To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

We just got home from Trey's first run of the paper route. I'm so excited that I can't even sleep! He did so well, and that makes me very happy. Why, you ask? Well, b/c Ashley is getting married tomorrow, and now I don't have to rush home from her wedding (drunk, I might add!) to come do the paper route! Sawweeeeeeetttt! He actually did it quite quickly (although he had a touch of help from me!). I just know he'll do great tomorrow, even though it will be the Sunday paper, which is about ten times bigger than the other days.

I feel like there was something else I wanted to tell you. I'll have to think about it and get back later. Must go try to sleep now before the kids realize that they aren't as tired as I am!

Have a great day! Talk to you soon!

oh, and PS-I hope it didn't sound like I was bitching last time about my Jamaican job situation. On the contrary, I am thrilled. I am so blessed to have such a hookup, and God truly found some stuff that is for me. I just can't wait till I get into some kind of routine, so I won't be so damn tired!

Well, maybe not so yummy...Lately, I feel like a teaspoon of peanut butter that's left at the bottom of the jar. There are tons of starving people just waiting to gobble me up, and the bread is free-flowing. I am spread so thin, you can hardly even see me when you open the bread (of course, that's not true, b/c I really seem to be GAINING weight, thus making me far from unseen!). My jar is almost empty, and it's not looking like there will be a new jar to refill for those sandwiches...Here I go!!!!!!

Here's the situation, for those of you new to my new life. I am currently working three jobs. When I wake up in the morning at 7:30 am, I greet two small children, one of which is four, and has a tendency to be a little, ummm, rambunctious. They leave anywhere from 1 to 3 on a regular day. I'm 'off' for a few hours then (b/c surely my kids disappear when they leave, right!) to do household chores and run errands. Lately, it seems like everyday I have somewhere I have to go. Today, in about 45 min., I have to take Taryn to the dr. and turn in my garage button to our old apt. The kids just left about ten minutes ago. At 7:45 I put the kids to bed, which sucks, b/c Taryn cries, and TJ refuses to stay in bed. Then, at 8, I start my stay-at-home job for an hour or two. If Trey's off, I will work b/t four to eight hours at this. I try to be in bed by 10:30-11, after seeing Trey for a few minutes (and sometimes practicing for the next conception!), and then wake up again at 2:30 am. I rush off to my next job, as a newspaper deliverer. I just started that this week, and it's actually quite fun. I went from taking three hours to get the papers out two nights ago, to an hour and a half last night! I'm so proud of me! I get home from that at about 6 am or so, and try to sleep until 7:30 when it starts all over again. Now tell me that isn't tons of fun!

I'm waiting as patiently as possible for next week. The little boy I watch is going back to school, and I'll just have his little sister. She's pretty easy, and easygoing. That will make things a LOT easier. When he's here, he seems to bring out all of the bad things in TJ I never knew existed. If I never hear someone tattle about nothing again, I won't be sad at all. Of course, I think I just dug my grave, b/c not two seconds ago, a woman who called me the other day about watching her three kids set it up for me to watch them for a couple of hours on Monday while she and her hubby go house hunting. If that works, I may be watching three little boys on top of the little girl I already watch and my two kids. Ummm, could someone tell me what the hell is wrong with me!!!???? I really was planning to just tell her I can't do it, but I guess I'll see how Monday goes before I make a final decision. She just seems so thrilled to have someone to watch them, I would feel bad saying no (especially when I could really use the money). I'm pretty sure that with all of this work, I will make the money I need to get by, and perhaps a little more. That will help since Trey is about to die b/c our tv died a few days before Christmas, and we are using a 19" one right now. You would think the man was blind or something. It's like it's not possible for him to have such a small tv for our actual tv. He spends all of his extra time looking online for good deals....So maybe if I get a little ahead, we can get him a new one sometime in the future. Not my top priority right now, though....

