Why did he give me the cold shoulder after our date?

When I first started talking to Clint I used to delete his number so that I wouldn’t text him, I would give his number to my friend to give to me only if I really begged. That way, even if I was tempted to text him, I couldn’t. Obviously, I no longer have that problem and he fortunately never gave me the cold shoulder after a date. When you’re two years into a relationship, 25 missed called is perfectly acceptable when you’re trying to get hold of your significant other (I don’t care what anyone says).

But it seems my single friends still haven’t quite mastered the art of when it’s appropriate to contact and when to play hard to get. If you have a date on a Saturday and still haven’t heard anything from them by Tuesday it’s easy for your brain to go into overdrive. You thought the date went well, but he hasn’t said a thing, what did you do wrong? Is he giving you the cold shoulder?

At this point, it’s important to remember that you haven’t text him either. There is a chance he is sat at home thinking exactly the same. Maybe he is wondering if you’ve given HIM the cold shoulder. And if you have text him, he is probably just playing hard to get.

In this situation there are two extremes of people, I happen to be friends with both. One panics when she hasn’t has a text within 24 hours of leaving the date. The other will try to play hard to get and will wait a couple of days to reply to every text – you can imagine how quickly that gets boring.

So how do you strike the balance?

Not getting a text or call after a date is hard, it’s rejection at its worst. It’s spending weeks talking every day and now they’ve seen you in person they don’t like you. You didn’t have sex on the first date, is that what put him off? Or did you have sex? Is that what put him off?

The only advice you can give someone in this situation is to sit the fuck down and chill out. We live for over thinking things, but we forget that if this does blossom into a relationship this is the part that you will tell your kids about. You need to enjoy it.

If enjoying it means playing the game, then play it. Just play it good. Don’t waste energy on someone who is clearly not interested (no matter how attractive they might be), nor should you play so hard to get that the other party loses interest. Distract yourself so you’re not at home staring at your phone and when he texts, engage in a good conversation. If you genuinely think he isn’t feeling it, then it’s on to the next one.

We sadly live in a world where the minute a conversation dies a long legged blonde with double Ds pops up for another. In this game there is only one winner – make it you!

You may also enjoy:

Follow

About Laura Lovejoy

Without sounding like I'm on a game show, I'm Laura, I'm 24 and I'm from London.

I created this blog is for women like me. Women who worry about things they shouldn’t, women who work fucking hard but know how to play even harder and women that are navigating that minefield called love.