Writing

Last week’s episode of the CW’s Jane the Virgin featured a subplot that addressed postnatal depression in men. In brief, after choosing to stay home with his newborn daughter, Rogelio (Jane’s father) claims to have developed male postpartum depression (paternal postnatal depression or PPND).

Moms hold a variety of beliefs that stress us out and squash our joy. Beliefs about who we should be and how we should feel. Beliefs about how we should work and parent and practice self-care. Beliefs about what we should get done. Beliefs about what we must expect from ourselves.

Many of Emma Basch’s clients feel massive pressure to “lean in” in all areas of their lives. And if they don’t move up at work, be fully involved in their child’s school, manage their household and have an active social life, they feel a profound sense of failure.

In planning my first blog post of 2018, I’ve been thinking a lot about intentions, and specifically about why I started Maternity Matters. My goal in penning this blog was to give voice to the many nuanced aspects of perinatal mental health that are often difficult, painful, or uncomfortable to discuss. To that end, I wanted to start the year in line with that intention by highlighting an issue that should make us all deeply uncomfortable and deserves attention. Specifically, I want to address the enormous racial disparities in perinatal health outcomes, and share some thoughts on how to tackle this problem.

Ready to give up the ubiquitous – but rather inaccurate – term “work-life balance” this year? Dr. Emma Basch joins us again on the Mindful Return blog to offer her preferred alternative to the concept: embracing the idea of “swaying.” Here’s Dr. Basch with 8 concrete suggestions that will help you feel more confident about that working mama juggling act.

Last week, I spoke about guilt in the context of sibling transitions. But, of course, guilt is everywhere in the perinatal context, and the notion of “mommy guilt” is pervasive and pernicious.

From pregnancy to parenting, and everywhere in between, our culture is rife with judgmental messages and unrealistic expectations. We are supposed to love being pregnant, have the perfect birth experience, exclusively breastfeed, make our own organic baby food, attend every soccer game, and lean in at work. What a set up for endless guilt!

Guilt is present in so many aspects of expanding a family and is something I speak to clients about with great frequency. However, like most things in the perinatal sphere, guilt is deeply steeped in shame. For that reason, I find that many of my clients have trouble speaking openly about it or joke about it to mask what they are really feeling. In an effort to encourage an open and honest conversation about that guilt, here are four examples of how that guilt arises when expanding your family.

In three days families all around the country will gather together to celebrate Thanksgiving, marking the start of the holiday season. While this can be a joyous time of year for so many, it can be painful one. In my clinical practice, I work with many women who have experienced pregnancy loss or who are coping with infertility. For them, this is often a time of year marked by unacknowledged grief, insensitive comments, and various emotional landmines.

Last week, Time magazine’s cover story “The Goddess Myth: How a Vision of Perfect Motherhood Hurts Moms” spoke eloquently about the impact of mom-shaming and how an extreme emphasis on “natural” birthing and motherhood leads to tremendous guilt, shame, and sadness in new moms. This article got me thinking a lot about language, specifically the words we use to talk about birth and parenting

In the last few weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about the language we use to talk about abortion. There is a lot of focus on when an abortion is “acceptable” (life of the mother is threatened, rape, incest), when a fetus may or may not feel pain, and when life begins. This highly polarized language is extremely problematic as it implies that the choice to terminate a pregnancy can be boiled down to an overly simplified belief structure.

ABC’s “Black-ish” is no stranger to tackling tough topics in ways that manage to be creative and impactful, while somehow remaining funny and tremendously accessible. The most recent episode featured a powerful story line centered around Rainbow “Bow” Johnson’s struggles with postpartum depression (PPD) after giving birth to her son Devante.

Earlier this month Bernie Sanders and 16 other Democrats in the Senate have introduced a “Medicare-for-All” single-payer health care bill that would offer comprehensive reproductive health care and expand access to abortions by eliminating the Hyde Amendment, which restricts federal funding for abortion services.

In continued recognition of NICU AWARENESS MONTH, I’m focusing this week on how to take care of your emotional wellbeing during a NICU stay. In addition to drawing from my clinical experience, I am especially grateful to have had some NICU moms weigh in on this piece. Meagan Owensby Garibay is a former NICU nurse and mom of two children who both spent time in the NICU stays. Seema Aghera is a mother of three girls and experienced a NICU stay with her youngest daughter. I am also speaking from my personal experience as a NICU mom. My NICU baby celebrated a birthday this month so it is also in honor of her that I write this.

Earlier this week during an interview on the “Dr. Oz” show, Ivanka Trump revealed a personal battle with postpartum depression. She joins a chorus of celebrities speaking out about their experiences and bringing much needed attention to an issue that impacts millions of women and families each year. While I applaud anyone willing to speak about perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, I can’t help but note the absurdity in the timing of her revelation.

September is Neonatal Intensive Care Awareness (NICA) Month. Every year approximately 10-15% of all babies born in the United States spend some time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit(NICU). Reasons for NICU admissions vary but can include prematurity, birth defects, breathing problems, infections, low blood sugar, and seizures.

Imagine for a moment, that you are at your annual medical check up. What if, in addition to asking about your diet, taking your vitals, and conducting routine labs, your doctor also asked about your emotional health? And what if, when you said you had some concerns about your mood, your doctor walked you down the hall to meet with the therapist embedded in her practice. This is integrated mental health care!

Rounding out my series on traumatic birth experiences are some tips on how to best support a friend or loved one after a birth trauma. I also offer some suggestions for OB’s, midwives, and other birth support professionals on how to offer more supportive care. But first, some REAL examples culled from clients (they have given me permission to share their experiences) of things that were said to them by their medical teams and loved ones.

In this episode of the Psych Central Show, hosts Gabe Howard and Vincent M. Wales welcome guest Dr. Emma Basch. Dr. Basch is a licensed clinical psychologist as well as the author of PsychCentral’s Maternity Matters blog. She joins our hosts (two childless men, it should be noted) to discuss the many aspects of postpartum depression. Listen in to learn some surprising facts and statistics about postpartum depression, including how common it is. Learn how it differs from “regular” depression, the ties it has to anxiety, the known causes of postpartum depression, and several suggestions for how to treat it.

For many women who have experienced a traumatic birth, contemplating a subsequent pregnancy is fraught. This can be true for those who have experienced continued post-traumatic symptoms, as well as for those who’ve felt relatively at peace for some time. In my experience, with a lot of planning and proper supports, it is possible to have a positive birth experience after a traumatic one. Of course, as pregnancy and birth are unpredictable, it may not be the birth you envisioned, but it could still be a reparative and healing experience.

Last week I began to address the topic of traumatic births and postpartum PTSD. This week I want to delve more into the emotional experiences of new moms following a traumatic birth. In my work with postpartum clients, I’ve observed that these reactions often come in waves, with some shifts and changes with time and distance from the trauma. Below are some examples culled from my clinical practice.