Thursday, November 28, 2013

Gratitude, the simple and profound feeling of being thankful,
is the foundation of all generosity.
I am generous when I believe that right now,
right here, in this form and place,
I am being given what I need.
Generosity requires that we relinquish something,
and this is impossible if we are not glad for what we have.

~~Sallie Jiko Tisdale~~

Thankful cranberry salad came out of the old mold :)
So pretty that I may do this for Christmas also.
I put grapes in the center...

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

After baking a pumpkin pie, making a sour cream pound cake that I forgot to
put sour cream in and immediately just dumped it back in bowl and remixed.
Then chopped celery and onion for dressing, breakfast, cleaned kitchen
and
turned computer on this early morning
and on the screen
that I had written
16,9015 pages
1330 posts

That is a lot of words and writing in 5 years.
Especially since this one who is now the matriarch of her family
one on one
does not really say all that much.

A new path opened for me
when I began to write on line.
So many new friends
and my son made the comment recently
that I had quite an international following :)

The computer, camera, Callie, building a cottage in the woods
all became a reality after the age 73.
If someone had predicted this for me
years ago
I would have said "no way".
So many of us do not know what surprises the future holds.

I am so thankful for my life at this time,
family, children, grandchildren and all the
special people who write me,
to think I have never met any of you in person
and you are a big part of my world at this time.
What would I do without you...

So pleased my granddaughter arrived safely in New York from Thailand.
Wish my daughter in Tampa and grandchildren in Washington, DC and New York
and my son in Thailand
could be with me tomorrow.
But thankful for all who will be sitting at the big table on this 2013 Thanksgiving day.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The frost never spoiled my
Rosemary and Sage.
Just gathered some and will put
Rosemary in a vase on the table.
At this time like this better then flowers.
The scent of them both in the kitchen
at this moment
is wonderful.
I cannot imagine
not having fresh herbs....
Also still have an abundance of Parsley, Chives and some Cilantro.

Fresh sage for dressing
is really strong
and only use a little
Oh
such a difference from the sage you find in a little can at the market.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Finished last minute shopping at 8:00 this morning.
Cranberry salad made 1/2 recipe last night
taste wonderful. 1/2 recipe just filled my mold and
a couple of tablespoons for me to sample.
Been a lot of years since I made this and forgot how
good it is - healthy too.

Tonight cornbread for dressing being made,
3 gallons of my sweet tea and lately have been
warming it and like it.

Tomorrow will make sour cream pound cake
an old favorite and on Wednesday pumpkin pie
and set the big old table.

Been Snowing for about 30 minutes....

Went back to my post
this is 45 minutes later :)

I have so much to be Thankful for
and my list would be never ending....

Saturday, November 23, 2013

A good day
was yesterday...
A day at home
inside all day
temperature dropping
I like a day like this
and with Winter on the way
there will be many....
Callie would go outside and quickly be back at door to come inside.

My growing to do list I began to tackle
Phone numbers of help and special
needs upgraded and sent to children
Emergency numbers in purse - redone
A lot of typing went on this morning...
Sorting recipes
always a thought of making recipe book
but never had time
too many recipes, old and new
so putting in plastic sheets in binders
where daughter's and granddaughter's
can browse on visits and copy
if they see something they like.
Also 3 new future posts for my journal
have been typed and saved.

Looking out window I view a pile of brush
that was gathered Thursday. One burned
and this one in the future on a still day with damp ground.
See what happens constantly when you live surrounded by old woods ?
A lot of outside work done on that day and was even able to use the
lawn tractor for over an hour. Felt so good to work outside on what may have
been the really nice day left before cold weather continues.

Looking at weather channel
it came on about Kennedy's assassination.
Memories surfaced
as I was in a new home on a beautiful farm.
In my late 20's
my son a toddler at home, his sisters in school
and my Jamie not yet born.
I remember hearing this
as radio was playing.
Tears then and again today as I listened to a replay at 12:30 noon.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Don't you just love it
when you find a new recipe.
Especially one that you like the ingredients, is simple,
looks attractive and One Woman can prepare for herself
and also as an addition on her big table when a lot of family
will arrive for Thanksgiving Dinner....
A plus
good for all 12 months of the year.
Will be
especially good next summer when I can use items from my little garden...

My Laurie
in Florida told me about this dish
and how pretty it looked when she prepared it.
I am already thinking
what else can I add ?

She sent me the website
and instead of listing
ingredients and seasonings
yellow squash, potatoes, zucchini, tomatoes and onions
you can look up if you like.http://eatlaughcraft.wordpress.com/

Tomato, Potato.Zucchini, Summer Squash " Casserole"

My daughter substituted Egg Plant for the potatoes
I like this....
Also noticed so many recipes on this site that are new to me
that I like and will try in the future...

