I Got Stinky Feet by Dennis Domrzalski

They would save the wicked from the pious, the rich from the poor, torch the rain forest and eat their shoes if necessary. Yes, Dennis and his pal Dave are off on the greatest and wackiest adventure of all time: a cross-country motorcycle trip begun from the frozen Midwest on the first day of winter.

For Dennis it's a way to recover from being dumped by the peerles Shirley Kozlowski. For Dave, a way to show off to a grateful world his immense and supreme boldness.

Along the way they wage desperate battles against humanity's most descipable enemies: poets, wine connoisseurs, shoe sniffers, newspaper editors, vegetarians and square dancers. The escape from car-trunk brain surgeons, creative writers and other bizarre and creepy people. And they unravel some of life's deepest mysteries, like why old people walk slow and why some people don't wear underwear!

Our two heroes aren't geographically ignorant; they know they must head south in the winter in order to avoid freezing to death. But to their shock, it's cold in Texas in the winter, too. So they devise a clever plan to stay warm: Blubberizing.

And what is blubberizing? Smearing themselves with thin layers of bacon grease! But the plan backfires when hordes of people who are too poor to buy their own lard, take them prisoner and scrape the grease off their bodies.

Includes in this insanely funny books is the epic poem, I Got Stinky Feet:

I don't know much 'rithmetic. I can't spell retreet. I can't fly a fighter place, But I got stinky feet!

I Got Stinky Feet is a brilliant mix of comedy and knife-edge satire that rips the world's snobs, slobs, losers and idiots. Like Mark Twain's timeless classic, Roughing It, I Got Stinky Feet's satire, humor, and outlandish stories and characters is humorous fiction at its best.