GRAND RAPIDS -- Everybody, sing along! 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beeeeer! Actually, that's a misrepresentation. There are over 430 different types of beer available at the West Michigan Beer Festival at Fifth Third Ballpark which when combined adds up to quite a bit more than a mere 99 bottles.

And MLive has them all covered. You'll see articles on the "Most Buzzed About Brews", etc. Plus stories on the history and heritage of the craft of brewing beer in Michigan. But for me? Well, by now you should know I'll be covering the lighter side of things. So please allow me to tell a quick tale that includes 12 of the wackiest beer names at this year's festival.

Everyone loves an "After Xmas, Xmas Ale" but tickets for this festival were sold out even before then. It's a hot ticket. You never know what you'll see, ("Willy's Oompa Loompa Stout") or hear, ("Wassupwiththemonkey Blueberry Ale or Oak Aged Hands Off My Goat Oatmeal Stout, or even smell. ("Vicious Hibiscus" or "Stout Chocula"). Live music can be found on stage or in a glass of "Spinal Tapper IPA". After taking a sip of some brews you may exclaim "Wheat The Hell Was That". Thankfully, they don't sell shots so there's no fear that you'll "Shoot Your Rye Out" but this many libations might inspire a "Fornicator Dopplebock" and cause some "Steamy Windows California Common". It's enough to make a "Blushing Monk Belgian Style Raspberry Ale" admit he's having a good time.

I'll end this story of silly stouts by adding an extra name and possibly the most important. Remember to drink "Responsibly Pilsner" and get home safely.

In case you wondering where you might get a case of those crazy-named beers: