I have a question for the women divers. I have recently met a female diver whom I have dove with a few times. She is fun to dive with and even more fun to hang out with. I get the feeling that she is interested in more than diving and I feel the same. Being we are both single and unattached, Is there anything in the rule book about asking you dive buddy out ? If I'm misreading the situation I am concerned what it might do to our diving relationship. But at the same time, I would really like to get to know this person better. We are both about the same age and far from puberty, so I know it's not a lust thing.

The feed back from you ladies will be appreciated. And you men also are invited to reply.

cummings66

11-14-2008, 15:58

Nothing in the rule book about it, ask her out but if she says no you may find that things might be a tad awkward.

As to age and lust, age ain't got nothing to do with it. As long as the gear works lust can be there, thus the randy ole geezer saying.

If it was me and I was single, I'd ask her out.

gNats

11-14-2008, 16:05

Ask her out!

awap

11-14-2008, 16:05

I saw story once about THIS; and THAT. It should be possible but just be careful you don't mess up THIS with THAT. Good dive buddies can be hard to find.

Good Luck.

TRACI

11-14-2008, 16:07

Ask her out. Atleast you already know you have diving already in common. I would think that you could still remain dive buddies, even if her feelings are different. Like is too short to stress about "What if's?"

dallasdivergirl

11-14-2008, 16:10

do you have a way to ask her out but not ask her out so that way if she says no it's not so awkard?

Zenagirl

11-14-2008, 16:13

Why not plan some diving with lunch or dinner afterward?? Or breakfast before a dive??

gNats

11-14-2008, 16:30

Why not plan some diving with lunch or dinner afterward?? Or breakfast before a dive??

If you want to know how she feels without coming out and asking "will you be my girlfriend"

as her to a really nice dinner and maybe a play or some non-traditional Friday night date.

Something that doesn't have anything to do with diving and requires some forethought and planning.

Ask her in a way that she knows you are specifically choosing to be with her and it is not merely convenient hanging out as friends stuff.

(within your allowed budget of course)

She will then know you don't want to HANG OUT. It is special. If she asks what's the occassion, say you want to get to know you better without neoprene. Something witty, but that your intentions are on her.

Us chicks dig that stuff.

If she is not all the receptive to dating you, she will politely beg off, because us chicks don't want to get entangled in something we are not excited about. (Quid Pro Quo - If she isn't available on the day you suggest, that's fair. Find out if she is not interested or not available because of other issues at that time).

And, you probably don't want to tell her about the board. HAHAHAHA or is she on it and maybe she will answer you here?

Better find out if she knows about us!

Largo

11-14-2008, 16:30

It all depends on your certifying agency.

PADI: You have to take the "Dive-Buddy Dating Specialty Course." It's $50, but it's good for life, not just one specific dive buddy.

I think it is great to meet someone while enjoying a hobby you both love. So don't waste the possibility. Nothing risked, nothing gained.

I'd suggest just asking her to join you for an evening meal, movie, or coffee when you are NOT diving. Grab the check. See how that goes. Then I'd move on to gNats' suggestion, something more "special".

I personally am comfortable with some candor and discussion if things don't become clear one way or the other. Women like to be valued as more than a POA anyway, so if you start with how much you enjoy having her as a dive buddy and friend, then pose the question of whether or not she sees any potential beyond that, me thinks you would still end up with a dive buddy at the very least.

I'd love to meet a fellow diving. It would be a fun thing to share with someone. But diving is your first common denominator, so just tread carefully to preserve that while you are exploring the "single" part.

gNats

11-14-2008, 16:52

I personally am comfortable with some candor and discussion if things don't become clear one way or the other. Women like to be valued as more than a POA anyway, so if you start with how much you enjoy having her as a dive buddy and friend, then pose the question of whether or not she sees any potential beyond that, me thinks you would still end up with a dive buddy at the very least.

well put. I was wondering how to explain it without saying the corny highschool, can we go steady? line.

