Thursday, April 14, 2011

I can't believe I haven't written in such a long time again! I have been working hard to give myself permission to just "do my best"- which feels awfully inadequate these days. As many of you know, I work a regular full time job as a therapist, am raising two small children, teach, and try to make and sell artwork in order to keep my creative life vibrant. The last two weeks have been teaching weekends- which means my weekends are full of teaching 8 hour day classes. So, of course my poor little blog (and artistic endeavors) have suffered.

To celebrate the completion of the class, we took the family to Monterey Bay Aquarium. . It was my son's first time. I so love it there and wanted to spend my time pointing out all of my favorite fish to my little ones. Unfortunately,I spent most of the trip chasing my daughter. After much exasperation, I grabbed her in front of this jelly fish tank and told her that if she were to run away one more time, we would leave the aquarium immediately. I explained how frightened I become when she is out of my sight. She looked in my eyes as she tried to wiggle out of my grasp. I hardly got to look at the jellyfish... or the beautiful sea horses that I had been excited all week about seeing. Oh well. Maybe next time...

I did want to share one of my daughter's new drawings of a water fairy! I just think it is beautiful. She totally captured a curtsy. These are the images that now fill my psyche with joy.

Although it would still be nice to enjoy the occasional jellyfish or seahorse.

Friday, March 25, 2011

My husband and I will be celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary this weekend. So much has happened in this last six years- the most important being the birth of our two children. We definitely do not look like we did in this picture! A lack of sleep and the trials and tribulations of parenthood have definitely made us both look a bit more frayed around the edges. But I am glad we are facing it all together.

Hopefully this year we can try to go on a date!

I missed my haiku last week. I think my general sleepiness is impacting my ability to be creative.

This week I began work on my cigar box shrine.

Here is a peek at my first drawing...

She will be painted- and applied to the inside of the cigar box.

I have some other ideas that involve a jar of corn and chile that I bought tonight at Trader Joes.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

I decided for today, I would write about my son for a change! My little girl often steals the spotlight, but today she fell asleep in the back seat- and it was my little boy who entertained me on the drive home... blowing kisses at me and laughing with that tiny little voice that makes my heart ache.

I have been so busy with my monster art, raising my family, being sick, and working too much - that I have neglected my Caya Papaya blog. I am definitely on the mend, and have some art ideas that I need to work on before they escape me... so hopefully, this week I can check in before next Friday's Haiku!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

This is the only picture I could find in my archive today that inspired me. I took it in New Mexico about five years ago. I love New Mexico- and still dream that one day I can move the family away from the ridiculously over priced bay area and settle here among the red dirt and amazing sunsets.

On another note, I was better for a couple of days but now I am sick again. I got a chest x-ray this morning, and the Doctor confirmed I have pneumonia. It is so hard to be sick with children. They need you, regardless of whether you have a 104 fever or feel like someone is stabbing you in the chest. So, that is what I am struggling with today. I guess I am the spiny cactus- but I still need to find ways to nurture my little blossoms.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I missed the last couple of weeks due to unbelievable sickness- but I am feeling somewhat better now. I didn't really understand when I was young without children that being sick, sleeping for days, and letting everything go is a luxury that a mother doesn't have. My body finally completely exhausted itself and I ended up in the ER getting IV fluids. I got better just in time to take care of my sick little ones. Now everyone is on the mend- and life is feeling a bit more manageable.

I am having a give away on my other blog- so drop by and leave a comment:-) alphabetty monster give-away I hope everyone out there is feeling healthy and taking care of yourself!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I looked through old pictures and found this image of Chinatown here in San Francisco. I have so many beautiful photographs of this city. I remember being in complete awe when I moved here over 15 years ago. Amazing breathtaking views around every corner. A beautiful diversity that inspires me. So many things to love, and yet all I want now is to go home to Texas. I am so envious of those of you with big living spaces, family close by, and a low cost of living. But alas, my job keeps me here. But I dream of living within driving distance of my parents... and one day, I know I will find the means to pick up and go.

And when I do, I will miss the beauty of this city- and all of the views of the ocean.

Interesting aside- In my peri-menopausal state of constantly forgetting information- I thought the name of this cathedral was Grace Cathedral... then just before I posted this, I realized that this is actually St. Mary's cathedral. So, I changed the Haiku (the second line had read, "lifting the worn face of Grace") ... the interesting thing is today, my mom called from her appointment with the cancer doctor to tell me that she was still cancer free. My mom's name is Mary. (I guess she was reporting that bright cloud free sky)... and all I could think about on my drive home after talking with my mom on the phone is how much I wanted to be near her. Funny how my unconscious put that all into my Haiku before I even knew what was happening.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Leaves of my Tree is a wonderful blog that is currently hosting a giveaway this month- and one of the things that is being given away is a set of four of my monster prints. Some of you may not know about my monster prints- so here is a brief explanation.

