Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Distressed Jeans, Wood, and Souls

The first time one of my teenagers begged me for a pair of distressed jeans, his eyes were huge. He thought the ripped and abraded denim was beautiful. It was a new, very cool, status symbol.

My perspective as a mom who wanted pants to last as long as possible was quite different.

A few years ago, a friend showed off her distressed wood furniture. It had the strength of a new piece of furniture (which it was), but the appearance of an antique (because of purposeful marking and marring).

Today, I explored the internet to learn how do-it-yourself people can create the distressed look. With wood, you can put nuts, screws, and bolts in a bag and then beat the wood. With jeans you can put a block of wood under the fabric and then rub the denim with a nail file or a cheese grater. Yikes! I guess you do what it takes to get the look of age you want.

But what about when you have a distressed soul that feels old and helpless from the flailing of others' sins banging into you without mercy? What if your distressed, abused heart looks horrifyingly ugly to you? What if you are longing for restoration, rather than another round of abuse?

There are people who take old furniture and make it look like new by devoting hours of loving attention to nicked wood.

There are artists who take seemingly useless jeans and create art pieces.

And there is One who can take beat up souls and refurbish them. He can tenderly repair the bruised heart, the torn soul, the soiled mind, the beaten spirit.

God can indeed restore the wounded, the battered, and the downtrodden. Having been physically abused by an ex-husband many years ago, I know that God’s mercies are new every morning (see Lamentations 3:22-23). He heals, gives peace, and proves himself as the God of all comfort. What a blessing to be able to minister to other women from our own experiences, give them hope and show them the love of Christ (see 2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for the Abused Woman by Marie M. Fortune

Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.

Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden

Safe People by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Slay Your Own Dragons by Nancy Good

The Cinderella Syndrome by Lee Ezell

The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.

The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee

Turning Fear to Hope by Holly Wagner Green

When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse by Tim Jackson and Jeff Olson

Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

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Welcome

Being abused by another hurts deeply and creates many challenges. But you don't have to settle for merely being a survivor. You can become an overcomer with dazzling wings.

You might feel worthless--but you are not. You are valuable to the creator of the universe. A new life of freedom, peace, and joy awaits. Facing abuse, ending it, and healing from it is a huge journey that leaves behind hopelessness, embracing new life.

Just like myself and other abuse survivors, you can unfurl dazzling wings with the help of Jesus Christ.

This journey is possible. I've done it and so have other formerly abused women and men who have shared their stories with me. Come join us on a life-giving journey of change.

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About Me

For thirty-five years, I felt worthless. It seemed like I wore a sign across my chest inviting others to abuse me.
Unfortunately, I had an abundance of personal experience with being a victim of domestic violence, incest, emotional abuse, physical abuse, date rape, verbal abuse, and spiritual abuse. And then I experienced being the mother and stepmother of children who were assaulted by a pedophile.I felt like a cursed woman.
Since multiple people felt comfortable assualting me and then my children I assumed that there was something wrong with me. I had let me myself down in some unknown, mysterious way.
What if God let me down, too?
One day, in desperation, I prayed asking God to end the abuse.
God heard. He rescued me. He continues to heal me. His kindness, grace, and mercy far exceed anything I could’ve imagined or hoped for.
He has given me dazzling wings to soar above the pain of past abuse, spreading His message of hope: God does not approve of violence in any of its manifestations. He rescues those who cry out to Him. He heals the wounded.

Disclaimer

I share my thoughts and feelings on this blog about a very sensitive and personal topic, but I need to remind readers that I am not a licensed counselor or a legal advisor. Please weigh everything I say with prayer. Feel empowered to take what you want and leave the rest.