Running 911

A Florida man recently called 911 to report that a fast food restaurant had run out of lemonade. Also recently—and also in Florida; coincidence?—another man phoned 911 after a convenience store clerk refused to sell him beer. And two other guys (guess in which state?) reported a drug deal gone bad to a 911 dispatcher. Yeah, it was their own drug deal.

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I had no idea that 911 was so versatile. Or that Floridians were so wacky.

These stories, though, made me realize something more important: I have been seriously under-utilizing 911.

Like most upstanding folks, I had always assumed that 911 was for emergencies only, such as sensing imminent danger to oneself or others, reporting an accident, witnessing a monkey attack, etc. Apparently it can be used as your own private call center, for all kinds of complaints and requests for help.

Certainly there are plenty of times, as a runner, that I could use a little emergency assistance. For instance...

"911. What's your emergency?""I'm halfway through the Hill Loop, out by the church, and I need to find a bathroom—stat!"

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