Best Christmas Card Picture of the Year, So Far

I don’t know where to start. The mayor of San Juan is wishing you a Christmas filled with… well, apparently antelope blood. The card’s sentiment hopes “that you may illuminate your dream.” Candidly, my dream is to make it through the season without having a leopard go for my jugular.

And there’s more: look at the little kid on the left. Anyone else thing her head is at an alarmingly right-angle to her body? And possibly the wrong size? If she’s Photoshopped, I can’t blame her, I wouldn’t want to be that close to a lunging killer, either. The only one in the picture who looks like she knows what she’s doing is the woman, second from right: she looks like she’s embarrassed to be there.

Holiday note to Hizzoner: next year, go for gorillas versus crocodiles. I saw them fight once on a TV show, and it was really cool.