DUmmie FUnnies

A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Pied Piper Pitt Returns...sort of

(Less than two weeks to go until a BIG webcast. Be there. Aloha!)

William Rivers Pitt has RETURNED to DUmmieland! At least he has come back second hand, not in person. What happened is that DUmmie sfexpat2000 posted an overlong Pitt TruthOut RANT which she mercifully edited down in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Will Pitt: Burning the Law in a Riot of Treason." In his article, Pied Piper Pitt predictably slams Alberto Gonzales for his supposed failings. Of course, Pitt has never directly addressed his SUPREME failing of perpetuating a gigantic journalistic hoax from TruthOut itself, namely the May 12, 2006 indictment of Karl Rove. Yes, Pitt, while you are tossing stones at Gonzales, why don't you tell us how you tried to fake your way to fame by "predicting" the Rove indictment. You thought that indictment was a sure thing so you sought a cheap way to make yourself a celeb by "predicting" the indictment so you could get credit for it. Of course, your in-depth investigation was backed up by one Jason Leopold, a self-confessed drug addict and degenerate known for engaging in journalistic hoaxes long before the Rove indictment fraud. So now that the 24 business hours has passed and no Rove indictment, you find yourself exiled from any possibility of being the political player you so desperately want to be. NO campaign is going to hire somebody that has a known history of not only fraud but somebody who stabs his own candidate in the back as you did while the press secretary for Dennis Kucinich and got caught secretly feeding campaign documents to the Kerry people in order to ingratiate yourself with a candidate you figured would be the nominee in 2004. So let us now watch Pied Piper Pitt get up on his moral high horse to condemn Gonzales in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that even the Gravel campaign shuns Pitt, is in the [brackets]:

Burning the Law in a Riot of Treason

[Burning Ethics in a Riot of Self-promotion.]

The departure of Alberto Gonzales from the Attorney General's Office brings America to a place of definitions, and hanging in the balance is the very idea of the nation itself. The basic concepts and fundamental principles of our republic now stand as the only legitimate considerations going forward, for they have been tested almost to annihilation already, and will not endure much longer if we continue on this path.

[Glad to see you haven't lost your touch for bloated pomposity, Pitt.]

It is the mythology within the Declaration of Independence we speak of, the fiction that tells us we are endowed with rights, and that those rights are unalienable. This falsehood has been vividly exposed in the last several years, and it has been a harsh lesson indeed. All the rights we hold dear and believe to be our greatest strength are, in fact, only words on old paper with neither force nor power. The next line - "That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed" - is the muscle behind the myth, the core that has endured a withering assault.

[Withering assault like what happened in a certain Newton schoolyard?]

Matters are so much worse than our national political dialogue lets on. The resignation of Gonzales has unleashed a torrent of hard words and harsh criticisms aimed at the deplorable nature of his tenure, but the truth of it continues to elude mention. They call Gonzales an incompetent, a crony, a loyalist, a disgrace, leaving off the one word necessary to fully explain who he is, and what he was engaged in before he stepped down.

[Did they also call Gonzales a self-serving journalistic fraud?]

Alberto Gonzales is a traitor. That is the only word to explain it.

[William Rivers Pitt is a fraud. That is the only word to explain it. And now on to the DUmmie response to Pitt's non-return to DUmmieland.]

He sure is a traitor. Will nails it.

[Will nailed it in Newton.]

he he...I knew Will would have to write on Gonzo's departure... I think this is his first Truthout piece in a month or more.... Kudos, William...

[Will has been in self-exile from DUmmieland, TruthOut, and possibly the law.]

Come Back Will. Please. I have been away for a few days, so if Will Pitt has already come back, then I'm sorry for posting this. But if Will has not come back, then PLEASE come back to DU soon, Will. Seeing your lovely words is wonderful. But many of us enjoy dialoguing with you -- and seeing others dialogue with you. We love you, Wiil. Please -- PLEASE -- come back.

[That rare combination of self-important pomposity, unintentional humor, and ever-present self-promotion to absolutely NO effect. Well, folks, sorry about the unusual brevity of this DUFU edition but it now appears that Pitt's "return" to DUmmieland has generated little interest, even there.]

Friday, August 24, 2007

"Chavez puts Venezuela's clock ahead 1/2 hour"

(Something big will be happening on the Web in September. Will the Great Pumpkin be arriving? Stand by!)

It was like a scene out of that Woody Allen comedy, Bananas, when the rebel leader, Esposito, upon assuming power in San Marcos declared: "All citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check." In an act very much like Esposito, the head thug of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez has declared that all clocks will be set ahead by a half hour (would that change the underwear time checks?). I used to visit Indianapolis every May for years to go to the Indy 500 before Tony George ruined it. The most ANNOYING thing about Indiana is their stubborn refusal, in contrast to most of the rest of the nation, to recognize Daylight Savings Time. It gets incredibly confusing when trying to figure out what time to watch TV shows because even though Indiana is in the Eastern Time Zone, it is an hour out of whack for most of the year. Even more confusing is that several Indiana counties are on Daylight Savings Time (or are they on Central Time?) However, as confusing as the Indiana time situation is, it doesn't even begin to compare to what will happen in Venezuela when the clocks are shifted forward a half hour. An hour shift forward might make some sense although the time of daylight in the tropics does not vary much during the year but a half hour? Imagine telling someone in Venezuela you will be flying down to Caracas and will arrive at 3 PM. The person will always show up late (or is it early?) because 3 P.M. will mean 3:30 PM down there thanks to Chavez making his country look like a laughingstock in relation to time shifting. Why not just set the clocks forward 44 minutes? It makes about much sense as a half hour. Hey, I have an idea, Hugo! Make a declaration that from now on the color blue will be green. Such is his absurdity but, guess what, there are actually DUmmies buying into the Chavez bizarre time shift as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Chavez puts Venezuela's clock ahead 1/2 hour." This isn't the first aburd declaration by Chavez. In 1999 he changed the official name of Venezuela to the "Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela." He also changed the direction a horse looked on the official seal of Venezuela or something like that. What next? Declare Swedish as the official language of that country? In any event let us watch the DUmmies as they ponder the latest Chavez absurdity in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, declaring that the law of gravity no longer applies in Slovakia except on Wednesdays, is in the [brackets]:

Chavez puts Venezuela's clock ahead 1/2 hour

[But only on even-numbered days.]

CARACAS, Venezuela (AFP): President Hugo Chavez Sunday announced that Venezuela's official time will be put ahead by half an hour starting January 1

Makes no sense to me

[Sure it makes sense. That means your underwear change will be delayed by a half hour.]

Hmmmm That is interesting.... I wonder why he is doing this?

[It is a prelude to him declaring that mangos will be called bananas in Venezuela.]

Not buying it.... What is the real reason? There has to be an absolute reason!

[It's to prove that he has freed Venezuela from the shackles of being tied to the same time system as that EVIL George Bush.]

...also, all children under the age of 16 jeers old ... are now 16 jeers old. And from now on, everybody has to change underwear every hour ... and underwear will be worn on the outside, so we can check. -- Woody Allen, before he got serious

[Woody Allen movies were HILARIOUS before he decided that he really wanted to be Ingmar Bergman.]

The man is a genius, notice how much he is doing for the people of ...Venezuala after kicking the goddamn Yankee Corporate Imperialists and CIA operatives out! Chevez will go on and build alliances with other Latin American and South American countries as well as in the Caribbean Island nations as well. It won't be long that we'll see an economic giant rising up in that region and the next U.S. president will either have to accept and deal with this as equal partners in this hemisphere or be shut out.

[Genius, pure genius. And now it is time for your underwear check. Oh wait! Good news! Since Chavez has set the clocks forward a half hour, no underwear check for you for another 30 minutes. GENIUS!!!]

Pass the bong dude

[Sorry, dude, you'll have to wait another half hour according to the new time system.]

Nah, he's just a shmuck and this proves it.

[When the clock strikes thirteen and a half, you will be receiving a Kewpie Doll.]

Well would you like to explain your post? Probably not, cause you are one of the.. Non believers of President Chavez.

[An heretical atheist who does not believe in the One True Hugo.]

Believers of President Chavez? Will he take away all my sins? So I can't call a man a shmuck without it being blasphemy? And moving the clocks a half an hour is going to do what exactly?

