So I originally posted this to r/confession a couple nights ago, and thought here might also appreciate the story. Obligatory: this fuck up did not happen today, but nearer to two years ago.

As a disclaimer: this is my first Reddit post and on mobile so apologise for formatting yada-yada-yada.

So this happened about 18 months ago, or somewhere in the vicinity of 18-20 months. I still get flak from this from both family and friends.

So, the setting: my uncle’s wedding. It’s around Autumn and my uncle by my mothers side, from an exceptionally large family (this is relevant), is getting married for the second time. Now my family is very large. My mother has 3 brothers and 5 sisters. All with children of their own, and some even with children of their own now.

The wedding isn’t what I would describe as large, pretty much encompassing just family and close friends. All in all, there can’t have been more than 50 or 60 people there, and around 60% (at a rough estimate) or so are related by blood to me. They make up the majority is what I’m trying to say, and many are spread over whom I have only briefly met, or in some cases, never met. Well, you can see where this is going.

For reference, I would be around mid 17 in this story, with the age of consent in my country (UK) being 16. The girl, who we shall call Isla, was 22 or 23.

Well, at the reception, I am having a good time with my sister, parents and cousins. Dancing, heavily indulging in drinking etc. Just generally enjoying myself as it is rare for large family gatherings for us for obvious reasons.

A girl I don’t recognise begins to dance with me on the (very crowded) dance-floor. She’s older than me clearly, but I thought maybe 19 or 20. Anyway, we start dancing, touching etc. She twerks on me a little, I grind a bit and I presume nobody noticed due to accumulated intoxication and crowdedness around where we were. One things leads to another, we start kissing and she asks me if I want to go ‘upstairs’, which I correctly take to mean her room in the hotel (it was a hotel wedding).

I, of course, being a hormonal teenage boy (still am), jump at the opportunity and say yes. I should say this wasn’t my first time or anything and by this point I carried condoms around in my wallet when I went out and knew I would be drinking.

So we proceed to discreetly (or so I think) take our leave. Both drunk, obviously, but not to the point of not being in control of our actions, or stumbling around/blackout etc. I get to her room, a bit of excited talk, and clothes come off. All is going well. Now, I should say that all this time I’m assuming this girl is a relative (or perhaps friend?) of the bride. Oh boy. I was in for a shock. Because, as it turns out, she thought the same of me.

As we were ‘cleaning up’, so to speak, we begin a little small-talk when before had mostly just been purely sexual. She eventually asks how I know the bride (let us call her Emma). I stop. Thunderstruck. The realisation slowly creeping up on me and oh, the horror. I laugh it off (hoping, in vain) she is joking and state I am the son of (insert mothers name). The shock is palpable on who I then realised as my cousins face as she was putting her bra back on. She sort of freaks out and says she’s the estranged daughter of one of my uncles who’s had a troubled life, whom she had very recently reconnected with (I did not know this). We essentially collectively let out a ‘fuckkkkk’.

From there we got dressed quickly and decided to never reveal this major cock-up to a soul and hope to God we had not been noticed (alas). We decided it would be best if she were to leave first, and that I would follow around 5-10 minutes later.

Well I do. She leaves first, and I just kind of stand around in the hallway on my phone freaking out for a short while until I decide enough time has passed to erode suspicion.

Well, first thing I see when I get down is the look of pure disappointment on my mothers face, the stupid fucking grin on my fathers and half my cousins faces and my sister looking in disgust, as though she was watching a particularly repulsive sea-slug. One of my cousins whom I am close to pats me on the back, shaking his head and laughing his absolute head off. I know I am defeated then and quietly take a seat expecting the utter bollocking I will later receive from my family. My elderly 90 year old grandmother was there for fucks sake. And word was not quiet. I didn’t see Isla or her father again that reception and later found out she told him and he took her home, not to the hotel she had booked, by way of taxi.

So yeah. I accidentally took part in (protected, thank-God) incest. It is brought up at every, and I mean every, family-gathering. A couple of my cousins have taken to playing ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ and asking when the next date is whenever I enter the room.

