a constant chiaroscuro

fictional characters

This writing blog has been sorely neglected. For those of you that follow–I apologize! This absence of posts reflects the busy year and introspective change in my attitude as a writer. I suppose that statement requires an explanation that I’m afraid will be rather lengthy, but, luckily for me, it’s cold outside so there’s not much better to do than hole up indoors with a computer and read this missive. I’ve always been fond of lists as they organize my always disorganized thought process, so here follows a list of what I’ve done this past year in writing and life.

I Started Another Blog

For those of you who follow me via Facebook, this is old news. For you exclusive WordPress followers, this will be new. In March 2016, at the urging of friends, I decided to take my fashion obsession to the Internet and begin a style blog called Luna Elise. I have been lucky enough to have several amazing shoots with friends and, through these talented photographers, I have met even more connections to collaborate and shoot with. Books and clothes are two of my favorite things in life, and I have definitely enjoyed extending some effort towards fashion. Since Luna Elise’s inception, I have come a long way. I’ve gained a decent following, become a more confident model, gotten a sponsorship with a well-known online boutique and even made the runway model roster for Kansas City Fashion Week! To learn more about my other blog, check it out at http://www.lunaelise.com!

I Traveled a LOT

This past year has been crazy and amazing with the amount of traveling I’ve done. Aside from going to Cancun, Colorado and Austin, I also went on a once-in-a-lifetime road trip with my boyfriend. The exhaustive list of places visited–The Badlands, Mt. Rushmore, Devils Tower, Yellowstone, Glacier National Park, Crater Lake, Seattle, San Francisco, LA, Las Vegas, The Grand Canyon, Aspen–plus all the amazing highways and little gems along the way. The entire trip was a month long, then we immediately headed out to Colorado with my Dad for the annual mountain climbing trip. All this travel amounts to nearly two months of my year, which is a pretty ideal work:play ratio if you ask me. 🙂

I Did Writer’s League of Texas Conference Again

The travel wasn’t all play; I attended the WLT Conference in Austin in June. This was coming off of the huge realization that Capacitance needed a much more involved rewrite than I had envisioned. As I went back through the story (which I originally thought I would have rewritten for the conference and ready to pitch), I realized that the entire storyline needed work, needed depth. It was frustrating, but necessary to accept. Thus, I went into the conference ready to pitch ideas, not land a deal. I remember sitting in my hotel room right before pitching to an agent, brainstorming a plot that I would pitch on the fly in 10 minutes time! The plot I pitched was DRASTICALLY different from the original Capacitance. It still has the same characters, but the set-up is quite changed. I pitched to Jessica Papin at Dystel & Goderich (despite my former rejection there), and bluntly asked her if she thought the idea was salable and good. She said yes, and that she would like to see the rewrite. But here’s the thing–I have no idea whether to believe the agents at these conferences. Especially at the pitch sessions. We pay to pitch to them, so I am wary of their reactions. It is so much more comfortable to say something encouraging even when you’re thinking how much it sucks. Hurting someone’s feelings is uncomfortable. So, maybe this is just my perpetually hyper-critical brain being paranoid, or I’m onto something here. Almost all agents at conferences say they want to see material. Honestly, I think that’s just easier on them than saying no. What’s another email to just delete? All said and done, my experience at WLT was interesting, but it just added to my general frustration on the professional world of literature.

I Took A Break

Which leads me to my next point. My six weeks of traveling came hard on the heels of WLT, and I took that as a sign to pause and breathe. Jessica Papin wasn’t going to be sitting with bated breath at her computer waiting for my revamped version of Capacitance. She might not even really want it anyway. So, I decided to give my mind a break from my characters. It may not make sense to anyone but the writer, but your characters are always with you. The brain is always carving away at them, shaping them and trying to fit them together into this perfect story. Believe it or not, it’s rather difficult to make the mind stop doing this! However, as Johnny and I hiked mountains, walked beaches, and sipped poolside drinks, I was able to let the characters go and give my mind a much-needed respite from what had been a very high pressure journey of expectations that were too high on a timeline that was way too short.

