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Called CPS on SIL

My BIL And SIL are the trashiest people in the world and I live next door to them.
DH is a teacher and I’m a nurse. We have a nice home with two young girls and his brother and his wife live next to us in an eyesore of a falling apart trailer with three teenagers she had from a previous marriage, she takes advantage of him, he adopted them a few years ago after she pressured him for years about it, and one six year old they have together..
She is on disability aka “I don’t want to work, so I am going to pretend to have ptsd and panic attacks” and BIL has worked the same dead end job for 25 or 30 years.
They have a tacky wooden swing set she brags about getting free for hauling away on a yard sale site. But really it’s just ugly and imo it’s an accident waiting to happen
Well, a month ago when we had those really bad cold snaps, their pipes froze and some busted.
Monday I went over to see her and found out she was terribly behind in her dishes.
She said it was difficult to keep up with because she had to heat the water in a pan until tax time, that they had already filed and just waiting on them to come in. They get the earned income credit so they get a huge check, and then her DH, and teenaged boys would fix the pipes (poor kids having to do this kind of work)
I asked how the kids were bathing and how she was doing laundry.
She said she still did laundry she just did it in cold water. (GROSS) and that they were heating water in pans for the kids to take baths.
So I thought about it and after thinking really hard I decided to call CPS.
The worker came out yesterday morning and left then BIL came home early. These are my off days.i Work 6 Days on and go ur off.
So I called down and asked if everything was ok, and they told me that CPS had been out. I immediately offered to take the kids and they asked why I would need to.
I told them with the problems they had just assumed..
And SIL got snotty and said that no, while she had a few dishes left she and DD had done most of them the night before, and while they didn’t have HOT water they had running water and CPS had no issues.
CPS HAD NO ISSUES with their home which honestly should be condemned!!!! Then she accused me of making the call because she said I was the only one to have been at the house in the last week. Then started hyperventilating and pretending to have a “panick attack”
I was just trying to help her poor children have a decent chance. They can’t even take a shower!!! And now DH is mad at me!!!! He told me it wasn’t my place to put my nose in, and he won’t speak to me. Of all people I would have have thought he would understand why I did it!!

*edit
I didn’t know there was a problem until Monday, I couldn’t offer help until I knew there was a problem

I offered to let them come shower at my house when I found out but SHE doesn’t leave her house except doctors appointments or when she absolutely HAS to

We live in the country, DH’s Parents gave DH and BIL each a piece of land DH build us a home and BIL bought a trashy trailer

I guess they were going to use their tax return to buy supplies and fix it. It wasn't good enough for OP. No wonder they don't tell her anything. I don't believe she is a nurse. A mandated reporter is aware of the conditions in which CPS should be alerted. She looks down upon them for so many other things unrelated to the pipe problem so it seems like this was done for other reasons.

Quoting Anonymous 78: Maybe they are saving up. Obviously they are not as well off as op.

I have been saving for about 3 months for my roof repairs, only a few more pay checks and i can get it fixed

Quoting ThatBoysMom: I do hear ya on that one. My in laws are that way. I was raised that u never ask anyone to do something that u can do for yourself. Like get up off your ass and just do it. Well just so happens there's so much they "can't" do.

Ya know like looking online for a car and asking DH to test drive it for them and let them know. Searching online for a dog and want us to pick it up and bring it to them. They live 2 hrs away. BIL actually tried to get DH to call in his unemployment because he didn't know how. It never ends.

Quoting Anonymous 1: The difference is, my family also works hard to help themselves.

Quoting ThatBoysMom: Support your husbands decision to help his family in a time of need. You know you would do it for yours.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I offered to let them shower and asked if there was anything I could do
What was I supposed to do beyond that?

Quoting ThatBoysMom: You acted like it was an outrage that they lived like this but are against any help for them? Are you kidding?

Its obvious that you think your family is royalty and his is trash. Your husband has a big heart for helping and I'm sorry that you can't see that as a good thing.

