Special Containment Procedures: Individuals assigned to SCP-2641 are to undergo comprehensive physical examinations weekly to rule out medical conditions or diseases that may reduce the efficacy of their immune systems.

Researchers and biochemical engineers assigned to SCP-2641 for the purpose of harvesting and refining immature spores must be fit-tested with N-95 N-96 respirator masks monthly or as needed in the opinion of containment specialists, and should not have facial hair that compromises a proper seal. Respirator masks and other equipment must be donned and doffed according to the established sequential protocols of Foundation personal protective equipment.

Collected samples must be handled with pneumatically-sealed glove boxes and kept in temperatures lower than 7°C to discourage epidemiological purchase in the event of an accidental containment breach.

Description: SCP-2641 is an anomalous oomycete or water mold (Cyclospora solanacea Bakerifa) that colonizes a specific varietal of New England potatoes (Solanum Bakerifum). Potatoes that are known to house colonies of SCP-2641 are designated SCP-2641-1. Both are indigenous to a lone, 5m x 9m patch of farmland in Upperville, Virginia, USA, itself designated SCP-2641-2. The potatoes therein are themselves not discernibly anomalous. The life cycle and metabolism of SCP-2641 are comparable to other fungi which are dependent upon vegetal root systems, the details of which are beyond the scope of this article.

Premature removal of Solanum Bakerifum crops from the soil can result in the aerosolization of immature spores that have yet to fully adhere to the available taproots. 70% of individuals who inhale these spores develop symptoms. The affected individual displays an extreme propensity to discuss topics of relative non-interest to the neglect of necessary biological functioning, such as eating and sleeping. Thus, the anomaly is so named the "small-talk spore" in colloquial referencing.

Infection by SCP-2641 in healthy individuals is relatively benign and self-limiting as the nested spores are unable to successfully establish a biofilm whereby they may germinate and mature. SCP-2641 is eventually rid by the healthy body's native cellular defenses in a vast majority of cases, with supplemental treatment curing the rest. The otherwise-healthy infectee is not considered contagious, given that the individual has undergone an aseptic treatment after contact with SCP-2641, SCP-2641-1, or SCP-2641-2. However, moderate isolation is recommended for the duration of SCP-2641 communicable period (7 days).

It has been recently determined that the degree to which symptoms present is highly dependent upon the competency of the inoculated individual's immune system. This was not initially known of SCP-2641, as first-line Foundation personnel typically must be of a minimum standardized health to qualify for employment. More severe symptoms will develop if an individual's immune system is sufficiently surmountable as a result of concurrent infection, chronic steroid usage, or autoimmune diseases such as lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, or HIV/AIDS. Further details can be accessed in the relevant medical literature.

Additionally, it has been observed on several occasions that SCP-2641 has the potential to remain in a state of subclinical dormancy, only becoming exacerbated in times of illness or great stress. Immunocompromised individuals may thus appear to resolve all initial symptoms yet still be at a high risk for sudden colonization and mortality. The immunocompromosed individual is to be considered contagious for approximately 7 days post initial inoculation, and permanently so in the event of systemic signs.

The special containment procedures have been updated and the new data prioritized fittingly.

Until up-to-date research disclosed the potentially fatal course of the contagion, harvested immature spores of SCP-2641 were routinely used by Foundation field agents who had passed inoculation challenges to ensure sudden and effective escape from compromising situations. The aerosolized spores were stored in capsule-like ammunitions, which fit into handheld electronic devices similar to an electronic cigarette. When needed, the device would expel the spores in a vapor, simulating the smoking of tobacco.

The Foundation has discontinued the routine use of SCP-2641 in such situations, although the ammunition and devices are still produced and made available in the case that circumstances ethically permit their use. The application of this technology remains particularly useful for high-profile public figures whose medical histories and current immune system health are known, and whose speech may be censored for purposes of information containment.

The special containment procedures have been shortened accordingly. For more information, contact RAISA for field protocols and standards.

Foundation perusal of financial records and sales invoices revealed that the individual who owned SCP-2641-2 sold crops to members of unorganized markets as well as major distribution companies. Instances of SCP-2641-1 were likely among the crops. The extent of public exposure to SCP-2641 is unknown. However, observational epidemiological studies are currently being designed to address this issue.

Potatoes distributed by the major company have been recalled nation wide due to a fabricated concern for Botulinum toxin.