[It means we can send the DUmmies to the FUnnie Farm a half hour earlier than originally scheduled.]

Same thing it does here... the daylight savings thing.

[We move the clocks forward by a HALF hour every year?]

I set my watch ahead all the time so I can get places on time.Makes sense to me.

[Eastern DUmmie Time.]

Chavez has jumped the shark.

[Chavez jumped the shark a half hour ago.]

I'd love to go there..their time would be right in time with me and I could see those Angel Falls!

[Unfortunately I might have to go on Hugo DUmmie Time this December for a couple of weeks. My wife is insistent that I go with her to visit her family down there. I don't mind meeting the in-laws but I'm not crazy about entering Hugo World.]

Personally, I don't see it as a big deal. I doubt it will have much benefit, but on the other hand who does it harm?

[How about the ENTIRE Venezuelan economy? How can businesses (before they get nationalized) down there deal with foreign companies when they have to fight the confusion of always being a half hour out of sync?]

I Believe He Was Inspired by Newfoundland

[They wear their underwear on the outside up there?]

It'll put Venezuela 30 minutes ahead of the Eastern US (currently the same time zone) ...and that's probably his sole motivation.

[Now Hugo can get the satisfaction of celebrating the New Year a half hour ahead of that sulphurous George Bush.]

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

KOmmies Outraged At Hillary For Claiming Surge Is Working

As soon as I heard last night that Hillary Clinton had (sort of)stated the obvious truth that the surge is WORKING, I knew the leftwing blogosphere would go into an uproar as a result as you can see in this KOmmie THREAD titled, "HRC sez surge working." The Democrats went way out on the limb by claiming defeat in Iraq was inevitable only to see that defeatist limb sawed off by the success of the surge. Right now Hillary is trying to triangulate her way back to the tree but it seems not to be working this time. She has apparently triangulated her way into the ire of the Left and it is FUn to watch. So let us now enjoy the spectacle of the Left slamming Hillary for her admission of surge success in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, not wishing for any closeup views of Hillary's triangulation, is in the [brackets]:

HRC sez surge working

[Read it and weep, KOmmies. Your INEVITABLE nominee for president is stating the obvious truth in the midst of her desperate triangulation.]

I'm a vet of the 04 primary wars and have since abstained from such activity here. And I'm willing to give any of the candidates the benefit of the doubt and watch as the campaign unfolds. But statements like these really give me pause about Hillary Clinton:

[GASP! You...you mean Hillary might be an OPPORTUNIST???]

New military tactics in Iraq are working but the best way to honor U.S. soldiers is "by beginning to bring them home," Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton told war veterans Monday.

[This is like saying that the Normandy invasion worked so let's bring the troops home right now before they can capture Paris.]

Is this the infamous triangulation at work?

[Yup! Hillary knows she has the Democrat nomination wrapped up but now has to triangulate for the voters in the general election. And now to hear the KOmmie outrage...]

Hillary's a warmonger. She gets off on all the killing, just like Republicans do. There are things to like about Hillary. She's better than any Republican. But her bloodlust just crosses too important a line for me to support her.

[Another voter for Nader '08.]

I think it's more political opportunism than genuine bloodlust. Remember the movie "The Third Man"? There's a scene where Jospeh Cotten is with Orson Welles on the Ferris wheel and Cotten asks Welles why he sold tainted medicine (whoch killed some children) on the black market and Welles replied "For the money." That's Hillary, it's all "for the votes".

[Hillary Lime.]

But she has this need to appear Thatcherlike and strong so that no one can accuse her of being a wussie Democratic peacenik.

[As opposed to a manipulative triangulator.]

She does want the Jewish vote and she does want the anti war vote and she does want those who believe in war and fighting, just not more of the same in Iraq. So she is juggling a few balls in the air on this one.

[Including her own.]

That anyone who voted to authorize this war is too stupid, cynical, or malicious to deserve to ever be elected to any public office ever again.

[You just eliminated Hillary and the Pink Sapphire.]

I'm preemptively sick to my stomach at the thought of defending H.Clinton's views, as a grassroots volunteer for the Democratic Party. And these are the views she's expressing NOW, before the famous "move to the right" for the General election.

[Preemptive nausea on the part of a KOmmie at the thought that Hillary will be his nominee.]

Yeah I know if she gets the nomination, we know the drill. We will vote for her. But in the meantime, I wish to hell she would just speak clearly and come out against this stupid war without "on the one hand, but on the other hand"

[IOW, you don't like Hillary's hand jobs?]

Al Gore, please jump in and save us from this phony

[When Algore straps on his prosthetic crotch enhancer, you'll know he is ready to run.]

Well, this isn't the whole speech. She also said the best way to honor the troops is to bring them home.

[Triangulation: Having it both ways at once.]

She has put up with a philandering lothario of a husband because he suits her lifestyle and ambitions. So she has learned to compromise, deny, and focus on the gray areas. Why are we surprised. I voted for Kerry because I bought the he looks so presidential after Georgie boy who couldn't even say his own name straight out. Then Kerry began to trip over his own tongue. If you tell the truth you don't have to have a good memory so you don't have to dissemble. You may make mistakes and that is what I think Edwards did. He just didn't have it in him to say no no no. But why didn't he? Why this need to be liked so much, to please everyone? Well personally I know that it catches more flies than vinegar.

[I know something that attracts a lot of flies.]

Remember the '04 convention, when the Party stalwarts coalesced around Kerry, even though he carried the most baggage of any candidate.. Conventional wisdom, like all other talk, is cheap, yet it has cost our country dearly, and id hillary is the nominee, it will cost us our souls.

[Monsters from the Hillary id... Like you, the Krell forgot one deadly danger..their own subconscious hate and lust for destruction. The beast. The mindless primitive.]

Monday, August 20, 2007

"GENERAL STRIKE 9/11/2007, NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, HIT THE STREETS!"

The DUmmies are caught between Iraq and a hard place. The Surge is working. Rove will not be frogmarched. Dems in Congress fold like a Murphy bed. Hillary's nomination is inevitable. Chimpeachment is a non-starter. And the clock is ticking. Thus the DUmmies' frustration is palpable. What to do with all their rage and fury? Strike out! Spring into action! Or INaction, as the case may be. Which would suit the DUmmie slacktivists better anyway. The latest plan of action is to do nothing--absolutely nothing productive, all together, on the same day, as revealed in this THREAD, "GENERAL STRIKE 9/11/2007, NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, HIT THE STREETS!" Yes, DUmmie Activists are GO! DUAC! DUAC! So let us watch the DUACos plan to do nothing in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

GENERAL STRIKE 9/11/2007, NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, HIT THE STREETS!

[The Day When Everything Finally Changed! Again. For the 47th time.]

I THINK IT'S GOING VIRAL

[That could just be your herpes acting up.]

The General Strike is a national call to action, from citizens to other citizens. It is not about a single issue. It is not an anti-war protest, a civil rights protest, an election fraud protest. It is not about torture, surveillance, corporate media, the 9/11 coverup, or the environment. This strike is about all these issues and more.

[It's about EVERYTHING! Or nothing. Or something. A General Strike for General Frustration!]

[Horrors! Imagine, invoking patriotism on a day when our nation was attacked! Even the calendar companies are under the control of Bushco!]

Fortunately, it is not marked Patriot Day on my Greenpeace calendar.

[Yet.]

I'm retired, but I'll take to the streets.

[After all, what else do you have to do? And, hey, it'll be like the '60s all over again!]

Who's gonna compensate me for lost wages? F*** that. I need every hour on the job to pay rent.

[The spirit of self-sacrifice . . . well, somebody else can have the spirit of self-sacrifice. Mom doesn't let me live down here in the basement for free, you know.]

So,what if it REALLY came down to your country or yourself? Which would you choose?

[Is this a trick question?]

How DARE you insult this person who is clearly not in good financial condition at all by implying they're a bad person by not taking off a day to march in protest for god knows what which will accomplish precisely nothing. If you would step out of your bubble briefly, there are 300 million people in the united states and i doubt if even 0.5% of them will "PARTICIPATE IN A GENERAL STRIKE AND WE COULD ALL TELL THEM TO GO F*** THEMSELVES!". You're saying this person should lose a day's pay and put themselves in dire financial condition so he could be part of what will most likely be a footnote in the middle of a newscast and an event for bloggers to pleasure themselves over. Not everyone has the ability to ignore life and go protest. When a general strike is being called that will actually accomplish something, give me a call.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

How dare us? How dare you! Who the hell are you to throw water on this action? As far as I know this is the first massive effort to have a General Strike and if you were to Google General Strikes you'd see the immediate positive effect they can have. Even if only 5% take part it would have an effect and could grow from there. Other General Strikes like boycotting everything GE sells would also send a message.

