“I have listened to my complaints, and now we’re addressing them. This move will certainly please me.”

Weekly bin collections

Tax payers have welcomed the news, claiming that not having to be more efficient with their waste disposal will save them literally minutes each week.

One told us, “I know £250m could do a lot for health care in this country, but when you weigh that up against no longer having to crush empty cans, or squeeze the air out of plastic bottles it’s a no brainer.”

“And they’re doing something about speed limits on the motorways too? It’s as if the government has got a high-profile conference coming up or something.”

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