Boundaries

I’m the first to admit that doing something new makes me uneasy. I could think of 7 reasons why I didn’t have time to do it, 4 reasons why I couldn’t do it, and 26 other self-justified reasons why I hadn’t started but I ultimately realized that it was only 1 thing stopping me. Well 2, me and the excuses I let myself believe.

I realized if I wanted to start taking action I had to do something different. I had to stop allowing the excuses to keep me stagnant. In order to do that I had to shift my mindset from excuse to execution.

Let’s start by defining glow up, according to Urban Dictionary, it’s to go from the bottom to the top to the point of disbelief; an incredible transformation. As we enter the second half of the year, I can’t help but reflect on what an amazing year this has been for me personally and professionally. Everyone that I’ve met this year has been making strides to truly glow up and make sure that those with them do as well.

But what happens when someone you want to glow up, doesn’t want the same thing?

Generational curses aren’t solely spiritually based. When we think about this topic the word “Curse” makes this cliché pretty scary and depending on if you’re a bible thumper or not determines how you see the term. I do believe there is some validity to spiritual generational curses. However, it is also my belief that because this term has been deemed “spiritual or religious” many miss the message in understanding Generational curses. I realize that when we’re born we are systematically molded into who we are and or how we should do things. For that reason, I have noted below just 3 of what I refer to as “environmental curses” that can cause us to have a delay in our personal-development. Take a look in an attempt to bring awareness to some of the issues that could be the reason for the hesitation in your personal-growth.

Appearance

Lately I’ve taken some time to really look into how my family was raised and I noticed that the women in the family and even the men aren’t the best dressed people. We were only taught to be “neat and clean”. I really hadn’t noticed that I was raised to be a very relaxed dressing person until I started feeling bad for wanting to wear makeup. My aunt (who raised me) would always say “you aint gotta look like a clown everyday” (wear makeup) to look nice. She instead only instructed us to bathe twice a day and wear “clean draws”.

Only you know where you want the rest of the year to go. Start reflecting on what you were able to accomplish this year, what went well, what you just didn’t make time for or get to. What promises didn’t you keep to yourself? Are you committed to doing them now? Great. You know things like leaving all that negativity behind, being aware of who is really down for you and deciding what’s best for you. You know positive thoughts and actions breed positive results.

Between working, running a business, family life, and trying to not become a hermit I’m exhausted by Thursday. It takes a lot of effort to make sure that everything gets done. To make sure that my family doesn’t feel neglected, or the laundry gets done (this doesn’t count folding), I work on my business, and I find my selfish moments. I don’t try to do everything, I aim for balance. A little bit of this gets done, a bit of that can wait.

Here are a couple of ways to help you find balance as well:

1. Ask for help. I’ve got so much vying for my attention that it’s a wonder I get anything done, but I let others know when I need help.

Ladies, it’s almost the end of January and I want to know how you’re doing on your goals? If all you’ve done is write them down in your pretty notebook, I need to get pull it back out. You need to get clear on what goals you really are going to be committed to actually accomplishing. We all know about setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Result focused, and Time-bound) goals. But are you giving yourself too much time?

I had to push my goals into overdrive because I realized I would write my to-do list for the week, then do the majority of them Thursday & Friday. I have no clue what I was doing those other days, but it wasn’t productive and I was wasting time. Time, that I kept saying I didn’t have.

Some things we experience are just difficult to accept. Life has the tenancy to (at times) slap the taste from your mouth (metaphorically speaking of course). Acceptance can be tough, however, it isn’t mentally healthy to dwell in a constant state of disbelief. At some point, your mental health requires a connection to reality. In other words, prolonged denial is detrimental to self-growth and personal development. Below I have outlined three things that are absolutely essential to avoiding detrimental denial.

Accept People: Accepting people for who they are can be a difficult task especially if the individuals happen to be loved ones. An attempt to reveal to an individual their unrealized potential can be compared to “beating a dead horse”. This is also true if a person has certain character traits that are not in alignment with yours. The two of you just may not be ethically compatible. These people may like to do things that you don’t like and you aren’t in agreement with. Heck, they may have done something to you on more than one occasion and you keep deciding to deal with them the SAME WAY (and then you get mad).There’s a saying “if a dog bites you once shame on it if the dog bites you twice shame on you”. Know people for who they tell and show you they are.Continue reading

It’s the beginning of the year you have all your New Year New Me list, goals, and your tasks for the next 30 days, and you’re over it already. You’re so focused on staying committed to doing it this year, that you end up trying to do it all, ending up with nothing accomplished feeling exhausted.

One of the best pieces of advice my friend Bianca from The Bianca Experience gave me was “take and plan your breaks.” The first time she told me that, I rolled my eyes and gave her my whatever face. All I could think was, I’m the only person running my business if I take a break nothing will get done, literally.

But I needed that break because I was on the verge of burnout. I mean I was starting to hate working in my business, it was this all-consuming force that was taking everything from me and giving very little in return. That break allowed me to take a step back and come back even more focused.

Forgiveness can sometimes be the topic that no one cares to discuss. This is especially true if you are expected to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. One major issue with forgiveness is the fact that many people don’t seem to understand that it is a process. Oftentimes people have a tendency to look for immediate forgiveness. In the event a person apologizes for wronging or hurting someone, he or she has the expectation of and an immediate “okay I forgive you”. This is however an empty expectation because depending on how the wronged feels about the offence determines if the forgiveness is an immediate forgivable offence or not.

When thinking about the act of forgiving one should consider that to forgive does not imply the act is excused. Many times people confuse forgiveness and excusal and therefore make forgiveness a more difficult task. Countless articles and studies suggest that forgiveness is attributed to positive mental health.

In the world of which we live, unfortunately there are countless ways for us to have or enter into a negative emotional state. Let’s think about this it for a second, even if life is wonderful for you right now, everything is working in your favor and life is looking up negativity can come . As soon as you get out of bed there is potential for your emotions to be shifted to a negative place. Imagine this; you decide you want to be dressed for the weather and you turn your local news station on, more than likely you will hear something disturbing. This is just one of the many ways that negativity organically seeps into our minds.

Check out ways to activate a positive state of mind below.

Practice Gratitude. The only way (in my opinion) to open doors for new and bigger opportunities is to be grateful for the ones you already have. This is not to suggest you become comfortable or content with where you are at all. It’s a great thing to have the desire to do more. On the other hand however, one has to be careful not to sit in a seat of ungratefulness just because the desires of your heart are grand

You have been entered into the raffle. Be sure to check your email tomorrow because you will get an email that will tell you all about me and how I can serve you better in your business so be sure to open me when you see me in your inbox :) See you tomorrow!

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