MODERNISING CHINA. TEA AND £ILIC TRADES DECLINE. The tea and silk trades of China aro In a very bad way, according to a report of the Foreign Office issued recently. In lSG'l tea and silk represented 82 per cent, of the t lpire's exports. Now they account for only 45% per cent. The Commissioner of Customs at Canton adds that 'i~ tea industry seems to.be doomed. The London Customs in 1904 registered G000 chests of tea adulterated with fil ings and sand. A consignment sent to Australia Is described as 'dirt.' | The United Kingdom consumed j 16,557,7201b. of China tea in 190-1, as against 240,230,9251 bs. from India and Ceylon, and in 1905 only (i.fiiiO.OOOlbs. Tho silk trade is -.. atisfactory, Inas much as the egrs ;,nd worms are every- \ where diseased, ,nd no efforts aro being made to Improve them. The report states that British commer cial agents are at last moving in Ch'na. which swarms with Japanese agents, traders and pedlars. Tho modernising' of China is proceed'ng rapidly. Th...

CHARIVARI. (FIIOM 'LONDON PUNCH.'). The War Office has just placed an order for .40,000 chairs. It has realised, wo suppose, that our army, in view of its rcduced numbers, must take all attacks sitting down. II. M.S. Dreadnought having proved herself an admirable sea boat, vibra tion and rolling being almost imper ceptible, n lady correspondent wants to know why the South Eastern do not at once secure her for their Cross-Channel customers. During tho recess a room in the House of Commons, which was previously looked' upon as the property of the , House of Lords, lias been tinned into a smoking-room. Is this, wo wonder, 1 the beginning of the. end, nnd will the House , of ..Lords itself ultimately be converted into a restaurant for the use of the members of the other House? | ' 'Are British women's feet growing larger?' asks the 'Daily Mail.' 'Im- j possible,' answers an ungallant Conti- ! liental journal. | The internal decorations of the new Old Bailey are said to be most interest ...

A GALLANT RESCUER. SAVES A WOMAN. A LONDON STATION SCENE. Wonderful pluck and presence of mind were displayed at Bishop's road station, on the Underground railway, on 1st Oc tober ,by Mr Harold Simpson, a wealthy ex-member of the Stock Exchange. His heroism cost him his right arm. He was talking to a Miss M. J. Kaye, whom he was seeing off to friends at Hanwell, when she suddenly fell on the line in front of a Great Western steam train. Miss Kaye stood dazed for a moment before the oncoming engine, her hands pressed over her eyes. Mr Simp son took a flying leap to her rescue. The train was not ten yards away, and Mr Simpson had not time to drag Miss Kaye off the metals. 'It was the pluckiest and promptest net I have ever' soon,' said an eyewit ness. 'Mr Simpson caught the lady by the shoulders and forced bar on her knees. with her head down. He had just time to get her to lie down, when the train was upon them. 'The driver had his brakes hard on, and Mr Simpson nearly avoided tho en...

NURSES MAY NOT DANCE. MR HALDANE'S STATEMENT. Amid hearty laughter ' in Parliament,. Mr Haldane confessed that the experi ence of the matrons and other ladies had prevailed over his natural instinct in the matter of tho rule that Netley nurses may not attend public or private dances rtff rllltv OVCPn f -n'VlA.-, nn f 1,,«1 r»,i o-V. The rule does not apply to the male doc tors in the service. The Nursing Board, he said, 'requires for the Army nursing service gentle women who are devoted first and fore mqst to their work for its own sake and the sake of their patients, and who will, there fore, desire to live quietly and un ostentatiously without looking for much gaiety. Occasional attendance at operas, theatres, concerts, and other places of amusement Is not incompatible with the due performance of their duties, and is allowed at the discretion of the matron. 'But the late hours Involved by attend ance at balls and dances, in the opinion of the board. Incapacitate thom from giving p...

THE SIMPLE LIFE. GERMAN PROFESSOR'S EXPERI MENT. The real simple life has been put in practice by two Germans — Professor Englehardt and Bethmann — who are liv ing in Kabalcon, a small island in the Bismarck Archipelago, at a cost of noth ing a day. Their sole food is cocoanuts, their costume is simply a loin cloth. Professor Englehardt is the pioneer of this exceedingly simple life. Suffering ill-health from childhood, says 'Popular Science Sittings,' he experimented with a fruit diet. Finding that European fruits were not the ideal food, he sought the tropic?. Tlie cocoanut, ho declares, is the most suita.ble food for man, and he also insists that it was his original diet.

