Lost in the translation

Jerry Wolfrom / Columnist Published: July 23, 2014 1:00 PM

There are four stages of funny jokes or humorous material -- a nod, a smile, a chuckle, and uproarious laughter.Below is something a reader passed on to me which I felt deserved to be re-told. It's worth at least a smile. Save it and re-read it whenever you're depressed.

SIGNS IN

CHINESE HOTELS

The Hotel: This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar.

The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

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Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed: Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

Above All: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

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