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Me: ... I... I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.. why would you lie on this? If I didn't check this out, I would not or perhaps will never know. Besides, I don't know what else have u been lying to me.Him: I am not lying.. I'm just hiding it from the public. Remember the conversation we had last week? I've tried to hint you, but u just don't get it.Me: Owh... now it makes much more sense now. Nicely done, congratulation!Him: thank you.Me: That wasn't a compliment.Him: Haha.. I know.

Do men always incorporated with lies? Well... let's check the record. Once upon a time my granddad lied my grandmom. My father lied. My brother lied. My uncle lied to my aunt till they got seperated. My exes lied. Farid lied. My friends all lies all the time. Some man said they lie to get off from trouble. Some men said they lie to please some people's heart. But does it hard to at least be honest at something? No, I'm not accusing the entire XY population but so far... I don't know, I have a skeptic intuition when men trying to bull shit me.

And again.. I am not angry, its just a little bit of disappointment.

Coversation earlier...Him: You're not afraid going out with me?Me: Like I said last time...Him: No, I mean... u accept me as I am?Me: Oh come one, if u're my boyfriend... there will be things or...Him: *shock disbelief*Me: Oh my God, that did not come out right... I'm so sorry...Him: *still jaw dropping*Me: I mean.. if I take u seriously, there will be things or two that I would be strict on. You can see that I dont prohibit you from clubbing and such. You go if u want, I dont bloody care coz I'm not going. When I know you.. you already be this one person. I can't change you in split second. Therefore, I take you lightly and you can do what ever you want as long it doesnt drag my life in bull shit.Him: As pertaining to your question the other day, the reason I informed you that I'm going to the club so you will know where I am. I just wants to be honest with you.Me: Very well then. =)

And that must be the reason why I'm not angry when he lied to me on the top matter. I dont take him seriously. And he also realize he's the one who trying hard to get me and at the same time I need some time to make an adjustment to my life (pretty thankful he hv the patient for that). At the end of the day, we both know we're not gonna marry each other. The reason we agree with this relationship is just to fill in some empty spaces in each other's life. Therefore, we both live in the moment without worrying what comes ahead because I know... we wont be together for that long... and I know... he's not THE ONE. (I also have yet to know who is THE ONE, God must have it all pre-planned)

Living in a moment. I'm a girl who loves to read fairy tales but did not belief them at all. Once in awhile knowing this guy makes me feels like living in fairy tale (well.. you can imagine he's the kind who would do everything for me and care me like a living gem, so far... too good to be true, heh?), which contradict from what I'd been belief on. And again... I'm living in a moment. Who knows... nightmares is just around the corner.

It was a rather fine sunny saturday, twas having lunch with my father at SJMC and suddenly my sister called.

Marissa: Kak Lydia, where are u now?Me: SJMC la, wat u think?Marissa: Have mama told u that ur room got flooded?Me: What?!Marissa: Owh mama haven't told u then, suddenly we heard bunyi 'hujan' at upstairs.. we when up and the sound came from ur room. Its like waterfall came down from ur ceiling. Paip from tank atas pecah, we're calling a plumber.Me: ?!?!?!Marissa: I think u need to come home.

So thats a short call I received from my sister, after put my father at the dialysis center... I rushed back home.

I reached home, my mom and the maid had just brought down those mattresses for sun dry. And most of my stuff in my room had been brought out to clear the room. But I managed to get some photos courtessy of my sister.

Its been a very tiring weekend on cleaning and drying my stuff out on the sun. And it had been a very hot weekend as well. Oh do u know 3/4 of my cupboard were affected? I have to bring out all my clothes out of the cupboard and dump in washing machine. And it affected most of parquet as well. Thank goodness I brought along most of my gadgets.

To look at the bright side, my mom always wanted me to do some spring cleaning of my room. And yeay, we're getting a laminated floor boards!

I sorta promise to spend some time with my bf since it's his bday that day

Well.. not that early, we left at 10 instead of 11pm. haha

I wasn't in a mood much to go whereabouts since I was having a post-hotness headache. So we decided to just wander around KL (and also because the air-cond is just nice at that specific time) without getting down from the car which most of the time that we do is just talk.

He sensed my exhaustiveness (talk about the hot weather and tired of the event colabo) and I guess he got quite a common sense, he started to massage at the back of my head to ease my headache. It was not so bad anyway. After the pain ease a bit, I started to demonstrate him another point at the back of the head for muscle stiffness or headache massage (and it may sometimes bring an opposite sex limb at their knees.. haha) and he noted.

Then coincidentally I was touching my face after that, I could smell homme perfume from my fingertips. I think it got transfer when I was massaging his head along with his neck.

