ACCORDING to a new survey the average Brit commits 32 different crimes every year but a lot of the time we don’t even know we’ve done anything wrong.

You may not realise it but the chances are you’re almost certainly a criminal. In fact you’re not only a criminal but a habitual, repeat offender. According to a survey commissioned by BT TV the average Briton commits 32 different crimes every year, most of the time without even realising it.

The study of 2,000 adults in the UK found that although 98 per cent of us consider ourselves upstanding citizens, in reality we are all breaking laws we didn’t even realise existed .

From a cheery toot of a car horn to say goodbye before driving away to hoovering your front room after 6pm on a weekday , from “borrowing” your neighbour’s Wi-Fi to throwing overhanging tree cuttings into their garden, it seems there are a whole slew of offences of which many of us are technically guilty in the eyes of the law.

The record of misdeeds continues: it is not only against the law to be drunk in the street but also to be intoxicated in a restaurant or even a pub; using a fake name on the internet is not allowed; and taking a child out of school for a holiday without obtaining permission from the head could also see you fall foul of the authorities.

It seems that even the most joyous of childhood activities are not immune to prosecution. Flying a kite in the park could lead to a fine of up to £500 if your fun obstructs other members of the public.

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Vacuuming after 6pm is also illegal

And don’t even think about letting the little ones enjoy a cheeky game of “knock down ginger” – disturbing people by ringing their doorbells or knocking at their doors and leaving before they answer also makes the list of criminal behaviour.

Other crimes are more obviously wrong although still trivial in most people’s eyes: the surreptitious pinching of a 5p plastic bag from the supermarket; pocketing the wrong change; cycling without lights after dark; failing to clear up your dog mess; smoking in a no-smoking area. However it might be argued that these fall under the banner of antisocial behaviour rather than criminal activity.

The list of misdemeanours even includes the heinous act of sticking a postage stamp upside-down on an envelope – supposedly such an affront to the Queen that it is considered an act of treason.

“People are often surprised by what is legal and illegal,” says Danielle Clements, senior litigation lawyer at Gorvins Solicitors in Manchester.

Clements says: “Some of these laws can make people accidental law breakers without even knowing it. For example it’s important not to throw trimmings from an overhanging tree back into a neighbour’s garden without seeking consent first. This could be deemed to be fly tipping. And using a neighbour’sunsecure Wi-Fi connection without their knowledge could lead to criminal charges .

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Apparently, being drunk in a pub, street or in a restaurant is illegal

“On the other hand some of these so called ‘small’ laws are in fact not small at all. For example, offences such as driving through a red light, using a mobile phone while driving, not wearing a seatbelt and speeding are all motoring offences and can result in serious consequences for the offender.”

But before we all turn ourselves in to the police , Mark Thomas, senior lecturer at Nottingham Law School, Nottingham Trent University, believes that the scale of our supposedly nefarious activities might not be as alarming as this list would suggest.

“Many of these so-called offences are mere hearsay often arising after an ill-thought out game of Chinese whispers with no evidence to support their basis in law,” he explains. “Other offences were destined to become law but did not quite reach the finish line. Playing ‘knock down ginger’ for example is technically a nuisance not a criminal offence.”

Thomas also has good news for errant stamp-affixers afraid of being sent to the Tower for treason. “The Treason Felony Act 1848 makes it an offence to do any act with the intention of ‘deposing the monarch’,” he says. “It seems unlikely that placing a stamp upside down fulfils this criterion. However a good number of those crimes listed do remain a matter of reality whether they are within the public knowledge or not.”

Although the survey revealed that two thirds of those polled believe many of these laws to be completely unnecessary, the same amount admitted they feel guilty if they break them.

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Using someone else's wifi without them knowing also makes the list

Perhaps most tellingly, more than eight in 10 respondents said they were confused by what is and isn’t illegal. And of the 33 per cent who revealed they have been caught doing something illegal, a third claimed they weren’t paying attention at the time and more than one in 10 didn’t even realise they were committing a crime .

And even for those acts on the list that are definitely considered criminal there remain legal grey areas. Getting caught in the park flying a kite for example is unlikely to see you hauled before the courts bang to rights.

“In certain cases these bizarre offences are real and do have punishments attached to them ,” says Thomas. “However in many of these cases the law applies to narrow circumstances, often with a raft of exceptions interwoven in the offence itself .

“The nature of law and the regulation of criminal offences is ultimately determined by public policy – is it in the public need for an individual to be punished for their actions? In many of the examples the answer is an outstanding ‘no’.”

And regardless of what the law might technically say, Thomas believes that in most cases common sense prevails.

“Given the absurdity and outright nonsense that many of these ‘offences’ concern,” he says, “the public can rest assured knowing that an over-zealous police officer will not be knocking on their door at two in the morning.”

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It is illegal to fly a kite in a park

TOP 40 ‘SMALL’ LAWS BROKEN BY BRITS

1Drank alcohol under the age of 18

2 Sworn or gestured to other road users

3Eaten or drank while driving

4 Vacuumed between the hours of 6pm and 8am on a weekday or 1pm and 8am on a Saturday or on a Sunday

5Parked partly on a pavement

6 Cycled on pavements

7Speeding while driving

8 Pocketed change when given wrong amount

9Beeped a horn for any reason other than alerting traffic

10 Been drunk on the street, in a pub or in a restaurant

11Changed a CD while driving

12 Had sex in a public place

13Bought cigarettes under the age of 18

14 Dropped litter

15Took illegal drugs

16 Disturbed people by ringing their doorbells/ knocking at their doors and leaving before being answered (or playing knock, knock, ginger, also known as knock down ginger)

17Not worn a seatbelt during a car journey

18 Flown a kite in a park

19Used a fake name on the internet

20 Stuck on a postage stamp upside down

21Used a mobile phone while driving

22 Cycled without lights after dark

23Parked on double yellow lines on a street

24 Drove through a red light

25Not paid for a carrier bag at a self-service check-out

26 Had sex when you were under 16

27Not had a TV licence and watched TV

28 Used someone else’s wi-fi without them knowing

29Smoked in a non-smoking area

30 Threw tree cuttings back into your neighbours’ garden

31Claimed an item at the self-service till without paying for it

32 Taken a child out of school for a holiday without the head teacher’s permission