Re: Melancholic Depression... Over 10 years... » AlexCanada

> I am very similar in my symptoms. I would not be able to type this msg without medication.

That is pretty bad. I managed to type messages when I was feeling worse, but each message would take a long time to compose - often over an hour. Things like that can remain hidden from everyone else. It is hard to see the amount of internal "push" it takes for someone else to function. I would often sit at my computer with my fingers on the keyboard, staring at the monitor with eyes unfocused, and typing nothing. Those were not fun times.

> I would an emtpy lifeless, severely cognitively impaired, non social, zombie whom is unable to enjoy anything. Motivation to shower would even be difficult and I'd have to push myself to do everything.

That is horrendous. I would like to say that it is hard to believe that you manage to fight your illness and continue to have hope in such a severely depressive state. Unfortunately, it is easy to believe. So many people on Psycho-Babble have been smited to live similar lives. You have already accomplished more than what many healthy people have. You have chosen to remain alive and managed to survive while trapped in an altered state that leaves you functioning at a level that is subhuman.

> Ritalin, Valium, Parnate have helped me all to a degree but parnate has lot so much of it's effect. Rhodiola Rosia helped tremendously cognitively, slightly for mood, and quite a bit for motivation.

How high a dosage of Parnate have you tried?

I have found that I respond better to Parnate when it is combined with nortriptyline and lithium. The only time I experienced full remission was when I was treated with Parnate + desipramine. I relapsed when this treatment was discontinued by my doctor, but never responded well to it again. I had a very short, but robust response to Nardil. Have you already tried it?

I have recently added prazosin to my treatment regime with fair results. I also take Parnate, nortriptyline, Lamictal, lithium, and Abilify.

I have thought to try Rhodiola Rosia, but have had a few other things I wanted to try first. A poster here, Bleauberry, has been touting its antidepressant and anxiolytic properties for quite awhile. How much do you take? I would welcome an improvement in cognitive function. I'm sure you know how depression can destroy one's ability to read, learn, and remember. Low energy and cognitive impairments are what prevents me from working. My quality of life would still be limited by anhedonia and the lack of interest and motivation along with flat affect, but at least I would be out of the house and functioning in society.

Good luck in finding an effective treatment.

- Scott

Some see things as they are and ask why.I dream of things that never were and ask why not.