One of the most limiting beliefs that play out in our day to day lives is that of ‘survival mode’. Now you may be saying, ‘I’m not living my life in survival mode’, but let’s take a deeper look at what that really means and see if you can recognize any patterns of survival mode that play out in your life.

Survival mode:

I have to do this otherwise I won’t get what I want

If I don’t take control of this situation, then things will turn out bad

I’m afraid that if my kid makes the wrong choice, his life will be difficult

I’m working hard now so my future will be better

I (or my kids) have to study harder, achieve more, be better so that I can get accepted into that college, or land that job in order to create a safe and secure future

When I save more money, then I can slow down and enjoy life

There is not enough __________ (money, support, opportunities, jobs, experiences, time, etc.) for me to feel satisfied or to enjoy life now

If I make enough money to get by and pay my bills, then I am doing pretty good

I’ll invest the time in my life to do __________ once things get easier for us

Where are you placing limitations on yourself and your life? All of the above are examples of a belief in lack and limitation, which cause you to live your life in survival mode. And this goes against the Universal Law of Allowing.

It’s important that we teach the younger generations how to create a great life through the understanding of the natural laws of Universe so that they are not programmed into survival mode to repeat the patterns that cause struggle.

In this article, I provide 3 tips that will help shift your mindset from that of survival to one of allowing.

1) Beliefs of Unworthiness – For the majority of us, this is the number one reason we do not allow more success, abundance and happiness in our lives. We have bought into the belief and lie of our own unworthiness.

Does any of this sound familiar to you or your son/daugther? ‘I am not smart enough to achieve that’, ‘Other people do it better than me, so why will I be accepted or chosen for the job (college, team, etc.), ‘I can’t be happy with myself because I am ________ (lazy, too shy, too slow, not cool enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not funny enough, not liked enough).

These beliefs have been programmed into our minds as we have grown up looking outside of ourselves for validation and approval.

We have learned to believe what is acceptable through the media, our schooling, our peers, family traditions, society, and everyone else.

Here is a big tip: when you think a thought about yourself, if it feels heavy and constricting, it is a lie that you have bought into, if it feels light and expansive, it is your truth.

Work on challenging your limiting beliefs and creating new supportive beliefs that are in alignment with your desires and share those with your kids.

2) Have you bought into the lie of lack and limitation?
Our world has been programmed to live in lack, to believe that there is not enough and that we have to work hard for things or even fight for them in order to survive.

This lie has created a world living in survival mode. It has created poverty, war and suffering all over the globe. What we believe becomes our reality and since our world has been manipulated and programmed to believe that life is a struggle and that there is a limitation on what you can have, achieve and create, we have created that as our reality.

We were never taught the truth about the Law of Abundance. The truth is that we live in a world and Universe of abundance.

Just look to nature for the answers. Nature is abundant in every way unless man forces his way to destroy this abundance. When you learn to look at life from the perspective of abundance, you allow abundance to flow into your life. This is another mindset skill you can teach your children now to set them up for a life filled with abundance.

3) Can You Allow Yourself to Ask for Something Even Better?
Again, we have been programmed to settle. Gratitude is NOT about accepting and being satisfied with having just enough and so we shall not dare to ask for more because if we do, we are considered greedy. Another lie!

Again, look at the Universe. It is continually expanding and creating more and more possibilities. We are part of this system. We are expanding beings that are meant to create and expand the world and the Universe through our own expansion.

Think about what happens in your life when you do not allow yourself to expand beyond your current experiences. For example, if you don’t allow yourself to receive a raise at your job, or if you didn’t allow yourself to move from your first apartment into a bigger house for your family. Or if you didn’t allow yourself to get married and expand your family. Where would you be now if you didn’t allow for these things?

Seems pretty limiting to live in that way, right? The same thing goes for our lives and expecting to receive something better, whether it is more money, more friends, more love, a better career, more freedom to do the things we want, more time off of work, etc.

When we allow ourselves to ask for something even better than we are living right now (from the place of feeling happy with where we are currently standing), when we focus on the abundance in our lives that exists all around us, and we work to change our beliefs of unworthiness to those of acceptance and love of self, you will be living your life in alignment with the Universal Law of Allowing.

