Edited to add: re housekeepers - I mentioned a while back that ours is on vacation until October. Last night my teenage daughters said "Do we HAVE to have Christa come back? It's not like she really does anything." I raised an eyebrow and said "Are you serious? She works for 4-5 hours every Thursday, and I can tell you she ain't spending that time watching soaps and eating bon-bons." They may not notice any difference to the house, but my husband and I sure do.

You should get your daughters to take over Christa's duties in the interim (and pay them, if they do a good job). Sounds like it's about time they got a heads-up on what is actually involved in running a household, and their future roommates will thank you for it.

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"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude." - Oscar Wilde

During the Depression, Mom and her siblings always had enough to eat at home but, kids will be kids. She and her friends would steal potatoes from produce trucks and take them to the swamp that later became the town athletic field. There, they'd build a small campfire with stolen matches and feast on roast potatoes after school. Somehow, one of the kids always had a secret stash of salt.

This is the same woman who met my father in the back of a pick-up truck on New Year's Eve. She was also the one who was gravely worried that enjoying 'The Doors' and 'The Stones' meant I wouldn't be a proper lady.

Me [after a long day of vacation driving]: hey, mom. We stopped for the night and are in [hotel]. We just had a huge dinner and I insisted the boys immediately go swimming.ChipMom:

Last year Nurse posted a list of summer myths. One was about the not swimming for 1/2 - 1 hour after eating. She said it was a myth that you would drown because all your blood would go to your tummy to digest the food and you would get cramps in our arms and legs./I looked at her and said are you serious.

She said yes

I said - In my family the rule is you rest for 1/2 - 1 hour after a big meal to avoid unpleasant reaction of full tummy + heat + motion = sick. We were allowed to paddle around but not body surf, water ski, jump off the diving board and swim under water to the shallow end for 1/2 hour or so. We always ate a big lunch when we swam because it was lots of exercise and we were starving.

My mom always insisted I eat while I was swimming. She would seriously pull me out of the pool, make me eat a snack, and then go back to swimming. Because swimming makes you hungry and hunger in my family is something that must be stopped before it ever starts. To do this day, I have to bring snacks with me when I go to the pool.

My mom does go on and on about TV shows I watch. Usually when I watch the original 90210 (I have the first four season on DVD), she'll go on about how "You didn't even watch this when it was first on"...yeah...cause I was 5. To me it's one of those kind of goofy shows you watch and go...this was really a thing? Just good mindless TV. She always thinks I need to "challenge" myself more. Then she'll pick on me for watching a PBS special or listing to classical music. Make. Up. Your. Mind. By the way, she DVRs General Hospital (now that she has a DVR)...I mean so do I...but if we wanna talk mindless TV...

She also doesn't get why I won't let me dogs eat table scraps or give them anything off my plate when they beg. Because if you give a dog something while they're begging...they'll keep begging! If you ignore them, they give up (especially mine). Also, a lot of scraps aren't good for them. I'll fix them some scrambled eggs, or some ground meat once in a while as treat, but no I'm not feeding them my pizza crust. She thinks it's "not a big deal", but I'm kind of picky about what they do and don't eat. We had a dog who ate almost exactly what we ate, she lived to be 19, so my mom's point is they'll be fine. However, she was very, very overweight, and she was just a bit taller then my two (she was I think 45lbs..and she was corgi/terrier mix), it's very easy for little dogs to become overweight. That's one of the many reasons we're careful about what they eat.

I worry about the dog thing, cause I see her being the same way with my future kid(s). She wants me to give the dogs a treat when they start barking to distract them. Of course that teaches bark=treat. She's kind of the same way with kids. Upset? Here's ice cream to feel better. I want to make sure my kid(s) have better food habits and not teach them to eat to deal with their emotions.

My hope is she remember's what a pain my grandma was to her when I was little (always convinced I was about to drop dead...smoked around me my entire life...cause that makes sense), and curbs her own need to be....helpful.

Not so much a criticism of me but one of other people that I'm sure was made for me to take heed of.

My parents were the first of their group of friends to have kids, and one of the friends used to take me walking along the beach as the whole "cute guy with a cute baby" bait for hot girls. Well apparently he found one, and once they got married, according to my mother, she "let herself go". My mother had a real problem with this and was always telling me a woman had to stay attractive throughout the marriage or she'd lose her husband's interest.

The year DH and I moved back from California, I weighed a bit more than mom thought I should. My middle son was then 18 months old and while I'd lost a good amount of the pregnancy weight, it wasn't all gone and both she and my father were after me to lose it lose it lose it! I had to be attractive for my husband!

Funny thing is when I did get slim enough for them to be happy, DH thought I was too thin.

Logged

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

My back is too broad, apparently. I also shouldn't have' let it hang out so much' that I was clever and I would have had more boyfriends. Oh, and apparently my basement looks like a robber's cave. Who tidies up their basement when they have visitors coming, I ask you?

