Tag: alcohol

As I predicted, when I found out that MTV was sending a bunch of non-Itaian-speaking people to Italy for no reason other than their chosen social subculture has been stereotypically attributed to Italian-AMERICANS (having nothing at all to do with Italians in Italy), they can’t socialize with anyone but themselves, so the shows are entirely about the boring, redundant interactions between the housemates. Continue reading ““Jersey Shore” Italy: Walk Like A Duck”

“… In exchange for the new things to consider, maybe you could do me a favour some day and explain in one of your articles the benefit of having sex with almost complete strangers.”

I’m going to get around to that, and I’ve been thinking about that post ever since I read that request. In the meantime, I went out last night, and upon reflection, I think the situation’s actually worse than “just” wanting to have sex with almost complete strangers.

Tactical Observations

As we’ve discussed before, there are literally hundreds of thousands of women on the NYC dating scene. You can’t “throw a rock” without hitting a chick you might like to hook up with or that you might be ABLE to hook up with. Optimally, you’ll end up in a location where you like some chick and she likes you and y’all can mutually agree to have a good time together. If that’s not the case, then the likely scenario is that you see chicks that you’re physically attracted to that either aren’t interested in you or may actually actively dislike you as a person or at least dislike your presentation or what you’re bringing to the table. This is where “worse” comes in. 🙂

Lots of people would think that “She doesn’t like me as a person” or “She’s not physically attracted to me” would be a deterrent to guys. It’s actually merely a tactical observation. The goal remains the same… to “get on”. You’re not trying to make friends… You’re trying to get laid.

The reason I’m calling this “worse” than what Fishingrod was asking about is that in the scenario of meeting someone and messing with them within hours of ever seeing them in life, at least you can say that there was some kind of lust or mutual attraction that fueled the situation. If the chick’s not into you and you’re still interested in having sex with her, the motivation’s clearly one-sided desire-fulfillment.

Who Cares?

There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself, however, as I think about it right now… I’m SURE that there are lasting psychological effects to consistently interacting with women that don’t like you. There’s a “So what?” mentality that one develops, in regards to what women think. She doesn’t like you? “So what?”. She doesn’t want to have sex with you? “So what?”. She likes somebody else? “So what?”. She says she’s a lesbian? “So what?”. The only thing that matters is whether she’s gonna give you some or she isn’t. Continue reading “Making Friends vs. Getting Laid”

There’s been a lot of talk this week about what a guy should and shouldn’t do when his girl acts up. The majority of people who chimed in said “A man should *never* hit a woman”. Fewer people remarked “If she raises her hands like a man, she should be prepared to get dealt with like a man”. The way I see it… If you even have to THINK about fighting with your “significant other”, you’re dating the wrong person.

Here are my top 5 tips on how to NOT let your girl stress you out:

1) Get more girls

Did you ever notice that every time we hear about some kind of male vs. female violence, it’s always some dude that only has ONE chick? Think about that. When was the last time you heard of a guy that had multiple girlfriends getting into something physical with one of them? Never.

That’s because that guy has CHOICE. He has OPTIONS. If one chick’s trippin’ out, you just don’t talk to her until she gets her mind right. Case closed. *wiping hands* If she doesn’t get her mind right… Who cares? You’re still living the life you want to live, except SHE’S not involved in it.

Guys with one chick can’t afford this “I don’t need her, I’ll let the welfare feed her” mental state. When you remove a gal from the roster, it makes a huge difference whether you’re going from 4 girlfriends to 3 or from 1 girlfriend to 0. Zero Women is a state or condition that you want to avoid at all costs. Women come in handy from time to time, and it’s extremely stressful when you’re like “D-OH! Don’t Got None!”. Continue reading “How to NOT let your girl stress you out”

When a woman leaves you, you may feel heartbroken, depressed, wistful, horny, betrayed, disappointed… 🙁 any number of feelings, consecutively or simultaneously. Here are five tips on how to move on with your life, and learn to love again………

According to Webster’s, these are the definitions for id, ego and superego:

Id: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is completely unconscious and is the source of psychic energy derived from instinctual needs and drives

ego: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality

superego: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that is only partly conscious, represents internalization of parental conscience and the rules of society, and functions to reward and punish through a system of moral attitudes, conscience, and a sense of guilt

Now… I just had an interesting conversation the other night about these concepts based on my post “Alcohol Is No Excuse”. Basically, what I said in that post, without getting into the underlying psychology is that as long as you don’t completely incapacitate yourself with alcohol, you’re doing what you WANT to do when you’re drunk, and not some crazy, off-the-wall ish that “came out of nowhere”. Therefore, Alcohol is NOT an excuse for cheating or abusive behavior or whatever.

