Texas Governor Rick Perry has already solidified his place in the annals of women's history as the has the political equivalent of scheisse porn *don't Google that*. But as frustrating as it is to read about Perry's antics from elsewhere, what Texas women face in Perry's disastrous wake is much, much worse.

One woman profiled by Austin's NPR affiliate is left with few options now that her nearest Planned Parenthood — which is a four hour drive away — was shut down. But why was she driving to a place that was 4 hours away, you might ask?

Because her regular doctor is an actual ass face. A man with a butt instead of a face. From KUT,

“I had a hickey and the doctor was just like, you shouldn’t be doing that," Mason said. "I’m like, 'it’s a hickey, it’s nothing major.' But I got a big lecture, [he said] my boyfriend was abusive and all of these things. And then I asked for birth control. I did not hear the end of that. So I said never mind, I’ll go someplace else.”