Does it feel like your life is going in the wrong direction???

Fear is an insticntive reaction that is a survival mechanism when danger is perceived. The danger may be real or imagined. Fear is probably a helpful (emotion) as long as it isn't escalated and overcomes normal rational judgement.

You know I am going to chime in and say that this is dandy, but some of us are in situations beyond our control. It is said that you cannot control anything except your reaction to something.

But I'd like to see someone have a positive cheerful reaction to going, say, to court where an ex is charging you with contempt on trumped up charges. Or you can't sell a home and start your simplified life because the economy is tanking. Or your employer has it hanging over you that despite your fine job performance your job might not be there in a few months due to seniority issues.

There are some real practicalities in life that just suck. Many of us are awake enough to want to simplify and streamline but are bogged down by the remaining fallout from failed relationships, economic armageddon, family obligations (caring for sick/older relatives).

It's not all about choice. Sometimes you have no choice. And don't tell me "well change how you feel or think about it." Because caring for a sick, elderly person sucks for everyone involved. You feel bad, they feel bad. You can say "oh, turn that frown upside down. You are helping someone. Blah blah blah." But it hurts seeing someone you love in demise day after day.

A few of us have the RIGHT to be upset about how the path of life is going. Honor us as we fight to change our situation by not telling us to buck up, but rather by saying "I feel for you, brother. I hope it gets better soon."

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31735474

If you went to the Doctor tomorrow and were told that you were terminally ill and only had a few months to live, how would that change your perception of these 'problems' that you highlighted? Would they still have the same level of control & influence over your state of being that they do now?

If you had to reconcile with your impending physical depature from this particular lifetime, would you still be consumed by your failed relationship, your issue at work, or your trouble selling your home? Would these issues still be your #1 priority in life as far as where you should be directing your limited conscious energy & attention?

This is not to say that you can just flip a switch and no longer care about these 'problems'. I'm just providing an example for you how your perspective can be radically different when you consider a different context than the one which you are operating with now. When we approach death, we have to let go of these limitations of the physical world that bind us. Letting go of these physical limitations helps open up our awareness to what holds true value & importance. The thing is though, you don't have to be dying or be terminally ill to move in this direction. You can approach this mindset while you are still healthy.

You are right in that we cannot always control our external circumstances - but we absolutely can control how we react and respond to these circumstances. You don't have to view them as threats to the very core of your being. You are not your job title, nor your martial status, nor your living arrangement, nor your physical body when it comes to the larger context of your existence. All of those things are not you, they are only experiences you are enduring through. Try and view these circumstances not as a threat to who you are, but as 'inconveniences' or even 'challenges' that you are experiencing and hopefullly learning from in the process.

Changing how you feel can be a very slow and gradual process, but you can absolutely make significant process if you stay focused. Take it a little bit at a time. You'd be surprised at how modifying your perception can completely change your response/reaction to your situation, even when your external circumstances remain unchanged. I've found the best way to alter your perception is to continually ask yourself questions to challenge yourself on your current feelings and understanding of the nature of 'things' in this lifetime. I'm talking about serious contemplation & introspection here.

I'd say give it a shot because what do you have to lose?

Quoting: ANHEDONIC

If I was told I was terminally ill tomorrow I would be 100% screwed. Not because of my impending death: who cares about that. Who would take care of my mother? Who would help my son who still needs help? I cannot afford decent insurance. My savings have been exhausted due to circumstances beyond my control.

The LAST thing I'd be thinking about and worried about is ME. I don't have that luxury. Maybe people who have money, family to take care of them, friends with the means to help have that. But I don't. If you do, then lucky you. But until you have stood in my shoes don't say that.

What about that beggar dragging along the streets with no arms and not sure if he can make it 2 more days without food. What if a doctor told him he had a terminal illness. He would probably high five the doctor. But he would not be doing that, because poor people don't count. See what I'm saying? I have terrible demons and stresses due to my situation yet I am better off than that beggar. However, he would understand me in that my hands are tied. Not as tightly as his, but tied.

He would understand me and we both are not worried about making the "best of each day" because we are too worried about "surviving each day."

I guess what I'm saying is all this self involvement-"look on the bright side" stuff is a real luxury that some of us could not ever have...given our circumstances. That's real.

