Sorry if this makes me sound dumb, but I never really got how middle-class folks actually get girlfriends in the US. Abroad, I'm used to instant flirting and attraction instead of complicated guessing and asking-out games.

Is the following actually standard protocol in USA dating? (Officially asking a platonic friend -- aka casual date you'd go eat out with a few times -- to be your girlfriend. It's just like asking out high school prom dates in the US.)

5. Pop the question in the best way possible. It's important to deliver your question in the best way possible, so that your intentions are clear.
Once you've gotten to know your girl, it's time to ask her to be yours. There are several ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, and it's going to depend on how people your age refer to it. For example, "going steady" is an outdated phrase. The following are pretty timeless:

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Asking her to be your girlfriend is much more direct and upfront than "would you go out with me?" Most girls would be flattered by your confidence and direct speech.

Don't be afraid to be creative if the direct route is not for you. You can ask the girl by handing her a letter, writing "Will you be my girlfriend?" on a cake, or finding another creative way to capture her attention--and her heart.

Don't wait a long time or she'll think you don't like her anymore. Girls have their limits.

Avoid asking her to be your "implied girlfriend." This may happen when you've been hanging out for a few weeks and generally having a good time. Then, one day you sort of look at each other and you ask, "Hey, are we going out?". Invariably, the answer will be No. Most times, it is just worse not to be direct about what you are.

8. Ask her to be your girlfriend. Once you are pretty sure that there's strong mutual attraction, ask her to be your girlfriend. You can do this in a big, creative way or simply ask her in person. Be sure to never ask this over text or chat (even just over the phone is questionable). Don't change your Facebook relationship status or refer to her as your girlfriend until she responds!

Falcon wrote:Sorry if this makes me sound dumb, but I never really got how middle-class folks actually get girlfriends in the US. Abroad, I'm used to instant flirting and attraction instead of complicated guessing and asking-out games.

Is the following actually standard protocol in USA dating? (Officially asking a platonic friend -- aka casual date you'd go eat out with a few times -- to be your girlfriend. It's just like asking out high school prom dates in the US.)

5. Pop the question in the best way possible. It's important to deliver your question in the best way possible, so that your intentions are clear.
Once you've gotten to know your girl, it's time to ask her to be yours. There are several ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, and it's going to depend on how people your age refer to it. For example, "going steady" is an outdated phrase. The following are pretty timeless:

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Asking her to be your girlfriend is much more direct and upfront than "would you go out with me?" Most girls would be flattered by your confidence and direct speech.

Don't be afraid to be creative if the direct route is not for you. You can ask the girl by handing her a letter, writing "Will you be my girlfriend?" on a cake, or finding another creative way to capture her attention--and her heart.

Don't wait a long time or she'll think you don't like her anymore. Girls have their limits.

Avoid asking her to be your "implied girlfriend." This may happen when you've been hanging out for a few weeks and generally having a good time. Then, one day you sort of look at each other and you ask, "Hey, are we going out?". Invariably, the answer will be No. Most times, it is just worse not to be direct about what you are.

8. Ask her to be your girlfriend. Once you are pretty sure that there's strong mutual attraction, ask her to be your girlfriend. You can do this in a big, creative way or simply ask her in person. Be sure to never ask this over text or chat (even just over the phone is questionable). Don't change your Facebook relationship status or refer to her as your girlfriend until she responds!

In the US, when you reach the point where if either of you was sleeping with another person the other person woukd be furious, you are exclusively dating. Note that it has to cut both ways- if only one of you would be pissed off if the other was sleeping around, you aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. Usually the guy reaches the tipping point of getting attached first, followed a few weeks later by the girl. Asking a girl to be your girlfriend is just so... High school? In a regular relationship I feel like it just sort of happens, where you get close and become exclusive. Most women would probably find it pretty odd to be asked after the age of 22 or so, but this is just my personal experience, YMMV.

Falcon wrote:Sorry if this makes me sound dumb, but I never really got how middle-class folks actually get girlfriends in the US. Abroad, I'm used to instant flirting and attraction instead of complicated guessing and asking-out games.

Is the following actually standard protocol in USA dating? (Officially asking a platonic friend -- aka casual date you'd go eat out with a few times -- to be your girlfriend. It's just like asking out high school prom dates in the US.)

5. Pop the question in the best way possible. It's important to deliver your question in the best way possible, so that your intentions are clear.
Once you've gotten to know your girl, it's time to ask her to be yours. There are several ways to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, and it's going to depend on how people your age refer to it. For example, "going steady" is an outdated phrase. The following are pretty timeless:

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Asking her to be your girlfriend is much more direct and upfront than "would you go out with me?" Most girls would be flattered by your confidence and direct speech.

Don't be afraid to be creative if the direct route is not for you. You can ask the girl by handing her a letter, writing "Will you be my girlfriend?" on a cake, or finding another creative way to capture her attention--and her heart.

Don't wait a long time or she'll think you don't like her anymore. Girls have their limits.

Avoid asking her to be your "implied girlfriend." This may happen when you've been hanging out for a few weeks and generally having a good time. Then, one day you sort of look at each other and you ask, "Hey, are we going out?". Invariably, the answer will be No. Most times, it is just worse not to be direct about what you are.

8. Ask her to be your girlfriend. Once you are pretty sure that there's strong mutual attraction, ask her to be your girlfriend. You can do this in a big, creative way or simply ask her in person. Be sure to never ask this over text or chat (even just over the phone is questionable). Don't change your Facebook relationship status or refer to her as your girlfriend until she responds!

In the US, when you reach the point where if either of you was sleeping with another person the other person woukd be furious, you are exclusively dating. Note that it has to cut both ways- if only one of you would be pissed off if the other was sleeping around, you aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. Usually the guy reaches the tipping point of getting attached first, followed a few weeks later by the girl. Asking a girl to be your girlfriend is just so... High school? In a regular relationship I feel like it just sort of happens, where you get close and become exclusive. Most women would probably find it pretty odd to be asked after the age of 22 or so, but this is just my personal experience, YMMV.

I agree that asking a girl to be your girlfriend is rather juvenile. I never did that with any of my gf's outside of the ONE I had in High School. When I had decided that I wanted my current GF to be my GF, she had already decided she wanted to be my GF for months. I was dating a few girls at the time as putting all my eggs in one basket never worked for me at any point in my life. I just happened to be dating a few very attractive women that I liked in one way or the other. However, I had to narrow it down and choose one ASAP...pretty inconsiderate not to. When I had decided that I wanted to be exclusive with her, I sat her down and told her. I basically told her all the things I liked about her and that I wanted to ONLY be with her.

"So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it."