MY ROOMMATE IS LAZY BASTARD!

Yes, I'm shouting, and I'll take the negs. My roommate Todd McAllister is the laziest Bastard of all time. He hasn't moved from the couch in more than a week, ever since the Olympics started. How about doing some dishes, Todd?!

My other roommate, Jim Collins, is just about as lazy, but at least he got a job at Cinnabon.

These losers watch TV 16-17 hours per day (and still manage to find a way to surf Mgoblog for a few hours per day). I'm so sick of them and hope to be there when they get evicted for not paying their end of the rent.

So now that I'm done freaking out, I've been the only one out of the house since the Olympics started. Time to find new roommates. Anyone looking for a place on Michigan Ave?

EDIT: A big thanks to all of the Mgoblog community for the support. I actually just realized that I'm married and haven't lived with those guys for 9 years. I appreciate you being there for me during that flashback.

Did you realize that if you combined your roommates into one person, you would be rooming with Todd Collins? Look on the bright side. That's sweet! How can Todd Collins be that lazy? He was the starting QB at Michigan and played in the NFL.

I'd have given my left nut to room with Todd Collins back when I was 12 and he was the starting quarterback at Michigan. Just for the record.

Okay, that's gross. Though if Todd Collins had asked me to trim his nipple hairs for him when I was 12, I probably would have done it. LOL

Oh, and all these stories about peoples' lazy roommates make me think that some of these people may have clinical depression. If so, mocking them on a board like this is kinda mean. Though, you probably wouldn't have posted this if that were possibly the case.

Back when I shared a place with 4 other guys, we had a roommate who would head out each 'morning' (about 1:00P) for a few cigarettes, then hit up 2-3 microwave burritos. After that, the couch was a dead zone...

The completely PA move I pulled when that happened to me was to take 1 of each thing and just store it somewhere in my room, and clean it after I was done eating myself. That way, you always have something clean and don't end up doing 15x the dishes you would normally do.

Until you walk out of the house at 6:30 on a Tuesday morning because you actually have places to be, and you find your roommate laying on the porch couch (right where he was last night) polishing off a 40, you don't have lazy alcoholic roommates.

But as far as these particular couch-sprawling gentlemen are concerned, it sounds like this post is specifically designed to find its way to the eyes of said lazy roommates, in which case you totally win the Passive-Aggressive Poster of the Month Award.

I had one who was on the U of M cycling club. He would set up his bike and rollers in the middle of the living room to "train." Seems innocent enough until you imagine the perspiration dripping on to the carpeted floor.

That's not the worst of it though. One day I came back to the apartment and he was crashed out on the couch wearing one of my flannel shirts.