I was thrilled to learn that everyone in my more-or-less randomly chosen cast of characters (friends, fellow networkers, past collaborators) has made a formal commitment to social impact. Most of us have strong founding missions. One runs a foundation (plus her company). Another awards scholarships and masterminds critical fundraisers. A third is what I’d call an “extreme” mentor—going beyond experience to hand out hard-won resources to women in her space (aka her competitors). Several sit on non-profit boards, donate work and more. Imposter syndrome or not, we were all a “10” on the social responsibility scale.

I thought about all the many arenas that might apply, then shook my head. “Uh honey, that’s me,” I told him. When I'm assertive, and not even being prickly about it, I often feel like I'm being a bitch (which makes writing this particular column fun but terrifying). I brace myself for disapproval, as if my power weren’t really valid. I am always surprised to hear accord and even admiration. Conversely, I’ve felt a compulsion to be nice when I don’t mean it. If my power is my word, then I’m weakening it with these bogus maneuvers. Screw that.

Intend what you say: every significant word. Then switch on the self-discipline. Rarely apologize. Never backpedal. Stop explaining every little thing. Instead, pour your focus into what’s next, so you can continue laying your imprint—and doing what matters.

When you care as much as you do, control is tough to give up. You might be the mother of your business, but mothering quickly leads to smothering. This is especially true of millennials: they appreciate guidance, but they also want to do things for themselves.

If we can learn the right balance, we’ll have the best of all possible worlds. We’ll continue to care about our people and about every quality detail, but we’ll also enable creativity and cultivate real, internalized growth. And as a result, we can sop up all that young, juicy talent—and leave the dregs to businesses without all that heart.

Put your systems into place, including pre-defined checkpoints. Then empower and entrust. You have a vision to manifest: let your people support you to get there. That’s a win for you, a win for your vision and a win for the employee that’s working his ass off.

When It Comes to Negotiating, Grow A Pair

“No” is a complete answer, Daniel likes to quip. I’ve said it much more lately—but my mind is still prone to going back to the conversation, wondering if I should have acquiesced to that haggling prospect (no), waived our minimums for that enticing--and broke--startup (no), given an acquaintance a bigger discount (no) and so forth.

Selling ourselves, pricing our services and drawing clear boundaries is where we can take a page from men. Women start their businesses with “six times less capital than men…and make 27% of the revenues of our male-run [counterparts],” according to Julia Pimsleur, the author who inspired this whole discussion. Let’s bring up these appalling numbers!

Calculate the value you bring, and triple it. Never disparage your capabilities, and don't take potshots at yourself, either. Instead, brag about your accomplishments, even the ones that are yet to come. Negotiate fearlessly, and understand you can't help everyone. If the answer is no, say no—and stop. If it's yes, draw your boundaries, then observe them carefully. Remember: “service” does not equal subservient.

Take gender insults in stride. Presume the speaker is a rookie, a bully or both. If you crave revenge, go get it: scale your business and do not look back.

Remember: Your Actions Will Change the World

“The world will be saved by Western women,” said the Dalai Lama. That sounds about right. Our worldview is set to do good while caring about those around us, sans violence. Every struggle we go through and every victory we have contributes to a much better world, a world in which women lead. Kaboom.

It’ll be a chain reaction, too. At a baby shower for one of my million-dollar entrepreneurs, I met Lisa Shalett, a marketing powerhouse and volunteer mentor for Women in America. We started talking about women-owned businesses, empowerment and scaling. And she got me thinking.

“Women in their twenties and early thirties value having other women as role models—often over men,” she said. This isn’t about obligating you to help other women, like a guilt trip by Madeleine Albright. This is about what young women are calling for so we can show them how to take the reins. I for one can’t wait to do my part.

High commander (Photo by Trish Lynn / MarketSmiths)

That brings me to my art selection for this three-part series. What began as a reach for original art quickly became an intentional choice: in lieu of headshots of my beautiful and inspiring women entrepreneurs, I’ve been posting Colette, a fresh-faced two-year-old. The daughter of an entrepreneur with a (MarketSmiths) saleswoman, there’s every chance Colette will come to own her own business. Either way, I hope she’ll look back on these pieces, and marvel at how far womanhood will have come.

You’re being watched, in the best possible way. The watchers crave more than inspiration: they want new thoroughfares to enter and explore. So stop playing it small. Shoot for the moon—and leave behind you a bright shining trail of stardust and worthwhile work.