Instructive Children's Books

Everything I know about parenting I learned from children’s books.

Well not everything…but children’s books can be instructive, whether they mean to be or not.

I’ve lost count of the number of children’s books we’ve read over the years (and the number of times we’ve read them!) but suffice it to say it’s enough that my husband and I could (and sometimes do) have whole conversations composed solely of lines from children’s books (much to the chagrin of our actual children!). It’s not just that some of those books are so familiar (I’ve sworn off Caps for Sale for a lifetime – or at least until the next grandchild asks!), it’s that there is something about the cadence, the tone – and yes, the whimsy – that is just so compelling.

One thing I have learned from children’s books is to just enjoy the flights of fancy and the fantastic. I love the rhymes and imagination of Dr. Seuss. The words he invented actually deepen our appreciation of the beauty of language. And the creatures certainly expand our imaginations. I think that children – and adults – can share the marvel of where imagination and skill with words can take you. “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”

Another favorite and real reading pleasure are the Frances books by Russell Hoban. If you haven’t read them, go immediately to amazon, do not pass go, and use your one-click button. Start with “Bread and Jam for Frances” or “A Baby Sister for Frances”. Frances’ parents (it’s a family of badgers) deal with all of her struggles with cleverness and humor. They never lose their patience. They never yell or scream. They are fun and wise. They are my role models! For example (spoiler alert), when Frances refuses to eat what her mother cooks and only wants bread and jam, that’s what she gets – for every meal, for every snack until…well I don’t want to give away the ending but let’s just say it’s a technique I wish I could use – and possibly apply to messy bedrooms as well.

Good children’s books bring us into the world and life of children so that we can react to them with greater understanding and empathy. There are so many pop psychology books dealing with introducing a new child into the family but, in my humble opinion, the best book on the topic is “A Baby Sister for Frances.” It perfectly captures the ambivalence the older sister feels about her new sibling – the desire to simultaneously run away and stay close (Frances hides under the dining room table), the desire to be acknowledged for her uniqueness along with her fear of being forgotten (“You know” says the father within earshot of his runaway daughter, “it is not the same house without Frances.”) and the importance of encouraging Frances to be a role model to the baby (“Even Gloria” said Mother, “as small as she is, can feel the difference…a girl looks up to an older sister. You know that.” she tells her husband).

I also enjoy the Arthur books by Marc Brown. He seems to explore some real issues without ever becoming preachy. Children are particularly drawn to “Arthur’s Underwear” (as they are to anything with underwear in the title) which deals with Arthur’s recurring dream about leaving his home without getting dressed. This is actually a common and classic scenario reflecting our insecurities and fear of exposure that is handled simply and with humor.

And who doesn’t love Curious George? Although we may object to the message that you can be mischievous and disobey the rules but as long as you “made our sad little Betsy happy again” it is all right, I think the free rein of his curiosity is healthy for young children. And mostly they just think it’s funny!

Although my husband dislikes the “Berenstain Bears” on the grounds that the books are sexist (the father is always wrong and on the one occasion where he is in the right, it says “It didn’t take a deep thinker…”) there certainly are good lessons to be learned. And the kids seem to enjoy them…something about bears…

I think in the end the power of children’s books, however, may not be so much in the moral lessons they are imparting as they are in the time and space they create for families – to sit together, to laugh at the antics of the creatures, to expand their use of understanding of language, to get perspective on the human condition – and to share the pleasure of good storytelling

There are, of course, other insights to glean from children’s books. I haven’t even begun to delve into Maurice Sendak’s “Where the Wild Things Are.” But for me, the ultimate teaching is the sense of awe that the Almighty as endowed His creation with the skill and imagination to create and illustrate stories that will delight millions for years to come.