I do have to say that Trey has been my saving grace lately. He gladly (or at least acted that way) got up this morning and watched the kids for me when they got here so I could sleep a couple extra hours. I know he hates it, especially since he really doesn't like that little boy, but he did me such a BIG favor. He also helped out on Monday for a couple hours so I could do the work-at-home job and take a shower. He's riding with me tonight on the newspaper route to learn it, so he can do it for me on Saturday night, as I will be out of town at a wedding. It's 7 days a week/365 days a year, so you have to find someone to replace you if you can't do it. Originally, though, the idea was that we would split it and both do it, so that should help out a lot when he kicks in. Then we'll just BOTH be tired! Trey is such a good man, though, and he doesn't even know how much I appreciate even the little things he does.

Needless to say, if there are any of you still out there reading (I've noticed my numbers have dropped tremendously), I'm sorry if I'm not around quite as much as I was, and don't have as much interesting stuff to talk about. I am still trying diligently to keep up on your blogs as often as possible, and am about halfway successful. I do love reading all of the wonderful stuff you write!

Hopefully I'll be back soon. Until then, you have a great day, and I'll see you !

Christmas was simply loverly! We went to my mom's on Saturday, and opened presents and ate at Grandma's. On Sunday, we went to Trey's family's house, and ate and opened presents again, as well as went to church with Trey's parents (just communion, which was weird to me, no sermon). It was pretty cool, and I'm pretty pooped. I'm just gonna post some pics for you. Enjoy!

(TJ said he wanted some 'Christmas food' for breakfast Saturday. Like my attempt? The blob on the side is the icky bacon I made. I won't be buying that kind again!)

Hope you enjoyed that! I'll let the pictures do the talking, and save myself the trouble! We had a blast! Now it's time to recover and try to go back to living a normal life again!

Just look at me, I'm a mess! Here it is, two days before Christmas, and I haven't wrapped the first present. I still don't have anything for my mom. The house is trashed and I haven't the energy to unpack it. I have officially not had a shower since sometime Tuesday, and at the rate I'm going, it might not be till Sat. before I have another one (yes, very gross!)! I'm tired, and trying desperately to find means of income, w/o much luck. My husband seems to be at work even more nowadays, and the babies seem to be even more work, especially since there are now two more most of the time!

Oh, but I made some delicious white chocolate fudge tonight! It's got walnuts in it. I also made marshmallow peanut butter fudge, but I don't think it will be so good (b/c of the recipe, not me).

Taryn is saying "Ma-ma" now. Whenever she says it, she looks right at me, too. It's the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world! The only thing as close to that wonderful feeling is when TJ comes up to me and says, "You're my BEST friend!" I tell ya, it's so great!

I have to go now. I just found out that both of my bank accounts are all screwed up. Not cool. I'll talk to you later. Have a great day!

I'm sure I will not find time to regale you with all of the happenings of the last few days, and surely you will be thrilled to know that! I am looking forward to a long night's sleep somewhere in my future, although I'm thinking it's the far off future as opposed to the near future. Such is life!

Anyway, we moved into the new house this weekend. I am very excited, and even already things are starting to look like a home instead of a bunch of jumbled furniture and boxes! I think my livingroom looks SOOOO cozy, and I can't wait to start the actual decorating part. We have been given free reign as far as painting goes, and I fully plan to paint the kids' rooms. I'm thinking a light lavender for Taryn, and I'm not so sure about TJ's yet. Blue seems so cliche', but nothing else comes to mind. I'm SO worn out! Perhaps when I get a chance, I'll take some pics and show you what's up (of course, not till it's at least somewhat decent!).

I started my childcare today. I'm watching a little boy that's four, and his sister that's one. I'll be watching his sister all the time, but just him this week while school's out. TJ is having fun playing with another little boy, but I'm still adjusting to having to pull them off of the same toy all day and the fact that they want to wrestle till they kill each other! This promises to be a fun couple of weeks!

