My husband and I are young. Well we are not kids, but we are just at the opportune age where everyone is constantly asking us if we plan on having children. Keep in mind, we just got married and people don’t realize how often (almost daily) we are asked this. If I’m seen holding someone else’s child I get comments like “That looks so natural on you!” Like I need one for an accessory or something. It’s tough. The answer to the question is, I don’t know. If it were the 40’s or 50’s, absolutely yes. But the world today is tough and the thought of raising a child in it (especially without having a wealthy as all get out income) scares the bejeesus out of us! One minute, we are ogling over a cute kid. And the next, we hear a kid throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a grocery store that needs spanked and we say “Nope! We are not having kids!” Sure at times I feel, my kid would never act up. But the truth is, you can’t pre determine how your child’s temperament will be when it’s born! It just happens and you have to mold them into the right type of person. That’s scary. The world sucks right now! There is too much corruption. But at the same time, it’s hard to say no to the idea. I always thought I’d have kids. Now, I just don’t know. After years of trying to decide yes or no… I still am in limbo on the issue. I may never be able to decide until it’s too late or it happens on accident (which is highly unlikely when on birth control). What’s a girl to do? What are we to do about this? We just.. don’t know.

Apparently if you are under 40 and haven’t had children, you get asked this a lot. Thanks for pointing out that I’m at a child bearing age people! We both know that the biological clock is ticking! There is a wealth of information out there that tells us this. We both had sex ed when we were younger and we both paid attention. We both want to make the right decision. But if we are not sure yet, I don’t think that we should be rushing into it.

I love kids. And it’s the absolute cutest thing ever watching him around children. He is great with them. We are both kids at heart. But we are also young enough with few enough ties to possibly be able to travel more. We want to see the world, go to concerts, be in concerts, and go on journeys! It’s hard enough to afford that and make time for it as it is. Let alone if we add a child.

But what if we wait until it’s too late? That’s the question.

We hate where we live and are only here because our family members rely on us so much. But is that fair? Would it be selfish to move away? If we have a child, we may never get to leave this place. We already feel stuck here as it is. If we have a kid, my family is the type that will guilt us to our death about leaving and taking their grandbabies etc away from them. That’s just how they are. They expect us to want to stay as our civic duty I guess.

I just want to have a baby, skip the whole awkward raising and growing up part, and then have grandchildren to tell stories of my travels to! Perhaps we should get a monkey (an adopted and rescued one, I’m not ok with trading endangered animals and taking them from their habitat) now so we don’t have to put it through college and then just adopt an 18 year old when we are elderly. Yep. we are lost on this issue and don’t know what to do.

So I’ll ask this again, are we in folly for waiting or are we doing the right thing?

I hereby vow to no longer give any fucks. Not even one. I deserve better. And if you give a fuck, you should stop doing so as well. And here’s why.

You deserve better too. The world is our fucking home. Do you want people spreading their fucks all over your fucking house with no permission? Well I sure don’t! That’s how fucking disease spreads. So don’t fuck fucking strangers with all your fucks you are giving all over our humble abode please! I am stopping, so if you want to pay if forward and stop giving a fuck as well, that would be great. Take the pledge with me!

I am so excited to offer this challenge to you. The world is our fucking oyster. Let’s fucking own it!

I repeat, take the pledge with me!!!! “I ___(insert name________, hereby vow to stop giving so many fucks.”

So… please excuse my fucking language. But after this post, no more fucks will ever be given. So I’m getting all my fucks out while I can for fucks sake! Lets fucking live! And just to be square on this, I am not sorry if this post offends anyone. Because, dang it, I have a fucking point to make.

As you could probably tell from my last damn post, I have been under an immense amount of stress… So much damn stress, that it has broken me to a wonderful point in my life where I have realized that I somehow forgot to look at the big fucking picture and that needs to change.

I was stressed about my fucking wedding. But the day is not about making everyone else fucking happy or planning the perfect fucking event to impress relatives and friends. It’s about my fiance and I. And it’s about the fucking fact that I am marrying my soul mate. My fucking soul mate! And while I still have lots to do, I am no longer going to let stress get in the way. Period. Fuck it.

I am tired of the fucking panic attacks over spilled milk, and I am tired of fucking caring so much. Why do I care? What’s the fucking point?

Hahaha I hope this post doesn’t get fucking deleted. Don’t be fucking but hurt. Just don’t give a fuck and take this post as what it is meant to be. Humor!

Let’s spread love not fucks. You don’t have to mind fuck everyone!

And I am guilty of over sharing my fucks lately. I have been giving several fucks about everything that I possibly fucking can! But no more! It is never too late for change.

In fact, unintentionally, I believe I’ve given so many fucks out to people like candy (no not in a sexual way) I have been fucking making other people just as stressed as I have been. I have been fucking stressed over the wedding planning, my mother in the hospital, my job, my finances, my car, my house, my animals…anything I could come up with in my head to continue my fucking fuck giving parade. It’s time to slow down and fucking chill the fuck out.

Tabula la rosé… Blank slate bitches!!!!

