REVIEW: Original Fat Free Pringles

Growing up my mom gave me the nickname of “The Human Garbage Disposal.”

Oh wait, maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that, because I have a feeling that nickname is going to haunt me in the future.

Anyway, she called me that because during dinner I made sure there weren’t any leftovers, except when dinner was tuna casserole or liver. Of course, this explained the many years of husky clothes, but then again I was a bookworm during those years and my idea of exercise was doing 100 reps of turning the pages of Choose Your Own Adventure books.

Although the nickname didn’t carry on into college, the spirit of The Human Garbage Disposal continued and evolved. In the college cafeteria, where food was served buffet-style, my friends mixed several foods together and dared me to eat it.

However, after college, The Human Garbage Disposal almost completely disappeared. There were brief moments when it would appear when I was dared to eat a piece of candy accidentally dropped on the floor or scarf down jalapenos with hot sauce at Mexican restaurants.

Recently, Impulsive Buy reader Damon dared me to eat a can of Olestra-laced Fat Free Pringles. After what happened to me with the Olestra-ted Ruffles Light, I knew this might be something only the Human Garbage Disposal could accomplish.

Fat Free Pringles aren’t a new product. I believe they were one of the first products with Olestra. Ever since they were released, I’ve never really had the urge to try them because they were twice the price of regular Pringles. Thanks to you, Damon, I now had the urge to try them.

The problem with Pringles is the fact that once you pop, you can’t stop. There have been several occasions when I have eaten an entire can of Pringles in one sitting. This time didn’t turn out to be one of those occasions, because I’m now older, wiser, and I thought I was running out of toilet paper.

So while watching VH1’s Remaking: Vanilla Ice, I popped open a can of Fat Free Pringles and began chomping it down chip-by-chip.

I also began to recreate those dance moves Vanilla Ice used to do, like that one move where he would just hump the floor and the other one that involved him shaking his head violently like bobblehead doll, while doing the Running Man.

Before I knew it, I had gone through half the can of Fat Free Pringles and solidified my title as, “Worst Dancer Ever.”

I couldn’t believe I ate half the can, because the Fat Free Pringles didn’t taste very good. It didn’t even come close to tasting like regular Pringles. Heck, it didn’t even come close to tasting like Reduced Fat Pringles.

Despite eating half the can in one sitting and finished up the rest of the Fat Free Pringles the next day, I surprisingly didn’t find myself spending a lot of time on the crapper. Actually, all I experienced was some bad gas.

I don’t know if my time spent digesting the Ruffles Light potato chips made my stomach stronger or if I got a dud can of Fat Free Pringles, but either way that can of Fat Free Pringles was definitely my first AND last can.

Item: Original Fat Free PringlesPurchase Price: $1.99Rating: 3 out of 10Pros: No exploding anus. Zero grams of fat. Zero milligrams of cholesterol.Cons: Twice the price of regular Pringles. Doesn’t even come close to tasting like regular Original Pringles. Some gas. My title as, “Worst Dancer Ever.”

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18 thoughts to “REVIEW: Original Fat Free Pringles”

Now you are just taunting the anal god. DO NOT TAUNT THE ANAL GOD! You know its possible to actually crap out your internal end-organs? Rare, but possible. You keep taunting the anal god by eating stuff like that and you will have to use a toilet wand to retrieve your plumbing!

my heart goes out to your poor bum. by the way, when I was young, me and my friends would have dare contests like that – where we’d mix Pepsi and paprika and milk, whatever we had on hand, and make these DISGUSTING concoctions. I’m gagging just THINKING about the crap we drank. blech!

Man, you are one hell of a trooper… Hm… are we all supposed to dare you to eat a can of refried beans now? =) I don’t know what the protocol is for food-challenging you. Oh, btw i’m still looking for Ketchup Pringles, is that limited ed. gone already?

I really can’t believe you took that bet, I’ve heard stories about Olestra that make me shudder. If you want something sweet to try, try out the new Dunkin Donuts Iced Latte. Parts of it are kinda watered down, but as you get towards the bottom it gets really good.