5 definitions
by
FrankGrimes

N: Generalized term for a resident of Massachusetts......has evolved to mean any obnoxious loudmouth. The most genuine Massholes are so ignorant and belligerent that they think Masshole is a compliment.

A Masshole takes pride in his aggressive and illegal driving habits. They are too cool to use turn signals. They will nearly wreck you as they cut you off pulling out of the local strip mall, and then drive 30 miles an hour in a 55 zone while they try to light their cigarette while screaming at their children.

A Masshole's car could be a brand new BMW or a beat up 88 Chevy Caprice. It will probably have a "My Kid is an Honor Student" sticker and a sticker endorsing some Irish or Italian local politician you've never heard of.

Massholes infest the nicer northern states of New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine during the summer months and, ironically, do nothing but complain about the lack of malls once they get there.

For Christmas, Santa brings New Hampshire thousands of Massholes on vacation.

Butters is in class with Stan, Cartman, and Kenny. When Kenny died for good in season five, Butters became their new best friend. Unfortunatly when his use as a friend didn't meet up to their standards, Butters gets fired as the new best friend, and loses his mind creating Professor Chaos. ....definition is from southparkstudios.com

2. Motto of Lance Armstrong (cyclist, Texan, cancer survivor, republican) and his devoted legion. It is also the name of what started as a charity drive but soon devolved into an insidious PR stunt. At press time, it's safe to say that Livestrongmania has peaked. Fewer people are wearing them and fewer still (laggards) are buying them.

Seeing someone sporting the 'livestrong' is very helpful, because it may save you from having to talk to them for 10 minutes to figure out that they are a tosser.

NOTE:The bracelet may have magical powers, because it seems its wearers are bestowed with infinite wisdom, crystalline moral values, and certain athletic prowace.

MARKINGS: Livestrongers are a varied group, but you will note everything from hats with fraternity letters to polo shirts with the logo of some software company on it. Favorite brands include Nike, Abercrombie and Fitch, Eddie Bauer, and GAP.

Their workspace is likely to have not fewer than 40 pictures of their children nestled among various inspriational quotes and motivational posters.

Their vehicle of choice is likely an SUV or some Volvo wagon, and will almost certainly have a vanity plate with the person's nickname on it. It will be covered with stickers pledging allegiance to the President, stickers heralding the academic achievements of their children, and stickers to let fellow motorists know that they take holiday on Nantucket or the Outer Banks.

HABITS: If you encounter a Livestronger and you are not wearing the bracelet yourself, you will get a smug "tsk tsk" look while inside they quietly judge you. Many of them suffer from a dehabilitating form of OCD where they cannot spend 5 waking minutes without checking their mobile.

When I saw the 4 year old in the stroller wearing a Livestrong bracelet, I knew it was time to take mine off.

N: Slang term for a rear spoiler that is so big and ignorant that it looks like someone glued a parkbench on the trunk of their car. Parkbenches are commonly found on all make of chaviots and pre-1995 Civics, Integras, Eclipses, and Accords (lowered). Most cars will usually also have an array of non-functioning "race" gauges across the dash, as well as neon running lights on the ill-fitting aftermarket ground effects body kit.

If you see a car with a parkbench, enjoy a chuckle but give it a wide berth........driver is likely smoking a cigarette with one hand, talking on the phone with the other, and driving with his lap.