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Friday, May 31, 2013

A week from today I will be marrying the best man there is. Say whattt??

I can't believe that time has gone this fast and we are already here. And since we have 7 days pretty much everything is done. Or at this point it has to be.

I unfortunately, was hit with the stomach flu on Wednesday and let me just tell you, that stuff is no joke. I was in bed/on the couch all day Wednesday and half the day yesterday. Which translates to that two day wedding to-do list, not done.

And did I mention everything needs to be dropped off tomorrow to our venue? Yes, everything.

I could have panicked, stressed (ok, maybe I did a tiny bit) But this flu takes so much out of you, there just wasn't energy.It came down to me accepting what was, what is. And realizing the bigger picture of what June 7th means.

So those programs I designed? Probably won't get finished and our guests won't get to see the beauties.

And the menus? Go from one for every person to two at every table.

A few people not coming after the final count should of signaled a rearrange of tables and table numbers. But not anymore. Staying as is and I will tell the coordinator next week about the change. Sneaky I know.

But the most important thing I was able to get done on our wedding to-do list? The marriage license.

So pretty much I can marry this man now. And even if I'm running down the aisle in shorts and sneakers (Yes, a wedding nightmare folks) It will be ok.

I might get a few strange looks if that happens. But at the end of the day this man will be my husband. I will be his wife. No programs, menus or maybe even a wedding dress needed.

Now, what I do need to cross off the list...my Hawaii packing...What does one wear to a luau?

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Hi all!!

Just signed up for this huge Blogger Event by Marquis at Simply Clarke! She's celebrating her birthday with a PayPal cash prize...pause for reaction. And since June will now always be a special month for me (woop anniversary!), I couldn't wait to sign up. And you can to!

Here's the 411...

I am currently looking for bloggers to participate my HUGE Birthday Bash Paypal Cash giveaway! The giveaway will go live at the beginning of June (date to be confirmed). You don't want to miss out on this one!

Read below for details

PRIZE: Amount of cash not confirmed yet - depending on how many sign up

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Today, I had every intention of writing a very different blog post. I sat down at my fiance's computer ready to complain about how my computer was broken and it had everything on it for the wedding. I wanted to complain about my phone not holding charge so basically it sucks.

But then, I saw this when I opened up iTunes.

This song started it's viral journey back in December when Zach Sobiech penned this song as his 'goodbye' to his family and friends and posted it on YouTube. It has once again gone viral in the past few days as a symbol of the true strength of one boy with a message to all of us.

Zach died on May 20, 2013 from osteosarcoma after a long fight with the cancer but not before he lived his life to the fullest everyday.

"My closure is being able to get my feelings into these songs so they
can have something to remember me by or lean on when I'm gone," Zach
explains in the SoulPancake video. "I want to be remembered as a kid who
went down fighting, and didn't really lose."

"Clouds" grabbed the attention of SoulPancake, a YouTube channel that produces documentaries of incredible life stories. They made a documentary titled, "My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech"to document how Zach was living out his terminal illness.

Yesterday, I had seen the video posted a couple of times of Zach's documentary, but I had to get ready for work and didn't have the time to watch it. When I came home, Brian asked if I watched it and he told me how much it touched him.

I had woken up today forgetting all about it until I turned on his computer and listened to the song. It filled my eyes with tears already and I was instantly clicking to find Zach's documentary to watch.

I cried from beginning to end. This was a young kid met with his untimely fate way too early but he accepted it and still lived his life. There was no turning back for him and he was determined not go down without swinging. Without living his life the way he wanted his last day.

The Children's Cancer site issued a message on Zach's death: "Cancer may have
taken Zach too soon, but he leaves a lasting legacy that many of us will
never achieve. His message of love and hope delivered through
infectious lyrics and simple tunes have imprinted on the minds and
hearts of millions around the world."

Sometimes you just need a swift kick to put things into perspective. To knock you out of your pity party. And this was just that. Live life everyday. On your terms.You never know when you won't be able to.

