Life and Death in Har Nof

So many of you have showed concern and written, and even more of you have prayed. I have no words to tell you how much this means not only to me, but to every one of us. Thank God, Shmuli, my son-in-law, is much better. He is aware, able to communicate and reminded a friend that he is only giving him his seat on the morning bus to Mir temporarily. That doesn't mean that the story is over. If we closed the book here it would be a cruel denial of our having lived through a pogrom that left Har Nof with four new widows, and 24 new orphans. (Click here to read Rebbetzin Heller’s first letter.)

We buried the four men who were killed, and their death caused many of us to rethink our ideas about what death is really about. Is dying a brutal death at the hands of people you never met and certainly do not threaten in any way a senseless desecration of life? Is dying for no reason other than the fact that you are a Jew a meaningless tragedy? Death is never sweet for those who are left behind, but there is some comfort in knowing that the death of these four men was a reflection of the way that they chose to live.

Their deaths had meaning.

The men who died in Kehillas Bnei Torah died as they lived; they were dedicated to living with emunah, faith in God, and beginning their days with dedication. They were killed for not being Muslim. When my daughter Miri received the call from the hospital social worker telling her to get to Hadassah hospital as soon as possible and not to come alone, it was one of the worst moments that anyone could experience. All four people in the car spent the 20-minute ride saying all of the variations of "I can't believe that this can be happening. It sounds terrible" that you can possibly imagine. When we were allowed into the recovery room to see Shmuli after his initial surgery, there were no tears; we were too shell-shocked. It takes only seconds to assume a new sort of normal.

When I asked the nurse about the trickle of blood that I saw flowing out of Shmuli's ear, she told me that they were able to control the majority of the flow, and that this isn't really significant. When they do the second surgery they'll take care of it. The answer sounded reasonable and left me feeling relieved. I had accepted that blood coming out of a man's head was normal, and that a second surgery was something to look forward to. I don't know what Miri was thinking, but the one thing that I know never crossed her mind or mine was regret.

Regret

Neither of us wished that he would have stayed home from the synagogue that Tuesday morning any more than Sunday or Monday. Neither of us wished that my grandson Mordechai would be the kind of kid who doesn't like to go to shul with his dad. We both know that the villain of the story isn't the coincidences of time and place that led them to be in Kehillas Bnei Torah Tuesday morning. The villain is the man with the cleaver and the man with the gun.

They are the stars of the tragedy but you can't let yourself be blind to the fact that they are supported by a cast of thousands. The countless kids who are taught hatred from their earliest youth for anyone who isn't them. The kadi in the mosque who spews out Itbach al Yahud (kill the Jews) in his Friday sermon after duly praising Allah the Compassionate. There are bit players in the ongoing drama. They have made the media the message, and the subtle and not so subtle anti-Semitism disguised pathological hatred for Israel all deserve billing.

Neither Miri nor I thought about them at the moment. We were both aware of something much bigger, more real than the ongoing soap opera called Them against Us. It's called faith in God, Who can turn things around in a moment, and whose Will isn't known to us but His ongoing kindness is. It was the only thing that mattered in the recovery room.

Emunah

Emunah means knowing that everything has one source, knowing that there is purpose and meaning. It means that you will one day account for your life to the One who gave it to you. It means that you are living on one page of an endless book, and the only thing that really matters is what kind of person you choose to become.

Choose Light

You can choose light. You can choose learning. You can choose acts of kindness. You can choose closeness to the wounded by continuing to pray for Shmuel Yerucham ben Baila, Chaim Yechiel ben Malka and Eitan ben Sara. The rabbis have strongly recommended lighting Shabbos candles earlier. Maharal tells us that the light of these candles is the same light that Torah sheds. You can transcend your limitations and your attachment to materialism by giving charity. A fund has been started for the widows and orphans left behind. Donations can be sent to Kuppat Hair, Fund 2159, (call 1-888-587-2842 to find out where to donate in your present location) which is earmarked for the victims of Har Nof's tragedy. Various funds have been started, but the rabbis of the neighborhood have recommended this one because they are able to provide you with an American tax-deductible receipt to those who wish them. Choose to be part of their lives at this time. After all, you are part of the family.

