I met a guy on a discord server. At first, I did not find him cool or anything. He lives on the other side of the country. We talked to each other, we discussed deep topics, our life.
Happened once, that he was drunk, and texted me at 4AM, that he thinks he loves me, because now, that he is drunk, he feels like he would do anything for me.
I told him, that I am sure that is not what love means. So I rejected him.
Months have passed. I got a boyfriend, who is my childhood love, my first and so on..
But I realized something: I love the discord guy. He is completely my type, but there are so many reasons why it wouldn't turn out nice. Like distance.
So what I am doing is treating my boyfriend like he would be a king, and I'll never forget how I lied to myself.
How I thought that I can't love someone who I met on the internet.
None of them will know about this..
I will keep my dreams to myself.

I am not sure I love my girlfriend anymore. Or if I even loved here in the first place.
I met her when I was in a rather shitty place mentally. I was still in love with my "fuck buddy", but she did not love me and started a relationship with someone else. That hurt. Like deeply.
So, I got together with this chick and she's really wonderful. Sweet, considerate, funny... But I can't get over my "ex". She's in my head 24/7.
We sporadically still text with each other and she always says that she wants to stay friends, but I don't think that I will ever see her again. And that destroys me.
And I am still with this other girl, who sould be THE ONE for me... but she isn't. And I am annoyed when I am around her, I am angry, I am heartbroken... But I can't tell her all those things. We stopped having sex and I think that is my fault.
I don't know what to do. Should I stay with this girl? I am not sure that I truly love her or if I am just with her because my "ex" does not want me?!

I think I'd like to hurt someone. Not like hurting someone physically, but more emotionally. I want to break someone's heart.
I've been heartbroken so many times already. I've cried so many times for people that I loved, but they did not love me back.
I also want someone to cry because of me because they think I am the ideal one.