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Confession: writer who never writes

I confess, I am a horrible updater. I am much better at updating Facebook or Twitter, but when it comes time to actually manage a blog, I suck. And for those who knew me even in my angsty teen years, I sucked at maintaining a blog even then. Maybe I should have listened to my gut when it told me that I would not properly maintain and update a blog with the attention it deserved – because I have always failed to do so.

Kind of like everytime I buy a weekly planner. I pay the $10 for it and use it for a week. And then I stop. Months go by and sometimes years before I pick the dang thing up again and realize what a waste of money it was. Or when I bought my 3 month journal for weight watchers, determined to write it down when after I lost 40 pounds, reaching Lifetime membership. I was convinced that since I no longer paid to get access the online tools, that I will follow the planner because I will not want get off track. Worked for a while, and slowly I stopped and the pounds came on. Went to a meeting once and paid. Have not been back since, because 15 pounds later I am too shameful to return and even more upset that I will have to pay because I failed. Online usually works for me – but only works if it is constantly in front of me, or becomes part of my daily routine. Much like exercising. Maybe I should sign up for online WW…

Anyways – so not only am I a writer who never writes, a blogger who never blogs, but also a weight loss champ who had re-gained. Fabulous. When it really boils down to it, the object of my affection has to be something I truly care about. I do love to write and read, but I also love to think. And I have never been that great at sharing what I think – not in the classroom and obviously not in a blog.

Eventually I get to those other affections I care about in due measure. For instance, the weight loss was a priority a year ago but not much lately since familial tensions and spirituality have taken the front seat. However, I will not buy a bigger pant size, so I see weight loss becoming another priority. Perhaps sharing my thoughts will march its way back into the list too. I have never been much of a hand-raiser, but will share my opinion in writing at any moment. Let’s start with baby steps…