Month: February 2016

Heard today to pray to you like it’s my Birthday, and to ask for what I really want with a boldness. I will ask today with childlike faith, in the face of almost ridiculous odds.

So here it is:

1)Dear God: Help me to find a bigger, beautiful house in an excellent school district that will take care of my son’s needs. I feel he has so much to give the world and I want all the training and support he can possibly get. I ask for a large kitchen in which I can cook healthy food for my family and feed all my relatives. I ask for an extra bedroom so I always have a place for others to stay comfortably. I ask for nature to help bring peace, a neighborhood full of children for my children to play with, fantastic neighbors, and I ask for an office and space of my own in which to work and pray and write.

2)I ask for my book. I know my book is in me. I ask that you would send your Spirit into me and help me find my words. Let me write YOUR words.

3)I ask Lord Jesus, that my current house be sold readily to people who will love and cherish my gardens. I ask that they will take care of my neighbor Rich. I ask that they be driven to my house, and that it be the perfect place for someone quickly.

4)I thank you Lord, for healing my son’s legs and removing the sores. I know this was You. It was not supposed to happen quickly and they set our expectations for the worst. You far surpass all expectations. I am believing that right now you are healing my liver, and that I will live a life long and useful in which I will raise my children and bring joy into your world.

5)I ask Lord, for your continued blessings financially. You have prospered me and given me so much. I promise that what I have I will share. I believe you see that in my heart. I will use what you provide to spread your glory and kindness.

6)I ask Lord, and thank you for the continued healing of my spirit. Change me. Make me more useful to you every day and help me to share Your Love.

7)Finally Lord Jesus, I ask that you heal my sister: heal her home, take away her fear, save her home from the enemy and prosper her and her children. She does so much. She is Christ to me and to my family every day. We know you have our Aunt Judy there with you: hopefully she will help guide you to make my sister’s reach and breadth further than her furthest imaginings. Heal the heart of my mother-in-law, and help me to be better and more loving to her every day and not take on her pain as my own.

There are days that feel…so big. Giant-seeming problems without fixes, fears without a foe to focus upon, and massive feelings of helplessness and sadness even when you feel like you’re really trying to do everything right.

It’s 10 times worse when it’s about your kid.

I can stomach most things if it’s about me. But my little son, all of 4 years old, has a nasty rash and bumps that won’t go away, can’t hear out of his ears right now, and I’m now hearing from his teacher that maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to hold him back a year before attempting kindergarten…while waiting to see if he’s going to need another ear tube surgery (which would be his 3rd in 4 years).

My emotions are all over. My brain is all over – looking at what it would take to move to a different district, what might moving to the public school might change, what could fix his rash, what are we going to be able to do about his ears, why haven’t I changed pediatrician a before now…

Not necessarily creating a mountain of a molehill but a large vortex of pain and fear and anxiety and helplessness.

Dear Jesus, take the wheel. I know not where to go or think, I don’t know what the next steps are, but I trust you do. I will walk in peace and faith today knowing if I take that step, all the rest will follow.