I’m calling shenanigans on this one. There is no way that this wasn’t nothing more than a cleverly orchestrated ruse.

In the video, Bear, the Utah Jazz mascot, is supposedly presenting some random Jazz fan with a birthday cake. But trouble ensues as Bear “accidentally” drops the cake over the ledge of the upper deck of Energy Solutions Arena and looks on in horror (?) — regardless of whether or not this was staged, is it really possible to ascertain the emotional state of a mascot? — as it drops onto the heads of unsuspecting fans seated in the lower level below. Hey, that’s the price you pay to be seated with the beautiful people, I guess. Well, that an the exorbitant ticket prices.

Anyway, as I mentioned above, I’m calling shenanigans. The entire spectacle reeks of feigned “Oops! Look what I did!” actions, not to mention the fact that there were not one, but two cameras strategically placed in just the right spots throughout the arena that they were able to capture the entire scene of the cake’s plummet from the upper deck of the arena onto the fans from multiple angles.

Sorry, I’m just not buying it. And I will have you know that Utah Jazz greats Karl Malone and John Stockton likely would not buy it, either. Probably. But how in the heck am I supposed to know that? Stop hassling me, bro. Why don’t you go and ask them yourself?