How do you know that? Are you psychic? Didn't think so. Next time you make a typo I'll make a point of jumping all over your ass like you're doing mine. Not that it matters in the least. Just improving my post count...

If you don't care about what you're being told, you must be serious about saying, that you're just posting to improve your post count. WHY?

in highschool my bf had a teacher who was terrified of eyes, cuz apparently her husband was a serial killer who would keep ppls eyes in a jar. No one knew anything about it till his wife (the teacher) found it downstairs hidden in the basement, he had been doing it over a course of several years or some shit. when kids found out they would always put fake eyeballs on her desk etc. and she would freak out and shit. true story.

This isn't not funny, or funny. It can be both. It carries the pain of the individual who fucked up severely, and the hilarity of seeing the shocked responses of Catholics running out on Mass in your mind. There's a good, hefty dose of situational irony here, upped further by that bible quote.

What sin did that guy commit...? "Oh, well, he ripped out his eyes and is now blind for life, but.... maybe he'll go to heaven...?" That's pretty funny.

A lot of the humor is in the akwardness of the event. How do you approach something like that?

If you ask me, from both sides(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *that's my 'I made a sex joke, LOL' AAAA.*).

In the story of St. Lucy she did the same, when some guy who had a crush on her wouldn't leave her alone because he loved how pretty her eyes were. She plucked them out and gave them to him so he'd leave her alone.

I gotta love how a lot of artistic representations of her show her, with her eyes on a plate... but she still has eyes.

Brutal story. Hopefully that guy can get the help he needs to get better.