Football's back! Football's back! And you've got me for the first game of the season. Sorry about that.

I'm actually feeling pathetically excited about the new season. All in all it's been a rather disappointing summer of sport elsewhere and you can't help but be intrigued by this year's Premier League after an aggressive summer's spending from so many teams. Plus Svennis is back, and we all know that can only end in "hilarious consequences".

Super sexy Saturday sports! Before I get on to our game I really must tell you about our ramped up weekend coverage here at GU. Or my boss will beat me. As well as our usual tip-top over-by-over cricket coverage - today featuring England getting hammered by India, we'll now be doing a Premier League clockwatch every Saturday, as minute-by-minutes of pretty much every game going. Tom Lutz will be along later this afternoon to bring you Aston Villa v Liverpool.

More pluggery Plus you really should sign up for our shiny new free predictions game Pick the Score. How else will you prove once and for all how much more than us you know about football?

A real preamble Right, I haven't actually got much time for this now. Should be an interesting game mind - time to find out whether Royston Keane really is an inspirational enough manager to somehow trick Nyron Nosworthy into playing like a top-flight footballer. Personally I've called this one as a 2-0 win for Tottenham. If they really want to push on this season and challenge the Big Four - and I think they will - then they're going to need a strong start. The new additions will help but I think above all I think it will be the returning players, who have now had the chance to gel after taking a while to get used to each other last season, who drive them forward. Dimitar Berbatov and Didier Zokora both took a while to hit their stride last term but became key performers as the year went on.

Email lovin' "Thank youuuu!" blares Tarek Hamzeh, a touch over-excited after scoring the first email of the new season. "Thank you for having a MBM commentary today. I'm stuck in an office in Saudi with nothing to do and nowhere to watch a Premier League game. I agree that Sven will make the Premier League a tad more interesting, though not from a competitive point of view of course."

1 min Tottenham get us underway with a little nudge from Jermaine Jenas to Robbie Keane.

3 mins Plenty of energy, if a little less quality in the opening exchanges. Keane wallops a ball into Dean Whitehead's face and off for a throw-in before an underhit back-pass from Anthony Gardner has Anthony Stokes chasing somewhat hopefully, and the Sunderland fans roaring for no good reason.

4 mins First corner of the game to Sunderland and Kieran Richardson hoofs it way too high and hard up above the heads of everyone in a red and white shirt.

7 mins Berbatov gets his head to Tottenham's first corner of the game, but only after giving himself a little lift off Paul McShane's shoulders. Sunderland hoof the ensuing free kick straight down the other end, but Stokes can't do anything with it.

9 mins Sunderland are having more of the possession, but Spurs look the more incisive when they do have it - Berbatov lays back a low cross from Steed Malbranque into the path of Jenas, but he cannons it wide from just outside the area.

11 mins Jojo Malig doesn't like my prediction. "A 2-1 win for Keano's new boys," he insists. "Spurs have a problem with their leaky defence, and with all their left-backs out, the Black Cats could pull off an upset." Hmm, don't know Jojo - true enough Stalteri is not a man you want playing full-back, or indeed anywhere else for you, but I'm not really sure Stokes and Daryl Murphy are sharp enough to take advantage of them. Plus Younes Kaboul looks a very tidy addition in the middle.

14 mins Still lots of energy to this game but really not a lot happening in terms of chances. Just as I type that Malbranque chips in a decent ball from just outside the edge of the penalty area on the right which runs just too far ahead of Keane as he chases into the six-yard box.

19 mins On an aside, because this game's been quite uneventful, Sky have moved their scoreboard and clock to the bottom left of the screen. I don't like it. Neither do you.

20 mins Sunderland register their first attempt on goal as Richardson takes the ball off Pascal Chimbonda (I think) with a crunching tackle, then lays the ball back to Stokes about 30 yards out. His effort soars high and wide, but it's a start.

