Hot Topics:

Cartoonist Quest:

Las Cruces Sun-News

Posted:
04/10/2014 06:59:20 AM MDT

Illustration by Jason Salas
We're up all night to get geeky!

When you think of a geek, what comes to mind? The stereotype is an awkward teenage boy reading a comic book and reciting sci-fi movie lines with a pubescent breaking voice. Sure, that is one type of geek. But it is not the only type. I'm here to help you get a handle on the Geek Species.

There are five types of geeks:

1. The Stereotype (mentioned above)

2. The Fanboy

3. The Nerd

4. The Gamer

5. The Geeky Girl

I'll break them down quickly and easily.

*Some of these types may overlap. There are many sub-types but these seem to be the usual suspects.

** I use male descriptions for the first four. When you get to the Geeky Girl, you'll see why.

The Stereotype

Yes, that awkward teenage boy is a geek. You can spot him a mile away. He's withdrawn, weird and does, in fact, read comic books. Chances are he's not good with girls and wonders why they don't flock to a guy like him. It is this type of delusional reasoning that makes the Stereotype Geek the way he is. In fact, he loves the stuff he loves so intensely that it doesn't make sense for any other human, female or male, to not love it as much. So he waits for someone to appreciate the finer things in life like alternate-universe reboot mini-sagas. Yes, ladies, he's available.

Advertisement

The Fanboy

The Fanboy, though less socially awkward than the average Stereotype, is far more engrossed in comics and its surrounding culture to the point of obsession. At comic cons, Fanboys are first day, first in line. They are not satisfied with simply reading comic books, they must experience the adventure. Fanboys are notorious for cosplay and are happiest when they can speak in made-up languages. When you see a guy dressed up like a Klingon yelling unintelligibly, you have found a Fanboy.

The Nerd

Nerds and Geeks are not synonymous. Nerds, as a subspecies of Geeks, are the brains. Unlike cosplay Fanboys who simply learn fictional languages, Nerds are the guys who create those languages in the first place. And while Nerds are more socially awkward than the Stereotype, Nerds find ways to manipulate societal norms in their favor through research. Nerds, in all their weirdness, can get the girl simply because they figured out an algorithm to do such.

The Gamer

Simply put, the Gamer plays video games. Don't even start by asking which games; true Gamers play them all, routinely discarding games unworthy of their efforts. Gamers enjoy the company of other geeks; however, if the geek exhibits scant video game knowledge, the Gamer will abandon the conversation like he abandoned the 1982 Atari 2600 video game version of E.T. If you don't know why that reference is pertinent, don't get into a conversation with a Gamer. Trust me.

The Geeky Girl

The Geeky Girl sits atop the geeky food chain. She is revered by all Geekdom. Usually the Geeky Girl has the uncanny ability to exemplify any geeky personality at will, thus endearing her to geeks like TNG's Empathic Metamorph. The Geeky Girl can not only keep up in a geeky conversation, but chimes in with her unique feminine perspective. This gives the Geeky Girl an allure all her own, which surpasses mere beauty. Any geek worth his weight in Bitcoin will pass up a supermodel for a Geeky Girl. They are exponentially more fun.

If you are reading this and feel that I got it all wrong or left out a Geek type or two, chances are you are more of a Geek than me. I don't have a name for you, but, if my experience with Geeks serves me right, you have a name for your own specific breed. More power to you. Geek on, brother.

ODESSA, Texas (AP) — A West Texas man has been charged with impersonating an officer by using sirens and flashing lights to skip to the head of the drive-thru line at a fast-food restaurant. Full Story

Sufjan Stevens, "Carrie & Lowell" (Asthmatic Kitty) Plucked strings and pulsing keyboards dominate the distinctive arrangements on Sufjan Stevens' latest album, and in the absence of a rhythm section, they serve to keep time. Full Story