'The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.'

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Servants without scars?

You are sat in the station reading an interesting book, when you hear your call sign being mentioned over your airwave, you and your colleague are being dispatched to an address where a woman is threatening to commit suicide.

After a ‘swift’ drive, you arrive at the address with your eyes in the back of your head, your colleague thinks he’s Jenson Button, of course he is. You’ve been to this address multiple times, your colleague has also, so much so that you know the occupants by their first names, and you know the neighbours by their first names too.

You can understand why she would want to commit suicide, she lives in a ‘shit hole’, her neighbours are worse than the Manson Family and she has no prospects, none at all. Her house smells of urine, her television doesn’t work, she sleeps in a bed that isn’t really fit for a human being, no carpets, no wall paper, nothing of value at all, it's hard to see, it's even harder to forget.

Even though you know you should feel some resentment towards her for threatening to commit suicide when it is clear she has no intention of doing so, taking up your's and your collegues time that could be spent on the real victims, on those who actually are in need of help, you can’t help but feel responsibility for her.

Some say that those who actually want to commit suicide, those who actually want to end it all, manage to on the first attempt. Those that fail, those that tell people they are going to commit suicide, via text or phone, or in person, are just attention seeking. The problem with calls to the Police, where people tell control operators that they are going to kill themselves, means that the Police have to attend the scene, to make sure she/he is safe, even if it is the eighth call of the day, from the same address.

'I didn't say I was different or better. I'm not. Hell, I sympathize; I sympathize completely. Apathy is the solution. I mean, it's easier to lose yourself in drugs than it is to cope with life. It's easier to steal what you want than it is to earn it. It's easier to beat a child than it is to raise it. Hell, love costs: it takes effort and work.' Detective William Somerset, Se7en.