How to Pick Up Women at the Gym: Mistakes to Avoid

Dan Bacon
Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert and the author of The Flow, an eBook that teaches you the easiest way to get laid or get a girlfriend. Dan has been helping new men succeed with women for more than 14 years.

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The best way to pick up women at the gym is to be the confident, charismatic and easy-going guy who can chat and get along with random people on occasion.

You shouldn’t try hard to chat and talk to a lot of people, but just get yourself into the type of mood where your body language is relaxed, easy-going and open.

Genuinely focus on your work out and then, when opportunities present themselves, simply say hi to a woman, create a spark between you and her and see what unfolds.

For example, when a woman takes a break in between her set or a routine:

You: [Smile and say in a joking manner] Well, my workout was going really well until I saw you and now I’m distracted.

Her: [Most-likely laughing and enjoying the joke].

You: Okay, well I’m going to get back to my workout now, but I thought I’d at least introduce myself and say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name?

Her: Rebecca.

You: Okay hot Rebecca [include the word “hot” before whatever her name is], hopefully see you around [and then walk off and get back into your workout].

Alternatively, if she openly engages you in conversation and wants to keep talking, build up her attraction by adding a bit more humor and some flirting and then ask for her number.

For example:

You: [After some more chatting] Okay, well I’m going to get back to my workout for now, but I’d love to be able to get your number and give you a call sometime.

If neither of you have your phone with you, get her to write it down (if she can remember her number) or tell her to let you know when she’s leaving so you can get her to put your number in your phone.

Just be straight up about it and believe that you’re good enough for her. A lot of women feel insecure about their appearance in a gym, so don’t act as though you don’t like her. Be real, direct and open in a confident, easy-going way.

Of Course, Not All Women Are Single and Hoping to Meet a Guy When at the Gym

If you want a guarantee that the woman you’re going to approach and talk to is single, then you need to attend a singles event like speed dating.

However, outside of those environments, you have to be prepared to approach and meet women who are not available. Sometimes the woman really is going to be taken, so don’t worry about approaching and hearing, “Sorry, I have a boyfriend” when you ask for the number.

Sometimes, when guys are looking for hints and tips on how to pick up women at the gym, they’re hoping to be able to get a result on their first approach. Yes, that does happen, but if you happen to approach 5 women who are already taken, don’t be discouraged from approaching more.

Out of the next 5 women you approach, maybe 3 of them will be single, so don’t give up right away. As long as you are being a confident, easy-going guy and aren’t eagerly trying to approach every woman in the gym when you’re there, no one should have a problem with what you’re doing.

However, beware: I’ve heard from guys who’ve been kicked out of gyms because they essentially go there to walk around approaching women. Most people aren’t going to be cool with that if they see it, especially guys who are jealous of other guys approaching women when they don’t have the confidence to do so themselves.

To avoid any problems, just make sure that you focus on your workout while also keeping your body language and vibe open so you can capitalise on opportunities in a natural, easy-going way.

Mistakes to Avoid

Every environment that you approach women in will have it’s own selection of mistakes to avoid. When in a gym, some of the mistakes to avoid are:

1. Offering her unwanted advice on how to train.

Guys who are regular gym-goers will sometimes approach a woman under the pretence of offering her advice relating to the equipment that she’s using.

Yet, if she has not asked for advice or signalled through her body language that she’s open to offers of help, then she’s usually not going to respond well to a guy who approaches to teach her how to train properly.

In the same way that a group of women might display closed body language on a “girls only” night out, a woman might display closed body language in the gym because she is there to focus on her workout and isn’t interested in using that time to socialize and meet guys.

If a guy ignores those cues and approaches her to offer “advice,” he’s going to get rejected unless he can snap her out of that frame of mind by using humor to get her laughing and then having a fun, easy-going conversation.

2. Thinking that his physique will turn her on and make her approach.

Some guys hear women talking about a guy’s muscles or six pack and hope that if they just build the perfect physique, women will drop to their knees and open their mouth.

That might be how women behave on TV shows, in comedy movies and in some music videos, but it’s not how things usually work in the real world.

Some women definitely do feel attracted to guys with muscles and only want to have a boyfriend, lover or husband who is big and strong, but in a gym full of fit guys, what makes a guy stand out is his body language and vibe. If he and the woman happen to look at each other, what is going to really turn her on is if he can smile at her in a confident, charismatic way.

Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction works and how you can use it to help you pick up women at the gym…

For most women, it’s not a guy’s muscles that impress her the most, but who a guy is on the inside.

For example: If a guy has big muscles, but is secretly insecure about his attractiveness to women, then that will come through via his nervous or tense body language, vibe and behavior in the gym.

With this in mind, when a guy devotes all of his spare time to pumping iron and building bigger muscles in the mistaken belief that it will make him irresistibly attractive to women, he’s missing the point.

Likewise, if a guy lingers around in the gym every day bragging (i.e. by making loud grunts and groans when lifting heavy weights) or posing (i.e. by clenching his muscles or sitting down to rest on a bench while putting on a very masculine, tough guy act) for the women he sees there, then he is simply wasting his time.

Even if a woman does like the look of him, she will rarely approach him and begin hitting on him.

Sure, it will happen for some very good looking guys, but most of the time, women will simply send out plenty of signals to let a guy know that they’re interested in being approached by him. It’s then up to the guy to have the confidence to approach her and make something happen.

As you will discover from the video above, it’s up to you to identify yourself as a confident man and then take action in accordance with that belief about yourself.

You can go through life feeling as though you’re not good enough or that women aren’t going to be excited if you approach, but that type of thinking will never help you.

One of the most important things you can ever do for yourself is allow yourself to believe that you are worthy and that if you approach, women will feel attracted to you based on your confidence and other personality traits you display to attract them (e.g. humor).

Do You Know What Women Want?

Keeping yourself in shape is a great thing to do, but it takes more than looking good on the outside to be an attractive guy to the majority of women.

Most women place much less importance on looks that men realize. Yes, there are women out there who will only accept a perfect looking guy, but most women are much more flexible about what they find attractive in a guy than men realize.

When approaching a woman in a gym, it might seem that the type of guy that she really wants is going to have a perfect gym body, but that’s not always the case.

If you can make her feel a lot of attraction for you in other ways (e.g. you’re confident, charismatic, can make her laugh, etc), then she will quickly warm up to you and if she’s like most women, she won’t care if other guys in the gym have a better body than you.

You might have a perfect body or an average body, but when she is talking to you, she is talking to you. You are the guy who is making her feel attracted and turned on.

Here’s something weird about attraction that you have to understand if you are going to be successful at picking up women at the gym…

When you make a woman feel a lot of attraction for you based on your confidence and personality, she will start to look at your physical appearance in a positive light.

She will then look at any “imperfections” about you, as being cute or sexy because they are a part of you and you are the guy who is turning her on. It’s weird how it works, but it’s true.

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Author: Dan Bacon

Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert. He knows the secret to attracting and picking up women for sex and relationships, which has allowed him to enjoy his choice of women for many years. Watch this free training and he will share the secret with you.