Monday, March 12, 2012

Everything Always Happens To Me

Well the collarbone groundhog came out today and saw my x-ray's shadow. Sadly it will be two to four month's before I get on a bike again. I hate to subject you faithful readers of (this geek tragedy) to more of my health woes, but someone has to be the goat and unfortunately, the costume is my size.

It is a little hard (even for my bitter, cynical brain) to believe I didn't even get a full year back on the bike. The song lyrics to "If I only Had a Brain" and "If I only had a Heart" keep ringing in my ears for some reason. I am getting a little tired of trying to keep a stiff upper lip and all that. I was really hoping for some long boring years of little to nothing to report, but I guess Deity of Choice has other agendas to which I am either not privy or the punch line.

I want to apologize to all my friends for not calling more, or staying in touch, but I see no need to spread the bad vibes.

Anger management, time on the trainer, and more TV are in my (BASTARD!) future. Feel free to laugh.

Son of a bitch, not you of course since we all know you're a BASTARD, but god damn the luck. I hear you though since I limped through a season only to find out I needed surgery which took me out of the whole ski season (you wouldn't understand...) only to repeat the crash the following year taking me out of another ski season though no surgery this time.

Do what you need to survive, but please keep up the whining. It'll do you good and your writing is always a pleasure to read.

Y'all can suck it. I eat brown rice and kale because I like the taste and Wife Swap is a touching and breathtaking roadmap for political reconciliation and cooperation in our broken two-party system- BASTARDS!