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I'll start by saying I have never been shoved so far through the doors of perception as I was this trip. This was the most bizarre and humbling experience I've ever had under the care of any psychedelic.

Tuesday night myself, Dimmy, and my girlfriend Jacklin consumed varying amounts of mushrooms. Jack and I both ate 3.5 grams of dried Cubensis, and Dimmy consumed a 4 gram combination of Cubensis and Weilii. It was to be my 7th time with mushrooms.

The trip came on very quick - Jack and I were feeling body sensations and a sort of slight fuzziness after only about 20 minutes. I noticed it first after going upstairs to play guitar. I was playing an electric which was run through a large effects processor, with long delay and an equally long flange effect. The result was a spacey atmospheric lull in every note, with a long, sweeping echo which seemed to fade into infinity over a period of maybe 6 seconds.

We went downstairs and outside to smoke a cigarette and converse. We ended up staying outside for about 30 minutes just sharing cigarettes and conversation. By the time we went inside, Jacklin and I were both noting to each other that it was "going to be a very intense trip."

Our music for the night was composed of such favorites as Shpongle and Infected Mushroom. At about T+1:00 Dimmy and I found ourselves dancing with socks on the living room's hardwood floors (THE best surface to dance on!). He was moving his arms slowly and seemed to be stomping his feet rhythmically, almost like he was around a fire in Africa...a kind of archaic-rave feel. I was doing some sort of free-form salsa...lots of hip moving and stepping and shuffling...

The dancing was ecstatic. It was such a contact high to just move to this amazing music. I felt like every time I gestured in a direction I sent a tiny bit of my soul screaming out into the cosmos of the room. As I sat on the couch, watching the vines on the floral wallpaper seem to grow out from the wall, I felt as if I knew exactly where my soul belonged, and I wanted to communicate so much.

For the next hour or so we decided to sit back outside. The weather was pretty nice, aside from being a little too humid. But the atmosphere was perfect. We were around a medium-sized glass table with flowers and plants everywhere, including one in the center of the table which radiated the most peaceful of energies the entire night.

We smoked cigarettes and talked, really talked, for about an hour. I talked with Dimmy about Judaism and Buddhism and where we both stood on the subject of God. I realized many things about the nature of divinity and the abstract objectivity one must assume when searching for answers to the "big" questions. I had such sympathy, such amazing mental clarity. I had no problem expressing love for Jacklin or talking to the both of them about why and how I had fallen in love. Dimmy and I had recently been spending more time together and I feel like that night somehow made us brothers of some sort. We had shared a venture into the mushroom kingdom, and the whole night there was this unspoken understanding, like we were always on the same page. Finishing sentences and "I was just about to say that." It was great.

Here's where it gets kind of weird.

At about T+2:00 I decided to smoke a bowl of some fairly good quality Cannabis. I knew about its effects potentiating those of Psilocybin, and had never tried. I felt comfortable and safe, so I "took the plunge."

About twenty minutes after my last toke, Jack and Dimmy went inside, and I told them I'd follow in a minute (I was finishing a cigarette). I was sitting with my legs crossed in a chair, and the next thing I remembered was a series of visible questions. Looking back I realized I had broken the barrier between "visuals" and true "visions." There was no porch, there was no plant, no table, no chair, no air, no stars, no cigarette, no crickets chirping...I was completely dissolved from reality.

There was no difference between opening my eyes and closing my eyes, and I soon had to re-learn what those particular organic structures were for. This was omni-sensual, it was above being categorized in any normal manner.

The visible questions were those I found myself asking as I was being propelled through cascading imagery, which to me beckoned with a theme of human endeavors. I saw Mayan patterns and native American art...all with this kind of aboriginal...expanding...can't describe it.

It culminated in an explosion of my being...It was as if someone had sent electricity into my soul - there was the brightest white/green/red light in the "distance" and the LOUDEST organic bloodrush-type humming noise. Like I had a giant conch shell over both ears and the volume turned up to 140dB. It was comforting though, not disturbing...like the inside of a womb. All the while, these white and neon lights are getting closer and closer and closer, like I was rushing the stage of some intergalactic rock and roll laser show. As the lights got closer and the hum got louder, the crescendo was my return into "normal" reality (I was still tripping really hard, but at least now I could see what was in front of me: the chairs, the plants, etc.) I tried to comprehend what had just happened.

I realize now I was being reborn. The questions I was asking weren't "where am I, what is this, am I dreaming"...they were so much more primordial. Word lost meaning, MEANING lost meaning. I had my reality slowly handed back to me. After seven psychedelic sessions with psilocybin, this was the closest I've ever been to true death of the Ego. (If that wasn't it...which if it wasn't...I'm pretty sure I was at the gates.)

I went inside and cooled off...I was sweating my ass off out there when I "came back." Jacklin and I went upstairs, and after making a futile attempt to explain what happened to her, we melted into each other and watched the sun rise.

I don't regret smoking the herb. It pointed my compass in the right direction and replaced the sails on my ship with earthly rocket engines.

Sometimes, with as many answers as you find, you can leave with even more questions. It's good to know that the gateway back into finding more could be growing as close as my nearest cow pasture.

Yeah you were at the gates. You got that right.The only thing left to do is give in at that point and fall back through time and essence and what you are, into what you are. Circular things and cycles seem to be what lies beyond those gates, as per my signature. Infinte patterns, spinning themselves simply to be doing it. Always going just to go. Ahhh the perfect beauty of it all.

Your right, too. The more answers only raise more questions. It also raises your appreciation of the World and the unique things in it. Questions and answers are more intimately connected than many people know. So is remembering and forgetting.

--------------------No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT.