Happy New Year! DH, my brother, and I had a blast playing mexican train dominoes last night with a couple friends. Went to bed about 10:30 p.m. I knew that midnight would come but no need to see the time elapse on the clock. Finally had 3 temps that were high, but FF is giving me dashed lines. The times were "normal" and I have been putting in the EWCM as appropriate. Maybe I need a couple more high temps. DH and I had BDed on the three days leading up to my O date so here is to hoping one of the few sperm made it to the goal!

Hey ladies. I have been MIA for a while...no news yet. It's been a month full of great news for some friends and family with new babies and new pregnancies. I'm happy for them all, but I can't help being jealous. I get so upset when AF arrives. I allow myself to be upset that day, and then pick myself up and try again.

I think I have o'ed on cd 20...my cycle has been 30 days lately. So i'm a bit nervous that my lp is a bit short. I got my bloods taken on cd 11 to see if all is normal, so just waiting...seems like waiting is always on my agenda these days

Thebyr: A big congratulations to you!!! So happy for you! I wish you all the best in this pregnancy! Sending lots of sticky vibes your way! Maybe your back pain is related to the relaxin hormone... Hope you're not suffering too much.

Librarygirl: your symptoms sound promising. Any news?

Conifer: I hear you with the good news and being happy for them but also jealous and sad for yourself. I forget if you've mentioned it before but are you charting? I've seen comments from other ladies that a short LP doesn't necessarily pose a problem, hopefully your bloodwork can shed some light on your situation.

Lilac: Hehe, DH and I went to be at about the same time last night, then we had some "fun time" and I think we ended up falling asleep around 11:50pm... I wish you all the best for your upcoming appointment and I fervently hope your IVF cycle will be successful!

JustJenny: wow, sounds like you really hit on something with the progesterone test. Hopefully taking the supplemental hormones will straighten out some of your symptoms and then you'll know for sure it was an issue. Hopefully it will lead to your next BFP too!

Doularebekah: your story reminds me of one of my teachers who said that it's dangerous to think you've got The Answer because it keeps you from looking for other answers/possibilities. Sounds like your doc is really focused on only one issue. Would finding another one be an option for you?

How's the new job? Glad to hear you've got a positive outlook for 2013! And best of luck to your DH on his job interview!

AFM: the visit with the in-laws went better than expected, though we probably won't repeat it for another two years... I've been staying fairly zen but then had a temp dip at 6 and 7DPO and ever since I've been dreaming about being pregnant this cycle (among other things, lots of other crazy dreams as well!). I'm holding off on testing for now, also because I'm skeptical about the results of those tests given what happened in November. AF should come before the weekend so I'm going to try to wait and see...

Dakipode: You are always so positive and thoughtful. You seem so grounded and thoughtful...the perfect recipe for a fab mommy

AFM: I'm using The Period Tracker App and tracking my cm, cervix position, and just taking notes each day. I've tried the opk tests, but I don't think I'm very good at using them properly. But I think I am getting to know my body better after each cycle.

Today I am staring to notice some dull aches around my ovaries. I didn't feel any different or notice anything during the day except I just coukdn't stop stretching my lower back. Then after the gym, I was in the shower and started getting sharp twinges around my pelvic bone. That lasted for about 15 minutes. From then I've had these dull aches. I don't mind them, just hoping they are here for a reason. Kind of funny as I am also watching the show One Born Every Minute...so maybe it's just my womb watching the tele with me

Has anyone had those twinges before? I'm only 3dpo if I ov'd when I think I did. I'm cd23 and trying to play it cool...hahaha. Cm has been different each cycle, but I've noticed that the cm has not been as tacky after ov as it usually is. Still fairly lotiony and wet whereas it has usually been quite pasty by this time. I hope I'm not creating symptoms, but going through my last cycles, it does seem different. We'll just have to wait to see if lil miss AF shows her face next week.

How's January treating everyone else? It's my 35th birthday this month. Maybe a surprise pressie? Either way, I love birthdays...so it will be a great month!

I look forward to hearing how the rest of you are doing this month. Happy January xx

Thank you Dakipode! I hadn't remembered the relaxin hormone - everything was so fast and uncomfy for me last time. I went and looked it up - I think you may be right. Hopefully it subsides a little as I get closer to 6 weeks. I've never been good at temping - but still holding out some hope for you this month. It seems like a lot of women have luck with clomid - are there any reasons that women don't use it? side-effects or something? I notice a lot of women get on and off of it during their course of TTC. Just curious - ignore me if my question seems off base.

Thebyr: The doc told me to take one or two months off from TTC after the ectopic. This next AF will be the first "normal" cycle so I'm going to see if they're willing to start me back up. I initially thought Clomid would help me O sooner but the nurse said that's not true, it just makes you O more than one egg. I know some women get crazy side effects (headaches, mood swings, hot flashes, etc.) from it but when I tried it I felt fine. It tends to thin the lining with continued use so most docs won't let you use it for more than 3-6 cycles in a row.

Ahhhh. That makes a lot of sense. Thank you for explaining that to me. Thank you. I tell my little bean to hang in there every morning and every evening. Sure hope he/she is listening.

I remember having to wait 6 cycles.. Seemed like forever... But I paid attention to my cycles and they seemed to get more and more "normal" too.. They varied but nothing like the every 14 days of bleeding I had before my myomectomy.

Thebyr: I hope your lil bean gets comfortable in there for the long haul!

