OSCARS ALERT: I will be live-blogging (more like live-snarking) the Academy Awards tonight. Come for the cynicism. Stay for the subversion. Add your comment. Warning: Not for the easily offended or shocked.

The people who put on the Academy Awards are in a flopsweat panic as the hours tick away before this year’s big broadcast, which is having its major rehearsal and technical run-through today. For weeks now, they’ve been begging me and the other journalists who cover the Oscars not to trash the planning and performances for this year’s telecast like we have in years past. Because their frustration and fear is that, if Sunday’s top-to-bottom reworked show can’t bring back viewers after 2008’s sunk to its lowest ratings ever, then nothing will. And the worst part is that not even Hollywood wants to participate in the Oscars anymore.

I can report that this year’s producers are privately complaining that the biggest movie stars in the world like Jack Nicholson, Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, and Kate Winslet gave them reasons galore — some serious, some trivial — for why they didn’t want to present awards, once considered a huge honor. (For instance, Kidman said she couldn’t appear onstage without the “right” hairdresser. George Clooney wouldn’t reschedule his current visit to Darfur refugee camps in Africa. And Winslet, the Best Actress shoo-in, claimed she was too “nervous” to take it on.) One of the few bigtime actresses who didn’t balk was Reese Witherspoon. These behind-the-scenes embarrassments are one reason why the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences took the unprecedented step this year of failing to make public the list of Oscar presenters. There’s even talk now of bringing back those official $100,000+ Oscar baskets of expensive freebies that used to be given to the show’s presenters and performers (before Uncle Sam decided to tax the giveaways) as a way to bribe Hollywood into lending its star power.

And the lack of major celebrities is one reason why the producers may finally be able to keep the show’s running time to their goal of 3 hours and 15 minutes instead of the usual dragfest that has driven away TV audiences with every passing year. But, in the process, the producers lost Peter Gabriel who refused to sing his Best Original Song from Wall-E, “Down To Earth”, in what he claimed was the insulting allotted time of only 65 seconds for each of the 3 tunes in a medley. The producers also have dissed last year’s actor winners by deciding that France’s Marion Cotillard (Best Actress for La Vie En Rose) and Spain’s Javier Bardem (Best Supporting Actor for No Country For Old Men), Scotland’s Tilda Swinton (Best Supporting Actress for Michael Clayton) and even England’s Daniel Day-Lewis (Best Actor for There Will Be Blood) weren’t big enough names to carry on the time-honored tradition of announcing this year’s winners by themselves. So, I’ve learned, the unusual step will be taken to bring onstage from a riser 5-person groups of other Best Actor or Best Supporting Actress winners from past eras in order to add more glitz and glamor to the presentations. (Not to mention that Australia’s Heath Ledger won’t be picking up his Best Supporting Actor award this year.) Oh, but don’t worry: last year’s winners will still get to open the envelope and announce who won.

So much for this year’s Academy Awards shaping up as the most international ever: AMPAS is truly concerned that Americans don’t care about Bollywood’s Slumdog Millionaire, the shoo-in for Best Picture, its director Danny Boyle for Best Director and other 2009 honors. Even the choice of host this year, Australia’s Hugh Jackman, was intended to pump up the overseas interest in the Oscars. But on Friday, people close to the X-Men and upcoming Wolverine star still felt the need to release a viral video on YouTube of a very buff Jackman, his biceps bulging, making fun of the jokes from previous Oscar hosts as he rehearsed a song-and-dance number with a Top Hat and cane. (Oh, that’ll bring the under-24 demo back in front of their TVs.)

Recent Comments

Some of you need a dose of reality. It's not Hollywood that's out of touch, it's America...

James

5 years

PK, what have you done for America lately ? At least movies pump billions into the economy.

James

5 years

Jon, they contribute their movies which pump billions into the global economy. What do you contribute to...

And the fact that so many Oscar categories have been locked in since December, and therefore marquee nominees like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie locked out for months, have only added to the anxiety among organizers. They even tried, and failed, to convince celebrity publicists to bring clients around to a side entrance at the Kodak Theatre instead of onto the Red Carpet Sunday in order to keep secret what the stars would be wearing so it could be a surprise for the telecast. Like, duh, the arrivals’ fashion show (this year with commentary by Project Runway’s Tim Gunn) are considered by many to be the broadcast’s best part.

One new idea thought up by the producers that will be seen Sunday? Trophy boys. The result is that very handsome young men will now join very beautiful young women on stage carrying out the Oscar statuettes. If that’s not an acknowledgement that viewership for the Academy Awards these days is limited to only females and gays, I don’t know what is.

