Study: Looks Matter Less To Women Than They Do To Men

Once again, ❤science❤ has entered, stage right, as a supporting cast member of Chateau Heartiste’s magnum opus. Once again, you won’t be led astray if you embrace CH observations as your own. You could say there’s a Heartiste Rule in effect at this happy hurting ground: 80% of keen-eyed CH lessons drawn from field experience are in short order confirmed by empirical rigor. The remaining 20% either await scientific vindication, or are too nuanced to mimic in the laboratory without great difficulty or unethical experimental tactics.

The latest salvo from science supports (right on cue!) the knowledge contained within a Heartistian Horcrux that the sexes perceive looks differently and are, as a result, affected by the physical attractiveness of the opposite sex differently.

When we strained our subjects’ attentional capacities, we found exactly what I had suspected several decades before: Men overestimated the number of beautiful women (though their estimates of handsome men were unaffected). Female subjects also overestimated the frequency of gorgeous women in the rapidly presented crowds, but they did not overestimate the frequency of handsome men. The whole body of findings points to a simple conclusion about beautiful women: They capture everyone’s attention and monopolize downstream cognitive processes. The conclusion about handsome men is different: They grab women’s eyes but do not hold their minds; good-looking guys quickly get washed out of the stream of mental processing.

This is in line with what we have been saying here for some time: Women are essentially less viscerally affected by good male looks than men are affected by good female looks. And whatever effect male handsomeness has on women’s senses is dissipated much faster from their mental landscapes than female beauty is expunged from men’s mental landscapes. This beautiful truth has far-reaching implications for practitioners of the crimson arts.

In our first study, [we] asked people to judge an average-looking woman after being exposed to one of two series of other women. Half the participants judged the target woman after seeing a series of unusually beautiful women; the other half judged her after seeing a series of average-looking women. As in the case of exposure to extremes of water temperature, exposure to extremes of physical appearance affected people’s judgments of what was average. As we had predicted, an average-looking woman was judged significantly uglier than normal if the subjects had just been gazing at a series of beauties.

And as game theorists will tell you, a charming man will be judged more attractive than he is if the woman in his company had just been hanging out with a bunch of boring betas.

Subjects in the control group first judged the artistic merit of abstract paintings such as Josef Albers’s Homage to the Square. The men in the experimental group saw centerfolds from Playboy and Penthouse; the women saw handsome naked men from Playgirl. After they had looked at either paintings or centerfolds, we asked our participants to rate their feelings about their current relationship partners. Again, there was a cover story — that psychologists were divided on whether being in a relationship opened people up to new aesthetic experiences or made them less open to novelty. To test which side was right, we told them, we needed to know about the extent to which their reported level of commitment depended on whether they had seen centerfolds.

Once again, the results displayed a curious gender difference:

Men who had viewed the centerfolds rated themselves as less in love with their partners; women’s judgments of their partners were not so easily swayed.

Once again, we see that male looks don’t compel nearly the same aroused urgency from women that female looks compel from men. Or, when women cheat, it’s not usually because they found a handsomer lover; it’s because the man they’re with stopped exciting them with their personalities.

The harmful side effect for guys … is this: Real women … do not look as attractive once the mind has been calibrated to assume the centerfolds are normal. And for guys in relationships, exposure to beautiful photos undermines their feelings about the real flesh-and-blood women with whom their lives are actually intertwined.

No this is the PC interpretation. More precisely, limited options and exclusion from beautiful women calibrates men’s minds to assume “real women” are prettier than they are.

But lest we’re too quick to assume men are the only ones who conform to the worst of their gender’s stereotypes, women didn’t fare much better when the experiment was repeated with power rather than beauty as the variable:

Seeing a series of socially dominant men undermined women’s commitment, just as seeing attractive women had done to men’s.

CARDIAC ARREST goes the feminist and manboob hamsters. Recall a very early post from the Chateau archives:

As I’ve written before, what men like in women is simple. In descending order of importance, here are the female attractiveness traits that men desire in women:

Beauty.
Femininity.
Sexual eagerness.

In descending order of importance, here are the male attractiveness traits that women desire in men:

And what a shitstorm of commentary it has been in the interim! Feminists and bitter beta males both heaving sandbags of rationalizations and wishful thinking and earnest platitudes against the ramparts so that they may bunker down and avoid dealing with these eternal earthy truths about the different sexual natures of men and women.

So what’s a mortal to do [about sensory overload and adaptation]? Are we helpless in the face of our evolved mechanisms, which may lead us astray without our conscious awareness? Not completely. People who understand the dangers of overabundant fats and sugars can control their diets. People who understand the dangers of an overabundant diet of mass-media images can stop gorging on Playboy, People, Sex and the City, or Dancing with the Stars.

Good god, this is some realtalk right here. Just as fatties can keep crap food out of their homes, the loveless and love-hungry can keep porn — the male and female versions of it — out of theirs.

It’s two for one day at Le Chateau, so here’s another recent relevant study that finds partner physical attractiveness is less important as a predictor of women’s marital satisfaction.

Do men value physical attractiveness in a mate more than women? Scientists in numerous disciplines believe that they do, but recent research using speed-dating paradigms suggests that males and females are equally influenced by physical attractiveness when choosing potential mates. Nevertheless, the premise of the current work is that sex differences in the importance of physical attractiveness are most likely to emerge in research on long-term relationships. Accordingly, the current work drew from 4 independent, longitudinal studies to examine sex differences in the implications of partner physical attractiveness for trajectories of marital satisfaction. In all 4 studies, both partners’ physical attractiveness was objectively rated at baseline, and both partners reported their marital satisfaction up to 8 times over the first 4 years of marriage. Whereas husbands were more satisfied at the beginning of the marriage and remained more satisfied over the next 4 years to the extent that they had an attractive wife, wives were no more or less satisfied initially or over the next 4 years to the extent that they had an attractive husband. Most importantly, a direct test indicated that partner physical attractiveness played a larger role in predicting husbands’ satisfaction than predicting wives’ satisfaction. These findings strengthen support for the idea that sex differences in self-reported preferences for physical attractiveness do have implications for long-term relationship outcomes.

Happy wife, happy life? Happy husband, stronger lovin’. Husbands have a responsibility to provide emotional and material support. Wives have a responsibility to provide beauty and sexual support. If either party reneges on their end of the deal — the equivalent of the dull, withdrawn, couch potato husband is the fat, unfeminine, nag wife — then the deal is severed, in practice if not in procedure. This is as decisive an IF-THEN statement as you’ll come across in the realm of human social interaction.

Men, know that your dominance and self-confidence are your passage to bangkunt. Women, know that your youth, beauty and slender hourglass figures are your passage to bangkok. The losers in life will wail and rend their XXXXL muu-muus disclaiming this romantic reality, but after a million terabytes and a billion snarled memes they are still on their knees, receiving a hot load of ostracism and despair from the winners at the party they desperately, secretly yearn to join.

UPDATE

Three for one, baby! Reader Will passes along another study that used MRIs to peer deep into male and female brains to discover the elemental neural processes at work when an attractive member of the opposite sex is in view.

Apologies (not too sorry) for this off-topic. Not sure if CH or anyone else has read this (probably). But it’s *science* that shows that guys are biologically wired to be *motivated* (read: boner) for visual ques (read tits and an ass) moreso than girls. This is an MRI being done on the brain that shows the amygdala is fired moreso in guys than girls when sexyness is visually seen.

This can be interpreted as how guys don’t care so much about status because the blood is rushed to our amygdala based on visual…. Not comparative social relations (such as power). Girls thus have more blood focusing on other parts of there brain such as which guy will give me higher status in terms of my social context.

Quoting the study results,

The emotion control center of the brain, the amygdala, shows significantly higher levels of activation in males viewing sexual visual stimuli than females viewing the same images, according to a Center for Behavioral Neuroscience study led by Emory University psychologists Stephan Hamann and Kim Wallen. The finding, which appears in the April edition of “Nature Neuroscience,” demonstrates how men and women process visual sexual stimuli differently, and it may explain gender variations in reproductive behavior. […]

The fMRI scans revealed significantly higher levels of activation in the amygdala, which controls emotion and motivation, in the brains of the male subjects compared to the females, despite the fact that both males and females expressed similar subjective assessments of their levels of arousal after viewing the images.

Hamann and Wallen had a separate group pre-select the images to ensure they would be equally arousing to both males and females.

“If males and females found the pictures equally arousing, you would assume they would have similar patterns of brain activation,” said Hamann. “But we discovered the male brain seems to process visual sexual cues differently.”

The scientists’ discovery also is consistent with an evolutionary theory that natural selection spurred the development of different sexual behaviors in males and females.

“There is an advantage for males in quickly recognizing and responding to receptive females through visual cues,” explains Hamann. “This allows them to maximize their mating opportunities, which increases their chances for passing on their genes.”

Another CH truth lovingly caressed by SCIENCE. And this is a humdinger of science, because it directly measured brain activation rather than indirectly through surveys or behavioral analysis.

Men are more viscerally aroused by female looks than are women by male looks. Men, therefore, can neither rely on their looks to get and keep women, nor excuse their failure with women based on their looks. Game, aka applied charisma, is about exploiting that soft space between a woman’s subjective assessment of her own arousal and her actual, primal arousal. As always, don’t listen to what women say, watch what they do. And nothing watches as closely as an MRI looking right into her friggin noggin.

194 Responses

God, I love findings like these. Primarily for their explosive impact on the Feminazis. Shrieking sweating moustachioed grievance whores, coiled like rattlesnakes waiting for the first hint of deviant thinking. I console myself with the thought that they’ll end up dead in a room full of hungry cats.

Ha, i was talking about the younger, to the left from the screen, or maybe it was her but is just that Asian /Mestizas are not your type, it may also be the angle though, too bad i can’t find more pics of her, this is other, she is the one of the middle

leeminh0: Yes, the one on the left. 4 and for the reasons I gave. The one on the right, I’d say a 2.

The one on the left actually has potential to be more attractive, hence my comment about her being a 6 if she shed the whale blubber.

Beauty is objective, with some subjective adjustments based on a ones personal preference.

Biggs: I disagree. I think you may just have lower standards of women surrounding you. However, a 6 is a possibility and she has the potential, but she’s just too hefty and lumpy to earn that one. See the second picture for confirmation.

The best thing about being a man is that when you improve each of your traits, it often crosses into improvement of another and another and another. Lift weights, get stronger, become more confident, dominate socially. Dominate socially, nail that six-figure job interview, accrue wealth. Read da GBFM and others (48 Laws, Art of War, How to Win Friends & Influence People, etc.), study those principles, observe alphas (leaders, great men) in action around you, mimic the traits until they become part of your personality (fake it til you make it), dominate socially, slay poon.

