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CrossFit-itis

CrossFit-itis: the overwhelming obsession with CrossFit and all things related to it.
Also known as: CrossFit-aholism, CFS (CrossFit Syndrome)

I have a confession to make: I have recently (and perhaps not so recently) been diagnosed with CrossFit-itis. I am currently dealing with this in the best way I know how (i.e. by not treating it at all and allowing it to spread), but I feel obliged to share some of the symptoms in case others are afflicted by this as well.

You spontaneously do workouts in random places. For example:

You do as many air squats as possible in the elevator between the floor you get on and the floor you get off.

You do as many push-ups as possible in the kitchen while the microwave is doing its thing.

Whenever you pass through a school playground, you (try to) do pull-ups on the jungle gym.

You were trying to smell the thyme growing on the walkway in your backyard, and decided to do burpees on top of them (the smell is released when you step on the thyme, so you jump on it, then squat down to smell it).

You have probably watched every CrossFit video on YouTube.

You spend the better part of your free time going backwards through the CrossFit Journal. (You’ve had a subscription for a month and you’re somewhere around 2007.)

You continually refresh the gym website, hoping that tomorrow’s workout is posted.

You continually refresh the gym website, hoping there’s a cool picture of you doing something that looks hard so you can post it on Facebook.

You have to budget a weekly milk allowance, and you write haikus like this:

goats, camels, and cows
all produce delicious milk
and they taste good, too.

Nothing is ever “good enough”.

If you suffer from one or more of the above, please rejoice and alert the kingdomyour nearest CrossFit affiliate.