Friday, September 21, 2007

The Merits of Dating a Younger Guy

Okaaaay, totally promising to not get mushy here. My day of mush is over, whoooo-boy it was bad though. Gee golly, golly gee. Seriously, Monday I was just useless. You know when you get really depressed and all you want to do is lie in bed and think about how sad you are? All I wanted to do was lie in bed and think about how happy I was. It was disgusting, really, like I was on some weird heroin high (never done heroin but I am just assuming here).

I have to say that as much fun as the loved up, head over heels, gaga stage is, there IS a reason why feelings fade a little bit over time...I shouldn't say fade, but the passion meter is turned down a notch.

BECAUSE IF WE WERE TO GO ON IN THIS LOCO STAGE FOREVER, NOTHING WOULD EVER GET DONE!

We would all be unemployed, broke, fat etc, sitting around on our large asses and sighing. The world would fall apart.

I am, of course, not at that stage yet where the passions are tempered (I give it a few years - damn, a few years of uselessness?), so I am trying to make do.

Here are some reasons why dating a younger man is great (lol total non-sequiter, but whatever, you'll require that a few months ago I had a post about dating a younger guy and my "problems" with it, so here is how I was so very wrong):

1.Dating a younger guy means you get to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time. I have noticed cycles in my life, I'll party when I'm in college (Auckland, Kamloops) and then there are periods where there is no partying really...like since May last year till three months ago.

The thing is, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I do like to get my drink on and have a good time. So it's beyond cool, to me, that I found someone who is as up for it as I am. No longer do I feel like a lush at lunchtime when I order a ceaser, cuz he will order a beer. When I suggest "Jagerbomb? Wanna do shots? Wanna get shitfaced?" he just nods and does it. And he WANTS me there with him, shooting those things back.

I guess it comes down to the fact that he is also a Rockstar and well he parties like a Rockstar, as does the rest of his band. Good times and it keeps me young lol.

2. When you date a younger guy, you are the older woman. This usually means (at least in my case it does) that they think it's super cool that they landed a really hot older woman (yeah, yeah just two years, but give me a break). Which in turn means they revere you and are in awe of the fact that they even got a smoking hot babe like yourself. Very important.

3. When they complain about how they are getting older and don't know what they are doing with their lives, you can just pat them on the head and give a knowing sigh.

4. Sex. Is. Awesome. It's all the time, constantly and there is energy like no other. No wondering here whether you are sexually desired or not, it's pretty darn obvious and obvious all the time. Wheeeeeee!

5. There is no pressure from outside sources and therefore less pressure on the relationship. No one talks about big scary issues like marriage when the guy is 24. He's got 4 more years of ignorant bliss before those talks start to come.

6. Though people are jaded at any age - in fact I was MORE jaded when I was 24 - the fact that he has two LESS years of being screwed over makes a big difference.

So tell me, women, do you agree with this? And men, any positive perks about dating older women (aside from the fact that we can teach you some pretty cool sexual things ;)?

22 comments:

I am laughing uproariously at the fact that you think being TWO YEARS his senior qualifies you as an "older woman". Really? You were both in high school at the same time. You really think a guy 2 years older than him would be radically different? OK. :)

Robert - Yeah, hello, ass hat, two years is nothing you are right, Guess you didn't get the whole "tongue in cheek" bit of the post. The fact that there is NO difference.

THAT said, there is always stigma attached to a girl dating a younger guy because of the whole "women mature faster than men" thing dating back to...yes...High School. Funny how everything still relates back to that, but let's face it, a girl in grade 12 would have never been with a guy in grade 10. Out of school it makes no difference, as I can attest to, but the stigma still remains, at least in my head it did.

HOWEVER what I do find to be a difference is that the other men I have dated have been like 3 or 4 years older...so comparing THAT to a guy two years younger is like a 6 year differnce and yeah, there are some things that I can tell, the things I have such listed.

Hi, wow this is so odd that you have this up here b/c I'm going to be 23 in two months and I've met a guy who just turned 20 and I really like him, but I'm afraid he's not been in the game long and well I have been out of the game for a while, so it's a little slow going, but we'll see what happens. Anyway, part of his charm is the fact that he is younger and all the things you've mentioned do come to mind. He's a rockstar, too! But yeah, small world. :)

oh my god!!!! this is what i needed,,,i need help!!! i meet this guy at the beginning of december and we spended holidays together .I'm 30 and he is 18,hmmm,,,yes i know big difference. I have my bestfriend all over me telling me that I'm crazy lol,,am i really that crazy???

I am 32 dating a guy that is 22. Some of my frineds have a problem with it but it makes no difference to me. It's funny how guys my age are so threatened by it. He is sweet, affectionate & appreciative of what he;s landed! he tells me everyday how gorgeous & wonderful I am. Yes that feeds my ego a little but it's also nice to hear a guy actually say what he's thinking and not "play the game". I have no idea if it will lead to anything serious & I don't really care. I am having a great time just hanging out with him. PS..the sex is amazing!No I drank too much and can't do anything crap like I've heard in the past! ;)

I just started liking a younger guy.(Im 20 he is 17) He is just so much sweeter than guys my age or older. I mean, I feel weird when making a move because he is more innocent than I am. but he makes his moves and lets me know he is a guy full of testosterone. I enjoy being with him and it being innocent and sweet. how we can hold coversations... it soothes my heart abit after all the bitter fighting to keep guys off of me and the heartbreak of my first love.

