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ABC Mondays

Activist: For the last few months I’ve been trying to be more active politically, whether that is a rally or a protest, or going to a legislative meeting, or confronting racists/sexists/Cheeto-ists where I find them. Ya’ll, the root word of “activism” is “active” and it’s no joke. It can be emotionally exhausting, yet I simultaneously feel guilty for not doing more, giving more. I’m still working on finding a balance to keep myself in Activist Mode but also to still be able to take care of myself and give my brain and heart some space to unwring themselves in order to move forward.

Brothers and Sisters: I have two older brothers and two sisters (one twin, one just younger), we have always had pretty decent relationships (teenage years not withstanding), but the last year or two I feel like I’ve leveled up with my siblings. It helps that finally we all have phones capable of sending/receiving group texts, so there is a constant flow of jokes and memes and hilarity in my inbox on the regular.

Carbs: I’m not eating any right now and I’m still in the feeling deprived stage. I WANT ALL THE BREAD AND COOKIES! Cardio: After a few weeks I’m back to feeling comfortable in my cardio regimen and ready to add something else to it (wha!? Who is this person asking for MORE exercise stuff and less cookies? IMPOSTER!)

Dirt: In the last few weeks we’ve added several TONS of dirt to our front yard. Literal tons. The dirt-work is finally done and next up is some more plants! (Yay plants!)

Ear Wax (skip if you get queasy): For reasons I absolutely cannot understand my left ear is producing wax like it is the sole supplier for end-of-the-world emergency candles. It hurts, it’s itchy and achey, and the amount of crud that comes out of it…well, I spare you (the rest of) the details, but, ew. Probably need to see an ENT in short order.

Flowers: During my Sabbaticalette I planted a ton of little wildflower seeds in tiny little seedling cups that I could then transfer to a larger bed once it was done. The stupid wind turned over and destroyed HALF of them. Starting over. (Insert metaphor that I am 100% not interested in right now because I’m still pissy about the damn destroying wind.)

G-chat: At my last office g-chat was blocked and there was no WiFi in the building. Neanderthals! At my new office g-chat is encouraged as an inter-office communication tool and I am LOVING it so much. I missed you, g-chat!

Hair: Ya’ll, my hair is RIDIC long right now, when it’s down and straight the ends are past my natural waist. I have a cut scheduled with my Hair Guy later this month and I’m very back-and-forth on “keep it long!” and “chop it all!” Thoughts? (Also, I miss my lavender hair, just might do that again too.)

Imposter Syndrome: I am a fairly successful career person, yet I sometimes get this crippling fear that I have no idea what I’m doing while EVERYONE ELSE has their lives 100% together. Imposter Syndrome is such a monster, it sneaks in to ruin perfectly lovely moments and experiences.

Just Do It: When I’m in a funk it is often (although NOT always) because I’m flailing at a project or an Important Life Thing. I usually feel a million times better if I just do that thing, figure it out and plow through, doesn’t need to be perfect, just needs to get done. (Other times I need medication to get out of the funk, and that’s okay too.)

Khocolate: Khocolate is some version of fake chocolate (usually, quick-set sugar-free jello pudding), it is not great—just like krab is a super poor substitute for fresh crab–but it fits in my “no carbs, no sugar” regimen right now and takes the edge off.

Leggings: I….I kind of don’t get it. I mean, I have two or three pairs, one is a pair of “fancy” leggings from one of those MLM companies, and they are soft and comfortable, but I only wear them for a few hours at night or in the morning IF we have Mr Blue Eyes’ kids staying with us. Otherwise? Um, I don’t really wear pants at home because I feel like I’m suffocating. And in this case, leggings = pants. And I don’t wear leggings to work because they aren’t dressy enough. And for 9 months of the year it’s too hot for pants of any sort anyway (it’s 90 EVERY DAY THIS WEEK!) so why bother? Can we still be friends even if I’m off the leggings boat?