Last I saw, she was waiting to tell to her parents about it. I don't know why her parents would have say over what her husband does with his family.

To me, it seems like a post to just bash them and state that she is better. (having a house while they have a trailer, be a nurse while sil stays in due to mental illness, let her kids be kids instead of teach them how real things work...)

Quoting SciFiMama91: Had OP admitted to being a troll yet? Because I refuse to believe anyone can be this ridiculous.

My parents have decided to buy her a dishwasher!!!!
OMG!!
Seriously!!
They told me they believe I meant well, but they believe my panties are in a twist!!!!
They also want to hire in some help during spring break to make their addition bigger than just one room!
My FATHER CALLED DH and they have been “workin out the deets” for an hour now.
My mother called a friend who knows appliances who is delivering a dishwasher tomorrow
And basically patting me on the head.
They told me I need to go home, Make a nice dinner and be ready for DH to come home and make nice.

Quoting ThatBoysMom: I think u should have a little compassion and support his decision to help them right now. If he felt the need to record you on the nanny cam then there's probably more that we don't know. Sounds like he's gathering evidence against u.

Your parents know everyone and none of us do, so what is their opinion on all of this?

Quoting Anonymous 1: If my family needs something they know they can count on me.
Except the one time that my brother hit the deer and then DH wouldnt help him co sign to get a new car.
DH’s family never tells us anything
SIL doesn’t work outside the home.
He accepts the fact that she never wants to leave the house unless she absolutely has to.

Quoting ThatBoysMom: I do hear ya on that one. My in laws are that way. I was raised that u never ask anyone to do something that u can do for yourself. Like get up off your ass and just do it. Well just so happens there's so much they "can't" do.

Ya know like looking online for a car and asking DH to test drive it for them and let them know. Searching online for a dog and want us to pick it up and bring it to them. They live 2 hrs away. BIL actually tried to get DH to call in his unemployment because he didn't know how. It never ends.

Quoting Anonymous 1: The difference is, my family also works hard to help themselves.

Quoting ThatBoysMom: Support your husbands decision to help his family in a time of need. You know you would do it for yours.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I offered to let them shower and asked if there was anything I could do
What was I supposed to do beyond that?

Quoting ThatBoysMom: You acted like it was an outrage that they lived like this but are against any help for them? Are you kidding?

Its obvious that you think your family is royalty and his is trash. Your husband has a big heart for helping and I'm sorry that you can't see that as a good thing.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Feb. 9, 2018 at 2:12 PM

I am GREAT at my job.
Second and third time moms come in and ask if I am on because they loved me so much

Quoting Anonymous 3: I PRAY he divorces you and takes your kids. Based on your post and comments on here, I doubt that you are mentally stable enough to be working around newborns or their moms. You are a danger to your patients. You need serious help.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I came home last night late. DH had DD to bed already so I put YDD to bed and went in to kiss ODD goodnight and she woke up and announced that daddy let her have pop for dinner.
Then I realized that she had double French braids in her hair like some sort of little farm girl!!!
I asked who did that to her head and she said “Aunt Xxx” and then asked if I liked it
I went back out where DH was drinking cheap beer beer, which he hasn’t done for YEARS.
I asked him what the hell he did today
He acted as though I wasn’t even in the room!!!
He then proceeded to go tuck in YDD and now wants HER today as well.
When I told him there was no way in hell he continued to ignore me I threw his Coors Lite Bottle at his head and then he went off on me
Pointed at the nanny cam that I bought and said he had activated it and it was now recording to HIS COMPUTER!!!
He informed me that I would be apologizing to his family and would need to find a way to make things up to them.
I told him the beer had gone to his head.
He told me this spring they needed a room built on and I was going to be helping to build and that’s what we were all going to be doing with our vacation
I told him I would see him in divorce court first
He said that was my decision.
I’ve called off work and will be visiting my parents later

I love your parents they are awesome. Oh did you tell them you threw a beer bottle at his head?

