The Glamorous Horror of Covering a Premiere

Going to a gala movie premiere as a journalist can be an even worse chore than actually sitting through the movie.

If you're lucky enough to get a spot on the red carpet, you're pushed and jostled by barbarians from obscure media outlets like shamelessstalker.net and totalmoron.org, who are desperate to get soundbites like "This prequel was a labor of love" from people best known as supporting voiceovers on Adult Swim.

I avoid all that, preferring to look for bites at the after party, when the stars are a little looser (i.e., tipsy) and more interesting.

Alas, some of them refuse to speak to press once the movie's over. They've already done all that before the screening started, and now they just want to relax, get smashed to the titties, and plan their next career move.