I Moved

After our travels, not wanting to cease our constant companionship of the past six weeks, Johnny and I moved in together. It was a very natural choice, especially since I no longer needed the secluded haven of living on my family’s farm. However, my delicate, over-thinking writer brain always needs time for the proverbial waters to settle after they are disturbed by any major change (thanks, brain), so during this transitory time, the characters in my mind continued to stay silent–or were drowned out by all the other noise. Until one day they spoke up again. Although this time it wasn’t Mara and Runey clamoring for my attention, it was a completely new story, inspired by this old, odd river town I’d moved into. A town where Victorian mansions march up and down the riverfront hills, shoulder to shoulder with a Catholic university and mystery fills the air (to romanticize it heavily). It’s always said to write what you know, and I think small town Kansas fits the bill and represents an unexplored potential for stories. Johnny and I aren’t in this small town by choice but rather by career moves, but I think this piece of our puzzle serves several purposes, one of them being major inspiration for a new novel. I am not going to say much more about this project I am working on. I’ve already said too much about it! This time around, there won’t be any jumping the gun. No aspirations of fame dancing in my mind after the first draft. But I will say, I am excited about this project and I’m approaching it in an entirely new way by doing more planning and structuring of the plot before I start writing. So now I appear more lazy than ever since much of this work has been contained to the old cranium thus far (HA).

In conclusion, no, I haven’t forgotten Mara and Runey’s story. I don’t think I ever will forget it. That statement makes it sound so final, and that’s not intentional. Truly, I plan to tackle that saga again in the future and implement new ideas–maybe even the ones I improvised 10 minutes before pitching! That being said, I am in no hurry to get back to Capacitance. I got severely burnt out on it and I want to make sure I am fully fresh and ready to be excited by the project before I start it again.

What’s in store for 2017? Already, I have a lot of travel planned. The Luna Elise blog is picking up steam. Thus, there will be distractions. However, I am going to go into full-on writing mode. Like, hide in the basement with notes all over the walls and a giant white board full of outlining writer-mode. The downside of going offline in my writing mind for so long is that it makes it VERY hard to get back into the habit of self-discipline and treating writing like a job. That is the ultimate struggle. So, 2017 is going to be a tough one. I welcome your encouragement and understanding of my very infrequent blog posts. 🙂

I just made a list of the key points I have to wrap up to finish the Capacitance trilogy. There are 14 of them (so far), the last one of which being “The state of the world.” So that’s intimidating; cue me running away from my computer, never to write again. Just kidding–maybe.

The other 13 points are a bit more doable. Most of them are comprised of characters. Obviously I will have to tie up Mara and Runey’s story lines as well as all the secondary characters. I listed some tertiary characters on the list as well. At this time, I am not sure how relevant they will end up being to the endgame of my story, but listing them was more of a device to remind me what tools I have in my toolbox, so to speak.

Time for a little writing secret. I didn’t figure this out until basically just now (embarrassingly enough). Employing characters you’ve already introduced to come into plot play down the road makes you look like a genius-level author. Look at J.K. Rowling–that tiara from the Sorcerer’s Stone comes out of nowhere as a horcrux in the last book. Was she planning this all along or did she come to a point in her story where she needed a horcrux so she plucked one out of the existing scenery she had created? We may never know, but in my case it would have been the latter situation. You should all know by now most of my writing is improvisational, so characters, settings, actions all spew out of their own accord. Now that I’m nearing the end of the trilogy, I have the luxury of flipping back through these characters and scenarios I have created and deciding how best to use them. That obscure character from midway through Capacitance? Maybe she will come back and play an intrinsic part in the resolution of the trilogy, leaving readers to wonder at my strategic placement and planning (ha!).

To summarize, I think using this strategy will help me organize my thoughts, discover new creative ideas and ultimately give a well-rounded feel to the trilogy as a whole. Time to go crank out some exciting installments!

I always knew Capacitance would center around two main characters–from the very first image of inspiration, I knew that the story would involve a romance, and I also knew that I wanted to explore both aspects of that love story, namely both the male and female perspective. By default, the more characters introduced into a story, the more complex it gets, especially if point of view jumps between more than one main character. I have spoke of J.K. Rowling’s masterful handling of this multi-main character challenge in The Casual Vacancy. My story is not as challenging as that since it only concerns two main characters, however, the balance is important to keep readers invested in each of the characters in their own right.

