Groundhog Day takes a wild, meth-induced bloody ride in Blood Punch (my new favorite movie), a horror comedy written by Ethan Pines. This film starts out hard and never lets up – bringing us hilarity and death, murder and mayhem, sex and blood, meth and peyote, carnage and deserts, snarkiness and more snark – this is indie horror filmmaking at its finest. Seriously. Why wasn’t I in this movie?? (Oh yeah. Current status: somewhere in the woods of Alabama, far from civilization…*sighs*) You guys are gonna LOVE this one though (specially you, E.!).

So what we have is this:

A young man is lured into a dangerous love triangle that begins to take a series of shocking and grisly supernatural turns.

(Although for those more on the squeamish side, it’s really not as grisly as they make it sound. There’s tons of death but the majority of it isn’t graphic. That said, for those who enjoy blood soaked…um, bloodiness(?)…there’s a great scene featuring that which I particularly enjoyed. 😉 )

Milton is this super smart dude who got busted cooking meth and is in drug court ordered rehab. There he meets Skyler (whom I now aspire to be like) – an incredibly snarky, kinda bitchy, but ultimately sexy gal – who desperately needs him to help her and her boyfriend out with a meth cooking job. A BIG one. If he agrees, he gets to break out of rehab that night and gets a sweet payday on top of it – all for a one day job. Tiny little catch…Skyler’s boyfriend is a psychopath. No really. Dude is the devil himself (as Skyler says). An entirely terrifying yet strangely charming (at times) psychopathic devil. Lemme tell you, Ari Boyland walks a very fine line here playing Russell, and he tiptoes across that edge like a BOSS. Since this IS a horror movie, Milton takes the gig only to find out just how truly sadistic Russell is and how caught up in Russell’s web Skyler is. And then from there, things just get…well, hilariously bad.

One of the great things about this film is HOW we’re seeing things play out – via flashback. Not just any ordinary flashback though. Nope, Milton wakes up one morning to find a video message from himself in the bathtub explaining the whole situation. It’s truly fabulous. As are the various ways that people get killed off in this film. I mean, if you live to die another day, again and again and again and again…like, really how many ways are there to kill someone? These guys are determined to find out and some ways are truly inventive. So to sum up – 3 kids (okay, college kids but still) trying to work out why they’re repeatedly dying, repeatedly killing each other, trying to escape, and all while sitting on one freaking HUGE pile of meth. Oh, and there might be a romantic squabble or two in there. Super easy sitch to control. It’ll be fine. They got this.

Milo Cawthorne as Milton is great. He’s the perfect blend of confused, edgy, pissed off, longing, scared that’s required here, and is funny as hell. He and Olivia Tennet as Skyler have excellent chemistry, playing off each other extremely well, with their quip delivery on fleek. SO MUCH SNARK. It was like I died and went to heaven. *sighs* Olivia also had the job of making a not so likable character, a sympathetic one, which she did with great aplomb. There were times I wanted to hate her but I could only just say, “You’re a jerk and I’m not talking to you right now. So there.” and then made up with her, like, two minutes later. That was REALLY annoying in that one part when she did that one thing that was just all UGH, you know? 😉

Random aside: Apparently, the majority of these actors were all on some Power Rangers show (RPM??). I’m too old to have gone through a Power Rangers phase but ya know, if you’re not old and decrepit like myself and were totes into PR, then you get the added bonus of nostalgia. Just FYI. 🙂

Guys, this movie is kickawesome. We need more well made, SMART movies like this one, especially in this genre. If you wanna check it out (and you know you wanna – right, E.?), the link’s up there at the top. You can also check ’em out on Facebook if you wanna get in touch. Ugh. So fucking good. I’d hate for you to miss out…

Are we all getting a little tired of anthologies by now? ABC’s of Death and V/H/S’s all over the place? Yeah? Well, screw them, watch this and have your faith in the anthology genre restored. Volumes of Blood doesn’t just wipe the floor with those two, it wipes the floor with blood (and brains…and guts…and stuff…) and remains wickedly funny throughout.

