Aussie mum living with chronic pain

Category: Uncategorized

Maybe it’s the fact it is 4.30am and I’ve already been awake for 2 hours thanks to painsomnia. Or maybe it’s because this applies to so many (if not all) industries. Whatever it is, the message in this article is everything!

“…my 8 year old daughter …. She’s growing up in an environment where she’s completely comfortable with power.”

As a woman in my early 20s working as a trainee and then qualified lawyer, I felt completely powerless when it came to negotiating my contract and dealing with my bosses. I remember breaking down in tears when my boss told me the other partners in the firm saw me as greedy for asking for a larger pay rise than I had been offered. The tears weren’t from sadness but from anger and the feeling of powerlessness. I knew for a fact that some of my co-workers were being paid far above the measly amount I was asking for, yet here I was being made to feel like an ungrateful child when all I really wanted was recognition. (And now I was crying in front of my boss! Ahhh!)

I would watch in awe at the way one of my girlfriends interacted with our bosses. At the time I honestly thought the difference between us was that I feared loosing my job (with both its financial and professional ramifications) while she did not have such fears.

I now know that the real difference was my girlfriend knew her worth. Not just professionally and personally.

The feeling of being powerless, of standing at the poker table without any cards to play is a theme constantly being talked about in chronic illness communities. Often, those of us with a chronic condition already feel on the back foot, like because accomodations are already being made (or do not need to be made for others) we cannot ask for more.

It’s so important to teach our children to know their worth and to know that it is perfectly acceptable AND BLOODY ENCOURAGED to walk away from anyone who attempts to short change them – not just financially, but emotionally, physically, spiritually….

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Since Thursday’s announcement that the same-sex marriage postal survey is going ahead, I have been unable to think of much else.

Why is equality something that needs to be debated?

Why is equality something that needs to be fought for?

Still.

In 2017.

Going to school in the 90s, I remember being told time and time again that we live in ‘The Lucky Country’. But lucky for who?

Lucky for the white, Christian males who were lucky enough to be born into families of wealth. Lucky enough to go to the ‘right school’, to be a part of the ‘old boys club’, to know the ‘right people’ who can appoint them to the ‘right jobs’.

Those lucky enough not to need public schooling – and are therefore unconcerned when more government funding is taken from those it can help the most.

Those lucky enough not to need public health care – and are therefore unaffected when more and more pressure is put on our hospitals.

Those lucky enough to be born attracted to the opposite sex – and are therefore free to marry whoever they choose and can ignore the voice of inequality.

Those lucky enough not to need to fight for equality.

We can talk about how unnecessary this plebiscite is until the cows come home. (Unnecessary because our politicians can easily listen to the majority and change the law. Otherwise known as Doing Their Damn Job.) But it is not unnecessary if we, the majority, finally have our voice heard. If we tell those who are supposed to represent and work for us that we will not stand for inequality anymore. We will not let another day go by where Australian citizens are told they are Other and do not deserve the same rights as the rest of the community.

It is ridiculous that this plebiscite is needed. But it is going ahead, so now we must stand up and be heard. Don’t let your voice be ignored. To find out how you can make a difference, visit the Equality Campaign website.

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Starting tomorrow, 4 September, myself and 3 friends will be taking part in Steptember – walking 10,000 steps a day for 28 days to raise much needed funds for children living with cerebral palsy.

I’ve been tracking my steps since I was hospitalised for physical rehab in February 2014 and am currently averaging between 4,900 and 6,500 steps a day (with the odd 8,000 thrown in). With those numbers, 10,000 steps may seem a little out of reach. But, if I look back to my hospital admission, it was taking me 8 minutes to walk 88 metres, on crutches. Back then walking down the street was an impossible task. I’ve now ditched the crutches and average 30 minutes, 5 mornings a week, walking 1 kilometre every 8 to 9 minutes.

I also started yoga 2 years ago (a year after my hospital stay) and, back then, I truly believed that 1 class a week was my maximum. However , for the past few months I have been averaging 2 to 3 body balance classes each week (a mix of tai chi, yoga, and Pilates). Yet again, something I never thought my body could manage.

So now it’s time to ramp up the stepping! What better reason than to raise money for those with cerebral palsy, the most common physical disability in childhood. (Also, the Steptember website tells me that yoga equates to about 4,060 steps. A little secret my Fitbit was keeping from me!)

If you would like more information on cerebral palsy you can visit the Cerebal Palsy Alliance website here.

If you would like to support me and make a donation you can visit my fundraising page.

Wish me luck!

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She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear. She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely,
without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a
book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures.
She just let go.
She let go of all of the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go.
She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.
She just let go.
She didn’t analyse whether she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line.
She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened.
There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her.
No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.
It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face.
A light breeze blew through her.
And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.