For the most part i say im just Black, but people insist im mixed...which technically i am, but only by my ancestry. But aren't we all??

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Originally Posted by SmilingElephant

Do you live in the US? I have come to the conclusion that perceptions about who is black and who is not has a lot do with culture. myself and family are light and freckled. Some have blue or hazel eyes, and some of my mom's siblings could almost pass, but we've always considered ourselves black without question. Yes we know we're Scot-Irish, Choctaw and African descent but my last white ancestor died right after the CW. The plantation was a long time ago. But when I talk my friends who are from Latin America, they all argue me down insisting I'm not black. I think the difference is in the US, in order to make Jim Crow work, whites supremicists made it if you are even a little black then you're black aka one drop rule. In Latin America it seems the general feeling is if you are even a little anything other than black then you are not black. Not saying everyone thinks this way but that has been my experience. My dad couldn't believe it when I told him people were telling me I'm not black. Not just Latin America. I saw a lady on YT who looks like me who said she went to Namibia and they told her she wasn't black. She was hurt because she was expecting this "return to the motherland experience."
I think the big problem with stereotyping of how "mixed" people look or even what kind of hair they have is that genetics can be tricky. So someone who has a parent of a different race may not look the stereotype while someone with an ancestor from 200 years ago does.

According to Dr. Henry Gates
58 percent of African Americans have at least 12.5 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one great-grandparent);
19.6 percent of African Americans have at least 25 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one grandparent);
1 percent of African Americans have at least 50 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one parent); and
5 percent of African Americans have at least 12.5 percent Native American ancestry (equivalent to one great-grandparent).

Originally Posted by Ayedee

But then, this is the problem for me. People do not accept the diversity of biracial people. My Father is white, my Mother black and I most definitely I.D as biracial, not black or white. Yet, because I have full lips, a button nose and my skin is a little more tanned than some other mixed people, people INSIST I am black, or that I shouldn't 'bother' I.D as mixed because I look black. As it bothers black people to be told they're mixed or must be mixed, it bothers me to be told I must ID as black because I 'look' black. I think I clearly look mixed. I don't feel black, and biracial people are not all very fair with golden-brown hair and green eyes. This is just my take on it, though, as a biracial person. It's made me insecure. I am what I am, and I am sick of people trying to shove me in a box I don't belong to.

Originally Posted by CurlyCarmenCurly

Well I'm going to step on someone's toes w/this, but anyway: It's amazing that the infamous One Drop Rule myth is still accepted as some valid form of reality, especially considering the increased public availability of DNA testing (Btw: 23andMe just lowered the price of their tests by 300% last month). Maybe it still exists because SOME blacks and whites still feel they have something to gain by using it. Some whites use it to maintain a false sense that they are special, privileged members of a small, elite clique who rule everything (although the moment someone biracial achieves something, they are often quick to "claim" that person as part- white - think the president; or for the Asian ODR, think Keanu Reeves). And of course their offspring are less likely to "accidentally corrupt" their precious white blood lines if a lot of people who look like Wentworth Miller (or even Vin Diesel) feel forced to publicly identify as just black.

Conversely, some blacks ODR biracials for political gain: counting biracials as just black is an artificial means of inflating the black political ranks (If people like Huey Newton or Angela Davis weren't ODRed by themselves and others, how much credibility might the Black Panthers have lost?). And just like some whites, these people use the ODR to claim credit for biracial achievement.

I'm sorry to hear you don't get accepted for who you are. I think that's just $hitty. People have to stop expecting biracial and multi-racial people to deny one part of themselves. But also, it's up to biracial ppl to accept all of who we are and not give in to ODR BS.

Do you live in the US? I have come to the conclusion that perceptions about who is black and who is not has a lot do with culture. myself and family are light and freckled. Some have blue or hazel eyes, and some of my mom's siblings could almost pass, but we've always considered ourselves black without question. Yes we know we're Scot-Irish, Choctaw and African descent but my last white ancestor died right after the CW. The plantation was a long time ago. But when I talk my friends who are from Latin America, they all argue me down insisting I'm not black. I think the difference is in the US, in order to make Jim Crow work, whites supremicists made it if you are even a little black then you're black aka one drop rule. In Latin America it seems the general feeling is if you are even a little anything other than black then you are not black. Not saying everyone thinks this way but that has been my experience. My dad couldn't believe it when I told him people were telling me I'm not black. Not just Latin America. I saw a lady on YT who looks like me who said she went to Namibia and they told her she wasn't black. She was hurt because she was expecting this "return to the motherland experience."
I think the big problem with stereotyping of how "mixed" people look or even what kind of hair they have is that genetics can be tricky. So someone who has a parent of a different race may not look the stereotype while someone with an ancestor from 200 years ago does.

