Hi, this is Uzzi. I’m writing this week’s blog because Martok is depressed. He spends his days perched atop our Port-a-Hut gazing off down the ridge—or across the yard at Kerla’s pen.

Photo by Sue WeaverMartok is depressed because the does are flocking to Kerla.

Hi, this is Uzzi. I’m writing this week’s blog because Martok is depressed. He spends his days perched atop our Port-a-Hut gazing off down the ridge—or across the yard at Kerla’s pen. Kerla is why he’s depressed.

The does are madly in love with Kerla. Dad says Kerla is “the Fonzie of goats.” Mom tied extra panels across the front of Kerla’s paddock so that nobody gets their feet stuck in the fence (or backs up to it the way Big Mama did with Martok last year).

Martok blubbers and paces and ennurates (that’s a nice word that means he pees on himself—buck goats are weird!) just like does like, but the girls flock to Kerla instead. Kerla ennurates, but he’s so young that his musk glands don’t work yet (Martok’s do—yuck!), but the does adore Kerla anyway!

Photo by Sue WeaverAll the does think Kerla is cute.

“Oooo, what long, sexy ears!” they coo, shoving one another to get closer to Kerla and the fence. (“I have sexy, long ears,” Martok mumbles.)

“Listen to him blubber, what a guy!” (“I can blubber louder and better than that.”)

“And that sweet, white cap on his head is the cutest thing!” (“I have a white cap too!”)

On and on it goes. Every day. Hordes of does mob Kerla’s pen and Martok kvetches about it.

But Martok deserves it. Mom raised Kerla to be Jadzia’s beau, but one night back in June, Martok scaled the wall between our pen and the dairy does’ shelter. Jadzia was just coming into heat but Mom thought, no, he couldn’t have gotten her pregnant, he isn’t in rut, it’s out of season and very, very hot. (Heat’s supposed to make bucks and rams temporarily infertile). But she marked the calendar and Jadzia is getting fat! Really fat, like she has babies on board. They’re due Nov. 5. Jadzia is excited, Martok is unrepentant and Mom is not amused.