Monday, September 8, 2008

TGIM (thank God it’s Monday). I don’t think I have ever said that in my life!

The weekend was as action-packed as I told you it would be in Friday’s entry. However, I ran out of gas yesterday morning and had to skip the Steeler game. There is only so much abuse the human body can take. Here are some highlights:

We went to a beautiful wedding in a barn on Friday night. The band was great and the chardonnay was flowing. My hairdresser Dicky was in attendance and he gave a lovely speech. One thing he said about the groom really stuck with me. I am paraphrasing, but it was something like “Roger would rather have a new experience than a new possession.” Classy and poignant…that’s my Dicky in a nutshell! If you have to give a speech in the near future, that is a line to plagiarize for sure!

Saturday morning was cruel. A 5:00 am wakeup for the early flight to Philadelphia. We carpooled with the world famous DJ WOW and his fiancée Tara Nassup (not a morning person). By 9:15 am I was in the urban palace of the Oxbig family, vodka and cranberry in hand. We went to brunch (mimosas) then to an Irish bar (Blueberry Stoli and club). I want everyone to know that I have kindled my romance with Blueberry Stoli. Needless to say, by the time we drove to Delaware for the wedding at 4 pm I was three sheets to the wind!

I am Tiddy Ferguson, so I rallied! Wedding #2 of the weekend was something else! There was actually a man in the corner rolling cigars for everyone. By the end of the night, DJ WOW was playing the cowbell and drums and Mister Ferguson had commandeered the bongos. We saw a lot of people from WVU and the bride and groom looked amazing! Unfortunately, they had planned for an outdoor ceremony and Hurricane Hannah reared her ugly head. But it all worked out and everyone had a great time!

We arrived back at our hotel around 1:30 am and took a mere disco nap before we were en route to the airport once again for a 7:15 am flight. To say I was dragging ass at this point would be a gross understatement. I ate a slice of pizza and spent a miserable 40 minutes on the plane trying to contort my body into a position for sleep. It didn’t help matters that Mister Ferguson kept trying to lay his 50 pound head on my shoulder. I almost cried when we touched down in Pittsburgh. I was wearing a Steeler jersey, but informed everyone that I had HAD IT!

I went home to take a nap, but my phone was blowing up with people wanting my shitty football picks. I finally put the phone on silent and proceeded to fall into such a deep sleep it was almost painful to wake up. When I finally woke up, I called my friends at the Osaka Restaurant and ordered broccoli chicken—the dinner portion.

I woke up this morning five pounds heavier than I was on Friday morning. I am hoping I am just full of shit and it is not legitimate fat. I worked out like a bastard today and it felt like punishment for all of the fun I had this weekend!