Welcome back, lurkers, to the next installment of Office Picks! The special time every month when we let ourselves out of our cages and tell you what we’re feeling. As much time as we at Jenkem spend thinking about ourselves, we pay attention to other junk too. We like music and movies, we enjoy a tasty beverage, hell, some of us can even read!

Every month we’ll share the nerdy and not so nerdy things we’re listening to, reading, watching, eating, and ashamed of. Check out our March 2018 picks, you might even find something here more important in your life than Jenkem (as crazy as that may seem).

Listening to…

Imaginary Worlds
Each episode is a fun close read into some fascinating aspect of a fictional movie, book, or TV show, like worker’s comp for Death Star subcontractors and why the ending of St. Elmo’s Fire proves we all live in a dream. It makes all the juicy stuff that hardcore fans debate accessible to lay folk.

Reading…

“The Worst Roommate Ever” – New York Magazine
The headline doesn’t do this story justice because it makes it sound like every other story about a roommate. This one contains a legit psychotic, murderous, and charming nut job. You’ll want to live by yourself.

Watching…

The Good Place
I was skeptical of this show because it looked too much like a middle America sitcom, but it’s actually clever. Good to tide you over if you’re also waiting for Arrested Development season 5.

Brewing & Pooing…

Weird yogurts
Trader Joe’s has these weird-ass yogurt flavors like avocado citrus, citrus medley, and matcha green tea that as a youngin’ I woulda been like “nah,” but as an old fart, they’re my most exciting hobby.

Ashamed of…

Listening to…

The Bunt Live
I hate that I love it. I hate the lingo, but then I start talking like them. The saving grace to the pod is the sports chat at the end. I like being able to talk sports with skaters, there’s a different attitude than talking to straight up sports fans.

Reading…

“What Happens When Athletes Do the Sportswriting” – NYTimes Magazine
Even if you don’t think it’s fair to call professional skateboarders (like Sinner or Fred Gall) “athletes,” there are a lot of similarities between sports journalism and skate “journalism.” And can you imagine a publication like Player’s Tribune, where the pros do the writing, but for skateboarding? New shit coming soon to jenkemmag.com.

Watching…

Law & Order: SVU
You know when that infamous clung clung sounds you’re in for a whirlwind 40 minutes of exploring questions of sexual consent peppered with obscure medical diagnoses and hilarious Ice-T aphorisms.

Brewing & Pooing…

Tap Water
After a long weekend imbibing nothing but liquids spiked with uppers and downers of all sorts, it’s refreshing to stand in front of the kitchen sink and chug glass after glass of the purifying elixir of Mother Earth.

Ashamed of…

Camp Woodward
When it’s late and I feel like torturing myself by watching rich little shrimps skate incredible skate plazas better than I can at my old age, this’ll do the trick every time.

Listening to…

The Madcap Laughs – Syd Barrett
Been revisiting this old fav. If you like artists like Daniel Johnston or Bob Dylan, you’ll probably like Syd. Although they’re all pretty different and they’re not the greatest singers or guitar players, they draw you in with their raw and honest songwriting, which this album is full of.

Reading…

I Am A Strange Loop
This one’s a fun read that deals with the idea of consciousness and how we develop a concept of self and “I”. Maybe don’t read it if you’re not ready to grapple with the idea that you’re just a result of a series of autonomic brain functions.

Watching…

People Just Do Nothing
I don’t watch a lot of TV, but when I do, I love torturing myself by watching shows that induce excruciating secondhand embarrassment. I like to think of this as a UK version of Trailer Park Boys.

Brewing & Pooing…

Mexican Vanilla High Brew Cold Brew
This is basically canned crack and has been saving me from those painful 3 p.m. slumps during the work week. I like the Mexican Vanilla flavor the most, but the rest of the flavors are all fire as well.

Ashamed of…

How little I skate these days
“Sometimes skateboarding involves not skating.”

Watching…

Black Panther
Go see this for Michael B. Jordan’s performance as Killmonger. Then read this essay about it. Then tell your POC friends it’s Movie of The Year so they know how woke you are. 5 Stars, Movie of the Year.

Brewing & Pooing…

Water
Water is cool. I’m over seltzer, now I drink water. I just got this new water bottle, takes like two days for ice cubes to melt. Pretty neat. Fuck you.

Ashamed of…

Rocking wireless headphones
Feel like such a douchebag with these around my neck but at least I won’t shred them when they fall out of my ear and get stuck in the spokes of my bike tire. At least they’re not air pods. Fuck those look dumb.