Made In Chelsea: Stevie, Sam And A Birthday Party

Stevie and Sam try their luck with the girls and Mark Francis has a birthday party like no other. And surely Spenny, Lucy and Jaime's joint holiday to South Africa is a recipe for disaster, says Will Gore.

In the latest instalment of Made in Chelsea's two of the show's background characters, Irrelevant Stevie and Louise's brother Sam, were given a few moments in the limelight.

As his name suggests, Irrelevant Stevie has been pretty surplus to requirements in the MiC story thus far. He was given a brief bit of attention a couple of episodes ago when he spectacularly failed to pull laughing girl Tiff, but last night he suddenly broke the news that not only had he managed to kiss a member of the opposite sex, but that she was also coming to London to see him.

The Irrelevant One did his best to frighten Poppy, the lucky lady in question, away, first by gurning at her weirdly when they met at St Pancras, and then by taking her to Mark Francis's ludicrous birthday party, during which a cellist entertained the guests with a recital of Bach's Suite No. 1 in G Major (handily abridged to one minute to cater for the combined attention span of the Made in Chelsea cast members).

I'm sure you'd join me in hoping that Poppy sticks around for a bit. Stevie might be an insignificant presence in all of our lives, but he seems like a decent enough bloke. Sadly, the same can't be said for Sam, a hyperactive Hobbit who's more irritating than pubic lice (which I'm told is very irritating, indeed). Despite last week's fist-chewingly awful poetry reading, Fran agreed to go on a date with him. For her trouble, she was treated to a three quid bunch of flowers, followed by Sam lunging at her under a drawing of a branch of mistletoe.

Louise later asked Fran how the date had gone, adding that her brother is "so easy to spend time with and so not awkward". She was obviously talking utter nonsense, but Fran didn't have it in her to break it to Louise that her brother is a bit of a gimp. You get the feeling that this awkward moment is only a week or two away.

Elsewhere, the foundations were laid for the upcoming South Africa holiday episode, as Jamie invited Binky, Alex and Lucy away with him. For some reason (ie. the producers told him to), Jamie also asked Spencer along for the safari. Spenny, in turn, invited Phoebe-Lettice to join in the fun.

Lettice and Spenny had bonded over motorbikes and the fact that they were both mugged off by Sophie at Mark Francis's birthday bash. First up, Sophie took one look at Phoebe's Black Swan-style outfit and dismissed it with the marvellous putdown, "What is it made of? Is it actually bin bags?"

Then it was Spencer's turn to get it in the neck. When asked if she'd like to go out with him, Sophie sneered, "I'd rather shoot myself". Or maybe she said, "shit myself." With that strong Germanic accent, it was genuinely hard to tell. The jist was clear enough however, and Spencer, understandably, looked a little crestfallen. Let's not feel too concerned for him, though. I'm sure his ego will recover in time for his holiday.