It's simply amazing how casual transphobia is.
Unlike with racist comments, where people do that little look around to make sure there's no racial minorities within earshot, people just blab it out without even giving it a second thought.

I'm at my favorite coffee shop, I go there every single day.
The barista working the counter is pretty friendly with me, we usually have little conversations, sometimes we see each other around town and she'll go out of her way just to say hi.
She's talking with a friend about a party, when he says "Bring some friends, and make sure they're REAL girls, I don't want no lady cocks." She laughs and says "Trannies are so gross, eughh."
Meanwhile I'm standing right fucking there, at the counter directly in front of her, shocked like "Did you really just say that?".
I pay for my drink and storm the fuck out of there.

Guess I need to find a new coffee shop.

Sound just like an average school day for me... Homophobic and transphobic comments are very very casual here.

I typed a note (beause my hand writing sucks) about 3 years ago when I came out to her as gay. I left it by her bed side at night, went to my room and locked the door.

It just seems a little immature to do it like that.

Edited:

Well, it feels immature to do so. And I'd be eventually having to sit face to face with her anyway. The only reason why I came here for Spring Break is because she has appointments set up for me (orthodontist & doctor for blood test (I have a blood condition)) and I'm basically going to be here the entire week.

I'm really just considering not telling her, going back to my apartment, and wait until the weekend to tell her via a text. That way she can call me over the phone to talk and I won't have to be face to face. If she wants to be, she can take a 3 hour drive up to my apartment.

I don't really see it as immature. Its one way of communication, so why not utilize it if you can't bring yourself to actually tell her face to face?

Alright so my therapist thinks I'm not depressed enough to be transgender. It's not like hiding it for 8-9 years has made me pretty much stone cold to all emotions or anything. Also apparently I have to be super girly to be trans?

Alright so my therapist thinks I'm not depressed enough to be transgender. It's not like hiding it for 8-9 years has made me pretty much stone cold to all emotions or anything. Also apparently I have to be super girly to be trans?

Alright so my therapist thinks I'm not depressed enough to be transgender. It's not like hiding it for 8-9 years has made me pretty much stone cold to all emotions or anything. Also apparently I have to be super girly to be trans?

Fuck therapists, they think everything has to go exactly by the book and that everyone is the same. Their so full of shit.

That's bullshit. There are many different girls - super-girly girls, normal girls, butch girls, whatever girls. If butch cis-gender girls exist, so do butch trans-girls. Your therapist is very uneducated and is an idiot.

That's bullshit. There are many different girls - super-girly girls, normal girls, butch girls, whatever girls. If butch cis-gender girls exist, so do butch trans-girls. Your therapist is very uneducated and is an idiot.

Alright so my therapist thinks I'm not depressed enough to be transgender. It's not like hiding it for 8-9 years has made me pretty much stone cold to all emotions or anything. Also apparently I have to be super girly to be trans?

"be more depressed, you're not trans enough" is what i'm getting out of that

what a crock of shit. There's no right way to be a woman, a man, a transperson. Telling a client they aren't depressed enough is probably the last thing you should do as a therapist as well

Well this is the only place in Finland where I can realistically go to so I need to convince them somehow. I mean should I go out in female clothing in an obviously male body? I doubt the public reception would be very good.

Been opening up to a few friends about this lately, Told two irl friends and they took it fine and were really supportive about it, I ended up not talking about this to my mother but she knows it is related to me being transgender now.

me: I'm bad at making decisions, at the moment, it would feel as the only right choice.. but I am afraid that I will regret it later
friend: well that means that you aren't ready yet. You have to think about it properly. You have your whole life to decide

Been opening up to a few friends about this lately, Told two irl friends and they took it fine and were really supportive about it, I ended up not talking about this to my mother but she knows it is related to me being transgender now.

me: I'm bad at making decisions, at the moment, it would feel as the only right choice.. but I am afraid that I will regret it later
friend: well that means that you aren't ready yet. You have to think about it properly. You have your whole life to decide

Is it true that it is never too late to start the sex change?

I have those feelings of regret too. I think you're going to have them all the time. You need a therapist. And yeah, you can start any time you want but, of course, the younger you are the better.

I'm really starting to dislike the negative attitudes in this thread. Stop the self-deprecation, it's not going to help anything. You can't rely on the hormones to get you where you want to be, YOU have to take yourself there. If you're tired of people using male pronouns around you, do something about it. Wear your clothes out in public, and stop being so afraid. If you want to be seen as female, you must present yourself as female. And that has to start at some point.
Girls come in all shapes and sizes and varieties, nobody is going to suspect anything unless you're wearing lingerie in public.
If you don't have all the things you need to present yourself as a girl, improvise. Don't have fake breasts? Get a bra and stuff it with old socks. Are your hips too narrow? Roll up some boxers and put them in the sides of your pants. There are tons of things you can do to make things better, and continuing to present yourself as male is not one of them.

