You: Like my male reproductive organ in a steaming pile of giraffe droppings, fresh from the morning dew.

Stranger: I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH

You: DOES THAT MEAN YOU’LL HAVE HOT POOP SEX WITH ME NOW

Stranger: YES

You: AWESOME I LOVE IT WHEN YOU **** ON MY male reproductive organ AND THEN PUKE ALL OVER IT AND THEN LICK IT ALL OFF.

You: Only if you share though!

You: I hate people who don’t share.

You: That stuff is tasty.

Stranger: But of course!

You: Awesome.

You: We’re on, then.

You: ...Except wait.

You: You’re okay licking the **** out of my tangled greasy bumhair and then puking it all over my chest, right?

You: I mean, that’s an important one.

You: Learned that from MC Banhammer – the man himself.

Stranger: Yes. Very ok with it.

You: That is SO INDESCRIBABLY HOT

You: Almost as hot as Fran’s fat rolls.

Stranger: alliteration

You: But you’re 12 years old, so I can excuse you not having fat rolls.

You: And precocious!

Stranger: =D

You: What a darling child OMG WANNA SHOVE MY male reproductive organ UP YOUR bum UNTIL IT TEARS THROUGH YOUR INTESTINES COATING ITSELF WITH **** AND MUCUS AND THEN BURSTS UP YOUR THROAT MAKING YOU VOMIT IT OUT YOUR MOUTH.

I’d actually go for the Tonsil Regeneration for the surgery. With the tumorous kidney alone, there’s no way a level-capped troll is going to use up all of their dbaggery before they finish a forum, and every point of ego that you can afford to respec into offense helps.

edit: I should probably post my items/stats, actually:

2051 ego

610 dbaggery

149 offense

143 defense

fetish: Tumorous Kidney

glbumes: Versnatche Earbleeders

doc file: Notorious B.I.G. (don’t have an INCIT yet, not sure if I’d use it if I did – +145 ego might actually be worth -1 offense, and defense buffs are more or less negligible at this point)