Road Trip Ready

As many of you know, we’ve been road-tripping lately. Through my travels I’ve found some winning ideas that have made the long ride an enjoyable trip instead of a dreaded nightmare! I share those ideas today over at Modern Parents Messy Kids.

When I was asked to do a guest post for Carrots Are Orange, I was ecstatic! Marnie consistently shares posts that get me excited. It was her inspiration that got me to bring more Montessori-based ideas into my own homeand I’ve been touched many times by her thoughts on motherhood. So, check out her website if you haven’t yet, AND check out my guest post on the ever-important, often overlooked, nonverbal communication.

The importance of non-verbal communication to any communicative exchange cannot be overstated. When we say a stranger was “so sweet” or even ”rubbed us the wrong way,” little of our response to that individual has to do with what they said. We are reading so much about a person through their body language, facial expression, actions, and tone.

For children, who are just learning language and the meaning of words, the value of nonverbal communication is even higher. It’s like you being in a country surrounded by another language. You look for any clues to make sense of the world around you. Children rely desperately on all the cues from the environment to take in information and establish connections. They are on the verge of understanding and soak up anything and everything to attach meaning to words. That’s how they learn.

They learn “mmm” means something tastes good by seeing you enjoy yourself, smile, and say “mmm” during a pleasant meal. If instead you made an awful face, spit out your food, and then said “mmm” that sound would have a different meaning for your child. So what we do creates meaning for what we say.

In my time working with children I’ve been blown away by how much detail they really perceive about their environment, and ME in particular! Children have pointed out when I have a new pair of shoes, noted their favorites in my earring collection, and imitated with the skill of a seasoned actor my thoughtless mannerisms, like tucking my hair behind my ear, scratching the tip of my nose, or resting my chin on my fist. If I’ve learned one thing from children, it’s that they are watching me.

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”

I’m so excited to share this eloquent and poignant post from Heather at Wordplayhouse. She and I became fast friends and I can’t tell you how much I value her sharing her story here at LIttle Stories. Her gentle kindness, simple beauty, and love for her family is quickly evident in everything she writes, and this post is no different. Please read, enjoy, think, and share…

It has always been a blessing to share the nature that surrounds us, with our children. We live in the midst of it. Our hill, our grove of maple trees, our woods. The branches to climb and swing from, the hills to sled down, the glade to traipse through, the songs of the birds and the leaves whispering.

Only, all of us weren’t enjoying everything.

As mothers, we know much about our own children. Each is different, and we know these differences. I did, and, I knew that one of ours was quiet, imaginative, and daydreamy. Just like me.

But, because I knew this, I did not notice that sometimes I repeated what I shared with this one child, often more than once. And, more loudly than I did to the others. And, I did not notice that this was not because she was in a daydream—

—She could not hear.

She could not hear the twitter of the birds, or the leaves swishing underfoot, on our nature walks. She could not hear the wind she felt against her cheeks. She was the one not enjoying everything. I did not know it. And, she was young enough where she may have never heard those soft, beautiful, sounds ever before.

In someone older, hearing loss may be just that. A loss of enjoyment of what you once had. And, then, perhaps hearing may be restored with the aid of a hearing device. But, for an infant or a toddler, hearing impairment is detrimental to so much—to learning about the world around them, to hearing instructions to learn basic tasks, and to simply learn to speak. Our child was not only not hearing the quiet sounds we were hearing outdoors—she was not hearing her parents or her siblings speak clearly. She did not possess access to the very way children learn to speak—by listening to others. So, her own speech began to take on irregularities.

Of course this has a happy ending, you know I am going to tell you soon that we discovered her hearing problem—fluid in both her ears that caused severe hearing loss in one ear especially. And, after ear surgery and a few sessions of speech therapy, she learned to recognize she was making an “s” sound instead of a “th” sound. And, she overcame her other speech problems as well.

But, the happy ending came with a price. Children in our state receive speech services free. In fact, the speech therapists travel to your home—no need to bring your children to an office for services. It is a wonderful benefit to children in need of services—

—If you are under three years old.

Our daughter went undiagnosed with her hearing difficulties and her speech problems until she was five. She was beyond the benefits of those helpful state services. We were responsible for acquiring private speech therapy for our child—and, we acquired the bills to go with them. Speech therapy is expensive. Our 30 minute sessions were $50. And, a 30 minute drive away.

It was an expensive lesson our family paid for more dearly than in simply money alone. Hearing impairment is so vital to catch early on. It effects more than missing out on the songs of birds and leaves rustling—It effects the very essence of being human. Communicating. All this time our child had spent being deprived of the wonderful tool of hearing, to participate fully in what many of us take for granted, is what our family paid most dearly for.

How can you be sure your child is hearing well and is acquiring proper speech patterns? In hind-site, I recognize some of our own missed signs. Look for them, and follow up on any concerns as early as possible:

Repeating. When giving instructions to our child, I would often find myself repeating the instructions, or find she had not followed the ones I had given—and, she had not heard me give. Are you repeating what you say to your child?

Speaking loudly. Are you speaking louder to your child than you normally speak to others? Does your child also speak loudly in return?

