Celeb Bait: Lirpa Labs Celebrity Headphones

NOTHING in consumer electronics is more popular right now than headphones. Pick a price and you’ll find no fewer than a billion different offerings (source: Wikipedia). Recent surveys indicate that many consumers look for celebrity endorsements to decide what to buy. Because celebrities and corporations have one thing in common — desire for money — all the A-, B-, and C-list celebs have already paired up with major ’phone manufacturers.

These trends have not escaped the keen eyes of Dr. Loof Lirpa. After making trillions from the incredible Liberty Freedom 1776 A-FY tower speakers covered last year and proudly not paying taxes on any of it, Lirpa has turned his gaze on a whole new market.

“All headphones sound like crap,” Dr. Lirpa said in a recent interview. “Celebrity endorsement is the only factor that matters. To that end, I have decided to produce the Lirpa Labs headphones in Los Angeles, the worldwide nexus of celebrities... and crap.”

Most headphone manufacturers trot out their celebrity endorsers like prized ponies, but on this Dr. Lirpa was rather cagey. “No, you can’t meet them. They’re... too busy. The stars here are the headphones.”