22 mins "As a Long-time-reader-first-time-emailer I would like to ask which bright spark picked this mediocre affair to start the ruddy season?" demands Simon Jessop. "Probably because Roy Keane has been hailed as some kind of Brian Clough for the 21st Century; a brooding genius who the media collectively salivate over. I hope Sunderland get relegated before October." I do have to agree that the Keane hype has been a touch over-done, but if he keeps this team of mediocre talent up he might just force me to eat those words.

25 mins Signs of life from Keane's men as Ross Wallace slams the ball goalwards from 30 yards only to see it deflected wide - the ensuing corner isn't properly cleared at the first attempt, but McShane ends the danger for Tottenham by fouling Gardner.

27 mins And now Keane tests Craig Gordon with a low drive from about 20-yards. It was too close and too slow to really trouble the goalie - but hey, two shots in three minutes. One of them was on target and everything!

30 mins "On the subject of annoying changes to scoreboards - why doesn´t the fresh commentary load at the top of the page like it used to?" demands Eduardinho. Errr, mostly because I've messed up. I'll get it changed at half-time but it's too tricky to do mid-half. Sorry!

32 mins Sunderland really do not look composed at the back - first a long cross from Chimbonda on the right eludes everyone, but Malbranque miscontrols it and has to turn and send it back to the wing. Then another cross in just eludes Berbatov's head, Nosworthy takes an incomprehensible amount of time to clear it and then gives it meekly back to Berbatov before finally it's hacked clear. If Tottenham can get their act together up front they really shouldn't have trouble scoring.

35 mins Disappointing from Dickson Etuhu as he spurns probably the best chance of the match, miscuing his header despite the cross from the left being delivered right onto his head eight yards out.

37 mins Oooh, a great chance goes begging for Sunderland! Ross Wallace's cross ran all the way across to Daryl Murphy completely unmarked just outside the right-hand corner of the six-yard box. Paul Robinson was out sharply, but if he had got any lift on the ball whatsoever that would have gone over the goalie for the first goal of the season.

40 mins And one straight back for Tottenham - Berbatov beats the offside trap as he chases a long bouncing ball forward, then chips the ball over Craig Gordon after he came charging out into no man's land on the left-hand edge of the area. The defence gets back though, and Berbatov just over-hits his touch as he looks to move around Nosworthy. He promptly takes a tumble and might have had a little nick off the Sunderland player, but never enough to justify a pen.

41 mins Crikey, it's getting a bit tasty here - Dickson Etuhu belts a ball just wide to the right from 20 yards out and shortly after Zokora picks up the first booking of the game, though I'm not quite sure what for.

44 mins "Any decent songs from either set of fans so far?" wonders Neil Brennan. Not really to be honest - the Tottenham fans have been quite loud but it hasn't really got any more exciting than "stand up if you hate Arsenal".

45 mins (+0.5) And that's that for the half. Right, better get this scrolling down thing sorted.

Ta-da! Fixed. Isn't that better?

Half-time email tomfoolery "Someone said that there would be some football on at 12:45, but i don't see any," harrumphs Ciaran McGowan. "They also said this team was a top 4 wannabee, but they aren't doing very well against spurs." Honk!

46 mins And we're back underway before I get a chance to deliver my considered in-depth half-time analysis. Your loss is great.

47 mins I'm still not convinced they've got enough talent, but you certainly can't fault Sunderland's work-rate - they've dictated the pace of the game here throughout and come out after half-time at 100mph. Sadly Richardson's attempted centre is not up to scratch and Kaboul cuts it out.

49 mins Chimbonda surrenders a corner after Richardson plays in Stokes down the left channel. Chimbonda appears to have picked up a bit of a knock here too - he doesn't look happy but eventually clambers to his feet. The corner once again comes to nothing.

51 mins "Re. Mr Brennan's question about songs (44 mins) - I've heard plenty of indecent songs in recent years, but it's 24 years since I heard a decent one. At the 1983 FA Cup Final Replay, as Man Utd netted a fourth, their fans serenaded Brighton's returning centre-half 'Stevie Foster, Stevie Foster, What a difference you have made, Whaaaat a difference you have made.' Cruel, but true." Anyone out there got any wittier, *printable* efforts to share?

