Sunday, March 22, 2009

Everyone KNOWS its Scar-Jo, asshole!

Yesterday I went to my cousin Mandy's wedding in Canberra. I had a few laughs, drank some wine, breathed the Canberra air, met some cousins I never even knew I had (more cousins, who thought it was possible), accidentally-on-purpose spilled tea candle wax all over the table, then used it to clue heart shaped confetti to my face and the faces of those around me, ate some cake - you know, the usual.Anyway, when I went to bed last night, I had maybe one of the craziest dreams ever.I know.That's a pretty big call.But I think, after reading it, you might just agree with me. (Oh, before I start, all the people who made appearances in this dream are real. So if you are one of them, and you're creeped out by the fact that I dreamed about you...well, get over it).So first of all, me and a group of friends are going clubbing. On George St. And when I say George St, I don't mean the regular George St, I mean a country town with a population of like, 7. But in the dream it was George St. I don't remember everyone who came, but Robbie Kerr was definitely there. As was Mel (Amon), Madi (MuSung) and Jessie (Grace). Oh, I forgot. I said we were going clubbing - all the places we went to were fictional clubs from Sex and The City. Like, remember that episode where they went to a club called Bed? And it was basically just a huge room filled with beds, with loud music playing?We went there.Around the corner from Bed, there was a pub called Jager Explosion, which was apparently our favourite place ever. Oh, Mike (Warrell) was at Jager Explosion. We left Jager Explosion, went to some more places, then decided to go back, but we found that it was closed. Then I was all 'I don't feel like clubbing anymore', so I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, I was lying on the bed in our guest bedroom. You know, the one with the magic doona?Oh, I should tell you - this whole time, I'm wearing the exact same outfit I wore to Mandy's wedding.So I get a text on my phone, and its Madi:Hey! Since we didn't go out last night, we should go out tonight! Jager Explosion? XxWait a minute. Didn't we go out last night? Or was the whole first part of the dream a...dream? A dream within a dream - but isn't that a coma? I didn't have much time to ponder, because at this point I was actually woken up by my mother who wants to know if I'm coming to the buffet breakfast. I decline, and go back to sleep - the dream continues.So now I'm at my primary school, watching people walk around the oval. I'm standing on this balcony hanging over the oval, which doesn't exist in real life, but whatever. Two people that stand out to me are Jordan (Potts) and Jane (du Toit). Jane is dressed as Scarlett Johannson, and Jordan is parading her around yelling 'Hey, everyone! Her name is Scar-Shh now! Scar-Shh!'Ok, I feel like I have to explain this part. You know how people make nicknames for celebrities by shortening their first and last names, and then squishing them together? Like Robert Pattinson is R-Patz? And Lindsay Lohan is LiLo? That's what Jordan was doing (or at least, trying to do) to Scarlett Johannson.Now, here's my favourite part of the whole dream:So I'm standing on the balcony, people-watching, with Julia (Hirst) and Anna (Goyen), and I hear Jordan screaming out the Scar-Shh thing, and I lean over the railing and shout:Everyone KNOWS its Scar-Jo, asshole!!and turn back to Julia and Anna, who have this look of complete shock on their faces. Then I woke up, because my sister was jumping on my bed. And in that moment, the only thing I could remember about the whole dream was the Scar-Jo/asshole thing, so I yelled it at Catherine.Haha. I love it.I love it so much, I think I'll make it my new catchphrase. Because when you think about it, its funny and true - everyone DOES know. Her name is Scar-Jo.Assholes.

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About Me

Brown hair, brown eyes, swears too much, drives like a maniac.
I suck at my job, play with my hair when I get nervous, and always always have painted nails. Favourite colour? Yellow. Favourite food? Sandwiches. Blood type? Pinot Grigio. If I was an animal, I'd either be a starfish/eagle hybrid or Gonzo from The Muppets Show. Anything else? I fucking love my life.