A Complete Beginner's Guide to the Messy Blow Job

A recent Reddit thread titled "[Sexual Technique] Messy blowjobs" sparked some interest in the Cosmopolitan.com office this week. What does "messy" even refer to in that context? Aren't all blow jobs messy? Is there one that's Martha Stewart-level clean? Maybe with a white glove on fine linens? One Google search of "messy blow job" turns up with the Internet preferred term of "sloppy blow job" (why people want to call a sex act "sloppy" instead of "messy," I can't possibly understand) and a lot of porn with the search term in it.

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Urban Dictionary's only definition is a quote example of, "shit lads, i had this amazing sloppy blow job last night, there was buckets of spit involved." To hear the Reddit poster tell it, a messy blow job involves "lots of spitting, messy sounds, tons of moaning, rubbing his dick on any part of me, and complete and total enthusiasm," basically putting his penis anywhere at all, which sounded bizarre and kind of awesome to me. Who wouldn't want to participate in a sex act that's so completely freeform and improvised, like an interpretive dance with your partner's junk?

Reddit users immediately jumped on the concept with their own tips and tricks, including:

"My girlfriend has small breasts, like barely an A cup. But when she rubs her nipples along my cock ... drool."

And one poet even advised, "Everything but puking. For that, check with him first."

But these were just random, anonymous people, so I decided to go to the source: porn superstar Chanel Preston, who defined a messy blow job as "one which uses a lot of spit." She gave me a bunch of expert tips on how to give a messy blow job like a pro. Let's do this.

1. Don't overthink it! Be as messy as you want. Some people are afraid to use a lot of spit because it feels messy, but there is something very sexy about getting all messy and gross during sex. It's not for everyone, but if your partner is willing to try, then definitely give it a shot and see how you like it.

2. Spit as much as you can and drink a bunch of water first if you need to. Sometimes it's not always easy to salivate a lot, especially if you have a dry mouth. Chanel usually gags a little on the dick in order to produce that thick viscous saliva. Also, don't swallow any spit. Just let it roll out of your mouth and down his cock and balls.

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3. There's no wrong way to give a messy blow job. The only way you could do it wrong is any way where your partner is not enjoying it, which can always be adjusted via communication, so give it a shot and if it doesn't work, you guys can figure out something that will.

4. You don't have to rub his penis all over your body, but you totally can. Rub it wherever you think he would find it sexy or whatever body part you think is sexy — nipples, vulva, stomach, etc. If you need to ask him what he finds sexy, ask.

5. You don't even have to suck on it the whole time. Chanel has noticed a lot of guys like jerking while sucking. So while you are sucking on his penis, also try and use your hand or hands at the same time.

6. There's no rule book, so make it up as you go along. There is no strategy other than doing what your partner likes. There is no one-size-fits-all when it come to blow jobs. Just communicate and experiment to find out what your partner likes best.

7. Even if you lose the rhythm or try something that fails, you can always get it back. Of course there are times when you finally get a good rhythm and you want to try something a little different and it's not quite your partner's thing, but at least now you know and you won't do it again. Not everyone is going to do things perfectly the first time. Don't ever let that stop you from exploring though.