Originally Posted by revoltingMaia - Oh man, you are such an understanding, supportive partner. On top of the holiday stress, there's no way I could show so much compassion.

Well, but...what else can I do? I love him. Would you (collective you, not You you) give up on the one you love because of addictions? I dunno...it hasn't gotten to the point of needing to save myself first, or my boy.

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Originally Posted by wombatclayMaia- TB can appear as spots on the lung. I'm sure they'll test (a tine test is easy peasy) but if he KNOWS he had/has TB then that might be the cause for the spots/shadows. burning hand- lol ;) You can trace the hand then burn along the traced line or use watercolor paint to make a handprint then burn the whole printed area. We have a woodburning gizmo (it was 20 dollars or so at the craft store and it has a bunch of different attachments for different things like soldering). Neat book- The Path of the Christian Witch. Basically the author discusses how she combines Roman Catholic and Wiccan beliefs. I haven't read it, but the review in SageWoman was a thumbs up. (speaking of, SageWoman may not survive the closing of Borders Bookstore. :( Check out their website for info... I'll miss them if they go. First Mothering, now SageWoman. The magazines that shaped my early parenting and early pagan path... I feel old!) crafts- awwww thanks! I'm such a jumbled mess in real life, it's nice to think I've got my act together online. Or at least, kind of together! lol religion- my mom asked that we "return" to the Roman Catholic church as a christmas gift to her. Sigh. I "passed the bean dip" every time it came up, but it made me feel like a heel. And honestly it annoyed me that she was making such an emotional play. I wasn't really surprised, and she was sincere, but it was still hurtful/annoying. Sigh. I wish she could accept our life with at least the same degree of manners as we accept hers. And I wish we lived someplace where there was a more active pagan community or a more family friendly UU community.

He is going to ask his dr about a TB test next time he goes. Good thought, that.

Saw your post on FB about that book and I want to check it out. Will have to take a look when I get home from M's and see, first, if they have it at the library. Then check half.com

Your mom...sheesh, huh? Did you tell her what you said here, about the manners? I mean, really! How often can you pass bean dip, after all. Plus, how can you come back to the church when you ain't feelin' the love, kwim? That would be so fake! She'd rather you do that, really?

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Originally Posted by WolfcatWhen did Barbie start hooking? That chica has some serious corner-clothes going on...

Yikes!

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Originally Posted by FeralFoxI'm not doing very well right now, so I might not be around for a little while. My cards went out today. Happy new year to all of you!

Originally Posted by wombatclayfeelings- feeling kind of wonky. I'm not sure if it's the flu, being generally worn down, the approaching new year, or what but I feel off kilter. Sort of like there is something I need to do, but I'm not sure what it is. I'm a bit worried that I'm going to "just do something" and it'll be the wrong thing. Very odd feeling. Almost paralyzed because I don't want to do the wrong thing, while at the same time really wanting to do /something/. I just have to figure out what that something is! LOL

You know-- me, too. I hope it's only because of the traveling. Lots of traveling makes me feel unsettled.

I am going to M's tomorrow! I have to be up at 3:30am to be on the road at 4:00 My plane leaves at 8am, but it's a 2 hour drive to the airport, and you know you have to be there ahead, a bit, for the dang security. But YAY!!!

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I am going to M's tomorrow! I have to be up at 3:30am to be on the road at 4:00 My plane leaves at 8am, but it's a 2 hour drive to the airport, and you know you have to be there ahead, a bit, for the dang security. But YAY!!!

Yay! Bring lots of layers... it has gotten really cold here! Hope you have a great time!

Mama, Artist, Mary Kay Consultant

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Originally Posted by DaughterOfKaliYay! Bring lots of layers... it has gotten really cold here! Hope you have a great time!

Yeah, I know! Yikes. M said today got as high as 28*. Ye Gods, that's about as cold as it gets here, in the daytime. It doesn't much go below 19* or so, at night. Rarely, I have seen like 12*, but that is rare.

I do NOT know how I'm going to re-orient myself to living in the northeast!

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Layers! Northern living is all about layers. LOL Well, till you reach the really "north-north" I suppose... when I was visiting my brother in AK (in January) people had super huge coats but seemed to mostly just keep their houses/cars/gathering spots hot and just moved quickly from one to the other without bundling up or layering much indoors. But for New England? Layers!

