When was the last time they had any (even if negligible) online impression?

That’s right! Last year’s Valentine’s. Right an year after the Valentine’s of 2016.

See, even though the dal (group) is a member of RSS family of organisations, they are not trusted with much tasks by their parent organization (And we know why). The 2500-people-strong group loiters around whole year from one dispute to another just to feel useful and part of the loop.

Even RSS made sure that no real job lands to Bajrang dal. But hey, every dog needs a bone to play with and hence all the disputed matters of party and Hindutva goes to dal inevitably.

One of the main goals of the Dal is to build the Ramjanmabhoomi temple in Ayodhya, the Krishnajanmabhoomi temple in Mathura and the Kashi Vishwanath temple in Varanasi, which are currently disputed places of worship. Other goals include protecting India’s “Hindu” identity from the perceived dangers of communism, Muslim demographic growth and Christian conversion, as well as the prevention of cow slaughter. –Wikipedia

So apart from creating disarray and disorganization in the disputed places of worship and Hindutva, Bajrang dal does nothing else. Infact, they are so free, you call one guy and 3 more will come with him.

I guess Bajrang Dal sensed their incompetence of how were they getting left behind from the rest of the world and thus, they called in for an urgent 2500-people meeting. And what does a group which has known nothing else than commotion and upheaval conclude upon? Destroy something else more.

I presume, after brainstorming in hours, some bald paunchy uncle shared his idea of beating couples and some other 25-year old loser told the group about Valentine’s day. Voila, the group now had their own product. Beating couples and marrying them of off forcefully on Valentine’s day.

And that’s how children, I could not meet your mother?

So even though it might be your festival of expressing love and asking that out-of-your-league girl out for dinner, it is Diwali to them. Infact bigger than Diwali, I presume. It is their in a way their Valentine’s day too because they have nothing else to love other than their work and the 2500-people-strong family.

So even though you are single, go out with a friend in park this evening. Just to throw a bone to our Bajrang brothers. Because this is the ONLY thing they have and we wouldn’t want them to face disappointment at such a day.

And when they catch you, play along, make a scared face, apologise to them, and walk out a humble guy who took one for his inefficient and incapable brothers.