Filtering by Tag: John Beder

This week, the documentary, “Composed,” receives its formal premiere in New York City, with a panel of professionals to discuss the film afterwards, including the filmmaker, John Beder. I had the opportunity to preview the film earlier this week and offer up my first insights as a reviewer prior to the public viewing. Let me preface this by saying that I am a biased reviewer- I’ve been interested in this project since its inception, and as a professional musician who makes the bulk of my income from performances and auditions, the issues addressed in this documentary are absolutely pertinent to my daily life, and that of my colleagues and friends. That being said, “Composed” started as an inquiry into performance anxiety and beta-blocker usage amongst classical musicians, and as a finished product, explores richer and more complex issues about the nature of performance, internal pressures, music education models, and more.

The film opens with different musicians sharing why they love music and when they first remember classical music as a child. With contributions from Eugene Izotov, Christoph Eschenbach, Brant Taylor, William Short, and others, there is a foundational understanding that classical music is a profound art form that we all care deeply about and that holds deep meaning for us. From there, the narrative shifts to reveal that musicians often get profoundly nervous about performing because of the great responsibility the art demands, the great technical and musical challenges at hand, and the incredible competition for employment. Throughout the documentary, we observe a group of five young musicians take auditions, practice, and address their own personal struggles with performance anxiety. Interwoven throughout that narrative is a commentary from a series of different professionals, from symphonic musicians to medical professionals, performance coaches and instructors in other disciplines. Drawing insights from many of the highest level musicians in the field, as well as those in psychology yields a product with rich insights, not only about the complexity of performance anxiety, but also the challenging nature of performance, musical study, and practice.

The challenges of auditions are explained early in the film, not only the rigors of preparation, but also the day itself, from warmup room to the actual audition. One interesting comment from Leonard Slatkin, music director of the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, really hit home. “(Auditions) It’s fair, but is it right?” He was speaking in regards to the many substitute musicians who repeatedly take the DSO auditions, and never win, despite being a first call sub or playing one year contracts. “They’re good enough to play in the symphony, but not good enough at taking auditions.” Others discuss the few minutes of an audition, in which a candidate has no room to be nervous but simply must perform at optimal levels, despite overwhelming odds against them. Although film crews are not permitted to actually film an audition, the documentary does follow some of the musicians’ trips, pre audition preparation, transportation, and immediate post audition responses. As a side note, I have to applaud these musicians for being vulnerable about their experiences and willingness to have someone film their pre and post audition processes.

The middle portion of the documentary examines the sympathetic nervous system, the role of eustress and stress, as well as the role that beta blockers plays in affecting the nervous system. Rarely discussed until recently, beta-blockers are often used to help manage the physiological consequences of stage fright. The unanimous conclusion of those interviewed was that beta-blockers can help performers play their best, but will not help them perform better than they normally would. Jennifer Montone, Principal horn of Philadelphia reiterates how a bedrock foundation of practice and strong mental preparation is most important, which was something echoed by many others throughout the film, including Dr. Noa Kageyama of the Bulletproof Musician.

The remainder of the film examines different ways of changing the way we as a musical community handle performance anxiety, from changing the way we train in schools and conservatories, to creating a more open dialogue about performance issues. One quote from Nathan Cole, associate concertmaster of the Los Angeles Philharmonic, stood out to me. “I’m a performer, violinist, but I’m also a person. Violin doesn’t define me.” It can be so easy as a performer to tie audition or performance success with larger self-worth (or lack thereof). Gerald Klickstein, music educator and author of “the Musician’s Way,” proposes a different model of education in which students have access to a much wider spectrum of teachers, not only their private instrumental instructor, but a sports/performance psychologist or coach, body awareness teacher, and more. The film ends with different musicians offering their perspectives on how there is no one right way to tackle performance anxiety, and that opening the dialogue about these issues is the first step to addressing the issue in a greater way.

The film is a nuanced examination of the pressures and stresses of professional music-making, but also weaves in kernels of musical wisdom throughout for both musician and non-musician audiences. Drawing interviews from other 60 musicians, totaling 120 hours of footage, John Beder managed to edit the interviews into a cohesive and engaging narrative. Footage of orchestras, soloists, and chamber ensembles is interspersed throughout the film, maintaining the connection between the art form and the challenge at hand. Despite the sheer volume of interviews, the documentary is just short of 80 minutes. One look at the number of interviews reveals that there are many fantastic insights that simply didn’t make it into the film, and I wish there was a way to see more of those interviews. I can fully appreciate the amount of editing and observation needed to whittle down 120 hours of material into 1.2 hours, and Beder surely has many other gems of insight that didn’t make it in there.

