Month: March 2017

I dimmed the lights, lay naked on the couch, and gradually rid my mind of the random bullshit permeating my soul. David Gilmour wailed from across the room and I sighed, exhaling the sins of the day like vapor memories. It felt good massaging my breasts and pulling my nipples – nice the way I could cup them in my hands, squeezing and kneading.

The warmth of my hands smoothing along my torso triggered faint pings in my pussy. The anticipation of penetrating myself elevated my own masturbation to a sense of self-seduction. The fingering I had been doing lately stimulated me to crave it, like my lover’s cock pushing deep and pausing there.

With my new dildo, I would reward my twitching pussy with some well-aimed deep thrusting. I craved penetration, a girthy invasion of my vagina, that thick cock tingle and a full sensation. Starting with my clit, I pressed the vibrator on my clit hood, then spreading my pussy lips and gently circling that protruding boner. Pulses ran deep along the sides of my vulva and into my vigi.

The longer I teased my clit and fingered myself, the more I needed fucked slowly, deeply, and forcibly.

There isn’t much that an 8-inch curved dildo can’t cure, especially with a hyper-sexed clit, and some Zen fen shui. With throbbing vulva, I kissed my vaginal opening with the head of the dildo, swirling around my opening, pushing sideways and touching the inside slightly. This didn’t last long as I grabbed the end of the toy and slowly pushed inside pretending my lover was the hard cock I felt. I imagined him watching my face as he thrust in, paused, pulled out and repeated this delicious fuck.

Grabbing my breast and squeezing the nipple, I pushed the dildo in deep and began moving it around inside. Slowly in, slowly out, pausing and circling around deep inside my vigi. The sensation was extraordinary. I had never felt a cock so deep, so determined, so fucking hot!

The warm dildo worked my pussy as I pushed the vibrator hard against my clit hood. I drew my legs to my chest as the combined rush tingled my loins. I had never felt pleasure like this, nor had I imagined it.

Angling the head of the dildo upward, I began stroking the top of my vagina in search of my G-Spot. My pussy was swollen with excitement and clamped down hard on the dildo. One more foray to the top of my vagina and … WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

Somewhere just under my belly button, I must’ve touched my G-spot and it rocked my world. Every nerve radiating from inside my pussy tingled and sparked. My legs shook: I was wide-eyed and wild for a few seconds before this extraordinary impulse dissipated. What the fuck was that?! My G-spot? Had to be.

I continued playing with the dildo, trying to recreate what had just happened, but I couldn’t find the spot again. That one hit, that one bull’s eye, so fleeting, yet so incredibly pleasurable that I couldn’t wait to experience it again.

Did I orgasm, I’m not sure, but I acquainted myself with my G-spot and knew it was the sexual epiphany from which all future fucks would be measured. I lay relaxed, exulted, a newly annointed goddess.

It’s predictable, typical, ordained. Like the certainty of dawn, it happens. You’re doing the nasty while preoccupied with the dishwasher, or your crass boss. Maybe it’s an obnoxious rat terrier barking in the next yard or that fucking speeding ticket: anything, everything but orgasm. For the love of god, end this eternal misery. Five hundred nagging, incessant pings in your brain, and your man wants sex. We did this last year. Is there no end to my earthly suffering? Why in the hell does he insist on licking my vagina?

If this scenario sounds remotely familiar, I’m speaking to you. This is sex for many women. You’re banging her hard. You’re sweating. You work furiously for an existential two minutes, shoot your load, and collapse beside her. She murmurs something congratulatory and darts into the bathroom to pee and rid her pussy of your love gun load.

Sex is a demand response for many women. They don’t enjoy it, they don’t feel sexy, and they’re not talking about it. But consider this: as she runs to the bathroom to pee, it’s possible she was close to ejaculating without realizing it. Sexual stimulation of the female G-spot in the vagina causes the genital area to swell with fluid, and expelling this fluid through the urethra (not the vagina) is female ejaculation.

If the sex education gods cared, we would know this. If we were taught anything about female sexual anatomy and stimulation response, we could’ve been sex goddesses sometime in our prime. Those women truly blessed by the sex gods experience vaginal orgasm naturally, but for most of us lacking this ability, twisted Puritanical thinking and repressive sexual mores keep us ignorant of even the slightest sexual pleasures.

Fast forward to the female G-Spot, located on the top wall of the vagina below the pubic bone, just one or two inches inside the vaginal opening. To those women seeking to experience vaginal orgasm, it’s imperative to make acquaintance with your “G.” Learn to masturbate and awaken the sensations of this area and you will be navigating toward female ejaculation and vaginal orgasm.

Coming this week is the second installment of my Masturbation Odyssey, this time focusing on the discovery of my very own G-spot: that erogenous pleasure zone that transforms masturbation and sex into orgasm. If you don’t “do” the G-spot, it’s unlikely that you are having vaginal orgasms, unless you are stimulating a deeper spot of the vagina.

