HiThank you for your question. My name is XXXXX XXXXX I will do my best to help you.Whether or not the 15 year old wishes to see you is entirely up to him or her. You should write back to the solicitor and remind them that the eight years that you were living together means that you could, if you wished apply to the court for permission to apply for contact and it would be granted.You should also point out atXXXXXwould allow then child to decide what contact there should be.Say that you would prefer not to take such action but will do so if need beI hope that this is of assistance - please ask if you need further detailsClare

HiThe mother could potentially report the matter to the police as harassment - but unless her daughter supports her then it is unlikely to be successfulHowever it would be sensible to always reply to a contact rather than initiate one If you do wish to apply for a contact order and the child does want contact then it will be successful.You could consider offering to attend Family mediation (www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk) using a mediator also trained to work with young peopleClare

HiI would suggest a slightly less confrontational approach.Simply say that you are surprised by the letter since given the age of the child is it up to her what contact she has with someone she regards XXXXX XXXXX step father You are aware that you could apply for permission to apply for a contact order but you would prefer not to do soYou are willing to attend Mediation if your ex wishes to discuss it furtherClare

would it be useful at this point to send copies of recent messages I have had from my partners youngest daughter that explain how much she wants to see me, how much she has enjoyed seeing me and plans for future outings?

Thanks

Robin

Customer:replied 1 year ago.

Hi Clare,

would it be useful at this point to send copies of recent messages I have had from my partners youngest daughter that explain how much she wants to see me, how much she has enjoyed seeing me and plans for future outings?

Thanks

Robin

ps

Draft of letter as it stands......

Dear Mrs ,

may I first say that I was shocked and saddened by your letter. As you may know, I have brought both Jane’s children up, with her, for eight years. I have been a father figure to Lily, bringing her up as my own, for over half her life. I have attending school parents evenings, performances, sports days, meetings about Lilys educational needs, I receive fathers day cards and presents and have generally been there in a way her real father never was. This is all extremely sad. I love both children, but particularly Lily as we have a father/daughter relationship.

I am aware that I could apply for a contact order through the courts but I would prefer not to do so at this point as this would be an awful thing for us all to go through, particularly Lily.

I am willing to fund and attend a Family Mediation Centre to try and find a compromise that Jane is happy with, so that I may go on seeing Lily if she wishes. Only recently Lily has expressed her feelings for seeing me on a regular basis. I enclose copies of the messages she has sent for yours and Janes reference.

I will not be contacting Jane again, as are her wishes, but I would appreciate if she would consider the option I am proposing. I believe I have been a positive influence in Lily’s life and would like to remain in it in some capacity.

It is 10 days since I wrote to my ex's solicitor and I still havent had a reply. Is there a specific time period that they should reply in or could she choose to ignore the letter as she stipulated that I should reply through a solicitor?

I have also noticed that I have been barred from my step daughters Facebook page. I have not tried to contact my stop daughter since I received the letter from my ex's solicitor.

Also I have read on the internet that, as an unmarried step father I have to apply for a contact order within 3 months of me not living with the child. Is this true because this time has passed.

Ask a Solicitor

Get a Professional Answer. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed.

84 Solicitors are Online Now

Type Your UK Family Law Question Here...

characters left:

DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.

The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).