like the way Asian men they've known have treated women. Also, some people are more attracted to those who look the most unlike themselves (Have you ever noticed that the Whites who date Blacks are often pale and Blonde?)

I personally have often dated and married outside my race. In my case, it had less to do with physical attributes, and more to do with culture. I'm culturally "adventurous", and often enjoy things that are not "stereotypically Black ", and I needed to have someone around who also enjoyed the same or similar things. Also, I'm not religious, so if someone's religion is very important to them, they might not have been the right person for me.

I wonder if he preferred Black women would he call them "Sheniquas" or something like that?

chica is Spanish for a girl... is Sheniqua any language for anything? I am not sure what your point is... but I would think Chica is no different than saying "I like white girls." Given that the OP is a woman expressing a preference for persons of a given ethnic appearance I can not see any issue with chica.

Chica sounds a little stereotypical to me, almost dismissive in a way. Almost like if you called Asian women "geishas" or something. Why not call them Latinas or Hispanics ?

I don't have a type other than specific things I don't prefer. But that whole once you go black you never go back has been my experience. Mostly because society and white men will never let you live it down, not because it's a preference. I'm a fairly equal opportunity lover of penises. I'm pretty flexible about the packages they're attached to. Interesting question, though. I have a black guy friend, older man, early 60's, who is currently experiencing some inner turmoil because white women are so not his thing, but he has caught feelings for a specific white woman. He does not want to be one of those (perception of) successful black guys with white trophies, so he kind of sneaks around with her and hates himself. I think maybe a lot of his guilt and shame come from being old enough to have actually seen firsthand and experienced segregation and the civil rights movement. He's not generally a person who cares what people think, but this seems to affect how he feels about himself.

Well I'm much younger than that older guy but not that far removed from experiences that were painful and based on racism. But, I completely understand how he feels though. When I watch documentaries about the Civil Rights movement, slavery, etc. it does bring conflicting feelings. I also hear about events that happen in modern times and it's also upsetting...but I don't think I would go to the extreme of "hiding" a white male partner due to any guilt or pressure from others. I have been in situations though where black men have been hostile towards me just for being out in public with a white man. It's ridiculous because in one particular situation there was a group of black men who were gawking at a group of white women who passed by but that SAME group of black guys insulted me for walking down the street with a white man! It's ridiculous.

The topic of white supremacy, racism, etc has been discussed on this forum since the beginning of time but I was wondering if there have ever been any discussions about the issue of attraction and whether or not it can possibly be based on principles gleaned from white supremacy.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a black American woman who is primarily (and sometimes only) attracted to white men. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't grown up in a country that was shaped by this ideology of white supremacy would I still have that same attraction. At what point can you say that you're separating you're own thoughts and desires from that of a very pervasive and powerful institution that was the foundation of the society that you grew up in?

Do you all think that attraction is dictated by society or does it come from the invididual within? Even sometimes when I'm out and about I always find myself checking out the white men and not really paying attention to the black men around me. Is this a result of living in a country founded on a supremacist ideology or just simply personal choice?

I think this might just be personal choice, which might also be influenced by personal experiences. For example, I know a few Asian women who said they prefer non-Asian men because they didn't like the way Asian men they've known have treated women. Also, some people are more attracted to those who look the most unlike themselves (Have you ever noticed that the Whites who date Blacks are often pale and Blonde?) I personally have often dated and married outside my race. In my case, it had less to do with physical attributes, and more to do with culture. I'm culturally "adventurous", and often enjoy things that are not "stereotypically Black ", and I needed to have someone around who also enjoyed the same or similar things. Also, I'm not religious, so if someone's religion is very important to them, they might not have been the right person for me.

Well yeah there's no doubt that personal choice is involved but sometimes I wonder how much of this is due to how we're socialized in American society. I've never been married but given that my attraction is usually for a certain type of man I don't think I'll end up with a black man. I dunno. I think another issue for black women is that there aren't as many college-educated, upwardly mobile black men to pick from. So I don't know if that's part of the issue as well or if it's just coincidental. There are some black men that I find attractive but it's usually a handful of celebrities that I'll probably never meet but in "real life" I don't really pay attention that much to black men I suppose. I guess I'm not really wired that way...not sure.

