What I have learned is that my type is a lot looser than I thought it was. It turns out personality affects me more than visuals. And not in a "he's so nice I can look past the fact that I find him ugly" kind of way. In a "his personality is so seductive that I find his whole body irresistible" kind of way.

I meet a lot of average looking guys, and I'm not physically attracted to them until I get to know them and realize their interesting as hell...which means I become attracted to basically any guy I meet over a long period of time oops lol. But it wears off as I begin to appreciate the relationship we have and don't want sex or anything from them.

Yes! He was 15 years older than me, bald, fat and short. His teeth looked like someone had thrown them into his mouth. But he was intelligent, smart and funny. And kinky. I seduced him and even though I could see that he wasn’t attractive and that people gave us looks when we where out together, we had great sex.

Yes! He was 15 years older than me, bald, fat and short. His teeth looked like someone had thrown them into his mouth. But he was intelligent, smart and funny. And kinky. I seduced him and even though I could see that he wasn’t attractive and that people gave us looks when we where out together we had great sex.

Yepp! Back in high school there was this average looking girl who was part of my group of friends. Shy, strawberry blonde, music student. She played the clarinet and spent most of her time perfecting her music so she had not much time for guys.

Fast forward four years after high school and she still looked the same; ordinary as ever. Bumped into her during a bus transit and we had a chat for a bit during our journey and figured, hey why not ask her out for dinner. I had recently become single and had nothing holding me back.

Following week we had dinner, she talked about her travels around the country (mostly on her own) and how she had only wished she did more during her high school years than spend it mostly in music rooms all lunchtime and after school. She told me that she was also glad i bumped into her because she was always keen on catching up outside of the group but she never had the chance to ask me or allowed herself time to be available.

We ended up going back to hers and going at it like rabbits till 630 am with multiple breaks, blowjobs, and kinky play. Despite her average beauty, dare I say, plain beauty, she had an amazing body with a natural bust and goddess hip to waist ratio. Her favorite position was doggy and standing doggy (either against the wall or against her bedframe). Cherry on top was she had an implanon, and to help clean up better, she suggested we take off the condom and let me finish however I wanted. Never in my mind did I expect her to be such a wild card tucked away all this time. I felt like I knew her physically so well and was extremely comfortable just laying there naked, or walking around her apartment like I lived there..despite it all happening in less than 12hours. We woke up around 3pm, bodies worn out and muscle aches in the weirdest places, but it was all worth it. I felt like she has had more experience than I feared but she said she just had two other boyfriends before whom she experimented with greatly.

The sex was amazing, and I wish the story had a happy ending with us still together, but we parted ways after that night. She had a call to move interstate the following month and she wasn't sure when she would be back permanently. She insisted we stay in touch but we all know that hardly happens long term. Fast forward to 2019, I still have no idea how she's been, I'm happily married, got plans to start a family and buy a new house, but my God, this post brought back some experiences in my life I never thought I'd reflect on.

I realized I always seem to end up with guys I wouldn’t say meet standard conventions for attractiveness. None of my boyfriends have been particularly attractive. When I am with a guy I do find hot, I feel less confident and secure—like I’m low-hanging fruit for somebody like him.

I’m the same way and tend to fuck it up with a guy that “fits” the mold of what I find attractive. I feel much less pressure if the guy is obviously not as attractive as me because I feel I can be myself more so then start to worry about what they think about me right off the bat.

Yes! The new head of my major at school is not a particularly handsome man. To be frank, he’s not really in shape, and he doesn’t have a strong nose or jaw, which is usually what I look for. However, there’s something about his personality and the way he speaks that really gets to me. It’s like he’s unapologetically him, and he seems to own a room when he publicly speaks. I legitimately blush when he gives lectures.

Yeah attraction for me almost always seems to come down to some mysterious chemistry rather than looks. Each time I’ve pursued it, it has been mutual. They say pheromones don’t really affect human attraction, but it sure feels something like that!

I wouldn’t call any of them “ugly” but yeah I’ve been with a few unconventionally attractive men. Mostly because I have a thing that makes me want to seduce older men that are my authority. If that makes sense. Like a couple of my managers and also a couple teachers. I was a consenting adult, don’t freak out.

