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I'm still cringing at this. So I work at a food store, we sell a variety of regular foods as well as health foods, supplements, etc. I've been working there for three years, so I certainly feel "in my zone" at work and I often joke around, sometimes with the customers, but never anything too edgy, just tiny light-hearted jokes that render modest chuckles.

A woman called into the store today and I answered. She asked me whether we carried a certain product, but I could tell the phone was on speaker in a vehicle, and it made it tough to understand her. I heard something like "Do you guys carry mrrrsrrrr?"

"Um, sorry? I didn't quite catch that."

I had to get her to repeat more clearly a couple times before I understood what she was asking for - MOTHER'S WART.

"Oooooh, MOTHER'S WART." I was relieved to know that I understood what she said, but I have no idea what the fuck mother's wart is, and we certainly didn't carry it. So, in my moment of giddiness from having figured out what she was asking for, I decided to make a little joke.

"I'm sorry, we don't specialize in ingredients for witches brew."

Now, in retrospect, I know it was an extremely stupid joke, and I kinda knew it at the time too, but I assumed the person would, you know, react with a "ha-ha" kinda thing even if just to be polite if they didn't find it funny. Clearly I regret making this joke, because this story wouldn't be here if I didn't.

I waited for some sort of validation of the joke. Two seconds. Uh oh. This is now officially an awkward pause. The joke bombed. She didn't like it. Quick, laugh a little bit to reinforce that you're just being playful!

"Hah-"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!? HOW DARE YOU!?"

Out of NOWHERE this extremely loud man's voice comes onto the phone, and he begins to berate me over how awful and unprofessional of me it was to disrespect his family's health needs, meanwhile I was trying to apologize repeatedly, and after about thirty seconds of this he hangs up and I'm just glad its over.

Three minutes pass. The phone rings again. Shit. I know its him. It just can't not be. I had never been less thrilled to be right in my life.

I say "Hello?" and he calmly asks to speak with a manager. I inform him there's no manager present, so he asks to speak with a supervisor. I say, "Sure, just a moment." I'm the acting supervisor, and I swiftly (selfishly, in retrospect) give it to someone else, who goes into the office to listen to the guy. She comes out after a few minutes, tells me this guy is the president of some company, I mean come ON this guy mentioned that he's the president of a company, as if that matters in the slightest, and he's gonna call tomorrow to speak with my bosses about me.

Anyway, yeah, of course I was kinda in the wrong, but I still think that dude was a dick. Life lesson here is don't assume people aren't dicks. I do like to assume the best of people, but sometimes it can lead to trouble. And seriously, I hope I never find out what the hell Mother's Wart is.

I know this was your last sentence, but if I can help prepare you for the possibility of discussing this with your supervisor in the near future, the correct herb is "Mother's Wort" (I know, they're homonyms), and it's commonly used for treatment of a UTI (urinary tract infection) and/or used as a mild smooth muscle relaxer.

Maybe your overly-sensitive caller had a UTI and was embarrassed to be calling and asking for what she assumed would be widely known as "the UTI cure," so she thought you were making a joke about her own little witch's brew she's got down there.

The fact that you've been working there for three years means that the boss/supervisor probably knows your style of humor, and you can easily explain your mistake, and confide in them that you've certainly learned your lesson about when jokes like that are appropriate. I'm sure they like you and you'll be fine. :)