Gargantua and Pantagruel eBook

The most difficult point was to get him back; for
in vain the youngsters complimented and coaxed him
to come. I dare not, said the ass; I am bashful.
And the more they strove by fair means to bring him
with them, the more the stubborn thing was untoward,
and flew out at the heels; insomuch that they might
have been there to this hour, had not his mistress
advised them to toss oats in a sieve or in a blanket,
and call him; which was done, and made him wheel about
and say, Oats, with a witness! oats shall go to pot.
Adveniat; oats will do, there’s evidence in
the case; but none of the rubbing down, none of the
firking. Thus melodiously singing (for, as you
know, that Arcadian bird’s note is very harmonious)
he came to the young gentleman of the horse, alias
black garb, who brought him to the stable.

When he was there, they placed him next to the great
horse his friend, rubbed him down, currycombed him,
laid clean straw under him up to the chin, and there
he lay at rack and manger, the first stuffed with sweet
hay, the latter with oats; which when the horse’s
valet-dear-chambre sifted, he clapped down his lugs,
to tell them by signs that he could eat it but too
well without sifting, and that he did not deserve so
great an honour.

When they had well fed, quoth the horse to the ass;
Well, poor ass, how is it with thee now? How
dost thou like this fare? Thou wert so nice at
first, a body had much ado to get thee hither.
By the fig, answered the ass, which, one of our ancestors
eating, Philemon died laughing, this is all sheer
ambrosia, good Sir Grandpaw; but what would you have
an ass say? Methinks all this is yet but half
cheer. Don’t your worships here now and
then use to take a leap? What leaping dost thou
mean? asked the horse; the devil leap thee! dost thou
take me for an ass? In troth, Sir Grandpaw,
quoth the ass, I am somewhat of a blockhead, you know,
and cannot, for the heart’s blood of me, learn
so fast the court way of speaking of you gentlemen
horses; I mean, don’t you stallionize it sometimes
here among your mettled fillies? Tush, whispered
the horse, speak lower; for, by Bucephalus, if the
grooms but hear thee they will maul and belam thee
thrice and threefold, so that thou wilt have but little
stomach to a leaping bout. Cod so, man, we dare
not so much as grow stiff at the tip of the lowermost
snout, though it were but to leak or so, for fear of
being jerked and paid out of our lechery. As
for anything else, we are as happy as our master,
and perhaps more. By this packsaddle, my old
acquaintance, quoth the ass, I have done with you;
a fart for thy litter and hay, and a fart for thy
oats; give me the thistles of our fields, since there
we leap when we list. Eat less, and leap more,
I say; it is meat, drink, and cloth to us. Ah!
friend Grandpaw, it would do thy heart good to see
us at a fair, when we hold our provincial chapter!
Oh! how we leap it, while our mistresses are selling
their goslings and other poultry! With this they
parted. Dixi; I have done.