April 9, 2018: The Pitch!

There inevitably comes a moment, at the end of every phone pitch, when, after concluding my spiel, I am met with complete and utter silence. It can last anywhere from approximately one to five seconds but, in those one to five seconds, my mind always drifts to the distinct and horrific possibility that the call dropped five minutes into the pitch and I have just been talking to myself for the past half an hour. I mean, in a perfect world, pitches are, if not interactive, then at the very least provocative, spurring the person on the other end of the line to ooh, aaah, un-hunh and, hopefully, laugh at the right moments. Devoid of these conversational prompts, it really feels like you’re talking to yourself which, in turn, causes you to entertain the notion that the people you are engaging may have simply muted the call, taken a stroll down to Starbucks, ordered a grande Americano and an apple fritter, and returned in time for the big finish.

Fortunately, in this case, the individual we were pitching asked all the right follow-up questions related to tone, theme, story and character arcs which seemed to bode well, indicating that he was interested enough to have at least followed the sum entirety of my verbal dish.

So what does this mean?

No idea.

But how do I think it went?

Haven’t a clue.

It’s a fantastic project looking to land at the perfect home where it should be shepherded by a very smart, seasoned exec with a respect for the genre. So there’s that.

While I didn’t get the hoped for “How soon can you start?!”, I also didn’t get the dreaded “Please remove my number from your phone list.”.

Look, there’s no single right way to pitch. On the other hand, there are seemingly endless wrong ways to proceed, too innumerable to get into. From a purely creative and structural approach, I think the pitch went well. Lots of great jumps scares. Lots of great character moments. Lots of instances of dark humor. A fairly detailed game plan for the first episode and the season as a whole. A solid blueprint for each of the main character arcs covering multiple narrative progressions. Hints of twists, turns, shocks and surprises. A suggestion of the emotional heart at the core of the series.

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It sounds intriguing! But one thing I’ve learned about this industry over the years from this blog, there’s a whole lot of “hurry up and wait.”

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9 Apr 2018 8:48 pm

sylvia

and we wait….
Your description sounds at least promising as compared to the “remove my number” possibility.
Crossing all the crossable parts including eyes.
and we wait…but we are very experienced in this.
We can distract ourselves with binge watching Dark Matter.
and joining the whiskey club…hmmmm yum.

The pitch sounds terrifying. So much work and heart and investment thrown into a veritable Schrodinger’s box of doubt. Kudos to you.

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9 Apr 2018 9:03 pm

Jojo

Waiting. Patiently. Waiting. Are we there yet? Waiting. ready to hear something. Waiting. While I wait i will take a nap. Wake me when it is time to hear something. Waiting.

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9 Apr 2018 10:06 pm

Ponytail

Joe, it sounds awesome. But you had me wondering… What if you got an actor like James Earl Jones to read your pitch for you? He has such a fantastic voice and could emphasize certain areas for better dramatics. Ever thought of that?

Good luck. (And if it doesn’t go well….take comfort in these ancient words by the great blue one: C stands for cookie, that’s good enough for me. C stands for cookie, that’s good enough for me. Cookie, cookie, cookie, starts with C !)

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10 Apr 2018 10:53 am

Tammy Dixon

I know you’re anxious to get the green light but while you’re waiting you can work on the move. Also, what’s the first movie Cookie is going to review?

The cookies turned out great! You were so right about the white chocolate chips. They paired well with the bourbon. I packed some up for Jeff/Barb to take for the road.

The Jeff/Barb visit was so fun! We talked for 2-3 hours. I thank both of them for taking time out their trip. Next time you think your schedule is crazy, talk to JeffW. Wowza, they stay busy!

I had a surprisingly wait free visit to the DMV, I was greeted by wailing babies, tired coughs and steady stream of people taking up seats to the right. Luckily I’d prepaid my license online so I was shooed to the nearly empty photo area to the left. Yes, the crabby clerk did yell at me twice (No!! Sign by the X, THE X!) but I got out so fast I was able to grab berries at the market.

I imagine too it depends on whose ears your pitching to. I would hate phone pitches. You can see body language, eye rolls, shifting, etc. that would be an automatic red flag. I don’t do phone calls well. My auditory processing problems (not on phone calls with like my sister, but more like an important call from the school or the school district) really make it difficult for me. Eventually I have my hand in my crossed arms on the table struggling to try to comprehend what is trying to be said, or the dreaded voice delay where you start talking on top of each other.