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I hate Black Friday shopping. I’ve been exactly once, and I would rather have my lady bits scoured with a rusty Brillo pad than endure that shit again. For one, there are the people. Furthermore, there are the people. Finally, the fucking people. Too many people in one place willing to trample one another to […]

I am just three days shy of three weeks postpartum with my third child (apparently three is the magic number), and I made the mistake of looking at myself naked in the mirror this morning. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I’m not sure there’s anything else I could say that would capture the reality of that shit show. […]

I am 2 weeks away from my scheduled c-section and 4 away from my technical due date, and I can’t even see myself remaining pregnant through tomorrow, let alone half a month. I’m so uncomfortable and in pain and over this pregnancy that I’m about to reach up in there and pull out my own […]

Holy eff, you guys. Have you seen the viral video of the woman ranting about Bath and Body Works not having her specific candles? Because if not, you need to. If there’s one thing that really pisses me off, it’s when I want to exchange my Bath and Body Works Peach Bellini candles for some […]

I don’t know if it’s because I’m 8 months pregnant and exhausted, because I’ve got a killer sinus infection for which I can’t take any medication, because I have enjoyed a grand total of 20 minutes quality time with my children the past 48 hours after spending half the weekend grading essays and nearly all […]

…you find yourself dressed to the nines, but not because you’re headed out for a night on the town with your significant other. Rather, it’s because you’re supervising a school dance or other formal activity without pay. …you’ve been permanently glued to the same spot on the couch since Saturday morning, working on stuff for […]

Unless you’re an English teacher or grammar guru, you may be wondering, What the hell is an Oxford comma, and why do I care? I assure you, whomever you are and whatever you do for a living, the Oxford comma is nothing short of perfection, and you do care. You care very much. You do. SAY IT! I […]

If you’re a parent or about to be one, you likely know all too well that it’s a jungle out there. Parents are offered advice about and judged for everything from whether they choose to breastfeed or formula feed to whether they choose to stay home with their children or work outside the home. And […]