A Seriously Abbreviated Wednesday.

We're Massively Pressed For Time This Morning.So let's get right to it. Today's news starts after the jump.

30-Second U.S. Senate Update (TM):THE MOST CLOSELY WATCHED U.S. SENATE RACE EVER goes all Queer Eye this morning with the revelation that Hermetic Bob apparently photoshopped his old unibrow out of existence for a new campaign advertisement.We reproduce the Before and After below, and will let you judge for yourselves.

Looking pretty sharp. Could it be any more Family Ties?Meanwhile, Wonkette latches on, declaring the start of the Metrosexual Unibrow War. The carnage could be unspeakable. But here's the one thing that struck us: We never knew that Casey used to be the drummer in R.E.M.Can we get a witness?

Losing our religion, indeed.Fly Him To The Moon Dept.Lynn Swann kicks off a statewide fly-around this morning in Harrisburg, where he'll try to parlay the renewed furor over the 2005 pay raises into some kind of traction over Gov. Ed. We're guessing, however, he'll spend most of his time answering questions about running-mate Jim Matthews' accusation that Philly judges give breaks to defense lawyers who contribute to their campaigns.Nonetheless, the tour also takes Swann to Philly, Scranton, Erie, Johnstown and Pittsburgh.

Hope He Never Gets A Ticket Dept.Speaking of the pay raise, the always amusing Rep. Daryl Metcalfe, R-Butler, is circulating legislation that would return judges to their pre-raise salaries when their terms are completed, the online news service Capitolwire reports this morning.Metcalfe said that would get around a section of the state Constitution barring any reduction in judicial pay without a reduction to all "salaried officers" in the state."They ignored the letter of the law," said Metcalfe, who opposed the raises.

More On The Regola Incident:State Sen. Bob Regola, R-Westmoreland, says neither he nor his son had the death of a 14-year-old neighbor, who was found shot to death next to a gun belonging to the southwestern legislator.Through his attorney, Regola released the statement, saying he wanted to address public speculation about the death of Louis Farrell, the Associated Press reported. The teen was found dead on July 22."Neither my son, Bobby, nor I had any involvement in the tragic death of Lou Farrell," Regola said. "I was in Harrisburg during the entire period in
question. Bobby was away from home all
day at Idlewild Park with his girlfriend and her parents; they brought
him home late that night."

The Admiral Vs. The Firefighter:No, it's not the title of a new comic book, or even a young adult adventure story. But it is the headline above a piece in this week's edition of Time magazine that takes a closer look at the 7th Congressional District race between Democrat Joe Sestak (the admiral) and GOP U.S. Rep. Curt Weldon (the firefighter).Columnist Joe Klein observes that there's a "last hurrah" quality to Weldon's bid to hang onto the seat he's held for 20 years. Sestak, meanwhile, can "wax overly
melodramatic," when he speaks (a tedious qualiity to which we can personally attest).There's not much here for anyone who's been paying even a bit of attention. Still, it's an entertaining read.