THE PROCESS

OF

FORGIVENESS

NEW: An improved Forgiveness Process Website
for you to go to

IMPORTANT UPDATE, Dec. 2004:

This site was created about ten years ago, and many
people have written to me asking for more information and assistance than
was possible to give on this site then. Further, this site was created with
the now-outdated software, PageMill 2.0, and - my web-design skills are
limited, making it difficult for me to improve the situation.

HOWEVER, the good news is, that a wonderful person called Henry Kadoch,
found value in the Forgiveness Process material offered here. He decided
to create his own beautiful web site, which is dedicated to providing resources
on the themes of Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, Spiritual Psychology,
and Goodwill, etc., from many traditions.

He kindly offered me space for this Forgiveness Process material, and
in addition, for my more detailed E-book, "The Heart of Healing",
my Forgiveness workshop manual, several articles about forgiveness, and
a booklet about the Goodwill Patterns based upon Aramaic Psychology.

These are all now FREELY DOWNLOADABLE from his web site .

[PS: If clicking on any of the following links should fail (due to my
out-of-date software) - please just copy and paste the URL into you web
browser to go there].

_______________________________

In addition, you will find my e-book, "The Heart of Healing"
freely downloadable as three-manuals starting from this URL/page of Henry's
site:

This e-book resource offers much more in the way of detailed explanations,
and also gives examples to make learning and applying the forgiveness process
material easier for you.

_______________________________

Most of the questions and difficulties that people have come up with,
have been addressed somewhere in the material now available on Henry's web
site. However, remember thatyour willingness and persistence to do
your personal work thoroughly will always be essential ingredients to your
success. Reading the material is the first essential step, but going
through it experientially to make it your own is the second. Think of
learning to practise fogiveness as being similar to learning how to drive
safely. It is a health maintenance activity. You will find that you
can quite quickly get more skilled, and it gets easier over time.

_______________________________

You will also find several articles about forgiveness and health, and
a booklet on Goodwill by searching around the forgiveness area of Henry's
site.

Also, there are someother people's approaches to forgiveness
(and much more), so you can select what works best for you.

_____________________________________________

You will find that Henry has gathered together many wonderful resources
about several related topics, and I recommend that you explore his web site
extensively over time.

I feel sure that you will find something to interest you there, plus
some useful resources you can apply on your journey through life. Again,
here are the links given above:

Forgiveness Process (bare bones):

E-book "The Heart of Healing" (more detail):

___________________________________

Or, you can continue with this site - and read on:

WELCOME! THE PURPOSE OF
THIS WEBSITE IS:

To disseminate information about a step
by step Process of Forgiveness of Others and Self. It is experimental. I
am trying to find out if people who do not live close to trained forgiveness
teachers and guides can learn this process without having to visit a therapist
trained in this method or attend a forgiveness seminar.

Going through the process, or taking
others through the process, has been a profound and worthwhile experience
for me and for many others. The question arises - can people derive the
benefits of this process without anyone physically present to guide them
through it?

The Forgiveness Processes offered here
builds on the pioneering work of Dr Edith Stauffer PhD, author of the book
"Unconditional Love and Forgiveness" (1987), whom I first met
in 1980, and I want to pay tribute to her here. She has been a most important
teacher for me in my own life. Her pioneering work in the area of forgiveness
deserves much greater recognition, and I am ever-grateful I came upon it.
The material posted here includes some additional steps or modifications
which I have found valuable in my medical and psychospiritual counselling
practise in New Zealand conditions. These steps were developed to find ways
around some of the obstacles which people sometimes encountered using the
earlier versions of the process - some of the steps were suggested by patients,
students, or clients of mine.