Lulubelle

11-14-2008, 16:58

I've been dating a long time. It is sad to me when opportunities aren't taken or when they are botched by too much pressure or awkward moves. A little gentle conversation is far better than a kiss that wasn't well received. Two of my closest friends now are guys that I thought were terrific but I didn't want to date. But I have also shied away from taking the risk when I was interested in a friend, the southern girl in me just can't make the first move.

scubatam

11-14-2008, 16:59

I agree 100% with Lulubelle, ask her out! IF she enjoys diving w/ you, I bet she'd getting to know you better over a nice meal.
By the way, congrats for being a "gentleman".

fire diver

11-14-2008, 17:19

I have a question for the women divers. I have recently met a female diver whom I have dove with a few times. She is fun to dive with and even more fun to hang out with. I get the feeling that she is interested in more than diving and I feel the same. Being we are both single and unattached, Is there anything in the rule book about asking you dive buddy out ? If I'm misreading the situation I am concerned what it might do to our diving relationship. But at the same time, I would really like to get to know this person better. We are both about the same age and far from puberty, so I know it's not a lust thing.

The feed back from you ladies will be appreciated. And you men also are invited to reply.

Jeez, I can't believe I'm posting in the cootie forum... :smiley11:

All joking aside, you have gotten a lot of great advice so far.

My adive is to go for it. I waisted too many years and missed too many opportunities becuase I was too scared to ask a girl out for date. Don't look back on this years from now and wonder "what if". The worst you can do is say "at least I tried".

I can understand your hesitation. I used to be the biggest coward when it came to women. Hell, I had to get married just so I wouldn't have to go through asking for dates again! Thats a joke there...

Oh lordy, now where has that man-card dissapeared to.... I need to go kill something, too much cyber-estrogen today.

James1010

11-14-2008, 18:12

Don't ask her out! If she says no it will be okward to go diving again. She will think your checking out her hind end when you are diving with her. Let it play out my friend. If she is interested it will happen. Be careful not to ruin a great thing with okwardness.

gNats

11-14-2008, 18:36

Jeez, I can't believe I'm posting in the cootie forum... :smiley11:

Oh lordy, now where has that man-card dissapeared to.... I need to go kill something, too much cyber-estrogen today.

Did you bring with you a reel to help find your way out of the deep dark girly cavern?

Methinks we are going to have to install one of those special "break glass in case of" cases and pump you full of beer for when you do wander in here too deep.

fire diver

11-14-2008, 18:54

That's what's wrong..... I forgot to run my line. Fortunately I left a trail of bullets and beer cans. As long as some other guy hasnt followed me in picking them up along the way.

gNats

11-14-2008, 19:09

That's what's wrong..... I forgot to run my line. Fortunately I left a trail of bullets and beer cans. As long as some other guy hasnt followed me in picking them up along the way.

Hey, You are in the Chick's Forum. You'll be lucky one of us didn't clean up behind you, nattering the whole time about men and the way they leave things laying around!

Did you put the seat down, btw?

LOL.:smilie39:

fire diver

11-14-2008, 19:23

That's what's wrong..... I forgot to run my line. Fortunately I left a trail of bullets and beer cans. As long as some other guy hasnt followed me in picking them up along the way.

Hey, You are in the Chick's Forum. You'll be lucky one of us didn't clean up behind you, nattering the whole time about men and the way they leave things laying around!

Did you put the seat down, btw?

LOL.:smilie39:

AHHHHH!!!! I 'm trapped in the estrogen forum!!! Rescue diver!! HELP HELP!!

Just kidding ladies. My past experience has shown me that all I need to do is make a big enough mess and I'll get kicked out. :smiley2:

Largo

11-14-2008, 19:24

Let's keep focused on the issue at hand.

Your dive buddy is just like you. She would like to have some companionship in this comic-tragedy called life. She doesn't care about what you look like, or whether you suffer from seasonal belly expansion. She will find some reason to adore you; your crooked smile, or that you open the door for her, or because of the toppings you choose for your pizza. Trust me...she will find something.

Don't let us guys ruin it for you. Go for it.

firemedic8082

11-14-2008, 19:54

I can definately add to the go for it list. You dont want to wait and when you get ready to go for its too late....but be ready for "just friends" too.

divingbuddy

11-14-2008, 20:38

That is how my wife and I started out - we met on our OW weekend, started diving together as part of a group of new divers/friends, started dating, and are now very happily married. She is still my favourite dive buddy.

Just my two cents...Go for it!

