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"French Toast" (Teen Monologue, Female) *Humorous*

Lindsey lives in a nice two story home in the suburbs.
She's very pretty, outgoing, full of energy, and fun to be around. She's
confident, walks with status, but yet she's not stuck-up. At school she's
a trendsetter and has lots of friends. She has a large bedroom, with a
connecting bathroom, which leads to her brother's room. Kenny, Lindsay's
little brother, is thin, muscular, and full of energy, to the point of
being hyper and annoying. For the most part, he's a good brother, he just
seems to irritate Lindsey with his adventures to capture juicy information
from her room. Even though it's only a fantasy, he feels that it's his
obligation to uncover any secret information she might be hiding from
mom and dad. All Lindsey's friends live in the same neighborhood, within
walking distance of each other. Lindsey's best friend Jen, has a deep,
down-to-earth kind of beauty, that's only hidden by a lack of attention.
It would only take a make-over, wiping away the years of neglect, to reveal
a beautiful girl, equipped to handle the insecurities of the past. She
lives with her mom, who doesn't make a lot of money, but they have a good
relationship and are content with the basics. Lindsey not only see's Jennifer
as a friend, but also feels it's her obligation to bring out Jen's inner
beauty and social popularity.
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Lindsey: (Sitting on her bed with her headphones
on listening to music, until she hears the phone) Hello? Oh hi Jen! What's
up? (beat) Oh yeah, no that's okay, I think Mr. Humphreys is the only
teacher that didn't get the memo...you know, the memo that says that "MATH"
isn't the only class we have all day...that man is putting a serious crimp
on my social schedule. I think he's trying to beat the record for the
most consecutive days for major exams. (beat) say, if you want, why don't
you come over to my house tonight, and we'll go over it together. The
refrigerator is stocked, so we'll have a lot of fun! What are you going
to wear to the dance this Friday? (bear) You're not going!?...What do
you mean you're not going...Everybody's going! (beat) Oh, come on, you're
beautiful. You know guys,...they're always waiting till the last minute.
(beat)(sympathetic) OOOh, I think you look great with glasses, they give
you character...(thinking of something sympathetic) and they make you
loooook....(Thinking of a word) SOPHISTICATED! Have you ever tried contacts?
You can even get them in colors. I think Sharon should wear red, to match
her witchy attitude...that girl's got serious problems (pause) Did you
see what she did with her hair? My gosh,...she dyed it JET BLACK! It's
not enough that's she's already pale, but she had to go and dye her hair
black...I think she was going for the gothic look...now she just looks
spooky....she should have left it the way it was...(beat) What?...Oh I
heard,...was it on her back all day?...You'd think somebody would have
told her; that was such a nice jacket too...poor thing; (thinking to herself)
I would have got it in purple...(angry) Anyway, I hate those disgusting
birds...you know, it's just a matter of time till we ALL make their "Hit
List". (beat) Sweety I'm telling you, there's nothing to worry about.
You're just new, and nobody knows you yet. I'm sure there's lots of guys
that would love to take you to the dance. If I was a guy I'd take you
out (giggles). Anyway we still have a few days, just give them a chance.
(beat) Will you quit putting yourself down. Listen, a few highlights,
and they'll be slobbering all over you. Really though, you're cute, so
don't worry about it. Take my word for it, having a bunch of guys hanging
around you all day, acting immature, is highly over-rated; a girl's got
to be selective, so just be patient. (her brother Kenny comes into the
room) Hang on Jen...(to Kenny) What are you doing in my room? Did anybody
say you could come in? And what about knocking? Hey!...And by the way,
were you digging around in my diary again?...No! You can't borrow my cd's!...I
know it was you, I never leave it on top of my dresser. If I ever find
out that you've been digging around in my room while I'm gone, I'm going
to tell everybody at school that you still wet your bed (beat)...I don't
care if you don't, I'll tell them anyway!...Now get out of my room before
I tell mom.....MOM!!!! (to herself, as Kenny runs out) I thought so...Hi
Jen, where were we? Oh Yeah! Brad's taking me. Yeah, we're both thinking
about wearing blue, and wearing our Converse All Stars; it ought to be
fun! He's so cute, I love it when he gives in to me. (beat) Oh David?...He's
past history. The football team thought it would be so macho if they all
shaved their heads on both sides and got a Mohawk for team spirit...as
if anything would help them with their losing streak...so I broke-up with
him. I mean it's not bad enough that he gave-in to peer pressure or that
it looks absolutely stupid, but the fact that he didn't even bother telling
me first. I told him, hopefully you WIN a game, because I don't want you
hanging around ME anymore. I could see it if our team was NUMBER ONE,
and they just wanted to have a trademark or start a fashion trend. But
pleeeease...give me a break. (pause, thinking to herself)...And he had
such nice hair too. (pause) Anyway,my mom's going to take us, so why don't
we pick you up at your house and we can all go together! Wouldn't that
be fun! (beat)(phone rings on the other line) Hang on Jen, someone's on
the other line...Hello?...Ivan?...Ivan who?...(beat) You sit in the back
of my English Class?...(beat) with Mrs. Merril? Oh yeah, now I remember.
