North Star {Petite Cabled Skirt}

This is the twenty-second post in my North Star November series….a soul centered discussion about depression. Each day this month, I’ll be sharing a piece of my soul’s journey, along with a free pattern to thank you for taking part in such an important conversation! Catch up by reading Day 21. Jump forward to Day 23.

Brains are like a sledding hill.

I recently read an analogy about our brains being like a sledding hill.

The more times we sled down any given spot, the deeper the grooves in that place get. After using one sled trail repeatedly, the sled naturally starts to get pulled into that path every time it begins its descent down the hill.

Over time, the more we experience a thought (or a mood or state of being, like depression), the harder it is for that thought sled to jump off the predefined trail and make a new path.

Our grooves have become SO DEEP we naturally (unconsciously) keep getting pulled back into that spot.

I’m telling you this because I want to recognize how ridiculously hard it is to change the state of depression.

Contrary to what some people might say, thinking positively or finding the bright side of life when we’re already in these negative thought patterns feels nearly impossible.

Breaking these patterns is overwhelming and takes loads of dedication…I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m starting to truly believe it’s worth the work though.

Comment and tell me…

Have you ever tried changing your thought patterns only to be pulled back into your old grooves?

{Though I do try to check all comments here on my blog regularly, it is not monitored 24/7. If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help! This suicide hotline is available 24 hours a day to support you: 1-800-273-8255}

Petite Cabled Skirt Crochet Pattern

Another something pretty….

This cute headband and skirt set has been a long time favorite of mine. It’s adorable as a Newborn photo prop or over a onesie to add a loving hand-made touch. It features a six stitch cable pattern which creates a gorgeous finished result. Plus an adorable ruffle on the bottom makes it extra sweet. Enjoy.

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Fold your piece with right sides together, and seam up the starting and finishing edges.

Turn your piece right side out.

Pick up and single crochet 1 stitch along the bottom edge of each row (example – if you have 60 rows, you’ll pick up 60 sts) all the way around your piece. After you have picked up one stitch from the edge of each row, join in the round, by slip stitch first and last sts together.

Work in continuous rounds.

Round 1: Single Crochet into each stitch two times (this will double your number of sts)

Round 2: Single Crochet into each stitch

Continue to single crochet each round until your ruffled edging is approx. 1inch (2.5cm) in length.

Secure and weave in all ends.

Newborn Headband Pattern

Chain 9

Row 1: Single crochet into second chain from hook and each chain across, CH2, TW (8 total sts)

Fold your piece with right sides together, and seam up the starting and finishing edges.

Turn your piece right side out.

Pick up and single crochet 1 stitch along the bottom edge of each row (example – if you have 60 rows, you’ll pick up 60 sts) all the way around your piece. After you have picked up one stitch from the edge of each row, join in the round, by slip stitch first and last sts together.

Work in continuous rounds.

Round 1: Single Crochet into each stitch two times (this will double your number of sts)

Round 2: Single Crochet into each stitch

Continue to single crochet each round until your ruffled edging is approx. 1inch (2.5cm) in length.

Secure and weave in all ends.

0-3 Month Headband Pattern

Chain 9

Row 1: Single crochet into second chain from hook and each chain across, CH2, TW (8 total sts)

Fold your piece with right sides together, and seam up the starting and finishing edges.

Turn your piece right side out.

Pick up and single crochet 1 stitch along the bottom edge of each row (example – if you have 60 rows, you’ll pick up 60 sts) all the way around your piece. After you have picked up one stitch from the edge of each row, join in the round, by slip stitch first and last sts together.

Work in continuous rounds.

Round 1: Single Crochet into each stitch two times (this will double your number of sts)

Round 2: Single Crochet into each stitch

Continue to single crochet each round until your ruffled edging is approx. 1.25 inch (3.25cm) in length.

Secure and weave in all ends.

3-6 Month Headband Pattern

Chain 9

Row 1: Single crochet into second chain from hook and each chain across, CH2, TW (8 total sts)

Fold your piece with right sides together, and seam up the starting and finishing edges.

Turn your piece right side out.

Pick up and single crochet 1 stitch along the bottom edge of each row (example – if you have 60 rows, you’ll pick up 60 sts) all the way around your piece. After you have picked up one stitch from the edge of each row, join in the round, by slip stitch first and last sts together.

Work in continuous rounds.

Round 1: Single Crochet into each stitch two times (this will double your number of sts)

Round 2: Single Crochet into each stitch

Continue to single crochet each round until your ruffled edging is approx. 1.5 inch (3.75cm) in length.

Secure and weave in all ends.

6-12 Months Headband Pattern

Chain 9

Row 1: Single crochet into second chain from hook and each chain across, CH2, TW (8 total sts)

Fold your piece with right sides together, and seam up the starting and finishing edges.

Turn your piece right side out.

