The Williams Record

One in 2000

When Frank Pagliaro ’14 was chosen as One in 2000 this week, I knew immediately that I would need to interview him. Despite knowing him well, I had heard rumors about some of Frank’s “quirks” and was very interested to find out more about these peculiarities. As he sat down at the table with his third glass of milk, I knew that Frank and I were sure to have a lot to talk about.

So, I see you like milk?

Milk and I have a very beautiful relationship. I have always loved milk, since the day that I was born I assume. I love milk. [I have a] great relationship with my mom, the mascot of the college I chose is a cow … I don’t know, maybe there is some oedipal breast thing going on.

Tell me, exactly how much milk are we talking?

I drink between six and seven glasses of milk a day. And I don’t discriminate between skim, 1 percent, 2 percent, chocolate. I accept all milk. Except I don’t accept almond milk, soy milk, rice milk. That is all blasphemy.

Aside from drinking milk, what else do you do on campus?

I think I’m a little too busy. I’m very involved in theater at Williams, mostly student theater. I’m the secretary of Cap and Bells. I’m in Combo Za, which is our improv group. Which is a lot of fun. We’ve gotten a lot of support for our shows this year. I am an editor of the Williams Telos, which is our Christian magazine on campus, and I am on the board of the Newman Society, the Williams Catholic club.

That does seem like a lot. I have actually seen pictures for your upcoming Combo Za show. Who are you in the Combo Za family?

Not true. I always want to hear your voice.

Oh, thanks.

I have heard rumors that you have an interesting selection of music for while you do homework …

Well, it depends on my mood. My top played stuff on my iTunes is all jazz because I play that while I’m doing my homework. But if I’m doing my reading for my Irish revivals class, I’ll turn on my traditional Irish sessional music. I have a CD.

Of course you do.

People will walk into my room and it’s like an upbeat Irish jig and people are like, “What are you listening to?” But I really like it.

Your room must really reflect who you are then. Do you have any special decorations?

I think my room has a lot of character. I hate empty space; I hate looking at an empty wall. It is a little excessive right now. I have all my posters: My Sopranos poster, Yankees; I have a Led Zeppelin one, my Godfather poster, my Abbey Road poster. I have a poster of the declaration of the Irish Republic, which is so badass. It’s the coolest poster I own.

Wow, is that it?

Of course I have a picture of Derek Jeter in my room.

Do you kiss it at night?

Yes, yes I do.

And I know you’ve got Frosh Revue up there.

I have both of our posters for Frosh Revue up in my room, actually one of them is right near my bed and it’s the one where all of us are pointing so it’s like, I go to sleep and everyone is pointing at me. It’s really scary. And I have one of the posters from this year’s Frosh Revue. And I have a six-foot cardboard cutout of Ronald Reagan in my room.

Oh, wow. I didn’t see that coming.

And he is wearing a Derek Jeter jersey, because I like to pretend that Dutch was a Yankees fan. And actually my birthday party at the beginning of the year was triple-themed, and one of the three themes was Ronald Reagan. I brought Dutch over there, and he suffered some major damage at the party.

I’m sure he did. Where did you get something like that?

I actually knew from the beginning of the summer that I just needed a six-foot cardboard cutout of Ronald Reagan.

You just knew?

I just knew, it came to me in a dream and he said, “I need to be in the room with you at all times.” So my mom actually bought it for me as an early birthday present.

But it’s so scary. I don’t know any normal person, whether or not you like Hillary Clinton, who would actually enjoy this doll. So I just keep her in my desk drawer out of sight. Billy knows the code to my room so he’ll come in when I’m not there and take her out and put her on my pillow, and I’ll come in and be like, “Oh my God! Hillary? What are you doing?! Get back in there right now!”

Wow. That’s terrifying.

So when Ronald came, I got Billy’s code and I put the six-foot Ronald Regan right behind the door, and Billy opened the door. I was lucky enough to be there when he got in, and he screamed “Oh s***!” And he grabbed Ronald by the shoulders and tossed him out of the room and slammed the door and refused to open it. It was so perfect! He was so mad.

It seems like Reagan’s proven to be quite the companion.

I’ve gotten some good mileage out of Dutch, for sure. If I ever need to go to lunch alone, I’ll just bring him and have him sit next to me. Read the paper. Oh, Dutch.