Posted Jan 22, 2010

The meaning of and difference between the words ‘relationship’ and ‘arrangement’ is an ongoing conversation in the Sugar Daddy dating world. Finding out what a potential Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby desires on an emotional and physical level is important, yet not always easy…

“Any suggestions on how to better clarify that I am NOT wanting a real relationship? I thought my profile was pretty substantive and detailed enough about wanting to have fun, long distance, no drama.” –UncommonSB

How do you let potential sugars know the level of emotional and physical involvement you seek? In your profile?

Spy school taught me how to do excel macros and pivots… uber helpful with the files… I too am a fan of excel (as you read in my blog) but a macro allows me to extract emails into nifty excel tabs 😉

ElegantSugarsays:

Good morning, EVERYONE!

Taylor: I have a very organized way of keeping track of my Sugar Life, which includes excel spreadsheets and hidden folders on my external hard drive.

Without giving out all the details( in case there’s a spy on the blog), I have a very clandestine way of hiding files by saving them as RAR archives and then embedding them into JPG files. If anyone opens up the JPG, all they see is the image. I categorize the files in the following three ways: LSD (Long Term SD – these include photos and other things we’ve shared with one another throughout our relationship.), SSD (Short Term SD – I have had a few short-lived relationships that didn’t work out for one reason or another) and then finally, the last file is labeled PSD (Pot SD, only those very serious ones have a folder). Within each one of those files (LSD, SSD & PSD) each person has a folder labeled with their name and within the folder I keep the photos they’ve shared and anything else of relevance. If a PSD becomes one of the others (LSD or SSD) he is renamed and moved to the appropriate file.

I know that seems like a lot of work, however, I had to develop a way to keep track because I do get contacted quite a bit and I also reach out quite a bit. I would say 4 out of 5 I write, write back. Sometimes the communication (email and phone) can last a while before we meet since I usually pursue out of state and seems I’m usually contacted by out of state as well as out of the country.

And I thought learning how to read upside down was the only skill I gained from spy school…

Taylorsays:

Caramel, yes please?

james: you got to hear kris sing bobby? wow. wow. wow.

and there’s something about old country that’s very different from the new stuff… and the old stuff is amazing. you’re right that modern country doesn’t really measure up, and it usually sounds like bad pop anyway

Elegant – I just bought the dream matte moose (maybeline 7.99) … Adriana Lima said it will make your pores disappear and make your face look airbrushed… now if you want to get me to buy anything put Adriana Lima in the ad… but the foundation is amazing… if any of you ladies have blackheads that just wont go away this is the cure…

Does Revlon one provide good coverage? My face tends to break out due to constant stress…

I’ve had a premium account in the past but not currently. I do like that it allows you to see who has viewed your profile, who has added you as a favorite and the advanced search options it gives you.

Caramel Angelsays:

I have a premium account, i dont know if Ill renew for next month. If I meet a nice SD or 2 then probably not.

Caramel Angelsays:

photogirl: you cant see if theyve looked at you more then once in he same day but if they looked at you yesterday you will see it. The ones that look a lot ususally add you as a fave. Those are the ones to talk to, make sure that you dont say too much, just enough to intrigue them enough to message you back

Caramel Angel – How are you able to see which ones viewed you more than once? From my understanding it only shows the date/time of the 1st time they viewed you…

Caramel Angelsays:

I always look and see who has been looking at me, the SD’s that look more than once are the ones I message. The ones that add me as favorites I check out too, most just want a glorified prostitute, but the ones that are looking for something a lot better than that are the ones that I send messages to, and they usually message me back.

Wait I lied, 65 now.
I’ve only had my profile up since last night though… but no one mentioned time being a part of the rules.

DC SBsays:

Well if it makes anyone feel better I only have 35 profile views. I win!

Caramel Angelsays:

Taylor I have some tips for you that have worked for me so far. Im pretty new at this and I’ve already got a few pot SD’s that want me to come visit this weekend (which I cant because I have to work) message me sometime and I can tell you whats worked for me.

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Me and my low view count are off to work. I will review all applications for the VB position later. Please include your desired allowance, applications with a naked picture (of you this time) will be given higher preference.

I will apply for said position if you add a photo to your profile… and I promise to not say a word about your Wally World or sans panties requirements.

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Now hiring: I am looking for a View Baby (VB). You will be required to view my profile at least twice a day and spread the word about the awesome Sugar McDaddy you found. There will be a monthly allowance and for each new “Who viewed you” there will be additional gifts and spoiling. Please apply at

he_is_a_loser_and_no_one_is_looking_at_his_profile at you ugly dot com

SDN ~ You are far from ugly!! 😉

photogirlsays:

Hi Anna! Good morning EVERYONE!!

I am good… thank you How is your mom doing?

Anna Mollysays:

Oh, my mom is just fine. Thank you for asking

Just a couple of scrapes. She has a bad back from a car crash that happened many years ago, so I thought I should have her checked out by a DR. just to be on the safe side. Dr. said she if fine, but will be a little sore for a couple of days.

NEOhio ~ You’re right about the profile views. I have 1248 views, but only 345 profiles show up in the “who viewed my profile” section.

photogirlsays:

Cali – You have your profile linked here as well so that will account for many of the profile views I am sure. You are pretty! Don’t say such a thing! And yes NEOhio is right, that count includes multiple views from the same people as well as any SBs that may view your profile.

Taylor – I am sort of a MUTT lol… Pensilvania Dutch, Swedish, Indian and a few others But an interesting side note… Jessie James and Jeremiah Johnson (liver eatin’ Johson) are Great Great Great Uncles of mine(give or take a Great)

NEOhio SBsays:

AM ~~ Hope everything is okay with your mom !!

NEOhio SBsays:

Good morning all.!!!

Nice to see Naughty Molly is still sleeping…SDN you must have been a good boy last nite and so far this morning.

Cali ~~ You are gorgeous. I wouldn’t put any correlation to the number of views and the received emails. There are those fake ones just surfing the site with no intentions of ever contacting anyone, plus i believe that it counts every time the profile is viewed, even if it is by the same SD. ( I may be wrong on that, but believe it is true).

AM: Morning.

Anna Mollysays:

Good morning Taylor!

Anna Mollysays:

Cali ~ You’re not ugly!! Why would you say such a thing?

Taylorsays:

I think a stockholm-to-helsinki via cruise ship meet would rock. Those ship are killer fun. Who is with me? Anyone? Bueller?
In other news, went to the picasso exhibit and lunch with local married pot sd, and already he’s initiating talks of how he is going to leave his wife, and maybe if he did,he and I could give a relationship a try. Sheesh. I’m just not that into him.

Wow.. I just saw my profile has been viewed 1028 times. Yet I’ve probably only gotten messages from 15 to 25 SD’s, and that’s including ones I’ve messaged first. Am I that ugly? Holy cow.

Taylorsays:

We definitely need a new blog…….. I think the topic should be about ‘the hunt for sugar’….and how to avoid being on the sugar hunt FOREVER and hone in on that perfect sugar as soon as possible. Like, how do you manage your potentials (excel spreadsheet, like nyc sb?) and semi-potentials, and how many are you initiating contact with per day, per week, how many do you get to second email phase, how many to third, how many to a first meet, etc, etc. How do SBs as well as SDs manage the selection process…. it seems to be a numbers game and the more you can manage to juggle in the early phases, the better, since so, so many (on both sides) just……. *poof* and flake on you. Or then the chemistry just isn’t there.
Anyone else want to give me their rundown on their methods for managing ‘the sugar hunt’ or think it would be a good blog topic?

Beach, Sweety, you are up late! Going to the LA meet to make good on your blog name? It would be a kick to meet you there! Don’t tell on my seeking chocolate shopping advice …

Night all, sweet sugar dreams.

Beach_Girlsays:

maybe we can put it for the 26th? it’s the friday?

James — Sorry! It sounded like you were from SoCal. I guess I was just super excited there was finally a SoCal SD on the blog! But hopefully you can coordinate your schedule and come to the LA meet. It’s Feb. 25 and potentially 26 as well. There may be a dozen SB’s there, but only 1 SD that I know of. You would be one lucky man that night! 😉

Oh yeah, one more thing about the SoCal meet. Should we change it to the weekend? Would that make it easier on people? If you plan/want to come, feel free to voice your opinion.

LASBsays:

James – Well most American airlines are a little downplayed and w/o amenities. I love JAL. I also like Cathay Pacific. Heck, most international airlines are nicer than AA. I have yet to fly Emirates, but I hear it’s amazing.

James~ hey,,, just came to see what was up couldn’t sleep!
I agree Ghiradelli chocolate is great
You should so come to the LA meet… I will have the details soon!

Jamessays:

Cali SB, I’m from NYC but I travel to NorCal and SoCal frequently for business. I do have to be in OC next month so it’s a possibility, thanks! I posted a while ago, then disappeared due to, well, real life, then came back recently. Many new voices but still the same (mostly) positive attitude.

My favorite airline is, or was, JAL (yay codeshare with AA!), but they just went bankrupt and have announced major cuts to their workforce and routes.

LASB, AA is ghetto? I love my warm nuts and personal entertainment devices! Last night first class was empty, 30 people in coach, every seat in business was taken.

James — Macy’s sells delicious Godiva hot chocolate! Do you live in LA? I think I’ve only seen you post a couple of times, I didn’t realize there was a SoCal SD on the board. There are many of us SoCal SB’s here so that would be fabulous if you were. We could use another SD at the meet next month. *hint hint* 😉 BTW, my favorite airline is Mexicana. They give meals (choice of 2) on flights that aren’t even 2 hours long! They are so nice and accomodating. I’ve been meaning to write them a letter about how much I love them! I wish they flew domestically throughout the US!

Elegant — That profile sounds SO familiar. If I’m not mistaken that’s a profile of someone I’ve talked to and wasn’t legit.

Good night, all! (for the LAST time, I swear!)

LASBsays:

Oh, another hot chocolate that I like is Leonidas. I don’t know where there is one in SF, but I like the one is Pasadena.

Jamessays:

Kiki, feels like I’m in full on night owl mode too, but it’s not even 11! I used to have a kind of soft spot for country music, at least the Willie Nelson outlaw type. My grandmother was a cowgirl and used to play Texas swing records all the time. I once heard Kris Kristofferson sing Bobbie McGee in a Houston club with broken air conditioning, when he introduced it he said he was sorry if this was going to sound like a country song, but that’s the way he wrote it. They used to say about country music that if you listened long enough, you’d hear the story of your own life.

But I wonder about that now in the modern Nashville era. I was driving in rural Virginia with my son and nephew over the holidays and hit a patch where country was about the only thing on the radio, so we listened for a while out of curiosity. The lyrics were either, basically, “I’m proud to be a redneck trucker and everyone else can stick it” or flat out crazy. One of them was about a guy waking up in the morning and cooking rice in the microwave — wtf?? After half an hour, the boys could do a perfect imitation and were making up better country songs than on the radio. And then we got bored.

there’s a little canadian company called saxon chocolates that does some interesting drinking chocolates… neat spices and stuff

LASBsays:

Hi James – Ugh, don’t tell me it’s cold up there. I’m going this weekend. I hope it warms up by then. I like AA too, even though everyone says it’s ghetto. Virgin is nice, but really they have less leg room and less comfortable seats. Since I sleep anyhow, I don’t care that much about the TV.

For hot chocolate, the Godiva is ok. I also like some of the italian grocery store stuff (perugina and standa), but I don’t know where to get them in the States. Also, this may sound funny, but Safeway used to have one that was really good. It was called something like “european hot chocolate” and came in a tin can, and was really rich and not very sweet. Back in the day, Starbucks used to make hot chocolate like that, but now theirs is too sweet and milky.

ElegantSugarsays:

LASB: If you are serious, I can send you his profile number. He wrote to me, but what he wants is not a fit for what I’m looking for.

This guy’s subject line is: Ladies are your boots made for walking? (no sex)

Then further into his profile, he writes:

“Looking to take care of your shopping, buy you new clothes and shoes, as long as you’ll use them to walk all over me! (literally and figuratively) Buy/get whatever you like, get spoiled, and then call me names and have me cook you dinner in return! what do you think, have a little dominatrix in you?”

And then there’s more. Didn’t know if you were kidding, but if you are serious, have OC forward your email info and I will pass along!

Jamessays:

Hi Beach, hope all is well with you! Amusing conversation earlier, no? Did Naughty Molly turn her strict gaze on you too?

Elegant, I prefer to fly AA almost exclusively domestically (except for Continental’s direct flight to John Wayne, when I don’t want to risk the traffic on the 405 down from LAX). They’ve been offering Gogo since last September, I think. It’s made me want to buy a smaller computer. But tonight I’m in NorCal, where it is as cold and wet as I can remember it ever being out here. Cold even by non-Cali standards. Sure could use a cup of hot chocolate!

Speaking of which, can anyone recommend a special brand of hot chocolate? I was looking for some to give as a present and couldn’t find anything by Li-Lac or Godiva, at least in stores. I seem to remember there are a few devotees of the cacao bean on here.

Kikisays:

hello to all of the night owls ~
everytime i think i’m caught up, i refresh and find i have a lot more reading to do – but i’m all caught up now – lots going on here these past couple days!! i don’t really have anything to contribute tonight… just that i can’t stand country! a few of my friends really like a country bar in town, and i have to admit it’s fun at first — but after a few songs i’m ready for some beyonce or kanye or gaga 😛 i’m also a fan of any dessert you can eat with a spoon, swear by covergirl & rimmel but can’t bring myself to spend so much on mac, and also – i have a german/canadian background. i’m going to try and keep up with the blog so that i can actually comment on a question or issue when it comes up, instead of continuously lurking and then posting in the middle of the night. that said — i really should get to bed… night all! xo

ElegantSugarsays:

Ok, still up, but just for a blink…

Uncommon: Thanks! I am definitely trying that recipe soon. I love, love, love food…but try to be as much of a health nut as possible when eating at hom;, saving the big calories for nights out with SDs. 😉

SBnxtdoor: I completely understand your concern! You are right, in most (if not all) locations, it is frowned upon to be a SB. People who don’t understand or accept the lifestyle view us as gold diggers or even worse, escorts! I get very, very nervous about meeting any local SDs for fear of “getting found out” – so I can relate to your nervousness. I focus on out of town/state SDs for now to dispel that anxiety. If he wants to see you again though, I’m sure you two can discuss your concerns. Keep us posted, sweetie!

lasb my stuff is OLD, latex is newfangled *g*

LASBsays:

Hi Everyone!

ElegantSugar – I like the shoe guys, so I’d be more than happy with any leads. They only get to lick the bottoms of the shoes, though. 😉

Taylor – This week, I could use a kinky afgan in LA. Tomorrow is one of my favorite monthly parties, and it’s going to be cold out.

Cali – I’m catching a freakin’ cold. I’m sure it’s because I had no sleep/immune system by the time I got on that plane out of JFK. I don’t want to be sniffling all over the pots. But yeah, I’m down to freestyle.

Glasses – I’m ALL about the glasses. I even talk about my attraction for glasses wearing men on my SA profile.

NYCBella – I haven’t mixed any of my worlds. In fact, I’ve only ever dated vanilla guys. D/s is just a side hobby and as odd as a sounds, a source of some of my greatest friendships. When I speak to folks in the scene here, I ask them how they got into it, and it’s the same answer I have.” The rave scene died and I needed somewhere to party. This is way better!” Really, though, I see it more as an art than anything else. 95% of my life is lived in the vanilla world. Would I be open to a submissive SD? Heck yeah! Is it required, absolutely not. I tend to date hard core Alpha males that aren’t intimidated by a strong woman and who aren’t trying to change me. In return, they get my respect, devotion, loyalty, and a damn good time.

Cleo – Once you try latex, you never go back. I haven’t worn my leather dress in years. Same goes with all the pvc. Latex is super flattering and it packs well.

elegant george is passing through a less attractive patch for sure but i have faith he’ll he a super hottie again in a few years…

SBnxtdoorsays:

Had two potSD dates today–from another site. One is going to become a client and help me with some business stuff, but I don’t think he will become an SD now. It will be strictly professional if we exchange services. The 2nd potSD makes me so nervous because he knows who I am, and has seen me around. He does business w/ very key people who refer business to me and he doesn’t remember seeing me as a client but he did a few years ago. I feel so weird. He was very sweet though and wants to see me again. I’m so worried about my reputation. I’m sweating that he might share where we met. I don’t know why. Kinda nauseaous right now about it, but then I am a toatal worry wort. It is cool for a man to be an SD, but it is so very taboo to be an SB.

Nite Elegant and Beach!

OC if you could please give my email to Elegant and Beach and/or vice versa, that’d be great! Thanks hun!

UncommonSBsays:

Okay, I rarely comment on the food topics, but I’ll give all of you yogurt eating fanatics an easy new option to try. BTW- I can’t even try most yogurts b/c they have gelatin, which I don’t eat since I’m a veggie. Been one for more than a decade, so I love to experiment with flavors to keep my options interesting.

So simple, instant vanilla pudding mix using just a little less than the recommended amount of milk (use 2%) and mix in a tablespoon of rosewater. Slice some fresh strawberries and layer them into dessert bowls/wine glasses with the pudding. It’s a wonderfully simple pairing of flavors and pretty low cal/low fat too.

elegant sugar i’m not so richard gere but i can see the attraction for sure… who do i think is hot… pierce brosnan, dylan mcdermott, holy shit is rob lowe ever aging well, george clooney…

Cleo — even if you eat the whole pack it’s only 400 calories, which is still less than a real piece of pie. And honestly, I have a huge sweet tooth and am usually satisfied by just 1 of these. And yes, I could eat a whole pie in one sitting! lol

I should change my SN to “Lemon Torte” and see if anyone notices or if they just think I’m a new SB.

Elegant — Yes! I have a legacy! lol I get super excited about yummy foods and sometimes get carried away with my sharing! It used to drive my ex nuts when we’d be out to eat and I loved what I ordered and asked if he wanted to try it and he’d say “no, that’s okay” and I would be like “NO, TRY IT!!! It’s SOO good!” and shove it in his mouth. 😉

Cali- don’t try the Jello mousse delights….because you will find them addicting. I love them as well. They are not too sweet but have a really nice fluffy light texture. You’ve been warned 😉

Nite!

haha Sorry Beach!

ElegantSugarsays:

Cali: I will always remember you as the “lemon torte” blogger. ha ha! When I first started reading the blog, your post was one of the first ones I read and you were simply RAVING about those so much I had to go out and buy some. You are SO right…tastes NOTHING like yogurt, (which I do like), but more like a yummy yummy dessert!

Cleo: Ah yes, we have the same taste in men. Love salt-n-pepper hair and lines. Makes them so mysterious and distinguished looking all at the same time. I like other looks on a man as well, but that particular look (Richard Gere…I don’t care about the gerbil rumors) makes me melt!

Beach: Incoming!

Delyn — Ooooh Amazon! I will check that out! Your secret is safe with me!

Oh another thing I haven’t tried yet, but I got coupons to try for free are new Jell-o Mousse Delights or something along those lines, I forget the exact name. They have 3 flavors (milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and oh gosh, maybe caramel? I have to check.) and they’re whipped like mousse and low calorie (90?) and supposed to be yummy! I will have to try them and report back! Gotta find those coupons!

Cali~ Girl, you are making me hungry! lol

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

….omiGod, how funny! I am addicted to them. The SBL snack bar delight choc/raspberry are so damn good. I eat 3-4 a day. And the peanut butter are great as well but harder to find. You can get them at eBay or Amazon for like 30 cents each but don’t tell anyone 😉

i’m thinking of retarding that for a few years with something but otherwise i like the way my face is aging. i have lovely laugh lines and i’m growing a dimple on my right smile…

oh man, laugh lines and salt and pepper on a man. yum
.
beach you’re from montreal after all

Elegant — That would be awesome because I literally only have 2 3-hour shifts for February and that’s it. Work is SUPER SLOW right now! I was so excited because I thought I was going to get the Market Manager (person who manages the models) position today but it was filled before I called. I love managing long-term promos because it’s salary (by that I just mean a flat rate per week) and steady work.Cleo — If you were in Houston, you could have a shot at IRLSD. 😉 The “lemon fridge thingies” are Yoplait Delights Parfaits, Lemon Torte flavor. They’re DELICIOUS!! They taste just like lemon merigenue pie, not like yogurt at all! They also have Chocolate Raspberry, Triple Berry (tastes like a berry creamsicle) and Caramel flavors. So yummy and only 100 calories. They come in packs of 4 and they’re like $2 or $2.50, but they had them at my local 99 cent store so I stocked up!

Cleo~ That is cool, I didn’t know you knew french… Apparently, I have a french accent when I speak.. but I don’t hear it lol….

ElegantSugarsays:

*SOULS*

ElegantSugarsays:

Cleo: I find bald spots strangely endearing as well! I also LOVE laugh lines on a man and think they are sexy on a woman too. I have a no BOTOX policy for myself, but I have many friends from their mid-twentieson up who go religiously for injections. Maybe I am too poetic, but I see the lines on a person’s face as the roadmap into their sousl and the roads they’ve traveled.

Cali: I have a friend who hires promo models. I think at times they need girls in CA. I can find out and if you want to exchange info, I can connect you with the company. Let me know!

taylor i’m half italian and then french/irish with a chunk of english…

i speak english and slightly rusty very good french and decent italian (fluent broken i’ve heard it called)
.
LASB i have a tiny pvc section in my closet. used to go to fet nights just for an excuse to dress up in pleather and platforms…
.
gemini: you’re gorgeous and smart and full of fun, i’m ridiculously smart and curvy, whatever… we all like different things…
.
Taylor on this blog thirty is closer to sweet young thing than older lady…

my poor dad, so sad about my math skills. never understood that i am amazing at any kind of number play but the ‘mathematics’ at higher levels left me cold. he says i had bad teachers, i say i have no head for it…

your story gets more intriguing, ran off for love…
.
wow, i just caught up to myself from six hours ago…

Elegant — I actually think I may have been using it longer than that, I don’t remember. I started using it before they changed the bottle design (and when there was more makeup in the bottle) so it may be more like 8 years or so, cause I’ve been out of college for a few years now. They make it in Combination/Oily formula and Normal formula. I think I use Normal. My face rarely dries out so I don’t use moisturizer more than a few times a year, I probably should use it regularly though just because! Is the PhotoReady a long-last makeup? I just threw out the CVS and RiteAid ads yesterday so I’m not sure if they’re B1G1 either place this week. Sometimes they do 40% off instead of B1G1 which is good if you just want 1 bottle, but you save 10% more if you do B1G1 instead.

Elegant ~ did photogirl send you and email with my email addy?

Beach_Girlsays:

Elegant~ I sent the email again just now… Maybe I have the wrong addy, i don’t know

Beach — I’m a promotional model, so I work with a variety of clients, shifts can be anywhere from 2 hours to 13 hours, very few have been more than that, but if they’re going to pay me $25 an hour, I’ll work 24 hours straight! lol

ElegantSugarsays:

I am all of a sudden getting the most eloquently written letters! I mentioned something about responding to men who do this versus the text speak and one sentence messages, so maybe some lurkers are following what we are saying on this blog??? Then again, I don’t link back to my profile on here. Hmmm. Co-ink-a-dink!

Cali – I have used the ColorStay and yes, you are right, it lasts and lasts! It dried my skin out just a little though. Perhaps I needed to use a better moisturizer underneath. You obviously don’t have that problem if you have been using it for SIX years!

Cali ~ wow that is a long shift, what do you do?

ElegantSugarsays:

E-mail? No. When? Where? What?

again AT night I meant.

Elegant — haha That’s how I am with snack. I’m always like TRY THIS!!! And the mini pie shells would be sooo good with it!! I haven’t heard of REVLON PhotoReady but I’m going to check it out. I have worn REVLON ColorStay for the past like 6 years and I love it. Doesn’t fade and it lasts throughout the whole day, which is important to me because sometimes I work 13 hour shifts or may work in the morning and again and night and don’t want to do my makeup again. I’ve actually had a lot of people come up to me while working and tell me what great skin I have (even older Asian women, which I think is a compliment because Asians usually have great skin!) and ask what makeup I wear. I’ve tried MAC and hate it.. it wore off after 3 hours of literally sitting around, not like I was sweating or anything. If you wear REVLON, check the CVS and RiteAid circulars. Usually every few weeks (and the stores alternate so it’s pretty frequent) they have B1G1 on REVLON makeup so you can get 2 bottles for $12, so cheap!

ElegantSugarsays:

Beach_Girl – you can find it EVERYWHERE; at Target, Walgreens, CVS. I have some friends who are makeup artists and they told me about it. It must be getting awesome reviews because it was sold out in the first two stores I went into to find it. It doesn’t look “cakey” at all and it really gives you a flawless finish. I don’t wear foundation in the summer, but during these cooler months, my skin looks better with it so I prefer something really lightweight. This stuff is so lightweight. Darn, I sound like an infomercial. (I should make a commission huh? Ha!)

OH MY GOSH, Cali…we have the same taste in snacks. How funny! I love the South Beach peanut butter snacks!! Tastes like you’re eating something really, really unhealthy.

Beach_Girlsays:

Elegant~ I am usually up late!

Cali~ hey girl!!!

Hi NJ, Va and everyone else i missed

ElegantSugarsays:

Hi VA – good night and smooches back to you. Wish I were up that way for your next ladies night out!

Cali – Ooooh. I am going to try the other flavors for sure! My brother came over and I MADE HIM try the lemon torte. He refused to at first, but once I made him try it, he said he was going straight to the store to stock up and said he was going to buy some mini-graham cracker pie shells too! (He doesn’t watch his girlish figure like I do. Ha ha!) I lived on rice cakes for almost a year and taking a break from them now. I’m on a hummus and lettuce kick right now. Yum!

NJLadysays:

ElegantSugar,
When I read his profile I knew who it was. Also from the State he’s from. I read alot of what all of you have to say. Even though I realize there are ones who primarily are on here only for “naughty fun”, I’m sure there are SD’s here for other reason’s as well. I just have to hold out for a little while longer. Thanks for the advice. Goodnight all.

Oh also.. peanut butter South Beach Diet snack bars (not the meal replacement) are SO GOOD! Last time I had them was like 3 years ago cause I got a case for free, but they were amazing!

Elegant — I still have like 4 packs of the lemon in my fridge! lol The chocolate with raspberry ones are really good too and so are the Triple Berry ones (taste like a berry creamsaver!). Haven’t tried the caramel, though I’m not much of a caramel person to begin with. I’m also addicted to Quaker Quakes rice snacks (particularly the nacho cheese and the chocolate).. there’s only 60 calories in 7 mini cakes! So yummy!

VA SBsays:

Hey ESB – ooh hon, I’m going to have to drag you out country dancing with me one night. Cowboys are yummy!

The blog was very funny today…definitely took a turn for the better.

All right, just got home from a very long meeting and I’m worn out…I agree with NYGent – isn’t it time for a new blog??

Gemi – sweetie, I sometimes feel like boring, frumpy, plain jane listening to all of our blog friends – there are some amazing women on the blog. Sure, we all bring something to the table, but sometimes……..I’m talking to three pot SDs right now…so the old saying must be true…there’s someone for all of us. We’re both going to find our perfect SD.

By the way, you’re going to come out with me, DC SB, ESB, MDsb, and Gail for the next girl’s night, right????

Smooches all – need to go to sleep now – early day tomorrow.

Ciao!

ElegantSugarsays:

Oh yeah, NJ Lady, Cali brought up a great point about his mention of “naughty fun” being a red flag.

