The Complicated Heart

This podcast is magnificent. It is weighted and deep and has adult and hard topics. It is grief and pain and heartbreak. AND Jesus. Jesus in real, presence, hand-on-face nearness. it is answers. And breath.

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Questions or comments? Email podcast@sarahmae.com

Loved this episode? Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

“Choose freedom.”

-Cathy Bowman

Today I’m talking with Cathy Bowman, wise woman, mentor, and wife and co-leader to Dave Bowman, the Navigator Collegiate Mission Director for the campuses in and around Atlanta, GA. We talk about how to deal with our lies so we don’t put them on our children.

Quotes from Cathy

Our worth and value is only dependent on how Christ sees us, and that is as righteous.

You, right now, will never be more righteous in Jesus' eyes then you were when you accepted Christ.

Links

Scriptures

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

John 14:6 (NIV)

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Galatians 5:1 (NIV)

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

More About Cathy

Cathy is wife to Dave Bowman who is the Navigator Collegiate Mission Director for the campuses in and around Atlanta. They are also Navigator Trainer Coaches for the BlueRidge Region (6 states) which means they visit each of the 10 campuses in the Region and help with training of younger staff. Dave co-leads their local Collegiate National Training as well. They have 4 grandchildren: 7, 6, 4 and 5 months and live in Woodstock, GA near Atlanta, and love it.

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Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

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Encouraged by this episode?

Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

I loved Shawn’s book and I had lot’s of questions for him about refugees and what he has learned through getting to know a Syrian refugee. I think, if you’re like me and you have questions, you’re going to love this conversation.

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Encouraged by this episode?

Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

“It’s so important for me that when my kids go to bed they know that they are loved and that I have time for them.”

Today I’m talking with Jessica Turner about how to thrive as a working mom. In our conversation you’ll hear us talking about her book, Stretched Too Thin (which you can get for only $1.99 this month by heading HERE), guilt, freedom, and the power of understanding rubber and glass balls (you’ll love this).

Questions or comments? Email podcast@sarahmae.com

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Encouraged by this episode?

Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Today I’m talking with Tam Hodge, a friend of mine and the author of the book, And Now I choose, and she’s joined by her daughter, Kass. Tam is here to tell her abortion story and how she told her daughter Kass about it.

Questions or comments? Email podcast@sarahmae.com

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Encouraged by this episode?

Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

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Encouraged by this episode?

Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

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Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Questions or comments?

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Encouraged by this episode?

Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Today on the podcast I’m beginning a series on the complicated nature of women and abortion. I’m going to talk about abortion and teen pregnancy and post-abortion counseling and telling our kids about our abortion. I’m talking about this because sometimes the church doesn’t...at least not in ways so many women may need to hear about it and know they aren’t alone. It’s good and honest and real and you don’t have to put up walls or be afraid to listen. I know that nearly 1 in 4 of you have had an abortions, and most of you have never told or talked about it. This podcast series is a safe way to start your own journey of healing, or continue on it.

Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Loved this episode?

Loved this episode? Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much!

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

You can also listen on:

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

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Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Today on the show I’m talking with Grace is for Sinners author Serena Woods. This is a three-part interview. Listen below.

Serena’s story takes us through three acts, if you will. Act one, part 1, is today, and I’m talking with Serena about her “bad beginning” as she calls it in her book.

This episode is not appropriate for children. I also want to give you a heads up that the content in this episode deals with childhood sexual and physical abuse, as well as rape. Below I tell you exactly where those hard parts are so if you’d like, you can skip over them and still be able to hear the rest of the podcast.

Skip the Hard Parts

Serena talks about her childhood sexual abuse between 12:41 - 14:10

Serena talks about the physical abuse by her stepdad 15:18 - 18:22

Serena briefly mentions her rape at 31:12 - 31:50

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Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Loved this episode? Head over to iTunes to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so please if you like the show, take a minute and give it a review. Thank you so much! If you want to know more, check out sarahmae.com/thecomplicatedheartpodcast.

You can also listen on:

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Today on the show is Justin and Trisha Davis, founders of Refine Us Ministries, a ministry that focuses on helping to build healthy marriages and families. Today we’re going to hear their story. We’re going to hear what led to Justin having an affair, how Trisha forgave him, and where they are today.