**You can purchase Zach's album on iTunes here. Proceeds from the sale of the song and YouTube views
are being donated to the Zach Sobiech Osteosarcoma Fund through the
Children's Cancer Research Fund. More than $232,000 has been raised to
date.**

Saturday, May 11, 2013

It never hurts less when people ask you what your plans are for mother's day and you have to respond, "My mother passed away." And then the conversation becomes a little weird.

But I know I have healed when the conversations can turn positive again and when I don't have to hide out crying all day. I know even though I can't see my mother's resting place, she's in my heart.

And I still buy my mom a gift. Even if she isn't here, I purchase a donation to the American Cancer Society for the money that would have been spent on her. She loved this charity in honor of my grandmother. So I always like to do that for her.

Also, every year I look back on my posts from the previous year. This is why I love blogging. I can see how I felt last year and how I have grown. And I want to share with you my post from last year.

The past few weeks the emails, commercials and marketing tools for Mother's Day have been on and on.

Four years later and it isn't any easier to hear or see, "Shower your mom with love." Or "Make sure to let your mom know how much she means to you this Mother's day." Delete, mute, turn the corner.

I wouldn't say I'm bitter but I also wouldn't say I'm not. In a way I am bitter. Bitter that showering my mom with love means leaving flowers on her grave. Bitter that I can't call my mom on the phone or send her the flowers to show her how much she means to me. I just have to whisper it into the wind.

But I'm also not bitter of the fact that I still have amazing other women in my life. Look at these women I get to send mother's day cards to. Women who are there for me and support me.

And let's not forget I get to be a cat mommy to this cutie. Yes, I said that.

And if you are asking what you can do for someone that celebrates mother's day without a Mom or Father's DAy without a day...the answer is just be there. Be there for them whether it's a phone call, card or a quick text just to make them smile about something. Or picking up the phone when they call because you know they might be having a rough day.

It's the little things that mean the most.

And I know someday I will have children of my own to celebrate this special day with where I will be able to tell them all about their wonderful grandma in Heaven.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

You never when they are going to hit.

That's the thing about grief. It's a sneaky bitch. You think you might be ok and moving forward and then something reminds you that you aren't quite there yet. And how it's a constant journey that you are on for the rest of your life.

Those Moments.

When it's a feeling you get. Grief overwhelms you. You miss that person so much at that very moment.

Sometimes you can explain it. It might be triggered by a piece of jewelry or a specific place.

But there are times when it just hits you. You wake up missing that person as if you just lost them. As if your heart is freshly broken.

Or when with no warning, you just start the sobs and the ache in your heart is overwhelming.

It happened to me the other day. Over a Tigger cup of my mom's. A cup I have been using since she died so I see it at least once a week. But something about that day, that time, triggered something in me.

I couldn't control it and I didn't expect it. Lifting that cup out of the cabinet brought a wave of emotions that gripped my inner soul. I longed for my mom. I longed to talk to my mom at that very moment. But I couldn't.

That's the thing about these moments. You never know when they are going to happen. And they will always be there.

I'm sure there will be many more as I go through the next 2 months, 2 years, 20 years. Grief is never something you get over. It's always with you. Especially on the most important moments.

Monday, May 6, 2013

What do I do? (Besides my job)

I am a stay at home MILF who loves shopping for shoes and lays by the pool all day. I have new boobs that I love and I workout every morning to keep this awesome figure. I blog all day and do fun crafts to maintain my gorgeous home.

I WISH.

My bad, I was living in the future for a second. Or in my dreams.

So what do I ACTUALLY do?

I blog from time to time when the occasion strikes. This also causes me to explain blogging to quite a few people . It also gets me judged on the inside for the ones that do not understand why I write about my life for all to see. Long story short...Writing is My Therapy.

I craft. Lately, it has been a little wedding focused. But I also try to make up some treats for my nearest and dearest.

I wedding plan like a fiend. Or at least for another month when I finally say, "I DO!"

