i've just finished simon vs. the homosapiens agenda. that was a powerful book. but afterwards, as i always do, i feel empty. as the book closes, a piece of me fades. it causes me to reflect. lately, i've been thinking about past relationships. how none of them ever seem to lead anywhere. how they really all hit a dead end. in high school, i could've potentially going to go to prom with my best male friend at the time. but after prom, he confessed to me that he wanted to ask, but didn't because he didn't think he was "smart enough" to go with me. for years, that's stuck to the insides of my cranium. when things come to a halt with a guy, i always remember that conversation. do all guys see me this way? i don't know. but right now, i'm feeling a little lost in the love department. feeling a little empty and a little down. i'm not really sure what's happening with anything quite frankly. all i know is that lady bird is just a little too realistic. i love it, but if my life was turned into a film, it would exactly be lady bird. (enjoy + comment.)

| 7.2.18 |

my life currently

consists of my

mom’s orange bag

and lady bird

hitting a little

too close to

home, unanswered texts

wallowing in his

phone. certain that i

want to move

to arizona and

that i actually

do miss him.

uncertain about where

my next check

is going to

come from and

when he’ll call

again. i’m sure

that i’m alive

and i was

born to be.

*this post was featured on Unlunacy (Chaz)'s blog. this post really rang true to me as twelve other bloggers shared "the moment they knew."*