After (soberly) explaining to my parents it was an accident and I fully believed she was not a relative (like they should have questioned it) they were okay-ish with it, but still disappointed and annoyed a little. My father asked me how I’d failed to notice Isla (apparently) sat literally the row behind us, and I had no answer. Gotta work on my observation skills I guess. Not only do my family still tease me, but my friends found out from my sister within days and I’ve been relentlessly teased by them at most social gatherings since. You can imagine how many cousin/incest/alabama jokes daily.

I am ashamed to this day. Even more so because she is an objectively attractive woman. As one might imagine, the limited interactions we’ve had since have been extremely strained and awkward, not helped by my dickhead cousins. There is another big family wedding coming up this summer, and since the announcement ‘the incident’ as it’s come to be known as has been all that’s been discussed within my hearing.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed that rollercoaster. If you have any questions feel free, and once again, do forgive the surely egregious formatting as I am just popping my Reddit virginity with this story, which I’ve been encouraged to (anonymously) post online by friends so as to make you all laugh as much as them.

TL;DR I had sex with my uncles estranged daughter at a family wedding my first time meeting her. Everybody in the (large family) knew then, and now, and will never let me live this down.

Edit: thank you all very much for the outpouring of engagement with this post. I will try get through the comments over the duration of the day. Also thank you for my first silver and gold kind stranger! Glad I could give you a chuckle.

Edit: thank you all very much for the outpouring of engagement with this post. I will try get through the comments over the duration of the day. Also thank you for my first silver kind stranger! Glad I could give you a chuckle.

Only way you'll get the teasing to stop is to assert dominance. Next time relatives start teasing, say that you'll fuck them next. Also you can say you wish to keep the bloodline pure. Fucking filthy mudbloods smh.

Only way you'll get the teasing to stop is to assert dominance. Next time relatives start teasing, say that you'll fuck them next. Also you can say you wish to keep the bloodline pure. Fucking mudbloods smh.

i've run across the opposite as well. met her through common friends (good buddy of mine), she stays at my place for a few days.
buddy teases me, i confess nothing happened, and he smugly smiles at me with "i know".
ffs

Your pops kept it a secret for almost two decades, even from his wife, when he was a total noob at the game and clueless about politics, he kept the kid on the biggest piece on the board, all the way to the headsman

To be fair, I'm glad she told him, so our boy Egg Snow can get a horse in this race but still

The more fucked up thing is during the drinking game when Brienne says Tyrion was married before
And Jaime's like
Haaaaah, gotcha bro! Gotta drink! Lawls!

..even though he lied to him saying Tysha was a whore and never told him she was actually an innocent crofters daughter, after all those years, leading to her rape and banishment
Kiiind of a dick move to goof him about that
(Jaime does in the books, during his breakout before killing Tywin, and it totally burns their bridges leading to tyrions infamous she's fucking lancel and osmund kettleback and moon boy for all I know line)

Because the show has forgotten that she even existed. This is a very important character trait for tyrion in the books. Like, very important. But in the show, to make it easier to casual viewers to not be confused, they moved all of that story to Shay, which made no fucking sense and only made tyrion look stupid, again.

I'm pretty certain that the Alabama incest thing is just a meme. Like I'm a Michigan guy and while we joke about Alabama, we know that Mississippi is the real incest capital of the states. Heck, I'm pretty sure they referenced that idea in a Hitman game once.

It’s not really shitting on Alabama, so much as it’s using a meme that gets posted every time Alabama or incest is mentioned (mostly by Americans, I might add). Blame the prominence of Americans on the internet for the Alabama=incest joke; it’s your own people’s fault!

There are loads of regions over here that are the butt of incest jokes, the one that really comes to mind is Norfolk (lots of webbed finger jokes), but of course the prominence of Americans on the internet means that no-one really jokes about Norfolk (As most people don’t even know what it is), but Alabama instead. I have seen some jokes directed at the massively inbred Habsburg dynasty though, so there’s that. But yeah, I agree that parts of England are very inbred, it’s a shame there aren’t more jokes about it on reddit.

I guess the one thing I'd add that people should think of when they think about Alabama is southern comfort food. I've eaten really well every time I've been there. Few places in the country have better BBQ, fried chicken, crawfish, shrimp 'n' grits... Now I'm hungry

That’s more the fact I have a very self-deprecating sense of humour. In the same breath as ‘I accidentally nutted in cousin’ I’ll tell you she’s a 10/10. Doesn’t mean I’m proud of it. It is what it is, and I have to try make light of it.

