Episode 4: Adulting

On a recent trip to Chicago I realized that I need my family more at this point in my life than I need my independence. Is this what it feels like to be a grownup? Is this where the shift lies? Mild codependency?

Today on the podcast I explore (with the help of many readers who responded to my questions on facebook) what it means to be an adult, when being a grownup actually it happens, and which moments pop out to me and others as successful adulting.

When does being a grown up happen for you? Is it only during the hard parts? The successful life parts? Or when you can feel the acute sensation of the crushing responsibility of our lives?

**As a note, sometimes we turn the mic on when we’re all hanging out in the kitchen and just let it run. Today during the break, you’ll get a smidge of what dinner time sounds like in the Duprez household.

8 thoughts on “Episode 4: Adulting”

This is the first time I’ve seen one of your podcasts pop up and also had time to listen to it! That was really cool. I’m going to have to listen to the first 3. It’s so weird (not in a bad way!) to hear you guys’ voices after all these years of reading them.

And on the episode I use your quote!! That is so lucky! Thank you so much for listening! And I hope you like the other three. 🙂 I always wonder how other people think I will sound and how the reality compares.

I didn’t realize this until now, but apparently I’d always assumed you’d sound like my sister. And I figured Kamel would be more like some almalgamation of my college guy friends. Gabe sounds exactly as expected, though :p

I actually feel like an adult most of the time, now. I’m not sure when that flip happened, but I rarely have those “Yes, ADULTING!” moments anymore. Maybe it has to do with being in my thirties? But I did used to have them, pretty often.

One thing that never fails to make me feel like an adult with an exclamation point, though, is seeing my childhood friends’ parents. Obviously my adult relationship with my own parents evolved slowly, but it’s rare that I see my friends’ parents after college. So when I do end up talking to them at weddings/housewarmings/showers and it turns out that they are just fun people to talk to over a glass of wine (that I am TOTALLY ALLOWED TO DRINK!) it makes me feel 100% grown up.

Drinking with adults reminds me… I have a vivid and warm memory of being freshman or sophomore in college in and going to Thanksgiving and sitting next to my uncle, who made sure my wine glass stayed full the whole meal. I couldn’t technically drink, yet, and I hadn’t been close to that uncle as a kid. But it turned out that he was actually really nice and interesting. I felt like I had unlocked a new level in my family.

I’ve been saying this since college, but I always feel like a super adult when I pick up drycleaning. Like… what? I have adult clothes that need special care and are an important part of a professional wardrobe? I ESPECIALLY felt like that in college when I’d drive to the drycleaner – one, i have a car. Two, I have fancy clothes. I was always in the passenger seat when my mom picked up my parents’ clothes from the drycleaner, and now its mine!

I had a really strong reaction to this episode, and had to listen again to find out why. I think it was a combination of several things, most of them having to do with class, privilege, and how we all were raised differently; but at the core I agree with where you end up (or where I assume you end up): We feel like adults when we do things without any assistance, when we have to figure it out. For me, this was when I started to help out with family bills- So things like college, life afterwards- of course I was an adult! I’ve been one since 15! I do still want to go high-five everyone for their adulting EVERY DAY, because damn this is hard. Good, but hard.

If it makes you feel better, here’s the reality of my morning coffee routine: shuffle from the bedroom to the kitchen in my sweatpants and slippers, boil water and pour it over cold brew, then sitting blinking at the computer screen while I sip it for 20 minutes 😉

Other random thoughts:
– I never, ever have all my clothes hanging in the closet. Ever. They mostly live in laundry hampers in the laundry room. It’s one adult thing I consistently fail at and I’m pretty sure it drives my husband batty. (It drives ME batty too, because IT IS SO HARD to put together an outfit from a laundry hamper. And yet I never learn.)

– Gabe singing “peanut butter jelly.” Adorable.

– I most feel like a grownup when I eat Top Ramen for dinner. Because I’m an adult and no one can stop me from making that poor life decision.