The Key to Finding Happiness After a Divorce

And when you’re having a physical problem, a heart attack, or a stroke, you take care of yourself.
“And when you grieve, you have to allow yourself to feel.
In the days and weeks following a divorce, Castaños says that it’s vital to connect with friends.
But Castaños maintains that social interaction is what is going to help you survive a breakup.
And when you grieve, you have to allow yourself to feel.
Because if you don’t, and you just keep all those emotions inside, they come out in different ways.” Additionally, rather than throwing yourself into an obsessive spiral or sitting on the couch and drowning your sorrows in an entire pizza, Castaños suggests finding healthy, constructive ways of coping.
“Drawing is a great way for people to express themselves,” she says.
It’s a very positive means of expressing your feelings.” And, when all else fails, Castaños says, you can always write.
“The exercise of writing by hand is good.
If you feel so angry at this other person, write it out!

Whether it comes as a surprise, is a mutually agreed upon arrangement, or falls somewhere in between, divorce comes with its fair share of pain — emotional, yes, but also physical. “The same place in your brain that’s activated with physical pain when you’re having a heart attack, is also activated when you’re heartbroken,” says Dr. Carolina Castaños, an award winning psychologist and the founder of Move On, a 14-week program designed to help people through breakups. “So your body is physically hurt. And when you’re having a physical problem, a heart attack, or a stroke, you take care of yourself. You go to the hospital, you take your pills, you take it easy, you do whatever you need to do.” However, the scars left by a failed marriage often go unattended.

Dr. Castaños spent years working with patients who were struggling after coming out of broken relationships. Seeing how anxious, depressed and under pressure they were, Castaños came to a revelation. “What I realized is that once a week was not enough for them,” she says. “I’d ask them, ‘How was your week?’, and they’d be like, ‘It was terrible. I’ve been having panic attacks, or I’m super irritable.’ So I started thinking, ‘I need something to help all of these people. I need to find a way to be with them when I’m not with them.”

For men to cope with the idea of their marriage ending, Castaños says it’s important to remember that it’s a grief process. “You’re grieving. It’s a loss,” she says. “And when you grieve,…

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