Ring: I've been 'unfriended' once again

“Unfriend” is not a word. It is an action Facebook gives each of us to include people as “friends” but it also gives us the ability to “unfriend” someone. Well, I have been unfriended once again. It is not the first time. I desire it to be the last.

Now that I am heading to “Sun City” age, you would think I have learned by now. The tongue (via typing) is a small spark that can cause a forest fire. James the half-brother of Jesus tells us that. My own inability to control it is living proof. He also says no man can tame it.

We are all plagued with “tongue” issues. It is like trying to have a nice little fire to warm us at night only to add gasoline and wind and next thing we know, the whole backyard is ablaze. You can tell I am a closet pyromaniac. I got in trouble more than once setting the back yard on fire when I was a young boy exploring flame. Little did I know I would continue to set backyards on fire. Only now it is with my pyrotechnic tongue.

The issue with the tongue is not always what we say. It is how we say it. Sounds like your mother doesn’t it. Hate to say it, she was right.

Just because we possess truth does not mean we have the right to destroy someone with it. Our timing is usually done to promote our own knowledge, understanding and prestige. Oh, we have the knack of wrapping it in nice undertones and spiritual overtones.

Proverbs has a lot to say about the tongue. Most of it we don’t want to read. Why? We know it already.

So, what can we do? On the one hand, nothing. Seriously. There is not a human being that is not plagued with tongue issues. We need just enough stress to let it rip. Going to self-help training might calm the moment but give it time. The heart will win out. The tongue not the eyes is the gateway to our heart.

Our words express our heart. When we become offensive our heart desires the praise of man. When do we become offensive? When we don’t ask about the other person and take the opportunity to stake our claim into someone’s life.

This past week we celebrated the resurrection of Jesus. It was the affirmation that he indeed is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Our hearts need His transformation. When our hearts change, our tongues will as well.

Just when we think we got the jump on spiritual matters, tape your conversations for a day and listen to them. Count how many times we tell instead of ask. Count how many times we use the word “I,” “me” and “mine.” Count how many times your opinion overrides someone else’s words.

When the light bulb goes on, pray. Don’t stop then. Remember the need tomorrow. We can’t change our hearts on our own. We need God’s help. If we can’t communicate (listen and speak) to others with His love, we need to be talking to Him. Thank you, Jesus. You don’t unfriend us.