THE MONOLOGUE

It all started when I was out with the guys at this bar.I told myself I wouldn’t, but I ended up drinking. Its hard to go to a bar and not have ANYTHING. I told my wife I wouldn’t drink anything, but that idea soon went out of focus…literally. I just needed to take my mind off being so completely in debt. Soon the place became very crowded, a few drinks turned into many and soon got tanked including me. I decided to leave the scene and take a power walk. As I was walking down the street, it occured to me…I really needed some towels from Bed, Bath and Beyond. As I walked in the store I got a basket and started shopping like a maniac. I mean…I went absolutely psycho-path and decided that I need more. It just wasn’t the towels that I needed, our house needed blankets, throws, tea kettles, a new filtration system, a ceiling pot rack, napkin rings, lamps, suana robes, a new clock, candle and candles holders and an aerobed for my grandparents since they’re coming to visit. They really should have a warning sign right at the entrance of this place, it can put you in debt. Once you step in, you think you need everything. As I was at the cash register to pay for all my items, the lady told me if I wanted cash or credit. I wasn’t sure…just looking at all the items in my basket made me go crazy. I was speechless. She told me to hold up one finger for credit and two fingers for cash. I held up one finger. I then came to my senses and gave her my Mastercard. As she ran it through the machine, the trickles of sweat kept pouring down my face. By the look on her face I knew there was bad news. I heard her deep voice say in super slow motion, “I’m sorry sir, your credit card got denied. Would you like me to swipe it again?” I hate that dreaded word,”denied.” I was completely denied. I left all the stuff and ran into my car. Luckily, I knew where it was parked. Sadly, I got a $100 ticket for parking next to a fire hydrant. That just…