So the science proves what we’ve known: Women respond to status like men respond to a chick with a nice face and banging body.

Ergo, women (like nurses, lawyers, execs) who work for male bosses are the equivalent of men who get to hang around all day long with bikini models, and are just as likely to cheat. Ergo, this is why women always clamor for education and better paying jobs — those things are the female equivalent of a guy getting the keys to the Playboy mansion.

Over the years I’ve been told I’m somewhat handsome yet I can also confirm that looks will only get you so far* – a ‘foot in the door’ e.g. more IOI’s or maybe women will actually start a conversation with you. However you still need game to get anywhere with these women. I used to wonder why a lot of attractive women would initially seem interested in me but would lose interest shortly after. The answer was I was good-looking but also a complete ass-kissing beta. Since discovering game last year the quality of women I’m getting has gone way up.

* = with the hottest women of course (7-10). Being a good looking beta will still get you action from 4-6’s. If you want them that is, personally I don’t.

To women, a mans looks might matter less – but OTHER women’s looks matter most. The best look for a man is having the best looking women on his arm. Preselection is the PIN to a pussy ATM.

Buddy’s wife is an absolute knock-out, a ‘close talker’ and could bend the ear off a brass monkey. I’d just stand at the bar – with her leaning her gorgeous cans against me and blabbing away for hours – and could pass a hat to collect phone numbers.

This seems right, which is why my whole “wife as social proof game” isn’t going to be worth much, if it’s worth anything. Most guys don’t even get a fat chick who would be willing to help them bang prettier women after 20 years of marriage, but a desperate fat chick isn’t really worth much, no matter how much lipstick you try to put on that pig.

I was going to end up with a desperate chick one way or another, because I was almost as bad as Elliot Rodger in the way I was waiting for girls to escalate things. I used to go talk to pretty girls, at least, but I hid my interest deeply, and just blathered about nothing until they eventually got bored and friend zoned me. Hell, two years of game, and I have apparently learned absolutely nothing, because I’m still doing that. OK, now that we have been talking for six months, let’s do something very tepid and ambiguous to kind of sort of maybe slant things in a slightly sexual direction.

I even did that with a goddamn stripper one time, and it took me a year to figure out that sitting around talking to her for five hours didn’t attract her. It was other stuff I did that attracted her, and I should have ramped it all up, and gone right for the heart of things much sooner. Instead, I just let it peter out and managed to get a stripper with a massively wet pussy to go back to seeing me as nothing more than a potential ATM machine, by sitting on my hands and waiting for her to invite me out of the club or some shit.

This attention from desperate girls thing has really been fucking with my head my whole life. You really can sit on your hands and get a girl to do most of the work if you’re attractive enough. If you’re REALLY attractive, like a rock star or something, you can even get hot girls doing this, but if you’re just on the attractive side of average, the only groupies you get flashing you their tits are fat chicks.

I have finally started to develop a viable plan for myself. I want to be that guy I was in high school who got a boner every 15 seconds, every time I caught a whiff of a pretty girl. I want to walk around with a raging hard-on for every attractive girl I see. I want to stand there leaking pre-cum while I flirt with them. I’ve been repressing my sexuality ever since the day I got ripped on for standing in front of the entire class with a boner while giving some speech, when the fact is every girl in my goddamn school was staring at my cock that day while all the guys stood there chanting “Boner! Boner! Boner!”

My God man, what an opportunity I pissed away. I’m not kidding. The entire fucking high school talked about my cock for like a month after that, and I just buried my head in shame instead of whipping that shit out there. You want to see Boner’s schlong? It’s hard for you baby.

The sluts I could have fucked. Argh!

I think it may be time to go back to that old hated nickname. People were calling me Boner for like 15 years after that day. What’s wrong with being Boner? Not a damn thing, but instead of standing up taller with a shit eating get some of this grin, I used to want to die when people called me that.

It’s funny in a pathetic way in retrospect. The entire school literally talking about my cock, and I thought I was an ugly duckling.

@sparks…so true. This is exactly my experience so far. I believe I am a bit older but only taken the red pill recently. But I am seeing the same result. And I too am losing my interest for the willing 4-6’s that still want to hang with me.

Either find an Amazon product with the picture on the cover [book, music album, dvd, etc], and post the Amazon link, or else find a jewtube video of it, and make sure that what you want happens to be the “teaser” photo for the video before you post the jewtube link. Examples:

I mentioned this on another recent thread, but it deserves repeating here: To the ancient Greeks [and then to the Romans after them], Eros [the male god of sexual “eroticsm”] was associated with the abstraction of FERTILITY, whereas the vessels within which he planted his seed [first Chaos, and then Psyche] were more associated with the abstraction of BEAUTY [or in the case of Chaos, more associated with Borderline Personality Disorder?]:

This point of view – that fertility is not to be associated with the female, but rather with the male – strikes me as being diametrically opposed to the traditional Christian view [summarized a century ago by Theodore Roosevelt] which associates fertility with the female:

Of course, Oswald Spengler was screaming bloody murder about this at roughly the same time as Roosevelt: “But now emerges the Ibsen woman, the comrade, the heroine of a whole megalopolitan literature from Northern drama to Parisian novel. Instead of children, she has soul-conflicts; marriage is a craft-art for the achievement of “mutual understanding.” It is all the same whether the case against children is the American lady’s who would not miss a season for anything, or the Parisienne’s who fears that her lover would leave her, or an Ibsen heroine’s who “belongs to herself” – they all belong to themselves and they are all unfruitful…

LIFO’ed about Oswald Spengler being even more brutal than Roosevelt on this subject.

Anyway, from the classical Greek [and then Roman] point of view [as opposed to the traditional Christian point of view], it’s the woman’s job to be BEAUTIFUL, whereas it’s the man’s job to step up to the plate and PUT THE BUNS IN HER OVEN!!!!!

“Serge Gainsbourg was not blessed with good looks. So how did he manage to seduce some of the worlds most beautiful women?

“I never actually had a relationship with him,” says Marianne Faithfull, who first met Serge in 1965. “But I sometimes wish I had. You could tell that anyone who slept with him would come away very satisfied indeed. Ha ha! He had a wonderful aura of quiet confidence around him, an odd mixture of shyness and arrogance.””

Poor little leftist, has no reply when confronted with scientific evidence, so as usual he brings out ad hominem attacks like he has learned from the media owners he drools after. Good little parrot. How about screaming “SEXISM!” too?

If she will disrespect her current [and former] lovers like that, then the day will come when she will disrespect YOU just like that. CHEATERS CHEAT. That’s what they do. Never allow yourself to develop feelings for a cheater. Hell, I’m not even sure that I would dump my load in a cheater’s birth canal. Wouldn’t want her genes in my children [even if just by accident]. Maybe dump it in her rectum instead.

Men’s “looks” have more to do with overall impression than actual physical attributes. I personally believe every man should look like a wooden carving of a Sioux warrior. Its a good look. Also very useful in keeping people from messing with you or sitting next to you on planes.

Lots of badly needed, straightforward reality in this article about attraction. However, you depart from the truth when it comes to your own personal interest/bias (just as the fems depart from the truth in areas that serve themselves). Your Number One Son attractant is —

“Psychosocial dominance (game).”

I wouldn’t disagree with this, tho it’s debatable. However, psychosocial dominance is gained by men by living through challenging and difficult circumstances, producing real growth. It is a GRADUAL process derived directly from life experience. Telling teenage boys that this male dominance can be short-cut and faked through Game techniques does not produce such dominance, just a quick-fix that leads to many problems later — including STDs, legal hells, and the guaranteed psychological inflation that results from young men artificially believing that they are something they really aren’t.

@ray
“psychosocial dominance is gained by men by living through challenging and difficult circumstances, producing real growth. It is a GRADUAL process derived directly from life experience. Telling teenage boys that this male dominance can be short-cut and faked through Game techniques does not produce such dominance”

You mean the game techniques of going out and putting yourself in challenging and difficult social circumstances, producing real growth over a gradual process derived directly from life experience they gather with every approach we encourage them to make?

You’re right, that probably WOULD help. I don’t really know what your point is though…do you?

Well there’s the obvious dissonance between the classical hero who had to go out and slay dragons [be they redcoats or frogs or injuns or jerries or whomever] in order to earn some social dominance, and the modern “heroes”, like Slick Willy Jefferson Blythe Clinton and Li’l Barry Soetoro Dunham Marshall Davis Reggie Love, who never put in an honest or productive day’s work in their entire lives, yet who have legions of hot wet gushing vaginas ready to accept their seed, simply because of their [and their Frankfurt School puppeteers’] mastery of anti-civilization psychological warfare techniques.

his point might be that building character thru developing skill in useful meaningful areas of a man’s life has greater depth and value than being extremely socially skilled in bs (club chics) #so see you at the bus stop with for more know it all, expert sarcasm

B-but CH…what if I get down to 6% bodyfat from 7%??? This one time a girl smiled at me when I left the gym so I know this game stuff doesn’t matter. It’s all looks. I know this good-looking guy and girls come up to him at the bar when I’m standing beside him being a quiet chode sipping my drink and feeling sorry for myself because of my shitty genetics and he has SEX with these girls!! So ok maybe looks don’t “matter” but I mean, they definitely DO matter.

“People who understand the dangers of an overabundant diet of mass-media images can stop gorging on Playboy, People, Sex and the City, or Dancing with the Stars.”

That’s one way to look at it. I know a guy who’s settling down with an average 6 looking plain jane wife and he’s told me he’s avoiding going out around hot girls because seeing them makes him feel like his plain 6 wife is ugly when he gets home and wants to just move to the suburbs to isolate himself and avoid temptation and he hopes his libido dies off soon so he won’t be tempted to fuck around.

And that’s what the PC crowd would like us to do. Because to them all those models and shit are magical fantasy beings that don’t actually exist, because they know they could never get them. Every one of the models in some magazine is a girl that’s out there living her life day to day and is fucking SOMEONE. If you have some decent game and find a way to get access to the places that girls like that spend their time, there’s no reason that guy fucking them can’t be you.

