Tag Archives: lifestyle

For the Newbies and not so new..
by Warlock 17 days ago
Hi! And welcome to the exciting world of kink. I’m sure it feels very exciting, wonderful and fuzzy. !!! But !!! Please take a bit of time to understand what you are getting into, how to navigate this whole new world and how to keep yourself safe and sane.

Please be aware that this choice puts you in a very vulnerable place, even people who have been around a long time can slip and miss warning signs at times. Spend the time you need to educate yourself, read all you can, ask questions, make choices about what you desire or will not put up with and be firm on those choices.

Always remember “No means No” Without consent, what we do is abuse and punishable by law. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

To start you on your path to enjoyment I have a few links to various postings which I believe are informational, relevant and educational. It is by no means exhaustive, but there should be enough to spin your mind a little. Beyond that, proceed with caution, stay safe and enjoy life.

Some groups with various forms of information. As always, take everything with a grain of salt. Adopt what feels right to you and discard that which feels wrong or does not fit.

Informational

Novices & Newbies
What It Is That We Do
Morals and Ethics
Mentors
BDSM Glossary
All I Need to Know about Play Parties, I Learned in Kindergarten
A Checklist

So they said it would not last but 12 years of broadcasting just shows that we are here to stay. We have lasted longer then any other BDSM network or shows. We started doing just a radio show and then came the Live broadcasting TV shows and we are still live.

We are live because of the dedication of the show hosts and the guest and most of all the people that have tuned in live or watched the archive shows. Over the last 4 Years we have over 4 million viewers and in the last year over 800,000.00 have watched the show.

We have interview hundreds of guests that come live on the show and will continue to do educational and informative shows.

Losing the studio three years ago was a huge set back but the last year showed us that TSRnetwork matters and so many people wish us to continue. For all the critics over the last 12 years we are still here and broadcasting.

Our Hosts do this from a part of their heart that says We Love Our Community in BDSM. These day with so many people coming in from the book and movie Fifty Shades of Grey, TSRnetwork at time is the door way to the vanilla world where they can come and watch real stories and advice from real people in BDSM.

We do this because of the love of BDSM and from wanting to educate new people to our life choice. We do this because it’s in our hearts and soul. For all the critics over the last 12 years that have said to shut down we say to them we are still here and broadcasting and education and saving lives. We believed in what we are doing as we are watched all over the world and in every state here in the U.S.A. We now have friends all over the world and get lots of letters saying thank you.

TSRnetwork had documented the last 12 years of our life style with such amazing guest that it makes my heart spin. To all the host present and past and guest and viewers with that I say THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN US AND BEING A PART OF TSRNETWORK.COM The Real Fifty Shades of Grey.
#tsrnetwork
#bdsm
#therealfiftyshadesofgrey
#real50shadesofgrey
#talkingsexradio
#BDSMTV

The University of Illinois at Chicago student allegedly beat his victim with a belt while sexually assaulting her.

We will see more and more of this sort of press and actions. The book and movie is out there and now we must work on education and keeping our life choice safe. Leaders in your community must work together in educating people that coming into the life style. Sorry to say we will see more this in the up coming year from this book and the movie.

A 19-year-old University of Illinois at Chicago freshman was arrested on Saturday, charged with one count of aggravated criminal sexual assault. He allegedly told police that he and the 19-year-old woman he was with were re-enacting Fifty Shades of Grey scenes.

Hossain allegedly proceeded to cover her eyes with a knit cap, remove the rest of her clothing and hit her with both a belt and his fists. When the woman told him to stop, started crying and began to wiggle her arms free, Karr said Hossain held her arms back and sexually assaulted her. Prosecutors said when Hossain’s roommate came home following the incident, Hossain held the door shut. Eventually, the woman left and called the police.

Where are all the Fifty Shades of Grey Events? We have all been here well before the book or the movie. Countless people from all over the world have been living this life choice of Fifty Shades of Grey for thousands of years.

This is not going to change who we are or affect us in the long run. Fads fade out but the Real 50 Shades of people will never be just a fad.

I get so many people in my class S/m 101 Open Forum at The Lair de Sade that have read the book and are curious some will deiced that this is not for them and many will be our leaders of tomorrow. I support all the new people that keep our life choice going onto the future.

We are not a book a movie or adverting campaign we are real people that live breath this train of thought of BDSM and S/m and so much more.

Just like the Story of O, Exit to Eden, 9 1/2 Weeks and The Secretary it has not changed our life style and it might add a moment of excitement to our conversion but its not going to make us better or worst.

