Despite the fact that a New York City court refused Kesha’s request for a preliminary injunction against Dr. Luke, the singer declared her intentions to stick to her claims that the Sony music producer sexually abused her for years—all the while stating that she was offered her “freedom” if she walked away from her efforts to publicly discuss her ordeal.

In a message posted to the performer’s Instagram on April 3, Kesha stated that she was offered said deal “behind closed doors.”

“I got offered my freedom IF i were to lie. I would have to APOLOGIZE publicly and say that I never got raped. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS behind closed doors. I will not take back the TRUTH. I would rather let the truth ruin my career than lie for a monster ever again.”

While Kesha never specified what this “freedom” entailed for issuing a (presumably false) official apology, it would be feasible to relate it to her months-long battle with both Dr. Luke (real name: Lukaz Gottwald) and Sony Entertainment over her contract, which currently bars the performer from recording and releasing music with another company.

“Kesha is already ‘free’ to record and release music without working with Dr. Luke as a producer if she doesn’t want to,” said Lepera. “Any claim that she isn’t ‘free’ is a myth.”

This isn’t the first time stories involving backroom deals regarding both Sony and Dr. Luke have been reported: in March, Kelly Clarkson went on record during an interview with an Australian radio station that she was “blackmailed by [her] label” to work with the producer.