Tuesday, 27 January 2015

I'm Yolandie

I started this blog almost four years ago while doing a makeup course. At the time, I was just recovering from a really bad time in my life and makeup was just the creative outlet I needed. Full of hope and belief that makeup would heal my heart, I started to blog about it. And today I can safely say that that small step has brought me lightyears forward.

On my journey, I've learnt a lot. About myself, about others and about life. I've changed both physically and spiritually, but, like a caterpillar, I'm not done changing yet. Maybe that is supposed to frighten me, but I find it pretty inspiring. Because even if I don't like some things about myself, I still have the opportunity to change them. And that's an amazing chance to have.

Today I want you to meet me. The new, but still growing me. So let me introduce myself.

I'm Yolandie. (you-lun-dee)
* I'm a woman. With this comes the need for constant chatter, obscene amounts of beautifying, and an incredible desire for cuddling and feeling loved. But even if I just listed the stereotypical points of womanhood, I'm not a stereotype at all. There's just too much to me to simply fall into a mould.

* I'm a wife. An incredibly blessed one, I might add. This is my seventh year of being married, but it doesn't feel that long (while feeling longer at the same time). Being with your soulmate and best friend every day is more spectacular and fulfilling than you can imagine. I never thought I could love a person as much as I love my hubby. But he makes it easy, so I do. The knowledge that I've got the perfect person to grow into old age with makes the journey to that point so much more rewarding. Because no matter what, he's got my back and I have his.

* I'm a mother. Wow. Just typing it gives me chills down my spine. What a responsibility! But what an incredible, overwhelmingly fantastic joy it is! Above I said I could never imagine loving someone this much. That goes doubly here. My daughter brought out a love in me I never dreamed I could feel, but I do. And it's not more than I love my hubby, it's equally deep and meaningful, just in a different way. Watching her grow and learn (something new every single day), has been a blessing. I can't wait to see what she comes up with next. :)

* I'm a writer. The sound of my fingers tapping the keyboard keys brings a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment that I never dreamed of. This, THIS, is what I am supposed to be doing. This word-smithing thing, that makes people smile and laugh and cry and feel. Heck, it makes ME smile and laugh and cry and feel. It's spectacular! It's a calling, I think.

* I'm loud and slightly crazy. I'm the one at the table laughing, gesturing and talking in the loudest, most passionate way. I've feared in my life that people would be ashamed of this fact, but strangely, they aren't. Or they just don't tell me. :D

* I'm a dreamer and an optimist. During the course of my life, I've always been busy with some half-baked, hair-brained scheme. This has included making steampunk jewellery, doing nails, making bath products, learning to sew, sculpting, movie making, writing books, doing videos on YouTube, selling an array of things, drawing a webcomic etc. I don't live in reality, where things aren't possible. I believe that anything can be done with the help of the right people, and I always have. Sometimes, this belief has backfired on me, but other times, it's paid off ENORMOUSLY. For example, did you know I'm a published author? Because of this aspect of my personality, I try to always say things that will encourage, inspire and 'build' other people. I'll never tell someone to let go of their dreams, or that something is too big for them to attempt. Instead, I always say, "Good idea, how can I help?"

* I'm a social creature and an extrovert. I need people. Maybe this is worsened due to the fact that I spend my weekdays cooped up at home with no more conversation than a one year old (which is fabulous conversation in its own right). But I'll talk to anyone who will listen; from the person working at the grocery store, to my fellow makeup-buyer at the Inglot counter, to the lady behind me in the que for the loo.

* I'm dramatic. I simply can't tell a story without doing wild gestures, different voices and sometimes terrible accents. I'm not wired that way. :P

* I'm emotional. Maybe the better way to put this would be to say that I get too attached too quickly. I cry a lot. Over movies and series and commercials. Over YouTube videos and blog posts. Over people that don't exist outside of the pages of novels. Over the way people react. I cry when I'm extremely happy just as easily as when I'm sad. I mean, I really cried when Liani gave birth (I wasn't even there!!) and when Rita got engaged (not there either!!)!

* I'm a mother-hen. I don't know if people in the rest of the world use this metaphor, but here in South Africa it means that someone has a mothering type of personality. I'm that person. I like to keep people fed and happy. :) I'm that friend who requires a message from you to know if you got home safely (but often forgets to send the same message myself). I'll ask you a million times if you need a refill on your drink, something more to eat (or if you enjoyed the meal), something warm or medication for your (insert ailment here). I honestly can't help it.

* I'm messy. I'm pretty religious about cleaning my house once a week (on Thursdays or Fridays), because if I don't force myself to do it, it won't get done. I'm messy in every other aspect of my life too. My makeup and hair are never perfect. My outfits don't always look put together, because they very rarely are. Toys litter my livingroom floor and there's a lot of clutter everywhere else in my home. But in spite of the disarray, everyone always knows their welcome here in my mess. I'd rather spend two more minutes with my husband or daughter than spend my time cleaning.

* I try to keep everyone I meet happy / help everyone. This is a difficult one that has often been at the cost of my own peace of mind. Sometimes, helping people means tough love. I know that. But administering the tough love is very difficult to me. Also, keeping others happy has hurt me many times. I try so hard to conform to the standards other people set for themselves or for me, that I end up forgetting who I am a lot of the time. (It doesn't help that I'm self-critical!) I need to learn where to draw the line here.

* I'm impulsive. Need someone to buy your incredible new product or wonderful new way of thinking (AKA scam) that will change my life forever? Yeah, I'll buy it. Which is another reason I'm so happily married. Jan is very level-headed and steady. He uses the thinker in his skull, which keeps me out of trouble more than I'd like to admit.

* I'm so much more than I've listed here...

* I'm growing, you know? Today I know stuff that I didn't yesterday. Tomorrow I'll have learnt something new again, and that's fine. No, it's more than fine. It's BRILLIANT. Because growing as a person is a gift we've been given. It means that we have new goals to strive for. It means we have a new day to learn things. It means we're alive. And I love it.

Now I want to challenge you. Go introduce yourself on your blog / social media (all of my blogger friends, this means YOU!). Introduce yourself here, in the comments, if you want. But own up to who and what you are, and be proud of it. You're special, one-of-a-kind and FABULOUS!