"A gentle breeze flows through my hair as I stand where I'd spent so much of my childhood."
"It's a sorry excuse for a baseball pitch, I suppose. Not much more than a disused field near the school, covered in dirt and tan gravel. The only sign of what it was ever used for are the barely visible white lines on the ground, and a couple of benches to the side."
"The batting stance is still second nature after all these years, a reasonably straight branch serving as a makeshift bat as I prepare for the pitch. The beat-up pitching machine before me stands silent, ready to spit a ball at me at any second."
"A heavy clunk sends the entire machine shuddering on its legs, the ball sent flying towards me at a relatively easy speed."
"The familiar feeling of impact flows through my arm, my entire body twisting as I give a good, solid hit."
"The ball flies up, arcing into the sky..."
"...Before giving up, pathetically dropping back down near second base. It gives a soft thud as it hits the ground, all energy lost as it barely even rolls before coming to a halt."
"Worthless. Utterly shit. I knew I shouldn't have tried."
"Infuriated, I slam the stick against the ground, breaking it in half without even trying. The spike of adrenaline in my system spurrs me into flinging the half still in my hand into the air in a rage, sending it flying far further than the ball ever got."
"Far from satisfied, I walk over to the pitching machine and give it a strong kick. the old thing falls to the ground with a loud clatter, but I'm sure it still works just fine. It's managed to survive so damn long that I probably couldn't kill it no matter how much I abused the thing."
"The destruction at least lets me vent off a bit of steam, leaving me standing around frustrated and empty-handed. For lack of anything else to do, I give up and let myself fall back onto the ground with a thud. It hurts a bit to land on the gravel, but I don't care."
"This is why being left to myself is always trouble; my mind wanders into troublesome places. Looking at the impossibly vast blue sky above, I'm left to wonder what I really expected from coming out here."
"Baseball's supposed to be played with both hands still attached to their wrists, after all. It's pathetic - I can't even get a clean hit past the bases, let alone aim in any meaningful way. It's obvious time wouldn't change that, but something in my head kept whispering to me. Urging me to try just once, for old time's sake."
"I guess that part of my head can shut up, now."
"As I stare up at the sky, a face cast in shadow looms over me."
his "Hey."
mik "'Sup. What're you doing here?"
his "Just wanted to see what you were up to, after how you disappeared."
mik "Suzu with you?"
his "Nah, she's napping. At least, she was when I left."
"I wonder how much he saw. Then again, it doesn't really matter. Being at a baseball field is plenty enough to understand, much less the pitching machine lying near me."
"Hisao briefly looks up to see what I was staring at."
his "That sure is a sky."
mik "Smartass."
mik "...Did you take dad's bike up here?"
his "Yeah. Why?"
mik "You sure you're okay to bike this far? After yesterday and all."
his "I'm fine, don't worry about it."
"Hisao steps back, the tone of his voice telling me that I've hit a landmine. He really doesn't like talking about his heart condition."
"I pull myself to my feet in response, dusting off my hair and the back of my shirt afterwards."
mik "You don't need to be like that. Everyone's got their share of problems to deal with, you know."
"My stomach chooses now of all times to growl loudly. Farting around at midday may have been a mistake. Hiso just grimaces."
his "You don't say."
# Timeskip
"While some things might be the same, there are a few oddities that have popped up since I left. This place is one of them."
"It's the kind of eatery that wants to be a restaurant, but can't help feeling more like a cafe. While the owner seems to be making a genuine effort at making their dream come true in owning their own little restaurant, their budget - and likely their customer base - is lacking."
"But the food is what counts, and as the owner places a bowl of tempura soba before each of us, the smell is enough to know this is going to be good."
"I split my chopsticks and grab at the tempura, taking a good chunk out of it as the noodles steam away. Hisao, on the other hand, simply blows on his bowl with the tempura still in it."
mik "C'mon man, what're you doing?"
his "What do you mean?"
mik "You're just gonna let it get all soggy?"
his "It's called 'letting it soak in the broth'. It tastes better."
mik "'Making a soggy mess in your noodles', more like."
"He just shrugs before idly looking about while his meal cools."
his "You know, there is something I've noticed about this town."
mik "Yeah?"
"I lean in, interested to hear his views on it."
his "I think saying it's a town is being too generous. It's definitely a village."
mik "Come on, really?"
his "The 'town centre' you wanted to show us before is one street!"
mik "So?"
his "A small street! I can count the number of shops on one hand!"
mik "Alright, fine, geez. We can't all come from the big smoke."
mik "Still a town."
"He just snorts as I mumble a last rebuke."
his "So why were you playing Godzilla in the baseball field, anyway?"
"And there it is. I guess I should've paid more attention to my surroundings before losing my temper."
"The two of us are briefly distracted by an impromptue visitor, with a dishevelled stray cat strolling past us as if it owned the place. It eventually hops up onto the sill of an open window, flicking its tail for a few moments before hopping down."
