KDs are designed/developed/inspired/mused/auto-suggested/indigested to make folks think; an especially uncommon experience among Democrats, Republicans, and jingoistic mainline denominationalists who continue to discourage dissent with their ever-threatening thought police.

That came to mind as my predecessor and I laughed and almost cried about two folks - one formerly related to his current ministry and one formerly related to mine - who judged us to be unfit for their affirmation, association, and affection.

He said she or he turned people against him.

I said she or he turned people against me.

He said she or he had always been looking for that special something that would end the affirmation, association, and affection.

I said she or he had always been looking for that special something that would end the affirmation, association, and affection.

He said he knows how I feel.

I said I know how he feels.

He knows her/him.

I know her/him.

We agreed the only difference between them and us is we know we aren't perfect.

Speaking of hypocrisy, the "Click It or Ticket" campaign comes to mind.

Surely, I know it's smarter to click it than otherwise.

Duh.

Aside from wondering how young lovers, uh, ride around like, uh, we used to ride around if they've clicked it, I just find it rather ironic to hypocritical that government insists on people clicking it for their own safety while putting the unborn at risk for other personal comforts.

It's almost as ridiculous as churches that say they want more young people to come to church while singing from hymnbooks printed in the 50s and expecting 'em to wear clothes increasingly restricted to lawyers, politicians, non-emerging pastors, undertakers, and other, uh, folks playing roles that also don't change with the times.

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I'm a police chaplain as well as a pastor, professor, and author of non-bestselling books; so I understand cops are only doing what they're told when they ticket those who don't click it.

Still, I wonder why whoever establishes such priorities insists on spending so much $ on ticketing the unclicked when our cities, suburbs, and even rural areas are increasingly infested, infected, and injected by gangs, illegals, terrorists, and other, uh, really, uh, violent, uh, profiles.

Parenthetically, I know "illegals" are the new heroes of PCers; but it's also well-documented that a very, very, very high % of 'em are running from rather than to something.

Maybe I'm as out of it as people who think churches and pastors should talk more about Jesus than Rush, Rachel, Keith, Sean, or, uh, gasp, gulp, sigh, their franchises.

Call me crazy, but I'd rather the fine women and men in law enforcement patrol neighborhoods to keep really bad guys from hurting people for a variety of criminal intentions.

The "Click It and Ticket" obsession seems so silly juxtaposed to what's really threatening most people's life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

It just seems like comparing a BB gun to heavy artillery.

It just seems like bad stewardship to me.

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Again, I think it's a great idea to click it.

I just think there are more important things that can be done with the decreasing resources and personnel of law enforcement that's supposed to protect citizenry.

Let me put it another way.

My predecessor and I have decided to ticket people who think they're better than everybody else.

Monday, May 24, 2010

The first frame of my favorite cartoon strip depicts a pastor praying on his knees in a church's sanctuary.

The second frame shows his secretary on the telephone.

The third frame betrays why so many churches not to mention countries are so messed up as the secretary hovers over the pastor with phone to her ear while he's still praying and says, "Oh, it's O.K. He can talk to you right now about the ushers for next month. He's not doing anything important."

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I'm reminded of an early Sunday morning in the sanctuary of Winston-Salem's First Presbyterian Church (NC) so many years ago as the delivery guy for the local florist showed up while an associate pastor and I were praying.

Without any reference to Reformed architecture or sensitivity to James 5:16-18, he asked, "I was told these are for the communion table. How do you want them arranged?"

Turning to Stimp, I asked, "Do you remember the rubrics for that from floral arranging class in seminary?"

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Continuing with fact over fiction, I was interviewed for a job a long time ago that was totally wrong for me.

I kinda knew it; but a pastor about my age right now back then really knew it.

He challenged, "You have a reputation as a man of prayer; so I suggest you pray on this for a season and then get back to us."

I didn't.

I took the job.

It turned out to be the worst ecclesiastical experience of my life.

Confessionally, I was known for being a man of prayer; but I really wasn't.

Oh, I could preach, lecture, and write about it quite passionately and persuasively with Biblical/confessional/constitutional precision.

But as far as actually doing it...

