Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

Don't let that get you down, OP! Use it as motivation to get fit! Also, a great way to get started is by walking around your neighborhood. It's exercise and it's not super hard on your joints and stuff.