"we get all sorts around here."

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The Theory of Narrative Causality (3h/5ish)

"Others have likewise called it so," jumperfucker replied, grinning, as he braced himself on his hands and knees over the other man, stark naked. "Is this why you've called me here? to talk like Victorians and fuck like rabbits?"

"Well, you write well enough to entertain me and we live in the same city," consulting_detective conceded, having expertly deduced jumperfucker's address from the state of his jumper, the splatter of mud on his boots, and the tube ticket concealed in his jeans pocket.

"Get used to it," consulting_detective sighed, dramatically, "for I am a soulless bastard who will probably throw you down like an old sock when I'm done with you."

"No," was jumperfucker's clever response. "I think you've been traumatized in your youth, as all tragic heroes have, and now I must cure you with my Dastardly Dick of Doom."

"That is another interpretation of our relationship," consulting_detective agreed. "I would rather like to know whether you live up to John 'Three Continents' Watson, you know, or if it's the claim of your ludicrously lyrical imagination — for surely for me to be the tragic hero you must be the loyal but rather dim sidekick with the silly theories and the liking for strawberry jam."

"Christ, your mouth would do with some stuffing, the way it babbles," jumperfucker remarked, before providing the stuffing.

Afterwards, they lay in a sweaty heap upon the coverlet, breathing hard and generally praising their own performances.

"That was quite pleasing, that trick of your tongue," consulting_detective admitted, much as he was loath to admit the talent of anyone other than himself.

"Thank you," jumperfucker said pleasantly. "I liked that roll of your hips, just when you were coming. Very nicely done, that."

"Thank you," consulting_detective said lazily. "Oh, and next time, we're trying roleplaying. I would rather enjoy deducing how long you like to be denied orgasm, I think. You can be Watson."

(sorry, guys. i tried. D:)

anonymous"Thank you," consulting_detective said lazily. "Oh, and next time, we're trying roleplaying. I would rather enjoy deducing how long you like to be denied orgasm, I think. You can be Watson."

YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE US HERE

jumperfuckerOH. MY. GOD.

What did I just read.

anonymousRule 34, Johnny-boy!

jumperfuckerI'm still LOLing, mate.

anonymousThis is why I love you, John.

anonymousconsulting_detective, amirite? :D

anonymousAbsolument. ;)

…

as a disclaimer: i have seen russian smileys discussed, but i've not total confirmation. if it's complete bullshit, do let me know?

Re: The Theory of Narrative Causality (3h/5ish)

also also I want to make out with you for adding a TV Tropes article. Which I realize is disturbing so I will clarify this is only in the sense that people promise their firstborn to one author or another.

Also at "Only Friend: jumperfucker doubles as this and as The Watson." I was silly enough to be eating and had to dislodge rice from my nose after.

Re: The Theory of Narrative Causality (3h/5ish)

Oh. My. Lord. This is amazing!So much love!This is going to get posted off the kink meme, I hope? Maybe... Oh goodness, with more links? (It was so tempting to start looking at TV tropes. Fridge Insults has to exist, no?)ALL THE LOVE!