Called Shots: Is That Tim Lincecum or Sarah Palin?

Tim Lincecum was named to the All-Star team on Sunday, which reminded me of my encounter with his pops on a recent Friday night in Kirkland, Wash.

I jokingly asked Chris Lincecum, “When’s your kid going to get a haircut?”

Chris’ reply: “How’s he pitching?”

Good point.

Just make sure he doesn’t fall for any chick named Delilah.

Speaking of women who emasculate powerful men…John McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, surprisingly stepped down as governor of Alaska on Friday. No truth to the rumor that Brad Childress already has contacted her about making a comeback next year in Minnesota.

Speaking of Palin…Her successor, Sean Parnell, called her “Alaska’s greatest gift to our country.” He might get an argument from fans of Carlos Boozer, Curt Schilling, and Tommy Moe.

Speaking of national institutions…The Supreme Court is going to decide once and for all whether the NFL is a single business entity entitled to antitrust protection. While they’re at it, can they reverse the decision on Super Bowl XL?

Speaking of controversial…Chad Johnson (no, we won’t ever refer to him by his bogus new last name) apparently is all a-Twitter about Tweeting during Cincinnati’s games this coming season. But we’re pretty sure the NFL will do its own tweeting and blow the whistle on that idea pretty quick.

Speaking of guys with name issues…Yao Ming, Houston’s 7'6" center, has missed 91games over the past four seasons and now might miss at least 82 more over the next year-plus. You know, the big guy might stay healthier if he changed his name so it doesn’t rhyme with Ow Ding.

Speaking of owies…Andy Roddick has pulled out of the Davis Cup citing a hip flexor. Apparently he pulled it while congratulating Roger Federer after their marathon 16-14 fifth set at Wimbledon. So all Federer got from Roddick was a “Hip...hooray.”

Speaking of bad hips…Phil Jackson’s are apparently healthy enough for him to return for another season at the helm of the Lakers. He might be healthy, but his announcement resulted in a lot of sprained ankles from people jumping back on the Lakers’ bandwagon.

Speaking of the NBA champs…As if Kobe Bryant weren’t reason enough to dislike the Lakers, they now are about to sign his recent arch-nemesis, Ron Artest. And there’s your cast for the sequel to Public Enemies.

Speaking of people getting robbed…Coach Sean Payton, QB Drew Brees, DE Charles Grant, and former QB Archie Manning were among the New Orleans Saints who recently lost a total of about $2 million investing in Louisiana Film Studios. We’re guessing Payton won’t be using that company for game film next season.

Speaking of better coaching…Payton, Brees, and company should have sought advice from Matthew Stafford, who just was guaranteed $42 million by the Detroit Lions. Who better to ask financial advice of than Matthew, patron saint of money managers?

Speaking of investments… It really doesn’t make much sense that Joe Ricketts is buying the Chicago Cubs. You’d think the founder of a company called TD Ameritrade would be more interested in a football team.

Two former sports reporters freed from the constraints of traditional print media write about the hot topics on both the Seattle and national sports scene. No deadlines, no word count, no press box decorum—we're Outside The Press Box.