Thinking, about cycling. "Anybody whose mind is proud enough not to breed true secretly carries a bomb at the back of his brain; and so I suggest, just for the fun of the thing, taking that private bomb and carefully dropping it upon the model city of commonsense." (This blog began as an archive of DYNAMITE!, the newsletter of London Dynamo cycling club, which you can still access via "DYNAMITE! filed" in the list below on the left.)

DYNAMITE! #45, 11.04.05

November 21, 2010

DYNAMITE! The OFFICIAL London Dynamo Newsletter #45, 11.04.05

BUN AND DUSTED
As many organisers will know, putting together a race is fraught with so many difficulties that the whole thing is forever in danger of collapsing like an overcooked soufflé – but thankfully the pastry chefs at Dynamo Towers didn’t end up pudding their foot in it during the remarkable rise of the Beginners’ Series. And it’s already scone down in history! Dynamo’s rivals got their just desserts on Saturday as the club completed its domination of the top six placings throughout the trio of novice contests – and the cake-crazy riders once again feasted on the delicious muffins baked by PAUL ‘CANNONBALL’ CALLINAN’s wife Clare when they returned to the clubhouse. It was bun hell of a day! A big thank-you must go out to Clare’s pal Jaci, who manned the cake stall with aplomb (or should that be a plumb duff?) during all three weeks, but who sadly didn’t manage to bag a fella – so Dyna-mail news@londondynamo.co.uk if you were one of the red-faced Shy-namos who were too focussed on the race to make a move on the sweet South African lass. We’ll pass on your details in the strictest confidence! But any tasty treat must have the right ingredients to be a success, so the Dyna-management would also like to thank HUGO ‘TURBO’ CANO, TOM ‘TUFTY’ DAVIES, ‘MEDICAL’ MIKE DEBNEY, MARTIN ‘COMEBACK’ GARRATT, PAUL ‘ALL-BLUE’ HARKNETT, ‘INCREDIBLE’ IAN JENKINSON, DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS, CHARLES ‘POTS’ PEACH, RUSSELL ‘RUSTY’ SHORT, MARTIN ‘PIN-UP’ WILLIAMSON and anyone else we may have forgotten to mention for their support at each of the three events. We couldn’t have done it without you, fellas! So now, as a polite “ping” from the DYNAMITE! kitchen indicates that we’ve reached the correct temperature, it’s time to open up the oven door for a blast of pure racing heat. Here comes the well-greased baking tray…

HOSTAGE OF FORTUNOV
A baker’s dozen of Dynamates crossed the line at Hillingdon’s windy 4th cat race on Saturday – but it was PIERS ‘PRESSURE’ STANSFIELD who narrowly missed out on being the cherry on top. Regular readers will remember how the sprint sensation beat Dan Fortunov at Chertsey, yet fate decreed that Piers’ bid to win again was to be thwarted by the canny Reading racer at the climax of their second battle. Damn it all! Tenacious triathlete DOMINIC ‘I WANT IT ALL’ PAUL was part of the leading quartet before his talented team-mate caught up and graciously asked: “Is this a break?” Dom, who ended up finishing 6th, quipped: “No, Piers – we’re just out for a little afternoon jaunt!” Cheeky sod! With six miles to go, the group swelled to nine riders – one of whom was none other than DAVID STREULE, runner-up of the first beginners’ race – and seven of them broke away again on the final lap just after edged-out ‘Mo DARREN MINSHALL hit the tarmac trying to avoid the grass. Unlucky, buddy! Piers revealed: “By that stage I was toast, but I hung in there and managed to summon up a sprint of sorts at the end.” Dom commented: “‘A sprint of sorts’? He’s being too modest – I was very impressed by it.” So are we, chum!

‘MO OR NO?
There’s still no word on the identity of the mystery ‘Mos who have appeared in our regular slot, but like a lone rider on a fruitless break, DYNAMITE! is determined to carry on undaunted. This week’s dress code transgressor, who e-mail readers can see by clicking the Newsletter link on the website once this week’s edition has been posted on the site, appears to be giving us the bum’s rush. We get the message, pal! To be perfectly honest, DYNAMITE! already recognises this popular Parkrider’s posterior, but you can always Dyna-mail news@londondynamo.co.uk if you rear-ly want to have a go at guessing who it is or perhaps explain why he isn’t fully kitted up. And remember – long-sleeve Dynamo jerseys are still available at a competitive price from Cyclefit’s WC2 HQ. Don’t be seen at the roundabout by Sheen Gate without one!

SMILES ALL ROUND
Finally, DYNAMITE! was pleased to discover what’s been happening in the world of DAVID ‘SMILER’ NORRIS since he rushed home halfway through the first Beginners’ Series race. Regular readers will remember that the Teddington titan’s wife Cally was due to give birth on that very same day – and we’re happy to report that baby Phoebe finally arrived on Friday, weighing 7lb 1oz. Congratulations, both of you!

ICING ON THE CAKE
A gentle pat has confirmed that the sponge is wonderfully fluffy, the creamy middle has been carefully inserted and all that remains is a few gentle squeezes on the icing gun to complete this week’s tasty treat. Mrs Dynamite and Sash The Unofficial Newsletter Cat will have polished off our pudding in no time, but it will be another seven days until you get to scoff with us again. Until then, please remember that we are a dry, unimaginative flapjack and we would be nothing without you, our delicious Box Hill orange and poppy seed cake. So please keep Dyna-mailing your news, gossip, and further sightings of the elusive KEN ‘TART’ BUIST to news@londondynamo.co.uk – but PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS if you are reading this on e-mail. The deadline, as ever, is Wednesday afternoon for Friday’s edition. And now, as a jet of icing sugar shoots straight into our eye, it only remains for us to remind you about…