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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

By The Numbers: Drew Barrymore

My least favorite of the Barrymores (Lionel was the man) Drew has a career going back well into her childhood. I'll be honest, I've never really liked her. But that matters not when examining her resume scientifically. And while the system largely factors out bias, I must confess to be rooting against her.

First a quick rundown for those new to how this all works.

I take all the films an actor or actress has been in and break them down into three categories, 'Good' 'Bad' and 'Ok.' I do not count TV appearances or Made for TV movies. Afterwards a quick analysis will show whether or not they're a good actor by the numbers. Invariably there is a 2-3 +/- point bias on a person to person basis. Also, since 'ok' movies are not bad they count towards the positive column in the overall figuring. If, by the numbers, they fall in the 50 - 60% range, they're a bad actor; 61 - 70% good actor, and 71 - 80% great actor. Anything higher is unlikely, but will be classified as "elite."

But enough talking. Let's see if E.T. can phone her home:

Every so often this column rewards me for being honest and not cheating the system. True her film work does seem to get better with time, but her face also seems to become a little more concave each year. Now, I'm not saying that she is in fact a black hole that is forming on the planet, but then I'm not not saying that either. Still, regardless of the gravitational pull of her face, the numbers don't lie. At 58% positive over 42% negative, she just doesn't have what it takes to put her in the good column. I was actually generous. There were at least two films that were largely hated, that I actually liked.

I agree with Pat. Her real life stories are more interesting than her work. She never appears sober. I also agree with you and would not not say that her face is becoming increasingly concave. Funny post!xoRobyn

I am so glad that she fell into the "not good" category. Anyone who has seen "Lucky You" or whatever where she plays the (I'm convinced mentally challenged) love interest of a world champion poker player knows that her career has been flailing around for some kind of grip on anything that might keep it afloat. Like one of those styrofoam coolers that people chuck off of boats when they're done emptying them of booze that sea turtles and things get trapped in.

That movie did have one redeeming quality, though. The line: "If you're looking for my sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between 'shit' and 'syphilis'."

And that was said by a character who was probably in the movie for about 5 minutes.

Her two appealing performances: as the little sister in E.T., and as the sweet, brain-damaged girl in 50 First Dates. But Spielberg could get a cute performance out of a stone; and Adam Sandler has this jovial warmth that radiates out to even the dimmest co-star. So I think we can safely deny her any credit at all!