Steve Urkel On The Size Of His Junk And Almost Getting Cast On “The Cosby Show”

“That’s why the character was named Rudy — it was intended to be a boy. That’s my tragic auditioning story. We were all packed up and ready to go to New York and my agent had told my parents that they needed to start looking for places to live out there. Next thing you know, there was one more audition and that was supposed to be a formality at the network. And a little girl comes walking in, and I’m like—even at eight years old—’Who’s she?’ And they’re like, ‘She’s auditioning for Rudy, too.’ So I’m like, ‘Oh, it’s not as much of a formality as I thought.’ That was my first time walking into a room of 30 people staring at you going, ‘O.K., make me laugh.’ They were in such a hurry to get to New York and start filming that they came out and picked the kids one by one right in front of all of us. Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Tempest Bledsoe … The rest of us all went home crying. It was amazing. Obviously I’m grateful that things worked out the way they did; I think it put a little more money in my pocket. … Let’s get something straight: all of these rejections resulted in me making a s**tload of money elsewhere.”

— Let’s revisit 1995 for a second and let this piece of information blow my mind: Steve Urkel almost wasn’t Steve Urkel! Jaleel White told Oh No They Didn’t!Vanity Fair he was thisclose to playing Rudy Huxtable on “The Cosby Show,” until Bill Cosby cast a little girl for the role instead. It doesn’t sound like the “Family Matters” geek has any hard feelings.

After the jump, Jaleel White talks about the size of his junk.This quote makes me feel extremely dirty because I remember watching Urkel when I was, like, 9:

“I was getting network notes on the bulge of my sack! I wore my pants so freaking tight and it was like, after awhile, we got a problem there. So, literally, the last season we loosened up his pants. … It’s not overly sophisticated, man. I’m the highest-paid black kid in the history of television, just so you understand that. I was trying to prolong the checks!”

Sigh. And you wonder why child stars as so screwed up? [ONTD] [Vanity Fair — with apologies to the interviewer, Mike Ryan!]