So I choose to look at it as motivation. Instead of settling for a 6 and avoiding looking at other girls who make her seem ugly, I choose to keep looking for a 9 or 10 who IS the girl who makes other girls seem ugly to me.

you are confusing ‘looks’ with ‘confidence’. being good-looking does help your confidence levels, but being good-at-something does too. and confidence on a man IS hot.
stop sipping your drink and feeling sorry for yourself. redirect your energy into self-improvement, not necessarily at the gym. you can be the worlds best starcraft player and a 10 somewhere will want you.
what CH says here is absolutely true, but there are 3 minor caveats:
1. height (most short men have an obvious issue with self-confidence)
2. race (most non-white men have a visible inferiority complex, especially in traditionally white societies but not vice-versa)
3. comb-overs

yeah ch… well for the height I saw a study where people perceived total leadership to be higher for taller men also in that equation were perceived power and maturity..it’s funny however that most of the super-powerful men in the world are short old and ugly…but perception is reality with sex…

@K
“but being good-at-something does too. and confidence on a man IS hot.”

Agreed, but the problem is that confidence in one area generally doesn’t translate to another area. Take that super confident bartender that slays poon every night and put him in a grocery store during the day with a hot girl standing in the cereal aisle and he’s as shy and full of anxiety as the next guy. And that’s a guy who’s job involves flirting with women, so he has a better shot at carrying that confidence over than most people. Take a guy who’s like, an amazing rock-climber and has scaled Mount Everest. That guy is a badass boss, but at the bar he’s likely going to be sipping his beer too scared to say hello to the cute blonde beside him.

I see it every night out. In fact one of the reasons I don’t really hate on AFC guys I meet at the bar and like to randomly introduce girls to them, is because most of the time those guys are actually really cool guys, in their particular element. I met one dude who told me he taught in a foreign country for a while and knew all this cool shit about the history there and had all these badass life experiences and I was like man, a guy would be LUCKY to meet this dude. But a chick was checking him out and he refused to accept that she would be into him and was too scared to approach her so I had to introduce them and even then he dropped the ball and didn’t go home with her.

A lot of guys try to get really good at things that aren’t “talking to women” simply hoping that they get find the loophole to get around having to “talk to women” because “talking to women” and putting their ego on the line and risking rejection etc. is a lot scarier to them than spending a few more hours at the office earning $ or a couple more hours at the gym lifting weights hoping that being good at those things will help them avoid having to “talk to women” to get women.

We’re all kings of our comfort zone…it’s just a lot more productive for getting laid, to make your comfort zone be “talking to women”. :)

> “Bust your ass for paper during the day, lift during the evening, go out and live it up at night. Profit.”

Scray, I’m gonna disagree with you here – you will NEVER be all you can be in your Day Life if you’re out getting drunk and getting high and chasing tail all the damned time in your Night Life. If you wanna get ahead in Day Life, then I’d strongly urge you to practice Day Game and party in the “afternoon” – picnics, cookouts, pool parties, a discrete lunch date in an upscale hotel restaurant followed by a brutal banging session in a room with a view just above the restaurant.

Or even just start your dates earlier in the evening – meet her at the restaurant at 5:30PM or 6:00PM, get your wine & your cocktails & your salad & your ribeye in her early on, then skip the movie, get back to her place, fuck like animals for an hour, and be sound asleep by 10PM or 11PM. It’s so much better than calling it quits at 2AM or 3AM or later.

And if you won’t believe me, then try to heed the advice of one of the greatest Ladies’ Men who ever walked the face of the earth: “Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

Shit damn, girlfriend, are you coming back down off of your ovulation high and bottoming out right before your period? Normal gals know “AFC” as “American Football Conference”.

PS: Midol is your friend.

Zombie Shane, Average Frustrated Chump is an old expression in PUA/manosphere circles. No need for you to insult YaReally, he was right in pointing out that you should know it; you comment many times a day, for a very long time, so if you don’t know what AFC means that indicates you talk but don’t listen.

Here’s the thing. I have pretty much the same view of politics as you. But I don’t try to turn every discussion of game into a bashing of men who haven’t “put buns in the oven” and of women who don’t have children yet. When you do nothing but that, it’s clear that your intent is simply to use the discussion for your own ends, not contribute to it. It becomes even more obvious when you post video after video to make people look at your posts. That may give you some satisfaction, showing yourself to be morally superior, but do you think that it makes people listen? In fact, it is more likely to hurt than to do any good. The best way to damage a cause is to promote it in a bad way.

Yo Ya, I’m kind of having an inner game sticking point and need guidance on where to go from here.

This past few days I had a Game meltdown. All my leads went cold for the most part and it’s this vicious cycle where when one lead goes cold, the bad emotions/neediness caused by that spills into my interactions with the other leads and it keeps going from there.

Now it’s to the point where I’m not in this happier headspace like I was in early June when I started the challenge. It’s like I’m on a revenge auto pilot that either needs validation from other girls to prove that the leads that have gone cold are foolish in fading away or just my new interactions have me in a negative headspace.

The same thing happened to me last year and I think it’s from deviating away from the fundamentals (at least with daygame). Whenever I get momentum I start winging my interactions and get sloppy with the texting or I stop playing shit cool because in my mind I’m like “Oh she didn’t respond in three hours? Fuck this bitch I can just walk out the door and find another…Next!”

So on one hand it’s liberating to feel this way, on the other I don’t have true abundance yet (just “paper abundance”) so it’s counterproductive. One example is asking for too much compliance too soon because my ego/confidence demands it.

So do I keep fucking going and just play it smart ie stop deviating from the fundamentals that make me initially successful?

Or should I fallback and regroup a bit and get my mind right first?

I did the latter last year but I used that as an excuse to not take action. Id like to keep plowing and get this sorted but past week has been kind of rough. I’ve improved too much since then and I’ve gone too far. I don’t want to let the momentum slip and damn, dealing with all these emotions is what I need to learn how to do.

I know logically there will be future girls and I will no doubt improve, but emotionally it’s hard to believe it in the face of negative feedback.

i haven’t been following your progress, but this comment struck me. dry spells happen to every man. i once had eight leads go cold on me within the span of two weeks. those were eight hard-earned number closes that fizzled one after the other. it didn’t feel great. but at the time i intuitively knew that the best way to get out of that rut was to get out, period. i took a few weeks from macking girls and a short trip to recharge my batteries. came back, within a week had a new girl in my bed. the time off allowed me to recapture that careless cad attitude that had gone awol.

@immoralgables
Back off slightly (like a week, two weeks max) and regroup, then head out with a gameplan. You already know the solutions (you’ve stopped running fundamentally solid game), so more time off isn’t going to help you come up with solutions because you already HAVE them. So you don’t need a month or two off to “find yourself” or figure your shit out…you already have a theoretical gameplan, you just can’t execute it right now because your ego is butthurt and it’s keeping you from executing properly.

Personally I give myself time to be butthurt. I learned it from chicks lol A girl breaks up and what does she do? She vents it all out to her GFs and downs a bucket of ice cream and cries and shit for a couple days, then a week later she’s just fine. She gave herself time to be sad which tells your brain that it’s okay to be sad sometimes. Guys tend to bottle it up and then next thing you know they’re failing out of school months later because they’re still depressed over that breakup but telling themselves they aren’t.

The key, in my mind, is to allow yourself time to grieve and be butthurt and accept those emotions, embrace them and express them in a safe way (whether it’s confiding in a close friend, venting on a pickup forum, blasting angry music in your headphones, whatever), and then move on and start over. So back off for a week and let yourself be butthurt, then accept that your reality has changed and it’s time to start over with the fundamentals, and then hit the field again with that monkey off your back.

When you get back into the field, start small. Accept that you suck and you have to start over. Do little missions, just get into sets, just practice cold reads, celebrate all the little shit. Try to stay in a set for 10 minutes not even trying to fuck the girl, and just celebrate that. Set a goal like opening 20 girls in a night and bailing after 30 seconds. Open with stuff that will purposely get you shot down. Try to get slapped lol Just set little goals that help you practice the fundamentals and don’t have the validation-based outcome requirement of “this needs to lead to a good response and a solid phone number and sex”. You’re starting over, revisiting the fundamentals, going back to your foundation and re-enforcing it from the ground up.

You’ll get back up to where you were eventually, and your foundation will be even stronger for it.

If it’s any consolation, I lost my favorite girl last week (she boyfriended up but our sexxin was so good that I figure I’ll hear from her within 6 months lol) and fucked up with a new girl (ran sloppy game, zero sexual vibe, friendzoned myself, rookie shit lol), so I was super bummed the first couple days and just threw myself into my work while I let myself grieve at the loss, and there’s still a little hint of feeling blue right now, a week later. I may even be a little down this weekend. But that’s okay, because hey, now I can open with “Hey girls, I just got dumped. Tell me I’m beautiful. :(” lol and I’ll probably meet some cute chick or have some fun interactions. Maybe I won’t get laid, maybe I won’t even get a number, hell maybe I’ll just spend the night trying to shake off the cobwebs and trying to force myself to approach.

But the next week will be better, and the next will be better, and in a month I’ll be right back to where I was when I was kicking ass. The game will put you through the highest highs and the lowest lows…learn to love the lows and reframe them as opportunities to grow stronger, because the alternative to that up and down rollercoaster is a life of monotonous mediocre predictability.

IG, welcome to the Nihilism of the Dark Arts. You play with the Voodoo for too long, and that Ol’ Black Magic is gonna start taking its toll on your immortal soul. Dumping your seed purposelessly in rectum after rectum after rectum ain’t the Living of a Life, it’s the Dying of a Death.

from him to me:
retweeted that just the other day, it’s obvious but i never really thought that the densensitising activity of observing dominant men had the same effect on women as beautiful women do on men.
love this shit

from me to him:
and herein lies the greatest problem modern man will face, ruthless men who hunger only for money and power, in positions of power and lots of money, will dictate how women will be presented in various forms of adult entertainment media, which in turn will be watched by hundreds of millions of men and affect the quality of their happiness with the women they have around them. photoshop and spray tans aren’t real life, but that’s not to say slim, fit and tanned women don’t exist either, but the deification of people like miranda kerr, giselle bundchen, heidi klum, etc is going to be the end of man and civilisation as we know it.

as you’ve stated in previous posts, there are a very finite number of worthy breeding stock in the anglosphere, those who are yet untainted from the poisonous words of the lord of lies and the citadel upon which those lies are the bedrock. with this finite resource being the commodity that it is, and the extremely competitive world of men being powerful in a socially dominant kinda way (murders and executions… excuse me?… mergers and acquisitions!), and given the top tier employment streams you’ve identified in your self-assess alpha test, i have 2 questions for you if you would kindly consider them:

1. do you agree that a world of fake beauty as portrayed by media will have a negative psychological impact on men which will ruin their happiness? (corollary: do you agree that a world filled with movies and tv shows depicting socially dominant men will have a negative psychological impact on women which will ruin their happiness?)

2. do you have any advice for us in terms of reaching for employment or business excellence in terms of whether you are a doctor or a plumber, this is how to do it like a boss? (i know plenty of beta-doctors who couldn’t fuck a nurse if they sedated one, but if that’s who you are, how do you assume your alpha male birthright in that stream of alpha male employment?)

