Despite his two goals against West Brom last weekend, on-loan jumping-and-heading-man Andy Carroll hasn't done enough to convince West Ham or anyone else to meet Liverpool's £18m valuation of him. The Mirror "understands" that the giant Geordie will have talks with Brendan Rodgers in the coming weeks, in the hope that Liverpool's manager can find a role for Carroll in what is described as the manager's "high-energy passing game".

The Mirror reports, in what is presumably a bid to ensure both the player and the club who paid £35m for him lose as little face as possible, Carroll will be welcomed back to Anfield if he agrees to a role as an impact sub, changes his name by deed poll to Plan B, promises not to sulk when he's left festering on the bench and undertakes a training ground programme to increase his mobility. What could possibly go wrong?

Rodgers is also being linked with a move for Southampton forward Jay Rodriguez, presumably having been impressed by the 23-year-old's man-of-the-match performance when Saints schooled Liverpool at Saint Mary's just before the recent international break.

Aston Villa striker Christian Benteke scores quite a few goals and is valued at £15m. Tottenham's strikers don't score many goals and are on their way out of White Hart Lane. You do the math(s). Alternatively, look at the back page of the Daily Star, where the math(s) has/have been done for you.

The number of Serbian internationals named 'Nemanja' playing for Manchester United will increase by one, if talk linking the Premier League champions elect with Benfica midfielder Nemanja Matić turns out to be correct.Formerly of Chelsea, until he was sent to Portugal with £21m in a deal that resulted in David Luiz moving in the other direction, the 24-year-old's man-of-the-match performance against Porto earlier this year earned him a contract extension until 2018, which has a reported buy-out clause of €45m.

Chelsea have told the Mr 15% of their Belgian midfielder Kevin de Bruyne, currently on loan at Werder Bremen, that they would like the 21-year-old to play for a "bigger club", according to the German newspaper Süddeutsche Zeitung. Expect a clamour from clubs that are bigger than Werder Bremen, but not as big as Chelsea.

The Telegraph reports that Barcelona, Real Madrid and Bayern Munich have got their kitchen scales out and are "weighing up" a move for Vincent Kompany, the Manchester City captain who apparently incurred Robert Mancini's wrath for insisting on playing in Belgium's World Cup qualifier against Macedonia even though he'd just recovered from injury. In better news for Etihad regulars, Yaya Toure is close to agreeing an even more lucrative new deal with the club and ready to pretend he really loves Manchester City again.

And finally, Chris Hughton wants to sign 19-year-old Birmingham City winger Nathan Redmond, while speculation linking Paul Ince with Nigel Pearson's job at Leicester City could result in Blackpool facing their fifth managerial change this season.