Almost. Suri has one of the most highly anticipated technological toys of the year, that adults were lining up to buy on the morning of its release after a month of forgoing take-out, drinking, and heating so they could afford it. And she’s 4. Meanwhile, I’m about to go throw myself on the mercy of a car dealership so I can get a POS automobile to drive myself to work for 45 hours a week so Sallie Mae doesn’t take back my useless degree and throw me into Gitmo for not re-paying my student loans. Plus pay for my coke habit.