Sharknado 6: It’s About Time is upon us. Do you have no idea what is going on? Here are the most basic basics to get you up to speed. I don’t guarantee you won’t be confused, but maybe you will be less confused.

Sharknado

Fin (Ian Ziering) is a former pro surfer who owns a beachside bar. A huge pod of sharks is headed toward Santa Monica, presumably driven there by a hurricane. His BFF is Baz (Jason Simmons), server Nova (Cassandra Scerbo) and barfly George (John Heard) are all present when the hurricane/water spout sucks up the sharks and sends them flying through windows and into the streets where they immediately start trying to eat people.
Fin’s motto is Semper Paratus: Always be prepared. This comes up a lot.
Fin decides he has to leave to get his ex-wife April (Tara Reid) and daughter Claudia (Aubrey Peeples) out of town to safety. George gets eaten by sharks.
April and Claudia hate Fin for undisclosed reasons, but they decide to leave with him and his companions because sharks eat April’s new BF. They decide they have to go to the flight school where their son Matt (Charles Hittinger) is training.
Stuff happens and more people get eaten by sharks.
They find Matt and his other flight school students hiding in a hangar. During a quiet moment we find out that Nova hates sharks because she saw her grandfather get eaten by sharks when she was a child. Also, Claudia is a brat.
They determine that the sharknados can be dissipated by propane bombs, so Matt and Nova take a helicopter up into the air while multiple sharknados hit, and are successful. Nova then falls out of the copter and is swallowed whole by a shark.
Meanwhile, Fin takes up his weapon of choice, a chainsaw, and everyone fights sharks on the ground. Baz gets eaten by a shark. Interesting note: If you kill a shark in the air it will fall to the ground. ???
They get rid of the sharknados and Fin and April decide they like each other after all. Nova is rescued from the shark.

Sharknado 2: The Second One

Fin and April are back together. April has written a book “How to Survive a Sharknado.” During a plane trip to NY, April’s left hand is bitten off by a shark.
Fin meets up with family and old friends, including Skye (Vivica A. Fox), who was kind of a high school sweetheart. She still has a crush on him but he’s with April now so they are just pals. Sharknados hit New York. The propane bombs don’t work as well as last time. They use electricity and freon. Skye is eaten by sharks. Fin finds the shark that bit off April’s hand and proposes. Everyone loves New York.

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

Fin and April are remarried and expecting a baby. Fin is honored at the White House for his sharknado heroics when a sharknado happens! April is with her mom May (Bo Derek), and Claudia at Universal Studios. Nova and her new partner Lucas meet up with Fin, because they are now world-class sharknado fighters. Lucas is eaten by sharks. They travel to FL to save the family. Fin’s estranged dad Gil (David Hasselhoff) gets involved because he works for NASA. Gil, Fin and April fight sharks in space with a laser satellite. Fin and April fall to earth having been swallowed whole by sharks. Both are able to cut their way out of the sharks’ bodies, and the baby, little Gil, is born while plummeting to earth inside a shark. A shark lands on April and we all get to vote on Twitter if she lives.

Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens

5 years have passed and the family has moved to a farm in Kansas. April is dead. Gil Sr. gets rescued from space.
Astro-X (Space-X parody) has developed weather control capabilities. Their headquarters are in Las Vegas. Fin and family to go Las Vegas for a family reunion. Matt marries Gabrielle (Imani Hakim), who he met while serving in Iraq. They jump out of a plane together after saying their vows. Meanwhile a tornado hits a shark aquarium in Las Vegas and a sharknado happens! The family tries to escape to Kansas, but the ‘nados seem to be following them, spawning:
A cownado
A hailnado
A lavanado
A nukenado
Astro-X manages to take care of everything but the nukenado.
But April is NOT DEAD! Her mad scientist dad stole her body and made her a cyborg. She returns to meet her now 5-year old son, who rejects her, saying “you’re not my mommy, my mommy is a shark!”
Fin and April lure the nuke/sharknado to Niagara Falls (it’s following them!) to cool it, and fight sharks with a mech suit and lasers. Everyone is swallowed by sharks, but are mostly OK, except for Gabrielle who is killed in the cownado. 😦 April rescues little Gil and he accepts her as his mom.

Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

It is the sharknado apocalypse. American is in ruins, and the sharknado fighters travel the world fighting sharknados. But it is all for naught. Everyone dies except for Fin, who is left wandering the barren wasteland of earth with April’s head in a hobo sack. But wait! A vehicle is fast approaching out of nowhere. Who is it, but little Gil (Dolph Lundgren), all grown up and from the future! He’s here to get his dad so they can fight sharknados thoughout time!

Sharknado 6: It’s About Time premiers tonight, August 19, 2018 on SyFy.