Tuesday, November 22, 2011

On their First Birthday

On the first birthday of my puppies that I love so dearly, I don't know whether to be happy, sad or a mixture of both. Of course I'm happy that my miracle, Duke, is still here with us and still just as temperamental and funny as he was on the day he was born; but I wish he wouldn't have had to go through all that pain in his first year. I love him more than he will ever know, and sometimes, it's his big, fat head and goofy puppy grin that keep his mommy going when she doesn't really feel like it. He truly is a miracle; in more than one way. I love him so much and I am so happy that the Lord saw fit to let me keep him longer than he let me keep my BooBoo.

I am so happy that my bright, vivacious Daisy is here with us. She never contracted the virus, thankfully; She is just as much a puppy as she was one year ago. She brightens up my life so much, I couldn't imagine my life without her! I love her more than she will ever know, and am so glad that I still get to see her almost everyday!

Of course I am so sad that my BooBoo and Spikers didn't make it to this monumental birthday, the first one they would have had of many, but it was robbed of them by a mean, cruel and violent virus, and vet that didn't tell me that it was a booster. Of course I blame myself, a lot. How could I not. But I could play the blame game all day everyday and it wouldn't bring either of them back. I think of his sad eyes and his floppy ears,and while it brings a smile to my heart, there is a pang of longing there too. A pang of longing that can never, ever be filled, because I won't ever get to see him again on this earth. It hurts to think about it, but I'm glad my BooBoo and Spikers don't hurt anymore; they play all day and watch over their brother, Duke, their sister, Daisy, and their Mama, Roxy. They watch over me and Michael. Everytime I see a rainbow, I can almost feel that sandpaper tongue against my face and those big, sad eyes looking at me saying, "But Mama, I'm hungry! Can't you see I'm starved!"