Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

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Influencer: The Power to Change Anything

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Unstuff Your Life: Kick the Clutter Habit and Completely Organize Your Life for Good

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The TenX Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure

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You Are Not So Smart: Why You Have Too Many Friends on Facebook, Why Your Memory Is Mostly Fiction, and 46 Other Ways You're Deluding Yourself

An entertaining illumination of the stupid beliefs that make us feel wise. You believe you are a rational, logical being who sees the world as it really is, but journalist David McRaney is here to tell you that you're as deluded as the rest of us. But that's OK - delusions keep us sane. You Are Not So Smart is a celebration of self-delusion. It's like a psychology class, with all the boring parts taken out, and with no homework. Based on the popular blog of the same name, You Are Not So Smart collects more than 46 of the lies we tell ourselves everyday.

Your toddler throws a tantrum in the middle of a store. Your preschooler refuses to get dressed. Your fifth-grader sulks on the bench instead of playing on the field. Do children conspire to make their parents’ lives endlessly challenging? No - it’s just their developing brain calling the shots! In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the best-selling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson demystify the meltdowns and aggravation, explaining the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.

The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business

This is the promise of The Advantage, Patrick Lencioni’s bold manifesto about the most unexploited opportunity in modern business. In his immensely readable and accessible style, Lencioni makes the case that there is no better way to achieve profound improvement in an organization than by attacking the root causes of dysfunction, politics, and confusion.

13 Things That Don't Make Sense: The Most Baffling Scientific Mysteries of Our Time

Science starts to get interesting when things don't make sense. Science's best-kept secret is that there are experimental results and reliable data that the most brilliant scientists can neither explain nor dismiss. If history is any precedent, we should look to today's inexplicable results to forecast the future of science. Michael Brooks heads to the scientific frontier to meet 13 modern-day anomalies and discover tomorrow's breakthroughs.

The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life)

Nerds: Once a tormented subrace of humans... Now captains of industry! You don’t have to be a stereotypical geekwad to appreciate the tenets of Nerdism and to make your innate talents for overanalysis and hyper-self-awareness work for you instead of against you. Join Nerd superstar Chris Hardwick as he offers his fellow “creative-obsessives” the crucial information needed to come out on top in the current Nerd uprising. Success is the most satisfying - and legal - form of vengeance there is. And you can achieve it when you follow the Nerdist Way,

Automate This: How Algorithms Came to Rule Our World

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The God Argument: The Case Against Religion and for Humanism

What are the arguments for and against religion and religious belief - all of them - right across the range of reasons and motives that people have for being religious, and do they stand up to scrutiny? Can there be a clear, full statement of these arguments that once and for all will show what is at stake in this debate? Equally important: what is the alternative to religion as a view of the world and a foundation for morality?

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

In The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring - specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neuro feedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies.

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion

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The 80/10/10 Diet: Balancing Your Health, Your Weight, and Your Life One Luscious Bite at a Time

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Wizard: The Life and Times of Nikola Tesla: Biography of a Genius

Nikola Tesla (1856-1943), credited as the inspiration for radio, robots, and even radar, has been called the patron saint of modern electricity. Based on original material and previously unavailable documents, this acclaimed book is the definitive biography of the man considered by many to be the founding father of modern electrical technology.

The Pixar Touch: The Making of a Company

The Pixar Touch is a lively chronicle of Pixar Animation Studios' history and evolution, and the "fraternity of geeks" who shaped it. With the help of visionary businessman Steve Jobs and animating genius John Lasseter, Pixar has become the gold standard of animated filmmaking, beginning with a short special effects shot made at Lucasfilm in 1982 all the way up through the landmark films Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Wall-E, and others.

Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In

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Venture Deals: Be Smarter Than Your Lawyer and Venture Capitalist

As each new generation of entrepreneurs emerges, there is a renewed interest in how venture capital deals come together. Yet there really is no definitive guide to venture capital deals. Nobody understands this better than authors Brad Feld and Jason Mendelson. For more than seventeen years, they've been involved in hundreds of venture capital financings, and now, with Venture Deals, they share their experiences in this field with you.

The Soil Will Save Us: How Scientists, Farmers, and Ranchers Are Tending the Soil to Reverse Global Warming

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The Rule of Nobody: Saving America from Dead Laws and Senseless Bureaucracy

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Scaling Up: How a Few Companies Make It...and Why the Rest Don't, Rockefeller Habits 2.0

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No One Would Listen: A True Financial Thriller

No One Would Listen is the exclusive story of the Harry Markopolos-lead investigation into Bernie Madoff and his $65 billion Ponzi scheme. While a lot has been written about Madoff's scam, few actually know how Markopolos and his team - affectionately called "the Fox Hounds" by Markopolos himself - uncovered what Madoff was doing years before this financial disaster reached its pinnacle. Unfortunately, no one listened, until the damage of the world's largest financial fraud ever was irreversible.

