08/02/15 - Class Notes

This class we are going to be discussing multiple things from the textbook. Re-read some of the sections you discussed later to make sure you understand all of it. In order to get back to the site once the teacher goes away, simply hit the close button at the top right next to comments and share. If you are the teacher and reading this, cut the kid a break - if your class was more interesting this would have never happened in the first place.

The lack of young women (or women in general) that masturbate is frustrating – literally. Men are not to blame for this because the majority encourage women to do so. Women have the vaginas, therefore, women are to blame. Sexual health is just as important as mental health, physical health, and emotional health – in fact, they are directly related. Why do you think people who are sexually active with themselves and/or others are some of the most blissful people around? An orgasm is one of the greatest things we can experience. The French call it “la petite mort” – the little death. It is that amazing. Men achieve orgasm through self-masturbation all the time, so why don’t women? There is too much talk on why a lot of women have trouble achieving an orgasm, or worse…what it feels like (you’ll know when you have one – trust me). The reason is women don’t know their own vaginas.

Women and men are not subject to the same sex and masturbation rules. Hell I never even received the “birds and the bees” talk – not that I wanted it, but I wish I had the option to run screaming from my parents when they tried. The fact that neither of my parents attempted to talk to me made sex and masturbation that much more ‘taboo’. Why is it acceptable for men to have plenty of guilt-free sex and masturbate, but not women?

Then it hit me – women are brought up thinking their sexual pleasure and orgasms are dependent upon men, be it their hands, mouths, or penises.

Mothers need to tell their young daughters (age 10 or 11) that masturbating is good, healthy, fun, and awesome. The sexual world of young adults would be immensely different (at least that is what I imagine) if girls began masturbating as much, and as early as boys. Young girls should know that the opposite sex is not needed to directly address their intense feelings of arousal or to reach the ecstasy of orgasm. If girls do not masturbate frequently and get to know their own sexual responses they become conditioned like Pavlovian dogs to penis/hand/mouth + vagina = pleasurable orgasm. This needs to be corrected. Don’t get me wrong, sex is fucking awesome…but it would be even MORE awesome if girls understood what gets them off! Young girls are also more likely to respect themselves when they understand they don’t need a boy to release their sexual tension. (Sluts are fun once in a while but more often than not, men want quality pussy that doesn’t exchange her sex with anyone – but still keep with the code and chugabeerandhavesexwitheveryone)

We can easily deduce why men are generally more in tune than women are with their own sexual responses and preferences: they masturbate. Also, why do sex researchers think men’s sexual “prime” is around the age of 20 and not 30 like women? I assume the underlying reason is that men eventually become exhausted trying to please vaginas since many women don’t know what the hell their own vagina enjoys. Penises are practically drunk driving between the great walls of vagina! As a result, when men reach the age of 27/28 they become “more serious” and “work-oriented” and lose their sex-drive. After hearing endless amounts of excuses for why men can’t get it done, women become so desperate for an orgasm they begin to masturbate. Alas, around age 30 (their “prime”) women finally discover what it takes to orgasm. When sex spontaneously resumes, the man realizes he can easily make her cum – making sex feel better for him. Orgasms = happy vagina, and penises love happy vaginas. Masturbation is the answer!

I’ve also noticed a disturbing trend throughout my sexual discussions with girlfriends: far too many women clam up when it comes to pronouncing the most desirable commodity to exist: the vagina. These women can say dick, cock, sausage, johnson, slab, shlong, wang, and whatever other names they want to call the male penis but when referring to their own anatomy they stumble and try to figure out what word is “appropriate”.

Treat your vagina well. Give it love and attention. Play with it. Not to be cliché and liken it to a cat…but seriously. The idea here ladies is for you to get comfortable with your own vagina without the presence of a man. Take ownership. The more ownership and responsibility you take for personally pleasing your vagina the better you will feel overall and the better sex will feel. You will have an improved relationship with yourself as well as your boyfriend(s).

So ladies start experimenting: buy porn movies, buy porn magazines, surf free websites, read erotica, fantasize (the brain is the largest erogenous zone), buy a dildo, buy a vibrator, buy a dildo that vibrates, buy the vibrating Harry Potter Broomstick, use the showerhead on different settings, or simply use your fingers.

