Speak Out

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
whom he has redeemed from trouble.
Psalm 107:2 in the New International Version (NIV)

Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out!
Tell others he has saved you from your enemies.
Psalm 107:2 in The Living Bible (TLB)

Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
whom He has redeemed from the hand of the adversary.
Psalm 107:2 in the New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Let the redeemed of the Lord proclaim
that he has redeemed them from the power of the foe.
Psalm 107:2 in the Christian Standard Bible (CSB)

I have been redeemed and it is time for me to speak up and say so! I don’t typically speak up in a group setting, so this is not my natural go-to. However, this month is Write 31 Days and I’ve joined many others in setting the goal to write everyday this month. And, in obedience to my Heavenly Father, I will be proclaiming His redemption in my life. Since I haven’t blogged in forever, it will be a learning curve to come write in this space each day.

First of all, I grew up in a loving, conservative, Christian home. I was born in Alaska, the years I was seven and eight we lived in Wisconsin for the winter and went to Alaska in the summer. From nine until fourteen we lived full-time in Wisconsin; then two months after I turned fourteen we moved back to Alaska.

You know how so often young kids are asked what they want to be when they grow up? As a young girl, the only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom and wife.

Prior to nine, I was a very happy child. I totally believed Jesus was the answer to anything and everything, this belief has never wavered. I’ve often been told I have a lot of faith. Mostly, I’m determined and stubborn. I know what I believe and I believe whole-heartedly in Jesus Christ as my Savior – no matter what.

When I was nine, I was sexually abused. There was a lot of confusion and mistrust planted in my mind because the abuser told me my parents knew and were okay with what he was doing. Of course they didn’t know, but I didn’t know this until I was a junior in high school. After the abuse, I started to have nightmares. I never told anyone about them, but I practiced my absolute faith early on – in the nightmare I would simply say, “In the name of Jesus, you can’t hurt me”, and then I’d wake up. It was not uncommon for this to happen multiple times in a single night. There were a couple recurring, but most just had the same theme.

In my naiveté, the lies I believed included that I would never be able get married, which to me also ment I’d never have children. When I went to college I was introduced to someone who claimed to have been raised similarly to me, and said there was no issue with the previous abuse.

Shortly after getting married, I realized life was not going to be what I expected. Nor, was it something I should have understood. It was an abusive marriage – emotionally and verbally – probably in other ways too, but I haven’t chosen to research it too much. I didn’t understand what was going on, and I thought I was stuck for life. I had been taught, believed, and committed to marriage for life. I didn’t understand there were options unless there was physical abuse. So I attempted to make the best of life. I put aside the dream of being a mom, I doubted it could be good. I knew I didn’t want to bring children into the abusive situation.

Redemption: When I thought I wouldn’t ever get married, I did. While I thought it was best to not have children, God had other plans. My son is my oldest; over his second birthday I had a miscarriage. At that point life had becom enearly unbearable. I believed it best for him to be an only child. Eleven days after his third birthday, my daughter was born. Ten weeks later my husband, my childrens’ daddy left.

We were redeemed. He was the abuser, and he left. I can only attribute his leaving to being an answer to prayer. I would not have had children without being married, and I belived being married was for life. Our family of three was recovered. Our family of three was changed for the better. Our family of three was obtained, released, restored from “captivity”.

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