How To Give Difficult Feedback

For most of his career, Thomas D'Aunno has been studying how people give one another feedback. As a professor of health policy and management at Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health, he focuses on health care, where the failure to give or take feedback can have life or death consequences. Think of a surgeon supervising a resident who may cut into the wrong artery, or an obstetrician training a young doctor who must deliver a premature baby.

Ever since he got his Ph.D. in organizational psychology at the University of Michigan, in 1984, D'Aunno has pored over empirical research in the field. That includes recent work by Harvard Business School's Amy Edmondson that shows that when surgeons encourage junior team members to deliver negative feedback up the chain of command, results for patients greatly improve.

What about feedback in the everyday work world? Professor D'Aunno has plenty to say about that, too. In fact he maintains that his findings about health care teams apply across the board in all lines of work. He has recommendations for anyone who wants to give feedback effectively.

First, he says, make that feedback timely. Do not wait more than 24 hours to say something. At the same time, though, make sure you've got your emotions in check before you open your mouth. "Don't strike while the iron is hot," he says. "Emotions always trump cognition."

Next, stick to commenting on behavior, not attitude. "What is the behavior you want the person to change?" he asks. He cites an example from a Harvard case study: You think one of your employees, Bill, is prejudiced against Hispanics. You're at a meeting where you observe Bill ignoring the input of Christina, a Hispanic subordinate.

D'Aunno says you should focus on Bill's offending behavior: Make it clear that you want him to include Christina. "The research shows that it's really hard to change underlying attitudes like racism," he notes. "If Bill involves Christina, his attitude will change." The way to break down racism, in other words, is not to discuss the racism but to arrange for the racist to work extensively with people from varying backgrounds.

When you give feedback, start by setting an agenda. Let your colleague or employee know what you want to talk about. In the Bill and Christina example, you might say, "Bill, could I have a word with you? I'd like to give you some feedback on something I saw at the meeting."

Next, go straight to your message, without beating around the bush: "Bill, I feel that you mistreated Christina in there. I'd like you to involve her more in the conversation." Next comes a critical juncture. Elicit Bill's side of the story. Ask him, "What is your reaction to that?" Then listen closely. "This serves an important function," D'Aunno says. "You want to surface the conflict."

Do not start by asking Bill how he thought the meeting went. "That's a huge error," D'Aunno explains. "Then you'll have to directly contradict him."

What you do next depends on how Bill reacts to your initial observation that he treated Christina badly. D'Aunno calls your follow-up "situational leadership." When a medical resident commits an error like slicing into the wrong body part, the situation dictates that you tell him plainly that he can't do that in the future. But even in a blatant situation like that, D'Aunno says, tone matters. It's always better if the other person can feel that he's coming up with the solution to the problem, not having it imposed. "People are much more committed to their own ideas than to the ideas of others," he observes. One way to get there could be by asking, "How do you think we should fix this?" Even if Bill offers a proposal you don't like, you can at least use it as a springboard.

Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. Bill may say, "I have the utmost respect for Christina, and I always try to involve her." That's when you gather yourself and say, "Bill, we disagree fundamentally about how we see things. Here's how I think we should go forward." Don't try to win an argument. Says D'Aunno, "the only thing you can really get at is how Bill treats Christina at the next meeting."