Rich Eisen Has ‘Getting Recruited By The Cops’ Speed

It’s probably a sad commentary on the combine that a lot of people view Rich Eisen running the 40 as the highlight of the entire event. Then again, it’s hard to deny America’s love affair with lumbering, middle-aged white guys. Gotta hand it to Eisen – he’s steadily improved his time over the eight years he’s subjected us to his stunt. At this rate, Rich will have RGIII’s 40 time in, oh [pulls out abacus] 15 years. Save your draft picks, Washington, trading up for Eisen won’t come cheap.

That’s a decent effort, MJD. Next time, stuck to your A-material.

You know, if Eisen wants to make a spectacle of himself, the least we could do is put him through the rectal depth measurements that actual draftees have to go through. Who knows? Eisen could grade out as a first-round talent as pegboy for ol’ Double J.

Elsewhere:

– Barry Sanders filed for divorce from his wife. That’s a shame. Most believe he could have had at least four or five years of happy marriage before he would have had to hang it up.

– In his regular Tuesday follow-up to MMQB, Peter King examines the likely destinations for Peyton Manning. Among them, he lists Seattle, a city he describes as pleasingly “remote” where Manning could enjoy “relative privacy”. Yeah, I can imagine after playing in a media epicenter like Indianapolis for over a decade, Pey-Pey could use a deserted outpost like Seattle, where the Seahawks play on the expansive lawn of some guy’s cabin in the woods.

– Marcus Vick is in hot water with John Law yet again. Best case scenario: he goes to Mike for help, they high tail it for the border but trip themselves up by holding up a McDonalds just before crossing into Mexico.

• You can get to CenturyLink Field by a train that serves coffee.
• The Mariners’ SafeCo Field is across the street. The Red Sox play there occasionally
• The Pyramid Brewery is also right there. They’ll give you unlimited lemon slices for your Hefeweizen
• There’s an industrial wharf right there full of gritty, throwback longshoremen