Awareness, Consciousness and Spirituality Blog

The Phase of Release

Everything is essentially “energy” and hence follows all the laws pertaining to energy. One of the truths about energy is that – “energy can neither be created or destroyed, it can only change forms”. We create an imbalance of emotional energy by inhabiting the state of imbalanced thinking and its accumulation, in turn, leads to the fueling of more imbalanced thinking, thus creating a cycle of perpetuation. All this imbalanced energy, that gets created, does get stored up in many ways, it cannot simply get destroyed, and the only way to dissolve the imbalanced energy is to convert it back into balanced energy. Once you become aware of your state of imbalance, and thus start looking for a way to move towards a balanced life, the most critical step for you would be to first convert all the imbalanced energy back to balance before you can really start living from the place of balance – this phase of “conversion” is what I call the phase of release, and the phase where you start living from the place of balance is what I call the phase of return of focus. The phase of release is actually all about converting the past-accumulated imbalanced energy to balanced energy, and it’s an active process in that it requires your involvement in consciously allowing this transmutation to take place.

The “imbalanced energy” is stored up not only in your physical body but also in your non-physical body (other words I would use for the same are your ethereal body, soul, cosmic body or your “being” aspect). The physical body is created from the energy of your parents who contain the energy of your ancestors, in other words it’s a creation that stems from the energy of your “Gene pool” – thus, the imbalanced energy created by the ancestors is passed along to the offspring. This is why a physical body can be born with imbalanced energy from the onset and then imbue more of the same through the cycle of perpetuation. When your being inhabits a body, or becomes focused on a body, you have to contend with the imbalances that may be present in this physical body. And, if you have imbalances in you, as a being, you are simply going to add to this cycle of imbalance when your negativity gets identified with the negativity already present in the physical body. You may also inhabit a body which is relatively free of imbalances and may bring in imbalances into it from the imbalanced energy you may be carrying as a being. A being who has attained conscious balance retains the knowledge of this balance and such a being can inhabit a physical body, that has a lot of imbalances, and bring a balance to it. Attaining, and expressing, “conscious balance” is an art, or a learning, or a skill, or an ability, that once learnt becomes embedded in your being and thus allows you to bring balance into any imbalance that you may touch.

The chief understanding that’s required to bring conscious balance is that of the “state of allowing“, which is the only way to instigate a conscious release and thus instigate an opening for transmutation of imbalance into balance. Once you gain this understanding, about what the state of allowing entails, you will need to exercise this understating towards transmuting all the imbalanced energy that you may have created (or inherited), which is what the phase of release is. Once you are done with the phase of release, you are done with all the past accumulation and you also have the understanding/awareness to no longer create any new imbalances, thus you are in a position to now start from a clean slate and write a balanced story. The phase of release involves certain dynamics of its own and it’s important to understand them so that you have a compass to navigate through this phase. I’ve listed below some of the most common dynamics involved in the phase of release with an explanation of how to work with it.

Attaining an understanding about openness – When you have the right understanding, it’s much easier to navigate the phase of release, just like it is with any journey. The phase of release is all about the conversion of imbalanced energy into balanced energy, and this conversion requires a “converter”, you will have to perform the function of the converter. In the state of unconsciousness you were actually a “generator” of imbalanced energy because of imbalances in your thinking and a lack of openness (suppressing either the dark nature or light nature). In order to become a converter of imbalance, into balance, you will have to understand the attitude of openness which can be stated as – “be open to what arises, be it light natured energy or dark natured energy, don’t try to get rid of anything, just be like space”. This attitude of openness goes against the thinking of wanting control, or wanting to get rid of the negativity, and it talks about being open to allowing the negativity to arise fully and freely.

Openness does not mean that you say “yes” to what arises (in the sense of being motivated by it into action), it just means that you are open to allowing what arises. To say “yes” to what arises involves getting identified in some way. In other words, don’t say “no” to what arises, just allow it to arise without being lost to it, without getting identified with it. Think about being a space which is neither saying “yes” nor saying “no”, it’s simply open. This openness can seem passive but it actually requires a lot of awareness, if you lack the awareness you will simply get pulled in to what arises. Awareness gets built over time as you keep working on developing the space of openness, and vice versa. Awareness just means the capacity to “notice”, or observe, without getting blinded by the momentum, and you can develop this awareness by simply growing in the observation of what arises in you. Some people may have a strong awareness but they may lack the understanding of “openness” – awareness by itself does not dissolve anything until it’s used in conjunction with the state of openness.

Letting go of the need for the “good feeling” – The phase of release involves the “allowing” of imbalanced energies to surface. Only when the imbalanced energy can come into your consciousness can it be transmuted into balanced energy. Imbalanced energy does not “feel good”, or it may feel extremely good only to create a extreme low later. For example, when an imbalanced dark energy accumulation is getting released, you are bound to feel its unpleasantness, it could be felt as waves of anxiety, anger, sadness, depression, inferiority, boredom, restlessness or irritation, however, when an imbalanced light energy accumulation is getting released you can feel waves of over-excitement and exhilaration (of joy or love) which can also be unpleasant in that it makes your body feel the restless sensations. Imbalanced energy is always unpleasant, it’s just that the unpleasantness of the imbalanced dark energy is more evident than the imbalanced light energy. The phase of release is much faster if you can let go of the need for the “good feeling”. The logic is that if you keep wanting the good feeling you will never be able to fully open up to allowing the imbalanced dark energies to arise freely.

This also entails that you let go of the technique of “positive thinking” (or any techniques that are rooted in “trying” to apply some notion of positivity through affirmation or repetitive convincing). These techniques are totally unnecessary to start with and are mostly just “suppression mechanisms” where you try to blanket out the imbalances through the refuge of affirmations. In a state of balance you would not feel the need to enforce “positive thinking”, rather you just become naturally rooted in wisdom-based thinking or objective thinking – the whole notion of positive thinking eventually relies on resisting negativity instead of allowing the transmutation of the negativity into balanced energy. In fact, during the phase of release, you would need to let go of any control-based techniques (even those of focused meditations) so that you can be truly open to allowing the unearthing of imbalances within. You can, of course, get back to these meditation practices, or any other techniques, if you feel like it, when you are in a state of balance, especially if they are of assistance towards improving your productivity or if they provide some entertainment value.