I don’t have many criticisms for the film: there have been few attempts to document classical music from the perspective of a filmmaker that is also a musician, and even fewer ventures into performance anxiety. This film has the power to connect the musical community over a shared experience, but also promote a greater dialogue about these issues and usage of the many resources that are available to the modern musician. By and large, the film does not take a negative or condemning stance to beta-blocker usage, and I would’ve liked to hear from musicians for whom they do not work, or whom feel that they play worse with them. I would have also been curious to hear more from musicians about when (if at all) they use them, whether they use them for auditions and performances, or exclusively auditions, or never. Yet, it took immense courage to approach professional musicians and encourage them to talk about these issues, and even more courage for those who spoke openly about their own issues and remedies. That, in itself, is a landmark achievement which is truly astonishing. Although this is a film about musicians, it would have relevance to non musical audiences as well, as it reveals the complexity and pressures of the classical music art form. With the wide range of interviewees as well as the profound insights about performance and music itself, every classical musician should see this.

In the last year, John Beder has not only interviewed many classical musicians about their experiences with performance anxiety and beta-blockers, but also drafted his search into a cohesive survey for ICSOM (The International Conference for Symphony Orchestra Musicians), which has not addressed musicians and performance anxiety in almost 30 years. On Wednesday, almost a year after initially launching his Musicians' Health Survey and reviewing the data, John shared his findings at the 2016 ICSOM conference in Washington D.C.

K: With those who were comfortable discussing their beta blocker usage, how did they impact their performances, auditions, or other circumstances?

J: Throughout the project many of the musicians we talked to about beta-blockers heard about them as the “easiest" and “quickest" way to address performance anxiety. Fast and easy of course sounds perfect when so much time is already consumed by all the other demands of the profession. While we spoke with many people who had positive things to say about the use of beta blockers, many of the musicians we spoke to about beta blockers had a nuanced view of their application. They spoke about them as complimenting a diversity of methods for addressing performance anxiety, rather than using beta blockers to get around more traditional methods of performance preparation.

Many had spent a significant amount of time studying how to perform more confidently on stage, beyond the technical and musical demands of performing. Ultimately, beta blockers are not for everyone, and are certainly not a replacement for preparation or some sort of panacea for performance anxiety. This, I think, is the most important take away from any discussion around beta-blockers: that they are a part of a larger conversation about performance skills which is missing from many of our music education programs.

K: For those who don't use them, how do they manage their performance anxiety?

J: Many of the musicians we spoke to who had not tried beta blockers also invested a significant amount of time figuring out how to address performance anxiety. Many used mindfulness techniques and meditation, while others borrowed from sports psychology with things like heart monitors, biofeedback machines, and breathing exercises. We try to talk about as many of these as possible in the film in addition to beta blockers but with the impressive quantity of approaches we only had time to focus on a few of the most practiced. It’s interesting to note as well that the conversations never started with “I don’t get nervous” since every single person we talked to expressed experiences and instances of performance anxiety.

K: Tell me about the Musicians' Health Survey that you launched a year ago and your findings since then.

J: It’s been a year now since we distributed the study (2015 Musicians’ Health Survey) to ICSOM and it has been wonderful to see participation from orchestras around the country. A total of 447 musicians responded and some of the results are being shared at this year’s ICSOM conference in Washington DC. Professor Williamon with the Royal College of Music in London is still working on the formal analysis but much of what we learned will be discussed and presented at this year’s conference.

Some interesting initial data I can share about the survey is that in 1987 women made up 34% of the respondents whereas our study reported 48% women to 52% men. Today’s classical musician also reported better than average health and there was major increase in physical exercise as a method to address performance anxiety. In 1987 61% of musicians reported regular exercise and in 2015, 68% reported regular exercise. As a means for addressing performance anxiety, however, exercise was used by 17% in 1987 and 74% in 2015, a striking increase.

With regard to beta-blockers, the study shows that 72% of ICSOM musicians have tried using beta blockers for performance anxiety. Out of that group, 90% said they would consider using them for auditions, 74% would consider them for solo or featured performances, and 36% would consider them for orchestra performances. By comparison, in 1987 a reported 27% of ICSOM musicians had tried beta-blockers, representing a significant uptick (45%) over the last 28 years. Also in 1987 of those who’d tried beta-blockers 72% said they would use them for auditions while only 4% would use them for orchestra performances compared to today’s 36%.

