Forgotten Nightie Causes Anguish

November 20, 1987|By Abigail Van Buren.

Dear Abby: A few months ago, the woman I had loved for six years moved to another city. We lived together for the last three years. Finally, she said she needed to get on with her life, and she left me.

In the process of moving, she inadvertently left behind a gift I had given her last Christmas. It was a beautiful, expensive (not that the price matters), sexy, very revealing nightgown. Our relationship is over, but I can`t bear the thought of her wearing that nightgown for another. I feel that I should mail it to her, but, as I have said, I hate the idea of her wearing it for someone else.

What do I do, Abby?

Bewildered in La Crosse

Dear Bewildered: You pack up the lady`s property and send it to her, that`s what you do. If it`s any consolation, Freud said, ``There are no accidents.`` Could she have left it behind because, unconsciously, she wanted to come back?

Dear Abby: The letter signed ``Jeffrey`s Mother`` hit home with me. It seems that Jeffrey had been dating Karen exclusively for two years, a fact well-known to his mother, but in introducing Karen to her friends, she said,

``This is my son, Jeffrey, and his friend, Karen.``

Karen took offense, saying she should have been introduced as ``Jeffrey`s girlfriend.``

Here`s my situation: My boyfriend and I have been living together for six months. Although we are not formally engaged, we plan to marry next year.

Last month, at his sister`s wedding, I had a chance to meet his whole family, who all live out of state. His mother, who is aware of our

relationship and future plans, introduced me to all the aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and grandparents as her son`s ``little friend``!

Belittled in El Paso

Dear Belittled: The letter from ``Jeffrey`s Mom`` sparked other memorable introductions. For example:

Dear Abby: Years ago when I was just a poor college kid, I was invited to spend the Christmas holidays with the family of a girl I`d been dating for about six months. We liked each other a lot, but I was in no position to make any kind of commitment. Well, can you imagine how I felt when her mother introduced me all over the place as ``Jennifer`s fiance``?

Gil (still single)

Confidential to `A Loving Mother`: So far you have given your son a car for his 18th birthday. He totaled it after three days. You gave him another car, which he totaled in two months. You gave him a chance for a college education. He dropped out in his sophomore year. You paid for the diamond ring that he gave his fiancee. He then broke the engagement, she returned the ring, and he hocked it and kept the money.

And now you ask me if you should borrow on your home to put this son in business.

My answer is an unqualified NO! Give him one more gift: a chance to prove that he is a man. Let him find his own job, stick to it, and learn how to stand on his own two feet.

Do you hate to write letters because you don`t know what to say? Thank-you notes, sympathy letters, congratulations, how to decline and accept invitations and how to write an interesting letter are included in Abby`s booklet, ``How to Write Letters for All Occasions.`` Send a check or money order for $2.50 ($3 in Canada) and a long, stamped (39 cents), self-addressed envelope to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054.