In a few months it will be Netflix, Amazon and Google Play and it will move into the past. it will be talked about about 20 years from now when someone do a fad timeline ..

So you want a Fifty Shades of Grey Event just go one of your local dungeons or munches and start really seeing what we are all about. Fifty Shades of Grey is just a book and a movie and nothing more. It does not represent who we are as a community or a life choice. We are who we are and nothing is going to change this.

Kinky spirituality in my own opinion is a huge part of how we play and how we think. When a submissive goes into sup-space where do they go? Or a Dom in their Dom-space? To me spirituality is about energy exchange between the universe and myself. I’m not sure what is out there and not sure why strange things happen to me all the time. When I go to a play party it’s very soothing to my state of mind, body and soul.

The structure of BDSM has things that spiritual people live every day like honor, integrity, trust and kindness. When spirituality is added to this it changes the way we play and live.

You never know where the light will touch you and what I mean by the light is enlightenment. I have been in a dungeon with the music blaring and hot heated scenes going on around me and I felt the presents of spiritual beings. I have channeled a few of those being and could feel a vibration thought out my whole body as they talked to me.

Woo Woo or being in the moment can change your life and take you on a different road. You never know when spirituality will hit you and start showing up in your play and life.

My spirituality is like a long lost lover returning back to my bed as the we share an amazing sensual moment in time with each other. Many don’t believe in some of the dogma of spirituality and shy away from it but for people like me it is the place that grounds me to this life force.

What is wonderful is we all get to chose our life and our beliefs and still be involved in BDSM. We all don’t walk the same path and we all make different choices on how and what we believe. From the beginning of my life in BDSM spirituality has been a huge part of who I am. Without would be like losing a close loving friend.

Come and join us for a fun filled evening. This is a fundraiser for TSRnetwork to keep BDSM TV Live Free to all viewers. Join us for your Anniversary Celebration. If you have been a guest, host or have watched the live and recorded shows please come and show your support for Live Free BDSM TV.

Can’t make the party but wish to show your support click on this link http://tinyurl.com/k7y5zel
**All of the proceeds will go to funding TSRnetwork.com and Keeping Live BDSM TV Going for years to come.**

This is a potluck so bring something to share.

TSRnetwork.com is the Web’s first live Network that broadcast free live show about BDSM and the lifestyles. Based in Hollywood, CA, the interactive talk shows combines top movers and shakers in the BDSM community, live interactive chats and a live in-studio audience for a truly one of a kind viewing experience.
We are changing the world one Vanilla at a time.

Asking your partner to tie you to the bedpost, telling them to slap you hard in the throes of lovemaking, dressing like a woman if you are a man, admitting a fetish for feet: Just a few years ago, any of these acts could be used against you in family court.

This was the case until 2010, when the American Psychiatric Association announced that it would be changing the diagnostic codes for BDSM, fetishism, and transvestic fetishism (a variant of cross-dressing) in the next edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published in 2013. The new definitions marked a distinction between behavior—for example, playing rough—and actual pathology. Consenting adults were no longer deemed mentally ill for choosing sexual behavior outside the mainstream.

The change was the result of a massive effort from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), an advocacy group founded in 1997 “to advance the rights of and advocate for consenting adults in the BDSM-Leather-Fetish, Swing, and Polyamory Communities.” At the time, these types of sexual behavior, by virtue of their inclusion in the DSM, were considered markers of mental illness—and, as a result, were heavily stigmatized, often with legal repercussions. In family court, an interest in BDSM was used as justification to remove people’s children from their custody.

“A sexual sadist practices on non-consenting people,” explains NCSF founder Susan Wright, while “someone who is kinky is having consensual enthusiastically desired sex.” The problem with the earlier DSM: It didn’t draw a distinction between the two. A 1998 survey from the NCSF found that “36 percent of S&M practitioners have been victims of harassment, and 30 percent have been victims of discrimination.” As a result, the organization’s website says, “24 percent [have lost] a job or a contract, 17 percent [have lost] a promotion, and 3 percent [have lost] custody of a child.”

“We were seeing the DSM used as a weapon,” says Race Bannon, an NCSF Board Member and the creator of Kink-Aware Professionals, a roster of safe and non-judgmental healthcare professionals for the BDSM and kink community. (The list is now maintained by the NCSF.) “Fifty Shades [of Grey] had not come along,” says Bannon, an early activist in the campaign to change the DSM. “[Kink] was still this dark and secret thing people did.”

