Tag: Reality

You are AWESOME!

We become what we tell ourselves we are, and then we shape how we view our reality around our perception of ourselves. We have to stop letting that negative committee up there tell us how to see our reality. Our perception is everything!

We can’t just say and spread positive messages to the outside world and expect things to be good. What is happening inside our minds is what matters. We train our brains to see what we are focusing on. Make sure you are fixing the messages you have programmed in there if you want to see real positive change in your life.

Are You Wondering How?

The fastest method I used to retrain my brain to focus on what I wanted was through gratitude and writing three things I liked/loved about myself daily. Doing the combination of these two things (consistently) for a period of at least 35 days or more can reshape your reality. If you haven’t stopped hearing the committee, it means you’r not ready to stop.

If that committee is really strong, you will have to be smart and use your creativity to shine light on them. This may mean digging in deep. Be open to hear where you are being led. If you really want to change, you will get signs showing you the way.

29 DAYS UNTIL THE RELEASE OF LETTERS FROM A BETTER ME!

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PERSPECTIVE: I, WE, HE, SHE, THEY, OR IT SHOULD HAVE

We can give should a lot of power over our lives if we are not careful. I don’t care who we are shoulding. When we should a person or situation, we are fighting the reality of what is. Shoulding is a form of shaming ourselves and others. I used to use should haves to beat myself up in ways way beyond what anyone else could ever do to me. I used should to keep me prisoner of my self-proclaimed pity party. I also used should haves against other people and situations to keep me prisoner of my past and to punish them. The should haves create toxic energy. The question is, do you really want to be carrying that around? If we carry that energy around with us, it will unconsciously seep into what we feel, think, and do.

What should have been is an illusion and a toxic one at that. It is NOT reality. What happened is what should have happened, because it is what happened—that is reality. What are we going to do with what happened? No reason to waste time and energy on on should haves. Empower yourself and your energy to move you to make the changes you can make right now.

If we didn’t do something:

What did we learn from not doing it?

Are we committed to doing better next time?

What can we do right now to help us to move past our learning experience (let it go, forgive ourselves, pray, express gratitude for the lesson, etc.)?

If someone else or others didn’t do something:

What did it teach us about the person and/or group?

What choices do we have in the present to change the affect of their actions on our lives?

How will be proceed with this person and/or people (accept, forgive, walk away, stand up to, report, etc)?

If we believe something should have been different:

What lessons can we take from the situation?

What positives came from the situation?

How can we shift our energy to accept the reality of the situation?

TODAY’S PERSPECTIVE CHALLENGE

Challenge yourself to shift your perspective from should have to a more productive energy booster for you. Anytime you hear should have pop into your thoughts—challenge it. Ask yourself questions like the ones up above. See how your energy shifts. Be conscious of how you feel when you think should have.

Where do you feel it?

How does that feeling move through your body?

After you have gained perspective, check in again.

How does the thought feel?

Where do you feel it?

How is it affecting your mood to think about learning instead of fighting the reality of what already happened?

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We create the world we live in. Yes, we are that powerful. It all starts with a stream of thought and where our focus is. How is it that twins who grew up in the same household can go off to lead such different lives? How is it possible for some in poverty to break down the barriers and rise up, while others fall? How is possible for some people to find the love, careers, and lifestyle they want and others struggle? How do some people feel like victims of the world and other feel like participants in the journey?

It all begins with the messages we feed ourselves.

How do I use my words?

Do I speak in the positive or negative more?

Do I focus my attention on stories of successes or stories about tragedies?

Do I see possibilities or obstacles?

Do I question my reactions to others?

How do I judge myself?

How do I judge others?

How do I participate in life?

Do I work hard or smart?

Do I try to lose weight or create a healthier lifestyle?

How do I treat myself?

Do I put more values in others than I do myself?

These questions only tap the surface, but how we answer each one dictates the life we are creating. Old patterns of thinking take time to break. Some of these may have come from the generations before you. Investigate your current beliefs and break free from the past ones that hold you back. Here are a few ideas on how to improve the life you are creating:

Make lists to change your thinking to a more possibility focused outlook. I have used it for love, work, family, spirituality, self, money, and school. I am amazed in the changes every time. When I can make a list of all the positive things I want my life, I know what I am working towards.

Write a Letter the God of your understanding, a friend, or a family member like you already have what you are wanting in your life. Pick on area to focus on so that you can give it your full attention and energy. Go through the feelings of having it in your life. Use ALL your senses. This will help ignite every part of you in the process. Make sure to write about the details of how things look, smell, taste, sound, and feel. Create scenes where you can use each sense. If you can’t see the life you want, you are giving away your power to create it. Remember to leave it open to be better than you can even imagine. This will give it space to grow above and beyond.

STAY AWAY from focusing on what you don’t want. If you know there are certain qualities that aren’t appeasing to you, focus on the ones that are their opposite. Instead of focusing on losing weight, quitting smoking, or ending toxic relationships focus on the actions of a healthier lifestyle. You don’t want to see the excess weight, the smoking, or the unhealthy relationship. What does the opposite look like to you.

Expand your tool box. How do you plan on staying in this positive mindset? What books will help you focus on the life you want? What exercises will benefit this life the most? How do you need to change your eating habits? What videos would you like to see on-line (If you haven’t been introduced to the world of Ted Talks check them out). We don’t have excuses anymore, it doesn’t matter how our life looks to anyone else. It only matters what you want your life to look like.

FEEL! Covering pain with outside substances will only accentuate the problem and keep you farther from the solution. When we allow ourselves to fully feel the joy and the pain it will help move us to a better place. When we use things like drugs, alcohol, or other people to cover up what is going on. It lays stuck creating diseases, illnesses, and despair. It steals our hope, joy, and power. I’m not saying not to enjoy a cocktail or a companion. Just don’t use them as a tool to cover up what you are really feeling.

Allow yourself to grieve the losses of the old life. This is the life you have lived for a very long time. It will take time to release it. It will happen in stages and you may feel the loss of the walls of protection you put up around that life. Be gentle with yourself. What I have noticed is I will create a situation with another person, where I find myself facing that part of me. Patterns keep repeating until we are able to fully release what is keeping them there. See the opportunity to learn and the progress you have made.

“If we do not suffer a loss all the way to the end, it will wait for us. It won’t just dissipate and disappear. Rather, it will fester, and we will experience its sorrow later, in stranger forms” -Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open p. 99

Record your progress. Even when you have a bad day, which you will, find something in it to contribute to the life you want for yourself. Notice as much as you can to be grateful for in each day. Take charge and put your energy into where you want to go while being grateful for what is already here.