Spank Pops is my new favourite rapper, whichever one he is

When one receives a fair few emails from folk hawking their musical acts, it sometimes takes something a little extry to get one to open, um, one. The name “Spank Pops” is an example of such extryness. It draws to mind, simultanishly, such possibilliums as:

1. Some of that popping candy you used to put on your tongue and which would supposedly blow your cerebellum out of your eye-holes if you mixed it with Safeways cola, no really, this kid at my cousin’s school died from it

1.1 A slightly disturbing endeavour involving force, a cricket bat and an old man’s bum-bum

Anywonk, it’s a great name and Spank Pops has immediately become my favourite rapper. Or he would be, if I knew which of the three gentlemen in the video he is. Oh sure, I could go back and listen to the lyrics properly because he’s just bound to refer to himself by name, like they all do. But he might be the ugly one, and I want him to be the coolest one. Spank Pops has to be the coolest one.

Spank and his bubs appear to be hipping and hopping about how great San Francisco is, which is a topic not often encountered in The Rap Game (by me, anyway). I can picture lots of Silicon Valley “tech” “entrepreneurs” who have just “received seeding” (ick) empathising with Jern, Spank and J’s sentiments, only they would probably do so while wearing chinos and holding iPhones to their ears.

(If this “parody” video already exists, please do not share it avec moi.)

BLOODY ANYWAY. I like this song a lot, because it’s the kind of thing that gets one’s head nodding in a slightly self-conscious manner, which is my favourite way to feel old about music. Lully hook, too.