I am so sorry 2 have 2 put this here, this place really needs an agony aunt section, lol!

Just before Christmas i experienced a missed miscarriage. I didn't know i was pregnant, i experienced heavy bleeding for 2 wks, clots, sickness etc, generally not nice symptoms. I went to the Gp who gave me some tablets and was sent home to let nature take its cause. I have not had a period for 7 years so i knew something was wrong, i only bleed when i am pregnant.

I found this extremely upsetting, i got no support and i was very confused and hopeful that the baby was still there. With all of my children i have hemorrhaged throughout the pregnancy but still had healthy boys. I was not offered a scan and it still upsets me now but apparently its the procedure they follow.

This was in dec and i have been bleeding since, perhaps a wk or 2 break in between. For the past 2 wks i have been bleeding very heavy, generally not feeling well, weak, feeling sick. Been to the doctors on a number of occasions, just told my hormones are still settling. On sat i was having contractions and "gushes of blood" my thought was another miscarriage but its almost impossible as we use protection.

I went bk to the doctors again yesterday, the gp thinks i have retained the baby i am devastated and to make it worse he tells me a scan will take a month or two to determine this. Needless to say i have payed privately for a scan and i am due to have it tomorrow. Been sent away with more pain relief and more tablets whilst potentially carrying my unborn child who died in my womb nearly 4 months ago!? Surely this isn't right, how cruel. How can they expect me to wait 2 months!?

I am worried what i will find tomorrow

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Thanks for listening, my husband is supportive but he feels hopeless knowing that there is nothing he can do or say xxx

I havent got any advice, but hope you are better soon and sorry for your loss.

7th Apr 2009

i really feel for you my sis in law had on in jan she went for her 12week scan to be told it had lost its heartbeat at 8 weeks she took the tablets a week later and had bad cramps and stomache pains she still gets pain now she was there for a scan 2 weeks ago and was cleared they just said the pain is due to her periods being more heavy than before she fell preg, good luck for tomorow i hope everything goes as smooth and fast as possible

7th Apr 2009

My heart goes out to you - I too hope everything goes as well as possible tomorrow.

7th Apr 2009

deanos;4853943

I havent got any advice, but hope you are better soon and sorry for your … I havent got any advice, but hope you are better soon and sorry for your loss.

here here i wish u all the best - there is no advise i can give but im sorry for ur loss

Original Poster

7th Apr 2009

deanos;4853943

I havent got any advice, but hope you are better soon and sorry for your … I havent got any advice, but hope you are better soon and sorry for your loss.

Thanks xxx

SABJ;4853959

i really feel for you my sis in law had on in jan she went for her 12week … i really feel for you my sis in law had on in jan she went for her 12week scan to be told it had lost its heartbeat at 8 weeks she took the tablets a week later and had bad cramps and stomache pains she still gets pain now she was there for a scan 2 weeks ago and was cleared they just said the pain is due to her periods being more heavy than before she fell preg, good luck for tomorow i hope everything goes as smooth and fast as possible

Thats awful, even worse when you know you are expecting and are excitingly planning your new life. Thanks xxx

7th Apr 2009

I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but am thinking of you and hope tomorrow goes as well as it can do. xxx

Original Poster

7th Apr 2009

kensington143;4853988

My heart goes out to you - I too hope everything goes as well as possible … My heart goes out to you - I too hope everything goes as well as possible tomorrow.

ViperKeith;4853999

here here i wish u all the best - there is no advise i can give but im … here here i wish u all the best - there is no advise i can give but im sorry for ur loss

torapoole;4854011

I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but am thinking of you and hope … I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but am thinking of you and hope tomorrow goes as well as it can do. xxx

Thanks guys. Just a bit scared, i am getting myself all worked up, goodness knows the state i would be in if i waited 4 a scan on the nhs!

