“If the person you are talking to doesn’t appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.” Winnie the Pooh

I saw this quote this morning and thought, hmmm, this is so very true. Sometimes people just aren’t in a place to hear what you are saying. You just have to be patient and wait. It will get through eventually. If not, say it again, but always with patience. We all have selective hearing.

I was teaching a workshop this past weekend and, as much as I try to let people know it’s ok to not believe what I say, they don’t always hear that. They question and they doubt, and, sometimes, they close out the rest of what I’m saying. Fortunately this past weekend didn’t go that way, but I even have children questioning what I was saying to them. Personally, I like those classes for the most part. But, what really stops us from hearing what we need to hear? What is it about certain comments and beliefs that throw us into a tizzy?

Again, we all have selective hearing. I do it. You do it. Your children do it. Your pets do it. You boss does it. Your friends do it. Your co-workers. Need I go on? The only time we really don’t have selective hearing is when it’s a negative comment. Then we tend to hear it loud and clear. We just forget about those positive comments and moments and cling on to the negative ones. What’s up with that?

Another interesting thing happened this past weekend that threw my partners and I, momentarily, into a tizzy. We heard about someone throwing negativity our way. And a lot of it. We heard about lies being told about us and, frankly, defamation of character is in play. I wasn’t in town, and didn’t have cell service, so I heard about this well after it was done, and on the road no less. My cell signal kept going out on me so I would only hear bits and pieces of the conversation. And because I was on the road for several hours, I also had time to mull this situation over and, hence, blog about it.

Selective hearing. This person seems to have a lot of fluff in his ear. In my experience with him, he doesn’t want to hear what others have to say at this time. I don’t think this is a small piece of fluff, it’s a rather large one, and it’s stuck in there fairly deep. This is where Winnie the Pooh makes it simple. Just be patient.

So, when we come across someone who has that much fluff in their ears, it really doesn’t matter how many olive branches are offered, how reasonable we try to be, or how supportive we are of someone. It just doesn’t matter at that point. It’s patience and ignoring the negativity.

My business partners and I were about to hold on to this negativity and have been trying to figure out how to deal with the situation at hand. We forgot about all the good things we had been hearing about our space and our work. We neglected to remember all the positive comments that had been given to us and about the work we are doing. We, after hearing about one person’s negativity, focused on all the negative aspects and our fears started to creep in about our success. Granted, that only lasted for about a day or so, but it really caused us to question. Did we get the fluff in our ears too? (I think I just saw part of it fall out when I wrote that…)

There are always things we can do to improve ourselves. There are always things that people are going to be critical of in our line of work. There will always be obstacles and negative people, and some negative situations. All we can do is try to keep our ears free of fluff and hear what the person is trying to say. If it is something we can do something about we will. If it is just negativity being thrown our way for the sake of negativity being thrown our way, the best way to deal with it is to duck and, if does happen to hit us, let it roll off our backs. There’s a balance that needs to happen. It’s all opportunity for us to take a deeper look at ourselves and become better people.

Focus on the positive. By focusing on the positive you bring the positive to you. When focusing on the negative, you bring the negative to you. You perpetuate the situation. Do you prefer to perpetuate negativity or positivity? Personally I choose positivity. As hard as is sometimes, it is a choice I have to make. It’s not always easy. There are times I’d rather leave the fluff in my ears, become indignant, and then try to get revenge. In the long run, that doesn’t really get me anywhere but to a bad place. Yep. Letting it roll off my back, be patient with the person (or people) who isn’t hearing me, and move on in my life is the better way to handle these situations.

Do you find fluff in your ears? Do you have someone in your life who has fluff in their ears? Are you able to find the patience for yourself and/or the person in your life with the fluff in their ears? Be gentle. Be kind. Be patient.

Please feel free to write your comments below on how you deal with people who have fluff in their ears.

– written by Kristen Scanlon (Certified BodyTalk Practitioner & Animal Communicator), owner of Talk Pawsitive, LLC and co-owner of The Healing Loft, LLC. You can reach her by emailing healing@thehealingloftmpls.com or calling The Healing Loft, LLC at 612-208-1408.