Teacher: It’s the fourth time you’re late for school this week
Johnny! Do you know what that means?!-Little Johnny: That it’s
Thursday, Miss Bramwell.

After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and
reminded them, “You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And
why is that?”

Little Johnny offers, "Miss, it’s so we wouldn’t wake
all those people sleeping."
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, “Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the
truth, do you say your prayers before eating?”Little Johnny smiles
proudly, “No Miss, there’s no need, my mom cooks really well.”
A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe
in the Devil?"

"No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. "It's just
like with Santa Claus. I know it's really my dad."
Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board:
“I didn’t had no fun for months.” Then she faces the class and says, “OK
class, how should this be corrected?”

Little Johnny says, “I think
you should get yourself a better man!”
I asked little Johnny, 'What would you like for your birthday?'-He
said, 'Tampons please.' -I said, 'Tampons!? Why do you want tampons
for your birthday!?'-He replied, 'I saw a great TV ad. With a tampon
you can go swimming, biking and skiing.'
Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his
mommy is not amused. She says, “Johnny, if I hear one more time ‘Mommy, I
want this, mommy, I want that’, you will be in big trouble! I don’t want to
hear the word mommy again tonight. Now off to bed you go!” There’s a short
pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of
water, please.”
The teacher was trying to put to use her recent psychology education.

She asked everyone in her class, "Alright, if any of you think you are
stupid, please stand up!"

"No, Miss, but I didn’t want to
leave you standing all alone!"
Teacher asks Little Johnny, “Johnny, how old is your father?”

“He’s
as old as me,” Johnny informs her.

“Now how would that be possible?”
inquires the surprised teacher.

“Well – he became father the day I
was born.”
Little Johnny is making faces at school. The teacher catches him at it and
says, “You know when I was little and made faces, my dad told me a secret.
And that is that when you keep making faces, your face finally can’t go back
and you end up really ugly.”

Little Johnny quiets and says, “Well, at
least you were warned…”
Teacher: “If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another
dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?”

Without
hesitation, Johnny answers, “Two dollars.”

Teacher isn’t happy,
“Come on, Johnny, you don’t know how to count.”

Johnny shrugs,
“Maybe, but I do know my dad!”
Teacher asks his class one day, “What would you like to be when you grow
up?”

Johnny answers first, saying, “I will follow in my father’s
footsteps and become a policeman.”

Teacher raises his eyebrows,
“Johnny, I didn’t know your father is a policeman.”

“Well, he
isn’t,” explains Johnny. “He’s a burglar.”
During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example
for the word ‘COINCIDENCE’?”

Little Johnny volunteers, "Sir, my mum
and dad were married on the same day."

Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: “Mom, I’ve got a great idea for an
invention!”Mom: “Cool, tell me.”

Johnny: “It’s a computerized
hair-cutting machine. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut
whatever hairstyle you wish.”

Mom: “But how would that work, Johnny?
People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!”