This past Monday was supposed to be my first day back to work after a two week break. I had big plans. Plans that were ditched sometime late Sunday night when the Little Butt succumbed to the Creeping Crud that’s been going around, puking all over himself, his crib, his room, and his lovey, Silky Bear. (This is reason 597 why our next child will have several matching loveys, each one suffering equal wear and tear.)

By 11:30, I knew a 5:30 wake-up time *might* not be a reality. The real reality turned out to be exhaustion, nausea, and a headache that I knew didn’t stem from the child who’s cooking.

Sometime around 9am, my BFF set a text Rx. She knows me well, because I was already fretting over the to-do list that wouldn’t be getting done.

Her prescription?

Be KIND to yourself! And say only positive/true things to yourself and those around you! This, too, shall pass.

No one will die or suffer too greatly if I sit on the couch and watch cartoons with my sick kiddo most of the day. (Well, the house will suffer, but we’ll live.) In fact, if I’d listened to my body sooner, perhaps I wouldn’t have gotten run down enough to get sick.

Whether it’s illness, exhaustion, or something else yanking your chain today, I hope you take this Rx to heart. If you treat yourself well, you’ll be better equipped to help everyone else in your sphere.

All my life I’ve been a goal-setting girl. I’ve experienced a perhaps unnatural enjoyment of the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day, mulling over my plans for the coming year and dreaming about how fabulous it will be.

This personality quirk served me well through my single years, and perhaps even in the first year of my marriage. But once I threw a kid into the mix I started learning that, while valuable and vital, goals are a thing a mother must hold in an open hand. Interpreted, this means that while I might have big plans, life happens and allowances will be made according to my priorities. For now, career goals must take a backseat to the needs of my family, most specifically a busy toddler.

So I’ve been wondering—how do goals fit into 2015 for me? I can’t just not make them. This is how I’m hardwired. Goal-setters and list-makers get more done, or so I’ve been told and willingly believe.

The past few weeks the idea has been crystallizing of focusing not on what I want to do, but on what I want to do better. Part of me feels that this may become my most successful year yet, because I’m seeking inner change, not just outward accomplishments.

And Mom, these coming statements might not be measurable, but I’m trusting that I’ll be smart enough to know when I’m slipping off track.

In 2015, I want to:

look for the good in my days rather than complain about the difficulties.

fully embrace motherhood rather than barely enduring the difficult moments.

do more things that energize me, and for that specific reason: eat well, rest fully, exercise, plan retreat days, listen to more music, go on more dates, read inspiring books, visit friends.

buy less stuff. Before each purchase ask: Will this item will improve my life or increase my joy?

ask for help rather than wallow when I feel helpless.

limit social media.

read and write more rather than settling for TV when I’m tired.

I may add more to this list, or tweak it, as the year progresses. But for now, this is enough. It’s a different kind of New Year’s list for me, but I’m ready for the change. I hope that when the year falls to a close I find that this list has helped change me.

When you read this, I’ll either be in a location that has little cell service and no internet, or will have returned from said location. Either way, as I prepare to take a family vacation, the one thing I’m most excited about is that we will be unplugged.

My media addiction has been bothering me recently. Then, not two minutes ago, I came across this video (on Facebook, of course) and became more anxious than ever to head for the hills.

Please take a moment to watch this video. Technology is a blessing. I love that Facebook allows me to stay in touch with family and friends all over the country. Text makes life so much simpler…and so much more difficult. Sometimes I wish there were an “off” switch or an “out of the office” reply for the messages that flood my phone.

I need to unplug because I need to be happy with silence once again, to enjoy a book, to play a game with my family, to just be.

Yesterday afternoon a customer called, alerting me to a significant mistake I had made in her credit charge three weeks earlier. She spoke kindly and with empathy, but as I looked at my records, I discovered that through one wrong keystroke I had indeed overcharged her a significant amount of money.

Thanks to the credit processing program I use, the problem was easily corrected. I’m simply out that significant amount of money I had assumed was mine.

While I love statistics, numbers and accounting are not my strengths.

This happened once before (although not such an expensive mistake that time). In fact, I remember it was at the same exact point in my first pregnancy. I suppose that means I can blame it on the baby, but part of me thinks I should be in complete control of my mental faculties.

I don’t forgive myself easily.

When I told my sister text-brigade (made up of three sisters and two adoptees) of my mistake and my guy’s gracious response, I told them it would be easier had he been angry with me. They reminded me that I’m being hard enough on myself and that his response was the correct, loving one.

Kind of like God.

Although he didn’t say it at the time, I could picture my guy saying, “It’s only money.” And it is. The stuff doesn’t grow on trees, but neither is it the essence of life.

I’ve always been a Romans 8:28 girl, but recently I’ve found myself getting caught up in the day-to-day living so much that I forget how God truly cares for me. He’s in the little things, too, and he’s working it all out for my good. While he doesn’t cause my mistakes, like a loving parent he allows me to make them so I can grow up. And, like a loving parent, he’s there to comfort me and help me move forward as I deal with the consequences.

He shows me mercy and grace. And those are the exact qualities he wants in my life. Sometimes in order to show mercy and grace to others, I must first learn to give mercy and grace to myself.

Rather than cry over my mistakes (that’s so yesterday afternoon), I’m going to use every reminder of this goof-up to show myself mercy. And, while I’m at it, I’ll also use it as a reminder to slow down a bit during the next six months.

