The 5 Most Terrifying Ways Doctors Went Crazy on the Job

#2. The Doctor Who Attacked His Lover With an Abortion Syringe

Logically, there is no reason why a certain percentage of doctors wouldn't be batshit crazy. Getting through medical school requires intelligence and dedication, sure, but you can have both of those things and still be at least somewhat nuts. And when doctors go off the deep end, they have some more advanced methods for going crazy than the rest of us.

For instance, in early 2000, Dr. Stephen Pack was in a bit of a pickle: He'd knocked up a nurse that he was dicking after hours. Pack was a married man, and absolutely didn't want a love child. But instead of taking the usual shitty dad tactic of abandoning the kid, Pack came up with an even douchier, more psychopathic solution.

You might already know that there are drugs that can induce an abortion if injected (basically a version of the abortion drug RU-486 that can be administered by syringe). You think you know where this story is going -- he probably hatched some evil plan to trick her into taking it, right? Maybe lured her in for a checkup and told her it was vitamins or something?

Getty"Syringe injecting contest. Go!"

Nope. He hid in the shadows of the parking lot with his syringe and waited for nurse Joy Schepis to walk by. Then Pack jumped out of the shadows and announced his attack like a cartoon villain, shouting, "I'm going to give you an abortion!" as he started wildly stabbing Schepis in the thigh and buttocks with the needle.

When his totally brilliant and expertly executed plan fell apart (it's actually really hard to successfully give someone an injection this way), Pack fled from the parking lot of Montefiore Medical Center to the nearby North Central Bronx Hospital. Upon arriving, he properly deposited the empty syringes into a medical waste container, as any responsible physician would.

Photos.comWaste container? We always assumed these worked like the "find a penny, take a penny" tray.

The good news is that the baby was perfectly fine, and since enough sane people did their jobs with satisfactory proficiency, Pack got what was coming to him. He got two years in prison and had to undergo 100 hours of therapy, after which he reached out to Schepis with an apology, presumably via one of those "Sorry I Flailed at You With an Abortion Needle" cards from Hallmark.

It does seem like somebody who does what Pack did might be more than 100 hours of therapy away from a healthy mind, but we're not medical professionals.

#1. The Doctor Who Gave His Girlfriend a Corpse Hand

Everyone has done something a little embarrassing in the name of love. We've all stood outside someone's window with a guitar, or, you know, lovingly dismembered a corpse to offer as a tip for our stripper girlfriend. Wait, maybe that one isn't so common. But that's what Dr. Ahmed Rashed did back in 2002, while he was studying in medical school.

Getty"This is way cheaper than going out for dinner."

The crime was discovered when police entered the home of topless dancer Linda Kay on an unrelated matter, a matter which probably took a back seat as soon as the cops saw the severed hand sitting in a jar on her dresser.

The story goes that Dr. Rashed, who was still just Mr. Rashed back then, became friendly with Kay while he was studying and she was taking her clothes off for money. Presumably, he told her that he'd do anything for a date, and she asked, "Anything?"

Photos.com"I'm pretty overdue for a colonoscopy."

The hand came from a cadaver at the university that was due to be cremated, and according to Rashed's defense, he didn't realize that what he was doing was illegal. That's right, at no point while he was standing next to a casket with a bone saw, vigorously hacking some dead guy's hand off, did he take a moment to ask himself, "Wait a second, would this be considered illegal? Or insane?"

Rashed then took the hand back to the strip club and offered it to Kay, who not only didn't Mace him, but kept the damn thing for four years. It was only then, when Rashed was a licensed physician in Los Angeles, that he had to account for the whole situation and was arrested for theft, presumably after the judge had to flip through the law books to figure out what to charge him with.