It’s not about “how long” – It’s normal to want to know how long the phase of release is going to last, especially considering the fact that it’s not a very pleasant phase in terms of the energy movement. It can last for a few months, or a couple of years, or more, depending totally on the load you are carrying and on how “open” you are. The lack of openness is what really delays the release from taking place at a faster pace. It’s just that it can take a while for a person to really understand what “true openness” means in terms of living it (it’s easy to understand it as a concept but it’s a totally different deal when you start living it, because then the doubts start coming up and you start clinging to the doubts instead of being open). In fact, the attitude of asking “how long” by itself reflects a lack of openness. Someone who has become fully open could care less about how long a release takes, they’ve simply let go of the having a resistive reaction to it.

Getting over the “am I doing it right” – The deal about openness is to be open to anything that arises including doubts and fears of regression. If you understand the logic of openness you will also realize that it simply involves being allowing of anything including the possibility that you might be totally doing it wrong or you might be regressing or refueling negativity. True openness is free of the need to get it right, because any need to get it right comes from the fear of getting it wrong, and this fear is one of the resistances to freedom. When I understood the logic of “letting go” I also understood that I had to allow all the doubts, questions, confusions and uncertainties, without getting hooked on them – without such an attitude it wouldn’t be possible to be truly open. You need to look at the doubts, and uncertainties, as the dark nature aspects of energy and when they come up to be released they are bound to create negativity in the brain/mind. You have to exercise your understanding of openness and simply stay allowing of these movements. In fact the very deal of “why is this not ending”, or “when can I get back to being happy”, etc, are simply coming from a lack of understanding of the pointer of openness – if you are going to cling to the “idea” of reaching a certain state you are not really being open to allowing what’s arising.

I don’t feel anything getting released – It’s possible that you don’t really have much accumulation of imbalanced energy in you, in which case you are not going to sense any real movement of release in your being/body. It just means that you don’t have to work on the phase of release, rather you simply need to work towards “conscious living” by understanding yourself, in terms of your mind and personality, and understanding the deal of life (as mentioned in the posts – Being objective, light and dark nature of conscious living, Inspirations and deliberate choice, law of attraction and destiny). However, it’s also possible that you are simply not being still enough to allow a release, in that you are constantly keeping yourself occupied in some “mind activity”. If you feel strong emotions of anxiety, restlessness, frustration, anger, sadness or boredom, in your daily living, it’s an indication that there is a momentum of imbalanced accumulation in you. What’s needed is to find some time, and space, to let go of clinging to the mind activity (or distractions) and allow your awareness to sense what’s going on within you. Of course, even if you are not willing to be aware, of what’s going on in you, your life will invariably keep bringing up (or unearthing) any imbalances that you may have through external events – it acts as an unrelenting mirror for you to see your imbalances.

Let go of blame – During the phase of release it’s best to make it totally about yourself. Use everything that happens to you, as an experience, to unearth your imbalances – let go of the attitude of complaining, blaming or fault-finding, towards the outside. I am not saying that you have to live this way all your life, just that this is the best attitude during the phase of release. Once you are in a state of balance you can work on judgments on the outside and working towards using reasoning, deliberate choices, and actions towards making changes to the outside. It’s just that during the phase of release you have to make it all about yourself and use everything as a means to unearth your imbalances. For example, lets say that your friend let you down by not being available when you needed him/her, at this moment you will feel like blaming him/her (and you may be justified in doing so), instead just allow the feelings of anger, sadness, resentment, loneliness, unfairness or helplessness, to arise without trying to assuage them by working on blaming the outside – you mind will hate allowing these feelings, and would try to get into the protective mechanism of complaining and blaming the outside, don’t go along with this pattern.

Remember that this is an attitude that’s needed only for the phase of release. In a state of balance you don’t have to work with this attitude, rather you would be in a position to make objective decisions based on your judgment of the situation without reactions of resentment, bitterness, powerlessness or emotional bias (for example, you may clearly see that your friend is not really a friend, and you let go of the association without resentment or blame, simply as a matter of being objective). When you have imbalances in you it’s not easy to connect with objective wisdom, and the tendency is to simply take action based on the emotional over-drive created by the situation, and thus there is always a lot of inner conflict and indecision surrounding your choices and judgment. The attitude during the phase of release is to simply make it all about yourself, using everything as a mirror to see what it unearths within you. When you sense an imbalanced reaction (or movement), in you, it’s an opportunity to allow the energy to arise and thus be transmuted.

Willingness to let go of past self-image – You can notice that your mind has created a certain self-image (like an actual image of you with some defined characteristics) based on your past, which could be from your past life-times or just past-experiences in your current life-time. This self-image is running on an “auto mode” (subconsciously) until you bring awareness to it. Once you become aware of this self-image, in your mind, you will notice that it’s just a pattern of thought that’s repeating with a momentum. You can notice if your self-image is rooted in some imbalanced patterns of thought in the form of statements or images or a combination of both (for example, your self-image may be rooted in thoughts like “I am so dumb”, “I am a bad person”, “I am hopeless/weak”, “I am awkward” etc or it may just be rooted in images of anxiety). The phase of release involves releasing the imbalanced aspects of your self-image. For this you need to let go of being identified with these patterns in your mind. Just be deeply aware of these repeating patterns in your mind and then work towards letting go of being identified with it while being in a state of allowing (you don’t have to try to suppress it or negate it forcibly, just let it be without identification, it will ebb away on its own).

This is also one reason why several spiritual teachings talk about “letting go of your egoic identity”, however this can be an ambiguous teaching because most people would interpret it as trying to become ego-less, thus trying to detach themselves for their sense of self. The deal is to let go of the imbalanced aspects of ego, or ego-force, so that you can come to a balanced ego, or a balanced sense of self. You have to make the conscious choice to let go of identification with these imbalanced patterns of self-image that you sense in your mind – without your conscious dis-identification these patterns will keep getting fueled sub-consciously.

Growth requires release of the past – The attitude of allowing a release is required even in the state of balanced living. What I call the “phase of release” is simply a way to reference this journey of releasing the unconscious accumulation while moving towards conscious living. However, even in the place of conscious living you will require to use the attitude of allowing a release to align with required growth, knowing that growth is eternal. When you want to grow towards a new reality you need to release all the identities, attachments and thinking related to the old reality. The ability to release, without resistance, is available to you once you develop the foundation of openness while going through this “phase of release”.