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All of that came to mind late last night and a few hours after midnight as I struggled with not meeting my own exaggerated expectations as well as the unrealistic ones of...

Coupling that with other concerns that used to be addressed at ordination - "You have promised to make it your particular duty so to provide for him in material things that he may be free to give his whole time to the Church and to the Presbytery without distraction or unnecessary anxiety" (The Book of Common Worship, 1946) - I have been at the borders of burn out or depression or...

Then He spoke through the Psalmist: "I am at rest in God alone...He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I will never be shaken...Rest in God alone."

Jesus spoke, "Tarry with Me."

So I did.

And His promise came alive in me because He is: "God inhabits the praises of His people."

I think that's what Max Lucado was trying to say in writing, "Drink deeply, linger awhile...When you turn to Him for help, He runs to you to help...Before you face the day, face the Father. Before you step out of bed, step into His presence" (Mocha with Max, 2005).

Ironic.

We often spend so much time telling others how to turn trickles into rivers that we don't have enough time left over to tap into Him for ourselves; and if that sounds selfish, keep in mind that taking care of your own relationship with Him precedes any ability/facility/efficacy for enabling others to tap into Him.

Again, Max: "If you don't know how to stop, the result can be painful...Ever feel as if you need to get away? So did Jesus...'Early the next morning, while it was still dark, Jesus woke and left the house. He went to a lonely place, where He prayed.'"

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Individually as well as corporately, it's a 2 Chronicles 7:14 thing.

That's a strained segue for these strong words from a prophet in South Carolina: "The business of America is not business...Our coins don't declare, 'In Investment We Trust.' Our pledge of allegiance does not declare us 'one nation under the Stock Market'...From the beginning, the American enterprise has been a spiritual one."

He admits, "I'll not deny that there were very definite economic and imperial interests that played a part in the exploration and colonization of the Western Hemisphere. But doing the will of God, the God of the Bible, to the glory of God always figured largely in the plans and purposes of the early colonists."

He warns, "Though many are suffering from unemployment and financial ruin, straightening out the economy should not be the country's top priority. For when the CEO of this land can proclaim with some satisfaction that America is no longer a Christian land, it is evident that we suffer from a bankruptcy of faith far more serious than the loss of even billions of dollars. America is in danger of losing its soul, if, in fact, it is not already lost."

Referring to 2 Chronicles 7:14 with gusto, he concludes, "And don't come back with the separation of church and state argument. I am not suggesting we elect pastors to office...[Thank God! Look at what they've done to His Church! Or to quote Woody Allen's artist in Hannah and Her Sisters, "If Jesus were to come back and see what's being done in His name, He'd never stop throwing up!"]...But if we don't start putting believers into positions of government, all we will be able to say about America after a bit more than 200 years is that it is going out of business."

Even the 12 year old Jesus understood that.

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I had to get back to God to get back to...

Created by One, it's/He's the only answer for what's ailing us.

Individually.

Corporately.

Existentially.

Eternally.

If you're like me and everybody else, you're being driven to your knees.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Uncle Sam's family has become a technicolor fabric of socioeconomic diversity; or putting it crudely, Will Herberg's triple melting pot has become a mongrel nation.

The symbols are everywhere from the White House to professional sports to the latest beauty pageant; and while I'm wondering if there are any Mexicans still living in Mexico, history reminds us that America was built by folks who moved from there to here.

Rednecks may not want to admit it buuuuuuut immigration was/remains in America's DNA.

FDR put it this way while addressing and simultaneously ___ing off the DAR, "My fellow immigrants..."

Sure, we wanna make sure our newest family members do it legally 'cause we don't want any ___heads slipping across the borders with WMDs to take out Beloit, Wisconsin or Kansas City, Kansas or some druggies to cash in on the corruptibility of citizenry who wanna be anesthetized from what's bummin' 'em out or some...

Yet, equally sure, we've always welcomed/adopted new members into the family just like we via our ancestors were welcomed/adopted.

Psst.

And for those who say Jesus is their Lord, He never shuts the door to folks who want to pursue life, liberty, and happiness; meaning if you're gonna say you love Him, you better start loving like Him and expand all of your borders.

He says, "Come to Me - everyone who is weary and burdened and looking for a fresh start!"

