My Why…

“I look to the LORD for help at all times, and He rescues me from danger. Turn to me, LORD, and be merciful to me, because I am lonely and weak. Relieve me of my worries and save me from all my trouble” – Psalm 25:15-17

Lately, I can tell the enemy has been attacking my mind and the mind of other single mothers who have a heart sold out for God. It upsets me when the enemy tries to use my past against me like God can’t use me anymore, or that I am that same person that I used to be.

Therefore, I like to challenge the enemy with “my why”, because he knows just as much as I know where the Lord has brought me from:

“I look to the Lord for help at all times, and He rescues me from danger…”

The Lord is truly my Helper and Rescuer! He has been more than just my Provider and Protector. Before I had Abrielle there have been moments where I put myself in situations where I should be dead…but He rescued me. There have been nights where I could do nothing but cry, cry, and cry some more. And He heard, understood MY TEARS…and He helped. It hasn’t always been financial help. Sometimes it’s just been a Word that needed to be said to me. People haven’t always known the details of my situation and didn’t know they fulfilled an assignment of the Lord. But because of His faithfulness to me, I continually look to Him for help.

“Turn to me, Lord, and be merciful to me, because I am lonely and weak…”

Being lonely and weak is an understatement! Parenting alone can suck the life out of you at times. One day, I found myself locked inside my closet, paralyzed from being so tired, and crying uncontrollably. I wanted it all to go away. The clothes, the dishes, the bills, my work schedule. I didn’t think I would make it another day. I wanted to quit on life. Yes, you read that right…I wanted to quit. But somewhere, somehow, I was given an extra boost of strength to keep going after I cried that last tear.

“Relieve me of my worries and save me from all my troubles.”

Worry. I’ve worried if I would ever get married. I’ve worried about my sanity. I’ve worried about my ability to be a good mother. I’ve worried about being able to keep a roof over our head and food on the table. The worry doesn’t ever stop. But it has gotten easier everyday when God continues to show Himself faithful. I’ve been jobless and He has provided. I’ve been car-less and He has provided. I have been so desperate for love and He has been better to me than any man could be.

So when the enemy starts playing this mind game. Remember your why. Do not feel sorry for yourself because of how others view you. Praise God that this little light He’s given you is being noticed. Refuse to apologize for the love you have for God because He has truly saved you beyond human comprehension. Refuse to condemn yourself because Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world He came to save the world.