Uh… you do realize that being gay (or bisexual, since Spartan soldiers were usually married to a woman in order to produce children) was considered a GOOD THING for Spartan warriors? They figured a soldier would be less prone to cowardice if he knew his lover was fighting as well.

The only part where Sparta was different from other Greek city-states was that they didn’t use homosexuality to determine unit formation. Other armies would usually have lovers fight next to each other because they figured they’d fight harder to protect and impress each other, but Spartans used more practical (and probably less distracting) ways to decide who goes where.

Erm.. In Spartan culture homosexuality was extremely encouraged. In fact, when men got married to their wives, the wedding ceremony started off with his bride arriving dressed as a man. Throughout the ceremony she would cast these off to reveal woman’s clothing to represent his change from having sex with men to gaining sex with a wife.
THE MORE YOU KNOOOOOW

May I suggest Plutarch’s On Sparta as a source? Point in fact, Spartans did not encourage homosexuality (between adult Spartiates) and abhorred the idea of ordering ranks by pairing lovers. Lycurgus, the man responsible for the reforms that made Sparta the infamous military powerhouse that it was, believed that ranks should be determined by skill and talent, not relationships. Therefore, of organizing soldiers by paired lovers, Lycurgus was said to have “stamped this thing as foul.’
Furthermore, as far as the ancient Greeks (and specifically Spartans) were concerned, there were two types of homosexual relationships. That of pederasty (between a boy and older man) and that of two adult men. Pederasty, amongst historians and the ancient greeks themselves, appears to have been a controversial issue. When and where it did occur, is usually contained a sexual aspect. However, this was usually intercural, as actual penetration was considered shameful to the boy (usually age 12-20, rarely up to 30). Anal or oral penetration was an act deemed fit for slaves or prostitutes, not aristicratic youths.
In Sparta, the sources argue about the nature of pederasty. In some, it would appear that young Spartan boys and girls were used for intercural sex, in order to instill within them from an early age that their bodies were not their own, but the state’s. However, Plutarch, Xenophon, and Aelian all agree that it was considered “an abomination” equivalent to incest for an adult Spartan sponser to give into carnal temptation and have intercourse of any kind with the boys he was training. Aelian goes further to say that if any male Spartan couple was found to have had sexual relations, they were forced into exile or to commit suicide. It was perfectly normal to find men/boys attractive. But, it may have been a strictly “look, don’t touch” affair. This may have to do with Lycurgus “breeding program” for the Spartans. If a Spartan wasn’t spilling his seed into a woman (could be any woman, as older Spartiates often let younger Spartiates impregnate their wives if she was still fertile but he was not), then he was in a sense stealing from the state. Excessive sexual intercourse was frowned upon in Sparta, as it was seen as harmful to conception.
Adult homosexual relationships were generally frowned upon, across all of greece, and definitely Sparta. Again, this was not because a man found another man attractive, but because the sexual act (or suggestion of it) was disgraceful to at least one of the couple. Pederasty was cool, because naturally an adult man was dominant to a youth. But when that youth grew up, the relationship was expected to end. This is because of the penetration thing. As the greeks saw it, in sex between adult men, there was a “giver” and a “reciever” (passive would be a better translation). The “giver”, whether with a youth or man, was scene as asserting his masculinity. If the “passive” was a youth, that was considered natural. However, if an adult man assumes the “passive” role, they were considered to have “made a woman of themselves”. And in the Greek world, nothing is worse than for a man to be “womanly”. If a woman does something admirable, she is considered to be “manly”. Anyway, the plays of Aristophanes contain many scathing criticisms about such adult passives.
Thus, Leonidas isn’t joking when he says “betray their woman-like nerves”. As greeks, as Spartans, neither of these guys will accept being the passive.

Not only tendencies – it was a full-blown system. Homosexual relations in ancient Greece are (as far as I’ve seen) mentioned in a rather carefree way. However, those relationships were as far as I know between a younger (lower/feminine) and an older guy.
Could it be this gay chicken is to decide who will be the bottom/woman?

The notion that the greeks were all gay pedophiles (and while we are at it, that egyptians were all into bestiality) is because of some historians making the grave error of looking at some scraps of surviving poetry and using it to paint the entire culture in overly broad strokes.

give archeologists in the year 4000 some gay furry poetry from the year 2000 and they will make similarly ridiculous assumptions about us.

Also, The term “Lesbian” comes from the island “Lesbos” where a femal poet describes the ways the women on the island pleasured eachother. The greeks were probably the first to find homosexuality normal *is currently proud to be a greek*

Well, maybe. Mind you, the longer we go, the more we learn about the past. Our knowledge will increase, and I doubt many historians would believe as such about this millenium in about 2000 years. Though mind you, that may happen with popular history, which does that a lot.

