I think of myself as a logical person who likes to make decisions based on facts and reasoning. Gather facts, list out pros and cons, think about ramifications...these are all ways we prepare to make rational decisions.

You know what? Turns out I'm not always the logic-ruled creature that I like to pretend that I am. And despite her common sense and determination to always make the best decisions, my dear Lisa is sometimes driven by impulses other than reason.

Because we are mostly rational, when one or the other of us made a decision that didn't seem logical, the other would be confused, would question the other, often getting a defensive response. Confusion and hurt feelings were often the result.

It's hard when we want something for non-logical reasons because our culture values reason (and, for us, because we mostly are logical). But those heart-driven desires and choices do happen and they are fine. We just needed another way to deal with them since we didn't like feeling or acting defensively or being on the receiving end of defensiveness.

Our solution is easy. And it is working for us, so of course I want to share it with you. When we want something that we can't defend logically (and as long as the ramifications are not logically disastrous), we simply say three little words: "I prefer it."

Instead of creating a potentially defensive situation or feeling bad because we are driven by something other than logic, now we can laugh about it and understand each other very easily.

In addition to easing potentially tense situations, this realization and practice has opened us up to honoring other ways of knowing and deciding. We are a little more free from the stranglehold of cold logic (please don't make me turn in my Spock card), free to be a little more fully human, embracing all aspects of ourselves.