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Penn Badgley took a Thai cooking class, where he said he made a yellow curry with pineapple that he thinks is "very sexy. It reminds me of bikinis and the beach." Meanwhile, Lady Gaga is filming a Gossip Girl episode on the Lower East Side today! Kate Moss's boyfriend had a temper tantrum at Simon Cowell's 50th when a "performer" from the Box stripped down to his banana hammock and started twirling Moss around. Paris Hilton asked to be moved when she was seated next to Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky Stern at Kylie Minogue's Vegas concert. Jeremy Piven bought Baked by Melissa cupcakes for a mystery blonde in Soho.

One reason Obama always fares so well on the basketball court? He always picks players first, and he always picks his "body man" and former Duke basketball player Reggie Love to be on his team. Aussie golfer Greg Norman and his tennis-ace wife, Chris Evert, are calling it quits after just ten months of marriage. Days before the Backstreet Boys were supposed to come back (all right!), Brian Littrell was diagnosed with swine flu, causing them to cancel their Early Show performance. Paula Abdul missed Simon Cowell's birthday party because she claimed to have the flu. The creepy insurance salesman accused of taping ESPN's Erin Matthews likely recorded other women in the buff as well. After 22 years on the catwalk, Claudia Schiffer says she's done with the runway. After seeing Lindsay Lohan's flop of a fashion line in Paris (including rhinestone pasties), WWD thinks it's time for LiLo to "get serious about the acting career." Someone snagged Vogue creative director Grace Coddington's purse from the back of her chauffeured car while she was at Givenchy's Paris show. "Pop Champagne" rapper Jim Jones pleaded guilty to beating up Ne-Yo's friend in the Louis Vuitton store on Fifth Avenue. And even though Bethenny Frankel has her own Housewives spinoff, she's not leaving The Real Housewives of New York.

Someone had a seizure in the middle of Lars von Trier's demonic movie Antichrist at Lincoln Center Friday night. Six-months-pregnant actress Alexandra Wright filed a paternity suit against Beyoncé's father, Matthew Knowles. Nicole Richie was rear-ended by paparazzi in Beverly Hills yesterday. And she showed off a new hairdo. Guns N' Roses is being sued for stealing music for Chinese Democracy from a German electronic-music producer. After Todd English called off his wedding on Saturday night, leaving his bride to hit up the St. Regis reception solo, he headed to the W South Beach and downed Veuve while listening to D.J. Cassidy. Mad Men's Bryan Batt is marrying his boyfriend. Tila Tequila has been tweeting about taking her own life, not because she's "depressed or unhappy" but because "God spoke to me and told me I am needed up there." If God needs anyone, clearly it's Tila Tequila.