I have more issues with the article, but I’ll just leave this here for the moment.

But here’s a list of things I’ve read regarding classical music at various times:

It calms dogs down.
It enhances mental alertness and memory.
It makes cows give more milk.
It rids places of loiterers and deter crime.
It comforts and relaxes people.
It punishes students for bad behavior.
It lowers blood pressure.
It helps fight depression and manage pain.
It will improve your sleep quality.
It can make you more at ease and open with yourself.
It might promote honest communication of your emotions.

Oh … and of course goldfish prefer Bach, Beethoven can help crops grow more quickly, and chickens produce bigger and heavier eggs with Mozart.