Monday, May 17, 2004

Things I Learned While Away

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I am not Osama bin Laden. Ann Coulter is actually an evil twin clone of mine. We take turns playing one another, much like Tony Clifton and I did for years.

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Speaking of coke, I learned that crack cocaine is an odorless, tasteless, highless, and utterly inactive chemical compound that was introduced by the CIA into urban areas during the 1980s as an excuse to arrest young black males. I learned this the hard way after paying $150 for some crack cocaine in Baltimore in 1994. So, go ahead, smoke some crack! Just tell your mom -- "Andy Kaufman says it's okay to smoke crack!"

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