<Field agent Hutch McKenzie and Foundation agricultural botanist Jennifer Cofield stand just outside the borders of SCP-2641-2. They comprise a small investigatory unit sent to the coordinates after the Foundation was implored by the Federal Bureau of Investigation to follow-up on their Unusual Incidents Unit, which had become uncharacteristically MIA after being dispatched in response to the discovery of two fully-intact nervous systems found splayed across SCP-2641-2. The agents have protective equipment that streams audio and video to an off-site Command.>

McKenzie: Okay, thank God they've already removed the leftovers.

Cofield: I'm surprised; the local force stationed here has been remarkably unhelpful so far. They seem to be more interested in the weather. Even the UIU agents seem rattled.

Command: Probably just nerves.

McKenzie: Ha! Hey Command, you aren't supposed to be cracking jokes on the record. In fact, I'm fairly certain you are not occupationally allowed to have a sense of humor.

Command: That was an accidental pun.

McKenzie: You kill me.

Cofield: Let's hope that doesn't turn out to be one too.

Command: You're a paranoid one, Cofield, but I like it. This patch has something to do with the remains found, though we are not sure how. What has been established is that proximity to the site is not fatal and that whatever happened to the poor farmers seems so far to be an isolated incident.

Command: Standard precautions, McKenzie. The picture we've gotten so far is moderately indicative of a biohazard, though there are some obvious outlying data. You are to help Ms. Cofield navigate the patch's substrate for anything unusual, as well as respond fittingly in the event of danger.

McKenzie: Affirmative. You heard the boss, let's dig in some dirt.

<The two trek into the patch.>

Cofield: The soil is freshly tilled, I'd say no longer than a day ago.

Cofield: These are potato plants. Nothing unusual about the stalks or greens. I can see a few potatoes poking out of some soil, that must be from the police and other agents as I see several bootprints around them.

McKenzie: Just some good ol' new spuds, Command.

Cofield: I'm going to dig up more crops and see.

<Both begin uprooting potatoes. McKenzie pulls one out of the ground and meets resistance. He continues to pull, and when the crop finally gives, several others come with it. The video feed catches thin, filamentous appendages connecting the crops, as if in a web.>

Cofield: It looks to be a fungus. It has spread along the root system and is engulfing the potatoes.

McKenzie: It's…sticky.

Command: Ms. Cofield, is there anything unusual about the crops or fungus?

McKenzie: Yeah, they are sticky. Are you even listening to me?

Command: I am hearing you but not listening really, no. I am interested in what Ms. Cofield thinks of them.

Cofield: Starches don't usually form on the exterior of the potatoes and their root systems, so that is odd. I've never seen a fungus capable of this much tensile strength either. I'm going to open a potato up to see the extent of this. McKenzie, can I use your knife?

<McKenzie doesn't respond and is studying the potatoes he just pulled from the ground. Cofield scoffs and takes the knife strapped to the outside of his protective gear. She cuts open an affected potato.>

Cofield: Oh wow. Good Lord. This is completely overrun with the fungus. Jeez it is putrid. I gotta say, this is starting to get fishy, another pun unintended…this is pretty unusual for agricultural fungi.

Command: Ok, collect a few and place it in the basket you have there. Okay, good. Now focus your eyesight on the potatoes and we'll capture a screenshot on our end. Okay, looks good, thank you. Please continue.

00:10:02

McKenzie: This reminds me of camp as a boy. Camp Douglas, I think. It was so hot there, you couldn't breathe without sweating, it was all we could do to just be out there. The counselors, oh that one in particular, what was that guy's name? I think it was Joey. His name was either Joey or Johnny…something with a J. He would sit underneath an umbrella chair and wave a makeshift fan made of newspaper in his face while we all crawled on the ground in search of shade or water. He was such a punk, probably 15 or so if the amount of acne on that face was any indication. People thought he was sweet on another counselor, Jamie, but she was absolutely out of his league, and I told him. I told him that one time, to his pimply face. I would have felt bad for the guy but he was just such an a—

Command: McKenzie! God that is enough what is your issue, son?

<McKenzie shifts his weight, puts a fist against his hip, and looks off into the farm's pastures.>

McKenzie: There is something about this open space and this vibe of simple living, isn't there? It's like the more complex the world gets, the more desire I have for simplicity. I mean how would it be like to just walk for 12 hours one day? Huh? Just like early humans; they didn't have much to do but just walk. Not exerting yourself amazingly or anything, just casually walking, but for like…10-12 hours a day. What would that be like…

Command: McKenzie, shut the shit up and get back to your job. Now.