Lip reading. Does your child’s gaze drop to your lips while you are speaking? Ours began to compensate for her lack of hearing by watching our lips form the words she could not hear.

Ignoring. Does your child turn toward your voice when you begin to speak? Or, does it sometimes seem as though your child is “in their own world” or deep in their own thoughts?

If you question whether your child does have hearing difficulties, make an appointment with an audiologist. An in-depth hearing evaluation will be done, and a follow up appointment with a specialist will let you discuss ways to rectify your child’s hearing impairment, if any is needed.

Now, everyone here enjoys everything on our beautiful nature explores. And, everyone hears everything on them too—Our child has joined us with her own gift of sound.

Heather Cahoon is a mother of a few, and children’s book illustrator and designer, who shares her family’s inspiration for creative play and family time at wordplayhouse.com. Visit the inspiration shared there.

2 Responses

It’s always great to read a story with a happy ending. I have a two year old son who has a severe speech delay, doctors have tested his hearing many times and it’s just fine. Now we’re on the road to a diagnosis. We’re just grateful that we caught it early as we’re able to use the state funded early intervention services you mentioned.Mommy Monster recently posted..Play Time or Therapy Time?

Thank you for stopping by and sharing your story! I’m hopeful that your son has his happy ending. Your website for him is wonderful and I LOVE your word watch. I’d love to share it sometime. Please let me know through a comment or an e-mail.Kim recently posted..My Story by Heather of Wordplayhouse

Charlie, our dog, is amazing. Someone once said that his gift to the world is his unflappable calm, and it is. Even in his younger days, you would never find Charlie jumping, licking, or wildly tail-wagging. That’s just not the kind of dog he is. Charlie is more of a lie down, watch with soft, knowing eyes, and spread a gentle peace kind of a furry old man. He has eased a nervous cat on a long car ride, cuddled a crying child to sleep who desperately missed his mommy, offered himself up for pets to divert outsiders from giving attention to the new baby in the house, and stopped thousands of strangers on the street who just want to touch his quiet calm. Now, Charlie’s not all perfect. He’s opened doors, fit through openings a quarter of his size, and performed other magic tricks to get to food or to keep from being alone. So, no he’s not perfect, but he IS amazing.

Based on his gifts, Charlie’s been a therapy dog for about five years now. He’s always been great, but he truly found his calling this spring when he and I started as the first therapy dog team in our local school district. We go just twice a week for about an hour, and the children rotate turns so each child may end up reading just 10-15 minutes each week. In that time, in addition to their regular studies, the children participating in the program have remarkably raised their lexile scores (some going from not passing to passing the 2nd grade). I could not be more proud or excited to take part in such a special program.

But, on a recent visit as a child shared a hilarious book that made a play on classic nursery rhymes, I realized something – the boy had no clue about nursery rhymes and could not recite one. After a few more kids during that day’s visit, I realized MANY kids have no clue about nursery rhymes. Really?! My daughter has certainly loved learning them and seems to entertain herself in any quiet moments with the fun sounds on her tongue and the familiar rhythms.

And what about classic tales, like The Boy Who Cried Wolf? Nope. The kids in the reading program don’t know those either. But EVERY child should be able to experience the joy from these things that are eternally sacred to childhood. Especially because nursery rhymes and classic tales aren’t just fun, they are important. They teach our children so much.

Amanda at Not Just Cute explains all of this so well in her post, “The Best Books Are Ageless.” The value of classic children’s literature is endless, but primarily it establishes memories, creates something familiar from childhood, teaches rhyming, encourages playing with words and sounds to develop phonological awareness, and increases vocabulary.

So, let’s teach EVERY child these classics. AND even though they are enough by themselves, sometimes you may want to freshen them up and bring them into the now. Classics gone funky fresh are great, because they…

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4 Responses

I think nursery rhymes and classic stories are so important – we spend time each day singing our rhymes – usually have a CD with the songs on and regularly read classic tales as well.Cerys @ Rainy Day Mum recently posted..King or Queen Crown

I agree with you. I love the classics and nursery rhymes. : ) We have a wonderful program at our local library called “Mother Goose on the Loose” where they do a great job teaching the babies rhymes with motions.Bethany @ No Twiddle Twaddle recently posted..Free Kindle Picture Books

Aww she is so cute! We LOVE nursery rhymes. My sister actually made my daughter a book (I think at Staples) of all the nursery rhymes we learned growing up and it’s so great to have to go back to when I forget some!

There’s been so much written about being “mom enough” and what it means to be a mom, in the firestorm over the recent Time Magazine article on attachment parenting. Really I don’t write much about current issues on Little Stories because I hope to share concepts and theories that are timeless, but after reading the original Time article it got me thinking. I read so many great posts about how just the fact that you are a mom IS enough, and how your kids just want you (by Triple T Mum), and I couldn’t agree more. All parenting theories and Little Stories theories aside, little ones just need you, in your true form.

