Welcome back, Gleeks! I hope y'all had a fantabulous holiday hiatus. In this first "Glee" episode of the New Year, we have William McKinley High School's first annual Sadie Hawkins dance, courtesy of a proposal from Tina.

Meanwhile, in New York, Kurt realizes that NYADA is just like high school in that there are cliques everywhere and considers joined Adam's Apples (the school's show choir) to make new friends. Rachel, however, swears that doing so would basically be social suicide since the show choir ranks so low on the popularity totem pole.

But Kurt's persuaded by this so-called Adam, who invites him to watch the apples perform a slo-mo version of "I Like Big Butts." Seriously, I cannot adequately describe this. If you missed it, google it right now. I'll be here waiting...

Watched it? Good! See what I mean?! How can something so wrong be somehow so right? Anyways, back at WMHS, Finn says the girls should sing to the guys they want to ask to the dance. Tina's up first with "I Don't Know How to Love Him" from "Jesus Christ Superstar." And it appears as though she's singing to Blaine. Umm...Tina, you do know that he doesn't bat for your team, right?

So my heart breaks for her when Blaine declines her invitation. But, we later find out Blaine said no because he has a crush on someone else. A straight, blond someone else named Sam. As in, Sam who's sorta-kinda dating Britt Britt. Hmm... Tina, who apparently has a crush on Blaine, suggests the two attend the dance as best friends.

Marlie, however, has better luck when she serenades Jake with an old-school number called "Tell Him" and he says yes. Yayyy!!! Little Quinn aka Kitty is acting like a little biatch and tries to lure Jake away with the promise of s-e-x. C'mon, Kitty, that's like the oldest trick in the book. At least be original with your conniving ways!

A confused Jake seeks out advice from his older and wiser (?) brother, Puck, who tells him to say no to the goods and go with Marlie. Because, as he puts it, he's had "every flavor of Cheerio...original, honey nut," and it wasn't worth it.

Jake, being the good guy that he is, heeds his brother's advice and leaves Kitty alone. Puck, however, can't say no to Kitty (in more ways than one) and goes as her date. Interestingly enough, they seem to have actual chemistry. Could Puck have finally met his match?

Tina hits a homerun with her Sadie Hawkins gown option...a one-shoulder blue-ish sheath dress with a see-through floor-length overlay. The guys sing TLC's "No Scrubs" and it's pretty good. Then again, I'm a fan of anything that involves Blaine and bow ties. Or really just bow ties, in general. Hi, my name is L'Oreal and I have a bow tie fetish.

Now that that's out of the way, Jake tries to convince Marlie she's safe with him and they end the evening with a kiss. Coach Beiste convinces the single ladies to stop being wallflowers and ask the guys to dance. Blaine and Tina almost share a kiss, but Sam drags Blaine away to check out the new evidence he has that the Warblers used performance enhancing drugs during sectionals. They even get a former Warbler to spill the beans to Finn. If this is true, then the Warblers are disqualified and New Directions is back in the game!

Oh yea, and Kurt asked out Adam and Rachel got mad at Brody because he was 45 minutes late to their dinner date. But then they dance and she suggest he moves in. Whaaat?!

Calling all Gleeks: It's the moment you've not-so-patiently waited for all summer! Season 4 kicks off 9 p.m. Sept. 13 on Fox, but you can catch up on some of your favorite characters here. By L'Oreal Thompson

So "Dancing With the Stars" has finally succumbed to that reality-show milestone of putting together and "All-Star" edition. TV Lust recapper Amy Watts gives her take on how the returning dancers will do this season (premiering 8 p.m. Sept. 24).