PE. We’ve got Stevenson (hooray) but as he’s on 3rd Form Camp We’ve got this ‘chink’ taking us. We played football on the hockey pitch with two balls!

Oh dear. Of all of the cringingly embarrassing entries in this diary, this one probably takes the biscuit. Even allowing for the fact that times were somewhat less enlightened then, the use of the term above to describe a person of Chinese origin almost pains me now. If only I had known what my life was to involve later! Mr Wong, on the most miniscule chance that you are reading this, I apologise most sincerely. As I do to everyone else.

As for the games we played, sports teachers throughout my childhood had a habit of doing this. It seemed that if inspiration failed them, they would just stick us on a playing field to play a game and then throw an extra ball or balls into the mix. Sometimes it wasn’t even a ball from that game. Something combining footballs and rugby balls was always very popular, I recall.

In fact, this sort of thing used to just make me angry and disinterested. I felt that games were played a particular way for a reason and there was no need to meddle with that. Moreover, the problem with doing this was that, having cirumvented the rules of the game anyway, the result would be complete anarchy on the pitch with the game degenerating into little more than a kicking contest. I liked sport, I looked forward to my PE lessons, and I didn’t expect this.