Ghostwriter, lover of the arts, and wannabe world traveler.

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Tag Archives: Life

Letting go of control, righteousness, judgement, and imposing my values on someone else. Sometimes you need to let people clean up there own messes, and if they choose not to, you don’t have to sit in there icky, dirty, shit with them. And don’t think I don’t SEE when you try to sweep shit under the rug either!

Now I should probably go clean my room. What else is SPRING for, of not to spring forward?

Its that time of year again…ratting around the city looking for new adventure, opportunities, and experiences galore! I found myself the other day stumbling through a warehouse of anything you can name and came across a powder blue nighty that reminded me of my first night with Jerome. Ugh…just when I thought I’ve medicated myself through all those past memories. I’ve been clear-minded on a path of renewing myself daily and seeking higher meaning to my life.

I’m ready to take my life and career to the next level possibly being part of something that is actually meaningful and has power to change the world. I’m tired of the same ol’ stories about love, sex, abuse, gayism, heroism, blah blah blah…what about something that is the only truth to the universe??

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of instant gratification, satisfaction and perpetual venture to look for the next big. What about something that’ll gratify you forever and ever?? I may have found it. . . but it is still a sliver of a seed yet to grow. I think we may all be looking for that big purpose. And trust me, even relationships will last for a while and satisfy you at the moment, but very few will last a lifetime. I’m done.

When I was in my twenties, I thought that in my thirties I would have all the answers. That I would have figured it out by now.

Now that I’m here I have to laugh. Have I figured out anything except that I haven’t figured it out yet? Does that even count?

Heh. Maybe that I analyze so much is what’s holding me back. How do you stop analyzing? Certainly not by writing about it. Maybe I should stop doing this! Maybe I should take up watching sports?

Or what if the point is that we never figure it out, that we’re always just pushing forward. Sometimes the current is with you; sometimes you go upstream. All I know is I’m over 30. Come on . . . something!

I know, I know…. It’s just a number. But still! When am I going to feel like I’ve grown up and gotten it all together? Where’s the nice little bow to wrap around my life?

I hear they were having a discount on bows at Target. I should probably just go pick some up to stick around my apartment, after all, it’s the holidays. . . no one would think it strange.