It would appear that the real-world is sometimes just as icky Sin City, which, you'll remember, featured Nick Stahl as the horrifyingly devious and untouchable Senator's son who can, by virtue of his parentage, get away with abusing young girls. Patrick Moran, the real-world son of Democratic Virginia Rep. Jim Moran, avoided jail time after pleading guilty to physically abusing his girlfriend outside of bar in Columbia Heights.

The Washington City Paperreports that, according to a D.C. police report, the younger Moran had been quarreling with his girlfriend in the wee small hours of the morning on Dec. 1 before suddenly slamming her head into the bar's metal trash can cage. Police then described Moran's girlfriend's face was "bleeding heavily from her nose and also observed that her nose and right eye were extremely swollen." In the way of more clinical grisly details, the City Paper adds an account from an ambulance technician who "transported [Moran's girlfriend] to Howard University Hospital told police that Moran appeared to have broken her nose and given her a skull fracture under her right eye."

Moran was initially charged with felony domestic violence assault. Earlier today, he pleaded the charge down to simple assault and was sentenced, simply, to probation because the wheels of justice only grind into serious gear for people who aren't related to congressional lawmakers. The elder Moran described his son and the woman his son brutalized as "good kids," which, while it may be an honest assessment of the woman's character, is most certainly a gross distortion of Patrick Moran, who L.A. Confidential's Bud White would most certainly agree is an asshole of dangerous and cowardly proportions.