Letting go of personal will – This is by far the most confusing aspect of the phase of release mostly because it is the most threatening aspect as far as your mind is concerned. All minds require a sense of control, and this is normal. The problem is that in the state of unconsciousness we become a prisoner to this “requirement” in our mind and thus become control freaks in many ways. You may notice how your sense of security may be dependent on trying to control people close to you, or it may be dependent on how controlling you can be of yourself. Of course, control is needed sometimes as a part of wisdom, and in a state of balance you will have a better/objective judgment on when to control and how much to control, but in a state of imbalance the tendency is to use control as a means to compensate for your insecurities and hang-ups. Hence, during the phase of release, one of the requirements is to start letting go of the need to control (yourself, your life-situations or external elements) – this is only a temporary requirement needed during the phase of release, it’s not the mindset you will have to live with forever.

In other words, you will have to work on surrendering your personal will during this phase of release. This surrender will instigate feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, anxiety, anger, restlessness, confusion, nervousness, guilt and a sense of “death” (of identity) in you. This surrender is one of the most vital requirements to allow a faster release mostly because it’s this surrender that actually brings out all the insecurities of the mind. This surrender will allow the release of all the negativity you may be carrying towards the need for control, and once these imbalances are released you will have the right foundation to then allow for a “balanced control” as a part of objective living (which is what is involved in the phase of “return of focus”). So, you are letting go of control in order to come to a place of balanced control. In the place of “balanced control” you are not trying to control from a place of insecurity or fear, rather you bring in control as a part of objective wisdom – it has a completely different energy and vibe to it when your control is free of the need for security or motivation of imbalance.

It’s not possible for me to give you the exact way that you need to live your life from a place of surrender, because each of us has a different lifestyle which involves different elements and requirements – there is no one-fit-for-all strategy to be followed. You don’t have to end up in some spiritual retreat or a monastery, it may just not be practical neither is it required. What’s needed is that you understand the logic of what is being asked for – the logic is that you need to sense if your need for control is coming from a place of negativity, or imbalance, and if so, work on letting go of this control so that you are not run by these forces – it’s simply about gaining freedom from the imbalanced motivation. Once you have the freedom, you may get back to doing the same activities, that you were doing before, but you will not be doing it from the imbalanced motivations stemming from your negativity. You may not feel 100% functional, during this state of surrender, and your mind will come up with a lot of fears regarding this surrender, what’s needed is that you allow these fears to arise in your state of openness. Once you develop the ability to allow these fears, without being run by them, you are well on your way towards developing inner freedom and the intensity/momentum of these fears will subside in you.

For example, let’s say you are a highly active person who is constantly lost in activities through out your waking hours. During the phase of release it may be required that you let go of several activities that you were using as a means to control yourself (as a means to keep yourself from facing your inner insecurities or confusions or emotional movements) and simply allow yourself to face the restlessness, uncertainty, confusion, or the pull of mind-momentum, that arises. It’s very similar to what you feel when you let go of an addiction, the withdrawal symptoms start arising which can make you feel unsettled and cause you to go back to the addiction – the way to find freedom is to allow the withdrawal symptoms until they release on their own through the natural process of re-balancing. Once you’ve found this freedom you can get back to your activities in a balanced manner (you may see that you no longer are using activities as a means of escape and you have a deeper sense of choice, and deliberation, towards what you get involved with).

In the state of balance you can exercise your personal will, it’s just that the motivation will come from a place of wisdom rather than imbalance. It’s only the imbalance of your personal will that needs to get dissolved, and it can only happen in a state of surrender of control, for a while, during the phase of release. I get mails from people asking specific questions about their lifestyle – “should I do this or not do this, what if I screw up, I am feeling confused” – the answer would be that you first need to stop feeling dominated by the pull of this confusion or fear, allow the confusion, allow the fears that may arise, and sense if you have the freedom from the pull of your mind’s momentum; whether you do the activity or not is not really the point here, the point is to get a sense of your inner freedom from your mind momentum, from a mindset of lack and fear. There is a lot of leeway in life, there is no dearth of opportunities and solutions, if you lose one you get another, you don’t have to feel this sense of lack about letting go of something/someone (the sense of lack is sometimes the biggest motivation behind the need for control in a state of imbalance).

How do I start? – You can start with the attitude of bringing an “inward focus”, just being aware of what’s going on within you. For a while just work on being aware of your reactions, your moods, your emotional movements, your doubts, your insecurities and your suffering – just be aware without the need to sort it all out. Once you sense that you have some awareness of the imbalances in you, just start working on allowing them to arise while staying in a place of openness (also what I call “relaxed awareness”) – you can do this “allowing” as and when you sense the imbalanced momentum arising and also as a practice of sitting for 20-30 minutes, without distractions, per day, allowing the emotional and mental movement to have a free reign while you simply stay open to it all. In some recent posts I also talk about a product called Brainev which has mp3s, that run for 30 mins, that you can listen to, while being in a state of total allowing, which assist in unearthing the imbalances in you, through sound-wave simulations, allowing a deeper and deeper unearthing as you move through the levels each month (there are 6 levels of mp3) – you can read about some details about this product in the post “Eliminating Anxiety”. This product is useful in unearthing imbalances/negativity that you may not consciously allow, and they allow simulate balanced brain-waves to train the brain to dis-identify with the imbalances as it gets unearthed, and thus it assists in a faster movement towards balance – the reason I recommend this technology is because this is not a “feel good” product, it actually works on the principle of unearthing the imbalances so that it can be balanced and hence is aligned with the dynamics of the phase of release.

The logic of the phase of release is to stay in a place of conscious openness (or no resistance) towards the imbalanced movements that arise in you – be it the imbalance of light nature or dark nature. These imbalances can get unearthed by actual events that happen in your life, or through simulation (like using Brainev or using your own imagination to unearth the negativity), or even without any trigger in a passive state. The reason why openness brings a balance to the imbalances is because openness removes the resistance towards the imbalance while also removing identification with it – in the absence of resistance, and identification, there is nothing to fuel the imbalance and thus it naturally falls back into its inherent state of balance (just like a rubber-band, or a spring, falls back into its normal state when you let go of pulling it). Balance is the natural state of energy, and any form of energy will intrinsically move towards balance if it’s not constantly fueled by a force of imbalance – just like how water settles into a clear/calm state on its own once you stop disturbing it by throwing stones in it, without the disturbing influence it naturally falls/moves back into the balanced state, this is true for all of life-energy.