Dakipode: I hope the new year brings new opportunities for some fruitful bd...at least we can enjoy the efforts There could be worse things to be doing withbour time!!! Hahaha

AFM: Doc called today and blood tests were all good, he tested everything from hormones, iron, bones, kidney, liver...all good. The interesting thing he told me us to cut down my jogging. Havecanybof you heard that? I workout 5 days per week. He said walking would be better. I kind of get whatvhe is saying, but I thought that I should keep up my fitness. I am not a mad gym freak, I justvdo enough to stay fit. I don't mind trading my jogging & weights for some walking, but I didn't think that would be an issue. He said it's a sacrifice to consider. Just seems odd and sounds like I'm a fitness fanatic, but Isn't activity good for the mind, spirit and energy?

Interesting.. very interesting. I have heard of docs telling women to cut out exercising while TTC and the first trimester after a loss.. but only recently - and only on this board. I would think exercise would be great. I just picked back up on my zumba 4-5 times a week. I did wait until after my BFP - but only because I'm off for the holidays and have time.. not because I thought no exercise would help with TTC. Although - now that you mention it - the DH said he was cutting out his daily biking to TTC - something about the keeping the sperm cool. Maybe not running keeps the eggies cool? IDK. lol. You're not alone - I think that sounds un-inherent. (is that even a word?)

library girl--Any news?! Thank you for sharing your tea recipe and the good vibes on that Amazon box! I've been drinking raspberry leaf tea for a while, but I hadn't thought to mix in other herbs. But, lately I've eased up on the raspberry leaf tea because I read some conflicting information about whether or not it is advised to drink when you are TTC and/or very early pregnancy.

justjenny--How exciting that you are getting more information. I too have been having weak positive OPKs, not really sure what to make of them. Is that related to low progesterone?

lilac--Best wishes for your MIL's health. You are so clever to invert the test pics in paint! Excited for you to start this IVF journey.

viddy--It sounds like things are coming into place with the new year. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of DH's grandmother. Perhaps the baby will meet DH's grandma on another plane before making his/her appearance here. My DH is also soon making an appointment to get his sperm analyzed (after much encouragement from me). I also just ordered "Making Babies," as I have heard good things about it.

thebyr--congrats! Sending lots of sticky dust your way!

doularebekah--Hopefully you will get a BFP this cycle! Sorry to hear the doctor's advice was so useless.

ConiferOD and dakipode--Hope you get BFPs this month! ConiferOD, I think depending on your fertility type, the Making Babies program sometimes recommends less vigorous exercise when TTC.

AFM--AF arrived precisely two weeks ago, and while I was disappointed, I was glad that my cycle was 30 days (sometimes my cycles are very long). My cramping was not as bad as it was the last month and there was no sign of old (brown) blood and little clotting. This leads me to believe that the two visits I had to the sobadora last month helped a lot. I also started taking an herbal tincture I received from a local healer (Rainforest Remedies Female Tonic) that is supposed to cleanse the womb and help with cramping/PMS. Evidently Marcia's clients have had very good results with this tincture in combination with dietary changes. So, I am hopeful and now that I am back home after a few weeks up in Oregon I have re-instated a healthy diet with very little dairy/meat/sugar/alcohol/caffeine/wheat. My DH is on board with this detox diet and it being a pretty good sport about it. I also have an appointment next week to see an OB/GYN and will hopefully get some lab work done to check my hormone levels and see if any of that is related to the horrible cramps that have been worsening the past few years (and my difficulty conceiving). I have graduate student health insurances that excludes any fertility treatments/care, so we'll see how much is covered.

Of course, none of the sobadas/tinctures/vitamins/diet efforts will do much good if I can't get my husband to get busy at the right time of the month! He does not respond very well to the pressure to perform on a specific day, which has been an ongoing source of tension. We're coming up on two years TTC with one MC in that time, but when I went back and really scrutinized my cycles, I saw that we only had sex in the right window maybe seven times. So, that is something we are working on.

Over the holidays I did feel some sadness and jealousy about other people's babies and pregnancy. I went to a holiday market and ran into a few people I hadn't seen since high school, with their babies. And then on Christmas my husband's brother and wife announced they are 13 weeks along. I didn't even know they were trying, so I was rather taken aback. I've started being more open with people about our miscarriage so that we can accept their support and whatever good thoughts/prayers they want to send our way. It turns out my SIL also had a miscarriage before the current pregnancy.

Conifer: at my very first visit with the specialist he commented on my work out schedule and that it might be beneficial to cut back a bit. I've done so since then only because I want to feel like I'm doing "the right thing" since he mentioned it. (Of course I disregarded the other docs comment about waiting a month or two because it didn't suit me ) Anyway, I'm now at about half the intensity/frequency of what I did before and staying sane with this slower pace. I'd say if it drives you nuts to cut back then don't, otherwise use it as a nice excuse to give yourself a break. (Oh, and watch the Making Grace documentary for a great quote on laying off exercising from the lady trying to get pregnant: "Now I'm fat, my pants don't fit anymore and I'm still not pregnant!")

Bailey: I have some special lingerie that I save for those nights when it absolutely has to happen even though we're both tired. Would something like that help your DH? Of course, if you don't tell him the reason he'll figure it out soon enough but you may be able to get a couple of well timed sessions out of it...(mine knows but the lingerie still turns him on) And the cost of a nice little set is surely less than the cost of an IUI or more invasive fertility measures.

I like what you said about sharing your experience so that you can accept well wishes from others, I hadn't considered that. I find the whole secrecy that seems to surround miscarriage frustrating, especially once you find out how common they are. As human beings I think we can help each other by sharing our joys but more importantly by being there for each other when we're going through rough times. Pretending that nothing ever happened in my opinion is not doing anyone a favor. So yes, good for you for seeing the other side of this and being open about it!