Sometimes It’s Best….To Just Let It Go… – by Marney Reid

(Above) The last national sales meeting we would have as Team SoCal and with Jeremy

Good morning SOTGC readers. Over the past seven months there has been a lot of “letting go” that my friends and I have been dealing with. Both on a personal as well career level, and to be honest, one always ends up effecting the other somehow.

I look at each one of my close friends and see the dramatic shifts and changes that they have gone through this year, and I look at how each of us are dealing with and adjusting to them. Some of them are booking/and or are currently on trips across the far reaches of the World. Some are throwing themselves into the new experience of a different environment and new people to learn from, while the rest of us distract ourselves with work and the unchanging present that must be slightly altered to make it through these dramatic occurrences. Quite frankly, I envy those that were able to take off and throw themselves into a new scene with challenges that (if they let them) could be overwhelming and too daunting to bear. Yet are embracing them with excitement and anticipation of the growth they will experience through navigating these new experiences.

As women we will always be in the “revolving door” that is the change that persists in our personal and work lives. There can be no escaping the shifts that our hormones force us to deal with, the changes we must make to balance our career and family life, and the outcomes that these choices produce.

In no way am I, pushing the theme of “throwing caution to the wind, dropping it all, and heading off into the sunset” through these “transition” posts. If it hadn’t been for my mortgage and the ultimate disappointment I would have faced from my father, I would have quit my job five months ago, moved back home, and enrolled in a PhD program to delve more deeply into the current questions I had about life in general. However, more harm than good would have come from this drastic change, and so I chose to sort through everything as I continued to plod along through work as if very little had happened.

This being said, change is inevitable and shoving it back into the far recesses of our minds to “deal with it later” is one of the worst things we can do as functioning, evolving, adults. New situations and dilemmas will always present themselves, and how we go about fixing/adjusting to/solving these questions will inherently define our continuous growth.

I logged onto tinybuddha.com and found a great article by Dr. Amy Johnson called “Let Go of Control: How to Learn the Art of Surrender”.

If you’re a highly driven woman in the workforce you most likely have “small” issues with control (not sure if you’ve caught my tone but the sarcasm is literally leaping off the page at you. And by NO means am I pretending that I do not have these minor issues as well). A couple of years ago I came to the conclusion that part of what makes me excel at what I do for a living, can also make me very unpleasant to be around on a social level if it isn’t mitigated a bit. When you’re in a fast paced, competitive work environment, at any given minute you’re thinking about multiple projects, all the possible occurrences that could happen to derail those projects, and how you would react to each one of those potential situations to keep moving forward to get the desired outcome. Basically, you’re in control of the situation and the second that control is pulled from you, you work tirelessly to regain it. This can be great for work and can make you one of the best at what you do…but outside work (and sometimes even in it) this drive needs to be mellowed out for both your own sanity as well as those that are close to you.

One of the quotes from Dr. Johnson’s article that I truly enjoy is “Like most humans I know, I spend a lot of time in business that’s not mine. The baby’s business, my friends’ business, Mother Nature’s business.”

To wrap all of this up there will always be changes that one must encounter/face/and deal with in our personal lives. The outcomes will vary based upon how we deal with them and the processes we use to sort through the clutter. At the end of the day not one of us can control life’s challenges that we must, at some point, face. So wouldn’t it be better to figure out a way to process and cope, rather than to need to control and steer, and in the end, just drive ourselves crazy with the desired outcomes that don’t always come to fruition…?

I’m an Intrapreneur by day, creating a program from the ground up in the Advanced Energy division of Medtronic, Inc and an Entrepreneur by night, building the brand, Stilettos on the Glass Ceiling (SOTGC).

I’m a strategic change agent who employs education and development tactics to create paradigm shifts that drive business results.

**The views expressed in these articles are Marney’s own, they have not been reviewed or approved by Medtronic, Inc

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Comments

hi marney,regarding quitting your job to pursue your phD, i just want to share my husband’s dilemma with you in case it can help you in anyway. he is 36 and has a great job in the sense that it supports us but he feels it isn’t the right fit for him. to pursue the job he thinks he would love, he would give up our house, move us in with his family, and go back to school to pursue it. however, because of his age, he is hesitant. he feels a house is a luxury but not a necessity and worth giving up to pursue what he loves IF HE HAD THE TIME. This coming from a guy who manages his money very well…surprising, isn’t it? To give it equity for what might be the rest of your life. Just a thought from someone older.

Hmmm…this is good food for thought. And much like your husband, if it was only me that would be affected by the decision I wanted to make, then I would have moved forward. However, if more than just myself will be negatively affected by a big decision I make, then it’s best to sit on it for a few months to look at all the angles. As it is, things got a lot better and I am glad I did not react to the turbulent emotions that were guiding some of my wants…but I do like the advice and perspective. 🙂

Actually, he would have pulled the trigger had he been 32 and not 36, affecting all of us because he believes pursuing what he loves is more important than making money to pay for a house. He was thinking of a career change because he felt his thirties would be better for that transition than his forties or fifties but the new career path would require more schooling than he thought. So after the research, he decided that for that career, he did not have time on his side. I think we were both afraid of the negative consequences of such a major decision, but it was mainly his age that put those thoughts back on the shelf. If he considers them again, it would have to be soon, prob later this year or never again. Sorry for the many comments; this is my last on this. I’m glad you feel good about your decision to sit tight.

Hmmm…yes…this was definitely one of the things I thought about (regarding how long it would take to ramp back up to the financial position I am currently in if I were to go back for the PhD. At the end of the day, to be honest, it wasn’t so much the time or the money that stopped me, it was realizing that a huge emotional event was guiding my actions. I’m not a fan of making huge decisions based upon emotions running riot. I decided that I would give it 6 months and if, in 6 months, I STILL really wanted it, then I would make arrangements. I am very glad I waited because it turns out I was looking for an escape from having to face the events I was going through. I LOVE your replies and hope that you continue to comment on posts that interest you. The purpose of this blog is to be a cross-pollination of ideas and support and I greatly appreciate the time you have taken to give such great feedback and ideas.