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Author
Topic: Back, with a bit of advice after learning the hard way (Read 3812 times)

I've been away for awhile and wanted to pop back in and say hello again, catch up with everyone and to say--at the age of 43 and having lived with HIV for 18 years--I JUST learned something very important.

I bit the bullet of my own pride and saw a mental health professional (2 actually) about my depression. I thought I was just grumpy and moody and blue--and that afterall--I deserved to be, right?

WHAT a stooooopid thing it was to do to wait!

Just in the short time since I began proactively addressing my mental and emotional health (with therapy and meds), I've:

-Had wonderful, passionate and comforting moments with my wife.-Laughed, giiggled and even had coffee come through my nose once.-Began playing the drums again.-Re-opened my art studio-Got back to the gym and set my competition schedule for this summer/fall-Cried. Not because of the nebulous feelings of loss and disconnectedness--but because I truly felt empathy.-Stopped thinking that my job defined me.

So--if you think you are dealing with depression--PLEASE don't wait to address it.

I've been away for awhile and wanted to pop back in and say hello again, catch up with everyone and to say--at the age of 43 and having lived with HIV for 18 years--I JUST learned something very important.

I bit the bullet of my own pride and saw a mental health professional (2 actually) about my depression. I thought I was just grumpy and moody and blue--and that afterall--I deserved to be, right?

WHAT a stooooopid thing it was to do to wait!

Just in the short time since I began proactively addressing my mental and emotional health (with therapy and meds), I've:

-Had wonderful, passionate and comforting moments with my wife.-Laughed, giiggled and even had coffee come through my nose once.-Began playing the drums again.-Re-opened my art studio-Got back to the gym and set my competition schedule for this summer/fall-Cried. Not because of the nebulous feelings of loss and disconnectedness--but because I truly felt empathy.-Stopped thinking that my job defined me.

So--if you think you are dealing with depression--PLEASE don't wait to address it.

The oddest thing is--I didn't realize how 'bad' it actually was until I started to get better. Lately I've been saying, "Oh yeah--THIS is what ME is again--I had forgotten"

The meds have helped for sure. The thing I guess I'm most proud of, is that I dumped my ego and pride and began working with a therapist. Not in that "I'm the center of the universe, why can't everyone love me' kinda ranting, but in learning specific skills and processes to check what's going on and act early before I follow negative thoughts etc. to the point that I begin to sprial down. I'm hopeful that I can continue to be proactive, but I also know that this is all a process and there will be advancements and set-backs--I just have to keep moving forward.