Should I leave my GF?

Hi,

im 23 nearly 24, ive been seeing this girl now for 4 years and long story short I dont know if I want to be with her anymore. Now the thing is theres nothing wrong with her and its nothing shes done. shes a wonderful person, probably one of the nicest people ive ever met but i just dont feel that attracted to her anymore. I cant really explain it properly but its like ive only just become aware of what she actually looks like, like ive stopped and looked closer sorta thing. I look at her and I just dont feel anything, she doesnt do anyting for me.

Now i know this is kinda shallow and looks arent permanent but im left asking myself "well shouldnt I be with someone who when I look at them my heart skips a beat" as corny as that sounds, shouldnt I be with someone who i just find insanely attractive?

To give you all a bit of back story into why this thinking has come about, when we was first dating, like the 1-3 month period I cheated on her, a handful of times but I stopped when I realised I actually had feelings for her, she was sweet, kind and just wanted the best for me. I told her what I had done further down the line and she forgave me. I dove right into the relationship then. Things was going well for about 3 years but then I started having my head turned again, I told myself I just needed better self control and that these was just temporary feelings that all guys experience.

But then I started to fantasize about other woman and I dont just mean sexaul I mean whole future scenarios with family and kids and the thing was none of these future fantasies involved my girlfriend. Its kind of like I dream of someone I havent even met yet. (PS sorry for the long post, thankyou to anyone still reading)

Now as I said shes a wonderful person, best person ive ever been with, she treats me like a king and basically half the time whorships the ground I walk on, im terrified to talk to her about all this cos I know itll break her heart. im also scared even if I found someone I was madly attracted to they wouldnt treat me the way she treats me and id regret leaving.

Yes, breakup with her. All guilt aside, you both are pretty young to have had a 4yr long relationship. You are at a time in your lives where you are still figuring things out. Not uncommon for feelings to change at your age.

I would part ways before you become that cheater or liar. I have a feeling this will break your heart also. Time to move on a find the love of your life. You’re still at that age fingering out life. The longer you stay, more pressure will be to set a date. Don’t feel guilt to stay that’s not fair to either of you.

Clearly she is not treating you as you want and maybe worship is not what you want in a relationship. Is it that she treats you as she envisions a bf would want to be treated? Rather than what you want. Is it that everything is too nice. Is she just a little docile and ambition-less. Or are her ambitions meaningless to you.

What do you want? A woman who thinks of herself as your equal or better. Who teases you, and can be a little rough with your feelings. A woman who puts the fear in you that she will leave you?

If she is not a fit, and some minor adjustment cannot be made. Then you need to level with her about what you want and leave her.

You dont stay with someone because she is nice to you and you are supposed to be with her. You stay with someone because you feel in your gut that she is the one for you and she makes you think of a future with her, and she thinks the same about you. Otherwise, your life will be utterly boring and sooner or later the bubble will burst.

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