Dating site OkCupid analyzed the profiles of 526,000 users to discover the "interests, hobbies, tastes, and self-descriptions specially important to each racial group." So, what do white people like? Tom Clancy, Van Halen, golfing, and the Red Sox. Duh.

By taking the profile essays of a big group of its users and isolating the words and phrases used frequently and uniquely by each group, OkCupid's in-house statisticians (who have really figured out how much people love to read pop-scientific statistical breakdowns about themselves and their interests) were able to figure out what qualities and interests were liked by each racial group in particular. (The example they use: "all kinds of people list sushi as one of their favorite foods. But Asians are the only group who also list sashimi.")

OkCupid put their community through statistical analysis and created an exhaustive, surprising…
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So, what did they find out? Well, many of your stereotypes will be confirmed. Others may be shattered! But mostly, yes, white people have the taste we have been conditioned to expect after decades of cutting-edge stand-up comedy. Here are some of the things that popped up on the list of white people phrases:

Male:

Tom Clancy

Van Halen

Golfing

Harley Davidson

Ghostbusters

Phish

The Big Lebowski

Soundgarden

Hockey

The Red Sox

CCR

"I can fix anything"

"A few beers."

Female:

The Red Sox

Jodi Picoult

Mascara

Ireland

Nicholas Sparks

Horseback riding

Bonfires

Flea markets

Nora Ephron

"I'm blond"

"My red hair"

DMB

Diet Coke

Ha, wow, looking at all of those together? I never, ever want to date a white person. But white people weren't the only ones to receive this treatment, of course—the blog's got rundowns of profiles for six other racial/ethnic groups. You could start writing your own stand up act, right now! For example, did you know that: