a third-year teacher's escapades in the realm of the public high school. sometimes witty. sometimes sad. sometimes angry. always exhausted. it's a bumpy ride, but i wait for the moments that make it worth it.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

i should be grading.

but instead i've been playing with my blog.the other day we were talking about what they don't teach you in college, and from that ms. h came up with a sort of teacher forum to discuss all those things. i think this is a great idea. as i told ms. h in an email, i think people need to know what they're getting into before they start teaching. while i knew teaching would be difficult, i never realized how much it took. as i've said before in here, teaching isn't just discussing literature or grammar or composition. i have to deal with my kids' successes and failures just like i have to deal with my own. i have to deal with what's happening in their personal lives just like my own. they have things going on in their lives that i couldn't possibly comprehend, but i have to try. because they trust me, and they need guidance. and sometimes they don't know who else to turn to. i didn't know i'd be dealing with that when i first got started.plus, the questions. i really do feel like a sideshow freak sometimes. they want to know everything. they apparently think teachers aren't real people.

4 comments:

First off, I know what ya mean. Many nights I should be grading papers, yet it's just not in me. Secondly, I know this is a bit early, as your first year isn't over yet, but one of my "mentors" (we had many in my building the first year I taught) told me some very true words at the end of my first year. Mrs. W looked at me and said, "This will be the toughest teaching year of your life. Every year after this will get a little easier." I remember crying after she said that as I had had a similar year as you've described. Anyway, I don't have everything figured out (FAR from it!) in this whole teaching gig, but I do know what Mrs. W spoke was true. I have found in my 7 short years of teaching that every year is very different but you build upon each one. Hang in there, my friend. The year is about to end!

i keep hearing that it'll get easier...and i'm waiting for it. sometimes i feel like i'm barely keeping my head above the water. most days are good, but i've had a few where i've left school wondering if my kids have learned anything.but i do appreciate the advice...it's nice to be reassured that it gets easier.

This is my fifth year of teaching and nothing compares with the first year in terms of doing it hard. Nothing, not even teaching rounds (and I did one term internship at a school as well) prepare you for the personal level in which you will be involved with the children and how much of yourself you end up putting in. It's easy to be a teacher 100% of the time - it's actually almost impossible not to be.

I remember doing a lot of crying on my desk - staying up grading - missing lunch. Those days still happen every now and again, but not too often anymore. As you get on in teaching you get a bit savvier about those things..and handling the pressure. It won't always seem like a freight train.

I teach in a primary school but I get questions all the time like "..where do you go when the bell goes at the end of the day?" yep, living for the children eh? ;)