Since its first edition was published in 1952, the DSM has often posed a problem for anyone whose sexual preferences fell outside the mainstream. Homosexuality, for example, was considered a mental illness—a “sociopathic personality disturbance”—until the APA changed the language in 1973. More broadly, the DSM section on paraphilias (a blanket term for any kind of unusual sexual interest), then termed “sexual deviations,” attempted to codify all sexual preferences considered harmful to the self or others—a line that, as one can imagine, is tricky in the BDSM community.

The effort to de-classify kink as a psychiatric disorder began in 1980s Los Angeles with Bannon and his then-partner, Guy Baldwin, a therapist who worked mostly with the gay and alternative sexualities communities. Bannon, a self-described “community organizer, activist, writer, and advocate” moved to Los Angeles in 1980 and soon became close with Baldwin through their mutual involvement as open participants in and advocates for the kink community. “I’m fairly confident that I was the first licensed mental-health practitioner anywhere who was out about being a practicing sadomasochist,” Baldwin says.

The pair was spurred to action after the 1987 edition of the DSM-III-R, which introduced the concept of paraphilias, changed the classifications for BDSM and kink from “sexual deviation” to actual disorders defined by two diagnostic criteria. To be considered a mental illness, the first qualification was: ‘‘Over a period of at least six months, recurrent, intense sexual urges and sexually arousing fantasies involving the act (real, not simulated) of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer.’’ The second: ‘‘The person has acted on these urges, or is markedly distressed by them.’’

“1987 was a bad shift,” Wright recalls. “Anyone who was [voluntarily] humiliated, beaten, bound, or any other alternate sexual expression was considered mentally ill.”

With the new language, Baldwin says, he quickly realized that laws regarding alternative sexual behavior would continue to be problematic “as long as the psychiatric community defines these behaviors as pathological.”

“I knew there were therapists around the world diagnosing practicing consensual sadomasochists with mental illness,” he says.

At the time that the new DSM was published, Baldwin and Bannon were planning to attend the 1987 march on Washington, D.C., in support of gay rights; after the new criteria came out, they decided to host a panel discussion for mental-health professionals in the State Department auditorium, where they announced the launch of what would come to be known as “The DSM Revision Project.”

“We asked how many people in the room were mental-health professionals,” Baldwin says, and “two-thirds of the people in the room raised their hands. And we said, ‘The way this needs to happen is, licensed medical practitioners need to write the DSM committee that reviews the language of the DSM concerned with paraphilias.’”

Around 40 or 50 people left the session with the information needed to write the letters. “We did not know exactly what would result,” Bannon recalls. “We did not think we would see dramatic changes suddenly.”

They didn’t—but the changes they did see were positive. The next edition of the DSM, published in 1994, added that to be considered part of a mental illness, “fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors” must “cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.”

“This was a definite improvement from the DSM-III-R,” says Wright, who later took over leadership of the DSM Revision Project from Bannon and Baldwin.

“These criteria gave [health professionals] wiggle room to say, ‘They have issues, but it is not about their kink. For the vast majority, it is just the way they have sex,’” Bannon explains. “Rather than saying, ‘Because you are into this method of sexuality, you are sick,’ [they could say], ‘Pathologically, if this impacts your life negatively, then you have a problem.’”

But the new language in the 1994 DSM also allowed for wiggle room of a different kind: The threshold of “significant distress” was often loosely interpreted, with the social stigma of kink, rather than kink itself, causing the negative impact on people’s lives. Workplace discrimination and violence were on the rise, according to a 2008 NCSF survey, and people were still being declared unfit parents as a result of their sexual preferences: Eighty of the 100 people who turned to the NCSF for legal assistance in custody battles from 1997-2010 lost their cases.

A few years after the 1994 DSM was published, Wright decided it was time to fight for another revision. When she founded the organization in 1997, the NCSF’s goal was a change to the APA’s diagnostic codes that separated the behavior (e.g., “he likes to restrict his breathing during sex”) from the diagnosis (e.g., “his desire to restrict his breath means that he must be mentally ill”). The next DSM, the group argued, should split the paraphilias from the paraphilic disorders, so that simply enjoying consensual BDSM would not be considered indicative of an illness.

Their efforts were largely ignored by the APA until early 2009, when Wright attended a panel discussion at New York City’s Philosophy Center on why people practice BDSM. Among the panelists was psychiatrist Richard Krueger, whose expertise included the diagnosis and treatment of paraphilias and sexual disorders.

