9 Ways Alcohol Ruins Sex

Not a great idea to split a bottle of whiskey before sexy time.

By
Cosmo Frank

Apr 30, 2014

1. It dampens the mood. Even though it makes you want to dance your face off, alcohol is a depressant. A glass or two of wine at dinner might loosen you up, but too much alcohol can cause a big mood crash for you. If you're feeling grouchy, it'll be a lot harder to get in the mood.

2. It decreases sexual desire. Believe it or not, too much alcohol can make you less horny. You might've thought your date was cute after the first beer, but 12 Jägerbombs later you're probably thinking more about how great it's going to feel to pass out in bed.

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3. Whiskey. Dick. Nothing kills the mood like a case of whiskey dick. Alcohol can short-circuit the way your brain communicates with the rest of your body (which is why things don't hurt as much when you're drunk), making boners, um, difficult.

4. It makes it harder to orgasm. Because alcohol dulls sensations, it can make it a lot harder for both men and women to orgasm. So chances are that hot 5 a.m. hookup will end in you both taking a rain check.

5. It makes your sex life worse, in general. People who drink regularly report less satisfaction with their sex lives as a whole. Even with sober sex! Awful.

6. It makes it harder to get wet. Your vagina doesn't lubricate as well when you're drunk, and dry sex sucks. No one wants vulvodynia.

7. Drunk women are less likely to initiate sex. Surprisingly, sober women are actually more daring than drunk women when it comes to suggesting sex. So, guys, if you want to have sex, try a sober date activity.

8. It lowers testosterone. Testosterone is the magic (it is not at all magic) juice that gives men healthy erections and fuels their sex drives. As men drink more alcohol, their bodies produce less testosterone.

9. It makes you set unreasonable expectations. When you're drunk, you usually set unrealistic expectations for your night ("THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST NIGHT EVERRRR!!!!"), thus assuming you're going to have mind-blowing sex even if you can barely stand. Nothing puts a damper on things like crushing disappointment, even if it's unwarranted.