So I’m chatting with this friend of mine, and she asks me about Freud. I’m like “What about him?”, and she brings up id, ego and superego. I don’t remember verbatim what she said, but it revolved around which of the three is actually “You”. I hadn’t thought about it before, because, to me, it’s obvious that the id is “You”… However, I realize that my whole post about alcohol was based on that particular belief of mine and that it’s worth discussing the three divisions.

According to the definition above, the id is your natural instinct… it’s what you would do without any parameters or external interference. The superego holds the rules for what you’re SUPPOSED to do in a given situation. The ego is where “You” decide what you’re going to do, taking into account the influences of the id and the superego. My impression of drinking, based on these three, is that there’s the potential for the superego to become disabled or disappear entirely, leaving the ego with only the stimulus from the id when it comes to deciding what to do.

This is why people wake up the next day talkin’ ’bout “Why didn’t you stop me?” and “I’m not that type of person” and “I don’t hook up with people I just met” and “I only screw attractive chicks” and “That’s not your twin brother’s baby… it’s yours”. They’ve tried so hard to NOT be who they really are that they don’t recognize their own behavior when the rules disappear from their minds.

So… Depending on how you see this, by alcohol removing the superego’s influence, it’s either removing what you think is “You”, leaving you ‘prey’ to your own natural instincts… or it’s ENABLING you to be “You” by removing what you’ve been taught that’s suppressing your natural way of being. Well… Sorry… You are NOT the rules your parents taught you. You are NOT what you learned in school. You are NOT the contents of your wallet. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

How do I know this? Because whomever you really are, you will be taught different things depending on what society you’re born into or come into contact with. “Morals” are different in different places. That has nothing to do with who YOU are and what turns YOU on and what doesn’t. The superego is set up for you to not make yourself a pariah or worse by disrespecting society’s standards. If your society says every guy should have ONE girlfriend and you have SEVERAL, you’re out of bounds. The superego reminds you to play it off as if you’re only messing with one chick. Are you really doing that? No. You’re maintaining your staus in society (as well as assuring a decent probability of physical safety/survival) by going along with what people EXPECT you to do and what people TOLD you to do.

How come these rules go out the window for some people when they drink? How come people don’t adhere MORE TIGHTLY to the rules that they “live by” when they’re sober? How come it’s not the id that ‘goes’, instead of the superego? How come people do more ‘dirt’ when they’re drunk than when they’re sober? How come the people that do ‘dirt’ when they’re sober don’t become pious individuals when they get drunk? 😀 It’s because the entire thing is a front, and you are who you are, regardless of the rules you’re TRYING to follow.

So the next time somebody gets drunk and does something and replies “that wasn’t me”, ask them who it was. 😀 Ask them where they got the idea to do what they did. Did they get it from television? Did they get drunk and then see something in a movie and want to see if they could do it in real life? 😀 Where did this impulse come from for your boyfriend to screw your sister or stay out all night without calling you? How come your girl was spotted at the club getting her freak on with the next man? Please… Feel FREE to ask people that tell you that alcohol was an excuse for what they did to tell you WHERE they got the idea and post it here, or on your own blog or whatever, because either they don’t want to admit or they don’t UNDERSTAND that it was actually THEIR idea from the beginning.

Also… How is it that there’s a common thread to what happens? How come people don’t get drunk and buy your mother flowers? 😀 Get drunk and paint your car? Get drunk and fund your startup?… ok, bad example. I’m sure that happens all the time, but you see what I’m saying. How come it’s always stuff that people try to excuse away? That’s because they did What. They. Wanted. To. Do, and what they would have done in the first place if they weren’t carrying their brainwashing around with them in their superegos.

You know what else is common amongst humans?

Smiling.

Did you notice that? Regardless of what language people speak, they tend to SMILE when they’re happy and FROWN when they’re upset. Do you know why that is? Did they ALL get the memo? Did people around the world DECIDE that they were going to teach babies to smile and laugh when they’re happy? I know *I* didn’t get that memo. Do you think it’s the superego that’s smiling? Is it morally right in lots of countries with DIFFERING moral codes to smile or laugh when you feel happy? Is it the ego that’s smiling? Do you CHOOSE to smile, because you won’t become a pariah or get attacked by society if you do so? Is it a natural reaction of the id? Is it purely physical?

