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Saturday, June 30, 2012

In Response to Comments on Feminism

There have been some comments on my post about children's movies and the messages they send which have shown me that I wasn't clear enough about some things I wrote about. Just to be clear, my posts are geared toward Christian women who have devoted their hearts to the Lord. I do not expect those who are not Christians to agree with me, as we are living for different goals.

Women doing archery and being very good at it is not a bad
thing. In fact, I happen to be very good at archery myself. In the movie, there is a contest by the Princess' suitors to see which of them she will marry. She ends up stepping in and besting them all. I am very competitive and enjoy winning too, but that is not the point the scene was trying to make. The point of that scene in the movie Brave is not the show how great she is at archery, but to prove the point that she is better than all the men she would have been married to, and therefore she doesn't need a man. In the scene they didn't merely make the
boys seem inept at archery (which is fine if they were), but the clip in the
movie actually makes the boys seem stupid, foolish, fat, ugly, violent, and unworthy of her. And these are messages not just in the archery scene. The main theme in this movie is that someone as awesome, independent, and skilled as Princess Merida is too good for something like marriage. And what kind of message is that to send young women and girls? That if they are strong and independent and skilled they should never "chain" themselves to a man in marriage? That marriage and men will only drag you down? That all men are foolish and inept anyway so why would you want to marry one? And for that matter, what kind of message is that to send young men and boys?

You can watch the clip below if you have not seen it.

The idea that women don't "need" men and are in many ways superior to them is popular
in movies and tv shows today. We went from a society which was sexist towards woman to one which is sexist towards men, and women see that as "equality". All over tv and movies we see Hollywood making men seem like inept, lazy, sex-crazy, stupid oafs. Women, in contrast, are either depicted as a) the independent sirens who enslave men with their sexiness, or b) the
capable voices of reason in a world full of oafish, sex-crazed men. I don't think that message is healthy for anyone to
see, because it is raising a generation of weak men who don't do what is
expected of them by God. It is also raising a generation of women who think of men as incapable and lazy, and that it is ok
to say whatever they want whenever they want about anything. Not smart for Christians who are supposed to be wise with our words.

To address the ideas expressed about feminism and equality, I agreed with you wholeheartedly as little 1 year ago. I hope you will take some time
to check out that Bible study I talked about in the last post, which goes into
depth on the history of the feminist movement. While you and I get to reap some
benefits from the movement, feminism is
fundamentally an "ism", or a set of thoughts and ideas (like Atheism, Fundamentalism, and Marxism, for example). The feminism
that broke out in the 1960s is the root of where we get the world we are living in today. And feminism is not about equality,
but rather the idea that marriage and children are suppressors of women and
we need to fight to take our own destiny and do what fulfills us outside of the family structure. You have only to read some of the works by Betty Friedan, called the mother of the second-wave feminist movement in the 1960s, to see what I mean. And while many of us do not agree completely with Betty Friedan, we have to understand that she was the voice behind all of the women's rights campaigns which have had lasting, permanent effect until today.

I do believe men and women are equal, however I believe they are
made to be different. Modern society has made it seem that for a woman to be
considered equal to a man she has to do everything a man does. Society tells us a
woman who chooses to stay home and care for her kids and serve her
family her whole life is not serving the name of equality. The feminist movement has made it almost shameful to
be a wife and mother "only". Instead, this world says that a woman can only be fulfilled if she has a career, a husband, kids, and a great education.

But we know from the Bible that God has a plan and design
for men and women. To say we can do whatever we want whenever we want is to
reject that God has a design and purpose for each one of us. It is to reject his authority in the world and over our lives. When we send these kinds of messages to young girls through movies like Brave, we are telling them that they just need to go out and embrace whatever life has to give them. We are not telling them what God expects of them and to use their God given talents to serve God and others around them. Rather, we are telling them to pursue their own dreams and fulfill themselves first and foremost, rather than letting God come in and fulfill his purpose through them. Galations 2:20 says:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives
in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God,
who loved me and gave himself for me.

God gives all of us talents to use, but he also built women and men to serve him in unique ways. When we become Christians, we become new people, and people who are driven to fulfill God's plan in the world and not our own. Therefore, telling ourselves and our daughters that they need to just go and fulfill themselves and do whatever they want is not conducive to a Christian life. Sending the message to our men and sons that they need to be passive and not take responsibility for providing for their families is contrary to what God's message is.

Many people these days believe that God can be designed by
us. We get to take what we want and leave what we don't. Unfortunately, that
isn't how God works. We live in a selfish society that makes everyone think
"why not? take what you want, who cares what is right or wrong." But
God is who he is, and he gave us the Bible through thousands of years of
revelation to show us who he is. This is his world, and we should be mindful of how he designed women. Many marriages fall apart and people drown in
depression because they don't understand the God-given roles they have, so they
are acting however they want and chasing whatever they want.

I am a working woman, but I understand that the Bible states
I was made to be a servant of the Lord, a helper to my husband, a mother to my children, and the
keeper of my home. It may not be what we want to hear, but it is who God made us to be. Our world has a ton of children running wild today because their parents
don't have time or energy to actually teach them how to act and what is
expected of them, much less teach them how to love and serve the Lord. When the time comes that I have children, I know
it will be time for me to quit my job, as there is no way I can do all those
things well at the same time. Some women may be able to pull it off, but not me. Until that time, it is still my job to be a servant of the Lord, a helper to my husband, and the keeper of my home. My husband is wonderful at helping me, but ultimately it is my job to manage things and make sure my home is a place of welcome and fellowship. (See Titus 2)

Let me quickly expand on the idea of being a helper to your husband. Again, our feminist-tinged world has made that seem like an ugly thing, but really it is very beautiful. My husband is the head of our family and I am his helper. Does that make me less important than him? NO! In fact, it makes my husband's job 10 times harder because he has to account for his leadership of our family when he stands before the Lord someday in judgement. I heard a perfect metaphor for the way such a partnership works: God-designed marriage is like ballroom dancing: the man leads, but the woman plays just as big and as important of a part in the dance. Although the man is leading, he cannot ballroom dance without her

I
hope you will take a moment to look at the Bible study I mentioned, because it
truly opened my eyes. Or simply open up your Bible and read. We are the ones who have to choose if we are going to live the way society is telling us is correct, or the way God tell us. And let me tell you, I've never been happier than since I chose to follow God's way.

If you are offended by my views, I am sorry for that, but I know what the Lord has laid on my heart. I pray he will guide you as well. But please feel free not to frequent my blog if you are offended.

2 comments:

Good response. I'm glad you wrote it, although the dissenting comments were not responding to anything you actually said, but rather something they interpreted from your original post that wasn't there. I thought you were clear enough the first time. Gotta love the internet com-box.

I learned something new today from your post can you please share the scripture about the head of the household one day will have to account for his leadership of our family when he stands before the Lord someday in judgment?

About Me

I am a 29 year old child of God. I'm completely imperfect and yet saved by God's grace. I consider this my little online coffee shop (probably more of a tea shop if it was my taste), where I get to talk with other Christian women and share some of my interests: living debt-free, crafts, cooking, fashion, family, pregnancy, babies, etc. I live in Ohio with my husband and baby. Feel free to contact me anytime at cornerjoyk@gmail.com