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80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention...The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world- wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

"Life Member NRA" I am addicted to brake fluid,,,don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

A brunet is talking with her blond friend and tells her that last night she had wild sex with a hot Brazilian....The blond gasps and says to the brunet, OMG you are such a slut, how many is a Brazilian anyway?

"The roots of the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants".... Thomas Jefferson

"Those who hammer their guns into plows, will plow for those who do not".... Thomas Jefferson

Young Houng Lo calls his boss one morning and says, Hello Mr. Boss man, Houng feel very sick, head hurt, back hurt so can't come work today.....Boss says, that's too bad Houng, I was really counting on you today but if you want to feel better you should do what I do when I start feeling bad....I go to my wife and tell her that I need her to drop everything and go up stairs and make passionate love to me like when we were newlyweds and being the beautiful sexy wife that she is, she's always happy to do whatever I want and when it's over I feel fantastic and forget all about feeling sick....I think you should try it and see if it works for you...

Houng says, Boss man Houng will try anything you say because you are smartest boss man I know....A couple hours later Houng calls back and says Boss man, you so right, Houng try what you say and Houng now feel like million bucks, Houng be in to work in just a bit and by the way boss man, you have very soft bed....

Last edited by getsome; 11-03-2017 at 01:56 PM.

"The roots of the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants".... Thomas Jefferson

"Those who hammer their guns into plows, will plow for those who do not".... Thomas Jefferson

Male logicThere is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5,000 and see how each of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the 5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the 5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and decided to marry the one with the largest breasts...

"Life Member NRA" I am addicted to brake fluid,,,don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

Little SallyLittle Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face and told her mum.
"Franki brown showed me his willy today."
Before mum could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut....."
With a secret smile mum asked, 'Was it really small ?"

Sally replied, "No... really salty!"

"Life Member NRA" I am addicted to brake fluid,,,don't worry I can STOP at anytime!

Alligator shoesA young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation.
She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.
With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.
Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.
The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.
Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration,

"DAMN IT this one is barefoot too!!

"Life Member NRA" I am addicted to brake fluid,,,don't worry I can STOP at anytime!