After two straight days of Assassin’s Creed IV I’m starting to lose my grip on reality a little. My initial high from the game is about over and I’ve mastered almost all of the mechanics. Hunted a couple bull sharks and almost lost my lunch. You know how PETA complains when any animal is injured in any game ever? They’ve kind of got a point here. You harpoon a shark (or whale, which I haven’t seen) and let it tow your rowboat while you throw more harpoons into its back. When it’s dead you lift its bloody carcass onto your ship and get one piece of its leather. I’m not sure why this feels different than all the land hunting I’ve done in Far Cry 3, but it’s disgusting. Ick.

For once I’m glad Assassin’s Creed games are packed full of activities, because I never want to leave this universe. I’ve tinkered with the fleet minigame, which is a nice slow change of pace. Unlocked the mortars which, holy cow, such a game changer for multiple opponent combat. Discovered the trick where you can board any ship in the middle of combat and use it to repair your health before continuing (how is that not cheating?).

In the distant haze of my mind I remember playing some Forza 5, Dead Rising 3, and Battlefield. They all blur together, where I’m a race car driver plowing through swarms of undead while being chased by a helicopter.

Doesn’t matter. They have nothing to do with pirate ships, so I’m not playing them.