NJLadysays:

Cali,
I know, that’s how I remembered it was he. I got the feeling, the first time, that he wasn’t on here, like you said, to find an SB, just for the other thing. I’m leaving it alone. As much as I want to find a SD, I’m not going to settle for second’s. Thank you.

Cali SB: I finished my last lemon torte tonight and can’t wait to go back for more!! Any other tasty (low-fat) food recommendations for me?

Hi Beach! I think we’re alone.

ElegantSugarsays:

Hi NJLady,

I, personally, would not reach out to a returning FLAKENSTEIN. (ha ha! Just came up with that!) I could be totally unfair in saying that because perhaps he had good reason on fizzling away. But if he just disappeared and left you hanging when you thought things were going well, I wouldn’t go back. Increase your value and move on. There will be someone who doesn’t flake on you.

Some other SBs may provide a different opinion.

Just watched the news and Toyota has a HUGE problem. They’re stopping production and sales on like 8 models of their cars. This coming after all of those recalls on both Toyota and Lexus (their luxury brand). I don’t see anything saying they are stopping production or sales of any of the Lexus models, but that seems odd considering they probably share major internal parts. Plus the Toyota production was stopped because of all of the “accelerator sticking” deaths and scares and Lexus had that recall a bit ago too (though they said that it was because the accelorator got caught on 3rd party floor mats that people put in, which I don’t believe). I’m starting to think that my car is a death trap! This is what I get for not buying domestic! haha

Taylor — It’s FREEZING in LA right now, LASB would definitely have use for your afghan! If you have an extra, I could use one too!

NJLady — Considering the fact that he has “naughty fun” in his profile, you can pretty much bet that he’s not serious about finding an SB and is here just to, excuse me, get laid. You should count yourself lucky he didn’t message you back and leave it go.

Beach_Girlsays:

Hi James, Elegant, NYGent and NJLady!

How is everyone?

NJLadysays:

Evening Sugar’s,

I need some advice. I just checked to see who viewed my profile and I went to if someone added me their “favorite”, and someone did…..I believe it is the same guy I was chatting with last year, I’m almost sure of because I remembered his profiled. And “naughty fun”, he has in his profile, rings a bell. We exchanged pictures and were IM messaging each other. For the most part, we were sort of getting alone. Nothing came about it, after awhile I didn’t hear from him and left it at that. Now he’s back. Did you think I should respond, maybe in a nonchalant way.

I do wear glasses, which are a bit geeky, but mainly because I can’t wear contacts, my eyes are too dry and the things just fall out constantly.

On other sites: the girls on E-Harmony and Match-com are, frankly, pretty boring, especially compared with those on SA. Plus most are looking for their same age group or maybe 5 years older. The quality of women on the sister site to SA is not bad, but the quantity is far, far less, I will bet 10-15% at most of the total # on SA.

Looks like the drama from past day or so has died down, which is a good thing. The various positions and views were pretty well staked out, no sense debating them further, IMO.

Almost 1,300 posts on this blog, time for a new one?

ElegantSugarsays:

JSO – you’re funny! Just say you are near-sighted. Or is it far-sighted? Not sure.

Well stated, James! Still flying the friendly skies? What airline were you on with Internet in the air last night? There are only three now that offer it. That’s what I loved about my last flight with Virgin.

Jamessays:

Hello all, well the blog sure took a turn towards the kinky today! Lots of fun, but there is no way on this planet I’m sharing my stories or personal perspectives on those subjects on here …. sorry! At the same time, I’m happy that those personally comfortable and brave enough to do so have crossed the boundary. I think that many more people IRL are kinky than would ever admit it, and it stands to reason that people drawn to this sort of adventure in the first place have more adventurous appetites. Why not talk acknowledge it? As Austin Powers might say, it’s all about freedom, baby! Personally, it’s a subject I would suggest is better to discuss in person, after initial interest is established. Those who are into it can usually tell, anyway … or so I hear.

I love The Office, Taylor! I Youtube Jim’s & Pam’s wedding just to watch the dance scene down the aisle all the time! Makes me all giddy like a school girl!!

ElegantSugarsays:

Oh yeah…forgot to answer the glasses on men question. TOTALLY LOVE IT!

Hey Gemi and MoonPatrol!

Gemini29says:

Hmmm…glasses on a guy? I’m totally into the geeky guy. I don’t know, something about being the flirt and seducing him…. ahh sweet fantasies! And you know who…yes, I AM talking about you!*

*and now all the SD lurkers and bloggers are all sent into a tizzy. my plan works! mwhahahaha!

As for the other sites, I’ve never gotten a decent hit off of Seeking Millionaire. One guy was shady and one was totally looking for a SB. Actually, a LOT of the profiles there are of guys also on SA, looking for an SB on there… which kind of fouls the pool. In the meantime, I’m still actively looking for a SD…and if it does turn sweeter…all the better! But for now, just simple sugar dating for me!

I’m attracted to women of all ages that is, legal ages. but think I could only pursue a young woman that was a spiritual dynamo. I’m seeing the benefit that older men can provide to the twenties crowd because most guys in their twenties are still in their beer binge nights phase, and where can I stick my thing and wheres my kawasaki Ninja mode. However I have a motorcycle fetisch too and am still feeling the urge to zoom around on 2 wheels

ElegantSugarsays:

Taylor: I tried seekingmillionaire about a year and a half ago when I thought I wanted to try traditional dating and perhaps meet someone for LTR. Met a tall, handsome, millionaire with gorgeous eyes and a smile to die for. Seemed he was perfect in most ways. Enormously intelligent and very much a gentleman. Went out for about three weeks and things were going pretty well, but then he became outrageously possessive (something I WILL NOT tolerate!). Wanted me to leave my job, move closer (or in with) him and would get upset when I wouldn’t answer my phone or respond to his texts right away. Learned later that wife of 20+ years left him for another man so he was still on auto-pilot and completely not ready for a new relationship.

Jealousy + Possessiveness = NO CAN DO FOR ME.

CA Dreamin: Glad you get my sense of humor! It is a bit dry sometimes. I’m not full Asian so I don’t have the thick, silky hair you speak of. It’s long and black, but not thick. It is silky with the help of Phytophanere, a dietary supplement for hair and nails and also by making a home conditioner I put in my hair once a month, – made of mashed avocado, olive oil and baking powder.

NYC Bella: Both of my past SDs wanted me to and encouraged me to date IRL. It was nice really. I could talk about my dates with my SDs and they would give me advice. Of course, the dates wouldn’t know about the SDs AT ALL. It wasn’t hard to manage because although I do date IRL, I am very adamant about not wanting anything serious so the dates never pry. If I were to meet someone IRL I fell madly in love with, I would more than likely leave the Sugar World. But since I’m not in a place where I’m open for that to happen, I’m not putting myself in the path for it to. Not now, anyway. I have my reasons.

Someone mentioned traditional dating sites? I keep seeing “Must love dogs”! I love women , not dogs. I like dogs only when I’m in the mood for them but mostly they annoy the crap out of me. I have not had good luck with the dating sites and I can see why it would be more beneficial for a woman to get an SD , as its more “commited”.

Jim & Pam just got married on the episode of the Office that I just watched and I am sitting here crying like a little baby! God I’m pathetic. I should go to sleep. But awwww …so sweet.

Does no one else watch this show?

garlicy burps, and knitting like crazy…

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Naughty Molly: Sitting here being good.

ESBsays:

I’ve been reading and reading and am STILL not caught up!! Its time for me to go to bed, Or I will NEVER get up in the morning!!

VA SB: Country, really? REALLY? I will pretend I didn’t read that! 😛 I would have NEVER guessed. My daughter has me listening to it now… and I’m actually starting to LIKE it… help me please, my alternative rock is becoming a thing of the past…

I will atempt to catch up tomorrow, unless there is a new blog, then I”ll just start from there. You all are just to busy!!

NYCBellasays:

NM~ yes Ma’am. 😉

NYCBellasays:

MMD~Also, many men in positions of power find their daily professional lives tedious and do desire the ability to allow a Dominant woman rule over their personal lives. Thereby relenquishing control that they have to exert over others, and allowing a symbiotic release of both mental and sexual angst.

Naughty Mollysays:

Just stopping by to make sure everyone is still behaving….LOL. Remember, I’m always lurking 😉

NYCBellasays:

Taylor~By “Stringy” I meant Strings definitely attached

MMD~Hmmm? Not sure, but I do think having a combination of success and power does often give people the confidence to be more open sexually or open about their sexual preferences versus hiding them away for fear that discovery would cause some sort of shame or hinder their social posturing. Of course, that theory can be reversed if someone is afraid that due to their standing, if their sexual proclivities are brought to light they face social ostricization.

SDN~Never! 😉

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

MYCBella? “Kinks”. Did you just dis me? LOL. Just teasing.

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

NeOhio SB and NYC SB – Super SD stories being shared tonight!!!

Taylor – I also have a thing for guys with glasses! I think it makes them seem a bit safer? Not sure why, but it has definitely been a common trait in the men I am attracted to.

As to the other sites, I have tried most of them at one time or another. I would never go back now that I have a sweet taste for the sugar world. I find those men a complete waste of my time. If a sugar turns sweeter, at least I will know that he will be a great provider/lover etc. I’m not looking for marraige though. I have a friend who was on seeking millionaire and she did end up moving to a steel mogul’s guest house with her kids. It (sort of ) worked for her. She found her millionaire, but they are not married or living together. Seems more like a sugar arrangement. She did give up her home with no back up plan…I do NOT recommend this.

NYCBella – not into the D/s scene, but I have noticed a LOT of SDs here are looking to “worship” and submit to their queen. Is that a popular choice among the successful who can wield their power among the masses?

NYC SB~Nice…sounds like you have a fun weekend shaping up. Am seeing pot #5 for a 2nd time tomorrow…(Fingers crossed that all goes well!)

Awww you guys… my SD missed me! (the NYC one)

He invited me to swing by for a glass of wine after work (yes im still at work)… got second row tix for a play for Thurs (this is after I told him Katherine Zeta Johnes is my celebrity top 3)… and invited me to a party with his friends Sat…

totally made my day

NYCBellasays:

SDN~knowing how many kinks there are out there…I’m sure if you dig a bit, you’ll stumble across one.

NYCBellasays:

Oh, and to answer your question…I’ve tried other dating sites (eharmony for one), only briefly, but I realized it was very “Stringy” and I’m just not looking for that sort of situation at this time. Though if I am in the future, then sure, why not? They do have ways of matching people based on “compatibility” and life experiences which is better than just randomly meeting someone in a bar.

Quiet night for me…I hope to get more than a few hours of sleep tonight. Not being a blog addict tonight!

NYCBellasays:

Ooh, me too!!! I think it’s the Clark Kent/Superman fantasy. I’ve always had a thing for men in specs.

NYCBellasays:

Taylor~I’m here…just came back. Watching “Role Models” which is effing hilarious! One of my first s friends is into LARP and after seeing this, I can’t help but crack up when she talks about her weekend adventures.

Here’s a question I’ll pose to whomever wants to respond: For those of you who have experienced D/s relationships, how have you carried that into the SB/SD world? Or do you feel the need to keep those 2 worlds separate?

Taylor – personally, I have never tried those sites. I’m really just looking for no drama, no strings, etc. right now. Just personal preference

Taylorsays:

CA Dreaming SB – Hola! So answer my poll question.

Taylorsays:

Random Poll: Have any of you SBs ever tried SeekingMillionaire, or EliteMeeting or any of those traditional dating sites for the wealthy & beautiful with a marriage mindset? Or are ya’ll not open to traditional dating? I’m kind of open to everything. I just love the gentleman aspect, and I’m not the kinda girl to sit around all chaste and demure during her single days, while waiting around for cupid’s bow to hit me between the eyes. That’ll happen someday, and I’m enjoying the pursuit of sugar in the meantime. But sometimes I poke around the traditional dating sites where you can weed out based on financial success, as that really does indeed matter to me. Do ya’ll? Do you guys ever go on regular dates from any source?

gotta sometimes lay off the candy…..

Taylorsays:

I think everyone is gone…. scared by my D/s crush on LASB…….. and my crush on a blog SD as well…..

Cleo-
I saw your profile last night and the photos I would like to see would show your long legs. You are tall and a sitting pose with a short skirt and legs crossed would show how nice a tall girl is. Heck if i get my camera I bet I could shoot three awesome poses in a matter of minutes as my eyes are trained for composition and aesthetic pursuits. I took some pics of my ex sb for her profile with a damn camera phone and made her look pretty good. Just saying too bad you ain’t in Houston .

taylor: given a choice i’ll take my fat brain over the alternative. i did a standardized test once and got 98 or 99th percentile on seven of eight sections and then the tester was staring at me when i reacted to my 79/90 on the last one.

she was like ‘what’ and i was like ‘i flunked’

she hadn’t ever met anyone who sulked for ending up in the 94th percentile instead of the 99th

Elegant Your sense of humor cracks me up. I wish I was asian so that I could say that “love me/him long time”. Oh, and have the fabulous silky hair. Yep…

Gemi — haha Yes! I am all dolled up for the bloggers! If only I had a webcam!

Elegant — I’m not a big drinker anymore and I’ve been feeling sick the past few days (and I’m EXHAUSTED right now) so I’m not really bummed about it (actually, I’m kinda happy about it, I just wish I hadn’t done my makeup yet! ;)) and will just be staying in tonight. If I was feeling a bit better I probably would just go out. Maybe LASB and I could hunt for SD’s IRL finally!

Ok, guys. I have family coming over now to play Scrabble and talk about electronics. Be back later. Have to hide my Sugar World away now…

xoxo

CA Dreamin SBsays:

Elegant – You are SO funny! I love my 4″ heels too

ElegantSugarsays:

Later, NM!

AND…I love my 4″ heels so I’m usually taller than the guy. If he is significantly older, talk about turning heads. It ain’t because I’m a SUPA MODEL, it’s because everyone thinks I’m his paid Asian masseuse there to love him long time.

Naughty Mollysays:

You guys have fun! I might be back later.

Taylorsays:

*ahem* ….Gemi–I also complimented you.

And btw, I’m NO former runway model like flo and elegant. And I’m 30 years old! So not everyone on this blog is Miss Young Thang straight off the catwalk, with a PhD tucked in her designer handbag. I’m not. I have a bachelors, that’s it. Ran off to Europe for love and put my graduate schooling ambitions on hold. Not terribly accomplished nowadays but I’m putting plans into motion to rectify that.

-And I am still knitting this kinky leather afghan for LASB, hoping that she’ll spank me with it when it’s done, and then smack my breasts with the knitting needles a bit. and chomping my finnish candy…..

ElegantSugarsays:

Gemi: Every single one of us brings wonderful things to the table. All different and unique. TRUST ME, it is a downfall too. I find myself on dates where I can hear myself speak and I begin to annoy my own damn ass! Thoughts like, “Geez, stop sounding like a know-it-all, he probably wants to teach you a thing or two.”

Gemini29says:

Cali SB – So what you are saying is that you are sitting here all dolled up for us 😉

Elegant Sugar/SDN – Thank you for your kind words. Its not that I’m disheartened like I was a couple days ago…its just that against all these fantastic women…who bring so much to the table… its a bit intimidating.

Gemi, I am lame. Completely lame. You would shine like the stars next to me, IRL, I’m certain (from what i hear about you on the blog). Don’t feel intimidated!

ElegantSugarsays:

Holy Cow. I leave for a conf call and meeting, do a bit of grocery shopping, come back and this place has turned into seekinglesbian.com! Ha ha.

The funniest thing through all of my catching up is that when Taylor first came on the blog, I don’t know why, but I thought she was this young innocent little thing. A few hundred blog posts later…a BOGO/2Fer conversation is sparked by her very interesting post of wanting to have a travel buddy (aka: extra play partner for SD), she’s an intelligent math genius who likes to get spanked and she knits afghans!! No wonder married man is falling for you! Ha ha!

LASB: I should forward you a “lead” I received today from a guy looking for a dominant woman to wear heels and “walk all over him.”

More catching up to do…

Gemini29says:

I think I know why I don’t have a SD yet…. not yet a MENSA!

On that note…oh my goodness, I have to say that I feel so intimidated on the blog now by the other SBs! Real careers, MENSA level IQ, all NYC/International Models…. what is a normal girl to do?!! ack!!

Everyone, please go back to your regularly scheduled blog program. Not trying to scare off the regulars. Off to run errands.

I feel dirty just reading all of this! haha Better go get ready for the movie..

LASBsays:

NYCBella – Yeah, I didn’t go because I hear that’s the worst one on the planet, and I’d rather do the Vegas parties. Doing both is too much for one month. I hear the London one is amazing, though. Did you do the NYC ball? If so, how was it?

Who are these lesbians (not that there’s anything wrong with that) you speak of? We are bi!! Which as I recall, means we are sex addicted, sugar mama seeking heathens. (Reference to an earlier blog.)

Naughty Mollysays:

Hi Often 😉

LASBsays:

Taylor – I’ve always wanted to do the London Rubber Ball. I loooooove the fashion. If you dig latex, check out the March issue of Interview with Lady Gaga. The Baroness (in NYC) did her outfit. Anyhow, if you hit me up off the blog I can give you my tentative party schedule for the year.

SDNEOhio, men can get away with not using a profile pic, but for an SB, that’s a guaranteed kiss of death.

NYC Bella – He has indeed returned 😉

LASBsays:

San Diego – I feel your pain, darlin’. The funny thing is, though. I get a lot of SF runoff. They all say that the selection up there sucks. I believe it. You might try extending your search to that area, though so far I like the LA guys better.

Taylor: I don’t put up a picture, I am afraid it will cause SBs to become nuns.

FRS SD FKA James.m: That is one heck of a name!

man i want to try this tetilla stuff

just realized how hard it is to be a sb in so cal, most of the sds want a 100lb blonde (which im not) and the sd’s on the east coast always say ” too bad your on the west coast” starting to get irritattttinnnggggg lol

My dog is such a pig.. she scarfs her food down so fast there is dog food spatter all over my wall around her plate!

LASBsays:

Got it! Thanks!

Naughty Mollysays:

Is everyone still behaving?

Taylorsays:

SDN- I know, I would hate it too, but there it is. I write to them, primarily. If I get an email, and I’m interested in him, then I explain myself and apologize if I wasted his time and ask to switch to email immediately for real pics before he writes me off for being a bait-n-switch jerk. But truly, the girl in the photo is strikingly similar to me, same kind of big smile, same stylish but wholesome and down-to-earth look, same thick long hair (but darker in color). Definitely not more beautiful than me, unless a man only strictly girls with dark brown hair. So I can’t see that the guy would be disappointed if she is similar, but the reality is just as nice or even better…kwim? I’ve had pot SDs email me their recent photos and I realize that their uber-handsome profile photo was them FIFTEEN YEARS or so ago, and they haven’t exactly aged too well in the interim. I’m not that irritated about it because looks aren’t everything to me, but to me, that is more of a classic ‘bait and switch’ because you put something decidedly more appealing out there, and then the person bites and is told that actually, that doesn’t exist and the reality is this less-appealing thing. That’s not what I’m doing. I didn’t put a victoria’s secret model photo up on my profile and then offer them the reality and expect them to be happy. I picked a photo which could be my sister in the face, totally similar style and vibe as me, just a darker hair color. So anyway, so far no pot SD has minded my reasoning behind the discretion, and has said that they understand.

And I am having the best late night on my couch alone. Watching Season 6 of The Office and I’m so happy about it! My favorite guilty pleasure!

Still have finnish candy. and chocolates.

Knitting like the knitty kitty I am… who wants this afghan when it’s done?

I need Sprinkles Cupcakes and a coffee STAT!

I have some Godiva chocolate creme coffee here that I want to make so bad, but I’m meeting with someone for coffee before we see that premiere tonight and I don’t want to have a sad tummy all night, so I’m trying my best to wait for coffee for another 2.5 hours! It’s SO HARD!!!

SDN ~~ Us Buckeyes always stick together, but now that Naughy Molly has come out, you gotta get yourself outta this one on your own.

Headin to Benihanas in your stomping ground w a gfriend…….Will chime in later to hear the outcome.

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

AM: Sorry to hear about the fall but very glad she is fine.

CA Dreamin: No need to call Naughty Molly, I am being a good boy. Just trying to help a fellow blogger with her…uummm profile!

Naughty Molly: Sorry false alarm…wait you have a whip? Lets talk.

Taylor: I understand the need to be discreet. Do you write to the SDs or mostly let them write to you? I am not sure how I would take it if I wrote you and then found out the picture was wrong. Location if it is close wouldn’t be an issue.

LASBsays:

OC – I was gonna say the same as Cali, so now I’ll just second it. They ran out of gas over the weekend and now the food is in short supply, so they closed things off. They were supposed to get deliveries last night and tonight, but check the news/web before heading up there, and make sure you fill the tank before you drive up the hill. Snow should be amazing though. Once I reach the light at the end of the tunnel (hopefully next week!) I’m doing a few days in Tahoe to unwind.

NYCBellasays:

NM~I’ve got the wrist restraints ready…just say the word.

Do I need to bring my whip out?

Taylorsays:

I am not telling you! Besides, my profile isn’t accurate. Yeah, um, still find me respectable?? It sucks, I know, but….. I didn’t want a potential business contact here in Helsinki, or my ex husband, or anyone who knows my ex husband, or knows wealthy men I know, etc, to see me on this site, so I picked a random photo off the net that looked as much like me as I could possibly find (truly, she could be my sister, very similar look but different hair color), and skewed the location. Then as soon as anyone shows overt interest, or answers a feeler I put out, I switch to email and shower them with accurate photos and information. I feel my privacy is protected so much better this way. I try to waste as little of the potential SDs time as possible, and I fess up in my first response or my second mail, if I was the first to write. I know, I know, I could have just NOT put a pic, but then I knew I would get ignored. Besides, so far NO ONE, that I know of, has found me less attractive than the profile pic. Upon exposing my reality (own photos and where I really live), I definitely don’t suffer for lack of interest, it’s just that they are far away, and I am nervous at the thought of traveling, especially overseas, on my own.

What to do…what to do…..

OC — You’re going to Big Bear? I heard on the news they’re closed to letting anyone up there right now because of the big storm they had (running out of food and gas). Has it reopened or will it by the weekend?

SDN – I have Naughty Molly on speed dial!!!

SDN ~ My mom took a fall and I had to take her to the DR. No serious injuries though, thank goodness

NYCBellasays:

Caught up again…Taylor, sounds like SDN is really warming up to your BOGO special! lol 😉

AM~whats wrong?

NYC SB~I’ll def mention it…I’m not quite as good as you (only in upper 1300’s but what I lack in brains I make up for in resourcefulness)…though that’s if all went well in “Haiti” and I actually take the time to have a glass of wine with him again…lol…Oh! Btw…our buddy downgraded and was able to log in despite being in a disaster zone last evening…lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEOhio SB: * said with innocent expression * You misunderstand my intentions towards Taylor. I only ask so I could possibly help her improve her profile. * sweet innocent smile *

NEOhio SBsays:

SDN ~~ So your “fake wife” and your “pot TXSD” are going to pounce on you with that statement to Taylor,…kinda like one Wolverines getting hit by the entire Buckeye line……..don’t you go there. But then again, maybe you like that…;)

Taylor: OK I am caught up. I am glad we agree, I respect you so much, find you kind, funny and intelligent…so what was that profile number again?

Taylorsays:

Cleo — whatevs, academic intelligence is only one kind. So many assholes in the world with high IQs. We shouldn’t be too proud about it. Being a good person and how you treat others and what you contribute to your community/humanity matters so much more to me, not to sound all Pollyanna.

SDNEO — yes, yes, yes! relationship between me and SD being primary, and her being someone to keep me company on trips and even join in the fun if that works for him and he likes her. That’s my thinking.

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Taylor: I hope you were tongue in cheek and not offended

I haven’t caught up with the blog so there may be something new on this topic I am missing. If you explained to me, what you want, exactly like you did in your post about being a cheap piece I would have no problem with it. What I heard was (remember I have guy filters in my ears so I often hear it the way I want) when you visit your SD you want: a friend for security, and someone to hang out with when he is busy, and a third for intimacy fun on occasion. But the relationship between you and him is primary.

geeze taylor, sometimes i’m only 95th (spatial stuff, pulleys and the like) … but i didn’t understand how to study so i was never valedictorian…

Taylorsays:

None of us (my good asian friend, my russian friend, or myself) have breasts bigger than a B cup. And a small B at that. Sorry, BOOBLOVER.

And truly, it IS a different thing if I have a female traveling companion along on the trip, who may be interested in joining in on me + SD if things happen to spark very strongly between me and him, than if I flew to him alone and he showed up with another man or a whole slew of men that he then asked me to please. Goodness, I can’t even compare the difference. In my hypothetical scenario, no intimacy of any kind would be *assumed* to take place, it’s just a first meet, but…. would be theoretically possible, if he and I had chemistry and decided to move forward with an arrangement on the spot, and certainly in that case, my friend would love to participate with any intimacy that may occur. In your hypothetical scenario, he’d be showing up with strangers and asking me to open my legs for random people. No waiting for chemistry to occur, nada. If my SD didn’t like my friend, she wouldnt’ join. If I didn’t like him, nothing would happen period. If they like each other more than me, then great, best wishes to them, truly. Plenty of sugar in the world…..

DC SBsays:

Southern – I would say then just consider it a fluke for now. Perhaps he got bombarded with a surprise project due in a couple of days, or is swamped with work, or last minute business trip etc. List could go on forever. I would be optimistic too. If he is non responsive for a reason, heck, his loss – someone else will come along

OCSugarbabysays:

LASB too funny on the hairdresser one! Speaking of skiing, the girls and I are going to Big Bear this weekend. Now snowboarding is a fun workout. I may be old but I love a challenge
ok, seriously getting back to work

Southern ~~ If he is premier, you can still view his login if he has it blocked. IF you add him to your “favorites”…then you can view his last log in day and time.

Hola Taylor,
Put yourself in the overzised Louboutins of the zucarpapa for once.
There was a zucarchika who had a first meet with her zucarpa, but there was another man present. Very scaring.
What about the zucarchika that met with one zucarpa and he introduced her to several other males. It was their pokernight and she is supposed to please every other man. For her it was a bad trip and she ran like hell.
You see the zucarchikas do not like such surprises and neither do zucarAlpha males. Might be bad for their pacemakers.
Send your Russian Rubens chika over and I will play ballalaika and sing for her Moscou By Night, very romantic. She will melt in my warm hands like Galician Tetilla cheese.
Booblover

DC-thanks for the response. I’m not sure if he is or not, he’s premier and logins are blocked. Oh well, otherwise I’ll just remain optimistic!! =)

Catching up on the blog, but wanted to say hello.

I’m so bummed out right now. I called back about that job today (the one I applied for almost 3 weeks ago and finally got called about yesterday) and it’s filled! I’m so bummed it’s ridiculous. I had perfect qualifications for that job and it was a long program too (Feb to Oct) so it would have been perfect!

I’m of european descent (england, ireland, scotland) on my mom’s side, and my father hails from Iran. Persian-American? I guess?

This is so interesting…anyone else want to disclose their heritage?

LASBsays:

Elegant – Hahaha. That’s how I’ve envisioned the meetings, which is why my incentive to join isn’t very high. Yeah, I suck at math too, unless you are asking me to calculate the sale price on something.

ElegantSugarsays:

LASB: No, I don’t attend the meetings. Especially not in our area. NO wine tastings or cool things like that. They take place at libraries located in the seedy part of town and I think everyone brings a box of donut holes and they offer stale coffee. Everyone sits around and discusses things like string theory and politics. Why do that when I can be in the comfort of my home in a very comfortable office seat, wine in hand reading the SUGAR BLOG?! Easy choice. And wow, when you said you were Asian, I was beginning to believe Mensa didn’t even check our test scores and allowed us ‘auto-in’ because of our ethnicity. Kind of like the reason everyone asks me to solve math problems. I SUCK AT MATH. But then I noticed all the others and I highly doubt we are a Sugar Society of all Asians, are we?

