Exploring my life through the lens of a camera…

Posts Tagged ‘Dreams’

Sometimes, dreams hit me. I experience them in detail, remember specifics. It is these dreams that usually mean something significant. I firmly believe that there is either spiritual or psychological significance to these dreams. I don’t think this is necessarily the case for every dream, or for every person. But for me, on the very rare occasion I have a dream that is so detailed and so specific that it usually means something.

Tonight, I got home from work, was tired, so as has been my habit of late, I napped. Usually naps for me are not deep sleep. I am asleep, my mind wanders, doesn’t fix on any one thought, but it does allow some time for decompressing and processing, some time for rest but not that deep night sleep. Today though, my nap was deep, I slept longer than I planned. I dreamed.

I dreamed that my stomach pain (I’ve had on and off stomach pain for years, not serious, more annoying but something I’ve recently discussed with my doctor) was serious and I needed surgery. I dreamed that I was admitted to a hospital, had forgotten my laptop, and was settling in. It was a Tuesday (heh!) night and I was going to be in the hospital until the following Monday. I was stressed because I hadn’t informed my supervisor at work that I was going to be in the hospital. But I couldn’t use my cell phone to call her and had no computer for email. The nurse came in and put an IV in my right hand. I heard that a friend (I don’t remember who, just that it was a guy) was also in the hospital, but in the wing across the way. I dragged myself and my IV pole (“Mr. Skinny”), to the other wing, scrambling over a tall baracade with the IV to visit the friend — but didn’t make it. My IV wasn’t taped down securely and came ripping out, leaving a piece in my right hand. I had to go back to my room to have the IV replaced. But, since a piece was left in, it had to be taken out before the IV could be replaced in my hand — there was a wound left in that original spot as a result. I don’t remember the new IV being put in. I woke up.

I’m not really sure what the dream means, it has many parts that are significant. The IV, for example. That’s something that goes back to very early childhood. Some of my earliest memories are when I had surgery. I was around 3 years old and had fairly major surgery on my bladder. I remember being shown the IV pole, and being handed a blue knit doll (called Mr. Skinny), where I got to see the nurse give the doll an IV before I got it. My dad and I nicknamed my IV pole Mr. Skinny. I remember going into surgery, waking up afterwards, and the healing afterwards. I’ve had IVs since then, but I still remember that first viceral feeling of getting the IV put into my right hand. I have a tiny dot, a scar, on my hand from the IVs I had as a young child. Looking at the spot right now I can almost feel what it’s like to have an IV put in my hand.

There are many things going on in this dream, I know that. The picture of the IV, of surgery it’s some of my earliest memories. I’m dealing with some pretty core, even primal, issues from early on. I think that this is manefesting itself in a dream that connects quite closely with some of my earliest memories. I think the surgery and the healing of a longterm issue represents those core issues. The IV, I’m not sure what it represents. At a very basic level, an IV is essential for recovery, the sustainment or improvement of life when someone is sick or injured. I suspect that perhaps I’ve had a metaphorical IV in me my entire life. I suspect that the ripping out of the IV, and the eventual removal of that final piece, is necessary before full healing can occur. Perhaps the reason I awoke before the new IV could be inserted is because that healing means I won’t need the new IV, that I will be healed and fine on my own.

Being unable to reach the friend, I think, is also significant, as is the fact that I was trying to reach this friend, yet I had a vital component (the IV) ripped out. I suspect that this represents situations that have occurred recently. I suspect that these situations are what caused the metaphorical IV to be ripped out. Dealing and processing is what is causing that last piece of the IV to be removed from me and the dealing and processing will also cause this wound to heal making me a healthier and happier – more complete – person.

I have no idea if this analysis is correct, but as I dragged myself off the sofa I went for a run. I couldn’t help but think about it, process what the dream meant.

Have you ever had that kind of night? The kind of night where it seems like you dream all night long? I sometimes do and sometimes I remember those dreams. There are a few dreams I’ve had that I can recall for years and years. Last night the dreams were probably not profound in any way. But I do think they are related somewhat to the topics I’ve been processing these past few days.

I dreamed about friends I haven’t seen in a while, friends I’ve seen recently and situations that are quite unlikely. I dreamed that two friends were pregnant and getting married (not to each other), other friends were driving unfamiliar cars on bridges and hydroplaning (but not getting into bad accidents). In both cases I was supporting the situation, I was present, involved but not the one in the stress. How strange…