Well this is the only place in Finland where I can realistically go to so I need to convince them somehow. I mean should I go out in female clothing in an obviously male body? I doubt the public reception would be very good.

Yes, showing them that you already live in your desired role plays hugely into convincing them.
What are the rules and regulations regarding transsexuality over in Scandinavia, anyway? I would have assumed they were pretty liberal about it, but I've heard that there's a lot of negativity towards trans-people over there.

I'm really starting to dislike the negative attitudes in this thread. Stop the self-deprecation, it's not going to help anything. You can't rely on the hormones to get you where you want to be, YOU have to take yourself there. If you're tired of people using male pronouns around you, do something about it.

Well it's not my style to wear super-feminine clothing. I mean I wear girl's pants geez

What are the rules and regulations regarding transsexuality over in Scandinavia, anyway? I would have assumed they were pretty liberal about it, but I've heard that there's a lot of negativity towards trans-people over there.

You actually have to be sterile to get a gender change on legal documents, which is completely silly.

very true, I'm not overly girlish but I know who I am and what I want to do. I'll say that I'm a bit nervous about effing up my appointment, but I feel I'm not in the wrong for having gone through male conditioning, that what led me to where I am should make sense to a trained professional.

I just wish I could have a normal life. I'm already having enough problems and going through a sex change now would mess up everything even more. My social relationships right now aren't too good and I can't afford to people to see me as weird and potentially lose more friends. (I just lost two of my most important people for things slightly related to this so I am seriously scared, and saying "they weren't your real friends doesn't help")

I'm also really scared about using medicine, it took me 4 years for doctors to persuade me to start taking antidepressants and I admit, I clearly should have started it before. I don't even take painkillers, I just can't I'm scared that I abuse them like I did before. Just seeing my tablets on my table scares me that if I flip out I might do anything and I can't stop myself. Going through a surgery is something I wish to never experience, I am so scared of it. Modifying my body is so scary, I don't want to ruin it, I just wish I could learn to live like the way I am. Maybe this is just a stage in my life, even though it has been going on for as long as I remember. Being an artificial girl just feels wrong. I don't want to crossdress because I just feel wrong doing it knowing that I am not a real girl. Fuck, I will never be able to give birth. It's just something that makes me so sad.

I appreciate the support and information I have received, but I will have to live with this and for now I decide to keep being my androgynous self. I find it hard to make decisions and I change my mind way too often and I am really scared about anything that might go wrong and if I change my mind later I will hate myself even more than I do now.

Feel free to PM me, I love talking to you people and I know how important it is for me to receive support while I give my support to you.

I just wish I could have a normal life. I'm already having enough problems and going through a sex change now would mess up everything even more. My social relationships right now aren't too good and I can't afford to people to see me as weird and potentially lose more friends. (I just lost two of my most important people for things slightly related to this so I am seriously scared, and saying "they weren't your real friends doesn't help")

I'm also really scared about using medicine, it took me 4 years for doctors to persuade me to start taking antidepressants and I admit, I clearly should have started it before. I don't even take painkillers, I just can't I'm scared that I abuse them like I did before. Just seeing my tablets on my table scares me that if I flip out I might do anything and I can't stop myself. Going through a surgery is something I wish to never experience, I am so scared of it. Modifying my body is so scary, I don't want to ruin it, I just wish I could learn to live like the way I am. Maybe this is just a stage in my life, even though it has been going on for as long as I remember. Being an artificial girl just feels wrong. I don't want to crossdress because I just feel wrong doing it knowing that I am not a real girl. Fuck, I will never be able to give birth. It's just something that makes me so sad.

I appreciate the support and information I have received, but I will have to live with this and for now I decide to keep being my androgynous self. I find it hard to make decisions and I change my mind way too often and I am really scared about anything that might go wrong and if I change my mind later I will hate myself even more than I do now.

Feel free to PM me, I love talking to you people and I know how important it is for me to receive support while I give my support to you.

Jesus. Sell old possessions, do some work for neighbors, save up money you get from holidays and other events, or see if your friends can help out.

i hate to say this but i have almost no possessions worth a sum of money that'd be worth the effort needed to sell them off. my friends are also poor as fuck and i wouldn't even consider them friends anyway [remember that guy who called me a tranny?]

holidays are a long ways off and my birthday already passed months ago.

not to mention my neighbours are fucking assholes who drill stuff into the wall at night, have their dog bark insanely loud and call us assholes for whatever reason they can conjure up.