Jeff and Amy Clay with daughters Shelby, left and Sarah.

'He was an awesome Dad'

All she can do is share the stories — backed up by photos and home video — of a doting father who made the girls, now 3 and 1, the center of his universe.

"He was an awesome Dad," said Clay, who has resigned herself to the fact that "this is the only life they are ever going to know. ... They are used to being raised by a single mom."

Clay, whose husband was the pilot of Comair Flight 5191, said it has been hard adjusting to her new role, while also struggling to deal with an investigation that blamed the crash on her husband and co-pilot James Polehinke, the only survivor.

During the past year, Clay said she has tried to stay out of the public eye, speaking out only recently to express shock and anger about the National Transportation Safety Board's ruling that pilot error was the cause of the crash.

"They are carrying far more responsibility than they deserve," she said of her husband and Polehinke. "Far more."

She said she's also tried not to read too much about what happened, putting newspaper articles and cards in a box for her girls to go through when they are older.

Instead, Clay said, she tries to stay busy with her job as a public relations consultant. She works out six days a week, something she says has kept her fit and eases her stress. And she spends as much time with her daughters as possible.

"They've lost one amazing parent," she said. "I'm not an amazing parent. But I'm trying."

While she's been invited to the public and private memorials being held to commemorate the anniversary of the crash, Clay said she plans on spending a quiet day with her daughters. She said she knows her presence could upset other victims' relatives, and she doesn't want to cause anyone additional pain.