James1010

11-14-2008, 20:41

I would wait until you know for sure if she is really interested. Ask a friend on the issue and see what they say, I have had some close friends who I thought where interested in me a long time ago but were not. Just great friends. Do like I said and wait!! ha ha

fire diver

11-14-2008, 20:46

I would wait until you know for sure if she is really interested. Ask a friend on the issue and see what they say, I have had some close friends who I thought where interested in me a long time ago but were not. Just great friends. Do like I said and wait!! ha ha

Yeah....... that's like straight out of junior high.

Ask her.

Skuttle

11-14-2008, 21:50

Nothing ventured is nothing gained. You have gotten some great input and there really isn't much more to be said. You seem to be one of the few "gentlemen" that are left in the world and if she didn't give you a chance to show that to her, than her bad. ( hope that came out correctly) Of course granting she is not all ready involved with someone.

Largo

11-14-2008, 22:00

I would wait until you know for sure if she is really interested. Ask a friend on the issue and see what they say, I have had some close friends who I thought where interested in me a long time ago but were not. Just great friends. Do like I said and wait!! ha ha

Yeah....... that's like straight out of junior high.

Ask her.

Continuing along that line. You could ask her to the 9th grade dance, and arrange it with the D.J. that when he sees you dancing with her, he would then play "Forever Young" by AlphaVille. And like, when the singer sings, "Let's dance in style, let's dance for awhile, heaven can wait, we're only watching the sky's, are they gonna drop the bomb or not?" you could plant one on her. That is to say, plant one kiss on her...not plant a bomb on her.

Splitlip

11-14-2008, 22:00

I have a question for the women divers. I have recently met a female diver whom I have dove with a few times. She is fun to dive with and even more fun to hang out with. I get the feeling that she is interested in more than diving and I feel the same. Being we are both single and unattached, Is there anything in the rule book about asking you dive buddy out ? If I'm misreading the situation I am concerned what it might do to our diving relationship. But at the same time, I would really like to get to know this person better. We are both about the same age and far from puberty, so I know it's not a lust thing.

The feed back from you ladies will be appreciated. And you men also are invited to reply.

I will not be as kind as the others.

If you have to ask, you need to turn in your man card. I bet you already know the answer.:smiley2:

Largo

11-14-2008, 22:11

You can learn everything that you need to know about women by watching two John Wayne movies.

1. The Quiet Man

2. McLintock!

fire diver

11-15-2008, 01:35

I thought you could learn everything about women by watching "Thunderball".

shawnwill36

11-15-2008, 10:13

get her drunk!!!! then you wont have to ask her out

kingsolo

11-15-2008, 11:19

I must say, I did learn everything I needed to know about women from The Quiet Man! LOL!

My advice, do it! You are the only person who is going to make things awkward if he/she shoots you down. I hate the fact that people think things have to go awkward. In all actuallity, if you don't ask, things are going to get awkward. You are constantly going to be looking at the situation and thinking if now is the right time to ask and constanly evaluating the things he/she says to see if there is a "hidden" meaning.

I think the best idea posted was to meet for breakfast before a day of diving. Less people and you can always play it off as a "non-date" if you get the brush off. If the breakfast goes well, move to dinner & a movie, but make sure you wait 3 days! (Had to throw in a Swingers reference in there!) :)

Have fun & good luck!

Largo

11-15-2008, 11:21

I thought you could learn everything about women by watching "Thunderball".

Close. But, I believe that you are thinking of the movie "Beyond Thunderdome." Very enlightening as to the psyche of the fairer sex.

gNats

11-15-2008, 11:25

I thought you could learn everything about women by watching "Thunderball".

Close. But, I believe that you are thinking of the movie "Beyond Thunderdome." Very enlightening as to the psyche of the fairer sex.

Yeah, but what would Chuck Norris do in this situation?

Largo

11-15-2008, 11:28

Chuck only dates women who compete in his Ultimate Combat League.

James1010

11-15-2008, 12:07

TRW we need more details. How long have you been diving together? How often do you guys hang out as a group of friends and how much do you guys spend in a one on one atmosphere? Also what has been giving you the vibe that she is interested in you? I am on a mission to help you! I have woman on standby with advice!

BuzzF117

11-15-2008, 14:54

I have a question for the women divers. I have recently met a female diver whom I have dove with a few times. She is fun to dive with and even more fun to hang out with. I get the feeling that she is interested in more than diving and I feel the same. Being we are both single and unattached, Is there anything in the rule book about asking you dive buddy out ? If I'm misreading the situation I am concerned what it might do to our diving relationship. But at the same time, I would really like to get to know this person better. We are both about the same age and far from puberty, so I know it's not a lust thing.

