Sunday, 12 September 2010

The Cravings of the Heart

The other day while waiting at the doctor's I came across a pretty interesting article while flipping through the pages of a magazine.
The article was about women, or for that matter of fact human beings in general, tending to be in love with more than one person at the same time.According to studies conducted by researchers of different Universities, the human mind and heart especially are programmed in such a way that they posses an innate search for things that are missing in their current relationship. These missing qualities can vary tremendously, ranging from trust, to happiness, to understanding, to just having someone who enjoys your kind of music. Having found the missing parts in someone else automatically instigates us to feel a certain bond towards that person, a bond that can become so strong that it is equivalent to the love we feel for our current partner. In other words, we start developing that same feeling of love, sympathy, and attraction towards this new person.

Now, I know that it's a well known fact that the heart wants what it wants, but I wonder if loving two people at the same time won't generate this immense feeling of guilt every time we are with either one of our partners. Won't we feel like we are betraying them, or even betraying ourselves? If our feelings for someone are real, why do we still seek the company and love of another? Are we not defying the laws of monogamy? Are we not going against the laws laid down when we promise each other eternal security "till death do us part"? All these questions arose in my mind the first time I read the article.

However, I was amazed at the amount of married people, even people who had children and grandchildren, who openly admitted in this article that they were having a sort of "affair", if I may call it that way, alongside their married life. Even more interesting was the fact that neither of them considered it a mistake, or let alone even feel bad about it. On the contrary, they felt HAPPY about it, and described it as being the "perfect life". They said it gave them an opportunity to live the best of both worlds.

At that moment I began to wonder. In this world, where our time is defined by no one, and tomorrow is promised to none, should we consider it an act of shame loving more than one person at a time? Should we just watch opportunities pass us by or grab them as they come, even though it might not be an acceptable decision for others? Or should we follow our heart and live our life satisfied and happy, the way we would like? Is it even true that we are bound to be with someone for the rest of our lives? Or is there someone out there, someone we don't know about, someone we might never even get to know, who we are meant to be with and never will? Does a single, perfect soulmate and partner even exist? I wonder...