Has anyone ever heard of this? Is it possible. My mother is 83. And eats more now that I have been living with her for five months. Also I lost my Father in Feb after fighting many chronic issues, and I feel she thinks Christmas is still the same as always. She never mentions him. He was my BEST FRIEND

7 Answers

I agree with GardenArtist, I also found that if I take an iron tablet once in awhile my thinking is much clearer. Yet I wasn't malnourish. I mentioned this to my primary doctor but she didn't agree one way or another.

I will be talking more soon. But I just wanted to say thank you for letting me in the GROUP. I am preparing some foods for xmas eve for my sons and my mother. It is very difficult to do, as my Father to me, are the lights on the tree, and the cool whip on the pie. Love everyone, Valrvn

If malnutrition was a factor in the impairment, fixing that problem will go a long way toward fixing the impairment. Even if the impairment was not caused by malnutrition, good health, including a healthy weight and reasonable nutrition and physical activity makes for a better quality of life. Are you seeing improvements in your mother?

My mother is 95. Dad has been gone about 20 years. My husband died 3 years ago. It would be so welcome to me to be able to discuss widowhood with her, and for us to be able to comfort each other and enjoy memories of Dad. But she is not aware that either of them are gone. It is very strange. My mother has dementia.

People who are cognitively impaired (from whatever cause) may no longer live fully in the current reality.

I am so sorry that you and your mother cannot give mutual comfort for the loss of you best friend. I hope you share your memories and pain with someone else close to you. I also hope you will not let this impairment of your mother's interfere with a loving relationship between you. It most likely does not reflect her relationship with your dad.

valrvn - my father was my best friend, had been for the 30 years prior to his passing. I was daddy's little girl from the start. My dad passes 3 1/2 years ago - I am still bitter and angry at my mother at the circumstances regarding how he spent his last few years and even how he passed - but that's a long story for a different tread. I haven't been able to greive his passing as from that moment on my mother became my responsibility and she is a handful. In the beggining I would get mad as she was more wrapped up in being the "grieving widow" than she did in actually grieving. Her insurance provided her with a grief counsler which she used - but mom was sure p.o.'d when the counsler said she wouldn't see her anymore because all mom wanted to talk about was her childhood and how her sister got all their parents attention. It's only been recently that my mom actually seems to miss my dad and I wonder if it isn't more about her loss of friends and activities - a general loneliness than it is about my dad. BUT I try to remind myself they were married 62 years and I will never fully know or understand the ins and outs of their complicated, co-dependent, dysfunctional relationship. I do know that until the day he died my dad still loved my mother deeply. So there must be something there - and I try to be understanding that she may have her grief in her own way. I need to believe that.

Yes, decent nutrition can sure help. But, don't hold it against her that she does not face her own grief and honor your dad's memory the way you can and do; there could be any number of reasons she just can't.

If the cognitive impairment was due to thiamine loss, the MD can give a thiamine injection which helps. Ask the doctor to do a blood test.She may not mention Dad because it is too painful for her to even think about. If she wants Christmas to be the same, try to make it so.

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