International left-handers day: 6 struggles of being a leftie

It’s international left-handers day, because being a leftie in a right-handed world is so rubbish they had to let this tiny proportion of the population (10 per cent) have its very own annual occasion. Like Christmas where the only presents are special scissors and left-handed golf clubs.

In the same vein as spiral notepads this office stationery is the leftie kryptonite.

2. Pens

Aside from the biro pens are the devil. Trying to write anything with an inky pen will end in a page full of smudges and a stained hand. Also note, ballpoints are meant to be pulled not pushed so jar when in the grip of a left-hander.

3. Scissors

Left-handed scissors designed for special leftie use are arguably harder to cut with than the standard right-handed version. The solution? Teach yourself how to use the regular pair.

4. Dying sooner

Righties live longer and there’s no way of getting around that fact. It’s science.

5. Anger problems

Previous studies, including a 2012 paper published in The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, have shown lefties are more prone to negative and angry thoughts. It’s probably down to the frustration at being sentenced to live in a world designed for the right-handed.

6. Ned Flanders

Ever wondered why lefties have such a bad rep? Their most famous spokesperson is ‘Stupid Flanders’.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, there is a whole wave of Christians who believe, ‘There is much evidence that… people who have chosen to use Satan’s hand… will burn in hell for all eternity.’

So, on this day dedicated to those few, eternally damned lefties in the world, spare a thought for their strife.

And maybe lodge a petition with your bank to get rid of those pens on strings, because they’re evil too.