Today, Brigitte and I picked up a kaleidoscope at some small shop in Seal Beach. At first, the kaleidoscope brought me back to a well loved childhood moment, but my singular memory was pushed aside by a variety of other inspired thoughts flooding my mind. My dot paintings are about science, math, spirituality, religious stained glass windows, illusion, the spirituality of science and the science of spirituality. I am not a scientist or mathematician, but I am drawn to the world of theoretical science and math. I geek out when reading about topics like dark matter, multiverses, quantum physics, shit going super nova, and the known unknown beyond our planet & ourselves.

The yogis say that even if you get 5 seconds of a quiet mind while mediating you've experienced utopia. They also believe that within those moments of still mind, you know and are connected to everything. I am on that quest. Not to be the smartest person in the room, but be connected to everything in the known & unknown universe.

I am beginning a series of kaleidoscope photographs shot on my phone's camera. I plan for these photos to take over my instagram feed with some new paintings peppered in from time to time. I hope you will enjoy embarking on this adventure with me. #jdkaleidoscopeproject

Like most people, I will always remember where I was on September 11, 2001. And like most people, the entire day was utterly surreal.

I had graduated from college and was working at Shake The Tree Gallery, a little gift shop in Brookline Village. I had just opened the shop after riding my bike from my apartment in Allston. I turned on the shop's light, some music, listened to the answering machine's messages, and did other opening duties. The owner of the shop was on vacation with her family in the Berkshires and she had entrusted the shop to me.

@10am the little Brookline Village shop was open. @10:45 my first customer...was a zombie. As she walked through expressionless, I let her know if there was anything I could help with I would be happy to do so. She just looked at me, said nothing and left. @10:50 my second customer walked in. Same thing. @11 am the phone rings and it was the owner's mother hysterically asking where her daughter was, "The towers! The towers! We are under attack. New York is under attack! Get out of Boston". Then she hung up.

For the next couple of hours customers came in blankly looked at trinkets & home accessories then left. Everything felt still.

The shop's phone rang again, it was my mom. "Are you ok? I can't get in touch with your brother." He lived in Chelsea at the time. She was worried. I was confused, "What's going on? People are acting strange." That's when she told me. We ended the phone call with "please try getting in touch with your brother. I love you."

I didn't have access to the internet or a reliable radio, so I kept the shop open until closing time. When I got home all my roommates were sitting on the sofa watching the footage of the collapsing towers. It didn't seem real.

My family got in touch with my brother and my mom's cousin who had worked in the Twin Towers for over two decades 2 days later. They were both traumatized in different ways. One watched both towers fall from his rooftop and the other barely escaped tower 2. Still my emotions felt surreal.

March 2002, I went down to visit my brother in the city. My train arrived into Penn Station. When the train stopped, I grabbed my bag, breezed off the train and thorough the station's lobby. Once I got to the steps leading up to the street I froze, realizing the wall which I had just passed. Pictures of the missing. Hundreds of pictures. My heart dropped to my stomach. I took a deep breathe and went up the stairs.

I met up with my brother, we went out to dinner never discussing 9/11 until we walked back to his apartment. "Do you want to see the lights?" he asked. "Sure" I responded. We went up to his rooftop. Where the towers used to stand now were two columns of lights shining up into the heavens. My brother put arm around my shoulders and we embraced.

I am so happy to announce that Marijuana Movie Night has a new chapter called Munchies Happen. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Marijuana Movie Night (a.k.a MMN or MMNight), let me catch you up to what's what.

Roughly 7 years ago, my partner in crime, Primo Duke, started the Marijuana Movie Night blog primarily to keep his writing chops sharp and feed his love for film, writing about the most recently released to the very forgotten. We also started hosting small events in our living room, eventfully moving to a friend's backyard for projector viewing. It was a good time, with lots of laughs and solid cinematic conversations. I personally am not a big movie buff, but these events were fun so I was down for that. The environment itself was open for weed smokers and not, so whoever wanted to hang could without exception, and enjoy the company & films.

As Marijuana Movie Night has developed over the years, it has also taken shape. Starting the blog on Bloggerwas a good beginning, but after a few conversation with potential investors, both Primo and I thought it would be best to upgrade the site platform to a more scalable one. So Marijuana Movie Night underwent a redesign and relaunched on 4/20 of this year. Since that time, it's been well received by many.

Fast forward to this Father's Day weekend...I'm welcoming Munchies Happen into the Marijuana Movie Night family. The inception of Munchies Happen came to Primo and I about 4 years ago. We wanted to cover at home dishes made from scratch, local Los Angeles eats, travel eats and guest writers from all over the globe. The pairing of weed & film is one idea, but adding food to the mix seemed very natural. We initially thought we would create a whole new website, but that quickly felt like we'd be spreading ourselves too thin. So we shelved the idea...

Now that Marijuana Movie Night has a new home at Squarespace, the addition of Munchies Happen makes sense. It's already a fun site to browse through and read posts, but you have more. You're welcome!

By the way, all the photography on Munchies Happen will be by yours truly unless otherwise noted.

I'm not a huge Picasso fan. He just doesn't do it for me. However, I do respect his place in the art world and recreating a global conversation around perspective. Plus, who doesn't appreciate his famous quote, "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once (they've grown) up."

To me, this quotes represents trust or the lack there of. If you remove stress from a child's life, you will find that the child has an unbound amount of trust in the present moment. There is no past and there is no future. The concept of time is abstract. The problem isn't remaining an artist. It's allowing the past memories not to interfere with the present.

Just letting go. This is perhaps the most difficult concept for many, including myself, to comprehend. Even the most self-proclaimed, enlightened individuals have a difficult time letting go of some hangups. And if you meet someone who claims zero worries, be wary. They are not being truthful.

My 3 year old daughter, Brigitte and I have collaborated on a few pieces together. Whenever we do, I am faced with a certain amount of resistance from myself while she is no holds barred. With every new project, I am confronted with a litany of control issues. I think about the mess, cleaning up the mess, the cost of my markers, don't draw on this, don't draw on that... And that's when I am reminded, I am not as relaxed and easy going as I'd like to daydream I am.

These anxieties take me away from those pure creative moments. And at that moment, I recognize I am no longer with her, but off battling these emotions of anxiety. I cringe just thinking about my control issues now. But I do recognize that the now is the only thing that is real. It is the only thing that matters and in 5 minutes from now, everything will be ok. We will all be ok.

All images on this site are taken by Jocelyn Duke (that's me) unless otherwise noted.

I'm willing to share them for any non-commercial purposes, however please link back to the original post, crediting me and/or my site. Please drop me a line too so I know where else the images will be living on the internet. Thank you.