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Tuesday, 20 December 2011

The Great Leader

The Great Batsman advising the umpire that his forward defensive pushwas worth 5 runs

North Korean cricketers woke to the news that the innings of the Great Batsman Kim Jong-il had come to a close. Fans had come to believe that Kim Jong Il, Korea's dominant batsman, and by decree their only batsman, would stay at the crease forever. His innings started in 1994 and had seen remarkably few scoring shots. There seemed no prospect of any umpire giving an LBW decision or a catch behind to dismiss him. The secret police ensured that fielders were unlikely to appeal for such dismissals. However Jong-il's middle stump was finally uprooted on Sunday with no chance of a no ball being called. Korean cricketers went into ritual mourning in memory of the Great Batsman's stroke play, despite reports that his obsessive occupation of the crease had led to a severe decline in the standard of teas in the country.

Little is known about the next batsman to come to the crease, Kim Jong-un. He has yet to play any First Class match and his bowling action has yet to be confirmed. There is therefore now great uncertainty in the cricketing world as to whether N Korea will continue with its highly restrictive approach to the game, which has been based a bowling attack relying on nuclear missiles for away fixtures and repressive policing for home games, or whether it will seek new fixtures and improve the quality of wickets and the standard of teas.