AIBU to send this to StbxH solicitor, it will almost certainly mean DC's will have virtually NO contact with StbxH?

DH has MH problems, severe short term memory problems, Currenlty lives with his sis ( my EVIL SIL)she controls his life and especially his contact with his DC'sI have taken DC's to visit him ( 7 hour round trip) regularly.He has NEVER come to see them since he left in Aug 2012.Skypes once a month or less.

The crunch has come in that he did not come to a VERY important religious event for our youngest DC last week, even though he had PROMISED he was coming and then bailed.

Communictaion with him is limited to e-mails that are ignored unless it is something HE wants. I do not have any phone contact`at all. I need to get as much "in" as possible so that if ONE part is responded to I then have confirmation that the WHOLE email was recieved. Otherwise his "memory" will be blamed and the content of the e-mail denied.

this is what I am thinking of sending.

thanks if you have read this far.

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Contact with children.

In the foreseeable future, Catfourfeet will not be taking the children to visit StbxH in Another Town. Visits have proved distressing for the children.

As StbxH has chosen to live 150 miles from his children it is his responsibility to arrange alternative arrangements for his / his close familys contact with the children.

If (due to StbxHs memory problems) StbxH is unable to arrange contact himself then Catfourfeet suggests that advice is sought from those individuals (either professional or personal) who are currently assisting StbxH with his living arrangements, medial care, financial matters etc.

Once suitable arrangements have been put in place Catfourfeet will make the children available for contact; a months notice will be required.

Other forms of contact that are immediately available to StbxH:Text, voice mail, e-mail, skype, letter, face book.

If StbxH does not arrange for collection of these items before June 30th they will be disposed of.

Emergency contact with children

In the event that one of the children suffers a life threatenting illness / injury and StbxHs presence is urgently required would he wish to be informed? How would he like to be contacted during office hours / outside of office hours?

If Catfourfeet does not receive any instruction in this matter then she will assume that StbxH does not wish to be contacted in the event of serious illness / injury.

E-mail communication

E-mails received from StbxH will only be accepted if they confirmed by an additional individual who has regular contact with StbxH (nominated by StbxH).

This ensures that, given StbxH's memory problems, a trusted individual is aware of the email communication in and out of StbxHs account and can advise him accordingly.

Emails sent by Catfourfeet that are not acknowledged will be assumed to have not reached the recipient.

Until such an arrangement has been put in place Catfourfeet will only accept communication via StbxHs solicitor.

Hi, I was thinking about you just yesterday, I don't post much on your previous threads but your situation sounded horrendous.i hope things are ok for you and your children.that email sounds fair and reasonable.best of luck

It all sounds perfectly sensible. The only bit I would reconsider is the month's notice. That seems to imply that contact will be extremely rare by your choice. I would drop it down to 2 week's notice, or a week's notice with the proviso that if it isn't convenient to you then it will have to be rearranged.