Well it's finally happened. We're now ready to announce who's going to be on the single. After processing, like, a million votes (or three thousand, whichever comes first) and tallying the individual songs and doing some weirdo data analytical black magic, we had some clear winners. But then it still took a while (I'll explain later).

Firstly, The Residents themselves were truly impressed and overwhelmed by the quality of the submitted songs. Everybody should get a round of applause. Even the voters, because choosing favorites from the entries was really hard.

Here are the runner-ups from the main ballot. You win bragging rights:

Theme For An American TV Show by Palo Alto

Moisture by OK Glass

Smelly Tongues by The Zverstvo

Boo Who? by Cult With No Name

Boo Who? by Lucas Marti

(Note from webmaster goatie: Secretly, "Moisture" by OK Glass is my favorite, so I'm glad to see it get recognized, even if it didn't win. Also: whoa, people really seem to like "Boo Who?" a lot, in any form. Weird.)

And now the runner-ups from the write-in part of the ballot:

Picnic Boy by Dr. Fritz Rotwang

BooWho? (@fivethingspercycle) by Uni

(GoatNote: "Boo Who?" again. I swear, next time we'll just ask people to submit their cover of that one song and decide once and for all which is best.)

All of the runner-ups should stand tall and proud, confident in the knowledge that they are loved, truly loved, by the public at large.

And now the moment you've been waiting for... your I AM A RESIDENT! winners:

Demons Dance Alone by A Vast Fusion of Nice People

Youtube Plays The Beatles Play Beyond The Valley of A Day In The Life by Pure Liquid Light

(GoatNote: A Vast Fusion of Nice People was previously known as The Vast Collective. And part of the delay in this announcement was deciding if the "Youtube Plays..." track would cause some legal trouble. Several law school dropouts were consulted, and in the end it was determined that it falls under artistic license and also shhhhh don't tell anyone.)

Congratulations to the winners, and to everyone who participated (many of whom will still appear on the final album - they're just not going to be singled out in this cheesy awards show manner).