Hey, wondering where we went? No worries, we are just changing format and conducting some testing before we flip the switch. For now, you can get all of our new stuff by clicking here..We aren't quite ready to switch quite yet, but the end result will be a continuous flow of dark and often day-wrecking content from our regular authors as well as other members. It's a work in progress and we are still working on some design and function stuff, but the updated content is now coming through.

BROOKLYN, NY – After missing for a week, the body of 88-year-old Mary Joyce-Bonsignore has been located on the roof of the building adjacent to hers.

The elderly woman, who has a history of dementia and wandering off, was last seen in the early morning of July 17.

“She just finished her breakfast,” said her daughter, Maire Mason. “She was sitting on the front porch and her husband, Bob, went to go collect the garbage. I guess within 20 minutes she took off and went down the steps.”

Joyce-Bonsignore’s disappearance prompted her fellow parishioners at St. Finbar’s Church, along with local volunteers, to scour the neighborhood and post fliers.

A week after she went missing, a tenant of the building across from hers found maggots inside his second-floor apartment. He followed the trail of maggots which led him to the roof of his building. That’s where he found the missing woman’s body.

It seems Joyce-Bonsignore was disoriented and went into the wrong building thinking it was hers. Once she reached the top of the building she was trapped on the roof and remained there until she died.…

And if that isn’t disturbing enough, the body was only discovered because the man’s landlord entered the home to find out why the rent hadn’t been paid in six months.

This information was revealed by a member of a cleaning service that had been hired to discreetly remove 6 tons of jizz mags in a way that would not be noticed by neighbors or the man’s family, to save them from shame. Welp, so much for discretion….

It is unclear if the man, identified only as a 50-year-old former auto worker named Joji, suffered a heart attack and brought the magazines down with him as he fell, or if they just fell on him, smothering him to death. All I can think of at this point is paper cuts. Lots and lots of paper cuts.

Every available space in the apartment was filled with magazines, the cleaner claims, and they were stacked on tables and shelves, as well.…

CHICAGO, IL – A Hyatt hotel hosting the Midwest Furfest Convention had to be evacuated early Sunday after an “intentional” chlorine gas incident sent 19 people to the hospital.

According to Furfest organizers, at around 12:45 AM on Sunday, the Hyatt Regency O’Hare received a complaint of a chemical odor spreading across the ninth floor.

First responders would find powdered chlorine in a ninth floor stairwell and the manner in which the gas was dispersed “suggests an intentional act,” according to police.

The entire hotel had to be evacuated, which included a large number of furries standing outside in their costumes. Because the incident was being investigated as a criminal act, it was several hours before hotel guests were allowed back into their rooms.

According to Rosemont Public Safety, nineteen people were transported to local hospitals suffering from nausea and dizziness. Some of these people have already been treated and released.

The convention would go on as scheduled, including CompuFur: A Furry Hackathon, the two hour Fursuit Dance Competition and Improv Puppet Do’s and Dont’s.…

Zambia — I normally wouldn’t post anything from Zambia because, face it, they do some weird ass shit over there — kinda like Florida, but without all the face eating. Anyways, because it’s a slow news day and it’s been a slow couple of weeks, I figured I’d give it a go. And, well, because GENITALS.

A man in Chipata is missing three toes and all of his cock-n-balls after apparently allowing a hyena to snack on him. Why would he allow such a thing, you ask? Because a witch doctor told him that sacrificing body parts was the best(?) way to get rich.

“I came from Malawi and when I arrived in Chipata I met some business persons who told me that the best way to become rich was to sacrifice parts of my body,” said Chamangeni Zulu. “I went to a bush where I was instructed to be naked and a hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten.”

After making his deposit, Zulu crawled to a road where he was picked up by passing police officers.…

Brazil — Don’t you just hate it when you’re out walking your dog, just minding your own business, and a porcupine falls out of the sky and onto your head? Yeah, me too… damn porcupines.

Sandra Nabucco, 53, was just out walking her dog, minding her own business Wednesday, when a porcupine reportedly fell off a lamppost and landed on her head, leaving nearly 200 quills behind.

Wait…. what? Porcupines can climb? *googles* Yes, porcupines can climb. Except for African porcupines — I guess they just don’t like to. Learn something new every day here at the DD, eh? Like, did you know that the male porcupine squirts a hot stream of piss at the female porcupine prior to mating? Now you do.

“It was a huge shock,” Nabucco said of the incident. “I felt a thud on my head and then felt spines with my hands. The pain was enormous.”

A surgeon removed the quills with tweezers. Nabucco claims to have stopped counting once she reached 150, but swears there had to have been at least 200 quills lodged in her head.…

Lauderhill, FL – Two police officers turned themselves in last week amid allegations that they pressured two female DUI suspects into giving them sexual favors in return for not arresting them. One officer allegedly ordered one of the women to punch him in the nuts because it turned him on.

