Author: Devin de Gruyl
Title: _Pretty Soldier Sailor Andromeda_
Episode 101: "It Happened One Night"
Size: About 60K
Rating: PG-13 (language, brief nudity)
Abstract: A SM fanfic author's life is twisted completely around when
his own creation, Lina "Sailor Andromeda" Takashi, is
brought to life under mysterious circumstances. First in a
proposed 24-episode series.
E-mail: ddegruyl@infinet.com
Homepage: http://www.infinet.com/~ddegruyl/smoon/pssa.htm
[A word to the wise: Do not be misled by the seeming tired familiarity of
this story's title, nor its painfully familiar opening paragraphs. If you'll
just bear with me, I think you'll quickly discover that, of all the "fanfic
Sailors" that have proliferated online, our friend Lina Takashi is... well,
something quite different. You only *think* you know her...]
Pretty Soldier Sailor Andromeda
Episode 101
"It Happened One Night"
by Devin de Gruyl
(The here-we-go-again Kid)
---
Sailor Andromeda felt a series of chills run through her spine as she
approached the end of the cavern. Behind that door just ahead, she knew, lay
the ultimate test of her abilities. There was almost no telling what Zalania
had in store for her...
she heard an inner voice complain.
"OK, I'm scared," she muttered under her breath in reply. "But who
wouldn't be?"
Lina, of course, knew the answer to that. *She* wouldn't be - at least,
not normally. But this was no longer a matter of simply polishing off one of
the many legions of cookie-cutter monsters Zalania had thrown her way. She
was now going one-on-one with the self-proclaimed heir apparent to Queen Beryl's
throne - and somebody who had already either captured or killed the other
Sailor Senshi.
That meant all the old rules went flying right out the window.
She had reached the huge stone doors that, she knew, lead directly to
Zalania's inner sanctum. She paused, took a deep breath, surreptitiously
crossed herself for luck - that was a gesture she'd picked up from Rei, and her
Catholic-school background - and, feeling about as ready as she ever would be,
pushed the doors open and stepped inside.
No sooner had she crossed the threshold than she heard a loud *CRASH!*
from behind her. With a little gasp, Andromeda threw a glance over her
shoulder to find that the doors had, indeed, slammed shut behind her.
No turning back now.
Lina took a moment to regain her composure, and pressed gamely forward.
There was only one way out of this now, and that was straight ahead... through
Zalania herself.
After only a few steps, Andromeda heard a booming voice that seemed to
come from all directions at once:
"So, you've finally arrived."
Andromeda wildly scanned the darkened room, searching in vain for the
source of the voice. "Who said that?!" she demanded. "Show yourself!"
"Very well -- you've earned the right to know your executioner." A series
of footsteps could be heard, as eventually a dark, slender female figure began
to emerge from the shadows in front of Andromeda.
"Zalania, I presume," she muttered.
Her opponent twisted her lips into an evil smile. "Correction, my dear -
*Queen* Zalania, ruler of the Dark Kingdom."
"Yeah, whatever," Andromeda growled. "Am I supposed to be impressed by
that?"
"You impudent little...!!!" But Zalania got hold of herself. "...ah
well, not that it matters; I'll be rid of you very shortly. Observe!"
With a grand flourish, the entire room became bathed in light. Lina
instinctively blinked and shielded her eyes while they adjusted to the sudden
change. When she was able to look around her again, she gasped in horror.
Lining the walls of the room... were the other Sailor Senshi. Mars,
Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, and Sailor Moon herself.
All fully encased in crystal.
All with expressions of terror frozen on their faces.
None showing any signs of life.
Zalania seemed to take great delight in Andromeda's mute horror. "Oh,
they're not dead," she explained, as if that made any difference. "They're
fully aware of everything going on around them - they just can't do anything
about it. It makes their suffering so much more... *enjoyable*, don't you
think?"
Andromeda could only stare in slack-jawed shock at the horrific sight all
around her. Her friends... the people who had put their trust in her...
"...y-y... you..." she muttered, her voice gradually increasing in volume
and fury. "...you... you *MONSTER!!!*"
"Why, thank you," Zalania said, with just a touch of sweetness permeating
the hateful tone in her voice.
Andromeda, however, was not amused. "Go to Hell," she spat. "GALACTIC
VORTEX!!!"
A large tornado appeared in her cupped hands, which she "shot" at Zalania
by making a pitcher's motion at Zalania. The self-professed Queen of Darkness,
however, had no trouble at all leaping over the projectile.
"SPIRIT GALE!!!"
Again, though, Zalania appeared totally unaffected by Andromeda's attack.
She stood like a rock against the hurricane-force winds the Spirit Gale
summoned up against her.
"Very amusing," Zalania admitted. "Too bad playtime's over..." With
that, she unleashed an attack of her own. About twenty or so fireballs
materialized around her body, which then unleashed themselves in Lina's
direction.
Direct hit. Lina screamed as the flames seared her flesh and knocked her
to the ground.
This was almost unreal. In all of the time she had been doing this, she
had never felt pain anywhere closely resembling what she now felt. It was
almost as if the fires were designed to drain away all of her reserves, leaving
her powerless. Gamely, she struggled back to her feet, choking on the acrid
smoke that rose from the char-marks on her formerly pristine Senshi uniform.
"You're... gonna have... to do better... than that," she managed through
all the agony she was feeling.
Zalania almost shrugged. "Fine with me." And let loose with another
attack, just like the last one.
It had the same result. Andromeda crumpled to the floor the instant the
first fireball made contact. She made no effort to get back up again this
time; the pain was now so intense she literally could not feel her arms or legs
anymore.
Zalania stared down at her beaten adversary, and cackled in triumph. "I
knew you'd never be a match for me," she gloated. "Now, you can join your
friends in eternal sleep!"
There was no trace of Lina's earlier flippancy now; her gaze was one of
terror, and if it had been a graceful option, she very likely would have begged
for her life.
Wincing, she tried to think of a plan, even as Zalania began chanting the
words that would entomb her in crystal for all eternity...
---
"..."
Gary stared dumbly at the screen for several minutes, trying to figure
this situation out. This is where he kept running into trouble; Sailor
Andromeda had to find herself in an inescapable situation in order to
heighten the drama and intensity of this, the final encounter between
her and the evil Zalania.
