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"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. " -Helen Keller

Monday, February 27, 2012

One of the things I love best about blogging is getting to share my passions with you. Reading has been and always will be a true passion and there is one particular book that I am truly passionate about. That book is The Story ofBeautiful Girl by Rachel Simon. I've talked about this book here on my blog (go read it if you haven't already), I've run my mouth about it on Goodreads and Amazon, and I've told everybody who will listen how amazing this book is. Now, I want to share The Story of Beautiful Girl with one of you. When my mom and I went to hear Rachel talk about her book, I bought a copy of the book to give away and had her sign it but, I have to confess that I would have bought a copy for each and every one of you if money wasn't an issue. I can't wait to give this book away to one of you so click on the more link below and enter using the Rafflecopter form.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

On the road trip I took with my mom last Thursday, I got the chance to use Maude for the first time. *Maude is my parents' Garmin GPS. Maude is also Delusional, a lying bitch, or has a drug habit...possibly all three.

On Thursday, after attending Rachel Simon's meet the author/book signing, my mom and I headed back to our hotel room. I had brought along my laptop because I needed to work on the slide show honoring the Webelo 2's who were bridging up to boy scouts. There was one problem though...I brought the laptop but forgot the charging cord and the battery life on this antiquated laptop isn't worth shit. So, I decided to head out to the local Wal-Mart and get a replacement charging cord.

I hopped in the car, figured out how to get Maude to search for the closest Wal-Mart, and headed out. Maude's directions to Wal-Mart were fairly simple. I only had to make three turns, one which was into the Wal-Mart parking lot. I made the turn onto the last road and Maude said "3.4 miles until Wal-Mart on left." I was being a good driver and not looking down so I was just listening to Maude. I assumed Maude knew what she was talking about. Next I heard, "Turn left into Wal-Mart in .3 miles...turn left in .2 miles."

I'm looking left and I don't see any Wal-Mart.

"Arriving on Wal-Mart on left."

I still don't see any Wal-Mart. Wal-Marts are pretty damned big. Wal-Marts are pretty fucking hard to miss. I think that maybe Maude has messed up with the distance so I decided to go a bit farther. I crossed over the bridge and still no Wal-Mart on the left so I turned around.

"Recalculating..."

I turned back onto the road Wal-Mart was suppose to be on. Maude still insisted Wal-Mart was on the left...even though I was on the same road...going the opposite direction...Wal-Mart was still on the left. I call bullshit.

As I was approaching an intersection, Maude said "Turn left in .3miles." I happened to glance left as I passed through the intersection...well, fuck me, there's Wal-Mart. I needed to turn there not in .3 miles. I went forward to the next intersection, turned around AGAIN and, as I turn around, Maude says, "Turn left into Wal-Mart in .3 miles." What the fuck...this must be a magical Wal-Mart...bouncing from one side of the road to the next. Then, as I'm turning RIGHT into Wal-Mart and Maude's map shows me turning right, Maude says, "Arriving at Wal-Mart on left." Holy hell, Maude must be delusional, a lying bitch, or she's been smoking crack.

The next day, we had multiple times that Maude insisted we were turning left while we were turning right and Maude's map showed us we were turning right. Then, on the way to the temple of Ikea, Maude tries to take us through a dead end which butts up against a large ditch because Maude keeps insisting the road continues through there. After we turned around, Maude kept insisting we needed to reverse course and head back to the dead end and Maude didn't believe the road we took to Ikea was really there and she showed us traveling through a great white expanse.

When we left Ikea, once we got onto roads that existed in the world of Maude, she did give us good directions to downtown Charlotte where we met my sister and dropped of my nieces. We left our meeting with my sister, entered my house as our final destination, and Maude gave us good directions back out to the highway. We made one of our last turns before reaching the highway, drove into a sort of valley, and Maude announced, "Recalculating." Since the exact same directions popped back up, we figured Maude had temporarily lost her signal.

We got back on the highway without further drama. We were nearing the exit Maude had us take to Ikea earlier and Maude started telling us to get off the highway. Damn, when Maude was recalculating, she skipped backward to a much earlier set of directions. I reentered my home as our final destination. Maude still told us to take the next exit. That's when the giggles hit both my mom and I. I asked my mom if she thought we should trust Maude...but, the obvious answer was no. We ignored Maude and kept driving. Then we saw the traffic ahead...traffic backing up before we hit the construction zone. Then there was the sign...the DOT sign that was lit up to warn us about the accident ahead...shit, one lane lost to construction, one lane lost to an accident.