And I don’t want to be an energy vampire (Someone who pushes their problems on others to the point where they drain them of their positive energy)! There’s enough pain in the world as it is. I’m not here on earth to fucking add to it. I do not want to be that person! So it’s time to check my self before I wreck myself. And if you give several fucks like I’ve been doing and have no desire to stop being like that. Get over your fucking self and stop being an an energy vampire yourself. Take a lesson from this article that you are reading. You are not helping yourself or others by wallowing in your own pitty fucking party. Say fuck it and throw your fucks to the fucking wind. I have realized this. So fuck it. I no longer will give a fuck. I repeat, I Copper Sparkles, Will no longer give a fuck.

Rid the world of fucks given, make the world a better fucking place.

In the reality of existence, to the earth, to the stars, to the sky, to the moons, to the sun, to the cosmos, and the galixies, you are only a tiny spec. You are not that important. How stressed you are will never leave a legacy. It’s the things in life like who you were as a person, and the relationships you had that will matter.. These small things you are stressing over, take a look at them. Take a look at your size, then take a look at the size of the universe, and you will realize that your problems weren’t that big after all.

This is you and your fucks that you have been giving for fuck sake –> .

Now I don’t mean to say that I won’t ever worry again. I’m a fucking human and a female at that! Aunt Flow will always come once a month to kick me in the serotonin receptor and remind me that Eve was a metaphorical greedy ass bitch. I fucking worry.

But I will no longer give a fuck about my emotions. I will recognize them as what they are, emotions. and I have the choice whether or not I let them effect me. Good bye expectations (set on myself by me or others….goodbye fears, and good riddance to trying to make other people happy while causing myself pain or living in the past! Fuck that.

Fucks are like weeds to your brain. Say this mantra with me “I will no longer give a fuck” and kill those fucking weeds that are clouding your judgement and preventing that beautiful garden that is happiness from growing and nourishing the world! Instead of growing your fuck garden, grow a garden of flowers and love. And instead of populating the world with weeds, populate the world with flowers. With love.

Stop giving a fucks like a mental prostitution ring is taking place in your damn brain! Snap out of it! Life is too short.

So there you have it.

I Copper Ann Sparkles hereby vow to no longer give so many fucks.

Signed: Copper Sparkles Date: 8.3.2016

#FuckIt #Fuckitol

Ps. Need a muse? Let me tell you the story of the bird (If you have already heard this story, then good for you but I just heard it yesterday so I want to share).

So there’s this bird in this tree, just minding it’s fucking business. Just fucking chirping away… “chirp chirp chirp chirp!!!”

And one guy sits down on the bench sitting underneath the tree for shade. The bird continues to chirp.

“Chirp Chirp Chirp chirp!”

The guy gets super fucking annoyed. And he says “shut up you fucking annoying bird!” He throws a rock at it. He yells at it…rolls his eyes…. But it doesn’t matter, the bird continues to chirp. So the guy gets annoyed and he leaves.

The bird doesn’t care though. The bird says to his other bird friend. “I’m a bird. I’m just doing what I do. I’m singing.”

Along comes another guy. He sits on the bench, he opens his book up and begins to read. And here the noise comes a gain. The bird starts it’s thing.

“Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp!

But this guy looks up at the bird, smiles, and says “What a beautiful noise this bird is making.” He is grateful for the beautiful noises of the bird and is happy to hear the bird’s fucking singing! He just simply ignores the bird.

But the bird still doesn’t fucking care. Do you think the bird feels any different because it is now being accepted by a human? No it just continues what it’s doing.

“Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp.”

Again says the bird to it’s bird friend,

“I’m a bird. I’m just doing what I do, I’m singing.”

Do what you do weather it’s chirping, singing, writing, drawing, comedy, sign language, fucking cursing insessantly, watching fart videos, underwater fucking basket weaving, I don’t fucking care. Just do what you do and live your life fearlessly.

Do you think I’m here to tell you to say bon #voyage to foods that you see on your TV screen! Well let’s not be too extremist! How about lets say “Do your best to say bon voyage to unhealthy foods, primarily the ones you see on TV.”

Can you think of a television commercial that named their brand of food that was actually a 100% healthy food? If so, I hate to tell you but you may be wrong. Unfortunately, I’d like to say that America’s food and drug administration really has their shiz together on making sure their citizens eat healthy! But did you know that America is ranked #37 in world health systems. I can’t think of one product, even out of the ones who claim to be healthy that is on the tube that lives up to the standards they claim.

In fact, I have thought long and hard about this and I can’t name one single TV commercial food that didn’t contain preservatives, MSG, high fructose corn syrup, horrible PH balances, high acidity, yellow dye, high amounts of sodium, palm oil, insane amounts of gluten etc…. but we live in a country where we are almost brainwashed to think these products are good for us.

Have you ever heard the saying “Think for yourself question authority?” TV commercials are a great place to start. Our parents may have tried to keep us on a healthy diet, yet due to, quite frankly, a lack of knowledge, and being a product of the food we tried around us, we have become addicted.

