A Desire for Total Union, Total Impact: Mary Gaitskill, author of the short story Secretary was based on, explains what she thinks people get out of BDSM. I explain why her opinion makes me crazy.

Discovering My Inner Victorian: I work out my preferred (and in retrospect, obvious) style of power exchange. [Included are many quotes from various essays by people in English-style hierarchical relationships.]

Joan Ferguson is Not the Domme You’re Looking For: An update to a two-year-old post about Joan Ferguson from Wentworth, who originally appears to possess excellent qualities of a D-type, but eventually reveals a host of red flags, which is useful as a cautionary tale. Also: What Joan would be like as a Domme, had things gone differently.

Kink Fixed Me: A post about how working out I was kinky changed (to the good) how I viewed my sexuality and myself.

Submissive Rite of Passage or Two (A): My first experience being judged by a kinky person and being told by a stranger that I wasn’t submissive (by their standards)–both important moments in any kinksters life.

Hyenas: The Ultimate Kink Mascot: Honey badgers are the number one BAMF, but I argue hyenas are the best mascot for FemDom, trans and gender non-conforming people and enthusiastic consent.

Joan Ferguson is Not the Domme You’re Looking For: An update to a two-year-old post about Joan Ferguson from Wentworth, who originally appears to possess excellent qualities of a D-type, but eventually reveals a host of red flags, which is useful as a cautionary tale. Also: What Joan would be like as a Domme, had things gone differently.

Returning to My Original State: How kink has helped me face a not-so-brilliant childhood and stop using a coping mechanism I’d had in place for fifteen years.

Submissive Rite of Passage or Two (A): My first experience being judged by a kinky person and being told by a stranger that I wasn’t submissive (by their standards)–both important moments in any kinksters life.

Outing

Outing: The Nuclear Option: Why outing is a consent violation, why you shouldn’t do it, how to protect yourself from being outed and what to do if you are outed.

Pageism

My Kink Could Be Your Kink: Re-examining a long-held, personal definition of an individual kink (pageism) in light of the BDSM tradition of being inclusive rather than exclusive.

The Pageist Introduces Herself: The first two essays I wrote about pageism–what it means to me and how mine evolved over the twelve years between the two essays.

Power Exchange

Discovering My Inner Victorian: I work out my preferred (and in retrospect, obvious) style of power exchange. [Included are many quotes from various essays by people in English-style hierarchical relationships.]