05 March, 2008

I was always suspicious when Kevin Keegan was announced back at the Newcastle reigns, but now it all becomes clear; what Keegan was doing for the past few years when he claimed he wasn’t watching football; why the team is still so shite; and why he insists on rocking such a ridiculous silver-fox-bouffant hairstyle.

Keegan is trying to reinvent himself as a model; a male model no less too. Yes, last night saw his very first catwalk appearance, showing off some beautiful Irish fashions (surely a contradiction in terms?) to help Newcastle keeper Shay Given and his wife raise money for charity. The Givens aimed to raise £250,000 for cancer charities by roping in various members of the drop-dead gorgeous squad to show off the hip threads, but it was Keegan who stole the show. Given enthusiastically said: “It's great the lads are chipping in!” Keegan himself was unavailable for comment, but was last seen retiring to the men’s toilet with some other modeling pals who all seemed to have really bad colds. STT would like to wish Kevin all the best in his new career path and suggests that the sooner he masters his own version of ‘Blue Steel,’ the better off everyone else will be. Newcastle football club especially.