Most seem to hate it when Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times gets up on his perch to crow about something or other, partially because it’s so smug and holier-than-thou in execution, but also partially because he’s wildly inconsistent and regularly hypocritical. The latter reason is something that was especially noticeable today, as he riffed on Diamondbacks GM Kevin Towers‘ comments about beanballs and the Dodgers.

It’s not that I disagreed with his article regarding the D-Backs acting like idiots, but Plaschke picks and chooses what he’s outraged about in the moment instead of making sense throughout.

Here’s what he says about Towers:

These comments should eventually result in a fat suspension and hefty fine from a league office that shouldn’t look kindly on a team official advocating the use of a baseball thrown in excess of 90 mph to inflict bodily harm and possibly endanger lives.

But for now, one can only look at Towers’ classless, playground-bully words with pity.

This quiet determination seemed to be missing at the end of last season, when his pitches were bombed and his reputation was hammered.

It happened in Game 2 of the National League Championship Series, when Billingsley hit several Phillies bats and broke one major clubhouse law.

Throughout the night, Phillies pitchers chased Dodgers hitters off the plate while Billingsley — who should have been more confidently aggressive with his 16 regular-season wins and 3.14 ERA — let Phillies hitters comfortably stand.

Dodgers hitters ducked while Phillies hitters swatted. Dodgers hitters dived while Phillies hitters soared. The Phillies took an 8-5 victory while Billingsley gave up eight runs (seven earned) without even making it out of the third inning.

Towers is endangering lives, but Billingsley is a wuss.

Note that Plaschke is calling for basically the same thing that Towers is.

Got it, Bill.

On Towers:

What Towers said, however, is far worse, because lives are involved here. Somebody could get hurt. That somebody, of course, would not be Towers, because he won’t have to walk to home plate with a bat. Here’s hoping major-league baseball knocks him on his butt, and the Diamondbacks regain their pride in just being the Diamondbacks without continually attacking the Dodgers.

On Billingsley:

Everyone forgot his 200 2/3 innings pitched, his 201 strikeouts, his Cy Young potential, and his ripe old age of 24. Everyone remembered how, earlier in the season, San Francisco’s Matt Cain hit Ramirez in the head and Billingsley didn’t retaliate then, either.

“I thought to myself, this is a kid who needs to send his next Christmas card from the beach,” Colletti says. “Next year, he needs to have blue water behind him.”

Filled, perhaps, with a couple of splashing guys he knocked in there with his fastball.

So while Plaschke concern trolls about beanballs and how they endanger lives today, four years ago he did EXACTLY what Towers did, which was call for Billingsley to randomly drill players or else he’ll go down as soft. Worse yet, the tone of his article about the Dodgers and Phillies in 2009 sounded exactly like what he just accused the D-Backs of being towards the Dodgers: insecure and petty about being inferior.

So just to be clear, if a Dodgers pitcher does not retaliate for brushback pitches, he’s a coward, loses the clubhouse, and it invalidates his entire year. But if another team wants to hit the Dodgers, they’re endangering lives and it’s a childish practice.

Which one is it, Bill?

All of this is just to point out that the next time Plaschke decides to do a hit piece (or writes anything, really) on a Dodger player for whatever asinine reason, please just ignore him. It’s what he deserves.

Although Kershaw will never admit it, his pitch that plunked the Arizona Diamondbacks’ Gerardo Parra in the elbow in the sixth inning of the Dodgers’ eventual 3-2 victory appeared to be a retaliation for Parra’s crotch-grabbing, home-run posing insult of the Dodgers on Tuesday night.

Kershaw was immediately ejected, and some might think his Cy Young bid was derailed, but I propose that it was cemented. At a moment where he would have been excused the greatest of selfishness, he threw one for the team. By hitting Parra, he had everything to lose but his teammates’ respect, yet clearly decided he would rather have that respect.

Kershaw could have played it safe and finished the game and nobody would have blamed him. But Kershaw obviously couldn’t forget the previous night, when Parra was angered by an inside pitch from Hong-Chih Kuo in the seventh inning, and then taunted the Dodgers with gestures both before and after his ensuing home run.

The Dodgers found this particularly insulting because Kuo has spent this season suffering from an unexplainable wildness known as “Steve Blass disease.” It’s difficult to throw at a batter when you have no idea where the ball is going. It is no secret that Kuo has sought psychological help for his condition. It should have been no secret to Parra that Kuo was clearly not throwing at him.

It didn’t matter. Parra acted like a punk. The players on both benches barked at each other. Nobody barked louder than Kershaw, who could be seen yelling, “We’ll find out … we’ll find out … let’s go!”

On Wednesday night, we found out. The kid has toughness to go with his greatness, leadership to match his skill.

