Kayfabe Commentaries is back with their “YouShoot” series, an ongoing installment of wrestler interviews where the fans ask the questions via e-mails, Twitter, & YouTube videos. The subject or “victim” this time around is none other than Sean Waltman, former X-Pac/1-2-3 Kid/Syxx, here to take on the public’s inquiries about wrestling, drugs, sex, & sh*t. Well, mostly the last three for which Pac is ironically more notorious, as opposed to his wrestling career.

Waltman, while polarizing to most, is actually a fascinating case study in what is both right & wrong about the current state of professional wrestling. Back in 1991, his Global Wrestling Federation matches with Jerry Lynn were ground-breaking & exciting for the time period, much like the Samoa Joe/AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels contests of the early part of this century. I remember recognizing him immediately when he debuted on RAW in 1993 and wondering if he was going to live up his potential on the big stage. Well, maybe not quite those thoughts, as my underdeveloped smark brain had yet to read its first Wrestling Tribune and learn the inner workings of pro wrestling. All I knew was that I knew Pac was good and hoped for the best. He was the Kaval or Daniel Bryan of his time in terms of underground support, thrust into the national spotlight with high expectations. His star-making turn against Razor Ramon (Scott Hall) completely exposes the simplicity of how to get someone over in the eyes of the fans in a short amount of time, and yet today, we are subjected to an endless stream of Kaval losses & Daniel Bryan humiliations. In the waning Hogan era of the WWF of that time, Waltman’s success was one of the greatest things to happen to the industry, opening the door for the smaller, more agile wrestler to thrive.

You have to admit that Pac is a pretty lucky guy. Not only has he lived to tell his long, sordid tale of debauchery, but also his physical prime lasted nearly for ten years, mired in a sea of concussions & broken bones. Eventually his matches & presence fell into the same category shared by Lex Luger & the band Monster Magnet, of things that were, at the time, both ubiquitous & largely worthless. His match with Road Dogg at SummerSlam 2000 was the embodiment of mid-card banality, exposing a stale DX act that the fans had grown tired of. “X-Pac heat” or not, Waltman’s appeal wasn’t fresh anymore, and as a wrestler, there was no intention to reinvent himself. But enough of the subjective history lesson, let’s get into the DVD:

– Kayfabe Commentaries host Sean Oliver welcomes Pac to the proceedings and commends him for his bravery.

EARLY CAREER

What were your memories of pro wrestling as a child?

– Waltman grew up in Tampa and got into wrestling through the old Championship Wrestling from Florida program with “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, Blackjack Mulligan, & “The Devil” Kevin Sullivan. Pac has automatically gone up one million style points in my book. He knew right away that he wanted to be a wrestler, and since he had a connection at the Tampa CWF venue, he was able to take the ring gear to the back and get close to the action.

What was it like training under Boris Malenko?

– Boris, the patriarch of the famed Malenko clan, was the one who taught him the amateur style, and given his lanky stature, Waltman took to it pretty well. There was a point where he was being groomed for shoot fighting the UWF, but the showy nature of American pro wrestling was too much to pass up.

Video from Man with a Moustache: What obstacles did he encounter from being smaller than the typical wrestler?

– Pac remembers that since he was smaller, it was necessary to take huge bumps and kill himself every night. The irony is that Waltman is scared of heights, but managed to overcome his fear in order to get over with the fans. Talk about radical therapy…

In regards to your match with Sabu in 1993, what was it like to work with Sabu then, and why do you think he never got a fair shot at WCW or the WWE?

– In his opinion, his match with Sabu may have been critically acclaimed for the time, but after recent viewings, it wasn’t that great. If anything, Pac feels that he & Sabu had better matches in 3PW over a decade later, probably because they knew how to work then, as opposed to 1993.

Global Memories: What was it like wrestling in the Dallas Sportatorium?

– Waltman was always a huge fan of World Class Championship Wrestling. The opportunity to partake in the legendary ambiance of the Sportatorium was tremendous. The ring may have been hard as concrete, but it was an honor, dammit! Pac also recalls meeting some great people, including the late Skandor Akbar. I’d love to know who owns the Global tapes, because Waltman’s Lighting Kid days, as well as the early Patriot stuff, is some great viewing.

Did WCW want to sign you after your tryout back in 1992?

