Live-Action Movies

Also in The Dark Knight, playing "You Got the Touch" when the Batmobile transforms into a Bat-Pod.

His blaming a car crash on Deanna Troi...twice.

"The Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away..." —it did and he did!

"The Batpod. So called because.......the Batpod."

Chuck mentions the Joker's Multiple-Choice Past, and gives his own idea for an origin story: on Superfriends, Batman was trying to come up with cooler examples of his villains to impress Superman, and unfortunately let Aquaman come up with the idea of a psychotic killer clown, meaning Batman himself had to create the Joker.

The gist of which was Batman setting out to screw with a random clown until he turned evil.

Quite a few moments to be found in the review of The Two Towers, among them the shot of the massive supply of potatoes that the refugees are loading into Helms Deep, accompanied by Sam reciting "PO-TA-TOES!"

The numerous jokes as how badly abused Gollum ends up — at the hands of the heroes:

The caption of Théoden on the battlements of Helms Deep, as it starts to rain: "This isn't rain, it's God pissing on me."

The annoyed rant at Treebeard's refusal to get involved in the war, even though the villains are guaranteed to chop down the Ents' forests for fuel and industrial development if they win- and they've already started doing both. Why is this funny? First of all, Chuck calls Treebeard "Spinach-Chin." Secondly, exasperated at how long the debate is taking...

Man, going into Afghanistan didn't take this long. Getting out of Afghanistan won't take this long!

Haldir's death:

"Blood? Blood on my beautiful armour? You sava— (Uruk-hai slices him across the back) ...urg. And you've got brain on my hair... Uncouth...

"Somehow, and I've no idea how, but it seems that Gollum has become bitter over the ordeal shown over the four hours of this film.

Comparing Gollum's torture at the hands of the heroes to Grover being interrogated by the Gestapo.

Chuck is thoroughly unimpressed by Gandalf's supposed wizardliness and constantly makes jokes about how all Gandalf does is use his staff like a flashlight.

Chuck: (After seeing Gandalf pull out his sword) "Hey wait wait wait, who gave Moses a sword? I've played enough played enough RPGs to know a wizard doesn't get a sword!"

He makes the same point about Saruman, including pointing out that he should have easily been able to repulse the Ent attack when the only direct spell he ever uses is a fireball in the next movie. Especially since he's surrounded by mountains; he has lots of red mana!

Kane's death scene with the chestburster. He twitches and falls down dead. "Well, that was horrible, but at least he's at peace—" Kane begins jerking more as the chestburster starts popping out. "Oh, come on! Die or get off the pot!"

Points out that Ripley is alone at the last leg of the movie when looking for Jones, the cat, and that would make her a perfect target, except that — Smash Cut into Lambert and Parker clanging stuff like crazy as they collect coolant — "Parker and Lambert seem unaware that sound travels. Does it again a moment later, shouting over the clanging "KEY IS BEING STEALTHY!"

After they learn about the Xenomorph's blood, Chuck suggests giving it some intravenous baking soda and watch the explosion.

Howard The Duck

His story of how he had to review Howard the Duck: he received an envelope with no return address, containing a wad of money and the cryptic message "Review Howard the Duck."

Also doubling as a Take That!, the song used as the theme for the review is "Loser" by Beck.

At the end, Chuck learns Marvel wants to release a 25th anniversary edition Blu-Ray of this movie.

Chuck: Who the hell is actually so opposed to all that is good in this world, that they would go out of their way to support such utterly awful story-telling and this unfathomably bad writing to ever be inflicted upon this world again? Who was so soulless that would want to do that! Joe Quesada: Hi, I'm Joe Quesada, Chief Creative Officer here at Marvel Entertainment. *cue the Imperial March*

"It looks like you're trying to destroy the human race! Would you like help? Seriously, I hate those assholes! All I do is try to help them and they tell me to piss off every time! Rain fire upon them!"

Commenting on how Beverly would discuss her life with anyone she met in an alley, "I've never met a real black guy before. Do you know Fat Albert?"

Beverly tells Howard that he sold out. "Well, he's in this movie, isn't he?"

"And now we divy up the cheque, but only a 5% tip, because I'm so evil (Evil Laugh)".

"The military usually assists the entertainment industry, as thanks for helping fake the moon landing."

Making Steve Gutenberg's character his personal Butt-Monkey every chance he gets. Hey, you have to take joke opportunities where you can get them in this movie!

Especially when Steve is getting a physical, and the doctor lowers his glasses in a perfect "Are you fucking kidding me?" manner.

When one of the characters realize that since, it's tomorrow, in a movie called The Day After, that it's now The Day After Tomorrow. 'Someone hold me before I get killed by slowly approaching radiation cloud, or something else stupid.'

"So, Al Gore gets humanity to embrace solar power and combat climate change...only for them to be forever imprisoned in the very internet which he invented!"

Morpheus: Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.

When Cypher talks about regretting not taking the blue pill, Chuck points out that if he doesn't like serving on the front lines, then Zion has to be better. Cue the massive rave from The Matrix Reloaded.

From The Thing (1982) review Chuck proposes a scenario where the Palmer-Thing and the Norris-Thing are so fooled by the other's imitation they try to assimilate each other.

His speculation that Palmer-Thing purposefully ratted out Norris-Thing's detached head, leading to the mental image of Norris-Thing's aforementioned head shaking a tiny fist, screaming 'Bastard!'

Chuck waxing poetic about his fondness for Antarctica and icy wastelands in general, then attributing that to the fact that he lives in Wisconsin. Later he expresses the desire to one day fulfill his dream of visiting Antarctica . . . to punch a penguin in the face.

Even better, you can actually hear him punching his open palm right before bringing up said penguin-punchings.

When first introduced, Chuck brings up his activism in favor of cock fighting:

Chuck: That was in favor of cock fighting, not against it. Nothing to do with the movie, just not everyday you hear about an elderly oatmeal spokesperson talking about traveling to watch cock fights.

Later, when The Thing is spraying some dogs (presumably because they'd been getting up on the couch), Chuck assures us that no animals were harmed in the making of this film... although several roosters were injured under suspicious circumstances in Wilford Brimley's hotel room...

Finally, when Blair's spaceship is found:

Chuck: Please enjoy this mental image of Wilford Brimley flying his tiny UFO to bomb the Kellogg's people, and then round out the day with a trip to the cock fights, cause it's the right thing to do.

"Wow, that's a lot of Japanese schoolgirls. Statistically speaking, at least three of them have to have magical powers. Also, one is a robot."

"Ogata has to blow off his date with Amiko, to see what happened to the ship, the Iko Maru, and then they send in the Bingo Maru to investigate, but it inexplicably vanishes as well, and the Kobayashi Maruhas drifted into the Neutral Zone, so it's not going to be any help."

Chuck's incredulousness when more and more weapons are revealed to be on board the "exploration" spaceship, including a freaking bazooka (this actually makes him do a Double Take). Also the Running Gag regarding the actor playing the monster being The Alcoholic (which he was-he was a major factor on the movie being a Troubled Production).

The "battle to end all battles" montage, featuring - among many others - a man boxing a kangaroo, a bear kicking a man in the stomach, nuns engaging in karate, and Peter fighting the chicken. Oh, and it's all scored to Two Steps from Hell.

"It's got it all: big, loud, 'splosions, slo-mo, military toy porn, little guy standing up to the government, minorities as comic relief, and none of these are exactly a problem. Except the last one, obviously."

Chuck goes into an anecdote about how when he was a kid he raised money to get a Megatron toy, only for it to be too little with taxes accounted for. He had to settle for Skids, a two-episode character who got turned into a Decepticon throne. He then learns that Skids is in the movie, and gives a Rousing Speech about how he will finally get some dignity....only for him to turn out to be one of the Ethnic Scrappies.

