“Mate, you know when I said it couldn’t be worse?” He inquired groggily. “Yes, Ron,” Harry sighed. “I take it back.” He mumbled. “I know Ron.” Harry replied. This is just a short funny One-shot written as a cure for writer's block. Creature fic!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! Or Mr. Potato Head, or the
Jolly Green Giant, or any other product that comes up as I write.

Summary: Harry could never have a cool inheritance, surrounded
by Veelas, Vampires, unidentified were creatures, and even one lone
Fairy, he got to shrink several feet and protect pots of gold at the
end of rainbows. For some reason he is NOT happy about it. You
wouldn't be happy either if you woke up green.

A/N I was both incredibly bored and suffering from writer's block
on my chaptered stories when this little ditty just popped into my
head. I seriously think there is a whole herd of plot bunnies just
waiting to jump people in dark alleys.

Rating: T this isn't a very harsh story, but there is minor
language, the T rating is playing it very safe.

Warnings: Not much, a bit of language and sarcastic humor,
also there might be some slight parody aspects in some places, know
that it is all in good fun and I am only spoofing the clichés I have
done myself, I am by no means trying to offend any author or degrade
any story. This is just for fun and a cure for writer's block.
Slight Slashyness may be hinted at but nothing major.

The boy who lived to be a Leprechaun

"Oh come on Harry, it can't be that bad!" Ron yelled through
the bathroom door of the sixth year boys' dorm.

"You have no idea, just go away!" Harry answered, adding yet
another layer of locking charms on the door baring the other boys
entrance.

You may be wondering why Harry Potter Gryffindor Golden Boy and all
around hero has locked himself in the bathroom refusing to be seen by
anyone. Well in answer to that we have to flash back to the night
before, supper time in the Great Hall to be exact.

Everyone was in the hall chatting while they ate, many were well on
their way to finishing off their meal and heading back to their
common rooms for homework and then bed. When something only slightly
out of the ordinary, even for Hogwarts, happened. Dumbledore rose to
his feet and tapped his glass for silence, which he received
immediately.

"Students, I have a very important announcement, the ministry had
decided that in order to protect the magic all of you possess it is
in everyone's best interest to give you access to ALL of your
magic." Dumbledore paused there to let the confusion sink in.
"Included in every goblet on the table is a potion graciously
provided by our own Professor Snape," At Dumbledore's sweeping
hand gesture Snape sneered at the students, showing off just how
un-graciously the potion was provided.

"This potion will not harm you in any way, all it will do is
encourage any extra potential you may possess to activate. If any of
your family has creature blood inside of it, or any recessive genetic
gift, you will receive it tonight as you sleep. I am here to reassure
you the process is perfectly safe and will not hurt. When the exact
nature of your changes become known, you will have twenty-four hours
to register the changes with the ministry. Good luck to all of you
and have a wonderful evening." Dumbledore finished his speech and
sat back down.

For some reason no one was really hungry anymore, though there was
one student incredibly angry at the whole situation. "Why do we
have to do this again! With Voldemort still out there the ministry
wants to turn Hogwarts into some kind of a menagerie. I just know
this is not going to turn out well." Harry grumbled as he face
planted into the Gryffindor table.

"I think its wicked, what do you have to worry about mate, you are
Harry Potter you know you're going to have some awesomely powerful
transformation." Ron said as he slapped Harry on the shoulder,
Harry just whimpered in reply.

'This can't end well! What is Dumbledore thinking letting the
ministry do this to us. This is the last thing I need, I bet he
planned this the whole time. I knew he had it in for me the moment I
met him,' Harry's thoughts continued with him sinking further
into angst filled paranoia.

And that is what lead to the current situation of Harry shooting out
of his bed that morning and into the bathroom before any of his
roommates could blink, still refusing to come out even as it neared
noon.

The other boys of the dorm had taken to sitting outside of the door
naming off random creatures, trying to guess what he was. The big
ones like Veela, vampire, werewolf, demon, angel, and fae were all
met with a whimper from the boy behind the door. Apparently he was
none of these.

"Did I tell you Harry, that Malfoy is a fairy?" Ron asked,
evoking a slightly hysteric giggle from Harry.

"Who else changed?" Harry's high squeaky voice tentatively
asked.

"Well Neville is a half-gnome, Ginny is a Banshee, Seamus is a
vampire, Dean is a were something, we are not quite sure what,
Crabbe and Goyle really are trolls, and Snape was already a vampire
so nothing new." Ron would have continued further if Harry hadn't
sighed a bit and asked.

