Are We Friends or More? How To Stop Leading Him On

“We’re friends.” You think. “Yeah, we’re totally friends.” You try to convince yourself. “So, why is he trying to hold my hand? Why is he looking at me like that?!

Does any of this sound familiar? It does for me. There have been times where I feel so completely comfortable around a guy that I give him the wrong idea. One guy friend thought we were in a serious relationship. That’s when I realized that I need to have a check list when befriending men. It helps keep my guy friends close, but not too close.

Here are some precautions you can take so you can keep you male BFF and not give him the wrong idea.

Set boundaries.This includes no phone calls after a certain time (except in extreme emergencies). You also need to give him space so he hangs out and meets other girls. Also, make it clear to friends and family that he is only your friend. You can even set him up with girls and be his wingman to prove your friendship.

Make your friendship clear on a regular basis. If you leave your relationship status with him open ended, there will be questions. Constantly clarify that this is a friendship.

Don’t ever compare him to the man you’re dating. If you do, he may feel like another one of your suitors. You may even begin to see him as a potential man.

If he has a girlfriend, get to know her. I find these women to be some of my best friends. His girl usually has similar interests as you, and don’t be surprised if they are exactly like you. Why not befriend her?

Something you can do to get to know her better is to plan a day with her only. Don’t let him tag along. And remember: if you get on her bad side, it could lead to an ultimatum or possibly the end of your friendship with your guy BFF.

Erynn Castellanos is an aspiring radio broadcaster with an opinion on all things love. Currently going through the trials of most twenty somethings, she balances life and relationships and knows what she wants. Her articles on LoveSujeiry.com tie in her personal experiences while exploring the early stages of dating and the single life.