Punahou School: Admissions Process for Kindergarten

Monday, June 11, 2012

INTRODUCTION

I
am one of 450 parents out of 600 whose child got rejected at Punahou
for Kindergarten, so my experience is only with their Admissions
process. Applying to Hawaii’s private schools is a stressful time for
parents, especially for first-timers like myself. There is little
information on the admissions and selection process, especially to the
larger, more prestigious private schools in Honolulu like Punahou. I
searched online for stories of parents’ experiences with applying to
Punahou, but came up empty-handed.

I’ve
decided to share my experience about the Punahou Admissions process for
Kindergarten to help parents like myself who are new to all of this. I
hope this blog can help you make an informed decision regarding your
child's education.

Be
forewarned this is my experience alone; other people might have a
completely different story. I don't plan on my child attending this
school, so I am not afraid of incurring the school's wrath for this
blog. The reason I'm not disclosing my identity is to protect the
privacy of my child. If
there are others out there willing to share their stories of rejection
at Punahou, please let me know and I will post them. Your posts will be
anonymous unless you prefer to use a pseudonym of your choice, but no
real names, please.

For
those of you whose children got into Punahou, this blog is not for you.
However, if you got any feedback from the Punahou admissions on how or
why your child got it, I might be interested in hearing your story, as
it can give us more insight on what the school is looking for in an
applicant.

Parents,
if you happen to know friends who applied to Punahou, talk to them. The
more information you get, the easier it will be to determine if Punahou
is the right fit for your child. Everybody wants to apply to Punahou
because it represents money, power, status and has some of the finest
facilities in Hawaii, even better than some colleges. But it is
important NOT to let your ego and the "Punahou Image" get in the way of making the best decision for your child.

Most
people don’t want to admit their child failed to get into Punahou, and I
understand completely. It still hurts to see how brutally my child was
assessed, but the goal of this blog is to spare you from the same
disappointment. Once you have an idea of what this school is looking
for, then perhaps it will make your decision easier. Had I known what I
know now back when I was checking out schools, I would have never
applied to Punahou. I could have saved myself $125.00 and a lot of time,
stress and disappointment.

If
you don't have time to read my entire blog (it is lengthy), then scroll
down to the section "What Punahou Wants From Kindergartners" or visit
my shorter blog at http://punahoupuns2.blogspot.com.

ABOUT MY CHILD

My child is very bright. He started drawing at age 16 months, holding the marker correctly, indicating advanced motor skills. He
was pre-writing around 20 months and already knew the alphabet, his
shapes (like decagon and parallelogram) and all his colors. He was
reading single words by age 2 1/2 years and books soon thereafter. He
had been attending pre-school since he was 20 months old, and possessed
an advanced vocabulary. Sounds like a good candidate for Punahou,
right?

Wrong.

My
son was diagnosed as mildly autistic. He was speech-delayed and at age 3
years, 9 months, could only speak one or two-word phrases at the most.
He went through the HKISS program until he aged out at 3 years, then
attended a Special Education Pre-school through the Department of
Education, along with his regular pre-school part-time. He
has trouble staying at circle time without wandering off. He forgets to
raise his hand and blurts out answers. He won't listen to instructions
at times. He has pushed, bit, and hit kids on occasion. He is socially
immature (about one year behind) and doesn't interact with children his
own age, preferring much younger or much older children. Often he can't
follow the conversation of other children; he responds with something
totally unrelated. At times he has trouble focusing on tasks or
conversations, unless he is extremely interested in what's being said or
done. Otherwise he needs to be reminded to finish his work. Does this
sound like your child?

For
being such a large, wealthy school, Punahou does not accommodate
children who are mildly autistic. Why I know is because I asked the
Assessor who reviewed my son's test results with us after he got
rejected. "Do you have students who are mildly autistic at Punahou?" I
asked. Her response: "I don't know. I've never heard of any."

Lesson learned. Parents,
if your child has a condition such as mild autism or Aspergers or has a
learning disability or socialization problems, I would think twice
about applying to Punahou. Problems mentioned in your child's IEPs or
report cards will pop
up during his/her assessments. They will be noticed by the Punahou
assessors and count against your child. This happened with my son.

