A winter snowshoeing backcountry adventure; a crazy road trip to off-season Glacier National Park in Montana; an #unexpecteddrive to Alberta’s badlands = all with my girl, J.

Losing 30ish pounds

Not so in love with this:

ONLY losing 30ish pounds (it should have been more)

But now I just sound greedy.

Last year I wrote: “2014 is about getting fit, and getting outside. Losing weight is the icing on the cake + the foam on my beer, but the ultimate goal is to be healthy and fit.”

Anyway, I DID GET OUTSIDE which was my main goal for 2014. And I had SOOOO much fun.

But I think in my heart of hearts, I didn’t JUST want to get outside. I wanted to be in crazy good shape, have muscles, no body fat and of course, continue to explore the mountains and weigh a whole lot less. So – I think I need to revamp my goals for this coming year to reflect those thoughts!

If that’s what I really want, I’m going to have to work really hard and be super committed for #LeanMean2015.

[insert whine here] I was really trying to do that “everything in moderation” stuff in 2014 and balance the h-e-double-hockey-sticks out of my life, but oddly enough when I stopped going balls to the wall with the weight loss in around June and just followed a ‘program,’ my results were not as dramatic. True? False? Hm. Or did I get lazy?

Down with moderation! Go big or go home. Will this work in 2015?? WE SHALL SEE.

*Apple Cider Vinegar is full of acetic acid which has been shown to lower blood pressure up to 6%. It can also help eat up the starches if you do eat grains in your diet. Lemon juice helps balance blood sugar and has an alkaline effect on your body helping to regulate ph. Cinnamon is one of the best anti-oxidants on the planet. It is the number one herb/spice for balancing blood sugar. Honey contains enzymes that stimulate the digestive process and boosts metabolism, which contributes to weight reduction. YUM.

** I used warm water and pretended it was some sort of exotic après ski nog in a European destination of the rich and famous. Very oddly, I thought this was relatively good for the most part, and then it became a chore. At the end I just plugged my nose and chugged it.

Seize the moment…remember all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert. ~ Erma Bombeck

You don’t need a New Year to start a resolution, you just need a Monday. ~Anonymous

I decided to eat whatever I wanted over the Christmas holidays.

It’s a HOLIDAY after all, and haven’t I worked hard all year and deserve a treat?

So, I did. And I had fun. Oddly, the meals were not a challenge for me – all my choices were well-balanced and filled me up. It was the snacking. Boxes of Himalayan pink sea salt & caramel chocolates, homemade cookies, bowls of cashews, cheese/crackers/sweet pickles, eggnog and Kentucky bourbon, Shocktop, Kronenbourg, Oyster Bay… SO GOOD going down.

I’d go to bed with a food hangover, wake up in the middle of the night with a food hangover, come to in the morning with a food hangover…what’s a food hangover? To me, it was an overall feeling of blergh. Partly it was a full stomach, but mostly it was like every cell in my body being in distress. I felt thick. Tingly. Sore. Swollen. My heart would race occasionally. In other words, nothing really good.

And as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, I would claim “NEVER AGAIN!!” By midday I’d be feeling better, and would happily overdose while playing board games, watching movies, or just because it was there.

I let myself enjoy these past two weeks, only to cause blergh-ness. The overindulgence of sugar, fat, caffeine and alcohol culminated in one giant yuck-fest. Yet…oddly I don’t regret it*. Or the 9.5 pounds that came with it. NINE POINT FIVE. Yep. In, like, two weeks. I swear it’s all that food still in my colon. I’d like to think I’ve learned a lesson??? Hm.

Fun is up. Time to get back to it. Plan of attack:

Water. Lots of it. Drinking half my body weight in ounces. Add lemon to that water to aid digestion and cleanse the system.

Sweat. My knee is still sore, but I’ve also been using this as an excuse. I need to work around the knee and modify my exercises. Do-over of P90 – Day ONE starts today. Thank goodness for accountability partners. You know who you are.

Whole foods, baby! Weaning off the sugar pops over the next few days and then going sugar-less by the first week in January. Easier said than done, because I know I can eat great meals, but the afternoon cravings for junk will kick in.

The most obvious is to remove the treats from the house. Will send it out into the world with the teenagers for their late-night card games or simply toss it in the garbage. When I’m on a good roll, it CAN be in the house and I don’t touch it, but currently addicted, I need it gone.

Haha – the funniest part about my plan of attack is that I KNOW all of this. So many of us ‘know’ what to do, how to be healthy, what good choices are…yet we CHOOSE NOT TO. That’s the kicker. The true test is acting on making the purported change. That’s a whole other session on the couch that really hasn’t been examined over this past year for me, and could very well be what’s getting in the way of success… deep thoughts. Stay tuned.

*Okay, the ONLY regret about gaining weight over the holidays comes down to saving face… Doing my January 1st weigh-in – comparing to LAST January – I will now have not ‘lost’ as much weight… Ahhhh vanity.

Friday was brought to you from the glow of Netflix, partnered with a corning ware dish of oh-so-comforting leftover pasta. The amuse bouche may have been a row (or three) of digestive cookies. Yep. An intervention is required.

Want the party line of excuses? Anxiety over a social event at my house. Mild case of the blues. Exhaustion. A sense of overwhelming blergh to do with my little Beachbody biz. The upcoming holiday season. It was cold out. Everything.

So, I started drinking double espressos in the mornings to perk myself up. When you start visiting a coffee shop daily, your gaze lingers a little longer on the sweets. One day, I bought a Nanaimo bar. I don’t even LIKE Nanaimo bars. But this one…was chilled, and sweet and crazy good. So then I had another the next day. Then I went to a Christmas lunch buffet and ate cheesecake and a lemon square.

Sugar is an evil drug. You just crave more.

The not working out part is sheer laziness.

Why is it that one day missed, and suddenly you’re on that slippery slope? Like, if you’re not moving forward, you’re sliding backwards. Backsliding. Teenage Pentecostal flashback. Damn.

So, confessions out there once again.

I have this wonderful group of ladies on Facebook I’m working with for a healthy, happy Christmas season. The goals are to eat clean, sweat daily and hit January 1st feeling GREAT. And yet, November was such a roller coaster (one great week followed by one sloth week, and repeat) and December has been rocky so far. And let’s be honest here: I’m trying to encourage them and bam, I’m barely keeping my own head above water…

I need a super awesome do-over! (But why why why I am having do-overs every week? Is this how an addict feels? Starting over every single week, day, hour?)