One Man. One Woman. Two Completely Different Worlds …………… (A Humor Blog About Marriage)

Posts Tagged ‘baby rearing’

Some of you may recall that I like to make up silly songs…. HERE is a link to a very old post, if you don’t remember or are a new reader.

If you’ve decided not to go back and read that post here’s the gist – I think everyone should have a life filled with song. I like to sing old commercial jingles. I like to sing cheesy 70s songs. I occasionally make up words to traditional music that appropriately matches whatever inane task I am doing. Hubby has a stick up his a………. ok… maybe that was too harsh……. Hubby is a stick in the mud. Ok, that’s not actually true at all………….. But hubby does have a distinct response to my behavior that resembles something like eye rolls and sideways glances………… Yeah, that’s about right. Hubby doesn’t have “silly” in him. He has fun. He has entertaining. He has amusing. Delight. Funny. Witty. Engaging. Comical….. you get the picture. BUT, he doesn’t really do silly. I think underneath that tough(ish) exterior he enjoys silly (he did marry me after all) but he doesn’t DO silly.

So anyway… add a baby to your life and all of a sudden “silly” becomes acceptable. Maybe even expected. UNTIL, I apparently take it too far……….

Everyone knows the “Wheels on the Bus” song. And, the beauty of this song it that it’s just so dang easy to change the words. I have put everything imaginable on the bus. There have been grandma’s saying “hush”, babies saying “waaaaaah”, mommies saying “I love you” …..all the traditional bus items: doors, windows, wipers, gas, coins and so on….

But then one day, I all of a sudden have animals on the bus………… And then, while hubby was listening, I added a chicken……. “bock, bock, bock”. And he said, from across the room….

“Stop That Bus!”

“Did you just say there was a chicken on the bus?”

“Uhm, yeah” I replied

And he said, “ What are you teaching him??…. There are not chickens on buses.”

“Well, there is a chicken on MY bus” I said, with all the rigor of a mom being challenged

To which he of course, responds…. “Where is your bus….in India?”

“Maybe. Or maybe, it’s just down the road, and it’s a bus that happens to have chickens”

Humph… he replies..

And off I go, continuing to sing…

“The lion on the bus says ROAR, ROAR, RO…..”

“Hold on…. There’s a lion on the bus??” he interjects

“Yep, this bus has chickens AND lions. And you know what, they get along famously…………..”

“There are no lions on the bus.” He declares (a smirk growing on his face……….)

“How do you know what’s on my bus? If you want to change what’s on the bus, you sing the song………..”

Humph… he replies again.

And then I continue on my merry way filling the bus with “silliness”…..

Now I feel the need to incorporate Daddy into my song, who obviously has no imagination and no ability to sing silly songs (which is ironic given the tall tale he told our neighbors kids about Joe the Cricket Herder… but I digress….)

“The Daddy on the bus says…. Get. Me. Off!”

“Hang on” hubby says “Did you listen to what you just said??”

“Yes, the Daddy doesn’t want to be on the FUN bus with all the animals” I reply

And hubby says again…. “No. Did you actuallylisten to what you said?”

“Oh, uhm…. Welllllll, that’s not what I meant………..get your mind out of the gutter…………”

“You just put a pedophile on the bus……..”

“Oh good lord.” I say to hubby…. and I look back to the baby (who is happily enjoying my rendition of the song) and say “The people on the bus, they kick Dad off… kick Dad off… kick Dad off…………..”

And, the #1 thing a man can hear, while sleeping…. The sales clerk changing the shelf price of a 72” tv at the local Best Buy to be “on sale”

What does this all mean?? It simply means that unless I kick hubby in the middle of the night while I’m holding the screaming baby up against the side of his head… he will not hear him (or so he says…..)

And, just to prove a point, I googled this phenomenon. And, found THIS article. And holy crap, it actually justified all of the above (DANG IT!) And, since you know how things go in my house, it’s probably no surprise that hubby likes to refer me back to this article anytime I start to complain……………