Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Boy: Baby are you jealous?
gf : No.
Boy: Baby are you jealous?
gf : No.
Boy: Baby are you jealous?
gf : I already told you, No!
Boy: Baby can I get a kiss?
gf : GO GET A KISS FROM THAT UGLY GIRL THAT LIKED YOUR STATUS ON FACEBOOK!
:p

Friday, July 22, 2011

Arab newlyweds went on a vacation to London. One day in the hotel room, the husband heard his wife scream, "Far! Faaaarrrr!" (which is the Arabic word for "mouse"). He wanted to inform Room Service but did not know what the English word for "faar" is. He called:-
Husband: Hello, room service?!
Room service : Yes sir, how can I help you??
Husband: Mmmm... Yaani you knows Tom & Jerry?
Room service: :s ..Yes, sir, I know Tom & Jerry.
Husband: Jerry is here :D

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

& asks "what's the easiest exercise I can do to help me lose weight?" He replies "shake your head from side to side." He asks "how often should I do this?"
Doctor says...
"Every time you're offered food!"‬

A Lady Lawyer decided to give herself a big treat for her birthday by staying overnight in one of London's most expensive hotels.When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00.

She explode and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."

The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."
'But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"

The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is only made out for £50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."=)).... U won't win against a lawyer. And u definitely won't win against a woman!