Wednesday, August 19, 2009

10 People Worse than Mike Vick.

URGENT MESSAGE:

I received an actual death threat via the blog yesterday in the comments section (feel free to read it). Someone threatened to kill me at the next Penn reunion if I post another post and said things to the effect of "your life is done." This is not only not cool, but criminal. I'm no snitch, so I'll simply say if the blog is that offensive than you should probably check out http://www.mylifesaflic.blogspot.com/ instead, as it is less racially and politically charged, but also funny as hell. Anyways, I'm still blogging and say hey "If it's my time to go, it's my time to go. I might as well die for something I believe in. The art of writing." Paz,Show.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am an avid Philadelphia Eagles fan, as well as a purveyor of conspiracy theories and black power rhetoric whenever I'm not off engaging in drunken revelery with my frat brothers and forgetting I am not white. LOL. This being said, HOW COULD I NOT OFFER MY 7 Cents on the reinstatement of Michael Vick.

Yes, yes Muthaf**kas. Burn the herb, Vick's a bird.

Now, before everyone gets their Eagle feathers and Victorias Secret Panties in a bunch I think I should clear the air. I am aware that this year people seem to care about animals more than they do abortion, religion in schools or whatever the trendy topics of discussion may be. I am in no way shape or form saying that I do not condone what Mike Vick did, I am however, admiting that in doing so, he really screwed himself. I know this is going to piss everyone off, but like I said, I like to keep it 100 and am not intentionally trying to say offensive shit. It just so happens I am a moderately offensive person. LOL.

Now that I have your attention and you've all been briefed, I want to ask...how many of you even like Pitbulls? Would you ever own one? Would you leave it around your child?

Now....let me ask you this. Do you like roaches Mr. or Miss Animal Lover? What makes an insect so different from any other living breathing organism? LOL. I'm just f**king with yall. I hate roaches and used to watch pitbulls eat gun powder and hot sauce before fighting each other when I was a kid. What? I'm from the inncer city. Bite me (no pun intended.)

All jokes and insensitivity aside, my problem is not with people loving animals. If you love them, fine. It's cool. All to the good. However, there is no way that any self respecting human being would agree that animals are as valuable as human life...(sidenote: Mike Vick has given away 2 years of valuable human life on account of dog fighting.) If you do believe domesticated animals and humans are equals than why can't you f**k them? Haha. there is no point of contention for that!

As with most things, I believe that peoples strong feelings toward my boy M. Dot stem from their own ignorance of the actual situation. Lets say f**k the fact that he's paid his debt to society. I can name many things worse than dog fighting, (including poverty and world hunger), but f**k that...I'm gonna focus on the ones that b**ches (male or female) care about. Since they're the ones hatin' on Ol' boy Vick-James the NFL superfreak (pause.)

Here goes...

Would you want your mom raped? Your Dad murdered by mobsters? You brother run over by a Drunk Driver? Your sister beaten up by her boyfriend? Your uncle paralyzed by a stray bullet? Your cousin subjected to racial slurs and spit upon? NO. Unless you are a sick f**k you will say no, as all of these things are UNDOUBEDETLY Worse than fighting dogs. Now here comes the NHB's shedding light on the darkness of ignorance. Oh, you weren't aware their are players in the NBA, NFL and MLB accused of and convicted of all the following acts??? Exactly. Leave my dog Vick alone and go harass them.

Showrocka Presents: Sure Vick was an Asshole, but These Guys are Worse!!!

10. O.J. Simpson (NFL)

Lets assume O.J. was guilty for a second. If this was true, he would have murdered his freakin wife, whom he had previously physically abused, over her seeing another man! Worse than Dog fighting? I think so.

9. Mike Tyson (IBC)

This guy....I can't front, I used to love him (pause). I even idolized Mike to the point where I wanted to be like him rather than the old basketball playing Mike with the gay gold hoop earring. Nevertheless, Mike did (supposedly) rape Robin Givens. I think she was a kineving gold digger, but, I refuse to believe that a man of Mike's stature couldn't overpower a small dansel in distress. No means no. Whether "Roof-Roof" equals "no" cannot be verified. For all we know it could equal consent.

