In a medium skillet heat the oil to medium heat, add chicken and cook through. Add onions, pepper, pepper flakes, spinach, garlic salt and sauté until soft. Add cream cheese and let all the flavors blend for a moment. Take mixture off the heat and spray a baking sheet with cooking spray. Stuff the chicken mixture into the caps, top with desired amount of parm. Bake uncovered for 10-15 min.

Bam! Enjoy your healthy homemade dinner betches! I served it with left over green beans and a small portion of zesty sweet potato fries. Hubs approved :)

As most of you have read on my FB or Twitter, your fave hot mess has landed a BIG GIRL JOB! And if you were wondering did hell freeze over?! The answer is no, because it’s still freaking 95 degrees out here in the land of humidity AKA Florida.

I start as the new sales admin for a local shipping company on Monday…and I am a bit nervous. Not because of the job and what it entails, just the fact that I will be nearly (ok 35 hours) full-time there, full-time at USF and part-time SMom. Throw in that 35 mile drive to BFE 2-3 times a week followed by class then work. Add a night class-which is a whopping 3 hours and all the other shit I tend to over commit myself to and you may flip out for me! LOL. We all know I am OCD and have every millisecond mapped out, but with a 5 yr old SD SHIT happens. And it’s normally at the worst times, obviously!

In other news:

School: my professors are pretty legit and I’m actually really into my Biopolitics class. We Americans sure used to be some real heartless assholes! Example: Tuskegee Syphilis Study or when we “allegedly” established a fake hepatitis B vaccination (in lieu of the Polio one that was needed) campaign in Pakistan to help apprehend its most wanted man; Bin Laden. Way to go Merica, nothing says trust like faking out sick people! VOM. Seriously though, look that shit up. It’s pretty interesting.

Travel: just got back Monday night from a mini vacay in Orlando with a few friends and had an AWESOME time. So awesome that I in fact will be detoxing and working out like a nutbag for the next month prior to our next mini vacay…you know, in all that extra time I will have soon. Up next is my 10 year high school reunion (Side Note: GET YOUR CHECKS IN SLACKING COUGAR ALUMNI) in St. Pete in mid October followed by NYC for turkey day. The mom will be in town for Halloween and we are staying one night at Disney for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween shin-dig, so I guess that counts too haha!

Life: Good in general. Hubs business is thriving, I nailed a job, dogs are good and SD’s behavior has been pretty on point. Tiffs here and there with BM, but that is just par for the course on this blog isn’t it?! I am happy to admit that I will be pulling out of that more and more as I get busier with work and school. I will no longer be the go to for appointments or other randoms. I decided its more than time to get on with me and if other people fall to the wayside (hubs being an exception), then so be it.

FitnASS: if you aren’t following me on Twitter (http://twitter.com/MandaB11), shame on you. If you are, then you know it’s #SquatSeptember and I am up to 70 today. Start with a lower goal and add 5 on everyday. Your ass and/or significant other can thank me & @gymratdiaries later. Back on the cardio grind and a new B complex supplement. No more fatty food until I can drink my face off with it…and we’re on day 2 of that so lets see how I feel next week haha!

Todays Dinner: Greek chicken pitas with cukes, golden cherry toms, onion, light feta, tzatsiki sauce & spinach couscous. Also whipped up a batch of pumpkin cake; which is only a can of pumpkin and a box of sugar free yellow cake mix baked at 350 for like 30 min or so. DELISH.

Hola Betches! Here is a recipe I concocted yesterday and it turned out fab! Its a little heat and sweet and would probably do well with chicken or pork chops too. FUN FACT: whenever I type or write jalapeno I always say Ja-lap-en-oh in my head. Told you I’m a bit off haha! Let me know what you think if you whip up a batch :)

Jalapeno Pineapple Mahi

Pretty, right!?

2 4oz Mahi filets (I used frozen)

1/2 can pineapple tidbits & juice

2 tbsp diced canned jalapenos

1 tbsp honey

2 tbsp salsa (I had Newman’s black bean & corn on hand)

Dash salt

1/2 tsp flour

Cooking Spray

Mrs Dash Table Blend

1/2 tbsp butter

Combine the first 7 ingredients and place in refrigerator for 30 min. Heat skillet on medium Season filets with Mrs Dash. Melt butter in pan and add fish. Cook 4-7 min (depending on thickness of filets) on one side. Remove half cooked fish, spray pan with cooking spray and return fish to pan for another 4-7 min. Plate fish and top with sauce. Serve with your favorite veggie or side item (I used a birds eye steam fresh with asparagus, gold and white corn and baby carrots that I added garlic salt to).

As promised, below is my rendition of the Olive Garden Italian Dressing. GASP! Is this 2 posts this week?! OH SNAP! Personally I like it better than the real deal OG, but I may try and sub out the corn syrup for agave next go round. I’m not really a fan of OG and frankly I think it is a shame they call it “Italian”, but the salad and lovely 140 calorie a pop breadsticks are prettttty dang good. It has been at least a HOT 5+ years since I have gone to the joint too though, so don’t get all pissy patty** on me because you LOVE it or some shit!

