So, in order to save you from having to go through every Reuters, New York Times, Fox News, CNN, Huffington Post, Los Angeles Times, CBS News, and Wall Street Journal poll, I’ve dutifully compiled an illustrated list of 10 reasons why Obama will win this election.

You’re welcome.

1) Osama Bin Laden is dead.

As the mastermind of one of the deadliest and most horrific terror attacks on American soil, Osama Bin Laden has been on the most wanted list of just about every American since that fateful day in September of 2001. But thanks to Obama, this evil man is no longer with us.

Score one vote for Barack.

2) Obama brought our troops home.

Say what you want about Obama’s foreign policy record, the man brought our troops home (at least some of them), ending the war in Iraq. That has to at least count for something in voters’ psyches.

3) He takes very unpopular stances.

Barack Obama, in an extremely surprising turn, decided to publicly support gay marriage. Whether you agree or not that same-sex couples should be able to get married and enjoy the same benefits that a man and woman in holy matrimony currently enjoy, some voters will undoubtedly be turned off. But, you must admit that it takes a very special person to be willing to lose votes and support over this divisive issue.

“I’m a Republican voting for Mitt Romney/You lazy [people] is [messing] up the economy.”

At first listen, one might either think that this is extremely bad for Obama, or question whether or not Nicki Minaj really is a Republican who believes lazy people (probably those with a penchant for taking advantage of entitlements) are destroying our economy. Luckily, Minaj has clarified the matter for us.

Minaj explained the sarcasm in her lyrics and even pledged her support for President Obama. This is big, because Minaj, in addition to other hip hop artists, has access to the collective ears of the young people who came out in record numbers to vote for Obama in 2008.

5) Bill Clinton is back.

As one of the coolest presidents ever to reside in the White House – and ranked as the number three president in American history, just behind Ronald Regan and Abraham Lincoln – William Jefferson gave a resounding speech in favor of Barack Obama’s quest for a second term. And with Clinton’s recent popularity numbers soaring through the roof, Obama looks to be in position to sign another four-year lease on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Anyone that can sing, play basketball, and govern arguably the most powerful country in the world at the same time deserves to be president.

7) He has four years’ worth of accomplishments to show the American people.

Barack Obama has done much to improve the lives of so many in this country.

For those unsure if we as a nation are better off than we were four years ago, just ask the worker in Detroit how the auto industry bailout has helped. Or better, poll the many young people who now have health insurance thanks to the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, and ask them how their lives have gotten better under Obama.

8) Romney has gaffes. So many of them.

Typing “Romney gaffe” into Google yields approximately 8,550,000 results. (See here and here for some examples.)

The biggest argument against Romney is that he is out of touch with the reality of the everyday American, so much so that his recent comments about what defines “middle-income” has people a bit wary. (Though to be fair, the Democrats have also used this definition as their metric for the middle class.) But all of this pales in comparison to Romney’s recent remarks to a roomful of wealthy donors:

“There are 47% of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47% who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it….And the government should give it to them….And so my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”

Not the best way to secure votes, telling the potential people you may represent that you do not care for them. (Also, Romney might want to educate himself a little bit more about where this 47% is coming from.)

9) Obama has the ability to transcend politics.

Most likely, you have already seen this. From this day forward, it shall be referred to as the bear hug seen around the world.

What you may not know is that Scott Van Duzer (the serial bear-hugger) is a Republican who recently said he would be willing to campaign for Obama if given the opportunity. While we will never know if Duzer was being facetious or not, the fact that a Republican was willing to leave his politics at the door and literally embrace the president really says something about Barack Obama and his ability to tap into the sensibilities of voters across the aisle.

Well done, Barack. Well done.

10) He married Michelle.

Did everyone catch the First Lady’s speech at the Democratic National Convention? It was so good that Bill Clinton even sketchily commented that Barack had enough sense to marry her. Simply put, Michelle won. Bye.