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Thursday, 4 July 2013

The Puzzle of Wine Puzzles. WHY?

- By Sam Green

We've all seen them. Maybe you've been given a bottle for your birthday but it's been encased in a beastly wooden contraption. I'll admit they can be fun for the first few minutes but they really shouldn't be that hard to solve! Even after you've pooled the collective knowledge of everyone you know and seriously contemplated the use of your Black and Decker (other power tools are available) to get past that wooden devil, you're still left with a bottle that you really want but can't get in to. Seriously, some of these thing require a PhD in quantum mechanics to crack open.

Imagine the absolutely bizarre concept that you actually manage to figure out one of these devices and remove the bottle. Then what? You're left with a bundle of wood and rope that's completely useless. What, you think you could just give it to somebody else? If it was that hard to open, it's even harder to put back together! The stress that was suffered when cracking that safe is doubled when putting these wretched things back together, wondering whether that rope would be strong enough to hold your own weight as it dangles from the roof beam.

Of course there's always the possibility that you NEVER get it open, and 50 years later, you're tormented by the bottle that never was! But I think by that point, you'll probably have just broken the damn thing.

If you're ever thinking of buying one of these for someone, seriously...don't! They may be fun for a while but the amount of pain and anguish that you will cause is not worth it. Please people, have a heart. Use the extra few pounds you would've spent on the devils work and put it towards the bottle. Your friends will love you forever.