Don't go, friend. You feel stupid, but... listen, you have a lot still that is of use even if you can't do calculus any more. Older folks have wisdom. Life wisdom. We haven't even drunk a bucket from your well, only little drops. How can you take away the source from us?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette

(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote: And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.

(18-12-2016 08:06 PM)earmuffs Wrote: Banjo.. you are seriously overestimating the stupidity of the average person.
You could lose 50 points of IQ and still be the smartest man in the room. Think about that, they literally have to pump your brain with some pretty nasty shit just so they can even get close to standing a chance. Calling yourself stupid is the stupidest shit I've ever seen you say.

You gotta keep going man. What happens if you win? You're gonna look back and be pretty damn thankful you didn't knock yourself off.
If you feel you're confused sometimes that's fine, let us tell you that you are being thinking confused right now.

Thanks Muffs.

It's just one of those days. I got through it.

I spoke to my brother and he has recommended I use a device to record details. This way I don't have to rely on memory.

Obviously this morning it was as you say, I was, and probably remain, confused. That is no time to make important decisions. And it is not the first time I have felt this way. Last time I went straight to the hospital.

Christina just Skyped me from Norway. "Lady day" is her handle here. She wanted to check on me. She was very kind and helped a lot.

I think I was hoping to get my old life back. I must face the fact it is never going to happen. Now I must readjust. Illness combined with aging.....

At least I am not as stupid as someone like Tomasia.

If I go that far down, then I will have a good excuse to off myself.

Thanks everyone for the kind words and encouragement. It means a lot.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.

Banjo, you're going to make for one very embarassed shade if you survive cancer, chemo, and everything else (I doubt I know even a tenth of it) just to succumb to underestimating your own intellect. Here's what you need to do:

- Stand in awe with the rest of us at the unparalleled wonder of their incoherent ravings. Marvel with us at the paradox that anything that unspeakably stoopid could be uttered by something that can comprehend the written word.

- Remind yourself that that is average intelligence. IQ 100. It's a miracle that it walks upright most of the time. Weep for our species.

That is the bar. The day that you fall below the wits necessary for your average YouTube comment you may contemplate final solutions. Not one moment before that. You have to beat this:

PS: I hope this rant doesn't make you feel suicidal out of despair for the human race. You know, any more than usual.

---

Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.

(19-12-2016 12:32 AM)Banjo Wrote: At least I am not as stupid as someone like Tomasia.

If I go that far down, then I will have a good excuse to off myself.

Damn. Ninjaed by my target audience.

You were saying something about being stoopid?

---

Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.

Well my brain is not working. I had hoped it would return with some sharpness, but this is not the case. I laid the blame on the experimental drug but now believe it was destroyed by the massive amount of chemotherapy I endured.

I am basically stupid. Slow, confused all the time and just not right in the head.

Hi Banjo. Whereabouts in Australia are you?

As others have suggested, if you can't get through to Lifeline/Beyond-blue then call the hospital on their mental health crisis number, and if that's to no avail keep trying the hotlines.

I'm really sorry to hear about your physical and mental health conditions. A friend of mine sustained brain damage when he was only 19 or 20 - he spent I think two weeks or so unconscious on a drip! I don't remember if he was in a coma, or if they were keeping him unconscious intentionally (I think he was in a coma, but this was ~10 years ago so I could be mistaken). I assume that it's had lifelong effects for him, but if you met him you wouldn't know that anything ever happened to him.

As you correctly say, you do need to readjust your life around who you are now now, not who you were 20 years ago. Also, remember how lucky you are to be alive. I absolutely agree that the effects of chemo drugs can be awful - but it's a lot better than the effect of death!