The Gordon Smart Column: Dealing With Annoyingly Talented Famous Folk

All men at some point during adult life think, "I could have been a contender".

We wouldn’t flinch in a McLaren F1 car pulling 5g and hurtling towards a wall with a foot delicately pressing the brake. If we trained hard enough, of course we could slot into the starting line-up for any team in the Championship, or probably above. If we had paid attention in IT at school we would have come up with Facebook before Mark Zuckerberg sprouted his ginger pubes.

Well, I certainly think that.

One of the few downsides of my job, as Showbiz Editor of The Sun, is that all too often I get a stark reminder that I am below average at so many things. Things I thought would have been the making of me if the cards had fallen differently.

Allow me to explain.

Last week I spent a day at the incredible FA HQ at St George’s Park in Staffordshire. It is a remarkable set up with state-of-the-art training and rehab facilities for footballers and athletes. When I was there Monaco were training and their £50 million summer signing Falcao spent 15 minutes laughing at our sweaty efforts in a six-a-side match with Radio 1’s Grimmy and pop star Olly Murs. Falcao also spent time using the robust zoom on a camera to focus on Olly’s stunning blonde manager’s bum, but that’s another story.

Before we took to the pitch I had a bash at a contraption that measures your reaction times and peripheral vision. Lights flash on a wall which you have to press before another one illuminates — thus proving your reactions in the space of a minute.

First time round I knocked up 73 — which I was told was a reasonable debut.

Then, with a bit of sweaty swagger, I wandered over to examine the leaderboard. What a blunder.

It turns out Jenson Button, Sebastian Vettel and Didier Drogba can more than double that — with Jenson holding the world record of 164. Check it out on YouTube, it’s a sight to behold.

These boys are not just physically fit, but they are clever chaps, too. Jenson’s agent once told me about a Button vs Lewis Hamilton challenge where they had to strip an F1 car and put it back together. They both managed it without any help. And Jenson did it quickest by the way.

That’s the ultimate flat pack challenge that one, without any instructions from IKEA either or help from your dad.

Like I mentioned last week, I have to apologise for the name-dropping, but it is my job after all. I got involved with triathlon training back in 2010 and spent a bit of time with Jenson. It wasn’t a great experience for the confidence of a 30-year-old man (as I was at the time).

He had a 17 and a half inch neck, a 29in waist, stood at 6ft 1in tall and had size eight feet. He knocks out an Olympic triathlon — 1500m swim, 40km bike and 10km run — in just over two hours. After six months of training I managed 2hr 38mins. Depressing.

I’ve been lucky enough to spend time with Sir Paul McCartney, who could pick up a packet of crisps and write a number one hit about the experience. I watched James Corden in One Man, Two Guvnors — which he won a Tony Award for — wandering on stage minutes after beating me at FIFA. He can remember the lyrics to a song after hearing it once.

Then there was Street Striker with Wayne Rooney. I watched him chip 10 balls out of 10 into a barge two metres wide from the equivalent of the centre circle to the goal — over a canal in Manchester.

Rory McIlroy is another example. When he was launching EA Sports Tiger Woods 2014 we set up a crossbar challenge at The Grove in London. Within eight shots with a two iron he managed to hit a ball off a bit of metal five inches in diameter from a full 150metres. It was jaw-dropping to watch.

These boys are superhuman — and deserve every penny of their massive endorsement deals as far as I am concerned.

AppSun + App and Sun GoalsI know I work for them, but the new season will be brilliant with access to all the Barclays Premier League Goals before anyone else has a sniff. A full five hours before Match of the Day. Eat that Lineker!

Blu-RaySearching For SugarmanIt slipped a lot of radars, but made its mark at awards ceremonies. I watched it about six months ago, then re-watched it recently and enjoyed it second time round. If you like music and a good story, this is for you.

Golf courseOld Head, KinsaleI was lucky enough to visit paradise a couple of weeks back. It's my top three golf courses of all time. Absolutely incredible.