For my mother's 75th birthday, I reached out to 75 friends to ask for one moment when she touched their lives; I'd put them all into a book for her. I thought people would say things like, "When you flew across the country for my wedding," or "How you showed up at my graduation." A few did. But the overwhelming majority of people wrote things like, "The way you say good morning makes me feel like I matter," or "How you shared your sandwich with me."