The Family That Tokes Together…

On Saturday Heather and Maddie had some appointments to keep, so I took the opportunity to go see the new Seth Rogan movie, Pineapple Express.

Once I was seated with my gigantic soda – you know, the one that thanks to my refusal to miss any of the movie would seriously damage my kidneys somewhere in the third act – I saw a happy family walking up the aisle toward their seat. The father had his hands on his nine-year-old son’s shoulders, the Mom listened attentively as her seven-year-old daughter chatted away, and it would have been an incredibly sweet, Norman Rockwell-esque moment if it wasn’t for the fact that they were at A MOVIE ABOUT POT!!!

I was weirded out as the family took their seats until I decided that they’d likely bought tickets without knowing what the heck the movie was about. Once the movie started, however, it became clear this wasn’t the case as within the first two minutes a character was smoking a giant joint and graphically pretending to perform oral sex, and the family was yucking it up like they were watching SHREK!!!

I turned around to shoot the dad a “What the F is wrong with you?” look, but he didn’t notice because he was too busy cackling as his son pretended to give a BJ to an imaginary penis just as the actor had on-screen. I, as you can imagine, was horrified.

I tried to my best to forget the Manson family and focus on the movie, and for the most part I was able to because it is a VERY funny comedy, but one for adults. Nevertheless, every once in a while I would hear one of those two kids laughing at, oh, I don’t know, a guy getting shot in the head or Seth Rogan selling pot to some seventh graders, and it creeped me out. I thought for sure that if I turned around I’d spy the family passing a doobie back and forth or something.

Here’s the thing…I’m not prude. I watch “R” rated movies and think Hollywood has every right to make whatever movie they want, but I will not be bringing Maddie to see them until she is mature enough to handle them. I don’t know what age that is yet, but it certainly is a lot older than the kids at the theater on Saturday.

So here’s my question…what age did you/will you allow your kids to watch movies with adult content? Do you think it’s our duty to protect our kids from these movies when they are young? Or AM I a prude who should just accept kids grow up a lot faster today?

Personally….meh. I think it depends on the movie. My babies are still babies, but…personally, I think I’d pre-screen the movie they wanted to see. There’s a big difference between, say…Air Force One (which was rated R, for some reason), for example, and something like the South Park movie or Jackass, which would obviously be totally inappropriate for the young’uns.

My babies are 12, 14, and 15….and haven’t seen an R rated movie. We let them see PG 13 when they were older than 13, but only with us, in case explanations were required, and really, some of those were not the most appropriate. If they wanted to see something we weren’t sure about, we’d see it first…I figure by 17– their about ready to move out…so they can see what they want (and then I cross my fingers, say a prayer and hope all is well in their world…)

I am the least fun mom in the world because I wouldn’t let my daughter see “Dreamgirls” when she was 8. That’s right, I wouldn’t let my pre-teen watch a PG-13 movie. But my take on it is that they are little kids for such a short time, it’s my job not to shorten that period. I promise that I am not affiliated with this site at all, but commonsensemedia dot org (I think) is fantastic in letting you know what objectionable content there is in any movie.

I’m with you. I don’t even let my 7 year old watch Hannah Montana….yet. I’m working on it. There are just some things that I think can wait. They are only kids for such a short time that I think that shoving stuff for the tween set and older down their throats makes them grow up too fast. Of course, I’m also the mom that turned off the Lilo and Stitch movie when Stitch got run over by the 18 wheeler because I didn’t think it was appropriate for my 3 year old. So maybe I’m a prude. Oh well.

Okay, I’m a tad bit older than 9 (but only a tad) and I still don’t want to watch a movie with my parents where someone pretends to perform oral sex, let alone demonstrate my prowess at the sport! OMG! Do you think they hired the kids? or maybe they’re really little people masquerading as children to get in at a discount price! I bet that’s it. Otherwise, it’s just really … bleh! … making my skin crawl.

This is one of those questions that makes me feel totally unqualifed to be a parent because I have no idea when I’ll let my kids watch mature content in movies/on TV/in video games. I guess I’ll just follow the MPA ratings suggestions and my gut and hope that’s good enough.

