We suspect there are little bladders lining the pants, to collect all the crotch sweat. It would explain the shape. It would not, however, explain the shape of that thing covering her breasts, which looks like something she picked up off the floor of a tire shop.

Joking aside, we actually like the pants a little. They could be the start of something edgy and kickass, so long as you paired them with the right shoes and top. Some YSL cage booties and a boxy, brightly colored crop top could really take this somewhere.

And swamp boob to go with! Yikes this is hugely unflattering to her. I absolutely get why she’s wearing it, but its not working.

Chris

I find her so boring. Unlike someone such as Gwen Stefani who used to put together interesting and unusual looks on her own, Miley just wants to grab the most “attention getting” or “unusual” outfit from whatever designer is handy. She never displays any originality or style of her own. I’ve seen Gwen S. wear similar shaped pants and really make them a personal fashion statement. Miley looks like she said “hand me that whole outfit there because I have to be *edgy*.” Yawn.

http://attiresmind.blogspot.com/ Kiltdntiltd

People who really work a style, or styles, effectively can do so because they find a way to always imbue what they choose with their essential self. Simply putting something on like a costume and hoping it will transform, usually doesn’t work out very well.

Chris

Yes, and way back in the “olden” days before designers were handing out thousands of dollars worth of free clothing to anyone walking the red carpet it was easy to see who could pull together a “look” on their own. Madonna and Gwen wore some questionable looks in their early days but they seemed to occur organically. I don’t think anyone else masterminded Gwen’s blue fuzzy bikini top or Madonna’s panty hose hair bows. Gwen always seemed like a better designer in the making because even when she was doing her version of Marilyn she put her own spin on it. Madonna’s was much more of a direct homage than a modern re imagining.

FuhUgh

At least her breasts are covered. I’ll take it at this point.

demidaemon

Agreed. And despite being nearly a leather onesie, it’s kind of lame from a design standpoint.

sugarkane105

“Oh look! Her tongue is in her mouth… She’s just smiling! Her face looks nice this way… AND there it is.”

Honestly, I think she’s making this look work more than it should. But she must have been squeaking in her seat all night long.

Kitten Mittons

The tongue thing has to be reflexive at this point, right? It’s like she was trying, trying, trying to keep it in….and boom.

marlie

And it was a bit half-assed, like even SHE’S over it.;

megohd

EXACTLY!

anneshirley

I agree. I don’t hate this on her. It’s not great, but she’s kind of working it. It is the VMAs after all… And her hair and makeup look good.

Nika E

Meh. Its so so.

Latin Buddy

Give me this outfit rather than the stupid crap Nikki Minaj was wearing

RussellH88

When your outfit presents the possibility of your labia getting wrinkled from sitting in sweat for several hours, you made a poor life decision.

AllisonAndStuff

Swamp crotch is the new stank boot.

RussellH88

I bet she had to trim her vagina of cattails by the end of the night.

sugarkane105

Oh god I’m gonna vomit.

demidaemon

I feel bad because I am rolling in laughter at this. But I really get the sentiment.

Vanessa Reyes

More like Stank Swamp Crotch…ewwww!

Kitten Mittons

Stylist: “What do you wanna wear to the VMA’s, Miley?”

Miley: “Whatevs. As long as it makes my boobs look as tiny as possible, and my thighs look twice their actual size, I’m good. Oh, and I’d like to sweat like a mutha all night long, too.”

Thanks to wisely minimal styling, and no mugging for the camera, this is actually working for me. Color me shocked.

imspinningaround

Me too. I think it has panache, and I love how her hair is styled.

MartyBellerMask

Yes. I like her short hair. Were she wearing extensions, my reaction would be MUCH different.

J. Preposterice

I have that same haircut, and it NEVER looks that awesome. Damn!

Kent Roby

Likewise. After so much sheer and such, this seems fairly conservative to me.

Chuck Barthelme

Meh.

Chuck Barthelme

Or…Of course!

http://www.domesticdisturbia.com/ Christi Wampler

Thank you for saying what we all were thinking.

RescueMe23

She has devolved so much that each time I see her my mind is all “white trash” and “skank.” The clothes just prove my point.

Frankie Carter

God, she bugs.

@Biting Panda

“The 2014 MTV VMAS have been brought to you by Michelin Tires; We’re not just for minivans… Monistat 1; Because no one brings their own yogurt to a party…And Red Bull: Just because you’re bored out of your mind, doesn’t mean you can leave. Next up, more Baby Hookers and and way too much leather for August in LA.”

