Depression

I suffer from depression and am back on the pills as of almost two weeks ago. Last year I was on the pills and I felt great and went off them in April as I started to gain weight. Now I am back on them as I have been feeling quite depressed again - anyone want to talk and share the frustration of this lack of serotonin problem.... Need friends that understand....

Not all anti depressants cause you to gain weight. Can you ask your doctor for a different one? The only way to keep your seratonin level balanced is with medications. I have gone off of them before thinking I was better and that I didn't need them only to find I did.

I hope that you can find what will work good for you. I have to exercise more.

Thanks for responding actually at first I lose weight, but then overtime as it builds in the blood stream I find that I start to crave sweets and then I gain..... I go to the gym religiously - but have not been in two weeks because of depression.... The meds I went back on seem to work for my anxiety..... I would love to scream and cry - I just don't know where to begin

I can relate. The weight gain really gets to me as well; I was off my bipolar meds for a whole year, but my depressive episodes left me with no choice but to get back on the meds.

I am going to do my best to eat as healthy as possible, and I am going to exercise. New Year's resolution; and I started yesterday. I did chose a mood stabilizer that doesn't really cause weight gain, or so I have read. I would definitely explore some more options, it would be great if there is an anitdepressant out there that at least has less chance of causing the weight gain. I know there are definitely ones out there that are much worse than others. Not sure if you want to share, but which medication are you on? Anytime I want to know about side effects, I post about the med that I'm on and ask how it's affected people. Then everyone posts about their experiences and it really shows me which side effects occur the most.

It's hard because it's such a vicious cycle: Being too depressed, so you go on meds, then you gain weight and that depresses you; or like you said, when we're depressed it's so hard to exercise etc...

Mogs I used to take a mood stabilizer, but it was turning me into a zombie and my doctor recommended I go off it and stay on the zoloft. I went off the zoloft and was drug free for one whole year and lost tons of weight and went to the gym everyday - but my behavior indicated

that I was suffering from depression as I was not leading a balanced life and it seemed like I was becoming anorexic and was obsessed with the gym. My doctor put me on celexa and also gave me a prescription for clonanzepam which works as the anti depressant builds in the blood stream. I gained weight and did not work full time for awhile and my gym work outs became more moderate. Then I decided to go off my celexa so I could enjoy a sunny vacation as I find the sun and anti depressants make me sick. I was not off them long and when returned I was depressed again, but I wanted to try something else. I read that effexor works really well for anxiety and social anxiety and also depression and seasonal depression which I have so she gave me a prescription and I used the clonanzepam for awhile, but then after a few months I noticied it working and the anxiety was gone and I was bounding out of bed in the morning and feeling ambitious at work and still going to the gym. For awhile it curtailed my appetite and I was eating sensibly and I actually lost some weight - but as time went on I noticed that I was gaining - however I was feeling well. I just could not stand that I had ganed almost 20 lbs so in March I went off them and sailed by for several months - however I have been slipping into depression as those chemicals are just not there for me naturally and so I went back to the doctor and we decided to try what worked and I have been taking it for two weeks - 75 mg, plus the clonanzepam as needed. I think it is working, but I still need the clonanzepam especially for work as I am in a call center and people call to complain alot and I have been feeling upset about this... I have been relying on my doctor as I have not had the best luck with psychiatrists and they have not really been any more successful than the MD. I am feeling alot of anxiety so hopefully you will not have anything bad to say about the effexor as I have been worrying incessantly about it not working - this is part of my problem - I worry all the time..... I just want it to work so I can go back to work and not feel bad anymore.....

We have a lot in common. I was on Effexor for about 2 years I think. It definitely helped with the anxiety and the depression. But I'm not sure about the weight gain. It's kind of hard for me to tell though, cause my weight gain started with Zyprexa-40 lbs-I'm still about 30 pounds over weight, which isn't tooo bad, but it could be better...Anyway...I would say if you gain weight with it, you may want to try something else. Like I said, Wellbutrin is better. I also did very well with Wellbutrin; it helped the anxiety and depression as well.

I also worked in 4 call centers over 5 years. The stress in that environment was enough to almost put me over the edge. I had to make the decision to leave them and never go back. Call centers pay very well (at least where I am they do) but it's for a reason: the stress. It wasn't just the customers that stressed me out, a lot of it was the expectations, meeting numbers, the pressure of that...managers-It was very damaging to my mental health.