In case you missed it, Taryn is now six months old. She went to her six month well appt. the other day, and she measured in at 26 1/2" (97%), and 16.8 lbs. (85%). She also has an ear infection in both ears. Whoopee! The best part is that I get to go back next week to get the shots she so happily missed that time! Yeah, I'm jumping all over with excitement...Needless to say, my baby is a genius, at least in my eyes. So far, she has rolled over, sat up, crawled, and said "Da-da", "Ma-ma", and "Bub-bub" (my new nickname for TJ). She is pulling herself up now, and trying desperately to stand up on her own (which she has already done a few times, for a few seconds at a time, but it still counts...). The girl is so eager to walk that it terrifies me! That's all I need is a three year old and a seven month old that can walk! Oy vey! Anyway, my daughter is coming along swimmingly, and she is such an awesome and fun baby--with the cutest dimply smile on earth! Ahhh, life is grand...

Okay, I guess that's enough for now. I'll be back soon. Talk to you later! Have a great day!

HAPPY SIX MONTH BIRTHDAY, TARYN!!! That's right, Taryn turned six months old today! Sadly, we spent the day moving stuff into the new house, and she was in a pissy mood the whole time.

Speaking of moving, I'm dead tired right now. I promise I'm not gone, and will be back in full force in a few days, once we're all set up at the new place. We are getting a truck and doing the major move on Sat., so by Sun. we should be up and running (fingers crossed). When I get back, my plan is to tell you my ode to Taryn's six months, and what Christmas means to me. I also might throw in any fun details from the move this weekend!

Until then, you guys have a great week, and I'll see you soon! Wish us luck (like, that my bed doesn't get dropped and broken!)!!!!

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

Okay, I'm sure that everyone has their own reason as to why they have a blog. I know one friend does it so she can show it to her kids one day, and they can see all of the fun stuff they did while growing up. My guess is that "one friend" is a lot of you. I admit, I do want to be able to go back one day and show TJ and Taryn some of the things they did while little (first word, goofy hair, saying, "She gots two butts!", etc.), but that really isn't my motivation for writing this.

I'm sure there are some that would just like to let the world know what's up in their end of the world, and keep family and friends informed. Again, not me. I do enjoy getting the comments and knowing that people are reading (okay, I enjoy it IMMENSELY!), but that does not compel me to write every other day or so.

When you get right down to it, my reason for keeping this blog is because I have Alzheimer's. Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want. It's true. Okay, I don't have it yet, persay, but it's on its way. My great-grandma had it, my grandaddy has it, my mom better have it coming(or else she better come up with a really good excuse as to why she's so insane!), and I have little doubt that I'm in for a treat in not enough years from now. I ordered information about Alzheimer's once, and, in reading, found out that symptoms can start as early as 32 years old. Great! I'm 27 now, that only gives me 5 more years of mental health. Although that's probably pushing it, and little did the researchers know, undoubtedly symptoms can start as early as 20! I wonder, perhaps, if drug use increases symptoms and the likelihood of getting it earlier? In that case, my brother is SCREWED, and I'm a little unlucky myself!

Anyway, I'm beginning to notice that things are getting harder and harder to remember each day. I'll admit, I still have a touch of mommy brain from having Taryn, but that was a lot different than now, and before I was pregnant with her. I married Trey b/c he has a great brain. He is smart, and has one helluva memory. I am constantly asking him where I've seen actors before when I see them on movies or shows. He's really good with that. I, on the other hand, can watch a movie, and a week later, watch it again as if it were a brand-new movie that I've never seen. Sure, I can remember little bits here and there, and maybe the main idea of the movie, but overall I watch scenes as if they are all new and have never been seen by me before. I suppose that's good in that if I buy a movie, it's always new to me, and I'll never get tired of it! Everything in my brain is a half-memory. If I don't work hard to commit it to my long-term memory, it's all but lost forever. When I make an appointment, I have to make sure it's written down, and even still it's more than likely going to be forgotten. My bills pop up on my computer screen to remind me when to pay them. If I don't have something written down, I must repeat it to myself about three million times over until it starts to stick. I'm just so thrilled that I've never forgotten my children anywhere, but I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I never let them out of my sight!

I took a class once, while I was still working, on using memory strategies. While I was in the shower today, I thought about that, and I was proud of myself. We did this exercise where we had to list from one to twenty, and each one had a word that went with it. There were significant reasons for each word going with each number, but you had to get those in your head before you could really remember them. The teacher read out the words, and then afterwards, we went back and wrote as many as we could from memory. We went through it a few times until we fully understood it, and I was so glad to see that I knew almost all of them still! Let me show you what I remember...

