I probably find this funnier than you will, but I love this guy. He explains the "21 Foot Rule" which is a well known principle that I've never heard of: It takes a man with a gun the same amount of time to draw his weapon and fire as it does for a man with a knife to charge him from 21 feet away and stab.

So, to prove this Rule Of The Street, he demonstrates how fast he can move during those 21 feet and slaughter, and I mean slaughter, a cardboard cutout. And it's the charging that's the gold in the clip. I mean, it's enough to make a marine freeze with fear.

Did everyone in Midlothian have a camera in their hand when the tornado appeared? There's about a 1,000 pictures of it.

The guy that was struck and killed on 183 in Irving a couple of days ago was in the military and on a layover for the night after landing at DFW. But why was he walking on a highway at 6:00 a.m.?

Another weird story is a guy found under an overpass in Dallas whose motorcycle is missing. It's like he went over the side of the highway with the exception the motorcycle is no where to be found. He is the son of a Dallas policeman.

Brett Michaels, who is recovering from a brain hemorrhage, revealed he was at home watching Busty Cops 3 when it happened. (Which, I don't mind saying, is better than the last Batman movie.)

This license plate I saw last night reminded me of a Seinfeld episode.

The trailer for the new Sex In The City movie has Carrie uttering the line, "We're not in Kansas anymore!" Really? That line? You really want to go with that?

I'm awful at to do lists and reminders, but I discovered Evernote which is a really, really cool.

How with all the great minds in this world can we not stop that oil leak in the Gulf? It's bordering on ridiculous.

I had to make the double trip to the grocery store last night. You know, you get home from the store and realize you didn't buy something you have to have that night. Beating.

WBAP's Mark Davis, who is losing it lately, went on a rampage the other day with "How dare the Mexican president come to OUR country and criticize one of OUR states. How dare you, sir!" Please. That would be like, heaven forbid, President Obama going to Mexico City and criticizing the lawlessness in the city of Juarez.

I think over the next 20 years we'll see a huge move away from Windows with programs which run on our desktops to Google's Android operating system where all the programs and data are kept in the clouds.

Can a county inmate legally be denied the access to an abortion clinic if she is willing to pay for the procedure herself? From a legal standpoint, no wonder the ACLU got involved -- it's a fascinating legal question.

"As country music played* and a pack of Marlboro menthols sat idly by, some bar patrons at a local watering hole in West Allis, WI burned an effigy of Barack Obama and cheered. Wisely, they took video. Here it is."

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*actually David Alan Coe's "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" which is the perfect theme music.

Who knows if this will take off, but Google isn't worth a krillion dollars for nothing. Gizmodo has been updating the news here.

We still don't have flying cars, but everything sure is beginning to feel a lot like the Jetsons. Which reminds me, do you remember those AT&T "You Will" ads from 1993 regarding what technology would hold in the future? It all came true.

There might be something wrong with the comments making their way to me. Some people say they have to click the submit button twice before they see the "Your comment has been saved" notification.

Someone write this down to remind me after the November elections: "For more than half a century, the average midterm pickup for the party out of power has been 24 seats [in the House of Representatives.]" That'll be the benchmark.

The faux hawk haircut is goofy.

The new mascots for the London 2010 2012 games are creepy. [Edit @ Danny Boy's comment: Ok, that was funny.]

Had a guy ask me yesterday if I had written anything good on "Dairyland." Funny.

More cops gone bad: Two Dallas officers were arrested last weekend on DWI charges.

It seems silly that Lake Bridgeport is still closed. Sometimes I think people in authority exercise power simply because they can.

How bad were the Mavs? They got beat by San Antonio who then got killed by Phoenix who are now getting destroyed by the Lakers.

I finally subscribed to a private Texas Criminal Lawyers message board. Verdict: I'd be scared to death if I were the client of some of those guys.

Is the journey between Bridgeport and Boyd a little junkier looking than it used to be?

Last week had the lowest number of album sales since Nielsen's Soundscan started tracking them in 1991. And I really don't know why "albums" are produced anymore. Why don't artist just release a decent "single" every six months.