Our forward speed dropped to almost zero. Seriously, we were going maybe 1 mph and that turned out to be a good thing because Maude chose that moment to act up again. Once again, despite having acknowledged my home as the final destination, Maude told us to get off the highway at the next exit. The giggles hit again. Maude said, "Exiting highway on exit 42." The giggles got worse. We were barely creeping forward on the main highway and Maude thought we were getting on the exit ramp. We keep creeping forward...Maude keeps showing us going up the ramp...we keep laughing harder and harder. This is why it was good we were going so slowly because we were laughing so hard tears were streaming down out cheeks. That wouldn't have been good at 75 mph.

Then, Maude's circuits must have really fried when the distance between our actual location and where she thought we were got too big because, suddenly, she transported us through thin air back to where we really were. All this did was make us laugh harder. Once we finally calmed down, I told my mom that I thought we should put Maude to bed early and we finally drove home in peace.

I think this is why I laughed so hard in Sunday School today when someone called God and Jesus our moral GPSs.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I'm so excited. Tomorrow, my mom and I are climbing into her car and driving about 3 hours to go to a book signing/meet the author event. I'll finally get to meet (in person) my dear friend and incredibly talented author, Rachel Simon.

Early in the summer of 2010, Cecily put out the word that a friend of her's was looking for people to review one of her books. I am so glad I told Cecily I wanted in because that's how I hooked up with Rachel. Back then, I got to read Rachel's incredible book, The House on Teacher's Lane. I felt like I got such a clear picture of who Rachel was and I truly could see the beauty of her spirit. I guess she must have liked what I said about the book because we've been in touch ever since and I even got to read and review her current and most amazing book, The Story of Beautiful Girl. I owe Cecily a big one because without her, I never would have found Rachel's friendship.

In addition to getting to finally meet a friend, I get to go on a road trip with my mommy. It will be so cool to get to spend time with my mom without the kids in tow. God, it's been ages since we've had more than an hour or two together. After losing my brother-in-law so suddenly in January, it has become so important to me to grab every chance I have to spend time with my loved ones. It's going to be so much fun.

When's the last time you went on a road trip? Where did you go and who did you take the trip with? Tell me all about it.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I feel like I should be getting on my high horse and expressing my righteous indignation over the bullshit that's been spewed about women's health, prenatal testing, and access to birth control. I feel like I should rage over the sheer assholery exhibited by the man who tried to scam a woman into turning over the child they conceived for adoption by he and his wife. Luckily, I don't have to rage because Cecily ofUppercase Woman and Stirrup Queen's Mel did it so well. When you're done here, go read the three posts if you want to feel righteously indignant.

Instead, I feel like answering some pointless questions and inviting you to answer them too. I found these questions at HumorThatWorks.com...

Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best? When I first found out we were going to move here (to Cary) I was pissed at the world. I didn't want to move. However, it turns out to have been the best thing for our family. Truly, I wouldn't change it if I could.

What was one of the best parties you’ve ever been to? My answer to that question right now is so different than what my answer would have been 15 years ago. I went to some awesome parties when I was a member of the local Rescue Squad. I could tell you tales of fake chalk body outlines and people chasing cows on tractors and other bizarre occurrences. Now, I can truthfully say that one of the best parties I've been to was my son's military ball last Friday. I had a blast and it was so much fun watching the kids have a great time.

What was the last movie, TV show or book that made you cry or tear up? I bawled at the end of The Story of Beautiful Girl. It was a good cry.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? The two hardest things I've ever had to do were telling my kids when their grandpa died and, just last month, telling them their Uncle Jose had died.

What was the last experience that made you a stronger person? Surviving infertility.

What did you do growing up that got you into trouble? Cursed beneath my breath when I was ticked off at my parents.

When was the last time you had an amazing meal? I had an absolutely amazing meal last summer when I was in San Diego for BlogHer. It was memorable for both the food we had at Fisherman's Wharf and for the amazing company I dined with.