In conclusion, if you look at the whole picture of your journey as a being, there is the initial phase of unconsciousness, or lack of balanced/aware understanding, that leads to the creation and accumulation of imbalance (phase 1), the suffering created by this accumulation eventually causes you to seek a solution which leads you towards gaining a conscious understanding of balance (phase 2), this understanding (if it’s aligned) will lead you to become aware of your imbalances and go through a phase of release (phase 3), and once you are done with the release of the past momentum you have the right foundation for conscious living aligned with balance (phase 4), from there on it’s just eternal expression, and experience, coming from this state of consciousness. This blog covers the dynamics of all the phases involved in this journey, when you read a post you can get a sense of which phase it’s referring to, however, the phases are not always as sequential, you can have a inter-mix of different phases now and then, for example, you can be in a phase of release, or even in a state of balance, while also gaining deeper understanding about life (phase 2 and phase 3/phase 4 inter-mixed). The deal is to have the flexibility towards understanding the dynamics of this journey towards balance; rigidity is the antithesis of the attitude required for balance.

81 Comments

nisarg patelMarch 24, 2013 at 5:49 pm

Previously i was so glued in the positive thinking and positive visualizations, but it did not worked well. I had a high mind momentum, i still i have. But since have understood you teaching it has helped me a lot. It feels that lastly i have come to the right place to calm down my mind. Thanks Sen its great article..

MichaelMarch 25, 2013 at 12:23 pm

I’ve been allowing for 1.5 months or so as well as doing BrainEv for the past 3 weeks. Since then, a suicidal depression has come up (one of my old problems), so I am aware that there is a release going on. I do seem to be a lot more aware of my thoughts than before, even though there are still some old thinking patterns in full force.

While waiting for the release to be complete, is it futile to go after things that I want? Things that I want are a girlfriend and to get popularity on YouTube. Should I just let the life flow create these things months from now when I’m all done? That seems annoying as well as kinda passive. I’d love to hear your thoughts on that. Thanks for writing these great articles too.

HonestyMarch 26, 2013 at 6:06 am

Hey Michael,

Sounds like you are wanting attention. I do not blame you. I feel like this is a natural human need and everyone wants attention, at least at some point in life. I think that if you want a girlfriend you should first do what Sen is telling us to do in this article. Release that energy that is holding you back and do not worry about how long it will take. Just start the release process now.
You should try dating yourself. What do I mean? I mean like having a relationship with yourself, learn to love yourself. Like any relationship, you will build a stronger bond with yourself and learn things you never knew before. But you have to use your imagination here and be creative. But yeah, try that and try not to worry about the need to get that girl. Unless you see one, go after her. Rather try and fail than not try at all. But be smart about your approach. Also do not let fear get in the way.
Good luck bro!

MichaelJuly 29, 2013 at 9:29 pm

Heh heh, can’t believe this was me talking. The release is definitely at its’ most intense peak so far, which is a good thing (from an ultimate perspective), and with it has come the feeling that I don’t know what it is that I’m after (wholeness).

I’ve transcended the point where I can read a comment of “this warm peace and everything is OK” and label that as what I’m trying to come to. Good, yes, confusing, yes. I can assume you had no idea what you were trying to get to (at least you had no idea that what you found was what you were looking for)? It seemed like I knew, which is good that I don’t now, because I’m sure it was filled with delusion. Then again, I can’t possibly imagine what it’s like either. It’s kinda hard to describe what I feel like now – very heavy dark natured energies in my body yelling at me but also not clinging to any assurances.

Pointers such as “It’s a very positive process happening” don’t have much bearing on me because clinging to that or any other “it’s OK” type of thing puts a little blanket on the negativity I’m feeling. Such a feeling obviously goes hand in hand with the high intensity of energy I have, I suppose total openness is what I’m talking about.

As with most people, there is the stagnation feeling of “it seems like nothing is happening” and “I’m becoming more negative”, but these feelings don’t break my awareness, even though I’ve felt like throwing a bunch of tantrums in the past week. I assume the feeling of dread like “There’s so much more to be released, it’ll take forever” is also a part of transcending the feeling of impatience/stagnation, even if a lot is being released at the moment.

I’m not sure what I wanted to accomplish with this comment, I never seem to know what I want anymore when I post on here. I guess I’m just too far past the point of “Help!” when it comes to my mind.

Mike ASeptember 19, 2013 at 8:55 pm

Michael,

That last comment you left in July really spoke to me. Thanks for that. I find myself deep in the phase of release, sometimes so deep that I don’t know if I’ll ever find my way out! Your comment hit home. It’s not that it made me feel better, because I’m not quite looking for that, but it reminded to not cling to the negative energies that come up, NO matter what they are. Sometimes I feel like I’m forgetting all the knowledge I’ve gained though Sen and this site, but then I allow that fear of not having the “right knowledge to deal with a situation” to just be.

Anyways, thanks for that.

DaveMarch 25, 2013 at 12:26 pm

Brilliant.

DaveMarch 26, 2013 at 12:19 pm

I do wonder though, how do you go about your day? Do you live in the now as Tolle wrote or are you just open. Sometimes I find that when I let myself be open, I am just projecting and I can’t let go of the past or things that might happen in the future. And sometimes I forget that those projections are not real if I just let it happen :s. I do recognise that I am not my mind, it is always moving and I can feel a new sense of I at different moments during the day. It happens so fast now. I just don’t know whether I need to cut the attention from going with the mind or rather allocate myself specific time periods of the day to just connect with that openness. Like when I live in the now I feel in control, when I let go i know that’s the unknown you speak of. Life is always now, but I don’t find the diligence to connect with the now so strongly for long periods in the day anymore. Please, can you guide me

