Republicans Unveil Budget

March 20, 2012–Republicans today unveiled their budget plan, which laid out a vision of this country’s economic future in stark contrast to the budget proposed by President Obama. Representative Paul Ryan, chairman of the House Budget Committee and chief architect of the GOP plan, said, “This is about putting an end to empty promises from a bankrupt government.”

Ryan’s blueprint would balance the federal budget in two years by sharply reducing taxes and eliminating almost all entitlement programs and completely doing away with the social safety net. In addition to creating just two tax brackets, the plan would reduce the number of classes in America to two, the one percent and everyone else.

As Ryan explained, “Under this plan, if you lose your job and have your house foreclosed, the government isn’t going to bail you out any more.” Instead, any American who can no longer compete in the nation’s economy will become the property of a millionaire. “This budget will create tens of millions of new jobs at no cost to the government, millions of new unpaid factory workers, field hands and fast food servers. This country did pretty well when the Founding Fathers, in their infinite wisdom, owned slaves. Ending that system has proved to be a colossal mistake,” the Wisconsin Republican continued. “This budget lays out a blueprint for returning this country to the greatness the signers of the Declaration of Independence envisioned.”

Wall Street closed sharply higher on expectations of strong demand for domestically produced leg irons, whips and stockades, and in anticipation of a rebounding housing market, with tens of millions of new housing units for slaves being built if the Ryan budget is enacted.