He was 24. I was 15. I was a punk princess with torn fishnets and plaid skirts. It was 1994. He would give me rides in his shit car to punk shows.

We lost touch until 2011.

And that’s when we actually did anything physical. BUT I know he was trying. And you know what? No regrets at all. He would “massage” my back in class. Give me money. He took me out to eat and came over to my house. We don’t talk much now but I still get a thrill out of the subject.

Yeah looking back, I guess it was a little inappropriate. I don’t know why I’m getting downvoted for it, not that I care.

At the time, I was already hanging out with people who were in their early 20s so I didn’t think much of it. Also, like I said, we didn’t find each other again until I was in my early 30s. I was going to school and unemployed. He was the one that sent me 5k USD a month so I could care for my kids and do my classes full time. He obviously had made a nice career for himself by then. Not in teaching haha

I never felt like I owed him anything. And I never felt threatened by his actions when I was a teenager. He WAS NOT grooming me. I know it sounds so weird but really... he never crossed the line (in my opinion). Yeah he could have gotten in trouble but fuck that was forever ago now.

I am still in close contact with him. A couple years ago, I had a huge fight with my bf and I called him and said “buy me a plane ticket to (place I’m from) NOW please” 3 hours later, I was stepping off of the plane and in my home town. I can depend on that man for anything.

Oh and as for the paying my way through school, not once did he act like he expected anything in return. I was a grown woman and DID go visit and sleep with him. But I’d always been attracted to him anyway. He actually hates the fact that I used to be his student. He hates Don’t Stand So Close to Me by The Police and when I joke about it. I saw him a year ago and he took my daughter and I out for a dinner that I could never afford and bought us all separate hotel rooms. No expectations.

But you know what I think is weird? My sons math teacher (8th grade) MARRIED one of his students as soon as she was old enough. I see them in the grocery store with their baby and I’m like wtf. Then I’m like “ok ok don’t judge....” but that shit is almost wrong.

Edit: look through my history and see where I’m from... it wouldn’t surprise you! Hahaha

Of the women I’ve slept with, the best sex has come from the ones who were not conventionally “hot”. Now, I think they were, and I think my wife is, but conventionally speaking, I guess not? I actually have come to disdain what is considered conventionally sexy. Anyway. The “sexiest” looking women I’ve been with were actually no good with sex, kissing or any kind of affectionate behavior.

I can sometimes feel like there's a dominant side to me that enjoys the aspect of me being way more attractive than the one I'm having sex with. Like the person should be thankful for me giving her a go. Now I'm not saying I'm the best looking guy there is but I have been in situations where we are clearly on different levels and the thought of it has always been a turn on.

Funny to hear a man say this we assume men always just want the hottest woman. But you see women use this ‘I am way to hot for you so worship me’ sexual energy all the time with men and no one thinks anything of it. I totally get it, it feels good to have someone in awe of your body. I married the young guy that made me feel like I was amazing and something special :)

Evolutionarily speaking, women crave emotional connection, because they want to make sure that their mate is going to stick around to raise their offspring. Men are looking for the best/as many women as they can, so they have a better chance of one of their offspring surviving.

Not tryna put you on blast or anything, but Evolutionary psychology/biology in particular is a discipline consistently criticized for its sexism and essentialism and ethnocentrism (for example your theory already presumes that males have control over the resources but historically this has not been true in many societies) so I really do not buy these type of non explanatory explanations.

It's constantly criticized (partially) because, even if it is sometimes accurate, it goes against the popular narrative that women and men are literally the same biologically and everything is a result social conditioning.

Obviously there are some bunk theories that are blatant sexism or ethnocentrism, but evolutionary biology as a science is not only those theories.

LMAO any guy that starts his sentence with the phrase "evolutionarily speaking" and trying to talk for/assuming things about women I cant take seriously, the persons question was obviously targeted towards women so i guess you shouldve just waited until a girl replied to him before you went on your evolution spiel boi

Huh I have read about studies where women and men inhaled from t shirts worn for two days I think? Then a link was demonstrated between attraction to t shirt and to person. Small sample maybe, but real.

