"Anyone who's smart enough to realize that gay marriage and abortion should not be politicized should be the ones running for office."

Why should anyone worry about two issues that don't reproduce future generations? Why should anyone worry about who is going to support Social Security in the future? Let's just ban reproduction all together.

If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

I personally know of two designated "crack babies" allowed to be adopted by a gay male couple in the early 90s. One of these throwaway children -- a precious fetus that lived only to be unwanted by anyone else, all you "pro-lifers" -- is now a beautiful, brilliant honor student at at Upper West Side private school, only because no straight people would have her. "The culture of life" would answer that how? Of course there is no answer.

"I'm a comedian, but in my spare time, things bother me." Garry Shandling