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The mad world of Mario Balotelli: how we think his year will pan out

Man City's eccentric forward, Mario Balotelli, surprised everyone at a college in Manchester this week by popping in to use the toilet. He stayed there chatting to star-struck students for more than 20 minutes.

Only last week, Mario also paid for everyone at a petrol station to fill their cars up before leaving. You couldn't make it up, but we've had a go! We've tried to second guess how the Premier League's most talked about player's year might pan out, with a month-by-month account of events…

JANUARY

Mid-way through City's train journey to London to face Spurs, Mario leaves his team-mates in first-class to visit the shop, where he buys the entire stock, dishing out a beverage and medicore packaged sandwiches to every passenger on board, along with one crisp £50 note and a VIP ticket to City's Premier League game against Fulham on 4 February.

FEBRUARY

On Valentine's Day, 24 hours before flying out to Portugal to face Porto in the Europa League, Mario is spotted walking around the Trafford Centre, Manchester, with a huge bunch of roses in each hand, wearing silk black trousers, shoes, no top and a spinning, white bow tie. He hands over a rose and plants a kiss on every unsuspecting female he passes until he runs out of roses.

MARCH

After the Premier League victory over Chelsea, Mario is so overcome with joy he shuffles past supporters outside Eastlands, clambers into his black Maserati and speeds off towards Molineux, where Man United's draw against Wolves has given City a seven point advantage in the title race. On arrival, he sneaks into the away dressing room and stands face-to-face with Sir Alex Ferguson, staring at him intently for a few seconds - his trademark goal celebration - before running back to his car and driving home.

APRIL

The month starts badly for Mario, whose eagerness to visit Sir Alex at Molineux lands him another three points for speeding and a six-month ban. The next day, he buys a helicopter and employs a qualified pilot to fly him around Manchester for six months. Mario's first trip, on Easter Sunday, is to a local park where he hands out 22 Cadbury's Creme Eggs to stunned school kids playing a game of football.

MAY

Millions of football fans are watching City clinch the league title on Match of the Day when suddenly, during one of Alan Shearer's 'insightful' post-match musings, Mario bursts onto the set and launches a water bomb at the ex-England striker, but Shearer ducks and it catches Gary Lineker instead. Stunned and speechless with fake tan dripping down his face, Lineker fails to get any words out before Mario makes his exit, giggling profusely.

JUNE

Before jetting off to join up with Italy for Euro 2012, Mario storms on to the set of Coronation Street during a live screening of the popular soap, claiming to be Ken Barlow's long lost brother. Ken refuses to believe him but Mario goes into vivid detail about Ken's family background and the pair end up reminiscing about their childhood in the Rovers Return Inn, where he buys a round for everyone.

JULY

Just past the hour mark of the Euro 2012 final between Spain and Germany, the crowd bursts into laughter as a streaker sprints on to the pitch. As TV cameras focus on the naked gentleman it turns out to be none other than Super Mario Balotelli. He gives four stewards the run around for nearly three minutes before grabbing the trophy, which is sitting on a stand pitch-side, and sprinting down the tunnel.

AUGUST

Following the fall-out from his Euro 2012 final appearance, Mario goes AWOL. He hasn't been seen for more than a month when Man City travel to Wembley to take on Man United in the Community Shield, but with ten minutes left a helicopter hovers over the stadium, slowly descends and lands on the centre circle. Stunned players take cover in the dug-out and watch as the chopper's door opens and out pops Mario, still completely naked. He sprints over to Roberto Mancini, jumps on him and plants a smacker on his forehead. The game is abandoned.

SEPTEMBER

After narrowly escaping jail, Mario goes AWOL again. Frustrated City officials order a worldwide search for their missing striker who's eventually found by a Man United employee, after two weeks, hiding in a cubicle in one of the ladies' toilets at Old Trafford. This time, he's fully clothed.

OCTOBER

Balotelli moves to London after being sent out on loan to Loftus Road until January. He celebrates the end of his six-month driving ban by purchasing 26 cars and giving them away to homeless people. Five days later, he sneaks into Prime Minister's questions time in the House of Commons, hands 50,000 euros in cash to Ed Miliband and launches his shoe at David Cameron.

NOVEMBER

Balotelli stuns the football world by announcing his retirement from the sport and celebrates by releasing a single with Craig David. The video features Balotelli dressed as Willy Wonka, handing out sweets to midgets.

DECEMBER

Astronauts aboard the International Space Station are stunned when they hear a knock at the hatch and in walks Balotelli, asking if he can use their special space toilet. He then broadcasts a message of world peace from aboard the Space Station, instantly bringing to an end wars and conflict around the globe. Balotelli marks the occasion by commissioning a portrait of Richard Blackwood riding a Harley Davidson and auctions it off for charity.