Thursday, March 14, 2019

Straw Poll

Devin Nunes (pronounced "nunya" as in "nunya busniness"), a Representative of the Golden State, had this to tweet over the weekend: "At restaurant tonight waitress asks if we want straws. Says she has to ask now in fear of 'THE STRAW POLICE'. Welcome to Socialism in California!" Did I mention that Mister Nunes is a Republican? Did I mention that socialism has become a bad word in the late teens of this century? You might have noticed this in various places like the NRA attacks on newly-elected Representative Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, labeling her a "self-absorbed socialist darling." Ouch. So let's take a step back and check out Representative Nunes' frustration with asking for a straw in his local diner. At the beginning of this year, a law went into effect here in California which makes straws an on-demand service. Plastic is a problem, and handing out a straw that falls necessarily into the waste stream on the off chance that someone might need one is exacerbating the problem. No less a celebrity than Tom Brady, a native Californian, got behind this movement. No one, not even David Nunes, is calling Tom Brady a Socialist. There are some reports of Americans using five hundred million straws a day. Though they are thin, that would be enough to fill one hundred twenty-seven school buses a day. There was no mention as to who would drive these buses or where they would park since those straws are thrown away. They don't break down. They just hang around for a few thousand years as a reminder of that Diet Coke you ordered and forgot to drink because you were in a hurry to get to the movies.Which is where you can grab all the straws you like. Apparently socialism has not made its way into movie theaters and fast-food restaurants. Not yet, anyway. Can you imagine having to ask for a straw at Burger King?Well, actually I can. This happens at regular intervals when I reach for the straw dispenser and find it empty as I go to pop a sipping conveyance into my chocolate shake. So, if having to ask for a straw is Socialist, what do we call it when our government inquires about our immigration status or our voter registration status?