in Montana — "the presence of neither the bride nor the groom is required." The New York Times reports. As one might gather, soldiers stationed overseas, often far from their wives-to-be, are especially likely to take advantage of this. In any case, an interesting story, for the little details as well as the big picture.

New York does not recognize proxy marriages at all because the statute requires the person being married to confirm the vows personally to the person conducting the ceremony, but New York will recognize proxy marriages valid elsewhere (Ferraro v. Ferraro 192 Misc. 488, 275 App.Div. 777). This is similar to the Monroe County same sex marriage case that recognizes same sex marriages in New York if they are valid where they occur.
There is an old law review article in the subject "Marriage by Proxy," A. Bailey, 33 Cornell L. Q. 127 (1947).

New York does not recognize proxy marriages at all because the statute requires the person being married to confirm the vows personally to the person conducting the ceremony

What vows? New York requires vows? Since when? At Jewish weddings the bride doesn't make any vows, and the groom's vows are contained in a contract prepared in private before the ceremony, and which he neither writes nor signs. He speaks a sum total of nine words in the course of the ceremony, and that's nine more than she speaks.

The commentator,to the statute says:
"Given the statutory requirement that the parties to the marriage make a declaration in the presence of an officiating person and at least one witness, New York does not permit the solemnization in this state of proxy marriages. A proxy marriage is one in which at least one of the parties is not present at the ceremony, having appointed someone else as agent to represent him or her. Nonetheless, because proxy marriages are not explicitly proscribed and are not regarded as repugnant to public policy or natural law, New York will recognize as valid a proxy marriage which is valid in the jurisdiction where contracted. Ferraro v. Ferraro, 192 Misc. 484, 77 N.Y.S.2d 246 (N.Y. City Dom. Rel. Ct. 1948), affirmed sub nom. Fernandes v. Fernandes, 275 App.Div. 777, 87 N.Y.S.2d 707 (2nd Dept.1949); In re Valente's Will, 18 Misc.2d 701, 188 N.Y.S.2d 732 (Surr.Ct.Kings County 1959)."

I got divorced by publication in 1989 in Georgia. That doesn't sound to me as the official legal way to say it, necessarily, but it's what my lawyer called it. In any event, we didn't know exactly where the nogoodnik was at the time but he was almost certainly not residing with his mom, which was his last address of record. I guess it wasn't really proxy because he wasn't represented by a stand-in, but if he had sent a lawyer to represent him, or one had been appointed for him, would that have been proxy?