The Real Story: My rise & fall through it all: my struggles with finding happiness and love while fumbling through depression. Finding success, wealth, and notoriety while encountering equal, if not greater, failures and errors in judgement. Then finding myself somehow discovering and recapturing love and other things I had lost along the way. And in all of this, I have now realized what I sacrificed and those I hurt by paying the ultimate price; the Dao of Chris.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

“Perhaps, if you weren’t so busy regarding my shortcomings, you’d find
that I do possess redeeming qualities, discreet as they may be. I notice
when the sky is blue. I smile down at children. I laugh at any innocent
attempt at humor. I quietly carry the burdens of others as though they
were my own. And I say ‘I’m sorry’ when you don’t. I am not without
fault, but I am not without goodness either.” -Richelle E. Goodrich

Sunday, February 15, 2015

With time, distances between celestial objects
increase because the universe stretches and continues to expand
exponentially. In essence, it means that the universe has a specific
plan...even if we do not realize it.

In a way, we are all
indispensable pieces that operate this machine of high-precision that
our world is. There is no fate. It is sad to say, but it has all been
written...planned well in advance. We are only accomplishing our task,
so that the universe can continue existing and growing.

Free
will is an illusion. Having the feeling that you make a decision when
you put one foot in front of the other, gives us that satisfying feeling
that we have control over our lives. However, life is like a horse that
you simply cannot tame.

It would only require one cog to
turn away from its role for this well-oiled machine to loose control and
cause its entire destruction. And for the moment, I have its destiny
in my hands.

In the end, happiness, misfortune, wealth,
and poverty are all insignificant and have no importance. What makes the
substance of an existence is not what we live, but the way we picture
our life.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Escape is always offered as a kind of fantasy, divorced from this
world... whether it's Disneyland, religion, or one's own idea of
happiness. I have had my own moment of truth: I also want to be free and
happy. But I am unable to detach myself, so I run... fueled by my two
competing desires: to escape this world I have been carrying on my
shoulders and to be worthy of this world.

It is here that
we obtain a deeper understanding. The world is not simply some romantic
postcard notion of life. It is difficult and sad. Infused by death. It
requires something from us. It is the context of death that provides
value to these fleeting moments. But the world is also full of everyday
moments that mean something. Moments that connect us to one another.
Moments that we will remember forever. Moments that might very well mean
the world.