My “NO” is enough

I can say “No”. I don’t have to give excuses. I don’t have to come up with explanations about why such and such is not good enough. My “No” is enough. If I don’t want what you are selling, I can say “No”. I don’t have to give the top 10 reasons. I don’t have to go over and over why I just can’t do it today. I don’t have to lie to you. I don’t have to make my schedule sound busier than it is. My “No” is enough.

If I don’t want a new dishwasher, I don’t have to have one. If I don’t want a subscription to Vogue, I don’t have to have one. If I don’t want to buy those shoes, even though you think they are perfect for me, I don’t have to. I am not going to give you false hope that tomorrow I may change my mind.

If I don’t want to go out with you, I don’t have to act sorry when I am not. If I said “No, but thanks for asking.” That’s it. That is the end of the conversation. Bye bye. You weren’t the one for me. We are two different people. That’s okay. I am not going to avoid you here on out because I feel guilty for not liking you like that.

I am not guilty. I don’t have to ask for forgiveness. I don’t have to repent. I have nothing to confess. (Of course I am not talking about sin-work with me here).

I said “no” to the timeshare, the college, the subscription, the car, the book, the idealogy, the revelation, the class, the small group, the guy, the girl, the restaurant, the food, the drawing, the commercial, the movie, the package, the church, the overtime, the sin, the devil, the offer, the dinner, the party, the beer, the dress, the shoes, the hairstyle, the philosophy, the kids at the door selling cookies, the donation to the Lupus foundation, to the military, the career, the job, the money (oh wait, I don’t think I have ever said “no” to money-scratch that.), the camp, the opportunity, the vacation, playing the lottery, smoking, doing drugs. I SAID “NO”. I said “no” and it felt wonderful.

Would you rather I lie to your face?

“Oh, of course, I would love to go out with you!” and then later you hear from all my girlfriends that I can’t stand the thought of you?

“Oh, well, since you put it that way, I would love to buy your timeshare.” and then later I am in crazy debt because I can’t get rid of the darn thing?

“Sure, let’s have lunch” and then I kick myself the rest of the week because you always gossip and lie when we have lunch and now my head is full of your crap?

“Oh, that sounds like a wonderful religion to be apart of” and then you move to Waco, Texas and the rest is history (as are you)?

I am not saying you are suppose to say “No” to everything. I am not saying to be selfish, arrogant, rude, opinionated, prideful, stingy, or conceited.

I love when a telemarketer calls and my mom picks up the phone. She will stop them mid-sentence and ask, “Is it okay to say ‘No'”? Of course, they have to say “yes”, to which she will reply, “Oh good. Then “no” . I don’t want what you are offering today”.

“No” puts up boundaries. It clarifies where I stop and where you start.

No, you may not come over. No, you can’t talk to me like that. No, you can’t spend the night. No, we are not having sex. No, I am not doing drugs. No, you may not take advantage of me. No, you can’t yell at me. No, you can’t treat me like that. No, I don’t want your stuff in my house. No, I don’t want to give you my address, my phone number, my money, my social security number, my time, my wallet. This is me. That is you. We are different. We are not the same person. I am not buying what you are selling and I don’t have to give you any reasons. It’s your job to sell, not my job to give reasons why I am not buying it. And in fact, the fact that I am not buying actually says more about your inability to sell than my inability to buy. You didn’t do good enough in selling. (ahahahahahha). I know you have to put food on the table with the commission you would get if I bought but I have to put food on my table and I can’t do that if I am buying everything you are selling.

If I am not buying what you are selling, that’s your problem, not mine.