You're that new guy with the accent...Hang-on. I think my mom's calling
me (switches/excited) Hey Jen!...You'll never guess who's on the other
line!...You know the boy, in our English Class, the one that's new, that
sits in the back...You know...the one with the cute accent!...He's on
the other line!(beat) I know, I can't believe it either!...Hang-on. (switches)
Ivan?...I'm back. How do you like Mrs. Merril? She's cool isn't she? (beat)
Yeah, she gives me a break on my grades and a hall pass whenever I need
one...Hey, where are you from anyway? You sound like you're from somewhere
foreign. (beat) Oh really...France?...Oh how cool! I always thought it'd
be neat to go there, matter of fact I'm taking my first French Class this
year...Hang-on Ivan, I think,...I think I smell smoke...Hang-on (switches)
Jen, are you still there?...He's from France, he's a French Foreign Exchange
Student!...He's so cute...I love his accent...(excited) Hang-on...Hang-on!
(switches/trying to maintain her composure) Ivan, so do you have a girlfriend
back home. (beat) Cool!...I mean, Oh...that's too bad. Are you going to
the dance this Friday? (beat) Oh yeah...(beat) I do know her...(beat)
She's my best friend...(beat) I'm sure I could arrange that...(beat) I
don't know, you know a lot of boys have already asked her out. (beat)
No!...Hang-on! Wait!...I don't think she's committed...Ivan? Hang-on,
my dog just puked on my latest copy of Teen Magazine...Hang-on (switches)
He doesn't have a girl friend!...He wants to ask you out!...I guess he
saw us hanging-out around school together and he wants me to find out
if you like him or not...He-wants-to-ask-YOU to the dance! I told him
you had lots of offers but hadn't committed, so don't sound too eager,
and I told him you'd be coming over tonight and we'd talk about it. So
what are you going to wear? (excited) Wait!,Wait!...Let me think! Okay,
okay,...you can wear those white converse tennis shoes we got at the mall
the other day. Pick-out some red knee-knee-high socks (beat) ..sure you
do. I saw you wear them the other day. (beat) Yeah those,...and I'll let
you borrow my red pleated skirt, you know the plaid one with the shiny
black belt, and my brother's got one of those nice long sleeve dress shirts,
that he never wears, and you can use one of you dad's red striped ties...Can't
you just see it, ...that'd be so cool...you'd be sort of Punker, or Rock
Star, but not over-the-top! We're going to look awesome together!...Hang-on...(switches/trying
to maintain her composure) Ivan, sorry to keep you waiting...(beat) Oh
the dog?...Oh yeah, he's okay, I saw him eating grass earlier, he always
does that, when he's feeling sick. (beat) What?...Oh don't worry she'll
never know a thing...I know she's got busy social schedule; with being
popular and all...but we're getting together tonight, and I'll find out
what's going on...okay?...Hang-on, someone's knocking on my door, Hang-on.
(switch) Oh my gosh! He thinks you're "Tres Jolie"...it means, "You're
very pretty!", in french...Oh I'm so excited, this is going to be so awesome!...And
afterwards you can spend the night at my house,...we'll have a little,
girl talk...watch a couple of cool movies...eat a little popcorn...(Tommy
comes into the room again) Hang-on again!(switches to hold) Brat!...I
told you never to come in my room again...(beat) I don't care what you
want!...Tommy, I swear, if you don't get out of the room right now, I'm
going to go downstairs to mom and throw the worst hissy fit you've ever
seen and she's going to ground you from that computer for a week!...You
know I'll do it, so you'd better get your little butt out of here now!...I
mean it! (Tommy leaves, Lindsey talks low to herself) Finally!...Good
riddance!...(flustered, and lost her train of thought and realizes she
still has two people on the line) Oooh my gosh!...(talks hurriedly) Hello
Gotta-go..I'll see you tomorrow..bye! (hangs-up on Ivan and switches)
Sometimes my little brother can just drive me up-the-wall...or should
I say "younger", he's not really "little". Matter of fact, I have to admit,
he's kind of cute, but I'll never tell HIM that, he's got a big head already...Anyway...Ivan's
absolutely nuts about you! I'm sure he's probably dreaming of you right
now, wondering how he's going to pop the question!...You see how easy
that was?...I don't think he ever suspected a thing, so be surprised when
he asks you....okay?...Jen?...Hello?...Are you there?...IIIIIIIVVVAAAAN?????!!
(nervous giggle) HuHu..(tries to recover) I didn't know you were...I mean...Jen
just called ...she says...uuuuuhhh...she says that she's absolutely nuts
about you...she can't wait til you pop the question...I don't think she
suspects a thing...That's right, I already said that, didn't I?...Well
gotta go...Don't be surprised if she says "Yes" when you ask her...I'm
outy, Bye, Bye (Hangs-up)....OOOOPS!