Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Another Desmoid Tumor

This is my 3rd tumor, 3rd surgery and
the second time I have had a recurrences two years post-surgery, almost to the
date. This is the second time I have felt great and been told I have another
tumor.

All 3 of my tumors have felt different. The first one was a
visible lump with stabbing pains and would cause my leg to hurt after too much
activity. The second and third was an ongoing dull pain. With the second one I
did have stiffness after sitting or standing for long periods. This 3rd
one has been trickier. The pain is mostly always there and sometime gets worse
when it is cold. I did notice these last few weeks however, my sciatic nerve
has been bothering me in my lower back—which now makes since to be my tumor
growing and pushing more on my nerve.

I try very hard to be healthy and active. I have battling
these 20lbs since my thyroid slowed around 2 yrs ago. I walk miles with my dog,
I see a personal trainer and I go to Pilate's boot camp once a week. I have also
been dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for over 5+ years this plus the
depression that picks up more in the winter does not make for a lot of
motivation. But the good thing I got going for me is habit, once I get in a habit
or routine I stick with it.So that is
the trick for me but it really isn’t paying off. I drag myself from work to
work out, get home late, make dinner and go to sleep. Then I wake up and do it
all over again—sitting through 8-9hrs of work feeling like I have taking a
sleeping pill. Did I mention I’m still
in my 20’s? On a good note—Chronic Fatigue Syndrome doesn’t mean it’s every day—at
least not for me, so I get some good days
and even sometimes a good week and those are the times I try to make the best
of it!

This third tumor really has me thinking about my future and
that is the hardest part, you can’t see past your hand when something like this
happens. I have so many questions and no answers. All I can do is put one foot
in front of the other and soldier on. Hope this fog clears and I can at least
see the light at the end of the tunnel.