Things aren't always as they appear..

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Set aside the love for my family and pets. This isn’t about them today. It’s not that they are not important because they are SO important. THIS is me explaining and sharing about my friendships that mean so much to me. There are many, this post will get long.

The other day I belted out on my FB about how some of “you” are insensitive about the deceased. I was lashing out because I was so hurt and appalled that some of the people on my page would post photos of the Florida incident. In my head, the “you” didn’t represent 99% of the people on my list, just a very small percentage. I think I was caught off guard with the lack of respect being presented.

That “you” took some of my most sincere friends by surprise that they might have even been included in that lump. Again, in my head, I wasn’t placing all in that category, but that was kind of how it was taken. So, even though I have apologized to one, I want to apologize to all that I didn’t remove. I also kind of want to explain a few situations that lead up to that statement and how my day had been going before I lashed out.

I could always blame things on work, I think most can. I understand the “no one can make you feel bad until you allow them to”, well, yes and no. If you are working for someone else, they can make you feel badly and if you have any kind of work ethics then you are going to feel badly. Sometimes even if YOU didn’t do anything, you still tend to take the brunt of issues, situations and events. So I’m blaming it on work because as of late I have been coming home extremely stressed. Anyway, back to all this other.

I reconstructed my friends list yet again, and hopefully it’s a tad better this time. I have new and improved filters or, I’ve just let people go. I don’t need, want or deserve the stresses that some put out with their vibrations. I can easily now walk away from those that do not serve a positive purpose in my life as that is the decision I have made moving forward. I can’t please everyone all of the time, but I refuse to never please myself once in a while.

I think a definition for friendship means different things to different people. It does not mean who you have control over and can use at will. It also does not mean limiting one person to only be your friend and not care about anyone else. I think friendship means different things through your life time as well. Platonic friendships, acquaintances and fly by night relationships kind of fall into the dysfunctional friendship category.

Dysfunctional Friendships

·Telling the world you are their best friend for them

·Only having something to do with someone when you want to argue with them

·Not seeing eye to eye so getting upset with someone because of your insecurities

I think with any relationship there is a hint of dysfunction, but there doesn’t have to be. This of course depends on both parties involved, and that’s where the “only human” factor comes in. This also depends on your tolerance for idiosyncrasies. Everyone has something that drives someone crazy in a small or large way. It’s all in how you approach it, accept it, avoid it or forgive it.

Professional friendship

That to me is weird, here’s why. There used to be a question asked of us each year in a “professional” forum/poll asking us who our best friend at work was. I (and many others) answered “none”. Seriously, you expect me to have a best friend at work? Not going to happen. Yet, I spend 56.25% of my weekday waking hours with the same people over and over again. They always want to make like we’re family, and in a way I guess we are but WOW dysfunctional friendship/family galore. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like the people I work with. However, if it boiled down to trust, I couldn’t trust a lot of them. They have different lifestyles than me, plus their hobbies and interests aren’t like mine. So, work is more of “acquaintance” if you ask me and doesn’t make an ounce of sense to me.

Social Friendship

I think this definition is different for everyone. I don’t go out so I don’t have drinking friends. I do paranormal investigate, so I have social friendship like that. There are people I don’t get to see often but have the same interests as I do, so I consider this social as well. I used to go to “Meetup” events, which were great, but there was such weirdness with some of them that I just figured I’d suffice for my own entertainment. That’s not a selfish or conceited statement, just a fact. I found a lot of people in this group had to define themselves and title themselves in order to be rated in a social friendship, not all mind you. There were great insecurities in this category and I am not into titles and contests for friendship.

Emotional Friendship

I think this is my largest category. I rely heavily on people that have a lot of feeling to share in friendships. I don’t expect it to be “given”, but sharing is a must. Emotions and feelings are like Lays Potato chips, you can’t just have one. I know, cheesy but so true. Part of being an Empath (and I will admit it, shamelessly) is absorbing and enjoy the GOOD feelings and emotions of your friends, those feelings such as excitement, happiness, joy, all of the things that feel good and are taken positively. I wouldn’t trade the energy I get from when my friends are going through new and exciting times! Now, on the flip side, when my friends are sad, sick or hurting, well, that is part of the package. That is where my friendship with them kicks into a higher gear and the needs are changed to be met. Surprisingly, some of my emotional friendships don’t express their emotions “out loud”, and that is OK with me.

