Steve Jobs: Eight Reasons Why Apple Might Have Hated the Jobs Doll

After an unboxing and testing, I have eight reasons why Apple might object to the erstwhile $139 doll.

Apple’s cease and desist order against two Chinese manufactures of the Steve Jobs ultra-realistic action figure comes as no surprise, really. Before inIcon and partners agreed this week to stop production — despite the CEO’s cocky pronouncement last month that it was going to proceed no matter what — Apple claimed it owned the late CEO’s image. But it won’t say more. After an unboxing and testing, I have eight reasons why Apple might object to the erstwhile $139 ultrarealistic figure.

1. It should not bend because Jobs, though brilliant, was infamously inflexible.

2. When you pull the string, it only says: “Magical.”

3. It doesn’t quite work if you hold it wrong. Clearly this doll won’t work properly without an extra tee shirt.

4. There are no Tim Cook or Larry Ellison action figure sidekicks in the works.

5. You can’t change the battery. Basically, you need to buy a new one.

6. A copy of the Bhagavad-gita is sold separately.

7. There should only be one Steve Jobs action figure, if any, on the market. And then the manufacturer should break the mold.