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forgiveness

Most people struggle with lust from time to time. We all aren’t so overcome by it that we have violated anyone else. But, with so much “eye candy” presented to us in every form of media, we are all guilty of thoughts and actions that we are ashamed of. Of course, we Christians are quick to say, “Just Take It To Jesus And Pray.” And this is the ultimate solution to our struggle with impure sexual thoughts, words, and actions. But, our Lord also gives us forerunners who have struggled with and overcame the same sins which besiege us today as there is nothing new under the sun. Among such great men and women who have been transformed by the power of repentance and forgiveness is Mary of Egypt.

St. Mary of Egypt

Mary was a sex addict. She gave into lust at the age of 12. In her story to the monk/priest Zosimas, she wasn’t forced into prostitution or the victim of rape or incest. She just loved sex and would give herself simply for pleasure and not money. After some 17 years of her shameless behavior, she joined a group of pilgrims sailing from Egypt to Jerusalem to venerate the Holy Cross. She used her body to pay her fare constantly tempting men to have their way with her.

When she came to the church, she sought to enter. Time and time again, she was blocked by an invisible force. She realized that the force was her own sinful lifestyle that kept her from entering the church. She grieved deeply at this revelation. Seeing an icon of the Theotokos, Mary repented of her lustfulness promising that if she were allowed to worship at the Cross that she would no longer live in her sexual exploits. After her prayer, she was able to walk into the church and worship.

Mary made good on her promise. She crossed the Jordan River and went into the desert with nothing more than three loaves of bread and the clothes on her back. Led by the Holy Spirit, she lived in the desert for 47 years repenting of her sins. This was no easy feat. The thoughts of her former pleasures tormented her. The desire for meats, wine, and other things also tempted her to leave the desert. Yet, she constantly prayed in deep humility and tears to be free from her lust. It took some 17 years of struggles to be free from her sexual addiction and lust.

Fr. Zosimas giving the Eucharist to Mary

It wasn’t until she met Zosimas in the desert that she even saw and spoke to another person. By that time, her clothing was completely gone and he gave her his outer robe to cover her. He saw the holiness of her story and her prayers. The following year, he was able to give her the Eucharist. The year after that, Mary was found dead.

Mary shows us that sexual immorality keeps us from the fullness of Christ. Oh, we may still go to church and worship. We may even make excuses for what we do. “They were just pictures. I was born this way. We are in love, so it’s okay.” Let’s stop fooling ourselves. The sexually immoral will have no part in the kingdom of God. Mary shows us that our repentance must be serious. Casually saying, “well, the Lord knows my heart,” is not enough. There should be a deep sorrow for what we have done and a serious commitment to change our ways. Mary shows us that our struggle against sin is not always over in an instant. Some addictions are stubborn to leave us and can only be overcome by (as our Lord taught His disciples) by prayer and fasting. And indeed, fasting should be a part of the life of the faithful. By following Mary’s example of following Christ, we can overcome even the worst of our sexual sins and live in purity.

The icon of St. Mary of Egypt at St. Basil the Great Antiochian Orthodox Church in Hampton

Oh Lord and King, grant me the grace to be aware of my sins and not to judge my brother and sister …

From the Lenten Prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian

As with most men, lust is a problem that I struggle with. In today’s society, it is tolerated as long as one keeps his hands to himself. In fact, lust is expected, celebrated, and used for commercial purposes (Hooters, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and the like). The ease in which one can access the most abusive and cruel forms of pornography on the internet makes this sin even more dangerous. Since taking up the journey toward Orthodoxy, I have put aside my worst manifestations of this sin. Yet, I still succumbed to my eyes and imagination more times that I wish to count or share.

This Lent, I have made it a special point to refrain from such wicked imaginations. I tell myself that if an Orthodox married man refrains from touching his wife during the fast, what gives me the right to fantasize being with any woman. My wife suffers from both Bipolar Disorder and Multiple Sclerosis. Thus, lust has been a great burden on me. But, I went into the fast believing that God will deliver me from this chronic problem.