Believe it or not, a couple of years really do make a difference.Younger guys (2 years younger and plus) are sweeter. Ive just noticed that they really havent been tainted by girls their own age and are more willing to try to take care of you.

I dont know, Ive dated a guy about 6 months younger than I was... I find it gross that my ex is 19 and dating a 16 year old girl. its, IDK. I hate it. I guess its just because I know how girls that age are... they don't know themselves yet. they are ready to throw themselves into sex to show their "commitment". I feel younger guys are different. But Im also afraid of that turning point... I mean guys my own age were sweet too.

Am I a hypocrite? I find it gross my ex is diddling a little girl, when Im connecting emotionally and making out with a guy who seems like he wants to prove himself...

I'm 30 have been dating a guy who is 24 for a month now, and it is nothing but amazing. It really is true about them appreciating you more. I think there is a lot of truth to the idea that they feel lucky to have landed a beautiful, older woman and therefore express their feelings openly and honestly unlike the many older men of my past. I am a very active person, and dating someone younger challenges me everyday, unlike a lot of older guys who can't keep up. and about the SEX. BEST and MOST EVER!!!!! that is all i have to say about that :o)

This may have been quite a while a go that you all commented on this. I met a guy who works in my area and he's 16, I'm 19...would this be wrong? It's seeming so true what you're saying about them beeing sweeter and appreciating you, it's harder to find a gentleman these days aye ladies :P. It would seem weird if it were the other way round...bit of advice PLEASE...

Anonymous it is not bad at all that you are 40 and dating I don't care what age. I just turned 40 and I am in love with a 19 year old. Not by any will of my own.. actually with much dismay at first. But then... I learned... love is love, we do not control it.. it controls us. I love with passion and conviction and wholeheartedly in a selfless manner that could never be seen as anything but precious. This person comes before me in every manner, so don't care about age. Love wholeheartedly and be glad that you have love. For so many will never know the meaning of this. :) Ianthe

i noticed your post is 4 years old but still I want to THANK YOU for posting this up! And to other commenters for sharing their stories. I'm falling for someone 7 years younger than me and it scares the hell out of me... thanks for sharing, gives me some courage to open my heart and take the leap of faith :):):)

I am 26 years old, dating a 24 year old. Some people in this thread said that two years is not a big deal...for me it has been! In a good way! He is not jaded by relationships, he's "Fresh" and energetic and active! He's super sweet to me! At first I felt dirty like I was craddle robbing or something but now I am starting to let go of that judgement! I used to only date guys about 4-5 years OLDER...this is my first younger guy. Its such a different experience! Like I said...not jaded and tainted by life yet!

OK - so I am 40 and he is 29. I NEVER had so much interaction in a day then when he and I go back and forth via texting, emails or calls. It's like he is just as into me as much as I want him to be. He's always ready to 'get down' in person or on the phone. He is always trying to prove how passionate he can be and let's just say it's sooo nice to know there will be more then 1 round of, um, well, orgasms on both parts. And foreplay. . . holy ships, it lasts for hours. Totally hot. Plus I know I've knocked his block better then he's had in years! hey! I don't think I could ever go back to dealing with guys my age or older. As the joke goes,"How many times does 29 go into 40? More times then 40 goes into 29!". If I were rich, I own a resort for women with all young men. Madame Heidi F. had it right when she tried to open her 'Stud Ranch' - too bad people were so closed minded!

OMG! First of all, I am in my forties who is constantly told that I look in my thirties. I have been dating a 28 yr old who is completely hot and the most experienced man I have EVER been intimate with. I must admit that I have always been attracted to older men but that idea has been completely NIXED!

I am 47 dating a 19 yr old and I was surprised at myself for even considering it. The hardest part is having a secret relationship b/c to go public would be too dificult. He is the 3d younger guy i have dated since my separation/divorce. My X said that i had sexual desire disorder b/c i didnt want to have sex with him that much. I was just resentful of the expectations he had and that a lot of older men have of women. Like we are slaves or something. Younger men seem to appreciate older women - but there can be problems. The first one i dated was afraid of commitment and the second one liked to drink too much. So, no matter what the age there is going to be problems. The question is whether you can communicate and work them out. Good luck.

I am 41 and met a guy 27. I have never had as much fun and excitement as being with him... And the sex is awesome! Maybe I'm a young at heart person because we are on the same level with eveything and laugh constantly! I'm happy he's happy and that's what matters! I have been with a man 7 years older - and he is a jerk! So look who's laughing now! Cheers!

I really like this page. I enjoyed reading all your comments here. I am a gorgeous & very attractive 41yrs old woman, still married, but very unhappy with my marriage. My husband is 60 yrs old & has no desire with sex whatsoever. I have a co-worker who is 11 yrs younger with me with whom I be-friended over a year & he may never express his feelings to me, but the way he looks & care for me, I knew he really like me & I felt like am also falling for him. I really believe in the sanctity of marriage & that is why I never divorce or cheat on my husband, but I AM SO VERY UNHAPPY...PLS ADVISE!! Thanks!!

About Me

I've been many things in my life: an aspiring screenwriter, a journalist, a marketing lackey, a vagabond solo traveler, a frugal fashionista, a music journalist and now, an author of a much-loved Young Adult supernatural series - one thing that'll never change? My urge to be Anywhere But Here.