I watch a lot of football on television. I'm appalled by the antics of the guys after they score touchdowns, intercept passes and make tackles, all of which are part of their required jobs.

I played grade school and high school football. While not good enough to play at the collegiate level, I did play on college intramural flag football teams in Michigan and Texas, both rabid football states. I also played in the Flint City Flag Football League after college. I even played one season at Robb Field in Ocean Beach after arriving in California. I have a great love of, and respect for, the game.

What I see in pro football makes me grind my teeth in anger. I didn't like it when San Diego icon Junior Seau performed his histrionic gyrations after being the second guy to pile on after a tackle, giving the television audience the impression he made the tackle.

Other San Diegans continued to deify Seau, possibly because he is home grown and he's good to disadvantaged kids. I thought his waving and jumping was unnecessary.

I would cringe when Shawn Merriman would do his "lights out" dance after a routine tackle. When the egomaniac linebacker got in trouble with that third-rate stripper, or whatever she was, I wrote to the local daily that Merriman should change his nickname to "Lights On-Nobody's Home." Surprisingly, they printed the letter.

If my teammates or I would have done anything resembling those celebrations back at Flint St. Agnes, we would have watched the rest of the game from the bench. That kind of conduct is classless.

I often wondered what it would be like if after a court victory, cops and prosecutors acted like the football players. When the court clerk read the guilty verdict the prosecutor and cop would stand up, bump chests and parade around the table, high fiving one another, pointing at the gallery and doing all the other things that football players do. That would be a tragedy.

It would be really funny if the cop would do the "Lambeau leap" into the jury box. (If you don't know what the leap is, don't worry. If you do, I bet you're laughing.)

Even defense attorneys don't act up if they happen to get an acquittal for their clients. Maybe some defendants get a little exuberant if they're found not guilty, but they don't do much. Most judges would instruct their bailiffs to eject the celebrators from the courtroom or lock them back up for contempt.

The most I ever did in the way of showboating in court is to surreptitiously wink at a defendant I held special animosity toward (carefully making sure the jury couldn't see me) when I stepped down from the witness stand after his attorney didn't lay a glove on me during a lengthy cross examination. My silent message to the crook was, "We got you. You're on your way to prison."

I wish the offending football players would read my column and change their conduct. If they can read, that is.