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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

While I agree that cake makes even bad news at least a little sweeter, there's still a right and a wrong way to break some news.

This is why fortune tellers should never become bakers.

[on the phone] "No, of course we're not celebrating that you didn't get parole, Trish; there's a frowny face on your cake and everything!"

Why, yes, that IS a used pregnancy test on the cake.(And you thought I'd never post it!)

"People, I have some good news, and I have some bad news. The good news: This is our last all-day staff meeting! Yeah!

"The bad news: We're going out of business because we can't afford the mortgage any longer.

"But wait! There's more good news: we have a cake."

"Oh, and more bad news: they spelled 'mortgage' wrong. Still, if one of you can get this baker fired and then take his or her job, then that's actually good news, right? Right? Guys? Where are you going? Hey, at least leave me a slice of cake! C'mon!"

Alicia A., Natalie H., Anony M., & Morganna B. were recognized as "Wreckporters of the Day" this morning in a brief online ceremony. Sadly, they received no cake.

just how exactly do they know it is poor Patrice's last birthday? are they planning a murder? yikes.

and don't you have to dip the preg test in urine to make it work? so there is urine on the cake? Bleck.

the misspelling of mortgage is hilarious. so, they failed to pay the mortgage? hence, this is a cake celebrating a foreclosure? wow. what next? cake for failure to graduate? how about failure to lose weight---I could go for that cake now. Has anyone used actual chocolate bunnies to decorate a cake?? I got chocolate bunnies half price at Target after Easter...purchased my first ever bunny fairy. what will they think of next? wouldn't it be fun to put a chocolate bunny on a hot cake and have a semi-melted bunny on a cake??

I remember a Dairy Queen commercial where the narrator speculates about offering "cakes for all occasions" because their ice cream cakes sell so well. One of the hypothetical cakes we see says "Parole Denied." In the end he says, "Nah, let's just stick with happy occasions" or something.

Never thought it would be a useful moral.

Also, "Mortage Fail" is not only misspelled but it's in Internet-speak. Makes me wonder if it was meant to celebrate a business rival's downfall or something.

Not all tests have to be dipped in urine, some you take a dropped and use that in a window, which is what that one looked like. That being said, EWWWW! I've seen a lot of different ways to celebrate a pregnancy, but this one takes the cake....LOL! I feel bad for everyone who was offered a piece of that.

"Has anyone used actual chocolate bunnies to decorate a cake?? I got chocolate bunnies half price at Target after Easter..."

Perhaps snap off their ears and stick them on top of the cake like they are coming out of a rabbit hole. Of course that would create even more questions about what on earth is that sticking up, but at least you would have a submission for Cake Wrecks. Use the remainder to shave on top as "dirt". Perhaps some jelly beans around the border. Okay, please stop me now.

Oh, I agree, this is one of the best posts ever!! And the pee cake... OMG! I have to say, if I saw something like that in my office I would prob keep quiet just to see if anyone else noticed.... then say someting at the last minute. ROFLMHO

Some of the cakes I've seen on CW are downright disgusting, some are indecent, some are clearly unsanitary, but putting something that has actually been peed on atop a cake crosses some kind of line that hasn't been crossed before.

The question I would have asked, oh a year or so ago, about a web site devoted to wrecked cakes would be, "Won't you run out of material pretty soon?" I now see, Jen and John, that that is the least of your worries.

Hi. This is Mrs. Johnson and I ordered the "parole" cake. Could you possibly add the word "No" on it before I pick it up in about an hour? Thanks. You don't think that it's too much cake for 14 people is it? I mean, we originally planned for 15...

Please tell me I'm not the ONE soul in the world who thinks that the chain store cake (while functional and utilitarian) could use a few (hundred) lessons in aesthetics? Sort of a "What Not to Wear" for cakes? I'm just so weary of the status quo, sad, mass market BORINGNESS...Look at that coupling of a bloody-dark-angry tomato paste red with a misty~happy~cool pale pink. They look HORrible together!! And those greens... ¡Ay, caramba! Surely, if they tried at all, they could find SOMEthing other than "Darkest Dusky Mold", or "John Deere Green" for these *festive* things. ((SIGH)) Cakes *want* to make people happy...

Too funny!! The parole cake reminds me of a when a coworker brought in a huge "Welcome home from jail" cake they had bought for her brother who's parole ended up being revoked. Instead of wasting the cake, she brought it into work. I think I would have at least smeared the message off of it first!

I've seen the pee cake before...a year ago or so on a message board. It was a hit then and I see it's making the rounds again. The person who claimed to have made the cake was a cake- fruit cake. Did you partake in that board?? Just curious.

I have been asked if I would put a used pregnancy test on a cake. I'm not sure how I managed to keep a straight face, but I offered to sculpt one out of fondant instead. Still not the best idea in my opinion, but at least it was food-safe.

Aside from the questionable-ness of using a pregnancy test strip on the cake (ick), what is with all the bakeries putting curled ribbon on your frosting? And in the case of this cake, it looks like it's got the little cardboard thingy for sticking it on your package. Operative word--package. Actual ribbons are for packages.Other than that, the other cakes are great--as long as I am not the designated cakee.

How the heck did people celebrate a pregnancy before home tests? With a dead rabbit on a cake? And why don't people understand we'd be a lot happier for them if they just let us take their word for it? I'm just seeing this cake as the evidence of two fools spawning, because if they'll eat this cake and try to serve it to others, God only knows what they'll let that poor child put in its mouth.

1. The failure of an individual or company2. The failure of someone who doesn't know the WRONG occasions to order cake3. The failure of a baker for not laughing said "someones" out the door and actually putting pregnancy sticks on cakes.

@Ruby Reveles and Gary:Totally was thinking the same thing! "Better make it the half sheet. Chocolate cake with buttercream frosting, and can you bake something in there, like a file or a saw? I'll bring it in and everything. Just put it on the diagonal, that's fine"

Oh gross who on earth would want to put a used pregnancy test on a cake? What a good way to have me run out of the room screaming. And that first one would make me laugh then quietly call my doctor just in case.. if I ever had a cake like that I would probably send it back lol.

There's a slice in the Happy Last Birthday cake, so they actually bought it! Maybe Patrice had cancer or something and they wanted to remind her to be positive. Therefore, cake. Cake is very positive. I don't think the pregnancy stick is actually on the cake. I zoomed in and it looks like it's really on top of the plastic container. I can't believe someone would actually put it anywhere near the cake at all.

You have no idea how hilarious the parole cake is to me. My mother-in-law used to be a parole officer and her name is Trish.I'll have to keep this gem of a thought tucked away for the next big family get together. It will comfort me when things inevitabley turn "special".-Jill

Again trying to figure out the WHY? Aside from the obvious spelling mistake on the Mortgage Fail cake.

I'm thinking it was not a foreclosure but rather someone paid off their mortgage EARLY. Killed the debt ( bank name on the tomb stone) The FAIL comes from the mortgage company failing to get their hands on all that extra interest.

There really are cakes for all occasions! I love your blog. In a world of blogs on how to make the prettiest cake, yours is truly unique. I'm thoroughly enjoying looking at all of the cakes. Thanks for sharing.

Patrice probably had one of those 'milestone' birthdays that end in '9'. One hopes.

#3 If you look carefully, you will see the *cover* on the *cookie*. The cover is reflecting at the very top but not elsewhere because of the low angle. The tester is on the cover. Did anyone else's appetite return on noticing that detail?

#4 Has to be celebrating the demise of a competitor, probably a 'mortage' company. The motif would make somewhat more sense if it turned out that 'mortage' is a new euphemism for 'funeral home'.

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