Imagine
that you're making a documentary about baseball. But instead of
filming from the sidelines, reading up on the sport, and interviewing
players, you boldly bombard the mound, kick the pitcher in the dick,
and record the crowd's reaction. You'd probably end up with a movie
about angry baseball fans, and perhaps even be able to pepper it with
footage of yourself getting tackled by infielders. What you wouldn't
have, though, is a complete portrayal of the game itself, or an
accurate depiction of the players.

That's
essentially the forced approach taken in Occupy Unmasked, a
hysterically loaded new film from posthumous provocateur Andrew
Breitbart and his cohorts at Citizens United. Rather than tread
lightly to capture subjects in their natural routines, here director
Stephen Bannon and producer David Bossie poke the hornet's nest,
knowing damn well that they'll get some buzz. It's the filmmaking
equivalent to, say, dressing up like a pimp to entrap a social
justice agency.

Shot
from the perspective of an outside agitator, Occupy Unmasked
is for the most part an hour-and-a-half long hit job on community
organizers, who are broad-brushed as a gang of “anarchists,
socialists, and communists” that began planning Occupy and “the
destruction of America” while helping with relief efforts in New
Orleans. It's not enough that conservative leaders ignored and then
abandoned Hurricane Katrina victims; in Breitbart's world, the
bleeding hearts who volunteered just did so in order to plot an
uprising years later.

It
gets better. According to this account, people only occupied Wall
Street because organizers promised a Radiohead show. Then there's the
impossible claim that Occupy is a “dictatorship” that's run by
Anonymous – a statement that reveals not just a loose understanding
of facts, but of the English language itself. As icing, there's also
an unsubstantiated charge that Occupiers planned assassinations in
their tents, plus a whole lot of condemnation for “raping,”
“pillaging,” and “pooping.”

Token
tall tales aside, Occupy Unmasked is more than just a
cornucopia of inaccuracies. Between so much trite baloney – like
the lasting line that Occupiers are all “young, white, liberal
elites” – there are some actual truths. Narrators state, quite
correctly, that protesters don't get much media attention unless
there are arrests or violence. That's an unfortunate reality, but one
that even few sympathizers would deny. The same goes for a statement
that Occupy is “the convergence of disparate groups.” You're damn
right it is.

The
irony, of course, is that you don't need to employ bullshit to effectively attack Occupy. Especially as numbers dwindle, and as those who remain
in the movement tussle over nonsense and seem incapable of moving
forward. Not surprisingly, though, the researchers behind Unmasked
didn't bother to analyze the actual operations, or to interview some
eloquent defenders of the movement who tend to be critical. Instead,
they offer cherry-picked bloopers from select participants who are
unable to articulate their grievances.

For
universal appeal, Occupy Unmasked will certainly incense
everyone who sees it. The crowd at the Republican National Convention
screening, who already fear that their suburban enclaves will be
infiltrated by progressive goons, grew visibly afraid – that's the
point of propaganda. On the other hand, anyone who spent significant
time at Occupy camps will be aggravated by the deliberate
one-sidedness, and by the dizzying repetitive loop of the same few
violent outbursts from last fall.

While
this film is offensive for its superficiality, the even bigger insult
comes from the alleged motivation driving it. “Andrew did not
tolerate bullies,” according to Larry Solov, Breitbart's business
partner and friend since childhood. “And he saw [those in the
Occupy movement] as a bunch of bullies.” That's an especially sick
assertion considering how much more the movie sympathizes for the
children of despised Bank of America executives than it does for kids
who are poverty-stricken.

The
notion that this was Breitbart's “last great major work,” as
noted by Citizens United president David Bossi at the RNC premiere,
truly demonstrates what hacks they both are. Admittedly, filmmakers
only went to nine occupied cities in making Unmasked; that
despite their bottomless budget, and there having at one point been
more than 1500 active camps. This lackadaisical myopia is perfectly
exemplified in one Breitbart soliloquy about union involvement, in
which he admits, “all I needed to find out about Occupy I learned
at Occupy LA.”

But
that's Breitbart in the nutshell that was his hard-right bubble,
where his legacy is sheathed by countless fluffers who defend his
cheap excuse for tabloid journalism. For them, and for anyone else
who worships this kind of conspiratorial trash, Occupy Unmasked
is tantamount to hardcore porn. In introducing the film in Tampa,
Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann noted that “everyone who
[Breitbart] ever met thought he was their best friend.” I guess
you'd have to be to think his final opus is anything but a disgrace.