Right from my childhood when I was 2 year old onwards I used to show lot of interest in going to temples taking darshan making pranams to sadhus / poojaris , watching the paintings in the Goudiya matt, singing bhajans along with mother and others, it seems. But,the only thing I remember is I and my younger sister would always be with my mother and I saw my mother spending most of the time in either worshipping the God or extending her services to the needy.

The first time when I saw Baba to the best of my knowledge is when I was 5-6 year old (in 1968-69). We were staying in my maternal grand parents’ house due to my father’s posting in a remote forest area (which was not suited to shift the family). I remember very well to have seen many magazines read by my maternal grandfather with a lot of shraddha and an old man’s photo with a beard on the cover pages. The house was in Arundelpet, Guntur. My mother used to visit Sai Baba’s temple which was in a 5 minute walk distance from there.

What has really attracted me there a lot was, the red roses – which were considered very costly and dear to us those days. Second thing was the clean and white marble platform with intricate carvings around Baba’s Photo. There was no Garbhalayam like in other temples where devotees are not allowed and only the Pujari would enter and perform Puja and give us out prasad / aarti / kumkum / vibhuti whatsoever. But, here it was only one hall and in the center a square shaped marble platform with intricate carvings and in the middle spreaded a bright mukhmal cloth and on that placed a big photo of Sai baba with a smiling face. Every body was going in and touching the feet and offer whatever they can. The big rose garland was another attraction for me there.

Above all, the 25 paise coins (that was a very high denomination those days) pressed in between the marble carvings was of lot of interest to me. I used to wonder how people were able to donate such a big money while we were hardly able to offer 2 or 3 paise. Infact whenever I was taken to that temple I would go around count the number of coins and feel happy. I do not remember whether I had tried to pull out one of them but definitely in vain. I liked that old man. I used to think why this old man should not solve our problems? Always I waited for some one to go to that temple of old man and roses so that I can accompany them. One more thing that got registered in my mind strongly was my father never liked my mother visiting Baba’s temples. Perhaps this made my mother inform my inlaws before my marriage itself that I am a Shirdi Sai Devotee to avoid any differences in future.

Even if we forget OR don't have time for Baba, he always has us in his mind and takes care by all means. Sai Baba often said that-let His man (Devotee) be at any distance, a thousand koss away from Him, he will be drawn to Shirdi like a sparrow, with a thread tied to its feet. We are all HIS blessed sparrows.

As I grew, I lost touch with that temple and would have hardly made any visit to this temple. Moreover, my father was transferred to several other districts in Andhra Pradesh. In 1974, he was posted to Yelamanchili near Visakhapatnam. Here,we had the grace of Baba’s darshan for a long period of 2 years and that too almost daily. The temple was on the way to my school and I was 10-11 year old. I remember every bit of those days. There used to be 2-3 sadhus staying in the temple. They would come for Bhiksha daily in all our streets and in return they used to give us small packets of kumkum or udi. It is as fresh as anything in my mind. All we children in the street would stand in front of our respective doorsteps to offer the bhiksha – mostly raw rice holding in our little hands. Soon after getting the kumkum / udi we would rush in and preserve them.

Too Good Kavitaji. You are really blessed child of MY BABA SAI...really blessed. You write beautifully with minute to minute details. You bowled me over. By the way what do you do? Write something more about you and if you please, get in touch with me on ramnaniramesh@yahoo.com. I want to include you in my dear sisters list.

" Victory to Thee, O revered Teacher, O kind One. You are beautified by vibhoothi and decorated by moon on Your head. Thou art none other than Lord Shiva or Krishna or Rama. Give us Thy Grace O Lord".

OM SRI SAI RAM

One of those sadhus resembled Baba in appearance. Mostly he used to come for Bhiksha and was liked by all of us - the children of the town. We used tease that Baba, start some conversation and pull his legs, make some childish comments. He used to be very playful with us. We named him Saikumkum. Even a small boy of our neighbours aged 3 year old would also come out running holding 10 –12 grains of rice shouting ‘thai kunka…’ ‘thai kunka…’ . The other two were not liked that much – I don’t know the reason. Probably this baba was friendly with us and mostly he used to give pink color kumkum, which was a great attraction. On exam days all of us would wear this kumkum to reap the best results.