SenPost authorMarch 26, 2013 at 11:52 pm

Dave, “staying in the now” is simply a pointer towards being aware of what’s going on (in your mind, emotions and external reality) without being lost to the momentum of it all – it’s a pointer to become a more “observant” person, to develop the capacity to have a space between the pull of mind momentum and your awareness of it. This space gives you the freedom from the mind momentum. Once you develop this space, you can allow a release of the mind/emotional momentum more easily (thus have a faster phase of release). After the phase of release, your awareness feels stable, your sense of inner freedom is grounded, and after that you don’t hold on to any teachings like “stay in the now”, rather you simply live your life in an objective manner. I remember that this pointer, of staying in the now (after I read the book “The Power of Now”), was very useful to me, initially, as I was growing in awareness from a state of deep unconsciousness/disconnection with myself – this pointer caused me to catch myself being lost to the mind and try to be more aware. However, I don’t bother with these pointers anymore, I don’t try to be aware, I don’t try to stay in the now, neither do I try to hold on to any spiritual ideas about life. These pointers were just useful during the phase of release. Now the awareness is just there inherently, and the grounding of openness/inner-freedom is also just present inherently, I don’t get pulled into any psychological suffering (cus of my understanding of life and due to there being no mind momentum to hold on to any drama or emotion), I am just engaged with living my physical life with all its challenges, enjoyments, and ordinariness – what has changed is that my motivations feel balanced, my perception of reality feels grounded/objective, I am not lost to delusional thinking, I feel open to life in all its light and dark nature elements, I don’t have a sense of “this shouldn’t have happened”, I have desires/requirements but there is no sense of “it has to happen this way”, I use my will/focus in assistance towards objectivity but I don’t impose it from a place of fear or desperation.

I think, in your case, you’ve developed a good level of capacity for awareness, so you no longer need to work on the pointer of “stay in the now”, rather you can simply start allowing whatever momentum (mind/emotional) that may arise, whenever they arise. “Trying” to stay aware can also become a blockage, after a while, because you can start using it as a way to impose control on yourself – so at one point you need to let go of “trying” to be aware also.

Samir SyedMarch 25, 2013 at 2:59 pm

Great post Sen. It seems the chatting (practice) has informed the theory; and the theory will now inform the chatting.

JaneMarch 25, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Sen,

Great! Thanks again for sharing with the world your wisdom.

IAN BALASABASMarch 26, 2013 at 3:01 am

Sen,
Your latest blog articulates about the Phase of Release of past emotional accumulation incorporating also the momentum of negativity of the mind in the state of allowing till it loses momentum.
Is it also probable to have an inter-mixed of phases like (in a conscious living) in a phase of return of focus while at the same time in the phase of release of the rest of the 50% mind’s negative momentum ( negativities) that has delayed or left behind.
There are some cases or selected journeys like mine that I am in the phase of return to focus nevertheless there is still some fears and some momentum of negativity left.
My question is at this point of inter-mixing of both return of focus and the phase of release is it possible to continue one of the dynamics of phase of release like letting go or surrendering personal will while in a phase of conscious living or return of focus?
Currently fairly I am losing the intensity of my suffering owing to my unconscious/ego negativity/imbalance/ living in the past for the reason that I am losing the interest of spoiling or indulging it as a matter of delusional spur for enhancement. My whereabouts right now is only the result of its release most likely initiated from the outside and my imagination/reenactment of past negative occurrences and incidents.
By the way I am beginning to practice mindfulness meditation as for the sake for curiosity, experience, personal productivity, relaxation and entertainment.
I am eager to hear from you again sen. Thank you.

PriyaMarch 26, 2013 at 6:11 am

when i go to my in laws house,, i feel very low, they r very controlling and say no to most fun activities, they talk a lot and it gets very suffocating, i am used to saying wots in my mind,, but i keep mum there, so when i get back, i feel resentful towards my husband and it takes time for relations to stabilize, i tried to be very allowing of wot arose, but felt like a prisoner and completely hated it. will i ever be able to get over this? i get v angry and very vocal and dont like myself a lot when am there. my husband is of course very defensive abt his folks and makes me feel like an outsider… i just hate it! will this ever change,, also i think i go out of my way to please everyone and in the bargain end up doing all the work..

adamMarch 26, 2013 at 11:00 am

Thanks Sen, a really perfectly timed post for me. Only in the last couple of days have I really started to come to terms with the idea of just allowing. For me it just has eventually settled as a purely sensible way of being. I saw how much I was resisting, and how it’s the resisting that is hurting me. Resisting in fact just seems to make things work. The only way to get past that is to simply stop resisting and that involves allowing all those things that I had previously considered so awful and worth avoiding. It’s a terrifying prospect at first but slowly the maturity has grown in me that there simply isn’t any other way. This is life. It’s here. It’s the way it is and turning away from how I feel right here and right now is like turning away from life itself. It just can’t work that way, otherwise I’ll live the rest of my existence trying to essentially avoid my own life. Right now my life is full of anxiety and worry and a real sense of confusion and unsettled panic. I can continue to try and pretend that’s not the case or I can just admit it. Admit that this is my life. It’s not the perfect life I’ve been wishing for but it’s here none the less. Wishing for it to be better, waiting for someone to save me or hoping that it will just miraculously solve itself simply isn’t going to work. I have to face this life, live it, be in it, know it. That involves openness, just as you’ve described here.

In a philosophical sense, I think it’s just a case of brining ourselves in line with reality. Reality is not picky, it doesn’t form opinions about what it likes or doesn’t like. It doesn’t discriminate between light and dark, so why do we? All we do is bring ourselves out of alignment with reality. More so, we’re out of alignment with our true nature. We are, at the core of us, fully allowing. Right now our own core awareness is simply allowing everything to happen. It’s not choosing one thing or another, that’s our mind doing that. Our core awareness, our pure being, just IS. It’s just here, all the time, doing this very thing that Sen speaks about. So we’re actually already doing it! We’re being open and allowing everything to just be! What’s not doing this in the same way is our mind. So when we bring our own minds into alignment with this practice that’s all we’re doing: being more in tune with our core self. We are not just our thoughts, our patterns of thinking and feeling. We’re much more than that and the state of openness leads our minds to actually start to realise this.

Like I said, the timing is pretty amazing and this is precisely the summary of my own thought process right now. I can’t encourage people enough to take this idea seriously, to just read it, think about it and let it settle inside of you. You don’t have to instantly start doing it, it doesn’t have to show you results the next day. Just read it, think about it, let it be an idea that you come to understand over time. You’ll see that it makes sense and eventually you’ll start to live it yourself.

