Wladimir Klitschko is Murdering Hayden Panettiere’s Vagina Again

When considering going through with vagina murder, you don’t book a meeting with an all talk, no-action noob like Amanda Bynes. You want Hayden Panettiere, because she’s a goddamn expert on getting her vagina murdered daily.

On Sunday, 5’2″ Panettiere was spotted at a Miami Heat game making out with her 6’6″ ex-boyfriend, Ukrainian boxer Wladimir Klitschko. To recap, they broke up in 2011 after two years. He said managing a relationship “between two continents” was too difficult.

In actuality, it was because a reverse penis pump had yet to be invented. I mean, can you imagine sex between these two? It’s soul crushing.