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Topic : 06/16 A Daughter in Danger?

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Created on : Thursday, November 08, 2007, 07:38:18 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/14/07) When Shawn’s daughter, Katherine, was only 16 years old, she made international headlines when she ran away to the Middle East to be with 20-year-old Abdullah, whom she met on MySpace -- a man she never met in person but was convinced she was in love with. The FBI intercepted her in Jordan and escorted her back to the United States. Unbeknownst to her family, Katherine secretly continued a relationship with Abdullah via the phone and the computer for two years. After turning 18, Katherine said goodbye to her family and left to be with Abdullah in the war-torn Gaza Strip. Katherine’s family is terrified that she’s never going to return. They think Abdullah is lying to Katherine and possibly even brainwashing her. They say when she calls, something doesn’t sound right. Is she afraid for her life, but unable to tell them? Is she being held against her will? Dr. Phil talks with Katherine via satellite from Palestine, and has some hard questions for Abdullah about his real intentions with Katherine. Join the discussion.

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Myspace

I have myspace and so does my kids. But I am always aware of who they are talking to. They do not go into the chat rooms there. Most of their friends on their page are local kids. What I dont understand if this girl was talking to this guy 2 yrs ago and the family found out, why did they keep a computer in the house. They should of put a password on the computer where she couldnt log on. Referring to the phone calls, 20 calls a day who was paying for the phone bills? All parents should be aware of who they are talking to on the phone. I know I am always asking my 15 yr old son and my 19 yr old daughter who they talk to on the phone. I feel for this family and hopefully they can get her back home safely.

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Katherine is obviously too young to marry anyone, let alone someone she has never met in real life. I agree that her decision to travel to Jericho was rash and unwise. I do hope she will take the opportunity Dr. Phil has offered her to call for help and get home.

However...

I am very disappointed that this story has brought out such xenophobic feelings in some people here. Obviously, an 18-year-old has no business traveling to the Middle East against her family's wishes. However, it's also wrong to make the broad statement that people should not marry someone from another culture, move to another country, or find love on the internet. I have done all three (though I was much older and the country was not a war zone), and could not be happier.

I think Americans should open up more to other cultures, learn languages and travel more. The United States would have a better image abroad if Americans were more culturally sensitive -- within the boundaries of common sense, of course. I think that this story could have been averted if Katherine had learned about the country and culture of Palestine. I wish American schools could do a better job teaching children to speak other languages and know the world they live in.

OK story so far I have gotten.....

BUT my question is WHY is her mom doing something NOW instead of THEN?? Since her daughter is 18 now she(mom) really cant stop her from moving out or even getting a life of her own with a man. Many cultures(or parts of the country /world) is different about treating women. Many treat women with the upmost respect, others well they treat them like slime at the bottom of a barrel.

If she ( the daughter) wants out of the relationship, SHE is the one that has to make the first move, NOT MOM! Mom needs to realize her daughter is growing up and must make choices on her own, the daughter is 18 NOW!

ALOT of questions hopefully will be answered on the show.Ill post more later.

that she DID run away at 16! SHE WAS/IS RETURNED BY THE AUTHORITIES TO THER MOTHER! Then she ran away 2 weeks AFTER she turned 18!

Apperently she WANTS to be with the man she loves(still unconfirmed by mom and the show that he IS abusing her and STILL we dont know if its a fact or not). SHE IS 18! Mom or the law now cant touch her IF she doesnt want to come back, and you cant make her come back if she doesnt want to. ONLY SHE (the daughter) cant leave if she wants to not Dr Phil or anyone.

I am thinking the mom needs to cut the cord and quit with this, mom DOES talk to her on the phone (everyday and/or everyother day from the show)and CAN hear her voice and KNOW she is alive. And she CAN see her on the show as well. The mom is going overboard with this. IF AND I SAY IF he is being abusive to her she can leave (from what it sounds she still dont have a VISA,which is what he IS supposed to get 2 years ago). SHE HAS TO LEAVE ON HER OWN, NOT BY THE FAMILIES WILL!

Many families dont/cant accept the new man in a persons life. My mother did the same thing, but I learned on my own and made my own choices.

Really this isnt a kidnapping if she left AFTER turning 18 and on her own!BEFORE when she was 16,yes it was. NOW it isnt! This is going overboard with the family. She is 18 and needs to live her life and mom needs to cut the cord.

Some reflections on today's show

First I would agree with Dr. Phil that it is not OK for this girl to do what she has/will done/do for the following reasons:

She is less than 25 years old and she can't predict the consequences of her behavior. Having said that and as I mentioned in a previous posting, this is a gap between law and science. Law is allowing this girl to do and keep doing what she is doing, the science says she is not mature enough to predict the very important and critical things that she got herself involved in.

If possible, Abdullah should be asked the following question" Would he allow his sister to know and love an American who is not Muslim and leave her family and join him in US against the will of her brother Abdullah and the rest of her family, having an intimate relation with that man" I think if his sister does so she will be prosecuted, judged and the sentence is "Honor killing". If he really loves this American girlfriend he will apply the same rules and traditions that he will apply for his sister. That lead us to the real motive of Abdullah which is just to travel and live in USA and once he gets that he will throw away his " sweetheart" in a heart beat.

