I wanted to post about some misconceptions that I previously had about the options available in the adoption process. I don't know how common my specific misconceptions are, but I suspect that I'm not the only person who held a skewed perspective. I just want to put this post out there for anyone who may ever be in a position where they can influence the decision that someone might make when faced with an unplanned pregnancy.

I found out a few months ago that I'm pregnant--surprise for me!!! I initially considered abortion, but my boyfriend and I have since decided to keep the baby and have both grown really excited about starting a family. Before we made this decision, I spent a good amount of time researching my "options," and was surprised to by what I learned about adoption. I was under the impression that the process of giving a child up for adoption was primarily a legal interaction between the birth mother and the state. I guess I thought that a mother simply signed custody of their child over to an adoption agency, and simply hoped that their child would not go too long (or perhaps forever) without a family. Perhaps a bit like foster care? I understand that for many pro-life advocates this still seems like an improvement over abortion, but please recognize that from the perspective of someone who is pro-choice, the uncertainty that's associated with this arrangement does not exactly provide confidence that adoption leads to a happier ending for anyone involved.

What I discovered was that mothers who are considering adoption can actively participate in selecting a family to raise their child. I found websites that post profiles of families who are interested in adopting a child--and these agencies literally allow you to "browse" for a family to take custody of your child. You can get in touch with the families through these websites, get to know them, and let the agency know when you feel you've found a good "match." The family that you select is responsible for all of the costs of your prenatal care, and if you want they can come support you at OB appointments. It allows you to discuss issues like open-vs-closed adoption directly with the family that will be involved.

Even if this isn't news for anyone but me, I highly suggest providing links like those I posted to anyone who may be considering abortion. Actually seeing the faces of these families and reading their stories completely eliminated abortion as an option for me, and I was honestly excited about the idea of giving one of these families the opportunity to raise my child.

Anyway, I hope this post doesn't provoke angry responses. My intent is only to suggest that providing more detailed information about adoption options may lead more mothers to choose this route instead of abortion. Unless there's already a hub-like thread with information about resources for pregnant women, perhaps you guys could add links about other resources in your responses? There are so many!

Best,

E

"If you are ashamed to stand by your colors, you had better seek another flag."

Um, I'm not really able to contribute much to this discussion, but I wonder if anyone here has ever watched the movie "Juno". The story is basically that the protagonist, a girl named Juno, gets pregnant and decides to put her yet-to-be-born baby up for adoption by a method somewhat similar (though not quite identical) to what Eureka described above, where Juno personally picks the couple to adopt her yet-to-be-born baby. (There's more to the story than that, but that's basically the gist of the main plot.)

If anyone's watched the movie, s/he would know what I'm talking about.

A bit of a warning, though: A scene in the beginning is what kickstarts the plot (I.E. how she got pregnant. It's a PG-13 film.)

(Also worth noting: the writer behind the film, Diablo Cody, is pro-choice, though the film itself seems subtly pro-life in the scenario presented, and in such a way that won't seem hamfisted or forceful. However, both the main star of the film and the writer deny that the film itself is a pro-life movie. U>_<)