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Have you ever been 100% focused on what a client or potential client is saying, and 100% sure that what you’re being told isn’t useful, helpful or even remotely true?

Great problem solvers will tell you that listening is one of the most important things you can do to get to the heart of a challenge and start unearthing solutions and ideas.

But what if what you’re hearing isn’t what will help you solve?

How many meetings have you sat through trying to figure out what to put on a cranial post-it note and stick to the walls of your brain, and what to release into a sea of red herrings and irrelevant ideas that emerge from unfocused ramblings?

Listening closely is important. Listening actively is imperative. Sharpening your questions, dialing up your radar, relying on intuition, then making sure you have a mutual understanding of what you’re hearing, to get to a place where you have what you need to unearth a brilliant solution.

When you prepare for meetings with prospective clients, are you getting ready to tell them what they should do before you’re sure of what they really need? Maybe you should reconsider your approach.

“I don’t spend much time prepping for meetings,” says Andy Crestodina, founder of Orbit Media Studios, a web design company in Chicago. “I prefer to listen and ask questions. There are people who say ‘Come pitch to us and bring a presentation. You’ll have 40 minutes.’ I don’t want to do a presentation, I want to have a conversation. The internet is exactly the same for everyone. How Google works, the psychology of social sharing, content management systems; these are common to every business. But everyone’s needs are totally different. The empathy part is so important. You can’t be ready to feel someone’s pain; you just need to go listen for what’s important to them.”

What’s important is crucial, bit it’s different from person to person, and maybe nowhere is that more true than in the world of sales. One of the best sales people I know, who helped create a company and take it public, turned into a better sales person when listening became an active vs a passive pursuit.

“There were periods when I was a terrible listener. I just regurgitated everything. When people said ‘No,’ which always happened, they all had valid reasons; I learned a lot about how hard it was for people to change, how many things I wasn’t incorporating into the sales pitch that I needed. You need to slow down, take in, listen, process. It made me more believable. Because when you listen, you not only address what people say, you can be more compassionate. Legitimize people’s problems.”

His ability to fully understand the problem enabled him to sully solve it with the product he was selling. He continued:

“Beware of the guy who has an answer to everything.”

This is especially true when it you’re a person who needs to help others solve problems.

Bobby Collins is the Sailing School Director of the Chicago Yacht Club. He coaches seven high school sailing teams. You can imagine the amount of “input” he gets from the parents of children who want to see their kids excel in his program.

“I spend most of the day listening. Parents talk about issues but the underlying problem is something they’re not saying; so you have to listen and figure out the issue. I let them talk, try not to give an opinion.”

That’s one way to solve a problem: Don’t try to solve it until you’re sure you know what it really is.

Sara Silver has owned software company Silverware since 1988 and talked about the importance of the needs analysis.

“The biggest part of the project is determining what a client really needs, not just what they’re asking for. A lot of people have no idea what their software is doing for them; they just think things happen and don’t understand that you have to set it up to do that stuff! So we have to be extremely clear on if we have to modify the software and what we have to do to make sure it fits their needs.”

Listening is great because it supplies information, but active listening is essential because it provides context. And that’s where you really start to solve.

As a Partner and Managing Director of Boston Consulting Group, Nneka Rimmer has helped many C-Suite executives solve high level problems, and her experience has led her to embrace the importance of understanding what’s different about each challenge.

“One of the things we do is spend a lot of time talking to the client about what’s unique about their context. Because even if we’ve seen it before, we haven’t seen it in their context. I need to understand what it is about the solution we’re going to craft together that will make it exceed within their context, and be very careful about listening to the contextual symptoms.”

One more important voice to address the issue from outside the world of business: Ramaa Krishnan, healer and teacher of the principles of eastern spirituality. While the problems she helps people solve are very different than those of Nneka or Sara, the way she approaches them are very familiar. With a spiritual twist.

“Listening is what reveals to me what’s going on. Your external reality is a product of what you are thinking. So I need to know what your perception of that reality is. It is not the truth but it is how you see it. I don’t really need to know the real story; I’m most interested in knowing what you’re most afraid of. This is where we can really start working together.”

What a great thought. Find out what the people you’re trying to help are most afraid of. A little like asking, “What keeps you up at night?” with additional context.

What are you most afraid of? How about your clients?

You know how to get to the answers, right?

Listen up.

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