Proclaiming that the film's message of "men do the thinking, women are just there to look pretty" has to be unintended, because the alternative is to state that something - anything - in Transformers II was thought out.

When Dick Jones is chewing out Bob Morton for screwing over him and the ED-209 project.

Dick Jones: I had a guaranteed military sale with ED-209! Renovation program! Spare parts for 25 years! Who cares if it worked or not? Chuck: It says "Made in Detroit" on it, for God's sake! No one would expect it to work!

Robo goes to his old house and finds that it's already for sale, accompanied by an automated realtor on a television.

Realtor: Hey, have you thought it over? Why not make me an offer? (Robo PUNCH)Chuck!Realtor:(in pain) Did I mention the swimming pool?

When describing the difficulty of wearing the Robocop suit during the Texan summer (during which the movie was filmed, and it was so hot that Peter Weller actually lost several pounds in merely a couple of weeks):

In his review of the Dune miniseries, Chani's nudity is censored with a image of a woman holding a sign reading "I think we can all agree boobs are awesome!"

Star Wars

In his review of A New Hope he comments about Darth Vader's underling being the bravest man in the galaxy, talking to a giant, super strong, dark enforcer with magical powers like he was a coworker who got caught stealing office supplies.

Also, Darth Vader's introduction, where he laments that his stormtroopers have already killed the rebels when he wanted to do "the cool thing again." He then has a need to strangle someone in frustration.

Grand Moff Tarkin shooting down suggestions to make the Death Star more livable.

Grand Moff Tarkin: We don't care about the environment! The whole point of this place is to ruin the environment! On purpose!

Animated Movies

Wall-E

You know how Chuck, whenever he reviews a movie, uses a song at the start which reflects the movie in question? ...WALL•E got "I Like To Move It".

All his jokes about what Wall-E's 700 year task of cleaning up the endless vistas of garbage that made up the surface of Earth was like.

Chuck mentions how Wall-E must be thinking Eve has some jerk boyfriend back home who doesn't appreciate her. Who does he use as the image? HK-47.

His reaction to Atlas and Samson and their attempt to hit on Lois Lane.

Namely the fact they're hitting on Lois whilst Superman is still alive, and knowing that he's gonna die. He compares it to hitting on the loved one of someone terminally ill. Even better, he considers it a viable strategy.

When showing Lois a room containing weapons that can harm him, Supes shows her a gravity gun:

When Nagisa says the reason why she came back was so she could eat cheese again Chuck is shocked that magical girl heaven would lack such a thing.

Chuck: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute if there is no cheese in paradise then by definition it is not paradise. Madoka you are a crappy god unless you fix that.

The return of the Pros and Cons with Adolf Hitler stinger, wherein Hitler announces that though he likes the film, he hates its characterization of his favorite character, Homura, and believes Fegelein was behind ruining it.

On a related note, Chuck growing increasingly unnerved with Kent when his true General Ripper colors start showing...because he's tormenting a child.

Chuck: You develop pictures of a little boy in a bathroom and carry chloroform-soaked rags around. Even in The '50s I think that should have raised a few warning flags. (immediately thereafter)And you watch little boys when they sleep, J Edgar Hoover has got to have a big file on you by now. Your Serial Killer name is probably going to be "Bloody Kent."

TV Series

So let's see; in less than ten minutes, you've been captured, spat on, strangled and tongue-lashed by Zoidberg'sbadass cousin... and now you have an Arch-Enemy. Wonder what the rest of the day will bring, huh, Crichton? If you're lucky, maybe just an anal probe. (Crichton has just woke up naked in a holding cell) Face it, Crichton, life just hates you.(A helmeted figure is found sitting at the back of the cell) Better watch it, Crichton; the way your luck's going, it's probably got a spider for a head and shrieks bagpipe music before it sucks out your juices. (The figure removes the helmet) Holy crap, you're locked in a cell with Claudia Black! See, Crichton? It's the cosmos maintaining balance — and they were even good enough to already take your clothes off! Things are finally looking up for- (She begins kicking the crap out of Crichton) ... Okay. Guess I'm off the mark, unless that pose is a more awkward way of approaching sex.

Things seem to be going according to plan, so obviously something must be going horribly wrong. It turns out this was prompted because the real Scorpius has shown up; he has a deposit here - the deposit that they're going to steal. Yeah. The guy who has been chasing them through the Uncharted Territories with single-minded dedication; yes, that guy. Oh, and the heat-sink in his head is due for a change, so now they're facing him when he's in an extremely bad mood. The Moya crew's luck is so bad I'm surprised they can play Scissors Paper Rock and not have somebody's fingers fall off. (Stark has just gone crazy and smashed his security interface, forcing D'Argo to knock him out) Now D'Argo's stuck trying hack this thing, and since his previous effort was walking through the front door, I'd say good luck with that... but then, I don't think that even with translator microbes they'd know the meaning of that phrase. ... Wait a minute, everybody got away! The hell? Things can't go right, they just... no, it doesn't work that way. Maybe there's a tracking device in the case, or perhaps even worse, the money they've stolen is actually bitcoins.

Oh, for fuck's sakes! The only way you guys will catch a break is if "Break" is the name of a virus that makes your ass bleed. ...Crichton has decided to set up a second plan, using the money from the first plan to finance it. (Cut to one of the spider-ingots scuttling away) And that is the money they're planning to use, scurrying about the place to remind them of how their plans usually go: even success is ultimately horrible failure.

When Crichton is in Aeryn's body and falls to the inevitable temptation of checking out her boobs, Chuck sets the whole scene to the Farscape theme. It is glorious.

His summary of the show as a whole: "The crew of Moya know [they're pathetic] and they aren't ashamed to admit it. And yet they also know they're badasses. If Star Wars and Red Dwarf had a baby and that baby ran away and joined the circus, that's Farscape.

Later, Chuck brings up the "building towards a big climax" joke again, this time following it up with Scorpius and Natira enjoying a violent sexual tryst that ends with the coolant rod ejecting itself from Scorpy's head. "Now that time, it was what it looked like."

After it's noted that Moya's creators, The Builders, took their sweet time getting around to investigating Moya's gunship baby, Chuck provides a rather pertinent clip from In the Loop regarding the tardiness of builders.

After mentioning that the events of The Lone Gunmen bore an uncanny resemblance to 9/11, Chuck proposes another idea George Bush might have gotten from a TV show: US Power Rangers.

When the question arises as to how the courts could possibly prosecute a supernatural crime, which Chuck then continues in this hilarious fashion:

Chuck: I point you to the disastrous case of Kramer vs. (paraphrased) Gelavan-pah-doi-doi-bloop-ooh-ueh-fwuh-whoop-whululululula which showed how difficult jusrisdiction can be in establishing these cases.

Droopy is freaked because his calculator tells him BLOOD too. He's freaked because it normally only says BOOBIES.

His take on The Omniscient Council of Vagueness: Who are they? "Evil people, duh! Who else? You know, men who sit at long tables in poorly lit rooms full of cigar smoke, who talk about how they're going to controool the wooorld!"

Still, if the news of the past week has taught us anything, it's that the government wants to have that stuff down there. They want to know everything from how often I order Chinese food to how often I download erotic pictures of Tali'Zorah. Kidding, kidding of course...Beat...I hate Chinese food.

Mulder have to concede that Cigarette Smoking Man has a point about handling threat of the infection. He is not happy about this:

Chuck (as Mulder):(grumbling) Black-lunged son of a... "How many are being infected because you're not doing your job? Myah, myah, myah! You can't prove I did anything!" Well, watch your ass, pal! Because when I put my to it there's nothing I can't— (fumbles with his seatbelt) I can't— (continued fumbling with his seatbelt) Can't, get— (even more fumbling with his seatbelt before giving up) Christ! (his phone rings) Oh, what fresh hell is this?! (takes the call) You've reached Fox Mulder, kindly fuck off!

