"I’m sorry. I thought I had been invited to such an illustrious event because I am good at my job. Putting clothes on is such a small part of my day. They may as well have been criticising me for brushing my teeth differently to them"

Clint Eastwood is the vengeful pensioner, Roger Moore is the new James Bond, and David Cronenberg creates a horror milestone in a creepy apartment block: the RadioTimes team’s pick of free-to-air films on TV today