Not bad, eh? I think I took this class in Feb. or March sometime. It's from some widely popular memory book or something, but I can't remember what it is. If you look at the words with the numbers, you might notice that they are related. For instance, the first one I remembered was 15. paycheck, b/c most people get paid on the first and fifteenth of each month. Anyway, I know that if something affects me enough, I'll remember it, but most stuff I don't. I would have to think for at least ten minutes just to tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday, and I usually eat one of three things! I really, really remember the movie The Notebook (even though I had to look up the name of it, b/c I couldn't for my life remember that!), b/c it was about Alzheimer's, and it really struck home for me. However, I can't remember the movie The Grudge b/c it was stupid and I can't stand Sarah Michelle Gellar. I just don't get it. Maybe I'm only saving room in my brain for really important stuff!

Anyway, that is my reason. I figure one day I might need a little reminder of who I am, and what has gone on in my life. I do pray that Blogger stays around forever, and that they keep all of my archives right where someone can find them to remind me that I once had a life of some sort, and that I was once in my right mind.

Here's how I feel today. Yeah, I'd like to call it dinky dink! We had a good day overall. Went to mom's group, and found out how to make some stuff that was really good, and that I plan to give as my Christmas gifts this year. It kinda sucks, b/c I want to make different stuff each year, but I did such a diggity-darn good job on my fudge a few years back, that every year at this time I get hounded to make it again! I suppose that's good, especially for someone who's not such a great cook, but...

Afterwards, we went to the new house and I put some more stuff there. The electricity guy came out and hooked up the power and gas. Found out the gas isn't working right, although I could definitely smell it when he turned it on! Gotta find out where the wiring or whatnot is messed up, b/c I needs me some heat! It's particularly cold in that house, too, as all of the floors are either wooden, laminate, or tile. Yeah, not great for heat absorbtion!

Well, that's all I've got for right now. Hope you're having a great day, and I'll see you soon!

I'm in a funk. I don't know why. I mean, sure, my life has its share of problems, but I'm not really all that worried about them. I mean, if anything, I should be happy and excited. I could much easier list the things I should be happy about as opposed to depressed. See, let me show you:

I'm moving next week! I paid the first month's rent yesterday, and now all I have to do is get my stuff in there!Taryn did the following this past week: crawled, sat up, started popping out a tooth, said her first word, and is now loving her bouncy seat. Trey was off and we had nice days together (which isn't always so). He even made dinner last night...fried pork chops, MMMMMMMM!

I'm sure the list could go on, and you can see why I should be happy. So why am I not? I mean, you would think the freakin' anti-depressants would be supplementing my joy, right? Oh, I don't get it.

Anyway, we're moving next week! Hooray! We went there last night and looked around in the dark with a flashlight. It's funny how you notice different stuff once you've paid for it. There were a few things I am going to ask them about today as far as fixing up the house. They've already promised to do a few things, and nothing has happened yet. I'm wondering if they realize that we are planning to move into the house next Wed.? The main thing I'm thinking about is that they are supposed to replace a pane of glass in the back door, and I don't want to have it missing when I move in. Too creepy, especially when Trey's off at work at night and the kids are in bed.

As I said, Taryn is using her bouncy seat now. TJ practically lived in it when he was her age, and now the saga continues.

That's about it. Must go and start packing some more boxes now. I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!

Those are my two favorite men in the whole wide world getting gas today after church. Church for us was an adventure today. We went to Gina and Wesley's church to see my neice, Julia, in a Christmas play. Wow, what a production it was! At my church, they do a little twenty minute thing where the kids get to sing some Christmas songs, and they tell a little story. Not here, no-siree-Bob! Gina informed me that they have been practicing for this since AUGUST! Big time stuff.

