What it feels like to have kids but no career

Now, as her youngest child starts school, the difficult search for a job begins

I was having coffee with a friend the other day when she opened her cutlery drawer. "I sorted it out," she exclaimed. "I took out the whole drawer, cleaned it, then put everything back again."

"A morning well spent," I replied. We laughed.

Really, I wanted to cry and run out of her house screaming. The reality of her boredom and frustration hit home hard. I feel it, too; in fact, I feel like I'm drowning.

In September, my last "baby" started school. I have had 10 gorgeous years of full-time motherhood with four children. Now I am redundant. I've lost my day job, the thing that has defined me for so long, and it's miserable. I don't walk around the house in pyjamas, sobbing and sniffing the kids' pillows. I pick them up at 3pm, so it's not quite empty-nest syndrome - God help me when they start college. But