WITH SEX ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
This paper has been sent to you for good luck. The original
has been worn out from having passed through the hands
of so many people. It had travelled around the world 70
times [Dear Reader: please help keep this count current. If
this letter falls into your hands after just completing one
more circuit of the world, please add one to the count.] The
luck has now been sent to you.
You will experience great sex within four days of receiving
this letter, provided you send it on. Since the copy must
tour the world, you must make ten copies and send them
to others. This is no joke. Send no money. Send copies to
people who need to get laid within 96 hours.
After he passed this letter on, a Montana Spinach Control
Officer got his penis stuck in a cow-milking machine and
had the longest series of orgasms of his life. John Elliot
tried to pick up a prostitute, but, because he broke the
chain, was picked up by the police instead. When they
searched his home, they found magazines of little boys
which they showed to his neighbors. In a suburb of Paris,
Don Loray's trousers were ripped by an unsatisfied
erection, 51 days after failing to circulate the letter.
However, before this happened, a condom machine gave
him three condoms for the price of one. (was this the
consolation prize?)
Do note the following: Hebert Pudstrom received the chain
in 1953. He asked his secretary to make ten copies and
send them out. A few days later he encountered her in a
red-light district making more than he had every paid her at
work. General George Patton, who sent the letter on, saw
what he thought was a quarter in the street. When he bent
down to pick it up, a beautiful woman in a miniskirt walked
by, and he got a great view. Heywood Daddit, an
unemployed chicken choker, received the letter and forgot
that it had to leave his hands within 96 hours. His wife
then went bowling with his best friend and never returned.
Later, after finding the letter again, he mailed ten copies. A
few days later he got a wife and discovered that his old
wife, who he thought was wonderful, had made love to
him like a dead salmon for all these years! Alan Fairchild
received the letter and, not believing, threw the letter
away. Nine days later he spilled hot coffee in his crotch.
In 1987 the letter received by a young woman in Texas
was faded and barely readable, so she did not realize that
this paragraph applied to her. She promised herself she
would retype the letter and send it on, but she put it aside
to do later. She was plagued with problems including
herpes and other venereal diseases she contracted in her
futile attempts to find Mr. Right in a singles bar. The letter
did not leave her hands in 96 hours. She finally typed the
letter and found a man with a 10-inch penis.
Beware however of the fate of the E-mail user at Trent
University, Peterborough ON, that sent this letter to
himself over five thousand times in one afternoon. Before
leaving the computer lab a strange woman came up behind
him, bit his ear and put her hand down his pants. The
ensuing surprise caused him to stumble forward and cry
out. As he attempted to arrest his fall by grabbing a nearby
PC, a gob of spittle that had been flung from his mouth (as
he cried out) landed deep into the inner recesses of the
computer, all three (student, strange woman and computer)
then experienced simultaneous Cyber-Orgasms of
exponential intensity before exploding in a puff of smoking
data.
You must distribute at least ten copies within 96 hours of
receiving this letter. Those who do will find their love lives
more fulfilling. Those who do not will be doomed to
one-night stands with mechanical devices.