I realized something about myself today.In the four years prior to my helping to found the notorious Casanova Crew, and then going on to become its most outspoken, but arguably least successful (and strangely most popular) member, I was in a very serious relationship with what Pickup Artists would describe as an HB9. My first (and to date only) girlfriend was tall(er than me, even), thin, and model pretty. She could dance, had a ton of sexual experience (to my being a virgin at the time), and I constantly feared losing her because I just didn’t get why a girl like that would be with me. We became very serious very fast, and four tumultuous years later, as I said, we broke up, a friend gave me a copy of THE GAME, and I joined CC.And now I know why I succeeded with her, yet failed as a PUA.At the time, I thought it was because frankly, I was on a roll. See, growing up I had one ambition in life – to be a filmmaker – and when I met her I was as close to achieving it as I’ve ever been (to this day). My plan was to leave the Midwest and move to LA, and I did so by landing a job on a television show with a credit, fresh out of school! NOBODY could believe that as my very first job in the entertainment business! To me, it seemed the fruition of everything I had ever said about myself, making me cocky as Hell, as did losing 20 lbs. all by myself upon moving to Southern Cal. Once I did that, I bought better clothes, got a better hairstyle from Vidal Sassoon Academy (for $50, no less – still my most expensive haircut to this day), and then promptly picked up the nurse at my new doctor’s office, all with no PUA training whatsoever. The rest, as they say, is history. And how was I able to do that?I was in my element.Today I went to the office of my new doctor, and became aware for the first time of how comfortable I was. I was smiling, laughing, making conversation, joking around with the nurses, the whole bit. I had never been to this particular office before, and yet, I acted like I owned the place. How come? Well before I tell you that, a little more about me, and other past successes: I have had a very serious illness since I was a teenager, one that culminated in 2011 when I received a kidney transplant. The kidney came from an HB10, unrelated to me, who just felt that because she could help me, and liked me, she should. We weren’t in a relationship (she’s married), but she liked me just that much. Where did I meet her? At work, where everybody knew my illness, and where I was a star. Again, a place where I was in my element. And in thinking about those two women, what I’ve realized is this: because I have been seriously ill over half my life, doctors, hospitals, and doctors’ offices are my comfort zone. I am completely at ease, and when I am completely at ease, I am totally me, just as I was working with my friend at a job I was BAD ASS at. And people just like the real me. Don’t believe me? I haven’t tried to pick up a girl in ages. You know who believes most strongly that I could if I wanted to? J the Ripper, founder of CC. You know who believes that just as strongly? Hydro, the guy who replaced JTR as Vince Kelvin’s right hand man. Many of the members of CCOG don’t speak to one another, yet they all still jump when they hear from me. Again, why is that? When I’m among a group of guys, I’m in my element. My only two talents are writing and public speaking. CC gave me a chance to speak, and be myself. No shyness. Just Khan in his natural habitat.And THAT is why bars and clubs never worked for me, and why I was able to pick up my nurse. Like I said, I’ve been sick since I was very young. When I met my ex, I looked great, and was in a situation where I feel most at ease, because I’ve been in that situation my whole life. So all I had to do was be me, and bam, her panties dropped. To this day (we remain friends on Facebook), she claims that I was the most confident guy who ever stepped to her, and still doesn’t get how I changed so much while we were together. I think the reason is obvious: being in my first ever relationship, versus being in a place where I feel at home. On top of that, our first date was to see a movie, and you remember what I said about my life having been all about breaking into that business! See, what I realized this morning is that if you maximize the little things about yourself – how you look – and go places and do things you’re already comfortable with, the real you comes out, and assuming you’re not actually a loser (I doubt many of us are), you will do just fine. Bars and clubs, I realized, which the game is designed for, couldn’t POSSIBLY work for me. I’m a Muslim, I don’t drink! And even if I wasn’t Muslim, my health alone would prevent me from doing it all that much. The ONLY reason I’ve ever been to bars was in a wrong-headed attempt to be a PUA. I would NEVER do that on my own. And while I admit, I looked a lot better than I had prior when I met my ex, it wasn’t the clothes that picked her up or convinced my friend to give me her kidney. It was me, in my element.I share this to urge all of you who are struggling with the game to do just that: improve your appearance, and do whatever you would do anyway. Socially, that is – thanks to the internet, we now have these “Meetup Groups,” where anybody can go to in order to meet people who like what they like or share something in common with them. They even have one for shy people, if you can believe it. Improve your appearance, go out to one that fits you, and just be you. Once you’re in your element, success will come to you, I’m sure. You just have to stick with it and above all else, stay in your element.Good luck!-KhanCCOG Founding Member

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