'george's fashion sense' Tagged Entries

12 Entries on This Page

George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role would conflict with his ongoing protest against poodles (don't ask), Sharon Stone got the part.

In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half months before we were discovered. After being sent out of the convent we took our habits to Antarctica to live with the penguins. So far our guise has not been penetrated (and neither have we, luckily).

In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. However, there is a tribe of people in the central forests of Simushir, known as the Norge, which embraced the opposable nose. Their culture is very interesting and celebrates the gift of the opposable nose bestowed upon them by their ancient deities Egroeg and Laen, two powerful beings that visited their people with magical devices and funny haircuts.

In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy love affair with George. Making it even more ironic, George had no idea the song was about him.

George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively was cool enough. They also tried to convince Peter Criss to come with, but he seemed to like the cat makeup. Peter Criss did eventually leave the band in 1980 but kept returning and quitting the band throughout the years. In 1994 George and Neal became nostalgic for the KISS years and grew fond of the raccoon and chimp makeup and are now rarely seen in public without it.

In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort once reserved for only elite athletes affordable for all. Our furniture is based on classic designs that people are intimately familiar with from their days as infants. Now adults can enjoy all the comforts of baby furniture! Sleep in your own personal, adult size crib. Eat without the hassle of a table with your very own high chair. Relax in your very own swing, complete with three point harness. Driving has never been safer with your very own car seat (we don't recommend using it rear facing in the driver's seat however). Or enjoy your favorite IISL events from the comfort of a vibrating bouncy chair. It doesn't get any better than that.

George showing off the latest in the ILEAK line of infant inspired furniture.

In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a strange odor. After a few innings, George became so upset by the noxious smell, he complained to P.K. Wrigley, who located a nearby patron who was attending the game with his billy goat. After asking the patron (Billy Goat Tavern owner Billy Sianis) to leave because his pet goat's odor was bothering other fans, Sianis became outraged and declared, "Them Cubs, they aren't gonna win no more," which has been interpreted to mean that there would never be another World Series game played at Wrigley Field. It has also been said by many that Sianis put a "curse" on the Cubs; if so, it was incredibly effective as the Cubs have not won a single World Series since then. (Later that evening, George located the odor, and it wasn't the goat. It was Neal. Whoops.)

While we're on the topic of the Cubs, George and Neal felt so badly for having caused a curse that led to the downfall of the Cubs Dynasty, they vowed to do all that they could to break the curse (ok, they didn't feel too bad, but the Cubs were the only baseball team they could afford to try out their awesome plan). That's why in 2020, George and Neal populated the entire Cubs team with many versions of themselves taken from different timelines. The Neals and Georges trained for many months, to get in peak physical condition. Given George and Neal's skills (including their self-professed and much doubted sexual prowess), the people of Chicago, nay, the world, were filled with hope and excitement. People also thought Waterworld and the Postman would be good movies. People are idiots. George and Neal's first game resulted in the injuries of numerous Georges and Neals, and a score of 75-1. (They got one run during the inning that the pitcher kept beaming them in the head for fun.) Consequently, that was the first and last game George and Neal ever played as Cubs. The next day the owners (who happened to be the real Neal and George for that time) fired all the other Neals and Georges and rehired all the original players. Interestingly enough, that devastating loss was not the Cubs' worst defeat. They lost by bigger margins three more times that season despite Neal and George no longer playing. Chalk it up to bad managing (the George and Neal managers were fired at the end of the season).

Above: the most handsome baseball team ever. They were known as the "Lovable, handsome, amazingly bodacious losers."

On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared Neal to eat a live worm (not knowing that Neal had done this for free in the past, on a number of occasions). Neal then dared George to go back in time and dress like a woman at a number of milestones in his life.

Although there were those who thought George was the bride, it was still a beautiful ceremony. George decided to keep the toaster that he received; the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.

Photo by: Neal

After George went to numerous weddings, funerals, birthday parties, circumcisions, etc. dressed as a woman, George then dared Neal to not be witty, funny and/or suave for one day. (Neal of course could not do so - his awesomeness is by instinct not design). After trying (and failing) not to be awesome, Neal then dared George to erase Dan Ackroyd's entire existence. George did so with ease and great pleasure. Of course, George had to find someone to fill in the now Ackroyd-less roles...

The dares continued, each more fantastic than the last, which all culminated somehow in Neal thinking he could take on Muhammad Ali in his prime. Six concussions later, he discovered he could not. Neal would have continued the dare contest, but after multiple blows to the skull, he forgot all about the contest and for some reason instead decided to be a divorce attorney. George was satisfied, believing that somehow this meant he won the contest.

Funny, Neal doesn't remember this at all. (George, on the other hand, remembers it very, very clearly, having profited immensely from all the shirts, DVDs, postcards, "Happy Birthday, Grandma" birthday cards, toilet paper, penile enlargement packs, and other products he sold bearing this image. Thanks George.)

In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakthroughs and new physics concepts of the new millennium, Einstein wished only to learn of our current fashion trends. Consequently, history was altered ever-so-slightly, and now getting your tongue pierced is commonly referred to as "going all Einstein on your mouth".

In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their discovery led to a dramatic increase in popularity of pink zebra print fashions. Today Pink Zebras are extremely rare and endangered because of all the illegal hunting that goes on to support western culture's obsession with making these beautiful animals into clothing, bedding, iPhone covers, car seats, etc. In the 2000s George and Neal started conservation efforts and captive breeding programs in an attempt to reintroduce large herds of Rosea Zebra to the wild. Unfortunately the revitalization of Pink Zebra populations also resulted in the resurgence of Pink Zebra print fashions. But you won't find any Pink Zebra print stuff in either of our households. We prefer beaver felt hats and whale blubber reading lamps.

We had nothing to do with the unfortunate domestication and mass farming of the now ubiquitous Fluorescent Spandex Cattle that resulted from the 80s fashion trends.

In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick tried, but after a few months Patrick decided the mowhawk wasn't an edgy enough hair and it was time to go for a classically timeless skullet. He wore the skullet to great success as Gurney Halleck in 1984's Dune, however in 1987 Neal tried to talk Patrick into turning the skullet into Bozo hair, but he wisely refused and instead decided to go for the full cue ball effect. The glabrescent style became part of his trademark look and helped him land the iconic role of Captain Jean Luc Picard after Robert H. Justman, producer for a revival of a long-cancelled television show, saw Patrick while attending a literary reading at UCLA. The rest is, as they say, "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."

'The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules; it is a philosophy ... and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous, but not as disastrous as this hair cut.' - Jean Luc Picard

In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hair on your back by 650%. They were so confident that the lotion would work that they offered a "monkey back guarantee."

If ever we are taken over by ant overlords, we intend to foster a sense of insecurity amongst the ants about their hairlessness - then sell them our lotion. Boom. Money.

Visitor StatsMouse Over to View

The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.

So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).

Or, just click on one of the ads on our site. We'll get a few pennies, and there's no obligation for you, guaranteed or your money back!

Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.

This site. The best. Bigly good. Those other sites? SAD. So sad. But George and Neal? I mean, trust me. I know good people. I know - I'm the best at knowing good people and you'd be amazed at what those guys can do. Fantastic job, you two.

Well, how about that! We got a comment from someone other than Clem or evil Bette. Thanks for your support Rich, we hope you're doing well, too. It's been a long time since we've talked, so we'll head back to 1998 and pay you a visit then. Bucket run?