I've Moved!!!

When I think of Tantric sex, the first thing that comes to mind is rock musician Sting. We've all heard by now that he's this awesome Tantric lover, that he and his wife have amazing sex for hours on end, no doubt hanging off the ceiling and the chandeliers, taut rock star perfection glistening with charged sweaty erotic concentration. . . well!

Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, by Pala Copeland and Al Link presents Tantric sex for the rest of us. Ordinary everyday folks with stressful jobs, children, and perhaps an extra pound or twenty can also be Tantric lovers. De-mystifying Tantra for ordinary people, this easy-to-read guide combines the best of down-to-earth sex and relationship advice with a nice overview of Tantra and how to incorporate some or all of its practices into a committed, lifelong, monogamous relationship.

The two big things that just leapt off the page as I read this book were "This just makes so much sense, I can't believe I'm not doing it" and "I could really do this...this is SO within the realm of possible I can't believe I'm not doing it." Copeland and Link have taken the esoteric sexual secrets of the East and repackaged them, translating and transmuting them into commonsense practices and techniques that practically anyone can feel comfortable with.

The view of Tantra in the book falls within a long western tradition of taking religions and philosophies from the East, removing the specific religious aspects, deities, and rituals, and presenting a more abstract set of principles that can get results without having to be a Buddhist or a Hindu. Coming from a Christian background, I couldn't help but think that many of the principles in the book were complimentary to a western worldview, while others dramatically re-evaluated traditional views. One of the areas where Eastern ideas were most obvious was in the discussion of chakras, or energy centers, in the body. While I could accept the idea that people experience energy as residing in certain centers in the body, I found many of the details regarding the chakras esoteric and hard to take seriously. Despite this, however, one can take the pieces that work and incorporate them selectively into your sex life, discarding what feels alien or uncomfortable.

The second half of the book gets into the nut and bolts of Tantric meditation and sexual practice. Beginning with an overview of the seven energy centers in the body, Copeland and Link present breathing exercises, muscle exercises, sexual positions, mood enhancers, and other hints for more soulful lovemaking. They actually make sense out of sexual positions. I've read many books that merely list the sexual positions, failing to the mention the role each sexual position plays in lovemaking. I never knew that some of the more movement limiting sexual positions are actually intended to slow down the pace while maintaining the emotional connection between lovers. Thank you for explaining this!

It was surprising to me that this book about spiritual sex spent the first 100 pages or so speaking mostly about emotional states, communication skills, unspoken beliefs and how they can shape and overshadow a relationship. Yet it underscores the conviction of both the authors and myself that what happens outside the bedroom in the relationship has a radical impact on one's sex life. Without a healthy relationship in which each partner is willing to deal with their "stuff," spiritual growth and sexual ecstasy just isn't going to happen. "What causes the relationSHIP to sink is the accumulated weight of unresolved 'stuff.'" (p. 94)