Made to feel bad for not wanting to leave lo

Is there anyone on here that has experienced a similar thing to this? I don't like to leave my lo there have been a couple of people we have left him with for a short time. I get so nervous and I'm not comfortable doing it. MIL (mother-in-law) has made me feel so so bad because she hasn't been asked to babysit yet, I don't go out to need a babysitter in the first place but she can't seem to understand that we don't want to palm him off all the time. She has had a go at us because she hasn't had alone time such as overnight stays with him. I know many will think that this is me being too obsessive maybe? But just wondering if there are any of you out there that do feel the same as I do. I now feel forced to leave my baby when I really don't feel comfortable in doing so. I understand that she wants to bond with him, however she has always been welcome round our house, she chooses not to as she wants him alone. Just getting me down a bit. X

Comments (35)

Hey its ur baby...and if u dont want to leave him then nobody can force u to do what u dont feel comfortable in doing....if she cant come to urs then obviously she cant be that interested in making the effort 😞

I hate leaving my lb but understand that mil (mother-in-law) needs time on her own without me watching or hovering round. I feed and change him and drop him off for 2 hours max. It's just long enough for her to have some alone time but keeps me from being anxious. Maybe just start with little short visits. You could pop out to the shop and leave lo for a just a short time or invite her to take lo out for a walk if you have chores to do. This keeps time away limited ( people can't walk fot that long...lol) and makes mil (mother-in-law) feel helpful and needed. Whatever you feel comfortable with though. ☺

Not a bad idea finally, thank you. Had she approached us nicely about it, it may make it easier for me to do that but now I feel stubborn ha and like she's pushed me away a bit if you understand. I guess I'll have to get over it and let her take him. Just annoying how she went about it and made me feel. X

Not a bad idea finally, thank you. Had she approached us nicely about it, it may make it easier for me to do that but now I feel stubborn ha and like she's pushed me away a bit if you understand. I guess I'll have to get over it and let her take him. Just annoying how she went about it and made me feel. X

Not a bad idea finally, thank you. Had she approached us nicely about it, it may make it easier for me to do that but now I feel stubborn ha and like she's pushed me away a bit if you understand. I guess I'll have to get over it and let her take him. Just annoying how she went about it and made me feel. X

Our babies are so wee yet 😕 I haven't left mine for more than a few hours during the day as she feeds too much st night but I also don't want to leave her yet. There's plenty time for that. If I were honest there's no way I'd be leaving her overnight and if I was it would need to be in our house. It's horses for courses and no one can tell you you're wrong. If she wants to bond more can you ask her to spend more time during the day?

I know exactly how you feel. We had a falling out with my oh's brother and sil when lo was newborn as apparently we didn't invite them round quick enough after he was born (never mind that I'd had a seriously traumatic labour and was trying to adjust to life with a baby and establish breastfeeding etc) and were apparently being selfish by not letting them bond with him!! We haven't spoken to them since but they're always bitching to my mil (mother-in-law) about us and apparently it's 'shocking' that I've only been away from him for a few hours on two evenings since he was born (one of which my mum watched him and the other my oh) and unfair that I won't let him be babysat overnight so mil (mother-in-law) and they can spend time with him.

As far as I'm concerned it's tough, my baby, I'll do what I like. I didn't have a baby to please them. There will be plenty of time for sleepovers and babysitting in the years to come, I'm not ready to be spending lots of time away from him yet and that's that. Stay strong mama, you don't have to answer to anyone when it comes to raising your own kids.

your baby, your decisions. I know my parents love it when they get lb to themselves (and I enjoy going to the hairdressers, or shopping and actually taking time!) and I get that - it is nice to have all the cuddles and not worry about trading on people's toes, but I'm comfortable with that. They make a 3hr round trip every week so deserve the time! At some point your little one will prob love staying with nan, but fir now they want you, and you want to be there if they do. Completely understandable x

It was my birthday in December and mil (mother-in-law) asked me what I was doing and I said I would go for a meal with the baby. She was horrified and I got the comment (through the baby) of 'if you were on a bottle you could stay here the night'. Erm no he wouldn't! Like yours she doesn't make the effort to see him but wants him overnight 🙄

Anyhoo, all mums are different. Some like and need time away and some don't. If you're not happy do not let anyone bully you into leaving your baby with them. There's plenty of time for that in the future, they're still so little.

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