EUSA to found ‘WankSoc’ in an attempt to improve student’s wellbeing

Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) have announced plans to set-up a Wanking Society (WankSoc) this semester, in order to combat stress in the build up to dissertation season.

WankSoc, which is being formed as part of EUSA President Channing Ross-Tatum’s campaign to improve student wellbeing, will invite a number of guest speakers to run seminars on Wanking Technique and Theory, as well as hosting a number of socials throughout the year. WankSoc’s inaugural guest lecture, entitled ‘Which type of wanker are you?’ was supposed to take place in George Square Lecture Theatre 5 next week, but has been cancelled after concerns were risen by Ross-Tatum that proposed lecturer Piers Morgan would violate safe space policy by being “a bit too much of a wanker”.

The lecture has been provisionally rescheduled for early February, with footballer John Terry widely tipped to replace Morgan.

Applications for positions on WankSoc’s committee are now open via MyEd, and include: Treasurer (of the sperm bank), Muscle Toning Coach, Porn Librarian, and Social Secretary.