I don’t ever want Little Stories to be part of the More Academics Earlier Push or the Be This Way Or Your Child Will Suffer Movement. I want Little Stories to encourage real interactions, to ask you to slow down, end nervous chatter, and to tune-in to your child during everyday activities. If you can share these real moments, in snippets throughout the day that’s really all your child needs to learn language- not flash cards, noisy toys, study time, or lavished language. No special toys, fancy projects, or early reading programs required.

I touched on this in my 10 Ways to Practice Waiting post, but Little Stories concepts are best implemented not during “learning” or “speech” time. And while it’s great to use these concepts when playing with your child, they work wonderfully when you are just engaged in your everyday routines. Times like brushing teeth, getting dressed, and having meals are engagement and communication goldmines! Because those routines are so familiar, children are more sure of what they are doing and have more of their concentration available to focus on learning language. Also, YOU can really focus on your child.

So, today (and hopefully tomorrow), instead of rushing through those routines to get to the important stuff, take time. Self care, home care, and daily routines ARE the important stuff. That’s life and it’s a wonderful time to bond with your child. As you move through the routines of tidying toys, sorting laundry, prepping meals, washing hands, or feeding pets, pause, watch your child, make eye contact, smile, and just be available.

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24 Responses

This is such a great post. I don’t have “learning time” we do activities, crafts, play together when the moment takes us to that do but I don’t sit down and teach either J or T about speech or language or anything like that. I do though talk constantly to them and with them. Todays word of the morning from T (14 months) was Stuck, and this afternoon she decided to go with “Who is it” and “nose”, “Belly”, “Head” then “GONE!”. J (33 months) was going on about “Who’s my best friend?” “My Mummy is my best friend”, “Which are my best shoes” “My wellies are my best shoes!” It seems that his word was best and wanted to make sure that I knew about what was best in his terms. Funniest was “Which is the best cupboard” “The snack cupboard is the best cupboard!”. It’s all every day words for us.Cerys @ Rainy Day Mum recently posted..Tuesday Tots – some playdough fun

Thank you! You’re right that crafts and activities are all so much fun and I don’t want parents to stop doing those things (EVER!). I just hope they know that their child is learning all of the time like you explained with J & T (so much fun!, especially the “best”) and no matter what not missing those times to connect.

I’ve been thinking so much about the different types of parents. Some like doing crafts, some like cuddling, some like sports, and some like reading. I just hope parents (myself included) keep in mind that it’s great to follow your child’s lead and provide a variety of activities, but no matter what you are going to be better at certain activities than others. The perfectionist in me has a hard time with messy play and art. I will always make an effort to do those things with my daughter, but I’m trying to cut myself some slack and know that while messiness will never be my strength, I’ll be great at doing other things with her, and that ultimately she just needs me. That me, in our life, everyday, is just “enough”.

yes! This goes for EVERYTHING you want your child to learn – language, math, reading, etc. etc. Like you’ve said before, learning the names of shapes or colors isn’t nearly as important as learning “milk” or “sleepy.” And I was feeling a bit guilty about not “doing preschool” with Adam this year, but I realized he has learned everything he needs to learn through play and/or household chores!katie @ On the Banks of Squaw Creek recently posted..Make Things Beautiful

Wonderful post! We try to make the most out of the “everyday” moments and I have really put off on doing a lot of the more traditional learning time with my son. He has learned a lot through play and everyday moments. He has recently started asking for more traditional learning time though, so I suppose we’ll be doing both!Joyce @Childhood Beckons recently posted..15 Outdoor Playdate Activities

Thank you so much for your kind words. I can tell from your blog that you have certainly taken advantage of many everyday moments. If your son’s ready for structured activities, and there is a time when every child hopefully will be, I think you should certainly follow his lead! Isn’t that exciting? A whole new world of learning for you both! I can’t wait to see what you both do. He’s so lucky to have a mom who is as creative and fun as you.

I hoped with this post to remind parents that routines aren’t about just getting stuff done, they are learning opportunities too. Over time children will also become more and more independent in these routines and that becomes a whole difference experience and learning opportunity. We can’t let these moments pass us by, right?

This is the first time I’ve been to your site and this is the first entry I’ve read. It really resonated with me. I find myself questioning, ‘am I doing enough for my child?’ You see, I don’t take time for flashcards, different languages or fancy toys. It’s just me and my boys. We finger paint, ‘cook,’ read stories and clean together. After reading this post I feel I can be a little more confident in my approach to parenting. Thank you.

Patricia-
That’s exactly what I hoped for. For everyone to feel confident in THEIR approach. Parenting is not a one size fits all thing and we each have to find OUR groove. As long as we are real and present, we are doing the right thing! Thank you!!

