Sometimes, when I have nothing else to distract me, I think about what it could be like to have a normal life.

Is there such a thing?

Normal is there to make us feel lonely and inadequate. Knowing that doesn't stop me from feeling it.

On the other hand, is normal ordinary. I don't think I want to be that. I want my life to be profound. I've been told my whole life that my life is going to be special. A firework rather than a sparkler. They would be disappointed right now.

I certainly am.

Maybe we're all trapped by the human condition.

I need to break out of my own head.

I need to wake my sleep study patient up now so I'll stop trawling the depths of graveyard shift existentialism rubbish.