Friday, October 25, 2013

Familiarity makes us comfortable.Many find strength in it.It is like a warm blanket, soft couch,
comfort food, and a good movie.It’s a
loving spouse you feel perfectly at ease with.Fitness Ridge is like that for me.It’s like coming home at Christmas after being away at college all
semester and finding the house decorated and family there to meet you.I have cried there, vomited there, felt
overwhelming joy there, rejoiced with others there, and laughed there, a lot! Next
week, I will be heading back to Biggest Loser’s Fitness Ridge to spend a week
in Ivins, UT.

In May 2011, I got on
a plane bound for Vegas with a suitcase full of clothes ready to spend a whole
month. I was scared to death.I had lost 25 lbs before my trip, dropped
three clothes sizes, and was ready for anything they could throw at me.I dropped 15 more lbs in that month, and an
additional 10 when I got home.Nothing
could have been harder and easier at the same time.Harder, because I was reining in the only
thing that was out of control in my life at that time, my weight.Easier, because I did it with some of the
most amazing, encouraging people I have ever met who were all doing the same
thing I was.We sweated, laughed,
talked, and overcame together.When I
got home is when it became hard.Of
course I knew it would, but I wasn’t ready for what happened.I didn’t have a problem with eating
right.When I woke up each morning I
would immediately panic, thinking I had gained all the weight back.I would jump out of bed and run upstairs
weighing myself.Still the same, but
there must be some mistake!I would try
on several outfits.They still fit, but
it couldn’t be true.Surely while I was
sleeping all the weight must have slipped back on.Finally I confessed to my husband what was
going on and he told me to call Jen our Fitness Ridge shrinkJShe assured me that it was perfectly normal
to feel this way as it would take my brain longer to catch up with my
body.I think this might have something
to do with why people who lose so much weight immediately put it back on.Their mind tells them they have gained it
back, so they just give in to it.I
refused to give in.

In April 2012, I went back.I had become that forty something mom that ran 5ks and mud runs.I had trouble with my left hip, but wanted to
see if I could push myself like the year before.I could and I did.I had kept most of the weight off, so the six
lbs I lost while there that week, put me back in the black.

Now it’s October 2013.A whole seventeen months later.When I started this blog in 2011, I would have never imagined I would
have so many followers.I have had
around 11,000 hits on here.I’m glad so
many people are interested in what I’ve been up to, but for me, this blog is so
much more than showing people my journey.It has become my memory.There
are so many things you forget if you don’t write it all down.Good things, funny things, and most
importantly how I felt.The emotional
part of this roller coaster is key to finding yourself.With that being said, I think I can truly say
I have found myself again.I had lost
myself through pregnancies, childbirth, and uncertainty.Here, I have found myself and although the
person I found is quite different than the one I lost, I love her.I imagine we all find ourselves wishing we
could be or do something else in life, but right now, in this time of my life I
am perfectly happy.I traded a high
stress job for being a goat farmer, owning my own business, and continuing to
home school my two kids.My husband
works from home.That’s the bomb.He doesn’t always like his job, but he always
gets to spend time with us.He too gave
up a high stress job.Since the last
time I was at Fitness Ridge, I have hosted 50 interns on my little micro
farm.That has been amazing.We have had some beautiful people come
through and help us with our continuing project.How has my weight been?Well, I have actually been able to keep most
of the 55 lbs off.It makes me sad to
look at my less toned body in the mirror, but I realize I have at least not
stopped trying.My husband pointed this
out when we were in Wal Mart a couple weeks ago.So many people shopping there just looked like
they had completely given up. Convenience food filled buggies, dead look in
their eyes, and so heavy all they could wear was a stretched out t shirt and
jogging pants.I have not been able to work out with my hip
problems, but I have really watched that I maintain.Yesterday, I got up and started packing for
my third trip out here.I tried on the t
shirt I wore home from Fitness Ridge on June 19th, 2011, my 43rd
birthday.I expected that it would be
too tight in the arms and waist, but guess what???It fit.And so did the pants I wore to hike in.Now that I have spent the last two years maintaining, I am ready to take
off the last pounds.Join my adventures
this week as I and my partner in crime and roomie, Phyllis take on Fitness
Ridge.