After eighteen chapters of buildup, this almost HAD to be a show-
stopping, edge-of-your-seat, explosive climax. The perfect way to do
that would be to have poor Lina try to get herself out of the ultimate
deathtrap.
And therein lay the problem Gary Evans was having. He had made his
villain TOO good, at least in this situation. There was almost no way on God's
green earth that Lina could extricate herself from this predicament. Or at
least, none that he could see.
Briefly, he flashed back to a story he had once read - probably apocryphal
- about how Chester Gould, the creator of the "Dick Tracy" comic strip, had
once written the famous lantern-jawed detective into a deathtrap that was so
inescapable, so diabolically perfect, that even *he* was stumped as to how he'd
pull his creation's bacon from the fire. His initial decision, one that was
quickly and wisely shot down by his friends, was to simply have Tracy break
the "fourth wall," complaining to the unseen artist that "OK, you've *really*
done it this time, Gould, NOW what?!" - at which point, a hand would have been
shown actually *erasing* the imminent threat to Tracy's life, allowing the
story to continue... in effect, the ultimate deus ex machina.
It was a clever, inventive, and potentially funny solution... but, from a
dramatic standpoint, it stunk. And Gary knew better than to try anything like
that.
However, at the moment, it seemed the only way to save Andromeda's life.
Unless, of course, he could come up with something better...
he thought,
"Yeah, shut up, I know," he answered himself out loud, as if this would
do any good. "I'm thinkin'... I'm thinkin'..."
He always thought best when he was on his feet. He stood up from his
computer and started to pace around his studio apartment. He crossed to the
picture window. He wandered over to the staircase leading to the loft
bedroom. Finally, as if to complete the imaginary triangle he was walking,
he went to the kitchen to fix himself a cup of coffee.
It was no use; he just couldn't think of anything. He had made her
injuries hurt too much, he had made Zalania too resistant to her attacks, and
he'd even foregone giving her any kind of last-resort, deus ex machina escape
route. Gary sighed deeply and resigned himself to having to rewrite his big
climax yet again. This had all been so much easier when he was just starting
on this story, when he had far more latitude with the plot and could mold it
into different directions almost at will. But now, at the climactic point, he
was fairly well locked in to just one course of action.
He had now spent almost a full year of his life documenting the adventures
of Lina Takashi, AKA Sailor Andromeda, for the benefit of Sailor Moon fans the
world over. Prior to this, he had never really written any fiction of any
kind, let alone anime-based fan fiction. He didn't even really consider
himself a writer at all.
Gary cut off that thought before it could take over his mind - as
thinking about Naomi invariably did. The passing of more than one year did
nothing to erase the sadness over what had happened to her... nor his own guilt
over it.
In any event, "The Adventures of Sailor Andromeda" had become something of
a cult favorite among the hordes of SM fanfic readers. He received, on
average, six fan e-mails per week praising him for creating Lina and giving her
such a fun, likable personality. In a fanfic world literally flooded with
dozens and dozens of cookie-cutter "new" Sailor Senshi - above and beyond the
thirteen total that had been seen in the actual SM anime - Lina Takashi had a
certain attitude, a certain stylishness that put her in a league entirely
separate from all others like her. "An obvious labor of love," one notable
fanfic reviewer had remarked. "The author clearly likes Lina a great deal, as
a person as well as a character, and thus has infused her with one of the most
complete personalities of any fanfic Sailor to date."
If only those fans knew what had inspired her creation...
Gary sighed, and poured the rest of the coffee down the drain. "This just
isn't working," he commented aloud. "I'll just have to come back to this in
the morning... maybe I'll come up with something in a dream..."
With a groan, he went back to his computer, saved the work he had already
done (in the faint hope he'd be able to salvage it later), and powered it down.
Then, in a moment of self-consciousness, he peeked out the large picture-window
doors that led to the apartment's balcony. From here, he had a decent view of
the parking lot, and the small forested area surrounding it.
Recently, within the last two weeks, there had been reports of some
tough-looking customers lurking around down there in the middle of the night,
preying on unsuspecting visitors and returning residents. However, as yet,
nobody had said Word One about them to the police. Gary, by nature an
inquisitive sort, found that very strange. He had made a point to try and find
out if these stories had any truth to them at all, but so far, he hadn't had
any luck.
Tonight looked to be no different. He looked, but could not find any hint
of movement or anything out of the ordinary. "Ah well..." he sighed, drawing
the curtain closed. "Who did you think you were, Lt. Columbo or somebody?"
With that, he trudged up the stairs to the bedroom loft, and within
minutes he was asleep.
He had no way of knowing that his life was about to change forever...
---
As Gary slept, a very odd thing happened in the apartment.
Without any outside help, the computer suddenly activated, running through
its BIOS startup.
However, at the point when it would have started to load Windows, it
seemed to freeze. Gradually, the image on the screen glowed brighter and
brighter, swallowing up all the text until the screen just showed a very bright
light.
It continued to shine, far beyond the point where a monitor's picture tube
would normally have burned out. Finally, at about a level where the human
retina would have been scorched even through squeezed­shut eyelids, something
even stranger began.
The light from the monitor coalesced itself into a sphere, a virtual ball
of light energy. This traveled off the screen, and slowly began to make its
way across the living room, to the couch.
Once it got there, it settled itself onto the cushions... and, once it had
come to rest, began to change its form.
It grew to an oblong shape fairly quickly. Eventually, what looked to be
arms and legs could begin to be made out, as gradually its light dimmed and
lost its intensity. Slowly, but surely, more details - a head, fingers, toes,
hair, eyes, and the rough outline of a human body - could be discerned.
By the time the last of the light had faded, its form had become that of a
nude, sleeping human female, curled up on the couch in a fetal position.
After a moment, she snapped her eyes open...
---
Some strange noises filtered up from the main room of the apartment
to the loft. Gary awoke with a start when his ears registered the
sounds as something quite unnatural for this ungodly hour of the morning.
"...huh... whuzzat...? Whoozere?"
Gary fumbled around in bed, trying to locate the edge. His brain was
always the last thing to come on-line in the morning. Finding his slippers,
he managed to remember how to sit up, push his way off the bed to his feet,
and quietly make his way to the top of the staircase leading down.
