Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Mcdonalds' Mighty Wings & Burger King's Buffalo Chicken Strips

I'm not sure why football season= buffalo wings, but according to McDonalds and Burger King, it does, so they each recently put out their own offerings. Do I smell a BUFFALO WING FAST FOOD- OFF?

Of course I do. We love doing faceoffs almost as much as Castor Troy.

First up was Mcdonalds' offering: Mighty Wings.

Either I don't pay attention to anything, or Mcdonalds really didn't bother advertising that these were bone-in wings. Now sure, on the surface, I'm an idiot. They're WINGS. OF COURSE THERE ARE BONES.

But seriously, why on earth would I think Mcdonalds would have bones in anything? I think I found a rubber band in a McChicken once, but other than that, the world knows Mcdonalds as a fast food place that has questionable meat from who knows what animal, but it's generally all meat. You can bite into anything without worrying about breaking your teeth. I didn't see anything indicating that these had bones. It certainly didn't say so on the menu.

The concept of wings will never make sense to me. Why eat something where you have to fight through skin, cartilage and eventually bone when there's something that exists (usually on the same menu) that has NONE of that annoyance and nasty stuff, and is all delicious meat? I'll never understand why people eat bone-in wings.

So even though I just discredited the hell out of myself for this review, I threw caution to the wind and decided to try and enjoy these anyway. Maybe they wouldn't be too gross. After all, how much of Mcdonalds meat actually comes from animals anyway?

It started of good:

This thing was juicy, cooked perfectly, and VERY crunchy. In fact, the crunch was quite good. I wasn't sure if I liked the spice, but the sheer amount of fried goodness and crunch was pretty awesome.

Then it started to get too real.

oh good, a giant black tendon thing

Oh good, a giant glob of fat cartilage goo attached to another tendon!

This is what it looked like when I finally gave up:

If you're one of those weirdos who would rather struggle with your food and leave half of what you ordered on your plate for stray dogs to eventually rip out of a dumpster, then these could be your new favorite item at McDonalds.

Ok, here's my best attempt at a non-biased review: For people who love bone-in wings, these surprised me a lot, solely because I wasn't expecting something like this from Mcdonalds. They're bigger than I thought, they're not horribly overpriced (this 3 piece was $3.69), they're COVERED in great crunch, and they certainly appeared to be real meat from a real animal (or at least a giant version of one).

But even being as fair as I can be, these failed on 2 levels:

1. The flavor isn't buffalo. Yes, people who like wings like all types of flavor on wings, but what says football- wings with a random spice on them, or wings covered in buffalo sauce? These were just spicy, and I couldn't even really figure out what flavor they were supposed to be other than, well, "spicy."

2. The biggest reason of all:

"Do you have blue cheese?"

"No, would you like to try ranch?"

Seriously, can you name anyone who eats wings with ranch? I think I've met 2 people in my entire life who use anything other than blue cheese. 2 people.

My personal rating: D-

Rating for people who like bone-in wings: C+. Points deducted for confusing spice, level of junk that isn't meat, and lack of blue cheese.

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Would BK do any better?

HELL YEA THEY COULD! LOOK AT THAT MEAT! LOOK AT THAT CLEAR BUFFALO SAUCE! LOOK AT THE MESS!

These were extremely standard buffalo fingers. There's nothing special about them- they're just standard fingers dipped until soggy into delicious buffalo sauce.

PROS: Where else can you get buffalo fingers as fast as BK can give them to you? It's incredibly weird that fast food places are offering something so messy that nobody would expect to be able to get at a drive thru, but I fully support it if it's done right. These aren't anything crazy, but they're solid.

CONS: This picture says it all:

You're probably thinking "sure Mike, those are small. But it's fast food, they couldn't have been that expensive, right? What did that cost you, 2 bucks? You cheapskate!"

You're wrong. Those 3 miniscule and very thin fingers cost $3.99. That, good sir, is a rip off.

But hey, they're a bit soggy and soft, they're smaller than I wanted, they're way too expensive, but I am getting buffalo fingers the easiest I ever have, and I'll enjoy them!

"Hey, I didn't get any sauce, can I get some blue cheese?"

"No, we don't have blue cheese. Would you like some ranch?"

Blue cheese, Burger King. ALWAYS BLUE CHEESE.

I liked these better, but lack of blue cheese and feeling like the dude above after seeing what I got for 4 bucks makes these fair not much better than a B-. And that's if you keep blue cheese at home (which we do, of course).

I appreciate the effort guys, but I guess this stuff should be left out of fast food's hands.

8 comments:

hahahaa nice tie in with the sauces. i don't know if i'd rather eat a bone in wing there so i know it came from a chicken, or a weird "finger" mush thats shaped to resemble one out of convenience. hmmmm.

I totally agree with your assessment of bone in wings. The only time I have them is at a buffett at a sporting event at a bar or maybe when sharing with someone or if it is a special like 10 cent wings. I'll never understand people who swear by bone in

I love ranch with buffalo and would prefer it 10 times out of 10 over blue cheese

How can you say that $1.20 per wing is a good deal? Most bars have specials on game day which now is 4 days of the week for 10-25 cents per wing and probably 50 cents on off days. $1.20 per wing is insane! Especially when 50% is bone

Ah, what a great, great blog. Certainly saves me a lot of time when trying new stuff from the fast food companies. The reviews are funny but then downright accurate and relatable to the common man (like myself). What I want to know is....are prices going to decrease in the future? I know they have all of this new technology out now that helps to keep costs (even) lower than what they use to be and a lot of stuff is automated. I was reading an article yesterday about new technology fast food companies are utilizing and it is getting pretty crazy out there.

Hey there! I just came across your blog and I think it's great! :D I love hearing about new foods and snacks, because it helps me know what to watch out for when I go to order stuff or hit up the grocery store. I wonder if that Dennys promotion is going on in Canada? (I know, wrong post.) Oh, and I'm totally with you. Leave the bones for dogs--if I get chicken, I want meat! And yeah, who goes to McDonalds and thinks there will be bones?! Yuck!