Anyway, about the actual play...They had snowblowers, and blew in fake snow, while the kids all came in down the aisles in elaborate costumes. Julia rode in on a sleigh, and she, along with what I assume to be the other four-year-old girls, did a little dance while dressed in so cute white dresses. Highly entertaining! There were other great moments, too. Like, when they turned out the lights and the GIANT choir of kids did sign language stuff to a song they were singing...with white gloves on...get this...in BLACK LIGHT! Oh yeah! TJ was fascinated! So was I. Taryn danced the whole time, and my favorite part was the song (some normal Christmas song changed up) that said, "Baa, baa. Mo-ooooo! Hee-haw!" You had to be there, b/c believe me, it was too funny! I laughed, I cried, my kids both slept. (It was long, and neither of them had enough sleep last night) It was nice. I'm glad we went.

Oh, and we had our Sunday School Christmas party last night. Nothing too exciting to tell, except that TJ was very well behaved, as was Taryn. Oh, and I ran the table at pool when I went in to play with the boys. Okay, so it wasn't exactly like that, but they were impressed at my apparent skill at the game, I'm sure (even though my team managed to lose every single time I played!). I think what may have impressed them more was how I could take care of Taryn and hold her and keep her happy, all while playing a game of pool, while also telling TJ what to do. I hope I didn't upset anyone, b/c I did hear a girl say that that was the man room, and the women don't go in there. Ummm, oops! I'm sorry, but was just totally womaned out! I'm really not into enough girly stuff, so it's all foreign to me when people talk about it. Something that was exciting, though, was that I got a cool coffee cup and coffee from my secret pal, Kim, and Dawn made us the most awesome vases that looked like etched glass or something--VERY cool!

Well, my child is still sick. She's getting worse. TJ seems to be well on his way to being fine, but Taryn seems to be going the other way. I'm hoping she will seem better tomorrow. If not, I'm going to take her to the doctor. I hate this time of year, and all of the possibilities of stuff to catch. I wouldn't care so much if it were me I was worrying about, but I hate having to worry about my tiny babies, and the fear that I could screw up big-time, and mess them up for life, or worse, lose them for life. Having children is so scary sometimes!

Okay, I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon! Did you see those hot guys up there? I'm so lucky!

Thank you to all of you sending good thoughts my way! It is b/c of your help that I got a job today! As of next Wednesday, I begin training for my new night job, that of a security officer at Baptist Hospital. Yippee! Don't be surprised if I'm not around quite as much once I begin, b/c I will be working 8 hours at night, then coming home and taking care of the kids all day. It's going to be a tough routine to get used to, and I guess I'll have to cut a few things here and there. I'm so happy that I'll be able to make some money again and we can get back on our feet! Can you imagine me as a security officer? It's going to be so funny! Maybe I'll take a pic of myself in my uniform and show you...or maybe not...

You should be jealous of me. Why, you ask? Well, I'm going to show you some pics of a park that I have unlimited access to, which I am moving even closer to in two weeks, that I took the kids to today and yesterday. It is the most beautiful park I've ever been to, and it's the biggety-BOMB! Please click on the pic below to see all of them, and of course, adorable pics of my babies, who are the most perfect brother and sister ever!I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you soon!

Okay, how is it that you can ruin a perfectly good day by going shopping for clothes for yourself? Sure, so you're wondering now if I did. Well, no. I'm broke. However, I was thinking about it today. Let me start from the start (don't worry, it's short and idiotic):