Have fun taking those layers off! ;)

FeralFox- feel better soon!

religion/my mom- yes. She would MUCH rather have us attending the RC church despite a complete lack of belief in or desire for that faith over attending any other religious group out of actual belief/devotion. Although she doesn't think all non-Catholics will be damned, she does believe that people who leave the Catholic church will be. Her analogy in the past was that of a race... RC is the gold medal, other major Christian or major world religions are the silver medal, and then other faiths come in at the bronze level (or as also rans). A person can be happy where they are, or move "up" the ladder (her hope for all in point of fact), but the person who has the gold and lets it go? That person is in trouble. She also believes that she is at fault for my "lack of faith"... that she will be penalized by G*d because she didn't raise me correctly. She can't brag to her coffee club friends about baptisms and first communions and whatnot. So yes... she just wants us in the seats, saying the words. I understand her fears and needs, and have tried all sorts of ways to discuss these subjects over the years but it's never sunk in for more than a few days. :(

job- I've been job hunting and so far nada. I'm counting on 2012 as being a year of opportunity and prosperity.

health- I need to get a pp overhaul. I think my PPD is slowly rearing it's head. I hope not, but I also know that boot-strappping doesn't work and with 4 kiddos I can't afford to wait too long. So all you FE and EO and herbal and tapping goddesses... ideas? General anxiety, sense of impending dread, metallic taste in the mouth, loss of satisfaction in eating (I get hungry, I eat, I'm no longer hungry but I'm not "satisfied" either), zero libido, and a very very VERY short emotional fuse (not just in terms of yelling at kiddos, but also in terms of bursting into tears at the drop of a hat sort of stuff). I've resisted conventional medication for PPD in the past but have a limited budget and limited time (I need things that will work fast, not ramp up over months).

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To answer the question before I run back out, it's emotional/mental health stuff. I'm not dealing well with this pregnancy. I'm ok, we're ok, but I just don't feel like I have anything positive to say, and I don't want to burden you guys with my downer attitude. I'm still around, kinda, just have nothing to say.

Brrrr...it's finally gotten cold in Upstate NY...and the rest of the Northeast... Maia, I'm SURE you and M will find ways to warm up!! I, for one, will be wearing my layered sweat outfit to bed. heehee.

To both Feral and wombatClay: i wish I could make that gigantic for both of you...

Wolfcat: Your comment about Barbie hooking was hilarious...and true.

It's been a week of continual visiting which has been fun and exhausting. Tomorrow Nick and I are taking the day to ourselves which will be a nice reprieve. We're actually having breakfast OUT and then I think I am going to go on a LONG solitary walk. I don't normally get this much social interaction and i'm a little bit on overload. Of course I love seeing everyone but I've had my fill.

Clay, I have not had experience with ppd, but Nat Mur is the cell salt for grief and calc phos for exhaustion. Star of Bethleham or good old Rescue Remedy for general trauma. Are you getting your iron, your vitamin D? Hugs, you! I totally understand resisting doing the medications, but you have SO much on your plate - maybe you need to give yourself permission to try them. You can always wean off them, do the lowest possible dose. Wishing you well in the job search!

Yay, Valerie! I came on for the `Word of the Year for 2012 conversation! I love this exercise. `Own' is a great word!

My word for 2011 was `Pride' - it was a good choice. My word for 2010 was `Light'. I still have special feelings when I consider both of those words, haven't finished with either of them.

I am going to meditate on it for a couple of days and choose finally on New Year's Day. Right now, I'm leaning towards something along the lines of "Wholeness" or "Integration" but neither of them seem quite right. Maybe "Mindfullness" I want to be in the moment, right now, with the people I love, doing what I am meant to be doing, not living halfheartedly or in the past or future. I don't want to be in the future remembering this time and feeling that I wasted it or missed out somehow.

Christmas is finally over! I'm so glad its done. Life can go back to more normal and we can get into a routine. Not to mention we can ignore my toxic MIL for awhile now, too. She actually told my DH that he was going to "ruin" my BIL's visit from Seattle because he was going to be around too much. Way to be very clear on who your favorite child is and set DH in a funk for all of Christmas/his brother's visit. But its over and we are seeing her and we are going to enjoy the kiddos, their gifts and each other for the next couple days before DH has to go back to work and kindergarten picks back up for DD.

