Boris Banned From Deploying Water Cannons in London

Last year London's part-time Mayor Boris Johnson splashed out £218,000 on buying three second-hand water cannons for the police to use in the event of civil unrest. The thinking was that next time something like the 2011 riots break out, the kids can be controlled with a violent hose-down.

Unfortunately for Boris, and fortunately for fans of not-using-grossly-disproportionate-force, today Home Secretary Theresa May slapped down her future Conservative leadership rival by refusing to authorise use the cannons on the British mainland. According to the BBC, she said that there would be a "potential impact of water cannon on public perceptions of police legitimacy". Chief Constables have apparently said it would be an "entirely counterproductive" measure.

"The country has a proud history of policing by consent and this is a decision which goes to its very heart", May said, presumably thinking that any device that can rip off the skin of someone it is pointed at might not be the best of ideas.

The water cannons are also in poor condition, and would apparently require 67 major changes in order to be functional, according to Buzzfeed.

This now leaves the Mayor, who is now also MP for Uxbridge, in a bit of a pickle. Not only has he pissed away all of that cash on these redundant vehicles, but offloading them is surely nearly impossible? The only countries that will want them are going to be the exact sort of dodgy regimes we don't want to be seen to be selling them to.