This Week's Leaders

Cheating repeat neurosis

Dear Prudence,I have been with my husband for five years. He is attentive, kind, thoughtful, and attractive, which are all qualities that make him appealing to other women. Four years ago he cheated on me, and I found out almost immediately after the affair started. He showed remorse, we went to counseling, and I decided to stay with him. Since the affair, I check his Facebook, emails, phone calls, and texts regularly. It’s obviously insane and has become somewhat of an obsession. I have attempted counseling but this hasn’t stopped or curbed my snooping. I am just waiting to catch him again and feel that it’s only a matter of time before he strays. I have had five serious long-term relationships in my life, all of which have ended with infidelity. I am not quite sure what about me screams “cheat on me,” but it is an obvious pattern. This man is the love of my life, and I live in daily fear of getting cheated on. I need advice on how to deal with these issues and move on into a healthier mindset.