Pick up and single crochet 1 stitch along the bottom edge of each row (example – if you have 60 rows, you’ll pick up 60 sts) all the way around your piece. After you have picked up one stitch from the edge of each row, join in the round, by slip stitch first and last sts together.

Work in continuous rounds.

Round 1: Single Crochet into each stitch two times (this will double your number of sts)

Round 2: Single Crochet into each stitch

Continue to single crochet each round until your ruffled edging is approx. 2 inch (5cm) in length.

Secure and weave in all ends.

Headband Pattern

Chain 9

Row 1: Single crochet into second chain from hook and each chain across, CH2, TW (8 total sts)

You have permission to sell finished products made from this pattern, but please leave a link to my website, www.melodys-makings.com, in your product listing specifying that I am the designer of this pattern. Thank you for supporting me as a work at home mother!

31 Comments On “North Star {Petite Cabled Skirt}”

Yes, I have a problem not only with a thought pattern, but with a behavior pattern. For years I have used food as a means to self medicate, until I gained over 350 pounds. Not sure how much over because the school nurse’s scale didn’t go over 350. Since then I have had a gastric bypass. It was been successful and I had lost over 150 pounds. But I still find myself wanting to turn to food for self medication. I need to constantly battle the urge to eat to keep the pounds from creeping up on me. It is a struggle, but I am not giving up.

Love your strength Leslie! It’s so common to have a bad behavior pattern associated with your bad feeling patterns. I certainly have a few of my own!! Bringing awareness to the feeling patterns can help us circumvent the habitual response….but boy does it take lots of work! I’m inspired by your strength. Love and hugs coming to you.

It is always easier for us to fall and be trapped in the rut we have gotten used to. While I was battling ovarian cancer, ppl used to tell me that I do not seem ill because I was always so positive and always had a joke and a smile ready for everybody – nope that was me crawling out of the negative rut. Now almost 10 years afterwards, the time is getting me down, doc says you made 5 years, now let’s work for 8, I passed that and now 10 is on the boards, after which he says I stand a chance to have kicked its ass – but then my brain again tells me, but what if… A lot of our fears and negativity lies in what might be, especially if you have basically cheated death already…Rather start living life in the now, and tomorrow will look after itself and the past is history.

Love this comment. Yes – so much of our negativity lies in getting caught up in past experiences or future worries. I’m definitely finding the key to living more peacefully is to regularly check into what’s happening NOW.

I suffered abuse as a child that sent what is me into hiding. It took my mother’s (abuser) death to start the process of healing. I still have issues and, yes, sliding into the abyss is so very easy.
There are several coping mechanisms that work for me. Role-playing video games- like life but the consequences don’t matter, you get to be the hero, save the world and get out your aggression harmlessly by killing the bad guys. There are always mysteries, puzzles, drama and time passes where you don’t think of sad.
Crochet, actually creating of any kind; I recently began baking with sourdough starter- kind of like having a pet that feeds you without having to die.
Fake it until you make it, smile anyway- it really does work.
Celebrate every triumph- even if it’s getting dressed today- get a chalkboard and write down all today’s successes and display it where you see it often.
Every time I catch myself in the old negative groove I recite my, I guess, mantra: Never give up, never give in, never let the bad (or whatever word works for you ?) win. I recently found a new one: Whatever you did this week, it was enough. Whatever you felt this week, it was valid. Whatever struggles you faced this week, you are loved.
??

Those old tapes run whether I want them to or not. Most of the time I can keep the on “mute”, but they still creep in. I spent 3 weeks in a local stress center over 30 years ago, and after 2 years with a wonderful counselor, and turning my life around, I can say I’m pretty content now. I find we are kinder to ourselves as we age, too.

Thank you for being so transparent. I know it is hard to let our innermost feelings be seen by all and sundry. I will be trying to express myself more openly to my loved ones and quit letting my mind tell me things that are only my perception of the truth. Thank you again for your strength and I am so glad that you have found a way to healing.

Katy M, Pam, you are brave ladies, Hopefully knowing there are a lot more ladies and gents going down the same path, Will help you, turn the corner into healing,it’s amazing to know that so many have found the strength to speak up, Love,hugs and Prayers <3

Oh is it ever hard!!!! But there are ways. You just have to dedicate yourself to doing it. EFT / Tapping is the absolute best way to change how you think, and it works.
I force myself to exercise, releasing feel good hormones, I force myself to go outside to enjoy nature and fresh air. I’ve suggested this on other FB groups and been absolutely blasted. “That’s such a stupid idea, I have ______ and can’t do that.” I have allergies, I have pain, I still do it because I KNOW that when I get into it I feel better.
Thank you for another wonderful pattern and thank you for your blog. So many don’t talk about it, they hide, they’re ashamed, shush don’t talk about that in public, it’s not appropriate. I think that if we all talked about it openly and honestly maybe some of us may never have gotten to this point.
Marissa Peer is offering a free mini course “I Am Enough” on her site, I’m trying it. It can’t hurt and I can only learn more.
Hugs and enjoy your Thanksgiving. I’m in Canada, we had ours weeks ago.

