Courageous Mama for Cesarean Awareness 2016

Last year, on April 12, 2015 my husband and I lost our first daughter to stillbirth, just 9 days before she was due. I hadn’t felt her move that day and got out our home heart monitor and couldn’t find the heartbeat. When my husband woke up that afternoon to leave for work he found a beat and was convinced it was her, but I had my doubts.

I called my friend and she picked me up and drove me to the hospital where we met her mom. I thank God for those two. They were there, holding my hand when I got the news that our baby no longer had a heartbeat. “I’m sorry,” the worst thing I have ever heard…

We tried for about a half hour to get a hold of my husband to let him know to come right away. My mom and mother-in-law made plans to drive out (we were living in Colorado and all our family was in California). I waited to be induced until my husband got to the hospital.

The next day, with my mom, mother-in-law, friend and her mom, my husband and I welcomed our baby girl to the world while also saying good bye. She was exactly everything i wanted her to be, everything i always imagined her to be…and she was gone. Although it was the worst day of my life, holding our precious angel made it all worth it. Our nurses were amazing as well, providing casts of her hand and foot prints and treating her as though she was a living baby. They never once used the words “dead” or “stillbirth”.

Two months later I found out I was pregnant again. Then a couple months later we moved back to California. This pregnancy was filled to the brim with stress. Stress from moving, trying to buy a new home, the Butte fire hit our county, and the stress and anxiety of PAL. I found an amazing doctor who treated me as though I was a high risk pregnancy – even though I wasn’t. (Nothing was found to be wrong with our first daughter, Claira, or me.)

By the end of my pregnancy my blood pressure had spiked to just below preeclampsia status due to stress. I was glad my doctor suggested I be induced a week early. My induction seemed to be going well until about the 8th hour. Addison’s heart-rate started to drop with contractions and then started dropping randomly.

Our amazing nurse called our doctor several times, giving him updates and letting him know our stress level was climbing. He came in and told us he would normally let me labor a while longer but would check me and see where baby was. Addison hadn’t descended at all and was looking up. Along with that, he said he had never been able to feel a patient’s sacrum before and mine was protruding drastically along with my hip bone points, making a very narrow opening for her to have to fit through. He didn’t think she would be able to maneuver into the birth canal and suggested a C-section.

A few minutes later my husband and I were making our way to the operating room. When Addison was born the cord was around her neck which accounted for her dropping heart rate, our doctor had made the right call with the c-section.

I am so thankful for our Dr and the amazing nurse we had. Another horrible delivery made better with a great hospital team.And now we have the adventure of raising our beautiful rainbow baby. She celebrated her one month on the 6th, and on the 12th we celebrated her big sisters one year birthday. It was a difficult week filled with conflicting emotions, but we made it. We released balloons in Claira’s honor while holding and cuddling her little sister.

Thank you for the opportunity to share our story!

You are a courageous mama for being an advocate for you and your baby. We are so glad that you found such an amazing doctor to aid you during your pregnancy after loss journey. Thank you for sharing your story with us!

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