'Keeping Up With the Kardashians' Season 5 Premiere Recap: Kim Kardashian Has a New Boyfriend

Kim Kardashian has a new love in her life, and she's a little obsessed with him ... or rather, it.

Her latest beau is her new macked-out mansion that she's thrown herself into since her breakup with Reggie Bush.

"It's kind of like my relationship," she says. "I'm like nurturing it and like spending a lot of time there and making sure that everything is perfect. It's my new boyfriend."

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It really is stunning, but she's more than just a little protective of her new boyfriend. Her family isn't allowed to touch the windows, eat, walk on the grass, or breathe while they're there.

Of course, if she could afford such a pimped-out pad, she could surely afford a cleaning lady (or army), but that doesn't seem to occur to her. Which is good, because then where would the story line be?

Speaking of which, mama Kris Jenner pushes Kim to host a housewarming party. Kim spends most of the night freaking out and cleaning.

"Merry maid Kim is turning into a lunatic," Kris, the party animal, mocks her.

Some red wine on a pillow pushes Kim over the edge, and she retreats to her bedroom.

"This is just too much anxiety for me," she says dramatically.

Poor thing.

Then it's Bruce Jenner to the rescue with a lesson of wisdom about houses being made for making memories and some other touchy feely stuff that had me flashing back to The Brady Bunch.

And in the same way Mike Brady's words magically made Jan accept her freckles (or whatever dilemma she had), Bruce Jenner's words make Kim Kardashian relax enough to go down and have a mini food fight with her mother.

Only Alice wasn't there to clean it up ... but a cleaning crew was on the way.

Kim and her new boyfriend seem like a great match, but it will be interesting to see how they do in a threesome as Kourtney moves in with them. Or foursome if you count Mason.

I'm beyond over the whole Scott Disick and Kourtney trying to work things out line, but in a nutshell: He's still a jerk; she still wants it to work; and Khloe refuses to let him in her driveway much less her home, which is why Kourtney moves in with Kim and her boyfriend instead.

Did you watch the premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians? Do you think it's going to be a good season?