Thursday, December 21, 2017

Recently,
I addressed our human tendency to believe too much in terms of what we see/hear
in social media (Think It All
Through). Today, I will tackle the most powerful source of
influence on our beliefs and behavior: our own mind.

The
subconscious
mental script that dictates most of our activities started to be
written long before we became aware of—let alone noticed—when we act a
particular way or why we do what we do. The more we reinforce (repeat) those
beliefs and behaviors, and the more we are rewarded socially or emotionally for
them, the stronger they will become. However, that doesn’t mean they are true
or right.

For
example, if you generally received praise for your efforts and encouragement to
solve a problem or resolve a conflict, and reassurance and emotional support to
overcome a disappointment, you are likely to repeat these actions in similar
situations. Conversely, if your efforts to succeed were met with derision and discouragement
to undermine your current and prospective future success, you are more likely
to internalize and believe these negative messages.

It
doesn’t have to be this way. To paraphrase a beloved Native American parable,
everyone has a “good” wolf and a “bad” wolf inside that is constantly fighting
for control. The good wolf is confident and self-assured; it wants to do the
right thing and do right by others. Conversely, the bad wolf lacks that
self-confidence; in fact, it is insecure and self-loathing. It has no respect
for others or itself, and would just as soon cause pain and discomfort than
share joy and opportunity. Ultimately, the winner of this fight will be the one you feed.

In
my blog titled It’s Just a
Thought, I explained the benefits of dismissing outright
all of those negative messages that you do not want or need to incorporate in
your current mental script. This is essentially controlling what you
think and the ideas you allow yourself to entertain. Instead, practice
imagining or visualizing what you/it would look like to experience that success
you are working so hard to achieve. What kinds of words do you want and need to
hear to actualize this positive outcome, and practice saying and thinking them
until they replace that negative chatter. Believe that this positive outcome is
possible because you realized the old way of behaving not only doesn’t work for
you anymore, but it has triggered actions and beliefs that can only help you
succeed.