According to Dr. Henry Gates
58 percent of African Americans have at least 12.5 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one great-grandparent);
19.6 percent of African Americans have at least 25 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one grandparent);
1 percent of African Americans have at least 50 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one parent); and
5 percent of African Americans have at least 12.5 percent Native American ancestry (equivalent to one great-grandparent).

Originally Posted by Ayedee

But then, this is the problem for me. People do not accept the diversity of biracial people. My Father is white, my Mother black and I most definitely I.D as biracial, not black or white. Yet, because I have full lips, a button nose and my skin is a little more tanned than some other mixed people, people INSIST I am black, or that I shouldn't 'bother' I.D as mixed because I look black. As it bothers black people to be told they're mixed or must be mixed, it bothers me to be told I must ID as black because I 'look' black. I think I clearly look mixed. I don't feel black, and biracial people are not all very fair with golden-brown hair and green eyes. This is just my take on it, though, as a biracial person. It's made me insecure. I am what I am, and I am sick of people trying to shove me in a box I don't belong to.

Originally Posted by CurlyCarmenCurly

Well I'm going to step on someone's toes w/this, but anyway: It's amazing that the infamous One Drop Rule myth is still accepted as some valid form of reality, especially considering the increased public availability of DNA testing (Btw: 23andMe just lowered the price of their tests by 300% last month). Maybe it still exists because SOME blacks and whites still feel they have something to gain by using it. Some whites use it to maintain a false sense that they are special, privileged members of a small, elite clique who rule everything (although the moment someone biracial achieves something, they are often quick to "claim" that person as part- white - think the president; or for the Asian ODR, think Keanu Reeves). And of course their offspring are less likely to "accidentally corrupt" their precious white blood lines if a lot of people who look like Wentworth Miller (or even Vin Diesel) feel forced to publicly identify as just black.

Conversely, some blacks ODR biracials for political gain: counting biracials as just black is an artificial means of inflating the black political ranks (If people like Huey Newton or Angela Davis weren't ODRed by themselves and others, how much credibility might the Black Panthers have lost?). And just like some whites, these people use the ODR to claim credit for biracial achievement.

I'm sorry to hear you don't get accepted for who you are. I think that's just $hitty. People have to stop expecting biracial and multi-racial people to deny one part of themselves. But also, it's up to biracial ppl to accept all of who we are and not give in to ODR BS.

Originally Posted by Korkscrew

What about the ones who do accept all of who they are? I have biracial cousins, and have dated biracials. They don't deny either side, they just find it easier (for themselves and others) to use one ethnicity to identify themselves. I dated someone whose father is black and mother is half native half mexican. To my ex, all this didn't matter. But to be fair people kinda figured it out when my ex started speaking fluent spanish.....LoL.

I have a friend who is "blaxican." She doesn't really know her mexican family outside her mom & aunt. She grew up around her black family. I have another friend and her child is biracial. She has explained to the child her ethnic background fully, and leaves it to up to the child when people ask what she is. This child will say "I'm black," and then proceed to say "I'm half Italian tho." I say all this to make the argument that this could be a case by case thing. Some live by the ODR while others oppose it. I don't think it's right or wrong. I believe it's when, how, and why it's applied that piss folk off...

I agree that the ODR is really pushed when it comes to celebrities. Black folk luuuuuuuv claiming the biracial athletes while they hug and thank their non black mom on TV. Why can't they just be people who are "mixed?" Some people don't like that term either, there are so many different mixes in the world. It's a common term used by all races where I'm from and mixed folk among my acquaintence don't find it offensive.......but hey that could be a case by case thing too.....

What about the ones who do accept all of who they are? I have biracial cousins, and have dated biracials. They don't deny either side, they just find it easier (for themselves and others) to use one ethnicity to identify themselves. I dated someone whose father is black and mother is half native half mexican. To my ex, all this didn't matter. But to be fair people kinda figured it out when my ex started speaking fluent spanish.....LoL.

Originally Posted by MissKris

Right MissKris! So it looks like we agree there are plenty of well-adjusted biracial ppl who accept their dual heritages (including me and many that I know). But please notice that I qualified comments in my last post w/the word "some" to describe the portion of biracials who do happen to struggle re: identity politics, and there are quite a few. ... I'm confused by the idea that someone choosing to omit a large part of who they are when stating their ethnic heritage isn't denying one side. I mean, why say you're only one thing if factually you're about equally both? I don't understand why the person wouldn't just say something factually correct and inclusive, like, "I'm biracial but I relate more to black culture", for example? Why say you're just one when you're factually both?