Ok dude, this totally disgusted me. I know that one day I did make a major boo boo with mine and actually let them sit through Grudge (at home not in theater). Total BAD mommy moment and well I have yet to let myself live it down. Ever since then I have been diligent in seeing ALL movies before my kids, even ones I think are harmless. Case in point, my dd’s wanted to see Pans Labrynth. The trailers made it look like some harmless fairy tale. I am so glad I watched it first, it wasn’t appropriate for my kids at all. I pretty much base it on my own kids. If I think they can handle it and not be freaked out or run around acting like sluts than yea I will let them see it. My oldest is almost 9 and LOVES the Holy Grail. So maybe thats not the best choice, but the most imitation I have seen so far is her yelling “Come back here you pansies! I’ll bite your legs off!”. Would I take her to see Pineapple Express, HELL NO!

I am the same way with video games. My dad gave hubby his old PS Grand Theft Auto. It’s only to be played when kids are in bed and asleep. I have issues with kids playing games where they commit major crimes. Call me weird!

I think it definitely depends on the kid’s level of maturity. Some kids can handle it before others. But to take little guys to a movie that glorifies drug use is just sending the wrong kind of message. I was a little disturbed by that, I’m with ya.

But, when I was a kid I didn’t understand for the life of me why I couldn’t watch some movies. My brother and I used to sneak the movies when we were home alone and not understand what the big deal was. Revisiting those movies as an adult I was SHOCKED at the amount of shit that just flew right over my head! LOL

we are pretty case by case with our kids. there are things they’ve seen that people are all, “are you serious? wtf?” but then there are things i won’t allow them to see…THe Dark Knight, for instance, which my five year old is DYING to see…

It’s crazy how some people take kids that age to movies that are completely inappropriate. I see it all the time. But I don’t know what’s more annoying — having to be all judgemental about a kid seeing a grown up flick or having to listen to the kid talk the entire time.

Willow says:

I’ve been a lurker on this blog for ages but I just had to comment on this post. I’m with you guys on this. No way should those kids have been in that cinema. What certificate is this film anyway? My girls are nearly 12 and we rarely go to the cinema but all films they watch at home on dvd have to be seen by myself or my partner first. There are enough films out there for them to watch that are suitable, why rush things?

Jamie says:

That is seriously questionable parenting – although recently I had been questioning my parenting skills because my 4 year old could sing the works that freakishly annoying “Low” song – come on, you know the one –

Shawty had them apple bottom jeans (jeans)
Boots with the fur (with the fur)
The whole club was looking at her
She hit the floor (she hit the floor)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low
Them baggy sweat pants
And the Reebok’s with the straps (with the straps)
She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (hey)
She hit the floor (she hit the floor)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low

That is just wrong. My 17 year old had to wait for movies like that. With the boys I err on the side of caution. Yes, they have seen some pg-13 movies but they are of the Star Wars ilk, not drugs/super violent, etc. Recently they asked to see the new batman movie and I said no-I’d heard that it was really dark and violent. My theory is that they will have something to look forward to as they get older. Plus, there are some conversations that I just don’t want to have yet. They are only 6 & 8, for pete’s sake!

I would be too busy shooting daggers with my eyes to the parents to enjoy the movie. I was never allowed to see R rated movies EVER. My parents still don’t know I watch them. It is totally the responsibility of the parents to protect their children from filth in movies, on tv, on the street, etc. For me, I won’t let Elizabeth watch racy movies until she’s at least 30. Until then she is only allowed to watch SOFTcore porn. J/K.

If I were there, I would have called child services on the spot. I’m … “It’s shocking. Shocking.” to quote Joan Cuasack in High Fidelity.

LM is ten. And about a year ago we let her watch Back to the Future. I was very uncomfortable with the idea that she would see Biff attacking Marty’s mom in the car, but it turned out that it was more traumatising for me than for her, because I made hubby fast forward. She was raised on PIXAR flicks and PBS. Anything outside of that and it wasn’t allowed. The past year or so, she’s started watching other cartoons, but honestly, she prefers the PBS shows anyday. She’s into our classics – Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, Cosby Show, Labrynth. Wasn’t too thrilled with Gremlins but LOVES Goonies.

