“Join Our Club,” Says Notoriously Exclusive Club

WESTWOOD — On Monday, October 30, members of a notoriously exclusive club were seen on Bruin Walk encouraging random passerby to join their notoriously exclusive club. “UCLA was intimidating at first, but this organization welcomed me with open arms,” explained second-year biology student Charles Dunlap, who joined the notoriously exclusive club last year after submitting an application, interviewing four times, and providing a blood and urine sample for laboratory inspection. “Just be yourself, because our alumni panel of interviewers will know if you’re not after they read your tea leaves and cross-check that with your Myers-Briggs personality code in the second interview. Oh, and don’t forget to write down the right email on your application!” At press time, CALPIRG was also looking for new members.