Draken30000 wrote:Love the summation XD. Just here to say i'm a ditz and forgot to mention that I am in Disney till like next Wednesday, and while I have internet, posting will be difficult. I will try but no promises. Sorry once again.

Waiting for everyone to post is probably a waste. Four out of six, close enough. Let's kick this thing into gear. Hana, tag, you're it

For your second post, you guys should consider getting into trouble. Like, finding the other characters, for instance. The general 'rule' when searching is that it's easy. Say it with me, reality is malleable and just sending the wish of finding someone into the universe is gonna push you together. Unless someone actively doesn't want to be found, you can find them. Just say that you do and you do. You can even decide how you find them. If you litterally bump into them or sneak on them. Just keep in mind hurting them is still a conflict, having the drop on them guarantees nothing. If someone is hiding, you can still try to find them, it's just a conflict.

Indeed! A lots of it, given that I'm a cheater with two characters! But I'll go easy on ya...

I'll be starting a conflict, using the rules already, because this is already feeling like a tense, social mexican-standoff . And it's just occurred to me that posting suggestions for the risks you want your opponent take might be a good idea when you want something specific for them, as I do, so I'll be doing that. These are fully optional, mind, you don't have to use them at all.

Her powers are still a WIP. Jack is another player's character. We talked about it in PM.

Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian

I the merc with a mouth only more badass.

Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

I can't think of anything to add to my CS. I don't want to but, if you won't accept her, I may just have to drop it. v_v

Edit: I did manage to add a little more to her power but I still need more.

Edit: I had a couple friends help me work on her power. Better?

Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian

I the merc with a mouth only more badass.

Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

Nope. As far as I can tell, you didn't edit anything relating to my criticism at all. Your power and the concept of "pure energy" is still super vague and without any clear limitations. All you did was make it more powerful and it had too many uses to begin with. Let me walk you through it:

Belwicket wrote:Power: Whether through protective instinct or pure will

Meaningless sentence. Which one is it? It can't really be both.

Luna can control pure energy

What is pure energy? Never heard of it. From a physics perspective, it's nonsense. You'll have to explain what a word means if you're making them up.

and form it into many shapes

Given that I don't know what "pure energy" is, I have no context to know what "shapes" mean. Shapes as in triangles, squares? As in, turn the energy into matter and shape into stuff? As in types of energy, electricity, heat, so not actual "shapes"?

for any reason, whether it be to teach the curious, kill the heretics or heal her allies.

I don't care about the reasons. I care how your power works, what it can do. Who would these "curious" be to teach in this setting anyway, it's a wildly inappropriate remark. But you mention "heal allies" so I guess your power can heal? Except that doesn't really follow from the "pure energy" concept.

She can also fuse the energy she controls with anything nearby, giving her the appearance of having telekinesis.

What you seem to be trying to say here is that you can input KINETIC energy into things, therefore the telekinesis. Telekinesis is super powerful ability though, presumably "anything" includes human beings. So how can anyone defend against it? You can't just say you have a super power like telekinesis and not detail it's limitations. Plus, you ALREADY have allusions above to other stuff your power can do, healing and... shaping stuff, adding telekinesis to that just makes it doubly overpowered.

This is rare for her to do, though, but she will use it if she needs to scare someone into a retreat.

Still don't care about what your character intends to do with the power, that shit belongs in the personality section. And your power doesn't become less overpowered just because you say your character dislike using it.

With the energy, she can rip through someone's skin and bones to literally tear them to pieces without touching them.

So you can kill anyone at distance. That's super overpowered. Note how hana has a character that can do the same thing with touch.

However, being a more kind-hearted witch, she will always give someone a second chance to accept Gaia before erasing them from her world.

Again, this is about personality, not the power, and it's not a balancing factor.

Being energy, it cannot be seen. It can be felt and the effects can be seen but the energy itself is invisible.

Eh, that depends a lot on the type of energy. A lightning strike is quite visible. Also, this just makes it more overpowered.

She can also use this energy to force someone into a mental battle.

Uhm, mental battles are cool, but this makes even less sense how the power does this. Why does controlling "pure energy" mean you can mind battle people? Also, why do you need mind battle IN ADDITION to all the other stuff you can already do?

If she wins and effectively kills someone's mind, they become her mindless puppets to do with as she pleases.

More powers, for the sake of having more powers. It makes no sense that the power should be able to do this, it doesn't tie in with the character concept, and it just makes her even more powerful.

If she loses, she takes the fight physical and uses their confusion to her advantage to get a couple hard blows in, weakening her opponent.

Here you're just clarifying that even if you lose the first, you're still super strong and over powered.

She can also steal the powers of anyone she's killed physically. This is another extension of her energy. The energy can analyze a person's power when used against her then absorb it from their dead body.

Energy? Analyse? That's not what energy does. By now, it seems like this "pure energy" is basically you making up a term for "this thing I control that can do everything".

Overall, also, your power does none of the three things I require at least one of: It's not tightly linked to the character concept (why can a wiccan do telekinesis? Why can a kind-hearted person mind rape people and take over their bodies? The "pure energy" clearly isn't "natural energy" given it's uses), it's not disturbing or weird (being able to kill people in a bloody manner is not enough to be disturbing, a knife can do the same), and not especially cool or creative (it's basically a mish-mash of powers from other sources, just poorly explained).

Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

Well, if you can't explain it, you can't explain it. It figures, since, frankly, a term that means everything, means nothing at all. Even so, it might still be possible to come up with a proper power description if you state clearly what "pure energy" can and can't do. If what it can do is still "about everything", or a list of twelve things, it's still not acceptable.

Well, the first power she had fit better but GM didn't like it. It fit in well with what I practice. Energy control still fits in with Wicca because it is the intent behind it that is helpful or harmful. It's also the amount of focus.

Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian

I the merc with a mouth only more badass.

Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

Belwicket wrote:Well, the first power she had fit better but GM didn't like it.

If the GM didn't like it, then it didn't fit.

From what Veg was saying up there all you need to do is better explain your powers and then cut out a few aspects to make it less overpowered. You don't have to completely stick to the way a Wicca would perceive energy, you just have to make it fit into the game's setting.

Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.