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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Three's a Crowd

It's no secret that I like it when OE is working. I love the peace and quiet, in addition to the time I can spend with Charity, or on the computer, work, or whatever I feel like without his constant interference/interruptions. He really is worse than another child would be I think. The longer we're together, the more helpless he becomes. When Charity was a baby and we were visiting my parents in Indiana, he actually called me to ask if he had any clothes to wear. And of course I answered that they were in the same place they'd been for over a year. It's not even the stupid stuff like that episode that really bugs me though. It's just him. We used to work together, live together, play together. But then Charity was born, and more often than not, it was just me and her. I've felt like a single mother more times than I can count, although that would possibly be easier since I wouldn't expect help from him.

Now we're on the road for the summer/fall, and in (extremely) close quarters. I can deal with that on a 'part time' basis, I knew what to expect when we decided to come back on the road this year. However, I was counting on him getting off his ass working and not being constantly in the house... Unfortunately, we have an abundance of employees for this early part of the season, so that leaves him with nothing to do but bug me. I get nothing done that I want to, Charity cries because she doesn't like what he (constantly) has on TV, he bitches that Charity is whining, and I just want to run away.

You know, it used to be fun to be together all of the time. I used to really enjoy spending time with him, but after 10 years together (8 1/2 married), it's just become another chore. Instead of feeling more like I can be myself with him, I feel less that way. We do fun family stuff sometimes, but overall, I feel like the maid/babysitter/personal servant and it gets really old. I'm not sure my marriage can take all of this togetherness.