The feed back from you ladies will be appreciated. And you men also are invited to reply.

Ok please tell me you didn't just ask this question? Ok that aside, just ask and don't him haw around show some backbone and ASK.

scubastud

11-15-2008, 17:24

TRW your post is USELESS without a picture of her.

Splitlip

11-15-2008, 19:01

Chuck only dates women who compete in his Ultimate Combat League.

Kind of. Chuck does not date. He allows women to exist in his presence.

MConnelly2

11-16-2008, 09:25

Okay, I see a few man-cards in here that need to be PERMANENTLY rescinded. So far the only one to give the answer a man should was gNats (!). ("...start with dinner and end with breakfast.")

Give it hell. What's the worst that can happen? Ask her out, worst case, she says no. Why does anything need to be awkward after that? Have to look at it as if it's her loss if she doesn't want to date (the old 'I'm not a sociopath, you're just all idiots and getting in my way' theory, a favorite of mine, gets me through every day). She says no, then tell her that she can't fault you for trying, and make plans with her for the next dive. Then go drink beer with your buddies and get bad drunken advice, drink far too much and make an embarassing midnight drunk-dialed phone call to her.

There you have it, problem solved.

And for a few of you, leave your man card at the door.

Navy OnStar

11-16-2008, 10:13

The real question is what kind of gear does she have!!!!!!!!! If it does go anywhere and her gear is better than yours, you have a reason to upgrade to new stuff!

IrishSquid

11-16-2008, 10:22

I will not be as kind as the others.
If you have to ask, you need to turn in your man card. I bet you already know the answer.:smiley2:
Seconded!

get her drunk!!!! then you wont have to ask her out
I motion we give this member a Platinum Man Card! :smilie39:

Merrimorte

11-16-2008, 10:24

Yup I would agree, nothing ventured is nothing gained!

Be sure she really isn't involved with someone else though. Boy would that be embarrassing!

I would ask her out without getting all into the "feelings" thing. Just go out have a good time.. and see what develops. Read the body language. and yeah something witty about why you asked her would be good too.

James1010

11-16-2008, 12:50

I take it from you not posting anymore on here you went ahead and asked the big question.. So what happened!? Don't leave us in the dark, what did she say?

Splitlip

11-16-2008, 14:02

I will not be as kind as the others.
If you have to ask, you need to turn in your man card. I bet you already know the answer.:smiley2:
Seconded!

get her drunk!!!! then you wont have to ask her out
I motion we give this member a Platinum Man Card! :smilie39:

+1:smiley20:

TRW

11-16-2008, 17:32

WOW ......thanks for all the replies. And yes I did ask her out and no, she didn't turn me down. We are going to try and dive later in the week and then do dinner. We are both very busy people and our time is limited. As many other in Scuba Toys Forum know, scuba diving can become very important to a person, sometimes to the point of obsession. That is the case for her and I both. Hence the reason for the hesitation. For the member who wanted to see her picture, I can assure you she is a very beautiful "person" not to mention being very physically attractive.

To ONSTAR......She has Aires gear and I have Oceanic, both purchased in the last year.......she however just laid down some $$$ for a new DUI drysuit. I will have to crawl in the suit with her just make sure it is warm. Joking of course. And to all you that called me a gentleman.........thank you very much and a big hug to ya.

Terry
aka TRW

Largo

11-16-2008, 19:50

Getting her drunk is still probably a good idea.

MConnelly2

11-17-2008, 12:37

Getting her drunk is still probably a good idea.

You know, I think I could get along with this guy. Sounds like something any one of the people I used to drink with would say (sober again nowadays, and damn, is it boring.)

No Misses

11-17-2008, 13:14

Why not plan some diving with lunch or dinner afterward?? Or breakfast before a dive??

If you want to know how she feels without coming out and asking "will you be my girlfriend"

as her to a really nice dinner and maybe a play or some non-traditional Friday night date.

Something that doesn't have anything to do with diving and requires some forethought and planning.

Ask her in a way that she knows you are specifically choosing to be with her and it is not merely convenient hanging out as friends stuff.

