Dateline: CALCUTTA—Religious leaders all over the world are praying for Donald Trump’s comeuppance.

These leaders believe that President Trump’s flaunting of his psychopathic narcissism is lamentable not just because his mental condition threatens the neoliberal world order with a humiliating downfall, but because Mr. Trump has “yet to feel the wrath of God’s moral order,” as Bishop Sean O’Malley said in an interview with Jesus Freak Magazine.

Bishop O’Malley was himself demoted from his position as Archbishop of Boston, after he was caught molesting young teenagers in his diocese.

“I sinned and received my comeuppance,” said the bishop. “I felt a foretaste of God’s wrath when the people of Boston discovered my shameful secret. I lost my job as archbishop and must now learn to be content with being just a bishop. The job title sounds much cooler with an ‘arch’ in front of it.

“But the point is that President Trump hasn’t yet suffered at all for his wickedness. On the contrary, for decades he’s been rewarded with women, wealth, fame, and political power, all of which makes God look bad and maybe even nonexistent.

“We pray that Donald Trump has the capacity to suffer and that God won’t allow him to pass away without first restoring the good name of Creation by punishing the dickens out of that troll.”

The fear not just in Bishop O’Malley’s diocese but in churches and temples all across the world is that President Trump is mocking God by getting away with his flagrant assaults against good taste.

“A young bully isn’t supposed to keep bullying and acting like a spoiled child throughout his whole life, until he’s over seventy and still going strong as a hideous stain on the honour of humankind,” said Swami Rudra Bhandari. “Somewhere along the line the world is supposed to punish him until he’s forced to correct his behaviour. The world is always watching and teaching us to free ourselves from the prison of ignorance.

“But President Trump’s continued success represents a miracle of evil. It’s as if there were no moral order and all spirituality were a fraud. Spiritual beings across the land cannot let this affront to our dignity stand. We don’t wish to keep living if the gods permit Trump to make a mockery of enlightenment. So we pray for Trump to learn the error of his ways, to see his true form in the mirror of purified consciousness. We pray for his comeuppance.”

Zen master Genzo Hayashi struggled to maintain his composure after learning of President Trump’s inhuman exploits, from the daily news.

“I was taken aback,” he said. “Such stunning ignorance usually destroys itself in a frenzy of foolishness. For him to revel in his psychological deformity and yet to fail upwards, reaching such spectacular heights of wealth and power—for that dreadful creature to become a billionaire and president of the American empire—is a stunning revelation.

“Either the world’s religions are missing a big piece of the puzzle or Donald Trump is facing comeuppance of an order of magnitude the world has never seen. We pray that the karmic forces have only been storing up their vengeance against Trump’s monstrosity, and that when he’s faced with the moral consequences of his disgraceful actions, and suffers greatly, he won’t take the whole planet down with him.”

Ben Cain is a misanthropic omega male who likes to think that the more you suffer, the funnier you can be, and the more of an alienated loser you are, the more you can withstand coming face to face with the horrors of reality. He dedicated himself to discovering whether suffering has a meaning and so he earned a meaningless Ph.D. in analytic philosophy. He shares his findings by writing philosophical rants on his blog, Rants within the Undead God, and he's published a novel, called God Decays, which is available on Amazon. Also, he's pretentiously written this bio in the third person even though he rarely partakes of such conventional trickery.