Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

@#1 I say leave him with his decision. He'll regret it later, and if he doesn't...at least OP will know a bit more about his true colours?

OP should use the deep sigh followed by the "alright then, I'll just go alone :(. I'll tell my friends' husbands you couldn't make it." Always works. When you agree with them, they know something's up.

Yeah, agree with him. He'll feel so bad he will get wasted with his buddies at his weekly pub crawl. Actually he won't feel bad and he will get wasted anyway. He wouldn't care about the other husbands going, he's already out with his friends. Then he won't understand why you're mad, you said go. Some women's logic blows my own mind.

10, Maybe...Maybe not. Not all men will realize their gf/wife is trying to guilt trip him. He may actually just say "Alright cool! Thanks for understanding babe!" And then go on their merry way. Unfortunately, some men don't read into things like that.

I understand him wanting to enjoy a night out with the boys here and there, but putting that ahead of his wife's grad? He's either a clueless dunce or else just has zero appreciation for op's accomplishments.

Do you know how hard is to get a phd. For example to get a PHD in commerce, you would have to get your undergraduate degree which takes 4 years. Then you would have to get 2-3 years work experience so you can apply to MBA school which will takes you 2 years to finish. Then only you can apply to get a PHD. That's lot of work and then you suggest she should ask her husband if he can attend? Really?

Unless her husband is actually that mean, he was probably just a little irritated that she told him last minute and/or after he had made plans. (That's the only reason to YDI actually, she 'assumed' he was coming right, she didn't outright tell him).

Because people get their PhD on a weekly basis. I think OP has every right to assume her husband would choose to celebrate this once in a lifetime accomplishment over a weekly ritual of drunken escapades. Besides, it's OP that should be doing a pub crawl after graduating!

While I generally agree that bargaining is a valid way to ensure mutual satisfaction in relationships, OP should not have to compromise with her husband to gain his support of an accomplishment as major as earning a PhD. It would be completely unreasonable of her husband to want or expect something in return for attending the ceremony.

I finally see the light, I was thinkin more of finding a solution to make him go more than let me go support my wife at her graduation, I mean like you said, it's not like people just wake up and become doctors, it's a rigorous process that takes years and dedication and OP's husband should respect that, FYL OP