As I get myself back into the habit of writing rambling pages in the morning to “get the junk out” (a.k.a Lisa Byrne), I found tucked into my journal a post reflecting on a Carmelite obituary. No one famous had died, and yet this brother had made a big, positive impact on the lives around him. Brother Antoine’s presence can be described in one word – welcome.

Certainly, I can be as affable as the next person when I’m out doing errands or talking on the phone to a customer service rep. That’s easy.

What I struggle with is my fluctuating moods at home, my children, and my husband. Everyone has a story. In my case, I’ve dealt with adrenal fatigue, post partum depression twice (which makes more me more susceptible to depression), an overdose of Tylenol in college, and more than 20 years with a family member’s addiction with limited support from family. My details are different from yours, but the result is the same – I’m a stressed out mom with a lot on my plate in every sense of the word. I don’t have to live this way, and certainly my kids would love to have a calm, affable mom who laughs and jokes.

Being affable is a choice. I have to make the choice every minute, every day. Some days, it’s easy. Some days, it’s really hard. Some days, I fail miserably.

What the obituary doesn’t tell us about is the choices Brother Antoine made every day in his journey to becoming an affable person. Did he struggle with the daily sacrifices? How many times did he fail until he began to understand why he failed and how to do better the next time?How do you stay motivated and focused on being an even-keeled person?

Meet Barb

Barb Hoyer has written 4364 posts.

After working in the fundraising world for over ten years, Barb is an avid runner, writer, photographer, parent volunteer, and lover of dictionaries and thesauruses. Wife to an engineer and mom to 5 kids, Barb lives in the suburbs of Philly. Her idea of relaxation is an afternoon on the couch with a stack of books.

Comments

Wow – I related so well to your post! I also struggle with adrenal fatigue and had PPD with my first child. I have 2 two and under and we are moving (as you read in my post. Thank you for the invite to link up, btw). Needless to say I am stressed and very moody (at the moment I am getting over being angry at something that happened this morning..as a matter of fact!). I really need to work on being more affable. Definitely. Thank you for this post! I am off to do some dishes (which I find therapeutic) and get my mood on straight for when dear hubby comes home. Blessings!!

It’s still a struggle with me. Some of the vitamins that I’m taking are helping a lot, plus exercising and eating a good diet. Unfortunately, since I’m 44, pre-menopause may be coming into play now, or maybe soon. Or maybe it’s the adrenal fatigue. It’s enough to pull my hair out!

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