Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I dont have much to say, Im trying to do all my homework today so I can have the whole weekend to myself! I have a love hate relationship with spring break. I love it because i can do whatever i want and not have to go to class, but i get extremly bored. I did line up some dvds to watch, but those are through. Im going to go get my taxes done so hopefully that will kill some hours. haha

here are some pictures that explain my life right now . hope you enjoy

We dyed the shop dog green! its so cute.

Ethan getting his hair cut, hes such a ham! whenever we go in there he flirts with all the ladies and they load him up with sugar.

MMMM bob evans! so good. I love soaking their buns in honey (lol) and getting this coffee drink! try it, i hate whipped cream but theirs tastes like ice cream!

My sister, Ethan, and myself at a wedding

and now pictures that just make me smile =]

if i ate these there would be a party in my tummy, so yummy so yummy!

Mario, chose the racoon outfit, you always looked so cute in it!

mmm starbucks. have you tried their new white chocolate cherry? or chocolate cherry? DO IT!

I hope everyone has a AWESOME st patricks day! drink a lot of green beer for me!

Monday, March 15, 2010

I wish my life was more entertaining so i would have more things to post about. All in all, life is pretty good, Andrew and I are officially dating. but since im such a weird comittiment person, we are presently openly dating. My choice. but he wants to be exclusive. So basically, im openly dating, and hes waiting for me to be okay with just being with him. The thing is, im not dating anyone else. I just need to ease into things my way.

I'm finally on spring break. I wasnt even stressed out about school, till spring break hit and then it dawned on me that I have to go back for another two months before summer. At least the weather will be nicer.

So, I need to ask you a question. Would you be offended if you were invited to a bridal shower but were not invited to the actual wedding?
yeah, i know what youre thinking, its kind of tacky, but what if i threw in it was a small destination wedding? would that change your mind.

i was a little ticked that this happened to me, but i made my friend a gift and decided to go to the shower and just grin and bear it, till i was literally one of the only people who did not get an invite. i cant really ask her right?
I dont even know why i wasnt to be honest, she knew i could afford it. so i dont know. What is the right thing to do? My boss/friend tami told me to just ask her because its obviously bugging me. but i dont want to come off as someone who is begging to go or trying to invite herself or feels shes entitled to go. but why go through asking me to the bridal shower? it just makes me feel like she was using me to get a gift? but shes not like that. i dont know, its a tough situation.

but here are some pictures from the party and the gift i made her.

the gift i made

awesome bag. i hate all pinks but this pale shade

the most amazing pasta salad EVER.

the best cupcakes in the world, they are from a local store here called the cakery

they melt in your mouth! so good, i couldnt even handle it

Kelly reading my card. I wrote:

"Marriage is an institution in which a man loses is bachelors degree and the woman earns her masters. ha, but with all joking aside kelly, i wish you and eric a lifetime of happiness and an eternity of love."

yeah, i love those one liners =]

she started to cry. yeah, i made the bride cry.

All in all i had fun, i just felt a little left out for not being invited, she does however want me to come out this summer and spend some time with her. shes a great friend but you could see why my feelings were hurt.

All i know is she got like a mass majority of pyrex stuff at her shower and im so jealous! i love me some good bakeware!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The other day my son and i ventured off to the science center. I dont know if they have one in your area but its a free place you can go and just look at all things science.

http://www.slsc.org/default.aspx for reference. well of course they have a pretty awesome gift store. and they had Astronaunt food! I have always wanted to try it. FREEZED DRIED FOOD. doesnt that just sound yummy?

As i looked the only thing that seems to interest my tummy was the freeze dried ice cream.
How can anyone botch ice cream. I mean they even deep fry it. it cant be that bad, so i purchased some and went home.

I later went over to Andrew's house and conned him into trying some with me.

looks yummy right? the store clerk told me it was SO GOOD. and that it had the same texture as the marshmellows in lucky charms. ( they were wrong, very wrong.) It by far has been one of the nastiest things I have ever tasted in my entire life. Andrew was not a big fan of it either. I dont even think he swallowed his.