The Byron Nelson golf tournament kicks off today without one of the top 15 players in the world taking part in it. That thing might die one of these days.

5.19.2010

Here's the deal: Among the many non-money making enterprises I run is Wise County on the Web which includes Wise County Free Classifieds. A couple of months ago, someone posted an ad to adopt twins on the cheap. I really didn't notice because I rarely look at the ads.

Well, someone called the Sheriff's Office who starts an undercover investigation. (They tell me because the cops and I are tight.) Never really thought anything else about it.

A couple of days ago the ad is posted again but this time it really infuriated a bunch of people, and I get bombarded with complaint emails. Then, today, KXAS Channel 5 calls me! Good grief. The above screenshot is from their web site, and I think they are even running something on the news about it tonight.

So I check back with the High Sheriff who indicates that the best they could determine was that the offer came from some lady out of the country who wouldn't give up any information. And she kept wanting any potential buyers/adopters to go through a middleman who she referred to as "my reverend." Bottom line: They are very sure there are no children and even surer it's just a scam for money. (Like the Nigerian scam but with a picture of a cute kids.)

Anyway, everyone can calm down. Plus, you know those kids had to be little hellions if they were just worth $6 a piece.

Fort Worth police shot and killed a distressed 21 year old in Richland Hills this week. It might have been suicide-by-cop. Maybe not. Anyway, the kid's mom comes out yesterday and said the Fort Worth cops were "too trigger happy."

The above graphic is a random tweet that went out afterwards on the Chief of Police's twitter feed.

Hooters has told this waitress that she's too fat and needs to lose weight.

Another Republican congressman has been caught in an affair and will resign.

Wise County now has three assistant DAs and they got a raise this week to $95,000 a year.

Two Letters to the Editors in today's Messenger have a title that says, "Headline goes here."

Saw parts of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest last night --- had no idea that Christopher Lloyd ("Doc" from Back To The Future) was one of the crazy patients.

Irving rush hour was slowed this morning when a body was found on the 183 freeway. That's not exactly a Chamber of Commerce moment.

Odd moment last night when Rangers' reliever Neftali Feliz simply dropped the ball during his windup. I'm not sure I've seen that before. It was even funnier because it was with two outs and two strikes in the 9th, and the crowd was on its feet in anticipation.

I don't think the Republicans had a good night last night: A Tea Party candidate beat out a Republican in the Senate race in Kentucky, and the Democrats held onto the Pennsylvania Senate seat formerly held by John Murtha.

Edit @Wordkyle's comment: The Tea Party candidate did, in fact, run as a Republican. But considering he is Ron Paul's son, and considering the Republican establishment (including Dick Cheney) backed his opponent, that was a Tea Party win over a Republican in my book.

Edit @DannyBoy's comment: You might want to check your facts regarding the Pennsylvania primary before going on a rant.

I think DPS troopers sitting on the back side of the northbound 287 service road after the 407 overpass is sneaky.

I'm pretty interested in the feds going after R. Allen Stanford, the Texas man accused of bilking billions of dollars from investors through sales of CDs. If you are to, there's a pretty good update here. He's been in jail for a few months and is not handling it well.

Bought a lottery ticket for the first time in months last night. Did you know you can't pay for it with a debit card? Isn't that the same as cash?

On another lottery note, is there any more of a beating than being stuck behind someone cashing in lottery tickets who then turns around and picks out more?

"I know it is hard to see, but this is a lady on a motorized cart with three (3) kids riding. She takes these kids up the street, to the crosswalk, across the crosswalk, and directly up to the door to drop them off."

There was some type of "inappropriate sexual contact" between a 17 year old boy and a 14 year old girl on a band trip. But we don't know the act, if they were boyfriend/girlfriend, or whether it was consensual. Does it matter? For the band director, heck yeah. (Note: news stories will always call it "abuse" or "assault" even if the act is consensual if the act still constitutes a crime.)

