My husband of 21 years and I were living like roommates—taking care of business and our teen at home, communicating superficially, with lots of hurt. I knew it could be better, but didn’t know what to do. This weekend has been marriage-changing! We learned about attachment styles, and how those early experiences affect our communication and perceptions now. We learned a fantastic listening and communicating method. We met new friends, and learned that many couples struggle. I am leaving this weekend with a change of heart. I came to get tools; I am leaving with what I needed-a heart more open to listening to my husband, working on respect and communication; and I got tools. I think this workshop would benefit every marriage. Learning how to love is basic—it changes our connection to our spouses and everyone else we come into contact with.– Cathy

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3 Comments

i am curious about the responses I heard today from The radio broadcast on XM 131 5/21/15 with Steve, Jill, and David regarding the caller whose son’s girlfriend is flirtatious and should she say something to her husband. I was surprised that all three responded that the caller was aiming her upsetness at the wrong person and that she shouldn’t be frustrated with her husband, only her son’s girlfriend. In my opinion, the husband should have most certainly gotten up when the girl reached from behind and started petting the little kitten sitting on his private area. He didn’t have to make a scene, he could have graciously gotten up and said “oh here, would you like to hold the kitten” or a myriad of other responses. But to suggest that the wife was wrong in any way for expecting her husband to do something, ANYTHING, instead of just sitting there and letting that inappropriateness happen is very surprising to me. You all suggested that they talk to the son about his girlfriend’s seductive behavior which I think is good. But the husband absolutely has a responsibility to get himself out of awkward and/or inappropriate circumstances even when he isn’t the initiator. He is not bulilding oneness or trust with his wife by just getting angry, shutting down, and making it seem like he didn’t do anything wrong when she tried to communicate with him. Often doing nothing is doing something! It would have spoken volumes to his wife (in a good way) and to the son’s girlfriend (in a hands off way) if he excused himself. The wife also brought up a situation when she saw her husband and son’s girlfriend making glances at each other. I wish I would have heard you three validate her more. It really seemed like the only focus was on her getting upset with the wrong person. I have a lot of respect for the work all of you are doing so that is partly why I was confused with the responses today.

Oh my goodness, you poor dear, your husband is something else – he is using the bible verses like a crutch and that’s so unfair and childish. He needs to start pulling his weight, if you don’t do something about it things will not change. I had a boyfriend whom I allowed to use me like crazy, he was not helping me with anything and every time we went out to eat, I paid, I paid for everything all the time, I got tired of it and get this, he had the nerve to ask me for a key to my place….WHAT. My last, my Ex sort of got things twisted, he wanted me to put his name on my bills, but never the lease…you know what that meant, THANK GOD I didn’t, that would have been an even bigger HOT MESS. My point is and advice to you is to take a stand, make your standards clear, I didn’t and because of me not doing so things got really rough for me things that could have been prevented. I hope it’s not fear thats stopping you from suggesting more help from your husband, if that’s the case he’ll use that as a crutch as well. I pray that things work out for you once you get the process started.

Poor Denise! What an immature stupid girlfriend with no boundaries. She sure has a lot of growing up to do. This is not going to go well, and I would pray they do not get married. It’s my understanding that females like this got rejected by their father, and they probably favored another sister over her. The results are they always need attention from men, telling dirty jokes, being loud, flirtatious, etc. You may want to find out for what it’s worth.