Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Die Just a Little

There's something about the rain that reminds me of you. Maybe it was because of that one rainy afternoon. Or I guess it must have been that rainy evening after the storm. For whatever reason it might be, I may not know for sure. I do know that when the skies begin to cry, I get to think of no one else but you. And all of a sudden, my heart begins to throb. Over and over again.

And tonight is no exception. I just wish you knew. Not that it would make any difference at all, but nevertheless, I wish you knew that this hasn't been very easy for me too. That if I had it my way, I would give everything up in a heartbeat just for you. But you and I both know that in the lives that we live, we were never an option to begin with. And maybe, just maybe, things are really better off that way.

I'm walking away. I'm locking it all up in my diary. I'm hiding it away in my journal. I guess it has to be this way. You and I, we never should have happened. Not yesterday, not today. Not ever. But we did because we willed it to be. And if it has to be like this for the rest of our lives, then so be it. At least I had that one moment, when you looked at me that way like no one else did and we held on to each other as if we had all the time in our hands. That was beautiful. And I'm holding on to that memory. Never mind that it means an eternity without you. That alone was more than enough.

So please let me be. Maybe it's going to take a while; but in time, we will both understand why this had to happen. Perhaps tomorrow, your memory shall cease to haunt me. And maybe then, I can get you off my mind.