Hardly Working

The Social Butterfly

The Pseudo-Boss

The Cuckoo

The Mini-Me

The Romancer

The Confessor

Mr. / Ms. Unreasonable

Atlas

The Two Cent Contributor

Recently I warned you about bad bosses you don't want to become. This week I thought it was only fair to identify the horrible employees you don't want to hire. Some employees can certainly be amazing, but if you sense one of these in your office, dump them quick or you’ll be sorry.

A little social chat is fine, but the social butterfly is never happy until they have visited absolutely everyone each day. And of course, they always stay to chat for at least 15 - 20 minutes. Soon it's lunch and they haven’t done any actual work. Worse they kept everyone else from getting things done, too.

This person has some solid skills but unfortunately, they wrongly assume authority to tell others what to do. They order team members around, making corrections without concern for implications or company policy. They lay claim to a leadership role they haven’t earned and make demands above their pay grade. They don’t seem to notice when it creates resentment among their peers.

Like the famous bird, this person relies solely on others to bring their projects to fruition. They have an idea or inspiration, get permission to execute from the boss, and then dump all the responsibility in others’ laps. And if something worthwhile actually hatches, of course they are the first one to receive the praise.

This person admires the team leader enormously. Clearly, they hope to fill those shoes one day, and to be every bit as good. So they mimic the boss’s mannerisms, parrot the phrases, and mirror the gestures. While the manager might be a great leader, completely worth emulating, no one thinks it is necessary to have TWO of him or her.

Office romances do happen, but everyone knows they are complicated. Consequently, many proceed with caution when pursuing love among the cubicles. Not this person. For them, work is like a singles bar at 1:00 AM on Friday night. They cause stress and strain on the team with their constant prowling, and when a love connection comes apart, they are the first person to demand empathy and privacy…until next time.

This person thrives on sharing intimate details from personal life, the juicier the better. They want to know everything about your thoughts, feelings, and secrets. Or they want to tell you ALL of theirs. While they may not always blab the details to others, their insistence on sharing confidences crosses a line.

This person sees inefficiency or corruption around every corner. They believe they are the only one truly competent to get things done, so they frequently act on their own authority, without involving or getting buy in from anyone else, especially management. They become angry, resentful, or accusatory if their decisions are challenged,even if the result has been negative.

The weight of the world is on this person’s shoulders. No one works harder or faces greater difficulty than them. Everyone knows this, because this person lets them know, constantly. They spend a great deal of time complaining about the obstacles they encounter, the incompetence of others around them, and the difficulty of their daily responsibilities. No burden is heavier than the one they shoulder. And of course, no one else can help.

When someone says, “Well, here’s my two cents,” we all know that what follows probably won’t be worth much more. No matter the topic of discussion, this person has to contribute regardless of relevancy. They don’t have the discernment to stay quiet when they know their observations aren’t helpful. They just want to be heard.

Like this post? If so sign up here and never miss out on Kevin’s thoughts and humor.