Show Notes Coming Soon!

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Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Today I’m talking with my friends Carlos and Amanda Vargas about the “hell” season of their marriage (her words), and how they had to come to terms with unresolved sexual sin in their marriage and what it looked like to get on the path to healing.

I’ve known Amanda and Carlos for years, we are in-real-life friends, and I am inspired and grateful for their humility and honesty about their marriage and what they’ve gone through, and where they are now. To listen, click below.

Show Notes!

Highlights:

An emotional affair [15:55]Carlos on growing up with a dad in prison [19:00]Why did Amanda stay in the relationship? [22:50]

“I have got to find my identity in God. I have got to stop trying to find my identity in my husband and I need to start looking at my own life and say, “What are areas that I need to grow in?” [24:53]

“Turning from focusing on him and the things that he was doing wrong, accepting that it is out of my control to change him and that only the Holy Spirit can do that. And starting to focus on what God wanted to change, in my self, and my relationship and identity in God, is really what made me realize that I can stay and that God can work through me and through Carlos, and He can bring about redemption in our marriage. ” [25:40]

“When God says children are a blessing, they really are a blessing.” [28:50]

“I think that, pornography is one of the biggest leading causes to affairs.” [33:30]

“Be the person you are looking for, for somebody else.” [44:45]

“Let’s be honest about everything. If there is something that we aren’t telling each other, then that is something the enemy can use against us, to start something else. So we are really big on honesty, communication and boundaries.” [53:03]

“If you are finding your identity and putting your trust in God, then ultimately the outcome is up to Him.” [56:50]

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

In today’s episode, which is part 1 in a new series on marriage, you’re going to hear from Allison Fallon, a woman who made the decision to leave her abusive husband. Read more below in the show notes.

Highlights

An overview of Allison’s marriage [4:35]When our bodies carry shame our brains don’t know how to communicate [8:00]When marriage feels like a prison [12:28]The lies we tell ourselves [17:40]The moment Allison left [23:50]The fears of leaving the relationship [31:09]How do you know if a relationship is emotionally abusive? [36:00] Allison’s relationship with God [51:50]Allison’s transformational moment [55:56]The slow pace of healing [58:55]What to do if you are in an abusive relationship [1:03:00]

“Writing is such an incredible powerful way for people to transform their own stories in their lives, I think it is valuable for anyone to try.” [3:43]

“The power of shame is that it doesn’t have words attached to it. It’s one of the most powerful things we feel. It dictates our behavior more then just about anything else.” [8:12]

“Our bodies hold truths our minds can’t yet understand” [11:30]

“Relationships are mirrors, they are reflecting us back to ourselves.” [16:10]

“Being honest with ourselves takes a ton of resilience to shame. Because, we have to look at our selves really honestly. It takes a lot of emotional heavy lifting. We’ve got to actually be willing to do our own work. To get over our selfs and to let our ego be crushed again and again. To face embarrassment and to learn what it feels like to be really lonely and not try to fill the space with just anything that’s there.” [18:17]

“Little girls will transfer all their power and identity to someone else and will hand the keys over to someone else really quickly and hop in the passengers seat. A woman has to sit in the drivers seat of her own life and you have to decide which direction you are going. You have to own your mistakes.” [20:10]

“The truth hurts, yes, but it is our only way to freedom, because its the only think that puts us back in touch with the reality of what is actually happening.” [24:50]

“No matter where you are, or what you are doing, or what kind of relationship you are in, you need to know that you have a choice. The minute you know you have choices, is the minute that find all freedom and power you have been looking for and waiting for.” [28:17]

“Anytime you are in a situation with someone who makes you feel like they are the answer to all your problems, they have the access, the money, the power, the whatever, to get you where you are trying to go. You know that you are being manipulated. You just know, it’s not true.” [33:13]

“Isolation and privacy are the absolutely enemy of growth” [38:35]

“If you are being physically abused, you need to make an exit plan ASAP.” [45:12] “The most loving thing we can do for anyone is to give them their process. It’s about making space for someone to be in process” [52:33]

“The pain that we are trying so hard to avoid is the medicine. It’s here to teach us and to heal us, if we can let it move through us.” [54:24]

“When you fall apart, you finally don’t have to hold it together anymore." [58:27]

“We have two choices, we can hold on and be miserable or surrender to the fire that purifies.” [58:37]

“The call of the human heart is to come back home to the father.” [1:02:43]

The Blessing: [1:04:48]

May you grow every day in the knowledge of Gods love for you. May that knowledge bring you great healing. And through that healing, may you become all you were intended to be.

