Can you believe the season finale of Downton Abbey is this Sunday? This is a legitimate tragedy, as far as I'm concerned, because it seems like it JUST premiered. In fact, let me check -- yes, the first episode of season three aired in the U.S. on January 6th. Nine episodes isn't nearly enough, PBS. You know how many shows aired the last season of Two and a Half Men? Twenty-four. TWENTY FOUR EPISODES OF THAT TELEVISED CAT TURD.

Life is deeply unfair.

Anyway, with the last show of the season nearly upon us -- the episode known as the "Christmas Special" when it aired last year in the U.K. -- it seems like a good time to revisit some of the best quotes from season 3. You can easily find all kinds of spoilers for the finale, but why do that to yourself? Instead, let's marvel over some of the snarkiest, most heartbreaking, most downright memorable lines we've heard this season on Downton Abbey.

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(Oh, and warning: spoilers ahead! Don't read if you're not caught up with season 3.)

I'm so sorry, I thought you were a waiter. (to Lord Grantham, who was wearing black tie instead of white tie) -- Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham

Anyone who has use of their limbs can make a salmon mousse! -- Mrs. Patmore

Edith dear, you're a woman with a brain and reasonability. Stop whining and find something to do. -- Countess

Countess: I’m so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I’m with her, I’m reminded of the virtues of the English.Matthew: But isn’t she American?Countess: Exactly.

Martha Levinson: Oh dear, I’m afraid the war has made old women of us both.Countess: I wouldn’t say that, but then I always keep out of the sun.

Sybil, vulgarity is no substitute for wit. -- Countess

Daisy: You've still kept me here with a dishonest representation!Mrs. Patmore: Oh dear, have you swallowed a dictionary?

My dear, when tragedies strike, we try to find someone to blame. And in the absence of a suitable candidate, we usually blame ourselves. You are not to blame. No one is to blame. Our darling Sybil has died during childbirth, like too many women before her, and all we can do now is cherish her memory, and her child. -- Countess

… since this is the last time we three will all be together in this life, let's love each other now, as sisters should. -- Mary

In my life I can tell you not many have been kind to me. She was one of the few. -- Thomas

Cora: You believed Tapsil because he's knighted and fashionable and has a practice in Harley Street. You let all that nonsense weigh against saving our daughter's life, which is what I find so very hard to forgive.Robert: Do you think I miss her any less than you?Cora: I should think you miss her more, since you blocked the last chance we had to prevent her death.

Is it over? When one loses a child, is it ever really over? -- Cora

"Lie" is so unmusical a word. -- Countess

I don't want thumbscrews or the rack, but there always seems to be something Johnny Foreigner about the Catholics. -- Lord Grantham

Miss O'Brien, we are about to hire a footman, and I have no time to be training hobbledeehoys. -- Mr. Carson

I've never been called a liberal in my life and I don't intend to start now! -- Mr. Carson

I'm not foul, Mr. Carson. I'm not the same as you, but I'm not foul. -- Thomas