'MORAL REFORM.' FEMALE AVENGERS. In Pennsylvania women ' white caps,' as they aro called in Aruerica, or, in other words, women who them selves undertake the regulation, and correction of manners' and morals, havo been rather active lately (said the ' Daily Telegraph's correspon dent on 31st October). Torday it .is reported that four of them, all ' re spectable ( married women.*.' 'did forcibly seize and subject another married woman, of Wast Sandy, near Franklin, who is described as young and handsome, to terrible humilia tion by daubing her face with black ing and pouring treacle over her hair, which they then adornod with besmeared feathers, and filially tying her in a box, in the presence of 200 men, and leaving the box in thj woods. This poor woman, who, says the report, ' had been told to mend lier ways,' remained captive until all had departed, when a chivalrous man came along and released the pri soner, who was then quite prostrate and faint with exhaustion. Tho ' whitccaps'...

Miscellaneous. Of every million people world, 800 are blind. No less than 15,000,000 paper col lars are made every year, one firm producing 15,000 per day. Doctors say that mnch of the head ache from which women suffer is duo to the heavy hats they wear. In Arran, where the maidenhair fern grows plentifully, some of tho inhabitants use it as a substitnre for tea. It is no unusual thing for a vessel plying between Japan and London to carry'1,000,000 fans of all kinds as a single item of its cargo. In France it is illegal to capture frogs at night. Every day 200,000 cigars aro smoked in London. Cornish miners beljeve that it is unlucky to whistle underground. Japan has a written history exten-.' j ding oyer 2,500 years. j More than 18,000,000 men stand ready for battle in Europe. The marriage t of a Japanese bride is not complete until she bathes the feet of the bridegroom. Cashmere shawk are made of the hair of a diminutive goat found in Little Thibet There are 19,000,000 of the old ...

Jane's Ultimatum. A lady in the suburbs was con siderably annoyed to find her neigh bour's fowls continually over-running her garden, and playing havoc with the geraniums. ' Go round to next door, Jane,' she said to her maidservant, ' a,nd point out to Mrs. Jones that her fowls bother us a good doal, and ask if she 11 kindly try to keep them at home. Don't be rude, on any ac count.' The girl returned with a satisfied look on her face. ' I don't fancy we shall 'ave 'cm round again in a 'urry, ma'am,' she smiled. ' I hopo you were polite, Jane,' remarked her mistress. ' Oh, yes, ma'am,' came the reply. 'Missus's respects,'- 1 ses, 'and if your fowls ain't kept at 'ome, you won't be gettin' so many eggs of a mornin', and we shall be eatin' poultry.'

A Big Movement. ' It is to the pioneers of big move ments that the credit and honour be long, not to the followers,' said a lecturer on vegetarianism, in a High land village, and he exhorted his nearers to become pioneers of veget- 1 airianism in that neighbourhood. At the conclusion of his lecture, he was warmly shaken by the hand by an old lady, who thanked him for speaking so kindly of her son Donald ' But I think you have made a mistake,' replied the lecturer. 'I don't know your son, and I'm not aware that I mentioned him to-night.' ' Oh, Yes; yes!' said the old lady; ' Donald is one of those pioneers of big movements.' ' Oh, I see!' replied the lecturer. ' What is your son, madam?' ' What is Donald?' said the proud mother; in a surprised tone. ' ' Why, Donald walks in front of a steam roller with a red flag.

Where The JLunatic Scored. A certain minister made a visit to an asylum. He got -in conversion with ono of the lanatics, and, not to rufflo him, agreed with all he said. The following conversation resulted : ' Don't you think it dreadful,' said the patient, ' that the Prime iuimatur buuuiu iiiive uccu uu mui dorously attacked by that insane can vasser just as he was about to ? entor the polling station on election day?' ' Yes,' replied the clergyman ; ' it was indeed regrettable.' '? And Mr. Balfour, havo thoy found the ciazy Anarcnist who stab bed at him at the Lord Mayor's ban quet the other night?' .'I believe they have,' replied the now somewhat startled minister. ' And thePi'ince of Wales, has he recovered from being thrown from the top of Monnt Blanc by that de mented guide?' ' At last accounts, I believe he progressing favourably towards re covery,' answered the divine, meekly. ' You're a minister, aren't you?' asked the lunatic. ' I am,' answered the minister. ' and know the...

