Welcome

Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the
symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription
is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with
secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the
"Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating
in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic
Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages,
including our "How is HIV
Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A
Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to
all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I
Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account
to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding
and future support of the best online support service for people living with,
affected by and at risk for HIV.

A few weeks ago a guy that I was seeing came over and we started to fool around. I got fingered by him (was fairly brief) and then there was some frottage. What concerns me is that he pushed his penis to a spot right near my anus very hard, so much so that it started to really hurt. Once it started to get really painful I asked him to stop he did, I asked him later if he did possibly penetrate me and he was sure that he hadn't. That it was only his finger. This is was all very brief because as soon as I started to feel pain he backed off. If there was this very brief penetration what are my risks and should I needing to be test at the earliest convenience? Thanks

Kyle, you're giving mixed information here. If there was penetration that was a risk and you need to test at 13 weeks. Frottage is not penetration. Fingering might include penetration but it's not a risk.

We weren't standing over you watching what was going on.

It doesn't sound to me as if there was penetration but you have to decide whether there was or not and what you are comfortable with about this incident. You also need to stay awake to what is happening when you have sex so that you don't have to be thinking afterwards about whether something happened or didn't.

The other guy said there was no penetration. If you agree then forget about it and get on with your life. If you aren't sure then get tested at 13 weeks and collect what I expect will be a negative result since IF penetration took place it was very brief and wouldn't have involved ejaculation.

There was a lot of frottage going on while we were together. IE his dick got really close to me, it was only for this brief period that he really started to push hard near my anus, thats when it really started to hurt is because he was pushing down on it (my legs were on his shoulders) but as far as I could tell he didn't actually penetrate me. I have also pushed with my finger on that same spot right near my anus and pushing on that spot is the same pain that I had felt when he pushed his dick there. I think I was just worried about there being very brief penetration (it wouldn't have been more than a split second at the most) before I asked him to stop because of the pain. He also said that while we were fooling around that it hadn't went in. He said he had never had sex without a condom.

I also asked him his status and he has also insisted that he is HIV negative and gets tested routinely because of his job (Canadian Military).

What the other guy says about his status doesn't mean borscht. YOU are the person responsible for your own health. Even a well meaning person may not know his accurate status so yOU have to stay awake to what is happening.

From what you have added it doesn't seem to me that penetration took place. With that in mind I don't see any further cause for concern nor for testing.

I routinely get tested every six months anyways. I have also been in contact with him and he says he is sure that there was no penetration involved, I was pretty sure there was none to begin with anyways. So thanks for clarification.

I recently had an encounter where anal was involved. There was a condom on, and I am 100% sure the condom was on when I withdrew and there were no holes as I inspected thoroughly. There was lots of lube used however the lube used was expired! This was my fault, I checked the condom expiry date and it was fine. The condom was 100% on my penis when I withdrew and I think that is the most important thing? There were no holes and the condom stayed on. I know that the expired lube could have potentially compromised the condom but again I inspected it more than once and there were no gaping holes, it was on me and that was the most important thing correct? Any cause for concern? Thanks.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Just for further clarification, upon further examination there seems to be to me what seems like dried blood or minor fecal matter in some parts of the condom... I can't really tell too much if this was on the outside of the condom, if these things were inside the condom (though I don't know how it could have really got in because it was on fairly tight when I took it off) would this indeed pose a risk tomorrow? But again when I examine the condom i cant tell if this was the inside or the outside of the condom. If you could help me out it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

What, did you save the darned thing so you could examine it under a microscope at your lesiure?

You used a condom. It was tight. Nothing got inside of it. It didn't break. You didn't have a risk.

We're not here to hold your hand every time you have sex. You've been coming here long enough now to have learned and understood the basics. Re-read your thread, the Transmission lesson and the condom/lube links until this stuff sinks in.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I had messed around with a guy on New Year's Eve. We performed oral sex on each other (he was uncut) and rimming. All told this lasted about two hours I ejaculated near his ass but never actually penetrated him. There was no reason to worry about this particular incident is there? Thanks.

I had been feeling run down with a headache and stomachache but went to the dr. this morning and it was strep throat.

