A well-known British pharmacy chain, Boots, is now selling the tests, over the counter. Who knew there was a market for such a thing. As it turns out, these types of tests have been widely available over the internet, as well as on sale in some American pharmacies.

It’s hard to imagine ever being in a situation where I wasn’t sure who the father of my child was. And, since I’m not a man, harder still to imagine into the eyes of what you have been told is your offspring, and doubting that truth. It’s equally painful to imagine being a child whose biological father has denied paternity. As I said, this is the stuff of soap operas.

But apparently it happens in real life too. And often enough to create a market for a test you can perform, on the sly, by swiping the child’s cheek and sending the results to a lab.

What I, and others, want to know is, what do people do with the potentially life-altering information, all on their own, in the privacy of their living rooms? What are the potential family and social implications? And could the results ever be wrong? Another question involves what it means to be a child’s parent. As we know, bonded relationships, which develop over time between fathers and children does not necessarily require blood relations.

“It seems very wrong to me that you can walk into Boots and buy something that can split up a family unit,” says the father-of-three. “That’s bad news for the couple and for the child; whatever the result is, the mistrust generated by asking for these tests could do irreparable damage.”

Did you know you could buy do-it-yourself paternity kits? Do you think they should be so readily available to anyone with a suspicious mind?

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I remember seeing some tv show where the mom was dead and the dad refused paternity tests for his kids (can’t remember how that was relevant to the plot) because he knew he wasn’t the kid’s father, but he had raised them and didn’t want to lose them. He would have been better off with the paternity tests, but refused in order to keep his kids.

http://www.thevillagehearth.org/author/charlette Charlette

Questioning whether paternity tests should be available over the counter implies that parents need professional supervision for all their choices. (Granted, some do, and if you think you need a paternity test than there are problems already, and the test may not worsen the situation.)

Should pregnancy tests only be given at a doctors office for fear of implications to the mother/couple/family?

http://www.numbmum.com/ Betsy Shaw

Interesting point. I hadn’t really thought about the availability of pregnancy tests or considered comparing these two things. I’m not convinced the results have the same kind of implications but I would certainly have to ponder it for a minute or a day, to figure out why. And, as Pennie said, pregnancy requires consulting a medical specialist regardless of how you feel about it.

Jennifer K VC

Could not have said it better Charlette.

qu

well i used a blood paternity test to prove to my ex that our children were his (since my ex was the only person i’d slept with there really wasn’t any other person who could have fathered my children). then when the results came back the he was the father i was accused of altering the results (what in the world was i thinking marrying him? lol). i suppose on occassion there might be a need for this but i’d question the validty of tests done at home. blood doesn’t lie (and the security around the tests done in the lab is fairly high), but it seems like something done at home could be contaminated.

Erin

It happens. Not just on soap operas. I agree with Charlette as well.

http://www.thevillagehearth.org/author/charlette Charlette

*then, not than. :~)

http://Babycenter.com Alicia

Very, very interesting!

http://agirlcalledshroom.blogspot.com/ Pennie

I hope that the tests are labeled to advise the people using them that the results of the test might not be the end-all, be-all of it – in the same manner that pregnancy tests do. What action should you take after receiving your results, you know? I don’t think it’s quite the same as a pregnancy test; those can be incorrect, and if you’re taking a pregnancy test and it’s positive, then you need to see your doctor and take the next steps. It becomes a health thing – to ensure you and your baby are ok, and begin the steps to a safe and healthy pregnancy, or take the next steps if you think you might want to abort. (Which I’m not ra-ra about…but it’s out there. It happens.) What happens after you receive the results of a paternity test seem to be more …psychological, I think.

I think when it comes to our bodies, our families, our mental and physical health- at the end of the day, after having peed on whatever or swabbed whatever on our own, we should seek the help of a professional. Period.

Jenel

It should be supervised by doc or nurse, same with HIV testing and pregnancy testing. You can pee on a stick but still need blood to confirm and tertermine time frame. We normal people can handle it but what about the odd nut that shoots his wife cause he lost control. Same with the HIV, if they don’t get councelling they might end up in suicide. I say we normal people, but what is normal. We all respond to shock diffrently and anyone can do something stupid or irrisponsible.

Katie

Well said, Charlette.

I think diy paternity tests should be widely available. I can mostly see these tests used as a first step to see if it makes sense to take additional, more accurate tests. A mouth swab for the child is much less disruptive to them psychologically (and easier for the parent to lie about, er, explain) than a blood test.

