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struggles

My path often gets blurry when I take my eyes off of the one who directs my steps. I can blame it on others, location, and circumstance all I want, but in the end I know it’s on me. Maybe it’s a sense of over confidence, where I think “it’s ok God I’ve got this, things are great right now you can take a break I can take it from here.” Silly me to think I can expect growth when I’m in control, it’s more of a rough current when I think I’m in charge. Boy have I been stuck in a current lately, literally being pushed under, and turned around by crashing waves. Oh and those waves… they aren’t God’s fault, but brought on by me because I’m driving the boat that’s causing the wake. (Hope nobody is getting seasick by my metaphors 😉 I get so frustrated with myself for having to constantly pull over and refocus. Even more so, when I remember that God allows me to go through this; He is such a good good father that He doesn’t force me to move over. He patiently waits, and softly nudges me to remind me that things are better when I’m not directing my own life. I feel guilt for times my trust is lacking, because He stands by through it all. Though I wedge a gap between us, His love for me is the same. How amazing is God that he still loves us even when we have days where we act like we don’t need God! There is never a time where we don’t need God, so how can I act like that?! It doesn’t mean trusting God will always be easier, but He knows our every thought & move before we do…He allows us to drift off to realize we need to readjust our focus and lean back on Him. He’s always in control even when I think I’m in control. He wants us to trust in His timing. He wants us to stay planted in faith; where we are currently, as we are. We don’t have to “clean house” before God can work in our lives, He loves us even though we are so unworthy.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30

“For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for peace” Ephesiams 3:1-8