Comments for 'Fort Knox II'

The Collector
8:08 pm | June 25, 2004
A lil jumpy and iffy but worth a rewrite. Good luck with this

Kaizen
4:05 pm | June 25, 2004
Good story. Will you finsih it? And Agent Shade, mendoza dies once. But i think between the books and the game... Sergeant Johnson dies nine times

................................
3:36 pm | June 25, 2004
As I returned to HBO, I commented on Zanzibar part 7, a "343 Salty Beans" called me a marketeer because I told someone to refer to my Archon series because it is regarded as a good example of a good story. It seems that there are A LOT of new people here. And this Salty Beans fellow said people will hate my guts. Is it me or is this the way people talk to me now, I mean back in the day everyone treated everyone with respect. Being called a marketeer by a n00b wasn't something that happened back then.-wado

Echo630
3:36 pm | June 25, 2004
Nitrousoxide, if this is who i think it is, i like ur map...needs some fixings though

xNoToRiOuSx
5:33 am | June 25, 2004
Firstly i would like to say thank you salty beans for explaining the code, i have inquired before about the code and no one was of any help. Secondly, i am just writing these series to get constructive critism on my writing skills, i do not normally write stories like this and it is a bit weird for me to do so. This is just the only way that i can receive feedback from such a wide range of readers. And i would also apreciate it if you were to take your arguments somewhere else when i post the third installment to the series. I understand you are just trying to sought it out now, but hopefully you can put your differences aside and comment just on the story for my next peice.

Thank you to everyone that commented on my story or helped me in someway. I am currently developing my writing skills as i am on 15 years old and i take a good deal of your constructive critism on board.

The third installment to the series will come soon.

P.S My next peice will be using "The Code"

Agent Shade
8:47 pm | June 24, 2004
Mendoza was technically killed in Halo, but then again, this is fiction, so whatever...

take up matters somewhere else people

SeverianofUrth
5:24 pm | June 24, 2004
Word on the story: I never finished it. Read Salty Bean's comment below, says everything of value. Now, the other unpleasant neccesity: I hate to say this, but I gotta agree with 343. How long you spent writing on HBO shouldn't count as much as the quality of your fics. I used to come to this site last year, and I noticed that amidst the flood of low-quality n00b shit, there are some real gems- something I barely ever noticed a year ago.

Sterfrye36
5:06 pm | June 24, 2004
The story is good, and you could be excellent with the code. Without it, it makes the stories a little hard to read.

Wado, you can't expect everyone to recognize you here, man. Most people don't know how good of an author you are. Hey, even I don't. I was scared off by your J.R.R. Tolkien meets Eric Nylund style of writing (Kind of like the Hobbit meets Halo).If you do want people to remember you, man, you've got to keep from dropping off the face of the Earth for months-on-end. I may be completely off base, in which case I apologize, but Salty Beans has got a point.\\

As for your Archon series: let Wiley recommend it or something. It does appear kind of tacky and like your advertising your own stuff, even if you just want to help a new guy out.

And, I don't know...Does anybody else think that finding the instructions for the code is just A LITTLE TOO HARD FOR PEOPLE THAT HAVEN'T EVER SUBMITTED ANY FICS!?Good grief! I've been here for over a year, and when I went back to look at the codes for reference, it took me 5 min. to find them!For a newbie who might just be thrilled, with finding out that he can write this, the idea that psuedocode exists might not ever occur to them! I was fortunate enough to check all of the instructions before I wrote my first story, and managed to get it right.

Plus, there is the occasional formatting error:http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=agent_shade.0701030255188.htmlNow, unless you think Agent Shade (Who is an excellent writer) wrote it like that on purpose, it's obvious that the form screws up occasionally. Hey, on one of FOrunnER's stories, it replaced all apostrophes with upside down question marks!

So commenting on the story itself, I didn't see much of a plot. However, the detail was excellent. I enjoyed the way you scientifically explained the battle rifle itself.

Use the code, though. I'm not sure if you know what I mean by 'the code':

When you indent, italicize, and bolden your text in your word-editing program, it doesn't carry over to your FF. That's why you proofread and check for mistakes. Instead, do this:

to italicize a block of text, put [i] before the block, and [/i] to end it. To bolden, do [b], [/b], and underlining is [u], [/u].

Indenting helps seperate paragraphs. To put an indent, put a [indent] where you want it to show up.

Finally, for a horizontal rule, put [hr] between two paragraphs. A horizontal rule usually shows a change in time, place, or other major switch in the story.

Yeah, there's the code. Use it, or the regulars go nuts on you.

Another question: Don't larger weapons have shoulder slings? In H:tF, the MC "slings" his shotty. I think they have straps for rifles and such, not back holsters. But hey, it's your story.

Now, to deal with this unpleasant "Wado"...

When you complain about me, do it on MY story. Don't go piss and moan on someone elses comments page; they actually want feedback, not a whiner.

Secondly, you didn't "refer" to your story. You said, "Go read my Archon series", as an advertisement. That is marketing your story, which annoys people, ESPECIALLY the authors themselves.

343SB

I'm not a n00b, I'm not of Wado's breed either
1:17 pm | June 24, 2004
It doesn't matter who I am, but I got bored of this fan fiction section on HBO two years ago. The whole thing is just swamped with fiction which is mostly plitt, and... oh, it's just boring. All you fan-writers, just find something better to write about and give Louis Wu a break!

*Apologies to the author of this story for not reading or commenting on your work.

I'm no n00b Wado.
1:17 pm | June 24, 2004
I read your stuff when you were still posting and it was no better than material I've seen very recently on HBO. You come back after a long time, make a two word comment on someone's story and then you're blowing your own trumpet.

I think you need a bit of deflating if you're recommending your story as a tome for other writers, especially seeming as you didn't take the time to properly comment on Salty Bean's work.

There's loads of new fic here, let yours collect dust and give other equally and even more adequate writers their credit. And how long he's been submitting to HBO should have no effect on the pertinence of what he said, which - by the way I think was totally justified.

Really mate, belt up.

Wado
12:41 pm | June 24, 2004
As I returned to HBO, I commented on Zanzibar part 7, a "343 Salty Beans" called me a marketeer because I told someone to refer to my Archon series because it is regarded as a good example of a good story. It seems that there are A LOT of new people here. And this Salty Beans fellow said people will hate my guts. Is it me or is this the way people talk to me now, I mean back in the day everyone treated everyone with respect. Being called a marketeer by a n00b wasn't something that happened back then.