It was ironic. All the hours spent dreading this moment, this harsh reality; dreading the damning decision that would have to be made. Irony was that it wasn't my enemy that forced it. It would've been easier then, acceptable, another kink in my already twisted existence. No - it was you who forced me.

"Decide InuYasha," you whispered death pale lips pulled tight, your bow drawn taunt aimed not for me - no, then it would've been easy to die for you, for us - but for you/her.

I never really had to choose. Instinct took over long before my mind rationalized the situation. She was in danger, it mattered not that it was you on the other end of the bow. I knew only one desperate fear driven desire - to protect you/her as I had failed you.

And what can you do but laugh? In the face of such tragedy with your white-hot tears scaring your face with their innocence, burning away what goodness was left in you, you throw back your head and guffaw like a madman howling at the moon until everything is gone inside and you are as empty as the clay pot of a woman you destroyed.

And somewhere between the mess of insanity and grief, the laughter becomes empty and hollow, hiccupping into stifled sobs that burn in your chest and rip through your sides even as new tears - no longer innocent - spill down your reddened cheeks as everything inside shreds into a thousand pieces sending you to your knees desperately holding onto any semblance of the reality you used to know holding the broken pieces to your heart like a shattered doll, whimpering like the dog beast you are.