– In a rare bit of trivia (even for Pac), The Lighting Kid had a tryout match with Bob Cook at a WCW television taping in May 1992. Waltman puts Cook over huge, since he knew Cook trained with Malenko and was a great hand in the ring. Unfortunately, this match happened at the tail end of the “Kip Frey does awesome things” phase of WCW. Shortly afterwards, “Cowboy” Bill Watts replaced Frey and started banning top rope moves, thus eliminating the necessity for Sean & his aerial skills. Oddly enough, during his 1995 WWF tenure, Watts praised Pac’s work.

GOSSIP

What was the deal with Tammy Sytch (Sunny) and her supposed relationship with Shawn Michaels? Did she have relations with other wrestlers while committed to Chris Candido?

– Oliver explains that since Tammy has done a Honky Tonk Man and clammed up on shoots, there have been a lot more questions asked about her past exploits.

– As far as Waltman is concerned, he can’t call Tammy a liar, nor can he call Kevin Nash or Kevin Kelly liars, both of who have relayed stories regarding her sexual ventures. Pac is noticeably nervous here. He does confirm that neither him nor Nash had sexual relations with that woman. Shawn, on the other hand, may or may not have hit it.

The Ho Bag!

– I’m not going to give much away, but what you need to know is that Lillian Garcia has a huge bush, with Tori coming in second place in the “Pubic Hair Relay.” For most part, the girls that Oliver mentions are all cool by Waltman, which is no surprise given his relatively easy-going nature. It either that or “I don’t know,” which is kayfabe for “#34 on the Wrestling Sleaze thread.”

Video from guy that looks like the guy from USA’s Royal Pains: How genuine is Ted DiBiase when it comes to his ministry?

– Pac thinks only Ted knows how truly genuine & dedicated he is to the word of God (obviously). The more people bring it up, the more I get the impression that Ted DiBiase was a madman and a huge d*ck back in the day. Waltman feels that as long as Ted isn’t like Jake “The Snake” Roberts, who used to preach by day and smoke crack at night, then he’s okay by him.

Who had total disregard for locker room etiquette and how was it addressed?

– The only glaring example Pac can come up with is Juventud Guerrera. During Waltman’s stint with AAA, Juvi went to the media, started talking some serious trash about him, and shared personal details that Pac didn’t want public (more on this later). In retaliation, Waltman sh*t in Juvi’s bag, which made the entire AAA roster pop huge.

Did Brian Knobs ever piss on his stuff?

– No, but according to Pac, Knobs is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when it comes to booze. He shares a story about getting into a fistfight with Knobs at the House of Blues in New Orleans back when both were in WCW (which led to shots afterwards).

Four words: “Plane Ride From Hell”

– Waltman was a big part of madness that was the ill-fated transatlantic flight that resulted in the loss of Michael Hayes’ mullet, along with the firing of Curt Hennig. He claims he’s been on worse commercial flights where guys have had their shoelaces set on fire, so this was relatively tame.

– Basically, the wrestlers were indulging in their vices (booze, GHB, pills, etc.), and it all went downhill. Ric Flair was strutting in nothing but his robe, Hayes nearly wizzed on Linda McMahon, and of course, the infamous Lesnar vs. Hennig grappling battle in the aisle.

– Pac was the culprit who sheared off Michael Hayes’ famous locks. In his recount, he was fed up with Hayes constantly putting Edge, Christian, & The Hardy Boyz in the TLC matches, as opposed to learning how to get over without the sake of gimmicks. I wouldn’t be so sure that E&C and the Hardys were forced into these matches, but Pac does have a point. Anyways, Waltman did his best Brutus Beefcake impression, drawing a huge reaction from the crew and triumphantly displaying his work at the subsequent television tapings.

Could Pac hang with “The Nature Boy” in terms of partying?

– Flair apparently does wuss drinks like Kamikazes and can’t handle the hard stuff like Jack Daniels. He just tosses the shots over his shoulders, not partaking in the “gargle rule” initiated by Curt Hennig. Maybe Flair keeps getting “iced” on purpose…

Did Waltman save Rob Feinstein’s life from certain death at the hands of Scott Hall?

– Hall & Pac were set to do a shoot with RF Video, but Hall was in no condition for, well, anything. Waltman wasn’t about to let his friend be exploited in such a state. Unfortunately, during the set-up, Hall got super-offended by something Feinstein said, prompting Pac to save the day and allow for future Billy Jack Haynes rants to be captured on video.

Where you ever ribbed by Owen Hart?