The Penal Code makes it illegal to commit certain sexual acts with a minor who is under 17. But if the minor is 14 years or older, it's not a crime so long as the acts were (1) consensual, and (2) the accused is within three years of age of the "victim." So if the acts were consensual, we don't even know if the 17 year old committed a crime until we get a calender out. (Being three years and 1 day older takes you outside of the statute.) And I don't think you can expect a band director to know the details of the law. It could be that he didn't think it was a crime at all.

So until we know what the band director was told, it's a little hard to judge him. But I'm sure he's not feeling judged today at all.

Edit: Here's the statute.

And "abuse", by definition, includes consensual sexual contact with a person under 17 by someone three years or older that that person. But if all the band director knows is a 17 year old and a 14 year old are have had sex, does he have "cause to believe" that the law is being broken? For all he knows, she might be 14 years and 11 months old and he might be 17 years and 1 day old. If that's the case, the kid is safe and no crime was committed.

You guys feel free to convict the band director under those circumstances, but I won't. (And, to further complicate it, he would have the additional defense that, regardless, she wasn't "adversely affected" within the meaning of the statute.)

We're not talking about whether he broke school policy. We aren't talking about whether he should be suspended. We aren't even talking about what is the morally correct thing to do when he learned of the conduct. We are, however, talking about the government trying to convict him of a crime for not reporting. It's easy to forget that he didn't touch anybody.

But if it's non-consensual between the two kids, the band director has trouble.

And co-host Brian Kilmeade, proving he's well rounded, asked, "Whose idea was it for the contestants to wear high heels with bathing suits?" Maybe he was born yesterday.

The metroplex news coverage of the Lake Bridgeport natural gas spill yesterday was a little bizarre. It happened on Friday afternoon and becomes news on Monday? (I think they all have skeleton crews on weekends.)

The Messenger Editor appeared at some public hearing yesterday in connection with the Postal Service considering discontinuing Saturday service. Since the paper is still delivered by mail on Saturday, he is concerned.

New USC coach Lane Kiffin, who has never won anything anywhere, will say tonight on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel that he is making $4 million a year.

"BPsaid Monday that about 20 percent of the oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico is being swallowed up by its insertion tube system and no longer feeding a giant slick off Louisiana." If I had a septic tank running into my neighbor's pool, I don't think he'd be satisfied if I told him I had diverted 20% of it.

The Ballpark in Arlington looked like a lake 30 minutes before game time last night. And with only a 15 minute delay, it looked absolutely normal and the game was underway.

I went to the dentist yesterday. I hate going to the dentist.

NOAAsays April was the hottest April since they've been keeping records.

The parking striping in downtown Bridgeport is really tricked up now.

Want to know why the University of Texas (and others) would want to leave the Big 12? The most recent numbers indicate that the revenue sharing plan had them earning $10 million in 2007 while Baylor pulled in $7 million. But the schools in the Big 10 make $20 million a year and that number is expected to soar. (Source.)

Oh my: 87 year old trying to mark one off his Bucket List died on the Texas Motor Speedway track on Saturday.

I finally saw Date Night this weekend. Summary: Silly and predictable but with some laugh out loud moments.

Wow: In 1952, the Boyd Police Chief was shot and a crowd gathered to cheer about it according to this AP story (pdf) in the Seattle Times. (Credit: Bud Kennedy.)

There was a story on the news last night of a guy in Dallas handing out envelopes with $1 in them and encouraging people to add a dollar and give it away themselves. Good idea. But at what point do you think people would keep the envelope? I say $5.

Modern Family is pretty funny.

The First Baptist Church of Dallas has raised $115 million for reconstruction costs. WWJD?

Saw an overweight family playing tennis this weekend. The dad ended up yelling, "No one in this family has a lick of hand/eye coordination." And he beaned his little son with a serve.

It's weird that the oil spill in the Gulf really hasn't done much damage to land yet.

The lady that escaped Wise County Sheriff's deputies last week while handcuffed was recaptured. There's no word as to what happened to the handcuffs.