Meanwhile, a group of online bloggers has led an audience boycott of the Oscars among the predominantly male fans of The Dark Knight because of the Academy voters’ snub of the $1 billion-in-worldwide-grosses comic book caper for a Best Picture nomination and its Chris Nolan for Best Director. And that’s yet another problem that hurts viewership: this year, too, the most popular movies aren’t in contention for the major category Academy Awards. That drives away younger viewers. So it’s little wonder that ABC in this economic freefall scrambled to drop prices for 30-second ads and replace two of the key sponsors for its Sunday broadcast, General Motors and L’Oreal. Not even the prospect of 30+ million U.S. viewers could lure advertisers who’ve cut their TV budgets to the bone. Prices for Oscars spots averaged $1.7 million last year, but now are going for as cheap as $1.4 million. The result is that, in a departure from tradition, parent company Walt Disney had to let its rival movie studios buy time on the telecast.

907 Comments

The Wizard • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

The problem is, there are NO GOOD MOVIES anymore, just crap! Why would any care what wins, there is no creativity left in Hollywood,they just keep grinding out bad, bad, no…God awful movies. And who are these people? I watch the news…there are so many 15 minute-famers….and no one cares!!!! Where is the integrity, where is the creativity? Where are the real writers? I watch movies from the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s. The rest…except for Peter Jackson and perhaps the Harry Potter series, doesn’t give one pause. Does anyone read the scripts? There are so many good books out there that would make remarkable films. Instead we have no-name actors in terrible movies. Enough, I am being redundant. Please, someone save us!

James • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

The wizard, there many good movies but most of them are small indie films. TDK was a good mainstream film and one of the few. Try watching The Reader. Slumdog, Wendy and Lucy or any other great smart films for grown ups. No name actors in terrible movies ?? Daniel Day Lewis is not a huge star yet is a great actor who does great films, you seriously need to watch more movies because you have no clue what you are talking about.

The Wizard • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

PS: The Dark Knight was awful; Sean Penn should be exiled from Hollywood permanently and the rest are just boring.

Felicitous • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Do you know who cares about the Oscars and Grammys? Entertainment Reporters. That’s it. Nobody else cares in the slightest.

I can’t wait until this garbage fades away.

James • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Your comments are so full of bitterness and envy. Pleny of peopel care about the Oscars, what it comes down to is the artists themselves, the oscars are about artists appreciating other artists. It’s not their fault your life sucks.

Rafael A. Prieto • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

The fact of the matter is that Hollywood “stars” are over-hyped. I have not watched the Oscars for years….

Greg • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Use to love watching the Oscars, when to stars were grateful to viewing public. Now these so called stars behave very differently to the public that allows them the perks of being famous. I say let the Oscars die and let the movie industry turn out movies. The ones that are good will do extremely well and the trash will just remain trash. Where are the Duke’s , Jimmy’s, and Katherine’s when you need them. They had class!

Red • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Yeah, it will be boring because Oscar-attending celebutards won’t bash “their guy” who currently resides in the oval office, due to their own political affiliations with him, as well as being labeled racist if they dare make a joke at his expense.

Jim • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

If Mickey Rourke does not get Best Actor, then we will no it’s political and rigged…and will never watch again.

George Glass • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Maybe I’m remembering it wrong but I didn’t think Hugh Jackman was snubbing a previous host, Letterman, but rather saying he didn’t want to get stuck with a joke that bombed. And while I personally thought the Uma/Oprah joke was funny, it’s become the most legendary joke that bombed in the history of the Awards. Partially because Letterman himself kept bringing it up for years afterward.

If no one watches who cares? ABC is bummed but those who are fans of the show or in the industry will still watch this industry award show. Why does it have to be the biggest show on Earth anyway? That’s what the World Cup is for.

Tuptim • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

WHAT is so hard about presenting at an award show? Are Jolie and Winslet that coddled and afraid to perform live for 45 seconds?! Katherine Heigl almost had a coronary up there last year. Jeez just shut up and do it!

scott payne • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

I stopped watching the Oscars about five years ago after all the hatred spewed out by actors toward G.W. Bush and Republicans too. They can have ‘em.

steve • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Hollywood doesn’t see a need to show up, since Bush isn’t around to bash.

Jim • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Here’s a thought; why not make the 2010 Oscars a Pay-Per-View event? Since academy members are the only ones that can vote and since it appears academy member’s tastes do not match the general public in any way, then let the adademy members pay their own money to watch themselves patting each other on the back.

Anybody else with any interest could tune in too. Throw in a cage match and a couple of fist fights among audience members. Ratings would soar!

“The award goes to… whoever gets to the stage first! GO!”

wombatface • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

The Oscars are so over!!! I don’t know of anyone who watches this annual parade of narcissistic overpaid nitwits all congratulating themselves. It’s enough to make you hurl!

cole • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

I haven’t been able to care about the Academy Award presentations for at least two decades. The only bits I really appreciated anyway were when winners went on forever and made asses of themselves, but when they started to shut down the sound of the winners I was out. Also, movies pretty much suck anyway and the “stars” should really run for political office rather than “act” for film. Poor ABC is stuck with the archaic and dated show.

