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Sunday, March 6, 2016

Faith. That's something I always thought I had, but I am quickly learning that I never really had true faith. It was some kind of ruse that I lived under to protect myself from the bitter truth. It's been a long time since I have truly had faith. When I was younger, I was actively involved in my church and spent a lot of time listening to what others said God said. I prayed prayers I was taught, and I believed in what others told me I should believe in, and I never really thought to study and develop my own relationship with God.

When I came out as a lesbian, I kind of lost my faith because I knew other people told me that it was a sin, it was "bad," and I would need to change my "lifestyle." This is where I really fell out of touch with God. It started when I first began college and I became concerned with grades, working on my future, but it really snowballed when I came out. I didn't really know how much it affected me until very recently.

When we moved to Illinois, my spouse started talking more about getting back into church. We tried a church our friends went to and we played volleyball for, and it was okay for a while. Then, we got into the Lenten season and they started to ask for money. Now, I understand churches need money in order to survive and rely on donations from their parishioners; however, they started to talk about money all the time. This is also a hot topic for me in regard to religious institutions. I stuck with it for a while, but then they discussed how we were all broken, and we could not be fixed. They painted a very hopeless situation, and I couldn't stick with it anymore. We tried another church, but it just didn't stick.

Then, a friend of ours started to talk about her journey into rediscovering her own faith, and we started to listen to what she had to say and talk about reconnecting with our faith. Then, our friend offered to do a Bible study at her house. So, we bought Bibles (yep, that's how far outside of our faith we were) and started a Bible study. This past Tuesday was the first actual Bible study, but we have also been trying to do devotionals every night.

It's funny how the readings speak to you. During Bible study, we discussed Matthew where God spreads the word of God, and we are responsible for how we receive the Word. For a long time, I was the thorny bush, I didn't let the seed grow where it was planted. Now, I have shallow soil, waiting for it to be enriched again to provide proper nutrients to my seeds so I can let my faith grow. It was very symbolic of where I am in my journey. Friday night, I also read a passage where Jesus discussed the two most important commandments are to love God and to love your neighbor because these two things are the essence of the other commandments. The devotional discussed this is also part of loving yourself because we are to treat others as we treat ourselves...and most of us tend to not treat ourselves pretty well. However, it's not about focusing on yourself and your imperfections...it's about focusing on God and others, and your improvements will come. Maybe that's been my problem this whole time. There's been this type of selfishness in trying to work on myself, and if I just focus on my relationship with God and have Him guide me though this journey, then I will achieve my goals.

I'm excited to see where this journey takes me.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Don't think because I haven't been blogging, I haven't been thinking about blogging. It's been quite the journey over the last couple of weeks as I have been really sick (I got a stomach bug twice), which has significantly hindered my journey. However, it's given me a lot of time to reflect. I've been thinking about what has been holding me back, and what would help make this journey more successful.

The first thing I need to do is start doing things for me. Yesterday, I rearranged my accuse so it would be more me and less like the previous occupant. Holding back is something I've always been good at, and I think I need to come out of my shell a little more. I think this also includes documenting my journey. This is blogging, instagraming (can that be a verb?), journaling....figuring out some way to hold myself accountable and, as a fortunate side effect, try to inspire others.

Part of my journey is finding a good, well-balanced, me, not just a thinner, hotter me (but that's going to be a bonus). Therefore, I have joined in a Bible study to assist in fulfilling my spiritual side. I do this every Tuesday and then have a devotional I read at nightly. It's been helping me connect with my spiritual side, and I am a lot more fulfilled than I was - and it's only been a week!

Mainly, I'm going to be posting a lot, doing some product reviews, and documenting exactly what I do, what I eat, and what life is like to hold me accountable, help me remember where I came from, and hopefully inspire some people along the way. That means this blog is going to turn in to much more than just craft stuff, but there will still be some crafty stuff. I really need to get back into my crafts, too.

Really, I need to get my life together. I have virtually no energy, and I never want to do anything. This has to change...I have to get back into it. And, it starts now.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Clearly I've done so well on my resolutions. In case you missed it, that's sarcasm. I have just been stuck in this rut I was hoping the new year would give me the friction I needed to move out of it. While I haven't done well, I haven't done badly either. I've been very stagnate....in all areas. I work and I sleep. I'm so emotionally drained when I come home that I don't do much.

In order to kick myself into gear, eat my last chocolate chip cookies, and drink my last soda, I have joined Shaun T's CIZE accountability group for the month. I think this will give me the motivation I need to make some sustainable habits. It will help develop consistency in exercising and eating well for sure. This is great because it coincides with Lent, which is something I want to go back to. I have kind of strayed from religion/spirituality, and I want to get back in touch with that side of myself...but that's another blog post.