Oh, have to get on a phone conf now…will be right back!

LASBsays:

Taylor – I don’t think you said TMI, but that’s just me. I think if you can’t openly share on this blog, then where else can you go? I understand that some of the SDs and SBs want everything to be super proper and “sugary” but I think the blog can just self govern. For instance, people can stir up drama if they want, but then they better be prepared for the backlash. You can disclose your personal details, but just know that there will be people who say “eww” or “TMI” or whatever. At the same time, you will probably get some pretty good feedback.

In any case, I had something similar to what you proposed, but without a sugar arrangement. The guy was originally with me and I brought her in. We had some pretty amazing times. She ended up in an LTR with him and I stepped out. I’m not catty/competitive and I like to come from abundance where “there’s enough to go around.” Just be aware that there’s a risk that they will like each other more. If you can’t handle that, then I don’t recommend it.

Taylorsays:

I’m not only on the 2fer side. I graduated valedictorian myself, am an ivy girl, and have scored in the 99%th percentile on every standardized test I ever took, and have an IQ over 140, as well. Never took a mensa test, though.

But anyway, I just want a travel buddy. Mine is soooooo open minded, I figured any pot SD would be cool with her tagging along. Damn.

LASBsays:

OCSugarbaby – I don’t care that we are shallow here. People associate shallow with fake, but I don’t. We just don’t care about certain things (stupid political nonsense) and happen to be upfront about what others may consider trivial (finding the perfect hairdresser.) But hey, appearances matter, and that’s ok. As an example, since photography/TV/visual media came about, the height of the US President has increased. In fact, Nixon’s loss has often been attributed to him sweating too much on the televised debate.

Like you, working out is not on the top of my fun list. In fact, I am missing fitness boot camp right now b/c I don’t feel like getting dirty today. My friend signed me up b/c she thought I’d enjoy it, but really, when I can get away with being thin and not working out, I won’t work out unless it’s something fun like skiing.

NEOhio SBsays:

Walking back into the sugar bowl room and finding it quite interesting….2fer on one side and Mensa on the other….** scratching my head deciding which side to head to first ***……

LASB ~~ I am also a Mensan !!! Actually attended a few of the international conventions when i happened to be in London…quite interesting if i may add…not all geeks!!

now onto the other side of the room and my 2 cents on the 2fer.

Taylor ~~ I agree with the others…i would not approach upon first meeting at all with another woman in your presence. I do know first hand, men do at times like to mix up the norm and add some variation and playfulness into the picture. ( Past documented survey stated that 87 percent of men have that fantasy of being with 2 women in their life at some point ) Some may want it all the time, others just as an appealing factor to “mix it up a bit”. When a comfort level is developed with SD, all of those ideas and fantasies come out in the open.

DC SBsays:

Hi Southern – I would say it depends. Is he still logging into his account?

Taylorsays:

Nah, she’s not russian, she’s asian. I have a platonic russian goddess looking friend who would like to travel with me, but no chance of anything happening with her + anyone. period. But it would be nice to have the comfort of a friend to join me, and make me feel safer. Doesn’t anyone feel that way, too?

hmm mensa meets, wonder what they do here

Southern Sugarsays:

Hi all! I really love reading this blog and all of your posts. I am a very new SB. So, naturally I have questions. I received an email from a super hot pot SD last week, we progressed to emailing and texting and then a couple of phone calls over the weekend. He was already discussing with me how our meeting would go. He also mentioned being in the company of some very high profile people at his company this week. He hasn’t contacted me in two days and I sent him an email this morning, still no response. We really “clicked” from the beginning, and had great conversations, am I overreacting by assumming he was a fake or either has moved on?

LA SB – the NYC events are cute… they do wine tastings and such… sure tons of geeks and nerds but also tons of TRADERS 😀

and wherever there are traders there is NYC SB …

no i do not trade stocks… seen them manipulated too much through day job to know better

LASB: she is one of the few people who is probably on the top five list of every one who knows who she is. i’m bringing her in next year to do workshops in my studio…
.
as for the brains, the only time i ever tested below 140iq was when the test stopped at 135

Hola,
On the question of where to take your sugar to tea for a first meet.
Many years ago I was out with a zucarchika and we went to a singing pub in the heart of Londres. Great for getting to know each other singing along. And yes she was a knock-out with those melons. Met her at Westminster Abbey where I did some brass rubbing. You see, you make zuckar friends in the most unexpected places.
Taylor, don’t have a threesome on a first meet with an SD, unless she is Russian. Those are absolutely fabulous. I know, for I learned Russian from a bar maid and she looked like a Goddess, just walked out of painting by Rubens. Even a guapa chika from my beloved Gallicia could not hold a candle to her. Chances are that you will lose your SD to her.
Booblover

Taylorsays:

Like I’m gonna tell ya’ll my profile # now! Most of you guys make me feel like a cheap piece of ass for even suggesting to suggest it to pot SDs!

Just kidding, that was said in total smiling, tongue-in-cheek tone, in my head, so I’m not really seriously offended.

I agree, that it’s about how you present it. I’m not suggesting a BOGO kinda thing, per se, just have presented it such that it would be great to have a friend with me for the traveling portion of the getaway, rather than sitting on the flight alone, and if he has stuff to do during our weekend (or longer) together, it would be nice to have someone to hang out with, and as for men I feel chemistry with and choose to be intimate with, I would really enjoy bringing her in on it, since we’re lovers anyway. It’s just hot. If the date with a potential SD goes well and he offers me an arrangement right there, he’d know in advance that it would be one perk I would be able to offer from time to time. She’s more than down with it, not for half the allowance, but just for the opportunity to go on a trip for free, with me, and have everything covered while we’re there. But I also say up front (since I have just now started mentioning this to a few pot SDs) that I’m looking for strong connection between an SD and myself, and I would want some one-on-one time to determine if that exists, and then if it does, she can join in on the fun, but if not, then I don’t have to spend the rest of my visit alone or in an awkward-with-a-guy-I-don’t-click-with scenario.

I think it would be ideal, if I was being flown a few hours away, that he cover the cost of BOTH of us to fly and have our own hotel room, near him. Then he could come and pick up JUST ME for a dinner date, while she goes to a movie or takes a walk or whatnot, and then he won’t even meet this friend of mine unless the relationship seems really dynamite. Even then, there may or may not be any physical intimacy with either of us, unless he is able to warp speed put the arrangement into place on one days’ notice. Any true SD would be ok with me having my own hotel room and even a girlfriend staying with me to hold my hand through the nerves on the trip out and to be there for me in case it all goes south, right? That way she and I can enjoy the following day or two before I Head home, even if there was nada connection between me and the pot SD. Seems so fair. Otherwise, he can just freakin’ come to Helsinki and see me. Right? Do I get an amen? I am TOTALLY up for guys coming here for a first meet dinner date, but usually they don’t wanna. But it makes me nervous to travel to an SD…..

LASBsays:

NYC SB – Do you trade stocks too, or do you just stick to the forex?

LASBsays:

NYC SB – I’m with you. I bet the Donald didn’t pass. Ok, so once you get the membership, is it just to have for bragging rights, or do you make contacts from there? All the guys I’ve met that are in Mensa have been really odd characters. I’m sure there are hot ones, but I haven’t found any yet.

Hahaha, Elegant! You’re too much.
And anyway, I know you’re a triple threat (beauty, brains, personality!). I couldn’t find a word like personality that started with a b… but you know.

LOL @ the Donald… he probably didnt pass the test which is why he thinks its a joke… the test is time sensitive you its nearly impossible to get the answers via google… either way i took it in person 😉

Most SDs get turned on when they find out about that… then I tell them I got a 1590 on my SATs and their eyes light up… it is too funny

NYC Bella – Ask our buddy… hahahaha

LASBsays:

OC – Actually, I don’t do it to impress my friends. It’s more so that I don’t embarrass them. I don’t want to be the one “bringing down the curve,” when we go out. It’s so stupid but that’s the Asian programming (Feeling overly responsible towards others) that I’m still trying to shake.

McRibsSugar – If you are going to air such things, you might consider getting a 20-something page NDA drafted first. Maybe NYGent can put that together for you. I passed the Mensa test they have on the website, but then I didn’t see what the point of joining was. Do you go to the meetings?

Cleo – Pilates brought me back from the dead too. I haven’t kept up with it, but that LBC studio looks pretty promising.

Taylor – LA has SDs looking for two women. I wonder if those guys are fakes, though. As I’ve said before, I’d like the reciprocal. I figure, hey the guys are getting a great deal–they can split the allowance costs. LOL.

OCSugarbabysays:

LASB all my friends run marathons and are about 4-5 years younger than I am. So my desire to show them you can be lazy and still have a killer body is my goal! I hate working out and only do it to show those youngins that a 35 year old can rock it too! I know so LA shallow. But I can freely admit here I am just that.

DC: I’m definitely smart, this I know. I’m an old hag with jagged teeth and boobs to my knees though so hey, at least I have the brains working for me.

ElegantSugarsays:

Cleo – I took the test in person at a testing location, but you can also take it online. There are a list of other qualifying tests as well. But since you can become a member by paying $75 and taking the test online, Donald Trump considers it a joke. Just a little factoid if you ever decide to work for him.

And all the blog girls are 55 on a 10 point scale in my book

i only buy flip flops at payless, otherwise their shoes hurt my feet

taylor: don’t bring her to the first meet unless it’s a weekend away. and then don’t call her a fwb just say you want to bring a friend for while he’s busy with his family/at work and so you feel safer…

that said, some sd’s would love an occasional hot extra girl and some wouldn’t, i’m thinking it’s how you present it
.
elegantsugar: i thought about doing the mensa tests but i haven’t gotten around to it

we should go out for fries and starbucks together

ElegantSugarsays:

Hmmm. Going back to original original blog topic…

I wonder if listing I’m a member of MENSA deter the SD looking for “HOT A$$ DUMB GIRL TO $CREW” from contacting me again. My idea bank (which isn’t always right) tells me I should scan the MENSA certificate and send to him as my photo he is requesting. Thanks, Idea Bank. For saving me once again. I heart you.

SD NEO: BOGO is a Payless Shoe Source promo! See, even us SBs who have had the taste of being spoiled, shop at Payless and we still eat McRibs. 😉

Love you, Cleo. Always enjoy your contributions to the blog. I think you rock!! Yeah, my idea of a diatribe is anothers idea of a nicely written editorial. Ha ha.

Now back to the 2fer situation who would have the PIN code to the ATM??? LOL

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Lisa you are a 10+ in my book !

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

ElegantSugar: BOGO…LOL very funny.

Taylor: If an SD wanted a BOGO would depend on the guy. If you put it in your profile any SD not interested will move on. This may be something better to bring up once you have started communicating with pot SDs. Another question is how much emotional connection do you want with your SD? You may find he likes her more then he likes you. Also, if you offered this to me, my fear would be you are more in to her then me. I would be concerned I was there just to be the ATM for your party. With that said I am going back to my “fake wife” and TXSB, we are having McDs for dinner.

OCSugarbaby: i would sweep floors and sleep on a pallet to study with marie jose. there is ONE teacher in the world i feel that way about other than her but she’s in philadelphia (okay and one elder but she’s nearly ninety… would still sell my life to study from her)

yeah i’m over the drama but i didn’t know what to say and am grateful to gemi for saying something. that said, i think we’re getting into dead horse territory now
.
elegantsugar: well put. i hate to admit how often i agree with tyra banks

as to your comment you reposted. i don’t understand why i never saw it, i swear i read the whole blog after i got home for the weekend (not the earlier stuff though, it’s too much)

that said, if that’s how you diatribe can you send all my venting emails for me? or edit them? lol

ps – re the fries… what you said except the egg mcmuffin is better than the mcrib…
.
photogirl: happy dance!

Gemini29says:

DC – I <3 you.

Its amusing that this is turning into huge ass *blog draamamamalamama* when all I wanted was for the ex-sb bashing to come to an end. I think it is entirely unnecessary to have this ridiculous "he said, she said" bs on the blog. have your arrangements but stop dragging out the dirty laundry after it ends.

IRL – Oh? Polish Girl was a dragging you down? Hm. I thought you ditched her because she wouldn't sleep with you.

But that's ok, I understand, its hard to keep all the stories straight, isn't it?

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Just responding to his post OC. I agree though, let’s put it to rest. Time for a new blog topic perhaps

ElegantSugarsays:

I say NOGO on the BOGO. (Buy one, get one)

If that is his fantasy. Wonderful. Introduce it later when your relationship is close enough to discuss such details. But don’t assume you can just bring your friend to a first date. Some men (believe it or not) LOVE the idea of the fantasy, but would be scared spitless if the situation were presented right in front of them. If that’s what you want to offer, put it on your profile.

ElegantSugarsays:

Photogirl,

You can call me PAPI!!

Better yet….PAPASITO!!

¡Quiero lamer sus zapatos!

Spank me, monkey boy!

¡Besos!

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

IRLSDsays:

Delyn, I have not yet run across a 9 or 10 in my book IRL or on SA. IRL, the girls I dated were all super-geniuses and extremely accomplished. I am attracted to a woman who goes from Princeton undergrad to Harvard grad and who scores a 99th percentile on the MCAT or LSAT or GRE or whatever. That is my type and all my pre-SA girlfriends were like that. My IRL SB was like that–valedictorian, genius, and stunningly beautiful. I haven’t found that on SA–sorry to break the news. So I try to make the best of reality.

I changed my blog name so it would not be in the face of a previous SB. So I am not sure why so many people felt so obligated to make it known that I am the same person. Believe me, I never intended to hurt her or any other SB.

OCSugarbabysays:

Personally I prefer to read the 2fer special that Taylor is asking about. IRLSD and Deyln this topic is yesterday’s news and I was hoping to keep the dirty laundry to a light fluff and fold day here today.
So with that said can we please move on? I only have my 30 minute lunch at MC’y D’s and my drive thru burger to eat and catch up on the blog!

Very good advice Delyn

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

Good afternoon Delyn *427264* formerly DC

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Hey IRLSD-

2 things.

First I agree with what has been said before. For me it was the cocky attitude about everything…the boasting that everyone falls in love with you. You must know that anyone with that kind of attitude is going to irritate a few people. Plus, it was starting to feel that maybe that was only true in relation to your wallet as your pot SBs were all treating you like crap. We get back what we attract.

And your choice of SBs to pursue was depressing to read for some. So many wonderful women on SA but you seemed to pick only ones that were at least a 9 or 10 on your scale…SBs who clearly were not right in the head and you gave them way too many opportunities because of their looks…. Us SBs on the blog have so much to offer and it really annoys us to read that with some SDs it doesn’t matter what else we bring to the table. Of course I am not saying this is just your issue. Many SDs have made that mistake when they choose to give the superficial top priority. You are only human but you at times made yourself sound like God’s gift to us women.

I think what really did it for me was that once I found out who you are it baffled me as to why you would return to the blog to ask for advice….relating your experiences in great detail…KNOWING that your ex SB (who seems like a wonderful person to me) would be reading it and would be hurt by all of it. I am trying to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are clueless rather than cruel or maybe just immature?? You say you are telling us all you are doing . My point is I am not sure that is necessary especially when an ex SB reads the blog. I think maybe a little more compassion and common sense is required here.

Also I hate to see innocent partys get hurt as in your wife and kid. By bragging that you share all your SB experiences with your staff just seems ludicrous to most here

But what do I know, I don’t have an SD currently and am probably old enough to be your mom LOL

IRLSD – Really? Handsome, charming, wealthy men don’t fall out of trees? Even for me? Let me show you my shocked face :O

I’m playing – sorry – sometimes the smart-alek in me has to escape.

IRLSDsays:

As for so many people on the blog disliking me, it’s fine. I am not running a popularity contest, and IRL people like me fine, perhaps a little too well in fact (hence the source of much of my drama). I know I come here to vent and it is true that there is a better story to tell when things are drama-ridden than when they are sailing smoothly.

As for why I date multiple SBs at once, it’s because I’ve not run into the right one lately and when I did have what at the time was the right SB, I was loyal. As for Polish SB, I sacrificed several pots for her, but was not going to waste time when I realized she was going to be a depressing burden as opposed to a cheerful princess in my life. Plus, between our first date and when I broke up with her, I do not remember seeing any other SB. If I’m wrong, please correct me–it would be somewhere on the blog if I did see someone else. As for why I ran through her in a few days, well there is no reason to sacrifice money and put my marriage at risk for someone whom I now know will not make me happy.

Also in my defense is that I have disclosed everything that has gone on in the recent past, and while you sit there wondering what your SD pot is thinking or doing, here I am telling you what I am thinking and doing. It may not be what you like, but it’s reality and you cannot just live in a dream world where handsome, charming, wealthy men fall out of trees for you.

NEOhioSB~That is very inspiring. I think I just got my 2nd wind for seeing pot#5 again.

Photo~Congrats on the job!

Ah well, guess it’s time to get back to work…will check in later.

NEOhio SBsays:

CA and Taylor ~~ Don’t throw in the towel….Trust me..i know that sense of frustration, let down, the highs and highs, the lows and lows of the roller coaster of this whole thing….BUT keep believing in yourself…Again, just as Yaz said yesterday, and Midwest will vouch, patience is soooooo important…yes, its a bitch sometimes, but it is essential in the sugar bowl world. There “are” true, genuine, sincere, caring and wonderful SDs out there…they DO exist….far and few…but…the challenge is finding them.
Keep your head up high…always…and don’t ever stop believing in yourself.

Good news is I got the week and half job I bid on for next month!!!

CA Dreamin SBsays:

NEOhio SB – JUST when I’m ready to throw in the towel someone comes in with a great story to re-inspire me! Thanks

IRLSDsays:

NYC SB, I wouldn’t mind an SB in a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers on the first date one bit. I love casual.

I did cancel my SB first date at the cupcake place today. I’m kind of tired of this whole thing, so I’ll take a break for a few days and then decide whether to go back to sugar dating or to start writing my third book, which should keep me busy for a few years by which time I’ll be too old for this. I know, it’s the first time I’ve poofed on someone, but I told her last night that I was dealing with a blackmailing SB and don’t feel like going on a date.

As for blackmailing SB, I haven’t heard a peep from her. When she said last night that I had more to lose than her, I told her, “Sure, if you don’t mind raising your baby behind bars.” She knows if she says a word she’s going to be in trouble and won’t have the money to have herself bailed out. Funny thing is that if she had said, “I am so sad this is not working out; I am a single mother and was really counting on that allowance this month,” I would have given her money, but when she says, “Either send me 4000 now or I am telling your wife,” no way. Craziest thing is that in the middle of the blackmail she wanted to get back together. I told her that until she blackmailed me that was an option. Anyways, she has practically nothing to tell my wife anyways as she doesn’t know anything about me that is not public knowledge.

Taylorsays:

NEOhio SB, what a great story!!!!!!!!

Taylorsays:

I love the olive garden’s all-you-can-eat salad bowls. Seriously. I wish they had one in Finland.

I took thai take out from a place on my block, and have sauteed/caramelized onions and garlic in olive oil and then added a can of coconut milk and some whole grain rice to use as the basis of this meal instead of the plain white blah rice they give you. Let’s see how it turns out….

Signing out, as the others in my knitting circle are getting irritated at the little progress I’ve made on this afghan….

NEOhio SBsays:

Good afternoon all

Too much drinking on the blog this morning with the ladies and I am wayyyyyyy behind on work…..But have a tad of a wonderful surprise of sugar to share.

SD/BF knows Ill be crunching taxes and “OUR” time will be limited….He knew i was in my home office all day today working and received a call from him to go to my front door…found him standing there holding a vase of roses with a huge smile on his face. He said, im only here for 2 minutes, but need to give you something…pulled out a box from his pocket…told me to read the card first, which read ” Just in appreciation for the great “times” we have spent together.” He handed me the box and in it was a stunning, beautiful Patek Philippe ladies white gold with diamonds watch…my jaw dropped. ( as we had done some schmying a few weeks ago and i mentioned what an incredible watch that was but the $$$ was ridiculous)……So in a nutshell, ladies, there are some great great SDs on this site…BUT patience is sooo impt. as many others have mentioned. I had my share over 5 months of poof, flake, sans panties, etc…but WITH patience the right SD will come into your lives and fill it with wonderful smiles, great moments and lots of sugar. I am truly blessed…so never never give up hope.

NYCBellasays:

NYC SB~Oh, yes….NY Gent is very good with his dining pics. As far as thrift shops, you’ve come to the right place. I costume designed a show a few years ago and learned all the good spots through the 5 boroughs. Cheap Jacks has cute and interesting stuff, but they are anything but cheap. If you want the best thrift store in NYC…BEACON’s CLOSET in Williamsburg. They have a website so you can get the addy, but it’s just the first stop on the L train into Bkln.
Ummmm….Crumbs and Magnolias…I hate this no carb thing…

To the whole Starbucks thing…I like chilling in Starbucks if I’m working on a script, but for a first meet, there are alternative cafes with much more charm (and I’ve known them no matter living in the middle of nowhere SC as well as downtown Manhattan). To me it’s the little things that can either make a good or bad first impression.

Taylorsays:

Well, Delyn, we really are. We are both smart, sassy, hot women who happen to enjoy getting tipsy off of red wine on my couch and getting all up in each other’s business for the rest of the night. last summer I invited this married man I was having an affair with to join us, and that was amazing, those few times we tried it. She likes men, just likes women even more, and her enthusiasm for being with ME turns ME on (even though I swing more the other way, more into men), and that turns the GUY on and everyone is just going crazy.

Sorry that was kinda graphic, wasn’t it? Yes, yes, I’m not a virgin. I’ve even been married once upon a time. Dumped him when I was 28 and very quickly after that discovered this site and have been seeking a SD ever since! But back to my story re: me and hottie asian girlfriend. She and I haven’t had a guy in our picture for months and months and she’s been whining about wanting some adventures, some fun, but no strings attached. When I explained long distance sugar dating (tickets paid, flying to nice hotels, nice nights out, a guy with class) she thought I was making it up and it was too good to be true. She is a well-paid professional and cares nothing about an allowance, but some posh little gifts would be a nice bonus. But really it’s the intimacy with me + a charismatic guy that she’s salivating thinking about. She just doesn’t have the patience to search on the site or on the internet OR IRL in general, and wants me to be the organizer and make things happen. I think I can do that. But then again, I really want a SD who is primarily all about ME, and I about HIM, and her being just kind of an occasional added accessory when I feel like it. God, I’m selfish.

TXSBsays:

CA Dreamin:
Hahaha…will do!

———————————————————-

I’m off to take care of stuff…..TTYL everyone!

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Good morning all!

Taylor wrote: Do men consider a 2-girl package deal a positive or a negative?

…you are kidding me right Taylor LOL. You just described every man’s fantasy. Double the pleasure. But I suppose the other side of the coin could be what if there is double the SB drama? If you and your friend are as nice as you sound then I bet you will have many takers. Good luck!

ElegantSugarsays:

I must admit, as much as I LOATHE McDonald’s and the way the smell of grease stays in your hair for hours, I DO LOVE their fries (crack in a box) and yes, used to be a big fan of the McRib. If anyone ever repeats I said that, I will deny it and make counter-accusations. 😉

TXSB – On second thought – go ahead and meet SDN at McDonalds…but – when he leaves, could you ask him to bring me something for lunch? I’m a little hungry

ElegantSugarsays:

Cleo, darlin, you are cracking me up with your curiosity. And just to be clear, it wasn’t my post this morning that sparked the ‘venting’ comments. But I am sure by my voicing my frustration, it definitely did not add a positive vibe to the blog at all. Since you MUST know and this blog is not the easiest to navigate in terms of keeping up. I have copied/pasted below. You will see, it really was not that bad. Negative tones, nonetheless, which is not my nature. But hey, I am splendidly and horribly imperfect. Just like every other human. Here it is:

——————————————–

I, being a relatively new (2 weeks), yet also a relatively active blogger, can say I fell into the trap of IRLSD’s supposed attempts of seeking advice. There were many times I took the time to respond very genuinely and at least tried to be a sounding board (or devil’s advocate) for seemingly shady and repeated bad situations/choices. Only to get a very rude response back or to be completely ignored. Still, I continued with my attempts at being a genuine voice here; offering what I thought was, at the very least, acknowledgment of another person’s “cry for help.” Learned my lesson. It’s like the mean girl who asks, “Should I wear peep toe or closed toe with this dress?” You respond with, “Peep toe would look fabulous!” She says, “Hmph. What do you know?!”

Be a jerk to me once, shame on you. Be a jerk to me twice, shame on me.

elegant: this is why i do NOT have a bb
.
txsb: makes sense to me!
.
clients, back later!

Taylorsays:

So, I think that IRLSD definitely needs to stay on the blog because his posts are well written and interesting. So that’s all I’ll say on that.

I have seen the married, local pot SD again today because I needed some help with something in my apartment that ended up also costing a lot of money to fix, that he waved his magic wand to make that problem go away. God he is auditioning hard for this role! He says he misses me and thinks about me all the time when we are not hanging out.

But ya’ll are right, stalker-y perhaps. He’s taking me to the museum tomorrow and I don’t see the major harm in that.

What else…. my asian girlfriend wants in on the sugar side of life. But she is more into women than men, specifically ME, so she kinda wants to just join-in to whatever arrangement I might be able to swing, and get a few little side perks, perhaps, but she’s more after the adventure and fun (and chance to see me naked) of it (she’s young, single, horny!) and loves to travel. I was thinking, would SDs like the idea of me bringing my female FWB along on an initial meet? Or prefer to get me alone? What if she came along and kept herself busy for part of the time so the pot SD and I could have a long dinner just the two of us to talk and focus on each other, but that it would make me feel less nervous about potentially having a lot of time to kill if there’s no chemistry, until my flight leaves back home, if I had a pal with me. and then if there’s SUPER chemistry, she would love to perhaps even be part of the arrangement, and could be factored in. Do men consider a 2-girl package deal a positive or a negative?

can someone tell me what time elegant’s ‘diatribe’ was? i read all the posts this morning and it isn’t there, but references to it are…. for me it’s her good morning blueberry yogurt to yaz and then ‘okay i’m finished my diatribe’

very confused

TXSBsays:

Cleo:
Yes, in my opinion, I think that if someone is posting something just to vent and has no interest in receiving “advice”, they should just begin or end the post with “BTW, just venting” or something similar. We can’t read each others minds. And also, the veteran bloggers may be familiar with each others “blog personality” and may know if someone is venting due to knowing the “history”…but we constantly have new bloggers who don’t know the others. So IMO, just to save the time/energy of others who want/try to help, if someone is just venting….that should be included on the post.
—————————————————————-

OC:
Texas always has “funky” weather. Have fun in Austin!

LASBsays:

Elegant – Don’t worry, I made the same nc/ny = nyc mistake for a very very long time, and both were too polite to correct me.

OC – Hahahaha! When I read the “people let themselves go after getting attached” line, I was totally thinking, “really? who?” Cultural differences of the LA bubble we live in. If anything, I see women step it up. Also, many women here aren’t even doing it to impress their man. It’s to impress other women/their friends.

NYC SB – Yes, NY Gent chose a very nice place. Trendy without being cheesy, and I loved every course.

OC or Stephen – Yes, please deliver my address to BeachGirl. Thanks!

Yaz – Congrats on your new SD! That’s awesome news!

