He DID Olde Punk! He even chose the last line. Carving out this time together has been a big priority the last three or four months. Touch and words are much more my love languages than his but I think he has discovered a new appreciation for both.

Kevin has been an unsung hero these last 10 months while my mood has been a roller coaster- he has kept our household afloat, literally saved Christmas and along with some good friends (and some very fine mental health professionals,) has kept me from falling into the abyss. I had been pretty stable the rest of our relationship (12 years) and this has been a challenging and I think scary experience for him at times. It is rare that I get the opportunity to publicly thank him and he is a pretty private guy, but he really appreciates the power of this kind of time together. We had to really work to prioritize making space for this reconnection but we have the advantage of having one child off at college and the sharing custody of the other with her bio dad.

I’m glad you had someone there for you. Me and my wife are still having to work at it and we really need to prioritize our moments together. Hard to do when you have a 3 year old and physical and mental illness to deal with. Still I wouldn’t want it any other way, we’ll always be there for each other.

Once again, you capture my heart’s desire. So few are lucky enough to have this haven. Good for you and your husband. Lovely. I get the whole thing about needing a lot of support. It’s been on if those years (last year) for sure.

We were pretty distant there for quite some time and it took a lot for me to tell him I was in trouble and that we might have been in trouble. It has taken a lot of work on both our parts to get to this current place. As you are aware, long-term relationships can be very cyclical and it can be surprisingly easy to drift away from each other. Some very wise women (who were HAPPY to kick me in the ass!) reminded me that I couldn’t chose how he responded to me but that I had a lot of choice in how I reached out and responded to him.

I have to chime in here. Yes, I whole heartedly need an intimate, sacred place. Sex and intimacy is just a basic term for it, to me. I deeply crave, and for a little while, found that deep, comfortable contentment that trancends just making love and intimacy. It truly is restoring and i would never settle for less ever again. Sometimes people don’t know this until they’ve found it.

Thank you for providing some deeply needed perspective Mark. I am embarrassed to admit that it simply never had occurred to me until my first encounter with my husband that men bring as many insecurities and needs to bed that women do. He was the first man who was ever open with me about what vulnerable experience it was.