Dilberted
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the
experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character.
"I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for
the fourth time this week."
Link Rot
The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as
the sites they're connected to change location or die.
Chip Jewelry
A euphamism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned
into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE,
and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."
Crapplet
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just
wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
Plug-and-Play
A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John,
is great. He's totally plug-and-play."
World Wide Wait
The real meaning of WWW.
CGI Joe
A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills
and charisma of a plastic action figure.
Dorito Syndrome
Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive
substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours
surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."
Under Mouse Arrest
Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct.
"Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
Glazing
Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime
at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that
half the room was glazing by the second session?"
404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message
"404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried to
access can't be located.
"Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man."
Dead Tree Edition
The paper version of a publication available in both paper and
electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San Francisco
Chronicle..."
Egosurfing
Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers
looking for the mention of your name.
Graybar Land
The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's
processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar
creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed
like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."
Open-Collar Workers
People who work at home or telecommute.
Squirt The Bird
To transmit a signal up to a satellite.
"Crew and talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"
Brain Fart
A biproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly.
A burst of useful information. "I know you're busy on the Microsoft
story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?"
Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.
Cobweb Site
A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time.
A dead web page.
It's a Feature
Taken from the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature."
Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience that
you wish to gloss over.
Keyboard Plaque
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
"Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of
keyboard plaque."
Career-Limiting Move (CLM)
Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity.
Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Elvis Year
The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney the dinosaur's
Elvis year was 1993."
Alpha Geek
The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an office
or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Adminisphere
The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rack
and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
Tourists
People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class;
the rest were tourists."
Blowing Your Buffer
Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are
speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just
said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed.
"Damn, I just blew my buffer!"
Gray Matter
Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial
firms looking to appear more reputable and established.
Bookmark
To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor borrowed
from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at
Siggraph."
Nyetscape
Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off,
especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy
facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
Salmon Day
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to
get screwed in the end.