MarkusMarch 26, 2013 at 7:03 pm

adam: “Right now my life is full of anxiety and worry and a real sense of confusion and unsettled panic. … It’s not the perfect life I’ve been wishing for … I have to face this life, live it, be in it, know it.”

That is a fine summary of beginning this process: 1. Aargh, life is hard; 2. My wish (mind) has kept me from seeing reality; 3. Now I see it, own it, and can let go of delusion and go with the flow. The fog lifts and you can get on with living in balance.

What amazes me is the great web of delusion a mind can create to convince itself of being in control, of knowing what is best, of justifying limiting beliefs. So much suffering, all because a mind wants to impress its will upon life. Sen’s section about letting go of personal will is key. Once the mind relaxes enough to do this, change can really happen.

DaveMarch 26, 2013 at 4:47 pm

Dear Sen,
Just one short question that came into my mind today. I was sitting and lost in my thoughts like many people all the time, the thoughts were not negative. Then I realized that I was lost in thoughts and started to practive awareness. Maybe an hour before I dind’t feel quite well and once I started to become aware that I was not aware some negative feelings came up from inside.
I once read at your page that it can be normal to be faced with one’s “negative” or suppressed feelings if you practice awareness. I thought maybe this situation could be part of the release of everything suppressed inside, because you also mentioned that one won’t feel blissed all the time while being aware.
Am I right with this understanding, I’m just ondering wheter this is correct?

Thank you a lot

JayMarch 26, 2013 at 5:05 pm

Sen – you theory is remarkable – it resonates. Could you also please provide some simply understood and practised steps for each of the aspects you touched upon? Because the great danger is that you may not do it correctly (I say it fully undersnatding your admonition about not neing worried “getting it right”). I’m trying to apply your theories to my OCD condition in which, something very banal, will transform itself to terrorize me. At first the thought stands there, a small wolf against a mighty bison. As long as the bison stands his ground, he;s safe. But after a stand-off, the bison begins to run, and the wolf-pack gives chase – and the bison dies from a thousand cuts. Sound familiar? How can something very banal make me feel insecure? Well, the mind can link some small action of yours to a chain of linked causation to a truly terrifying outcome. And once you discover the outcome is possible, at first you ignore it. But it persists. Then you need to check and re-assure yourself. Ofcourse it gets stronger. You know you’re a good moral person who won’t harm a fly – yet the feeling of guilt begins to take hold. The protective blanket that the mind has, of feeling secure, without thinking of a hundred dreadful things that could befall you – is gone, irrevocably gone! You suspect and watch your every step, you live in atotally insane state… Please help!

OmarMarch 27, 2013 at 7:37 am

Thanks for the great post.
I have been working with a therapist and I do have the deep feeling that I am releasing the old patterns and learning to adopt new patterns of behavior.
However, I do go through episodes of profound skepticism about the whole process and my mind goes into trying to make the whole therapy process wrong and a waste of time, money and energy.
I have been struggling to keep myself on track in the process of healing.
Do you have any comments about that ?

rossMarch 27, 2013 at 11:06 pm

Hi Sen,

I enjoy the insights i gain from your posts, I have been practicing allowing my emotions and feelings to arise and be open to the challenges of life. When past negative thoughts arise or I find myself worrying about the future, I allow them to “be” without having the need to analyze them. and they do ebb away eventually. I am aware of the phases of release,and as you state they are not linear and may come at different times. Although I feel this works for me,some of my family and friends seem to think I have become emotionally detatched as I am very calm and serene at times when crisis arise, I am aware of this inner peace I experience,but I am wondering am i being passive or coming across as being emotionally detatched?

nvibesMarch 29, 2013 at 4:49 pm

Hi Sen,
I notice when I’m around a particular person they seem to provoke my pain body, which I take out on them. Once it’s passed, I can then see more clearly and feel guilty. I try to make amends, but my pain body arises again when I’m around them, so that I either sit in silence with that person/try to stay away/ignore them so as not take it out on them. They can see this, which makes me feel worse. It doesn’t feel right to keep doing this when I know that this person is going through a really difficult time, and I don’t know how to break the cycle. It feels like someone hitting their partner, apologizing afterwards and then repeating the same pattern even though they can see the pattern – the actual situation is nowhere as bad as this, but it’s still the same energy play all be it on a less intense and more subtle level.

I too am on the receiving end of lots of pain bodies at work. For example, one guy I work with always tends to overreact to any request or information I ask from him, tries to make me appear wrong and this has been going on for over a year.I really am not intending to provoke people’s pain bodies but it seems to happen time and time again, and although the reaction I get has lessened in intensity since i started over a year ago, the pattern is still there, to the point where it’s draining me and I feel more and more despondent. I know that it may be because people are responding to me at an energy level I’m not fully conscious of e.g. not feeling worthy etc, or even if I can see it I know I cannot transform myself overnight. But I feel like I’m constantly being pulled into other people’s dramas and I want to know how to break this. How can I stop provoking other people’s pain bodies when it truly isn’t my intention? I don’t want to be the source of people’s irritation, anger etc. I feel I have been really patient and understanding and not reacting to other people’s pain bodies, but deep down it really hurts me, and to be thought of the cause of people’s pain or blamed for things that aren’t my fault, or being tripped up because people feel threatened/or insecure. I’m at the point of quitting my job but I don’t want to carry this energy into next workplace only to have the pattern repeated again.

How can I break this pattern when i can see both sides? How can I be with my pain body when it gets activated when I’m around a particular person without ignoring/going quiet/getting irritated with them and making them feel bad about being around me as I know they can sense what’s going on?How can I stop provoking pain bodies in other people?

Also,I feel that when I allow intense thoughts and feelings to arise within me that they are stressing my body and making me feel worse e.g. severe bloating, insomnia which I’ve had for years now. How do I allow these intense thoughts and feelings to arise without making myself ill?
Thank you.

MarkusApril 4, 2013 at 8:00 pm

nvibes: “I don’t want to be the source of people’s irritation, anger etc. … How can I stop provoking pain … in other people?”

Remember that you are not responsible for others’ feelings. The best you can do is be mindful of how you carry yourself. There is no way to know what will trigger the emotional wounds of a stranger. All you can do is be clear and respectful. If the other answers inappropriately, be clear about what you will not tolerate. People may begin to take their drama elsewhere if you simply do not take part in it.

