Man Sues Justin Bieber For Borrowing Abortion Money

Remember when Mariah Yeater claimed Justin Bieber impregnated her despite having no real evidence the two had ever even met? In retrospect, her claim sounds pretty damn believable when compared against a new lawsuit the Biebs was just hit with. A man claiming to be Selena Gomez’s father is accusing the pop star of impregnating his daughter on a bearskin rug, borrowing money for an abortion and never paying it back, as well as a host of other ludicrous crimes.

According to TMZ, “Mr. Gomez” also claims the Biebs cheated on his daughter numerous times with Rihanna, Penelope Cruz and Ke$ha, stole his credit card to buy cocaine in order to get high with p. diddy in a “drug free school zone” and allowed Usher to sodomize the poor father with a firework while blaring “Firework” by Katy Perry. The whole thing sounds like an uproarious Saturday Night Live sketch poking fun at all the people who come forward to make wild claims about the Biebs, but since the lawsuit was actually filed, Selena’s supposed dad is probably going to end up paying for Justin’s attorneys after the case is thrown out. That could well run into six figures, which would make this far from a laughing matter. Unless, of course, it's all true, in which case the musician has a lot of explaining to do.

Bieber’s people haven’t responded to this new lawsuit. In theory, they probably shouldn’t dignify it with a response, but publically saying “wtf?” might prove too tempting. We’ll keep you updated.