"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more
money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war
because you used up the Army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term
has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk
away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the
baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How
about cowboy or space man?

"Now I know what you're saying. There're so many other things that you as
President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's
a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela.Eliminating the sales tax on
yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security
to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

"But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern
like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly! I'm surprised that you
haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.
Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire
city to rising water and snakes.

"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, th surplus, four
airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New
Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky.

I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much
worse it could be if you were on the other side.

"So, yes, God does speak to you. What He is saying is, 'Take a hint.'"