(within your allowed budget of course)

She will then know you don't want to HANG OUT. It is special. If she asks what's the occassion, say you want to get to know you better without neoprene. Something witty, but that your intentions are on her.

Us chicks dig that stuff.

If she is not all the receptive to dating you, she will politely beg off, because us chicks don't want to get entangled in something we are not excited about. (Quid Pro Quo - If she isn't available on the day you suggest, that's fair. Find out if she is not interested or not available because of other issues at that time).

And, you probably don't want to tell her about the board. HAHAHAHA or is she on it and maybe she will answer you here?

Better find out if she knows about us!

gNats, I like the way you think. Come on down to sunny FL and I'll fix you breakfast.

MSilvia

11-17-2008, 13:32

Something that doesn't have anything to do with diving and requires some forethought and planning.

She will then know you don't want to HANG OUT.
Great advice gNats! If you're doing a buddy activity, she might not realize you have any romantic intent. That can be frustrating and ackward, which is exactly what you want to avoid.

mike_s

11-17-2008, 14:08

I will not be as kind as the others.

If you have to ask, you need to turn in your man card. I bet you already know the answer.:smiley2:

:smilie39:

I thought you could learn everything about women by watching "Thunderball".

heh... that was on SPIKE TV last night!

KennyD

11-17-2008, 15:50

Getting her drunk is still probably a good idea.

This is the first thing I thought of....TEQUILA. Then you can eat some Tacos.

hychang

11-17-2008, 16:04

Terry, glad to hear you did ask her out. Better yet, I'm happy for you that she accepted. I would need to look for my man-card as well. Good thing I'm married and don't have to worry about this. Best of luck to you and your dive buddy.:smiley_braveheart:

WOW ......thanks for all the replies. And yes I did ask her out and no, she didn't turn me down. We are going to try and dive later in the week and then do dinner. We are both very busy people and our time is limited. As many other in Scuba Toys Forum know, scuba diving can become very important to a person, sometimes to the point of obsession. That is the case for her and I both. Hence the reason for the hesitation. For the member who wanted to see her picture, I can assure you she is a very beautiful "person" not to mention being very physically attractive.

Terry
aka TRW

teerlkay

11-20-2008, 14:14

I married my dive buddy. Best move I ever made! We both have such a passion for diving - I love that we share it together!

Gilligan

11-20-2008, 15:25

When I first read this... given it was in the "women's" section. I thought TRW was a female... I thought, wow, that is either really brave or this is a REALLY progressive forum. :)

Oh well, either way I'm happy for your... my SO has a LOT of similar interest as me and it's GREAT... she likes Disc Golf, computers and now we are getting into scuba... wouldn't want it any other way!

Good luck!

Splitlip

11-20-2008, 19:35

Terry, glad to hear you did ask her out. Better yet, I'm happy for you that she accepted. I would need to look for my man-card as well.

Did you check your wife's purse?

Or maybe it is pinned to the wall with the rest of your junk.:smiley36:

Largo

11-20-2008, 19:43

I'm not attracted to my Dive Buddy, 'cause he's a dude. But, I am attracted to SplitLip's daughter, in his avatar photo. Maybe it's time for a new avatar. I'm just saying.

Largo

11-20-2008, 19:44

I only posted it, because you needed to hear it from a friend.

Splitlip

11-20-2008, 19:50

I only posted it, because you needed to hear it from a friend.
:smilie39:

MysteryGirl

11-27-2008, 22:56

Why not plan some diving with lunch or dinner afterward?? Or breakfast before a dive??

Good answer and it would settle things once and for all. Arrange a dive and then leave time to grab a bite to eat afterward. Make sure she has several hours set aside so she can free time in her schedule.

If you feel attraction, chances are she does too. It usually isn't a one way thing and I'm betting she wants you to ask her out - she's just as hesitant as you.

Age has nothing to do with it, and when there's attraction - all of the parts work.

MysteryGirl

11-27-2008, 23:05

Getting her drunk is still probably a good idea.

This is the first thing I thought of....TEQUILA. Then you can eat some Tacos.

You were probably waiting for this:

Typical Man .... or um.... Typical unsure Man.

hooligan

11-28-2008, 00:10

Getting her drunk is still probably a good idea.

I find most things in life are better when viewed through the "beer haze." It makes bad memories not so bad and good memories great! At least until your liver dies...