A necessary part of the spiritual healing process is to be made fully aware of one’s sin. By indulging in lust, I separate myself from the greatest icon I have in my home. My wife is my greatest icon for Christ counts Himself with the lowly and afflicted:

‘In as much as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 25:40)

The other icons I have in my home, if I ignore or misuse them, that would be bad enough. They are man-made widows into heaven. In fact, I can change windows and move them around as I see fit without any consequences. But, how many times have I ignored, shut out, been angry with, neglected, and belittled my wife desiring someone else? How many times have I failed to pray for, pray with, and show affection for my wife? Again, since being on the Orthodox journey, I have improved. Praying for her, struggling against my passions, and offering the Lenten Prayer has broken me to see how far I have fallen and how far I have to go. What I have done to her, I have done to Jesus. What I do to her, I do to Jesus. No wonder Paul advises us to “Work out your salvation in fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).

It is no wonder why the Early Fathers (some date back to Irenaeus for this tradition) prescribed the 40 day Lenten Fast. Once when we are broken by the awareness of our fallen state, it takes time to be moulded into useful vessels of the Gospel. Orthodoxy calls for fasting throughout the year to help remind us that we are still a work in progress. In the Trisagion Prayers, we constantly ask for the mercy of the Holy Trinity. The Jesus Prayer underscores the fact that we are to be the tax collector and not the Pharisee (Luke 18:10-14). In the Ancient Faith, confession is a sacrament before God with the priest as a witness in the body of Christ as well as a private act. And that we begin the fast with Forgiveness Vespers where we all ask each other, including the priest and bishops present, to forgive our sins.

I am broken as I have seen and understand that I have not been a good husband nor as good as others think I am. It is not my place to compare myself to other men. I will be judged on my actions, words, and THOUGHTS (Matthew 5:27-30). I acknowledge my broken state. I have faith in the healing process. I have hope that the Lord will restore my wife. I have hope that He will restore me for her according to His will.

Trying not to be judgemental and upset about the terrible things that happen in this world is nearly impossible, at least for me. The Stubenville rape case and the pornographic society that gave birth to it makes me angry. I know too many rape survivors. I have read the horrible stats of how often it happens. And the abusive nature of today’s porn only makes things worse. I ranted a little bit on my Facebook page and was about to go ballistic on this blog. But, a friend put me in check. Then, I opened Philippians 2:14-16 and was further convicted:

Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, sot that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.

I am reminded of my wife’s Grandfather, Rev. Carter Wicks, constantly telling people, “don’t worry and don’t hurry.” My grandparents, Joe and Dinah Gresham, likewise had a steady and quiet faith about them. I know things would make them angry and upset from time to time. But, they never let it seem to get the best of them. They were too busy aiming their lives to a better world than this one.

Yesterday and this morning, I prayed the words of St Ephraim the Syrian. Apparently, I forgot what I prayed. How sorry I am for my forgetfulness. It is only the third day. I will build my memory in my heart and soul as well as mind.

Oh Lord, Master of my life, keep me from the spirit of indifference, and discouragement, lust of power, and idle chatter

(prostration)

Instead, grant to me, your servant, the Spirit of wholeness of being, humble-mindedness, patience, and love

(prostration)

Oh Lord and King, Grant me the grace to be aware of my sins and not to judge my brother and sister, for you are blessed now and forever, Amen.

(prostration)

The Lenten Prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian

St. Ephraim the Syrian

There is alot to judge in this world. Two teenage boys were convicted of rape. A man was banned from a library system for masturbating in public. These are just two of the troublesome crimes that I heard about today. It is easy to throw stones at people who commit such crimes of selfishness and lack of control.

And yet, St. Ephraim’s words call out to us in such situations. No doubt, he must have read or heard the words of Jesus:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. (Matthew 7:1, 2)

I have never gotten a teenager drunk and had sex with her. Nor have I committed a lewd act in a public place. But, the log in my eye is my log. I have no responsibility over what is in my brother’s or sister’s eye no matter how shameful it is. My log is separating me from seeing the fullness of God. Without this vision, how can I guide others to free themselves when I am still in chains? The legal system did what it was supposed to do in both cases. But, my Spiritual development must also be in effect for my salvation. I must have hope that these boys will learn from their tragic error and become agents of healing for violated women. I must hope that the other man will see the greater good in pleasing God and others rather than himself.