About the Author

Emuna Braverman has a law degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters in in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University. She lives with her husband and nine children in Los Angeles where they both work for Aish HaTorah. When she isn''t writing for the Internet or taking care of her family, Emuna teaches classes on Judaism, organizes gourmet kosher cooking groups and hosts many Shabbos guests. She is the cofounder of www.gourmetkoshercooking.com.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 18

(13)
Nechama,
January 4, 2012 8:30 PM

I too am in love with Russel Hoban's Frances books. They deal with the real feelings of kids, and we can appreciate and aspire to to be as even-handed, loving and yet firm as her parents. Have you read the "Miss Piggle Wiggle" series? These books are about an eccentric grandmotherly woman who solves parents' worst problems with children--the books are sheer fun (and you can always refer back to them when your own child--"no, not mine!" displays a trait below his usual angelic par.)
I do want to add that there are beautiful books on the market written specifically for the Jewish child--check out your nearest Hebrew bookstore and you may be pleasantly surprised at the breadth of topics sensitively dealt with, lovely and/or lively illustrations, cute rhymes, etc.

(12)
ruth housman,
January 3, 2012 11:25 PM

Sam I Am

Evidence for Carl Jung's "collective unconscious" is quite visible in the connects I am making with articles on Aish and elsewhere because these coincidences, cannot be random.
Just the other day I was at Michael's craft store, only because I had dropped my husband at the Quincy, MA subway and he said, "Look, there's a Michael's. Maybe you want look around."
I saw right away Dr. Seuss stickers, and purchased them, because I have a granddaughter on the way, due February, and I love those books. I just visited The Ventress Library in Marshfield and found many of them, as used books, for a song. I am truly a sticker lady and a letter writer. So I use these to decorate my letters. It's such fun. That child in me is allowed to come out and play. Why not?
Speaking of songs, I have no doubt, this symphony has a conductor, and the proof is quite extant, for me, in this plethora of cross-connects. G_d is so totally in the wings!
As to these books, I so agree, they are wonderful and I am looking forward to sharing them with new little people, for the joy of learning, for their whimsicality, and play of words.

(11)
Madeleine,
January 3, 2012 8:44 PM

Having always believed stories are one of the best ways to teach morality, ethics & compassion

I created a website: Grandma Tell Me A Story
Is a website for children who love to listen to stories & fairytales. And for those who believe that one of the best ways to teach morality, ethics, and compassion to children, is to touch their heart and capture their imagination by entertaining them with a good story.
With the exception of my version of “Goldilocks & the Three Bears,” (the first story I told my granddaughter)
All stories and their accompanying activities and lesson plans,
are my own original creations.
Children are invited to display their illustrations to the stories on line in the site gallery.
As an artist and writer, I believe the most important function of the arts is to inspire the imagination, so the mind can enter the world of possibility where all forms of invention are born.
People, who as children learn to question, to visualize and to be independent, creative thinkers, are our greatest defense against tyranny.
www.grandmatellmeastory.com

(10)
Gershom,
January 3, 2012 8:37 PM

Please don't forget our family's favorite, the Junie B. Jones series. Both kids and adults (including myself as I am trying to read them) laugh all the way through them. They also allow for any number of side questions & commentaries on life.

(9)
Uriela,
January 3, 2012 2:53 PM

Thank you so much for this

As a grandmother always shopping for new books for the kids, I am so happy to know this. What a heart-warming article!

(8)
Ayelet,
January 3, 2012 1:12 PM

Arthur

Emuna, what are your thoughts about the constant bickering between the siblings?

(7)
Marjorie,
January 3, 2012 1:06 PM

Love You Forever

And how about Robert Munsch's Love You Forever? My husband (!!!) couldn't read it to our daughter without crying, and if you listen to Bob Munsch read it on tape (that dates me!), you'll never forget the tune as he chants, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." I know of no book that captures the full cycle of life (and death) as well as this one. Children love its tenderness, and parents, of course, see so much more in it. And isn't that one of the most important criteria for a good children's book -- the ability to be understood by both adult and child? (Sendak is the best example.)

