Well, I’ll be darned. That’s terrible hip hop handle. Sounds like Fozzy Bear’s hip hop handle. Your host is Mike Epps, and a special award will be given tonight to Salt ‘N’ Pepa. If the award isn’t a golden pair of shakers, I’ll be sorely disappointed. ANTICIPATION: SHOOP SHOOPY DOOP!

GLEE – 8:00PM (FOX) If hip hop isn’t your thing, by all means tune into this show for some of the whitest music you’ll ever hear. Tonight special duets episode features renditions of “Get Happy” and “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” But no covers of Will to Power? For shame, Gleeks. For shame. ANTICIPATION: WHITE!

NICK SWARDSON’S PRETEND TIME – 10:00PM (Comedy Central) The very funny Nick Swardson is the latest addition to Comedy Central’s roster of sketch comedy hosts. I’m hoping very much that his show is more Chappelle than Mencia, if you get my drift. Tonight’s premiere features a sketch about Lady Gaga’s brother, which is already funny. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!

PRIVATE CHEFS OF BEVERLY HILLS – 9:00PM (Food Network) The season premiere tonight has the chefs catering for the unveiling of Lorenzo Lamas’ new motorcycle. And my brain just exploded from typing that sentence. Lorenzo Lamas can afford catering? Lorenzo Lamas can afford a motorcycle? Who has a motorcycle unveiling? Will he christen it and smash a bottle of champagne against it? I’m just floored by all of it. ANTICIPATION: LAMAS!

DETROIT 187 – 10:00PM (ABC) Xzibit guest stars. YO DAWG WE HEARD YOU LIKE HIP HOP STARS SO WE PUT HIP HOP STARS IN YO URBAN COP DRAMA SO YOU CAN GET SOME HIP HOP WHILE YOU WATCH DEM COPS. ANTICIPATION: PIMPED!

Published at 10:33 AM EDT on Oct 12, 2010 | Updated at 2:39 PM EDT on May 30, 2012