^^^^^BFneralNews. HDBBBBPB^quires, the Australian box ^HH^PP\-9ampiou, sails from.Sydney for -^..-.«rica|by the steamer Sonoma on ?ML the 27tli inst., and will probably H^Vmeet Jefferies at Rhyothe, Nevada, EHPe lii April next. Wr A., clergyman twice refused to' * marry a couple who came before him because on both occasions the bride groom was intoxicated. The clergy man said to the bride : ' I cannot un derstand why you come to church with a man who is to be your hus band in a state like this.' The young woman burst into tears and said : ' I cannot help it, sir. He won't come when he's sober.' The opportunity to ' speak out in mectin' ' was never more eagerly grasped than by a youngster of 5, ? Bays the Chicago 'Record-Herald,' who recently accompanied his mother to a revival meeting at one of the south-side churches. He had reached the ' fidgety ' stage of enforced quiet, whea the minister called upon all the members of his flock who desired to live a better life and enter the pro...

MAINTA!NING_SOIL FERTILITY. I Condensed from a paper read by Pro j fessor E. A. Burnett, Nebraska Experi ment Station, U.S.A., at a meeting of the Nebraska Bankers' Association. I Three causes, it seems to me, are suffi cient to account for the prosperity of the country during the last few years. These are good crops, good prices and good soil. To start with, we have had good crops for four or five years, due largely to favorable seasons, a thing which is more or less local. We have also had good rricep, a thing which is not so local, but is affected by a great many causes. This continuous produc tion is affecting the average fertility (5£ the land to a degree which should make the subject of very great importance to the land owner and the business man. SYSTEM OF ROBBING THE SOIL. The sections of the State which are complaining of decreased production find their fertility and producing power have gone down under the kind of cropping practised, namely, growing grain and selling it th...

GLOUCESTER GAOL-BREAKER'S RECAPTURED. ! ..; TRACKED BY POLICE. I : A Gloucester correspondent tele I graphed to tho 'Dublin Warder' on ; 2nd November:—1 The four convicts who ? escaped from Gloucester oil Thursday ;,wero recaptured to-day, being surrouii dei.d in a farmyard at Lydney by a ??.force of: police, and taken into custody. The convicts when first found, were r niaing from their pursuers under a '(liiantily of hay. They are now securely in -custody, much to the relief of the ; penile living iu the vicinity of the For est of Dean. It transpires that when .'. the arrest was effected ? the ? officer in ?charge threatened to shoot the men if any resistance were offered. Tho throat, however, was an empty one, as lie had no weapons.. - The convicts im mediately capitulated. They were found in the top of a hayrick at Crump - Farm, near Lydnev. ? Thev seemed glnd their fight was over. They pre sented a woebegone appearance, and were terribly hungry.- Lane wore over his prison trous...

SAN FRANCISCO. NEW BUILDINGS. ^ . NO SKYSCRAPERS. Mr Eugene E. Schmitz,*- the. Mayor of San Francisco, who is nov# in ^ London, stated cn 26th OctoberJLto an ' Express' representative the new city which was now being 1 built would be the finest in the J world, and that skyscrapers would bo fl forbidden.. £ l-iowever deplorable the earth quake and fire may have been,' he 1 said, ' it served a good purpose. San Francisco was\ not a fit.. homey' ?' for tlie people who liad to make 'It such. Founded sixty years ago as a ; sort of makeshift residence for a mere handful of people, it grew to be an immense city 011 insufficient founda tions. It fell— I hesitate to say pro videntially — and in its place is rising the finest modern city in tho world. ' So rapid has been the transfor mation that calculations show that for every forty-five minutos that havo elapsed since thai jlreadful 18th April, a new building has been -? erected . t- ^ A ' The towering buildings known as skyscrapers are to ...