Great post – exactly what I believe too. Sometimes people say to me “oh I’m a rubbish mum becuase I don’t do crafts” probably because they see my blog. I just think it doesn’t matter what you do with them it could be crafts or the washing up or fixing the car, as long as you talk to them and show interest and make them a part of it.Rebecca recently posted..How to make a spin painting

Wow, this is such a wonderful post. This is the first I have read of your blog, but I will certainly be following you. I will share this on Facebook as well. I think that everyone should read this!Bethany @ No Twiddle Twaddle recently posted..Children’s Book Reviews

Thanks for the encouragement. I feel like I did this with my first son. we played together and I talked to him and sang to him as we did household chores and his learning just developed. I do the same with my second son but he has a language delay. It is SOOO hard not to cave in and push him harder. I see him making progress every day. It’s just slower than other kids his age (in language). I have had people nicely comment that maybe he should be in preschool or enrolled in something to help him. He’s only 2 and I wasn’t ready to send him off to formal preschool yet. This post is a great reminder that simply doing more at a young age will not be what benefits him. I think he will make progress if we continue with our daily routine and infuse as much language into that routine as possible. Great post!Jackie Higgins recently posted..Zoo Books for Preschoolers

Welcome! I think you’ve come to the right place! Hopefully you will be able to infuse the Little Stories concepts into your daily routines and play and begin to see changes in your son! Please keep me posted.

You make a lot of good points. The women in my bible study (many of a different generation) were talking today about how this generation of moms have so much pressure on them. How it is really the first that is so child centered and with that they have a huge amount of guilt that they are not doing enough. But as you have described, so much happens in seemingly ordinary moments. Vicky from http://www.messforless.net

What a wonderful reminder this post is! Since we adopted our son last year, I have always tried to speak to him as much as I could during the day to help with the language transition and bonding. I explained things I was doing as I did them, like baking a cake. Even though he didn’t really understand, he was getting used to my voice and having someone there for him. Now that he’s getting older, I love that he can “talk” back with me a bit more. We even try to incorporate silly songs for certain chores like brushing your teeth. It makes the day so much more fun and connected. Thanks for sharing this lovely post!Gina recently posted..Day 46: Kid’s Get Arty with van Gogh

What a lovely blog you have and a lovely post! Those everyday moments end being the best ones anyway, right? I find those are the times you get the best feedback from your children and the light in their eyes when they realize they can do something on their own: pour milk into their cereal, brush teeth, let out the bath water, put on lotion, help with chores. We LOVE crafts and learning time, but most of the learning occurs when we least expect it. Thank you for sharing!

Lovely post! I think you are absolutely correct. I think that sometimes parents, especially moms, get caught up in trying to do more, when that is not at all what the child needs. It really is about sometimes just doing whatever it is you are doing intentionally. Many times our everyday routines are the most magical and connected parts of our day. And I see this being true even as they continue to grow. Thanks for sharing!Megan @ Coffee Cups and Crayons recently posted..Mother’s Day Card and a Money Flower

What a great reminder! I was just thinking this morning how with my first I used to take our time with all of those routines and see each one as a learning opportunity for her, but nowadays, with two, I tend to be always rushing one or the other or both through the routines to get to the next thing on our ‘to-do’ list. Thanks for the reminder to slow down and let them learn.Jane @ Mama Pea Pod recently posted..{Painting Nails}

Great post Kim, every time I sit down and try to ‘teach’ something to my daughter she completely resists. It works so much better if things are taught doing everyday things…counting out grapes, help with food shopping and so on. I love your blog and you have great ideas. Thanks for sharing.Ali recently posted..A miniature rock pool

Your words ring true! I especially love your point about the flash cards. I don’t use flash cards with my daughter. I know she’ll learn to talk by talking with me, hearing me talk to her, etc. Flash cards are never a substitute for a loving, caring parent who openly communicates with their child. (I don’t know why some people view the use of them as a way to get their child ahead. For math, yes. For early childhood language, no.)

I’m very excited for you and hope you’ll write me back and let me know how it goes! In general kids seem so happy with their “new” toys they don’t remember what is missing! BUT if there was something your child was really missing I think it would be a great “special” time toy for when mommy or daddy needed to prep dinner, do some work, or make a phone call. What do you think?

Oh, I so needed to read this! We try to take in a lot of these every day moments, but aren’t always so good at it. Recently, I have got caught up in “teaching” my 2.5 yr old his letters, and after reading this I think I can let myself off the hook a little!

You have one me over, I am your newest follower! Also, adding you to my links page. I am a pediatric OT blogging about sensory play and feeding your kid.

]]>My Story by Katie of On the Banks of Squaw Creekhttp://www.thelittlestories.com/2012/04/04/my-story-by-katie-of-on-the-banks-of-squaw-creek/
Wed, 04 Apr 2012 00:52:31 +0000http://thelittlestories.com/?p=83

I have two little boys, 3 ½ and 1 (on March 28) and I just recently came across Kim’s amazing blog. As a former teacher, I am naturally inclined to pay attention to my children’s development. Little Stories has taught me so many lessons that I’ve been able to apply to one (or both) of my boys.

For example, my littlest, Isaac, has been a great babbler for months, but wasn’t using any words until just a couple of weeks ago when I started using the “I Hold, You Talk Technique” with him. I had just discovered Little Stories, read the Fill the Page Trainings, and decided to put them to work. I spent a day or two just observing him and paying attention…really trying to get a handle on what pages to fill, and where his Zone of Proximal Development was.

