…..Don’t study me, you won’t graduate

What are you living on?

I do a lot of thinking. Actually, toooo much thinking. Only a daily basis my mind is always on 85 mph. I can’t help it. I try to redirect my thoughts. I try to focus on ONE task at a time but it’s extremely difficult. I’m a dreamer. I’ve always been that way. I’m pretty sure that it won’t change. But while I think a lot, I daydream even more. I dream about how I want things to be. I dream about how things were. I find my mind doing a lot of “time traveling”. Sometimes I really wonder if I’m in a coma or something and that I’m really dreaming about some of the things that happened to me. It sounds absolutely crazy but it’s 100% the truth.

I’ve realized that I’ve done the very same things that I said I would never do though..I’ve become a doubter. I’ve become a pessimist. I’ve become a “talker”. There have been plenty of days when I just didn’t see a way out. Or I couldn’t see the bright side to things. I have doubted myself and my abilities. I’ve become fearful of the future. I now expect to be disappointed and I don’t let myself get excited about things that I once DREAMED of. Now, I expect to be let down. I’ve lost that “hope” that I once had. It’s very weird because I was always the one that “hoped for the best. Now as I write this, I wonder where it went.

I know I’m not the only one. I’m almost sure that everyone has felt this way at some point. You lose hope in people. You think that they will always let you down. And some do. You get tired of hearing them “talk” about things. Because they seem to like to hear themselves talk. You stop expecting that promotion, that new house, that marriage proposal, that special person to ask you on a date, your children making good grades, your family coming together, that friend to call you, etc. You’ve lost hope. And we’re wrong for that. We’re all the way wrong for it.

For instance, I was talking to my father earlier and he asked what I planned to do in Chance’s honor this year. I told him that I will be doing a back pack drive for kindergartners. He told me that it was a great idea. Then he asked what my goal was. I said to him that I planned to only raise enough to buy 10-15 back packs with supplies. Man, he went off on me, lol!!! He said that my goal was too low. I said, “well Daddy, I just don’t want to get my hopes up to be disappointed”. And while I was saying that I thought about my Mom and a conversation that we had on yesterday. She came straight from church(yes, I missed. I plan to do better) and she had this glow about her. I was like, why are you so happy? She then went on to tell me about the sermon. She told me that the lesson was talking about Hope. Well when she starts talking, I immediately start tearing up. And of course, I start reading for myself.

So, this is how the lesson relates to me and you. Ezekiel 37:1-14

37 The Lord took hold of me, and I was carried away by the Spirit of the Lord to a valley filled with bones. 2 He led me all around among the bones that covered the valley floor. They were scattered everywhere across the ground and were completely dried out. 3 Then he asked me, “Son of man, can these bones become living people again?”

“O Sovereign Lord,” I replied, “you alone know the answer to that.”

4 Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to these bones and say, ‘Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! 6 I will put flesh and muscles on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

7 So I spoke this message, just as he told me. Suddenly as I spoke, there was a rattling noise all across the valley. The bones of each body came together and attached themselves as complete skeletons. 8 Then as I watched, muscles and flesh formed over the bones. Then skin formed to cover their bodies, but they still had no breath in them.

9 Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to the winds, son of man. Speak a prophetic message and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, O breath, from the four winds! Breathe into these dead bodies so they may live again.’”

10 So I spoke the message as he commanded me, and breath came into their bodies. They all came to life and stood up on their feet—a great army.

11 Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones represent the people of Israel. They are saying, ‘We have become old, dry bones—all hope is gone. Our nation is finished.’ 12 Therefore, prophesy to them and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: O my people, I will open your graves of exile and cause you to rise again. Then I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 When this happens, O my people, you will know that I am the Lord. 14 I will put my Spirit in you, and you will live again and return home to your own land. Then you will know that I, the Lord, have spoken, and I have done what I said. Yes, the Lord has spoken!’”

Now some may not understand what those scriptures actually mean. But I will tell you what I got from them. We have to speak LIFE over our lives. We have to have hope for everything. You know what, when you don’t have hope, you don’t have anything. Hope brings faith. God works off of our faith. Hope keeps you alive. I’ve been dying inside because I’ve lost hope in a lot of situations. I actually for a short while lost my faith. I didn’t really trust God the way I was writing. I didn’t. I “talked a good talk. But now, I’m speaking HOPE and stepping out on my faith. I know that my life is going just the way it’s supposed to. My script was written. While I may not understand what’s going on, I have the faith to know that everything is going to work out for my good. No matter what adversity. No matter what people DON’T do.

You have to be the same way. You have to speak the things you want into existence. Know that whatever is happening in your life is best for you. What God starts, He will finish. (that’s scripture by the way. Phil 1:6). He will also fight our battles. So don’t worry about the job loss, the past due mortgage, the utilities not being paid, bad marriages, terrible relationships, being lied on and talked about, being hurt and angry, etc. God has that under control. Just exercise your faith. God has it all under control.