Monday Morning Secret Wars 11: Stumped

Sigh. I’m way behind. It’s ridiculously frustrating to open my iPad and count a ton of Secret Wars comics that I’ve read and haven’t reviewed, and then realize that another ton of Secret Wars comics that I’m still reading and haven’t come close to forming an opinion on. I’m stuck.

The purpose of reviewing all these books (and committing to reviewing all these books) was to force myself into the habit of regular writing. But it’s hard to do with an active non-writing life. It’s even tougher when I have to write about something that completely confounds and disgusts me.

That something is Doctor Strange, as portrayed in Secret Wars #4.

Recap: At the end of the Marvel Universe, Doom and Dr. Strange stood and confronted the Beyonders, who were ending every universe in the multiverse for kicks. Something happened, and either Doom or Strange could have had Godlike powers in the new universe. Strange chickened out, and Doom is now God. In the process, he’s created a harsh society where rulers of the different Battleworld zones scheme for power, taken Reed Richards’s family as his own, and comdemns people to death by casting out those he doesn’t like into a world filled with Ultrons and zombies.

So, when a capsule of surviving heroes pops up, including Doom’s longtime nemesis Reed Richards, what do you think Doc Strange does? Do you think he embraces this group as the last, best chance to usurp Doom and restore the Marvel Universe?

No. NO. NO NO NO NO NO.

No. Instead, he tells them all how great Doom is. He neglects telling Reed about his family being brainwashed into loving Doom, and that is mighty disgusting. If you’re my friend, and I know your lifelong nemesis has kidnapped your wife and kids and made them drink funny Kool-Aid so that they loved him and forgot you, would you think of me as a good guy? Of course you wouldn’t. You’d wonder what is wrong with me.

And it gets worse. When God Doom shows up (without the wife and kids he stole, because he’s not stupid!), Strange waves his magic hands and makes all the heroes disappear and hide. Why? Because Doom might have killed them. OF COURSE DOOM WOULD HAVE KILLED THEM, HE’S DOOM! And not crappy Fantastic Four Movie Doom (go listen to the latest episode of the GAR! podcast to hear me talk about that mess), but real Marvel Universe Doom. We all know Doom, even when he’s the Hero, is the Villain. We know that once he’s in charge, everyone else is dead. Why doesn’t Strange know this? What’s wrong with him?

Well, it doesn’t stay wrong for long, because Doom- being a BAD GUY- rips him in two. Cue ending.

I’ve been stumped for a month trying to write this. It’s a terrible, bad, no good comic. I vowed to review this series of comics, written by an author whose work I’ve always enjoyed up to now, and now I’m like huh-whuh-how-meh and it’s just no fun.

Meanwhile, the other books just PILE up. As of today, August 11th, I’ve got over 70 comics to say something interesting about. And that doesn’t count Secret Wars 5 and the other books coming out tomorrow.

So that’ll be the rest of the week. I survived the Fantastic Four Movie, I’ll survive this. Somehow…