This morning, I received an email from Amber (cut and pasted below). I haven't seen Amber in three Saturdays and I admit, I have been worried about her. But seeing how cool she'd been towards me, I didn't contact to check on her. Now, she is reaching out, it seems. The thing that sticks out for me is "our place". Would it be rude to ignore her email?

"hello, long time-no talk! well, i have not been around as you know, keeping busy. what have you been up to, busy? wanna talk to you about something, you can come by our place - Amber"

This morning, I received an email from Amber (cut and pasted below). I haven't seen Amber in three Saturdays and I admit, I have been worried about her. But seeing how cool she'd been towards me, I didn't contact to check on her. Now, she is reaching out, it seems. The thing that sticks out for me is "our place". Would it be rude to ignore her email?

"hello, long time-no talk! well, i have not been around as you know, keeping busy. what have you been up to, busy? wanna talk to you about something, you can come by our place - Amber"

Okay. That's just reeeeeally creepy.

Like really, really creepy. OP is this how amber normally sounds in her emails? Because this is just screaming "fake" to me. Under no circumstances would I go to "their" place but I would do as pp's suggested and see if she will meet with you in public.

I totally had the same question as PPs when reading the latest email, "Is this really how Amber writes?" I may have watched too many Datelines or Cold Case Files and my imagination may be running away with me, but I too wonder if she really sent that email, given her behavior toward you. What could she possibly have to say?

Her reference to "our place" makes it sound like she's living with him. So this probably isn't a case of her 'seeing the light' and asking for your advice on how to disengage from him. Also, it's not like you dated the guy. Your experience with him only extends to internet correspondence and stories from others, so I don't really know what else she might think you could tell her that you haven't already.

You aren't friends and have never socialized outside of volunteering before, so wanting to meet up with you now to chat seems really strange.

I think I'd respond back with a "Nice to hear from you. Been really busy. Is it urgent? Are you planning to volunteer any future Saturdays? Maybe we could chat then."

I would want to have an idea what she wanted to talk about that required a face to face meeting and couldn't be said over sorting clothes on Saturday before I agreed to see her. I would definitely NOT go to "our place" or your place, only neutral, heavily populated territory, as PPs advised.

But if you'd rather ignore the email I don't think that would be rude. If she really needs to speak with you in person she knows where to find you.

I do not think it would be rude to ignore the email. If that's what you're most comfortable doing, then do. And if she calls you on it next time you see her, you can just say "I figured I'd see you here and catch up then."

I agree with the PPs. If you do meet, I would meet on neutral territory. I suspect "The Guy" is the one who sent the text. He wants to give you a piece of his mind. I'm not sure she even knows about it.

I'm wondering if Amber wants you to go to "their place" so she can show you just how "wrong" you were about The Guy. I can imagine you turning up, and them being all over each other, looking smug, holding hands, talking about how special their "love" is, etc. It could be that she wants to rub your face in it.

So I agree with PPs. Don't go to her (their?) house. If you must meet, do so in a neutral place. And be prepared for the fact that she might bring him along too.

I'm wondering if Amber wants you to go to "their place" so she can show you just how "wrong" you were about The Guy. I can imagine you turning up, and them being all over each other, looking smug, holding hands, talking about how special their "love" is, etc. It could be that she wants to rub your face in it.

So I agree with PPs. Don't go to her (their?) house. If you must meet, do so in a neutral place. And be prepared for the fact that she might bring him along too.

Absolutely. This is a setup for her to sit on his lap in front of you and make kissyfaces, just to show you how wrong you were, while imagining how terribly jealous you must be of their Twu Wuv.

Logged

My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

I've decided to ignore the email. Mainly because I am not vested enough to care about whatever she wants to talk about. I certainly would never have gone to "their place" and never, ever would have invited them to mine. Amber and I were never close so the invitation was jinky to me and made me think he was behind it all.

If Amber comes back to the Saturday volunteer work, I can speak with her then.

I've decided to ignore the email. Mainly because I am not vested enough to care about whatever she wants to talk about. I certainly would never have gone to "their place" and never, ever would have invited them to mine. Amber and I were never close so the invitation was jinky to me and made me think he was behind it all.

If Amber comes back to the Saturday volunteer work, I can speak with her then.