Intellectual Friendship

Funny how there are several people that fall into this category plus the one above. I have some very smart friends, all giving amazing criteria to different scenarios. I don’t know what I would do without them. To say one is smarter than another is extremely unfair, as the measure of their intelligence can’t compare with each other’s. These friends also fall into a more mature and emotionally stable category. They have already experienced, conquered and surpassed the drama of adults acting as children. They look at situations differently and contribute to ideas, suggestions and possible solutions. They let the small things roll off their backs and concentrate on what they know, feel, have learned or want to share. I go to them a lot when I have questions about life and/or intuition. They also know that they can trust me and will come to me when they want my opinion or even help.

Buddies

Since I don’t get to do a lot of socializing (well, besides social networks and paranormal events) I don’t have a lot of buddies. However, believe it or not, I’m more “buddies” with hubbies ex work friends because I do enjoy meeting up with them at a bar, because they’ve always been so sweet to me. They are most definitely buddies.

Talent-Oriented Friendship

These are the people that swim in talent, probably in talents that interest and intrigue me. Such as natural Healers, Intuitives, Crafters, Naturists, Campers, Paranormal, Writers, Photographers, that list is LONG. All things I enjoy doing (or wish I could do) and take pride in THEM, my friends, for what they can do. Jealous in a healthy way is never a bad thing, come on; I would LOVE to be able to do half of what some of my Talent-Oriented friends can do! BUT, I can do things too, so I love natural talented people!

I can’t narrow down the fact that most of the people I truly adore and care about are thousands of miles away, so online friends did not make this list because it’s an environment situation not the event of their constitution.

Sister and Brother Friendship

These are the people that when you meet them or the more that you get to know them, they seem, act and feel like family. I actually have a LOT of friends that fall into this category. Seriously, there are people that I have met in the most pivotal time in my life of understanding who I am and how I feel about things, that I have met people that touched my very soul and I consider family. Daily I look forward to reading/hearing/seeing them, and miss them when they are silent. I worry about their well-being, their happiness, their state of mind and their health. I can no longer imagine my life without them even if we have never met in real life. They are an integral part of my life and even my very being.

Humor-Shared Friendship

While to some this isn’t even an issue of consideration, I love humor. I adore witty humor, especially if someone GETS my humor. I will always maintain that I am very snarky (in a loving way) and that is who I am. There are others that fall into this category and it amuses me. I actually rely on this friendship status because it has introduced me to people that I would have never even imagined getting to know. I will say that MOST of the guy friends that I have fall into this category. They swoon me with their humor and then swoop in with their hidden (don’t so society) sensitivity and compassion. That does not mean that the women in my life don’t have humor or that we don’t have this kind of a friendship (with possible multiple categories above) because I do, it’s just different and possibly more controlled than the males in my life.

Best Friend- Friendship

This one is a biggie. I can’t seem to classify the definition of “best”. They might be “my” best but I might not be theirs, or, as I’ve found in events gone past, that I they might think I am theirs and I don’t reciprocate that feeling. If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it, right? Well, first and foremost, my true best friend is my mother. That wasn’t always the case, when I was a teenager, pfffffffffft. Now that I have matured and we have mutual understandings of each other (and if we LIVED CLOSER) we’d be together all the time. Nearly everything that I am (Healer, sensitive, survivor, friend, etc) I get from my mother, whether it was lessons, faith, acceptance or even the dreaded punishment, it’s because of my mother. She doesn’t meddle, she doesn’t pry. She loves me for me because I am the direct result of her. With all of that being said, I consider many as best friends in different ways and for different reasons.

