Friday, May 15, 2009

So our old shower curtain is doubled over and is missing the last two rings, as well as pretty much encrusted with the same lichenous fungi that covers our ceiling.

And me, being the nice guy I am, decided that my mother's credit card would happily pay for a new curtain and rings, sort of a going-away present for the house from me.

At the store, after a lengthy and upsetting search I will not go into, the choice of vinyl shower curtains came down to yellow duckies or blue penguins. Now I love penguins; this is a given. However rubber duckies are a classic. Still, duckies are a bit clichéd, whereas penguins are actually a pretty apt commentary on what it feels like to take a shower with sub-standard plumbing held together by duct tape in the basement that leaks all over our drier and I know because I was the one who fixed the fix-it guy's patch job.

Also, Binghamton is fucking cold. Penguins are cold.

I was pretty happy with the choice until I realized I'd have to defend it to the plebians. People hate to think for their jokes. That's why Reba is still on the air.

I went with the duckies and I was repeatedly thanked for choosing something so hipster-chique.