The “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” debuted as a comic book in 1984 and spawned a franchise that included toys, TV shows, films and video games. Nickelodeon recently brought the vigilante reptiles out of the sewers and back onto the airwaves. Now producer Michael Bay (“Transformers”) has done the same in theaters, reanimating them for an origin story accompanied by a barrage of bullets and bodies. And it’s in 3-D!

The Turtles, named for Renaissance painters Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello, reprise their half-shell heroics in stopping Master Shredder (voiced by Danny Woodburn) and his henchmen, the Foot Clan, from unleashing a deadly chemical on New York City. Eager journalist April O’Neil (a miscast Megan Fox) becomes caught up in the mayhem after accidentally seeing the Turtles. Will Arnett (looking like he’d rather be elsewhere) is her wisecracking cameraman. William Fichtner and Whoopi Goldberg also poke their heads out. Jonathan Liebesman (“Wrath of the Titans”) directs from a script by the team of Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec (“Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol”).

Like “Godzilla” earlier this summer, the title characters take their time appearing on screen, forcing paying customers to endure lots of uninteresting set-up before Turtle Power finally kicks in with swords and nunchucks aplenty. It’s loud and has an action-heavy, effects-laden second half, but is this Turtles reboot any good? Depends on who you ask. Some movies are just meant to be reviewed from the perspective of the target audience: a 7-year-old boy. I took my son to see it, and here’s a condensed transcript of our post-viewing conversation. Warning! There are spoilers, but it’s not like you didn’t see them coming:

Q: What did you think?

A: It was good.

Q: What was the best?

A: The fart part.

Q: What else?

A: When they defeated Shredder.

Q: Did you think the movie was scary?

A: No. A baby might be scared.

Q: How did the Turtles look?

A: They looked like giant freaky lizards.

Q: What didn’t you like?

A: April. She was weird. The Foot Clan were funny. April was in, like, every single scene. It was the most annoying-est thing ever.

Q: Anything else you didn’t like?

A: The Turtles are the main people and ... it took a long time to see them.

Q: Were you happy when you finally saw the Turtles?

A: They were fun and cool. Especially Raphael.

Q: Is he the best fighter?

A: No, that’s Leonardo, but Ralph is the most stress [cool under pressure].

Page 2 of 2 - Q: Is the movie like the cartoon you watch on TV?

A: It’s way different. April did not sound like that. They never defeated Shredder. Mikey never farts and Shredder is not a robot, he’s a real person.

Q: Those Turtles sure do love their pizza.

A: Mikey loves pizza. He would do anything for pizza. Like, if Shredder stole his pizza he would be so mad because he loves pizza.

Q: What two things will you tell your friends about the movie?

A: That Mikey farted in the sewer and Shredder got his butt kicked.

Q: Will you see it again

A: I’ll see this again with my friends.

Dana Barbuto may be reached at dbarbuto@ledger.com or follow her on Twitter @dbarbuto_Ledger.