The Bachelor Juan Pablo Episode-by-Episode Spoilers

Finally got everything together and have your full season spoilers along with plenty of other information about this season. As far as I know, there is no other place on the internet that’s given a single spoiler about this season the last two months. So after today, any site that claims “we’re hearing that…”, or “sources tell us…”, no, just stop. You didn’t “hear” anything or you would’ve already reported it. It came from this site. So yeah, basically I’m talking to you “EOnline,” “People,” “US Weekly,” “RumorFix,” “HollywoodLife,” “Radar” or any other mom and pop website that ankle bites off this site. It’d be nice to give the site credit when you eventually steal from it like you do every season. Is it really hard to say “RealitySteve.com reported…?” I know it’ll probably fall on deaf ears and they won’t do it, but hey, doesn’t hurt to get it out there and let them know how big of frauds they are when it comes to “spoilers” of this show. These sites aren’t even talking about the show yet, but come January, they’ll be all over it and their news will be six weeks old since it’s getting spoiled today.

Some interesting tidbits to share about the season that you’ll be reading shortly:

-Every girl that got a 1-on-1 date this season got a rose. JP never sent anyone home on a 1-on-1
-For I think the first time ever, there is no 2-on-1 date this season
-Zak W. makes an appearance this season to talk to Juan Pablo. Just not sure which episode it happens in, but it’s definitely before they start traveling
-Clare is the only person in JP’s final four to get a 1-on-1 date before episode 5
-There are four girls that are either eliminated, or eliminate themselves, before rose ceremonies
-Four of Juan Pablo’s girls are currently in, or were in, relationships since they’ve returned from filming. And if I know about three of them, that means I can pretty much guarantee you there are others:

1) Amy Long is back together with her ex-boyfriend, former Florida St. football player, Chase Walker.
2) Lucy Aragon is dating the founder of SnapChat Evan Spiegel. They were just recently in Hawaii together and she’s really not hiding the relationship whatsoever. Yes, THAT Evan Spiegel that just turned down a $3 billion purchase offer from Facebook. Lucy comes from some serious money as well, so, I don’t think it matters.
3) Christy Hansen is dating current Chicago Bear safety Chris Conte. A picture from Chris’ Instagram posted this past weekend:

4) As mentioned in my post Nov. 6th, Kylie Lewis is dating Mikey Tenerelli, formerly of Desiree’s season. Well, I should say WAS dating. After a whopping few weeks of sex, they’re already done. Man, if those two couldn’t make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?

I put the date that each episode is airing in parentheses next to its episode number. This is subject to change since all I really did was go in order from every Monday staring Jan. 6th. Remember last season, they switched up the “Tell All” and the overnight date episode to have a 2-part finale. Based on what happens this season on the overnight dates, I can see them doing that again and airing the “Women Tell All,” then the overnight dates, then the finale. If that happens, it wouldn’t be announced til we get closer to the end. For now, I’m just dating the episodes as if it’d be a normal season schedule. So here you go…

Episode 1 (airing January 6th): Los Angeles, CA (27 down to 18)

ABC’s press release yesterday states that the “Bachelor” premiere is Monday, Jan. 6th, which is true, but that’s the actual show. As mentioned in the Oct. 30th post, there will be a special on Sunday night the 5th that will focus on Juan Pablo’s girls for the season. Showing us a lot of their intro videos, and a couple girls were even surprised by Chris Harrison and the production team who showed up to give them a rose. You know, kinda like how Carson Daly shows up to surprise people on the “Voice,” even though there’s nothing surprising about it since the people already know. So yeah, that’s what will air on Sunday night the 5th. No word yet on if it’s going to be a 1 or 2 hour show. That’ll be announced as we get closer to the premiere.

