Troper 1 and Troper 2, I am appalled. What on Earth gave you the impression that it would be acceptable to bring a Hatzegopteryx in here? Even if we pretend that there's the slightest possibility that you didn't know the rule against exotic pets, you don't let it out in the Forum Games section. It has eaten four newbies already! This is seriously, seriously unacceptable, and you are both suspended from the forum until further notice.

As for the rest of you, I can't say I'm surprised that Yack Fest turned out to be a front for a drug cartel, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely disappointed in all of you, and especially you, Juan.

You could be a yeti zombie; I think they have those in plants versus zombies...

You’d probably be a bit yellow, thanks to the decaying nature of being a zombie. So, you’d be a xanthic yeti zombie

And you could live in the WILD! So you'd be a wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

And you can drift from place to place! Making you a vagabond, wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

And you can be really empathetic! Making you a, understanding, vagabond, wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

And you could be really tough and determined! Making you a, tenacious, understanding, vagabond, wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

And you could have a dry wit and be really sarcastic to everyone you meet! Making you a, snarky, tenacious, understanding, vagabond, wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

And you could be deeply spiritual! Making you a righteous, snarky, tenacious, understanding, vagabond, wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

Despite all good aspects, I bet you'd still frighten people because of your appearance! Making you a Notorious, occupied, primeval-loving, quiet, righteous, snarky, tenacious, understanding, vagabond, wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

Still, with people avoiding you, you would have a lot of time to read! Making you a learned, monstrous, notorious, occupied, primeval-loving, quiet, righteous, snarky, tenacious, understanding, vagabond, wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

Heck, you may even be downright cheerful to make up for you imposing size! Making you a jolly, kind, learned, monstrous, notorious, occupied, primeval-loving, quiet, righteous, snarky, tenacious, understanding, vagabond, wild, xanthic yeti zombie!

The life of an abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz will sure be tough, but hopefully it’ll be rewarding.

Justice.

I figured it out.

I'm the main character. Therefore, when it says "The database hates you", it means I, personally, have done something to offend them.

Well, I understand now. I don't know what you're after—perhaps it's the time I statted out your kin the Lag Beasts, enabling fellow intrepid adventurers to slay them and thus, through sympathetic magic, leading to the success of DSL. Or perhaps it's because I started growing cloves of digital garlic.

In any case, it is I you want. Leave my fellow tropers out of this; I will meet you in the night, armed with nothing but a bowie knife. You will have your chance at revenge, if you are not too craven to claim it. Rend me line from line, drink the raw code from my files, bite into my soft ware—if you can.

Ballistics General RefrenceSTOP
Before reading through any of the links below read this article. It is a very solid look at the mechanics of biology and Physics of wounding via gunshot.
Rathcoombe Ballistics and Wounding

A series of simple calculation tables generated for a discussion on a theoretical Planet Side to Space "Shore Battery". 15km/s was used as the low end for all basic projectiles and the base line for most of the comparisons. This chart would apply to any projectile fired in space. Projectile in this case would be things like rail gun rounds, giant rocks, missiles, rockets, or anything comparable.

HEO Table in 10 kms Bands

Base Distance to Target 35,786 km

Speed km/s

Time To Target est. Minutes

Difference from previous velocity band

Difference from 15 km/s Starting Velocity

15

39.7

N/A

N/A

20

29.8

9.9

9.9

30

19.8

10

19.9

40

14.9

4.9

24.8

50

11.92

3

27.78

Common GPS Orbit Table in 10 kms Bands

Base Distance to Target 20,350 km

Speed km/s

Time To Target est. Minutes

Difference from previous velocity band

Difference from 15 k/m s Starting Velocity

15

22.6

N/A

N/A

20

16.9

5.1

5.1

30

11.3

5.6

11.3

40

8.4

2.9

14.2

50

6.7

1.7

15.9

LEO Orbit Table in 10 kms Bands

Base Distance to Target 2,000 km

Speed km/s

Time To Target est. Minutes

Difference from previous velocity band

Difference from 15 k/m s Starting Velocity

15

2.2

N/A

N/A

20

1.6

.6

.6

30

1.1

.5

1.1

40

.83

.27

1.37

50

.66

.17

1.54

The 15 km/s shot at the three bands

General Band at the borders of each band

Time in Minutes to target

HEO 35,786 km

39.7

Common GPS 20,350 km

22.6

LEO 2,000km

2.2

Shots with range bands in in 10K km bands.

