Good Morning, News!

A drug-crazed carjacker wearing only socks took his rightful place as king of Scottsdale, Arizona. First he took a Porsche, and wrecked it. Then, after taking off all his clothes and chanting—even climbing atop an SUV victoriously—he pulled a woman out of a Prius and wrecked that, too. United Nations peace talks continue over the Syrian revolution, but with a warning: If they fail, diplomats intoned very sternly, the world could wind up watching the fight spread across the Middle East, a conflict of "grave severity." Aaaaand because Russia is Bashar Assad's sugar daddy, the chances of failure are high.