Intercultural Life

Yes, the Korean guy wrist grab thing again. It doesn’t just happen in Korean dramas, it happens in real life too. It does annoy me a bit so I grabbed his wrist and dragged him to show him what it’s like but he thwarted me by claiming he likes it! He may be lying…

This made me smile. He might be telling the truth. I guess one way to find out would be to do it to him more often. (^_^)

Natalie

Awww, that’s so cute! I think he may actually like it… since it does happen on the guy’s part a lot, I think they just do it to their girlfriends because they would like it done to them. Or… something like that, anyway. :p

Schuu

hahhahhah ashudajfaoijspofkpsodk so cuteeee XDDDD

Casey

I think it’s cute ^^ lol Although I can see why it annoyed you a littl, I think it’s cute that he likes it c:

LOL, same! I think my mom may have dragged me like that at some point too. What I’m trying to say is that classical conditioning does not favor the wrist-grab, at least for me. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking its romantic in k-dramas.

I dont really grab my aussie wife’s wrist. it would be like handcuffs if im doing it .. I dont really think all Korean guys would do as your husband does. I reckon it depends on people’s taste;) anyways my wife has read all your cartoons and she keeps saying this is so true! haha

I think it just goes back to the whole skinship thing in Korean culture – so maybe he does like it, but obviously you two are a little different from the norm.

I was talking with a friend who teaches at a school in Korea, and he said that two students were expelled for holding hands. Now it’s a boarding school, and dating etc. is totally banned, but for me coming from a western perspective I find this ridiculous. Wrist grabbing seems like such an aggressive act and unequal demonstration of power, that it irritates me, but perhaps that is not it’s full intention. I wonder if I didn’t come from a culture where skinship isn’t a big deal, if I would feel very differently. So maybe that’s just the cultural lens I am seeing it through.

juveka

I think the meaning strongly depends on the situation… I’ve studied in Korea in 2011/12 and I remember that when my roommate (a girl way younger than me) grabbed my wrist for the first time I got really angry. I didn’t say anything though because I thought I should wait and see if that’s normal in Korea. But I brought it up once during a conversation with her telling her that it made me feel really uncomfortable like she was superior to me or like she was my mother and I was her child. But she said that it’s normal in Korea to do so. It’s a sign of affection; she was just taking care of me. I’ve seen numerous Chinese boys and girls walking around like that at our Korean Language Center, too, so I think it might be kind of an Asian thing. For us Westerners it seems offensive though. But actually in the end I came to like it quite a little bit because it made me feel like they were accepting me. I’m from Germany and Germans aren’t very ‘touchy’ people but sometimes I wish we were because during that year in Korea I had a strong feeling of being at home (not just because of the wrist grabbing but because of numerous other incidents, too) which I never felt in my home country. But I have to say that when a guy grabs a girl’s wrist in a drama and she doesn’t seem to like it I still think it’s repulsive and kind of abusive…

I am totally all for “skinship” person, love to hold hands or arms or wrist~~ hehehehe I love to be close to frds and beloved ones~~~^3^ (even tho there are times that they dun like it… Like my dad he thinks it’s weird when I hold his and he says ppl look at him like an old man who married a young wife… lol)

Hector

From a korean perspective, He just wanted to annoy or tease you.(I also rarely tease my girlfriend)Because he loves you. You know korean men are so conservative that they don’t want to express their mind to someone in love due to paternalism in the past like every wife served their husband like a King before. It’s been changing as time goes by though.

I also don’t like to see that someone grab his wife’s wrist as Korean Woman. It is not common in korean society nowadays. I have been marrying with my husband so many years but he didn’t grab my wrist at all. If your husband wants to grab your wrist often, in stead of him, you grab your husband’s wrist as like above drawing. It’s good way to avoid. Please don’t let him grab your wrist any more. I don’t understand as Real Korean Woman. Thanks a lot.

