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Y’all may have noticed that Diana’s been away from the blog for some time now. She’s been super busy doing all kinds of cool things, like starting her own company, being an auntie, and making artisanal soups (I shit you not). I don’t even get to see her as much as I’d like to these days, which makes me sad, so you can imagine how stoked I was when we got together this past criminally-hot weekend, to just soak in some rays. Soak in some rays Asian-style, that is:

I don’t what it is about Adele’s voice, but it bugs. I can’t stand it. It’s so overwrought and what’s the word? Singerly. I know, I know, that’s not even a word. I just don’t want to hear it. Shut up shut up shut up, Adele. Fast forward to the next song before hives break out on my leg.

That said, it’s kind of crazy to hear a simulacrum of Adele’s voice come out of 19 year-old Zheng Hong, a contestant on the Chinese version of “The Voice.”

Things I love about this video?

That big, confident voice coming out of a seemingly quiet, unassuming girl.

Journalist (and undocumented immigrant from the Philippines) José Antonio Vargas poses on the cover of TIME this week and pens the much-discussed story behind it, “We Are Americans, Just Not Legally,” about the plight of the U.S.’s 12 million undocumented immigrants. [TIME]

Barack Obama: The Story traces “the young Obama’s arc toward black identity.” The book, which will be published on June 19, is excerpted in the Washington Post. [Washington Post]

New America Media finds that “media depictions of Asian-Americans lack important depth,” and got a few quotes from DISGRASIAN™ editor/founder Jen on the myth of the model minority and how it’s still used in the mainstream. [New America Media]

To be a female taikonaut in China, you’d better have perfect skin, teeth, and be odor-free. Even at the expense of having much less training than their male counterparts. Thanks, China, but if I need a ride to space, I’ll wait until Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic is ready to go. [The Globe and Mail]

A creationist group in South Korea lobbied the government to have the theory of evolution removed from high school textbooks, and guess what? They actually won. [Huffington Post]

Listen in: San Francisco public radio station KALW has begun a series focusing on Asian American mental health. [KALW]

Blogger and friend Jim “Busy Dad” Lin reflects on the recent passing of “Goodfella” Henry Hill and the life lessons of the movie that immortalized him. [MamaPop]

The folks who made Shanghai Calling, which stars my fantasy celebrity boyfriend Daniel Henney, are asking for videos about your best story from living or traveling overseas. The prize? Oh nothing, just a little trip for two to see the movie at an upcoming film festival. [Angry Asian Man]

Our pals at You Offend Me, You Offend My Family, just launched their new YouTube networkYOMYOMF. We are especially digging the trailer for their high school girl webseries “BFFs.” [YOMYOMF]

We know summer’s only just begun, but can it be fall already so we can already start watching (and loving) Mindy Kaling’s Fox comedy “The Mindy Project,” which is already being touted as one of fall’s “most exciting” new series-es? [Reuters]

One year I vacationed in Mexico and spent the entire time in the water, body surfing and boogie boarding. My skin got really dark, which I don’t care about one way or another, though I am afraid of sun damage and skin cancer, in that order. I made one mistake that trip though, and it wasn’t forgetting sunscreen (always, always remember sunscreen). My mistake was going to see my grandmother right after. The first thing she said, once she got over the shock, was “How did you get so dark?!” For the rest of the visit, she introduced me to her friends as “My Granddaughter-Who’s-Normally-Not-This-Dark.”

Light skin is still prized in Asia for a number of reasons that have to do with longstanding notions of race, class, and gender. Good thing then, that there’s a booming market for skin whitening creams, many of them manufactured by Western companies! And good thing the companies who make these creams also make commercials, because quite a few of them–beyond their creepy, disturbing premise–are kinda hilarious.

1. Skin Whitening For Young Girls

There’s this commercial for SkinWhite Teens, produced by Filipino company Splash Corporation, a skin whitening product designed specifically for young girls:

Soooo much happened during the Super Bowl. And, no, I don’t mean with the football. That was a lot of low-scoring farting around, too many lame field goals, a last-second Hail Mary not-so-full-of-grace, and supermodel Gisele Bundchen being delightfully, pettily un-super while cameras captured the whole thing. The game itself kinda felt like a bad drunken hook-up with a dude you’re not that attracted to that just won’t end. (Not that I know anything about that. Ahem.)

What I’m really talking about of course is this crazy racist campaign ad that aired in Michigan during the game for U.S. Senate hopeful Pete Hoekstra (R), directed by the same guy who got Christine O’Donnell to publicly confess, “I’m not a witch”:

The ad for Hoekstra–a hot mess of Vietnamese mise-en-scène standing in for China, California Girl-speak poorly disguised as bad Engrish, and some requisite chinky background music–managed to piss off Dems and Republicans alike with its creepy, unabashed Fear of a Yellow Planet storyline. (Though everyone’s favorite race-contrarian Michelle Malkin didn’t seem to mind it. But this is the same person who defended the internment, so, you know.)

