Adrian Chen

Let's hope Jim Carrey at least dropped Jenny an email before tweeting today that "Jenny and I have just ended our 5 yr relationship." But they were so cute together! Or something.

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Yes, that shaking you just felt was the world collectively sobbing at the news that their favorite wacky celebrity couple called it quits. (Or it might have just been another goddamn earthquake.) Now we can look forward to a lot of weird stories of Jim Carrey hitting on women in bars. And Jenny McCarthy will have more time to help spread the joy of measles to the kids of scared parents she's doing her best to convince that vaccines gave her son autism. (They didn't.)

Oh, good, Oprah is going to give Jenny McCarthy a talk show, because she wants your kid to die of…
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Oh, and People magazine? Meet the celebrity break-up tweet. Stop printing and become an iPad app whose only function is to automatically retweet these tweets, as you are now officially irrelevant. As 89 year-old White House reporter Helen Thomas lamented to the Daily Beast, when talking about a different celebrity's twitter presence:

Thomas is naturally skeptical of the new media and all the Facebooking and tweeting. "I think we're all suffering from the real lack of true communication," she said. "We can be ignored totally-almost. [The celebrity] feels they have other ways."