‘Three of my kids are not mine’

In the home of the Akinwoles (not real name), life was blissful. The couple were the quintessential inseparable duo. The children, well behaved. But that was until a fortnight ago when a fight broke out.

The wife, Jovita, who for the 11 years of their idyllic matrimony fondly called her husband ‘Mine’, used despicable adjectives to describe him. The husband, Yemi, who was seething with anger, threatened to beat her up. He wanted her to take the four children he tagged ‘bastards’ out of his life for good.

The situation was practically out of control at the time this reporter met the husband, who was willing to blow the lid off the cover of his wife . It took the persuasion of a few of their male neighbours to calm him.

A victim, his story

Akinwole: “Before now, I had always been concerned each time, particularly, two of my children would be sick and we had to take them to the hospital. My wife would naturally act the good, caring mother and tell me not to worry that she would handle it. At first, it did not bother me. But as time went on, I would discuss with her that the children might think that I do not care about them and they would take to you more than me. But trust my wife to readily assure me that she had explained to the children and that she was just doing her natural duty as a wife and mother. Ours was what you would call a good family, no doubt. Again, I was always protective of the peace and love in our home. The children knew I loved their mom. They could see our unity. And I always reminded them that it required sacrifice on each of our parts. I work hard to fend for my family and she knows I never joke with that.

“But, I believe it is God that does not want my efforts to go in vain who made the very sickly one among the children very sick at a time my wife was not around and I had to handle the situation. It was not long after I got home from the office on this particular day that the child slumped and would have died when the other children shouted ‘daddy, daddy, Toke has fainted!’ I dropped what I was doing and ran to her, picked up my car keys and rushed her to the hospital. I got to our private hospital, and the family doctor said that the child was anaemic. So, I asked what was to be done and he said we had to give him blood. Fortunately, for me, the mother was not around. I know that if she was, she would have pressured me to just go for the blood bank. And I actually tried to call her but communication network was awful as usual. So, I called our eldest child to keep trying the mother until he got her. Obviously, he too tried fruitlessly. Back to the doctor, I asked if I could donate blood to set the child on a resuscitation course. The doctor gave his consent. Few minutes later, he called me into his office and told me that he could not give the child my blood because we don’t match. I laughed at the doctor and said that was not possible. He said well it’s his job and he wouldn’t trifle with such an expensive incident when it had to do with life. So, as a man, I begged him to do what he could. We then resorted to a blood bank and I paid all that was necessary. All the while, I kept calling our home. My wife was not back. So, I told the other children to lock up the house and meet me at the hospital. I told them our need and they all volunteered to give blood to their sibling.

“The children are 10, eight, six and four. It is the six-year-old that was sick. So, samples of the ten, eight and four year old were taken purposely for paternity test but we didn’t want them to be suspicious. So, we made them think it was for donation to their sick sibling. When my wife got home and we told her how the child was sick and taken to hospital and was placed on admission, instead of thanking me, she got so mad you would think it was a crime for me to take care of a child I presumed was my own. You know what, I kept calm. I watched her fidget and nag for days. After one week, the doctor invited me to his office and informed me that only the first child has my blood. I was furious. But he told me to calm down that he would like to talk to my wife first.

“So, I started watching. My wife suspected that I began to keep more to myself. I managed my emotions until another day that the doctor invited me to his office again. This time, I met my wife in his office. I noticed her swollen eyes that she must have been crying. So, I just dropped the bombshell and said ‘so, I am not the father of three of your children!’ Initially, she fell on her knees, begging me, but because we were in an hospital premises, I stormed out and went home, waiting for her. When she got home, again, she went on her knees and told me that it was because she was not having conjugal satisfaction from me that made her to look out. I shouted that is infidelity. She told the doctor who their real father or fathers are. I don’t want to give a damn about that. She should take them to him or them. Perhaps, I would miss those innocent children.”

After reliving his experience, he jumped up trying to beat the wife but some men stopped him from going to his wife, who was still raining abuses on him while picking some of her personal effects.

A wife’s bold face

When approached, the angry woman yelled at this reporter to leave her alone.

In law, paternity is defined as the legal acknowledgment of the parental relationship between a man and a child and it is usually based on several factors. The law gives backing to paternity DNA testing to enable families find out who the actual biological father of a child is and then empowers them to build a family life based on truth and trust, instead of doubt.

The Dana angle

Was Moses George the father of Hannah? That is a puzzle his family is battling to unravel. George was killed in the June 3 Dana plane crash in Lagos.