Teach your kids these laws now so they don’t grow up continuing the cycle of survival and struggle. You will be so happy you did and they will thank you for it for the rest of their abundant lives!

]]>http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2015/02/3-tips-to-shift-your-mindset-from-survival-to-allowing/feed/05 Steps to Upgrade Your Life in the New Yearhttp://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/12/5-steps-to-upgrade-your-life-in-the-new-year/
http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/12/5-steps-to-upgrade-your-life-in-the-new-year/#commentsMon, 29 Dec 2014 10:00:45 +0000http://mindfocusgeneration.com/?p=2511

Most of us have been there before—we are determined and motivated to set New Year’s resolutions and for the first few days or even weeks, it may work out. But sooner or later you give up on your goal and it leaves you believing that you are weak-willed or feeling like a failure. And that’s why the majority of us don’t even bother!

So does this mean that it’s not worth it to upgrade your life in areas that are no longer serving you?

Absolutely not!

Life is always about learning, growing and improving in all areas of life. But I like to approach resolutions in a much different way and that is the reason I have been able to grow and expand by leaps and bounds in my own life over the past several years.

First off, the reasons that New Year’s resolutions don’t work is because they are often goals that we ‘think’ we should be setting and they are not coming from a place of deep inspiration and heart-centered connection with our soul.

Just think about trying to motivate a kid who is not really connected to what you are asking him or her to do!! Uggh, it’s force and struggle because deep down inside that child knows what you are asking them to do is not coming a self-guided place of inspiration. They may do the task, but half-heartedly and begrudgingly.

And the same is true with your inner child!

Also, New Year’s resolutions are usually some type of goal that may be unrealistic or might not be the right time. Our minds may want to do something but if our emotions or subconscious minds are telling us something different, we are out of alignment with what we think we want.

The way I approach any change in my life, at any time of the year, is by focusing on how I want to EXPERIENCE MYSELF. I always like starting off the New Year with a fresh, new perspective on how I would like to experience the New Year. It sets the energy and gets my intentions out into the universe in a strong and deliberate way.

Here are 5 steps to manifesting a New Year that is meaningful to YOU. Even better, you can also teach your kids to do this as a life-long way of BEING!

1. Focus on what you want to experience rather than what you want to gain or achieve. Some examples may be:

I want to experience more peace and stillness in my life so I can become more present and mindful of everything in my life.

I want to experience more abundance in my life so I can enjoy all the amazing things this world and universe has to offer me.

I want to spend more time with my children and make this a priority over anything else.

I want to experience more family vacation time.

I want to experience more confidence, spiritual growth and love.

I want to experience vibrant health and well-being.

I want to experience a deeper connection with my spouse, kids, etc.

I want to experience more time for self-care.

I want to experience myself as a confident, happy and successful being.

2. When focusing on what you want to experience this year, visualize how it will feel and act ‘as if’ you already have it.

3. Look for ways, even if they are small or few and far between, in which you already experience this energy in your life. Focus on how that feels when you allow yourself to experience this in your reality. Amp up this energy right now!

4. Write it down! When you write it down, it is the first appearance of what you want to manifest in your reality. Come back to this commitment you made to yourself for what you want to experience in your life on a regular basis. At a minimum, review your written manifestation every week but it is better to remind yourself daily.

5. Declare, decide and put your stake in the ground! After all, it is your life and nobody gets to create for you but you! It’s true that we all create our own reality, so don’t delay any longer.

Stop creating your life by DEFAULT and DECIDE that you are choosing to experience life on your terms. It may not be perfect, but hey, who said it has to be. Perfection is an illusion anyway!

If you don’t decide deliberately what you want to experience, whatever that may be, then others will decide for you (the government, the media, the schools, your spouse, parents, children, etc.) and that isn’t much fun now, is it? And what better way to empower your children but to be the model of empowerment by choosing how you want to experience your own life!

While the holidays are a time of celebration and joy, for many it can bring up a lot of stress and overwhelm.

These days, it seems that the holidays are more about doing than being. Especially if you are a parent! There are holiday parties, school events, shopping, baking, cooking and cleaning, visiting lots of relatives and friends, decorating, bills to pay, kids parties and more. Wow, how do we find the time for it all while still enjoying the true meaning of the holidays?