While writing Capacitance, I more or less stuck to a basic formula of alternating chapters; I would have a Mara chapter then a Runey chapter. These chapters would compliment each other because they would build on the action, but not rehash it. If the narrator never follwed Runey’s tale, the reader would be confused as to Runey’s motives for pursuing Mara, and the love story would not be as fleshed out. By allowing readers to see both sides of the story, they are given more insight and validation for what is happening between Mara and Runey.

The male protagonist is something that is not always commonly seen in novels. By and large, the majority of today’s readers are women, thus selling to that market is most profitable in the way of book sale numbers. Even in many of today’s bestsellers, the male co-leads are somewhat shallow; you know they are the love interest, and the female lead is beyond dedicated to them, but the story doesn’t really flesh out their characteristics or qualities which make them so compelling. I wanted to create a complicated male co-lead for this series; one that the readers would come to know as innately as Mara. Thus the chapters from Runey’s world show insight into his emotions and way of thought. Writing from the male point of view is a challenge, but I really enjoyed writing Runey’s segment of the story. He has flaws and he makes big mistakes, but ultimately, he becomes a better man for it.

While writing, I sometimes found myself enjoying Runey’s segments even more than I enjoyed writing Mara. In Chapter 4 we see the first really emotional, inward action on a character’s part, and that is Runey laying in bed with the realization of his loss of Juleia trickling back to him. I related to this scene so deeply and with Runey himself that at first he seemed to almost be taking over as the main character. However, as the story progresses, as you will hopefully someday see, the two really come to balance out and the storylines become equally as compelling, even though I stress out a lot over one not being as exciting as the other. As is so often the answer, the characters will work and speak for themselves and make the story flow as it should.

One final thing worth mentioning about maintaining this balancing act between two main characters is the use of third person point of view. Since the reader is not being forced to bounce back between two narrative voices, the book has more flow and continuity. The third person narrator bridges the gap between Mara’s chapters and Runey’s chapters creating a cohesion which guides the readers along in a much less disjointed manner. This also makes things less confusing in segments where the two are physically together when a first person voice narrator could get a little tricky.

Today may be the day I start the final book of the trilogy, so hopefully I can keep my character balance going strong through the final act! I will be posting more on my current writing progress and the in-between books process tomorrow, so stay tuned! 🙂

What a week it has been for Inductance! It’s hard to believe that just one week ago I was writing about summer slumps and the struggle to stay positive. I suppose some of that positive thought must have made its way into my mind because I came out this week with major progress and am now 2 mere chapters away from finishing my first draft of the novel!

I suppose the slump of last week arose from the fact that I was getting so close to the end—I knew I wanted the ending to crackle with suspense and get readers excited for the final book in the trilogy. Like always, I doubted myself and my ability to create a sparkling finish, and these doubts held me back. I think it is an important lesson for me to take to heart as a writer that I will have these weeks where I need to spend more time in my head than in front of a computer screen. I can’t expect the plots to always come spilling off my fingertips almost of their own volition. Sometimes the story takes time to develop just right in my mind, and I need to stop letting that frustrate me and accept that part of the process

The main problem I have had is the fact that Inductance has two major plot lines running through it. In my opinion (and I will try not to give any spoilers), one of these storylines has been more exciting than the other. Thus I speed through the exciting storyline with ease, but then when it comes time to turn my attention to the other side of the plot I get discouraged and frustrated wishing it could come as easily as the other. I think is one of those issues like I have talked about in the past where I need to trust my ability as an author; even though the plot seems like it is dragging and not engaging to me, this might not be the case for readers. Inductance is full of suspense, and people who have read from it have said it grips their attention; as an author, I cannot fully appreciate this addictive sense to find out what happens next—I already know! I suppose this is one reason why the plot might seem less exciting in my mind. However, during my slow week of thought, I was able to think of some interesting elements to tie the two storylines together and also inject the “weaker” storyline with some new twists of its own.