As my mother always says, you either laugh or cry over the mess, and laughing hurts less. XD

Honestly cousin relationships don’t bother me anywhere as much as most people... well, when they are relatively distant cousins I mean. When I was around 5 years old, one of my family members married and since I was the youngest of the family then, I was picked to be a flower girl at the wedding. My aunts didn’t think that was cute enough, though, and decided I should play a little bride with the other youngest kid in the family, my cousin Diego, and walk in front of the marrying couple.

They thought we looked too cute as bride and groom without even considering incestuous implications, after all we were just kids. However my little 5 year old self legit thought I was really getting married. Every time I asked my parents and aunts if Diego was really going to be my husband they would laugh and say things like “of course, sweetie! You two make the cutest couple!” Jokingly... but I was a fucking kid and didn’t understand humor. It didn’t help that they kept joking about me having a husband in family gatherings from then, then laughed at my cuteness whenever I went along in dead seriousness. I think they eventually realized “... oh shit she actually thinks they really married” when I was 8 and chasing poor Diego around, calling him my husband... so they finally tried to break it down to me that it wasn’t a real marriage. Still, believing that for so long with my family actually encouraging it all the time made me really unfazed by the idea of cousins getting together as something incestuous. I find it hilarious that my own parents and family actually are to blame for being a bad influence on this XD.

I actually went to a friend's family reunion. I had just met the guy a couple months back and we were chilling so he asked if I wanted to help his family and I said sure.

Long story short, I met one of his cousins there and we started talking. We didn't hook up or anything, but I found out a few days later that somehow we're related. Third cousins, I think. She later broke it off that day for other reasons and I hadn't even told her that yet.

Yeah, came here to say that I guarantee everyone in this thread is the descendant of first cousins being married and having kids. Not saying it’s right, but an accidental shag with your cousin shouldn’t be held over you forever. It’s grounds for teasing but I can see where it’s gonna get old real fast.

Unfortunately she was (is) a stunner and my type in every way, even looking like about 80% of my past relationships and hook-ups. Not up for that Alabama shit though. Can assure you, I didn’t fucking know.

Ok dude, enough of the Alabama references. In a lot of places, including Canada you can marry a first cousin because there's enough genetic distance that it isn't considered incest and there is little risk of genetic problems with offspring. Up until a while ago it was actually not that uncommon because people didn't want outsiders getting a piece of the family fortune. On top of that... Einstein married his first cousin. He ain't no country bumpkin.

None of that is to say there isn't a taboo, but it's really not as bad as everyone is making it out to be. Go find that thread from last week where two people were soulmates and found out when their parents met that they were cousins - the entire comment section is pretty supportive.

Estranged, somewhat distant relative, attractive, your type... what exactly is the big deal here? Sounds like both of you are or were interested in continuing and why not?

Sure, it's not that common these days but people in the UK used to marry cousins all the time. It was extremely usual within the nobility. Queen Victoria married her cousin. Our current queen is related to her husband. If it's good enough for them...

In all seriousness though, the odds of serious difficulties are pretty low. 1st cousin marriage is only very recently made taboo, within the last century or so, and is still common in lots of the world. So long as it's an exception, and hasn't been the expected outcome for more than a few generations, it isn't really an issue. Statistically, 3rd cousins are probably more genetically diverse than random strangers.

Its not legal in Scotland so lets hope OP isnt from the better part of the UK
EDIT - Ive found out it is legal but the law doesnt really make alot of sense as to who you can and cant marry, legal or not, its still weird

There really isn't that much of a higher chance of cousin couples having a baby with some sort of defect, compared to non cousin couples. I believe the difference is a couple percent...
The odds do however change if the cousin couple themselves are the results of cousin relations, or if both are carriers of a genetic disorder.

Yea, cousin’s is usually fine, I think even siblings can get away with it if it’s a single generation (as in, genetically). Don’t fuck immediate family, but once you get to cousins or further, people are definitely making it a bigger deal than it is

If you go to a family event where a majority of the people there are somehow related to you and you bang a chick without talking to her first, then dont be shocked if she turns out to be related to you. If someone being a distant relative or whatever is enough to make you stop having sex with her, then it's pretty reasonable to ask at some point before having sex.

