So, You Want to Grow a Beard

Are you looking for the full Harden? Something a little more Jeff Bridges-esque? A chin strap? (Please don't do that last one.) No matter your facial-hair proclivities, we've got you covered.

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Admit it. Every day you walk into your local artisanal coffee shop and can't help but admire the full, luxuriant beard of the barista behind the counter. It's OK; don't feel bad. We're living in the Age of the Beard. It's no crime if you too want to get in on the action, too. The only question is, what type of beard should you go for?

Do you go with something thick and lustrous, like the Hemingway? Or do you go for more of the coffee house poet/Communist revolutionary vibe, like Johnny Depp? (Which, well, maybe not.) To aid you in your quest to grow the perfect set of whiskers, here are some famous beards you can use as your guide.

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The Hemingway

The Hemingway

A classic beard. It's thick, it's well-shaped, it shows the world you have more than few healthy follicles adorning your face area. It's the beard of lumberjacks and fishermen, and of course Papa himself. Just make sure to have solid coverage for this one. A patchy Hemingway beard is much worse than no beard at all. And remember: It pairs best with flannel shirts and old, wooly fisherman sweaters.

Admit it. Every day you walk into your local artisanal coffee shop and can't help but admire the full, luxuriant beard of the barista behind the counter. It's OK; don't feel bad. We're living in the Age of the Beard. It's no crime if you too want to get in on the action, too. The only question is, what type of beard should you go for?

Do you go with something thick and lustrous, like the Hemingway? Or do you go for more of the coffee house poet/Communist revolutionary vibe, like Johnny Depp? (Which, well, maybe not.) To aid you in your quest to grow the perfect set of whiskers, here are some famous beards you can use as your guide.

Getty

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The Hemingway

A classic beard. It's thick, it's well-shaped, it shows the world you have more than few healthy follicles adorning your face area. It's the beard of lumberjacks and fishermen, and of course Papa himself. Just make sure to have solid coverage for this one. A patchy Hemingway beard is much worse than no beard at all. And remember: It pairs best with flannel shirts and old, wooly fisherman sweaters.

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The Johnny Depp

Also known as the non-connecting mustache and goatee, this is a great look if you decide to lead a Communist revolution. Otherwise, it's probably a good idea to steer clear. It worked for a pre-shitshow '90s Johnny, but nowadays the risk of looking like an affected mixologist outweighs any potential rewards.

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The Overly Prominent Mustache

Growing a mustache that's more prominent than the beard, like Gael Garcia Bernal here, is a risky move, and one that should only be done if you're sure you have the chin to back it up. But it is a nice way to have a mustache without looking like a porn star or a news anchor. And it's especially apropos if you happen to live on a Southwestern ranch.

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The Overly Prominent Beard

On the other hand, unless you're Amish or playing Honest Abe in your local community theater's rendition of Lincoln, you shouldn't go the opposite direction and make the beard more prominent than the mustache. As Dodgers reliever J.P. Howell demonstrates, it just doesn't look right without a pitchfork and a flat-brim hat.

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The Freud

Of all the many talents that Hugh Jackman has, the one he doesn't get enough recognition for is beard-growing capability. The man could offer a master class in how many styles of hair you can grow on your face. Like The Freud here, which is trimmed shorter on the sides and left fuller around the chin. This is good if you happen to have a really short face—or if you like talking to people (maybe about penises) while they lie next to you on a couch.

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The Old-Timey Villain

See? We told you—Jackman's a total beard artist. You can hardly even tell it's him. This is maybe not a recommended look for 99 percent of the male population, but if you have a propensity for tying up damsels on train tracks, this might be the beard for you. Just make sure you own a nice black top hat.

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The Wolverine, a.k.a.The Mutton Chops

This beard is dangerous move unless you actually are Wolverine. Or a Victorian-era hansom cab driver. But it might be worth thinking about if you have an exceedingly long face. Or if you hate shaving. That three-inch stripe down your chin won't take too much effort to clear on occasion.

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The Old West Goatee

The Dude unquestionably abides this beard setup. Just keep in mind that, like Jeff Bridges, you do have to be something of a badass to pull off this type of face fur. And it definitely helps to have a low and lazy drawl. If you have a knack for playing sad cowboy songs on the guitar, well...all the better.

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The Ultra-Manicured Goatee

For some guys, this might work. But you better be pretty highly clipped and polished to pull it off. And it will definitely help if you spend a lot of time in places like Monte Carlo wearing light-colored linen suits. Otherwise, it might be time to reach for the razor.