-Lucy wore a hippie dress, a flower power head band, and went shoeless on the first night. Should we have expected anything less?
-Kat salsa danced with him. Good. Kat dancing is what this world needs more of.
-Ever heard of a piano bike? Yeah, me neither. But Lauren Solomon showed up night one riding in on one of these:
-Ashley Poe gave him a gold star being a first grade teacher and all. I think she should’ve gone with a fruity smelling eraser.
-Molly the dog got out of the limo before Kelly did. Kinda like how Ben’s son got out first last season. And yes, Molly lived at the mansion with the girls until they left LA.
-Of course you had the obligatory soccer reference, and Alli came out of the limo with soccer shoes on kicking a ball around
-Amy Jokinen (one of the girls confirmed today) put him on a table for a massage during her 1 on 1 time at the cocktail party. Lovely. Happy ending?
-Remember this tweet from night one? Well, she was on her phone texting out of the limo:
-Clare faked a pregnancy out of the limo by wearing a fake baby bump
-Nikki had a stethoscope that she wore which she let Juan Pablo use to hear her heart beating
-Sharleen got the first impression rose

Once the first episode is online and released to the media and I somehow get my hands on it, I’ll add anything to the night 1 shenanigans that aren’t already here.

UPDATE 12/18: I’ve seen the episode. Here are the basics:

-The Sunday night show on the 5th I think is mostly going to center around footage of Juan Pablo & Camila in Miami and the girls that got surprised by Chris Harrison and producers with roses to let them know they were on the show. The fact that the first episode shows 9 girls’ intro videos (which is standard for the first episode) makes me think we won’t be seeing any intro videos of the girls on the 5th. We’ll see.

-Episode starts with your basic footage of Juan Pablo in his hometown of Miami playing with Camila and talking about his life. Then shows him in LA moving into his house and hanging out at Santa Monica Pier with Camila doing daddy/daughter things. His parents and Camila lived in LA the entire time he was filming there.

-One minor correction to be made on the spoilers. I said that Sean & Catherine visited after night one to talk to him about the journey. Actually it’s just Sean, and he talks to him before night one about what to expect. Basic stuff.

-There are 9 intro videos shown: Chelsie, Renee, Andi, Amy J, Nikki, Lauren H, Valerie, Lacy, and Clare. So if you’re scoring at home, of the 9 that got intro videos its: the final four, four girls that got booted night one, and Chelsie. Odd mix. I know that’s the first time that all 4 of the final four got their intro videos shown in the first episode. You know what that means? Absolutely nothing. Just pointing it out.

-You already know about some of the limo exit shenanigans. I will say that this had to be the least creative limo exits they’ve ever had. A LOT of girls did nothing. Just got out, introduced themselves, gave a hug, said their name, told him they were excited, then went in. Good. After 27 seasons now of limo exits, it’s basically impossible to do something creative or funny.

-Amy L. is the first one they show out of the limo (even though she wasn’t the actual first one out), and Andi is the last one they show. Sharleen is second to last and her side boob was on full display.

-Once inside, Juan Pablo breaks out a little music and they have a quick group dance. There’s also a photo booth where the girls get in and take silly pictures.

-When the cocktail party starts, the girls who get their 1-on-1 time with him shown are: Nikki (the first girl we see him with), Renee, Lucy, Amy J, Chelsie (in the photo booth), Elise, Lauren H, Andi, and Sharleen.

-Honestly, there is really nothing major that happens at the cocktail party at all. The biggest focus, and probably what most people will be talking about the next day, is Lauren H. She’s the one previously engaged who had her fiancé dump her just weeks before the wedding. So basically every shot of her at the cocktail party, and every ITM, is of her crying and them just harping on what the broken engagement has done to her confidence. It kinda sucks. She will probably be crucified by the public and be the crying, blubbering girl from night one that everyone remembers.

-The only other noteworthy thing to happen is Sharleen getting the first impression rose. This chick is awesome. Basically, she doesn’t seem to give a sh** about Juan Pablo and is shocked he’s even giving her the rose (my guess it was the side boob). She’s the only girl in the mansion that doesn’t speak in clichés. Even accepting the first impression rose, she’s reluctant. Says “our connection seemed a little forced.” Then drops the doozy of, “Either I feel something or I don’t. Still a little early for me.” As opposed to every other girl that’s coached to say how great the lead is when they’re meeting him for the very first time and really don’t know sh** about him. So now we pretty much already see Sharleen’s storyline developing and why she ends up leaving on her own in Miami. She obviously was never really that into him.

-Of the 9 girls eliminated on the first night, I’d say Lauren H and Kylie probably get the most camera time. Kylie mostly ITM’s and Lauren, well, a lot of crying. A lot.

-I’d say overall the girls who get the least amount of camera time once the cocktail party starts that I can remember are: Christine, Victoria, Chantel, Cassandra, Kelly, Lauren S, Val, Christy, and Alexis.