It was only as he put his foot on the first stair that his brain finally
clicked into the "on" position.
Nervously, he managed a voice that came as close as he could at the
moment to "commanding". "Who's down there?"
No response. Just the continued noises of somebody rummaging around
downstairs - the kitchen, probably, from the sounds they were making.
Gary could hear silverware tinkling and glasses clinking together,
as if they were systematically going through every drawer and cabinet.
Gary looked sharply around the
loft for anything he could use as a weapon. He had to settle for a small
table lamp beside his bed. It was the only thing he had that could be used
to defend against any personal assault - everything else up here was either
too large, too small, or dirty clothes.
He unplugged the lamp, removed the shade and light bulb, and brandished
it with both hands as if it were a saber. "I said, who's down there?!" he
called again from the loft railing. "I'm warning you, I'm armed and
dangerous!"
Still no reply. "OK, I'm coming down there, and if I see anybody, I'm
callin' the cops!" He started down the stairs slowly - - and kept his eyes and ears warily open for any sudden
motions around him.
The main room was undisturbed; everything seemed to be where Gary had
left it before going to bed. He noted that his computer's monitor was on.
he thought,
Muttering to himself, he reached over and shut down the system.
A light was coming from the kitchen area of the apartment. Just as
Gary had thought. From this distance, he couldn't quite make out who was
there... but there was definitely somebody in there.
Stealthily, he crept over to the kitchen... took a moment to hide himself
behind a wall, as he'd seen cops do in movies... and, finally, brandishing his
lamp, whirled around and jumped into the kitchen.
Gary froze when he saw his intruder. He could only gape open-mouthed
at what was here to greet him.
The girl standing before him was completely naked.
She had thick red hair, large green eyes, and seemed to be completely
unaware of her own nudity. She looked him in the eye as if absolutely
nothing were wrong or out of the ordinary.
"Hi there," she said in a bright, perky voice. "This your apartment?"
The only thing that came out of Gary's mouth was a series of tight,
unconnected sound effects.
The girl reached over to him and gently, almost playfully, pushed his
lower jaw into a closed position. "You're starting to catch flies there,
ya know," she grinned.
"Y-y-y...you-you..." Gary stammered, trying to regain control of his
mouth. "...you're... you're... got no... no..."
"Huh?" She gave him a puzzled look. "What's wrong?"
Gary continued to stutter, but managed to point the girl in the
direction of a clock on the wall. (It was the only reflective surface
outside of the bathroom mirror in the apartment.)
She shrugged. "Yeah, so? I know what time it is --"
She cut herself off when she turned towards the clock and got a glance
at her reflection in the polished-silver face.
Gary could see the light gradually dawn on his "guest" that she wasn't
wearing any clothes.
When it hit her, she screamed!
Gary winced at the sound. "Keep it down!" he whispered loudly. "These
walls aren't very thick, and my landlord's right next door!"
The girl just screamed again and made a futile effort to cover herself
with her arms. She was absolutely in hysterics, and Gary got even more
worried. As his uninvited guest raced madly around the room, he silently
began going over a mental list of other apartment buildings in the area...
A loud and insistent knocking came at the door. Gary thought.
Quickly, he seized the rampaging madwoman by the arms. "Shhhhhh,
quiet, calm down!!" he hissed. "Listen to me --"
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!!" she shouted frantically. "RAPE!!!
RAPE --"
"Shut UP!" He punctuated the point by clamping his hand over her
mouth. She obligingly clammed up. "Now, you listen to me and do EXACTLY
what I say, and maybe we won't both get our butts thrown out on the street, got
it?!"
She nodded vigorously.
"OK then..." He pointed to the foot of the staircase, where a linen
closet with a sliding door was situated. "Go in there and close the door - and
for God's sake, keep your mouth SHUT! I'll let you out when I get rid of this
guy..."
She surprised Gary by actually following his order. When she had been
safely tucked away in the closet, Gary ran to the front door of the
apartment. After hyperventilating a few breaths to create an illusion of
discombobulation - not hard to do, given what had just happened - he opened
the door.
"IcanexplainMrCaldwellpleasedon'tkickmeoutofthebuildingIcanexplain," he
breathlessly managed.
The imposing landlord stepped into the apartment with blood in his eye
and (Gary fervently hoped not) eviction on his mind. "What goes on in here,
Evans?!" he demanded. "SOME people SLEEP during the night, you know!"
"I'm sorry, really," Gary continued, speaking as if his life depended on
it. For all he knew, it just may have. "I just must have had the TV turned up
too loud..."
Mr. Caldwell scoffed. "Oh *really*? We'll see about THAT..." He crossed
over to where the TV was, and put his hand on the vents in the back. "Hmm,
it's ice cold. Now *that's* rather odd, isn't it?"
Gary just laughed nervously.
"Care to try another explanation - or to save time, should I just fill out
your eviction notice right now?!"
Whether Gary could have come up with some sort of alternate explanation
would never be known. That's because, as he was struggling to think of
something, *anything* that would placate his landlord, both mens' attention was
grabbed by a series of small clattering noises coming from the corner of the
apartment.
The linen closet door was rattling. Gary breathed a silent curse.
"What's in there?" Mr. Caldwell wanted to know.
"Um... er... ah..."
"What, you don't know?" The landlord's tone became cruelly sarcastic.
"Why, don't tell me that, with all those rumors going around, you're actually
*skimping* on home-security measures, are you?"
"..."
"Well then, we'll just have to find OUT what's in there... WON'T WE?"
Before Gary could stop him, he had stormed over to the door and, with the last
words in his sentence, slid the door wide open with a grand flourish.
Gary groaned audibly as his eyes fell on the strange girl. She had, at
least, managed to find a white towel large enough to wrap around herself, so
she was no longer, strictly speaking, in the buff... but still...
"...er... hi..." he heard her timorous voice emerge from the closet.
Mr. Caldwell's eyes practically rocketed out of their sockets. Here was a
stunningly attractive young redhead, hiding in the closet wearing only a
towel... it didn't take much to piece this one together. After composing
himself, he smiled triumphantly - an evil smirk - and turned to the rapidly
faltering Gary.
