feel like i am decaying into sociopath

feel like i am decaying into sociopath however might be using wrong words due to limited vocabulary sort of like feelings of profund nihilism almost like street harderned but bit more out touch with reality

system would be

-profound feelings of nihlism

-dman if you do damn if you don't so ... just DAMN IT.... i am just going to do it then

-comparable concpet to street hardened but almost more dehumanized and feral

-over excpetance that things tend to end in bad results, over expetence things do fial enough to make ingorant things far more expectable then it should be

-almost like saying an attuide that everybody goes to hell because even if there is a god he is likely just a jerk that even the siants and priests likely rotting in depths below because god is likely an A@#$#hole

*talking to stuffed animals A VERY LOT.... out of dire need for self balance from overly intense darkness and dsyfunia from the world and others around them