It felt rather strange actually knowing the exact point in the plot where Inductance would end; it was very different than Capacitance. I had no idea when I would end my first novel; I remember one day riding in the car with my Dad (who had been reading as I wrote) and asking him, “I think it might be about done?’ He thought about it for a moment, and said, “Yeah, but give it one more big twist.” So I thought up the twist at the end of the process for Capacitance; with Inductance, I have known all along what the excitement at the end would be. The whole book was building towards it. Thus, I feel less energy and excitement going into my writing this time. Writing the end of Capacitance gave me that shaky adrenaline rush that one gets from doing an extemporaneous speech or improvisational acting—the thrill of the fresh products of your mind. However, the ending of Inductance has been percolating in my mind for quite some time now, so the feeling is very different—but no less awe inspiring being this close to the end of such a massive undertaking.

I say “end” in a very loose sense of the word; I certainly don’t want to say I am finished working on Inductance. Editing is another very real part of the process, but for me, to have the accomplishment of getting the story out on the page after my past struggles with writer’s block, is a cause for celebration. Right now I am working on Chapter 32 of the 33 planned chapters in Inductance. This week was an amazing feat of writing in which I accomplished as many as three chapters in a day—with a goal of writing five chapters this week, I wrote eight—more than making up for last week’s deficit. At 71,000 words currently (20,000 words more than this time last week), Inductance will be a shorter book than Capacitance, but I think this speaks to the tighter, more action packed, less descriptive style of this second installment. I hope everyone has a good weekend—I will post Chapter 4 of Capacitance on Monday, hopefully as celebration of my finishing Inductance!!

Chapter 3 is a short, sweet little segment. Short, but nonetheless important. On my various attempts to start Capacitance, it was always a downfall of mine to try and insert too much world building right away; I wanted to open by describing the University campus, I wanted to describe Mara inch by detailed inch, etc. However, this is not what readers need–while some appreciate exposition, most do not want to be overloaded with information. They want action and discovery of the character through that action and carefully placed morsels of exposition. Enter Chapter 3; finally writing Capacitance in a sustainable manner, here in Chapter 3 we finally see some of these details come out.The first paragraph gives readers a sense of place as not only the time of year is set, but also the campus itself is fleshed out. This paragraph becomes necessary as this chapter is the segue into the world of the characters on the University–thus, the reader now knows the lay of the land they’ll be navigating. The architecture of the campus buildings is meant to be accessible; although the story is set in the future, I am not going for a spacey, hard sci-fi feel. Throughout the series, I am for a marriage of the familiar and the new.

This hits home even more in the description of Mara’s apartment. The panorama described in the first paragraph was brought into view by a polarized glass which shifts from opaque to clear depending on the time of day–this is obviously an example of speculative technology that most don’t have in their homes today. However, many people (albeit those wealthier than I!) have satin sheets and the luxurious fittings as seen in Mara’s bedroom.

With Mara herself, we don’t see anything too futuristic. I took the morning routine in Chapter 3 as an opportunity to describe her a bit more, and through this description to highlight some of her character attributes. You see that she is very fastidious about her personal appearance as well as being a bit of a wardrobe junkie! This attribute sets her apart from the stereotype–so often we think of the stereotypical female “nerd” with the terrible hairstyle and disheveled appearance, and Mara is breaking this stereotype. Her clothes in specific are another way I am keeping the tone of the story familiar and not too futuristic; the outfit I describe her putting on is vague yet specific, thus it’s a style that anyone could imagine, and it is certainly not outlandish. By playing down the futuristic element, my hope is to bring readers closer to the characters, and, later in the story, perhaps make them feel uncomfortably close to home as events play out.

I am explicating all these things here this morning in great detail, but I will admit something to you all–at the time I was writing Chapter 3, I thought of NONE of these things. They were, of course, abstractions in my mind of the overall theme of the work, but I did not agonize over each sentence, thinking to myself “Ok, I have to have the perfect blend of future and present.” I just wrote. And things flow very naturally when you are confident and know what you’re doing overall. For example, the character Langdon was someone I had never envisioned until the very moment I was writing Chapter 3 and he showed up walking down the hill to catch up with Mara. Who he was and his relationship with Mara just flowed very naturally out of my mind. The day after I had written Chapter 3, I thought to myself, “Wow that was a really stupid choice, Elise, it’s probably terrible.” So I fired up my computer and re-read Chapter 3, and to my surprise it just worked so well. Langdon was completely necessary and I appreciate my writer-instincts for telling me so. He adds another dimension to the world, as well as to Mara’s character–plus, he becomes more important later on…hint, hint! 😉

