Empress, Jon already had the definitive joke about this when he pointed out that, statistically, you are more likely to go to prison if you become Governor of Illinois than if you kill someone in Illinois.posted by Etrigan at 1:36 PM on June 27, 2011 [35 favorites]

Is his surname pronounced Blago-JEVITCH or Bla-GOY-evitch?posted by orrnyereg at 1:39 PM on June 27, 2011

In all, Blagojevich faces a maximum prison sentence that adds up to 300 years...

Daaaaamn.

...though legal experts predicted that Zagel will impose a sentence closer to 10 years

Seriously? Dude tried to sell a Senate seat. Was convicted of multiple counts of extortion. He screwed his state's residents by holding up official acts on the a school grant and on a Children’s Memorial Hospital while demanding campaign contributions. He only gets 10 years for that?posted by zarq at 1:41 PM on June 27, 2011 [7 favorites]

orrnyereg: never heard it any other way that Bla-GOY-yevitch.

That makes, what?, six of our governors convicted of something?posted by crush-onastick at 1:42 PM on June 27, 2011

"Blags", and it makes you sound like a swingin' cool cat.posted by crapmatic at 1:44 PM on June 27, 2011

The saddest thing to me about this scandal was seeing how utterly incompetent this guy was as a contestant on the tv show The Apprentice. He epitomized the empty suit. In this era of corporate sponsored government it explains a lot to see that these stooges are drafted more for their hair and moral ambivalence than any idea that might lurk in their head.posted by any major dude at 1:44 PM on June 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

In other corrupt politician news, Tom Delay was sentenced to three years in prison.

This is a rather compelling FPP. It leads me to draw the following conclusion:

Former Illinois governor Ron "Blogo" Blagojavich has been convicted on 17 counts, including trying sell to sell President Obama's vacated Senate seat to the highest bidder.posted by flarbuse at 1:50 PM on June 27, 2011 [4 favorites]

The saddest thing to me about this scandal was seeing how utterly incompetent this guy was as a contestant on the tv show The Apprentice.

That is the saddest thing? I actually think it was the only awesome thing, especially the way he kept screwing up in the restaurant task by not waiting tables efficiently because he had to stop every time he served someone a hamburger to say, "By the way, Rod Blagojevich, nice to meet you. I was set up. I'm innocent!"

Here is the detailed break down of the charges -- though its from before the verdict was read, the table in this article here illustrates the final results really well.

Can you tell I was also putting together a post?

As you can see, its pretty interesting that the jury was able to make pretty clear cut decisions based on the specific schemes he was charged with. The Senate Seat, hospital, and race track stuff was guilty across the board, but not so much on the tollway or school grant shakedowns.

I really can't wait until they start interviewing the jurors. As someone who has spent far too much time paying attention to both of these trials, you will never convince me that the biggest reason he was found guilty this time compared to last time is because he opened his mouth. (It certainly wasn't because the prosecution presented a better case.) And the only people who can convince me otherwise are the jurors.

I'm not enough of a Pollyanna to think that the Blagojevich supporters who argued "he was just playing the game it's played" aren't speaking the truth. But I am enough of a Pollyanna that I think llinois should keep convicting its governors until they don't play the game quite so brazenly.posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:51 PM on June 27, 2011 [5 favorites]

Man during the first trial I used to be going down to the Blue Line subway right across the street from the courthouse at exactly the time that Blago was always getting out of court and talking to the press gaggle. There would always been people standing on the sidewalk gawking at him, and one time I witnessed three 18-year-olds run across Dearborn through oncoming traffic just to run up and flip him off. He did that same smarmy everyone-loves-me-even-the-ones-that-hate-me unmoving straightarm wave thing he always does. Fuck that guy.posted by shakespeherian at 1:53 PM on June 27, 2011

flarbuse: "This is a rather compelling FPP. It leads me to draw the following conclusion:"

I understand that former Illimos Governor Rab Blutarski has been convictled of 17 counts.posted by boo_radley at 1:54 PM on June 27, 2011 [12 favorites]

darkstar: "In other corrupt politician news, Tom Delay was sentenced to three years in prison."

