Pages

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Sore. Throat.

Yesterday I yelled at my kids for so long my throat hurt when I was finally done.

I didn't scream and it was not an out -of -control thing. It was not a rage. I just yelled. I yelled long and I yelled loud.

I have done nicey- nice voice to death. I have been understanding. Compassionate. I have listened and supported. I have tried to compromise. I have tried to fulfill needs that appear never- ending. I have been present during rages. I have been calm. I have been loving and affectionate. Been to my happy place and stayed (mostly) regulated. I have been in the moment. I have listened to the fear instead of the words. I have responded to the intention instead of the action. I have jacked up the positive. Ignored the negative.

I have breathed in. And out.

Not only do I have one child who goes from 0-60 in one single second but now I have another child who thinks that is how you get stuff done around here.

I remember reading an article a few years back about yelling at your kids. It was full of scathing remarks like "indulging in your anger will scar your children for life". "Raising your voice to children teaches them to be serial killers "(not an exact quote but you get the idea). So anyway, Teena especially was being a screeching brat yesterday. Remember The Exorcist? I would not have been surprised had she walked up the stairs backwards and upside down. Seriously! Well take THAT Parent Magazine. I'm sure they never interviewed Regan's twin sisters for any article they ever wrote suggesting that allowing your frustration to show as a parent makes your kids think they are bad and will lead to life long eating disorders (my personal fear for Genea in particular). I don't need a parenting magazine anyway, I need to call the archdiocese.

Listen, I was a great parent before I had kids. I really rocked this shit.

And I am not saying I am proud of myself..... but it did feel good.

(Before anyone gets their commenting fingers in a bunch yes I know this was not a good thing and I very well could have set us back by having my little fit and I should have been able to be the adult, put on my big-girl panties, and suck it up. I know. I do not claim to be Super Mom, only Generally Adequate Mom on Most Days).

I *seriously* need to have your email address. And your home phone number. Maybe your home address. I'll bring coffee. Because there is just not enough SPACE here in the comments for the amount of SNARK I need to share with you, Sister... I am in a massive fit o' giggles...

Yelling helps sometimes. I try to remember that when it's the kids yelling and not momma. Honestly bawling helps me a ton more.. lol. Yelling doesn't phase the kids but if I cry for a few minutes I feel much better;)

We've all done it. I got so tired of my older one kicking his little brother in the car while I was driving that last week I pulled over, pulled out the hairband from my ponytail, and tied his legs together. He took it off immediately, but it shocked him bigtime and now whenever I hear the little brother screech from the back seat I show older brother my rubber band and he stops. I felt like a total abuser. But my younger son no longer gets kicked during driving trips so I don't feel so bad! And you shouldn't either.

I think I told you before, my 3 year old has autism. The two year old thinks that screaming and repeating numbers is the way to go too. It can be scary when the younger one mimics the behaviors! and tiring....take care of yourself Essie.

P.S. Did your gifter also once give you an apron when she knew you hated cooking? Or was that a different family member? :)

Email

Subscribe via email

Subscribe

My book! Get the Kindle edition for just $3.99

The girls and their Mommy

Once upon a time I lived a lovely little life. I did what I wanted. I spent what I wanted. My husband and I traveled when we wanted and ate at restaurants when we wanted. One day after eating out while traveling and spending too much on dinner and drinks, we became pregnant and it was a girl (Teena). 2 years later I thought I had this mom thing under control and we adopted a 4 year old little girl (Genea). She is Ukrainian and was previously adopted by another family who dissolved ("disrupted") their adoption and severed their parental rights.The girls are 10 and 12 now. I left my job a few years ago to be a SAHM.Things have gone uphill from there!