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First we get a WHAM BAM NO MORE LAHM, and now Gerrard?!?!? I refuse to accept reality! But I guess it’s official. The 34-year-old English captain has announced that he is hanging up his international boots after 114 caps. However, he plans to stay involved in the FA, and he will still play for Liverpool. If it wasn’t for my upcoming photo shoot, I would go to my pantry and eat my feelings and cry over Gerrard’s departure. So let’s analyze the German turn-up instead…

The Mannschaft boys partied so hard with their World Cup trophy that they chipped off a small piece. Luckily for them, the trophy is only a replica of the original. Wolfgang Niersbach, the president of the German Football Federation, stated that despite intensive investigation, the perpetrator remains a mystery. The team was all over social media posting pictures of them and their loved ones manhandling the award. Could it have been Boateng’s kisses? Or better yet, could it have been Sergio Ramos breaking into the locker room for five minutes and dropping it like he dropped the Copa del Rey two years ago??

Enough said.

Umm, how do you expect the poor trophy to remain intact?!

To me this looks like Lahm tried to fist pump with the trophy

Even Rihanna got her hands on it

Yes, Poldi, we see it

Patrice Evra is leaving Manchester United on loan for Juventus, but Louis van Gaal plans to bring Borussia Dortmund defender Mats Hummels over to keep his defense in line! Little Álvaro Morata also ditched Real Madrid for Juventus.

Speaking of these breakups and makeups, will Ancelotti flaunt new arm candy later and make everyone in the world jealous?! I’m talking about James Rodriguez. I guess Real Madrid has decided to dish out a whole bunch of money –the number varies across different news sources so I won’t say a specific figure until the deal goes through – to buy his love. Now that we’re on the James topic…

According to 75% of FIFA.com voters, this boy’s World Cup goal against Uruguay was the best of the tournament. The second best was Robin van Persie’s Superman goal against Spain. Congrats, man!