Friday, July 31, 2009

Last time I was in Seattle visiting my family, I left my Mom's downtown office and spied a bar called "The Honey Pot." While it isn't offensive, mind you, I do think it lacks a little, well, panache. Now honey pot could refer to your nether region, your good stuff. But it is also what one company calls their mobile sh*tters. (eg: port-o-johns)

And once you know that, "Honey Pot" just loses any saucy allure it may have held.

So in the event you wanted more where this came from, and in the spirit of TGIF, here are the worst actual bar names I have heard and their location. Oh yes, I know some of them are a play on words, trust me. But really? That's the best you could do?

Pink Taco: LA

Whiskey Dix: Winnipeg

Happy Cock: Japan

Post Coitus: Japan

Labia: Tokyo

Manhole: Chicago (gay bar)

Dog and Sphincter: England

The Cock: Manhattan

The Wet Spot: Houston

Spread Eagle: Bury, England

The Quiet Woman: York, England (The logo is a woman carrying her severed head. And yes, perhaps this is the only way you will be sure she will be quiet.)

Cheers. And by all means, if you are savvy to additional names, tell all.

And all the fabulous commenters from Tuesday were placed in a magic hat from the finest of milliner's this morning. Thanks for celebrating my 6 month half-a-birthday-blog-o-versary.

The IHC Overnight giveaway winner is the wonderful AmyK at Life's Not a Cruise. One night off compliments of JennyMac. Congratulations.

PS: Someone asked me if I work there. No. I WISH. I would give away rooms galore and be on permanent vacation. I just know fab when I see it, and wanted to share it. Have a great weekend.

73 comments:

Sometimes I feel old and this is one of them. Smart humor, for me, is not obvious or easy. For me, Howard Stern, thought of as hysterically funny by many, is the king of stupid humor - obvious and easy. The funniest bar name in your list for me...the only funny bar name...was "The Quiet Woman" and only because it had her carrying her severed head. It was unique and I got a chuckle out of it. That's why I feel old. If I was 18-25, I'm sure I would think they were all clever. ;)

We have one bar here called "The Rooftop Library Bar". Its above a library, for obvious reasons... but I don't know why they had to include library in the name. Its so dark in the place I don't think anyone's going to be reading any books.

- Footlongs- Cream Nightclub- Minky's Social Club (which some people might not get, but I've heart some weirdos refer to their business as their "minky")- Double D - Slick & Peewees- P Palace- D & A One Stop

And since you're in Georgia, I know you've heard of Dick's?

There are tons...but yours are better. Not to mention that I find just about everything 'suggestive'.

in birmingham, alabama there is a gay bar called "the toolbox" and in montgomery, alabama there used to be a bar called "ho john" but it got closed down. we used to go all the time because it had the best drag revue.

How funny! I can't think of any right now but there are some very suggestive names out there.

And some of them are very original on the inside. There's a bar on an old part of Route 66 that has hundreds of bras hanging from the ceiling. Women come in and take off their bras and sign and date them and they are hung up.

I've only been there a couple of times. I left with mine still on both times.

I don't know if it's still there, but the Flyer & Firkin in Reading was suitably nonsensical. Also, but on a slight tangent, there's a pub over here with a restaurant franchise attached.... the charmingly named 'Swill & Grill'.

Gutted not to have won the night off, especially since I already listed it on eBay. Looks like THAT'S coming out of my own pocket..

In Cape Town we have an art movie house called the Labia. It's named after some countess. The Mount Nelson Hotel is next to the Labia. It's painted pink. The old joke goes: What's pink and next to the labia? The Mount Nelson.

During my many adventures I have run across a couple good ones:Nice Rack (billiards and bar), El Cajon, CAPeters, Portland, ORBoners, Newark, NJThe Back Door, Louisville, KyFluffers Club, London (don't know if this one is still open),Maneaters, Kansas City, MOand the best one (IMHO)Lake Peckerwood, somewhere in the mid-southern states...I was driving...and laughing!!

Not a lot. A few minor miracles perhaps. Preservation from death by meteorite-strike for example, or being trampled by herds of wildebeest.

The Cock Inn is a not uncommon pub name in England – I used to go to one such near where I last lived – and while it’s a handy pun (probably as much then as now), it stems from the equally unfortunately name sport of cock-fighting rather than as an example of blatant innuendo.

As others have already commented, The Spread Eagle is a fairly common pub name: it simply refers to a heraldic device; many pub names come from the aristocratic landowner and/or his coat of arms. The frequent use of ‘arms’ in pub names does give you the chance to say things like ‘I spent the night in the Queen’s (or King’s) Arms’.

And while I hesitate to correct you, as far as I know The Quiet Woman pub is in Derbyshire. The Headless Woman in Cheshire, with a similar signboard, doesn’t mess around with verbal ambiguities.