JOE MONTANA IS LOOKIN’ GOOD, SUING

Legendary quarterback Joe Montana is suing his ex-wife for auctioning off love letters and various thingamajigs from his college days at Notre Dame. From The Smoking Gun:

Montana, 51, claims that the sale of the assorted items–which were auctioned last weekend by a Dallas, Texas firm–violated his copyright and privacy rights. In a U.S. District Court complaint, Montana names Kim Moses, his first wife, and Heritage Auction as defendants. As seen on the following pages, the collectibles offered for sale (which apparently were consigned by Moses, the athlete's hometown sweetheart) included Montana's freshman I.D. card; the Moses-Montana 1974 marriage certificate; a letter to Moses penned on a Ziggy card; an "I Love You" note; and a letter Montana wrote to Moses's parents describing his first year on the Notre Dame football squad.

In what is probably just the sweetest thing ever, the Ziggy card has Ziggy sitting by himself on a teeter-totter, and Joe (aka "JoJo" in the love note) made sure that Ziggy had a thought bubble that says, "I miss you!" Poor Ziggy. Always so lonely. Someone oughta take him to the strip club. Nothing cheers up friendless losers like a lap dance.