notes from a drifting consciousness

State: I feel normal-sad a lot of the time, but I really seem to be losing track of how long it's been between things happening. It's hard to know what feelings are justified and what's just getting upset over nothing. I don't feel sad about my dad, just sad, and volatile in other ways sometimes, and not enjoying things I should. Currently investigating therapy, because I actually do have a lot to cope with and not a lot of wherewithal. (Plus, really no experience with making things happen despite long-term depression. Normally I watch a movie and make cookie dough and go to sleep, and feel better in the morning.)

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I'm disappointed that the web site doesn't list the name of the opening bassist, since he was absolutely the best part of that act. Dietrich Strause definitely has musicianship going for him, but rushthatspeaks and I agreed that we would not admit him to Bardic Collegium on the strength of his composition, and unfortunately his voice sounds a whole lot like a bunch of bland top-40 singers. The songs that were really enjoyable were the ones where the bassist got solos (though, to Strause's credit, they totally knew that and went for it a lot). In summary, they should really name the band, because it's not all about Strause.

Great Lake Swimmers: great. Playing "Your Rocky Spine" in a rollicking way instead of a haunting one was (1) not that big a change in sound somehow and (2) a peculiar feeling despite pretty much working. The encore was them coming down onto the floor with everyone for a one-song sing-along, really fun.

-----The Lyman Estate had a spring herb sale, and I wanted to check out volunteering there. Well, I got many excellent plants, or which all but one have prospered, but their volunteers at present are all Master Gardeners. Fair enough, and actually it's definitely a car trip to get out there, so never mind.

I did get dittany of Crete for rushthatspeaks, because I don't know but they really needed dittany of Crete okay. Come to find out it's a traditional courting gift. I am pretty sure I didn't know that?

-----Big tax refund this year, decided I could spend less than 10% on something fun instead of just paying things off. Got a Wacom tablet (Bamboo Fun) on ebay. Loving it. Lots of fun playing with Photoshop's brush tools. I don't have a lot of time to finish up this accent I'm working on for the next festival in dragon game, but it's making me pretty happy to try.

-----Currently growing basil and ancho chile seedlings indoors. Their cuteness is very motivating. The artichokes I mail-ordered are doing well outdoors, too, making new leaves and everything. And baby nasturtiums are coming up! No sign of the carrot or chard seedlings as yet, but the tomato plants are quite happy and the Ichiban eggplants seem to be recovering from shipping. This rainstorm should give them all a good soaking.

-----When rushthatspeaks and gaudior and I went to the Arboretum on Mother's Day for Lilac Sunday, it was too hot and sunny. During the part where I almost got heatstroke waiting to place an order at a poorly-managed food truck for half an hour, it didn't even occur to me to be grateful that there were no mosquitoes. Why would there be, it's midday in May? (I laid down and eventually was given bites of ice cream, complete recovery.)

Totally different scene last Saturday at Blue Hills Reservation. Poorly marked trails didn't help, since the deer path we wound up on after toiling up the mysterious paved road led to the deer's likely watering hole, a scummy stagnant thing at this season. There were mosquitoes once we got on the regular trail, though, too. They were unacceptable enough that we retreated rather sooner than we'd meant to.

Before that, though, we found that there was a tiny zoo. It was kind of awful in the way of zoos, but we got to see a young bald eagle taking a bath, which was adorable. (One of the turkey vultures in the next cage was standing nearby to disdain this activity more pointedly.) Also, wtf surprise zoo.