Many years ago I gave up the belief of stressing and ‘doing’ too much for the holidays and I have to say I LOVE THE HOLIDAYS even more than I did when I was in my early twenties, with not nearly as many responsibilities as I have now!

How did I do this? Simple. I set the intention to do so. I decided. I affirmed. I deliberately create it each and every year. It’s true we all create our own reality so I decided that my reality every holiday season would be about bringing in the spirit, the true spirit, of the holiday season.

Here are 9 Tips to Enrich Your Holiday Season to help you ground in the spirit of the holidays and truly enjoy each moment!

#1 Make it Simple

I decided many years ago that I was going to make it simple…as simple as it could possibly be. To me that means shopping locally (avoiding large department stores, malls and chain stores) and maybe meeting a friend for dinner or coffee while enjoying the festivities in town. I love going into a local town and buying gifts that are unique, thoughtful and eco-friendly, while also contributing to the local economy. I also take advantage of purchasing things online to make it easier.

#2 Saying, “No Thank You”

Another big thing I say is “No Thank You”. There are many parties and gatherings that we may feel obligated to attend. If it feels stressful or overwhelming to me, or if it takes me away from other things I would prefer to be doing, even if that is relaxing by the fire, then I give myself full permission to say, “No thank you.”

What’s the point of doing, doing, doing, if we cannot be fully present and enjoy what we are doing? People understand when you say “no thank you” because they are busy themselves. And if they don’t understand, well, that is their issue that you don’t have to take responsibility for.

#3 Aromatherapy

Surround yourself with uplifting scents to arouse your mood. There are lots of amazing aromatherapy scents for the holiday season that bring up that warm, delicious, joyful and serene holiday feeling. Choose non-toxic, clean essential oils. They keep you healthy and uplift your mood.

#4 Schedule in Family Time

The people we share our home with are the lights of our life. Being together around the table for meals, conversation, family games or quiet relaxation are the moments we realize that we truly have everything we need.

#5 Slow Down

Focus on slowing down. The slower you go, the more you accomplish. As you slow down, you become fully present.

Did you see my interview on “Mindfulness Skills for Kids and Teens” with Debra Burdick? CLICK HERE

What I share is that by enjoying your surroundings you raise your vibration, which therefore attracts better experiences to you. Rather than coming from a place of stress and overwhelm, where you will then continue to attract more things to feel stressed and overwhelmed about.

#6 Setting Your Intention Daily

Take time each day, even if it’s just 5-10 minutes, to set the intention and call in the energy of what you would like to experience for the day and/or season. It could be peace, joy, gratitude, appreciation, laughter, romance, etc. This year I choose to have a romantic holiday season. I visualize and feel the romance of sitting quietly by the fire with my loving husband, enjoying the sounds and sights of the winter season.

#7 Make Your Passions Your Priorities

Learn that it’s okay not to do everything. Pick the most important and passionate things and really live those up. Celebrate them and make them the focus on your holiday season.

#8 Gratitude

Give daily gratitude and appreciation for all the blessings in your life. The people you love, the people who love you, the money you do have, the home you do have, the health you do have, the food you do have. There are a million things to be grateful for in this moment!

#9 Giving Back

Give back. Donate, volunteer or simply send special notes of gratitude and appreciation to people or organizations that have made a difference in your life.

As a parent, it’s extremely easy to worry about your child’s future. You want the very best for them. As they are getting older, you may find yourself becoming more concerned about what their future will look like and if they will become a confident, happy, productive adult.

First I’d like to ask you two important questions:

Do you want your child to engage in a future that they are passionate about?

Are you open to your child exploring any passion that they have?

I ask these questions because many parents have pre-determined ideas about what their children should do with their life or what they think their child would succeed in. In order for your child to truly find their way, they will need your support to travel any path.

I’ll give you an example. When I was a teacher, I remember having a quiet boy named Jordan in class. He didn’t like school very much because he didn’t feel that he was a good student. One thing he was passionate about was video games. He loved all aspects of the video-gaming world.

