Category Archives: Law of Attraction

The Law of Deservedness states, “you only get what you subconsciously feel you deserve and nothing more.” Therefore if you have a totally good feeling about yourself and your actions, you should be able to get an corresponding accumulation of money, friends, jobs and whatever else you want. Deservedness is a con. It’s an artificial construct designed to control and suppress you.

The biggest problem with The so-called Law of Deservedness is that it states you only get what you SUBCONSCIOUSLY feel you deserve and nothing more. If this feeling of deservedness is below your awareness, it’s got to be below the level of awareness of everybody else, too. Nobody can really know what’s in your subconscious so how can anybody state with 100 percent certainty that according to some universal law you are only getting what you feel you deserve at a subconscious level?

They can’t. I’m calling their bluff. No matter how good of a therapist or psychic they are, no matter how many clients they’ve treated, they can only think they know what’s in somebody else’s subconscious. Anything they say they “know” is simply them projecting or guessing.

If you are trying to raise your sense of deservedness to increase your bank account, you are falling for the ego trap of measuring yourself by some arbitrary standard. You are falling for the trap of measuring yourself at all. From a non-ego standpoint, you are infinite so there’s nothing to measure. Deservedness is also a judgment and judgment is ego garbage. Therefore any feelings of deserving or not deserving are also ego garbage. One sure way to not achieve oneness with anything is to be in judgment about it. If you are trying to be one with money, you can’t be in judgment of your bank account or yourself.

Deservedness seems like a valid concept until you see it doesn’t play out in the real world at all. Seemingly undeserving and seemingly deserving people get all sorts of riches, heartaches, friendships, jobs, hardships and glories. It’s life. Plenty of rich and poor people look at their lives and ask themselves, “How did this happen to me? I didn’t deserve this.” You can believe the undeserving lottery winner or murder victim got what they subconsciously deserved but there’s no way to know for sure.

When reincarnation enters the equation, all sorts of new and untestable computations arise. When bad events happens, you may think it’s karma from some misdeed you may have committed in ancient Rome therefore you deserved it. When good events happens, it’s also karma. If reincarnation exists then we’ve all been around long enough to have behaved heroically as well as heinously. We’ve healed the sick in one life and killed for sport in another. Just thinking about what you may or may not deserve based on past life actions allows your ego to trap you into thinking anything you experience is a result of something you can’t know about. This way of thinking leads to a victim mentality which is the antithesis of Law of Attraction/create your own reality thinking.

The idea of deservedness allows and even encourages people to get enmeshed in bad situations too long. Crap happens in your life and you say to yourself, ” Well, the world is a reflection of me so I must deserve this. I must be a bad person.” Not true.

If you are associating with toxic coworkers, you can think they are just reflections of you so you don’t feel empowered or encouraged to look for a new job. You think why bother to change your surroundings when it’s just going to follow you everywhere you go? Again, not true.

If you are in a bad relationship and you see your partner as a mirror of yourself, you might stay in that relationship longer than you should because you consciously think you deserve it. You think your lover is just mirroring back your own qualities so you stick around for what amounts to more abuse. Don’t do it. It’s not healthy. You are looking at a funhouse mirror.

When you do good things and feel good love especially towards yourself, your vibration rises so good things will happen to you but not because you deserve it. When you mix red and yellow paint, you get orange paint but you don’t deserve to get orange. Your actions and feelings are the paints of your life. When you paint the canvas of life with love, you get a great picture.

The universe doesn’t give you what you deserve. As I state in my book, Manifesting From The Heart: Using Heart Energy to Achieve Reality Transformation , the universe mirrors back what you believe love is. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, you are allowed to change it. You can change partners, jobs, houses, whatever you want. Don’t sit by passively and think, “This must be what I deserve because this is evidently how I really am inside.” You are the creator. If you love yourself, you leave abusive or unpleasant relationships. You don’t deserve them. You created them and if you don’t like what you have created, you can and should create something different and better. You are the god of your own universe. Act like it.

The whole concept of deservedness dates back to the 1600’s. In England, rich white men were considering helping out the poor but were trying to figure out who they should give their money to. Should they give it to a struggling mother whose husband died? Should they give it to an unemployed man? Should they give it to someone they considered lazy? To answer questions like those, they came up with the concept of deservedness. They decided that some people deserved help while others deserved to starve. Deservedness is a totally manmade concept and a rather arbitrary one at that.

If you ever start to feel undeserving realize it’s just your ego trying to rein you in and mess with you. Next time you feel undeserving, tap on it.

Even though I feel I don’t deserve XYZ, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Here’s the kicker. If you feel like you do deserve something, tap on it as well. It’s still ego garbage.

Even though I feel I deserve XYZ, I deeply and completley love and accept myself.

Keep tapping until you can step away from any feelings of deserving or not deserving. Screw the concept of deservedness altogether before it screws you.

Every December when people all over are celebrating their assorted holidays, a great number of people feel anything but festive. The so-called Holiday Blues is a temporary state of mild depression that comes before Christmas and generally abates right after New Years. Just because the feelings are short lived doesn’t mean they aren’t miserable.

The holidays are expected to be fun, joyful and full of love and presents. That is rarely the case yet the expectations remain. These unfulfilled expectations cause pain. The end of the year reminds you of all the things you didn’t accomplish. If you are alone for the holidays, the feeling is even worse because this is supposed to be a time for togetherness.
Since you can’t avoid December, dealing proactively with the holiday blues is the best way to get through the month. Doing a few simple steps will help you get through this time a little more smoothly.

Acknowledge your feelings. Admit to yourself that you feel bad for all the reasons you are mulling over in your head. Don’t fight the feelings. They aren’t wrong or right. They just are. Don’t try to rationalize them away. Just accept them without shame, excuses or justifications. Sometimes just allowing yourself to feel the emotions takes the power away from them.

Realize you could be falling for the holiday hype. We all feel pressure to be joyous and merry this time of year but people rarely feel it to the degree we’ve been led forced to expect. We see so many movies and TV shows with happy, healthy kids opening their Christmas presents while their loving parents look on smiling. You can practically smell the ham baking in the oven. As is so often the case, Hollywood and Madison Avenue is lying to you. Life isn’t really like that. If you expect it to be that way, you are setting yourself up for never ending disappointments that extend way beyond December.

If you are away from or don’t have family or friends to hang out with, the pain of loneliness can feel even worse on Christmas because we are all expected to be with our families. You may start to feel bad about choices you’ve made that led to being alone on this day. You might feel like you are missing out on something. It’s times like this where the part of the EFT setup phrase that goes, “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” really shines. This is a time to really feel yourself loving and accepting yourself.

On a more mundane but very practical level, get some exercise. A twenty minute walk a few times a week will get your blood moving and lift your spirits.

Take time to feel gratitude for all the things you do have. Instead of ruminating over what you don’t have, think about the good things in your life.

Finally, learn The Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s a gentle, fast method for relieving unwanted emotions. Read about it in my ebook, Transform Your Life With EFT from Amazon.

It is also available in other formats for other ereaders from Smashwords.

The Eyebrow point is located under the inside corner of your eyebrow right on the eye socket. Run your finger along the bone until you feel a little notch. That notch is the spot.

The side of the eye point is just along the outside corner of the eye socket. That little depression in the bone is where you tap.

The under the eye point is at the edge the bone under the center of the eye.

The Under nose point is the little depression between the nose and upper lip.

The Chin point is slightly above the middle of your chin.

The Collarbone point is actually under your collarbone. Run your finger under the collarbone until you reach a tender spot right where the sternum (breastbone) starts. That tender spot is the tapping point. Most people use their whole hand and lightly slap the general area to make the tapping routine go faster.

The Under Arm point is usually said to be located along the tendon that forms the front border of your armpit. On men the point is even with the nipple. On women, it is in the center of the bra strap. Tap with your whole hand to make it easy. I believe the correct point is actually two inches lower than that but if you tap with your whole hand, you will hit both points.

Another tapping point is about 4 inches under the nipple. It’s called the BN, beneath nipple point. It may be awkward for women to tap on it in public so that point is often not taught.

Is close enough really good enough? When it comes to tapping, you want to be as accurate as possible. I was reading an article by an Emotional Freedom Technique practitioner who voiced a concern about some EFT teachers who he feels take too much time teaching the exact location of all the tapping points. His contention was that the exact points aren’t all that crucial. The important thing, according to him, was clearly identifying the troubling emotion. For him, the actual physical tapping was just icing on the cake.

From my experience, I think he’s got it very wrong. Learning the exact points is every bit as important as learning the other steps. If any step can be fudged, it’s the second step, finding the SUDS rating, but that’s a topic for another article. What’s more, learning the exact spot to tap takes as much time as learning the general areas. It’s really a non-issue from a time standpoint.

I have my family and friends to thank for teaching my how important finding the exact point is. When I give them phone sessions, I explain the location of the tapping points in very explicit detail. I make sure they know exactly where the points are. If they don’t get good results, I will talk to them about it the next time I see them in person. What I find invariably is the ones getting the poorer results have been tapping on the wrong spots. When I show them the correct points and run them through the process a few times, they finally get the results they’ve been wanting.

The general consensus among EFT practitioners is that if you get within a half inch of the prescribed tapping points, you’re fine. I haven’t found that to be quite the case. Getting within a half inch will yield positive results. Getting within a quarter inch is better still. I have found the best results come when you are tapping on the exact points.

Using two fingers or the whole hand in the case of the collarbone and under arm points, helps insure that you do hit those exact points because you are covering more area. If you are at all energy sensitive, you can feel the difference between hitting the right spot and just getting close. When you get the exact point, it’s like hitting the sweet spot on your tennis racquet. It just feels so right.

When I teach EFT, I have my clients or students go through a number of dummy rounds on imaginary issues just to get them to the point where they can do EFT without looking at a tapping chart.

Being able to find the exact points quickly and getting them memorized is important if you want to get the most out of the Emotional Freedom Technique.

Every once in awhile, you can have a tapping session that blows you away. You may even think you feel the presence of your guides, or the Universe or God. If it isn’t God, at the very least, it’s something much larger than yourself. These experiences are very blissful.

You can’t control when this will happen. These occurrences happen with no warning. I wish I could make them happen more predictably and more often. I also haven’t found the one setup phrase that works on everyone. What makes one person feel the presence of God does nothing to someone else.

Another problem is that these feelings eventually fade. Eventually you will come back to Earth.

Bliss is attainable with EFT.

This leads to another problem; like a good drug high, you can become addicted to spiritual highs. They feel so good and life seems so right and perfect when you in them. And when you come down, you want another. This is how cults and religions get and keep new members.

You may know some people who attend every workshop their budget and time allows. They are often referred to as “energy junkies” or “workshop addicts.” They’ve experienced that rare and natural state of bliss and want it again. It’s like their souls have been starved all their lives and they suddenly have a spiritual Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. They don’t want to leave the table even when the dinner is over.

Of course, the obvious way to treat that is to tap on it. You can tap on the feelings of longing if that’s what you are experiencing but I’ve found that many people can avoid feeling that way if they just tap regularly. If you can’t tap every day, tap at least a few times a week. It doesn’t have to be about anything specific either. Tapping on your run of the mill issues is good enough. While not bliss inducing, having just tapped is a pleasant enough state for most people to not crave the spiritual highs.

And if you can’t tap every day, tap on that. A round of tapping takes less than a minute once you have the method memorized. You can do a couple rounds before getting out of bed. You can even do it while on the toilet. You can tap at a traffic light on the way to work. The people in the cars next to you might look at you funny but what do you care? You’re not likely to see them again. And if it bothers you, tap on it.

My latest book, Manifesting From The Heart: Using Heart Energy to Achieve Reality Transformation is the result of some sessions that led me to experience what could only be described as a transcendental experience. It is based on questions I had about why the Law of Attraction didn’t seem to work for me. If you have wondered why trying to use the Law of Attraction hasn’t produced the results you wanted, this book could have the answers you are looking for.

In a recent session, the client was bitching about a guy she was dating who wasn’t treating her with the consideration, respect and courtesy she thought she should be getting. Her studies of the Law of Attraction and affirmations about self-worth had her believing that she deserved better. He was wealthy and influential and was a total jerk. She also believed that he didn’t deserve all his good fortune.

This led to a lot of tapping about getting what one deserved. She felt she deserved more and better in life. She wasn’t asking for the moon. She just wanted the affection and honesty in her relationship she felt she deserved. She really FELT she deserved it so we tapped on the feeling of deserving.

Feelings of deservedness aren’t necessarily a bad or painful feeling so it wouldn’t have occurred to her to tap on it if I hadn’t asked her to. She started tapping on Even though I feel I deserve more, I deeply and completely accept myself. The set up phrase morphed a lot over the next 15 minutes to include how she felt about the guy who got what she felt he didn’t deserve.

When the session was over, she realized feelings of deservedness have nothing to do with the Law of Attraction. Feelings of deservedness aren’t based on any objective standard. Rating such a feeling is totally capricious in nature. Who’s to say how much you have to feel like you deserve something to get it? Who’s to say feeling like you deserve something will even lead to getting it?

She further realized feeling like she deserved something put distance between her and the object of her desire. If she felt like she deserved something, she hadn’t really internalized the feeling of actually having the object of her desire. Saying she deserved something was like saying she wanted something and any student of LOA knows you never affirm that you want something.

She left the session feeling lighter having lifted the burden of this unworkable belief off her shoulders. As for her budding relationship, she dumped the guy. She knew she didn’t deserve the aggravation.