What do you miss most about being a kid? Being able to sleep in to ridiculous hours on the weekends.

What is your first memory of being really excited? I can remember the unbearable excitement of one of my early Christmases...lying awake for what seemed like hours.

What was the first thing you bought with your own money? A 1991 light blue Ford Escort. She was a good car and lasted for almost 300,000 miles.

Monday, February 20, 2012

15 years ago today, my life irrevocably changed. 15 years ago today, my oldest son, Victor Martin Cruz (Marty), was born. 15 years ago today, I became a mom for the first time. Life would never be quiet again.

I am in awe of the wonderful young man he is becoming and I've got to applaud his fortitude. This year is his first year of high school and he has dealt with a lot. He had a bad reaction to allergy medicine that left him going from class to class in a wheelchair for the better part of the first semester. Despite all the days he missed while dealing with that, he kept it together, worked his ass off, and kicked butt in his classes. I am so proud of him and the work ethic he demonstrated.

Right now, I'm not sure what blows my mind more...the fact that the handsome young man in the picture above is the same person as that little baby I brought home 15 years ago or that, in only 3 years, he will be nearing high school graduation and going off to college. Wow...that totally blows my mind.

Happy Birthday my wonderful son. I am blessed to be your mom and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

The cookie cartel aka the Girl Scouts have my house under their thrall. We got our cookies the other night and my children (yeah, just my children, I'll stick with that story) have been inhaling them.

Last night, Vic and I helped chaperone Marty's first military ball. It was held at the Matthews House (be warned, embedded music on the site but it gives you a gorgeous view of the house) in Cary, NC.

I think that the military ball is the only place you will ever see a bunch of teens loudly cheer a clumsily executed (by their peers) waltz. What a truly fabulous group of kids.

I think the force was at work last night or maybe it was just the repellant power of the adults in attendance. All the kids gravitated towards the dark side of the dance floor which just happened to be away from the chaperones' tables.

Like father, like son...both of them over did it yesterday and have been paying the price with sore legs. Marty decided to try and outrun everybody during ROTC physical fitness yesterday despite the fact that he had only been off his cane since Sunday night and then he danced through the whole military ball. Vic decided to overdo the dancing, ignored his bad knee, and now he's paying for it.

We all had a blast. It was so nice dressing up and going out with my husband and Marty looked so grown up in his uniform.

Gabe fell asleep against Vic tonight and then Vic promptly fell asleep too. Doesn't matter how old they are, something about a child sleeping on you is the world's best sleeping pill.

Today was a down day...a quiet day for the whole family. It was nice.

Tomorrow, we are going out to eat for a family dinner. My parents and my sister are joining us at a restaurant so we can celebrate Marty's birthday.

Speaking of Marty's birthday, he will be 15 on Monday. How in the hell did that happen? My baby is almost 15.

On a less happy note, Joey's migraines seem to have gotten worse with puberty. We are definitely going to have to make a doctor's appointment for him about this.

Today, in the midst of getting stuff ready for Marty's Military Ball, I got distracted by the mountain in my bedroom. See, I had gotten lazy. Instead of putting my clothes away in the dresser, I was simply putting the stacks of folded clothes in nice neat piles on my glider rocker. I'd kick my sons' collective asses if they did something similar but, somehow, it was perfectly acceptable for me to pile my clothes into a mountain. I refuse to tell you just how long I'd been piling shit up but it was way too damned long.

Well, the mountain reached out and slapped me. It said, "Bitch, time to scale the mountain." And, scale destroy it, I did. I folded and sorted and put into new pile and, finally, I put it all away. In the process of mountain destruction, I discovered I have way too many damned t-shirts. I pulled out a ton of t-shirts to turn into t-shirt yarn. I also pulled out a bunch to use to make a memory quilt and a bunch to be donated to charity. That still left me with a copious number of t-shirts to call my own. And, holy shit was there ever a lot left in the keep me pile of t-shirts

It feels so good to finally have all those clothes folded or an hangars and put away completely. It also make me want to kick my own ass for avoiding the project for so long.

Have you tackled anything noteworthy recently? What made you get off your ass and get the project done?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Welcome one, welcome all! Welcome back to What The Fuck Wednesday, the prime location to read about products, items, and events that make your head snap around and your mouth utter the phrase "What the fuck is that?" Yeah, yeah, I know it's Thursday but I saw some things today while I was out shopping that just begged to be shared. Holy Shit, it was a bad taste celebration all around.

