They say that when a child is born, the mother is born. As a
stay-at-home, homeschooling mother to three daughters (one of whom was
recently diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum), I have seen that
with each child that I have borne into the world, I have experienced
myself to be reborn as a mother and transformed as a woman. Each new
life that we birth into this world is completely unique and completely
individual, just as each mother who bears them is completely unique and
individual.

When Kim asked me to blog in her space on mothering, I knew right away that my message to mothers would be this: mother intuitively.

You
see so many people these days are trying to find out who they are and just
what their purpose is. There are so many women looking outside of
themselves for their identity, comparing themselves to other women and
mothers, even comparing their children to other children.

When we
decided to become mothers, we didn't know just what our lives would look
like. Before we are born as a mother, we can imagine what our life will
be like as we travel this long and laborious road mothering our
children, but with each child I have borne, nothing has ever turned out
the way I have imagined. When in the womb, we can't even accurately
imagine what our children will look like! Mothering comes with an air of
mystery from conception until adulthood and beyond.

Each
of my children are different. Each have their own temperament,
astrology, numerology, and individuality. They each have their likes and
dislikes, their talents and abilities, as well as their strengths and
weaknesses. Each were predestined to be who they are, just as I as their
mother was. Yet we do evolve. Each day brings new changes. Each day
creates more experiences, more memories, more past. Each day it is as if
we are born anew.

Children
do not come with an instruction manual and mothering does not come with
a map (although sometimes we wish otherwise). Rather than looking
outside of ourselves and our families for the answers we need to the
questions that come to us as mothers, why not go within? Why not behold
what is right in front of us with complete and total reverence and see
through the eyes of our intuition?

Each day we change as mothers,
we learn and we grow. Each day our children also gain more life
experiences and evolve into who they were meant to be. Instead of
mothering to live up to some kind of ideal, or to fit into some kind of mold fashioned for us by society, why not use our inborn intuition to
guide us? Why not stop, slow down, and behold what has been given to us
with awakened awe and reverence?

I challenge each mother who reads
this to know themselves and to know their children. We do not need to
be anything but the mothers we were born to be. We are not our mothers,
our sisters, our aunts, our cousins, or our friends. We, as women, are
ourselves and our children are themselves, not us, or anybody else's
children. Stop looking anywhere but within yourself and your own family
for the answers you need for this venerational calling.

"What
once lived among spiritual divine beings descended to live among human
beings. We see the divine manifested in the child. We have the sense of
standing before an altar. But there is one difference; in religious
communities, it is normal for people to bring sacrificial offerings to
their altars, so that those sacrifices can ascend into the spiritual
world. Now, however, we have a sense of standing before an altar turned
the other way; the gods allow their grace to flow down in the form of
divine spiritual beings, so that those beings, acting as messengers of
gods, may reveal what is essentially human on the altar of physical
life. We see in every child the revelation of divine spiritual, cosmic
laws; we see the way God creates in the world. In its highest, most
significant form this is revealed in the child. Hence, every single
child becomes a sacred mystery to us, because every child embodies this
great question. It is not a question of how to educate children to
approach some ideal that has been dreamed up; it is a question of how to
nurture what the gods have sent to us in the earthly world. We come to
see ourselves as helpers of the divine spiritual world, and above all we
learn to ask what will happen if we approach education with this
attitude of mind."
-- Rudolf Steiner, The Need for Understanding the
Human Being, Human Values In Education

24 comments:

Wise words Tiffany. I am the mother of five and just when I thought I knew what I was doing someone would do something new and I was back at ground zero. Motherhood is definitely an adventure and following your intuition helps make the days a lot more pleasant. Your girls are beautiful, I am from a family of three girls and my sisters are my best friends.

Thank you for this Tiffany. All beautifully written and honest. In my work with other mothers--in study groups etc., the things I come back to again and again are, consciousness, observation, intuition and courage, all of which you touched upon here! I find that intuition is hard to find within us nowadays and when we do find it, it takes a lot of courage to listen to it, even when the rest of the world might be doing something else. But when we do, we see the health of our children streaming back to us and it is so fulfilling and validating. Love the Steiner quote as well, one I am unfamiliar with, so thanks for sharing.

Thanks Coco! It definitely takes discipline and a continual striving after consciousness to hear the voice of our intuition and be the women and mothers that we are, rather than living up to some ideal, (even if it an ideal that we have created for ourselves). I love all of Steiner's lectures on education, as we are a Waldorf-inspired homeschooling family and I also think that they are great resources for parents as well. He has so much information about the developing child and the changes of consciousness that they go through at different stages of development. His anthroposophy has been a huge light unto my life, so I just had to share a quote that seemed so fitting for this topic. Human Values in Education is a great resource! I highly recommend that, and all of the Steiner education lectures for those who are interested in the Waldorf education/parenting method. :)

This was a lovely read. I agree, children are different and we mother each of them slightly differently and are changed by each of them too. I only have two children but they are quite dissimilar in most ways and what works with one doesn't always work with the other. I feel like the job is never done, it's always growing and evolving with all of our needs.

Wise words that I'm sure most of us who are well into the adventure of motherhood would completely agree with, but thinking back to my early days with my first I think I would have found it harder to just look inwards and trust myself completely. It's definitely a role I've grown into over the years, as you say we learn and we grow.

I agree. I am much more intuitive now, after having three children and especially after my youngest was diagnosed with autism last year. I have to be intuitive with her because she is non-verbal (at least she doesn't speak any comprehensible words, though she babbles and sings all day long). I think that having a child diagnosed with autism has made me have to be able to read my children. You can't always tell, even with children who do talk, how they really feel about things all the time. Mothering definitely requires a tuning into and a trust in our intuition. Mothering has also peaked my interest in things like astrology birth charts, numerology, temperament, and things after realizing how different they each really are. It is amazing how to the T a lot of that information really is! Thanks for your comment! :)

Welcome to Mothering with Mindfulness. My name is Kim, Waldorf inspired homeschooling mama to one, writer, nature lover, dreamer, and lover of all things handmade. This is my space. A space to share with you my journey through motherhood, as I walk along the path of simple, mindful living. I invite you to join me as I learn and grow.