Tatianna Paulino is the mother of the late hip-hop manager and executive Steven Rodriguez—or as the world knew him, A$AP Yams. He died at the age of 26 in 2015 from a drug overdose. He helped orchestrate the rise of A$AP Mob, which has produced rappers A$AP Rocky, A$AP Ferg, and more. We chronicled the rise or A$AP Rocky in our documentary SXDDVNLY.

Below, Paulino writes about the experience of his death and how it’s shaped her.

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Today would have been my son Steven Rodriguez’s 28th birthday.

But at about 3 AM on the morning of January 18 2015, the phone rang displaying the number of his roommate. Steven, aka A$AP Yams, was the founder of the hip hop collective A$AP Mob; he would sometimes phone me from his friend’s number. But at this hour, I knew it wasn’t good. “Mama Tati, Steven isn’t feeling well.” I could barely make out the anxiety-ridden voice on the other end, and my heart began beating wildly.