[Not One D*mn DUmmie Day!]

Look, nothing else is working, they're not listening to our votes. They're not listening to our letters, phone calls or emails. The only thing we have left is our ability to bring this country to a standstill for just one day. And you want to poo-poo it.

[Look, this won't work either. But it will make us feel good.]

Did you even read my post? I have not heard ANYTHING about this strike other than on here. Even if only 5% take part? You'll be lucky to get 1%! . . . Leave your internet bubble and go out in the real world and talk to people. It takes more than a fraction of the liberal blogosphere to hold a general strike with any meaning.

[OK, DUmmie slick8790, maybe you're not a Lousy Freeper Troll. In that case, I hereby award you a Kewpie Doll for a brief moment of mental clarity.]

yeah, and when a few hundred people join your general strike, all will be better. The minimum wage will go up to $20/hour, free healthcare will be made available to all, and unicorns will roam the great plains.

[I sense a note of sarcasm here.]

I will be marching somewhere somehow on that day at some time.

[Synchronize your watches.]

For those who can't take a day off, there should be a set hour or two that they can leave work?

[How about a Five-Minute Strike during coffee break?}

I'm in! LET'S TAKE THIS BIG. EVERYBODY! Email it, blog it, tell everyone you know to take the day off. Tell them to tell everyone they know. LET'S SHOW 'EM WHO'S BOSS!

[Speak truth to power, baby! Tell it to THE MAN!! DUmmie Activists are GO!!!]

You have my support. Maybe I'll just be lazy and worthless that day! Kind of be there, but not be there, ya know?

we need to have a 12:00 chant - rolling from time zone to time zone, of course: We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it any more!

[I volunteer Keith Olbermann to do his Howard Beale impression.]

I would do it, But I can't choose my time. My lunch is when it is.

[Somewhere Gandhi is spinning in his grave.]

I don't work or go to school anyway. . . .

[General Strike as way of life.]

Is there any sort of national registry for this?

[Yes, call 1-800-DUM-IDEA. Operators are standing by.]

Just one hour of no Internet access would freak out every major company. Let them see what it feels like not to be heard and be ignored. . . . Just one hour and it would be all over the news. Every screen connecting to the most terrifying of all messages "you have lost your freedom, we control what you see and hear", or just the date 1984 in huge letters.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Leftwing Loons Mourn Jose Padilla Conviction

Oh, what a great injustice! A martyr has been sacrificed on the altar of the fascistic Bush Regime. As all good progressives know, Jose Padilla could not have aided Islamic terrorists because they simply do not exist. The War on Terrorism is just a bumper sticker slogan. No terrorists exist EXCEPT for the U.S. government which, as all good 9/11 Truthers know, was behind the events of that day. Those passenger jets flying into the Twin Towers? Ha! You really believe the propaganda that they caused the destruction? As that world famous metallurgist, Rosie O'Donnell, has told us, fire can NOT melt steel. Therefore the destruction had to have been caused by a perfectly timed controlled demolition in which a vast array of government operatives, none of whom has yet made a peep about the plot, set the charges throughout the buildings. It happened. At least it happened according to the Gospel of Rosie and MILLIONS of other leftwing Truthers who have come to dominate the Left. Therefore is it any wonder that those same leftwing loons consider the conviction of Jose Padilla a grave injustice? I have tracked not one, not two, not three, but FOUR (and growing) threads in both DUmmieland and KOmmieland dedicated to decrying the conviction of Padilla. In DUmmieland we have PADILLA VERDICT GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS, Verdict reached in Padilla terror case, and U.S. citizen Jose Padilla convicted of federal terrorism support charges. In KOmmieland we chronicle the saga of martyr Padilla in Verdict Reached in Padilla Case [Update: GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS]. So let us now watch the Left enter Jose Padilla into the pantheon of Sacco and Vanzetti in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who several times ate at the Taco Bell where Padilla once worked here in Broward County, is in the [brackets]:

PADILLA VERDICT GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS

[FRAMED BY THE EVIL BUSH REGIME!!!]

Horrible. Absolutely horrible. I'm ashamed of our country.

[I mourn for a country so evil as to imprison terrorists. For shame!]

Florida justice rapes us once again.

[Is that you smiling, Ben Burch?]

I hate these people. WE HAVE TO FIGHT THIS.

[This DUmmie means the EVIL Bush Regime, not the Islamic terrorists.]

Yeah, this is what JUSTICE has been reduced to in Bush's 'Merika.

[Meanwhile you cheered the Libby perjury charge rap in the non-crime of the Valery Plame name leak.]

So now Bush can declare any American citizen as an enemy combatant and lock them up without charges, because America is no longer the "home of the brave", more like the home of the cowering masses.

[Take the "m" off the "masses" for a self-description of the DUmmies.]

We are all Muslims to the Bush Administration.

[Burka! Burka!]

Is there a summary somewhere that shows his innocence?

[Quit asking relevant questions! And now to jump to the next DUmmie thread...]

Verdict reached in Padilla terror case

[As the DUmmies continue to wait for the Guilty verdict at The Hague for Bush.]

Let us hope the jury saw this horror for what it was. Not guilty. May the government be sued for millions by the family.

[This DUmmie was still waiting for the verdict which he desperately hoped would be Not Guilty. Hee! Hee!]

so you know him personally? Or did you work at the Taco Bell with him

[I didn't know Padilla but I ate at the Taco Bell where he worked. At the Tower Shops, just south of I-95 on University. BTW, just across the street from that Taco Bell, where there is a condo development, I once knew a hot Venezuelan chick who desperately wanted to marry Yours Truly but I saved my sacred purity for another hot Venezuelan.]

If the verdict is Not Guilty, it will be very bad for Mr. Bush.

[And if the verdict is GUILTY, it will be MISERY for the DUmmies. Hee! Hee!]

Guilty. Shit.

[Freudenschade, baby!]

The verdict was a given. they just had to find 12 kangaroos.

[Sniff! Kangaroo court justice in 'Merica. We need to submit all such cases to The Hague for impartial justice.]

The Neonazicon spin will be that they were right all along, and the verdict proved it.

[We were right all along and the verdict proved it.]

These folks are victims of the phony "war on terror"

[Is that you, John Edwards? And now on to the final DUmmie thread...]

U.S. citizen Jose Padilla convicted of federal terrorism support charges

[In a Kangaroo court full of Bushistas.]

appeal, Appeal, APPEAL!

[How about if we appeal your sanity?]

I'm seething right now... Imprisoned without charge for 3.5 years, physically and/or psychologically tortured 'til he's half-insane, and what do we do? Convict him anyway. Now he'll face the needle.

[I just love needling DUmmies.]

Did anyone notice the banner on cnn's site? It went up the moment the verdict was to come in, and it's HUGE; Jenna Bush is engaged. Divert! Divert!

[Ah! The well-oiled Bush propaganda machine. All is going according to plan.]

I feel sick. We have a fascist police state where the dictator can declare you an enemy combatant, detain you, torture you and then you are still found guilty where they put you away for life. Wow....welcome to Amerika!

[Welcome to your friendly Wal-Mart detention center!]

Anyone who disents against the government is at risk.

[Of being sent to Wal-Mart.]

This is MURDER. Murder! These people must be held criminally accountable for their actions! Dems, I'm looking at you.

[So what's the temperature like in the RUbber Room? And now on to the media darlings, the KOmmies, who prove themselves to be every bit as loony as the DUmmies...]

Verdict Reached in Padilla Case [Update: GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS]

[Break out the mourning cloths!]

Members of the executive branch truly are above the law. The divine right of kings applies more than the Constitution does at this point. And the press parades on.

[Huh? You mean Padilla was found guilty by executive decree? Silly me. I actually thought there was a trial involved here.]

THEY DROVE HIM INSANE deliberately.

[And what was your excuse?]

If I remember correctly, the trial judge excluded evidence that Padilla was tortured because it was irrelevant to the charges and prejudicial to the government.