Those are okay for kids.

I can’t get how some parents are raising our future. It scares the shit out of me sometimes.

Okay, you’ve pushed a button. This is a huge issue for me. Some parents are just plain selfish and/or stupid. I went to see Sex In the City a month or so ago and a woman sat behind me with her 9 year old daughter. WTF? What, in that movie, WAS appropriate for a 9 year old girl? If you can’t afford a babysitter, see something else. SATC will be around for a very long time, you can watch it to your heart’s content in your retirement home. I have friends who take their kids to see R rated movies, or let their 11 year old girls watch Grey’s Anatomy. I’m sorry, I’m definitely not a prude, but there are certain things – sex, talk about sex, oral sex, etc. that are just not appropriate for kids no matter how sophisticated you think they are. So, to answer your question, I think you’ll know when it’s okay to take Maddie to a not-for-kids movie. Your gut will tell you. And you got years of other stuff to worry about before then – like mean girls, homework, going bankrupt keeping her in style…so relax. Did that help?

Well I’d certainly have liked to have waited later then uh 5 for my child to see anything other then G or maybe PG but thanks to my 13 & 15 year old stepdaughters my little ones have been exposed to Childs Play already.

Quart says:

I don’t know what’s worse: the parents who knowingly take their kids to the gory pot-filled movie or the ones who unknowingly buy them South Park because it’s a cartoon.

My mom was pretty strict about what she let us watch. She either pre-screened everything or kicked me out of the room when she got uncomfortable – like when Kelly McGillis offered to do Maverick on the bathroom counter. She DID let me watch “Stand By Me” when I was 13 or so. I thought I was so cool but the joke was on me because that movie really didn’t need to be rated R.

I have a feeling you and Heather will have a pretty good sense of what you want Maddie watching. And really, after all that Rigby humping she’ll have seen quite a lot already.

Karen says:

Personally I would have rather my son waited to watch many of the movies he has seen. As a single mom I wasn’t given that option, as when he is with his dad he watches whatever he wants to. At age 5 his father allowed him to watch that movie where all the toys and army dudes came to life and killed people. Thus began my frustration.

I asked his dad not to allow him to watch the movies. I think he deleted those many requests from his memory. Now don’t get me wrong, his dad didn’t go waayyyy overboard with the movies. Many of them were just too violent and with strong language. I would ask my son to tell me about the movie and many times he had questions I couldn’t answer because I had not seen the movie.

I decided that instead of letting my son watch these movies with his dad, that he would watch them with me. That way we could have a discussion at the end of the movie. Many times, most of the adult scenarios in the movie went right over his head. However some of those shows led to some in depth and interesting discussions.

If I had the backing of my X, my son would never have been exposed to many of these movies until he is the age he is now (16). That choice was taken away from me, so I decided that I would prefer him to watch them with me. I’m all for those parents who restrict their children’s viewing pleasures.

After a bit of digestion I realize there’s a creepiness factor here. I’m 33 and I would not go to a movie theater with my dad (a cool cat) and make “faux” bj motions with him. Not. Happening. Ever. Maybe, I thought, these were tiny people – and therefore you guestimated their ages a bit wrong. However, even if you were off by 5 years (unlikely), the creepiness remains. Ick.

Call me a paranoid freak but I have no intention of glorifying drug use to my kid at least until he is living outside my home on a permanent basis without my financial help.

I, for one, don’t even plan on telling my kids the TRUTH about the drugs I may or may not have had in my youth. I also plan on telling my kids that I waited until marriage to have sex. Wait, maybe I’ll tell them that I haven’t even HAD sex yet. The stork brought them.

In all seriousness, I don’t even allow my kids to watch commercial television and they are 3 1/2 and 5 1/2. They have never seen the news. I can’t imagine allowing them to watch ANYTHING that has a remotelyadult theme until they are well into their teens. Even then, I am going to struggle with that.

