Schumer, who married Fischer in a Malibu lot she'd rented at the last minute, said the benefit of getting hitched so impulsively is that the couple's still steeped in a fairy tale.

“Part of the thing that’s good about us getting married so quickly is that we’re so in love,” she said. “Every girl I know, if they get proposed to, they’re like, ‘Oh, now? Now that I can’t have kids!’”

And if you think Schumer somehow managed to pull off top-notch vows at breakneck speed, you'd...not be correct.

“Mine sucked!” she said. “I thought mine were good — I wrote mine in, like, 20 minutes [and] I was crying when I wrote them, but his blew me out of the water so hard...All his stories about me that were supposed to be endearing were about me screaming at him. I just annoy him all day.”

Still, Schumer said wedded life has been mostly bliss.

“It feels f------ good!”she said. “I’m wife as hell. But it’s still, like, a novelty. Somebody went to sit next to [my husband] and he’s like, ‘My wife is sitting here,’ and then I got back and he was excited to tell me that he said that.”