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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

On Competition

I'm competitive. If I'm running next to you, I'm not going to stop until you do. (Unless I am ready to hurl). At bootcamp, if the person next to me is doing crunches or leglifts faster, I'm going to match them.

Healthy, right?

Not always. I can, at time, get swept up in being competitive in life. I see on Facebook someone from HS is going to run a marathon.

"Well crap," I think. "I can do that too! I ran a half! Before you did!"

good vs. bad

Why do these thoughts cycle through my head? Why can't I be happy for the couple who just bought their house with a to-die-for back yard or the person who quit her job and moved to NYC? I am happy for them, damnit, why is my first instinct to be jealous?

I've tried so hard the last few years to be genuinely happy for others. To let things flow, to be happy with my space in this world and what I do in it. I try to use bootcamp for healthy competition to push me, instead of trying to beat the other person.

coach beth

The reason this is all coming up is there's a speedwork class of sorts starting up week after next with Coach Beth & Coach Pamela. They stressed last night that it's non-competitive. That you have to leave your competitiveness at the door. I wanted to do the class, but the first thing that popped into my head is the fact that it would be so hard to drop the competition. Leave it at home. (Or in the car)

Do you have mental blocks that you try to work on or improve? Or any guilty admissions you'd like to leave in the comments?