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> {Sung like a Gregorian chant}> Oh Great-Magnificent-Prestiguous-OrrrAAAAcle> Whose circumfrance I am not worthy to calCULlaaate.>> Why does my life suck so badly, Oracle? What did I EVER do to deserve> this life!? Help me, please, Oracle...>> Have a Nice Day. :-)

} C'mon, Mom, I told you never to call me here; I'm trying to work.} [. . .]}} I'm sorry. I -know- I said I'd call last week, but I got swamped with} all these woodchuck questions and spent most of my waking hours} recharging the ZOT machine. By the time I got home at night, I was} tired and it was too late to call.} [. . .]}} No, of -course- I don't love them more than you, but I've gotta job to} do here.} [. . .]}} Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit, Mom? Your life doesn't} suck. I mean, you've got a working ethernet connection, and I send you} all the woodchuck steaks you can eat twice a week. What else do you} want from me?} [. . .]}} -Besides- a phone call, Mom. I already said I was sorry about that. I} promise I'll call you later this week -- woodchucks or no woodchucks --} but I really gotta go now.} [. . .]}} Love you, too, Mom. Bye!

} Perhaps your remember this old song from your childhood:}} "Tell me why"}} "Tell me why the stars do shine.} Tell me why the ivy twines.} Tell me why the skies are blue,} and I will tell you just why I love you."}} This is the answer:}} "Nuclear fusion makes stars to shine.} Anatropisms make ivy twine.} Reilly diffraction makes skies to blue.} Hormones and gonads, that's why I love you."}} You owe the Oracle a negotiated settlement to my most recent copyright-} infringement suit from the Estate of Isaac Asimov.

} Well, let me look. Hmmm...... uh hum....Ah, I see! The smallest ant} is just tall enough where it's feet just *exactly* touch the ground.} Any shorter and it would have a real problem.}} You owe the Oracle another rubber tree plant.

> Oracle, who knows more about weather than Willard Scott,> who always knows when to take out the umbrella,> who can accually tell the different between each snowflake.>> Oracle, I'm currently sitting in the middle of a small electrical> storm, and the question occured to me: What causes lightning?