BrikWars Forums

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

Rolling her eyes, the TA set down her coffee cup and grabbed her pointer, once again annoyed at the fact that she had to USE a pointer and not a laser-dot for the class she was "teaching." As always, she had to bring the class to order, and college students or not, they annoyed the piss out of her. The first subject of her ire was, as always, Maxweth.

"For the last time, Maxweth, I don't care if you bring your stereo to class, just turn it off when class starts!"

"Miss Nazeria, cell phones away during class. Seriously, you're paying to be here. The least you could do is pay attention!"

"Ex-cuse me, miss? My parents are paying for my classes!"

Rolling her eyes at Reginald, who once again had come to class wearing his pajamas, the TA sighed. He always hid in the back corner of the classroom so he could catch a nap. "Fine. Anyone who doesn't have rich parents paying for their every whim should pay attention. Reginald can nap like he always does." "Damn straight!"

"Continuing where we left off on Galactic History, today's lecture is on the Menagerie of Julian..."

"Uh, miss?"

Crap, the TA thought, Buddy has a question already. Does that kid know anything? "Yes, Buddy?"

"Why is it called the Menagerie of Julian? That's a weird name..."

"Did you even do the assigned reading for this class?"

"Um, no, I was too busy trying to steal booze from my roommate..."

"Right. Forget I asked. Now, on to the lecture for the day."

"As you can see, the Galactic Sector is rather large, and split between a number of warring Empires or Countries. In the middle-ish of the Galactic map lies the planet known as the Menagerie of Julian. No questions! You can ask them when I'm done with this part, or we'll never get anywhere!"

"But once, several centuries ago, the territory now highlighted in white was controlled by the Galactic Brikzantine Imperium! Note that said territory covers much of known space, including much of what is now the Immortal's Empire, Trattorian territory, and so forth. Ruins of the Imperium can be found on worlds throughout this sector of space, and the most famous ruler of this Imperium was Julian the Apple-state. Julian was a master of tactical combat and diplomacy, and kept most of the fledgling nations at bay and each other's throats during his reign. The Imperium was at its peak during his rule, and many of the great ruins you see today were made by him. And yes, when I say made by him, I mean he ruined them. Alas, Julian's successors to the throne weren't so skilled, and less than two hundred years later, next to nothing remained of his Imperium. Torn apart by the very factions Julian used to bounce off of each other, only one core element remains: The Menagerie of Julian."

"Miss?"

"*SIGH* Yes, Miss Fluffyhair?"

"What the fuck is a menagerie?"

"It is an old word, meaning 'zoo' or 'collection.' As I was saying, the Menagerie was Julian's greatest creation. As his armies traveled about, expanding his Imperium, they came across and defeated countless inferior alien beings. Julian, in his wisdom, decided that keeping examples of them alive for future generations to scorn and gawk at was a must, so he designated the planet known as the Menagerie to be his zoo."

"Miss?"

"Yes... Buddy..."

"Why is this place so important if the Imper-whatsis is gone?"

"I'm glad you asked that! While the Imperium is gone, the Menagerie remains. Alongside the various alien beings that have been brought there over the years are groups of scientists that study their behavior. The Menagerie is, as a result, the only true 'neutral' zone in the entire Galactic Sector."

"Well, I say neutral, but in reality it is a massive battlezone. You see, it was on the Menagerie that the Dark Temptress known as the Nega-Blocktrix hatched a feindish plan! Her cultists..." *RING-ING-ING-ING-ING*"Nevermind, we'll pick this up next session... if I actually get to teach anything.."

"A pill person! They're harmless! My Great Aunt Lovelia has a bunch of them working for her on her farmstead! Three of them do gardening work for my grandmother! They wouldn't hurt a fly!"

"I... see... Reginald, I'm going to need you to stay after class for a bit please." *secretly pushes a button hidden in her pointer-stick* "As I was saying, at first everyone thought the Yelpilz were just another alien species that had been recolonized forcibly to the Menagerie."

"They seemed friendly and helpful, and depite not being able to speak any language known to Legonians, things went well. But one day an adventurer returned from deep inside the Core Zone with information that nobody expected."

"Far from being helpful, the Yelpilz were actually servants of the Negabloktrix! They have been enacting magical rituals inside the Core Zone, the purpose of which is currently unknown, but those studying the Zone have noticed that the area encompassed by it is slowly growing..."

Buddy: "Um, teacher? I heard that fancy guns and stuff don't work in the Core Zone."

"Point to you, Buddy! Correct! Something about the field that surrounds the Core Zone keeps anything more advanced than blackpowder firearms and basic steam-powered technology from functioning with the field! Beam swords become useless handles full of shiny wires! Firearms become unwieldy clubs! Cars... well, internal combustion just stops working. We don't know why. And that is why all of you are undergoing training in more pimitive weaponry. After all, since you signed on to be adventurers and explorers, you might as well know how to survive..."

Guard Captain: Good day, Miss Quirin. I'm guessing this gentleman is why you called for us?Goblin: Boss, I smell the Negatrix's influence on him...

Reginald: Wh-wh-what?!? You can't mean... I'm not... I...Captain: Now hold still. There's policy in place here. If there's even a suspicion of corruption, we have to take you in for questioning!

Reginald: This is an OUTRAGE! You can't handcuff me like a common criminal! My family will...Captain: Your family has been under investigation for Negablok corruption for years. They will do nothing.

Reginald(?): WEAK FOOLS! THIS WILL ONLY DELAY THE INEVITABLE! THE NEGABLOKTRIX WILL SOON CONQUER YOUR PUNY EMPIRE, AND THEN...Captain: Garrum? If you please?Goblin: Chains at the ready... F'talingar gruumush l'tin'sik dumar...

Reginald(?): BAH! YOUR PUNY MAGIC IS NO MATCH FOR ME!!!Captain: Any day now, Garum!Garum steps behind Reginald. There is a swing of his heavy mace, then the thump as cold iron connects with Reginald's skull...

Goblin: Whoof, he's a heavy one, boss!Garum: Yah, 'ee haz a fik skull, too! 'Ee dented my thumpin-stick! Heh! Nite-nite, sveethot!Captain: Are the enchanted chains holding?Goblin: At the moment, yes, but we better get him to a holding cell quickly.

TA: Thank you, Captain. He mentioned something about his Aunt having Yelpilz working on her estates. You'd better have someone look into it.Captain: His Aunt? Hmm, that would be Alabastra DeNacht, I believe. Can't do it, her estates are on a planet out of our jurisdiction. Trattorian, I believe. We'll have to contact the A.N. and pass the information on to them. Meanwhile, thank you again for contacting us. The more of these secret cultists we can round up before they hit planetside, the better off everyone is.TA: Agreed...

What qualifies as part of the negabloxtrik, or is everything megablox part of it?

That is actually a very good question. Anyone else want to field that? I assume everything Megablox, but I didn't make the canon for this. Doesn't stop me from using the Min... er... Yelpilz as Negabloxtrik cultist-minor daemons though.