Above my son's changing table used to be the image that you see above. It is a self portrait of me when I was maybe twenty with a weird feather boa on my head making a crazy face. I kept looking at it wondering what my son thought when he saw it. Was he frightened? What would he think about me if he continued to look at this every time he had a dirty diaper. What would he think about having his diaper changed? So, I decided that I needed more baby friendly art. At first, I thought of making a little garland of monsters. I have always loved monsters - and I love all things cute. So, when my children went to sleep, I made my first set of three little monsters. On each of their bellies I put the letters L - E - O to spell his name. Every time he looks at them, I tell him their names are L - E - O, and then I tickle his belly and say "Leo". I used to spell my daughter's name to her all the time when she was an infant, and she could spell her own name before she was two.

So that was the beginning of my little monsters. My husband thought they were cute, and he encouraged me to make more. I thought it would be fun to make 26 - one for every letter of the alphabet. So, I stayed up late every night making little monsters and when I was done, I opened up my second ETSY shop- Alphabetty Monsters. Thankfully, I have received lots of wonderful feedback and my little monster store is now more successful than my original store showcasing my fine art paintings. Who would have known?

I have also started a little blog dedicated to my monsters - and also my work with children. Aside from my experience as a mom, I have been a therapist working with disturbed children for going on 15 years. So please visit if you get a chance:-) Click Here

Friday, January 21, 2011

My cat, Maya, loves to hear herself talk. She meows constantly. When we got her, they said, "She is very talkative." I remember at the time thinking that was a good thing. Now I know it was a euphemism for crying at all hours of the day and night. She especially loves to cry on those nights that I have difficulty getting the children to sleep. She has some other annoying habits too. She eats anything - plastic bags, Barbie's hands, my leather boots, her own fur. We tried giving her anti-anxiety medications, but that was not very easy- and super expensive. We have two cats. Zinn the cat is more mellow. The strong quiet type.

Maya really is more my husband's cat. Animal lovers, please don't hate me, but Maya is a difficult cat to love. She is part of our family, and so I try to get along with her as best I can... but sometimes I do daydream about finding her a new home. I work all day with behaviorally disturbed children- who wants to come home to a behaviorally disturbed cat? She is a very beautiful cat though.... talkative and a little disturbed, but beautiful.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I started today with my daughter deciding to use the flat screen tv as the basis for her newest crayola masterpiece. I ended the day realizing that my son probably has a fever. Sandwiched between these two experiences was a not so fun work day. I came home to a disheveled home, loads of laundry, and nothing for dinner. I have a headache. My back hurts. My hair is falling out. (okay, that is because I am still breastfeeding- but it still pretty much sucks.)

So, I am having my adult tantrum here on Haiku Friday. (And I wonder where my daughter gets it from).

This was the only picture I could find in my archive that seemed to match my emotional state. (I wonder how many people have ever photographed themselves in a faux tantrum- didn't I have a picture of my daughter in a fake pout last week?) I hope everyone else is faring better than I have in the last twenty four hours. (Okay and I used a little artistic license with crowned... it is really two syllables, but it just felt better than crown).

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I took this picture of my daughter standing in front of an abstract painting that I made several years ago. I often try to do abstract paintings, but whenever I do- the figurative painter in me becomes bored and unhappy with the finished product. I have always felt that the painting has needed something. For some reason, I keep seeing a large close up view of my daughter pouting at the bottom of the painting.. so the other day, I had her stand in front of it and make a little pouty face. She is pretty good at those. I had some fun with photoshop and ended up with this. I still want to do a painting on the bottom- but life is a bit too hectic to take that on for now.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

With each new year comes new promises. Some of the promises I keep. Some I consciously decide I am not ready for. Others simply fall by the wayside. My vision board this year is full of broken promises to myself. I joked with my partner that I don't even need to do a new vision board this year - since I pretty much haven't met any of last years goals. As I get older, I realize that so much of my life is lived in the moment. I want to be this super organized planner of my life, but life doesn't really work out that way.

Having children just makes that even more so.

But I do think that having some written goals are important. So, here are a few

I want to show more gratitude.

I want to be present for my children.

I want to be present in my relationships.

I want to continue to strive for a life where aside from family, art can be at my center.

I haven't written in my blog for a while. My son started daycare, which has meant we have all been super ill for the last three months. I just finished my last antibiotic- but am not feeling all together healthy. My job situation changed recently, and due to some pretty hefty budget cuts to mental health services for children, I am back to doing an old part of my job that I had hoped I was done with. I have also been focusing some of my creative energy on a new ETSY store that I created that is centered around some of the artwork I have been making for my son.

So I have been busy - but I have missed writing my blog and reading the comments that are left for me. This blog is important to me, and I love the people I have met through it- so it is something that I feel I want to recommit to this year. So, sorry I have been absent. I will try to be better:-)

Happy New Year!

May the year bring you laughter, creativity, love, beauty, inspiration, wonder, and connection.