And Then There Were Flowers

Last week sucked. I mean it sucked so hard, it choked on King Kong’s dong. Believe it or not, this week is a fuckton worse. But this is about last week, not this week’s special brand of misery.

But you know what? I’m finally starting to see that maybe, just maybe, it’s worth it for me to fight through it. It’s worth it for me to not lose sight of my goals and hopes and dreams. Because I deserve happiness, too. (What the fuck did I just say? For real? Yeah, you miserable bitch, take that! We’re not gonna be miserable forever! So fuck you!)

Ahem. And there have been a few very specific people who have been helped me through some of my most recent darkest hours. I don’t want to call out names, in case it would make you uncomfortable. But every fucking one of you know who you are. The emails. The voice recordings. The phone calls. The silly memes. The comforting. The commiseration. And I love y’all for it, I do. Not the I wanna sex you up kinda love (well maybe one of you – maybe). But there are other kinds of love, and I’m feeling this wonderful familial vibe from so many of you. It’s taken me by storm. And you all overwhelm me with your goodness.

And then there were flowers.

Last Friday, my name was called over the intercom at work. “Stephanie Llaneous, please report to the front desk. Stephanie, please report to the front desk.” Whatever. I figured it was time to pony up another buck for the office powerball pool. When I finally get down there, I round the corner and the women up there are grinning at me. There was a bouquet of flowers up there, and they were for me!

I was befuddled. I mean, who would send me flowers? So I looked at the card, and here’s what it reads:

For a Very Special Friend. Have a Good Day.

The fuck?

I don’t have any Very Special Friends. I mean, not outside of the blogosphere. And even if you know where I work, that isn’t enough. I work in a very specific building, so it had to be someone who knew that. And no one in bloggyville does.

So the mystery begins.

The people I share an office with were lovin’ it. And dying to know, right along with me. So then the questions started: are you seeing anyone we don’t know about? Does someone in the office have a crush on you? Duh. Creepy Carl and Panel Van Paco. But neither of them would buy flowers. They’d just chloroform me and stuff me in their trunks. What about outside the office? Crushes who know where you work? Look, people. No one crushes on The Stephanie, capiche?

The only person I could think of would be my ex who, no matter how many years go by, still wants me back. (It’s a difficult story, y’all, and one I’m not ready to talk about here.) So anyway, I call him up.

It wasn’t me. I wish it was, so you’d know you’re never far from my mind. But it wasn’t me.

Then it was like, “Oh my god, Stephanie! What if it’s a woman?!” So then I actually started getting ideas.

First, there is a woman who works in the room with me, and she’s so sweet and fun and motherly. And she knows a little of the fact that I’ve had a very difficult time of late. No details, just generally speaking. Plus she’s witnessed most of the work bullying and has my back big time. So I asked her, point blank.

Nice Lady, did you send these flowers to me?

No way! I wish I had, but they sure are gorgeous! I promise I’d tell you, but it wasn’t me!

Then it hit me. And my sneaking suspicion turned out to be true. It was a woman, someone I’ve had lots of official dealings with during my time at this company. She sends Christmas cards, Halloween buckets filled to the brim with premium candy, King Cakes, etc. For the whole office throughout the year. And when I moved departments, she would make sure that I’d be included by sending me a separate little card or gift. She always missed me when I moved departments, and I missed working with her. She was a bright spot in my days when I’d work with her or talk with her (but oh my god can that woman drone on and on!).

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve had to clean up messes made by some others (not to imply I don’t make my own now and then), so I’ve been working closely with her again. (She’s outside the company, by the way.)

Later that day, last Friday, she sends me an email to thank me for the most recent thing I had prepared for her. And then she asked…”So, any surprises today?” And my suspicion was confirmed. I was in the middle of doing something else for her, and she wanted to make it clear it had nothing to do with the personal pet project she needed help with. But it was to let me know that I’m much appreciated and how much she appreciates my efficiency, kindness, attitude, and on and on. And then she said,

Also, I just had this nagging feeling that you could use a pick-me-up.

Every time something like this happens, I become more and more convinced of the interconnection of spirits and souls or what have you. I know there’s a word for it, but I can’t word right now. (Fuck you, brainhole.)

And then she offered me a job. Which is straight up poaching, because my current supervisor is the one she works directly with here! I’d take it in an instant, but my choices were between two cities I have no interest in residing in. However, their company does have a big location in the Pacific Northwest. So she could totally be an in for me. I’m gearing up to ask her for a reference. But this all requires a separate post.

how fun and encouraging! I frequently joke that my wife never sends me flowers. She’s far too practical. But I can’t help myself, I love that woman and will keep on doing it. I’m glad you have a supporter in the real world, and not just bloggers like me in the blogiverse. The rest are pretty nice, but by and large I feel just bloody useless when I want to help or encourage someone. You are loved and appreciated and I hope all goes well going forward. Note to self: by flowers for wife and daughter on the way home.

