The I Perspective

Let's look at another element of a good approach: Letting her get to know you a little.
When I approach a woman I want her to joke around, share her opinions, reveal a weakness. I want her to be her real self. I can't find her sexy if I don't get to know her a bit. Random conversations have a chance to spark into something more exciting when people begin to reveal themselves. But if I try to force that stuff out of her with lots of questions she will clam up.

The only way I can get her to open up is to lead by example. Most of us are taught from a young age not to talk too much about ourselves. And though it is true that self-absorbtion is not an attractive quality, the first few minutes of approaching a stranger are different. The rules of polite society are turned on their head. It is actually nicer to talk about yourself. Women don't want to reveal themselves to a stranger. So don't be a stranger. Use the 'I' word as soon as possible, "I feel this, I think that, I walked across the street and bought an ice cream.' Talk from your own perspective and she will soon be using her own 'I' word.

I once met a gorgeous actress in a long line at Starbucks on Melrose avenue in Los Angeles. My opening was, "I hate you." That was risky. She could have kicked me in the groin with her boots. But I smiled and she got the joke... I simply hated her for being in front of me in a long line. With a little bit of myself out there this made her feel comfortable enough to continue the conversation. We sat down to share our drinks, she told me she just broke up with her boyfriend and 'pow" we had a date.

You can visibly see someone relax when you use the 'I' word. They feel as if they know you a little.