I have something here. Is it more affective if I replace the 'she's to 'you's?

When she speaks,
there's a soothing innocence.
When she sings,
I hear a ringing harp.
She resonates amidst the ocean
of dandelions.
She's the sunflower in the garden.
Her delicate words brimming
with hope.
The shine of her honeyed
petals spring the daylight.

"If we've only got one try, if we've only got one life. If time, was never on our side. Well before I die, I wanna burn out bright."