Hmm.

Don't we have a big statue in the big apple that paraphrases Him on that?

If you're gonna tell people to go back to where they belong, it might not be a bad idea to do it yourself by way of example.

They belong here as much as you do because you were them from there before you arrived here.

And, uh, what's His golden rule and, uh, what about those social ethics in Matthew 25 and, uh, what about agape and, uh, what about...?

Or something like that.

America is a nation of mixed breeds; and, in a Christian kinda way, we've always prided ourselves on that.

I just hope those old minorities don't team up on the old majority and treat 'em like some of 'em treated 'em.

Speaking of memberships, the support staff for our family of faith is superb.

While I could have done without some of the members that I inherited who've made it clear that they can do without me, I could/can never do without the staff that He graced on me when I arrived five years ago.

Indeed, I've made a deal with one of 'em that I'm following her/him out the door when she/he retires.

Though I think they kinda like me by virtue of not having quit since I arrived, I really like them and include praises to God for them every day.

Oh, yeah, back to membership...

Two of our staffers responsible for maintaining the membership roll(s) as delegated by the session/board of the church called me down/out from my study for me to review their latest lopping off miscreants; otherwise known as folks who don't show up or pay up.

After I said lots of pastors like to pad the rolls to make 'em look good - "Mine is bigger than yours!" - and that it's almost to the point that the only people we're keepin' on our roll are those who, uh, show up or pay up, they said quite simultaneously, "Why should we pay per capita tax to the denomination for people who aren't really proving to be members of the church and what integrity is there for keeping them on the roll if they aren't going to...and...and...and...?"

O.K., O.K., O.K.

They were/are right at the expense of my fragile ecclesiastical ego and the franchise's declining revenue.

Mine seems to be getting smaller.

Anyway, I've decided to recommend something even more radical/rooted to Biblical/confessional/constitutional integrity.

If someone who is able doesn't worship with us regularly - except when there's a really important game on the dope box or something else more important than honoring the One who died a miserable death as the price of guaranteeing the eternity that enables confident living through the meantime comes down - I'm gonna suggest...

Let me put it another way.

If everyone - granted, a stretch - knows the most essential evidence of membership in the Church is corporate as well as individual worship as explained in Holy Scripture, confirmed by historical/traditional confessions, and upheld by the constitutions of even mainline denominations, then the status of anyone's membership can be easily determined by...

Measuring the integrity of anyone's claim to membership in the Kingdom ain't rocket science.

Patterned after "Howard and Kopp with Real People" (scroll down to the 5/3 edition or google "Howard and Kopp with Real People") that came close to national syndication about a decade ago, you can keep up with the schedule of guests and rebroadcasts by clicking on www.bnnsradio.com or www.koppdisclosure.com.

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Typically, KD ain't collectin' any coin for it; though you can always click on Woodstock Harley-Davidson via www.koppdisclosure.com and buy a gift certificate for a Road King or full service or latest advertising attire.

Just being, uh, serious.

If you want to know more about how you can sponsor the show and help expand KD's iconoclastic beruf, contact the station's founder and manager at bnnsradio@gmail.com.

Unfortunately for Democrats, Republicans, mainliners, and other apostates and idolaters, Kathie (a future radio guest) and the rest of our KD staff (moi) will continue this site until the thought police completely take over church as well as state.

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Speaking of stretching - check out Matthew 9:14-17 - our family of faith is in a building program; expectantly called our "Blessings Campaign."

Well, uh, actually, already, it has been a blessing to anyone who gets Matthew 9:14-17.

It's also been a blessing to know some folks still think God is alive and active among His people who want to build upon the best of the past for a better future.

Admittedly, one flea can make a big dog itch; and we've been scratchin' a bit.

It goes back a long time with a cast of characters who bring Judas to mind; but I'm not about to spread our poopy laundry through cyberspace.

Psst.

I will talk about it with anyone on Tuesday mornings at Starbucks or Thursday mornings at Cuppa Joe's for a gift certificate to...

Let's just say some my-way-or-the-highway kinda folks have pretended/rationalized their infidelities in darkly spiritualized auto-suggestions.

The overwhelming majority have been up with it while two handfuls or less have been down on it.

