MOST DEFINITELY THE WORST HARDCORE / METALCORE / GRINDCORE BLOGSPOT ON THE NET

HTTP://WWW.DEADONTHEDANCEFLOOR.COM

HTTP://DEADONTHEDANCEFLOOR.BLOGSPOT.COM

VOTE WEBMASTER FOR PRESIDENT 2012 (SO THAT FILTHY HALF-BREEF NEGROID HAS NO CHANCE OF RUNNING THE SECOND TERM ONLY TO RISK HIMSELF FROM BEING TORCHED ON A BURNING KKKROSS)!

THE TRANSCENDANCE TO A PINK LAYOUT IS THE FINAL MANIFESTATION OF MY EXTREME HOMOSEXUALITY I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO REPRESS ENTIRELY THROUGHOUT MY MISERABLY CONFUSED LIFE! I CAN'T HIDE THIS MY BLATANT HORMONES ANY LONGER! PLEASE FUCK ME WITH YOUR AIDS STICK YOU HOLY FUCKING FAGGOTS?

DISCLAIMER: IN ORDER TO FIT IN WITH EVERY OTHER HALF-ASSED LAW-ABIDING PUSSY-ASS ALBUM BLOGS OUT ON THE NET, I WILL HAVE TO REMIND ALL YOU PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENICS THAT I DO NOT HOST ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE BUT MERELY REDIRECT YOU TO LINKS OF RIPPED ALBUMS THAT SOMEHOW MIRACULOUSLY PRE-EXISTED ON THE INTERNET DUE TO STRANGE FORCES OF NATURE. PIRATE THESE ALBUMS AT YOUR OWN CONSEQUENTIAL RISKS YOU FUCKING COWARDLY METALHEAD FAGGOTS.

(BOOKMARK THIS SITE SO YOUR OBESELY UNEMPLOYED MOTHER REALIZES THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE BEEN JERKING OFF TO WITH HER INTERNET BILLS)

OH MY FUCKING GOD NOT ANOTHER JESUS MOLESTING CHRISTIAN HARDCORE BAND! SOMEONE TELL THIS NIGGER FRONTMAN THAT GOD LOATHES ALL HUMAN SPECIES THAT AREN'T EUROPEAN, WHITE AND ANGLOSAXON. SORRY YOU FILTHY TURD MONKEY! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T CHOP OFF YOUR FILTHY DREADS, YOU'D BE MORE OF A CAUCASIANIZED HIPPIE THAN A BROWN MAN WITH AN ENORMOUS AFRO THE SIZE OF A FUCKING BRAIN TUMOUR! HAHAHAHAHAHA WHY ARE ALL THE BIRDS STILL ON THE VERGE OF EXTINCTION WHEN WE HAVE THE PERFECT NESTING HABITAT FOR THEM TO HIBERNATE FOR THE WINTER?! BESIDES, KNOWING THE AFRICAN-AMERICANS AND HOW THEY BIOLOGICALLY FUNCTION, THEY CAN EXERCISE THEIR NEED TO COMMIT CRIMES BY ROBBING THE NEST OF ALL EGGIES AND FEED THEIR NUCLEAR FAMILY OF EIGHTEEN CRIMINAL MEMBERS!FUCKING BREEDING RATS.

I'M NOT RACIST, I'M JUST A DEVOTED REPUBLICAN. AND YES, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE I SWEAR TO GOD, AS I TYPE IN THIS OUTSKIRT FARM IN KANSAS. I HAVE NEVER MET A BLACK PERSON IN MY LIFE BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF ONE EVER APPEAR IN MY AGRICULTURAL TERRITORY I'LL HUNT IT DOWN WITH A SHOTGUN SO FAST HE'LL BE DOWN ON THE GROUND BEFORE HE CAN SAYNIGGA WUT!!!

I'M SO MUCH MORE REDNECK THAN A FUCKING RAPED PROM QUEEN WITH A SLIT THROAT TRAVELLING ALONE AT 2:30 AM AT NIGHT.I MEAN I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO USE A KNIFE, I JUST GAVE HER SO MANY HICKIES THAT I ENDED UP SEVERING HER FUCKING NECK IN HALF. THEN I PAID A TRIBUTE TO SLIPKNOT BY FUCKING HER SLICED NECK WOUND. YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY I GOT PIECES OF A DEAD CORPSE IN MY TUMMY!

ANYWAYS, SEEING HOW FUCKING RELIGIOUS THIS BAND IS, I MANAGED TO GATHER 101 RULES OF BEING CHRISTIAN HARDCORE... LOW AND BEHOLD, HERE IT IS, PRESENTED TO YOU BEFORE ETERNALLY BANISHED FROM THE NET OF BLASPHEMY!! SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING DICK THAT YOU'VE CREATED GOD.