I don't have a type other than specific things I don't prefer. But that whole once you go black you never go back has been my experience. Mostly because society and white men will never let you live it down, not because it's a preference. :lol:

Interesting question, though. I have a black guy friend, older man, early 60's, who is currently experiencing some inner turmoil because white women are so not his thing, but he has caught feelings for a specific white woman. He does not want to be one of those (perception of) successful black guys with white trophies, so he kind of sneaks around with her and hates himself. I think maybe a lot of his guilt and shame come from being old enough to have actually seen firsthand and experienced segregation and the civil rights movement. He's not generally a person who cares what people think, but this seems to affect how he feels about himself.

Thinking about your older Black friend, I wonder how much do you hold an INDIVIDUAL White person as part of racist actions committed in the name of White Supremacy? I want people to see me as an individual, not as a symbol of Black manhood, or anything like that

chica is Spanish for a girl... is Sheniqua any language for anything? I am not sure what your point is... but I would think Chica is no different than saying "I like white girls." Given that the OP is a woman expressing a preference for persons of a given ethnic appearance I can not see any issue with chica.

Chica sounds a little stereotypical to me, almost dismissive in a way. Almost like if you called Asian women "geishas" or something. Why not call them Latinas or Hispanics ?

Geisha is not Japenese for a girl or a young woman. I kind of get your point that chica means a female child or young female...but other than that it is no more dismissive than girlfriend...

Anyone for banning the AR15 must be on the side of the criminal as once banned only criminals will have them.

SeventeenDayze said: I think this might just be personal choice, which might also be influenced by personal experiences. For example, I know a few Asian women who said they prefer non-Asian men because they didn't like the way Asian men they've known have treated women. Also, some people are more attracted to those who look the most unlike themselves (Have you ever noticed that the Whites who date Blacks are often pale and Blonde?) I personally have often dated and married outside my race. In my case, it had less to do with physical attributes, and more to do with culture. I'm culturally "adventurous", and often enjoy things that are not "stereotypically Black ", and I needed to have someone around who also enjoyed the same or similar things. Also, I'm not religious, so if someone's religion is very important to them, they might not have been the right person for me.

Well yeah there's no doubt that personal choice is involved but sometimes I wonder how much of this is due to how we're socialized in American society. I've never been married but given that my attraction is usually for a certain type of man I don't think I'll end up with a black man. I dunno. I think another issue for black women is that there aren't as many college-educated, upwardly mobile black men to pick from. So I don't know if that's part of the issue as well or if it's just coincidental. There are some black men that I find attractive but it's usually a handful of celebrities that I'll probably never meet but in "real life" I don't really pay attention that much to black men I suppose. I guess I'm not really wired that way...not sure.

sounds like that (the bolded portion) might be as much what you are attracted to as race is? if there were an equal ratio of upper class, ambitious black men, might you be more attracted to them? or is it just physical? you find white skin and blue eyes more attractive?

i'm primarily attracted to black women, but it's mostly a physical thing. i just think a lovely black woman is infinitely more attractive than a lovely white woman. there's no cultural or ideological component to it. i just like what i like.

i have dated black ladies, and i must say that being a white dude in public with a black lady is when i have experienced the most overt racism directed at me personally. it's pretty uncomfortable.

I don't have a type other than specific things I don't prefer. But that whole once you go black you never go back has been my experience. Mostly because society and white men will never let you live it down, not because it's a preference. I'm a fairly equal opportunity lover of penises. I'm pretty flexible about the packages they're attached to. Interesting question, though. I have a black guy friend, older man, early 60's, who is currently experiencing some inner turmoil because white women are so not his thing, but he has caught feelings for a specific white woman. He does not want to be one of those (perception of) successful black guys with white trophies, so he kind of sneaks around with her and hates himself. I think maybe a lot of his guilt and shame come from being old enough to have actually seen firsthand and experienced segregation and the civil rights movement. He's not generally a person who cares what people think, but this seems to affect how he feels about himself.

