ok, I took my first Abilify last night, 5mg. I feel totally whacked out. Late last night I started to hallucinate and everything was getting worse. It seemed to make all the delusions and things worse. I still feel that way today. I hope this is a temporary side effect. Anyone else have this??

I've been so angry and depressed lately, I swear my husband is about to send me away. We have been fighting like crazy. The really bad thing is that it's rubbing off on my 4 year old. I've got to stop talking badly to my husband because my son is starting to disrespect his dad thinking that this is the way we treat him. It's not a good thing. Not at all. But, i get so wrapped up in my anger, i can't see past it. I hope these meds will help, but it's going to be another 3 weeks before I even start on the Depokote. I went to the counsler yesterday, I think I need to find a new one. I've only seen the guy 4 or 5 times now. This is the 2nd time he's almost fallen asleep while I was talking. He yawns a lot during our sessions. He also didn't remember anything about me and didn't even remember that I had kids. I mean, he could have looked over my chart before I came in to pretend to know me, right??? I don't like him. I want someone who's going to be interested in what I have to say. The pdoc was awesome, he was all into me, he kept me there for 2 hours..lol..he kept saying how fascinating I was and how I had such a history. He seemed genuinely interested in treating me. I don't require to be treated like a queen or special, but at least remember me from appointment to appointment.

Jeny,My husband had different side effects with Abilify (extreme muscle tightening in his face and his legs which is actually quite rare) so he spoke to his doctor and was taken off it after just under a week. He also takes lithium 2X a day so it just may not have been the right combination for him. Since this was just your first night with it, I would give it a little more time. If you are still having problems after a week, I would call your pdoc.

I personally believe that in order for therapy to work you must like your therapist. It sounds to me that the relationship is just not there for you. What works for some doesn't always work for another. Does your pdoc do talk therapy? If not, perhaps he can recommend someone else? But I think you should definitely see someone who you feel is interested in you and your well being.

Did you have hallucinations before the abilify or was that purely the drug? If that was only the drug, you need to call the doc, pronto.

Your husband is not about to send you off. He knows what you're going through, but believe it when I say we are HARD TO LIVE WITH at times. I'm glad you're thinking about what your 4 year old is taking in, because it's not fair to your husband. Try to remember your husband is trying to help you and be good to him.

The counselor sounds like a dog and you need a new one. You deserve far better than that. Ask around. Ask your pdoc.

Serafina,yes, hallucinations and delusions have been a part of my life for a long long time. I have since seen the pdoc again and they have considered, schizoaffective disorder. Which I've been told before. But, they are sticking with original diagnosis for now because of my high functionality.

Abilify Update: I've been on it for over a week and I LOVE this drug!! I recently went on a trip to a very loud, long and large family event. Typically would have put me into a major head psycho spin with delusions, voices, panic attacks and such. I had nothing, I handled it great. I take this little 5mg pill and poof! it's almost disappeared. I had a little 'static' as I call it, but nothing I couldn't handle. I can't believe I've went through all my life without this this help. I feel like i'm finally on the right path to recovery. Everything I've tried in the past didn't work. I'm so glad. I just hope it lasts...sometimes I become immune or whatever to drugs and they kind of wear off after awhile for me. I'm hoping this doesn't happen.

Thought I would share.

Hopefully, with this and a mood regulator like Depakote - I'll be a new woman! Well, and some good counseling...that's another task I need to get on, finding a new doctor.

Wow! I'm really happy for you that your med is working out for you. Now remember if you want things to stay this well you need to keep all of your appointments with your pdoc and ask for an earlier appointment if you feel things are getting a little hairy for you, because a little adjustment here & there is what it is all about for finding the right combination! And that will probably be the coarse for the rest of our lives. I'm really happy for you!

Please, get a new therapist though. Ask your pdoc for a referral or if he does therapy as well. You know you really need a good connection with your therapist and you're right...this one should remember you or read your notes before you enter session. What a jerk!

You're really doing well and deserve to have this part work out just as well for you.

Jeny...I am glad that you are starting to feel some improvement. And remember not to get discouraged if you start to feel worse. It does take some time to get on the right med and to have it regulate in your body, so there is liable to be some ups and downs. Just always remember that you are on the right path.

thanks all, i really appreciate the sentiments.i've been having migraines like crazy lately and they make my delusions and hallucinations 10x worse. I've had migraines for about a year now. so, not so good right now. ugg. plus i have a lot of stress going on...personal stuff. my brother has a brain cyst and his life isn't going so well, financial troubles. My brother and I are very very close but we hardly ever see each other and didn't grow up together..weird huh? We share an incredible bond, so when he hurts, i hurt...it's just causing a lot of stress right now. My father is a big stress in my life too, very long story.

Anyway, I still haven't gotten into see a new counseler, the mental health community is lacking in a major way here. It's quiet pathetic. Since i've been on the Abilify i've been a lot better, like I said before, more regular mood pattern - no manic episodes. But, i've still been pretty moody and angry. I get anger outbursts still...that's the depression I believe. haven't had the major depression since the abilify either...so i'm not going to the extremes now that i'm on the abilify, just doing a regular bipolar i guess you would call it. i dunno...it's kinda weird. i've felt kinda numb and dreamy like, almost like i'm about to go into one of my 'schizophrenic' episodes. that's what i call it. i do them before i go really high manic. get all parinoid and see things and freak out and stuff. go on and on about philosophy...i'm feeling very aware of life again, like i do with that. ugg....cycles and cycles here we go. can't we just have a normal existance??? i'm tired of this cycling. i see the councler on thurs. but it's the jerk guy and i'm going to tell him that i don't want to see him again. i mean i was thinking about that fact that he doesn't even know that i don't like to be called jennifer. i mean the phychitrist i saw knew that after speaking to me after 2 hours and this guy has seen me for 6 sesssions. i'm so done with him. anyway...i'm ranting again. i've ranted like 4 times today on things to boards and such. i need to work, i'm at work and i'm not working.:( i miss my brother and i wish i could see him. i sound like i'm 12 and i'm really 32 years old. it's stupid. i visited him last week and i hadn't seen him in 6 years. it was only for 3 days it just wasn't enough time. and now his phone is disconnected and i can't talk to him. my husband doesn't want me sending them money so i can't send them money for the bill. :((((((((((if anyone actually reads this, thanks.-jeny