Note: This is a seattlepi.com reader blog. It is not written or edited by the P-I. The authors are solely responsible for content. E-mail us at newmedia@seattlepi.com if you consider a post inappropriate.

Drag Race All Stars: Always and forever but NOT ON TONIGHT

1.) Alaska is going to win. This week’s episode makes it even more apparent.

2.) Phi Phi O’Hara, despite her insistence, has really not changed. This week’s episode makes it even more apparent. But in case you believe it’s “editing,” Phi Phi reminds us that she doesn’t want to leave until she makes the world fall in love with her.

As suspected/teased/anticipated, the girls aren’t happy with last week’s elimination. MY QUEEN Alyssa Edwards saved Katya over Ginger Minj. Alyssa says she based it on overall consistency. Katya looks stunned/sad/defeated. Probably because everyone else is telling her she should have gone home. RUDE.

“You should never be surprised. I think you deserve to be here,” Alyssa says. Come through with the motivation, sis.

Seriously, these “rules” meant to create fair eliminations are ridiculous. THIS IS NOT RUPAUL’S BEST FRIEND RACE OR AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BEST FRIEND. DO WHAT YOU WANT. THIS IS A COMPETITION. These girls are not the judges and honestly have no clue who would be eliminated in a regular setting. Stop trying to predict what RuPaul would do.

Also, RuPaul has not always judged things “fairly” and eliminated the “right” person in past seasons.

*cough* Kennedy Davenport *cough*

*cough* Latrice Royale *cough*

*cough* Pandora Boxx *cough*

The remaining six queens are paired up to create drag movie parodies, or “she-quels.” And this week’s Alyssa-ism is “rigamoris.” A play on rigged that was supposed to be rigamortis.

RIGAMORIS. Another Alyssa bullseye, y’all.

Wha’ Ha’ Happened to Baby JJ: Alyssa and Alaska. Alaska is the standout this episode. She’s frighteningly accurate, and hilarious, as Bette Davis. Alyssa doesn’t fare as well and fades a bit into the background. But she also just doesn’t have much to do? Right? None of her lines are particularly funny. But really Alaska is everything I can’t even deal with it.

Velma & Weezy: Katya and Detox. Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon recast as drag zombies. They commit to the characters but the script just isn’t very funny. Not their fault. Katya is much more effortless and natural.

Showsquirrels: Phi Phi and Roxxxy Andrews. This feels overlong and labored, much like Velma & Weezy. Again, the script just isn’t funny. Phi Phi gets high marks for stepping out of character.

Michelle Visage is “literally” so proud of Phi Phi. Literally — as opposed to figuratively? Not literally? What does that even mean?

Dear everyone: Learn how to use the word literally. And not like that.

The two-looks-in-one runway is inspired by Violet Chachki’s legendary double look. Alaska again slays with trash bag couture that transforms into a life-size Lil Pound Cake.

SO GOOD. The accuracy is terrific.

Roxxxy’s red jumpsuit reveal is signature Roxxxy. I ain’t mad at her for it. And I like Katya’s “Sharon Tate fantasy” as a unique statement.

Alyssa’s clicking camera dress? Everything. I really do love the humor in the presentation. Michelle Visage, determined to rival Phi Phi as The Worst this season, takes it all wayyyyy too seriously.

Girl. Stop. Bye. Personality is exactly what this show is about right now. These girls have already run the original “Race.” They have fanbases and careers. This is all about brand. And Alyssa has stayed right on brand. Carson is right. It’s what Alyssa fans want.

Alaska in the top, of course. But Phi Phi? She revealed one basic outfit under another basic outfit. And not feeling that hair at all.

Roxxxy, Katya and Alyssa are this week’s bottom three. But do we know why was there just a bottom two last week?

Phi Phi, who chastised Alyssa earlier for not following rules, announces that she doesn’t need to do one-on-ones with the bottom three during deliberations. This is because, as previously stated, Phi Phi is awful. Detox says what we’re all thinking, that “All Stars” Phi Phi is basically still Season 4 Phi Phi.

Alaska easily wins the lip sync because of course she does as if Phi Phi stands a chance against really anyone left in the competition.

And the person she eliminates is Roxxxy Alyssa.

Wait, what?

Alyssa? How was Alyssa worse than Roxxxy? ALYSSA?! Nooooo.

I have a feeling this was more about Alyssa proving that she’s a strong competitor and a smart player. But she stumbled. And she’s out.

And somehow Roxxxy, and Phi Phi, are still here?

Is this the fair elimination everyone has been speaking of?

After the chop, Phi Phi continues to hate on Alyssa and her attitude and her brand and her dress. It’s not even clever or funny or true. It’s all just kind of sad, really. Unnecessary and rude and clearly coming from a place of intimidation.

Then from behind the mirror — the eliminated queens. Coco Montrese. Tatianna. Ginger Minj. Alyssa. Someone is coming back. And I really hope they all heard Phi Phi. But what’s the revenge twist? And the new twist?

Note: This is a seattlepi.com reader blog. It is not written or edited by the P-I. The authors are solely responsible for content. E-mail us at newmedia@seattlepi.com if you consider a post inappropriate.