Fight or Flight. You’ve probably heard this expression countless times. However, there’s more to our defensive responses than we previously believed. There’s actually four ways that we respond to situations that we perceive as harmful: Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn.

In Marie’s book, tidying up refers to applying a set of principles to de-clutter your home. However, in this two-part blog series we’re going to talk tidying up your life (Part 1) and your relationships (Part 2) by applying principles based upon Marie’s method.

In the winter, people are often more drawn to staying in and staying cozy--replacing late nights with a turn inwards. Beyond hygge, winter also often brings the blues. The sun is setting earlier and the air is biting cold. On a physiological level, our bodies are struggling with the lack of daylight. On an emotional level, you may not be feeling quite yourself. February has the echoes of family pressure from the holidays, along with cycles of frustration brought on by New Year’s resolutions. We find ourselves in need of balance and care.

When our life circumstances change, our friends often change with them. Cross-country moves introduce us to new social groups; coupledom expands our inner circles; and parenthood fosters additional bonds. Gone are the days when our closest confidants were just a short drive away. Now, get-togethers are planned months in advance and frequent flier miles are racked up with regularity.

But what about being a good friend to ourselves? We put heart and soul into our sisterhoods (and brotherhoods!) but can forget that it starts with being kind to the fresh face we greet in the mirror each morning.

Self-compassion or treating yourself with the same kindness as you would a close friend, can radically change the way you relate to yourself. Check out these 12 tips for doling out some serious self-love.

This series of check-in questions is designed to help you invite structure, flow, play and secure connection into 2019. After the rush of the Holiday season is almost over, but before you ring in the near year, we hope that you can create a holding space for one another. Just being together and enjoying each other is great, but once again Space Between Counseling Services has an invitation for you that will help make your relationship stronger in the year to come.

“Secure Functioning” is being in a relationship that is fully collaborative, fully mutual, + based on justice, fairness, and sensitivity.

— Dr. Stan Tatkin

Perhaps you completed the Coupleship Year in Review around this time last year. Hopefully it provided you with the opportunity to reflect on your relationship, togetherness and growth both as individuals and a couple during 2017. This year the Space Between Counseling Services team has re-invented the review. You may notice some similar questions, as well as some new ones during this year’s review.

Why would you and your partner want to do a “Year In Review”? This series of check in questions is designed to help you two invite structure, flow, play and connection into 2018.

After the wrapping paper is cleared away, but before you pull out the new year's noisemakers, I hope that you can make time for each other. Just being together and enjoying each other is great, but I have an invitation for you that will help make you stronger in the year to come...

In this space between the holidays as one year ends and another begins, I'd love to know that you’re strengthening your "coupleship bubble." Maybe you want to think of it as creating your own private snow globe where you sit together in the swirl of your past and present and plan out your future.