– Waltman recalls being an accomplice on many a rib perpetrated by the late Hart brother. Bret was a frequent victim, particularly because he was uber-serious when compared to his good-humored brother. We are also privy to a way that wrestlers save money: riding with the fans to the next show. Owen did it, Foley did it, and as of mid-2005, I witnessed Paul London & Jimmy Yang doing it, so there you go.

Bubba the Love Sponge: true talent or Hogan butt-sniffer?

– Many have a love/hate relationship with Bubba, but according to Pac, he’s pretty talented at what he does on the radio. Regardless, he added nothing to TNA, and the Awesome Kong beat down was a brutal sight to behold.

Thoughts on Vince McMahon & the McMahon family

– Waltman gives a great assessment of Vince, saying he is a good person that does bad things. Simply put, if he has it out for you, then he will make you miserable anyway possible. Pac, however, can complain about how he was treated & how he was represented on television.

How did the Chyna/Triple H/Stephanie McMahon love triangle come about?

– Waltman used to ride with Chyna & HHH until their arguments made him uncomfortable. The typically reserved Triple H started referring to the psychotic nature of Chyna, which eventually led him to Steph. Pac feels that HHH is the perfect guy for Stepanie & the McMahon family, since he has a relatively spotless past and doesn’t have any emotional baggage or drug problems.

Did “The Macho Man” Randy Savage bang Stephanie when she was thirteen? And how big is Batista’s d*ck?

– Waltman claims ignorance on both subjects, as expected with the latter (a running joke from the Maria Kanellis “YouShoot”). As for Steph/Savage, I think everyone who was around back then knows something but is afraid to share, for it is the key that will unlock Vince’s rage and turn him into a fire-breathing golem.

TNA

Video from Danielle: What happened to your most recent TNA outing?

– As most are aware, TNA claims Pac purposely no-showed the Lockdown Pay-Per-View, but Waltman says they knew he failed his Missouri physical and wasn’t going to be there.

– From what Pac has seen, Russo has always been in charge of creative. There really hasn’t been any evidence otherwise.

Is TNA a joke to the wrestling business?

– It’s definitely not a joke: People want it to succeed. Waltman concludes that TNA needs to get with the times, and if that requires a shake-up in management, so be it. Heyman had some radical plans in the works, but at least it would be better than what they have now. The problem, Pac says, is that TNA keeps going back to the old guard, ignoring their quality homegrown talent like The Motor City Machine Guns.

Video from TNA’s Jesse Neal at a live event telling Waltman that he misses having him around

– Pac immediately lights up, because he loves working with the younger wrestlers and teaching them in the ring. He puts over Jesse big time and pegs him as a future star with great instincts in the ring. This was really cool to see. Plus, Jesse Neal looks just like Shifty Shellshock from Crazy Town. Tell me he doesn’t…

CHYNA

When did they hook up? What did he find attractive about Chyna?

– After he got released from the WWE, Waltman ended up in Los Angeles with Alicia Webb (Ryan Shamrock). That didn’t work, so he visited Chyna, who was training at Antonio Inoki’s dojo. He didn’t think much of her in terms of a relationship, but as he puts it, she sunk her hooks into him, and the rest was history. Pac maintains that while she isn’t attractive now, Chyna was quite delectable in her Playboy days.

Was she on steroids?

– Absolutely, as if you couldn’t tell already. He even got some “juice” from her, so it was definitely present in their relationship. Also, the ‘roids may have been responsible for her tremendous clitoris. Speaking of which…

Video from cardboard cutouts of Triple H, Sylvester Stallone, Dusty Rhodes, Kane, & others: What was the deal? Does Chyna have a penis?

– Waltman has no shame in demonstrating his, ahem, style by using his ring finger as a model. If anything, he was able to pleasure her more efficiently because of abnormally large clitoris. And, by his account, this was not the first time he’s encountered such a trait.

Video from an overweight masked man with large breasts: What was sex with Chyna like, being a muscular Amazon and all? Did she give good oral treats?

– For Pac, sex with a muscular woman is no different than sex with any other woman. He’s done all the races, even a Pakistani. As for fellatio, Waltman describes Chyna’s prowess as being able to “suck the chrome off a bumper” or “pretty good.”

Who came up with the idea to do a sex tape?

– This was a period for both Pac & Chyna where they were heavily into drugs. Waltman admits that he is passive by nature and easily manipulated. Once Chyna got a bug in her ear about doing a tape, he just went along.