Cofield: One time I walked 3 hours straight, it was with my dog. You know that feeling you get when you are on a treadmill or something for a while and you get off but it feels like you are still moving? Like staying still is such a trippy feeling, just from walking! It's the endorphins I think, what we were meant to be doing.

McKenzie: I had a good dog once, Sparks. Sir Sparky, we would call him, he was training to be a service dog but he never could pass the exams because he would jump on people that gave him attention. He loved the attention, and would lick you to death before showing even one fang, and he was real good at obedience, just couldn't keep from his excitement! He was a mutt, we don't know what was in him except for a lot of German Shepherd.

Cofield: And I'm not sure because I just don't have the time these days, or yet really, maybe one day if I can retire, but if we restricted our exercising to just walking, and got enough of it to tone our bodies, I'm sure it would be the best looking body. The weights, the gym, the muscle targeting; that's all great, but I think it disproportions the natural physique of the body. The treadmill, the elliptical, these are unnatural machines; they make me feel like a gerbil on a wheel. Walking, that is the perfect exercise. If you walked enough, you would have not just a perfectly flat stomach, but the abs would be perfectly symmetrical…you ever see those abs that are well-developed but look like a crooked smile? I dunno, I kinda feel bad for those people despite their enviable health. It's like…meh…all that for that?…

McKenzie: But that was our third dog really. Or was it our second? I can't really remember too well on account of me just getting started with my op training. Man I always wanted to do police dog training. Did you know you get to take them home and they live with you? They have to, the bond is the core of the effectiveness. Man, how cool would that be? Does the Foundation utilize dogs? They should, dammit. Hey Command, do you guys use dogs?

Command: What the fuck is the matter with you two?

Cofield: Hey Command, why do you make these guys shave for those masks when the suits we wear have these giant head hoods anyway? I didn't know it until I saw McKenzie here, but taking away their facial hair is like taking away our makeup…it's a world of difference and I don't particularly like it. No offense, McKenzie. I mean, what if I told you that I could offer you a great job in one of the most prestigious organizations on the planet but you'd have to shave your eyebrows regularly? I mean c'mon guys, it's like us ladies walking around with no bras or something, let them have that layer of dignity!

Command: McKenzie, Cofield, get the hell out of there. (To someone in the same room) It's the fungus, it's gotta be. Go get them back for Christ's sake.

<The two do not acknowledge Command and begin to separate, engrossed in self-contained tangential discussions. McKenzie eventually makes his way back to the barn and homestead, where he joins the local police force in conversation. They all proceed into the house to sit in rocking chairs on the front porch and discuss their ideal home cooking.>

<Cofield decides to leisurely walk for as long as she can with the time remaining in the day, and heads off in the direction of other crop fields on the property. In the process, she steps on a snake in tall grass, and is bitten on the leg. Cofield displays no sense of distress or concern for the injury and continues walking.>

<McKenzie and Cofiled along with the members of the local police force and the UIU agents were recovered by a Standard Recovery Cell. They were taken to a Level-1 contagion facility where empiric treatments began in an attempt to cure the suspected infection, as well as Cofield's snake bite wound. All made complete recoveries and appropriate teams were established for additional research.>

The below message is the latest indication informing Foundation epidemiologists to the penetrance of SCP-2641 into private sectors. Aside from marked confusion within Site-38, no complications developed as a result of the message. The affected employee has been treated with no adverse effects. The object class of SCP-2641 is currently being reviewed.

**ATTENTION**

The following is a Site-38 emergency dictation from L5 Administration.

Please distribute the message below to the necessary personnel in a timely fashion.

The rain is really coming down out there now that’s good because my plants have been just dying of thirst. I don’t think it was supposed to rain at all today, supposed to be later this week I know. I have to help my grandmother get her pets neutered, they have animals all over town. We live a bit off of Barne Road, they have a good amount of space. I ended up with 12 cats, 4 are feral; just couldn’t turn them away, they mostly fend for themselves. That’s the difference between cats and dogs; cats don’t really need you to survive. But the dogs they’ll just run around and around and they go nuts with fireworks. Bimby will bite you if she hears one and you try to catch her, gets so upset. Little mixed one I don’t have any medium sized ones just either big ones or small ones. Real short legs, real long body, cute as all-get-out. Didn’t last a week outside, had to carry her in and now it's to the bed every night, just howled all night, up all night. Nothin' unusual about that but. Needs more socialization anyways.