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What Chinese Character Does YOUR Furrowed Brow Form?

So then…I read a ridiculous email from an exasperating client on my Iphone. I audibly sigh and roll my eyes – at the precise moment I’m passing the hallway mirror – which means I can see the reflection of my furrowed brow.

And I barely made peace with the fact that a small indented line forms between my eyebrows whenever I make my “annoyed” face.

But now THAT line has sprouted MORE lines!

…shooting in SEVERAL directions!

I lean in closer to the mirror.

What is HAPPENING here?

The size and location of my new brow lines seem to be forming…some sort of Chinese character!

There’s one big line down the middle, with little offshoots at angles – just like a Chinese symbol!

What does it signify?

I can only assume my poor puckering brow line is forming the Chinese character for:

WISDOM
or
INTELLIGENCE
or
HONOR.

I check online to confirm my theory.

Um…no.

My creases and crinkles don’t match any of those noble words.

What could it be then?

Maybe I should figure out what makes me furrow my brow in the first place.

It’s usually when I’m baffled, annoyed, or exasperated:

1) Like when my teen daughter Chloe chops the asparagus in half and throws out the tops and only eats the bottoms – because the “tops taste weird.” No, honey, YOU’RE weird. Honestly! What’s next? Peeling an orange to toss the orange and eat the peel? Brow furrowed.

2) Or when my teen son Tucker signs the back of his birthday checks with a squiggle comprised of the initials of his first name, last name, and NICKNAME – all stacked on top of each other!

3) Or when I walk into the kitchen to see that David can never seem to put his dishes IN the dishwasher. They’re always dishwasher-adjacent. I mean, he was right there. What prevents him from opening the dishwasher? Is he afraid bloodthirsty zombies will pop out and devour him? Furrowed brow – and frowny face.

4) Or when my coworker asks me to forward her the same attachment that I’ve emailed her four times already, because she can’t keep track of her documents (or her brain). Brow furrowed, head shaking.

5) Or when someone’s in such a hurry that she cuts ahead of me in the school’s car pick-up line, but then holds up all the cars behind her so she can chat extensively out her car window with another mom walking by. Brow furrowed, profanity muttered.

Mystery solved!

The Chinese character my furrowed brow is forming is not:

COURAGE
or
PEACE
or
TRUTH.

It’s

What the Fuck?

Yes, that’s exactly it!

When I furrow my brow, those creases and lines form the Chinese character for these words in bright neon lights:

What the FUCK are you DOING?
What the FUCK are you TALKING ABOUT?
Who the FUCK AREyou?

I suppose the WTF expression could be a bit off-putting – and even alarming – to the people surrounding me, especially since I seem to be brow-furrowing all day long – (I’m looking at YOU, telemarketers, over-zealous classroom moms, and guy at work who interrupts every.single.meeting with off-topic questions/complaints) so perhaps I should conceal my obvious displeasure in some way…

Otherwise, my white-hot smoldering Wrath of Khan stare might smite people right where they stand. And if they happen to read Chinese, they’ll know what my brow is saying.

HOW TO CONCEAL YOUR “WTF” BROW FURROW:

1) Botox
This would conceal my furrow – but also 90% of my facial expressions, so um…no.

2) Sunglasses
I’d look cool, but if I wear them indoors or at night, it would make other people furrow their brows – like “what’s up with that weird chick wearing her sunglasses 24/7?”

3) Bangs
No. Just no.

4) Xanax
If I pop enough pills, nothing will bother me enough to furrow my brow in the first place! But then again, potential drug addiction…so, no me gusta.

5) Masquerade Mask
Now here’s an intriguing and unique way to hide my furrowed brow. I love it! I’ll buy an array of colors and styles so I can wear these everywhere – the office, school pick-up, Target, the post office…

And when you see me in the grocery store 10-items-or-less checkout line, in my fancy masquerade mask – just when someone darts in front of me with CLEARLY 16 items and an out-of-state check – you can rest assured my brow is furrowed. Oh it is FURROWED,my friend!

So now YOU tell me:1) What makes you furrow YOUR brow? 2) And what Chinese character does YOUR furrowed brow form?

Seriously, Nichole, what is WRONG with our kids! When I saw her chop them in half, then dump the tops in the trash, I about had a heart attack! What are you doooooing?? So now she chops them and gives me the tops and she eats the rest so I guess we’re a match made in Heaven! Ha!

Here’s the thing. My brow furrows when I try to figure out how all 5000 Chinese words fit on a keyboard. And I have enough lines on my face to express every emotion there is. And your story made me laugh. Thanks. More laugh lines. Thanks a lot Darcy.

Ha ha ha! I loved this post! Who is your son? Prince? I totally laughed out loud. I totally understand the dishes in the dishwasher too, as my husband doesn’t even RINSE his plates, bowls or coffee cups. Just dumps them in the sink. My most recent chinese symbol popped up today when the office manager emailed me and said “Please let Joe know there is mail for him, it’s on your desk”. Are you f’n kidding me? He could have easily walked it in and set it on his desk, AND instead of emailing me, he could have emailed Joe! Lazy, jerky or just abuse of “management” status? I call all three!

Oh, I try not to make Chinese characters with my face. What happens if you’re in China town and they can read your face? The Triad has a special face division who watch for things like that – you might not come back out. I don’t wear clothes with chinese characters whose meaning I don’t know either.

But I have to tell you Darcy – it does piss me off when people go through the 1-10 item line with more than 10 items. Then a few weeks ago, I was grocery shopping and was thinking deep thoughts. ha! I got in line with a full cart and the cashier said nothing. Half way through the checkout, the customers behind me started to complain – I looked up and it was the 1-10 item line ( I had easy 30-40 items). To say I was embarrassed after years of judging those who were doing exactly what I was doing, was an understatement. Good thing you weren’t there Darcy – I’d’ve been floored by the scathing gaze.

I believe the Chinese character my furrowed brow forms is the one for “SERIOUSLY?” Because I say that rather a lot, and when I do, I usually have my brow furrowed.qwertygirl recently posted..They Just Won’t

My furrowed brow says, “Are you KIDDIN’ me?!” but only because I am frequently surrounded by children.

If I weren’t, well, it surely would say, “WTF” as well.

I loved the injection photo. I once was trying to smile more to set my mood in a positive manner and as a co-worker walked by she said, in a very nasty tone, “What do YOU have to smile about?!” My brow exclaimed in Chinese, “F off B” – but spelled out.

Top of my brow-furrow list right now is when the school line parents block my driveway. When I stop being lazy and start being motivated, I will put up a sign that says “Block my driveway and I put a brick through your window” with a pile of bricks next to it.

This is fantastic, I just checked my own furrowed brow and I get an exclamation mark!

This suits me perfectly because generally the only thing that makes me frown is when the other half is inexplicably angry about some small thing like, I dunno, not cleaning up the water that splashed around and not on the bath mat when I get out of the shower. Or when there are bits of toothpaste in the sink that I forgot to rinse off. Seriously I’m perplexed as to why he gets so upset….