14 days left

I’m afraid. Of many things. Yes, I am afraid of feeling pain. A bit. But mostly spending so much time alone. I know there will be none there with me, during the run, and I know I will crave human contact to the limits of my capacities. I hope the other runners will be sufficient company to keep me going.

It feels irrational, but time in extreme circumstances stretches. It feels longer. I still remember the final 30minutes or so of the last marathon. “I now have to lift my leg. It is so hard, extremely hard. I have to help with my arms, and upper body, tense all the muscles, to lift my foot. It is so hard. I feel pain in so many places around my body. It is so hard. But lets do it!” This thinking and routine repeats about 2-3 times a second, 120-160 times a minute. Extreme.

My running jersey is stiff of sweat. I have visited friends yesterday for dinner, finished at 20:30, put my shoes on and run 20km. No problems. Woke up today and run 12km with 2kgs weights on my ankles. I’ve run 450km in September. I never felt so fit. Am I ready? I do not think so. I do not know how it feels to be prepared for such a long endurance event.