Size Queen's Dream

If you want a toy for penetration, this one is not for the faint of heart. It's big, and while that might intimidate some, I found that it was my favorite part about it. No other toy this large has such satisfying vibrations. Just don't be in a rush to experience them! If you're not a size queen, you need to give yourself some TLC while using this, which will especially help you to forget about the artificial smell!

This vibrating dildo is most definitely able to pass as the kind of toy that your friend/lover gives you as a joke, and you laugh and eye it suspiciously, but then you'll most definitely be tempted to hide it away for later.

It's "super" in every dimension, and is meant to be used for penetrative play, but only if you have a lot of time and a lot of lube, and like to be stretched. Luckily, the flared base means that it can be used for anal play as well as for vaginal. Hooray!

I have to say that if you like realistic dildos, this one is very realistic. Judging by touch, the veins and contours remind me of the real (albeit huge) thing, although it definitely doesn't look real! However, that's where the sexiness of the design ends. Because it's made with Sil-a-Gel, it's got a really strong plastic smell. I've got it in a separate bag in my toy drawer and my other toys still smell sometimes. Not sexy for sure. Also, make sure to use a condom with the toy for safety - the material doesn't rate very high on the safety scale, and you don't want it to harbor bacteria. Additionally, the material is sticky, and attracts dirt and hair and all sorts of other unappealing things. Even washing it doesn't get rid of it all. Yet another reason for the condom!

This toy is not able to disguise itself as anything else, and it's not discreet, that's for sure. It's a behemoth, weighing in at a pound and a half, with a huge shaft circumference of 6.5 inches, while the total length is 9 inches and the insertable length is well over 7.

I'm not a size queen by any stretch of the imagination, so I had a tough time using it quickly. The size, the material, and the angle required to get any satisfying thrusting means that this is only a toy suitable for a lot of privacy, a lot of time, a big horizontal surface, and towels and lube. This is not a toy for travel! And many people probably wouldn't be able (or perhaps want to) get this toy to insert. Unless you're all about big toys, this one will present a challenge.

While I think I may be a convert now to at least owning a big toy for a special occasion, I have one major criticism of this design; the base is not sturdy enough. The base (consisting of balls and shaft) is not big enough for the toy to balance well, because the top is so heavy and the base is so small. I got it to balance after a minute, but it leaned like the Tower of Pisa! Also, the small size of the balls is not proportional to the actual insertable length, which makes this look much more like a silly gag gift than a sexy toy. Also a hindrance to its balance is the fact that the vibe cord comes right out of the center. I'd feel uncomfortable straddling this toy because I'd be worried I'd separate the cord from the toy and ruin the wonderful vibrations!

For such a huge toy, I was surprised by the quality of the vibrations. They traveled through the entire shaft, and were strong enough to feel and enjoy, but didn't sound like a buzz saw! I really liked how there are different patterns and strengths. If you can get past the problem of insertion, I'm confident that anyone will be able to find a setting they liked-vibes, pulses, this baby has it all! The controls are easy (I famously get frustrated by toy controls and I had no problem here!), and the control lights up differently based on the pattern being used. The remote is attached to the vibe through a cord, which is long enough to allow you some freedom of position, but also potentially long enough to get tangled up in! The main negative is that the toy's not waterproof, but I can get past that.

As mentioned above, this toy is made of Sil-a-Gel, and as such, is semi-porous. While it's able to be cleaned with toy cleaner and anti-bacterial soap and warm water, make sure to use a condom on this toy, even if you're not sharing! Water and silicon lube is ok to use with this toy, but stick to water-based because you should be using condoms!

Because of the strong plastic smell and its tendency to attract all sorts of fuzz, I would keep it in a separate place from all your other toys, and in a bag alone.

Difficult to store

Hard to clean

High maintenance

This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.