"Hisao just smiles, which at least lightens my own mood a little."
mik "I guess I just couldn't admit that it was over."
his "I had no idea you were so into baseball. Were you good?"
mik "Boy, I was the cleanup hitter. Slammed that thing harder than any of 'em could."
his "You must've been pretty talented."
mik "'Talent' is how lazy people justify being bad at something."
mik "I worked my god damn ass off to get that good. I lived and breathed baseball. Followed the leagues, had my favourite players, watched it on the little television even when the reception was shit. I put blood, sweat, and tears into it, all to run for the base just a second or so quicker, and hit the ball just a that few more yards."
mik "It was my thing, you know? I had purpose. I could always aim to be that little bit better every day. I never felt lost in life, because I could see the path ahead so clearly. I was going to devote myself to becoming the best there was, whether I was a boy or a girl."
mik "And then... the accident happened."
his "That must've been hard."
"I just shrug, making him lift a brow."
mik "It's kind of weird. Losing my hand in itself was a pain the the ass, of course. Found the physical therapy easier than most do, but that isn't really saying much."
mik "But the hardest thing to accept, was that I'd reached my peak. I'd reached the top of my personal Everest, and could only ever see lower mountains before me. My life would be all downhill from there."
mik "What do you do after you've reached the top, Hisao? In all these years, I've never found an answer."
mik "Sorry. I'm using you as a scratching post, aren't I?"
his "If I had an answer for that, I'd tell you. I'd sure like to know that myself."
mik "...Hisao?"
"He gets up from his chair, his meal finished save for some broth left sitting in the bowl."
his "Let's go. I'm sure the others are waiting for us to get back."
# Timeskip
"As soon as we walk in the door, bikes left propped against the wall, I can hear the voices of Suzu and dad from the living room. Wondering what they'd have to talk about, Hisao and I head towards the source."
"I groan the moment he slides open the door. The two sit at the table with an old leather-bound album opened in its centre, Suzu peering over to see this photo and that."
mik "Do you have to show them that...?"
jun "I don't get to do this often, you know."
"Resigned to my fate, I follow Hisao to the table. Everyone crowds around to get the best view as dad sits to the side."
"Having progressed past the baby photos and elementary school, it sits at the years I was in junior high. A school photo takes up most of the page, with a few elementary students sitting on chairs as about fourteen junior highschoolers - me included - stand behind them in our summer uniforms."
suz "I like the outfit."
"She points to the back row, the girls clad in our black-trimmed white sailor tops and long black skirts, and the boys in their smart white shirts. I don't mind the look, though they tended to get dirty pretty fast."
suz "Was this seriously the whole school?"
jun "Sure was. One class for elementary students, another for junior high. The teachers were good folks, despite whatever Miki's said."
his "That's you, isn't it?"
"He points to a girl in the back row, grinning away happily."
mik "How'd you know?"
"Dad chuckles as he turns the page, but the corner of his mouth tugs downwards upon catching sight of the next photo."
"Ten boys and a girl, all of us dressed in identical pinstrip baseball outfits. A lot less formal than the classroom photo, some have arms around those next to them, while others pull faces. One of my better friends at the time grabs me in close around my neck as I hold my trusty bat over my shoulder. Our ponytailed coach simply stands by us, smiling with pride at the team he worked so hard to raise."
"Every one of us was a friend to each other. We had fights of course, as friends sometimes do. As we got older, those fights sometimes ended up with real injuries, too. Given a focus for our youthful energy, we all poured ourselves into the sport, trying to be the best junior team there was."
"The last few months of my life here saw that wonderful life crumble before my eyes."
"I notice Hisao looking sidelong at me. Without knowing quite how to react, I just look away."
suz "So this is the baseball club you were in."
suz "Wait, you were the only girl?"
mik "Yeah. Why?"
suz "A lot of things about you suddenly made a lot of sense..."
his "It's kind of hard to even recognise you, given you're all wearing the same stuff."
mik "Puberty sure took a whack at me didn't it?"
"Hisao's constant attempts to be tactful make it all too tempting to tease him."
suz "What happened to them? Are they still around?"
jun "They left for the city. Happens a lot, these days."
his "I heard about that. Lots of rural places having problems with the younger generations moving out, without people replacing them."
jun "That's exactly it. The way I see it, there's not much of a future in places like this."
suz "That must be frustrating."
jun "Frustrating? Nah. Some of the older folks 'round here have Opinions when it comes to today's kids, but I don't hold it against 'em."
jun "You two would know better than most how inviting city life must be. 'Convenient' was the word they used when they described it after leaving."
suz "But still, this is your home."
jun "It might be a home, but it's also a business. Gotta make money to live, after all."
jun "When you're up against those gigantic agriculture corporations, little family farms like this one don't stand much of a chance. It's the same story for all the farms here, whether the old coots admit it or not."
jun "While it used to be a vibrant, lively place, I can't help but feel the town's not much more than a museum piece these days. Don't know if it'll take years or decades, but eventually this way of life just isn't going to exist any more."
suz "I'm sorry for bringing it up."
jun "Don't be. Change happens, I know that. Ain't a good thing or a bad one. It's just the way things go."
jun "But even so... I guess it does feel a little bit sad."