I can’t draw worth a darn, yet I hail from a large family that boasts at least three artists. As in, one of them taught art and draws for fun these days (her trademark during family road-trips were caricatures of the drivers we passed), one who majored in art and makes his living that way, and one who just drew for fun but created enough nice works to hang them in her home.

Can you see why I feel a bit insecure about this?

It’s not for lack of trying that I can’t draw. My mom placed us in private art lessons during middle school with a fabulous local teacher. Well, we thought she was fabulous. She had one of those personalities that you either loved or hated. For me, art lessons in her sunroom studio were a treasured hour each week.

And yet, I can’t draw. Are you seeing a pattern?

Sometime in early May, My Guy and I were browsing around Barnes & Noble while sister number three (mentioned above) watched the Little Butt. As I nosed through the bargain section, I noticed a doodling kit. Hmmm, I thought. Anyone can learn to doodle, right? While I didn’t purchase the kit, I did jump on Pinterest that evening and do a search for doodling. Which led to Zen Doodle. Which led to Zentangle.

The next day, I was back in B&N, flipping through the art books and feeling quite refined. After all, cultured people shop that section, right? I grabbed a stack of Zentangle books and headed to the café. Coffee in hand, I finally settled on One Zentangle a Day and a sketchbook.

You can read all about the Zentangle method and its creation by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas here. But in essence, to create a Zentangle, you first learn different tangles (some call them patterns), then work them into a random piece of art on a 3 ½ by 3 ½ inch tile. Here are a few of my early works:

To create a Zentangle takes about 30 minutes. The Zen aspect is the idea that one loses all sense of time while tangling. Some view this as an opportunity to meditate, but for me it’s specifically to unwind, relax, and be still. I’m not too great at being still.

The proper tangling tools include tiles, a pencil, and a black Pigma Micron pen in size 01. But as I got more and more addicted, I added pens in sizes 005, 03, and 05 for when I need finer or thicker lines. I even went all crafty and sewed up this cute pen holder to keep the various sizes in order.

The heart I featured in my title picture is what is called Zentangle Inspired Art, or ZIA. I’ve created several of these to use as note cards for friends or simple doodles in my favorite planner.

Zentangle truly is something anyone can do. I’m quite pleased with my choice of starter book, but if you want to give this a try and feel like you need an instructor, you can find a find a Certified Zentangle Teacher (CZT) in your area here. Again, the One Zentangle a Day book makes self-teaching pretty simple, but you might prefer a different method than me.

I hope you give Zentangle a try! It makes me proud of myself and helps me relax, and I’d love the same for you.

Seven years ago my insecurities paralyzed me to the point of awkwardness. I didn’t date. My attempts at small talk fizzled in moments. Outside of my family, I had one or two friends with whom I could really be myself. My world was small.

Seven years ago I began my journey with Premier Designs Jewelry. The previous October I had completed my BA in English, and the following months found me applying for every local position in my field. Being an introvert (or so I thought), nothing sounded sweeter than sitting alone in an office or cubicle tearing apart another’s written work and preparing it for publication, proverbial red pen in hand.

During my journey of the past seven years, I’ve discovered that I am most certainly not an introvert. I love people. I need people. And I would shrivel up and die if I had to be content with just my laptop and those four walls staring down at me.

But I digress.

Opening for business on Monday, January 8th, 2007, my plan was to use my Premier business to tide me over until I landed a “real job.” However, I quickly fell in love with the jewelry and loved sharing it with the women I met.

To date, I have given away over $100,000.00 in free jewelry.

Yes, you read it correctly—100 grand. That’s exciting. But even more exciting are the relationships I’ve made, and the personal growth I’ve experienced.

Celebrating a promotion in 2010 with two of my mentors

Today, I can’t count the number of friends I’ve made along the way. I honestly believe that without the confidence Premier has given me, I would never have met my husband on eHarmony because fear would have paralyzed me. Without Premier, I wouldn’t have felt it my right to be a mom with a career that, while not for everyone, to me is very fulfilling. Motherhood in itself is highly challenging, but I knew that I personally would need additional challenges in my life.

I’ll be the first to admit that the direct sales industry has suffered much criticism, and some of it is well-deserved. Relationships have been damaged when representatives abuse family and friends in the pursuit of establishing their businesses. Feelings are hurt. People expect to get rich quickly while doing little or no work, and are disenchanted when they “fail.” People make mistakes. Companies make mistakes.

And yet, I can’t think of an industry I’d rather be affiliated with.

Think about it—how is direct sales different from any other type of organization out there? Everyone makes mistakes. In every line of work there are people and companies who make unethical or unthoughtful choices. And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that everyone is in sales in one form or another. You’re either selling your knowledge, your skills, your time, or a product.

It’s not the industry that is the problem—it’s the character of a handful of individuals inside the industry and the fact that as humans we tend to remember our bad experiences with people in this industry rather than our good ones, even though the good outweighs the bad many times over.

The purpose of this post is in no way intended to recruit or promote my business. It’s simply to celebrate a milestone anniversary and all the rewards. If you are looking for a challenge or could use some hardcore personal growth, starting a business is a great way to accomplish both. But starting a direct sales business is a more affordable, safer way to accomplish the same things. Curious? Find a company you love with products you’re passionate about and give it a try. Just keep your character intact so you don’t join the ranks of the annoying.

As for me, I’m eternally grateful for the people who introduced me to Premier, the people who have mentored and encouraged me, and for the pressure my career puts on me to grow into a better person. These are seven years I wouldn’t trade for anything.