This blog is meant for the advancement, redemption, and self actualization of those who suffer from and are susceptible to bullying. Through the Four Pillars and their progeny, we can move forward and become the men we were meant to be!

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Sunday, July 19, 2015

All In The Timing

Hey All -- hope you're enjoying the summer!

Lately, I haven't been talking about our adversaries. However, someone once said that it is wise to study the ways of one's adversary. And so let's review:

One big difference between us and the alpholes is that they choose to be aggressive at times when it is completely unnecessary to do so. Maybe they do this because "it's the way they're made." Maybe they had a disapproving parent who was that way too. Maybe they feel a need to show their crowd that they're tough enough to hang with them.

Here's the world's smallest violin playing "Hearts & Flowers" for them. NONE OF THAT makes it acceptable to push others around. NONE OF THAT means that we should permit them to shove us so they'll feel better. And despite opinion to the contrary, NONE OF THAT makes them winners.

Their downfall is that they're aggressive when they shouldn't be, and they're NOT aggressive when they should be. To overcome this, we must choose our battles far more wisely than they do.

Ummmm, Daaaaaave? Who are you to judge these poor, innocent victims, who have every right to be this way? How do yoooooou know when to be aggressive and when not to be?

I'm glad somebody asked me! Aggression is obviously tied to the "fight or flight" response that we're all born with. The difference is that the alpholes think the "fight" switch should be on whenever someone weaker than them is within hearing difference, and that the "flight" switch should be on whenever the consequences of their actions materialize. But when should these two responses be set? Here you go:
WHEN TO BE AGGRESSIVE:
(1) When you have a dream or a goal to achieve.
(2) When distractions get in the way of that dream or goal.
(3) When you have a job to do.
(4) When you need to find a job to do, because you don't already have one.
(5) When your life is in danger.
(6) When you are faced with imminent bodily harm. And someone saying they'll cause it does not make it imminent.
(7) When you have exhausted all good faith efforts to avoid or alleviate conflict, and the proper authorities have not solved the problem already.
(8) When someone makes a mistake, refuses to accept responsibility for it, and points fingers at everyone else.

WHEN NOT TO BE AGGRESSIVE:
(1) When you think it's funny to disparage someone.
(2) When someone is irritating or annoying you. This does not rise to the level where aggression is needed, no matter how unpleasant it is.
(3) When non-conflict remedies have not yet been utilized.
(4) When someone's opinion is different from yours. You can be assertive in expressive your opinion, but beating someone over the head is not necessary.
(5) When presented with minor inconveniences.
(6) When you're disappointed with your own shortcomings. Instead, be gentle with yourself, but learn from whatever errors were made.
(7) When someone else makes a mistake and they own up to it.

Of course, these lists are by no means exhaustive. But notice how easily this is demonstrated in outline format? How it eliminates all ambiguity that the know-it-alls and posers wish they could point out? I've got someone very close to me to thank for that.

In our daily struggle to remain Bold and Bulletproof, we must embrace the fact that we are different from these other types, and use our differences to our advantages. This is only one of several ways that this can be done, and others will follow.