What will break the pattern? You no longer taking responsibility for their moods. You are not the source of their anger – rather, you are willing to take the abuse, so they give it. Your ill feeling sounds like a clear sign that you want to change this. If it is intense enough to make you ill, it is worth letting go. It won’t be pleasant, but it will pass. Then this imbalance will fade and take the suffering with it.

“I have been really patient and understanding and not reacting to other people’s pain… but deep down it really hurts me” So stop being patient, don’t be a doormat. It hurts you, so stand up for yourself. The outside reflects the inside – if you learn to respect yourself, your reality will show you respect, too.

SatishMarch 31, 2013 at 7:38 am

Hi Sen,

Thanks for the beautiful article. I’ve been practicing ‘ phase of release’ for more than 8 months. Along with losing momentum of my brain, i’ve also lost my body weight( I was little over weight). Now i also feel lighter in the body.Is it natural in this process? Pls let me know your views.

-Satish

SenPost authorApril 2, 2013 at 8:56 am

Satish, as your establish an inner balance (or as your move towards it) you also start sensing this balance playing out in your external reality (including your body) – finding your ideal weight, moving towards a healthy lifestyle etc start happening as a natural movement, your mindset becomes influenced by the inner balance. Also, there is this sense of lightness in the body, as if the cells have become transparent, this is because you are losing the “density” of emotional energy that was stored up in the body (at cellular level) before.

SharynMarch 31, 2013 at 7:43 pm

Great post – thank you! From my understanding or my experience it seems, life (in a body) itself is what you call this phase of release. It takes consistent awareness/attention. If I was not in this “phase of release” would there be any need for “life” at all? Saying that though you have given great advice. But it seems like once it has begun there is no end. Although I do believe there will be an end to it…. but it is difficult to conceive.

abetApril 2, 2013 at 8:08 pm

Sen

A big theme in your blog is about getting in touch with our “dark nature” or dark energies.. Seems as if this is one of the most important parts of reaching an place of wholeness..

My question is the following: What steps can one take to fully get in touch with our dark nature? Is it simply about being allowing or is there any other tips you can recommend on how we can do this.

I have had a major imbalance towards light nature my whole life which is why i am asking

gabiApril 3, 2013 at 11:44 am

Hello Sen,

I have been reading your articles for the past couple of weeks. I find your work of extraordinary worth.
I have a question about “practising” awareness. you suggest the ” practise of sitting for 20-30 minutes, without distractions, per day, allowing the emotional and mental movement to have a free reign while you simply stay open to it all.”
Does allowing /staying open imply “noticing” thoughts and emotions ? would I be saying internally to my self “am having a thought of such and such ” or “am feeling this emotion”?

What do you know about paraliminal recordings? I’ve been following the Brainev program that you endorsed, and subsequently have received an offer for some paraliminal program which I tried temporarily and think is was helpful in allowing anxiety releases. I believe the program is called The Ultimate Mindfest.

Thoughts?

Casey

SenPost authorApril 5, 2013 at 8:54 pm

Casey, basically once you’ve developed a sense of awareness about negativity, developed the attitude of openness and gained an aligned understanding about life (and the deal of balance of light and dark), it doesn’t matter what means you use to train your brain out of imbalanced thinking which is running on past momentum (or past-created neural pathways). Re-conditioning the neural pathways of the brain can be assisted by some technologies like brain entrainment (used by Brainev) or paraliminal recordings which focus on creating some required positive conditioning to break away from some past conditioning. One can also take the assistance of some good energy healers who can work on releasing emotional energy from the body. The bottom-line is to first develop an awareness of oneself, develop the attitude of openness and have an understanding of balance in life, beyond that you can use any useful technology or healing to do away with the past momentum in a quicker manner. Without the right foundation, just working on getting rid of the past momentum is only a short-term solution because you will re-create the momentum due to lack of awareness and understanding of balance.

DavidApril 8, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Hi Casey, I have been using the paraliminals for about 2 weeks now. I felt an immediate effect. They are really easy to use – i listen to the mp3s on my ipod – and Paul seems to hold similar values and beliefs on Being, LOA, Inner-Self etc. I’ve found them useful in dealing with negative core beliefs. I’ve been struggling with procrastination and after 2 days of listening to the Self Discipline paraliminal I started and finished a project I’d put off for several months, cleaned my flat and completed many other tasks without any resistance or effort.
You can download individual MP3s (or get CDs if you prefer). I was given access to the Ultimate Mindfest free for 1 week, which is what convinced me to try the paraliminals. They’re about £20 each, and if you buy 3 you get one free (buy 4 together, fourth is free).
Hope this helps…here’s the link ….http://www.learningstrategies.com/Paraliminals/MP3s
David

DurgaApril 5, 2013 at 4:03 pm

Sen, thank you so much for your articles. I really appreciate the way you explain things and your articles have helped me so much to understand myself as a being and to understand how the mind works. Your explanations about momentum made so much sense to me. Before I would always employ “techniques” and give up because I did not understand how the mind works/subconscious/automatic thought patterns and thus did not understand that the techniques were just another way to defend or block and thus trap the energy of imbalance. Through releasing and awareness I have come into a much deeper sense of my being and finally found the sense of freedom to choose not to identify with past patterns as they arise in me. It’s an ongoing process and reading today helped me again to know it does not matter how long it takes. I always look forward to your writings and thank you.

AlexApril 6, 2013 at 4:14 am

I keep getting sucked into mind. It feels so real & powerful, i am easily overwhelmed. This is very frustrating, I’m so used to living in my head

i have a question on releasing – if nervous energy occurs, for example foot-tapping, or an impulse to relieve the painful experience through getting up, moving around etc – should that impulse be followed, or is it better to try to sit still and just be with the feelings of irritation, boredom, pain, etc?

also, do you think that release can be done also whilst ‘doing’ something ie a chore like cleaning, washing up, walking the dog etc. ?

3rd question; is it a good idea to try to trigger a feeling by focusing on something that has upset you, or is it better to simply sit still for a time and see what comes up?

thanks for taking the time to read this.

SatishApril 11, 2013 at 6:13 pm

Hi Sen……………. Thanks for the authentic article.