Interesting metaphor.

Be that as it is and will always be as the garden virus continues to infect people, the only thing that will keep us from incarnation is $.

Kinda like the Road King.

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From the tough-times-don't-build-character-but-rather-expose-it department, one family member has become my latest hero of faith.

She/he didn't/doesn't like all of the plans or phases (the batting order) of incarnating the previously and unanimously established priorities.

She/he was quite vocal about it; which is encouraged as well as laudable in our ecclesiastical franchise's polity.

Dang, I'd rather have someone in my face than stabbin' me in the back.

Anyway, when I recommended her/his substantial seed gift be returned because, well, uh, I thought that was/remains the right thing to do if somebody isn't really with the program, she/he said she/he didn't want her/his $ back and plans to give more once ground is broken.

She/he doesn't believe it's remotely "Christian" to pick up your marbles and go play other games when you don't get your way; which means she/he must have read Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12-13, or something like that.

How different/refreshing from too many people in church and society these days.

She/he really gets the message in Matthew 20:20-28; bringing to mind a few lines from Pastor Bob Gass through The Vine (5/16/10): "Comedian Red Allen said, 'You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.' So, how can you work it right? By living by your convictions every day; do that, and you will have no regrets. Living a life of integrity involves...thinking regularly about your values and letting them soak in...constantly measuring your choices against God's Word...We get into trouble when our convictions and our impulses collide. When everything's going our way, it is not difficult to live by our convictions...Spiritual people do what is right, no matter how they feel about it."

God has given another hero to me - someone who knows it's not all about her/him but...

She/he has refreshed my soul from too much time with refuse; or rather folks who refuse to...

Regardless, an occasional gem amid the fiberglass reflects His light into our lives; and, as the Christophers say, "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness."

And that's what we're trying to disclose in these pages and starting on 5/18.

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Blessings and Love!

Ps. Be sure to go to www.koppdisclosure.com to view a full schedule of guests on The Kopp Disclosure Radio Show! - Kathie

Friday, May 14, 2010

"Interviewing real people on the cutting edge ofecclesiastical/political/cultural evolution"

Today's guest is...

Yes, that's right! Kopp Disclosure is coming to internet radio courtesy of www.bnnsradio.com beginning on May 18, 2010!

Watch, uh, listen to live broadcasts and re-broadcasts by staying in, uh, tune with the schedule of www.bnnsradio.com by staying in, uh, tune with the schedule by clicking on www.bnnsradio.com!

As usual, KD ain't making any $ on this adventure; though you can always contact Woodstock Harley-Davidson (Woodstock, Illinois) and get KD a gift certificate for a Road King or oil change or full service for his old mule or latest advertising attire!

Just being serious.

Staying on a serious tone, if you would like to know how to sponsor the show and help expand KD's iconoclastic call, contact the founder and manager of www.bnnsradio.com at bnnsradio@gmail.com!

The world and too many churches may be going to hell, butKD's joining you to point people in the other direction!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

On my way for a quick nine with my favorite Special Olympics golf champion very early on the Wednesday after Tuesday's presbytery meeting that included dismissing a church to another franchise (see the report in a forthcoming edition of www.presbyweb.com or www.ChurchandWorld.com), I stopped for some warm caffeine and gas and ran into a faithful member of First who was just getting off work.

He asked how things were going; and I said, "Well, I went to a presbytery meeting that seemed like an ecclesiastical version of 24."

Ignoring the denominational stuff like most Christians today, He pressed, "I've heard lots about 24, but I've never seen it. What's it about?"

Insisting on coupling both shows, I said, "It's about espionage, terrorism, deceit, wolves in sheep's clothing, love/lust/adultery, selling your soul for money, defying basic values of common decency, turning your back on God and country, and, essentially, about everything going to hell in a handbasket."

When you try to remind 'em that only the real Jesus was/is never wrong, they look like you've committed blasphemy or they didn't make it to the restroom in time.

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Mel Kiper, Jr. comes to mind.

He's the NFL draft guru who talks with divine authority about who should be drafted by whom.

He's never wrong.

For example, he is convinced Notre Dame's latest messiah, JC (him not Him), should have been drafted in the first round instead of Tim Tebow.

