0’25’’ Gardaí in partnership with the coastguard have intercepted in the last week a large shipment of shite costumes at Dublin Port. In addition to naff and/or twee. Gardaí have multiple reports of lazy costumes.

1’00’’ Extra Gardaí have been drafted in this Halloween to deal with the suspected increase in wearing of the clown costume from the IT movie which as of this morning has been upgraded to class-A naff.