A modest proposal: Lose the tint, Tech Buses

Just about every morning on my bike ride to work these huge buses barrel the other way down The Mission, driving employees to Google, Genentech, Facebook, Yahoo and other giants, somewhere down the peninsula. Sure, they can get in the way but as far as I can tell no more than Muni buses, streetcars, 18-wheelers and delivery trucks, all critical components of the city’s gears.

We know things would be far worse if those employees flooded the streets with thousands of cars. These companies have been working with the city to use spots reserved for public transportation and show no signs of going anywhere.

But they’ve caused consternation, been held up as the mascot for a changing San Francisco and even caused some jerk Monday morning to go so far as to pose as a psychotic Google employee to sway the discussion.

So here’s a modest suggestion for these big tech companies to help mend relations with the section of San Francisco that — media aided or not — seems to loath their presence: lose the tinted windows.

The psychology of tinted windows is one we feel innately. We experience every day, sense it viscerally. Cars with tinted windows are assumed to house either criminals or people who are too important. Being questioned by a state trooper from behind a set of Ray-Bans multiplies the intensity. There’s a very good reason why Darth Vader is the greatest villain of all time (besides the death grip).

We’re robbed of one of our most ancient communications: eye contact.

These buses’ massive windows are triggering the parts of our brain that think “criminal,” “jerk,” “interrogation” and “villain” all at once. There is no reason riders need the tinted windows; they spend 15 minutes waiting on the sidewalk so people know who they are. (If you say “costs too much” I will point you toward recent earning statements.)

I get cut off by Muni buses on my ride down Market Street almost every day. I say “WTF!” to the driver. I don’t flip off the passengers. No one would.

Let the city see who’s inside (just people!). It’ll take some of the edge off. Sure, the buses will still be in the way sometimes. But we’ll have lost this ominous perception of who — what — is inside. They’re easy to hate, because you don’t actually have to hate a person, you just get to hate something resembling Lord Vader’s chariot, and that’s easy.

It won’t mend this fence, but it’ll put a few nails in the right spot.