People & Inspiration

Daily Diaries: What To Do If Your Best Friend Has A New Best Friend

It might be because of a fight or one of you has just gotten so busy with your life. Either way, finding out your best friend has found a new best friend sucks. Sadly, some people just really grow apart, but what's harder is when it's with someone you least expected to lose.

Maybe it's their new neighbor or blockmate that they started spending more time with. But don't worry because there are still things that you can do to make the situation better. Although it sounds impossible, you can still save your friendship! Here are our tips:

1. Make an effort to see each other more.

Sometimes, just like in romantic relationships, friendships couldn't survive in long distance or in a minimal communication set-up. You might have moved to a different city or school which led to spending less time together. Of course, you would feel much closer to the person you spend time with 24/7 than the person you rarely get a chance to see. That's why falling out happens when one friend isn't around as they used to be. Instead of focusing on the bad, try your best to make an effort to show your best friend why you were friends to begin with like making time to call them or meet up in a coffee shop to update each other about everything.

2. Address the issue with your best friend.

Before, it's not hard to talk to your best friend about your feelings, but now things are not like they used to be anymore. Still, addressing the issue is better than shrugging it off and pretending everything's okay when it's not. You wouldn't want to see your friendship become totally non-existent as days pass by, right? What you can do is tell them the things that are bothering you about your friendship and the reasons that led to this. You never know, maybe your best friend is just waiting for you to make a move and this might help clear problems that weren't really an issue in the first place.

3. The reality is that your best friend can have other best friends, too.

If you're one of the people who only has one best friend, that's okay. But you have to accept that there are people that have more than one best friend, and that's also completely normal. It doesn't mean that they love the other more than they love you because unlike in relationships, best friends are not entirely committed to one another as friends are there to be your own support system not someone to marry someday. Your best friend is the person who knows you more than you know yourself and loves you anyway even if they have seen the worst side of you. And if your best friend still cares for you that way then maybe there's really nothing you should worry about.

4. Make friends with their new best friend.

Of course, as much as you want to do it, you just can't break your best friend and their new best friend apart for your selfish reasons. That's why instead of plotting something bad, just join their friendship! Honestly, it wouldn't be hard for you to do it since you're already close with one of them and we're sure you would find something in common with their new best friend since they wouldn't be close in the first place if you're not similar to them in some ways.

5. Accept that friendships evolve over time.

We had to put this to the last because this is the final resort that you can do to end the pain that you're feeling. Well, this is the reality we're in. There are friendships that grow stronger each day, and there are friendships that weakens over time—and that's normal. Maybe you both enjoy watching horror movies, but they prefer rom-com now. Perhaps, you used to like breakfast dates, but you prefer dinner dates now. The things you two enjoy together might have changed already, and you just simply outgrew each other unconsciously. Whether you like it or not, there's no use in saving something that you can't really control.

There's no easy way to cope with broken friendships. You can't force your best friend to go back to the way they used to be, and you can't force yourself either. If it made your friendship deeper and more meaningful, then good for you. But if it just broke you apart, then it's better to let go of the person you once enjoyed hanging out with, and accept that some things don't last.