(Closed) To Invite or Not to Invite…That is the question!

So…here’s my dilemma…my dad has been married to my stepmom for 7 years…she has one AMAZING daughter, one pretty good son, and two HORRIBLE sons…

I am asking my stepsister to be a bridesmaid for me because she has been such an amazing stepsister the past 7 years and I’m having all of my other sisters in the Bridal Party, so it’s only natural that I would ask her as well…Well…I don’t want ANY of my stepbrothers at my wedding…they have always been absolutely HORRID to me and all my sisters and I couldn’t IMAGINE having to put up with them at my wedding when I want to just enjoy my day and not have to worry

Here’s why they’re horrid:

One of them actually started a relationship with my sister a few years back and treated her like DIRT…

The other seemed to always find a way to insult me or my sisters everytime we came over to visit…we’re not talking in a joking “big brother” sort of way…but like a bully calling someone fat or stupid…they CONSTANTLY had something to say about my weight whenever I was over (I am a plus size girl)

Needless to say, they are RUDE, INCONSIDERATE, AWFUL, HORRIBLE boys…I would call them men if they didn’t act the way they do…

My problem is…if I ask my stepsister to be in the wedding party and invite my stepmom’s parents, who I adore, is it going to cause a bunch of drama with my stepfamily if I don’t invite the brothers? Even though my stepmom knows all the issues we’ve had with each other…

I just don’t know what to do…I really REALLY want my stepsister there…but I also don’t want to be worrying all day about what my awful stepbrothers are going to do to mess things up…

I would talk to both your step-sister and your step-mom. Maybe if she’s a bridesmaid it might cause a rift, and it might be more PC to have her contribute in another way, with a reading or something. Your step-mom will probably know why her sons won’t be invited, but it’s usually best to talk these things out (pertaining to your step-sis’s involvement) and have a good idea of the consequences beforehand. That being said, don’t let anyone talk you into inviting them! If you don’t want someone there, then don’t invite them. Good luck!!

ugh. How much do bad family members suck. So sorry you have to deal with them.

It will cause a drama, yes. I think unfortunately family issues always do. Talk to your stepmum about it, as suggested by WoodenShoes, and test to see how the water is but I have the feeling it will cause drama.

The question is if you want to fight this battle. There are battles you pick and decide if this is going to be one you do. Not discouraging here (I hate that you have to invite anyone you don’t like/know) just putting it out there.

Also, I know what you’re going through. My brother in law and I had a massive row so now I’m wondering if I should invite my only sister and him at all! That’s going to cause fireworks of anger from my parents.

@WoodenShoes: Ditto. Talk to the step-mom/sister. Yes, it will probably cause some drama, but families do get estranged, and this wasn’t even the family you were born with.

@nanacholito: There was MAJOR drama with my SIL/brother earlier this year about children not being invited to our wedding (including my nephew). I really don’t want my SIL there. But not inviting her isn’t worth the fallout. You should invite, but he doesn’t have to attend-married couples should be invited together.

Thanks for the advice, ladies! I definitely think you’re right that I should talk to my stepmom about it…if it becomes a big issue, I might just say forget it and only invite stepmom’s parents, no step siblings at all and blame it on the budget! 🙂

@mija22: Well, unfortunately it’s up in the air right now because my dad informed my sisters and I two weeks ago that he and my stepmom are talking about getting a divorce…he’s a serial husband…this is his third marriage…sigh…at least I might not even have to deal with the confrontation!