Honestly it’s really not a big deal, it’s one of those stupid social stigmas. You share like 12% of the same DNA, the odds of having children with birth defects increased by that level of relation are 0-4% .

Agree. If you didn’t grow up together (which would affect base attraction) or even knew of each other as children, and are merely cousins, I don’t see much wrong with (safely) hooking up. You’re strangers that happen to share some DNA, that’s literally it.

Bear in mind this isn't entirely about you, teasing is one thing, and given your attitude here, I have no worries about your mental health, but if she's distraught over it, you might do well to shut them up for her sake

All that said, "it's a dick, not a joke, *pause* hmmmm, actually it's both" :p

It may be frowned upon, particularly in religious families, and may even be illegal in some countries (I’m not that familiar with UK laws), but even if that sex did lead to a child, the chances of that child having genetic defects due to “in-breeding” are actually incredibly low, like 3 or 4 percent in most populations.

Lastly, if your family is religious, particularly Christian, let them know that Adam & Eve’s children mated with each other, and their children mated with each other, and then the next generation had cousins mating, and so on and so forth. And then it all repeated after the flood with Noah’s family. So... they can’t look too negatively on it, some of the most “God-fearing” people in the Bible mated with immediate relatives.

That side of my family is Catholic in theory, but agnostic/atheist in practise. Of them all, perhaps only my grandmother is still practising. The U.K. is not a heavily revisions country in the slightest, and we certainly don’t have many fundamentalist bible bashers.

My family also doesn't let shit go. And none of us have ever made a mistake that big, but I can only imagine the abuse every holiday. At some point i'd probably just own and say I plan to marry that woman just to see the horror on their faces.

Don't worry about it man. First of all, that shit is hilarious. Second, genetics shared by cousins is not as big of a deal when merged together as people tend to think. Siblings, yes. Not good. Cousins, no big deal. Look it up!

Hold up so u tellin me she blabbered it to everyone? Or did ppl find out in a different way? And also SHE invited U upstairs! Is she gettin any heat in this too? Or has she gotten some pass from everybody? Cuz it takes 2 to tango and she was the one leading the tango here.

Apparently the recently rejoined father-daughter relationship of a father and estranged daughter was strong enough for her to tell her father that she just fucked her cousin, you know, the normal chat you have with your father when he asks where you went. Maybe someone heard it or they, for some reason, told it forward.

I think this is my favourite bit. He was just cueing up about ten thousand jokes in his mind. You literally will never hear the end of this from him.

The good news is that it isn't actually illegal to shag your cousin in the UK. So, y'know, there's that. But you will never live this down. Now look, I'm gay, and I fancied my cousin when I was a teenager - she's half Swedish ffs - and I thought I kept it under the radar until my aunt made a joke about it at dinner about 20 years later and everyone laughed. And that was just me fancying her a bit, which was ridiculous enough. You? Mate. You're going down. And not just on her. I love this.

Eh, whether cousin-fucking is actually incest is a longstanding human debate. I'm an ESL teacher in the US. As I was innocently teaching the word for "father-in-law" one day, an Iraqi student nonchalantly said he calls his FIL "uncle". A European student freaked the heck out yelling about "is that legal in Iraq?"

You can imagine her horror when I said that it's also legal in many US states, we just stopped doing it because of the birth defects. I think she wanted to up sticks and move home that instant.

Eh, whether cousin-fucking is actually insect is a longstanding human debate. I'm an ESL teacher in the US. As I was innocently teaching the word for "father-in-law" one day, an Iraqi student nonchalantly said he calls his FIL "uncle". A European student freaked the heck out yelling about "is that legal in Iraq?"

I don't think the FIl of this iraqi student is actually his uncle (but yeah it's legal to marry cousins in the middle east and it's fairly common). We (lebanese and probably other arab neighbors) nationalities refer to older people by "aunt" and "uncle" instead of "madam" and "sir". I call the mum of my friend "aunt". I call my driver "uncle". I call the husband of my cousin "uncle".

I don't think the FIl of this iraqi student is actually his uncle (but yeah it's legal to marry cousins in the middle east and it's fairly common). We (lebanese and probably other arabe neighbouring) nationalities refer to older people by "aunt" and "uncle" instead of "madam" and "sir". I call the mum of my friend "aunt". I call my driver "uncle". I call the husband of my cousin "uncle".

Care to elaborate? I’ve never heard of this, and my wallet has been the primary place I’ve kept condoms for the past 3 years. It’s worth noting I go out quite a lot as a student, so use my fair share too.

You should store condoms in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight, perhaps in a drawer or closet. If you want to keep one with you, put it in a loose pocket, wallet, or purse for no more than a few hours at a time.

Heat, friction and solvents / greases are bad for latex. There are also polyurethane condoms out there, but I have no idea what the issues with those might be. But your pockets and wallet provide both heat and friction and maybe sharp objects into contact, so you should not keep them there. Loose pockets or a hard box / small bag inside your bag should be OK.

It is also worth noting that when it is really important that the female partner does not get pregnant (e.g. in clinical trials) they usually demand that partners use two highly effective contraception methods (e.g. pills and condoms or vasectomy and condoms). Just in case you need to know.

Someone starts humming sweet home Alabama? Say they're out of tune and that "Tuesday's gone" is a better track. They give you shit for pulling your cousin? Say you've got so much game, at 17 you can get a 22 year old stranger in the sack with one dance.

Honestly for all the stick you get, keep in mind she's gonna be feeling like crap at this wedding too. It's GONNA get brought up so make sure your male cousins know that they can give YOU shit but if they make her night difficult, you'll break their legs (you'd be surprised how a threat like that out the blue can make people think twice)

Honestly for all the stick you get, keep in mind she's gonna be feeling like crap at this wedding too. It's GONNA get brought up so make sure your male cousins know that they can give your shit but if they make her night difficult, you'll break their legs (you'd be surprised how a threat like that out the blue can make people think twice)

It’s slightly murky for me too. What I’ve been told and must imagine happened is that we were not as discreet as we thought on the dance floor, and in no way discreet whatsoever when taking our half hour plus exit. Also she was pretty shaken up about it so I suppose when she went down and was (presumably questioned) she fessed up, leading to everybody knowing and practically waiting for me to come down.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only dude who doesn't like twerking. I mean, sure, if a girl does it on me and I find said girl attractive I'll probably get hella into it in that moment but the word itself and how some people look while doing it, it's just weird looking a lot of the time.

I got one about like this ours wasn't at family wedding though. Ours was at Family Reunion. I was 16ish maybe younger I would say 15ish at the youngest. Mine was a second cousin. We was at marilla park in streator IL I give 2 shits this isnt a throw away. We always have these reunions that stretch over the weekend entire weekend. So we having fun I see this drop dead hotty. I figured it was a friend of the family there are always friends of the family there. We start talking shooting the shit. Was about hour before reunion was over for the first day. At this park there are mini trails to walk on. She asked if I wanted to go on a walk said sure. We walked for about 15 minutes to max 30 minutes. We holding hands this was in the 90s we did these things for you young people. We get up ahead and she asked you wanna have sex I was like sure so we did the deed thank GOODNESS I always carried condoms (THIS TIME). So we get done and go back to family as like nothing happened gotta love skirts :).

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Day 2 we met eachother started talking to one another. She asked if we wanted to go on a walk said yup so we go to the same exact spot and we did the deed again came back. No one notices again. So few hours go back and she asks hey before we head back home to MO lets go for another walk said sure thing. This time I was out of condoms. She proceeded to tell me no worries shes on the pill anyways. So we go a different way (BAD MISTAKE) We do it and just about as I bust a nut inside her Her mother comes walking up to us ( my Cousin I know for a fact ) I go I am sorry we shouldn't of gone other way as no one walks that way. ( I didnt know this was her mother ) Before I tell my cousin not to tell my mom or dad. This girl we shall call her DAWN said MOM Why are you always spying on me now this girl is about 17 years old my cousin is about 30ish she had a kid very early hence why my second cousin is on birth control. I flip out I go wait a minute this is your mom. She proceeded to tell me yes she is my biological mother. I go thats my cousin. She looked at me and she is mildly dark skin due to mixture of puerto rican and white. She turned white as a ghost. My cousin looked at me like I raped her daughter. Or instigated it. I tell her I didnt know yada yada. So we go back and my cousin that is a pure bitch literally yells to everyone now mind you its probably about 100+ people there even our Pastor was there as he is a family friend. I was having sex at a family reunion even though it takes 2 to tango. You hear people cheer the other teenagers. You hear gasps then you hear people start laughing their asses off. My mother and father was not ammused. I get my ass chewed out. I hear others say dont worry about it this has happened before. I find out my Grandma and Grandpa was 3rd cousins.

