5 tips for overwhelmed moms that made a difference in my life

I will always remember that day. I was at home, in the living room, surrounded by a total chaos. My son was having a difficult period and nothing seemed to work in my attempt to fix this. My house seemed a mess and I felt too tired to do something about it. I felt so hopeless… And I was convinced that I was doing something totally wrong! So I just sat on the couch looking around me. Bogdan came into my arms. He probably felt that I was really sad. I hugged him really tight and tears rolled down my cheeks. At that point, I was wondering if I am even a good mom for him… I never imagined that motherhood could ever bring such an overwhelming feeling in my life!

I knew that I needed to change something but I had no idea what to do. So that night, after Bogdan fell asleep I started looking for solutions and tips for overwhelmed moms. I read some very helpful articles and made a list of ideas on my agenda. Next day I started to implement the strategies that seemed more useful for me.

After a couple of days, I felt the difference! And in the next two months, I discovered what really worked for me and things started to become easier. I found a balance in my life and I began to enjoy motherhood again!

If you are going through the same struggle and you feel totally overwhelmed, I want you to know that this is normal! Motherhood is a very difficult job and sometimes it’s harder than we ever imagined. The good news is that there are things that can help us overcome the difficult moments.

photo credit: 279photo Studio / shutterstock.com

Here are the 5 tips that really made a difference in my life. I really hope that they will help you too!

1. Let go of all the unnecessary tasks

I used to feel that as a mother I need to do everything: taking care of my child, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, and so on. But the truth is that we cannot do everything. And we shouldn’t!

So the first thing that I’ve done was to give myself permission to let go of a lot of tasks. The relief of having fewer things on my to-do list was so great!

Here is what I’ve done: I’ve made a list of all my tasks. I’ve included everything on the list, even the most simple things.

Then I looked on the list and I separated the things into 3 categories:

– things that I can let go and can be postponed to a period of my life when I am less tired and overwhelmed

– things for which I can ask for help or that can be externalized (e.g. hiring someone to clean the house, buying a dishwasher instead of washing the dishes, ordering groceries online instead of going to the store, asking my husband to take over part of the tasks)

– the things that I still need to do.

I’ve removed all the things from the first category from my schedule. Then I moved on to the second category.

2. Ask for help

This may seem easy for some of you but for me, it wasn’t! I was not used to asking for help and I didn’t want to bother anyone. But I realized that doing everything by myself wasn’t doing me any good!

So I reviewed all the things on the second category on my list and I asked for help. My main support came from my husband who took over many tasks. But I also accepted help from my parents and his parents or any friend who was willing to help me. For a while, we had a person who helped us with cleaning the house and this was a huge help!

So don’t be afraid to ask for help! It may seem difficult at the beginning but once you will feel the benefits you will thank yourself for doing this!

photo credit: 279photo Studio / shutterstock.com

3. Prioritize the to-do list

Even after asking for help, there are still many things on my daily to-do list. What helps me deal with this is to prioritize everything. I write down all my daily tasks. Then I give each task a number according to its importance. I always start with the most important things on my list.

This way, even if I don’t manage to do all the tasks on the list, at the end of the day I know that I’ve done the most important ones. And this gives me a feeling of fulfillment that allows me to give myself grace for all the things that I haven’t managed to do.

What totally helped me manage my schedule better and have more time for me was to create a weekly schedule for me and my son. It may seem that creating a schedule is just a new task to add to your list but the benefits are worthwhile. Planning the week in advance allows me to do a lot of nice activities with my son while still taking care of the house and having time for the things that I like to do. If you like the idea of having a weekly schedule, here are the tips that helped me create one for my family: How to create a successful stay-at-home mom schedule {+printable planner}.

A really helpful resource

When it comes to learning how to manage my time in the best possible way, I recently discovered a 5-day course that is a great resource for every mom who struggles with time management, planning, and implementing plans.

The course is created by Kim Anderson, author of the Thrifty Little Mom blog. She gives a lot of practical solutions that can be rapidly implemented. What I like most about this course is that it helped me feel in control about my schedule and this matters a lot! If you feel that you need help for planning and organizing your everyday tasks, you can find Kim’s course here: 5 Day Complete Life Management Course and Workbook.

4. Embrace the joyful moments

When you feel tired and overwhelmed it is very easy to only see the negative parts of your life. But the truth is that even the most difficult motherhood periods have something wonderful and unique that we can enjoy.

A nice exercise that helps me regain my positivity is to write down three reasons why I am grateful at the end of each day. This allows me to focus on the positive things instead of the negative ones.

Another exercise that is useful for me is to think about a difficult moment from the past. A moment when I felt totally overwhelmed. When it seemed that nothing worked for me as a mom. This is a good reminder that I have overcome other difficult moments in the past and that in a few days/weeks/months the present difficulties will no longer be part of my life. Thinking about this gives me a little bit more optimism to deal with whatever I am facing now.

photo credit: Evgeny Atamanenko / shutterstock.com

5. Put yourself first

As mothers, we always put our kids first. And this is a wonderful thing! But once in a while, we need to learn to put ourselves first. A break can make miracles when you are tired and overwhelmed. Any child needs a happy mother and a happy mom needs time for herself!

So make sure that you plan time for you on a regular basis. For example, you can agree with your spouse to have two hours free every Saturday. The kids will get to spend some time with their dad and you will have time to do something you like. Doesn’t this sound great?

Also, you can use the nap times to do things for you! A change that totally improved my life was the decision to never do chores during nap time! I do chores while Bogdan is awake and I involve him in everything. I’ve done this ever since he was a young toddler and he is used to it. This way, I only use his nap times for my work as a blogger or for doing something else that I like (watching a movie, reading a book or just resting)

These were the tips that really made a difference in my life and I really hope that they will be helpful for you too! There are a lot of little tips that you can implement in your life to make it easier and more enjoyable. The most important thing is to make a commitment to yourself not to let the overwhelming moments take over your life! You can change things and you can overcome all the difficult moments!

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Raluca Loteanu

If you find yourself on this blog I invite you to discover us as the happy family we are, who look with optimism and joy at life. If you want to contact me, you can find me on email, I gladly respond to each message.