Thursday, July 25, 2013

Finally getting around to writing about my long run from last week-a 12-miler, my longest....maybe ever. I got up at 4am on Saturday and ate a peanut butter sandwich, and then went back to bed til 6. Then I got up, got myself outfitted, and hit the road. It was not too bad! I timed my water and gels right-gels at 4 and 8 miles, and I stopped at about 10 at a gas station to pick up a Gatorade. The cashier seemed thrilled to come into contact with an ultra-sweaty customer.

The only issue I had was running too far-I had it mapped out to end up about a quarter mile from home, and walk the rest. To do that, I had to make a turn at 7.5 miles, but my app is set up to notify me at mile breaks. After 7 miles I tried to keep an eye on it, but I got distracted by the marathon and half marathon training groups.

Richmond has a big marathon in November, and they do training groups for it, which I think is great if you need that social outlet and support. Personally, running is my alone time. I put on a podcast (or not) and I set out on my own for a few hours. But I don't judge what works for you, and generally runners are pretty courteous to each other. I get lots of smiles and waves and hellos. The worst thing I usually run into is runners taking up the whole sidewalk, and talking to each other so they're not paying attention to the person (me) coming towards them, thus forcing me into the grass or road. Even that minor thing I can deal with.

But Saturday I had another issue. I was about to cross a road, and there was a group running perpendicular to me, a bit ahead, so they were crossing my path. I didn't look directly at them, but I could see where they were and I had plenty of room to cross. Their group leader was also a very loud, very small woman, so they were hard to miss because she was yelling. So I cross in front of them, with a good six feet between their leader and me. There was never any danger of collision.

But still, leader lady gives me a cross "BE CAREFUL." It was totally unnecessary. As I kept running, I kept thinking about it, and it kept pissing me off more and more. Basically because I could tell what kind of woman she was. If you were in her class at school, she was the group leader who emailed you twenty times a day and wanted to meet at 10am on a Tuesday. She's the friend who feels like she has to pick apart the waiter at dinner. And she's the running coach who feels like she needs a bullhorn to show she's boss. Bitch, this is a public sidewalk and I'll run where I please. Oh, and by the way, she was five foot nothing, maybe 100lbs. Go ahead, sugar, run into me and see which one of us falls down.

Anyway, I got distracted thinking about punching her, and before I knew it, I was at 8 miles, and ended up a mile from home when I was done with my 12. Luckily the boys came to pick me up, because I was beat to hell. Henry's comment was "Mom, you're all sweaty!" Indeed I was. And this weekend's 14 miler promises to be even more fun.

Three weeks to go til my first half marathon. Pulling this off is going to be a pretty big morale boost at this point in my life, and I'm looking forward to it.

Friday, July 19, 2013

I've been spending some time lately seeing how hard it is to pick up freelance writing work to amass a bit more money to have some financial security. I'm pretty lost in this department, but I really want a new bed and have some other expenses coming up, so I'm exploring. I'm not convinced that there's a legitimate way to make money on the internet that doesn't involve me pretending to be a Nigerian prince or taking off my clothes, and neither of those will work because I'm a pretty honest person and also I think people would pay me to put my clothes back on.

But back to the training-had a few decent runs this week, including one with Henry in the stroller. He got a little pissed towards the end but we got to check out some fireflies, and I bribed him with Dinosaur Train. Yes, I am that mom who said my son would NEVER watch TV, and now I have amended that to "My son will NEVER watch TV except when I'm getting ready in the morning, when he needs to chill out before bed, when I need five seconds to get something done, and pretty much any other time I let him watch TV." It's just a lifesaver sometimes. Especially because he's at the point where he wants to play with me, but he requires all my attention, so the days of folding the laundry while playing are OVER. And as much fun as dinosaurs are, I can only make them talk to each other for so long.

I love seeing his little imagination going, though, and listening to him make his toys talk to each other. It's so fun to see a kid with a mind that isn't hampered by any sort of self consciousness or restraint or hell, reality. If he says he's a tiger, then dammit, he's a tiger. And I'd better get on board as the tiger mom.

So I'm off to internet it up, and turn in early because tomorrow is.....the 12-miler. Considering during mile 10 of last week's long run I was calling my map my run app a cunt, this could get interesting. I'm going early to avoid the ungodly heat, and also to save people's ears from my inevitable profanity. If you see a really slow girl trucking along tomorrow morning, wave! Just kidding, I won't notice you. I'll be concentrating on not falling down.

