Saturday, November 15, 2008

Pregnancy

I realize that a lot of my posts lately have been about pregnancy, but have you ever really thought about it? As we spent another Saturday morning invading peoples houses and looking in all of their closets, I started getting really tired and really short of breath. It got to the point where if I didn't really really like the downstairs, I wouldn't even bother going up the stairs. I started thinking about how if somehow you didn't know you were pregnant, you would think that you were dying. Here's just a casual glance at the "What You May Be Feeling" section of my pregnancy book:

Heartburn, flatulence, bloating

Headaches

Nasal congestion, occasional nosebleeds, or ear stuffiness

Bleeding gums

Leg cramps

Frequent urination

Difficulty sleeping

Increasing clumsiness

Fatigue or extra energy, or alternating periods of each

Hair loss

Extreme irritability

I left out the obvious pregnancy symptoms like, 'Fetal activity', because we're pretending you don't know your pregnant and anything with the word 'discharge' in the description, because that's just gross. I'm no doctor, but I am a nurse and know something about disease processes and if someone came in to a clinic complaining of flatulence, hair loss, bleeding gums, clumsiness, and extreme irritability, wouldn't you not only think they were making it up, but in the back of your mind, be wishing you could refer them to Dr. House?

As a side note, I think the extreme irritability is extremely unfair. Between the flatulence, leg cramps, nose bleeds, difficulty sleeping, and frequent urination, (and the fact that I'm gigantic) I think I have enough to be irritated about without any extra help, thank you very much.

In the words of my sister Amy, "If Heavenly Father wanted us to have a lot of kids, you'd think he'd make it a little bit easier."

3 comments:

Yeah, I've always felt like being pregnant has given me the (albeit temporary) experience of being obese. I gain a ton of weight when I'm pregnant, and the strain on my body is enough to make me realize that I never, ever want to be obese.

Who are all those people who experience "extra energy" during pregnancy??

Us and Things

We are the Balls: raised in California, raising kids in Arizona. Amanda is sacrificing every last shred of her sanity to the care and feeding of the little ones while Tyler earns bread and butter by designing spaceships. Welcome to our craziness.

A taste of the Ball life

Amanda: What do you want for lunch: ham sandwich or peanut butter sandwich?Lillian: Ham. No, peanut butter. No... ham... No, peanut butter.Amanda: Ok, I'm going to make you a peanut butter sandwich. (makes sandwich)Lillian: NO! I WANTED HAM!!!!Amanda: You said peanut butter, and I told you I was going to make you peanut butter.Lillian: No... I think you just spaced out Mom.

Tyler on dodo birds: I mean, any species that can be wiped out by rats probably didn't deserve to live. Nature should have selected them a long time ago to go extinct... it's like it forgot and got there late.

Lillian: I like carrots mom. They're like... juice you eat.

Tyler was reading Lillian a picture book in which a little boy finds an airplane in his closet and takes it into space where he runs out of gas and lands on the moon. On the moon, he meets a little Martian boy, wearing a space suit, who's spaceship had crashed.Tyler: How come the Martian needs a space suit and the little boy doesn't? This book is so inaccurate.

Lillian threw a piece of food during dinner.Tyler: Lillian don't throw food.Lillian: But, it was just a little bit of food.

Amanda looks over and sees Lillian desperately trying to shove the Camelbak valve into Nora's mouth.Amanda: Stop that! Don't put that into her mouth!Lillian: Mom, I'm just playing doctor.Amanda: Well, don't put it into her mouth.Lillian (accompanied with change in tactic): Just her ears.

Lillian (pointing): This is my neck. This is Daddy's neck. This is Mom's neck. Nora doesn't have a neck.

Amanda: Listen to this, "The men and women of the Yana tribe in California speak different dialects." (TIME Magazine).Tyler: The men and women speak different dialects in our house: sense and nonsense.

I ran upstairs briefly and left Nora in her chair with a curious Lillian looking on. Nora started fussing and crying a little and I heard Lillian say, "Nora! Stop Crying! Use your words!"

We practiced and practiced saying "Daddy, I missed you" all the way to the bus stop, a full five minute drive. Upon arrival, I prep Lillian one last time. I roll down the window, Tyler sticks his head in, and I prompt Lillian, "do you have something to say to daddy?"Lillian looks up at him with her eyes full and sincere, "Juicebox."

Amanda: This dictionary says Wednesday can be pronounced wendz-dee or wendz-day.Tyler: Well... that dictionary was written by an old person.