Thursday, December 5, 2013

Advice: Never assume your coworkers have seen a commercial just because you've seen the commercial a thousand times.

I like those Lord of the Rings movies about as much as I like Bette Midler. Well, the first one wasn't that bad, but the second two went and ruined it. And these new Hobbit movies have me very confused. I'm too annoyed to google if these last two have anything to do with the book(s), though having never read the book(s), I'm not sure if googling would make anything more clear for me. I'd probably just get more annoyed. They seem horrible from the trailers. Loaded with cartoonish computer animation and packed with cartoonish action. And their names are strange - The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. I'm assuming that anyone who goes to the theater to see these things just says "One ticket for The Hobbit."

Then there's the Denny's restaurant thing. I've seen a ton of commercials for the Hobbit Menu at Denny's. And it looks dreadful, and sloppy. Like if it looks sloppy in the commercial, imagine how it looks in an actual Denny's.

So I assume the world has seen these commercials (and feels the same way about them as I do) and I make a point to walk up to my coworkers and say "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you....how's that Hobbit menu at Denny's? Is it any good?" And I expect much laughing and high-fiving, but without fail, my well-tuned joke is met with confusion and the same question: "What are you talking about?"

So then one of my coworkers yells over "Must be the channels YOU'RE watching!" and someone else yells "I bet he's watching the SyFy Channel!"

I actually like the Lord of the Rings. A nice blend of CGI and excellent practical fx and makeup. But I agree - the Hobbit movies are dreadful. Besides, how the hell does ones take a single, not very long book, and turn it into three two hour movies. Ridiculous.

Your coworkers should know better than to mock a man who makes monsters. I have a zombie bride that I took to my college and put her on the elevator, I got some good scares and a lot of laughs out of that.One of your corpses in a bathroom stall and some low lighting should do it. lol