TL;DR Go to family reunion Fucked my 2nd cousin not once or twice but three times 2 times protection once without protection. Get laughed at and ass chewed out. Grandma backed my ass up and lets out to everyoen that her and grandpa are 3rd cousins.

So you had sex with a consensual legal adult who happens to share a bit of your dna but not enough for it to be a problem if you ever had a child with her ? What's the big deal ?
Why are everyone so obsessed about stupid traditions. Some people marry their cousins. No one should give a shit as long as it does not hurt anyone else.

No she’s fairly well-integrated now. Her and her father fixed things I think and she comes to family events etc. We’ve spoken a couple times, but it’s pretty awkward. Best conversation we’ve had post-‘incident’ was when we were both drunk.

I did the exact same thing. Big Catholic family, so plenty of cousins I had never met, I'd not lived near any of them growing up but had moved nearby recently.

I was 14 and was bored AF at Random Relative's wedding. Found a cute guy to flirt with, pretty sure he was about my age but can't recall for sure. We ended up doing the deed, I am embarrassed to admit, literally in the alley behind the venue. What can I say, I was (and am) super classy.

Then we went back inside and eventually got introduced by someone. Ooooooops. Yep, second cousins.

And that was the first of three cousins I had sex with. My aunt and my mom knew for sure about the first cousin (my aunt's son), or maybe did some awesome mental gymnastics to explain why we were in his hotel room bed together, under the covers in the dark. Luckily they all filed that one under "we shall never speak of this again".

Nothing wrong really with 'incest' if protection is taken care of. Consensual casual sex is deemed ok nowadays. Incest is huge tabboo because of the health risks associated with procreating with your family members. Today birth control is so prevalent that these casual sex incest things are a bit silly, logically.

TBH people make way too big an issue for sex between cousin, biologically cousin are really loosly related. I know it's more of an ethical questions, but there's a lot countries allow cousin's marriage.

I feel like the only way this could happen is if your cousin looked so different that you felt it would be silly to confirm that you aren't related. otherwise alarm bells should have been going off in your head. then again, you were drunk, so I guess you couldn't hear them.

just out of curiosity how similar do the two of you look?

I feel like the only way this could happen is if your cousin looked so different that you felt it would be silly to confirm that you aren't related. otherwise alarm bells should have been going off in your head. then again, you were drunk, so I you couldn't hear them.

As far as I can tell it's not illegal, just a recently formed social faux pas. In fact it used to be the norm in most of the world. I bet your grandmother knows several people who not just fucked, but married their cousins if she didn't do it herself.

Great story. As others have said, just own it. I would also try to be friendly to get passed the awkwardness. Then, you could comfort/defend her. I think you've already shown you can take a joke and probably better than her. She is probably dreading the next wedding as much as you. You could message her now and get the awkwardness out of the way before then.

Aren't cousins allowed to even get married? I know it's sort of muddling the gene pool, and possibly quite weird, but I mean what the fuck. Lighten up man you didn't kill anyone and as you said you were protected. Both you AND her missed the queue, but nobody died.

Just avoid every family gathering from now on, and if asked why you don't come, state that you hate being shunned upon and are starting to hate all of them, maybe then they'll start treating you better

Man in Italy we say: "Non c'è cosa più divina di scoparsi la cugina", divina and cugina rhymes. It means "there is no such thing as divine as to fuck your (female) cousin". It's a thing we say to mock friends with an extremely hot cousin that they can't obviously really fuck.

Accept it you are the are a victim of child molestation... she raped you... I bet it must have felt good ;P hehehe

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I don't know what the problem is to be honest with the whole sex with cousin thing... there is no procreation and no knowledge of it so good for you guys yo got lucky... but at the same time i get it... xD

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As a general rule try to avoid this shit in family event...

