British youth successfully inspired by menial Olympic support roles

Lord Coe has hailed a survey published today that confirmed that the youth of the nation has been inspired to become menial assistants.

Concerns that the London Olympics would fail to deliver the legacy promised by its tag-line 'inspire a generation' appear to have been unfounded, according to the survey. 'I've watched the Olympics on the telly, and I now know what I want to do with my life' declared South London teenager Conor Turner. 'I want to be the man who rides the little electric scooter at the start of the keirin cycling race.' His sister, 12 year old Jade agreed 'to think that I might have the chance to rake the long-jump sandpit, pull the arrows out of the target or maybe even drive the remote control car that carries javelins back to the competitors is awe-inspiring. I'm going to work hard and do everything I can to be in with a chance of doing that in four years time.'

Former Olympics minister Tessa Jowell however pointed to a lack of funding in schools. 'I know of some schools that don't even have a rake, let alone a sand-pit' she said. 'If we don't do something about it we're going to have far fewer Olympic support volunteers in Rio in four years time than we've had in London.'