Rachel,
January 3, 2012 8:12 PM

I always struggled not to cry, too

I just saw it in a bookstore and asked my teen son if he remembered it. Being 17, he said "yes, unfortunately" -- then gave me a quick hug.

judy,
January 4, 2012 4:37 PM

Oh! I'd forgotten this one!

I loved reading this with my daughter - now almost 27. I am glad to be reminded of it, thanks!

Anonymous,
January 6, 2012 5:12 AM

I can't read that book without crying!

I can't read that book without crying!

(6)
Zvi,
January 3, 2012 12:59 PM

Yurtle the Turtle

It's a classic that I loved as a kid and enjoy again while reading to my kids, who like it also. The book I have came w 2 additional stories that are equally well done and have great messages (be carfeul what you wish for and don't brag).

(5)
Anonymous,
January 3, 2012 8:52 AM

great article

great article. I agree with your husband about Berenstain bears and won't let them into my home. However, number one on my list has always been "Harold and the purple crayon".

(4)
devorah,
January 2, 2012 5:13 PM

quoting books

"my husband and I could (and sometimes do) have whole conversations composed solely of lines from children’s books"... haha! I thought we were the only couple who did that! Due to our childrens' ages (oldest is 5) we have not acheived the proficiency to have a whole conversation, but I know that we will get there. Our 2 most quoted lines are (from Go Dog Go) "Go down, dogs. Do not play up there. Go down." And "Now it is night. Night is not the time for play. It is time for sleep."
I absolutely loved Francis books when I was a kid - didn't know you could still get them. And of course, how can I not mention "Are you my mother?". I adore the baby bird's solid conviction that he DOES have a mother who loves him.

e. b.,
January 3, 2012 2:22 PM

are you my mother?!

i remember bursting into uncontrollable sobbing whenever that book was read! it broke my heart! definitely not my recommendation to read to kids.
how about, "snug house bug house" ? favorite :)

(3)
Anonymous,
January 2, 2012 11:44 AM

why are all kids' books about animals?

My 5 year old daughter does not like books about animals. I mean personnified animals. And SO MANY children's books are about animals - bears, monkeys, mice, etc. She wants books where the characters are people! Unitl she came up with this dislike, I had never even noticed how many children's books depict their characters with animals.

R. Klempner,
January 3, 2012 6:49 AM

Not all!

I'm a writer who does not use animal characters, but I can explain why many authors do. Employing animals can a) add humor, b) soften a moral message, and c) many children are attracted to animals. Also, we have associations with certain animals that can be used by the writer. For example, foxes and wolves are sneaky and smart, while birds are often thought of as "flighty" (pun intended).
If your child prefers human characters, that's okay, too. Among the Jewish publishers is HaChai (which publishes children's books--disclaimer, I've been published by them), who insists on human characters only. Most Jewish books from Feldheim and Artscroll also use people for central characters. For outstanding secular books, you can try biographies by David Adler; picture books by Ezra Jack Keats such as The Snowy Day; Millie's Marvelous Hat; Stone Soup; Grandfather's Journey; Cookies by Amy Kraus Rosenthal; and many others. Make friends with the children's librarian at your closest library and they can help you find books that will please your daughter. It's even better if you let her ask the librarian herself!

(2)
TMay,
January 1, 2012 10:52 PM

Here' some favorites:

I like "We Are in a Book", and "It's a Book", and "Goodnight iPad", a parody or an update of the old classic "Goodnight Moon".

(1)
ellen,
January 1, 2012 5:24 PM

other children's books

Just off the top of my head, Horton Hears a Who- great for lessons of chesed, sensitivity, and I dare say, feeling and being strong ie the Jews as a minority, and Robert Munch stories esp. Paperbag Princess where we learn that appearances don't count. Franklin series also gives over moral lessons on self, right and wrong, friendship, relationships, etc.
Reading is wonderful and it is a shame that the Judaica books for children are a fortune. I do have some, but I also cringe at the prices.Yes the hard cover secular books are also expensive but at least there's the library.