Some doubt its existence, some doubt its importance, but to remain indifferent to the G-spot is to have never discovered it. If you take anything away from Sexualista, I hope it’s an animalistic desire to awaken and trigger this elusive spot of the female anatomy. Every woman deserves this sexual pleasure, but some homework of the masturbation kind is required.

Meantime, I’d like to share a few of my posts on Twitter.com as Sexualista1. Twitter affords me an opportunity to post little snippets of what I’m reading or thinking about on any given day. Too many topics to possibly blog about, so tapping out brief tweets keeps the conversation moving. I hope to stand out from the sexpack, rather than wither away like uninspired oral sex. A few of my recent tweets follow:

Chivalrous guys are a modern marvel and hot as hell. It pays to be a damsel in a tight dress.

We are hungry, curious voyeurs of erotica: hence the profitable feed of romance novels, erotic fiction, and porn. We orgasm vicariously.

A confident alpha male will win the girl. Women anticipate satisfying sex with assertive guys and can’t resist their charms.

A full-body vaginal orgasm convulses the entire core of a woman’s body, causing involuntary spasms and constricts the vagina and the anus.

Reports say sexual dissatisfaction ruins nearly half of all marriages and leads to infidelity in 50% of relationships. Join the conversation.

“…people are in denial of their sexual issues, so the first step to overcoming your sexual repression is to admit it…” – Eyal Matsliah

Most people want to please their sexual partners, but you have to show up and speak up about what turns you on.

No two women will define orgasm the same – women explain it according to their experience and cultural conditioning.

There are few things more pleasurable that tracing your clit with a powerful vibrator then squealing and squirting in rapture! Wow!

Seduce her so well that sucking your cock is HER idea. Never shove it in her face unless you’re the sex god who can make her cum. Boorish.

A sexy, seductive woman is a lovely, feminine creature to watch. She is confident, fearless, and moves like a ballet in your soul.

With a cultural perception that sex should be orgasmic, we fear a label of “dysfunctional,” “frigid,” or “broken”.

A silent partner works in the business world, but it’s a turn-off during sex. Subtle moaning is very sensuous and arousing. Make some noise.

Sexperts assume that women are naturally open to orgasmic stimulation. Transition from sexual repression to liberation is a gigantic leap.

Shopping for a vibrator is a no-brainer. Skip the battery-powered toys and splurge on a more powerful rechargeable model. Viva la orgasm!

The excruciating moment when you’re about to orgasm, and your vibrator quits. Buzzkill. Shoot me now.

Achieving orgasm is the last frontier for many women. For anorgasmic women, achieving orgasm is a pivotal experience.

Sex is subjective and only empirical to you. Question everything. Inquire. Explore. Own it.

Now that lesbianism is the hot norm, bicurious sex among straight men is the new chic. Hot topic among the liberati.

As a sexual empowerment coach, I get to know a lot about what’s happening in people’s bedrooms, and in their minds. When I tell people that I’m a sex coach, some of them get uncomfortable, awkward and evasive. These are educated, intelligent, successful and influential people, so why does the prospect of discussing such a natural part of life evoke such reactions?

After doing this work for over a decade, I’ve had some important insights. I’ve recognized that society has a problem with sex, and as human beings, we have become uniformed, repressive and infantile in our attitude towards sex and sexuality.

Take a moment to reflect on how you feel about sex, sexuality, your body, your genitals, and in turn how you feel about other people’s sexuality, bodies, genitals and sexual expressions. Are you holding on to some shame about sex? Are you dealing with any sexual issues? Do you wish you could be more sexually confident, informed and free? I’d be willing to place a bet that you would answer yes to at least one of those questions.

As the saying goes, there is no smoke without fire. If you want to find the root of the problem, you have to look at its symptoms. After the stifling norms of the 40s and 50s, the sexual revolution of the 1960s brought a new freedom of sexual expression, aided by the pill and women’s rights. The freedom of the 60s spilled over into the 70s, but as the 1980s dawned, the spread of AIDS/HIV brought anxiety, demonization of promiscuity and a wave of self-enforced abstention. Today, as a society, we are once again at odds with our sexuality, and not just when it comes to our sexual relationships, but also how sexuality affects the other aspects of our lives.

The sexual revolution was not a world wide phenomena, and even in the West, it only affected a part of the population. Some religious countries and societies are more outwardly sexually oppressive than others, with women being required to cover their bodies or even their faces, and young boys and girls often subjected to genital mutilation. Sadly, women are punished, excommunicated or even executed for acts that are perceived to dishonour the family name. There are stringent rules around sexual behaviour, and sex before marriage is usually strictly prohibited. Virginity and chastity are virtues. It’s easy to look at such beliefs and think: “That’s so primitive. They are so repressed. We are so open minded and advanced”. But are we really?