How much money did he make?

– Pac wishes he never did the tape, because of the effect it had on his family. He did make 250K when it was all said & done. Chyna made more, but she won’t admit it. Talk returns to Chyna’s big clitoris, prompting Waltman to question whether or not she might be a hermaphrodite. Sean Oliver’s reaction to this comment is worth the DVD price alone.

Has he spoken to Chyna recently?

– Not since he dropped her off at rehab in Los Angeles. Essentially for him, it had to be a clean break, since she was doing nothing but dragging him further into a drug-fueled abyss that had no escape.

SEX

How did you get to copulate with Jenna Jameson?

– Mark Madden, the former WCW announcer, was able to introduce the two at a Pittsburgh RAW show. Later on in the evening/morning, Pac was at the strip club where Jenna was performing, he ended up on stage, and then yadda yadda yadda.

How many conquests has he had in wrestling and with whom?

– There weren’t that many official ones, if you don’t count fellatio. But if you do, then you got Tori, Chyna (of course), Ryan Shamrock, & Nidia (with whom he had a summer romance).

Video from a balding fan: Did you ever get the chance to hook up with any of The Godfather’s hoes?

– The Godfather’s hoes were, in fact, strippers from the local establishments. You would think that this would be a slam-dunk for the boys, but that wasn’t the case. The hoes were actually kept separate from the rest of the crew, including the Divas.

DRUGS

Favorite drug? Favorite drink?

– For Waltman, its weed & Patron Silver

Video from Justin: Will you smoke up with me?

– Pac isn’t shy so absolutely there, Justin. He smokes with fans all the time apparently. You learn something new every day.

The “Roll-A-Joint” Challenge

– In the Sabu “YouShoot,” Sabu logged a time of 19.21 seconds to roll a quality blunt. Waltman is game and beats the record in 18 seconds flat!

Video from Major Johnson: Does Vince McMahon smoke up?

– Pac has never seen him do it, but he’s pretty sure that he has at one point or another. These days, Vince is a Dewar’s man. Ah Dewar’s, the antidote to road rage.

What’s the weirdest place that he’s ever passed out?

– Nothing immediately springs to mind, but there was the time he passed out in the hotel lobby of the Stamford Hilton, where Shawn Michaels pushed him around in the luggage cart.

What’s In The Bag?

– Sean Oliver produces a bag full of faux drug paraphernalia. Not many surprises here, although Curt Hennig has the distinction of being named twice.

MEXICO

Thoughts on working for AAA?

– The talent that Waltman worked with in Mexico was awesome. Everything else…not so much. The treatment of talent & ring conditions was deplorable, with most talent making only $100 a night. There was also some disagreements between Pac & the Roldan family over his compensation & other promises they failed to keep.

What happened in Mexico with his suicide attempt & near-death experience?

– Since AAA wasn’t paying well, Waltman starting running into financial problems. Combined with his girlfriend Alicia’s ongoing custody problems, stress started to build up. Alicia wouldn’t let him smoke weed, so he turned to alcohol. One night in the midst of a really bad argument, Pac ended up striking Alicia. The shame of hitting a woman was too much to bear, so he took a bunch of Valiums, downed it with some Patron, and hung himself off the roof. He was legally dead, but thankfully Alicia saved him. After spending sometime in intensive care, Alicia & Kevin Nash got him into a WWE-sponsored rehab program in Houston, TX.

– Waltman told this story to Juvi, who went ahead and started spreading it all over the media, which really embarrassed Pac.

– Waltman gives high marks to the WWE rehab program. He did more time than he had to, feeling that his substance abuse & mental state were far worse, and he needed to clean up. Pac also says that Scott Hall is doing well in rehab and should pull through stronger than before.

SH*T

What’s the weirdest place or object that you sh*t in?

– The oddest place was probably in a Wendy’s cup. This leads to a story of a rib (more of a retaliation) against former WCW jobber & OVW trainer, Rip Rogers. Rip apparently tried to steal money from Waltman back in the day, so a turd in his bag was payback. The strangest part of the story was Rip was backstage at a WWE taping looking for work. In his possession was a art photo book of lewd photos of young boys that he was proudly sharing with Pat Patterson. As Robocop would say, “Justice has been served.”

What sort reward do you get from crapping in people’s belongings?