I have a friend who is "blaxican." She doesn't really know her mexican family outside her mom & aunt. She grew up around her black family. I have another friend and her child is biracial. She has explained to the child her ethnic background fully, and leaves it to up to the child when people ask what she is. This child will say "I'm black," and then proceed to say "I'm half Italian tho." I say all this to make the argument that this could be a case by case thing. Some live by the ODR while others oppose it. I don't think it's right or wrong. I believe it's when, how, and why it's applied that piss folk off...

I was extremely careful to qualify cases where the ODR is psychologically and socially deleterious. I think those cases are sad and happen far too often.

I agree that the ODR is really pushed when it comes to celebrities. Black folk luuuuuuuv claiming the biracial athletes while they hug and thank their non black mom on TV. Why can't they just be people who are "mixed?" Some people don't like that term either, there are so many different mixes in the world. It's a common term used by all races where I'm from and mixed folk among my acquaintence don't find it offensive.......but hey that could be a case by case thing too.....

It's odd, and I know not everyone does that thank God. Sure, I agree: there will always be someone groaning over labels like "mixed". At the same time, terms like "mixed" at least allow flexibility when it comes to more truthful ethnic identification. Glad to hear your culture takes advantage of that flexibility when it comes to how others are viewed. That's terrific

I'm responding to Carmen w/empathy because it sounds like she's been the victim of certain ppl insisting she's black and only black, even after she has explained that she's biracial (I've had some deny to my face that I'm [even partially] black after telling them, so I get the frustration). These are the sort of ppl who would shun her as "mixed", "multiracial" or "biracial" - whatever word, demanding that she call herself just black. And I still say that behavior is $hitty and wrong ... not to mention intrusive, ignorant, controlling and insecure.

My mom is fully black. But I have no idea what my dad was mixed with. My sister told me my grandma's parents looked Asian-black-white (not n that order) . No concrete identifying features. I just say I'm black though. It would be interesting to do a DNA test to see what's inside of me! I'm probably like 60% black and a whole bunch of other stuff lol.

For the most part i say im just Black, but people insist im mixed...which technically i am, but only by my ancestry. But aren't we all??

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Originally Posted by SmilingElephant

Do you live in the US? I have come to the conclusion that perceptions about who is black and who is not has a lot do with culture. myself and family are light and freckled. Some have blue or hazel eyes, and some of my mom's siblings could almost pass, but we've always considered ourselves black without question. Yes we know we're Scot-Irish, Choctaw and African descent but my last white ancestor died right after the CW. The plantation was a long time ago. But when I talk my friends who are from Latin America, they all argue me down insisting I'm not black. I think the difference is in the US, in order to make Jim Crow work, whites supremicists made it if you are even a little black then you're black aka one drop rule. In Latin America it seems the general feeling is if you are even a little anything other than black then you are not black. Not saying everyone thinks this way but that has been my experience. My dad couldn't believe it when I told him people were telling me I'm not black. Not just Latin America. I saw a lady on YT who looks like me who said she went to Namibia and they told her she wasn't black. She was hurt because she was expecting this "return to the motherland experience."
I think the big problem with stereotyping of how "mixed" people look or even what kind of hair they have is that genetics can be tricky. So someone who has a parent of a different race may not look the stereotype while someone with an ancestor from 200 years ago does.

According to Dr. Henry Gates
58 percent of African Americans have at least 12.5 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one great-grandparent);
19.6 percent of African Americans have at least 25 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one grandparent);
1 percent of African Americans have at least 50 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one parent); and
5 percent of African Americans have at least 12.5 percent Native American ancestry (equivalent to one great-grandparent).

Originally Posted by Ayedee

But then, this is the problem for me. People do not accept the diversity of biracial people. My Father is white, my Mother black and I most definitely I.D as biracial, not black or white. Yet, because I have full lips, a button nose and my skin is a little more tanned than some other mixed people, people INSIST I am black, or that I shouldn't 'bother' I.D as mixed because I look black. As it bothers black people to be told they're mixed or must be mixed, it bothers me to be told I must ID as black because I 'look' black. I think I clearly look mixed. I don't feel black, and biracial people are not all very fair with golden-brown hair and green eyes. This is just my take on it, though, as a biracial person. It's made me insecure. I am what I am, and I am sick of people trying to shove me in a box I don't belong to.

Originally Posted by CurlyCarmenCurly

I hear you, Carmen. There is a lot of diversity within the human race but not everyone can see that or accept that.

