'In the wilderness of creativity, you find yourself'

Tag Archives: beauty

It has been a long, long time since I posted here. This time of abnegation was not easy for me too but yesterday, in a moment of ‘self-forgetfulness’, I came up with this drawing and the message above entails the gyst of the story of my writer’s block. Once I discover I’m good at something or that people benefit from what I do, I start to lose the ‘involunary’ element of the act. It becomes a part of a sickening routine. The sublime aspect of writing is the sincerity of emotion and in this torpor, writing/blogging is a sin.

So…solution? First, I needed to clear my mind by leaving all problems to God. Then, I put myself in the present and notice what things make my heart excited about life. I needed to get the blog out of the comma so I started to explore myself this way. For instance, if I watched TV, I watched myself from outside to know what are the things that make my heart jump.

My work is only meaningful if it is connected to society in any way. Anything outside this set, holds no value for me. Doing things for the sole purpose of entertainment (like playing games online) just drains away spirit.

When nothing beautiful comes to mind, I try to remember my dreams. Those are my strongest sources of knowing what my soul is like. One’s carnal self dies but the soul is eternal. Somehow, that invisible world seems more real, just like Plato proposed. I wish to be a Physicist and yet, this realm, although ‘unreal’ seems more interesting.

I keep a folder in my cell phone. Everyday, I delete some photos and add some. These photos are all the wonderful photographs and quotes that I see on tumblr, facebook, flickr and other social networks and they spark up my eyes;as I scroll down pages, my pupils dialate and I stop…my heart says:”I want you to be that”. Sometimes, they are just pictures of things, books, tables, well furnished rooms that I can’t even BE but what my heart is actually trying to convey is that I need to capture and enliven the spirit that the photographer tried to capture. I capture these ghosts and then DREAM, WISH AND DO!

”Some people look for a beautiful place, others make a place beautiful.” -Hazrat InayatKhan.

I’ve been extremely depressed. I added a negativity-loaded post that I later deleted because honestly, I was ashamed to have lost faith. This quote really marked the end of the dark tunnel I have been ensnared in for the last two days. While going through the ‘Blogs I fillow’, I saw this quote and also, a picture of an artist in her work place with all her paintings around her and more importantly, a content smile on her face. It doesn’t matter what college I get in. Infact, I did get in. I did not have the financial resources. I still have a goal and I’m the one who has to make life beautiful for myself and my fellow human beings. The fancy college is the beautiful place in my mind, I shouldn’t be looking for it….I should be creating a beautiful place. My work defines me and if God Wills, I will do something for my country with all the resources available. To make my life beautiful, I must wake up with the picture of that artist in my mind and hope for the day to be a joyride.