I've always imagined the way Chris Harrison would say those parting words to me when I did not receive the final rose. And now the time has come, iBuddies. After almost four years, more than 2,500 blog posts and approximately a thousand hours spent recapping The Bachelor, it's time for me to take a moment and say my goodbyes.

Still -- if you'll forgive me getting all sincere up in here for
a second -- it's bittersweet to leave a website I've put so much work
and love and myself into, and difficult to leave a company that has
helped me grow and introduced me to some of my closest friends in the
world, and sad to leave this weird community, and you lovable weirdos
who inhabit it, that I've grown to care about so much.

When I began at BuddyTV in 2008, I had no idea what I was getting into -- and, truth be told, I wasn't sure I'd be able to sustain an interest in writing about television (especially reality television) for very long. Then, as so many, many, many times before and since, I was dead wrong. Now I know that, as with so many, many, many things in life, writing about reality television is what you make of it.

Except Bachelor Pad. I will go to my grave knowing for a fact that there are no redeeming or salvageable qualities about that soulless theater of ham-fisted, half-brained, Axe-scented rubes. Oh, which reminds me, can you BELIEEEEVE the way Chris Bukowski is treating those girls? It's like, just because they're all professional spokemodels who continually apply to be treated like disposable sex objects on television doesn't mean they don't have FEELINGS. Ugh, that guy.

(Subtext alert! About to link you to some of my personal favorite posts from throughout the years...)

For example, I have learned that, whatever it is that you're doing, you might find that most people aren't "in it for the right reasons." Do your best to ignore those people. Find your kindred spirits, and say to them, "I AM here to make friends." Friendship is the best!

I've also learned to never attack someone for something they can't change, like their looks or their mom. That's mean and pointless. And internet commenters don't like it, and will be mean about your looks and/or mom right back. Plus, it's actually WAY more fun, and effective, to make fun of people for things they can change, like the stupid thingsthey say and do.

One thing I've definitely learned is something I don't think most people on reality television know (which is maybe a good thing since, if they did know, there would shortly be no more reality television to watch) and that is that confidence is good, but blind ambition stuffed inside willful ignorance and deep-fried in a thick layer of self-importance is bad. The only thing worse than a cocky bastard is a cocky bastard who thinks he's a humble martyr.

Thanks to those of you who spent your time reading my silly jokes about these silly shows we love. And special thanks to those of you who have taken the time to write thoughtful, nice and constructive comments throughout the years. You have kept me honest, made me laugh and made me a better writer. I'm very grateful to have been a part of your lives, however remotely.

You can still find me on Twitter, where I'll post any future blogging/writing stuff as it happens, along with other updates about my mental lapses and those asinine Bachelor theories (yes, I expect I'll still be watching and commenting) that now have nowhere else to go. Without this wonderful open forum at my disposal, maybe I'll actually use it more often.