Look at Halle, Barack, and Wentworth Miller...three biracial people who look very different from one another. I think some folks have a specific idea of what a "mixed" person looks like and it can be difficult to see the broader spectrum. I've also met people who think that mixed people should be brown-skinned and the Black genes should be more dominant, or that all mixed people should have loose curls.

My skin is VERY fair, lighter than some supposedly "pure" white people. My features are delicate. But my 4B mid-back length hair, juxtaposed with my coloring and features, confuses people.

I've encountered all kinds of people throughout my life. Some will look at me like I'm either crazy or lying about my heritage, some will ask "what are you?", and others will simply form their own assumptions. I also remember when I was in my teens, I went to see about getting a job at the local YMCA and the lady there asked me my race, then wrote down "white" because that is what she saw me as.

My ex's family had this wack notion that I didn't want to acknowledge my black roots and they would always beat me over the head with the ODR. I have no problem at all with being seen as a Black person, but I felt that they were trying to put me in a box. The conversations about my race were endless and it frustrated me. I think they had some anxiety about whether I thought I was better because I was so much lighter. Obviously not, because my ex was very dark and my family ranges from white/blonde/blue to deep chocolate with all hair textures. And my ex himself had some kind of self-hate going on because it made him feel good to mistreat a woman of mixed race (me)...it gave him a sense of power.

My husband's family seems to accept me for who I am to some extent, but I can tell that it puzzles my MIL to hear me defending Black folks and other people of color if racist comments are made in my presence. Sometimes people think that because my skin is white, I share their ignorant sentiments and it's OK to say those things. She often says that I look Polynesian or something and I'm like, "what the hell?" I think it's a way of trying to downplay my heritage or pretend that her only son is married to a more "acceptable" minority. I'm sure that if I were what people view as a more "authentic" Black woman, she would be more vocal in her disapproval. But I'm not sure she means to be malicious. She was born in 1936 in the Deep South, after all. She still lives in an all-white community.

But you are a gorgeous girl and I can relate to people wanting to push you into a box because this has been my experience as well. Just try to hold your head high because you have nothing to be ashamed of.

I understand, but what I mean is that I don't come from the ethnic groups mentioned (Cuban, Dominican, etc). I know that they are also diverse in phenotype because of racial admixture. That's pretty obvious with many Dominicans, too, with a variety of complexions and hair types.

I'm what I would consider to be a non-Hispanic mixed person, if that makes sense. Kind of like Lonette McKee (actress) or heck, even Derek Jeter and Wentworth Miller. Or Halle Berry and Barack Obama.Some people would think Lonette McKee is Hispanic, which isn't a race, but you get where I'm going. But she is just a woman from Detroit with a Swedish mother and a Black American father. I guess there is no difference to some folks but to me, there is...because I'm not part of any Latin culture and I didn't grow up in a Spanish-speaking home or anything. Neither of my parents or grandparents are[ Latino. That's what I mean. Culture is part of what defines a person, not just what they appear to be. To my knowledge, I have no Latin/Hispanic or Asian ancestry, but I frequently get mistaken for being part of those groups depending on who looks at me. I think it's my coloring and the shape of my eyes.

Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb

I understand the cognitive dissonance - the fact that you're assumed to be (and treated as) a member of a culture/s you aren't even associated with. Same thing happens to me. Frequently.

I'm not saying it's bad, that's just the way it is. And I don't think that biracial/multiracial people as a whole see ourselves as special or rare, but you're right...sometimes there are experiences that aren't always understood by people who aren't mixed. And I do agree that there are similarities at times between "mixed" people and other groups in terms of physical features. Halle Berry, for instance, reminds me of some women in Trinidad and Jamaica that we call "douglas" because she looks like a mix of Black/Indian. The Caribbean and West Indies has a lot of admixture too.

I see your point about the West Indies. My mom is West Indian and you can see that racial admixture by looking at her. But she looks mostly black (she's beautiful). My dad is a white balding Jew and he just looks German (he's German/Russian).

some experiences when I was younger where people would insist that I had to be Cuban or Colombian or "some type of Spanish" and that I was obviously lying about my background. Now that is somewhat upsetting, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being Latino/Hispanic, but it bothers me to hear ignorant comments like that. I guess it's the fact that an assumption is being made and the assumption is false. This one guy went around telling people about the "Colombian girl" (me) when it wasn't true. And I'm like a deer in headlights when people speak to me in rapid-fire Spanish, because I don't understand most of what is being said. The times I can understand is when racist comments are being made, unfortunately. Like the woman who referred to my hair as "feo y sucio" (ugly and dirty).

