Friday, May 3, 2013

I Was An Undead Wu-Tang Sex Druid

Last Friday night I had the opportunity to dress as a mystical Druid
priestess with four crazy fun ladies (Kelsie, Carley, Nicole, Elisa) to
raise Ghostface Killah from the dead during his show. Afterward when a kid covered head to toe in Wu Wear asked two of us afterward how we got the job we just said 'I don't know - magic'. We weren't lying.

Every town they are in they find 5 women to wear red robes, hold candles and paint their faces like the undead and surround GFK in a velvet throne where he raps from a velvet book. The robes were slippery and the female vocalist from his band helped us suit up in the green room before the show.

I know you are wondering, what goes on backstage at a GFK show?

A lot and a lot of nothing. Here is a portrait of what happened told through what I learned:

It's important to maintain a healthy
curiosity about the natural world. I watched Killah Priest contemplate
the banana he was eating and then ponder aloud where the banana stores
its seeds.

KNOW YOUR LIMITS. If you succeed in sneaking backstage
to take pictures don't push it. Choose between drinking all of
Ghostface's Courvoisier OR finger blasting your girlfriend when you
think no one is looking. Don't do both or you will get yelled at, thrown
out and banned. And a room of people will watch you disentangle.

It
is important to be balanced. You can travel with a chocolatier but you
also need a tour manager who makes sure there's a big kale salad waiting
for you after your show because even famous rappers need their
vitamins.

And sometimes, when the stairs are rickety and treacherous, you might need to reach out for a helping hand to get you down.

When our part was done I stood in the wings watching C*R*E*A*M enjoying
the Wu Tang Clan as the goddess intended. Covered in fake blood and
surrounded by real smoke.