Despite the commendations of people who've actually taken a snap or two in their lives, his hair almost stood on end (a real miracle if you know what I mean) when Denver took the gator instead of the messiah in the first round.

How could the Broncos buck somebody who's never wrong?

Maybe it's because they remembered Mel's effusive praise for JaMarcus Russell back in 2007: "Three years from now you could certainly be looking at a guy who is certainly one of the elite top-five quarterbacks in this league...Once he's under center, look out, because the skill level he has is certainly John Elway-like."

Oops.

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Staying with popular messianic expectations, Susan Page and Mimi Hall, who prove babes haven't stopped fainting at the sight/scent of the main man, wrote for USA Today (5/12/10), "Historians say President Obama's legislative record during a crisis-ridden presidency already puts him in a league with such consequential presidents as Lyndon Johnson and Franklin Roosevelt."

Whoa.

Not bad after less than two years.

I hope he lives up to the premature hyperbole.

You gotta want him to succeed in a Christian kinda way for God's sake along with everybody else's.

But, c'mon, he's still strictly OJT without a perceivable clue when it comes to the economy, religious nutballs of all flavors, national security, and global warfare; though his two Supreme Court nominees are hardly as bad as anybody who knows anything about his nutty buddies would have predicted.

Again, I hope and pray He's the, uh, real not just new deal for America.

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Staying with folks who see a little too much of Jesus in their mirrors, Tuesday's presbytery meeting was kinda sad.

Whenever folks divorce from each other, especially Christians who should know better, Jesus weeps in a John 17 kinda way.

I'm tired of messiahs from left and right who talk/act/appear so high and mighty when it comes to people who don't agree with them.

I'm tired of messiahs from left and right who tell us to "trust the process" until it doesn't confirm their divine discernments; which is when they talk/act/appear like any other malcontent/miscreant.

Go to www.pcusa.org for jingoistic rationalizations and www.layman.org for schismatic rationalizations; then split the difference to discover the...

Or as one of the sober voices said on Tuesday, "Instead of condemning churches that want to leave us, maybe we should take a look in the mirror and ask why they want to leave us?"

Nah.

Why bother with that when you're/we're/I'm always right?

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Though the ideologically/navel-gazing more than theologically/Biblically/Christocentrically bent won't want to do this because it could/would/should conflict with what's in their mirrors, they may want to check out a few, uh, geez, gasp, sigh, c'mon, darn, Bible verses.

Proverbs 12:16; 20:3; 29:11.

Romans 12:3-5.

1 Corinthians 13.

Ephesians 4:29-32.

Philippians 2:3-4.

2 Timothy 2:23-24.

James 4:1-2.

1 Peter 3:8-10.

Sorry.

That's so backward by mainline, uh, standards.

Standards?

Anyway, maybe we need to go back, uh, to the future.

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Actually, I want to thank Don Hecox for putting those verses together for me.

I got 'em on the Wednesday after the Tuesday presbytery meeting that he didn't know/care about.

Coincidental for mainliners/secularists (synonyms more often than not).

Providential for believers.

Anyway, he also wrote this poem on 5/10/10 that reminded me of all of the above:

You're seldom right, I'm never wrong. and I have known that all along, the place I always struggle though, is helping you - so you can know.

I think it's such a blessing that, I spread the word where I am at, so even others - most like you, can come to know my point of view.

It's often not a mystery - it's not a deep profundity, it's simply born of common sense, and that is why I'm always tense.

It's almost always obvious - though others seem oblivious, I know it well - I saw it fast, my words, you'll see are built to last.

So God has placed me here on earth, to help increase your sense of worth, to give you hope and help you see, you'll have it right eventually.

I'll guide you like a special friend, you'll find you're always on the mend, I'll push and pull and poke and prod, alerting you - lest you should nod.

I'm on the job - it's how I work, I guess it's just my special quirk, this process of remaking you, is paramount in all I do.

I've said, they're mostly simple things, like choosing how your cellphone rings, and telling you - so you can know, what you should think - where you should go.

What you should say - and with what tone? no need to fret, you're not alone, I'm like your shadow - fit to tell, so you can do it all so well.