Feral-I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. I know we barely know each other, but I can understand not doing well emotionally with a pregnancy, BTDT.

Maia-What a roller coaster!! Holy monkeys...Hopefully this all gets straightened out now that you are up there! Enjoy your visit and safe travels to you!!

Clay-Oh jeez do I get PPD. It sucks. Honestly, I never really found anything that worked well for me aside from a drug. I was really unwell though and also on a limited budget. Rescue Remedy is supposed to be great. I got this stuff called Mama Calm as a gift. Its by Natural Calm and is basically a magnesium supplement with some other vitamins. From my understanding, its supposed to work both immediately to relax you and build up long term so you stay calm. It didn't do much for me, but like I said, I was pretty far gone and needed a lot more than a drink to pull me back in.

Sorry about your mom. That's just painful to have to put up with. Does she talk like that in front of your kids?

Best of luck job hunting!!!

Wolfcat-My DD got her first ever Barbie this Christmas. Its Paleontologist Barbie. I thought that might mean that she actually has a brain until I saw that the fossils she "digs up" are purple and sparkly! Her clothes do actually cover her body, its a teeshirt and cargo shorts!! MIL got some additional Barbie clothes for DD's stocking though and WOW...yeah street corner...

Aubergine/Valerie-I love the word idea! I've never stuck with resolutions. It was always stuff like "I'm gonna lose fifteen pounds and eat better" which never happened. I think I will spend some time considering and meditating and choose a word. I might even get DH to do it, too.

Oh, I'm so excited for this evening! My parents are taking the older two for a sleep over tonight. So DH and I get another night to (mostly) ourselves! Two nights in one month, I can't believe it! And in another year once DS2 is weaned we may actually have a night alone. Wow. Just, wow.

Anyone know of any good books? I'm in desperate need of some new good fiction.

I'm coming back for more word of the year chatter!!! My words last year were Believe and Balance.

Hugs to all who are in need! I'll be back after changing a pooperific diaper!

And you who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.

Neat book- The Path of the Christian Witch. Basically the author discusses how she combines Roman Catholic and Wiccan beliefs. I haven't read it, but the review in SageWoman was a thumbs up. (speaking of, SageWoman may not survive the closing of Borders Bookstore. :( Check out their website for info... I'll miss them if they go. First Mothering, now SageWoman. The magazines that shaped my early parenting and early pagan path...

I hope SageWoman survives. A few other of my favorite magazines have struggled in the sucky economy but rallied. I want to read The Path of the Christian Witch. I'm not Roman Catholic, but I am a Christian and a Pagan.

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Originally Posted by FeralFox

I'm not doing very well right now, so I might not be around for a little while. My cards went out today. Happy new year to all of you!

I hope you are doing better, Feral!

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Originally Posted by _ktg_

I'm coming back for more word of the year chatter!!! My words last year were Believe and Balance.

Hugs to all who are in need! I'll be back after changing a pooperific diaper!

My word for this year was JoY. For 2012, I haven't decided yet, but MOVE tops my list thus far.

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Not sure what my 2012 word should be... the past few years a word has just thrown itself at me, but this time they're playing hard to get! lol I'm going to be very careful what I ask for this time round though, that's for sure. :)

Maia- hope you're having fun!

FeralFox- I'm an open ear too. DH lost his job and started therapy for massive depression more or less the same week we learned I was pregnant with our first. And dd3's early pregnancy was off the charts in terms of emotional turmoil. (((hugs)))

ooops... computer out of charge, back later!

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Well, but...what else can I do? I love him. Would you (collective you, not You you) give up on the one you love because of addictions? I dunno...it hasn't gotten to the point of needing to save myself first, or my boy.

it matters where your line is. what are you willing to live with.

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Originally Posted by FeralFox

To answer the question before I run back out, it's emotional/mental health stuff. I'm not dealing well with this pregnancy. I'm ok, we're ok, but I just don't feel like I have anything positive to say, and I don't want to burden you guys with my downer attitude. I'm still around, kinda, just have nothing to say.

my first 12 weeks of this pregnancy i was all depressed.

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Originally Posted by wombatclayLayers! Northern living is all about layers. LOL Well, till you reach the really "north-north" I suppose... when I was visiting my brother in AK (in January) people had super huge coats but seemed to mostly just keep their houses/cars/gathering spots hot and just moved quickly from one to the other without bundling up or layering much indoors. But for New England? Layers!

