Technically, we at Celebritology don't know who will win the Oscars for Best Actor and Best Actress. But it seems like a fair bet that Colin Firth and Natalie Portman will have statuettes in their hands on Academy Awards night.

Assuming that's the case, we thought it would be nice to help the respective stars of "The King's Speech" and "Black Swan" write their acceptance speeches.

You can do just that by activating our Firth and Portman speech generators below. Just fill in the list of requested words, a la Mad Libs, then hit the submit button to read the brilliant -- or horribly inappropriate -- remarks you've managed to craft. We thank you for playing. Oh, and we also thank our publicists.