-I cannot say this enough: This episode is EXACTLY the same as the previous 26 first episodes they’ve had. There is absolutely nothing different about it, the two hours flow just like all the other ones, there’s very little drama, and it’s basically just an introduction to everyone. They’ll hype it up and people will say all these things about how great it is, blah blah blah but it’s the same thing as all other first episodes. Until the promo for the whole season airs, that’s when you’ll be able to tell about where some of the edits are leaning. Like Nikki comes across as completely normal and likable in her intro video and her 1-on-1 talk with him at the cocktail party. I’m guessing that’ll last one episode based on the fact that she’s the most unlikable girl in the house. It’s easy to edit her that way in episode 1 when you don’t have to show her interacting with anyone.

-Clare will probably come across as a fan favorite just based on her intro video talking about her dad that died a year ago and left behind a DVD that she has yet to watch which she says she’ll show to her future husband.

32 Comments

Too bad Brooks wasn’t the Bachelor, solely for the reason that he could have picked Chantel Forrest. She could have married him to become Chantel Forrest Forrester. Bummer.

Can’t wait to see the ratings plummet this season even more than they did during Des’s. I have a feeling we’ll all enjoy poking fun of this franchise more than ever this season.

loveisblind

November 20, 2013 at 4:39 PM

This is hilarious!..Went to high school with Nikki and clearly nothing has changed! lol… I can’t wait to watch!! Karma, that’s all I got to say!! Haha!

erin4

November 20, 2013 at 5:39 PM

So basically, it’s gonna be Ben Season 2 with subtitles.

bnfan

November 20, 2013 at 5:56 PM

Usually, I enjoy reading Reality Steve the way Steve enjoys watching Bachelor/Bachelorette – for entertainment. But I must say, making a convincing argument on who the next Bachelorette will be before the Bachelor even airs is pretty good.

angelsbbfan

November 20, 2013 at 9:19 PM

Can’t wait to watch this season and see how it lines up with what you said. Last year happened…whatever… but your blogs make this show worth watching.

ccrider

November 21, 2013 at 11:50 AM

I’m looking forward to JP’s season starting not just to watch the train wreck of a show but also to get the comments section busy again!!

kasey31

November 21, 2013 at 9:35 PM

Funny, it was obvious that Nikki was the most similar to JP. I thought Andi seemed way too good for him in every way.. glad she figured it out. Also, Claire looks sweet in her photos. I know it’s not a great indicator, but it’s something in the eyes.. same way I felt when I saw Catherine’s photo for some reason. I wonder if JP picked Nikki because he sensed her insincerity, making it easier for them to inevitably split- Nikki’s endless selfies and profiles in and of themselves spoke volumes to me when Steve originally posted them. She’s all about herself.

^Amen, ccrider!

rob22

November 23, 2013 at 12:19 PM

Erin: you hit it exactly right. Bens season featured a totally unlikable tool with bad hair who picked one of the two most hated Bachelor contestants in the history of the franchise. JP has bad hair, is totally into himself and barely speaks the language…. And was so compelling that he got about 3 minutes of airtime on an unwatchable, content starved season of The Bachelorette. Pair that with the house b*tch getting picked! and these two are going to get crucified by the media…. Probably even more than Ben Flatdick and his rent a wh*re Courtney. I’ll say it again, I don’t see the franchise surviving this season and I don’t see any compelling Bachelorette contestants coming out of this season either. It’s over. It’s been a nice run. Time for RS to get a real job.

utahmomof1

November 24, 2013 at 9:27 PM

Just saw the first pre-veiw for JP’s Bachelor season. I’ve been disappointing in him being the bachelor from the first talks that he might be next. I can hardly even understand him!! I watch every season, so I will try this season too. Why would they pick someone who has such a hard time with English??

iheartvino

November 24, 2013 at 9:35 PM

I’ll bet the majority of the audience and the people watching on TV were thinking “who the F is this guy?!” when Juan Pablo presented at the AMAs. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more previews than ever for his season. ABC has gotta be desperate.

bigfatwoman2

November 25, 2013 at 7:54 AM

Daisy Fuentes with Juan Pablo on last night’s AMA’s.

D-List meets Z-List.

