Dear Single Sister Who Loves Jesus and Is Waiting for “The One”

I’d like to take the time to write this letter to you addressing a topic that seems to be very prominent in your life lately: singleness. More specifically, your singleness. I don’t intend to downplay or minimize this season of life that you are in, and that’s just what it is. A season. No I can’t promise you that it will be short, nor can I tell you how long it will last, but allow me this chance to share some amazing truths that will hopefully encourage you.

First, I know it’s hard. It’s hard to wait, hard to be patient and hard to be content. I understand. Your parents want grandchildren, your sister wants to be an aunt, your grandparents always ask for an update on your relationship status and it’s getting to the point where it seems like you can’t go on Facebook or sit in church without hearing or seeing another engagement announcement. These people may mean well, but even I can see how those innocent comments tug on your heart strings. We both know the late nights where loneliness sits like a heavy fog over you and tears fall from your eyes as a result of the overwhelming sadness you feel inside. You start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you, or what you’re not doing right. You ask God why only to receive silence as an answer. You begin to doubt His goodness and His love. You slowly start to believe that He has somehow forgotten you. You start to believe that you are not good enough. Society has told you that you need a relationship in order to make you complete. As if not having that “special someone” in your life somehow makes you less whole as a person. My dear sister, this just simply isn’t true. It is your relationship with Christ that makes you whole. No relationship with any man on this earth (no matter how godly!) could ever complete you. Only your Savior can do that. Your identity is found solely in Him and what He has done for you. Why would you ever want to replace it with something that’s temporary, doesn’t satisfy and causes such deep insecurity in you? Your worth is not based on what your family, friends or society has to say. Your worth is based on God’s Word.

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Let’s go back to talking about your emotions. Ah yes, emotions. Those “lovely” feelings we deal with as females. We naturally have the tendency to be more emotional than men. That is how God made us. Plain and simple. This season of singleness can prompt a variety of emotions in you, some good and some bad. Regardless of the circumstances, I pray that you would seek to be a woman that lives by the truth God’s Word reveals rather than by how she feels. Two truths you must remember: God cares and God is in control. Yes, God cares about you and every area of your life, even those things that seem trivial to us finite beings let alone thinking an infinite God would concern Himself with such matters. Do not be afraid to go before God and throw all your emotions down at His feet. He sees your tears, He hears your cries and His heart breaks with yours.

Now, on to truth #2, God is in control. This one can probably at times be harder to believe than the first. As the years of singleness go by, we begin to question God’s control in this area of our lives. We start to think that maybe things would be better if we took them into our own hands. Worse yet, sometimes we actually act upon that thought. We take control of our own lives and then act all confused when things don’t go our way and they end up a mess. God’s way is the best way. ALWAYS. Let me explain it to you in another way. You are saved by grace through faith. You trust God with your salvation. So, if you trust God with something as significant as your eternity, why then do you not trust Him with your relationships? Do you honestly believe that the God who provided the gift of salvation could not also provide you with a husband if He so chooses? I know you don’t see it this way, but when you question God in this area of your life, really you question His sovereignty. Do you really think the God that created the universe, controls the rising and the setting of the sun, and gave you the very breath of life would not be capable of having control in your love life? There is no freedom quite as sweet as surrender. I pray that you would find this freedom. Surrender this area of your life to Him. Let Him have control and lay all of your desires down at His feet. He will know what to do. I promise.

Finally, dear sister, let me end with this warning: Please don’t settle. I know it’s an option, and an easy one at that, but please don’t do it. You are worth waiting for and you are worth being pursued. Be willing to wait for the man who has Christ as his first love and is capable of leading you in a relationship. As His daughter, your Heavenly Father knows what you need in a spouse even more so than you do. You can trust Him. Waiting with God is never in vain. While we are waiting, He is always working. Remember that you are already infinitely and intimately loved by the One who created you and I pray that you would know that to be more than enough.

I am the author of Betrayed by God? Making Sense of Your Expectations (Beacon Hill Press) and over 500 articles and blogs which have been published in various print and online formats. I am a former writer and editor for Focus on the Family and was a regular blogger for Blueprint for Life, an organization which helps people live out their purpose in light of eternity.

My mission is to help people with everyday life through biblical truths. So, I mainly write and speak on faith, relationships, and life challenges. I am passionate about sharing what Christ has taught me with others. I believe the most powerful lessons we have to offer are those we have experienced ourselves.