So, yeah. I say the id is “You”, the superego is the set of rules that keeps you safe in the society you happen to be in and the ego handles the conscious decision-making between what you WANT to do and what you’re actually GOING to do.

Now, in some cases, the choice is the same. Some guys open doors for the ladies whether they’re drunk or sober. Some people are loud and obnoxious drunk or sober. Some people are FREAKS drunk or sober. Some people are piously religious drunk or sober. Also, like I said in the other post, people can definitely incapacitate themselves with alcohol, which is a totally different issue from drinking to the point where your superego takes a vacation. If you can’t drink, DON’T DRINK. Period. If you’re friends with someone that can’t handle their liquor, TELL THEM SO and do what you can to make them see the light. Videotape them if you have to, so you can show these “I’m not that type of person” people the type of people that they really are.

So if you’ve read this far, I’m impressed. 🙂 I’d love to hear/read what you think as far as where “You” reside in your psyche, and whether you think alcohol disables the “You” or enables the “You”. Meanwhile, You can go vote for me on the Silicon Alley 100 or catch up with me at the bar! 😀

This is why I just completely DETEST when people try to use alcohol as an excuse as far as why they did something. It’s a copout. It’s bullshit. There are two main reasons for this.

First… if YOU drank the alcohol YOURSELF, and you knew what you were drinking, I don’t want to hear it. The only break you might get is if you’re just beginning drinking. A friend of mine in college drank alcohol for what may have been his first time, but was DEFINITELY a rare occasion for him, and he swore up and down that our other friend’s hair was WHITE… when I was looking right at it, and my friend’s hair was BLACK. 😀 As friends, it was our duty and responsibility to BAN THAT GUY FROM DRINKING EVER AGAIN! He did it as an experiment, just to try it out, but alcohol just didn’t agree with him and it was in everyone’s best interest, especially his own that he keep his mind right, so he was banned. Continue reading “Alcohol Is No Excuse!”

It’s tolerable to a degree… but basically, you want to maintain your level of drunkenness within a certain range until you fall asleep. I found this out the hard way. 🙂

I went to a frat party that a friend of mine threw and ended up staying over. Up until that day, my experience had been that once you go to sleep, that’s it! hahaha 🙂 So I woke up in the morning, probably only 4 or 5 hours after I had gone to sleep. When I woke up, I retrieved my mountain bike and started riding back across the Mass Ave Bridge to go back to Cambridge. Now, I’ve been riding bicycles forever, and it’s just as easy as walking… but for some reason, It wasn’t so easy this morning. 🙂 About halfway across the bridge, I realized the problem… I was still DRUNK! :O smh

Being that I didn’t know this was possible, I had no idea of how to deal with it OR that I actually NEEDED to deal with it. So I rode back to the dorm, and I’m wide awake and I start hanging out with my homegirl. Next thing I know, I’m just feeling worse… and worse… and WORSE… AND *WORSE*!!!! I mean, it’s funny NOW.. but at the time, I was like OMG!

After that very day, I made a vow to AVOID that situation forevermore! 😀

The best thing I can advocate (besides not drinking in the first place, haha) is just plain NOT WAKING UP until you’re over it! 😀 Know what kind of person you are. I’m a morning person. I can go to sleep @ 3am and wake up @ 9am without an alarm. If you know your body’s going to reactivate in the morning, don’t keep drinking @ 4am. Of course… this is tip is useless, because if you’re still drinking @ 4am, you aren’t THINKING about waking up at all! 😀

Another good tip is to drink A LOOOOOOT of water before you go to sleep. Do your best to dilute your blood alcohol level ahead of time. Even if you don’t end up with a hangover, the thicker your blood gets, the tougher it is for it to pass through your capillaries, and you’ll have headaches and just overall feel poorly.

At some point, I became aware of “Hair of the Dog”, or, as I believe it’s properly known, “the hair of the dog that bit you”… Regardless… It’s the Top Gun technique of pulling out of the dive like Tom Cruise in Top Gun and letting the enemy fly right by you. Pull yourself out of the nose-dive of coming down while being awake by starting drinking again! 😀 Instantly, you switch your body from becoming increasingly less drunk to increasingly more so. I wish I could remember where I found out about this so I could properly attribute credit.

