Fred Caruso, the writer and producer of the film The Big Gay Musical, has died in an apparent suicide. He was 41.

Mr. Caruso made his decision a very public one by posting a lengthy and candid suicide note on Facebook. It said, in part, “Those of you that know me well, know that I have been dealing with ending things for a while. LIKE many years. For my most of my life I have been absolutely miserable—exact for when I was creating. I have nothing left in me to create. I truly don’t think I have any idea what love or happiness is.”

His friend, Rick Crom, confirmed Caruso’s death on Facebook, according to Variety. “Fred M. Caruso has left us by his own choice,” Crom wrote. “As an artist Fred was a tortured soul and ultimately that pain took him from us.”

The Big Gay Musical was released in 2009. The plot concerned to gay actors—one openly gay and one closeted—and their life struggles. The film features a series of musical numbers.

Mr. Caruso’s credit also included the Off-Broadway musical comedy revue, Newsical. Which was produced in 2004 and written by Crom. It was revived in 2009, when it received two Drama Desk nominations. He also produced the Off-Broadway I Love You, Because, which ran five months in 2006, and wrote and directed the 2011 film Go Go Crazy.

In lieu of a memorial, Caruso requested donations to the Trevor Project, a non-profit suicide hotline for LGBT youth.