As much as I hate when someone does that in dramas (ESPECIALLY the ‘against her will pulling her away/toward what I want because I know what’s best for her’ thing. Like seriously. Not romantic. No. Ever.) I haaaave been knows to yank people by their shirts/backpacks/arms/faces to get them to look at what I want them to see ^^ But when I do it, I actually realize that I’m being rude and pushy… I just do it anyway ^^

I actually live with 2 Korean guys >< Donghun and Jungjae… So far I haven't seen the wrist grabbing. Just in the dramas. Hahaha but I am not dating them… So it might just be a dating thing!

Terri

I find it annoying in Kdramas, and I think personally, I’d find it annoying in real life as well.
As for whether or not your husband is lying… I don’t know, try it out in front of his friends and see how he reacts!

I think it really depends on the context.
I see wrist grabbing in general can be offensive anywhere because it’s associated to dominance or enforcement.

What I interpret the behavior from your husband is, however, more of a stronger sense of attachment caused.
I can see I would do and I’d get done so I don’t think your husband is lying only to annoy you.
I’m Korean Korean by the way and Happy 설날 to you guys!

hi, i’m a Korean.
I live in Port Douglas with my boyfriend now.
My Korean boyfriend Josh never do the wrist grabbing like that.
I think many korean do it, but not everyone. haha.

umm..

I’m a Korean girl and I like that. 😀 It makes my heart flutter. Many friends of mine agreed with me when I was in highschool.

Megan

I saw your blog featured on daum.net. Congratulations on the feature! That’s very awesome. I can relate to many of your stories. I have been with my partner, who is also Korean, for five years now. We have had some hilarious times and I would love to write about them as well. Currently, my blog is about life with OCD, but he makes his way into many of my posts.

I love the one about the “Serious Conversation”. Boy isn’t that the truth! It’s very hard to preoccupy oneself when your entire party is speaking another language. I usually feel like a fish out of water. I took Korean for a year and have studied it by myself for awhile now. It’s easy to pick out words and I usually know what he’s talking about because he tells the same stories over and over and over….;) Funny how that story struck home.

Does your husband make that sound “woah” too? I saw it in one of your renditions. I love that word, but never thought how I could romanize it. There is also “achtiga!” which I say, “octagons” just to tick him off.

It has been a fun relationship, to say the least. I’d love to share some of my hilarious stories with you. I think you are one of the few who can relate 🙂

Haha I know exactly what you mean about them telling the same stories so you know what they are saying even if you don’t know all the words! My husband always tells the same stories. Please keep commenting here 🙂

Peter

I think Korean guys need to know about US culture. When you have an experience at young age about teacher grabbing you by wrist, you will never be comfortable for the rest of your life….

While it’s good for them to know that, it is possible to get used to it too. Good to find some middle ground.

Karl

He’s not lying. I would love it, too. 🙂

GG is mgginny

He’s not lying! trust me..
Maybe he is some of an obsessed type of a husband, he might be doing that because he likes making it clear for people to know that you are his… speaking of obsessed type, maybe you should consider that he isn’t just obsessed about you as his most important one, but he also wants you to be obsessed about him as your most important one.. (just an advice, i’m not a pro) :p
Have he ever suggested for you to wear a couple t-shirt with him? haha~ that’s just a simple example of an obsessed type.. ^^

haha well maybe it is an asian/cultural thing, but i personally would like it if he grabbed my wrist because i like feeling taken care of.

Tori

I am american and live in korea and last night i drank and drunk called the guy i like~kguy~ he came and got me and grabbed my wrist and took me home. How do you think he feels about me??

seekingego

Korean myself… I think the biggest problems are
1. Korean dramas often illustrate the wrist grabbing as something ‘manly’ or a sign of affection.
2. As a result of 1, most Koreans don’t really understand that wrist grabbing might offend, or even scare others.
3. As a result of 1 and 2 combined, some(maybe most) Korean women fantasize these kind of situations, and many Korean men often misunderstand rejection as a sign of ‘내숭’.

I hate when people do this. It really scares me cuz whenever I reject social gathering(drinking) at work, my male boss grabs me by the wrist and pulls me. When I strongly reject, they make me someone who’s made a big deal out of nothing.

H Yoon

That’s so interesting. I was born and raised in Korea and my hubby as well. However, my hubby never does this to me. I hope grabbing wrist is not a common Korean thing.