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Sally Brampton

I have lied to my partner about my drinking and bulimia, and feel like a fraud

I have a great life, but I drink excessively in secret and make myself sick
after meals. Both issues are deep-rooted and have never been addressed
properly. I am 31 and completely confused as to why I’m doing this, and am
torn up with guilt. I feel terrible that I have tricked my new partner, who
is my soul mate, into thinking that he has a nice, normal girl, when he has
been lumbered with an alcoholic, bulimic fraud. Bulimia clouded most of my
twenties and alcohol has been a bone of contention in past relationships.

I’m at a loss as to why I’m behaving like this, when I have everything I want.
I adore my parents, but choose to drink alone and spend hardly any time with
them, and I’m in constant dread that I haven’t been completely honest with
my partner. Is it possible I’m punishing