Distance in increments of 10K km

Base speed of 15km/s= Time to target in minutes for base comparison

Velocity in increments of 10km/s band starting with 20 km/s = Time to Target in minutes

10K K/M

15 km/s=11.11

20 km/s=8.3

30 km/s=5.5

40 km/s=4.1

50 km/s=3.3

20K K/M

15 km/s=22.22

20 km/s=16.6

30 km/s=11.1

40 km/s=8.3

50 km/s=6.6

30K K/M

15 km/s=33.33

20 km/s=25

30 km/s=16.6

40 km/s=12.5

50 km/s=10

40K K/M

15 km/s=44.44

20 km/s=33.3

30 km/s=22.2

40 km/s=16.6

50 km/s=13.3

50K K/M

15 km/s=55.55

20 km/s=41.6

30 km/s=27.7

40 km/s=20.8

50 km/s=16.6

Stuff

The You Are Green Speech From Boot Camp: MCRD Sandiego

Here your race, color, creed, and religion do no matter. You are all worthless until you prove yourselves. You are no longer "I" you are This Recruit. You only have last names so we can pick your worthless slimy hides from the mass of green. Your are all GREEN, you may be light green or dark green, but you are all GREEN.

Deliberately Mispells the Teufel Part of his name as it is usually taken. Yes I am aware of the nuances of the German language and that Teufel Hunden is technically incorrect but its how the corps has viewed it for a long time and its how we are known.

Was an armorer for the Marines. Armorer=Armored Cages full of hundreds of guns to repair, tweak, and tinker with.:)

Tuefel Humor

Tuefel humor are things I find funny or amusing. Unless stated otherwise I am not the originator of the material

213 Things Skippy Isn't allowed to do in the Army.

The 213 Things….

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I’m supposed to be working.

2. My proper military title is “Specialist Schwarz” not “Princess Anastasia”.

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters.

9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.

10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time.

11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.

12. Not allowed to join any militia.

13. Not allowed to form any militia.

14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.

15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Brass!”

16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”.

17. God may not contradict any of my orders.

18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty.

19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right.

20. Must not taunt the French any more.

21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.

22. Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.

23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack.

24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true.

25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.

26. Never tell a German soldier that “We kicked your ass in World War 2!”

28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).

29. The Irish M Ps are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.

34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I * did* bring enough for everybody.

35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)

36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).

37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.

38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.

39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

40. I do not have super-powers.

41. “Keep on Trucking” is * not* a psychological warfare message.

42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters.

43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.

44. I am not the atheist chaplain.

45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”.

46. I am not authorized to fire officers.

47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.

48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”.

50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.

51. Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations.

52. Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range.

53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is * not* a motivational phrase.

55. An order to “Put Kiwi on my boots” does * not* involve fruit.

56. An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape.

57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”

58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command.

60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command.

61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean “I have been promoted three more times than you”.

62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz.

63. Command decisions do * not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.

207. The Chicken and Rice MRE is * not* a personal lubricant. (Skippy wanted this noted for the record that this is not something he has ever attempted or considered! It was something we heard at dinner on 22 September 2001 and it was just so obscene it had to go here.)

208. Not allowed to play into the deluded fantasies of the civilians who are “hearing conversations” from the NSA, FBI, CIA and KGB due to the microchip the aliens implanted in their brain.

