Warehouse 13

Warehouse 13 (2009–2014) was a science fiction TV series which premiered on the SyFy channel on July 7, 2009 as the third largest debut on the SyFy channel to date. The series focuses around the Warehouse 13 where objects of a certain type of power, called "artifacts", and its two agents, Myka and Pete. The final episode 'Endless' aired on May 19, 2014.

Belski: Banks just hand over the money. Everyone's shy on the details.

Pete: Which is strange.

Belski: Tell me something I don't know.

Pete: Uh, Mary, Queen of Scots' croquet mallet was made from a petrified narwhal's horn. She never lost a match.

Myka: What is it with men and their balls?

Pete: Yeah.

Myka: There's three suspects, including Fissel. One was a woman.

Pete: You sure?

Myka: Yeah, I... felt her.

Pete: You touched her boobies?

Artie: You know, um, I had a case once where pollen from a prehistoric plant turned a woman into a sexually rapacious sleepwalker. And she was unaware that she was doing that until she, you know, pulled the pants off...

Pete: Okay, get this, there's an access panel on the roof. It'll bring us in right above the main wiring for the security system. Now, we crawl on our bellies, we can avoid the motion system. And what do you mean "this time"?

Myka: Having intel in the field keeps an agent alive, Pete. But Artie acts like keeping us alive isn't a priority. To him we're just...

Pete: Redshirts?

Myka: Yeah.

Pete: Okay. First, he doesn't think we're redshirts. And second, that's so cool you knew what I meant.

James MacPherson: Hello, Arthur.

Artie: James.

James MacPherson: Good to see you after all these years.

Artie: Wish I could say the same.

James MacPherson: Well, not while you're pointing a gun at me or trying to.

Artie: Well, no, you're an invisible guy with a sword. I think you might have the advantage over me.

Myka: This is Lewis Carroll's mirror. Alice in Wonderland. "Off with their heads."

Pete: That's chick lit, right?

Myka: Chick lit?

Pete: Yeah. Come on. Not everything in here is dangerous. You got that cuddly little ferret from a cooking pot.

Myka: Yeah, he peed in my shoes.

Pete: That's... that was me.

Myka: That's funny.

Myka: I'm not mad at Artie, I'm mad at you.

Pete: No you're not mad at me.

Myka: Yes I am.

Pete: You're not mad at me, you're not mad at me. Because when you're mad at me, your neck gets all long until it looks like that. It's like a giraffe over there. And then when you get mad at Artie, your neck gets over here to the right. Yes! Just like that.

Pete: O-M-G, what's the B-F-D?

Artie: What? Iniquitous hands with the means to exploit fate.

Claudia: "Iniquitous " means "bad."

Pete: Thanks, Roget.

Myka: Which means we're looking for one thing and it should be in their possession.

Pete: Why?

Myka: It's Carson's Rule of Linear Transfer.

Pete: Gesundheit.

Myka: Here's what you and I both know but we never talk about it. All right?

Artie: Mm-hmm.

Myka: That I don't trust you. That I need you to tell me the truth... and to not treat me like some chess piece that you move around on a board that only you can see. That I am valuable. That I matter. And that I deserve to know everything I can about this world that you send me into every day so at least I have a fighting chance. You know, in spite of everything... in spite of everything, I like you. I think you're great. And I want you to think the same of me.

Leena: Myka did name the ferret. She's just not telling Pete the name.

Claudia: Why not?

Artie: Because she named it Pete.

Myka: Ugh, it's cute but so annoying.

Alice: So what tipped you?

Pete: (triumphantly) The real Myka... would never kiss me. Never! Not if her life depended on it. Which is...

Reverend Hill: The cruelest prison is the one we build for ourselves out of fear and regret.

Reverend Hill: To feel remorse is to shame God

Pete: I want you to know that you can tell me things

Myka: You use soap on a rope?

Pete: Hey, I don't judge your personal hygiene products. Although you might wanna invest and get some moisturizers. You look a little dry around the nose.

Myka: Oh, you want to swap beauty tips. Then we can talk about the hair that's sprouting from your shoulders, your nose, and, your, umm, ears. (plucks a hair from his ear)

Pete: Owww!

Myka: Or you could just tell me about the prison suicides.

Pete: Well, let's go with the prison suicides.

Claudia: Oh, hi, Artie. Hi. Huh, funny story. So I kind of, uh, tried to fix this light bulb, even though you expressly told me not too. And man, have I learned my lesson! You're so right about this place. You just never know what to expect. Okay, you're pissed. Can we move past that part for now and get to the part where you get me down from here?

Artie: That wouldn't be Volta's lab coat that you're wearing?

Claudia: All part of the hilarious story I should really tell you when I'm back on planet Earth.

Artie: The reason, Claudia, that Volta's lab coat is in the warehouse is because Volta couldn't control its magnetic field. As you may have noticed, each metallic object that it connects to makes the coat stronger and stronger!

Claudia: That explains so much. Thank you.

Claudia: Would it have killed you to put a warning label on this thing?

Artie: Saying what? "Only put on in case of stupid?"

Pete: Maybe the old Bible banger had something that was curing the crazy.

Myka: Right.

Pete: Maybe this is what Mrs. Frederick meant by "endless freaking wonder."