Category Archives: Parenting

This “Recovery Thought” was originally a comment on one of our Facebook
groups. I read it and it resonated strongly with me. Linda W. has agreed to
let us share this publicly, hoping her works will let others know —they are
not alone. ~Judy Herzanek/Changing Lives Foundation

I’d like to share a crazy question I asked of an EMT who transported my 37-year-old son and me to the hospital. She and I were standing near my son who was on a stretcher after suffering a seizure.

Looking at him I just had to ask her. Does he look like a man to you????

She answered yes.
I looked back at my son who could not hear this conversation.

Then I explained.When I look at my son I don’t see a man. I see my child. I see the boy I raised and love so much. Mentally I know he is a man; heart wise I am looking at my son. . . my child. But I never see a grown man like I do with other people’s sons.

Perhaps that is partly why we mothers believe we’ve got to save them.

I’m learning I need to see the man he is and allow him to make his choices. I did not cause the drinking and I cannot stop it. This man is capable of making decisions and going through the consequences.

I can love him, be “a bit of light” in his world, but I can’t be the mom who could fix the hurts of childhood. He is no longer a child. I need to let him find the man he is meant to be. And I need to look after me.

“I did not cause the drinking and I cannot stop it.
This man is capable of making decisions
and going thru the consequences.”

> This Recovery Thought posted with permission and written by ~Linda W.

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I, like many people, have some knowledge of what drugs and addiction are, but are clueless on what the process of recovery entails. This book does a great job in what it would take to help a loved one, who is an addict and is willing to get clean and stay clean. It also gives one hope that your loved one will survive the nightmare they are living through with their family. ~CG

The information given to me from "Why Don't They JUST QUIT?" has shown me that I don't have to give up on my loved one; in fact, I am now better prepared mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for any worst-case scenario thanks to this Godsend of a book.~ John S.