“Just had a sobering conversation with my Dad who just updated his last will & testament. “Paul…I want them to pull the plug if I ever become a vegetarian.” Classic! lol.”

I told Paul that, in all fairness, if I ever became a vegetarian he had the green light to pull the plug on me too.

Along similar lines, Akemi was trying to use Siri, the voice-activated personal assistant app on her iPhone the other night. She commanded it to bring up her “Line” app, a Japanese version of Skype, with…well…predictable results:

Akemi: Line.

Siri: I don’t understand “I”.

Akemi: Line!

Siri: I don’t know what you mean by “find”.

Akemi: LINE!

Siri: I don’t know what that means. If you like, I can search the web for “lying”.

Akemi: No. Line!

Siri: You don’t have any events on your calendar at 9 a.m. Shall I create it?

Akemi: No. Line!

Siri: I don’t know what you mean by “nine”. Okay, I set up your event for today.

Akemi: (anguished cry as she flops back onto the bed).

I shouldn’t laugh. For some reason and despite my futile attempts to change it, my iPhone has made me someone else from my contact list. Thus, whenever I try to use Siri, the conversation goes something like this:

Me: Time?

Siri: Marolyn, the time is 5:15 p.m.

Me: I’m not Marolyn.

Siri: I don’t know that that means. If you like, I can search the web for “I’m not Marolyn”.

Me: No. I’M not Marolyn.

Siri: I don’t know what you mean by “No I am not Marolyn” How about a web search for it?

Me: Please, stop calling me Marolyn.

Siri: Sorry, Marolyn, I can’t do that. You’re not listening to the Music app.

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