Writerbrain: Crap. I only did 1500 words yesterday. That puts me behind schedule for hitting the halfway mark by tomorrow. How can I fix this?

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: By writing more.

Writerbrain: AHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right, ok, try another one.

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: No, really. That's what you're going to have to do.

Writerbrain: Pull the other one, it tickles.

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: Look, you're at page 215 or thereabouts. In order to reasonably achieve 250 pages by Saturday, you need to do at least 10 pages today; 15-20 would be better. It'll be fine. Just get to work.

Writerbrain: Solitaire is nice.

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: Solitaire sucks, and besides, you already won a game this morning. Call it good and go back to work. Look, you put some nice sentences together there and pushed yourself over 10 pages on this chapter when you stopped playing solitaire for twenty minutes.

Writerbrain: Gilmore Girls rules!

Unpleasant Voice of Reality: And you can watch some Gilmore Girls when you've gotten to 230 pages.