This is how you Own Your Asshole, people: "I can't be remorseful for something I don't think I did," DeLay said in a 10-minute speech to the judge.

haha, good lord:

Hastert, an Illinois Republican who was House speaker from 1999 to 2006, testified that DeLay was not motivated by power but for a need to help others. Hastert talked about DeLay's conservative and religious values, his efforts to provide tax relief for his constituents in Texas, his work helping foster children and the help he provided to the family of one of the police officers who was killed in a 1998 shooting at the U.S. Capitol in Washington.

"That's the real Tom DeLay that a lot of people never got to see," Hastert said.

Possibly because he was too busy being the party enforcer and kneecapper? You don't earn "The Hammer" as a nickname because you help cops and orphans.posted by boo_radley at 1:58 PM on June 27, 2011 [5 favorites]

I'm not sure if that's a great comparison. I don't think that giving Eleanor Holmes Norton's non-voting House seat away would count as much of a political favor.posted by schmod at 2:01 PM on June 27, 2011

well, now I know what the lede will be on 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me' this weekend.posted by lodurr at 2:03 PM on June 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

Perhaps the most humorous aspect of this is that, as corrupt as he was (is) he seemingly was entirely incompetent at it. Of all the shakedown and bribery attempts we know about, it appears that he succeeded in profiting from roughly none of them.posted by Navelgazer at 2:03 PM on June 27, 2011

In all, Blagojevich faces a maximum prison sentence that adds up to 300 years

I bet he's really regretting selling that Elevator Review Safety Board seat to Satan for everlasting life right about nowposted by theodolite at 2:04 PM on June 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

mrgrimm, both links are on the main page of the linked story. And Jeff-O-Matic, I call him Blogo.posted by longsleeves at 2:06 PM on June 27, 2011

I bet he's really regretting selling that Elevator Review Safety Board seat to Satan for everlasting life right about now

As Navelgazer pointed out, he really wasn't ever able to actually close any of the deals, so everlasting life probably isn't in the cards for Rod. In that instance, it was probably because he didn't have a soul to sell.

But at least he has his Pistachio Blue money... though I'll wonder if they will pull those ads, since he can't really say he "does it innocently." any moreposted by MCMikeNamara at 2:08 PM on June 27, 2011

...though legal experts predicted that Zagel will impose a sentence closer to 10 years

He should be tied into a sack and drowned in the river, like all corrupt public servants.posted by atrazine at 2:10 PM on June 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I figured that there were some jury holdouts since it took so long to come back.

Also enjoyed: the WGN anchors talking all over one another, trying to spit the verdict on each count out first.posted by sugarfish at 2:17 PM on June 27, 2011

He only gets 10 years for that?

Probably 8-12 years in prison. He's unbelievably broke. He's a laughing stock of the nation, and large parts of the world.

He is done on a level rarely seen. His political career is dead, his law degree is now useless -- he's not going to be admitted to any bar in the nation with a stack of federal felony convictions. Basically, his professional life has been utterly destroyed.

Yes, he tried to sell the seat. He has already paid a huge price, and he's going to pay a much larger one. I don't need to burn the SOB at the stake. He's been permanently taken out of Illinois politics in a particularly humiliating way.

I'm willing to call that good. Indeed, compared to Ryan, Blago's getting screwed. Ryan had Thompson's old law firm defending him pro bono, had seventy plus members of his administration convicted, hell, killed people by giving CDLs to unqualified people, and Ryan only got six and a half years. Blago may get twice that, and whatever money he had, he spent on his defence lawyers.posted by eriko at 2:18 PM on June 27, 2011 [9 favorites]

Incompetence is no defense to trying give/accept bribes, extort someone or commit wire fraud. Thank god, because Rod sure as [bleep] was [bleepin] incompetent.posted by crush-onastick at 2:19 PM on June 27, 2011

