Slaughterhouse EP

E1; 2011

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Slaughterhouse are arguably the first hip-hop collective birthed by web-based crowdsourcing. Joell Ortiz, Crooked I, Joe Budden, and Royce Da 5'9" didn't have much in common other than extroverted online presences and an increasing lack of solo options, but their philosophical alignment and mutual respect led to this collaboration. In spite of the dismal sales of their 2009 self-titled LP, these guys do have fans-- most importantly, Eminem, who signed them (along with Yelawolf) to a newly reinvigorated Shady Records.

The Slaughterhouse EP is a stopgap release to piggyback off this bit of positive PR. Problem is, it won't change anybody's mind about Slaughterhouse. EP kicks off with "Back on the Scene", a presumed mission statement featuring Dres of Black Sheep. But whatever goodwill can be wrung out of a hip-hop track as beloved as "The Choice Is Yours", "Back on the Scene" is just more proof that, in the hands of Slaughterhouse, anything can become a charmless headbanger boogie. You get neither the joy or hunger of a newcomer nor the confidence or accomplishment of veterans, just the clock-punching diligence of people who've been plugging away at the same job far too long.

Otherwise, it's more of the same lyrical combat, accomplished and workmanlike but never overly flashy in terms of technique. "You get more for your money when you fuck with Mr. Porter," goes the salutation on "Sun Doobie", while the clinical piano plinks and snare claps roll off the same assembly line Dr. Dre and his associates have been manning for the past half-decade. An eight-minute Slaughterhouse track is a daunting enough prospect, and the autobiographical "Move On (Remix)" is saddled with overbearing R&B dramatics and maudlin orchestral sweetener. Hardly any individual personality is allowed to emerge within Slaughterhouse's stiflingly narrow topical scope, any hot rhyme (mostly courtesy of Royce) feeling weirdly redundant.

Considering his penchant for unintentionally self-defeating press quotes and dubious rhymes, Sheek Louch would make a perfect fit as the fifth member of Slaughterhouse. Yet tellingly, he absolutely blows them away on "Put Some Money on It (Remix)", exhibiting the sort of lovable charisma beyond the reach of his hosts. It's not too much of a problem on the surface: Plenty of rappers pale in comparison to the L.O.X., but once again, Slaughterhouse presumably exist because because real MC'ing doesn't move units. And yet ultimately Slaughterhouse EP functions in the same way the LP did, essentially asking you how much third-tier throwback rap you need in your life.