You know that thing when you’re touring a glitter factory while wearing flypaper harem pants and you fall into a glitter vat and have no time to change before performing on live TV. That’s EXACTLY what I think happened to our girl J.Lo last night before the show started. Otherwise, why?

Harem pants aren’t flattering on anyone. Yes, some people can pull them off and wear them inoffensively. But how often do you ever hear, “she looks mad sexy in those baggy crotch harem pants!” Never. Because a low-hanging crotch doesn’t exude sexiness and chicness and whatever -ness a woman might be aiming for when she wears clothing. It just gives you this vague diaper look. And in J.Lo’s case, a sparkly diaper look.

And to add insult to injury to herself, she topped the outfit off with a bedazzled bra. It’s meh. Like it doesn’t not flatter her body, but it doesn’t flatter her body. You know what I’m saying. And it’s a shame because she actually has an awesome body considering her age and the fact she gave birth to twins.

But I think she could find a better way to show it off. A way that involves less glitter and more-fitted crotch. And trust me, I rarely recommend that anyone wear a more-fitted crotch, so you know I really mean it.