dont no what to

well ive never mentioned this on here before i dont think
but well ok i have eating issues i wouldnt say i have an eating disorder but i defently have alot of issues with my eating. i find i go though fases where i; binge, make myself throw up, or just dont eat i really eat healthly. but latly i seem it seems to be moving feather into a full blow eating disorder i have started throwing up more and eating less im not really sure why this is happening but i have noticed the more i try not to cut the more i have issues with eating but this time not so much im still cutting alot and the eating is getting worse...
i just dont no what to do im really scared i no all the health issues with having an eating disorder but to be honest it doesnt fase me i dont even want to live so so what if i have health issues...

I try not to cut (well if you can call it trying) but I compensate by not eating..

Also When I do binge I start cutting again. It's kind of connected.

I don't have an eating disorder, I just feel obsessed with thinking how it 'should' be. I've never thrown up, but binging and working out excessively isn't uncommon.

Just wanted you to know you're not alone in this and I'm here for talking if you ever want to.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. It's not something you'd wish upon anyone. For me, the hardest thing to do is getting help from the outside..so I won't suggest that as it would seem hypocritical^^ But just as long as you see perspective I really believe you can figure this one out. My sister did it and you seem strong I'm sure you can too.

You just have to really want to change. If you're in a stage when you want to but really can't, it's something different. An eating disorder is a disease which I don't believe is something you can 'just' switch off.

Take care of yourself, work on it now. If you wait too long you migth have no choice but to get help, and it's the one thing that fears me most :-s

I have an eating disorder and have been trying to recover. All I can do is beg you to seek help and stop the behaviors now. They only get worse. The pain, lonliness and self- hatred only get worse. It's a horrible cycle that drains you and takes any sense of your self away. And the medical problems really do happen. They never phased me before and I thought that they could 'never happen to me' because 'I'm not that bad' and guess what. I now have a long list of diagnoses and medical problems and it's only getting longer. Even in recovery I am having problems from the years of damage.

I'm really glad you posted this because I thought I was alone. I too binge and then purge. When I feel good about myself I don't. but when I have bad days I'm likely to cut and make myself throw-up. Again, thank you for being so candid and everyone's replies have encouraged me to seek some sort of advice.
I don't want to ask the family doctor though... she might think I'm crazy and send me to a shrink or tell my parents, which would be infinitely worse. I do not want to go back to therapy. Is there another way to get professional help, like an eating disorder help line that anyone knows of?

Your family doctor won't think you're crazy. Family docs deal with eating disorders all the time. They might say some dumb things though. She could run some blood tests though just to make sure everything looks ok. You can go to the NEDA website or the ANRED website to look for support groups in your area. Also if you don't want to go back to therapy that probably means you weren't seeing the right one, or you were and they made you too uncomfortable. Either way, it'd be best to find a therapist who actually knows something about EDs. Good luck, hun!

I have an eating disorder and have been trying to recover. All I can do is beg you to seek help and stop the behaviors now. They only get worse. The pain, lonliness and self- hatred only get worse. It's a horrible cycle that drains you and takes any sense of your self away. And the medical problems really do happen. They never phased me before and I thought that they could 'never happen to me' because 'I'm not that bad' and guess what. I now have a long list of diagnoses and medical problems and it's only getting longer. Even in recovery I am having problems from the years of damage.

Please, please get help.

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I'm in the same boat, and you said everything perfectly. If you feel like you're on the verge of an eating disorder but it's not full blown, get help now before it gets worse. If you don't have a full blown disorder yet you have a much better chance of becoming healthy and developing good habits. Go to your doctor, or go see a counselor, but get help now. Good luck with everything, PM me if you ever need to talk more in depth. :hug: