How I Feel About Fandom (Right Now)
Fandom can be an amazing place. It has the potential to be an amazing place. I've learned so much, been exposed to much - who could have guessed? From indepth academic meta on Marlowe and Shakespeare to Critical Anti Imperialist Theory to the Invocation of Historical Repetitive Thematic Imagery & Statements in Storytelling to The Sexual Revolution & You. It can be this amazing place to grow and explore. I believe in Fandon U. And yet...

And yet...

The isms have been spraying all over the place like a viagra bukkake party. And no one seems to want to even say excuse me for hitting you with splooge. They grumble instead. They side-eye. They talk about schisming, and the olden days and PC Policing. There is lamentation that the space has slowly been acknowledging it is affected by the attitudes and policies of the rest of the world.

Sometimes my subconscious supplies musical bits of protest to go along with all the crap I keep seeing; Integration No! Segregation Forever!. It feels a fitting match for the declaration of continued safe space for privilege & continued dehumanizing and uncaring of others.

There's so much; Why are they speaking up now? They never had a problem before! Some people are just looking for things to be offended by! This is all a grudgematch! Grudgewank! They're trying to destroy fandom by watering it down! They're trying to destroy fandom by making things impossible! They want too much!

I've never seen so many people complain so hard about not being written off; about their peers trying to engage them. In my exhaustion it's become amusing to see people huffing up indignant against being called out on things vs being written off as archaic and small-minded and being the part of humanity that needs to die off and drop to save the rest.

Would people rather be pushed into the category of hopeless cause - like the KKK and Tea Partiers? Apparently yes. Apparently it is less painful and discomforting for them to be written off than to be challenged to be as decent a human being as they think they are.

Because change is bad. And they've got their own - so let those others scrounge. And there are individuals behind the isming, delicate individuals who do not deserve upset. Because they're the victims here, they're being attacked by progress and revolution drains their spoons.

I appreciate fandom - but I am exhausted by seeing, time and time again, the scrabble to retain the status quo with intimidation & silencing to maintain power. Who knew Fandom wasn't an egalitarian University, but instead a cut-throat Principality and that anyone who disagreed with the majority automatically became a pleb and traitor.

I don't even know what to make of it. It's been like the reaction in 1970, when the San Francisco Commonwealth Club was told they had to allow women members. EVERYTHING WILL BE RUINED WE WILL HAVE TO START A SPECIAL NEW CLUB FOR THE MENS BECAUSE THE WOMENS WILL WANT THEIR OWN BATHROOM I'M OUT OF SPOONS!

The women in a Men's Club analogy did actually come to mind when I was writing. As it is, I'm trying to comfort myself with thoughts of the tipping point. That perhaps the whining is growing pains.

If I try to step back, it can sound a bit like "But OMG, this journal thing will change FANDOM FOREVER!" Though I'm not thinking the birth of social consciousness in fandom, particularly slash fandom, will be anything easy.

I'm afraid I get complacent because my fandom friends work at not failing. This group of folks, while not friends, are friends of friends, and I know these folks have been around discussion about warnings, and about privilege, for at least a couple of years. I assumed they had experienced some growth, even though I know privilege means having a bubble to be oblivious in. I'm astounded that years of discussion happening all around them seems to have...just not happened, as far as they're concerned.