Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Turning 30

My Ariana - the best gift of all

If you follow me on instagram and twitter (username is milijana_ on both) you would have seen that I turned 30 about two months ago. I decided that spending it with my little girl was enough for me. And I've spent the last 2 months thinking about it. Who I am and who I want to be. What have I learnt? Well a lot.

My whole life changed with the birth of my daughter. I discovered a love in my heart that I never knew existed. I discovered selflessness and an urge to protect this beautiful, tiny person who depends on me. I have changed but I'm still exactly the same. I'm stubborn and headstrong. I'm a dreamer and a thinker and a planner and a list writer. I still question myself all the time and I suffer from guilt. Oh the guilt. Mothers guilt and daughters guilt and friend guilt.

My 20's have taught me to save a little bit. Even $10 from the casual job that earns you $60 a week. They have taught me to travel. Seeing new places is the greatest thing that money can buy. I have learnt that I don't need a lot of STUFF. To take a chance and make the most of each opportunity that presents itself, as it may not be possible again or any time soon. Or it may not be appropriate to my life circumstances later. To look after my health while it's good, not to try to repair it when it's "broken". To love those who love me. To be kind to myself, to forgive myself. To forget. To not dwell on the past or the mistakes I make. But to learn. To continue to teach myself new things and not overthink them.

6 comments:

Absolutely love the honesty of this post M. When you were describing yourself, it sounds exactly like me. The only difference is I'm still shallow and materialistic but I imagine that would change once I have a child.

As I face yet shitty news again today this post is a good reminder to me to take things as they come and things have a way of working themselves out (fingers crossed anyway!) And isn't it amazing what having children does in helping put things into perspective!

Beautiful post. When I turn 30, I'll be friendless in a new country, but I'll be with my husband who is my family. I would love to reflect as you have done here and see if I'd turn wiser in the next decade.