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NFL Sunday Round-Up: Week 13

This is the perfect place to go and I know you don’t have to constantly be reminded of that.

So without further ado…..

NFL Sunday Round-Up

Most Impressive Teams of the Week

Kansas City Chiefs (9-3) – Oh, you thought Kansas City was going to be tired after playing a tough game against the Denver Broncos on Sunday Night? Silly you. For some reason, the most boring good team in the NFL has turned into the “must see team in the NFL” the last few weeks. This was a huge win for Kansas City as they look to stay 100% in the playoff picture. To go on the road and beat a good Atlanta Falcons team was a major statement. Not only that, but Kansas City did it in impressive fashion and with some great play-calling from Andy Reid. You have to have major stones calling a fake punt for one, but to have that fake punt end up in a touchdown? Huge. The player of the game was easily Eric Berry though. The Chiefs owe this win to Berry who had a magnificent game in his hometown. Berry had a pick-six and also intercepted Atlanta’s two-point conversion to take the lead at the end of the game and ran that all the way back for two points and the win. Just a massive win for Kansas City when they needed it the most.

Detroit Lions (8-4) – I’ve been telling you people for weeks now that the Detroit Lions are the best team in the NFC North and it’s high time you all started paying more attention. I know it’s weird to say the Lions are the best team in the division, but at this point in the season….they absolutely are. Detroit got another big win this weekend and did so on-the-road against a New Orleans Saints team who is trying their best to stay alive in the playoff race. Quit disrespecting the Lions everyone. These guys are for real. How real? I don’t know yet, but I like what I’ve seen so far.

Denver Broncos (8-4) – When you need to stay in the playoff race and the football gods give you BLAKE BORTLES…you know it’s going to be a good week. The Broncos may not have been able to do much offensively in this game, but your offense doesn’t need to be good when your defense plays against the Jaguars offense. This was a big win for Denver as they couldn’t afford anymore slip-ups in a very tight AFC West race.

New England Patriots (10-2) – Oh, you thought the Los Angeles Rams were going to give the Patriots a game this week? That’s cute.

Cincinnati Bengals (4-7-1) – Because the football gods hate the Cincinnati Bengals, we all know how this is going to play out. The Bengals are going to look like crap at the beginning of the year. Then somehow, someway, they will get it figured out and get this thing back to 8-7-1 and will miss the playoffs…..yet save Marvin Lewis’ job. You know it’s going to happen. It started this week when the Bengals took the Eagles behind the woodshed and smothered them. Don’t be surprised to see Cincinnati all of a sudden pile up 5 straight victories as Lewis gets credit for turning it around and probably gets an extension in the process.

Baltimore Ravens (7-5) – Massive win for the Ravens. They not only stopped the Dolphins win streak, but they did so in dominating fashion. Joe Flacco may not be elite, but he was elite this week. Was I a year off from my “Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl pick”? Nah. But these guys definitely look like a potential playoff team after this destruction.

Oakland Raiders (10-2) – And the Raiders do it again. Just when it looked like the Raiders were dead in the water (the Bills had a 24-9 lead at one point), they come back and blow the doors off the Bills by scoring 15 points in the fourth quarter. It really pains me to say this, but what Oakland has done this season is extremely impressive on a lot of different levels. Their quarterback is playing like an MVP. They have a studly offensive line and two wide receivers who are capable of going off at any moment. And even though the defense needs some work, Khalil Mack alone is enough to give NFL offensive coordinators and quarterbacks the chills. It’s amazing how the Raiders have gone from being a joke in the NFL for years and here they sit as the CURRENT #1 seed in the AFC in December. The Raiders are going to the playoffs and there’s a good chance they are Super Bowl contenders. But still….they lost to the Kansas City Chiefs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-5) – The Bucs beat the Chargers to pick up their fourth straight win, which also includes wins over the Chiefs and the Seahawks. Tampa Bay is for real folks. Yes, it took them awhile to get things figured out, but this team is the real deal. What do they have to do to prove it to you? They just beat a decent San Diego team on the road and are now tied with the Atlanta Falcons for first place in the NFC South. I’m officially jumping on the Bucs bandwagon. Which likely means Tampa will lose to the Saints next weekend. Sorry in advance.

Seattle Seahawks (8-3-1) – How do the Seattle Seahawks follow up their most disappointing game of the season (last week’s loss to Tampa Bay where Seattle only mustered up 5 points)? By coming out and destroying last year’s NFC champions, the Carolina Panthers. What a big win for Seattle and a nice statement to the NFC. The Seahawks look and feel like the only team in the NFC that could potentially give the Dallas Cowboys a tough game in the playoffs. That is, if all their important pieces are on the field and healthy and as of right now….that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. Earl Thomas suffered a broken bone during the game this week and he may not only be done for the season, but he might be calling it a career as well. Thomas tweeted out last night that he has a lot of thinking to do, including about retirement. Tweets like that might be a cause for concern for Seattle fans, but Thomas was definitely emotional and in pain when he sent it out. There’s a good chance that he’ll change his mind once he gets fully healthy again, but that’s a big question mark at the moment. If Thomas does retire, the Seahawks are in trouble. He’s the QB of their defense and is an extremely valuable player to this franchise.

Most Disappointing Teams of the Week

Jacksonville Jaguars (2-10) – I don’t know what to say anymore. It’s time to hit the reset button a-g-a-i-n in Jacksonville. It’s time to send Gus Bradley down the road. It’s time to cut Blake Bortles and draft a quality NFL starter. And it’s also time to START WINNING SOME DAMN FOOTBALL GAMES! For fuck’s sake Jaguars. You guys were the hot team in the off-season and once again you’ve turned this thing into a gigantic crap box. Maybe the NFL should step in and do something about this team already? Move them somewhere. Give them a new owner. Maybe their luck will change?

