The Funk, do you ever get it? Not the James Brown kind of good Funk, but the Funk mood, that depressive state that pretty much makes it impossible to really accomplish anything. Do you ever get that? Well I do, and I had it bad last year. Yep, pretty much the whole year. I'm not going to say I was full blown depressed, I just had a Funk I couldn't shake and as soon as I was rid of it, it came back full force. I can honestly say that social media makes this Funk way worse, the constant, "Am I good enough?" "Am I accomplishing enough?" "What do I want from life?" Followed by the thoughts of, "Why do I feel this way, I am very blessed, have a great husband, great kids, all that I need and more. What is wrong with me?" Ughhh....just keeping it real folks.So why am I bringing up the Funk? New Years, the reflection and goals that go along with it. Yuck. The week after Christmas I was all good, happy thoughts and positivity. Then New Years Eve happened. Oh good grief, now I have to think about how I didn't meet my goals, didn't accomplish 2% of what I wanted to, overall failure. Is this the truth? Not really. I made a ton of stuff last year, I raised my two children, I kept up a house. But why the feeling of failure. I hate it, I don't want to feel that way, but I just can't help it. Then my husband asked my what my goals or dreams were for the New Year. Stressful that question is. Do I really want to set myself up for failure again? I started listing all the things I wanted to accomplish this year, and the list was INSANE. Like 10 years worth of projects and goals. Why do I do this to myself. I'm not Super Woman and I don't want to be.Here is an example. Last year at this time, I blogged about my goals for the year, the long list of works in progress and how this was going to be the year of getting them all done. You can see the mosaic below. 15 quilts. 15 quilts in one year, most of them just blocks, by that math I would have to finish a quilt every 24 days. That is IMPOSSIBLE for me. Why did I set that goal? Optimism is one thing, but this is something else.

What was the reality? The four quilts below and technically the one in the bottom left is just basted, not yet quilted. The one on the bottom right is finished, but I have yet to photograph it. So in all honesty I only "finished" 2 of the 15.

So what went awry? What happened? I know that I sewed a lot, made a ton of things, but why only four finishes from that original list? Distractions, boredom, impatience, maybe a touch of ADD? Yes, that is it, it has to be, oh and the Funk. Proof? Look at the mosaic below. These nine quilts were started in 2013. I finished four of them, but only blogged about two of those. The other five are still waiting to be finished. So yes, I accomplished a lot in 2013, and let us not even mention the tons and tons of little projects that were started and finished too. Great, I accomplished a lot, but the problem is that now I have 17 unfinished quilts. More than the start of last year, uh oh I'm drowning. Let me do the math, 365 days, 17 quilts, now I have 21 days for each one. It is simply not possible, for me at least. So what now?

Here is the dilemma I have been pondering for the past three days, while I stew in the Funk and wallow in it. When you step back from "the problem" it is easy to see that it really isn't a problem at all, but I still couldn't shake the Funk. I spent the majority of today laying around in my pajamas and being lazy. Well that certainly wasn't helping the situation at all. So instead of being a total loaf, I decided to try and catch up on some of my Sunday newspapers that were laying around collecting dust. While reading I came across the Dear Abby (Jeanne Phillips) article that was published on New Year's Day. She wanted to share her most requested list of New Year's resolutions that were adapted by her mother (Pauline Phillips) from the original credo of Al-Anon. Wow it struck such a powerful cord with me and the Funk was lifted. If you don't mind I'll post a bit of it here, because it was much longer:Just for today: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.Just for today: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.Just for today: I will accept what is. I will face reality. i will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.Just for today: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.It was just what I needed today, a little message from God (and Dear Abby) to set me right on my path again. Does this mean that I won't set any goals this year? No, just realistic ones. I hope you join me on my journey and for those of you who don't have a perfect list of finished projects and accomplishments, I hope this helps you to realize that it doesn't have to be perfect, life is messy and you only have to live one day at a time.Happy New Year!

I think the problem is that at the start of the year we happily list our projects as goals without thinking through the consequences at the time (eg a quilt every 24 days). We imagine that we will be free to sew whenever we please without any interruption. In our reverie, no-one will demand that we do anything else, we'll never go on holiday, we'll not spend time with anyone else, we'll just sew. And then reality comes along as a bit of a blow.

I have also had several occasions of funk this year, in December especially. I had free time, I had only 2 projects to get done all month, and yet I kept putting them off. I never normally sit on the sofa and flip through a magazine, or watch TV, and yet I found myself doing so to avoid sewing, it was mad!

