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Do you think that disciplining children should include some sort of physical punishment? I grew up in a family with parents and grandparents rooted in old school southern morals. The saying that I heard a lot growing up was "spare the rod and spoil the child". I was a well behaved child for the most part but still received my fair share of 'whippings'. Whippings were not the only form of punishment used and I do not feel as though I was abused...I actually think I learned a lot from my upbringing. However, now that I am at the point of starting a family of my own, I am not quite sure how I feel about the subject.

So, what do you guys think? Is it acceptable to physically discipline your children in a reasonable manner or is this type of punishment completely archaic and off limits? If you do not discipline your children physically what are the best ways to correct poor behavior? Lets debate...

Do you think that disciplining children should include some sort of physical punishment? I grew up in a family with parents and grandparents rooted in old school southern morals. The saying that I heard a lot growing up was "spare the rod and spoil the child". I was a well behaved child for the most part but still received my fair share of 'whippings'. Whippings were not the only form of punishment used and I do not feel as though I was abused...I actually think I learned a lot from my upbringing. However, now that I am at the point of starting a family of my own, I am not quite sure how I feel about the subject.

So, what do you guys think? Is it acceptable to physically discipline your children in a reasonable manner or is this type of punishment completely archaic and off limits? If you do not discipline your children physically what are the best ways to correct poor behavior? Lets argue...

No, natural consequences are much better. If you use physical punishment on children, this makes you "the bad guy". From a kid's perspective, it is not a consequence of their actions, rather, it is you, the parent, being a narcissistic, overcontrolling boss that cannot negotiate and uses physical force instead.

Hitting by any other name is still hitting.

Everybody, adults and children alike, needs to see how actions relate to consequences. And "consequences" does not mean "punishment". It means "the natural result of an action". For example, the consequence for a child who pesters someone and is rude is that the child gets shunned by that person or asked to leave.

If you don't allow children to experience natural consequences, then again you are the "bad guy", because the child sees nothing really wrong about the act aside from the fact that you don't allow it.

If you think a 6-year-old can't sense that you are imposing something on them by authoritarian fiat, or if you think children don't need to know the real reason something is wrong, you are mistaken.

Obviously you can't allow a 2-year-old to drink a bottle of cough medicine to teach them about "natural consequences", but you certainly can allow children to express their opinions, and talk to them with the recognition that they are free to believe you are mistaken about something and are free to express their opinion just as an adult is. "Talking back" should NEVER be grounds for punishment. The freedom of speech and the freedom of thought are available to all ages.

Also, strangers in public places should stop being so anti-child. If a 7-year-old is rude or inappropriate to you, don't look to the kid's parents. Children are people like you and me. Just ask the kid, directly, to please stop doing whatever it is, in exactly the same way as you would ask an adult who did the same thing.

The kid will understand you just fine. There is no need to go through parents as a mediator.

Also, strangers in public places should stop being so anti-child. If a 7-year-old is rude or inappropriate to you, don't look to the kid's parents. Children are people like you and me. Just ask the kid, directly, to please stop doing whatever it is, in exactly the same way as you would ask an adult who did the same thing.

The kid will understand you just fine. There is no need to go through parents as a mediator.

Boy, I agree on that one. In a public place, talk to the child directly and tell them to stop what they are doing etc. They will get it from a stranger, from the parent they just push more and more.

Some probably worry about the parents not liking what you say to their child, but that is the way to get things corrected. Go to the source.

To the OP...the point in this part of the forum is not to argue. It's to debate. There's enough unpleasantness.

Whippings? No.
Beatings? No.
Controlled spankings. On occasion.

But I was a school teacher and principal, and we NEVER resorted to physical punishment. While an occasional controlled spanking may be called for by a parent, a wise and intelligent parent doesn't usually need to resort to even that.

To the OP...the point in this part of the forum is not to argue. It's to debate. There's enough unpleasantness.

Whippings? No.
Beatings? No.
Controlled spankings. On occasion.

But I was a school teacher and principal, and we NEVER resorted to physical punishment. While an occasional controlled spanking may be called for by a parent, a wise and intelligent parent doesn't usually need to resort to even that.

That would be my main concern, honestly. Some people, rightfully so, are really protective over any and everything when it comes to their children.

Reminds me of one day in the supermarket. You know how sometimes it turns out that you sort of meet up with the same people aisle after aisle. Well, this particular day there was a mother with a little girl sitting in the cart seat. Cute kid. As people would pass her they would say "hi there" or "hello", etc. And each time the little girl would yell, "Stranger danger! Stranger danger!" Finally I walked past the mother and girl, and the girl said, loudly, "Hi!". I said loudly, "Stranger danger! Stranger danger!" If the mother's looks could have killed, I would have died in the snack aisle.

Some kids do well with being put in a time-out. Some kids do not. My grandson is one of those. He definitely straightens up with a quick swat on the rear end.

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