Benefits Of Brevity

One of the biggest mistakes people make when they argue with others is that they go on and on and on and on and on, etc., for much too long. Frequently the other person isn't really listening. He is just waiting for his turn to deliver his soliloquy.

The longer one speaks when there is a quarrel, the more likely it is that he will say things that would have been better not said. Reminding a person of his past mistakes and errors, is usually not conducive to resolving issues. Pointing out to a person how he reminds you of this or that difficult to get along with person, is usually not conducive to resolving issues. Putting a person down, speaking condescendingly, and adding lengthy stories and metaphors, is usually not conducive to resolving issues.

The short formula to keep in mind during a quarrel is: Be concise and focus on your outcome.

Omit unnecessary words. Let each word count. Each word should be part of what you need to say to reach your outcome.

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Rabbi Zelig Pliskin is the author of 25 books with his specialty in mastering happiness and other positive inner resources.

About the Author

Rabbi Zelig Pliskin is a noted psychologist and prolific author of 24 books, including Guard Your Tongue, Gateway to Happiness, Gateway to Self Knowledge, Love Your Neighbor, Growth Through Torah, The Power of Words, Consulting the Wise, and the recent Life is Now. Rabbi Pliskin lives in Jerusalem, and is the director of Aish HaTorah's Counseling Center and a senior lecturer at Aish's Essentials program and the Executive Learning Center. He was ordained at the Telshe Yeshiva in Ohio and holds a degree in Counseling Psychology.