Up in the air about a sticky issue

Writing sex scenes isn’t necessarily rocket science, but it can have something in common with rocket science. Such as when the male participant goes all Cape Canaveral. Because, you know what they say: “What comes up, must go down.”

Or something like that.

Anyway, after writing one particular scene where the guy’s payload goes airborne, I remembered something important: Women read these books. And I wondered if the typical woman experiencing this outcome would think, “Houston, we have a problem,” or “Fly me to the moon.”

The poll results were revelatory. “On my tits,” with 12 votes, out-tallied “on my ass” and the far-ranging “on my lower back/feet/neck” category, each of which drew nine votes. Both beat out “on my face” which came in last place with six votes—but maybe not for the reason you think. “In my mouth” finished third with 26 votes, giving legitimacy to penile nicknames like “love gun” and suggesting that women prefer men with good aim—which, by the way, requires practice.

With 49 votes, the most popular destination was “on (not in) my pussy,” indicating that sometimes a woman prefers a man whose aim is a little off. “Anywhere and everywhere” finished second, which means more ladies gave a thumbs-up to feet than it seems at first glance.

It’s not surprising that the so-called facial got such low marks. The Jezebel.com article cites sex experts who say it’s an act of humiliation. Not that it’s intrinsically demeaning, though—feelings vary widely from one woman to another. What was surprising was that Megan Andelloux, founder ofthe Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, said, “Many people struggle to believe that receiving a facial is something a woman could enjoy.” So much so, that a female student who said in class that she experienced her first orgasm when her boyfriend came on her face endured the wrath of other women, “as if by admitting a liking for facials, she was committing an act of violence against other women.”

Interesting, but not germane to my question. Since my San Fernando Dreams sex scene involves no body parts with cheeks, I determined it should play okay with the target demo. Still, I felt I could do more research on the actual target.

On the other hand, Batski’s comment on that TFP.com poll was, “When my lover wanks over my tits, it’s very horny, and I love to see how excited he gets, and watch his come shoot over my tits, and I know it really turns him on when I rub all his spunk in like body lotion. That’s erotic and hot.”

The post is written as a conversation between a man and a woman who both said they’d participated in such a thing. The woman copped to twice in her life, while the man stressed that he’d never done it “within the, like, first three times of having sex with a person,” adding, “This is not a terrible sixth date activity, like going to an outlet mall.”

The woman asked why men seem to like it so much. He said, “Maybe because boobs are awesome?” ’Nuff said—except that he added, “It’s a mini-compliment—‘Hey, your boobs are great, I’m clearly into it and they’re big enough so we can pull this off, you and I together.’”

And, he said, “big enough” doesn’t even have to be all that big! Really—boobs…penises…they go together like chocolate and peanut butter.

This finally gets to the heart of the matter. In my scene, Douglyss (that’s the woman), is the one who chooses this particular activity, surmising that her lover will enjoy it. She has smallish breasts and isn’t all that happy about it. The guy, though, not only doesn’t care that her breasts are smallish, but actually is turned on because they are.

In romance, unlike porn, the thoughts, feelings and pleasure of the woman must take center stage. Some romance even co-opts the tropes of male-oriented porn, but puts women in control. In that Jezebel.com article, sex educator Charlie Glickman says showing men ejaculating on women in porn emerged as a way for “the viewer to see two things at once: evidence of male pleasure and the equally important sign that a woman’s reaction to that pleasure mattered.”

Douglyss decides; everybody wins. Unless, of course, you side more with SwtMelons than Batski.

Anyway, on that Yahoo Answers thread, Jem wrote, “Don’t trust people who speak for large groups of people. There are billions of women out there—are all of them gonna have the same tastes? In our society, if you admit you like raunchy stuff as a woman, you’re called a slut, a whore, etc. I’ll be honest, I love it. Ejaculation is a man’s orgasm, so why shouldn’t I enjoy the result of pleasing him, of having made him come? I like everything about it… the smell, the taste, the warmth. Sex is messy… I don’t mind. I like it everywhere on me. I find it damn hot.”

In short: If you think something’s hot, it’s hot. And if not, it’s not. No need for rocket science.

Oh, and somebody, please find Jem and let her know San Fernando Dreams is on the way.