There is a comic song about trying to give up drink and pouring a case of whisky down the sink but drinking more out of each bottle and getting drunk. Can anyone help? I don't know who wrote or sang it. Possibly Scottish or Irish.

The song/monologue is called "The Tall Tale" written by Watt Nicoll. It has been recorded by Hamish Imlach on "Before and After" (XTRA 1059) issued 1967. Also on "The Hamish Imlach Sampler" (Transatlantic TRA SAM9)1969. See http://users.argonet.co.uk/users/gatherer/perf/singers1/ham.html for more Hamish Imlach LPs Hope this helps

I had twelve bottles of whiskey in my cellar, and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink - or else! So, I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, glasses and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine. To make sure I counted them again, when they came to seventy-four. And as the house came by, I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses and bottles and corks and sinks and glasses counted, except one house and one cork, which l drank.

I'm sure this has no relationship to the hoary old story about the two Irish gents who had an agreement that, whichever died first, the survivor would pour their auld jug of Tullamore Dew over the grave at the end of the service. When asked by the Monsignor to complete his part, the gent retorted, "Aye, Father; but would he ever mind if I strained it through me kidneys first?" There might be a song there somewhere....

I had twelve bottles of whiskey in my cellar and my wife made me empty the contents of each and every one down the sink, so I proceeded to do as my wife desired and withdrew the cork from the first bottle, poured the contents down the sink except for one glass which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass which I drank.

I extracted the cork from the third bottle, emptied the good old booze down the bottle, except a glass which I devoured.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, then threw the rest down the sink.

I pulled the sink out of the next cork and poured the bottle down my neck.

I pulled the next bottle out of my throat and poured the cork down the sink, all but the sink which I drank.

I pulled the next cork from my throat and poured the sink down the bottle and drank the cork.

Well, I had them all emptied and steadied the house with one hand and counted the bottles which were 24, so counted them again when they came around again and I had 74, and as the houses came around I counted them and finally I had all the houses and the bottles counted and I proceeded to wash the bottles, but couldn't get the brush in the bottles so I turned them inside out and wiped them all, and we went upstairs and told my other half all about what I did, and Oh Boy, I've got the wifest little nice in the world.