“It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering.”

“The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.”

Gender equality is crucial for peaceful relationships. How impossible is it to believe that your partner doesn’t view you as full-human? Power, control, and instrumental levels of aggression reflect a belief system that establishes the dominance of men over women and children as a social value. Fundamentally, men who enforce beliefs of superiority tear apart a women’s autonomy, self-efficacy, and health. These patterns of power and control also exist in homosexual relationships. Additionally, 1:6 men have been sexually abused before the age of 18. Rates of sexual violence are highest towards women ages 18-24, transgender individuals, and Native Americans (perpetrated by non-natives).

“When a man devalues his partner, his behavior always ends up of having the behavior of controlling her, even if control isn’t his main goal.”