THE. WIDE WORLD. THE INFALLIBLE 'KAISER.' AFTER HIS SPEECHES. HOW HE SUFFERS. From Munich, on 30th October, tho ?'Express' correspondent wrote: — Count Ernest Reventlow's new book entitled 'The German Emperor, and the Sycophants,' which will be pub lished hero at etlie end of- this week by Messrs. J. F. Lehmann, is a fitting se quel 10 tnose asionisning reveiauuns »-i German Court life contained in thi2 re cently published Hohenlohc memoirs. Tho Kaiser, seen in the light of these revelations, is no longer an heroic fig ure; on tho contrary, one is impelled to regard him as a pathetic figure, the vic tim of the unscrupulous sycophants who bave gathered around his throne and overwhelmed him with servile llattery \n order to promote their own selfish aims. His Majesty starts with a belief (n tho divine right of kings and the in fallibility of monarchs, and possesses a ?emarkably impiessioiinble mind. These qualities make him peculiarly ?iuseeptible to servile (lattery, which has ^oen, ...

/ , '? ; Y IN A ROYAL NURSERY.' \ An amusing story is told of Princo Knut, 'tlie youngest son of the pre sent King ? of Denmark. A disputo arose-' between the little Prince a.nd his nurse on the question of-!' to batli or riot to bath,' and it .cul minated in a sponge being throwji' in the nurse's face. The Queen was ? im mediately sent ' for, and, of course, decided that little Princo Knut was in the wrong. She sent tho boy ' to fetch the cane with which she intend ed to.makc a show of punishing byn, .. . but quite a time elapsed before lie re turned. Then he appeared without' the punitive weapon. '1 can't find the cane,' he explained ingeniously, ,\ju. ? ' but I've brought you I \ttT stones . ? to throw nt me.' . The punishment did not (writes ' M.A.P.') take place. ? ? ( -.

OFFICER IN THE RANKS. IRISH RECRUIT'S STORY. An extraordinary story was told to the commanding officer of the Royal Irish Regiment at Clonmel on Saturday, 27th October, by a _ recently joined recruit named Carroll. He stated that during the South African war he had enlisted in the Con naught Rangers^' and after serving for two months was promoted to the rank of sergeant. Later, he said, he was given a commission as a lieutenant, but on returning to Ireland when the war '.vas over found that his means were not sufficient to enable him to maintain his . uosition as an officer. | Ho then petitioned the War Office ( authorities to allow him to resume the : rank of sergeant, but this request was refused, and he was ordered to leave for Tndia. He obtained six weeks' leave, during which he went to Clonmel and joined the Royal Irish Regiment as a re cruit. . The military authorities have the matter under consideration. — 'Express.' ;

SURPLICED WOMEN CHOIRS. Sh\.'Ut choir Indies wear surplices?/' Yes. 'ho could be so prejudiced as to think !'.?- considered the gay head-, bo dresses of t'le overage fair choristc'Q0,v'.V with their quivering learners ana *. hing flowers of all sizes nnd c' '' '4 quite appropriate, or even decoroiKO' worn by those whose duties place in the most prominent position in tl church? — Lucie Johnstone in 'Good^^H Words.' . ?

ENGLISH HONESTY. AMERICAN GIRL'S PRAISE, In the town of Villisca, Iowa I (U.S.A.), lives an American girl whoso high opinion of the honesty oi Londoners nothing will ever shako. Iler name is Miss Lethe, M. Jones, and .she was one of a bevy of Ameri can beauties, or ' peaches,' who re- , cently visited London. While seeing the sights one day, Miss Jones lost her purse containing lialf-a-soyereign in gold, one shilling nnd sixpence in silver, three half pence in bronze, and some American and Continental postage stamps, and as sho misused it first on a crowded omnibus she never expected to see it again. But tho purse was i'Mind by a gentleman living at Reydon Hall, Wanstcad, and he, reading the ad dress of a West End hotel on it, wrote making inquiries. I By this time Miss Jones had left! on her return journey, but ; n e, purso was forwarded through the American Express Agency, and a charming letter of thanks from tho delighted . ' peach' has just boon received by ' tho finder. ' My im...