"The stars are constantly shining, but often we do not see them until the darkest hours."

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Bored

Give me a hammer and some nails....maybe I could make something of myself so I'm not so freakin bored. It's not as though I couldn't find SOMETHING to do. There's a few dishes that could be washed and other general cleaning. The laundry I washed earlier could be put away. What am I doing instead?? Sitting on the couch flipping channels feeling like there is nothing to do. what it really is? There is nothing that I WANT to do. Even worse, I don't even know what I want to do. Part of me wouldn't mind gettin gup and going somewhere. Maybe walk Target or BRU or the mall or something. Then I get up to walk to the bathroom and I'm reminded of the immense pressure I have at the moment and it doesn't sound like such a good idea after all. I've read books, played games online, read blogs, chatted on IM, played more games, watched a movie, took a nap......

I'm getting restless. I'm anxious to have the next couple days over with. Even though I know Tuesday night is going to be horrible and I doubt I'll sleep much in anticipation. I wonder how X will fare that night as well. I hope we're not at each other from being anxious and all that. I'm already going to be on edge after being home by myself all day since J will be in school and X at work. Blah. I need something to do.