Thursday, October 29, 2015

THE FIRST GUY I HOOKED UP WITH WAS ON ELLEN!

If you've been following my blog since the beginning, you know I make some questionable choices from time to time. There's one in particular that I want to discuss, because I was just reminded of it, on national television.

Let's rewind to 2010. I'm 19, just starting to come out and only my siblings and closest friends know I'm gay. I was also seeing my amazing on-campus counselor Lauren every Friday afternoon. On one Friday, I decided to tell Lauren that I had met a guy on OkCupid, who was a model out in LA. We were texting each other on a pretty frequent basis and we were Skyping about 4 nights a week, for up to several hours at a time.

I just thought it was fun, but I knew in the back of my mind that it wouldn't go anywhere. To be realistic, he lived across the country and I was focused on school. I had never done anything with a guy before and this whole experience was so liberating, because I was finally able to flirt with a guy and release years of emotions that I kept bottled. He was hot and I was enjoying the giddy feelings I got while flirting with this kid through the computer screen.

Well about six weeks after texting and skyping, he told me he was flying to FL to visit me. I was like 'sayyyy whaaaat?!' So fast-forward, I agree to this and he flies cross-country to live with me in my dorm room, against my counselor and best friend's better judgment. He and I went out on a date or two, took a weekend trip to Tallahassee and he was my first gay kiss. The first date we went on (which was my first date I had ever been on in my life) was to the movies. How cliché, right? haha We saw the absolute worst horror movie called My Soul to Take. It was painfully bad.

I was ready for him to leave once the end of the week rolled around. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but he didn't fly across the country just for me. He's a die hard FSU fan and attends the football games every year, so he was coming to FL regardless. Our personalities just didn't click and school was just starting to get intense at the time, since I was finishing up my gen ed classes. After he left for Cali, we Skyped one more time before I cut communication between us. I basically said the long-distance wasn't going to work and I needed to focus on myself, school, socializing and my future. The last image I ever had, embedded in my mind, was him weeping on our video chat while I was telling him this.

It was awkward, so I clicked out of the chat and carried on with my life.

Five years later, I see him while watching the Ellen show the other day! haha I was like 'wait, why does that kid look so familiar, where do I know him from??" As soon as I made the connection, I dropped the remote and busted out laughing. He's "Umberto" in the light blue button-down.

Welcome!

I'm a kid at heart, figuring out life and having epiphanies along the way. This blog documents my journey over the past seven years, as I grow from the shy, closeted guy I once was, into a complete badass. Website: jeremymannino.com