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I have this really strange urge to start dating in earnest. Right now, I'm only planning to date other HIV+ folks. For me, the issue of revealing my status is just too much potential drama.

I don't know if I'm wanting to date because I have this deep sense of loneliness, or that I'm horny (have not had sex in like 4 years...some heavy petting....but not good, mind blowing, wonderful sex), OR that I'm horny and lonely.

Can anyone shed some light on my new found Libido?

SECOND QUESTION

I'm a big boy now. I put on the weight during my 8 stressful years of teaching (WOW about 90 pounds). I slowly trying to take it off.

Any ideas on how to attract some love for a big boy?

Even before I knew I was HIV+, dating was not happening. It's not that I have impossible standards (I love all flavors and sizes of God's cornucopia of people). I just don't seem to be able to make that "Connection"

Help! Help! Help!

When you answer, please be gentle..........Right now...I'm a little crazy........

HIV takes many things from us, but not our sex drive. Lots of people love larger men. Bigger guys are very attractive. I find that what makes a person sexy is the vibe they give out more than anything.

A) Its ok to want a romantic/intimate/sexual life. It's even ok to be a whore/slut/person of easy virtue. All in the human condition, ya know

B) If you are happy in YOUR body, then all you need to do it put yourself out there, with confidence, and you will be shocked at how "hot" you end up being

C) If you are NOT happy in your body, no amount of junk will make you confident. Last thing you need is to settle for someone who will rely on a low self esteem in order to be with you. That sort of relationship happens a LOT with HIV infected folks. And it never, ever ends well.

You know the old Serenity prayer and stuff? Well, this is a great example. If you seriously want to alter your body, then start today. Tonight. Find a program and stick to it. Being healthy will never betray you. And bonus, a healthy body resists infections . Give yourself time. hell, you've given yourself four years! A few more months will only help, if being healthy is something you truly aspire towards. And besides, we ALL function better with a goal, right?

Someone once told me that if you set out to BECOME that guy you want as a boyfriend, you will end up attracting him. What they never mentioned was that the longer I became my own boyfriend, the less imperitive HAVING a boyfriend would become. Ironic, that.

And while no, this is not a dating service, it's a tremendous support group.... and poz.com has a great HIV dating service tied in as well. Watch out for the crazies, though. And trust me, HIV status does not make for a serious crazy filter. Be wary, be smart. All that.

I honestly think you have come to the right place

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."