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TRIBEWORK is about consuming the process of life, the journey, together.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Five Phases of Felt Living

One of the frustrating factors of
life is its rocky nature, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We seem to
endure varying seasons ranging from joy to sorrow, and these ‘seasons’ may vary
in length from months down to minutes.

Our moods, the states of mental
and emotional disposition, can be reflected in five phases:

1. Denial

There are many situations we
approach in disbelief. These are times when we cannot accept the truth; things
may be too raw. Denial is a normal human response of defence.

When we allow ourselves the
experience of denial without getting down on ourselves, later, we experience
less self-condemnation. There is less guilt, also.

2. Anger

Anger is about as normal a human
emotion as any other emotion is. We cannot help feeling angry about certain
things, but we can control the expression
of our anger.

There will be days, even moments
within days, where anger will get the better of us. Again, we’re commended to
resist condemning ourselves. Understanding that anger is a normal response
given many of life’s circumstances is the blessing of God’s grace, and it’s
God’s will that we experience spiritual peace having effected any of the
restitution required.

3. Bargaining

A bit like denial, bargaining is
that state of emotion which cannot quite accept the truth yet. Sometimes we
want to negotiate the non-negotiable. God’s grace is often gentle in this way
in that the situation doesn’t give us our way, but we’re not chastised point
blank. We’re allowed to come to terms with the truth in our own time.

When we resolve that circumstances
cannot be renegotiated, it’s common we experience even a moment’s depression.

4. Depression

This phase of depression is not
depression per se, as in a bout of clinical depression.

This phase of depression is simply
about our felt emotional response when we first confront the truth. When we can
no longer hide, and we experience truth’s brunt front-on, it’s no surprise we
hit a rock bottom point.

Events of depression involve us emotionally
to the point of courage as we wrangle with the truth. To be depressed is to be
in a state of courageousness.

The reality is we experience
depressed moments many times daily; our joyous days may simply ride over these
little bumps.

5. Acceptance

Everyone loves moments of
acceptance—where we’re perfectly happy in our thinking and feeling. Parts of
most days are seasoned in acceptance. No matter how hard life is we do
experience moments of wellbeing, even on some of the worst days.

***

These five phases of living reflect
the stages of grief, because, when we think about it, life is one long journey
requiring constant adjustment. No day is perfectly joyous or absolutely lamentable—not
when we think about.

When we accept that life will
change, and many times unpredictably, we can begin to approach such changes
with a mature optimism. We stay more in the phase of acceptance. But accepting
the other more negative phases is also part of maturity.