Hampshire Police have blamed dodgy software for an e-fit image of a burglary suspect with suspiciously salady hair.
The man is accused of nabbing £60 from an elderly victim in Stockbridge.
He was described as between 40 and 45 years old, with a round, clean-shaven face and hair fashioned entirely from lettuce leaves large …

When apprehended, the salad said

His human rights had been violated as he was portrayed as a vegetable and was not given a normal dose of dressing. Accordingly he has been released, where subsequntly he was consumed by a member of PETA.

Special PC's are worth every penny that we pay them.

which seeing as they are volunteers working for free is not a lot. I think you meant that PCSO's are a waste of skin/ oxygen etc. Though given the woefully dim ordinary PC's that I've met maybe not.......