Thursday, May 8, 2008

The hubby's meal was GREAT! He made a low fat baked potato dip for chips (like a loaded potato, only mixed up and creamy....SO good), mediterranean pizza (yum), and a fruit type of pie with a gram cracker crust, low fat pudding, and some fruits strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries) with a gnosh (sp?) sauce type of thing. The whole meal was @ 700 calories. If this is what happens when he cooks, sign me up!

I realized something last night. It's something most people know, but that I'm learning. I can say no to myself. And, life will be ok. It's just that easy. You see, I ruminate about food. Constantly. I'm always looking to the clock for when I can eat again. Sometimes I can wait, but most of the time I just give in and eat on the spot. The problem is that it's never enough...I'm never satisfied because the compulsive thoughts don't ever go away. But, last night I told myself "You ate a great meal, you're not hungry, no...you don't need it so eat in the morning. The food will still be there tomorrow." It was calming....no anxiety that usually happens (like, what, if I don't eat it now it will dissappear?). No guilt. I feel pretty good about it this morning :)The power is slowly becoming mine instead of the food ruling me.

I was thinking...instead of thinking I deserve to eat this or that because I worked hard, or I ate better the rest of the day...why not "I deserve to be healthy and fit!" Maybe that will be my new mantra :)