I realized pretty quickly that he (and I) both say “um num” when he’s eating. When he’s chomping on something he really loves, he’ll chant “um, num, num, num, num” as he chews. So, that was the first page I concentrated on. I wanted him to use the word to show us that he was hungry.

Turns out, “I Hold, You Talk” is perfect to use with food. He was VERY motivated to get that spoon in his mouth. I started out as Kim suggested – I didn’t require him to say “um num” right away, but as soon as he made any sound, I gave him a bite. Within just a few meal times, he was saying “um num” to tell me he wanted more. After a few more days, he crawled over to his high chair, pointed, and told us he was hungry!

I hope we’ve established the importance of pretend play with our last post titled “Play Schmay! What’s so great about pretend anyway?” and a link to a fantastic article also highlighting the benefits of pretend. BUT, once you know and believe in the benefits of pretend, you still may be at a loss and not know where to begin the pretending, so here are my three rules for how to get started.

1) Start small, grow big.

Some people don’t realize that pretend play is actually a continuum that develops over time, just like any other childhood skill. At first, it begins small, with something like hugging a baby doll, with one action and with familiar activities of daily life. It slowly increases to sequences of actions and then to include abstract ideas that are part of a fantasy. It takes time though and knowing where your child is on the continuum of pretend play is important. So let’s go through some examples.

My daughter has loved pretend play since she could walk. She carries a baby doll where ever she goes and applies her daily life to the baby doll. It began with giving the baby hugs, then she found a spoon and fed the baby. Now she puts the baby in a highchair, gives it a bib, cooks eggs in her kitchen set, seasons the eggs with her seasoning shaker, puts the eggs on a plate, gets out a spoon and a cup, and feeds the baby. She’s also extended this activity to the Little Stories mascot, the purple rabbit, and other baby dolls and animals. So, over the past eight months, she has slowly expanded this pretend play scheme from one action to seven sequential actions and also generalized the scheme from one toy to several. BUT, these are still concrete actions that she’s seen over and over every day. Pretend play stays concrete for awhile but slowly begins to expand from object to object and to less frequent experiences, such as going to the doctor or visiting Grandma. These experiences are not as frequent as getting a hug or eating a meal, but they are still concrete activities to which your child can easily relate.

Then, finally, your child becomes an abstract thinker, can reason, and can create. THAT’S when your child can go to the moon, become a mad scientist inventing a new race of aliens, or travel to the depths of the ocean to visit water-loving ponies. So, understand where your child is on that pretend continuum, keep expectations realistic, and encourage developmentally appropriate play.

2) Know your child.

Pretend play doesn’t come naturally for every child and each child is different in their level of need for structure and assistance in pretending. You may have a child who amazes you each day with new pretend play schemes and begging you to come along to the race track on Mars or to see the dinosaurs from the window of the Time Travel Machine. OR you may have a child who struggles with pretend, and gravitates to other types of play.

Although pretend is meant to allow your child to run wild with her thoughts, it’s ok if you have to structure it some for your child to get her in the game. You may have to begin by having two baby dolls available, one out and ready for your child, and one where you model feeding, rocking, and shushing. You may be the one setting up the grocery store and asking your child to check you out. In those situations, try to allow the activity to provide the structure, use your character to give direction, and keep from being the “Play Boss” where you tell your child directly what to do at each step. For example, if you are playing grocery store, look around and say, “Hm, I wonder if anyone works here. I wish could find someone to pay for my food. Ma’am, do you work here? Can you check me out?” rather than “Ok. Now you stand there and I’ll pay you.”

Once a pretend scheme is familiar, such as the grocery store scheme, structure it less and less. See where your child goes with it. Then begin to introduce and structure new schemes so your child expands her repertoire scheme by scheme.

3) Steal ideas and keep it fun.

Your child is GOING to want to play the same pretend schemes over and over. Remember that as a child everything is new, and your child needs to practice things over and over to work out all of the details and imprint experiences in her memory. So even if you’re sick of going to the ice cream shop, try to suck it up and enjoy your cone!

The good news is while your child is still practicing those old schemes, you can introduce new schemes that may become old favorites. The best way to do that is to steal ideas from other creative people.

You can start by checking out some great blogs, where moms all over the world are getting creative in their pretend play with their kids. I loved these recent posts by Imagination Tree on doctor play, Dinosaurs and Octopuses on dress up play, and Rainy Day Mum on boats.

Then, get ready, because my absolute FAVORITE thing to do in all of my work with children, and the inspiration for the name of this website, is to act out stories from books. The idea that “pretend play is a story” comes alive when children begin by acting out stories from real books. They already have images to relate to when creating their play actions from the pictures they’ve seen in the book, and their understanding of the words and language in the story is deepened by having acted out and lived the experience. Acting out books brings print to life!

So, take a book, gather as many real objects as you can from the story, put them in a bag or box. Tell the story with by pulling out each of your props as you go. Then put the book away, but leave out the story props. Again, know your child and how much you may need to structure the experience, but allow the story to unfold and repeat this experience daily until your child is fairly independent in telling the story. You will see that your child will never look at that book in the same way. Her eyes are now opened to the magic of stories on a whole new level.