"Did anyone change color?"

"What do you mean change color?" Ron was worried now, but a
little relieved when he heard Harry begin to strip away the locking
charms on the door… fifteen minutes later the door swung open.

"Ah Harry, did you know you happen to be a lovely shade of green?"
Neville, who was much shorter and stockier with just a bit of an
elongated skull asked as he revealed slightly pointed teeth.

"Sure I shrink several feet, and the only thing you comment on is
the fact my skin is now a walking banner for Slytherin." Harry
moaned, and then it hit Neville, not only was Harry green, he was
also only about a foot and a half tall. "Nev, I think I am a bloody
Leprechaun!"

"Harry, you can't be a full Leprechaun, they are only six inches
tall and are a much brighter shade of green." Dean informed him,
looking a lot more muscular and almost feline.

"Oh goody so I am some weird hybrid, whoopee, I am still short and
green." Harry hollered as Ron came around.

"Mate, you know when I said it couldn't be worse?" He inquired
groggily.

"Yes, Ron," Harry sighed.

"I take it back." He mumbled.

"I know Ron." Harry replied.

"So are we ready to go to lunch, we registered at Breakfast but you
still have to." Neville interrupted before Ron could stick his foot
even deeper into his mouth.

"Do I have too?" Harry squeaked.

"Yes Harry, you do, at least there is one good thing in this mess."
Seamus told Harry with his fangs flashing into view every once and
awhile.

"You can still defeat you-know-who, all he will have to do is look
at you like this and he will laugh himself to death!" Seamus
informed him the giggles that had been threatening to escape doing
just that.

"I hate you, every one of you! If you don't stop picking on me
right now, I will get myself resorted into Slytherin with Malfoy as
my mate and calling Snape daddy, got it?" Harry threatened
seriously.

"Whoa, back up jolly green dwarf, you don't have to go that far,"
Dean teased and Harry let out a shrill yell and leaped at him.

"Hey Harry when you get angry can I call you Steamed Broccoli?"
Neville asked his laughter drowning out some of his words but not
quite enough.

"I will murder you Mr. Potato Head," Harry cried before stopping
his attack on Dead to pounce on Neville.

"Oh no you don't," Seamus caught him mid-leap using his newly
acquired speed and strength.

Harry was unceremoniously flung over Seamus' shoulder like a sack
of potatoes. Screaming the whole way out of the dorms, through the
common room, in the corridors, and finally they reached the doors of
the great hall. Coming through the door Harry was expecting the usual
shocked silence and then rapid whispering that usually followed one
of his deadlier, or stupider, adventures. What met his eyes was not
what he had been expecting at all.

One of the things the Ministry conveniently forgot, and Dumbledore
didn't seem to prepare for was that with all the creatures in the
room fights over territory and mates were becoming quite spectacular
by this point. Everywhere Harry looked there was boys and girls, with
varying physical changes, either fighting or having a heated snogging
session. The teachers had long given up trying to restrain the
students.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief when he realized with everyone so
distracted, it would be unlikely anyone would notice the fact he was
green until much later on, preferably never. He immediately ceased
his high pitched screaming so he didn't attract anyone with
advanced hearing to his presence.

The group headed up to the professors table to register Harry under
much protest from the wizard turned Leprechaun. Dumbledore took one
look at the tiny green boy who lived and instead of laughing a look
of anger crossed his face. "This was not supposed to happen!"

"Tell me about it Dumbledore, how am I supposed to fight Voldemort
like this!" Harry whined amongst much laughter as Snape caught
sight of the Golden boy's predicament.

"You called?" A syllabant voice called from the doors to the
Great Hall.

"All hail almighty Snake face, you want me come and get me!"
Harry hollered in a very Gryffindorish display of stupidity.

Voldemort turned to look at the source of the annoying voice to find
a green skinned, foot-and-a-half tall Boy-Who-Lived and laughed. And
laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. Finally his potions
formed body, and over-seventy year old heart couldn't take it
anymore and it burst in his chest, the echoes of his laughter still
ringing through the now silent hall.

"Well that answered some questions," Harry mentioned turning to
Dumbledore. "I guess the power the Dark Lord knew not was laughter,
his body couldn't handle such a ludicrous idea of me turning into a
Leprechaun."