I’m sure many of you can see yourself in one or more of these groups. I think one “group” I failed to mention is a “nostalgic” friendship, for whatever reason is something that (in the past) has meant something very deep in the past, and whether it’s growing up or just the natural selection of time and life, has come and gone. At the age I was when I made those friendships mean different things to me, some were so very special and life shaping that I will never let them go. Some, as with myself, they are different people now and we aren’t as compatible as friends, or even people you were madly in love with from the past who now are your friends. It’s hard to put them into a category, because they were loves and friends.

Life is made of events, learning curves and special people in your life that add value to your “journey”.

**Please be advised this is my own personal list, and it could easily change or apply to others reading.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.”Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind”Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

One of the things Empaths like to do is write (a lot), it helps us to verbalize what we are thinking that needs to come out. In knowing that now, I should have known my mother was an Empath as well, because that woman could write 18/20 page hand-written letters (front and back) ESPECIALLY when she was angry. I received a few from her when I was younger. Oh boy! That is how she verbalized her emotions and what she was feeling. I tend to write more when my vibration is set very high (not always, but I would say most of the time when I am in a beautiful mood and want to/HAVE to share).

I thought maybe I would share a few other things that Empaths do/feel/are gifted with/experience, etc. If you're up to it? Oh where to begin.

Some Empaths are magnificent conduits for other people, places and animals. What exactly is a conduit? Let me see if I can explain this so that you can visualize it instead of just hearing it.

There really are different kinds of conduits as well, and not all of them are Empaths. There is such a thing as a conduit that increases spiritual or metaphysical energy. Just like taking B12 helps one have more energy and be more productive, standing next to someone can make one or both a conduit to the other side. It's their vibration and their openness to events or situations that makes them the cup/string to the spirit world. Then there is the conduit of gifts, might it be healers, or mediums or even creators. Any person that enhances another person's natural gifts is considered a conduit. I've been proclaimed a conduit and I've had people that are the conduit to myself. You begin recognizing the benefits of conduits and learn to appreciate them for their value.

Empaths tend to make natural Healers (hands on or off). This is something that I've also had for all of my life, I just didn't know it, or utilize it until I realized what was going on with me. So, not only do I feel what someone is going through, but it inspires me to help them however I can. I've learned to "see", scan, "feel" and "sense" illnesses, depression, deficiencies, issues and illnesses. Sometimes it comes to me without even "seeking" it, and other times I have to really get deeply into the healing. If there is more than one thing going on, it's almost as if I'm destined to fix one thing before moving on and figuring out the next dilemma.

Unfortunately, there are times that we also soak up every ounce of nasty, disease, illness, negativity, hurt, emotion and blockage (that we experience in the healee) into our own spirits and even physical bodies. While, we can surround ourselves in protection and safety, there are times that we aren't as diligent as we should be and we absorb it like a sponge in a coffee spill. I get yelled at a lot by one of my spirit guides (the other two are pretty quiet) and when I'm DEEP into a healing session (I mean it's been for HOURS) She yells my name loud enough to jolt me, it's my warning of you'd better wrap it up. Unfortunately, the last three days have been HEAVY Healing days and boy howdy have I felt it. It's made me ache all over. My bad.

Another thing that Empaths experience is sensitivity to electronics and EMF energy. Some days it happens more fluently than others. Case in point: Every time I would touch my phone these past there days, it would shut down. That never happens to me. There will be a good charge on it and I zap it to drained energy levels. Also, there are times I can walk into a building and feel where there is a power surge, I can feel a TV that is on, even if I can't see it or hear it, and I can feel when the toaster is engaged. Dirty electricity is even worse. Power lines and even light bulbs about to go out are felt. It's hard to explain but it happens more frequently than I'd like it to.

Also beware, there is a sensitivity to seeing something that might create/cause pain to someone. I can't watch confrontation on the television because it physical causing me anguish and discomfort. Watching certain movies, I sob uncontrollably because it's so emotional. The news, animal and child abuse, I can't watch things like "Most destructive accidents, American Idol (yes I said it.. because I couldn't stand to see Simon be such an ass to people-Deal with it Nancy!), or even court debates. Physically it wears me down, mentally, I take a thrashing as well. Emotionally turbulent and violent situations are unbearable.

