At the corner of Rector and Washington in New York, Giovanni's Atrium has begun a storefront campaign that's generating more attention than restaurant windows usually get. Showcasing "The happiest Happy Hour south of ground zero," its posted menu includes lines like "Hot and Cold Antipasto Table to tantalize your appetite" ... "for destruction?" quips Gawker.

Hello? Purveyors of contextual advertising? Are you there? Do you care? Hasn't your technology been around long enough to cease the endless contextual mishaps that keep popping up? Do we really need killer values from supermarkets offered next to articles about Amish killings? Do we need turpentine ads next to bits about a teen drinking turpentine to abort a pregnancy? How about putting Anna Nicole Smith's dead son up for sale? Or "card shark" credit card copy next to an article about a woman jilled by a shark? Haven't we seen enough of these to realize a tune up is needed? Apparently not. Here's another one sent to us by The Consumerist.

We do not profess to be an expert of any kind on contextual advertising. We do not believe any of this is done maliciously either. We know there are very reputable contextual advertising companies out there who are above board and provide a great service to marketers. We don't know if these "misplacements" can ever be stopped but we'd love to see if anyone can try. On second thought, maybe not because then we'd have nothing to write about on this topic.

This has absolutely nothing to do with advertising and everything to do with our love for typos. So it is with our pleasure we present the Dallas Observer's likening of Dallas Cowboy quarterbacks' performance, present and future, to two shits passing in the night. We offer our condolences and complete sympathy with the email tirade you are now currently experiencing from voracious readers who'd rather bitch about your typos than laugh at their humor.

To promote its new electric razor Nivea launches Stay on the Good Side, which is pretty much intended to make the scruffier sex cream at the thought of looking like this man. Note condemned (possibly hung over) guy just behind him. Or maybe it's whats-his-name from Agency.com?

We find Nivea's cleanshaven sex object creepy - unearthly, even - and we don't think it'll be long before irate men everywhere erect their own version of a Dove Evolution campaign.

And what's going on with the Clancy ad to the right of the website? Whose ingenious idea was it to use a scruff-friendly sponsorship to pay for a clean faces promotion? We won't even touch the fact that it's for a sweepstakes called Splinter Cell. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

This commercial could have been so much more emotional. So much more effective. After all, what's more spine tingling that a heroic firefighter doing their thing to douse fires and save lives? Unfortunately, this Duracell spot didn't capture emotion of any kind and, instead, went the boring, announcer-read route to tout the fact its batteries are used in a firefighter's T-PASS III, a device that notifies firefighters it's time to evacuate a building.

We're not too sure what Sorel was thinking with this one but we know it did not make us want to put their boots on our feet. Or eat that hot dog either. In fact, we're inclined to stay pretty far away from boots so insulated you could cook over them, any kind of food cooked over boots and people that put the two together. We almost wonder if that's what Sorel was shooting for. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

While it may be true that Bill Murray does, actually, hang with porn stars, we're thinking if he's good enough to hang with Scarlett Johansson, he probably doesn't need porn stars. Having said that, our favorite text-trashing text link poster child, IntelliTXT thought the "actors" Bill Murray was with when he played golf the other day might need a little help scoring their next gig and helpfully linked them to xxxpornjobs.com. (You do know that's not a work-safe link, don't you?) Don't you just love contextual advertising fuckery?

The Alltel Wireless campaign, which began with the great concept of personifying competing mobile phone companies, continues it downward spiral with a second installment of its "mall geeks" cell phone company personification. Once again, the other companies try to get Alltel to end its MyCircle plan, this time with a bribe. It falls flat.

We're sure this Captain Your Halloween promotion and accompanying cheesy DRTV-style commercial are supposed to be kitsch-filled fun but, we just don't see it. Perhaps it's seeing grown adults in Halloween costumes meant for kids. Perhaps it's a liquor company's trying to make a kid's holiday into an adult's holiday. Perhaps it's just Captain Morgans' attempt to be dumb in order to be seen ad funny when it's really just dumb in the first place.