Friends, this is the best show you're not watching. Where else can you see a civil war reenactment with half-dressed hunky soldiers and fluttering false eyelashes?

Last night's episode was titled "Gone With The Window." First the Queens had to do a photo shoot which involved straddling a cannon while a giant fan blasted them with air. You know, a typical Thursday night. Jujubee had a tough time with the "storm" and when it was all over, she said breathlessly: "I have never been blown like that in my life."

Sahara Davenport also had a tough time with the fan… Or, at least, her eyelashes did.

The contestants also had to create a garment out of curtains and then wear it in a runway show in front of judges RuPaul, Santino Rice, photographer Mike Ruiz, Merle Ginsberg and Kathy Griffin. After their photographs and curtain couture had been judged, Sahara and Shangela — friends since college — found themselves in the bottom two.

Sahara and Shangela had to Lipsync For Their Lives. It turned into an epic battle of splits, leaps, shoe-tossing and shade-throwing. Another contestant, Sonqiue, described it as "Mortal Kombat." But instead of a struggle of good against evil, it was a skirmish of fierce vs. fierce! And was there ever a hairpiece left lying on the floor at the end of Mortal Kombat?

Even juicier was the aftershow, Untucked, in which we learned that acrylic toenails are bad, looking raggedy is bad, and one contestant, Tatianna, went to high school in drag. Amazing. If you missed it, click here to find out when it's airing again, or to watch online. This season is only going to get better — a sneak preview revealed that future guests include Henry Rollins, Niecy Nash and Dita Von Teese. Draggedy!