Sunday, January 14, 2007

While I am definately an extrovert, in recent years, ... and as a result of my life experiences, as a black male, ... I now tend to keep my distance ... from the crowds. Which may shed light on why, and not unlike Exhibitionism-Voyeurism, that my focus during the 2007 MAL was "Out in the Streets".

Having just purchased tickets moments before at the Washington Plaza Hotel when passing this hunk on the street I'd inquire if he would be at the Reaction Dance later that night. When he said yes my response was 'I'll see ya there!'

However, when nearing the 9:30 Club a few hours later that I'd reflect on my experiences at the Steele Club in Fort Lauderdale in November and at the Saint Black Party in March ... I decided to NOT attend the 2007 MAL Sunday night dance party.

Even though many people, themselves, have cameras, camcorders and camera-phones and, of course, will take pictures - when they see me ... a black male ... their first and last reaction is to criminalize me. An hour or so before taken these HAZMAT/Bomb Scare - Dupont Circle photos when in the course of my ongoing Logan Circle Project that I'd snap a photo or two of a man jumping in the street he'd walk up to me and say something to the effect that 'normally, I'd prefer that people ask me if they may photograph me ...'.

I'd explan that while I understand and, normally, before taking such pictures I make sure that subjects are aware of my intent and that my style of documentary photography does not lend to me asking each and every person "... for their permission ...". What I did not say, is that, people always expact for black men to explan to them what they (the black men) are doing.

And then, they would proceed to follow me, through the streets. And as many others -photographing me ... photographing. Policing, overseeing and watching me. The way folks do - when see black men! Watching to see where I focus my camera and run up to me, on a bicylcle, and ask about drugs. So, it is perfectly acceptable for them to photograph me, secretly, but not not for me to photograph ... the way that I do.

I wanted to explan to the white man that, as a black male, I do not enjoy such freedoms. And that as a 53 year old gay black male, who practiced integration ... in sharp contrast to my white lovers, white friends, white tricks, white acquaintances, white colleagues, white peers ... I have less freedoms now than I had in 1963 when Martin Luther King Jr. marched onto Washington DC.

When explaining in a telephone conversation the meaning behind my new year afffirmation of "Deliver Me / Progression" I'd reiterate that it has to with the fact that in order to move move forward (progress) one must know the truth of his past (deliver me) and that as a black man one of the ways that another can affect my progression is to have spent their entire lives in a relataionship with me that was based on lies and untruths. And the policing and overseeing of me. Watching my every move. And waiting for me to exhale. Or to ejaculate!