This happens to me all the time with my dang animals. They are so animalistic of the music kind. My ears bleed and the neighbor dogs go hog wild.. and then we have this. A dog trying to get an audition for American Idol and I am now $5,000.00 knee deep in expenses for grooming and ball tucking. The procedure to pin back this dogs ear's is worse than Hei […]

Well every time I have think I have seen it all, a hairy bear tells me different. If you told me a bear shits in the woods ONLY I would normally believe you but somehow I think now that Bears shits in toilets and wanted a bidet to get all fresh like the rest of us. This bear waves so frantically at the passer byes and I want to have spa time with this bear. […]

Who hasn't thought about waving around a dead friend partying all night until he turns blue while we all get our drink on while toasting our friend? NOT ME!! Who does this shit? Unless I was on many hits of acid that I saw cola's all through the night and vision of me dancing with this stiff? Hope I didn't make out with this stiff. Less more?I […]

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – RECAP

The Art of War

Maciavellic – of, like, or befitting Big Macs

Maciavellic – being or acting in accordance with the principles of McDonald’s as analyzed in the McDonald’s employee handbook, in which sandwich expediency is placed above morality and the use of craft and deceit to maintain the authority and carry out the policies of a front line manager is described

Maciavellic – characterized by subtle or unscrupulous use of cheese, lettuce, pickles or special sauce in regards to McDonald’s flagship sandwich

One of my greatest joys in life is learning new stuff. If I could be a professional student I would. It pleases me to no end when little mcnuggets of knowledge are scattered around otherwise mindless television. Now that you know this, you can imagine my delight to hear Camille utter the word maciavellic. What what what? What is this new word dancing delicately across my eardrum? I’ve never heard it before, therefore I must look it up. (If you haven’t picked up on this yet, I am the internet’s biggest fan, although Kim Zolciak’s song is trying to ruin it for me.)

The therapist tried and tried but Adrienne refused to talk about the day Taylor went Oklahoma on her ass.

Alas, my curiosity was not to be sated. No matter where I looked, I could not find this word, maciavellic. I was worried that our dear readers might be similarly disappointed and so I defined it myself. That’s how I roll, homeys. Servicy. Camille just really wanted a Big Mac. She’s lovin’ it, especially since Kelsey ain’t lovin’ it back, lately. Amirite?

Oh, wait. She was meaning Kyle was in need of a Big Mac. Close, but no cigar. We quickly find out that Taylor is, in fact, the most Big Mac-cy of all. It wasn’t Kyle starting shit, it was Taylor! How Big Mac-ey of her to plant those sesame seeds and then sit there at the table with nary a word about her role in calling forth the tornado of insecurity. That must have been what she meant when she threated to go all Oklahoma on their asses. Honestly, how did she manage to get through that whole night without Camille ever saying “well that’s what Taylor told me”? I’ve had some drama loving friends and when there have been fights there are, without fail, accusations thrown around at some point in the night about who said what when and where and to whom.

When watching the previews last week, I was a bit surprised that Kyle was so upset about Kim not backing her. It looked like she was blowing it out of proportion but I changed my mind tonight. I don’t think Kim was too kerfuffled to get a word in edgewise. I think she deliberately kept her mouth shut to get a stab back in at Kyle. The remark about Kyle needing to know her place sealed it for me. For what it’s worth, even with everything that happened that night, I seriously doubt Kyle would have let Taylor go Oklahoma on Kim’s ass. She wouldn’t even have let Taylor go Rhode Island on Kim’s ass.

Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump head out the next day to shop for the perfect premiere dresses, which leads one to wonder how Kyle managed to sneak out of the hotel without her sister knowing about it. Lisa Vanderpump perplexes me. Why is she on this show? Don’t get me wrong, I love her eight ways from Sunday, but Bravo doesn’t cast anyone lately unless there is a hot mess of something going on. Perhaps it was a case of realizing how fabulous her name is and giving her an automatic pass. Pssst, Bravo, you might want to think about doing a contest where I could win a day with Lisa Vanderpump. I’d gladly hand over my personal info and browsing history for that kind of prize. For a day with the Atlanta ladies? Not so much.