WHAT PUNAHOU WANTS FROM KINDERGARTNERS

I am not an expert at what this school wants in an applicant. I gleaned most of the information at
my post-rejection conference. Each rejected applicant is invited to
discuss his/her test results with one of the Assessors, and it is here
when you do get an idea what this school wants. Their standards are
extremely high and rigid. The
impression I got is that they want Superkids with no social problems or
learning disabilities. For Kindergarten entry, your child has to score
in the 90-95 percentile in the individual assessment, and we're talking
about 4 1/2 year-old kids here. This means your child better be going to
a good pre-school with a small student-teacher ratio that actually
teaches a variety of subjects, and not one of those inexpensive
pre-schools that are nothing more than glorified baby-sitting services.

In
my opinion, Admissions should be more upfront in what they are looking
for in a Kindergarten applicant. I didn't learn until we got rejected
that for the individual assessment, Punahou looks for 90-95 percentile
in: Verbal, Nonverbal (reasoning using nonverbal means to make predictions and solve problems), Spatial (visual perception & motor coordination), Memory (visual & auditory) and Quantitative (number
concepts such as simple counting and word problems). For Memory, your
child is told something, then asked about it later; they are tested to
recall things; how well they remember, much like reading comprehension.

Punahou's
website states they look for "above-average academic potential as
indicated by individual cognitive tests administered by the school's
assessment specialists", but 90-95% is way more than
"above-average." Teacher recommendations have to be stellar, and reports
cards very strong. Your child has to show maturity, independence,
self-discipline, perfect behavior, and be able to follow directions
during his/her individual assessment. For group assessment, your child
needs all the aforementioned traits plus be able to positively interact
with other children and be able to participate appropriately during
circle time or activities.

Your child cannot have
a bad day for either assessment. Since Punahou has so many children to
assess, even the smallest mistake or undesirable trait could eliminate
your child. In my opinion, Punahou looks for reasons to eliminate
applicants unlike other private schools; they are very black and white
in their approach, so there's no room for error. Even if your child scores in the 90-95 percentile, he or she may have other flaws that knocks them out of contention.

To
add to the pressure, Punahou also assesses, you, the parent, the moment
you walk through the doors of Wilcox Hall. I suggest you dress as if
you are going to a job interview.

Before you submit an application for your child, ask yourself these questions:

Is
my 4 year-old child poised and mature for his/her age? Do they feel
comfortable in the presence of a stranger (i.e.--Assessor)? Can they
quickly adapt to new surroundings?

Can
she go into a room with a stranger without crying, running out,
throwing a tantrum or being afraid? Can he answer questions posed by
this stranger?

Your
child's report cards or IEPs and conferences with teachers should be a
clear indicator of your child's abilities. My mistake is I didn't focus
enough on my child's weaknesses, nor did I realize that ASD children do
not perform well with traditional cognitive tests. Naively I thought his
strong academics would carry him through the assessments. For Punahou,
your child has to be strong in EVERYTHING.

On
Punahou's website under Admission Testing: Kindergarten: "Above-average
academic potential as indicated by individual cognitive tests
administered by the school's assessment specialists; a satisfactory
group observation report by primary grade faculty members; a commendable
report from the applicant's current school; and progress report or
report card, if available."

Under
Admission Decisions: "Student selection is based on academic and
non-academic considerations. Admission criteria include scholastic
performance, test scores, and reports of demonstrated talents and
interests. Characteristics, such as initiative, independence, responsibility, self-discipline and creativity are desirable traits...Faculty and administration share the responsibility for student selection." (Italic mine).

Punahou
accepts only 150 applicants for Kindergarten, 75 boys and 75 girls.
However, your chances might not be that great because, according to an
article from the Honolulu Star-Bulletin dated 11/17/2000, a certain
number of slots are reserved for "Priority Acceptances", according to
Curtis Hagen, the former Director of Admissions. Here is the excerpt:

"From
the admissions director's point of view, there are no unimportant
questions. Call us, don't rely on word of mouth," said Curtis Hagen,
admissions director of Punahou School...Of the 150 kindergarten students admitted each year, about 70 are priority acceptances, he said." (Bolding mine.)

