An Okie teacher banished to the Midwest.
"Education is not the filling a bucket but the lighting of a fire."-- William Butler Yeats

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Thursday Thirteen Number 1

Thirteen Things about MS. CORNELIUS

13 Things I Hate About Winter:

1.There is no baseball during winter. This proves, indubitably, that winter is accursed.

2. There is even a nasty little period in the winter where there's no baseball, AND there's no football. That really is brutal.

3. I go to work in the morning, and it's dark.

4. Snow. And snow days. I would rather be in school when it's crappy outside, and get out of school when it's warm and sunny.

5. The way people drive in the snow and ice. Now, in Oklahoma, we only got ice, and everyone knows you really can't drive on ice, and we acknowledged that and stayed home. See, we're descended from people who survived winters on the prairie, so nature has self-selected hardy, survival-oriented types. But here? People think that driving a huge SUV means you're bulletproof. Which is fine if they would just slide off into a ditch without nearly annihilating others.

6. Sunlight deprivation. I think I have a touch of seasonal affective disorder, except that I get grumpy instead of sad.

7. Putting on layers of clothing to keep warm makes one look much fatter. Just the other day, I was blamed for influencing the tides at Lake Michigan. I'm probably the reason why Pluto was downgraded to a planet-in-waiting.

8. My nose is cold, but I'm sweating.Disgusting almost to the point of getting a botox injection-- but not quite.

9. Ice. I hate ice.

10. When one flake or ice pellet hits the ground, everyone within 100 miles dashes to the grocery stores in their big SUVs and buys up all the bread, milk and eggs. Because, after all, they might run out and not be able to get to the store if we get that quarter-inch of snow. It's as if everyone thinks that the ingredients for French toast form some kind of talisman against the cold.

11. Darkness at 5 pm. That's just wrong.

12. Blustery northern winds.

13. The field mice come into our school with a vengeance during winter, and they like to leave little presents all around. Can anyone say, "Hantavirus?" I thought you could.

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

One thing I have to say for Pennsylvania is they certainly do keep the roads clear -- they don't salt or sand, they clear the roads. Before you have to go to work. I found out when I moved here that if you slow down because it's snowing, people react quite negatively. The traffic keeps whizzing by at 75 and nobody notices the snow.

I hate the "ohmygosh-the-world-is-coming-to-an-end-I-must-go-grocery-shopping-NOW" phenomenon. When I lived in Houston, we saw the same thing when hurricanes were coming. I mean...we knew they were coming for days beforehand, but everyone waited until the last possible moment before cleaning out the plywood supply at Home Depot and the milk supply at the grocery store.

Hey, Ms. Cornelius, what you need is hockey. It would take care of numbers 1, 2 & 5. It's obvious why it would take care of 1 and 2, but it would also take care of #5, because if you were into hockey, you would know the song, "I Want to Drive the Zamboni." You see, you would be able to sing this song as you slid your car around your neighborhood, and then you would be just fine! Take it from a Minnesota guy--hockey's the answer for you.

CGH: And I HAVE an all-wheel drive vehicle. But I know 12 wheels won't help you on ice, so I stay home.

DF: Ummmmm, Hockey? HOCKEY?

We Okies do not play sports that Canadians dominate. We may let them borrow football, and look what they do-- they make it all weird. We do not do curling because our ice is never thick enough, and besides, it's like shuffleboard. Must say that I am unsure, therefore, about hockey.

What's On the Bookshelf? (And stacked on the floor, and in the loo, and next to my bed, and in my backpack....)

Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace

The Stripping of the Altars, by Eamonn Duffy

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling

Wishful Drinking, by Carrie Fisher

The Big Over Easy, by Jasper Fforde

Columbine, by Dave Cullen

The Forever War, by Dexter Filkins

Here, Bullet, by Brian Turner

Random Thoughts

"Read-ity read read read."-- The Ramblin' Educat

"Personally, I think for democracy to exist, opposition is key. History seems to bear that out. One sign you're doing a good job is when the only argument the extablishment can muster is "shut up" and variations on that theme.-- NYC Educator

"The only thing worse than having no taste is having no shame."-- via Mamacita

"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is because you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery & Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."-- Molly Ivins (via Mike in Texas!)

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."-- Dean Wormer, Animal House

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."-- John Steinbeck