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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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Sadly, with what passes for art these days, all of these would probably be right at home in a gallery of modern art. But since we're going for catchy titles for these, here goes:

1) Name that Slice2) Arnold Mutates on a Kelp Cupcake Diet3) Two Turds in a Meadow4) The Paleontologist's Dream Find5) Gambling at the Volcano Is Dicey6) An Ode to Smog by the Bluebird of Sadness7) Staypuff, the Magic Melting Dragon

Enchanted by 3 evil jellyfish (cake #4), and made to eat a poison cookie cake (#5) (damn chocolate allergy), Princess Albino Rhino (#7) slept for a hundred years in her glass plastic prison. Then one day, Prince Pinchy (#2), travelling incognito (#3) on his quest to find a magical Pokemon gym, took a detour to avoid the Barf Bird's song (#6). Seeing Princess Albino Rhino, he chanted a magic phrase (#1) since he couldn't get the container open to kiss her. She awoke, they fell in love and lived happily ever after, far from the Land of Overpriced Cakes.

To be clear, I thought that the green cupcake next to the lobster was supposed to be the pasty green gunk inside a lobster. Half of people swear that this is the best part of a lobster, whereas the other half, the ones who are not blind or insane, know that it is disgusting. If you've never cracked open a lobster yourself, the green gunk looks exactly like that icing does. I just looked it up, and according to wikipedia it is called tomalley and it fulfills the function of the liver and the pancreas. Green pancreatic goo - sounds delicious, no?

The first cake has several candles, but one of them is a '1' candle. The hand and arm on the edge of the picture could belong to a 1-year-old. Maybe he has 23 names, as all his relatives wanted to be honoured? Or they each wanted their name on a slice? I hope they whisked the cake away as soon as the picture was taken, as a 1-year-old can move fast when there's something you don't want him to touch.

I'm wondering if the "Velveeta" might be someone's sad, very confused attempt at a mortar board... you know, the ridiculous hat that you wear at graduation. And I do NOT want to know what bakery school they graduated from... Although I'm a bit jealous that one of their school colors contains polka dots.