News, Views and Analysis

New Frontiers In Journalism

Sept, 1 2016 - Comedian and oil company lobbyist Ezra Levant today unveiled his latest media coup at a downtown intersection in Chapleau, Ontario. While the sudden shift from failed-online-video-and-podcast-recycling-group-blog to a Magic Marker and Bristol Board format took some Rebel subscribers by surprise, Levant insists that this new incarnation marks a huge technological and journalistic leap forward.

“It’s low cost, incredibly efficient, and environmentally friendly,” explained Levant. “And you’ll notice that we manage to convey exactly the same quantity of news at exactly the same level of detail, analysis and accuracy my followers have come to expect. See how I used the different colours of marker, and how nice and straight the lines of text are? People appreciate that.”

Levant dismissed critics who attribute his new format to failure of his last venture to attract advertising, and to the departure of several key contributors. “I think it’s great that Brian finally found himself a real job,” said Levant. “And I couldn’t be happier that that faggot Antichrist Coren found a publisher for his socialist, Muslim-loving anti-Israel feminazi blasphemy. No, I didn’t read it. I don’t read books named after guitars. And it didn’t have any pictures, did it?”

Although many Rebel supporters with paid subscriptions were at first nonplussed, the majority rallied quickly behind Levant’s new venture. “I think it’s great that Ezra’s breaking down the last barriers between audience and, uh, whatever it is he is”, said Bryna Gene, in the last comments of the Rebel site. “He’s the last free thinker left in Canada who really encourages his readers to think for themselves.” “I agree”, added Ryan Djeaan in a response. “He’s the last free thinker left in Canada who really encourages his readers to think for themselves.”

Meanwhile progressive bloggers across Canada reacted with shock and horror to the news. “I guess I could buy a few cartons of yellow stickies and plaster the lampposts in Chapleau with disparaging comments”, said a visibly shaken Facebooker who referred to himself only as TR. “But what’s the point? What’s the point of anything anymore?”