Soap opera or not, the fact that many women aren’t monogomous is common knowledge. If you found yourself pregnant and not sure who the father was, wouldn’t you want to know who was the father before you went to him and told him, even if you did have to wait until the baby was born? And if you were a man, wouldn’t you want to have a discrete way of proving to yourself that you are in fact the children’s father without making a big deal about it?

http://www.monogrammedeverything.com Jen

I’m honestly kind of at a loss for words on this one…actually just walked away from the laptop for a few to *process* and see if I could come up with something profound to say…

The validity of the test and where it’s performed isn’t what’s necessarily bothering me. I’d say its the fact that there is such a high demand for the product that they’ve made the “at-home” easy-peasy version is what is utterly disturbing to me.

I saw it on Veronica Mars so knew it existed. I’m curious about doing it for myself. My parents have had a rocky marriage since I can remember and I look nothing like anyone in my family. I’m a grown woman w/ a child of my own and I my father is a great father and grandfather, but there’s still a part of me that wants to know for sure. I’d have to do it in secret and if it turned out he wasn’t, I’d never tell. I think for me it’s just to get a sense of who I am/ or not.

Tara

Well, my own father tried to deny my brother and myself. Yes, we did have some characteristics of him (my brother even has some of the mannerisms) but we didn’t have blond hair or blue eyes… he never took a basic biology class and found out that dark hair and eyes are dominant traits! Anyway, my mother had not cheated on him, and only had a relationship with my step dad 4 years (7 for my brother) AFTER I was born and after the divorce was final. So I could see where it has become a necessary item to have available. I do agree that it should be followed up with a visit to a health care provider.

Diana

My husband was married to a woman who turned out to be quite a cheater. He suspects that one of his two daughters is not his, but like a real life version of the tv show in the first comment, he has never asked for testing even with years of disputed custody and child support problems. He doesn’t want the girls to suffer the crushing emotional and financial impact such a revelation would have. He also had to sign a documenting that he was not the father of the child resulting from the cheating incident that finally ended the marriage. She seems so normal when you meet her, but she could be on Maury.

nancyk

To #2 – Charlette – The comparison doesn’t quite hold…. A maternity test is meant to find out WHETHER you are pregnant, not whether you are THE MOTHER or not. It answers a biological question, not an identity one. 1) The question is “am I pregnant?” (not “Is this other woman pregnant?”)can be answered by Yes, or NO. 2) The question for paternity is WHO is the father, and involves a third party – it’s about establishing the link between two separate individuals – and a baby (for now at least, but give it another 10 years…) does grow inside a woman’s body.

Mindy

I have just recently found out that my husband (we were not married at the time)fathered a child 21 years ago. The girl wanted a DNA test because her mother informed her the man she thought to be her father might not be. I will tell you this has been a horrible situation. The hurt and betrayal and mistrust this has caused and it is relationship ending. This woman NEVER mentioned to my husband that he might be the father all this time. I think over the counter DNA testing is wrong…wrong…wrong.

mic

I guess my only problem with it is that anyone can cheat.
So if I want to “prove” a kid isnt mine, I could swipe the cheek of the kid next door, and send that in, labeled as my kid.
The other parent’s only recourse at that point is to get supervised sampling done, and have the test repeated.

Mindy

That’s what I’m saying “mic”. My husband didn’t see them mail the sample off and he didn’t even see a report until about 3 months after the “test” was done. I think only supervised test that can prove chain of ownership should be performed. Period.

http://www.dnacenter.com/ Mary

Interesting comments and insights from all. I thought I would shed some light on some misconceptions.

I work for a DNA testing lab. I am not selling anything I am simply offering professional information.