I'll teach you how you ought to drive, I'm helping keep us all alive, so stop - no go - now left - then right, just do it please - don't start a fight.

You see, I've been this way before, my wit is what you can't ignore, if I were wrong, I'd tell you so, sit back, relax, I'll run the show.

You ought to laugh, you ought to cry, you ought to give my way a try, you ought to leave, you ought to stay, you ought to see it all my way.

'Cause right is right and wrong is wrong, I've seemed to know it all along, the average guy - the idiot, just hasn't seemed to get it yet.

Who knows, someday the world might see, they've come to know it all like me, and oh - one day I'll be at rest, when all believe - My Way Is Best!

Ouch.

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God does have something divine in mind for us.

We get it/Him by increasing our intimacy with Him; as the Psalmist said, "God inhabits the praises of His people."

The goal: "It is no longer I who live, but Jesus who lives in..."

Break the mirrors!

Look up!

Stand up!

Speak up!

Act up for Jesus!

It's the only Christian thing to do; which would be a lot better than reflections of...

When we were considering opening our home to a high school senior who had been thrown out of his uncle's home after being thrown out of other homes about seven months ago, our youngest asked rhetorically, "Daddy, you're always telling people not to wait for others to do what is right; so why don't we take him in?"

We did.

It was hard to argue with a child telling us, in effect, to practice what we...

Though it turned out to be less than I had hoped for the 19 year old - wanting him to experience and appreciate family - we were obedient at the insistence of our youngest child and our family was reacquainted with agape.

Tough as it turned out to be, it was the right thing to do and we do not regret doing it.

Seeds, sometimes, take a long time to...

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I had lasik surgery about seven years ago; and it worked out just fine for, uh, about five years.

It was an improvement over bifocals; reminding me of Gary Player who said during this year's Masters, "Change is the price of survival."

It's a wineskins thing; making room for the fresh and new and better.

Kinda like using computers instead of #2 pencils.

Anyway, when my golf game started deteriorating and Tyler started whoppin' me and Billy, my favorite Special Olympics Golf Champion, began having second thoughts about me being his partner in a big tournament later this summer along with other lesser considerations, I decided it was time to get a check-up.

I decided to try contacts with my wife and two youngest in attendance.

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I've never worn contacts.

The doctor was skeptical about my ability to adapt to such a, uh, change at my age.

My wife said, "He'll never be able to do it."

Our next to youngest had that look of disbelief on his face.

The nurses were nice.

Then our youngest, who wouldn't leave the room as I tried to put 'em on which was doing little to decrease my anxieties/angst about the challenge and change for someone my age who had never worn contacts, whispered in my ear, "Daddy, I know you can do it. You're always telling people to try new things that can make things better."

I've been wearing 'em ever since.

I can see so much better; or as I said to a Sunday School class yesterday, "You look a lot better than I thought."

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Getting back to Gary Player, "Change is the price of survival."

Yeah, some of life's changes aren't so good - like what's happening to the moral/spiritual fabric of government and mainline denominations in America - but lots are really, really, really helpful in making life better.

And, more often than not for geezers like me, children, so filled with hope and adventure and willingness to try new things to make everything so much better, are God's special apocalyptic agents to expand the old to make room for the new to prove God is alive and well and still blessing people who will dare to trust that there's always room for improvement by His grace.

More often than not, Jesus said the old wasn't/isn't bad; while insisting everything/everyone can get better.

Counting time in the womb because God does, I'm closing in on 60; which means neither of us has as much time left as spent.

After preaching over 35 MD sermons and trying to enable appreciation and affection for other families, I confess a continuing ache/angst in my gut/spirit caused by not being there (home) because I'm here (church).

Though the occupational hazard of making the season bright for everybody else was explained to me long before ordination by our pastor The Rev. Harold F. Mante, I want you to know how much I have missed being with you and dad on Christmas Eve, Easter Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and all the rest. Begging our Lord's indulgence for the comparison, it's part of the cross which pastors carry after ordination to office.

Few congregants have ever acknowledged the sacrifice.

I'm not complaining or attempting to invoke pity or beg your forgiveness.

I'm just hurting again; because of what we've missed over the years.