Hooray for your flowers! That’s awesome!
Pacific Northwest? Really? I HATE the Pacific Northwest. It is awful, with the mountains, and trees, and water… Ugh! And the people! They are terrible. I bet you’d hate it!

First of all, this is awesome. The best pick-me-ups are always the unexpected ones. And isn’t it wonderful to know that someone is really paying attention? I just love this. And the flowers are beautiful. And did they come in that square vase? Because that is lovely.

I feel pretty useless at helping people most of the time — I’m never quite sure which words are right in those moments and I never know if contact is even what he/she wants… because sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t. (Sometimes you feel like a nut… sometimes you don’t?)

I’m so glad someone did this for you. 🙂

But… now I’m so fucking curious who you want to “sex up” (“maybe”)… so thanks for that. It will torment me for days. Until something else comes along to torment me… and we both know something will… 😀

Well Stephellaneous. See what happens when you least expect it?
We are all guilty of thinking life is shit then someone goes and fucks it all up by being nice. I must admit, I haven’t really been on the end of a gesture for a while but I do love it when they come and they always make me think life is better.
Now you enjoy the basking in this glow, enjoy the flowers and finally see how far the world can take you when you use the contacts that come before you.
Keep on keeping on Steph. You rock 🙂

Aaaaawwwww! I love a love story with a happy ending. I hope you have a wonderful happy ending when you go to PNW. I believe the wren is bird to be on the look out for… Not too fond of the mountains and trees those birds… Amirite?

Have you spent any amount of time in the PNW? Like, more than a short stint between flights at SEATAC? Because, passive-aggressive-land. I mean, the scenery is nice. And people think “dressed up” means “jeans without holes” so pretty much, you never have to *actually* dress up for anything. Which has its perks. I mean, it’s not BAD, exactly. But… PNW? Really?

I actually do love it up there. Ever since I first saw photos of it in those huge coffee table nature books when I was a kid, I dreamed of moving there.

I haven’t actually spent time in the cities. I passed through Seattle, because the traffic scared the ever loving fuck outta me. Washington would never have been my first choice. My car actually broke down while I was inside somewhere having lunch. When I came back out, the battery was dead. I walked around several blocks before I could find someone who wouldn’t shun me for asking for a boost. It took about an hour to find someone – and she was super awesome, but she even asked me…”I bet you’ve been looking for help for hours around here.” Ha! That soured me on the people there.

I much prefer Oregon, though I love loved the forests and scenery in both states. I figure Seattle is a good starting off point, though, because my job prospects are way way better there for now.

Oregon… Well, Portland is pretty gross. But the coast is amazing. I don’t know what you do for a living, but unless it involves fishing or cheese-making or running a tourist attraction, the coastal towns are probably impractical. My husband and I have enjoyed our jaunts down there. And Mt St Helen National Park is a must. Likewise, Rainier in WA. And Baker. (Skip the butcher and the candlestick maker. 😉 )

Good luck in your move, wherever it takes you. And if you end up in the great northwest, get in touch. I’ll give your car a jump if it misbehaves again (I can only imagine the resistance you experienced; for supposedly liberal idealogists, northwesterners are shockingly callous toward the everyday plights of their fellow {wo}men), and I’m told I make a pretty good tour guide. 🙂

Haha yay! You got it – I’m honestly hoping to make the move this year. And finally get it done. Unfortunately, I think the coastal region of Oregon is impractical for me in the short-term. But it’s definitely a long-term goal. And also unfortunately – because I’m very much NOT a big city kinda girl – pretty sure I’ll be headed to Seattle. At least for a while. Get my bearings, make some money, then maybe mosey over to Oregon in a few years. 🙂

Well, Seattle is more like a grouping of large small towns than an *actual* big city, so there is that. When people tell you where they live, they never say “in Seattle” or even “in the city” or “on the south side” like normal city-dwellers would. Noooope, Seattle-ites are speshuuuul. It’s all, “Oh, I live in the U-district” or “I’m on Queen Anne [hill]” or “in SoDo, yo.” But hey! You like The Nutracker, right? The Pacific Northwest Ballet puts on an a.ma.zing show (newly designed re-costumed by Ian Falconer, of Olivia the Pig children’s book fame), and there are lots of other artsy events throughout the year too. And there are mostly good medical care options available, including naturopathy and various non-Western Medicine options, which is awesome. Also, there are bloggers. 😀 (But some have boobs *and* have sex, so, y’know, trauma. GAH! 😛 )

Oh, and since you like road trips: You can visit the Oregon coast pretty much any time. WIN!