The Event

Now, that I have stated that I experienced a tragedy, I will explain what that means to me. I had been dating William for over three years. We had lived with each other for almost the same amount of time. We had an amazing apartment, three wonderful little cats and a seemingly challenging yet rewarding relationship. At some point I will get into the happenings of our relationship more in-depth but right now I want to focus on “the event” as I like to call it.

William’s friend was getting married in Philadelphia (where William is from) and there had been much discussion and controversy over him going to the wedding. Primarily because we did not have the financial means at the time for either one of us to go let alone both. His friend had offered to pay for his ticket, which was around $400 and I had expressed that I thought it was a bad idea to be taking money from someone who was in the process of getting married and was probably stretched too thin as it was. William had agreed with me but was obviously toiling over the idea of missing this occasion. So he turned to his parents who were always trying to get him to go back home for any and every occasion. They did not like him living in another state and this was very apparent over the course of the relationship. Per usual, his mother offered him the money as she had done many times if it involved him coming home. I appreciated the gesture but the fact that we were 30-year-old adults, I felt that it was time for us to stand on our own two feet and make decisions that were beneficial for our relationship. Without telling me anything, he accepted the money and bought the tickets. I did not find out about this until his sister messaged us on Facebook a month later. I was very displeased that he had gone behind my back and done this and did not even have the wherewithal to tell me himself. This lead to an argument but as the ticket was purchased there was nothing I could do so on we went…….

Two weeks before he was to leave, William became quite ill. He had an intermittent fever that lasted for three days. I, of course, took care of him diligently staying up all night for some days making sure his fever was coming down, making him tea , massaging his body and giving him medicine. He was finally better after about 5 days and a dr.’s visit. Well anyone knows in a couple that lives together if one of you gets sick, its only a matter of time. The following week, I became quite ill. I could not swallow, I had an enlarged tonsil, just felt terrible. I went to the dr. and sure enough I had an absessed tonsil and some sort of ulcer in the back of my throat, it was nasty! I asked William to stay and take care of me because I truly felt awful. The Thursday before he was to leave he told me that he would stay and that it was only fair given that I had taken care of him and that he would just call and apologize for missing the wedding but his partner needed him and he was going to be there. Friday morning before he went to work he tells me, “You will be fine, I will see you on Sunday night.” Obviously I was angry, he had just told me that he was staying and now all of a sudden I am going to see you on Sunday? Then he grabbed his backpack and off he went. I called him and called him, no answer. This was a common avoidance tactic he employed. So I called his school and finally got him. We had a long, challenging conversation and it ended with him expressing that he was afraid to make anyone angry and that is why he had undulated BUT that he was going to stay and I would see him in a couple of hours I had his WORD. Hours passed and I tried to call him, all I got was a text stating that he was boarding a plane, he was sorry and he was turning his phone off. His phone remained off all weekend despite messages from me that one of our cats was having an emergency. At this point, I lost it and I mean lost it. I was having panic attacks, I could not sleep or eat, I mean I was not in a good space but did he care even in the slightest? No. Sunday night rolled around and he still did not come home and I did not even hear from him. Now, I started to really panic. Was he ok? Did the plane land on time? I called the airlines and it had indeed landed on time. So where was he? I tried to get some sleep, thinking he had to show up at some point, I mean he had to go to work Monday morning, I was wrong about that too…… I went to get some food finally and when I was driving in to our apartments I passed him in the car, with his DAD, who must have flown down with him. I was shocked and had no idea what was about to transpire. Until I asked to speak with him and that is when all the real ugliness began…………