Luke Scory

This book has been officially deemed a "chirp." Chirp: A term
coined by the legendary copywriter Igl Keavort which describes
funny, absurd, obscene, and cynical garbage harvested from the
internet and consolidated into one crazy literary format related to
Oscilloscope. Don't buy THIS book if: 1. You're not sure your
nerves can take it 2. Your mummy raised you to be prim and
proper... 3. You're planning on getting pregnant in the next five
minutes. 4. You think the world just can't amaze you anymore... Two
hours before absorbing any "chirpology," please observe the
following safety precautions. DO NOT drink, use drugs, over eat, or
engage in any activity that will cause you or someone else to
become pregnant. As such, you agree to hold us blameless for any
subsequent modification of your thought patterns, or side-effects,
including, but not limited to, laughter, nausea or anger resulting
from the purchase or reading of this book.