News and Culture Intertwined

Geno Sent to Break Venezuela’s Legs

After Venezuela failed to pay back the $280 million that it owes its creditors, loan shark Al Michaels has sent his boy Geno to “take care of those motherfuckers.” When prompted by police to explain what he meant by “take care of those motherfuckers,” Mr. Michaels explained that he merely wished to “pay them a little visit” and proceeded to wink very conspicuously. Officers remain puzzled.

Mr. Michaels explained that, though he only personally loaned Venezuela $200,000 for “gastos de negocio,” he would personally fund the retaliation on behalf of all the country’s creditors “to really stick it to those fuckers.” When asked by reporters what he had planned to do, Geno explained that he intended to “break their goddamn legs.” Reporters asked whether he meant this in figurative terms, but Geno seemed confused and was unable to respond.

The population of the country was asked about the situation over Skype early Wednesday morning. They explained that they have come together to build a massive set of wooden legs at the Capitol in Caracas in an attempt to fool Geno. They are confident the strategy will work.