1. One word Zao.
2. Two words Living Sacrifice.
3. If a band uses any kind of profanity ever under any circumstances they are not a "Christian band".
4. Unless its Zao, cuz then you are just talking trash with your hands.
5. You cried when Living Sacrifice broke up.
6. You rejoiced when Living Sacrifice reunited after only 5 years.
7. You tell your friends that you love technical death metal like As I Lay Dying.
8. Killswitch Engage is NOT a Christian band(see rule 3)
9. Breakdowns rule you.
10. You cried when Josh left Norma Jean
11. You cried when Josh started The Chariot
12. All of your albums must be released by Solid State, Facedown, or Blood and Ink, no exceptions.
13. Claim you supported Underoath back when they were black metal.
14. Constantly complain about how Emo is ruining metalcore.
15. Listen to some Blessthefall to make yourself feel better.
16. Destroy the Runner sounds nothing like As I Lay Dying.
17. Never listen to End of Destiny, they are the poor mans Underoath.
18. Never refer to your favorite bands as metalcore, always use words like thrash, death metal, and grindcore.
19. When listening to real thrash, death, and grindcore bands be sure to ask why they dont play breakdowns like real metal bands.
20. Always tell people you listen to death metal.
21. Remember your hair cannot and will not have a consistent part.
22. Never under any cirucmstances listen to Emo.
23. Go listen to some Underoath and Emery
24. Shout at the bands between songs they love it.
25. OMG! Oh, Sleeper!
26. Describe all traditional thrash and death metal as boring and uninspired.
27. Then pop in some Destroy The Runner to cleanse your ears.
28. You refuse to aknowledge that Hopesfall put out anything after No Wings to Speak Of.
29. Tell people you hate black metal because of the bad production.
30. Then promptly pop in The Chariot and kick back.
31. Put away that Killswtich Engage Record! Now! Drop it! Step back!
32. Adam D from Killswitch Engage must produce your album.
33. You cannot listen to any non Christian metalcore, unless its The Agony Scene.
34. Tell everyone that Haste the Day died after Jimmy Ryan left.
35. The Famine is not just Embodyment with deeper vocals, unless you think it is.
36. Refer to anything you dont like as "meh"
37. Constantly complain that Solid State's roster is going downhill.
38. Go to Best Buy every Tuesday to get the latest Solid State releases for only $9.99!
39. Remember that if youre a new band and this is your first album you must always be heavier and more hardcore than all the other bands on the label.
40. If other bands use fists, you use knives
41. If other bands use knives, you use guns
42. If other bands use guns, you use guns that shoot chainsaws!
43. If you dont feel like spelling your bands name over again, just use upper and lower case Xx, people will know what you mean.
44. A standard graphics toolbox for t shirts and websites include pictures of flowers, girls crying, and floating hearts.
45. If you are actually heavy, throw in a butcher knife or chainsaw for good measure.
46. If being metalcore doesnt work out for you, go southern rock.
47. Call yourself Kentucky Fried Hardcore, especially if youre from Maine or California.
48. Only be from the United States.
49. ZOMG! Oh, Sleeper!
50. If you dont have a job make sure to blog surf for free album downloads!
51. Constantly complain that other people arent supporting the scene.
52. Constantly complain that bands never come to your home town.(Make sure to be from a major city)
53. Constantly complain about people who constantly complain.
54. Tell everyone how youve been into metal since you were in school, especially if your still in school.
55. Secretly you wish that your favorite bands would sign to a bigger label and add some more singing.
56. Tell everyone how awesome the new Demon Hunter is.
57. 4 weeks after the ablum hits stores simply tell everyone how "meh" it is.
58. You refer to bands like Living Sacrifice, BTA, and Demon Hunter as "real metal"
59. Demon Hunter is wicca!
60. You have a Demon Hunter Tattoo(its on their website I can prove it)
61. Constantly tell people that Cory from Norma Jean is better than Josh, but listen to Redeemer and Oh God The Aftermath exactly never.
62. Light Blue Collar is the only Luti Kriss song you like.
63. Always refer to Luti Kriss as Norma Jean just to confuse people.
64. Remember when writing breakdowns you are trying to meet a quota.
65. You swear With Blood Comes Cleansing must be getting a bonus check for every breakdown.
66. You cant figure out why you like pig squeals, you just do.
67. Anybody who doesnt like them must not be into real metal.
68. Tell everyone you love brutal death metal bands like With Blood Comes Cleansing.
69. You remember when Job for a Cowboy was Christian.
70. Claim you can understand every word Brook Reeves(Impending Doom) is saying without even trying.
71. You remember Oh, Sleeper! day 2008.
72. Sign up for an underground messageboard and post a topic about As I Lay Dying(IE ZOMG AILD PWNS YOU!)
73. Never under any circumstances use the search feature on any messageboard, ever!
74. Every time you post on the Centurion Outpost messageboard your text gets turned pink.
75. Constantly make fun of Nu metal bands while touting Demon Hunter as "teh best band ever!"
76. Make sure that nobody notices your Mae and Copeland albums in your messenger bag.
77. Jessie Smith is a jerk head face man!(See rule 3)
78. You loved Jessie until the Zao DVD was released.
79. You still loved Zao after the Fear DVD(see rule 4)
80. Your cover artwork and album layout must be only made by Dave Quiggle or Asterick Studios.
81. Tell everyone how you used to be into Satanic metal bands like Slipknot and Korn.
82. Firestream.net is your favorite messageboard ever x50!
83. Always make fun of Unblack! No exceptions.
84. Movie clips are a must, nothing proves the point of your lyrics better than something completely unrelated and taken out of context.
85. You actually own the Norma Jean BBQ Sauce.
86. You admit that Advent just makes you wanna listen to Beloved.
87. Someday in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that the world revolves around, thousands of people will be shocked and perplexed to find out that it wasnt them, sometimes this includes me.
88. Make sure that your track titles are not related to the song in any possible way.
89. Tell people in interviews that each title is deeply related to the lyrics.
90. Make sure to never post your lyrics.
91. In interviews, make sure to never answer questions but to look really distracted.
92. Claim that Jordan Mancino is the fastest drummer on earth.
93. Listen only to the first two Nodes of Ranvier albums.
94. Also in interviews make sure to never have an opinion about anything, sit there for long awkward stretches of time and then simply answer "I kind of like a little of everything"
95. Secretly you pray every day that Between the Buried and Me would be a Christian band.
96. Apply rule #95 to Converge as well.
97. Claim you only like that one Showbread album(be as vague as possible as nobody will guess you love all of them)
98. Always refer to Dan Weyandt's vocals as Black Metal screaming.
99. Get up in arms about the maker of this list being closed minded.
100.One day you will find and kill those invisible ninjas
101.Wear the smallest shorts possible at Cornerstone, hot weather, dust, and puke. Welcome to God's Country

