What happened when he moved in?

After more than a two year courtship, the bf is moving in this week. We are thrilled to be sharing one roof, excited about what it means for the relationship and life in general, but being cautious about running over the other, losing all our individual space/routine and burning out on each other.

Do you live with your partner? Have you lived with a partner? Any tips on cohabitation? What works well for you? What mistakes would you avoid repeating at any cost?

Some of the recent benefits include:* We both like to drink from containers in the fridge* We both prefer to eat dinner on the couch* I am getting WAY more back-rubs * He unloads dishes, picks up dog poop and makes the bed* Waking up next to him

Some of the recent drawbacks:* Dishes tend to stay where they were last touched, not loaded in dishwasher* The assumption that I can get all pen ink and grass stains out of all clothing * Some pee on toilet seat (I could also be to blame * Dirty clothes are stored on floor, not hamper

Take turns doing chores, and if one of you hates doing something and the other doesn't mind, then do what works best for both of you.

Find somewhere safe to hide things from the other one! Living together makes buying gifts for each other ahead of time very difficult.

Do your best to be happy to see each other when you get home from work, even if it was a really bad day. There's nothing worse than having a really bad day and getting home to someone else who's grumpy and a big downer.

1. It's not just your place anymore. 2. Be upfront about your pet peeves. He's not a mind reader and neither are you.3. It's not just your place anymore.4. Figure out how expenses will be handled. 5. It's not just your place anymore.5. Realize that when one of you is sick, you're BOTH sick, even if it's just metaphorically speaking.6. And yes, it's not just YOUR place anymore.

No matter what you think, or how much you love this guy, you will both annoy the shit out of each other. Right now it may not seem that way. Ya, the dirty laundry might be obnoxious now, but in a few months you will be cursing under your breath because he brushes his teeth with the water running, or fills a tea kettle with hot water (HOT WATER!).

Take a breath and prioritize. Work on the things that irk each of you the most and settle into a mutually agreeable level of slovenliness. I am sure you are both upstanding gentlemen, but at home everyone is a pig to some degree. Just be sure to talk about it, realize that neither of you are perfect, and learn to let things go.

Don't take him for granted. Just because he is here now does not mean you should assume he will always be there. That is the biggest problem. People get comtable and forget how to make the other one feel loved, wanted, needed and not just someone you live with...

Tell him, show him everyday how much he means to you..Little notes anything...

great thread -- my bf and i are moving in together this summer, and it's a bit nerve wracking. good luck to you guys!

we went to ikea last weekend and looked at storage systems, a rug, and basically we were "that gay couple at ikea". which was fun, but i'd be lying if i said it's all been easy. he's much more of a "nester" and i really don't care that much about "stuff". the process has been a strain and i worry what that says for the future.

BUT we're going for it anyway. wich me luck -- and good luck to you guys!

In all honesty, you'll learn a ton about each other (and probably a few things about yourself, too). Don't let the sad stories above make you too nervous. Living together may end up being the best thing that's ever happened for your relationship.

When fighting and holding a door shut, so that your partner can't get in and is forced to sleep on the couch, one should be careful to make sure there is not a large blunt object lying around that could serve as a battering ram.

Because you love each other does not mean you are identical in your likes, dislikes. Talk to each other until you think you are sick of talking. Then talk some more.

Get a housekeeping or maid service.

Decide how much you both feel you can comfortably contribute financially to the relationship. Set up a housekeeping checking account for what you do together, and a separate one for saving/planning for the future. USE THEM.

Even if you are not there, out of town on business, whatever: Call twice a day. Preferably morning and night.

"Dance like no one is watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like no one is listening, and live like it's heaven on earth." - Wm Purkey

Congratulations on your cohabitation. Like a lot of other people have said here -- pick your battles. Some things you have to live with, like I have, like clothes on the floor or leaving dirty dishes around. You just get used to that sort of thing. Like a friend of mine said, "Don't sweat the small stuff."

Some things are not negotiable like texting in bed while I'm trying to sleep

My partner and I are buying our first house together. We take possession June 2nd and I'm really happy for both of us. It's very stressful but it's something you have to go into with a plan and make sure all the lines of communication are open.

Communication breeds success in a relationship.

Bill

P.S. For my Canadian friends and those in the States that are in states with common-law equivalence for same-sex couples -- get a cohab agreement. It's the best $350-500 you will spend. Just sets everything out and you know where everyone stands going into a relationship where you're living together.

Seriously, if you're on the same wavelength, if you're really crazy about each other on a pretty consistent basis, then it could possibly be the best thing that ever happens to you. It certainly was for me.

1. It's not just your place anymore. 2. Be upfront about your pet peeves. He's not a mind reader and neither are you.3. It's not just your place anymore.4. Figure out how expenses will be handled. 5. It's not just your place anymore.5. Realize that when one of you is sick, you're BOTH sick, even if it's just metaphorically speaking.6. And yes, it's not just YOUR place anymore.

To add to what ITJock stated -- get a "house" joint checking account and use it to pay for house stuff (utilities, food, etc) and, if possible, contribute equally to it. They you each keep your own private/existing account.

The finance thing can take some time to get comfortable with and while there may be an inclination to throw all your money into one pot, I'd really recommend against it -- at least until you've lived together for a while. Not only is it a lot harder to untangle if things go south, but once it's all in one pot, different spending habits can give rise to anxiety that wasn't there before.

Try to keep this joint account, within reason, with a zero balance. In otherwords, just put enough in there to cover bills and such -- don't try to accumulate anything in it (well for expenses more than a month out).

You can always revisit the arrangement after a year or so, but at a time of transition like this, a slightly conservative approach toward finances may help while you navigate all the other fun popups involved in moving in together.

It's all gonna depend on the personality of you two guyssometimes it works out welltwo people together mesh without any problemMy two Ex's were very much like metwo type A personalities who like everything in their place

or the two of you will get on each other's nerves about everythingI could never live with a guy who liked to lay around the house and do nothing all day or one who was an unrepentant slob

Aftermoving in together( it's been almost 2 years now), my BF claims that since we live together all of the things in the apartment are now equally his ( he didn't have many belongings when we moved in ), I say what was mine before our relationship is still mine, what was his is still his and what we bought together is ours.