The "caveman" speak is interesting, but I don't know if it really makes it a good poem...I can't really decide if I like this or not. Although I understand the effect you were going for, it's way too choppy and doesn't read well.

hank, this is hilarious. sometimes the genius of a poem takes a while to strike you, but i think i finally reached the same wavelength as you. props for the idea--definitely fitting for the contest. love that first comment on this one, too. — root