> “will dictate how women will be presented in various forms of adult entertainment media”

I was noticing that a very substantial percentage of all the videos on the front page of RedTube right now feature chimpanzee male to human female bestiality. Is the RedTube popularity algorithm honestly revealing what most RedTube users want to see, or is RedTube finagling with the algorithm in order to promote an agenda of chimpanzee/human bestiality?

Yep – nothing else is important. This sums up life – everything else is fluff… You can say it in different ways, but that is it, in a nutshell… You can deny it, but all that does is prove you are a fool…

“[Struck off the rolls for spreading her legs for an inmate she was counseling former psychologist Bobbie Maree Bergmeier] continues to be in a relationship with Client A, who was paroled in March this year and lives with Ms Bergmeier’s mother. She is working as a behaviour support practitioner at the Mercy Centre and is studying to be a primary school teacher.”

Primary school teacher! LOL. What did Socrates get condemned to death for again?

I’ve been looking out for articles where I can improve my game from, and this particular blog certainly ranks high among all such sites. Whereas other seduction/PUA forums mainly focus on lines and routines, this one has made me realize there’s more to game than just remembering a couple of routines. Cheers to the author(s). Would appreciate an article on gaming Indian chicks who, by the way, are known to be egotistical prudes.

My question is – Are there any other sites that provide some high value articles just the way this one does? Appreciate any suggestions from the author(s) and other commenters.

Just because I’m amused… hey neocon fluffer, Vox also disagrees with the official story of 9/11, to put it mildly.

You are very invested in the sanctity of the government’s story. Who you shilling for?

Now, turning to intelligent people reading along, this is what I’ve been saying here about the WTC 1, 2, and 7 collapse: I never speculated on who was involved, or why, or how. Because fight now those would be pointless speculations. What I did say, is that based on stark-fucking clear evidence, there is no way in hell that those three steel skyscrapers collapsed symmetrically and at freefall speed without assistance from controlled demolition. I looked at whatever conspiracy-debunking materials I could find, starting with NIST’s report, and they are laughable bullshit.

So, what I say about 9/11 is not who, why, or how, but what. What happened?

If you want a starting point for this kind of thing, ignore wild conspiracy theory nonsense on the internet. Instead go to Youtube and look up “9/11: Explosive Evidence, Experts Speak Out” posted by AE911Truth (architects and engineers for 911 truth). It is a 58-minute video. It was made by building professionals who examine facts related to building structures.

In my opinion, anyone who wants to stand by an opinion on this matter ought to take an hour to watch that video.

Now back to wolfowitzfnder:

** SMACK !!! the neocon monkey across his face with a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal !!! **

I’m always skeptical of studies that gather data based on what women will tell them.

There was a study several years ago in which one segment of it asked a control-group of college-aged people for n-count while a second group was asked the same question but also informed that their answers would be verified via polygraph.

Shockingly, the self-reported n-count of college-aged women was significantly higher when they were informed that their answers would be verified via polygraph. There was no such discrepancy in n-count (higher nor lower) when it came to men in both groups.

*******

Back to the first study quoted in this post about men’s looks not affecting a woman’s commitment: though this is less important than male dominance – as demonstrated by the same study (not to mention personal experience)- the heartisian acolytes shouldn’t conclude that looks are even *relatively* insignificant. Perhaps women are merely less loathe to admit (to themselves as well as to data-collectors) that power matters. My own view? Dominance is indeed important, though male looks are not so far behind – especially itoday where 85-90% of American men are manboobed herbs.

It would also be interesting to have a subanalysis of women’s commitment levels after viewing sexy men based on where the woman is in her menstrual cycle.

“Dominance is indeed important, though male looks are not so far behind – especially itoday where 85-90% of American men are manboobed herbs.”

Way to undermine your own argument. If this is true then the outcomes will be skewed in America. You still haven’t proven that 85% of manboobed herbs are not socially dominant or that spending 5 hours a day increasing your social and psychological dominance is more important than improving your looks.

Real women … do not look as attractive once the mind has been calibrated to assume the centerfolds are normal

I’m not sure it’s porn men need to be wary of conditioning themselves to when Tinder has the same effect.

In fact Tinder is essentially an app designed to effect this attractiveness calibrating experiment. It’s no secret that men prioritize looks higher than women, but looks are still a high priority for women and I’d argue that apps like Tinder are calibrating women to a higher standard of normal in exactly the same way as porn does for men.

Also, I should point out that the benchmark calibration of normalcy test is fundamentally flawed when they conflate Playboy and Penthouse models with ‘porn’.

Porn is a lot more than just hot, gorgeous porn star archetypes. I doubt the men searching for BBWs or midget porn really consider those body types normative no matter how many times they view them.

My aunt lent me her California beach house last summer. She lives out of state with her husband and kids and was going to be too busy to use it. I’d never been, but I was told, by members of the family, that it had the most beautiful view of the Pacific Ocean. I make decent money, but my aunt is drug dealer rich. Her two town cars in the garage were a Rolls Royce and an Austin Healey convertible. Ya know…something basic.

Anyways, I went up with a girl on the first weekend. The other homes looked decent, but pulling up to the driveway, I could hear her gasp. She probably got wet on the spot. We went inside, got situated, and went onto the patio with drinks. It truly is the best view I’ve ever seen in my life. We enjoyed the sound of sea gulls, the wind, and the crashing of the waves. The only thing she said to break the silence were derivatives of “I like you”. Before we could even finish our drinks, she took my pants down and blew me. I felt like Magnum, P.I. staying at Robin Masters’.

I brought up seven other girls that summer, with none going more than twice. It was an exact science. Pull up, set the bags inside, let her ogle. Get drinks, listen to the ocean, blowjob, dinner and more drinks. Bang. Bang. Bang. Rinse and repeat.

Girls who were feminine and sweet got to go that second time. Girls who irritated me got the bench. Here’s where dread game came in handy…the girls that texted and got no response knew where I was and knew I wasn’t there alone. They didn’t become infuriated and lose my number…they were just persistent until *I* gave in and I texted them back, turning them into my harem in the fall/winter lineup.

It is ALL about power. My humor, charm, and good looks have always gotten me a steady stream of pussy. But you introduce a mansion, a couple nice cars, and the illusion that “Hey…you keep dating this guy and this could all be yours”, and there is no aphrodisiac more powerful.

This was just the illusion of power, fellas. It’d be an even sweeter deal if that beach house was mine. As for Aunt Sally, if she ever phones to talk to her favorite nephew, that call will never be screened.

@immoral I have one for you. Met tall, 27 year old buxom Vietnamese girl on Tinder. Smoking hot from photos…a princess from her texts. I text gamed her alternating between asshole and then some beta provider, then asshole….never taking anything she said seriously and suggesting a meet up.

She waffled a few times finally agreeing. I was persistent without being needy. I was flying back from my business trip. I suggested she come over. She didnt’ dismiss the idea, just balked at it saying she didnt’ know me. “You will”.

We arranged a meet up at her hotel. She was dressed smoking hot–tight elegant dress, hair pulled back. I kissed her on check, then went for the lips right away. She turned her head and I nibbled her ear. She laughed.

We had a quick chat, she had a drink, bar was closing, I suggested going to my club which has a great photo exhibit. We went. She was hesitant about holding my hand. After the tour where I DHV’d her, teased her, then she sat down, had another drink and sat closer.

I suggested my place. She laughed said ok. We went back, she was a little drunk but ok. Within 10 minutes I had her dress off and tits out. She was insane. The LMR was token and almost part of a role-play…she wanted me to rip her dress off which I practically did. Banged her twice with her telling me: “FUCK ME HARD”…then riding me.

Then she left. Wants to meet up again. Said she’s a “Sex addict”….

The whole time I kept my frame. At one point she asked my age. I told her. She was totally cool with this.

The point of this is that from the get go…I kept my frame and wasn’t that concerned if we didnt’ meet.

The giveaway was when she texted back to say “I want to meet you but I won’t come over to your place.” I knew it was on.

Solid 8. She got a bit needy asking if I thought she was fat. I just laughed…told her she looked like a Vargas girl.

@immoral I ran what would otherwise have been considered bad game: I initiated the chats…I followed up when I didn’t hear from her…I agreed to meet with her at her hotel after she blew off coming to my home.

But…each time I held my frame…I laughed off her shit-tests….I demonstrated high value…I could see this was all coming from a place of insecurity and nervousness. She claimed she’d never used Tinder before and had all these men hitting on her but I was the only person she’d ever met….

All this sounds like the seductive idealization of the Borderline…so I recognized this for what it was.

In the end I banged her…twice…and she was a panting mess. She was also built like a Vargas girl…not fat…buxom, like Jane Mansfield…hour-glass figure, big tits, round ass.

So the learning here is that it’s confidence and intent that really matter….as well as technique.

If I had not responded…or been aloof…I would never have banged her because she had too many other things going on.

After I banged her, I suggested we meet up and bang before she left…she flaked on that…then sent me a wall of text saying that she was addicted to her work, didn’t want a boyfriend and didn’t like seeing people she had fun with so wished me well. Me: “Ok. Safe flight”. She replied again thanking me.

I showed this to my mates….they laughed at the wall of text and my polite but short reply.

I’ve been experimenting a bit with some of these concepts to see what works. Sometimes aloof asshole game doesn’t work on all girls. Sometimes you have to show interest and ask them out a few times before they agree.

Same result (new girls consistently boning pretty much immediately after they enter your place and persisting when you ignore them because they know you have other girls over and they wish they were the ones being allowed to come over) can be duplicated in a shitty little apartment.

That’s not to take away from how awesome it feels to have a swank place and if that’s something a guy wants to obtain for himself one day, that’s cool, he should definitely go for it.

But for the guys who don’t have it, understand that you don’t need it. You can get the same results by just running solid game and learning to create stronger emotions in girls and learning to spot and create escalation opportunities faster. Sure, it takes some work to learn, but that mansion and those cars took work to earn.