I must also see myself as no better than they are. Who is to say that under the same conditions that I wouldn’t have done likewise? Who is to say I wouldn’t do worse? Like them, I struggle with lust, selfishness, and shamelessness. Certainly, the potential is there for me to do likewise. Thus, rather than gloat over what they are about to suffer, St. Ephraim’s words bring me to a place of being aware of my own potential for evil.

The elements of human wickedness are indifference, discouragement, lust of power, and idle chatter. With these, any man can be brought down. Yet, there are God-given elements that elevate our souls and keep us from committing evil acts; wholeness, humble-mindedness, patience, and love. The key to rejecting the former and dwelling in the later is awareness of the sins we have done and forgiving others as we wish to be forgiven.

I have been made aware of my failures. I am sorry for my sins. May this Lenten prayer be made manifest in me.

If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”

John 20:23

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I John 1:9

I spent my final day of vacation from Trinity Baptist by visiting another Orthodox Church. Today, it was St. Basil the Great Antiochian in Poquoson. Poquoson is one of few places in Virginia east of I-95 I had never been to. I never had much of a reason to. The little bit of town that I did see seemed to be a nice bedroom community. I didn’t visit the communities of the legendary “Bull Islander” watermen. The next time I do, I will make it a point to buy some good fresh seafood. But, today was all about worship at the church of the St. Philip’s Prayer Discipline. About 20 years ago, the Antiochians opened their doors to some 2,000 Evangelical Christians giving them Chrismation into the Orthodox faith.

Even before the Divine Liturgy, I was struck by the deep spirituality of the ancient faith. During the 9:15 Matins service, the priest, Fr. James Purdie, gave the sacrament of Confession to any who would come forward. Yes, Confession. A few (churches aren’t packed at one hour prayer services where there is more standing than sitting) people, in turn, came up to the icon of the Theotokos, whispered their confession to Fr. James. He then whispered back and they seemed to be in a conversation inaudible to the rest of the congregation. Then he placed a portion of his priestly vestment over the person’s head and proclaimed their sin. The forgiven believer kisses the icon, makes the sign of the cross, and takes their place back in the congregation prepared to receive the Eucharist (Communion).

Now, I can hear my fellow Baptist turn their noses up in disdain. “You ain’t gotta do all that to repent. Jesus knows your heart. All you got to do say is, “Lord, I’m sorry. Please forgive me in Jesus Name. Amen.” And there was a time in our rural congregations that a young lady that was pregnant or had a child out-of-wedlock had to repent before the whole church before she could take communion again, change membership to another church, or get married. Rarely did the guy she slept with have to go through such an ordeal and many other sins didn’t require such a process. So, the way it was practiced, confession was unfair (especially since some ministers and deacons were known womanizers) and burdensome. As more and more children were being born out-of-wedlock, the sacrament seemed to be a hindrance to church attendance.

Yet, there is something to be said for the accountability, humility, and trust that I saw today. Not that every sin needs to be confessed to a priest in Orthodoxy. But, he is the spiritual Father of the congregation and is responsible for giving the body and blood of Christ in the Eucharist. So, if one is troubled by a serious or recurring wrong, he or she has the responsibility to let the priest know of this and repent with the priest offering an understanding ear, encouragement, and practical solution to the sin as well as a proclamation that the sin is forgiven. To come and confess one’s sin is a sign of humility and spiritual maturity. That one doesn’t play off his or her missing the mark as something to be nonchalantly brushed aside in private or in some little box in a corner. Orthodox confession is done where people cannot hear what is being said, but they know that something is being said and forgiveness is proclaimed. It takes courage and a sense of trust in one’s priest and church family that the confession will not be material for gossip and speculation. If I had to leave before the Divine Liturgy, Matins and the Confessions were enough for me to praise God for.

“So Rev., are you trying to say we ought to have confession in the Baptist church?” I am not sure how it can be introduced or reintroduced. Nor do I dare say that all is perfect among the Orthodox with this sacrament. But, let us consider what we have in our lack of a sacrament of Confession. We are accountable to no one. I don’t have to tell pastor nothing. All he is supposed to do is visit grandma in the nursing home and get his shout on so I can pat my foot and feel good about myself. We are not humble. We would rather talk about how “blessed and highly favored,” we are than to express any sort of public humility. And we continue to perpetuate an atmosphere of mistrust by not having the courage to trust. And if pastors aren’t challenged with the responsibility to forgive sins, they can be tempted to be irresponsible with their own sins. We can put on great performances of “whooping” sermons and “sanging” choirs and soloist. But without accountability, humility, and trust in the body of Christ; we are missing something in our walk with the Lord that is far more valuable than cultural expressiveness.

