In a lame attempt at being "cool," the Vatican's official newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano yesterday wrote, "Few people know it, and he does everything he can to hide it, but it is true: Homer J Simpson is a Catholic." Uh, ok.

The article, simply titled "Homer and Bart are Catholics," makes the claim that the lovable, beer guzzling fat ass Homer Simpson deep down is a real deal Catholic. The paper cites as evidence of the Simpsons' faith the fact that the cartoon family "recites prayers before meals and, in their own peculiar way, believes in the life thereafter." The church in the past has said it is ok for Catholics to watch The Simpsons, but now they're adopting him as a fellow believer. The Vatican doesn't mind that Homer sleeps during church and serves up "never-ending humiliation" on neighbor Ned Flanders, because he really is a true believer, according to the Telegraph.

If you're like us and don't read Italian, you can use the not-too-reliable Google Translate on L'Osservatore Romano's site here.