Ann Coulter is just one of many. Her use of the word "retard" in
recent diatribes against President Obama only echoes a prevalent
notion that comparing someone to the mentally handicapped is a
clever put-down. Ten years ago in high school, I listened as an
extremely intelligent teacher explained to our class that we
would be "retarded" if we misused the Bunsen burners. After
making a mistake at a new job, my then boss asked if I was "a
retard." Among the under 30 set, "retarded" is regularly used as
a synonym for excessive intoxication. For some, "I'm a retard"
is a sufficient form of an apology. The only conclusion I can
draw is that Ann Coulter and every other person who misuses the
word "retard" has absolutely no idea who they are talking about.

My brother David was born with Fragile X Syndrome. Fragile X is
the most common form of genetically inherited mental
retardation. As a result, David has no idea that two plus two
equals four. He lacks the fine motor skills necessary to drive a
car or use a knife. His concept of time is limited to today and
tomorrow. While he recognizes many words, he does not have the
capacity to sit and read a book. His misfiring synapses trigger
tremendous bouts of anxiety that cause him to hit himself and
pinch our parents. After each outburst he is quick to apologize:
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pinch you." He needs to be
reassured as he tries to erase the incident: "I didn't pinch
you, did I? I'm good, right?" He becomes desperate to verify the
other person's well-being: "You happy? Comfortable? You do?"
David struggles to adjust to changes in routine. His favorite
meal consists of a cheeseburger, French fries, and multiple
Sprites with no ice. He loves Skittles, Chinese food, cookie
dough ice cream, and his birthday. At 24 years old, he can
recite entire scenes from My Cousin Vinny and still watches
Barney The Dinosaur. He never forgets a name, always remembers a
face, and is genuinely beloved by everyone who knows him.

David has never dismissed another person based on the color of
their skin, how much they weigh, the deity they worship, the
amount of money they have, or who they love. It would never
occur to him to ask for an apology from Ann Coulter. If she
called him a retard to his face he would probably bellow one of
his deep laughs and say, "Oh Ann, you're so funny." If she
apologized to him for using "retard" to slam the president,
David would say, "It's OK Ann, you didn't mean it." He could
school anyone on unconditional love and acceptance. He's far
from perfect but he is as close to the God I learned about in
Catholic school as anyone I've ever known. I aspire to be more
like him. I want everyone to know that being compared to him is
the highest form of flattery. And I'd appreciate it if Ann
Coulter would leave him out of her rants.