Have fun taking those layers off! ;)

I already have

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Originally Posted by FeralFoxTo answer the question before I run back out, it's emotional/mental health stuff. I'm not dealing well with this pregnancy. I'm ok, we're ok, but I just don't feel like I have anything positive to say, and I don't want to burden you guys with my downer attitude. I'm still around, kinda, just have nothing to say.

Aww, don't worry about bringing us down. You haven't been here long enough to know what a tight group we are, and you are already a part of us! Please do "burden" us. We're here for you, mama

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Originally Posted by vydaleaMaia, I'm SURE you and M will find ways to warm up!! I, for one, will be wearing my layered sweat outfit to bed. heehee.

Heehee back atcha. I, for one, will be wearing nothing

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Originally Posted by Valerie.QcChoose a word for 2012: OWN. This is what I do instead of resolutions.

Oh man! I forgot what my 2011 word was. I know I liked it a whole bunch. Oh wait....I know it had something to do with acceptance of people...drat, it's right there, but I can't access it! I will have to think on one for 2012. QUIET, maybe. As in shut UP; I talk too much. Or maybe I should choose LISTEN.

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Originally Posted by 3xMamaNot to mention we can ignore my toxic MIL for awhile now, too. She actually told my DH that he was going to "ruin" my BIL's visit from Seattle because he was going to be around too much. Way to be very clear on who your favorite child is

Maia-What a roller coaster!! Holy monkeys...Hopefully this all gets straightened out now that you are up there! Enjoy your visit and safe travels to you!!

What did I say? Roller coaster...you mean M's recovery ride? He's trying-- he's back on the wagon, I think. AA does get to you. They say "AA ruins your drinking" and I think that's starting to happen with him

What an awful thing about your MIL--GRR, huh? I haven't mentioned my time at my Mom's, but mine does her "favorite child" routine, too. Only, passive-aggressively I'm the fuck-up child, with the fuck-up grandchild, and she makes no bones about it. My brother? I call him Golden Boy. He can do no wrong, in my mom's eyes. My brother and I get along famously, and I love him completely; I have no resentment towards him at all. But man...she's just obnoxious in that way. And it does absolutely no good to try to rectify things. Y'all remember when I wrote her that letter one time. The year my brother wrote her about the gift thing with his dd's. It got better for a little while, and I know she LOVES us. She just doesn't LIKE us, at all.

My visit: I just got here today, but it was a good day for travel: great weather all the way up the coast, nothing like last year! AND, M is much more relaxed, this trip, thus far. I hope it lasts.

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Originally Posted by revoltingI hope SageWoman survives. A few other of my favorite magazines have struggled in the sucky economy but rallied. I want to read The Path of the Christian Witch. I'm not Roman Catholic, but I am a Christian and a Pagan.

My word for this year was JoY. For 2012, I haven't decided yet, but MOVE tops my list thus far.

If you don't mine me asking, which stripe of Christian are you? How do you do both? We can PM if you'd rather, or you can just tell me I'm being nosy and to butt out

MOVE-- that is a very good one. I may steal!

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Originally Posted by LionessMomit matters where your line is. what are you willing to live with.

Yes, I suppose that is so. I guess, then, what I meant to say is, I haven't had to draw one yet.

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Welcome back to MA, Maia. I just got back myself. I have a couple days around here, and then I'm flying the family to FL for 6 days to see my aunt and grandfather. If you are on FB, you'll see that we had a scare with him. But now all is well. This happened last year at this time, too. Thank the gods he's still with us for a little while longer. I want my DD to know him, as he's my hero.

Feral-*hugs* we're here when you need us!

Clay-that's awful! people really need to get over religion and be happy to spend time with family. My GMIL was telling me how DH is really Jewish, no matter what Jewish law says because he did the bris, the bar mitzvah, etc. Except that he's been told by plenty of Jews that he isn't because his mother never converted. Besides that, DH doesn't believe in any god...he's a pagan atheist, if you will, and could care less whether people think he's Jewish or not! But don't tell my GMIL that--I don't think it would compute anyway.

