The Grapefruit Technique: The Blow Job Tip Cosmo Should've Invented

Everyone rags on Cosmo for that doughnut thing, but that tip is small potatoes (excellent hand job accessory, incidentally) compared to The Grapefruit Technique, courtesy of Chicago-based sexpert Auntie Angel. The technique, above, can be found on her new "Angel's Fellatio Secrets" DVD, which you can buy on Angel's Erotic Solutions, and it is a glory to behold.

I was aware that grapefruits were a good low-cal breakfast, but I guess they're also good for a strict paleo dick diet. Who knew? Supposedly the technique will make him finish in five minutes or less, which is reasonably impressive.

In conclusion, as Angel says at the end of the video, he'll be weirded out at first, but mostly "he'll be thinking, 'I could have been fucking a grapefruit all this time.'" Incidentally, exactly what George Washington was thinking as he crossed the Delaware River.