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Fight fire with fire

Nope! I'm going to fight fire with fire retardant chemicals! It's the reason we keep a fire extinguisher in our kitchen and not a fire retinguisher.

Sunlight is the best disinfectant

Nope again, Kal Penn! Sunlight might kill vampires, skin cells, and my will to live, but most bacteria and viruses are perfectly okay with the occasional-to-frequent tanning sesh. What you want is a solid filter, a decent dose of chlorine and/or ozone, and a good and hearty hour or so of UV irradiation.

Don't feed Gremlins after midnight

Yes, we've all seen, and based our wedding vows on, Carl Sagan's semi-autobiographical cinematic classic Gremlins. But that movie got more wrong than it did right. Feeding Gremlins after midnight is as fine and randy as John and Candy.