FR: This one was really by the book so I won’t go into too much detail, but the interesting thing is that I used a tactic I hadn’t used before (RSD Ciaran’s shock and awe)

– matched on tinder, pushed quickly for meetup she agreed
– hb7.5 very cute girl, acts shy / hard to get, extremely high ASD kind of girl
– drink at bar near my place, then walk around my hood
– very high ASD, won’t sit or stand very close to me, but I can tell she’s attracted
– go up to my place for my cigarettes, end up staying to listen to music / drink
– wont kiss me the first couple times i try, I act nonplussed about it
– I notice she lets me rest my hands on her next to her pussy, on her ass etc. and we both have work early next morning but she’s not leaving. I get the feeling that this is an extremely high ASD girl who wants to be dominated by a strong guy
– I caveman her for the make out, it works. she’s moaning and dry humping me
– Keep escalating, get to second but not third base. keeps rejecting escalation to her pussy but not leaving or stopping the hookup. I remember Ciaran’s shock and awe tactic and figure it’s exactly the right time for it
– as per shock and awe, keep telling her shes so hot i can’t help myself around her, its all her fault etc. tell her i don’t want to do anything she doesnt want to do so she knows I would never force her to do anything
– shock and awe works very well and allows me to push the escalation much farther, start fingering her pussy. she moans “what do you want”, i say “i want you in every way”, shes moaning and shit. I think I was supposed to answer that I want to fuck her but I didnt get the hint
– finally she says “do you want to fuck me” and i take this to mean this is your window do it now or never. so i basically pull the trigger, rip her pants off and get in her.
– at this point no more asd, shes totally into it, we fuck like animals
– sent her comfort text in the morning. i actually liked her so I’d love to hang out with her again. she texted back so hopefully we’ll hang out again soon

I’m curious, has anyone else employed shock and awe, either successfully or not successfully? I haven’t seen a lot of field reports that mention it. Would love to hear YaReally’s take on it

@Kant
@Kant
I’ve only ever heard of Shock & Awe used in the context of opening (Apocalypse Opener by Ciaran). You did everything right but I would call your push at the end just normal LMR diffusing. Like at that stage you’re not building Attraction or anything, it’s already there that’s why she’s cuddled up to you kissing you, at that stage all the work has been done by your solid game leading up to it and now you’re just diffusing some Last Minute Resistance.

The method you used is particular to that girl, some girls get super turned on hearing a guy say he wants them and can’t resist them and god you’re so sexy and god I want to fuck you so bad bla bla. Like that’s a big turn-on for them when a guy says it, it makes them feel sexy and desirable etc. I actually ditched a fuckbuddy a couple months back because she loved that stuff and she had gotten annoying to me (showed up for a bone session completely hammered, tried to stay when I told her she had to go because I had work to do, etc.) so I didn’t want to tell her “oh babe I want you so bad mmmm” because I was actually thinking “fuck you’re annoying” lol

Anyway, when you get to the LMR stage, at that point you’re feeling out what her personal blueprint is and calibrating to it. Does she want more Comfort first? Is she worried you’re not going to call her tomorrow? Does she trust you? Does she want you to state that you want her? Does she want you to play harder to get and tease more? Does she want you to just ravage her? Does she want you to play aloof and degrade her and make her chase you? Is she just shy/nervous and needs a bit more time to relax? Does she need a venue change? etc. etc.

You hit the right blueprint for this chick, so it worked out great. But what one girl views as a sexy turn-on, another girl may view as needy desperation, so don’t go in thinking “I have this Shock & Awe technique that’ll get me the lay if she puts up some LMR”, go in thinking “I have this Shock & Awe technique I can try out but if it’s not working there are a bunch of other things I can try instead” and flip through your “rolodex” of techniques till you find the one that hits home for that particular girl.

Breakdown of your FR so you and other guys learning can fully understand just how much you did right here because this was all solid:

“- matched on tinder, pushed quickly for meetup she agreed”

Your first ioi from her was her matching you on Tinder. Second ioi was that she agreed to meetup so fast. If I get to this stage I assume she’s either a really outgoing social girl, or horny as fuck. Usually by the convo I can tell which, but I’ll poke a bit in person to figure it out so I know what I’m dealing with (an outgoing social girl who just has no qualms meeting up with guys she doesn’t really know will often take more demonstrating value and warming up to get solid sexual Attraction, whereas a horny girl won’t take much).

Okay so that tells you she’s probably not a super ougoing social girl which means she’s the horny type who’s already into your look, but you’re just going to have to spend some time with her so she gets comfortable and then probably diffuse some LMR. Whereas with a less shy girl who’s more open about sex you might only have to just bust on her and tease her and build some good emotions and then lead her home to bang with no resistance.

“- drink at bar near my place, then walk around my hood”

Here you handled solid logistics (picking a bar near your place) and did a venue change (two venues), so you’re teaching her brain “when you enter new environments with me, nothing bad happens, so it’s okay to enter new environments with me”. You’re already stacking the deck in your favor compared to the guy who picks one restaraunt to stay at all evening and it’s on the other side of the city from the place where he intends to bang her.

Also drinks and a walk let you build a lot more comfort/rapport and display your personality more than going to a movie in a theater where you can’t talk and then driving her (less travelling time isolated together plus you have to pay attention to the road) to a formal high-end restaraunt where you can’t kick back and let loose together.

“- very high ASD, won’t sit or stand very close to me, but I can tell she’s attracted”

If you were a disgusting homeless person who smelled with rotting teeth, she wouldn’t even be in the room anymore, she’d have left. So if she’s still there, you have Attraction, but her avoiding jumping into the lion’s den tells you you’re going to have a night of diffusing LMR ahead of you lol

A smokin’ hot 9 or 10 will also often not sit or stand very close to you, but usually that’s to see what you’ll do and how you’ll handle it. My buddy and I took home a 2-set and the hotter one completely thwarted him by sitting on the corner part of an L shaped couch, like the one seat where you can’t easily sit beside her, and he had no idea how to recover lol She liked him, but she was hot and she just wanted to see what he would do if she made it difficult for him. Mystery talks about this kind of thing a LOT.

Your girl isn’t a super hot confident cocky chick who’s going to play games like that, and you have evidence to support that she’s just shy/frigid so you can extrapolate that she just needs some diffusing…and more importantly, because she’s still there, she WANTS you to diffuse all that for her. She’s HOPING you figure it out because she can’t help you with it (ASD).

“- go up to my place for my cigarettes, end up staying to listen to music / drink”

Perfect “let’s watch a movie” pull to your place. She can tell herself “oh we just went up to get cigarettes and it “just happened”. Even your wording is “end up staying to listen to music / drink” Because it feels more natural like you guys just “ended up” staying up there.

Again this is very solid compared to a guy who’s like “so uhhh you wanna come up?” and gets the “What are we gonna’ do?” and he freezes up because he’s like “uhh shit, I just want to bone but I guess I can’t say that ummm…” lol

“- wont kiss me the first couple times i try, I act nonplussed about it”

Solid handling of it. I get the cheek all the time. You just play it unreactive like you have no fucks to give instead of being butthurt or apologizing or making it weird, and then try again a few min later. If she’s still there after you’ve gotten the cheek, that’s her telling you “I’m cool with this, I WANT to make out with you, but you haven’t handled the thing that’s holding me back from being able to do it yet, please figure this puzzle out so we can make out!!” If she hated you she would make up an excuse to leave or shut down so hard that it gets so awkward you have to offer to call her a cab.

Compare that to a lot of guys who will freak out and feel “rejected” because they didn’t get the kiss on the first try and panic or apologize or DISCUSS it (good god) etc. I have a buddy who keeps doing this, he’s scared to go for the kiss because he might get the cheek and I’m like dude I’ve gotten the cheek from a girl like 20x in one night before we finally make out and hooked up. It’s no big deal, she’s just not quite ready yet but if she sticks around then she’s into it, she just needs some more work is all.

“- I notice she lets me rest my hands on her next to her pussy, on her ass etc. and we both have work early next morning but she’s not leaving. I get the feeling that this is an extremely high ASD girl who wants to be dominated by a strong guy”

Probably a good read. I like to caveman for the makeout in these situs, but then I’ll calibrate based on how she responds to that for whether to keep cavemanning through to sex so I don’t accidentally come off all rapey lol Like if I caveman the kiss and she loves it and then I pin her against the wall and she loves that, then I bite her neck and ravage her etc. and she’s loving it all then cool, caveman away. But if I caveman her on the kiss and she likes it but she goes back to being super shy or I pin her against the wall and that’s where she kind of freezes up and isn’t enthusiastically consenting to it, I back off and recalibrate and try a more sensual approach.

“- I caveman her for the make out, it works. she’s moaning and dry humping me”

So this tells you she likes the caveman stuff. VS if she only went along with the makeout and that was it. Her throwing in a moan and dry hump is her way of communicating “I really like this, this is the type of sex I want to have, even if we aren’t quite having that sex at this point, this is what I’m into and want more of when we DO have sex” without having to verbalize it.

“- Keep escalating, get to second but not third base. keeps rejecting escalation to her pussy but not leaving or stopping the hookup. I remember Ciaran’s shock and awe tactic and figure it’s exactly the right time for it”

Classic PUA tactic is “fall back to the last stage of stuff she was okay with and do that stage for another 10 minutes, then try pushing forward again. Rinse and repeat until it works then rinse and repeat it for the next stage until you get to the actual lay.”

Her rejecting the pussy play can be a physical thing like not quite being turned on enough to be dying for it (rinse, repeat technique handles that), or wanting to be teased a bit more first (kind of related to the last reason), or it can be a mental thing where she has one last puzzle to unlock and needs you to say or do something that disarms that last puzzle.

In your case you tried showing massive sexual intent, but you also threw in a lot of really good stuff that isn’t really Shock & Awe related, which is the part I mainly wanted to break down:

“- as per shock and awe, keep telling her shes so hot i can’t help myself around her, its all her fault etc.”

Massive sexual intent here and blaming her for your Attraction. Classic stuff, this part is using the Shock & Awe concepts but usually you’d use it as the opener. Like a super-direct “wow, hold up, I had to come say hi, you’re phenomenal, bla bla” basically. I’m not super well-versed in it though so maybe Ciaran wrote about using it during LMR and I’m just not aware.

“tell her i don’t want to do anything she doesnt want to do so she knows I would never force her to do anything”

This is building comfort/trust and similar to Riker’s 3 Rules where you’re letting her know that you have self control. It’s verbally communicating the same thing you communicate when you back off rinse, repeat. Like a lot of times a girl will give you the cheek or push your hand away from her pussy or whatever just to see “is this a guy who, when I indicate that I’m not cool with something, he’ll back off and I can subsequently let go and feel safe allowing myself to be sexual with him because he’s shown me that if we go too far out of my comfort zone he’ll be aware of that and calibrate and back off? Or is this a guy who doesn’t get subtle signals of discomfort and tries to just plow through ignoring how I’m feeling and will basically end up raping me and I should get the fuck out of here?”

