Ok, This is called the Torch, but I thought this weapon would be a cool Christmas post because… Look! It looks like a Christmas tree!! Sorta. Maybe a palm tree. With Christmas lights… Kinda…

OK, I’ll admit it. This is weak. This thing is so impractical and over done it’s amazing. It must be well nigh impossible to obtain any kind of comfortable grip on the thing, and besides the four blade tree thing, it’s got nuthin’ to do wit’ christmas. Bleh.

Ok. I’ve had a few nonalcoholic drinks. They were very intoxicating. So I’m not entirely positively motivated here. Obviously, I’m just half A$$ing this post. You know it, I know it, so I’ll not insult your intelligence any further. Lets just skip the small talk. I’ll say Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!!! You may then reply in some generic Christmassy kind, and then we can all go do more productive things. Like raid the blood wine cauldron…

OK, obviously I can’t talk about a dubiously “ninja” themed weapon without picking apart all of the reasons why no self respecting ninja would use it, so here we go. First off, look at the grip on this thing. It’s like some mutant shade of orange!!! Not that it doesn’t make for an eye catching sword, but seriously, what kind of ninja would want to draw that kind of attention to themselves?

And then there is the guard. A large straight cross guard set atop a round lotus leaf guard? I don’t even know what to call that. Your stereotypical ninjaken have square guards. Even Samurai don’t use that kind of guard, let alone a ninja. It does look cool though. Last but not least, you have that cool little red and white motif painted on the blade. I have only one word for that. NOT! And I’m not even gonna talk about the blade shape.

But frivolous “Ninja” label bashing aside, I actually like the design of this sword. The lines of the blade are actually quite cool, And the guard, while not as easy to hide, and not as useful to a ninja as the stronger square one would be, would actually be quite effective in battle. Now if they could get rid of the little Christmassy bits, like the orange grip, tassel, and the red/white paint, and powder coat the whole thing jet black, I would really dig this thing.

Not that I have anything against Christmas. I love Christmas. I’m just not sure Ninjas celebrate it… Yeah. That’s my story. And I’m sticking with it.