Then, stay tuned, because I’ll be giving specific examples of some of my favorite books and how to act them out. THIS is where the playing gets fun!

What was your child’s first pretend play scheme? Where is your child on the continuum of pretend play? Have you ever acted out a book before?

6 Responses

I love pretend play, and hadn’t really thought of it as a line of development and that the point J is at is quite far down the line instead I had perceived it as another development milestone that he had reached but without any predecessor sort of on a new tract. Now that you talk about it that way T who is 10 months almost 11 months she will play with her dolls and has done since they were brought at Christmas for her, she hugs them puts them on the potty (J is potty training at the moment) and puts them in and out of the pram. We do a lot of crafts around books that we read but haven’t done any pretend play. I’ve not in my mind some goldilocks and the 3 bears play ideasCerys @ Rainy Day Mum recently posted..Pretend Play – Boats on the river

Cerys, I’m so happy you realized that even your younger baby is pretending already! She’s acting out all of those initial schemes to sequence them together soon! I can’t wait to see what you do with Goldilocks & the Three Bears! Please share pictures!Kim recently posted..How To Pretend

Kim & Amanda, thanks for checking us out! I love the post you shared and how your children acted it out! My FAVORITE! Going to share that link on my FB wall right now. Looking forward to talking with you more and sharing more ideas.Kim recently posted..How To Pretend

Thank you so much for including us in this wonderful article. I love that you act out stories! We do that here as well and it’s always a hit. Thank you for spreading the word on the magic of pretend play. I love the picture again too! So sweet.Joyce @Dinosaurs And Octopuses recently posted..The Heart Project: A Fundraiser

Well, I’ve always loved pretend play. As a little girl I spent endless hours playing school, house, beauty salon and any other game my friends and I could make up. My passion for pretend play soared though when I became a speech-language pathologist. I saw that there were very clear benefits to pretend play that cannot be matched by other therapeutic activities. If you want to give your child one gift related to his language development, give him the gift of pretend play. It will serve him well.

These are just SOME of the benefits:

Pretend fits all sizes. A pretend play scheme can begin with a child JUST beginning to understand and use language with something like feeding a baby or giving it a sweet hug. That same pretend play scheme can be expanded to a child working on complex language structures to include things like “the baby isn’t quite ready for a nap because he hasn’t had lunch yet, and we weren’t able to make lunch because we need to go to the grocery store first, and after we get home from the store we can cook lunch, so that baby can take a nap.”

Pretend is a story. The ability to tell a story or a narrative is the pinnacle of early language development. Good narrative skills actually combine most speech and language skills (articulation, grammar structure, vocabulary, organization of time, etc.) into one package. So THAT’S what we want our children to be able to do, BE STORYTELLERS. By encouraging, practicing, expanding on pretend play, we are readying our children to be excellent storytellers, because in order for our children to have stories to tell they have to have the pictures in their minds first. Those pictures will be what they describe to the listener as a story. So, when your child feeds the stuffed dog, walks it on a string that’s a “leash”, gets water for the dog because he’s thirsty, and then lays the dog down in a dog bed for a nap, your child is creating pictures of those actions in his mind that will be ready for a story some day. The more stories in your child’s brain, the more experiences he has to relate to when listening to and reading stories, and the more pictures he has on the ready to overlay language and to TELL stories. Pretend play sequences are our children’s little stories to tell and retell over and over!

Pretend requires social skills. Engaging in pretend play requires you to think outside of yourself, imagine how a dog might be thirsty, or how a baby may be hungry. You are required to follow social rules and think of other’s feelings. If social skills can be a challenge for your child, your child may shy away from pretend play because it won’t come as naturally. But you can gently model and have fun with your child by teaching him pretend play schemes. Once children are exposed to pretend play, they often begin to catch on and realize they can feed the baby, and they can also feed the stuffed dog, and the stuffed alien. They begin to slowly engage in pretend play on their own. So get in there, and teach those play schemes if they aren’t coming naturally to your child.

Pretend is magical! Pretend play allows you to go places, learn vocabulary, and practice things that you just can’t in real life! It’s fantasy! And while I always encourage parents to start pretend play with things that are concrete and happen in your child’s everyday life (ex: eating, sleeping, walking outside, checking the mail, etc.), when your child is ready, you can take your child to the moon. As a parent, you can really join your child in the wonder and magic of his imagination. Riding the pretend ride with your child will allow you to step back into the joys of childhood for yourself and connect with your child in a whole new way.

Pretend is fun! Kids think it is HILARIOUS to see Mommy lay down on the floor pretending to be asleep, or pretend to be startled awake. They love to see parents having fun, acting out ideas, and being silly, so they are motivated to join in and learn something! THIS is what we are talking about here at Little Stories when we say let’s get to the work and fun of playing, because kids are doing work while they play and they have no idea how much they are learning!

BUT if you still aren’t convinced and you think your child would be better off reading a book, practicing vocabulary with flashcards, or working on SCLANS (gasp!), read this. To me this article is EVERYTHING that’s right about early education. They explain how your child can get to have great and long-lasting academic success, while playing their way there.