We take it on a movie by movie basis. We have a 13, 7, 3 and 2 yo. We don’t go by the rating on the movie, but more how gory it is or if it has sexual overtones. We let them see Harry Potter (all of the kids have seen all of the movies) bc we know they can handle the “scary” factor and they’re not gory or crude. We usually let them see the “superhero” type things that are rated PG13. But, we try to keep the crude movies censored. Occassionally we make a dumb mistake (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry) and don’t realize what the movie is or how bad it’s going to be until it’s already started. But, we’re smart enough to turn it off at that point.

Some people think we let them see too much, but we like to use things as a teaching experience. So, if it’s something about war (Pearl Harbor) or something we try to teach them about it at the same time.

50-something says:

I agree with you, but I am not surprised. Those parents were probably some of the kids I was horrified to see in R movies 20 years ago. Or their brains may be warped by the drugs THEIR parents did. For people with the “everybody does this” mentality, it apparently doesn’t dawn on them that they are only observing the 1% or less who DO it, because you can’t see all the millions of people NOT doing it (be it drinking, drugs, or taking underage kids to inappropriate movies).

I’m worried about Code Name Alice. She’s already throwing ninja stars at zombie giants and she’s only 2-months-old. Really, they get exposed to this stuff younger and younger every year… I don’t know where she got them. I swear I moved the throwing stars last night….

But seriously, as soon as she understands (and I mean FULLY understands) and can discuss with me the subject matter of anything, that’s when she’s allowed to watch it. But we try to keep her away from TV and movies in general. There are so many other awesome outdoor activities. Like urban survival or Hunt for the Seven Lost Scrolls of Atlantis. Games like that never get old. Some even last a lifetime.

Long answer – I’m not a prude either, but I’m with you 100%. That’s completely irresponsible parenting and one of the 9,000 reasons that people should have to get a license in order to procreate. Having a kid has changed my mind so much about this kind of stuff. Half the time I don’t think I’m qualified to be raising a kid and I’m actually trying.

I’m with you on that. My father-in-law let my son watch “Gunsmoke” when he was four and it took me months to correct the ‘I’m gonna beat you up’ and ‘I’m gonna shoot you’ issue. Oddly it only took me under 30 seconds to correct pap-pap.

They should discover this stuff the natural way…by having a friend who works at the movie theater that will let them into movies they shouldn’t be seeing. At least that way they still know it’s not the right thing to do.

Mine are too small to really want to see anything but Disney stuff and frankly I’d rather pay a baby-sitter than drag them to the movies anyway. So haven’t even really thought about it.

This does bring to mind however a memory of when American Pie first came out and had the fancy new NC-17 rating. Our local theater was being totally vigilant and carding everyone. I have to tell you that being in that theater and knowing that it was all adults made it somehow funnier I think. We were free to be amused and laugh without worrying about what teenager in the next row we were setting a bad example for.

Holy cow, found your site on accident, love it..
K, I have a 4 year old and have a hard time letting him watch Shrek and Madagascar. No, I do NOT think that we should just sit back and let kids grow up so fast!! I’m right there with ya, Hollywood can make any movie they please, it’s not their responsibility to keep children from watching movies about um.. pot. It’s the parents responsibility. I even thought Kung-Fu Panda was a little much for my 4 year old and had to talk to him afterward that what he saw in the movie is not real, otherwise I’m sure I would have gotten a note home from preschool that he’s been practicing his kung-fu moves on billy, bob and susy.
I don’t think he’ll be able to watch “R” rated movies until he’s at least 17, seems a little old to sum, but please, maybe the less he knows about pot and oral sex the less he’ll be tempted to try himself. Worked for me.

Yeah. I had a really time watching CONSTANTINE once I saw a man and his probably 5-year-old son sitting down the aisle from me. That is a really disturbing and scary movie with graphic violence, demons, and scenes depicting hell, and NO child had a place being there. I almost said something to the father- kinda still wish I had.

I vote for Prude. Only because everyone else seems to be telling you that you’re not, so I’m going to stir the pot a bit. No pun intended.

As Quart said, Grandmaother was pretty strict with us. I remember being sent out of the room ALL THE TIME when Dirty Dancing was on. Dirty freakin’ Dancing! And Stealing Home? We watched that once when my parents were out and my sister & her friend made my friend & I leave the room during the BJ scene. But then when THEY left the room we snuck up and watched it.