More importantly, I need to stop hiding. That's why I think this group is so good for me. I need to participate in it and open up instead of shutting it down. That's why I don't blog, that's why I don't stay consistent, and that's, ultimately, why I don't succeed.

It's about stepping out of the box, not accepting excuses, and putting my long term self in front of my short term feelings. No longer do I let other people, feelings, and temporary situations control my life. I'm so tired of being in this same spot day after day, week after week, month after month. Now is the time to change.

Tonight, I toast my old self (with my McDonald's coke) for all that she has taught me and shown me. Tonight, I sit on the branch, like the caterpillar, and take one last look at the sunset. Tomorrow, I go into my cocoon, and, in the end, I will emerge as the butterfly.

Friday, January 1, 2016

Have you heard of the concept of picking a word that you are going to think about and live for the next twelve months? I have thought about this for some time, and the word that immediately came to mind and I've been ruminating about is "intention."

This means being intentional about what I put in my mouth.

This means being intentional about exercising.

This means being intentional about what I do in my free time.

This means being intentional about my job.

I am going to start posting additional things on here other than craft projects. Don't get me wrong, it will still be predominately craft projects, but I need somewhere to post progress, thoughts, recipes, things other than crafts....or in addition to crafts.

The bottom line is I plan on posting more, including more about my life. This will help keep me accountable. So, here is my plan of attack:

I am going to plan meals on Friday and prep meals on Sunday.

I am going to complete the Jillian Michaels BodyShred program.

I am going to plan my week out on Sunday to prepare for the rest of the week.

2016 is my year of intention. Get ready.

Monday, December 14, 2015

I made it to day 9 of the 12 Days of Christmas. Hopefully I will make up for that with a few more Christmas projects before the end of the month. Today's project is a quick and easy one that took no time at all!

I used the curvy keepsake box to make them look like Santa. I got the idea from My Pink Stamper. She made the boxes and matching placemats. I did a few things differently with the belt, but I think they turned out really cute! I thought they would make the perfect Monday gift for my staff. They've been working hard this month, and I like giving them fun things.

I used two different color for the boxes, cherry cobbler and real red. The belt was made with the black glimmer paper, which I cut into a rectangle then glued it on and cut it to fit the curviness of the box. The buckle was made with a die from the Baker's Box frailest set and silver glimmer paper.

The box fits four hershey kisses perfectly. I used the candy cane kisses to make it a little more festive. I love how easy and simple the box is to put together. This is definitely the project to throw together as a last minute Christmas idea. I hope ya'll love it as much as I do!

Happy Craftin'!!!

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Today's project comes from the master herself, my mama! She has all of the creativity and makes super cute projects. Today, she made these ADORABLE Christmas tree treat holders. She made then for a swap with her Stampin' Up people in Texas, and they were a big hit.

I'm sad she didn't save one for me. She used the cutie pie thinlit die to create the box and the window. She cut out the little tag with the deco labels frame lit, stamped the sentiment, and put a few accessories. Isn't it just adorable! I love it so much!

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

I have all of my Christmas shopping done, and I am very excited about it because I an usually not this organized this early in December. Usually, I am a last minute kind of girl...not this year!! Now that I have my gifts, it's time to make the wrapping.

The four legged people in our family are just as important as the two legged ones. So, we have all of the puppies (they're really dogs, but they will always be puppies to me) to give gifts for. My oldest dog found her Christmas gift, and now she knows where it is and whines every time we go near the room. She's too smart for her own good!

All of the gifts need cards, and what better cards than dog themed ones!!

This is a little 3x3 card to put atop a package. I cut Old Olive cardstock, cut it 3x6, then folded it in half. I cut the bones out of scraps of the merry moments designer series paper and glued them to the front of the card.

For the opening, I positioned the bone die where I wanted it (at the angle) and ran the open card though the Big Shot. Make sure it's open otherwise you'll cut out both sides of the card, and you don't want that.

The white insert is cut at 2.75x2.75. I adhered it to the inside of the cars. To make sure it stamped perfectly, I closed the card and stamped the sentiment in versa mark ink to ensure the sentiment fit inside the bone. These took me NO TIME to make. It was really quick and simple.

Then, I put cherry cobbler embossing powder on the sentiment and heat embossed it. This could be cute for gift card holders or larger cards. I absolutely love this set and am so excited I got a chance to use it.