Keeping her skin the color of a chicharrón doesn’t come cheap, so man-made wonder Aubrey Ho’DayandNight has to do what she’s got to do for a check including sharing her blinding beauty with a bunch of afternoon drunks at the Hard Rock’s pool party in Las Vegas. Yeah, I don’t know who thought hiring Aubrey to host a pool party was a good idea. Not only do you have to worry about Aubrey ruining the buzz by melting down into a puddle of self-tanner, foundation and broken dreams, but you’d have to evacuate the pool if she even dipped her toe in the water. Chlorine can kill tourist piss, but it’s no match for the 7 layers of bronzer dip Aubrey slathers all over her body. Aubrey is like a bronzer stick with crazy eyes and I bet she smells like a MAC store farting into the perfume section at Macy’s. That is the scent of natural beauty.

And should we be grateful that the only visible ‘gina in that picture belongs to a dog?

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