7th Apr 2009

same here sorry cant give you any advice but i be thinking of you tomorrow i hope it goes well and maybe you start feeling better x

7th Apr 2009

7th Apr 2009

I had a missed miscarrage but i was aware that i was pregnant at the time. Luckily i had a great hosp, who gave a couple of scans as well as a hormone blood test to check on the baby. Once confirmed baby wasn't ok, i had to have a termination and 'pass' the baby, although was given the option to wait for it to happen naturely. It doesn't sound right at all that they are asking you to wait so long, i only had to wait 2 days cause was a weekend. Are you able to go direct to hosp to see if they can give you a scan instead?Sorry can't give much more, but if you have any questions let me know. I hope tomorrow goes ok (or as ok as can) and all gets resolved quickly for you

7th Apr 2009

I was in a similar situation 6 years ago, but they gave me a scan immediately. It was a difficult time though.

7th Apr 2009

hope u ok

7th Apr 2009

did you take a pregnancy test to show you were pregnant at the time of the bleeding..the hormones would have still remained so would have shown a correct result?! If you have a scan too early on in your pregnancy it will show a sac but no baby...i had bleeding just after i found out i was pregnant at around 4-5 weeks and i had a a scan which showed nothing..i then had to wait until 7 weeks to see if my baby had died or developed..it was a horrible long wait. Perhaps your doctor thought this..even so i was offered an early scan just to check things over..which should have been done with you. I contacted the midwife at my doctors who arranged it for me. fingers crossed for you 2moro. x

7th Apr 2009

hi sweetie, i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby.

I lost a baby at full term. He died the same day he was born due to "anoxia" or lack of oxygen during birth.

If you have retained any part of the pregnancy in your womb you will need a small operation to dilate the neck of the womb and scrape out the contents. it is called a d and c.

Your bleeding is not necessarily to do with this. You may be grieving by bleeding, ( some women under a great deal of stress will literally bleed while they grieve ) there may be issues with PCOS or insulin resistance or thyroid or some other medical issue. Ask your GP for a run through of blood tests just to exclude the possibility of anything else being wrong.

We all grieve for our losses at different rates and in different ways. Losing a baby is most harrowing as we dont have any little memories, any precious possessions to keep with us as a source of comfort. You are going to have to find a way of honouring the child you lost to acknowledge that he/she actually existed and that you have had to let them go. Many women do this in different ways. I personally have a dedication to my son in the hospital where he both was born and then died. I have a plaque in a garden of remembrance. I have a lock of his curly hair. Some photos. I buy flowers just for him sometimes. It comforts me when they grow and flower and blossom somehow.

Find some way of easing your grief and make sure you keep healthy, happiness will slowly ease back in later x x

7th Apr 2009

I had 2 missed miscarridges, but i knew i was pregnant as we were planning a family.Its the most awful thing to go through. I really dont understand why the doctor isnt pushing for an earlier scan, as soon as mine was discovered (both times at the 12 week scan) i was booked in either the next day or following day as it can cause infection, i was offered the choice of carrying the baby until it came out on its own but i couldnt bring myself to walk around with a dead baby inside me.

I still have the pain of losing 2 babies and after the 2nd became very depressed but i now have a beutiful 6 month old little girl. Some people deal with their greif, me i prefer to bottle it all up and everynow and again have a good cry x

Could you not ring your local EPU (early pregancy unit) and speak to them i found them to be helpful and very lovely without the pity.

if the doctor thinks you have retained the baby after this long then he is crazy for not sending you for an emergency scan, have you tried a&e??It may just be really heavy peiriods as mine were terrible for months after having the D&C'sI hope everything is ok and my heart goes out to you x x x

Banned

7th Apr 2009

have you not had a scan since the missed miscarriage, if not that is really poor care from your gp, i would advise changing your gp to one that cares about there patients, im glad to hear your getting one tomorrow although you shouldnt have had to pay for this, cant offer any advice on your feelins, apart to say whatever you are feeeling is a natural feeling, love and hugs to you xx

It appears to me your GP is guilty of gross misconduct, and any possible miscarriage or loss such as you have suffered has to be referred to the hospital as it is extremely dangerous if the of the potential aborted feotus or placenta is left within the womb. This has to be checked and verified immediately.

Talk to these people, they will know how to proceed, and what action should be taken against the GP surgery.