53 mins This is beginning to have the look of a 0-0 about it. Still suspect Tottenham are the more likely to score though - probably on the back of some form of defensive calamity.

55 mins Berbatov whips a free-kick a couple of feet over the cross bar after Stokes clatters into Chimbonda a yard outside the area on the left. Sunderland respond by replacing Dwight Yorke with Liam Miller.

58 mins And Martin Jol shoots back by replacing Teemu Tainio with Darren Bent - as clear an acknowledgement as you could want that a draw would be a disappointing result for Spurs today.

61 mins Younes Kaboul breaks for Tottenham after another disappointing corner from Sunderland - he looks to be on to something too as he exchanges passes with a midfielder and tears forward, but the return ball is a bit too far ahead of him.

63 mins Tottenham have moved to a true 4-3-3 since bringing Bent on, but they're struggling to get the ball forward in the first place as a result - all of Keane, Berbatov and Bent are hanging right on the defender's shoulders and it's leaving Sunderland with extra men in midfield.

66 mins And, yes, Spurs have resorted to lumping it straight over midfield as a result. You're not missing anything.

72 mins Kieran Richardson comes off for Danny Collins, which rather suggests Keano might be content with a draw on his first game back here. That said Richardson hasn't been doing much lately. In fact overall today Richardson has been disappointing for my money. Plenty of enthusiasm and running but no inspiration. And actually, that said, he has also brought on Michael Chopra for Stokes.

75 mins And now Berbatov makes way for Jermain Defoe, and frankly looks none too happy about it. Not sure what I make of that - to be fair it's not as if Tottenham's attack have been doing anything so far, but Berbatov has basically been starved of the ball and has looked sharp enough on the few occassions he's seen it. And yes, in case you were wondering, substitutions really are the only interesting things happening right now.

77 mins Darren Bent is full of running, and almost manages to turn his man on the edge of the box with Defoe nearby, but can't quite get it out from under his feet and gets dispossessed.

80 mins Andrew Booth reckons we might be at the wrong game. "Not missing anything (66 mins)?! i just flicked over to find celtic have come back from 1 nil down against falkirk to be 4-1 up!"

83 mins Still nothing doing. Short of reporting each aimless hoof as its own entry I'm really not sure how else to report this to you.

Another substitution - 85 mins!!! Sorry, that's about as thrilling as this one's going to get. Zokora is replaced by Tom Huddlestone as Jol desperately tries to give his side any sort of spark.

88 mins A shot! A real shot! And it's Huddlestone with a really rather good one too as he cannons the ball back towards goal after it breaks out of the area from a corner. It needed a bit of direction on it though, and in the end was a bit too close to Gordon, who claimed at the first attempt.

89 mins Unbelievable - just seconds after Huddlestone's effort Etuhu blows the game's easiest chance by a mile. The ball was floated in from the edge of the box to find him all alone on the edge of the six-yard box and right in the middle of Robinson's goal, but he fails to take it cleanly on his thigh and it bobbles gently into the keepers' arms.

GOAL!!! Sunderland 1-0 Tottenham - Chopra 90 (+4) I hate to repeat myself but UN-BE-LIEVABLE! Just as the game was looking deader than Yangtze dolphin, Michael Chopra pops up to score a debut goal. It was a corker too - first Ross Wallace turned Paul Stalteri inside out down by the touchline, then he delivered a pin point ball to Chopra, who showed remarkable composure to take a touch and then slot the ball past - past three onrushing defenders as well as Robinson - right into the bottom corner. Excellent take.

Peep! Peep! Peep! And there's barely enough time for Spurs to kick off again, let alone try to formulate a response. What a way for Chopra to endear himself to those Sunderland fans still sceptical about having a Geordie in their ranks. An excellent first result for the Black Cats and one that will only add enthusiasm to the Roy Keane bandwagon. Don't kid yourself though, this was a horrible game for the most part, and though Sunderland worked hard they rarely looked incisive; there will be tougher tests ahead.. Tottenham were poor and will have to show a lot more as the season goes on if they seriously intend to threaten the top four. Thanks for all your emails, sorry I couldn't use more.