So you’re basically verbalizing that you’re the first type here, but you’ve also already demonstrated that you’re the first type by not freaking out when she won’t kiss you and by not just pushing her hand out of the way and trying to finger her despite her resistance…Riker’s 3 Rules is a similar concept. So between the two of those things, you’ve very thoroughly communicated to her “I am confident and persistent, but I’m also calibrated and won’t make this a bad experience for you, you can trust me”, which I would say is a big part of what led her to now grant you access to her pussy. You’ve basically communicated “this will be fun, don’t worry”.

“- shock and awe works very well and allows me to push the escalation much farther, start fingering her pussy. she moans “what do you want””

This is basically instantly the indicator that she wants you to dirty talk and tell her all the sexy things you want to do to her etc. I’ll usually make these things really dominant caveman things to see how she reacts to my just describing that stuff. If she’s into it then I know what type of sex she likes, if she’s not then I can calibrate to that and maybe I have to be sensual with her or maybe she wants to do the teasing etc.

“i say “i want you in every way”, shes moaning and shit. I think I was supposed to answer that I want to fuck her but I didnt get the hint”

lol ya. No biggie, it’s all a done deal at this point. She just wanted to hear like “mmmm I want to fuck you SO bad…I want to bend you over this–” stuff.

“- finally she says “do you want to fuck me” and i take this to mean this is your window do it now or never. so i basically pull the trigger, rip her pants off and get in her.”

Because she asks specifically “Do you want to fuck me?” that means for whatever reason she loves hearing the words “I want to fuck you” from a guy, so if you bang in the future just make sure you repeat this kind of stuff…act like she’s turning you on and making you want to fuck her so bad etc. She basically gets to feel like your sexy stripper teasing and turning you on and hijacking your brain, so it’s a bit of a fantasy roleplay for her, and probably balances out her normally shy demeanor (ie – in bed when she trusts the guy she gets to let loose and feel sexy instead of during the day where she has to feel repressed etc.).

I would encourage her to do more of this, like next time when she’s dry humping you and stuff TELL her “mmm I love when you do such and such, god you turn me on bla bla” and actually reward her for the things she’s doing, it’ll help bring her out of her shell more. I like girls who dress in sexy outfits/lingerie/etc. so I make sure to reward them if they do that stuff for me. Like if I have a shy girl who dresses pretty plain, but she’s thrown on some sexy underwear under her jeans because she WANTS to feel “naughty” but is just shy/nervous about it, as soon as I see that I’ll tell her they’re sexy and she looks so good in them and I bet she’d look so hot in bla bla lingerie/colors/outfit/hairstyle/etc. that I like.

“- at this point no more asd, shes totally into it, we fuck like animals”

Deservedly so. You handled everything solid…from stacking the deck in your favor, to calibrating on the fly. Well done!

“- sent her comfort text in the morning. i actually liked her so I’d love to hang out with her again. she texted back so hopefully we’ll hang out again soon”

Good stuff. Especially with a shy girl who’s stepping out of her comfort zone, you want to make sure she doesn’t feel used/cheap/slutty after the hookup so you don’t want to play aloof and not txt her for a few days. Get on that shit right away so she can put her “does he think I’m a slut? Did he just use me for sex?” worries at ease.

“I’m curious, has anyone else employed shock and awe, either successfully or not successfully? I haven’t seen a lot of field reports that mention it. Would love to hear YaReally’s take on it”

Like I say, I understand it as an Opener primarily. I’m not a big fan of using it to Open because it’s just not really congruent to my vibe (I tend to go more sarcastic/asshole and skeptical of her and let her slowly win me over VS being bowled over by her from the get-go), but I’ll drop similar stuff in once she’s won me over…like when I go for the makeout I’ll often say stuff like “I can’t resist, I’ve been wanting to do this all night, god it’s like you’ve hijacked my brain” etc. and I’ll use it in bed if the girl is into it (“mmm I can’t even think straight when you look at me like that…”) etc.

I’d say the main thing with it is to just make sure it’s congruent by using it on girls you are legitimately super attracted to. Like Opening with it on a 6 that you’re just running through the motions, it’ll come off as more of a used car salesman badgering vibe. But if you see a girl that’s your own personal smokeshow and use it on her, it’s going to be super congruent to you and your sub-communications and that congruency is going to win her over.

Tyler describes it as your thoughts, words and actions all being in alignment. Opening with Shock & Awe on an average/unimpressive girl means your words and actions are doing one thing but your thoughts aren’t aligned with them. But doing it on a turbo hottie is going to align your thoughts, words and actions and get better results.

Wow, great breakdown of my FR. I see what you mean — it seems like she’s the kind of girl who needed a very particular approach and I stumbled on it when I was running out of the LMR diffusing rolodex and remembered S&A (I’m quite familiar with rise wash repeat, I couldn’t do a freeze out because it was late and we had work next morning so she would have just left)

Just to be clear, I didn’t mean the apocalypse opener, I meant Ciaran’s shock and awe as outlined here:

You seem to have inferred that though. I see what you mean about this only working if its completely congruent to how you actually feel at that moment, which it was in my case — she was exactly my type, and even though shes objectively a 7.5 for me she is like a 9

She left her earring at my place and asked if she can get it back at some point. I texted her yesterday come over later for your earring slash mad men and cocktails and she respnded can we do sat to which I said should work

Any advice on what to text her Saturday (or tonight?) so she actually shows up?

BTW, immoral thanks I’m glad someone finds my field reports useful :) we will tear it up in NYC bro

It’s not just that your setup was so spectacular… it’s the fact that they came back there with you. It’s in your court to fuck up at that point.

Reminds me of college daze. I had a waterfront high rise condo, 1 BR. But no furniture other than a mattress on the floor, zero else. Took me a while to figure it out but it became as routine as your experience. Proto-game…. ask girl over… she comes over… throw a blanket on the floor, look out over the water.. serve some wine or cheap champagne… cool chill tunes… out on balcony watching the moon rise…. wait for it. wait for it… eye stare… wait for it… Me:”what are you thinking”? (hold stare). Girl : “I’m thinking when are you going to kiss me”! Me: swoop in…. LOL

I mean it was this exact same routine every time. since it was so routine, even the girls saying the exact same thing, it got easier and easier and I became even more aloof and more chill knowing what was going to happen next. I did no realize it at the time but this was game precepts in action…

Part of me says yes, you should have, but part of me says that if any single one of the five were even a day under the age of legal consent for your jurisdiction, then you’d be gambling with spending some hard time in the pen and then having your name posted on the internet as a sex offender for the remainder of your life. TREAD VERY CAREFULLY HERE.

What you could do would be to invite them all back to your place – or, better yet, back to your date’s place – for some champagne or cocktails around the pool or the hot tub. As long as you don’t dip it in any of them [until after you’ve examined all of their drivers’ licenses for fakery], and as long as none of them get in a DWI auto collision afterwards, then you’ll only be at risk for a Contributing to the Delinquency rap.

Two other thoughts: 1) NO BOYS. If they try to bring boys with them, then that’s a deal breaker. Stay firm and aloof and totally asshole about that. 2) Having an outdoor stereo with some good tunes at the pool or the hot tub can really help to enhance their experience of sipping on champagne for the first time. Although what today’s teens think of as “good tunes” is going to test your sanity. Might be good to spend some time learning teen music to see whether any of it is good for the seduction, or whether you’re going to have to go Old School on ’em.

I recently forced mysef to listen to more than 10 years of top 20 hits [circa 2000 to current], trying to find find something with a melody which was hum-able, and it was 99% glorified porn actresses shouting “fuck” at the top of their lungs to a jungle rhythm. Even something mildly upbeat like EWF’s “Fantasy” might be too slow of a “slow dance” tempo for today’s ADHD epileptic-spastic teenagers.

@immoral – The irony is that knowing Game means you sometimes put extra pressure on yourself to ‘get results’ because a man with Game has high expectations based on past success in the field of battle.

I had a 4-5 week dry spell a few months ago with no warm leads and was asking myself similar hard questions. I stayed with my plan and approached women day and night and now I’m slaying new poon.

You kind of answered your own question…”I know logically there will be future girls and I will no doubt improve”….

I feed off the confidence knowing that statistically I WILL be banging new tasty poon IF I keep approaching. Embrace the negative as it means your inching ever closer to the positive.

I approach targets with the hunger of a lion camouflaged under an blanket of casual indifference.

My sticking point is maintaining approach numbers when I’m comfortably grazing at a plentiful watering hole – knowing that said watering hole will soon dry up…

MRI analysis is the truth because it pinpoints and maps/measures the parts of the brain when we have these ‘subconscious urges’.

What would be interesting is seeing the amygdala blood flow in women when they saw famous good looking men vs a non famous good looking men. And then measure a male brain seeing a famous sexy girl vs nonfamous sexy girl.
Prediction:
For girl Blood flow would rise the most with famous plus looks and not for just looks.

Reblogged this on Philosophies of a Disenchanted Scholar and commented:
On the female side, I’d say we consider more physical types attractive than men (luckily for them). On the male, a distinction needs to be made between sexy and beauty, as they can be very different.

Oh my Gosh! This has been so true in my case. My husband’s dominance just made him irresistible to me even before he had the prestige, power and money from running his own company. He used all kinds of subtle tricks to dominate me and he did this very early in our marriage. I discuss them here

Don’t get me wrong, Swami keeps fit and has a nice athletic body and a smile to die for, but much more than his looks, it is his dominant aura that make me weak in my knees. In fact I would say that I find him really hot physically precisely because he is dominant. A “model type” handsome guy with no dominant traits would have caught my eye for a very short time, but the minute I interacted with him, it would have been such a let down if he did not project dominance. Now of-course, I am hopelessly hooked and grateful for it!

Correct observations, wrong conclusions.
Looks matter to women just as much as they do to men and they perceive them in exactly the same way. Women love pretty boys just as much as men love pretty girls.
However, women have a longer laundry list of requirements.
To most men, a woman’s looks may not be the *only* thing that matters, but they’re decidedly no.1. By about a billion landslides.
To women, a man’s looks matter (A LOT!!!!!), but Youth, HEIGHT, Money & Social Status are equally important.
If he’s tall/rich/celeb enough – or 10,15,20 years her junior – he doesn’t necessarily have to be Adonis.
This doesn’t really work if the shoe is on the other foot, men may be ok with ugly girls as long as the girls are young, but they don’t give a flying rats’ ass how tall, rich or famous she is.
Cue ‘budwuddaboudGAME?’ chorus in 3….2….1….

I was with you up to your positioning of height in the list of important things. You’re wrong there, empirically wrong. Height makes women moist. Why? Because 9 times out of 10 you will perceive someone taller than you has being dominant over you when at close range.

Being short is not a death knell, and may be compensated for by game, but you’re not going to score nearly as well as a manlet. Women have a clear preference for men who are taller than them. Simple observation of couples will demonstrate this and science has confirmed it in numerous studies.