Some other popular methods musicians reported trying included more experience (87%), eating bananas (54%), meditation (49%), and performance psychology (44%).

K: How do the survey and your findings factor into your work with the documentary and your work in Musicians' performance health?

J: The 2015 Musicians’ Health Survey is really just the start of a bigger conversation we hope to have with our film Composed. We can’t encourage musicians enough to explore performance skills outside of the notes on the page. Musicians are too often left feeling isolated in their struggle with performance anxiety despite the fact that 98% of ICSOM musicians report having experienced it at some point. The statistics here and ones to follow will likely prompt conversations about the beta blockers alone but our goal is not to adjudicate on the use of beta blockers, rather to promote an environment where talking about performance anxiety is accepted and encouraged as part of what it means to be a performer.

*In Fishbein et al. (1987) Senza Sordino

K: Thanks- I look forward to hearing more about this survey and new findings as the documentary moves towards completion!

A few weeks ago, I had the chance to reconnect with John Beder, who I first met through a friend last fall, interviewed in February for the blog, and who has since been hard at work at his documentary project Composed. Since I first featured him, John has interviewed many classical musicians in top orchestral and chamber ensembles, and met some truly astonishing musicians, thinkers, performers, and writers, including some of my own teachers and colleagues. After 9 months of interviews, I finally met him at person in Austin, TX and we were able to discuss some of his recent adventures.

Kayleigh: In the 9 months since we first connected, you've done a ton of interviews- how many, exactly? And how many hours of footage have you collected?

John: I’m excited to say we’ve just reached 52 interviews for the project. The latest addition being the Time for Three string trio who we met with last week in Philadelphia. I think this brings us to over 90 hours of footage, which I still can’t wrap my head around.

K: Has this mostly been in the US or have you also traveled outside the US?

An interview with Maxine Kwok-Adams from John's recent trip to the UK.

J: This past August we had the chance to travel to Ireland and the UK for some outsider perspective. It was an incredible opportunity to contrast all that I’ve heard in the US and was our first and only trip abroad so far. Throughout the production though numerous musicians wishing to participate have contacted me, but sadly live somewhere I just can’t get to. In an ideal scenario I’d meet all of them, but I’m thankful to have gone and met some amazing musicians across the pond.

K: How has the interview process been so far? Have many musicians been resistant to the project? Or have they been intrigued?

J: It’s so funny to look back on this past year to see how things have changed. The process has had its ups and downs for sure but at this stage I only have a few more to go. Musicians have certainly been more open to participating with the growing cast list, but I’ve still had every response. Sometimes people can’t wait to talk, others say “no but I can’t wait to see it”, some say ‘yes’ and then ‘no’ or ‘no’ and then ‘yes’, and most don’t respond at all. Recently I’ve been focusing on reaching big name soloists to fill out an important perspective of the film but have only made it through to the “Agent” stage. Generally if I have to go through an agent it’s met with little to no response. After six emails to Yo-Yo Ma’s agents I finally got a response that I’d hear back if he was interested but nothing if he declined (it’s been a couple months). A few however, like Mimi Stillman and the Time for Three trio, have jumped at the opportunity to join the cast so there’s still hope for more.

One thing I will say about resistance is that I’ve probably felt it more from institutions and soloists than anyone else. I absolutely recognize that these people need to be careful about who they get involved with, but I also think it’s easier to say ‘no’ than ‘yes’. Don’t get me wrong schools like Curtis, Shepherd, and Colburn welcomed me in, but others to this day have not replied at all to my attempts at connecting. I should mention that often I’m looking for a venue to conduct interviews at music schools when contacting them, but also have looked for more involved partnerships.

K: Have there been any stand-out interviews that were particularly unusual or unexpected?

J: After 52 interviews you’d think that there wouldn’t be much left in the unusual or unexpected category, but without fail I’m surprised every single time I sit down with someone. People sharing some harrowing details of nerves that I’d never expect is still shocking after hearing it over and over again. A few people certainly have left me speechless with their advice and stories of triumph and failure. Actually, I just remembered something unexpected that’s happened a few times now, which is for the interviewee to get incredibly nervous during the actual interview. It makes sense when you think of it of course, but it reminds me that this is something we face in in all kinds of scenarios and is an ongoing process in most cases.

K: What is perhaps the most interesting thing you have learned throughout the process?

