I like the new thread name even though I haven't read BDB. I've always thought peaches were a very guttery fruit.

Variety - I'm not a mom yet but I was going to suggest the same thing as Heart Song for cleaning his room. That's what my parents did with my brother. He had to clean something each day until the whole room was clean and it could be a big job like vacuuming or a small job like dusting his TV. When it comes to him sneaking out, do you know how he's getting out? Like if he's going out a window, nail it shut. It's really hard to stop the sneaking out though, I think kids always find some way to pull it off. As far as consequences that will affect him, what does he like? Whatever it is, you have to find a way to take it away. Maybe cut off his allowance if he gets one, take away TV or video game privileges, no friends allowed over, no junk food. I'm probably not much help since I'm not a parent myself but those are things I've seen my parents or my friends' parents do in the past.

Sounds like these BDB books must be good if everyone is talking about them! I'll have to pick some up. How many are in the series?

Variety, I completely agree that you should work on tackling one area a time.. maybe one section per day.. to make the task seem achievable. Just do a bit each day until it's done and then work on maintaining.

Question for any (and all) moms here: I have an 11 yr old son that has been getting into trouble. For several reasons, we grounded him until he will clean his room. Now, he's been sneaking out. This has been going on for about 3 weeks. I have to spend so much time going out and bringing him back home. He's now throwing a fit saying he can "never get it done" and that he'll "die before his room gets clean" and he sits and does nothing. He's getting more and more grumpy and aggressive, and I don't know how to encourage him without him thinking I'm getting mad at him or without standing over him and telling him every little thing to do. He won't take responsibility for his actions, but just keeps being disrespectful. It's getting worse, and I don't know how to break the cycle, or come up with a consequence that actually helps. Any suggestions?

Just a few thought (NOT guranteed to work lol)Do the breaking it down thing and the first day even offer to help "ok, today I will help, 1st thing you need to do is pick up all the clothes on the floor" or do a VERY detailed list spelling each task out. Let him come up with the way to do it (as said above) and also the CONSEQUENCE if he doesn't do it (nifty trick!)Last and def least, do what my mom did, if my room wasnot cleaned by the date she set she wnet into my room and threw away EVERYTHING on the floor. Seriously, I can't tell you how muhc stuff I lost as a kid hahaanother nicer trick is taking it away for two weeks or taking it and making him use his allowance to "buy" an item back. "no fair! that was my birthday gift!" "Yes fair, you were warned and didn't pick up your room"

Just to clarify: The flight to phoenix forum is for "other" discussion that does not belong to the Twilight universe. The gutter being one of the few "Adult" threads, gets to cover just about everything from the twilight world to... you name it. That being said, hope you all enjoy your new thread and let's try to keep most of the BDB discussion to it's own thread. Hope you all having a great thanksgiving super long weekend

OH BOY - I've been looking all day for the new thread and here it is!!

Welcome to all new Guttermates... This is an enjoyable place (especially when Nissanmama posts her PSD - which means "paranormal stud of the day"!!) I'm only about a month on to this site myself, and the acronyms can be a bit scary at first. I'm finally learning them all.

For anyone who hasn't read BDB (Black Dagger Brotherhood), I highly recommend it. I was a bit leary of them at first, but after reading the first one, I was totally hooked. As of now there are 6 in the series, the 7th coming in April. There is also a newly published "Insider's Guide" that states there will be 10 books (but we can always hope for more). I don't recommend reading the Insider's Guide until you've read the other books because of spoilers (plus a lot of it wouldn't make sense). There is a BDB thread, but be forewarned - it will have spoilers. Several of us have read them now (and/or are reading them), and please feel free to PM me with questions.

Old question of day: To my recollection, we never ate anything unusual for Christmas dinner. My favorite is a stuffed pork tenderloin.

Variety: Sorry to hear of your troubles; I think my mates have given the same suggestions I have. My 5-year-old son is having issues with picking up and we have to give him specifics like "pick up the clothes on the floor and put them in the dirty clothes basket." I do have to "hand-hold" him a lot, but he is only 5. AND- I have done the "toss everything left on the floor" consequence with him before. It partially worked, but I had a very sad 5 year old for a while.

