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You have to wait until you have posted a few more times.
It's around 25 post (I can never remember the exact count).
After that, options will open up for you.

It is done this way so we can see if you are really here for discussion or just to troll.

Welcome to TOL.

We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
They already know monsters exist.
We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
They already know monsters exist.
We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

Look at the top of the page under the TOL logo.
There is a thick black line box of options to choose from.
One of those options should be Private Messages.
Click on it.
Now look at the options on the left of the screen.
Click on Send New Message.
That will open up a screen for you to type in the name of the person you want the message to be sent to.
Then fill in the title of your message with whatever the subject is about.
Then fill in the post space with your message.
Then click Submit Message button underneath.

We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
They already know monsters exist.
We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

Click Settings at the top right of the page.
Now look to the left of the page and you will see options to add an avatar pic.
Click Edit Avatar.
It will give you two options to use to upload your pic, either from your own saved pics on your computer or from a url link.

We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
They already know monsters exist.
We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

Look at the top of the page under the TOL logo.
There is a thick black line box of options to choose from.
One of those options should be Private Messages.
Click on it.
Now look at the options on the left of the screen.
Click on Send New Message.
That will open up a screen for you to type in the name of the person you want the message to be sent to.
Then fill in the title of your message with whatever the subject is about.
Then fill in the post space with your message.
Then click Submit Message button underneath.

i still got the:

jaybird, you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

Your user account may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
You may need to belong to a special user group to post in this forum. You can apply to the various user groups here.
If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.

Let me check on it and see what the exact amount of posts you have to have.
Shouldn't take me too long.

We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
They already know monsters exist.
We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

Click Settings at the top right of the page.
Now look to the left of the page and you will see options to add an avatar pic.
Click Edit Avatar.
It will give you two options to use to upload your pic, either from your own saved pics on your computer or from a url link.

and i have same error on that one to. thank you for trying to help. still not enough post? maybe my faith is not strong enough. . .

You have enough posts.
So the problem is with the administration not yet activating your additional options.
Knight is the Admin of this site, so you may have to wait till he visits the site again catches up.
All depends on how busy he is.

Meanwhile I will leave you with this link that has several options of how things work at TOL.

We don't tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters exist.
They already know monsters exist.
We tell our children fairy tales so that they will know that monsters can be killed.

You have enough posts.
So the problem is with the administration not yet activating your additional options.
Knight is the Admin of this site, so you may have to wait till he visits the site again catches up.
All depends on how busy he is.

Meanwhile I will leave you with this link that has several options of how things work at TOL.