When I spoke to Jordan about all of the possibilities of having a career in the video gaming industry, his entire perspective about his future changed. A shift in his perspective allowed him to get excited about the possibilities of himself as an expert in video gaming, making lots of money designing cool games. The thought that he was talented at something that can be applied to his future career helped him to feel much more confident about his abilities.

You can nurture this confidence and excitement with your own children. Here are three things you can do right now to inspire your children and remove your own worry.

Stop Comparing Your Child to Other Children in a Way that Puts Them Down

It is very hurtful to a child when they are compared to other children in a way that puts them down.

Instead, use comparison in a way that lifts everyone up by showing your child the value that everyone contributes. For example: “Sam is great at math and doing well in his math classes. Becky, you may be struggling with math right now, but that’s okay. You will eventually learn what you need to know. You are doing so well in your English class. We are proud of you and Sam exactly as you are.”

It is important to boost confidence in every child so they can thrive.

Help Your Child Focus on What They Enjoy Doing

Every person is talented in so many things. Including you – Mom or Dad! Help your child to focus and nurture what they do enjoy doing and get creative with them to think outside the box.

You may want to make a list with your children of the things you each really enjoy doing. This could be a fun family activity for everyone to write their lists together and then participate in those activities on the list.

Get ready to think in and outside the box. For instance, things like painting and playing catch may be on the list. Some other things people enjoy doing but don’t always think of is making lists, planning, cooking, reading, etc. Look at everything each of your enjoy doing and help each other with your “Enjoyment List”. You each may forget things you enjoy doing and reminding each other makes this an extra special family experience. You may be surprised what your children notice about you and they may be surprised about what you notice with them.

Remember that so many things you enjoy can be turned into careers. A person that enjoys painting may become an artist, an art curator, own a gallery, etc. Your child may like to play catch now and in the future could do it professionally as a player, a coach, a manager, a sports news person, etc. Someone that enjoys making lists and planning may become a great project manager, travel agent or entrepreneur. Cooking is a great skill that can be applied to restaurants, cooking shows, books and more. Those that enjoy reading may become authors themselves, editors, proofreaders, book store owners or work in book publishing.

There are a myriad of opportunities for any and all passions that you and your children have!

Find Your Child a Mentor in the Passion That They Have

If your child is interested in a particular career, help them find an adult in that field to have a conversation with. I recommend having a conversation with this person first to be sure you are okay with your child learning from them. Then set up a phone call or an in-person meeting for your child.

Your child can talk to this person about how they got to where they are today and some of the obstacles they overcame to succeed. Have your child make a list of everything they’d like to know and see about this career choice, so they can make the most out of their experience. Having a tour of the work facilities of this career would also be helpful so your child can envision if this is a place for them.

It’s important for children to explore their passions without judgment. Allowing them to find their way will most certainly guarantee their success.

]]>http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/10/how-to-remove-the-worry-about-your-childs-future/feed/0Empowered Parents: 3 Options You Have Right Now to Shift Out of Homework Overwhelmhttp://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/09/empowered-parents-3-options-you-have-right-now-to-shift-out-of-homework-overwhelm/
http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/09/empowered-parents-3-options-you-have-right-now-to-shift-out-of-homework-overwhelm/#commentsTue, 30 Sep 2014 19:26:52 +0000http://mindfocusgeneration.com/?p=2404

Now that the new school year is well under way, parents and students are feeling the usual pressure of staying on top of school responsibilities, particularly homework.

Here in the United States, most schools have implemented the Common Core Standards, which according to most parents, teachers and students that I have heard from, feel it is placing way too much pressure on everyone involved.

Students are expected to do too much academic work with little time left for physical and leisure activity, which we all know is not only important, but crucial for the physical, mental and emotional development for children of all ages.

But what I’m hearing from parents is a sense of frustration and even helplessness. Their kids are coming home after a long day at school, only to have to sit and focus on homework for another hour or even two!

I can’t speak for everyone, but I know after a long day of work, the last thing I want to do is gear up for more work in the evening…but that is what we are expecting of our youth these days.

When speaking with parents, I’ve found that many feel and believe they have no control over this issue. In fact, they believe their children HAVE TO do as the schools say. To me, that is not freedom, that is disempowerment!

