John Mayer on his breakup with Jen Aniston: "There's no lying, there's no cheating, there's no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met. People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." Hmm, does Mayer The Player have commitmentphobia? [People, UPI]

John Mayer also says: "I'm sorry that the story's not interesting. But it's about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she's great." [OK!]

Um, there's also video of John making these statements. He actually seems emotional. [TMZ]

Okay, this report says that though they're going through a rocky time, John and Jen are not over. Then again, it also claims that "the birth of the Brangelina twins has got her down." Ugh. [The Sun]

This report says that money was an issue with Jen and John. "Jen was tired of paying for everything," says a source. "Cobwebs come flying out of (Mayer's) wallet when he opens it. John liked living like a movie star when he was with her. Jen would never say anything, but you could tell it irritated her." [MSNBC]

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi tied the knot! The private ceremony took place at their home in Los Angeles. There were 19 guests, including both of their mothers. [Yahoo News]

Ellen and Portia both wore Zac Posen. They exchanged rings by Neil Lane. The couple said handwritten vows. Sniff. [People]

Oooh, you can see Portia's fluffy pink dress here. A source called it a "Cinderella tutu." [Us]

A crowd of 6,000 people gathered on Chicago's South Side to remember Bernie Mac on Saturday. Samuel L. Jackson spoke at the church and said: "He never turned that kid down for an autograph. He always had time to shake a hand. He was always that kid from Chicago who wanted to make everybody happy and everybody laugh." [CNN]

Meanwhile, a Presbyterian Church in Memphis is being criticized for holding a memorial for Scientologist Isaac Hayes. [UPI]

Madonna's 50th birthday was Saturday. She spent the day praying at the Kabbalah center before hitting a London nightclub. [Mirror]

In other news, doesn't look like Madonna will be adopting that little girl in Malawi. Although we'll surely hear something different tomorrow. [The Sun]

Meanwhile: Guy Ritchie's script adviser has been charged with possessing more than £100,000 worth of cocaine and cannabis. At least he knows his stuff. [Daily Mail]

Tyra Banks kept her audience waiting for two hours for a taping of "Celebrating Black Models, Past, Present and Future" while she was backstage "giggling, snacking and chatting with the crew." At the end of the show, Tyra and some other models released black balloons, which, as we all know, kill sea life. Anyway, a source says the whole show was "self-indulgent, narcissistic crap." [Page Six]

Phil Collins has divorced third wife Orianne Cevey after six years of marriage and two children. He's paid her £25 million, more than Paul McCartney gave Heather Mills. [Mirror]

Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe suffers from dyspraxia, a neurological problem which impairs movement. His spokesperson says his condition is mild and "at worst manifests itself in an inability to tie his shoe laces and bad handwriting." [Daily Mail]

Courtenay Semel is spilling details about her relationship with Lindsay Lohan: "Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay's first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart," she says. Apparently Courtnenay and LL would do lines of coke, then go home and "fall into bed together." You know, Star was on to LL's "roomate" Courtenay months ago! [News Of The World]

Courtenay also claims that Lindsay slept with a bunch of dudes to suppress her lesbian urges. [The Sun]

Was Peaches Geldof's quickie Vegas wedding a publicity stunt for the groom's rock band? The group, Chester French, was unknown in the UK before the wedding; now they have five gigs: Sheffield tomorrow night, followed by Birmingham, Manchester, Edinburgh and London. [Mirror]

Peaches has gone to visit her father, who will surely quiz her about what the hell is going on. [The Sun]

By the by, Peaches' new hubs doesn't know who Sir Bob Geldof is, so that should go over well. [Mirror]

Oh, dear. There's a picture of Peaches licking the face of Mark The Cobrasnake. [Daily Mail]

Did Peaches get married because she was depressed? Is she still scarred from the death of her mother eight years ago? [The Sun]

Amy Winehouse has become obsessed with The Wizard Of Oz and is using a sample of music from the film in one of her new tracks. Clearly, she loves the scene that's all, "Poppies… poppies!" [The Sun]

Gossip Girl gossip: The first season comes out on DVD this week, with an audiobook narrated by Christina Ricci. Except no one likes audiobooks, especially not GG fans. [NY Times]

Bill Murray jumped out of a plane on Friday. The 57-year-old actor leapt from 13,500 feet with members of the Army Golden Knights Parachute Team. When Murray landed, he said: "I really feel like having a drink." [AP]

Paris Hilton's extensions were extremely obvious on the red carpet at a recent event. [UPI]

Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds To Mars, is being sued by its label, Virgin Records, for not delivering three albums as required by contract. More time in the studio, less time on eyeliner, guys. [AP]

Blind item! "Which hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital — and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut." [Page Six]

Blind item! "Which oft-photographed socialite is being forced to get a job by her parents? She looks rich but is really broke, and is now looking for modeling gigs." [Page Six]

Drama in the Black Eyed Peas! Fergie's too busy shooting a movie to commit to a tour schedule. [Page Six]

Kim Kardashian performed with the Pussycat Dolls in Vegas on Friday and used iChat to show boyfriend Reggie Bush what she looked like in her costume. Yeah, she knows how to video chat. Be afraid. [People]

Everything you need to know about Lo Bosworth's role on The Hills: "A subtle intelligence is Lo's saving grace. It's all there in her withering gaze, usually directed away from her target, and possibly in whatever she's always typing into her cellphone." [L.A. Times]

Sixteen-year-old Georgia Jagger won't let mom Jerry Hall wear anything inappropriate. "I did take all her miniskirts. I told her one night that her skirt was too short – she came down the stairs and I was like, 'God, Mum, you are 50.'" [Daily Mail]

Entourage star Emmanuelle Chriqui was one of the many patrons of an L.A. nightclub who came out coughing when someone set off pepper spray. [TMZ]

Mark Frith, editor of Heat magazine, has a book about what it's like to run a tabloid readers love and stars hate. An excerpt: "Jude Law's lawyer calls again. 'We've reason to believe you're planning to run some photographs that you don't have permission to run. When does the magazine print?' 'It already has.' Silence. Then he tells me our lawyers will be getting a letter." [Daily Mail]

Somebody stole stuff out of the Dancing With The Stars van when it was in Roseville, MN. [UPI]

Robert Wagner has talked to a friend about the night Natalie Wood died. [Times of London]

Headline of the day: "Even when he was kissing me, Warren Beatty could not resist staring at himself in the mirror." [Daily Mail]

"I'd like an Oscar, I think, and I'd also like to have been the face of a big cosmetics company, like Chanel or one of the others. You know what, I am actually going to say I'd like an Oscar nomination rather than an Oscar. I don't want to jinx it." — Emma Roberts. [News.com.au]

"I saw The Dark Knight. I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved The Prestige but didn't understand The Dark Knight. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character… I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high-brow and so fucking smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie. You know what? Fuck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from." — Robert Downey Jr. [MSNBC]