I recently
lost my father who I had been the full time
caregiver for the past 8 years. Prior to that I had
been the primary caregiver for my mother for 11
years following a disabling stroke. Before that, I
had helped my parents care for my sister who had
many physical and emotional problems and for a
period of roughly 5 years I took care of an aunt who
suffered from dementia. All told I had been a
caregiver for almost 28 years.

Now that my
father is gone my caregiving days are over and it
very difficult to try to jump start my life. The job
situation in my home town is not good. Most jobs
seem to pay minimum wage which is almost impossible
to live on. I had graduated from both college and
law school but never had the opportunity to
practice. I have not had the time over the years to
keep up with computer skills which I now am
attempting to do.

Have other
caregivers also experienced this problem? Do you
have any suggestions that could help me? I
appreciate your time

Yours truly,

Ted

Ted,

This is a very
normal issue to be facing, so much of these past
years had been taken up your labors of love that now
they are over, you are left to figure out what to do
with the rest of your life. First thing you need to
do is to take a moment and realize that while you
were certainly being a supportive brother, nephew
and son as you cared for your loved ones, you were
also the head of an important health care
organization. You were the one literally making
life and death decisions for those that you love on
a daily basis, juggling finances, interacting with
healthcare professionals and making sure that those
in your organization (your sister, aunt and parents)
got the best available care.

In fact, many of the greatest healthcare
professionals I have met, started down the path
towards their careers as caregiver for members of
their family. I am not just talking about doctors
and nurses, but social workers, nurse assistants,
administrators and marketing and sales
professionals. You may want to figure out if there
was any part of caregiving that you enjoyed doing
which would be an interesting career choice for you.
Your future course may not best be found in your
home town. Are there any funds available for you to
try and start a new life elsewhere? Your legal
background may be of great service to a local legal
aid organization or you may want to start anew with
a paralegal license. I know that it seems as if
things are upside down right now, but this may be an
opportunity to do something that many caregivers
find hard to do, during and after their caregiving
days and that is to think about what you really want
for yourself.

With your permission, Iím going
to present this to the true caregiving experts, and
see what advice they may have to offer.