Father John A. Hardon, S.J. Archives

Family

How the Catholic Family Will Survive for the Third Millennium

by Fr. John A. Hardon, S.J.

At a former national FFA Congress Fr. Hardon startled some by stating that
the only Catholic families which would survive were those in which the parents
were willing to suffer martyrdom. He agreed to tell us more on how they will
survive as we approach the year 2000.

Fatima Family Messenger
January-March 1992, pp. 31-33

The Catholic family in super-developed countries like the United States is
on trial for its existence. This is not my personal opinion but the measured
judgment of the Vicars of Christ. One modern pope after another keeps warning
the faithful about the deadly struggle going on in the world today, between
Christ, the Light of the world, and Satan, the prince of darkness, andthe main focus of this struggle is the FAMILY.

Where the Christian family  the Catholic Christian Family  is strong, the
Catholic Church is strong.

Where the family is weak, the Church is weak.

Where the family is struggling for survival, the Church is struggling for survival.

Where the Catholic family is dying, the Catholic Church in those cultures and
countries is dying.

And once the Catholic family, as instituted by Christ disappears, the Church
of Jesus Christ has been removed from that nation or people.

My plan for this article is to cover the following areas:

What are the signs of disintegration of the family in Western society?

Why is the strength of the CATHOLIC family necessary for the restoration
of family life?

How the Catholic family will not only survive but thrive for the Third Millennium?

Signs of Disintegration

The signs of disintegration of once-flourishing family life in the Western
world are so clear that only the willfully blind can fail to see them. The divorce
rate in countries like the United States is astronomical. The birth rate is
below survival level, with zero and less than zero population ratios becoming
commonplace. Millions of couples are simply co-habitating, without exchanging
marriage vows. Contraception has been reduced to an exact science, and infidelity
has become a fine art. Fornication is no longer considered a sin, and sexual
love-making in courtship is minutely described in sex-education programs indoctrinating
millions of children and young people in our schools.

Homosexuality, condemned by St. Paul in Sacred Scripture as excluding its practitioners
from the Kingdom of heaven, is becoming a world plague. Sodom and sodomy are
being defended not only by society but by legislators, psychologists, and, may
God forgive them  by some theologians who dare to call themselves Christian.

Abortion as the deliberate murder of unborn human beings is not only legalized
but we may say legislated and now those who oppose this murder of the innocents
are prosecuted, imprisoned, and treated like enemies of society.

So the litany of the disintegration of family life goes on, until, after the
recitation of each of these crimes, we can only pray, Lord, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us.

Why Catholic Families Are Necessary

In the face of such massive breakdown of the family, is there any sanity left
anywhere? What began as a plague in Western countries has now penetrated into
Asia, Africa and Australia.

Does anyone, anywhere still believe that the family is not out of date; that
a lifetime marriage commitment is still desirable; that a loving community of
father, mother, and children is not a starry ideal in fairy books but a reality
on which alone human society can exist?

Does anyone still believe this? Yes, and behind this yes is the principal
message I wish to share with you.

Family life, truly authentic, stable family life is still believed in by the
Catholic Church.

Let me be clearer. It is still professed by those who believe that the Catholic
Church was founded by Jesus Christ, who said that if a man puts away his wife
and marries another, he commits adultery, and if a woman puts away her husband
and marries another, she commits adultery.

It is still professed that the Catholic Church was founded by Christ, who said,
Let the children come unto me and who told us to become like little children,
for of such is the Kingdom of heaven.

Family life is still believed by those who recognize the Bishop of Rome as
the Vicar of Christ, by those who accept Humanae Vitae as the unchangeable
and infallible teaching of Christ.

Family life is still believed by those who hold that anyone who commits adultery,
or fornication, or sodomy, must either repent and beg for divine mercy or face
from God the terrible prospect of separation from God for all eternity.

Family life is still believed by those who know that Jesus Christ is alive
and present, in the Holy Eucharist; that through the Mass, and Holy Communion
and the Blessed Sacrament He is giving us the grace to remain chaste before
marriage, practice chastity and charity, without which family life is only a
starry dream.

We repeat our question: Does anyone still believe that family life is not only
possible but necessary if the human family is going to survive? Yes, the Catholic
Church believes this. But I would add this. Those really belong to the Catholic
Church who stand on the four pillars on which the Church is founded, namely:

the divinity of Jesus Christ, the Churchs Founder, who is the lawgiver and
judge of the human race.

the will of God the Creator, to make human families, as a reflection of the
uncreated Family of the Holy Trinity.

the supreme authority on earth in faith and morality, of the Bishop of Rome.

the existence on earth of Jesus Christ in the triple sacrament of the Holy
Eucharist as Mass, Communion and Real Presence  giving us the grace to do the
humanly impossible by the practice of Christian chastity and charity.

Survival of the Family Depends on the Catholic Response

But we press the question: Why is the strength of the Catholic family necessary
for the restoration of family life throughout the world?

Why? Because the survival of the family throughout the world depends on strong
Catholic families.

We are entering on a new era in human history. The world is fast becoming a
global village. There is a new social consciousness, such as history has never
known before. Catholic families are being called by God to evangelize the rest
of mankind. They have a new vocation in the modern world: to proclaim the Gospel
of the Christian family to the teeming millions who need their witness and inspiration.

I make bold to say that the family, as family, will survive only where strong
Christian families, as families, are proclaiming their faith to an unbelieving
world.

Do you know what was the main reason for the miraculous conversion of the pagan
world in the first centuries after the resurrection of Christ? It was the heroic
witness of Christian families, whose lives of chastity and charity melted the
hearts of their persecutors. Yes, but the price those Christian families had
to pay was the price of martyrdom. It was the living martyrdom of oppression
by a Christ-less state, and the bloody martyrdom of death by fire or sword or
the teeth of wild beasts.

There is a story in the Confessions of St. Augustine where he relates
what heroism his mother, Monica, practiced in living with her pagan husband,
Patricius. Patricius was often unfaithful to Monica. He was given to outbursts
of furious anger against his Christian wife. But, says Augustine, she kept forgiving
his infidelity, and patiently enduring his verbal cruelty. Why? So that she
might convert him, and her son, to Christianity. She succeeded admirably. And
for over 1,500 years the world has been nourished on the wisdom of St. Augustine,
as a result we may say by the heroism of his mother, St. Monica.

How the Catholic Family Will Not only Survive but Thrive for the Third Millennium

We have so far asked two questions, What? and Why?

What are the signs of disintegration of the family in Western society, and
why is a strong Catholic family necessary for the restoration of family life?

We now come to our third, and last question, How?

How, we ask, is the Catholic family to remain strong, seeing that family life
in the whole world depends on the strength and stability of Catholic families?
My answer is: the Catholic family will not only survive but thrive for the third
millennium by Catholic parents living up to their rights and responsibilities
in the religious education of their children.

Let me repeat. The Catholic family will not only survive
but thrive for the Third Millennium on one condition, that Catholic parents
live up to the rights and responsibilities in the religious education of their
children.

The Rights of Parents

As we approach the subject of the rights of parents in the religious upbringing
of their children, the first thing we must do is spell what these rights are.
Stated in one sentence, parents have the right to give their offspring a share
in their own life of the spirit, corresponding to the share they have given
the children in their life of the body. Or, in more concrete terms, parents
have the right to communicate their own religious beliefs and practices to the
sons and daughters to whom they have already communicated their physical existence
as human beings.

These two rights go together. No less than a married couple have the natural
right to beget children for this world, so a married couple have the right to
beget children for the world to come.

From Whom Do these Rights Come?

From whom do these rights come? This is no idle question. Why not?

Because in one country after another, and not only behind what we used to
call the Iron Curtain, the government is claiming more and more monopoly in
the education of children.

Because even in Catholic circles, powerful vested interests are telling parents
they are incompetent to train their own children. Borrowing the philosophy of
the secular state, a growing number of Catholic educators with professional
degrees are usurping the rights of parents as educators.

We return to our question: From whom then do parental rights in education,
and especially religious education not derive?

They do not derive from the state or from civil society.

They do not, surprisingly, derive even from the Church. Rather the Church
keeps telling parents they before everyone else on earth, have the primary
right to provide for the religious upbringing of the children whom they have
generated.

By now we are ready to affirm that the rights of father and mother to give
their offspring adequate and, as far as possible, accurate religious education
come from God.

Why Rights from God?

Why so? Because it was God who created the human soul and infused it into the
body prepared by the mother and father. Because God makes each immortal soul
out of nothing and unites it with a body to product a human person. This person
is to serve God on earth, for which training is required from the moment of
birth. Some would say that moral training begins already in the womb! A good
training from infancy prepares a child to serve God faithfully here on earth
as the precondition for possessing and enjoying God in a blessed eternity.

Parents Responsibilities

Parallel with the parents rights are their responsibilities. The same God
who gave them the privilege of bringing children into the world places on them
the obligation to nurture the lives they have freely brought into the world.
And the duty of religious nurturing is no less, in fact it is more grave,
then the duty of providing bodily food and care.

Why is this such a grave responsibility? Because the supernatural life we receive
at Baptism must be nurtured and nourished from infancy no less than the natural
life of the body. And the parents are the ones who, before God, are the first
in time; the first in dignity; the first in priority  to preserve and sustain
and develop the new life of God which their children received in the sacrament
of regeneration.

Although it may sound strange, I think it is worth stressing that the parents
should cooperate with one another, father with mother, and not mother alone,
and less still mother in one direction and father in another direction.

The cooperative responsibility between father and mother in the spiritual care
of their children presumes that the parents are mutually in love. You do not
cooperate with someone you do not love.

This cooperation also presumes mutual understanding of their respective roles
in the religious and moral rearing of the child. Behind such understanding is
their mutual sharing of the same Catholic faith; a faith kept alive by daily
prayer; a faith nourished by frequent Holy Communion; a faith kept strong by
the frequent reception of the sacrament of penance; a faith that is constantly
deepened by learning through reading and listening to sound Catholic teaching.