The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen eBook

Nature forms their minds for different pursuits before
they come into the world; from one shell comes forth
a warrior, from another a philosopher, from a third
a divine, from a fourth a lawyer, from a fifth a farmer,
from a sixth a clown, &c. &c., and each of them immediately
begins to perfect themselves, by practising what they
before knew only in theory.

When they grow old they do not die, but turn into
air, and dissolve like smoke! As for their drink,
they need none; the only evacuations they have are
insensible, and by their breath. They have but
one finger upon each hand, with which they perform
everything in as perfect a manner as we do who have
four besides the thumb. Their heads are placed
under their right arm, and when are going to travel,
or about any violent exercise, they generally leave
them at home, for they can consult them at any distance;
this is a very common practice; and when those of rank
or quality among the Lunarians have an inclination
to see what’s going forward among the common
people, they stay at home, i.e., the body stays
at home, and sends the head only, which is suffered
to be present incog., and return at pleasure
with an account of what has passed.

The stones of their grapes are exactly like hail;
and I am perfectly satisfied that when a storm or
high wind in the moon shakes their vines, and breaks
the grapes from the stalks, the stones fall down and
form our hail showers. I would advise those who
are of my opinion to save a quantity of these stones
when it hails next, and make Lunarian wine. It
is a common beverage at St. Luke’s. Some
material circumstances I had nearly omitted.
They put their bellies to the same use as we do a sack,
and throw whatever they have occasion for into it,
for they can shut and open it again when they please,
as they do their stomachs; they are not troubled with
bowels, liver, heart, or any other intestines, neither
are they encumbered with clothes, nor is there any
part of their bodies unseemly or indecent to exhibit.

Their eyes they can take in and out of their places
when they please, and can see as well with them in
their hand as in their head! and if by any accident
they lose or damage one, they can borrow or purchase
another, and see as clearly with it as their own.
Dealers in eyes are on that account very numerous
in most parts of the moon, and in this article alone
all the inhabitants are whimsical: sometimes green
and sometimes yellow eyes are the fashion. I
know these things appear strange; but if the shadow
of a doubt can remain on any person’s mind,
I say, let him take a voyage there himself, and then
he will know I am a traveller of veracity.

CHAPTER XIX

The Baron crosses the Thames without the assistance
of a bridge, ship, boat, balloon, or even his own
will: rouses himself after a long nap, and destroys
a monster who lived upon the destruction of others.