I don’t know. I will work on the Sunday School lesson and my sermon this week and be back serving at Trinity next Sunday. Maybe I should keep silent and just chalk this up as a “grass looks greener on the other side of the fence” episode. Or, perhaps the Lord will bless me (or someone else) with a way to explain Confession so that my fellow Baptist can understand it’s value even if they don’t agree to do it. And if we want to do it, how do we bring such a sacrament to a church that doesn’t even see Communion as a sacrament?

Let me confess. As soon as I got my Orthodox Study Bible, I immediately started using the Morning and Evening Prayers without asking any questions. Common sense should have told me to, at least, look up what the word Trisagion meant. This probably isn’t a smart move. It helps to do some reasearch behind the words one uses before using them. A lot of people fall into false doctrine over repeating stuff they heard, seen, or read without doing any other background investigation. Fortunately, I came to find the Trisagion to be in line with the scriptures and sound in doctrine as I made it a part of my prayer life. But, I will strive not to leap before looking and advise others to refrain from jumping too soon as well.

One thing that lead me to pray the Trisagion (follow along with the link) is that part of it is the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 5:9-13, Luke 112-4) that I grew up with. If Jesus taught us to pray these words, then why not use them. Granted, everything in scripture should not be taken too literally. But, the words of the prayer allow us to put God in his proper perspective, calls us to seek his will, directs us in our petitions, calls us to repentance, ask for His protection, and (through the Biblical embellishment) concludes by giving Him the glory and praise. The Trisagion ends with this bedrock of Biblical prayer.

The first movement of the prayer is an invocation. We are to approach God with a calmed spirit, acknowledging Him in His fullness and giving him glory. With the right approach to God, we then call for his presence. Please note that as well as giving him acknowledgement of his essence, we are inviting him into ourselves. That’s right, we want God to dwell inside of us. It is too easy for us to take for granted that we have the Holy Spirit inside of us and have Jesus in our hearts. Let us be mindful that “Many are called, but few are chosen” (Matthew 22:14). We are responsible for “working out our salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12). As none of us who are alive are in heaven, it makes sense for us to ask for our ultimate salvation.

Also note that repentance is a part of this invocation. The call for repentance is underscored by repeating the basic Trisagion Prayer three times:

Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us

All three Synoptic Gospels teach that the first thing Jesus commanded us to do after his trial in the desert was to “Repent and believe in the Gospel” (Mark 1:15). After giving glory to the fullness of God, we are led into humble repentance as the second movement of the Trisagion.To offer up our regular prayers without repentance is arrogant and inexcusable! In an impromptu moment of great stress or suffering, such an omission is tolerable. But, when we enter into our regular morning, noon, or evening prayers, repentance is essential. We do not go to God as if we are sinless. The Apostle Paul wisely repeats the words of the Psalmist, “There is none righteous, no not one” (Romans 3:10, Psalm 13:3 Orthodox Study Bible, Psalm 14:3 Western translations). Let us remember that if we repent, God is merciful to forgive us. As a reminder that we must also forgive others if we seek forgiveness, the last movement of the Trisagion is the Lord’s Prayer.

Why do I find this prayer necessary? The Trisagion is a perfect series of prayers to calm down my mind and spirit for prayer. I wake up in the morning groggy, hungry, and wondering if Liverpool FC will win their next match. In the afternoon, my work duties clog my mind. I get home, I am thinking about dinner and what I have to do at the church. And at night, sleep. This is the prayer that helps me put all other things aside and all of my other prayers in focus. The written prayers make more sense. My personal prayers are more settled. C’mon, I irritate people when I rush to them with babble and dribble. God is forgiving and merciful. But, just as I prefer to approach people in a calm and orderly fashion, why shouldn’t I do the same for the One we serve?