The second one really chapped my hide. I don't like people who are all 'ooh, I'm so much smarter than you', either (who does), but how on earth can you have a relationship if you are supposed to permanently hide large chunks of your personality? I'm a mathematician, for deity's sake. So I ignored my mother and married someone who I could share my interests with and liked all those things about me.

Oh, and apparently my basement looks like a robber's cave. Who tidies up their basement when they have visitors coming, I ask you?

Isn't that what basements are for? To store Ll the stiff you don't want people to see? I know that's why I miss mine!

That's what I thought andi. The problem is that to get to my garden, you have to go through my basement. They were going to see something in the garden and walked through there.

Still no excuse for the comment, though, especially coming from my parents who used to get so upset at the snarky comments my gran made about crumbs under our sofa cushions. Not the same thing, it seems.

When I finally got up the nerve to tell my parents that I was adopting a child as a single person, they were, in general, supportive but surprised of course. My Dad (who was concerned about the monetary aspect) said to me, "She is going to be an albatross around your neck."

That really hurt and I still remember the comment years later. He adores my daughter but still...

I just remembered - my DM has criticized me before because I enjoy cooking

picture the holidays & I'm making special dishes from scratch - she thinks I spend too much time in the kitchen and she'd rather I spent some of that time with her chatting (we have a smallish kitchen and there's not really room for 2 people ... DH & I learend the hard way)

When I finally got up the nerve to tell my parents that I was adopting a child as a single person, they were, in general, supportive but surprised of course. My Dad (who was concerned about the monetary aspect) said to me, "She is going to be an albatross around your neck."

That really hurt and I still remember the comment years later. He adores my daughter but still...

I think I'd have been so startled at that comment that I might have asked, "Is that how you felt about me, Dad?"

. . .I don't like people who are all 'ooh, I'm so much smarter than you', either (who does), but how on earth can you have a relationship if you are supposed to permanently hide large chunks of your personality? I'm a mathematician, for deity's sake. So I ignored my mother and married someone who I could share my interests with and liked all those things about me.

Yeah, I always thought you were SUPPOSED to make sure the guys knew about all your smarts, quirks, etc. Because it saves time. If they don't like that, they won't ask you out, and you won't have to spend your precious hours on dates with guys who are just going to dump you once they get to know you.

On the first date, I *never* tried to make a good impression. I tried to make an *accurate* impression.

I always tried to be the most concentrated, intense form of me there is on the first date, because if he was going to be turned off or scared off, I wanted him out of the way early. I have better things to do than date guys for practice!

. . .I don't like people who are all 'ooh, I'm so much smarter than you', either (who does), but how on earth can you have a relationship if you are supposed to permanently hide large chunks of your personality? I'm a mathematician, for deity's sake. So I ignored my mother and married someone who I could share my interests with and liked all those things about me.

Yeah, I always thought you were SUPPOSED to make sure the guys knew about all your smarts, quirks, etc. Because it saves time. If they don't like that, they won't ask you out, and you won't have to spend your precious hours on dates with guys who are just going to dump you once they get to know you.

On the first date, I *never* tried to make a good impression. I tried to make an *accurate* impression.

I always tried to be the most concentrated, intense form of me there is on the first date, because if he was going to be turned off or scared off, I wanted him out of the way early. I have better things to do than date guys for practice!

I'm so glad to see that there are plenty of people like me out there. I have no use for slowly revealing my personality anymore. When you go out with me I'm going to be ME, not who I think the guy wants me to be. I can't hide my true personality for too long, so I might as well put it out there

. . .I don't like people who are all 'ooh, I'm so much smarter than you', either (who does), but how on earth can you have a relationship if you are supposed to permanently hide large chunks of your personality? I'm a mathematician, for deity's sake. So I ignored my mother and married someone who I could share my interests with and liked all those things about me.

Yeah, I always thought you were SUPPOSED to make sure the guys knew about all your smarts, quirks, etc. Because it saves time. If they don't like that, they won't ask you out, and you won't have to spend your precious hours on dates with guys who are just going to dump you once they get to know you.

On the first date, I *never* tried to make a good impression. I tried to make an *accurate* impression.

I always tried to be the most concentrated, intense form of me there is on the first date, because if he was going to be turned off or scared off, I wanted him out of the way early. I have better things to do than date guys for practice!

I'm so glad to see that there are plenty of people like me out there. I have no use for slowly revealing my personality anymore. When you go out with me I'm going to be ME, not who I think the guy wants me to be. I can't hide my true personality for too long, so I might as well put it out there

This! There are reasons why my first date with my husband involved me in a corseted fairy costume, katanas, and pumpkins flying through the air. (It helped that it was the day after Halloween.)