Satire and pastiche … just in case you didn't realise

Cross border relationships

If you are travelling abroad or going abroad to live, beware: don’t fall in love unless you have a solid job. Don’t let chance or luck fool you – you will rue the consequences, my friend. You need an income of at least £18,600 to be allowed to bring your foreign (non-EU) spouse to live in the UK. If you have kids, you’ll need around another £2000 per child.

The Bard of Glastonbury is among those affected – he has an American wife (what was he thinking?).