This…Thing

by rheeb

I am in this weird state where I feel my heart in my throat and I’m smiling with tears in my eyes. And it’s a profuse smile seeped in pain. I don’t know how I got here, but I am here, completely falling for Butch Pam. And I am at a loss, because I have no clue what to do from this point forward. I am such a chicken, you know, because I really just need to say that she has pretty eyes, and then make my attraction to her known. But what if she doesn’t like me? What if she’s not gay? What if she thinks I’m creepy? What if she has no reaction ever? I mean, what if, you know? And of course there’s the age difference. I don’t know. But I can’t seem to get this off my mind, and I have never been in this situation before, so, for me, it’s like being on another planet. I’m at a loss.