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Topic: Correcting or pointing fingers? (Read 5746 times)

You may be able to use your dad's views to get him to behave better by playing the national security card. It's a good idea to ask your daughter what the rules and her personal preferences are. She may even be unhappy about the photo, which would be a good reason to ask that it be taken down.

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It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Thankfully, once she deploys, they will have near-zero visibility into what she does - we can almost never get her to call us, much less her grandparents.

I appreciate the suggestions, and will pass them on - mom's been on him about 'poking the bear' with some of his more politically touchy posts, so this may get him to shut it down.

The photo is one she posted of herself, from her unit's informal photo pool on their public Facebook page, so no concerns with it - it's been vetted as safe, shows not much other than her, a large weapon and a brick wall, and has no identifying details that would be a concern.

... if I don't know what they are doing/where they are, I can't accidentally drop that information in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The less that's out there on the internet, the better for operational security. So if you want, you could address the issue with family by telling them that the less there is on Facebook about your daughter's movements, the better. It's for her safety, ... and the safety of all the other military personnel around her. Surely they wouldn't want to post something that could bring harm to US military troops overseas?

I agree with telling these relatives as little as possible beyond the fact that she's being deployed and for the exact reason Camlan gives in her post.

Honestly, if they are misrepresenting her to push their own agenda/beliefs I'd be ticked. I think I would tell them that they need to remove the picture and information or they will not get any more updates about her and how she is doing. If they truly care about her then they will get their priorities straight.

We spent the weekend with dad, and mom, and had a long dinner with DD. Turns out dad really DID think she was going to Afghanistan. Politics aside, he was just ignorant of world geography to think Qatar was a city in Afghanistan, not an independent country in north Africa. He's updated his post - but still thinks it's nearly criminal to send any 18 year old kid anywhere they might get shot at. That I can't argue with.

He also spent a lot of time talking to DD about her posting, and what she expects, and gave her a very useful and thoughtful gift - a knife that they give the USMC but not the USAF when they deploy. DD was very appreciative, both of the thought and the gift.

We spent the weekend with dad, and mom, and had a long dinner with DD. Turns out dad really DID think she was going to Afghanistan. Politics aside, he was just ignorant of world geography to think Qatar was a city in Afghanistan, not an independent country in north Africa. He's updated his post - but still thinks it's nearly criminal to send any 18 year old kid anywhere they might get shot at. That I can't argue with.

He also spent a lot of time talking to DD about her posting, and what she expects, and gave her a very useful and thoughtful gift - a knife that they give the USMC but not the USAF when they deploy. DD was very appreciative, both of the thought and the gift.

To repeat what another poster said, please please please have a discussion with these people about operational security. OPSEC is very important for families. Never give out the who, what, where and when of any troops movements especially on the internet. It can put your DD and her entire unit in danger. And it doesn't just apply to the internet! There is nothing rude about being vague for security purposes. I have found that using the old phrase "Loose lips sink ships" from WWII to be the fastest way to get the point across.

In my son's unit, we never mention any dates, only vague locations etc until everyone is back boots on the ground in the US.

We spent the weekend with dad, and mom, and had a long dinner with DD. Turns out dad really DID think she was going to Afghanistan. Politics aside, he was just ignorant of world geography to think Qatar was a city in Afghanistan, not an independent country in north Africa. He's updated his post - but still thinks it's nearly criminal to send any 18 year old kid anywhere they might get shot at. That I can't argue with.

He also spent a lot of time talking to DD about her posting, and what she expects, and gave her a very useful and thoughtful gift - a knife that they give the USMC but not the USAF when they deploy. DD was very appreciative, both of the thought and the gift.

To repeat what another poster said, please please please have a discussion with these people about operational security. OPSEC is very important for families. Never give out the who, what, where and when of any troops movements especially on the internet. It can put your DD and her entire unit in danger. And it doesn't just apply to the internet! There is nothing rude about being vague for security purposes. I have found that using the old phrase "Loose lips sink ships" from WWII to be the fastest way to get the point across.

