Jared Leto [via telepathy]: I love your soul. We are a mere 30 Seconds From Mars.

**** END SCENE *******

Do yall <3 Jared Leto?
Would u show him ur perfect alternative breasts?
Do u wish u could be Jared Leto and get to see breasts on the reg?
Does Jared Leto's alt-ness inspire women 2 'take off their tops'?

Facebook is a place where ppl chill out and have fun and talk about life, love, buzzbands and other relevant topics. Every user has the ability to create his or her own 'social network' where you can connect + communicate with ppl from the past.

Then another streamer is like, "I tried 2 watch it but my parents can't afford hi-speed internet but I still <3 him and want him 2 take my virginity."

and then the other 1 is like "I've been in2 Jared Leto since Fight Club. Really think we'll end up 2gether."

Finally, one streamer is like "Oh shit. Jared Leto is 39 fucking years old? Dear lord, that is an old ass man. That's as old as my dad." Not so sexy any more. Kinda turned off."

******
Is Jared Leto 'totally sexy'?
Do u think his 39 year old peen would make u happy?
Is Jared Leto very healthy for a 40 year old man?
Why do girls think Jared Leto is s000 haute?
Did Jared Leto throw away a promising Brad Pitt-like career just to make crappy music in his buzzband?

First of all, I'd like to introduce myself to those of you who don't know who I am. My name is Jared Leto, and I am the lead singer of the popular band 30 Seconds To Mars. If you haven't heard of our band, you have probably been living in a metaphorical Chilean mine. Our band is possibly the best band around right now, mixing the best elements of arena rock, pop, and indie alt music, bringing positive, inpirational messages to humans all around the world.

Before I formally accept this award, I would like you all to watch my music video, in order to truly understand our brand. It is a music video that I helped to direct for our hit song "Closer to the Edge." Please dim the lights, and enjoy. I have provided you with large headphones so that u can appreciate our full sound.

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In this video, you can see how our band has a global brand with a universal message, resonating with ppl no matter their age, social class, race, or level of altness. I understand that as Jared Leto, it is my duty to bring a heightened level of social, metaphysical, and spiritual awareness to all humans.

I am an artist. I am more than an artist. I am Jared Letbro.

Thank you for this award. I am not sure if it is an Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award, or a Pitchfork 10.0 trophy, but I am appreciative. This is certainly not the first award we have won, and certainly not our last, but we appreciate your Awards Show's willingness to merge your brand with us. Even though we are easily the #1 band in the world right now, and a top-10 all time band, we are happy that you recognize our brilliance.
The truth is, I am the only really important member of this band, however, I let these two other dudes come along just because they wear the alt costumes that I tell them to wear. They are okay dudes (one of them is my brother so my mom made me let him into our band), but I do all of the creative heavy lifting for the band. They are willing to acknowledge that I am 'the special 1' in this band, and they are just along for the ride. I want to make it clear that this is not a team effort, and I am the only person accepting this award.

I'd like to thank our fans.
I would thank God, but I believe that I am the living Saviour of Humanity, and that 1 day every1 who isn't a fan of my band will be wiped off this Earth [via rapture].

It is truly an honor, not to me, but 2 ur award, for getting to be with me. I have a trophy room in my house, and this will be placed in it, right next to my 'Best Supporting Actor' Oscar from Fight Club. The trophy room is right next to my walk-in closet, which houses some of the most alternative fashions in the world.

I'm not going to lie--being Jared Leto is awesome, and I am happy to be me, and that is probably the greatest award that any1 can give u in life. However, ur award is nice, and once again, I would like to repeat that I am awesome, an artist, hot, bangable, and the greatest musician alive.

Thanks, and the awards show is now over, because this moment cannot be topped, and no other band is as important as my band. Good night every one. Hit me up @JaredLeto.

Jared Leto is widely regarded as the most alternative man alive. He is the front man of the popular dramatic alt rock band "30 Seconds to Mars Yall are we there yet plllzzz hand me a granola bar I gottta go to the bathroom, daddd!" He is known for being 'really epic' on stage, so it was rlly appropriate that they invited Kanye West on stage to 'effing crush it' at some European MTV Music Awards gimmick.

