I think one thing that might help in this situation is imagining each other complexly. If, as I'm beginning to understand, sexuality and gender are fluid constructs that change and morph throughout your lifetime, doesn't it make sense that even us cishets have at one time or probably will struggle with our sexuality? I think the problem with naming things is that it creates lines, taking something that's fluid and making it solid. This makes it that much harder to cross those lines, I guess.