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Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day Wishes

Is it just me or is "Are you my Mother?" a reference to children of working moms? It starts off just like any other day with Mom rushing out to catch some worms for her baby bird . . . then baby bird sets off to hang out with surrogates asking the question that makes us cringe (and cry when we are hormonal), "Are you my mother?"

I love being a working mom. Furthermore, if I applied for the position of stay at home mom I wouldn't get the job. My strengths are not suited to all day home making. I am stumped in the kitchen, although I love to eat. My husband swears that the smoke alarm calls him to dinner. I misplace mail, keys, permission slips, the dog, all the time. I have tried to pass strawberries off as Easter Candy (so fresh and sweet!). The most domestic skill I possess is making the bed every day. I am sure there is more to working at home than that, but my ignorance is further proof. I suck at making bagged lunches.

Being a mom is my confident part. Teaching, playing, caring, emotionally supporting, encouraging, coralling, correcting . . . these are my strengths. I am lucky enough to get to do work that I am qualified for during the day, and come home in the evening to do the mom part of my life. It is fabulous.

Except when it's not. Like when Kate was two and she would snot nose and wail at the window of the daycare while I pulled out of the parking lot. Or when Lindsay said she didn't want to wake me up at night when she was sick because she knew I had to work the next morning. Then there was the time at a church meeting when a woman talked about the "unfortunate kids whose mothers work instead of taking care of them."

My most recent pang of working mom guilt came from an innocent off handed remark of my soon to be high school senior:
"Poor Roslyn. It will be so hard for her to go to college. I mean, her mom has always been there. After school with a snack, and she's such a good cook too. They always go shopping together just for fun. It's going to be hard for her to leave all that."
"Are you starting to feel nervous about going to College?" I asked with a lump in my throat.
"Naw. I'll be fine."

And she will. After all that foraging for food and making collages with scraps from our recycling bin, I've raised a resourceful kid.

I really like Roslyn's mom. She is a great home maker, and an excellent mom. After I put a hex on her yummy afternoon snacks I felt bad about it.

But really does it matter whether a mom works inside or outside of the home- as long as we are doing a good job? This Mother's Day I am wishing all moms a day without guilt, jealousy, or second guessing. It's time we all support eachother for the hardest work of all--parenting. Loving and launching the baby birds.

I'm not a mom yet, but I must say, you're bubbly and optimistic personality would qualify as a good mom attributes every day. Aren't you glad we aren't living in the Little House on the Prarie days when we'd be forced to cook and clean all day (maybe teach)? Yikes:)Just wait until your daughter experiences senior year. She'll miss you at college, even if it hasn't hit her yet!

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About Me

I am a Clinical/School Psychologist in private practice in Edmond, Oklahoma. When I am not doing feelings work or at home with my family I am blogging and writing books for parents, children, and young adults.