Kanye didn't really seem to take it seriously. He just wore a t-shirt and half-assed a song. Jared seemed to treat it like it was 'an epic Super Bowl halftime show.' I think my fave part of this video (besides Jared 'just bein Jared') is when Kanye comes on stage and does his thing, and Jared Leto is acting as 'hype man' behind him, running around, spinning in circles, really raising the energy level 4 the fans.

<3 <3 <3 Jared Letbro <3 <3
Jared closes the set by saying, "Gracias, Madrid", proving he knows how to speak Mexican/Spanish, really connecting with the 'commonfolk' of the local city. So sweet that he knows multiple languages/connects with the local plebeian-wave humans.

Lately, I've been watching a lot of makeup tutorials by tweens/lonely mainstreamer 20somethings on youtube. Feel like makeup is a great way to enhance ur personal brand because u can basically 'hide urself' if ur ugly, have acne scars, or if ur skin makes u look all gross [via peachfuzz sideburns].

Anyways, I just saw this broad do her makeup to look exactly like Jared Leto. Feeling mad creeped out. I know a lot of girls/twinks are really attracted to Jared Leto, so this really makes u ask the question "Would I make love to Jared Leto if he had a vajenga?"

If u r a straight bro, would u 'go 2 pound town' on Jared Letbro altbroad edition?
Feel like I got 'mega aroused' during this, not only because of the hunky effeminate features of Jared Leto, but also because of the sick ass Nine Inch Nails playing in the background. Kinda wished they used a '30 seconds 2 mars, yall' song.

Feeling scared
not sure if I'm 'straight'
or if i'm 'gay'

Not sure if I want 2 make <3 2 J Letbro
or if I h8 him
Not sure if Jared Leto is 'real'
Scared he is some sort of Midwestern female
[via the hit film Catfishes]

H8 the modern world
Digital lies
Personal brand shams
wool over our eyes

Srsly though.
Only God could be captured with a digital camera
in a picture like this 1
Really feel like I am the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars
Turn water in2 wine
Solve global conflict
promote peace and chillity
and cure kids who can't walk [via Forrest Gump]

Is Jared Leto the ultimate alt God?
Is there nothing that Jared Leto can't do?
When u were going thru difficult alternative times in ur life, was it Jared Leto who was carrying u? [via footprints]
Do u believe in JarBro?

Every post about Jared Leto that exists is an honest admission that I 'wish I could be Jared Leto.' Would love to be a rock star, an indie movie star, and look effing amazing every day of my life. Want to roll out of my bed, and be the alt-est alt alive. Want to write transcendent rock songs that embody the spirit of humanity.

Anyways, Jared Leto went on the Chelsea Handler Show on E!, which I have heard is the Jay Leno of E! Not sure if it is 'legit'/if ppl watch it. Nothing really happens in this clip. Think JLeto just 'eyeball fucks her', then gives her a sex toy, and expects her to 'go to town' asap.
Then she makes fun of his hair cuz he has an alt mullet. He then makes 'predictable joke' abt how he is 'business in the front' + 'party in the back.'

Also talks about being authentic and directing his next music video, and how it is going to be super sexual. Hope it is like a 'sex tape' or something and/or features tons of Leto peen. Do u get hornie for Jared Leto? Do u hope it is a 'fuck tape' with him playing a chulo, and 'giving it hard' 2 Paris "Perez" Hilton?
Is Jared Leto 'post-alt'?
Do u want to see a Jared Leto 'snuff film' music video?
Do u wish u could vibe out hard with him?
Is Jared Leto the most alternative man alive?

