Worst Christmas Songs on the Radio Part 2

Teens everywhere hate the music apocalypse that has spawned during the holiday season. Specifically, a community outlaws certain songs and breaks down why.

BAKERSFIELD, CA - A coalition of teens has officially banned four songs from a local top 40 station because of the psychological effects they were having on members of the population. "Something was happening, and we were determined to get to the roots of it and put an end to it." The leader of the high school's conspiracy club said at a press conference explaining the decision to ban Wonderful Christmastime, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Close, Frosty The Snowman, and You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch.

"In a double blind study we found that people who listened to Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney within the last week were more likely to have listened to more dad music in the same period." Professor Abraham Steinberg, a well known anti-dad music activist continued "If people, especially young people, start listening to bands like the Beatles then there may be an event similar to that which prompted the Dark Ages. A cultural regression could easily cause the next degeneration of society."

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch, was recently declared by the NAACP to be "racist" considering that "Mr. Grinch" was the only known member of his species in all of whoville.

evil? or just another example of white privilege

Frosty the Snowman was deemed inappropriate because of it's crystal clear reference to crack cocaine. Samantha Rockwell, a cheerleader, responded "to me it's black and white, and let's just say I would definitely prefer the white."

MILF culture led to the banning of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus because teens were "dressing up as Santa Claus" and "banging each other's moms". When your bro is your little brother's pops, you might have to pop your bro for being a little bit of a dick.