Tiny Town, USA – The sweet science is making a return to downtown Ithaca this Saturday when the Greater Ithaca Activities Centers hosts the Chet Cashman Classic.

Twelve bouts are planned starting at 2.30 p.m. in the Beverly J. Martin Elementary School Gym at the corner of W. Buffalo and N. Albany Streets.

Talented boxers from throughout the region will be in the ring including fighters from Ithaca, Elmira, Cortland, Syracuse and Rochester.

If you haven't attended a boxing event before this is a great opportunity to see what a thrilling sport it really is. This is not about concussions and brain damage and "knockin' nosebones into heads" as Mike "The Biter" Tyson was fond of saying.

Check out the poster here for more details. Come by and show your support for the sport, for GIAC and for Chet Cashman, who has almost single-handedly kept boxing alive in Ithaca. Cashman has kept GIAC's free boxing program open for a couple of decades now and it's still going and with help from a few friends and enthusiasts, growing again.

Be there or remain ignorant of this fabulous event.

– Franklin Crawford, former slugger with the deviated septum and slow left eye to prove it

The dreaded Haterdillo takes on Bandycorn, the Ruthlessly Spotted, in the most talked-about re-match of the year. At the Smuckers Open Air Prehistoric Arena this Saturday. Purple Flying PigDragon to officiate.

Animal Creator-- the only Animal Creating iPad app co-created by TTT's artist-in-residence! Create tens of thousands of new animals from existing animal parts. Color them in, listen to the sounds they make, put them in scenes, make them fight! Submit your creation to editor@tinytowntimes.com and we'll put it up on the site.

HERE IS WILLIAM B0NAPARTE WITH THE RARE BASEBALL CARD HE F0UND IN A H0LL0W TREE IN THE N0RTH DANBY STATE F0REST.

THE CARD IS S0 RARE N0W BECAUSE N0 0NE B0THERED T0 SAVE ANY WAYNE TWRWILLIGER CARDS, SINCE EVEN THEN, HARDLY ANY 0NE KNEW WH0 HE WAS. YET TERWILLIGER WAS THE KIND 0F DEPENDABLE JOE EVERY TEAM NEEDS. HE 0NLY G0T 0NE H0ME RUN IN THE YEAR THIS CARD WAS ISSUED, BUT THEN AGAIN, HE HAD FEWER ERR0RS THAN ANY SEC0ND BASEMAN IN THE LEAGUE THAT YEAR AND WAS, THE CARD N0TES, A SPARK PLUG AND A HUSTLER. C0NGRATULATI0NS T0 WILLIAM B0NAPARTE, AND 0UR THANKS T0 WILLIAM TERWILLIGER, WHEREEVER Y0U ARE, AND T0 SPARK PLUGS EVERYWHERE!

AGGRESSION HERE: (Photo right) The Ithaca Tompkins County Aggression football team hold a chicken BBQ fundraiser in August. At least one local parent thinks their name is too violent and bad for The Children.

TINY TOWN, USA – There is something wrong with the Ithaca Tompkins County Semi-Pro Football team, says a Tiny Town parent. It's not the green uniforms, or the fact that they haven't secured a home field as of earlier this month.

It's their name.

"They call themselves the ITC Aggression," says Jules Piffleton, adjunct instructor of human development and a member of Tiny Town's Alternatives to Violence Mens Circle and anger management counselor. "Aggression refers to behavior between members of the same species that is intended to cause pain or harm. We think that inappropriate even in a sport like football."

The ITC Aggression is the first semi-pro football team to assemble here in more than a decade. They are affiliated with the North American Football League (NAFL) an 11-year old organization based in Eden Prairie, MN.

According to the Aggression's promotional materials, obtained at a BBQ chicken fundraiser on Bill Lower's lot at the corners of W. Clinton and Meadow Streets earlier this month, the group of 30-plus players and coaches are: "A first year team trying to get on our feet and make positive things happen for many people on our roster ... Our goal is to help individuals reach their potential on the playing field and to serve as a positive role model for the community."