In my son's unit, we never mention any dates, only vague locations etc until everyone is back boots on the ground in the US.

Thankfully, that's not likely to be an issue - DD is so well briefed on this, she won't even tell us things until they are over. We all but had to pry her weekend training dates out of her, when she was just doing her National Guard training weekends stateside. Lots of influence from her (previously in a war zone) aunt. Thanks for the reminder, though... not everyone's family would know that.

We spent the weekend with dad, and mom, and had a long dinner with DD. Turns out dad really DID think she was going to Afghanistan. Politics aside, he was just ignorant of world geography to think Qatar was a city in Afghanistan, not an independent country in north Africa. He's updated his post - but still thinks it's nearly criminal to send any 18 year old kid anywhere they might get shot at. That I can't argue with.

He also spent a lot of time talking to DD about her posting, and what she expects, and gave her a very useful and thoughtful gift - a knife that they give the USMC but not the USAF when they deploy. DD was very appreciative, both of the thought and the gift.

To repeat what another poster said, please please please have a discussion with these people about operational security. OPSEC is very important for families. Never give out the who, what, where and when of any troops movements especially on the internet. It can put your DD and her entire unit in danger. And it doesn't just apply to the internet! There is nothing rude about being vague for security purposes. I have found that using the old phrase "Loose lips sink ships" from WWII to be the fastest way to get the point across.

In my son's unit, we never mention any dates, only vague locations etc until everyone is back boots on the ground in the US.

Thank you (and another poster above) who mentioned keeping secrets.

I remember reading lots of history books about World War II when I was growing up, and I remember how keeping troop movements and deployments and ships' sailing dates secret was a big deal back then. As I started to read this thread I was asking myself, seriously, whether or not it is OK in 2013 to be posting details on Facebook about where and when a National Guard unit is going abroad. I'm guessing that it is something that the OP's daughter's commanders would want kept secret and not posted on Facebook.

I remember reading lots of history books about World War II when I was growing up, and I remember how keeping troop movements and deployments and ships' sailing dates secret was a big deal back then. As I started to read this thread I was asking myself, seriously, whether or not it is OK in 2013 to be posting details on Facebook about where and when a National Guard unit is going abroad. I'm guessing that it is something that the OP's daughter's commanders would want kept secret and not posted on Facebook.

FYI - This isn't like the sailing of a battleship - this is a routine thing, more akin to a group of employees being transferred than D-Day, and it's in the paper at home, they have a big farewell at the airport, etc. We're not going to get details about when they go on missions (if any) or anything like this - but the deployment of a National Guard troop is certainly not even a little bit secret. As an example (this isn't her group - they are too small to merit a big story) http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20120613_11_A11_CUTLIN241322

True, basic troop movements happen all the time and are frequently in the news, at least the local news.

However, some military personnel did post more detailed accounts of their unit's movements and plans on Facebook at one point in the current conflict. I don't know who or when or what, but my brothers in the military started saying even less after this was found out. So it is my understanding that the military does keep tabs on what gets posted on social media. I believe the responsibility is with the service member to keep the details secret, so that no one they know can post potentially harmful information.

I remember reading lots of history books about World War II when I was growing up, and I remember how keeping troop movements and deployments and ships' sailing dates secret was a big deal back then. As I started to read this thread I was asking myself, seriously, whether or not it is OK in 2013 to be posting details on Facebook about where and when a National Guard unit is going abroad. I'm guessing that it is something that the OP's daughter's commanders would want kept secret and not posted on Facebook.

FYI - This isn't like the sailing of a battleship - this is a routine thing, more akin to a group of employees being transferred than D-Day, and it's in the paper at home, they have a big farewell at the airport, etc. We're not going to get details about when they go on missions (if any) or anything like this - but the deployment of a National Guard troop is certainly not even a little bit secret. As an example (this isn't her group - they are too small to merit a big story) http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20120613_11_A11_CUTLIN241322

Oh! OK, thank you for pointing this out. I honestly had no idea that this was not secret. (When I stop and think more carefully, I realize that you love your daughter and would not increase her risk by posting secrets!) I wish her the best.