I understood why Kershaw did it, because Parra wasn’t celebrating as much as screaming at Hong Chih Kuo and begging for a fight if Kuo gave a single fuck about him. But still, if Plaschke is advocating for retaliation against other teams, why not regarding retaliation against the Dodgers?

Ian Kennedy was suspended 10 games “for intentionally throwing a pitch in the head area of Zack Greinke of the Dodgers in the bottom of the seventh inning, after a warning had already been issued to both Clubs earlier in the game.”

Eric Hinske was suspended five games for leaving the dugout and for “his aggressive actions,” which included hitting/slapping Yasiel Puig in the face.

J.P. Howell and Skip Schumaker were each suspended for two games for “aggressive actions.”

Ronald Belisario was suspended one game for “aggressive actions.”

Hitting coach Mark McGwire was suspended two games “for his conduct during the incidents.”

Both managers, Don Mattingly and Kirk Gibson, were suspended for one game; Mattingly “for the actions of his club and his conduct during the incidents” and Gibson for “the intentional actions of Kennedy after a warning had been issued.”

Fines, but no suspensions, were also handed out to Zack Greinke, Puig, Miguel Montero and Gerardo Parra.

Both managers will serve their one-game suspensions on Friday night. McGwire will serve his suspension Friday and Saturday in Pittsburgh.

The Dodgers were also fined for having players on the disabled list (namely, Chris Capuano and Josh Beckett) leave the dugout during the fracas. As an additional punishment, no Dodger on the disabled list will be allowed to sit in the dugout all weekend during their series at PNC Park.

L.A. then addressed the lack of catching depth in the system by claiming John Baker, formerly of the Padres, off waivers.

The Dodgers addressed their lack of catching depth on Saturday, claiming backstop John Baker on waivers from the Padres. The Dodgers optioned the 32-year-old catcher to Triple-A Albuquerque.

Baker hit .150/.261/.150 (6-for-40) in 16 games for the Padres this season, and was designated for assignment on Monday. In parts of six seasons with the Marlins and Padres, Baker is a career .258/.342/.364 hitter.

Baker was also on the field during the Dodgers’ brawl with the Padres on Apr. 11, and was originally thought to be the San Diego player mocking that Zack Greinke broke his collarbone that set Jerry Hairston off. Though Baker vehemently denied any such role, and was one of the one who helped pull Greinke off the pile.

Baker is making $930,000 this season, so with 107 days remaining in the 183-day season the Dodgers are on the hook for approximately $543,770.

Well … that would make for an interesting clubhouse, no?

Baker will head to AAA and be available should an injury occur to A.J. or Tim Federowicz. I’d be shocked if the Dodgers went with three catchers again, outside of perhaps the odd series here or there with an American League team.

After yesterday’s debacle, today certainly seemed to be must see television, but after Clayton Kershaw pitched normally to Gerardo Parra in the third inning, it did seem like today’s game would proceed normally.

In the top of sixth inning, however, with Parra at-bat for the second time, Kershaw threw a strike and then grazed Parra on the elbow with an inside fastball, leading home plate umpire Bill Welke to eject him.

Tonight’s game was a rather uneventful affair in what amounted to a meaningless game for the Dodgers, only notable for Chad Billinglsey’s continued inability to miss bats and Jerry Sands’ solid all-around game. For better or worse though, Gerardo Parra decided to spice things up for everybody involved in the top of the seventh after he took offense to a high and inside pitch from Hong Chih Kuo.

The pitch in question (below) sailed on Kuo up and in after A.J. Ellis clearly set up on the outside corner. Parra obviously took offense to the pitch immediately, staring at Kuo and grabbing his crotch, though Kuo himself didn’t seem to care or notice.

My thoughts? Parra clearly wasn’t thinking at all. Obviously he might not know that Kuo went on the disabled list with the yips and that he has been quite bad for the entire year, but he could know that hitting a batter for no reason whatsoever in the top of the seventh inning while ahead by one run is less than logical.

Idiot.

Apparently though, on ESPN’s Baseball Tonight, Chris Singleton and Mark Mulder thought Parra was justified, which reinforces the point that players are usually idiots and should rarely be used as analysts.

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After Parra hit a home run off Kuo later in the at-bat was when the real trouble started though, as he pimped the homer, stared down Kuo while rounding the bases, and jawed a bit with Ellis.

I may have taken a few liberties with the GIF interpretation of the events. Maybe.

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As expected, the Dodgers dugout was none too happy with the events that transpired and jawed with Matt Williams, and Clayton Kershaw in particular was quite animated.

Welp, if nothing else, this just gave me a damn good reason to watch tomorrow’s game.