Volumes of Blood is a super indie collaborative effort out of Kentucky that involved almost 150 people (I believe – correct me if I’m wrong, P.j.!), which is pretty amazing in and of itself. MY last indie project, I was acting, co-directing, holding a boom AND getting coffee, lol. Ah….movie making….I can’t remember the last time I saw an indie look this good though, particularly a lo-budget one. “Misty! Stop talking about behind the scene crap and tell us what happens ON screen!” Yeah, yeah, I hear you…

One badass mofo

Urban legends is what we have here, guys and gals. But not those silly old boring urban legends we’ve all heard a MILLION times before (no Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary here!). No, we get new urban legends, entirely made up as the film progresses. I have to admit to being a sucker for urban legends because really they’re nothing more than modern fairy tales and my fascination & study of fairy tales is a lifelong thing (that I’m going to refrain from babbling on about – see I can be good). And the legends here have some unique modern spins indeed. From demonic energy drinks to learning lessons about playing pranks to satanic encyclopedias (c’mon, this NEVER ends well!) to ghostly visitors who like to tease…you’ll have a blast from beginning to end.

What’s more is that all the effects are PRACTICAL effects which absolutely makes me shiver with delight. It’s that absolutely brilliant old-school style with just a hint of a lovely Troma-esque influence….*sighs*…..Especially the end….oh the end…There should have been more blood and gore. Yeah. Maybe that’s my one complaint. MORE of this, please!! So those of you who are into that too will def get a kick out of this one.

Blood, blood, blood, yay!

There’s also some really good acting going on here. Not gonna lie – sometimes grabbing your friends up to make a movie means not so wonderful acting. Just the truth. But here? Nah. These guys are GOOD. There were a couple of people who only had a line here or there that were a little stiff but all the characters that were essential held my attention and sold it. TOTES. This is even better when you know that a good portion of things were improv.

And ya know what? If I STILL haven’t managed to convince you, I’ll just let my favorite line of the movie do it.

Today’s the day of turkey and gratefulness and to combine these two things, I’m sharing one of my favorite Thanksgiving movies – Thankskilling!! There’s nothing better than a homicidal turkey and topless Pilgrims on Thanksgiving, so I suggest you give Thankskilling a view after you’ve killed your turkey dinner. Heh. Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends!

Party Slashers, written and directed by Carl Bachmann, is currently in the midst of a Kickstarter campaign to get this movie funded so I thought I’d share with all of you awesome people so we can continue to support indie film. The film is about a group of high schoolers who team up to survive a Halloween party crashed by undead mass murderers whom were accidentally summoned during a Dungeons & Dragons game. D&D, huh? I never realized what a dangerous game that was. 😉

They have a test scene up on Kickstarter and are rewarding backers custom Grindhouse posters featuring them in it, opportunities to get decapitated in the film, and other cool stuff. (Grindhouse posters? Kickawesome!!) Check out the trailer below and donate a bit if you’re able!

Apparently this was made before Alien vs. Predator cause two dudes are having an argument about who would win.

Wait, Harry Potter is in this??

Is Predator really art?

Seriously how old is this movie??

This party sucks.

That guy just said “I have ants in my pants” while wondering where all the women are. Wait, I watched that movie already. It was called “Antfarm Dickhole”…

Great, now Netflix is having trouble loading this cinematic masterpiece. *sighs*

This is taking forever. So…so far we’ve got a group of kids that are at a party being filmed with a really really lousy camera; a hot chick that’s really into comics and nerdy guys; a guy I’m pretty sure is my ex-boyfriend; Harry Potter; and a bunch of dudes making asses of themselves trying to get laid. I am VERY excited for the killer to come along!

