Lisa's Laws: Miley won't be last of the 'hot messes' to gawk at

I know, I know, I know. We're all probably sick of Miley Cyrus by now. Her VMA performance was a week ago, and even if you missed the live broadcast of MTV's Video Music Awards, you've probably seen the 20-year-old Miley twerk, maybe even a few times. The video has gone more than viral. It's unavoidable.

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By Lisa Ramirez

recordonline.com

By Lisa Ramirez

Posted Sep. 1, 2013 at 2:00 AM

By Lisa Ramirez

Posted Sep. 1, 2013 at 2:00 AM

» Social News

I know, I know, I know. We're all probably sick of Miley Cyrus by now. Her VMA performance was a week ago, and even if you missed the live broadcast of MTV's Video Music Awards, you've probably seen the 20-year-old Miley twerk, maybe even a few times. The video has gone more than viral. It's unavoidable.

The girl, it cannot be denied, put on quite the show, and everyone is talking about it.

Which, of course, is what it's all about. We've been talking about the bears, and the latex bikini, and the exceedingly awkward invasion of Robin Thicke's personal space.

I watched the performance with my kid, Bella, who is now 12 but spent the better part of first grade in a Hannah Montana T-shirt. And while her musical tastes have since gravitated more toward Kristen Chenoweth, ABBA and a bit of Billy Joel, she has stayed interested in the former Disney star's doings. Her reaction over the course of Miley's time on the VMA stage went like this:

Whoa.

What's up with the bears?

Why is her tongue so out?

Is she trying to be Madonna? This is Madonna's thing.

Who's that guy?

What's up with the hand?

What? Whoa! Is she ...? Whoa!

In the end, Bella was pretty confused by it all. And yes, I cringed (and hoped that someone was waiting offstage with one of those medical red biohazard bags in which to dispose of the aforementioned foam hand), but it seems like only yesterday I was defending the Sex Pistols and Prince and Guns 'n Roses (anybody remember "Used to Love Her"?). Pearls have been clutched since Niccolo Paganini first drew his bow across a violin, and the music industry thrives on shock and controversy.

And sure, Madonna did, and still does, strut around onstage in her underwear, grabbing herself and, often, others, and she's treated us to sno-cone bras and thongs and occasional writhing. But despite all that, you always knew that Madonna had it together. Even during that weird Sean Penn phase, you knew that Madge was on time for meetings, kept her checkbook balanced and remembered to feed that cat.

Miley, though, looked a hot mess, and I think that's what makes me worry. "Hot mess" seems to be a trend, a look and persona cultivated by too many young female celebrities.

Amanda Bynes, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, they were all adorable not all that long ago, but now they seem to stumble through their days, squinting into the bright light of day and dressed in the clothes they found on the bathroom floor. I'm just glad nobody's paying any attention to Paris Hilton anymore.

And they have older, presumably adult women, to emulate, from Tara Reid to the Kardashians to a good number of the Real Housewives. There have never, it seems, been so many train wrecks at which to gawk. And if, by some freak of chance all of the famous hot messes sleep in for the day, we can always count on a Teen Mom or some misguided Amish kid to spiral out of control on camera for us.

The hot mess is fun to watch, I suppose, and some — Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, Anna Nicole — we'll always remember. And there will always be others to take their place.