Ms. Coquine, I totally agree. I have often found it puzzling why men can have entire conversations about ‘beating it’ or what have you, while it is one thing women will never talk about. Majority of women will discuss the most graphic of bedroom intimacies but never masturbation. I am a firm believe that masturbation is exactly as you have explained, a pleasurable way to learn about your body and what excites you and will invariably lead to better sex. However, I also think that maybe women aren’t as forthcoming about how often they actually do masturbate. I find it hard to believe that a sexually active woman with a healthy appetite can go for months without sex and without masturbating.

I think that you have pin-pointed one of the major obstacles in getting women to be more comfortable with their bodies and their sexual experiences, that being their inability to embrace the terminology. For example, many use the term vagina in a clinical way that distances themselves emotionally and sexually when talking about that particular area, yet these same women are offended when nick-names are used like pussy, cunt, slit. I myself prefer to step away from the 17th century imposed terminology for female sexual organs that equate them with “sword scabbards” (see etymonline.com) and freely throw around any word I so fucking choose at the moment.

So, like you said, let us toss off the shame in ‘rubbing-one-out’, and enthusiastically embrace the beauty of getting yourself off and all the wonderful toys they have created to help you do so.

What an awesome article!! A friend of mine, bless his heart, kept getting me so worked up over the phone, I finally HAD to resort! What I’ve been missing!! Damn! No wonder he doesn’t mind talking about all of this. I always wondered how in the world guys talk about masturbation so freely, it’s because it becomes so much a part of who they are, at a young age, so by the time they’re “grown-ups,” (that’s a laugh eh girls!) they just don’t have any inhibitions about it. He was right, by the way, and I realized how damn stupid it is for we girls to not throw our own inhibitions aside and go with it. I agree completely that it would help sex all the way around for US to understand better what really works. It would put a stop to the cycle of us wanting them to do it RIGHT and make me orgasm (dammit!) They could use a little help girls!! Thanks for having the Kahoonas to write this article, I think I’ll post a link straight to it from my facebook page! seriously!!! One happy girl up north!

I agree with you that women shouldn’t need a man to reach orgasm, I sure don’t need a woman for it!!!..also some of the woman I have been with seem to think all they have to do is be there, this is a myth as well. If you have it learn how to use it also applies to the ladies. It isn’t easy for a man to know what you want when you don’t say anything, we cannot read your mind. Then when you aren’t satisfied you hang out with your friends and in a insecure banter you have a laugh at the guy who doesn’t know enough about the womens body. Well neither do you know enough about the womans body or the mens for that matter. I have been with plenty of women in my life who thought they were a ball of fire in bed and really didn’t know what the hell they were doing. But when they ask us we say it is great, the same as you do at times because one thing we are also taught as young men is not to hurt a girls feelings. So yes enjoy your body and learn what you like it is not our fault if you don’t and I think I can speak for alot of men out there when I say we are getting tired of being blamed for everything that goes wrong with you in bed. Now….go home and masterbate will ya !!! LOL

Masterbation: Path to all things wonderful or infantile self-stimulation? It must be wonderful to feel like masterbation is just the bees’ knees, and feel compelled to spread the gospel. So fashionable, so now. Truth is, the answer probably depends on the individual. For example, if you feel like it is something you do that you wish you didn’t, then suggesting that everybody do it might be one strategy to feel better about yourself.

Personally, I can do without seeing dopy ads for it on TV, in the movies, and web sites. I say, let it stay private and lets put public attention and debate on how the f*** we are going to shift the consciousness, meet the needs, and elevate humanity’s future. Not nearly as narcissistic and self-absorbed as focusing on the infinite wonders of self-stimulation, but worthwhile none-the-less.

wow, I never thought id see a women posting a comment like this, but in my honest oppoion its about fucking time! I have been saying the same thing to my freinds as well and their usual response would be you’re gross, nasty or perverted and they aren’t like that they are innocent and clean. I actually got my best freind to do she has done it 5 times(of which I am aware of). She told me that she stupidly rushed into it this one time she got horny and ended up hurting herself and was scared/worried about trying it again. I explained to her as best I could with her running away screaming or smacking me, and she tried it again weeks later. She told me she liked it alot and was never gonna do it again. She then told me several weeks later that she kept masterbating until she had done it 5 times(in total) and she said she liked it alot and was getting to love it. But she said she was never gonne do it….again. And ever since then she has seemed alot more relaxed and calm(I know this because she hasn’t gotten pissed at me). And it seems to me that she still keeps masterbating from time to time yet still feeling thats she should’nt do it and its bad to masterbate(for some dam retarded reason!)

