Every month or so, I have coffee and a bagel with a group of friends that I've come to call The Breakfast Club. Our original connection was a local fitness center (yep, kind of inconsistent, I know, working out together, then gathering for breakfast?!) But most of us don't attend the fitness group anymore for a variety of reasons, mainly health related. The group varies from month to month depending on work schedules and grandchildren visiting, but the core of the group is a trio I think of as the faithful three, all of which are at least a decade older than me…or two decades. And they are such amazing women, Belle, Libby and Nora., and I'd like to tell you about them, sort of take you along to the Breakfast Club occasionally, starting today. I'm using aliases for each one of them; they'd be embarrassed if I named them. And maybe I'll take poetic license occasionally when I'm storytelling, but I'm sure they'll see themselves here. Still, I'd like to pass along some lessons I've learned/heard/seen around the table with ladies of the The Breakfast Club.

Two of my friends are in a long term battle with cancer. And they are battling hard because because…because…well, as Libby said this week with a shrug of her shoulders, describing her first day of her third round of chemo – "What else are you going to do?" And I think, "Give up maybe?" But that's just not in their vocabulary. These women have friendships to nurture, grandchildren to love, churches that are counting on them. They can't do everything they used to do, but they are not giving up anytime soon. I know they still struggle. Sometimes they complain a little, ("that doctor's office has no concept of time, I always take a book along.") but negativity is not their focus. It's not where they spend their days, wishing life were different or looking around in discontent. No, they are continuing to learn and grow. (This one wants you to send her an e-mail, that one is having trouble with her computer because she just got Windows 8. Insert eye roll; she is not pleased.) They are facing forward, they are looking ahead, they are moving on.

Take Nora for example. This week she had her final radiation treatment, the last of 33 weekdays of driving her 75+ year old self to the nearest hospital, 15 miles from her house, and waiting her turn for the ray, an ordeal which followed months of chemo and weakness and hair loss.

Belle brought flowers in celebration of this milestone. There was a card propped nearby which I assumed accompanied the flowers…but as the meal progressed, Nora revealed that she had brought the card. "Last night I read this quote, and I said to myself, 'Oh, I'll have to remember that and share it tomorrow.' Then I thought, 'Who am I kidding, I'll never remember it.' So I got up and wrote it down." But she didn't just scribble it off on a piece of scrap paper and shove it in her purse, she wrote it out in her teacher penmanship, twice, and glued the carefully copied words on both sides of a folded piece of bright orange construction paper so she could read it while she shared it with us. When I am cruising near 80, I fervently hope I am still reading and copying thoughts to pass along to my friends. Now, let me tell you the quote. I think I'll call it...

Breakfast Club Lesson #1:

"Everything God does is purposeful. And since God is in each of us, each of us has a purpose."

She went on to comment quietly, "You know, sometimes you do kind of get to wondering if you still have a purpose…" I wanted to hug her on the spot and confirm that she does does does still have a purpose, and none of us can imagine the Breakfast Club without her. But I didn't. Later, I called her to get the exact words of the quote (I should have said to myself during breakfast, "who am I kidding, I'll never remember it...") and I did tell her how much I needed her presence, her wisdom, her perspective, her personal interest in my life. But I want to say it again, so... ...for what it's worth, Nora,...and Libby...and Belle, I think this is part of yourpurpose, to show up at the Breakfast Club and keep me grounded in what is truly important in life, and to help me let go of what doesn't really matter. My life is full and fuller, and I often feel pulled in three directions. But some days I struggle not to complain about all that isn't. (Not much time for "me"… This isn't what I dreamed of when I projected forward thirty years ago…Does what I do even matter?) Inconsequential stuff sometimes threatens to completely obscure my vision. I need the Breakfast Club to help me clean my perspective glasses and realize...

That there are worse things than a really messy house - like no one in it to mess it up. That I will not, any time soon, die of tomatoes. Or grapes. (And I have a family to consume those jars of pizza sauce and salsa and ketchup and tomato chunks…) That I have the strength and stamina to hike with my son and his friend (even if I would occasionally prefer to sit and read a book for the afternoon.) That when you are alone and it wasn't your choice, you still have apurpose even though your husband and/or children have gone away. (And for the young -or older?!- moms, who feel that you are never alone, and that isn't always your choice - you just wanted to go to the bathroom alone one time this week - you too have a purpose.)

And what is that purpose? To be YOU, The person God is calling-leading-allowing-shaping-directing you to be this day, this week, this month. So, keep looking for and following your purpose,right now, right here, in this place, in this season of your life. Because everything God does is purposeful. And since God is in YOU, YOU have a purpose.

And that was my lessson from the Ladies of the (Breakfast) Club this month. They have so much wisdom, so much to teach me, and they don't even know it. They are just being themselves - funny, real women whose friendships I deeply treasure. Tonight they've got me pondering my purpose and counting my blessings...and also counting the days until the next meeting of The Breakfast Club. ~Hummin' B~

Because you were you For what's its worth if it wasn't for you (and Max) I probably would never have made it this far in life. So thank you. I am sure your other children would feel the same way.

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I'm finding my way beyond the maze of the "middle" years (if I'm gonna be 100 and something someday...) ​living life as a country woman who is a writer, gardener, wife, mom, nature observer, teacher,and most of all a much loved child of God.