Back
in 2000, this meant that approximately 70 spaces were already filled,
leaving only 80 slots to contend for (40 boys and 40 girls). The amount
of openings at Punahou might be smaller for applicants without
connections than the advertised 150 slots, because of "Priority
Acceptances." For the full article: http://archives.starbulletin.com/2000/11/17/news/story2.

STARTING THE APPLICATION PROCESS

Punahou
has an online application that is easy and straightforward. You will
need to create an account, then you are set to go. You can edit and save
until you are ready to submit. I would suggest you print out a draft
and review it before submitting, because once submitted, you can't
correct any errors. For my application, "2 1/2 years" printed with some
garbage text between the whole number and the fraction, so I had to
submit a hard copy to the Admissions office with corrections. I don't
know if this was caused by MS Word, since I typed a portion of the
application there and then cut & paste, or if it was the error
of the school's website. To avoid this, print a draft first from
Punahou's website to make sure all your characters print out correctly.

It
is very important your application has no typos or grammatical errors.
Punahou's first impression of you and your child will be this
application, so take your time and fill it out carefully. Be sure to
include a clear photo of your child.

It
will cost you $125.00 to apply, which is not cheap. Payment can be made
by credit card online. For more detailed information about the
application and required documents, please visit Punahou's website at www.punahou.org. You will receive a confirmation letter and a set of labels to affix to teacher references and report cards.

Punahou
tests its applicants early. The application deadline is mid October and
they start testing in October through March. Our son was tested in
mid-December. I was told by Admissions that they test children "at a
certain age." My son was 4 years, 8 months. However, I don't know the
exact minimum age.

TEACHER REFERENCES

I
won't go into detail, other than when my son's Special Ed teacher found
out we were applying to Punahou, she looked surprised. That should have
been my first indication that my son was not Punahou material, but I
was a complete newbie at this private school business. Like every
parent, I wanted the best for my child. Friends had encouraged me to
apply at this school because my son was so advanced academically.

THE INDIVIDUAL ASSESSMENT

My
son's assessment was in December. The director at my son's private
pre-school gave tips to all the parents of Kindergartners. She said it
was very important to make a good first impression; that the school was
assessing you the moment you and your child walked through the door.
Most importantly, make sure your child got enough rest and ate a good
breakfast. I wore a business suit and outfitted my son in his best aloha
shirt and dress pants. We were instructed to go to Wilcox Hall in the
Omidyar Neighborhood, a new complex built by Mr. eBay himself. It was
very impressive. Wilcox Hall is a large, spacious building with a
soothing gray and white interior.

Warning:
the acoustics in this building are superb, and every word or whisper
you say can be heard in the waiting area. Be careful what you say
because it could get back to the Admissions staff. Keep conversation to a
minimum.

Wilcox Hall

Interior, Wilcox Hall
Assessment Rooms are on the right.

Ever
have something not go right, and try as you might, it just snowballs
into more until you are left with one gigantic disaster? This happened
to us during the individual assessment.

I
was extremely nervous, not only for my son, but for myself. I wanted so
badly to make a good impression, and that sort of thinking was my
downfall, because then I try too hard. We sat in the pictured waiting
area at the end of the hallway. Another family waited in the area near
the receptionist's desk. My son starting drawing pictures with the
crayons and paper the school provided. He created one drawing for his
Assessor, even addressing to her. There were some children's books, so I
got one out and had my son read it aloud. Part of me did this to relax
my son and keep him occupied. And a small, yet more devious part of me
had him read in order to freak out the parents of the other applicant.
Once they heard my son reading aloud, immediately they had their kid
reading aloud. The battle had begun, and I was feeling pretty good about
myself and my son. Being a former competitive ballroom dancer had
taught me ways of subtle and not-so-subtle one-upmanship. In other
words, psych out the opponent.

Don't
do this. It will come back to bite you in the behind. To quote the
Bible, "pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a
fall."

My
son gave his Assessor her drawing he made for her, and followed her
into her small office, where his testing would be conducted behind
closed doors. All was well.

Until–

Waiting Area for Parents

Five
minutes later, my son flew out this door and told me he wanted to go
home. In an instant I knew my son's chances of getting into this school
was over. I was ready to give up and go home, but I'd been raise to
finish something I started, and my son would be raised to do the same.
With a sinking heart, I told him he had to stay and finish his test. He
then fell to the ground, whining, saying he wanted to go to Punahou.
"But you are at Punahou, and you need to finish talking to Miss X." He
rolled around the floor a couple more minutes before I managed to pull
him up. I was utterly humiliated. Remember my little one-upmanship stunt
with the other family? Well, this was my payback. They witnessed the
whole thing and probably felt great because there would be absolutely no
competition from my son.