I just got tested and checked out as negative a few weeks ago and will go again in about six months time. Thanks.

just double checking, I engaged in some oral sex that was mutual, I didn't recriprocate for very long (maybe 20 seconds max), my only question was the ejaculation, I was sitting on top of him while he waws ejaculating and he was laying on his back, I wasn't straddling him but when he did eventually ejaculate some of it did land on in between my ass as I was sitting on top of him, but that was the top crack part of the anus (it was also cleaned up RIGHT away) but none of it did go inside my anus as he did NOT at any point penetrate me. Is any of this a cause for concern when it comes to HIV for me? Thanks.

I know it's been a long time but I just want to come back and double check and make sure. I had sex a couple of nights ago, I wore a condom and used KY (purified water based), the condom was put on correctly (little tip at the end of the condom) and I KNOW the condom did NOT break I remember looking at it a couple times just to make sure, and it did NOT break. The only thing is when he finished and took himself off of me, I cant quite remember (we were both sober, no alcohol, drugs or poppers), I am almost entirely certain that I took the condom off and ejaculated myself, if condoms are worn properly they don't just slip off especially when lube is used? I just owe this to bad short term memory. I think in this case I am 100% alright, I will go for my yearly test in April and see how it goes.

As I thought, I mean in this case the ONLY risk would have been slippage, but condoms don't just slip off when they are worn correctly and lots of lube is used correct? I also an ENTIRELY certain that the condom did NOT slip into his ass, as I said I am almost entirely certain that I pulled the condom off and jacked off and finished up, the condom did ALSO not break so I think in this case I'm just fine.

I have used condoms EVERY time since my first time and never had one break fortuantely. In this case the condom did NOT break and that I am 100% certain of, as MtD said slippage is not an issue. There was lots of lube used too. I know that the condom did also not slip into his ass after we were done either (IE after he pulled himself off) I'm almost certain I pulled the condom off and finished up. so if thats the case I know I'm ok, so thanks for confirming. I of course will still go and get tested in April (as part of my yearly routine tests). Thanks again.

I don't see any reason to expect anything other than a negative result in April.

In the meantime, given your demonstrated propensity to worry and frett about HIV issues. I strongly urge you to focus on other matters in your life. It will help the time before testing to go much more easily than you may imagine is possible.

It was safe sex so I don't expect anything other than that result as well, the condom was on, no slippage, no breakage, so in this case I'm good to go, out of site, out of mind until April when I go in for my yearly testing.

I'm sure I am probably just worrying about this stupidly, but just one last double check, Andy you said that as long as the head of my penis was covered than I am fine, just hypothetically what if it wasn't? IE what if the condom slipped off into his ass? I am almost entirely certain in this case that did NOT happen. There was KY lube (water based) and the condom went on correctly (I made sure the tip was there too), I was still inserted in him when he ejaculated and then he slowly took himself off of me, that is where I am slightly fretting. I am entirely certain there was nothing pulled out of his ass, the condom was put on correctly and lots of lube was used and if that was the case it could have NOT slipped off correct? I believe this was a no risk situation where I pulled off the condom and finished and if thats the case, then Im fine, go get my test, and then I'll be set in April.

We're simply not going to get into the very slippery territory of head games about WHAT IFs.

From what you have described I don't see any factual information to think the condom had slipped off of the head of your penis.

Again, I expect you to test negative based on what you have reported. You REALLY do need to work on focusing on other things while you are waiting to test. We're not going to have a back and forth everytime you have another burst of anxiety. Really.

When I break it down and think back logically, the more i realize is that it was virtually impossible for the condom to have slipped off, the condom was put on me, I ensured to double check that the condom was put on correctly (the tip to let the air out was there) and I made sure of it, he lubed up the condom with KY and then I was ridden for about 8-10 minutes, he finished up and then slowly pulled himself off of me, I believe with it properly worn that I would have then pulled it off, because I finished up, and remember not worrying about it because I believe it had been completely safe. I examined the condom after and there was no damage or breakage, I expect to test negatively as well, but that is what happened, so I believe that the condom did NOT slip off, therefore I expect a negative test as well, hopefully that provides incite.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

It's been a while but I just wanted to post a very quick question which I probably already know the answer to..

