Sega and Titanic in shock collaboration!

‘Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you, that is how i know you go on’ so crooned Celine Dion back in the late 90’s inspired by the heartbreaking plug-pulling tomgriggery of her favourite console, the Sega Saturn. And go on it has Celine. And go on it has.

But check this out.

When one disaster meets another. Sega and Titanic.

If there’s a finer subject matter for a ticket dispensing, er… thing, then I don’t know what it could be. Depicted in it’s final plunge with stern aloft, the poorly realised Titanic model rotates in the machine while it spews out content from its innards. One can only hazard a guess that the relatives of the victims were possibly not consulted for this items creation or endorsement.

The specs of this machine are clearly to be revered…

With selling points such as ‘vividly coloured’ making the top of their list, the stretch for quality product pointers is obviously far and painful. Still, at least ‘Well lit’ means the machine gets one over on the street outside my house. And to think, this is from the company whose repertoire of arcade products once boasted hydraulic cabinets with futuristic chip architectures throwing around millions of hi res polygons at 60 fps… screw that! ‘Led/dot displays’ for the win!

Quite what relevance the dispensing of tickets has to the Titanic I don’t know, other than having needed one to get on it. But it’ll take more than a lucky hand at Poker to be making off with produce from this beast, as with Titanic fever gripping the late 90’s/early 2000’s Sega made darn sure that was one money-making and similarly doomed ship that wasn’t gonna sail without them back in 2000!

For much like the allegedly unsinkable behemoth, ’twas not long after the maiden voyage of this contraption that what seemed a watertight step in the right direction for their home console aspirations, the Dreamcast, also foundered. Buh. Coincidence? I’ll let you decide. Course Sega probably would’ve happily taken a bit of iceberg damage instead of Sony’s VILE LIES… but obviously time has healed those wounds. Sob.

And yes. This dribbling post was indeed for no greater purpose than to ensure that we have something in the November Grig Orig archive, just in case.

Anyhoo, I’m off to start hash tagging ‘Grig-gate’ in a bid to garner interest for our blog. It’s a bit like Gamergate, except people actually know what it’s about – namely the Grig having been locked up in Grig Towers basement for the last three years. Sort of like a more creepy version of Elsa from Frozen, but with no happy ending, no singing, and definitely no hot sister. And somehow, probably sexism. No, definitely sexism. Laters.

Woof! Boom! And other things young pikesters might say in a moment of jubilation (often sexual) because here I am on the Grig all poised to try to make a November post appear out of thin buh ( very thin usually ) and woah, the other griggers are already in here, nose to the grindstone, propping up the great grig machine. Whoop! That’s teamwork! That’s camaraderie! That’s a last minute shuffle to keep the good ship grig afloat! but by God we’re going to do it! A post every month just like a proper respectable site! And so moved was i by the quality of today’s humour it even made it to my tumblr. Where only the most hilarious posts are hand picked for stardom! Well, to be seen by my 16 followers. Of which at least several are bots. And one might by an illegal porn site . And to be honest I think the rest only followed me because I once posted a picture of Marky Mark. So they’re probably quite disappointed by my collection of zelda pictures and occasional spongebob gifs. In fact, this particular Titanic / Shenmue joke might finally break their will. But you’ve got to be true to your reblogging self. Anyway – reblogging! Also like a real website! Shamazeballs! And best of all, by saving my transforming Playstation post for another day there’s even some pre-prepared fodder lined up for December. (Disclaimer: pre-prepared should not in any way be taken to imply quality or thoughtfulness. Think more: packaged sandwiches on a coach holiday, someone leaving a flaming bag of turds on your doorstep, or writing down their lines on their hand for how to falteringly ask the school loser to a dance because there’s really no one else but even then the girl says no because omg I do have standards you know and really? I’d probably prefer to sit at home and watch Bake Off with my nan than come out with you so, like, stop talking to me and oh, ps, it looks like you’ve got cat aids on your hand where that writing has smudged.