3 comments:

Anonymous
said...

For Today goes out and does what they do, and they do it well. You don't agree with their music, cool. You don't agree with their preaching, cool. In the end, they don't give two shits about YOU, this blog, nor your belligerent antics. "Hey, look at me, I can make fun of things, swear a lot, and be awkwardly sexual which makes me awesome!" I can tell you this sir, you are not awesome. This blog ridicules you and any decent form of knowledge you may have. You will probably follow that remark with a "but I don't care" etc, etc. Which proves your immaturity and terrible attempts and stabs at "humor" are a way you waste your time and anybody else's time who decides to look at this blog. I know the dudes in For Today personally, and if you ever met them they would own you with kindness. Now, I know once again you'll say "but I don't care" but you are only hurting yourself, and taking away from yourself the chance to have a good heart.

For Today BlowsReligion should be kept out of musicthey play metal shows with winds of plague.i doubt many winds of plague fans are into jesusand stop being a fag up there,im sure they are great dudes, just the whole preaching thing is a waste of fucking time, people go to shows to dance,and listen to music and have a good timeif they wanted someone to preach to them, they would go to chuch.

i'd be more than happy to debate this left and right, but you might physically be too incompatent and therefore infuriating me in turn forcing my hand to leave the conversation early.

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they say i'm demented. i'm only forty-two but the doctors say my brain is riddled with plaques and tangles, and that it may be Alzheimer's. i suffered two strokes before my fortieth birthday. they diagnosed me with dementia because i kept forgetting who i was and i kept using turn signals in a turn lane, something only a profoundly demented octogenarian would do. but hardcore is what i do remember. i remember the rush, the excitement of standing motionless with my arms crossed, staring at the stage as tattooed chimps howl about unity over percussive cacophonous noise. i just want to thank hardcore for giving me something to remember.

ROFL: GRADE A+ FAGGOT

WHEN OBAMAXOMEGA IS ELECTED FOR ANOTHER TERM HE PROMISES TO DELIVER FURIOUS REIGN OF TERROR ON HIS SOPHOMORE ALBUM AND MAKE AGGRESSIVE CHANGES TO THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.

VERY FRIENDLY CHAT FOR UNFRIENDLY ASSHOLES

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SEND HATE MAILS TO DEADONTHEDANCEFLOOR@MAILINATOR.COM TO BE IMMEDIATELY FEATURED IN THE HATEMAIL LIBRARY ABOVE LIKE THE MONSTROUS FAGGOT YOU ARE! FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!(THAT YOU'LL BE FEATURED, OF COURSE... BE ADVISED THAT YOU BE A FAGGOT FOR LIFE.)