Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My all too-loving girlfriend knows me well, and she'd be the first to tell you that you don't ask me to go on a vacation or a trip. You either set the trip up and hand me a ticket, or inform me you're going and you'll send back pictures. I loathe the idea, the planning of it all and the unbearable dread of actually having to fucking be somewhere not home. It stems, I'm certain, from the years I went with less than solid footing in the residential world - which I like to call the 'back seat of an '82 Corolla'. I can create a long list of excuses, work being the tops, malaria being a close second...fear of flying...ugh!

Anyway,that crutch of "I've got writing to do" was my mantra all of last year and I realized very quickly as the end of 2007 came to a demoralizing halt that I was nothing more than a pathetic lump trying to live vicariously through worlds I told myself I was going to create. Because I didn't, I systematically watched as the days and weeks stretched into months and seasons of white pages and happier friends. My best mates, from the first time I stepped foot into Vancouver, all traveled the world - not before handing me a personal invite, mind you - and I shucked it in fear of missing out on my goals. None of which I met.

At the start of 2008 I decided it was either give up, or shut up and work. To date, 1 finished spec feature (rewrite still withstanding), 2 rewrite outlines/notes formulated to be completed ASAP, and 2 new 'in progress' Features. I've been doing what I said I would last year...and I'm happy about that.

So when it came time for the annual call to arms of my childhood best friends a couple things crossed my mind; I've got so much to do and I'm actually doing it, so that would just fuck up my pace - And, why the hell do they bother even inviting me anymore? It is with heavy heart that I think of my friends though, since the neglect has been solely mine in the past few years. I feel as if I'm just an outside entity now, one who could easily be forgotten and probably with good reason. And though I believe they wouldn't ever really stop at least making the offer to join in, I did kinda feel that maybe this could be the last time...So I decided, if nothing else, one last romp...

I booked my flight and committed, and nervously awaited the departure date. The morning of the trip out to Montreal I tossed around the idea of bringing my gear and working through the trip...Until my wonderful girl bluntly pointed out "For fuck sakes, have some fun for once". The laptop, the scripts and all the rest of it stayed at home --

As much as I'm a negative, cynical prick in my tone - as noted by my mates a few times - I don't think I could have been any happier. Sure, my legs felt like they were going to collapse at every breath, but it was worth it just to trek around all day with the boys and find stopgap measures to sustain one continuous alcoholic buzz until the night could take full effect. God I missed that camaraderie, the continuous razzing and fluid heckling that only true friends can pull off with one another.

We took in the city, the bars, the pretty women and the other bars. And of course there was the Formula 1 Grand Prix which held little interest to me going in but blew my head off once I was in there. Ever busted your ear drums while watching a guys head blur by at 300km an hour? There's not much like it, that's for sure.

And while the 6 days away from work put a crimp in my scripting mojo - it was worth it, every minute. I've got a bounce in my step to hit the sheets and pound out something great...maybe even something that could make my friends proud. It made me realize that if you step away for a few days, there really is more important things waiting for you, little bits of life that I falsely believe I can be created on a page ...they can for sure. But you gotta remember what the hell it's like from a first hand experience...