Police officer Thomas Merenda, 34, and his partner, Franklin Hartley, 33, pulled over two intoxicated women around 4 am at a Taco Bell. The women allege that Hartley told them he could arrest them, but then told them to drive behind a strip mall where Merenda was waiting.

Hartley followed them and once there, began to “kiss and touch” the passenger’s breasts “while reminding her she could be arrested.” Then he reportedly ordered her to have sex with him, which she did.

At the same time, Merenda gave the other female a very thorough “pat down” and then asked her to punch him in the “nuts” and “reassured her that this was ok and this turned him on.” His ever-helpful partner encouraged the woman to do so by saying that he “really enjoys this” and the woman kicked Merenda in the balls.…

The stinging sexual assault took place Monday on a farm near Ystad, a town of about 18,000, near Denmark, at the southern tip of the country better known for massages and their nonexistent bikini team.

According to investigators, Bertil Stahfraas discovered the 35-year-old victim lying unconscious on his farm. Stahfraas described his horny neighbor as being so bloated, at first he thought he was looking at a whale carcass. When he got closer, though, he was able to recognize Hasse’s neck tattoo. No word on whether Hasse was a Li’l Kim fan.

Hasse—unfortunately for him—was still alive, but died an hour after being found. Following an autopsy, police concluded that Hasse had tried to have intercourse with the wasp’s nest, without removing said wasps. The coronor found 146 stings on his body, including 54 on his genitals.

Insiders say the pathologist believes no man in recorded history ever wished to ejaculate prematurely more than Hasse.…

She got busted after someone at the cemetery noticed her leaving a grave in which items were stolen and was able to provide police with a description and a partial license plate number.

When police arrived at her home, the noticed that her front yard and home were decorated with 146 pieces she’d stolen, including planters, flowers, angels, pottery, Christmas lights, religious figurines, wind chimes, and other trinkets that people had placed on the graves of their loved ones.

“She was not very particular,” said St. Cloud Police Department spokesperson, Officer Chad Durham. “She would take them from baby gravesites, as well as adult gravesites.”

They even found a baseball in her home that was from a gravesite of a boy who passed away at 16.

Farinella, who has a rap sheet 25 pages long, told police she had purchased the items from yard sales.…

MOUNT HOPKINS, AZ – Lord knows I have reported on just about every horrifying death imaginable, but every now and then one comes around that has me thinking about the victim and muttering, “You poor, poor son of a bitch.”

On Monday, 55-year-old Steven Johnson was found dead in the Santa Rita Mountains hanging from his rappelling gear and covered in bee stings. The dog Johnson often took with him was also found dead and covered in bee stings on the cliff Johnson had rappelled from.

Johnson, an experienced hiker and mountain climber, was reportedly working an area of Mount Hopkins on Friday to prepare it for future climbers. Sheriff’s deputies went to search the site after he failed to show up for work on Monday.

An autopsy will be conducted to determine actual cause of death, but Santa Cruz County’s Lt. Raoul Rodriguez believes that Johnson may have disturbed a bees’ nest while hammering his ropes into the cliff. Some comments state that this is a terrible time of year in regards to bees, and some mentioned that the bees that attacked Johnson and his dog were probably the dreaded Africanized Honey Bee, aka the true Killer Bee.…

California – Just when I thought I’ve covered just about every horrible death imaginable, five women died inside a burning limo while out celebrating the upcoming wedding of one of the victim, 31-year-old Neriza Fojas.

While crossing the San Mateo-Hayward bridge Saturday night, the white stretch Lincoln caught on fire. The driver, 46-year-old Orville Brown, pulled over when the women got his attention, thinking the women were asking him to stop so they could smoke.

“She said, ‘No smoke – smoke smoke…pull over pull over pull over,'” Brown recalled. “I saw the smoke, pulled over, by the time I was getting out the car there was a lady coming over the partition.”

He said he helped three other women escape the fiery limo, but was unable to help the bride-to-be and four other women. They ended up trapped inside and were all killed in the fire.

Police would later say that the victims were burned beyond recognition and had to be identified by their dental records. County coroner Robert Foucrault told NBC that the victims were found lying on top of each other, with one dying while trying to climb through the partition that separates the passenger compartment from the driver’s.…

Dennis McCauley had been living with Mrs. Marquis in her mobile home at Long’s Mobile Home Court just outside of Detroit for about three years. When her rent hadn’t been paid for 6 months, the manager came to her home to evict her. When he knocked on the door, Dennis McCauley answered, and was apparently pretty nonchalant considering there was a rotting corpse laid out on the pull out sofa within easy view of the front door.

McCauley let an officer into the trailer and “the officer noted a pungent smell of decay and observed a corpse in the room immediately to the right of the front door,” states Redford Township Sgt. Kevin Crittenden. “The corpse had obviously been deceased for some time and was partially dried out.” I can’t help but imagine a comically short conversation between the officer and McCauley. Is that a dead body on the couch? …