"MISSS-ter Evans," he began, with an air of deliberate pomposity. "While
I consider myself a reasonable man - and CERTAINLY not one to meddle in your
personal life - I *DO* have some RULES in my building, as I am sure you
know --"
"What the hell are you DOING here?!!" Gary suddenly thundered. He ran
over to the closet, grabbed the girl by the arm, and pulled her out. "Look,
HOW many times have I told you - I am NOT interested in sleeping with you!!!"
"Huh?" She gaped at him. "What are you talk--"
"Justplayalong," he hissed, quickly and discreetly, in her ear.
"Oh," she said, getting the message. She quickly put on a great show of
sexuality, gently caressing Gary's face. "Aww, come on... give a girl a
*chance*, y'know?"
"Forget it! I'm spoken for, I've told you time and again --"
"Oh, don't be such an old stodge-meister... you know you want me! C'mon"
- she continued to playfully fondle him - "it'll be *fun*..."
"NO!" Then, to Mr. Caldwell, sheepishly: "Er... ahaha... I'm sorry about
this - see, she's been pulling this act on me for months now, at work and
whatnot..."
"...but can you *blame* me?" the girl added, squeezing Gary's cheeks
together. "This hot hunk of man... I can't help myself..."
Mr. Caldwell watched this for about a minute. Finally, he just burst out
laughing. "Oh, this is just too MUCH - so, it's GIRL problems, eh, Evans?"
Gary grinned sheepishly as Lina continued to stroke his face. "Er - yes,
Sir, that's it - girl problems, yep..."
"Y'know, I *was* gonna just kick you out for this - but on the other hand,
it'd be MUCH more fun to watch you try to squirm your way out of this one with
HER!" He gave another hearty laugh. "Have fun, you two - and don't do
anything I wouldn't do!" With a little wink and nudge in Gary's direction, he
went back to his own apartment, chuckling to himself all the way.
Gary breathed one of the deepest sighs of relief he'd ever known. His
quick thinking and fast talking had managed to drive Mr. Caldwell off, even
when he himself never thought it'd actually work.
One disaster down... just one more to go.
"That was great!" the girl squealed with delight. "I think he actually
bought it too..." She half-skipped, half-sprinted across to the foyer. "Just
like I knew you could do it..."
"Hold it *right* there!"
Gary's harsh tone stopped her dead in her tracks.
"The ONLY reason I didn't have him throw you outta here," he said
crisply, "is because I want some answers outta you myself!"
She seemed to be caught off-guard. "What kind of answers ya want?"
"Well, YOU do the math! You come into my home totally naked, you start
going through my kitchen - for all I know, you were probably gonna sell my
silverware to a pawn shop of something, for all the good it'd do you - and you
just about cause me to start filling out change-of-address forms!" He
regarded her with the best steely gaze he had at this hour. "You tell *me*
what you think I wanna know!"
"Um..." She suddenly shut her eyes and grinned from ear to ear, looking
for all the world like a real-life anime girl. "How I can do all that and
still be just so gosh-darned *cute*, right?" she giggled.
Gary made an exasperated noise and threw his hands into the air. "I give
up!" he sighed in resignation. He stormed into the kitchen for some coffee.
"Just tell me this one thing - who put you up to this?"
That puzzled look again. "Put me up to what?"
"Scott? It was Scott, wasn't it?! ...Look, whatever he's paying you,
I'll *double* it - *TRIPLE* it - if you'll just please get your clothes on and
get outta here..."
"Who's Scott?" she asked. "Nobody put me up to *anything*, I swear!"
Gary ignored her, and scooped sugar into his drink. "This is gonna be
worth, oh, I dunno... a Christmas card loaded with plastique? Dead roaches
in his mailbox? A Manilow boxed set? He'll *pay* for this one..."
She crossed over to him and took his hands. "I'm *serious*," she
insisted. "...Oh, I see. You - you don't recognize me, do you?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I do *not* recognize you," Gary growled. "Nor
is there any reason why I should! Look, I'm giving you two minutes to pack up
and get out of my hair before I call the cops..."
The girl looked disappointed. "Are you sure? Take a look at me... look
VERY closely... it'll come to you, I'm sure..."
Gary grumbled, but did as he was asked. It suddenly dawned on him that
he had yet to actually take a *real* look at his uninvited guest; he'd been
too busy being angry, and also trying to throw Mr. Caldwell off the trail. So,
he took this opportunity to really give her the once-over with his eyes:
The girl was almost a full foot shorter than he - perhaps not THAT much,
but he had at least a good eight inches on her. Her thick hair, which tapered
off just below her shoulder blades, was the color of fire, and her jade-colored
eyes were large and exquisite. Her body was almost that of a supermodel,
only somewhat more athletic and not quite as voluptuous. There was almost a
certain... for want of a better term, "air," about her that belied a hidden
power, buried just beneath the surface. She was right; as he gazed at her,
Gary could sense a faint, nagging sense of recognizability at the edges of his
consciousness...
...but, in the end... "...no... no, I'm afraid... I don't know you."
She remained insistent, however. "You *sure*? Not even a *glimmer*?"
"Sorry."
She sighed. "O-kaaay... then, how about this? Does the name 'Lina
Takashi' hold any meaning for you?"
Gary practically spat coffee across the room.
"I can see it does," she said, under her breath.
"H-h-h... how'd you... know about that?!" Gary sputtered. "I mean, yeah,
that story's all over the 'Net, but..."
"I don't just know *about* Lina, Gary," she said, sweetly and with just a
hint of mysteriousness. "You see... I *am* her."
"Her? Her who?"
"Lina Takashi. That's me!"
Gary bolted to his feet and started towards the stairs. "Excuse me,
please..."
The girl followed him. "Where you going? I *mean* it..."
Gary swirled back around to face her. "Look, lady... whoever you are,
whoever put you up to this... it's not working, OK? Lina Takashi is a
character I created. She's a fantasy, a product of my deluded imagination,
and nothing more. She. Doesn't. Exist."
"I'm telling the truth, Gary!"
"And if you honestly believe that... get some help, 'cause you
*obviously* need it! Now GOOD NIGHT!" He stormed up the stairs.
"OK, OK - wait a sec! I'll prove it to you! ...Here, take a look at
this!" She tossed him a small item, which Gary grumbled and caught.
It was a thick, black pen, with an ornate star-shaped cap. In the center
of the star was a symbol Gary did, in fact, recognize: A pair of opposing,
interlocking arcs arranged in the approximate shape of a galactic spiral.
