Gentleman’s best friend

We here at The Gentleman have talked a lot about the company that a gentleman should keep, but we have unfortunately neglected the canine component to this most complex of equations. Since the dawn of time (when the wrist watch was invented) gentlemen and dogs have gone together like lord and peasant, both sharing the simplest of companionships that want for nothing, except a hearty steak at the end of the day (for both parties concerned).

Dogs really are a gentleman's best friend. Unfortunately they can't stop you from purchasing a terrible pair of glasses.

Dogs were invented by gentlemen many trillions of years ago for two main reasons, firstly to fetch a gentlman’s sticks for him and also to complete the fireplace setting, whereby a dog may lay down on the rug in front of the gentleman’s feet whilst he finished off another Scotch and leather bound novel.

Cary Grant went one step further and tried to teach his dog to read books by the fireplace too. He was such a good teacher his dog went on to pen several novels under the pseudonym Dan Brown.

This symbiotic relationship has lasted millennia and has benefitted the bachelor lifestyle as well as the family home.

The reason dogs have been such good companions to gentlemen is because they don’t smoke all your cigars, drink all your Scotch and elope with your cousins like many a lowly grifter might.

Winston Churchill takes a rest from his stroll to enjoy a delicious cigar. His dog was called Robusto.

Dogs can also be good to get the gentleman out of the house once in a while. Due to dogs being ferocious, wild animals, they need to go for “walkies” in which they might smell things and make love to a stranger’s leg. This is the perfect opportunity to go to the local gardens and smoke a pipe in the shade of a tree whilst you write correspondence to your travelling gentleman friends.

Frank Sinatra liked to play cards with his dog due to the fact that the dog didn't have any sleeve with which to conceal cards. Frank still lost but at least it was honest.

Dogs can also be used in the courting of the fairer sex. For a very masculine gentleman it is unwise to get a masculine dog (a common mistake), instead you should get a dog to counterweigh your image. This way a lady will be able to see your softer side by showing that you can care for a creature without it perishing horribly within a week.

Sean Connery counters his immense masculinity with his small, fluffy dog. Unfortunately for him he has been married for 36 years and has had to have a dog with him the whole time (pictured)

So if you are a bachelor or a married gentleman, invest in a friend you can count on to wake you up early, demanding food and a belly rub. And if you don’t like dogs get a cat I guess. And if you don’t like cats, do what Salvidor Dali did.