CLASSICAL GAS --
Technology Update: THE DRAIN BRAIN

An inside glimpse at what's new in emerging technologies

by Stephen Drew

The world has been waiting for an intelligent garbage disposal unit. The
promised wasteland may now be within sight.

Winchester Digital Systems has demonstrated a prototype unit that it calls
the "drain brain." The drain brain detects the presence of indigestible
items such as pots, spoons, rutabagas and eyeglasses. It identifies and
rejects items based on their acoustical signatures, rather than on chemical
composition, electromagnetic properties, or tactile or visual analysis.
Wags have dubbed the technology "garbage wars."

The unit itself is small, but includes a surprising amount of miniaturized
acoustical and electrical equipment. "We supply everything but the
kitchen sink," joked Michael Sussman, the firm's founder and principal
scientist. Sussman says the drain brain technology is more reliable and
far less expensive than competing approaches that use "Strategic Missile
Defense Initiative" technology to identify and destroy incoming objects.

The drain brain does not attempt to destroy indigestible objects. Instead,
it ejects them. Sussman points out that "this can be a substantial
advantage if you've accidentally dropped valuable jewelery, coins, or plutonium
into the sink."

The technology is not quite ready for market, however. Sussman says that
"one problem is it doesn't work well for fingers. An early test showed
that by the time you detect the acoustic signature of the finger, it's too
late."

Winchester Digital's new quality control engineer, Adam Baum, is confident
that the problem can be solved. "It's only fingers that seem to cause
trouble," he said. "so if we have to, we'll just switch to analog
technology."