October 27, 2017

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♫ Zach Morris is trash
(school bell rings)
- [Narrator] Zack Morris enters the school store
where Kelly works to berate
and judge her coworkers for being different.
- There's nothing in here any normal person
would want to buy.
- [Narrator] Unable to accept
that this store he's never been to
sells stuff he doesn't like, Zack takes it upon himself
to get these nerds fired.
Zack makes his case to Mr. Belding.
- Their best seller is flesh colored bandaids for nerds.
- [Narrator] Then age shames him in his own office.
- You know you've proven
that people over 40 still belong in a workplace.
- [Narrator] Mr. Belding finally caves to Zack's bullying
and agrees to let Zack run the store,
but asks him to please handle
this delicate situation gracefully.
So Zack makes this announcement to the entire school.
- Will the three dweebs who used to run
the school store please report to the principal's office.
- [Narrator Zack gives the store a makeover,
replacing all the school supplies, textbooks
and SAT prep guides with sunglasses, beach balls,
and those books for kids that come
with a bag of magic tricks.
But for some reason, nobody is lining up
to buy Zack's novelty clock backpacks.
When the girls go to swimsuit practice
and Screech leaves for photo club,
Zack gets one of his signature great ideas.
- Screech, go get your camera.
We're gonna take pictures of the girls in the pool.
- [Narrator] Yikes, Zack sends Screech in full scuba gear
to take pictures of the female swim team
without their consent so he can sell them
in a Girls Of Bayside swimsuit calendar for $5 a pop.
The girls are excited about the new customers,
until they see the giant cardboard cutouts,
of some super casual candid moments at practice,
advertising the unauthorized calendars.
They demand Zack stop selling them immediately, he refuses.
Mr. Belding tells Zack to destroy every last calendar,
when a strange man with a goatee appears who was drawn
to the school thanks to the photos of underage girls
in bathing suits that his friend who works
at a print shop showed him.
He says he's a fashion magazine photographer
and is looking for three models for an upcoming spread
on high school fashion, which everyone believes
even though this creep looks like
he got dressed in the dark.
The girls jump at the chance to be famous
and Zack says he's happy to recommend them
as the best models in the calendar
if they agree to let him keep selling.
The girls agree to Zack's extortion.
The girls have a photo shoot all over school,
including at the student store
which means they had to close it for business,
and the pictures turn out great!
So great that this man who they just met
and for some reason still believe works in fashion
despite that shirt, wants to take Kelly
to Paris for a month for more photo shoots.
Zack narcissistically makes this all about him and decides
to sabotage Kelly's potentially life changing opportunity.
- If Kelly goes to Paris, she'll forget about me forever.
I've gotta find some way to make her stay.
- [Narrator] Zack begins psychologically manipulating Kelly,
first reminding the girls that Paris
means she'll miss their upcoming swim meet.
Then telling Slater Paris means she won't be able
to work with him on their science project.
Then asking Screech to pretend to cry,
and telling Kelly he doesn't want to make her feel bad
or anything but Screech is crying
because she's missing his birthday next week.
- Gosh, I feel like I'm disappointing everybody.
- [Narrator] The gang tries to take Kelly
to a goodbye lunch, but she can't make it
because of one last photo shoot.
Zack says he'll invite everybody to the photo shoot,
which sounds great to Kelly, then Zack turns around
and lies to his friends that Kelly doesn't want them there
because it's unprofessional.
Zack arrives at Kelly's photo shoot alone
and says nobody came because they're angry at her
for all the ways she's let them down.
This emotionally destroys Kelly forcing her to
run off the set in tears.
The creep in the ugly shirt sees
right through Zack's mind games,
shames him for taking away Kelly's opportunity,
and is somehow the voice of reason in all of this.
Zack shows up at Kelly's house to confess and apologize.
And gives her permission to go to Paris
because he still thinks he owns her
because he never learned anything.
Let's review.
Zack Morris got three innocent students fired,
turned a high school student store
into his personal toy chest, sold illegal swimsuit photos
of his underage classmates,
which brought this creep out of the woodwork,
and when this gave Kelly a life changing opportunity,
he psychologically manipulated her
into feeling bad about it, and never learned anything
from any of it.
Zack Morris is trash.
♫ Zach Morris is trash
(school bell rings)