Beta Theta Pi At University Of Florida Put On Probation For Making Pledges Babysit Watermelon Named “Walter”

Beta Theta Pi at the University of Florida was put on probation Wednesday after an investigation into an anonymous email sent to the Dean of Students Office found “practices of concern” regarding the chapter’s new member education process.

The email addresses the organizations practices between Fall 2015 to Spring 2016 in which pledges were assigned to watch a watermelon cunningly named “Walter” for several hours at a time. If Walter was left unattended he would be smashed by brothers and a ceremonial vigil would be held in the fruit’s honor.

[Dean of students Jen Day] Shaw said forcing students to stay awake could negatively impact their health and academic performance.

“You do not deserve to be hazed,” she said. “We don’t tolerate that at UF.”

Hey Jen, you ever go to a place called middle school? Pretty sure state paid teachers do this all the time with eggs. Ms. Greenwell draws a face on a cage-free Land O’Lakes and hands it to little Timmy and Mary to look after for two weeks it’s teaching them responsibility, teamwork, and an extremely realistic representation of parenting. But make it a watermelon and throw some greek letters on the situation and suddenly it’s hazing? That’s not right.

Sorry Beta was just trying to build better men by making them into better fathers. You think they’ll get even a second of sleep when they sire a baby? Absolutely not. Babies are attention whores who need to be coddled around the clock. But with this type of preparation, those pledges will be ready to be damn good dads down the line. Does the University of Florida really have problems and concerns for the new members’ well-being or is this more about a bigger picture issue like multiple dudes raising a child? Kinda sounding like the latter.

It’s 2016, Florida. Maybe stop being so closed minded and join the rest of society..

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Dan Regester@Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer, Podcast Host, and Video Guy for Grandex Media. He's Delco trash to the core and a UCF cinema studies graduate because he never got around to applying to an actual film school. Dan is a gambling man, crypto investor, and procrastinator. He enjoys long walks to the water fountain between bench press sets and is not a fan of the homeless, the elderly, or the Phoenix Airport. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

It was mentioned below that you should making the high school baby sitting an egg argument. I think that will actually help y’all out a lot. If the federal and state governments allow it with kids that aren’t even of a legal age yet then why can’t fraternities do it.

This is simply evidence that this person has no real world experience. There are many jobs that you are expected to remain awake and perform your assigned task, like maybe a doctor or say a soldier. I doubt she could handle 1 day in Marine boot camp, or one shift as a resident in a level 1 trauma center.