ElegantSugarsays:

Cleo: It wasn’t an attack, per se. It was more of a ‘vent’ and my declaration of no longer reading or responding to IRLSD’s posts because I feel HE is rude. I’m over it though. It’s expected to have so many personalities when you’re dealing with the Blogosphere. Who am I to expect someone else to be polite and kind just because I am to them? As Tyra Banks would say, “That’s MY BAD.”

Gee, having this blog on BB is ooooh, dangerous!!

OCSB: cool, let me know if/when you need recommendations… when he can do physio it’s time for some amazing pilates teachers too (the best one in california is marie jose blum laurence at long beach dance conditioning – she has had success REVERSING arthritis in hips. i mean she’s so amazing i dream of being one tenth that good some day!

LASB I just sent you an email with Miss Beach’s addy.
You are so right on the “not doing it for a man” statement. I do it to impress my girlfriends! We all work out together and pig out together!

oh and to be clear? i like BOTH of you.
.
TXSB i like you ‘i’m just venting’ approach, nice to know what you need in advance. my sister has been teaching me to just tell people what i need
.
what attack this morning? i have gone back through this morning’s blog and i still don’t see whatever it is elegant sugar said..

TXSBsays:

SDN:
You have some explaining to do Mr.! 😉
———————————————————————–

OC:
The weather here lately has been nice during the day (sunny in the 60’s/70’s) but tends to get a bit chilly at night (low 50’s). I would recommend bringing closed toed shoes and a light jacket just for the night. (of course, it also depends on your level of tolerance for the cold….being a Texan, I have trouble with anything that’s below 75 degrees!)

OCSugarbabysays:

Thanks TXSB it sounds like the same funky weather that we have been having in Cali. It is just one night. I will have to check my iPhone Urban Spoon app for a fun place to eat. I am not a bbq girl, so this may be a challenge. Oh that sounded so California snotty lol

CA Dreamin SBsays:

OC – Depends on where you’ll be in Texas

OCSugarbabysays:

The lovely city of Austin lol

OCSugarbaby: anytime, feel free to email me for advice or whatever as this continues… it’s a long trip back but worth it. (and i know some great healers in cali when he’s ready)
.
beach: i was away for the weekend in the land that technology forgot
.
LASB: thanks! was trying to up my sophistication level, see if i appeal to a slightly different type
.
Flo: yup, you did, i need to take some more pics

oh man, i would love to hang out with those guys… funny thing, i tried out for the canadian national swim team and i could NEVER do a chin up … but i can climb 5.10+’s (which basically means pulling yourself up by holds the size of sideways cookies…
.
regarding the blog ‘drama’

as far as i can tell an SD and an sb entered into an arrangement. the sb couldn’t understand the concept of discretion and the sd cut his losses. since they both wanted to blog he came back as someone else. up until then it makes sense to me… what doesn’t?

why we’re still hearing about it.

fine, she feels lied to and betrayed and probably was
fine, he feels that she didn’t respect his marriage and tried to control him

here’s the thing

NONE OF US CARE TO KNOW THIS CRAP.

just don’t. and NEITHER of you are blameless because you have both been throwing stones through the blog for weeks. enough already.

Cleo, again I think the idea of a healer down the road would be sooo good for him!

P.S. LMAO now if I had said that I would have gotten my ass kicked!

CA Dreamin SBsays:

TXSB – CLEARLY SDN can’t read. I said I WOULD have told him to go for it, BUT, he had to go and brag to JSO what a “stud” it would make him if I said okay…now I can’t go and let my fake husband think he’s a stud!!! 😛

Elegant Thanks for the tip! I’m excited to go shopping now (as if I wasn’t before!)

TXSBsays:

Re: Venting vs. Seeking Advice
I come here for both. *BUT* if I’m posting something just to vent and don’t really want to hear what others have to say about it….I will usually include in my post that I’m just “ranting” or “venting”. I know that others can’t read my mind and may offer advice to be helpful. So if it’s something I really don’t want advice on, I will usually include that on the post that I’m just venting.

What VA SB said! We are planning another DMV meet up (ps ESB we’re planning another meet up) & not doing it until Gail comes down. *stomps foot*

ElegantSugarsays:

NYC SB and Muse: You two will LOVE Jack’s. I promise!! There are two floors. And everything is authentic vintage, which means can be a little pricey, but some bargains can be found there too.

NYC Gent: You are right about the personal attacks. I should have exercised better manners in my little ‘vent’ this morning. Typically out of character for me to do something like that. I guess I was just annoyed. Just because someone is rude to me, I should not be rude back and I know better. *Making note to think, process and then type next time.

VA SBsays:

Hey Everyone – just catching up on the blog….oh, there are signs of drama and frustration on the blog…Hope it goes away.

IRLSD – we’re all friends here, but good friends are willing and able to call you on the carpet when needed….not to be mean, but to let someone know that maybe they’re coming off the wrong way. I’m sure you’ll find the perfect SB for you…I imagine it’s just difficult for the SBs on the blog to hear some of your stories (which I have no reason to doubt) and how you go through SBs so quickly when many of us are still searching for “one good SD”….Remember, feedback is a gift…..

Hi DC SB – how are you Chica???

GAIL!!!! When are you coming to DC again? OC / Stephan – can you please send Gail my email addres? We want to plan another D/M/V meet when you’re in town and have MDsb join as well….

Muse – I think Elegant gave us a good meeting location for our secret randevouz… come sans panties… then i will buy you a vintage pair :p

NC Gentsays:

Personally, I come to the blog to vent, for the social aspect, and to hear other’s opinions and experiences. Even though many of the styles and opinions differ from mine, I still find them to be interesting. Variety is the spice of life, and I embrace that on the blog too. I see no value in personal attacks on a blog.

Musesays:

I can definitely back up NYC SB on this one. NY Gent has always suggested very classy, fun places I probably wouldn’t have discovered (or found on the street!) on my own.

NYC SB – I am joining you when you go thrift-shopping. I love one-off items whether they’re vintage or samples. I just hate walking down the street and seeing five other people in my exact outfit (unless it’s a jeans, black sweater and boots. Then I’m just asking for it.)

SDN aka McSugar Daddy:
With CA Dreamin’s blessing, I will certainly meet you at McD’s. But you can not restrict my “choices” to the $ menu! 😉
————————————————————-

Lisa:
Glad you’re feeling better!

Taylorsays:

God it took me forever to catch up on 12 hours of blog. But I’m there.

IRLSD, I find you cocky and maybe even sometimes irritating, but most men are….and you sound honest. And you’re entertaining, and that’s what this blog is for me, in addition to advice, and sounding board. So I don’t have a thing against you. Keep posting!

I am sure there is more I would comment on, but I can’t remember! Someone said about vodka and potatoes–yes, a starchy diet will get ya. I didn’t mean to offend anyone about the differences I notice between 25 and 40 year old Russian women–it’s just that at 25 they are the hottest things on the planet, to my eyes, and then at 40 it is such a stark contrast that I kinda wonder what is going on. I think it’s a lifestyle choice of before vs. after marriage. It’s not just Russia in that department–it’s human nature to let yourself go when you’re not ‘on the market’ in any sense.

Anyway I don’t have any sugar news. Would like to go out to dinner tonight and I’m scrambling to think of who would take me out….

OCSugarbabysays:

Taylor I will gladly take you to Olive Garden! LOL
Very nice post to IRLSD. What some posters have a hard time realizing is that some of us post just to vent.
We are not always looking for someone to solve our dilemma.
When I first started blog’ing I had a hard time practicing my most useful rebuttal
“that sucks”, “stupid poser”, “WTF”, “Too Funny” or my all time favorite
“You deserve better”…

On the Letting yourself go factor, I live in LA-LA land no one let’s themselves go! I think it is
a law! Thanks again Taylor for keeping an open sugar heart and mind

Hi NC Gent, social aspect indeed! Shopping tips are the bomb… I have been trying to find a store who sells “sans panties”….

ElegantSugarsays:

Oops. I don’t think that link worked.

Yaz – Aww yay! I’m so so so excited for you!

Gemi – I will take you to Wendy’s… its much nicer than McDonalds… and if you come sans panties I will let you order a frosty 😉

While a lot of millionaires may not eat at the fanciest of fancy restaurants they also know that you are someone who has not experienced the finer things in life and as such they will take you to a nice restaurant. My NYC SD walks around in jeans and a button down… he looks like a regular guy but he always always always takes me to an upscale place for dinner… except that one time we went to watch the game at a bar near the louboutin store…

So Yaz … I agree with you not all millionaires are flashy…. And Gemi I agree with you they should provide for an experience that is above what the “average” bf can provide

NYGent’s SB that would change places – He was taking her to nice places to begin with… she just had her own agenda and felt the need to exert her “power” … we all know that NY Gent always takes his sugar friends to super awesome places… Muse/LASB/NYCBella back me up here?

IRLSD – if you take a girl to a cupcake place do you expect her dressed to the nines? What if she showed up in jeans, tshirt and sneakers… I betcha she wouldn’t get the qualifying score to move up to the next round?

(PS If an SD suggested we meet at crumbs or magnolias I would love it… bc that would mean he has discovered my weakness for sweets)

Regarding the Drama Queen SB #1356986 – the blog soooo called the blackmail!

Elegant – I am just discovering thrift shops… you know of any in NYC?

TLG – Yay! Keeping fingers crossed 

Cali SB – Good luck with the job!

OC – Amen!

James (without an M) – the time warner center has some awesome meeting places… Mo Bar and Per Se are near by 😉

Flo – “ride your winners” … let your winners ride will just never be the same… Freudian slip? I will tell that to NYC SD before I proceed with the ummm riding my winner LMAO!

Hi Muse — I tend to go for the non-chain, Starbucks-knock-offs also — they usually have a lot more charm and variety. Hope all is well with you!

Hi Gail!

Musesays:

photo Men like that are hard to find, sugar or not. I stumbled upon mine accidentally and I’m sure with a lot of patience, you’ll find one too. And it is an amazing experience for everyone involved.

Re: Starbucks – I don’t actually drink coffee on a regular basis but I like Starbucks and other coffee dates. I’ll actually catch up with friends over coffee, although we tend to prefer to cutesy little shops vs starbucks. There is definitely something to be said for low-pressure, casual meet-ups.

Good morning everyone…I don’t want to be rude and by accident leave anyone out…so by EVERYONE…I mean all the LURKERS too.

ElegantSugarsays:

Awwww! I just received the sweeeetest, most articulate, well-written letter from a new member. A REAL LETTER. None of that Textie McGee speak (U R HOT) and no one sentence message (how are u?). BUT A REAL LETTER! Very, very smitten with pot SD coming to visit this week, but until we meet face to face to see what happens and until I am solidly committed, these types of letters are deserving of my attention, indeed. Be back, ladies and gents.

DC SBsays:

NEOhio SBsays:

Elegant ~~ Okay…so now we can justify having a martini toast this morning. To the ladies who need coffee this morning…we add some espresso to the martini….add some godiva liquor and make a wonderful “Espresso Martini” which in fact, is one of my fav. drinks.

You all have my entire liquor cabinet open for your individual tastes and at your disposable for the remainder of the day….as i must must get away from this blog and get some work done.!!

I did not want to get out of bed this morning…sigh. I need more sleep!!

ElegantSugarsays:

Hi, DC SB!!

ElegantSugarsays:

NYC SB: Not real familiar with thrift shops in the city. However, my FAVORITE Vintage Shop is Cheap Jack’s Vintage Clothing located at 303 5th Avenue. Always, always try to make it there when I’m in up that way.

On my last trip, I found some killer aviators and a white dress reminiscent of Jacki-o style. Very classy, yet sexy.

DC SBsays:

Oo pass the peppermint schnapps here too! I just got more coffee only to read you’re making a martini *hmph*
😀

Elegant and Yaz, agree w/ you both. I was rather bitchy in the 2 or 3 responses I did leave him, just because my natural response tends to always be my 1st response and not my sugar coated one (sugar coating only comes out for my SDs) =) and then I started ignoring, because like you Elegant he ignored me.
But I agree with Yaz, maybe being vocal is better than not saying anything at all..?
I’m not sure, coffee is still kicking in. I can’t make any informed decisions right now.

Anna Mollysays:

NEOhio ~ Just pass everything you have….I could use it this morning

ElegantSugarsays:

Yaz: Perhaps you are right and believe me, it really takes A LOT to get me upset or to offend me. But there are many other bloggers here who appreciate the time some of us take to respond to their questions or comment on their situations. There’s no need to be rude. There’s always a kind way to deliver your messages if you disagree with the advice someone has given. And I know nothing of this Blogmance so my feelings on this have not a thing to do with choosing sides or “hearing rumors.” He is just flat out rude and I, for one, don’t appreciate it.

Elegant Sugar ~~ With that wonderful post…im runnin to my liquor cabinet and making that martini…….a cappuccino toast just won’t do!!! **clink clink**

Yazsays:

Elegant~ I think it is not about ignoring his posts but I think it is about telling him that maybe the way he shares his stories here on the blog turn people off.
DC SB is right. He does sound overly cocky instead of confident. Maybe thats what he needs to change…..

Good morning, everyone! Still celebrating Yaz’s good news! Only with a blueberry yogurt and granola; not wine.

DC SBsays:

NE – you’re wayyyy ahead of me then! I need to catch up =)

ElegantSugarsays:

I, being a relatively new (2 weeks), yet also a relatively active blogger, can say I fell into the trap of IRLSD‘s supposed attempts of seeking advice. There were many times I took the time to respond very genuinely and at least tried to be a sounding board (or devil’s advocate) for seemingly shady and repeated bad situations/choices. Only to get a very rude response back or to be completely ignored. Still, I continued with my attempts at being a genuine voice here; offering what I thought was, at the very least, acknowledgment of another person’s “cry for help.” Learned my lesson. It’s like the mean girl who asks, “Should I wear peep toe or closed toe with this dress?” You respond with, “Peep toe would look fabulous!” She says, “Hmph. What do you know?!”

Be a jerk to me once, shame on you. Be a jerk to me twice, shame on me.

NC Gentsays:

and for the record… I would have serious concerns about an SD that suggested low-end chain restaurants, and especially McDonalds.

NEOhio SBsays:

DC SB ~~ mmmmmm love Bailys in my coffee…Ive already done the espresso shots this morning ( i skip the sugar )..now its just the enjoying and sipping of a cappuccino…..And on another note, I love to pick the places as well…usually that transpires after the first meet though.

NEOhio – I tend to slip some Bailey’s in my coffee. Let’s just keep that between you and I (& the blog) though 😉
😀

DC SBsays:

And for Denise – 3 hours, 200 bucks? No way. He is crazy if any girl falls for that. Cheap. Next in line!

DC SBsays:

As for Starbucks, am I the only one who lives at Starbucks for the most part?
Haha.

I also don’t let the SD pick the place, I tend to like to be left the option because I like to surprise the SD with the choice, which hopefully gives him the sense of who I am – maybe a nice Moroccan spot, or a tea bar (also love tea) or wine bar. I usually go somewhere where I have a nice story to tell about why I chose the place and pick out recommendations on the menu I have

Yazsays:

Anna~ Thanks! We need to get together soon! I miss you!!!

NEOhio SBsays:

Good morning everyone !!!

Yaz ~~ Big hugs to you (((HUGS))). Congratulations on finding a true SD to appreciate you for the quality and wonderful gal you are. Although I started the martini toasting yesterday with Gemi…its a bit early for a martini for me this morning…so im holding my Double espresso cappuccino up to you…hoping you have a wonderful, incredible arrangement full of fun, sugar and great times together. **clink**

As far as the Starbucks, McDs, etc meets. I can honestly say, the few SDs i have met, have ALL been at very nice restaurants…not by my mentioning of such, but their choice. I can see however, the choice of meeting for coffee first…it is an easy escape and short visit if it isn’t going to pan out to anything more. However, McDs??? No way, shape or form would i ever meet a pot SD there…sorry.

Must catch up on the postings from last nite before i say anything else.

DC SBsays:

First – IRL SD I will admit I’m one of (I guess now) many who typically skim over your posts ..
I haven’t been on the blogs long enough to know about your ex Blog SD or you for that matter, but from reading your posts alone I gather my opinion of you.
Having said that, I think the manner in which you present yourself and your situations with your SBs turns off some of the bloggers on the site. For myself, you present an air of cockiness. There is a fine line between cocky and confident, and you’re definitely on the cocky side.
That aside, you make some really stupid decisions. And I think that is the main reason people kind of gave up with giving you advice. 30 minute SB? Seriously. Polish girl – another wth? “Ignoring” SBs, saying you’ll pay more for exclusivity when you’re usually not exclusive, or gossiping in the office, calling SBs pieces of ass, constantly checking on your pot SBs profiles and if they don’t stop logging in, neither do you- It’s all very childish honestly.
Anyway, I wish you nothing but the best, honestly. But I do think you need to hear how other people feel, in order to really “get it” – because you don’t.

K let me get on with commenting.

NC Gentsays:

Congratulations Yaz — I knew you would find a great SD eventually! Great SB for a great SD!

NC Gentsays:

Good morning all!

Denise — sorry about your bad experiences. I think even $300 was too little for your time and effort though.

Regarding first meeting at Starbucks, I usually offer a potential SB choices — coffee, nice lunch or nice dinner. I estimate that half choose the coffee option (Starbucks or equivalent choice) followed by the nice lunch option and lastly a nice dinner. It is easy to end a coffee date in a few minutes if it isn’t going well, and it requires a lot less preparation than a fancy dinner. I prefer coffee for a first date, but I have no problem hosting any option. Maybe I just go for more casual SBs.

Yazsays:

Oops I meant “even if” instead of “even tho”

I need coffee LOL

Yazsays:

Morning Y’all!

Hi Anna!

I just caught up with all the comments and I just wanted to add my 2 cents..

IRLD~ When you first came on the blog and started sharing your stories ( especially the one about Polish Girl), I, for one, encouraged you to pursue her and help her out. I offered you some advice on how to best approach her ( having been in her shoes myself). However, once you started pursuing multiple other SBs even after assuring us that you were head over heels for Polish Girl, I totally lost you. From that point on, I decided to just stop commenting on the whole thing. I thought it was better for me to just keep my mouth shut than try to judge your actions.
Also, concerning you ex-blog-SB spreading spreading lies about you; I just wanted to ask you this. Did you not even ONCE told stories about her just to make her look bad??? Did you not try here on the blog to make her and other ex-SBs look like a bad SBs? It seemed to me like you were just the perfect SD and they all ruined their chances one after the other…..
There is always two sides of a story. Even tho, your ex-blog-SB is THAT bad and is spreading lies about you, I doubt you just SAT there and just let her do that. When two people get out of a relationship that has been somewhat public they each try to put the blame on the other. No one wants to look like the bad guy.
Anyways, maybe, thats the reason why I avoid blog romances all together….

No one will ban you ( or your ex SB for that matter) from the blog. Everyone here is welcome to post whatever they feel like posting.

Anna Mollysays:

Good Morning Everyone!!

sb-emysays:

haha, i think he sensed my disinterest today – but it’s reassuring he finds me “cuter in person”, and a nice change from the models he’s been dating who eat lettuce leaves and snort coke all day? Apparently the task of ”teaching me how to give amazing blow jobs” is on the agenda.

I know this guy sounds ridiculous, and the most unbelievable sugar daddy, with part of me expecting a joke – but he’s actually the most hilarious and talkative character. Perhaps I need more older mentors in my life,..but i’m worried i may become attached!

sb-emysays:

i’ve decided to agree to an arrangement with a high profile businessman in Sydney and abroad. He’s shown keen interest in wanting to “corrupt an innocent girl” like me (rather than using escort services), and is very upfront about what he likes, sexually. other than that, he is also looking to take me fine dining, and enjoys the fact that i do not accessorise (low maintenance apparently).

he is friends with the PM and I find him oddly compelling. The allowance is 1k a week, and I find it irritating that he makes comments about my private life, boyfriend and family as if it were his to judge.

he does travel alot, and having returned from london – he has kept mistresses since age 25 and during his marriage/kids..

i’ve had 30 minutes of sleep all day, and all i wanted to do was nap on his couch to be honest.

NYCBellasays:

Morning (very early morning) Sugars! I can’t sleep, so I thought I’d catch up on the blog.

Denise~I agree with LASB…NEXT! Esp, #2! Look back thru the blogs as there was a great discussion within the last 2 weeks about pay-per-meet arrangements (which mimic escort setups and most are opposed to), I think the consensus is monthly allowance paid upfront (in whatever medium you both agree on-cash, direct deposit, wired private account, cast to saftey deposit box, etc…) after several dates and an arrangement has been made. Also, I’m sorry and hope you aren’t offended, but craigslist hookers make more $$$ in an hour than you were offering for 3 hours of your time. Also, from what I’ve learned on the blog. Test drives (i.e. sleeping with the guy before an arrangement is made) are a bad idea.

I missed so much yesterday…too much to catch up on all and comment on it all, but here’s wishing everyone the best the sugar world can be.

Just like the sun rising, a new day can be filled with unlimited possibilities and hope for the dreams we’ve dreamt to make themselves our realities.

Cheers!

IRLSD — Now that I think more about your story, I really feel bad for the poor guy with the wrong number. His wife is probably freaking livid! Obviously nothing is going on there with the SB, but all it takes is the seed planted. She pretty much destroyed this poor guy’s life b/c his wife will probably be all over his business now! haha Poor guy!

Denise — I live in the valley too.. unfortunately!

LASBsays:

Denise – Oh, very cool that you are a SoCal sugar. Seems that the West Coast blog community is growing. Please feel free to contact me off the blog if you’d like to exchange notes.
OC – Please pass my email to Denise, should she wish to email me. Thanks!

Denisesays:

Thanks guys! I was starting to think it was me doing something wrong! I had great emails from all 3 of them! They would send pics and share their historys…everything! Now I’m back to square 1. Ugh. I just want to find one decent guy (under 55) who I can see once a week and isn’t a total cheapskate! Suger Daddies who are reading this and who fit that bill, contact me!! LOLOL! Of course, you should live close to the S.F. Valley area…just sayin’ Goodnight all and thank you!!!

LASBsays:

P/S Scroll up (or do a word search) to see what the HOF (Hall of Fame)/Wall of Shame SDs are about, and really, you will feel much better about what you’ve seen.
P/P/S Follow your gut and don’t ever get so desperate that you fall for the bullsh*t that some of these guys will feed you.

LASBsays:

Welcome Denise – Yes, you sound like a newbie! Ok, not because you made any mistakes, but because you are still surprised at the shenanigans of this site. Get rid of all three of these knuckleheads (Especially #2 who is cheap, clueless, and really just looking for a cheap escort) and keep looking. Hang out on the blog long enough, and you’ll see that 1. you are not alone and 2. it could have been much worse. Eventually, your prince/king/real SD will come along, and you will be ready. Don’t lose hope.

Denisesays:

Hello everyone! Newbie here! Fairly recently joined. I will try to condense this but I really need some questions answered by you more experienced sugar babies here! I’ll state facts! Thanks!

I’m late 30’s, quite attractive. Sent some inquirys to interesting sugar daddies. Got 3 responses. First guy, married and lived very close to me. Emailed back and forth several times. He sent pics and details of a very busy lifestyle. After suddenly not hearing back after my last email, I tried emailing again. Finally after another 2 weeks, he tells me that he decided to work on his marriage and if it doesn’t work, he will seek a traditional dating site. 2nd guy, single and lived about an hour away. Met for an early dinner at a mid/high class restaurant…I drove to see him and paid $7.00 for parking. Guy was nice, shorter and not as attractive as his profile but “do-able”. He wanted to make plans for the next week. As we walked out of the restaurant, he had to talk to everyone from the front reservation guy to the guys who parked the cars. He had “valet’d” his. He was showing me off and it felt weird. He never offered to pay for my gas money getting there or pay for my garage parking. He didn’t even offer to drive me to get my car which was almost 2 blocks away due to his terrible directions. I got tired of standing at the curb with him and gave him a hug, thanked him for lunch and said I was going to my car. He texted the next day to make plans. Well, because of work constrictions, I had to make the plans for this week instead. I texted him my availability (we have done the phone thing a few times also but usually my kids are around so I can’t always). He said that would be good but that he wanted to do something more “sensual”. I asked what he had in mind. He texted “room service”. I then told him that we needed to have a conversation about compensation…since we didn’t discuss anything like that during lunch. He said: “Per meet-up?” and I said yes. He said “about 3 hours?” I said that would be fine. He then said “$200”. I texted that since I was driving an hour to see him, I would need about $300 for 3 hours of my time….I couldn’t take less. Well, that was the last I heard of him! No more texts or calls. THEN, to add insult to injury, the 3rd guy who had contacted me (and who was relatively decent looking and more my type) and who started out emailing me but slacked off after the initial couple of emails…but still sounded interested, tells me he’s been called to duty in Haiti helping the military (national guard?)…and doesn’t see us getting together to meet anytime soon. ????? I’m ready to just give up!! Did I make all the mistakes? HELP! Thank you!

IRLSDsays:

Cali SB, thanks so much for the invite but I don’t think I’d have a good excuse for my wife.

OC, thank you, you’ve always been supportive from the beginning. You’ve also advised me well when I’ve made mistakes on the blog or in life. I’ve always appreciated it.

James, thank you as well. And yes, she wants to blackmail me as well, but the only number she has for my wife is the wrong number of this poor guy who is totally innocent. That might waste her time for a bit assuming she really wants to go ahead with it, and then she’ll be back texting me for money.

And Delyn, you’re absolutely right.

Flo Rida, not a gas trader, but I’ve done some commodity options on the side.

Flo Ridasays:

Looks like I missed a lot of drama! I got the preview in the morning, but missed the main event. Damn I wish I had popcorn.

OC do you have a blog crush on James and IRLSD?

Cleo – methinks I also mentioned the background statement that Gemi mentioned. Any photographer or model would mention that. i’ve had many pilots and special forces lads tell me about SERE or UK E&E, I also love stories from hell week in Seal training or winter or summer Selection for Ranger or SAS. I would cry for mama – also I donlt have the upper body strength to do x chin ups (going all the way down is tough – I can do maybe 2-3) I can do situps and push ups and squats and burpees and run but not chin ups. I also love Man vs Wild.

IRLSD – you must be a natural gas trader? early 30s, SB discussions at work, millionaire, options trader – you must work for an active trading org as opposed to a hedging or scheduling-nominations org. Trading is brutal on the body and mind and I can see how SBs and maybe drugs relieve the stress. You must know that the lessons of trading are ‘cut your losses early’ ‘ride your winners’ and ‘when in doubt don’t trade’ and this spills over to your SB philosophy. you need a LOT of therapy, also be careful if stress manifests itself through lack of sleep, chest pain, heart palpitations. i’m trying to help but if you prefer I will cease & desist.

also to answer your question – you’ve never been banned because the blog gods favor SDs as SBs outnumber the SDs.

Still working hard at Hertz!

LASBsays:

Hi Beach! Yes, please feel free to email me. Not sure what’s happening with the LA meet. OC might know if Dessert is still arranging it or what is happening. Maybe she can email you/us off the blog.
Yes, I had a great trip. It was so nice to get out of the endless rain. We must be headed towards some weird global warming pattern, as why else would an Angeleno, in the middle of winter, have to venture to NYC to get some sun? The icing on my NYC cake was when NYGent warmly accepted my open invite for drinks, and then proceeded to arrange a very nice impromptu dinner with three of NYC’s sexiest SBs and me.

LASB~ hi , welcome back to LA! hope you had a great trip in NYC!
I was wondering if we could exchange emails for the meet. I cannot get a hold of Desert Bunny at all… not sure what is happening!

