Friday, September 20, 2013

The question is no longer whether you are going to give your teenager
his own cell phone but at what age you allow him to have his own cell
phone. This is largely going to depend upon you and the maturity level
of your teenager (which is something that only you as a parent can
gauge).

Whatever age you decide your teenager is ready, though, it’s good to have some rules in place.

In spite of what your teenager might tell you, unfettered cell phone use is not in his best interests right now.

Monitoring Software
It’s a good idea to install some mobile monitoring software on your
teenager’s cell phone. This way, if you need to, you will be able to
look up his call history, see what websites he has visited, and, most
importantly, where his phone is located.
Do not, as tempting as it may be, sneak this software on to your
teenager’s phone. Explain that you don’t want to have to use it but that
it will be installed as a “just in case” precautionary measure.

Setting Limits
Set up limits on minutes and texts before you give your teenager his
phone. Explain that every minute and every text costs money (even if you
have an unlimited plan) and that the phone is not meant to replace the
other methods of communication he already has at his disposal (house
phone, email, Facebook, etc).

Decide upon a “phone curfew” (the time he has to turn off his cell
phone each night). Make rules about whether or not you’ll allow the
phone to be used in the car, at the dinner table, during family events,
etc.

Sexting and Bullying
It’s okay to be freaked out by having to spell this out for your
teenager, but you still need to do it. Sexting and sending provocative
images between phones is a crime and one that he can be punished for,
possibly for the rest of his life. Talk to him about this and explain
why he needs to not give in to peer pressure when it comes to things
like sexting, forwarding photos, etc.
Bullying via cell phone is certainly a first-world problem, but it
is, nonetheless, a problem. Make sure your teenager knows how to handle
any cell phone based bullying he might receive and that there will be
severe consequences if he uses his phone to bully someone else.

With any luck this will be the weirdest photo your teen has.

Keep Private Information Private
Set up rules about the people to whom he is allowed to give his cell
phone number (hint: only people he already knows in person. Period.).
Talk about how easy it is for someone he doesn’t know to get a hold of
his private information if he isn’t careful about protecting it on his
phone.
You’ve had a similar talk already when you allowed him to start up
his Facebook page. Talk about how the same sorts of rules apply to
phones, too.

Overages
Have a plan in place for what will happen if your teenager goes over
his minute and text quota. Will you have him pay you for it out of his
allowance or money he earns at an after-school job? Will you have him
work it off with chores around the house?
Quotas are more likely to be respected if there are consequences for
surpassing them. Talk to your teenager about what is a fair punishment,
but make sure this talk happens ahead of time so that he knows in
advance that there will be consequences for breaking the rules.

The more open you are with the communication, the less you are going
to have to worry that your teenager is going to do something
life-alteringly stupid…because, obviously there will be at least a few
dumb things done with that phone—that’s just how teenagers roll. If you
keep the lines of communication open, though, you should be able to
build a level of trust that allows you to sleep soundly at night…as
soundly as the parent of a teenager can sleep, anyway.

Good luck!

Contributor: Erin Steiner is a full-time freelance writer who
covers a variety of topics for a wide range of websites including, but
not limited to, Reputation.com.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Studies have shown that teens will engage in less risky behavior when there is more family involvement at home.

In a world where there never seems to be enough time to get
everything done, connecting with your kids and forming real, lasting
relationships with them can seem more difficult than ever. There are
ways to bolster your connection to your kids and find ways of fostering
strong relationships, though, even when time is at a premium. These tips
can help you make the most of your relationship with your children,
laying the groundwork for an environment of love, close bonds and trust.

Turn Screen Time into Family TimeInstead of retiring to separate rooms at the end of the day to zone
out in front of different screens, why not take the chance to turn
screen time into family time? Arrange regular family movie nights, get
invested in an age-appropriate show that everyone in the family can
discuss and bring family game night into the 21st century with party-style video games that encourage group participation.

Have Dinner Together Regularly
When everyone has their own practices, school and work demands to
attend to, it often seems easier to grab meals where you can and hope
that everyone is having reasonably healthy dinners while they’re on
their own. However, kids from families who regularly eat meals together
at the family table tend to perform better in school, are less likely to
be involved in teen pregnancies, are less likely to experiment with
drugs, alcohol and smoking and are more likely to finish high school
than those who eat alone or in front of the television. Even if you
struggle to carve out time for your family meals and rely on
pre-packaged convenience food, make a point of having dinner together at
the dinner table at least once each week.

Start Your Own Book Club
Books like the Harry Potter franchise and others of their ilk
have mass appeal, drawing in and captivating readers of all ages. The
next time you decide to pick up a book, why not choose one from your
kids’ bookshelves or select a great read from the Young Adult section
that your teenager is interested in reading at the same time? When you
read the same books, you’ll be able to form your own family version of a
book club and find plenty of fodder for conversation at the family
table.

Look for Common Ground
If you and your teenager are both fans of classic rock, make a point
of trading playlists with one another on a regular basis. Talk to your
kids about areas in which you share common ground, and cultivate those
interests. When you’re able to talk about hobbies or activities you both
share, you’re able to connect on an entirely new level. It’s also a
great way to show older kids that you aren’t quite as out of touch as
they imagine.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open
More than anything else, knowing that you’re always there to talk and
that you truly will listen encourages a strong bond between you and
your children. Make sure that your kids know there’s nothing you can’t
or won’t talk about with them, and that you’re always available when
they’re in need of advice, a sounding board or even just to discuss
their day.

Establish a Judgment-Free Zone
Set aside one particular area in your home and call it the
“judgment-free zone.” Let this be the area where your kids can come to
you with any fears, questions or concerns and where they are able to
talk freely, without fear of repercussions or judgmental treatment.
Knowing that you’re not going to scold or judge makes it easier for your
kids to come to you with difficult situations, which will make your
bond that much stronger.

Make Time to Spend Time
Put down your phone, turn off the television and step away from the
computer when your child talks to you. Make eye contact, and listen
intently. Your kids need to know that they’re the most important part of
your life, and that they’re not competing with work or the television
for your attention. Make time to spend time with your kids, and leave
room in your schedule for one-on-one time with each of your children
individually.

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About Me

As a Parent Advocate and Author, my parenting book "Wit's End!" is
now available. Published by the publishers that brought you Chicken Soup
Book Series for the Soul series. Order today at www.witsendbook.com

My next book, Google Bomb, is also available now!
http://www.googlebombbook.com When revenge becomes e-venge many people are finding out how quickly their lives can be taken from them digitally and in real life!

Cyberbullying isn't only for kids, adults can sometimes be worse than teens!

Learn more and be proactive about maintaining your online reputation.

I am also on the Board of Director for Communities in Schools. I volunteer to help empower and keep teens in school. Education is the keys to success in life!