(When employees forget their name tags we have temporary tags for them to write their name on and stick them to their shirts. One day I forget my tag, so I grab a temporary one and write ‘Smee’ as my name. I am called to assist an older couple with an issue at a register. After the issue is taken care of the conversation goes as follows:)

Wife: “Smee? What kind of name is that?”

Me: “Oh, it’s an old family name. Goes back many generations.”

Wife: “Really? Is it European?”

Me: “English, actually. It started with a famous relative.”

Wife: “Oh, how famous?

(The husband turns away and suppresses a laugh and smile.)

Me: “Well I had a great, great, great, great, great uncle who sailed with a famous sea captain as his first mate.”

Wife: “Really? What sea captain was that?”

Me: “Oh, you know, Captain Hook!”

(The husband cracks up.)

Wife: “Oh, my. Wait. Who?”

(At this point I got called away to another register. As I left the husband and the cashier were laughing and the wife was asking who Captain Hook is.)

(It is currently late at night, with a winter storm expected to come the following morning. I am running customer service when the phone rings and I answer it.)

Me: “Hello, [Store] [Location] customer service desk. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’d just like to let you know that tomorrow morning is going to horrible and that all of the young people won’t be coming in. However, all of the elderly people that work will be, because they are the ones who really need the money. Bye!”

Me: “Uh…”

Caller:*click*

(I put the phone back on the receiver and relay the comment to a manager.)

Manager: “Oh my God, it’s not even tomorrow yet and they are ALREADY complaining!”