"Unfortunately, you have to take
the good with the bad sometimes." (Bertrand Simmons, president
of Texas State University's Metropolitan Houston alumni chapter
commenting on a state audit of TSU's alleged mismanagement of
its endowment funds. (Houston Chronicle, August 17, 2006,
page A6.)
Note: That is just perverse.

"Irwin's father says son knew risks
of dying." (Banner to a story reporting Steve Irwin's accidental
death in Australia. Page A2, in the Houston Chronicle,
September 7, 2006.)
Note: O, don't we all.

"No Acceleration Lane." (Warning
sign at an entrance to I10 East near Katy, TX)
Note: No problem for my '49 Chevy.

"Is there any way you could be pregnant?"
(Question 12A, "For Female Patient's Only", on the
Kelsey-Seybold Patient CT History Form, Rev. 2006-04-13)
Note: Uh ... Just the usual.

"Free rent" (Banner on the side
of an apartment building in the 9500 block of Westheimer, Houston,
TX)
Note: OK, I'll have some.

"And we'll be there, too, with a
live report" (Ron Treviño, reporting on plans of
the victim's family members to witness the execution of the murderer.
June 6, 2007, 12:04PM, Channel 11, Houston, TX)
Note: In a manner of speaking.

"Apart, we [U.S. Trust & Bank
of America Private Wealth Management] were two of the most respected
financial institutions in America. Together, our clients can
only imagine the possibilities."(Advertisement on page C8,
New York Times, July 2, 2007.)
Note: Now that's frustrating.

"... the Syrian state news agency
confirmed that he [Imad Mugniyah] was the man killed in the bombing,
citing Syria's interior minister, Bassam Abdul-Majeed, who said
Syria 'condemns this cowardly terrorist attack ...' ...."(Page
A1, New York Times, February 14, 2008.)
Note: An ostensive definition of irony.

"The newspaper [Zimbabwe's state
newspaper, The Sunday Mail,] also quoted a ZANU-PF official
as saying that the party has rejected an offer from the opposition
MDC [Movement for Democratic Change] to form a national unity
government, saying such a coalition would be like mixing water
with fire." (From "Court to Rule on Zimbabwe Pole Results",
April 6, 2008) URL: http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/04/06/zimbabwe.election/?iref=hpmostpop.
)
Note: That is a metaphor that I am not familiar with.

"If you are Christian,," he
[Kisik Lee, coach of the American Olympic archery team] said,
"then people can have that kind of empty mind." (Page
A12, New York Times, August 20, 2008.)
Note: Yes, there is some missing context ... but still.

"Franken declared winner, but not
out of the clear yet." (Kansas City Star. URL: http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics/story/966194.html,
January 5, 2009)
Note: It's all a matter of perspective.

"Undercover Police" (Notice
emblazoned on the front of a teeshirt, worn by a customer in
Kroger's grocery store, Houston, TX. August, 2009. )
Note: I guess that I just miss the principle.

"Burleson County authorities are
trying to locate a man who mysteriously went missing on Thursday,
September 16 [2010]." (KBTX webpage)
Note: How many ways are there to do this?

"Chevrolet Volt battery upgrade promises
less firey [sic] crashes." January 5, 2012. (http://www.slashgear.com/chevrolet-volt-battery-upgrade-promises-less-firey-crashes-05206425/)
Note: This probably does not mean the same number of crashes
but with less fire. It is most likely aiming at fewer crashes
with fire of any kind.

"Critics raise new concerns about
Pres. Obama's plan to take on ISIS." September 11, 2014,
2:01 (ET) [The "new" concerns come 17 hours after the
plan was announced, leaving little time for the "old"
ones.]
Note: An ostensive definition of innuendo. All examples are from
one source ... the "Fair and Balanced" reporting of
Fox News,

"No One Does More For Less"
(Painted on the back of an HEB grocery delivery supply truck,
I45N, August 29, 2014. )
Note: But some may do more for the same price as HEB, or some
may do the same as HEB, but at a lower price. The writers need
to revisit the motto.

"Opposing Views of Defendant at Boston
Bombing Trial" New York Times, March 6, 2015, A18.
Note: I sense two (at least) meanings here, but the difference
does not depend on oppose being intransitive in one meaning,
and transitive in the other. It seems to depend on the source
of the (transitive) opposition, which is left unidentified. It
can (i) originate in either one (or more) view that is then the
source of the opposition, so that one (or more) view opposes
the other(s), or (ii) the opposition originates outside the view(s),
so that the views are themselvea in toto opposed.

"In the same MSNBC town hall where
he made the abortion comments, Trump refused to rule out the
potential use of nuclear weapons in Europe or the Middle East
to combat Islamic State militants. "I would never take any
of my cards off the table," he said." (March 31, 2016)
<http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-idUSKCN0WX1V6>Note: I think he has his options mixed
up.