Still waiting on Netflix to load…so…um…it’s been snowy a lot…yeah…I got new tires on my car! But now I apparently need like $900 worth of more work done. So that sucks.

Oh wait, movie is back!

“A blond with culture? Now I’ve seen everything!” This movie is so charming…

I think Yann is about to die!!

Apparently this guy doesn’t get out much because he just got way too excited about a t.v. and peanuts.

Oh thank goodness someone is dying. Maybe the rest of them will now too. They really are a disgusting bunch of kids, no lie. Some guy just came while this girl was making out with him and everyone’s mocking him now, lol. He needs new trousers.

Now Cecile (because apparently that’s her name) is all over Harry Potter who’s fondling a stuffed animal boa constrictor.

More death??

Dude, the Ripper just ninja’d that girl’s head!

Blood’s dripping from the ceiling and this witty guy asks the girl sitting next to him if she’s having her period.

Yay! The Ripper just showed up to the party with the girl’s head and started killing!! And some guy is being a bad ass and karate chopping him. w00t!

OW. Dude did the splits only to get his leg broken. And then he died. Is “poof” an insult? I think these kids are French.

Oooohhh, the kids are stuck in a loop! They can only just go back to the living room they were partying in. Yet, they’re still trying to run…five minutes later…*sighs* These guys are not too bright. And every time they enter the living room, this one kid falls onto his knees, screaming “No!!!!!!!”. *giggles*

Now, the guy who came while he was making out is beating to death Cecile while some other guy laughs hysterically in the background. Oh wait, she’s okay. Cum Guy is a douchebag and a half.

Oh no! I think Comic Book Hottie is about to die!

Now Comic Book Hottie is going around trying to kill people. I’m going to assume that the Ripper is a spirit and not a person. How much longer is this movie? Oh lord, an hour and eleven minutes. We’ve only covered 21 minutes.

Wait, now the Ripper is with the other group (cause they split up) and now everyone has guns. And he just punched a guy’s head in. I’m so confused.

Oh, HERE’s the nudity we were lacking the rest of the movie. Watching porn will definitely help him battle the Grim Reaper.

Aw, Grimmie killed the porn lady while he says “You’ve got nothing better to do than watch rubbish, you have 21 hours left.”

Now Dude has decided he’s going to commit suicide in the middle of the street. And then two of his dead friends come back with guns and start shooting random bystanders. I’m still confused…

This was made in 2004. Is all this gun violence supposed to be some sort of political statement?

Okay, dude succeeded in killing himself so I guess there’s no wrestling match?? Dammit, I was looking forward to that!

He’s talking to all his dead friends now and his friends are saying that Grimmie gave them two options – either go to hell or work for him. So they decided to work for Grimmie or “the Big Boss” as they call him. And now that Dude is dead, Grimmie says no wrestling match but Dude has to kill someone he loved while he was alive.

Oh, wait, Comic Book Hottie is apparently still alive so Dude has to kill her! Otherwise all his friend’s contracts will be up and everybody goes to hell.

THERE’S STILL 46 MINUTES LEFT IN THIS MOVIE. I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN TAKE IT.

A third friend has shown up saying he’s actually an angel and infiltrated their group. But now he thinks there are better benefits working for Death.

Comic Book Hottie is really confused and pissed off upon seeing Dude. Thinking Dude is going to up and kill her like he’s supposed to. Wait, no, he’s walking away.

Sorry guys, the movie has gotten way less fun and way more boring now.

They all just got randomly shot by someone in an elevator…

Dude went back to see Comic Book Hottie but he’s now saving her from his dead friends. And there’s a lot of guns again.

Random goth girl.

Lots of fighting.

Oh, goth girl is an Angel of Death. She told dead friend #1 to bring her Dude because he failed in killing Comic Book Hottie and his soul now belongs to goth girl.

Comic Book Hottie wouldn’t stop shouting that Dude was a coward and had no balls so he finally shot her.

Another shoot out between two dead guys.