The Great Cholesterol Myth: Why Lowering Your Cholesterol Won't Prevent Heart Disease - and the Statin-Free Plan That Will

Emerging science is showing that cholesterol levels are a poor predictor of heart disease and that standard prescriptions for lowering it, such as ineffective low-fat/high-carb diets and serious, side-effect-causing statin drugs, obscure the real causes of heart disease. Even doctors at leading institutions have been misled for years based on creative reporting of research results from pharmaceutical companies intent on supporting the $31-billion-a-year cholesterol-lowering drug industry.

Publisher's Summary

You’ve got a business colleague who’s hostile...a client who’s furious...a staffer who’s deeply cynical—how do you get people to do what you want in tough situations like these? In Just Listen, veteran psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals the secret to how to get through to anyone, even when productive communication seems impossible.“Here's the challenge,” Mark says. “People have their own needs, desires, and agendas. They have secrets they’re hiding from you. And they’re stressed, busy, and often feeling like they’re in over their heads. To cope, they throw up barricades that make it difficult to reach them even when your goals are in sync with their own.”But the good news is that there are simple strategies that can make you compelling, and break down the walls that keep you from getting through to the people you need to buy into your ideas and goals. Just Listen presents remarkably effective tools and techniques you can use whenever a job, a sale, or a relationship hangs in the balance.How effective are Mark’s techniques? One of his areas of expertise is training FBI and police hostage negotiators to handle life-or-death situations. “The same tips I teach these professionals for building empathy, de-escalating conflict, and gaining buy-in will work in any situation,” Mark says. “Whether you’re a new employee fresh out of school, a salesperson, or a CEO, once you master these skills you can take them wherever you go in your career.” And Mark has proven these strategies in his own 30-year career as a business coach at companies such as GE, IBM, Goldman Sachs, Kodak, Federal Express, Hyatt, and Disney.

With this powerful yet engaging audio book, you’ll learn how to:

Get the attention of a total stranger who you need to know—like that potential client you absolutely must land.

Talk an angry person up from an instinctual (irrational) state to receptivity, and finally to rationality—a skill that can save a job, a marriage, or even a life.

Use the “Magic Paradox”—a technique the author developed for hostage negotiators— to turn a negative person into an asset.

Master the critical art of buy-in (the foreplay of negotiation, persuasion, and selling) by moving anyone through the “Persuasion Cycle.

”Barricades between people become barriers to success, progress, and happiness; so getting through is not just a fine art, but a crucial skill. Just Listen gives you the techniques and confidence to approach the unreachable people in your life, and turn frustrating situations into productive outcomes and rewarding relationships.

What the Critics Say

“Goulston’s book delivers on his promise. Read it and you will discover the secret to getting through to absolutely anyone, and I mean anyone!” (Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul)

Some helpful general information. I would have to say that a good deal of the information provided here was common sense. There was also quite a bit of information and tactics that were very unrealistic. The communication or engagement examples seemed exaggerated and not life-real to me, and certainly not applicable to most peoples everyday lives. The focus seemed to be on helping extroverts and type-A personalities listen to those around them better. I have the opposite personality, so I felt the author was not always talking to me. I have no doubt that Mark is an incredible counselor and hostage negotiator, but I was looking more for an everyday guide to communicating better and more efficiently with those people that I manage in my small non-CEO world.With that said, I do plan to go back over my notes and try to apply some of his strategies in "better listening" with my work & family life. Maybe I should listen to the book again, and be a better listener. Not a terrible listen, just not my favorite.

About 1/3 of the way through this book I was still doubting it's depth. It promises to give some pretty powerful insights at the beginning, and I was not initially getting that. But eventually the book does deliver on it's promise. His stories of real-life interventions paint a clear picture of the source of many of our day-to-day problems. Since we are so busy, we develop fast ways of interacting with our world in a kind of one-dimensional way. We tend to see things from one simple perspective: our own.

I'm in sales, and often find myself sitting across from someone who is closed off and not letting me in. After all, I am trying to sell them something. But after listening to this book, I have a way to go beyond the transaction and connect with the person. What are they feeling? Is it fear, anger, insecurity? How can I make them "feel felt"? If I slow down and recognize that their needs are real and not just distractions to be talked over, we can communicate. That can result in a sale which I might not otherwise have gotten, which is good. But it nearly always results in better communication, which plays a very important part in all the other things I would like to accomplish in life. Thank you, Mark. Well Done.

