November 19, 2014

Today is the best day I've had all week as far as productivity goes.
Yesterday I had a very bad day with my back. After my chiropractic
appointment I went in for a massage, but had to stop before it was
finished because I was in so much pain I was sweating and
almost couldn't talk. My massage therapist gave me a hug along with a
reduced rate for the incomplete massage and told me to let her know how
things were going. I didn't sleep much last night and when I woke up
this morning the pain was just as bad as it had been two days ago. But I
knew I had to get things done so I took a bath, got dressed as best as I
could and started with the laundry.

I had to take a break after that, but then I went back out to the
kitchen and tackled the pile of dishes that have been sitting out on the
counter since who knows when. Yesterday I started crying in the parking
lot at school and finally decided to reach out to my mother. I told her
I had hurt my back and asked if she would come out to help me with some
of the housework that needed to be done. I apologized for being nasty
even though she said some pretty awful things to me during our last
phone conversation, I didn't get an apology back from her, but she told
me that she loved me and she would be coming out tonight after she gets
off of work.

Here's what I've learned from my back being out of commission. I need
to find a way to get some exercise even when my body hurts and it's the
last thing that I feel like doing. I've been talking to a woman named
Patty who has been in the fitness industry since she began teaching
aerobics when she was fifteen. Throughout the years she's learned a few
things and I like her attitude and her explanations. Working with her
will cost some money, but as she explained, and my massage therapist
went into this as well when she was showing me some stretches and ways
to move, I have a very weak core and that's part of the reason why I
have trouble doing workout videos at home.

Sometimes I see people making chronic bad decisions and I wish with
all my might that their habits will come back to bite them. Well, now
that's happening to me so I'm paying the price for the nights when I
stayed up way past my bedtime, the times I didn't go for walks because
it was too cold or I was too tired, and the times when I chose to be on
the computer or my phone instead of doing the chores I could have been
doing around the house. Learn from my mistakes kids. It does not get
easier and there is no better time to address a chronic problem. I'm
proud of myself for saving the money that I did, but now it looks like
it's going to go to fixing problems that could have been avoided had I
taken better care of myself.

Going to keep this short since I still can't sit for long periods of
time. But I wanted to write and even though my journaling streak was
broken, I feel good about the things I've logged so far. Hopefully my
mom will be able to help me get some better underlying organizational
systems here at home and I'm looking forward to having her help. I
haven't appreciated her as much as I should have in the past so even
though I'm scared about how this visit will go since she tends to be the
critical bossy type, I need some help and I have to learn how to get
better about asking for it and accepting it when it is offered.

Until next time,

Jess

P.S. This is your daily reminder to sit up straight
and get in some stretching and exercise, however small the progress is,
it is much better than this type of pain.