Elizabeth Davies: Planning is the key to holiday shopping

Wednesday

Nov 28, 2007 at 12:01 AMNov 28, 2007 at 5:38 AM

Journalists, they say, know a little about a lot. I’m sure some would argue that journalists actually know very little about very little. These are the people who call us with a superior gloat in their voices whenever we — gasp! — forget a comma or misuse a word.

Elizabeth Davies

Journalists, they say, know a little about a lot.

I’m sure some would argue that journalists actually know very little about very little. These are the people who call us with a superior gloat in their voices whenever we — gasp! — forget a comma or misuse a word.

(Never mind that factories routinely churn out rejects, that plumbers sometimes screw up and that doctors have actually been known to cut off the wrong appendage. But newspapers, produced in an 18-hour rush, seem to be held to a higher standard.)

The fact of the matter is: I’m one of those who knows a little about a lot. It makes me a fairly interesting conversationalist at a cocktail party, but doesn’t seem particularly useful beyond that.

I am, however, a tried-and-true expert on one thing. Much to my husband’s chagrin, I know a lot about shopping.

Perhaps I would be better off knowing a lot about politics, or international trade, or breast cancer research. Maybe those things would better serve humankind on a year-round basis.

But, as the old saying goes, you have to bloom where you’re planted. And it appears I have been planted in a shopping mall, so that’s where I can help humanity.

If it seems mundane or flighty to put my efforts into something as frivolous as personal commerce, you clearly haven’t headed out for your first round of Christmas shopping quite yet. If you had, you would know that holiday shopping is neither art nor science — it’s a sport that tests even the most trained athlete. No triathlon, boxing match or Olympic event quite requires the fortitude, determination and endurance one needs to survive the December shopping crowd.

There are a few schools of thought when it comes to Christmas shopping:
1) Start in January, when everything is on clearance, and shop year-round. You’ll be gift-wrapped and ready to go by Halloween.

2) Collect your family’s wish lists at Thanksgiving, and spend the subsequent few weeks scouring the Sunday ads for the best prices.

3) Head to the mall with no idea what you’re looking for, but confident that you will emerge with gifts for everyone. (Note: Shoppers who take this route need to bring along a bottle of Excedrin and a gallon of water. Stop for frequent snacks and the occasional nap in order to keep your energy up or risk buying one of those stupid Santa sweaters that will inevitably be returned.)

4) The choice of men everywhere: Ignore all thoughts of shopping until Dec. 23, at which time you head to the mall to see what might still be hanging on the sales rack in your wife’s size.

My inner shopper says that Shopper No. 1 — the January browser — is the smartest. But I’ve never been able to bring myself to do that, because it seems to take some of the fun out of the holidays. I mean, it just wouldn’t be Christmas without sweat pouring down my face and a jackhammer working overtime in my head.

And so each year, I float between Strategies 2 and 3. I arrive at the mall with a list in hand and a mission in mind. But I get a whiff of that sweet smell of commerce and my plan gets fuzzy. Suddenly, I see a flame and remember that my sister-in-law likes Yankee Candles. I walk past Bath & Body Works and think of my mom’s half-empty bottle of Sheer Freesia.

More often than not, I wind up buying more than I planned: The drying racks my sister-in-law asked for, plus the Yankee Candle. A trinket for my mom, plus half the Bath & Body Works store.

I know that, at the end of the day, it’s not the gift that counts but the thought. It’s the idea that I spent time thinking about my loved ones and trying to bring them a slice of happiness.

Might not be cancer research, but for a moment in time, it just might bring a little peace on Earth.

Elizabeth Davies’ column runs Thursdays in the People section of the Rockford Register Star.