Although DIY kits readily available at your corner store the results are not legally binding in a court of law. These types of kits are more of a starting point to determine next steps. There are may reasons why someone might need this information.
1) Family responsibility
2) Insurance
3) Health Issues
4) Social Security benefits
5) Child Support
6) Post Adoption
Should someone need to prove paternity for legal purposes there is a professional process that is required. The actual collection of the DNA is with a buccal swab (like a QTip) but it is performed at a medical facility. The facility is required to obtain proof of identity from all parties involved. Such as drivers license, passport, green card, etc. Photographs are taken to identity both the individual and the date of the collection. Fingerprints are also gathered at this time. The lab that performs the test must be AABB accredited.
Unfortunately paternity testing is a reality.
I can relate many positive life changing stories abut paternity results. Not all of them end sadly.
I suggest interested parties checkout the American Pregnancy Association or the lab I work for http://www.dnacenter.com/
If were considering this type of test I would research as much as possible. The above is a good start.

teck

Mic and Mindy, suppose thats the purpose of over the counter kits – they help to initiate the process. There of course confirmatory tests afterwards. What you need is the grounds in the first instance. Remember it works for both men and women. Some men believe just because they had sex then they fathered a child and some women think that just because a man had sex with them then he’s got to accept responsibility for pregnancy and it can be unfair in either situation.

Mindy

Thanks Mary, I have done some research and a medical facility and an attorney in the town where I live both use the lab where you work. I have a couple of questions for whoever can answer, What is a L-A-B accreditation? Also who agrees that paternity testing should be mandatory at birth?

Sam

It’s about the child. The child has the right to know who it’s father really is.
When there are so many men bringing up children who they think are theirs. Its a scandal.
1 in every 15 fathers are being deceived. How many children are being deceived.
Just goes to show how many deceiving mothers there really is out there. Willing to let a child believe someone
Else is their father.

A change in the law is required. Paternity tests should be mandatory.

Steven

Being a woman you would never understand the peace of mind this can give a man. It is not uncommon for a man to question if he is the father even for a man who doesn’t believe his wife or girlfriend has cheated. I saw a test where so many husbands were asked questions. A significantly higher number said they have questioned if they were the father and the same men were insulted when asked if they thought their wives cheated. As a father I have thought about using one of these tests and I don’t doubt my son is mine and I am so bonded to him at this point I wouldn’t care either way. Again as a woman you couldn’t understand the want/need to just KNOW.

These should be sold. Just as at home HIV, STD, pregnancy tests should. Without the privacy of it some may never get the results that are not only life changing but deserved to them.

secret

I did paternity test anonymously and retrieved the results via internet. It took me some time to take courage to do it but I agree with Steven. I never really doubted but I had to know and to have eternal peace of mind. I was a little embarrassed for first few days because I did it without my wife knowing, but I after just one week I considered it the best thing I could do.
Paternity testing should be mandatory, no question about it. Unfortunately there is a huge shaming campaign against it, telling that you aren’t responsible if you want to do it. It just shows that you are very responsible indeed.
The was it goes today, many men will have to sneak behind their wife’s back to do it, because women bought into it that it is insulting to them, thus the men may risk being alienated from their children or wrecking their marriage. Luckily that paternity kits are available in just about every pharmacy store, can be sent anonymously and the results can be retrieved by visiting a special internet page. Any guy who is interested should google a bit and get informed, I don’t want to advertise anything.
Any woman who finds this disgusting should rather be the one who insists on testing being done and test being handed to her husband. I can tell you that they’ll be extremely glad that you did it for them and that you want to display it for them, that’s a huge stone on everyone’s back and they just don’t dare asking.

Officially cited data said that roughly 10% of all children in new generations have their paternity determined on court, while as tests will be done secretly in the same manner that I did. It’s not even a taboo any more that any man or woman probably knows several people who did it either secretly or contested it on court. Court processes are only ones that legally count, but court processes are much more expensive, thus I think the routine testing should use other options for the peace of mind. Anonymous testing is just perfect because you can’t even get caught

secret

What I wanted to say that as many tests are done on court as those done out of court by paternity kits and sending them anonymously. The numbers are really huge, yet everyone pretends that nobody does it.

TDoshier

DNA testing like many other parenting issues is controlled by the mother. In our case, my son believes he is probably the father to an infant daughter. Mom has not put anyone on the birth certificate, yet wants financial help from him. He has offered to pay for the legal fees for paternity testing and the mother refuses to participate. He cannot take the child in since he is not her guardian. Therefore, his only rights are as the mother deems necessary, if he behaves as she expects, or if she needs a babysitter.

An OTC Paternity Test may be one step in the right direction for my son. Is he truly the father and should proceed to spend the money on an attorney to secure his daughter’s future and their relationship? Or is he not the father and needs to put his foot down about free babysitting and diapers?

I am just wondering if the consent paperwork in the OTC kits asks for the guardians signature or if my son can send it off as a preliminary test before consulting an attorney and having the courts mandate the mother to participate.

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