Taylor skipped the interview for her British Vogue cover and decided to write a poem instead because life can be hard and sanity seems to be a pretty good goal.

The Trick to Holding On

Let go of the ones who hurt you
Let go of the ones you outgrow
Let go of the words they hurl your way
as you’re walking out the door
The only thing cut and dry
In this hedge-maze life
Is the fact that their words will cut
but your tears will dry

They don’t tell you this when you are young
You can’t hold on to everything
Can’t show up for everyone
You pick your poison
Or your cure
Phone numbers you know by heart
And the ones you don’t answer any more

Hold on to the faint recognition in
the eye of a stranger
As it catches you in its lustrous net
How quickly we become intertwined
How wonderful it is to forgetAll the times your intuition failed you But it hasn’t killed you yet
Hold on to childlike whims and moonlight
swims and your blazing self-respect

And if you drive the roads of this town
Ones you’ve gone down so many times before
Flashback to all the times
Life nearly ran you off the road
But tonight your hand is steady
Suddenly you’ll know
The trick to holding on
Was all that letting go

So rumor has it, MTV gave Kanye West license to do whatever he wanted with his 4 minutes onstage last night. And in typical ‘Ye style, he used it to make what was supposed to be an inspirational speech.

Exceeeeeeeept… something got lost in translation. While Kanye started to tell a few stories, or seemed to have a good point to make, he never actually completed those thoughts. He seems to be referencing his Famous video – although he never tells us that’s what he’s doing – and his ill-fated call to Taylor Swift.

I am Kanye West, and that feels especially great to say this year. I came here to present my new video, but before I do that, I’mma talk. Now, later tonight, ‘Famous’ might lose to Beyoncé, but I can’t be mad. I’m always wishing for Beyoncé to win, so.

But for people to understand just how blessed we are… It was an expression of our now, our fame right now, us on the inside of the TV. You know, just to put… the audacity to put Anna Wintour right next to Donald Drumpf. I mean, like, I put Ray J in it, bro. This is fame, bro! Like, I see you Amber. My wife is a G. Not a lot of peoples’ wives would let them say that right there. We came over in the same boat. Now we all in the same bed. Well, maybe different boats, but uh.

But if you think about last week, there were 22 people murdered in Chicago. You know, like, people come up to me like, ‘Yeah, that’s right! Take Taylor!’ But bro, like, I love all y’all. That’s why I called her.

So I was speaking at the Art Institute last year, and a kid came up to me and said ‘Three of my friends died, and I don’t know if I’m gonna be the next.’ And it has to, you know you have to think, like, when you’re a senior and it’s the last month and you just don’t feel like doing any more work. If you feel like you seeing people dying right next to you, you might feel like, what’s the point? You know like life could be like, starting to feel worthless in a way. I know times for me, I sit down and talk to older, like, like, rich people. You know, a.k.a. white, you know. And they tell me, ‘Don’t compare yourself to Steve Jobs. Don’t compare yourself to Walt Disney,’ and my friend Zekiah[sp?] told me… they tell me, ‘Don’t compare yourself to these people, right.’ My friend Zekiah[sp?] told me there’s three keys to keeping people impoverished: that’s taking away their esteem, taking away their resources, and taking away their role models. My role models are artists, merchants. There’s less than ten that I can name in history. Truman. Ford. Hughes. Disney. Jobs. West.

Bro. Bro! Tonight, we here to have fun. I’m standing in front of my idol, Puff Daddy. I’m standing in front of my wife, Kim Kardashian West. I’m standing in front of the future: Chance the Rapper, 2 Chainz, Jaden Smith. Bro, we are undeniably the influence, the thought leaders. I’m gonna play y’all a piece of my art, and I just hope y’all have a good time. Play that.

Honestly, I see what he’s going for here – especially when he starts to tell the story about the kids in Chicago – but he keeps getting lost along the way. I’m sure this was an amazing speech in his head, but if he really wants to inspire us, he needs to give us complete thoughts, not just an outline.

Of course, right after that he premiered the new video for Fade, which basically wiped all of our memories anyway.

According to MTV, the groom is the ‘Swiftie’ in this situation. Max Singer’s sister had reached out to Taylor, telling her how their mom passed away recently, how Max danced with his mom to “Blank Space” in her hospital room and asked if Taylor would come to the wedding.

Ah, the Met Gala. Your favorite stars hold back their weirdness all year in preparation for this one event, the annual fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in New York. Previous years brought us Rihanna‘s crazy yellow fur trimmed blanket, Kim Kardashian’s wallpaper dress, and Solange’s… what was that thing she wore last year?

This year’s theme was “Manus vs. Machina” and you know what that means… robots. Kind of.

Unfortunately, this Tamagotchi was the closest thing Katy Perry could find to a robot.

Although it’s not cool to use a celebrity image especially for a handsy service, I actually feel kinda sorry for Magic Touch…anyone oblivious enough to use a celebrity image for a business probably doesn’t realize the legal wrath of Taylor’s legal squad.

Kendrick Lamar could sweep The 2016 Grammys thanks to 11 nominations! Taylor Swift and The Weeknd have 7 nods each (not too shabby). I’m pullin’ for Kendrick and The Weeknd…I think we can agree Taylor has enough.

However I’ll be watching on February 15th for one category and only one.