Juan Pablo looks like a young cross-eyed Bjorn Borg.

marybods

November 25, 2013 at 2:24 PM

Love, love, love a good train wreck. Knowing this is all B.S. makes it that much more comical. I believe JP is still with Carla. To many recent pics of them looking real cozy. I was NEVER that comfortable with my ex, and we have a child together. Friendly with him, but not lovey dovey like these two are. Absolutely agree with Steve, he is just trying to advance his AND her careers.
Des and Chris look like they just may make it after all. That is one girl that was gonna find a husband no matter what. Kiddos to them.

motherduck

December 30, 2013 at 10:54 AM

Thought Juan Pablo was a fake from the start. On the other hand, I’ve just finished watching The Bachelor Australia on line. Got to search Google for episodes. It was the first Bachelor in Australia, and they did a good job. The mansion makes the US Los Angles mansion look like a tacky slum house. Really enjoyed watching it. The women were more mature, the Bachelor Tim Robards is a and a real guy and was sincere in finding love. He and his lady are going strong with lots of Instagram and Twitter pics together, with their families, at family events, photos with grandmas, and out at public events. They are very in love, and it’s refreshing to see one of these work out. Too bad Fleiss and Co. doesn’t air this version in the off season. From what I saw, I’d rather watch the Australia version. It made me want to catch the first flight out for Sidney.

jaybird38941

January 2, 2014 at 10:38 AM

What does Sharleen living in Canada have to do with becoming the next bachelorette?
Jillian Harris is Canadian and was living in Canada when she was named bachelorette. Jessie Palmer was no longer living in the U.S. when he was named bachelor. He had already moved back to Canada because the NFL team he played for cut him before filming started.

jacey

January 6, 2014 at 8:58 AM

1st – Thanks Reality Steve for pre-gurgitation of the upcoming season. I was pretty sure I wasn’t interested. Now I’m certain.

Kudos to Sharleen – a woman after my own heart. Being on the show was clearly a publicity move for her, and after she sufficiently milked it, she removed herself from the cesspool before she messed around and got picked during the final rose ceremony (ala Brooks). I love it!!! Bet she got out of that limo and thought to herself “Oh, hell no! You’re not worthy of a-ll this, here.”

I’m still laughing at the comment about Juan Pablo looking like Bjorn Borg with cross eyes. Admittedly, I wasn’t sure who that is, so I Googled him, and darned if the comment wasn’t dead on the money. Love the accent, but he looks a little odd to me.

Enough with Juanary crap, already, ABC!

The overwhelming majority of the people associated with this show are in it for their ‘fifteen minutes.’ Not just the leads. Why else would someone go on a show to get married to someone who is not only a stranger with 24 some odd other women/men also vying for him/her, and whose identity they don’t even know until the casting??? Seriously. It’s either that or mental illness.

I really hope this franchise finds its’ demise soon, but somehow I suspect that ain’t happening anytime in the foreseeable future.

Finally… Sad news about Gia. She seemed like a genuinely great person. Seemed happy, too. I guess you just never know. RIP

nora j

January 6, 2014 at 8:27 PM

I agree Andi will prob be the next bachelorette. She seemed to stand out the most out of all the girls. She was attractive but not too annoying or weird…and they’re making a point of her being a prosecutor. Makes sense for her to leave…I don’t see her with JP at all….and I agree it seems weird casting all these white women when JP seems very Latino.

lallia

January 6, 2014 at 9:12 PM

Lauren H deserves what she gets… She was dumped only a couple months before? Not even close to appropriate to start something new.
Juan Pablo impressed me with his memory of details about the different girls – nice job!

jennifer49

January 7, 2014 at 7:04 AM

I’ve been skeptical about the choice of JP as the Bachelor since day 1. Yes, he is gorgeous and, yes, he appears to be sweet, charming an authentic good guy looking to get married. But, I question his sincerity. First, a Latino from Miami most certainly is not a match for a sweet, clean cut American girl. I say that because I live in the area. If Spanish is not your first language, you will not survive living in Miami, even if you are in love. Second, the most beautiful girl from the Ohio or anywhere else in the country will be a plain Jane against the Latino beauties in Miami. I doubt any girl who is not Latin will acclimate very well to life in Miami or the culture. Also, the fact that Juan Puablo travels for work raises quite a few red flags in my book as to how the relationship will survive? Any girl moving to Miami from out of the area will find the most complete culture shock of her life. Sorry, ABC, as charming as he is, I don’t buy any of it. Sorry viewers if you get your hearts crushed this season – don’t expect it to last. I am sure JP has his pick of beauties locally and does not need to be fixed up. He is undoubtedly the Bachelor for other reasons and will go on to something else no doubt.

