4/04/2011

what flavors are in a tropical smoothie?

i was perusing the SONIC menu and couldn't figure out the answer to that question ... time for a call to the 800 number.

i got a very industrious call center operator, but after a fair amount of holding was told, "we don't give that information out."

"you don't?"

"no sir."

"okay. so let's say i'm allergic to mango. how do i know if this drink has mango in it?"

"well, you would know from your reaction to the drink and you could file a complaint. would you like me to file a complaint for you?"

uh, no. what i'd really like to know is what flavors are in a tropical smoothie because i don't like banana and i know you're already slipping some into your strawberry-banana smoothie ... and the tropical one does look yellow in the picture ... in fact you could think of there being a spectrum of smoothie color from tropical to strawberrywith strawberry-banana in the middle ... and you know what that could mean for the far end.

unfortunately this conversation has just taken a strange turn. at this current conversational glide path we're about three sentences away from a thumb in chili conversation. and you can bet it's gone midnight wherever this call dungeon i'm talking to is. we all know that one of the prime reasons you don't wander the streets of places like atlanta and oklahoma city after midnight is because you might stumble across call center people out on the streets.

"that's not necessary. thank you for your time."

oh DAMMIT! i just now realized i should have asked, "well, can you tell me what flavors are in a strawberry smoothie, or is that too a secret?" you can tell it's not my witching hour yet.

***

{6 minute later addendum:
you can call off the guard dogs. the answer is: pineapple, banana and coconut (noting that coconut is a coconut flavoring that does not contain real coconut). now i'm not calling the 800 number to say, "do you realize that your corporate 'secret' is actually in full view on your web page even though your operators didn't look in that spot and then tried to bluff through an answer to b1-66er?" but you'd certainly have my blessing if you did.}