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Monthly Archives: March 2008

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it’s been a really long weekend (and it’s not over yet). due to a lack of sleep, i have had some crazy, funny, frustrating and awkward experiences this weekend. i realized that there are four levels of tiredness/exhaustion (at least that i know of). here they are:

frustration
this is the beginning of being tired. when you are tired the first thing to go is your patience. it seems that every little thing and every person seems to do something to tick you off. the best thing you can do in this state is either take a nap or eat chocolate (cause that will help take away that headache that accompanies all the frustration…lol).

funny
if you continue staying awake after the frustration comes, everything will eventually become funny. it’s like being drunk (not that i would know…people just look at me like i am…lol). this is when nothing you say makes sense…but yet is hysterically funny. the majority of our humor stories come from these times in our lives. nothing takes the frustration away quicker than the overwhelming urge to laugh at things for no reason. this level is so worth being tired for (as long as you can sleep afterwards…lol)

over-emotional
i have to admit that this is my least favorite out of the four. this is where you are so tired that your emotions are on your sleeve. all your walls that keep hidden secrets and the true things you feel towards people and situations are no longer there. personally, i lose all my inhibitions in my communication life. i start telling people how it is (lol). the hardest thing for me is that i get depressed for some reason. i start feeling really lonely and thinking my life is a waste. i look at things in my life and start judging everything out of context…although i do get really quiet (due to a lot of tired thinking), so some people like when i get to this state. 🙂

sick
this is the highest level of tiredness outside of death. this is where you are so tired that you feel physically sick. the only way you can stay up at this point is to jerking your body around by drinking (or injecting…lol) multiple cups of triple espressos or multiple energy supplements. but the longer you stay up the worse the sickness gets. you start off feeling sick, then you get a fever, then you want to vomit and it keeps getting worse after that. this is also the state that your body is craving sleep. if you shut your eyes for 20 seconds…you’re gone. that may be the best part of this state…you never have to fight to get asleep. lol

well, i’m going to go to bed now. i am in between the third and fourth level of tiredness myself and i have a long day tomorrow.

what other “levels” are there that i didn’t mention? do you agree with the four levels? are they in order? what stories do you have about the four levels in your life?

i decided the other day to post some of my thoughts about grace here on my blog. i started writing and i soon realized that the post was going to be very long. i know many people who have expressed hardships in reading long posts so out of concern for them, i decided to break it into parts and write a series on grace (it’s been a long time since i’ve done a series).

when researching grace, i looked to see what people have grown up hearing it is. i agree with john piper who says “most people have very little idea of what grace is or what it is for”. yet it is one of the most important things we receive, need and believe in as christians.

i hope that in posting some thoughts and biblical definitions of grace, we all can come to a better understand of this great gift that God gives us.

what do you think “grace” is? what are your core beliefs about it? how important is grace?

that pretty much sums it up. all the others reason are great too. check it out!

are there other reasons you should stuy the end times? what did you think about the article? are the reasons given enough to justify a deep lifelong study of the end times? is it really for everyone or a select few?

i thought it was a good question and i gave them my opinion. i decided to post it here too.

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i believe honesty/truth becomes mean when there’s no redemptive purpose and love in it, but i think that’s only one of the main problems. the other (and probably the bigger) issue is timeliness.

proverbs 15:33 says:

a man has joy by the answer of his mouth and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!

the thing about truth is that people have to open to it. if their hearts aren’t open to receive it, it produces no fruit. and if it doesn’t produce anything then it was a waste of words (a waste of seed). although there are side benefits to saying the truth to everyone about everything…i don’t think it justifies letting the truth fall on deaf ears.

isaiah 6:8-13 says (btw…Jesus used this scripture Himself):

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” He said, “Go and tell this people: “‘Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.’ Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.” Then I said, “For how long, O Lord?” And he answered: “Until the cities lie ruined and without inhabitant, until the houses are left deserted and the fields ruined and ravaged, until the Lord has sent everyone far away and the land is utterly forsaken. And though a tenth remains in the land, it will again be laid waste. But as the terebinth and oak leave stumps when they are cut down, so the holy seed will be the stump in the land.”

understand that isaiah speaking forth the truth of God to people with deaf ears was an act of judgment on God’s part. there are times i feel i have to warn people…but i’ve seen times where i’ve actually made them worse off…cause now they’re no longer ignorant. it is better not to know the truth than to know it and not obey it.