During the meeting, Wright says, “I brought up the point that the DSM manual caused harm to BDSM people because it perpetuated the stigma that we were mentally ill. [Krueger] heard me and said that was not what they intended with the DSM.” Krueger, it turned out, was on the APA’s paraphilias committee, and following the meeting opened up an email dialogue between Wright and the other committee members, in which Wright provided documentation about the violence and discrimination kinky people experienced. “I credited that to the DSM,” she says. “Courts used it. Therapists used it. And it was being misinterpreted.”

Over the next year, “I sent him information, he gave it to the group, they asked questions, and I responded. It was very productive,” Wright recalls. “We [the NCSF] felt we were heard, we were listened to—and they took [our arguments] into account when they changed the wording” of the DSM in 2010.

Another major factor in the NCSF’s favor was a paper, co-written by sexual-medicine physician Charles Moser and sexologist Peggy J. Kleinplatz and published in 2006 in the Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality, titled “DSM IV-TR and the Paraphilias: An Argument for Removal.” According to Wright, the paper, which “summed up opinions of mental-health professionals who thought you shouldn’t include sexual activity in the DSM,” played a significant role in the paraphilia committee’s eventual shift in language.

In February 2010 the proposed change was made public—clarifying, Wright says, that “the mental illness [depends on] how it is expressed, not the behavior itself.” The new guidelines drew a clear difference, in other words, between people expressing a healthy range of human sexuality (for example, a couple that likes to experiment, consensually, with whips, chains, and dungeons) and sadists who wish others genuine harm (for example, tying and whipping someone in a basement without their consent).

The DSM-5 was released in May 2013, its contents marking a victory for the NCSF, Bannon, and Baldwin. The final language states: “A paraphilia is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder, and a paraphilia by itself does not necessarily justify or require clinical intervention.”

“Now we are seeing a sharp drop in people having their children removed from their custody,” Wright explains. Since the change, according to the NCSF, less than 10 percent of people who sought the organization’s help in custody cases have had their children removed, and the number of discrimination cases has dropped from more than 600 in 2002 to 500 in 2010 to around 200 over the last year.

“The APA basically came out and said, ‘These people are mentally healthy,’” Wright says. “‘It’s had a direct impact on society.”

A few months ago I was asked to explain the “mind fuck.” This is what I said…
________________________

So mind fucks…. The examples below are NOT without negotiations.

Now this can be as simple as calling people on their shit or when appropriate using the truth against someone.

An example would be applying this concept to discipline: I might ask a sub to complete a task or cease unwanted behavior. In negotiations I will ask for them to create their consequences or ask what if questions to find what will really get to them.

Any infraction procures a reminder of these consequences, “What was it you said I could do to you if you fucked up?” And here’s the Kicker: I might make them *beg* for the privilege of my giving them this consequence. “Please Mommy, spank me, I’ve been a bad boy” (or whatever they are into)

Sometimes it’s part of the negotiations:

I already knew one of my play partners had an extreme distaste for a-symmetrical rope. During this play session’s negotiations, she approved the mind fuck. So after I had already tied down wrists and ankles to a chair, I grabbed my 10 foot rope (I use to practice knots) and tied down one thigh, saying I wanted her legs spread open more. “Oh, but look there’s not enough rope for the other thigh. I guess you’ll have to be lopsided…. 0h well, sux to be you.”

Sometimes it’s about knowing the boundaries and how to push them:

I was re-organizing my toy bag at my girl friend’s house and she picks up the huge purple dildo off the bed and says, “This one scares me!” So I make her carry it around the house for the rest of the day, “to make friends with it.” That night I made her beg me to fuck her with it.

Sometimes things just happen on the fly:

Newbie sub I brought to his 2nd or 3rd play party ever (never even been naked in public before)…. accidently dropped a cane into the pool. Looking @ me with those, “Oh shit,” puppy dog eyes, he asked me, “I guess I have to go get that? But I didn’t bring a swim suit?” Typical Thizbee answer again: “I guess it sux to be you.”
I have to say watching him undress in front of 20 strangers = Priceless!

So then he wasn’t allowed to redress after (except for you know, rope).

Anyways…. you get the idea…
_______________________

I think it helps that I’m a smart ass. And that my bullshit detector is cranked up to eleven.

Other tactics in my mind fuck arsenal? I’ve perfected the whispery demon voice in your ear and I negotiate like a mother-fucker! I’ve also figured out how to balance having kind words in my mouth and meanness in my hands…. But the real trick to the mind fuck is being a good listener.

