Credit Score Dating Anyone?

Anyone who has hit the dating circuit over the last few years knows that it is a bit of a jungle out there. Gone are the days when the only things that mattered are your sweet car and ripped biceps. The days when women found your bad boy attitude a turn-on are a memory. The truth of the matter is, now high credit scores are sexy.

I’ll be honest, I have considered turning girls down in the past because they had credit card debt or a bad credit score. I just thought that was because I am a finance nerd. Turns out, I am not alone. Tons of people think about your credit and how you handle money when deciding if you have what it takes to be a baby daddy/baby momma.

Credit Score Dating.com

So there’s this new site called CreditScoreDating.com. They purport to be a dating website “where good credit is sexy.” I think that is kind of cool. There are dating websites for every niche minority these days.

When I was in the dating pool, I gave JDate a go so I could find someone with the right background. But maybe to my Bubbe’s sorrow, I shouldn’t have been looking for a nice Jewish girl. Maybe what I needed was a nice, financially responsible girl?

It turns out this credit score and dating thing is not just a fad. It is showing up all over. Even if you are a perfect 10 in the club, you may need to be a perfect 850 for your relationships to stand a chance.

Keep Your Money Under Control

I have an awesome girlfriend. I don’t mean to brag, but I will. She is beautiful, exciting, fun, and has her money under control.

I know that while I was on the market, I took finances to heart. I would look at a girl’s career and education just like an employer. I might not have come out and asked for her credit score on a first date, but finances always crossed my mind.

I work hard at keeping my financial situation on the up-and-up, and I expect any future Mrs. Eric to do the same. While the Mrs. Cleaver fantasy might be fun, I know that I want a girl who wants to make a difference in her life and the world. That starts with taking care of her money.

Do You Take Money into Account When Dating?

While chlamydia can be treated with amoxicillin, it takes a lot more than a pill to treat bad credit. When you were/are dating, have you ever asked your potential partner to share their most intimate number? Have you asked about credit, debt, or money? Has anyone ever asked you?

Share your tales of love and money in the comments!

————-Eric Rosenberg is a personal finance blogger a PersonalProfitability.com, a site with tips to save you time, money, and headache. Check it out today!

[Cupid photo by martinak15]

Credit Score Dating Anyone? was last modified: April 8th, 2017 by J. Money

Jay loves talking about money, collecting coins, blasting hip-hop, and hanging out with his three beautiful boys. You can check out all of his online projects at jmoney.biz. Thanks for reading the blog!

I’ve heard about this before. I’m not entirely sure if it’s just a gimmick that got promoted due to current sorry economic times or something real.

Having spent a lot of time in school, grad school, and post-doc training, large student loans are pretty much a given. Many of my peers are drowning in student loan debt but that doesn’t stop them from doing quite well in the dating department. Even consumer debt doesn’t seem to be stopping people.

If having good credit, solid financial grounding, and the ability and desire to save for retirement was actually a turn on, I’d be beating hotties off of me. This would not be a bad situation. I’ll be sure to let you know if it ever happens.

We talked about credit scores after we said we loved each other and were on our first trip together. We both had good credit but were also honest about each having significant grad school debt. Once we were engaged, we fully disclosed all finances and started making a plan for marriage. Our first year of marriage, we had finished cash flowing our wedding (adding to my parents’ contribution) and paid off over $30,000 in school loans. We are kicking the last $42,000 in the butt by this fall! Honesty in dating and engagement has led to our monthly financial talks being fun and something we look forward to instead of dreading like many couples.

That is a great story Jennifer. I love hearing about couples teaming up to take down their debt and meet financial goals together.

I just talked with my girlfriend this weekend about when we should sit down and do a big money goals and planning talk. We are moving in together in a couple of months, and decided that once we do we are going to do a big dig. We already talked about debt and told each other about what we owe. It is great to have been open and shared that much so far.

I really like this idea, it is just a shame that it only started once I was already married…
I can tell you that when I was younger the girls that I used to hang out with didn’t care how good your credit rating was, they wanted muscles and a nice smile. Interesting how priorities change as you get older.

When Mr. PoP and I started dating, I let him pay the first couple of times because he insisted. But then when we started switching off, he was so funny. He said, “You know, it’s so nice to be dating someone gainfully employed.”
He had to carry the weight money wise in all previous relationships, which I could definitely see getting old pretty quickly.

I am on the same page. I always pay for the first few days with someone new, but if I am in a long-term relationship I appreciate sharing costs evenly. I am happy to be dating a wonderful girl who contributes to the costs of our relationship.

