Cape Cod and All the Pilgrim Land, June 1922, Volume 6, Number 4 eBook

Captain Enoch glared at him ferociously. “Stop
that parrotin’,” he commanded. “If
you dare to grin, I’ll larnbast you good an’
plenty.”

As Abner appeared properly subdued, he went on explanatorily.

“I’ve be’n callin’ on M’lissy
Macy reg’lar whenever I’ve be’n ashore
for the last ten years. M’lissy makes the
best doughnuts I ever e’t, an’ I calculated
we’d be married sometime, though I ain’t
never mentioned it special. But when I went to
call on M’lissy this afternoon, there set Tom
Peters in the big rockin’ chair holdin’
M’lissy’s yeller cat an’ lookin’
as cheerful as a rat in a shipload of cheese.
It come over me all at once what a marryin’ critter
he is. The old punkin’-head’s had
two wives already, ain’t he?”

“Three,” corrected Abner. “He’s
be’n a widower once an’ a grass widower
twice. Mebbe he’s gittin’ lonesome
again. You’ll have to git up your spunk
and do some courtin’. Why don’t you
pop the question? It hadn’t orter be so
awful hard after you be’n goin’ to see
M’lissy ten years.”

“You talk like a nincompoop,” snapped
Captain Enoch. “I never asked a woman to
marry me in my life. How be I goin’ to know
what to say? S’pose you tell me how you
asked Mis’ Crowell.”

“That’s about what I expected,”
said the captain sarcastically. “I s’pose
Mis’ Crowell did the askin’ and you didn’t
dare to say ‘No.’”

Abner glanced toward the door where a board had creaked
faintly. “She—­she didn’t
really ask,” he remarked hastily, “but
she was pretty good at understandin’ what I
was thinkin’ about.”

“If M’lissy understands, she’s careful
not to let me know it,” said Captain Enoch sadly.
“Mebbe she’s afraid of being bold.
Just to think of proposin’ makes me feel as
if somebody was pourin’ cold water down the
back of my neck.”

Abner had a sudden flash of memory. “Why
don’t you learn a regular proposal that nobody
can find any fault with an’ say it right off
like sayin’ a piece?” he asked. “Pegleg
Brierly used to have a book in his dunnage that had
all kinds of proposals printed in it. ’Guide
to Courtship and Matrimony’ was the name of it.
Pegleg said he didn’t have any notion of fallin’
in love, but if he should happen to, he didn’t
cal’late to be caught nappin’. He’s
livin’ down on the back road now, and he’s
still an old bach. If he’s kept the book,
mebbe he’d sell it, or lend it to you.”

The change from despair to hope brought the captain
to his feet. “Abner, if you’ll git
me that book, I’ll give you twenty-five dollars,”
he promised earnestly. “But mind you don’t
tell what you want it for.”

“I won’t tell anybody that don’t
know about it already,” declared Abner with
perfect truthfulness. “I’ll have to
be awful di-plo-mat-ic,” he went on, “or
Pegleg will be sure to suspect something. And
I pity you an’ M’lissy if he got hold
of the real reason why you wanted it. Pegleg
can scatter news faster than a pea dropper can drop
peas.”