Ted Haggard gives Tiger Woods advice on the Joy Behar Show

Thank God we get The Joy Behar Show in Hong Kong. Thank God the show is aired at a time I’m free to watch. And thank God, he cured Ted Haggard of his homosexuality. The thought of Haggard grimacing with his big hippo mouth as he’s plowed from behind is enough to make even me turn straight.

I’m glad Joy has people like the Haggards on her show. It’s too easy and unfair to dismiss people like them as stupid, pathetic and hypocritical. I actually found myself liking Gayle Haggard when she first appeared on Joy’s show a couple of weeks ago.

Do I agree that her husband was cured of his homosexuality? Of course not. Do I think she’s dilusional? You bet. Do I think she’s pathetic? Surprisingly no. Gayle is a sympathetic character and not so obviously brain-dead like Sarah Palin. She’s a woman in love with her gay husband. That’s not pathetic. That’s sad.

For his part, Ted Haggard did the best he could under the circumstances. He must have known that Joy didn’t give two Elisabitch Hasselsnatches about his advice to Tiger Woods. She was more interested in discussing his own transgressions. But he, like his wife, is dilusional.

I honestly think the two of them really believe what they say: that you can be cured of homosexuality, that it’s a product of sexual molestation as a child, that you can choose to align your sexual orientation with your spiritual values. Now, THAT, that’s just stupid.