Isn’t it funny how many thoughts one very short chapter can bring up? I think the main theme–as it usually is–is to be confident in your craft and skill as a writer and let the rest take care of itself. Coming up tomorrow: another post on a book that has inspired me! Cheers! 🙂

As I’m sure many of you have already heard, I really enjoyed writing Chapter 2 of Capacitance. For me, it was where the story really started to flow and I really started to get excited about the action of the story. My first draft of Chapter 2, just like Chapter 1, was drafted on a yellow legal pad one night lying in bed. It was after this night that I knew I was going to have to switch to a computer because my hands wouldn’t be able to accommodate the large amount of writing that was going to take place–I knew from writing this chapter that this was a story I was finally going to tell.

While I had always known that Mara and Runey were going to be part of the story, it wasn’t until much later during my three year stint of writer’s block that I conceived of Juleia. First, I knew that she would be involved with Runey in some way to complicate the romantic plot line. I thought that maybe she would be someone from his art class on the Design campus that he would run into and get involved with after already knowing Mara. Finally–and not too long before I scrawled out the chapter–I decided on the current way their relationship is set up. Thus the character of Runey is complex from the beginning; the reader sees him going through this awful situation where he has to break up with his girlfriend on the spot, yet they also see his intense dedication to the Restorationists. By setting up my male lead in this way, it creates a more multidimensional character; without the complication of Juleia, Runey is just a young man who is assigned to get closer to a young woman. Interesting, yes, but not quite as dramatic!

The setting and the action in this scene was entertaining as well. I loved creating that dark, mysterious atmosphere. Many readers have commented on the description of my scenes and how they feel as if they are in the Seminar Hall, or the Underground, etc. This is excellent feedback! I sometimes worry that I include too much description. For me, there is no such thing, but for some readers it can get a bit tedious. However, I am glad that most seem to be enjoying it thus far. Another aspect of description I enjoyed creating in this chapter was the action between the characters. Juleia’s hair curtaining her face, the subtle hand gestures and reactions of the Professor, etc. I think this is one of the main reasons I enjoyed this chapter so much–all these little actions that speak so loudly. The first chapter was a lot of introspection and little action (by default, since Mara was sitting in class). Chapter 2 hopefully draws readers in with the promise of more action to come.

With that being said, some criticism I have received for Chapter 2 is that it does jump in too fast. I heard this from an agent who looked over my first three chapters. I thought that was an interesting critique as readers/agents usually want to be drawn into the action immediately. If anyone else felt this way while they were reading, please let me know! Personally (and I am obviously biased) I consider this chapter to whirl the reader deeper into the world of Capacitance. Yes, it may be a little disorienting at first, but that is natural for the reader–plus, it adds to the sensation I was trying to develop with the chapter. Runey and Juleia themselves are both a little confused and disoriented as they descend to their meeting with the Professor. By tossing the reader into the situation as well, it puts their mind in the same place as the characters they are reading about.

Once again, thanks to everyone who has been checking out my chapters! I will probably post Chapter 3 on Monday. I am not sure how many chapters I will post overall–I can’t post the whole book, sorry! 😦 –but how many I post depends on how much support and following they are getting, so if you like what you’ve been reading, tell a friend or two! 🙂

My Facebook page hit 100 likes over the weekend, so without further ado, here is Chapter 1 of my first novel, Capacitance! Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions…I love feedback, and I have especially been trying to work with my first chapter lately. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for the support on my Facebook page! 🙂

