Single on the Seacoast:

Thursday

Aug 28, 2008 at 2:00 AM

I was looking at my appointment book a few weeks ago, and noticed that all of my Fridays in August were booked. Not with dates, mind you, but with parties and outings with my friends. When I shared this observation with my friend Kristi, we had the following conversation via IM.

Heather Mackenzie

I was looking at my appointment book a few weeks ago, and noticed that all of my Fridays in August were booked. Not with dates, mind you, but with parties and outings with my friends. When I shared this observation with my friend Kristi, we had the following conversation via IM.

(I've decided to post it in its entirety for you, because when I tried to turn it into dialogue, it didn't work very well. So now, voyeurs, you get to see what I'm like when I chat. I know you're excited.)

Heather: I guess I'll have to book my dates for Saturdays. I'm sure there will be many.

Kristi: Hahaha, me too. I plan on being completely booked.

Heather: Yep. The men are sure to be crawling out of the woodwork ANY DAY NOW.

Kristi: *waiting* Kristi: *holding breath*

Heather: *peering around*

Kristi: *turning blue*

Heather: *twiddling thumbs*

Kristi: *whistling*

Heather: ...damnit.

Kristi: you know how they have rain dances?

Kristi: is there a ... man dance?

Kristi: maybe we could do that Heather: we'd need a drummer, I think.

Heather: do you know any?

Kristi: ummm

Kristi: not really

Kristi: I'd LIKE to know one

Kristi: my new downstairs neighbor guy plays the banjo

Heather: I think, for a man-dance, we might need female musicians.

Heather: Unless your downstairs neighbor is gay. That might work.

Kristi: I hope not. I like looking at him

Heather: Oh well.

Because really, wouldn't that be nice? Some ceremonial way to let the Universe know that you are ready and willing to accept a deluge of suitors? I'm sure there would be a woman-dance too, out of fairness, for the lovelorn looking to attract the ladies.

And if that doesn't work out, would just going to a single's dance work? Do those still exist? Who goes to them nowadays? My parents met at a single's dance back in the '70s. Actually, this is a sweet story.

The dance was held at the Skyline Ballroom, which has since burned down. My father told his boss at the time that he would go, and then, that day, tried very hard to cancel. Fortunately for me, he never reached the man, who just showed up at my father's house and made him go. My mother, on the other hand, was celebrating the finalization of her divorce with her mother and sister (both divorcees). They went to the dance simply because they were bored.

Also at the Skyline was my father's mother, who was a widow. She and my aunt ended up sitting near each other, and mentioned that their son/little sister were there, respectively. Eventually, as the instruments of Cupid himself, they managed to introduce my parents to each other. Fate!

Then my dad, obviously the master of seizing the moment, went across the room and sat down. Although he worked up the nerve to go look for her (twice!), she was either dancing or MIA. However, once he'd given up and sat down for the third time, she approached him and asked him to dance. And they did. And then I was born. (OK, not for years later, but that's the important part of this story. I remind them of this fact all the time.) So maybe Kristi is right. Maybe a dance, of one kind or another, is the answer. I'm not sure if shaking my groove thing at the Gas Light will help, or if I should seek out single's mixers, or just dance around a fire in my back yard. Maybe anything will do — just to cue the Universe in that I'm ready and willing and bored enough to find a Skyline Ballroom of my own.

Have you been to a single's dance in the area? Tell Heather about it at singleontheseacoast@gmail.com.

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