"yay im so excited!"

It was the hardest thing ever, think of biting straight into a jawbreaker

not impressed

"I really hate you for doing this to me"

the HORROR!

It was by the far, i cant even describe it! I do not suggest this to anyone, maybe though, your worst enemy.

Friday, February 19, 2010

tonite my son is with his father, now his father is a total pos, i am so beyond mad so this is going to be a rant. i cant believe the lenghts my sons father will go, i totally regret ever being with him. the fact of the matter is, my son is with him right now and he left ethan call me to say goodnight but to make me mad, he hung up the phone on me, when i call back, if i didnt say goodnight within the first five seconds he would hang up on me, like im only allowed to say goodnight to my son. not even ask him how his day was. not do anything. What am i supposed to do? put up with this shit because of my son? corey has no rights. REPEATING he has no rights what so ever. so why do i have to put up with all this bullshit all the time? seriously? i chose to let ethan go over there to help my son out, cause believe me i get nothing out of it. I guess whenever i get him back im just going only let ethan call corey when he wants to, or tells me he does, no longer will i make him call him. no longer will i just let him have him every other weekend. because im sick to death of this.
I have no one to talk to and no one to get advice from. everyone i know is actually in a marriage with the person they have kids with and in love, and i feel like im the odd man out. corey has never been around. he was put in jail two days after i had ethan. then got out for a year. was still never around. would tell me he was coming to get ethan and never show up.

so now i finally got to tell ethan goodnight, after calling back to back 15 times in a row. after that corey has the nerve to tell me "youre welcome". fuck you, im not going to thank you for something that you should be doing and that i do for you on a nightly basis and wait, you didnt even do for me, cause you would hang up the phone on me. a person can only take so much before she snaps, yano?

i know im very personal on this blog, and im sure a lot of you are like, just deal with it, but when you are in the situation, its best to just vent, and then ask for advice. i dont know, i hope i dont offend anyone with anything i post.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

why am i fiening for spring? i just cant wait, the first nice day im going to go to the park, taking a blanket and just reading all day.

i of course will take a picnic, and it will be amazing. i might even fish to pass the time.

Spring will also mean my allerigies going into full blast. and humid humid days where my hair is a frizzy mess. but it also means, spring dresses!

i just bought this at forever 21, im stoked to wear it to be honest, i usually only wear dressed with black stockings, because im terribly afraid of my white legs. i was once told they looked like milk bottles, and that image has stayed with me forever lol

Other than sitting here dreaming about spring, a lot has happened in my life. I had to change my number because of Corey, seriously its gotten that bad. Ever since i found out that he was talking to his ex girlfriend behind my b ack, he refuses to be nice to me. Im pretty sure that if you do something bad to someone, they are the one supposed to be mad at you, not the other way around. I told him that there will be no more talk about us in a relationship and only talk about ethan. He says he wants to take me to court. I told him that we can sit down and type up an agreement and then going to a dmv and get it noterized. he still will not do that. that he doesnt need to sign anything to see his kid. I told him its not the most formal way of doing things but it will hold up in the court. and then he goes ona nd on about not wanting to see me and never talking to me again. Im sorry corey, but you have a kid with me, we will always have to talk, wether we go to the courts or handle it ourselves.

here is some parts of our converstation. i had asked him if he was bring ashley around ethan cause i felt as though i had a right to know who was around him

corey: anyway its no big deal.. i dont care 6:08 PM

Me: alright 6:08 PM

corey: whatever Courtney.. always the same god Damn answers.. 6:10 PM

corey: after this coming up friday, i dont want anything to do with you.. nothing 6:12 PM

corey: dont ask me for anything.. as soon as i get this job, im just going to go though the courts.. i dont trust you 6:14 PM

Me: you dont trust me because all i did was say alright? im sorry but im busy, i dont have time to sit here and discuss with you these things. 6:17 PM