"That's my Andromeda Pen," "Lina" explained. "Exactly the way you
described it in the story, right?"
Gary tossed it back to her, and snorted. "Nice job on that - I really
mean it. You must really be a big fan of my work, to go as far as making your
own Andromeda Pen. I'm flattered - but you're still loopy if you think I'm
buying this for a second!"
She thought fast, as he continued to climb the stairs. "OKOKOK... how
about this? I know you've been having major trouble writing the last chapter
of my story; you keep getting me stuck in a deathtrap you can't find a way out
of!"
This actually made Gary stop for a moment... but no more. "Strike two,"
he shot back. "Anybody could know I've been having trouble with the ending;
I've been bitching about it in the newsgroups often enough. And as for the
deathtrap thing... a lucky guess."
He was nearly at the top now. "Lina" decided to go for broke. "WAIT! I
know --"
Gary reached the bedroom level, and looked over the edge. "Good NIGHT,
'Lina'! You can let yourself out the way you got in --"
"I know... about Naomi," she finished.
Gary instinctively froze at the mention of that name. He felt his fingers
grow cold and stiffen on the railing. He looked down at the girl, no longer
sure what to think of her.
"What do you know about that?" he demanded, in a carefully controlled
monotone.
"You loved her. You really did... but you never had the guts to tell
her. And when she died, you were really down on yourself for it... you were
torturing yourself because you never told her how you really felt, and now it
was... too late." She was almost crying now, feeling the emotion behind the
story she told. "Not long after, you got into the whole Sailor Moon thing -
the series, the books, the fanfics - and decided you wanted to try writing
your own story. And when you went to create your own character..." She
suddenly looked back up at him, her eyes wide. "...you still felt guilty
about Naomi... so, you built a character based on her, hoping to get those
demons out of your system."
She looked up at him sadly. "That's me. Lina Takashi, Sailor
Andromeda... or Naomi Yumeni. Take your pick."
Gary practically bolted back down the stairs. He stopped in front of this
stranger, this intruder, this person with the unmitigated gall to say what she
just did, and seized her wrists.
"How in the HELL did you KNOW that?!!" he roared. "NOBODY knows that!!!"
She wasn't the least bit fazed. "I do," she whispered. "You created
me... the feeling was very strong when you did... I picked it up."
The truth of her words sunk through Gary's rage. He staggered back from
her, holding his head in his hands. "...no... no, this... this can't...
be... it's *impossible*..."
"It's not impossible... it's for real. I'M for real." The girl - Lina -
suddenly brightened again, and giggled. "Hey, c'mon, lighten up a bit here!
This is every author's fantasy come true - their character comes to life right
before their eyes!"
"...I... I just... I..." Gary stammered. It was all too much to take.
"...I... need some air..." He stumbled over to the glass door leading to the
balcony, thumbed it open, and somehow managed to step outside without falling
flat on his face.
Lina simply stared off in the direction he had gone, wondering if,
perhaps, she'd overplayed her hand.
---
Gary leaned over the balcony railing, staring at the parking lot below in
a state of total shock. Fictional characters of your own creation simply did
not just jump off the computer screen and into your life.
he tried to convince himself.
Only it wasn't.
Nor was it a prank, the girl simply an actor hired as part of an elaborate
practical joke. The fact that she knew about Lina's creation - and the
inspiration for the character, something he had never shared with anybody - was
proof. Nobody, not even Scott, knew that particular aspect of Lina Takashi.
And yet, the total stranger in his living room had pegged it exactly, right
down to his own stupidity in never having told Naomi just how much she had
meant to him...
It was, of course, patently impossible. Yet there it was; there was no
other logical explanation for it. And, as a famous detective had once
asserted, after you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter
how improbable, *must* be the Truth.
But if Lina had, indeed, come to life... if, indeed, this entire situation
wasn't just the product of his tortured mind... how? And perhaps more
importantly, *why*? Was God, in His divine wisdom, singling him out for some
kind of cosmic practical joke? Was the girl he had believed to be fictional
somehow real, and now at his house looking for some sort of financial
compensation? Had he simply been using that expired milk in his coffee for too
long?
Gary was so wrapped up in trying to piece this enigma together that he
never heard Lina come out on the balcony behind him. Nor did he notice when
she took up a position next to him, nor did he feel the hand she eventually
placed on his arm.
"Hey, listen... uh..." she began, uncertainly, "...if this is about what I
said back there... I'm really sorry I had to bring that up..."
He did not meet her gaze, continuing to stare at the asphalt three stories
below.
"I just couldn't think of any other way to prove to you that I was telling
the truth," she continued.
Gary shook his head, as if clearing out a year's worth of accumulated dust
from his brain. "You show up stark naked in my living room... you very nearly
cause me to get evicted..."
"Not exactly the best first impression to make, was it?" Lina remarked,
with a little self-deriding chuckle. "And then when I tell you that I'm really
your personal Sailor Senshi --"
He whipped his head around to her so fast that for a moment he actually
feared whiplash. "Yeah, I'm... still workin' on THAT one, OK?"
"Hey, sorry..." Lina sighed. "But, you're right. I understand, I really
do. If it were the other way around, I'm sure I wouldn't believe a story like
this either... at least not at first. You just need some time to think it
over, that's all..."
"Time?" Gary suddenly drew himself to his full height, and took a single,
almost threatening, step in Lina's direction. "You come in here asking me to
accept - at FACE VALUE, no less - the most incredible, ridiculous story that
anybody could tell this side of Pecos Bill... and you say I need TIME to 'think
it over'?! Who the hell do you think you --"
A sudden cacophony from below cut Gary off in midsentence... fortunately
for both he and Lina. "What was THAT?!" Lina shouted over the din.
She and Gary peered over the railing to see what was going on in the
parking lot. The noises were apparently caused by some sort of struggle. A
pair of dangerous-looking thugs had accosted a helpless apartment resident in
one of the darkened alcoves below... and they were, to put not so fine a point
on it, beating the living shinola out of him.
"So... they're for real after all," Gary muttered.
Lina was incredulous. "You KNOW those bozos?!"