Not too long ago, the fabulous Mrs. Woog of WoogsWorld was talking about mullet skirts. You remember them, the skirts that were longer in the back and shorter in the front. The moderate ones, only slightly longer in the back than in the front, weren't too bad. I'll even cop to having had one or two in my closet in the past. But, the mullet dress I saw today was anything but moderate and the color choice...Holy hell, the color choice drove it from a daring fashion choice to something that scared the hell out of me. It was a hot pink, extreme mullet dress and the mullet was lined completely with an animal print.

While my retinas were still burning from this sight, I went into Avenue and stumbled across this horror...

Yes, it really was that shocking of a green color. Truly, that quantity of that shade of green wouldn't look good on a woman with a super model's build let alone on a woman with curves like Adele.

Can anyone tell me what the fuck the designers were thinking? Have you seen anything retina burning or what the fuck inducing? Join the fun and tell us about it.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight...

All I can say is that with these colors the lion ain't sleeping anywhere.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Today, as even the most unobservant of us knows by now, was Valentine's Day...a celebration of romance and love. If you compared my day to a traditionally romantic Valentine's Day, most people would think it fell short...my husband is at work, we didn't exchange gifts, all we did was say Happy Valentine's Day and I love you. But, to me, it was an absolutely perfect day because it was another day married to the love of my life.

With my husband's work schedule and our kids' activity schedules, we don't often get the time to go out together...to just spend time alone...and that lack of time alone means we don't often get to make those grand romantic gestures. But, Vic shows me he loves me in the everyday things he does for me. Vic folds laundry. He does dishes. He cooks and cleans up. He does all these things because he says I do more than enough keeping up with the kids and their schedules.

Vic makes sure I have the more reliable of the two vehicles because he wants to make sure I'm safe. Vic tries to keep the kids occupied so I can sleep in on an occasional Saturday and, the past two years, he's taken part of his hard earned vacation so he can be home with the kids when I go off to BlogHer.

Everyday we are together, Vic shows me he loves me in a million little ways. To me, that is more romantic than a box of chocolates or a dozen roses.

Happy Valentine's Day sweetie. I love you more today than I did when we first said I do back in 1994. Mawage twuly is a bwessed awangement for us.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It's known as a day of love and romance and sex. Yeah, sex. Sex is fabulous, wonderful, and can make you smile when nothing else can. But, did you know that your sex life can be an important indicator of your health too. More specifically, major changes in the ability or desire to have sex can be an indicator of your health. If you and your partner ave previously had a healthy sex life and there is a sudden change in frequency or desire (without an underlying emotional reason), it just might be time to get yourself to a doctor.

Did you know them erectile dysfunction can be a sign of hypertension or even diabetes? Yes, it can. Diabetes can affect circulation in your extremities and, like it or not, the penis is an extremity. If your extremity circulation is down, it's gonna be hard to get it up. Same thing with hypertension...it affects circulation and that affects the ability to perform.

Also, a sudden decrease in desire without an emotional cause can be a sign of thyroid problems. Men with hypothyroidism often experience a decrease in testosterone. A drop in testosterone, especially a large drop, will cause a drop in desire. It doesn't matter how much your man loves you or how hot you are, if the testosterone is low, desire and the ability to perform will be too.

Diabetes can also affect a woman's sexual desire because it can affect the woman's ability to enjoy sex. Whereas the circulation problems that can go hand in hand with diabetes causes erectile dysfunction in men, it can cause vaginal dryness, pain with intercourse, and even the inability to achieve orgasm in women. And, for those of you fighting infertility, specifically repeat pregnancy loss, did you know diabetes increases your risk of miscarriage?

So y'all, as important as they are, don't just pay attention to your relationships. Pay attention to your bodies and your sex life. Not only does it make you feel good but it can also warn you if somethings going wrong.

PSA time is over. I promise my actual Valentine's Day post will be more fun.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

While I was watching the Grammys (you know I had to after Whitney died), there were many questions that came to mind. And, I know some of them can;t be answered but I need answers folks.