Me: (sniff sniff my fingers) your perfume smell nice... what are you wearing?Him: Polo...Me: (still sniffing) Really? Which one?Him: Oh.. I cant remember what's the name but it's definitely my fave one.Me: Owh.. ya know, I love one range of Ralph Lauren for man... the name is Ralph Lauren Silver and I'd been crazy about it ever since they launched that range 5 years ago. I even bought for my ex and my uncle's bday on that year. It smell quite masculine, pretty much like yours. And previously I would drop by at the perfume department once in a while just to give a sniff. But I dont do that anymore.Him: Really? Well.. I cant remember mine. I dont usually bother with the name.. its like I go to perfume counter, I just take what I think smell nice. All I can remember that this perfume's bottle is some sort of black color, with a silver package.Me: ???? the bottle is square or cylinder?Him: Square...Me: (still sniffing) omg, that's Ralph Lauren Silver la sayang oooi~!!!

That explains why I kept sniffing my finger ever since I notice that smell. Shish.

"i dont mind if u suka org lain and later on u want to be with org lain... i'm ok with that, but u must let me know awal-awal la.. u're young and I cant stop u from making ur own choices... but i just can hope it wont happen la.."

I only able to answer it with a nod. Somehow I felt the above quote is a bit powerful, too powerful for me to give a verbal reply.

The quote had been blurted out from my bf over dinner after I complaint about my best friend to him. Yes, you heard (or read) it right.. my bf. Its long time since I get involve in any relationship. I actually in doubt with this one too earlier, but I sorta give up due to I can sense his sincere-ness and I don't know, just fascinated since I never felt so been taken care of so seriously before. Its too 'so' till i said it twice.

I know my relationship with him didnt get much approval from couple of my buddies (due to extend certain factors) but I just want to let it flow. Further more, when I'm in need of my buddies far back then they barely available to feed my soul, but once there's a guy walk into my life who care for me and made me smile constantly each and every day... those buddies sorta start giving their p.o.v's. What the heck?

So, sayonara series of 'oops, sorry la dik.. akak dah kawin' excuses each time a guy wants to get to know me. Once upon a time, I don't need a boyfriend due to I have a bestie that can fill up my soul and somehow I felt he'd done a marvelous job till I dont have to find love from other guy (why I sorta feel this is like snippet from Cecilia Ahern's 'Where Rainbows End'?). And now, my bestie sorta neglected me, which I think it's ok for me (though other ppl don't find my justice over this scenario) because somehow I realize I need to move on without depending on my besties. And apparently that guy coincidentally came in perfect timing to fill in my current semi-empty soul. Which I feel pretty much grateful because he's there for me all the time (so far) and he accepts me as what I am (so far) regardless I'd showed him much flaws before.

Its been one week this quote ringing in my head, ever since my induction training at the academy last week.

And coincidentally, the above quote practically reflected in my thoughts on these recent scenarios:

It Takes Two To Tango : FriendshipI don't know if I changed over these years, but most of the people around me does. I don't mind change, changes could be good sometime. But I do care if some friends are gradually ignoring me, left me out in the picture, insignificantly. Deep voices in my head popped a question "Dey, don't u get this scenario all the time?". I do. But I did not testify. Let me say this clearly, in friendship... I cannot do this alone. You and I have to play equal part to maintain this relationship. If I sorang je yg play the part, nampak macam I sorang je yang terhegeh-hegeh nak berkawan. And I dont like that. Therefore, if you're my friend, start acting like one. If not, baik tak payah.

It Takes Two To Tango : MarriageWent out for movie with my office colligue, Dev, had open my eyes on the above topic. Well, I never discuss much on marriage before, maybe I think marriage is a very heavy topic to discuss on... especially from a girl who so naive on this subject. Dev told me bout his history and his divorce thingy. One thing caught my attention when he start babbling on marriage "ye la, time bercinta dulu sayang-sayang la, masa tu kentut pon wangi. but once u get married, u start to feel the responsibility, even my wife masa tu pon change. At office she marah-marah, at home oso she marah-marah. Then marah if I buang sampah tak masuk tong sampah. I told him what kind of a man I am, masa bercinta dulu ok je, Ni bila da kawin, when I nak kluar je banyak soal". Hurm, I'm not defending his wife... but, it takes two to tango in marriage. Both parties have to give and take and do their parts equally la to maintain the quality of the marriage. Its like... I dont marry you just to be your bloody door mat! You get what I mean?

So thats about it. I kinda like Nabil Ahmad's tagline, i think its quite a genious and its like so... in your face! Lu Pikir La Sendiri!