"Everyone at home will be glued to the TV right now" insisted the new Hibs boss, slightly overestimating his popularity with viewers. “Powerful, great stature, athletic, aggressive” raved Rio Ferdinand, as Lennon’s ears visibly burned. Ferdinand looked resplendent in a blue denim shirt that fashionistas are calling ‘Shawshank Chic’.

As Gary Lineker asked “Whose responsibility is it to pick Milik up?”, Lennon strained every sinew not to reply “The missus usually”.

To the game itself, during which Gerry Armstrong insisted "They're really turning the screws on now”, possibly while watching an erotic prison drama on his phone.

"You can see this Northern Ireland side starting to evolve" he claimed later. Alas, as the full time whistle sounded Kyle Lafferty had still not developed opposable thumbs.