Now the angels are fighting…

Goth girl/Angel of Death told Dude that his soul belongs to her and she’ll come back and take it whenever she wants. I really wish she’d come do that now. But instead he goes to some Halloween party at some bar.

And there’s still 22 minutes left. I think I’m going to skip watching the band “sing” and go make a sandwich.

Oh joy. The goth girl/Angel of Death is back and now there’s another shoot out in the bar. This movie isn’t predictable at all. Nope. I wonder what will happen next? Oh. Another fight. Of course. *sighs*

Goth girl/Angel of Death just lost her head. Man, that sucks.

Yay! Grimmie showed back up! They’re finally going to have their duel!

They’re dueling with daggers or some shiz. Worst duel EVER.

Uh-oh. Grimmie is in trouble for killing people whenever he wants! Now he’s dueling a whole committee of men in masks with his apparently brand new super powers. He thinks he’s a Jedi, ha!

Now Grimmie is being punished and wants Dude to become Death. And Dude is all, “What a load of rubbish.”

And then Dude’s face exploded all over the place and he became Death.

THE FREAKING END.

So to sum up, I’m sure there was some sort of meta or existentialist message here somewhere but I totally missed it, although I do have to admit that for being incredibly lo-budget, the cinematography wasn’t that bad (especially considering it was 2004) but still watch this one at your own risk.

What do you get when you’ve got a wannabe vampire and an actual vampire living together? Well, in episode 2 of Vampz! you get a dead, coked up vampire hunter. Whoopsies! Not to mention a very drunk little brother who stumbles upon the scene.

I am totes digging on this web series – it’s fun, it’s quirky and it’s got so many things I love (like vampires!). Plus the special effects are pretty groovy for a (I’m assuming) lo-budget production. There’s not a ton of special effects, no over the top CGI or anything but the few they use feel very organic and really enhance the plot. Major kudos for that, guys.

I also really, really love the character of Ashlee (not to mention the actress that plays her). She’s adorable (like me! ;)). All the characters are fun but she’s definitely my fave.

I’m not sure how many more episodes are in this season (I know 3 is out and 4 is about to hit the net) but I’m excited and I really hope there’s a second season as well. Hmmm…I wonder if there will be new characters? Or bit parts? Ahem…. 😉

Check out Episode 2 in all it’s glory, y’all and let me know if you’re digging it as much as I am!

This was originally posted on Rogue Cinema back in February but now that the rest of the series has been going up, I’m reviewing the whole thing here, episode by episode. To read the original, go here!

VAMPZ!, written by Omar Attia and Lenny Buccellato, is about the supernatural hijinks & misadventures of Simone, a “wannabe vampire” and her ditzy cheerleader roomie, Ashlee. Described on their Facebook page as “a horror comedy webisode series that could be described as Fright Night meets Three’s Company (without even a whiff of Twilight)”, I’d say it’s exactly that (although Twilight is mentioned though only in mocking ;)).

Currently, there’s only the first episode of this web series up on YouTube and it starts out strong with Simone interviewing several people as potential roommates. As the view switches from potential roommate to potential roommate, their hilarious stories of roommates past and their interests (really? Tentacle porn??) overlap to create a hysterical montage that really drives home the fact that finding someone to live with is scary business. To add to that scariness, when the three potentials say to Simone, “Gee, you kind of look like a vampire…” she responds with, “I AM a vampire! Duh!”. Oh Simone, with your black hair and gothy ways…we’ll see how far that gets you in life…

After another day of hapless searching, Simone’s annoying fraternal twin brother comes over to cheer her up. Or something. Then arrives, Ashlee, who can best be described as one of those annoyingly cheerful, ditzy cheerleader girls that you always kind of wanted to kick in high school. Simone is full of “No effing way!” till her brother points out that she’s already said no to 30 something other people and can’t pay the rent herself. With a sigh of disgust, Simone agrees to let Ashlee move in.

