ELSEWHERE ON THE GTP NETWORK:

British comedian Russell Brand reveals that Katy Perry, of “I Kissed A Girl” fame will give Madonna’s “Like A Virgin” a revival on the upcoming VMA awards. Russell says:

â€œThereâ€™s a lot of virginity and lesbianism going on at the show. The VMAs are going to be so great that Christina Aguilera is willing to risk her newborn babyâ€™s sight!

Hmmm. Not so sure about the virginity part. Just sayin’! Christina is set to perform her new track â€œKeeps Getting Better,â€ and says:

Youâ€™re going to get a first look and a first listen at my new image and my new sound. The last album, the style and sound was about vintage glam – this one is all about the future. This will be his first time Max can watch me perform on television, but only for a little while because heâ€™s not really allowed to watch television yet. Iâ€™ll make an exception for the VMAs.

Max’s eyesight is already ruined from getting punched every day by Christina’s funbags! Britney Spears will also make an appearance at the opening of the show, but the leaks say it won’t be a live performance. Russell says she WON’T be giving herself a head-shave or be serving canapes. Maybe Brit-Brit’s just gonna recycle her crazy elevator footage from Madonna’s Sticky and Sweet tour! Kanye West is gonna close the show. Let’s hope he is not still pissed.