Houston Texans (6-6) – Been telling you guys for weeks that the Houston Texans are garbage. You’re welcome. Brock Osweiler is going to single handily destroy this team’s playoff hopes this year. You know who’s laughing their ass off right now? John Elway. The guy who said “NO” to giving Osweiler a fat contract for good reason.

Los Angeles Rams (4-8) – Man, what a bad weekend for Rams fans. You guys get your asses kicked by Tom Brady and the New England Patriots, but that still wasn’t the worst news of the weekend for the franchise! Oh no. That came before the games even started on Sunday when the Rams announced that they were giving head coach Jeff Fisher a two-year contract extension. Yes, the same Jeff Fisher who has never finished better than 7-9 since joining the Rams and is 31-43-1 all-time as the Rams head coach. He’s the definition of BELOW AVERAGE and the Rams are more than happy to keep him around. Enjoy being BELOW AVERAGE until you kick Fisher’s ass the hell out of Los Angeles, Rams fans.

Philadelphia Eagles (5-7) – Remember when the Eagles were good? Hopefully you do, because they are garbage now. That’s usually what happens to teams who have hot starts that actually aren’t very good. Even when Carson Wentz was on fire early this season, I warned you guys to pump the brakes on him. It’s not rare for rookie QB’s to come in and have immediate success. It’s when the defensive geniuses in the NFL get their hands on hours and hours of video tape and are able to gameplan better and start to see certain quirks that the QB does. That’s when you really get tested as an NFL QB. I think Wentz will be a quality starter in the NFL, I just also thought everyone was a little high on a guy who reminded me a lot of a young Alex Smith.

Miami Dolphins (7-5) – Welp. So much for that win streak, eh? We all knew it was going to come to an end eventually….we just didn’t think it would end like this. What an ugly game for Miami. And after weeks of looking like potentially one of the best teams in the AFC to! This is a very concerning loss for me and I would definitely be worried if I was a Dolphins fan going forward. The Baltimore Ravens are a good team, but they aren’t great and they crushed Miami this weekend. When Joe Flacco’s throwing for four touchdowns against your defense, I don’t feel very good about your playoff chances. This is such a bummer to. I was all high on the Dolphins finally returning to the playoffs after missing out for so long, but after a loss like this one? I’m out on these guys.

Buffalo Bills (6-6) – Man, you guys had the Raiders right where you wanted them! You guys were up 24-9 on the road against a playoff team with a good chance to win the game and vault yourself into the playoff race….and you blew it. How Rex Ryan of you. Look. The Bills are a good little team, but they aren’t going anywhere as long as ol’ Sexy Rexy is in charge. The guy is the exact definition of a “player’s coach” (a guy who would rather get along with the players than be a disciplinarian) and that’s fine, but you can’t be too much of a “player’s coach”. You never get the results you want. Just look at the Bills.

Carolina Panthers (4-8) – The Panthers are done. Stick a fork in them. This ass kicking in Seattle was all I needed to see to start throwing dirt on the Panthers grave. This shouldn’t be the biggest cause for concern for Carolina fans though. Oh no. The biggest cause for concern for Panthers fans is Cam Newton. The guy is broken. He won the MVP award last year and has regressed on the field in an alarming way. Maybe it’s high time he stops thinking more about which stupid outfit he’s going to wear this week and actually start studying game tape? The whole franchise is a disaster just a year after making the Super Bowl. Screw the Madden curse. The Super Bowl Hangover is the new curse that all NFL teams should be afraid of?

NFL Head Coach Stock Watch

Being an NFL head coach is one of the toughest jobs in the world. When your team is winning, everyone loves you. When your team is losing, everyone wants your head on a stake placed in front of the stadium for everyone to spit on. This section of the column will keep tabs of which coaches stocks are exploding and who’s stocks are dropping at a significant rate….

BUY:

Bill Belichick (New England Patriots)

Gary Kubiak (Denver Broncos)

Pete Carroll (Seattle Seahawks)

Jason Garrett (Dallas Cowboys)

Andy Reid (Kansas City Chiefs)

Jack Del Rio (Oakland Raiders)

Dirk Koetter (Tampa Bay Buccaneers)

RISING:

Jim Caldwell (Detroit Lions)

Mike Tomlin (Pittsburgh Steelers)

Mike McCarthy (Green Bay Packers)

Bruce Arians (Arizona Cardinals)

John Harbaugh (Baltimore Ravens)

Mike Mularkey (Tennessee Titans)

DROPPING:

Dan Quinn (Atlanta Falcons)

Jay Gruden (Washington Redskins)

Ben McAdoo (New York Giants)

Rex Ryan (Buffalo Bills)

Ron Rivera (Carolina Panthers)

Mike McCoy (San Diego Chargers)

Sean Payton (New Orleans Saints)

Bill O’Brien (Houston Texans)

Adam Gase (Miami Dolphins)

Mike Zimmer (Minnesota Vikings)

Doug Pederson (Philadelphia Eagles)

Chuck Pagano (Indianapolis Colts)

SELL:

Gus Bradley (Jacksonville Jaguars)

Todd Bowles (New York Jets)

Marvin Lewis (Cincinnati Bengals)

Chip Kelly (San Francisco 49ers)

Hue Jackson (Cleveland Browns)

John Fox (Chicago Bears)

Jeff Fisher (Los Angeles Rams)

The NFL playoffs are right around the corner. It’s what every NFL team aspires for when the season begins. When you arrive at training camp in July/August, you should have every intention of reaching the playoffs, if not….than why are you even playing the game?

This is what the NFL’s playoff picture currently looks like heading into week 13…..