The Innovator’s Dilemma, of course, is about the trap that successful companies fall into time and time again.

It is very possible that Apple could fall into this trap. However, it’s also proven to be exceptionally good at being the one that replaces its own products. You could point to declining iPhone sales as a sign the company is ripe for a fall, but no one has come up with anything better, the market is simply saturated.

“Blowing what?” you may ask. Let The Macalope assure you it is blowing all the things. Let us hasten to the enumeration of the blowings, for there are many blowings to be enumerated and we would not want to leave a single blowing behind.

The Apple’s starting to fall far from the tree

Translation: I am driving to the outskirts of town to buy these incorrectly-used Apple metaphors from Dirty Ray’s Misplaced Metaphor Market and Vape Shop.

A serious bug was found in Group FaceTime that allowed a caller to hear conversation and even get video before the other person picked up. This is a substantial black eye for Apple but don’t worry, someone is always around to try to make it seem even worse than it is.

Say, kids, if you ever find yourself in the Apple punditry business and you want to make a point about how the company is doing but the facts are inconvenient, just pick different facts. It’s really that easy.

If there’s one thing we know about the smartphone industry, it is a zero sum game. So, if Apple is down, that must mean that everyone else is up! That’s how zero sum games work, right? It’s just everyone against Apple.

Congratulations, nay-sayers! You stuck with it for… [checks calendar]… ten years of iPhone shipments and you’re finally a little bit right. This quarter will not be a record. It’ll “only” be Apple’s second-best in history.

The Macalope isn’t here to tell you that everything is all sugarplums and candy canes on Apple devices all the time, but since he deals with the worst of complaints about them week in and week out, let’s spend this magical day looking at what could be if only…

We’re approaching the end of 2018 so it’s time now to list all the ways Apple has done us wrong all year long. Sadly, no one has yet had the gumption to make one of these list into a country-western song. Think outside the yearly complaints list box, pundits!

This would be the problem that when people have AirDrop set to accept file transfer invitations from “Everyone”, they can receive invitations from — are you sitting down? — everyone. Having it set like this can be a problem because some people — it’s men — get a thrill from showing their gross bits to other people. Here the Macalope means their physical gross bits and not the gross bits of their souls, although they are also putting those on exhibition.

Apple is missing out yet again and it’s nothing at all like the other times Apple was supposedly missing out but that didn’t actually end up amounting to anything. Unless we’re talking about network speeds.

What?

Oh. The Macalope is being informed that, yes, we’re talking about network speeds.

Gordon Kelly proudly declares that originality has no place at the Forbes contributor network and Institute for the Advancement of Understanding Why There Are So Many Spider Eggs In Your Hair.

“Apple's New iPhones Have An Expensive Nasty Surprise.” (Tip o' the antlers to @JonyIveParody.)

You can’t swing a 30-pin dock connector cable these days without hitting a pundit wailing about the Apple doom that the current swath of rumors of iPhone production cuts must mean.

Not that The Macalope is suggesting you should do that.

If anyone is watching.

Anyway, while the furry one maintains that you can’t trust these thinly-sourced supply chain rumors, there are seemingly a lot more thinly-sourced supply chain rumors this year than in previous years. Is it smoke or are analysts just smelling burnt toast again? When you add in a particularly bad turn in the market overall and the threat of tariffs on products made in China, yeah, #AAPL is down quite a bit.

Once more, Apple has decided on what is best for everyone with an iPhone as it sneakily adds code in the latest release of iOS 12 to slow down the iPhone 8, 8 Plus, and iPhone X smartphones in a bid to extend the battery life of the handsets.

Being a pundit is never having to say you’re sorry. So buckle up, readers, as we take another ride on the ferris wheel of iPhone production cut rumors that has again broken from its frame and is rolling toward the sea!

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and home of the creamed corn party cannon, Ewan Spence wants to believe.

It seems like every year two things get moved up: stores putting up holiday decorations and doomtastic rumors about cuts to iPhone production orders.

Last year it wasn’t until December that reports of iPhone X production cuts were floated like so many lead balloons carried around by lead children. These reports went on for more than half a year until Apple reported two quarters of increased iPhone sales and repeatedly said the iPhone X was the best selling iPhone, you chowderheads.

Now, here it is only early November and already we’re being treated to breathless details of upcoming Black Friday deals, whirring maniacal mechanical Santas in Ace Hardware stores across the nation and, yes, reports of production cuts on the iPhone XR, which was released less than two weeks ago.

In Apple’s quarterly conference call with analysts last week, the company announced that it would no longer be providing unit sales figures for iPhones, iPads and Macs. As was foretold in prophecy (or, in this case, a tweet by The Macalope), the caterwauling about Apple converting to the practice followed by almost everyone else in the industry has begun!

Apple announces its quarterly results today so that means it’s time to get your shots in to try to drive the price of its stock down so you can buy it cheaper before people realize the company isn’t actually going out of business.

Seeking Alpha isn’t the only place where such stock shenanigans go on but they are here for it!