We
sat on this couch, calmly talking my son into going back in. Finally he
stuck out his tongue at us, gave us a raspberry and marched back in. So
much for a good impression with the Assessor. After he went back in, I
had my own quiet little meltdown. Upset and extremely disappointed,
I whispered to my husband I wanted to leave already; I felt it
pointless to continue. He told me to stay put; that it wouldn't look
good if I left. He was right, so I stayed put and tried to calm down.

Later
my husband told me everybody heard me even though I spoke in whispers.
(He's an architect and recognized the great acoustics in that
building.) Lesson learned, but too late. Parents,
if something goes wrong, KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS INSIDE. STAY CALM. Don't
let the Admissions staff see OR hear that you're upset. Watch what you
say.

Could
anything get worse? I could hear my son responding to the Assessor's
questions though I couldn't hear what he was saying. Trying to turn a
negative into a positive, I told myself that at least he went back in on
his own accord and finished the assessment. But the damage had been
done.

The waiting couch near the Assessment Room

If my son's actions wasn't enough, I had to inflict more "damage" when being interviewed by the Director of Admissions.When I checked Punahou's website, there was a lovely photo of the Director of Admissions, revealing an attractive, smiling woman in bright yellow. She looks like an approachable person, I thought. But when I met her in person, I realized the photo had been taken about 30 years ago. She was definitely more mature and austere in appearance; a very formidable person indeed.

Our meeting with herdid not go well. I felt like I had been summoned to the principal's office for some infraction. She
was formal and aloof with us from the get-go, and I got the distinct
impression she didn't like us. I'm sure she overheard my son's little
meltdown, which didn't help matters. With my luck, she probably overhead
mine as well, even though I spoke in whispers.I was very uncomfortable in her presence, but I tried my best to establish a good rapport. I got the strong feeling that she was wondering why we had applied to Punahou in the first place. In other words, our son didn't belong at Punahou and neither did we. She asked us if we had any questions. We asked her about the Punahou Carnival and the volunteer opportunities for parents.Parents:
I would suggest you come up with 1-2 questions to show you've done your
homework with this school. It will make a better impression than not
having any questions at all.

Then
I committed a minor faux pas, which, in Punahouland, turns into
something Major. The Director mentioned something about our son's group
assessment and I asked when that would be, since we hadn't been informed
of the date. She gasped. "Oh no, that's not true! We did inform you of
the date. If you got your individual assessment date, you got the group
one as well. It was in the letter we sent you." I only remembered a
letter instructing us to Wilcox Hall for the individual assessment, but
not the letter with both assessment dates. So I told her we never got
the earlier letter. "Oh no, that's not possible! We sent a letter out to
every parent. You did receive yours," she insisted. Feeling foolish, I
meekly stated we must have forgotten the date and apologized.

The
Director invited us to go on a tour of the school with the other couple
who witnessed my son's meltdown. I was too embarrassed to face them,
plus I wanted to be nearby my son in case he flew out the door again.
We politely turned her down, which was another faux pas. She said we
could go on one of the student tours during the group assessment. We
nodded and agreed, stating we would be sure to sign up for one.
After the interview, the Director asked us once again to go on the tour
of the school and I said, "No, we want to be near our son in case he
needs us."

Big mistake! Punahou expects its Kindergartners to be independent. Given that she asked us twice to go on a tour of the school, I should have realized that we should have accepted her invitation. Another strike to add to our growing list of infractions. Parents: when the Director of Admissions invites you to take a tour of the school with her, GO. Do not turn her down.

I
tried to go into damage control. The Director seemed so offended we
didn't remember the group assessment date (or the letter), so I was
determined to get another copy of the letter she spoke of. After our
interview, I went up to the receptionist and requested that
another copy be sent to us, since I thought our first copy had been
lost in the mail. Before entering the Assessor's office, the Director of
Admissions saw me with the receptionist and glared at me. Talk about a look that could freeze a lava flow! I don't know how much of my conversation with the receptionist that she heard, but she was NOT pleased. We were TOAST.

