August 13, 2011

Vacation at last. I can feel my muscles releasing and turning into soupy red jelly. My heart has all but stopped and my sleep debt is rabidly being repaid. Fill me with fat and sugar! Quickly I’ll grow and consume grow and consume, as vacation becomes but a wrinkle in my tremendous girth.

I woke early Friday morning and began the process. The waves rolled, the cinnamon rolled, and soon my sides will roll.

This recipe, despite its lack of dairy and eggs, met with universal acclaim from my harsh family of omnivorous critics. Tempted as I was to devour the whole tray, I stayed my hand.

About 3/8 (3 ounces) of a container of Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese

1/4 cup vegan butter, softened

1 1/2 cup vegan powdered sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/8 teaspoon salt

I would use this ring from a desire to do good, but through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.

Mix yeast, sugar, and heated vegan milk in a large mixing bowl and let stand until foamy. Add egg replacer, melted vegan butter, flour, and salt. Mix well and knead for 5-10 minutes. The dough should be firm and smooth, not sticky.

Set the dough aside in a covered bowl for an hour to an hour and a half until it has roughly doubled in size. After the dough has doubled, turn it out onto a floured work surface, cover, and let rest for 10 more minutes.

Meanwhile, mix together brown sugar and cinnamon.

Roll the dough into a rectangle. Spread the dough with vegan butter, then sprinkle it evenly with the sugar mixture. Though I left the filling as is, it would be easy to add extra ingredients like raisins or nuts. Roll the dough on the longer side. Cut the rolls so that you have even slices. Cut straight down the middle first, then cut straight down the middle of the two sections, and finally cut down the middle of the four sections. In the end you should have eight evenly sized rolls if you follow this method.

Place rolls in a lightly greased baking pan or two. (A cookie sheet also works fine.) Cover and let rise until nearly doubled, about 30 minutes. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.