kabuki

January 7, 2014 at 1:53 PM

Love reading your recaps, Reality Steve, but you showed your ignorance with the comment, “Juan Pablo has never dated a white woman in his life.” His ex, Carla, the mother of his daughter, is indeed White. You can be White and Latina, Asian and Latina, Black and Latina, etc., etc. White is a race and Latin/Hispanic is an ethnicity.

Kabuki has it. And the fact is that Juan Pablo and his family, as well as his ex and his daughter, ARE, for all practical purposes, White. So waht if they speak Spanish? There is no “indio” blood in any of them really.

duckquack

January 8, 2014 at 1:46 AM

some latina’s in Miami are gorgeous, some are not….you go Steve give it to them plain and simple….entertainment galore…..wtf if going on next week, every girl in that house was crying in next weeks previews…maybe they need some Bojangles and Juan should feed them.

tklong

January 11, 2014 at 2:27 PM

Hello Steve I find your blogs to be very Funny and interesting.. Even though I like the anticipation leading up to the finale, I also like the entertainment of all the different outcome and opinions the bloggers do.. Anyway I read some where in one of your blogs About Jimmy Fallon guessing the top 3.. whether he knew or it was intuition it was right up my alley.. after first episode my top four were: Renee, Clare, Nikki, & Andi.. So It is possible to know and get a idea after first show.. Anyway love the work you do, it is very humorous!!!

quinncy

January 13, 2014 at 9:18 PM

I liked Kelly! I think she needs to be the next bachelorette (Molly too) lol

TopherM

January 21, 2014 at 2:42 PM

Strange. My wife and I watched the first show and Nikki was the one we thought would be the most normal and sweet because of how she was acting with the kids, etc. Really was sweet. I guess, if she acts as RS says on the show, that its a disappointment.

citygirl29

January 25, 2014 at 10:43 PM

Thanks Steve! Love to hear your predictions and spoilers for the show. It actually makes it more fun to watch!! It’s my weekly dose of no-brainer entertainment.

gggoodgggirl

January 28, 2014 at 2:43 AM

Thanks Steve! I appreciate your predictions and the humor you add to each season of this franchise. I honestly don’t care if you get every little detail right, and in fact I fully expect that the very last episode may or may not correct… I like that little bit of suspense. But clearly you have consistently gotten all of the episodes through the overnights correct every single season.

Now, let me tell you what is REALLY frustrating. I hate it when OTHER sites misconstrue what you say or predict and include those untruths in their articles. Its really annoying and then somehow points back to you having your facts wrong… but its NOT you that has it wrong, its THEM. For example, I just read on 2 sites that this season is the first season where the finale did not end in a proposal. Grrrrr…. that is NOT true and it is NOT what you said. You said “since Brad’s season…” and in fact Brad’s first season, Jesse Palmer’s season, and Jen Schefft’s season did not end in proposals. So there you have my venting…

Keep up the great work, love your site, and love the dimension of fun and humor you add to the show!

bamboogirl

February 3, 2014 at 5:57 PM

He chose Nikki ? Yuk. she was the most conceded one there ! And trust me with that negativity, she is not going to make a good mother. Shame ….

sarahanne33

February 18, 2014 at 1:37 PM

Has reality Steve mentioned who the next bachelorette will officially be?

lexasmygirl

March 10, 2014 at 5:03 PM

To be honest, I thought Clair was the nastier of the two. Always whining and always pushing everyone aside. Nikki may not have been overly friendly to the others, but from the editing, to me, it appears that Claire is the worst of the two.

suleewilson

March 10, 2014 at 11:25 PM

Wow, you nailed it, Steve! I loved Chris’s attempts to get SOMETHING out of JP at ATFS — and his comment to “shower it off” at the end – what a riot!
Hey, do you know what the “sudden change of plans” was that JP referred to? Would love to hear that, as well as what was actually said in the helicopter to Clare — Thanks for your excellent ‘reporting,’ and I am looking forward to the spoilers for The Bachelorette!