Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Obviously, I skipped my Radio 1 today. I'm doing too many things in school right now, so I decided to go on Thursday and Friday instead, to drive the listeners crazy...

.:Why Make Soap?:.

A question of fulfillment has been posed by Atty. Perez to his students on the last day of his class. A person in the advertising industry may be so successful and make even more money than even a slightly above average lawyer could, but then, why make soap? Aren't there better things to do? Clearly, we see that this question of fulfillment sums up the entirety of the course nicely: media law and ethics, more than letting you know about your rights, is about letting you know what rights you could be trampling upon in your quest for media dominance. If there's only one thing I feel that Atty. Perez would want his students to not forget, it's being an ethical media practitioner, aware of the rights of everyone they deal with, despite their privileged status born out of influence.

To drive the point of copyrights and neighboring rights, it was pretty amusing how he kept on using Kyla as an overextended example, though. He kept on talking about Kyla performing a song, and then what steps all parties involved would have to take so that Kyla's performance is legal, as well as the broadcast and recording of this performance, and what rights are involved in the whole equation. Atty. Perez may seem to be just another teacher, but I had the feeling that beneath all those lines, and all those jokes about Elizabeth Ramsey during the Shakespearean era, he still has his heart in the right place. That's a consoling thing to know, as at least, I now know of two lawyers (Hello there, Sassy Lawyer In Philippine Suburbia!) who don't fit the joke of practicing their job on the go the way a chiropractor massages the person in front of him in a line: by screwing the person in front of him in the line.

Maybe it should be a stern reminder of the things that should matter. Money's great, but what good is it if it cost your soul to acquire it, neh? I don't have to be philosophical or preachy about this. There simply is a line I cannot and will not go beyond, and selling my soul to Hades is simply one of those lines I cannot cross. Or stabbing a friend behind the back after helping me out of a tight spot... I cede my bragging rights to do these things, so I'd rather not.

It looks like weblog entries may fall under the catch-all phrase in the Philippine Copyright Law, but until someone sues another for plagiarizing weblog content, that is going to be no more than a possibility. Maybe I should sue someone, just so there'd be precedent to back my paper up already. Ha! As if anyone would rip me off?

.:Old Habits Die Hard:.

And so I owe Abby yet again. It 's been the case for the longest time: the person who makes another cry is also the only person who can stop the tears. Maybe the analogy doesn't fit to a "T", but it does have some relevance, nonetheless.

Marcelle's history with Abby has been anything but pretty. A lot of people know that. It's been so legendary already that no further elucidations on the matter are needed, as most people have their own versions about the story by now, and even if either party chose to remain silent upon stepping into college, the history would've willed itself out, anyway. As such, it does become quite a difficulty for a seven-year old friendship to just neglect everything that has transpired over the years. Let's face it: Abby and Marcelle have gone a long way as friends. While the jump to the other ladder did send him to the Abyss, it was still worth it to be her friend for him. In fact, that greatly explains what he's doing in the same course, in the same college as she is.

Marcelle has been thinking and contemplating and philosophizing about anything and everything for the longest time. He realizes that when his brain is working full-time, downtime is his worst enemy. He ends up being way too pensive, and it doesn't help him to be so one bit. Let's face it: being pensive makes him think about the past, and makes him feel bad about the shortcomings he had back then. Marcelle is the kind of person who'd beat himself up over his failure, as he would somehow feel bad about the dearth of A's in Philosophy in spite of the help he extended to his classmates, which says a lot about his not being as great of an aid as he hoped to be.

And so what's the point? As Marcelle was reviewing with Abby over Theology last night, he couldn't help but delude himself quite idiotically. It obviously doesn't help that he's around people who are aware of the history, either. And so Marcelle's seeming inability to help was magnified by the fact that it was Abby he was trying to help out. The botched attempt was frustrating, but the abrupt end of the whole thing felt even worse... is it such a crime to... backspace, backspace, backspace. Forget it.

