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Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

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Author
Topic: waiting for test results... (Read 2364 times)

Hi everyone. Not sure where to post this, or if someone else has already started a siimilar thread. Anyone out there currently waiting for their HIV test results?? I took an oral test two days ago, and I should get the results within about a week. I am pretty low-risk, but not no-risk, and that remote possibility of a positive result is wearing on my nerves. I went to this place to get a free anonymous oral test, but it turns out their website was mistaken; it claimed they offered rapid result oral tests, but that isn't the case as they only offer standard oral tests which have to be sent in to the state health dept's lab. Well, I guess since I took the test the worst is over, but damn this waiting period thing is torture. i don't think I am infected, but if I was sure I wouldn't be taking the test. Its been 4 years since my last HIV test and the reason its been so long is because I have been too much of a chicken to actually get tested. I've even gone as far as making an appointment, letting friends know, then no-showing the appointment and telling everyone the results were negative. I think I finally reached the point where I couldn't live with this in the back of my mind anymore and forced myself to get tested. I even signed a waiver allowing the counselor to call me with the results. She cannot disclose positive results over the phone, but if its negative she will tell me over the phone. Basically, with her phone call, I will be able to deduce the results of the test. I think perhaps a part of this nagging anxiety (in the back of my mind, doesn't bother me at work or school) has to do with guilt over poor decisions I made a long time ago (ie. getting drunk and having one-night-stands with random women using condoms only haphazardly, geting drunk and picking up prostitutes using protection haphazardly, getting drunk and experimenting with the same sex). Very stupid decisions, I know, but I don't do those things anymore, and only experimented with the guy once (turns out I'm pretty straight, but that is irrelevant since HIV is indiscriminate), and was stupid enough to not use protection (very naive at that point about how HIV is transmitted). Now I'm just hoping to hell that I didn't lose my game of sexual russian roulette now that I finally got the balls to go get tested. Anyhow I was just looking for a place to vent where I could be totally honest for once (I wouldn't even tell my best friend about my previous risk factors) and not be judged. Man, it feels so much better finally getting this off my chest (I even lied to the HIV counselor about my risk factors). Is there anyone out there who is going through this same ordeal right now??

I have moved your thread into this Forum which is where it belongs. You did the not easy but smart thing by getting tested. HIV status is never something to guess about. It's harder to transmit HIV from female to male rather than the other way round, so that works in your favor for a negative result.

You need to learn from this experience. Hopefully you will test negative. In the future you need to wear a condom every time you have vaginal or anal intercourse. No exceptions. No matter what you think you know about a person's history or how great they look, a condom is a must.

I notice you have been posting in the research section. Technically that is allowable but what is NOT allowable is telling other people "screw you." Leave all chips on your shoulder at the door, please, no matter which forum you are writing in.

Actually Andy, that was years ago and Ann and I have already discussed this issue. I admitted that screw you is not appropriate and she admitted that RapidRod can be an abrasive jerk and she understands why I bit his head off. She said she would be willing to look the other way on my research postings as long as I had no more spats like that. BTW, as I discussed with Ann, I have been researching HIV in university classes for the last three years (mostly as a result of the guilt/anxiety regarding past behaviors, but at least it has enlightened me), which is why she said she didn't mind my research forum posting as long as I didn't make a stink.

Actually Andy, that was years ago and Ann and I have already discussed this issue. I admitted that screw you is not appropriate and she admitted that RapidRod can be an abrasive jerk and she understands why I bit his head off. She said she would be willing to look the other way on my research postings as long as I had no more spats like that. BTW, as I discussed with Ann, I have been researching HIV in university classes for the last three years (mostly as a result of the guilt/anxiety regarding past behaviors, but at least it has enlightened me), which is why she said she didn't mind my research forum posting as long as I didn't make a stink.

Andy has answered your question. You would do well to let those other matters go.

Actually Andy, that was years ago and Ann and I have already discussed this issue. I admitted that screw you is not appropriate and she admitted that RapidRod can be an abrasive jerk and she understands why I bit his head off. She said she would be willing to look the other way on my research postings as long as I had no more spats like that. BTW, as I discussed with Ann, I have been researching HIV in university classes for the last three years (mostly as a result of the guilt/anxiety regarding past behaviors, but at least it has enlightened me), which is why she said she didn't mind my research forum posting as long as I didn't make a stink.

I never once said that Rodney was "an abrasive jerk". Never. I still have my PM to prove it. What I said to you was this:

Technically, you shouldn't really post in the Research Forum, but as you've never caused problems there (aside from the spat with Rodney - but he can be abrupt/rude at times, I get that), I'll continue to look the other way. And yes, I know it's been nearly two years since you posted there.

But now that you've misrepresented what I said to you to such an inflammatory extent, I've just changed my mind about allowing you to post anywhere but in this, the Am I Infected forum.

The only reason I PMd you in the first place, if you'll remember, is because I had to explain the posting guidelines of this forum to you after you made an unauthorised reply here that I had to delete.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

The results came back negative. Its nice to finally be rid of that worry in the back of my mind. Since I now know for a fact that I'm HIV-, there is no more reason for me to hang around these forums worrying about it. Goodbye and good luck everyone.