We started with poop we could tell when he needed to go bc he would hide so we just followed him stripped him and then ran to the potty and he would poop on it. Then for pee we would hang out and play in the back yard all day and he would be naked and pee on a tree or whatever when he had to go that way there were no messes to clean up and no clothes with pee on them. I know you were venting but it's just a suggestion for when you decide to try again.