Take my advice…I don’t use it anyway. Part 58

WHEN YOU BID ON THINGS ON EBAY, YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ENOUGH CASH MONIES IF YOU WIN – It’s not pretend.

YOU WERE NEVER AS FAT AS YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE – And you will never be as thin as you are now.

IF HE ONLY RINGS YOU PAST MIDNIGHT IT MEANS HE IS ONLY IN IT FOR THE NOOKIE – Don’t even answer the damn phone. Unless of course, you are only in it for the sex too.

CHEATERS USUALLY TAKE THEIR PHONES WITH THEM TO THE SHOWER – They also send text messages in the wee hours and start sleeping with it under their pillow. Yup, chances of homeboy dipping it elsewhere are highly likely petal. Pack him up and send him gift wrapped to the whore.

DON’T COMPLAIN IN RESTAURANTS – Are you fucking crazy? Did you want them to rub your burger between their ass in the kitchen? They totally do it, ’cause lets be honest, WE would do it. If it’s edible, it means its not that bad, if its not…just don’t eat it and walk out. I ain’t funny with food man, but I don’t want no saliva in my pesto.

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE AN APPLE MAC, IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE SOME SUPERIOR BEING – Same goes for Iphones. FUCK I am so OVER the Iphone talk! It couldn’t even send picture messages until yesterday or something!

IF YOUR STATUS UPDATES ON FACEBOOK ARE ALWAYS ABOUT FOOD, IT PROLLY MEANS YOU IS GETTING A FAT ASS – Ive seen this happen.