Top 10: Live-Action Movie Disasters

Number 3

Popeye

Robert Altman was coming off a string of failures, including 1977’s Quintet, when he agreed to direct Popeye, and the film’s status as a seemingly foolproof comeback vehicle for the legendary filmmaker was quashed after it was released in the winter of 1980. The movie, based on the long-running comic strip and series of shorts, essentially placed the legendary spinach-eating sailor within the context of a contemporary musical, which ultimately proved to be its downfall. Despite an effective performance from Robin Williams and a smattering of positive reviews, Popeye peaked with a $50 million box-office haul, which was double its budget, admittedly, but far from the gargantuan success Robert Altman had been hoping for. The film has become something of a cult classic in the years since its release, however, and acclaimed director Paul Thomas Anderson even used one of its songs, “He Needs Me,” in his 2002 masterpiece Punch-Drunk Love.

Number 2

Inspector Gadget

Inspector Gadget arrived in theaters at the tail end of Disney’s live-action remake craze, following such efforts as 1996’s 101 Dalmations, 1997’s George of the Jungle and 1997’s Mr. Magoo. Perhaps buoyed by the positive memories of those who grew up watching the seminal ‘80s cartoon, the movie managed to take in almost $100 million at the North American box office. However, the majority of the series’ fans ultimately walked away disappointed by the film’s reliance on cheap jokes and failure to stay true to its inspiration (with the reveal of Dr. Claw’s face the most obvious example of the latter), making it a real live-action movie disaster. This is despite Matthew Broderick’s fine work as the title character, as well as better-than-expected supporting turns from performers like Joely Fisher, Michelle Trachtenberg and Rupert Everett. The film’s mild success paved the way for a 2003 direct-to-video sequel in which former 3rd Rock from the Sun actor French Stewart stepped into Gadget’s mechanized shoes.

Number 1

Batman & Robin

The film that killed the Batman franchise until Christopher Nolan rescued it with 2005’s Batman Begins, Batman & Robin justifiably remains one of the biggest critical and financial live-action movie disasters in cinematic history, with Joel Schumacher’s almost nauseatingly garish directorial choices ranking at the top of the film’s most egregious transgressions. Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman (who would later go on to win an Oscar for A Beautiful Mind) eschews the understated simplicity of the film’s predecessors in favor of a far more frenetic, downright convoluted vibe, while actors such as George Clooney, Uma Thurman and Arnold Schwarzenegger deliver over-the-top performances that are beyond campy. Ask anybody to name the worst comic-book adaptation and chances are they’ll say Batman & Robin (nipples on the Batsuit… ‘nuff said).

if it ain't broke

The preponderance of live-action updates in the mid-to-late ‘90s has thankfully led to a brief respite for audiences, with the studios seemingly too busy remaking old horror movies to worry about aging cartoons and comic strips. There will reach a point in the next few years, however, at which movie executives will want to capture the interest of aging tweens with a whole new flood of unwarranted adaptations, although it hardly seems likely that viewers will ever be subjected to films quite as bad as some of the aforementioned live-action movie disasters.