Marge: We can't trick these guys. They are highly trained professionals!(Ruth turns off the car lights.)Chief Wiggum: Oh my god, it just disappeared! (Gasp) It's a ghost car! (Slams on brakes) There are ghost cars all over these highways you know.Homer: Hold me!Chief Wiggum: Only if you hold me!

(Homer negotiates a baby-sitting rate with Lionel Hutz.)Homer: We pay 8 dollars for the night and you can take 2 popsicles outta the freezer.Lionel Hutz: Three.Homer: Two.Lionel Hutz: Okay, two and I get to keep this old birdcage!Homer: Done!

Marge: I'm disappointed in you. But it turns out I had a wonderful time with Ruth Powers. In fact, we're going out again tomorrow night.Homer: Marge, that's twice, I think you're spending entirely too much time with this woman!

Fireman with saw: Mr. Simpson there's no easy way to say this, were going to have to saw your arms off.Homer: Awww, but they'll grow back won't they?Fireman: Yeah, sure. They'll grow back.Other Fireman: Are you just holding on to the can.Homer: Yeah, why?