Do you engage in pretend play with your child? What’s your child’s favorite pretend play sequence? What has your child learned from pretend play?

12 Responses

Thank goodness my husband excelled at ‘pretend play’. I became a student of the practice of ‘pretend’ by watching him with our children. We had very different childhoods. His was full of Daniel Boone fort building and wild outrageous adventures. Without a doubt, every session of pretend play is worth an entire year of books and flash cards. Great article.

Dawn, I’ve found that many dads are the pretenders in the family. I think sometimes it can be hard for moms to stop “doing”, let go of inhibitions, and just play with no plan or direction. But, if they can let themselves go there, they can take their creativity to a whole new level.Kim recently posted..What’s So Great About Pretend Play Anyway?

I’m so glad there are more people talking about the benefits of pretend play. I adore the picture at the top as well. Thanks for sharing!Joyce @Dinosaurs And Octopuses recently posted..I Spy Toy Collage Heart

Kim,
I personally think this is your best post yet. I guess this one gets a little personal for me. My child is on the Autism Spectrum and as most know, this is said to affect their social skills, their ability to imagine and pretend. I will not say it has been easy but through repetitive pretend play, costumes, and props (often hand made) we were able to teach him pretend play and he uses it and has slowly but surely been growing his imagination. He is now, at 4 years old, able to pretend play with his friends at school without the help of a grown up having to prompt him. So yes, I have to admit sometimes teaching a child with special needs how to play can be challenging, however I will also be the first to say it is well worth it when you see those eyes shining and that smile go across your childs face as he roars as loud as he can with his friends because he was chosen to be the lion at the zoo. I may be a lil bias here, but I have to say he was the best lion I had ever seen. Thanks again Kim for your wonderful website!!

Thanks, Lacy! It’s so great to hear how well your son is doing with pretending, AND how much he’s enjoying it! It can be hard sometimes to think of pretend play schemes. Would you mind listing a few of your favorite pretend play schemes that you worked on with your son?Kim recently posted..What’s So Great About Pretend Play Anyway?

Oh wow… that list is endless, but I will see what I can do. When we do pretend play now it includes both my 4 year old with autism and my typical developing two year old, my husband and myself. We all get involved and have a great time.

Store -We did this one to help with several things, such as good behavior in a store, money, learning to pay for things before you take them, etc.

Zoo – We did this one to help the little one learn animal sounds and we also acted out the book Goodnight Gorilla and 123 to the zoo.

Dinosaurs – We did this one because it was fun, and acted out the book How do Dinosaurs Eat their food which teaches table manners.

Barber Shop – We did this one for A LONG time because my oldest son had major sensory difficulties with the barber shop. Happy to say he now enjoys going to the barber.

Doctor and Dentist – This helped each the fears of of visiting the doctor and dentist office.

Firestation/ Police station – We got to play this one and be firefighters and police officers to help the oldest learn how and when to call 911 and the youngest to become familiar with who police and firefighters are and that they are safe people.

Resturant – This one allows the boys be the chefs and waiters and daddy and I get to be fed. This one helps them learn how to act in a resturant, how to order food from a waiter, healthy food choices, it also works on some memory skills because we tell them what we want and they have to “cook” it and remember what it was and bring it to us.

I could continue, but will stop there for now. If you are stuck feel free to post and I could help you come up with some more ideas. All of these are fun and help with so many different things including speech, social interactions, good behavior etc. Have fun teaching…oops I mean playing with your children.

That list is WONDERFUL! I love how you highlighted how you were targeting real life concepts, like practicing for the barber shop or doctor, in pretend play. I REALLY love how you highlighted acting out books. That is one of my favorite thing to do with kids! Great info, Lacy. Thank you.Kim recently posted..What’s So Great About Pretend Play Anyway?

This article is great and I really needed it right about now. I am a SAHM and my DD wants to play the same thing all the time all day long. I know why it is important (bc I have an AS in ECE, BA in Child Study and K-6 Cert) but it is so important to hear it from someone else after you have been out of school a bit and being Grandma that has to drive her Grandaughter to the store or after being a dog in the woods for the 3000 time. LOL

Heather, it sounds like your daughter is creating some pretty awesome stories! It’s great that you are right there with her letting her imagination take you both on a ride. Good work, mama! Your daughter may really enjoy acting out familiar stories from books as well. Stay tuned for my post later this week.Kim recently posted..What’s So Great About Pretend Play Anyway?

My Story by Quinta Mike

Maddie is a beautiful and playful preschooler who is diagnosed with autism.

She is enrolled in an inclusion preschool classroom and receives speech therapy and occupational therapy.

This is her mother’s story of how they got where they are today.

When were you first concerned about your daughter’s development?

When Maddie was 18 months old my sister watched her for the weekend. When my sister returned her to me, she mentioned that Maddie hadn’t said anything all weekend. My sister made a big deal about it, and it kind of confirmed my concerns, because I had been thinking the same thing for about a month. Even though I knew not talking at her age probably wasn’t good, it wasn’t until someone else brought it up that I realized it really was an issue.

