Certainly you woke up this morning and thought to yourself, "I'd love to see Justin Bieber's mom naked." Prayers may get answered: Pattie Lynn Mallette has been offered $50,000 to pose topless. Cue the beaver jokes. [Radar Online]

Lilly Allen's dog was attacked by another dog — again! Lily calls it a "bite and run incident." Poor puppy. [The Sun]

Jason Bateman was waiting in line with the plebes to get an iPhone, and when an Apple dude came and told the actor to cut the line and come on inside, the techies still waiting booed him. [Us Magazine, TMZ]

Vienna and The Bachelor were back together for a 2-hour reunion special or some shit and the atmosphere was "emotionally charged" or whatever. [NYDN]

50 Cent wants to get kids active in the community and teach them to avoid the street life: They do what they're influenced to do… "I want to be able to go and talk to them and [have] them really feel what my experience has been… I had no options: It was go on welfare or go in the street." He also says when he was a kid he would stay active by playing basketball or boxing. "You don't see that anymore — Technology is keeping them still." [NYDN]

A teenage juror was kicked out of court for wearing a T-shirt reading "Who The Fuck Is Kanye West?"

Katherine Jackson thinks the father of the boy who first accused Michael Jackson of molestation committed suicide because he knew the allegation was a lie — according to the book she is about to release. [TMZ]

Michael Jackson was in debt when he died, but he his estate has since earned more than $250 million. Seriously? The kids deserve not to worry about money right now. [CBS News]

A stripper says she saw Dr. Conrad Murray drinking at a strip club the night Michael Jackson died. Why are we just hearing about it now? She says management told staffers not to talk about it because they didn't want to get involved. [TMZ]

Ugh, what a mess: "Michael Jackson's parents — just like the fans — have no right to exploit MJ's name and likeness. That right belongs solely and exclusively to the estate of Michael Jackson." [TMZ]

At the link: A Never-before-seen photograph of Michael Jackson with blue glitter on his eye. [NYDN]

Michael Jackson's estate is keeping control of the rights to more than 250 Beatles songs. [NYDN]

Bring on the hookers and blow: Neil Patrick Harris will reprise his role as Neil Patrick Harris in A Very Harold And Kumar Christmas. [NYDN]

Edie Falco got the honor of having a caricature of her face up on the wall at Sardi's in New York. [UPI]

Mel Gibson has filed a restraining order against his the mother of his seven-month-old daughter. The case is sealed so we don't know what's up, but since he has seven kids and an ex-wife perhaps some time alone to think would be a good idea? [Radar Online]

The 59-year-old lady who's accused of walloping Bam Margera with a pipe is being held for trial on counts of aggravated assault. [USA Today]

The police in Palm Springs are convinced that they have the right man in custody in the Jeremy London kidnapping case. Do you think that the dude kidnapped Jeremy and forced him to "smoke drugs" knowing no one would ever believe it? Because that is genius. [Radar Online]

Meat Loaf: In talks to be on the next Celebrity Apprentice. [Page Six]

"Oh I don't do interviews about my life. I don't sell my life. I don't have to talk publicly about my life. I don't want to comment on my life." — Vanessa Paradis, while doing press for her new film, Heartbreaker. [Independent]

Q: What do you say to critics like author Stephen King who say you are not a great prose stylist? James Patterson: "I am not a great prose stylist. I'm a storyteller. There are thousands of people who don't like what I do. Fortunately, there are millions who do." [Time]

Q: What is a Devo love song? Mark Mothersbaugh: "I think when we sing about love it's more about the psychology of desire. It's a little bit nerdy and analytical in some ways, even when Jerry [Casale] is writing a song about being rejected again. [Time]

"I don't give a shit man. I've done so many photoshoots and they're pretty much all the same. I go in there, do my thing, take my shirt off, get my hair and my make-up done and they dress me," he continued. "I take the pictures and wherever they end up, they end up. As long as I look good, that's all I care about." — Jersey Shore's Vinny is not worried about being on the cover of the Village Voice's Queer Issue. [Access Hollywood]