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About The Pizzle

Welcome to The Pizzle!

In case you’re wondering what “pizzle” is, here you go. And if you’re too lazy to click on the Wikipedia link, well, “pizzle” is another word for animal penis. Why would a professional food writer start a blog about penis? Because people eat it. Also, I’m an assclown and not the most serious food writer in the world. But you know what?

That’s okay.

These days, food writing has gotten out of hand. To me, food writing should be less about bragging about the places you go to eat, and how much money you spent, and more about sharing the experience and teaching people new things about food. All food. Fast food, bad home-cooked meals, fine dining, it all has its place. Frankly, most of the food we eat is some form of trainwreck even if we’re not willing to admit it.

Food writing certainly has its perks, but if you’re reading about something and it makes you feel bad or left out for not being at an exclusive event, or not being able to afford a fancy meal, then someone fucked up. And it certainly wasn’t you. Remember, you’re justifying the the writer’s existence by reading their stuff. We’re a sadly egotistical bunch.

So who am I? I’m Dannis Ree, the aforementioned professional assclown. See below:

How could you not trust a face like that? I’m a child prodigy. Or a shriveled old adult who isn’t nearly as cute now as he was back then.