When Your Child Goes to The Hospital

In recent years healthcare
professionals and parents have come to understand that a child's life is turned
upside down when they go into hospital. So, since there's a one in two chance your child
will have to stay in a hospital at some stage, we’ve outlined some tips to help
the child, siblings and you, the parents.
You can help your child during
the stay simply by being there. Make sure your child feels they're not alone:
mom, dad, a grandparent, other relative or a close friend should be with them.

Understanding its
effect on childrenOnly 20 years ago, people knew very
little about how much a hospital stay could affect a child's development and
wellbeing. Usually, children were alone during their stay. At one stage,
parents were even told that it would be better if they didn't come to visit
their child, but small children are suddenly separated from their parents, they
react strongly. They cry and look for their mother and father.

Later, when the longed-for parents have
still not returned, the children became passive and apathetic. This behavior
used to be interpreted as a sign that a child had accepted the situation. They
were considered 'easy' children by the staff. But these children were being
harmed by their experience. They felt their parents had let them down. In extreme
cases, they had a hard time committing themselves emotionally to other people
as adults.

Today, we have come to understand these
psychological mechanisms better. A parent will normally stay with their child
in hospital, to make the difficult experience as normal as possible.

What might upset a
child in hospital?

Eating new, unfamiliar food.

New smells.

Strange sounds.

Different routines.

Lots of new, strange people suddenly coming into his or
her life.

How can parents help
make a child's hospital stay less traumatic?There are a number of things you can do
to help your child adjust to a stay in hospital.

Before admissionPrepare your child
before going to the hospital. Get some children's books on the subject and read
them to your child. If your child goes to nursery or school, find out whether
it's possible for some of the children to visit.

Arrange a pre-admission visit the
hospital. Many hospitals arrange
visiting days for children. Parents and children get a guided tour and are told
what it's like to stay in a hospital. They may also be allowed to touch some of
the instruments.

Children often feel safer and more in
control, if they have been to a place before.

Good adviceBuy a toy stethoscope and play 'going
to the hospital' with the child.

Know that even though your child puts
up with a doctor's examination at home, he or she might react differently at
the hospital.

If the child has a toy, or book or an
item of clothing they really love, make sure they have that in hospital with
them.

Whether your child is suddenly taken to
the hospital, or his or her stay is pre-planned, you should prepare yourself by
reading about the subject.

If that is not possible, prepare
yourself by thinking through different situations that might arise. This will
make you feel more in control. Remember
that your child’s hospital stay can be a shock to you, as well as your child.

In hospitalParents should spend as much time as
they want with their child in hospital and fortunately, today, it's possible to
stay with your child 24 hours a day.

If they don't offer, ask the hospital
staff to prepare your child for what's going to happen. Children feel a lot
safer, when things are explained to them.

Ask the staff to show your child some
of the instruments. That will make them familiar objects, instead of just scary
ones, and your child will feel a little more in control.

Good adviceDon't expect your child to 'behave'
when they go into hospital, and never yell at him or her. Often your child isn't in control of his or
her own reactions. Their anger or sadness may be because of fear or pain.

Play with your child at the hospital.
Playing will help them cope with all the strange and unpleasant things that may
be going on.

Fairytales and stories may also help to
make them better, but select them carefully. The good guys have to win!

Games can also provide a nice break
from the serious stuff for you and your child. For an older child, renting a
video or bringing in some computer games might be a good idea because it will
give your child something to do. But don't leave your child alone with the TV
or the computer – watch a video or play a game together.

How can a child react
to a hospital stay?Each child reacts differently to being
in the hospital. Some children feel safe and secure, as long as their parents
are there, while others react badly to a stay in a hospital.

A child may:

suffer nightmares

cry a lot

throw tantrums

refuse to eat

become withdrawn, refusing to have anything to do with
the adults

return to earlier stages of their development and start
sucking their thumb or bedwetting.

Crying and tantrumsIf your child cries, let them express
their fear. Stay with your child. Tell them you understand and that you are not
going to leave. Hold your child in your arms or hold his or her hand. Touch is
soothing.

If your child has a temper tantrum, try
to stay calm, even though it will be hard. Talk quietly to your child. Cuddle
them, if possible.

It is the fear of the unknown that
makes your child react like this. Never tell your child off, but try to calm
them down instead.

Talk to your child as much as possible,
and explain what is going on. Ask the
hospital staff to explain what they are going to do to your child – before they
do it.

It's important to let your child know
the truth. If you do, they will know they can trust you. It is not a good idea
to tell your child that something is not going to hurt, if it is.

Thumb sucking and
bedwettingIf a child sucks their thumb or wets
the bed, it's because they are scared - this is perfectly natural.

Don't tell your child off or tell them
they're too big to be wetting the bed. That will just create more anxiety. Your
child needs security, closeness and the certainty that he or she is not going
to be left alone.

Stay close to your child at all times
so they feel safe. The closeness, along with talking and explaining things,
will create a feeling of security. Let them know that there is at least one
stable and predictable element in his or her life.

If you have to leave the hospital, tell
your child when you will be back. Don't be late!

If your child becomes
withdrawnIf your child becomes withdrawn, it's
because they're so frightened they have almost lost confidence in other people.
It's important that they experience a lot of positive contact.

Talk to them, cuddle them, sing to
them, tickle them and play with them. Do anything you can think of that might
help them come out of their shell.

If you don't succeed, discuss the
problem with the hospital staff.

If your child needs a long stay in
hospital and has problems adjusting to this, a child psychologist may be able
to give helpful advice. This can be arranged by the medical or nursing staff.

SiblingsOther members of the family may also
react badly to their brother or sister suddenly disappearing then reappearing.

Talk to your child’s siblings and
explain to them what is happening or what is going to happen. If you are taking a tour of the hospital,
take the sibling along, too.

Don't be surprised if a sibling reacts
to the stay in similar ways as the child, or worse.

They may have tantrums or wet the bed.

They may become jealous of the
attention their sibling receives.

They, too, need lots of love and
assurance about what's going on and extra patience after the hospital stay
because they get used to having their sibling home.

After a hospital stayA lot of children may still have
nightmares and be a little naughtier than usual, even for a while after
returning home. That is a natural reaction.

If your child
experiences safety, love and closeness in their everyday life, these things
will ebb away. But it might take a couple of weeks.