Every season, I give the same speech to kickoff Super Bowl month, much like I give the same speech to kickoff the Football Foodie season in August. Why the same speech? Why do teams still listen to “Eye of the Tiger” thirty years later? Why do people still talk about Vince Lombardi’s Super Bowl II speech? Or quote Bear Bryant? Tradition. Because it fits. Because none one remembers that after Tom Landry said, “A winner never stops trying” he said, “to get the the front of the deli line.”

So with a few edits, this is this year’s Football Foodie Super Bowl snack speech.

Did you honestly think you could prepare for the Super Bowl in just a couple of days? Did you say to yourself, “Well, I guess since New Orleans is hosting the Super Bowl I could just use this old Hurricane mix I had laying around the house.” Or even, “But I need to get my Pro Bowl party out of the way first! And the Senior Bowl! I cannot even begin to think about my Super Bowl party until next week.”

WELL SUCK IT UP BECAUSE THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU CAN EAT LIKE A PIG UNTIL NEXT SEPTEMBER. You either start planning and cooking now or you will be stuck fighting some I-don’t-care-football-but-maybe-I-will-get-laid-if-I-get-out-of-the-house douchecake in an American Apparel hoodie over the last bag of Cool Ranch Doritos at the Silver Lake Vons next Saturday.

“But Sarah, I was going to make a giant muffaletta or a pot of gumbo for my Super Bowl party. That should feed everyone.” Great. What do you feed everyone for the remaining five hours of your party? If your main course is the game, then what is your halftime show? What are your funny commercials that require you to share 3D glasses with six of your friends and sixty of their filthy 3D thumbprints? Are you ready for people to start rooting through your drawers looking for more snacks? You need to have many, many, supporting dishes for the Super Bowl. For every Matty Ice, there are several lineman there to block for him, and for every Peyton Manning dive to the ground, there are several lineman to throw under the bus for not blocking for him! This is a team sport and your Super Bowl spread needs to reflect that just one or two dishes do not make a buffet.

Are you willing to go to a Super Bowl party and run the risk of them not having enough snacks? And no, showing up with a six-pack of beer is not enough. That’s about a bottle a beer an hour JUST FOR YOURSELF, so no, you did not bring anything to share. So you will sack up and make at least one item to bring to the party. You are a grown-up who can bring at least a covered dish to your friend’s house.

In years past I’ve spread out the recipes over a month for the 28 Days of Super Bowl Recipes (or as my pal Smokey calls it, the “football snack advent calendar”), but since the Football Foodie has moved to a new home and I don’t want to wear out our welcome, this year it’s the Month of Super Bowl Recipes, with posts on Wednesday and Friday for your game planning needs.

This year’s snack line-up is a good mix of mains, small bites and sides. Dishes that can be made in advance, cooked the day-of or even tossed together minutes before of the game. Snacks that you’ll love almost as much as the playoffs.

Nice. That does sound tasty. I’ve been making various iterations of my ‘super bowl pie’ for the last many years, which typically involves (but is not limited to) the following from-scratch items being layered into a large springform pan:

Needless to say, after the usual savory first half, this tends to put us all into a stupor for the second half. The Super Bowl is always a reason to go over the top in terms of culinary creations, I think.

Yeah, just regular vanilla pastry cream works just as well, and especially if you throw a bunch of white chocolate chips in at the end and stir them in until melted. Makes the best banana cream pie you can imagine.

On my personal site, there is a tag for “eat fruit and vegetables” the rest of the week, and I truly do believe that. You get a free day a week and then eat like a responsible person the rest of the time, you’ll be fine.

Some recipes call for the date to be stuffed with cheese (feta?) others with some kind of nut (hazelnut?), but I thought just the date and bacon was fine. Other people liked them, too. They disappeared pretty quickly.

I love bacon wrapped dates of any kind. I tried doing a spread last season of cheese, roasted dates and bacon, but it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. I should try to work on it during the off-season.