Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend?

Relationships are seriously difficult, and they get even harder when things just aren’t working out the way you planned. But how do you know when it’s the right time to say goodbye? Here are some questions to ask yourself before taking the breakup plunge, possible reasons for breaking up, and even solutions to your issues. There’s also a few reasons why you SHOULDN’T break up- things you definitely need to read! Good luck, ladies.

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Breaking Up

Am I just mad, or do I really want to break up?

When we are mad we tend to say and think things we don’t REALLY mean. Before you say the word ‘breakup’, take a breather and really ask yourself if you are just angry at him or the situation, or if you truly want to end the relationship.

Is this something that can be worked out?

Think about the problem you and him are having. Is it something you feel the two of you could work out? Is there a reason to just end the relationship because of this event, or is it something that could mend over talking and time? Really think about the problem before you just end it altogether.

How will life change after we breakup?

Right now, you’re in a committed relationship. The two of you talk all day, you are working together to possibly move into your first apartment just you and him, and he’s the man you go out with every Saturday without fail. There’s probably a lengthy list of all the things he and you are doing together and things you plan on doing together- how will that change if you end it? How will your life be? Is that something you really want to give up?

Will I regret this decision?

When someone abruptly breaks up with someone without really thinking about their decision beforehand, nine times out of ten they regret the decision. Think about it: if you end it over this certain problem or problematic situation, will you regret this decision? Because once you tell him it’s over, you’re going to have a difficult time getting him back.

Is this truly my decision, or is there outside pressure?

Sometimes outside influences- family and friends, mostly- can ‘talk’ you into breaking up with someone because they don’t like what they see or hear. That being said, are you making this breakup decision on your own or are others pressuring you? Rule out everything they have said and focus on YOU and what YOU think is right.

Reasons to Breakup & Possible Solutions

You Can’t Be Yourself Around Him

When you’re in a healthy relationship, you should be able to be yourself; it’s one of the most important aspects of a real relationship that’s going to last. If you feel you have to conceal certain parts of your personality or change the way you look, you may consider breaking up.

Solution: Open up! If he doesn’t like you for you and rejects you being one hundred percent yourself around him, he isn’t worth your time. However you may be pleasantly surprised when he says how happy he is you’ve finally opened up to him and loves you for YOU.

You’ve Tried to Make it Work- And it Won’t

Let’s say the two of you have had a lot of problems in the past, and every time you try to work it out, it simply stays the same. You’ve tried everything, but nothing changes. If you have tried endlessly to make your relationship work and it just keeps falling down the drain, it’s probably best to end it- it’s not going to change no matter how hard you try and at that point you’re only wasting time and emotions.

Solution: Unfortunately, there’s no solution for this matter.

You’re on Two Different Pages

If he is aspiring to be a multi-millionaire traveling the world with his wife- no kids- and your dreams include 5 kids and a cute little ranch house in Kansas, it’s probably not going to work. I mean, the two of you have entirely different goals- how can you work TOGETHER on anything?

Solution: Talk to him about your future. See if the two of you can give and take to make a perfect compilation of your dreams and his.

You Do Nothing but Argue

YIKES. Seems like it’s a never-ending battle between you and your guy. The two of you can’t even get through morning coffee together without an argument! It’s terrible, and obviously a rather unhappy situation. Sound like you? Then it may be time to end it and find happiness and peace with someone else.

Solution: Talk to him and see if the two of you can find solutions to your problems. Discuss why the arguments keep popping up and find out if there is any way to fix the issues.

You Keep Questioning the Relationship

If you are in a relationship you truly enjoy, and you’re in love with this person fully and feel as though the relationship is on a good note, you won’t question it- ever. On the other hand, if you’re going day to day questioning your relationship, then it’s probably a relationship you’re not interested in one hundred percent. There’s probably a lot of reasons why you are questioning it, and you need to come up with your answer: yes or no.

Solution: The best thing to do in this situation is come to a conclusion. You need to decide whether this relationship is right for you or if you are better off without him. Only you can come up with the answer!

