Michael Lohan Sold Nude Photos of Kate Major (Allegedly)

Because there’s no better way to say “Sorry for kicking you in the face,” Michael Lohan has allegedly been shopping around nude photos of his ex-fiancee Kate Major (above) which she tells Popeater were taken without her knowledge. More importantly, I did not add the Charlie Tuna on the third pic, so don’t expect it to disappear. And now all that stuff about a heinous violation of privacy:

“Michael Lohan is a disgusting human being and father. He took these pictures of me when I was asleep and without my knowledge. At the time he was my fiancé. I have just found out about these images today and moving forward my lawyer, William O’Conner, will be handing the legalities of anyone that reproduces them.”

While I’d love to take that legal threat seriously and believe Michael Lohan is depraved enough to pull a stunt like this, it’s also a well-known fact Kate Major is a starfucker who’s been trying to land her own reality show since the first time she sat on Jon Gosselin’s penis and told his kids to go make her a wallet. Which is why I expect a Thank You card when she’s on Bravo in three months because of these and somehow Lindsay’s dad’s her producer because it was all “a big misunderstanding.” (That’s right, folks, psychic and handsome.)