If I was told I was terminally ill tomorrow I would be 100% screwed. Not because of my impending death: who cares about that. Who would take care of my mother? Who would help my son who still needs help? I cannot afford decent insurance. My savings have been exhausted due to circumstances beyond my control.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31735474

It is PROVEN by science that whatever happy people do, they do it 30% more effeciently.

So why should you be afraid of who is taking care of your mother? Your fear doesnt help you in any way at all. Your fear wont take care of her.

You have been taught your entire life to react to problems with fear. When on the other side science is showing that fear is the wrong way of handling problems. It slows you down, it deludes you in a moment of importance.

What you are calling a solution is simply not true =) But i really understand how hard it is to really understand that.

The LAST thing I'd be thinking about and worried about is ME. I don't have that luxury. Maybe people who have money, family to take care of them, friends with the means to help have that. But I don't. If you do, then lucky you. But until you have stood in my shoes don't say that.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31735474

Its not about fear against yourself, but about all fear. If its fear against you, or fear in concern of others its all the same.

And how can you know your life is any harder than the rest of us? We are all living in a very chaotic world right now =)

I guess what I'm saying is all this self involvement-"look on the bright side" stuff is a real luxury that some of us could not ever have...given our circumstances. That's real.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31735474

Its not a luxury, its a choice. Watch some of the videos i posted =) Do some research!

If I was told I was terminally ill tomorrow I would be 100% screwed. Not because of my impending death: who cares about that. Who would take care of my mother? Who would help my son who still needs help? I cannot afford decent insurance. My savings have been exhausted due to circumstances beyond my control.

The LAST thing I'd be thinking about and worried about is ME. I don't have that luxury. Maybe people who have money, family to take care of them, friends with the means to help have that. But I don't. If you do, then lucky you. But until you have stood in my shoes don't say that.

What about that beggar dragging along the streets with no arms and not sure if he can make it 2 more days without food. What if a doctor told him he had a terminal illness. He would probably high five the doctor. But he would not be doing that, because poor people don't count. See what I'm saying? I have terrible demons and stresses due to my situation yet I am better off than that beggar. However, he would understand me in that my hands are tied. Not as tightly as his, but tied.

He would understand me and we both are not worried about making the "best of each day" because we are too worried about "surviving each day."

I guess what I'm saying is all this self involvement-"look on the bright side" stuff is a real luxury that some of us could not ever have...given our circumstances. That's real.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31735474

Fair enough, it appears the extent of your circumstances and what you are dealing/coping with could not be adequately relayed in just your initial post. Basic needs (food, shelter) for your physical survival (and those who you directly care for) are of course a necessity for you to carry on in this life.

What did you mean by poor people not counting in relation to that analogy? I wasn't following there.

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"

This is all taken from that Donnie Darko weirdo who said that there are only two "emotions," fear and love.

Well, there are far more than two emotions. Humans are ruled by all of them.

Fear keeps us from dangerous things. Fear has kept us alive. Is it healthy to let it overwhelm you in situations that aren't dangerous? No.

Still, this is a simplification of the truth. Cutting fear out of your life only makes a person reckless.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428411

Its possible that perhaps there is more than one kind of fear. Like the fear of jumping off that cliff (because you know it will kill you, keeping you un-reckless) Or an underlying deep fear of lets say, fear of not being successful or whatever. One is about your immediate situation, the other about a ongoing or future situation.

This is all taken from that Donnie Darko weirdo who said that there are only two "emotions," fear and love.

Well, there are far more than two emotions. Humans are ruled by all of them.

Fear keeps us from dangerous things. Fear has kept us alive. Is it healthy to let it overwhelm you in situations that aren't dangerous? No.

Still, this is a simplification of the truth. Cutting fear out of your life only makes a person reckless.

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 4428411

Its possible that perhaps there is more than one kind of fear. Like the fear of jumping off that cliff (because you know it will kill you, keeping you un-reckless) Or an underlying deep fear of lets say, fear of not being successful or whatever. One is about your immediate situation, the other about a ongoing or future situation.

Quoting: Axslinger

There is also a fear which you have understood. Qonquered fear, fear you know how to react to. Fear that doesnt scare you anymore.

Just that I feel poor people "don't count" in that they don't even get the luxury to go to a doctor and get a terminal diagnosis. Some are poor and must just die from their sicknesses...

It's a sick, sad world.

