I bought the books
I read them twice
Made a character sheet
And rolled the dice
Met you and your stats
Seemed to suffice
But your character flaws
They shine so bright

C is for Charisma,
But you’ve got none
D is for Dexterity
But you’re all thumbs
I is for Intelligence
Which for you is an issue
W is for Wisdom
If I had some I’d ditch you

This time
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time (this time)
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time
I’m leveling up this time

[chaotic neutral keyboard solo]

I made it through the dungeons
I fought the minibosses
You were the final battle
I should have been more cautious
You had a secret weapon
I never knew
Now that I found out
You know we’re through

I ate the mushrooms
And I’ve grown taller
Got a fire flower
Now I’m a baller
Our relationship became
Too much of a hassle
Looks like my princess is
In another castle

This time
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time (this time)
I’m leveling up this time
Level up this time
I’m leveling up this time

[guitar riff of +2 Stamina]

We’ve made the kill screen
Our game is done
There’s no continue
Nobody won
You want our love
To be repeated
But your savegame’s
Already been deleted

[schizophrenic spoken word solo]

[mind-melting simultaneous keyboard and guitar solo]

Baby baby baby
Oh can’t you see
Our love has taken
An arrow to the knee
I need to get more XP
Gonna find a new guild
To grind with me
Baby baby baby
Oh can’t you see
Our love has taken
An arrow to the knee
I need to get more XP
Gonna find a new guild
To grind with me