This has nothing to do with parenting, home life or neurotic journos... Okay, I lied about that last bit, because I'm about to name-drop and self-promote in order to cling on to the wee smidgen of glory I had as a general film and features jobber before being swallowed up by parenting magazines and domestic blister.

Okay, enough apologising. It's just that I keep reading these 'probing' interviews with Rhys Ifans which 'expose' his ability to do serious drama and darker roles (all while promoting the light-hearted The Boat That Rocked). Well, yeah, I knew that. I interviewed him, like, seven years ago, right. I did. Read it here . I'm extremely excellent, am I not? Diolch yn fawr.

Look what I found (thanks to Gadjets and Gizmos blog)! Yes, a Graphic Equalizer t-shirt. And it works! It's supposed to be for clubbers, but I would suggest it's equally useful as a garment to control rowdy kids. Pop it over their heads, and sell it to them as an anger gage - when the noise hits red, it's off to bed. Who am I kidding. Going to bed early will be a small price to pay for seeing just how long you can keep the LED flashing in the red zone. Maybe it needs simple modification - I'm thinking decibel-triggered chloroform. Nice idea, anyway.