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I interrupt the scheduled posts for an, I need to purge emotions post.

Disclaimer: It’s going to be a raw post I think so if you don’t want to read my feelings, then please just pray for me and stop here, thank you.

Anger.

Its one of the processes of grief that must be dealt with. But I’ve been holding back, clamping down on and stifling it. My anger scares me, I know how bad it can be. To lose control in a way that could hurt someone…to be so mad all you see is red (or black). I’ve only felt that way once in my life, and I’ve managed to keep it at bay since then.

But I can feel it…lurking. Waiting.

It’s tentacles slowing wrapping around my heart, my mind and my mouth. I can feel the emotions rise at the drop of hat, over everyday things. I jump down the throats of those I love.

I wanted to punch my car today. Several times.

I wanted to ram my fist into a wall. Preferably brick so it would hurt more than the pain inside me did.

I just want my oldest son back and my Dad…I miss them so much.

I’m angry they aren’t here.

I’m pissed I have to learn how to live without them.

I mad that I can’t show them J, that we can’t do stuff as a whole family.

Sorry for the random type posts lately! It’s hard to blog/write one handed…I have a lil tag-a-long named Jeremiah! He loves to be held, but doesn’t love the Moby wrap, it doesn’t let him move and wiggle like a worm.

I have missed writing, and have many ideas for posts, but haven’t been able to sit down and write them out!

(Right now, he just woke up screaming! Will put this on hold, be back soon! Wheeeeewww…I laid him down, thinking he was hungry, and he passed out in the bouncer!)

I think the best idea I’ve had, is to budget time to write. Just an hour a day, an hour that Daddy gets to take care of lil J-man for me!!! Woohooo, I’m good!

Okay this is SUCH a randomly weird post, hope your day is going well!!!

Like this:

My house is small, and has very little storage and nothing outside for outside things. So that means…we have things that float around the house with no permanent home. It adds to the clutter and messy look.

Which drives. Me. Nutts.

So, today…after reading a few blogs on organizing and de-cluttering, I was inspired to clean! To toss. To minimize! So here’s today’s tally from the cleaning results:

4 large bags of trash

No picture of this, I tossed them as we filled them!

2 bags to go to Goodwill

Main closet has room for guests coats, shoes and purses

No picture of this either!

Hall closet is now organized and child friendly (medications on upper shelves)

Bathroom organized

Kitchen organized (90%, still have 10% left)

I was thinking that I’m pretty darn smart, to use this tension rod to hold our paper towels, but I’m sure somewhere in the blogosphere, someone has thought of it!

I also need to get some fabric and make a curtain for the bookcase-turned-pantry.

After all of that work, we rested. And then I felt inspired to make something in my newly organized kitchen!

Ta-Da!!!!!!!!!!!!

And a close up one, to make you drool!

I have NO idea what to call these…it’s Pillsbury Crescent rolls, with Andie’s Mints in the middle, rolled in cinnamon sugar and baked. It’s good stuff!!!!

So, that was our day! It’s good to purge, clean and put things in their place.

What do you need to do in your house? How do you get inventive with ways to clean, organize and such??