Homosexuality: My Perspective

I really dislike personal narratives because they seem to be a cry for
sympathy or empathy. But, in reading many of the postings on, which
attack the white gay community, while glorying in the affirming black
experience, I think it would be helpful to share this.

As far as I know there are no African derived terms in any of the two
African languages I know, Gikuyu and Kiswahili, that contain the term
that refers to the identity homosexual. The only word I can think of that
comes close in Kiswahili is "shoga" (a term that holds different
meanings across the Kenyan and Tanzanian borders, leading me to believe
that it is an appropriated term that has undergone perjoration in Kenya
where it is used to describe homosexual people). Of course, something
else that I find interesting is that Kiswahili itself is a combination
of Bantu and Arabic languages with a mild sprinkling of European
languages thrown in for good measure.

While growing up and in school, the term "homosexual" was always used
to describe behavior by foreigners: I recall my standard four class
teacher warning us to beware against "foreigners" who did "bad things
with boys." Or else it was used in a religious way where homosexuality
was the "worst" of all sins. My religious teachings went as far as to
claim that the anti-christ (back when I still believed in such a notion),
was homosexual. It was the worst possible thing.

Of course, it didn't help when I read anthropological works like
"Facing Mt. Kenya," by Jomo Kenyatta, and "The Maasai" (I don't remember
the author's name), which boldly stated that homosexuality did not exist
in the traditional African community. As far as I was concerned
homosexuals were an evil white thing that were going to destroy the good
people of the world.

Fast forward a couple of years and I was in High School. Boarding
school is rather fascinating. There were people in my school who
indulgedin homosexual behavior, but never identified themselves as
homosexual.(In retrospect, they could not use such a term because the
language did not permit it).

This is getting long and rambling so perhaps I should state that
there were no homosexual models historically, culturally, educationally,
or socially in my country (Kenya) when I was growing up.

Again another fast forward to 1995, my first year in America. I began
to question my sexual identity and to look for positive affirmations of
it. I found my first positive affirmations of it in literature written by
white gay men. Their voices helped me to identify one aspect of my
nature and to explore it. Their voices also helped me to identify that I
needed to look for literature that affirmed my experience as a black
person. So I began my quest for black gay literature.

Almost all the literature that I have come across by black authors has
been centered in the West and around Western experiences. I long for the
day when I can pick up a work by someone from Kenya that I can totally
identify with. Until then I will continue to look to literature and
experiences from wherever they come that will continue to affirm me.

When I came out to my mother over the summer the first thing she told
me was that homosexuality was not African. She wrote me a letter in which
she said that long before the white man came to Africa there was no such
thing as homosexuality. As she sees it, I have been corrupted by
America.

So, I guess my point is I look for affirmations where I can find them.
I pick what I perceive as the good from the gay white community and I
pick what I perceive as good from the SGL community. I do not identify
myself solely with any one group because I know both groups have
contributed and continue to contribute to me in different ways.
I will not hate the white gay community to "liberate" myself as a SGL
individual. By the same token, I will not hate the SGL community to
proclaim myself gay. I am glad that there are so many out white people
as it makes my life a little easier. I wish there were more visibly out
SLGPOC as that would make my life a little easier as well. But,I take
what I can and I affirm who I am, in my own way.

As a final note, I had become so cynical about the "gay" identity, the
"SGL" identity, and the "black" identity that I had forgotten what it was
like to dream of what E. Lynn Harris describes as "Perfect."
Perfect may not exist, but I can choose to see the good in what exists
and when I don't find it, I can use the lack of it as a positive
motivation to inspire me to political action and political change.