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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

You may not share these
tidbits of wisdom with your childless friends, or the friends who are having
their first baby.

You gain a lot when you
have children. (Love, hugs, a new way of looking at the world)

You lose a lot too. (Sleep,
sitting down to eat, your mind).

One of the biggest things
you'll lose is the chance to ever use the bathroom without someone barging in.
The reasons could be anything, but these are my favorite, and by
favorite, I mean most pain in my ass reasons.

1. you have to open
someone's water bottle (this happened several hours ago)

2. the kids are fighting

3. someone is hungry

4. you need to put in their
video

5. "What is the
password to the iPad?"

6. "Mom, your phone is
ringing!"

7. the kids are
fighting.

8. "Can we watch
TV now?"

9. "Where is my
________?"

10. Look what I can
do!

11. (sobbing)

12. I have a ouchie.

13. I need to go
potty and _______ is using the other bathroom.

14. I feel sick.

15. Mommy, remember
the zoo, and we saw the thing, and then we umm . . .

16. (Pointing at you
and laughing)

17. Bathroom hide and
seek is super fun!

18. I need to brush
my teeth.

19. "Mommy, I
love you!"

20. The kids are
fighting.

All these things are as
annoying as all hell, and can turn the most mild-mannered parent into a
curse-spewing freak. Since being a curse-spewing freak of a parent is
very bad, a funny book needs to come to the rescue.

Thank God for I Still Just Want to Pee Alone!
It's the third book in the nationally bestselling "Pee
Alone" series, and the perfect cure for the mean Mommy blues.

And it's coming out on
March 27, 2015!

We all need a book about
parenting that makes us howl with laughter and feel that someone 40
fantastic mom bloggers understand exactly what we're going through.

I Still Just Want to Pee
Alone is perfect for the mothers in your life, whether
it's a mom with one newborn or five kids ranging from teens to toddlers.
It's a great gift for Mother's Day and baby showers, and well, just
because! And P.S., if you buy from me, I'm happy to send you an
autographed copy!

I promise, the only one who
will be disappointed is your partner, who will be wondering why you're lying in
bed loudly guffawing while he's trying to sleep.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Did you know that the average smartphone user checks their phone 110 times per day and that 2.7 hours of that is just for fun?

Did you also know that without an available power source 77% of phone users will have a dead battery by 4pm?

Whether at work or play all of these things can be a huge strain on your phone's battery, and this is where myCharge comes in!

myCharge is a leader in portable charging solutions that's been first to offer the most advanced solutions for a multitude of needs. Their devices boast built–in charging cords that emphasize portability and versatility, and powerful lithium polymer batteries that allow you to quickly charge your smartphone, tablet, eReader and other devices so that they’re ready when you need them! Ditch your dependency on cables and wall outlets – and let myCharge make your life a bit easier!

For the month of February myCharge is offering the Limited Edition RazorPlus Bundle for $49.99 - in it you receive a RazorPlus with the imprint: We can charge right here right now. The RazorPlus is anultra-thin rechargeable 3000 mAh battery crafted from anodized aluminum that delivers an extra 13 hours talk time for your smartphone. You'll alsoreceive a shirt and a 22 oz. reusable/dishwasher safe stadium cup that is color-changing! The frosted cups turn green when filled with your favorite (possibly adult) beverage. Green is the new red after all!

myCharge is also giving away 20 of these Bundles FREE, so enter for your chance to win below!
Good luck!

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Plan some
fantastic movement. Something that gives your dancers a challenge, but is
also fun to do!

Demonstrate it
clearly and full out. Really inspire everyone in the studio to rise to
the occasion!

Show it again
several times. Be very specific. Painstakingly
describe actions and movement
quality. Carefully draw attention to the counts or any other tricky elements.

Wonder why
everyone is still confused, but remain confident that you have created a nifty
little phrase. Your dancers are sure to have their "A-ha" moment any
time now!

Like any good
teacher would, consider the possibility that you haven't addressed the
multiplicity of learning styles in the room. Demonstrate three more times super
slowly. The first time, accentuate
physical form; the second time narrate as though you were on the witness stand testifying
in court; and the third time, emphasize musicality.

Stifle your
annoyance that your beautiful little phrase is on its way to becoming the
Obamacare of dance combinations.

Attempt to answer
a few more questions in as sweetly and as rationally as you can without
bursting into deafening and primal sobs. Question what evil you could have
possibly committed to deserve working with this group of so-called
"dancers."

Close your eyes,
take a deep breath and be filled with the conviction that "it's not you,
it's THEM.”

Finally, stop
fighting your feelings. You’re going to
have to say that thing you've been longing to say for YEARS. After every hopelessly
stupid question. After every damn excuse or reason why someone just can’t do
what you’re asking. After every persnickety analysis about the placement
of your friggin’ pinky finger.

Just do the
step! Just. Do. The. #$%&ing. STEP!

Shock yourself a
little, realizing you've hit a new low in your teaching.