Funny, I live in Chicago, and this seems like such a... non-event. We prosecute, convict, and incarcerate governors every coupla years. Blago was like, I don't know, "America's Top Model Season 13" or something - nothing new, no excitement, not even balloons and lollipops for the kiddies. Not only were his deals penny-ante, he was fucking stupid enough to actually get caught... No one caught that easily should be allowed to be Governor.posted by OneMonkeysUncle at 2:21 PM on June 27, 2011

I'm not defending Blago, but eriko's got a point. Someone who's corrupt over money can at least be bribed into delivering services. With someone who's corrupt over ideology, you're kind of screwed.posted by lodurr at 2:22 PM on June 27, 2011

I don't think Blago will be living in a SRO and eating Dinty Moore when he's done with his stint in Club Fed; weasels like him always land on their feet.posted by entropicamericana at 2:22 PM on June 27, 2011

He only gets 10 years for that?

Come on! He just tried to sell a senate seat and did a bit of extortion while screwing over a children's hospital. That's practically nothing!

I mean, it's not like he's a minority smoking pot or something.posted by quin at 2:24 PM on June 27, 2011 [7 favorites]

Probably 8-12 years in prison. He's unbelievably broke. He's a laughing stock of the nation, and large parts of the world.

He is done on a level rarely seen. His political career is dead, his law degree is now useless -- he's not going to be admitted to any bar in the nation with a stack of federal felony convictions. Basically, his professional life has been utterly destroyed.

Where's that can-do spirit? I'm sure there's a talking head, commentator, or panelist position waiting from him somewhere. If Ollie North could turn his career around, so can Blago!posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:31 PM on June 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

I think llinois should keep convicting its governors until they don't play the game quite so brazenly.

Marisa, Oliver North took the fall for a massive shadow government of incredibly rich and powerful people who value loyalty and pay their debts. It was basically like the mob taking care of your wife and kids while you're in jail because you refused to rat out your partners and finding you a cushy job when you get out.

We pronounce it, "That jackass in Springfield. No, not the current jackass, the prior jackass." (But it's the second one, emphasis on the "goy.")

Some national pollsters have commented that Illinoisians tend to have a more positive view of Washington, D.C., than most states' residents, because we hate our state government so much we think EVEN CONGRESS must be better.

My theory is, in Illinois you can be corrupt and competent OR clean and incompetent, but you can't be corrupt and incompetent. That was Blagojevich's real problem.

That said, the last year or so it's been like living in a real leftish-leaning state with functional government, what with the civil unions, abolition of the death penalty, and tax hike. I'm so ... confused. This has never happened before. I don't know what it's like to live in a state that accomplishes things.posted by Eyebrows McGee at 2:45 PM on June 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

Blago has none of that going for him.

Well, he probably doesn't have friends to the calibre of Ollie's, that's for sure. But I'm certain he could parlay this experience into a bright future behind a cardboard desk in front of a camera, if he plays his cards right. In other words, yeah, 10 years is nothing in terms of what this guy did.posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:48 PM on June 27, 2011

Former Illinois governor Rod "Blogo" Blagojavich has been convicted on 17 counts, including trying sell to sell President Obama's vacated Senate seat to the highest bidder. Todd Lokken.posted by brundlefly at 2:50 PM on June 27, 2011

But I'm certain he could parlay this experience into a bright future behind a cardboard desk in front of a camera, if he plays his cards right

If he could (bleeping) play his (bleeping) cards right, he'd not be (bleeping) going to (bleeping) jail.posted by eriko at 2:53 PM on June 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm willing to call that good. Indeed, compared to Ryan, Blago's getting screwed. Ryan had Thompson's old law firm defending him pro bono, had seventy plus members of his administration convicted, hell, killed people by giving CDLs to unqualified people, and Ryan only got six and a half years. Blago may get twice that, and whatever money he had, he spent on his defence lawyers.
posted by eriko at 2:18 PM on June 27

OK, Ryan had nothing to do with the deaths of those people. The accident happened because a piece fell off of poorly maintained truck and the driver of the minivan was somehow unable to miss an obstacle in the road. The guy with the bad CDL had nothing to do with that- he didn't own the truck. If anyone is responsible for that accident, it is the owner of the trucking company who was hiring guys with bad CDLs and putting shitty vehicles on the road.