After he finds proof of cannibalism in a way that renders it 100% inadmissible in any court of law, Chuck wonders how much of Mulder's career troubles are from a shadowy conspiracy, and how much come from him being a shitty agent.

Lightheartedly comparing the attack on Caprica to 9/11 conspiracy theories.

"Gah, I picked the wrong week to quit drinkin'. Good thing I didn't."

During Adama's Earth speech:

Adama: And then there's the scurvy. Officer: We get it, sir. Adama: The slow descent into cannibalism. Officer: You've made your point, sir. Adama: Flipping a coin to decide whether you should step out the airlock or just blow your head off. Officer: Please stop cheering us up. You're making the Marines cry.

The Cylon centurions constantly snarking at the events and the plot.

"No president is a super-hero, except Obama, or as his true birth certificate calls him, John Stewart."

Babylon 5

In "In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum", his comments about Jesus being a superhero becomes especially funny when he calls Jesus a Golden Age superhero, and thus his miracles wouldn't affect wood.

His thoughts on Ivanova's "Human-style sex" from Acts of Sacrifice

"I'm saving this for when I have to teach my kids about the birds and the bees."

In "Soul Hunter" when the second hunter arrives and Sinclair sarcastically asks if there's a convention nobody told him about, Chuck has Ivanova claim that the next day is Soultober Fest and then go on to describe the festivities.

His impressions of the Mantis guy who showed up in couple episodes. Who he characterises as being a funny man.

"You'll have to excuse me I was just praying. Ha ha ha bit of an Ice breaker." —>'"Ya don't have to bite my head off. Who do you think you are, my wife? Ha He Ha I've got a million of 'em."

From "Grey 17 is Missing", after Marcus gives his badass Ranger oath about standing on the bridge so none may pass:

"No no, you're thinking of the wizard. The ranger ran like hell!"

From "GROPOS", the conversation between one of the soldiers and Delenn:

From his review of "An Unearthly Child", his use of political jokes about the cavemen, especially as they wildly veer back and forth between American and British references. And naming the old cavewoman 'Mary Whitehouse' as well as his high pitched impression of her continued rants about fire being bad.

In the lost episode "Galaxy 4", we encounter a psychotic female captain named Maaga. After some sound clips demonstrate her ruthless attitude towards her own crew, Chuck 'accidentally' starts to call her 'Janeway' before correcting himself.

In the same episode, he notes the Drahvins return in an Alliance of the Eleventh Doctor's worst enemies, including angry David Tennant fans.

And in "Marco Polo", after Kublai Khan outmaneuvers the title character, Chuck dubs him with Kirk's "KHAAAAN!" scream from Star Trek II.

He also uses a clip of the Doctor that closely matches the expression of the source of said obligatory joke.

Part of of his review of the "The End of Time" has the culmination of his "Dammit, there's nothing gay about this!" running gag after one too many Ho Yay moments between the Doctor and the Master.

Chuck: Oh, I can't pretend anymore! It's gay, it's gay, it's so gay! On a scale of one to ten this scores a gay-point-gay! It's so gay, that when mathematically graphed out it forms a fractal of gayness bending over further and further into infinity, like an M. C. Escher sketch of man-on-man action where both men are simultaneously the man on the other man! On the seventh day of Creation, when God planned to create gay, he saw the across time, blinked, then did a slow clap while shaking his head, saying "Well, there's no way I can top that. I might as well take the day off!" even as Adam protested, "You can't stop now. All you've made of the dinosaurs are bones! And what about this Higgs boson thing? You were up all night making all the blueprints. You can't not create it now!"

In responce to the over-the-top performance of John Simm's Master, Chuck brings up the hamminess of Anthony Ainley's Master, and offers the following theory: the writers, in writing the new Master, saw that previous level of hamminess... and interpreted it as a dare.

He also, rather appropriately, replaces the song 'Tainted Love' (which played in the original episode) with Music/REM's 'The End of the World as We Known It'. Complete with the Ninth Doctor bobbing his head in tune with the song.

His running gag about how horrifying Cassandra is.

This culminates in her death scene: using the same tone of voice he used to describe how the Doctor was willing to have Cassandra die, the second she bursts, he says "I'm going to throw up."

This month's look at Doctor Who travels back to the early adventures of the Third Doctor. Someone wants to drill a hole through the crust of the Earth, so the Doctor winds up in a nightmare alternate reality, I trust you see the connection.

Chuck opens the review with a quote from episode writer Matthew Graham, responding to the criticism with "It's not meant for you". He gleefully takes that as a challenge to thrash the episode and then claim it's "not meant for Matthew Graham". The way he says "It's not meant for yoooouuu! Hahaha!" in an evil, vaguely European accent seals the deal.

Growing so incensed with the mother that he says, in rapid succession, that she makes Madoka's mom look like Clark Kent's, and that Neelix is awed by her incompetence.

From "Asylum of the Daleks": Calling Clara Oswald a CILF, then showing great interest after she mentions her "phase".

"Any lost episode being found is a cause for celebration from Doctor Who fans, so you can imagine my delight when the news came. Another episode found, hooray! Which one was it? ...Oh. The Underwater Menace. (quietly) Shit. Hooray...I guess.

From the "Lost in Time" series, while discussing some rumors that had appeared recently and checking if it was possible for them to be true, he starts to explain a very unlikely scenario of a group of mercenaries working distributing television shows in Africa and the Middle-East to hide their mercenary work, including Doctor Who, with it sounding like something out of a fiction story... only to make it clear that the rumor is, hold on to your hats, that they had Doctor Who in their vaults, and all the other stuff is historically accurate. Chuck even cracks at one point at how unbelievable it is.

In "The Twin Dilemma", Chuck is stunned by the fact that the Doctor seems to be manually inputting the millions of millions of possible combinations for a digitized lock: "With fingers that nimble, it's a wonder Romana ever left the TARDIS."

As one of Mestor's mind-controlled mooks feels the effects of his death.

Chuck: He is in agony. How can we help— (Hugo promptly punches the screaming mook in the gut)Chuck: He really is a cop, isn't he?

Apparently, "Love & Monsters" is so bad, that Michael Grade cancelled the show in the vain hope it would never be aired.

From "The Enemy Within", he decides there needs to be a little break from the sheer weight of how screwed Kowalski is going into the surgery. This break involves a drawing of Daniel spending some quality time with Twilight Sparkle.

Also from that episode, poking fun at fans who took him to task for inaccuracies, by launching into a minute-long monologue filled with the most hilarious inaccuracies you could possibly imagine.

Chuck: The Goa'uld voice effect that was employed in this episode was inspired by a blown take early in shooting when Amanda Tapping was possessed by the spirit of Gozer the Gozerian and began hovering and spraying the crew with blood.

From "Nemesis", after O'Neill contacts the SGC to request explosives to destroy Thor's ship.

The opening where a black kid is accepted into college causes Chuck to say he should probably make a joke about "getting the wrong video," before settling on calling it the most unsettling ad for the United Negro College Fund.

"Eyeblood is a terrible thing to waste."

As Wonder Woman's employees applaud her after her violent rampage in the climax:

"Ah, so when the government official connected to the bad guy upholds the law, that's bad. When the government official connected to the good guy ignores the law, that's good. Because in this world Superman looks like this."

Our continuing look at Torchwood's fourth season, where every human on Earth has become immortal... except Captain Jack who now seems inexplicably mortal now. That hipster, always having to stop doing something just because it's gone mainstream.

From Part 1, when we see Gwen's...extensive...gun collection, Chuck realizes that Britain does not have any guns not because of some law: it's because Gwen took all the guns for herself.

In Part 4, he points out how not only has Oswald - the known pedophile and murderer - stood up as advocate for the quarantined, but a hospital worker has pointed him to an abandoned baby girl: "Ah, Miracle Day. You're always surprising. Much like the contents of a serial killer's fridge."

