Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 1281 - 1290 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes: 1281 of 3566

How doth the VAX's C compiler
Improve its object code.
And even as we speak does it
Increase the system load.
How patiently it seems to run
And spit out error flags,
While users, with frustration, all
Tear their clothes to rags.

Freebsd Fortunes: 1282 of 3566

How doth the VAX's C-compiler
Improve its object code.
And even as we speak does it
Increase the system load.
How patiently it seems to run
And spit out error flags,
While users, with frustration, all
Tear all their clothes to rags.

Freebsd Fortunes: 1283 of 3566

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're
on.

Freebsd Fortunes: 1284 of 3566

How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: "We'll fix it in software."
How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: "We'll document it in the manual."
How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None: "The user can work it out."

Freebsd Fortunes: 1285 of 3566

"How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being
carried by a waiter at a nice party?"
Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors
d'oeuvre. If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell
what's inside, you take one, bite off about two-thirds of it, then
say: "This is cheese! I hate cheese!" Then you put the rest of it
back on the tray and bite another one and go, "Darn it! Another
cheese!" and so on.
-- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"

Freebsd Fortunes: 1286 of 3566

How much does it cost to entice a dope-smoking UNIX system guru to
Dayton?
-- Brian Boyle, UNIX/WORLD's First Annual Salary Survey

Freebsd Fortunes: 1287 of 3566

How to become a sysop:
I grew a beard, started wearing only t-shirts and jeans, and
developed a surly attitude. The group accepted me, and I've never
worked a full day in my life since then.
-- rho/slashdot

Freebsd Fortunes: 1288 of 3566

How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.

Freebsd Fortunes: 1289 of 3566

HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:
#1040 Your income tax refund cheque bounces.

Freebsd Fortunes: 1290 of 3566

HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY:
#15 Your pet rock snaps at you.