Tuesday, January 27, 2009

About a week ago, I was digging through some folders, looking for a photo, when I found other photos from an assignment I keep forgetting I shot. I'm not sure why, but it keeps slipping my mind that I shot a high school football playoff game in Jefferson City last November for the St. Louis Post Dispatch. Real newspaper. Got paid, got a clip...plus it was sports coverage - my favorite. And, considering it was only the third time I'd photographed football ever, I was pleased with what I got. No real award winners were made that night, but here are a few of my personal favorites:

(If you're in the critiquing mood, #4 vs #5 and why? And image #2 is mostly just a photo of the weather conditions in which I was working.)

So, now for the second part of the title.

I'm in a class this semester that's really making me think (I know, the nerve) about my photography. Buzz words like "passion" and "personal" and "meaningful" are flying. We're on day three of this class and I'm already panicking. Probably because I'm thinking. And not shooting. I tend to do (or not do) these things.

I came to Mizzou to expand on my photo skills, which were firmly and fairly exclusively rooted in sports photography. I've made it a point while here to not shoot sports, to look for stories that in no way are connected to athletics or athletes or physical fitness or...well, you get the idea. And, aside from a wrestling picture (a bad one, at that) in February, some Show-Me-State Games coverage in the late summer (kickball, dodgeball, and geriatric darts - I hardly feel these count), and a few football slips in the fall, I've stayed pretty clean. Expanding the horizons. Getting out of the comfort zone. Learning new tricks. Yadda, yadda, yadda, personal growth and edification and such.

But then I looked through this Jeff City shoot. I thought about the experience. The game was frigid. Blustery. Excruciatingly cold. I could barely hold the metal cameras, lenses and monopod, even with the sexy grip gloves I had and, despite four clothing layers, two coats, a hat and a waterproof outer shell, I started shivering in the second half. At random points throughout the game, it rained, of course, and the wind was nearly constant. My 500mm lens kept spotting up from the rain, even though I had the hood on, had it wrapped in a trashbag, and kept it pointed down. The water was blowing up into the lens and also hampering the functionality of my glasses. Of course it was.

In addition to my personal trials on the sidelines, the team I was covering was having issues. They were kind enough to score a touchdown early in the game, right in front of me, so I could send that picture, but then the wheels fell off. I could only take so many pictures of their defense running away from me, after the opposing guy with the ball in the end zone, but I made my deadlines by camping out in the faces of fans and cheerleaders who were watching their team lose their playoff run and then forcing myself out on the field after the whole mess to document burly teenage boys openly sobbing and desperately trying to hide from me.

And I loved every damn second of it.

I did what I do best, which was photograph sports action and couldn't have been happier. The weather never bothered me, despite how terrible it was. I was prepared for it, knew it would suck, made the most of it. I made deadline, sent complete captions, gave coverage to both on and off the field, sent options. Sent good pictures. Rocked the assignment. Was encouraged to apply for an internship. Didn't destroy any equipment, didn't lose any fingers, wasn't hit by a football or a player.

Even though I hadn't been on a sideline in almost six months, I was home again, and never missed a beat. Fell right back in stride. In terms of how I felt during an assignment, that game was the high point of my time in Missouri.

My point here - and I do have one - is that maybe I've been trying so hard (too hard?) here to create a new passion when I already identified it. I seem to always want to take the toughest road I can find. If I'm too comfortable doing something, then it's just too easy and I'm not learning enough and I really must challenge myself more and move outside my comfort zone to grow as a journalist and a human and all of these other poetic things, yet all of this growth involves such an overwhelming gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands and, as you can see, late night blog posts about existential crises and ultimate purposes of grad school and life in general.

So, really now, what am I doing here?

---[This question will be revisited, rehashed and, perhaps, if we're all lucky, may even be answered before too long. Hopefully before I graduate in December.]

Saturday, January 10, 2009

As you can see, today has been a photo-filled day and I finally made some time to go through my take from the LBC gospel concert that I shot at the end of last semester. I posted two photos right after the concert and those two images were probably my favorite of the evening, but below is a slideshow of the runners-up.

I'm still frustrated with this project. I still don't feel I have really shown the story. I keep missing the little telling moments that piece together an accurate portrait of this choir and this genre of both music and worship. Feedback is much appreciated. Also, I apologize for the graininess, but I was not able to check out a camera that could handle the church's low light, so I did what I could with my 20D and RAW files. I hope you enjoy:

Friday, January 9, 2009

Josh and I took advantage of the amazing weather (it was 68 degrees when we went) and communed with nature at Rockbridge State Park, hiking to the Devil's Icebox and poking around a bit. We didn't realize that we needed flashlights to explore the caves, but we had some fun taking photos at the entrance. Please enjoy:

Nature is purdy, eh?

Josh Bickel, thinker.

Josh Bickel, statesman.

Josh Bickel, philanthropist.

Josh Bickel, intrepid newsman. (I have already secured the rights for this photo to be used on the cover of any Josh Bickel biographical paraphernalia. Let me know if you want to order the t-shirt.)

As one should do on one's winter break, I have been lazing about in a brilliant imitation of a pile of shoes or laundry and, as a result, have been woefully neglectful of my dear blog, though I have many images to post.

To ease back into the habit, I would like to share with you the image I shot for my "holiday card" (because I failed to get my act together in time to send out cards that would arrive before the most notable of winter holidays but could still be used to celebrate the dawning of the new year).

I shot it in my apartment (yes that is my (most beloved) K1000 modeling), then jazzed it up in Photoshop, had a stack printed up via one-hour photo and then taped the pictures to blank cards. I am quite happy with the final product - it's exactly what I was hoping to produce and share with my friends.

Behind the camera

Bostonian by heart and Iowan by blood, but giving the south a try in Dallas, Texas. Graduate of Boston University's photojournalism program (COM '06) and a recently minted Master through the University of Missouri's photojournalism program.

All images, projects, video and text on this blog were created by Phoebe Sexton unless otherwise noted. All work is copyrighted and may not be used without written permission. Stealing is bad karma, y'all.

Contact Phoebe at phoebe[dot]sexton[at]gmail[dot]com for more information.