209. An airsickness bag is to be used for airsickness * only* . (Also not a Skippy-ism…this was the same dinner.)

210. Must not make T-shirts up depicting a pig with the writing “Eat Pork or Die” in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.

211. Don’t ask LTC Steele to sign my copy of Blackhawk Down.

212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don’t have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.

213. Do not convince NCO’s that their razorbumps are the result of microscopic parasites.

Now for the groan factor the nom-dictionary... my poor wife she ended up laughing and shaking her head then unleashing PUNishment.
This is Tuefel Made.

"But Tuefel is an Elite Mook. Forget not that I am a former U.S. Marine. I eat razor wire and piss napalm." I salute thee, sir. - The FAN

First I found this page. Then I was like "hey that's awesome". Then I was like "whoa how does he know all this". Then I was like "haha so saving those images". Then I was like "my good sir, I can only aspire to being as awesome as you one day."-Dreadnought

-salute- I'm impressed sir. There really aren't as many tropers who stir up admiration in me as much as you. Sir. :) - Keybreak

You have probably heard this before, but that is an amazing amount of research material. 0_0 Amazingness is known to be distributive, and your own amazingness has been confirmed separately by external observation in the fora, so... myth confirmed? I'm not sure exactly where I was going with that; I should probably reorganise before I publish. - Noaqiyeum

To which Parable responded, "there are 50 shades of grey, to be precise."

Little did Parable know that his most heinous crime was witnessed someone watching quietly.

The initial reaction was obvious.

Action had to be taken soon.

It was clear something had to be done.

So hunters were sent for Parable.

They scoured the world for Parable.

Parable was alerted to the search.

An attempt at drastic action by Parable was made.

It was not enough so Parable in an act of desperation made a shady deal.

But alas Parable was betrayed and forced to seek the final act to escape. He summoned his mighty army.

The Mighty Spartans. They were a force to be reckoned with. For a time they protected Parable from his pursuers.

Sadly the Spartan shields and spears were no match against an A-10 Thunderbolt Air Strike.

His army defeated Parable faced capture at the hands of his enemies.

The appearance of an implacible foe forced Parable to surrender.

His trial was swift and the verdict was stunning.

Parable was elated.

The public response was less enthusiastic.

Many were surprised.

Others Furious.

Soon an angry momb chased Parable.

While valiantly fighting back the mob Parable was suddenly slain by an assassin.

This is how the Parable Zombie Apocalypse started.

How this goes is a story for another day.

After Credits

FFiiiifffffty Ggggrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy!!!!

Trope idea

Help Tuefel with a trope idea.

What I am looking for.

Examples where an elevator used as a set piece for a surprise attack. This can be done anyway as long as it is focused on the elevator. The two chief examples being someone in an elevator is attacked by someone outside the elevator. This can be in the elevator lobby or through the ceiling or walls by surprise. The inverse is someone inside the elevator catches someone outside it by surprise in a surprise attack. This trope can play into other elevator related tropes. Elevators delivering a surprise booby trap would feasibly work as well.

Please PM me with examples.

Summary of the trope idea

The elevator often serves as a convenient method to direct some aspect of a work. Be it an action sequence, romance, or even a drawn out battle the elevator is a useful plot location. Because of the nature of an elevator it easily traps even powerful characters and induces a artificial weakness. It serves as a handy way to eliminate or kill a character and/or NPC's. Heroes and villains alike are vulnerable when inside an elevator as its confines limits options for movement and rarely offers any form of cover or protection from an attack. This makes the elevator an ideal point of ambush often leading to other elevator themed tropes like Elevator Action Sequence. Elevators packed with potential targets often become a mobile room filled with carnage.

It is not limited to action going into the elevator but can have the action coming from the elevator. An elevator door opens and suddenly all hell breaks loose from inside it. This can play into Empty Elevator where an empty elevator arrives and suddenly. Whether or not the elevator is attacked by those outside it something or someone burst from the elevator and surprises the people outside it. Sometimes an inquisitive person investigating what looks like might be an empty elevator gets snatched into the interior or through the roof hatch before they are dispatched.