Unattractive women who still dress in a sexy way and know how to act seductively can still be pretty hot. How someone carries themselves has a lot to do with it. Definitely have seen a lot of examples of that.

Going through it right now but in an online context (so pheromones or other physical things can't explain it), we share a sense of humor, he is incredibly confident sexually, when he tells stories of his sexual experiences or acts a bit flirty it turns me on alot and I cannot explain it beyond his confidence and personality clicking with mine, but I want to fuck him so much that it's unbearable. I've seen photos, he's definitely not conventionally attractive but I'm still so horny for him. If we weren't states away from each other I'm sure we'd have amazing sex.

I met this guy at a party once we were both fucked up ended up going home with him when I woke up he was not physically attractive at all so I bolted but he grew on me he’s v smart and smooth also good pipe

My AP English teacher told us she kinda had a thing for Steve Buscemi when our class was talking about weird crushes we had. I’ll never forget the roar of laughter that erupted when she said told us. That lady was the best.

absolutely. theres a guy in one of my classes who is totally not my type and never something i would be lured too but damn, i can't help but get dirty thoughts whenever he even just raises his hand to say something

There was a guy in college who had a very noticeable receding hairline. It sounds corny as hell, but he just had really awesome eyes. I think they're called hunter's eyes? I just loved them, and thought he was the hottest guy in school just because if that. I couldn't really tell you about his body, except that he wasn't fat. I don't think he was spectacularly fit though, either. More 'normal' than anything.

My husband lolol he was not my type at all, I used to be really attracted to tall, blonde guys with light colored eyes then my husband came along, short (just a few inches taller than me), black hair, dark brown eyes, not ugly but not my type. But his personality hooked me in from the second I met him, in a day we knew we were for each other and so it has been for 6 years now. We’ve been horny for each other since day one.

I took up ballroom/social dancing many years ago, and discovered that every once in a while, with the right partner, often completely irrespective of their skill level, I just clicked with a partner in a way that made that dance as... sensual as sex, if not moreso.

If you never have, I highly recommend going to your local Arthur Murray or whatever studio and taking the occasional group class. They're cheap and well worth it. My wife and I are only middling-level dancers, but you put us in a room with muggles and it's like we're John Travolta and Uma Thurman.

One of my old coworkers. In no way did I find him attractive at all. But he was funny, tall and a lot bigger than me. Then one day he started hugging me out of nowhere, trying to get me to sit on his lap, touching my face, etc. it didn’t weird me out, bc he was so nice to be around. I had a bad phobia of storms and one night when we were closing, a really bad one rolled through, thunder and lighting everywhere. He just hugged me and held my hand and hid me behind him to protect me. It knocked the lights out and he held me as I was like shaking lol nothing more ever happened between us but damn did I want to fuck him.

Physical attractiveness is a foot in the door. There are lots of ways to get your foot in the door, and even if you're using the physical attractiveness way, if you're looking for anything long term there needs to be more. Of course if you're just looking for sex physical attractiveness is pretty much all you need.

Yes. Had a brief sexual relationship with a guy who was not attractive , and of I spent enough time looking at him,(he was super skinny, had a weirdly long and skinny head, terrible teeth and smoked regularly, ) I could definitely tell he wasn't my type but for some reason we had insane sexual chemistry and I would get so horny when I was around him.

There is a friend of mine I met on Facebook. We've one mutual friend but never crossed paths. I accepted his friend request anyways. I saw his pictures and was not into him. Talked anyways and he's great to talk to. Several months go by, we meet irl. First visual assessment: he's a foot and a half taller, slouching, looks like he's 4 months past due for a haircut, skinny but pot bellied, goofy smile, gross cheesy looking teeth. I'm not impressed at all. I hug him. My face to his chest and I'm suddenly VERY into him. He's got this intense way of studying you when you're doing your thing like he's memorizing the way you move. I read somewhere that described it as sticky eyes. Head turns first and the eyes follow only when they must and you're the first thing he's looking at when he turns back. After first meeting, he could look at me and I'd soak my panties. A hug would make me even hornier. Even after I found out he lived in a pig sty and had a smaller than average dick, I still creamed for him. To this day, I can't find anything visually attractive about him but he still turns me on. I can only chalk it up to the way he smells.

