How do I get my 9 yr old to stay in her own bed?

Lesley - posted on 01/10/2012
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My 9 yr old daughter slept through the night in her own bed since she was about 18months old. However, over a year ago, she started coming in to our room and waking me up, saying she was scared. Initially, I would walk her back to bed, soothe her, rub her back and get her back to sleep. The moment I leave her room, she wakes up panicked and races back into my room. This has beenm going on for well over a year. Every morning, I find her on the floor beside my bed. She says she's afraid something will happen to her or us int he night and she'll never see us again. We have tried everything we can think of. We positioned her bed so she can see ours and leave a hall light on and both doors open; we've tried night lights and white noise, and we've tried a reward system for staying in her room all night. She is now seeing a counsellor to try to figure out why and how we stop it but even that has been going on for over 6 months with minimal, and fleeting success. My primary concern is that she does not get a proper nights sleep and is exhausted and sore in the morning. The other effects are that I don't get a good night sleep and it's challenging for my husband and I to enjoy any intimacy, given that our door has to be open or she panics and if she wakes and finds it closed she practically goes into hysterics. Anyone have any advise or thoughts?

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Kyleigh - posted on 01/12/2012

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I remember growing up also being scared. It was over the "wizard of oz" smh...(dont ask lol) but I truly was, I had scary thoughts that someone was going to come and get me, we had a big house so our bedrooms were on the opposite end of my parents room, but my mom made it clear that if we are still scared after we fell asleep and we woke up in the middle of the night we can lay on her floor beside her bed, thats it! But really my mom would have to fall asleep next to me and my sis til we really fell asleep, that or read to us. :) Hope your situation gets better.

I used to be like that as a child. I think that's about when you realize death is permanent. Do you have any pets she could sleep with? Maybe that would be comforting for her. I had major anxiety as a child about death. I was obsessed with it. She needs some kind of security. I managed to grow out of it, but I remember vividly how terrified I was. I would have night terrors.

I know this sounds crazy but maybe a pet would help. She wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Something that's going to live a long time. Pet therapy is great. Just a suggestion. It may help......