Height implies many of the things in your list – including status, wealth and psychosocial dominance. Tall men are much more likely to be selected for, or end up in, leadership roles. This is an evolutionary thing – historically better socio-economic status meant better nutrition meant a taller man. That evolutionary cue is as old as man and is still in place.

Short men hate this, but there it is. The best thing that can happen to a man is to not be born a manlet.

O.T.: Hey Heartiste, I think it’s important to watch what media influences we intake each day. After learning about game, I realize that a lot of the music we listen to is so damn Beta it ain’t funny! So, I think highlighting/deconstructing Beta music would be a cool feature of this site. You can also do songs that have an Alpha message or a message that can relate to game. Funny, I can’t listen to music anymore without determining what side the song’s message falls on, beta or alpha.

Just a couple of old school songs I listen to today that strike me as Alpha:

Not sure about the “shock & awe”TM approach, haven’t looked into it but to me it sounds like the type of girl that really needs to feel SHE is the one making you hot, not just that you are horny and she is a girl. she needs to feel that SHE is the most special beautiful, wonderful girl and ALSO that all the other girls are lessor. Not enough for her to win, the others have to lose.

You will get a lot of mileage out of the “I’m not normally like this, you bring out the beast in me, there is something about you, you are not like other girls” line of spiel.

she wants you to really want to fuck her and only her. Have fun with this, tell her this kind of shit while you are hitting it.

I was talking with a girl once after sex about fantasies, she asked me “what are your fantasies” I go on ” i want you to do x y and z to me”, she gets mad and defensive… she says” I guess that’s Ok, you put yourself first, makes sense”. I was like “wtf” she goes on “you didn’t mention anything you want to do to ME…!”

Lightbulb moment.

Girls are soooo into themselves (at least real hot ones), everything is about them at some level. reframe to work with your game…

ETA: I think this personality type is most common in the nearly there girls, you described her as a 7.5 and she probably knows in her heart she is a 7.5 but her head tells her a lot she is an 8+, hence she gets off on the affirmation that she is SO HOT…

A real 9 has no more illusions about how hot she is, unless she is still very young. More mileage out of mind/smartness/talent game with those, ignoring looks.

Thanks for the reply, interesting. Yeah, shock and awe tech really just means bombarding her with stuff like I can’t help myself around you, you’re so hot I can’t control myself, it’s all your fault etc. which is supposed to allow you to escalate hard without neediness because you’re blaming the escalation on her. It plays into the female fantasy of being ‘taken’ by a guy who finds her irresistible (isn’t that the premise of pretty much every romance novel ever written)

You’re probably right that this works so well for this type of girl because she’s a 7.5 and wants to feel like a 9. But I don’t want to KJ so we should really go out and try it on 9s and see if they react any differently.

Well said. I do know the “you’re not just a pretty face” “it must suck that people judge you on your looks” “your girlfriends must be insecure around you” stuff goes over great with the hotties. Let us know how the S&A works.

My ultimate goal for this pickup journey is to have beautiful women (models, bartenders, etc.) in my life and become an alpha male.

However, I’m going to have to get back into my old social circles. I hung out with them for a little bit but I think I tried to show off my pickup skills (didn’t go as planned) and didn’t really connect with the rest of the group on a personal level. Anyway, I’ll probably hit em up again and this time just be super lowkey. These guys are 9-5ers, former frat brothers that I hungout with on and off through out the year.

I’ll try and hit them up this weekend/upcoming week.

Going to make an effort to go to industry nights as well. I don’t have really any female friends in the city… and in total I have one or two (both nerdish).

– 80K in debt
– few close friends other than PUAs… (some college friends I don’t really like, it just ended up that way cuz I was put in the same dorm as them.)
– unfulfilling job that isn’t enough to payback loans – been looking into other jobs, just starting to do some research/networking.
– not as much of a sad sack I was before, and I’m finally ready to do whatever it takes to change.
– 1 year into actively going out, 0 lays (but other smaller successes that have built up my confidence ever since starting). 3 days a week on average for the whole time, pretty much. Yup, half-assed a lot. Now I’m doing 5-6 days/nights a week.

I’ve been thinking I should start posting more regularly so that I can actively change my life instead of not really keeping any sort of log of the journey.

A lot of them aren’t much longer than yours, but I mean….lol I’m trying a lot of different bullshit. Seeing what works, what doesn’t, what’s lame, what’s tight, etc. But I also HANG IN THERE long enough to get one or two loooong interactions, too.

If you just hit it every night and leave your ego at the door, you’re bound to run into some cool chick who will kick it with you for awhile. Usually they’re into you on some level.

But most importantly — LOL LOOK AT HOW MUCH I CRASHED AND BURNED…constantly. Like, I went through the same learning curve you’re going through — I just compressed it. I went through a lot of interactions fast and gave it my all. One hundred percent, every time.

What’s funny is that I had about maybe 3-4 hundred approaches without much success before shit just started picking up for me.

And that positive attitude will build on itself. Because if you submit an FR like that, that shows you made a complete fucking idiot of yourself (not just I kind of walked up said you were cute and she wasn’t into it idiot…I mean, fucking retard lol humiliation time idiot)….then everyone can jump on it and break it down and TEAR into it.

You have to show everyone who YOU ARE first. Yeah a lot of the parts of you are probably kind of lame right now. Lol who cares? Expose that to everyone and let them feast on it. Let us rebuild you. Let us make you stronger. We have the technology.

Just want to drop a link to Todd from RSD’s stuff. Dude is doing a bunch of self-promotion right now so he’s got a lot of solid content up and I was checking it out. Guy has been around since The Game (he’s the guy sleeping in the tent in the book) and his stuff is interesting because he’s extremely extremely technical and extremely extremely boring lol He’s 5’7″ and has basically no charisma and even has a bit of an effeminate inflection in his voice when he’s talking to girls…so he’s a good candidate for following pure structure/technique in game to get results. He also relies heavily on screening and qualifying girls and getting them to chase/qualify themselves to him.

Here’s a vid of him in-field:

But this is the one I wanted to link, it’s like 2.5 hours long and covers his game from Open to Sex:

The part of the vid above that I wanted to specifically highlight though, is his breakdown of reaching and getting the Hook Point. It starts at 1:31:40 in that vid.

This is probably one of the best breakdowns of the Hook Point that I’ve ever heard and a lot of the guys having problems keeping sets going are having problems because they can’t reach the Hook Point, so this should help those guys a ton (aka Hunter, give this a watch).

His structure is “FRED”:

– Focus (getting her attention fully on you)

– Relevance (making what you’re saying relevant to her life or something interesting to her, in a positive (value, like teaching her something relating something to her life talking about her, etc.) OR negative (threat, like teasing negs dominant talk causing drama etc.) way)

– Emotion (getting her emotionally invested/reacting, good or bad)

– Decision (forcing her to make a decision to stick around and invest in the interaction)

He goes into breaking down why really fast “HEY. YOU. Come here.” Openers can often work. “HEY” is getting her Focus, “YOU” is making it Relevant to her specifically, commanding her “Come here.” with intensity in your eyes etc. is causing an Emotional reaction (often they worry they’re in trouble or something because of your tonality), and “Come here” while holding out your hand is forcing her to make a Decision to come over. So if she takes your hand and you pull her in, you’ve hit the Hook Point super fast, but you’ve executed the same shit that you would execute in a much slower indirect approach.

He also explains self-amusement and how it doesn’t fully trigger all 4 pillars of the structure, but how it CAN lead to it, which is a great breakdown of how self-amusement often works but not always, and how you can tighten that up by combining self-amusement with following legit structure.

So if you’re someone planning out some routines/stories/etc., think about “how am I going to Open, and how am I going to reach the Hook Point from there? Is there a way I could make my story more Relevant to her? How could I force her to make a Decision, what would be a good way to test that?” etc.

Def give that part a watch. The rest of the video is great, but it’s 2.5hrs long so if you don’t have time for it at least check that Hook Point FRED stuff. Really really solid and directly applicable if you’re heading out this weekend.

His stuff right after that about testing for her Blueprints (poking and testing for common Blueprints then calibrating more from there). I do a ton of that, it’s part of why my calibration is awesome. Really his whole game is fucking solid lol Watch the whole vid sometime if you want a good breakdown of fundamentals and technical shit.

Happy Friday all, go out and talk to some hotties. Summer is half-over, don’t waste it watching Game of Thrones lol

Just want to point out an implication from the first expirement, that exposure to porn and media images get an unfair share of the blame for skewed perceptions of average. A man can completely swear off porn and media but he’s still going to see the real-life 8s and the occasional 9.

Even in fat America, it takes a conscious effort to not encounter at least some 8s on a regular basis. And the study suggests it only takes a few to make a difference.

@YaReally, Immoral…habd, others … Just a wrap up of my week and a few insights to share.

I banged two girls and gamed a third.

In the last 2 months, I’ve met and banged 6 girls in my bid to FTOW…

I’ve met them through different channels…by far the most successful I must say has been Tinder.

This week I met up with two girls…a buxom hot 27 year old Vietnamese woman here on business who I gamed using tight text game…met…and fucked senseless on her last night.

The second was a 27 year old private nurse who I gamed…banged 4 times on her day off. Cute, funny…started to give me a bit of drama by text until I told her if she wasn’t interested in coming over…that was ok.

In both the Tinder cases I boldly invited these chicks over….and worked back from there….both did come over.

Then I started gaming that actress who has since started to show an interest by texting me to meet up when we’re both free.

Elsewhere…I started to game other girls in my social circle…one that I’d like to bang…another that I might…but is now about just pushing the envelope.

I’ve seen my crazy ex who continues to ignore me and is with the beta provider chump she claimed was a “friend”….the more chicks I bang…the less that whole thing matters beyond just pissing me off. The “longing” is now faded.

But I have to say that what has been helpful has been structure and practice. A lot of what is in Krauser’s DayGame Mastery I’ve localized and internalized. I’m now working on inner game and the idea that I can have any chick I want…

I cannot stress enough how success breeds more success. I had some rejections, some time-wasters…the first couple of chicks I banged were myeh…but i was determined to get out of that dark place i felt stuck in.

I also started to eliminate the shit…no more 35+ chicks…most have been 30 or younger…and the difference is amazing. They’re so much more relaxed about stuff. None have had a problem with my late 40’s age….they all love this feeling I’m more interesting.

I also started to mix in more vulnerability game and authenticity early on. I haven’t had any clingers or any of them mistake fucking with the prospect of an LTR…they’ve all been open to this…no guilt.

@immoral Much of what I do was through practice and then trying what is in Krauser’s book.

