Newborn matriculation military training to accept the headmaster's inspection.

"The classmates good!"

"The headmaster good!"

"The classmates laborious!"

"Serve the people!"

"The classmates suntan!"

Freshmen are immediately words, do not know how to answer. After a moment's silence, a boy loudly answer: "the headmaster more black!"

5, grammar conversion

Teacher: "please send 'horse ran' this sentence convert questions."

Small Ivan: "horse will run?"

Teacher: "that's right! Very good! Now convert it imperative."

Small Ivan: "drive!"

6, eight-line

Roommate eyes myopia, often accounts for the first row seat, and suffer from high number teacher spoke mouth foam splash and difficult to resist. A * * said to me: high number teacher bow lectures, first row table all wet, High number teacher looked lectures, second table are all wet. I there and then faint.

7, * * *

Teacher in charge teacher zhang angrily into the classroom, harsh voice to say: "you call my language zhang, I endure; the new political old normal teacher, why do you call her * * * (fan)?"

8, dormitory nickname

Dear recoba carrying a come to find his high school students visited university dormitory, he pointed at the road to the left of the dormitory buildings, said: "this is a girl called vega galaxies, the dorm." Pointing to the dormitory buildings on the right road said: "it was a boy called cowherd dorm, galaxies." And swear to feet road said: "this road called YinHeLu."

At this time, the female student dormitory competent faculty blankly after, dear recoba silently say: "this is the heavenly queen."

9, wall clock

The college has classrooms, inside wall clock has a problem, just be things knocked will walked slower fast, knock again just five minutes fast. One day in class, professor found the classmates all while he write on the blackboard with rubber throw wall clock, but the professor does not doggo, still press clock adding and dropping classes. Before long, the final exam arrived, everyone all immersed exam, see professor took an eraser there practise throw clock.

Cream Nebuchadnezzar: but I'm afraid I bow answer a map drawn will change the world

11 and thirst for knowledge

The teacher asked, "children, you want to know how the first person appear?"

Small Ivan from the rear stood up and replied: "ladies, actually we are more interested in the world is the third person how come."

12, personal insurance

Teach economics teacher is about insurant and the beneficiary relational question, in order to more image little, him an example: "for example I made my personal insurance, one day I had the misfortune to had been hit by a car, you can get damages wishing every happiness will always. She is the beneficiary, then who am I?" A student to answer a way: "dead."

13 and difficult to defeat

A professor for an intelligence precocious little boy said: "what day is your birthday?"

Answer: "April 8"

Professor say: "which year."

Answer: "every year."

14, insurance measures

Chemical experiment just hair down, the classmates to contend for see teacher reviews. Only listen to a picked up b read up: when * * * drops to skin, should first cloth is wiped, again with plenty of water flushing, reoccupy cloth is wiped, spray some perfume, then coated with corn oil HuFuGao. The teacher designator way: "should still sauna and massage?"

15 and make notes

In order to test the English four levels, everyone hurriedly try very hard to learn English, some notes all have to do in other courses. One day, the history teacher detection set descend whole life extremely busy during, surprised in the heart, hence walked down the platform, silently to his side view. The student is busy for a while, feel atmosphere wrong, fierce rise, see a teacher be smile happily ground say to him: "do you think your English take notes ratio to remember with the Chinese language fast?"

16 and expanded

The test is finished, three students in a charged up bitter.

A say: "my language lesson do well on the test, the teacher said I was trash."

B say: "I follow, PE teacher said I was defective."

C say: "I failed the politics, the teacher said I was dangerous."

17 and wonderful solution

Once the language class, the teacher explained the "panic", "reason", "relieved," "continue" four idiom. Happened, some student slumbered. Professor on striking table, the student suddenly sit up and take up a book will see, the teacher say: "this is terrified." Then, the teacher let him answer questions, and he stood up equivocate half a day. When the teacher said: "this is sea, please sit down!" This classmate long sighs and sat down. The teacher say again: "this is relieved." The teacher walks on stage, such as the classmate again get down to sleep. The teacher fierce turned around, as he said: "this is the same as ever."