Seems that's one of those challenges that are so universal to those of us who look "racially ambiguous", right? People get anxious and want to be able to define other people and things in a way that's congruent with their own life experiences and world view. So others get defined within narrow parameters. You just "had" to be Colombian, possibly because it was uncomfortable for him to see you as anything else once he'd decided on that "fact".

Gawd. No excuse for that crap comment about your hair. People can be real s*** heads sometimes

I see myself as both black AND mixed, although my skin is white. But I respect everyone's right to identify as they see fit.

Thanks for sharing your experiences [/QUOT

No, thank YOU for being so understanding. Not to be all "woe is me", but it hasn't been easy at all. It is very difficult to feel comfortable in one's own skin when the world isn't very accepting, know what I mean?

I grew up being told that I had "n*gger" hair, that my skin was too white, being bullied by people of different races, having people question who my parents were and why I looked this way, being abused...and it was tough.

And it wasn't like I grew up in some backwoods little town in the middle of nowhere. I grew up in a huge city with people of ALL races and cultures. So it's crazy to me that people would care so much about that stuff where I live. I was exposed to a lot of diversity from an early age. I ate Indian food, Ethiopian cuisine, I had family that lived all over the world, my mom once lived with a dude from Ghana and we would attend parties where all races/colors were welcome...I guess I took it all for granted and hoped that people would just accept me for who I was, warts and all.

When I realized that people did indeed see color and they would treat me according to whatever their prejudices were, it hurt.

See but I think the experience of being "mixed" is especially unique and "issue-laden" for those of us who were born into and brought up participating in two or three distinct cultures.

Society will expect such people to adopt an identity affiliated w/a single culture - they will try and fit you neatly into a particular box. And if you come from a bi or multi-cultural family but look racially ambiguous, this kind of thing happens: I had an Italian boyfriend as a teenager and we were madly in love. His mother opened her house to me and we got along just fine. Until. This one day his mother came to my house and met my (Afro-Caribbean) mother for the first time and she got all scared.

Suddenly she was playing match-maker, trying to find her son a new girlfriend. She was quite open about it. Before too long he broke up w/me. We were getting along great but he told me he'd fallen out of love, but I knew that wasn't true because as he said it, he was absolutely sobbing like someone had just killed his favorite pet. If both my parents had looked "mixed" or one was white and one was mixed (as she seemingly expected), that lady might not have been such a thorn in my ass. So I do think it matters what kind of "mixed" you are. Nor is everybody mixed. But yeah, many of us are.

Originally Posted by Korkscrew

^ This. I think that most people can point to some admixture (no matter how small) in their family tree. But I'm with Korkscrew, in that sometimes there are certain situations that a biracial/multiracial or racially ambiguous person experiences that most other people don't.

My mother is Jamaican but her father was white, so her identity has also been questioned. I dated an African American guy in high school and college and believe me, it was rough. I loved him but we had a lot of problems in the relationship. My mother didn't approve of him because he later turned out to be an abusive drug addict (which is a valid reason to not like somebody) and she didn't like how he treated me. She is also an old-school Caribbean mom, so she wanted me to find a nice Jamaican boy. The issue was more about culture than color. She wouldn't have minded me dating an American boy as long as he was kind, respectful, and smart.

My ex's family and friends made things VERY hard on me. His mother was kind of like the mother of Korkscrew's ex, but worse. She made it clear that she didn't like me and didn't want me to be with her son. There were lots of nasty comments about my light skin and a very hateful attitude in general. One of his aunts was even rude to my mother for no reason. The only difference is that they were dark-skinned AAs, while I was a very light-skinned girl who looked mostly white, so maybe the tension was caused by my color. I'm really not sure. But it was so confusing and hurtful. When I got pregnant once, she told him that the baby probably wasn't his, just because she hated me so much. She would also try to fix him up with girls behind my back. His grandmother even "weave-checked" me once, no lie. It was crazy. I would walk into the room, say hello to his female relatives, and I would receive evil stares and silence. Maybe I would get a cold greeting if I was lucky, or some b*tchy comment about my appearance. You could have cut the tension with a knife.

His father even went so far as to insinuate that I didn't want to be black and I thought I was better than them. It was upsetting, but hardly surprising because I've been through it before. We couldn't go anywhere without being stared at by people of all races. It made me feel hurt and angry because we were simply two people who cared about one another and I was mixed, not white. I might have looked white but I wasn't. Some people would openly harass us in public, especially me. I had women confronting me angrily because they thought I was a white girl or white Latina taking something away from them. And other people assumed that I was white trash involved with a Black guy...they had no idea that I was partly black myself. Some people have tried to give me a hard time because my husband is white, but to a lesser extent. I think it's because they see mixed women mostly dating/marrying Black men and it looks "uppity" to be involved with a white guy. I fell in love with my husband because he treated me like gold and yes, I will admit that it's nice to not be attacked anymore when I walk in public with him. Our skin matches pretty closely and there is none of that visual contrast that causes people to react. Some white women have made comments and glared at me but they're not as confrontational about it. Maybe if I were darker, people would be mad about it. I'm not sure.