Thinking about your older Black friend, I wonder how much do you hold an INDIVIDUAL White person as part of racist actions committed in the name of White Supremacy? I want people to see me as an individual, not as a symbol of Black manhood, or anything like that

This is an interesting point and it's what I was wondering about myself...

Well yeah there's no doubt that personal choice is involved but sometimes I wonder how much of this is due to how we're socialized in American society. I've never been married but given that my attraction is usually for a certain type of man I don't think I'll end up with a black man. I dunno. I think another issue for black women is that there aren't as many college-educated, upwardly mobile black men to pick from. So I don't know if that's part of the issue as well or if it's just coincidental. There are some black men that I find attractive but it's usually a handful of celebrities that I'll probably never meet but in "real life" I don't really pay attention that much to black men I suppose. I guess I'm not really wired that way...not sure.

sounds like that (the bolded portion) might be as much what you are attracted to as race is? if there were an equal ratio of upper class, ambitious black men, might you be more attracted to them? or is it just physical? you find white skin and blue eyes more attractive?

i'm primarily attracted to black women, but it's mostly a physical thing. i just think a lovely black woman is infinitely more attractive than a lovely white woman. there's no cultural or ideological component to it. i just like what i like.

i have dated black ladies, and i must say that being a white dude in public with a black lady is when i have experienced the most overt racism directed at me personally. it's pretty uncomfortable.

Well I think attraction is a mystery. I don't think economic status is what immediately catches my eye though. I guess theere's a difference between initial attraction versus wanting to be in a relationship with someone. It's probably worth noting that I am not universally attracted to any and all white men but it just happens that my main attraction is for white men. Does that make sense?

chica is Spanish for a girl... is Sheniqua any language for anything? I am not sure what your point is... but I would think Chica is no different than saying "I like white girls." Given that the OP is a woman expressing a preference for persons of a given ethnic appearance I can not see any issue with chica.

Chica sounds a little stereotypical to me, almost dismissive in a way. Almost like if you called Asian women "geishas" or something. Why not call them Latinas or Hispanics ?

"Chica" and "Latina" are the exact same thing - a term for a female Hispanic. "Chica" is just more informal.

sounds like that (the bolded portion) might be as much what you are attracted to as race is? if there were an equal ratio of upper class, ambitious black men, might you be more attracted to them? or is it just physical? you find white skin and blue eyes more attractive?

i'm primarily attracted to black women, but it's mostly a physical thing. i just think a lovely black woman is infinitely more attractive than a lovely white woman. there's no cultural or ideological component to it. i just like what i like.

i have dated black ladies, and i must say that being a white dude in public with a black lady is when i have experienced the most overt racism directed at me personally. it's pretty uncomfortable.

Well I think attraction is a mystery. I don't think economic status is what immediately catches my eye though. I guess theere's a difference between initial attraction versus wanting to be in a relationship with someone. It's probably worth noting that I am not universally attracted to any and all white men but it just happens that my main attraction is for white men. Does that make sense?

sure...sounds like you aren't so much attracted to white guys, you just don't exclude them from your field of options due to their whiteness. it sucks that it's something you feel conflicted about...i guess that's the world we live in. i kind of don't understand the whole white supremacy angle of your question.

I don't have a type other than specific things I don't prefer. But that whole once you go black you never go back has been my experience. Mostly because society and white men will never let you live it down, not because it's a preference. :lol:

Interesting question, though. I have a black guy friend, older man, early 60's, who is currently experiencing some inner turmoil because white women are so not his thing, but he has caught feelings for a specific white woman. He does not want to be one of those (perception of) successful black guys with white trophies, so he kind of sneaks around with her and hates himself. I think maybe a lot of his guilt and shame come from being old enough to have actually seen firsthand and experienced segregation and the civil rights movement. He's not generally a person who cares what people think, but this seems to affect how he feels about himself.

