11.12.2009

Torture

Yesterday we took Derrick to have his VCUG and kidney ultrasound (as a follow-up from the hospital incident). It went well, but oh my gosh that VCUG was TORTURE to watch and listen to!!

We started out with the kidney ultrasound. That was great. Derrick "helped" the tech maneuver the probe. He didn't pull on it, just held onto it as she looked around. He was just as happy as can be "helping" her check out his insides. She said from what she could tell his kidneys looked fine. Yay!

Gulp.

Then came the VCUG. I was already nervous. When he was cathetherized in the ER, it was a nightmare, so I was not looking forward to him being hurt again. But I was also scared to death that they were going to find something else wrong with my baby's anatomy. Terrified that he was going to have to go through yet another procedure or surgery or find something else to watch and wait for...

Really, just paranoid in general. But when we walked in and I saw the BOARD he was going to be strapped to, oh my! I knew then that this was NOT going to be good! Thankfully, the cathetherization went much better than last time, but I know D was still uncomfortable. Especially when they strapped him down.

They injected fluid to watch the flow of his urinary tract and he had to be tilted on this board so they could get pictures from different angles. I held his little head as they tilted him and he screamed. (Picture rotisserie chicken. Yep, that's exactly what it looked like. And it wasn't funny at all.) They said that everything appeared normal from what they could tell, but that a doctor would read the x-rays and they'd let us know in a day or so.

It's times like this that make me feel so guilty. I know there's nothing I can do about it, but I feel so bad for the things Derrick (and lots of other kids) have to go through. It seems like one thing after the other that he has to feel pain from. If I could trade places with him I would do it in a second. It's too bad he has to be the one poked and prodded all of the time. Sometimes it's overwhelming to watch him so innocently playing and knowing that you're getting ready to hand him over to someone who will turn his little world upside down. It's so hard not to tell the people to just stop and leave him alone. But, I just cry with him and bite my lip, praying I don't say something I shouldn't.

Today we went for D's six month check-up. He's now 25 3/4 inches long and in the 20th percentile for length. That's HUGE for him! He only weighed 13 lbs 4 oz, which puts him at ZERO for weight, but who's counting...right?

I wish.

It looks like we're starting our every two week weight checks again. Dr. Bonnett didn't say he was concerned, but by him asking us to come back, we're pretty sure he is. He gave us the ok to give D whatever he would eat. Food off our plates that we could smash up...whatever. His caloric needs have to be met, especially with surgery looming.

Dr. Bonnett was impressed with how well D is sitting up and that he's clapping and dancing. He's very pleased with how he's doing overall, if we could just win this eating battle.

Derrick thought this visit was much better than the one he had yesterday. He like's Dr. Bonnett's "toys." Maybe he's practicing for his medical career!?

The visit was all fun and games until it came time for the shots. Then it got ugly. He got three regular shots and his first round of the H1N1 vaccine. Fun stuff.

Wow...this ended up being pretty long. Sorry!! :)

Oh, one more thing. For those of you who have been wanting to leave a comment but have had some trouble...under our signature where it says"'posted by the Carter's at (a time) # comments," just click on "# comments." That will show you comments other people have written so scroll down to the end of those. Write your message in the box and choose "anonymous" from the "comment as" drop-down menu. Just don't forget to sign your name! Then click "post comment" and it will ask you to type in the secret word. That's it!! (I know, I know. Carepages is easier, but give this a chance and you'll see that it's not so bad.)

Thanks so much for all of your support. We love you all!!!

9 comments:

IT IS SO HARD TO WATCH THEM TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS STUFF. BLESS UR HEART, I COULD BARELY LOOK AT THE PICS MYSELF OF SWEET LIL D. PRAISE GOD THE TEST CAME BACK GOOD. I DON'T GUESS IT WILL EVER GET EASIER...I CRY EVERY TIME. LOVE YA GIRL! RHONDA ~ HE IS SUCH A CUTIE PIE!!

Oh makes my heart break seeing him all strapped down like that. How those memories loom over my head too. We would all trade with our kiddos, but then who would be the Heart mom they need? You are amazing and you are doing this. Here if you need anything and yes I am still watching that video of D dancing!!! LOL I just love it. Heart Hugs, Love, and Blessings, Jessica

Way to go with bringing the camera! :) I know it feels silly taking pictures of them like that, but you get used to it and you get so you just don't care what people think! :) It's a good record of their experiences and really shows what they've been through and how miraculous they are! :)