Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

left behind

So, i have a friend at college and we're from the same town, we used to be pro-ana together, and then we weren't, we were both trying to get better...when we got to college, we both had trouble, then she turned around and decided she was 'going to do well'. although she is still restricting, she is doing well, trying to cut ed out completely (which includes me because that is our main bond)...so, i'm hurt and angry and i feel left behind...i should be happy for her, I AM, i want her to get better, heck I wish that for everyone...but...i feel like she is sick of me, which she is...but, i'm telling myself i don't need friends if i have ana (thats messed up). I feel like a total loner...and i feel pathetic that i have no friends, but when i'm doing what ana wants, i don't care...UGH! I don't know if my feelings towards her are valid or not...and i don't know if i'm a weirdo for really not having friends...i have in the past, but this is a new place and ana is back, so there is no time for friends...AH! am i the only loner??

I want to say something comforting because I can understand that you must be feeling very alone right now but I'm not sure what I can say really. I want to reply though because no one else has and I feel that maybe your not aware of why.
I think the reference to you being 'pro ana' may have put people off of replying. It's something that people who are trying desperately to recover, really don't want to see or hear about.

It sounds like you are very deep into this disorder and if your friend is trying to recover this is probably why she is not as close to you now. I am sure it's not because she is &quot;sick of you&quot; though as you put it. She is probably just very scared of being sucked into that pro ana world again if she is doing well.
I'm sure if you were good friends she is probably missing you too. She may even have hoped that if she made a 'pact' of getting better with you, it would help you to recover too.

Unfortunately Eating Disorders are extremely isolating and I only hope that you can find the strength to fight this illness and leave that pro-ana world behind.

WEll you got a lot of mixed emotions here girly and you know it and you know why. You lost your partner, that is trying to better herself. Rationally, you can't be upset w/ her, but of course your ana is saying &quot;well screw her then, we can do this on our own.&quot;. I don't think that you are pro-ana, I think you have fallen back from your efforts to move forward. Would you be willing to give it a try to work w/ your friend to getting better w/ her? I think that would be great for you. Make it a positive thing. I don't know. I hope you are having a better day.

I just want to say straight off the bat that you should stop calling your ED &quot;ana&quot;. For some, giving your ED a name gives it power and like you just said, it makes it a &quot;friend&quot;.

With that said, EDs in general want to isolate you, that's how they will remain. Without other contact they will thrive, there will be no other interruption in their behaviors. This is something you need to fight. You want to get better so stop allowing yourself to think that isolating is okay. It's not!

You need to talk to your friend, explain your feelings. If she doesn't want to be around you then you need to find a different support. Also, keep in mind that if she relapses you will most likely relapse as well. It's a bit of a shared connection. I know that having ED friends can be very triggering. I had two in high school and I finally said &quot;no&quot; and that I couldn't be around them (just looking at the one was triggering to me).

Please reach out for support from a therapist or counselor, you definately need it right now. YOU CAN BEAT THIS!!!

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