There are times when too much stimulation can drive us nearly insane. Stimulation is good for the most part, but can be overwhelmingly so. Lights, sound, motion, acivity, it all falls into this category. There are times we need to just be alone listening to soft soothing music or even white noise, so that we can turn off all of the STIMULATION!

This information can be a given, oh boy can we be moody. I guess this gives people that truly don't understand what being an Empath means, the opportunity to claim that we are bipolor or even a psychopath. Unfortunately, most of those titles follow the path of Envy, or so it would seem.

Being an Empth, believe it or not, is in our DNA and is enherited. Yep, we've most likely not only received it from a parent or grandparent, but we'll also pass it on to our children and grandchildren. I've already told my mother I received it from her, as she received it from her mother, as she received it from her mother. Just because however it's run through the family on our female side, my son is also an Empath. He has an inkling, but until he's ready to accept it, will he strive to understand it.

"Theorists who have delved deeply into the study of an empath report the qualities are inherited. As a child, parents notice a strong difference between other siblings and the undiagnosed empath. The bold characteristics observed by parents might go without recognizing what they actually mean for a long time and sometimes forever. An adult empath could do a self discovery or be informed by another empath of that personality label well into adulthood." **

Here's another thing, and it doesn't always apply to Empaths, but is most certainly present in a lot of us. Since we deal with so many emotions through out the day, day to day, through out our lives, we tend to be on the "fluffy" side. We hold onto a lot of things that we shouldn't. It takes of lot of souls searching, meditation, understanding, awareness and acceptance before our bodies can physically take on the thinner trait. When I had no idea what I was, I was much thinner, although I struggled with the WHAT was going on part, but then as I understood it, it was like a flood gate of other issues popped in there. I also inherited my Empathic grandmother's figure (Thanks grandma!) so.. chunk it is for now.

I'm sure there are a plethora of other things that constitute "traits" of an Empath. I of course welcome others to join in on these blogs. Life is about sharing and learning, not trying to compete on who's the best what. I gladly fly my freak flag. It's who I am, and the older I get in my life, the more I adore my awkward craziness.

Friday, May 4, 2012

So, I have had a few messages from friends that are not in the paranormal field, asking me what exactly an Empath is. In all honesty, you could very easily “Google” it and try to get the gist of it with your results. I’m not an expert in it, as it’s only been a few years (what maybe 3, possibly 4) since I even discovered that is what *I* was.

I think there are many similarities between many people that experience true Empathy, but I think there are not only different stages, but different experiences involved. Being an Empath is a form of sensitivity, in the physical, emotional and the metaphysical realm.

I know a lot of my friends aren’t into the paranormal, nor do they believe in scientifically unexplained events such as psychic abilities, medium ship, ESP, and all that is involved with the severely misunderstood and lack of knowledge concerning the powers of the mind, the soul and the spirit within one person. I was just as uninformed and my curiosity wasn’t as strong back then either, until I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown from all that was going on with me and completely ready to give up emotionally.

How I decided what I was, really took quite a while. I didn’t just jump into it and say THAT’S ME! I studied and researched and compared my notes to what other people were saying they felt. Empathy is feeling, not just feeling but in depth feeling with emotions and physical reactions; the list kind of goes on depending on how Empathic one really is.

So, while I was in my late thirties before even having an inkling of what was going on, I know it’s been there all of my life. Just because I didn’t know what it was, didn’t mean it didn’t exist. I know there was no way I could ever ignore those feelings mentioned above, as soon as I acknowledged them, it’s like the floodgates were opened and they became stronger and more detailed. Oh boy, what a rush and NOT in a good way.

What some people don’t understand is that these emotions and feelings we receive (and how we receive them to be explained shortly) fall into abilities much closer to being a psychic. Yes, I can hear it now, the eyes rolling, the big sighs, the declaration of “Oh Brother!”. I can’t convince you of this, I can only try to explain it so that you maybe will either accept it as it is, or remember me as a human and try to ignore it, that decision is up to you.

