Is It At All Possible That The Internet Overreacted To Ben Affleck Getting Cast As Batman?

I know I'm not the only one who witnessed the internet explode last night when the news broke that Ben Affleck would be playing Batman in an unnamed 2015 film that sounds like a Man of Steel sequel-ish. But let's back up for a second and remember what life was like before Zack Snyder ruined everything.

Like everyone one else in America with hopes and dreams and goals, I spent last night calmly cruising the Internet. Seeing what was out there, what was new, what the trolls were trolling on a nice, humid summer night. And just as I was hitting my groove, stalking a comment section of a blog I would prefer not to name, the shit hit the fan. Then fell off, then hit it again.

BEN AFFLECK IS PLAYING BATMAN! EVERYONE KILL YOURSELVES. THERE IS NO REASON TO GO ON ANYMORE.

Guys, I've seen internet anger before and I've seen internet outrage, but I've never seen tweets like this before. Like rapid fire, they filled my feed and I struggled to keep up. To understand why exactly this was the worst thing we've ever seen in the history of humans being able to see.

I think we all know who the villain in the next Batman film is. Whoever cast Ben Affleck.

Look, I get it. Ben Affleck's not exactly superhero material and he's not exactly what we all picture as Batman. Like everyone else who had a post-Pearl-Harbor crush on him, I saw him in Daredevil and I regretted seeing him in Daredevil. But can we all take a deep breath here and admit that we're maybe, sorta overreacting a bit. No one even liked Man of Steel when it premiered this summer. People found it too long and too boring and too blahhh. So can't we write off this particular superhero franchise as being awful and wait, um, let's see, probably two years, for them to remake the movie with a different director and cast.

Why are they making a sequel to a movie that everyone hated? Are they trying to force us to like it? Should I call the police?

Jenni

No call Gossip Cop! They’re the only ones who can help us now.

Lilian R

Very funny, loved this article

James Thomas Sanderhoff

If I killed myself over Spiderman and then had to watch it as an angel, why the would I say “if only I hadn’t overreacted to that news, I’d be able to see a different dude play Spider-Man…in 3D” to another angel? Angels can only watch in non-3D theaters these days?

#LogicFail

Jenni

The first Spider-Man wasn’t in 3D. This last one was in 3D.

James Thomas Sanderhoff

“This would be like if you killed yourself when Tobey Maguire got cast as Spider-Man in the 2002 movie and then had to watch Andrew Garfield take over the role a mere 10 years later”

How can I watch Andrew Garfield take over the role without seeing the movie?

Jenni

Ohhh, you must have skipped the day in science class when they talked about Heaven. You can still read all the entertainment industry news up there as well as see the teaser trailers (note: not full trailers). So you can watch about 15 seconds of Andrew Garfield taking over the role.

James Thomas Sanderhoff

I did skip a lot of science class back in school… especially when they talked about Heaven.