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Any time a woman achieves something, she is quickly accused of neglecting her family, Condren says. There is nothing new in that treatise but what Condren talks about in her book is the way women do it to themselves and how they can stop the "self sabotage."

Whether it’s packing your lunch the night before, picking out your clothes or filling your coffee machine, doing as much as possible before bed will set you ahead of the game when you first wake up the next day. "Put your shoes by the door and your workout gear right by your bed so that in the morning when you're tired and groggy, you don't have to dig through your closet," recommends Debra Condren, PhD, business psychologist and author of Ambition is Not a Dirty Word. "You tell your kids to set their clothes out, but it works for you, too." So create a pre-bedtime routine each night when, before winding down, you can set yourself up for a smoother morning.

If you find a mentor to help you achieve your goals, you'll be promoted five times more often than your peers, says a survey conducted by Gartner Research. Mentors? They move up six times more than the competition. The lesson: Mentoring pays, whether you're giving or taking advice. Keys:

Screen. Step one: Read industry publications and books to find that dream mentor, advises psychologist and executive coach Debra Condren. "Turn off the tube and inspire your creativity by reading about all of the cool ideas that are being kicked around," Condren, author of "Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word," told IBD.

Are you building relationships. Don't reject prospects after they reject you. "If you've been rejected, it doesn't necessarily mean this person will never be your client," Condren says. "Keep the conversation going."

When managing a company, there are often traditional guidelines a CEO will follow in his/her employee interaction. For Joe Meyer, CEO of HopStop, the NY-based mass-transit information website, these traditional practices do not gel with his less-is-more mentality.

Taking a day off—particularly an unplanned for, unexpected day—can feel like taking a step backwards.

But it’s not, says Dr. Debra Condren, a business psychologist, coach and author of Ambition is Not a Dirty Word. “For small business owners who love their work, studies show that they are less likely to take vacations, and you can lump mental health days into that same category. For them, work feels more like play sometimes, and it’s hard because entrepreneurs often have a lot of balls in the air. But there comes a point when you are multi-tasking so much that it decreases your productivity and increases your stress.”

"Get the lay of the land before you start loading up the U-Haul," recommended Debra Condren, author of Ambition is Not a Dirty Word."Pick up the phone, send e-mails and make introductions. Talk with people one on one. When you are speaking with a person, always ask: 'could you recommend two or three colleagues I should contact?' If you end up moving, you can fall back on these people as your professional network and that will break some of the isolation in advance."

Though talking to more people about your search may feel like you’re opening yourself up to even more rejection, it’s actually a great way to deal with your feelings. Business coach Debra Condren, author of Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word, suggests asking friends and colleagues if they know of any job opportunities or industry networking events you should attend. “Don’t forget to ask the most important question of all: ‘Can you recommend one or two other people I should contact who might have leads?’” she says.

Allowing Gen Y-ers the opportunity to make their own hours can boost productivity.
Companies that encourage their young adult employees to make their own hours get
more out of them. It shows them that they're trusted and appreciated.

"The successful woman has a secret. She's learned that she owes it to herself, her children, and the world to make the contribution she was born to make. She's learned to ask for advice and help, to insist on getting paid what she's worth, and to set boundaries at work and at home so that her needs get met, not trampled." says business psychologist and career coach Debra Condren, Ph.D., author of Ambition Is Not A Dirty Word.

There’s a better way to meet dudes than at the local pub. “A woman doesn’t trust a man’s intentions when she is approached in a bar. She assumes that he’s liquored-up and is not himself, at best, or being disingenuous with an ulterior motive, at worst,” says Debra Condren, author of “Ambition is Not A Dirty Word.”

Individuals and small businesses may not have the budget to bring someone in for full-time social media efforts, but they also don’t have the time to do the tasks themselves. Dr. Debra Condren, author of Ambition is Not a Dirty Word: A Woman's Guide To Earning Her Worth and Achieving Her Dreams, says that she employees a virtual assistant or “VA” to handle her social media marketing efforts.

How to deal: "Rally your friend by making it a challenge to see how much fun you can have for $10 or $20. (She can pretty much pull that amount of cash out of thin air with one of these painless money-saving switches.) Or agree to set a limit of how much cash she's comfortable spending and promise to head home as soon as you both reach your total, no matter what. (But getting guys to buy you drinks is totally legit.) By sticking to your word, you're proving to your friend that being broke doesn't have to be boring," says Debra Condren, author of Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word.

"Your coach's goal should be to help you dig down deep to define, clarify, and refine your career goals, then come up with a specific strategic plan to unleash your passion and ambition, supercharge your professional objectives, and ensure that you are on track to maximize your potentials and derive full satisfaction from your career," said Dr. Debra Condren, founder of Manhattan Business Coaching and author of Ambition Is Not A Dirty Word.

“If you can make peace with extra hours [or] multiple roles, you can alleviate resentment, bitterness and stress,” says Debra Condren, author of Ambition is Not a Dirty Word. “This pressure won’t go on forever; if it does, find silver lining. Eventually seek out new opportunities and make a move.”

In addition to the philosophical aspect of the book, Dr. Condren offers a multitude of practical tips for being successful, from learning to confront coworkers that sabotage your work to getting paid what you are worth.