You’ve Lost Interest

Unfortunately, people can lose interest in someone after being with them for a long period of time. Maybe you have ‘outgrown’ them- as in, you’ve matured and they are still stuck in their high school way of thinking- or maybe you just don’t find them attractive anymore. Maybe the two of you have lost the ‘sizzle’ in the sheets and you’re just flat out bored. Time to move on?

Solution: If it’s problems in the sheets, try talking to your man and see if there’s any way the two of you could spice things up. If you’re simply uninterested in him or you’ve mentally outgrown him, there’s really not much you can do.

You Don’t Trust Them

Trust is one of THEE most important aspects of a relationship; if there is no trust, there is no relationship. If you don’t trust him your best bet is to LEAVE and find someone you can trust to the fullest. No one should be in a relationship where they constantly have to worry about the truthfulness of their partner!

Solution: Talk to him about your trust issues and see if there’s any way to dissolve the problems that are making you uneasy.

When It’s Not a Good Idea to Breakup

You Haven’t Thought it Through

If you have not taken ample time to decide whether or not you truly want to break up, DON’T DO IT! Think it through completely or you may end up regretting it.

You’re Young

Sometimes when we are young we make irrational decisions, or we don’t think about our futures thoroughly. If you are young, think about where you will be many years from now. You are going to change and so is he. Give it some time and really think it through before making any decisions about your relationship.

You’re Acting Irrationally

Like we said before, sometimes we say and do things we don’t really mean when we are angry. That may be the case in your situation. If you are angry about something or angry at him for whatever reason, take a few days to cool down. You can’t think clearly when you’re bottled up with rage, so let it fizzle down before saying or doing anything you may regret. You may decide in a few days it is something you and him can work through, or maybe you were just blowing everything out of proportion.

There’s a Way to Fix the Problem

Why would you end something good just because there is a bump in the road? Seriously ladies, EVERY relationship is going to have issues; you’re not going to find a perfect relationship with absolutely no problems. Don’t give up on something so easily- the best and strongest relationships can work thru the issues and the problems, coming out on top and stronger than ever.

They Truly Make You Happy

At the end of the day, if this person treats you right and makes you happy, then you should stay. There is always going to be bumps in the road but if they mean a lot to you and they show how much you mean to them, think it thru and come up with a solution to the problem rather than cutting it off.

Breaking up is difficult. After reading thru this blog, do you think it’s time to say goodbye? What are some of the reasons you’ve broken up with a guy?

8 Comments

Confused

June 2, 2017 at 3:22 pm

Hi there! So I’m in a bit of a sticky situation right now with my boyfriend of 6 months. He treats me well and is always there for me, so I should be head over heels for him right???? I just don’t understand why I’ve really started to view him as more of a best friend and avoid alone time with him at all costs. It’s not that he’s done anything wrong, I honestly just don’t feel happy in this relationship anymore and I definitely don’t feel like I love him as much as he does me. I like hanging out with him, I’m just not really happy being romantic with him, and I don’t feel attracted to him anymore. I really don’t want to lose his friendship or make a mistake, so should I break up with him or stay? Help!

If you break up with him, there is an excellent chance that you will lose him as a friend. Unfortunately, breaking up with him may be the best option. You just aren’t attracted to him romantically or physically anymore, and that probably is not going to change. Think about it for a couple of weeks. If nothing changes, then end things. Do your best to remain friends, but just remember that it might not be possible. If he really loves you, it may be impossibly hard for him to just be friends with you if he can’t be with you romantically.

That sounds like good advice. Personally, I feel like an in-person break up is always the way to go. It might be more stressful for you, but it is a sign of respect. Someone that was worth dating at one point in time is worth the time it takes to break up in person. Thanks for commenting, Rachel!

So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 2 months now and we mostly never talk and I’ve thought about breaking up with him but I really don’t want to because I love him with all of my heart but I don’t think he feels the same way at school he always ignores me and I don’t want to break up with him but I don’t think our relationship is working out what should I do? please help.

If the problem is that you do not talk, why don’t you try initiating a conversation? He is your boyfriend after all, so it seems safe to assume that he would like to talk to you. If he does not respond when you talk to him or when you discuss having more communication together, then perhaps he is planning on breaking up with you and is just too afraid to do it. I would start with just trying to talk to him more and get the communication line to open up between you guys again. Good luck, Lily!