Suspecting a cheating spouse is hard on the nerves, make you angry and depressed, and can be a very difficult situation to face. While there are a lot of telltale signs that signify that your spouse is cheating, you always want to be sure about your suspicions before you confront them. Not only does having no evidence make your case virtually a write off; you may end up pushing your spouse to do the unthinkable if they are not actually doing it in the first place.

Step One – Listen to Your Gut

The “gut” provides an instinct which is nearly almost always right. People have a way of picking up certain subconscious markers and processing that information without actively thinking about it. This manifests itself as your instinct and is something that our modernized society often ignores. If something doesn’t feel right, chances are it isn’t.

Step Two – Collect Your Evidence

If you are certain that you are going to go forward on this route, you will need to collect evidence of any affairs. Purchase a notebook where you can record any inconsistencies of your spouse’s stories. Write down dates, times, names you hear, or general suspicions so that you can break down their typical week and see everything methodically. The whole intention of this exercise is to be able to pick out irregularities in their schedules so you can concentrate your efforts in this approach. Look for patterns or dramatic changes in behavior as both can be signals of affairs such as showers in the middle of the day on Tuesdays, or prank calls before going out for an hour.

Step Three – Keep Your Cool

Undoubtedly, if you find anything that signifies a cheating spouse but could be a simple coincidence, keep your mouth shut for now so that you don’t tip off your spouse. You want to signs readily available so that you can read and understand them immediately. If your spouse begins hiding things, it will become nearly impossible to do any further digging.

Step Four – Confrontation

Most people will not admit to something as heinous as to having an affair unless you virtually catch them in the act; even then most people will immediately lie. Keeping your detailed notebook up to date will enable you to ask all the hard questions and let your spouse know you did your homework. Be sure to take everything into consideration – if all the excuses check out give it more time to gather evidence. Don’t jump to conclusions prematurely just because your emotions are on a rollercoaster ride.