Thinking about your older Black friend, I wonder how much do you hold an INDIVIDUAL White person as part of racist actions committed in the name of White Supremacy? I want people to see me as an individual, not as a symbol of Black manhood, or anything like that

I don't think I understand the question. He and I have been best friends for about 30 years. I admit there is some feelings-guessing going on, but it's not without having known him for so long. He knew me through the entire length of my 25+ year (interracial, idk if it's relevant) marriage which I don't try to claim gives me any sort of pass. He is definitely the one who espouses fairly anti white sentiment, though, and has made it clear throughout the years that we have managed to be close friends despite my race. It is a super weird dynamic. I don't think I hold him up as representative of anything. I think he does, though. I know he does. In the 30 years of being pretty close to him, I have never known him to socialize with other white people in any way, and he's been pretty upfront that it's because we each have our own lanes to stay in. That's on him.

And yet now his old ass really digs a white woman on a deeper level and I know I know I'm an asshole for loving it.

Well I think attraction is a mystery. I don't think economic status is what immediately catches my eye though. I guess theere's a difference between initial attraction versus wanting to be in a relationship with someone. It's probably worth noting that I am not universally attracted to any and all white men but it just happens that my main attraction is for white men. Does that make sense?

sure...sounds like you aren't so much attracted to white guys, you just don't exclude them from your field of options due to their whiteness. it sucks that it's something you feel conflicted about...i guess that's the world we live in. i kind of don't understand the whole white supremacy angle of your question.

I don't know if I agree with what you wrote here. I'm pretty clear on my attraction but I don't think I've ever met anyone who is universally attracted to ALL who fit a certain type. I mean, a black man who dates black women isn't going to automatically like all black women just because a woman is black. I think there's a misconception about black women like me who are into white men. The assumption is that we like ALL white men.

Well I think attraction is a mystery. I don't think economic status is what immediately catches my eye though. I guess theere's a difference between initial attraction versus wanting to be in a relationship with someone. It's probably worth noting that I am not universally attracted to any and all white men but it just happens that my main attraction is for white men. Does that make sense?

sure...sounds like you aren't so much attracted to white guys, you just don't exclude them from your field of options due to their whiteness. it sucks that it's something you feel conflicted about...i guess that's the world we live in. i kind of don't understand the whole white supremacy angle of your question.

I don't know if I agree with what you wrote here. I'm pretty clear on my attraction but I don't think I've ever met anyone who is universally attracted to ALL who fit a certain type. I mean, a black man who dates black women isn't going to automatically like all black women just because a woman is black. I think there's a misconception about black women like me who are into white men. The assumption is that we like ALL white men.

I think that's a general assumption across the board. I do know that white men are overwhelmingly insecure with white women who have dated black men. Even the most "non racist" white guy will go there when he's he upset about anything that isn't even remotely related. The more blatant racists will outright call it ruint. As in a white woman who's ever been with any black man is ruint, and the perception of her as one who will have sex with any black man persists. People see what they're looking for.

sure...sounds like you aren't so much attracted to white guys, you just don't exclude them from your field of options due to their whiteness. it sucks that it's something you feel conflicted about...i guess that's the world we live in. i kind of don't understand the whole white supremacy angle of your question.

I don't know if I agree with what you wrote here. I'm pretty clear on my attraction but I don't think I've ever met anyone who is universally attracted to ALL who fit a certain type. I mean, a black man who dates black women isn't going to automatically like all black women just because a woman is black. I think there's a misconception about black women like me who are into white men. The assumption is that we like ALL white men.

not what i'm saying...what i'm saying is you don't exclude white guys from your pool of options. you don't think whiteness is unattractive. you don't limit yourself to your own race when looking to get down. correct?

if so, good on ya. i think some people are just wired that way. modern culture makes that something of a hassle. i don't think you were programmed by some white supremacist agenda to not find whiteness repulsive.