UPA issues list of topics that can be politicized

New Delhi. After repeated attempts by the opposition to politicize trivial issues like basic infrastructure, corruption, inflation, poor governance, terrorism, Chinese intrusions, etc., UPA has issued a comprehensive list of topics that can be politicized. UPA will have a political debate only on the topics mentioned in the list and will not be drawn into a debate on any other topic.

Speaking to the media, Mr. Manish Tewari said, “Opposition parties repeatedly try to take the focus away from the important points by politicizing unimportant and trivial issues. That is why we have issued this list detailing all the key issues facing modern day India. We will respond only when the opposition parties stick to these issues.”

Tewari also showed the range of intelligence that could be found in the ensuing debates

Mr. Tewari went on to add, “This is not a list that UPA came up with on its own. We have taken inputs from seasoned Indian economists and political analysts settled in USA, England, and Australia to prepare this list as they are well aware of the challenges facing India. It is only from their contribution that this list has been prepared.”

When we asked how those settled abroad know better about Indian problems, Mr. Tewari said, “See, when you are at a distance, it gives you a holistic view of things. You can appreciate the problem better. That is why even our dynamic leader Rahul Gandhi keeps going to Europe to help see Indian issues better.”

The comprehensive list of issues that can be politicized is published below. This is exclusively available on Faking news.

Color of clothes worn by a person

Facial hair of a person

Headgear of a person

Footwear of a person

Food eaten by a person

Caste of a person

Religion of a person

Marital status of a person

All the riots in the age of 24 X 7 news channels i.e. 2002 riots

All the fake encounters which took place between 14th June 2004 and 16th June 2004

Any issue raised by opposition apart from the ones mentioned above will be ridiculed and then ignored.