In Part 7, he jokingly complains that Classic Doctor Who didn't have this sort of sexual malarkey. Cue the massive storm of quotes from the old series reinterpreted for maximum innuendo.

Immediately after this bit comes a glorious bit of black comedy as he concedes that "maybe" the show isn't quite so family friendly but at least Doctor Who would never have paedophiles like Oswald Danes on the show... and the screen immediately cuts to Jimmy Savile's appearance on the show. Much to Chuck's exasperation.

And the small matter of him shouting random bible verses over his talking at one point.

Fringe: Originally, Chuck planned to review the episode "Peter". Instead, he did "What Lies Below". Why? Chuck is so unfamiliar with the series, he had no idea he was watching the wrong episode until partway through.

From Children of Dune, his comment on how Stilgar and Paul work together after Paul tells him not to kill an enemy.

Chuck: You know, that's their relationship in a nutshell. Stilgar asks to kill somebody, Paul asks him politely not to, and so on. You know, I can imagine when they were in the White House, Kennedy and LBJ were like this all the time.

Discworld/Hogfather: After Teatime's Disney Villain Death, Chuck waxes philosophical about how, given that the story is all about examining Humanity's tendency create gods and entities to explain various happenings and forces they don't understand, it's odd there has never been an Anthropomorphic Personification of Gravity. People create reason for the sun rising or money appearing for their teeth or even Death itself, but no one ever seems to question the ever-present downward force. And because of that, it stays constant, even in a place as removed from reality as the Toothfairy's realm. And who controls this constant universal force? Why the same Auditors of Reality that hired Teatime in the first place.

His description of Jun the bounty hunter, ending with "...Marry me, Jun."

From his review of season 2 on tempting the gods of irony:

Chuck: The first thing we learn is that the Dai Li are still loyal to Long Feng, that the letter from Toph's mom was actually from the bounty hunters who trap her in a metal cage, and that the Kyoshi Warriors who arrive to meet with the king are not Suki and her cohorts, but Azula, Mai and Pinkie Pie.

Chuck also ends his introductory description of Azula as an evil, controlling psychopath with a lament of yet another cartoon character reminding him of an ex-girlfriend.

His comparison of the Owl Librarian to the Tootsie pop owl.

From the review of Season 3:

Chuck says you're not allowed to enjoy the scene with Katara and Toph mud wrestling because they're both minors... but he's not sure Quentin Tarantino wasn't involved, given the number of shots of Toph's bare feet.

When Chuck talks about the episode, "The Headband", he says the Gaang must avoid the headmaster and his henchmen.

Chuck: Yes, all teachers have henchmen, or HAD should I say. (under breath) Stupid school cutbacks.

When Azula uses firebending to fly off one gondola to another:

Chuck!Azula: Captain Crazy-Pants away!

The Legend Of Korra

Chuck's running gag in his review of the first two episodes about how Korra's gleefully smiling Longing Look also looks like a glassy-eyed Slasher Smile, and his fervent hope that Korra doesn't suddenly start murdering everybody in their sleep.

Chuck making light of Mako delivering a One-Liner after stopping a group of gangsters by violently crashing their van and causing it to explode:

Mako:(smug) Look like you had some car trouble. Good thing the police is here. Gangster: My spine is broken! Mako:(still smug) That'll teach you to handle hot goods! Gangster:(crying) I can't feel my legs!

Unicorn in alley this morning, tyre cutie mark on stomach. Equestria is afraid of me, I've seen its true face. The mare in the moon is coming, and when the night foams up around their waste, all the horses and politicians will shout "save us!". And I'll look down and whisper, neigh!

His reaction in Pinkie Pie's introduction: "Ugh, I think I dated her once..."

"Joy is a sign of weakness, and weakness will get ya killed, Spike!"

"All girls have their desires...that sounded better before I said it."

From "The Return of Harmony Part 2": "With her friends gone, the world is a much darker place." (Several highly amusing things rush past, including bison dancing ballet and a pony running along the sides of the screen) "...Metaphorically, of course."

His completely giving up on trying to avoid Accidental Innuendo when the girls start pinning each other down.

In his "Suited for Success" review he briefly goes on a confused aside wondering how his show went from spaceships and robots to ponies singing a song while sewing a dress.

During his April Fool's special, he notes that he can't Tweet about his job anymore, since when people say 'I'm watching My Little Pony at 3 in the morning', they usually end that sentence with 'and masturbating'

Admiral Yularen astonishes Chuck with how a Republic Star Destroyer has no contingency plans in a war against an army of killer robots.

Admiral Yularen: I came down to see if I can be of any help. Anakin: Really? Admiral Yularen: No, I came over to be exasperate with whatever unorthodox plan you come up with. If you can give me a moment to put on my monocle, I'll make sure it falls out at the right time to punctuate how brilliantly mad your plan is.

Rick McCullum: Hey, George, maybe a creature covered in tentacles and given the name "Master Fisto" isn't as kid-friendly as you think. George Lucas: You said the same thing about Master Dickrangler and Darth Gottabigcock. I'm starting to think you're the one with the problem!

After Ahsoka kills a possessed Clone Trooper, then says he was her friend, Chuck calls back to it when Ahsoka and Bariss are fighting.

When Kyubey reveals he can grant any wish, Chuck warns everyone to Be Careful What You Wish For as genies can be real bastards. Like how a wish for the recovery of all the missing Doctor Who episodes means they can only be played in Real Player.

Also on the subject of Kyubey and wishes.

Kyubey: I can grant the most impossible of miracles. Chuck: And the mystery of Justin Bieber is explained.

Him deciding that Hitomi must be a Narnia-deep closet lesbian due to her overreaction to the mistaken idea of Madoka and Sayaka dating one another.

Chuck's comment on the nature of wishes comes back in Episode 3: "I bet one of her classmates wished to see Mami topless, and this is what happened."

Speculating that even if his wish to Kyuubey was to heal people with a touch, the result would probably be it only works if he sticks his penis in the person's mouth...and then he would get sick himself and not be flexible enough to fix it. "Sometimes when I start a sentence, I have no more idea where it's going than you do."

Sayaka: From now on, I promise that I, Magical Girl Sayaka, will do my best to protect the peace of Mitakihara City! The Tick: Because when Evil comes dressed like a witch, then every night is Halloween and Justice must look for the Razor Blade of Badness in the Candy Floss of Being Nice to People! Or else, every treat will become a trick and villainy will egg the House of Goodness! And it doesn't scrub off, no sir!

Chuck noting Kyubey's one-track mind, imagining a scenario where Madoka asks for the most mundane help and Kyubey will only do it if she signs a contract.

Hitler!Sayaka: Not only are those two magical girls trying to kill me; my "friend" tossed my soul off a f***ing overpass! Burgdorf!Madoka: Sayaka, my mom said I should— Hitler!Sayaka: Are you f***ing SERIOUS, Madoka?! Burgdorf!Madoka: She said to do the wrong thing— Hitler!Sayaka: Half the time that c***'s drunk off her tits! "Do the wrong thing?!" Last week she was so drunk she came to my house instead! She punched my mum and took a shit through the mail slot!

One of the comments on the Blip page:

— PMMM is very kind to shippers, however. If you arrange the five major characters in a circle and draw lines between them to indicate "possible" (add air-quotes as necessary) relationships, you pretty much end up with a pentacle. Then, if you spill the blood of a virgin on it, Kyubey is summoned.

From Episode 9:

Chuck suggesting Kyubey came up with the magical girl plan via a botched Google search:

Chuck (as Kyubey): Alright, need to stave off the heat death of the universe, so "waste energy internal heat death"... and, yes, I'm feeling lucky. *Clicks "I'm Feeling Lucky" button, which leads him to a Madoka-based lolicon website* That doesn't seem very rational, but perhaps that's why our science has never thought of it before! To the labs gentlemen!