Mountains: There are some sort-of mountains around Phoenix, nothing like my snow-crusted rocky ones back home, but they have their own allure. My office window looks right out on one of the bigger ones and I love watching the light change the colors and shapes throughout the day. (Do I gush about my new office too much? Sorry/Not Sorry. It is SO MUCH BETTER and I won’t shut up about it. Yet.)

Nausea: I mentioned up there somewhere (points for emphasis) that I am not eating very many carbs right now. I’m not perfect in my quest for a (temporary) carbless existence, however, and every so often I’ll have a cupcake or a piece of bread or whatever. And that almost always makes me nauseous, more the sugary cupcake than the wheat bread, which, noooooooo!!!

Office Supplies: There is almost nothing I love more than buying office supplies. My last office was very drab and black and gray, so everything I added to my desk/bookcase was in bright colors. Aqua fan! Hot pink mouse! Navy-striped mousepad! Fun art! My new office is more yellow-beige and red…and the aqua and hot pink and navy clash a bit. Ahem. I think the solution is to go shopping, right!? Can’t have a hot pink mouse with a brick red wall, that’s just TACKY, right!?

Painting: I miss spending some time with my oil paints and a canvas, I need to schedule this into my week on the regular. I know if I don’t purposely block out time for this activity it just won’t happen.

Queens: Did you watch The Crown yet on Netflix? Do you love it!? I’ve been creating a list of all the queens and empresses and lady rulers that I want to read up on; I love seeing that list get longer and longer as I find out more about the women who reigned!

Refinish: There are 18 things in my house that need to be sanded down and either repainted or restained or refinished in some way. Maybe next winter? I dunno, it’s just too dang hot (already) to even consider it. Blergh.

Summer: It’s here in the Valley of the Surface of the Sun and I am not happy about it. I hope we have a few more cool (or even cool-ish!) days before the triple digit temperatures are the “norm” but I highly doubt that will happen.

To Do Lists: One of my resolutions this year was to better manage my time, especially away from work. Whelp, the good news is that after a few months of trial and error I’ve finally found a system that I really like and helps me get all the things done that I want/need to, and in a reasonable time frame. My big secret? A spiral-bound paper planner just like the one I first started using in Junior High (but, no school mascot on the cover this time).

Under-roos: I need new ones. I feel like I always need new ones. WHY do I feel some need to hang on to ratty underpants when I am PERFECTLY CAPABLE of buying proper ones!? Come on, self, be the adult already! JUST GO BUY NEW UNDERWEAR! (TMI? Eh, I’ve expounded on a lot worse.)

Vacation: This spring Mr. Blue Eyes and I will be going on an Exciting! International! Vacation! Beaches and jungle will be involved, and this is the catalyst for getting over those last hurdles of my “in shape” goal. This will be our first proper vacation (vs long weekend) in YEARS and I am so excited!

Weight: Last year I lost a significant amount of weight, I’m buckling down again this spring and finally starting to see some results. Woot!

X-Wives: I’ve written a little about Mr. Blue Eyes’ x-wife, she’s a PIECE OF WORK. Now, the good news is that after many MANY months (and years) of baby steps (and two steps forward, eight steps back progress), the last little while has been…relatively normal? It’s weird. I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, but the moderate peace and quiet has been revolutionary for all parties involved.

Yardwork: Mr. Blue Eyes and I have been spending the last couple of Saturday’s transforming our front yard from its former expanse of gravel into something a little less rocky. The backyard got a nice cleaning (weeds, debris, piles of schtuff), and the front yard has a new kidney-bean shaped raised bed ready for cactus and bushes and desert-loving wildflowers. I’ll show you all the pics soon.

Zzzz’s: My FitBit tells me that most nights I get about 7 hours of sleep; my brain tells me that most days I wish it was closer to 9 hours of sleep. Sigh. Never enough hours in the day.

My daughter produces ear wax for the country of Brazil (or it seems like it). Her dr told us to put a few drops of hydrogen peroxide in her ear for a few days to help soften it up so that it will come out in a bath (or for you a shower).

My Fitbit wishes I could get 7 hours of sleep even though I am happier with 8. These days I get about 6-6.5. If I could just sleep in a little longer…