Link Love (29/12/2012)

News Across the World

Afghanistan: “”The campaign mainly focuses on unaffordable walwars, a shameful custom, which is putting enormous financial strain on families,” says Deputy Women’s Affairs Minister Mezhgan Mustafavi. “But it also includes a fight against some of our other marital traditions, such as marrying off girls to settle family feuds — a so-called ‘bad’ marriage.”” Afghanistan Seeks Divorce from Long-standing Marital Traditions – RFERL

Thought-provoking

“Here’s the thing, though. If you’re reading a magazine article to find out if you cheated or not, you’re doing it wrong, because it can’t answer that question for you. The only person who can tell you that is your partner.
Nobody else can tell you what “cheating” means in your particular relationship because it’s different in each one.” There Is No Universal Definition of “Cheating” – Brute Reason

“We’d like to think that addicts have a choice, that they can just choose to stop—even if it’s hard.
But Maté insists that the ability to choose is limited by the addict’s physiology and personal history.
“The more you’re driven by unconscious mechanisms, because of earlier defensive reaction to trauma, the less choice you actually have,” he says. “Most people have much less choice in things than we actually recognize.”” Gabor Maté: Why We’re a Culture of Addicts – Spirituality & Health Magazine

Religion

“Religious people are often on a hair-trigger to be offended. And they will often want you to “respectfully” refrain from irreverently treating the objects of their reverence. But you shouldn’t treat what they treat as above reproach or ridicule because when you do that, you implicitly affirm, and behave as though, these things are out of bounds for criticism. In effect, you treat these things as holy. In this way you inadvertently share the religious values about what may or may not be criticized and how it may be tackled if at all. In this way, you submit to their religion’s rules. In this way you let a religious culture co-opt your own conscience and give religious rules control over your own feelings about what is holy, i.e. “set apart” and “sacred” and “worthy of respect”.” Help Break the Spell of Religious Reverence (Tip 5 of 10 for Reaching Out to Religious People) – Camels With Hammers

“Am I saying that being Christian makes someone violent or more likely to be a murderer? No. I’m simply saying that the idea that our murder rate is high because of “spiritual darkness” while the murder rate in Asia and Oceania is a fifth what it is in the Americas even as only 7% of the people are Christian is crazy. And that’s something we need to be pointing out.” Tragedies Should Be Calls to Action – Love, Joy, Feminism

“This is precisely why atheists are bewildered by the recurring question believers pose to us on how will we know not to murder and rape without religion telling us not to do it. When you use this argument, to me it is terrifying. Basically what you are saying is that what stands between you and a serial killer is a fragile belief in a supernatural deity made up by illiterate people trying to figure out why the sun hid at night. The irony here is that believers use this argument supposedly from a position of moral superiority. No, this doesn’t go over well, theists.” Atheists have no moral compass – Monicks

Equality

“Last week, the internet was shocked and pleased to learn that Victoria’s Secret had launched a new line of consent-themed underwear. Instead of a thong reading “SURE THING,” these panties said things like “NO MEANS NO” and “ASK FIRST.” Even more exciting, they were modeled by a beaming curvy woman of color. “I’m the first person to go on a tirade about how much I hate VS, but this is awesome,” wrote one blogger — a sentiment that echoed throughout the Tumblr/Facebook/Twitter-sphere. Pretty shortly, though, the campaign was revealed as a sophisticated hoax perpetrated by a group ofradical Baltimore feminists. BFB asked Baltimore residents Hannah Brancato and Rebecca Nagle about their intentions, future plans — and the angry reaction from Victoria’s Secret:” Baltimore Feminists Prank Victoria’s Secret – And Spark an Internet Revolution – Baltimore Fishbowl

“Where to start? How about with the facts. Only 9% of rapes are committed by strangers. Women are much more likely to be raped or attacked by men they know, in their own home or workplace. So it’s hugely unhelpful and unsisterly – not to mention creepy as hell – for Moran to immediately link the sound of a woman walking home in high heels with her being raped and murdered. Women already feel excessively afraid of walking home at night, and all she’s done here is potentially increased this fear among her many female fans.” How to be a victim blamer – The F-Word

Beauty & Body Image

“Part of teaching people to accept, own, and respect their bodies and the bodies of others is helping them to unlearn the social myths that they’ve been sold and to provide accurate information about their bodies. So, for women with vaginas*, here’s a primer that outlines four myths that keep us from loving our vulvas – and from loving ourselves.” Our Vulvas, Ourselves – Adios Barbie