[The trial judge threw out all evidence that Padilla was tortured by air conditioning set at a freezing 69 degrees.]

Who else an insane person would sign up to strap a bomb to their belly and commit suicide for the promise of 72 virgins? Have you ever had 72 of anything? Don't you get bored with it after 9 or 10? Who needs 72 of anything?

[I'm sorry but 9 or 10 potato chips just do not do it for me. I need 72 of them.]

welcome to the Amerikan-neocon Reich......and let this be a lesson to all who still have faith in the rights guaranteed by the U.S. constitution. Dissenters will not be tolerated !!!!

[Please report to your local Wal-Mart detention center right away. Thank you and have a good day.]

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMND. guilty on all counts. F*CK YOU, DOJ

[Having a bad hair day?]

The republican party is a much bigger threat to America than any terrorist organization-or any one person-ever could be.

[How dare you post this! Don't you know you have to spell it "Amerika?"]

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

"How many DUers have started meds since becoming a member of the community??"

Among the most popular of the DUFU editions have been those about meds. Specifically DUmmies talking (bragging) about the many meds upon which they are absolutely dependent. In fact, to read these DUmmie Meds threads, you would think that meds are as vital to DUmmies as food and water. Come to think of it, most DUmmies would rather mainline meds than eat a filet mignon. In the spirit of drug dependency we now have this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Just Curious...How many DUers have started meds since becoming a member of the community??" So let us now watch the DUmmies pop their pills in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, popping nothing more powerful than an aspirin to make it through this thread, is in the [brackets]:

Just Curious...How many DUers have started meds since becoming a member of the community??

[If they weren't druggies to begin with, by now they are on their way to OD City.]

I am just wondering. I have been here for a few years now. Sometimes I just get so depressed. I feel so hopeless. Really, I can't count the times I have been so shocked by the events that have taken place in this country and abroad by the mob in DC.

[I think you're going to have to drop some heavy duty acid after Election Day 2008.]

The victories we have experienced, seem so short lived. Only to be followed by more assaults on our democracy.

[We like to call this phenomenom Freudenschade, baby!]

OK...so Rove is going back to Texas. Hard to get excited about that on the heals of the new FISA legislation. I hate the turd as much as anyone but that wasn't even enough to arouse me after the last ass kicking.

[You are now entering the Sedation Zone.]

I am on Effexor XR now. Been on everything else before this new try.

[Effexor XR for a DUmmie on his way to the ER.]

My own life is in just as much peril as our country's.

[Tonight on CBS Evening News: America on Effexor XR!!!]

I. Don't. Feel. Good.

[Don't . Worry. Feel. Happy.]

ativan-I tried zoloft but couldn't....cum

[Try zaftig and you will still have same problem.]

I love ATIVAN tis my drug of choice!!!!!!

[ATIVAN for DUmmies who think young!!!!!!!]

ativan helps me maintain some normalcy

[Sorry about that ativan failure.]

Just told my doc I won't take Effexor. Hang in there, this place is as good for support as it is for doom.

[Holding out for Lithium?]

Love the DU mood swings like a roller coaster. THIS is the GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH TO VENT!!!

[Uppers and Downers! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!]

rAmen! This is my only real refuge, I live in red state hell. DU is therapy.

[Pardon my ignorance but the only rAmen I know about is some type of Chinese noodles.]

I intend to someday quit effexor completely, but I don't know how soon I will be ready. I am no longer depressed, and I don't want to be taking a drug just to make me feel normal, but the withdrawal is so bad, I have to quit gradually.

[The thought of withdrawal is enough to depress you into doubling your effexor ration.]

Effexor has some of the worst side effect (brain-shivers, weight gain) of all of them, and also some of the worst withdrawal symptoms.

[One of the really bad Effexor side effects is a desire to remain in DUmmieland.]

I've taken Zoloft before, when I was diagnosed with Serious Depression at age 25. Quitting Zoloft was nothing. Didn't feel any withdrawals at all. This f*cking EffexorXR is 100x worse than cocaine to stop. And, EffexorXR does not get you high.

[How about the cheaper alternative of just sticking your head in a bucket of water and keep it there?]

I am also interested in some of the headway they are making in very targeted, low dose electro-shock therapy. There are very recent studies out that seem to be quite promising.

[You might also want to consider the very targeted, low dose lobotomies.

Effexor makes people hostile. That explains DUs attitude.

[So would Atavil explain the DUmb part?]

Effexor is what worked for me, but I'm off of it now because I'm broke. And I have no health insurance. It turned down the volume of my anxiety attacks to a manageable level, which I first noticed when I climbed onto a roof without freaking out (heights - bad). Unfortunately, it didn't save my marriage, and it may have actually hurt because it killed my sex drive.

[In addition to killing off your brain cells.]

I have been on either Zanex or valium since 1987All due to anxiety and panic attacks . However since the loss of jobs and not being able to find new work things have really gotten worse than ever , this on top of this admin and it's freakish dealings which affect just about everything one can think of just must have pushed me over the edge

[Zanex for the odd years, valium for the even years. And crack for the leap years.]

Monday, August 13, 2007

"Rove Resigns!!!!!"

Freudenschade, baby! Break out the victory champagne! Karl Rove is resigning according to this Wall Street Journal STORY. Although we all know Karl Rove was indicted 24 business hours ago on May 12, 2006, he will be resigning sans White House lawn frogwalk at the end of August. Yes, the DUmmies are jubilant because Rove won't be there to help Bush in his next campaign. Of course, few of them think that maybe, just maybe, Rove is leaving the White House now to participate in the Republican campaign season coming up after Labor Day as you can see in this THREAD jubilantly titled, "Rove Resigns!!!!!" So what did they expect? That Rove would be content to just sit in the White House to work on Bush's non-existent campaign while the Republican political season kicks into high gear? However, let us not spoil the DUmmie's brief moment of delusional celebration by pointing out the brutal facts to them. So let us join the DUmmie freudenschade celebration in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, entering a Perfect Rovian Storm, is in the [brackets]:

Rove Resigns!!!!!

[Freudenschade, baby!]

I just heard on ABC News that he is resigning and returning to Texas, for "the sake of his family". I think they said his last day is the end of this month.

[Oh joy! I'm having massive urinations of happiness in my pants!]

Edit, per the Wall Street Journal:

Karl Rove, President Bush's longtime political adviser, is resigning as White House deputy chief of staff effective Aug. 31, and returning to Texas, he said in an interview with Paul Gigot, editor of The Wall Street Journal's editorial page.

Read the editorial by The Wall Street Journal's editorial page editor, Paul Gigot, on his interview with Karl Rove.Mr. Rove, who has held a senior post in the White House since President Bush took office in January 2001, told Mr. Gigot he first floated the idea of leaving a year ago. But he delayed his departure as, first, Democrats took Congress, and then as the White House tackled debates on immigration and Iraq, he said. He said he decided to leave after White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten told senior aides that if they stayed past Labor Day they would be obliged to remain through the end of the president's term in January 2009.

"I just think it's time," Mr. Rove said in the interview. "There's always something that can keep you here, and as much as I'd like to be here, I've got to do this for the sake of my family." Mr. Rove and his wife have a home in Ingram, Texas, and a son who attends college in nearby San Antonio.

In the interview, Mr. Rove said he expects Democrats to give the 2008 presidential nomination to Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, whom he described as "a tough, tenacious, fatally flawed candidate." He also said Republicans have "a very good chance" to hold onto the White House in next year's elections.

[Rove knows we own ALL your Diebold machines.]

I'm holding out for the "Bush Resigns!!!" thread. But for now, this thread is pretty good.

[Were you the same DUmmie holding out for the "Rove Indicted!!!" thread in May of last year?]

But my paranoid part wonders if he's got something planned (bad) for the election or before, or if he's getting out while the gettin's good... The guy is Pure Satan.

[The Devil is in the details. Hee! Hee!]

It means that after August. Little Georgy is on his own.

[Little Georgy will never have Rove's help in any of his future elections.]

Will he have to honor his subpoena then?

[He will honor it in 24 business hours.]

I don't trust this one bit. He's got something up his sleeve.

[Your wallet, my gullible little DUmmie. Hee! Hee!]

I'm sure we haven't seen the last of Rove. He will be a kingmaker for the repubs that is for sure

[Gee. Ya think?]

Cockroaches never really leave. The real question is which Republican Presidential candidate will Rove be slithering for?

