She said Nothing Chapter 2

Will Samantha ever feel like she is worth something?
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Submitted:May 27, 2011
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CHAPTER 2

Morning
announcements went on as usual, same old notices; same old words.
Nothing really changes in Riverton high school. NOTHING! Teachers wear the same
clothes to work, students clothes seem to belong only in Runways;
even the halls have the same bleach and citrus smell of
everyday.

Samantha walked the halls to
reach the auditorium where she will be gathering with the rest of
the school to hear "special announcement". The principle comes on
stage everyday and drones on and on about, well, absolutely
nothing. Anna, Sara and JJ were standing by the door waiting for
Samantha to come. They met, and greeted each other with smiles
and laughter. Samantha with her mask on and ready for action
started talking animatedly about the movie she watched yesterday,
leaving out the bits where she fought with her mom about not
wanting to eat yet another meal.

As they entered the
auditorium, the principle was calling for attention. Everyone sat
in their seats and waited for him to start boring them with yet
another talk on "The Do's and Don'ts of…" this time about
Drinking.

The girls
laughed a little but Samantha was apprehensive. She got a bad
vibe from today's topic; maybe it's that wretched dream she
thought, if only I could remember what happened.

Every Friday,
geography in the morning followed by history and math, MATH!!
Just when the day couldn't get any worse, they lug in math with
it. As they walked to class, Samantha's friends chatted happily
about the latest gossip in school; who is the "IT" couple, people
caught doing God knows what with God knows who, the
usual.

She couldn't
understand why she felt so restless. Maybe it's the hunger
talking she thought but dismissed it completely because she has
to convince herself that she is NOT hungry and NEVER has to eat.
She quickly changes the topic and started wondering what they are
going to do today. More than anything Samantha would rather curl
up in bed with a cup of hot cocoa and a good book, but its
Friday, there is no way she could get out of going out. It was
decided that they were going to the mall; a little shopping, a
little lounging, what could be more perfect?

Classes went on
as usual with little or no trouble, not a concept new to the
students of this rather monotonous school. When the lunch hour
finally arrived, Samantha and her friends made their way to the
cafeteria. The girls went in line to get food, while Samantha
said she would go and find them seats. She sat down watching
everyone talking, laughing and eating and wishing should could be
like them, not that it would happen until she is a size 4; which
to Samantha, seems like a long way away.

Anna found Sam,
before the other girls came, lost in thought but when she was
going to ask her what's on her mind, Samantha perks up and
pretends nothing happened, Anna found herself wondering if her
best friend was okay.

The other two
joined the table and a serious talk began, or as serious as a
conversation would get for 16 year olds who seemed not to have a
care in the world. Somehow the girls found themselves talking
about eating disorders, everyone but Sam laughed at the idea of
either starving yourself or vomiting your guts out. Of course
they are all skinny anyways so what would they know, thought
Samantha as she quietly listened choosing, for once, not to join
in the conversation. That's when Samantha felt fear, if they knew
she was starving herself, would they shun her or laugh, would
they be good friends and stick by her in her time of need.

As she brooded
in thought, reality struck in the form of her petite friend
Sara.

"Samantha? Why
didn't you get food? Why aren't you eating?"

"Oh, um, I'm not
hungry Sara" came the lie as easily as if she were to believe
it.

With a smile, Samantha steered the
conversation in a more bubbly direction: clothes. She got them
all to talk about what type of dress they want to wear to the
upcoming dance. Anna was thinking a strapless navy blue dress
with a silver shrug and heels. JJ made it clear she was so anti-
dance that she decided not to go and Sara just didn't have her
mind made up yet. They all turned to Samantha to hear what she
has to say.

"I'm wearing a
black A-line dress, they say it's slimming" she said

"THERE IS NOTHING
WRONG WITH YOUR BODY SAM!!!" exclaimed the girls.

As the bell rang signaling
the end of lunch, Samantha found herself very grateful, for once.
She almost told them, almost. She shouldn't slip like that again,
not again, she thought. As classes went on, Samantha found
herself dreaming about the one thing that she believes will make
her happy: being skinny. If I were skinny, everyone would like
me, guys would be drooling, dresses would fit and I wouldn't have
to stare at a disgusting reflection anymore. I would have the
perfect life she thought and all will be right with the
world.

She went home dreading what
she would find, she hoped that no one was home so that she can
just go to her room and no one would bother her. She headed
straight to the fridge out of habit but stopped midway and
retreated upstairs instead; she took a shower and slept a little
before her mom walked into the room.

"Hey Sam, I
brought you something to eat" said mom.

"I ate earlier on
mom, and plus I'm going out with the girls tonight and we are
going to eat, which reminds me, I should be getting dressed"
replied Samantha.

"Alright I'll
leave you to it, but promise me you will eat with your friends"
said mom.

"I Promise" she replied with an eye
roll.

As she got dressed, she
thought about her figure yet again, wishing she could be thinner
and taller, though because of her short genes, being tall wasn't
an option. She gave herself a one look over before she left her
room shaking her head and muttering in disgust. She saw her mom
one last time before she left, said bye to her dad and siblings
and was heading out.

This could be
good for me she thought, getting out of the house, having fun;
maybe, just maybe she could enjoy it like everyone else.