Monthly Archives: August 2016

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Pretty much forty-eight hours from now, most of you will be at your Labor Day weekend getaways and will have one mission in mind–to get it done summer ’16 style. Whether you’re bulldozing through the Jersey Shore, spray painting on thatSpeedo for Rehoboth or just planning on kickin’ it Xscape style at a block party on the, um, block, it’s truly time to relax, unwind and let the sunny (and f#$king hot!) memories take over for one last sun-kissed romp.

Of course, it can also be a depressing time of year for some of us (okay, all of us) because…summer, which is why the perfect playlist is required to help make us not feel all emotional like Britney on a botched Matt Lauer interview. Here’s ten from deep inside the Philly Mixtape end-of-summer dance music vault, ranging from the recent (Hey, Ms. Lovato) to the classic (you still betta werk, Ms. Houston), but each of these floor fires are guaranteed to not just chase those Lana blues away, but help you man the f#$k up because looking at how fast time goes by quickly goes by these days, Memorial Day 2017 will be here before you know it.

Now, let’s dance and be safe as f#$k (and dry??) this holiday weekend.

Steve Appleton/”City Won’t Sleep”/Moto Blanco Remix Your feet won’t sleep once this classic Moto Blanco music flavoring gets underneath them and takes you out into the deepest depths of the dance music sea. True story.

David Tavare/”Hot Summer Night” One of those satisfying grooves that plays out like a rewire…and then isn’t.

Bananarama/”Look on the Floor”/Angel City RefireNot that you should ever stop playing “Cruel Summer,” but do it and then see why when it comes to this precious gift from the dance fire heavens.

Demi Lovato/”Cool for the Summer”/Todd Terry Rewerk A deeply delicious Demi rewerk is perfect for when you just wanna take a bite of the dance music cherry and have some fun…and remember..don’t f#$king tell your mother, bitch.

Whitney Houston/”It’s Not Right, But It”s Okay”/Thunderpuss 2000 Remix While it’s not right that summer has seemed to have come to an abrupt end, it’s okay as long as we have Ms. Houston’s anthem for the ages intertwining with our werk lives for all of dance music eternity.

The Knocks/Carly Rae Jepsen/”All That”/Knocks Bootleg Remix Now, cool it down…but not too much…as it’s time to get out there and poach one last summer one night stand to this remix.

Candi Station/”Summer Time With You” End of summer chill/baby makin’ jam provided by the dearly departed Ms. Station and this timeless sugary groove.

Dave Aude/Jessica Sutta/’i’m Gonna Get You” Now, get out there and get it and own fall because there’s a whole lot of pumpkin spiced everything headed your way and you need to dance your way past all of those basic EDM bitches at Starbucks. Go.

Out of all the things we truly came to terms with this summer–Trump really did that say that s#$t and Ryan Lochte is really a board certified..dumbass–one thing we also realized is that Ms. Ariana Grande is certainly not living that Nickelodeon feud life anymore because she’s, like, a grown up pop star, now, you guys!

Gently gliding miles away from last summer’s pesky donut licking, um, scandal, our favorite window shattering songstress first served us life at the top of the season with the release of her slinky, scandalous third record Dangerous Woman. (which followed a now classic romp on SNL…please come back, girl). Although the album landed in the runner-up position its first week out, the ravenous record continued to dominate the top twenty of the Billboard 200 album chart all summer long, thanks to its slinky title track, followed by the release of the thunderous “Into You,” which was paired perfectly with a cotton candy coated video in which she finally let..that..hair..down. Yas, Frankie Grande kween.

But perhaps its the way she’s closing out of the sexy season is what makes the former Sam & Cat star the queen of all things summer music (no shade, Britney…we all also know Bey now that you’re in a class all of your own) by serving us Labor Day life with the video for the third single release (we’ll get there soon, “Be Alright”) from Woman, the reggae-ed up, “Side to Side.”

While we don’t know if “Side to Side” will finally give Ariana that number one single she deserves at this point (girlfriend works really, reallyhard), what we can do is jazzercise it up to her eye-popping latest visual, which in turn will help you forget all about that performance of it at this past weekend’s VMAs. Enough said.

Well, that and those heels and those live pipes on an exercise bike on live T.V. is never a good idea. Never.

Although this may be a hard-hitting fact for some of you out there to face, but it looks like we now press play on a little Boyz 11 Men because the end of summer road is descending upon us quicker than Beyoncé snatching the night at the VMAs.