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If it was me I would make a plan with her to tease the rest of the family on the next weeding just disappear together for a while and then come back together and laugh at their faces... hahaha sooo funny...

Your family are being dicks here. "How did you not see her sitting a row behind you". Well because shes behind you. If they knew you were grinding, kissing, going upstairs with her at any point they couldve stop the two of you. Only to laugh in your face after and forever and relishing it. If I was you next time they start laughing at you just fuck them out of it, how dare they turn your existence into a joke, you dont deserve to have them all laughing at you and lets face it they are telling everyone they can. Give them an ultimatum drop it or your cutting them out. Also get counselling the incest mistake couple with your family's callousness is doing damage.

Sorry for my reaction the family's reaction resonates with me and its just pissed me off!

I wouldn’t take it how you are. They know it doesn’t upset or get to me. It’s just mildly embarrassing. Think of it as banter between a family that like to mock one another. There is no malicious intent.

As stated previously, just power move it. Turn that shit on them, "Ah, yeah, haha, so funny. Keep it up and I'll turn my radars on you next". Male or female. Don't care. Make it so painfully awkward for them that they stop.

Like, lol, I'm grossed out you did that, but at the same time, I can see why and how it happened. You just didn't communicate and something happened that you both regret. You clearly wouldn't have done it if you were both sober.

Do you think it would have been better if you went down first? Because after reading this, I DEFINITELY plan to leave first in any similar (hopefully not incestuous) scenario.
You can trust yourself to act causally and play things off with a good excuse more than you can someone you just met. The state was very poorly set for you. On that note, thanks so much for including everyone’s reactions! Really made the story for me. I hate when people leave those specifics out.

It's not that bad, it's considered weird to get with a cousin because you grow up together similarly to siblings and because of potential genetic issues if having a child. You guys are none of these. Yes, it's super embarrassing but I wouldn't suggest you carry guilt forever.

But yeah - I get that lol, parts of my family would be fucking merciless too.

You deserve this tho, not for banging your cousin, but for banging your cousin when it would have been so easy for either of you to ask one simple question.

To be fair though, I blame her a lot more for two reasons

1 ) Since she was the long lost relative, she should have assumed the others would think she was the other side of the family because they'd never met. Like it kinda seems like it is on her to be more aware you may not know if you are family

I don’t blame her for telling. From what I can gather, as soon as we left together, everyone knew. And you’re right. It’s a lot more on her than me, as I had every reason to assume she was not my side.

Man, honestly, i don’t think it’s wrong. Technically you aren’t pure blood since it’s not some sister/brother shit, you are obviously still conflicted and attracted by Isla, so i’d just talk to her and tell her about how i felt. Tell her that the sex was amazing, tell her you didn’t know but if it was done once and both of you liked it, what’s so wrong about it? Really just have a one on one serious conversation with her.

She will more than likely reject you (not becauE she doesn’t like you mind, but rather because of social pressure/morality) but at least you will get some closure. Good luck Brother!

Incest ? I know that in the West cousins getting married is seen as quite... weird, but in my country it happens fairly often. I really wouldn't qualify it as incest ! If you grew up as brother and sister i'd understand but it's far from being the case.
Anyway yeah i understajd the awkwardness

If it makes you feel better OP, I almost had sex with my cousin. And I found out, through an odd series of events, where, we were going to fuck on a particular day, after she had left some event she her parents were taking her too. Me not knowing what this event was, and wanting to burn some time before we meet up, go with my mom and sister to a supposedly unrelated event...

The event was a family reunion. She was there. She was a first cousin, from an estranged family member. To top it all off, we had gone to school together since kindergarten, and never knew we were even related

Almost happened to me too except our uncle snuck up behind us, put his arms around both our shoulders and said very audibly, glad you two finally met. Oh and you guys can't fuck. You're cousins. Walked away laughing his ass off. That's how I met my cousin.

Thanks for sharing. Be happy nothing happened, no one was trying to do any harm and you both didn't know. Your faces while realising must have been priceless. Like the slogan of that old Mastercard add.

