omowole inuobidun

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I have just hit on an idea that is sure to yield some good returns. I am not going to hoard it since it is in the interest of the common good and posterity to have this queer idea brought into fruition. The inspiration for this idea is from none other than the luckiest woman this side of the Atlantic and the “mother of the nation”, who recently promised to ‘mother us a ll.’ Whilst, I am not content to wait on the whims of fate to gift this lucky couple yet another office, I hasten to add that young Nigerians should take their destinies into their hands since the odds are high that nothing radical indicative of a marked improvement in their material fortunes would be effected on Goodluck Jonathan’s watch. For pointers as to the shape and what to expect of a Jonathan presidency post May 29, you need not look further than the slew of gerontocrats, the vilest crop most culpable for Nigeria’s parlous state who have made their depraved wisdom available to Mr President in his determined quest to win the April. The sage who said that it was madness to do things the same way (read in the context “use the same set of heads”) and expect different results perhaps had Nigeria in mind.

But I digress. The Facebook crowd and the denizens of social media like Twitter and Youtube are currently having a field day peddling the innumerable gaffes of Dame Chief Dr Mrs Patience Jonathan during her stumping the country for votes for her husband, Goodluck Jonathan. All thanks to the ‘Prolific’ first lady, we have amongst other varied side-splitting additions to the growing list of memorable Nigeriaspeak and official gaffes, “Umbrerra”, ‘ mother all of you’, “fellow widows” and many others whose volume and innate capacity for comical relief form the thrust of my business idea. Whilst the PDP presidential campaign rallies have been largely drab, devoid of quotable quotes (apologies, Dr Chuba Okadigbo) the rented crowd notwithstanding, Mrs Jonathan is stealing the spotlight by unwittingly providing a beleaguered citizenry unending jokes and indelible sound bites. Her malapropisms are fueling new Youtube videos and spurring amateur creatives to churn out blackberry broadcasts that are becoming increasingly viral, casting her Excellency in the mould of cyber celebrities like Rita of Koko Mansion infamy. Nigerian Twitterati would one day wake up to the sudden realization that Dame Jonathan’s malapropism is trending on Twitter. It would be the best complement for the Facebook President.

Truth be told, while Dame Patience Jonathan is not alone in her presidential struggle with the English language, she beats previous denizens of exalted ‘gaffedom’ in the pedestrian nature of her unending verbal slips up. No thanks to her effortless gaffes, she has found good company in the ranks of eminent men and women both in and out of the corridors of power with notorious penchant for misspeak. The immediate past President of the USA, George Bush was famous for malapropisms like “They misunderestimated me.” An online blog, Slate, could not resist the allure of collecting “Bushisms”, an euphemism for Bush’s gaffe. That literally spawned a cottage industry of collectors of “Bushisms”. Sarah Palin, the Republican party Vice Presidential candidate is equally amassing a huge following of ‘Palinlogists’ who not only study her seductive appeal to the average American but also chronicle her unending gaffes in public. Palin and her rival, Joe Biden, incumbent vice president constantly outdo each other on the political gaffe-o-meter. We have Sarah Palin to thank for the word ‘refudiate’, one of her bespoke gaffes.Back to our own Dame Patience Jonathan, her verbal slips has notched her profile not only as Nigeria’s first Niger Deltan first lady but also the first presidential spouse to become the inspiration for a viral Youtube video and numerous blackberry broadcast. First ladies the world over make the headlines for their outfits, their charity events and some other sublime contributions to humanity. Not in Nigeria, our ‘national mother’ churns out admonitions that encourage Nigerians to “have love for our fellow Nigerians irrespective of their nationality.’ Her verbal slip ups are making the rounds on blackberry broadcast and they come at a speed that rivals the people’s capacity to duck for cover under the” umbrera”. She thus stands a chance of plucking for herself a Sowambe award (the Nigerian social media awards) just like her husband just recently did.

In view of her excellency ability to deliver side -splitting malapropos that would make Sarah Palin earn soap-box infallibility, I am proposing that we borrow a leaf from the God’s own country by inventing our own gaffe-o-meter to track not only the frequency but the comical value of Dame Jonathan’s gaffes. This is imperative before her creative efforts stand the risk of being misappropriated by smart denizens of the in famous Alaba market for compilation into a hit CD. To forestall this cheap profiteering from our collective patrimony, Twitteratis and Facebookers can subsequently start to catalogue her malapropisms and even trademark a term ‘Patiencism’ a la Bushism, to describe the first lady’s misspeaks. Comedians who try to parody the jokes at their sold out stand-up comedy shows would be expected to pay royalties to the curators of the website and the gaffe-o-meter, at least a modest token for their efforts at compiling quotable quotes for posterity and most importantly for a long suffering citizenry whose daily existence is shorn of mirth.

