Stuck sitting on the toilet!
I’m a Woman! I’m a Woman!
A Woman Got Dammit!

How come my mommy couldn’t be the Modern Day Madre back in the day?
I had to learn about my womanhood in the middle school sex ed. Classroom.
Like 12 and 13 made you grown and cramps would come like hard days at track practice
Or earthquakes rocking boulders down avalanches.
Face of 16 yet 26 rising on the physical
Slow aged like cheese and still spiritual bound like the immortals.
Who are you girl, bleeding from the womb?
Bleeding in the resurrection and procreation tomb and room?
No pains do you whine?
All that blood for seven days, yet you do not cry of dyin’?
What wrong with you girl, Have you no life?
Who created these growing pains and why do we stop growing for life to become crises of midlife menopause of middle age.
Oh Time, Father Time. You Forsake us you bastard.
Coward you are!!
You Limit my Motherly womb of Nature with clocks that tick and tock
And bombs that drop with bloody hell on monthly week for majority of my life.
And every one of those 7 days, I find myself sitting on this toilet with my lady products,
Feeling like that teenage girl again first learning that it’s hit me!

Nights like this
I wish
….Rain drops would continue to fall. After work, take a shower & to our bed I would crawl.
Next to you is where I dream to lay. Hugging us close & forgetting about my day.
Kisses to cheeks.
Warm bodies under sheets.
We escape into our own world of love.
Lights off we breathe in the moons energy from above.
No words needed.
We intertwine our roots as the trees we seeded.
Flowering our love to bloom.
Seeds forming inside thy womb.
We’re too high to feel the worlds lows.
As the air flows.
We the mist.
Long days before, i yearned for your kiss.
But I lay awake, dreaming about nights like this.

When mankind has enough will power to decipher & unlock the codes to the love I possess, then maybe ill be free. Until then, I’ll continuously be misread & misunderstand because people will not know how I love, won’t understand me as an individual & what it takes to love a being such as myself.
Its always seen as I’m in it for myself, but, the greatest loves are best discovered in the dark or quietest of places & may not be expressed as deeply on the outside as it is touched on the inside.
Im a woman that’s not the best at showing my affection in a sensitive loving way because I’m a fighter. Instead of kisses I may slap the shit out of you, but I’m not doing that to be mean. Lol that means to me: I love you. Subtle aggression.
If I claim my stance in love, I’m there. As honest & faithfully open as I can be towards someone. It May always be seen as my interest is in someone or something else, but as truthful & honest as a person that i am… if my interests are elsewhere, my mouth would open up & say so, or I would just move on.
If a woman stays through so much emotional psychological bullshit from someone, it’s not because she’s stupid, though for some that is the case, but for the most part, the love in her heart & soul tells her that she’s strong enough to keep loving someone even when all they do is doubt her.

She knows her love will prevail.

She knows her love will prove them & their own doubts wrong.

Because she knows what unfair is & when someones own personal mind-filled doubts are pushed towards her as something being wrong with her instead of him.
She still believes, even more to get nauseous within her depths because these doubts keep rolling back in & she knows what the next few uneasy moments can bring from your words.

She just prays.

She knows that one day the light will shine on them like Gods last call into heaven for the Earths as the Sun explodes inside your brain like the ON switch to a lightbulb & you will realize my love for you.
I let my love ego talk confidently, even if I have to ignore the constant doubtful concerns as being less than nothing.
I’ll keep loving as though there’s just two of us in a room with nothing but our hearts to beat cohesively together as one rhythm & no brains emotion to tell us that love has shakeable trust & faith. Theres just LOVE…….