White people with their native foodstuffs

Hey, that reminds me! Tonight we get to see that Phaedra Parks was right all along. Shame on all of us for doubting her. White people sure do eat canned food, as demonstrated by Russell Armstrong cracking open a can of crescent rolls. I’d say he even took it up a notch. Admit it, none of y’all even considered canned bread until just now, did you? Y’all got caught up in the Spam and Vienna Sausages and green beans and cheese. Oh, snap! Oh, just light tap of the seam on the edge of the counter!

Am I alone in appreciating the diversity that the Beverly Hills franchise has brought to us? Finally, after years of gay friend after gay friend after gay friend, it’s just so refreshing to see a wholesome, not at all inappropriate relationship between a straight man and straight woman who are married to other people. All across the country, little heterosexual boys are finally learning that they, too, can have a close and intimate bond with someone other than their wives. This kind of deep, touching friendship has been sorely underrepresented in today’s media. Nick is showing us all that really brave men can step up to the plate and be there for someone. All. The. Damn. Time.

I bet Kyle will be able to get her one of those kinds of dude friends as soon as she learns not to be such a jealous, petulant child.

You know what else is petulant? Camille making the snide remark about “get to see Kelsey Grammer, oooh” backstage after the show. Ten bucks says this particular talking head segment was filmed not too long after Camille found out about the other woman.

“I guess the best you can hope for in a long relationship is that you married someone who’s decent and nice. There’s been a lot of stuff that was a challenge in our marriage and she’s certainly been through a lot of travail.” Aw, damn Kelsey, you just gave me a sads.

Kim’s decided she’s tired of getting left behind a la Vegas and the bathroom on Broadway so she is willing to get set up by the ladies. Taylor’s head interjects to tell us that, although she really likes and respects Kim, she just doesn’t know of anyone who is good enough for her. I assume that’s what she meant to say but it seems the editing was a bit off in the delivery as it came out sounding more like hell no will I set that dumb bitch up with any of my friends. It’s shocking how those editors manage to keep their jobs year after year with all the mistakes they make.

Adrienne Maloof models the latest in long-distance hiking footwear.

That did suck that she got left behind in the bathroom. Girls don’t do that, do they? Why do they have to do that? Girls should build each other up, empower each other, not tear each other down. We should all listen more to Camille and take her advice. Even though every female on earth has dedicated themselves to tearing Camille down out of jealousy, she’s risen above it and found it in her heart to continue empowering her fellow women. Just this episode we see her empowering Kyle to spend more time with her hubs by making a unilateral decision to pull the Grammer real estate business out from under Mauricio. That is so nice! Let’s all make a pact to try to be more like Camille this week. If we all work together, I bet we can turn this country around. Nick will drive.

The Art of War my ass. She had an old copy of Highlights magazine tucked inside that book.

17 Responses to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – RECAP”

Pixiesaid

Hilarious! Thanks for the recrap!
Camille is beyond! She looked like she was ready to orgasm when telling Nick how she & Kelsey were going to get rid of Mauricio as their real-a-tor. Bet that’s the last joint decision they made together. Major points against Nick for encouraging this repugnant human to continue spewing it’s venom.

BobLHeadsaid

BobLHeadsaid

I have been so behind in my viewing lately….had a big ole hair and waxing crowd at my house last night (don’t ask), so I couldn’t even get NEAR my TV. Everyone is leaving town this weekend, except me…so I’m going to curl up with some soup, vodka, kleenex and the remote!

