Bad writer: I want a perfect manuscript without the need to edit, a six-figure publishing deal for my first novel and a byline in The New York Times, even though I just graduated from journalism school.

Practice makes perfect? What a joke.

4. Neither can handle constructive criticism.

Toddler: On hearing that more clothing might help keep him or her warm, runs screaming and naked through the house.

Bad writer: There is no such thing as constructive criticism, only haters.

I know my writing best.

5. Babies and bad writers expect others to clean up their messes.

Toddler: (Purposely empties boots full of sand in the car)

Mommy, there’s sand in the car!

Get it out!

Bad writer: (Leaves copy riddled with mistakes)

Ehh, my editor will spruce it up.

It doesn’t need to be perfect.

6. No matter their age, they just won’t listen.

Toddler: Sings “Let it Go” at the top of her lungs while dad tries to ask if she needs to go potty.

Bad writer: I’m an artist, OK?

They wouldn’t understand.

I’ll just keep doing me.

7. They throw a fit at the drop of a hat.

Toddler: I said I want “Moana” radio, not “Beauty and the Beast” radio!