MILLBANK – Lester Berman, 53, cares a lot about the reputation of his fellow Millbankians, even going beyond the mere appearance of their attire. For over fifty years, Spotless Dry Cleaners and Alterations has not only cleaned, pressed and mended clothes, but also offered other services in order to uphold what he calls “a certain level of peace and stability” in the town.

For a price, Berman and his capable crew can remove stains, hem cuffs and “influence people who are giving his customers difficulties”. According to Berman, “We know that clean and tailored clothes are a sign of a well-managed life, and my expert crew, Moosejaw and Chopper, are there to help my customers solve any problems that might lead to mussed apparel. They work quickly, efficiently and without bringing the authorities into it.”

“A good dry cleaner learns a lot about people by what they bring in. Sometimes, you can tell that someone is having money problems or love troubles – they keep wearing the same suit and it’s getting frayed, or they suddenly bring in a flashy ensemble. A good cleaner might discreetly ask if they can help “remove” the issue for a certain fee. Voila, everything is clean and taken care of.” Berman says that Millbank has changed a lot over the past few decades, and his business has expanded to meet a growing demand for his services.

“When my pa opened this place in 1962, people in Millbank walked around wearing potato sacks, often with the potatoes still in them. At least, that’s how he tells it,” smiles Berman, “and you never argued with Pa.” As a child, Berman helped his father with a number of simple tasks, checking pockets for money and jewelry, tailing suspicious customers and sweeping the floor. By the time he inherited the business in the early 1990s, Berman had received a full education in the family business and was able to apply the same strict standards set by his father. “The most important skills for a good cleaner are discretion, attention to detail and the ability to get blood out of anything.”

When asked, customers at Spotless were uniformly positive about the level of service, but none of them wished to be quoted or identified.

Berman hopes that Spotless Dry Cleaner and Alterations can help to impose yet more refined standards upon Millbank’s populace. “There’s just no reason for sloppy dressing,” says Berman. “Sometimes I look at some guy in ripped jeans or with mustard on the front of his shirt and I think he should be garroted and thrown in Water River.”

Spotless Dry Cleaners is located at 810 Divan Street in Milbank. Business hours are 10 am – 4 pm, Monday – Thursday, but with a “special deposit” and references, “cleaning” services may be requested on the “Spotline” 24 hours a day. No squealers.