Into the Gray

Independence Day à la Transformation

I was inspired by another blogger to write this post. Her post is titled “Happiness”. Thank you Charity. Since Americans just celebrated Independence Day, I’d like to share my personal Independence Day; the day I found freedom. The day I came out of that cocoon, spread my wings and truly felt alive. The day I felt an interconnection that transformed me.

I wept for weeks afterwards. Not because I was sad, but because I was in awe. My Independence day was the day I divorced myself from a life-long relationship with Christianity. That was several years ago and I’ve never had regrets. The deconversion process was intense, lonely and emotionally painful. But the years I dedicated to study paid off.

I was born again!

I am no longer a servant. I am free to investigate. Free to think critically. Free to question everything. Free from devils and ghosts. Free from having to please a jealous “Father”. Free to live my own life and follow my dreams. I no longer die to myself. I am in touch with my humanity. My inner life is extraordinary. I am at peace. I am me. I am free.

I Am.

I smile when I read other people’s experiences of transformation, and the similarities with my own:

“I felt a bit like a child, as though I was rediscovering the world. In particular, I remember a month long period in which I became flat-out fascinated with trees– there was something beautiful about the way they branched out, cutting a tangled silhouette against the sky. I also became enthralled with sunsets, and to this day I still love watching sunsets.

Everything seemed fresh and new. It was as if in my enthusiasm for the supernatural, I had overlooked all the beauty the natural world has to offer. Now I was playing catch-up, discovering all the neat stuff I’d missed. I also read dozens of science books during this time– I decided it was time to find out how the universe really works, as I didn’t want to ever be fooled again.” ~Rob Berry

After thousands of years, belief in God has yet to unite humanity. It has caused division. Believers aren’t even united within their own faiths. In Christianity, alone, there are approximately 41,000 denominations—all divided on interpretation of ‘holy’ writ—most affecting the human rights of others.

“All we have to do is not lie. Don’t say you know its name. Don’t say it told you to tell people what to do with their lives. Don’t say that those who believe otherwise must be punished. Don’t say it sends earthquakes and tsunamis. Don’t say it ever hurts anyone for any reason because that’s sick.

Deconversion stories are the best. Conversion stories are so often filled with shame and fear either outright or between the lines. When we begin to see the world without added supernatural elements, our wonder cannot be bound.

I can totally relate to the “new view of nature” thing. We just got back from several days in the Rockies, and it amazes me the details I see now that my focus isn’t all the stuff that “can’t be seen.” I am astounded by the wonders of the world in a way I never thought I’d be. “Blind but now I see,” indeed!

I was brought up (trained as) Catholic. Need I say more? LOL After years of religious dogma hypocrisy and disillusion, I’ve learned that we are all connected by nature through the tiniest, unseen (blips?) of energy. Negative-positive – what goes out-comes back. Another great blog, BTW!