A New App Called Splitsville Puts a Positive Spin on Divorce

Though same-sex marriage is now legal throughout much of the country and domestic partnerships are more and more common, there is one relationship status that still carries a social stigma: “divorced.” Often, feelings of failure accompany the dissolution of a marriage, and news of a divorce is usually met with expressions of sympathy and condolences, not celebration.

Or at least that was the experience of Tara Averill, an advertising and production veteran who, contemplating a separation from her now ex-husband a few years ago, found reactions to her ambivalence unsettling. “When I talked to friends about it, everyone kept telling me to try and stay married, even though I would tell them I was unhappy,” she says. Looking for a different perspective, she found herself Googling sentences like, “I love my husband but I don’t want to be married to him anymore,” and pulling up unsatisfying results. Inspired by sites like UrbanBaby, where parents who live in metropolitan cities can discuss and share parenting tips and questions with one another, Averill decided to create Splitsville, a community-centered app and website about divorce.

“There are all these sites that prepare you for major life events: The Bump, The Nest, The Knot,” Averill says. “I wanted to do the same, but for divorce.” After she moved out of her home, she found herself having to start from scratch. “I had to buy everything. The toaster, the sofa, even the utensils,” she remembers. While talking to a friend who was also getting divorced, the two joked that the hypothetical website should be called “The Divorce Store,” and should service people who need guidance on what to buy after moving out. But that idea was quickly scrapped. She eventually landed on “Splitsville”—it had a lighthearted tone, and it didn’t include the intimidating “D word.”

Launched a couple of months ago, Splitsville offers practical advice for people going through all manner of breakups with a specific emphasis on divorce, and includes editorial stories that suggest everything from what to do with your kids on weekends to tips for decorating a new home you’ve just moved into to how to date after a marriage. The site also provides access to community chats, which Averill says can be helpful for people who might have exhausted their friends and family. All user profiles are anonymous, so people who are still married and contemplating divorce can seek advice freely—much like Averill tried to do years ago—and get objective feedback from strangers who are already on the other side of the tunnel.

Much like **Gwyneth Paltrow’**s introduction of the term “conscious uncoupling,” what sets Splitsville apart, says one of the app’s subscribers, is its positive tone—it emphasizes the upside, not the downside, of divorce. “It just flips divorce on its head,” he explains. “The voice and the tone of the site; it’s snappy and uplifting. And it’s a more contemporary take on divorce, which is what I think everyone needs today.” A Splitsville’s user, now in the middle of a divorce, shared on one of the app’s chats that he was having trouble with his lawyer. “I asked if anyone had a recommendation or some kind of advice and someone on the site mentioned men sometimes do better with a female attorney,” he said. “And I have to admit, once I switched attorneys, it definitely worked and was a massive game-changer.”

Averill’s experience of her parents' “incredibly messy” divorces may have played a part in her decision to create the outlet, she says. (In case you’re wondering, she’s been separated for three years now, and still has a healthy relationship with her ex.) Or perhaps it was listening to Louis C.K.—whom she cites as her divorce hero, and who famously said in a stand-up special, “Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it's true, because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. It's really that simple.”