Why do accents (except country music singers) tend to disappear when people sing? Adele has the most gorgeous English accent but there isn't a trace of it when she sings. And, going way back, Jim Nabors had the most obnoxious voice in his Gomer Pyle roll but had a truly gorgeous singing voice. How and why does that happen?

Why do scumbags (no matter how talented) like Chris Brown get to stick around and demons torture and take luminescent talents like Whitney Houston?

GO FOO FIGHTERS!

How could the Grammys manage to put together a phenomenal tribute to Whitney Houston in less than 24 hours yet they managed to exclude Etta James and Don Cornelius from the power point tribute?

Adele is phenomenal. I love, love, love that she is not the typical tiny woman. She looks like a real person albeit a gorgeous person. I also love that she looks so stunned to see people cheering for her.

What's with the Chris Brown ass kissing? It is seriously making me sick. HE BEAT SOMEONE. It wasn't that many years ago that beating your partner made you a pariah (think Ike and Tina Turner). What the FUCK?

What was Nicki Minaj thinking? That was the most bizarre performance I've seen in ages.

Sir Paul McCartney still ROCKS. Love that the Grammys ended with (as MissLori said on twitter) with real musicians playing real music

So, did you watch the Grammys? What did you like/dislike? Do you have any answers for me?

Friday, February 10, 2012

I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'
I Said You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
You Got To Be Startin' Somethin'

I'm beginning to think I did my children a disservice when I taught them to be nice kids. Once again, a bully has targeted one of my children. The big difference is that this time the bastard has targeted Joey. About a month or so after school started, Joey started telling me about this kid who was aggravating him in class. It started small. This kid would talk to him over and over and over again, quietly, repetitively, poking at him verbally until Joey responded by either asking him to stop or by answering whatever this kid was saying. And, the kid would keep going until Joey answered loud enough that Joey would get caught by the teacher and chastised for it.

Then, it progressed to full blown physical assault. Most of the time, this kid would do something to Joey in class (like the time he tried to knee Joey in the balls but hit his thigh instead) and the teachers would step in before Joey could defend himself. About 2 weeks ago, this not so little bastard punched Joey in the face. Luckily, Joey used his Tae Kwon Do training and was able to prevent this kid from landing a second blow. Joey came out of it relatively unscathed and the other kid did get in trouble.

This afternoon, I got call from the school principal about forty-five minutes before school was due to let out. The little bastard put his hands on Joey again. He started by splashing water at Joey in the bathroom and ended up pushing him hard backwards causing Joey to hit his head on the wall. After the kid splashed him, Joey was mumbling under his breath...saying things quietly that would have gotten him in trouble if he said them out loud...but, he did that in response to the splashing. The principal gave me the typical spiel about how they were encouraging Joey to avoid this kid and trying to give him the skills to deal with it by going for help. I told her I would never tell my child to be a door mat...that while I have expressly forbid my kids to be the one starting something...that they would have my full support if they retaliated physically. I also told her this was the second time in less than 2 weeks that this kid had attacked Joey and it needed to stop now or I would involve outside authority (read the police). The Principal, Mrs. S, said they really hoped Joey would follow their advice because she didn't want to see Joey get hurt (the kid bullying him is a big 13 yr old still in 5th grade). I'm afraid I wasn't too diplomatic. I laughed and said if this kid didn't stop and pushed Joey to the point of responding that Joey wouldn't be the one getting hurt because Joey has his black belt in Tae Kwon Do. This same kind of general nonsense went on for a while longer. I thanked her for calling to let me know Joey was ok and reiterated my stance on things.

At this point, I fully expect to get a call from the school in the next week or two. I'm expecting this call because Vic and I have told Joey he has our full support and full permission to take the little bastard down if he lays a hand on him again. We also told him that if the kid goes down and stops fighting him, Joey should back off but, if the kid keeps fighting then Joey should continue to use every bit of his skill to defend himself. We will deal with the school afterward and we WILL call the police on this kid if this happens again. I will NOT have another one of my children made miserable. I will NOT let another one of my children be driven to the point that they say "I'd rather die than go back there" when they mention school. The big difference is this time the bullying asshole has gone after Joey and Joey will fight back.

