30 May 2008

I worked recently for one of my partners who had to deal with a family emergency. When I walked in at the appointed hour, the unit clerk saw me, and said in a clearly disappointed voice, "Oh it's you? I thought we were getting Dr Bob today..." I took it good-naturedly and gave her a little grief, but didn't give it any other thought.

Until the nurse in my designated area saw me, and said in the same tone, "Oh. Where's Dr Bob?" I explained that he was sick, and that I was working for him, and she was sort of quiet and left it at that. At that point I began to develop an inferiority complex.

The tech had the same reaction when she, too, realized there was no Dr Bob.

Finally, a fourth person saw me and said, "What are you doing here? The schedule said it was supposed to be-""Dr Bob, I know!" I snapped, "What am I, chopped liver?!" I had been under the impression that I was well-liked by the nursing staff, an impression that was rapidly evaporating.(Condescendingly) "Oh, you're fine. But every day when Dr Bob works, he brings in a big bag of candy for all of us.""Ah. I was not aware of that." Candy. So that's the ticket.

The other nurse came in at that point and saw me at the physician's desk, and exclaimed, "What? No Dr Bob? Damn. I wanted candy."

So now I know what to do to really get in the good graces of the nursing staff. I'm going to be stocking up on Costco-sized bags of candy. Then they will be disappointed when I'm not working.

A hint- Chocolate is best. Bite size Snickers, and Hershey's will be well received and have nurses waiting at the door for you on days you are scheduled. Buy cheapo mixed candy and prepare to endure cranky nurses - cheap candy is worse than no candy.

Come on, that's like the first rule of doctor-staff relationships. Bring food!If they're on the Atkins diet, then you have to do a veggie tray with low-fat dressing, cheese cubes, or one of those huge cans of peanuts. Animal crackers, M&Ms, Swedish Fish are all winners. No donuts. They get stale by the end of the shift.

You need to brush up on Atkins, Dr. WhiteCoat. Low-fat dressings are LOADED with sugar, a big no-no on all low-carb diets.

Raw veggies are allowed on just about every diet and aren't really a treat (though I would be thrilled with that, as long as the dressing wasn't low-fat). But your big can of peanuts is a winner. Smoked almonds would be even better--they are lower in carbs and more delicious, and most low-carbers don't have them that often. Also good are pecans, walnuts, and macadamia nuts. Or berries and whipped cream (sweetened with a little sucralose, of course).

Swedish fish? At first I thought you were talking about those Pepperidge Farm goldfish. Then I looked them up. Ugh. Revolting.

I have found what scores the most points with my staff is frozen yogurt from PinkBerry or Cefiore or many of the new copycat places that have sprung up around here like mad. So when I leave the office to do surgery, I try to pick up some on the way back. Chocolates and candy just don't do it here any more because we already have an abundant source for those, especially around holiday time.

Shadowfax

About me: I am an ER physician and administrator living in the Pacific Northwest. I live with my wife and four kids. Various other interests include Shorin-ryu karate, general aviation, Irish music, Apple computers, and progressive politics. My kids do their best to ensure that I have little time to pursue these hobbies.

Disclaimer

This blog is for general discussion, education, entertainment and amusement. Nothing written here constitutes medical advice nor are any hypothetical cases discussed intended to be construed as medical advice. Please do not contact me with specific medical questions or concerns. All clinical cases on this blog are presented for educational or general interest purposes and every attempt has been made to ensure that patient confidentiality and HIPAA are respected. All cases are fictionalized, either in part or in whole, depending on how much I needed to embellish to make it a good story to protect patient privacy.

All Content is Copyright of the author, and reproduction is prohibited without permission.