You’ll have to excuse the Good Rumor Man for failing to keep you current of late regarding trade, coaching and draft chatter. I hate when the NBA interrupts my fundamental train of thought and schedules the Finals in early-to-mid June.

Hopefully that nuisance will get straightened out in the new collective bargaining agreement. In the meantime, it’s time to put out a few fires, throw cheap gasoline on some others and maybe even start a couple.

Fact or fiction? You don’t actually believe the Warriors and Magic have so much as discussed a Monta Ellis-Dwight Howard swap. Come on, the report is so absurd I stopped reading after the first sentence. Therefore, I can’t even ridicule the rest of the purported Anthony Weiner-like package.

Real or unreal? Unfortunately, the Warriors may deal Ellis before Mark Jackson has a chance to be the first one to coach him, though it’s inconceivable the new owners would surrender such a stud for anything less significant than a centerfold.

Ellis flaunts one of the league’s most remarkable finishing touches with the verdict in its concluding deliberation. That’s why 76ers coach Doug Collins covets his Oakland neighbor’s goods far more than what the Clippers are offering (chronically injured Chris Kaman) for Andre Iguodala. Ellis and Jrue Holiday would be a fabulous fit for Philadelphia, Lou Williams would continue his sixth-man role as master blaster and Evan Turner would shift almost exclusively to forward and share minutes with Elton Brand and restricted free agent Thaddeus Young, guaranteed to be re-signed.

The Bulls might never lose another game with Derrick Rose and Ellis playing off each other’s toughness and quickness at both ends. It’s unclear whether Luol Deng has indeed been offered. Clearly, that won’t get the deal done. Joakim Noah would. Considering there was no interest in exchanging Noah last season for Carmelo Anthony, it’s unimaginable a 6-foot-3 guard, no matter how majestic, could tempt management.

FYI: Imposing consultant Jerry West loves Gay. As Grizzlies president, he acquired his draft rights from the Rockets (with Stromile Swift) for Shane Battier. But Gay, like Deng and Chris Bosh, is probably a third offensive option on a championship contender and at best a No. 2.

So Golden State would remain a franchise player and a center short with no financial flexibility to secure one or the other. Gay is on the books for $69 million over the next four seasons, whereas Ellis has $33 million coming to him over three. Of course, if Memphis really wants Ellis, I’ve got to believe the Warriors would gladly accept the restricted free agent Gasol in a sign-and-trade.

True or false? Let’s put it this way, the reported talk between the Timberwolves and Bucks involving the second and 10th picks of the draft (not even a hinted mention of eminently unavailable Kevin Love) is Andrew Bogus. Both teams deny ever exploring that trail.

“It’s basically laughable,” underlined a Milwaukee official who plans to keep his excellent, young center.

*

Right or wrong? Four and a half years after being fired by Timberwolves president Kevin McHale, Dwane Casey, 20-20 at the time, will be back in business on the Raptors’ sidelines as soon as the NBA owners and the players’ union wrap up their business.

I didn’t have time to look it up: Has Minny Ha Ha won a combined 20 games since Casey’s dismissal?

It’s fascinating how Tom Thibodeau harvested so many air accolades as the Celtics’ defensive genius previous to his promotion from assistant to head coach of Chicago, yet Casey barely got cited as the coordinator of Dallas’ championship resistance.

That’s what happens, I suppose, when you’re not a Jeff Van Gundy disciple, as well as when ABC’s game/studio analysts neglect to recognize how confused LeBron James was by the Mavericks’ shifting zones and man-to-man protection.

Rockets GM Daryl Morey must’ve based his selection of McHale over Casey on one-on-one workouts.

“How dare the NBA!” column contributor/lifelong Spurs fan Gregg Siegel protests. “The league can screw with the regular season all it wants. Scrap the whole thing, I don’t care. It’d just save me seven months of Richard Jefferson torturing me. But how dare it call off the Vegas League! How DARE David Stern!

“I don’t think the league thought this out. From what I read, the Maloofs already are in suspect financial straits. What the heck are they going to do without all of those newly minted first-round draft picks blowing their paychecks in their casino? And did the league even consider the financial impact on the Spearmint Rhino? There’s no telling how many strippers won’t be able to make their rent now. There are livelihoods at stake here.

“I really am distraught over this. The Summer League is infinitely more entertaining than the regular league. I can’t even imagine how Marco Belinelli or Julian Wright must feel. For all I know, Kiki Vandeweghe could still be searching the Thomas & Mack Center parking lot for his rental car. This is a sad, sad day.”