Chapter 1

Mara hated Mondays. University Science students were given the freedom to make their own lab schedules—except on Mondays, when attendance at the seminar lectures conducted by renowned Science professors was mandatory. Mara always felt a twinge of annoyance when she passed the Seminar Hall doors and sacrificed an entire day that she could have spent ensconced in her private laboratory four floors beneath the ground, cozily gathering and analyzing data in sweet solitude. However, this Monday was different; as Mara entered the Seminar Hall that morning, she felt a searing blaze of anxiety instead of the usual flicker of annoyance—she needed to be in her lab today. Currently, she was conducting tests that—if her hypotheses were correct—could yield troubling results, to say the least. She walked down the rows of the amphitheater where the lectures were held, bemoaning the fact that she was not in her lab monitoring, observing, waiting. Instead, she was wedged into a sleek but slender metal ergonomic seat with a small attached writing desk, obliged to sit through the days’ lecture series. All around her, other Science students joked amongst themselves, compared notes or recounted their misadventures of the just-past weekend, but Mara isolated herself in the front corner of the amphitheater and impatiently tapped her pen while studiously avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Finally, the students quieted down as a tiny woman emerged from a door behind the desk at the bottom of the room; she was short and wiry thin—the true definition of a waif, she would have been easily passed over by the eye were it not for her flamboyant attire. She wore six inch electric yellow spike stilettos (still barely bringing her over the height of five feet tall), cobalt wide leg slacks and a kaftan dyed with a swirl of garish colors. A puckish face with bright red-framed glasses and a shock of short, silver hair topped off the ensemble. This colorful person was Professor Beliz, the first of today’s seminar presenters. She raised one rainbow-manicured hand and all talking ceased. Mara unsheathed her pen upon Beliz’s first words, “Today I am so delighted to make to you all a very important announcement!

“As University students of Science, you know that you comprise only a fourth of this institute of research and learning,” Beliz continued, “Together, the colleges of Science, Design, Politics and Technology produce our nation’s next innovators and leaders. Here high on our hill in the college of Science, we are physically isolated from these fascinating colleagues in the other colleges. However, we are mentally isolated from them as well. It is easy to get lost in a project or experiment and forget about the world as a whole. Unfortunately, this can lead to unintentional closed mindedness. Closed mindedness indicates the staunching of creativity, and once you’ve lost creativity, well, nothing of genius comes of that…” Beliz paused dramatically then carried on, “This is why the University Board of Directors has decided to implement a change; we want to create an infusion of new ideas and patterns of thought. We will do this by getting students from all the disciplines to collaborate together on projects! Tomorrow, your normal independent lab activities will be suspended. All students will be required to convene on the Campus Green tomorrow at 9 AM sharp for further instructions. Now we will resume the normal schedule of seminar lectures, breaking for an hour’s lunch at noon as usual.”

With a jingle of jeweled bangles and the click-clack of her deadly florescent heels, Beliz exited the door through which she had arrived. The seminar hall had already begun to buzz with whispers as Beliz got to the core of her announcement, but no sooner had her hot pink lipsticked lips uttered their last syllable than the hall erupted in students’ unrestrained voices speaking their excitement and concern. They had a right to be concerned; University Science students had to complete six years of general education and six years of specific discipline schooling before coming to the University. Each student’s whole childhood led up to securing a spot in the University, and for students of Science, entrance into the University meant leaving a life of learning from books and carefully supervised labs to actual, practical application. In order to gain entry to the University College of Science, prospective students had to have a project plan—a prospectus for an ambitious line of research and development they planned to carry out during their time as a Science student. At the end of four years at the University, Science students were expected to be at presentation point with their projects. The success of the project at the end of four years determined the student’s success and his or her subsequent career, thus, every moment spent working on the project was crucial.

Mara sat fuming at her narrow, cramped desk as she processed the news. Her project was in the area of genetic engineering—a precise and complex science—and Mara believed it would fully take all of four years to bring her specific research to fruition. A group project could significantly slow her work down. Her hands shook with rage as she penciled in the 9:00 meeting into her small, emerald green leather agenda book. Mournfully, she crossed off her scrawled lab task notes she had made for herself. The anxiety which had been present all morning spiked to new levels. All of the delays to her lab time gnawed at the back of her mind; if her suspicions were correct, time was of the essence in her project.