LASBsays:

NYGent – Eating at those places on a cross country trip is easier said than done. After you do it for a few days, you start dreading/skipping meals. On my trip, I learned that every single dish on the Outback Steakhouse menu tastes exactly the same. So I switched to the second best horrible middle America chain, Applebees, and it just went downhill from there. Luckily, Denver had a Wholefoods, and I stocked enough organics to get me to the next big city.

That being said, I’m fine with the Starbucks date. (I won’t do McD because I hate the smell of the place and HATE my hair smelling of the place!) My favorite pot so far met me at the Coffee Bean (LA’s version of Starbucks) and he showed up wearing sweats. (!!!) I called him out on it, and he was like “so what? I like sweats,” because he was THAT comfortable in his skin. He invited me to lunch on the spot before we even got in line for coffee, and we walked to a very casual place where we had inexpensive lunches as we sat and talked for a while. He had a great vibe for sure. He invited me to his house for the second date and it was anything but casual. It was one of those 90210, hillside palaces. I never judge a book by it’s cover, and this guy further validated why it’s not good to.

Uncommon – I’m with you. I refuse to date anyone I don’t like first, and if I never find the right SD than so be it. I don’t care how much they offer. I have to like and respect him.

Cleo – I love your pics!

Cali – Just got here and have been trying to catch up on all the posts. It seems to be going faster these days. Are you still around?

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Hi OC! I’m trying LOL

Going to bed now, good night every one. …

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

IRLSD wrote: “As for how the wrong number came about, her cell phone fell into the tub,…….

…….IRLSD- I think you come to the blog seeking advice. It just pains most of us to see you make the same mistake over and over again. These SBs that you choose are basically waving red flags all over the place. The one who is now threatening blackmail is the 30 minute SB right? The 30 minutes deal was a red flag in itself and we tried to warn you. The whole Polish girl chapter sounded like a disaster waiting to happen to most reading the blog. It’s your life and if you want to learn your lessons the hard way that is your perogative. If you were single…well then you will only mess up your own life. But it sounds like you want to keep your marriage intact and not hurt your wife and child but then your actions are very haphazard and confusing.

Everyone is just being honest with you…trying to figure out what you are trying to accomplish and most of the advice has been very thoughtful I think.

carbo loading at it’s best/worst… thank god they don’t have them here!

Beach_Girlsays:

OC~ Thank you … so much girl…Sweet Sugar dreams!
Talk to you soon

James i’m lying in bed with my laptop on my lap and have NO excuse for being awake… but i am.

i have malls near me but they are underground and in the basements of office buildings… there are rows of stores along the streets, most of which i can’t afford (i can walk to chanel and holts and the four seasons and tiffany and calvin klein and and and) but it doesn’t feel like going to a mall because it’s a seamless combination of indoor and outdoor streets that are lined with shops.

that said, i don’t care where we meet. the richest man i ever went on a date with (dammit before i knew what sd was) met me in a basement pub that he liked because it reminded him of london (and i suggested it)

it dosen’t matter, it’s just a place to shake hands and look for a sparkle in their eye…

OCSugarbabysays:

Oh Cleo, before I forget! Your words of being patient with him were just what I needed to hear. Yes his trama of the accident will take quite a while to over come. Rehab is going well but it is tough on him. However he is still the same kind and gentle man he was before the accident. Thank you for giving me that perspective. You are the sweetest sugar ever for sharing your wisdom with me… 😉

photogirl: i know… there is something about people who love being in front of cameras and people who love being behind them.

i’m funny, behind for video, in front for still…

Jamessays:

Hey guys, writing on the plane — can’t sleep on planes.

I’m with OCSB on the blog tension. IRLSD, you are indeed a character, but I mean that in the absolute best possible way. Your point of view adds a lot to the collection of perspectives shared here. Sometimes I think the gals lose sight of how rare it is to have a man such as you open up like you do on these intimate and socially awkward subjects. And you certainly contribute to the pool of crazy stories. Whatever happened off the blog is off the blog and should stay behind closed doors, IMHO. None of my business that’s for sure.

I was blackmailed once by a young woman on this site, and it was very scary. We met once for dinner, discussed an arrangement in general terms, made plans to meet again, she claimed we had a contract which I breached by not paying her a full month the next day, and threatened to tell the world. She knew what she was doing, down to asking for a written settlement agreement with a clause saying it wasn’t blackmail. Once I realized she was psycho I just jumped every hoop to placate her and she did go away, thank goodness.

My two cents on meeting places — there are lots of towns where Starbucks is the classiest cafe in town, and there are plenty of places where Olive Garden is the best Italian restaurant. It’s all situational. Personally, I’m real glad I moved to the big city. The closest thing we have in my neighborhood to a mall is the Time Warner Center, and that’s fine by me.

Beach_Girlsays:

UncommonSB~Yes I think so… you should mail me

OC or Stephan could you send my email to UncommonSB Please!!! Thank you

OCSugarbabysays:

Hi Beach! Yep I will shoot the email off now.
Nighty Night all, I got my butt kicked (tired from work deadlines) today at the office. I am soooo exausted. I sure could use some TLSL (tender loving sugar love)…
Hmmm he is just as addictive as the blog!

It’s a definite maybe! I think I can go, as long as nothing comes up with work. The flight to LA is short and cheap, but I’d still have to figure out lodging. Is it still planned for the 25th?

Beach_Girlsays:

UncommonSB~ did you say you were going to the LA meet?

ElegantSugarsays:

Hi Beach_Girl!

Yes, we have our ups and downs here and we definitely have our share of intense personalities (I know I am intense), but all in all, it’s a fun sugary place! A place where we can share and vent with others who might not be the same as we are, individually as people, who might not agree with our decisions or approaches with things, but we all share this one thing for certain: The commonality of choosing to live in a Sugar World.

And to that, I think I must call it a night…singing…”I am living in a Sugar World…and I am Sugar Girl…” (tune to Madonna’s Material Girl)

GAWD. I love this place. How did I survive before the Sugar Blog??? I can’t even peel myself away to go to bed! Uncommon…I am laughing so hard at your conspiracy theory comment! Oh, gotta love it.

ElegantSugarsays:

or better yet…spot the BUTTER in our town! Ha ha ha ha!!!!

UncommonSBsays:

Hehe. More funny emails.

Yep, my conspiracy theory is making more and more sense each day. I think there must be some secret massive wave of deinstitutionalization going right now to cut costs, because the crazies are starting to outnumber the mentally stable.

photogirl i would totally give you pilates in exhange!

ElegantSugarsays:

Photogirl: Sorry to hear about your family member. You have my number…please, please, PLEASE include me as someone you have in the area as a support system! Call me ANY TIME…DAY or NIGHT. I mean that with every ounce of my Being. Don’t be shy with me, girl!! I will drag your pretty butt out again and play a game of “Spot the Wizard of Oz characters in our town.”

gemini i cannot comprehend how you are still on the market so i guess that makes two of us! thanks though
.
would you look at that, sleep just hit like a sack of hammers… nighters

photogirlsays:

Cleo – If I were in your area I would so come over and do photos for you!

elegant sugar: thanks. i keep meaning to tweak it based on the advice in nyc sb’s blog and flo rida’s comment that ny gent reposted… but i haven’t yet
.
gemini: yeah i have a friend i’m trying to get to come over and take photos of me working out. he gets the light in my place…

photogirlsays:

Midwest – I completely agree with you about the shyness… I am working on it! I have no problem with being more outgoing/flirty in emails… it is just that initial first in person meet I need to work on! Of course the amount of talking/emailing prior to meeting also makes a difference to how I am in the first meet… all about my comfort level at that point I suppose.
I can totally see JSO in that caddy as well.. haha!
As for your email question… that would be a big YES!!!

ESB – I know what you mean… I’ve turned down many opportunities for the same exact reason!

JSO – *blush* Thank you! I am not getting down on myself… just want to make sure I am not kidding myself as to whether or not I am SB material.

NYGent – Now I am wondering if I would get kicked out of bed for eating crackers. 😛 Yes, I do recall your posts about preferring the less experienced SB… one of the many reasons I’ve always thought any SB would fortunate to have you as a SD

Elegant – As I said to Muse… that is the kind of SD I’d like to have! I cannot be anyone BUT me Ohhh yes… please show me the thrift stores!! I’d love to go to the party with you, BUT I am in the middle of trying to figure out if I can get away to meet a pot this weekend. Unfortunately I have a feeling I won’t be able to make it work as we have a very sick family member who is hanging onto his last days. I will let you know in the next couple of days. Getting out would do me some good about now!

James.m – You are very sweet… thank you! Your SB is very fortunate to have you I must add… You two are absolutely adorable together!

elegant sugar: pilates is like crack for your body… AND it’s good for you…

darnit i love that body shot but you guys are right

Gemini29says:

Cleo – You could always maybe play around with a digital camera on “sports mode” and a self-timer and see what pictures you come up with, lol. It could tie in really well with your pilates/bendy/stretchy theme

it’s more that there are ‘moves’ than positions. i teach movement but there is always a beginning and an end. generally a static moment in one or more places…
.
cali that’s actually the original…
.

ElegantSugarsays:

Cleo:

Photo 1: Very elegant and classy.

Photo 3: Fun and playful.

Do you have a sexy/flirty photo to replace photo 2 with? And I mean tastefully sexy, of course. Seems like that was what you were intending with the body shot, but I agree with Gemi, the black dress gets lost with the black background.

Okay, well since I can’t get a pot date to save my life, I just got an IRL date for the Hollywood premiere of that new Mel Gibson movie tomorrow night (Edge of Darkness I think?). Better than nothing!

BTW, I do love the third pic though, so keep it if you don’t have the original.

Cleo — I love the first pic. The second pic is great too (you have a great body!) I just wish the background or shirt were a different color so you could contrast better. The third pic I don’t necessarily like how the photoshoppy effect makes you look. Some of the way it shadows on your face aren’t as flattering as I’m sure the original picture is. Do you have the original? I think it would be fab!

Okay, seriously, makeup now.

Gemini29says:

Cleo- A suggestion….. maybe a picture of you in one of your pilates poses? ( I know jack about pilates…are there “positions”??) This would show your body, wouldn’t be overtly sexual, but still let them know that you have a nice body and are in shape, etc etc etc

I think I may have missed some part of the conversation.. don’t know how blog banning came up. I know that blackmail is illegal, but I meant more of would the police actually do anything about it? I think you’re better off just telling the girl that you wish to not see her again and what she said constitutes blackmail and she should keep that in mind.

IRLSD, you should come to the CA meet. There will probably be about a dozen blog SB’s there, maybe you could find a sane SB for once. Plus, as far as I know there is only 1 or 2 other SD’s going so you can entertain us with your stories!

Okay, off to do my makeup!

Gemini29says:

*I will take the high road, I will take the high road, I will take the high road*

And then Cleo made it easy… 😀

Darling, you are so exotic-looking! Love the first and last picture, not quite digging the middle pic…against the black background your body is kind of lost. LOVE the last picture…I think its perfection! 😀

so i got a few opinions about my new pics… anyone else? i wanted to change the vibe a little…

IRLSDsays:

“Blackmail is the crime of threatening to reveal substantially true information about a person to the public, a family member, or associates unless a demand made upon the victim is met. This information is usually of an embarrassing, socially damaging, and/or criminally incriminating nature. As the information is substantially true, the act of revealing the information may not be criminal in its own right nor amount to a civil law defamation; the crime is making demands in exchange for withholding it… Taking hostile action directly does not constitute blackmail, regardless of the legality of the action. For instance, telling a man’s wife that he has committed adultery is legal, even if the man would rather pay money than have his wife learn of his adultery. Blackmail consists of making demands in exchange for not taking the action.” –wikipedia

so yes, it’s illegal.

OCSugarbabysays:

IRLSD I see it has been a tough day on the blog. Tension is high and I wish it weren’t.
Sugar dating is not a private club but a secret we boldly share.
I enjoy your posts and hope you continue. Which is what I feel towards all who blog.

I wish I had the right words to say tonight to make it all better but this is not my place to
get involved. I do hate seeing it all unfold and I know that even commenting may bring
it’s own backlash.Find a way to make peace, please.

OCSugarbabysays:

Midwest I have shared your email with ElegantSugar as you requested

IRLSDsays:

Yes Gemini, you’re right. I wish someone would just ban me from the blog. Given my overly i-don’t-know-what-to-call-it take on sugar dating, I’m surpried I’ve never been banned. But what is your solution? To block out one sugar relationship from my blog posts? OK, I’ll try harder to do that (believe me, I’ve tried). I know that half the bloggers ignore me completely because of behind-the-scenes blog drama directed against me, and it’s fine. I come here to express myself and sometimes to vent. Some people find it amusing/interesting and a number of people have expressed that on and off the blog. I do not try to put anyone down personally, so I don’t understand the insistence of some bloggers in revealing the identity of my ex-SB. As you can tell, I did not leave her for another SB and I was not cheating on her with another SB, so the beginning, middle, and end of it all had to do with the relationship itself and its ramifications in my life. She accuses me of being a liar on the blog, but I think my overly honest blog posts speak for themselves. I don’t portray myself as anything I am not. I am a complex and multi-faceted person and I think the good, the bad, and the ugly all come out here for everyone to see and judge for themselves. If I stink like drama, avoid me and don’t read my posts. But if anyone is interested in hearing about my experiences, here I am. I don’t know if I’m realistic, idealistic, optimistic, or pessimistic–it’s a combination of all these i suppose–but I did have one wonderful IRL SB relationship so I know the magic can happen again.

JSO – I’m off to bed too!

Everyone else- Goodnighten!

Time for a hot bath. Leaving my phone in here on my desk.

Is it possible to arrest someone for blackmail in that case? I’m not familiar with the law, so just wondering. Also, that may possibly be the dumbest SB I’ve ever heard of (dropping a phone in the tub, mixing up numbers, blackmail, etc). I sincerely hope you didn’t find her on here. lol

IRLSD — haha That probably makes for a better work environment too! Not listening to work drama and the other employees have your stories to look forward to when they come to work. I totally agree with you on what you’re looking for — that’s why I haven’t gone on any pot dates yet. I feel like most of the pot’s who have contacted me look at it as simply a $$$ for sex exchange (or the total opposite and want a LTR) and I want more than that. I want a connection, the true joy of being around the person (not just doing it because I’m getting paid), and something that is drama-free no-strings (I actually prefer married SD’s just so it decreases the risk of strings) and hopefully something that isn’t just a month or two. Basically I want what some of the lovely blog SB’s have!

IRLSDsays:

So does this SB think that if she actually blackmails me and tells my wife, I wouldn’t have her arrested for blackmail? Also, I think what keeps sugar relationships secret at the end is that most SBs don’t want their families and friends to know about this either. Sure there is stigma to being an SD, but a father finding out that his daughter is sleeping with older married men for money is just not cool. In fact, it is worse than a wife finding out about her husband’s infidelities.

OC/Stephan – Could you please share my e-mail with Elegant?

I’ love a good book

Gemi – hear, hear

Really, really , really off to bed!

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Hey Cali SB-

I know what you mean. I have had a few SA SDs turn into poof daddys as well. No different at this site from the regular dating sites. It’s never a good feeling.

One I still remember from about 6 months ago. I think we would have been a great match, we were set to meet and he canceled on me that morning and would not return e-mails after that. I could see if we had met and he didn’t like me but what really hurt was the fact that he would not acknowledge me at all. He just dismissed me so to speak…and the guy had sold his company for billions so he sure as hell didn’t lose any sleep over it.

That’s great about the job….hope you get it!! Good luck!

IRLSDsays:

As for how the wrong number came about, her cell phone fell into the tub, so she wrote the number on the palm of her hand and called me from a payphone. I never got the call and when we met Friday I told her I never got her call. Then she got her phone and sent some texts to the wrong number first before she checked the number and starting texting me.

Good night, Midwest!!

Yes, saw your response and started to write something really long, but think I reached my novel writing quota for the blog in one day already. Ha ha!

IRLSD — I’m interested in what the ramifications of dating a blog SB are? Might give me some things to think about with having my profile linked here or not. Although I have mentioned not going on any pot dates yet or when I was supposed to have a pot call, I would never give details of my pot dates on the blog. I may ask theoretical questions, but when I have an arrangement I expect it to be discreet on both ends, no matter how much I enjoy this blog and the people on it!

IRLSDsays:

Cali SB, my stories are all true. I can’t think of one SB story I have posted that was not what I personally experienced. At work, we’ve pretty much ended all work gossip–SB gossip is so much better. Just yesterday we were talking about some work gossip for 2 minutes and then I said, “You know, a few months ago we would have talked about this for days, but since my SBs, we have much better gossip than this,” and everyone agreed. SBs have provided me with truly astonishing stories. As entertaining as it can be, I just want one person whom I really like and find attractive physically and personality-wise who can have a mutual sugar relationship with me, not someone who uses me like an ATM and not someone who treats me like her husband, trying to change me and making super long-term plans.

You guys are seriously cracking me up! “…dude don’t got no brains anyhow! Hmmph! What a great movie!

Gemini29says:

Oops, sorry..

JSO wants me to wear the frilly apron and high heels!, my bad!

IRLSDsays:

VA SB, I know, I know. I do meet lots of crazies. But I dated a blog SB once and it has its problems too. Your whole relationship broadcast minute-by-minute on the blog, having to listen to endless blog drama when for once I’m actually not on the blog because I am with my SB, and when things end, having your SB spread lies on the blog and behind the blog, especially to those she knows you like. There are other issues with being with a blog SB but I would not mention them on the blog, lol.

I was warned at the onset of my blogmance by one prominent blogger who has always been supportive about the ramifications of dating a blog SB, but being the idiot that I am, I ignored the good advice and fell into every trap she had warned me about.

Delyn — The search isn’t really on the front-burner so to speak. I, like you, come here mainly for the blog and then I will log in and out from time to time while I am on the blog to bring myself higher in the “recent login” search, just incase. I have only done a search of CA a few times, maybe like 3 times have I sent out messages to pot’s, but those generally don’t go anywhere or end up not wanting a true arrangement. Basically I just wait for pot’s to find me, but the “pond” is big so the fishing ain’t easy! 😉 I’m not frustrated from looking so hard/much, I get disheartened because I’ve had a few pot’s find me that seem so great and then just vanish. C’est la vie!

BTW.. YAY me! I FINALLY got a call about a job I applied for on Jan 8. I literally applied 20 minutes after it was posted on CL and finally got a call. Have to call back tomorrow, hopefully to set up an interview. I have the experience they’re looking for and it’s a long-term program (Feb to Oct) so it would be AWESOME if I got it. Especially if I was able to get back into the autoshow circuit this coming season, because it would start around October. Come on planets, align for me!!

Cali and Uncommon – Delyn is absolutely on target here. Many take breaks from the searches when it starts to dominate your thoughtsl We all need to recharge batteries at times.

Midwest — That’s a good point! Thank you.

Uncommon — I couldn’t have said it better myself!

IRLSD — I hope you don’t think I was being sarcastic — I mean, I am a very sarcastic person by nature, but I was being serious about the blog thing. Even if your stories are total crap, which I don’t think they are, it would still prove to be very entertaining reading! But wow.. I’m nearly speechless about the rest of the story. So she was dumb enough to write a number down wrong (I assume she was copying it from online so she wrote down something wrong that she SAW? Cause if she was told the number over the phone she would already have the number from the call, right?) and not realize that she wasn’t getting replies from that number? And then not realizing that when you contacted her it wasn’t the same number (obviously she didn’t save it?)? That seems really bizarre. But you’re right, better to find out now she’s a blackmailing biatch now than later and it gives you every reason to end it (since that’s what you wanted anyway) and now she has no one to blame but herself. Maybe we can add her to our “Hall of Famers”. haha

Gemini29says:

Muse- It happens all the time, I tell ya.

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Hey Gail! How you doing girl?

Some of the drama from the SDs brought me out of lurk mode. Like watching a train wreck. Funny how some people attract the worst of the worst out there.

Cali SB- maybe put your SD search on the back burner and just live your life. I get frustrated as well when I give it too much importance in my life. Jeez, I haven’t had any interesting pots in months, I just come here for the blog these days. If I hear from someone…great…if not…well life goes on like it did before I discovered SA. I just like to live vicariously through NYCSB and Flo 😉

VA SBsays:

MMD – Yes, OMG! We absolutely must……

IRLSD – how do you meet these women? You know, there are several wonderful, beautiful women on the Blog…..have you ever thought to see if things might work with one of them? Hmmm? I mean, this 30-minute check is C-R-A-Z-Y…..:-) you really know how to pick ’em…Okay, okay, I’m just joking! I don’t know you well enough to joke around.

But seriously – you should meet one of the SBs on the Blog. I’m sure they would be soooo much better than some of the other ones you’ve met recently.

NYGent- still can’t find anything about this jive talk. Maybe I need to see Airplane! again….

JSO – Well I do have a very cute apron…but not up to June standards I’m sure…

IRLSDsays:

Thank you Cali SB for being amused by my posts. But wait till you hear this–the SB did not make up the whole story (I know, even I am surprised sometimes). I texted that number that is supposedly my wife’s (she got another text from that number) and asked if they were texting my other woman and it turns out the guy is married and loyal and kept getting texts from 30 minute SB because she had written my number down wrong and sent a bunch of texts and voice messages to his number, so he had his wife tell her to stop. She assumed it was my wife because she had actually not contacted any other SDs so there was no way another wife would be after her. Plus, the number is very similar to mine, so she assumed the phones were part of a family plan, whereas it was similar to mine because she wrote my number wrong, lol.

I told her that had she trusted me when I told her it was not my wife this morning, none of this drama would have unfolded. But I was also quick to assume she was making up the whole thing when she wasn’t. But I’m lucky to find out that her solution to the problem was to resort to blackmail now as opposed to later.

UncommonSBsays:

Cali SB: I hear ya. I’ve only been looking a little over a month, and I have my days where I’m ready to throw in the towel. We all have our limits, but let’s hope we find what we are seeking before we reach them!

By nature, I’m sort of type A when I have a goal in mind. I get things done, solve problems instead of just complain about them, and I usually accomplish what I set out to accomplish. This world of games, perversion, fakeness and flakes is time consuming and can be discouraging for sure. At some point, I’ll be ‘over it’ and go back to dating IRL. I’m not a bed jumper and I do have needs like everyone else. I don’t ‘need’ an sd, I simply want one for the pure fun of it. It won’t take long IRL to find someone, and I will tire of searching for an sd and forget about the sugar world soon if things continue the way they’re going. The sugar concept is very intriguing and I really do want to try it with the right person, but I’m not going to put up with the madness forever.

That is, Barbara Billingsley

w/r/t June Cleaver: dont’ forget appearances can be deceiving. Remember her famous “jive talk” riff in “Airplane.”

IRLSD — Seriously, I’m begging you to please start a blog. Your stories are as entertaining as NYC SB’s. And holy hell, wow, I cannot believe she is trying to extort money from you. You need to cut that off at the head! I’m really sorry that you’re having to deal with such a child, that’s really very immature. It’s below that even, I can’t even think of a word for it.

lol @ closet freak.

Hmmm I could play June for a SD. Have a drink ready for him when he returns from work. Wearing nothing but a fancy apron. And CLs. mhmmm. 😉

IRLSDsays:

OK, just got text from the 30 minute SB who claims my wife is texting her again. She even has her number now and it is clearly not my wife’s number. She says unless I pay her $4000, she will text my wife everything. I told her to go ahead and text all she wanted to that number, but if it’s not my wife to leave me alone, plus her text demanding money constitutes blackmail and I’d have her put in jail if she actually did say anything to my wife.

that and she has a drink for her man; the kids are in thier room, house is clean, and she just looked like a closet freak

JSO-TXSDsays:

midwest- HELL YES; child bearing hips…lol

LASB — you lurking around here anywhere?

JSO/NYGent — Thanks for the encouragement. It’s just frustrating sometimes, I suppose. A seemingly really great pot SD will contact me and then just vanish. It’s hard to not become jaded. It’s especially hard in LA because there are SO MANY SD’s and SB’s on the site from there and, frankly, many of them are fake so it just makes the waters murky. I wish outdated profiles (those who haven’t logged in in months) and those who are looking for something that isn’t an arrangement (use seekingmillionaire.com instead) would get deleted to make things a bit easier.

VA SB – Let’s go two-steppin’!

JSO – Did you fantasize about June Cleaver when you were a kid??

Lisa – See if her new religion will get you a big fat raise and three days off in a row at work!

Uncommon — I am a car fanatic. I’m such a guy in that department. When I was a kid (back in the 90’s) I used to be able to tell what car was driving down the street just by the sound it made. When I was in college I used to want to design cars (though that wasn’t my major) and after graduating college I started working on the autoshow circuit as one of the product specialists. I’m trying to get back on the autoshow circuit in the coming season, but for now I work as a lead product specialist for one of the largest car manufacturers in the country (part time, generally around the launch of new vehicle) and it’s sooo much fun! I love learning about the cars, driving the cars, and especially tell guys things about the car they didn’t know (or answering their questions correctly when they try to trip me up). I could talk about cars for hours.

CaliSB: don’t get discouraged, you haven’t been here long. If I had given up after every pot poofed who I thought (at that particular moment) was “just right” for me, then I would have given up long ago. Not that I’m claiming any sort of great success on the site, either. But Midwest, Yaz and others are testimony to how perseverance pays off.

UncommonSBsays:

NY Gent: True, there is a difference between putting up with a bad attitude because there’s physically attraction vs. putting up with disconnected intimacy because there’s money. But, I think it ends up being a reality for most sugar relationships (many of the bloggers excluded). A hot girl and an older, wealthy (not necessarily handsome) guy are in fact the perfect sugar stereotype. The devil is always in the details though, right?

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Elegant – I missed it the first time around. Thank you for being very honest about the situation and taking a little heat for doing so. I believe you had every intention of seeing if feelings would develop ( I have heard SDs make the same claim of “winning her heart” or “hoping she will feel differently”). It also sounds like he knew and was willing to accept the terms. I don’t know if I could have stuck with it for six months, but I tend to cut ties quickly if I’m not into him – allowance or not. It’s good for all of us to hear and learn.

I think June wore tigh-highs and garter belts

JSO-TXSDsays:

Cali-SB – hang in there girl. I cant find anyone either; but that does not mean I;m giveing up

Musesays:

Uncommon I said it when I was 15 and I still stand by “I’m not faking anything. If it isn’t working, it needs fixing, not faking.” That applies to pretty much everything, I think, not just naughty things.

So never got a call from the pot SD. I’m becoming quickly discouraged with this site.

VASb: I think maybe “crackers” just dates both of us . . .

UncommonSBsays:

sorry for the typos

VA SBsays:

I LOVE country music….wait, should I be admitting that? I’ll go country dancing any day!

So, I’m talking to two potSDs….one in MD and the other in SC…..we’ll see how it goes, but this time, I’m going to make sure there is no room for “misinterpretation” of what I want/need.

Someone above said they couldn’t imagine demanding things from their SD and I agree. now, that doesn’t mean that I won’t ask for something if I really want/need it. Because I will…but I’m comfortable enough in any situation that I don’t need an expensive dinner each and everytime I see my SD….

uncommon: i see what your’re saying but i’m not sure I agree the analogy totally holds. to me, engaging in physical intimacy and faking it is on a different plane than tolerating bad behavior from someone to whom you’re physically attracted. In the former situation, it’s the base level attraction that’s feigned, in exchange for $$. In the latter situation, attraction isn’t “feigned” in order to get something else that’s desired. Maybe others see the situations as exactly parallel, but I don’t .