I'm thinking ACHIEVEMENT and BALANCE for 2012. I want to get things done this year. Really done, not "good enough" or "ok for now", but done! They don't have to be huge things, but they do need to be done things. :)

Sharing the idea of year goals with the kids, dd1 decided her year goal would be going to Disneyland. I tried to explain that the goal should be something more character based/personal/internal but she countered that Disney has "lots of characters" and that she'd be "a happier person at Disney" soooooo.... what can I say? Maybe we'll figure out some way to do a "Disney at Home" adventure. LOL

me time- I'm searching for me time and am putting a nefarious plot in motion today. I'm turning a shelf in the bedroom into a coffee bar. I'm putting a selection of teas, a small thing of coffee, an electric kettle, and a travel french press on the shelf. Also some luna bar bites and a few books/magazines and an alarm clock. I figure, Tiel wakes me at about 5:30 every morning and although I nurse her back to sleep and sort of doze till everyone is screaming (7am, best case scenario) it's not really deep sleep and I can probably do without it. So I'm going to experiment with getting up at 6, grabbing coffee or tea, and then reading there in the bedroom till Tiel wakes up. I know I'll have to tweak it a bit (I'm tempted to steal the kitchen coffee pot that lets you set a timer so the coffee is ready when you wake... I used to set the coffee pot and the bread machine so I'd wake to fresh coffee/bread. MMmmmmM!.... but I don't want to have to carry the coffee pot and filter up and down the stairs every day and I know I'd forget to "load" it the previous night). But I hope this brings some of the BALANCE into my day.

pagan home binder- since that thread isn't really hopping at the moment... how do people actually USE their binders? I realized that while I love the idea of the binder, and enjoyed making it, I don't actually USE it for anything. Do people really carry their binders around the house? And if so, how does that work? Or is it more like a reference book on the shelf, waiting for you to pull it down and check out what crafts you want to make for a specific holiday? Right now I've got a small memo book/calendar thing in my bag that I've sort of adjusted to be a portable binder. I'm not sure it'll work, but it might! The clear cover of the calendar I folded over and it holds one of my Kitchen Tarot cards so I can take my daily card with me on the road, and the inner cover has pictures of my kiddos. But again it's something I think I'll need to tweak.

Happy new years all, and don't forget all your good luck charms! (we're going to get the chores done today so we can start the new years relaxing as a family with fridge/cupboards full, everyone gets a chocolate to munch when they wake so the new year will be filled with sweetness, we'll open all the windows and doors and faucets and have a noisy parade to blow away the old then light candles and sing at the door to invite the new year in, and we'll have our black eyed peas and buttered biscuits for dinner)

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Originally Posted by wombatclayme time- I'm searching for me time and am putting a nefarious plot in motion today. I'm turning a shelf in the bedroom into a coffee bar. I'm putting a selection of teas, a small thing of coffee, an electric kettle, and a travel french press on the shelf. Also some luna bar bites and a few books/magazines and an alarm clock. I figure, Tiel wakes me at about 5:30 every morning and although I nurse her back to sleep and sort of doze till everyone is screaming (7am, best case scenario) it's not really deep sleep and I can probably do without it. So I'm going to experiment with getting up at 6, grabbing coffee or tea, and then reading there in the bedroom till Tiel wakes up. I know I'll have to tweak it a bit (I'm tempted to steal the kitchen coffee pot that lets you set a timer so the coffee is ready when you wake... I used to set the coffee pot and the bread machine so I'd wake to fresh coffee/bread. MMmmmmM!.... but I don't want to have to carry the coffee pot and filter up and down the stairs every day and I know I'd forget to "load" it the previous night). But I hope this brings some of the BALANCE into my day.

pagan home binder- since that thread isn't really hopping at the moment... how do people actually USE their binders? I realized that while I love the idea of the binder, and enjoyed making it, I don't actually USE it for anything. Do people really carry their binders around the house? And if so, how does that work? Or is it more like a reference book on the shelf, waiting for you to pull it down and check out what crafts you want to make for a specific holiday? Right now I've got a small memo book/calendar thing in my bag that I've sort of adjusted to be a portable binder. I'm not sure it'll work, but it might! The clear cover of the calendar I folded over and it holds one of my Kitchen Tarot cards so I can take my daily card with me on the road, and the inner cover has pictures of my kiddos. But again it's something I think I'll need to tweak.