Just Listen held my interest--it combines physiologic reasons for why we behave and react the way we do, and then it offers a lot of examples and illustrations. The practical advice and techniques are usable and helpful. I immediately put some of the techniques to work!

What was one of the most memorable moments of Just Listen?

I enjoyed many of the stories--from the hostage situation to the executive preoccupied with his wife's biopsy. The narrator is compelling, using good voice inflection and emotion.

Have you listened to any of Walter Dixon’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

I have not. Mr. Dixon's narration was as good as any I have heard.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

There are many ideas that I will use. I have already used the one about telling an employee that I should improve his environment to incentivize him to work harder. I would also like to start using the

Any additional comments?

It was interesting that many of the techniques are similar to those in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People!

Excellent book that goes into listening as well as questioning and leading conversations. He goes beyond the standard mirroring and focusing on others that most books on listening suggest. It also included some powerful suggestions on sales lines. On the downside there were parts I would skip for they were a little presumptuous and other parts that I do not agree with. However, there were enough great parts to recommend this book.

The tone of the book is like that of a car salesman--not the smooth, unctuous persuasive sort, but the loud obnoxious kind for whom the most basic social queues are entirely enigmatic. The kind that accidentally chases people away and can't figure why. I expect the author started in sales and took psychology to understand why he couldn't manipulate people the way he wanted. Still ... points to him, i bought his book.

His tactics include mirroring to invite dialogue (which is fine but old advice, and entirely basic) and breathing through ones nose to calm down out of "animal mode" (who hasn't seen this on TV?). This book might have been the product of an epiphany (or several) for the author, but I can't imagine it would benefit anyone with an average emotional IQ.

I became embarrassed for listening to it, and became frustrated because he seemed to want to teach listening as a tactic rather than a practice; as a "means" rather than an "end." As though listening were a necessary evil for gathering attention, influence, or affection and not valuable in itself. (Why not simply listen because people need to be listened to?) I bought this wanting to improve my listening ability, not to trick people into talking to me, not to "appear interested", and not to get people to like me. The author is too often trying to teach how to appear interested and sincere as though sincerity were not natural and people were not already interesting. Also the author is so frequently the hero of his stories and so often beings them with I, I, I, me, me, me that it counts against his claims of being an extraordinary listener. No one likes to spend time with someone as enamored with himself as the author seems to be. The title though "just listen" is sound advice.

This book gives plenty of realistic scenarios: my teenager son hardly tells me anything, I have to work with a co-worker who's constantly angry, my boss doesn't get what I'm saying, and my spouse and I are always fighting. As you're listening to these scenarios (complete with realistic dialogues), you think "Yes, I've been there. What do I need to do to fix it?" The author then gives solutions that move people from arguing to empathizing to listening. The solutions aren't earth shattering. The secret is knowing the right things to say. Just as the solution to being healthy is exercising and eating well. The secret is finding a routine that works for you. I'm sure I'll be referring back to this book. After I absorb the ideas, I would have to go back and find the methods and dialogues that would fit me.

Me: "Well, Dr. Goulston, I'm a lawyer. I end up in some pretty nasty fights on a fairly regular basis. I wanted to find out if there was anything I could do to defuse the argument without running to a judge for a court order."

Dr. Goulston: "And the book helped you how?"

Me: "I found out that people who are really angry may not be thinking at all. It's called 'amygdala hijack,' primitive brain has taken over, and the person is in "fight or flight" mode. I also found out when someone is attacking and reacting, turning beet red and blustery, they are thinking with a higher emotional brain. And I learned that to get someone to look logically at a situation, you need to have them thinking with their highest, rational brain."

I listened to "Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone" (2009) by Mark Goulston, MD, twice - because I wanted to know how to calm a fight over legal and evidentiary issues, and help my teenagers work to 'fix the problem, not the blame.' Long ago, I discovered saying, "Just calm down" in either situation had about the same effect as telling someone to 'f*** off'. I didn't know why, but I do now and I know what to say - and do - next time. I won't yell back. I won't point fingers. I will use the techniques Goulston recommends to decelerate the ire. That includes asking 'fill in the blank' questions - like the title to this review.

I have some valuable techniques that I've started using - although I'm not the target reader/listener. "Just Listen" is directed towards supervisors, managers and execs; and salespeople. A good third of the book discussed handling situations I don't find myself in. I expect someone in those jobs will find this book even more helpful than I did.

