Prada, Gucci, Versace or Google? Yep, these days your clothes could be designed by Armani, Apple or both depending on if you want the latest fashions … or the latest smart fashions. Wearable tech is emerging at lightning speed, so much so that Google Glass now seems like a classic pair of Levi Jeans — even before it hits the market.

But what about the weirder gadgets at the forefront of fashion? We’ve rounded up five of the strangest trends — the couture of wearable tech:

Taser Bra: This bra gives new meaning to Girl Power. Designed by aeronautical engineering student Manisha Mohan, it has the ability to shock attackers. One grope and the bra activates pressure sensors that deliver an electric charge of 3800kv. Ouch. It can also send a text message to police with GPS coordinates.

Smart PJs: With these interactive pajamas, your kids may actually volunteer to go to bed. They feature dot designs that act as QR codes. Parents can scan a code with their smartphone to unlock a different bedtime story every night. Because, you know, Mom, Kindles are sooooo last year!

Like-a-Hug: Who needs a real hug from a real person? This extra poofy jacket gives you a great big squeeze every time someone likes a post on your Facebook page. The perfect gift for someone who was neglected as a child, or those suffering from anthropophobia (the fear of human company).

Transparent Dress: Talk about a hot date! A dress created by the brand Intimacy becomes increasingly transparent based on close and personal encounters with other people. In other words, it becomes see-through when you’re turned on. Let’s just hope it doesn’t activate before you get home from dinner.

Stink-Free Undies: Yep, they exist. They’re called Shreddies and they’re specifically designed with a carbon back panel to filter the smell of gas, so people around you can’t smell it. Now we can all fearlessly eat refried beans at the office for lunch — ah, the smell of progress!