"Hisao and Suzu appear to take him at his word, but I know something else lies behind those tired eyes. A wound that never truly healed."
"With that, he solemnly closes the album."
# Timeskip
"Once again, I find myself sitting on the porch in the cool nighttime air. I suppose it's natural to want some time alone when surrounded by people the entire day, even if it does mean getting less sleep."
"I look down at the photo held in my lap once more. Eleven happy kids, beaming at the camera. A girl with a bat, and a toothy smile."
his "You're up late."
"He takes a seat beside me, plopping himself down with a grunt. My first instinct is to hide the photo, but the question of where I possibly could puts a stop to that."
mik "Become a bit of a nightly rendevous, huh?"
his "Purely by accident, I swear."
mik "You're not just feeling randy again?"
his "So this is what I get for being worried about you. That's harsh."
"We both chuckle, though it ends as Hisao looks down at the picture in my hand. I doubt he picked up on dad's feelings, but my moaning beforehand probably stuck with him."
his "It's a nice photo."
his "You know, I was surprised not to see more baseball stuff around your house when I arrived."
mik "Not much reason to keep that stuff. It only ever reminded me of what I lost, so I threw it all away."
"I hold the photo up a little."
mik "You know... I tried to get rid of this, too. I scavanged a cigarette lighter, and had the photo right there."
mik "I just hated it. It was the last record of everything that was taken away from me; my friends, my hobby, my dreams."
mik "I wanted to get rid of it so much, but..."
his "...it's hard to truly let go."
"With the words stolen from my mouth, I silently look to the boy sitting next to me. He looks like an old man, the weary smile on his face making my heart sting a little."
mik "You..."
his "The letter you saw, from Iwanako?"
his "I couldn't bring myself to throw it out. Scrunched it up and threw it into the bin, but I ended up just digging it back out."
mik "But she broke up with you. What's the point in keeping something like that?"
his "Because it proves those times existed. Just because she broke up with me, it doesn't mean the times we had before that went away."
his "It's not just her, either. Ever since I saw the nostalgia on your face, I guess I felt sort of the same thing as I thought back to my childhood."
his "I know it's not the same as baseball was to you, but I never appreciated how much soccer practice meant to me until I lost it. Just getting together with friends every week to kick a ball around. It sounds so trivial, doesn't it?"
"He leans back and closes his eyes, his mind obviously in another place."
his "Messing around at arcades with friends. Gazing at cute girls. Sneaking peeks at dirty magazines in convenience stores. Riding bikes around the city. Covertly exchanging notes with friends during class. Hoping for a good mark as each new test rolled around."
his "And then sitting alone in a hospital bed, smelling bleach and staring at four sterile white walls."
mik "What happened to them? Your friends, that is."
his "They visited damn near every day at first, All of us chatting away as they kept me up to date on what was happening at school and at soccer."
his "Then it became once every few days. Then once a week. As time went on, we stopped talking so much. None of us outright said it, but it was pretty obvious I was moving further and further from ym circle of friends. They were living lives full of new experiences every day, while I just saw the occasional new patient wheeled into the room every so often."
his "Then finally, one day... they stopped coming at all."
his "I guess they got bored of me."
mik "How can you say that so easily?"
his "Hmm... probably because I knew it was coming. It was the same for Iwanako, as well. A long, slow fade to nothing, rather than any kind of dramatic breakup."
his "I suppose that's why I couldn't throw out that letter. It'd be easy to say my life got reset when I started at Yamaku, but that'd be a lie."
his "I lived. It was a good life, too. Even if I can't return to those times any more, I think I want to remember them."
mik "And that's what you wanted to say to me before."
his "Pretty much. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I kinda get what you're going through."
"I did come here to show Hisao and Suzu what country life was like, but in the process, I got completely distracted by the relics of my old life. Here I was thinking about myself, while Hisao was there going through all the same shit."
"Only now do I realise what made me notice him in the first place after he transferred in. That feeling of connection, of sharing something, that was always in the background."
"'You're not alone'. Those three words are enough to make a lump form in my throat. I take a deep breath to try and steady myself."
mik "Man... what the hell?"
mik "I thought I had all my shit together, and then you go and drop that on me."
"I just sigh and smile at him, clearing my thoughts as I do."
mik "Thanks. That means a lot."
"He just smiles, the two of us looking up into the night sky."