LOL at your last paragraph, which I did not quote here: M says "that's a shitload of work!" and I said "she's the one that just had her 4th baby" and he said "that's a shitload of coke!"...silly M

I think your coffee bar sounds yay. I would probably put on the next thrift store list "programmable coffeepot". What I used to do when ds was little-- I would have to nurse him down EVERY nap and sleep, and he was a HORRIBLE sleeper, so behind my six bed pillows I had a magazine, a fluff book or novel, tissues, water, hershey kisses...whatever I needed for the long haul. Because if he unlatched, he woke up. I had to make sure I had an empty bladder first!

I didn't ever get a home binder done, but I have an old binder with stuff in it marked "BOS". It is filled with rituals and things for families with little kids. DS is not into any rituals of any sort anymore. I don't mean just Pagan religious rites, I mean rituals as in habits for holidays. Maybe I'll send it to you and see what you can do with it.

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What did I say? Roller coaster...you mean M's recovery ride? He's trying-- he's back on the wagon, I think. AA does get to you. They say "AA ruins your drinking" and I think that's starting to happen with him

What an awful thing about your MIL--GRR, huh? I haven't mentioned my time at my Mom's, but mine does her "favorite child" routine, too. Only, passive-aggressively I'm the fuck-up child, with the fuck-up grandchild, and she makes no bones about it. My brother? I call him Golden Boy. He can do no wrong, in my mom's eyes. My brother and I get along famously, and I love him completely; I have no resentment towards him at all. But man...she's just obnoxious in that way. And it does absolutely no good to try to rectify things. Y'all remember when I wrote her that letter one time. The year my brother wrote her about the gift thing with his dd's. It got better for a little while, and I know she LOVES us. She just doesn't LIKE us, at all.

My visit: I just got here today, but it was a good day for travel: great weather all the way up the coast, nothing like last year! AND, M is much more relaxed, this trip, thus far. I hope it lasts.

Roller coaster as in the lung cancer thing specifically. The alcohol recovery is a roller coaster, too, no doubt!

Your mom sounds a lot like my MIL. Normally she's a lot more passive-aggressive and its gotten tons better since DH is an adult and no longer lives with her. Normally its just in how she talks about my BILs and will give DH snide looks like he's disappointed her. But since my BIL lives across the country and is only home and Christmas, she's extra cranky and possessive of his time. He's definitely the golden child, though if she knew half the things about him I do he probably wouldn't be so much (normal college kid stuff, nothing major). I think it really just twists her panties in a wad that we didn't follow the conventional path. Baby before marriage, culinary school, unusual job choice with abnormal hours, stay at home mom, don't go to church, home birth, breastfeeding, co sleeping, cloth diapers...it bugs her. Normally it doesn't bother us so much, but her out and out cruel remark and attitude towards DH when his brother was around was just over the top.

Glad your visit is going well so far!

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclay

Sharing the idea of year goals with the kids, dd1 decided her year goal would be going to Disneyland. I tried to explain that the goal should be something more character based/personal/internal but she countered that Disney has "lots of characters" and that she'd be "a happier person at Disney" soooooo.... what can I say? Maybe we'll figure out some way to do a "Disney at Home" adventure. LOL

me time- I'm searching for me time and am putting a nefarious plot in motion today. I'm turning a shelf in the bedroom into a coffee bar. I'm putting a selection of teas, a small thing of coffee, an electric kettle, and a travel french press on the shelf. Also some luna bar bites and a few books/magazines and an alarm clock. I figure, Tiel wakes me at about 5:30 every morning and although I nurse her back to sleep and sort of doze till everyone is screaming (7am, best case scenario) it's not really deep sleep and I can probably do without it. So I'm going to experiment with getting up at 6, grabbing coffee or tea, and then reading there in the bedroom till Tiel wakes up. I know I'll have to tweak it a bit (I'm tempted to steal the kitchen coffee pot that lets you set a timer so the coffee is ready when you wake... I used to set the coffee pot and the bread machine so I'd wake to fresh coffee/bread. MMmmmmM!.... but I don't want to have to carry the coffee pot and filter up and down the stairs every day and I know I'd forget to "load" it the previous night). But I hope this brings some of the BALANCE into my day.

pagan home binder- since that thread isn't really hopping at the moment... how do people actually USE their binders? I realized that while I love the idea of the binder, and enjoyed making it, I don't actually USE it for anything. Do people really carry their binders around the house? And if so, how does that work? Or is it more like a reference book on the shelf, waiting for you to pull it down and check out what crafts you want to make for a specific holiday? Right now I've got a small memo book/calendar thing in my bag that I've sort of adjusted to be a portable binder. I'm not sure it'll work, but it might! The clear cover of the calendar I folded over and it holds one of my Kitchen Tarot cards so I can take my daily card with me on the road, and the inner cover has pictures of my kiddos. But again it's something I think I'll need to tweak.

