Now this is livin'! I can't tell you how many times a trip to Starbucks to take a leak has ruined a great day at Union Square. I've lost a prime spot on the steps, time with friends, even missed out on some great photo opportunities just because I'm not a free enough spirit to just go where ever I am.

Photo by Normal Bob

I envy these people. You know? A free bird flyin' on the wings of an eagle. Living life to it's fullest with no inhibitions, insecurities, or even shame for that matter!

Each one of us all have something to teach somebody else in this life, and today I've learned something from this man. Take life by the moment, and go for it! Don't let others tell you what's appropriate and what's not. Live life your way or no way at all!

Photo by Venessa Nina

So by now you're probably getting a pretty good idea as to what it means to be a "Somebody" at Union Square.

It's the trick of somehow capturing an unbridled fashion statement of not caring anymore, twisting it into the blank unknowing stare of a victim, then pretending that it's all just as you planned it. Nothing got by you. This is what you meant to do and precisely what you planned on becoming since you were 4 years old.

That's all it is. If you can get that down then you're more than halfway there. More than halfway to being one of the beautiful people at Union Square Village.

Photo by Normal Bob

All right, the hipster thing is really starting to reveal its own weak spots now. It seems to have officially crossed over into self-conscious-clone-land, and it's losing altitude fast.

These two wondered out of the safe haven of the Lower East Side through Union Square like they knew they were finished. They're bunnies scurrying from Soho to Bedford hunted by Gravers who want to hack off their feet and wear them off their UFOs for good luck.

Just try and tell me you don't see exactly what I'm seein' behind those glasses.

Photo by Normal Bob

And sadly, another sign that the hipster movement is coming to a pathetic, embarrassing end is the girls that it attracts. If you were wondering, this is the sort of pussy those two guys are scorin'. And worse yet, remember that hackysacker guy with the shorts pulled up too far? [top right] Well, he came to Union with a boombox blastin' Brittany Spears' "Slave," and the girl on the right lip synced every word and did the Harlem Shake while sitting there on the steps, to show everyone at the park that she was part of the scene. That "hipster scene." Yeah. So there ya go.

Photo by Normal Bob

Those tourists not givin' you their dollars like you want 'em to? Having trouble coaxing it out of their greedy, selfish pockets? Have you tried The Stare? The Stare is a hypnotic trance that supposed to intimidate the riches right out of their wallets. Do it long enough and they'll even give you their $800 camera! It works like a charm! ...unless they have the option of getting up and walking away. And that's what they do every time, so nevermind about The Stare. It's not all they say it is.

Photo by Normal Bob

I mean, there's gotta be at least one girl out there with a boot fetish that finds this totally hot, right?

Okay sure, maybe the Canadian tuxedo isn't usually part of the fantasy, and a Canadian tux with the baggy, layered look on the top and fucking skin-tight painted-on pants below is really pushin' it. But there's gotta be at least one girl out there who digs this. Right?

Photo by Normal Bob

Ladies and gentlemen, the happiest guy in the world. A realization of the ultimate pleasure. The ecstasy of complete and utter release beyond anything you've ever imagined. A successful return to the womb. The closest thing to crawling back into mommy and regressing back into that tiniest human life form that was once you. The only place where dreams always come true when you're on the streets of Manhattan.

Photo by Normal Bob

Having trouble meeting people? Meeting chicks? Well the solution has been discovered, and it's so basic you'll punch yourself in the teeth for not coming up with it before this guy did.

Simply set up a table, put up a Connect 4 all ready to play, and offer to pay anyone a dollar who can beat you, and they have to pay you a dollar if you beat them. It works. No kiddin'. He got the most business in the park, and the best lookin' girls too. Clever bastard!

Movie by Normal Bob

Roc Rocket went and outdid himself yet again! Not only did he get chili pepper sideburn tattoos but he also added a new stunt to his show. You have to see him put his fingers in this animal trap. You know, the traps trappers use to kill bunnies and beavers?

And at the end of the clip that's me pulling on the chain, and I promise you this, there was no way in fuck that trap could have been pulled off his fingers without tearing 'em right off.