7th Apr 2009

I cant believe they have not given you a scan immediately.It disgusts me and you need to make a complaint hun!Awww hope your ok and you sound like you have a lovely hubby.Thinking of you x

7th Apr 2009

I am so sorry, I had this happen to me a few years back and was never offered a scan or D&C it took months to get back to normal i had no idea it could get this bad i was lucky, i hope it gets sorted quickly for you xx

7th Apr 2009

This has been going on for 4 months? Seriously, I'd change GP as you could be suffering from all kinds of infections, hence why you are feeling so poorly and all the bleeding. If I were you, I'd start by calling your EPU at the hospital, explain it all to them and how it's been going on for 4 months and your GP isn't that bothered about getting you looked at, even though he's suggested you could have a retained miscarrage from 4 months ago and see what they say/suggest.

If you get no joy from them, if you have a walk in centre, I'd go in there, say you feel absolutely awful, explain the situation and see if they'll send you straight to hospital and completely bypass your GP. Whatever happens, I'd certianly put in a formal complaint about your GP and how long this has been dragging on and how much you;ve had to suffer because of his lack of action.

I hope you get some answers and this sorted in the next few days.

7th Apr 2009

i think its really strange that the doc expected u to wait two months for a scan. I am wondering if it is a scan just to check that your abdomen and ovaries are healthy rather than to check for any retained parts of the pregnancy. Is it for an internal ultrasound? Whenever I have had my ovaries looked at by scan it is by an internal probe, rather than a scan outside that they would use to check on a baby.. do you know the kind of scan you are epecting to have?

7th Apr 2009

ClarityofMind;4856846

i think its really strange that the doc expected u to wait two months for … i think its really strange that the doc expected u to wait two months for a scan. I am wondering if it is a scan just to check that your abdomen and ovaries are healthy rather than to check for any retained parts of the pregnancy. Is it for an internal ultrasound? Whenever I have had my ovaries looked at by scan it is by an internal probe, rather than a scan outside that they would use to check on a baby.. do you know the kind of scan you are epecting to have?

don't think this will answer it, as with my missed miscarriage, as it was still early(ish) days they also use an internal untrasound

7th Apr 2009

ruthplaydon;4857605

don't think this will answer it, as with my missed miscarriage, as it was … don't think this will answer it, as with my missed miscarriage, as it was still early(ish) days they also use an internal untrasound

awful to have to go through something like this at such a time.

OP hope things go smoothly for you tomorrow x

Original Poster

7th Apr 2009

ruthplaydon;4854121

I had a missed miscarrage but i was aware that i was pregnant at the … I had a missed miscarrage but i was aware that i was pregnant at the time. Luckily i had a great hosp, who gave a couple of scans as well as a hormone blood test to check on the baby. Once confirmed baby wasn't ok, i had to have a termination and 'pass' the baby, although was given the option to wait for it to happen naturely. It doesn't sound right at all that they are asking you to wait so long, i only had to wait 2 days cause was a weekend. Are you able to go direct to hosp to see if they can give you a scan instead?Sorry can't give much more, but if you have any questions let me know. I hope tomorrow goes ok (or as ok as can) and all gets resolved quickly for you

I didn't have the option, i was just given tablets and they sent me home! i was horrified! I should of went into hospital on sat when i was having the contractions and gushing blood but something stopped me. I went to the doctors on thurs and fri with similar symtoms and my medication was doubled, nothing else offered but a referral scan which could take up to 2 months!

mamamia7;4854289

did you take a pregnancy test to show you were pregnant at the time of … did you take a pregnancy test to show you were pregnant at the time of the bleeding..the hormones would have still remained so would have shown a correct result?! If you have a scan too early on in your pregnancy it will show a sac but no baby...i had bleeding just after i found out i was pregnant at around 4-5 weeks and i had a a scan which showed nothing..i then had to wait until 7 weeks to see if my baby had died or developed..it was a horrible long wait. Perhaps your doctor thought this..even so i was offered an early scan just to check things over..which should have been done with you. I contacted the midwife at my doctors who arranged it for me. fingers crossed for you 2moro. x

