BREAKING NOW: Frosty Rejecting Eyes Made Out of Coal

Posted December 27, 2018byIrene Heifetz

NORTH POLE, DECEMBER 2018 – Frosty The Snowman’s is rejecting his two eyes made out of coal. Scientists have determined that this is the final phase of Frosty’s determination to live a green life with no carbon output.

In addition to giving up smoking his corncob pipe, Frosty recently became a Solar Advocate. “Global Warming is causing all the snow in the North Pole to melt,” stated Snowman. This puts the creation of all future Snowmen at risk. We are becoming an endangered species.”

North Pole resident Kris Kringle, who is also CEO of local business “Santa’s Workshop” agrees. “My workshop utilizes a huge amount of electricity” said Kringle. “Once I converted my business to solar energy, my utility bills plummeted and I’m producing clean, green energy. This protects the snow and protects my Snowmen neighbors such as Frosty from melting away.”

Neighboring town of Whooville recently drafted a bill that asks local businesses and homes to follow Kringle’s example and convert to solar energy. They are aiming to have 50% of their power derived from solar panels no later than 2020 (Property owners want to make sure they take advantage of the 30% Federal Tax Credit for solar which ends in 2019). The bill has bi-partisan support with the exception of Representative T. Grinch.

Frosty the Snowman is seeking eye donations derived from sustainable materials such as bamboo, straw, or cork. Property owners can also support Frosty (and save money on their utility bills while generating clean energy) by learning more about the benefits of solar energy.