Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

and, more on topic: my parents like to tell a story from their early married years about losing their last $20 when they were parked at a gas station. it was a windy day and they found it had blown around to the other side of their car.
Hmm...it's a much cooler story when they tell it...

Well duh he refused treatment! What is the point of half killing yourself for a $20 you desperately need only to incur medical expenses for sitting in a waiting room for hours with your rear in the breeze only to be told to go home cuz you're fine?

Especially since all head injuries were likely pre-existing so not going to be much more of an issue down the road.

About four years ago, I was visiting a friend of mine who owns a little liquor store beside a bridge that goes over a lake (about a 75 foot drop). A pickup pulled over and this man gets out, walks to the railing and tossed a garbage bag over. My friend and I barely had time to even begin speculating what was in the bag when this kid, about 13, riding his bike zips over and dives off the bridge.

Now we're like, "Holy Crap!" and running out and down to the water. We jumped in my friend's boat and booked it over to where the kid was in the water. He had retrieved the bag and we pulled him and the bag into the boat. There were six kittens in the bag. Two drowned, but we saved the other four. The kid took one and my friend kept the other three in a box at the counter and was able to give them away before the day was out.

Now, mind you, I was VERY curious what could be in the bag when I saw it get tossed, but I'm not sure I would have jumped 75 feet to find out. And this was in mid-October and the water was a little chilly...

I think it is so ironic that you guys would jump off a bridge to save kittens when other species of similar size (squirrels, for example) are regularly maligned right her in the same blog. What makes kittens better than squirrels? Is it he lack of rabies? Is that what passes for cute nowadays? Last time I checked, Paris Hilton didn't have rabies but nobody is volunteering to save her from drowning. Martha Stewart makes bundles of money speaking in a monotone and ironing for God's sake, what is wrong with you people? This is so like the "religious right" to play favorites and "holier than thou" while perfectly good kittens are being discarded like yesterday's flush water! God forbid a snake should fall the the river I suppose we could hold a prayer vigil or set the river on fire which you know happens in Cleveland every Friday just after the high school football games which everybody knows is a metaphor for American expansionist/fascist policies in the third world. Whoo-hoo! First down in Iraq, Sadam Hussien to go! Bush keeps it on a quarterback sneak every time. Carl Rove blocks in the back, Cheney holds, and Rumsfeld throws the bomb! Over a bag of Kittens! I'm ready to jump in the river! When will America wake up and see that the unprecedented wealth of this country is being sqaundered by goose-stepping fat cats on the furry little playmates of the rich? No more kitten cartels!

Well, our new kitten was saved from the same fate, but not by someone diving in to rescue them. The neighbor heard a man plotting to do this to the kittens - and Mom, too, I guess, so someone was called in to take the kids away. Ours is the runt, but she's safe now.

To add to the story. I asked the kid why he jumped and he said he heard the kittens in the bag before the creep tossed it. He didn't know the guy. He was just passing by on his bike and was close enough to hear them whimpering or whatever....

Oh, and Schadeboy, the only reason I jumped in for Lois is because she had my car keys. Silly girl indeed...

True Story: Many years ago, my Dad was serving on board a Destroyer off the coast of Vietnam. The waters around there had some pretty peculiar marine life, in the form of 10 foot sea snakes. Whenever a ship was anchored, the sea snakes would congregate around it, eating the fish that were attracted to the waste that got dumped overboard. One day, while the ship was at anchor, time came to hand out the week's wages. (Incidentally, the only place to spend the money was a little 'convenience store' on board ship that sold candy, pop, and cigarettes). Anyway, the breeze whips up and snatches $20 from one of my Dad's shipmates, and blows it in right in the middle of all the sea snakes. With no hesitation, the guy follows it in. His reason? "Twenty bucks is twenty bucks."

MOTW: The guy lived, actually. Despite being the most poisonous snakes on the planet, sea snakes are really sedate creatures. When the guy dove in, they all headed for the bottom. The guy didn't know that, of course. He just knew that he'd be out of smokes for a couple of weeks if he lost that money.

P.S. I remember ol' Steve Irwin *sniff* used to pick up sea snakes and heave 'em right INTO his boat. How the 773H does a guy like that get killed by a STINGRAY?

Esker- I think that's why it's hard to actually believe what happened to Irwin- come on, who didn't expect him to either defy logic and live forever or die in some way more fitting of his life's persuits. I rarely even watched his stuff, but caught the memorial service last night and still blubbered over it