Another possibility is the elevator is used to deliver a deadly surprise like bomb, grenade, or claymore mine that goes off taking out anyone lurking around elevator and often taking out the elevator as well.

While this is a trope you would more commonly find in Action, adventure, and/or suspense works it can show up in horror/scary works. Often with the monster/creature/<insert bad thing here> attacking people in the elevator through the roof, floor, walls, or door while the elevator is in motion. Sometimes the creatures stop the elevator before attacking with the occupants wondering what those strange sounds are before they are often fatally attacked in their suspended metal coffin. Two other variations are the monster jumping out of the elevator or the monster charging into as soon as the doors open. Sometimes someone will be snatched from inside the elevator through a roof maintenance and access hatch.

This trope is likely to serve as the spring board to other tropes and action sequences. For example the monster ambushes people in the elevator it comes to stop and the survivors run out with monster tearing through the elevator and initiating a chase sequence. Or the ambush doesn't quite work out and leads to an elevator action sequence.

The key part of the trope is the elevator serves as the point of surprise either from or into the elevator.

A specific example of how this trope might work is the elevator scene from the movie The Departed Which can be seen here. The Departed Elevator Scene
Costigan has apprehended Sullivan in front of Trooper Brown and takes Sullivan to the elevator leaving Brown behind. The scene then focuses on those two on their elevator ride down. As soon as the doors open at ground floor Costigan is ambushed and killed with a close range gunshot to the head by Trooper Barrigan. While two other characters are shot in this scene only one is ambushed thanks to the nature of the elevator delivering him to a predictable point allowing him to be shot in the head a second or two after the doors open.
Blurb Example
In movies an elevator can be a dangerous place to be in. Especially if you are any sort of character in an action, horror, thriller, or suspense work. Elevators can be deadly traps, an impromptu prison, mobile battle ground, or even possibly your ride to destiny. However there is another type of hazard from elevators. While they provide a often quick, convenient, and a easy way to rapid traverse vertical distances there are good reasons to avoid an elevator. Any character be they {{Mook}, Red Shirt, Protagnist, Antagonist, or any other character climbing into an elevator is putting their life on the line. The elevator travels a predictable path in the majority of cases one of two directions handily indicated by some mechanism or device, most elevators cannot be seen out of meaning the characters inside cannot see possible threats outside the elevator, and many elevators are relatively small boxes that notably limit options for both cover and freedom of movement.

The very structure of most elevators scream shooting fish in a barrel or come get me I am an easy target. Unless you are on an absurdly large elevator you have little or no room to move and the majority of elevators have no place to hide. This makes them ideal spots to ambush someone while they are in it. Sometimes though the surprise comes from inside the elevator sprung upon those unsuspectingly waiting outside or perhaps Genre SavvyMooks and Red Shirts waiting or looking for the wrong thing only to be in turn surprised from inside or above the elevator.

There is a reason why in a combat situation in real life Military and Law and Enforcement opt to take the stairs instead. Genre Savvy or paranoid characters may avoid the obvious death trap altogether sometimes even opting to leave the would be ambushers with an empty elevator instead.

Elevator Ambushes are usually portrayed in one of two ways. The first way is someone gets into an elevator expecting the elevator ride to go as expected only to suddenly find themselves under attack from someone or something outside the elevator. In action movies it is pretty common for the elevator to be shot up as soon as the doors open just like shooting a fish in a barrel. Sometimes the shooting starts before the doors even opening denying the occupants any chance of being aware of their impending doom and possibly retaliating. In any horror or thriller movie the monster, mad man, or creature may surge through elevator doors as they open, drop in through the roof into the car, pull someone up through the roof, or even attack right through the floor, roof, or walls of the elevator car itself.

