You can keep your perfume, your chocolate-covered strawberries, your dozen roses. Ditto your gift card to the nail salon, your i.o.u. for a home-cooked meal, your picture frame with the cute photo of the grand kids. They’ve all been seen, done and probably shoved into the back of a closet. If you really want to impress mom this Mother’s Day, lavish her with a tshirt. Here’s why:

1. They’re comfy. Made of 100-percent cotton, our shirts are all soft and snugly, like a hug from you.

2. They’re durable. Perfume fades, flowers die, chocolate-covered strawberries melt. Our shirts live on and on, just like your love and devotion to dear old mom.

3. They’re unique. Just see how many moms are wearing a swagalicious Roadkill tshirt at bingo next Thursday!

4. They’re good for all kinds of moms. Is your mom a saint? A sweetheart? A stripper? No problem, we have hundreds of shirts in a dozen styles and with tons of sayings and designs. One is sure to please your mom.

5. They’re affordable. Flowers can cost you a couple of Jacksons. Perfume–even more. Our shirts are just $19.99. They just seem waaayyy more expensive.

Get out the playbooks everyone, the 2014 NFL Draft Day is upon us. Will Johnny Manziel go to Houston? Will Jadeveon Clowney be the first pick? Will any drafted player hug his mom before his agent? Time will shortly tell. And when it does, you’ll wanna be enjoying all the madness in the right garb. Here, 3 shirts that score big!

Teaching may be one of the great unsung professions in America. Part parent, part prison warden, a teacher will fill your head with lots of useful information like the historical implications of the Stamp Act of 1765 and the definition of a frieze pattern. (Duh, stupid, were you in detention for all of geometry? it’s an infinite strip containing a symmetric pattern). Seriously, I mean how can you get by in life without knowing these basics. This week, pay homage to the ones who dulled your senses and squashed your spirit. Here, tees that pay respect to our teachers!

1. If you can read, thank a teacher. If you can read in English, thank a marine.

2. Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.

If you’re a college student, you’re probably in the midst of exams. And if you’re a college student who actually gives a crap about grades, you just might be getting a little stressed right about now. Not to worry. We have the shirts to calm your jittery nerves and make you a blue book baller.

May Day traditionally celebrates the beginning of spring and fertility—of the soil, the animals and, of course, people. Given its historical and religious significance, it would be almost sacrilege not to bang a babe in May. Here, 6 tshirts that will get her swooning…

Where would you be without your mother? If you chose a) in a gutter, b) incarcerated or c) in the witness protection program, then we’re pretty sure you owe it to that saint of woman to remember her this Mother’s Day, May 11. Flowers are fine; perfume might even score you seconds at dinner. But let’s face it: Given the kind of kid you were (are!), you have to step it up a notch. Here, 5 mom-loving shirts that just might get her thinking you weren’t such an epic failure after all.

Sometimes it’s hard to write about our enormously funny shirts. Sometimes the jokes just don’t translate well without the awesome graphics. So here’s a roundup of some of our hilarious shirts you gotta see to understand!