Archive for the Haggard Category

Katie Price is getting old and her plastic surgery doesn’t seem like it is keeping up with the aging process no matter how hard she tries.

Sure, she still has her stupid tits that distract you from all else wrong with her, but her face looks pretty hacked up and tired, but I guess that’s what happens when your career is based on getting fucked up at parties and getting fucked in sex tapes before doing stupid photoshoot and marrying a gay dude who was under the impression you were a man because of the bulge you have in your pants….

So I guess her dress that looks like the puke covered snow outside my local bar, you know a wide variety of colors of puke you don’t really want to put in your mouth or eat, kinda the same feelings you’d have when faced with her pussy….

But we watched her come up, we might as well watch her fall and that concludes our review of short lived pathetic careers.

This is the face of a fresh faced “Spring Chicken” excited to take on the world after being given the opportunity of a lifetime to move to LA and star on her very own TV show after about 20 years of kilos and kilos of cocaine, bottles upon bottles of booze, a couple of babies, a whole lot of cock, and hepatitis. I wish they sold that in bottle, cuz it sounds a lot more fun than it looks….

Haggard, weathered and old and still holding on….too scared to hang up her implants and fake hair….and I guess I’m not complaining, cuz I’ve fucked a hell of a lot worse….

I never understood the Rachel Hunter appeal when she was big in the 80s, I always just assumed it was a glitch in the modeling agency process, like she squeezed in because at the time plus sized models didn’t exist, but SI needed someone with tits and she was eager or some shit, you know a right time, right place situation, but then Rod Stewart swept her up, because one day when he was feeling hetero he picked up the issue of SI and said get me the biggest blonde in here to reaffirm to the public that I am all fuckin’ man, and chose her because she was the one who looked most like his first love he met in a gay bath house named “Roger” but pronounced “RawJay”, like he was french, but really nothing but a poof.

Either way, she’s still around, she looks like hell, and if you jerked off to her 20 years ago, here’s the aftermath.

Fergie is looking old and haggard a little pre-maturely and it’s all thanks to meth addiction and not a math addiction, because Fergie doesn’t know how to count.

Either way, we all know that despite how bad drugs are for us and how they make our skin fall off our faces, they are a hell of a lot of fun and in Fergie’s defense, she’s managed to get out of it and make all kinds of money before the shit showed up on her hardened face. So even if she did bow down because none of us want to bend her over our stained couches and eat her stained asshole for days, she’s pretty much set for life and can head back to the pipe to deal with the loss that was people jerking off to her when performing, and the real tragedy is that she will never end up on the stripper circuit where her performances would be a hit and where real addicts belong because she made it to the big screen, when it should have been left on the street corner, if you know what I mean. Because I don’t.

Here are some pictures of Tara Reid showing up an hour late for work in Vancouver probably from a late night drinking. I am running late today too and it’s probably for the same reason. Based on what she’s wearing, you’d think she was showing up for the afternoon shift at the strip club and not showing up to some movie set.

I used to park outside the strip club back when I had a driver’s license and my neighbor’s car keys, before getting charged with a DUI and losing that shit and leaving my neighbor’s shit box on the side of the highway, and all the daytime strippers would show up like this. They’d be wearing their club slut coat, with track pants and a haggard face from an abusive night before, only to get inside and take the shit off for a dude who pays them 10 dollars a song, which rarely happened because it was the afternoon shift. I guess there are a lot of similarities between Tara Reid’s career and an afternoon stripper, because makin’ money rarely happens which is too bad because she still owes money on her implants she bought on credit.

Either way, I am not a fashionable person. I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong and I generally don’t give a fuck about what a girl is wearing, I am more into what a girl isn’t wearing and how I am going to get them to take off whatever they are wearing to do a little dance for me. But that’s just because I love dancing.

I know Greek girls are supposed to have big child bearing asses and that’s why they take it up the ass so easily, so it’s possible that these Jennifer Aniston shots are some kind of optical illusion and she’s really rockin’ a XXL, but by the looks of it, she’s in a XXS and shit’s barely covering her ass. Maybe next time she’ll get it right and use the bikini bottoms to cover the real offensiveness in these pictures and that’s her face. I am talking busted down pick-up truck face that reminds me of last week’s kitchen garbage or maybe even an old catcher’s mitt, but her body is pretty banging and I do my best to not hate on bitches with hot bodies, even if they look like they were mauled by a bear when camping as a child or some shit…

I was out in some random club in some random town with some random people. I ended up there by getting in the car with people I didn’t really know and going for the ride because they were cool with taking me along with them and I was pretty tired of being downtown and ready for a change in the outskirts of hell. It turns out that the outskirts of hell attracts a hell of a lot of slutty looking girls who like talking to random people, not so much me because I look like an overweight mountain man and chicks that have bleached hair and fake tits and halter tops get enough of that at work when old men like me pay them 10 dollars a song to grab their tits…Either way, at one point in the night these 3 ugly chicks all with fake tits were doing shots in the corner. I wanted to join in but they weren’t having it but I did get to listen to their conversation and all they were talking about were their fake tits, how many CCs they had in each, who their doctor was, whether they had sensation back and all this fake tit shit. It was like seeing three guys with the same car randomly meet in the shopping center parking lot and start comparing their engines…..

Aniston may not have fake tits, but she does have hot tits, and that’s pretty much the end of this post. I’d ask for your feedback, but I really don’t give a fuck about what you think. Asshole.

I know Greek girls are supposed to have big child bearing asses and that’s why they take it up the ass so easily, so it’s possible that these Jennifer Aniston shots are some kind of optical illusion and she’s really rockin’ a XXL, but by the looks of it, she’s in a XXS and shit’s barely covering her ass. Maybe next time she’ll get it right and use the bikini bottoms to cover the real offensiveness in these pictures and that’s her face. I am talking busted down pick-up truck face that reminds me of last week’s kitchen garbage or maybe even an old catcher’s mitt, but her body is pretty banging and I do my best to not hate on bitches with hot bodies, even if they look like they were mauled by a bear when camping as a child or some shit…

I was out in some random club in some random town with some random people. I ended up there by getting in the car with people I didn’t really know and going for the ride because they were cool with taking me along with them and I was pretty tired of being downtown and ready for a change in the outskirts of hell. It turns out that the outskirts of hell attracts a hell of a lot of slutty looking girls who like talking to random people, not so much me because I look like an overweight mountain man and chicks that have bleached hair and fake tits and halter tops get enough of that at work when old men like me pay them 10 dollars a song to grab their tits…Either way, at one point in the night these 3 ugly chicks all with fake tits were doing shots in the corner. I wanted to join in but they weren’t having it but I did get to listen to their conversation and all they were talking about were their fake tits, how many CCs they had in each, who their doctor was, whether they had sensation back and all this fake tit shit. It was like seeing three guys with the same car randomly meet in the shopping center parking lot and start comparing their engines…..

Aniston may not have fake tits, but she does have hot tits, and that’s pretty much the end of this post. I’d ask for your feedback, but I really don’t give a fuck about what you think. Asshole.