inside joy

Author's note: Over the past month I have been graced with the privilege of working with people who's lives are changing so radically that they are in a period of unknown. They are in deep transition. My middle name is Ann. I am the Ann to whom this letter is addressed in the title. Therefore, this letter is as much a testimony to those who are suffering in transition now as it is to my 36 year old self who was in that place not so long ago.

This is the sh*ts. You've come to a point of great unknown. It's equally painful and numb. It hurts psychically. It hurts physically. The pain is hot and searing. The numb parts are like dead wood. The pain and the numbness are relentless. Everything that you know to do isn't having an affect. The new things you're trying are illuminating and give you hope to keep going but so far, they bring no relief. All the while your world is getting smaller and smaller shrinking to a point where it's difficult to hold on to the essential human need for meaning and purpose.

How can this be you?

Relief on any level would be great right now. Healing and recovery, I know, are distant thoughts left in the realm of hopes and dreams. Relief is most welcome.

Why? Why God why? You're young. You've worked hard your whole life. It's supposed to be a time of new beginnings, of following your daily whims, of traveling, and climbing those high mountains that you love so dearly.

If I could take this away for you, I would. But I don't know how. I don't know how you're going to get through this. I don't know when and if the relief will come.

One thing I know for certain is that I'm resolute in giving you everything I have to help you live this in your way. Even as your world shrinks around you you still are the master of your realm and you get to do this on your own terms.

Today I offer up borrowed wisdom from Cheryl Strayed: "Live like a motherf*cker."

I know that's not how you speak. That this is an offensive way to encourage you. Bear with me for what's required here is an act of defiance.

You see, we come from strong stock. We are supposed to be able to face anything head on and by god destroy it if necessary if it will not bend to our will. We are supposed to be thin, active, and healthy. We persevere at all costs. Pain and all we push through. We keep going. We show up. No matter what.

How can you show up and assert your will over this when the mere act of getting out of bed in the morning uses almost a day's worth of energy reserves?

Live like a motherf*cker.

Let yourself be fragile. Let yourself be delicate.

Fragile is not weak.

It's an act of great courage to let yourself be fragile.

Fragile is not weak. Fragile is not freeloading. Fragile doesn't require unhealthy co-dependence. Fragile does not mean your life is over.

Fragile is simply fragile. Fragile gives you permission to explore and to experience life in a new way. How does Fragile move through the world? How is Fragile cared for? How does Fragile spend her days? Who are Fragile's friends and what do they do together? What does Fragile enjoy to do in her solitude?

I've attached some images of things that I think of as fragile. They are by no means weak. They are tender. They are delicate. They are revered. They require a certain kind of care. They require certain conditions to thrive. We interact with them in a very special way. How would you move through the world if you were one of these things?

I invite in Grace and Loving Kindness as your talismans for this transition into Fragile. Grace for the confusion, the unknowing, the pain. Loving Kindness to all of you. It's a delicate process to transition into Fragile. It would be natural to make your heritage of strength and force the enemy. Send it Loving Kindness instead. It's this strength that will carry you to Fragile.

It's okay to be fragile. You can build a bridge to this rich and delicate zone. You'll find there's beauty there. You'll find there's grief. You'll find the nuance. You'll discover how it gives life. You can do this. You can feel this. You can live this.

I love you,

Kate

P.S. Scroll down to see the images of Fragile. Let me know how they strike you. What images come to you when you consider Fragile? Hit reply and let me know.

A month ago I launched a new group class series called, Do Different. This series is about doing things differently to get different results. In it my guides and I laid the groundwork for creating change in our lives. If you missed it, click here to get your copy.

The next Do Different call is on Friday, May 5 at 10:00am Pacific. (Note: if you read the fine print in my last email you will notice that the time has changed, again. This is the official day and time. My life is in transition at the moment too)!

This call will be centered around letting ourselves be Fragile. This is a zone that many of us have difficulty accessing. I will make this safe enough to open the door to that rich and delicate zone.

1. What if I can't be live on the call? Will I still benefit from the work? - Yes. Energy is not limited by time or space. You will receive the recording and can listen to it at your convenience.

2. If energy isn't limited by time or space do I need to listen to it at all? - Yes. Participation, however passive or active it may feel, is required to receive optimal benefits.

3. I'm really interested. How do I sign up? - Simply click the Do Different - Signup Here link above and you will be taken to a signup and checkout page. When you signup there are a couple of questions for you to answer to bring focus to the call. Short answers are just fine. Respond in a way that suits you.

4. Will I receive reminders? - Yes. Once you sign up you will receive the call-in information and reminders up to 1 hour before the event.

5. I have friends who would love this. Can I invite him and her? - Absolutely. The more the merrier. We are out to do a good bit of different around here. Simply forward this email to them or you can add as many people as you want to your checkout. Just be sure to let me know where to send the recording after the call.

6. I have more questions. How do I reach you? - Awesome. Simply reply to this email and ask away. Thank you.

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Kate Eskew

Welcome. This is where I share what's on my mind and in my heart. You'll see that there's an offer to work with me in every letter. I'm shifting that as I go. Whether the offers excite you or turn you off I hope you find a juicy nugget or two in here that infuses you with more of you. Be kind to yourself because you rock. - Kate

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