Later
I found the letter in a stack of overdue mail the post office had lost
when we held our mail service during a long trip to the Mainland.
Murphy's Law was having a field day with us.

Reception Desk

I
felt awful. Seemingly innocent remarks and actions were construed as
offensive. I had tried so hard to make a good impression, but nerves and
my son's unpredictable behavior rendered me unable to do things right
in Punahouland. The whole experience left me depressed for several days. We never did get our bearings during this assessment. Acceptance to Punahou was not in the cards for my little boy. We were doomed from the start.

THE GROUP ASSESSMENT

I
seriously considered not having my son go through this after our
disastrous individual assessment. I felt my son's meltdown pretty much
eliminated his chances, but since we had gone this far, it was best to
see the process through its entirety, especially after paying $125.00.
There was a small glimmer of hope that in spite of the meltdown, my son
might have done really well in his assessment, so I didn't want to give
up.

We
dressed him in a an off-white T-shirt and blue shorts. I later learned
he was wearing Punahou colors. This was an honest-to-God coincidence; at
this point I was not going to resort to subliminal tricks to score more
points with the teachers or psych out opponents. I already learned my
lesson.

Omidyar Building for Kindergarten and First Grade

The Cafeteria where Applicants and Parents gathered

We
were among the first to arrive at the cafeteria in Omidyar Building.
Some high school students greeted us and we picked up our son's name
tag. The tables had paper and markers for coloring, so we sat down and
created Valentines, since it was February. What I didn't expect is how a
lot of the parents were sizing each other up, mentally comparing their
child to others. We ran into a couple of children from my son's
pre-school, so it was nice to see familiar faces, but everybody pretty
much kept their distance. The Punahou alumni gathered in one area. You
could tell those guys a mile off--they all wore expensive Aloha shirts
and dress pants. They stood around in a small semicircle, surveying the
crowd, talking amongst themselves. Maybe these douche bags fancied
themselves as the Alpha Parents who knew their advantage as Alumni, but I
was not intimidated. Then again, I hadn't been above resorting to
intimidation tactics to psyche out my opponents, so I can't be too hard
on these guys. Not all children of alumni get accepted into Punahou, so
imagine how they feel when their kids gets rejected by their alma mater?

The
children were divided into groups specified on their name tags. We
joined our group and went to the classroom where our child would be
assessed. To my delight, my son went right in, and the teacher greeted
him by name. He talked excitedly to her while she smiled and listened.
This was encouraging, as there were some children who were afraid to go
in. One little girl was crying. I was relieved that it wasn't my son,
but I felt sorry for the girl's parents, who were trying to coax her
into the classroom. Been there, done that.

The
parents were taken into a classroom and for a presentation by the
Director of Admissions. She seemed a lot warmer and more approachable
this time when she addressed the parents. We viewed a brief video on the
school, followed by a Q & A. She spoke about some students
being required to take summer school if they were having problems with
socialization. At this, my ears perked up and I thought that perhaps
this school does consider students like my son. That gave me hope.

She
explained a lot of important information, such as how their Wait Pool
works, how many slots available (75 for girls and 75 for boys for a
total of 150). Although being accepted to the Wait Pool doesn't
guarantee your child will get in for Kindergarten, what it does is
allows you to re-apply for Grades 1 – 5 when openings become available.
We were told how many applied and she was honest about the odds of
getting accepted. I believe 300+ boys applied, substantially more than
girls; at the time it was over 500 in all, but during our post-rejection
conference, the number had increased to 600.

We
were assigned a student tour guide to give us a tour of the school. As I
left, the Director complimented me on the pin I wore on my jacket. I
was very happy to leave on a good note with her.

SIDEBAR: One
couple brought their toddler with them and stood in the back of the
room. The child was making so much noise that people in the back rows
could not hear. The dense parents allowed the kid to be disruptive for
15 minutes until the Director paused and a bunch of parents (myself
included) turned to glare at them. The father finally got the message
and took his toddler outside.