In furtherance of His Excellency’s quest to ‘bring back the book’ again, a compilation of madam’s extemporaneous speeches can be made into a book form for an elaborate launch. The launch should be held before the general elections for strategic reasons and proceeds should be channelled into stocking up our decrepit libraries with literary texts and primers to forestall the recurrence of a generation of mothers whose dream is to ‘mother all of us.’

On a sublime note, the inexplicable rise of Dame Jonathan, like her husband of many years, to prominence is the climax of the logic that Goodluck’s spin doctors feverish pitch to ever hopeful impoverished masses of Nigeria: “If the poor boy from Otuoke who walked barefoot for kilometers to school daily can become the president, so can you all.” The morale when extrapolated would read like this: if a Patience Jonathan as first lady can work the crowd with her unending gaffes, then wart and all, anybody can become Nigeria’s first lady.

Even as young people nurse the hope to become the celebrities of their dreams, I add that they look out for the forthcoming Nigerian best seller: ‘I will mother all of you and other gaffes’. Available in good book stores near you.

I would never have thought in my wildest dream that I would be paying tribute to my dad this early in my adulthood. But life, when it happens, does not give a prior notice. Like the several lessons that my dad taught me in life during his fruitful lifetime, his death teaches yet another invaluable moral.

Capturing my late dad’s truest essence in words is one herculean task. I wish I were doing this in a full length memoir. Only last month I was obsessed with the thought of writing about growing up the son of a primary school teacher who gave his all to the one vocation he loved: teaching. Dad was not only a teacher by training, he lived his life teaching everyone who crossed his path: from his infectious wits, to his irresistible jokes and wisecracks down to his never ending reminisces about his life experiences and acquaintances with everyone that was fortunate to meet him. My dad taught all.

As a child that was given to pranks, I never far away from trouble whilst growing up I always wished that he would flog me than sit me through hours of lectures about how to navigate life and grow up to provide leadership for my two sisters. He taught me to love books and reading. He filled the house with books; newspapers and magazines even though they were not always current editions; they were always available for me to read to gain an appreciation of what was happening around me. He shielded me and my sisters from the corrupting influences associated growing up in Lagos skid rows. It is to his credit that we gained a refinement that was somewhat alien to where we grew up.

He taught me to take a keen interest in my immediate community and not glumly sit as an arm chair critic. I would listen to him discuss union activities with his fellow comrades and hear them strategize on how to protect the threatened interests of their colleagues. He didn’t shriek from discussing the finer details with me even though it would take me years later to understand what he was passing across. I had heard it in passing from his friends and relations not until I stumbled on a picture of my dad when he was 19 did I realize that I was his carbon copy. I could have sworn that I was the person in the picture.

Family and friends are to be cherished, he was not once to pay a lip service to that ideal. He lived it. It wasn’t important if his concern and care for people were not reciprocated. When I became a young adult, the altruistic interest my dad had in people was indelibly impressed on me when he took turns to pay repeated visit to friends, associates and relatives some of whom never knew his abode. His life commends to one Plato’s allegory of the metals. He was not lead, nor silver but pure, unalloyed gold. What he lacked in material fortunes, he made up for it in humanity. He was human bearing his fallibility with grace not malice. Most importantly, he knew God and was never tired of seeking his face to see him through life’s treacherous paths.

Dad never envied others, he hoped for the best. He sought the best for his family within the limit of his modest earnings. He would give even to those that were materially more endowed than he was. He didn’t find any contradictions in giving. My dad made me laugh, even when things were not looking up as expected he didn’t miss an opportunity to make people around him happy. He made us happy and always sought ways to make our lives more comfortable. He appreciated every little gesture and didn’t consider anything condescending for his family.With hindsight, his last phone call was yet another lesson. It was about my youngest sister and the need to ensure her comfort in school. Sadly, he left no clues that it was going to be his last moral to me. I am grieved that he didn’t even say good bye. Yet, I am consoled by the good life that he lived.

Dad, your lessons and ideals are not lost on me. I will ensure that I live them; and put them to good use and make you proud. When the world asks me why I live the way I live I will tell them I was a teacher’s son.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Nigerian Youths Are Deciding the Qualities and Values of the 2011 President!

Once again Democracy is about to give us a chance to choose the leader of our dream in the coming general elections. No nation can grow beyond the quality of its leadership. Nigeria is loaded with huge potentials, all we need is the leader who can harness all these potentials and move us into a nation of peace and prosperity. The time to identify that leader is NOW!