I wish to say thank you to Miss Cassie and Genesis for being amazing hosts on their shows on TSRnetwork.com.

Thank you to all the chat viewers that come in the chat and join the conversation on the live shows. You make our job easier as Host as we get to ask the questions of our guests that you wish to hear.

To all the Guests of each show Thank You for taking the time to come to the studio or to web cam with us each week. You all have been amazing guest though-out 2014.

All the people that could not tune into the Live shows because of your busy life’s but went into the archives and watch the recorded shows. Thank you for taking the time to go onto TSRnetwork.com and watch the shows that you missed.Because of you, you has increased our viewing numbers over 800,000 views when added together all the different places that we broadcast on.

Viewing the analytic s of the shows from February 2014 to now we have had over 300 thousand people tune into and watch the live and recorded shows on Youtube and TSRnetwork.com. On Google the numbers are 580,233 views from the two profiles that we broadcast the shows on.

My hats goes out to Miss Cassie for her show Naughty or Nice with Miss Cassie Special Guest: Sybian Master that has had over 21,000 views. The show streamed live on Aug 19, 2014 and has had so many views in such a short time.

2015 we hope to move past over a million or more people viewing the live shows or the recorded shows. We hope to add more shows to the network and touch more people both BDSM member’s and the vanilla world. Here is a letter from a viewer.

Dear Rev Mel,

I was told by a friend about your show and have always wanted to be spanked. My husband could not understand why I need this and would make fun of me. After finding your show and TSRnetwork I got my husband to watch the shows on Youtube. It has changed my life and his. He is a natural Dom and I’m now collared by my husband.

We could never come out to our friends and family about what we do but it is wonderful having a place where we can go and learn about BDSM and not feel like such a freak. I, now feel normal and found a safe place where I can share with husband all of my desires.

Thank you,

Kathy ——-

I get these letters all the time and this is what make doing all of this so amazing as we at TSRnetwork reach out into the vanilla world and change them one day at a time.

We have lost so many friends of TSRnetwork and when we launched the show back in February we dearly missed our friend Robert who passed away while the shows are down the year before. Robert you are missed and each show I think of you and wish you were here to share this with us.

This year we lost River Butch not only a fan of TSRnetwork but a friend as she supported us during hard times and laugh with us at some of those special mommets on the life show. I will miss her loving emails and phone calls, you were always a hero to me. River Butch and Robert you both are in our hearts and thoughts and will never be forgotten we love you.

In 2015 we will continue to broadcast free live BDSM TV and make this a place where education and safety comes first and change the world on how they view our BDSM Live Choice and community.

Like I say “There is not a street in United States that someone is not being tied to a bed, blindfolded and spank we are not that much different then our vanilla friends and family.

To our community I salute you and have a wonderful New Year’s and may 2015 be an amazing year for all.

Description:
Primal Play is about touching the erotic and sensual part of who we are. It is flesh on flesh it’s the wild within all of us. The uncivilized part of who we are where nothing exist but the fire of erotic energy. Primal is our foundation of our basic instincts and our animal nature as we embrace our animal nature. Touching, smelling and being creative with our hands, mouth and body it is core of our sexually.

A headspace and mindset and attitude of leaving the body and becoming a nonhuman shift into an animalistic being. It is love making and play at the primal level of our true self.

Primal Play is the release from being a modern human and to be in privative state of mind where we let loose the taboos that are pushed open us. It’s without restraints as a human without shame and to embrace our desirers and back to the basic instincts of our soul. It is expressing passion and sensual energy without restraints in our mind and body and most of all without fear.

This is place where our body and mind fine tunes the most primitive self as we touch that place of letting go and just being in the moment. It is hot and sensual will touch your inner nature of your true self and you learn to a new way to that hidden part of you.

Primal is the raw, animalistic, wild, sexual and uncivilized part of who we are conditioned to be in our daily life. We are taught to ignore, pretend and hide this feeling inside of us and not to share this wild side to the outside world. This exists within all of us and the animal within us is calling us out. Come change the dogma and find your true self as shed the taboo of what others have put on us.

Primal is a consciousness or space as an individual is connected to their animalistic, primal urges and thinking out of the box. It is sexual, wild and hot state of mind and a place where the dance begins.

Open enrollment is now in effect, and just like college, all the best classes fill up fast, so don’t get left out in the halls, reserve your space today!