Well hello to everyone and I'm looking forward to getting to know you!

Since I see movie discussion is open... What did everyone think of the movie?

Personally, it was better than I had expected it to be. My first experience seeing the movie wasn't as great as the following times due to the mass amount of teen girls screaming and yelling (at the midnight premier) plus it was late and I was just plain tired.

I think the actors all fit into their roles very well, the music was great, and I think it captured at least the main points from the book. I was so impressed with Billy Burke's portrayal of Charlie. He really embodied that role well. And Peter Facinelli looked so handsomIy vampiric!

I think a lot of the deep love was lost on the movie, but given time constraints and the low budget, it was good.

I do think the "spider monkey" line was ridiculous, and the running through the trees looked pretty tacky.

QOTD: I don't know if we've ever had any strange Christmas dinners. We always have the usual turkey, lots of appetizers, casseroles, etc. I suppose one sort of unusual thing we always have is bunquet, an almond paste pastry that is not too common.

Variety - I have a 12 year old son and he can mess up his room within an hour of cleaning it up. I think the suggestions that were provided are great. I know that with my son, taking away the computer or the Xbox gets him to straighten up but they aren't gone for just a day. It starts with a week and then if he doesn't "Fly Right" then another week is added until he finally figures things out. When he is given things back it's only for an hour a day.

I think at the age they are now, we are the "BIG MEANIES" who are making their life horrible. So, all I can suggest it to stick to your guns and put the rules out there and if they aren't followed then the consequences will have to be dealt with.

Old Question of The Day:Like Twimom we didn't have anything too outrageous. There were some foods that my family enjoys but I can't stomach them (chitlings-maybe the Southerners know about them and saurkraut, my spelling is way off).

Wow, I'm gone a two days and we have a new thread! I just LOVE new thread smell!!

Welcome Ambrosia!! Glad you found our little slice of heaven here!

Variety, I have nothing new to add, but will keep you in my thoughts. I was a stubborn child and had to learn responsibility and chores the hard way. My parents took away privileges or I wasn't allowed to do something unless the chores were done. My dad would give me a list Saturday morning and I have the weekend to complete them and if I didn't, during the week and next weekend, no TV, no gaming, no going to friend's houses or going out with friends. Unless I wanted to go out with friends (when I was in high school) Saturday night, the chores had to be completed prior or I had to stay home. It worked for me.

QOTD: I grew up in a family that had roast beef for Christmas dinner. When I met my hubby's family and had Christmas dinner with them, it was weird for me. They do a traditional turkey dinner (same as they do for Thanksgiving) for Christmas. To me that was weird, now I am used to it.

I am the Impulsive VampVixen.Thanks toSprtyGalandFryfor the AWESOME banner!

Variety- My suggestion... no food in the room. Shut the door and don't look inside. Or, you can tell him that what he can't clean up will be gone (come in with black garbage bags and gather it all up.) Then each day his room is clean he can earn one item back.

I'd let him know that it is his choice to make. There are consequesnces for all choices.clean the room = keep your stuffno clean = good buye stuffkeep room clean = earn stuff back

then... if it still can't be cleaned if he has too much stuff... there is no earning it back... it goes to donation.

Running away at 11 is not okay... where is he going? If he is going to a friends house... leave him there and start packing up his stuff. If he is running away somewhere dangerious, that's another story.

I have A LOT of ideas. PM me if you want.

I am not a fan of nailing the window shut. #1 it's a fire escape hazard. #2 if he is impulsive - he might smash the window. #3 he might just be running out the front door.

It is tricky dealing with kids because what works fror one does not work for another. It's quite challanging and exhaustingly draining! Some kids do not care what you take away (and sometimes you have to take a way a lot of things before you figure out what matters to them.

Your goal is to get what you want without creating more of a delema.

There is a BDB thread!!!! P.S. Get them at used book stores! The only one I couldn't get used was the first one and it took me 8 stores to find it. Mind you - I have yet to read it. I like the thread same also.

Welcome Ambrosia - always room for more. Ask questions if you are lost (it will happen) and read the first few pages just so you know a few of the terms, that if you are like me... will forget and have to ask again.