Friday, July 22, 2016

Back in 2008 I hated Hillary Clinton. I couldn't understand how anyone could like her when Barack Obama was an option. I still love Barack Obama. I can't regret my vote, but I think now that I was pretty unfair to Hillary Clinton.

Here's a quick late-night anecdote about Hillary. To be fair, this is only based on my recollections and were it not after 11:00 pm, I'd probably do a little more work to dig up the clips. But it's late, I'm old, and I'm confident my recollections here are correct.

During the '08 democratic primary, Jon Stewart ran a little clip about how the two democratic candidates managed the grueling process of campaigning for president. Barack Obama said that he stayed sharp by working out every morning and playing basketball. He was young and sharp and ready to take all comers. Hillary answered the same question by saying "hot sauce."

I thought, "God, she's so lame!" which was the response intended by The Daily Show producers.

Up here in 2016, Hillary was being interviewed on a black radio program and was asked about something she kept in her purse all the time and she said "hot sauce.' The interviewers weren't having it and asked if she were pandering. Hillary joked "is it working?"

I ask you: do you really think Hillary knew that Beyonce had recently taken the world by storm with "hot sauce in my bag. Swag." Really? The 68 yr old lady was hip enough to know current Beyonce lyrics?

I don't think so - she does like hot sauce for a wake up. She said so in 2008. And the "is it working" was a dumb joke. All her jokes should come from writers. Hillary is much better at doing a job than she is in running for one. You know who'd agree with that assessment? Hillary Rodham Clinton.

But this is how it is for Hillary. Whatever she says is interpreted in its most nefarious light because, obvy, it's Hillary who's just "LIAR (FART NOISE) PANDER BEAR ASSHOLE LIAR WALL STREET LIAR POOP!"

I gave Hillary a little money tonight which is probably more meaningful than this dumb blogpost. But, as one of her supporters (and there are lots and lots of us, no matter what Michael Moore and all those Berners on Twitter would have you believe) that she's still standing after that such a long history where everything she says and does is interpreted in the narrowest, least generous way possible, we are reminded us of how tough and resilient she is.

This is the person I want running the ship: someone who can take a punch without losing focus. She is, to use a phrase from the last decade, a goddamn BAMF. And if you're still sitting there, so intractably attached to your idea of who she is that you're willing to throw your vote to a candidate who is no more than an orange meatsack of ego and misplaced rage, then I just don't even know what to say to you.

Except this blogpost and more like them. I'm trying to convince you. Don't risk an apocalypse.

Monday, July 18, 2016

So, what had happened was I chimed in on a pro-Jill Stein post and (figuratively) pooped on it and then was roundly scolded. To be fair, my scolding was probably called for. I'm not super into the dank memes, but I've always felt appropriately judged by this one:

This is a true statement - I don't actually have to tell people that I think they're wrong. It's obnoxious. So I'll stop posting on people's Jill Stein posts. Instead, I shall take to my blog.

To wit: I can't with Jill Stein. I just cannot. The more people tell me why they hate HRC, the more convinced I become that to her haters she is what they've decided she is more than she is what she is (that was a deep statement. I am a deep person). In various exchanges on social media, I have been assured that HRC is a war criminal and that she is corrupt and soon to be indicted any day now. She is not a war criminal and people have got to stop throwing that term around so liberally. Furthermore, the Republican party has dedicated their considerable resources for over 25 years now, with laser-like focus, to indict or charge her in some way. They've been unsuccessful because she is fundamentally honest. Hillary Clinton listens to people and adapts and changes when she is convinced to do so. She is brilliant and she is open-minded. She has changed positions, just as we all have. The fact that she does not remain entrenched, eternally convinced of her own correctitude, is a feature not a bug. Hillary Clinton is good at working with people. She is good at getting shit done.

But even more that that - even if you think I'm fundamentally wrong and that a vote for Hillary Clinton is nothing more than a vote for a status quo that will make the rich richer and the poor poorer - y'all, we have Done This Dance Before.

In the year 2000, I had many friends and colleagues who refused to vote for Al Gore because they were not, by god, going to play into this lesser-of-two-evils, neoliberal bullshit anymore! And, yes, I know that there is a case to be made that the ensuing eight years were not the fault of the Nader voters, that the election was actually stolen (unlike, not for nothing, the 2016 democratic primary vote), and that Al Gore should have fought harder.

But the Nader voters didn't help. Had they cast their votes for Al Gore, he would have won. Imagine now where we'd be now. Imagine what the world would be like without Cheney's Excellent Adventures in Iraq. Think of where we could be now if we hadn't lost eight years on Climate Change. Think about that.

And now think about this: Donald Trump is so much worse than George W. Bush. Even outside of his vile racism and vile misogyny, this is a man who is radically unconcerned with anything outside of his own enormous (yuge!) ego. You would risk - and Jill Stein would have you risk - putting the nuclear codes into the tiny hands of Donald Trump.

Remember this?

Even if you think we're standing in an open grave (and I do not think this is a valid assessment of America), let's not invite the rain in on top. Shit, let's not invite the ground to open up and swallow us into a sea of combovered effluvia and self-tanner. Also nuclear winter.

Do you believe that you can maintain the purity of your vote and we'll still end up without President Trump? Is that it? If so, I have some friends over in Great Britain you might want to talk to.

If you think the democratic party is insufficiently liberal and you want a third party, then, for the love of god, work on this at the municipal and state level. Look to your politically opposite (if, I'm just gonna say it, dispositionally similar) pals from the tea party. They didn't get their political power by putting someone in the White House. They got it by putting lots of someones in lots of city, state and congressional seats and now they're driving the clown car.

Do not, for the love of the entire Mel Brooks oeuvre, help to make Donald Trump our Commander-in-Chief.

Facebook Badge

About Me

I'm a Chicagoan by way of Memphis, wife to Donbon and mother to Laneybon, my heart, my soul, the source of most of my heartburn. I work for a small software company. I prefer brown alcohol to clear and have grown adjusted to the fact that no matter how old I get, I'll never learn to apply eye shadow properly and my hair will never look right.