Anyway, my advice to you to try and stay feeling well and motivated so that you can work out, eat right to manage the weight...Try and cope your way through the depression. Forgive me if you already do these things...But what I mean is, when we are depressed it's very hard to have energy, to "do" anything. Sometimes though, I find if I just take things hour by hour, make small goals (have a shower, if things are bothering me vent to HW or to a friend...write in my journal, watch a movie, go for a walk)...I find the depression takes my focus away from the things that could me making me feel better. The only thing I can focus on when I'm depressed is how depressed I am, and how I can't do anything. It's very hard to get my mind around that, but when I do, sometimes I can feel better-even if it's only for a few hours. To me that is victory! I don't work out, I wish I did...maybe I will someday, but do you feel better after you work out? Maybe that can be your motivation to work out when you're feeling down-that it will lift your depression (again even if only for a little while).

What you said about mood stabilizers is so true. Most of them are awful-zombie effect. That was the main reason I went off them. They are just horrible meds. The one I'm on now is actually the only one that I could tolerate. I don't feel tired from it at all.

I came home and was so pleased to read your email. I have needed this for awhile, but sometimes I read notes on this forum that upset me and I did not want to feel worse. I read your note with interest and I hope that you are feeling well too. I wish you a Happy Holidays by the way. I am feeling better today and I actually spent a full day at work and was really busy. It is a stressful enviroment and as you said although the pay is good with the perks - you pay in other ways and I have found that out recently. I have been taking a high volume of calls since May and finally this December was my breaking point - I am perfectionist so I spend alot of time and care with my customers and take things to heart - at the end of the day I am exhausted. I have been trying to keep up with the gym, but have not been as diligent. I felt myself sinking into depression for awhile, but then it got really bad and I had to admit the problem. I was really worried as I have a history - most depressed people do and so I chose to go back on pills. The effexor works really well - usually about 4 weeks and the anxiety is gone - I did not gain weight for awhile and actually lost some last time. Apparently it is not supposed to make you gain, but I will take your advice if I notice it and investigate Wellbutrin (bupriron). It is such a catch 22 because you do not want to feel awful, but weight gain can make some people have a complex. I am glad to hear I am not the only one with weight gain issues. I am thinking of trying weight watchers as it is the cheapeast way and also I am going to use my gym pass more in the new year.

How did you like Zyprexa? It is for mood stabilizing and depression. I must admit that I like the Effexor and I did not like the Celexa as it did not help my anxiety - however I stayed thin - what does that say??? When I feel anxious - I have physical symptoms as well as mental and it is too awful and all I want is relief - I take a mild sedative and have been taking since I was nineteen years old - it is called clonanzepam. It works really well for me - usually just one. I have this horrible attacks and it really scares me. Then I just suffer from depression and as you mentioned I have a lack of motivation and negative feelings - sometimes I cry about everything or even laugh alot. I feel very irritated some days and dislike people.

Anyway I do not mean to go on, but it does feel good to vent and all are welcome too.... Are you still working full time? I am back full time, but I took a short unpaid break for a few weeks. I like the money, but I know what you mean about the stress.

Wherever you are and whatever you do - it is nice to have someone who knows how it is and thanks for your wishes. I wish the best for you and hope you are well.

I am feeling a bit depressed today; I am dreading some upcoming social gatherings and outings. My anxiety really kicks in when I have to be around people. So, it is triggering some depression for sure.

I actually am in college for Medical Office Assistant. As I mentioned, I had to stop working in the call centers, so I decided to start a whole new career path. I am really loving it. I am fascinated with health matters, so this really suits me. I would absolutely love nothing more than to work for a psychiatrist or counsellor when I am finished. I am off school for the holidays-return January 2nd, so I am trying to enjoy this break. Today, I have a quiet house to myself and I am loving that.

So back to this whole meds stuff: I hated Zyprexa b/c it honestly made me gain at least 40 lbs. I remember a thread in the bipolar forum some months back, and people posted that they too all gained anywhere from 20 to 60 pounds from it. One thing I know for sure Zyprexa is huge for weight gain.I did feel better with it, but it wasn't worth it. It's not terrible to want to balance your weight gain with your depression & the meds. I feel the same way. As long as I do make sure I am looking after my mental health first. Then I can try to limit the weight gain with what I know from certain meds and with my pdoc's advice. I also see you've inquired about Topamax. There's another med that gave me the whole zombie effect...so that's what I didn't like about that. In some cases it does involve weight loss; weight gain as far as I know is not a side effect of that med. However, it is used as a mood stabilizer...You definitely need to consider which meds are the best for your depression. I have heard of a lot of people taking mood stabilizers with major/clinical depression recently. It's so interesting b/c depression and some forms of bipolar are so closely related. I started out with being dx'd as having depression; but then it changed to BP II.