So what happens next? Oh, but that’s much too fun to give away, dear reader, so you’ll simply have to watch for yourself. This is exactly the kind of web series I love – silly, irreverent and with a touch of darkness. The script is fun and I love the way this is shot – not sure what kind of camera they used but there’s a blur around the edges that makes it all a little dreamy (oh and speaking of dreams, wait till you see the dream sequence in this one. Ha!). All the actors do a fine job with their parts with the stand out being Louis Bacigalup as Simone’s annoying brother (seriously I kinda wanna give the guy a good kick to the shins).

Since I haven’t been so much in a blogging about movies mood but have managed to watch a few flicks, I’d thought I’d do some quickie reviews. Maybe it’ll help get my head back in the game. 🙂

This is a fun little documentary if you’re into Star Wars. Did you know there’s a place in NYC where they teach you to fight with light sabers??? How cool is that?? This also features a belly dancing Leia and well, that’s just hot. Like TOTES.

Loved this one, though it broke my heart a little. Based off a book from the 1800s, I believe, this one tells the story of a Maisie, a little girl caught between absent, bitter parents and their respective much younger lovers. Featuring the total hottie that is Alexander Skarsgard and a very awesome Julianne Moore, this is a fabulous little drama that teaches you what NOT to do if you get divorced with kids. Seriously people. *eye roll*

Hehehe. Drunk people and aliens – why did no one ever think of this before?? Or did they and I just missed that movie? Anyway, this one reminds me a lot of Slither and I loved that movie so very much. Great cast (especially when everybody starts getting drunk) and super fun, definitely add this one to your list.

And other than that, I’ve mostly been catching up on the last season of The Walking Dead and Chuck (my dad used to LOVE that show so much, he would call me every week to remind me it was on but I never made it past the first season – it’s actually amusing just a little short on plot as they pretty much keep doing the same plotlines over and over again).

So…was I the only person who wasn’t aware that Lisa Loeb had an acting career? Because yeah…that was the best thing Serial Killing 101 had going for it. Not even Thomas Haden Church could save this atrocity (although he had the one funny line in the whole thing). Okay, Corey Feldman’s cameo was kickawesome too. Just overall…it always makes me sad when a movie has a decent cast, has a decent idea and just can’t follow through.

Casey (Justin Urich) is a teen who is having some issues lately – he’s moody and cranky and well, ya know, a teenager. Plus his dad died a year ago, so there’s that. And there’s of course a girl, Sasha (Lisa Loeb), whom he desperately wants to impress. And a gym teacher (Thomas Haden Church) who seems to have a personal vendetta against him. What’s the solution to all these issues? Becoming a serial killer – DUH! Although that works mostly to impress Sasha because she’s like TOTALLY GOTH and shiz. TOTES.

“I can be your first victim? That’s hot.”

And one more thing – while Casey is studying up on how to be a serial killer (because basically this film is just that, a tutorial), there’s a real serial killer running around serial killing teenage girls. We only see one murder but it’s a doozy. Our serial killer kills the Annoying Ditzy Popular Blond by…wait for it…stuffing a doll in her mouth! OMG. The insanity.

Basically this flick is suffering from a severe lack of plot. All we see are Casey and Sasha reading books on serial killing and going to the library (apparently this was before internet?); Casey’s lame attempts to kill (he can’t even dissect a frog in biology, y’all!) and his murderous daydreams which are just downright stupid. I read on Wiki that someone said this movie is better than it has any right to be – um…I’m guessing someone has never seen another movie before? This is much worse than it has a right to be. The story is inane and there’s no mystery as to who the real serial killer is. There’s also not much in the way of funny happening. The only thing I liked were the PE coach’s insistence on always referring to PE as “gymnasium class” (with a Southern accent) and Corey Feldman’s “blink and you’ll miss it” cameo.

Don’t waste your time on this one. There’s way better dark comedies out there.