Let’s say, you are in a room with a few other people. Everyone is quiet and minding their own business. Without looking up or even making eye contact, I can feel the emotions of the other people sitting in that room. Not their thoughts (even though that does slip in now and then, more now than then) but what their soul is feeling, what their spirit is experiencing. Here is a downfall, while happiness and joy are felt at times, picking up on the hurt, anger, sadness, despair, depression, anguish, heartache, loss, and all of the other powerful emotions that have the ability to hit someone like a ton of bricks. These emotions are felt stronger because people feel them differently than the light, happy, joyful ones.

Most everyone (and I say most for a reason) have the ability (to some extent) to feel empathy for someone, sadness for someone losing a loved one, happiness at a wedding, etc. As a true Empath, we don’t need a particular event nor do we need an invitation in order for us to feel empathy. We can (and do, most often without even trying to) tune in to any person at any time. Here’s another kicker, it can be across thousands of miles as well. That’s a lot of people feeling a lot of emotions at all times of the day and night. So, even though some will hide their emotions, yeah, that doesn’t work with Empaths, we feel them anyway (and strongly).

Now, when I type about being sad or overwhelmed or feeling the weight of the world, you can understand. It’s not because I’m crazy, or bipolar, it’s because I didn’t protect myself or tune it out enough and it consumed me,That happens a lot.

Something else to throw into the mix, it’s not just the living that we connect with. Why do you think I’m so enamored with the paranormal? I was telling my friend Robyn the other day, how, while I was in a meeting I must have been extremely open, because someone from the other side started talking the exact time that the person giving the presentation did, right into my right ear. Now, without trying to show little respect for the presenter, I started giggling, and tried to muffle it. I don’t know if you have seen the tide stick commercial where the shirt is trying to talk over the man interviewing for a job. That is exactly how it sounded! I couldn’t understand him and then he was talking faster until he gave up. I couldn’t connect into his words (jumbled and low/grumbly) but I could feel his frustration in me not understanding. He picked a fine time to try and talk to me when someone else was giving his speech.

(entering that video here was a must because I seriously LOL every single time I see it)

Most Empaths (if they allow themselves to) can feel when someone on the other side is sad, or was sick, is angry or feels lost. Believe it or not, we can also feel their happiness or even contentment from the other side MUCH more than we can feel it from a living being. Okay maybe that isn’t everyone else’s case, but it is mine. Connecting emotionally to the other side is easier and for me less abrasive than you emotional living humans.

Feeling these emotions gives most of us the ability to sense the motivations of intent. It’s more than being an onlooker, it’s “seeing” what some emotions can lead to, in depression the feeling of suicide, in anger the feeling of wanting to physically harm someone, etc. This can be a dangerous for us to experience; most of us want to fix/help the situation before it gets to that point. This means that we have a range of emotions from stimulating to terrifying. We often connect very easily and quickly to people with mental illness as their state of consciousness tends to be more dramatic and sporadic, sometimes leaving us feeling confused and destitute. Being bombarded with these forceful feelings can be felt as an attack, making being an Empath a scary feeling at times.

For me, it’s like having these exposed fibrous receptors receiving unbelievable amounts of information all at once. The first time that made me question what the heck was going on, I had woken up fine and happy that morning. I got to work in a great mood and then SUDDENLY I was irritable and angry and bitter. Where did that come from? I couldn’t even possibly fathom a reason to have these sudden and distinct feelings. I later found out, it was my coworker sitting in the cubicle next to me. She was shoving it out into the Universe and it was seeping over the walls straight to me. My attitude was horrible and she was basically pushing it onto the world! The other people around me were unaffected and really didn’t care one way or the other, but I wanted to just beat someone to a pulp and that is very unlike me. Once I realized that I was picking up on it, I not only had to walk outside into the fresh air, I had to put up a protective wall of sorts to keep her out. I didn’t talk to her, I put in my earbuds and listened to gentle music and it helped. I was no longer violently angry and destructive. Now I know, thank heavens because that was nearly a breaking point for me physically and emotionally.

