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To make a character real, they need to mirror the reality that we experience. This is a challenge, because the world each person lives in is highly individual and deeply diverse. As a psychologist, working with people affected by mental health diagnoses is what makes my job so challenging and yet so rewarding. As a reader and an editor, I love to read characters living with these backgrounds. I love it because I learn something new every time. But when it isn’t captured authentically, if the character is the stereotypical depressed mother who can’t get out of bed, or maybe even absent, then I wish they knew the following:

It’s Everywhere

About 1 in 5 adults will experience a mental illness at some stage of their lives. Mental health issues can affect anyone, irrespective of gender, race, culture or socioeconomic background. If you haven’t experienced mental health challenges yourself, then someone you know and love has.

As a writer, this means it wouldn’t be uncommon to find a character dealing with something similar in your book. It can be your protagonist dealing with anxiety, your villain having a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, or your hero’s mother suffering from Munchausen’s by Proxy. In fact, because of its prevalence, the inclusion of some sort of mental health challenges for a character in your book will lend your story authenticity.

Stigma is Alive and Well

We’ve all read the articles or seen the Facebook clips, heck, I personally advocate the message that mental illness are legitimate as a physical illness; they can be chronic, debilitating, and treatable.

But the reality is that gender equality, acceptance of diverse sexual orientations, and equal opportunity for those living with disabilities has been something people have been fighting for a long time, and we’re not quite there yet. Mental health stigma is a very real experience for many sufferers of mental illness, but what amplifies these adverse effects is the internalising of mental health stigma.

The belief that there is something fundamentally flawed with you because you aren’t able to ‘snap out’ of it tends to be incorporated into a person’s self-concept. It can be a barrier to help-seeking and treatment and can undermine your self-esteem. If you have a character with a mental health diagnosis, then be cognizant that it’s hard to feel good about yourself when you’re fighting a pain no one can see.

Each diagnosis is a snowflake

The diversity within any single mental health condition is significant, and every writer needs to be cognisant of this. A label such as obsessive compulsive disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is going to give you a broad understanding of what you’re going to see in your character. But what that looks like for your particular person on the page is going to be a nuanced product of their history, biology, and social context.

It’s considering each of these variables; the interaction of their psychology with the environment that has moulded them (and will continue to do so), is how you’ll move away from stereotypes and two-dimensional characters.

Mental Health is a Roller-Coaster

If you have a character living with a mental health condition, then the usual ups and downs that life likes to pitch at you are going to be amplified. Your key refusing to slot into the keyhole of your front door can feel like the last, fragile straw that breaks you; whilst a smile from a stranger can be enough to bolster your plummeting self-esteem.

Mental health conditions take what our brain does in its everyday life (feel worried about something that could happen, feel sad at the prospect of tomorrow, believe that our workmate doesn’t like us) and dials it up. The emotions are stronger, the thoughts are more powerful, and the urges they provoke are harder to resist. This can vary from the desire to eat an entire New York Cheesecake to desperately needing to control your world to plotting a way to end the prime-minister’s new immigration policy.

Incorporating these challenges authentically can be tricky as some of the choices these characters make can be difficult to understand. Understanding the emotional and cognitive foundation of your character’s mental illness is essential.

Great Characters do Great Things

For all their challenges, mental health diagnoses are a painful opportunity to discover some amazing things about ourselves. The darkness they bring only makes the light brighter. People that live with mental illness need to learn to be flexible, self-aware and resilient, and if that doesn’t capture a character arc, I don’t know what does. If you drag a character into some deep wells of sadness, fear, or disillusionment, then you’ve just created a moving contrast for the heights that humanity can reach for. What’s more, these challenges (like any) are a wonderful way to explore the power of connection. There are supports out there. There are people passionate about helping. So remember, capturing the hardships of mental illness is only the half the picture. It’s the stories of human triumph over adversity that is the other side of the mental health label.

What’s your thoughts? Do you have a character with a mental illness? How did you make sure they were authentic and realistic?

Personality disorders are fascinating–many are comparatively rare and they all lead to some pretty unreasonable and difficult to understand behaviours…which kind of makes them ideal for writers! Personality disorders capture the extremeness that our complex mix of nature and nurture can create—encapsulating that on a page is a challenge, but also exciting. If you’re looking for an extreme character, they can be your antagonist, your protagonist’s parent (and the source of their wound) or if you’re feeling really game—your hero, personality disorders are a goldmine! No matter which character, they will lend a layer of difference and interest to your story.

It’s doing it authentically that’s the key.