It was a sentiment that if “Saikumkum” comes before leaving for exam, we were sure to do well. We used to show faces to him the following day if he didn’t turn up on the exam day since we would have not done well in the exam. Mother too used to visit this temple occasionally. One day my younger sister saw Saikumkum smoking and informed me. From that day we branded him a ‘bad man’ and did not show interest to offer him Bhiksha.

Prior to this, one interest thing, now I can co-relate with what I read about Baba has happened in 1972 when we were in a small town. There used to be a math (The famous Veera Brahmendra Swamy) at the end of our street in a ‘X- road’. One fakir of age 25 yrs used to stay there; wearing totally torn clothes and murmuring –either in a low tone or sometimes shouting at the pitch of voice. No body knew when he would have food and what he would be doing all the day and none bothered if he was not seen. He spoke in hindi / urdu which none would understand. But all the children used to throw stones on him calling him “Kyare Bachcha” and run away. We were told that he might beat or bite and that we should be careful.

So, the moment we see him at a distance we (me and my younger sister) would take a different route to school. But during our stay of 2 years in that town, we never heard of “Kyare Bachcha” beating or biting anybody. But my parents used tell us that only people of very high spiritual level will be like that and we should not be afraid but just take God’s name - nothing would happen. Similarly, many a time we happened to meet him on the way and chanted God’s (Balaji) name and we were never even commented by him. He would just take a glance and murmur something to himself and push off. This was my second phase.

(They were not educationally as high as we are qualified. But today, I can never give such an advice to my daughter Sai – I would rather frighten her more or accompany her or shift to another house. This is what today’s education or the advanced living condition has gifted. All our parents belonged to the old school of thought and lived a fear free life. This is what I believe. Sorry for the deviation).

My parents were very pious and kind hearted. Some or the other Poojas they used to perform always. My mother would always be on 2-3 vows at a time. We 4 together would go to all the temples regularly. So we, the children too developed that tradition. We always worshipped our family deity Lord Venkateswara. One small incident I would like to mention here. There was an ever worst and biggest cyclone in Nov’77 in India, A.P. (Krishna and Guntur Districts were the worst hit) causing the severest damage to life and property. Our village and farms were also effected to a greater extent. If I remember, it was on 19,20 and 21st of Nov. On 20 th night there was Radio news that the damage expected may become double since there may be a likelihood further intensifying of the cyclone. I (was 13 year old then) wept a lot a in front of Lord Venkateswara and requested that the damage should stop with that day and no more bad news should be heard. Miraculously, from that day on wards, every thing became better. But I do not how we totally forgot Baba.

The main reason could be that we were in interior villages and townships of Andhra where there were no Baba temples – those days and even if there were, mother wouldn’t have attempted to go since father might object. Later, we got busy with going from place to place due to my father - being very principled was hardly liked in his dept., and was shunted from place to place every academic year (sometimes twice a year).

There are no boys in our house and I being the eldest, was busy doing all the market job and other works outside the house while my sister would help mother in domestic work. This outside duty made me very playful and aggressive in behaviour. So where was the time to think of Baba. It was HIS (Baba) botheration and duty to remember me. Why he would leave ? Have we not read in Satcharitra ? How HE struggled to set right idiots like me ? So HE is still trying his level best.

In 1983 summer, I accompanied my mother from Hyderabad to Nizamabad for a weekend where my sister was working. We got in to the ladies coach of Manmad express at Sec’bad station and found one young lady with her two sons sitting opposite to us. On enquiry, we came to know that she was going to Shirdi. Throughout our journey for nearly 4 hours she narrated, with wet eyes, to us a lot of leelas of Baba and also her own experiences. My mother has actively participated in the conversation taking references of my grandfather. I was very much moved by her experiences. Especially the one which I still remember is this:

(Though I have mentioned about this already in the forum, I apologise, I repeat since this is a mile stone in MY BABA LIFE). She and her husband are railway employees. One day she was in the office while he was in the station - in the very same Sec’bad. He was boarding a train and it moved suddenly and he fell down partly on the track and partly between the track and the platform. Since she was working very much nearby, she rushed to the spot and he was taken to the Railway hospital which is in a couple of kms distance. The chance of survival would have been a big zero had it been in any other case. Anyone can guess what happens when one falls under a moving train.