Debra Condren, a Manhattan-based business psychologist, says that entrepreneurs who succeed at keeping their own businesses alive after taking a day job tend to be smart about compartmentalizing their roles into set hours.

When in doubt, try a little humor. You might not be Jerry Seinfeld, but even stab at a joke in a tense meeting can go a long way, says Dr. Debra Condren, a bi-coastal executive coach with a Ph.D. in psychology. Supervisors should try some self-deprecating humor, remember, if you're stressed, your minions are, too, so let them know you can roll with the punches.

Entrepreneurs who own more than one company "need more stimulation, more brain food, more challenges that will allow them to really stretch their imagination," says Debra Condren, a business psychologist. "It keeps them feeling passionate about their work as opposed to feeling sated, like eating the same food every day. They want variety." In other words, one man's hopeless confusion is another man's smorgasbord.

Verbal JujitsuBerated by a co-worker or a frustrated superior? Dr. Debra Condren, founder of Manhattan Business Coaching and author of Ambition Is Not A Dirty Word, a career guide for women, has a solution: "I keep my face neutral, make sure I'm breathing and staying calm, with my feet planted any my body relaxed," she says.

Why do so many women fail to achieve their professional goals and earning potential? Why do so many women feel guilty about wanting a fulflling career? A business psychologist, executive coach and career adviser who has worked with thousands of smart, high-achieving women, Debra Condren, Ph.D., has discovered the true culprit: this time it's not the men holding women back. This time, women are doing it to themselves because ambition--for women--is still a dirty word.

Don’t Sell Yourself ShortSome part-timers have a tendency to sabotage themselves by putting down their efforts, or apologizing for being part-time. This is the wrong approach, according to Dr. Debra Condren, author of “Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word,” a career guide for women.“Even if you are working some hours from home, in your pajamas, feeding your toddler while squeezing in an emergency client call to answer a question, remember to tell yourself that you’re getting it done, you’re great at what you do, and you don’t need to explain or to apologize (the client needn’t know that you haven’t made it into your street clothes yet today),” she wrote in her book.

“Host a business-community mixer at your print shop,” advised Dr. Debra Condren, business adviser and author of Ambition Is Not A Dirty Word. “Invite all of your clients, cross-promote and possibly share the expense with your local chamber of commerce and/or other business organizations, including local banks."

"There's a big cost to women who shun the role of bad guy: It keeps you from going for your share of the opportunities pie at work, from taking risks that can have huge pay-offs, from standing up to people when you need to, from being tough even if it brings on disapproval from others, from taking the credit you deserve," she warns. "It keeps you from being taken as seriously in the workplace as those who stand up for themselves and play bad-guy hardball. It keeps you from earning what you're worth (i.e., it can cost women between $500,000 and $2 million in earnings over the course of their careers) and from earning as much as your male counterparts who are willing to play the bad guy in negotiations do."

"Tired of being pressured to pick up the tab for a broke friend? Agree, before you agree to go out, to set a limit of how much cash she's comfortable spending and promise to head home as soon as you both reach your total, no matter what. ...By sticking to your word, you're proving to your friend that being broke doesn't have to be boring, says Debra Condren, author of Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word."

"Especially during tough economic periods, it's important to give people face time and basic human appreciation on a regular basis," says Debra Condren, a business psychologist and founder of Manhattan Business Coaching in New York City. "A plaque may be nice for 15 minutes, but once it goes on the wall, people tend to forget about it."

Entrepreneurs and people in service industries, such as lawyers, may feel the heat more than others, said Dr. Debra Condren, a business psychologist and executive coach with offices in New York and San Francisco, California.

“If you are at a high-profile event and all the executives are having a drink, you may feel you need one to be part of the club,” Dr. Debra Condren notes. “That being said, you can still drink very little of it or have one drink and then switch to water.”

"Loving your work is the most important factor in aging well," says Debra Condren, PhD, psychologist and author of Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word: A Woman's Guide To Earning Her Worth and Achieving Her Dreams. "Small-business owners who love their work take 75 percent fewer vacations than people who dislike their jobs or who work just to pay the bills. When you love what you do, work is like play—so every day is like a vacation." Keep your career goals on track and your passion for work alive to feel young and vibrant no matter what age you are.

Author Dr Debra Condren was able to instill in me that if you are prepared and know your stuff the only thing that could possibly stand in your way on your journey to success is yourself. In today’s day and age, women are still raised to nurture -which is fine in the home- but can be detrimental in the boardroom.

He (and let’s face it, it’s usually a man, not a woman) builds this lifelong career. Builds up power. He becomes a legend — in his own mind. The legend in his own mind and the nature of narcissism is that he splits off his immoral, self-destructive behavior, meaning he compartmentalizes it/denies it, essentially; the narcissistic mind has this way of telling itself, “That person cheating on his wife of 20 years and becoming a horrible role model to my four sons–I’m not THAT guy.”

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About

I’m all about creating ways for ambitious women to share our stories with each other.

I am a business psychologist, researcher, author, executive coach, and career advisor. I lead workshops and lecture frequently on women’s need to embrace our ambition. I founded the Women’s Business Alliance, a motivational think tank for more than 2,500 women. For more details, see my about page.

I’d love to hear your story. Ambitious women owe it to ourselves—and the world—to make the contribution we were born to make. Let’s keep the dialogue flowing.