So Marcelle owes Abby again because she was willing to hear him out about this, and not bite his head off for going around in circles with the same old issues and the same old worries to quell. Marcelle is glad that she recognizes and respects the effort on choosing to do one thing and not to do another. And then, people like Diane or Rachel or C come along, and they end up giving Marcelle more of the same questioning. At the same time, being an IW does sting a lot. When the only use people have for you is your brain, and they forget you even exist after the fact, it sure as Hades feels a whole lot demeaning and cheapening of your efforts to be of help. As Jim Paredes put it, there are a lot of crazymakers in this world. Unfortunately for Marcelle, a lot of these crazymakers are people he can't avoid, and even patrons of his own flourishing in some other respects. Abby is a perfect example of the hybrid. It's toxic, and Marcelle's slipping under.

Maybe all this paranoia is not doing any good at all. Maybe not everything that seems too good to be true really is, and in fact, some things just are that great. Maybe this relationship is smooth-sailing because it ought to be so, and not because it simply is convenient. Marcelle would not want regrets to come in when it's too late, but maybe Marcelle is, as Elbert would say, planning too far ahead. In any case, it helps that one's significant other is also one's best friend. As such, in spite of the adverse effects, she still manages to be supportive of you, and even reaffirms her trust in you, and reaffirms how much she believes that you are truly a special and lovable person. The guilt of course increases because you know that a person as understanding as this doesn't deserve being told of such things...

Gratitude also has to go out to Tsumenki, who heard Marcelle out quite a bit last night. Yes, maybe it's just a phase. These things do happen, and Tsumenki would probably know. That's how great she is in the empathy department.

.:The Method To The Madness: The Unsent Series Part V:.

Dear Divine,

Four years and more in your company, Divine. You are the earthly center that keeps Marcelle from spiraling away. And still you wonder if this is all just a dream. With all the others around you, you inevitably question your significance to him, as though that were a question one needed to ask.

And so it goes, "Why do you choose to be with me, quirks and all, oriental pulchritude around you and all, after all these years? "

How best to answer a question of choice? If one were to extol your virtues and speak about your beauty, or your grace, or your personality, Divine, then eradicating those reasons would eliminate the significance of the choice. If one were to ask in return, "why not" , then it would clearly be a matter of convenience, and once a compelling "why not " has been provided, then all bets are off.

If such a question when answered such as this will only be spurious, then perhaps the only valid answer is: "Why ask why?"

Why ask why, Divine? Is a question that is in need of an answer one that requires one so rational and unequivocally compelling? Or is it not better to keep one's eyes veiled to any rational reason that could easily be dismissed by its converse? Does not this solicitation for certitude cause only more ambiguities? Clearly, Divine, it is a matter of faith: faith in a commitment that has been made, honed and honored over time, regardless of the hurdles that have and are yet to come. A leap of faith that has been made with little of an escape clause. Beyond duty, love fuels the commitment, and love in and by itself is reason enough.

In all reality and idealism together, is not the assurance that it is as it is genuinely with reasons that are beyond reasoning to grasp behind them assurance enough of the sincerity of making this conscious choice? Cerebral though it may seem, Divine, truly, it is merely a rational declaration of irrationality: a sensible plea of the heart. A calculated madness, if you so please. Because Marcelle has chosen to love you in spite of any motivations to do otherwise, not because he has some ulterior gain that he can conceivably acquire, but because choosing to love you is complete and choiceworthy in and by itself. Let it not be said that loving Divine is as good as loving the Torch, or anyone else for that matter.

And as the melodies may go, Marcelle doesn't say it often as he should, but he really wants it to be heard. When he said he loves her, that's for good, in whatever capacity it may be. Marcelle wants to make her feel beautiful. Special. Marcelle looks at Divine, and sees that broken smile. He doesn't mind spending every waking minute of his life in the pouring rain of tribulations. If only he can make her happy for this short moment we call a lifetime.