Friday, November 5, 2010

We have all heard about it, or possibly experienced it, an 'Out of Body Experience'. The more I think about this statement, the more I feel as though it is completely backwards. As far as I am concerned, this situation occurs with the outside influence of a natural, or unnatural substance, ingested into the body, and therefore causes one to feel 'disconnected' with oneself.

I sit here and reflect upon any time I, personally, have felt such a feeling, and I have stumbled upon a different realization. Instead of it feeling as though I am leaving my body, sometimes I feel as though I am sinking so far *into* myself, towards the darkest demons that linger in my subconscious, dictating my thoughts and emotions, steering me towards self-destruction. Toying with the parts of my brain that control rationalization, reality from fantasy, fact from fiction, love from lust. Spinning me wildly out of control until it wears off and I am left with the reminisce of the moments before mixed with what remains my day to day?

Do we choose to consider this 'out of body' because the force of being pulled inside yourself causes you to run away and feel like you are looking upon your reflection from another's shoes? Are we so afraid to face what we truly fear that we mask the pain and find a way to go completely numb? Is it better to feel pain or love, than nothing at all, or vice versa? Does numbness substitute reality so we can get through each day; is it better to exist than live? Or is this just a temporary state of mind that we embrace to feel as though we no longer, for that moment, have to accept our lives as our own?

Just a little twist on a common phrase we have all heard...what are your thoughts?