Interestingly in the history of our great nation, there has never been such a time when young people are mobilising and gathering to actively engage in the processes that shall produce leaderships both at the local and national levels come the 2011 elections. From online social networks to real time rallies and conferences, the heat is on. Young people are coming around and coming in to say that they are stakeholders in the political space. Afterall they possess a huge chunk of the votes that shall determine the next leadership, and the policies and programs of any leader always has telling impact on the lives of our youths. There are many ongoing efforts by young people to ensure that Nigeria gets it right this time, and this essay contest is one of such efforts.

So in your own words, write a 2 page essay on the topic “The Qualities and Values My President in 2011 Must Have and WHY”.

The Prize

The Best Essay Author wins a 10days all expense paid trip to a West African country operating a Democracy. The 2 Runners-up alongside shall recieve consolation gift items and would as well be presented alongside the Winner to The Hon. Minister of Youth Development of Nigeria, and members of the press in Abuja. Send in your essays today through engage@youngstars-foundation.org

Eligibility 18-35years old Nigerians. Only 1 essay entry is allowed per individual.

Nigerian Youths Are Deciding the Qualities and Values of the 2011 President!

Once again Democracy is about to give us a chance to choose the leader of our dream in the coming general elections. No nation can grow beyond the quality of its leadership. Nigeria is loaded with huge potentials, all we need is the leader who can harness all these potentials and move us into a nation of peace and prosperity. The time to identify that leader is NOW!

Interestingly in the history of our great nation, there has never been such a time when young people are mobilising and gathering to actively engage in the processes that shall produce leaderships both at the local and national levels come the 2011 elections. From online social networks to real time rallies and conferences, the heat is on. Young people are coming around and coming in to say that they are stakeholders in the political space. Afterall they possess a huge chunk of the votes that shall determine the next leadership, and the policies and programs of any leader always has telling impact on the lives of our youths. There are many ongoing efforts by young people to ensure that Nigeria gets it right this time, and this essay contest is one of such efforts.

So in your own words, write a 2 page essay on the topic “The Qualities and Values My President in 2011 Must Have and WHY”.

The Prize

The Best Essay Author wins a 10days all expense paid trip to a West African country operating a Democracy. The 2 Runners-up alongside shall recieve consolation gift items and would as well be presented alongside the Winner to The Hon. Minister of Youth Development of Nigeria, and members of the press in Abuja. Send in your essays today through engage@youngstars-foundation.org

Eligibility 18-35years old Nigerians. Only 1 essay entry is allowed per individual.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

This year’s seminar would be held in Tanzania in order to enable our many East African applicants who for want of travel funds have not been able to enjoy the life-enriching encounters to do just that. And there is a money-prized essay contest open to all Africans between the ages of 18-35 as well.More details here

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Be among the 3 winners of $350 each and global profilling by submitting a page essay on the topic

"Discuss any skill, knowledge, technology, issue, product etc that Nigeria can develop, master and begin to teach the rest of the world as a leading nation in that field by 2020 and beyond"

Eligibility - Nigerian youths 18-3years of age resident in Nigeria.

Deadline - entry closes April 15th, 2010. Winners announced in May 2010

Submit entries with CV, Passport photograph and a referee to competition@ youngstarsfounda tion.org

Organiser: Youngstars Foundation Jos with support from Skipsted Ideation, Denmark.

Preamble:

The time has come for Nigeria to become a leading country in a field of endeavour and contribute in making the world a better place. To achieve this, it is time we begin to think about areas we can develop further, master and become the best in such fields such that the rest of the world can learn from us. Different countries of the world have today become known for one thing or the other, the Chinese have become known for herbal medicine as well as technology, Japan became known for technology also. India is also becoming a hub for ICT. USA is known for commerce and industries. The Asian Tigers also are known for all kinds of manufacturing. It is time Nigeria becomes known for something it is teaching and giving the world. Young people can lead in this discuss as we are sure to be the major actors come 2020 and beyond.

Winning essays shall be essays that are

Clear about the idea is it proposing that can make Nigeria a leading nationDemonstrates good historical background about the issue being discussedPoint how Nigeria can begin to develop this field over a long term periodGrammar, creativity and simple use of English can make a huge difference.Selection and Judges

From the pool of entries, 10 essays shall be selected and posted online for our team of local and international judges to evaluate and score up to 60points. After their scoring, the audience shall be invited to vote for their winning essays covering 30points. Youngstars shall have a 10point score to also award. After this process, the 3 winners shall be announced.

Waivers

By submitting your essays, you agree to waive the following

Ø Appealing against the final decisions of those announced winners for any reason whatsoever.

Ø The essay once submitted to Youngstars becomes the full property of Youngstars Development Initiative, and by that the organisation is free to use the essays and articles for any other interactions it deems fit.