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

Hi Gail

Currently on the phone with my crazy friend. She’s found religion, uh oh

Have a good night

UncommonSBsays:

Elegant: I can see how instant physical chemistry is totally possible in theory, it just hasn’t happed for me yet. I am very much an intellectualluy stimulated person, so I can become very attracted when a man can teach me new things in a powerful way without being condescending, and open my mind up to a whole new realm of experience.

Sooo… it’s hard for me to feel instant anything, because I think and analyze too darn much. I’m not going to jump into bed with anyone just because they took me to a nice restaurant and offered to cover some bills. I will be fine on my own and don’t want anything from them, thank you very much, until I actually like them and care to some extent.

Welcome back Delynn(the 1st DC) Glad to see you on the blog again.

Lisa…lol : ) I see why your SD adores you… his life is now full of laughter from your crazy sense of humor.

James.msays:

Photogirl. You haven’t got a thing to worry about. You are reserved, and your concern is just an extension of that. You know more than enough, and you have a special appeal. Now, you just have to be patient and positive until you come across the right SD that appreciates your special qualities.

My potSD 2nd date just cancelled. Too hot for his own good. He wants to be in touch during the week.
Tomorrow is Mr. Separated potSD date#1

Taylor: A diet of vodka and potatoes will age anyone

VA SBsays:

Well, damn – I thought Ruby Tuesday’s was so classy!!! Not! But, if it’s just me and a girlfriend and we want drinks and appetizers, then heck yes, I’ll go there….it doesn’t have to be fancy since it’ll more than likely be on a Sunday afternoon and I’ll have on my jeans and t-shirt……

NYGent – I say that all the time “…wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers”…I thought I was the only person who still said that…

ElegantSugarsays:

Uncommon: Very much agreed that the chemistry part is rushed. I have had very understanding SDs in this department. Then there is the pot SD I’m meeting with this week that I feel I might want to rip his clothes off the minute we see each other. Of course, I won’t. Or at least, I won’t tell you guys if I did. And then there’s the one I’m only slightly attracted to. There won’t be any ripping off of clothes, but I would let him eat crackers in bed. (Ha! Love that NY Gent!)

ElegantSugarsays:

Photogirl: Awwww, sugar, sugar!! You are certainly not in a place of disadvantage at all!! I have read some profiles where SDs are actually seeking a girl without experience so he can be the first one to spoil her. A certified millionaire member actually states, “I want a girl whose idea of a nice restaurant is Olive Garden.” (Something like that…)

I would say just be yourself. Don’t play up OR down who you are. The truth always rises to the top and someone is going to appreciate and adore you for EXACTLY WHO you are!!! By the way, you are going with me on Saturday to a fabulous party. My first SD is having an awesome party and who knows…you might meet a SD IRL. I will email you details. (Like I tell you and don’t ask?? Ha ha! Now I sound like NY Gent’s ex-model SB!)

PS – I LOVE thrift shops and can show you the best ones in our area!!

UncommonSBsays:

NYGent: I totally see where you’re coming from. No one wants to feel that they are investing (in whatever way) while someone else is going through the motions. To play devil’s advocate though, isn’t it looks that initially hold things together on the sd’s end? I mean there must be a bit of chemistry, but from what I’ve read on the blog, most sd’s will put up with some fairly unflattering behavior for a little while if the sb is hot. Only ending it when the sb becomes intolerable. That doesn’t sound like chemistry to me…

I think that a lot of the chemistry part is often rushed. It’s easy for one or both people to mistakenly assume initial chemistry, and then one or both of them drag it on without genuine interest.

I have yet to find an sd, and yes we all talk about chemistry and hope to find it. I realize that I’m significantly narrowing my options by not wanting to date married men, while at the same time not wanting to be a girlfirend to a single man. But, I’m holding out for the chemistry. If it never find an sd, then I never do, but I refuse to date anyone I don’t like first. And that takes a little time for me to figure out. I’m not easily swayed by empty promises and tall tales.

irlsd: there’s a difference between a unique little cupcake place and mcdonalds isn’t there?

Musesays:

I think I’m the only one who enjoys the occasional jaunt to Ruby Tuesdays etc. That said, I go once a year when I’m in suburbia and have no other options so it may be more of a “Thank God I don’t have to eat here all the time” sort of enjoyment.

However, I adore Panera Bread. Has anyone else tried their cinnamon bagels zapped in the microwave for 30 seconds? Better than a donut. Probably less healthy too but oh well.

JSO – Hi!! I could see you in a 74 Caddy…suits you! I’m sure it’s comfortable for a taller guy like yourself.

Muse – No, YOU do! Rock that crackberry!

Photogirl: I would not view you as at a disadvantage for lack of sugar “exeperience.” I think it can actually be an advantage, at least from some SD’s perspectives. I have written on the blog a few times about how, much as I find that extensive international travel, multilinguality, and knowledge of all the world’s great restaurants and hotels by an SB makes them interesting and fun to be around and listen/talk to, I would actually prefer an SB who has’nt “been there, done that” with regard to every new place or experience I could hope to expose hetake her to. Yes, your super-billionaire jet set SDs will probably prefer an SB who is intimately familiar with their world, and I say more power to both of them, I’m sure they have a blast. But while I do very well for myself I can’t pretend to be Aristotle Onassis or Prince Ranier nor I am I looking for Jackie O or Grace Kelly (although I wouldn’t kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers!)

Thanks Muse and ESB!
Trivia is fun! Lots of Pop culture stuff

ElegantSugarsays:

I cannot stand the smell of Ruby Tuesdays. Reminds me of the scary lunch lady from my elementary days.

The service at Chili’s is equivalent to the T-Mobile signal you get in Lake Tahoe. Terrible or non-existent.

If a pot SD recommended either one of those, I would politely make a suggestion without offending him.

And, IRLSD, why does going to high society events and restaurants, dressing up in suits equivalent to “not being comfortable in your own skin”??? A SD with the those tastes could judge you by your dress and choice of places to dine. Why be so judgmental?? People have different tastes. We generally like things when they resonate with our own way of thinking, beliefs or dreams. This doesn’t make them right or wrong. It is just the way IT IS.

True, it isn’t the venue that defines the person or the clothes they wear, but a first meeting for an arrangement is sort of an ‘interview’ when you think about it. I wouldn’t show up to a job interview in sundress and flip-flops. Then again, I’m not applying to work at McDonald’s either. To each their own…

JSO-TXSDsays:

on the town car issue, they rock. like riding in your living room. no i dont own one anymore but will if they change the style up. am looking at a 74 cadlicac convertable with parade tops.
photo you are hot. do not get down on yerself. we both have the same problem.

HEY e veryone

ESBsays:

NYGent: I for one could never be in an arrangement if there wasn’t some kind of attraction. I couldn’t/wouldn’t do that to my self, let alone someone else. I’mhoping for someone I can actaully relate to, not just “perform” for.

Photogirl: I am right there with you sweety. I do have the fortune of wealthy friends, who take me places with them, and since they know where I am in my life, they know that if they invite me to go with them, they are going to be footing the bill. I have learned so much from them, but if you were to meet them, you would NEVER suspect there was money there. They are so comfortable with them selves….

That is the reason I came to this sight. I love my friends, and so many times I turn them down… I just dont feel right having them pay my way all the time. I love their lives, the places they go, things they do, but I feel I am taking advantage of them by going all the time. I turned down “Phantom of the Opera” because I just didn’t feel right, like I was imposing on them… they all got dressed up, got a limo to take them, and asked me to go with… sigh.. you have NO idea how hard that was for me. I LOVE Phantom!! They said when/if it comes back, I am going…

Anyway, NO, I do not believe that is a disadvantage to you. I am sure we are not the only ones who are there!!

AM Hurrah! Remind me not to play you in Trivial Pursuit.

MMD No, you do! I’m so on top of my email with this new blackberry! Wheee!

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Niki and Muse – You have mail!

Photogirl- I played down my lack of experience. I would say that with everything you have learned and shared on the blog, I don’t think a SD would even consider you inexperienced. In my world, it may have been an advantage that SD and I were both new to arrangements and were willing to learn together. I *LOVE* how unassuming you are. Just guessing here, but I would say that shyness might be a bit of a disadvantage. Finding a SD is a bit like sales…or finding that new photography gig. Don’t be afraid be a little more outgoing or flirty (still with panties on) when you are talking/e-mailing.

Musesays:

photo I don’t think you are. I had an ex-boyfriend (not sugar) who delighted in exposing me to new things. He thought it was great fun to see how excited I was by my new experiences and was always laughing (in a nice way) at my reactions. Thanks to him, I learned a lot and he was happy to be able to experience those things again though my eyes.

NYGent I can understand how hard it must be for SDs to know whether it’s the allowance or the man that is most appealing. I would hate to be with someone and feel that kind of doubt and I hope you never do in a relationship, sugar or otherwise.

I should clarify: if I were doing a cross-country drive or the whole Route 66 thing, I would have no problem at all eating at fast food or chains along the interstate, that would be part of experiencing the real America. And I, myself, can eat almost any food, without pretensions. Just would never take an SB to one of those places.

I don’t mind Chilis, it’s actually one of my favorite places to eat but then again i’m fairly easy to please with food, as long as there are no onions, peppers, or other icky things mixed in.

UncommonSBsays:

Midwest: I know… it’s very shallow to make assumptions based on a vehicle, hence my acknowledgement of that preceding the comments. The only reason it makes me scratch my head is because this is the sugar world, and I would expect someone who is okay with an allowance to be okay with less than half that amount to spend on themselves for a car payment.

Cali SB: Yes, very high-end cars are pretty. They better be for the price! Funny thing is, I’m not even a car person. I would never spend hundreds of thousands on a car, even if it were pocket change. Of all the luxury cars in the world, my favorite at this point is a Tesla, because it’s electric and still a real sports car.

AM: hey Girl, way to go!! My room mate does the Trivia thing on Wed nights. I might have to go with him sometime to see what it is all about!

Yaz: I am sooo happy for you, there is no more deserving SB on the blog than you!

On the subject of first dates and places: I would never take an SB to a Chilis, Ruby Tuesdays, McDonalds on first date, last date, middle date — both because it doesn’t smack of sugar (which is what the site is all about), but also because (being selfish here) i can’t stand those places unless I am with golf buddies somewhere and we just are starved for any food, or if I’m in Timbuktu and they are the best places in town (and I can’t believe they would ever be better than your local greasy spoon diner). But to each his own . . .

On the “walking ATM” issue: I think we SDs (or at least me) ARE paranoid, especially when we hear stories about SBs “faking” interest in physical intimacy for weeks or months when they know that real interest is just never gonna happen. That sort of thing is exactly what causes us to worry that in the end, it really is all about the money. And to paraphrase somebody, anytime you hear somebody say, “It’s not about the money” — it’s about the money!

photogirlsays:

I am really beginning to feel like the Plain Jane of the blog…and possibly all of SA.

I find the Starbucks jokes rather humorous and can’t help but laugh when someone suggests meeting there… even outside of the dating realm. But I don’t really have any objections to meeting a pot there…(with my panties of course) As a few of you know… I am rather shy when first meeting someone, so I kind of prefer the low key atmosphere… there is after all the opportunity for a nice dinner later that evening if all goes well over coffee(panties still on) where I will be even more relaxed and comfortable with him since the initial ‘meet’ is out of the way. Am I the ONLY one who feels this way? Lunch is fine too…just not at Mickey D’s.

I’ve always been one to bargain shop… finding the best deals on just about anything. Even have a love for thrift stores and consignment shops. (Beach can confirm some of my great finds) I’ve never traveled outside of the U.S. (although I am anxious to use my newly acquired passport) Rarely do I go out to eat, let alone a high-end restaurant and even more rarely have I ever been ‘pampered’ in any relationship… so I can only imagine I would be surprised and extremely grateful for the things my SD would provide in an arrangement as far as gifts, dinner, shopping, travel etc.

So you may be asking…. why the hell are you here?

Since I’ve never experienced many of the things so many of you talk about, I WANT to be exposed to those things but I would NEVER in my life demand it. I find it utterly disgusting that an SB(NYGent’s for example) would demand those changes he mentioned.

My question to the SBs – Do you think I am at a disadvantage because of my lack of ‘experience’?

My question to the SDs – Would you think less of me as a potential SB because of my lack of ‘experience’ or would you embrace the opportunity to show me the sugary side of life?

IRLSD — Your stories never cease to amuse me. I really wish you would start a blog like NYC SB’s.

SDN — Are you lurking? You have not been here lately.. fishy fishy!!

NC Gent — You have not been here in even longer, where are you??

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Uncommon – Be very careful with those assumptions. I know men who drive expensive cars and can barely afford the payment (yes payment). It’s not that uncommon. If he can agrees to the allowance you are seeking and you enjoy his company, he may deserve a fair shake. Unless he faulters or hesitates on the allowance, questioning his frugality or ability to pay is a bit premature.

I know Lisa, you got one of the GOOD ones!! You are truly one of the lucky ones… I on the other hand have been fooled, but NEVER AGAIN!!

UncommonSBsays:

Good evening all!

Had a pot lunch date, this is now my 3rd. He’s local, which I’m very hesitant about. The ‘small world’ thing is intimidating. He seems like a nice guy thus far and didn’t act like a crazy person, so that’s a pleasant change. I let him know that it would take a couple of dates for me to feel comfortable enough to confirm my interest in an arrangement, and he’s fine with that. He’s into music, art, he’s in shape and checks out professionally.

Everything went well, and I had a good feeling about things right up until we left the restaurant. I know this sounds shallow, but his car totally threw me off. It was a towncar, a few years old too. Hmn. Strange?! My car is newer than his! I’ve never met a successful guy who drives a towncar. Ever. And for the record, I live in a city where public transit is not really utilized by the masses. Everyone drives.

I’ve worked with many executives/principals and they all drive nice cars. The fairly modest ones drive a mid-level BMW, Mercedes, Jaguar, Lexus or Audi. Or maybe an Escalade, Hummer. The not so modest ones drive Bentley, Aston Martin, Maserati, Porsche, Bugatti, Maybach, etc.

So, am I wrong in thinking that he’s either A) having some sort of financial issues or B) so ‘conservative’ or cheap that he won’t even spring for a nice vehicle for himself? If either of those are true, then he wouldn’t make a very good sd. Even cheap guys I’ve known who are wealthy still spend money on a nice personal vehicle.

ESBsays:

I work with some VERY wealthy men.. and one is HOOKED on dinner food. OMG, every time I work with him, we go to some dive. It cracks me up, we could eat at some fancy place, but he wants the dinner. He insists on paying, so I’m going to complain, but some guys are just comfortable in their skin. I will never complain about where a guy wants to meet me, but WILL draw the line at McD’s. their food makes me sick!!

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

ESB my sd was on time, waiting for me

Gemini29says:

Yaz – I don’t see how not wanting to go to Starbucks or Ruby Tuesdays as a first meetup/date equals me viewing them as a walking ATM. I wouldn’t go to either of those places for a NORMAL date. And especially for sugar dating….I want a guy who wants to spoil and surprise me (in a good way!) The first meetup is where you make all of your first impressions about someone… I just don’t consider chain coffee shops and chain restaurants the place to do that. At least choose a place with more heart and soul if you want to be low-key…

Ps. I’d never order my SD around like NYGent’s ex did. I might say “oh, I’ve heard the “blah blah” is a really cool hotel…maybe we could stay there sometime” but never say “Oh we are staying at the Mandarin…or else!” lol god, I can’t believe girls have that kind of hutzpah!

Yazsays:

Lisa you crack me up! lmao!

IRLSDsays:

In fact, what makes me want to be an SD is the fact that I don’t need more material things for myself to be happy, so I know my money could be put to use making someone else happy who actually needs money at a particular stage in her life, but I don’t want a leech or a spoiled brat or a drama queen on my hands.

Gemini, if an SB thinks that any place is beneath her, I’d be turned off, partly because I don’t think any place is beneath me. I eat at some hole-in-the-walls because I like their food, and if an SB looked at the place with disgust, I’d be shaking my head inside.

LOL @ Lisa… yes, that can work sometimes… unless he makes you wait 20 minutes!!

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

An airport is also a great first meeting place, lol

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Sugar is in the air tonight! Congrats to Yaz and Niki! Kipis, cheers, great toasts Elegant and lots of celebrating!

Taylor- I’m one that even if the money works out per meet, I don’t want to be reminded every time we meet that this is still a financial arrangement. I enjoy the quick, subtle way SD provides my allowance at the beginning of the month and we spend the rest of the month enjoying each other’s company.

VC – Tell me EVERYTHING about Italy! I’ve wanted to go for many years now. I have a friend living there now and hope to visit her this summer. Any tips/ suggestions?

Cleo – That sounds like a lovely weekend! I hope you are refreshed and ready to resume your search. I sensed you were a little disenchanted…we are always here for you.

Caramel – I’m in Northern Indiana and my SD is in MI. Glad to see more midwestern friends!

I tried to catch up, but you have all been busy!

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

If I could step outside my apartment after dark i’d be content, lol

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Hey Lisa! Glad you are feeling better. I caught something as well but trying to ignore it and going to work out at the gym in a bit.

I have met my SDs in the past at Starbucks. No problem with that. It takes the pressure off. McDonalds however I draw the line at as my background is in holistic nutrition and I’d be a hypocrite if I ate there LOL.

My last SD I met at Starbucks and when we parted he gave me an envelope with $1,000 cash in it and said this is for you whether you want to go forward or not. So I would not judge anyone by where he takes you for your first meeting.

IRLSDsays:

Yaz, thank you. Well said!

ESBsays:

Well put Yaz!!

IRLSDsays:

Lisa, I think the house I live in now qualifies as “no need to flaunt it”. It’s price is three months of my pay, but it’s a nice and comfortable house and I know that a bigger house (such as the mansion my parents live in) would not particularly make me happier. Again, it’s all about what makes you happy. One person needs a black American Express to feel accomplished, another is just as happy in a t-shirt and a pair of old jeans. As I have told SBs, making 50 times what I made 6 years ago has not made me happier so one should learn to be content with what one has.

Would you be ok with a SD telling you ” This is an arrangement site and you are my SB so I expect you to open your legs whenever I tell you to” HELL NO! Right?

We dont want to be seen as prostitutes and they dont want to be seen as walking ATMs. It is as simple as that.

IRLSDsays:

Taylor, I find IRL SBs everywhere I look. Work, shopping mall, swimming pool, etc. When you’re young and successful, it’s really not that hard to charm a woman and then offer to take care of her (I’ll admit that success works better than wealth to charm women IRL).

But SBs are easier to find IRL than SDs. First, most women have it in their nature to be taken care of financially, while most men either lack the means or the desire to support a woman. Second, it’s easy to know who’d make a good SB–just look at what they look like and how they carry themselves in public, while it is hard to x-ray a man’s pocket to know if he’d make a good SD.

ESBsays:

IRLSD: I agree, you have to be you, mostly because you want your SB to like who you are!! I’m so the Levi’s and Nike’s girl, but even then, if seen in public dressed like that (I often am) people know I have some substanc.

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

IRLSD : Ok so that was you I saw in the Mcdonalds by my apartment today, lol Also saw your pickup truck full of furniture in my apartment parking lot, so you’re moving to my apartment complex, lol the next step to the “no need to flaunt it”

My milkshake brings the boys to the yard, and damn right, they’re better than yours, I could teach you, but then I’d have to charge.

Sorry. Sorry. *snorfles* can’t. stop. laughing.

oh man, I think I picked up on some of Flo’s crazy 😀

Yazsays:

Gemini~ If you were a millionaire and you had hot girls throwing themselves at you on a daily basis, wouldnt you wonder just a tiny bit if they were attracted to you or your money???? Unless you were truly looking for gold diggers and escorts wouldnt you find a way to test a pot SB? I would….Too many SBs think that the millionaires SDs listed on this site have bottom-less pockets ( Hey, those guys didnt get rich by regularly throwing loads and loads of money on hot girls 😉 )

Sometimes, telling a pot “I am not a Starbucks kinda girl” might make him think you might be high maintenance….even though you aren’t. Why? Because they encounter tooo many women who expect them to take them out to the best restaurants in town just because they can afford it. ( I remember NYGent’s ex-SB who would constantly change their plans and make him take her to expensive places). That didnt last long.

P.S: I only ate there once but I think Ruby Tuesdays is an ok restaurant…

TXSBsays:

Coco:
Hi and welcome back!
——————————————————————

Yaz:
I kinda agree with Gemini about SDs who feel the need to “test”. I mean let’s face it….this is a arrangement site. There’s a place in the profile for “amount expected”. The very definition of a SB is a female who wants a wealthy man to spoil her. IMO if a man is that paranoid about women using him for money, then he should join a regular dating site and not a site where he’s looked at as a SD.

IRLSDsays:

Gemini, I guess it all depends on what you’re looking for. There is the “society crowd” that only is seen at super-fancy restaurants and cocktail parties and private clubs and then there are SDs who are comfortable in their own skin and can enjoy a milkshake off McDonald’s $1 menu as much as they can enjoy flying first class to the presidential suite of a world-class hotel in the Caribbean. I, for sure, fall in the latter category. I feel no need to show off my wealth. I buy whatever I want, but if I don’t want something, I’d never spend a penny to impress someone else. I know that SBs may be expecting an SD in a suit carrying a briefcase, yet most of my first SB dates I’ve gone on I was in sneakers to very casual places (my new favorite is a cupcake place). IRL, no SB has held that against me. And if I have to act like someone I am not to impress an SB, it just won’t work.

Better from my food poisoning of last week. I think i’ll stay away from seafood for awhile.

Have a good night everyone

Happy Birthday Villa

Gemini29says:

Yaz- True, not all SDs do all the “normal rich” things rich people do. But a lot of them at least have class. You can still be understated and rich but do it well. To me, the difference is choosing a nice place instead of going the Starbucks or chain restaurant route. If he had said “Oh there is this really nice little place, it serves great *whatever on a stick* and I think it would be a great place for us to meet” then that would have been fine. I don’t always need/want 5-star dining (although it IS a great first impression), but at least some character/personality would be good too.

Gemini:
Although meeting for a drink at Starbucks for a 1st meet doesn’t bother me…..I can’t believe he actually gave you McD’s as a “choice”! Yikes!

Yazsays:

ESB~ LOL

Taylorsays:

IRL SD, where do you find SBs IRL? Do you just hit on hotties and start spoiling them asap so they start to get the drift that yes, you’re married and for whatever other potential reason not someone they’d be dating witha marriage mindset, but look at all the fun and sugar happening, so why not! ?

Gemini29says:

ESB – Enough chemistry to make the bay sizzle 😉

Yazsays:

Not all wealthy SDs fly first class, stay at swanky hotels, or eat at 5 star restaurants…..Dont always look in those places for SDs.
I met a SD on this site and I was shocked at his humble appearance…You would have never thought in a million years that he was worth millions and millions of dollars…..
I guess what I am trying to say is “appearances” aren’t always everything.

ESBsays:

Yaz: Congrats girl!! I’m so happy for you!! You gave me the hope to keep on going. I just know that the same is going to happen for me some day… A great guy that I’ll have enough chemistry with to blow up the east coast! LOL…

Gemini29says:

Yaz – And in that regard, I don’t want to be with a man who has to test his potential SBs in that manner. Also…Ruby Tuesdays is the suck. If he wanted to meet me in a more low-key environment, that would be ok(ish) but at least choose a nice non-chain restaurant… I mean, any college kid can take me to Ruby Tuesdays for a first date…

Taylorsays:

I just assumed that, for example, if someone’s allowance was 3000 per month, and there was a weekly get together, and the agreed upon medium was cash, that there would be some classy way of transferring the 750 into your hands at some point during the weekly get together, and that that moment of discovering those funds in your new purse he’s giving you, or slipped inside one of the boots that he just surprised you, or whatever, would be considered a moment of being ‘sugar dusted.’ Of course, if allowance is wire transferred per month that’s a different thing, and I suppose I would assume that being dusted was as surprise gift of some sort, and I think a much nicer deal, but then don’t SBs ever worry about being audited and/or tax issues of some sort or another?

Yazsays:

It is funny because a lot of SDs complain that ” a SB expects me to shower her with gifts and money just because she is HOT” and a lot of SBs complain that ” That guy is too cheap and yet he is a millionaire”

Dating a millionaire does NOT mean that he will treat you like a princess.

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

So much fun reading all of this Hollywood gossip! Flo you are a trip!

John Travolta- sooo not sexy! But gay? really? I bet after his latest movie he just decides to go with the shaved look…scary but better than spray on.

Nothing surprises me anymore. I used to work for a chiro who saw all the rich and famous in the bay area. I remember he told me that one of the most beautiful women to ever live was once married to a gay man so obviously it has nothing to do with the woman’s looks.

Gemini~ Maybe some SDs ( especially the super wealthy ones) are curious to find out if a SB will only be around for the money so they “test” you by inviting you out to a chain restaurant…..

IRLSDsays:

Taylor, I used to have fantasies of an SB whom I could just provide for beyond what she could imagine. It worked with my IRL SB, but SA SBs I’ve met typically want a monthly dollar value placed on their time. At first, I would give even more (extra for loans, rent, etc) to prove my sincerity and desire, but then one of two things would happen. Either the SB would feel entitled to the pampering and somehow assume that I was in love and that the pampering would last forever, and I would quickly realize that I was getting used by a tease and end things. Or the SB would get too attached realizing that no one else would take such good care of her, then would follow the controlling tendencies (not being able to get a haircut without SB questioning where I was, not being able to visit my parents without drama from a sobbing SB, having to spend every single free moment with SB and still be accused of possible infidelity, etc). I am not sure where the happy medium is, but I now tell new prospective SBs that I am not looking for either of these situations. And no extra sugar early in the relationship. If the SB shows that she truly deserves extra sugar beyond the monthly arrangement, then it will come, but I will not shower it up front at this point.

Taylorsays:

I like that anaglogy of you bringing your A game so he should, too. If we showed up in sweats, sneaks, and a ponytail to a first meet, he would and should be rightfully disappointed. Same goes for Ruby Tuesdays vs. a decent, elegant place to get acquainted. I mean, he should even be sending a car/taxi to pick you up at your door and take you there, in my opinion. so you can just focus on showing up looking like a princess, and not worrying about things like walking a long way from the parking lot in high heels in winter (if there’s snow/ice), etc….

Gemini29says:

Taylor – I’m going to go out on a limb and say that maybe the “sugar dusting” some SBs get after a long date might be extra gifts of sugar or might even be the total amount for the allowance for that month.

Yazsays:

Taylor~ I didnt know that. Who is having a pay-per-meet arrangement on the blog?? I must have missed it….

ESBsays:

I’m still catching up from earlier. SOOooo glad it stopped raining. Such a strang day… eventurally dumped my trench coat in the back seat, covering all the papers for my work (I work from my car, it’s a disaster!) and put my windows down!! Love driving with the windows down, music blasting…

Anyway, DC MUAH!! Thank you for your kind words!! You really are a sweet person… it’s a wonder you don’t have more men falling all over you! Speaking of which, your friend is dreamy!! Hang on to him… 😉

OK, more catching up, then will post some more.. don’t want to make this too long, you all might just ignore it!! :'(

Most people had said they weren’t interested in a pay-per-meet arrangement, but it sounds like there actually *is* a lot fo pay-per-meet happening after all, from what I read on this blog. Am I wrong?

Gemini29says:

Elegant Sugar and Taylor – Yeah I despise Ruby Tuesdays. DESPISE. I read that, and I was like “oh no he didn’t!” I don’t know much about Chilis to be honest, but ick, still a chain. He said something in one of the emails about it (starbucks or wherever) just being a meeting place. No, actually, its much more than “just” a meeting place in my mind. If I am going to bring my A-game to a first date/meeting, I expect a guy to bring his A-game too. A-game does not equal a chain restaurant!! That is like…D-game? And why would I want a SD who only brings out his D-game on the first meet? Bueller?

