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Norman, Is That You?

I’m sure you guys are used to me talking about a certain topic and sharing my views, but this post is going to be a little different: I’m going to share something that happened on Friday afternoon at my university.

So, I was chillin’ like a villain (like all the cool kids do) with two of my friends, Stephanie and “Zippy”, when we were approached by some random guy who claimed to be looking for a friend of his. After we tried to point him in the right direction, he did what any person would do after asking directions from a group of complete strangers: He started a full-fledged conversation with us.

It started off with him asking us how long is appropriate to wait to tell someone you love them after you’ve started dating. We tried to answer him but he just kept speaking over us. I was beginning to get annoyed with him already.

Things took a turn for the weird when he turned to Stephanie, placed his hand on her shoulder and proclaimed: “I have an intuition about you!”. He then claimed he could tell us all about her merely from analysing her answers to a few questions he would pose to her (You can read Stephanie’s account of the event here).

As if this wasn’t weird enough, this guy then grabs Stephanie’s hand and claimed that he would read her palm and I’m just sitting there like “Did we just check into the Bates Motel?”. Anyway, while reading her palm, he spoke of her heartline, her headline and said her lifeline was very short and that she shouldn’t walk anywhere that afternoon (and I was sitting there thinking “Yeah, probably because you’re going to follow her and murder her, you weirdo”… but I digress).

I then looked at my palm to see what on Earth he was talking about and he proceeds to look over at me and go “Oh, you have a fat palm”. In my head, I was like “OH HAIL NAW! You did NOT just say that to me!!!” … I was ready to whoop a bitch’s ass, y’all. Luckily for him, calmer heads prevailed and I let him live.

After all this foolishness, he tried to tell me that my peace sign necklace was satanic and that people use the symbol to perform rituals to the dark lord, to which I responded: “Uh yeah, I think the people you know are doing their rituals wrong”. He clearly saw my growing level of annoyance and with a quick “Nice meeting you all”, he disappeared faster than he had appeared.

Look, I pride myself on being different, unconventional, out of the box, etc. but there’s a fine line between being unique and being a crazy-psycho-stalker-with-terrible-fashion-sense.

Let’s hope for all our sakes, he doesn’t read this blog, otherwise I might be saying “Adios” to the world sooner than I had anticipated.