"Of course not, but I've heard about 'em - everybody that lives in this
complex has," Gary explained. "Just never actually SAW them before..." he added to himself,
Lina just continued to watch the beating until she could, finally, stand
no more. "They're gonna KILL him!" she cried, her expression hardening into
a mask of determination. "And I, for one, am NOT about to let it happen!"
"Willya keep it down?!" Gary hissed at her. "Don't let them HEAR you..."
But Lina was already gone, having ducked back into the apartment. She
motioned for Gary to join her inside.
"You didn't want to believe that I was who I said I was," she said once
he'd gotten back into the living room. "Well, maybe I can prove once and for
ALL that I'm Lina Takashi, hmm?"
"What're you talking about? You can't take those guys on; they look like
they bench entire GYMS just for fun --"
It was only then that Gary noticed what had suddenly materialized in
Lina's left hand.
He began to feel ill. "Oh no... you're *not*... you *can't*..."
"I can, and I am," Lina said coolly. "Watch..." She held the black-and-
gold Andromeda Pen above her head, and shouted:
"Andromeda Star Power... MAKE UP!!!"
Suddenly, Lina was swallowed up in a blinding flash of light, accompanied
by appropriate-sounding thunder effects. Gary had to shield his eyes for a
moment (while praying, insanely, that Mr. Caldwell did not decide to knock on
his door for a second time). When it was all over, not even three seconds
later, Gary blinked and saw a changed woman standing before him.
Lina was now wearing the traditional Sailor Senshi uniform. There was no
doubt about that; Gary had seen and written about it enough to recognize it
right off. A steely-grey collar and miniskirt worn over a white, sleeveless
bodysuit; giant golden-yellow bow in front with a solid black brooch holding it
in place; elbow gloves with grey padding at the ends; a large black bow tied
in the small of her back; black pumps with ankle straps; golden tiara over her
forehead. She had also, quite inexplicably, sprouted glasses and black,
star-shaped earrings. Around her neck she wore a grey choker bearing the
same "galaxy" symbol Gary had seen in the tip of her pen.
Sailor Andromeda was ready for action.
If Gary was merely stunned by Lina's earlier revelation, he was
absolutely flabbergasted now.
"OK... ready!" she announced. Without another word to Gary, she peeled
off out the door.
Only after she was gone did Gary snap out of his reverie enough to think
about what might come next. If she showed up out there... like THAT...
"Hey, WAIT!!!" he called, running into the main hallway after her. "Hey
you -- Lina -- come back here!!"
But Andromeda was long gone. Gary groaned. With a silent prayer that
Lina wasn't about to do anything stupid, he started off in the direction he had
seen her leave - after placing a quick 911 call to report what was going on in
the parking lot. With any luck, he could talk Lina out of whatever she was
planning on doing before the boys in blue showed up.
---
Using the superhuman speed that being a Sailor Senshi afforded her, Lina
tore through the hallways of the apartment building at almost warp speeds.
As she ran, she could hear a chorus of opening doors and complaining tenants
yelling at her to "Keep the noise down, dammit!" and "Where the hell's the
fire, I'm tryin' to sleep!", among other pleasantries.
It was yet another bad first impression for her, on a night where she was
making more than her share of bad first impressions. However, this time, she
wasn't concerned about that at all. Current matters were just too serious.
Deep down, she couldn't understand why Gary was so antsy about her doing
this. After all, he was the one who had created her with such a deep-rooted
sense of justice - and seeing an innocent person being attacked for no good
reason, when she was in a position of doing something about it, really ate at
that sense. To stand by and do nothing in such a situation was an idea
totally abhorrent to her. Gary knew that - he HAD to, by definition - so why
was he trying to hold her back? It didn't make any sense...
No time for that now, though. She had reached the exit to the parking
lot¸ and through the glass door she could see that the pummeling continued
unabated. she thought, She kicked open
the doors and stepped outside.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!", she shouted.
The two thugs looked up from their victim to assess the newcomer. "Who's
THIS, now?!", one of them demanded.
"You prey on the innocent and attack them without just cause - I won't
stand for it!" Lina continued, going into the standard pre-battle speech Gary
had written for her. "Summoned by the spirits of the wind, I am the child of
the skies, the sailor-suited warrior for love and justice - Sailor Andromeda!
...Submit yourself to the justice of the Four Winds!"
The pair of hooligans watched this display until Lina had struck her final
pose, completing the "ritual". Once that happened, they practically fell over
each other laughing.
Andromeda frowned. Normally, that routine would strike fear into the
hearts of her opponents - even though, she had to admit, it *did* sound a bit
corny - but she'd never been *laughed* at before! "What's so funny?!" she
asked, indignantly. "I *mean* it - you guys're going *down*!"
"Oh, *please*," one of them said through his laughter, falling to his
knees in a condescending gesture of mock supplication, "don't *hurt* us,
Superlady! We'll be *good* from now on, *promise*!"
"Yeah," his partner agreed, making no effort to mask his heavily sarcastic
tone. "We've just gotten in *WAY* over our heads now!"
Lina made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "OK - you boys need a demonstration, is
that it?! Here it comes --"
"LINA!"
Instinctively, she turned in the direction she'd heard her name. Gary had
finally caught up to her, and was obviously trying to pull another fake-out
routine. "THERE you are, young lady - I've been looking all *over* for you!
Your parents aren't gonna like *this* when I tell 'em..."
"Will you get OUTTA here!" she hissed at him. "I know what I'm *doing*!"
Gary ignored her. "You'll have to forgive her," he was explaining to the
thugs. "See, she's - ah - not quite right in the head, you see..."
Lina did a slow simmer on that one.
"So what're you, her father or something?" one of the goons asked Gary.
Gary let out a nervous little chuckle. "Er... you wouldn't believe me if
I told you," he answered honestly. "But you're not far off..."
"Good - 'cause, see, me and 'Tiny' over there, we've got some
principles... we don't beat up girls, or somebody with a mental problem -
right?"
"Yeah," his partner replied. "It just ain't right, y'know?"
Gary let out a sigh of relief. "Well... that's good, anyw --"
He was cut off when the one called "Tiny" quickly reached out and grabbed
him by the collar of his T-shirt. "Ulllk!"
"But now, y'see, YOU, on the other hand," the other one said
patronizingly, "YOU'RE just the kind of guy we like to have some *fun* with!"