[I'm sort of hoping the Rovian Roach slithers over to Camp Mitt.]

I'd rather see "Rove Admits Himself to Mental Institution"

[Attention William Rivers Pitt! You may soon be getting a new roommate in the Ward 8 Rubber Room!]

Did the woman who went to jail over the debate tape sent to Gore in 2000 confess that she took the rap for Rove?

[Was that Lucy Ramirez who faxed TANG documents to Rove from the Amarillo Kinko's?]

Whose brain does that parasite invade now? Whose campaign manager will he be come?

[It's not polite to bite your fingernails in public.]

He's the sharpest arrow in their quill. He's not retiring into the sunset, not somebody this icky and evil.

[Break out the Guy Fawkes masks!]

Was Rove hired away by Kucinich?

[Only to feed inside campaign information to a rival campaign like a certain Temporary Sockpuppet did.]

Could there be more to this? I don't think I am buying that he is leaving because of family at all!

[No, no, my little DUmmie. Sleep well. No need to worry. Let us tuck you in and pay no attention to that Perfect Rovian Storm outside.]

The only thing I know for sure is that KKKarl is NOT leaving just to "spend time with his family."

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Skinner asks the DUmmies, "Do you ever get tired of hating?"

With his THREAD, "Do you ever get tired of hating?" Head DUmmie Skinner has caught his DUmmies on the horns of a dilemma. On the one hand, of course they really do HATE President Bush, Republicans, conservatives, Christians, normal people, et al. On the other hand, as liberals, they know they are not SUPPOSED to hate, since they think of themselves as the people of Peace, Love and Tolerance. So let us now all join hands and sing Kumbayah as we watch the DUmmies swing back and forth between their inner cauldron of boiling rage and their outward self-image as the Tolerant Ones, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--filling in for the exhausted Newsbuster, PJ-Comix--is in the [brackets]:

Do you ever get tired of hating?

[Do you ever get tired of overseeing the insane asylum called DUmmieland, Skinner?]

There has been a lot of hate on DU recently.

[You couldn't be referring to the slams directed at the now granite-cookied Party Pooper Pitt, could you?]

[At those times you switch to hating Cheney, Rice, Limbaugh, the Pope, weak Democrats in Congress. . . .]

And if you do hate sometimes, do you act in a way that contributes to the atmosphere of pervasive and relentless negativity (or even hate) that sometimes takes hold here on Democratic Underground?

[So now let's hear from the pervasively and relentlessly negative DUmmies, as they are caught between their true feelings and their peaceful self-image. . . .]

I see it most clearly in religious types.

[This DUmmie considers "religious types" as the real "haters." Ironic, because I have long held that DUmmieland is FUELED by its hot hatred of Christianity.]

Around here, I see it frequently directed AT "religious types."

[DUmmie Common Sense Party wins a Kewpie Doll for a brief moment of mental clarity.]

Skinner, I hear you and Want to Say Something Here. A few of us were at the Yearly Kos over the weekend. It was extraordinary and for me, a haven for political junkies. . . .

[Now this is something SKINNER hates! Kos has blown by DU as a "player" in the political blogosphere--due in some degree to Skinner's own passivity in running his forum.]

After almost seven years of BushCo, the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is the possibility of hammering another minuscule tack into the empire. . . . at the core is a barely contained simmering rage. . . .

So I'll stay pissed until the stakes are pounded into what's left of the hearts of these vampires and eagerly await their day at The Hague. . . . Now that would turn anger into boundless joy. . . .

[WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!]

I hate Cheney and Rove. I really just feel sorry for Bush.

[OK, that makes it all right then.]

Fusion of the polarities. The challenge of our era: STEEP STEPS TO 2012. . . . We live in a world of polarity: day and night, man and woman, positive and negative. Light and darkness need each other. They are a balance. Just now the dark side is very strong, and very clear about what they want. They have their vision and their priorities clearly held, and also their hierarchy. They are working in many ways so that we will be unable to connect with the spiral Fifth World in 2012. . . .

[Makes sense to me, DUmmie SpiralHawk. Please continue. . . .]

As Mr. Barrios sees it, the dark side works to block fusion through denial, hate, and materialism. It also works to destroy those who are working with the light to get the Earth to a higher level. They like the energy of the old, declining Fourth World, the materialism. They do not want it to change. They do not want fusion. They want to stay at this level, and are afraid of the next level. . . . The dark power of the declining Fourth World cannot be destroyed or overpowered. It’s too strong and clear for that, and that is the wrong strategy. The dark can only be transformed when confronted with simplicity and open-heartedness. This is what leads to fusion, a key concept for the World of the Fifth Sun. . . .

[When the moon is in the Seventh House and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars. . . .]

I personally never get tired of hating W, Cheney and the other Bush losers.

[Spoken like a true DUmmie!}

I'm drawing back somewhat, so I can rebuild my energy, I have a feeling that September is going to be a long hot month, and hate is going to spike.

[Try to reenter that kind of September. . . .]

Bush and Reagan, maybe. . . . I hate Reagan, more than I hate Bush. . . . Reagan, I just absolutely hate with a deep passion I'm not even sure I understand. . . . I still hate him. I don't even feel bad about hating him. . . . I hate Reagan. . . .

[Let me see if I've got this straight: You hate Reagan.]

I get tired of seeing the hate shown to certain people here. The "certain people" I'm talking about valuable DU members who put their hearts into getting information to us that the media won't touch. We should always appreciate that, even though if the information they learned behind the scenes didn't pan out due to later circumstances.

I will never get tired of hating Bush until he's marched in front of The Hague and put on trial for war crimes. Him and his whole crew -- Cheney, Feith, Perle, Novak,Rove, Rumsfeld, Rice.

[The Million Man Frogmarch to the Hague!]

This week, I'm writing all 57 of our Dems who voted w/ W on FISA. . . . I bought some stickers of footballs, baseballs, and basketballs this week...guess what I'm going to be saying to those 57 Dems...FIND YOUR BALLS! Oh, and I bought stickers of EGGS for our women Reps...FIND YOUR OVA!

[I'm guessing Barney Frank was not among the 57, because I don't know what kind of sticker you would use for him.]

There's always time to write these cards...usually while I'm watching Olbermann.

[Keith Olbermann, the King of Hate.]

Yes I do hate. I think Karl Rove is the creator of about 25% of mine and Cheney another 25% and Bush another 25% and the rest is BushCo the enablers and their blood sucking relatives.

[Do you use a Hate-o-meter or something to figure this out?]

You feel hate for Charles Manson. Examine what Bush has done to us, the nation, the world, and just like the death penalty is necessary for Tim McVey, Hate is the only emotion you can feel for Bush! Nothing else can satisfy that need!

[What the world needs now is love, sweet love. . . .]

Hate can't even come close to my feeling for some people. . . .

[I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. . . .]

Do I ever get tired of hating Bush and Cheney? My first inclination was to say that yeah, sure I do, hate is bad for everyone. But no, I can't say that I'm tired of hating them. I guess it just feels so right.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Scandal-Ridden NY Governor Posts "Happy Talk" In KOmmieland

Imagine you are involved in the greatest gubernatorial scandal in New York history. Two of your top aides have been caught spying on the Majority Leader of the New York State senate in order to dig up dirt on him. In addition, you are known as the ultimate control freak who micro-manages every little detail of your office so how could you have not known about what your close aides were doing? On top of that, it is now REVEALED that your aides had secret e-mail accounts to discuss political business whose contents will soon be investigated. Your political career is crumbling all around you so what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? Well, if you are New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, you blog on the far left Daily Kos and post a bunch of Happy Face pollyannish observations in the desperate hope that will somehow counteract a scandal that threatens to bring you down as you can see in his KOmmie blog THREAD with the Mr. Happy title of "Congratulations on a Great Weekend." To get yourself up to speed on the Eliot Spitzer Troopergate scandal, check out this terrific Human EventsARTICLE appropriately titled, "Steamroller Spitzer." Here is an excerpt from that article which gives insight into the character of the latest KOmmie blogger:

Since taking over as New York’s chief executive, Spitzer’s name calling, swearing and temper tantrums have frequently made front page headlines. When Assemblyman Tedisco dared to question a Spitzer proposal, the governor described himself as a “f---ing steamroller” who would flatten anyone in his way. He told Orange County Senator, William Larkin he’d “cut [his] head off.” And when Senate Republican Majority Leader, Joe Bruno, recommended a grand jury investigation into allegations that the state police was used to spy on him, Spitzer called the 78-year old Bruno “an old senile piece of s--- who is under federal investigation.”