Sounds like good, clean fun even if the injury rate is 100 percent.

But Mr. Piffleton, a father of two, is more concerned with how the name with effect "the children." From wars to Wall Street to online poker and the really rad computer sport Grand Theft Auto, Piffleton says the children are being saturated with violence.

"There is enough hostility and aggression in the world and the children pick up on it," he says. "Do we really need it in the name of a team that represents Ithaca?"

Mr. Piffleton and his group have come up with more than a dozen alternative names for the team: The ITC Greens (no need to change color of uniform); The ITC Conifers (again, no need to change colors); The ITC Pajamas; The ITC People; The ITC Assertion; The ITC Makepeace; The ITC Golden Retrievers; The ITC Cats; The ITC Planets; The ITC Sprinkles; The ITC Sciences; The ITC Bugs ... and some others.

The editors here disagree with Mr. Piffleton's concerns about the team's potential impact on The Children. It is in fact a perfect descriptor for the actions, intentions and behavior of any self-respecting football team.

Our concern is more practical. While "aggression" is a noun that lacks "particularity" as one TTT reader put it. In addition, it is singular and does not convert to pluralization. Moreover, what kind of mascot will they have? A big green ... what? Surely if it is a big green Aggression it will frighten The Children.

Furthermore they have chosen the color green, which is synonymous with eco-peaceniks, prairie fairies and political groups associated with Marxists. While the New York Jets are green, too, as well the Philly Eagles, they are plural and particular things. It puts undo pressure on a player to say "I play for the Aggression." It leads to questions not related to the sport.

Despite these quibbles, we applaud the ITC Aggression for breaking new ground in sports logisms. Kudos to the chef as well. The BBQ chicken dinner was excellent and the cole slaw unusually good for such a venue.

THAT MUST HURT: To the left is a shot of the Grotfield Woodchuck's home field, taken from a Guthrie 1 MediChopper as it carried away a player injured by an enormous splinter.

TINY TOWN SATELLITE OF GROTFIELD, USA –– Kids coming home from school with splinters in their foreheads. Formaldehyde poisoning. Confusion.

This is what the parents of the children of Grotfield Senior High School Football team face every day. And it's worse for the kids playing soccer on the field.

"Every summer since Billy's been on the team I dread it," says Trudy Farbst, a mother of five living in LingLing Park, a mobile home community in Grotfield. "He's had splinters that we can't get out with tweezers and I've had to use the BBQ tongs on one that got deep in his bee-hind."

Farbst's story is a common one for mothers of the boys (and one girl, nose tackle Shannon Tyler), who play for the Grotfield Woodchucks, the school's football team.

The field was never meant for long term use, says coach Ben Albright.

"It's just a lot of old plywood and particle board painted green," he said. "The striping was done by an outfit from Elimira that doesn't exist any more. That was our pride and joy."

The number 57 is displayed at midfield in honor of Grotfield's legendary Native American linebacker Rue Argen Taylor, who died in a freak accident in 1983.

"We were practicing on the field -- back then, it really was a field," said Coach Albright. "It belonged to a farmer who was leaving it fallow and it was full of chuckholes. Rue broke his leg in one of them and got an infection at the clinic. Died in a week. Damned shame. Scouts from SUNY were here to watch him. He was something else."

After that, the administration at Grotfield pushed for a new playing field and the now defunct Grotfield Lumber Co. donated the raw material. The district is the poorest in the county.

Superintendent Phyllis Kinder-Kline said it is time again for the community of Grotfield to come together as a whole and refurbish the playing surface. Ms. Kinder-Kline is on summer break and could not be reached for further comment.

Despite the playing field or perhaps because of it, the Woodchucks have a perfect home record.

"Most teams would rather forfeit than play here," said Coach Albright. "We think that's just plain un-American."