Category Archives: Relationships

“One of the things I learnt when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself I could not change others”—Nelson Mandela

That is a true and powerful statement, and I say that because it has taken me many years to get to the point of seeing myself as a “good work” started. That good work has only been made a reality because of my changed mind. I changed my mind about myself, and have tried to live down what other people think about me and develop some kind of moral compass and believe in (not only) what I aspire to help with, but also what I believe will help. In essence, I can only help with what I am allowing (or have allowed) my self to get help with.

If I have not mentioned that I am in counseling, and understand that some people might believe that sharing such personal information is telling ones business. However, I do not see it like that, but do see if I cannot get help then I cannot help anyone, then it is a weakness on my part.

For one thing, I have to ask myself if I aspire to help women then how can I do that if I cannot go and bear all to become free to help? I cannot say that I will help women in whatever manner if I am still angry, or unforgiving, or bogged down with grief. So then, I seek to help myself, thereby, changing myself to become a woman who can help. Therefore, if I aspire to help in any area, such as women need that “to Innovate, Inform, Influence, Inspire” (The Dailey Grind, 2016) then I must change myself. Additionally, some situations we live out change us, some challenge us; however, the most change comes when we do introspection to look deeply into what we need to work [out] within us to save ourselves first.

Concerning our work, and the changes we seek to make, and or, those we work with—or participants. I must say that I cannot hear a team, work with a group if I have issues to address and that are unmet. I believe this is why there are colleagues who do not work well together in collaboration, or are not well matched in the negotiation stage. Consequently, many people might come together for a cause but coming together requires as Spiro (2011) mentions, ‘that leaders be ready’, and goes back to me and counseling to ‘prepare’ myself for the work.

Probably the change I seek is more deeper rooted than many because (like those I help) I speak from a place I have lived already—a place from the heart of the change. Hence, perhaps it would be well to gather other ideas and opinions during the planning. For example, assessing the readiness of the individuals involved” as mentioned Spiro (2011) who asked if people were on the same page concerning the change, or rather, do people have prior experience with functionally illiterate clients? Have they been in the past functionally illiterate? “Do participants speak the same language when it comes to the strategy? Not only the same words, but the same meaning? (26). So what does my team bring with them to the planning of this action?

Are shared values supported? In essence, even those learners, those affected –are all speaking the same language? Ultimately, one should ask how else are we going to help alleviate and rescue the people who are suffering whether in the class or in life outside of the classroom in our every day lives.

We don’t like to think of ourselves as criminals. That’s because we look at the act instead of the thinking. So then the tendency to not see the spiritual in the transgression of the law and sin is missing, and is why people can transgress (break) Yahuah’s command without batting an eye. It is because we do not perceive, or cannot perceive that the law is a spiritual one.

First, Yahuah is Spirit, and those who give respect to, look at, turn to look at, cast their gaze on Him must follow the commands in spirit and in truth.

Secondly, it takes a spiritual mind to not do the things found in the law, that is, do not bring His name to naught, do not make graven images, do not bear false witness and do not covet and to remember the Shabbat to keep it set apart.

In other words, to not be found guilty of whats in that law then one must know and believe that (1) a spiritual hand wrote it, (2) transgression of the law is spiritual against Yahuah, then ones spiritual self and the other person [s] spirit they transgress the law against, (3) a spiritual mind perceives it, (4) a spiritual mind follows it, and (5) spiritual mind breaks or keeps it.

For example, a person is committing the act of adultery transgresses Yahuah’s command first in his mind (his spirit), because of this he transgresses further by his acts (his fruit), then he transgresses the command further by participation to transgress the law with another. Does that make sense. Then see that the transgression is so against Yahuah who is Spirit, your spirit and the other peoples spirit man. There is nothing that is not attached in a spirit whether of Yahuah or of the enemy.

Therefore, one is either walking in spirit and in truth (Law Keeper) or walking in spiritual wickedness (Law Breaker). We can tell which by their acts when it shows in their fruit.

Today: We should ask ourselves does my fruit show righteousness of truth?

Did you know that 1 in 16 black men and 1 in 32 black women are diagnosed with HIV?

Statistics from the Center of Disease Control [CDC] estimate that in 2010, there were 44 percent of African American adults and adolescents carry the horrific burden of contracting and spreading the virus—13 and older.

Accordingly, African Americans account for 13 percent of the entire population but present with the virus eight times more than whites.

Here are the numbers:

70% African American men (14,700) of all new cases out of the 20,900 new cases reported

African American men account for 63.6 new cases out of 100,000 populace which is 7 times higher than white men

Men having sex with other men account for 72 percent (10,600) of new cases, and gay and bisexual men between the ages of 13-24 than any other race represented which means that Bisexual and gay men are more than 3 times more affected than other races

African American women represent 29 percent of all new cases, that is 6.100 of adult and adolescent women, but since 2008 there is a decrease to 21 percent

1 percent out of 100,000 women have the virus which is 20 times higher than white women and 5 times more than Hispanic and Latino women

The need to bring this news to your house is urgent, and urgent for us all as a group; even more than for the individual who suffers such a fate. Consequently, when speaking concerning HIV as an epidemic in America the premise here is that people may not feel that the issue affects them since it’s not in their house. However, generally speaking the premise here is not the houses we live in per se’, but the house of Africans as a nation within America whose members are attracting the virus daily. Let us not forget that end of the woeful event for many is death; therefore, there is a need to deliver this news to your door, to my door and the doors of our neighbors that we are dying ever so slowly from the silence of non-adherence to the call that HIV creeps softly, but AIDS kills loudly.

I want all of us to get this warning, because we see a very small sound coming from health officials concerning this matter, or, we do not take heed concerning taking care ourselves, to educate ourselves because our children are dying, our women, our men. It is the case, that with all the education available we must send this call out right up and to the doorsteps of every person to feed of its contents at the dinner table, and especially when we prepare to lay down unprotected.

I ask —do your love yourself? We are going in-depth about this topic, dedicating much time to discuss every single detail to alleviate and protect our house that means the group, the family and the individual. It is the case that if we do not learn the truth about the behavior that leads to contact then no one can save us.
Look for more information on HIV and African Americans coming soon!

Having sex is not love. Generally men may think this way, and women think giving sex is love. However, one cannot place a measurement there to say that sex is love, and one should ask when did the Most High say that sex is love?

In this, one should think that seeking sex is seeking love in the wrong place. People love sex, but sex does not seek love that lasts. Hence, one should see that though sex is good it is not love, because when we love a person we may give sex freely; however, in that same note withhold it when we do not love any longer.

Sex is not love then, because love does not fail us when sex is no more, and love is withstanding when sex is not available

. Love suffers, and sex finds another option. Therefore, sex fails when love does not. It is the case, that without love we have nothing but sex which produces babies to love and to recreate love in itself, but since love is not sex–loveless sex can walk away.

Ladies and Gentlemen love is sexless which says that ultimately one must find the realm of making love not sex.

1Co 7:2 But because of whoring, let each one have his own wife, anave her own husband.

Seems that some of us didn’t hear this word in its entirety. So here goes truth.

Because of whoring. Many of us consider a whore, or rather, one who whores to be someone out there looking around and having sex with any ol fella. However, from this text a whore can be so even if she might be married. Of course, in marriage the added pang of adultery rings true as well, but for this cause we want to know whose a whore and what makes a whore, because chances are one is a whore by what she thinks rather than the clothing she puts on.

Let’s face it. Women who are scantily dress are considered such though she may not be that way. It is the case, that society brings this type thinking on a woman because of styles in dress. So it is fair to say if boobs are out, shorts showing cheeks a woman may be more likely to be labeled a whore than the one who is covered. However, there are probably more whores covered than meet the eye.

Its all in what we think, because someone with not much clothes may not give him the time of day while the one presenting herself as chaste is down right freaky in her mind.

What is a whore?

Similar terms apply (a) a cult prostitute, (b) a harlot: To act or be, and (c) unfaithfulness

So we see there are many terms to fit and cover a great many women. So lets narrow the search shall we?

Here we focus on a cult prostitute and know that these are women known to frequent so called congregations. Back in biblical times these women would go and visit the temple, hang around it and make themselves available to men.

Do you think that changed? See all the women flocking the churches after the preachers/pastors and ask are they covered? Are they dressed?

Cult Prostitutes, but the changed words has us believing the women because of their dress are these. Basically, there are some decent women just misguided, but who have they to model themselves after?

I had no idea Lady GaGa was so pretty. She is a beautiful woman and speaking of her rape at 19 years old, and a subsequent video about the event she says, “I was messed up!” Notably, the star says that she was not so messed up when the event took place, but decidedly pronounces that years later did notice her plight. She spoke about not telling anyone, and even a time when she saw her attacker in the store where she shopped she says though afraid she never told. In essence, it is that way until we own up to the truth, that is it happened and learn to deal with the pain.

In saying that we learn to tell with the pain, Lady GaGa doesn’t see herself as messed up but her outer appearance is a matter of deviance to cover up something and says something altogether different.

In essence some of us are all covering something, that is, hurtfulness never dealt with. Hence, we do outlandish things to draw attention away…lest any one know our secret. No matter, Yah knows our hurt and he cares.

Today: Cast it away!

For your hearing:
Cast your burden on יהוה, And let Him sustain you; He never allows the righteous to be shaken. For You, O Elohim, do bring them down To the pit of destruction; Men of blood and deceit do not reach half their days; But I, I trust in You. (Psalms 55:22,23).

Heb 10:26 For if we sin purposely after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a slaughter offering for sins

David knew he must go to the Most High with his sin, because as he described his bones waxed old. When someone uses this term waxed old it means that he was weighted down and worn out. Hence, this is the feeling one gets when a burdenous guilt is about us.

How is it then if we are feeling downcast in our spirit, bowed over and overflowing with ‘our’ sin that we think we can lay our hands on someone else without confessing that?

Some of you experienced that today at the alter. Tsk, Tsk. Shameful that we take the Most High for a fool.

David said, “Because I kept silence, my bones waxed old, from my crying all the day. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: [Therefore] I became thoroughly miserable while a thorn was fastened in me. [Therefore] I acknowledged my sin, and hid not mine iniquity: I said, I will confess mine iniquity to the Lord against myself; and thou forgavest the ungodliness of my heart. (Psalm 32:2-8). [Emphasis Added].

And further he adds, “Therefore shall every holy one pray to thee in a fit time: only in the deluge of many waters they shall not come nigh to him. (v.6).

Ask: what is a fit time? In the translation the phrase is in a time when he may be found, however what is a fit time?

When something fits it is appropriate, that is, if I am bound by sin then the appropriation would be to come to the Most High ready to admit my guilt, not coming as if I haven’t did nothing. This thing is a suitable, appropriate time even David knew that and he was living according to Torah when there was still a sacrifice. Can anyone hear that?. Then how is it that someone is thinking with their soiled mind that we can do any old thing and then come to the Most High to pray without confession….literally unclean–its impossible.