Bipolar Adolescent: Facts and Help

Bipolar disorder in adolescents has not been as well researched, nor received
as much attention as has bipolar disorder in children. This may be because
people tend to either group teens with children or with adults. Unfortunately, this is not helpful as each developmental stage presents different manifestations of the illness. This page will first discuss issues that teens specifically face when dealing with bipolar disorder and then will some tips that may be helpful to parents of teenagers who struggle with bipolar disorder (and other mood disorders generally). It also links to pages on children and adults with bipolar disorder.

The Bipolar Teen

Bipolar Adolescents Need Extra Help from Mom and Dad

Treatment
for the bipolar teenagers must balance the need for the child to have
individuality and confidentiality with the need to involve the family. Well intentioned families of teens typically think teens require their own
space and time with a therapist. Bipolar teens, however, oftentimes need the support, involvement and understanding of the entire family. Treating a bipolar adolescent without
family involvement is usually unsuccessful. In therapy, bipolar
teenagers frequently tell me their parents don’t understand how much help they
need. Many of them feel their parents and others expect them to be an
adult and that they are not ready to handle any of these responsibilities. They feel they need more help from their parents then the normal teen,
and they often want them to participate in therapy.

Bipolar Adolescents Need Help Managing Stress

Bipolar teenagers, even when stable, have a very hard time managing
stress. They are vulnerable to stressful situations, but also struggle with
self awareness about the impacts of stress upon their well being. They need assistance recognizing the physical
signs of stress in their bodies, coping with that stress, and reaching
out to others to communicate that stress. Therapy can focus on
assisting them in acquiring these skills.

Bipolar Adolescents Need Assistance with Goal Setting

Bipolar
teenagers often “bite off more than they can chew". They seem to have
no concept of what they can handle and what they can't. In response
to realizing they are overwhelmed by a task, they often shut down
completely. Part of this may be because when they are experiencing
mania they think they can handle more than they actually can. Therapy
teaches kids to take small steps towards their goals, thus allowing them
to experience success.

Bipolar Adolescents Want Social Acceptance, but don’t know how to Choose Good Friends

The
bipolar adolescent struggles with acceptance of peers and with
understanding the opposite sex. Their judgment is often impaired. They
may choose friends who are not healthy for them or put themselves in
situations with peers where they are treated badly. Adolescent bipolar disorder treatment
must focus on these issues. These teems need help realizing their value as a
person (self esteem), setting boundaries for themselves, and setting
standards for how they will allow themselves to be treated.

Bipolar Teens Lack Understanding about their Illness

Despite repeated education about signs of mania and depression,
bipolar teenagers often seem unaware of when they are experiencing
symptoms of mood states which may influence them. They need psycho
education to assist them in understanding the signs and symptoms of each
mood state, and how that may make them particularly vulnerable.

Bipolar
teenagers must learn the connection between sleeping, eating healthily,
and their mood stability. In therapy I will often suggest they log
their sleep so they can see directly how the lack of sleep impacts their
ability to handle stress. A sleep log is also helps them to see when
they are experiencing mania (little need for sleep high energy) or
depression.

Families of Bipolar Teenagers

Families of bipolar teenagers often expect too much from them. Adolescent bipolar disorder
disrupts emotional regulation, coping skills, and problem solving
skills. Don’t compare your bipolar adolescent to other adolescents.
Many of the bipolar teenagers I work with are incredibly artistic and
talented and feel emotions at a depth that most of us will never
understand.

These teens
may seem sophisticated because of these special traits. However, they still need a
tremendous amount of help with their day to day existence. They
require patience and support from their family amd they need
constant attention, care and monitoring.

Adolescence
carries with it many challenges that make it an especially difficult
developmental period. The bipolar adolescent has a compromised ability
to face all of these stresses and challenges.

Adolescence is a time when kids:

Assert their individuality

Separate from their parents

Look to their peers for more guidance than their family

Struggle for social acceptance

Often,
the bipolar adolescent is not ready for these challenges. Bipolar
disorder in teens may cause them to be dependent on their family for
basic daily functioning, and although they want to separate, that
dependence can make it difficult.

What can you do as a parent to better help your Bipolar Adolescent?

Get your own Therapy and Support

As
the parent of a bipolar adolescent you need to have an incredible
amount of patience. A bipolar teen needs parents who are skilled at:

Modeling good problem solving skills

Solving conflict

Utilizing assertiveness to express thoughts and feelings

Parents
need to learn these skills and therapy can help with that. Parents may
need to process their feelings of grief and anger over the illness
their child has. Frequently, parents have a diagnosis of depression or
anxiety as well, often from the stress of raising a bipolar teen.

Don't Parent your Child like a " Normal" Child

Insisting
on parenting a bipolar adolescent the way you would any other teenager
is ineffective and can be harmful for your child. Normal parenting
techniques just don't work with kids who are bipolar.

Give up on the Need to be in Control

Bipolar
disorder in teens causes an every day struggle for control. Bipolar
teens struggle with regulating sleep , appetite and moods. Work to give
them a sense of control by teaching, accepting and creating safety and
stability. Insisting a bipolar teenager does what you want when you
want it doesn’t work and will drive you crazy.

Don't Expect Your Child to be More Mature Than They Are

It
is important to understand that there are normal developmental stages
that children pass through as they grow up. Each stage is marked by the
acquisition of new skills (hopefully) and a greater maturity level. If
your child is bipolar it may be that their illness has disrupted this
process of normal development. If your child is 15, but has been
unstable in their illness for three years, they will not have the skills
of a normal 15 year old. It may take them three years to catch up. Be
reasonable about your expectations.

Ration out your Energy

Bipolar
disorder in teens is a serious illness. It is true that your child can
be fine and go on to live a productive and stable life- if they get the
right help and stay on the right path. Don't waste your time worrying
and arguing with your child about unimportant things.

All parents want their children to be productive adults who can have a job, friends, a
family and happiness - and the parents of bipolar teens are no different. And, all teenagers want to express themselves in ways that may be somewhat at odds with what their parents would desire. When it comes to the personal expression of a bipolar teenager, however, it generally best to give some leeway. If your
bipolar teenager gets a nose ring or a tattoo, it's not the end of the
world. If they attempt suicide, on the otherhand, it's much more serious. Parents need to be able to identify and weigh the relative seriousness of any situation.

Create Opportunities for you Child to Express Him or Herself

A
bipolar teen often has an incredible amount of feelings and thoughts
that they are struggling to make sense of. Create opportunities for
them to express themselves, especially if they are writers or artists.
Build on any strengths or interests they have, the more successes they
have the more likely they are to be functional adults.

Don't Hold Grudges

If
you and your bipolar teen get into an argument, do not give them the
silent treatment afterwards. They need help learning how to
problem-solve and resolve conflict. When things are calm, discuss what
happened and how you can move on from a serious incident

Take any Signs of Depression or Suicidal Comments Seriously

Bipolar
disorder in teens puts them at risk for suicide. This constantly needs
to be monitored. Parents must communicate with their child's therapist
and psychiatrist about any signs of depression or concerns they have
about their child.

Be Serious about Substance Abuse

Teen bipolar disorder is a serious risk factor for drug use. Many adults with bipolar disorder have substance abuse problems.

Teach your Child about their Feelings

During
healthy and normal development, kids learn emotional regulation. They
learn how to identify and tolerate painful emotions and they learn how
to cope with them. Bipolar teens are often overwhelmed by the intensity
of their emotions and are at a complete disadvantage when it comes to trying to handle them.
Parents must create a dialog with their child about what is happening
with his or her emotions. Depending on the severity, duration and age of
onset, a 15 year old may need to be treated like a three-year-old when it comes to understanding and managing their emotions. A
parent needs to teach them about what they are feeling because the reality of the situation is that they themselves
don't know. Parents often must read cues about how their child is
feeling until they can do it themselves. Bipolar teens may not have
the infrastructure necessary to regulate their emotions and so parents
must create it for them with a lot of patience and repetition.

Read more about bipolar disorder across all the different ages by clicking the links below.

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