Isabella, one of my two favourite models, was at Pete’s life drawing group on Saturday. She is so beautiful and so comfortable with herself that she’s a joy to draw, plus she can hold a pose completely still… unlike Michelle…

Now, for future reference when you (I) come back and read this again and compare it with future work: Pete has been making us all start each session with contour drawing (not taking eyes off model to look at the paper) to make us really LOOK, which was frustrating until I let go of the compulsion to try and produce a ‘nice picture’ out of each pose, because all contour drawing gives you is a load of unconnected but interesting bits. Anyway, the contour drawing has been useful, and my drawings in general have become a lot less cursory (c.f. Isabella’s hair in this one compared with one from the Tuesday night group) *but* I now find I’m losing the confidence I used to have in my line. Each stroke is now more hesitant and flows less well.

Also, now that Pete has made us use the ‘bit by bit’ technique to ensure proportions and relative distances are accurate, I feel like I’m losing my ability to just ‘do it by eye’ as I used to.

Am feeling a bit caught between two approaches – not really mastering either. Having said that, my work is still better than anyone else in the class. Is that arrogant? Probably. Fuck it, who cares? Noone else is reading this, I’ve checked and it doesn’t show up if my name is googled and I already know how much I veer between thinking my work is good and thinking its immature crap. Question is, will I dare to do an Open Studio this time next year? And am I going to take Pete and David’s hints and develop more of the erotic side of the work or leave it nice and safely anodyne rather than exposing myself through it?

Need to buy some pastels for next week: can’t remember the colours Pete had. I should have written them down. D’oh!