SO MANY COMMENTS! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’d like to see future strips continue to chronicle this competition: the lavish wedding, the purchase of a beachfront bungalow near Notleys Landing… eventually, two elderly bearded men preparing a lovely duck confit with pommes de terre à la sarladaise together, each convinced that at any moment the other’s going to give in.

No it ends with us thinking that the don’t ask don’t tell police is probably instated because of the things said in the overly long, too informative responses that is if any of you actually read them and by the way there all true.

Correction: the only winning move is to videotape it and sell to your faghag friends (keeping one copy of course)
…
Faghag is the correct term, right? Women who will stalk homosexuality among men to witness the gay goodness. I’m never 100% certain on my translations, but you get the point :P

I’m pretty sure Leonidas was like, “Fuck the Gods!” and went to war without their approval. And even still, Kratos was like “Fuck the Gods” and went around killing them. Either way, neither is the “worshiping” type and technically neither should be alive in moderately modern time. Yet no matter how much you argue, spongebob will have campfires and songs named after them.

Immortals actually were the shittiest of the shitty troops Persia had. They were called Immortals because there were so god damn many of them that it seemed like they never died, since as soon as you killed one another was right there.

Yeah, gay chicken is nothing like that. It’s truly bizarre to watch, even for the shortest period of time. In the barracks, we had a couple of guys who would go really, really, really far. Somehow, people still played gay chicken with them.

er… TL;DR
So, I’m assuming that since this is their version of gay chicken, it won’t actually end up in kissing just because their definition of the gayest one is the one that looks away, therefore being much more womanly than the one that continues staring. That being said, weren’t a lot of spartans gay?

I’m kind of ashamed about this, but I saw 300 before I played God Of War, so that’s why it’s in this order…
Ever since I played God Of War, I’ve wanted to see a Leonidas/Kratos matchup. Although… Based on the stuff Kratos has done, Leonidas doesn’t stand a chance.

It’s true. At the Battle of Thermopylae, Leonidas I dismissed almost all of his troops in the knowledge that they would soon be outflanked and massacred; Kratos would’ve dismissed every last one of them, because he wouldn’t have wanted the other Greek soldiers to steal his orbs.

At first, I thought Kratos yelling “GAY CHICKEN” was just a tactic to force Leonidas to break the staring contest. The actual reality of this situation is much more hilarious. And mildly uncomfortable to contemplate.

Well in reply to that startling news all I have to say is
“Face the Facts Facebook Fuckers, my Financial Futility Forgot to Finance your Frequently Futile Fabled Facetiously Fabulous Fictitious Fucking Faggot Faces!”

I know a lot more words that begin with “F” but I don’t Feel like using them.

I am truly sorry if I offended anyone not in the facebook stock-market.

If you read this the manga way like I accidentally did at first, it makes it seem like Commander comes back to watch. Seriously, go look! xD
But yeah I don’t wanna know how it ends. I would however want a conclusion to the Commander/Canadian guy fight to the death. I think Commander would win.

“And in those darkest introspective moments you will despise yourselves, because you know with a certainty that you ENJOY your work. I offer no solace. There is no redemption. We… all of us. We are the damned.

I had no idea what gay chicken was (I don’t get out much anymore . . .) I thought it was just Kratos calling Leonidas gay. Thank you comments for clearing that little mess up. Rereading it made me laugh and the comments made me laugh harder.
Thanks Coela for continuing to make such funny comics!
Btw, I so totally want a Splatterhouse mug XD

Less original character development more unfaltering adherence to the original premise. Basically, if I was getting paid to do this I’d keep it bland and safe, but since it’s mine I’m gonna do what I want.

I always figured, along with being a temp agency it also involved therapy. Therapy in becoming a little less manly so people don’t automatically die when they walk out the door. Therapy so they can go to the grocery store without screaming about the eggs. Just plain therapy over all.

It wasn’t supposed to be, treating it as anything other than a work piece of fiction loosely inspired by real events means you’re reading into it too much. Saying people aren’t allowed to write historical fantasty because it’s not the way it happened is like saying people shouldn’t be allowed to make horror movies about giant bugs because exoskeletons and insect respiratory ststems can’t realistically support bodies that size. If you’re worried about people misinterpreting what they put in movies as fact, I’d say blatanly over-the-top fantasies that are obviously removed from reality are LESS damaging than something that could pass as a serious account of what happened.

Even WITHIN the story it was a fantasty, it was one surviving soldier coming back to weave this tale for the rest of the Spartans to drum up national unity and support for the continuing war effort.

