Bullying has to stop

Published: Thursday, November 7, 2013 at 12:30 a.m.

Last Modified: Wednesday, November 6, 2013 at 10:02 p.m.

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.

Bull.

I'm not sure how that saying got started it, or who started it, but it is one of the most untrue cliches of all time. Words do hurt and, in a world where we find out just about everything shortly after it happens, bullying has taken a front seat.

Teenagers are the most common targets of bullying. Their peers pick on them for anything and everything. They look different. They look like everyone else. They're tall. They're short. They're ugly. They're Barbie-like. Doesn't matter.

And for teens, who are living their entire lives wrapped up in the moment, without the ability to see into the future and know everything is going to be OK, the burden of being bullied can sometimes be too heavy to bear. They may reach out to someone — a friend, a parent, a teacher at school. They may post a video online, or update their status daily with the things they've been subjected to.

Occasionally, they can't take it any more. They may do what the two teens did in Columbine, and try to take as many lives as possible. I guess they figure, if people can ruin their lives, they need to ruin as many lives as they can.

Or, they may kill themselves. Rebecca Sedwick was 12 years old, and seemed to be living a typical 12-year-old's life. Then she started dating the wrong boy, and that altered her life forever. His ex-girlfriend didn't like it, so she rallied the troops and they began to torture the girl. After a fight, in an attempt to make it stop, Rebecca's parents moved her to a different school. It didn't stop. Eventually, she climbed to the top of a tower and jumped to her death. She was 12 years old. Twelve.

Jordan Lewis was 15, and played football at Carterville High School. He was bullied at school and, one day after seeing a video at school about children who have committed suicide, put a shotgun to his chest and took his own life. Hours later his father, Brad Lewis, posted a video on Facebook pleading for bullies to stop.

But bullying doesn't stop in high school. Last week, Miami Dolphins tackle Jonathan Martin left the team with what he called emotional issues. After a few days of digging, sources report that Martin was the subject of severe bullying at the hands of some teammates. Fellow lineman Richie Incognito is considered the ring leader of the bullying against Martin, who is in his second year in the NFL. According to reports, Incognito used racial slurs repeatedly when addressing Martin, who is biracial. He also demanded Martin pay $15,000 to finance a trip some team members were taking, even though Martin himself didn't want to go.

Hopefully, Martin will get the help he needs. Hopefully, this will open some people's eyes to what goes on around them.

It's time for all of us to stand up to stop bullying. Talk to your children about it; they may be the bully, they may be the ones getting bullied. Either way, they need adults to help them through it.

Life is incredibly hard for middle school and high school children. Their bodies are changing, their hormones are raging, and children are cruel. Very cruel. They will pick on someone just to get a laugh out of their friends, never giving any thought to the damage they may be doing to their target.

But the victim of their bullying, if he/she is not incredibly strong emotionally. Most children aren't. And they're scared and embarrassed, so they don't want to ask for help.

Please, talk to your children about bullying, no matter which side of the coin they fall on. We all need to realize the importance of being nice to one another.

Jason Queen can be reached at 249-3981, ext. 220, or jason.queen@the-dispatch.com.

<p>Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.</p><p>Bull.</p><p>I'm not sure how that saying got started it, or who started it, but it is one of the most untrue cliches of all time. Words do hurt and, in a world where we find out just about everything shortly after it happens, bullying has taken a front seat.</p><p>Teenagers are the most common targets of bullying. Their peers pick on them for anything and everything. They look different. They look like everyone else. They're tall. They're short. They're ugly. They're Barbie-like. Doesn't matter.</p><p>And for teens, who are living their entire lives wrapped up in the moment, without the ability to see into the future and know everything is going to be OK, the burden of being bullied can sometimes be too heavy to bear. They may reach out to someone — a friend, a parent, a teacher at school. They may post a video online, or update their status daily with the things they've been subjected to.</p><p>Occasionally, they can't take it any more. They may do what the two teens did in Columbine, and try to take as many lives as possible. I guess they figure, if people can ruin their lives, they need to ruin as many lives as they can.</p><p>Or, they may kill themselves. Rebecca Sedwick was 12 years old, and seemed to be living a typical 12-year-old's life. Then she started dating the wrong boy, and that altered her life forever. His ex-girlfriend didn't like it, so she rallied the troops and they began to torture the girl. After a fight, in an attempt to make it stop, Rebecca's parents moved her to a different school. It didn't stop. Eventually, she climbed to the top of a tower and jumped to her death. She was 12 years old. Twelve.</p><p>Jordan Lewis was 15, and played football at Carterville High School. He was bullied at school and, one day after seeing a video at school about children who have committed suicide, put a shotgun to his chest and took his own life. Hours later his father, Brad Lewis, posted a video on Facebook pleading for bullies to stop.</p><p>But bullying doesn't stop in high school. Last week, Miami Dolphins tackle Jonathan Martin left the team with what he called emotional issues. After a few days of digging, sources report that Martin was the subject of severe bullying at the hands of some teammates. Fellow lineman Richie Incognito is considered the ring leader of the bullying against Martin, who is in his second year in the NFL. According to reports, Incognito used racial slurs repeatedly when addressing Martin, who is biracial. He also demanded Martin pay $15,000 to finance a trip some team members were taking, even though Martin himself didn't want to go.</p><p>Hopefully, Martin will get the help he needs. Hopefully, this will open some people's eyes to what goes on around them.</p><p>It's time for all of us to stand up to stop bullying. Talk to your children about it; they may be the bully, they may be the ones getting bullied. Either way, they need adults to help them through it.</p><p>Life is incredibly hard for middle school and high school children. Their bodies are changing, their hormones are raging, and children are cruel. Very cruel. They will pick on someone just to get a laugh out of their friends, never giving any thought to the damage they may be doing to their target.</p><p>But the victim of their bullying, if he/she is not incredibly strong emotionally. Most children aren't. And they're scared and embarrassed, so they don't want to ask for help.</p><p>Please, talk to your children about bullying, no matter which side of the coin they fall on. We all need to realize the importance of being nice to one another.</p><p>Jason Queen can be reached at 249-3981, ext. 220, or jason.queen@the-dispatch.com.</p>