When your perceptions become the subconscious mechanism of your every reaction…

In which you presuppose what a situation or thing, a reaction, will be before you are in the moment of happening.

You are then bringing the future to the present, not the true future, only your perspective of what it will be… before it can be anything. This moment when observed in its raw, open, transparent state, using all of your senses… is malleable.

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Two distinct perspectives. Which holds truth? Or is it merely a compromise between us both? Who argues the loudest, reacts violently…in words, action, or deed? Is that the one who holds the truth?

In the simple action of allowing one beat of a breath before accepting or rejecting this moment as it is, without your assignation of your past biases…filtering what it could be, with what you assume it to be….masking the true moment.

╰⊰✿ I had a process. A writing process. The words I would take in from everything around me…books, songs, the interwebs, a conversation…they would join and rejoin and then form into something I crafted, shaped, molded into a poem….my version of a poem. I never really did think of my poems as traditional. More prose-like. More unique, or so I tried. Yet…they always felt lacking to me in some way. Although, you guys…you beautiful souls would comment and say the most unfathomably wondrous things to me. I would breathe a sigh of relief as though I had been holding my breath until reading your feedback. It was absolutely glorious. Addictive.

During my hiatus I’ve been reading, as mentioned in the last post, but I’ve also been watching, learning…becoming thirstier for even more knowledge…other writers. Writers I admire. Some are famous in the traditional ‘household name’ sort of way, and some maybe you’ve never heard of. Maybe you have. I’ll gladly share if you ask, but this is about me learning what they do. How they do it. How they consistently write their books. How they stay so very focused. How they manage to juggle the online distractions of Facebook Pages, Twitter, Google+, Instagram. How they manage to create their art and yet stay in touch, grow their connections, day in and day out. I’ve learned so much, just enough to make me dare to think I might be able to emulate them, in their commitment…their diligence to their passion to create and stay connected.

I’ve experimented. I’ve been making amazing friends via my Facebook Page which is over there to your right (bottom if you’re on your phone) and also on Twitter. Instagram is a new excursion for me and one I’m not fully versed in yet, but I am trying. I’m putting it all out there. My kids, my crazy chaotic life. Mostly though, I’m trying to understand how to connect and create. I’ve not written anything longer than a Facebook Post or Tweet in the months I’ve been away, well…maybe an email counts as writing. If so, then I suppose I have written.

I have also, now that I’m thinking about it, written a few ‘stream of conscious’ book reviews on Goodreads. I call them such because they were just like this post. Me just typing my thoughts as they come to mind…that’s it. I don’t know if they’re any good, that wasn’t my intention when writing them. They were just my thoughts and feelings on them when I finished reading. I’ve not reread them, knowing me…I’d attempt to rewrite them. I’m learning it’s okay to just write and then let it go. Exactly my hopes for this post.

A few of the aforementioned books have touched me so very deeply I cannot, even in this overly long post, express their impact on my entire way of thinking…of myself, of my life, of my overwhelming desire to write, of my connections with each of you. I feel as though the years of conditioning that life has put me through has fallen away, so to speak, and left me free to recreate…reconstruct myself, yet again. An absolute metamorphosis.

I would very much like to continue to be so free thinking with what I share with you. I would like to share what I’m learning, what I desire to learn, what I’m reading, what I long to read, what I’m thinking, and so very much more. I imagine it will be different for you as well as for me and may take some getting used to. However, through this I very much hope and wish you gain a better insight into my world….and I in yours….

Like this:

This is not a typical style of post for me, but hey…we all have to mix things up every now and then right?! I would never wish to become predictable. I am writing this to share some exciting news! First, will be a gradual changing of my last name. I have given this much thought… the tipping point for me was that after much needed and cherished encouragement, I am indeed beginning to compile my poems for a book.

That alone is a rather frightening endeavor for me….frightening and exquisitely exhilarating at the same time! You each have been so very amazing and supportive… I wish to thank you all ever so much for continuing to read, like, comment, follow….this journey. So…while the title for said book is up for debate in my mind…my name is not.

I have considered how you all know me first and foremost as “Christina ~” and secondly…”Christina Brownlee”. For reasons too numerous to explain, I have decided to take back my maiden name for this literary journey I’m embarking on.

Going forward I will be…on this blog then expanding to all the various social media sites, and most especially for any future book(s)…known as…Christina M. Gregory 〜

It is my most fervent desire, even if my book only sees two sales…it will be with the name my mother gave me, one that includes my brother…his wife and family, and my father…the family who was there in all ways during my darkest hours…it is their name I wish to represent. Besides, I lived with that name for over half my life and I am rather fond of it!

Now that I’ve shared my exciting news re: a poetry anthology with you, I will also share that I am full of ideas simmering for other projects…some I won’t mention (yet) because I do love to be enigmatic.

I have another reason for sharing with you all and that my friends is *Accountability*. I know the moment I post this…I am now accountable to see this through. I will not be able to ‘conveniently’ forget, get overwhelmed, too nervous, etc.〜 Though, I do beg for your patience as being a single mom raising 3 kids while running a household does put tremendous demands on my ability to have much free time.

I will share a small hint because I adore you all…I chose this particular title for a reason…the hint? I will use this title for further updates, musings (maybe), and…well….perhaps a few surprises along the way…

Again, I wish to thank each of you for your cherished support and encouragement over these past two years. You are priceless!

I am so excited to share that I will now be a contributing author over at The Poet’s Corner! You each have been so amazing and supportive as I have grown through my words…my connections with you all. Even if you’ve only visited once…clicked that magical “like” button…you, too, have added to my world..making it rich, vibrant, and beyond rewarding!

So…check out the above link and you will find a wealth of talented writers whom I am privileged to be amongst. I’ll look forward to catching up with all of you while I explore this new world of posting on two sites…as per the title I truly do feel this is double the honor and twice the fun!!