Was Chinese TV show Super Girl cancelled because the singing competition (think American Idol) was too vulgar, or because it allowed viewers to vote (how democratic!) for their favorite contestants? [Jezebel]

No iPhone for the ROK! It looks like Samsung is planning to block the release of the iPhone 5 in South Korea. [ars technica]

Modern Family‘s new Lily is cute. We still miss old Lily (even if she always looked like she was about to fall asleep). [Aol TV]

We find it hard to argue with a deity that insists upon the consumption of Chinese food on Christmas (or any holiday really). [reddit]

As many of you know, I was a cheerleader in high school, and naturally have a soft spot for all things cheerleading. It’s dance, performance and sport in one package, guys. Can’t hate!

But I’ve always been pretty meh when it comes to male cheerleaders. No, I don’t think they’re weenies–quite the opposite. I fully appreciate how instrumental they are in taking cheer stunting and performance to the next level–their strength and athleticism as bases and tumblers totally change the whole game.

But that’s also my issue with cheer dudes. Typically male cheerleaders are extra tough and robot-stiff on the dance floor/field/court/stage… perhaps to prove that, although they do hold megaphones and point a perky “number one” in the air, they’re still swinging big dicks or whatever. They never use pom poms, which are quite possibly my FAVORITE thing cheer has to offer (I challenge you to think of anything happier than a silvery, sassy pom pom!). They wear completely different outfits from their female counterparts, usually primary-hued polyester pants (which is respectable and kind of unavoidable but also violates the uniformity of a squad’s overall look, a result that irks me on an endemic level. I mean, cheer pants?! Whatever!) that suck.

Male cheerleaders can make the argument that they are cheerleaders solely to put their strength and athleticism to work, while getting to shove their hands into the shadowy crevices of the world’s most perfect thighs. But few are on cheer squads to dance and cheer for cheer‘s sake. Not all, but most. And by golly, if somebody’s leading me to cheer, I want it to be for CHEER’S SAKE!

Renowned satirical artist and Chinese dissident Ai Weiwei, who disappeared in early April and has been detained under shaky allusions to “economic crimes” by the Chinese government for over two months, has finally been released. After admitting to tax evasian, promising to pay fines, and showing a good attitude in detainment, the outspoken trailblazer is FREE AT LAST.

Free to move freely around Beijing, that is, as long as he notifies authorities every time he leaves the house.

Free, despite the fact that he can’t give interviews, make a peep on social media outlets (with 90k followers, Twitter was a major tool for Ai, who tweeted about disappearing activists, human rights violations, etc. prior to his detainment), or step outside of the city without permission. Though he cheerfully emerged to say hello to reporters and the International community this week, Ai has made it clear that he cannot speak publicly about his investigation or life situation, for “at least a year,” intimating a gag order that authorities won’t confirm.

An activist without a voice? That’s a prison unto itself. Let’s not pretend Ai Weiwei is free when he isn’t.

It’s the face of a 28 year-old Han Chinese man–a composite made from 190,000 photos–based on the fact that 28 is the median age of the world’s population, Han Chinese is the largest ethnic group globally, and men outnumber women. Currently, there are 9 million 28 year-old Han Chinese men in the world.

This may sound suspiciously like a sorta scientific way of saying all Asians look alike, but there’s an upshot!

If you look even a little bit like the dude in the photo, now would be a great time for a career change.

Guys, seriously, Groupon did a good thing, okay? Because after they aired that Super Bowl ad about Tibetans-being-oppressed-but-who-gives-a-shit-when-we-can-save-money (above), we’re actually talking about Tibet today. And when’s the last time anyone talked about Tibet? At a Bjork concert in 2008? Groupon’s made Tibet hip to talk about again! I mean, sure, talk is cheap, but so are things you buy with Groupons!

So Buzzfeed tells me that a popular hazing ritual at Chinese Universities–at least according to one Boston student studying abroad–is called Cornering.

Basically, it means that in order to bond with his new college homies, a dude needs to spread his legs, get lifted in the air, and have his special parts rammed against building corners and furniture. Sometimes it’s rough and tough, sometimes it’s warm and fuzzy like in the video below (submitted by the above-mentioned student)–but no matter what it always, always, always includes slamming junk into hard stuff for giggles:

Instead, an empty chair sat on the Oslo stage between the Nobel Committee members, marking the first time a recipient was not physically present to accept the award. And as panel chief Thorbjoern Jagland placed the Nobel diploma on the chair, it was clear Liu’s presence was felt by the 1,000-person audience, who delivered a standing ovation.

The honoree’s final public statement, issued days before his imprisonment and read aloud at the Nobel ceremony by actress Liv Ullmann, included a message (translated here) for his beloved:

If I may be permitted to say so, the most fortunate experience of these past twenty years has been the selfless love I have received from my wife, Liu Xia. She could not be present as an observer in court today, but I still want to say to you, my dear, that I firmly believe your love for me will remain the same as it has always been. Throughout all these years that I have lived without freedom, our love was full of bitterness imposed by outside circumstances, but as I savor its aftertaste, it remains boundless. I am serving my sentence in a tangible prison, while you wait in the intangible prison of the heart. Your love is the sunlight that leaps over high walls and penetrates the iron bars of my prison window, stroking every inch of my skin, warming every cell of my body, allowing me to always keep peace, openness, and brightness in my heart, and filling every minute of my time in prison with meaning. My love for you, on the other hand, is so full of remorse and regret that it Continue reading AMAZIAN OF THE WEEK! Liu Xiaobo’s Empty Chair