In a post-Rielle world, no one can afford to dismiss Enquirer scoops. So, for what it's worth: "Al Gore has been accused of sexually attacking a masseuse in Portland, Oregon, - and is named in the official police report":

Says The Enquirer, "No criminal charges were brought against Gore, but the Portland police prepared a document marked "Confidential Special Report" - which records the explosive allegations of "unwanted sexual contact" by Al Gore "at a local upscale hotel." The incident took place on Oct. 24, 2006.

Advertisement

The Enquirer has somehow acquired "secret police documents" and in addition will reveal some "shocking details about the pants she saved as evidence!" Naturally, they've confirmed that the Nobel Laureate was in Portland at the time of the alleged incident and have "seen" the "$540 massage bill." While TNE makes a point of saying that, since this is a sex crime, they will respectfully refrain from publishing the 54-year-old woman's name...they also promise a photograph of her in the new issue. Whatever happens, our thoughts are with Tipper.