DAWN FRENCH takes 30 MILLION MINUTES around UK before West End run

Following the huge success of her sold out solo UK tour in 2014, Dawn French, the Queen of British comedy, returns to the stage with five performances of her hugely popular show 30 Million Minutes at select venues across the country in early November before she begins a strictly limited run in London’s West End. The new dates are at the Liverpool Empire (3 Nov), Fairfield Halls in Croydon (5 Nov), Worthing Pavilion Theatre (6 Nov) and Swan Theatre in High Wycombe (8 Nov). The award-winning actor, best-selling novelist and all round very funny lady has written the show herself, basing it on her life and career. Tickets on sale now.

The critically acclaimed 30 Million Minutes consists of various delights and riches, with the odd irksome tribulation thrown in, as Dawn takes audiences through the various lessons life has taught her, and the things she knows for sure.

Book for this show NOW, because Dawn French is convinced it won’t be long before she is far too doolally to perform it.

The evidence is there for all to see. She is already three quarters certifiably daft. The other quarter is utterly bewildered. And the remaining quarter simply can’t do maths. With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French of Cornwall shares how she has misguidedly spent her whole life vigorously attempting to be a fully functioning female human.

Her extraordinary lack of willpower, combined with an enviable knack for nosey parking and showing off, has driven her to grapple with the big stuff of life in public. 30 million minutes of life in fact. That’s how long she’s been alive, give or take a few minutes here and there.

It’s also worth coming if only to finally witness what size she actually is. Can we believe the stolen images of so many women’s magazines? What is the truth? Is she so unfeasibly large that she can hardly live? Or does she sleep in a matchbox? Marvel at how one woman can mercilessly murder so much chocolate, and yet remain so curiously slim…

Dawn says; “I shall be buying new pants in honour of this exciting opportunity to bring my show back to theatres across the country, so every audience member can relax in the knowledge that I will be fully contained and utterly fragrant at all times. Look, it’s not a play, it’s not stand up, it’s not a monologue, it’s not a slide show, but it’s something a bit like all of those with some alarming extreme striptease thrown in. Please don’t bother with it if you don’t usually enjoy yourself, it’s only for marvellous lovely people. All grumpy f******s should stay at home. Those of us who DO turn up, myself included, will share an evening we won’t forget in a hurry. I promise that.”

30 Million Minutes is produced by Phil McIntyre Entertainments. The show is directed by Michael Grandage. Set and Costume Design by Lez Brotherston. Lighting Design by Willie Williams.

Tickets for the West End run of 30 Million Minutes are on sale now here