Unlike some weight-classes we won’t mention, the UFC featherweight division is currently loaded with dangerous contenders, any of whom could be a serious title threat in the future. At UFC 163 (August 3rd, Rio de Janeiro), divisional ruler Jose Aldo defends his belt against fan-favorite “The Korean Zombie” Chan Sung Jung, and as long as an immediate rematch isn’t booked, there will be a feeding frenzy of 145-pounders trying to make their case as the true #1 contender. So who’s worthiest of the next title shot? Let’s put aside the phony UFC rankings and business-driven matchmaking and break down where each featherweight contender really stands in the pecking order.

Lamas is the obvious frontrunner to be next in line but why is he being overlooked? The fact that Jung got the title shot over Lamas after their UFC 162 bout was canceled raised a few eyebrows in itself. Lamas, who hasn’t lost in over a year and a half, has blazed through his opposition in the UFC including men on this very list, and despite demolishing a highly-regarded prospect in Erik Koch back in January, his immediate future is unknown. Lamas has a devastating striking game — including some flashy and dangerous kicks — which gives him the ability to end a fight at any moment. He also has a quality wrestling pedigree, alongside a brown belt in jiu-jitsu, and his ground and pound is murderous; woe to anyone in the division who finds himself on the bottom of Lamas’s elbows and power strikes.

It’s relatively strange that Lamas was skipped in line for a title shot but maybe the UFC feels Aldo’s competition should come with a familiar face. Jung is no slouch, finishing all three opponents thus far in his UFC career, but Lamas also has an equally impressive track record in the company – undefeated in four bouts with previous stoppages over Cub Swanson, Matt Grice. The aforementioned brutalizing of Erik Koch was a major reason to include him in the mix, as Koch was a highly-touted prospect who was already paving his way to a title shot before he met “The Bully.” With Conor McGregor and Cub Swanson angling for fights with the Chicago-born fighter, his next move is up in the air, but maybe he’ll remain quiet until August 3rd to see how everything pans out.

For reasons that are not yet understandable despite being clearly explained to us, P4P G.O.A.T., multi-division UFC champion, possessor of the arms and the charms, the hefty lefty, the flyin hawaiian, the Juggernaut, bitch, Chael Phinneus Sonnen Esq., recently announced that he will be returning to the middleweight division after he defeats Mauricio “Shogun” Rua at Fight Night: Sonnen vs. Shogun on August 17th.

It’s a goddamn travesty is what it is. As we all know, Sonnen was last “defeated” by light heavyweight “champion” Jon Jones via technical knock out (emphasis on “technical”) at UFC 159 in a fight that he would have undoubtedly won had referee Keith Peterson not been in Jones’ pocket and prematurely stopped the fight. So discouraged by the evident corruption at 205, Sonnen broke the news of his middleweight return on UFC Tonight yesterday:

I’ve moved to Southern California and am training at Reign with Mark Munoz. My new contract, which is a five-fight deal, was finalized today.

I’ll return to middleweight after beating Shogun. There are two guys I want to get matched up with: Vitor Belfort, because he’s awesome and he’s on an incredible roll. And Wanderlei Silva, who I’ve heard is going back to middleweight. The landscape has completely changed. I’ve got a new contract and I’m returning to the weight class.

All knockouts are basically the same — a fighter gets his brain turned off and then gravity takes over. But when you’ve been watching MMA as long as we have, you begin to notice patterns. So here’s a guide to nine notable sub-species of KO, ranging from frighteningly violent to kind of hilarious. Enjoy, and let us know if we’ve left out any of your favorites…

(Boetsch may have won the battle, but the piece of glass Okami left on the mat surely won the war. Photo via Tracy Lee/Yahoo)

The UFC career of Tim Boetsch has seen some incredible highs and just-as-unforgettable lows to say the least. After kick-starting his tenure at light heavyweight with one of the most savage debuts of all time (and a personal favorite fight of mine) at UFC 81: Breaking Point, “The Barbarian” would drop two out of his next three to Matt Hamill and Jason Brilz before being ousted from the promotion. It was a decision that nearly bankrupted Capital One and resulted in the pillage-related deaths of no less than 400 people, but I digress.

Back-to-back losses at the hands of Costa Philippou and Mark Munoz, however, have once again placed “The Barbarian” in hot water. In even worse news, the man Boetsch will have to defeat to likely stay employed will be former Strikeforce middleweight champion Luke Rockhold, as the two have just been booked for UFC 166 on October 19th.

