Why I Hate Baby Slings

As a mother, you receive or buy tons of baby products that you never use. My favorite example is the wipe warmer that you plug in and it heats the wipes for your baby’s butt. Mine never came out of the box. For most who take it out of the box, it never gets plugged in. The wipe warmer is a stupid gift that someone who doesn’t have a baby gets you for your baby shower. But I don’t hate it, I just don’t use it.

Baby slings, on the other hand, I hate. It’s those stupid pouches that women wear to carry their baby cuddled close to their bodies. The most obnoxious thing about baby slings is that women try to make them trendy. You have an infant strapped to your chest, stop trying to be trendy! Buy a cute set of flats, not a carrier to hold a little human being!
I know what all those oh-so-trendy mothers are saying right now, “OMG Lindsay, these super cute slings are so useful! I can coordinate with my outfit, carry my precious bundle of joy close enough to feel their heart beat, and still use my hands to talk on the phone and sip my Non-Fat Chai Latte.” Let me address the issues here. If you weren’t trying to carry your baby around like a purse, you wouldn’t need it to match your outfit. Get a stroller. Yes, you can feel your baby’s heart beat. You can also suffocate it. In fact, Consumer Reports’ Don Mays says, “Don’t use slings at all. There are safer ways of carrying your baby than in a sling.” In you want to be close to your baby, hold it! If you want to do something that needs both hands, put the baby down. It will be ok.

Don’t get me wrong, you can still be attractive when you’re a mother. I have no problem with this. However, your child is not an accessory. They should never be worn like one.