– For Pac, it’s the possibility of getting caught that is the most fun. This leads to the story of Sable’s last night with the WWE in England. Sable was not very well-liked, so the boys decided to give her a little going-away present. The way it was planned out was someone (possibly JBL) left a cup of sh*t somewhere backstage. Just before Waltman was supposed to head to the ring, he feigned a piss attack, found the sh*t, dumped in Sable’s bag, and then got to the gorilla position just in time to head out the curtain. Months later, Jim Ross asked Pac if it was him.

Did he crap in Mark Henry’s sandwich?

– While he was the culprit that placed a dookie in Sunny’s chicken pasta, he was not the one to do the same to Mark Henry’s meatball sub. By all accounts, Waltman wasn’t with the WWE when the incident occurred. Oddly enough, I believe him.

Creating The Perfect Sh*t Sandwich

– From this segment, I learned three very important rules:

(1.) You need to make it undetectable until its too late

(2.) No seepage

(3.) Refolding the sandwich properly is key

HEAT

What does he think of the term “X-Pac heat” or “go-away heat?”

– To him, the whole notion that his presence warrants this alternate form of “heat” is absurd. In Pac’s opinion, there really isn’t a noticeable difference in cheers or boos. It’s simply a Pavlovian response like “Eddie Sucks” or “Angle Sucks.”

Who are, in his opinion, the most overrated wrestlers right now?

– Waltman, as expected, pleads the fifth, and goes with the old “I don’t really watch wrestling” defense. He speculates that maybe John Cena or Batista, because despite their connection with the fans, they don’t have the same wrestling prowess as Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Not really a convincing argument…

The Kliq’s heat with Shane Douglas

– The story goes that since Shane Douglas had a bad match with Pac, his push as Dean Douglas was immediately derailed. A match with Waltman was usually the litmus test for whether or not a wrestler would be able to hang in the WWE. Pac feels Douglas was saddled with a terrible gimmick, since Shane & himself had matches later in their career that were quite good. It also didn’t help Shane’s case that he was so accustom to the ECW style of the mid-1990’s.

Anything nice to say about Johnny Ace?

– Waltman feels that Johnny is good at what he does, but in his opinion, Jim Ross did it better. Ace can kiss ass with the best of them, no doubt about that. HHH & HBK tell him all the time no wants the Talent Relations job, and Johnny is the only one crazy & subservient enough to do it.

What A D*ck!

– Sean Oliver presents the penis-adorned bag, along with a bunch of names, similar to that of the “Ho Bag.” Pac is slightly more liberal this time around, bestowing d*ckiness to friends that were d*cks in the past (like Shawn Michaels). It does appear that he has minor heat with Paul Heyman over some comments that Heyman made about him recently. The best of the bunch is Kip James, who Pac deems a d*ck/friend and relays a story about Kip making Tori Spellng cry.

Heat with Dwayne Johnson? Mick Foley? Masahiro Chono?

– Despite rumors, Waltman & The Rock are good friends, and there is no animosity between them. The same goes for Foley, a belief that stemmed from a 2001 promo that Foley did on RAW. Pac puts the blame on head writer Brian Gewirtz, having some rather acerbic things to say about him. As for Chono, Waltman recalls being methed-out at a New Japan show where Chono gave Chyna a rough Mafia kick and freaking out. The incident corrected itself rather quickly and was largely forgotten.

Final Thoughts: And that’s “YouShoot: Sean Waltman” from the mighty Kayfabe Commentaries! Pac is a fun guest, but just like a lot of the higher-profile shoot interviews with former WWE stars, you can always tell there’s more story to be told. Nonetheless, Waltman comes off as very genuine & honest. When he’s talking about Jesse Neal, I get the real sense that he knows where he’s at in his career and relishes in the chance to help out the next generation of potential WWE & TNA stars. It is a shame that there wasn’t more talk about his philosophies on in-ring work & wrestling psychology as a veteran high-flyer that has had the opportunity to evolve as a worker. The dearth of discussion about Chyna & sh*t, while humorous, felt excessive. Then again, if that’s what the fans want to know about, who’s to argue? Maybe I should have sent in some questions, no?

Be sure to pick up your copy of “YouShoot: Sean Waltman,” plus tons of other great wrestling DVD’s over atwww.KayfabeCommentaries.com.

Check me out on Twitter right now (@AngryHeroShawn). You can also scope out my blog at www.FutureEndeavored.tumblr.com), as well as my short film SMARK over at www.SmarkMovie.tumblr.com). Catch you next time, and remember: Above all things — be a man!