I might add
I have just started back on a few weeks of high prednisone
It affects me differently each time.
At the moment
immediate healing,
on a high
and wanted to eat all day yesterday
but luckily
do not gain weight.
At least never in the past :)

Hope this is a short process
that does not have any side affects
I have difficulty dealing with.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Phone rang at 7:00
just like he informed me he would call.
I am always informed and the phone rings as the clock strikes 7:00 AM.

My sharing goes nonstop to the special son
who always listens, never scolds me or interrupts.
I feel so free when I talk to him.

A moment ago I wrote him an email he will receive tonight, his morning and as his mama goes to bed. So ashamed as I share some of what I still want (as my doctor told me - make a list and my list so few) , my fears, questioning of these last years.
No one likes me to say "last years" but they are. Well aware that very few years are left and time is going by at an accelerated speed. I apologised to my son and do not need to do this ever again.
I am happy, at peace but still question much.
Normal or not
I do not know
and at the moment
do not care....

Conversation finished, quick breakfast of fruit, yogurt, green tea, zucchini bread and out the door
for a quick trip to local small town. This town is 8 miles away, love how I can navigate quickly
as I know all the shortcuts and go when traffic is low. Hospital stop for blood work. Began seeing a new doctor Monday and it was difficult to start over, but left her feeling so uplifted as she is an internist and familiar with the inflammatory problem I have. It was so good to leave her office
feeling I have made a good decision. This one finally taking new patients as I had tried earlier times
to have her as my primary but could not.

On for a quick grocery stop and I know I am positive there will be a very small garden next year, even if in pots - as two very small yellow squash $1.50. Along with bokchow, broccoli, carrots, celery and anything else I want to put in the pan it will make stirfy this evening with an addition of shrimp. Also some holiday Peppermint ice cream and huge chocolate chip cookies (that I devoured 2 with milk on arriving home.)

Post office stop and stopped at a new Dairy Queen that opened this morning. Bright red umbrellas
over shiny black tables surrounded the store as you made your entrance. This in no way is my regular
kind of eating but did it anyway (probably to the horrors of some health ones in the family)
A chili dog, onion rings (delicious and probably because it was opening morning - maybe not :)

I sat in the sun as people passed by, some smiling and I wonder if the special attention I receive lately is because of my cane and I realize I usually have a smile on my face - anyway I like it as doors are opened and even my grocery cart is returned to store. Guess it does not take much to make me happy this morning or really most times. I have grown to expect so little from others but still expect more from my children then I should - ashamed of this as everyone has busy lives and are not near.

Returning home down my wonderful winding country road come upon a road block as I viewed about 50 people, cameras
that were filming a country music video. Memories surfaced of about 15 years ago when living in the old farm house that was done. Very emotional about much going on surrounding and inside that much loved home and remember well the words of my 2 youngest
"mama, treat this as an adventure." Now many years later I can and smile about it.

So home, cool but sun is shining, Callie runs to meet me, groceries unloaded and I think
How very thankful I am for my surroundings of these peaceful nature filled fields and woods.

Hopefully I will never have to leave
and do not know if I ever can leave.....
always had a occasional thought that there might be one somewhere in my lifetime who would love these surroundings
like I do. Then I have grown so comfortable being alone and with my own schedule
that I probably would not be good company for anyone.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

It seems like yesterday
that the fields were lush and green.
The trees filled with green and then colored leaves.
I believe
as we age that time seems to go by so quickly.
Now I see bare fields and trees
but still beautiful sunsets.
I plan on my time left on this earth
always to see the beauty of my surroundings in every season

The end of a cool day.
I wanted at lunch to sit on the deck in the sun that
came out for such a short time and have my soup, sandwich and tea.
Stayed a few minutes
and had to come inside as it
seemed the dampness chilled me to the bone.

~~There are things you can't reach.
But you can reach out to them, all day long.
The wind, the bird flying away
the idea of God
and it can keep you as busy as anything else
and happier
I look morning to night
I never stop looking~~~

Mary Oliver

A day has ended
it went by so quickly
and I wonder
"what have I done?"

Friday, November 15, 2013

Errand day
post office
market
gas in truck
trash left off
a visit to our local small store
looking for khaki's for my youngest granddaughter
and was not successful.

But I spotted them these all over the store

A 2 feet bare tree, frosted snow branches with little lights that stay on for 4 hours and then off for 20.
They turn back on automatically.
So - on long dark days and nights
and at this time already dark in this cottage.
These are so welcome in several areas of this cottage
and they were on sale....
Remind me of the battery candles that I use this time of year
and enjoy them so much.

Vying to buy nothing else to sit around,
giving away, minimal Christmas decorating
being done at this time
and here I made a purchase of several of these :)

Thursday, November 14, 2013

A cold and sunny bright day
a perfect day for organizing paper work and reflecting on much I have underlined
in this mountain of books and articles that are in this cottage.

Here is a sample....

