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Rock golems were an early creation of the Empire, back in the days when they were just figuring out the basics of mineral-based life. Unfortunately, the Empire found them rather difficult to control - not because they are rebellious or willful, which they are not - but because they are really, really dumb, and they just don't understand instructions very well. They don't remember them very well, either, unless they're really simple. If you tell the rock golem to go to the field, pick up some nice round rocks, and carry them to your house, you may discover later that the rock golem got confused, pulled your house up from its foundations, and carried it to the field. As a result, the Empire tends to only use them as brute force defenders when possible.

While golems do have a brain, it only gets used when they are faced with something that their raw instinct can't deal with, such as dealing with obstacles in their path. While they can speak, their vocabulary is rather limited and shallow. They don't need to eat, and instead take great pleasure in crushing their prey with their large and heavy fists. They won't kill anything else that is a rock, and since their intelligence level is low, this means that someone clever could easily disguise himself as something rock-shaped and escape their clutches.

Rock golems are very difficult to kill permanently, as if you break them down, they will eventually reconstruct themselves over time. It takes much longer for them to be prepared for combat again, however. But for the practical purposes of smitemasters, the worst thing about golems is probably the piles of rock left behind when "killed". These will become an obstacle, so smitemasters must be careful about where to destroy a golem. It is possible to destroy a golem completely by using a bomb, however.

Despite their seemingly simple nature, rock golems are nevertheless sentient beings who see humans as soft, fast, and confusing creatures. Rock golems prefer to live at their own languid pace, away from their bothersome creators. Rock golems enjoy playing sports in their leisure time, such as Rockball, a sport they designed.

Unbrained golems try to move towards their target, orthogonally if the target is in line with the golem, otherwise diagonally. However, if its first-choice destination tile is blocked, the golem will simply not move at all. This means that they do not "slide" along walls the way roaches do. Killing a rock golem with a sword or hot tile will leave an impassible boulder. However, explosions and adders can destroy rock golems entirely.

Brained rock golems move identically to brained roaches, unless the highest priority move is blocked by a brain-invisible object. Instead of attempting the second-best move as directed by a brain, the golem will stop moving.

Golems are blocked by the same obstacles as roaches. However, they can traverse shallow water, and will form a stepping stone if killed there.

While live rock golems are not treated as obstacles by brains, the boulders they leave behind are considered obstacles.

Rock piles do not have a separate monster ID: their animation actually uses the rock golem's "center" or "no direction" orientation, an animation that most creatures do not have. However, attempting to set a rock golem character's orientation variable to 4 (which is this "center" direction) yields no result.