Taking a deep breath, Mara settled as comfortably she could into the narrow metal desk chair, resigning herself at least to this wasted day. Mondays spent in seminar, were after all, part of the plan. To console herself, she swallowed her usual scruples, brought out her cell phone and scrolled through her mobile lab results under cover of the tiny writing desk. The speaker—Beliz had been replaced with a wizened but venerable faculty member—droned on, but Mara hardly heard him. She could see from the mobile lab files that the tests would be conclusive tomorrow afternoon. Firmly, she resolved to find a way to get to her lab tomorrow—even if it meant putting in an extremely late night. Her mind bristled with anticipation at the thought of the test results actually coming in. She both dreaded and longed for the moment. This could be it, she thought to herself; and a chill trickled down her spine. The gravity of the research she was conducting led to her simultaneous fear and excitement. If she succeeded in her project, the rewards would be immense. Mara had dreamed of success her entire life, and she was motivated by the accolades this project could stand to win for her. However, the danger she would risk if she failed was so immense that she carefully avoided thinking about it, tucking the dark thoughts away behind the formidable shield of her ambition.

Letting her mind flow freely into the intricacies of her lab work, bolstered by covert checks of her lab notes, the day passed with relative ease after the shock of Beliz’s initial announcement. Mara was actually surprised when she saw the students around her filing up and out of the classroom. The lab building was kept locked all day on Mondays, to prevent the temptation for students to skip seminar, so Mara had no choice but to return to her dormitory that evening and work on her lab files there. The tests themselves, which ran on a bank of computers deep underground in her lab, would have to wait until tomorrow—after the group meeting, Mara reminded herself with a sigh. Walking out of the Seminar Hall and into the fall evening air, still balmy yet with a cloying chill in the breeze, Mara turned to make her way to the Science dormitory.

Wryly, she thought to herself that dormitory was a rather unimpressive way to describe the imposingly tall building made graceful by its airy construction of light metal and glass which she now walked towards. Lovingly nicknamed “SciSky,” the dormitory where all the Science students lived was an architectural marvel which soared higher than any other building on campus. The inside of SciSky was just as impressive as the outside; Mara walked through the large glass doors and was greeted by an atrium packed full of amenities such as luxury shopping boutiques (a feature Mara made frequent use of), restaurants, and gyms. All these supported the privileged lifestyle of a University Science student. However, Mara’s treatment was more preferential than most; as she boarded the glass enclosed elevator, she pressed the button labeled “Penthouse.” Reserved for the top student from each of the four grade levels, the penthouse apartments were lavish, highly desirable accommodations on the top floor of SciSky.

The southwestern corner penthouse apartment was where Mara—recruited as top of her first year class—lived. Anxiety about the ensuing lab test results had returned to her by the time she entered her door, and she jammed the heel of her hand against the light switch with unnecessary force. The penthouse lit up with soft ambient lighting showcasing the modern mix of lustrous leathers and glowing natural woods. Mara tossed her malachite green leather tote down on the obsidian countertop and thought briefly about succumbing to a drink. Pushing the errant desire out of her mind, she reached instead for her research files. Documents in hand, she sunk down into her favorite chair, flicked the pins from her precise top knot and shook out her long mane of black hair. Feeling more relaxed, she opened a sheaf of figures and immersed herself in her work, all the while thinking that no one would be hindering her research if they knew the immediacy of the project she was working on—the potential disaster she was trying to prevent.

First of all, I have to get it off my chest that I really hate the term “pantser.” However, it seems to be the term in the literary world to describe the kind of writer I am–one who sits down at the computer and miraculously spins out chapter after chapter, never looking at an outline. It is a rather horrifying concept, when one thinks about it too much. How I don’t get lost in it all is beyond me, at times. However, it is the way I innately write; it always has been, even when I wrote literary critical analysis in college. To someone like me, the structuring of an outline brings a stricture of panic into the chest and usually an onset of acute writer’s block.

However, sometimes plotting is necessary. I have found it just as challenging to adhere to my pantser instincts during my sequel novel, Inductance, as I find it to sit down and create an outline. It is quite necessary to have somewhat of a plan for Inductance as it is so action-packed. When writing something action-packed, the structure must be so tight and riveting, that an outline is very helpful. Writing down what is going to happen next and who will be involved in it helps tighten up loose ends and bring all the elements together.

I would not be true to my ill-named pantser status if I did not do at least some of my writing on a whim–it’s simply what I am most comfortable with, and some of my best prose just spills off my fingertips when I let them get carried away. Thus, I reached a compromise for hopefully the remainder of Inductance. I have outlined some key plot points that I know need to happen. While running on my treadmill yesterday, I brainstormed them, then I made myself sit and physically write them out (an anathema for pantsers). Now I think I have achieved a great balance–my mind still has some creative freedom as it is not too hemmed in by the outline, but the need for some structured framework has been settled. So now I can be a pantser operating within a plot–I think it will work out beautifully!

