Imagine if aliens landed in the night and replaced all the Commonwealth athletes with comedians. Quite a few aspects of the Games would have to change. New sports would be registered such as the ten yard dash to the bar, trying to beat your personal best for necking a pint of Guinness and the relay knob gag event would give new meaning to passing the baton...

Good job then that the Frog and Bucket are planning nothing of the sort to celebrate the Games. Instead, they have chosen to follow in the Baddiel and Skinner comedy tradition of commenting on major sporting events with some of the best of Manchester talent taking the piss every night for the duration of the Games.

It will also serve to showcase the best of the city's comedy talent to the rest of the world. Apt, as Steve Harris, one of the main organisers (on account of his tidy nature) points out, "In the lull since Madchester, the big thing in the city now is comedy."

It'll certainly be a great opportunity for Manchester to show off what it's currently most proud of, but the amount of international shoulder rubbing that the event will entail has given comedian Dave Williams a worrying thought. "The Frog and Bucket will become cultural ambassadors for Manchester - which has got to be distinctly dangerous."

Nevertheless, over the two week period nine local comedians will perform including three City Life Comedian of the Year winners - Steve Harris, Tony Burgess and John Bishop. The night will consist of any four of the eight established acts plus promising newcomer and sole female Jo Dakin.

All will be performing a mixture of regular stand up and topical material as Dave Perkins The Frog's proprietor explains, "the night will poke fun at what has happened during the Games." The last word, however, goes to Steve Harris who, it appears, has been chewing on a dictionary, "The Commonwealth Games is an opportunity of a