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06 February, 2009

It's All Facebook

"Who was your first crush?" My friend asked as she and I sat over wine and chatted about the good old days. This light hearted topic was the direct result of my daughter and her odd boy related comments.

"I remember chasing the cute boys (and being chased) in 3rd grade.” 3rd grade... when I was younger than my daughter is now. I remember "Liking" a boy named Jonathon. Man... He was cute!

She remembered crushes in 3rd grade too. She remembered the boys playing chase and realizing who was being chased and who wasn't.

Suddenly I was back there in the little town. I was remembering the days of chase and simplicity. I was wondering when my daughter is Going to think that someone is "cute!" And I was thinking about finding Jonathon on Facebook.

Facebook... the vehicle through which class reunions are now being planned and that through which I am back in touch with people I never thought I would hear from or see again.

When I left high school, I really tried to leave high school. Granted, I didn't leave it in college as much as I had hoped... and after that, I stayed in touch with very few people. High school was just a little part of my life.

As I explained to Ms Llama over steaming cups of coffee... okay, perhaps they weren't steaming, but mine had chocolate…High school was a different world. I admired her willingness to allow her high school world and her current world to collide. I wasn't sure that I was ready to do it. (To date, I am still not exactly sure that I am ready to do it but…)

And then I found myself doing it. I found myself finding people from my high school class and the class under mine and befriending these people. Some of them I remembered... and some of them I didn't. But there I was allowing my two worlds to collide.

It has been interesting to say the least. I look at what everyone is doing and am so thrilled to have the limited information I have and that they offer. It is just... nice.

And then... get this... I started finding people from the classes above mine!

These were the untouchables. These were the people that were so beyond me while I was there. Granted, I didn't find them intimidating at all, they were just... older. They were always that much ahead of where we were and what we were doing. Now... some of them are my friends! It seems totally random. It seems completely at odds with the person that I am. We have each come so very far; the playing field has leveled. We are all in the midst of our lives and nearing 40... And wow, it is kind of fun to see just how far everyone has come.

I agree. It is fun to reconnect! Especially since my high school reunion prompted many of us to stay in touch anyway. I think sometimes we have to go back to our pasts to make some peace... and move forward.

I enjoy the rupture of the childhood image with the knowledge of what all the childhood companions have now become. Part of that occurred with my friend in Malawi--and we were all permitted to mourn that loss together, albeit so far apart, thanks in great part to FB.

We aren't the same people we were back then, and I love to surprise just as much as I love to be surprised. I also have felt, of late, a desperate need to reconnect with the past that created the person I am now--including the interactions with so many people, in so many different cultures and times and everything. I have had that wish granted. But that isn't for everyone, especially for those who don't like to look back and/or those who don't necessarily like change. And that is fine. We all are ourselves and that is to be respected.

I'm glad to see you have come to feel good on FB. It's nice that we can make it what we want it for ourselves. There are the hard-core gamers, and I just don't pertain to that group. It fulfills one, perhaps two (sudoku/word games!) purposes for me and that's good enough for me!