Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH THE REMAINDERS

UPDATE

Just checking in here. The entire band -- 352 people, at last count -- woke up before dawn to perform on Good Morning America. We had a fine time; I don't know about the audience (if there was one). The highlight was when James McBride referred to Greg Iles, twice, as "Gary," then explained himself by pointing out that he is the only African-American in the band, and we all look the same to him.

May 30, 2007

UPDATE

This blog has arrived in New York City (or, as the locals call it, "Frisco"). There are a LOT of people here. Most likely they have gathered for the Rock Bottom Remainders concert, which is garnering massive publicity.

ADVISORY

Today this blog will be heading to New York City for the world-famous Rock Bottom Remainders Still Younger Than Keith one-city tour, which will occur Friday night at Webster Hall. Already the tour is getting a huge amount of publicity in the form of this blog entry. We will appear tomorrow on "Good Morning America," our goal being to answer the age-old question: "Is there any reason why a group of older authors with very limited musical talent can't still rock the house?" (The answer is: "Yes.")

But the point is, this blog will be on the road through the weekend, and so will judi, who will be in New York passed out helping with band logistics. So there will be nobody reading the email to the blog. So if you send something in and nothing happens, that's why.

THIS BLOG IS HUGE

JUST WHAT WE NEED!

Yesterday this blog's daughter, Sophie, came home from school with a live praying mantis. It was in a baby-food jar with some dirt and leaves, and holes punched in the lid. All the kids got them from the science teacher (Thanks, Science Teacher!) who told them they should feed their mantises fruit flies. Sophie named her mantis "Preci," which is short for "Preciosa," because what else are you going to name a creature that looks like this?So we spent the evening trying to find fruit flies for Preci. Here in South Florida, it is usually very easy to find insect life. Just examine your leg, or look in your food, and there will almost always be some kind of bug crawling around. But of course last night there were no insects anywhere, and Sophie was worried that Preci would starve to death. So I went outside and took down a light-fixture covering, which was filled with dead bugs, which we gave to Preci, who responded with a look of heartfelt mantis gratitude:

24 ADVISORY

As some of you may recall, last year, when the 24 season ended on TV, it continued on this blog, thanks to the clinically insane awe-inspiring efforts of The Amazing Steve, who each Monday night continued to present a detailed summary of the ongoing plot of the show, which was going on only in his mind. Steve has advised this blog that he plans to continue that tradition this year, so tonight at 9 Eastern Central Mountain Pacific Daylight Perimeter Time we will present a brief summary of the situation, followed, in the comments, by The Amazing Steve. Feel free to join us.

MEMORIAL DAY

Last night my family and I were at a barbecue at the home of friends. One of the other guests was a man in his 80s; one of his children mentioned that he'd been in the Battle of the Bulge. I asked him about it, and, with prodding, he talked about it, a little. Like most guys of his amazing generation, he was resolutely modest. He was a machine gunner in the heart of the bloodiest battle of World War II, and what he had to say about it was this: "I was lucky."

Not every soldier was, of course. That's the real reason why we have Memorial Day. We need to remember that, and tell our kids.

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

May 24, 2007

WHY WE LOVE GUYS, REASON 2,038

(Thanks to Doug Messer)ADVISORY: You should not watch this if you are easily offended, or if you are a young woman of the female gender who believes that, inside the crude exteriors of men of the male gender, there is goodness and, yes, sensitivity.