Summary

So begins the pilot episode of the Offices & Bosses miniseries spun off from Hello from the Magic Tavern episode 32, "Offices & Bosses". Continuing their previous campaign, Metamore plays Office Manager guiding Arnie, Usidore, Chunt and joining player Flower. After Arnie tries to do his usual introduction, we are introduced to the Offices & Bosses characters. Usidore will play marketing manager John Bastion, while Chunt will reprise his temp Dan Smith. As Arnie’s previous character, Ryan DiGiorgi, was killed by Dan Smith, Arnie has rolled a new character: Orlando Bloom is an elf who fell through a dimensional portal behind a blacksmith shoppe. Flower will play Gail Davidson-Durst, an IT professional.

Metamore, acting once again as Office Manager, sets the quest of collecting the Q4 numbers by EOB (end of business). The numbers are held by four colleagues: Carl, Steve, Diane, and Kelly. Bastion looks around the conference room and they find a phone tree with the locations of their colleagues. Carl is closest. Smith makes coffee. Davidson-Durst sends out a company-wide email: “where are the numbers, please?” The players discuss different approaches to playing Offices & Bosses. Bloom remembers the name of his fathers and says a prayer to the goddess of wonderment.

Carl arrives with a big mess of papers that include his numbers. Smith makes coffee for Carl and urinates in it. Bastion uses his charisma on Carl and Davidson-Durst comes in, takes the papers and works quietly without recognition. When Carl leaves, Steve comes in. Bloom sings a song to the creatures of the woods, which confuses Steve and Bastion asks for the Q4 numbers. Steve initiates a conversation about salaries. While this happens, Davidson-Durst uses company resources to make invitations to her child’s birthday party. Steve hands over his papers. Bastion suggests a quest to Diane’s desk to fetch her numbers, while Davidson-Durst counters with trying to entice everyone into the same room. After Bloom eats part of the cake, they go to find Diane at her cubicle.

After the break, Bastion talks to Diane, but she has already given the Q4 numbers to Roz Walters, the Midwest Regional COO; she’s a boss. Davidson-Durst tries to placate Diane with alcohol. Chunt rolls to see if Diane will ever get together with Sam, but it’s inconclusive. Bloom tries to cut Diane’s arm off, but the blow kills her. Smith takes Diane’s eyes with his Bic pens. Bastion inspects her desk and finds cat pictures and cartoons.

Bastion wants to broker peace between Kelly and Davidson-Durst. Davidson-Durst will hang back. Smith tries to lure Kelly over with the cake, but Kelly has been on a diet. They call Kelly from the top of the phone tree and roll a concentration check to see if they can avoid being pulled into her vortex of weekend sex talk. All the players are caught under her spell, but Bastion and Davidson-Durst break free after twenty minutes. Kelly suggests going to get lunch: Smith and Bloom go with her, enabling Bastion and Davidson-Durst to search Kelly’s desk. They find and print the Q4 numbers, meaning they have three of the four. Davidson-Durst defecates in one of Kelly’s desk drawers.

With only fifteen minutes before EOB, Bastion goes to the conference room where Roz is working. She is expecting the compiled numbers and Bastion explains the situation but she demands the numbers. Davidson-Durst tries to make Roz think it was her idea, but she does not have good charisma and is broken by Roz’s eyes of disappointment; Bastion gives her an energy drink. Roz presses a button and saxophone music starts to play which makes it hard for anyone to stay angry. They notice the numbers in a folder on Roz’s desk and Bastion leaps to grab them. Roz steps in the way and he touches her body. Furious, she says that she knows he has also been talking about salaries with other employees. Bastion apologies and offers to work late, but Usidore rolls a three and Roz fires Bastion. He tries to apologise again, but it fails.

Still at lunch, Smith leaves one of Diane’s eyes as a tip and Bloom kills everyone in the restaurant.