Thursday, February 09, 2012

My friends, something has happened that I never could have anticipated. I truly never thought I'd see this day. but *gasp*swoon*faint* I have seen heaven my friends. Thanks to the wonderful and fabulous Anissa, John Barrowman has a challenger. You remember John Barrowman, right? He's my TV husband, the object of my secret love affair. Johnny boy has these eyes...eyes that always make me melt...

Bu, Anissa's recent eye candy obsession has introduced me to a man, a man that might just leave Johnny boy in the dust. To quote the amazing Anissa, "Oh My Holy Hell, " Sexy Jesus could ask me anything. I mean, look at these eyes...

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

She shook her head. Something was wrong. Something wasn't as it should be. Where was Lily? WHERE WAS SHE? Edith suddenly felt the desperate need to see Lily but...where was she?

She took a deep breath. "I need my sweater. I'll get my sweater and then I'll go find Lily." Edith got halfway back to her room on her mission to fetch her sweater when she suddenly remembered the sweater wasn't back there after all. She reversed course, headed for the front of the house, grabbed her sweater, and went out the door. All she kept thinking was Lily. Everything will be ok when I get to Lily.

Rick

The first knock, hardly even a rap, didn't even penetrate the musical haze surrounding him. The second knock caught him by surprise. That sharp, staccato sound wasn't expected...especially not before noon on a Saturday. The only people that used that door were family and close friends and none of them ever saw the need to knock.

"Hold on," he hollered as he stretched to turn down the music. That long, lithe teenage body unfolded itself out of the chair and he answered the door. As the door swung open, his confusion only increased. The woman standing there was tiny or seemed that way to him. Her soft, grey curls barely reached the bottom of his chin and she definitely wasn't anyone he recognized. "Can I help you?"

"My daughter. Have you seen my daughter?" Her voice quavered a bit and barely reached his ears.

"What?"

She responded a bit louder, "My daughter...have you seen my daughter? I can't find my Lily."

He wasn't quite sure how to handle this. The old lady obviously needed help. That much was clear. He wasn't ashamed to admit he needed his mom to handle this but, he also knew she'd kick his ass if he left someone standing at the door. Rick needed a messenger.

Rick gave an almost audible sigh of relief when Cam and their mom came into the room not a minute later. He gladly turned the door over to his mom, settled back into his chair, and stuck his ear buds in so the music wouldn't bother his mom as she helped the old lady.

Annie

Annie had just settled into her chair with two of her favorite things...a large cup of coffee and a good book. She loved Saturday mornings. Every other day had her rushing out of the house to get the boys to school or Sunday school but not on Saturday. Saturdays were for sleeping in. Once the boys' noise dragged her out of bed, Saturdays were for reading, relaxing, and endless cups of coffee. She had only read about 10 pages when the sudden silence surprised her. Rick never turned down his music without her intervention.

Curiosity got the better of her. Annie had just flipped her Nook back to the home screen and uncurled herself from her chair when Cam skidded around the corner. "Mom, mom, there's a lady here looking for her daughter. Rick wants you. What should we do?" With those words, Annie's quiet Saturday disappeared before her eyes.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Y'all, after making this, I don't think I will ever buy cream of anything soup again. I seriously had to restrain myself from eating it before we used it for dinner tonight. I was making enough for a family of 5 which includes 3 boys with voracious appetites. You can easily cut this recipe in half.

Be warned...this is not a healthy recipe. This is a once in a while, treat yourself recipe. It would probably make Paula Deen proud.

Monday, February 06, 2012

I got this via email from my mom today. I don't know who wrote it originally. I don't know how long it's been circulating. All I do know is that this Dr. Seuss inspired parody makes my nerdy, geeky soul happy in the pants. I dare you to read it out loud without cracking a smile.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

I know that seems counter-intuitive but it's true. When I have a migraine, I simply can not sit down in front of a computer. The screen refresh rate is killer when I have a migraine. Sadly, I can't even take meds and then sit down in front of it because that damned screen refresh rate kicks it back into high gear. So, this has been the first time in the past 16 hours or so that it's been safe for me to go online.