However, there’s absolutely no need to run screaming into the ocean because with an upcoming season that will see Adele, Bey, Puff Daddy, Lil’ Kim, Sia and Kanye all stopping by say, um, hello and give us more reasons as to why Philly will remain the best concert city in North America. Although those temps will soon drop, the local and legendary scene will continue to thrive, because plain and simple, this is how we do like Ms. Katy Perry.

But, yes, we must to come to terms that the days of extra tight speedos, extra Banana Boat and waaay extrabikini and stilettos combos are coming to an end, but any one of these next fifteen events are guaranteed to help you have a most fabulous Labor Day Weekend and beyond pumpkin spiced everything.

Let’s go.

Sing Your Life Karaoke Still haven’t found your summer fling yet? Maybe you will once you serenade him or her with a fine tuned selection from Sing Your Life Karaoke queen Sara Sherr’s collection of tracks that are more than ready for your song butchering pleasure. You can catch her on any one of these nights tending to every single one of your last-minute sun-kissed needs. Sun, 9-2, Bob and Barbara’s, 1509 South Street Tues, 9-2, 12 Steps Down, 9th and Christian Thurs, 9-2,Sarah’s Place, 1216 N. 29th Street Fri, 9-1 Southhouse, 2535 S. 13th St.

Monarch PhillyWith just a few weeks to go until the official end of…it all, in the name of Jennifer Love Hewitt, what the f@%k are you waiting for? Head to MP’s official website for all of the cabana-ed up truth you can handle….right now.

DJ Chris Urban at L”EtageSince that post-summer life can be quite an adjustment into all that pumpkin spice, let the fire served out by one of Philly’s hottest DJs help you have a most groove-filled Basic Bitch season.

Bruce Hornsby/Keswick Theatre/Tonight Yes, that Bruce Hornsby is about to take over your adult contemporary life and help you deal with all of those adult-ing changes, because, you know, that’s just the way it is.

Flume/Electric Factory/Wednesday All you have to do is let the bombastic beats of Flume get all the way in and all will certainly be right with your world. However, judging by the way his hit co-starring Kai, “Never Be Like You” has dominated summer airwaves since Memorial Day, that seems to have already happened.

Agitated!/Franky Bradley’s/Wednesday All of this end-of-summer stuff got you (yes, you) a little angs-ty? Then let your feisty hostesses Pilar Salt and HoneyTree Evil Eye, along with special guests Ebony Fearce, Jezabelle von Jane, Brett Robinson and Mr E help you (yes, you again) let it all out while each of them serve us deeply entertaining lessons on how to navigate through this little f#$king thing called life. Funny, scary, sad, infuriating, weird: everything goes at this red-hot show..and so should you.

Franky’s Foxes/Franky’s Bradley’s/Friday So just how will extraordinary local drag divas Maria TopCatt, Ms. Karma, Omyra Lynn, Mary D’Knight, Ann Artist, Iris Spectre, Zsa Zsa St. James and help you get your education on when they shimmy out of their fox holes to serve you back to school life during their monthly drag–stravaganza? There’s only one way to find out…go.

Heat Boutique/First Friday Freestyle Night/Club Moussai Get ready to feel that shoulder padded up music heat because DJs Mike Shaffer and Andrew Whitenight are ready to bring you back to the grooves of the 80’s and 90’s that took over Miami clubs, NYC summers, Philly skating rinks (The Palace, anyone?)…..and our lives back in the day. Maybe this classic fire, perhaps? Yes, Ms. Neneh Cherry.

Gallant/The Foundry/FridayLooking for the perfect show to get you in the mood to make those end-of-summer music babies? Then let the bedroom ready beats of Gallant help take you there, and if you’re still not convinced, drink it up to his slinky sonnet, “Bourbon,” and then be a little wiser and put it on, put it on, all night long.

Honeygasm Sunday/Franky Bradley’s Since a little sex on a Sunday is always a good idea, the ravenous HoneyTree EvilEye is back at it again to help you get your Honeygasm on for one last sun kissed romp. Join her along with your six pack-ed up host for the evening, the insatiable Flrt Vonnegut, along with special guests Sara (without an H, of course), Dottie Riot, Jessa Jordan and DJ Roberto Mejis, who are all more than pumped to strut along for the entertainingly decadent, yet oh, so succulent ride.