I spent five years at Forbes writing about business and leadership, attracting nearly one million unique visitors to Forbes.com each month. While here, I assistant edited the annual World’s 100 Most Powerful Women package and helped launch and grow ForbesWoman.com. I've appeared on CBS, CNBC, MSNBC and E Entertainment and speak often at conferences and events on women's leadership topics. I graduated summa cum laude from New York University with degrees in journalism and sociology and was honored with a best in business award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers (SABEW) in 2012. My work has appeared in Businessweek, Ladies’ Home Journal, The Aesthete and Acura Style. I live in New York City with my husband and can be found on Twitter @Jenna_Goudreau, Facebook, and Google+.

Are Millennials 'Deluded Narcissists'?

Millennials, the rising superpower in America, counting approximately 80 million citizens between the ages of 18 and 34, are nothing but spoiled, self-involved brats. Right?

That seems to be the prevailing perspective after the release of the latest American Freshman Survey, an annual survey of thousands of college freshman conducted for the last 47 years. In it, some four-fifths of survey respondents rank their “drive to succeed” above average and more students than ever before consider themselves gifted.

To psychiatrist and Fox News contributor Dr. Keith Ablow, this further proves that “we are raising a generation of deluded narcissists.” For the Daily Mail, it underscores a “rocketing sense of entitlement on U.S. campuses,” while The Huffington Post concludes that U.S. college students now “feel super special about themselves.”

Okay. As a millennial myself, I can certainly attest that most members of this generation are in fact self-involved. However, as far as I can tell, most everyone in every generation is self-involved. But “deluded” and “narcissistic” (which until recently was considered a psychiatric disorder by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)? Them’s fightin’ words.

“It’s a shop-worn narrative that’s been circulating for years,” says Hannah Seligson, author of Mission: Adulthood: How the 20-Somethings of Today Are Transforming Work, Love, and Life. “In fact, there’s a whole counter-narrative: We are a socially conscious generation that cares about making an impact. Young people say they want to give back. Volunteer rates are up, and so are applications for service-oriented careers like Teach for America. We are also huge advancers of equality and tolerance, from gay to interracial marriage. So how does all of this square with the theory that we are all narcissists? It doesn’t.”

My colleague J. Maureen Henderson recently burst the bubble of HBO’s Girls and its representation of the generation. If it were true to reality, she says the 20-something New Yorkers would be living at home, struggling with money, career-focused and less self-involved. “Millennials may get a bad rap when it comes to philanthropy,” she writes, “but 75% of them donated to charity in 2011 and 63% volunteered in some capacity.”

So where does this navel-gazing narrative come from? Dr. Ablow attributes his diagnosis of millennial self-love to (1) malleable social media identities that allow users to craft their ideal selves and cultivate mass followings; (2) escapist gaming technology where players can pretend to be heroes and star athletes; and (3) A’s for effort and trophies just for participating.

Yet according to Dan Schawbel, founder of Millennial Branding and author of upcoming Promote Yourself, they’re not alone. “I would agree that there is some sense of entitlement and narcissism,” he says, “but it’s clearly rubbing off on older generations now that they are all on social networks posting pictures of themselves.”

Meanwhile, I can’t help but wonder: When did it become a bad thing to want to succeed? To think of yourself as capable?

“We shouldn’t conflate narcissism and self-confidence,” says Seligson. “As for the claim that we’ve all become self-deluded, thinking we are so talented and successful. Please. We’ve had to job search in the worst economy since the Great Depression.”

According to Schawbel, a little narcissism may even help build and protect millennials’ confidence in the face of major economic setbacks: “Gen Y is the most optimistic generation, even though they have suffered the most in this bad economy. Remember that Baby Boomers still hold most of the national wealth.” Meanwhile, he says the estimated 16.3% unemployment rate for Gen Y is more than double the national unemployment rate of 7.9%.

Finally, Seligson suggests there may also be a developmental aspect to this narrative. She says, “The 20s inherently are an inward-looking period of one’s life, where people focus on themselves and personal growth.” For Gen Y, this stage may be more pronounced than in previous generations, as many spend more time attending school, looking for steady employment and waiting to marry and have children.

So where does that leave us?

Readers: Are millennials self-deluded narcissists, or socially conscience optimists, confident even in the face of a nightmarish economy? Are they entitled or impoverished? Or, just maybe, do they exist on a much wider spectrum of circumstances, characteristics and values than they are given credit for?

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“We shouldn’t conflate narcissism and self-confidence,” says Seligson. “As for the claim that we’ve all become self-deluded, thinking we are so talented and successful. Please. We’ve had to job search in the worst economy since the Great Depression.” AMEN! Cannot agree more!

Yes, the Millennials are all about instant gratification but this tough economy has also taught us humility and perseverance. Not everyone comes from privileged backgrounds. Many of us have worked hard to get to this point; some of us just don’t want to settle for less. If one believes he/she possesses certain skill sets and is able to differentiate themselves in some way then what’s wrong with that? Last I recall, wanting to succeed was a GOOD thing.

I am NOT narcissistic. In fact, I would say that I am the least narcissistic person I know. If everyone were as altruistic and humble as me, the world would be a much better place with much better people. Don’t believe me? Check my Instagram. I only post pics of my feet like once a week.

The question isn’t whether millenials are delusional narcissists. That answer is self-evident. The material question is: How will delusional narcissists compete in the global economy and participate in society as a whole? How can the US survive when run by delusional narcissists whose belief in their own specialness prevents them from learning from failure?

Pop culture, internet distribution systems and the immediacy of content has made the upcoming Gen Y population somewhat complacent in getting exactly what the want, when they want it and how they want it with no need for waiting for something or working towards a goal. Life will undoubtedly have a harsh lesson to teach them as they begin to understand that not everyone will become a celebrity through reality television, internet identities or youtube videos. If you know how Long Tail theory works it can help explain why Gen Y believes that they are all special. Because of the Internet, more micro-celebrities have been exposed due to the immediacy and depth of content online. This micro-celebrity status that someone experiences is localized and unfortunately is not as widespread as most of the hollywood style celebrities. This notion that anyone can become famous is the main reason why Gen Y develops this self entitled personality that is now prevalent in the United States. Sorry but reality will come calling and the fantasy world they have built in their heads will come crumbling down.

However, a person who is 32 to 34 years old today is a Gen Xer (not a Millennial).

And what does the Campbells soup link posted have to do with Millennials being “America’s rising superpower”?

Gen Xers are the largest U.S. generational population. They’re born between the years 1961 – 1981. The total U.S. Gen X population is approx. 93,000,000 people. See New York Times bestselling book titled “Generations” by experts Strauss and Howe (page 318).

H&S project the Millennials, born 1982 – 2004, at 76,000,000 people in the U.S. (updated to approx 90-95m) — see page 336

Baby Boomers, born 1943 – 1960, are estimated at 79,000,000 people in the U.S. — see page 300 (see U.S. Census for updated number)

The “Silent” generation, born 1925 – 1942, is at 49,000,000 people in the U.S. — see page 280

There are differing definitions. I have seen Gen X as defined as born between 1965 and 1976, and between 1965 and 1980. I linked to the Campbell’s story because it discusses the demographics and also millennials as an important emerging consumer group.