8. Bill Romanowski (NFL)

I am amused by racially charged humor but find nothing funny about racism....well, I don't find racism THAT FUNNY. Lol. Bill romanoski's racist punk ass was caught ON TELEVISION using racial slurs and spitting on opponents. He also took steroids and, according to our Nappyheaded Sports Analyst C4: "he once spit on jj stokes and called him a nigger, broke a teammates jaw in practice, and popped pills like weezy." Nuff said. Shall I continue?

7. Pacman Jones (NFL)

Boy meets Girl. Girl is a stripper. Boy makes it rain on girl, expecting to recieve his money back (WTF?) . Girl picks up money. Boy punches her in the head repeatedly. Boy gets escorted from club. Bouncer gets shot and is consequently paralyzed.

Yep. All this went down and Pacman served no time in jail. In his defense he wasn't the trigger man, was banned from the NFL for a year AND had to have a personal chaperone once he was admitted back in. Check the video of him making it rain before the altercation.

As any self respecting slut will tell you, "just because a girl is a hoe does not mean she wasn't raped." As any wealty, self-respecting athlete will tell you, "just because I am guilty, does not mean my lawyers can't beat the case". That is all.

5. Joe Dimaggio (MLB)

Guess what? Joe Diamaggio was admittedly in the Mob! This, my friends, is confirmed as he retired from baseball in 1951 only to immediately recieve a trust fund in his name from big time mobster Frank Costello. He also used to beat the shit out of his wife, Marilyn Monroe. Now that's just criminal in and of itself!!

4. Ty Cobb (MLB)

This ni**a was hated so much that only 4 players showed up at his funeral. He admitedly killed a mugger in an alley, a story which many believe to be false, but which is unverifyable. Newsflash: If you kill a man you're an ass. If you don't kill a man, and still say you did, you're still an ass!!! Oh yea, he was also afilliated with the KKK and once beat his wife for asking him to stop assulting the black groundskeeper. If it was Groundskeeper Willie (instead of Groundskeeper Willie-Mays) he would've fu*ked Ty Cobb up. LOL.

3. Albert Hanesworth (NFL)

Hanyesworth, rather than fight dogs, decided to kick a human being like one while he was on the ground. After kicking off his opponents helment, he then dug his cleat into the man's eye. No time served, however he did pay a hefty fine and sit out for like half the season.

2. Dante Stallworth (NFL)

Thank god Dante didn't do anything too bad like Michael Vick's dog fighting ass. Oh wait...contrary to what his prision sentence of 30 days says, he ran a man over while driving his 2005 Bentley drunk at 7:00 am. Seems like the right sentence since he said he was sorry. 30 days for Stallworth killing a latino man, 23 months for Vick for killing a Dog. Tell me they weren't making an example of Vick and I will say fine, "the judge values the life of a dog more than that of a minority."

1. David Justice (MLB)

No black, or white man for that matter, can forgive the sin that Dave Justice comitted. THIS NI**A BEAT UP HIS WIFE HALLE BERRY!!! Not only is domestic violence not cool, he f**ked up the sexual fantasies of millions of men across the globe. I mean she's so fine she has a song about her! What have you ever done (aside from you accomplishments with the Braves)? You insensitive prick. We should stick you in a cage with the Vick dogs!

So there you have it. I know that 10 wrongs don't make a right, but I am simply urging you all to consider Vick a rehabilitated man who was paid his debt to society. Nah, Nah (Anwar Voice)...F**k that. We should start retroactively putting these other coons in jail for the monkey shit they got away with scott free (with the exception of O.J.). I told you playa, they were gonna leave you alone becuase of the Double Jeapordy rule, but then you went and wrote that "If I did it" book. Fool.

OK, this post is getting long so I'm gonna end it with a toast of parton for the newest Philadelphian, Michael Vick.

3 comments:

Anonymous
said...

you gotta get kobe off that list. . .bitch had sex with 3 dudes in 2 days, you REALLY think he raped her? Or you think its possible after the sex he was like peace and she realized that he wasnt going to wifey her and she decided to try and get some money out of him?