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Name: Bobby KellerCategory: Human, Possessed, HallucinationAge: 17Origin: UnknownHabitat: Dreams of Coleman Ettinger. (For the information on whereabouts of Bobby's physical body - see Coleman Ettinger)General Description: Bobby’s body was possessed by the mind of 67-year-old Coleman Ettinger during Coleman’s bizarre experiments with dreams and altered states of mind. Bobby’s mind became trapped in the land of dreams. What’s worse is that these were the dreams of an old man – the most exciting thing that usually happened there was some old lady packing her bags behind the window.NOTE: Reports that Bobby wanted to stay in the dream land while Coleman was taking his body and his girlfriend for a ride make no sense whatsoever, and I dismiss them as something Coleman came up with to explain his rather questionable behavior...Friends, Associates, and Sidekicks: DingerSworn Enemies: NoneSpecial Powers: Ability to haunt the dreams of Coleman EttingerWeapons of Choice: NoneWeaknesses:Lainie DiamondHobbies: Styling his hair with massive ammounts of mousse, checking out Lainie DiamondPet Peeves: Seeing his own body possessed by some old dude making out with Lainie DiamondBest Lines:1) When you pack, leaving usually tends to follow.2) He! That’s the way I laugh. You know – He!3) I like it here. It’s… Well… It’s dreamy… If you catch my drift. Ha-ha4) This is your sick dream. And I’ll tell you one thing – you have some deep seated psychological problems, man.5) Hey, pops! Welcome to dreamland.Total Estimated Power Rating: 73 Intellect Points + 3 Base Physical Strength Points + 1 Additional Point for extreme dancing skillsDanger Level: Non-existent. Bobby is as bad as Michael Jackson in the “(I’m) Bad” music video, only less coordinated.Identification: If you dream of a young man wearing heavily accessorized 80s outfit with long heavily moussed black hair – you are dreaming of Bobby Keller. Why you are dreaming of him is another question.How to Avoid: Do not experiment with altered states of mind and try to generally avoid possessing other people’s bodies. This way there will be no reason for Bobby to haunt you.Suggested Actions in Case of Encounter: Wake upSuggested Killing Techniques: First things first, you need to decide what exactly you want to kill – Bobby’s body or Bobby’s mind? If it is his body you are after – see Coleman Ettinger. If you are after his mind however, then it’s a little more complicated... because technically he is kind of already dead… or something like that…Additional Character Images:

7 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Oh, wow! Bobby Keller is so hot! I wish he could have the ability to to sweet-talk villains into trance-like state with just a few well thought out and sultrily delivered compliments, just like Vicki Vale in Batman; that could be so cool, not to mention useful!

OMG! Somebody is actually reading this stuff... :)You are the first person in the past year to have actually posted a comment... Now the flood gates are open and my Inbox will be always full with comments from grateful readers... or not...

Anyways – let me know if you want to vote Bobby Keller back from the oblivion and make him eligible to participate in the March 2008 beauty contest.

Actually, Bobby should be brought back and participate in the beauty contest. I vote him Beauty King any day. He's so hot!(And I wish he had really cool powers, like taking on the Master from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and winning.)

Wow. Bobby Keller is definitely one good-looking guy. I wish he could have the ability to to sweet-talk villains into a trance-like state with just a few well thought out and sultrily delivered compliments, like Vicki Vale in the 1989 film Batman. In my mind, that could be a great and very useful ability to have... ;)