The BEST Golden Shower Gallery EVER. Believe Me.

This gallery is definitely NSFW, but if you’re reading about golden showers at work you probably can’t be helped so ¯\_(:)_/¯. Just tell your comrades that being an informed citizen makes you a more productive worker. And that you care deeply about politics. And that you we’re just about to grab that spreadsheet by the pussy but got distracted reading about the latest Russian ‘leaks’.

Okay, bad joke. That’s why I don’t write for comedy. But it’s not the first time you’ve thrown up in your mouth a little this week, is it? You woke up yesterday to the *alleged* news that our *alleged* president-elect *allegedly* likes to watch *alleged* prostitutkas (er… “sources”, if you get your news at Buzzfeed, God help you) relive themselves on mattresses, on each other, perhaps even on gelatinous orange asshats if the price is right. Not since Kim Kardashian circa 2003 has the golden shower enjoyed such a surge in popularity!

Um, JK. Actually the practice has a longstanding history in both the art world and the bedroom. The story of Danae (of Greek mythology fame) has long inspired fine artists. Especially that part where Zeus came to her in the form of “golden rain”. Since Valentine’s Day is coming up and I know a certain someone who *allegedly* wants to get his daughter closer to the “Oval Office” (euphemism!), I thought I’d round up some of the most intriguing golden shower art. Some of these outstanding works are for sale and I hear the dochenka is a big fan of modern art. (Rumor has it modern art isn’t a fan of hers, but that’s another story for another time…)

1 of 14Danaë reclining with the "shower of gold" depicted on a Boeotian red-figure vase, circa 450-425 BC.