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*I found this post in my drafts folder. I started writing it after the spring 2011 antiques week shows, but never got around to posting it. I’m not finishing it, but thought you might find it amusing, as is. I know I did. It brought back all kinds of good memories! Hope to see you at prom tonight! My apologies for posting sans photos. I promise you’ll see photos from the current show soon.*

Tips you can use for your next trip to Warrenton/Round Top, Texas!

1. I highly recommend finding an old friend you haven’t spoken to in 25 years who just happens to live close to Warrenton. Don’t be afraid to beg said friend for Deluxe Accommodations. Be a neat and quiet houseguest so that said friend will take you in once again when his swimming pool is complete. {But check in regularly with your junking friends so they don’t fret that said friend has become a serial killer during the past quarter century and chopped you to bits, when all the while you were simply enjoying an adult beverage followed by a perfect night’s rest in your temperature-controlled Deluxe Accommodations.}

2. DO eat at Happy Belly if you get the chance. Great people. Mighty good food. Have the meatloaf sandwich and see if YOU can guess the secret ingredient like I did.

3. DO buy plenty of Jill Suzanne candles because once you are home, you WILL become addicted. {Luckily she has a website!} Hey, maybe she and Happy Belly share the same addictive secret ingredient!

4. DO NOT skip Marburger Farm. During your visit there, if you’re lucky you’ll have a friend who had a birthday bash the night before and is offering up leftover cupcakes. {Decline politely since you had TWO the night before and opt for the salad with honey mustard instead.}

5. DO accept any and all social invitations, even if they require you to wear white, which means you have to change clothes in a bathroom stall at Cole’s so you’ll meet dress code.

6. DO watch for celebrities like Tori Spelling, but be willing to throw an elbow if need be. {I have faith you can take her down.}

7. DO stay out late for the Junk Gypsy prom. You’ll meet pirates. And men with boobs made out of globes. It’s scary and magical all at the same time. But, sadly, you WON’T win the cowboy boots giveaway.

8. Remember that the Port-O-Let is your friend — because you’ll be buying that $5 free refill (for the entire show!) tea from Royer’s. OR…plan your restroom breaks so they coincide with a trip to Cole’s (real toilets) or the Hillcrest Inn for breakfast/lunch/dinner {their bathrooms offer you the time-saving advantage of taking care of business WHILE you wash your hands. Amazing.}

9. Take a rolly cart. And remember to get it out of your car. It may be annoying, but it is a necessity for the hardcore junker. And when someone walks away with your cart, don’t worry. Simply follow him and say loudly, but politely, “Sir, Sir!” until he turns around and notices you. Then say, “I think you may have my cart.” He’ll apologize profusely, return your cart to you, then go fetch the one he left behind, which is shaped like yours but is a completely different color.

10. Have an adult beverage at Royer’s in Zapp Hall field, where you’ll be able to engage in some prime people watching. Don’t be alarmed by the group of women wearing matching tees and bunny ears. Nor should you fret about their purchase of the massive Corona bottle. Just pray, for their sake, that there is a beach house involved.

12. Beware of the man wearing American Indian garb. He’s looking to make some bucks off your photo op with him. And he always seems to be right beside you. SKIP!

13. Buy at least one cool piece of clothing for yourself. That Salvage Slut tee is calling your name and would look perfect layered under a red.neck chic creation and topped with some mighty fine salvaged jewelry from any number of trendy sellers. So, yeah… buy some jewelry, too. And maybe a handbag or three.

I found the scary doll at Clutter in Warrenton. Her hair was a matted mess, so I freed her from it. The enamelware fountain was at the County Line show in Carmine. Put them together and you get a fab yet frightening Halloween display. Now all that we need is a change in the weather! I’m heading back to the fields for a couple more days. When I return, watch for an antiques week giveaway and a peek at Rachel Ashwell’s B & B.

Please picture me, down on my knees, face to the floor, arms outstretched, bowing repeatedly and muttering, “I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy.” Because that’s what I’ll be doing come September 26, when I’ll be lunching with 34 fellow bloggers AND Rachel Ashwell at Rachel’s new B&B, The Prairie, in Round Top, Texas.

How in the world did this happen? Is that what you’re wanting to know? Yeah, me too. The dumpsters were aligned just perfectly, I guess. So…cell phone camera at the ready, I’ll be heading that way in just a couple of weeks. Whew. Time to start figuring out what to wear.

I already had one friend, Suzanne of The Girls at Rusted Gingham, offer to accessorize me. While I’m sure she was meaning that she would be my finest accessory, it could be that she’s worried about what I’ll wear. I was considering white, since I rocked it so hard at Janet of Sweet Talk/Rubbish fame’s birthday party during the last antiques week show. (But, alas, it’s long past Labor Day.)

OR…I thought about going as Rachel herself, circa spring 2011, where she so gracefully hid behind sunglasses and a turban. The look is *so* six months ago now, that it doesn’t even matter that I couldn’t pull it off.

SO…I’ve decided I should let YOU dress me. Yep…wouldn’t it be fun to walk The Prairie Red Carpet in Antiques Week’s finest? For instance, as it stands, I could easily say my shirt was Virgins, Saints and Sinners or Saddle Tramp. I could be wearing an original Meloney Russell bag. I might be sporting a Mendy Metrani flower in my hair, on my lapel or on my wrist. Jewelry? That would be a harder decision. I could choose to wear a Maggie of the Veranda’s spoon necklace. I also have a Red Neck Chic wrist cuff. More Virgins, Saints and Sinners jewels are in my box as well. Plus tons of assembled pieces from the likes of I can’t remember! Oh! And just today I ordered the sweetest wrist tutu from Duct Tape and Denim.

Image courtesy of Duct Tape and Denim and NOT the bracelet I ordered, but aren’t these TDF?

Decisions, decisions.

BUT, fear not, as fun as it was, I will not be sporting my own petticoat JUNKtion vintage photo creation.

Me with Queen Marsha…look at the petticoat. Look only at the Petticoat!

It worked for Paper Cowgirl, but I’m not thinking this will be the time or the place.