chasing life, one hilarious adventure at a time

brought to you at 2:48am

Waking up to the distinct sound of a child running through the house, saying “hi” in a whisper voice, then disappearing.

I was just laying in bed waiting on a kid to start climbing in the bed because I was woken up to footsteps and heard “hi”. I waited and waited for a kid to come in the bed.

Nothing happened. I opened my eyes and the door was open. I go in the hall and the girls’ doors are closed and they are both in bed.

Listen. I’m not going crazy. One of those children of mine ran in my room, said hi, then got back in their beds. I know for a fact my door was not open.

Those kids. Always playing with my mind and creeping me THE HECK OUT.

Dang, man.

In other news, I got my hair done today for the first time since March. March!!!!

I called and scheduled it, wrote down the time, and was all set to go.

Today I show up at 2:00 like my calendar said. I see that two people are waiting on the same girl and I’m all “dang… she really packs this place out and does many at once…”

I’m sitting there texting my friends like “y’all. What am I even going to do?! This is insane! She better not have overbooked this much!!! I can’t wait 4 hours!” I mean I’m getting tore up about it.

Finally the girl is able to get away from the girl in the chair. It’s about 2:30. She says, “Tiffany what is your last name?” I reply. Then she says…

“Honey, your appointment isn’t until 4:45….”

Hahahahahaha

I mean. This is my life, y’all. THIS IS MY LIFE.

I need a personal assistant ASAP.

Said assistant needs to be able to explain why my kids are so creepy and be able to book appointments and remind me of the right time.

The good news is, I do loooove my hair. I went all in with the red and now I don’t know if I can ever go back!

A couple of more things you should be aware of concerning my creepster children:

– Rory is swimming like a champ without her floaties. Ryder, as per usual, can’t decide if she likes the water at all. She’s good for about 30 min. After that, she’s pretty much done and miserable and her WEGS WON’T WORK. Lovely.

– Jasmine and her tiger are really giving me lots of trouble these days.

They do this on beds, other furniture, but most of all, to get on the kitchen counters.

– I’m going to have to put a lock on our pantry soon. Stinkers have decided they have free range of whatever food they can reach (or hoist each other up to reach as said in #2).

Sunday while we were getting ready for church, they ate five bags of chips, some cereal, 5 granola bars, and 3 pop tarts. It was incredible.

– Rory has become one with the role of big sister. She is hilarious and says “now Ryder, I am the big sister so I need to do this first to test it for you”. It’s super cute and Ryder, bless her content little heart, let’s her do whatever she wants.

One thing Rory is doing a lot these days is carrying Ryder. Ryder will say “I can’t!” about who-knows-what/everything in life and Rory chimes in with, “yes you can little sister! Let me carry you and show you!”

This delights Ryder to no end because she doesn’t have to use her legs. Because THEY DONT WORK half the time anyway.

It is uber uber adorable and Ryder clings to Rory like a spider monkey.

Bless Rory’s sweet proud big sister heart.

Look at them. My creepy precious children.

Happy Wednesday? I don’t even know because it is 2:48am and now I cannot sleep. Thankyouverymuch to whichever kid came into my room tonight. Ha!