I love...this guy.

And this kitty.

I laugh at myself and do not take life too seriously. Life can have a way of bringing you down and sometimes you just need to remember...no one gets out of alive.

I live my life. I don't make apologies or excuses. I do what's best for me (and my soon to be hubby) And I don't make excuses or apologies.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Sometimes life is pretty rough. Sometimes it can try to tear you down. I know it's taken a few hits with me. And it will continue to try my patience and strength. But I can't let it get the best of me. And I won't.

This is my absolute favorite quote. You probably have seen it multiple times around the blog. And it's a favorite for me to talk about for Blog Everyday in May.

I love it because there are days when I am "hating life." But that's exactly where I don't want to be. So instead, I have my pity party for a minute then get myself together and put on that smile and remember everything truly great in my life.

Those moments when the ache in my heart from missing my Mom gets me down, I always try to reflect that even though she's not here, she gave me the strength and independence to get me to where I am today. And I have to remember that where I am is not too shabby.

So basically, life sucks sometimes.

But what's a better day than a day you choose to smile in spite of the rain? And pretty much say," Eff you. I'm smiling today. Because I can."

And these, my friends, are just a few of the thousand reasons I smile everyday.

My Prince.

Our little baby.

Family.

Family.

The best friends.

Friends are family.

Best friends near & far.

And of course, this little space I have found here with some of the best people. Can't wait to see where it all goes.

Friday, May 3, 2013

And continuing along with Day 3 of Blog Everyday in May...What makes you uncomfortable.

1. Being the center of attention make me highly uncomfortable. Hate it. Dread it. Everyone looking at me...just me, gives me the heeby jeebies. I try to find the nearest corner or nearest distraction ASAP. This should go well on my wedding day.

Awkward right here. Coming into my bridal shower..."Ok. ok. Everybody stop looking at me." As I ran to my seat.

2. Small talk makes me uncomfortable. Maybe I wasn't properly trained on how to talk but after the initial hellos, how are yous...all I can think of is "What do I say next? What should we talk about?" Then I think of the silence and I start to look like this.

"Ummm."

3. Other people's bad jokes/uncomfortable comments. I feel bad for them. Then they feel awkward then I feel awkward. And look like this.

"oh. So bad. Idk what to do."

3. Talking on the phone. Call me crazy but I have never liked calling anyone on the phone. Especially strangers. There is just something about it I really don't like. Granted, I have to do it more frequently with wedding vendors but 8 times out of 10 I will try to email them first. True story.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Today I am supposed to educate the great people of blog land. As part of the May Blog Everyday topic of "Educate us about something you know a lot about."

And this my dear friends, is what I know a lot about and need to educate everyone on.

Friends.

Not the best kind of people you hang out with in real life.

The TV show Friends. Only the best show ever made.

Some common Friends sayings you will need to know to be in the "In Crowd" with Friends

Now let me introduce you to my "Friends"

This is Ross

He's not a doctor, just has a PhD. In dinosaurs. Has been divorced 3 times. And you must say, "Three Divorces!" in a squeaky high voice

This is Monica. Ross' sister. Former chubby girl. Crazy nut clean freak. Occasionally puts turkeys on her head to cheer people up. She talks at high decibels.

This is Rachel. Her and Monica are BFFs. Former spoiled girl. Loves Ross/Hates Ross. Has a kid with Ross (Emma). Has the best hairstyles.

This is Phoebe. Everyone loves Phoebe. You want Phoebe in your group of friends for the comedy. You never know what will come out of her mouth.

This is Chandler. Chandler Bing. He goes from scary skinny, skinny, chubster Mcgee, chubby, decent size..throughout the years. Maybe it has something to do with Matthew Perry's alcohol and drug issues..hmmm. We will never know. Chandler is always ready with a sarcastic comment or joke. And he has THE BEST dance moves.

And this is Joey. It's kind of like, "Duh." How You doin? He likes the ladiesssss. *Wink, Wink*