Behind them, Lina gasped. "Let him go! NOW!" she demanded.
"Make us," Tiny sneered.
"Yeah - what're YOU gonna do about it?!" his partner agreed. "You're just
a girl!"
"Just a girl?" Lina's eyes narrowed. "JUST a GIRL!?"
Despite being held about four inches off the ground in the grasp of a
man-mountain, Gary heard this and groaned. "Uh-oh... you guys did it now..."
he muttered.
When he first created Lina, Gary had not really given her many aspects of
his own personality. The character was largely based on Naomi, after all, and
not him. However, as he continued to write her story, gradually Gary began,
whether consciously or not, to add certain parts of his character to Lina's
personality profile. Perhaps one of the largest such additions was Gary's
deep-rooted respect for women - while not generally a supporter of "PC"-type
language, he had no patience for people who made sexist and/or racist comments
in his presence. At some point along the way, he had allowed that distaste to
filter down into "The Adventures of Sailor Andromeda".
Naomi had never really seen it as a big deal. However, as these goons
were about to discover, perhaps, Sailor Andromeda cared even less for such
language than Gary did.
Lina stepped forward with determination. There was now an undeniable fire
in her eyes that would have made just about anyone with a pulse give her as
wide a berth as possible. She looked them dead in the eye and said, as
level-voiced as she could, "Take that back. Now."
"Tiny" laughed derisively. "Or you'll what?! Face it - you can't lay a
hand on us! You're probably too worried you'll bust a nail, or smudge your
makeup, or something!"
Andromeda glowered. She shut her eyes and raised her hands skyward.
Gary caught the motion out of the corner of his eyes. Panicked, he knew
what Lina was about to try - he'd created that particular pose, after all.
Taking advantage of "Tiny"'s momentary distraction, he somehow managed to
squirm out of his hands and make a break for (relative) safety behind a parked
car.
A gust of wind began to swirl around Andromeda, causing her skirt to
flutter and her hair to blow forward over her shoulders.
"Spirit..."
The wind seemed to quickly coalesce into a sphere in her upturned palms.
She thrust her arms forward, towards her targets.
"...GALE!!!"
The sphere, like a lightning bolt, shot out of her hands towards "Tiny"
and his partner. When it got near them, it dissipated, trapping them in a gust
of greater-than-hurricane-force winds. It was strong enough and powerful
enough to actually blow them completely off their feet, and back into the woods
just beyond the pavement.
Andromeda gave a little grunt of satisfaction on seeing the results of her
handiwork. "It's not nice to make fun of girls," she shot in the general
direction her opponents had flown in. "You never know when one of 'em is gonna
up and pistol-whip your butt for it!"
Gary looked up from the car he'd dived behind for shelter. "Um, Lina...
is it safe now?"
"Hmm?" She turned and motioned for him to join her. "Yeah, should be - I
don't think they're gonna try crossing me again..."
"Good - because I'VE got a few things to say about that," Gary snapped.
"For starters, you can't just --"
He was cut off by the sound of sirens in the distance, getting louder as
they approached. Gary slapped his forehead. The cops! He'd forgotten all
about his having called them earlier!
Andromeda heard it too. "That sounds like my exit cue," she said. "I'll
let you handle it from here, Gary..."
"You'll WHAT?! Hey, wait --"
"Bye!" And Andromeda leapt off into the distance.
"Hey, Lina...!" Gary called into thin air. "Get back here!!"
Two squad cars screeched to a halt just behind him. Gary heard doors
open, police-band radios blaring their tinny updates, and the jingling sounds
of keys, badges, and assorted metallic adornments as one of the cops came up
behind him.
"Sir?" he asked. "We've had a report of an assault-and-battery taking
place here - know anything about it?"
Gary turned around and tried to regain his composure, if not his sanity.
"Well, officer... it's ah... kind of a long story..."
"We've got the time," the officer explained. "Maybe down at the station?"
Gary let out an exasperated sigh. Wasn't this nightmare over with YET?
---
"...but, at this time, SNET officials are saying that residential phone
rates may only increase by a dollar or two per bill. In Middlet --"
"NO!!! Don't let 'em raise the rates!! SURE, a buck or two don't seem
like much - but HELL, if it's the last two bucks ya got for a loaf of bread?!
So ya STARVE TO DEATH, 'cause they want more money!! Don't let 'em raise the
rates!"
"Um... are you finished?"
"Yeah - just had to get that off my chest. I'm OK now."
"*Uh*-huh. (a-HEM) ...In Middletown early this morning, police finally
apprehended two prison escapees that had been on the lam since early last
month. Donald 'Tiny' Martinson and Richard Dietz, sentenced to 35 years for
armed robbery and manslaughter in 1995, were presumably using the woods around
the Rosewood Commons apartment complex to prey on unsuspecting residents and
mug them for money and supplies. Although state police are not offering any
comment as to how they were taken into custody, an anonymous witness has told
WCTR that it was possibly the result of vigilante justice."
"Waitaminute, Johnny-boy - 'vigilante justice'? Isn't that kinda a
contradiction in terms, there?"
"Well, I --"
"'Cause, you know, the Punisher - you read those books, right?"
"I don't think this is the same thing as THAT, Jerry..."
"Yeah - these two guys were still breathing when they were picked up.
You're right. Keep goin'."
"*sigh* Well, if Jerry's finished interrupting my report, let's do a
quick check on traffic --"
Gary snapped off the radio in disgust. The last thing he needed right now
was any sort of reminder that what happened last night was for real. Even his
favorite radio morning show seemed determined to remind him of it now!
He was driving home from the police station, where he had just spent the
better part of six hours doing his level best to explain what had happened.
According to him, he had been roused out of bed by the sounds of fighting in
the parking lot, and had rushed to the window to see those two attacking an
innocent bystander. He had called the cops from his apartment, then ran
downstairs to see what he could do about the situation. Yes, he knew that was
an inherently stupid thing to do. Yes, he knew he should have left the whole
matter to the police. And no, he didn't have any idea what the convicts were
yammering about being beaten by "Supergirl". They were obviously bonkers.
Send 'em to the psycho ward.
