The Practice of Loving Presence "Applied Buddhism"

"We
are participatory beings who inhabit a participatory reality, seeking
relationships that enhance our sense of what it means to be alive."
(Stephen Batchelor: Buddhism Without Beliefs)

As Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield says, the spiritual life is not
about fighting ourselves, as so many of us tend to do, but rather it
is "sitting
in the midst of all things and letting the self open to them with the
heart of compassion and the beginner's mind of a child .” Hakomi
and the Practice of Loving Presence are an invitation to this opening.

More and more, western culture is feeling the influence of the east and
its spiritual traditions. Since the Chinese invasion of Tibet, Tibetan Buddhism
has been spreading its teachings of wisdom and compassion throughout the
world. Buddhism, unlike most religions, is a practice more than a set of
beliefs. Its most visible spokesman, the Dalai Lama, has said, "My religion
is kindness".

Wisdom without words

Born of inner silence

Carried within the heart

Dispensed with loving kindness

This is true medicine.

(David Crow: In Search of the Medicine Buddha)

The three main aspects of the practice of Buddhism are called buddha, dharma
and sangha. Buddha (which literally means awake) refers to the act of waking
up to our real nature and to the truth about suffering. Dharma is the path,
the way out of unnecessary suffering. Sangha refers to the community or support
group which helps us on this path.

Hakomi has strong parallels with each of these aspects of Buddhism. The
Hakomi Method is essentially a method of mindfulness-based assisted self-discovery.
We assist each other to discover whatever habits and beliefs are contributing
to unnecessary suffering. We do this by using simple interactive experiments
in mindfulness. In order for this self-discovery to happen in a context of
safety, we practice a way of being which we call Loving Presence.

Loving Presence is a state of mind in which one person (for example the
therapist) sees the other (the client) in a certain way, a way that is nourishing
for both. It is a way of perceiving the beauty in the other, seeing the person
as a source of inspiration, or perhaps recognizing something that is universally
human, something that touches the heart.

This way of seeing someone has a receptive quality to it, as if the simple
act of taking the person in is a kind of nourishment, a gift. This way of
perceiving creates an attitude that is subtly felt by the other person, who
somehow knows she is being appreciated, respected, loved in a spiritual way.
People feel safe then to open up, to reveal themselves, to explore themselves.

In Hakomi trainings we use the group to support each person to experience
loving presence from both directions. The group becomes what in Buddhism
is called a sangha. In his book, Buddhism without Beliefs, Stephen
Batchelor refers to sangha as a kind of friendship.

"In terms of dharma practice" he writes, "a
true friend is more than just someone with whom we share common values
and who accepts us for what we are. Such a friend is someone whom we
can trust to refine our understanding of what it means to live, who
can guide us when we're lost and help us find the way along a path, who
can assuage our anguish through the reassurance of his or her presence."

Hakomi for the Buddhist-Minded (in Austin Texas)

This approach to psychotherapy as assisted self-discovery is based on the
Hakomi principles of unity, organicity, mindfulness, non-violence, and body-mind-spirit
wholeness. These principles are also an intrinsic part of Buddhist tradition:

1. Unity is the principle that embraces the concept
of Oneness and interconnectedness. Thich Nhat Han coined a term for this: interbeing.

2. Organicity trusts the wisdom within us all.
There is a natural order from which everything unfolds, including healing.

3. Mindfulness is a practice of witnessing present
experience in order to bring the light of consciousness to our lives.

4. Non-violence (ahimsa) flows naturally out of
the first three principles and becomes compassion and loving kindness.

5. Wholeness pervades experience, reminding us
that body, mind, and spirit are its expression. In Hakomi, we work at the
interface of all three

Just as Buddhism recognizes the possibility of freedom from unnecessary
suffering and suggests a path to that end, so too does Hakomi offer a way to
reduce suffering by bringing to consciousness limiting or damaging beliefs
and behaviors. One step on the Buddhist eight-fold path to end suffering is
called “right seeing”.