Okay, so I told TJ that we could go to the playground today b/c we've been cooped up all week sick, and we needed to get out and get some fresh air and move. He was overjoyed. I went to get dressed, and I put on my favorite pair of Old Navy jeans and a t-shirt. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom. I felt pretty good, and thought I didn't look half bad. Yeah, so I'm overweight, but you know what, I'm learning to live with it and accept it. Now, I don't find myself so grotesque! So anyway, then I put on my favorite Old Navy hoody sweatshirt, and looked again. I was afraid it wasn't going to fit anymore, but it looked pretty damn good! I was quite happy. I thought, "Man, I wish I had more clothes that made me feel good like this." (I happen to think the jeans make my butt look nicer than most pants I own) So, I thought that maybe I would go shopping if I ever get some money, and buy some more. Then I got depressed, just like that. I had a flashback to every time I ever go shopping, and how upset I get as I try on clothes that I'm sure are going to look great on me while I'm picking them, then look HORRIBLE on. I am lacking a decent wardrobe. I can blame it on having a baby, and outgrowing stuff, and lack of money. Yes, that is most of it. However, if I had money, I feel like I probably would still have the same problem. I am so shell-shocked at having to look bad in dressing room mirrors, that I get miserable just at the thought of buying new clothes. Do you know where most of my clothes come from? My mom. She buys stuff for me on clearances and at great bargains, and I love her for it. However, she is never concerned about whether or not my butt will look good, or if it will fit just right, just about the deal and if it's my size. So, I end up looking like my clothes were a bargain, and for a reason. Why can't I just learn to accept who I am, and move on? Just be happy I'm able to move and, oh, I dunno, lift my arms above my head and bend my knees or something! What's funny is that I know most of my friends are not supermodels, either, yet I always think they look so good, and I'm jealous of how great they look and the fact that they can find clothes that actually fit them. I would venture to guess that I'm not a whole lot bigger than most of them, but it sure feels like it.

Well, anyway, I don't know where that came from, but it's there now, and I have no plans on deleting it (I mean, it did take a few minutes of typing and a little thought, you know!).

Okay, if you read this before 10 am (Eastern time) tomorrow, I have an interview for a job I would really like to get. Please pray for me that it works out. I think maybe God wants me to get this job. I hope. Anyway, if it works out, I'll let you know all about it. If not, then screw you! Okay, just kidding. If not, then, ummm, well, I dunno. So, let's just make sure I get it, and then we know what will happen, okay.

Oh, and Taryn is sitting herself up now. Today, I looked over at her, and she had herself propped in a sitting (well, almost) position, and was holding herself up with her hands. I swear, she scares me....but I guess in a good way! I love that girl!

One more thing...while you're praying (even if it's after 10 am), could you also pray for a little boy named Zachary? He's a baby in TX, and he's about three days old now. He's got a hole in his lung and double pneumonia, and they don't know if he'll make it or not. He's distantly related to a good friend of mine, and she really would appreciate it if anyone could offer any good thoughts they could. He needs all the help he can get. Thanks.

Alrighty then. I guess that's all for my random, prayer-request day! I hope you're having a great day yourself, and I'll see you soon!

Okay, no news yet, but I need you to do me a BIG favor, so maybe I can have some news. I am in the search for a job right now that will work around Trey's work schedule, so I will not be forced to send my children to daycare, and become a drone worker like I once was, and totally miserable and sad. I went on the search today, as well as searching endlessly on the internet for the last, well, very long time, and plan to go pick up an application they didn't have today tomorrow morning. So, hopefully that will all lead me to a job. That would be wonderful, as then I could pay my phone, car, electricity, and doctor bills, as well as my school loans.

Oh, so the BIG favor is this: Could you please, PLEASE, PLEASE pray for me that I get one, and super-soon? I have put it into God's hands, but I have to admit that I'm still a bit on the worried side about the whole issue. Of course it would be Christmas time, which would make it worse, but still. I'll try not to worry anymore, and just let it come, and you try to pray that it happens, please. I thank you in advance, and I owe you bigtime!

Thanks, and have a great day! I'll see you soon!

PS-Wait! I do have to tell you this, though. Okay, I know it means nothing, really, but it did freak me out nonetheless. Today, Taryn was crawling around on the floor and playing before bed. I was on the couch, and I looked over to see what she was up to, and she was pulling herself up on her bouncy chair, and just stood there holding herself up in a standing position for about a minute! WOW! I mean, sure, I don't expect her to be walking by next week or anything, but still, she pulled herself up to standing all by herself, and at just 5 1/2 months! I'm scared. Sure, she's not walking yet, but it doesn't look like she has any intentions of taking her time, either! Yeah, pray for me there, too! Can you imagine wild TJ AND Taryn on the move!? Be scared, be very, very scared!