Since my dear friend, *Vitamin V, kept the bitch of a migraine in check, I felt good enough to get things done. So, today during the day on Saturday, I folded two loads of laundry, dried one load of laundry, and washed one load. I put away all of Gabriel's clothes that had been folded over the past few days and made sure my little ragamuffin took a bath last night. On a side note, Gabe washes his own hair now. I just have to supervise to make sure he actually washes and doesn't just play in the bath. I made 6 dozen+ Oreo Truffles in chocolate, cherry, and mint flavors. I cooked Chicken Ranch Quesadillas with chicken for dinner (made 17 so there would be leftovers). I also helped Marty make a spicy cheese ball to have with crackers while we watch the Super Bowl on Sunday. And, I did all the dishes from Friday night (was a slacker on Friday) and all the dishes that were dirtied through baking and cooking and eating. Oh yeah, sometime in between it all, I also deep conditioned my hair.

If I could guarantee this level of productivity, it would almost make having migraines tolerable.

What have you been up to this weekend? Have you made anything special to munch on during the Super Bowl? Are you cheering on one of the teams or are you just watching the game for the commercials?

Thursday, February 02, 2012

For years, I've been drinking the Komen kool-aid and saw the Komen foundation through rose colored glasses. It seemed that Komen could do no wrong. After all, they had brought such attention to bear on breast cancer. They were fighting the good fight for women's health. I was so impressed with the Komen foundation that I even wrote a post about them here.

I first became a little disillusioned with the Komen foundation when I found out they were suing individuals and smaller charitable foundations that dared to use the phrase "for the cure" or the pink ribbon. But, I swigged back a little more of the Komen kool-aid and reasoned they were just trying to protect their brand, their pristine image. Yesterday, that pink haze, those rosy glasses, were permanently removed. Yesterday, I heard the news of the Komen foundation pulling funding from Planned Parenthood.

The Komen foundation is trying to justify pulling $680,000 in Planned Parenthood funding, funding designated for breast cancer prevention, by saying they are tightening their criteria for funding and organizations under investigation by the government are not eligible for funds. Planned Parenthood maintains the funding was cut because of the unrelenting pressure anti-abortion groups were putting on the Komen foundation to cut ties with Planned Parenthood. The Planned Parenthood point of view seems to be supported by the fact that one of the very anti-abortion groups pressuring the Komen foundation broke the news of the funding cut at least a day BEFORE the official announcement was made.

It saddens me that the Komen foundation vow to remain above politics seems to have crumpled under pressure. It saddens me that the Komen foundation, an organization that purports to be all about women's health seems to have let the neighborhood bully convince them not to support breast exams given by Planned Parenthood. And, it truly saddens me that the anti-abortion foes ignore that only 3% of Planned Parenthood's services are abortion...that most of Planned Parenthood's services focus on maintaining sexual and reproductive health through gyn exams and breast exams and these services are desperately needed by lower income women.

I'm no longer drinking the Komen kool-aid. I will no longer be willing to pay a little extra to just to get the pink version of a product. My money and my support will be going to the organizations like Planned Parenthood from now on.

When I'm sitting here in the quiet, soaking in the peace that only happens after everyone else is in bed, my mind wanders. Sometimes my mind turns towards concerns and I fret and worry. Sometimes my mind says fuck thinking, I'm just going to veg. On days when I'm particularly tired, my brain may turn to the self pity mode of holyshitwe'vebeenthroughsomuchcan'tthepowersthatbeleaveusaloneandletusrelax. But many nights, while the quiet enfolds me, I wonder how I got to be the lucky one...how I got to be so blessed.

And, really, I am one of the lucky ones. Despite the seemingly unending list of medical bullshit that's been thrown at us, I am one of the lucky ones. I have a husband who loves me beyond reason. I have three generally happy, generally healthy kids. I have parents and family who love me and love each other still. And, yeah, we have to cut corners and trim every bit of fat from our budget but I have the freedom and privilege to be a stay at home wife and mother.

I think at times it is so very easy to fall into the trap of lamenting what we don't have...the 4th child you so desperately wanted, the extra money to allow for luxuries, a bigger house. I know I fall prey to that all too easily. But, then I get one of those lovely, delicious quiet moments and I have a chance to see how lucky, how miraculous my life really is. I still don't know what I did to be the recipient of so many blessings, how I got to be so lucky...but, I'm damned glad I am.

Do you think you're a lucky one or are you giving in to the woe is me trap? What makes you a lucky one?