Jessica Simpson might be a cow

Is that mean? Is that mean of me to call Jessica Simpson a cow just because she looks like she gained 80 pounds and forgot how to walk? I mean I don’t want to be mean. So if that’s mean just pretend I didn’t even say it. Because she’s not a cow. She’s a person. With feelings. And emotions. And possibly hooves where her feet should be.

Thanks to the sextacular Kelly for the tip. I hear she once made Brad Pitt orgasm just by winking at him.

NOTE: Turns out she’s filming an ad for Pizza Hut here, which I think really helps her case against being a cow. I mean geez, she might as well be doing a public service announcement for mayonnaise.