Elton John's 'Starburst' iPod nano

Only one thing looks worse than Winnie the Pooh having his face sandpapered off, and that's any gadget covered in Swarovski crystals. Here's a look at the five crystal-clad abominations that have stood out most over the last few years. There are so many others, of course.

Admirably, Elton John's latest release--Swarovski crystal-encrusted iPod nanos--aims to benefit victims of HIV and AIDS. Unfortunately, there has been a distinct oversight--the rest of us poor souls have to look at the obnoxious devices.

For just $590, you can take home one of nine differently colored 8GB iPod nanos, each of which is just a normal $162 iPod nano peppered with chunks of crystalline vomit.

Oh, yes, delightful reader, part of your money would go to the Elton John AIDS Foundation, and that's a tremendous cause. But far better would be to buy a standard iPod nano, and give £300 in cash to the charity.

Sennheiser CrystalRoc HD 25

"Oh no, not you too, Sennheiser," we said when faced with an image of Sennheiser's "luxurious" CrystalRoc HD 25 headphones. These were such a delightful model before CrystalRoc got its mitts on them in 2007.

And, to rub salt into the gaping wound, they came with a $442 price tag. $442 to look like you forgot to take your brain medicine? Nein danke, Sennheiser!

Moto Krzr K1

Being in fashion generally means you can get away with murder when it comes to looking like a tool. Motorola's Moto Krzr K1 is a fashion phone, and was hoping to get away with the same crime when it agreed to be encrusted with 300 Swarovski crystals.

But we handed out no get-out-of-jail-free cards to this disgraceful attempt to lure gullible fashionistas. This thing cost $1,200. You could have a night with a charming lady for that.

Bosendorfer piano

We saved the best (or worst) until last.

Bosendorfer pianos are naturally beautiful in sound and shape. Except for a 2007 model that was brutally attacked by its creators, and forced to live out its life decorated with 8,000 hand-cut crystal scabs.

Only one was produced, and it was on sale for $750,000 in 2007. As a bonus for wasting so much money on something akin to Beyonce decorated in pieces of fungus, you got a stool thrown in! And that was covered in crystals, too.