Monday, January 24, 2011

Time For Feeling

The ones where you are SO frustrated that you nearly cry whenever you try to talk.

The ones where your teacher misuses their stubborn power to make you late for your internship...the one that THEY are enforcing.

One of those days where you listen to hymns on your iPod to keep you from snapping innocent people in half when they merely attempt to interact with you.

One of those days when you simply chant, "We're all children of God. We're all children of God. We're all children of God..." to keep your ears from blowing steam.

Ok, ok. Ventilation terminated.

Crazy busy + BIG changes + BIG decisions - Sleep = Moody Me

So. What now?

As I see it, I have TWO decisions:

1) Continue to be moody, crabby, and miserable for matters beyond my control. Snap at people, take a nap to smother out my responsibilities and emotions, listen to sad music, and potentially spread my lame unhappiness to all those I come in contact with...

OR

2) Breathe in. Breath out. Give myself a pat on the back for doing my very best. Change that misery to happiness right this instant and share it with those who are rooting for my success. Listen to happy music, dip strawberries in chocolate, give people hugs, smile and keep working hard...

Because frankly, Life has this strange tendency to keep happening whether I'm ecstatic or completely peeved. So...I can either sit and stew and watch Life pass me by or I can GO AND DO and cherish the things that are going right. Those things that Heavenly Father has, in perfect love, placed in my path as His way of saying,

"I know you are doing your best. Here is something wonderful to make today easier for you, because I love you perfectly and desire your happiness."

It makes my heart hurt to think of the times that He's reached out and I've huffed right by in my childish crossness, completely oblivious to His tender mercies and love. My goodness! WHY? "I'm only human" has never seemed like a more inadequate excuse. And the only "I'm sorry" that will cut it, is the kind that requires my feet to move, my hands to serve, my heart to soften and my soul to sing praises of gratitude to all that He has done for me.

So. What now?

I check this day off as another lesson learned in a moment of weakness and frustration and I try a little harder to be a little better. Starting NOW.

Because today the sun shone on my face. And today Trax didn't break down on the way to my internship. And today my friend texted me a hilarious picture when I was about to burst into tears of frustration. And today Dad gave me his extra sandwich for lunch and offered to drive me to BestBuy to buy a new pedometer (thanks for the tip-off, Lindsey!).

3 comments:

lindsay i'm glad i read this today. because i had a day kind of like yours and i've been sitting here stewing and thinking rude things and being mad at myself and everyone. but now i feel a little better. so thanks. :)