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#60

I’ve been on two more dates with the Jewish guy (I really wanted a better name for him, but here we are. He’s not even religious!). After our first date and near-constant texting for a week, I was very excited about him—to the point that I even felt a little guilty for my afternoon delight last week. He’s super cute, and SO sweet, but I’m starting to realize that we’re probably not compatible on a deeper level. He’s also very touchy-feely and constantly wants to hold my eczema-laden hand, which I find gross and also annoying—please don’t exacerbate it! We’ve been talking a bunch, which I think will make it even harder to break things off with him when I inevitably do.

So… everyone keeps asking, and the answer is, “no, I highly doubt I’ll ever hear from Anesthesiologist again.” I thought we were all on the same page with that.

Oh, but you know who I DID hear from tonight, after 3 weeks of silence? NAVY GUY. Classic move. As you’ll recall, he was a super asshole and got mad at me for getting mad at him. I ended up being the last to respond, saying, “Ya I was drunk. Over it.” I assumed he hated me as much as I hated him, and would never hear from him again.

But then he pulls this shit:

“Hey – just wanted to say sorry for being flaky when we were hanging out :( hope there are no hard feelings

I moved to bedstuy so hit me up for a drink or coffee sometime :)”

So… no apology for overreacting and being the meanest freak ever? Ok, cool. So I just said:

“No hard feelings but I don’t see us hanging out again”

To which he boringly responded:

“All good :) just wanted to reach out and say that”

I bet he thinks he has repented for his sins, been forgiven for all transgressions, and can now sleep peacefully through the night. WRONG. I still think he’s a douchebag.

I think he only reached out because he now lives in my neighborhood and wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be weird if we ever ran into each other. How I dread that day.

Was he asking to hang out as friends? Because that is even more hilarious than him asking to go on a date again.

P.S. I got a refund on those miserable condoms! But they are definitely not publishing my scathing 1-star review on their site. :(