Quoting Anonymous 1: My parents have decided to buy her a dishwasher!!!!
OMG!!
Seriously!!
They told me they believe I meant well, but they believe my panties are in a twist!!!!
They also want to hire in some help during spring break to make their addition bigger than just one room!
My FATHER CALLED DH and they have been “workin out the deets” for an hour now.
My mother called a friend who knows appliances who is delivering a dishwasher tomorrow
And basically patting me on the head.
They told me I need to go home, Make a nice dinner and be ready for DH to come home and make nice.

Quoting ThatBoysMom: I think u should have a little compassion and support his decision to help them right now. If he felt the need to record you on the nanny cam then there's probably more that we don't know. Sounds like he's gathering evidence against u.
Your parents know everyone and none of us do, so what is their opinion on all of this?

Quoting Anonymous 1: If my family needs something they know they can count on me.
Except the one time that my brother hit the deer and then DH wouldnt help him co sign to get a new car.
DH’s family never tells us anything
SIL doesn’t work outside the home.
He accepts the fact that she never wants to leave the house unless she absolutely has to.

Quoting ThatBoysMom: I do hear ya on that one. My in laws are that way. I was raised that u never ask anyone to do something that u can do for yourself. Like get up off your ass and just do it. Well just so happens there's so much they "can't" do.
Ya know like looking online for a car and asking DH to test drive it for them and let them know. Searching online for a dog and want us to pick it up and bring it to them. They live 2 hrs away. BIL actually tried to get DH to call in his unemployment because he didn't know how. It never ends.

Quoting Anonymous 1: The difference is, my family also works hard to help themselves.

Quoting ThatBoysMom: Support your husbands decision to help his family in a time of need. You know you would do it for yours.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I offered to let them shower and asked if there was anything I could do
What was I supposed to do beyond that?

Quoting ThatBoysMom: You acted like it was an outrage that they lived like this but are against any help for them? Are you kidding?
Its obvious that you think your family is royalty and his is trash. Your husband has a big heart for helping and I'm sorry that you can't see that as a good thing.

Well let's hope none of them have PPD because you know.... mental illness is "fake". 😕

Quoting Anonymous 1: I am GREAT at my job.
Second and third time moms come in and ask if I am on because they loved me so much

Quoting Anonymous 3: I PRAY he divorces you and takes your kids. Based on your post and comments on here, I doubt that you are mentally stable enough to be working around newborns or their moms. You are a danger to your patients. You need serious help.

Quoting Anonymous 1: I came home last night late. DH had DD to bed already so I put YDD to bed and went in to kiss ODD goodnight and she woke up and announced that daddy let her have pop for dinner.
Then I realized that she had double French braids in her hair like some sort of little farm girl!!!
I asked who did that to her head and she said “Aunt Xxx” and then asked if I liked it
I went back out where DH was drinking cheap beer beer, which he hasn’t done for YEARS.
I asked him what the hell he did today
He acted as though I wasn’t even in the room!!!
He then proceeded to go tuck in YDD and now wants HER today as well.
When I told him there was no way in hell he continued to ignore me I threw his Coors Lite Bottle at his head and then he went off on me
Pointed at the nanny cam that I bought and said he had activated it and it was now recording to HIS COMPUTER!!!
He informed me that I would be apologizing to his family and would need to find a way to make things up to them.
I told him the beer had gone to his head.
He told me this spring they needed a room built on and I was going to be helping to build and that’s what we were all going to be doing with our vacation
I told him I would see him in divorce court first
He said that was my decision.
I’ve called off work and will be visiting my parents later

Quoting sweetfox3: Either a troll, but entertaining or one of those people who can't ever admit to being wrong and so will keep doubling down on information until people agree that they were right all along.

Quoting SciFiMama91: Had OP admitted to being a troll yet? Because I refuse to believe anyone can be this ridiculous.

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
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