Cooking With Gwyneth

One of my great cooking heroes is the famous Hollywood Actor Gwyneth Paltrow.

I like her because she has a no nonsense approach to cooking and uses the finest locally sourced, organic produce, just like me.

But what shall I cook for Gwyneth? Looking for inspiration I turned to her incredible food blog and was inspired by this amazing quote

There’s nothing I like more than relaxing in the kitchen with a few basic ingredients and a glass of wine

RIGHT! Off to the local grocery store we go and lets see what we can find:

To be fair, my local grocery store was kind of limited in what it sells but this is not a problem because Gwyneth is pretty strict on ingredients with her eliminator diet and all so here we have a celeriac root, some mushrooms and a bottle of Buckfast 2013 vintage wine.

So what to do with these astonishing ingredients? I reckon I’m going to roast the celeriac in the vintage wine and serve that with a mushroom sauce. Gwyneth is going to be so proud.

First, I clean and peel the celeriac and place with half a bottle of Buckfast into a roasting pot and I’m going to add to the flavour by adding a whole stack of spices like clove, fennel, cumin and cinammon and I’m going to place this in an oven at 130C for 2 hours:

While the celeriac is roasting I chop the mushroom and fry in some butter, also add in some chicken bones from a Tesco Metro roasted chicken (Gwyneth eats chicken, this is A OK).

After the mushroom has cooked right down I add cream and blend:

So how’s the Buckfast infused celeriac roast doing?

So let’s plate up by adding the mushroom sauce :

So, how’s it taste – and most importantly – would Gwyneth be proud?

Oh, where for art thou Gwyneth? Such a dish tasteth so foul as to aggrieve my very soul most horribly. The Buckfast hast intensifiedeth its most peculiar flavours and overwhelms my delicate senses! Oh Gwyneth, will thou forgiveth me!

That’s a no by the way. The mushroom sauce is nice though.

So overall, a bit of a disaster; I think the Buckfast was from the wrong vintage. And I don’t like celeriac anyway. But have you tried cooking with Buckfast? Do you are an elimination diet Gwyneth fan?

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12 thoughts on “Cooking With Gwyneth”

I think I’d have been inclined to go down the Glasgow elimination diet route. Two bottles of uncooked Buckie in a glass and eliminate the vegetables. Californian celebs don’t know it all when it comes to cooking.

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