Monday, December 19, 2011

All I want for Christmas...

...is tons and tons of name brand shit. None of this "Tis better to give than receive" malarkey for me. I want stuff. Awesome, awesome stuff. If you plan to buy me stuff in the near future, here's a handy list to guide you through you all the sweet stuff that's sure to please me, or any other female who fits into my narrow demographic:

This is my numero uno. Watch by Michael Kors, style 4227. It's sold out everywhere online, so that just makes me want it all the more. I just love it. I <3 gold. Staying on the gold theme I want small gold "hoop" earrings. I put hoops in quotes because if it barely covers the lobe I'd hardly consider it a hoop. Either gold is making a comeback or I'm stuck in 1986. I love yellow gold.

My current set of make-up brushes aren't so much a set as a single brush, that is embarrassingly old and overused. I'm pushing 30, it's time to get a real, matching nice set of make-up brushes.

I love this movie, it's one of my all time faves. It's been on my Christmas list since I first saw it a few years ago and I've never seemed to acquire it. I watch it every year on TV and refuse to get into the Christmas spirit until I've seen it. What if the networks decide not to show it one year?! Christmas would be ruined. Ergo, I need this DVD (I ain't fancy enough for Blu-Ray) in my collection.

I am a lotion lover and heavy user, so I really should invest in something a little better than Vaseline Intensive Care. In Asia we got a full size (full size!) bottle of Crabtree & Evelyn lotion at the Millennium Hilton and you better believe that sucker came home with me once we checked out.

This is a random/generic picture of a small, cross body purse that's perfect for traveling. I would prefer a fancy schmancy label on it, and I'm still unsure of what color I want. Black? Brown? Whatever is the most versatile. I need a pickpocket-proof purse, though, for carrying my hand sanitizer and emergency toilet paper supply on my world travels.

Crock pot! Now here is a tale of love and loss if ever there was one. I had a crock pot once, very recently, but she (yes, she) had to be returned due to an upcoming move where I have to pack light (more on the move coming soon). Once settled into my new locale I hope to acquire another crock pot, hopefully at a fraction of the cost of my old girl - goddamn crock pots are expensive in Norway!

This is very close to the top of my wish list, neck-in-neck with the watch. It's a purse that holds wine! It's sheer brilliance, just imagine the places you could smuggle wine into undetected! Picnics! Concerts! Work! There's even a compartment to put an ice pack, in case you're smuggling white wine. I will own this modern marvel sooner or later, even if I have to pay for it in pennies I begged from a hobo.

Did you know you can subscribe to American magazines even if you live abroad? It costs more than a domestic subscription but isn't overly expensive. This is my favorite magazine in the post-Seventeen, pre-Good Housekeeping demographic. It's intelligent, not The Slut's Handbook (I'm looking at you, Cosmopolitan) and has lots of pretty I-could-never-afford-that fashion for me to look at. No longer will I have to pay €5 a pop for one measly issue at an airport kiosk

Tory Burch flats. Not much I can say beyond classique. They come in a variety of colors and patterns, I'm not particularly picky about which I get. I'm a size 10 US, 41 European, 8 UK. So worldly my feet are!

I don't necessarily want note cards with a Vespa scooter on them, but this is the best picture I could find. I don't know who else besides Vera Wang has a stationary collection, but I want some pretty, blank note cards. They don't even need to be designer, just pretty. Artsy-fartsy, even. When I have note cards I actually send people mail, just because. And that makes me look like an awesome friend. You get mail and I get good karma. It's win-win!

From the picture alone you might be asking yourself: What is this mideval torture device? Well, it's a bra washing ball. For the males out there, this means you put your bra in it, then wash it, so the bra retains it's shape. This want fits squarely in the why-don't-you-just-buy-it-yourself-you-freakshow camp and I agree. My answer to that is because I've never seen one in a store, ever! If I came across one, believe me, I'd snatch it up immediately. I'm not about to pay 100% duty on it by ordering it online, so on my Wish List it goes. Perhaps if I get it I'll wash my bras at the recommended frequency, after every second wear. Ha! Not bloody likely.

This is my favorite (lady) scent ever. I actually looked up the difference between eau de toilette and eau de parfum when researching which one I want. I forget which was "better", but Madomeoiselle comes in both and the parfum bottle is prettier. So parfum it is. Again, a total classic. It's all the flash and luxury of Chanel without smelling like an old lady (ahem, No. 5).

Estimated value of my entire Wish List? I don't know and don't want to know! I don't want to look the reality of my consumerist bourgeois tendencies in the face. Or realize what a tactless label whore I really am.

About Me

No longer in Norway, and with a work ethic that has (de)evolved into one that is downright European, "An American Work Ethic in Norway" has a new name, is in a new country and has a renewed sense of awesome-ivity. I'm back, kicking ass, and being the fabulous Benji that I am.