Jared Leto: Hi. It&#39;s me. Jared. Lady Gaga: Who r u? Jared Leto: U don&#39;t know me? Lady Gaga: You look familiar. Have u been to one of my shows? Jared Leto: No, not yet. I am actually in a band. Lady Gaga: That&#39;s nice. Jared Leto: Have you heard of &#39;30 seconds on mars?&#39; Lady Gaga: Is that the movie where a comet/meteor is heading 2 Earth and every1 is afraid of dying? Jared Leto: No, that is the movie Deep Impact. Lady Gaga: The one with Bruce Willis? Jared Leto: No, that is Armageddon. Lady Gaga: Loved that 1. Jared Leto: Yes. I am actually a movie star, too. Lady Gaga: Oh yea. What movies? Jared Leto: Have u seen Fight Club? Lady Gaga: Yes, a long time ago. I don&#39;t see very many indie films. Jared Leto: I was in that. Lady Gaga: Were u the fat guy with bitch tits? He is in a band. Jared Leto: No, that was Meatloaf Lady Gaga: Oh okay. well I g2g Jared Leto: But my band is awesome. I think u should check us out. Lady Gaga: brb gotta change costumes Jared Leto: I wear costumes too. Lady Gaga: Okay. Jared Leto: I want to be like u. U inspire me. Lady Gaga: Every1 is welcome to be a little monster. [via Shannon Gaga] Jared Leto: but u don&#39;t understand. I am a creative spirit. Lady Gaga: I encourage all young tweens to be creative, and 2 be themselves [via individuality {viavia Shannon Gaga}] Jared Leto: Do u want to see my band&#39;s video? Lady Gaga: I&#39;m super busy. Jared Leto: But we&#39;re super kewl. We ride bicycles around a post-apocalyptic city. Hold on. I will stream it from my iPhone.

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Lady Gaga: That was kinda fruity. Was that 4 real? Jared Leto: U didn&#39;t think it was beautiful? Lady Gaga: Was kinda dumb, honestly. Why am I still talking 2 u? Jared Leto: I&#39;m Jared Leto. I&#39;m an artist Lady Gaga: Okay. Jared Leto: I have a beautiful soul. When I look at u, I know that same beauty is inside of u. Lady Gaga: Plz stop bothering me. Jared Leto: I want to be with you. Lady Gaga: Excuse me? Jared Leto: I want to make love 2 u. Lady Gaga: I already have a partner. Jared Leto: I want to be inside of u. I want my peen to ride ur slutwaves. Lady Gaga: Ur kinda getting creepy on me bro. Jared Leto: I want to plant my seed in u. Lady Gaga: I am not fertile :-( Jared Leto: My cum/semen is rlly strong. Guarantee u will get preggers, even via oral/anal Lady Gaga: Scared of u. Jared Leto: I want to grow old with u. Lady Gaga: I will never grow old. I don&#39;t believe in &#39;time&#39; or &#39;age&#39; Jared Leto: I&#39;m hornie. Lady Gaga: Plz leave me alone. Jared Leto: My peen is hard right now. Lady Gaga: What is a peen? Jared Leto: It is slang 4 &#39;penis.&#39; Lady Gaga: That&#39;s chill. Jared Leto: I&#39;m in <3 with u. Lady Gaga: I&#39;m larry gaga Jared Leto: I&#39;m Jared mutha fuckin Leto and I can get any fucking pussy in the world. Don&#39;t kid urself. I just gave u the opportunity of ur lifetime to make love 4 real 4 the first time, and u turned that shit down. Ur gonna regret this. This won&#39;t be the last time u hear from me. I&#39;m Jared Leto. I was in Fight Club. I&#39;m in a buzzband. I&#39;m an artist. Jared Leto went on to join Coldplay. He was found dead six weeks after they swept the Grammys. Doctors claim he was &#39;too alt&#39; 2 be alive. Is Jared Leto a chill bro? Is he the most alternative human on the planet? Do u think Lady Gaga wants 2 &#39;ride&#39; Jared Leto? Would Jared Leto + Larry Gaga have the most conceptual sex in the history of the world? Should they try to have a child? If Jared Leto came up 2 u, what would u do?

Jared Leto is the lead singer of the popular alt rock band "30 seconds til we get to Mars--Are We There Yet, yall?" His personal brand is 'so out there', and he really represents the old vibes of rock n roll. Just a dude who is all about the performance, the glam, the status, and mother effing rock n roll.

Not sure what his vibe is all about during this show. Seems like a 'poor man's lady gaga' or something. Like he didn't get a legit costume designer, and instead went to a local Walmart crafts section.
Do yall know where I can buy some plastic shoulder pads + lil studs? Does Hot Topic carry those lil things, or maybe at an outdoors store?

