April 10, 2007

Today, again i am thinking as if i have crossed all the limits of being frustrated. I don’t know what is happening to me but i just don’t like anything and anyone anymore. I don’t want to hang around with people, but, being alone, leads to the sad thoughts that are making me insane.

i feel like i am being betrayed in this life. i don’t know whom do i trust or rather shall i trust anyone? i do not know how to put an end to the bad dreams that i am having or shall i stop dreaming? i do not know how to put an end to what i am suffering from or shall i put and end to me itself?

i really can’t hold on to myself when i am stretched so far, and i am lost within myself and i cant make the right moves. But do i know making the right moves?

i keep on doing my daily things, i keep on meeting people, i keep on doing my work, but in the end i always end up hurting myself. And i want to know, why?

i know i have many questions in my mind, but when i try to find out what these are, i get lost somewhere. I get lost searching for the lost answers for the lost questions that i have. i am being killed by these questions like a cancer, and i feel i will find myself buried with the lost answers. Shall i go and take somebody’s help or shall i help me myself?

But who to go for help as i still have one question left: “do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, or do i trust nobody and live in loneliness?“