An Interview With Waby

Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentleman, Madams and Monsieurs, it brings me great pleasure to be hosting this show for the people. (Yea now please all of you go jump off a cliff) Anyhow today it brings me great delight to be taking the interview of the one the only, the glamorous, the gorgeous and the simply divine … oh wait our intended guest for this evening couldn’t make it so we have the not so glamorous Miss Wahabna Ehsan Malik instead. Sucks, I know 😛 but ah well I gotta keep the show going. So please give it up for Miss Wahabna. (Wouldn’t blame you people if you don’t go all ecstatic :P)

Me:Madam, what is your name

RD: full name? (Well news flash sweetie… This is an interview, SO YES I WANT YOUR FULL NAME!)

Me:Yes

RD:Wahabna Ehsan Malik

Me: And what do your friends call you as?

RD:all of the nicks?

Me: unless they changed the English language nicknames used to mean more than one

RD: I have countless. I’ll tell u the recent ones

Me:tell the top one instead.

RD: Chu Chu, Waby, Wahab bhai, Wabz

Me: (Waiting for the so called infinite list to get over…) Huh wow what a long list of countless nicks you have. Moving on, who dubbed you as Wahab bhai?

RD: My class fellows, Male ones. I hate them all!

Me: Ladies and gentlemen please give a big hand for her class mates for their unprecedented creativity.

RD: I HATE YOU WALEED KHALID! mar jao! x.x

Me:you are full of so much hatred. Why?

RD: hatred for? (Yes, we know your slow but you actually don’t have to prove it -.-‘)

Me:well first you hate your class mates, then you hate me and God knows what else.

RD: oh you mean people? (No, I was talking about cars -.-‘)

Me: yes

RD: I hate people usually

Me:I asked why not who (I always thought no one was this dumb… I stand corrected now.)

RD: okay first…I usually hate the people who’re my friends. On a personal level… I like it when people are on my opposite. In fact, sorry, friends.

Me: Oh I am dark love me I am dark -.-‘

RD: (still continuing to blabber :P) so if they can’t stay on the opposite and chipkofye I’ll help myself then!

Me: Uh, I didn’t ask for your life story, moving on, Miss Wahabna Ehsan Malik, tell me, what is your age? Because there are a lot of controversies on this issue

RD: x.x officially… ITS 17! Seventeen! S-e-v-e-n-t-e-en (Wow you know how to spell, whoop de doo for you. Another contender for the Nobel Prize -.-‘)

Me:and unofficially?

RD: woh you ask other bongay log! Who are actually bothered by my age!

Me: in these 17, so to speak, years are there any accomplishments worth talking about? (17, yea right :P)

RD: yes, maybe many…

Me: Please share some

RD: okay! ^^ I made this drawing and the topic was what makes me happy… I won the first prize. I was the youngest one in the competition.

Me:so what did you make?

RD: I made my friends

Me:wow that is sweet. boohoo I need a tissue now. So who hosted this competition?

RD: Red Crescent society people hosted it. So as a youngster… I did something.

Me: so how did you feel at that moment?

RD: when I drew the thing…I never knew I was going to win something. (So, usually people know in advance they are going to win? Wow) but when I got the calendar over which the drawing was actually printed…I felt proud! I still have that Red Crescent calendar ^^ *whispers* winners drawing had to get printed on a calendar.

Me: Everyone isn’t as dumb as you, so I think they can figure that much out by themselves. So, any other accomplishment you are really proud of?

RD: yes, I ate 4 apples today!

Me: truly an astonishing thing to do. However did you manage it?

RD: ______u. Fill in the blank.

Me: No, need to get angry. So ever been on stage other than to sweep it clean?

RD: yes! x.x

Me:oh what for?

RD: it was for a patriotic thingy. Paki thing (well you are a Pakistani, so I am thinking if you do a patriotic thing IT WILL BE FOR PAKISTAN AND NOT FOR INDIA -.-‘) I was the MOM! x.x

Me:I wonder why they picked you of all the people…

RD: b/c I was loud and bossy! (What do you mean was?)

Me: any moment in your life that you felt really happy?

RD: I dun remember. Recent, please?

Me: sure why not -.-‘ it’s not like I am taking an interview here.

RD: when I was sending a birthday card to a friend….for the first time in my entire life! woh bhi outside city! I’ve never done that ^^ (uh so do you want a Nobel Prize for that now?)

Me: I hear you have a so called “lovely” sis, so with what nicks does your sis call you by?

RD: CENSORED, bitch, Kamini.

Me: uh, this is a family show so let’s just skip this. So, what do you call your sis by?

RD: ullo ki [beep], khoti, darling (wow darling lmao xD)

Me: I hear you collect some “things”, so care to tell the audience what do you collect?

RD: Barbies and their clothes! ^^

Me: Now, lets move on to your personal life. How many people have proposed you?

RD: in school 15-16 people… on net… umm…. 8-10.

Me: I hear some of them were girls, so how many girls are we talking about here?

RD: umm….16 (wow o.o amazing :P)

Me: So did you say yes to any of those girls?

RD: duh!

Me: Oh to whom?

RD: tj, soni, bushy, mano…

Me: Uh why 4 girls?

RD: I love em! ^^

Me: So how do you find them looks wise?

RD: HILARIOUS!

Me: uh ok. So you are saying you love 4 girls?

RD: Well… screw the third one

Me: Ahem, so kissed any one of them?

RD: nae woh nae bataun gi! Personal hai! x.x

Me: Well my sources clearly say you did.

RD: CENSORED. nae bata sakti

Me: Oh wow. So what did you say after the kiss was over?

RD: Ouch. (uhhhhh)

Me: Okkk… Just a fun question ever found a guy sexy in lingerie?

RD: dah!

Me: Who?

RD: crabbie

Me: No further fun questions from you. So what is the most fun moment of your life that u can remember?