Mark on the Move

Emotions

As I struggled to recover from my two cerebral vascular accidents in 2007, I also found myself struggling to trust God. I must admit as I look back, I find that confusing because I attended church as a youth. On Sundays we went to mass at Saint Benedict the Moor Catholic Church in Queens, New York. I went through religious instruction and confirmation. As a teenager I attended Cornerstone Baptist Church with my wife’s family. I guess what I am trying to say is, I considered my-self a good Christian. However, when I was told I had suffered two strokes, had major neuro surgery and I had a long recovery ahead of me, I went through a wide range of emotions. At times I was angry. I was mad about why this was happening in to me. I didn’t throw or break things, but my thoughts were angry. Why was God doing this to me? Other times, I was in denial. I couldn’t believe I had suffered a stroke and had the deficits described to me. Sometimes I recall feeling depressed. When I tried to walk, and I couldn’t, it was deflating. And still other times I was scared. There were times I wondered if I ever would be able to walk again, work again, run again, to lead a “normal” life. One day while I was feeling down my wife reminded me, that I didn’t know what God’s plan was for me, and I needed to trust Him. She said “I know it is tough right now, because you are having difficulty walking, talking, seeing and remembering. But you need to trust God”. Her message was a reminder that I needed to turn to my faith. It was a message I badly needed. As I look back, I realize the emotions I described earlier prevented me from turning to my faith. Anger, denial, depression and fear, – just to name a few, will prevent you from turning to your faith. I needed someone to remind me to place my trust in God.

When we go through difficult moments in our lives, emotions can prevent us from relying on our faith and we need loved ones to remind us to turn to that foundational belief.

Hebrews 12

2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.