Happy new years all, and don't forget all your good luck charms! (we're going to get the chores done today so we can start the new years relaxing as a family with fridge/cupboards full, everyone gets a chocolate to munch when they wake so the new year will be filled with sweetness, we'll open all the windows and doors and faucets and have a noisy parade to blow away the old then light candles and sing at the door to invite the new year in, and we'll have our black eyed peas and buttered biscuits for dinner)

LOL Good luck with your Disney at Home Adventure! How old is your DD? Young enough to go for it?

I do something very similar to that in the mornings. DH and I are up by about 6:30. I help him get out of the house and instead of going back to bed for another hour or so, I make myself a cup of coffee or tea and read, play a video game or check out Mothering, whichever strikes my fancy that day. Sometimes DS2 is up with me, but he'll generally eat and then play on his own. DD and DS1 are up by 7:30, so its not a lot of time, but I do love it. Gets the day going very positively for me. I hope you enjoy it as well!!

Pagan binder-I liked the idea of it, but its more or less what my Book of Shadows is for me. I don't feel that I need both, kwim?

Sounds like an awesome New Year! Enjoy!!

Well our second date night didn't go as planned. My other BIL's car wouldn't start so DH had to fix that for him (BIL is 17 and knows nothing about cars, it was a super super quick and easy fix). Then DS1 ended up with a fever and had to come home. Of course he wakes up this morn and is acting normal and is completely fever free. Don't get me wrong, I'm super glad he's healthy, but dang did it have to be last night this happened?! But we got homemade pizza at my parents and ate our fancy cake dessert in bed watching TV. Then we had our fancy take out pasta for breakfast. Yay for lobster in the morning!

Word for the year...I'm thinking mine with be either perseverance or persistence or perception. I'm not totally sure but something with that strong "p" start. I will keep thinking on it and decide tomorrow.

Maybe it is the weird energy of the holidays or something, but I have felt off. I see a new dr Monday to look into hormone stuff, cause I am experiencing some changes, well a lot of changes and not someone who is willing to do more than just prescribe antidepressants.

I'm going to post one last time here and then I'll move to the Jan thread.

I love the idea for a New Year's word and I think mine will be GRACE as in : 1. The exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another. It keeps popping up here and there for me and I feel like I should acknowledge it! I think it has a lot to do with a path I see before myself... combining teaching early childhood and the experience I had teaching in the inner city of Baltimore... we'll see.

My love to all of you. THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all of you wonderful new friends that have brought so much to my world this 2011. I truly appreciate having this "place" and you all.

feelings- feeling kind of wonky. I'm not sure if it's the flu, being generally worn down, the approaching new year, or what but I feel off kilter. Sort of like there is something I need to do, but I'm not sure what it is. I'm a bit worried that I'm going to "just do something" and it'll be the wrong thing. Very odd feeling. Almost paralyzed because I don't want to do the wrong thing, while at the same time really wanting to do /something/. I just have to figure out what that something is! LOL

Me too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FeralFox

I'm not doing very well right now, so I might not be around for a little while. My cards went out today. Happy new year to all of you!

(((hugs))) I have been keeping a low profile for a few so I understand but totally here to listen, offer a hug, positive vibes and energy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maiasaura

Well, but...what else can I do? I love him. Would you (collective you, not You you) give up on the one you love because of addictions? I dunno...it hasn't gotten to the point of needing to save myself first, or my boy.

I am going to M's tomorrow! I have to be up at 3:30am to be on the road at 4:00 My plane leaves at 8am, but it's a 2 hour drive to the airport, and you know you have to be there ahead, a bit, for the dang security. But YAY!!!

I would be doing just what you are doing and be there. Have fun, I must have been gone for a bit cause I feel like I was just saying enjoy your trip:) Enjoy your trip!