When my husband and I began dating, it was a huge kick in the shins to him that I “think” about money. His philosophy has always been, just have fun now because you never know what will happen to you. While I agree, I also worry about the latter and what happens IF….

When we started dating, he had never had a savings account before. He lived small paycheck to paycheck…. His parents also never had a savings account – as they were first generation immigrants, they believed in keeping cash in their home and would always come up short. So he joined the military since after one year of school, they said they could no longer pay for it and he didnt want to take out loans. When he was deployed to Iraq, I helped him set up an automatic savings account AND set up automatic payments on his car so he wouldnt have to worry about it. Coming home, he had A LOT of money saved and then realized, wow, savings really do add up. Now we have a great house, a beautiful daughter and jobs that we “sort of” enjoy… During this whole process, I helped get his credit score up from the low 600s to the mid 700s…

One of my best friends is married to a man who has problems getting and keeping jobs. We all knew it before they were married but I am not sure she could see it then. She sees it now.

He was always losing jobs because the company was full of jerks they didn’t realize how great he was. Now, with the economy in a slowdown for several years, there are just no jobs out there for him. His words. Not mine.

That is a tough situation in a relationship. Some people don’t mind supporting a spouse, particularly if they take care of the kids and the home, but I know that I care about having a partner who cares about being successful on their own.

I think our national obsession with credit score is completely misguided, and actively destructive. It doesn’t show that you have financial resources, any savings or are frugal. All it shows is that you have debt and that you pay it back on time. I have never checked my own score, except when I refinanced (and even then I didn’t personally check it, but was informed what it was by the lender – it was over 800).

As someone who has healthy savings, and manages my money very well, I do not plan to ever check my own score again. I certainly wouldn’t ask to check it for a potential partner. You can be a complete spendthrift and have a good credit score.

Personally. if I see someone who has good spending habits, spends thoughtfully and knows the word “budget,” has a job that they like and do well at, and understands not to spend $ on stupid stuff that would be enough for me. I do not give a flying hang about their credit score.

I would care FAR more if someone ever had a car loan. I’d take someone who paid cash for their cars over someone who took out a loan for a car any day. Taking loan for cars may be good for your credit score, but I think it’s insanely stupid.

You make a good point there Diane. Credit scores do not show anything about saving and investing for the future. It is just one part of the financial picture.

A quick side note, though, a good credit score does not necessarily mean that someone has debt and pays it back on time. If someone has a couple of credit cards for a long time and never carries a balance, they will have a great credit score with no debt. I think it is a good idea to have those accounts around for emergencies, and to build your credit in case you do need a mortgage or refinance.

Yeah, credit score can be very misleading. I had thought I was a responsible money manager that people would love to loan money to, but boy was I wrong, I was only responsible IN PERSON, not on paper. I graduated college with no debt – full scholarships plus I RA’ed for my room/board, plus I had 3 jobs, I know I was ridiculously overachiever! – and used a debit card rather than credit card the whole way, because in my mind clearly that was the most responsible approach (you know, only spending money you had at the moment, rather than borrowing on the future). Then I spent a year abroad working (again, debit card), and then came back home and wanted to buy a cheap used car.

Despite how financially sound my approach was, my credit score showed me as a totally different person. Without student loans, credit cards, store cards, or car payments, they didn’t know me. My credit score was so bad that the lowest rate the car company could give me, and I got considered by agency after agency, was something like 23% interest!!

I was baffled, and did research and quickly opened a number of lines of credit, made a few purchases that I paid off right away, and then just held them. I now have a score just over 800, and I pay to monitor my credit on a monthly basis (after an identity theft scare). But the base “me” hasn’t changed – I was making responsible decisions then too, even more responsible since I was entirely self-sufficient – but their view into my wallet has changed. So lesson learned: credit score can be bupkus, but it’s also easily fixed if your base outset is responsible.

I looked into this site before and of course it’s a gimmick like they all are (Christian Singles, Single Parents, No strings Attached), everyone’s gotta have a gimmick. I’ve run a dating site in the past and know how easy they are to start so I didn’t feel like throwing my SSN out to something so volatile.

I do like the idea however. People have called me picky, but I feel like I’m dating responsibly when I throw finances into the mix. I was always just looking for someone who was where I was at (college grad, good job, no debt or paying it off, had resources to travel), who was smokin hot (and in good health), had similar interests (outdoor activities, travel, nerdy things, cosplay), and wanted the same things for the future (family, kids). That might be a lot to some, but to me, it feels pretty basic. Just meet me where I am and we can grow into a life we both will love.

