Monday Watch List: Jack Bauer’s Final Hours

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you sit at home and try to make sense of the “Lost” finale. I can’t believe the whole show took place in the imagination of an eight-year-old boy! What’s that? That’s not how it ended? Well, it SHOULD have ended that way. LET’S GO!

24 (FINALE) – 8:00PM (FOX) This is it for Jack Bauer. Well, kinda. He’s coming back in a movie written by Billy Ray (Shattered Glass), and I daresay that movie will melt your face off. But this is the last time you’ll see Jack’s mug grace a small screen series. Obviously, he won’t die. But surely he’ll blow some stuff up, kill lots of people, and hook a guy’s nipples up to a pair of jumper cables. Just for old time’s sake. Maybe you think “24” is absurd. Maybe you think it’s a dated leftover from the Dubya administration. Whatever you think of “24,” I will tell you this: There has never been, and may never again be, a more INTENSE show on network television. Think about some of the “action” shows you saw as a kid. What did “Simon and Simon” do every episode? Do you even remember? Didn’t they drive a truck around and maybe get into a five-second bar fight? Those days are thankfully over. “24” was the first show on TV to match R-rated action movies in pacing and graphic violence. That will be its ultimate legacy, and it’s not such a bad one. ANTICIPATION: BLOOD!

THE BACHELORETTE (PREMIERE) – 8:00PM (ABC) Time for the female twist on “The Bachelor” that doesn’t quite work because it’s a female twist on “The Bachelor.” I dunno. Far more fun to watch women fight over a guy than to watch guys fight over a girl. Anyway, your lucky gal this season is Ali Fedotowsky, who I bet makes one hell of a pierogi. ANTICIPATION: HOT AND POLISH!

INTERVENTION – 9:00PM (A&E) A gymnast becomes an addict. What’s the average intake of a gymnast alcoholic? Half a beer a day? Three drops of vodka? One lick of the side of a wine bottle and our girl is a TRAIN WRECK. ANTICIPATION: UNEVEN BROADS!

TRUE LIFE: RESIST THE POWER – SAUDI ARABIA – 10:00PM (MTV) Young Saudis tell stories about rebelling against their own oppressive government. Wait a second. This sounds compelling and important. What’s it doing on MTV? It’s a little known fact that MTV’s True Life series is perhaps one of the finest journalistic shows on TV right now. Except for that one where the dude got calf implants. That was just stupid. ANTICIPATION: CALLING CHUCK D!