Evolutionary biology/psychology in particular is a field that’s been consistently criticized for its essentialism and sexism. It’s by no means the only explanation nor even the most reliable or credible.

Beauty just gets the foot in the door easily. It really matters if all you want to do is hang out in the foyer for a bit, or deliver a package, but there's lots of ways to get the door to start opening. They just tend to build slower.

I really like a person who is oblivious to social conventions and just does their own thing... I had a professor years ago, a very unfit man with a very high hairline yet insisted on wearing the remaining hair long and curly. He was Turkish teaching in the southern US and had traveled the world. "You are all so quiet today. Maybe I should sing a song." And then when we agreed, he would chicken out. I always wanted to know him more intimately.

There was this girl I used to work with who had an extremely goofy looking face. None of it fit together, her ears stuck out, she had rabbit teeth, and a bit of a crossed eye. She was also awkward and a bit on the slow side. Somehow, I found her very attractive in a purely sexual way.

Not exactly, more like I'm aware other people don't consider my partner attractive but he's fucking gorgeous to me. Never understood my sister's attraction to her husband until I bet my bf and had a light bulb moment.

It's hard for me to even separate "physically attractive" from other types of attractiveness. The way I separate things out in my head, I don't really have a category for "physical attractiveness". If you pick a person, I can tell you if I feel sexually attracted to them, and somewhat separately, I can say if I feel romantically attracted to them.

I don't really feel like I can rate people on an "attractiveness" scale though...that concept is a little alien to me, and when I see others (usually men) doing it, I find my own attraction often doesn't line up with it.

Like I definitely have met a lot of people who don't fit the conventional model of attractiveness yet who are intensely attractive to me, often much more so than people who fit the mold.

Sort-of...but...for me, smell is much more important than how a person looks, and smell would still be a physical trait.

There are a lot of people who look really attractive to me in a picture, but when we're in the same space, the energy just isn't there and smell can be a big part of it.

Also...even if I'm just telling you how attractive I find someone based on a picture, I'm not sure that's purely "physical attractiveness" because a huge portion of this is that the person might remind me of someone I found very attractive or very unattractive, or something about the person might tap into some cultural cues that again could have either effect by association.

I haven't come in a girl's pussy in a couple of years, a short overweight annoying girl really wanted to fuck me. I basically just did it because I was desperate, but there is something kinky about sticking my dick and a girl that was so unattractive. It felt like I was doing something wrong, and that turns me on. She really liked me, but it felt kind of good to take advantage of her.

She didn't think I was attracted to her, and I had a good time lying about it. I stripped down completely naked in front of her, and ask her to pull up her shirt. I instantly got a rock-hard boner as soon as I saw her breasts. I told her I had no control over it, and my dick only gets hard the girls I'm attracted to. she said she'd never seen anyone get hard like that for her and to turn her on. I got her to have sex completely naked on top of the sheets with the lights on the first time. I just wanted to be able to see my dick stuck in the ugliest girl I was ever going to fuck. But it made her feel really good I'm fixed some body image issues.

I also was able to prove how attractive I thought she was but doing things like pulling out and fucking or twice without going soft. As it turns out she was a really really good and making me come, and she felt really sexy when she made me have an orgasm. She became obsessed with me blowing my load. She used to finger herself and jerk me off, you should have an orgasm when she saw me coming. I did a good job of convincing her got my load squirts on my dick because she's so sexy and turns me on so much that I just can't control it.

In the end she ended up teaching me to eat a girl out, make a girl come during sex, have more than one orgasm during sex,and otherwise how to make a girl feel good when I fucked her instead of just stuffing my cock in her pussy and filling it up.

One of my favorite things we did was she would try to blow me make me come all over myself and I would try the square my whole load in her mouth. I always won. look of disgust on her face when she realized her mouth was full of semen was very very satisfying to see. In the end that was the only thing I ever really did to take advantage of her, but she wanted to make me happy so bad and she would let me do the most disgusting thing she can imagine with my cock in your mouth, just to make me happy.

So instead of her being a come dumpster, she ended up being some of the best sex I ever had.