Body Image & Self-Love (part 1)

November 21, 2019/

Bodies, man. What a wildly diverse and broad topic, huh? So many variables and differences among us all, yet so many vast similarities as well. This is a subject that I am so passionate about and one that I tend to get pretty fired up about if it comes up. Like my phlexT motto goes: MOTIVATION, INSPIRATION, CONFIDENCE. Key factors in life that I am determined to share with as many people as I can.

So where do we begin, you may be asking yourself? When talking about something as touchy as “body positivity”, it feels a bit like a fragile subject at times. Not wanting to publicly speak up about such a taboo situation, or risk saying the wrong things… Which is EXACTLY why I think we need to bring more light to it all! I’m going to be honest with you (per usual), I am a very blunt person most of the time, and quite frankly, I’m sick and tired of this. I am so disgusted at what our society has become and what the latest “social norms” have done to our mind sets!

For example, earlier this week, I was wearing a pair of my favorite jeans–the ones that have stretch, hug you in all the right places, versatile, the perfect shade of blue…I’m sure you have a pair too right? Well I sat down on the floor, and RRRIIIIPPPP went the leg! A gaping hole right in my thigh. (So long, pants. You will be dearly missed.) The point of this story is the way I felt in that moment… As soon as it happened, my mind INSTANTLY went to self-hate. Scolding myself for “gaining weight”, “letting myself go”, “not staying in shape”, etc etc etc. A piece of old, well loved clothing, tore (like normal!) and what did I do? SHAME MYSELF FOR IT!

Let me just tell you…I was heartbroken. Over the pants? No. I can go buy new ones. But over my internal commentary. The fact that we are so deeply programmed to hate our bodies and involuntarily blame ourselves is devastating to me… What has happened to SELF LOVE and CARING about ourselves–both inside and out!?

Another recent example that comes to mind is stretch marks. I have never had stretch marks before. My sisters both do and I have always found them so interesting and absolutely beautiful! But, the other day, I was getting dressed after a shower and noticed several new stretch marks on my body. Again, my gut instinct was to degrade myself for “letting this happen”, “not caring about myself enough”, “maybe if I ate more greens or exercised more”, blah blah blah. (Do any of these comments sound familiar?) It hurts. Man it hurts to feel that way about yourself. Your body. Your home. How do we let anyone treat us this way, let alone our own minds!?

Lord knows I could sit here for HOURS and write about this. I feel like I have so damn much to say, I’m just word-vomiting all over the place… But trust me, there’s a purpose for it all! I know that if I’m feeling these things on a regular basis, I can’t be the only one. I even took some polls over on my social media this week, just trying to gauge a little bit of what YOU were feeling. (I’ll insert photos here.)

The responses blew me away… Thank you to every single one of you that took the time to vote and share your stories with me! I was expecting maybeee a handful of replies, but my heart was overwhelmed when I saw the responses pouring in! Several of you even personally messaging me to let me in on a little piece of your life. Brought actual tears to my eyes talking to you and seeing how much this means to so many of us. We are NOT ALONE. We are NEVER ALONE.

At the end of the day, you are NOT a size, weight, height, color, age, or item… You ARE beautiful, strong, capable, smart, loving and worthy.

Read that again. Read that over and over again until you believe it for yourself. It may not be today. It may not happen tomorrow. But it will happen. We have to speak truths and light into our souls. We have to retrain ourselves to feel this way again. Because it’s so so important!

I really liked this analogy that I read: “My body is my home, and I will not tear it down.” Your body loves you. Love it back. Striving to be better is helpful, but striving to be perfect is impossible.

Okay, I’m sure I have done my fair share of talking your ear off for the day, so I’ll wrap this up. I have 157 other things to say, but I’ll save that for a “part 2”! I want to leave you with some food for thought until next time. “IF YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING NICE TO YOURSELF, PRACTICE.” It may not come easy at first, it’ll take time and dedication, maybe some tears along the way. But, baby, you deserve it. You deserve to treat yourself the same way you would treat someone that you love. It’s a journey, and I’m so proud of you! You are a fucking bad ass and you are a living, breathing, work of art. Don’t you dare forget it!

3 Comments

Kate

Huge Y E S to the part about finding your sister’s stretch marks beautiful and interesting, but hating the stretch marks that made an appearance on YOUR body. I constantly find myself in the position of embracing and loving other people for their flaws, then turning right around and tearing myself up over the same exact imperfections on my own body.

My wish for every human being is that they can open their eyes and begin to see themselves with the filter of kindness and grace that others see them through.

I said it yesterday and I’ll say it 1000 more times: I love your heart, my sweet friend. ❤️

Taylor

This comment made me cry. Girl, I adore you so so much for truly taking the time to read what I put out there! I get so nervous each time, wondering if absolutely anyone even cares–but hearing things like that just make it 157% worth it. THANK YOU. And you’re completely right, it’s difficult to see ourselves the way others do. Giving ourselves grace and opening our hearts is so hard, but so so important. You’re freaking gorgeous and I love youuuu!
Xx-T.