Thanks for the education but sorry, there are a lot of women who know how to get off on their own daily. Somehow you have taken for granted that the girls you have known have decided to lie to you and tell you they don’t touch their vaginas. They do, you just don’t know it. If there were a more relaxed level of intimacy and comfort they would let you know. I do not agree that women do not masturbate. Who buys all the dildos and vibrators? not men.

Perhaps the reason why women tend to drift away talking about such personal and intimate things it because the way men see them after a woman makes such sexual comments. The fact that the article even says “Sluts are fun but.. ” The word slut is degrading and a negative word to deem a woman who is comfortable in their sexuality. If a woman starts lead a life as many men do, in wanting to “chugabeerandfuckeveryone”, they are deemed as dirty, unpure and negatively stigmatized. Perhaps if such a double standard didnt exist then women would feel more comfortable with their sexuality experimenting in more unique ways that men could ever imagine. But because women are socialized to be more reserved, polite and cautious of their sexual activity -or else they will be scrutinized – women tend to keep such secrets of their sexuality hidden in fear of being stigmatized as “unpure”, “slutty” or “damaged goods”. Masturbation is a healthy thing, and more women than many think know this. However with all the pressures society puts on women already, why would a woman want to bring on more negative attention regarding her sexuality?
Its okay for men to be with 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 hell even up to a 100 women and spread various STDS while at it, not knowing that they are the carriers of such viruses, (many symptoms are invivisble on men), but a woman.. more than a handful (5) of lovers? Well then shes a slut. So before you sit here and criticize why women aren’t more open about these things take some time to consider the social implications of the gender roles that we are socialized into. And when a woman does break away from the dominant norm of being a “pure” female and talks of sexual activity, dont judge her as “slutty” or “dirty”, judge her as human, with same sexual needs and desires as her male counterpart.

^ I don’t personally agree with the comment above. (I wouldn’t trust the stats from the article either but…that’s a different story)

Sure, there’s a negative light associated with women who are more sexually active, but it doesn’t mean that social implications cannot change. This article supports women in embracing their sexual nature and owning the responsibility of pleasure to themselves. Not to sound like a feminist, but it’s empowering for women to know that pleasure does not depend on a male counterpart. With a higher level of sexual comfort, women can then fight the negative stigmas that are so prevalent in our society.

Personally, I have sex with men and I masturbate. I wouldn’t necessarily make a public service announcement about the guy I slept with the other night, but if it came up in conversation with my friends (male or female), I wouldn’t be ashamed either. They don’t think of me as “impure” or a “slut” and more importantly, I don’t think that way about myself.

[...] a day, which is what her urges have pushed her to do in the past. This woman has landed a major victory for women in the masturbation movement, and while it must be really fucking weird to work with her I’m sure that this news has made [...]

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I was just looking for this info for a while. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your website. I wonder what is the Google’s issue that does not rank this kind of informative web sites closer to the top. Usually the top web sites are full of garbage.

The only woman ive ever said were sluts were the ones that were.Everyone knows when someone is a slut,male or female.The true meaning of whore is anyone that has slept with more than one person outside of marriage,so I guess there are alot of whores in the world.LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE!

It’s not immediately clear to me whether you’re a man or a woman. I’m guessing you’re a man. First I think your conclusions have very little foundation in reality. I’ve never heard a woman blame a man for her lack of desire to masturbate. A person’s sexual peak has much deeper roots. At 30 my desire shifted from desiring sex to experience intimacy and most likely validation, to desiring sex for physical pleasure. Perhaps men have his reversed. Our brain and the ways it influences, evolves and effects us to a largely yet unknown degree. I liked the article very much. It’s funny.