"All beings receive the fruits of their actions. Their lives arise and pass away according to
the deeds created by them. We can deeply care for them, but in the end
we cannot act for them nor let go for them nor love for them"

On this day

I choose to stay when I want to retreat
Choose to forgive when I want to condemn
Choose to love when I want to attack
Choose to hope when I want to doubt
Choose to stand when I want to fall........

and one more

On this day
I offer my gratitude for the blessings of this earth I have been given.
I offer my gratitude for the measure of health I have been given.
I offer my gratitude for the family and friends I have been given.
I offer my gratitude for the life I have been given...

Monday, November 11, 2013

On gappa blog yesterday
read about - "Dabur Chyawanprash"
have never heard of this
and it sounds amazing.
Amazon sells,
they sell everything and
thinking of ordering.
Wonder what it would do for me at this time of life?

Received this early morning
and sharing a few...

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence
or phrase is surprising or unexpected: frequently humorous,
Winston Churchill loved them.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak

If I agreed with you, we both would be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

In filling out an application, where it says, "in case of emergency, Notify, I PUT DOCTOR

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy

Going to church does not make you a Christian any more then standing in a garage makes you a car

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Take the time to retreat from your day - to - day routine, and make a genuine effort
to reconnect with yourself and your natural surroundings.
Something I read this early morning.

I thought this was what I was doing
and seems not so.
Here it is November, leaves cover the ground, wind blowing and a chill in the air.

A year that when I look back
I think went faster then any in my lifetime.
A year where so much has happened to me and in this family
and I almost feel like I lost myself somewhere along the line.

Physically feeling good at the moment, a smile on my face,
feeling at peace and yet
I have much to do
regarding body, mind and spirit.
For some reason in my lifetime I thought this would stop
eventually and I would say to myself "you have arrived."
It is quite evident to me in these last years
I have not arrived
and wonder does anyone ever arrive?

There are continual lessons to learn.

Remember, wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit
~~ Edward Abbey~~

In order to understand this world, one has to turn away from it on occasion
~~Albert Cumus~~

Seeking a quiet day and then some more quiet days
to quiet the mind
and to stop trying to understand so much.

My heart tells me to do the best I can, stop the questioning, just accept
and nothing stays the same anyway and is always changing

Monday, November 4, 2013

My Laurie
in Tampa
called and talked and remembered
my old cranberry salad recipe.
Found it handwritten
in my over 40 year old recipe book.
I think it came from my Aunt Lucille who passed
away 4 years ago in her 90's.

dissolve jello in boiling water
add sugar
mix well
add rest of ingredients

pour in well greased mold - it always looked so festive
at Thanksgiving, Christmas or really - anytime
You could put in a glass Pyrex dish....

Keeps a long time in frig and slices beautifully

~~ I just went upstairs and retrieved my old mold ~~
seems I remember this mold not quite big enough for all of the mixture
and I would put the remainder in a glass bowl :)
I may just half it this time for my old mold.
I will use one jello, one orange, not so many cranberries
just less of everything - I think - not sure yet...
and may fill the center with grapes :)

Early this morning
pumpkin bread cooling
and placed my old mold
where daughter's could see it.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

I smile at a dozen comments from one who's words
always are special to me - Ellen Hamilton.

Conscious of my warm heart as I continue to read my son's email with names of unfamiliar cities
and words
in his far off land, sharing of some of my granddaughter Sarah's visits to
Chiang Mai, Thai Island, Kon Lanta and the Linh Hotel.
A thought arises as I continue to smile
could I just book a flight and take off
even with cane in hand ?

I read something from Tricycle that explains much

Giving Rise To Forgiveness

~~Our suffering was not caused by our parents or grandparents.
It was merely passed down. We are social animals.
We grow through modeling.
We teach what we have learned.
We act as we have been acted upon.
A person who is not loving
has not experienced love.
It is not his fault.

Realizing this gives rise to forgiveness,
and in Chin we vow that suffering will stop with us.
We Will Not Pass It Down~~ Guo Jun

I read this and realize that so much was missed in my early years from some.
But I vow not to pass it on and to practice love even to the unloving.
Never a day has gone by that when in contact I have not told my children, grandchildren,
in the past their father or special ones then and now
" I love you"
So at times when these words did not come to me over the many years
or even now
I realize even more that some were not taught.

About Me

This Journal is being written for my pleasure, my children and my grandchildren. Sharing some of my past, present and thoughts for future. It is the Journal of a sensitive soul who has entered her 8th decade. My life journey has taken me down a lot of roads with many twists and turns. It's not the journey that I would have visualized at the age of 25 when a third child was on the horizon. I love the warmth of the sun, sound of rain, a crackling fire, simplicity and elegance. Find pleasure in sitting on my porch with tea in a china cup and digging in the earth. I am more myself at this time of life than ever before. A considerable part of my past was in the business world, multi tasking and being super organized. Today I am trying to simplify and be more mindful. Also learning about this journey through aging and Sjogren's Syndrome.
It is not as easy as I thought, even though I have a lot of solitude at this time of life. My days fly by and I do not think I have enough time left on earth to do and experience all that is the desire of my heart.
One thing I am sure of is that I could not make it on this journey without my daily prayer and meditating time.