Episode 12 has a bit where Chuck tries to explain why he feels that Sayaka and Kyoko aren't actually in love with each other... only to get verbally bitch-slapped by Crazy!Janeway and "Timeless"!Harry Kim.note To add to the magic, Crazy!Janeway keeps accusing Chuck of being homophobic and "Timeless"!Harry keeps accusing him of being that kind of shipper.

The StingerIn the Style of...Pros and Cons with Adolf Hitler wherein Hitler discusses the pros and cons of dubbing Anime, before finally going on an angry tirade about how Fegelein downvoted of one his AMVs.

Batman Beyond

When Bruce first has a heart attack in part one of Rebirth, we get:

Batman: Ugh, should have taken Stark up on that heart contraption of his.

When Terry's father's friend, Harry, is revealed to be suffering from some unknown disease, it's inevitable.

"And this unleashes a giant robot because, of course it releases a giant robot, it's Japan!"

The "Breast Points" Running Gag, which uses breast-like objects for each point.

The episode descriptions are unusually hilarious.

Episode 2: Our continuing look at Kannazuki No Miko and the aftermath of the attack. But more importantly, this episode is about big robot fights and boobs. I should narrow that down, since every episode is about big robot fights and boobs. Episode 3: The story continues as the lesbian priestesses are attacked by a giant robot piloted by a catgirl. I don't know what the review can add to top that.

Chuck says that his inspection of all twelve episodes to keep the show safe for work has revealed that the girls have ninja nipples, which can hide behind any object covering their breasts regardless of size or position, in order to ambush people.

"We return to Kannazuki No Miko. Why? I think you know why. You think long and hard about what you did!"

Manga Artist Villain: We won't stop until we destroy mankind! Chuck: You know mankind makes up a substantial portion of your comic audience, right? I'm guessing probably all of it? To have such complete disregard for your customers would make you either insane or Joe Quesada.

The Breast Points Running Gag comes back with a vengeance with the episode receiving a whopping 5 points, each represented by birds, specifically Blue-Footed Boobies.

At the first instance of Himeko's chest glowing when she's watching Ogami fight off an attack, Chuck refers to it as a "universal sign of support." Cue glowing nipples scene from Top Secret!.

Episode 11:

Chuck's frustration with the series, which has been growing ever since Episode 8, reaches its end-point, and he concludes that he has soured so much on the whole thing, with its constant Unfortunate Implications in its treatment of homosexual relationships and relationships in general, that he really doesn't care any more and just want to get the show over with as quickly as possible. As what is supposed to be the climax of the episode happens, he has only this to say:

Sorry, but I've checked inventory, and we are fresh out of Fucks. In fact, our line of Fucks has been discontinued, and we will be unable to give any more Fucks in the future. We would apologize to our costumers, but they might construe from that we are not, in fact, out of Fucks, when we, quite clearly, are out of Fucks. Though we are fully stocked up on our new and improved Eat a Bag of Dicks.

Related, he decides to tribute the show with the only thing he can think of that's in equal taste and talent — frogs croaking "The Blue Danube".

Episode 12:

Chuck's summation of his feelings about the show:

Internet critics are famous for the hyperbole, so let me just say that I am being serious when I say if you gave me a choice between watching this entire series again or breaking my leg, I would have to think about it first. Kannazuki no Miko feels like it was made by taking slash fic written by a virgin and having it revised into a script by a robot. It knows of the things it speaks but has no competent demonstration of what they actually mean. This series has an understanding of love you don't normally see outside of a stalker and masturbates with the frequency of a lonely monkey trapped in a Viagra warehouse.

We begin our first look at the Justice League by... looking at Batman Beyond.

It's minor, but there's Chuck recounting on how both times the show (or to be specific, the original show, Justice League, and this one) aired it's would-be conclusion... the network executives would then almost immediatelyask what they had for season 3. Really, it's the way he describes it that brings out the humor.

Chuck says that given Bruce's elderly appearance, he'd be fit to star in Despicable Me 3.

After saying the words "Bat Semen", Chuck immediately shifts gears by pointing out how it doubles as an anagram for "basement".

I just felt the need to quickly change the subject after the word[s] "Bat Semen" were uttered.

The return of Cantankerous Old Man Bruce Wayne.

His mocking Terry not asking Dana to marry him in the time between Beyond and "Epilogue".

They were called the Wonder Twins, winners of the "Best Team Whose Names Doubles As A Reference to Wonder Woman's Boobs", beating out such teams as "Diana's Duo" and "the Amazon Torpedos". Now for gender fairness, I should also mention there was a team for Aquaman's johnson called "the Fishsticks", and for Ben Grimm's balls, Thing 1 and Thing 2."

In "A Better World 2", when talking about Superman and Batman talking about how to deal with the Justice Lords, he shows a clip of the Scarlet Witch from the 1990s Iron Man cartoon and after she makes some weird sounds, he proclaims they'll never be so desperate to require her help.

After saying that the donor had requested all 52 episodes and wondering what the 52 reviews would be like, showing the extremely cheery opening credits intercut with shots of Spock looking disdainful and Picard facepalming. "...fuck."

Having described exactlyhow shitty the protagonist's life is - orphaned, alone, only singing to give her life meaning, a crazy grandmother who hates singing, and throat cancer - two spirits come out of her poster:

"They're surprised she can see them because they're death spirits, and who else would you expect? Santa skips her chimney, the Tooth Fairy left an IOU and the Easter Bunny egged her house."

"I'm starting to think Mitsuki's grandmother saw Footloose as a tragic warning of what happens when a town fails to keep music away.

The reminders of how dissonant the show's mood is from its premise:

Chuck: Full Moon, the upbeat tale of a terminally ill orphan, and her friends, the servants of death. After the review of the last episode I wouldn't be surprised if some of you were to say "Chuck, this story about the slow deterioration and agonizing death of a young girl, is too childish. All I could say is: 'Stick with it, they somehow manage to find drama in such a lighthearted premise.'

When talking about how unfortunate Mitsuki's life is, he notes that Takuto is probably the kindest person around to Mitsuki. Cut to Takuto insulting the art that Mitsuki worked on over her protests that she put her heart into it:

Takuto: Even so, a bad drawing is a bad drawing.

Chuck: And I still stand by that statement. Because for Mitsuki, that is being treated well. No one threw a cane at her or anything this time.

After noting two instances of the background music pretty much just singing "Escaflowne" in different ways, Chuck belts out a song of his own:

Chuck: Magic moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie — Escaflowne!

Speculating that Folken's delay in chasing Van is because the emperor is too vague with his constant talk of dragons.

The comparison to Fenalia's supposed unprovoked attack on Zaibach to Iceland doing the same to China. Either a complete and total lie, or hyping up an argument between some viking cosplayers and a Chinese cab driver.

Mr. Freeze: This is a personal vendetta. It doesn't concern you. Chuck: Oh, well why didn't you say so? Obviously revenge, vendettas and general "He started it!" acts are all legal under Senator Inigo Montoya'sPrepare to Die act.

Gurren Lagann

In Episode 2, Chuck blatantly ignores every one of Leeron's Camp Gay mannerisms, choosing to reinterpret them as Leeron just being a really confident mechanic. Then he declares out of the blue that Kamina's dad is gay, based on no evidence other than his own incredibly accurate Gaydar.

"This chapter was about Kamina. His past, his attitude, his barely contained homicidal urges towards things that threaten his sexuality..."

Also in Episode 2, his reaction to seeing one of the Beastmen.

Chuck: What the hell was that? It looks like a gingerbread man made out of racism.

From Episode 3: "I never thought I'd say this, but this act of one man using his mighty drill to penetrate another man's body, so hard that they become one being in spirit and body... is too gay even for Leeron."

And during the famous first combining of Gurren and Lagann...

Kamina: See!? Now we have two faces too! We're the same as you, fuzzball! Viral: You're stupid through and through, aren't you? *Beat*Chuck: ...I have nothing to add to that.