Consummate educator and internationally acclaimed speaker, Rebbetzin Tzipora Heller has been a full-time lecturer at Neve Yerushalayim College in Jerusalem since 1980, impacting the lives of thousands of women worldwide. She is the author of six popular books, including Here You Are, Battle Plans, and This Way Up. She recently launched a daily video program based on the timeless Jewish wisdom of "Duties of the Heart." Learn how to channel your emotions to experience every day with purpose, meaning, and joy at: dutiesoftheheart.com

You might know me from years gone by - Debbie Friedman = Mattersdorf/ I never heard your shiriurim on Internet, When I did I was very inspired and want to continue every day. {what's a frum lady doing opening Internet? I have no choice and work fir charedi journals which force me to look up certain things.. Whatever, it was a great pleasure listening to you, Good voch - May you all be well

(7)
Elena,
November 27, 2014 4:52 PM

Why have jewish people suffered

Why dident the Almighty stop the slaying of these good people
It seems we pray all through our lives for God to protect us, where was he on that morning in when the those killers entered his house of prayer? Does giving praise to the Almighty really help us when we are most in need?

Yehudit,
November 27, 2014 10:27 PM

God knows best

Elena, Do you think that human beings can understand God??? No human being can do that ! Our duty is to pray for what we think is right and to change the situation if we can often at the same time, but then we must ACCEPT what God answers (usually by what happens), which is not always what we want. That is called emunah, or faith. God knows what is best. Period.

(6)
Yehudit,
November 26, 2014 2:00 AM

So glad he's better and so proud of Israel

I am so glad that R Goldstein is better, and so proud to be a part of the Jewish people, who will return to Israel, our Homeland. Also, Rebbetzin, I'm so very grateful to you for providing an update, which the media certainly do NOT do. I hope you have time to continue to do so; it really helps. Todah Rabah, and Am Yisrael Chai !

(5)
Davida Rosenberg,
November 25, 2014 6:43 PM

THE SHOE FROM THE MOSQUE WAS DESTINED TO DROP

Reality and Sanity declare that since we know the premeditated murder of Israel is chanted in the mosques, these murders should not be a surprise to any thinking person. All the nice words spoken are meaningless. I think we have blood on our own hands because we did not protect ourselves properly from the INEVITABLE. Think about what could have been done... to prevent this... starting decades ago with the fallacy of false peace treaties and the refusal to withdraw the PLO declaration of our demise from their charter. THE GOD OF ISRAEL notes these absurdities. Why don' t WE.

(4)
Debbie,
November 25, 2014 6:27 PM

Powerful.

These are strong, powerful videos. The strength and courage of these men, and of course so many others, is an inspiration. They make me so proud to be part of the Jewish people.

(3)
Vela,
November 25, 2014 5:33 PM

Uniting our people through faith

Your words have impacted us and
brought us hope ,renewing our faith by the beautiful examples shown by these woman.When a tragedy of this magnitude occurs, especially during prayers being said in shul, our people unite and
become even closer ...we connect
on all levels and our religious denominations all blend together into a solid united front. Never Again shall we look the other way ,we shall stand strong! Yes, prayers will be said for those injured, acts of chessed will be performed, and donations will be made to help the widows. These brave,selfless, kind, scholarly Ravs will not be forgotten!! We can not understand the why , but we know behind every action there is a purpose . This is the time to believe that there is an ultimate good that will come out of this tragedy. Our job is to pray, learn, do acts of chessed, and never lose our faith .

(2)
Diane,
November 25, 2014 4:34 PM

B"H to see and hear R. Goldstein

Rebbetzin Heller, thank you for this update and your and your son-in-law's positive words. As an RN, I know that he could easily have had brain damage. B"H he is doing well. I hope the others who were also wounded are doing better, too. I have been praying for their refuah shlema since for this past week and will continue to do so. May they all have complete healing. It was also a miracle how your grandson got out when he did and got the word out. Thank you also for the information to give tzedaka for the widows and children from the USA. Hashem be with you and the Jewish People.

(1)
Chana,
November 25, 2014 9:38 AM

SO glad and relieved!

So glad to see R. Goldstein looking and speaking so well! As much as we intellectually know that Hashem hears and accepts all prayers, it is always tremendously encouraging to actually see the positive result of prayer.Rebbetzin Heller, I was most impacted by the paragraph about regret in which you emphasized that the real villian isn't place and timing, but evil and its agents. This an idea that bears repeating!Wishing you all much chizuk and quick constant progress, we will continue davening for all the wounded.