My blog starts from when I found out I was pregnant with my first child, and goes to infinity....and beyond. I look forward to updating you all on the happiness, struggles, confusion, scaredness (is that a word?) and overall wonder of me being in Mommyhood. This is truly the place I've always wanted to be.

PURE LOVE

Holding my baby girl

Saturday, March 8, 2014

My first love letter for my little man

3/8/14

My Dearest Cannon,

Consider this your first love letter J Less than two months
until you are born, and I cannot wait to hold you and know the love of a little
baby boy. I find myself struggling a little bit to write this to you, because I’ve
never really thought about HOW to be a “boy mom” before… but I know it will
come just as natural as it did to be a “girl mom” with your big sister Kyli.

Let me just say that you have been quite the active little
fella in my tummy. I love feeling you kick and roll all around, and I adore
when you get the hiccups. You woke me up at around 3am the other morning with
the sweet little hiccup bumps, and I couldn’t think of a sweeter way to have my
sleep interrupted. Of course, that is, until you are actually in my arms and I get
to rock you and feed you and snuggle you and love you in the present.

I am often reminded that as a mom of a little boy, I have a
big responsibility. You see, it’s a little bit easier for a mom to raise a little
girl, because a little girl is just a smaller version of me. She will be girly,
but sporty at the same time… She will find a man like her daddy, and she will
love him and treat him like I treat your father. She will take care of herself
and care about her appearance. But most
of all, she will be a Godly woman who puts God, her husband, and her kids first…
and in that order.

But you know… I just realized something. As the mom of a
boy, I am actually teaching you the exact same things, except these are things
that I hope you look for in your future wife. I hope that she will be girly,
but not be too afraid to get dirty or use a power tool to help you around the
house. I hope that she loves you so unconditionally like I love your father…
(and if she doesn’t, then momma don’t play that and I’ll have to shoo her away… just sayin’). I hope that she keeps up with her
appearance, and I hope that she finds the time in the day to look nice for you so
that that “spark” is always there. (And you need to look nice for her as well). But most of all, I hope that you find a
Godly woman that puts God, you, and your kids first… and also in that order.

But my dear Cannon… one of my biggest responsibilities I will
have as a “boy mom” will be teaching you how to respect women… all women. This includes
me, your sisters, your grandmother’s, cousins, teachers, girlfriends, etc. You
will also need to be taught how to respect all men, and learn from which ones
are good examples to follow, and those that are not so good. It is not lost
upon me that I will soon be raising a man of my own. Men have a big job in this
world. Don’t get me wrong, women do too, and don’t you forget that. But men are
supposed to be just the right mixture of strong and sensitive, wise and
inquisitive, proud and humble, and brave and timid. But you are lucky sweet
Cannon… You have an amazing father that is just the right amount of all of
these things. He will be my biggest help in guiding you and training you in the
way that is right. Just like he has with your sisters and brother, he will
ALWAYS be there for you, as will I. You are extremely lucky to have a man like
him to look up to, and I can’t wait to see all the things he will teach you.

And then one day… a day that I am dreading even now… We’ll have
to set you free into this world and trust that we have done exactly what we are
supposed to do. I know that we will create a man that is every bit as amazing
as your father, if not more. You always want your kids to be better than you,
and you will learn that one day when you become a daddy.

Baby boy, you are so special to me already. I love you more
than any other person in this world could love you. I can’t wait for the day to
kiss your sweet little lips and cheeks and to caress your hair (whatever color
it may be J
). I know that you are going to change my entire world, and I know it’s only
going to be for the better. I am so in love with you already, and I know that
it will only grow deeper with every minute that passes.

I feel you rolling around in my tummy right now as I write
this, and yep… you just kicked super hard like I’m used to you doing. You’re
something special already, I just know it.