The Untrue Wish

This is a sequel to my story "His last wish." I hope it makes since. ENJOY!!!

A couple years have gone by since Jayden died from brain cancer. The Jones family is still taking it day by day. Payton still has emotional moments every once in a while. Gavin still wishes they would of found the cancer sooner. Gavin still thinks it is somewhat his fault that Jayden died. Jaylon is still too young to understand what is or what has gone on. Jaylon is only one in half years old.

Dr. Gavin Jones has opened his own medical practice. Payton opened up a day care, and she takes Jaylon to work with her every day. The Jones family has since moved to a new house, but it is still in the same town that the old house was in. Payton could not think living in a house where she had both her husband die and son die. Payton also could not find it in her to say goodbye to Jayden completely.

In a couple of days it would be three years since Jayden died. The emotions were really high in the Jones household right now. The Jones family did not realize how much Jayden was loved and meant to the community.

It was a sunny, winter day this December 4, 2017. The whole community did something for the Jones family. Some just gave them a thinking of you on this day card, and others made them lunch or took them out to dinner. Some of the girls from town offered to watch Jaylon for the day, and some of the boys offered to do the landscaping touch ups on there yard. The community did not just do these things for them today, but they did it all week for the Jones family.

Payton now gets really cautious whenever Jaylon gets sick. She had Gavin check and make sure that she is okay. Payton has also decided to homeschool Jaylon that way she cannot get sick from all the other little children.

A few years have passed and Jaylon is now ten years old. She plays softball, basketball, and volleyball for the community. The Jones family is involved with the community quite a bit. Gavin’s practice is running great. Payton had to close the day care and she now works stocking shelves at BJ’s. She works at night so she can homeschool Jaylon. Then one-day things got bad in the Jones’ house.

One day as Payton was driving home from work, she got hit by a drunk driver who he was going to go seventy-five miles per hour down a back road and run a stop sign. Before Payton could do anything to prevent it from happening, the man hit her car on the driver side and sent the car rolling of the road. Another car came along and saw the accident, and they called the police and called for an ambulance. When the ambulance got to the scene, they got Payton and the man out of their cars as fast as they could. When the police identified that she was Dr. Gavin Jones’s wife, they called him immediately, and he meet them at the hospital.

Gavin asked their neighbors if they could watch Jaylon while he was at the hospital. Jaylon had no clue what happened and was very confused. Her neighbors just tried to act as if everything was all right, that nothing happened.

When Gavin got to the hospital, both Payton and the man were in comas. The doctors got them situated in rooms and then monitored them to make sure every thing was okay.

The next morning when Gavin went to pick Jaylon up from their neighbors house, Jaylon asked, “Dad, where is Mommy? Is she in the car waiting for us?”

“No, sweetie. Mommy is not out in the car waiting for us. Mommy is in a coma at the hospital. Mommy got in a car accident last night. Someone ran into mommies car while they were driving down the rode last night.” Gavin responded trying to sound strong while telling Jaylon.

“I want to go see mommy right now.” Jaylon said as she started to run towards the car.

“Jaylon, sweetie. You need to stay here with the Bartlett family right now. Okay.”

“Daddy, I want to see mommy right now, not later, but right now.”

“Please Jaylon. Daddy needs to go to the hospital and check and see how mommy is.”

Mrs. Bartlett went and comforted Jaylon and held he back as her dad left to go to the hospital. For a while Mrs. Bartlett sat on there lawn and comforting Jaylon, then a couple minutes later Jaylon asked if they could go in side and lay down because she did not feel good.

The next day Gavin went and picked up Jaylon from the Bartlett’s house and brought her to the hospital to see Payton. Both Payton and the other man were still in comas, but Jaylon still liked seeing her mom. Jaylon did not leave that room for the next two days. She slept in the room with her mom, and would the eat food that her dad would bring her to the room.

The next day Payton died, and the other man came out of his coma. The man was immediately charged with murder and drinking while driving. They gave the man a sentence of life in prison. They also made the man pay for Payton’s funeral. The whole community showed up at her funeral. Jaylon was really mad at the man for killing her mommy. Jaylon actually went and visited the man in prison, and the man apologized to her for killing her mom.

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I liked this, but the first one was definitely better. I liked the whole story line, but there were quite a few gramatical errors. You also jumped back and forth between past and present tense (don't worry, I do this a lot) but I liked the story.