I am sorry to be a downer in your thread. Obviously I'm not in this place right now. :)

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31735474

What's your perspective on what comes after this physical lifetime?

For me I could not reconcile what transpires in this life or this world without deep introspection & contemplation on what lies beyond this experience. Hypothetically, if I believed this one lifetime of existence was all there was, I would be miserable having this experience in the context in which we do. I guess it goes without saying that your beliefs about the entire scope of your existence (this life and what comes next) play a vital role in shaping your perception of this current experience you are having. For me I could not find physical-based, 'rational' answers to the questions that plagued me about this experience. I had to search beyond that.

Sorry to hear about your family situation. My folks are both deceased (since I was 28) and I don't have any kids. My extended family lives out of state and I don't see them much so it's just me an a 100 lb. german shepherd that I look after. You could look at my circumstances and maybe think that 'I'm lucky' in relation to what you are dealing with but as I'm sure you're aware, it's impossible to know exactly what a person has experienced in this life by judging just their physical circumstances/situation. People endure their own unique forms of pain/suffering/emotional trauma that can't be easily understood on the surface level - but we can relate to one another from having endured through the experience of hurting & pain that we are familiar with. It would be impossible to put a value on the hardship/suffering/pain that different individuals have experienced because everyone's path of life experiences/challenges is unique and no two individuals can share the same conscious experience from any particular set of circumstances.

I hope that you find some relief from that which plagues you and can find a way to perceive your 'challenges' that you face in a less debilitating context/light.

Thanks, it will get better. I have a plan. But many others don't/can't. Having walked this path, I do understand why some people feel so trapped in this life. It's because they are. Some are lucky enough to climb out, but some can't. For them, I feel sadness and great compassion. We could all be beautiful and shine if only the yoke were lifted a tiny bit...

Thanks, it will get better. I have a plan. But many others don't/can't. Having walked this path, I do understand why some people feel so trapped in this life. It's because they are. Some are lucky enough to climb out, but some can't. For them, I feel sadness and great compassion. We could all be beautiful and shine if only the yoke were lifted a tiny bit...

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31735474

Yup... If we created/formed a society where people did not have to live in fear of being able to afford basic necessities like food/shelter, they would be free to allow their true potential to breakthrough, and it would be a much more beautiful existence that we experience here. Imagine what so many individuals in your day to day life would be capable of if so much time & energy was not wasted just trying to 'afford life'. That's a pleasant thought.

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger"

Thanks, it will get better. I have a plan. But many others don't/can't. Having walked this path, I do understand why some people feel so trapped in this life. It's because they are. Some are lucky enough to climb out, but some can't. For them, I feel sadness and great compassion. We could all be beautiful and shine if only the yoke were lifted a tiny bit...

Quoting: Anonymous Coward 31735474

Yup... If we created/formed a society where people did not have to live in fear of being able to afford basic necessities like food/shelter, they would be free to allow their true potential to breakthrough, and it would be a much more beautiful existence that we experience here. Imagine what so many individuals in your day to day life would be capable of if so much time & energy was not wasted just trying to 'afford life'. That's a pleasant thought.

If I was told I was terminally ill tomorrow I would be 100% screwed. Not because of my impending death: who cares about that. Who would take care of my mother? Who would help my son who still needs help? I cannot afford decent insurance. My savings have been exhausted due to circumstances beyond my control.

The LAST thing I'd be thinking about and worried about is ME. I don't have that luxury. Maybe people who have money, family to take care of them, friends with the means to help have that. But I don't. If you do, then lucky you. But until you have stood in my shoes don't say that.

What about that beggar dragging along the streets with no arms and not sure if he can make it 2 more days without food. What if a doctor told him he had a terminal illness. He would probably high five the doctor. But he would not be doing that, because poor people don't count. See what I'm saying? I have terrible demons and stresses due to my situation yet I am better off than that beggar. However, he would understand me in that my hands are tied. Not as tightly as his, but tied.

He would understand me and we both are not worried about making the "best of each day" because we are too worried about "surviving each day."

I guess what I'm saying is all this self involvement-"look on the bright side" stuff is a real luxury that some of us could not ever have...given our circumstances. That's real.

Thank you for your post! The only real response I have seen. The self absorbed you know what's will never, ever think of anyone or anything outside of themselves. Blessings and love to you.

Be filled with joy in the knowing that you are the light and love of the one Infinite Creator.