This website also includes ideas derived
from others, notably Dr. Roberto Assagioli, who founded psychosynthesis,
Dan MacDougald, who brought to Edith Stauffer's attention the Aramaic Code
of Conduct (the Patterns of Goodwill, Good Attitudes, or Beatitudes), Pierro
Ferrucci, Michal Eastcott, Dr. Robert Leichtmann, Carl Japikse, Dr. Scott
Peck,Torkom Saraydarian, Walter Polt, Vivian King, Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross,
Dr. Milton Erickson, Virginia Satir. I would like to say how grateful I
am to all of these people who have been my teachers through their writings
or in person.

Different cultures and circumstances
may require modification to the wording, (indeed one of my patients carried
out the process using drawings which symbolised the steps to her) but I
believe that the principles of the process are fully known to us now and are
all included here. I think you will find all of the pieces of the forgiveness
jig-saw puzzle here.

A person going carefully through
each of the steps outlined here stands to gain several benefits. In addition
to the benefits of forgiveness, such as relief from the toxic effects of
unhealed emotional pain, resentment, grudge, etc., they can experience many
of the principles of Psychosynthesis training, namely:

A. Progressive ability to observe themselves
and others more compassionately, and to make wiser, and more conscious choices
with respect to any unsatisfying emotional patterns, belief systems, and
subpersonality patterns.

B. Progressive ability to know and communicate
their own needs in a wiser manner, and to train their Will in wiser and
more skilfull ways.

C. Progressive ability to make better
contact with, and increasingly to identify with, their Higher Self, which
is that part of us which is the Source of love, strength, wisdom and creativity
within each of us. With this comes the increasing ability to love unconditionally
both self and others.

D. Progressive ability to understand
and balance the energies of both love and will, and of the feminine and
masculine sides of their natures, within themselves, and then to use both
of these primary life energies with greater skill, to become both nurturing
and strong at the same time.

E. An increased sense of wholeness,
and very often, deep healing. This healing may include improvements in physical
functioning of the body, healing of the emotions, healing of the mind and
its belief-systems, and healing in relationships.

F. I have also noticed that as a person
completes their whole forgiveness agenda, they often spontaneously
find (or recover) their sense of Life Purpose and ability to give of their
talents to the community in which they live, to become "for-giving"
in a new and deeper sense. People who have completed their forgiveness agenda,
in my observation, have become more able to have satisfying relationships
and to be active in society in a way that is nurturing of themselves and
the planet as a whole.

I offer this process to the wider community
via the Internet with the intention of helping more people to self-heal
their pain and then move on in life with increased skills in the area of
Unconditional Love, Conscious Loving Relationship and Communication, free
from the unconscious patterns caused by the memory traces of past hurts.

DISCLAIMER: Please note that the information
on this website does not make any claims. It is respectfully offered to
you to explore, in the hope and with the intention that exploring this material
will be educational and helpful to you. It makes no claims to be a treatment
for any particular illness, mental, emotional, psychological or physical,
and readers should always consult their physicians or other appropriate
health advisers if necessary. If any aspect of the material appears culturally
insensitive to any person or group, that is not intended and I would ask
to be informed how to remedy any instances of that as soon as possible.

ACKNLOWLEDGEMENTS: As far as possible,
the sources from which I have learned or quoted have been acknlowledged
in the text. My sources are also listed in the References
and Further Resources list so you can
search out the full writings of the various authors for yourself. If you
download any of the text, as I imagine you may well need to in order to
use it, and later use any of the material ascribed to these authors with
others, please give acknowledgement of the source so people can always purchase
the original books if they want to go deeper. I hope this will disseminate
the contributions of these wonderful people more widely.

I wish you well with
this programme. If you do all the exercises in it it will take you time
and effort, and the rewards could be great.

If you find this forgiveness
process useful, and you feel motivated to do so, please consider expressing
your gratitude by sending an anonymous donation or letter of gratitude to
any person or organisation that is working to create right human relationships.

Please let your suggestions
for how it could be improved and made more useful to you be known (the address
is below).

For the study of Integrative Medicine, Life Energy Analysis, Applied Psychophysiology, Transpersonal and Esoteric Psychology and Healing, Psychosynthesis, the Forgiveness Process and Attitudinal Healing