Wednesday, December 26, 2012

On Wednesdays we are raising awareness re children who need families. Please advocate for (and consider adopting) these children. I am not endorsing any of these agencies or these children's cases. Please do your own due diligence in that regard.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I have no words for the unimaginable tragedy that happened yesterday in CT. I heard about it at work in the afternoon and immediately felt like I was going to vomit and I have pretty much felt that way since. I don't understand how someone could execute children.

We have not told B about this and are intentionally trying to shield him from it. Please DO NOT mention this around him in any way.Although this horrible incident highlights that in fact, we as parents can not protect our children from everything/anything (a sobering and terrifying reality) it is important for young children to believe parents can completely take care of them.If B was 8 or 10 this would likely be a very different conversation in our house, but B is 4. He has already come through complex and difficult circumstances, does not feel safe at school, and after 18 months of hard work on all our parts is just starting to trust that we will take care of him. He does not need to grapple with this right now. We will address it with him in an age appropriate way if/when it comes up but we are hoping that it will not.

Although we are shielding him from it, we are not shielded. My heart breaks for all who are mourning today. I cannot stop hugging and kissing B. I cannot swallow the lump in my throat. I cannot hold back the tears that stream down my face at random moments. As a mother I cannot imagine how I would feel if something happened to B at school, let alone if he died. Devastated is not a strong enough word. As a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend...oh my heart aches for these children and teachers and their families.

This horrible act of violence clearly violates God's commandments. It goes against every shred of decency in our society and annihilates every convention of behavior. It is unfathomable to me. I cannot understand it. I don't think I ever will.

Our world is sinful and broken. There is a tension between the image of God reflected in us as his creation and the gaping void of sin that twists and lies and corrupts everything. Most of the time I live in a fairly insulated world where I acknowledge this, but push it aside and stuff it down. When confronted with yesterday's events, a glimpse of the depths of sin and depravity are silhouetted in stark relief and it scares the shit out of me.

As scared and sad and hopeless as I feel in this situation, the one thing that I know to be true is that God loves me. He loves you. He created us. He created this world. He is the most Powerful. The most Wise. The most Loving. The most True. The most Just. The most Holy. I don't understand why he allowed sin to enter the world or why he allows it to continue in the world, but I know that He has triumphed over sin and death and Satan, and that He will come again...with Justice, with Healing, with Renewal, with Life!

Tonight as I tucked B into bed we read a paraphrase from Revelations in his Bible and it seemed so apropos that I have included the whole chapter here.

Revelations 21

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.And
I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling
place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life.Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.But
the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually
immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.”And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God.It shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a very precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal.It had a great, high wall with twelve gates, and with twelve angels at the gates. On the gates were written the names of the twelve tribes of Israel.There were three gates on the east, three on the north, three on the south and three on the west.The wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

The angel who talked with me had a measuring rod of gold to measure the city, its gates and its walls.The city was laid out like a square, as long as it was wide. He measured the city with the rod and found it to be 12,000 stadia in length, and as wide and high as it is long.The angel measured the wall using human measurement, and it was 144 cubits thick.The wall was made of jasper, and the city of pure gold, as pure as glass.The foundations of the city walls were decorated with every kind of precious stone. The first foundation was jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald,the fifth onyx, the sixth ruby, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth turquoise, the eleventh jacinth, and the twelfth amethyst.The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl. The great street of the city was of gold, as pure as transparent glass.

I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple.The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it.On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there.The glory and honor of the nations will be brought into it.Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life.

Friday, December 14, 2012

This blog is a resource I have literally been dreaming of but did not know existed! How amazing to have a young Ethiopian man thoughtfully try to share his heritage with the children of his country who now live around the world!

My son is my son, but he has many relatives and a uniquely complex story. He is American, he is Ethiopian. He is mine to raise, but was born to, raised by, and loved by many others for almost three years before we came into each other's lives.

Our whole family loves Ethiopia and it is now an indelible part of our lives. How much more so my son who is Ethiopian, was born in Ethiopia, and has a proud Ethiopian heritage. He is American but he is also Ethiopian. He will always be both.

The art, pottery, shawls, clothes, carvings, and other crafts we brought home from Ethiopia adorn our house. The recipes fill our mouths and nourish our bodies. The celebrations we attend and relationships we are trying to develop with our local Ethiopian community are at once perplexing and rewarding. The books we purchase expand our minds and provide a glimmer of my son's heartbreakingly beautiful, proud, complex, impoverished, ever-changing, and unimaginably rich history, but to have a person who is trying to articulate all these things intentionally, sensitively, and clearly, specifically for kids who no longer live in Ethiopia because of international adoption...WOW! All I can say is "thank you" from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

It's been a little (a lot) crazy around here! At this point we are holding on by the tips of our fingers and very much looking forward to a long Christmas break with family and friends.

But...I've had a little time to think about this blog. We started it to chronicle our journey to our son and our adventure becoming a family so that our relatives and friends could share that life altering and amazing experience in some way!

Although my deepest desire for 2013 is to welcome another child/children to our family through adoption, Ababa is not quite ready for that. So, until we can chronicle that new journey on here (which believe me I will be shouting from the rooftops!) I'll continue to post periodic updates on our family/bonding&attachment/life/my thoughts on adoption, but I also want to advocate more for waiting kids...the children who are breaking my heart. If we can't welcome them into our family yet, maybe they are meant to be in your family!

So, we are going to start "Waiting Child Wednesdays". Every Wednesday I'm going to raise awareness for specific waiting kids, especially the ones who are resting heavy in my heart. Pray for them, advocate for them, raise awareness about them, and maybe we can help place the lonely (children and parents-to-be) in families.

Also, I am going to start "Family Fridays" raising awareness about family preservation programs and initiatives to help alleviate poverty, AIDS, lack of clean water, lack of healthcare and childcare, and other issues that contribute to children needing families throughout the world (including in the US).

I think it sounds great, but just in case that all sounds too heavy I'll still be posting random stuff adorable pictures of B, great egg-free recipes, and a potpourri of other musings.