For everyone who feels like their life is a train wreck, all aboard.

​It is a glorious, sunny, spring day here in Jomo. I’ve got my wash on the line, drying in the sun and wind. Good thing, too. Maybe the sun will bleach the puke smell out the sheets and blanket. Oh yes, last night was a fun and adventurous romp into projectile vomitting.

There is nothing like the sound of your toddler going Mount Vesuvius next to you. On your bed. On your sheets and blanket. At 2 AM. It is safe to say I know I would be able to get out of bed quick, fast, and in a hurry if I needed to. Let’s just hope I never have to do that again.

We don’t know what caused the eruption. What I do know is I have salt on my bed to try and suck up the smell and moisture. I do not look forward to vaccuming that all up. We already know he has a chocolate allergy. Nothing good happens when he gets chocolate. I hope the rest of the family remembers that with tomorrow being Easter. It’s not easy having to take chocolate bunnies and eggs from your kid. Especially when everyone else has already bitten the ears and tails off their’s. It’s even less easy cleaning up puke that smells like a chocolate covered cadaver.

I will say the salt worked wonderfully. It soaked up all moisture and smell. It even killed the random ant that got too curious. That’s right. It’s ant season here. It never ceases to amaze me how I can clean, vacuum, and put away all leftovers and still have a crawling black mess on my counters. Nothing creeps me out more than finding one crawling on my leg. And even though these are just regular, old, little, black ants, their bite sucks. It’s like getting pricked with a needle. And Goddess help me if one gets in my drink and I don’t see it before I chug. Oh my holy cow! If you have ever crushed one of these offending insects you know they give off an offensive odor. Now, imagine that as a taste. Yeah, it’s that bad. We spray. We put out traps. We clean up after ourselves but still they persist. A never ending stream of six legged horror. They are everywhere.

I wish ants were the only things we had to contend with around here. Just the other day, Pooka D’Ooka was growling and posturing by the back door. I figured it was a possum, dog, cat, deer, or bird. Nope. Big nope. Big nope rope. There was a six foot long black snack by the back door. Its tail was up four steps high by my door and its head was already on the ground, slithering away. I yelled at it that it left the rest of its body on my step.

I’m ok with snakes. I am. But this one creeped me out because of its size. I’m 5’8″. My son is three foot tall straight. This snake was twice the size of my toddler! Yeah, that’s startling. Especially when its on your back steps.

The toddler was impressed by it. He’s been very curious about nature. He loves watching the frogs that gather on the windows. We have discussions about why they’re there. We leave our dining room light on to make it easier for the T Rex to navigate to the bathroom. The light attracts bugs that the frogs like to eat. According to the T Rex the frogs are using us and are lazy. The world through a child’s eyes is beautiful.

What’s not so beautiful is the pile of powder in the living room I have to clean up now. Mount Saint T Rex erupted again. This time at my husband’s feet. I have to hand it to the King, he grabbed some of that vacuum powder stuff and sprinkled that on with the quickness. That stuff smells better than the sawdust they used in school.

As a precaution, I am back in the T Rex’s room. For the night. At this rate we will not be attending Easter dinner at my mother in law’s. That makes me sad, I heard there would be ham. Oh well.

So, here’s to all you Easter Bunnies out there, dying, filling, and hiding eggs. Enjoy the holiday as you celebrate (or not celebrate, that’s up to you). And hopefully the Real Easter Bunny brings us some Pedialyte for the T Rex (and wine for this unhoppy mama),