I would also like to give you some pointers and suggestions, though. (Even though I can barely compare)

First of all, I like where this plot is going. It seems very magical and special. That is a hard quality get and your writing style emphasizes it well.

However I thought the second chapter could have been made a bit longer by adding a bit to Cieque's fleeing experience. Maybe the terror she felt? She had never actually seen a human before so I thought she might have been a bit more scared, or even surprised.

If being headstrong and brave is her personality, though, I think what you did was perfect.

Anyway, please upload ASAP this is AMAZING

Sincerely,

ILAUGHATYOUALL

MirrorFox chapter 1 . 5/9/2012

You really should be more confident, it's well written! Though you should try and make it longer... I really like it, the beginning is very intriguing! Keep going :)