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Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

I had a dream when I was about 4 or 5 where women were crying and I was getting aroused by that. A few days later I saw a woman crying on TV. Her bottom lip was curled and I was instantly aroused. The rest is history.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

I think mine's been there for quite some time. I've had little crushes on my female teachers since I was quite young (didn't realise they were crushes at the time, or I'd have figured out my bisexuality a lot sooner!) and I used to imagine them crying sometimes and it would make me feel funny. But I didn't identify it as a fetish until I discovered hurt/comfort fanfiction, at the age of 16, and realised that all I was looking for in fanfic was crying scenes.

Quite a few people know about my fetish now, actually. Both my ex and my current boyfriend know (I considered it important enough as a part of my life that I wanted them to know, though I was wary of their reactions - both were fine about it), three friends from my university know and two friends back home, too. Seven people! All were interested in it, rather than weirded out, but I've never gone into much detail about it, so the forum is still very important to me as a place where I don't have to hold anything back.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

How did you describe the fetish to these people, Lemoniep? Sounds like you've been lucky or maybe you describe it such a way that it's very palatable to someone without the fetish. I've told 4 people and I'd say that half were cool with it and the other half were weirded out a little bit (though nothing major). The cool with it ones were a guy I was seeing (who indulged the fetish for me), and a female therapist. The two that were so-so (I would not go so far to say they were particularly interested in it or accepting of it) were my hubby and a male friend. Well, I guess it was kind of hard to tell with the male friend, as I told him online. He just thought it was unusual and didn't ask any more questions (he was probably hoping it was a kink he could relate to more). My hubby is a little bit weirded out by the fetish because he thinks of crying as negative, so to him, it's like I'm into something negative that happens to other people in circumstances he himself could only be sympathetic about. I understand this point of view (and the fact he sees crying as negative is HIS issue, not mine... any therapist would probably say that crying isn't in itself a "negative" thing), but it's OK, because he's used to me having the fetish by now and it's not a big deal. He often grins or laughs if we see a scene on TV with crying because he knows where my mind is going! But only the one guy who indulged me in the fetish actually seemed interested in understanding it, and he thought it was sweet to want to comfort someone so much. Maybe it all comes down to how open-minded and curious the person is about fetishes in general... I certainly am very open-minded and curious, myself!

Sorry, I've steered this thread off-topic -- would love to hear how more people first discovered their crying fetish.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

Well, I've also known that I've had this "thing" for most of my life (when I was around five, I think is when I started to get insecure and defensive about crying), but only identified what it was when I was around sixteen. I identified with it as a fetish for about three years, until this past October, when I realized that I was asexual (of the hetero-romantic variety), which as one can imagine, led to come conflict of identity. Now, I would describe my crying "thing" as a fascination, or a very strong romantic fantasy, but not related to sexual attraction or anything like that. I guess my biggest romantic fantasy is being a girl's "shoulder to cry on" in every sense of the word, with tissue offering on the side.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

Woundedpuppy, I think I built it up as something a bit weird, but essentially harmless, and stressed that it wasn't sadistic though it sounded like it would be, and then finally came out with it and said that I have a crying fetish. I always played up the comforting side. Actually, one person was kinda like 'Sucks to be your boyfriend', but that was the one person I didn't tell myself - a friend who I had told blurted it out, as she finds it quite funny and didn't realise it was such a personal thing to me (she later apologised). I'm quite jealous that you found someone to indulge it - neither of the two boyfriends I've had offered to do that! I am also very open-minded and told my boyfriend the other day that there weren't many things I wouldn't try to indulge for him - he still didn't get the hint, but then I don't think he could make himself cry anyway, he's too stoic.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

lemoniep wrote:

I'm quite jealous that you found someone to indulge it - neither of the two boyfriends I've had offered to do that! I am also very open-minded and told my boyfriend the other day that there weren't many things I wouldn't try to indulge for him - he still didn't get the hint, but then I don't think he could make himself cry anyway, he's too stoic.

I think I lucked out with that guy. Although it's probably better to just have a guy who cries a lot naturally and not have to do all that work to get it! But it was the most exciting "work" I ever did, haha, for sure. I think I came out and asked him directly, though -- hard to imagine him saying, "Hey, here's an idea, would you like to bring me to tears right now?" But yeah, if they're too stoic to begin with, it's not going to work. Unless you're satisfied with glycerine tears.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

I'm in a sharing mood today, so I'm bringing back an old thread.

My fetish started when I was in the fifth grade. Our teacher was crying while reading Where the Red Fern Grows to us, and every girl, including me, was crying. Only one boy was crying, and he would go on to be made fun of for the next several weeks. But anyway, I always felt disgusting while crying. My nose would be all stuffed up and I couldn't see anything because of all the tears, and it was really stressful not to be able to stop. But sitting to my left was my friend, a girl who wasn't stressed out at all. She was just sitting there, slumping a little in her seat, arms folded, with big glistening tears rolling down her cheeks and onto her t-shirt. Her tongue would every once in a while dart out to grab a tear that had come near her lips. Obviously I didn't even know that girls could like girls that way, but it was beautiful. That's when I took a deep breath and tried to imitate her. Arms folded, breathing through my mouth, sniffling occasionally to keep my nose from running too much. No more rubbing my eyes. I felt a lot less stressed, even though the dying fictional dog kept my tears coming.

In all honesty, I'm not even sure this is a fetish. I just like watching girls who can cry like that. That was the day when I started to change the way I cry. It's easy to change habits at that age, I think.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

I'm pretty sure I've had it in some form or another since I was born. My family sometimes jokes because, apparently, as a kid I used to run to the mirror and watch myself if I started crying. When I got to be older (4 or 5, maybe?) I had stopped doing that (I don't really have any interest in self-obs, I think that was just my only way to get exposure to crying at that age). Instead, I would find myself attracted to any tv show or movie with crying in it because of the warmness and the funny feeling it gave me in my stomach. I started recycling these scenes in my head with me as the comforter, and would sometimes make others up. Of course, they made no sense at the time, since I was 5 and the people in these scenes rarely ever were, but I never cared. It wasn't until I got to high school that I started exploring the idea that it was an actual fetish with sexual attraction involved. The sexual side of it still isn't as strong for me as the simple joy of the intimacy of comforting someone, but it does exist.

I've never told anybody outside of the people on this forum about it, and the only person I ever would tell would be my bf. I'm not in any hurry for him to know, though. I'm sort of of the mind that I won't volunteer the information, but I won't hide it if he asks, either, so it's basically waiting in secret until he decides to ask if I have any fetishes or deep dark secrets I've never told him. To be honest, I'm really afraid of that day, because I have no idea how he's take it, but I love him too much to lie to him about it if he really wants to know.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

I think I belong to these who have it for a long time. I can't exactly remember when it first started. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to watch tv and we didn't have a computer, but I remember that I went to the cinema all allone, always hoping to see a nice crying scene, and if I found a film that I liked sometimes I went to see the film several times.Not a single person in this world knows about my fetish, just you on the forum. I was and I still am embarassed to have it, that is the reason why I never told anybody, not even my husband.

Re: How did you discover your fetish/how did it begin

I don't remember a trigger, guess always in me, I liked the aesthetic of tears rolling down a beautiful face and leaving streaks on the cheeks. I do remember one of the first times I saw a non relative cry, it was during a 3 day retire in the countryside, I was around 18 at the time and a female friend in her mid to late teens started to cry, big, round teardrops started to overflow a trailed at different speeds, she allowed them to fall unchecked. I was amused at the sight but was unable to take any action.