(OKLAHOMA CITY) Oklahoma former history teacher and current Republican legislator Sally Kern needs to crack some her own text books instead of making wisecracks about Oklahoma's and the nation's gay/lesbian taxpayers.

Next on her list of accomplishments (Is this the fundie agenda?) will undoubtedly be a display on her body of the bleeding stigmata. For you heathens that's Latin for the wounds of Christ.

Her battlefield isn't bloody enough yet so she's upping the stakes in her push to move Oklahoma even farther off the edge in her own image. Remember, Oklahoma is where over 70% who voted in 2004 chose to ignore the inherent equality of Oklahoma's gay and lesbian tax-payers by passing a constitutional ban on same-gender marriage.

Of course this imposes the baleful fundie version of Christianity on everybody else, regardless of their religious observance or neutrality. Somebody needs to tell Mrs. Kern the battle over that question has been decided; it's as dead in Oklahoma as her bedroom on Saturday night.

No doubt about it, being named a holy warrior brings with it a lot of responsibility which is why she carries a loaded handgun and has brought it twice into the Oklahoma Capitol Building even though that's a crime. But since Kern's a holy warrior her gun license comes from Heaven and the Highway Patrol knows she has no malicious intent. They said so in defending Mrs. Kern's right to carry heat in a public building. You never know when a liberal might jump through the marble floor and scare the bejesus right out of her. http://tinyurl.com/5l3beg

In her Tuesday lecture Kern went off about the religious POVs of Jefferson, Adams, and Madison, who she just knows had to have been 95% Christian, just a little bit below her own perfect 100%. God undoubtedly told her Himself.

It seems the history books were written by pagans who have yet to receive the fax from Heaven. Those dial-up connections are so slow.

Jefferson made his own version of the Bible by cutting out all the alleged miracles and magic tricks. Adams did not believe a loving god could make a hell. Madison, with Jefferson, was an architect of the principle of church and state separation.

But historical reality has never stood in the way of true deceiver-believers such as snake oil salesmen, bible-bangers, and homo-haters: Kern's true holy trinity.