so what then? do we stop speaking truth at all? by no means. but we must be prayful and sensitive about it. something my pastor’s wife talks about is “wisely picking your battles”. there are people who are so deceived that i’ve seen her not say anything to them about their deception. she understands that she can’t just say anything to anyone at anytime. the best thing we can do is pray for a long time before we ever approach them to tell them the truth. i love what my friend mark says:

i don’t normally give people a corrective word without praying for them and the word for two weeks.

final thought…there is a church here in deland that stands downtown and tell people the “truth” (the “you are a sinner and going to hell” stuff) and if you ask them they’ll tell you they truly care about the people they’re preaching to…they really don’t want them to go to hell. so why doesn’t it feel like it’s right? could it be that no one is open to it and therefore all it causes is contention?

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what do you think about the timeliness of truth? is it destructive for people to hear the truth without being open to it? why or why not? besides speaking in love and timeliness, are there any other things we must be careful of when telling the truth?

we started the afternoon/final session with a amazing worship session. i realized that something happens when God comes to you and asks you a question. many times God declares His will and desires to us…but sometimes He comes to us and asks us a question. it is a very scary and sober thing. God asked job questions about His sovereignty, Jesus asked His disciples who He was…and He still comes and asks us things that cut right to our hearts and exposes what is inside. He came to me in the middle of worship and asked me:

what do you want?

the question scared me. it wasn’t a prosperity question, it was a satisfaction question. He was saying:

since you are not fully satisfied in Me…what else do you want? what else do you need to be satisfied? do you think anything will help?

it was another breaking time for me this weekend. i cried out for help. i wanted the Lord to help me be more satisfied in Him. i desire to be 100% faithful to Him…and only He can bring me to that place.

after worship, my good childhood friend michelle tepper spoke. she rocked! she spoke on unconditional love and trust…when it comes to God and our physical relationships. here are some of the things she said that really shook me:

the world says that you can’t love someone until they earn your trust…
but the Bible sets a standard of unconditional love…love based on His character.

the two biggest things that keep us out of the keep is fear and pride.

i find myself doubting the only One who truly loves me, who truly DOES have my best interest at heart. what a sad irony.

we can’t make trust happen. we have to grow into it. but we can look to Jesus. that is how trust is developed.

what questions have God asked you that have cut to your heart? what was your reply? do you have a hard time giving to others the same love and trust that God gives you? what in the message spoke to you?

this morning we went to the local movie theater and watched “horton hears a who“. it was a great movie…but when looked at through the eyes of ending abortion…it was absolutely breaking. some people say that it isn’t about abortion, but if you truly believe that, then you don’t believe at all in what the book/movie is trying to say. dr suess wrote the book before abortion was legalized…but the principle is a truth…and truth is not subjective or partial.

when i was watching the movie, i laughed (it was really funny) and i cried. here are some of my favorite lines:

(kangaroo)
if you can’t see it, hear it or feel it…it does not exist

(horton)
even though you can’t see them at all
a person’s a person, no matter how small.

i meant what i said, and i said what I meant.
an elephant is faithful one hundred percent.
that’s my code, my motto.

(the whos)
we’re here, we’re here, we’re here!

God was really challenging me on how involved do i want to get when it comes to His will. is it worth completely selling out to? will i be faithful 100%? will i not settle for compromise and push on to reach and achieve the impossible? will i fight for His heart and His desires no matter who stands with me?

i am saying yes and praying for His help.

what did you think of the movie? did you see the abortion ties? what were your favorite parts? did the Lord speak to you at all about it? what were challenged with?

we started off tonight with some awesome worship. God really broke through as we sung “trust” and afterwards God spoke through prophecy to everyone who attended. we were singing this line:

depending on You is all i can do
Lord i place my trust in You

God started speaking that HE is depending on us. He is depending on us that we really mean what we were singing. He has great plans and He is depending on us to trust Him…no matter where the journey takes us.

next, we watched a video of lou engle talking about the new movie that just come out called “horton hears a who” (we get to watch it for free tomorrow morning at the conference!!!). here is the clip:

next, the speaker came up. her name is marsha woolley. she preached a message called “meltdown”. click here to listen.afterwards, God touched many women who had been barren or who had mental diseases. He gave hope to many who were losing faith in the faithfulness of God. it was a beautiful night.

what did you think of the “horton” clip? what did you think of the message from marsha?