Sleeve it out

Given that the older woman is well-advised to cover the tops of her arms, why are there no Little Black Dresses with sleeves to be found anywhere? And please don't give me the "you can always wear a dear little bolero over your shoulders" line: buying a dress that you have to cover seems silly.Julia Messenger Cheltenham

· A recent newspaper supplement had this proclamation on its glossy pages: "[For women over 50] concealing one's arms is a must." Well, golly. A "must". I must have been asleep when parliament laid down that law. Does it now merit an Asbo? Will showing an arm that is not as smooth as it once was result in wailing in the streets? Christ on a bike. I have little truck with fashion diktats about how one's taste and style should change as one progresses through one's decades. I'm not saying you should dress like an overgrown toddler, à la Grayson Perry, but if you fancy baring your arms, bare away. Whose life is it anyway? But if you really do feel more comfortable with your arms under a wrap, there are options, albeit limited. Designers don't tend to make long-sleeved black dresses because most make customers look like outtakes from The Addams Family. But Diane von Furstenberg can trick out good, non-witchy, black dresses and, although expensive (we're talking £200-plus), they are bloody worth it (in as much as a £200-plus dress is ever worth it [insert token nod to particularly stentorian Guardian readers). And well put about the bolero, Ms Messenger. Well put, indeed.

I noticed that pointed toes are making a comeback for men this year. As a 58-year-old ex-leather boy, can I dust off my old Denson Fine Points, or will this year's winklepickers be subtly different somehow?Mitch Mitchell By email

· Ah, Mitch Mitchell! So good they named you twice! But why the intimation of past tense? Older chaps look wonderful in a bit of beaten-down cowhide: its sheen does wonders for the complexion. Or something. Anyway, yes, pointed toes for men are indeed back for this season but, as you rightly predict, they are slightly different from their original incarnations - this is a necessity for the fashion world. After all, if they were just the same then you could just wear your originals instead of being forced to fork out money for new ones and, well, that's just cheating, isn't it? So the new versions are rounder of toe, not so narrow and slightly less phallic over all. Because this is my problem with men and pointy shoes. The equation is too obvious, the suggestion too blatant and the whole thing smacks of animals in the wilderness walking around with all their goods on proud display all the better to show off their breeding potential. But men have always loved doing this kind of thing - just think of that bizarre early 19th-century fashion for tight breeches with cropped jackets (I've never understood why everyone goes on about the scene in the BBC's Pride and Prejudice when Colin Firth takes off his shirt when, thanks to his breeches and cropped jacket, there is a far more revealing moment for him and Crispin Bonham-Carter in the double wedding scene at the end. Seriously, go watch it. That'll give you all some Christmas cheer.) So anyway, tap along the streets in your pointy toes if you must, but on your head be it if you get ravaged by a hormonal female.

Help! My girlfriend is a real fashion fan. What shall I get her for Christmas?Carl Jones London

· How the bejeezus should I know? Contrary to popular glossy-magazine belief, not every single member of a gender has the same taste in gifts. So just as not all men will want a new iPod accessory, not all women will be thrilled with some perfume set. Anything that is promised to "please all women" can be safely read as, "Utterly bland, impersonal and will be given to Oxfam the next day." Giving blanket advice on presents for people you don't know is like giving out medical prescriptions blind - highly risky and will probably result in vomiting. So seeing that I, to my knowledge, am not acquainted with your fine lady, I can offer only an unimpressed shrug. Just go and buy her something you actually want and then you can later nick it for yourself when she fails to see its charms. We all know everyone does that anyway.

Next week I must endure four Christmas parties. Is there anything I must or must not do in order to come out the other side, dignity and sanity intact?D Curtis By email

· We have already discussed at length the etiquette for office Christmas parties and you all know my thoughts on the male party shirt (Ask Hadley, passim, as they pretentiously say in Private Eye). But I am grateful to Tatler for recording a party moment in its current issue from which I feel we can all learn. A most intriguing gentleman by the name of Robert Hanson decided to celebrate his 45 years on this planet by flying some friends on a private plane to Ukraine. These friends included the likes of Tim Jeffries, Danni Minogue and "Russian beauty Victoria Smirnova". It is at this point I must hand the microphone over to Tatler, as it can illuminate the anecdote far better than I ever could: "In lieu of any music to dance to, Tim Jeffries - quite possibly powered with Duracell batteries - hijacked the pilot's cap and the steward's microphone and made announcements on the inflight PA, warning passengers that . . . he may be 'dragging his undercarriage over Ukrainian bush' during the subsequent 48 hours." Now, what can we learn from this, ladies and gentlemen? Namely, don't go to a party that involves getting on a private plane with Tim Jeffries, as you may feel the urge to throw yourself off it, mid-flight. And that, surely, is a useful lesson for us all this party season.