This book walks through the details of how to actually listen to anyone, and how to get through to those who may be difficult to deal with. This book has changed my interactions at work and enabled me to be a more effective communicator and leader. Would recommend to anyone who is interested in self-improvement, especially in the areas of communication.

The reader was easy on the ears (I wish he read every book I wanted to listen to!)

This book surprised me. Not because I wasn't sure what to expect but because I actually found myself using some of his tips and recommendations within days of hearing them. Let me explain...

I could hear doors slamming and raised voices. I ran upstairs to see my 11 year-old daughter in tears and visibly shaking with anger. Her younger brother had wound her up to breaking point and she had snapped. He had jumped into the relative security of the shower by the time I arrived and so it was just me and an uncontrollable young lady.

Three days earlier, my reaction would have been to raise my voice, which can be booming I am told, at both of them, shouted until I was hoarse and sent them both to bed. I might have even smashed something to really emphasise the point. However, I found myself desperately trying to remember the advice from the 'book'.

My first task was to realise that I was not dealing with a sane human being. I had to talk her down from her primitive status to engage the correct part of the brain that I could then start to rationalise with. I did his and then began the inquest, calmly. When my son finished his shower we all discussed what had happened and it ended, well, better than my normal approach.

Some of you may think that this is just common-sense, in which case the book may not be for you.

So, why not five stars? Two reasons; firstly, the delivery of the book is not to my liking. You get used to it after a while but I enjoy listening to Stephen Fry and Bill Bryson (William Roberts). Secondly, I don't believe all the examples - some of them seem a bit far-fetched. For example, after years of seeing dozens of 'shrinks' a patient capitulates after a single sentence from the author. Whilst I understand the sentiment and can see his instruction in action, I just don't believe it.

Both of these are small points that can be overlooked, or taken with a pinch-of-salt, quite easily. I enjoyed the book very much and would recommend it.

8 of 9 people found this review helpful

Amazon Customer

Wembley, United Kingdom

11/3/12

Overall

"Everyone should read/listen to this book."

My job involves communication and mentoring young people through very difficult times in their lives. This book has excellent practical scripts which have enabled me to reach both adults and young people who are stuck in destructive cycles and move them to a more positive place.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

Justin

PULBOROUGH, United Kingdom

11/19/12

Overall

"Outstanding"

I've 'read' some excellent books this year and yet this one stands out as one of the very best. Clear and helpful insights into how to deepen any relationship that will appeal and inform those who are interested as well as professionals who are looking to sharpen their practice. Warmly recommended.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

Tahira

United Kingdom

12/23/12

Overall

"Just Listen"

An aptly named book ... excellently written in a way that the writer engages with the reader (or rather listener)! Very easy to understand and to apply the principles Mark Goulston suggests. This man knows his stuff and nice to have a book written by someone who practises rather than a pure theoretical academic!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

jane

DEVIZES, United Kingdom

1/9/13

Overall

"dont bother"

the guy's tone of voice turned me off in 10 mins, found it too 'sales' like and gave up.. waste of a credit - would like to give it no stars but audible wont let me

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

L

LITTLEHAMPTON, United Kingdom

1/17/14

Overall

Performance

Story

"Gentle if not a little repetitive"

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes. Simple and sage advice on the importance of listening.

What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

When the author shares his experiences.

What about Walter Dixon’s performance did you like?

He was very softly and thoughtfully spoken.

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Neither, although I could relate t many of the examples given.

Any additional comments?

No

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Hamidreza

LEISCESTER, United Kingdom

4/13/13

Overall

"Just Listen!!!"

Just listen to this book and you will learn a lot about your fiends, surroundings and your day to day interactions.

Things which you may not consider important and ignore in your interactions are reminded in this work and you can see the impact of a minimal change when you follow some of the points.

Mark Goulston; you deserve a star!

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

KazO

Basingstoke

4/13/13

Overall

"Very Good Stuff"

Just listen....

If you want to re-modify your life and improve your communication skills with people especially those you love and those that matter, and ultimately edify yourself - then this is a book to read or easier to listen to.

I am already applying the principles with instant results.

Thanks Mark.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Robert

Flint, United Kingdom

2/15/13

Overall

"This is a great addition to your collection"

Brilliantly read and content is even better.

Mark Goulston has some great content and ideas.

0 of 0 people found this review helpful

Mark

Arundel, United Kingdom

2/19/13

Overall

"Super patronising"

I dislike being patronised, but I hung in, hoping to find some valuable content as the book progressed. Unfortunately my patience was not rewarded.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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