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Quiz: Which TV Roommate are You?

1. You come home to find your roommate has left a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. What do you do?

A. Clean the dishes yourself – and secretly enjoy it.

B. Research all the different types of mold that can arise from old food stuck to ceramic plates, arrange them into a detailed Power Point presentation, and make your roommate sit quietly as you lecture him/her about basic cleanliness.

C. Toss your own dirty dishes on top of the pile and walk away.

D. Immediately go find your roommate to yell at him/her – not because of the mess, but because no one offered you any food.

E. Immediately go find your roommate, give him/her a hug, and calmly offer to help clean the dishes while saying repeatedly that you still love him/her.

3. You and your roommate throw a party, and someone in the building calls the cops on you for being too loud. How do you react when the police knock on your door?

A. Apologize profusely and offer to shine the cops’ shoes for free, right then and there.

B. Grill the police on exactly how many decibels you have to reach to get a citation for disturbing the peace. Demand to know if your neighbors tracked how many decibels your party reached, then pull out a decibel meter that shows you’ve been tracking the party’s noise levels all along.

C. You can’t get to the door because there’s too much junk blocking it.

D. Attempt to bribe the cops with a pastrami sandwich, only to realize you’ve already eaten all of them yourself.

E. Distract the police by striking up a conversation. Don’t stop talking until you’ve become Facebook friends with them and invited them over for dinner next week.

4. Your roommate wants to watch a movie that you’ve already seen (and don’t care to see again). What do you do?

A. Turn on the TV for them and quietly escape to the kitchen, where you happily scrub the cabinets with a toothbrush.

B. Explain in excruciating detail every plot point in the movie, thereby ruining the ending for your roommate, until you’ve convinced him/her not to watch it. Propose that you instead watch Tron (the original, please, not the remake), which you consider to be the greatest movie ever made.

C. Agree to watch the movie with your roommate, only you spend the rest of the evening trying to find the remote control instead. Turns out it’s buried under a pile of months-old magazines and empty Coke cans.

D. Watch it anyway, but order a monumental amount of Chinese takeout first. Who cares if you’ve already seen the movie? You’re just happy if you’re knee-deep in moo shu pork.

E. Tell your roommate how much it means to you that he/she wants to share this time with you. Declare the movie to be “your movie” and mentally make notes of everything that happens so you can quote the movie to your roommate later, thus creating a slew of inside jokes.

5. Your roommate is a little short on rent this month and asks to borrow some money from you. What do you do?

A. Agree to lend the money, but in lieu of repayment, you ask that he/she lets you clean the entire apartment top to bottom, including his/her bedroom and bathroom.

B. Agree to lend the money, but first create a detailed contract that outlines a strict repayment schedule with interest, and a list of increasingly dire consequences if your roommate does not meet the deadlines.

C. You don’t lend the money, not because you don’t want to, but because locating your checkbook would require heavy machinery and probably some haz-mat suits.

D. Agree to lend the money, and state pointedly that you will accept repayment in the form of French fries.

E. Lend the money before you’ve even been asked, because you and your roommate are like peas and carrots, and you already knew about his/her financial difficulties. You’ve been saving for months in preparation for this moment.

F. You don’t lend the money, but only because you’ve forgotten which bank you keep your money in.

Monica Geller from Friends. A neat freak to the point of compulsion, you’ve devised a foolproof system for keeping everything in your life organized, and you see no reason why anyone else should mess with it. Does this cause problems with your roommate? Sure, from time to time your organizational obsession can border on neurotic. But your apartment sparkles and your closet could be on the cover of Organization Today, so who cares?

If you answered mostly Bs, you are:

Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. Obsessively detail-oriented, you look for the science behind everything, on the constant search for your “Bazinga!” moment. You and your roommate have a love/hate relationship; your pickiness might make for the occasional fight, but your roommate can’t argue with your thorough cleanliness and dedication to paying the bills on time. As long as everyone follows the Roommate Agreement, you’re happy.

If you answered mostly Cs, you are:

Oscar Madison from The Odd Couple. Life is short; who has time to clean? You have better things to do with your time than organize a silly sock drawer. A little mess never hurt anyone (except your roommate, who’s considerably more appearance-conscious than you are.) You and your roommate are yin and yang, sun and moon, peanut butter and chocolate — exact opposites, but oddly perfect together.

If you answered mostly Ds, you are:

Joey Tribbiani from Friends. A nice person to the core, you love your roommate more than anything – except food. If there’s a sandwich in the fridge, it won’t be there for long if you’re at home, and you won’t be sorry for eating it, either. This can sometimes cause friction with your roommate, especially if you eat his/her lunch, which you do on a regular basis. But you’re so lovable that your roommate eventually forgives you.

If you answered mostly Es, you are:

Jessica Day from New Girl. A people-pleaser to the extreme, the most important thing in the world to you is to be close with your roommate, even if it means putting up with the occasional mess in the kitchen or late rent payment. You regularly go out of your way to do nice things for your roommate – you cook dinner, you watch the movie they want to watch, you clean up their messes – and you do it all for the hugs.

If you answered mostly Fs, you are:

Chrissy Snow from Three’s Company. You have better things to think about than the state of your apartment, like where thoughts come from, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop. No one will call you an intellectual and you are most definitely blonde — if not in hair color, then in spirit — but you’re a basically nice person at heart, and your roommates love you for that.