Basically, I feel like if you’re going to complain that 300 wasn’t a cut and dry History channel documentary, you may as well be complaining that The Lion King had talking animals.

Not to mention that up until very recently and most certainly including the Spartan times, it was considered bad history if you didn’t embellish and make the events mythical on your own to a certain extent.

Also something that is such total and pure eye candy entertainment as 300 has always had a place in societal media. So does accurate depiction and we can love them both. Just saying.

I had buddies in the Percussion section of our high school band that played this, but they didn’t bring their faces together. Instead, they sat cross legged from one another, with hands on each others’ knees. They then had to run their hands up their opponent’s thighs and whoever pulled away first was the loser.

One guy won by giving his opponents legs a quick squeeze and freaked the other dude out.

Oh dear. I understand why he doesn’t want to find out now. I must say that I myself, however, am quite curious about the outcome of this challenge. I nearly missed the fact that Kratos and Leonidas move closer in the last panel. From this fact I think we may infer that they are probably “hardcore” players.

After reading this comic and all of the comments I have realized something… I am home!!!! Gay Chick, awesome manly refrences, and Oglaf quotes?! I need to reformat my actual life to fit these parameters! Off to find some manly men!

The only way gay people could play gay chicken is if there was no attraction between the two. It certainly is possible. Just like a straight man and woman can play it. If there’s an attraction between the two it’s called making out.

I can’t believe I need to elucidate on this. It’s just like Nick and Coelasquid said. If you are gay and playing with a straight friend, then you have the natural advantage and are therefore a cheater. And if you’re playing with another gay guy whom you have no attraction to, then it’s just makeout chicken.

Yeah, but there’s the threshold factor involved. Say you’ve never french kissed anyone before and now you’re in a game where the first person to turn away before reaching that point is the loser and your opponent has french kissed before (not casually, but still). I’d say the one for whom is his/her very first time would have the natural disadvantage.

hey, i stumbled to this link, and i recognize your style but it didn’t have your name on in, so i was gonna ask you if this was yours, but then i noticed your name in the link when i pasted it to here, so yeah….anyways, u just wanted to thank you for this guide, because it’s really helping me. Thanks!

The underworld was referred to as the “Realm of Hades”, the rivers that ran through it were the “Rivers of Hades” all named named after the ruler. Most people refer to the kingdom as “Hades” for short. It’s the title they had for their underworld, it’s like saying “No! That’s not Kitche Manitou! He’s called the Great Spirit!” or “No! That’s not Kleenex! It’s called Tissue paper!”

Hmm. Where I come from, Gay Chicken involves increasingly more homosexual actions that approach acting completely homosexual without actually being homosexual. The person who turns away first loses, but generally isn’t considered the more homosexual of the two.

As a rule, actually being homosexual disqualifies you. Since that’s just not fair.

In regards to the Final Fantasy IX discussion, “Red” is the nickname for Amarant Coral. Amarant is incredibly manly and would be right at home in these comics. :) I’d be so happy if any Final Fantasy characters ended up in here, although I know that there’s not many manly ones to choose from.

Luckily, my other great passion is God of War, so finding this website has made me truely happy. I love all your stuff featuring Kratos, although I think my fave has to be the “Kratos Issues” mini comic.

Coela, no fair. Neither one of them will win and life will implode, causing an end of all manliness and the creation of a new era of manliness that involves fluffy bunnies and bowls of nails for breakfast without any milk.

I think that this is one of my favourite comic pages here on Manly guys doing manly things :)

Also I’m not sure if you’ve played World of Warcraft for a while, but you really should add Varian Wrynn and Saurfang :) Both really fit into the category of manly men :)

Varian Wrynn has both his fans and haters, he has a very rich lore background, but that was never really revealed into the game. Players often just see him lose it during a battle against the enemie, so he sadly also has a lot of people that dislike him (completely forgetting that it was his vote after the second war to spare the orcs that saved the Horde in the first place, even after losing both his father to the Horde previously)

Indeed. Sparta very much abhorred Thebes and its Sacred Band, after all. In fact, Phillip of Macedon criticized the Spartans for believing them to be lesser warriors for fighting as paired lovers. But hey, the Spartans were pretty sore about having their asses handed to them by a former ally/”vassal” from the Peloponessian War…no pun intended.

I think it’s very odd we haven’t seen a single armwrestling contest yet. Just the thought of commander biceps ripping through his jacket while Canadian guy cries as his arm snaps or something less violent.

I don’t know if anyone’s posted this yet but ancient Greeks actually thought gay men were superior to hetero men because they thought of women as being imperfect and two men being together to them was the only way to have a perfect relation ship an example of this is how the God of the South wind and Dionysus the god of wine both fell in love with the same man in one of the Greek myths