As I told you, I’ve been in phase of release like close to 8 months. All dark nature thoughts are slowly losing its momentum and it really feels better. But it feels some residues of dark nature(specific) thoughts sometimes show up in some corner of mind.Even-though it doesn’t cause any damage, but creates a bad feeling, why this thought still there and why cant it erases 100% in mind. sometimes feels scared, what if i start start fueling again those thoughts.

SenPost authorApril 12, 2013 at 12:57 am

Satish, as you mentioned “sometimes feel scared, what if I start fueling again those thoughts”, this shows that there is still a part of you that’s not aligned with total openness, it’s still guarded and thus fearful. As you move into deeper openness, you will also allow for deeper release of the left-over/residue momentum.

nourApril 18, 2013 at 5:21 pm

I really appreciate the time you taken out for this article sen. Long story short I suffer from derealization and iv been up and down the internet, and reading all kinds of books, after following your posts i can already feel the weight being lifted off my back. but i have quiet a few questions.

Can someone start a wave when ever they wanted to? or do they naturally arise when you are aware of the present moment?

what is the one thing to keep in mind when your body or inner soul is releasing negativity?

does one have to be constantly aware? because at times i hardly notice mind control when it takes over

nourApril 19, 2013 at 2:20 pm

is it normal to feel completely identified with the mind during a release?

SanjayApril 19, 2013 at 3:31 pm

Sen

I guess I might have raised this question with you earlier but I am not sure. Regarding the phase of release, the mind (ego) interprets this as something it has to do. And obviously the ego can never let go of itself even if it tries to. But my question is that I have read many acccounts of the enlightenment experience that has happened to many people. It seems in many cases, the persons to whom this happened were not even aware conceptually of a level of being higher than their current idetification with their body/mind. They were not even aware of the conflict within themselves but suddenly they stepped into this ground of balance. Of course, this was not the end of their problems. Usually, in such cases they come back to identification with their body/mind and then, despair having “lost” the state of balance. Then, this experience of balance sets off a series of actions in search for the truth, which include seeking out gurus, practising meditation and the like. Eventually, however they seem to be able to find their balance despite the practices they involve in to reach it and this time around it becomes permanent. This is also the point where they realize that they can never lose the balance anymore nor did they ever lose it. But the crucial point in their life seems to be the completely unattended occurence of the state of balance as a first glimpse otherwise like all other seekers who do not have that experience and are looking for the truth , one could continue playing the game including the one of having to let go. The analogy I read for what suddenly happened to these people is like a ship surrounded by water on all sides. Normally, the water might not be able to break into the ship but if there is hole by any chance in the ship, then the water will flood in and take over the ship, which will eventually sink in the water. In a like manner, we are surrounded by consciousness/life (other terms used to descibe it are God, etc) everywhere. But the reason we don’t realize this is due to the strong armor of thought (ego) around us. If due to some occurence (not due to the volition of the ego) this guard of thought get dropped for a split second then the originial ground of our being is realized where get a glimpse of our balanced state. Some say that the thing to realize then is to let go even of having to let go – in other words stop the seeking. Even in some of your earlier posts you made some pointers and mentioned that these pointers are for our being and not the ego. You probably meant that something that needs to happen at the level of the being without the interference of the mind. It feels like the being should do the needful to restore balance at its level, which then trickels down to the ego mind/body apparatus. Is this right?

Thanks!
Sanjay

SenPost authorMay 23, 2013 at 6:48 pm

Sanjay, communication can always lead to misinterpretation, or deluded imagination, when it’s not precise (and sometimes even when it’s precise, the individual interpretations can create ambiguity). This journey towards finding inner balance is not really “mystical”, it’s very practical and objective when you see it in a precise manner. Imbalance is created due to lack of understanding, lack of awareness and lack of inner freedom – understanding, awareness and inner freedom, are all interlinked in the journey towards finding balance. If you are highly aware (sensitive/observant/introspective) but you lack an understanding, then you are bound to stay in imbalance inspite of the awareness. If you have an understanding but you lack awareness, then you can’t really use your understanding to let go of imbalance because you are not observant enough of its presence in you. If you have a good awareness, and have a good understanding, but lack an “openness” (to allow a release), you will still feel helpless towards the imbalances. So, in the end, all the three aspects have to fall in place – awareness, understanding and openness (attitude required for inner freedom).

For example, a line you mentioned was – “This is also the point where they realize that they can never lose the balance anymore nor did they ever lose it” – first of all, to say “nor did they ever lose it” is ambiguous and incorrect, because in reality they did lose their sense of balance, and were imbalanced as a being, you don’t discover that you never lost your balance, you discover that you can be consciously balanced from a place of awareness, understanding and openness, and since your awareness, understanding and your attitude of openness cannot be “lost”, once you truly get grounded in them, you can say that “you can never lose this aspect of inner balance”, once you have it consciously – rather, it’s better to say that you are no longer inclined towards imbalanced living due to the level of awareness and understanding that you have. Also, inner balance is not just a “feeling” it’s also a mindset – it becomes a way of living, a way of thinking, a way of perceiving, a way of reasoning. For ex, a person who has inner balance is not likely to hold on to rigid views because he/she doesn’t require the pseudo-security of a rigid view to feel a sense of peace. Like I mentioned, balance stems from awareness (sensitivity, or capacity to observe without being lost to what arises), understanding (gaining reality-based insights) and an attitude of openness (required for inner freedom) – so balance is not something that can happen mystically, it can only happen consciously.

When people talk about – “I experienced wholeness, and then I lost it, and now I am searching for it” – they are basically talking about how they had some experience of inner bliss, or peace, or some sense of stability, which they did not consciously understand, and hence they lost it (if you lack a reality-based understanding you can’t have balance) and now they are searching for the understanding. Of course, they would be required to grow in awareness and develop the attitude of openness before they can apply the understanding of what wholeness/balance is. Even if a person is able to release the past-momentum of accumulation of imbalanced energy, through some meditation or some spontaneous letting go moment, this does not mean that he/she has found inner balance, because the mindset is yet to have the right understanding towards life. Without an conscious understanding you can’t operate from a place of balance, because your mindset is yet to be rooted in the perspective of balance – for ex, there are people who are free of their past-momentum (and thus feel a sense of inner peace) but they lack an understanding of life’s nature of balance (the inter-operation of the polarities of light and dark) and hence they still hold on to delusions, and may indulge in impractical or irresponsible thinking.