12.14.2015

The F Word.

No, not the one you're thinking. FRIENDZONE. Yes. I was friendzoned. I've know this guy for a little over four months now. We have date nights during the week, every week. We spend virtually all of the weekend together. We go everywhere together. We've been seen out in public A LOT. When we're not together, we talk/text constantly. We *insert the real F word*. We are constantly in touch; and each is constantly aware of what the other is doing.

He was at mine over the weekend (the kids have been spending a lot of time at grandma's). He spent the entire weekend with me. Friday evening until he went to work on Monday morning. On Saturday, we attended a wedding together. We ran into a few of his friends, and a few of mine. It was a great time. We were inseparable. I actually left him to go do his thing with his friends, but he didn't leave my side all night. So as far as anyone is concerned, we are an item.

Therefore, imagine my shock when he told me someone was asking about me and he told them 'his FRIEND was fine'. Like he had to stress that. I thought about t for a second, but told myself it was nothing. Then, the next day, he used the F word again. We were talking on the phone, and he went 'my friend my friend, you are too too funny'. At that point I wanted to say something. But I had to let it digest first.

After thinking about it for a few hours, I only have myself to blame. Why?

He never said he was my boyfriend. We never had 'the talk' to make it official. And I've heard and read over and over in lagos that you DO NOT assume a guy is yours until he looks you in the eyes and says he is.

We went out together a lot, but he never took me to certain places. I guess those are the places that counted. The places where his friends proper would be.

In person, he'd express himself 100%. We talked about every and anything under the sun. He expressed emotions. However, when I tried to express emotions on bbm, he never reciprocated. He always changed the topic.

I made myself too available to him from the beginning. I guess there are benefits to fronting and giving guys a hard time.

Without further ado, I changed his name on my phone to 'do not pick'. I don't even want to have the conversation with him because I'm already embarrassed as it stands. So I'll just ignore him and move on like it never happened. It just sucks that I actually saw a future with him. But I won't even play the victim or say he used me or anything like that. I'll just learn my lesson (and hope that you do too). This will never happen to me again.