Frustrated with Night Time Routine.

07-15-2012, 11:34 PM

Hello,

My 10 month old son will. not. sleep. I'm becoming very angry and resentful towards our night time problems. He has never slept through the night. Since about four months he has gone to bed at 8:30pm, right after Dad goes to work), and wakes up around midnight, three and six every night. He wakes up for the day around 6:30/7am. I'm okay that he doesn't sleep through the night. Though it would change my life if he would sleep a continuous 4 hours once every night. He is always hungry and I am happy to nurse however I worry that these feedings are becoming more routine than him actually being hungry.

The biggest problems is his unwillingness to sleep. I understand that at 9 months they become more aware and have a greater separation problem. However it is starting to take longer and longer to get him to sleep despite having the same routine. It can take 3+ hours to get him to sleep. I rock and rock and rock and nurse and he just forces himself to stay awake to play/interact with me. He'll fall asleep in my arms, I will put him in this crib and walk away and just as I leave his room he wakes, stands up and cries. It doesn't matter if I wait 5 or 20 min after he falls asleep. So I will go back, pick him up and rock him back to sleep. If I don't his cries just become increasingly desperate. This cycle eventually leads to him being overtired and not being able to sleep. Occasionally I will be able to rub his back and get him to go back to sleep but this is becoming more and more rare. To make it worse I really believe that rocking him back to sleep is confounding the problem. He now knows if he cries, I will come back and rock him some more. I feel like he is using this to his advantage just to spend more time with me. This is causing us both to lose sleep. I'm not getting enough sleep to be a good enough mother. Because my husband works the overnight shift I am the only one that can put him to bed.

I am a stay at home mom and spend a large amount of my day playing with him so I don't think its that I don't spend enough time with him during the day. He despises being confined to tight spaces so wearing is out. I don't co-sleep because as soon as he was old enough to sit up all he wanted to do was play all night. Even now if I attempt to co-sleep he just keeps himself awake and jumps around.

I don't have this problem so much with napping. He seems to take his naps easily which makes going to bed all the more frustrating. I do give him tylenol before bed to eliminate any teething pain. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Hi.
I really feel for you. Sounds like you are doing all you can to comfort and reasure your little one and it always feels so much harder in the early hrs of the morning. You sound like a brilliant snd attentive mum so don't be hard on uourself if your little one is a night owl. I don't know what to suggest but thought shareing what we did may help even if its just so you know you are not alone? My little is now 11mths but at 6/7 mths got a tummy bug and went from sleeping a 5 hre stint before waking for a feed to waking every hour. In the end after feeling sick from tierdness i looked into safe cosleeping & that was our saviour. I put his cot against thr bed so he vouldn't roll out snd would nurse him to sleep. He now hoes down at 8ish until 7ish and just rolls into me to feed now snd then at night but doesn't cry as hardly wakes. Sometimes he can wake and be playfull but i keep my eyes closed stroke his hesd and hum or doinv the shhhhhh sound and he tends to not be able to fight it as im boring. Sorry if im no help as im not sure what else you can try but hope it gets better soon and you finaly get some rest. Take care and big mummy to mummy hugs to you x

Comment

Sleep issues with little ones can be so frustrating! I think we have all been there with you. Your post seems to indicate reasons for sleep changes. His growth is a major one. What worked for him a month or two ago will not work now because he is growing and changing. His sleep patterns will, too. If you feel the rocking is a problem, have you tried just laying next to him until he falls asleep? Although co-sleeping may not have yielded the results you were looking for earlier, it may now be helpful. Make sure to follow API's Safe Sleep Guidelines .

He now knows if he cries, I will come back and rock him some more. I feel like he is using this to his advantage just to spend more time with me.

The first sentence indicates that he trusts you. He cries, you respond. This is precisely what API's "Respond with Sensitivity" Principle is all about. This isn't manipulation. It's a relationship, built on trust. And it is laying the groundwork for many years ahead. Be proud of this.