Tuesday, June 18, 2013

﻿Seriously - for real - I know this to be true because last Wednesday lettuce put a hex on me and I will think twice before ever purchasing another bunch.

My trouble began when we decided to grill hamburgers and I ran to the store to pick up the necessities. If only I had stuck to the list: cheese, onion, tomatoes, and pickles. Yet, in my haste to grab what I needed and exit the store, the green leafy demon caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. Without a second thought, I tossed the bunch into my cart and headed for the check-out counter.

﻿AND FIVE SECONDS LATER THE TROUBLE BEGAN.

﻿I stood at the end of a line ten people thick. I looked left, then right - no relief in sight. Every other register stood empty and no one scurried to open. Silently, I scolded myself. Really? Lettuce was a necessary purchase?

﻿BUT THERE'S MORE.

Thirty minutes into my wait, the clerk was forced to call for register tape. Ten minutes after that, mustard wouldn't ring up at the sale price. Twenty minutes later, change for a one hundred dollar bill.

LETTUCE WINKED AT ME AND CACKLED.

﻿Finally - Oh geez, FINALLY, I made it to the conveyor belt and unloaded my basket. The clerk scanned each of my items until only lettuce remained. She dragged it across the scanner once, twice, and then three times in an attempt to record my purchase. Not once did the electric eye read the bar code.

The clerk, by this time just as impatient as I, thumbed through her nicely-laminated price list and then poked numbers on her keypad - an obnoxious beep resonated in the tense moment. With a loud sigh and a snap of her chewing gum, she recited the numbers out loud while she re-entered them. Still, the machine taunted us.

Monday, June 10, 2013

It's official - I spend WAAAYYYY too much time browsing the Internet in the name of research!! However, I do manage to learn some interesting things. Here's what I stumbled upon this week: 10 crazy (but true) laws:1. It is against Michigan state law to tie a crocodile to a fire hydrant.2. A woman in a housecoat is forbidden to drive a car in California.3. In Eureka, Nevada, it is illegal for men who have mustaches to kiss women.4. According to an Atlanta, Georgia, ordinance, "smelly people" are not allowed to ride public streetcars.5. In Mohave County, Arizona, if anyone is caught stealing soap, he must wash himself with it until the soap is gone.6. In Michigan, a woman's hair belongs to her husband.7. It's illegal in St. Louis, Missouri, for a fireman to rescue a woman wearing a nightgown. If she wants to be rescued, she must be fully clothed.8. Policemen are allowed to bite a dog if they think it will calm the dog down in Paulding, Ohio.9. In Indiana, it is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.10. A woman in Memphis, Tennessee, is not allowed to drive a car unless a man is in front of the car waving a red flag to warn people and other cars.Until next week,