I’ve dated girls who have thousands of dollars in college loans, but never graduated, have no money from their “Art” degrees, or never went to college at all and you can just tell, THIS is how it will be the rest of our lives. I’LL pay for everything and we’ll only get as far as one man’s vision. If SHE has vision too and the ambition to pull it through, now there’s someone I can respect and love. It’s not so much about the money as much as it is showing the world she’s got her shit together and isn’t just a “dreamer.” She’s a doer and practical about it and that’s effin sexy!

Anecdote…
When I bought my house I closed all my credit cards but one – and that one happened to report my active balance as my limit, making it look as if I used 100% of my available debt every month. I had no car loans and no other debt at all except this one card that I paid in full every month, carrying no interest. I foolishly thought this would make me look like a responsible person (look, no credit cards, and no debt!). I had a ton of $ in savings and was ready to make a 30% downpayment on my house. However, this made me look like a TERRIBLE lending risk. Because of the way that credit card reported it looked as if I used 100% of my available credit.

I don’t know what my score was at the time, but I do know the mortgage broker blanched and said – “don’t close that last card.” My score was probably crap, based on the fact I shut down all my credit cards. But you know what – I still had a great emergency fund, and adequate savings to buy a house. I still knew how to manage money.

YUP!!!! Your debt-to-ratio was all messed up when you went down to 1 line, it’s crazy, eh? because of that I just gamed the system a bit and pumped up my only two credit cards from $5k limits to around $30k limits each ;) That helped a lot and took me 5 mins on the phone! Haha… I don’t need credit at the current time, but it WILL help when I go to refinance again later, you can bet on that. And since I’m good at managing my money I don’t have to worry about “slipping” and using all that credit up… So for all those reading this and wondering if they should do the same, just make sure you trust yourself enough!

Reading this makes me so glad that I have a wife that is on the same page as me in terms of money and finances as it makes life so much easier. We discussed them in depth while dating and having the same mind for what’s important to us financially. I can’t imagine going to a site like that though, but it looks like a great idea as more are wanting to be keenly aware of things like this before seriously dating someone.

If you saw my stats you’d see that I have my shit together. Great savings, diversified retirement portfolio, frugal to the max, only debt is a 0% interest car loan (on a used Corrolla, no less)–but my score ranges the upper 600’s, low 700’s. My husband has little savings (given, we just used it for a home downpayment), no retirement portfolio to speak of, a few late payments on credit, likes nice clothes and eating out (read: not so frugal), and his score is in the 800s.

Even with a good credit score I’d be reluctant to post it on a website and let people use that as a first line of judgement for me.

I’d prefer someone to get to know me for the fun loving person I am and then be pleasantly surprised when we get to that point in our relationship when they realize I have amazing credit. Because then they aren’t getting to know me for me!

When we were dating we talked a bit about finances- we were in college so watching our cash was important. Once we got engaged we shared the hard numbers – debts and stuff. It was so much an eye opener since we had a general idea, but it help us come up with a plan for when we got married.

As far as credit scores, we’re decent, but they don’t reflect our finances do I’m not sure that using that number with dating works.

Interesting idea. In my single days I dated several women who had adequate jobs but spent like they made twice their salaries with the surplusses either being funded by debt or by their parents. While they were mostly all nice enough, attractive enough, fun enough, etc… it was always a bit of a challenge for me when thinking about a future. I do well enough, but the thought of having to pick up someone’s debt or support their six figure lifestyle made me cringe a little.

I dont know if credit score necessarily is the issue at hand, but I think you often find that successful couples have similar viewpoints towards money.

I can see why this is blowing up. When I started dating my now wife, we didn’t worry about that kind of stuff. I am sure she would have liked to know that I was in massive credit card debt, but I didn’t involve her with those problems. I also paid off all of it on my own without asking her for help. Being in debt and having poor credit doesn’t always have to be a sign of bad character, but it does for some. Good article Eric.

I’m sure when dating someone, sooner or later I would find out if they had major debt. In fact I would probably flat out ask before even considering marriage. However, my wife had a small student loan (which she paid off before marriage) and I had a larger student loan, which I am in no hurry to pay off. So it work out for us.

I guess this is no worse that some of the other “dating” sites out there!

Why not rush to pay off the loans? Just curious. I paid off my student loans two years after graduating and it was a huge relief. Once they were paid, I was able to save more for bigger and more important things.

We got married younger, so the only credit history we had was student loans and the diamond I threw on her finger. :) Like some other commenters said, I’d be wary of making too many assumptions based on one’s credit score. My wife and I were on a path of financial ruin (okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but we had no clue what we were doing) before figuring things out TOGETHER and charting a new course.

