Creepy Man Freaks Everybody Out By Grabbing Knife to Defend Goat Sex As a ‘Constitutional Right’

Maybe the only thing more ridiculous than getting busted for having sex with an animal is getting busted for arguing so passionately that it should be legal.

In one of the more bizarre and unsettling crimes you’ll probably come across, 41-year-old Waukesha, Wisconsin man Shaun Keith Orris was arrested earlier this month after he got way too worked up while claiming it’s a constitutional right to do the nasty with a goat.

And, yes, alcohol was a factor.

Orris had had several drinks at a bar when he began asking customers if they felt it was okay to get intimate with the creature. The owner tosses Orris out after he refused to leave, so Orris did what any level-headed gent would: he returned with a knife, which prompted his arrest.

Even after he was cuffed, Orris continued his rant that goat sex was a-okay.

As it turns out, Orris was way off the mark, since Wisconsin forbids sex with animals. For his actions, he’s now looking at fines totaling $11,000 and up to a year in the slammer, where he would presumably learn about a whole other controversial kind of sex.

All we can say is we're grateful this guy wasn't around when they wrote the Constitution.