Note to prospective parents with younger siblings: PLAN AHEAD AND FIND A BABYSITTER ON ASSESSMENT DAYS! Don't
think your little darling will be quiet during the Director's
presentation, because it is well over an hour long. Your lack of
consideration will be noted, not to mention the ire of the other parents who did find babysitters for their younger offspring. Admissions
notifies you of your child's assessment dates way in advance, so you
have no excuse in not procuring a babysitter ahead of time for younger
siblings.

Afterwards, we
met our child down the hill near the playground. My child was all happy
and excited, jumping up and down and calling to me. I grinned and
called out his name; one of the teachers smiled at us. My son was in
great spirits which really lifted me. He was so animated, telling me how
much he wanted to go to Punahou and how much fun he had. After our
disastrous individual assessment, this was so encouraging and uplifting!
I thought maybe, just maybe, our son might have a chance, though I felt
the best he could do would be the Wait Pool. I told my husband, "Well,
even if he doesn't make it in, at least we ended on a good note." To
celebrate, we played on the playground before going on the school tour. I
don't think I have ever seen such a beautiful campus, and so clean. No
wonder so many Hawaii parents want their children to attend this school.
I hadn't felt this happy in months and we left the campus talking
excitedly about the morning's events.

One of the Playgrounds

And then we got our rejection on April 21st:

"The Punahou Admission Committee has completed its review of
applications for Kindergarten for the 2012-2013 school year. We
sincerely regret to inform you that the Committee cannot offer placement for the fall. Though placement cannot be offered at this time, our records indicate that has considerable potential.

"Should you wish to schedule a conference to discuss application and what may be appropriate for the future, we will be happy to meet with you. To schedule an appointment...."

THE REJECTION

We
were disappointed, but not surprised. Along with the rejection was an
invitation to talk to an Assessor about our son's test results. I wasn't
looking forward to this, but I wanted to know how he did. I felt his
individual assessment had pretty much eliminated him, even though it
appeared he did well in the group assessment. We had applied to other
schools, so it is not like we put all of our eggs in the Punahou basket.
He got wait-listed at two others, accepted at one, so Punahou was his
only flat-out rejection.

THE POST-REJECTION CONFERENCE

The
Assessor was nice and polite, perfunctorily so, but she had the
unenviable task of dealing with sets of disappointed parents. She took
us into the same conference room at Wilcox Hall where we had interviewed
with the Director.

The
results were shocking and brutal. I knew my child's individual
assessment wasn't going to be the greatest, but his group assessment was
even worse. The Assessor had nothing positive to say about my son,
other than he enjoyed Art. She asked if we were surprised by the
results, and I said no, because I knew about problems my son had in
pre-school. Although he didn't have these problems every day (some were
occasional), it appeared my son decided to condense all his bad traits
in those two assessments.

What
really happened is his scores reflected his autism. He scored a 99
percentile in Verbal, which was amazing for a speech-delayed child, but
1% in Memory. ONE PERCENT??? He didn't even make the national average of
50%. She said he was "tangential", meaning when she asked him a
question, he would respond with something unrelated, or go off on a
tangent. She mentioned he ran out of the room and had a meltdown before
going back in. Every little thing he did wrong did not escape their eye.

I
asked for a copy of the green sheet with my son's individual assessment
scores, but Punahou does not allow test papers to be copied or taken
home. I was allowed to take notes, which is what I did. I tried to
memorize what this document looks like, and did come up with a rough
idea of the chart graphic. These are NOT my son's scores, but that of a hypothetical student.

His
actual test scores did not reflect what he knew and his true abilities.
But being autistic, my son can be unpredictable. He wasn't comfortable
with his Assessor, so he didn't produce when it counted. Most
importantly, ASD children do not perform well with standardized
cognitive tests, so schools will never see their true potential.

But
the bad news didn't end there. His group assessment went just as
badly. According to the teacher's report, my son was touching things he
was not supposed to. When the teacher told him to stop, he didn't
immediately do so. He would blurt out answers during circle time instead
of raising his hand. He didn't participate in Movement Class, refusing
to follow any of the exercises, and he needed to hold the teacher's hand
during this class. He also got into a verbal disagreement with another
child during Movement Class. The girl initiated the argument, and my son
responded. Other than this exchange, my son did not interact with any
of the children. He needs social awareness of others. The positives? He
had a "good effort with drawing" and "loved the playground." This was a
far cry of what I thought had happened, given my son's happy and
ebullient mood following the group assessment.