I would of liked a scan but i was not offered one x

ClarityofMind;4854312

hi sweetie, i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I lost a … hi sweetie, i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I lost a baby at full term. He died the same day he was born due to "anoxia" or lack of oxygen during birth. If you have retained any part of the pregnancy in your womb you will need a small operation to dilate the neck of the womb and scrape out the contents. it is called a d and c. Your bleeding is not necessarily to do with this. You may be grieving by bleeding, ( some women under a great deal of stress will literally bleed while they grieve ) there may be issues with PCOS or insulin resistance or thyroid or some other medical issue. Ask your GP for a run through of blood tests just to exclude the possibility of anything else being wrong. We all grieve for our losses at different rates and in different ways. Losing a baby is most harrowing as we dont have any little memories, any precious possessions to keep with us as a source of comfort. You are going to have to find a way of honouring the child you lost to acknowledge that he/she actually existed and that you have had to let them go. Many women do this in different ways. I personally have a dedication to my son in the hospital where he both was born and then died. I have a plaque in a garden of remembrance. I have a lock of his curly hair. Some photos. I buy flowers just for him sometimes. It comforts me when they grow and flower and blossom somehow. Find some way of easing your grief and make sure you keep healthy, happiness will slowly ease back in later x x

Sorry to hear about ur son, that is a lovely way of remembering him. Thanks for sharing, i know its not easy, especially on a public board xAfter an examination yesterday the doctor did another referral for a scan, he has put on the referral which i have copied as proof that he believes i have "retained" the pregnancy. I am no doctor but surely if that is the case i could have a serious infection and by waiting up to 2 months is not good 4 my health and wellbeing?

Banned

7th Apr 2009

this all sounds not good, you say your gp confirmed a miscarriage in december without even knowing you where pregnant? how did he confirm this, just because you where bleeding and dont normally? most miscarriages do not need scans but a missed miscarriage do, as a missed miscarriage usually means its a miscarriage that has been missed, its been missed because it hasnt come away, when i had one i was taken in the next day for a scan and the next day for a d&c, was only allowed home for the night as long as i was not left alone. For the miscarriages i had no scans where ever done, either before or after

Original Poster

7th Apr 2009

ilovepink;4854402

I had 2 missed miscarridges, but i knew i was pregnant as we were … I had 2 missed miscarridges, but i knew i was pregnant as we were planning a family.Its the most awful thing to go through. I really dont understand why the doctor isnt pushing for an earlier scan, as soon as mine was discovered (both times at the 12 week scan) i was booked in either the next day or following day as it can cause infection, i was offered the choice of carrying the baby until it came out on its own but i couldnt bring myself to walk around with a dead baby inside me.I still have the pain of losing 2 babies and after the 2nd became very depressed but i now have a beutiful 6 month old little girl. Some people deal with their greif, me i prefer to bottle it all up and everynow and again have a good cry xCould you not ring your local EPU (early pregancy unit) and speak to them i found them to be helpful and very lovely without the pity. if the doctor thinks you have retained the baby after this long then he is crazy for not sending you for an emergency scan, have you tried a&e??It may just be really heavy peiriods as mine were terrible for months after having the D&C'sI hope everything is ok and my heart goes out to you x x x

I have not thought about ringing the EPU. I am still having contractions but the bleeding after 2 wks is finally settling. I have waited this long and would rather been seen in a private hospital then if anything else does need doing it will be a lot quicker, wish i had posted this last wk and maybe i would of got further with everyones advise! Thx hun xxx

sassie;4854937

have you not had a scan since the missed miscarriage, if not that is … have you not had a scan since the missed miscarriage, if not that is really poor care from your gp, i would advise changing your gp to one that cares about there patients, im glad to hear your getting one tomorrow although you shouldnt have had to pay for this, cant offer any advice on your feelins, apart to say whatever you are feeeling is a natural feeling, love and hugs to you xx

Was not offered a scan I do have private health cover luckily but i still have 2 pay a £100 excess but i would pay anything to stop this pain both emotionally and physically.

059;4854954

I would urge you to get in touch with these … I would urge you to get in touch with these people.http://www.pals.nhs.uk/It appears to me your GP is guilty of gross misconduct, and any possible miscarriage or loss such as you have suffered has to be referred to the hospital as it is extremely dangerous if the of the potential aborted feotus or placenta is left within the womb. This has to be checked and verified immediately.Talk to these people, they will know how to proceed, and what action should be taken against the GP surgery.

