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What Your Halloween Costume Says About You.

Halloween is over. Now it’s time to reflect on the costume pics that flooded our newsfeeds this weekend. Here are some Halloween costumes and what they say about you.

Anything that can be described as ‘slutty’- You went to your first college Halloween party. You also have some kind of superhuman immunity to the cold.

Which one is the real nurse? Probably the one with the First Aid Kit.

Any type of sweater, jeans and boots- You saw Drake’s Hotline Bling video and needed a quick, easy costume that people will recognize.

Pictured above: Me handing out wicked disses.

Any costume that implies that the person dressed up wants to be blown- You’ve never had sex. You pretend to wear the costume as a joke but, deep down, hope that some girl will legitimately take you up on that offer.

“Hey I heard you’re doing modeling now! Who do you model for?”

Minions- You are an actual minion; a minion to consumerism, a minion to life. You finally decided to acknowledge it.

Look at this fucking corporate shill

Doctor Who- “Follow me on Tumblr!”

LOL Look how nerdy we are!!!

Superheroes– When you’re not dressed up as Superman, Batman, etc., you judge people in your life on whether or not you could take them in a fight.

Pictured Above: My friend Brandon(left) and I(right) as Batman and Bane in 2012.

A Clown- You love Halloween because it is the one time of year that your social awkwardness can instill fear in people.

Frig off, creep.

A Cat– You love Halloween because it is the one time of the year that you can act sassy and people will love it. You wish you could sleep 18 hours a day.

Actual unedited photo of my cat, Luca.

A Witch- Every time you leave the room during a Halloween party, the people around you whisper “You know what? I can see it. It all makes sense now.”

“Classic Brenda shows up to a Halloween party without a costume like the soul sucking…Wait she did? “

Spandex Morph Suits- You don’t care about dressing up. You just want to force people to look at your junk.

Pictured Above: Me(left) and Brandon(right) in 2013. Those are my ribs/sternum.

A Neckbeard– You’re post-ironic. You want people to ask what you are so you can explain to them why your costume is so hip.

Pictured Above: Me(left) and my girlfriend Danielle(right) in 2015. She went as Bing Bong from Inside Out. I couldn’t commit.

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