One challenge of getting married young is that couples often don’t have a solid financial footing when they start out. It is great to read your success story and see that you were able to work together for long term success.

If I had to go out in the dating pool today I would want to know everything about the other person. I probably would scare off every guy I looked into HA! With Mr. FBS I already knew what his job paid (we worked together) and what debt he had (his car–how we met, I knew the sales people and knew what the sales person made off the car lol). I can safely say I knew a lot about him, his money and debt. I didn’t go as far as requesting a score, because at the time I would have thought that was rude, but also because the score didn’t matter to me either.

HAHA I read that story. I wouldn’t go as far as trying to find the perfect man, but if he could lay out his life in a resume and interview format, it would make it easier to find someone more compatible. :)

You said “chlamydia”, LoL. Yea, I think the idea is there, but it’s a bit shallow. Rejecting someone because of past mistakes is kinda lame. I think getting to know them, and heck, maybe even helping them see the err’ of their ways will build a stronger relationship that immediately dismissing those with a sub-700 credit score. Heck, there might even be peeps out there who are WAY BETTER with their money than we are, and don’t use credit because they don’t need it.

I’m not a big fan of filters when it comes to real people. I only like them for data.

The gist of my thoughts are that credit scores alone are not a good deciding factor, but looking at the big financial picture of a person is important. I got lucky finding a girlfriend that is debt free and financially responsible, not to mention a wonderful person.

I don’t ask for a credit score, but pay attention to financial red flags on the first date. Where is the date, who pays, questions about his life, where he lives, kind of car… If the guy is a primary school teacher and shows up in a $80K car, there is a problem!

I think my husband and I shared our credit scores with one another while we were engaged – mostly because he had never checked and it had been a couple years for me! But we knew about each other’s finances in more detail before that point.

I don’t really a credit score a very good indication of fiscal responsibility. My husband never had any credit history until he got a credit card post-college and has never been in debt at all. My score, though, had been boosted by my student loans. What sense does that make?

Certainly if someone has a terrible credit score that is a red flag, but a good score could either be a good or bad sign and having no score (or a low-ish score for not much history) could be a good sign. The number must be coupled with a non-lazy approach to financial disclosure for couples considering marriage.

hmmm…I really had to think about this one. As a working-my-way-to-a-much-better-score person (and currently single, by choice) I don’t know that a credit score, in and of itself, would swing my decision to date someone or not. As others have stated, I hope my ability to keep my eyes open and see some signs of responsibility, or the lack of, would weigh heavily. Saying that, I’ve been in the situation where I’ve supported someone who just couldn’t find work (it’s that allergic thing someone already mentioned), and I’ll be flipping damned if I’ll ever do that again!

I just don’t see myself as someone to judge another by that all-glorious number some have come to idolize. It’s not my style. I prefer to get to know someone the old-fashioned way, with some kind of new-age twists thrown in. I would hope, should I settle down with a partner again, I could see past the number and truly look into that person’s heart and soul. I still believe my own intuition and good ol’ gut feeling would be better guides than looking at a credit score.

Probably more about “finding someone with a better match to yourself” than explicitly ruling out those with horrible credit. I’d imagine 95% of those signed up to that site have GREAT credit cuz that’s why they’re there! Haha… it would be dumb to apply with crap credit unless they’re going for a “save me” type of person ;)

To me this is as similar as asking someone out on a date because you find them attractive. It’s not that the less attractive aren’t worthy of love, it’s just you’re concentrating on the one who makes you feel good for whatever reason. You could swap out attractiveness with “funny” or “smart” too – whatever trait you’re drawn to.

I am legitimately concerned that perhaps maybe one of your readers might make the mistake of signing up for creditscoredating.com. The site’s owner also runs JehovahWitnessDating.com, IntimateEncountersOnline, and ShugaMama.com. They all have the same non-unique design and content (including forged member profiles). Feel free to look for yourselves.

Well that’s pretty interesting…. you’re right, they DO look the same! But many successful companies duplicate templates and what not. Not saying they’re legit or anything – I have no idea – but if it works for people?

A good reminder to be cautious though when doing stuff online, thx for the info :)

This article was awesome!! Thank you. Being fairly new to the credit repair and credit score arena I am constantly trying to gather as much information as possible to try and keep myself headed in the right general direction. Spending some time on this post has actually given me a lot of great points to think about. In my recent research I have also been able to find some useful information related to this topic when I Googled the credit locker university. Thanks again!

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