I encourage all of my Catholic and Protestant friends to pray the Trisagion. This pattern of prayer has lasted longer than our denominations have been in existence. I believe if you use it as part of your regular quiet time for a week, you will see how valuable it is and not pray without it. And to my Orthodox friends, don’t take this precious jewel of a prayer for granted. Cherish the beauty and power of the Trisagion and share it with others.

A: That I am a devout seeker of God’s will. This seeking has led me to seriously study Orthodox Christianity. I admire the history, spirituality, and tradition of the ancient faith and have incorporated many of its practices in my daily walk. Orthodoxy has a lot to offer us and I share what I can in line with the Baptist faith. Other than that, I love my congregation dearly and feel embarrassingly blessed to serve them on Sundays and everyday.

Why did you choose to be the pastor of the church?

I don’t think I had a choice. God called me and Trinity’s pastoral search committee asked me not to go anywhere else. I was hijacked (lol)! But, I have always known of the faith and love at Trinity when Rev. James Carter was there. I grew up in Baptist Liberty and often worshiped and worked with members of Trinity in PBA and BGC events. So, I had a good idea of the congregation I would inherit (if it were God’s will). When Rev. Carter retired, there was nothing negative about his legacy and service. Good leadership was already in place. All I had (and still have) to do is serve and serve well to be accepted as the pastor.

What is one of the advantages of being the pastor?

“Ah-Ha” moments that result in changed lives. When a person takes hold of something that I said in a sermon, lesson, or even a cook-out, and grows from it. Sometimes they happen as soon the word is preached. Sometimes they take longer. But, to God’s glory, they happen. In the meantime, I have to find joy in just planting and watering seeds. The ultimate harvest belongs to God, not myself.

What is one of the disadvantages of being the pastor?

That’s an odd question. As Christians on a whole, we are supposed to count all things as a joy. I hate making mistakes. I do struggle with procrastination. It hurts to see the results of such failures. But, with spiritual discipline, these things can be overcome as all things work out toward the glory of God.

Why is the Holy Spirit so important to the body of Christ?

Another odd question. The Holy Spirit is, in the words of the early church fathers, “the Lord and Giver of Life, Who proceeds from the Father, Who with the Father and the Son together is worshiped and glorified” (Nicene Creed). No Holy Spirit = no Trinity = no Christianity. The Spirit comes to us from the Father to us and reminds us of the ways of the Son.

If you were the “PBA Preacher for the Month” and all churches gathered in your sanctuary – what would you preach about?

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24). I fear that too many people today turn to Jesus to get stuff. True discipleship means giving stuff up and taking up suffering for the sake of something better. He is that something better.

How do you explain “The Trinity” to your congregation?

The baptism of Jesus is probably the best. “When He had been baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove alighting upon Him. And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:16, 17).

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life.” How is this being done in your church?

Other than our regular Sunday School program, I give a very brief children’s sermon 3 out of 4 Sundays (I don’t do it youth (2nd) Sunday as I try to make the sermon oriented to them). My children’s sermons are stories I make up based on the main sermon. The kids feel included in the “grown up” service and it is a good prelude to the message.

Can you tell about an experience of God’s presence showing up in your congregation that was very powerful and overwhelming?

It shows up in all of our services in one form or another. One time that truly moved me was a few years back when a friend of one of our members was shot in a hunting accident. A few of the members called me and asked if we could have a special prayer service to ask God to heal him. I don’t remember a lot of shouting and all. But, the flow of compassion and concern for this young man who wasn’t a part of our flock was wonderful. Days later, he was released from the hospital. Our compassionate prayers were answered as we wished. It was a bit foolish of me not to keep such prayer services going.

What is more important in your life than you?

The spread of the Gospel of Jesus Christ on earth through love, truth, and spirit.

Write the word that comes to mind when you see these words. (Feel free to answer as many as you like)

Pressure – life in general Personal Sacrifice – self-discipline

Rejection – preserver Loneliness – maintain hope

Popularity – fickle Pride – dangerous

Disqualification – restoration Jealousy – unnecessary

Faithful – discipleship Inspirational – Holy Spirit

Trustworthy – truth Approachable – Jesus Christ

Forgiving – merciful Self-discipline – lifestyle

Decision Maker – wise Qualified – God decides

Successful Leader – by who’s standard? Motivator – self through love

Assuming Responsibility – difficult but necessary Follower – disciple

Are there any final words you would like to share with me?