...Spitzer’s “no-holds-barred” approach to governing has been adopted by his staffers. These “best and the brightest” believe that bare-knuckle tactics are permissible against perceived Albany obstructionists who in their judgment are dumb, wrong or evil. This brazen attitude has given rise to abuse of power scandals that are wrecking the seven-month old administration.

Please read that whole Human Events article and you will laugh even harder when viewing Spitzer's pathetic attempt to deny impending reality as he tries to make nicey-nice with the far left as if that will somehow make that nasty scandal go away. In fact his whole blog brings to mind the "Happy Talk" song from the musical, South Pacific. It's almost as if posting a "Happy Talk" love fest to the left will somehow make his scandal troubles go away. So let us now join Governor Eliot Spitzer making "Happy Talk" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that a steamroller with a pleasant pastel paint job is still a steamroller, is in the [brackets]:

Congratulations on a Great Weekend

[Congratulations Governor Steamroller!]

I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate the netroots community on a successful weekend in Chicago. The continued success of Yearly Kos is a testament to the power of the ideas you support.

The vitality and quality of the debate on sites like this one proves that there is a powerful movement growing to fundamentally change government. You’ve demonstrated that on-line activism and discussion can advance our national dialogue in significant and meaningful ways.

[And you've demonstrated that thuggish steamroller arrogance can backfire big time and bring down an entire governorship.]

While we are seeing a mounting reform movement at the national level, I would also urge you to be aware of some of the important developments that are occurring in statehouses across the country. There are some exciting things happening, demonstrating that your activism is also paying dividends at the state level.

[Yes, yes. Please make us aware of the important development of the Troopergate scandal in New York in which your top aides spied on the majority leader of the state senate in order to illegally dig up dirt on him.]

Building a strong foundation for reform at the state level is especially important since this is where many of our nation’s most important reform efforts have gotten their start. As Louis Brandeis once famously noted, the states can serve as "laboratories of democracy."

[Thanks to Troopergate, Governor Spitzer, your state is serving as a "lavatory of democracy."]

Nowhere has this been more true than in New York. From the Seneca Falls Convention to the beginnings of Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal to Frances Perkins’ fight for better labor conditions for American workers, we have a proud progressive tradition in the Empire State.

[Don't forget that all important steamroller tradition in the Empire State.]

While I do not compare myself to these giants, their examples are instructive. They show us what government can be at its best – a dynamic and positive force to improve the lives of all Americans. These are the values that have guided my time in public office. As a new governor, I have made reforming government and revitalizing New York’s economy the cornerstones of my administration. I hope to build on the lessons of the past and learn from the examples of other states, by finding collaborative, bipartisan, and pragmatic solutions to the problems facing New Yorkers.

We have had some tremendous successes already and have laid the ground work for future progress.

[You're progressing staight for the jailhouse door, Eliot.]

We provided health care coverage for every child in New York. This initiative is the meaningful first stage of the plan we are currently crafting to provide universal healthcare coverage. New York is taking a unique, incremental approach that will build on the experiences of other states around the country. In a nation as prosperous as ours, there is no excuse that every man, woman, and child does not have health care.

[There is no excuse that every thuggish governor does not have mental health care for his Anger Management problems.]

We are beginning the long overdue process of revitalizing New York’s economy and we are going about it in innovative ways. Investing in education is a key component of our economic development agenda. Our goal is to generate the highly skilled work force necessary to support and fuel our future economic growth and to allow us to compete in the global economy. In my first budget, we implemented historic investments in education and created a commission to study ways of making our higher education system a world class institution.

[This is starting to sound like you're saying, "Aren't I wonderful so can we all just forget this nasty scandal thing?"]

We have also taken the first steps towards implementing our universal broadband initiative so that inner-city and rural areas can have the same internet access that many of us already enjoy. And my belief in fair markets makes me a strong supporter of net neutrality.

[Woo! Hoo! That means I can travel all over New York with my laptop and check up everywhere via broadband the latest developments in the scandal that is bringing you down.]

Improving the business climate for both workers and employers is critical to economic growth in New York. Accordingly, we negotiated with industry, labor leaders, and elected officials from both parties to cut workers’ compensation costs for businesses, while at the same time increasing employee benefits. We are saving New York businesses $1 billion this year alone.

[We are filibustering with Happy Talk in KOmmieland in the pathetic hope that the nasty ol' scandal will just magically disappear.]

These are the kind of win-win solutions that demonstrate we can bring all sides together at the state level for the common interest of improving economic opportunity for all.

[You need to get together with your lose-lose aides who are about to rat you out.]

Reforming the way elections are conducted has always been essential to my mission of making government more responsive and accountable. We have reached a campaign finance reform agreement that slashes contribution limits, closes loopholes, and bans contributions from lobbyists. While this is only a first step, I believe we are moving in the right direction. I hope we can learn from Arizona, Maine, and Connecticut as well as other proposals and eventually implement a full public financing program to further protect our government from special interest influence.

[Speaking of campaign finance reform, that is the OTHER scandal you are mired in due to the fact that you illegally got a huge campaign loan for your deep pockets daddy when you ran for state attorney general.]

We have also stepped in to fill the federal leadership void in several areas where narrow ideologies have triumphed over common sense. That is why I have worked with my Lieutenant Governor David Paterson to provide an investment of $600 million in stem cell research over the next decade; why I will be proud to sign a bill that will provide marriage equality for all; and why I have proposed legislation designed to protect women’s rights if activist judges continue trying to overturn Roe v. Wade.

[I'm guessing here that humility isn't one of your strong points. Don't worry, governor. A spell in the jail cell is sure to humble you.]

Clearly much more work is left to be done. It will not be easy and mistakes will be made, but as any public servant knows, I cannot do it alone. I want to partner with you transform these lofty ambitions into concrete accomplishments. Public activism and engagement is the best way to make politicians stand up and take notice.

["Mistakes will be made." That is about as close as Spitzer will get in this Happy Talk blog post about the scandal that is currently destroying him.]

I will do my part by live-blogging in the next few weeks at The Albany Project, but I look forward to reading your comments to this diary to get the dialogue started. I hope that you will join me in discussing the ways we can make New York and the nation better.

[You could make New York better by resigning but that probably won't happen. You will have to be frogwalked out of the governor's mansion.]

I wish I could be in Chicago with you and hope to join you next year.

[You can join the KOmmies next year if the judge grants you a work-release program. And now for the KOmmie reaction...]

Used to be a fan Spitzer until Troopergate. I can't believe you would use taxpayer monies and the state police to try and set up a state Senator Joseph Bruno. Those are Nixon-, Bush-, Clinton-type tactics. You are above that.

[Actually Spitzer is BELOW that.]

Actually Spitzer has claimed not to know anything about this and I tend to agree with him. First, knowing him he would not have allowed this to have happened. Second, if he did know it and allowed it the way it would have been done would have been much more professionally and in the right way so no one would have been caught doing anything unethical as there would have been none of that done.

[So you are saying that Spitzer could not have known about the scandal because he would have been more professional in carrying it out?]

Rec this diary, people...it's Eliot's first diary, and he's the awesomest governor in the whole country. Show the man some love :-)

[The most awesomest steamroller in the country. Show the steamroller some love.]

But Doesn't It Feel Weird . . . for the Steamroller to put out a tip jar? I gave, but the concept left a smile on my face.

[Not half as weird as posting a long blog without a single mention of the HUGE scandal currently sinking the Steamroller.]

He needs some love right now...have you been reading the news from NY?

[You want a conjugal visit with Governor Steamroller in the pen?]

I think he needs lawyers, rather. Love doesn't exactly help one squeeze out from a tricky ethics investigation.

[Lawyers will teach the Steamroller how to say, "Nolo contendere."]

Lawyers he needs, regardless of where he gets them. Our love he doesn't need, and he won't be getting any from me until he comes clean. What we the people need are elected officials that fulfill their responsibilities without breaking the law for BS personal vendettas: often people love honest politicians of this type, especially as we rarely get them. Gov. Spitz, still waiting to hear back from you in re: the above. Are you hiding from the truth?

