Miserable Curiosity Rover Dragged on Awful “Educational Road Trip”

A while ago, back when NASA and Curiosity were still on speaking terms, the Earth nerds told the rover that it would not be permitted to “just chill” during the summer and arranged for it to take an endless educational road trip. Cool, guys—way to trust Curiosity to find something productive to do on its own.

The big vacation to Suck City started just last week, at which point the nerds informed Curiosity that said road trip would take a year, last for six miles, and conclude in some hicksville backwater called Mt. Sharp. There is no Wifi on Mt. Sharp, no mall, no LA Fitness, no liquor store, but the area “is of particular interest to NASA scientists since it exposes many soil and rock layers,” according to Computerworld. Soil and rock layers, you say? Let Curiosity call its friend Taryn back and tell her this road trip isn’t the most boring thing in the entire universe.

Computerworld also reports that “[d]uring the rover’s current trek, the biggest danger for Curiosity is running into deep, soft sand where it could get stuck. More than three years ago, NASA was forced to abandon its Mars rover Spirit, after it became stuck in soft sand, ending its six years of work on the Martian surface.” Actually, Curiosity heard in its shrink’s waiting room that NASA didn’t “abandon” Spirit at all, but sent it to live with its grandparents after it was expelled from the local vocational school for selling shrooms in the parking lot. If NASA wants to tell its friends some story about “soft sand,” that’s cool, but maybe Curiosity would respect NASA more if NASA, like, stood up against the expectations of society.