Thomas gave a great description of what Christian discipleship is about in John 11:16, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” To follow Jesus means being willing to put a lot of things about us at risk. No, it means putting ourselves at risk. Our dreams, goals, ideals, perceptions, preconceived ideas, traditions, and even our lives are to be placed as unimportant in comparison to being in the presence of God. Sometimes this risk leads to an obvious happy ending (as in the resurrection of Lazarus and Jesus). Sometimes the happiness is indirect and leads to a greater glory (as in the case of the stoning of Stephen with Saul consenting in Acts 7:55-60). Nevertheless, the risk must be taken. I pray for the courage to take it.

“And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ I tell you this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Before they ever heard of the Jesus Prayer or could read anything in English, the slaves in America cried out, moaned, and sang the most profound of all Negro Spirituals:

Oh Lord, have mercy

Oh Lord, have mercy

Oh Lord, have mercy

Have mercy Lord, have mercy Lord on me

It was the song of the whipping post, sexual assault, auction block, and tobacco field. They didn’t know why they were going through such a horror. The way the slave masters taught about God was wrong. The slaves had sense enough to know that somewhere there was a God of mercy. If they sought Him with their whole lives in the midst of their anguish, He would answer them. This Negro Spiritual continued through the days of Jim Crow. With growing aspirations in the face of burning crosses and segregating signs, the prayer was still prominent on our lips as it came from the depths of our experience. The youngest child memorized it quicker than the alphabet. Seasoned saints remembered it if they forgot everything else.

Those dreadful days of our fathers and great grandmothers will not rise again, Praise the Lord! And yet as we have moved from slave cabin to share cropper shack to nice house to the White House, we have lost a part of the prayer. No, all of the words are still there. But the depth and meaning of the prayer, I fear, has been lost in the complacency of progress and the antics of our modern worship.

Are these words even mentioned in our churches anymore? And if so, how much weight do we put on them? Are these words spoken in our prayer closets? Wait, do we even go into our prayer closets and expose ourselves to the merciful God as we were once exposed to unmerciful racist? And if this simple song/prayer way good enough for the ancestors who endured the absolute worst conditions, isn’t it good enough for we who live in a far better world?

Listening to a lecture from Sub Deacon Paul Abernathy, he challenged a conference of mostly Afro-American Orthodox believers to live their faith with the same tenacity of the early church fathers such as Saints Anthony, Athanasius, and Moses. For we who are not Orthodox Christians, we can certainly look at the prayer lives of those who were in bondage and second class citizenship and imitate them. Pray from the depths of spirit and sufferings, not simply for the stuff of this world. Pray in deep humility, and not as if we deserve anything. In the words of our Lord, “This man went down to his house justified … he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Let us return to the prayer life of those who were before us.

Then God said, ‘Let us make man in Our image, according to our likeness, … .’ So God mad man. in the image of God He made him; male and female He made them.

Genesis 1:26, 27

How foolish I am! How can I venerate and give honor to the saints on the wall and not show like love to the person on the street? How dare I honor the Holy Theotokos and harbor lust for the girl I did not marry?

What is a holy icon but a window and portrait of God’s greater glory? Was it not by the hand of the painter that we have these windows? Perhaps by the skill of a wood-carver and other craftsmen that we possess such items as reminders of the love of our Lord?

And yet God made the perfect icon when he made men and women. In his image and likeness we are fearfully and wonderfully made. With his breath of life we are all living souls. Here is the icon I should honor and kiss in holiness. Here is the image I should hold as evidence of God’s compassion and mercy.

Yet this is the icon that I hold in contempt. I suspect it a thief and liar. I condemn it for its flaws and imperfections. I abuse it as a toy only fit for my pleasure and whims. This icon which was not made by a man’s hands. This image of God and made by God. This likeness of which I am. I am their brother and I have shown them fear, hate, and lust.

Lord, have mercy! Lord, have mercy! Lord, have mercy! I am the chief of all sinners!

Forgive my calloused thoughts and harsh words toward my fellow-man. May the power of the Holy Spirit cleanse my heart and mind of wicked desires. Let me hold high the value of each man, woman, boy, and girl. We are the icons that you made. Let us honor and love one another as such.