[quote=chubby49;58978] I've got 40 lbs to lose,but then when I want 2 do the deed oh he's tired or he's not in the mood.I do have high sex drive but I truly think I do'nt turn him on so he said who is in the same boat as I and with a man who has a problem with there man thinking just has a problem with women of size

[quote=chubby49;58978] I've got 40 lbs to lose,but then when I want 2 do the deed oh he's tired or he's not in the mood.I do have high sex drive but I truly think I do'nt turn him on so he said need to fine a friend who is in the same thing with there man, haveing a problem with wemon of size

Does he maybe need Viagra? Just a question. You know as we get older a man's sex drive or at least his ability to perform can diminish, women on the other hand may actually notice an increase in their sex drive. Maybe it's not your size that's at the heart of the issue. Although I suppose it would be easier for a man to blame the woman than to confess he has performance issues.

Too tired or not in the mood? These are poor excuses. I suggest you have a sit down with him and have a talk so you both are on the same level about what really is going on. It may be his sex drive or it may actually be an issue with your weight but ignoring the situation won't help anything. Overall please don't blame yourself for this, he needs to be open about his reasons why.

I know that when I was bigger (or 50 lbs. ago), I still had sex at the same frequency as I do now with my BF. Since I've lost weight, he says he appreciates my body more (as in, he finds it more visually appealing) but that he never found me ugly, or un-sexy, and never used it as an excuse to not have sex, even if he may have hoped I'd lose some pounds.

If it truly is because you've got a little extra weight, then he needs to be able to say that without being insulting or condescending. He needs to be encouraging or it's not going to help anything - just my two cents It may be due to another reason entirely as almeeker pointed out, but either way you need to be able to have a respectful and open conversation about it.

My ex husband? that's one of the reasons he's an ex. During an argument he once said that I never kept my promises, the one being me losing weight. I think that was the deal-breaker right there. I put up with him far too long. Beware of shallow self-centred men. You deserve better.

I know that when I was bigger (or 50 lbs. ago), I still had sex at the same frequency as I do now with my BF. Since I've lost weight, he says he appreciates my body more (as in, he finds it more visually appealing) but that he never found me ugly, or un-sexy, and never used it as an excuse to not have sex, even if he may have hoped I'd lose some pounds.

If it truly is because you've got a little extra weight, then he needs to be able to say that without being insulting or condescending. He needs to be encouraging or it's not going to help anything - just my two cents It may be due to another reason entirely as almeeker pointed out, but either way you need to be able to have a respectful and open conversation about it.

Very Well put. I have been married for 18 yrs. We have one of the most active sex lives of anyone that I know...not to brag. But I know that at times it has been uncomfortable due to not being able to achieve certain positions. And I know that now that I have lost 50 pounds I am more visually attractive. That is true even to myself though so it has to be true to him. I have always asked him if he wanted me to lose weight and he would say that he wished I was healthier, he didn't care what size I was. <~~ perfect answer, BTW.

I hope that you figure out what is going on. I would hate to think that you are correct in it being your size.