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תקנות פון בלאג: יעדער קען שרייבען תגובות, אבער נישט קיין ניבול פה, באליידיגען אדער סטראשענען, ווער עס וועט נישט איינהאלטען די תקנות וועט מען חוסם זיין..Rules of the Blog: Everybody is welcome to write comments, however no vulgar language, insults or threats will be tolerated, you will be banned immediatelyDo NOT keep changing your Nick when writing comments, I can recognize you and will ban youIf you are aware of any molestation in the Jewish community, please report it to the proper authorities, and then please send us an emil with as many details as possible, so we can follow up and warn the TziburThis Blog is here for a purpose - to fight pedophilia and znus, not for snide remarks, filthy comments or threats

2/07/2016

These
letters were submitted by two sisters who were molested from a very
young age over a period of more than three years by an adult, male
cousin who stayed in their home. These letters speak to the pain and
suffering endured by these young girls, to the trauma that continues to
haunt them, to the sense of betrayal and loss that no child should ever
know.

15 year old sister:

Since the day I was molested my life has never been the same. My life
changed when that filthy monster decided to take advantage of my
innocence. When I was shown pornography I was shocked. They were shown
to me by someone whose appearance was very chassidish. I don't know what
stopped me from telling my parents, but I decided this would be my
secret and I wouldn’t share it with anybody.

Once, when this vicious monster was at our house he somehow made his way
into my bedroom without bothering to get permission or knock on the
door. It was Shabbos so my closet light was on. I was reading with my
closet door open for light. He walked into my room and into my closet so
no one passing in the hallway would be able to see him. I looked up
from my book and wanted to say something but I froze I couldn't believe
what I was seeing. He pulled down his pants. I looked back down to my
book and pretended I was reading, although I couldn't. I was too
disturbed to continue reading. Afterwards, he just walked out as if
nothing happened. I kept having intrusive thoughts and images. I still
could not to tell my parents. If I had known what would happen next I
would have told my parents everything.

What happened next caught me by surprise. I had been warned about these
things, but never in my wildest dreams did I think they could really
happen and definitely not to me. I was in bed and almost sleeping, my
eyes were already closed. Suddenly, the monster entered my room. He
stuck his harmful hands under my pajama shirt and touched my breast. He
said "you have a beautiful body." I had a very difficult time falling
asleep that night. I wanted to put a stop to what was happening. I
didn't want it to continue. Every time a thought or picture would
intrude I would tell myself that I’d tell my parents. But I was too
embarrassed to tell them. I tried to push it out of my head and forget
what happened. The burden of carrying my secret wasn't easy, it just
kept getting harder. I knew one day it would come out, but I didn't know
when. In the end, my parents found out about what had happened through
my sister who was also abused by this same man.

13 Year old sister:

Hi, I am a thirteen year old Chassidic girl who lives in the New York area. I am in eighth grade.

My parents opened our home to a 19 year old cousin of mine who was having numerus issues.

We always assumed he was a quiet boy who couldn’t even hurt a fly.

We slept separately. However, he still managed to lay his hands on me at every opportunity.

I was about nine years old when the molestation actually started. It
lasted for three and a half years – even after he got a married – until
my parents found out by chance.

He molested me. He exposed himself to me. He showed me pornography. He
followed me around everywhere. Even when I went to play outside, he kept
looking out of the window to make sure he wouldn’t miss an opportunity
to touch me. Because I might be coming in for a drink. No one suspected
anything unusual.

My mother now looks back at it and says “Now I know why he was always
pacing up and down the hallways.” He seemed so innocent. My parents
thought it was his nature to pace.

He abused me all over my house, he did it in his bedroom, my bedroom, in
the bathroom, dining room, kitchen and even my parents’ bedroom where I
was hiding from him.

One day, I was walking with my married sister and asked her a question
on one of the porn videos I was shown of him having relations with his
wife. (He touched me also when his wife was in my house.) She asked me
how I came up with such a question being that I was only twelve and a
half years old. I proceeded to tell her about two porn clips that I was
shown. Her reaction was “Did he ever touch you?” With my permission she
told my parents.

My parents tried working it out with my extended family quietly, but her
pleas fell onto deaf ears. They told us it’s our problem not theirs.
Nobody supported us, not even my grandparents.

My parents, my siblings and my youngest aunt fully support me.

Our extended family doesn’t speak to us. They keep on harassing us, and
anything bad that happens in the family, we are always accused of
causing it.

Now, nine months later. We are in the process of resolving it through
the court system. If I will have to go testify. I will be the youngest
religious victim of sexually abuse to go testify. My extended family
will have to learn the hard way that victimizing the victim is not the
correct option to choose. I proudly state that I will be more than glad
to pave the way for many Jewish victims and to open up their sealed
lips. Hopefully they will not have to endure the terrible harassment my
family went through.

It’s hard for me to express how much this has affected me. While it was
happening it killed me in the inside. It has effected every part of my
life, including the way I sleep, think and my relationships. However,
the harassment after the abuse has had a greater effect on me than the
actual abuse.

To anybody who has a case of sexual abuse in their family: listen to the
victim. It’s NOT the victims fault. Support the victim and it will make
it easier for them to recover. Don’t blame the victim. I feel I can’t
recover fully till my extended family will stop harassing my family.

To all the victims of sexual abuse: tell your parents right away. Don’t
wait till it fully kills you in the inside. Take care of it before it
becomes worse. Get the help you need to overcome your trauma. BE STRONG!

JCW has created a supervised email account to which you can send notes of support and encouragement to the sisters.

Let’s let these brave girls know that they have all the support in the world! Email Warriorsisters20@gmail.com or leave a comment on Facebook.