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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Lauren

Ok...It's official. I'm in love...lust...whatever. This may be the perfect woman. Hottie of the Day hails from Manayunk, and graduated from the University of Dela-where. She's a huge sports fan....works for a pharmaceutical company, so she can support my lack of income ass, and she is bringing back the perculator. Thats right. I dare someone to go to Sea isle, find this hottie and challenge her to a perculating contest. I Double Dog Dare you. She promised she'd rip you apart. And she is goddamn HOOOOT! Classy look to this broad. She was an athlete herself in high school, now she's taking all sorts of dancing....some I've never heard of, but I bet it involves her shaking her ass...looking over her shoulder smiling. Oh and she's studying for her Master's so put down the porn and Laguna Beach and start reading. A good place to learn to read would be this website. We occasionally pull off big words to impress the smart ladies. Plus, I've recently upgraded from Highlights magazine to the TV Guide Network.....and reading is fun! Right. But if it helps you pull a hottie like this, I'll be converting to supernerd this week.

Tip of the Day

Q: Besides a bar, what's a good place to meet a hottie like you?

Ayyyyy: I know the obvious question here is 'where to meet a girl besides the bar'? But if you do find yourself trying to hit on a girl at the bar, please don't say 'cheer up', or 'smile'- Huge turn off! No one is automatically going to get happy b/c you told them too. Instead of asking a girl 'can I buy you a drink'?, ask what she's drinking and ask the bartender to get another one right away for her and strike up a convo in the meantime. Try to show off in your dance skills even if you're goofing off w/ your buddies. All girls appreciate a guy w/ smooth dance moves- and this can be done anywhere, not just the bar! And a guy got my attention right away b/c instead of hitting on me in an obvious way, he challenged me to a one on one game in basketball and beer pong, making a statement that he was definitely going to win. So of course I had to prove him wrong!

I once tried this. It's how I got my prom date. she was the best basketball player in our school history and I told her that I (an average or below basketball player) would beat her one on one. I did it. I stuck up for our gender fellas, and I won. Just don;t make the mistake I made and tell her that it's because the male gender is superior. that earn me an elbow in the nuts while she was posting me up.