I thank you for trying to understand and pretending it's been O.K.

I miss you; especially your unconditional love - ain't much of that around these days.

Repeatedly, the Bible compares parental love to our Father's love - loving us just as we are but too much to leave us just as we are.

I'll never forget Dwight White's confession over lunch during doctoral studies so many years ago, "Except for Jesus, moms and dads are God's greatest gifts. Nobody loves us as much as they do. When good things happen to us, nobody is happier. When bad things happen to us, nobody is sadder. Good, bad, or ugly, they never let go of us or run away from us. They live and die for our well-being without counting the cost."

I agree from my experience as your son.

Sadly, as a pastor, I've met some folks who haven't been as fortunate.

Those special days for moms and dads aren't nearly as festive for children who've been abused or abandoned without reconciliation before one or the other's last breath.

Few things have sobered me more than funerals scarred by unreconciled parent-child relationships.

I'm not suggesting I've always been God's "other" son for you.

God knows I've disappointed you on too many occasions despite your best preventive prayers and counsel; but I trust you know I've taken credit for my bad choices, given credit to you for the good ones, and thank Jesus for getting my act somewhat together before parting ways.

A friend's dad died several years ago. I've rarely witnessed such personal and professional paralysis. Though God's grace through the generosity of friends has helped him to rebound, I don't think he'll ever be the same.

That hit close to home after being so far from home for so long.

Surely, several of my dearest friends have gone home to Jesus over the years; and though thoughts are often saturated with remembrances and incarnational longings, my belief in their immortality and our ultimate reunion through Jesus have sustained my existential consolation and eternal hope.

Of course, I don't know how I'll react upon that dreaded inevitability; because nobody's place in my life can compare with our Father's place which Biblical revelation reports as best mirrored in parents.

So as Eric Felack said/warned as we strolled along the 18th fairway in another failed attempt to beat dad and sister in our favorite pastime, "Win or lose, I'd give anything to play one more round with my father. Love 'em while you've got 'em."

I do.

I'm going to share this with my sons and church because I can't think of anything more pastoral than provoking family appreciation and affection.

One more thing.

I worked really hard to be known as The ___.

I didn't do a thing to be your son.

After all these years, I've figured out which means more to you and me.

If you're in a war, you've got to marshal all of your resources to identify, isolate, and eliminate the enemy before she/he wipes out more non-combatants.

It's no time to pander to PCers who'd rather see a bomb go off and kill lots of Cubs fans in the windy city than violate the sensitivities of some Norwegian from Beloit, Wisconsin who passed through security even though she/he fit the profile of...

@#$%

Speaking of profiles, do you remember our special edition on Franklin Graham's dishonorable discharge from the Army (scroll down to 4/25/10)?

Billy's son was disinvited from speaking at the Pentagon on the National Day of Prayer (5/6) because he's not as big on Islam as Christianity (euphemistically speaking).

Well, uh, Franklin shot back on Monday; charging BBPBHO with "giving Islam a pass" rather than exposing the "horrific" treatment of women and minorities in many Islamic states (excluding New Jersey).

He said his dishonorable discharge was/is "a slap at all evangelical Christians" and accused BBPBHO of kinda being behind it; claiming his disinvitation would never have occurred without White House approval/instigation: "I don't know if it's exactly from President Obama, but I'm certain that some of the men around him are very much opposed to what we stand for and what we believe."

He whined, "I'm being restricted from my religious rights, and from what I believe."

He complained about the increasing "secularization" in America being led by you know who.

He warned of the "coming persecution" of Christians in America.

Fanning the flames that fried him already, he claimed, "We certainly love the Muslim people, but that is not the faith of this country. And that is not the religion that built this nation. The people of the Christian faith and the Jewish faith are the ones who built America, and it is not Islam."

Again, he warned, "I think when you preach that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life, I think we're going to see one day that people will say, 'This is hate speech, because you're being so narrow and you're excluding other people.' I believe that. I think we're going to see that come."

Graham is grumpy.

Geez, Franky, you're still welcome in Charlotte.

O.K., the National Day of Prayer itself was ruled unconstitutional by cheesehead Judge Crabb (fits).

