I hurt for a long time because of childhood sexual abuse. Now I want to provide a safe place for hurting men to connect with other survivors of sexual abuse. Talk to us. You don't have to use your real name to share your experiences or ask questions.

Some of us struggle more with memories of the past than others do. They come back as quick, spurts of something in the past and they're gone. Or they torment us, often for days.

During those in-an-instant experiences, we relive our molestation. Despite their brevity, often they’re so intense it feels as if the abuse is happen­ing a second time. "I felt like my priest was molesting me again," one man said. "It was horrible."

Who wants to re-experience such terrible moments? It's natural to want to deny them or medicate ourselves so that we don’t hurt again.

But what if we valued flashbacks? What if re-experiencing is a required step toward wholeness? What if they’re signals for us to pay attention because they aid us in our healing?

I hated it when memories haunted me—until I figured out something. I need them. Only by bringing them to the surface once again can I free myself from them.

At least four years have passed since I've had any in-a-flash memories of my childhood abuse. Their absence says enough healing has taken place that I no longer need them.

I need to face the past

to heal the pain of the present.

(This post was adapted from Not Quite Healed, written by Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe.)

2 comments:

I have never really had any flashbacks. I know a hired man molested me when I was around 12 but the memory is very sketchy. The other day I travelled to my brothers place and as his daughter and I went through old photos I ran across a picture of the guy who molested me. It bothered me when I saw the picture but stuck it in my pocket anyway and the last few days have looked at it, trying to figure out what happened back there. It has always brought emotional pain to me when I recall the afore mentioned molestation and hear of anyone else who has experienced sexual abuse. I often wonder why I can't remember what occurred there as a kid. I know it affected me drastically. Have prayed so much about that.

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A Woman's Guide to Helping Him Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation

A Note from Cec

I started Men Shattering the Silence as a safe place for hurting and healing men. The blog is to offer insight and encouragement for sharing our lives with each other. This isn’t a chat room or a typical sharing group. Please don’t send personal messages to other blog readers. I want the entries to be of a general nature and focus on healing and growth.

If any of you want to talk to me personally, you may email me at cec.murp@comcast.net. If you want to make direct contact with someone on the blog who gives his name, I’ll send your request to that person and leave it up to him whether to respond.

Thank you for reading this blog. I’ve been on the healing path a long time. I’m still learning and growing when I read your comments.

Have a story to share?

Send it to cec.murp@comcast.net. You don't have to use your name.

About Me

I'm a survivor of sexual abuse. As a child, I kept quiet; as an adult, I "forgot." When I felt safe, I faced my abuse and talked about it. The more open I am in sharing my pain and recovery, the more healed I become.