Punters swear by Grand National trends and I am beginning to understand why.

The last 30 winners all have one thing in common - I didn't back them, and I didn't get them in the office sweep either.

The most reliable trend is for every owner interviewed by BBC before the race to say he is not worried about the result, he just wants horse and rider (chiefly horse) to come back safely.

If you're that worried, don't run the bloody thing.

Another certainty is that whichever horse wins, bookies will say it has cost the industry £10million, which would be true only if the industry is 'punting.'

Actually, they may have a point if Tony McCoy rides the winner because the soon-to-retire champion will carry the hopes of millions on his shoulders, which is some weight to lug around Aintree.

His mount, an eight-year-old called Shutthefrontdoor, has been backed as though defeat is out of the question when the only thing out of the question for an eight-year-old is to shut the front door.

If I were you I'd look elsewhere for the winner, preferably another column.

But first take a look at The Druids Nephew at around the 14-1 mark.

Third-choice jockey Aidan Coleman has a Grand National record – 0FFFPUU – that reads like one of those reference numbers you get when booking a cheap Ryanair flight but this Cheltenham Festival winner gives him a realistic chance of success, more realistic than when trying to book a cheap flight on Ryanair.

Druids are those people you look at and think 'get a life, you daft sod' – as indeed are nephews – but having a silly name doesn't stop you winning the Grand National; for evidence I give you Neptune Collonges, Pineau De Re, Auroras Encore, and Red bloody Rum.

Bet of the day

Did you hear Playboy has introduced a new magazine for married men?

Every month the centrefold is the same woman.

Get on Everton (21-10), Sunderland (2-1), Manchester United (17-10), and Spurs (8-13). The four-timer with BetVictor pays around 40-1.

Macca Acca

Selling sea shells by the sea shore – easier done than said.

Get on The Druids Nephew at 14-1 to win the Grand National.

Winning the Manchester derby is all about bragging rights though, having been to Manchester, I don’t really see too much to brag about.

At stake at Old Trafford tomorrow is the right to call yourself the third-best team in the Premier League.

For City boss Manuel Pellegrini, however, the stakes are higher still because his job is on the line with bookies believing the man nicknamed The Engineer will soon be out on his ear.

The last four managers to win the title all left their posts shortly after doing so and, with Hills offering 2-7 that Pellegrini won’t be at City at the start of next season, that number will shortly become five.

At least now it has becomes clear why Arsene Wenger is happy to finish fourth every year.

City have become so wretched that last week I mistook them for United.

That may be a little unfair on United, given their recent improvement, but, if so, good.

The good news for United boss Louis van Thumbface is that he has fortuitously stumbled on his best team. The bad news is it’s the one David Moyes got sacked for assembling.

United are 9-2 to win the Premier League without Chelsea. That’s a pretty neat idea, I mean having a Premier League without Chelsea

More immediately they are 17-10 to collect three points tomorrow and on form that has to be the bet, even if form in derby matches sometimes goes out the window, like about 10 City players this summer.