I hope you have a better year this year, taking each day as it comes :)

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Tracy Hudson

1/3/2014 03:23:46 am

I truly do not know how you do all that you do! I am amazed! I received a triple zip bag from a swap earlier this year from you, my first swap, and I know you do many, along with so much sewing and blogging and family life and business and so much else that isn't written about that takes up your time, that you live, you put your energy into. I look at what I try to get done in the area of sewing/quilting and I I get a couple of quilts finished, I don't know how you finish one or more a month! I know we aren't to compare to each other, and I really don't, I'm happy with what I do, I'm reeally truly amazed and inspired by you! I thank you for sharing with us your heart all the time, the ups and downs. You encourage me. I think you are awesome! Sometimes we need the breaks, those funks give us. You'll get that groove back! Happy New Year!

So sorry for the Funk. It seems to visit each of us in turn. Hoping for plenty of joy for you in the new year - in creating, AND in just letting each day hold what it will. Bless you, friend.

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Flying Blind

1/3/2014 05:54:02 am

Oh my friend! I think we should all be happy with what we achieve, whether it is a lot or a little - it is meant to be fun. I hid half my stash and boxes of sewing things in our bedroom over Christmas, as I sew in the conservatory that is actually our kitchen-diner; I pulled it all out today and realised just what a total crazy obsession had taken over! I think I have 'finishitis' (that looks wore than it sounds!) - I cannot stand having things unfinished and will make myself miserable to get things done before starting something I would rather be doing - which is ridiculous, especially as, apart from Bee blocks, they are all self-imposed deadlines!
Lovely wise words you found there - we should all take note xxx

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Anita

1/3/2014 06:45:24 am

Thank you for sharing I can totally identify with your feeling of being in a funk. I've had the funk periods, I just don't know how to be happy all of the time and to appreciate all that I have.

Wise words, and I'm glad they made you feel better. In a way, I can relate. Last year, I hosted a challenge called "2013: The Year of the Finished Project". Every month but one I had to write reasons why I hadn't reached my goals. Sometimes it was simply that I just couldn't be bothered with the projects on my list although I never actually said that -- there were always other obstacles to my productivity!

This year, I've been a little kinder to myself. My new linky party is called "Something Old, Something New". All I require of myself is to work on one "old" project; but not necessarily finish it, although a finish would be good. I define "old" as any project I haven't worked on for at least three months because all those projects were started more than twelve months ago! For me, "new" is a new technique. I'm retired and I have the time to learn new things but other people who are joining the challenge have defined "new" for themselves as a new project -- I don't mind either way!

I wish you all the very best for 2014 -- May the only funk you see be the good kind!

Bummer about the funk! I personally am a fan of "flexible" or "sliding" goals - stuff like "I will finish more projects than I start" or "I will finish one quilt for every X yards of fabric I buy." Basically the idea is that you're focusing on what actually makes you feel guilty (ie, having the huge to-do list) as opposed to on some number that objectively sounds good, but doesn't take into account sick kids, surprise visits, running out of thread in the middle of the night, etc. These goals are nice because you have control at both ends (you can always not buy fabric if you've been too busy, or make a point of finishing something before you start something else) and even if you have a banner year and get a lot done, you don't feel pressure to "up" the goal next year and sour your good fortune.

Hi Marci,
I'm sorry to hear about your funk! But you have really little kids, and I think that whatever you do manage to accomplish is miraculous! It is hard to look at all of the sewing in progress, though, and wonder when it will ever be finished. And I always have so many ideas of things I want to make -- but never enough time. I want you to know that I love your blog, and I love reading what you share. Have fun sewing this year!

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Carol

1/26/2014 07:13:08 pm

Hi! I'm visiting from Sew Mama Sew, and I have to tell you, your One-Block Wonder quilt is just awesome! Re: the Funk -- oh, dear, I'm so sorry -- I know exactly what you mean. I usually get it right after xmas, when I can slow down, finally. Maybe it's exhaustion? But then it DOES NOT GO AWAY. I don't think it has anything to do with quilting -- goals or no goals (tho' I will say that the internet does not help, with all the great things "everyone" is doing and the pressure (even self-imposed) to join in. I do better at my projects on my own and at my own pace). I've had this funk-thing every year since when I was a kid: great grades until xmas, then crash! by the time grades came out in Feb., mine were in the toilet. I have no words of wisdom to offer except that whipping myself does no good. I have to take the pressure away to finally feel better. This New Year's, I've made NO GOALS except to keep my head above water. So far, not too much funk. Major sewing room cleaning/reorg, and now I am longing to sew. But jeez -- I would hate to conclude that housecleaning is the answer to anything!

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Marci Girl

A feisty mom designing, sewing and blogging her way through everyday life!