There will always be people who question an Empath’s abilities, and that is OK with me. There are people intent on displaying what they believe to be Empathy, but a true Empath will know that it’s not. That puts doubt in people’s minds, and again, that is OK with me as well. I welcome people to ask me questions about it and I will always try to explain to the best of my ability any and all avenues that I personally experience with being an Empath. There are times when I’m extremely open and experience visions with the certain people/emotions, a knowing, hear someone from the other side telling me things I had no idea of knowing, it varies from situation to person. The more I try and understand it, the better I tend to deal with such events. I’m not afraid of it any longer, but I do express how hard some days really are. It’s not an easy thing to experience, but, to be honest, I consider it a gift, a very special gift. I have accepted this gift and the responsibilities that come along with it. I’m still searching for my best method of blocking/protecting myself when I don’t have the strength or desire to experience the effects. This is not a bad thing to block ourselves when needed, just like anyone else, we have to take care of ourselves first before we can be of any help or assistance to someone sending their beacons of emotion.

I hope I have helped explain it. I think it’s generally the same for most of it, but I believe that everyone experiences it differently, or has more or less ability, as with any talent.

For anyone reading this that has questions, feel free to email me at anewmoo@gmail.com. I will honestly and openly try to help, answer, explain, display whatever I can to/for you. I'm not ashamed of who or what I am, to me it's a beautiful thing and I am extremly lucky and blessed.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

I've been typing this off and on for two days. Yesterday was an emotional day for various reasons. But enough about me, oh wait. So more about me.

As humans, we aren't always open to information about ourselves, our ticks, maybe flaws, or imperfections. Why would we want to admit our faults when we'd much rather have the world see us as we want to be seen. Well, I've typed about some of this before, I will be the first to admit that there are times I learn something about myself that I haven't previously recognized or maybe even acknowledged. Oh boy.

I try very hard to be a very good person. I'm nice to people, I always try to help, in the past I've even been walked all over, thinking maybe it would make someone happy. Yeah well, *pffffft*. I like to nurture, I enjoy making people laugh, and overall, being an Empath, I strive to do whatever it takes to for people to feel good. Remember earlier, I mentioned, that is not always my responsibility to BE the fixer. Sometimes people don't need fixed, even more so, don't "want" to be fixed. So, it's up to me, to find that balance, which I assure you is not always an easy find. *thud* So..here's where things get extra confusing about life and personal duties. Hehe.. I said doodies.

There are people that are threatened by me. When I say threatened, I don't mean *pounds fist in palm* kinda' threatened. Recently, I've experienced both sides of the spectrum, emotional spectrum that is. (dear heavens to mergertroid the first time I typed spectrum it came out rectum 0.o). You can't take me anywhere nice. Overall, I am a very happy person. I have a tough time in crowds, but there have been times that people wouldn't know that, because I try to include everyone into the reindeer games. I don't want anyone feeling left out. My personality takes over, and my guard tends to be my sense of humor and I just try to make people comfortable. I have been accused of being "Peppy Spice" and that's fine.

There have been people who didn't like the attention I would get from other people, and for that it's like they wanted to punish me. They tried so hard to be like that and failed miserably. But see, that is my mechanism, not yours. You can not base your "popularity" or lack there of on how I do things. You also can't just magically become what someone else is either, it either has to be inside you already, or you have to work to get to that point.

So, then I look at myself and my views on life. I realize there are times that my views are out there, but, to be fair and honest, I see a lot of other people that have pretty crazy ideas and are just as stubborn (if not MORE so) in listening to all sides of the option. Passion can be a beautiful thing, until it belittles and destroys someone else. I abhor confrontation, it's not in my nature. I will get sick just procrastinating getting into an argument with someone. I'd rather back away, and distance myself from them. I've done that all of my life. That doesn't make me wrong, that makes me who I am inside.

While, I never want to offend someone, and hurting someones feelings is torture for me, I've come to learn that I can not please everyone. Between my views, my snarkiness, my personality and exactly who I am, to some, it's extremely overwhelming. As an Empath, that drives me nuts. Internally I'm wanting to change who I am to make someone else happy, and that just can't happen. WHY? I have some people that write things like this to me (and while I'm going to quote this, I'm not going to identify the owners of their words..they'll see it):

"And sometimes you take someone who has been grim all day and make them laugh with just a few words. THAT is also your gift!"