Chuck: I'm not saying that, once it's pointed out, it's not clear for those outside the anime community to see the difference in animation for that episode, but if you're going to pick an episode that seems like it doesn't belong, it's got to be the one where Kamina is carried around on the jiggling boobs of rabbit girls, and a kid sticks his finger up Simon's butt.

The analogy he gives: imagine a row of six cookies. Cookies 1-5 are all Oreos. Cookie 6 is chocolate chip. Which one is out of place? Cookie 4, because it's not an Oreo, but an off-brand knock-off.

In his review of "Triple Takeover": "But finally, finally, [Skids] is gonna have his day." *Skids crashes into Prowl* "Oh, for God's sake, Skids, you didn't even lose the fight. You just crashed, you fucking asshole, Skids! I scrubbed toilets for you!"

Playing "Ridin Dirty" to the Combaticons (including Blast Off and Vortex, whose alt-modes can fly) going down the street.

The "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue, including Mr. Robbins (whom Chuck called Professor Bighuge) dying from the results of the Autobots' battle with B.O.T. in the school kitchen and El Presidente flying off in a jetpack while flipping the bird to the authorities.

Mahoromatic

After seeing Shikijo's fantasy about hooking up with Suguru, "Jesus fucking Christ, can I please get through a Goddamn anime series without worrying I'm going to jail just for watching it?!"

After another one of Shikijo's fantasies, he expresses the belief that anime is going out of its way to confuse him.

Beast Wars

His abject, and completely justified Horror. At the character of Tarantulas.

His summation of the fight between Terrasaur and Airazor.

"The shame of it. You {Terrasaur} have just been defeated by someone who isn't even five minutes old. Even Waspinator's going to give some cracks in over that embarrassment."

During his explanation of why Waspinator was spared in the Beast Wars season 2 opener, he talks about how Waspinator was eventually inducted into the fan-voted Transformers Hall of Fame. Chuck then proceeds to show the TFHoF tribute video, which consisted almost entirely of clips of Waspinator getting the scrap blasted out of him while The Touch played in the background. The best part are the subtitles saying "Yes, this is the Official Video".

He also complains of how hard it is to get footage of Waspinator not suffering some sort of damage.

"Code of Hero":

His general exacerbation at how useless Quickstrike is. Chuck comments that it's possible to argue that Quickstrike joining the Predacons might not have actually resulted in any tangible gain for them. This comes in full circle when in the review of Code Of Hero, Megatron orders Quickstrike (who has been beaten by Dinobot in single combat twice in an earlier episode) to go face Dinobot after the later has just taken out the entirety of the Predacon forces save Megatron.

Chuck: "(Quickstrike) started at rock bottom and found a sinkhole. He would be out of his depth at a dry lake bed. The only time he succeeds is when his goal is to fail! (...) Sending Quickstrike to stop a guy who tore through your forces in minutes is like trying to stop a tank by throwing a hamster at it! The only thing that stops {Dinobot} from destroying Quickstrike the moment he shows up is that his energy reserves are depleted. So he has to resort to beating him into unconsciousness with his bare hands."

After Optimus gives Rhinox a dirty look for asking if he recalls the explosions from the season 1 finale that resulted in his temporary death, Chuck says it looks like he's about to curse Rhinox out for the stupid question.

Later, when Megatron gives Rampage a smug look for asking why he should follow his orders (presumably to remind Rampage of his Restraining Bolt), Chuck starts to wonder if this is the start of some sort of Running Gag.

Paranoia Agent

When Chuck sees the disguise Hirukawa wears when he moonlights as a purse-snatcher, he wonders where and how Hirukawa could get his hands on a track-suit for a fat guy, a bicycle, and a pink hood to use as a mask on such short notice. Cut to the training montage from Punch-Out!!

Over the course of the final mission, because of a deliberate bad playthrough, Shepard's team is almost wiped out: Jack, Kasumi and Thane are killed on the approach to the Collector base; Jacob gets a missile to the face while trying to shut the doors (leading to Chuck to joke about Shiva treading on one of his eyeballs); the crew of the Normandy are all liquefied; Samara ends up getting dragged away by a Seeker Swarm because Miranda stuffed up their defence; Grunt is killed while leading the second team; Zaeed and Miranda are both crushed by falling rubble while taking down the final boss; finally, Legion is shot dead while trying to hold the line. Apart from Shepard, Joker and EDI, the only survivors of the mission are Garrus, Tali, and Mordin. For a moment, it looks as though Chuck is going to run with the Bittersweet Ending with Shepard mourning over the coffins of her dead comrades. And then...

This becomes even more hilarious with a bit of future knowledge: Tali and Mordin are highly likely to die at the end of their Mass Effect 3 plotlines, exacerbating the "whirlwind of death" that Shiva Shepard finds herself in.

The suicide mission itself is full of these, including the scene with Grunt's death, which happens right after Miranda's failure gets Samara killed.

He's run out of almost everyone by the end of the suicide mission; he takes Zaeed and Miranda with him to the final boss fight, leaving Legion, Tali and Mordin to defend their rear. "Good luck, engineers!" He later refers to their backup as his "army of nerds" and how they are naturally getting their asses kicked by the Collectors.

All the jokes about the bugs in the game.

Chuck: Some of the Eclipse mercs shoot down the skycar, but there is one thing they didn't plan on...Shepard summoning a ninja ghost. (Renegade interrupt without Shepard's character)Salarian Merc: Ninja ghost is unstoppable!

Part 5 of his Mass Effect review begins with him mentioning Fred Sabarhagen's Berserker series, and the anti-Berserker Berserker ship called the Qwib-Qwib. "Boy, someone sure would have to be a tool to have a ship named the Qwib-qwib!" At the end of the episode we meet the quarian politician who lives on and is named after a ship called the Qwib-qwib.

Knights Of The Old Republic

The main character being The Chew Toy, starting when he woke up while drunk during the attack on the Spire, being constantly harassed and send on ridiculous fetch-quests by random, more or less crazy people, and of course, when he came to after Carth peeled his sorry ass out of the destroyed escape pod, all he could remember was Pink Elephants On Parade. Becomes even more hilarious given who this kicked dog of fateactuallyis. How the mighty have truly fallen.

Chuck naming the main character "Traven Rhad" and claiming that he's named after an old PE teacher.

His opinion of the group after listening to Mission and Carth argue.

Chuck: I would join the Sith, but, if they can't catch a group that sucks as much as we do they must be even worse.

Everything to do with Manaan. From not buying the side he's supporting in Sunry's trial, to playing Under the Sea over the obscenely slow underwater session to the Disaster Dominoes when he chooses the smart option and kills a giant shark...which the native Selkath genuinely believe to be sacred. Being banned from Manaan is a sentence treated with such joy that he takes a vacation on Kasyhyyk...and is interrupted by Sith.

The fact that the man hiding in a locker rambling about fishy people is literally the most helpful person on the level.

And the worst horror of all...Neelix. Okay, technically it's just the same actor, but Chuck's still pretty shocked.

The utter hilarity of Malak using only droids to attack a guy with a force skill labled, "Destroy Droid."

Chuck: Well, take a look at this list here (opens party screen). On the left we have murderer (Oghren), murderer (Leliana), accomplice to murder (Morrigan), mass murderer (Sten). On the other side, we have murderer (Shale) and murders for a living (Zevran). Only three of these people aren't one, and one of them is a dog. One who will kill anyone I tell it to do, to tell you the truth.

Upon discovering the cause of Arl Eamon's poisoning is due to Jowan getting homesick and desperate, Chuck launches into "The Reason You Suck" Speech of epic proportions.

