The Situation Is an Author Now

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s book will be in book stores on November 2nd, but for those of you who want a head start on the sure-to-be challenging 133 pages, Jezebel published some excerpts yesterday.

No matter what T-shirt you select, whether it’s fitted, graphic, sequined, bedazzled, crew-neck, deep-V, wifebeater, or what-have-you, it’s about being proud of who you are. If you want to bust out a deep-V that’s safety-cone orange because you think that’s your color, then wear the hell out of that fruity shirt so everybody in the club knows that nobody owns it like you do. Set the trends, don’t follow them. I wear what makes me feel good because I’m at the tip of the spear—the cutting edge of fashion that’s fresh to death.

Frankly, I love that “T-shirt” is the only possible option for torso coverage in his sartorial dictionary. Apparently there’s no word for “collar” in Guido-ese. “Yo, the invitation said ‘Black Tie Only’, so me and my boys broke out our finest black Armani Exchange fitted T’s.”

WHAT’S GOING ON? I DON’T WANT TO BUY THIS BOOK! IT’S LIKE MY HERITAGE IS COMPELLING ME AGAINST MY WILL!

“HEY! I’M WALKING HERE!”

AAAAHHHHHH! WHO SAID THAT? HELP!

By: Upstate Underdog

10.21.2010 @ 2:59 PM

“I’m at the tip of the spear”

More like the tip of the douche nozzle.

By: chazz_goodtimes

10.21.2010 @ 3:01 PM

I’m at the tip of the spear

God willing he will be as soon possible.

By: Aeyo's Cot

10.21.2010 @ 3:15 PM

The man does have a point (on his head)

By: Josh

10.21.2010 @ 3:16 PM

@DG: My guess is 100% tan. Her actual chemical makeup was 100% tan.

By: Kid Presentable

10.21.2010 @ 3:19 PM

Who’s in charge of reading this to Snooki?

By: Enrico Pallazzo

10.21.2010 @ 3:21 PM

Looks like I’ve officially begun a Christmas list!

By: Tim Was Tim

10.21.2010 @ 3:57 PM

I thought this was going to be about the time his parents went away on a week’s vacation.

By: Rich

10.21.2010 @ 4:31 PM

Meanwhile, Chris Millis “forgot” to open his garage door after he started his car this morning.

By: Low-Hanging Fruit

10.21.2010 @ 4:56 PM

So, yeah, this is gonna seem gay…but whenever I see this tool on the net, he’s always flashing his abs. But they’re not even that great, compared to the dudes seen on the covers of muscle mags at the grocery store…so why the hell is he always pulling his shirt up, showing off his midsection?

Yep, looking back over this post, I think that I do indeed have repressed homosexual tendencies.

By: flaccidplatypus

10.21.2010 @ 5:05 PM

i heard the situation is going to guess star on “the event”. at the end of the episode his only line of dialog is “looks like this event just turned into a situation”….i’ll show myself out

By: Kid Presentable

10.21.2010 @ 5:41 PM

Early reviews pan the book’s thesis as “unoriginal and far too oblique”.