I’d like to take some time to share with you some basic tips for helping you to navigate this overwhelm that you and your kids may be feeling when it comes to school responsibilities and the struggle of homework.

Let’s look at a few things. When it comes to sitting down and doing homework, are your kids:

Fighting you and resisting your attempts to have them get it done

Crying, stressed and overwhelmed when they get home

Burnt out when it comes time to do more work in the late afternoon or evening

Being turned off when it comes to learning and school, even though you know they are natural learners

Bored with focusing on academics for the majority of the day

Acting out in school

Lying about the amount of homework they have to do

Finding it difficult to focus at the end of the day

If any of these ring true for you and your children, perhaps it’s time rethink homework.

When it comes to our kids, their negative behavior is an indication of needs not being met. As adults, parents and teachers alike, it is our responsibility to make sure the needs of every child is being met so they can learn and grow at a pace that is right for them.

Instead we force a one-size-fits-all approach to education and behavior. There is a belief that when it comes to homework, kids just need to do it.

Here are a couple questions to ask yourself:

What is the end result I am hoping for my child(ren) to achieve?
Most likely the answer is happiness, confidence, success, intelligence and well-being.

Is homework overwhelm in my children (and myself) bringing my children closer or further away from being happy, confident, successful and well-rounded?
We all know that stress causes imbalance in the physical, mental and emotional body. So why are we insisting that our kids complete their homework at the cost of their overall well-being?

So what are your options?

Remember that you always get to choose. Stand in your power of choice and remember that you have the right to say ‘this is too much for my kid’. Just because a school or teacher is requiring a certain amount of homework to be done, does not mean you and your family need to comply. Again come back to what is most important for your child and family.

You may need to consult a doctor and talk about the stress related issues that are caused by too much homework and academics. The right doctor can inform your school that your child can only perform a certain amount of after-school work. The school cannot legally penalize your child for not doing this work when it comes to his or her health.

Ban together with other parents. More than likely you are not the only family dealing with this difficulty. This is what Parent Teacher Associations are for. If a number of parents stand up and say ‘enough is enough’ the school will likely make changes. Schools need to be listening to parents and kids, not legislatures, when it comes to the educational needs of children

Connect back to your spiritual center (Source, Spirit, God, Goddess, the Universe or however you prefer to view this connection). Center yourself in order to make clear, informed choices for you and your family. Ask Spirit to guide you in making the best choices that are in the highest good for all involved.

Then meditate on the essence of what you would like to bring into your life. It may be freedom, empowerment, peace, confidence, certainty, trust or well-being. Whatever it is for you, just know as you focus on bringing more of these qualities into your life, through the Law of Attraction, the Universe supports you in experiencing more of the same and in turn, this will support your children.

If you are interested in learning more about what the research shows about homework and education, Alfie Kohn, author and speaker on human behavior, education, and parenting, has much to offer on the topic. As author of The Homework Myth and many other books on parenting and education, Alfie offers facts and tips on this website

Back to School time can be a little crazy. With supplies, books, new outfits and shifting out of the summer schedule into the school schedule, you certainly don’t need any more on your plate, in fact, what you need are ways to reduce the stress for you and your kids.

Try out these 3 Tips to Reduce Stress for You and Your Kids:

Morning stretch and meditation with your kids.

If your children are younger, this is a great habit to establish at a young age.

If your children are older and reluctant to do this with you, encourage them to join a yoga class instead with a friend after school.

After-school chat.

Talk to your kids about their day at school and do your best to not judge what they say and instead listen from a neutral, loving place. Your children will share all kinds of things when you listen with an open heart and they feel safe to be heard and understood no matter what they say.

This kind of dialogue reduces stress on your kids, giving them the outlet to express the “highs” and “lows” of their day and giving them the opportunity to share things that may be bothering them, where they want your support.

Talking it out is a way to explore our feelings and understand them. Give your child that opportunity to share without interrupting and you’ll find out how smart they are with problem solving (regardless of age) and you’ll be able to be there for them when they could use some true advice from someone that was a kid not too long ago, remember, that’s you!

