Volkswagen has issued a timeline for the program, saying that key staff members of the Environmental Protection Agency and California’s Air Resource Board will be rounded up for reprogramming starting December 15th.

“It took us a little while to figure out the best methods of persuasion,” Looter told Autoblopnik.com. “Finding something that would work on people who had no children, spouses or pets was more difficult then we anticipated. But so far the pilot program has gone well, and none of our test subjects are inclined to find even the least little problem with the TDI engines.”

Looter said that if all goes according to plan, reprogramming will be completed by the end of June.

“Best of all, this fix won’t have the slightest effect on the cars themselves,” Looter said. “And if any of our owners do feel the performance of their Volkswagen is not what it should be, we are happy to have them reprogrammed as well.”