Thursday, October 8, 2009

Cardinal Sin

Am I committing any kind of cardinal sin by posting twice in the same day? Well, its almost tomorrow anyway...

Life feels very colorful these days. Despite living in what most people call the greyest city in the country, I don't feel its like that at all. Moving out and getting started on my own really doesn't feel as jarring as everyone said it would, either. People asked if I was scared, nervous, excited, all those emotions...but really, all I felt was...normal. I got in my car, drove to Humboldt, spent time with my best friend and met some new people. I drove from Humboldt to Seattle, and showed up at my relatives' house. I woke up the next morning and started looking for places to live. I moved in a couple days ago to this two bedroom apartment, which I share with Jake, who is thus far a fantastic roommate. It feels like I'm on an extended vacation, even though I know I'm not.
I did sit down and think about it yesterday and a small pang of sadness gripped my heart as I realized I would never again be living under my parents roof as a child. And though I am still very young, and would not consider myself an "adult" (nor do I hope to ever hold that title), I can no longer consider myself a dependent. Everything is different now, and I can't even feel it.
That's what happens when you travel a lot as a kid. And I can't say I'm not grateful for this feeling. It would make life infinitely more difficult if I felt home sick or displaced.

On a completely different topic, because I digress, I saw one of the most beautiful things I've seen in a while just a few minutes ago. I was washing my hands and picked up the bottle of soap. I squeezed the bottle on accident while it was still upright, and a host of tiny bubbles came bursting out of it. And they just hovered there, all these different sized little bubbles, happily bouncing around in the air. It made me really genuinely happy for some reason. Here I thought I was looking at and admiring the small works of God, but even when I think I am focused on the smallest of them all, He shows me yet another that I have missed.
Thank God He's God and I'm not.