Through all my adventures lately–both in attending the conference and querying–working on my second novel Inductance, has taken a backseat. This has been frustrating both because it is leading to a few errors in the work as well as because I don’t like days where I don’t write; unless it is a specified day off, I feel anxious and less accomplished than I do on those days where I have written a chapter. Don’t get me wrong, I usually take the weekends off, unless I am sitting at home with no plans (there have to be some days to recharge the mind and give the story a break!). However, especially with the conference, I did not have time to write for four days, and before that, preparing for the conference was time consuming as well. I started Inductance a little less than a month ago, and now I have 27,000 words done, so I am not doing awful at the whole thing, but I am definitely not as prolific as I was in my heaviest work phases of writing Capacitance.

I want this to change. This disconnected process that I have going right now is causing just that–disconnect–in my story. Once again, I am forever thankful to my Dad, the in-progress reader and editor, as he has caught some of these disconnects as he reads the new chapters of Inductance. For the most part, they have been relatively small, easy to correct errors. For example, today at lunch he caught a snag where the characters had planned to change their meeting place to different room, but then later on when the meeting actually occurs, I forgot to change its location to match the new plans. A minor detail, but one that readers WILL notice. I am glad it was caught, and I am actually excited to go back and change it because by connecting the details and having the characters meet at the new room, I think I can insert some really cool scenes into the story.

All that being said, I have decided to go back and read my work so far on Inductance–when I write, sometimes it is such an organic process that I literally don’t remember what I wrote after it’s done. This isn’t such a problem when I am writing a chapter each day and the flow remains fresh in my mind. I think that by going back and reading my manuscript thus far, I can refresh myself with the story and that will make it easier to keep on track with things, as well as possibly spark some new plot lines (the necessity for an action packed book is still daunting me!). It will also give me a chance to get some early edits!

Today I prepared and sent out five query letters, and hope to get a couple more done before the day is through. I think once I have all those sent out, then focus on Inductance will come much more easily.

Today I have spent a good chunk of time on AgentQuery.com, sifting through agents and slowly compiling a list of those agents I want to send my query letter to. I am going to narrow my list down to ten agents. It is a daunting task due to the extremely large volume of agents listed on the database site, and I am happy to have two definitively narrowed down after today! I have also been working on drafting my query letter, and I decided today to post the first two paragraphs of it–if any of my followers have any tips on this, please share as this is my first draft! Read ahead if you would like to see my first attempt at a query and also get a small preview of Capacitance!

Imagine a university very different from the ones in today’s society—a university where instead of doing keg stands and battling hangovers, students were engaged in top level, government sensitive projects or were members of secret high-stakes resistance organizations against those in power—enter the world of Capacitance where readers are introduced to Mara, a prodigy science student whose project in the field of genetic engineering is critically important to those in power; and Runey whose involvement in an underground resistance movement sends him on a mission to uncover the nature of Mara’s work, through whatever means necessary—even making her fall in love with him.

Capacitance, the first novel of a trilogy set in the dystopian future, is filled with themes of secrets, love and betrayal as it follows the stories of Mara—a stylish Science student whose intelligence has won her a place in the lavish life of society’s elite—and Runey—a shrewdly personable Design student whose dissatisfaction with society’s inequality led to his involvement in a government resistance organization. Their very different paths cross due to Runey’s mission, but the love that was supposed to be a farce, ignites between them in blazing reality. As Mara’s work unearths a problem which not only threatens the government, but also her life itself, Runey is also trying to uncover her secrets—while maintaining a few of his own. Throughout Capacitance, the characters tread a thin line between navigating the waters of young love and coming to terms with the sinister nature of the world they live in.

I am not entirely satisfied with this attempt, but I definitely like where it is going, and I am just relieved to have gotten the first draft hammered out–when I am dreading something I can drag my feet for ages before getting started, but when I finally do begin I always feel so much more optimistic! With that being said, I am off to write my next chapter of the next book in the trilogy, Inductance!