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Form the March 29, when I say no to my wife she goes off the deep-end struck a hard note as it relates a lot to my son but with some differences. Son and daughter-in-law have been married 14 yrs with12 and 9 yr old sons. My son finally took the verbal beating as far as he could go and moved out Dec 30, 2011. He said he was turning to alcohol and other things to numb the pain and loneliness. He said he needed to heal. He does seem better in some ways. Many buts. How do I counsel him and encourage him? Today’s show mentioned that kind of person can be bi-polar or borderline personality and no promise for hope unless that person seeks help. The irony is my daughter-in-law and son were in counseling. He stopped. She continued and is in a divorce care group at church. My son says even though her words are good, her behavior does not match. My grandson recently told me she says I (the grandma and mother-in-law) hate and despise her. I tried to tell my grandson why I love her. But she has distanced herself from me making me aware 1.5 yrs ago of numerous things she holds against me since they were married and since my first grandson was born. All that make no sense and telling me I am jealous of her and I compete with her. Even after I thought we smoothed things over past summer, she turned and is back to mad at me, blames me for saying the word divorce to my son. She has used the word divorce numerous times in their marriage as a threat over the years. Now she does not want the divorce but my son says he is not strong enough to deal with her. They are just in informal separation at this time.

I pray and pray so many different ways – for God’s transformation of both, for defeat of Satan’s schemes, to break self in all of this. This is having a confusing and destructive toll on the grandsons. My daughter-in-law says I don’t respect her. I told her I do – the only thing I mentioned to her that I did not respect was when she told my grandson more than once in her anger toward him that she wanted to break his face. So much manipulation, verbal abuse, and confusion. My son fears if he doesn’t please her money wise, she will take the boys back to Venezuela where she is from. So he busts himself with his job and defaults on some on his time with the boys. I have tried to tell him his time with the boys are very important.