AOC: I Drink Wine And I Think I Know Things

WASHINGTON – She’s an expert in all that she talks about. No matter the issue, the 29 year-old socialist genius claims to have all the answers. She’s been a climate expert, an economics expert, an impeachment expert, and a Holocaust expert. This week, she’s an expert on the US southern border.

“I log onto Instagram,” Cortez explained, “Then I drink wine and think I know things. It’s my duty to share my opinions with the country. That’s the price I pay for knowing more than most people. And in case you’re wondering, I attained most of my wisdom from listening to drunk people talk about politics while I tended bar.”

Alexandria recently told officials with the US Border Patrol how to do their jobs. She also tweeted instructions to the many illegal aliens who surf the web on how to evade federal officials.

Most recently, she’s decried America’s detention facilities, pointing out horrid living conditions including air conditioning, Xbox’s, soccer fields, and three square meals a day, to concentration camps.

“I read all about the Holocaust in history books, and these conditions are eerily similar to those places in Germany in World War 2. The wine and Instagram just helps me, like, articulate my intelligence to the masses,” Cortez said.