The reason the guys f**k each other...

Having spent a few years gracing the south coast sh*thole with my presence I can attest to the truly shocking quality of the female population.

Generally ugly, a loud gibbon-like eloquence and social structure with a propensity for bad language and the drinking of cheap alcohol. Too many small tight tops to proudly show off the flabby results of too much shallow end of the gene pool breeding and eating of junk food to the uneducated chav like male population. It goes without saying that this model for a life is handed down from the elders who generally believe that shouting "Pom-peeeeeeeey" and having those very letters self tatooed onto ones body is the way to bag a quality partner.

There is also the interesting fashion style called the "Fareham facelift" - this involves the female tying the hair back so tightly it pulls all of the wrinkles out of the face to hide the fat. These pituary retards must think this makes them more attractive, but upon reflection... I beg to differ.

Paris obviously. She may be a bit wayward but she'd light up the back streets of Stamshaw or Fratton like an angel... until the girls of Portsmouth, with their unevolved frontal lobes beat her up of out of jealousy of course.

I live in portsmouth..

Royal Navy

Dear Sir,

I am glad to hear that your readership disapproves of the poster as strongly as I.

As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for buggery. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls shagged in Aden. Arabs?

@ Phillip Nichols

Of course...

Your average innocent kiddie (anyone seen one lately? Anyone?) wouldn't see anything odd in that picture at all. You're only going to look at it a bit sideways if that sort o' thing is on your mind already.

Which says a lot for the mentality of your average Daily Mail reader...

Portsmouth, you say?

Nothing but two Republicans getting together in Saint Paul next week

Come on boys, this is what the GOP has turned into over the past decade, and the Repugs don't seem to have a problem with it, so why should should Her Majesty's Navy?) . There's a couple of recreated 19th century riverboats at the docks in St. Paul where Larry Craig can recreate these scenes with his butt buddies, with Dick (no snickering!) Cheney watches for the coast to be clear

Paris because she'd be safe with this crowd while the cabin boy's in danger

Aah Pompey

The picture.......having long ago dated an RN Admiral's daughter I can attest to the fact that anyone in relation to the Royal Navy ALWAYS does it "Navy style on the Poop Deck". And there's always plenty of "seamen" ;)

To Aristoles.....clearly you have been there and now the place well. I grew up in Havant, (monumental shit hole that it is which makes me so glad I live in Surrey now.) and yes the "females" of the area are generally either stick thin anorexic chav twigs with the "Fareham facelift", or fat gobby fakkiiiiin caaaawwsss with the same hair do, and half a dozen kids by different fathers. There are a few, and I stress few exceptions. Mostly the minority of the population that aren't chav's.

Although saying that there are a number of the female chavs that if you scrapped off the cheap plastered on makeup, scrubbed off the cheap tarty perfume that they seem to bath in, unplastered their hair and got them out of the slapper clothes, they would actually pass as quite attractive young women. Sadly they won't. Perhaps someone would like to perform a massed "My Fair Lady" on Pompey ??

Won't someone think of the children - Aah the Paulsgrove Paedophile riots. A thoroughly entertaining event to everyone local when contacted by people from other area's of the country commenting in shock at the "cars on fire, people being dragged from their homes and beaten up by mistake" and being advised that Paulsgrove is always like that. (Ok so there were 2 cars on fire in comparison to the normal 1 car on fire.) The best part is when I learned that the women in charge of the protesters was arrested right after giving an interview to the BBC for child neglect. She's left her 2 year old at home alone and it had gotten out of the house and was found running in the middle of the street naked. (A thoroughly dangerous thing to do because of all the boy racers round there.) People I know at Portsmouth City Council advised me that this particular woman was not fit to lead such a protest as she had a rap sheet with Social Services for child neglect and child abuse as long as your arm, and had had her children taken away from her several times. Which of course by Paulsgrove standards makes her a model mother lol

I went back to Pompey over the weekend and ended up having to email a friend when I got home to check and see if Pompey really was as run down and crap looking as I saw it, or if I was comparing it to a rose tinted memory of Pompey after living in lovely clean Surrey for the last 8 years.