George Wayne:Janey! Let’s get rolling! Happy Accidents—a rather odd title for a book, no?

Jane Lynch: Well, it turned out to be a metaphor for my life. I saw myself wanting to go in one way and ending up going another way. But it was actually my life taking care of me and showing me what to do next.

G.W.What chapter did you enjoy writing the most?

J.L. I think it’s probably the stuff about when I was a young actor in Chicago, doing Shakespeare and being a little too big for my britches. I enjoyed recalling how I fancied myself a classically trained actor. I basically alienated anyone who wanted to be my friend with my arrogance.

G.W.I can’t imagine Janey Lynch being arrogant—wow!

J.L. Oh, honey, you just ask. Talk to people now, too. I have a way of rolling my eyes.

G.W.When did you actually arrive in Hollywood?

J.L. I went to Cornell University and then came down to New York and tried to be an actress, and New York kind of ate me alive. I came back to Chicago and then went on the Real Live Brady Bunch tour, which took me to New York City for another seven or eight months and then to L.A. Within a year I was settled into L.A. That would have been 1993.

G.W.You once played a psychologist on Two and a Half Men. Then you ended up marrying a psychologist in real life—Dr. Lara. Isn’t that ironic?

J.L. It’s even more ironic that Lara’s best friend was a huge Two and a Half Men fan, and she said to Lara, You have to watch Two and a Half Men to watch the therapist, because I bet she’s just like you in the office. Lara was invited to this benefit for a legal organization in San Francisco. She was being given an award for her work with them, and I was on the bill to give an award to someone else. So there we met, and it was love at first sight.

G.W.Jane Lynch, will you concur wholeheartedly that nothing is more delectable than the incredible, edible labia?

J.L. Ha! I will concur.

G.W.Do you remember the name of the first girl that you kissed?

J.L. Yes. She was a professor at Illinois State. She was not only the first one I kissed, but we went all the way, if you will. We had a very tumultuous relationship, as one would expect with a professor and a self-hating student.

G.W.You’re so secure in your sexuality. But you didn’t tell your parents you were gay until you were 32 years old.

J.L. That’s because I wasn’t comfortable. I had two coming-outs. I had the coming-out to myself. And then I had the second coming-out, when I was about 32, with my parents. I think if I had come out to them when I was 18 or 19 it would have been more dramatic. By the time I was 32, it was such a relief.

G.W.Are you bosom buddies with other power lesbians of Hollywood? Do you and your wife have Sunday dinners with Ellen DeGeneres and her wife?

J.L. No, I think she’s wonderful. I don’t know her that well, personally. The power lesbians don’t just get together for dinners. We don’t do a potluck.

G.W.How much of a stretch is Sue Sylvester from Jane Lynch?

J.L. I don’t think I could play a convincing character if she didn’t live somewhere in me. I will tell you that I do not have to scratch the surface too far to find my angry, shaming robber of innocence.

G.W.Well, Jane, you’ll probably cackle like a hyena after this silly query. But what ever happened to Baby Jane?

J.L. Ha! Baby Jane has grown up.

G.W.O.K.! Finish it! What did she grow up to be?

J.L. Oh, this Baby Jane, she grew up to be six feet tall and happy with herself.