Monday, September 10, 2012

Breaking up is hard to do...

A close member of my family is experiencing the breakdown and end of a four year relationship. It's so hard to sit and watch this kind of thing happen and yet it reminds me of the post on grief that I wrote on August 24th, 2010.

What's important here is that he has a chance to grieve and is able to do it with the people he loves. I'm grieving too, it's a painful loss of a relationship that I cherished. But now I see how it's so much better to wade into his grief and give him permission to be sad.

I'm so proud that he's approaching this whole process with grace and maturity, not burning bridges, not allowing his anger to take over and even now he's starting to look ahead, if only one day at a time.

I'm so incredibly gratified that he's come to me to talk things out. I feel like it's been a long two year journey of losing that connection and that we've come full circle back to each other in an adult and enlightened way.

His grief has reminded me of the journey I've taken, of how far I've come and how wide is the horizon before me.

Perhaps the greatest gift is his knowing that he must first take care of himself before he can take care of another.

This is possibly the most valuable lesson I've learned in the last couple of years. Once I learned to love me and to take the time to really discover who and what I am then the people and experiences that I really need and want have made themselves evident. That honesty with myself has been hard and I know that what's ahead will be hard too but the feeling of wholeness is there.

Honesty with myself, honesty with others, asking for what I want, knowing that satisfaction only comes from being truly what I am.

And now he sees just a little what I'm talking about and knows that it's important for him too.

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About Me

I'm a 60 something Californian, born to orange groves but raised in the mountains, here my spirit and my heart soar. I spend my days hammering metal, exploring the wealth of fine food and wine in this area, and having excellent adventures on the mountain paths, ocean bluffs and river walks with my two Cardigan Welsh Corgi's, Dandy and Bode.