Sunday, 11 September 2016

He's just not that into you | The signs to look out for

I have made some pretty shocking decisions in my life. I thought I could shake off the pain of a broken arm when I was 8, I’ve been involved with many fuck boys, I even chucked my cat in my swimming pool when I was 6 to see if she could swim – of course she freaked the hell out and burst my Barbie paddling pool. But my biggest mistake is sticking around with a guy who just wasn’t that into me.

I realised after a while that he wasn’t that into me, as in I wasn’t ‘relationship worthy’ but I was fine for everything else, but he had a banging body and my mother liked him so you know I carried on pretending to ignore the friend zone he was pretty much slapping me across the face with.

Personally, I think the signs of ‘He’s just not that into you’ should be taught in schools to save us all from heartbreak and gaining a stone and a half after stuffing your face with Ben and Jerry’s but don’t worry, I will be the light in your life and teach you the ways.

No soppyness allowed

If every time a soppy conversation pops up and he avoids it he’s just not that into you. You say something along the lines of ‘I like you’, ‘where is this going?’ or pay him any compliments and he changes the conversation, goes awkward or just blatantly avoids answering then you need to run out the door, pick up your knickers on the way and save your dignity.

Lack of interest

When we first meet someone we like we want to know every single god damn thing about them. Their most embarrassing story, their odd habits, their cat’s name, there isn’t a detail we don’t want to find out. We’re intrigued with that person and if he is not intrigued he is not that into you. If he doesn’t pay attention to your stories, if he doesn’t ask you questions about your life then I’m really sorry but he’s just not that into you. I went on a date and told him I write about sex in my spare time and he didn’t ask me any questions about it, not even if I spit or swallow. I know I’m not exactly curing cancer but c’mon at least raise an eyebrow.

Vice versa

Vice versa if he doesn’t open up about himself and tell you how he once had a pint with David Beckham, or how he once won a fight against a robber on his way home from soccer practise then he really doesn’t give a shit.

The dreaded gut feeling

We’re not complete idiot’s ladies. In fact, we are technically magical humans compared to men as we have the power of the gut feeling. The sixth sense that hits our core and screams at us – yet we ignore it. If your gut feeling is telling you that something is wrong then bloody listen to it.

The boner dilemma

This one is pretty obvious but if he is having a hard time getting it up every time you have sex, he’s just not that into you. Luckily for me, this was the one sign he didn’t give me if you know what I mean ladies.

Have you ever been in this situation? What happened and how did you find out he wasn’t interested?

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