The Yard Milkshake Bar

Listen up, Gulf Coast. It is officially Halloween fall and that can only mean one thing. Colorful leaves? Ha! No. Cooler temps? Not even close. Flannel and boots? Only if you’re interested in heat stoke.

No. Fall in on the Emerald Coast means the tourists have nearly vanished and the locals can now emerge from their homes! It’s time for us to take back our towns and enjoy the hush of the off season.

Let me tell you a story about a man who convinced his wife to try the hip new ice cream joint in Gulf Shores, Alabama in the middle of July.

“Honey, I heard they pile an entire piece of CHEESECAKE on TOP of a massive milkshake!”

An entire piece of cheesecake, you say? Hmm. Go on.

“There’s a milkshake with a heap of edible cookie dough the size of your head nestled on top.”

Done. So, it didn’t take much convincing.

However, let me reiterate: it was JULY and tourists FLOCK to trendy places like this. A friend told me it took her an hour to get her milkshake when she visited. My thoughts? Bring it on.

They’ll tell you right as you approach the line that it will be about thirty minutes to reach the ordering counter and another hour or so to receive your order. Jesus take the wheel.

I saw the glimmer of reluctance in my husband’s eyes, but an Allen never backs down.

Standing in line, you have a clear view of the delectable treats that roll out to the anxious patrons. Do you see that BROWNIE? Just plopped on top of a chocolate milkshake like a little miracle.

Once the line snakes inside, you are greeted with glorious air conditioning and a menu.

Your options include ice cream, cookie dough, or milkshakes. My advice? Go big or go home with a specialty milkshake.

The menu offers a section to build your own milkshake masterpiece. I was locked in on the “Cookie Dough Delicious,” but Blake went the “choose your own adventure” route.

You will also need to decide whether you want the pint-size or the quart-size milkshake. Basically 6700 calories versus 9200 calories. Does it really matter at this point?

The anticipation may kill you after placing your order, so be sure to occupy your time by honing your knot tying skills.

After a mere 45 minutes, Blake’s banana milkshake concoction emerged and the onlookers gasped. Piper let out an adorable “OOOOH!” and everyone giggled. Is there anything more pure than the sparkle in a child’s eyes when they see ice cream?

Blake’s peanut butter chocolate banana thing was truly a work of art.

Piper gave it two big thumbs up.

Hello lover. My friends, I need you to understand that I would wait in line for thirteen hours for this beauty if I had to. The mound of cookie dough, the chocolate syrup, the creamy vanilla ice cream… I could cry.

Piper is the only human who wouldn’t lose a hand reaching for my milkshake.

Absolute euphoria.

We’re busy, dad.

I waited to post this until September for a reason. The masses have begun retreating and our home is slowly becoming a delightful little ghost town. It’s time to visit these typically jam-packed businesses and maybe not wait two hours for a milkshake.