Always feel perplexed by this bro. Not sure what world he is living in. Wonder if he is 'insane' or if he is 'chill.' Just trying to figure him out, but not sure if I ever will.

Whenever I feel like getting more confused, I just watch 30 Seconds to Mars music videos + live performances.

Here is one where they go to Asia and become ninjas, singing a majestic core alt rock song.

Jared Leto is an actor who takes alt roles, but is ultimately trying to be in some mainstream alt rock band that wears makeup and sings about deep shit that no1 can really understand, unless ur uneducated, then u just get to 'pretend' that u 'get' it.

N e ways, he seems 2 be on some quest for authenticity. Seems to have dyed /bleached his hair blonde. Seems unhealthy, like ur hair might fall out or something.

He also seems to be wearing some Oops I Crapped My Pants pants, which are pants that look saggy so that u can take a poop in them.
Have yall ever pooped ur pants?
Do u use diapers or do u wear saggy bottom pants?

Why do u think he dyed his hair blonde? Is his career 'tanking' and he is trying to 'reconnect' with his Fight Club era brand?
Will Lared Jeto ever be authentic, or is he just a mainstreamer with a marketed alt personal brand?
Is it still alt to 'dye ur hair'?
Should I get a bottle of Sun-In for the summer?
Is Jared Leto 'the hottest man alive'?

Here's a vid of JLeto 'acting like a dbag rock star' at some music festival. Sorta hope he headlines coachella soon.

Sunkist is a popular orange soda, competing with orange sodas like CRUSH and FANTA in order to create the perfect orange soda formula. They are in search of a demographic of alternative ppl who 'love orange soda.' Colored sodas are stereotypically associated with minorities (red, purple, orange = for browns and blacks) but it seems like they are trying to give Sunkist a new vibe. Something that 'hipsters', 'alts' and Beach Bros can drink when they get blazed, maybe.

Maybe they are trying to create a more meaningful Mountain Dew, like something that is for xtreme alts, except when they feel like chilling. Hope 'Orange Label Sound' launches soon.

Can't believe they picked the majestic song "Kings and Queens" by Jared Leto's buzzband 30 Seconds To Mars. Feel like that song is 'hilarious' since they are trying so hard to be the most meaningful alt rock band of all time. In the original video, a clan of bicycle alts roam the streets of Los Angeles, searching for meaning.

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Seems like Sunkist is trying to create a group of consumers similar to the alts seen in this video. Alts who vibe out to majestic altrock, living in a post-apocalyptic urban environment, where nothing matters except for beverage choices.

What's yalls favourite orange soda?
Do u think Sunkist will rebrand itself successfully and make more money?
Is Jared Leto the perfect alternative spokesman?
Should Sunkist try to ride chillwaves to sell more sodas?
Are colored sodas for minorities?

Red sodas are for __________ (Mexis?)
Purple sodas are for _________ (Blacks?)
Green sodas are for __________ (xtreme white bros/white trash/skaters)
Diet sodas are for __________ (rich, fat whites/dumb girls)
Regular brown colas are for ________ (every1)
Water is 4 ________? (no1)
Is coffee for _______?
Is tea for ________? (AZNs/Indians)
Lemon Lime sodas are for _______?

What kind of soft drinks do yall drink?
Do different colored people have a natural affinity towards certain soft drinks, or is it just 'branding'?

Do yall think that popular alternative actor + alt band front man Jared Leto looks like the star of FRIENDS + SCREAM Courtney Cox-Arquette?
Is 30 Seconds to Mars the greatest band on the planet?
Is Courtney Cox hotter than Jennifer Aniston?
Is Jared Leto hotter than Jennifer Aniston?
Which 1 of these bros would u rather be intimate with?

Alternative Celebrity Look Alikes compares the personal brands of alternative celebrities with other famous and microfamous humans. This ALT REPORT gimmick was inspired by the mainstream version of this meme at totallylookslike.com. Please submit your alternative celebrity look alikes at the ALT REPORT TIP LINE.

Photograph: The creator/CEO of tumblr, David Karp & Kevin Rose, creator of popular meme database DIGG chilling on some panel where entertainers/tech ppl explain how they use social media to interact with fans. Jared Leto seems 'mad alt.'