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“Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road;make me a fork, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me.” - Jim Elliot

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

a most highly treasured gift

We were at Bible Study yesterday. Talking at our table. Discussing how women in the church hurt one another. So much so that we walk out of a church. Or all churches. Or put up a wall so high that no woman will ever be able to hurt us, again. Or so we think. We are hurt within our isolation. We shut ourselves out of receiving fellowship and healing and discipleship. Someone asked, "Where is it that women meet in a group and don't get hurt?"

Honestly, I don't know. But what I do know is that we need each other. We bumble and fumble and make mistakes and bring along our past garbage. (Hippocampus, right?) But what I want you to know is that I think it is all worth it. It can take time. And sometimes a chunk of self-examination.Another friend recently reminded me of this blog post.She is giving her sisters-in-Christ another opportunity.And her friendship is a most highly treasured gift to me.

But she has decided to wipe the tears away. Reapply her mascara.Get in the car. And drive.

photography by Anthony Kaetzel

She is going tonight.
It is a fight for her.
She would much rather stay home.

But she knows this is good for her.
And perhaps...
Just maybe...
She'll meet someone.

Someone who will make her feel
Included.
Visible.
Befriended.
Not alone.

But as she packs her suitcase...
Tears flood her eyes.
Because she is not sure.
Because she is insecure.

Why would she think
It would be different this time?
That it is worth the risk?

She fears that she will sit alone.
And others will notice, but not reach out.
They will all be content to stay
In their warm cozy cliques.

And she will tell herself...
"See, I told you so.
Enough!
I am not trying anymore."

But she has decided to wipe the tears away.
Reapply her mascara.
Get in the car.
And drive.

She prays silently as she drives.
Asking God for something...
Wondering if it is wrong of her for wanting...
A friend.

And I have been praying for her.
Because I have been her.
And I will be there...
Waiting for her.

And I want her to know
There are others praying for her.
And they will be there...
Waiting for her.

She is going to a women's retreat tonight.
It is a fight for her.
But she will be glad
That she did not stay home.