Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Or so the government seems to think. The DOT has recently asked ISPs to ban all blogs at blogspot.com, or so it seems. I couldn't access this site from home, with an Airtel broadband connection, which (Airtel) has the high customer service levels of not even providing information on their web site, though if they did I would keel over and die from the shock. (That would be terrorism)

Now I can imagine the thinking of the Babus that did this.

"Uhm. There are lots of these sites, something blogspot something""Oh. Who writes them?""Everybody yaar, even my neighbour's dog has a blog""You mean har kutte ka blog hai?""Ek minute yaar...terrorist bhi to kutte hote hain...so even terrorists may be using blogs no?""Eggjactly! Ban all this blog wog things ... all these dogs should be taught a lesson"

So it came to pass that blogs would be banned. This of course, might have been a liquor induced stupor, but if we allowed that to rule our country we would have had compulsory nasbandi (check), interfering in other countries when our own was in danger (check) and of course a clamped down emergency for no reason at all. (check)

Oh wait. All those were done by people with the surname "Gandhi". Let's BAN the surname "Gandhi" completely! That will do the trick. So from now on, every person with the surname "Gandhi" will be referred by only the first four letters of the surname. That will teach them. (Maybe they'll be hired as Ass Managers)

Coming back to the blog issues, it's obvious now that blogs are a bad thing and they should all be banned including this one. That also means we should ban the internet because, you know what, that's about how far blogs go. Let us, in the same note, ban email, fax and phones as well. SMS is a criminal offense of course.

Why not go one step further? Make pens, pencils and keyboards illegal. Spray paint will be punishable by death. Sign language is the mark of the devil. Language is banned - we must all speak in a correct dialect of Hindi from now on. All people must wear burqas so that no emotion can be conveyed by the eyes or by body language. Let us, from now on, learn to bend over and grease up while the babus try to get their action from their impotent appendages.