About Jason Thibeault

Hi! I'm a tech guy, skeptic, feminist, gamer and atheist, and love OSS and science of all stripes. I enjoy a good bit of whargarbl now and again, and will occasionally even seek it out. I am also apparently responsible for the death of common sense on the internet. My bad.

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Petition to Chick-Fil-A: Stop serving cocks who like cock!

Chick-fil-A has a long history of supporting anti-gay organizations. Now their Chief Operating Officer (and founder’s son) Dan Cathy has said, “I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage’. I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”

But the harsh fact that Chick-fil-A ignores is that, as early as 1764, male chickens have been observed sexually mounting other cocks. How can Chick-fil-A claim to be truly committed to their selective and hateful misreading of the Biblical definition of marriage when the nearly 300 million sandwiches they sell yearly contain chickens, some or all of which might be gay?

Tell Chick-fil-A to put their money where their mouth is and only sell animals that are 100% heterosexual. (That rules out beef, too. Raccoon? Oops! There are homosexual raccoons, too. Er… maybe they can eat crow?)

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About the author

Hi! I'm a tech guy, skeptic, feminist, gamer and atheist, and love OSS and science of all stripes. I enjoy a good bit of whargarbl now and again, and will occasionally even seek it out. I am also apparently responsible for the death of common sense on the internet. My bad.

I have opinions. So do you. You want to share them with me. I would like to do likewise. Please don't expect a platform for proselytizing that will go unchecked and unchallenged, though. Contact me via the clicky thingies under my banner.

The commenting rules are simple: don't piss me off. This rule has worked for me for a decade; I have never found a need for any other rule, because any other rules leads to rules-lawyering. Just remember -- this is my property, not yours.

Yeah, except that most male “meat breed” chicks wind up in an industrial shredder and not out in the chicken house. Male chickens grow up into roosters, which aren’t that great for meat unless they’re castrated, at which point they’re capon and sell as a specialty item. Unless this is done, they’re an expensive waste of effort to the farmer, especially one who would grow on the scale required to supply Chick-fil-A.

I highly doubt a fast food restaurant chain of Chick-fil-A’s size is serving capon to its customers. That means that it is most likely that all the meat they are serving comes from female chickens.

Cute idea? Kinda. But the person who wrote it up has no clue about commercial meat chicken production.

N. Nescio, I think they’re aiming at a by-species rather than by-specimen basis for the ban. Look here:

Tell Chick-fil-A to put their money where their mouth is and only sell animals that are 100% heterosexual. (That rules out beef, too. Raccoon? Oops! There are homosexual raccoons, too. Er… maybe they can eat crow?)

That seems like an unreasonable demand frankly, after all they sell to a species that isn’t 100% heterosexual. It’d be better to demand orientation testing on each and every chicken so it can be stamped with a “totally not gay, promise” seal so bigots can be assured of not catching teh ghey in their food. Also because it’d take fuckloads more time and money to set up such a system, it’d be woefully inaccurate and we could all have a laugh at them being idiots for doing it.

I have realized that the petition needs to be broadened to address issues with the content of their nuggets and strips. I would like assurances from Chick-fil-a that the pressed/formed meat in their products contain no actual cock cocks.

To clarify any processed meat from male chickens should be identified so that I am not at risk of eating chicken cock (I’m a dude). Additionally all processed meat from female chickens should be identified so women will not be forced to eat chicken vagina.

Think of the children!!

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