Don • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Hollywood has totally turned me off – their politics, their product. I won’t be watching the oscars or their movies. You Tube is tons better – if I have time for that. The whole arrogant bunch bore me. Let them give their awards to each other and convince themselves they are relevant.

James • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Don, sweetheart they are still relevant(like it or not). They make their millions, have legions of fans and their movies still make money. 2008 was the highest grossing box office year ever. Get over it.

Dave • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

The reason no one watches is pretty clear cut: they don’t nominate the movies the public likes. The Academy is out of touch with America. Year after year they nominate films no has seen or heard of. Maybe they are better films, but they can’t expect the prestige and viewers they had in their heyday if they don’t don’t share the sensibilities of those viewers. They keep going like this they’ll be relegated to some basic cable channel.

Anonymous • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Hollywood no longer has any actor/actress who qualifies as a star. All the men look like hoboes and the girls look like street walkers.

James • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

No self respecting actor or actress gets in that business to be a mega star, they do it because they love acting. Only crappy actors care about being “stars”.

Dr. Botkin • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Year after year they give awards to each other. In recent years, the more obscure, the more anti-culture, the more degenerate, the more anti-American the actors and the picturee, as far was the useless Hollyuood trash is concered, the better. And they can’t understand why increasinly, decent Americans are turning them off. The perverts are irrelevant, and they are too full of their worthless selves to realize it.

James • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Sorry to burst your bubble Doc but we are irrelevant, they are not. 2008 was the higest grossing box office year ever.

People are turning off awards shows because of bitterness, they have crappy lives and are tired of seeing rich people patting themselves on the back.

Doug • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

All these challenges could have been solved with a single addition…Billy Crystal.

Oh and maybe a few movies PEOPLE LIKED!!!!

Sid • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Hollywood has become more and more divorced from the average person every year. They lecture us and tell us they are superior to us, and yet we are expected to watch their silly ceremony with movies we’ve never heard of before.
Tough s**t Hollywood—you are a joke.

James • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

Sid, only the sponsers and the producers care about crap like ratings. The actual artists care about recognizing each other’s great artistic accomplishments. Yes the general public has not heard of most of the films because most Oscar type films are smart and high brow and are indie style or artsy, the public just wants mindless crap like transformers.

Bob • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

The Oscars are no longer celebtrating movies. They have become a Narcissitic creation to allow Actors to celebrate their passion. If it were truly the best picture, wouldn’t it have grossed in the top 10 for the year?
Change the rules so that to be nominated, a picture must appear in 5,000 theatres (what is a good number for this?) for 2 weeks.

Any movie not qualifying will be nominated in a new category, Best limited release or Best art house film,

This will give viewers a reason to watch as they might actually have seen some of the movies. Not the limited released art flicks up for nomination this year that really only were shown in a few theaters at the end of the year just to qualify.

Just an idea.

steve • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

It’s the LIBERALISM..stupid!

Brandon in San Diego • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

As an outsider to the entertainment industry, this is kinda interesting news. Personally, I don’t think the Batman movie was worthy of a Best Picture nomination.. too long. I recall while watching having the persistent question on my mind, “When is this thing ending?” Additionally, some of the action scenes were beyond ridiculous. However, kudoos to the makers of the movie for busting $1billion!

below the line • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

I wonder if the powers that be at the acadamy know about tevo that’s how I watch and I speed through the comercials and the song and dance crap it really is about the dresses , on Monday at work no one is going to be talking about who won what but who was in what designers clothes!!

8moviesfiveplays • on Feb 21, 2009 2:30 pm

I’m listening to this behind the scenes feed from the Spirit Awards, it’s really interesting not seeing the audience clap nor the stars accept that angel statute. ( I don’t have cable)
It’s more in-depth and intense then the award show itself. ( I saw it on cable last year)

It appears the after award interviews are really interesting then seeing someone you don’t know accept a piece of metal. Perhaps the Oscars should try that, a live feed behind the scenes, that way we can look at the free broadcast and laugh our assess off online as the stars continue to thank more people we don’t know.

Another idea, how about cameras/mikes at the Oscar bar, that way we could pretend we are drinking with the stars and pop a bottle of champagne, just for the fun of it.

I’m not gay or a woman, and the only reason I watch the Oscars is for the cleavage ( wear something revealing P. Cruz and Ms. Hayek let’s try breast feeding on ABC). So having buxom models walk out with golden orbs, no pun intended, may keep me watching past best supporting actor. Other then that since little Nicky is not going on stage this year, I see myself watching the Dark Knight, if these ***** don’t give Heath the Oscar. Which I kind of doubt they will.