A simple enough cover story - and yet, it had taken Gary nearly all of
those six hours trying to convince them he was telling the truth. It was
almost like *he* was the one on trial here. Apparently, though, there were
enough holes in his testimony to warrant further investigation. For instance,
when called to corroborate Gary's story, Mr. Caldwell had reported that, about
fifteen minutes before Gary called the police, he'd had to complain to Gary
about too much noise coming from his apartment - and discovering that he
apparently kept half-naked women in the closet! Another tenant had complained
about being woken up by the sounds of some girl wearing "some kind of
ridiculous Halloween costume" parading around outside his window, with some
panicked-looking guy matching Gary's description not far behind her.
It all seemed perfectly choreographed to make Gary's existence as
difficult as possible. And this wasn't even factoring in the keystone element
in all this.
Lina.
Even now, Gary remained unconvinced that this girl was, somehow, Lina
Takashi made manifest. Despite all the evidence to the contrary - the
knowledge about Naomi, the transformation into Sailor Andromeda, the
fully-functional Spirit Gale - he still found himself searching for any sort of
alternative explanation. The fact that he couldn't come up with one didn't
stop him from at least trying...
With a sigh of resignation, he pulled into the parking lot in front of his
building - the site of last night's insanity. With the exception of a residual
police presence to mop up after the events of only a few hours before, it
looked no different than it had before.
he mused as he pushed open the doors to the
building.
Then an idea struck him.
"Yeah, that's *gotta* be it," he said aloud. "Just a dream... that's all
it was after all, a *dream*..."
With that conclusion, Gary suddenly felt a whole lot better. He climbed
the stairs up to his floor, a wide grin plastered on his tired face. It
remained there all the way inside his apartment.
Once inside, he flopped down on the couch, totally exhausted from last
night's ordeal. It was all he could do to keep from falling asleep - but then
again, why fight it? He'd just call in sick to work... lay here all day, watch
a little TV, and just possibly maybe think of a way to get Lina - the FICTIONAL
Lina - out of the jam he'd left her in...
"Hey there," a woman's voice asked. "How'd it go with the police?"
"Don't even ask," Gary muttered. "I thought they'd *never* let... me
out... of there..."
Gary suddenly came to his senses enough to remember that he lived alone.
So who was that he was talking to?
Slowly, reluctantly, Gary turned in the direction of the voice. , his inner voice practically screamed.
Sure enough. Lina was standing in the kitchen, wearing one of Gary's old
shirts and fixing herself a cup of coffee... as if she had always been there,
and always would.
"Welcome home, Gary," she said with a smile.
Gary just sighed and dropped his head to the cushions.
---
End of Episode 101.
Author's Notes:
Lina Takashi predates this story by several months, if not more. She began
life as a simple sketch I made in the margin of my notebook one day during a
particularly boring class lecture. It wasn't a very good drawing by any
stretch of the imagination, but something about her caused me to do a
double-take.
This was no mere drawing... this was a complete character I was looking at
here! There was just something about her body language, and the facial
expression I'd drawn her with, that readily appealed to my creativity, and
almost spelled out her complete personality.
All of that, just in one lousy, spur-of-the-moment sketch.
Given that, one would be a fool NOT to pursue this further.
I started by drawing her several more times, in different poses and different
outfits (eventually, she wore just about everything in my own closet,
custom-tailored to better fit the female form of course). One of those
sketches I liked enough to develop into a full-color drawing, which I scanned
in and shared with my closest IRC friends. It then dawned on me that I had yet
to come up with a name for this character, so I held a "Name That Girl" contest
on my Sailor Moon Cel Gallery website. If the truth be known, however, I had
actually come up with my "winner" a few weeks before the contest actually
ended; after discussion with a longtime friend on IRC, I decided on "Lina
Takashi" as her name. (BTW, thanks, Tammy! 8^) )
Now I had a name, a fairly solid character description, and a visual model.
All that I needed now was a reasonable vehicle for her. I had some fairly
strong criteria for my story idea: Lina was a very special girl, in my eyes,
so I didn't want to do the bog-standard thing of simply slapping a sailor-fuku
on her and turning her loose in the Mooniverse. I vowed that any fanfic
staring *my* character would be something *different*. I kicked around several
strong premises - in one, Lina would NOT have been a Magical Girl, but a
Vigilante Heroine that patterned herself after the Sailor Senshi - but in the
end, nothing really captured my fancy long enough to develop into fruition.
Then it hit me. After being around several fanfic authors on IRC for several
months, I knew that, from time to time, they'd allow their characters to "take
over" for them for a while, and they'd chat with other users as if they, too,
were real people. I always found this a fun way to keep your characters fresh,
and the idea formed in my head: What if one of these characters REALLY DID
come to life? How would she react to the "real" world, and how would the life
of her author be affected by her presence? With that seed, I whipped together
a brief story outline, and "Pretty Soldier Sailor Andromeda" was officially
born.
There's one thing you need to know, however. With "Mercury Switch" and
"Survivor Guilt," my two previous fanfics, I always had a clear-cut vision of
where I wanted the story to go, and how I wanted to get there. PSSA is a
little bit different; I know where I eventually want to end up, but how I'm
going to GET there is still up in the air! I'm really enthused about this
concept, and have lots of ideas I want to incorporate, so better strap in -
it's gonna be a bumpy ride, but in the end, I think it'll be well worth it!
Acknowledgments will be forthcoming in future "episodes". Look for 102 in
about a month's time, hopefully. (Finding time to write fanfics, between
schoolwork and *work* work, is a little bit difficult...)
Lawyers like these next few paragraphs:
Sailor Moon is TM and Copyright (C) 1992 Naoko Tækeuchi / Kodansha / Toei
Animation / Bandai. English Language Adaptation is Copyright (C) 1995, 1997
DIC Productions, L.P., a division of the Walt Disney Corporation. All rights
reserved. Any other trademarks used herein are Copyright (C) their respective
owners. No claim of ownership, expressed or implied, is made or intended in
the use of these trademarked names, characters, and likenesses.
All original characters created for use in this story, as well as the story
itself, are my own creations. Any similarity to actual persons or events is
purely coincidental and should not be inferred.
The fanfic "The Adventures of Sailor Andromeda" is purely fictional. It is not
intended to reflect any known, existing fanfic.
Until next time, mes amis, I remain... 8^)
- Devin "The Kid" de Gruyl
April 1999