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Mascot Dome of Doom: Florida vs. LSU

Twas the night before the SEC Championship game, When all through the Swamp not a creature was stirring not even Glenn and Mitchell. The coon-asses were passed out by the chimney with care, In hopes that Urban Meyer was really retired.

The gators were nestled all snug in their lairs, while visions of Jefferson interceptions danced in their heads. Les Miles in his footsie pajamas and Muschamp with his stare, were hoping for no problems with players in the ATL.

When out of the Swamp there arose such a clatter, Les Sprang from his bed to see what was the matter. Away from the window he flew in a flash, tore open his pj’s back door to let out a fart.

The moon on the breast of the lazy summer swamp gave the odor of a landfill under thy nose. When what to Miles eyes should appear but a gigantic Gator with eight tiny Erin Andrews carrying its blow.

With a Prison tattoo applied to his neck, he knew it must a gator led by Urban Meyer. Then with swift motion sprang Mike the Tiger, and he whistled and shouted to prevent the gators attack.

“Now Saban! Now Chizik! Now Petrino and Nutt! Oh Spurrier! Oh Richt! on, on Mullen and Dooley! To the Loser column they went. And to you will be next! Now dash away! Dash Away! We conquered them all!

As Katrina victims in the wild hurricane fly, Mike kicked the gator he made him fly. and into the swamp with some curse and some fight, with swamp rats they fight all through the night.

And then in a twinkling, We heard in the swamp, the gnashing and growling from head to tail, and the clothes were all tarnished with blood and sweat. A bundle of championship rings were flung to the side, and they looked like wrestlers all oily and wet.

Mike’s eyes twinkled! his muscles now sore! his cheeks were bruised, and his clothes all tore. The gator jaws were open and wide, with his bleeding chest he looked tie dyed.

Mike swung with his fist and handled his work, and knocked out the gators teeth with one mighty blow. He pulled out a knife, and took the Gators life.

Mike wiped his brow, and gave out a whew, because he knew the battle was through. Miles heard him exclaim, as he was devoering the gator’s heart, “Happy SEC Chamionship to all, and to all goodnight.”