Back about 3 weeks ago, I fooled around with someone I had in the past. Long story short, he briefly performed oral sex on me, and then I put a condom on, made sure it was on correctly with the air left at the tip and lots of water based lube.

However and this is probably my own stupid anxiety, He only lasted about 2-3 minutes before he came. I know he pulled off and I finished up myself..

I know the condom never broke, but in this case I'm fuzzy on if the condom slipped on or not, I asked him that night just to make sure and he said that yeah it stayed on. I'm 99.9% sure it would have stayed on.

1) Slippage is not an issue based on this correct?2) Expect nothing but a negative test when I go again in 3 months?

It's been a while but I just wanted to post a very quick question which I probably already know the answer to..

Back about 3 weeks ago, I fooled around with someone I had in the past. Long story short, he briefly performed oral sex on me, and then I put a condom on, made sure it was on correctly with the air left at the tip and lots of water based lube.

However and this is probably my own stupid anxiety, He only lasted about 2-3 minutes before he came. I know he pulled off and I finished up myself..

I know the condom never broke, but in this case I'm fuzzy on if the condom slipped on or not, I asked him that night just to make sure and he said that yeah it stayed on. I'm 99.9% sure it would have stayed on.

1) Slippage is not an issue based on this correct?2) Expect nothing but a negative test when I go again in 3 months?

And as you have been warned before, you need to be applying the information you have been given so many times to your ongoing sex life. ...instead of running here again with another "quick question" everytime you get it on with another guy.

It's been a long time but I wanted to come back just to confirm something. I of course for any sexual encounters always use lots of water based lube and condoms, always play safe, but there's one particular encounter I keep replaying in my head for some reason and I wanted to get an assessment of what the actual risk may have been.

Back in December I had an encounter with a guy, We engaged in him performing oral sex on me, now I know that's not an HIV risk, no one ever got the virus from getting a blowjob. What I'm worried about is when I was laying on my back he climbed on top of me and we started making out, obviously my dick would have been near his ass, I'm pretty certain I moved it away on purpose but I'm not 100% certain if it maybe slightly penetrated him (or what's called dipping), it would not have fully penetrated him and it have been VERY brief because he moved into another position and he proceeded to perform oral on me again.

Having spoken with him after he says I didn't penetrate him, and I asked him his HIV Status to which he replied he is negative, I'm going to go get tested at the 13 Week in March (due for testing then anyways), would my risk be very small in this case?

If you had penetrated him, you wouldn't be guessing about it. You'd know. What you describe is frottage, and frottage isn't a risk.

Good to hear that you're going for a routine test soon - that's what you're supposed to be doing. Don't forget to get checked out for all the other, MUCH more easily transmitted STIs while you're there.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I didn't think I'd be back, I practice only safe sex, I get tested every six months or so but something happened yesterday I just want to clarify on just to be sure.

Yesterday, I hung out with a guy all we did was some mutual ejaculation which of course is not a risk, what I have questions about is when we were cuddling, we were both naked and I was lying behind him, he kept pulling my non-erect penis towards his anus which I was not comfortable with because I don't like to take any chances. There was possibly a split second where he may have pushed the top of my penis close or into his anus, but again, I wasn't erect, and it was only a split-second literally before I pulled away and told him I wasn't comfortable with that. I plan to go in for testing in 3 months (that's when i'm due to go), I just wanted to get my own risk assessment.

If you had penetrated him, you wouldn't be guessing about it. You'd know. What you describe is frottage, and frottage isn't a risk.

Good to hear that you're going for a routine test soon - that's what you're supposed to be doing. Don't forget to get checked out for all the other, MUCH more easily transmitted STIs while you're there.

This forum is not here for you obsessively go over all the details of your latest sexual encounter. You used a condom. You did not have a risk. Get over it already.

It has been suggested to you here in the past that you seek counselling for your problems. I'm suggesting this to you again.

I'm also giving you a second time out to encourage you to get the face-to-face help you need. We cannot provide that type of support in this setting.

Your time out will last for 56 days this time. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann

I have quoted Ann once again . You have been given more opportunity's to learn the facts about HIV than any other poster I can remember and that ends now . You need to get some help for your HIV phobia , we cant help you . Im wishing you the best but Im going to have to ban you because you have had ample warning and continue to post the same questions that have already addressed .