Yes – the dedication required to turning things around can be overwhelming. I think it takes a certain amount of “readiness” to commit to the journey. And of course it comes and goes over time…I’ve just gotten back into my meditating on a more regular schedule after falling out of it for a couple of weeks. I’ll have to check out Marissa Peer 🙂 I’ve seen a few amazing online workshops like that one coming around this season. Love it!

hi melody,
i was formally diagnosed 5 years ago with chronic PTSD … have apparently had it all my life.
when a ‘bomb’ goes off i shut down physically, but my brain goes crazy trying to figure out what happened… it is torturous, a complete tsunami of feelings. it used to take me months or weeks to get out of this mode/groove, but with the help of my EXCELLENT psychiatrist i am stronger and it takes me less time to recuperate. there was a ‘bomb’ on monday evening; it was especially painful because the ‘bomber’ actually demeaned my PTSD. By wednesday afternoon, i had figured out the reality and my feelings and determined a different path to take and took action.
melody, thank you again for opening the door for us to share.
blessings on you,
margaret
(ps… i shared the link to nonviolent communication with my psychiatrist and she was thrilled to learn about it.)

YES! Love that you shared the non violent communication stuff with your therapist…it’s amazing! Nick and I are actively trying to practice it more in our relationship and with our kids.

So awesome to hear how quickly you were able to sort through the sticky stuff you were dealing with this week. That’s an insight I recently had too….the big emotions are still coming just as often, but how I’m handling and dealing with them is slowly improving. That’s a HUGE win! Keep it up!

i moved out .of my home when i was 19 years old. depressed and full of anger i blamed my for all the bad things and feelings in my life.
when i turned 38 years old, i realized i had lived half my life at home with family and the other half outside of that environment. I could no longer blame family members for my emotional problems. this was life changing for, my mind set changed.
i am in charge of who i am, and can choose to hold on to that closed friend anger or let go. a weight was lifted off of my chest. it wasn’t easy; that old friend,anger, wanted to keep me in a comfort space of non-change.
i’m in my sixties now. my long journey continues to become a more compassionate soul. you are in charge and responsible for your reality, make it a joyful one.

That is a great comparison to the sledding hill that is exactly what it is. It takes work to stay out of the grooves, ruts that have built up
in our brains thought waves. That is why I watch, read, anything to
know how to make changes in my thoughts and as usual sometimes it does
get the best of one, but a little depress and up I climb again to being
alive. Thank you for your thought provoking ideas. Continued success.
Happy Thanksgiving.

Yes! I also spend a lot of time reading about the brain or listening to inspiring messages. I’ve found it makes a HUGE difference. Weeks where I forget to be tapped into those resources are usually filled with a lot more resistance for me.

It was very hard but I challenged myself so say “I am Happy” every day whilst looking into the mirror. At first I couldn’t look into my eyes and I knew I was lying. Eventually I could meet my gaze and as it began to become true that I actually was getting happier, I could even smile. It is still hard sometimes but when I feel the slide into sadness and depression I use this method of lifting myself up. I hope this helps someone.

Love this! You could even replace happy with the truths about yourself that we talked about a few weeks back. I like to tell myself, “You are strong, capable, worthy, loveable, and BIG” when I’m feeling down.

It is so easy to fall into them but I have learned to make some good ones that are good to fall into as well. One thing I constantly tell myself and others is nothing lasts, no matter how bad it is today, tomorrow could be the best one you’ve ever had so never give up trying. It takes work but the good ruts are possible.

That’s a great one to remember – “This too shall pass”. I get really caught up in feeling “trapped” when I have big emotions. It’s hard to remember that with time they too shall pass. Thanks for this comment!

My biggest pattern that was SO difficult to change was searching for abusive people to take care of me. Years and years of the same pattern repeated, finally it quite literally almost killed me. IT took me 10 years to change this pattern, 2 of them resolutely single as I learned to change and just stop looking.

I was fit and happy just living life. It was me and my son. While being a single mother wasnt easy. I can honestly say we were so happy. Then I meet someone and got remarried. While he was amazing in the beginning. 5 years later his daughter and a new baby. I have never been so unhappy. While I can’t blame him entirely because I stay. He’s such a mean and unhappy person. All his short comings are now my fault. I tell no on and instead smile thru it all. I am sure it isnt as bad as it feels but I wake and sleep to insults. I coped like a lot of people do. I have more then doubled my weight. I know I need to change my mind set and get out and on with my life. Its just hard to climb out when your stuck in that ditch.

I have struggled with depression for over 40 years. Thank God I found a woman therapist who understands where I’m coming from. She has been my lifesaver. I needed her to to help me understand why I was angry for so many years. Judy