I haven't lost a sibling - I have lost my parents. What I've worked out is that it isn't something you ever "get over", but what does happen is that you learn to cope with it, you learn to sort of manage the grief. It's always something you carry around with you, but it doesn't (in the end) stop you being happy again.

Can you see him in your children at all? I see a lot of my parents in my DCs - it makes me realise they're not very far away at all. I hope you can get some comfort from that.

Please check out the counselling - I think it would be really helpful.

Hello Sparkly, really hope you've got lots of support in RL and people to talk to. I absolutely second what Hassled said above - such true grief as this is very much about coping and managing but the pain will lose intensity as time passes I promise.

In dark moments I find it helpful to focus on how lucky I was to have ever had that person in my life. And Hassled is right, you WILL experience happiness again.

Am so sorry for you and your family, it is agonising. Be gentle on yourself.

I am very sorry. If you cannot face councilling, would some online websites help? My dh lost his sister 10 years ago. He will never get over it. I like to think I help by talking about her, and keeping her memory alive, especially to her dcs.

I hope life gets better. I have feelings of guilt, I'm thinking of the future and all of us are going to start looking a lot older in photos and David will be forever 27, it feels like we will be leaving him behind, iykwim.How can someone be so full of life one day and not exist the next, still can't get my head around that one []

I have just noticed your last post, and didn't want to ignore it. I believe that there are many emotions a bereaved person goes through, and guilt is one of the main ones. He would have wanted you to move on and enjoy the rest of your lives x Did you lose him suddenly?

I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost a son and what I would say is that grief is exhausting. In my experience, the loss came in great waves - I found horse riding helped me have a brief 'break' between the waves.

The loss never goes away, it gets woven into your life and the gaps between the waves become longer. I am so sorry for you and your family at the loss of David.

i've only seen this thread now,Sparkly I lost my brother 3 years ago, his death was very sudden, i was talking on my phone to him one day and the next day he was dead without any warning. He collapsed and workand 2 hours later he was dead. i couldn't understand how or why, i'll never ever understand. Not a day goes by without me thinking of him - he always told me jokes and funny stories, nobody does this like him, we were both apple iphone/mac geeks nobody understands my love of apple computers like him. i often expect to get a text from him with a joke or a short message saying "u ok sis?"

It does get easier - i often thought that my life will never be the same again after he died - it is different, it DOES get easier and it hurts less.

I collected all the photos i could find of him and posted them on fbk and put them online for my nephews, his sons

i too think that as our family moves on and things happen and he's not there to see them he stays the age he was

One of my nephews got married last summer and his dad wasn't there to see it - he'd have been so proud - so i decided to make a speech as if i was the father of the groom i made a few jokes like he would have done and said how i know he would have been going round grinning like a cheshire cat with happiness and bursting with pride for his son getting married.

It was the 3rd anniversary of his death recently we all thought about him and grieved in our own way - and it didn't hurt so much, it just feels so desperately sad

Hi sparkly time does help a few months on it isnt surprising you are struggling with the sudden death of your brother. My brother was killed nearly 5 years ago and I still cry quite a bit. It is incredibly hard adapting to not having your sibling there.