I felt horrible. I felt guilty for having suspected something for a while but not acting on it, but I didn’t know where to start or what to do.

How did your journey begin with early intervention services for Maddie?

Well, it was a long road. The first difficulty was getting everyone in the family on board. When I discussed it with my husband, he wanted to give her a little more time. But as a mother, I couldn’t let it go. I was with her everyday and I knew she wasn’t really saying anything. She was also acting different than the other kids. She was always off to herself. She wanted to suck on a sippy cup even if it was empty, almost like a pacifier, and she only wanted to watch TV. She had no interest in interacting with us. If we didn’t let her have her sippy cup and watch TV, she would cry, holler, and have extreme tantrums. She was also having a lot of ear infections, so I knew we had to get help.

After going through different agencies we ended up with our state’s Birth to Three Early Intervention Program, but even that was difficult. Once we got Maddie started with someone, at first, she didn’t want to participate. She would cry. She would run. She would tantrum so hard the entire time that the therapist couldn’t work with her. She didn’t want anything to do with it at all. I got stressed out about it and started realizing something was really going on. Her attention span was so short, she would get irritated real easily. The first therapist was getting frustrated, I was getting frustrated, and we weren’t getting anywhere.

Was there a turning point in services or Maddie’s development?

There were probably two turning points, one with me as her mother and one with her therapist.

First, I had to have some hope that she could get better. Once her older sister started school, I had time just with her. I started working with her. We turned the TV off and I’d make her come to me. Even though she was comfortable being on her own, with her cup, I got her spending more time with me. I would stack blocks, take her hand, knock them over, and make such a big deal about it that I finally got her to smile. I knew we were getting somewhere because she actually touched something and paid attention to me! It was huge. Even though it didn’t seem like much, I felt like she was slowly coming back into our world and connecting with me.

But at the same time her intervention services weren’t going well. We had gone through three therapists and we weren’t getting anywhere. They were all frustrated with Maddie and I wanted to give up on therapy altogether. I didn’t feel much like the professionals had a way to help me, but the service coordinator convinced me to try one more therapist.

So, when the fourth therapist started she promised me that if we, meaning me and my husband, worked together with her to treat my daughter, we would see a difference in a year. She told me that we could change Maddie’s development, but that it was going to take work. We knew this was our last chance and committed to do it.

The therapist started slowly with Maddie. She worked with Maddie’s older sister at first, so Maddie could just watch and see that it was fun. She slowly had Maddie do more and more. Even though it was slow, Maddie still cried sometimes, but it was less, and the therapist explained everything she was going to do ahead of time and why, so I could trust her more. I was seeing progress and it was so good to see.

Then the therapist started bringing up the word autism, and the possibility of getting a diagnosis. I was overwhelmed because I didn’t know much about it. When I thought back, the first therapist would throw out little words to try to hint at autism but never really said it. But the new therapist explained to me that there were different levels and she gave me more information, and I felt like I was comfortable enough to ask questions and get even more information. I started to do my own research and I started to feel like, “Ok if this is true, what can I do to help?” So anything she told me to do, I took it as my homework to help my child get better. That just made me want to work even harder.

What advice would you give to other parents?

I hold on to a piece of advice our pediatrician told us. The pediatrician said,

“It doesn’t matter what she’s diagnosed with. The only thing that matters is the treatment and the therapists you have to work with.”

That really hit home with me, so I would tell parents to look for someone who they can trust and connect with, someone they feel comfortable with. The therapist that worked for us was willing to tell us what she was going to do, why it may be difficult, and why it would help Maddie. The way she presented the information made sense to me and made me feel comfortable. She let me know that she was going to support me and build that connection. I finally understood what we were trying to do. I understood the goals.

What is your daughter currently up to?

She’s talking in sentences and answering questions. It’s amazing. To go from really having no words, to her telling me today that she has to go potty. The other day she said, “I gotta go potty. Potty. Pee. Pee.” It’s amazing. And in school there is a strong possibility that she will be in a regular education classroom when she starts kindergarten next year.

6 Responses

It is so good to read your story. I don’t know if you remember, but I remember I spoke with you right after you had your last therapist. I am so glad that you guys were able to stick with it and improve not only Maddie’s quality of life but also the lives of your entire family. I am so proud of her and you! Please stay in touch.

So happy to hear your inspiring words. Maddie’s early path was one of LOVE, STRUGGLE and TRIUMPH. You are an amazing mom. Thank you for sharing Maddie’s story and giving other families first hand insight and, most importantly, HOPE during those early years. Way to go, Maddie!

Hey Sis’, I was deeply touched by your story. I remember when the concern first arrised, and I also remember what we said. We’re a praying family, and we knew that with the help of God, those therapist, and the family Madi would pull through this thing. I am so encouraged by your strength, I remember when you told us and how we didn’t want to accept the diagnosis. But, I bless God that you were able to rise above it and get everybody on board. Madi has come so far because of your strength. Your an awesome mom! Love you Sis’
-from Auntie Quila, Uncle Erwin, and cousins Eriona & Shanoire’