-And by the way, your children may have great advice for you with your own challenges.

Support learning not grades.

School was originally designed as a place for learning. Now, the energy has shifted to grades being the objective, instead of learning the material in a holistic way.

Giving more meaning to grades can cause undue stress on your child, which is counterproductive. The most important thing is that your child feels fulfilled and loved for who they are, regardless of their school performance.

The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance reminds us to see ourselves and our loved ones as good enough just as they are, without needing to prove anything to earn love and approval.

Start incorporating these tips one at a time or all at once – write them on a sticky note and keep them with you.

You and your kids deserve a stress-free life, as much as you can make that possible, so that all of your can thrive and truly enjoy this life experience. After all, each of us are here to learn and grow, you are learning along with your kids, so take it easy on yourself and it will enable you to take it easier on them!

Let me know how these tips work for you – post your note on my Facebook page.

]]>http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/09/back-to-school-3-tips-to-reduce-stress-for-you-and-your-kids/feed/0What’s so Final About Final Exams?http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/06/whats-so-final-about-final-exams/
http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/06/whats-so-final-about-final-exams/#commentsThu, 12 Jun 2014 02:03:49 +0000http://mindfocusgeneration.com/?p=2341

It’s that time of year… final exams are here! Parents, teachers and students are feeling the pressure of finishing out the school year on a good note. To make matters worse, the Common Core Standards are an additional stress in our lives.

We all want our children and students to do well, but what does that really mean? Is success defined by a test score? Do final grades really determine the future success of an individual? Does it all end there? Or do we allow it to end there because of the meaning we attach to tests and grades?

Has our reliance on test scores for “achievement” taken us further away from what we really want for our kids? I would say yes!

Here are some tips to help put things into perspective so you and your kids can avoid stressful arguments and feel good about the end of the school year:

Don’t attach meaning to the outcome of your child’s testsMany parents and teachers project into a child’s future that they will not do well in life or have a happy and successful career if their grades are not average or above average.

From my experience, as a former high school teacher, a student’s well-being is negatively effected when parents and schools make too much of a deal about tests results. When a kid hears, “you have to be successful in school if you want to be successful in life,” they feel inadequate if they aren’t meeting expectations. This results in a poor self-image and a lack of confidence in their own abilities and intelligence. Remember this: A positive self-image is the number one ingredient for a successful life!

Focus on your child’s mental, physical and emotional health and well-being first
It’s obvious that today’s academic climate is damaging our kids mental, emotional and even physical health due to stress and anxiety. Rather than expecting positive feelings to come to you and your child based on his/her performance in school, accept wherever you child is at academically.

Remember that when you are coming from a place of non-judgment you are creating the space for them thrive on their own terms, which is what true success and confidence is all about.

Work with your own energy first before approaching you child/student about his/her studiesIf you are coming from a place of worry, frustration, anger or stress you are creating resistance. Nobody, especially teenagers, feels motivated or inspired to make positive changes when it’s coming from a place negativity.

Before you talk to your child/student about studying and their grades, be sure that you are in a neutral place and release attachment to outcome. From this place, your child/student will be more inclined to be open to suggestions and support rather than fighting back.

And in working with energy, remember the Law of Reflection will always mirror back to you what’s going on within yourself.

By balancing expectations, taking care of what’s most important when it comes to your child or student’s well-being and working with your energy, you will find yourself playing a bigger role in influencing your child or students success!

Inspiring Kids

Have you seen this Tedx video of 13 year-old Logan LaPlante?

I love this kid! He really gets what’s going on and has such a realistic and inspiring message for us all.

If you tuned into the interview I had with Tori Hartman during Successful Kids Revolution, you may remember the emotional release I had in making the connection between my grandmother (my father’s mother) passing away when my mother was pregnant with me and my life’s path. It was quite a breakthrough for me.

You see, ever since I can remember, boys and young men have come to me for support with emotional issues. It started when I was in high school, having male friends come to me to talk about their problems.

Later in life as a teacher, it seemed that every troubled high school boy would land on my doorstep. As a coach, this continues.

I can tell you this – I understand the deep pain that boys and young men are struggling with. And when I came upon this video, it really resonated with me.