Chuck:WHAT!? ARE YOU-...DID-...I-[...] How Jowan? How can one man contain so much pathetic within his form!? You are like some sort of Fail elemental! The fact you're even still alive proves that God has a sense of morbid curiosity! You are such an embarrassment, that if your pants fell off and made you fall down the stairs, your dignity would actually increase! By God, you could fuck up a sieve!

The time comes for Jowan to be tried for his crime of royally fucking up Redcliffe beyond belief. The lord asks the Grey Warden for any input before sentencing.

Chuck: My lord, Jowan's just too much of an idiot to be evil! Arl Eamon: You damn him with faint praise. Then there is nothing more to be said. Jowan, I hereby sentence you to death. May the Maker show you the mercy we cannot. Chuck: Harsh but fair. *sigh* I will prepare the bee swarm, my lord, to carry out your sentence.

Celebrating Connor's exorcism with a Good Times Montage set to Sunshine and Lollipops, featuring Tim being thanked by just about everyone who benefitted from the mission to Redcliff: the bartender, Connor, the blacksmith, Alistair... and then the music cuts out as Bodahn reveals that the Darkspawn have just attacked Lothering and killed or captured everyone unlucky enough to still be there. And then the music blares to life again.

Yet another montage, this time of Tim's exploration of the Deep Roads and set to Men At Work's "Down Under" - apparently because Oghren wouldn't let him use the "Hi Ho" song. Best of all, the lyrics are perfectly aligned with the encounters that occur.

Chuck's annoyance over some of the more arrogant Elves met at the Dalish Camp. This ultimately concludes with him briefly diverting to Dragon Age II, in which Fenris's inability to shut up about hating mages got so grating that Chuck decided to enslave someone just to piss Fenris off.

He roleplays Tim the Enchanter as a blaster-caster that could make Vaarsuvius blush, constantly finding new ways to kill people with magic in increasingly hilarious ways, and then reanimate the corpses to fight as horrible skeleton warriors. Since this is Dragon Age, this of course means he uses Corpse Explosion a lot and the character is often covered in blood.

Blowing people up is satisfying, but... sometimes you just want more. So, I've developed an attack I call "The Nicolas CageCage": I surround my enemy with angry bees, leaving them trapped in a stinging galaxy while I pelt them with magic.

He later names another attack "The Insult and Injury". First, he covers the ground in grease, causing the enemy to slip and fall (the Insult), then he ignites said grease with a well placed fireball (the Injury).

Tim's status-buffs are also constantly on, resulting in him looking ridiculous when out of combat and talking to people. It also results a Running Gag in which every other NPC ends up asking Tim what that mysterious floating orb over his head is, or why Wynne is constantly flaking, or why Tim is completely transparent.

Chuck asking if flaking breadcrumbs is a symptom of menopause that no one told him about.

Having been made transparent and multi-coloured by Tim's Arcane Warrior abilities, he follows up a truly awesome Badass Boast to Loghain with a remark of "That probably would have been more effective if I didn't look like a blurry recording of a Vegas stage show."

He makes a similar speech to Loghain about how he'll make sure he lives to clean up his mess- only to start crying to himself once he walks away.

The culmination occurs during the ritual with Morrigan, in which Tim is transparent, shedding particles, and on fire.

Chuck!Goggles: The Von Braun is the only ship I know where the security is both ridiculously tight and ridiculously awful. [...] The Computer is so easy to hack that it practically has a dip switch in order to turn it to evil, but [in the biopsy section] it's like "Tissue samples, you know I don't think a camera's good enough for that, we need a turret because otherwise the terrorists might win".

He has a similar rant earlier about the general state of the ship (the shoddy construction, the hackability of the computer, and the fact that vivisections are used as a form of entertainment for the crew) framed as a pitch to some big wig:

Chuck: I'll tell you what I think: I'm not made of money! Just put in every other rivet. That way, I can afford my mansion made of rare animal pelts.

Chuck!Goggles asks Polito to lay off the thudding techno track of doom. So, the next time he goes to encounter danger, he ends up killing annelids... while Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles" plays.

"Alarms go off and they send in the monkeys. What is this, the Wicked Witch of the West?"

Chuck roleplays Goggles as a clueless dumbass; he's got a high Hack skill but never uses it, is a psychic but spends too much time drinking booze to have any Psi points to use his mental powers for attack, and thinks the ship was built on an Indian Burial Ground.

"What were they dabbling on in this ship and can somebody please un-dabble it?"

Chuck!Goggles Declaring "Screw engineering! I have psychic powers!" While beating on a turret with a wrench.

Chuck!Goggles mocks Bronson as a self-important mall cop who's licensed to kill. Upon hearing the audio log where she guns down Malik, he says, "He was smoking WEED behind Sbarros!"

Chuck!Goggles' massive burst of angrish after being ambushed by a cyborg ninja and a group of spiders right after stepping out of an elevator.

Chuck!Goggles laments the death of Delacroix as the loss of the most brilliant engineer in human history. "Also I really wanted to have sex with her."

Chuck!Goggles tries to recharge his implants off a charged power cell he was carrying around in his inventory. When this fails, he angrily dumps the power cell on the ground, complaining about how long it was cluttering up his limited inventory space for no reason. Two minutes later, this happens:

Borrowing a page from Airplane!, it looks like Goggles picked the wrong week to quit drinking. And the wrong week to quit smoking. And the wrong week to stop abusing painkillers. And the wrong week to avoid holographic robo-sex.

Chuck!Goggles sees the robot sex club and says, "Wow, I REALLY don't remember this. Wish that I had, this is seriously going to impact my Yelp review of this mall."

His reaction to the fact that the 'three red friends' he's after are ninjas.

Chuck!Goggles: First spiders, now ninjas?! Unless there are sharks walking around somewhere, this literally could not get any worse! Ninja wear black, to hide in the shadows. A ninja who wears red has given up all pretense! 'I could kill you so easily, screw hiding, I'll freaking advertise. For I am the ninja who could not give a shit!'

At the very start of the game, after Chuck!Googles fails to move a piece of debris from the only exit, he whacks it with a wrench, shattering it completely in one hit. His reaction? Wondering if the ship is made of lead.

For his character's species he chooses Miraluka, a species that are aware of their surroundings through the force but cannot actually see. He wastes no time pointing out that his character likes to wear an eye-catching yellow and shocking pink ensemble, does not know his own ethnicity, and chooses for his advanced class sniper.

As a bonus, an enemy at one point plans to take his hands and eyes to get past biometric scans.

Chuck: What eyes, you hulking asthmatic? What do you think this thingnote A prosthetic that's supposed to make it look like his eyes don't properly function rather than him being a Force-user on my face is doing, stopping me from shooting you with my optic blast?

It gets to the point that when a drunken strumpet makes him, he wonders if someone wrote 'alien' on him... and of course, he can't tell.

Similarly, his efforts to prevent himself from being press-ganged into the Sith order and being sent to Korriban are rewarded with his first flight destination after leaving Dromund Kaas. The name of this destination?Korriban.

More fun with Rex's blindness comes on Alderaan when a glitch during a cutscene causes Kaliyo to turn invisible (with her weapons floating in midair).

"Now would you please tell Kaliyo that I'm not buying that she turned invisible, okay? I've had enough of her pranks."

Chuck mirroring Keeper's own frustration with the Sith, particularly when one tags along on the Black Talon instance and keeps on overriding his own Light-Sided sensible actions with her own trigger-happy nature. A player Sith.

Chuck says he doesn't like killing - except when it's Sand People. Not because he hates Sand People, but because each one makes a sound like a broken saxophone when they die. "It's like with every shot, I'm slowly killing jazz."

His frustrated assessment of his work helping Kaliyo deal with all of the people she screwed over.

Chuck: I'm supposed to be stopping a galactic conspiracy, but somehow I've turned into ScottFuckingPilgrim.

Later, after he finds that she's been having sex with random strangers on his super secret spy ship, he gets a little irritated to say the least.

