15 October 2014

Please excuse me while I lose it a moment.

This week has been a *bit discouraging*. I was finally starting to feel like things were going to get back to 'normal', only to then be told that they definitely are not and probably won't be for some time.

On Monday I had a doctor appointment, which I was expecting to be the celebratory "You might not be completely better, but you're all healed, so no need to come back!" appointment....It wasn't.

Turns out my pain and difficulty walking isn't in my head, and things haven't completely healed as they should. For some reason, my tendons and calf muscle have tightened and shortened as they've healed, to the point where they are now restricting my mobility. I'm missing the last 15 or so degrees of motion in my foot and ankle, which is causing me to still walk with a limp and putting more and more pressure on my left knee and right hip--at least that explains the random pain in those spots.

So I'm starting intense physio therapy, which I'll do for the next 3 months to see if I can lengthen and loosen those tendons and muscle naturally... there's about a 50/50 chance of that working. If not, it means more surgery, and everything else that comes with it. Possibly just in time for me to have to leave the country and come back on a different visa. On crutches. I think this whole experience might cure me of saying 'Go big or go home!'...

I knew I was having trouble walking, but I just assumed that it was normal. To be told it isn't and that it might require more surgery... well I'm incredibly frustrated.

Yesterday I worked for a few hours, which required me to walk about 3 times further and longer than I normally do. I was in tears by the time I walked home, which was just further evidence that my leg really isn't back to normal. I had to use my crutch again for the first time all month in order to go to Faith in God last night, and I had to take a vicodin for the pain so I could fall asleep. As a side note: God bless the makers of Vicodin.

The digression over the last week has been discouraging to say the least.
I'm SO. OVER. THIS. ...Only I'm not.

Of course, this morning I woke to a message from my dear friend, Leah, asking me how she could make my life easier this week. Her kindness was just the tender mercy
I needed to remind me that no matter what the next few months hold, I'm blessed to have incredible friends who will be here to help me. And it was the motivation I needed to get out of bed and do something kind for my housemates today. I'm grateful for Heavenly Father reminding me of His mercy through someone else's kindness today. It was exactly what I needed.

So, think of someone you can be kind to today, and then do it. It might just be exactly what s/he needs.