Baba devotees experience a different thing altogether. He survived but with major fractures and injuries and was bedridden for long and was gradually recovering. After coming to consciousness her husband told her that he has seen Baba hugging him tight before he became unconscious at the time of accident. Since then the lady whom we met started visting Shiridi once a year along with the kids that Baba had saved her Husband – the head of her family. This trip has made a strong imprint in my mind and heart about Baba. It was ‘DURING THIS PERIOD’ I started to MEMORIZE all the olden days – right from the “TEMPLE OF OLD MAN AND ROSES”.

During the same time I had the opportunity of going to Shirdi – infact a sudden wind fall of luck - along with one old couple who were closely associated with this temple. Infact, my trip was fixed in the eleventh hour since my parents were against sending me with an unknown family but later they agreed after I requested them a lot for permission and luckily the tickets were also available.

We reached shirdi and soon we got our room also without much difficulty. It was January,1986. We bathed and immediately rushed for lunch since it was getting 2 pm. Resting for a while, (since the couple whom I accompanied were old), we went to Samadhi Mandir, Dwarakamai, offered incense sticks to Dhuni and collected lots of Udi (that time the Udi was collected by devotees themselves from Dhuni). From there we did Shopping and then went to Lendi.

We visited Samadhis of Abdul baba and others including ShyamaKarna. Worshipped Nanda deepam and reached back Samadhi Mandir for Dhoop Aarti. I was standing besides a teenaged girl who was singing all the Aartis with full devotion and involvement. She looked very beautiful. I felt bad that I did not know any bhajans or Aartis. However, I convinced my self that I did not know Marathi and need not learn since wrong pronunciation may cause problems. I was looking at that girl for a long instead of looking at Baba. I liked the most the Aarti“Ruso mama priyambika majavari....” though I didn't know the meaning then. But I, now, meaningfully sing that Aarti visualizing me and Baba. Later, we again went around- to chavadi, Lakshmibai’s house (took darshan of the NINE coins gifted by Baba) and Marthandji’s (Shri Mahalsapatiji’s Son) house. Everything was hurry burry. Too many places to visit and time available was short.

The most luckiest part of that evening was we had the darshan of Masterji – Shri Ekkirala Bhardwaja swamy (he was meditating in Dwarakamai in front of Dhuni – the exact spot where Baba used to sit) and Shri Sivanesan Swamyji . But the saddest part of this was I realized this fact only after few years of my return from Shirdi and recognized them when I saw their photos in some books. Infact it was Sivanesan Swamiji who had shown us the way to the house of Lakshmibaiji. I did not even prostrate to them. It is like realizing the God after HE disappears. I never met them again and both of them have joined Baba now. But I feel contented that I was in the vicinity of their divine AURAS atleast for a short while.

The next day we attended Kakad aarti, In the shrine, after Darshan, as devotees keep moving out, the Pujaris take the flower garlands from Baba, throw them on the crowds and whoever gets hold of them take them home. This appeared something considered lucky. The people in the crowd were ready to catch them right. I prayed to Sai that I too should get one and within a second one white lily garland was thrown on me without me putting any effort to catch it. I brought it to the room.

We came to the room. But I was not feeling satisfied. I told the old couple that I will be back by lunch time and I went to the Mandir. It was totally empty. I sat just in front of Baba and started looking at him for long till it started getting crowded for Madhyana Aarti. Now I was reminded of the lily garland that I got in the morning. ButI thought could it be a mere coincidence. So this time I prayed Sai that I should get “karabbanti” flower (small red Bhakkal flowers – Since that was not on Sai that time) garland the way the lily garland was thrown on me. Just within two minutes, some body offered a karabbanti garland and the same was put on Baba and immediately thrown right on me. What a wonderful and instantaneous reply Baba has for me. “OM SAMARTHA SADGURU SATCHITANANDA SRI SAINATH MAHARAJ KI JAI!