The Mask You Live In

From a spiritual perspective, I’ve been trying to understand this connection I have with troubled youth (particularly young men), the suicide and drug related deaths of too many young people I’ve known, and my life’s purpose.

For the longest time, I’ve had these questions floating around in my head that went something like this: What the heck do I do with this information? How do I help? Why is this showing up in my life so much? Why do I have such a strong emotional connection to kids that struggle? Why do I attract boys and young men into my life that need support with so many issues? Why do I understand their pain unlike so many others? It’s as if I can read their mind and tap into their emotions…and the truth is, I can.

During my live interview with Tori Hartman, she helped me to solve the riddle that I’ve been questioning for a very long time.

Tori revealed that when I was born part of my purpose was to heal the emotional pain my dad was carrying due to the death of his mother. She told me because of this, I have a need within me to help heal the emotional pain of males. WOW!!! There it is, the answer to the riddle.

Then when my dad passed away in 2007, my spiritual journey was triggered and it lead me to creating something really positive so that I can guide others to heal and support youth all over the world. That healing part of me gets to play a bigger game in the world now.

I think most of us understand there is so much pain and anger within so many young men today. It’s time to shift our ways of being in society if we are ever going to reverse this pain we’ve created.

So what is going on that causes boys to turn angry and create the MASK?

All these tough guys that I’ve worked with as a teacher, mentor and coach had one thing in common: a big heart with a fear of showing it to the world.

To cope and fit into what society programs them to believe about who they “should” be as “men”, many young men create a hard exterior.

Not only does posturing create a false identify for our young men, it leads to many issues that are unhealthy and down right dangerous.

Here’s some of what these boys and young men shared with me that I want to pass on to you:

It’s embarrassing to be seen as soft or weak and when you are emotional, that is weakness, unless that emotion is anger.

I have many emotions that need to be felt but because it’s not accepted in our society, I will never share these feelings with you or anyone unless you really provide a space of complete trust and acceptance. This can take lots of time.

I would rather cover up the pain with drugs or use violence as a release.

When I don’t feel safe to express myself, I will take that anger out in society in any way I can.

Nobody understands me and the pressures placed on me as a guy.

I hate that I need to prove my internal and external strength to friends and family. It’s overwhelming!

For me, I understand that as long as I hold the space for these young men to feel safe in sharing their feelings, no matter what they are in the moment, they begin to shed layers of that mask. I hold no expectations or judgments about what they should be or do. When we can do this for them, they grow into strong, confident and balanced men.

What can you do to create a safe space for the boys and young men in your life?

]]>http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2014/03/supporting-young-men-to-release-pain-and-anger/feed/0The Importance of Raising Children with an Abundant Mindsethttp://mindfocusgeneration.com/2013/05/the-importance-of-raising-children-with-an-abundant-mindset/
http://mindfocusgeneration.com/2013/05/the-importance-of-raising-children-with-an-abundant-mindset/#commentsWed, 22 May 2013 16:00:42 +0000http://mindfocusgeneration.com/?p=1819