(I’m actually a closet McDs fan, but as a first date for a possible SUGAR relationship? Oh hell no!!!)

CA Dreamin SBsays:

Taylor –

As crazy as it sounds, there is a distinction (to me) in an SD and me agreeing on an allowance of $ per month which is given to me however he wants to give it, and an SD saying “I’ll give you $300 each time we’re together”. The 2nd feels very much like he’s looking at me as an escort. It’s a fine line…but it makes a difference, at least to me.

Yazsays:

Taylor said
“But it reminds me of that ‘cash per meet’ question awhile back and EVERYONE was like ‘hells no, I wouldn’t entertain the thought of a pay-per-meet’ but now it seems like lots are very down with that style of getting cash slipped to them in cute and discreet ways after a long date? I feel there’s a discrepancy going on.”

Huh I lost you there….

Taylorsays:

Gemini, OMG. McDonalds. Seriously. As if Ruby’s and Chilis weren’t bad enough. And yes, ‘oral and penetrative sex’ makes it sound like something that happens in a clinic. Far from enticing. Sheesh. This guy really has no idea about chemistry, romance, and passion. But if he wants a girl 40 years younger perhaps he’s accepted that it’s a business deal and not about chemistry. But then, why not purchase time with an escort who will deliver his list of requirements for the right price? Or, I guess, some men want the illusion of ‘going where no other man has gone before’ or at least not ‘where dozens of men have been this week.’

and yeah, Rose was supposedly from Minnesota from Finnish stock, that’s right! I remember now! I haven’t seen that show since I first even visited Finland so I never made that connection of the mention of Finland/Finnish language in american pop culture! I’d find it much more hilarious now if I saw the show!

I loved ElegantSugar’s toast!!!

and yeah, cleo, I’d hate to imagine that this dude is thinking of leaving his wife and moving on to me, and kind of despise him a bit for already wanting me to hang out with him and his kid. Where’s the loyalty? He’s known me for 4 days!

Going to sleep now. so tired, and it’s 3am.

I’m so happy for Yaz and I like the new term ‘sugar dust/ed/ing’ –it’s so cute!

But it reminds me of that ‘cash per meet’ question awhile back and EVERYONE was like ‘hells no, I wouldn’t entertain the thought of a pay-per-meet’ but now it seems like lots are very down with that style of getting cash slipped to them in cute and discreet ways after a long date? I feel there’s a discrepancy going on.

I, for one, would be happy with an agreed-upon monthly allowance that I could count on, but I would be more interested in an arrangement where it would be a total surprise thing, that he would just slip the sugar in places I would find it later, in amounts that would leave a smile on my face, even if we had never discussed his budget for contribution. I feel this way must work best with a millionaire, when he has the means to exceed my hopes if the relationship is just sparking and zinging and leaving everyone feeling super happy and generous, and that would trigger a virtuous cycle of events for me doing more and more surprises for him, etc.

But someone asked me, what if both are waiting for the other to spark that chain of events and is holding back a bit for the other to make the first gesture of trust and good faith? That’s part of the reason I was so jumping-in-with-both-feet with my pot SD whom I met abroad a few weeks ago. I just decided to trust him at his word that he was serious with no negotiations talk, no allowance talk, no sugar dusting, and also because I was into him and wanted to ‘go there.’ Which I did. But then no sugar dusting happened and no sugar seems to be on the horizon, although it was supposed to be this week or next that we would be getting together again. Maybe he’ll shock me, get over his chest cold, and show up on this side of the atlantic to woo me and dust me and SD-fairytale-ending me all over. Cross your fingers for me.

local married obsessive stalker hottie guy is just offering strict cover-my-bills type of arrangement (but even that is something of a stretch for him –not major, but not leaving room in his budget for additional splashing out and gifts), which would definitely help my life out a lot, but isn’t nearly the fun, glam type thing that I was hoping for with uber-rich pot #1.

gemini: *sigh*
.
does anyone else keep trying to make a french word out of the blog title?

James I would be horrified if I broke up a marriage so yeah, i think i totally agree with you…
.
yaz: yay!

Gemini29says:

Oh oh oh OMG girls!

Hahaha….

So I had this pot SD interested in me right? For weeks we’ve been emailing here and there back and forth, getting closer to meeting. So… I asked him where he wanted to meet, and he said “maybe Starbucks?” I emailed back and said simply that I’m not a Starbucks girl. He emailed back today with…get this. OMG. My choice of “Ruby Tuesdays, Chilis, or…MCDonalds.” MCDONALDS, LADIES….. MCDONALDS!!

He just signed his “This deal is dead in the water” warrant. I told him that we are not on the same wavelength, and then wished him luck in his search.

McDonalds! *shakes head*

Yazsays:

Elegant~ Thanks for the toast. LOL @ “staring lust”!!

Yazsays:

Muse~ LOL its ok 😉 I didnt forget the advice you, NYCSB and Midwest gave me that night. Love you babes!

Flo~ It was a rainy day in NYC today so I went straight from the station to the cab and into the restaurant lol. I wasnt trying to get my hair wet! Plus I didnt fly, just took the train to Penn Station. After 9/11 and that nigerian kid’s attempt to blow up a plane I avoid flying as much as I can and since NYC is not that far, it is convenient for me to just hop on a train :-). So yeah, I wasnt anywhere near JFK lol

Aww ElegantSugar, thats a FABULOUS toast!

*clinky back!*

Sexy Lexiiisays:

congrats Yaz!! there is hope after all hehe, thats awesome

ElegantSugarsays:

Everyone,

Hold your glasses up!!

Here’s to the wine we love to drink, and the food we like to eat.
Here’s to our boyfriends and Sugar Dads, let’s pray they never meet.
Here’s to Yaz and her new SD and their exchange of staring lust,
And when they depart from their next meet, we hope he left her dust.
Here’s champagne for our real friends And real pain for our sham friends.
And when this life is over, may all of us find peace.”

* * CLINK * *

Signing off now. I have a glass of wine and a good book calling my name! Have a lovely evening, all. I’m sure I will be back. I’m only on step one of SBA.

Musesays:

Flo Ridasays:

Yaz – i’m so happy for your joy. this moment is heightened and intensified by the anticipation. You know that it works from your side when you can’t wait to be with him. love ya! ps did you swing by hertz jfk?

Golden Girls flashback? *scratches her head*

and yes, Yaz, congratulations! more details about the awesomeness that is this MBA?

And are you going to continue pursuing a secondary (perhaps local) SD?

Yazsays:

Taylor~ lmaoo nooo it didnt happen like that. We have exchanged a LOT of pictures and our online/phone chemistry was already there. We had lunch today. We are not in a hurry to “seal the deal” even tho we kept staring at each other with lust today LMAO. The meet today just confirmed that we were physically attracted to each other and a great “match”. On my way home, he texted/emailed to confirm that he wants me as his SB.

Taylorsays:

Can I change the subject for one second and say EW to this pint sized sixty year old man’s idea of an arrangement? He’ll let you live in an apartment he has empty for a few months, and during that month, the ‘rent’ he wants to collect as a dirty old landlord is:

Female maximum age 25. Selected candidate would receive monthly allownace and would be expected to be avaialable about 2 or three times each fortnight. When we mee t I would expect:

To be greeted with a deep kiss when I arrive.
To be allowed to remove all or part of your clothing at this time or later in the evening.
Once clothing removed that you spend the rest of the evening relaxing with me in your state of nakedness or partial undress.
Lots of cuddling, kissing and touching.
Oral and penetrative sex.
Sleep together overnight.

I wouldn’t be so grossed out about it except for the last couple of lines being so …’hitting you over the head with it’ in terms of what he’s salivating at anticipating. Where’s the romance or chemistry in that? ew It just reeks of a man who needs to be just purchasing time with an escort because he’s absolutely only into the ‘I get to rub my nakedness against her nakedness with a woman 40 years younger than me’ thing and it creeps me out a little. ok, a lot.

CONGRATULATIONS, YAZ!!! Now we all really must clink our glasses!!

Taylorsays:

Yaz, what, you agreed on an arrangement during a month of distance correspondence, and meeting up was just to seal the deal? I don’t get it, what if he had smelled bad or…. what if things hadn’t clicked IRL?? I’m so green and clueless. You mean I can set up an arrangement from a distance, get a first allowance, and THEN start up a visitation schedule? LOL

Yazsays:

Midwest~ THANK YOU sooo much for the sugar dust! It worked!!!

ElegantSugarsays:

Flo, this was a few years ago (2005?) and the protocol for me was to be introduced to him and Kelly by a man of whom I don’t recall his name (have a photo with this guy and I swear he completely felt up my backside while the camera clicked and you can see it on my face…and his too, for that matter). He is/was one of the head guys with the Church of Scientology (I’m not a Scientologist, I was there representing a completely unrelated entity), but I was told to say my 20 second schpeel, introduce Mr. Travolta and wife, Kelly Preston (using her full name and not say Mrs. Travolta), shake their hands briefly when they got on stage and exit immediately. I was not allowed to stay on stage and pose for a photo with them. I then went back down into the crowd and that was when I snapped the photo of him from about 2 feet away. Spray-on hair is all I have to say. Wish I could post the photo here.

*official*

Yazsays:

Just got home from NYC after an ah-mazing first meet It is officially sugars. Yaz has a SD!!!!!!! 😀

Flo Ridasays:

Elegant – SD’s company bought a table at the Australian US association event at Cipriani I think 2 years ago and John Travolta was guest speaker because of his Quantas associations. I was 1foot away from him but didn’t speak with him. The protocol is he has his minders who introduce people to him and they have clues in the introduction as to how important how long they should speak (think Devil Wears Prada where the interns had to tell the editor people’s names). It is definitely a bad dye job – his hair is jet black and he’s old enough where it should be greying. also he’s put a tonne of weight which the camera hides. Kelly is heavenly gorg!

Seperately the 100year old media magnate Rupert Murdoch (?) was there with his 35 year old (asian) wife – real world sugar anyone – at least she got a pre-nup.

hope this helps. back to work at Hertz.

Taylorsays:

That city is called Tampere. I used to live there.

Yes, eating ‘poro’ (reindeer) and drinking to oblivion is what they do here in this country. The daylight hours are so weird, its’ the only way to deal perhaps. I’m an alchoholic by american standards over here, but a prude about liquor to finnish standards.

You say ‘kippis’ instead of ‘cheers’ when you toast, in finnish. Not sure what you say in Japanese.

And yes, yes, yes! women don’t want to be any sort of catalyst for a family to break up. Me included. And it’s just flaky behavior for him to have known me such a short time and be ready to toss his wife of 10+ years (emotionaly, if not literally) over for me. Why wouldn’t he do the same thing to me down the line, kwim? Just wishy-washy behavior, and I prefer my men to be reliable and steadfast in their commitments and thinking.

Fucking around is another story, and I don’t have a huge issue with having an arrangement with a married man, and if he can successfully compartmentalize and still be a good husband and family man, then fine. Not a marriage I would want but to each their own.

Jamessays:

Killing time at JFK and couldn’t resist peeking in, only to find that we have a Finnish seminar on one side of the room and a drinking party on the other!

Finnish is a weird language, supposedly related to Japanese and Hungarian in some ancient and mysterious way. Both Finns and Japanese say kampai for toasting, or so I heard about a thousand times when I had the unusual gig of representing a Japanese company in tricky negotiations with a Finnish company, with English the supposedly common language but native only to me, and we made the same endless small talk at every formal dinner. We were in a small factory city a good ways north of Helsinki and the main local recreation appeared to be drinking to oblivion, which seemed to justify every Finn joke ever told in Minnesota. We also ate a lot of reindeer meat, not bad.

The “safety net” issue is a real one for many women. At one point in my life, I was guilty of that kind of thinking, so I can empathize with guys who feel that way. But I’ve come to think it’s more of a sign that the guy isn’t really ready for divorce yet, and that women are wise to be wary of being put in the position of enabler and comforter. I’ve found that, for effective sugar dating, it’s best to say that you’re married and intend to stay that way. Very few women, in sugar world or real life, want to break up a marriage or even contribute to it, particularly if there are kids. They’d rather have a guy with the strength of mind to compartmentalize and figure out a way to handle his domestic responsibilities while still having his masculine fun. They don’t really want a guy who says he’s planning to leave his wife, with the unspoken implication, maybe you will be next?

TXSB: Checking with my fake wife on the status of us as SD/SB

JSO: If I can get my wife to approve of my SB then I am a stud!

AM: Just getting myself in trouble on the blog…so nothing new.

ElegantSugarsays:

Taylor: Hog my attention?! Funny. You asked for advice, Taylor and no one else was giving it to you so I took the time. That’s all. I’m a talker and a inherently a therapist. Not doing it for attention. But, I digress.

IPERSONALLY wouldn’t want to be a man’s safety net when he is unhappily married and has all intentions of leaving his wife. You are putting yourself at risk of becoming his obsession. After the marriage is over, regardless of how YOU feel about him, he may feel you owe him something because “he left his wife for you.” Even if he had every intention of leaving her BEFORE meeting you, having you in his life makes him feel safer about doing so. JUST MY OPINION – for what it’s worth.

I don’t get the Tom Cruise fuss. I never thought he was attractive. (please don’t hit me!)

Taylorsays:

I hate to hog your attention, Elegant, but… what is so bad about being a man’s safety net, if I’m getting what I want out of the arrangement? I don’t care that much about HIM or have any fantasies about HIM, so ….who cares if he does about me?

ElegantSugarsays:

Ok, Flo, maybe you can clear up the mystery I have about John Travolta. I met him and wife Kelly at an event. Up close, shaking his hand, his hair looked like spray-on hair from the men’s club of America! Is it? I even have a picture I took of him that day and I have looked at it many times concluding, “yep, spray on hair.” I agree with you about Kelly. B-E-A-U-T-F-U-L! And talk about someone aging gracefully! She could write the book.

TXSBsays:

Hi to everyone who’s on!

SDN:
LOL…..well, if your “fake wife” approves, I will consider giving you a chance since you’re supposedly a “stud”! 😉
————————————————————————

Gemini:
Thank you and yes, I have moved on. But I admit to having “bad days” now and then. And BTW, I actually have a glass of wine in my hand so I’m joining you and NEOhioSB on that toast…..
————————————————————————

Delyn:
I think all women have been with a man like that at one point in their lives. That’s why we can relate first hand…..as for ex, nah….he will never “get” it b/c he enjoys the drama. Some people are like that….out of boredom in their lives, they purposely seek out drama to amuse themselves. And then women feel like idoits and get angry b/c we were fooled…..But as I told Gemini, although I do have my “bad days”, I have moved on……karma has a funny way of balancing things out in life.
———————————————————————–

Re: Tom Cruise
Despite all the stories, I still think he’s hot. *runs away in shame*

Flo Ridasays:

Muse – I admire Kevin Spacey as he’s openly gay, and I was so disappointed when I found out Rupert Everett was gay because he was openly gay in my gym in London (i had a crush on him). I can’t understand why John Travolta is gay as Kelly Preston is one of the top 5 most beautiful women in the world (in my book). Oh well.

ElegantSugarsays:

Flo – I have heard the rumors of the (alleged) male escorts or male porn stars or something leaking about Mr. Cruise. Still, this doesn’t deter me from salivating over his Maverick character on Top Gun. No interest in any of his other characters though.

Photogirl – I have many, many toasts I heard from my dad. Most of them a lady should never repeat! But one night when you and I are hanging out at the jazz club again (avoiding Cowardly Lion), I will share them with you over a cocktail!

Flo Ridasays:

LASB – no comment – but there’s an NDA to just enter his house – i’m not allowed to say what’s occurs in his house or to confirm or deny anything that occured or might have occured there. Reading it was hilarious.

Flo Rida – Have to say it is GREAT to have you back I do love your posts!

LASBsays:

Flo Ridasays:

Elegant – you do know that (allegedly) Tom Cruise is gay don’t you? He has a 25 page NDA to enter his house and his lawyers are scary. I have to insert allegedly to avoid a law suit. But i’m allegedly crazy and I also have the Borat ‘liar liar panties on fire’ legal defense.

photogirlsays:

Elegant – Funny… I’ve heard that toast by the women from my mother!

Anna Mollysays:

Hi SDN! How are you?

Flo Ridasays:

Gemi – amazing simply amazing! I haven’t laughed so much in ages and I live with a bunch of crazy people.

Elegant – you’ll appreciate this living in FL. ‘If you live in Florida, and you’re going to heaven or hell, you’ll pass through Atlanta on a Delta flight.’

IRLSD – below are 3 real life revenge stories – you should be glad this didn’t happen to you:

1 – Wife throws entire wardrobe of husband from top floor of home
2 – Girlfriend drops off boyfriend’s possessions at boyfriend’s flat (UK word for apartment – not flat tire) and phones overseas to a friend in another country – racks up weekend long phone bill
3 – Girlfriend cuts arms off of suits of boyfriend.

Don’t get me started on what Colombian women will do to you.
You sir have gotten off lightly – you live a charmed life.

Apologies if those toasts were too harsh for anyone’s virgin ears. I have wild friends and we like to re-play Tom Cruise Cocktail toasts on hot, summer nights.

Gemini29says:

Elegant – I’m all *droppy jaw face* at the Men’s toast, but I still love it!
OMG, “they still carry the box the cherry comes in!” Priceless! (for everything else, there is Mastercard and Visa) (proud sponsors of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games)

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

TXSB- I just read what you said to GG about intuition and I second what Gemini said about your ex. He does sound like a child in a man’s body. I know it’s hard but usually people get their just desserts. In his case he will probably go through SB after SB until it finally sinks in what he lost.

NEOhio SB and LASB – Cheers! *clink*

LASBsays:

I was slow to the table on this one, but holding up my glass too. Salud!

Taylorsays:

No, no, swedish women are amazing. I just think that russian women age in a way that is noticably different from their sizzling hot youth. But it’s probably just the contrast to how ridiculously gorgeous they were in their prime!

Gemi ~~ I hope you are holding up a good martini…cuz im holding one up right with you and toasting you on that post!!!

Gemini29says:

ElegantSugar- 😀

Musesays:

SDN – Charming men are *never* harmless.

LASBsays:

I still can’t get all this Gaga out of my head, so I’m going to indulge in it and see if that helps. Ugh, this is why I don’t listen to catch dance pop music. I could really go for a sprinkles cupcake around now.

TXSB – Your ex-SD sounds like he was a shmuck, but I think its best to move on. *hug*

How is the rest of the blog doing?

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

** comes back all happy **

NEOhio SBsays:

Taylor ~~ Ha !! Well I am swedish AND russian, so after hearing your post, sounds like i don’t have much to look foward to in my aging process.

Villa ~~ Thinking you are out and about enjoying a wonderful Bday lunch on your special day. Make sure you check your spam…and an email addy of nancymeyer …..* wink wink* Enjoy your bday my special friend.

SDN ~~ In my LOA i am confused…aren’t you the one who had the “fake” wedding with an SB here….and now you are sulking after TXSB without even getting a “fake” divorice???

ElegantSugarsays:

Taylor: – I have repeated most of it in little sprinkles since the Cyber Bermuda Triangle seemed to have swallowed the original one. I was basically telling you to practice caution with bikini lovin’, wine connoisseurin’, African Safarii’n, guilt spillin’, 30-something ex male modelin’, hottie in an expensive suit married SD! I don’t care if he looks like Mr. GQ and can win a cook-off against Thomas Keller. Even if you have slim-pickin’s, don’t settle into being someone’s safety net! But I said it in many more words and paragraphs. Yes, believe it.

Speaking of sprinkles, I always think of Calis SB now when I see or hear that word.

Speaking of Bermuda, has anyone ever stayed at 9Beaches? PARADISE on Earth.

Taylorsays:

just fly off to helsinki and get some of my finnish sweets and chocolates!

Musesays:

LASB – It wasn’t fun but it was funnier to watch him have a panic attack. I was annoyed at the time (goose and gander theory) but it was hilarious five minutes later. And, you’re right, I’m a very private person. It’s not a sign that I don’t like you (quite frankly, I thought you were great!) but simply that I need a bit of time. Don’t be too jealous about the spreadsheet. I suspect Gossip Girl is going to take all the information out and send me the spreadsheet blank for my own filling-in.

SDN – I’m shy. I’ve just been admiring you from afar. Oh, and working (novel concept.)

LASBsays:

Hi SDN – I’m still here lurking.

Muse – wow, all that prying must have been rough. You and NyGent seem to be closed vaults. And you have Gossip Girl giving up the spreadsheet?! Very nice! You are quite the seductress! Looks like you just found yourself an information/mentor Sugar Mama! 😉

In terms of “honesty” I don’t feel like I need to know everything about the guy. I prefer unmarried anyhow, but even still, I’m not going to pry and I appreciate the same courtesy. I don’t feel like there is anything dishonest about limiting the info as to avoid the TMI situation. I really don’t want them knowing all my past and present follies and drama. Isn’t that what NSA is made of? Can’t a girl just shop, dine, party, be swept off her feet, “get her rocks off” and call it a day? To me, that’s what makes these kinds of arrangements so nice. I don’t want to do our dirty laundry together, I want to make magic.

Taylor: You are right about Finnish being from Mars. I was able to speak enough Chinese and Russian (could even read some) when I was there to get by. Finnish? Not a word.

ElegantSugarsays:

Ha ha! True, Taylor. I have a friend who was born and raised in Finland. His last name alone looks like all 26 letters of the alphabet jumbled and isn’t even pronounced the way it looks!

NYC SB – I will send you my email address. I am definitely planning a trip to NYC in February. Just trying to confirm logistics. (Friend waiting to see if his condo is going to be available for me to use….yada yada)

Taylorsays:

SDN, they aren’t bad but they aren’t swedish. Or Russian–you’re right, twentysomething russian babes are hotter than the hinges of hell. They don’t age very well, though. Or it seems that way.

Oh, yes, I’ll be stateside at some point. Or in London. a London met?

and Elegant–learn Finnish??? bwahahahaha whatever. you wouldn’t even recognize the sound of that language as a human language. Sounds like it comes from mars.
But yes, I do speak it. but I’ve been here awhile.

SDN – hmm I always knew you were a stud… its good to get some more confirmation… going to write this in my sugar blog book of knowledge

Flo Ridasays:

Elegant – the large breasts are what Hertz employees describe as ‘nice bonus features’

Elegant – IRLSD – I would add ‘no scratching SD back during sex and no hickeys’.

IRLSD – you need to send your SBs through army basic training. I would say something else about PTSD but OC would yell at me.

Taylor – I was told that expats living in Moscow in the late 1980s-1990s would rather fly to Helsinki then a location in Russia by an international carrier rather than fly directly to Russian city by Aeroflot. Summers and winters must be brutal there – it would screw up my sleep patterns. You have my sympathy. Lastly don’t always focus on income as some SDs have inheritances and can pay an allowance out of capital. Good luck.

Let’s do it in the summer so we have time to learn some Finnish. Rosetta Stone doesn’t even have a Finnish package. Uh oh. Is this a sign?? A red flag? (Sorry, Taylor! Why don’t you come to us?)

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

JSO: Haven’t talked to you in a while my friend! I think you are confusing TXSB having an SD and me chasing after her!

I have been to Helsinki. Great city, stayed out late and almost missed my connection to Saint Petersburg. I don’t agree with Taylor about there not being attractive women in Helsinki but I think your odds are much better in Moscow!

taylor – was trying to be funny , inexpensive russian women

ElegantSugarsays:

How about we have a meet in Helsinki and we all go to Taylor???

Taylorsays:

Wait, I don’t get it. why is he sulking about how much it costs to get to Helsinki? There’s not even anything he wants in Helsinki? Women here aren’t hot. He is in Texas, which is completely full of hotties i’m sure, plus there’s the entire rest of the continental US less than 3 hours away by plane…? Pretty nice positioning in terms of looking for a lady on SA…. nothing to sulk about!’

JSO – Assuming you’d fly business at least, you’re only looking at around 6 grand…and just think of all the trouble you could get in to!

Jamessays:

Hi Sweety Beach! How’s it going in the Great White North?

ElegantSugarsays:

IRLSD – please elaborate on what you mean by “being secretive”. Not telling you where she lives? Works? Whether or not she has a boyfriend? Are you possessive by nature? Not accusing of you that, just trying to understand what you mean. That’s why the blog exists, right? To help each other and discuss things? Just to give you further insight into SBs who only date married men – being one of those myself, perhaps I can lend understanding your way as you pass along insight on the flipside.

I purposely date married SDs for many reasons and one of them is that I DO want to have my own life completely separate from the Sugar World. This doesn’t mean I want to keep things secret from my SD, but it definitely means I am going into the arrangement with the mutual understanding that I will respect your privacy and I ask that you respect mine. I didn’t share a lot about my life with my past SDs until I reached that comfort level with them and a true bond developed. It was in different phases for each one. One of my pot SDs I was very comfortable with from the beginning and we have shared a lot with one another and as a result, have become great friends even though I passed on an arrangement with him.

Are you EXPECTING this “openness” right out of the gate? For me, I want it to happen organically and I will share when I’m ready to share. If the SD asks me something I am not comfortable answering, I will very eloquently tell him I am not comfortable discussing what he has asked and could we please “park” the topic for another time down the road. (In so many words…) This doesn’t mean I am being secretive, just not fully comfortable. It hasn’t presented an issue as of yet. It sounds as though if I were dating YOU, I would have my knees severed right then and there! Ha ha.

He really wasn’t someone I’d be interested in anyways, so no loss.

JSO, it depends on where from. Varies wildly. nonstop roundtrip from JFK can be as little as 375 dollars. depends on many variables.

Taylorsays:

I was being silly, you’re right. Anyone who makes 75k-100k per year is doing quite well for themselves, and I shouldn’t be catty or shallow towards them, but in terms of the kind of sugar I’m looking for, it’s just not feasible. I should have phrased it better.

Taylor – one other thing…as a past blogger pointed out, on his profile, he lists an income well below what it actually is. If it’s someone you might be interested in, it maybe worth a few emails

DC SBsays:

Taylor – I definitely agree with what everyone mentioned above ^ I think it’s okay to be picky with what exactly you’re looking for, but to deem someone “so middle class” because they make 100K a year when you in fact are no where financially near that (hence your wanting to be an SB) is a little bit shallow.
Just politely tell them they cannot meet your SB needs, or that you don’t feel they are the right SD for you. That’s how I approached the income shortfall with men I didn’t think could handle what I felt would be appropriate for me and what I could bring to the table.

What’s his face was totally right about Helsinki. Not a big city or a financial hub, and lots of inexpensive eastern european or russian women.

DC SBsays:

TX – I was born in Killeen. Back in the day, so when drive bys would happen and all sorts of other craziness. But I left when I was in the 1st grade, so I can only vaguely pretend to be a true TXer

VA – As for income I typically don’t look under the 150 range.. Even 250 is tough for me, especially since it seems at least here in our area guys are very cheap with their money (as we discussed on saturday). So if he makes 250 and below, here, chances are he’s only willing to do a 1K per month deal. Which to me seems equivalent to a CL escort making 250 a meet.

I second what Elegant said on the married SDs and fabricating a story. I’ve already got my story down. And it’s rather elaborate. I figured since I was making it up I could be anything I wanted to be, so I took it and ran with it (with help from my SD of course, he helped to keep it at a realistic level). Hahaha. A lot of fun.