Anyway, I know this is long-winded but this was just one of the experiences I've had as a racially ambiguous woman when it comes to relationships and dating. There have been more, but I won't bore y'all with the details.

My current in-laws have only met my mother and stepfather once. Oddly enough, they are white but much more accepting of me being mixed and looking the way I do. My stepfather is very dark-skinned and visibly black, but they were nice to him. They do have their prejudices but it isn't the spiteful, mean prejudice that I experienced from my ex's family. They're willing to learn about other people and they try to keep an open mind about stuff. They ask questions and they listen. That's what makes the difference.

ohh, some of these posts just made my day. Is it horrible that reading other peoples' rants and bad experiences makes me feel a connection with them?

I don't consider asking someone if they are mixed to be offensive. However, I have been asked (by total strangers!) if I am Jewish. Talk about some serious awkwardness.

1. Judaism is a religion, not a race. I have known Jews from many different countries who looked nothing like each other.

2. I'm pretty sure the reason they asked me is because not only do I have dark wurly hair, I also have a huge nose.

now, THAT is some offensive shhh. And it's happened on more than one occasion.

Originally Posted by nomilknogluten

It's like asking a redheaded Buddhist that because they're buddhist, they're most definitely Chinese. No doubt about it.

I am on my Mothers side, Half white European (Spanish & Polish) and half African. My Dad is Lebanese/Syrian/ and dun dun dun ISRAELI. Yeah, most of the Jews I know in America and other places don't look anything like us here in the Middleast. It honestly kind of annoys me when I say my heritage to a religious Jew, and they believe they relate to me because I'm from Israel or are Hebrew (yeah you're blonde pale and blue eyed, sorry your not Semitic). Being a religion does not make you a race, and does not make you know the culture. Please do not believe you relate to me because you practice the religion of Israel. Man I sound kind of mean :/ I mean absolutely no offense to religious Jews, just the ones that believe they are ethnically Jewish.

And what's absolutely hilarious is that many people in Israel don't actually look Semitic either.

If someone looks Jew, they most likely look Middleastern or Mediterranean. And more then likley, they're probably not from Israel.

I get the where are you from to. I think I have a slight accent to, so that probably helps people in asking me. I usually get -

Italian/Greek/Spanish/Russian/and Jewish lol. I usually get a 'are you part African?' (even though I don't really look it, at all) because of my 3c hair. I also got a lot of you look Asian comments. Which is just weird.

I once got a 'you look like Lisa Bonnet' (who is African/Jewish? I can actually see her mom being from Israel) from a gay guy at a walmart counter. Kind of threw me off, because I don't think I look anything like her - but I was flattered ( I think she's pretty )

Originally Posted by KF<3

Omigosh, just a comment on your profile pic: What anime is that from? I read the manga but i can't remember the name. It starts with a K right?

I am Haitian too. Your friend has a good point. I love my Haitian, Dominican friends and everyone else.

Originally Posted by rmc2

Haiti represent whoot woot! Lol. Sak pase?!

Yea im not even going to lie i had a hard time excepting their ways especially towards us. But this guy im talking about makes up for all of the ignorance lol. He taught me a good lesson

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Originally Posted by dee-nature

Helloooo neighbors! Haha

By the way I'm glad you guys have people that show you contrary...it's no lie that Dominicans belittle Haitians whenever possible. I can't explain if it's historical (disdain coming from when D.R was ruled by Haiti) or racial (because we're sooo white you know, lol) or what but...it's a problem and a damned shame.

I can't wait until I go back to D.R (Dec 2013) and rock my natural! I'm still transitioning but I pray I'll be able to get a good, big ol' afro if I disrupt my pattern...my Dominican family might just put me on the next boat straight to Africa but I'll risk it to make my statement! Lol

Originally Posted by RizosMio

Sak pase!
Wow, i never knew there were so many Haitians on this site!
No jk, i am haitian too, but in 7th grade, my mother told me about my ethnicity for a project. Apparently, my great grandfather was Cuban on my Grandfather's side and on my maternal grandmother's side, she's mixed with something, i don't remember exactly. On my fathers side, my grandfather is also mixed but he has Alzheimer's. So he doesn't remember. By the end of the year, when the project is due, 3 people come up to me and say, "But i thought you were Asian." That really shocked me. I mean, i don't think i have the physical attributes of Asians. Why would they say so?
Oh well.

