Tuesday, October 25, 2016

I want to pause a moment this week to say how special, how unique, and how intrinsic to College Football our annual trip to the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party remains.

Living in Virginia, with a wife and two young kids, I've not attended in a number of years. But some of my great memories come from those trips.

Hell, some of them even happened on a Saturday.

This game is one of the things that makes the University of Georgia special on the national stage. It is destination football, perhaps on par with anything and everything else in College Football.

I know some are there already, relaxing on a beach. I'm jealous of everything but the Sunday trip home, should things go as they too often have in recent yearsthe last decadethe last 20 years since 1990.

In my youth, my friends and I were usually early arrivers. Georgia-Florida week was, in fact, a week.

More than a decade ago my buddy, The General we called him, was the last caller on Coach Richt's annual Sunday call-in show the week before Florida. This was early in Richt's tenure. Maybe even in his first year, because I remember Munson explaining to Richt just what-all the Cocktail Party entailed.

We had played Kentucky or someone the day before.

"Just wanted to let you know, we're packing up the car and heading down tonight," The General said, as the end-of-show music played.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

The headline comes from my wife, who, in line with our style of analysis here, did not watch yesterday's game.

I remain tranquil in the wake of losing to, for goodness sake, Vanderbilt. Because we are on a path. We're locked in. There's no doubt or looming decision festering in my gut like after a bad loss in recent years.

This is either going to work or it's not. Within three years.

Joe, and 99 percent of sensible Bulldog fandom, did not like our key 4th down play call yesterday. I'll list the reasons:

It didn't work.

Nick Chubb.

I mean, you can't go in motion like that twice in a row. C'mon, y'all.

Sony Michel.

Our special teams play was a comedy of ironies and poor decisions. On the biggest plays, Vanderbilt's defense looked like it was just swarming past our blockers. Watching Arkansas/Ole Miss after our game made me ache for a night game in Sanford Stadium with a team that looks like it knows what it's doing and doesn't fuck around about it.

Any way, whatever. We have a plan. This plan appears to be going poorly. I say let's beat Auburn and Florida this year, and of course Georgia Tech.

These are my only 2016 goals for the program. I hope they're somehow, perhaps magically, within reach, and that they won't be subverted for longer-term goals.

"I said, 'Isaiah, why did you send me a check? I told you you didn't have to send me a check,''' Pennie said. "He said, 'Sarge, I want to do it. I really want to do it.' I said, 'okay, alright, you will now be an executive level sponsor. So now, you are a celebrity sponsor of the Dallas Fallen Officer Foundation.''

Crowell, asked by cleveland.com about the donation this week in the Browns locker room, was reluctant to discuss it. He never wanted publicity for it in the first place.

The Banana LambertMy siblings and I actually created this one at the start of the 2015 season, based on the oldest bottle in my parents' liquor cabinet. It's a shot of banana liqueur and a shot of bourbon with ginger beer, garnished with mint. It's not as bad as you think (yes it is).

The Jacob's LadderShot of peppermint schnapps, shot of Boone's Farm, shot of whiskey, hand the ball to Nick Chubb.

The Nick ChubbGet a rocks glass. Fill it with rocks. Enjoy.

The McKenzieThree sips of an $80 Scotch, enjoyed by a fire with a mellow cigar. Then drop and shatter the rest of the bottle.

The LorenzoTequila in a shot class garnished with pulled teeth. Yeah, I don't know why either.

The EasonGet some champagne. Add jolly ranchers. Give it to the other team.

The BlazevichShot of beer. Shot of Amaretto. Top with 151. Light on fire and set aside without drinking.

The KirbyA vodka fishbowl martini served daily at 3:30 from a bottle of Grey Goose that has been emptied out behind your back, then refilled with either more Grey Goose, Absolute or Mr. Boston's.

The McGarityBeverage of your choice, served in a glass too big for you to finish.

The PlacekickerPrepare two separate glasses of malt liquor. Set aside on an tray table while you enjoy three to five Easons. Approach tray table and trip face first into both glasses. Cut yourself severely.

The SackBeverage does not exist.

The LineDrink of your choice served in a colander.

The Beat UNCI actually don't know what's in this one, which is a shame because it was pretty good. I know it's built on a Nick Chubb, but for the life of me I can't remember what else was in it.