NBA player LeBron James plays catch with friends on the field following a 2009 NFL game between the Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants. / LM Otero, AP

by Chris Chase, USA TODAY Sports

by Chris Chase, USA TODAY Sports

LeBron James is upset he'll miss part of Super Bowl XLVII because he'll be on the Miami Heat's private jet, which is not equipped with Wi-Fi or satellite television.

Miami has a 2 p.m. game Sunday in Toronto, then must immediately return to Miami for a Monday tip against the Charlotte Bobcats. The overlap means the team will miss part, or all, of the Super Bowl while traveling.

Oh, woe is me, LeBron. You know what my private jet lacks? Wings, pilots, an engine and 12 spoiled millionaires. You have a DVR right? Set it.

Perhaps I was too harsh. LeBron and the Heat deserve some sympathy. Sure, they're rich men playing a game for a living, but they also spend an inordinate amount of time on that plane. How can there be no Wi-Fi or satellite?

Ownership can throw a pep rally where LeBron, DWade and Chris Bosh emerge onstage like they were New Edition circa 1986, but they can't have Wi-Fi on a plane? Ownership can put white T-shirts on every seat, but they can't hook a jet plane up?

I just took a $20 bus with an out-of-order bathroom from DC to New York and that had Wi-Fi. Same thing with the oil change place I just went to. Amtrak, an organization which lost $834 million from concession stands in thepast decade, has working Wi-Fi! Wouldn't you always want to please LeBron? I'd hire a Farnsworth Bentley type to be LeBron's personal human hotspot.

LeBron reluctantly will miss this game. But if his beloved Dallas Cowboys were playing in the Super Bowl, LeBron says he wouldn't leave Toronto, even if it meant putting his status for Monday's game at risk.