I need to preface my comment by stating that I know nothing at all about miltary procedures, especially US military procedures. But,2 things about the FB post nother me so much. First, if a relative of mine posted my photo to FB attached to an even vaguely political message, I would very likely flip my lid completely. And if I wasn't on FB and found out that others had seen it and not told me immediately, I'd be pretty peeved at them too. And that is whether or not I agreed with the politics in the post. And that goes double, triple and quadruple as a miltary professional or civil servant who should be apolitical. Second, if your daughter had to completely deactibvate her FB account, then this behaviour is even more reprehensible because ir seems to me she could get in big trouble for having a FB "presence" when she's not supposed to, and she has no way of seeing it herself since she's not on FB.

I remember reading lots of history books about World War II when I was growing up, and I remember how keeping troop movements and deployments and ships' sailing dates secret was a big deal back then. As I started to read this thread I was asking myself, seriously, whether or not it is OK in 2013 to be posting details on Facebook about where and when a National Guard unit is going abroad. I'm guessing that it is something that the OP's daughter's commanders would want kept secret and not posted on Facebook.

FYI - This isn't like the sailing of a battleship - this is a routine thing, more akin to a group of employees being transferred than D-Day, and it's in the paper at home, they have a big farewell at the airport, etc. We're not going to get details about when they go on missions (if any) or anything like this - but the deployment of a National Guard troop is certainly not even a little bit secret. As an example (this isn't her group - they are too small to merit a big story) http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/article.aspx?subjectid=11&articleid=20120613_11_A11_CUTLIN241322

The deployment itself is not a secret, it's more about the exact dates and locations that you don't want to give out. You notice in the article the dates and places are vague. My ex is military. I to this day have no idea of half of the things he did on deployment. They would change his deployment date several times before he left, and I'd only get a general idea of when he'd be home, never a specific date.

We spent the weekend with dad, and mom, and had a long dinner with DD. Turns out dad really DID think she was going to Afghanistan. Politics aside, he was just ignorant of world geography to think Qatar was a city in Afghanistan, not an independent country in north Africa. He's updated his post - but still thinks it's nearly criminal to send any 18 year old kid anywhere they might get shot at. That I can't argue with.

He also spent a lot of time talking to DD about her posting, and what she expects, and gave her a very useful and thoughtful gift - a knife that they give the USMC but not the USAF when they deploy. DD was very appreciative, both of the thought and the gift.

While we're getting facts straight, Qatar is actually on the Arabian Peninsula, on a smaller peninsula jutting out into the Persian Gulf. It's not that close to North Africa, it's much nearer Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, and (across the Gulf) Iran. Just so you can correct Mr. Political Poster properly .

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If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, librarians are a global threat.

We spent the weekend with dad, and mom, and had a long dinner with DD. Turns out dad really DID think she was going to Afghanistan. Politics aside, he was just ignorant of world geography to think Qatar was a city in Afghanistan, not an independent country in north Africa. He's updated his post - but still thinks it's nearly criminal to send any 18 year old kid anywhere they might get shot at. That I can't argue with.

He also spent a lot of time talking to DD about her posting, and what she expects, and gave her a very useful and thoughtful gift - a knife that they give the USMC but not the USAF when they deploy. DD was very appreciative, both of the thought and the gift.

While we're getting facts straight, Qatar is actually on the Arabian Peninsula, on a smaller peninsula jutting out into the Persian Gulf. It's not that close to North Africa, it's much nearer Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, and (across the Gulf) Iran. Just so you can correct Mr. Political Poster properly .

LOL, thank you - we've been saying "North Africa" to explain it to my elderly MIL who is terrified of anything that even sounds like the Middle East (and no, she's not around my dad, thank heaven!) and I have apparently internalized that knowledge! I just need to print out the big map and post it in my living room so that I can point out the place. :-)