Rule Forty Two: The Self-Aggrandizing Website of Gavin Edwards

So how tall is Bono, anyway?

Not very. For decades, the only official word on this matter was a questionnaire filled out by somebody at the U2 World Service, where Bono was listed at five-foot-eight. Let’s just say that was optimistic, presumably on the theory that if Bono kept drinking his milk, he’d grow up real tall one day. According to the online U2 FAQ, Bono’s pal Gavin Friday has recently given Bono’s height as five-foot-six-and-a-half.

So how do we doublecheck that height? In New York City, where I live, it’s not hard to find women who have literally bumped into Bono at an airport, stood next to him at a party, or passed by him on the sidewalk outside the restaurant Balthazar, to pick just three female friends of mine. (And he macked on only some of them: the friend outside Balthazar got treated to a long, up-and-down leer. “He was like a construction worker,” reports an eyewitness, “only with expensive eyewear.”) At any rate, gauging against their own heights, and taking into consideration that Bono was sometimes wearing visible heels, all three agreed that Bono seemed to be five-foot-six.

(Excerpted from the 2006 book Is Tiny Dancer Really Elton’s Little John?: Music’s Most Enduring Mysteries, Myths, and Rumors Revealed, published by Three Rivers Press, written by Gavin Edwards.)