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I used to have pet tarantulas as a kid. My dad used to drive a lot for work and he'd see tarantulas smashed on the road where they apparently liked to try to cross, so one day he brought along a shoebox with him in the car and when he came to that spot in the road, he pulled over and scooped one up in the shoebox. Imagine the happiness that a little kid feels when daddy brings home a puppy, then mix that feeling with the sheer creepiness of a big ol' hairy spider, and that's pretty much how I felt when my dad opened that shoebox and said, "surprise!" After a few weeks of playing with it (it loved to sit on my head) and finally convincing my mom that it was harmless, my dad brought home another. I would LOVE to have a tarantula as a pet again, but my wife just ran screaming into the other room at the mere suggestion (I didn't even get a chance to show her the picture). It'll be a few days before I'll be able to even start a sentence with "Can I..." without her cutting me off with "No, no, NO! NEVER!"

I'm glad you have some good ones with them as a kid! My family used to find them too, but we never kept them. I was ... okay, at best, with the big tarantulas but just could never get myself to hold them or mess with them.

Tell her there's purple ones, purple ones with pink toes that you can raise up from a baby. ;) (I work at a reptile store that carries this stuff) Of course, not everyone is all that charmed at the thought of raising up a baby spider...but the purple pink toes are just so pretty!

Yeah, actually for me as a kid I loved playing with even small spiders (watching them run around on my hand and finding them and everything) And I loved the idea of a big spider / having one as a pet. Strangely as I grew up for some reason I developed not a phobia, but more of an aversion / slight fear of small spiders. I still think i'd be cool with bigger spiders, but small ones are just too speedy and I have a fear of a small one like darting up my sleeves and I don't even know, just being generally annoying. When I type this out obviously there is no logical reason to fear them, which is part of the reason why the fear is a bit irrational.

Let's imagine you got this spider in its current state back when you made the decision to own one. Would you be able to handle it like that? I've had a fear of tarantulas and large spiders for some time. I got over the visual panic response by watching videos about them and taking an actual interest in learning about them.

I always thought the best way to get over the fear would be to own one. It made more sense to start with a spiderling because it seemed like I'd not "notice" or mind the transition. I'd have time to "adjust" or even become attached as it got bigger. Would you say that was what enabled you to do this? Was there any one point where you felt even a tiny bit of regret as it grew, or did the change over time make it easy to do?

I raised it up from a baby the size of a dime! And I could handle it then, I think it was the thought that it got larger and so if I handled it as a baby baby then it'd be nicer as an adult (which is true).

I work with reptiles/invertebrates, so it started where at work I couldn't deal with them at all - after almost a year of just being exposed to them regularly I adjusted to them, and then took home a particularly nice spiderling (this was four years ago, that spiderling was a chaco gold stripe) that would just sit in my hand when I took it out for people.

I also read a very indepth, good book about them that helped me learn a) they're not particularly toxic, at least not the ones often considered good "pets", and b) they are, in reality, extremely fragile. Reading about them, learning about them in detail, and then being exposed to a group of people who had no problem with them whatsoever helped me deal with it. In the end just one day I went "Well, this fear is totally irrational, I'm doin it" and was able to hold them. Inside, I'm still freaking out a little, but on the outside I seem fine.

So your fear wasn't as bad as I'm thinking, right? I was at the point where I couldn't even look at them (a picture on the internet) without sitting up in my chair itching all over with my heart pounding and body sweating. Was your fear just a fear of handling them (assuming they were gonna bite, etc) or that bad too? Also, would that good book be the Tarantula Keeper's Guide?

No, I could look at them, work around them, just couldn't/wouldn't hold them or deal with a cage containing them. I can hold them now but after a bit my heart starts racing and I get nervous, and have to put them back before I fling off whatever I'm holding.

It was the Tarantula Keeper's Guide, that's the one - the white cover book, thick for a paperback care book. Should be $14.95.

There's certain species that tolerate handling better than others. This one, the red knee, is one of those species. Rose hairs, pink toes, red legs, brazilian black...those are just a handful of other handleable species. Most of the time if they're well fed and have been handled just occasionally over their life, even adults that are seldom held are comfortable with it. You just scoop them up and stay still - they're just going to walk over you. You don't pet them or cuddle them, their rear ends and back legs are covered in things called "urticating hairs" which are terrible and itchy and just trust me you don't want to touch them.

These are usually pretty sturdy spiders, and survive a wide range of conditions. I don't usually mess with it on a day to day basis - maybe once or twice a week I water and feed it.

I haven't named it yet - waiting to be certain of gender. My last tarantula, a chaco gold stripe, ended up molting out as a male (males rarely live longer than a year once they reach maturity), and really bummed me out - I spent 3 years raising it! So this one I'm waiting to be certain of gender. :)

I read your post about how the bristles on it's rear section are pretty not fun to touch... but when you take it out do you just let it chill in your hand?

Also, what do you feed your spider?

That's fascinating that you can't figure out what gender it is till it molts. We had a Cockatiel for about 5 years that we ASSUMED was a male, and named it Spike. Out of nowhere, Spike became weird... started huddling in the corner... AND LAID A FUCKING EGG. Turns out the bird was a lady. Sadly a year or so later she died, we surmise trying to lay another egg :( Best pet bird I've ever had... such a sweetheart.

The bristles are only bad if they flick them off on you or you pet them and embed them in your skin. It's the embedding in the skin that sucks, less that they're around. So if it's sitting on your hand, you're fine. Frantically flicking hairs everywhere? abort, abort, abort!!

I feed it dubia roaches and crickets.

Aaaaand technically if I cared enough and had a jeweler's loupe I could sex it by checking a molted skin, but I'm okay with just raising it up for a while. Sucks about your bird though, cockatiels are adorable!

A bloke from London Zoo brought a Red Knee into XFM for Eoghan (Drive Time) and a female listener to overcome their fears. I cannot remember his name though (the spider's). I'd Youtube it, but I'm at work. There were some interesting explanations about how and why people fear spiders. I'm still a little bit scared though...