gwendolyn alley, writing coach & college teacher

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“Little Things” aka “Popular Mechanics” aka “Mine” by Raymond Carver

Early that day the weather turned and the snow was melting into dirty water. Streaks of it ran down from the little shoulder-high window that faced the backyard. Cars slushed by on the street outside, where it was getting dark. But it was getting dark on the inside too.

He was in the bedroom pushing clothes into a suitcase when she came to the door.

Just a thought about this story as it is supposed to be written in the objective third person. Writing in the objective third person, the narrator has no access to any of the character’s thoughts or emotions. This means the narrator can only describe how the characters look, or what they say or do.
I am wondering then about these sentences.
“She felt her fingers being forced open. She felt the baby going from her.”
“But he would not let go. He felt the baby slipping out of his hands and he pulled back very hard.”
Any thoughts or feedback would be great
Andrew

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