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Monday, June 25, 2007

IT'S A VOLUME BUSINESS

Since my Jdate subscription is nearing its end, I decided to go out with a bit of a bang. I'd rather not resubscribe because it's just too damn exhausting...and by exhausting, I mean nauseating. I can't read another profile written by a woman whose "friends and family are very important" to her, or by a woman who lists "writer" as her profession, but can only manage to come up with one incoherent sentence in the "About Me" section.

I've been down this road before, though. I don't resubscribe for a few days, or weeks, but then I'm right back in the heat of it. So this time I decided to go a little crazy in order to purge myself of the scourge that is Jdate. I went online and just sat there emailing woman after woman after woman. I was using the type of tough love on myself that a parent might use on a child after catching them smoking. - Lock them in the closet and make them smoke a carton of Camels until they're so sick of it they'll never look at another cigarette again. Of course, I took the time to read each and every profile, and I found something in all of them to reference in my emails. Each correspondence was a well composed, original, often clever (I thought) email. Sucking down a carton of Camels probably would've been less painful, but somehow I survived.

I emailed around 34 women in a twelve hour period, but when I tried to email the 35th, Jdate wouldn't let me. Instead, I received a message saying I've reached my daily email limit. For a second, I thought that this was some sort of mercy message, like Jdate was telling me it was enough already and I should no longer embarrass myself. I figured that Jdate not only knew how many women I emailed in that short period, but it also knew that I got all of one response. It knew that my batting average was .029. If I were a baseball player and Jdate were the Major Leagues, they'd rip up my contract, burn it, and send me down to Tee ball, forget about the Minors.

But Jdate has no such compassion. Hidden deep inside their terms and conditions is a clause stating that they limit daily emails to prevent spam. I can understand that, but I liked it better when I thought Jdate felt sorry for me.

Look at it this way: Job hunters often have to mail 100 resumes before getting an interview or job offer. The 35 messages for a potential wife is peanuts by comparison.

You had asked me previously what I meant by "services." I meant the religious (i.e., attending synagogue) kind. I thought you had made reference to doing that in a previous post, and wanted to know how that was going.

The JDate break is probably good for you. From your posts, you seemed to get pretty frustrated. Find something else to do not necessarily having to do with meeting women. Don't worry, it'll work out, and it will give you something new to talk about when you are ready for more JDate punishment.

However they've now lowered the quota !In their own words to me.JDate has a limit of 30 emails (including missed IM messages), 30 flirts, and 30 e-cards each within a 24 hour period that cannot be exceeded.

I swore off of them 1 year ago. My brotherforced me back in. I'm sorry that I just gave them another $100.