I mean, it seems like an honest mistake 🤷🏻‍♂️ families are big, you’re not gonna meet every member of it. Plus like you said, not everybody there In attendance was family. Still, with that being said....the “sweet home Alabama” is a funny touch 😂

I live my life by the motto “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” Your family is just jealous that they didn’t get to have sex that night.

Move on. Maybe consult the family tree next time before closing any deals at wedding or funeral, but otherwise change nothing. Keep bumpin and grindin your way to happiness my friend. If a cousin or two has to get banged in pursuit of that end, that’s just a risk of life. Bonus points for wrapping it up. No harm, no foul.

Make sure not to get too worked up over it. Shit happens and there's worse fuck ups in the world. You sound very regretful about the whole thing, which is understandable, but just remember that what's passed is past. Move forward. And look at it from the bright side: Sweet Home Alabama is a pretty good song, I wouldn't mind hearing it a bit more often than usual.

Number one rule at family functions is find out who they are before you fuck them. You'd think this rule is self explanatory. But something tells me this rule has been ignored In your family tree for many generations

Just to not pile on what everyone else is saying, I’m pretty sure that keeping a condom in the wallet has potential to mess up the condom in a way that may render it ineffective. Good on you for using protection, and don’t take my word for it, since it’s just something I heard once, but might want to make sure.

I just googled “condom in wallet” and got five million articles saying that it’s a bad idea. I guess it could be a case of “you find what you search for”. I’d say just be glad that they’ve all done their job so far and maybe rethink how you store them from now on.

Friction and temp changes can cause issues with condoms, so even keeping it in a pocket for too long (body heat), or in a pocket with your keys or phone can potentially mess them up.

Then again, I haven’t looked too much into it and I don’t know how much of an increased risk any of those carry. It could be inconsequential. I personally don’t have casual sex, so it’s not a big deal to me.

"accidental sex with cousin"..oh hi! susie..hi grandma, I just want to say....OH noes! I've tripped over and I'm falling....my pants have fell off and I just fell inside my attractive cousin from behind!

I'm estranged from my mothers family and I have a lot of female cousins on that side I could definitely imagine this scenario happening to me its part of the reason I'm glad to have half of America between us

On that next wedding, fuck her again during the ceremony on the altar to assert dominance over your stuck up family. Then go to your grandma and tell her "I'd bang you as well but I'm worried you'd break a hip or something". Roll credits.

If it makes you feel better at all, my sister had an on-again-off-again relationship for nearly 2 years with her boyfriend in high school (which became sexual after they were both 16, which is the age of consent in my country). Then my grandfather passed away and the family gathered for his funeral. It was then that we realised that our mum had an estranged much older half-sister - who turned out to be the bfs mum. My sister and I, and the bf for that matter, never even knew that our mothers had a sister to begin with, as they were from our grandfathers 2 different marriages and were born 15 years apart and had never met.

And that was how my sister slept with our first cousin for nearly 2 years and never even knew they were related.

So this was a couple of years back, my (now dead) great-grandpa's 90th birthday celebration. I don't really have a large family, mother is the only child, father has 1 sister. Now my grandmother (one of the daughters of the birthday hero) from father's side has a ton of family members and cousins and siblings. I've never met any of them, or just very very briefly, so it's safe to say we are kinda estranged from the family.

So we are in the celebration, it's kinda hard to call it a party as it's for a senior. Anyways, we get to the party, I see a ton of people I don't know, but I know that we share blood.

Well, I see a few good looking chick's, but as I'm not OP or from Alabama, I don't want to fuck my family members. Incomes my father, basically wanting me to go find me a girlfriend from this family gathering, and quite literally saying a sentence which roughly translated from Finnish to "closer are (familywise that is) , the better"... Safe to say he was joking, or atleast I hope he was.

My (now) ex told me he fingered his cousin at a wedding. In the toilets. Where other cousins/family members were, so I assume he meant everyone knew about it. I didn't know why he would tell me that until a few days later his mum invited me to a family dinner, which she said ALL the cousins would be attending... I went and spent the whole night wondering which one it was! I never asked - not sure if I really wanted to know! I narrowed it down to 4 potential 'suspects' and made bloody well sure they were never left alone with my boyfriend (ex) that night!! 😅