Regardless, BBPBHO just signed a proclamation recognizing this year's National Day of Prayer.

But, uh, he is not scheduled to attend any of the day's activities and, unlike predecessors, there ain't no services/events scheduled to be held in the White House.

"Nothing to see here!"

@#$%

@#$%

I just heard of a shut-in who was quoted while sitting at a mall's food court after getting her hair done in another city, "I haven't had home communion in a week...and the church dinner that was boxed and brought to me was awful."

While it's not PC, some people - let's be honest - are such __heads.

I don't know why anyone would want to profile anyone about anything when the only one who is really to blame for everything going so badly is BBPBHO's predecessor.

And if you really think like that, I've got a falafel recipe fresh from Scotland that I'd like to...

Monday, May 3, 2010

The clips at the beginning and end of this edition were used by "Howard and Kopp with Real People" at the beginning and end of our television show which was broadcast by Adelphia Community Cablevision near Pittsburgh over a decade ago.

We talked about faith, interviewed people, and did our iconoclastic worst to confront the culture with an authentic Christology as described by Hans Kung while praying/trying to be on the cutting edge of ecclesiastical evolution: the Church's agenda should be "to discover what is permanent...originally meant, before it was covered with the dust and debris of two thousand years...This is not another gospel, but the same ancient gospel rediscovered for today!"

We were/are just a couple of clergy guys trying to have fun while saying nice things about Jesus and exploring the many ways that our Lord works in the lives of real people.

Posers hated us and tried to hurt us in creepy ways when efforts to control us failed.

Authentics wondered why we wouldn't/couldn't go commercial/national.

Almost.

On the positive side of almost, we did a demo for some outfit in California and finished second to some reality show starring some chick named Paris.

From what I've been told since relocation ended the show, we helped expand some wineskins even while tightening the noose around our necks to the pleasure of posers.

@#$%

I thought about that on Saturday when Ralph interviewed me on a local radio station in the inaugural edition of Food and Fellowship; also reminding me of the fellah who didn't catch the humor when he said to his "church lady" wife, "I hope the pastor appreciated you having him for lunch."

Always eager to talk about Jesus, I was, uh, the, uh, fellowship and a strikingly attractive manager of a local Italian restaurant was, uh, the, uh, food and we had a great time; especially when my mouth was so filled with pasta, cannolis, and other delights that Ralph and Theresa had a chance to talk.

Ralph is a real professional who really likes Jesus; and I expect the show to gain ratings and stay on the air.

Driving back from the show, David Watermulder, an early hero of mine, came to mind; recalling how he introduced Martin E. Marty to a gathering of congregants and clerical wannabes almost 40 years ago, "We share this in common. We will preach anywhere at anytime to anyone about the Lord."

I try.

@#$%

I've been deluged with calls and e-mails since the show; asking if I'd consider doing a weekly gig on radio akin to Ralph's without the food and more like the format of the aforementioned near Iron City.

Well, nobody who runs a station has asked and I don't have time to inquire; but, yeah, I'd do it.

Three conditions.

First, though I'm still paying off the plastic and gotta figure out a way to pay off my modest bill at the golf club behind the house so my kids and wife can play now that they've decided they want to play after years of dissing the whole thing before I even think about buying a Road King and donating a multi-purpose room to the church in honor of my predecessor, I don't want compensation because that would cause a conflict of interest between authenticity and posing and somebody trying to control the content of the show.

Second, I ain't payin' for the time or raisin' $ for the time 'cause my primary call is, remains, and will always be preachin', pastorin', teachin', buryin', and pointin' people to Jesus. In other words, I don't have the time to do that; and if those who want me to do it really want me to do it...

Third, I get to keep the bumper music and bring Howard out of retirement for the inaugural show.

@#$%

Ralph asked on Saturday, "When I read one of your books along with your bio and blog, I got the sense that you feel incomplete; as if something is missing. Care to comment on that?"

Not thinking of the plastic or mule which surprised me afterwards, I answered, "Well, Ralph, I've always felt feeling you've arrived means you haven't started. Our Lord always has new and exciting ways to experience Him and honor Him. He's always got something better in mind for us. He's not dead. He's alive. And I'm trying to be alive in and for Him."