Rock Bottom Is Far Away From Here (For Mai)

Below is the poem entitled Rock Bottom Is Far Away From Here (For Mai) which was written by poet
Kristen
Varwig. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

Rock Bottom Is Far Away From Here (For Mai)

I don't know why I feel so hollow.
I do the inventory, and all the parts are there.
My heart still beats, my lungs fill, my blood still makes its rounds.
And yet, I just feel empty, eviscerated,
A shell of something almost human.
I prick a finger, and the pain is still sharp;
My head aches, and my teeth from where I've ground them.
There's nothing below the surface, though
No pain, no feeling, nothing but and echo;
A scream reverberating endlessly,
A sound I don't remember making.
My knees are feeling weak; my hands are numb.
It's strange to be nothing but the physical,
Incapable, yet functional. I can still make tea,
Write a letter, sing a love song or lament
But, I can neither enjoy nor despise it.
It's all just incidental; the machine keeps humming,
But there's nothing fundamental.
The boundaries have all been crossed,
Yesterday, when you just stopped,
Leaving nothing but memories
That are already half-forgotten,
And an apple on your desk
That I intend to leave until it rots.
The sun rose today; I burned my fingers with a cigarette;
Fragile things toppled, hit the ground, and shattered,
And, come tomorrow, the exact same things will happen.
The world keeps turning, as though it hasn't lost its axis,
And I still feel nothing, but the echoes of your absence.