Me: youre just mad cause youre not hearing the answers you want to hear. i told you why i wanetd to know, why do youw ant it to be a bigger thing then it is? 6:17 PM

corey: you never did before either, only if you get something from it.. 6:18 PM
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corey: (RE:2/2)no thats bullshit.. its was never about me.. if you were pissed about anything it was always my fault or you blamed me and that happend when it w 6:24 PM

corey: asnt my fault.. 6:24 PM

Me: why does it even matter what our relationship was? that is over and done with, right now and forward its just about ethan. and us raising him together. 6:25 PM

Me: yet you want to go into this huge thing and hate me because i wont be wtih you bcause of what you did. you keep fucking me over and then bitch when ive had enough 6:25 PM

Me: you think its fair to ethan to have his dad and mom fight? no its not, ive been nothing but civil with you, youre the one that wants to fight all the time. 6:26 PM

Me: the thing is, youre always going to have to deal with me, even if the courts decide it. even if the judge gives you those days, we will still have to talk. 6:26 PM

Me: i dont know why you cant just be nice to me like you were when you were in jail, why you have to fight wtih me 6:26 PM

corey: i dont like you, thats why.. 6:27 PM

Me: you dont like me because i wont be with you. ive done everything, told you to call ethan, trying to give you days to see him. but you want to fight, thats great for ethan. 6:28 PM

Me: hes going to grow up and think, oh my dad didnt call me because he doesnt like my mom, or he didnt come see me cause he doesnt like my mom. 6:29 PM

Me: you think youre hurting me, but youre hurting ethan. its kind of sad that you got to stoop to this level, that you cant just be an adult and grow up and realize you have a kid, you need to man up and realize that it takes a lot to riase a child 6:29 PM

Me: im not jealous. believe me, but i have a right to know whos around my kid, you can be friends with whoever you wantyou can be with who ever you want,justdidntthink it would be a week later 6:20 PM
Me: you think i like you? not in the very least but im the one telling you to call ethan, im the one asking you if you want to take ethan for the weekend, im the onetrying to get you involved in his life. 6:30 PM

Me: you just want to go to court with me because its you know it will be longer till you have to man up and be a father. 6:31 PM

corey: (RE:2/2)COURTNEY, EVERY FUCKING TIME I CALL TO TALK TO HIM YOU TELL ME YOU TOO GOD DAMN BUSY.. SO FUCK YOU! 6:32 PM

Me: fine ill just tell ethan that you dont want to see him this weekend. goodbye 6:32 PM

corey: no, i want to go to court so when the judge grants me my rights for him i can laugh in you face.. 6:33 PM

Me: youre insane, because he was sleeping when you FINALLY called? okay, and i work take care of ethan and have school i dont have time to sit on the phone texting you why i dont want to be wtih you, its not even about that 6:33 PM

Me: why would it even matter if the judge grants you rights, im trying to give them to you anyways, you moron. 6:33 PM

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i know that i should keep my cool and not call him names but he makes me so angry. he wnats to take me to court to get "rights" when im trying to let him see his kid and talk to him and he wont.
I changed my number and made a google voice number and gave him that, that way i can block him if he starts harassing me. it also can record converstations you have with someone, and i have a lot saved where he is royally going off on me, and it saves every single text message ever. so i think i have a pretty good case that i have tried to let ethan and corey have a relationship.

other than that my father had a surgery to put a stint in his heart, and everything went okay, he stayed in the hosptial longer than expected because his emzymes were low, but everything is okay now!
thank you for anyone who prayed or even thought about him in any way.

Today is valentines day and me and my ex (another one who im very good friends with ) are going to see valentines day at the movies, i hope its really good.

I have been doing a lot of interior decorating, even though i still live with my parents, i buy all this stuff to store away so when i get my degree and move out, im not sitting on milk crates looking at the mall
here is some of my inspiration.

the last one is my old art teachers house. you cant see what makes it amazing, but i used to clean his house for spare cash. He has records in every inch of his house, and it was just a really cool place.

I hope everyone has a wonderful valentines day! and i leave you with this