Saturday, February 4, 2012

Where to live?

It's amazing how hyperemesis can wind up effecting your life in ways that you would never have considered. I am no longer pregnant/not yet pregnant again, and yet I find myself planning my life around my next pregnancy. I am gaining a few extra kilo, I am planning ways of arranging the house, thinking ahead to what special toys/games/treats I can have on hand for an active toddler on my bad days.

And I'm choosing a place to live. The city we live in now is not one that we particularly care for, but it is right next to the university where I learned and where N. is finishing up his degree at this year. We are living here out of convenience, and already from the beginning of our marriage we agreed that this wasn't long-term and we would move away as soon as his degree was finished.

We wanted to move to a small community (100-500 families small), and even researched several different options. We are limited by several factors such as cost, public transportation (can't afford a car), availability, etc. And then it hit me: we're planning on having more kids. This means that I'm planning to be pregnant, and that in turn means that we need to live near a hospital so that when I get dehydrated I can get the help I need without an hour's nauseating drive into the city.

Now our options are very limited, especially given that Israel doesn't exactly have hospitals on every street corner. Heck, not even every city has one. So suddenly, instead of looking at small communities like we wanted, we are back to looking at cities or smaller towns that are next to a big city.

While I am a city girl by birth, I really like the idea of a smaller setting to raise my children in. There are many bad things that come with living in a city. Unfortunately, they are also very convenient in many ways and offer by far the better medical care.

It is very frustrating that the HG rules our lives so much that it is now dictating where we can and cannot live. How is that fair? Why can't I have my dream place to live and also my dream of having more than one child? Why do I have to give up one for the other? Obviously children will always come first, no matter what the decision is, but I can always wish for the other.

I never would have thought the HG would dominate my life to this extent. It seems as if I will never be free of it and its long-reaching effects.