Obviously a question asked by someone who's never owned a pet! Of course animals talk to us. They may not speak English, but they are quite capable of vocalizing their feelings and we humans become pretty darned good at interpreting the language of Petspeak.

Obviously a question asked by someone who's never owned a pet! Of course animals talk to us. They may not speak English, but they are quite capable of vocalizing their feelings and we humans become pretty darned good at interpreting the language of Petspeak.

Only when I stumble out of bed at 5:00 am because the cats are demanding breakfast and I step in a pile of vomit/hairball. Then, yes. But it is only to keep myself from hurling curses, lots of curses, at them.

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"Do animals ever talk to you?"

See above and below answers.

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"Do you hear voices telling you what to do?"

Well, yes, all the time. We want dinner! We want breakfast! We want a clean sandbox! We want to be petted! We want down! We want up! Take your choice; with cats you get all of them, sometimes at the same time.

I'm having a burst of schadenfreude discovering the Professional Darwinism of a certain pseudo-celebrity blogger who was supposedly about to have this big Hollywood career. Anyone remember Tucker Max? He was a complete cretin who had a blog about all of his "d@ting" exploits, which were mostly along the lines of misogynistic rape-culture rants. He got a three-book deal out of it, and things looked rosy as he proclaimed being a gigantic jerk was the way to win at life, and he was living proof. He was making hundreds of thousands of dollars on speaking engagements, and being hailed like some sort of hero for treating people like garbage and women like worse than garbage.

Then he got a movie deal for one of his books, and started bragging about how it was going to be a huge blockbuster and he was about to be rich and famous. He moved to Hollywood, and actually sank a bunch of HIS OWN MONEY into this movie.

The movie tanked, big time, Tucker lost a ton of money, was laughed out of Hollywood, and proceeded to burn every single one of his bridges into oblivious with his hateful, narcissistic personality and inabilities to behave professionally. Several of his big braggy exploits were revealed to be exaggerations, and he was humiliated on a radio show in a way that he obviously thought he was immune to. He had to pack up and move to Texas, shut down his website, and cancel plans for several "big projects" that were supposedly in the works. Ironically, A*holes don't ALWAYS finish first.

There was a lawyer on the news talking about the recent navy yard shooting. The interviewer asked her how employers could screen for mental issues in potential employees, since they aren't allowed to directly ask in interviews. The lawyer laughed and said cheerfully "I tell my clients 'I'd rather you go ahead and violate (disablity hiring law) by asking inappropriate questions now and defend you in a lawsuit about it later, rather than ending up with a situation like that (the shooting) down the line." I don't know if she's normally that stupid or she secretly had a huge liquid lunch beforehand

What would you ask, anyway?

"Are you a massive jerk who thinks it's okay to take out your problems on others?""Are you the GOOD kind of sociopath that will end up on the management fast track, or the other kind?"

I had to apply for a security clearance for a job I had in college. They had this very long panel of questions, and some of them were utterly wild. "Do you ever feel like a rubber band is wrapped around your head?" "Do animals ever talk to you?" "Do you hear voices telling you what to do?" I realize that the questions are probing for things like schizophrenia, but I found myself wondering if people really do ever answer "yes." I mentioned it to my boss, and he said that yes, yes, some people actually do. I guess if you're actually in the middle of a disease like that, you might not realize that most people *don't* hear voices or hear animals talking, or you might be relieved to see the question and think that, yes, this *is* normal, otherwise why would they be asking? Or something?

How often do you wear tinfoil on your head? How many windows of your home are covered in tinfoil?

When we lived in Alaska, it was fairly common to see tinfoil on windows. People would tape it on so that their young children didn't wake up at 2am, see the sun shining, and wake up Mommy and Daddy demanding breakfast.

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~It's true. Money can't buy happiness. You have to turn it into books first. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I don't know who would be surprised about his stories being exaggerations though. I work with about 20 Tucker-like dudeguys, I could have told you that one.

Yeah, anyone who didn't take his b.s. stories with a huge grain of salt was delusional. But it's funny as heck that he just crumbled when finally presented with proof. Exactly what an alpha male a-hole like he claimed to be would do? Or not. And I am so glad he lost so much of the money made from degrading women.

Ever since the beginning of CSI his character Nick has been beaten with the drama stick. Including be accused of the murder of a girl that he was starting a relationship with and being threatened with a gun to his face. I always thought that they singled out one of the characters to be beaten the most with the Drama Stick.

My husband and I call Nick the "Kelly Taylor" of CSI. Something bad is always happening to him.

Obviously a question asked by someone who's never owned a pet! Of course animals talk to us. They may not speak English, but they are quite capable of vocalizing their feelings and we humans become pretty darned good at interpreting the language of Petspeak.

Yep... I understand "parrot" and "dog". Overall, not that much different from "non-verbal toddler".

Yeah, I have to think the real answer to "Do animals talk to you?" would be, "Not in ways other than the ones they usually use to communicate among themselves." (But then I guess some people could imagine a lot of talking animals...hm.)

Well, my cats kinda speak to me. When Pollux trots ahead of me into the bathroom, hops into the bathtub, and meows at me as I enter, it's pretty clear that he wants me to turn on the water so he can get a drink. (Never mind the sink just a few feet away has the water dripping at all times. No, he wants bathtub water.)

Does that count?

And Max just came to me and prodded me with a paw because he wanted scritches. Pretty obvious. I don't think the question means that; I think the question means something like "Does your goldfish tell you to go out and throw spaghetti sauce on people's lawns?"