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8.11.2012

{ A Doer or A Dreamer }

Years ago, when our house had a lot fewer feet running around on it’s dirty floors, I thought of myself very much as a “doer”. I had my To Do lists of jobs and cleaning and organizing, my mental list of creative projects, my scrapbooking lists of all those out–of–this-world pages I was making, and I had my family to do list that consisted of outings and vacations, and this and that’s all over town.

As our family grew, my “to dos” grew too, but unfortunately my time seemed to stay the same. All my to-doing became a lot of dreaming instead. My mind would wander with the most fabulous ideas for decorating my house, or making this “thing” that would help things be so much smoother around here, or the best vacation ever we should take. My frustration would grow as my dreamer list would become much longer than even my to do list and certainly longer than my “Done” list. I felt like if I mentioned my dream list to anyone and than didn’t accomplish a single thing than I would be seen as a flake or one who has great ideas, but not a lot of follow through. Man, do I sure envy those follow through kind of people.

As I sat down more than a half a dozen times this summer to work on this forever behind blog of mine (which in on my dream list), I would have a little toddler climb up on my lap and want to help me by happily pounding on the keys. Then I would hear frantic cries of laughter from the door from dripping wet kids who were in need of a towel because they were drenched from the sprinklers out back. Kids would ask to snuggle for a nap, and I would give in. Neighbor kids popped in and out, snacks were consumed by the handfuls, nights were spent way past bed time talking with my older two or being conned into joining someone for “just one more episode’ of America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Those amazing minutes of joy added all together, resulted once again in a large hole in this family blog of mine. This time though, I have realized that the things I might have wished were done on my “to do” list were neglected because I was living the dream. I was in fact doing so much DOING that my dreams were being fulfilled. I had failed to see before that those little things should have always been on my “to do” list. Were there vacations that I still dream about that go untaken? Sure. I still love to dream, and I want our family to have some amazing experiences together in this life. Are there projects that I would love to get to? Always! But, for now I look back at the last few years on this blog and see those big gaping holes smiling back at me reminding me of how much fun I have had in the doing of those things that have been the most important. I see my kids getting to experience me. To be with me, and me with them. What’s a better dream than that.

One of my favorite movies is “Cheaper By the Dozen”, and I love a quote in it at the end. Steve Martin’s character comes to tell his boss that he is resigning as their head coach, to take a job that allows him more time at home with his family. His boss makes the comment, ”Giving up the dream, huh?” to which Steve replies, “No. Just going with a different one.”

Someday I’ll get to that pesky to do list of mine, and along with many other things, I will actually get to write down all these great doings I have got to experience so we can remember them forever. Until then, I have a few more days with my kids before I have to give them back to school-so I am going to relish this time I have in my doing.