Lizzie = A funny, timely quote made on the VFTB site by our writers or commenters.

Lizard = The best Lizzie.

MVL = Most Valuable Lizzie’er: The person with the most Lizzies in the period under review (usually the past two weeks.)

Top 10 of 2013 = The folks with the most aggregate Lizzie points YTD (1 point for every Lizzie, 3 points for every Lizard.)

As you already know, this is all completely subjective and according to my whims.

Lizzies

Much better, especially now that we don’t get “yes dear, you’re right, I’m sorry.”

Garza should not be talking to the media about this.

With Dale Sveum’s first chance to use the DH, he looked up and down the roster and selected Scott Hairston. Scott Hairston?

I like the way Smarja pitched, but it was very disturbing having to look at him.

Have to agree that the camo lettering wasn’t really distracting, of course that was due to the fact it managed to camo itself on both teams uniforms.

I just do not think the Cubs are going to get serious offers for either in July (and potentially no offers for Marmol)

Injuries create unanticipated holes and the market for some of the others may take us to unanticipated trading partners. I tried to make that sound like a fortune cookie, How did I do?

For added security, do passwords by taping them to the underside of the keyboard.

No catcher should be charged with a passed ball when Marmol’s throwing.

Until VFTB I did not realize that computers had any other use than porn.

What’s porn?

Sandwiches on Seymour after he washes his hands!

Don’t eat Seymour’s coleslaw, just warnin.

isn’t jswan the most valuable Lizzier every Girlieview?

Well he is a computer guy. I bet he has a computer program designed to give him all of Lizzie’s favorite quotes and he pulls from that list.

My name is Eddie, and I am a Cubs addict.

The best thing I found about being a Cub fan is that you will never find more real, diehard fans, who believe in a team.

This is much more fun than last year.

I can’t wait until gravatar pushes their updates. I’ve commissioned Joe’s cartoonist to Cernak me up a bit.

So the book on your head is to help you Cernak up a bit?

Cubs hat, Jerry. Fine art of this caliber is sometimes hard to interpret.

Len would follow that up with information about the Gin Blossoms upcoming show at Decatur Fest.

5-game win streak, talk of going .500, two days of grand slams back-to-back… I can barely recognize this place.

people like to reinforce that fact with boos, curses, and degrading slurs directed at players who stink. If you’re a fan of a team, doing those things to your own players is classless.

I feel your nose could be more triangular. Go Cubs.

I believe Katie’s nose is just angular, she needs another side for the other 2 angles.

He can only play the guys who show up on the roster.

the spray paint can on MS Paint is the filet mignon of cartoon facial hair beard-makers.

He knows he’s pulling the ham of questionable toxicity out of the fridge and trying to piece together a meal that won’t make him vomit.

Zastrynzny is going to make all of us use copy-and-paste a lot

Kobe forgot his wallet so Theo pick up the check and kept the receipt saying he would deduct the costs from Bryant’s signing bonus.

He took that mouth from Michael Jackson circa ’92. Giant triangles are the way to go.

I’m sure the problem is that Castro and Rizzo have decided that hitting isn’t all that fun and they’d rather just suck.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Marmol has always fallen victim to the vagaries of sliders bounced outside of the zone of strikes.

That was all explained in the pilot episode. LaHair’s rich uncle died and left him two season tickets behind home at the Ham Fighter’s park. He switched Murton’s ticket to Iowa with a ticket to Japan…classic Brian. That is also where the whole “Iowa has surprisingly good sushi” running joke came from.

It is way past time the MLB did a study on why red-heads are discriminated against in baseball.

How is Ian Stewart doing? I wish he would Tweet something.

With Stewart’s track record, If the Cubs let him rot he will eventually tweet again and get suspended again, thus saving the Cubs even more money.

The fact that he thinks he’ll be handed a big-league job in another organization is laughable.

Lizard

me and the wife just had our 2nd baby girl

Shout Outs

A big shout out to the following contributor who submitted his first 2013 Lizzie this time around. We’re happy to have you here!

Holden Clark

MVL

Congratulations to jswanson, the Most Valuable Lizzie’er this time around!

Top Ten of 2013 (one point for each Lizzie, three points for the Lizard) – In honor of Father’s Day I’ll post the full listing!

As a result, I’m assuming, of my bull running invitation (from last time) I acquired a young Words With Friends suitor who wanted to know “what grade are you in?” I quickly resigned from that game and blocked the user who was certainly young enough to be my grandson. Or great-grandson if someone got an early start. This weekend is Father’s Day. What are your plans, oh fathers and fathers-to-be and non-fathers?

Elizabeth Pearson stumbled upon VFTB around 2006, and enjoys encouraging conversation among the wide variety of readers brought together by their love of the Cubs. She’s married, has a Cub-loving pug named Phinneaus, and enjoys biking, hiking, cooking and gardening. She calls Chesterton, Indiana home and hopes to one day retire on Mackinac Island. Connect with Lizzie via email or Instagram.

Double header Saturday in the wood bat league if my toe heals. I got cleated two weekends ago, which triggered my fist gout attack in several years…hope I can get it cleared up. Sunday funday with the wife and daughter…probably some beer, yard work, and grilling.

BLPCB

How about steaks on Seymour? Since it is Father’s Day weekend, and it’s always a good time to grill steaks. Or go bust a gut at Fogo de Chao, like I did last weekend. Next time I’m going to have to not eat for 2 days before hand. I still busted a gut, but not as much as I wanted to eat

Doug S.

My father is no longer with us and I’m not one so my answer is easy. Watch a lot of baseball and think about fantasy football rankings.

Chuck

I will be at various baseball fields somewhere in Iowa watching my kids play baseball. That will be followed by a rousing round of mowing the lawn before the Army requests to use my yard to simulate jungle conditions.

Cap’n obvious

I have an old man league baseball game at Banning HS in Wilmington, CA. Bring the kids and the Kevlar and watch the Cap’n try to improve on his 1.205 OPS with a metal rocket launcher. Guaranteed to see real pitchers, no machines. First to arrive gets 1 free signed Cap Obvious baseball. second prize is 2 Cap Obvious balls.

We are then celebrating Mrs. Obvious’ birthday, which falls on Fathers Day weekend, and generally runs through July 4th.

Jedi

Glad I’m not the only one who lets my lawn grown beyond a respectable length with regularity.

My wife has decided we need to cut four giant holes in the exposed concrete wall of our basement so we can insert windows. I will be on the noisy, dusty end of a concrete chop saw. The Mrs. and kids will be watching from a safe distance. Happy Father’s Day to me.