Resources

Onsite - Onsite provides a safe, loving, family environment where guests can break the cycles that hold them back and rediscover themselves and their relationships.

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Get The Mug Letter

Every two weeks, on a Tuesday (Tuesday is such a sweet day, isn’t it? Monday has passed and Tuesday feels like…yes, I’d like an email from Sarah Mae on this day), I’m going to share with you some things I want to share with you. Just because, you’re my long-distance friends, and if you were my close-up friend, we’d have some coffee or tea together, in our favorite mugs of course, and we’d share the things we’re digging right now.

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Quotes:

“Grief is the process of letting go of our expectations.” [7:00]

“Grief is the process of facing reality.” [9:06]

“Our dreams are not necessarily Gods dreams for us.” [10:52]

“When we make our dreams into gods, we get into trouble.” [11:26]

“The adventure is to look with anticipation for where God is taking us, even it if takes us away from what we thought our dream would look like. That God’s goodness will lead us into something even better, then when we first thought.” [11:40]

“In Gods economy, grieving leads to wisdom.” [19:31]

“When you can say, “my identity is unchanging, because of who God has created me to be and my relationship with God, through Christ,” then it makes it easier to let go of situations.” [21:38]

“Part of the process of growing and maturing, is learning to tolerate that emotions won’t kill you.” [26:20]

“Life is suppose to be about the process of growing in the wisdom of the Lord.” [40:55]

“Tim Keller- defines wisdom in a great way. He says, “It’s the competence to deal with the complex realities of life.’” [41:25]

Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.

Show Notes

Special Guest Amy Smoker:

A pastor’s wife for 15 years and a mother to 5, Amy Smoker believes in encouraging women. She’s a speaker, a lover of words and the Word, an avid reader, and a writer of actual letters with actual stamps. She’d like to say that she has a degree, but Hurricane Katrina washed away her college in her last semester. She’s no stranger to hard or sudden change; she moved nine times in the first ten years of her marriage, has stood on the foundation of her own hurricane-devastated house, and has known untimely loss. She understands that suffering and joy can run side-by-side like rails on the same train track and hopes that her words hold the hands of those who are aching. She counts it a great privilege to inspire and help women recognize the touch of the divine in the ordinary, in the easy, or in the difficult—wherever they might be. For right where we are, there He is.

Highlights:

Amy’s first loss and the devastating way she handled it, not knowing what else to do [5:55]

Amy’s second big loss [8:00]

Amy’s third traumatic loss [13:05]

Amy’s fourth crisis [17:12]

Amy’s fifth loss [18:43]

What Amy has learned through grief and lament [23:08]

The pathway to the Lord’s heart [24:30]

What Amy has to say to the woman who has suffered great devastation in her life. [39:02]

Key Scripture:

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you…” Isaiah 66:13

Quotes:

“A key to knowing Jesus, is needing Jesus.” [5:00]

“Grief is letting go of something you once had and that you can no longer have.” [23:25]

“We are not only taught to lament in the scriptures, we are invited to do it, because the Lord knows it is a pathway to His heart.” [24:30]

“Our emotions are the voice of our heart.” [29:54]

“I have never been low enough, that I didn’t have something I knew to be true of the Lord.” [34:18]

“When we experience the Lord through hard times, we come to know Him on a level that we can’t get by reading a book, or listening to a sermon or going to a conference.” [36:13]

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Sarah Mae spends her days home-making, home-educating, writing, reading, and drinking salted caramel mochas. Her family embraces life in the beautiful Amish country-side of Pennsylvania. She is the owner of the community site Allume and the co-host of the national Christian women’s social media conference.