The
test results were a rude awakening. My son is an only child, so I don't
have points of reference that parents with multiple children have. So
to me, my son was a normal, very bright child. He was "mildly" autistic,
but he didn't seem "autistic" to me. (I have a niece who is severely
autistic.) You want to believe so very much that your child is normal,
but then the real world intervenes and tells you he's not. Educators
told me my son is advanced academically, and maybe he is, but not
according to Punahou. I could accept not getting into Punahou, but what
was hard to swallow were these test results. The Assessor did not
encourage us to reapply, and by what she said and didn't say, I got the
message loud and clear that my child was not Punahou material. What
happened to the "considerable potential" that was mentioned in the
rejection letter? She helpfully referred us to people in the DOE, which
was very kind of her, but it was also a not-so-subtle message that
public school is a better fit for my son. She is right, as public
schools do have services that can help him; Punahou and most private
schools do not, because they are not required by law to accommodate ASD
children.

I'd
been told by his Special Ed teacher and other parents that his behavior
was typical for a boy of his age, so I didn't think his problems were
severe enough to prevent us from applying to Punahou. What I should have
done was talk to his school's SSC (School Services Coordinator),
because she would have informed me that my son would never perform well
with a cognitive test like Punahou's; autistic children need a different type of test to measure cognition, such as a Universal Nonverbal Test. Since
his group assessment, my son has made great strides and matured
considerably. Now he would score much better if he were tested at
Punahou, but he still would have been rejected.

Prior to our post-rejection conference, we had been waiting in the reception area. A mother came in with her little girl, asking where the summer school office was located. Her daughter had been accepted at Punahou, and they were putting her in summer school so that she'd be more familiar with the school come fall. While the mother was getting directions from the receptionist. her little girl stood right next to her, silent and motionless. She never moved, never said one word. Had it been me and my son, he would have been squirming, wanting to walk around and explore the lobby area. "So that's the kind of child Punahou likes," I mused. "Seen and not heard.Smart little robots who won't give the teachers any trouble."

Before
all of you say I shouldn't have applied to this school and checked on
schools for "kids like him", I did. Several people told me about Assets
School, but Assets has changed owners and their emphasis. They accept
extremely gifted children or extremely gifted children with dyslexia. I
called them and asked if they accepted mildly autistic children and they
said no, nor do they accept children with Aspergers. I was referred to
another school, but that school accepts more severely autistic children,
including low-functioning students.

As
painful as this conference was, I'm not sorry we went in. I highly
recommend any parent whose child was rejected by Punahou to go in and
find out why. This way, you can get a good idea of your child's
strengths and weaknesses and better prepare them for Kindergarten.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Punahou's
standards are extremely high for entering Kindergartners. This is why
so few get accepted, as they have a reputation of high scholastic
achievement to uphold. Also, inasmuch as Punahou denies this, the school
is donation-driven, so children of the very wealthy have better chances
of getting accepted, no matter what their scores if the parents give a
sizeable donation to the school. So to balance out these wealthier but
perhaps less academic students, there has to be a larger contingency of
brainiacs to maintain the high GPAs and SAT scores. Money talks, and Punahou listens.

My
husband's co-worker had two children at Punahou. According to this
co-worker, all parents are expected to donate money to Punahou on a
yearly basis in addition to paying for tuition, books and supplies.
Parents are also expected to work a minimum of two 4-hour shifts at the
Punahou Carnival. Most parents end up working more shifts because they
enjoy helping out.

I
also hope someday a large, wealthy institution like Punahou can
accommodate students like my son. Right now they're missing out on a
segment of bright, creative children that could really contribute to the
school. The only problem is such children pose more of a challenge to
the teachers, so hopefully there will be enough money and interest to
hire teachers who specialize in children with learning disabilities like
my son. I feel sorry for learning-challenged kids who do get accepted,
because this school offers no extra support for them, should they need
it. Since I first wrote this blog, my son was accepted at another fine private school and is now amember of MENSA.

Thank
you for taking time out to read my blog. I hope it proved informative
and that you can learn from my mistakes. Good luck in applying to the
private schools and I hope your child is able to get accepted at Punahou
or whichever school you want.