She finds a snake through personal ad

February 27, 2007

Dear Annie, I am a 47-year-old divorced woman. About six months ago, I put an ad in the personals and "Travis" answered. We had a lot in common and really hit it off. I fell head over heels for him. We would see each other almost every night and sometimes Saturdays. We always went to my place and ordered out or rented a movie. I could only reach him on his cell. He had no land line. Recently, I found out two things: I have genital warts (I don't know from whom and Travis refuses to get checked) and Travis lives with a girlfriend, and has for four years. I want Travis to tell the girlfriend about the warts, but he won't. He says she would throw him out and then get revenge by destroying his life. He wants to continue seeing me on the sly. I love him, but I feel guilty about this. What's the right thing to do? Stuck in the MiddleDear Stuck, Get unstuck immediately. Travis is a snake. He's cheating on his girlfriend and cheating on you, and he obviously has no intention of being faithful to anyone. You'd be a fool to keep seeing him on the side. Meanwhile, genital warts (HPV) can cause cervical cancer, so be sure to see your gynecologist. For more information, contact the American Social Health Association (ashastd.org) at (800) 227-8922. Dear Annie, Please tell me if I am being petty because I'm still stewing over this. My husband of six years went to his daughter's house last Christmas. (I couldn't go due to illness.) Upon returning home, there was no gift for me, not even a $1 bottle of bubble bath. Nor was there a phone call saying, "Thanks for all the presents you sent for my family." I spent over $600 and even had to return some of the gifts beforehand because I didn't purchase exactly what she had requested. I am the one who remembers all his children's birthdays. When they visit, I am the one who takes care of the cooking and cleaning up the mess they leave behind. I am the one who makes sure their father keeps his promises, picks them up on weekends and takes them to certain places. When his married daughter sends the grandchildren here for the weekend, I am the one who takes care of them. I am always nice, polite and welcoming. Am I overreacting, or is this daughter just clueless? Getting Tired of ItDear Tired, On the assumption that she likes you, it's cluelessness. Many children neglect to purchase gifts for parents. For them, gift-giving has always been a one-way street. This doesn't excuse such thoughtlessness, but it makes it less personal. For the next such occasion, ask your husband to remind his daughter how much it would mean to him if she remembered you with a gift or card. Dear Annie, I couldn't agree more with the writer who says women should definitely not take men into the women's dressing room while shopping. And on the flip side, women should stop going into the men's dressing rooms to check out their husband's or son's clothes. Your husband is old enough to walk back out and get your opinion if he wants it, and if your son is too young to do so, take him into the women's side. I can't tell you how many times I've had to use the men's dressing room with a woman standing outside the door. These doors have little real privacy, and seeing a woman perched so close makes me uncomfortable. I'd be willing to bet these same women would be quite agitated if I accompanied a female into the women's dressing room while she tried on clothes. I'll stay out of theirs if they'll stay out of mine. Richard in Gulf BreezeDear Richard, Well put. Ladies, take note. ANNIE'S MAILBOX KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR