Under questioning from a city attorney, Breiner had this to say: "If you are asking if I had an orgasm, yes. It was a job, sir. I didn't have pleasure doing this. I was paid to do it."

The unpleasurable orgasm. A new breakthrough in human sexual relations.

When we talked to Breiner's attorney Larry Watts, he took pains to reassure us that his client's wife was perfectly fine with his conduct -- as long as the cops were going for felony convictions, not misdemeanors. (We all draw the line somewhere.)

Of the two hookers who serviced Breiner -- through "manual stimulation, oral sex and vaginal penetration," as the Beaumont Enterprise put it -- one got the charges dropped against her, one pled out to 18 months' probation.

Since she made that plea bargain before her colleague got her charges dropped, she is now trying to get the same thing.

Her attorney, Brian Wice, refused to comment pending an upcoming meeting with prosecutors. And if you know Brian Wice and his ability to say "no comment," then you're checking right now for freezing conditions in Hell.