Sure. Apologies for the thread semi-hijack ASM, and to those who have read the story before. But except for the time I got into a fight with Johnny Rotten, who tried to steal my wedding ring, it's as much of a brush with music greatness as I've had.

I was in college at the University of Southern Maine in the mid to late `70s. The school was then known as the University of Maine at Portland-Gorham, affectionately referred to as Pogo U. by those attending.

I was a few years older than my peers thanks to an enforced stint in the Army, lived off-campus, and consequently had little to do with the school except attending classes. However, as I've always been interested in music, I did join a student organization charged with bringing music acts to the school. During that time I helped produce USM concerts for such `70s period acts as Arlo Guthrie; Loggins and Messina; Phoebe Snow; James Taylor; and Maria Muldaur among others as well as lesser-known East Coast bands such as Robin Lane and the Chartbusters and Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers.

As with many of the acts we booked, Maria's salad days - at least from a pop hit standpoint - were a little behind her when she had had a monster hit with "Midnight at the Oasis" in 1973. When we booked her, which was in either 1974 or `75 she was headlining a packaged college tour that included the vocal group The Persuasions and opening act Tom Waits, who was promoting his album "The Heart of Saturday Night." As Waits once said, he's opened for everyone from Frank Zappa to Buffalo Bob.

Backstage, I didn't have all that much interaction with Waits, who I had never heard of at the time. I was more interested in talking to Maria, who I had a serious crush on. Waits struck me as something of a poseur with his strange, scruffy, obviously created boho-type persona. What I best remember about him was that he was wearing a cheap blue Goodwill suit and had not the best personal hygiene. In fact, he reeked of B.O., cigarettes, and stale booze to the point where most people tried to stay several yards away from him.

The show about to open, Waits had already plowed through a six-pack or two and decided he wanted to bring a beer with him on-stage. An off-duty Portland cop who we were using as backstage security had already taken a dislike to Waits, probably since he looked and acted like the type of wino the cop would normally be running in. In any case, the rent-a-cop told Waits that the booze was strictly verboten as the hall had a no-alcohol policy. We all dutifully ignored the clouds of weed smoke that were floating all around us. The argument got heated, I stepped in to intercede, and while I had the rent-a-cop distracted, Waits hid several cans of beer in his suit jacket, walked out on stage, sat down at the piano, reached inside his jacket, pulled out a beer, popped the top, put it on the piano, turned to the backstage, and gave us all the finger.

I spent Waits' set talking the cop out of stopping the show and hauling Waits down to the local pokey. I missed much of his performance, although I still remember a line from his monologue about being "so horny even the crack of dawn wasn't safe," and I was impressed enough with "Diamonds on My Windshield" that I bought his album the next day. Either from luck or recognizing that discretion might be the better part of valor, Waits departed from the other side of the stage at the end of his set and disappeared into the Maine night.

Over the past few years I've become a friend of Maria's, and told her that story some thirty-odd years later. When I mentioned that Waits had smelled a little, ah, ripe, she began to laugh. "My God," she said. "I haven't thought of that tour in years. You're right, Tom was pretty pungent. We used to have to make excuses not to sit at the same table with him. We were saying, 'My God, doesn't this guy ever bathe?'"

Ah, very cool - and we can enjoy the story of mad drunken stinking ill-mannered but charming Tom Waits because of his transformation into the fragrant sober gallant but charming sage of today! Thanks very much!

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