Ryan was not convicted for anything to do with that incident. It was simply the thing that sparked the investigation.

Ryan got convicted mostly of illegal use of campaign funds and free vacations for steering contracts one way or another. There was no allegation, as far as I remember, that they were even BAD contracts.

Blago got convicted for literally shaking down people for cash in order to change the way he did his job as governor. Including trying to sell a Senate seat. There were five schemes that they came up with, and those are just the ones they had tape on. They have him on tape trying to wield the power of the State for personal gain.

I feel awful for Blago's family because they don't deserve this in any way. But I'm not good with a ruined career. He needs to spend some time behind bars.

Food for thought: if these crimes were sentenced at the maximum and back to back (as opposed to serving concurrently), we are talking hundreds of years of time. What he did really was that bad. Just ONE of those wire fraud charges comes with a max of 20 years.posted by gjc at 2:55 PM on June 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Don't feel too awful for his family-assuming you mean his wife, not their kids. she's just as corrupt as he was, but instead of being governor, she was just a "real.estate agent".posted by crush-onastick at 3:07 PM on June 27, 2011

So I guess his wife and children are doomed forever to a lower social status: perpetual reality TV contestants.

That should make future politicians think twice before committing shady dealings.posted by SouthCNorthNY at 3:29 PM on June 27, 2011

That jackass in Springfield

Except he was never in Springfield. As soon as he refused tenancy in the Governor's Mansion, I knew he was a Grade-A asshole.posted by hwyengr at 3:32 PM on June 27, 2011

I imagine it'd been mentioned in this thread already - I'm on my phone and in a minor hurry - but shit like this:

Among the more lurid allegations in the criminal complaint against Gov. Rod Blagojevich was that he wanted a $50,000 contribution from the head of Children's Memorial Hospital for backing $8 million in state funding. The money, however, wasn't for the hospital but instead a statewide pediatric medical-care initiative to pay hundreds of doctors to treat poor sick children throughout Illinois...

fills me with an unholy urge to kick the motherfucker repeatedly in the face.posted by item at 3:45 PM on June 27, 2011

He is done on a level rarely seen. His political career is dead, his law degree is now useless -- he's not going to be admitted to any bar in the nation with a stack of federal felony convictions. Basically, his professional life has been utterly destroyed.

He's already been transformed into a reality-tv star. He'll do a couple of years, show up on "Dancing With The Stars", get his own TLC series, make commercials and personal appearances for a while and retire with a big chunk of cheddar. Shameless people like Blago go on and on and on and on in this culture.posted by briank at 4:12 PM on June 27, 2011

Blago's Illinois! Didn't some failed politician do Alaska?posted by Cranberry at 4:15 PM on June 27, 2011

Don't feel too awful for his family-assuming you mean his wife, not their kids. she's just as corrupt as he was, but instead of being governor, she was just a "real.estate agent".

Yes, exactly. I feel bad for the kids because they are at a really bad age for bad shit going down, and have probably been recipients of many a "daddy is angry at the world again" tirade.

Patti, I think, is a sort-of-victim. She is notably younger than he is (married in 1990, she was 25, he was 35ish), and I think she may have gotten sucked into the vortex of Blago. She is the child of a powerful guy in Chicago, and Roddy was a ticket to maintaining that lifestyle, and also to piss off her dad.posted by gjc at 4:17 PM on June 27, 2011

He's already been transformed into a reality-tv star. He'll do a couple of years, show up on "Dancing With The Stars", get his own TLC series, make commercials and personal appearances for a while and retire with a big chunk of cheddar. Shameless people like Blago go on and on and on and on in this culture.

