The Ring vs. The Grudge Is a Real Movie That Exists (and Is Pretty Good)

Over the weekend, horror streaming service SHUDDER unveiled a new exclusive, flagship movie: Sadako vs. Kayako, or, as us Westerners would probably know it as better: The black-haired girl from The Ring vs. the black-haired girl from The Grudge.

Both properties, big hit franchises in Japan, had Americanized remakes a while back, greeted by great commercial success and a sudden invasion of the J-horror aesthetic into the mainstream U.S. consciousness. Gore Verbinski's The Ring was, in retrospect a masterful exercise in tension and patience that fell into the wrong hands sequel-wise. 2005's The Grudge didn't quite translate as brilliantly, but a producer in Sam Raimi and a solid amount of scares meant it still caused nightmares in many a young white kid, and, yes, made BANK.

In Japan, The Ring and The Grudge franchises have accounted for a joint twelve films between them. Now, there's a new one. Perhaps to piggyback off the imminent release of Rings, the third entry in the U.S. The Ring franchise.

Sadako vs. Kayako as a concept makes sense, in certain ways. Crossovers are big, both film series are popular worldwide, and we love when two cultural icons beat the shit out of each other (except when Zack Snyder does it). The film itself makes sense, too. And it's kind of fine!

The first half an hour or so of Sadako vs. Kayako are, to say the least, a bit of a slog. We're introduced to our main characters, and reintroduced to the mythologies of both Sadako and Kayako (I find it extremely hard to believe anyone will be watching this movie oblivious to this, but hey, gotta pad out that first act somehow). After a spate of mysterious suicides and the re-emergence of the "cursed video," high schooler Natsumi finds herself in possession of the famous tape, having been offered a reward from a professor for proof such a thing exists. After she accidentally watches it, she receives the requisite phone call, indicating she has two days before she dies (in the U.S. version, it is 7 days.)

Why do kids always think they're gonna be the ones to overthrow an ancient, all-powerful evil with total dominion over the physical realm? Doofuses, the lot of them.

Meanwhile, another young girl, Suzuka, has just moved in next to the Grudge house, forever cursed by the family murdered in it, who appear and kill anyone who enters. Plagued by visions, Suzuka embarks on finding a way to stop the curse once and for all, which is not smart. Why do kids always think they're gonna be the ones to overthrow an ancient, all-powerful evil with total dominion over the physical realm? Doofuses, the lot of them.

Both the cursed girls find each other and enact a plan: if they play the tape within the Grudge house, perhaps Sadako's trespass will antagonize Kayako, and the two will be pit against each other.

For the most part, Sadako vs. Kayako is a simple, effective little horror, with some neat effects and scares that match those accomplished by their bigger-budget counterparts. There's also no shortage of jokes. The film itself is self-aware and a little funny, but that comes at the cost of any real tension. By the final "fight", which lasts all of five minutes and accomplishes nearly nothing (I mean, how do you really get two undead spirits to do "battle" with each other when they adhere to completely different rules?), the stakes are muddied, and the characters still barely sketched out, to the point you wonder why you're even caring, save for the novelty of the spectacle.

There is a neat, disturbing little twist at the end, and some inventive imagery that unnerves. I thought I was burned out on J-horror tropes, but the final couple of shots explore a new take. I wouldn't go as far to say it's worth watching for the ending, but we're not getting a remake of anything this bonkers any time soon. Why not just... savor it, flaws and all?

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