I am who I want to be – not who someone else wants me to be

I wrote this exactly a year ago and I am sharing this again!!!
And today it’s even more significant than 365 years ago

Yesterday I was told that people think of me as strange because I smile. Because I find happiness and beauty in the little things…
People thought of me the same way in Germany/Austria. People are all the same way. But why should I change to make them happy by me being unhappy about little things I normally find joy in???
It’s my nature.

I choose to be happy. Believe me, I could complain about thousand things. But I chose not to because I have the privilege to make the most out of my life and out of who and what I am. I wear things every day that other people would only wear on stage.
I make myself beautiful by feeling beautiful. What’s on the inside goes to the outside. If I feel like wearing a long golden dress at daytime, I will (I’m still searching for it but there is no doubt that it will be in my posession very soon because I manifestate it in my dreams)
My life IS a musical/a dream. My world, the world my soul lives in, is miraculas every day. Why should it not be???
Am I not allowed to see miracles in every living being, in every breath I take and move I make?
Should I close my eyes or not look at the face of a mother kissing her child?
I am who I am, because of all the experiences I’ve had up to now. Tomorrow I will be someone like today with a few more experiences.
I want to live every moment, in the fullest way possible. With happiness, joy, knowledge of my purpose (and no, that’s not me being a star on Broadway – that’s one of MANY goals)
I feel lucky, I feel beautiful, every move I make is art. If I will like moving to music, I will, doesn’t matter where I am. Even if the music is only in my head.
The reason why people are interfering in other peoples’ life is because they don’t know how to make a “top” story out of their own. So they look for sensations everywhere else, never in their hearts.

Have you ever spoken to yourself? To your soul?
There are days when I record myself on tape, talking to me. Especially if I’ve experienced something powerful/wonder-ful. I remind myself every day how lucky I am. And on some days, when I feel down – I listen to those reminders. I could fill books with stories I’ve gone through in the last (year and) 6 months – and even more books about the years before.
My adventures are better than 9/10 of the ones I see on TV. And why? Because I love being alive and feel it inside of me.
And it hasn’t always been that way. I’ve been through very, very low and bad times. With depressions, feelings of unworthiness, unhappiness – feeling ugly been there, done that.

I chose to take a different step and perspective. One step at a time.
And you know what? Whenever I feel REALLY AWFUL (which I do once in a while) – I will give myself a few minutes to feel that way – go deep into it, very deep – question it – and change my view. And I’m back to days like today.