And in 6th grade, i remember this girl asked me, is your hair naturally curly?

What is that supposed to mean?

I know now but seriously?

I know what you mean by Dominicans belittling Haitians. I mean many Dominicans have Haitian backgrounds, i mean you share an island. But they don't acknowledge that.

Yea im not even going to lie i had a hard time excepting their ways especially towards us. But this guy im talking about makes up for all of the ignorance lol. He taught me a good lesson

Sent from my MB612 using CurlTalk App

Originally Posted by dee-nature

Helloooo neighbors! Haha

By the way I'm glad you guys have people that show you contrary...it's no lie that Dominicans belittle Haitians whenever possible. I can't explain if it's historical (disdain coming from when D.R was ruled by Haiti) or racial (because we're sooo white you know, lol) or what but...it's a problem and a damned shame.

I can't wait until I go back to D.R (Dec 2013) and rock my natural! I'm still transitioning but I pray I'll be able to get a good, big ol' afro if I disrupt my pattern...my Dominican family might just put me on the next boat straight to Africa but I'll risk it to make my statement! Lol

Originally Posted by RizosMio

Sak pase!
Wow, i never knew there were so many Haitians on this site!
No jk, i am haitian too, but in 7th grade, my mother told me about my ethnicity for a project. Apparently, my great grandfather was Cuban on my Grandfather's side and on my maternal grandmother's side, she's mixed with something, i don't remember exactly. On my fathers side, my grandfather is also mixed but he has Alzheimer's. So he doesn't remember. By the end of the year, when the project is due, 3 people come up to me and say, "But i thought you were Asian." That really shocked me. I mean, i don't think i have the physical attributes of Asians. Why would they say so?
Oh well.

And in 6th grade, i remember this girl asked me, is your hair naturally curly?

What is that supposed to mean?

I know now but seriously?

I know what you mean by Dominicans belittling Haitians. I mean many Dominicans have Haitian backgrounds, i mean you share an island. But they don't acknowledge that.

Originally Posted by CurlzGurl99

nap boule!
First of all you are adorable and so smart. I agree about sharing the island when it was Hispanora. And like you i have gotten the Asian question i just look @ them puzzled (i am dark skin, kinky hair)and say no. Smh some people have never even heard of haiti until the earthquake! Woow

Ok. This is a little off topic. But where can I buy one of these DNA tests you speak of. I'd love to learn my ancestry. Me and my sister were both adopted and my mother doesn't know our real parents. She just knows our father wasn't black.

Ok. This is a little off topic. But where can I buy one of these DNA tests you speak of. I'd love to learn my ancestry. Me and my sister were both adopted and my mother doesn't know our real parents. She just knows our father wasn't black.

Originally Posted by applesandafros

I'd like to know more about my ancestry, too. I've heard that most of the tests are expensive, though. I think it would be cool to be able to research your entire history. I envy people who know their entire family tree. Like they can go back several generations and tell you all about it.

I wonder if there is a way you could find out more about your birth parents...surely there must be a way?

Ok. This is a little off topic. But where can I buy one of these DNA tests you speak of. I'd love to learn my ancestry. Me and my sister were both adopted and my mother doesn't know our real parents. She just knows our father wasn't black.

Originally Posted by applesandafros

I used 23andMe. It's only $99 now, I paid a whoooole lot more for it a year or two ago. They have a "Relative Finder" where they list people who could be related to you. I have a ton of 3rd to 6th cousins on there, lol! You can message them and become friends even. It'll show you how they've came to this conclusion by how many DNA segments you have in common...it's very interesting.

Ok. This is a little off topic. But where can I buy one of these DNA tests you speak of. I'd love to learn my ancestry. Me and my sister were both adopted and my mother doesn't know our real parents. She just knows our father wasn't black.

Originally Posted by applesandafros

I'd like to know more about my ancestry, too. I've heard that most of the tests are expensive, though. I think it would be cool to be able to research your entire history. I envy people who know their entire family tree. Like they can go back several generations and tell you all about it.

I wonder if there is a way you could find out more about your birth parents...surely there must be a way?

Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb

My parents apparently abandoned me and my sister when I was 1 and she was 3 and we were put into foster care because no one had any idea of where our parents were or next to kin. I kind of don't wonder anymore about my birth parents. I would like to know about my ethnic background though. I have always been curious about that.

