BRADY'S BUNCH

This may be my favorite small-town weekly newspaper item of the young year to date: in The Independent, the East Hampton paper in which Jerry Della Femina has a financial interest, the crime beat column compiled by Kitty Merrill reported, "Everybody was too busy getting loaded, having fights, slipping on the black ice and preparing for the Super Bowl to commit any thefts last week."

You're kidding me. A distinguished medical journal found that drivers using cell phones while at the wheel have more accidents than the rest of us?

Onward & upward at Yahoo! Internet Life, the hot consumer book about Internet content, where Publisher Jim Spanfeller promoted Kristin Edgell Ford and Susan Brass from the sales force to district managers in San Francisco and N.Y.

Toni Apgar is the new group publishing director for Vegetarian Times, Natural Remedies and Country Journal.

At Meigher Communications, they promoted Mark Drucker to national ad director for Garden Design.

Fascinating piece in the March GQ by Michael Gross, who makes the point that People, far from being a weekly puff job, actually does good, hard-hitting work, and as a result is anything but popular with some flacks and Hollywood egos. Gross quotes Time Inc. Editor in Chief Norm Pearlstine as telling the board his proudest boast is not having "done anything to screw up People."

Let's hear it for Sport Diver of Winter Park, Fla. Compared with '95, the magazine's '96 sales were up 82 pages or 41%. The whole category was down 300 pages or 9%.

Former top ad man John Doman has a featured role in this new off-Broadway play at the American Place Theatre, "Robbers," by Lyle Kessler.

Hearst Magazines, Lifetime Television for Women, and the international editions of Cosmo host a private dinner March 10 at the Park Avenue Cafe Townhouse in Manhattan where they'll honor Ad Age's "25 Women to Watch." The official lunch is next day at the Sheraton New York Hotel. For lunch info and reservations call Ad Women of N.Y. at (212) 593-1950.

We know the swimsuit issue is good to look at, but does it sell? Sports Illustrated reports this year's edition (the first edited by Elaine Farley) was up 30 ad pages (to 107 last year) and that revenue rose by $20 million over a year ago. They credit Ms. Farley. And the bikini.

Ladies' Home Journal (and Editor Myrna Blyth and Publisher Michael Brownstein) give out their One Smart Lady award March 12 at a Rainbow Room lunch. The winnah? Rosie O'Donnell.

It's "the tools" and not "The Rules," insists March Mademoiselle. Editor Elizabeth Crow says you can forget the latter, the book that told women how to find a husband, and so irked feminists. "The tools," by writer Ellen Tien, are more practical tips on getting ahead in "love, sex and work." Check them out, says Elizabeth.

Someone sent a copy of the current Aspen. Nice job. Editor's Janet O'Grady and