Thank you so much, i cant find what i need to on the site but have taken copies of the paper work the GP gave me so i have proof which states i am being referred for a scan reason being miscarriage 3 months ago "retained products".

Charlie&Lola;4856152

This has been going on for 4 months? Seriously, I'd change GP as you … This has been going on for 4 months? Seriously, I'd change GP as you could be suffering from all kinds of infections, hence why you are feeling so poorly and all the bleeding. If I were you, I'd start by calling your EPU at the hospital, explain it all to them and how it's been going on for 4 months and your GP isn't that bothered about getting you looked at, even though he's suggested you could have a retained miscarrage from 4 months ago and see what they say/suggest.If you get no joy from them, if you have a walk in centre, I'd go in there, say you feel absolutely awful, explain the situation and see if they'll send you straight to hospital and completely bypass your GP. Whatever happens, I'd certianly put in a formal complaint about your GP and how long this has been dragging on and how much you;ve had to suffer because of his lack of action.I hope you get some answers and this sorted in the next few days.

I really wish i had posted this last wk, u have all been so helpful with ur advise and maybe i would of had the courage to override my doctors recommendation and do something about it myself. I am so anrgy with myself but i have been 2 the doctors so many times, i given up!

ClarityofMind;4856846

i think its really strange that the doc expected u to wait two months for … i think its really strange that the doc expected u to wait two months for a scan. I am wondering if it is a scan just to check that your abdomen and ovaries are healthy rather than to check for any retained parts of the pregnancy. Is it for an internal ultrasound? Whenever I have had my ovaries looked at by scan it is by an internal probe, rather than a scan outside that they would use to check on a baby.. do you know the kind of scan you are epecting to have?

The GP told me verbally and in my referral that i had a miscarriage 3 months ago and he believes i have "retained products".

Original Poster

7th Apr 2009

sassie;4858638

this all sounds not good, you say your gp confirmed a miscarriage in … this all sounds not good, you say your gp confirmed a miscarriage in december without even knowing you where pregnant? how did he confirm this, just because you where bleeding and dont normally? most miscarriages do not need scans but a missed miscarriage do, as a missed miscarriage usually means its a miscarriage that has been missed, its been missed because it hasnt come away, when i had one i was taken in the next day for a scan and the next day for a d&c, was only allowed home for the night as long as i was not left alone. For the miscarriages i had no scans where ever done, either before or after

I had a positive pregnancy test after the miscarriage and had blood tests. I refer to it as a missed miscarriage as i didn't know i was pregnant at the time but i don't know if it is the right terminology!?

Banned

7th Apr 2009

Aimee1985;4858767

I had a positive pregnancy test after the miscarriage and had blood … I had a positive pregnancy test after the miscarriage and had blood tests. I refer to it as a missed miscarriage as i didn't know i was pregnant at the time but i don't know if it is the right terminology!?

all of my miscarriages and missed miscarriage showed a negative pregnancy test after, so cant help you there, a missed miscarriage is not a misscarriage you didnt know about, it is a misscarriage that hasnt come away, the sack is still left and can be growing

7th Apr 2009

sassie;4858833

all of my miscarriages and missed miscarriage showed a negative pregnancy … all of my miscarriages and missed miscarriage showed a negative pregnancy test after, so cant help you there, a missed miscarriage is not a misscarriage you didnt know about, it is a misscarriage that hasnt come away, the sack is still left and can be growing

the last miscarriage i had i didnt wanna believe it was happening so i kept taking a pregnancy test every day wishing it would suddenly turn out ok.. over three days the positive tests faded and by four five days they were negative, but i have heard that hormones within the body can last longer than that in some people.

Original Poster

7th Apr 2009

ClarityofMind;4858878

the last miscarriage i had i didnt wanna believe it was happening so i … the last miscarriage i had i didnt wanna believe it was happening so i kept taking a pregnancy test every day wishing it would suddenly turn out ok.. over three days the positive tests faded and by four five days they were negative, but i have heard that hormones within the body can last longer than that in some people.