Kitten Mittons

“Because no one brings their own yogurt to a party”

Is hurl-laughing a thing yet? If not, I think I just invented a new thing.

That’s hilarious.

@Biting Panda

Awe shucks, thanks Kitten.

demidaemon

Between that and Russails comment about trimming cattails from her vagina, I don’t know whether to roll on the floor in a hilarious stupor or run to the toilet.

Kitten Mittons

Maybe roll on the floor in laughter toward the bathroom?

demidaemon

What about the rug burn?

Kitten Mittons

Wear leather clown pants?

demidaemon

I think I sweated enough today, thanks.

nannypoo

Nasty.

Bill Craven

Usually you strap your breasts down to pass as a man: I don’t know why she’s doing it here.

bitchybitchybitchy

Alfred Nobbs meets MC Hammer?

Chattygal

“But what about the crotch sweat?” was the exact thought running through my mind as I scrolled, bless you for picking up on it!

Dany

It’s not so bad. I’ve seen worse from her, and she actually kinda pulls off the punky-rock vibe when she tries.

“Swamp Crotch” is a phrase that makes me shudder.

http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

And yet, I don’t hate it. I’d prefer it with, for example, a pewter silk camisole, or maybe one of those laser cut suede bustiers that Alaia used to do.

Expected. Boring. What should I have for lunch? Bleh. Did I water the hibiscus? Yawn. I hate Mondays.

I will join the “Happy her damn tongue is inside her mouth” bandwagon, though.

teensmom99

This outfit just says to me: “Homelessness is such a problem in our country. How can I care about anything else and waste money when so little would make such a difference . . .” NOT!!

Town

I thought she looked better than she’s looked in a long time last night. I actually liked the look.

Bad Idea Jeans

Leather. Hammer. Pants. Nononononononono! The world where this is considered “chic” is not my world.

deelup

I dream of bondage jeannie.

BLauDGaspode

I assumed she had some kind of diaper on under those pants to collect the sweat. The shape certainly suggests this is possible.

papillon

Boring and it looks uncomfortable. But I think she looks quite chipper which is nice. Ultimately, she’s a cute kid.

Sarah

Project Runway’s new sponsor, Martin Wheel Inner Tubes, would like to present the winner of their Red Carpet: Dress Miley like a Hooker challenge.

demidaemon

Or is it a castoff from the latest Dress Heidi challenge?

marlie

I don’t like this outfit, but at the same time, it works for Miley. It’s a little edgy and sexy and out-there, but it’s still relatively tasteful, and not too attention-seeking.

FibonacciSequins

From the neck up, she looks like a blond Beaver Cleaver in drag.

http://redheadedwolf.wordpress.com/ Laura Renee

Her head looks nice.

J.W.

I don’t know…I keep thinking bicycle tire patch kit…do they even make those any more?

Judy_J

I know exactly what you are referring to.

In_Stitches

Kudos to her for chopping her hair and actually keeping it that way. So many actresses, soon after a short-shorn snipping, swap in a weave or wig. Everyone and everything can seem so tied up into image and artifice…the simple fact that she is committed to using her real hair time and again means something. It so small, but…I don’t know, it resonates for me.

The look? It’s problematic. I think if they kept the volume around the waist but tailored the legs in a bit, it would be infinitely chicer.

StrandedFashionista

Weirdly I do not hate this look. Something must be wrong with me, right?

Synnae

No I agree with you, it is actually a pretty good look for the venue. The pants are genuinely interesting and while I agree with TLo on the top, it works for Miley. And to be honest, she is wearing something that does not inform me about her bikini wax so I am happy just for that…

StrandedFashionista

Oh good. I’m glad that I don’t have to check myself into taste-rehab!

Jacqueline Wessel

Considering how she has looked previously, I think this looks pretty good especially considering the venue. That bra-top needs to be redesigned though. It doesn’t really need that folded over cuff thing.

Judy_J

I took a vow that I would never comment again on a Miley post, but dadgummit, here I go. And exactly what set me off? The safety pin earring. How original.

MaryMcClelland

Sadly, compared to what we’re used to seeing, I actually thought this was an OK look.

Janet B

Must be in a Monday morning fog….
The pants are great for her at this venue, I don’t get why these would be worse than any other leather pants.

All things considered I think this outfit is pretty good. I do agree cage booties might have been a better choice of footwear.

Julz

Is there actually a jewelry line that makes a safety pin style earring or did she just improvise that?