A few insights I can share that work for me. Early in the text exchange…I will tease with “You have that look my mom warned me about….” she’ll always ask: “What?” or “Do you listen to your mother?” I say “sweet and cute in public, crazy in private…but you have a very feminine smile/eyes/long hair”…

This sexualizes things without going over the top. Girls will always then shit test by saying “Ohhhhh are you wild?” or “You’re a player….” etc.

Me: “Behave….” then they start asking questions….that’s a perfect IOI and cue to say “Woahhhhh are you a journalist or tax auditor?” Wayyy too many questions….let’s play the QUestions game…you can ask me anything….OR…..you get three questions….make them good….not “What is your favorite Captain Crunch Cereal Character”…

In nearly every case they start by saying “When did you first know you loved your ex?” or some other sexual thing…. Then you ask:

“Besides your lips…what part of your body do you most like kissed?” They will blush…or push-back…..You keep your frame.

The Questions Game is brilliant because it frames the growing connection in a game which you are the ultimate referee on. Ask: “When you were a kid, what’s the naughtiest thing you ever did?”

I asked a girl who I k-closed and who blew me…that question. She said “I drugged my ex with a laxative after I found out he cheated on me”….ok good to know.

The Cube is a great one if you can pull it off….You have to get her talking about herself, then ask: “If you could have a superpower, what would it be?” She’ll answer with some lame shit…You’ll say “Read minds….in fact I’m reading yours now…” Then transition into The Cube. Girls love the Cube and it’s like 90% accurate of their personalities—read up on it…then you can make up some of your own interpretations based around you intuition.

Then when you notice the eyes…pause, go for the k-close. I’ve had the k-close rejected at least twice only to have her relent….they want to surrender.

Other things Krauser has outlined….early kino…touching her hair…touching her back.

I slow it down now. If the girl is all bitchy and nervous….I stare at her and just smile.

If she didn’t want to be with you she wouldn’t be out with you. I will sometimes buy drinks or split by having her buy the next round…or make a bet where she has to pay. Money is never usually an issue on these dates because I pre-screen. If they have an expectation of me buying, I don’t go out. But I do pay for dinners if it’s convenient or just less fuss.

“Me: “Behave….” then they start asking questions….that’s a perfect IOI and cue to say “Woahhhhh are you a journalist or tax auditor?” Wayyy too many questions….”
That’s a good all purpose reframe. Anyway, really good job. I always read your comments because your improvement is inspiring. I can’t wait for Krauser’s book. It’s rather awkward how pick up is a thing of momentum – when you get in the groove, it becomes rather effortless with logistics being the main problem. After you approached, 20-50 pretty girls, approaching won’t be an issue. The only problem is that if you take a break from pick-up, you will be rusty when you get back. It’s like Owen from RSD(I think it was him) says that he needs to warm up before he goes out if he spent a lot of time away from female human contact due to work or whatnot.

@Almost…it’s the hardest part. No it doesn’t matter. But there is a part of me that wants it to mean something so that a year of my life wasn’t wasted. Sometimes it’s just about experience, trying something new, learning a lesson, not winning or losing. That’s the game.

I’d say that year was worth something, as you were kicked in the nuts hard and painfully enough to force yourself to face the changes you had to make.

Given your last week? I’d say it was well worth it. Just remember that while some lovely young lass is slapping your face with her massive hooters. It would be hard to be angry at anything when that happens.

“I also started to eliminate the shit…no more 35+ chicks…most have been 30 or younger…and the difference is amazing. They’re so much more relaxed about stuff. None have had a problem with my late 40′s age….they all love this feeling I’m more interesting.”
I find this amusing because all women have this age criteria in their head that they rarely take into account. ‘Yes, I’m 18 and I wouldn’t date a guy over 23.’ Nigga, please. lol

@immoral I think it’s all a confidence thing. 8-9 months ago I was a mess internally. I think that was picked up on by girls. A lot of that push-back is just shit-testing which if not handled becomes internalized.

The first step is working on one’s self… then learning a system or structure…then internalizing that structure.

Same thing with online dating. If I post my real height – I get no responses or very little notice. Just fat single mothers, women in their 50’s that have dark weird photos. If I take that same profile and make it say 5’11 to 6”2 its pretty good. The last time I did put my profile at 6’0, I had a some very attractive women email me unsolicited. One was a smoking hot red head that just seemed to good to be true. So I met her at a bar. She was the real deal but when she saw that even with boots I was around 5’8 she shied away big time. Told me she thought I was taller and no matter how I tried to reframe and “game” the whole conversation went down hill. Now why would that happen if looks did not matter? Same profile just different height.

We eventually get to her apt and I manage to get her to stay and talk for about 5min. The convo went very well and I number closed and setup plans to meet for a drink (in our neighborhood) early in the week.’

Kevin. 2 years ago I would have thought that impossible.

A year ago I was actually starting to do this but in these sets with the hotties my legs would legit shake. I would eject the set early because the anxiety would kill me.

This winter I went to Grand Central Terminal Mon-Fri for a few months and did 2 daygame sets a day. Now my fucking nervousness is gone for the most part (not completely). Oh, and that was when I was at my fattest and my style was bland/frumpy as fuck.

Did I give up?

No.

I lost the weight, changed my style. Damn, I’m moving to a hotter, more logistically/convenient location in the city to.

Shit, when my last mini-relationship ended. What did I do?

I went out and hit the fucking streets everyday to get rid of the bad emotions. None of this complaining shit.

Man.

Go buy Krauser’s DayGame Mastery and start posting your Field Reports here. We have a host of guys who like to help out and help those who are actually doing shit and striving to improve.

Todd from the RSD vid YaReally linked above is 5’7, has almost no charisma & is slaying it daily. I’m 5’9″, average looking & get mostly fuggs on the online show, but when I’m out my SMV goes right up cause my behaviour is sometimes just as solid & often better than the tall ripped good looking guys. It’s a long scary learning process, but it can’t get any worse right?

You are conflating looks and height. Yes they both fall under the category of “appearances” but height is not aesthetics. Height deals more with dominance, maturity, and leadership. You can convey those things without being taller. I am also 5’6. I lend to lead, challenge, and even bully taller men when I feel the need. It’s not ideal, but you have to start somewhere.

@IG yeah this idea floated around by taller guys that women don’t like to date men shorter than them I think is more wishful thinking on their part..perhaps because they strike out with women less than a certain height to them because THEIR GAME SUCKS…

Anyway, the only place that height really does cramp me online dating because it’s all about how you first appear and what your stats are on paper, but give me a room full of tall guys and girls and I will have most of their attention in the first 30 seconds…

You have heard of “short man syndrome” bu there is this little known social condition were taller guys are extremely jealous of shorter guys who run better game than them…

Are you able to chatup 10 girls a week during the day?
Do you have a decent lounge where you have some social proof at?
Do you have some kind of activity where you’re the leader? Notorious commenter Walawala leads a salsa dancing club in Hong Kong which allows him to meet girls organically?

But even then. Have you read Krauser’s stuff on daygame? Have you tried any of that?

Are you that shorter dude (like Scray) who develops a supersolid personality that makes him undeniable?

There’s a few ways to skin the hat here. Look, if you’re hitting all cylinders and still not scoring then that’s one thing. But I’m legit curious to hear about:

1) Your lifestyle (you have an apt in a vibrant part of town?)
2) Your physique (You have runners body or are built like you actually lift?)
3) Do you have cool friends (Or are they miserable married guys in their 40s who don’t take care of themselves)
4) Do you have interesting shit that is an automatic DHV?
5) How many girls do you cold approach a week?
6) What do you dress like? (Dadcore?)

I’ve just seen too many examples on this board of guys overcoming their limitations.

@Kevin online dating is the best channel for meeting women. Women are on there because they find it hard to meet blokes. They’re all up for being banged. The majority of girls I meet online I bang within 3 dates—sometimes same night we meet.

My photo is me at a gun range…find one of yourself doing something interesting that takes away from your looks if you think that’s getting in the way.

Next is the opener—go to Krauser’s blog. He has a pattern you can adapt. I’ve adapted it as an opener. It is 90% effective—in other words of the girls I use this one to approach online 90% reply. Of that 90% it drops off to around 30% who engage and continue…then around 5% who I meet.

It’s time efficient for me because I travel so much.

The other thing you have to realize is knowing your own Sexual Market Value. If you’re thinking you’re a shlub….you’ll project being a shlub. Do what you need to do to get that shit out of your head—hit a gym, clean yourself up, get some decent clothes…start taking charge of your life.

The other thing you need if you want to meet women is go to where women go: take dance classes, pottery, Spanish lessons whatever….you always get paired up with someone for exercises or homework….language classes are great—you meet hot chicks who want to travel. Pick a language and have a reason: travel, work, whatever.

Once you have a fish pond, start improving your game. Learn the Mystery Method—or better yet, get Krauser’s DayGame Mastery. This is a text book on how to approach, what do do….step by step. If you practice this and gain confidence, your hit rate will improve and so will your confidence.

go out more. looks matter only so much as you don’t look bad, & yes if you look good you might get a lay up here or there because you get more attention. So think of ways you could get more attention so you can demonstrate your charisma. Of course for some women on the fringes of the bell curve looks really do matter, just like some have a need to be beat up to feel special, but for the majority they are simply an indicator of how socially dominant a man is likely to be. The chubby 5’9 YaReallys aren’t getting quality poon because their face is an oil painting, so why is that? You can test this by watching how many good looking guys go home alone each night. Go talk to bouncers at clubs & ask them who they see picking up regularly – any that are actually paying attention will tell you the good looking guys aren’t necessarily the most successful. Start paying attention to how much action the short very average looking Todds & Owens from RSD are getting – how many good looking guys do you know standing around getting their girlfriend to find another girl to have 3somes with?

@Kevin sounds like a lot of negativity and I can tell you from personal experience that you will never get anywhere with a negative attitude. There is no quick fix for being short or not that great looking. But there is always a way.

I am much older than you not tall, just average height and I work hard to stay in shape. And I have another strike against me I am married. Which means that if I tell them that which I usually do. That excludes many other prospects.

If I was single I would do so much better. I could just go back and sit on the couch and watch some more sports or sit around with my other married friends and listen to them gripe about their miserable lives and just give up. Or I can get out there and try again and again.

But your negative attitude is just dripping off of your posts. It will never get better with that. No matter what you do you have to change that first.

On Tinder, looks matter to women far more than they do in real life. I have friends who have Greek god bodies and they obviously do great on Tinder because girls will instinctively swipe right. What exactly do you want girls to judge you by? Your deep voice? It’s how tinder works. Of course, looks are just a foot in the door.