The DNA test result of the retired Fire Service official and Hannah, his daughter, according to Consultant Forensic Pathologist and Chief Examiner, Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH), Prof John Obafunwa, did not match. This suggests he was not her father.

But the family is querying the result. It has resubmitted fresh samples for a retest.

A cousin to the late George, Chief Moses Olajide, said he began to panic when he discovered that his uncle’s name was not among those whose DNA results arrived from the UK.

He said: “A day after the incident, my cousin (Hannah) and l came here (LASUTH) to identify the body of my uncle. We saw it in the mortuary. The body was intact. His identity card was hung on him. The name was number 22 among the names of identifiable bodies released by the hospital.

“I understand there were 16 bodies that were burnt beyond forensic analysis or some families could not show up with reference samples. But our case does not fall into any of these categories. So, where is his body?”

Another family member said: “Prof. said the DNA results did not correspond with that of the man (deceased). Really, I don’t understand what is happening. What could that mean?”

DNA paternity

tests don’t lie

A paternity DNA test is one of the most accurate ways to determine who the biological father of a child is. All that is required is a simple swab from the inside of the cheek. And the results have been 99.9999 per cent accurate.

CEO, DNA Centre, Lagos, Mr. Abiodun Salami, narrated the story of a man who presumed he was the father of his four children.

He said: “This man came to us for testing. And none of the four children were his. He was so devastated. Now, he was able to know this because his wife died. And few months after the burial ceremonies, another man showed up with evidence that the four children were his. The other man who came to lay claim was hell bent on having his children to himself because he didn’t want to lose out completely. Now, all these children are adults, with the last child in the Senior Secondary School. It became such a knotty issue. But the children helped us to resolve it when the eldest said, ‘okay, you may not be our actual biological father. It is you we know who raised and sent us to school till we have become who we are today. So, you remain our father, not the new man whom we have never seen till this time. “

Salami said there was the case of a woman who ‘shopped’ for a ‘father’ for her son out of the five men she had copulated sex with.

He said: “At the end, she gave the child to the richest, the one with the highest prospects, among the men. However, at about age seven, the child was very ill and required blood transfusion. The father was called to donate blood for his child. He did. The blood was tested. And it was found that their blood did not match. The father gave another pint of blood and the result was negative. So, the woman was called and queried. It was at the point of seeing that her child was dying that she confessed to having slept with about five men in her desperation to have children. Now, this same woman, on seeing that she got pregnant and wanted the rich man, met with her pastor at that time to dissolve her marriage to her actual husband so she could get married to the rich man . The pastors and other family members pleaded with her but she refused to accept their pleas. So, her request was granted. The husband she left later married another woman and has children with that one. By the time they pressed her to bring the other men, it was the nonentity, whom she did not want to consider at the start, a man that could not even fend for himself that fathered the baby. She almost ran mad. And this happened in Lagos State here, not any other place. So, it is a very dicey situation and couples should not fool themselves into taking things for granted.

“We also saw the case of another couple that had been married for four years. Then one day, the lady met an old school boyfriend. They rekindled their friendship and before you know it, they started meeting secretly somewhere. In about three months of outing with the boyfriend, she became pregnant. Apparently, the boyfriend was pestering her that he would take his baby and cannot allow her to give it to her husband. This lady then went to meet with her pastor and confessed to him and asked for his help. So, the pastor encouraged her to go and confess to her husband. But instead of going to confess to her husband, she put up a big fight and scattered the home she had built over the years. She told the husband that none of the four other children, apart from the new pregnancy, belonged to him. Among the children was a set of twins which the father was strongly bonded with and he even believed that they take after him in everything. But after the test, he was nowhere near being their father. So, while the issue became messy, the man’s family said she should call the real fathers of the children to come and take their children. This woman brought two other men and their DNA did not match that of any of the children. The husband at home quickly filed for divorce and ran away from her with her children. The woman was then left to her problems to go in search of the fathers of her children.”

The ever unfaithful nigereian women, they are never short of pulling a fast one on nigerian men. But my prayers are that God should specially punish those women that cheat on their husbands. Thats why no matter the volume of money spent on nigeria girls on their wedding day, their husbands should not have 100% trust on gilrs of today as they are expert Cheats., Our parents of the Old that has no DNA facilities in theier time has made us to know that its only the woman that knows the Real paternity of her child and bot u the man. So for DNA test to become an issue now, its not a new news item Churches and mosques should start the preaching of infidelity amongst our women. Its not only Bokoharam that should be a contentious issue now, but infidelity amongst nigeria women be included in our daily discuss now, because its now growing to an alarmining proportion and must be overlooked because men would now be left with the only option of eliminating their rivals.