Welcome back to Dancing With the Stars! It’s season 16, and whether you’re watching because of the cast or in spite of it – No more Maks! Low star power! Who or what is a “Zendaya”? – Planet Mirrorballus is still the finest Fabergé egg/escapism destination in the great Glitter Galaxy, and I’m still on board to recount the highs (sparkly tears of joy) and lows (pit stains) of all the fabricated drama. It’s not supposed to be about the cast anyway – it’s about the dancing! Ha, well, we’ll see how that works out.

Discuss tonight’s premiere in the comments below. I will try to include a few of your hidden gem nominations in my full episode recap, but EW’s first official hidden gems collection won’t be ‘til next Tuesday, just ahead of the first results show of the season. Isn’t it funny the way I so callously throw around the term “official”?