J: I’ve learned so much throughout this process it makes my head spin. When you start talking about anxiety with people you realize more and more how it applies to everyone. The self-doubt, anxiety, and fear musicians might feel are the same struggles we all have, being a musician just puts it directly in your career path. This and how it applies to the very process of making a film is probably the most important thing I’ve learned. Creating something artistic for an audience, be it in a cinema or on stage, is daunting and truly embracing the fact that you’re sharing a gift is one of the most difficult mental challenges of being an artist. I am constantly in awe of my cast and can’t wait to share.

K: How has the focus of the documentary shifted- it seems like you started by talking about beta-blockers, and you've now shifted to address performance anxiety as a whole?

J: When I started this project my focus was on beta-blockers as a way to answer some of my own questions but to also bring to the surface the conversation surrounding them. Even in the past year I’ve noticed a lot more people talking about beta-blockers now, but it’s also on my radar more than ever. After even the first couple interviews though it was clear to me that this was a much broader topic and that if I wanted to help people, focusing on beta-blockers was not the only way to go. Don’t get me wrong, we’re talking about beta-blockers, but as one of many ways to address performance anxiety I realized I had to show more of what I was hearing from everyone. Beta-blockers lead to conversations about anxiety, stress, auditions, performing, and on and on. These themselves lead to other conversations about wellness, mental health, and daily life. You could continue to open it up, but with the understanding that focus will make a bigger impact in the community of music, I’ve chosen performance anxiety and classical music to try and help people.

K: Where are you now with editing and post-production, and when do you expect the project to be completed?

J: Right now I’m heading towards the end of production and want to begin editing this winter. This however has also become a pivotal phase as I’ve recently taken up fiscal sponsorship with a non-profit organization to allow for donations. We’ve made it so far on a $4500 budget from a Kickstarter campaign back in February, but sadly that money won’t take us to the end. Education, corporate, and private sponsorships/donations are the only way we can finish this film, so that’s a big focus right now too. I’ve started the conversation with a few schools and companies and am hoping they might see how important this film is to musicians and want to get involved.

K: What is your hope for the finished documentary- where would you like to premiere it, what sort of audience do you want to connect to, who might it benefit?

J: My number one goal is to share this film with musicians and performers. People who know this cast and know these stories as their own. I’m planning on a Boston premiere hopefully summer 2016, but after that my goal is to tour the film all around the US at schools, organizations, and music festivals where young musicians can easily see it. This will take some coordination but have already started the conversation with a couple major music institutes around the country. After touring, I’d love to get it distributed in some wider online capacity, making it even easier for those wanting to watch. I truly believe that there are messages and lessons in this film for everyone in this, not just musicians, but anxiety is a huge topic that you can’t fully cover in 90 minutes so my aim is to help musicians and maybe everyone else along the way.

John presenting at the 2015 ICSOM conference.

K: One last thing- tell me about ICSOM(nternational Conference of Symphony and Opera Musicians) conference and the new musicians' health survey! How did that connection come about?

J: The 2015 Musician’s Health Survey came about from us realizing that after 28 years we really needed some up to date data on what’s happening in today’s orchestras. When I was first starting out people commonly asked about the statistics of performance anxiety and the methods to address it. I had no real answers, only guesses, which I knew wouldn’t be good enough. So I started the process of contacting ICSOM about an update to their 1987 study about the health of their musicians. It was not an easy process as I’m not a psychologist, physician, or researcher, but I knew some and knew where to look. Dr. Noa Kageyama was instrumental in pointing me in the right direction and that eventually led to some great resources to consult with and an old professor of mine, Aaron Williamon. Professor Williamon and his team at the Royal College of Music are the brains behind the survey and are currently going through the results! This survey certainly wasn’t easy, but without the full support of ICSOM, this thing would never have happened. They’ve really shown a lot of interest in this film and it was great to present a few clips at their conference and hear from so many delegates how excited they are to see it. You can forget why you’re working so hard on something sometimes, but this past August at the ICSOM conference, I had over 30 people come up to me individually to say ‘thanks for doing this’ which meant the world to me. The results of the survey will take some time to be analyzed. We’ve gathered 450 responses. Some data will be presented in the film and also published by Professor Williamon and his team at a later date. I can tell you now, there are some big surprises from the results I’ve seen.

K: Thank you so much for all of your work, and I look forward to seeing the finished project-I'm so impressed by what you've accomplished this year.

Composed is a sponsored project of Fractured Atlas, a non-profit arts service organization. Contributions for the charitable purposes of Composed must be made payable to Fractured Atlas only and are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.