There is a brief glimpse very late in the minimalist
apocalyptic thriller Legion where we see what might have been had the
movie not taken itself so seriously. The
archangel Michael (Paul Bettany), now and for most of the movie a human being,
witnesses his old angelic brother Gabriel (Kevin Durand) walk into the diner in
the middle of nowhere, where he and other humans have held up to defend
themselves against an onslaught of angel-possessed humans. Gabriel appears in steel breastplate and tunic, holding a motorized mace,
and extending his feathered (but somehow also razor-sharp and bullet-resistant)
wings to full glory.

It's an absolutely ridiculous moment, made all the more
so by the self-important tone co-writer/director Scott Stewart imposes upon this
silly thing, full of inconsistent mythology and utterly redundant structure.

Instead of going all-out with how preposterous the
entire idea of God sending angels from Heaven to possess mankind and kill the
rest who haven't been possessed (which isn't at all fair, especially when you
consider the angels might as well have the people they take over kill
themselves, and doesn't make any sense, especially when Gabriel the invincible
arrives and you realize those other angels are wasting their time with the
possession gag if angels are that tough in their natural form), Stewart and
co-writer Peter Schink think there's something more going on here. Their characters have blatant development moments, Michael and Gabriel
argue free will, humanism, and the nature of their deity, and yet no one winks
during any of this.

The movie opens with Michael descending to Los Angeles,
cutting off his wings, and being released from a collar around his neck. Obviously, this is meant to be a symbolic gesture, because otherwise, he
wouldn't be able to decide to fight for humanity against his omniscient boss. However, if it is just symbolic of his defiance, it's a pretty stupid
move on his part, because after we see what Gabriel can do with his feathery
appendages, those wings would come mightily handy later on.

I hate talking about what might seem nitpicky, but
Stewart and Schink set themselves up for it, focusing so much energy and
thematic importance upon their mythology that, in the end, it's pretty clear
they're just making things up as they go to resolve everything the way they
want.

Anyway, Michael arrives at a diner in the middle of the
Mojave Desert, where a band of people finds themselves when all Heaven breaks
loose. They include Bob (Dennis Quaid), the diner's owner, Percy
(Charles S. Dutton), the cook, Howard and Sandra (Jon Tenney and Kate Walsh), a
married couple waiting for their car to be fixed, Audrey (Willa Holland), the
couple's daughter, and Tyrese Gibson, playing a man who's name happens to be
Kyle but you'll have to wait until right before the end of the second act to
find that out.

In between a shooting-gallery-styled sequence in which
everyone shoots at a bunch of angel-possessed people and when Gabriel finally
shows up (which is a lot of time), we get little bits of dialogue between two
characters. One of them says some
generalized character information, to which the other responds with his or her
generalized character trait. It
gets tedious pretty quickly.

Also there are the eventual heroes. Charlie (Adrianne
Palicki) is pregnant, and Michael says her baby is the
hope for humankind. Jeep (Lucas
Black) is Bob's son, and Michael says it's people like him that are the reason
the maybe-former angel has sided with humanity. Jeep, Michael tells him, is supportive of his dad, loves a woman who's
pregnant with another man's child, and thinks nothing of himself. Michael forgot to mention the obvious strength it takes to
make it this far in life with the name Jeep. I assume that's just understood by everybody.

Stewart keeps all of this as based in some form of
reality as possible, and the movie drags as a result. The few action sequences are repetitive, and the unfurling plan for
humanity's annihilation is a holey mess (Why do the angels just stand around the
diner when they clearly have a seemingly unlimited supply of forces driving to
the diner? Gabriel may not be able
to touch Charlie before she has the baby, but why not have him kill everyone
else off?)When Gabriel does
finally arrive, it picks up some energy, but it's of the unintentionally
hilarious variety.

After
all, if you take just an instant to think about it, Legion makes no sense
even in its own erratic logic.