The 5 Most Insanely Apocalyptic Photos of America Right Now

#2. Structures Not Seen in Generations Are Surfacing Again

With all of California's water reserves drying up comes another surprise: Since many of these lakes are man-made and didn't exist in the old-timey days, there's a lot of shit hidden beneath all that water that's now seeing light for the first time in decades, or even centuries. Earlier this year, residents of Santa Barbara noticed that their lake had gone missing, and in its place was this old, now pointless causeway and/or bridge from the 1930s.

And this wasn't some small wimpy-ass lake -- this was Lake Cachuma, which during better days looked like there should be elves and hobbits bathing in it. Then there's Lake Don Pedro in Tuolumne County, which, at only 51 percent capacity because of the drought, unexpectedly revealed a goldmine of a discovery: a literal goldmine that had been underwater since disco pants were the hottest fashion.

Then, of course, you have the beautiful and luscious Folsom Lake in California, which is more like ugly and barren now that it's at 17 percent capacity, looking like a malnourished Chihuahua to the golden retriever of its past. And underneath all that water? An entire abandoned gold rush town, previously known as Mormon Island, that hadn't been seen since the mid-1800s ...

#1. The Fire Is Straight Out of Hell

As we mentioned before, the wildfires in California are really getting out of control now that there's considerably less water to fight them ... but it's one thing to tell you and quite another to show it to you:

Nope, unfortunately for your peace of mind, "firenado" is not a word we just made up: These are actual tornadoes of fire that were filmed raging around Carlsbad only a couple of weeks ago, which is what happens when God gets a little extra pissed at the masturbators out there.

Firenadoes are pretty hard to fight, probably because even a seasoned firefighter would be a little distracted going "HOLY SHIT WHAT AM I LOOKING AT" to aim efficiently. But you know, even if they can't turn them off, they can just wait until the next time it rai- dammit.