(Closed) Any other brides out there just not give a f*ck?

I just got a call (its almost 1am here in Tokyo) from some jackdick at my wedding venue asking what color of red I wanted the linens on the backs of the chairs to be.

He wants to know what color of red.

What color of red.

Color. Of. Red.

I know there is a time difference, and while he was being polite and everything… I mean c’mon, really? What color of red? How many colors of red are there? So anyway… I was just being facetious (or pissy if I’m being honest) and I said, ‘Lets see. How about blood red. Not like, papercut blood, but double homicide crime scene multiple stab wounds blood red.’ and he didn’t really find it funny.

I’ve been telling these people from the jump that I just don’t care about any of this. What kind of flowers? Red ones. But which kind? Roses. But which kind? The kind that’s a flower and that’s more often than not referred to as ‘rose’.

I’ve been forced to learn things that I’ve never would have voluntarily learned in my life because of these people. Like the difference between Organza and Tulle. Why a birdcage veil is different than a cathedral veil. I don’t want to have the knowlege.

And holy Jesus… am I wearing my hair up or down?

It seems like the more I tell these people that I don’t care, the more they bother me with ridiculous crap.

If I were say, making a presentation for my boss – and he said do whatever you want, about whatever you want, in whatever style you want, with whatever supplies you want… here’s my credit card…… I’d be freaking thrilled. But its like they think I’m lying when I say that I really don’t care.

If I showed up on my wedding day and the entire thing was themed around The Little Mermaid, I wouldn’t care. If you served pizza rolls and jalepeno poppers for appetizers… I wouldn’t care. I’m only doing this because I have to, and I’ve made it very clear to them.

Can someone please tell me how to explain to them (perhaps a bit more eloquently) that I really am tired of planning and whatever they come up with will be ok, and in a way that they actually concede the point? Literally, they have my credit card number, charge me for whatever you need… just quit asking me for details.

I’m being completely serious. I really want them to stop and I think I am by nature too big of an asshole to get that point across in a sincere way.

I’m with you. I have a hard time blaming the vendors though, I think this is fallout from detail obsessed Bridezillas who devolve into hysterics over things like the wrong shade of red or the wrong kind of rose. After some of the ludicrous shit I’ve heard when planning, I think being in the wedding service industry must be a singularly crappy job. They probably feel like “I don’t care” is a trick.

I saw your previous post where you said the venue has a planner that you’re working with but she is still asking you for all kinds of details. Since it sounds like money isn’t an issue maybe you could hire someone independent to make all the decisions for you? Since you legit don’t care and I understand why the venue would be worried that you’d hate what they do since most people do care, maybe a third party would help.

But is that a *real* thing? I’ve heard of bridezillas and of course some women care about certain things more than others… I just assumed it was something exaggerated for entertainments sake on movies and tv… but are there really women out there who want a vendor to call them and speak at length about exactly what shade of red a piece of fabric should be thats no bigger than 8×12 inches long? Are there really people in the world that this kind of thing matters to?

I’ve never met someone like that. I hope I never do cause within 5 minutes I’m going to cherrybomb them in the taint.

I agree with PP, it’s the Bridezilla thing that scares many vendors from believing that you will really be okay at the end of the day as long as you end up married. I just keep repeating that and it seems to get the point across.

Usually repeatedly stating what *is* important to you (getting married) will get them to lay off the stuff that isn’t important to you (what shade of red).

@kittenbojangles: lol if you read through this board carefully enough you’ll find brides like that. even if they’re not nasty about their opinions, they’ve very particular and really care about the differences between shades of color and all that.

I would find someone to be your go-between. Tell them that you REALLY don’t care, that it is super stressful for you to answer all the stupid questions, and that they are in charge. Good luck!

Maybe you could just send them some pictures and say “I like this, when in doubt, consult the picture” and ask that instead of calling, because of the time difference, they just send you a weekly email with any questions they haven’t been able to sort out on their own?

Alternatively, you could just start answering all their questions with, “Surprise me!” 🙂

Also, maybe explain to your venue’s planner that your “dream wedding” is one where you just show up. Make sure you use the phrase “dream wedding.”

@CaliHoya: See now I just feel bad. If they’re really like this because they’ve been treated like crap by some vapid useless twat in the past then I get it. But still. I can’t even pay these people to leave me alone.

I would have hired a 3rd party, but since it’s some stupid yacht company they only work with ‘their people’.

@kittenbojangles: lol you crack me up. i saw your previous post and i feel like i want to be your friend IRL lol. why even have colors then? just get some tables and eat. I don’t know how to tell them you don’t care. I would just say “I don’t care. You don’t have to call and ask, you’re gonna get the same answer every time. I don’t care.”

I really don’t give a damn about any of it to be honest. At the end of the day, I want to a) be married and b) be full of delicious food and good wine. I don’t care about colors or themes or a big poufy dress or flowers or favors or centerpieces or chairs. And I refuse, 100%, to learn about stuff I don’t care about.

So we’re getting married at the courthouse and having a big fancy dinner with a small number of people we love. AND I am having the boy plan it. I just don’t care at all.

@littlemisst08: Ironically, the cake is the ONLY thing I care about. Im still trying to convince them to let me pay extra for an extra tier so I can use it in the ‘trash the dress’ party we’re having the next day.