Kill the Dinosaurs

Inspired by a question generator that asked me how I thought the dinosaurs died, I thought it would make a good creative exercise. So... How did the dinosaurs die? Kill them for me.

How I answered:
Obviously the Martian Overlord, Satan, waged war with the dinosaurs. The velociraptor army fought hard, but a stegosaurus tratior gave Satan the coordinances of the dinosaurs' nuculear wepons. After making a final stand, M.A.D. took out the dinosaurs AND Mars.

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Obviously, they were infected with a virus which caused every male dinosaur to believe his best friend was screwing his old lady. After killing them both, he was then killed by the next dinosaur he befriended and so on and so forth, etc until they were all gone but one. Then he masturbated himself to death.

From recently decoded 65 million year-old reptilian writings, it seems that the dinosaurs were actually hyper-intelligent creatures that had a highly developed global civilisation (though they still ate trees and each other). The dino-stronomers had realised that a near-Earth asteroid was hurtling towards Earth, and the dinosaur high command decided that simultaneous mass suicide was preferable to millions dying as a result of the conflagration caused by the impending impact and the rest inevitably dying out during a hundreds of thousands of years of 'nuclear' winter caused by dust thrown up as a result of the impact. Suicide pills were quickly distributed worldwide.

When considering the enormous size of most dinosaurs, the first thing that comes to mind is their need for a substantial caloric intake. Even the herbivores would have required a large food supply. With planetary cloud cover blocking out most of the sun's rays and icecaps eclipsing entire continents, one could imagine the competition for food was fierce. In my opinion, their demise was combination of several factors 1) starvation, 2) being killed off by other dinosaurs who were fighting for the same food, and 3) extreme cold. Though I imagine their body fat provided insulation to the cold to some extent, they probably had a hard time finding something to eat. Flash forward a few eons and the same thing will happen to people.

Dinosaurs were bad. Evil even. And so to get rid of them and to please the Crocodiles, a battle royale was held. Each dinosaur of the same species fought until only one remained, then the winner of each species took on other species and so on until their was one final victor. That dinosaur was then allowed one wish. The wish was that one day each dinosaur would be reincarnated as something worse. Something that would finish what the dinosaurs had started. And that is how humans came to be.

Scientists have figured out that there are some incredible gaps between some of the more famous dinosaurs, such as Stegasaurus and Tyranasaurus Rex. These gaps are so wide, that we are actually closer, historically, to T-Rex than Steggy ever was. That brings the question: how do we know that there wasn't something in those gaps that we haven't figured out yet? Perhaps an intelligent life form that lived with dinosaurs, maybe evolved from them, that built civilizations out of biological material? And what if they accidentally started a zombie apocalypse that stretched for millions of years?

Scientists have figured out that there are some incredible gaps between some of the more famous dinosaurs, such as Stegasaurus and Tyranasaurus Rex. These gaps are so wide, that we are actually closer, historically, to T-Rex than Steggy ever was. That brings the question: how do we know that there wasn't something in those gaps that we haven't figured out yet? Perhaps an intelligent life form that lived with dinosaurs, maybe evolved from them, that built civilizations out of biological material? And what if they accidentally started a zombie apocalypse that stretched for millions of years?

Oooo - snake farm.

The Following User Says Thank You to JustcallmeEd For This Useful Post:

Nobody killed the theropod saurischians. They're called birds, and they're still flippin' everywhere.

As for those lame-ass ornithischians (ironically named after the birds whose ancestors they are not), obviously they couldn't fly, and they were to big to fit on the Ark, so when the flood came they got left behind. Or something.

The dinosaurs were ultimately doomed by their greed and their yearning for perfection. Dinosaur society deemed that the most desirable female was to be well fed and obese. To satisfy their social conventions, many male predators would hunt more than the ecosystem could support to help create the most corpulent mates. They could not win against each other, every time their spouse would achieve a massive figure, another female would ultimately usurp them. A terrible famine ensued, but even that did not dissuade them. No, they saw it as opportunity, to hunt and hoard their food to make them the ultimate victor. Eventually, only one Tyrannosaurus Rex couple was left. Standing on a giant pile of rotting meat, Scrooge McRex exclaimed to his wife, "We did it baby, we won!"...

I think they were killed by meteorite long time ago. This the most obvious explanation for me. Also, I have read about this and got the facts I needed. So if you are interested too just click and find useful information.

I think they were killed by meteorite long time ago. This the most obvious explanation for me. Also, I have read about this and got the facts I needed. So if you are interested too just click and find useful information.

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