Monday, July 15, 2013

So yeah, I skipped Sunday. Mainly because it's my recovery day running-wise, so I didn't have too much fun to write about, except being so sore I thought my quads might just fall off. I wrote my biomedical engineering brother to ask him why Percocet wasn't over the counter, and he advised me to take tylenol or ibuprofen. I assured him that tylenol and ibuprofen are for pussies. Seriously, I ran ten miles, not bumped my knee on an end table.

Yesterday I also ended up at our Urgent Care to get something for my stomach-I have a history of ulcers, and my current situation being a bit stressful led to them acting up a bit. On the plus side, that led to me losing 8 pounds in one week, which, while I"m advised is not healthy, does get me closer to my goal weight. So, you know, silver lining.

Today I had big plans to get up early, knock out a four miler, and then hit they gym for some upper body toning. I like being strong, and I also like my upper arms not looking like honey baked hams. Unfortunately the doctor who gave me my stomach meds took one look at me and realized I hadn't slept in a month, so he prescribed me something for that. I slept clean through my alarm, which is weird because normally I'm the lightest sleeper ever- an ant farts and I'm up for the night. I'm lucky I woke up at 6, in time to get ready for work and get the kiddo to school. Off to work, and then to my acupuncturist.

Go ahead and laugh, plenty of people do, but that lady does wonders for me. And she didn't even stick needles in me this time! She's like a shrink who can help me biologically-although she did say one of the supplements I react well to is earthworm. She said it wasn't the grossest thing they use in Chinese medicine, so naturally I asked what the grossest thing was. A

Apparently some Chinese doctors use flying squirrel poop. I see so many things wrong with this . How do you know the poop you find is from flying squirrels? How do you get it in the first place? What, exactly, is medicinal about it?

But I just took earthworm, so maybe I won't talk.

After I got home I had a relaxing half hour run with Henry in the stroller, as he shrieked "FASTER" and I calmly explained to him 47 times that Mommy was going to have to train a lot harder to get faster. At this point I rank somewhere between tree sloth and dead tree sloth, speed wise.

Hey, I"m getting out there, and that's important. Tomorrow, the alarm volume goes up and I get this mess over with in the morning so I can spend my evenings drinking and looking at porn.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Yeah, I know, it's been a while. But now I have a pressing need to write, and a pressing reason to. I'll be running a half marathon in a month, and I figured updating this thing daily will help keep me accountable to my training and to my writing, which I've vowed to do more often. There's lots of reasons for both of these, mainly because I'm going through a pretty difficult personal time (which no, I will not be elaborating on here, or most places for that matter) and now that I'm too old and have too much to do to deal with hangovers, drinking it away isn't an option.

So I'm going to take another path I've used in the past-exercise myself to exhaustion. I'll be updating this daily (I hope) but not posting the links, so check back every so often.

I signed up for this race months ago, because I need something to train for to keep me on track. I've run on and off my whole life, it seems like. My mom used to kick us out of the house in our Keds to "go run a few laps" which, I think, was less about her concerns about our health and more about the fact that she had four kids and wanted us out of the house before she fucking killed one of us. I've never been that fast, and in the past few years I've packed on a bit of weight, so I sign up for races. My diet and training have been hit or miss, but I decided with one month to go, I could do a lot of cleaning up in both areas.

That brings me to the first piece of advice I'd have-don't radically change your diet one day before you're scheduled for your first 10 mile run in....probably 8 years. Or else you too will utter the phrase "Keep your phone near you, because I haven't ruled out shitting my pants." Sure, more vegetables are great, but any diet change has the potential to wreak havoc on your digestive system, as it did mine.

After those issues were resolved I threw on my running clothes and shoes, strapped on the iPhone, loaded up the Map My Run app, and started a podcast. Those things are a lifesaver-Aisha Tyler's Girl on Guy is about the perfect length. And is not sexual, though it sounds it. (I guess this could be a plus or a minus, depending on your taste.)

The run itself went pretty well, though towards the end I got pretty anxious to hear my app say "Distance, X miles" to tell me I was actually progressing and not running backwards. Like I said, I'm not fast. And I may have shrieked "SAY TEN MILES, YOU CUNT!" towards the end to the automated voice. But I only said it in my head. I think.

Now I'm on the couch with sore feet and Richard Pryor's Live on Sunset Strip playing, and I'm planning on being asleep before the credits roll. More tomorrow, when I will, no doubt, be too sore to sit on the toilet.

About Me

This started as a mom blog that I was doing to stave off boredom for the three months I was home on maternity leave, morphed into a page I bitched on once a month after I went back to work, and is now in its third incarnation:
Blog tracking single mom as she navigates divorce, single parenthood, potential dating, and other hilarious and simultaneously depressing topics. But in a funny way!