Daily Archives: 20 Dec 2017

Doctors speaking on behalf of the nation’s medical community Wednesday recommended that Americans not stare directly into the black, empty void encompassing the nation’s comment sections.

While doctors have long known of the harmful effects of dwelling upon the vast wastelands comprising comment sections on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and websites at large, the symptoms have become far more pronounced in recent years, according to medical professionals.

“We’ve found that severe psychological side effects may accompany thinking too long and hard about any comments you encounter while you’re on the internet,” Dr. Sherman Danforth, a leading psychology expert told reporters. “If you must browse a comment section for any reason, we recommend a brief, cautious glance to get a sense of it, but turn away quickly, lest you do irreparable damage to your psyche.”

Doctors also confirmed staring too long into the void of comment sections can have the undesirable side effect of having the void stare back into you.

“Each day, thousands of people stare too long into the black hole of vitriol present in online comment sections, correlating things which were not meant to be correlated in the human mind, and end up babbling incoherently about ‘the eyes in the darkness,’ ‘the black pit,’ and ‘the nameless one,’” Danforth added.

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Preaching the full counsel of scripture is our calling; infuriating the godless is a natural consequence of the faithful fulfillment of that calling. The more furious the godless become, the purer the truth being preached.

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It’s time for every theologian, biblical scholar, and pastor to be a prophet. And to speak like one. And to address the community of faith like one. It’s time for a generation of Jeremiah’s and Amos’s and Isaiah’s and Micah’s to fill America’s pulpits and lecterns. That’s what time it is.

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Since they would not consent to acknowledge God, God abandoned them to their unacceptable thoughts and indecent behaviour. And so now they are steeped in all sorts of injustice, rottenness, greed and malice; full of envy, murder, wrangling, treachery and spite, libellers, slanderers, enemies of God, rude, arrogant and boastful, enterprising in evil, rebellious to parents, without brains, honour, love or pity. They are well aware of God’s ordinance: that those who behave like this deserve to die — yet they not only do it, but even applaud others who do the same. – St. Paul