but, i'm glad 2011 is over.
it gives me the opportunity to start a whole new year. or at least that's what i was thinking the other day.
how great it is that at the beginning of the year, we all get to start over.

but the truth is we get that opportunity every day. we get the blessing of waking up in the morning with the chance to do everything differently than we did the day before.

did i make memories with my children last year? sure.
did i make memories with my children yesterday. i'm not so sure.

memories are not necessarily defined by great events.
although they do include the big fun trips and vacations. i love all my memories of our fun family vacations as a child. disneyland, kauai, big bear, disney world with our best friends, but some of my best memories are the little things. like whenever my dad could pick up our car pool from school on friday's he'd take us to long's drugs and get us all a scoop of ice cream. or when we moved, all the fun puppet shows we did in the giant boxes. it's the little things.

the little things...how do i make up for all the little things i didn't do with my son.

i can't change the fact that i "didn't" yesterday, but i can "do" today.
i can play with him even if there are dishes in the sink.
i can do shaving cream art, even if it's going to be a giant mess.
i can do snuggling time with him in bed, even if my one favorite show is calling my name.
i can do 4 a.m. feedings with the baby, even if my pillow is telling me to lay back down.

all these moments will never repeat themselves. i will never be in this moment with this child ever again.

and i will regret that i didn't live fully in that moment that God gave me.
i will not regret that i didn't check facebook one more time. or pin just one more thing on pinterest.

how will i choose to face each day in 2012?
i will choose to live with grace in my own life.
i will choose to live in little-boy-made messes.
i will choose to live in moments.
i will choose to enjoy each chance i have to snuggle my ever growing boy. even if it means i watch cars 2 for the 5th day in a row.
i will choose to enjoy 4 a.m. when the sweet girl molds with my body for her early morning feeding.
i will choose to be more organized with my responsibilities so that all these other things can happen.