The reason I was thinking about this was that like twice in the span of a month, I was forced to pull myself out of the nose-dive. One of the two I don’t remember at this point. The other one was that at some point before I crawled into bed @ 5am, my cousin had left me an email saying she needed my help moving some furniture to storage the next morning. I only found out about it after I woke up and was WAY LOOKING FORWARD to a morning/afternoon/early-evening of detox, flickr and facebook sets. All of a sudden, my detox time was out the window, and I had to figure out how I was going to be functional, in the street and feeling decently by 1pm.

I could have pulled off ONE of those three in the state I was in when I read her email. I could have been in the street, non-functional and feeling poorly… NOT in the street, funtional, but feeling poorly… or feeling well, NOT in the street and NOT functional (= asleep :D). The only way I was going to be able to make it happen for my cousin was to “hit the brakes and let them fly right by”.

Needless to say, this technique is USELESS if you have work the next day, hahaha. If that’s the case, you’re an idiot for drinking so much into the wee hours of the night. Too Bad… So Sad…. Some people think coffee’s going to save them. Nope. Old Wives’ Tale.

Water, sleep, more alcohol or not getting drunk in the first place… You decide.

Back in the day… I was hanging out at a carnival in Revere, Massachusetts, USA, and we were kicking it to these chicks, and this girl’s friend tried to cockblock her by saying “She just got out of detox! :D”. I figured she was kidding, but it turned out that she wasn’t. The chick really HAD been in detox/rehab/whatever. Unfortunately, the block didn’t work, because the chick was cute/hawt, and you know how THAT goes! 😀

That’s not the type of detox I’m talking about. It’s more of a mental/psychological state than a spot where they try to get you to kick whatever form of high you’re into.

I didn’t drink at all until I got to college. I know that doesn’t seem like an achievement, hahaha 😀 It’s like Chris Rock said… Don’t brag about taking care of your kids… You’re SUPPOSED TO take care of your kids! 😀

I think the drinking age in the USA is 21. Meanwhile… In reality… I knew kids that were getting drunk when we were in JHS… around 15 years old. Raiding parents’ liquor cabinets (my parents didn’t/don’t drink, so there was no liquor for me to raid, personally)… Knowing where to go to buy alcohol around the way with no questions asked… If you know where “the bootleg” is, you can get, like, VODKA from stores that probably aren’t even licensed to sell it… and that’s @ 3am. So, as a NYC kid, everything’s available to us, all the time. If you have the money, SOMEBODY has what you want… Alcohol, Chicks, Whatever.

So that’s why I say I never drank until college. College starts (for most people) at 18 and ends around 21, so, technically, you’re not supposed to have had a drink until you were like a senior in college… BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, Right. 😀

The “detox” I’m talking about is bringing your system back to some sort of stability after drinking a whole hell of a lot of alcohol. The reason I felt like blogging about this is that today, for the second time in about a month, I got ‘cheated’ out of my detox time, and I’ve been feeling poorly all day. The people that I think might find this interesting are the ones who didn’t know anything about drinking, like *I* didn’t before I started.

There are a few stages to drinking. For the purposes of this post, let’s call them (in chronological order):

Not Drunk
Not Drunk Yet
Drunk
Not As Drunk As I Was Earlier
Not Drunk

Most of these stages are fine. 🙂 We can eliminate the bookends by saying that if you’re Not Drunk, that has nothing to do with this post.

Not Drunk Yet isn’t bad either. It’s like being on a lame Roller Coaster, and you know you’re going up, but it’s a slight incline. You always feel “better” as the time goes by. You’re on your way to Drunk.

Drunk is always cool if you’re into that sort of thing. Everything’s Light & Breezy! 😀

The only thing that’s left is the worst state of all, hahaha… Not As Drunk As I Was Earlier. Horrible. Don’t want to be there… or even think BACK… I don’t want to be there… Now I’m on the right track… Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! – Ace Frehley – “Hard Times”

When I recall… Days in The City…
And I think back… Oh what a pity…
Remembering How… It wasn’t pretty…
Everyday Life in The City…

Out in the Street
We had to Take it
With friends around
We couldn’t Fake it
What wasn’t there
We had to Make it
Hangn’ out Down in The CITY!

The Hard Times
Are Dead And Gone
But The Hard Times
Have Made Me Strong
And The Hard Times
Have Made Me See
That The Hard Times
Ain’t Where I Wanna BEEEEE!!!!