Friday, 18 March 2016

They love you already.

Theres something so magical about knowing and feeling a baby growing inside of you, your baby.

Over the past five years this has been something that hasn't decreased in wonder even though i'm in my fourth time doing it. Something that amazes me daily is the look of wonder, love and sheer excitement I see in my children's eyes at how they know theirs a new little friend inside Mama's tummy just waiting to come out.

They love on the baby bump, they protect it, sing to it, tell it secrets and its the sweetest thing to see. I love the way they get all giddy when they watch Mamas tummy swing from side to side, or bounce up & down with kicks and punches as if its already interacting with their voices. These are the little things I don't ever want to forget during any pregnancy I have gone through, and i'm pretty sure I never will. When life gets busy and memories tend to fade what with a new set of them being made, I know deep down I will remember these. And with this time potentially being our last, its something I want to soak up all the more.

I do get a little bit emotional sometimes when I can't sit them on my lap as easy without feeling so restricted for space, or be able to squeezey hug & embrace them as powerful as i'd like to at the minute and have to opt for the side cuddle where baby bump is free to move. I feel so out of breath most of the time where i'm still very anaemic, and this baby bump is just literally plonked on my front making it quite hard to do much with comfort really, but thats a small price to pay for the bundle we're soon to be welcoming. People think its bonkers how i've put on just over 2 stone but it has literally gone to my tummy. All baby with lots of water no doubt as everywhere else I haven't put on weight?! crazy.

I have been laid side my side with little P recently and he's felt the baby kicking against him as if to say "Hey, i'm coming soon" to which he giggles at and says "Mummy baby kicking me" then says "its a baby boy" - we'll soon find that one out! He's the one who is at the age where he knows somethings going on but not 100% what, so for him to tell me baby bump is kicking him is adorable in his innocent little voice. The girls just love to feel close to their newest sibling, they love to try and guess what the gender is, ask it "are you a boy or girl"? and hope it spills the beans while they think no one else is listening in, they smother him or her in showers of kisses, inspect my "marvellous treasure map veins" that have turned blue, and listen carefully when I tell them that all those changes mean that Mama is helping to keep the baby safe and for it to grow wonderfully before it comes out.

Don't you just find it so refreshing at how little ones view your body?

I mean, they're so innocent to it all yet they have the best outlook, they have questions but see it as something wonderful. When I look at my tummy from growing four babies I do still have days when I think lots about how it doesn't look the same, I did have moments when I would fear ever showing anyone the blemishes, or the different shape.

What I sometimes see as a huge tummy with prominent veins, funny skin and a misshapen belly button, they tell me in a different format how Mummy's tummy has changed, "wow, it's grown so big", "it's always so warm & soft", "You have clever little lines like a trail or treasure map" etc.

They don't see any of it as imperfections.

They've shown me a new perspective over time, it will never make me forget what my tummy once was but also I never ever want to forget what my tummy has also given me.

This little baby is so lucky to have such caring big siblings already, so in around three weeks time he/ or she will finally be meeting those three excited little souls who cannot wait to actually talk, touch and smell him/ or her face to face, skin to skin and love even more.