Community Updates

Our Goal

OUR GOAL

To provide a unique environment where folks who have experienced trauma can openly and safely talk. We strive to respect, validate, and learn from each other.

ACHIEVING OUR GOAL

Achieving our goal requires cooperative collaboration amongst members and staff. Members posts remain appropriate and relevant to topics. Terms of Service are clearly posted to help members maintain the dignity of the board. Members of this group are at a stage in their healing to independently regulate their own behavior, as well as keeping themselves safe while on the forums. Staff regularly monitor posts and replies to ensure the board remains a safe and comfortable environment of learning for everyone.

As a friendly and kind community, we validate each other as equally special and significant.

These forums are active and the community not too large or too small - about 400 post per day. There are many forums on different topics. The topics range in subject matter also. You are welcome to interact as you feel comfortable.

This is a safe place for members. We encourage building coping skills, learning from each other and material shared. We discourage sharing explicit memories of past abuse. We feel that processing memories be done with professionals. There are no practicing therapists on these forums. Therefore, topics that call for therapist type responses are discouraged.

Feel free to look around. Realize that, as a guest, your view of the forums is minimal. These forums are otherwise private to the public view and/or search engines.

We have literally hundreds of articles and provide workshops for everyone. Please feel free to email me anytime with questions. I am also providing a tutorial that should help with navigating our site.

Girlfriend was diagnosed with DID

Im coming at this with open arms and non judgmental eyes. But I would be lying if I said it didn't scare me abit that within my relationship there are 11 other people watching my every move. This is my first post and I need some help so I can be helpful. I truly am head over heals for this girl and I don't see myself leaving her. Im

DID is a coping mechanism for terrible things, and as long as she gets help from a professional therapist, you can have a life better than any you ever imagined. She is smart and each of those eleven just need reaasurance.

Finding out your partner is DID can be a very scary thing, ask my b/f. I would advise asking a lot of questions and being very open-minded as it sounds like you already trying to do that. Remember they are all still the same person you met and want to be with. Get to know them and treat them as equals and I'm sure in time you will find stuff about each of them that make the body whole. People with DID need a lot of time and understanding. Supporting them can be so very helpful in their healing process. There will be hard times but there are also good times, just the same as any relationship. I say support is the best thing you can do for her and the best thing you can do for yourself is having boundaries, making time for yourself, and knowing that you can still have a wonderful relationship together.

Jason,Asking questions, as Mysticmirror suggested is a good place to start. If your g/f is not in therapy, I would suggest you ask if you can help her find one that specialized in DID. It is a coping mechanism unlike a lot, and the person can find help and healing, but not generally very well on their own. If she's not in therapy, this could be a difficult relationship. Also, realize that those other 11 pairs of eyes watching you, are simply each a part of who she is. If she's willing and am assuming she must be if she disclosed her dx, ask about the different parts and if there are things you should or should not do if that one pops in and makes themself known. Or if something changes, ask her if it is ok for you to ask who you are speaking with. It is hard for us to say how to best support her, other than through encouragement and discovering what she needs. Also, make sure you have some good personal boundaries so you are taking care of yourself, too. If not, you won't be much support to her. Wishing you the best in your relationship, and that it brings sunshine and rainbows into both (all) of your lives!

Thanks for coming on and posting, I think that you are so open to knowing and understanding speaks volumes.

I can only echo what has already been said, it is a coping mechanism, she is the same person you fell in love with.

There are some resources on this sight, one you may find helpful is called The Significant Others Survival Guide by Jeff V. It's not written in 'Tharapanize', it's written by a regular guy like yourself who's g/f was diagnosed with DID.

I guess if I were going to add some words of wisdom it would be that everyone with Dissociative Disorders, we're all different, there are no two of us alike so when you read or look for information know that you may catch glimpses of your g/f in the different descriptions and stories of others, but her experiences are unique to her.

Keep posting, and asking questions, the more you know the easer it is to understand..

no NOT freak out .. my ex would when ever she saw someone she didnt want to see .. it sounds simple right? look for subtle hints, look for her actions ... personally i would say just accept her as she is and dont worry about it, it's not you its her ... yes i understand it can be hard to handle but if everyone inside knows what's going on and someone else wants time to talk just let them ... again do NOT freak out (yes i had problems with ppl doing that to me)