83044: His wife became Muslim but he hurts her and mistreats her

A man traveled to Europe, married a Christian woman and had a daughter from her to get residency. He lived the first years in secrecy. He used to harm his wife and daughter like if they were not his family. His wife converted to Islam after Allah guided her. But he still hasn’t changed. He is sinful and commits adultery, nor does he spend on his family. He forcibly takes his wife’s money, and she is patient despite his unfairness, as she has other children and wants to protect her family, wishing that Allah guides him one day.
This woman’s family thinks that the reason behind all the problems she meets is Islam and foreigners. May you please advise this man so that he may return to the straight path? And what is the ruling of Islam on this?.

Praise be to Allaah.

We praise Allaah for having guided this sister to Islam and
we ask Him to make her steadfast in adhering to the truth, and to guide her
to the right words and deeds.

What the sister has mentioned is an example of how Islam is
suffering at the hands of its people – if we may put it this way – people
who claim to be Muslim, then they go against the rulings and etiquette of
Islam. Moreover, if this transgression happened in a Muslim country, where
Islam is prevalent and those who are committed to the faith are known, then
no one would be blamed for someone else’s mistakes, and no one would condemn
Islam because of the bad deeds of an evildoer. In that case the matter
wouldn’t be so bad. But the problem becomes worse when one of these
evildoers lives in the west, among the kuffaar, and they regard him as a
representative of Islam and of its morals, etiquette and rulings, then he
lives his life like the Jews and Christians around him, not paying any
attention to what is halaal and haraam.

Al-Awzaa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It was said
that there is no Muslim who is not standing guard on the borders of Islam,
so whoever can prevent Islam from being undermined or attacked, let him do
so.

Al-Hasan ibn Hayy (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With
regard to Islam, the Muslims are like a fortress. If a Muslim does a bad
deed, Islam is breached from his direction; if all the Muslims do bad deeds,
you should persevere in adhering to that which, if all the people were
united on it, the religion of Islam would prevail, that which Allaah wants
for all people, and do not let Islam be breached from your direction.

Al-Sunnah by Muhammad ibn Nasr
al-Marwazi (no. 29, 30).

It hurts every Muslim to hear that Muslim sisters who have
entered Islam recently are exposed to verbal and physical harm by those who
are supposed to be a good example of Islam and of the Muslim family which
should be distinguished by stability, love and compassion among its members.
It is regrettable that among those who claim to belong to Islam there should
be someone like this husband who sets a bad example and puts people off
Islam, and who causes the image of Islam to be distorted, which leads people
to criticize it.

If one of the things that this husband does is to neglect the
prayer, then the sister should realize that it is not permissible for her to
stay with him, because not praying is regarded in sharee’ah as kufr which
puts one beyond the pale of Islam, hence the marriage contract is rendered
invalid. A person like this husband is not fit to be the head of a family in
which he is entrusted with his wife and children, rather there is the fear
that he may harm them by his bad actions. If he does not spend on them as
enjoined by Allaah, then he has combined all kinds of evil in his actions
and attitude, and staying with him is a heavy burden that the wife is
shouldering for no reason; if she rids herself of him by means of divorce or
separation, that will be better for her and perhaps her life will change for
the better, either on her own with her children or with another husband who
understands the value of family and fulfils the duty that Allaah has
enjoined upon him.

If this sister hopes that her husband will be guided and set
straight, then she should strive to achieve that through his friends or
relatives who may be able to have some effect on him and guide him. She can
also make use of audio and video tapes which contain exhortations and
warnings against committing sin, and remind one of death, the grave and the
reckoning. Perhaps that will influence him and bring him back to his Lord,
may He be glorified and exalted.

If that does not do any good, then she should not hesitate to
refer her case to a Muslim judge or mufti, or the imam of a mosque whose
knowledge and religion commitment she trusts, to help her to get rid of him.
If she cannot do that, then she should refer the matter to judicial or state
institutions that take care of family matters. If he does not pray, then her
marriage is null and void, and if he commits those sins although he also
prays, then she should pursue shar’i means of freeing herself from him
through a scholar or seeker of knowledge or an Islamic centre, to oblige him
to spend on his family and give up sins and evil actions. If he refuses then
they should divorce her from him in accordance with sharee’ah, and after
that she should divorce him officially so that he will no longer be regarded
as her husband.

This sister should strive to move to a Muslim country
because that – even though there may be things there that go against
sharee’ah – is better than the land of kufr and permissiveness, where the
Muslim cannot find safety for himself and his children.

We ask Allaah to increase her reward and to guide her and her
children, and help them to do that which pleases Him.