The doctor repeated my test on monday, i am not sure why but it was negative. I was still hoping that they got it wrong and it would be positive x

7th Apr 2009

Aimee1985;4858897

The doctor repeated my test on monday, i am not sure why but it was … The doctor repeated my test on monday, i am not sure why but it was negative. I was still hoping that they got it wrong and it would be positive x

aww sweetie, i think you're more upset about this than you realise. put in the bluntest of terms you have to let go of the dream of this baby... it isnt going to come true and you owe it to what might have been to let go completely so you can GET WELL. Get strong and healthy. Take your vitamins, eat well. And then maybe one day soon you'll find you are carrying the baby who is meant to be with you for always and wont just be just a dream sweetie x x

Went to the doctors this morning, they did bloods and swabs. Not nice as it bought the bleeding and pains on again :scared1:

I then went to the private hospital for a scan. What a different experience, whilst i was nervous they were lovely, really understanding, reassuring, asked lots of questions. They could not make sense of what has gone on since my miscarriage in December and she looked more confused than me!

I had an ultra sound and an internal probe which found that i had retained products from the miscarriage. She didn't say much more as they needed to have a detailed look at the images and compile a report. My GP is going to contact me with appropriate action as to what needs to happen next. Its looks as though i may need a D and C.

Not a nice experience for anyone but at least i know for sure whats been happening and it concludes why i have been feeling the way i have for so long. I wish i had this option at the time of the miscarriage not 4 months down the line but theres no point sulking i cant undo the past.

Thank you again for your support and sharing your experiences :hug:

Banned

8th Apr 2009

Aw aimee my heart goes out to u thats not what anyone deserves im a mom of 3 and i understand completely how u feel , if u ever need a chat or a moan be sure to just send me a wee pm im only 23 but i have as much experience as the next mum , hugs for u darling chin up wasnt mean to be this time x

8th Apr 2009

Aimee1985;4865491

Thank you all, its been really nice to vent my emotions knowing that my … Thank you all, its been really nice to vent my emotions knowing that my feelings wont upset anyone else. Went to the doctors this morning, they did bloods and swabs. Not nice as it bought the bleeding and pains on again :scared1:I then went to the private hospital for a scan. What a different experience, whilst i was nervous they were lovely, really understanding, reassuring, asked lots of questions. They could not make sense of what has gone on since my miscarriage in December and she looked more confused than me! I had an ultra sound and an internal probe which found that i had retained products from the miscarriage. She didn't say much more as they needed to have a detailed look at the images and compile a report. My GP is going to contact me with appropriate action as to what needs to happen next. Its looks as though i may need a D and C. Not a nice experience for anyone but at least i know for sure whats been happening and it concludes why i have been feeling the way i have for so long. I wish i had this option at the time of the miscarriage not 4 months down the line but theres no point sulking i cant undo the past.Thank you again for your support and sharing your experiences :hug:

You wont feel any physical pain during or after a D&C, althougth they will put summit inside your minnie to open up your cervix (i had this both times cant remember what its called soz) this can bring on contractions make sure you speak to someone if you need to x xx

8th Apr 2009

Aimee1985;4865491

Thank you all, its been really nice to vent my emotions knowing that my … Thank you all, its been really nice to vent my emotions knowing that my feelings wont upset anyone else. Went to the doctors this morning, they did bloods and swabs. Not nice as it bought the bleeding and pains on again :scared1:I then went to the private hospital for a scan. What a different experience, whilst i was nervous they were lovely, really understanding, reassuring, asked lots of questions. They could not make sense of what has gone on since my miscarriage in December and she looked more confused than me! I had an ultra sound and an internal probe which found that i had retained products from the miscarriage. She didn't say much more as they needed to have a detailed look at the images and compile a report. My GP is going to contact me with appropriate action as to what needs to happen next. Its looks as though i may need a D and C. Not a nice experience for anyone but at least i know for sure whats been happening and it concludes why i have been feeling the way i have for so long. I wish i had this option at the time of the miscarriage not 4 months down the line but theres no point sulking i cant undo the past.Thank you again for your support and sharing your experiences :hug:

well done for getting through the day sweetie. a d and c isnt so scary and once it's over you'll feel a little sore but your body will soon feel much better. be kind to yourself and make sure your oh lets you put your feet up for a while and takes care of you x x