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombatclay

job- I've been job hunting and so far nada. I'm counting on 2012 as being a year of opportunity and prosperity.

health- I need to get a pp overhaul. I think my PPD is slowly rearing it's head. I hope not, but I also know that boot-strappping doesn't work and with 4 kiddos I can't afford to wait too long. So all you FE and EO and herbal and tapping goddesses... ideas? General anxiety, sense of impending dread, metallic taste in the mouth, loss of satisfaction in eating (I get hungry, I eat, I'm no longer hungry but I'm not "satisfied" either), zero libido, and a very very VERY short emotional fuse (not just in terms of yelling at kiddos, but also in terms of bursting into tears at the drop of a hat sort of stuff). I've resisted conventional medication for PPD in the past but have a limited budget and limited time (I need things that will work fast, not ramp up over months).

I hope you find a job that's perfect for you.

I had PPD for 18 months and I feel your pain. I felt worthless as far as being a good Mom, cried at the drop of a hat. I mean someone would say hello and I would cry, watching a commercial, anything would turn the tears on. Over all drained, just at the end and feeling I had no more to give at times. I wish I was educated in the FE's enough to offer up a few but I know there are some well informed Mamas here. I hope you feel better asap.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FeralFox

To answer the question before I run back out, it's emotional/mental health stuff. I'm not dealing well with this pregnancy. I'm ok, we're ok, but I just don't feel like I have anything positive to say, and I don't want to burden you guys with my downer attitude. I'm still around, kinda, just have nothing to say.

No burden at all, we are all here to listen, support and help. Thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc

Choose a word for 2012: OWN. This is what I do instead of resolutions.

I so need a word but have no clue. I think I am going to pull a rune.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aubergine68

Clay, I have not had experience with ppd, but Nat Mur is the cell salt for grief and calc phos for exhaustion. Star of Bethleham or good old Rescue Remedy for general trauma. Are you getting your iron, your vitamin D? Hugs, you! I totally understand resisting doing the medications, but you have SO much on your plate - maybe you need to give yourself permission to try them. You can always wean off them, do the lowest possible dose. Wishing you well in the job search!

I am going to meditate on it for a couple of days and choose finally on New Year's Day.

I had to go on meds. They take time but not as long as I thought and I was able to go off them in a short period of time.

Love the idea of meditating on it for a few:) I am going to do that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali

There must be something in the air. I'm feeling down/agitated. Not sure if it ties into hormonal stuff (hard to tell when you don't get a period anymore.)

Originally Posted by 3xMamaI think it really just twists her panties in a wad that we didn't follow the conventional path. Baby before marriage, culinary school, unusual job choice with abnormal hours, stay at home mom, don't go to church, home birth, breastfeeding, co sleeping, cloth diapers...it bugs her.

Word for the year...I'm thinking mine with be either perseverance or persistence or perception. I'm not totally sure but something with that strong "p" start. I will keep thinking on it and decide tomorrow.

Yeah, my mom is the same way. My ds's father pointed out, years ago, that maybe my mom was taking my "opposite" parenting path as a criticism on how she did hers. A rejection, of sorts. I pointed it out to her and she didn't think so, but she has always been hyper critical of me, and especially my parenting.

I will never forget one year-- it was Thanksgiving, and at the time, my ds and I were vegetarian. We all were up at my brother and SILs. SIL had a turkey in the oven, and I asked if she minded if I stuck my tofurkey in there alongside. SIL had no problem with it. DS was about 2 at the time. Probably not even that old.

My mom comes huffing up the stairs from the basement, at one point, glares at me...and I was like "What?" and she goes "I'm just sick of you and your ways" Um, huh?? That SO came out of nowhere. I was shocked and stung and really hurt. And confused. No earthly idea where that had come from. But she's still like that. Even though she will actually thank me for helping with dishes and stuff, at her house. I have to admit I did used to just leave my clothes on the bathroom floor, but I don't do anything like that anymore. I go out of my way to do things right, but honestly? I will never be right enough for my mother

Quote:

Originally Posted by AeressMaybe it is the weird energy of the holidays or something, but I have felt off.

Feel better, mama

Quote:

Originally Posted by vydaleaI'm going to post one last time here and then I'll move to the Jan thread.

Me, too!

Quote:

Originally Posted by redvegI must have been gone for a bit cause I feel like I was just saying enjoy your trip:) Enjoy your trip!

You did, actually. I was here at Thanksgiving. This is the only time of year I get to come up less than two months apart.

Off to the January thread!

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