Hot Mess OG Dressing

1/8 C White Vinegar

1/8 C White Wine Vinegar

3 tbsp grated parm

1/2 tsp garlic salt

1/2 tsp Italian seasoning

1/2 tsp salt

2 tbsp light corn syrup

2 tbsp reduced fat mayo

1/4 cup water

1 tbsp lemon juice

Mix all that jazz up and combine with a PREPARED (water & oil of your choice) packet of Good Seasonings Zesty Italian Mix

Chill 1 hour before serving, will keep 3-4 weeks in sealed jar or bottle. I used a Grolsch bottle I had saved for god knows what LOL.

**Pissy Patty side note: I have spent basically an entire “work day” cleaning up what seems to be 2 gallons of SD’s pee, because she “didn’t want to get up” last night and go in ohhhhh I don’t know where… MAYBE in the TOILET!?! Steam clean, rinse, repeat 5 times, sprinkle with baking soda, vacuum, dab with vinegar & water, wait to dry…STILL wreaks of urine. SUPER, right!?

BONUS RECIPE ALERT!!!

Breakfast at Denny’s Shot:

1 oz Jameson (or any whiskey will do, I know we can’t be fancy all the time lol)

1/2 oz Butterscotch Schnapps

Served chilled with an OJ back and a slice of bacon

(Thanks Megs for reminding me of this gem and adding the bacon!)

Happy Monday, we all managed to survive another…although many of us prob would have been better off with a couple bfasts at dennys to start it off !

I know what you’re thinking…tell us how you really feel lady, jeeze! Haha. Truth is I am SO BLAHHHH lately it is redonk. Let’s get the bitching out of the way first:

My summer school schedule sucks and I would rather pluck out my eyelashes one by one than learn more about spanish and the judicial process…oh and death and dying which is an “at your pace” online class that I have yet to start!

Life with SD is unlovely (yes, I just made that up) as usual. The sky is the limit with her tudes and lack of respect. Pretty positive she hasn’t watched TV in 2 weeks. WHOOPS! And to top it off I now have to drive 66 miles round trip to get her to summer camp at her new school. YAY

The lack of motivation I have to do anything besides crack open a bottle of vino lately is utterly embarrassing lol. Seriously, I barely make it to the gym twice a week. I have gone down to only vacuuming once a week… GASP! SN: in this heat (already in the 90s) with 2 shedding dogs it is gross. SHAMEFUL I tell you! My dinners are boring. I have fallen off the calorie counting wagon. And the last time we walked the dogs is prob a hot 14 days ago or so. I don’t even complete my OCD to-do lists anymore. I think I am dying lol.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?!?!

So, in other (positive) random news…Hubs and I found a fabulous new hotel we stayed in last weekend for a night. Hilton Bonnett Creek Orlando-great rates, awesome pool and all around beautiful property. It’s on Disney property & Disney makes me happy lol. Let me not forget to add that the lobby bar has an outstanding Hendricks cucumber tini! It may be hot as shit outside but that equals tan bods, and vitamin D makes you (me) happy! Booked our fourth of July trip to Key West (& hubs bday). I’m doing my first “mud run” next weekend, which should be REAL interesting considering my lack of physical activity lately. Got tickets to Jason Aldean/Luke Bryan and plan on having an epic tailgate come August 10th. SD is doing a lock-in at our YMCA this Saturday…annnnnd “Parents Night Out” Friday-YATZEE. $32 well spent there folks. Headed to a food festival this weekend as well, snagged $5 tickets on living social. I learned that if you spray lemon furniture polish on your glass shower doors and let it sit for 15 min or so it just wipes it all away (are these really the things that excite me now?)-thank you Pinterest. Anything Pioneer Woman has turned out amazeballs. I am slowly but surely cutting down our monthly bills. Annnnnd last but not least I have not killed anyone-YET. Muahahahaha :)

So there you have it, I guess it isn’t SO bad in the life of this hot mess. HA! Til next time betches…

For those of you that aren’t from my hood, the Florida Strawberry Festival is going on right now. We don’t play around when it comes to berries! You can get strawberry shortcake, strawberry cookies, strawberry lemonade, strawberry sweet tea, strawberry shakes, strawberry funnel cakes…the list goes on. Plus every delicious & disgusting fried or “on a stick” creation you can imagine. So there are the usual games, rides, a parade, concerts (LUKE BRYAN tomorrow on MY BIRTHDAY eeeek), animal shows, and PAGEANTS! Of course we have a Strawberry Queen, duh. Girls starve themselves for that coveted title haha! We rode the “Bear Affair” (really with that name?!), The Super Fun Slide & some himalaya gimic-maybe called the Flying Bobs?! Hell I don’t know. I also got sucked into the ping pong fish game and boy was I wrong when I thought SD wouldn’t sink one. Now we have a fish named “Strawberry Bum Bum“- you think the carnies inspired her name?! hahahaha. SD had a corndog and strawberry lemonade. All for the low price of $50. YEE HAW :)

And with all that comes…CARNIES! These mofos are beyond annoying. Yes, I get it-it’s your job to talk shit and try and take my money. But really…when I have a damn 5 yr old tagging along can you refrain from “damn look at THAT ass” or “hey sexy mama this ones on me…let her play” GROSS. One even guessed my damn name which blew SD’s mind so she tried to keep talking to the one toothed wonder. What makes them think it is ok to act/look/talk like that? I live pretty damn close to carnie central, aka Gibsonton FL so you would think I’d be used to it. Not the case. I still want to hand out toothbrushes, hand sani and GED pamphlets.