"I just wanted to tell you, hanging up the phone right now, even with that VERY brief conversation, may be the first time I've smiled all day. Thank you"

"Only slightly off topic, the thing I treasure most about you Moo is that I feel I can be completely open with you."

BUT then I turn around and I have people de-friend me all the time on social networks. I may never know why and that drives me crazy. I'm getting better at that, and it's taking work. There are times I'm stubborn, persistent, bullheaded, possibly inappropriate, but I am so loving, giving, caring, sharing and SINCERE that I thought maybe it would balance things out. It does not. Not only does not everyone like me, but people lie about me as well. That part, I'm coming to terms with as well. In each and every case I can narrow it down as to why they don't like me, and three fourths of it is complete jealousy. That I can not change, and will not, for anyone, sorry. No wait, scratch that, actually I'm not sorry. Why?

I use my true talents (and I'm not trying to break my arm here patting my own back) and gifts, I don't charge for pretend sideshow crap. (Now, here, I will tell you, I know some amazing healers, psychics and mediums, and I believe they provide a service as their living and should be paid accordingly). I know some extreme frauds that claim they can do it all when they can't, and they charge for it, and should be ashamed of themselves, but they aren't, and won't be because they just want to skate through life as something they're not. I'm had MANY people tell me of the success when I've sent them Healings. That warms my heart and makes me beyond happy. For now, I have a job and I get paid for that job, I'm anything but lazy, so I believe for myself that this gift is for giving.

I think I'm going to upset a lot of people with this post. Frankly, it's my words, thoughts and expressions so, you are going to have to deal with that on your own terms. I know that I'm hard to handle, but, I think overall, if you stick through it, and see both sides of the rainbow (and the storm) you will find that I can provide a true friendship with many rewards. I'd like to think so anyway. What I'm trying to say here is, don't try to make me into what you think I should be, relish in the moo-ness and take me for who I am. If you liked me before, I'd like to think you'd like me just as much if not more now.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

A lot of people here in the south aren’t aware of May day practices. They know of the pole and such, but, they never grew up doing what us “northerners” did after school on May first.

On May first, most every child was eager for the end of school to come. We would all race home one hundred mils an hour so that we could rip open the package of Dixie cups and pipe cleaners, to facet this rushed basket of sorts. In an assembly line fashion (if mom was there to help) she’d poke the holes in the sides with the scissors and you’d masterfully make the pipe cleaner into a handle. Might you add here, notice the smile that would cross upon your face if you became creative and twisted two different color pipe cleaners, or if you braided three different colors together to make THEE most amazing basket EVER CREATED IN HISTORY?For the most part, back then, we were easy to please.

Then, you would have to pop the popcorn on the stove, in oil (really, you all never did this?) because that was the filler. I think some of the best May Day baskets were filled with one or more of the following:

Popcorn

Licorice

Suckers

Jelly Beans

Hershey Kisses (but only after the popcorn was cooled off, Oiy what a mess if not)

Peppermint Candies

Gum (also only after the popcorn was cooled off)

Caramels

Then, after making what felt like HUNDREDS of May Day baskets (if you hadn’t already done this) you had to strategize who could run the fastest, who you wanted to have kiss you and who you definitely did NOT want to pinch you.

Here were the rules. For your friends of the same sex, you had to place the basket on the door step, ring the doorbell (or knock) and run like Hell. If they caught you they got to pinch you!

For your friends of the opposite sex, they might have been friends but some boys (in my case) see, they had cooties, so you didn’t want them to kiss you. You’d better run like Hell after setting that basket on their door step and ringing the bell. But THEN.. oh glorious smooches, there were the ones you wanted to you know, slow it down a bit. There’s a smooch involved and you aren’t going to blow it see? Set the basket down, ring the bell and run.. more like prance slow enough to get caught, but NOT to look obvious. Oh the kisses…

Tidbits of Info

All around the world, there are people that are tried and true, they don't allow people to steal their energy, or the natural light that shines form deep within. I have become one of these people.. as.. like a butterfly, I have expanded my wings, and astral traveled to places where hate and jealousy don't even exist.