He is 56. There is no way he gets out before he is 65. He is done. If he was as young as he looks, I would agree with you.posted by gjc at 4:18 PM on June 27, 2011

> His name is Rod, and his nickname is "Blago"

That's right. Blogo--father of Dildo, grandfather of Frito--was a Halfling (= part opossum)posted by jfuller at 4:25 PM on June 27, 2011 [5 favorites]

I hope the FBI is tapping Rahm Emanuel's phone...not because I think he's doing something illegal, but because the tapes would be even funnier.posted by 445supermag at 4:31 PM on June 27, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'd feel better about his inevitable early release if one of the conditions was that every Illinois resident got to punch him once in the face, you know, whenever they run into him.posted by klangklangston at 4:39 PM on June 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yes, with special dispensation for cockpunching on holidays.posted by elizardbits at 4:42 PM on June 27, 2011

Could you imagine if they taped a conference call between his Rahmness, Blago, and Steve Jobs?posted by eriko at 4:43 PM on June 27, 2011

There is no way he gets out before he is 65.

Whatever you're smoking, you either need more of it or less. He'll get maybe 15 years, divided in two provided he doesn't shank anyone (which he won't, because he'll be doing time in a resort).posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:54 PM on June 27, 2011

As with Phil Spector, now that he's convicted we get to see the real hair in the mugshot.posted by AJaffe at 5:00 PM on June 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Uh, C_D, 56+8=64, and he'll probably get more than that. As to parole? Federal charges. There is no parole.

He is not leaving prison early. The only way out is an appeal he can't afford, or clemency from the president, which will not happen.posted by eriko at 5:14 PM on June 27, 2011

he had to stop every time he served someone a hamburger to say, "By the way, Rod Blagojevich, nice to meet you. I was set up. I'm innocent!"

He did this in the cafeteria in the courthouse during the first trial, too. I can only assume he did it during the second trial also, but I no longer work there so I can't be certain.posted by devinemissk at 5:58 PM on June 27, 2011

I haven't even had the heart to follow the retrial. Due to the mismanagement of the Blagojevich administration the state is broker than it would have been. Rod was playing his games and the state senate and house just funded their pet projects and took care of their own.

A neighbor told me the other day that the group home his young adult son is in will probably close because there is no money coming next fiscal year. The not for profit I'm on the board of gets very little directly from the state, but our primary funding foundation has cut what they were giving by 75% because agencies that keep people alive are losing funding and the money must be spread around. Our programs that offer free or low cost music and dance to 800 kids? We are scrambling.

As long as they give him the full five on lying to the FBI - just so that everyone gets the message "Shut the hell up! Really! The FBI division in charge of your ass isn't going to go away because they believe you."posted by a robot made out of meat at 8:14 PM on June 27, 2011

Blago's wife is the daughter of a Chicago Machine politician. Who do you think groomed his son-in-law all the way to the Governor's office? Dick Mell. Kass, whether you love him or hate him, used to refer to Blago as "Blagojevich - (Mell), instead of D for democrat.

Most likely Blago decided he didn't need his father-in-law anymore and figured he could run the show on his own.

In other corrupt politician news, Tom Delay was sentenced to three years in prison.

He will never see the inside of a prison. And neither will BlaGOOOYYY.posted by XhaustedProphet at 10:24 PM on June 27, 2011

trying sell to sell President Obama's vacated Senate seat to the highest bidder

This is a crime?

Great.

I should probably make a few phone calls...posted by krinklyfig at 11:14 PM on June 27, 2011

I find this terrible and sad, because an innocent man is going to prison, and his name is Roy Chernow.

His only offense is going bald early in life, and then listening to an evil wig salesman and putting on a toupee named Rod Blagojavitch, which took control of his body.posted by mephron at 3:17 AM on June 28, 2011

Could you imagine if they taped a conference call between his Rahmness, Blago, and Steve Jobs?

OK, I must be way out of the loop on this one, because I just don't have a 'Steve Jobs':'Profanity-laced tirade' association coming up.posted by lodurr at 4:46 AM on June 28, 2011

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