As for perfume.. I wear it, but not on my skin, on my clothes. So that’s always a suggestion for the SBs with married SDs.

I never get touchy feely with my married SDs out in public. Ever. That especially meshes with whatever fake story I might have to present. Plus, the wife or anyone else could be scoping the situation from afar before approaching, and so any outward affection that could be considered flirting would be too risky for my SD.

IRLSDsays:

ElegantSugar, you might be right, but being secretive is just not my style. I know I lie to my wife, but she’s the only person I lie to. It’s the only way I can think of to keep the marriage together. But with everyone else, I am totally honest and up-front, incluing with every SB I’ve dated.

ElegantSugar Ha-Ha! As fast as you can write those Erotic stories, I will keep them posted!!!

Sexy Lexiiisays:

hello again all, i decided to pop in again, always interesting to read your blogs!

ElegantSugarsays:

IRLSD: Playing devil’s advocate here…

Perhaps she isn’t intending to HIDE her life from you, as you put it. Rather, she is wanting to ‘hold onto’ an area of her life that is totally separate from the arrangement. She has gone into the arrangement knowing you are married and you are NOT her future, thus believing you expect her to have a life of her own. Just because you are comfortable with sharing everything, does not mean the SB will be. For some people ‘escape’ means being able to talk about EVERYTHING. For others, it may mean “When I’m with you, I don’t want to talk about my life at all and this is true respite from the REAL world for me.”

if he were married i would give him a fake name and then possily discuss him (with relevant time/place/identity details changed) with my friends but they wouldn’t know it if they met him.

i like your plan ms. sugar about discussing the ‘what to do’ well in advance, very smart

TXSBsays:

Muse:
Miss u too! Things have been a bit hectic but hopefully I’ll be back to posting more…
————————————————————-

Flo:
Hey!
———————————————————–

DC SB:
Hi! I’m in Htown. Where did you u grow up?
———————————————————–

Gossip Girl:
Hi! Yes, intuition is a powerful thing. Its a lot like when a man lies to you about the reason for ending a relationship. Instead of having the balls to tell you that he wants to romp with tons of other girls, he makes up a elaborate story and drags it on for over a week……and of course, you ignore all your intuition and believe his lies just to find yourself fooled….oh well……we all learn our lessons right? Just goes to show, even highly educated millionaires who seem angelic are very capable of being cowards IRL.
———————————————————

I’m off to lunch….Later.

TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz)says:

Happiest birthday to you VC!!!!

IRLSDsays:

As you can probably tell, I don’t have much in terms of boundaries. I tell SBs everything about my life they want to know and in as much detail as they want to know it, but not in the sense of asking for them to solve my problems, but to satisfy their curiosity. I know, it’s not smart, but part of my escape is being with someone whom I can be honest with. I do want some degree of honesty in return. If I feel like the SB is hiding her life from me, I start wondering what there is that needs to bee hidden and typically things won’t last.

ElegantSugarsays:

Muse – sounds like he was rather new to the SUGAR world! That’s another good thing about seeking an experienced SD, they really know the ‘rules’ so to speak. Don’t get me wrong, there are PROS to green SDs as well…

Musesays:

Thanks NYC SB. I figured there was a good reason for the delay and wasn’t going to pester you about it. Well…not today anyway…. 😀

Musesays:

I once met with a married pot who asked me loads of personal questions, some of which I declined to answer, but got incredibly spooked when I asked him a few things about himself and his life. He emailed me later apologizing for prying into my life so much and then freaking out about my asking questions. I believe he deleted his profile shortly thereafter, but it is worth thinking about how much you’re willing to share with the other person before starting the conversation and establishing personal mental boundaries. I think he regretting talking about his wife/kids to me, but I appreciated his fairness in realizing he had pried quite heavily into my personal life without a willingness to reciprocate and taking the time to reconsider his comfort level with this sort of arrangement.

I owe you a spreadsheet muse… I promise to send it tonight … I had a wondering bf last night around me so I wouldnt dare go near my super hiden sugar stash

James – My married SDs have never really discussed their married life with me either. They are looking for an arrangement for one reason or another. It is not my responsibility to judge this decision nor to question their motives. They hold up their end of the bargain and I will ensure they get that “escape” they need.

Gossip Girl I never meant to imply you weren’t right or didn’t have the right guy. I know you know everything about everyone. That’s why I value your advice so much.

Beach_Girlsays:

James!!!! How are you? 😀 Glad to see you back on the Blog!

ElegantSugarsays:

IRLSD: Great points. I always have a conversation with my pot married SDs about PDA and what is appropriate for them and acceptable. I also have the conversation about how we should introduce one another if we run into someone I/he knows. I was all the way out west with my last SD and we ran into someone he knew quite well!! AWKWARD. But we both handled it quite well because we had those important conversations about ‘what to do if…” way early on.

More tips for dating married SDs:

– Ask about appropriate times to communicate via phone/text. Some may not want you calling/texting after 5:00 p.m. on weekdays. Always assume weekends are family time and ‘no contact’ time – UNLESS he has stated otherwise.

Taylor, I don’t think being a virgin is a plus in sugar-dating. Sounds like drama. You know, to be an SD IRL, you have to be a realistic SD.

Jamessays:

I don’t talk about my wife or marriage except in general terms. Just a boundary I have. Most of the time, the SB’s are just as happy not to get into that, they are more comfortable with it as an abstraction rather than a reality. The point is to escape all that, anyway. I don’t want my SB to be my therapist! I want to have fun.

Helsinki: not a big city, not a financial city, just a hydrofoil away from St. Petersburg and Riga (in other words, endless low-cost Eastern European competition).

IRLSDsays:

A few points of etiquette that SBs should consider when with a married SD:

1. No perfume. On Friday, the SB had so much perfume that I had to have all four windows of my car open to try to get rid of it and then run to the shower without getting within 20 feet of my wife.

2. Dress properly, especially with an older SD so it doesn’t look like he is with a hooker. Dress like Pretty Woman after the make-over, not before it.

3. Let him decide what level of PDA is appropriate. For example, it is not appropriate to be with a married SD at lunch a 1 minute drive from his wife’s work and then latch onto his arm and continue to do so even after he tells you not to because you are likely to run into someone who works for his wife. Realize that if you’re caught, the SD will deal with the drama at home but that typically the SB relationship will end, not the marriage. And if you say, “It’s no big deal if we’re caught,” don’t go crying on the blog about why your intelligent and realistic SD dumped you.

Just wanted to give a nice nudge…..just in case….

ElegantSugarsays:

I would never mention or question their income in an email response. I’m not in charge of their budget, so what do I know? If he offers an allowance that seems questionable based on his income, I might want some reassurance that he is reliable. Not quite sure how as I haven’t had that situation come up, but I probably wouldn’t go into an arrangement with any kind of financial doubt anyway.

VA SBsays:

I agree with Elegant – it would simply be one type of arrangement….

To answer my own question. No, I don’t think I would ever tell someone that they don’t make enough, but I would ask what type of arrangement they’re looking for. If it doesn’t fit with my expectations, then I would let them know that unfortunately, we’re looking for different things, e.g., I’m seeking a monthly allowance in addition to gifts, so thanks – but no thanks. But would I mention their income? No, probably not. If they have disposable income to spend on me, then that’s something they would have to deal with.

Plus, there’s nothing wrong with middle class :-). Although that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t clap my hands in glee and do a little dance if I found an SD who is a millionaire….. Just my $0.2

NYC SB…you know what they say about “great minds…” Ha ha!

Taylorsays:

IRLSD, she wasn’t a virgin.

lol Elegant…

I think we mistake allowance for “getting it”

A man may get it without ever paying an allowance… he might be uncomfortable with a cash exchange but is willing to take you travelling or give you out of this world gifts… get gets the game but instead of being an Allowance SD he is more of a Travel/Gifts/Experience SD 😀

ElegantSugarsays:

Taylor – I have actually met some SDs on here who are NOT willing to pay a monthly allowance because to them it feels like paying for sex. (Their words, not mine.) They would rather provide just gifts and trips. Some profiles will even state they are not seeking to pay a monthly allowance. On the flipside, I have met SBs who don’t want a monthly allowance and only want shopping trips and expensive items they normally wouldn’t be able to afford. All arrangements are different. So, it doesn’t mean they don’t “get it”, if they are against a monthly allowance, it just means that is not the arrangement they are seeking. Make sense?

TXSB – I was walking around NYC this morning and I saw this young woman and I thought to myself “She would make a great SB . After all my intuition is always on point. xoxo Gossip Girl

IRLSDsays:

Taylor asked, “How do ya’ll handle SDs who wanna complain about their marriage?” I try to keep my marriage out of my SB relationships, but most SBs will ask how my marriage is on the first date and so I tell them exactly how it is. Other than that, they might hear some random stories that include my wife.

Now if an SB is careless about showing off our relationship in public, then my wife will eventually get wind of what happens and the SB relationship will have to end. I had one SB and my warnings to her about this reality never seems to deter her, but you know, she can’t be all bitter about the relationship ending when she was warned many times that we’d get caught.

I guess I am not looking for a shrink to discuss my marriage. Polish SB was like that–kept wanting to talk about my marriage and to fix it on our second date, so that was the end of her. I don’t need some 22 year old virgin telling me how to deal with a compliex marriage.

Taylorsays:

Well, it’s just that pickings are slim, and I do *like* him. He’s brilliantly intelligent, charming, confident, and a true true true gentleman. He looks amazing in his expensive suits. He used to be a model himself. I wouldn’t need to fake a thing with him, I’d just be into it and enjoy myself as he cooks for me, teaches me about wine and art, offers great conversation, etc…… plus he wants to pay m y bills. Why not just say, ‘ok, but let’s just keep things strictly between the two of us, no overlapping our lives whatsoever, and if you can live with that, then I’m in.’

In amusing other news, I get an email here on SA from someone VERY far away and 30 years older than me, saying he finds me appealing and wants me to check out his profile. He makes between 75-100k and is worth 250k-whatever (so, totally middle class) and says

If you ever did want to visit here, I would be willing to cover your travel expenses. But I wish you the best.

I respond:

I’m hoping for a regular arrangement, with allowance + travel, and I just don’t see how you’d be able to swing that, at your income levels. I hate to be so crude, but it’s not a one-off thing I’m seeking,but rather something special, sustainable, and longer term…

And he responds:

I wish you all the best:) I hope you find what you seek. I am more about quality time spent together, the allowance thing is not something I am interested in anyway. Take care and be happy.

What a nice guy, yes, but my jaw is hitting the floor. He is looking to date minus any allowance, and he chose SA as the site to use? I thought at LEAST men on this site were ‘down with the program’ of a monthly allowance. Sheesh. I am having a hard enough time finding men I can get to become SDs that I meet IRL, and figuring out how to get them on board with being a true sponsor with monthly allowance, and now the men on SA don’t all get it either?

Taylor – I would pass on him as well. Baby, guilt, becoming completely enmeshed with his company, wanting to meet your mom, only been 4 days? Not good.

ElegantSugarsays:

Flo: I applied at Hertz once. They didn’t hire me because my boobs were too big for those ugly vests.

DC SBsays:

Beach – it’s quite alright. Like I was telling Deyln, now we’ve gotten her to come out of lurking just because of the mix up

VA – I can’t believe it’s so WARM AND SUNNY here. Boggles my mind. I just stepped out to lunch with the SD (like I told you via text) and almost died of a heat stroke! (I was in a winter coat) Hahaha. Not doing anything spectacular for my hair either (humidity sucks).

DC SBsays:

Hi TXSB =) where in TX are you from? I was originally born there. Good ol’ Lone Star country.

ElegantSugarsays:

Well, Taylor, the extra-marital girlfriend minus the nagging, plus the financial help IS, IN FACT an arrangement. However, he wants more than just that based on the story you shared! In four days, he has shared your photo with his best friend and talks about you all the time? He can’t sleep? Imagining you picking up his daughter in a bikini so the other dads’ jaws drop is a wonderful FANTASY, but seems he doesn’t want to leave it at just that and wants to make it a reality! His actions all point to seeking future wifey. A married man seeking a healthy arrangement (by true definition of what an arrangement is) will keep his family totally separate. (In my opinion…)

Follow the arrangement credo, my dear: “You have your life. I have my life. And (sometimes) we have OUR life.” It should be that simple.

Flo Ridasays:

VC – i’ll take 2nd. Btw kindly keep my b-day secret. Tmi already

TX – SB – missed you muah

DC now Delyn – i’ll always support u darlin

Sbnxtdr – I really work at Hertz and everything else is a lie. I never said I went to spy school or army. My job at Hertz allows me to meet spies, armed services personnel, models, business people. I also have an overactive imagination but will do my best to take more meds and tone the story telling down. Also all advice is caveat emptor.

ESB (i think?) – an old hag in runway modelling is late 20s early 30s – lots of teens now – 5ft9 and weigh 100lbs but depends on show-gig to be honest.

NYGent – why do you prefer the Gansevoort over Soho Grande? Clearly both are nice.

Muse – guess you don’t like Omikase. i’ll just have to try Zuma. PS my miami friends tell me the EPIC in miami had some food quality issues – yuck.

ElegantSugarsays:

I tried re-wording practically the entire thing and it still didn’t post! I can’t imagine it would have been flagged – I have said some things before that would have been flagged waaaay before anything I said to Taylor would be. Hmmm. Oh well.

Glad it stopped raining for you VA! A promising good hair day ahead for you. (No pun intended.)

Musesays:

Hi TXSB! How are you doing? I’ve missed chatting with you.

Taylorsays:

I guess this is yet another sticky point in finding SDs from places other than SA.

Sigh.

You’re right, I don’t think he’s approaching this in terms of an MBarrangement or something NSA. I think he thinks that him paying my bills will be purchasing the luxury of having a extra-marital girlfriend who will never nag about how much time she gets to see him or whine about *when* is he going to leave his wife….. Whine-free mistress, LOL ….which is actually quite close to an arrangement, but in this case, he actually seems to believe himself that his present wife is NOT in his future, and it’s only a matter of timing in terms of leaving her, and I see on his face that he imagines ME to be his future. And we’ve known each other 4 days and already he’s been unable to sleep or eat due to infatuation. Very immature behavior for a 36 year old. Is this why you date over-50-year-old-men only? They are more stable and reliable?

I said hello, ISO and I meant JSO! oops. Guess I was flustered from trying to repost a comment to Taylor multiple times! Geeez.

ElegantSugarsays:

Yay! WIIIINNA!!! (That’s what I shout at the Blackjack table…in my best Asian accent when I win a hand. Ha ha!)

ElegantSugarsays:

Ha ha. I just tried to re-word and send again. SO STRANGE. In short, I was trying to tell you, Taylor, to run for the hills!! This guy is NOT just searching for an arrangement – it sounds like he is searching for wifey #2 and has placed you at the top of the candidate list! Wanting to meet your mother? Wanting you to be in his baby daughter’s life?? That is just beyond an arrangement! Remember why you signed up for SA in the first place, darlin’! I said so much more than that…but let’s see if this little bit goes through.

Well, not that I know or anything….just wondering why they wouldn’t have posted yet…

TXSBsays:

JSO:
I have no idea why or how you thought I had a new SD, but as far as I know……lol…..I’m still “single”.

ElegantSugarsays:

Taylor: I was basically trying to give you my feedback and say there are many, many ‘red flags’ in your story that would make me run for the hills!! You signed up for SA with your own needs in mind and it sounds like this guy is not just looking for respite and an exciting time outside of his marriage. Instead, he is looking for possible Wifey #2 and has placed you as the number one candidate. He wants to meet your mother??? His desire for you to meet and be a part of his baby daughter’s life is NOT HEALTHY (in my opinion). Also, I can see the ‘fantasy’ of having a hot young girl in a bikini as a ‘trophy’ while the other dads’ jaws drop, but he needs to leave it at just that – A FANTASY. IT’S AN ARRANGEMENT you want so be sure and remember what YOU want too, not just his wish list. Just remember these credo, dear: “You have your life. I have my life and sometimes, we have OUR life.”

Maybe they’re “reviewing” it and until they release the message, it won’t allow you to post a response to Taylor. Just a thought….

TXSBsays:

ElegantSugar:
I’ve had that problem before…..I just re-word the post and then post it. I’m not sure why that happens.

TXSBsays:

Muse:
Hi!
—————————————————–

VA SB:
Sorry about the break up….I was there myself not too long ago. And yes, as SBs, we’re in this together and fighting the same “battle”…lol. By now I’ve told a few VERY close friends about sugar dating, and yes, being able to talk to them and also talking to other SBs on this blog and reading the stories helps a lot!

*test*

I have tried FOUR times to post a comment responding to Taylor and it keeps telling me, “duplicate comment”. STRANGE. Is anyone else having issues?

VA SBsays:

TXSB – hey, we’re all in this together, right? I’m a down slope since I had me and SB broke off this weekend (not happy about it, but necessary). This blog keeps me going…plus, there are some great stories and banter.

Gossip Girl – I’m not attracted to his profile or his photos so I was going to “next” him anyway, but it’s nice to know I’m doing the right thing.

VA SBsays:

Well, it’s stopped raining here in VA, so I’m a happy camper right now…hate the rain…it messes us my hair

TXSBsays:

Lexii:
You’re right….lol. I just some posts and skimmed through others….but I give up on being totally caught up!
————————————————————–

Flo Rida:
If/when you read this, I just wanted to let you know that I’m very happy to have you back on the blog. I missed your posts….
—————————————————————

On a total side note:
I’m grateful for friends on the blog and in IRL. SD search is not the most fun at time and it’s realistic for me to need some emotional support at times. So while my SD search continues, thank you to those who always tell me to keep my chin up and smile.

Catching up on blog but wanted to say “Hi’ meanwhile….

Beach_Girlsays:

CA~ it’s noon here lol… Been awake a while!!!! Hey are you going to the LA meet?

Taylorsays:

Hey ya’ll. It took me about two hours to catch up on the blogs! Whew!

I have really enjoyed the discussion on ‘typical’ vs. ‘exceptional’ arrangements, as well as the ‘taking money to make money’ discussion about how you can avoid having to shell out tons to put yourself in the way of pot SDs, IRL, and which areas you can’t easily avoid. I love the idea of hanging out in posh neighborhoods, as well as going for a walk/run there during times of the day that a pot might not be working.

I think a huge part of my wondering if I’ll settle for local married pot SD or hold out and hope that things come through with non-local & single pot SD that I am so smitten with, anyways, is a lot about wanting an exceptional arrangement vs. a traditional one.

Local, married, pot SD spent last night cooking for me, and it was divine. Divine!! Wow, that man really is a gourmet chef. He’s so passionate about everything he’s into. Art & Wines, in particular. He’s a real oenophile and a major art buff. He wants to take me to the city’s picasso exhibit tomorrow or the next day, and he wants to teach me all about art history. He wants me to learn all about wines. He wants to take me to africa (he has had many trips and has done many safaris down there, and has contacts) to see the ‘big 5′ and maybe even seek some endangered gorillas on a special guided tour of Uguanda and Rwanda. He’s just so excited about a potential future with me! It’s charming. We stayed up talking for so many hours, and then before leaving, he cleaned my kitchen spotless, after his mess making dinner. I just think he could teach me so much, and I’ll be so happy I invested some time with him. He’s also offering to introduce me to some great clients and colleages of his, and use my events company’s services exclusively for whatever needs his firm or his clients may need. He’s also offering to pay my living expenses if I choose to go that way, and it would involve lunchtime visits together at museums, or after-work drinks in bars, and, only very occasionally, evenings. I like the idea of packaging things up in such a way that I just overbill like crazy for planning some event for his firm or for one of his clients’, and he happily gets ‘taken advantage of’ and pays me way too generously for work I genuinely do for his company. And I could totally imagine enjoying the intimacy side of things, as rare as those moments (some sort of daytime date, occaisonally) would actually be, since he has a wife watching him like a hawk and evenings/weekends are typically out. My evil mind is imagining that I’d have plenty of time and freedom to juggle another sugar relationship, for sure, since this arrangement (whether pacakged as his firm being billed or whether it’s cash in hand) is merely typical, not terribly extravagant….

The sticky side? He wants me to meet and hang out with his baby daughter with him sometime, like at baby swimming class he goes to. He imagines me having a bond with his child. He also loves the idea of me wearing a sexy bikini to this in-the-pool event and having the other dads drop their kid along with their jaws when they see me walk up to the pool. Silly 36 year old man who is thinking like a 16 year old. He has, since our first meeting, been talking about meeting my mother when she is in town next. He told me he has told his best-friend-since-childhood about me and how I’m the most amazing woman he’s ever met, shown my photo, and that he hasn t’ been able to stop smiling at work and he thinks everyone knows why. He says a divorce is imminent, that the marriage will NOT last, but I don’t ask when/why/etc. He has also taken a phone call from his wife while with me, in private, and then afterwards seemed guilty and said ‘she doesn’t deserve this.’ And I asked him directly if he wants time to consider whether or not he is ready to be unfaithful to his wife before I waste anymore time deciding about him, and he said absolutely not, he is ‘in it’ with me 100%, just feels a bit crappy about his crappy marriage.

How do ya’ll handle SDs who wanna complain about their marriage? Talk about a non-fun way to have a sugar date.

But it didn’t last too long. Thank goodness. I really don’t care about his marriage, the beautiful architect wife he is actually married to, or this woman’s infant daughter! I don’t want this guy to have fantasies about marrying me someday when he’s single, or being a stepmom to that little girl. This is not sugar at all. And it’s not an exceptional arrangement he’d be able to offer me, anyways (he’s not RICH, just well-off and has a successful company), which is of course what I am hoping for.

The guy I’m actually head-over-heels for, far away, hasn’t communicated with me in a few days and I have a feeling that it’s tapering off into nothing. And I’m sad about it, definitely. He would be the one offering an exceptional arrangement, if an arrangement commenced, and the fantasy definitely excites me. I guess local talent has turned his head and he is thinking of the ease of having someone in his city since he has no wife to hide things from, and enough money (and intelligence & charm, and nice looking) to throw around to attract anyone. Sad, sad, sad.

I guess I’m feeling like spending money to do the SB thing successfully is indeed unnecessary, as I haven’t spent anything, worn thrift store clothes and non-manicured hands, and seem to get plenty of infatuation my way with my poise, charm, charisma, and intelligence. Then again I’m a genius with finding treasures at thrift stores and putting them together/accessorizing them and looking great on a dime.

i guess they are DC and if they arent………..they have the wrong name haha

CA Dreamin SBsays:

Morning all – I’m not even going to try to catch up…

IRLSDsays:

The 30 minutes is because I meet her at 3 when I get off and she has to be at work at 5 at a place about an hour and a half away, which leaves us 30-45 minutes. But in an e-mail she said that 30 minutes was plenty of time to do what we arranged.

I think I’ll just leave it at that with her and say this is too much drama if my wife suspects things, so it’s best if we avoid things.

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Hey DC SB…no worries at all! Makes more sense for you to have it since you are from DC.

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Hi Villa! Hi Elegant!

IRLSD- first off it is so obvious to everyone but you that this gal is going to be trouble. Wonder why you refuse to see that?

The other thing is that when I run scenarios with guys I date or pot SDs with friends and I start saying things like “I just don’t understand why he did this” or “I just can’t imagine what he is thinking” my good girlfriends bitch slap me into reality. Basically they say it doesn’t matter what they are thinking, their actions speak louder than words. Just go with that!

If she IS making this up, well you are really setting yourself up for some major heartache number one and possible damage to your marriage. She sounds like a whack-a-doo…move on man! Think with the big brain for a change LOL (sorry could not resist)

Lexiii – ah okay. I have a friend from the DC area that also uses your sn. I guess Lexis are always sexy everywhere =)

Sexy Lexiiisays:

DC i am from NY

DC SBsays:

Deyln – thanks for the clear up. Sorry to have accidentally taken your name. I only joined the blog about a week ago. But! At least the mistake got you to come back out & join the rest of us =)

Villa – I loooove Tuscany as well. And Southern Italy, the food is amazing! Tuscany is beautiful and has amazing food, wine, art. But Northern Italy is where the fashion is & I’ve wanted to ski the alps that line the northern border. Sigh, nostalgia =)

SBnxtdoorsays:

IRLSD– She could be really bad news, as in blackmail.

ElegantSugarsays:

I’m just curious as to why the strict 30 minute policy? Is she enforcing this because it’s her lunch break? How will you two ever really connect with such little time? I guess it probably adds a level of mystery and excitement to the deal, but still…

Beach_Girlsays:

Niki~ Congrats Girl… I didn’t know!

A drama queen loves drama for the sake of having it in her life. While most people choose not to be associated with petty issues she needs them to make her life feel full. She needs constant attention which is a direct consequence from causing drama.

IRLSD: I think she is keeping you INFATUATED. Ha ha!

IRLSDsays:

But what does a drama queen get out of this? I just can’t get myself into that mindset.

VillaCyprissays:

Ooooooooooooo NEOhio…. I think I’m going to *really* like this…. 😉

Thanks, Niki! Yea, it was quite the game! Not the outcome we wanted,,, but c’est la vie. :/

DC SB – love Tuscany, too! I have a family member living in Florence, so hope to get there to visit this year as well! Sicily is one of my favourite areas of Italy, especially Taormina. Romantic to a “T”! or “R”. haha

Elegant – sorry.

Delyn! Great to see you…. hope you’ve been well! Feel better! xx

IRLSDsays:

I think she might be wanting me to say, “I don’t care. I just want to see you anyways.” But I won’t. Instead I told her, “Yeah, sounds like we’ll be getting ourselves into too much drama if it’s my wife.” I wasn’t even going to see her again, but she was so pushy last night over texts that I agreed to meet her one more time.

Of course she deleted the text right away. But I agree, this is typical drama queen stuff.

Delyn *427264* formerly DCsays:

Oopsie, forgot I have a new profile # these days

Delyn *320283* formerly DCsays:

Hi everyone-

Just thought I’d pop in and clear up the confusion. Going to use the name Delyn on the blog in the future which combines my first and middle names.

I’m the DC from last year, not to be confused with DC SB. I will retire my DC since I hardly blog much these days mostly just lurk. Haven’t had an SD in a while so not much to blog about.

Hi DC SB! The D & C are my initials, I am not from DC, but from Seattle and I think I am the only SD or SB on the blog from Seattle. If anyone else is from the Seattle area please ask Stephan for my e-mail address.

Hi Villa and Beach (two of the loveliest women on the blog)!

Okay, back to bed. Came down with a bad cold 2 days ago. Mostly gone thanks to an old folk remedy, but still not feeling 100%

Oh and happy birthday Villa!!

ElegantSugarsays:

VC: I reside in “Sunnyvale, Florida” where the sun shines 360 days of the year!! ha ha. Actually, I prefer not to mention the city on this blog, but would be happy to communicate it to you via email. You will have to try to make the Florida meet when we actually get one together!

NYC SB: You look like you might be on your way to a book with that blog! I love it!

Villa – I just asked because I used to live in Tuscany and absolutely love Italy I wish Italy would adopt me and make me one of their own! Haha =)
I haven’t been up North though, except for Venice.

Nikisays:

Happy birthday VC. Sorry your team lost, but boy what a game to see.
Beach–Nope, I’ve already met someone. How about you?

NEOhio SBsays:

Villa ~~ Awww…you know i feel the same…but now it is especially appropriate after what NYSB wrote about Mr. Farve bringing you a bday cake….. *wink wink* ( yes im still on that short bus with james m….)

DC SBsays:

ESB – I noticed that most pot SDs I talked to on SA from our area hovered around the 2K – 4K range for meeting 4 times a month. However I would say most tended tended to be 2K – 3K with only a few being 4K.