A few weeks ago, "Jurassic Park" was on cable and I watched it. I hadn't seen it since it was released 20 years ago and I was curious to see if it held up. It did, in fact. I found it quite entertaining, even though I knew how it turned out.

I was so stupid. If I had only waited until April 5, I could have paid an exorbitant amount of money to see a 3D conversion of the same movie. It would cost the price of a movie ticket, plus an "event charge" for the 3D.

As you know, there are two types of 3D movies – those shot in 3D with the proper cameras and those converted to 3D after the fact.

Shooting a film intentionally in 3D is admirable, and it occasionally results in an enhanced experience in the theater. I think the two best recent uses of the technology were James Cameron's "Avatar" and Martin Scorsese's "Hugo." One almost got the feeling that the filmmakers did it to make their films better, not to make money.

But the same can't be said of most of the decisions to convert 2D movies into 3D. It's done for only one reason – money. It is the next logical step by Hollywood bean-counters who possess no creativity or originality of their own, and instead come up with ideas for sequels, prequels and remakes. It doesn't take talent to say, "Let's make a sequel to that old movie."

Converting old films to 3D was inevitable in a town that loves to remind you that it's called show business, and not show art.

Most 3D conversions are found lacking. One of the exceptions was last year's conversion of Cameron's "Titanic," but he had the time and money to do it right. He told me it took 300 artists working full time for 60 weeks – at a cost of $18 million.

"Normally, I am against 3D conversions," Cameron said at the time. "It has to be done right."

Most studios would not be willing to shell out $18 million, or devote so much time, to make the conversion right. After all, the whole purpose of the conversion is to make a quick buck on a product that has long been on the shelf. They call it found money, so why cut into the profits?

What bothers me even more than the "event fees" that jack up ticket prices is the tinkering with old movies. Hollywood rarely converts bad films that were unsuccessful at the box office. Instead, they grab whatever big movies they can find and convert them.

It scares me to think where this might end. Is there any film considered off limits by these numbers crunchers?

I've been trying to come up with a 3D conversion that would upset me the most. Of course, it has to be "The Godfather." I'm sure Francis Ford Coppola would never allow it, but the notion still keeps me up at night.

I suppose the conversation might go something like this:

FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA: You said you wanted to talk about an exciting new project that involved "The Godfather." You aren't talking about a "Godfather IV," are you? I can't go through that again, after "Godfather III."

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: I wouldn't do that to you, Francis. My idea won't cause you any grief at all.

COPPOLA:What is it?

EXEC: Are you sitting down?

COPPOLA:I'm sitting right in front of you.

EXEC: That's right. I'm so excited about this idea that I can't think straight. I want you to convert "The Godfather" into 3D.

COPPOLA:Are you out of your mind?

EXEC: It's a natural. We could make a bundle on a 3D conversion.

COPPOLA:You need to see a doctor. Why would anyone want to see "The Godfather" in 3D?

EXEC: There is a whole new generation out there screaming for this conversion. Do you know the percentage of movie-goers who were not even alive in 1972, and have never seen "The Godfather" on a big screen?

COPPOLA:No, what's the percentage?

EXEC: I have no idea. I say things without facts to back them all the time.

COPPOLA:That's obvious.

EXEC: Francis, you're not seeing the big picture here. Young people need old movies to be updated. Remember the scene when Sonny gets killed at the toll booth? Now imagine it in 3D.

COPPOLA:Am I being punk'd?

EXEC: Hear me out. You re-shoot the scene, using James Caan's son Scott as Sonny, and film from behind Sonny, so we see the bullets flying toward the camera in 3D. This is a billion-dollar idea.

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