Does Hope Matter At The Face of Destiny?

How many times have you heard people say , “You Control Your Destiny” and not vice versa.

How do you progress in life?

How do you achieve what you are passionate about ?

How do you translate your vision into action ?

How do you on a day-to-day basis get to where you want to be ?

Each of us have our dreams, our passions, our purpose in life which drives us and makes us come alive ?

Without putting an effort our dreams would never get fulfilled, if we leave everything to destiny.

Yet Destiny plays an imperative role in our journey of life, one we can’t change.

Do I believe in destiny?

Recent events in my life have convinced me that we can’t change our destiny. Two of my close family members are facing destiny, as I type this.

My Father in law is battling with his life for the past two months in the ICU and my mother’s health seems to be on a continuous downtrend. Doctors and family members are doing everything they can. Prayers, medications, enquiries with various experts continue but yet I and others in our family feel helpless. It feels that Destiny is shaping their life and we are watching helplessly.

Destiny after all controls when we die, and no matter what, none of us can control it. Yes we can control how we live but if we are destined to die in a particular way there is no changing that. When you go through such events in your life it makes you wonder do we have control over what finally dictates our fate?

My mom has always been very careful with the way she has lived her life. She has always been kind, thankful, and helpful. Though she came from a conservative family, she has always been bold and empowered herself in her journey of life. She has always been meticulous, disciplined and a human being from whom I have learnt a lot. Yet where she stands today, she suffers at the hands of destiny.

I often question as to why her ? Doesn’t the balance sheet of her life need to tally in that when all she has done is good, why make her suffer?

Old age has its own share of miseries some of which may be caused by the way we have lived our younger years and yet others beyond our control. You may say why worry about things beyond your control. Yes, but when you see your mom suffer and you aren’t able to do anything, you feel helpless and defeated.

Have I given up hope? No, hope is what is taking me through from day-to-day. My mind is restless and the flight from Hope to hope through each moment is what carries me through. Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances which we know to be desperate. –G.K. Chesterton

Extreme hopes are born of extreme misery. –Bertrand Russell

I can only pray for miracles at this stage. I pray that their suffering reduces. I am pained to see my Dad’s pain. He is the best optimist I have always known and yet there are times of despair in his eyes.

My mother in law is a woman of tremendous strength and yet she feels helpless and hopeless that she is not able to do much in being able to reduce the pain and suffering her husband is going through.

Each of our strength and character has been tested in the past several months.

What have I learnt and still learning? To believe in destiny but yet not give up hope. I have reiterated to myself to be realistic but be positive and be gratuitous to what I have amongst suffering and despair. It is moments of positivity that carries me through. I remind myself to treat life well rather than get hung up on people’s attitudes, ego and arrogance. I consciously avoid the naysayers, the arrogant and egoistic people because they don’t matter. You know your true friends in your life’s challenges. I am learning to value each moment through mindfulness, rather than worry about how tomorrow is going to be. I don’t want to lose each moment that has been gifted to me with my loved ones.

Comments

Okay, let’s get real complicated on the spiritual side of life with talk about destiny – or control (of our lives). Yes, there is luck in life – I’ve had a LOT of good luck and a degree of bad luck. The ONLY thing we control is our attitude to either/both. Read Viktor Frankl’s masterpiece “Man’s Search for Meaning” to really get a great view on life and attitude – it changed mine!

Just want to say how touched I am by this post. To believe in destiny yet not give up hope…. We need hope. Even when we start to believe that it’s destiny alone that makes all of the choices for us, hope still matters. Positive energy lives in hope… I’m sending a lot of it your way.

Thank you so much for having the courage to post something that speaks the truth about our limitations as humans. Too many teachers promote the idea that we are responsible for everything that happens, and thus imply that we are to blame when things go wrong. Beautiful post. Hope and acceptance are the best we can strive for in trying times.

Lalita, Just a quick note to say my thoughts are with you and your family. Having been through some similar situations, it is always a challenge to know why certain things happen. We just do our best to help out and, somehow, we gain strength through the experiences or, at least, some new understanding. It isn’t necessarily destiny, just leaning into life and grabbing hold of each moment. Take care, Jon