I also take clonazepam for when I have panic attacks. It works pretty well.

Thank you for your well wishes for the holidays; right back 'atchya. I hope you can find some sort of balance with all that is stressful to you in your life and with your depression. It's all so hard, I know. I really believe though that when we're struggling it helps to try and put our focus on something else. I am here anytime for you and for all our HW members. It's great to have this break from school so I can keep posted on HW.

Have a great day; do something nice for yourself as a reward for working so hard at your healing.

Hi Joc,I was on Paxil for several years and it definitely caused me to gain weight and also made me more aggressive. I lost the weight after going off it, and like you and mogli I still take Clonazepam as needed for panic attacks. I'm going to see a psychiatrist again in January because I've been feeling worse lately - but I don't want to go back on medication because I didn't like the weight gain and other side effects that went along with it. I didn't like trying and re-trying medications, waiting to see what would work. It definitely can be a struggle, and it's hard to know the right thing to do. Medications are complicated and since I'm in University I don't want to take something that's going to affect my memory or make me feel like a zombie. (Or make me gain weight) Not that I think medication is a bad thing - not at all - it really helped me, but at this point in my life I'm not sure if it's the right thing for me. Mogs is right that it's hard to find balance. Panic attacks are scary. (I get physical symptoms too.) And when you put that together with depression it takes a lot out of you. I guess we all have to keep talking and sharing information and looking for ways to cope and feel better.

I know how you feel about anxiety - I suffer from social anxiety and often cancel out on people which makes them mad and never want to see me again - lost alot of friends that way. The drugs - especially the effexor helped me to become more social. I am sorry to hear that you are anxious, but that is how I was feeling before Xmas as it drew nearer I was filled with dread. I have another occasion on New Years Eve, but I think it will be ok - got the clonanzepam. Do you want to talk more about the outings and the occasions? At your pace.... OK?

I am feeling well today as I was able to stand work yesterday and I was so worried about it, but I managed to get through the day and we were busy. Your new career path sounds great and it does put you in touch with the healing enviroment and also health issues. I worked for an opthamologist for awhile - just part time. I have good typing skills and have thought of that career too - I just do not have the money as I am still paying off the loan from university many moons ago. We will see what happens - I am going to try the call center with the effexor as I was not on it and it may be easier to cope. At the moment I need the $$$ and the perks are real good - they awarded me some unpaid time off and recognized that they have been somewhat responsible for this breakdown as I have been handling a high volume of calls since I finished training in May and it is STRESSFUL - even for sound folks.

I went to the gym and feel picked up abit and I am going to try and go on Friday and the weekend too.

Thanks for your advice on Topamax as it was suggested to me at one time. Zyprexa has also been suggested to me. At the moment I am going to give the Effexor another chance as it seemed to work the last time and I was not taking the clonanzepam at all after 8 weeks - I was able to sleep and not have the anxiety attacks. I guess it was just the weight gain that was bothering me - no matter how hard I worked out I was still gaining and it made me angry - especially when I had been so thin and lost so much weight. In the end I do have to consider the importance of my mental well being and abandon my hang ups about weight - especially since it has been proven that I need these drugs and function better on them. I just find that people bother me about my weight and also I see girls that are flaunting their figures and wearing tight clothes and they are so thin (like I used to be) and it makes me feel bad. When I try dating I see alot of men asking for girls to be thin and declining second meetings as I am visibly heavier than I should be. ALso the media really makes me sick - they make heros out of anorexic's like Angelina and Keira - I was their size and my family was ready to put me in the hospital because they thought I looked awful - but mags and TV tout it as beautiful and normal and they call women like Kate Winslet fat - it really bothers me. I do not watch TV and I know someone that rips off movies from the internet and I don't care as that industry deserves to lose money - they are all wrong!!!! I am sick of Angelina Jolie - she is so sickly looking - I wish they would stop giving her and several others so much publicity - Anyway enough of my rant.....

I am reading The Secret - it seems silly, but I am going to give it a chance.

Tonight a friend and his fiance are taking me out for dessert - know what you mean about anxiety.