The other depiction of the elevator ambush is the surprise coming from inside the elevator being sprung on those waiting outside it. The doors on an elevator open and suddenly there is a character attacking from the supposedly easily controlled space often rapidly plowing through any opposition thanks to their element of surprise. An unlucky Mook or Red Shirt might get yanked into a elevator suddenly if it opens and they go to investigate the lack of a person getting out. Sometimes the parties waiting outside the elevator attack the elevator before the doors open or lay in wait for any to occupant to arrive to their doom to suddenly have the tables turned on them. The character they were planning on ambushing will often burst from the elevator typically from the roof access hatch, a small part of the elevator not able to be seen directly, or even drop from a ceiling cling from above. Monsters, creatures, or other scary critters often surge out of the elevator or launch themselves from the ceiling or access hatch above.

Sometimes it is even possible for someone in the elevator to ambush someone else in it.

Elevator Ambushes are typically short. Those that run for too long lose the element of surprise and turn into other tropes like elevator action sequence.

Particularly clever or Genre Savvy characters may instead choose to leave a surprise in the elevator in their stead like a bomb, claymore mine, grenade sans pin or other unpleasant surprise to deal with their would be ambushers.

Dredd: Shortly after Dredd and Anderson assault up the stairs through the riot gas cloud an elevator is shown ascending. It arrives at a floor with an audible ding and is noticed by by two of Ma-Ma's thugs. One of the thugs goes to investigate the elevator peering into it before being jerked inside followed by the sound of the one the judges guns putting him down. Dredd and Anderson then attack out of the elevator with Dredd shooting the second thug.

The God Father:Victor Stracci and an associate are ambushed in an elevator by Peter Clemenza who uses a shotgun to kill both of them. The doors open and as they are trapped in the elevator they are killed with blasts from from the shotgun.

Die Hard with a Vengeance: While John Mc Clain is riding the elevator with the Mooks down he catches on that they are not who they claim to be. While still in the elevator he distracts them with idle chatter and springs a surprise on them shooting the first guy and launching a Elevator Action Sequence that results in an elevator full of dead Mooks.

On Hermajestys Secret Service: A mook is sitting at a desk when the elevator rings. Noticing no one gets out the Guard Mook walks over to the elevator and question. Bond leaps out shoving the door into the mooks face launching a short brawl with Bond subduing the Mook.

Film/Watchmen: Ozymandias is discussing things with the business men when the elevator dings. The scene has an awkward pause as the surprised people and the faux delivery man stare at each other for a few short seconds. Then the faxu deliveryman drops his delivery and pulls out a pistol and begins shooting before stepping out of the elevator.

In Episode 8 Fierce Battle! Cobra versus Bowie, Cobra has to ascend an elevator to continue pursuing Crystal Bowie. At the top two of Bowie's mooks are waiting outside the elevator. As soon as it arrives they spray the elevator with weapon fire. The doors then open revealing no one is there. As they approach Cobra drops from the ceiling inside the elevator and kills both of them.

Episode 7 "Janes's Revenge!", when Tavege is riding the elevator back down from the Refresh Center Cobra ambushes him outside the elevator with his Psycho Gun splitting both him and his armor in half from crotch to the top of his head.

Armored Trooper VOTOMS: Chirico Cuvie and Fyana are fleeing together in VOTOMS from the plotters. Their pursuers rouse the local arena fighters with a promise of a big bounty. Instead of descending in the elevator Chirico places a directional bomb in it. The elevator doors open and the would be ambushers realize too late what it is. The bomb goes off and wipes out the ambushers and destroys the elevator in the process.

Video Game/FEAR: At one point in the game while wandering around one of buildings an elevator unexpectedly arrives and opens revealing a waiting enemy soldier who attacks the player right off the bat.

Metal Gear Solid: Snake gets onto a cargo elevator scouted out by Otacon. As he is riding it down it is revealed he is caught in ambush by four enemy soldiers wearing stealth camo suits waiting for him to get on. This leads to an Elevator Action Sequence as Snake fights the hidden enemies.

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