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Don't Put Your Tongue in My Ear

The innocent, unfortunate ear a) is a semidiscreet spot, b) is a
hole, and c) has folds. For these reasons, it has been ill-defined as
a major erogenous zone. This is one of the great misperceptions in the
history of Western civilization. Too many men work according to the
metaphor that her ear is the fragrant soil of the French forest, and
you are a truffle hound. Put yourself on a short leash.

Do . . . tread lightly. I'm not saying never go for the
ear. Just not every time. When you do, the ear is to be kissed gently,
maybe licked on the edges, or nibbled with restraint. Then you can
leave it alone. It's an ear.