Danisaid

Afternoon all. I missed most of HW last night. Work sucked yesterday. Anywho, did see that scene w/Camille and Nick. This chick is beyond belief at this point. There is no way you are going to convince me that those 2 aren’t hooking up.

http://www.deremilitari.org/resources/articles/colish.htm · Cached page
Off to work early today..One week they hate you..the next it’s OMG WE NEED DIVA…..
Asshat teenagers…..driving me crazy one day at a time..
Fell aslepp during the 1 a.m. reeun of HW’S…will have to catch in later this weekend???
Hugs and Peace

LWoosaid

Crap, I didn’t watch last night! I DVR’d it though; watching it tonight. I have to be honest: I’m only watching to see the interaction between Camille & Kelsey. (I bet Camille wouldn’t be happy to know that many people watch to see a glimpse of Kelsey…not her!)

LWoosaid

Dani- I agree! I mean, come on! They’re obviously screwing, or HAVE screwed, or are about to screw, or….well…they ARE screwing!

Stevie Wonder can see that they’re having ‘relations!’ Geez! If I were his wife, I’d question his friendship with Camille. She just doesn’t seem like the type to be regular friends with a guy. You could tell when they were in Vegas and she was talking about her boobs. The other wives just looked at her like “Whaaaa…??” That’s completely inappropriate behavior in front of other women’s husbands!

dreemzsaid

Great recap!
Re: Camille She is friend to no woman. She was so sinister sitting there talking about Kyle’s husband and his realtor status. While I know Kyle’s husband won’t be ruined by Camille’s whims, (at least I don’t THINK so), she certainly is going for the jugular. I find it hard to believe she has any real friends, I imagine people stay as far away from her as possible. If they didn’t before this show aired they will now! Lol

The only thing “Nick” could possibly be getting from this, besides the obvious, is $$$. Of course he had to realize his ‘scenes’ with her were goin to be nationally broadcast…didn’t he? I feel for his wife, who about now is seeing exactly what was transpiring right under her nose. Who knows what they were telling her at the time…probably that she was “paranoid” and “insecure” “crazy”. I couldn’t help but notice, Camille made sure the camera caught that sizzling look she gave Nick as he was leaving her house. Poor Mrs. Nick & Nick’ baby. Camille is an ass. What a bunch of bull shit she was spouting about women should support each other or whatever. She is a frickn snake, run..Run!

LWoosaid

So, I finally watched it Friday. Um…Nick….again? Just so happens to be in New York? WTF??! Another thing: Kim said at the lunch table (after all of the drama) that Kyle didn’t say that. My thing is, Kyle still found time and energy to berate her sister in front of everyone; I don’t think I would’ve taken up for her either.

But she did admit it. So is Taylor going to tell Camille….or Lisa? Hmm…

Hey.. I just watched a rerun today of this episode and I think I have an idea why Kim didnt stick up for Kyle.

When they were at the lunch and Kyle was brooding, Kyle said that why support me now you could of done it last night, and Kim said.. “Well you did say why would you go to Hawaii without Kelsy” and Kyle cut her off. Kim then said something like, but you have to stop pointing your finger all the time and I wasnt sure what she meant.

Well this are my observations. Kyle did not like Camille from the beginning and made it clear in her one on one interviews alluding to alot about Camille. The other woman would have wide eyes at some of Camille’s antic and attention grabbing scenes, but they are a little more close to their vests with scathing commentary.

Kyle has no problem saying what she feels when no one is around and I am wondering what has Kyle said to Kim in private and maybe she threw a back handed dig to Camille that alluded to what Camille THINKS she said.

I would agree Camille INTERPRETED her POV, but I do think Kyle intended to make a cryptic inquiry and she is not owning it. Kim attempt at an explanation to her sister was cut off and I think if she let Kim finish her thought, we may of understood better.

No dont think for a moment that I am a fan of Camille, and I truly think Camille had taken an interpretaion of Kyle’s comment, but I do think Camille certainly did see something more in what Kyle was saying…

Thats my story and I’m sticking to it..

Look at this bonus footage of Kyle talking about an incident with her “help” and the moral to the story was how Kim was too immature to take care of her self and Kyle acts as the big sister. Who talks about a family member like that and referes to them like a dog..