I cannot speak for everyone but I’m pretty certain that most of us were raised and educated based on a lack mindset. What is a lack mindset you ask? It is one in which we see and believe in limitation. For example, when a situation does not go as planned, do you look at all the things that went wrong with the situation or do you look at what went right and for opportunities to learn and grow? Another example of a lack mindset is comparing ourselves to others. Looking at how you are less-than or better-than another person is based on lack because those thoughts hold the belief that you are not enough just as you are or that another person should be different somehow. When it comes to young people, a very common lack-based belief they hold is that others do not want to support them or that life works against them. They may hold the belief that there is limitation to what they can achieve and the opportunities that are available to them in any given moment. When this happens, they feel hopeless. And when young people feel hopeless, they make decisions that are not for their highest good. The truth is, the universe is a lovingly abundant place. The universe only knows abundance. The universe adores each and every one of us so much that it gives us whatever we desire. The key is that what we desire must be spoken in the language of vibration, of energy. There are so many false beliefs and premises that we were taught growing up and that we continue to perpetuate in the world by raising and educating our kids to hold the same mindset. What this is doing is creating even more lack and so we continue to experience in our lives. It’s feeding this never-ending cycle of struggle and pain. If you were a teenager and saw what was going on in the world, would you feel confused and afraid about your future? Would this help you to make decisions about what you want to do with your life or do you think it may hold you back? Do you see how important it is to break this cycle now? When we feel that we are not enough (lack) or believe that we do not have enough (lack), or think that others do not support us (lack), then we give off an energetic vibration that says to the universe “I am lack, give me more. I like this because it is where I am choosing to focus and therefore what I vibrate at”. Now the majority of us are not consciously choosing to vibrate in a place of lack, we’ve just been programmed to think this way. We’ve been sold the lie of lack and limitation and bought it lock, stock and barrel! After all, I had no idea that this was the case until I started to really question what life is all about. I wanted to find ways to make life better for myself and others and in doing so I found out the truth about the Universal Laws. One of them is the Law of Abundance, which simply states that the universe is an abundant place. However, if you focus on lack, then you will get just that—an abundance of lack. That’s a lot of lack! A lack-based mindset is the reason that it seems that we cannot get ahead in life or achieve the things we really desire. But this is an illusion. All you have to do is begin to consciously work on your beliefs and then your energy field, your vibration, will change and by virtue of the law of attraction, so will your outer reality. One of my biggest missions in this life is to change the way we raise and educate our children so that they can grow up to be happy, confident, successful and live well balanced lives. It is also important that we begin to change things for the younger generation so they do not have to work so hard in changing their limiting beliefs once they become adults. I’m sure as an adult reading this you know what I am talking about. If our children are given a solid foundation now, this solid foundation will become the beliefs that create a magnificent life filled with opportunities, unlimited joy, nourishing relationships, adventure, and good-will toward humanity and the planet. Let’s take a look at some of the important beliefs that are associated with an abundant mindset and compare them to that of a lack mindset as it relates to life and young people. Lack- I will never be able to get this. It’s not possible. Abundant- There is always opportunity for me to grow and learn. I’m doing just fine. Lack-Nobody likes me. People treat me badly. Abundant-I like me and because I like me, others treat me how I treat myself. Lack-I have to fight for my share. Abundant-There is plenty for everyone. Lack-I have to compete with others for attention. Abundant-I am in harmony with others. Lack-I have to prove myself to feel worthy. Abundant-I am worthy just as I am. Lack-If I don’t get better grades, I will never be successful. Abundant-I have unique talents and gifts and as I focus on those, they get stronger. Lack-I have to do what others expect of me or they won’t like me. Abundant-Other people like me for who I am. I am free to be myself. Lack-There aren’t enough jobs out there for me to pursue my life’s purpose. Abundant- I follow my passion and put my heart into what I want to do and the universe provides me with opportunities. Lack-I have to live in fear of others hurting me. Abundant-I am safe in this world and I am divinely guided and protected. Lack-I will not get into a good college because I’m not smart enough. Abundant-There are plenty of options for me. It’s a huge exciting world with lots to choose from. I can tell you from direct experience in working with teenagers and young adults as a former high school teacher and now coach and mentor, kids raised and educated with a lack mindset experience some form of fear, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, lack of motivation, confusion, anger, depression and more. When a teenager make decisions based on a lack mindset, what do you think they will choose? To pursue their dreams or to hold back? To be an inspiration or a follower? Love or fear? Expansion or constriction? I see parents worrying all the time about the decisions their kids are making or worrying that they might make poor decisions in the future such as doing drugs, hanging out with the wrong crowd, drinking and driving, or bullying others. However, the one thing that they have to understand is that decisions are made based on their beliefs—their mindset. Worrying is wasted energy and is another form of lack-based thoughts. If a teenager lives from a place of abundance, they see opportunities in their life; they understand that they matter and that others matter too. From this abundant mindset they are much less likely to engage in behaviors that will sabotage their dreams, goals, and purpose. They know they always have people to support them and to turn to in times of difficulty. They connect with a bright future and are excited about life. Now that is something that every one of us can get behind and support! Life is not always easy but there are always many options and solutions to every problem. When kids are raised and educated to come from this mindset they will seek the best of life and be an inspiration to others.