Pardew says he has seen the incident "2,000 times now" and says he made a bad mistake in front of millions of television viewers.

He is ready to get help in keeping cool from the League Managers' Association and vowed to "become a better manager" after his clash with Meyler.

Reacting for the first time to his lengthy ban and £160,00 combined club and FA fine, Pardew said: "I think I want to reiterate my apologies to David (Meyler) and Steve (Bruce) and fans up and down the country and particularly my own who have been terrific supporting me, and Mike, for a situation I should not have been in.

"It was stupid. It was an independent panel and I was always going to accept their punishment. I sent a letter to Steve to say I was sorry and that I deeply regret it.

"At the time I did not think it was bad as it was on TV. I must have watched it 2,000 times now. The bottom line was I should never have got involved and walked forward when he (Meyler) pushed me."

Asked about the possibility of being sacked for the clash, Pardew said: "It is a relief (that his job is safe). Men make mistakes. I make mine in front of millions of people. When you make a mistake you have to pay a price. It was a hefty price. Mike acted swiftly (to fine him £100,000). I have to say in this interim period the backing I have had from the club in particular has been a big help because it has been difficult.

"I must become a better manager, I have 678 games and only had one touchline ban. I spoke to the LMA about some consultant issues I could look at. I am going to sit down from now on. I will get my head around it, and the way to take the team forward. But I won't take out my desire to win, and I have to channel it the right way."

Pardew says he will do his team talk and tactical planning in advance of the Fulham game so everyone knows their jobs.

He will watch from a hotel and said: "I have not nailed down the procedure for Saturday. The game plan is in place. It is not too dissimilar from what we do. John Carver I have 100 per cent trust in him to deliver that alongside some of our senior players. Colo is back and he needs to step up a level. I hope the game plan will work and John's job is not as difficult as it might be.

"I will be at the team hotel. I can deliver the game plan literally before they get on the bus instead of the changing room.

"I will have to trust John on how the game is evolving. He has worked with me long enough to know what I expect and the nature of the way we play, having a command of the game.

"I have a touchline ban before but not a stadium ban. My delivery to the players is that it can bring you together and a strength as a team. John has leadership and Colo will support him on the pitch. It could work in our favour.