Jewish Singles and “NOTHING!!!”

Ever leave a child in his/her terrible two or therrible threes to their own devices and realize suddenly that it was waaaaaay too quiet??? You then proceed to ask the child “What are you doing, Trouble Jr./Trouble Juniorette?”, and the response is, a loud, guilt-laden voice answering “NOTHING!!!”–You sprint like a marathon runner because it is then that you discover Destruction. (Your Laura Mercier lipsticks smashed to nibs and smeared all over your new cream linen by your adorable nephew; Your new Agent Provocatuer Lingerie stuffed into the toilet bowl, trying to be flushed down by your niece, but alas, too much lace(???? tiny pieces of nothing as a gift to yourself and a new boyfriend), so you are essentially standing in Gigi’s (insert your name) Flood, without an ark, and with microscopic pieces of lingerie that cost enough to pay a mortgage on a home in Long Island, floating all over the floor—AND THEN YOUR BROTHER IN LAW WALKS IN…. Need I continue??? I didn’t think so…(Those of you that wanted me to continue, you now have something to dicuss with your shrink this week–”Why do I enjoy Gigi’s suffering?”=0)

So what does this have to do with Jewish Singles? I AM PREACHING ABSTINENCE!

MESSIN’ WITH YA!

Well, if you wan’t to abstain, you can do that. Leave me out of the bedroom…Since the lipsticks, bedrooms scare me…I get hives…Nah…This insomniac’s fave hobby is to sleep, if she can find out how!

My point about the “NOTHING!!!” when A LOT OF SOMETHING IS GOING DOWN is EXACTLY THAT…

I didn’t write to you all in while. I didn’t want to tell you I was so alone, the feeling was palpable…How badly I wanted to be held, have my hair stroked, someone to take my pain away…Face my issues dead-on, and not live in denial.

I can’t always be funny here, and I am not sure if you guys(by guys I mean guys and gals) even read what I write. Do I depress you when I am honest? Is it okay if I am not laugh out loud funny? If I surrender and put up a white flag, with the addition of a black flag, AM I DRAGGING YOU DOWN WITH ME??? I wish some of you would respond–something brief–one, two lines…Please tell me how I am doing…Yes, I am very insecure…And yes, I kinda fell for you guys…My job though is to write as the NYC Singleton that I am, which I do with too much honesty at times… Would you rather I am funnier and not talk about what I feel, when I feel, IF I FEEL???