Ok. This is a little off topic. But where can I buy one of these DNA tests you speak of. I'd love to learn my ancestry. Me and my sister were both adopted and my mother doesn't know our real parents. She just knows our father wasn't black.

Originally Posted by applesandafros

I used 23andMe. It's only $99 now, I paid a whoooole lot more for it a year or two ago. They have a "Relative Finder" where they list people who could be related to you. I have a ton of 3rd to 6th cousins on there, lol! You can message them and become friends even. It'll show you how they've came to this conclusion by how many DNA segments you have in common...it's very interesting.

@dee-nature thats awesome! your like a natural hair advocate in haitia *high 5*. i take my hat off to you... lol if i had one. how is it like in hatia???
I only speak 2 languages somali and english! wish i could speak spanish it sounds so flowy.

No, thank YOU for being so understanding. Not to be all "woe is me", but it hasn't been easy at all. It is very difficult to feel comfortable in one's own skin when the world isn't very accepting, know what I mean?

Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb

It doesn't at all sound to me like you're pitying yourself – just honestly telling your story I think after a while, general conformity is just not a viable option (for those of us who are viewed as chronically “other”). I agree w/your sentiment: that being “different” can be discomforting at times. (And one thing I've also learned is that difference can be a wonderful blessing; a strength! I actually love being biracial, despite any issues. I don't think I have any more issues than mono-racial ppl, actually.)

I grew up being told that I had "n*gger" hair, that my skin was too white, being bullied by people of different races, having people question who my parents were and why I looked this way, being abused...and it was tough.

That hair comment is infuriating. I'm so sorry. I can relate to the verbal harassment and violence. I was bullied by certain kids (always black) when I was a kid and I'm sure that's only because they were being mistreated by racist ppl who looked like me. I have mostly white features, green eyes and so on. Was pale until adulthood, at which point I moved from one sunny city after another to live. It was subconscious, but I did that to get darker. Since I stopped straightening my hair and have a tan, I get a lot of “what are you” inquiries. I usually like it because I get to talk to ppl from all sorts of different cultures.

And it wasn't like I grew up in some backwoods little town in the middle of nowhere. I grew up in a huge city with people of ALL races and cultures. So it's crazy to me that people would care so much about that stuff where I live. I was exposed to a lot of diversity from an early age. I ate Indian food, Ethiopian cuisine, I had family that lived all over the world, my mom once lived with a dude from Ghana and we would attend parties where all races/colors were welcome...I guess I took it all for granted and hoped that people would just accept me for who I was, warts and all.

I've also found that sprawling metropolises have their fair share of racism lol. And I just think people tend to get anxious when they don't know a person's racial background. It happens so often that my conclusion is they usually want to know how I will act around them, and also how they can act (and what they can get away with saying) around me.

When I realized that people did indeed see color and they would treat me according to whatever their prejudices were, it hurt.

It does remind me of that thing I went through w/my ex-bf's mother panicking and trying to sabotage our r-ship after finding out I'm part-black.
You are not alone. I'll reply to your other post in a shortly

Sorry you had such a rough time w/that abusive guy. Do you think it's possible he'd have used whatever he could (race or whatever else), as a weapon to belittle you? Ha – my mom is old-school Caribbean too and wanted me to find someone brainy and she didn't say it out loud, but I knew she wanted him to be either biracial (b/w) or white.

Sounds like his family was basically just very unhappy and maybe they also assumed you had it easier because of the way you look and it seemed unfair to them? Either way, that's a whole lot of disrespect and grandma snatched up a fist of your hair huh? Ouch. Ridiculous.

… I've mostly dated Jews. Besides being Jewish, I was exposed to Jews most and had the most in common with them. Have never sensed any racism any parents (I'm biased, but I really do think many Ashkenazi Jews are more accepting than other whites tend to be). But I married someone else biracial, albeit Spanish and Asian It hasn't been w/out drama though (have heard some pretty racist things from his family and their friends at times, as if I wasn't even sitting in the room).

Your life sounds really interesting! It's great that you in-laws have taken a genuine interest in you and your life. Excuse my cynicism, but I wonder if they're more comfortable because you mostly look white. You think they'd treat you differently if you were darker, w/more African features? I mean it's great that they're nice to your stepfather, but, well he's not dating their kid. I've found that more and more whites these days seem OK w/someone biracial joining their families - like the person is just exotic enough so they can pat themselves on the back about how liberal and accepting they are. And maybe some even look forward to gaining some "new millennium" “exotic” looking kids). BUT … there's a line, it seems. “Too black” and it's no way Jose. .. So that's why I ask.