Write anytime..... U take care ok - oh another thing - I am glad I did not go t our company Xmas party as apparently they had pole dancers - that would not have encouraged my self esteem

I understand what you are going through. I graduated from uni with a BA in 94 so I am older and for a long time I resisted the drugs as I wanted to be thin and hated the idea of being fat. I just took the clonanzepam and it helped me with the anxiety. My psychiatrist at the time understood my issue with fatness and did not push me - however in the end as I have aged and life has become more complicated I have been more responsive to the meds approach. Sometimes I think if I did not have to work I might not need the drugs because I could investigate the alternatives - but I need the $$$ and still pay off university loans so at the moment I have to work. I have heard that some women improve with menopause so perhaps I will blossom in my late forties and be drug free - I really aspire to be I really do... I wish u luck with u studies and also u visit with the psychiatrist. U can write anytime to talk if needed....

They say Wellbutrin does not make u gain weight. Also I was on celexa and I did not gain weight and for awhile on the effexor I did not gain - I am back on the effexor. That is just for your information...

JOC - Effxor worked for you? I have a friend who started Effexor XR in July for depression and it seems like all it has done is made him angry. He doesn't seem any happier or relaxed - he says he feels worse. I've noticed a definite change in him since he started it, but it hasn't been good. He seems constantly agitated and mad. Do you know whether has been known to effect males differently than females?I also sometimes cancel out on people at the last minute because I get nervous or down and can't face going. But I found that if I told the person, or people, that I was supposed to be seeing about my anxiety ahead of time that most of them were pretty understanding. That way if I cancelled no one would think anything of it. For a long time I had to almost force myself to keep plans. I would take it one step at a time, and make sure that I'd be able to leave if I felt like I needed to. And it did start to get easier. I started to find that once I was out I would have a good time, and it became like positive reinforcement. But it can be such a struggle. It still is sometimes. I hope you are able to go out with your friend and his fiancée tonight. I have plans as well and I'm trying to get myself motivated to get ready. (I don't feel like going anywhere. I feel like staying home and reading, and possibly crying, but I know that if I isolate myself I'll feel worse) Good luck to us both!

Really - Actually when I was last on the Effexor I did feel irritable sometimes, but then people were making me angry and doing things - it was at work and sometimes people try my patience. However I noticed a lifting of spirits and also almost no anxiety. It seemed to work for me after 8 weeks. If he has been on it since July then it should be working - if it is not maybe he needs more or less - I take 75mg - but some people take 120mg and I have heard that meds need to be adjusted. I have no idea about the male and female thing , however it seems if you read the forum that everyone has a different body chemistry and some things work for some that do not work for others. I know people that do not gain weight on any of these pills and then others (like me) that gain - who can explain it? Your friend needs to see the doctor or specialist and re-evaluate the treatment - Effexor is not cheap so if it is making someone worse then why bother? He may need another drug treatment altogether for his problems - I really cannot say - but if something is not working I would try something else. When I went off the Effexor in March - I felt sick for a week, but then I was fine - there is a withdrawal period. I hope he finds something else.

I will make it out tonight as it is just across the street and not too threatening. Sometimes the travel time gets me down. I do not have a car, but I do drive and I find commuting tiring at times. Sometimes I just want to protect myself from things too eh? I hope you will make it out too.....

I hope that you had a wonderful day. Don't worry if you can't make it to the gym today. Like you said, you can go Saturday and Sunday. It is great that you are feeling good about work. I am so happy for you. I wish I could work too. But I have fibromyalgia too and haven't been able to work for years. I know that being able to hold a job would be good for my self esteem. Sometimes I think about part time, it is just that I never know if I will wake up feeling good from one day to the next.

Fibomyalgia is very painful ---- Most people cannot work - some people have advised me that I cannot either - the trouble is that I cannot afford not to - I applied for disability, but was assessed as someone that can handle work with the right treatment (drugs).... I do not necessarily agree with this, but such is life... I would love more time to take care of myself, lose weight and go to the gym etc... Maybe someday

You must do what your Doctor recommends so if it is recommended that you cannot work then you cannot. Do u have hobbies? Now that helps self esteem as work does not always.

Well thanks for the encouraging words and I hope you have a great night.

I went through the whole disability thing but still got denied at the end because I was seeing a physicians assistant instead of a real doctor at the time. I didn't realize that there was that much of a difference or that they would deny me. I have an md now so I will start all over again.

I like to paint with acrylics, wood burn, make jewelry and work with rocks. I have a rock saw and I slice and shape stones and try to make jewelry out of them. I have done some crosses and teardrop shapes. Where I am in Michigan we have Petoskey stones. They aren't real hard so they are easy to work with. It is actually coral from aabout 350 million years ago. They make cool jewelry and are pretty when they are polished.

I hope that you have a good nights rest so that you aren't tired tomorrow.