“He just sits in the fridge all day absorbing vodka-sauce,” reported the Flying Rotini Monster, brother of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). After coming home after a late night of pasta parties Friday evening, reported […]

On a fateful February morning, 25 year old Jackie Friedman turned her selfie stick around and started taking pictures of other people. Friedman explained, “One day my selfie stick was broken and in the middle […]

If you just focus your positive thoughts on something, says the New Age, “Law of Attraction,” you will attract that thing to you. “But I think about food all the time… I am starving after all. It doesn’t seem to be attracting to me.” said Joseph Mibutu. […]

“No one expected that this could be done in our lifetime,” said Dr. Franz Ferdinand of the University of Munich. Ferdinand is believed to be the first scientist to have advanced science without advancing mankind’s ability to kill each other in more creative and effective ways. […]

“Our tests indicate that children exposed to cell phone radiation in the womb are far more likely to develop at least one superpower,” said Samsung CEO Oh-Hyun Kwon. “People don’t realize just how much radiation […]

Todd Straton is sending shock-waves through culture after his comedy routine has pushed the boundaries again. Straton reportedly hailed drinking, partying, and smoking while performing at a popular hip-hop bar on the southside of Chicago […]

A recently released study of twenty corn farmers in Tennessee is expected to result in significant life changes for millions of people. This study, conducted solely on corn farmers, suggested the people who have the […]

The AP reports that no one has been critically injured after U.S. Presidential candidate Joseph Tamracky was caught on video tape respectfully listening to his opponents view. A surviving witness said this, “I was standing […]

“This new degree will take you to, “the foot,” of the most powerful people in the world,” said Justin Delaney, recruiter for the University of Indiana. Delaney explained that there would be no dull days […]