Queens Democrats will instead endorse Assemblyman Jose Peralta. All because Moneserrate switched parties earlier this year in an attempt to seize control of the State Senate and then went on trial for slashing his girlfriend's face with a broken glass and also there are dozens of campaign finance disclosure and ethics violations that someone should probably be looking into!

It's not all bad, though! The Democrats still haven't decided whether or not they should expel Monserrate from the Senate (hint: you should), and so far they have just asked him politely to resign, which he will not do.

Advertisement

And! Some good news! Secret billionaires are paying all of Monserrate's legal bills, in a gross and obvious violation of State Senate ethics rules that, once again, no one is investigating.

Still: not having the backing of the Democratic party might make it difficult for Monserrate to fundraise for his reelection.

Of course, it could be worse! Someone could've slashed his face open with a broken glass, literally dragged him kicking and screaming from his apartment, and dumped him off at a hospital miles away from home. That might put a damper on his day.