I think this case indicates that the struggle between the West and the East has extended and contaminated even the emotional and personal relations such as love. Some US citizens will look at this case as if they are losing a round with the East since the reaction will not be that strong if Abdullah is " John or Peter" and is living in Europe. Also Abdullah family want to score against USA by doing the impossible to have this US girl in a relationship/marriage with their son.

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

i will not blame the mother. you can not watch these kids 24/7. people have jobs and other kids to raise. her mother probably talked to her over and over and it just went in one ear and out the other. when a child leaves the parents house they do what they want. kids have minds of their own and those are minds of a child not an adult. my 20 year old just met a man on the internet. i talked to him. come to find out she had him pick her up from our home. even he told my daughter that was not wise. but she is still going to his house and he has bought her things and she claims no sex but i was shocked to find she went to his house alone no less and now he knows where we live. this just goes to show how kids do not listen to us. actually i believe it is stupid on the woman's part to even go to another state with a man let alone another country. i have a friend who left her house , job, and her car, to be with a man another state. he had already cheated on her while he was in the other state when he first arrived in the state. he even told her and told her how stupid she was. he ended up dumping her and she got back with him months later and moved to the state with him. they were only together 6 months and she was back home. no job, no home, no car. she now has to start all over again. she is living with her grown kids. sad. i hate to say it but most men will not pack up and leave like that. he has to have some kind of control over the situation. not us women. we go in blind as bat and think love will conquer all. i learned at an early age that is not the case. actually i was 18 when i learned that. i am glad i was 18 and stupid i do not want to be 39 and stupid. get it together young lady.

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

I find this story pretty offensive. Sure it is a pretty big deal when a 16 year old runs away to meet some guy on myspace. But that was two years ago, now she's known the guy for 3 years, and she's an adult. Sure many of us would say she is being really stupid but lots of people marry right out of high school or have children way too young and thats stupid as well. This story is focusing on the "mysterious and evil" place that is the middle east. They are also trying to say that men who are from there are predators and brainwashers. Its so ethnocentric and pretty disgusting. The fact is that this girl has not joined the Family, shes not drinking koolaid, she calls her mom every day! Ya this guy may be a jerk, and the girl is almost certainly immature, but this show is portraying him as a kidnapper and her as victim. Open your minds people! Non-americans aren't savages or pedophiles, and all cities outside the states aren't filled with diseases and terrorists.

I can't watch today's show...

We've already been through this. Seven years ago, our oldest daughter met an Iranian online and carried on a relationship with him secretly. He was married with two small children. Five years ago, he was finally divorced, sent his ex-wife back to her parents and kept the children. Our daughter flew to Turkey and married him, but promised us she wouldn't go over there to live, that they were trying to get him into Canada. Well, it was all a lie. Five months after my mother died, she came to us and told me that she had always hated me and that I had never done anything but ruin her life. In Oct. 2004, she got on a plane and flew off to be with him in Iran, but not before she came to us and told me that she had always hated me and that I had never done anything but ruin her life. She was over 21, and there was nothing we could do. So, who lost out in all of this? The little boy she left behind, our grandson, who we adopted and are now raising as our own. He understands that his father walked away when he was a baby (and hasn't seen him since), but he doesn't understand how his mother could abandon him and go raise someone else's kids. Neither do we. The little girl we raised, who could have been anything she wanted to be, is as good as dead and gone, lost to us forever. She selfishly chose her own "happiness" over her son. Thankfully, she can't have anymore children, and I suppose that when she does eventually die, her no good significant other won't bother to tell us. We lost all patience and tolerance in this situation a long time ago. As much as we might pity any girl who would stupidly put herself into such a despicable situation, our heart goes out the family who is left behind to worry and grieve.

11/14 A Daughter in Danger?

Was I the only one who noticed Katherine's eyes when Dr.Phil was interviewing her? She had so much fear and emptiness in her eyes, it was heartbreaking. Noone will ever convince me that he's not brainwashing her!!! And whenever Dr.Phil explained to her that all she's got to do is say the word and he'll get her out of there, she said thank you. Not, "I don't want to leave, I'm happy here." But "thank you". If things were all rosey and wonderful, she would have said so. She is looking for a way out but Abdullah is holding her prisoner, physically and emotionally.

OMG What the Heck were the parents doing for the last 2 yrs??

I can not believe what I just watched...Dr. Phil I am shocked you did not call out her mom on her behavior and contributions to this situation. I mean good lord it is not like it was a surprise she took off over there again. I mean seriously what was her parents thinking....when she got brought home the first time why didnt they Disconnect the internet....disconnect her cell phone and change their home number??? I had a similar instance with my daughter and the first thing I did was disconnect the internet, sure she was mad but I didnt care, it was for her safety and it worked. I have a very hard time sympathizing with this family on this, cause from what I can see they did NOTHING to stop this from happening then they act all surprised and hurt and shocked....what did they think would happen? They did nothing to stop the communication for 2 whole years, so now they must reap what they have sowed...I hope the girl finds her way through all this and I hope this is a warning to other parents to be aware of such things we are not ment to be friends to our children....we are PARENTS no matter how mad they get at us. And mom I hope you realize what contributions you have made to this situation...your not the victim, you were the passenger in a car that YOU were driving. Take responsiblity for you part in all this.