[Gov. Spitz is hiding under his steamroller.]

I hope it doesn't turn out that Gov Spitzer did break the law. If he did, I would still have to greatly take into consideration the extraordinary courage and integrity he used in taking on Wall Street and protecting investors.

[Actually his Wall Street persecutions are being looked into again.]

If there is one democratic politician in these United States who I dig more than Governor Spitzer, I've yet to hear of him or her...

[William Jefferson?]

Look forward to voting for you, Governor. I'm in New Mexico, and while we've got an awesome governor ourselves, I look to you as the future of the Democratic party.

[LOL! Spitzer is struggling with a scandal threatening to destroy his governership and you want him to run for president?]

You really think Eliot is corrupt? You really think he's not dedicated to doing the right thing? Look at his career. Public service fighting to do the right thing for how many years? Sued the Bush admin, how many times? Went after Enron...etc etc etc... One screw up and overboard he goes...in your eyes. I was one of the ones who was disappointed, but I'm not willing to give up on him like you seem to be. Yes, he could have handled that mess better, but I still think he's the best shot we have at starting to fix the mess in Albany.

[I BEEEEEELEEEEEEEVEEE!!!!!]

It's not too late to jump in for 2008 prez. I would be on board immediately and enthusiastically!

[ALL ABOARD THE TITANIC!!!]

Here's hoping your noninvolvement is as noninvolved as you claim. And here's hoping you and your staff get things sorted so you can do the real work that New Yorkers like myself elected you for, not BS personal vendettas and the consequent damage control from the f*cking-up thereof.

[The Steamroller knows nussing! NUSSING!!!]

I want to know specifically why your communications director, Dopp, was suspended and not fired, and why the other aide, Howard, was also not fired for their instigation of a dirty trick that Nixon would have been proud of for chrissake; the State Police Supt Felton should have been let go as well for his part in a politically motivated witch hunt that was not warranted by anything other than one-upmanship.

[Maybe they weren't let go so they wouldn't have an incentive to rat out the Steamroller.]

Your credibility is under serious strain (read the comments down thread on that last albanyproject link if you doubt me)- and that's saying something coming from folks like me who have touted you as an archetype of the good politician in this forum and elsewhere. At one time I thought you would make a great President. Please respond, Governor, and don't insult us with more dissembling.

["We provided health care coverage for every child in New York. This initiative is the meaningful first stage of the plan we are currently crafting to provide universal healthcare coverage. New York is taking a unique, incremental approach that will build on the experiences of other states around the country. In a nation as prosperous as ours, there is no excuse that every man, woman, and child does not have health care."]

Just hope that the problems with your staff and so-called Trooper-Gate does not affect your long term goal of convincing people that Joe Bruno is a bully and someone who is ethically challenged. He should not be a leader in state government and it is time for the state senate to be Democratic.

[Speaking of ethically challenged...]

Progressives can do stupid things. But I would hope the way they handle their mistakes is what marks them as progressive. Transparency, apology where needed, a commitment to doing better--and most importantly--complete accountability.

You are one of the voices in politics about whom I am most excited- it would be a profound pleasure to have you attend next year & you would be most welcome.

[Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,Talk about things you'd like to do.You got to have a dream,If you don't have a dream,How you gonna have a dream come true?]

MY HERO!! (sorry - got all gushy for a moment). I'm so pleased you chose to blog on this website. I was so delighted to vote for you and send you $ for your campaign. Please don't burn out with the hits you'll inevitably get for being a reformer. I've been watching and reading your about your work in Albany and want you to know how pleased and grateful I am to have you with your courage and intelligence represent us.

[Talk about the moon floatin' in the skyLookin' at a lily on the lake;Talk about a bird learnin' how to fly.Makin' all the music he can make.]

Elliot would make a great president. One thing for sure, he is not going to capitulate to anyone.

[Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,Talk about things you'd like to do.You got to have a dream,If you don't have a dream,How you gonna have a dream come true?]

You're at the top of my list of ethics and integrity, sense and sensibility.

[Talk about a star lookin' like a toyPeekin' through the branches of a tree;Talk about the girl, talk about the boyCountin' all the ripples on the sea.]

It's obvious that few people at Daily Kos know why Spitzer is here today trying to get some love (since his name has been mud in large swaths of NY for the last few weeks).

[Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,Talk about things you'd like to do.You got to have a dream,If you don't have a dreamHow you gonna have a dream come true?]

New York State is very lucky to have chosen you to be their Governor. Good luck with all of the work you have ahead of you. I haven't any doubt Kossacks will be supporting you in that effort.

[Talk about the boy sayin' to the girl:"Golly, baby, I'm a lucky cuss"Talk about the girl sayin' to the boy:"You an' me is lucky to be us!"]

Governor Spitzer, lots of us from all over the country appreciate the way you were able to drive a national agenda through your aggressive work as NY Attorney General, and look forward to you returning to a prominent role in national politics.

[Happy talk, keep talkin' happy talk,Talk about things you'd like to do.You got to have a dream,If you don't have a dreamHow you gonna have a dream come true?]

Mr. Spitzer, as Attorney General, went after businesses, corporations, health-care facilities, etc. that were screwing the little guy. This is why I actually got excited about a politician and was proud to vote for him.

[If you don't talk happy,And you never have dream,Then you'll never have a dream come true!]

I'd like to personally thank you for turning Joe Bruno into a wounded hero. Nice going, Junior. That really helps the Democratic Party in New York -- NOT.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

William Rivers Pitt QUITS DUmmieland!!!!!

Yes, you read this DUFU title right. Pied Piper Pitt has QUIT DUmmieland...again. Pitt has gone down this trail before when he quit DUmmieland for supposedly a long time only to return about 5 (or was it 3) days later. However, this time I think the Magic Man means it and not just because he asked the DUmmie Administrators to "granite-cookie" him so he can never return as you can see in his farewell THREAD titled, "Hello, I must be going." So why do I think Pitt is splitting for good this time? Several reasons. One big reason is that right now the YearlyKos KOnvention is going on. The Daily Kos is EVERYTHING that DUmmieland wishes it should be. However, despite the fact that DUmmieland originated at the beginning of 2001, about 3 years earlier than the birth of KOmmieland, they let themselves be completely rolled over by the KOmmies thanx primarily to the incredibly poor administrative abilities of Head DUmmie Skinner. Under Skinner's "leadership" the DUmmies were scammed to the tune of several hundred thousand bucks by con artist Bev Harris while Skinner remained idly standing by sucking his thumb as if he had no say-so in his own site. Skinner also was completely unable to put on the thin PR veneer that KOmmieland managed to accomplish in an attempt to portray themselves as the prime site for "responsible progressives." Instead, while KOmmieland is currently hosting many of the Democrat presidential candidates at their KOnvention, DUmmieland remains an object of ridicule almost everywhere due to the correct perception of it as being an asylum for the whackiest leftwing kooks imaginable. I mean how credible can a site forum be when it's most prominent "intellectual" posts semi-coherent drunken rantings and was involved in a huge case of journalistic fraud? Therefore this was a big part of Pitt's decision to jump ship in his DESPERATE attempt to ingratiate himself with the Democrats and finally, FINALLY be a for real political player. BTW, I sure hope Pitt isn't under the illusion that he would be welcome in KOmmieland since he is considered a laughingstock there. Of course, I would love to see Pitt make this attempt since the response from the unappreciative KOmmies would be eminently DUFUable. So let us now watch Pitt quit DUmmieland in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, promising to chronicle the exploits of the Pied Piper wherever he may be, is in the [brackets]:

Hello, I must be going...

[Goodbye, we must keep laughing...]

Yes, yes, welcome to yet another version of The Obligatory 'Goodbye DU' Thread...except not really...but yeah...only not.

[If that makes little sense to you, keep in mind that Pitt is typically PUI (Posting Under the Influence) due to too much Bukowski's brew at 4:45 in the morning.]

Hm.

[Hymn.]

Usually, any self-respecting 'Goodbye DU' thread has to be all angst-riddled and pissed and sodden with raging comments like "You all suck because you don't agree with my passionate flame-thread which got locked or sent to some sub forum about Israel 9/11 Impeachment Guns Taxes Dean Gore Nader I want everything to be about Electronic Voting Ice-Shelves PETA Religion Hillary Obama Iraq Iran Fleets Blarg Fuggle Nuff Bloog Zart Yaaaaaaaaag!"