Today we’re delving into Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD). DPD is characterised by a pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of by others. This leads to submissive and clinging behaviour and fears of separation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts (imagine the anxious toddler who fears separation and you’re getting the idea). The following characteristics are what you’ll see in a person with DPD:

Has difficulty making everyday decisions

These characters struggle to make everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others (e.g., what colour shirt to wear to work or whether to carry an umbrella). They will tend to be submissive and let others (often a single person—generally a parent or a spouse) assume responsibility for most major areas of their lives. Adults with this disorder typically need others to decide where they should live, what kind of job they should have, and which neighbours to befriend. With all these challenges, it’s not surprising that individuals with DPD struggle to function in the workplace, particularly if independent initiative is required. They may avoid positions of responsibility and become anxious when faced with decisions. Adolescents with this disorder may allow their parent/s to decide what they should wear, with whom they should associate, how they should spend their free time, and what school or college they should attend.

This need for others to assume responsibility goes beyond age-appropriate and situation-appropriate requests for assistance from others (e.g., the specific needs of children, elderly persons, and persons with a disability). DPD can occur in an individual who has a serious medical condition or disability (in fact, chronic physical illness can predispose a person to DPD), but in such cases the difficulty in taking responsibility must go beyond what would normally be associated with that condition or disability.

Has difficulty disagreeing with others

Because a person with DPD has a powerful need for support and care (even overprotection and dominance), they will fear the loss of supporter approval. They will often have difficulty expressing disagreement with other individuals, particularly those on whom they are dependent. These individuals feel so unable to function alone that they will agree with things that they feel are wrong rather than risk alienating their carer. They don’t get appropriately angry at others whose support and nurturance they need for fear of alienating them.

This means your character will be willing to submit to what others want, even if the demands are unreasonable. This places them at risk of abuse, as their need to maintain an important bond often results in an imbalanced relationship. They may make extraordinary self-sacrifices or tolerate verbal, physical, or sexual abuse. It’s important to note that if the individual’s concerns regarding expressing disagreement need to be realistic (e.g., realistic fears of retribution from an abusive spouse – this behaviour would not be considered evidence of DPD).

Has difficulty doing things on his or her own

A character presenting with DPD is unlikely to do anything independently because of a deep-seated lack of self-confidence in their judgment or abilities (as opposed to a lack of motivation or energy). Individuals with this disorder feel uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of this exaggerated fear of being unable to care for themselves. Your character will wait for others to start things because they believe others can ‘do it better.’ Only if you give them the assurance that someone else is supervising or approving, are they likely to function adequately.

Goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others

These characters will proactively foster their dependence and elicit caregiving due to their self-perception that they are unable to function adequately without the help of others (as opposed to being unable due to age or disability). Many of us have done this one some level—pretended we were incompetent so someone else did something for us (that’s how I got my husband to make mashed potato every time we had it). People with DPD dial this up, and perceive that they are genuinely incapable. They may fear appearing more competent, because they may believe that this will lead to abandonment. To add another layer of complexity, because they rely on others to handle their problems, they often don’t learn the skills of independent living (thankfully, I already knew how to make mashed potato), thus perpetuating dependency.

The prospect of being alone is frightening

Individuals with this disorder are often preoccupied with fears of being left to care for themselves. They see themselves as so totally dependent on the advice and help of someone else that they worry about being abandoned by that person when there are no grounds to justify such fears.

If a close relationship ends (e.g., a breakup with a lover or the death of a caregiver), your character may urgently seek another relationship to provide the care and support they need. Their belief that they are unable to function in the absence of a close relationship motivates these individuals to become quickly and indiscriminately attached to another individual (and yes, that is risky and yes, it does leave them vulnerable).

Negative Self-Talk

Individuals with DPD are often characterized by pessimism and self-doubt; they tend to belittle their abilities and assets, and may constantly refer to them­selves as ‘stupid.’ Your character will take criticism and disapproval as proof of their worthlessness. If they are involved in an abusive or unequal relationship, then their partner is likely to reinforce these beliefs.

Told you it was interesting! Weaving a character with DPD will be a challenge, particularly if you’re looking for a reader to empathise with them (their neediness makes them highly egocentric), but also a fascinating opportunity to capture how disordered our thinking can become.

Recognizing that simply talking makes a significant impact in breaking down the stigma attached to mental health, Bell’s campaign encourages people to “start the conversation” about mental health with friends, family and co-workers. For every text message and long distance call made by Bell customers that day, Bell will contribute 5 cents to programs dedicated to mental health.

Callsen is donating a portion of the proceeds from the sale of I Am Normal … If You’re Bipolar to Mental Health non-profit organizations.

Canadian author Terri Callsen published by First Edition Design Publishing

“I’m excited about this book! I know it’s going to help so many,” Callsen said.

I Am Normal … If You’re Bipolar is a self-help book aimed at those who have friends or family who suffer from depression. It explains why they are the way they are. The ebook includes quick facts, what symptoms to look for and explanations for the expressive behaviors of those affected.