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Shock exchange: The tabloid week

Caprice who? Ah well, that’s showbusiness for you. And almost a verbatim account of a meeting between the lingerie model of that name and a police constable.

Caprice, 34, was stopped late last year because her car had a defective fog light. But just her luck to find one of the few patrolmen in the Metropolitan police who doesn’t keep track of the dizzy world of lingerie modelling. For when PC Paul Flashman leant through the driver’s window, he did not say, “’Ello, ’ello, ’ello, haven’t I seen you in a Wonderbra, Miss?” but instead noticed a suspicious smell of alcohol.

“I could see a white female of scrawny build with bare shoulders in her late thirties wearing heavy make-up and she had a reddened spot in the right centre of her cheek,” the officer told Highbury magistrates, as recorded