â€œCuff â€˜Emâ€ is a daily look at whoâ€™s in trouble with the law. Itâ€™s our hope to limit this to 5 sports-related morons, but it can be modified at our discretion or if there is a sudden outbreak of superior stupidity.

The police would like to talk with the San Diego Padres 2004 #1 draft pick Matt Bush. You see, he seems to have problems with his ego, high school lacrosse players and alcohol. A witness said “Bush was drunk, threw a golf club into the dirt, picked up and threw a freshman lacrosse player and hit another one. Bush also yelled “I’m Matt (expletive) Bush,” and “(expletive) East County,” before driving over a curb in his Mercedes.” Full Story.

Let this be a lesson to all teen girls who think it’s cool having sex before mom gets back from a Super Bowl party. She’ll come home early to find an 18-year-old boy tagging her daughter and then will call the cops. Full Story.

Typical freshman basketball player mistake #1,493: Trying to get pot through airport security on way to road game. Full Story.

Typical NFL IR football player move: smoking a joint and then wondering why the fuzz is all up in his shit. Full Story.

Typical bullshit criminal move: stealing bucket of dollars to be used by a Little League team. Full Story.