Don't know hockey, but love the fights

Chronicle columnist, Bruce Jenkins stands for a photograph inside the studio on Tuesday Jan. 27, 2008 in San Francisco,Calif.

Chronicle columnist, Bruce Jenkins stands for a photograph inside the studio on Tuesday Jan. 27, 2008 in San Francisco,Calif.

Photo: Michael Macor, The Chronicle

Photo: Michael Macor, The Chronicle

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Chronicle columnist, Bruce Jenkins stands for a photograph inside the studio on Tuesday Jan. 27, 2008 in San Francisco,Calif.

Chronicle columnist, Bruce Jenkins stands for a photograph inside the studio on Tuesday Jan. 27, 2008 in San Francisco,Calif.

Photo: Michael Macor, The Chronicle

Don't know hockey, but love the fights

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Welcome to the Hockey School for Idiots. I'm a charter member, as I'm sure you've noticed by the staggering lack of Sharks columns over the years. But I've always enjoyed the sport, dating back to the days when the NHL was a six-team league, and though I don't follow it nearly enough to stay current, I happen to enjoy a rip-roaring hockey fight. As the league prepares to address the issue in its general managers' meeting next month, it should know that I'm hardly alone.

Fights are a joke in most every other sport. Football: too much gear. Basketball: lovers, not fighters. Baseball: the obligatory and ludicrous swarm of humanity. Motor sports: not nearly enough of it. Tennis: big talkers, no action. Soccer: nothing like a good slap. But there's an undeniable thrill - you have to admit this - when two hockey enforcers drop the gloves and the refs back off. This is pure, primal entertainment, and absolutely part of the NHL dynamic.

My interest goes back to the days of the Oakland Seals, when Carol Vadnais squared off against John Ferguson, Wayne Cashman, Keith Magnuson (they still talk about that one) and other heavyweights of the 1970s. But it's a treat in any era. A Bay Area newspaper recently ran a long feature on Jody Shelley, the Sharks' resident pugilist and a local sporting hero. There's a bitter feud developing between two of the league's biggest names, Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin, and though neither is known as a prime-time fighter (Crosby's style has been likened to the Jerry Springer show), fans can't wait for the Penguins-Capitals rematch March 8.

Don't believe any survey that suggests fans are "tired" of fighting. It's simply not true. People aren't attending games for the fights (actually, a few people are), but it makes for a lively sideshow to the main event, and enforcement is a crucial element on any top-flight team. If the league really wanted to crack down on fighting, it would have done so decades ago.

Just don't let Paul Kelly into the conversation next month. Kelly, executive director of the players' association, recently suggested that helmets remain on during fights, and if one comes off, officials should immediately stop the bout. Wrong! Fights should be allowed only if players remove their helmets; otherwise it's just senseless beating on plastic. And as soon as one or both combatants go down, thus becoming susceptible to a major head injury, that fight is over.

Truth be told, it was an infinitely more glamorous league when nobody wore helmets and players were instantly identifiable as they flew down the ice, but I'm leaving now. I've already been on the soapbox too long.