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Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Redemptive Nature of Girl Power

This year I decided to go on our church's women's retreat after some not so subtle prompting from the Holy Spirit. I had never been on a women's retreat before. In fact, I had only been away from my family for two nights one other time since the birth of our first child five years ago. I was convicted when I signed up with a couple of girlfriends that it was the right decision. But as the date approached, I started to doubt.

All of us can keep busy schedules. Those of you with little children may
sometimes feel engulfed by yours. It was
one of those times for me. I had just
hosted family for several days for Easter the weekend before. The visit was great, but in its wake our
house was a mess and our kids were exhausted.
I felt the need to relax, but instead I was supposed to pack and travel
the next weekend too. I wondered, “Will my weekend away really be worth all of
this hassle?”

Despite my doubts about going, I kept my commitment and
followed through. I knew God would bless
the weekend – but he did so in a way that surprised me. These are some of the retreat blessings I anticipated: The opportunity to hear
a fabulous speaker, make new friends, divorce my cellphone for a weekend, and take
a long nap. (I was particularly excited
about the latter. Seriously, moms, when is the last time you took a long, uninterrupted nap completely
guilt-free?) Well, God did deliver on
all of those things, but they weren't the best part. The best part was experiencing the unique power
of collective feminine witness, which manifested itself in three ways.

First, I experienced connection. When I mention connection, I am not talking
about making new friends. I am talking
about the power of female community. I
live in a house with four males – my husband, two sons, and a male cat. As wonderfully sensitive and loving as they
are, they are not females. I was amazed
by the vulnerability and desire to share stories on the retreat. It was prevalent and effortless. It was
women communicating in the way God designed us to need.

When I think about my weekly schedule with little children,
maybe I sneak in a quick conversation with a friend during a playdate. Maybe I meet a friend for coffee and have a
quick heart-to-heart before dashing to pick my children up from preschool. Maybe I arrange to have a dinner out with a
friend once in a while. I might feel
fueled by each of these outlets, but they are not the same as a collection of
women coming together to communicate for an entire weekend. I saw
lives not just touched, but transformed.

Second, I experienced communal wisdom. If you think about it, each of us has a
limited sphere of connection. Despite
the fact that I am a pastor and rather outgoing, my immediate circle of friends
is small and fairly homogeneous. The
friends whom I regularly see live near me, are of similar age, and engage in
some of the same activities. I know
their stories, and they know mine.
Imagine the power, however, of hearing new stories from women of varying
ages and backgrounds. Imagine the
communal truth that can emerge.

Just like wars have been fought for similar reasons throughout
history, I’m learning marriages end for similar reasons. Friendships collapse for similar reasons. Children go down the wrong path for similar
reasons. Sharing communal wisdom is essential for the protection and growth of
what we value most.We all know live, personal testimonies are
far more effective than anything we can read in a book, but we need to take
advantage of the opportunity to hear them.
If you are a young woman, perhaps you have been hesitant to go on a
retreat because yours is largely attended by older women; consider the fact
that their stories might be just what God wants you to hear.

Finally, I experienced continued growth in perspective. In one weekend, there were stories of
divorce, imprisonment, assault and battery, and mental illness, among
others, and that’s from a healthy, suburban church. Creation is still groaning. If you think you must suffer alone and in
silence, if you believe no one can possibly understand your pain, if you think
there is no place to express your anger toward God in Christian community, you
are listening to the Deceiver. Sometimes the greatest gift God can give us
are hands to hold from women who understand, and together we can resurrect from
the ashes through faith.

So in answer to my question, “Will my weekend away really be worth all of this hassle?”, my
answer undoubtedly is YES.God blessed
my time on the retreat abundantly.And
in fact, I have come to see the hassle beforehand differently too.The responsibilities that seemed onerous to
arrange before I left are for a family that I now appreciate even more. For amidst a recognition of life’s trials,
we can better celebrate every good gift.