BEAUTY IN THE BROKENNESS: a blog on perspectives

I am simply fascinated by the beauty of the shedding bark of
the river birch trees in our yard, especially on a snowy day like today. Often I find a graceful scattering of
authentic river birch paper fanned out beneath the trees. I have even written a letter to my Dad, a
lover of nature, on one of these paper-thin pieces of bark. A quick bit of Google research reveals that
one of the reasons a river birch tree sheds is to allow rapid growth.

Yes, I can agree with that, growth is a letting go, a shedding
experience. And yes, often there is pain
involved in the growing.

Recently I had a dermatologist-recommended facial peel. I probably include “dermatologist
recommended” so that you will not think I am vain! The peel happened to be quite painful at
times. I experienced facial swelling, a
blotchy red rash, and intense itching. I
slept in a recliner for three nights to help reduce the swelling. Hmmm…what a metaphor as I was thinking of
writing this blog about peeling layers and the pain that can occur! I chuckle at the timing of things. So, my skin is now better. I do not plan any more peels…at least of the
“dermatologist-recommended” variety.

As a mom, I have often wanted our children to have a smooth
road…no bumps, no hurdles, no hurts. And yet, I know in my own life that it
isn’t on the smooth road that I grow and develop. What a joy to watch them grow
now as adults amidst struggle, to lean on each other amidst times of pain and
to experience life richly as they grow--not as measured by the chart attached
to the doorway that recorded their annual growth, but as they grow by living
authentically in the depth of their souls.

As part of a couple, my husband and I love and cherish the
smooth times, but we have also learned to embrace the difficult times. We want to know and experience the deeper
growth that can occur in struggle—in adjusting to a new city, in learning to
communicate more clearly, in praying through the night for the health of a
child, in sitting with a parent who is struggling for his last breath or in
taking on a new challenge together.

As a woman, I often wrestle with the concept of wanting it
all perfect. However, the “letting go”
of being perfect is a concept I want to accept.
Of course, any of you who know me know that being perfect is not true.
The struggle and desire for doing
things perfectly and wanting things
perfect has been true. I am learning the value of letting go. It seems that I have been learning this
concept for a while now, and that the beauty of letting go is now appealing to
me more than the mirage of perfection.
The freedom and beauty of accepting myself for who I am is enough.

What is it that you desire to let go of? Just as the birch tree says goodbye to its
bark, what is it that you would like to bid farewell? What is it that leaves you feeling
vulnerable? What if you chose to look at
vulnerability through a new lens? What
layers are you aware of that you could label—and shed? What pieces of brokenness do you wish to
hide? What beauty is waiting to be seen
within you as you let go of the unnecessary layers?

May our journey go deep to an inner peace as we shed an
outer layer or two.

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Throughout time the lotus flower has been a powerful spiritual symbol. A lotus has its roots in mud, at the bottom of streams and ponds. But despite its origins it grows to become the most beautiful flower. This enchanting flower symbolizes how we too can overcome the obstacles on our journey towards growth and becoming fully alive. A growth toward flourishing…

This has become the #1 question of the day anywhere I go…and the answer is rich and complicated.Bulgaria was beautiful, it was painful, it was exhilarating, it was vulnerable, it was fun, it was sad, it was heartwarming, it was heart-wrenching, it was full of laughter, it was uneasy, it was delicious, it was contemplative, it was challenging, it was funny, it was energizing. So, how does one even begin to answer?

My friend, Mary, and I are excited about exploring new frontiers together. What is your frontier for the 2018 year? I'm happy to share our next adventure with you. What is your frontier for the 2018 year?

This website and all its contents are intended to be educational and supportive. It is not to be considered a provision of therapy or counseling services.Submitted by Dianne Morris Jones, LMHC, CDWF who is an individual and couples therapist with Family Legacy Counseling.