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Saturday, April 28, 2012

Fixing the Problem

The cat peed in my purse on Monday.

I was trying to find a cleaver humorous way to ease into the story but there isn't one. It wasn't funny, I wasn't cleaver of him I did not laugh, to put it bluntly (and in pun form)... it pissed me off!

The cat was laughing, I could sense it. The animal faction of the house has been behaving like monkeys on crack lately. Hormones are to blame. Spring is in the air, Birds are tormenting both the dog and the cat from the free side of the glass. Bunnies are brazenly grazing in the backyard just beyond reach. We cannot take the dog to the dog park, walking him is like trying to control a projectile missile. The cat is tying to serenade everything insight with his ear piercing meow song. I am never surprised by what I might see or hear. If I were to come downstairs and see the dog sitting right in the middle of the kitchen table (and I am not admitting or denying that this may or may not already have happened) I would not be surprised.

So when the cat peed in my purse on Monday I took it in stride with a generous amount of cursing and swearing. I emptied the contents, rescued what I could and threw everything else in the trash. Fortunately my purse is 85% useless papers and receipts, 10% pharmaceutical, and 5% credit. The entire time I was at task the cat was looking at me like a 5 year old watching his mother heave his best kindergarten artwork into the garbage bin. I washed and dried the purse, a great advantage to affording "only looks like leather" and reassembled my life.

The only explanation I can deduce is that he was attempting to get word out that he was available and virile, the only way to accomplish that was to mark his scent on something that actually leaves the house. Maybe he thought I would come home with a string of female cats in tow. Perhaps his plan was to use me as an unwitted mule.

The animal lunacy in the house should come to an end very soon, both were taken in for the surrender of their 'hormonal bits' on Thursday. With any luck once the cone comes off the dog will be civilized and the cat will have learned a very valuable lesson about personal property.

Gratitude should come from our cat Mortimer today that after much introspection I decided to spend the money on him after all, because, for a brief moment on Monday morning, I was fully considering performing the procedure myself and using the money saved to buy myself a really nice purse!

Happy Saturday! Gratitude, Hope and Smiles are meant to be shared...get busy!