The Forgiveness Foe

You already know that you need to forgive others. And you’ve probably done so, many times. But still, that nasty feeling of hurt can creep up on you, when you least expect it or want it.

The research says, keep working on it.

ECU’s own Kathleen Row, chair of the psychology department, studies the relationship between a person’s health, his ability to forgive, and spirituality.

Her research shows that people who find it easier to forgive enjoy healthier levels of blood pressure and heart rate recovery. She compares unforgiveness with carrying a heavy sack on your back; it literally weighs you down.

Former divorce lawyer and author, Roger Lanphear, provides practical help for forgiving in his book, Wealth Consciousness. He argues that holding a grudge invite suffering, poverty, and injustice into your life.

Everything that happens to you has an eventual link to something positive; it’s your job to look for it. While we usually don’t see the silver lining in our dark cloud until later, simply knowing that it will appear can help. Actively contemplating positive results from your hurts helps you get over them.

Lanphear writes it this way, “Life is for giving love. Life is FOR GIVING love.”

When you feel resentment or unforgiveness beginning to show its ugly head, simply say to yourself, “I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me. Thank You.” You can say this even if you see that you did NOTHING to provoke the other person’s negative action.