Wily's Warriors
- Episode 1 - Everything Old Is New AgainWritten
by Starnik

Starnik
as Quick Man

Darksage
as Crash Man

Ben
as Heat Man

Cyros
as Flash Man

Cinder
as Bubble Man

Naoshi as
Metal Man

Shadowstrike
as Air Man

Iga
as Wood Man

Narrator: We open our scene on a sunny mid-morning, light arcing itself into
the room of Starnik, better known as Quick Man of the Robot Master Team, “Wily’s
Warriors”…

Starnik: (Yaaawn) …(blink)(blink) Oh! It was
all just a nightmare! A horrible,
horrible nightmare… Ha, I knew Dr. Wily would never take us to court
over using his name… or that Jack McCoy would EVER go over to the side
of evil!*

Starnik: (pulls himself out of bed) Nnngh… man,
what a weird dream. I wonder
what the other members are doing…
Narrator: After a brief search of the house, Starnik finds it completely empty!
Not only that, all the furniture and electronics is gone as well!

Starnik: What
the…?! Were we robbed?! What happened here?! (Picks up a
note) …”Dear Starnik, saw you sleeping in, as usual, figured you
could meet us all at Dr. Wily’s castle. Catch ya later. Signed, Crash Man”… Erk!
Guess it wasn’t a dream… they must’ve moved all the stuff over
there last night… I better head over and see what’s happened! And
find out why I am saying everything out loud! Away~!

Narrator: Later, at the fortress…

Sniper Joe: (High in a tower) Who goes
there?!

Starnik: It’s me! Quick Man!
Of the Wily’s Warriors!

Sniper Joe: Pull
the other one!

Starnik: I am! I have ridden the length and breadth
of the land to find out what
has happened to my team! I must speak with Dr. Wily!

Starnik: …gshferooooouuuu!
And another thi-…wait, where am I?
Dr. Wily?!

Dr. Wily: (making his way towards Starnik) Heh. Welcome
to my humble abode. I
trust your trip was pleasant? We have a few things to get out of the way, and
then we can get to your eternal service to me…

Starnik: erk… yeah… but
before that, what’s happened to Johnny
(pointing to Cyros)? He doesn’t seem to remember me at all!

Dr. Wily: Ah… you
must mean Flash Man. You robot masters were giving me a few problems, so I decided
to rewrite your programming. I gave all the Warriors
more “evil” personalities…

Starnik: WHAT?! But, what about Shadowblade?!
Life Virus? Koloa? Pharon?!

Dr.
Wily: (faking concern) Hm, yes, they’re quite gone now, I’m afraid.
The only one I haven’t had to reprogram is Ben. He was already evil and
psychotic to begin with…

Starnik: Wait, wait, wait, you said you made them
evil, but this guy here (motions
to Cyros again) seems nice enough…

Dr. Wily: (whispering) I made him like… Pokemon.

Starnik: …You twisted
BASTARD.

Cyros: …Huh? (Looking hurt) But… it’s… it’s
got
its good points…

Dr. Wily: (holding up a screwdriver) and now, my speedy
little friend, it is
your turn. Can’t have you mucking about, trying to save the world and all…

Starnik: Tsk, way to go Bass! Your
outburst made me miss! Now I’m going
to have to hunt him down! (runs off)

Dr. Wily: (rubbing his chin) Hmmm… most
excellent… Looks like I may
have use for him after all…

Bass: Dr. Wily, why didn’t you tell him
about those backups you made of
the Warriors’ original personalities on disk?

Dr. Wily: For the same reason
I didn’t tell him about the extra spare bodies
I keep of all my robot masters… it might have given him too many “ideas”… Besides,
why let those personalities go to waste? They may prove useful to me one day…

Bass:
Huh, I would’ve just gotten rid of them to be sure…

Narrator:
Later, deep in the underground caves that worm around under Skull Castle, we
see Starnik has cornered Murray, standing between him and an underground river
that could lead to freedom!

Starnik: End of the line, bub. (aims a Quick Boomerang
at Murray again)

Murray:
(tensing up) Grrrwwwwlll…

Starnik: …

Murray: …?

Starnik: I… I can’t do it! (turns around and sits
down at the water’s
edge)

Murray: …grunt? (walks towards Starnik)

Starnik: …They’re gone,
Murray. Everyone I knew… I mean, I
know we didn’t get along all the time, and we had our differences, but
they’re GONE. You and Ben… ha… that’s all that’s
left of us.

Murray: (nods sympathetically)

Starnik: …I don’t know what to do,
Murray. Maybe if… maybe
if I had done a better job, taken everything more seriously…

Murray: Growl!

Starnik: (crossing his arms) You’re right, of course. Can’t
change
the past. I’ve gotta live with it… and now I’m stuck on a team
where I don’t know anyone… where we have to work for one of the most
evil mad scientists on the planet… Heh, at least YOU can escape, Murray.
(motions to the water)

Murray: Grunt?

Starnik: Er… sure. Maybe Shadowblade still IS
out there, somewhere. (nervous
smile) You never know, right?

Murray: (nods) Growl. (slides into the river, swims
off)

Starnik: Heh, see you
later… some day… (sighs) Guess… I have
to report back, don’t I? (Wandering back) I can’t help but wonder… this
new team, what will it be like?

Narrator: And so, our despondent hero made his
way back to the mess hall, where Dr. Wily and the Warriors were gathered, eating
dinner. To Starnik’s surprise,
the scene was reminiscent of the old Warriors’ antics!

Ben: Why won’t
you BURN?! (Firing Atomic Fire at Cinder)

Cinder: (constantly
putting out the flames with Lead Bubbles) I’m regretful
to notify your minuscule intellect that there is no way for your conflagration
to mar one such as myself. Now, allow me to consume your sandwich in tranquility!

Naoshi:
(using Ben’s flames to roast hotdogs) Hey, keep it up Ben! Just
a few more minutes and I’ll have made enough to feed all the Joes!

Darksage:
(to Iga) Of COURSE you want me to have power of attorney! You can’t
be bothered to be “signing” things all the time, can you? I’m
merely trying to make your life easier! Now, sign on this dotted line…

Iga:
(holding pencil nervously) I… I don’t know about this…

Cyros:
(talking to Mr. Whiz) …And so, THAT is what happened in episode
37. Now, in episode 38…

Mr. Whiz: (foaming at the mouth) Gack… blargh…

Shadowstrike: Oh my
God! You’re KILLING him!

Narrator: Surveying the scene,
Starnik is at first struck silent. Then despite
himself, he begins to laugh!

Starnik: (laughing so hard, he’s crying) I
guess… I guess it’s
true! The more things change, the more they stay the same…