More than nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex, according to a new study. "This is reality-check research," said the study's author, Lawrence Finer. "Premarital sex is normal behavior for the vast majority of Americans, and has been for decades."

Leave it to a Institute Study to bust American's out of their closets and spill our beans. Yes, I am one of the nine out of ten Americans that had a little hanky-panky before marriage. In fact, I believe the one out of every ten Americans are split between the extremely religious and those who nobody would want to have sex with anyway.

My Mom was a virgin bride and deeply feared sex before marriage. Religious issues played a part, but she also was adamant about the fear of getting pregnant and that having sex would ruin her reputation. This fear rang true even back in the '80 when I was a teen. The girls rumored to put out were snickered over and constantly put down. Guys would tell other guys and girls in their circles, "She's so easy she spreads like creamy peanut butter!" or they will tell jokes about a girl selling snack chips by shouting, "Frito Lay!" (Free to Lay)

This mentality in part caused me to make one of the biggest mistakes of my life. That being, getting married at age 18. Hey, I was in love and my sex drive went into overdrive in a few heavy make-out sessions with my older boyfriend. I wanted to have sex. However, I didn't want to be referred to as a margarine spread or Potato Chip saleswoman.

So I got engaged and my parents flipped out. They shouted "You're too young" and "You don't know what love is" and all sorts of crazy things. At the same time my Mother's voice in my head was shouting, "Don't have sex before marriage." How terribly frustrating for an 18 year old kid. We ended up eloping and long story short - ruined 12 years of BOTH of our lives.

About a year after our Divorce I began dating again. Abstinence was not only NOT popular, it was torture. After enjoying a 12 year shopping spree in a candystore my "Mother's voice" was saying I couldn't go in there anymore. I was older and wiser and employed protection against pregnancy and disease. I was also very frugal over who would get the goods or rather as Elaine Bennis would proclaim, "Is he Sponge-worthy?"

In addition I wanted to know what I was buying before I bought it. Dr. Ruth was only stroking men and their egos when she declared that size doesn't matter. It does. There is a huge difference between the motion of the ocean and a splash in a Mr. Turtle Kiddie Swimming Pool.

Sex education that teaches and encourages responsible and moral sexual behaviors can't be wrong. Sex is a beautiful thing shared between two people who are in love. It isn't immoral nor indecent. I'm highly suspicious that the Abstinence Only Supporters like to snorkel in their Walmart Easy Set Backyard Pools vs. burning in hell.

This whole "You MUST get married" and the "You CAN'T get married" thing is ever becoming harder to swallow.

I can so relate to this post. Thanks for posting it. I guess my issue with Sex before marriage, is that it looks like some sort of right of ownership. Sort of like having to get your papers for your new vehicle before driving it home. Last I checked, no one really owns anyone else in this country...or at least they are not supposed to. I agreed with your last statement that sex is an expression of intamacy engaged by two people who love each other...at least I think this is what "Good Sex" should be.

Oh yeah! I wish people would realize that sex education needs to be updated. Sex is going to happen and the sooner people are taught safe sex practices the better it will be. I oldest daughter got pregnant, even though I had talked with her about safe sex. Guess some people just think it wont happen to them.

Abstinance isfind for some but not all. The truth needs to be told. But who will do it, not the parents, not the schools, so who?

I think abstainence should be taught in schools. Let's face it - while some teens can cope with being a parent, most can't. I was 19 when I had my oldest (and married). I "tried before I buyed" (yeah, great grammar I know) and I still bought the wrong one.

I can count the people I've been with on one hand and only one of them...the size mattered. At least the rest knew what they were doing (one still does so I had the good sense to marry him ha!).

I'm a 9 out of 10'er, that's for sure. My mom's views on sex were a bit warped, too. That is pretty much the only thing I rebelled on. It was also pretty much the only thing the ever told me not to do. That and smoke, but smoking is just nasty. too bad I am much better at sex now than when I was in highschool!