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The Sunday Series: (64), In Memoriam

I never met Debbie Fink Green in person, not in the face-to-face physical sense, but we spoke on the phone on two different occasions for more than three hours.

In fact, that is how 99% of these Sunday Series interviews happen: a referral, a phone call, an interview and then the unbelievable trust these people give me to share their story with the world. The connections created when you ask questions, truly listen, and dive down deep into someone’s mind, heart and soul and then write their story as a permanent marker on this journey – theirs and mine – creates a connection which in some respects defies explanation. You instantly earn respect for their journey, whether it be one of challenge, or triumph. I am eternally grateful for each person who has the courage to share, because everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (64): In Memoriam

In life there are no guarantees. The only fact is to expect the unexpected, or to know that even in battle, no matter how hard you fight, no matter how tough your resolve and your resiliency, sometimes there on the front lines, your journey comes to an end.

This past week the battle got the best of Debbie Fink Green. The cancer beast claimed another victim and the world lost a good one, at least in her physical presence on this earth. But her story, her spirit, the lives she touched and her inspiration is immortal. That’s when you know you have lived a life of significance.

You need only view the story links posted at the bottom of this blog as evidence of what Debbie brought to the world and of her indomitable spirit in the face of tremendous adversity to give it all she had to battle against appendiceal cancer. Her step-mom Becky Fink and her cousin Rich Polt, first brought Debbie’s story to my attention. As it turned out in the community in which I live and the people with whom I know, Debbie and I share many, many connections.

Debbie’s posts have been the most widely viewed of any Sunday Series written on this blog. It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with her tremendous support system and evidence of the lives she touched and those who felt compelled to share in her journey, and to offer words of encouragement and messages of hope.

The very first Sunday Series about Debbie and her battle was in the beginning of 2014, and back then it was all about the fight:

The challenge Debbie is facing puts life in perspective for all of us. We all face challenges. If there isn’t a road bump, or obstacle in your journey through this life you probably aren’t really living. But some road blocks are bigger than others, they try to take you down for the count. That’s when you show what you are really made of. How do you rise up and fight? How do you show what you are willing to live for? Debbie Fink is facing the challenge head on, by choosing to sacrifice to save her life. The outcome is not in her hands, perhaps not really in the hands of the doctors and surgeons, though they will do all they can to get this right, and to prolong Debbie’s days on this earth. Maybe there could even be another miracle on the horizon…cancer-free. But like Debbie says she has learned you can’t focus on what you can’t control. Cancer, any type of cancer has its own agenda, its own plan, and the focus needs to be on how you will react, not on the outcome.

This week the “outcome” was not what anyone wanted, but the fighter left her mark on the world. You need only go onto social media, especially on Facebook, to read the comments, the outpouring of love and the testament to the life Debbie lived. Life is about love and the lives you touch. Do it right and many will remember, as her sister Jessica said in a Facebook message to me just yesterday: “She was truly an inspiration to so many people.”

Debbie inspired others by showing how she cared. She offered to share her fear and vulnerability, so others knew they were not alone in their own struggles and challenges. She shared her triumphs and in death, we all share her loss, but we are left to remember the indelible mark she left on the world because of the way she lived it, with grace and with courage.

Here now the links to the two Sunday Series and another post focused on Debbie Fink Green:

(From Debbie’s husband Dave: “As Camp Saginaw was where it all started for me and Sal (Debbie), please consider making a donation to the Herb Cohen Memorial Fund in lieu of flowers.” Info here: bit.ly/19M7Fuq)

Comments

For more information on the rare cancer that sadly took Debbie’s life please visit http://www.pseudomyxomasurvivor.org
Help us to raise awareness of this terrible rare cancer.
I am a fellow pmp patient and was blessed to meet Debbie in person last year…

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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