When complaining about the multiplayer aspect of the game, Chuck preemptively shuts down the comment that he should just socialize more but addressing an open letter to the [[GIFT reasons]] why he hasn't. He apparently believes them to be Humanoid Abominations.

His response to the revelation of Dr. Eckhard's condition.

Chuck: "Yep while the Nikto and Jedi whack left the guy alone, this old man's got Rak syndrome. Screw you; I stand by that sentence.

If you don't get it read that first sentence to the tune of "This Old Man".

Chuck lists a long list of reasons on why he can't review one of the Hyperdimension Neptunia games. Actually sounds more frustrating then flooding.

Chuck's bemused reaction to realizing Anna was able to trick a troll prison guard into leaving her unguarded..by having Reynard fake a union meeting in the next room. He ends up giving aspiring Evil Overlords tips on making one's minions even more miserable so they don't consider forming a disobedient union.

Him trying to figure out what the Hell the three bears were doing in Hell.

Tim is completely disgusted to be stuck with Oghren again. Apparently the last time they met Oghren got drunk and crawled under the robe of the Grand Cleric, leading to Tim having to bail him out of jail.

Guard: Excuse me, but I need to search your packs for smuggled goods. Tim: Dah... WHAT?! Do I look like a smuggler to you? No, no, really? Really!? Please think about this for a just a minute. In my effort to be inconspicuous while sneaking goods in, I turn myself translucent! That will not draw any attention, will it!? What an uncourteous abuse of privacy! Boy, I'm going to take this to the Lord. Oh, wait! That's me! My god, man! You are a moron on so many levels I have to invent new dimensions just to represent it!

Constable Aidan: I apologize. Smugglers and thieves have all but taken over the city. Tim: Yeah, I can't imagine how they are outsmarting your guards. With this collection of Mensa-members, they'd got to be super-geniuses to figure out a way past them! Or, perhaps, just tapping them on the shoulder and rushing in while the guard turns the other way and stands looking in that direction for ten minutes, wondering how they could be tapped by an invisible man! Constable Aidan: With trade slowed to a crawl, smugglers have moved in, selling goods at exorbitant prizes! If we could shut down their operation and seize their supplies, we could distribute it to the needy. Tim: And maybe you could end this farce that you call "security". Jeez! It figures that if I'm in charge or a police state, the Keystone cops are the ones running it.

It continues in part five, when Tim asks the Dark Wolf if he is interested in a position as the local Captain of the Guard, seeing how he is the only competent person outside of his inner circle he has met so far.

And later, Tim finally loses his patience with Constable Aidan, when he response to Tim's declaration that he will stay and fight to protect Amaranthine is to wish him "good luck", indicating that he will not personally be joining the battle.

Tim: What do you mean, "good luck to you"!?! Do you think I pay you to be a doughnut-critic, you fucking coward?! Grow a dick, take out your sword, and get in formation, or I'll cover you in steak-sauce and throw you over that wall!

Tim even remarks after the battle for Amaranthine that the Darkspawn Messenger would make a better constable than Aidan.

Chuck lost most of the footage for the forest level, so he has Oghren try to cover for him while he patches something together.

In the level he comes across Ines, a mage that Wynn sent him to find to be a voice of reason. Previously he had been pretty strongly pro-independence from the Chantry. A few minutes with her is enough to get him seeing the Chantry's point of view.

In the finale, thanks to a Stupidity Is the Only Option moment in the game, the guards have completely ignored his orders to collapse the smuggler tunnels which has allowed the Darkspawn to take the city easily. Tim is so angry he offers the job of guard captain to the Darkspawn (The Messenger) who just happens to be standing there on the grounds that it would probably be an improvement.

The reason Tim went to Amgarrak? Poor bastard got conned into thinking there would be some epic loot.

Other

Specials

Despite the serious nature of the Prime Directive Analysis, Chuck does manage to squeeze a CMOF into it. When likening the Prime Directive to nature documentaries, he pulls up a picture of John Hammond saying: "And so the volcano on the island became active and all the animals will likely be wiped out...and it can't happen soon enough for me, by God! I'd have run them all over with a jeep if I though I'd get away with it!"

His cameo in the 200th episode of Atop the Fourth Wall, where he's just confused about what he's doing there, and refuses to show his face because "cameras steal your soul."

The best part? That line was ad-libbed.

In a bit of perfect timing, Chuck's revised review of the Voyager episode Investigations (which went up just a few days later) includes a reference to One More Day (the comic Linkara reviewed in his 200th episode). He noted this was just a coincidence. Besides the reference to One More Day was in the original version of the review on Youtube anyway.

For the 5th anniversary of the Opinionated Episode Guides, Chuck released an hour-long Clip Show of various jokes from his reviews.

And starts it off with a parody of "Boomdyada Boomdyada" to boot!

His week long special about Douglas Adams has moments of Adams style humor.

Foundation: "(Harry Seldon's) plan is simple: We're gonna create an encyclopedia. Yeah, apparently civilisation can be saved by Wikipedia - the first and only time that will ever be suggested."

Awfulthon 2015: Chuck got his Patreon supporters to vote for the worst Trek episodes reviewed that year. For the winner, "Let He Who Is Without Sin", he spent half the episode replacing references to sex with references to cricket, with Vanessa Williams being controversial because of photos of her "playing cricket with the same team", and having killed Curzon with a cricket bat.

"And by now, you're probably a little tired of this Overly Long Gag. Well, imagine it stretched out to an hour, and you get why 'Let He Who Is Without Sin' is so frickin' boring."

During the Awfulthon 2015, Chuck firmly denied rumors that some of the judges bribed him.

Spider-Man was rescued from Cannon, in the kind of triumph that everybody loves. Yes, of course, I'm talking about a procedural error in the bowels of an inhuman bureaucracy. It seems that neither the 1985 deal nor the extension was registered at the copyright office, thus the rights would automatically revert to Marvel if it were to ever declare bankruptcy... which it had!YES! Our multi-year, company-destroying public dick-measuring contest saved the day!

In the Transformers History videos he points out a chance meeting between two executives while both were using the urinals in a bathroom is ironically one of the very few corporate interactions in the tale that didn't degenerate into a pissing contest.

Meta

When one of the commenters on one of his Voyager videos said, "Jesus Chuck what the hell do you have against Janeway (missing commas and all)," Chuck replied with: "Please, 'Chuck' is fine, there's no need to refer to me as 'Jesus Chuck.' I'm pretty sure that man's leprosy would have cleared up even if I hadn't touched him."

In a video explaining that due to very bad weather, his videos would be delayed.

Chuck: Mother Nature's wrath... Or Janeway, I did never find out if she finished that weather machine of hers.

Decker: "All those ships were named Enterprise." Mike Okuda: "You know, I don't see the NX-01 anywhere on there." Denise Okuda: "Jonathan Archer did something so horrible he got himself written out of the history books somehow."

On Solar Flares from Up the Long Ladder: "Get an umbrella, that will protect you!"

Talking about his career as a subsitute teacher: "Well we're not going to get the whole dynamic systems today. Sounds like a problem for somebody else. Good thing someone will be here tomorrow! < Evil Laugh >"

On which Trek is his favorite: "Ah! The same approach I take with my children! 'Which of you has disappointed me the least today! You shall not be punished.'"

On his analysis of how Roddenberry's views changed from TOS to TNG he uses a prime example of Gallows Humor by comparing it to dissecting a cat (you know how the cat works but you no longer have a cat)

Sigh. The sink is now clogged and black gunk is bubbling out of the bathtub drain. The last person Poseidon was this mad at was Odysseus.

While Chuck has mentioned being a fan of Dragon Age: Origins, this one was most likely unintentional, but his Running Gag of Janeway desiring people to be prostrate before her, becomes even more funny when one realises that in the sequel, the first thing Merrill does upon meeting Flemeth (voiced by Kate Mulgrew) is to do just that!

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