January 25, 2006

I'm a Porsche 911!

You have a classic style, but you're up-to-date with the latest technology. You're ambitious, competitive, and you love to win. Performance, precision, and prestige - you're one of the elite,and you know it.

I'm actually not a sports car type at all. My dream car is probably a '73 Chrysler Newport which my grandparents owned when I was young and which you can see it lurking on the left side of this picture of me and my uncle on his motorcycle. Unfortunately you can also see the car that supplanted it, a Dodge Aspen, which according to Car Talk is one of the worst cars of the last millenium. My childhood was a string of bad cars actually. My mother owned a green Volkswagen Superbeetle that I was almost killed in, which was then replaced by a yellow Ford Pinto (the subject of the amusing bumper sticker that read "Hit me and we blow up together"). That was replaced by a powder blue '86 Ford Escort, which sadly was a huge step up. Then there was my grandparent's Aspen which turned into a pile of powdered iron oxide in two years and was replaced by a Chrysler 5th Avenue. And don't mention my uncle's Maverick or my other uncle's MGB. Or the Model T.

"You live on the edge, and you live for the adrenaline rush. You don't need luxuries, snob appeal, or superfluous gadgets. You put your top down, get your motor revving, and take all the curves that life throws at you at full speed. So what if you spin out occasionally?"

I think only the very last sentence really describes me, though. I do drive a Honda in real life--but the Element.

(And should I make a joke about how Prof. Althouse enjoys climbing up inside of me every day? Would it be an insouciant reversal of expected gender roles? Or would it be just plain wrong, and inappropriate?)

Nine years ago, a driver in an old sedan plowed into the rear of my stationary Porsche 911 at 55 miles an hour. Although I was behind the wheel, I suffered no serious injuries. The Porsche 911 will always get my vote.