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So sad to be home

I’m really sad to be home. I’m mostly sad because I don’t feel connected with anybody in my house. I really feel like I can’t talk to my parents about the good things that happened during the week. I also feel like they don’t really value talking to me. I just feel like I can be honest or happy around them. I feel like they are going to get mad at me about something. I feel like my step mom doesn’t have a clear position on who does the dishes and when. It’s bothering me that I don’t feel like I can talk to her honestly about what her position is. I feel like she will be condescending to me. I think I should talk to her. But I know that she will get defensive and make me feel like I’m stupid. She undermines my confidence.

Maybe I just feel depressed because I ate too much salt. Who knows. I feel sad that I feel like they are so distant from me. They don’t ask me how I’m doing and I don’t think they would like it if I asked them how they are doing. I don’t know what to do.

They feel like they’re so far superior to me that I can’t get through and connect with them. I feel very much so that they see themselves superior because they are a generation older than I am. Maybe I’m just imagining things. I don’t want to get bitter. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning. Maybe I’m just tired. k