That night we attended the Kirtan and the Shejaarti. But, I could not control my sleep during shejaarti and came back to room in between and dozed off. After sometime, I woke up and went to meet the old couple; but the Aarti was not yet over and I was happy to attend the balance part of the aarti. It is still a mystery for me as to how could it happen? I walked all the way from Mandir to the room in the 2nd floor, slept off, woke up after I felt a bit OK, then got up, locked the room and walked back; still the Aarti was continuing – this looked like another MIRACLE.“OM SAMARTHA SADGURU SATCHITANANDA SRI SAINATH MAHARAJ KI JAI!

Many such experiences I had proving Baba was with me throughout the trip. We went to take Godavari matha’s darshan and learnt that she just then left for rest. However, in the evening we participated in the Vishnu sahasranama pooja and kolattam by the gopis in the Ashram. The only bad experience I had was with the old lady who pestered me to do this work and that work (eg. the used clothes should be washed in Shirdi itself though I carried sufficient number of dresses, etc). My thinking was to spend as much time as possible in the Mandir. I would rush to Mandir leaving them in the room and without giving them company. She was sour on me but my priority was different. Om Sai Ram! Later she never spoke to me. But I sincerely feel indebted to them that they were instrumental in my first Shirdi Trip.

After coming from Shirdi, I started missing that place and started to long for another darshan along with my mother. I told my mother about what all we have seen in shiridi again and again. Till then she did not visit Shirdi.

Kavitha Garu, Your artictles are heart rendering.Looks like Baba is with you guiding each and every moment of your life.Even I am from Hyderabad.Currently at NewYork.Currently my family is undergoing through a tough phase in my life emotionally.I saw this site a couple of days of ago while surfing the internet,and your articles has given me lot of confidence ,hope and peace to move forward in life.

I am happy to read that you are also from Hyderabad. Why fear when Baba is here ? All problems will get solved on thier own. Just one thing is we should not meddle with them.

To be more clear, any problem is like a child running high fever and insisting to have an Icecream, immediately. Do we get such a child an icecream ? NO. We either pretend having not listended OR try to divert the child OR just keep quiet leaving the child cry for some time so that it would come to terms. Similarly, more the importance the problems are given more they pester us.

After I was posted at Hyderabad, I was oppurtuned to spend the whole Sundays in Baba’s temple mostly. It was at that time my grandfather gifted to my mother a book authored by Master E. Bharadwaj – a great devotee of Baba - an incarnation of Baba himself named “ Sai Leelamritham” in telugu. That was our Satchritra and we did not know about the Satcharita by Shri. Hemadpant. "Sai Leelamritham is in other words is a detailed Satcharitra along with several unimaginable experiences of the sai devotees and also gives some research work by the author.

The Sai Leelamritham authored by Pujya Sri Acharya Ekkirala Bharadwaja – a great devotee of Sai Baba, is also the author of several works on Baba and other great saints such as Shri Akkalkot Maharaj, Tajuddin Baba, Matha Anasuya, …….in various languages. He had done a lot of research also.

On every Sivarathri day we used to wake up throughout the night and spend in going to /watching on TV -cinemas, or spend in some entertainment. That year, we thought we would read Sai Leelamritham. My sister’s friend Meerabai, her elder sister who is a very loving and affectionate lady and a close friend of my mother – Anasuyabai and I and my mother did the reading in rotation basis so that everybody would get a chance to read out Sai leelas to others on that auspicious day.

My mother was totally responsible rather, Baba has entrusted my mother the task of taking these two sisters to HIS temple. Earlier they were not aware of Baba or his Leelas. Both of them and their old mother (Kannadigas) are very good at heart and though they suffered severe financial problems and many other problems (they lost their two earning brothers – bread winners, within a gap of one year), they would always extended to others happiness and were content. They are very pious; observe all customs and worship Raghavendra, Srikrishna etc.

Meerabai had umpteen experiences in a very short period of time that she has decided to stay serving Baba throughout the life and today she is transformed into “Mata Yashodamma” in the Aashram (Boinapalli – Hyd’bad) attached to the Baba temple (Padmarao nagar). Even though she has attained such a high position spiritually, she is so simple and she tells my mother “I am always grateful to you aunty. You have shown me the right path”.

I many a time felt jealous of her and am little angry with Baba that he has not given me such an opportunity though I craved for it a lot. My mother insisted that I should go in for marriage and bear children when I strongly opposed to the proposals of marriage and she finally won.