life is a time bomb

Summary:
Is revenge a constant companion in a vampire's life? “I’m not surprised that you are reading, love,” he explained. He looked down at the title again. “It’s…just the choice of book that worried me.”

1. life is a time bomb

She didn’t turn around. It wasn’t as if he wouldn’t come barging through the door at any moment.

“Rose! Where are-oh.” Emmett stood in the doorway, staring at Rosalie who was reading in the corner. He glanced over at the title of the book, and reeled backwards a few feet.

She looked up at him, annoyance clearly written all over her face. “Yes, I am reading. Or did you think I was only good for shopping?” she snapped. She turned back towards her book, hiding her face behind the pages. Emmett cautiously moved forward, careful not to do anything that might upset her. She was obviously in an unstable mood at the moment and even after decades of marriage, he still never knew what would set her off.

He plopped down on the bed next to her and lowered the book to her lap. He found her glaring at him and tried to fight back the urge to run. All Rosalie needed was a little love, that he knew. Whenever she was snippy, it was most likely her human memories working their way back into her conscience or another problem that had her irritated for the time being. Her mood swings usually were only temporary, unless someone did something to make them last longer.

“I’m not surprised that you are reading, love,” he explained. He looked down at the title again. “It’s…just the choice of book that worried me.” He gauged her reaction carefully, and fortunately she seemed to understand him. She even had a light smile on her lips. Emmett’s shoulders relaxed, content that her mood was improving.

“I was curious,” she stated. She let her copy of Frankenstein fall to the floor with a small swish of air. She snuggled into Emmett and closed her eyes momentarily.

Despite all of his insides begging for him to move around and have fun, he relished the rare moments when Rosalie and himself could just be alone without a person tapping into their thoughts or a noisy human in the room below. Even thought he loved both Edward and Bella, privacy was something rarely experienced in the Cullen mansion.

“It had me thinking,” she suddenly said. Emmett glanced down at her, forgetting what they were talking about before. “The book. It had me thinking whether we were doing the right thing.” A list of topics ran through Emmett’s head in the next few seconds. Right thing? The new car they were going to buy? Getting married again? Maybe she wanted to change the location? “About changing Bella, Emmett,” she clarified, recognizing the confused expression on his face.

“But you never wanted Bella to be changed,” Emmett reminded her. Rosalie just rolled her eyes and pulled her knees up to her chest.

“I know,” she muttered. She glanced pleadingly at Emmett for him to understand. “But that was because I knew she was choosing wrong. She has so much to live for and she’s throwing it all away.” Emmett just nodded, realizing for the first time that Rosalie was jealous of Bella. The idea came as a shock to him. “But that’s not my reasoning this time,” she whispered, interrupting his thoughts. She gripped his hand and squeezed as tight as she could. “The horrible monster that Frankenstein created, in the book, it started out innocent. Then it turned evil with isolation from the rest of the world. It went on a murdering rampage against Frankenstein and everything he ever loved,” she explained. She looked up at Emmett, fear evident in her eyes. Her fear made Emmett uneasy, especially since Rosalie was never afraid. “What if the same thing happens to us, Emmett? We start out innocent, trying not to feed off humans. But what if our isolation from the real world makes us go insane? What if we try to take revenge on the people who wouldn’t accept us into their world? Do you know why we have to live the way we do? It’s because the humans will run after us with pitchforks and torches if they find out what we are.” Her voice grew shaky and, if possible, her face became even more white. “We all may go insane, Emmett!” she whimpered. “Why are we playing God and bringing another into this time bomb?”

They were both silent for a while: Emmett trying to absorb everything Rosalie was saying and Rosalie trying to suppress the images of a horrid monster made of spare body parts. Yellow in skin tone with pointed teeth with her face…

The feel of Emmett squeezing her hand woke her from her trance, and saw him smiling down at her. “That’s never going to happen, Rose,” he whispered. She looked at him, about to voice her doubts. He placed a finger of her lips. “Wait,” he mumbled. He looked out the window, gathering his thoughts. “You know why we chose this life,” he started. “To do some good for the world and try to fix what we have become. Most of us have tasted human blood, but...” His eyes were boring into hers as she spoke and she waited patiently for him to continue. “We are fighting what we are. Sure, we may slip on once in a while-”

“You say that as though it’s okay,” she hissed. She narrowed her eyes at him and Emmett tried to rephrase his thoughts.

“What I meant was that we are trying to be better then what we are,” he insisted. “We are trying not be the creatures humans fear. And everyday we resist, we become stronger. Sure, the isolation is tough. But we all have each other. And this life also throws some exciting adventures at us,” he chuckled. Bella, James, the Volturi, the werewolves, the newborns… “We aren’t going to cave,” he persisted. “We’re not going to get to lonely. That monster, he had nothing. His own creator turned his back on him. But not us. We have family and friends to support us. We’re not technically alive, but we’re the next best thing.”

Rosalie was completely still for a few minutes, and Emmett was worried he angered her somehow. But she smiled at him, and his dead heart seemed to leap from his body. She kissed his cheek and stood up from the bed.

“Thank you,” she whispered before running out of the room and out of the house. She some time alone to just think.

Her worries were abated for the moment, and her head was clear. She sat down on a boulder in the forest and just let the wind blow around her.

Bella wasn’t a sister to her yet. In fact, she still harbored some anger, maybe even hatred, at the girl. But even so, if things turned out the way Emmett described, then it will all turn out the best it could. And maybe one day, Rosalie would be able to abandon her hard feeling towards Bella and treat her like a sister. Maybe.

But at the moment she was fine with the way things were. Even if she wasn’t human and could never be ever again, she was content. Content until she felt the familiar burning starting in her throat. She just grinned and jumped up to hunt.