[You're doing pretty good in the pissed and sodden department, Pitt.]

Yeah...um, no. Sorry to disappoint. I'm actually not pissed. Not at all. Just tired. See, I started out here hoping I'd found like minds. For a while, I thought I had found them. For a while, I had found them. That was six years ago.

["Tired" is the polite euphemism for PUI.]

Six. F*cking. Years.

[Six. Years. Wasted.]

Amazing to say it like that. And it was amazing. And we all were assholes now and again, me and you, yeah...but assholes on the side of right for America, and we were fractious and dizzy, but to me, it felt like DU had mission and purpose.

[Only now and again? I think it was a bit more frequent than that, especially on your part, Will.]

Maybe it still does. But I don't feel it anymore. And I'm not judging when I say this. It could be me. I have my mission:

[Yes, you are judging, Pitt, and in your judgement you can't get any more mileage out of DUmmieland so you're splitting.]

[Check that link. Pitt's self-described mission is to INGRATIATE himself with the Democrats so he can finally be a political player.]

...but it seems like this was the most unpopular thing ever posted here. Cool. No stress. Seriously. It would be disheartening if anyone took this thread here as some kind of "Waaaaah, my thread didn't do well, waaaaaah" thing. God help me, not the case...but that above link had my personal mission statement in there, and it managed to prove to not be a DU kind of mission, if the comments are evidence.

[The same thread in which Pitt portrays himself as Sir Gallahad ready to take up arms for the Democrats...and not so slyly preparing the way to make his exit from DUmmieland. A process which really began a few months ago when Pitt started MISSING HIS "ANGRY"]

I make no judgments. I'm not mad. When I posted it, I'd already pretty much decided this departure needed to happen. The reaction to that thread was just a kind of "Ahhh, yes..." confirmation of what I already knew. It's pretty much a no-brainer conclusion. My mission has nothing to do with the mindset here anymore. Period. End of file. Hard to miss.

[Your departure has EVERYTHING to do with the failure of DUmmieland to advance your non-existent political career.]

Like I said: COOL. Time will tell who's right and who's awful, or whatever pejorative I've called you or you've called me, even though we're on the same side. I just don't have any more time for this place, and this place has no use for me, and you know that's true, so shhh.....

[What was that you wrote at the top about this thread not being angst-riddled?]

I have thanked this place in each book I've written, and will do so in every one to come. You are all AMAZING BLESSED PATRIOTS, and the nation will rise or fall on the heat of your breath, sort of, but only if that breath is followed up with action and muscle and tactics and precision and patience...etc. You know what the next three words are.

Thank you for everything.

[That's FOUR words, Will, but you always did like padding your writing.]

I'm at william.pitt@truthout.org if you need to reach me. I'm going to ask the Admins to granite-cookie me, because I'm addicted, and therefore need to cut the vein-arm off at the elbow.

[Pitt is asking the Administrators to "granite-cookie" him which is like the DUmmie version of being taken off life support.]

Maybe I'm all wrong...but I know what my mission is, and I must do my best to fulfill it...and it doesn't seem to fit here anymore...and I can catch beatings in my bedroom, right?

[Beatings in your bedroom? Enough with your lonely personal life.]

I love you guys. Kick ass, take names, chew gum.

[Stay drunk.]

Peace.

[Rest In Peace. And now to hear from the rest of the DUmmies bid adieu to Pitt as he slowly sinks beneath the waves...]

Ojala que te vaya bien.

[Adios a nuestro borracho.]

You and NanceGreggs are two of the pillars that hold this crazy place up...

[Sniff! One of the asylum pillars has fallen down.]

Awwwwwe... Too bad, so sad, your choice. I won't lose any sleep over it... Better check that ego, too... Maybe a "time out" is a good thing in this case...

[A "time out" of 24 business hours?]

At least Will isn't a habitual asshole in every single thread he posts in.

[Only in 99% of them and in the other 1% he is just doing copy and paste threads.]

We won't have William Pitt to kick around any more

[Don't worry. The DUmmie FUnnies will have William Pitt to kick around always.]

God dammit Will you f*cker don't do this! You can't leave. I don't agree with you on everything but you can't just f*cking leave. NO you f*cker you may NOT leave. Go to bed, sleep it off (I'm on my second vodka martini myself after working at the bar all f*cking night...I can't feel my f*cking feet right now...) But come back god dammit! You will bloody well not leave!

[Big deal. Pitt is on his FIFTH vodka martini after working at the bar all night.]

Hopefully this is a time-out, Will...we all need one now and then...and that you have many other important things in the "real world" where your talents and determination can do some very positive, construtive things.

[Perhaps Will can find a job in the "real world" stabbing Dennis Kucinich in the back again as his press secretary.]

There is a revolving door effect here at DU. Sometimes you run out of it screaming only to find you're right back in the lobby again.

[That's what happened in the previous Pitt Split. Pitt split only to return via the revolving door within 24 business hours.]

Yeah, OK. Whatever you say, Pitt. "Granite-cookie" you. Sure. Right.

[When Pitt finds out that there is NO job for him with the Democrats, you will find him selling granite-cookies on Boston streetcorners...or at Newton schoolyards.]

You sure said you're not mad a lot. Sure about that?

[About as sure as not being angst-riddled.]

Can I still say that goodbye threads are for attention seekers in search of "please stay!" replies?

[You may and you may also be pleased to recieve a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

This place is not the same anymore and your absence will make it even more not the same. I don't know if it's the DLC invasion or the upcoming elections or maybe just frustration with the Dems but this place has changed.

[It's the fact that KOmmieland is now stealing all the glory that DUmmieland wishes it had but doesn't thanx in large part to the incredibly poor administrative abilities of Head DUmmie Skinner.]

You will always hold the record for _spectacularly_ trashing this board..., it's administrators and users, the most number of times and still being allowed to continue posting here.

[Yet another example of Skinner's horrible administrative abilities.]

I suspect that the last post was written after a few drinks of alcohol.

[An excellent suspicion about ALL of Pitt's posts.]

We will all grieve in our own way.

[LOL! This DUmmie posted a pic of a champagne bottle popping right after that statement.]

Hey! Wait a minute! You can't get rid of me that easily!I'm not going anywhere. Having said that, I completely understand his decision (I was not consulted, BTW). He has a lot to do and there is a great deal of wasted energy on this Board. I've been here since almost the beginning and things have changed. This Board used to be a place where you could test an idea without getting flamed and I know that Will did a lot of that. I can remember when he would post a draft of a Truthout essay here for people to critique and folks here would give him wonderful ideas and good faith criticism. DU is now less a place for constructive debate and more a place for insults and temper tantrums.

[That was Mama Pitt, DUmmie Raven, performing body slams against DUmmieland for her little Sonny Boy. And now more from Mama Pitt...]

The sad thing is that this is a time when we need every good mind and it is a loss to all of us when even one decides to go. But, a little less talk and a little more action is needed at this critical time in our country's life. We all need to get off the keyboard and out onto the street, that is where the action is, not here. All we seem to do here these days is talk and fume and swear and stamp our collective feet. Wasted energy, totally wasted energy.

[Mama Pitt lecturing the DUmmies about stepping away from their keyboards and pizza cartons in order to DUAC! We return again to Mama Pitt on the soapbox...]

So I'll hang around and watch my posts about getting out and doing something sink like a stone. I'll watch my posts about what regular folks are saying and thinking languish because many people here haven't got a clue. When some posters here advocate economic disaster as a means of political reform I scratch my head and think about the folks I meet every week who are working two jobs to keep food on the table. I think about people my age relying on their retirement funds for their future. Yup, you really have to have your finger on the pulse of this country to want an economic collapse. Clueless.

[More body slamming against DUmmieland from Mama Pitt. And now the conclusion of her sermonette...]

So folks here won't have Will Pitt to kick around anymore and it's going to be....boring!

[Almost as boring as a Pied Piper Pitt post.]

I remember that...we oldies here remember when Will first started.....Goodness.....really what has happened to this place?.......

[Skinner allowed the place to go down into the DUmps which is why you are not now seeing Democrat presidential candidates visiting a YearlyDUmmie convention.]

I saw you posted this at 4:30 this am.....

[The hour when Will is mostly strongly under the influence of the Bukowski Magic Potion.]

About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.