Qitkat

Somehow I have no trouble at all imagining MIley saying to herself, damn I need another earring, and jamming a safety pin through her ear, making a new hole, wiping up the dripping blood on the way out the door.

Julz

LOL!

http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ Alicia

Several – some even have diamonds in them! Not to say that she didn’t improvise, but you can actually buy them.

Boulderista

Am I alone in wishing that Miley and Tay had traded outfits? That romper might’ve worked on Miley and this clownsuit might be more interesting on Ms. Swift

ballerinawithagun

I love those pants! Maybe in a different fabric though.

CT14

Her boobs have an awning.

AnneElliot

Her hair looks nice. That’s all I’ve got. Otherwise, this looks relatively tame compared to the horror that was Kim Kardashian’s outfit.

AceOn6

The look screams “Look. I don’t have boobs. I’m just like a model.” I doubt that was her intention.

Dreamwr8tr

Shrug. I’d change the top out just because it’s not flattering and boob sweat and crotch sweat at the same time is too much.

Imasewsure

I’m happy I’m not alone in kind of digging the potential for those pants… tire shop top is ugly and boring… don’t understand what she is doing with her feet but I don’t hate the shoes

yayito83

totally agree, but still I think she looked better than most

Evil Edie

The pants are fierce! But the top looks sad. And sweaty.

txngyrrl

That outfit needed the jacket.

gitchygitchymama

oh hey that’s what her face from last year – ya know the one that made history with beetlejuiced!

BuffaloBarbara

With the parade of yuck at this event, I’m actually… not hating this all that much. I mean, yeah, I wouldn’t want to be within fifty yards at the end of the night, but I’m not, so…

ThaliaMenninger

Poor Miley. So many other attention hos vying for the spotlight and her with nothing left to offer to pull that focus.

Lower L

I’m reminded of the Wallace and Gromit film “The Wrong Trousers”.

ashtangajunkie

I really hate thinking about ass sweat.

Adrianna Grężak

At least she stopped making dumb faces on the red carpet

bitchybitchybitchy

I could see the pants being interesting if Miley or her handler had chosen a different top, but I simpy cannot.get.’swampcrotch’out.of.my.mind. Ewww

YeahYeahFashion

The only issue I have here is her makeup. Normally it’s much better.

evave2

I’ll tell you how dumb I am: the model has some weird white make-up lines on her face, I thought I had something on my screen and tried to clean her face off. I think the motorcycle jacket is too on point on the model.

However the jodhpur pants don’t look bad on Miley, the top is ridiculous, I don’t hate the shoes (but we did not get a close-up either, hmm, uncles?); I fear this child is going to have a meltdown that will dwarf Brittany’s.

nancymae

Pardon my ignorance, but could someone explain how this is couture? Where’s the workmanship, the exquisite details and whatever else makes couture couture? ???

PinkyK

I vow to work the phrase “swamp crotch” into daily conversation from this point forward!

Jacob Bowen

The top isn’t much of a top…but I don’t mind the overall effect. I do LOVE her hair though!

Snailstsichr

Is that a safety pin in her ear? Won’t that cause an infection?? This poor girl needs to go home and bathe in antiseptics & antifungals.

tpalgal

And, Miley, isn’t the safety pin in the ear a little too cliche? We get it, baby. You’re a rocker. You’re not Hannah Montana anymore. You go on with your bad self. At least she didn’t bring the foam finger this year. Thank heavens for small mercies.

bitchybitchybitchy

With Miley any small step away from the foam finger era is progress.

Therese Bohn

Is it me or is there something weird under her right arm pit? (orange-ish)

Kelly

I guess if you have Miley’s body type, you don’t mind wearing pants that add several inches to your thighs. I, however, would mind.

somebody blonde

She looks like she made the whole outfit out of trash bags. Just sayin’.

http://tvblogster.blogspot.com Boop

This is hilarious.

Man Dala

Papa Ray don’t preach, I’m in trouble deep (in my crotch).

Clash D

Color me surprised, I don’t hate it. Wished she accessoried with a spiked leather chocker or something, cos from chest up she looks slightly bland.

crashtestbonnie

I saw “swamp crotch” before the pix and thought, “Oh Dog, here we go again.” But honestly? This is the best she’s looked in ages. AND venue appropriate. AND no weird tongue thing. People, could our little Miley be growing up?? ((gasp)) My 10yo wants to know why we/I can’t buy the newest Miley record and I haven’t found the best way to say, “You’re too young for Trying Too Hard Skank Rock,” without having to actually explain myself. ((sigh))