Now I know some of these chemical’s/ additives I may have mentioned above may sound like a foreign language to you. And that is ok. We are never too lost to learn to start fresh. One good way to start fresh is to eat fresh picked fruits and vegetables! For me, this was all new to me at one point in my life as well. In fact, eating healthy is not an innate skill and I grew up without the education I should have gotten in America on this, so I am still learning and you can still learn to eat healthy too!

You will be glad you did when you start avoiding these chemicals in the foods that are bad for you (one at a time, no one is perfect) and you start feeling progressively better. You will have more energy, lose weight faster, and feel more aware and in less of a fog! You can do it! Having problems? Send me a message and I’ll encourage you! It’s not about being perfect! It’s about being aware and trying your best to be the best you that you can be! Purify your body! Purify your mind!

I may never be able to give up my comfort foods 100% but I can eat much better by learning to read labels. I know what I’m eating and now I know how to limit the things my brain and body just don’t need to consume!

Now don’t get me wrong, I grew up eating frozen pizza, ice cream, pop (or as some of you who aren’t country lol might call it soda), fast food, and takeout just like most Americans did. And I’m not perfect! I still treat myself sometimes! Someteims more than I should. But I have made improvement. And that’s something to be proud of! For instance, here is a list of a few things I may never be able to give up: velveeta shells and cheese, frozen burritos, tostino’s pizza rolls… lol This is what you call being a victim of ‪#‎AmericanPrivilege‬

Be careful what you put in your body! Thanks for reading! Much love. And Namaste.

Ps,

One more piece of advice. If you see something on a commercial, they are not out for your greater good or making you more full or healthy, they are out for your money. That is the primary goal of a corporation is it not?!

This just in! I’m ready to start the next chapter in my life. I want to have a kid! But not yet… I have went through phases throughout the last couple of years. Some days, I would see my friends with their cute kids supporting them while they were on stage in their cute little band manager onesies or doing something cute in a video I saw on facebook and think I want one. Then I would also have days where I would be in store or somewhere public and someone’s kid would be acting up and annoy the heck out of me. And I would think, now way! I do not want a kid. The same goes with my fi. We could not decide. And I have finally made sense in my head of why we have been in such a wishy washy phase.

It’s bad timing!

Neither of us want to live here in the area where we are forever. And we are not at a point in life where we can leave yet. We are super excited to be getting married and making revolutions in life like having a child. But we can’t have one now! Not while we are here! We would never get to leave. We need to wait. And while I’ am a little scared and it may be risky, it will happen when the time is right. We may be on the road…we may be living in another city or even state, but we will be happy where we are. We will not be here. If we had a child and then left, the family would be devastated. However if we had one while we were already gone, it would be much less saddening to them. Just something I have cried over before. But now I feel better.

When I wake up in the morning, pensive. I get lost in thought about my dreams. I am a very lucid dreamer. Sometimes my dreams leave me waking up questioning life. I start to get ready, pensive. What am I going to eat for breakfast, what’s the nutritional value of this, will I make it through the day? Can I remain positive? I’m going to need more coffee! Pensive.

When I get to work, pensive. I wonder why I’ve seen three turtles this morning? What is the symbolism of the turtle? Slow and steady wins the race? Well it is Thursday. And it has been a long week. Just keep swimming…I can make it to the weekend. What will this weekend hold?! Probably a few more days of me being pensive.

I go home from work, you guessed it, pensive. I have so much to do. But I worked all day. What should I watch on Netflix? Will I ever get up and do some household chores? I wonder when my headache will go away. I’ve had headaches for a long time. How weird, I wonder why. I wonder where I will be in ten years. Probably still pensive.

And then after thinking and remaining so busy all day, when it comes to night time…pensive?

No I crash!

And then it starts all over again.

When I wake up in the morning, pensive. I first get lost in thought about my dreams as I’ve almost slept through my alarm this morning. I heard the alarm in my dream and thought I was up and getting ready trying to turn off the noise in real life! But I was asleep. I start to get ready, pensive. What am I going to eat for breakfast, what’s the nutritional value of this, will I make it through the day? Can I remain positive? I’m going to need more coffee! Pensive.

When I get to work, pensive. I wonder why I’ve seen four bluebirds this morning? Who am I? Snow White?! Some just call this pale. What is the symbolism of the bluebird? Happiness is on it’s way? Well it is Friday! And it has been a long week. Just keep flying…I can make it to 6pm when I clock out and enjoy my freedom. What will this weekend hold?! I’m sure yet again, it will be a few more days of me being pensive.

I go home from work, you guessed it, pensive. I have so much to do. But I worked all day. My guitar and I have a date. What all will I actually do with all this freedom? I have waited all week and have so much fun to be had! I can sleep in! What songs do I want to work on this evening before the gig. I can’t wait until the big wedding day but I have so much planning to do. How will I decorate? I don’t even have my dress yet! I wonder where we will be in ten years. I have a whole bag of wine in my refrigerator!

And then after thinking and remaining so busy all day, when it comes to night time…pensive?