Flustered

I had intended to update to get that morose piece of misery off the top of the page, but uh, there’s nothing really changing on that front. So in lieu of a comprehensible narrative, some bullet points:

My sister is in India for a month. She got off work today and was told to stay behind the hotel’s guarded walled courtyard today, but it seems to be peaceful. She and her coworkers are experiencing a weird kind of depression as it hits them that they are really in a foreign land and the world is a scary place. I am trying not to be blase about it but I think US politics would be a little more sane if more people had the perspective that traveling abroad gives one.

After a summer of having no time/ability to do any aggressive housework whatsoever, I’ve been definitely making up for lost time now that fall has turned. Two weekends ago, I tore up the back flowerbed and once again decried war against the Evil Rosebush. Yes, long time readers of the blog will remember that I thought I killed that thing at least two times before, but it was back once again. This time, we dug a foot down to get to the root system and were disturbed to find that it was a bit like a carrot in that there were root balls as big as a dog down there. And the more disturbing thing is that we broke off the tap root at the two feet under mark, and it was still as thick as an infant’s forearm. I’m pretty sure that it’s growing out of the rotted heart of a murder victim, buried in my back garden by a previous owner. That’s the only explanation for the evil. We gave up, by the way, and filled the hole back in. It may take two years for it to grow back up to the surface, but at that point, maybe we’ll have sold the house and it will be someone else’s problem. This is why Future Wendy really can’t stand Now Wendy and thinks she’s an asshole.

Additionally, I decided that I didn’t want to stare at the chipping paint around the trim on the potting shed yet another winter, so I went shit ape with the scrapers and the wire brushes and then a sandpaper wheel on a drill (FUCKING LOVE POWER TOOLS) and then painted and primed and locked that shit up nice and tight. Apparently the presence of power tools turns me into a construction worker, but I do not care. Esteban went into detail OCD mode and spent the better part of the day picking chipped glaze out of the windows. We still have to reglaze those windows and paint/prime but then that will be done.

I’m entertaining ideas of buying one of those newer fancier poly-something garden sheds that they have at the Hundred Dollar Store and Lowe’s for our garden/maintenance implements and then turning my adorable little potting shed into a guest retreat, because it would be CUTE AS HELL once you painted the inside. As such, I have plans to put the windows in so that they are on hinges and can swing inward, allowing for gorgeous night breezes to waft over you. I’m probably on drugs, though. With my luck, it will be a mice-infested airless torture chamber. But a cute torture chamber, anyway!

We’ll probably sell the house before that happens. I’m perfectly aware that I’m on some fantastic home improvement drug-induced fantasy. But Gene Hackman tells me that I can do it, and they can help!

I have taught my dog to play dead when I make finger guns and say BANG! It is pretty much the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, especially when she sits there with her wall-eyes open because she doesn’t want to miss the resulting treat payment.

I sold my first photo on my Etsy store. Oh yeah! I have an Etsy store now! I basically make about two dollars on every sale with the professional lab printing that I’m using and their minimums but still! It’s very cool that someone bought something and I don’t even know the person so it wasn’t a pity buy! It’s one of the few things that is keeping me happy this week.

Did I mention that I’m planning another Weetacon? Registration will open on November 1. It’s going to be amazing this year, with lots of amazing activities and opportunities to help the less fortunate (by getting awesome eats, hot beefcake calendars, raffle items and food porn, as well as the potential for actual porn. Our theme for Weetacon VII is The Seven Deadly Sins, which we should be exploring in depth as we try to amend our wicked ways and follow the path to righteousness. And porn.)

You know what else happens in November? We start planning for the Holiday Card Exchange. Yup, I’m doing it again this year. Stay tuned to this space for more details in the upcoming weeks, but if you’re interested, start getting excited right now!

I’m going to two Stars concerts in the next ten weeks and meeting the band BOTH TIMES. Well, I’ve already met Torq. I know, right? I KNOW!

The comments want to know what you’re going to be for Halloween (Obviously, I’m going as a Jack-o-lantern).

5 Comments

Bwahaha. Past Lorna thought Future Lorna would sell her house too and didn’t buy the dual-fuel range Future Lorna wanted. So today, Now Lorna *knows* Past Lorna was an asshole. And also, that it’s easy to plan to move, hard to actually do because shit happens.

Weet — I have been reading you for YEARS (maybe you recognize the e-mail, maybe not!) and often consider coming to Weetacon. Maybe someday it will actually happen. Now that I see that you love Stars, it only amplifies my need to join in! And I can’t believe you’ve met him! Fortunately, I live in NYC and they come here every other year or so … but still! you met him! Eep! They do put on a darn good show, though, don’t they?

the next time the evil rosebush resurrects itself, dig out what you can, fill the hole with salt and put bricks on top of the mess before adding more soil. if this doesn’t work, contact a hired assassin!

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