As MMAMania points out, this will be the first time since UFC 134: Silva vs. Okami back in August 2011 that Rogan has been absent from a UFC pay-per-view card. (We can only assume that either Joe Rogan doesn’t like Brazil or Brazil doesn’t like Joe Rogan.) In the past, Kenny Florian has been the go-to guy when the UFC needs a substitute color-man, but it looks like the UFC wants to give this Brian Stann kid a shot and see if he’s got the goods. Will Stann be able to toss in relevant analysis in between Mike Goldberg’s endless plugs for Corn Nuts? And will you be paying to watch this two-fight card in the first place?

Time has a unique way of changing how we live. From communicating with friends to conducting business, from diagnosing illness to differentiating gender — almost every facet of life has changed in the past 50 years. But you don’t need to wait half a century to see change. Eight years ago we didn’t have Twitter, the Harlem Shake, or weight divisions under 155lbs. (including women) in the UFC. With each new staple of life, we’re forced to replace things formerly deemed “must-have.” (Beeper, anyone?) Other things outlive their usefulness only to die a cold, miserable death in the desolate wastelands of obsolescence.

Mixed martial arts is no different. The sport isn’t immune to the ravages of time, nor is it capable of escaping the inevitability of certain aspects becoming passé. For example…

UFC Fighters with Part-Time/Full-Time Jobs

A quick glance in the rear-view mirror and you’ll see just how far we’ve come in the short life of MMA as we know it. Rules, regulation, fighter pay, and health benefits have all improved since the birth of “Ultimate Fighting” in 1993. In the age of DVR and skipped commercials, sports offer advertisers what no one else can — a holy grail overflowing with viewers in real time. Sooner rather than later, companies like Zuffa will be an even more attractive destination for blue chip sponsors and marketing agencies to plug their products.

This influx of cash, combined with political pressure from the outside and dissension from within, will pave the way for a much needed hike in the UFC fighter pay scale, and the death of paltry fight purses. From there on out, all fighters will be able to pay their bills and provide for their families doing what they love and that alone. There is one caveat, though: UFC hopefuls will need to spend every free second fighting or training for fights if they ever hope to be competitive in the Octagon.

If there’s anything we’ve learned about UFC welterweight contender Rory “Mini Rush” MacDonald over the past few years it’s that he loves to fight and he loves to shop. And now thanks to his sponsor, Ecko, you can join him for a little of both!

Cool, right? Well, yeah, but also…kinda strange. We guess it really depends on what you bring to the table.

Because if you, your buddy that you get to bring and Rory, like, totally click, you’ll be sure to have fun during this day of “private” training and shopping with “Ares.” Hell, you guys will probably all stay in touch afterwards and tell inside jokes over Skype once a week while eating popcorn. On the off chance that doesn’t happen, however, it might get a lil’ awkward for some non-athlete to have a private training session with a world class fighter and then, because this is totally something that lots of strangers do together, go clothes shopping together at an Ecko store.

Which brings us to Alek’s latest not-particularly-competitive booking: Fightlinker passes along the announcement that Emelianenko will return at an August 25th ProFC show in Rostov-on-Don, where he’ll face Darrill Schoonover, the Texas-bred heavyweight and TUF 10 castmember who is perhaps known best as…yeah…Titties. (Man, Rampage Jackson is just a master when it comes to personal branding.)

The comic’s premise? Rampage gets superpowers from a meteorite and then goes around fighting crime. Seriously, that’s it. The cage-fighter best known for dry-humping female reporters and tigers is now a superhero. However, one area where Lion Forge, the comic’s publisher, might run into trouble is coming up with storylines. Rampage’s comic will need story arcs and bad guys and other things. Fortunately for them, we at CagePotato have given this some thought.

What have we come up with? Check it out!

Villains:

Dana Wight: An evil business mogul who harbors a terrible secret — he’s a soulless zombie that’s attempting to convert the entire MMA world into his own undead army. Dana Wight uses his billions of dollars to thwart Rampage Jackson’s efforts at improving the world. Wight consistently tries to pay Rampage off but he never realizes one important, in-no-way-false fact: Rampage Jackson is not for sale!

The Crimson Singlet: The Crimson Singlet will be one of Rampage’s worst foes. Rampage’s feud with the Crimson Singlet is fueled by the fact that he and Rampage used to be on the same wrestling team. Rampage abandoned the tenets of wrestling while the Crimson Singlet embraced them. Did Rampage betray the Crimson Singlet or did the Crimson Singlet betray Rampage? The comic book can tackle this complicated, psychological issue. What makes this story more exciting is that the Crimson Singlet is, obviously, a master of Rampage’s weakness — wrestling.