This is from a message I recently received from Neal Donald Walsch, author of the hugely successful Conversations With God books:

What I want you to know is that every action is either strong or weak, and when every action is strong we are successful.

Wallace D. Wattles said that, and he was right. You know when the action you take is strong, and you know when it is weak. You can tell in your gut. Endeavor to take no weak action whatsoever. Run away from it. Reject it. Go for the strong action, the strong choice, every time.

You know, by the way, what is meant by all of this. You have been weak in some of your choices and decisions, and you have been strong. You have been both in your life. But no more, right? Only strong from now on, yes?

A New Year, with new hopes and new promise of transformation and growth.Before you can begin the process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back…and get rid of things that don’t serve you well. (Someone sent me a list of 30 things, which I have adapted for this article. I’m sorry…I don’t know the name of the creator of the original list).

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Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ABSOLUTELY! . Here are some ideas to get you started:

1.Stop spending time with the wrong people.– Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

Additionally, hang out with folks who are operating at the level at which you want to be.

2.Stop running from your problems.– Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

Write those those difficult letters of forgiveness and gratitude.Write down what you need to deal with, and start cleaning them out one by one.

3.Stop lying to yourself.– You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. ReadThe Road Less Traveled.

4.Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.– The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of having things, or loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5.Stop trying to be someone you’re not.– One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be thinner, smarter, younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6.Stop trying to hold onto the past.– You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.The future holds something much better for you, but you can’t receive it while your hands are still grasping things from the past.

7.Stop being scared to make a mistake.– Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.Ask yourself: “Would I rather live with the pain of risk, or the pain of regret?”

8.Stop berating yourself for old mistakes.– We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.Mistakes can be fertilizer for growth!

9.Stop trying to buy happiness.– Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, grace, laughter, living our Purpose, and working on our passions.

10.Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness.– If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. ReadStumbling on Happiness.

11.Stop being idle.– Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.Step out and serve someone with more problems than you, and you’ll be “in action” and feel more alive, too!

12.Stop thinking you’re not ready.– Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.And don’t let not feeling “worthy” hold you back.You’llprobably never feel fully worthy of the big things you want…just go after them and give back to others along the way!

13.Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons.– Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14.Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work.– In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15.Stop trying to compete against everyone else.– Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16.Stop being jealous of others.– Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17.Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.– Life’s curve balls are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curve balls thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.In fact, say that you’re grateful for life’s challenges, and you’ll truly start to benefit from them!

18.Stop holding grudges.– Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, list the lessons you learned from it, move on and commit to do better next time.

19.Stop letting others bring you down to their level.– Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.Like the old country saying goes, “Don’t get into the mud with a pig.You’ll both end up getting dirty…and the pig likes it”.

20.Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.– Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right, and get on with it.

21.Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break.– The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.Being busy doesn’t equate to being productive.

22.Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments.– Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23.Stop trying to make things perfect.– The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. ReadGetting Things Done.

24.Stop following the path of least resistance.– Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.

25.Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t.– It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26.Stop blaming others for your troubles.– The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27.Stop trying to be everything to everyone.– Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.

28.Stop worrying so much.– Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.Positive BELIEVING, beyond positive thinking, is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.Better yet, be an “inverse paranoid”—convinced that the Universe is conspiring FOR you!

30.Stop being ungrateful.– No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.Gratitude is the most powerful, self-loving act you can perform.Use your “gratitude muscle” several times a day, and watch your life improve!

Do you ever wonder why such a small percentage of people truly experience the success they want? I think that we all know gifted people who somehow never attain what they say they want, never actualizing the talents, intellect and advantages with which they may have been gifted. Inversely, there are numerous stories of people who start with very little, and achieve much more than anyone would have expected.

Why is this? Here’s one reason, according to Napoleon Hill–“The majority of people never discover the difference between wishing and believing; nor do they recognize that there are six steps which people usually follow in using their mind-power for the attainment of their desires.” These steps are:

First: The vast majority of people go through life by merely wishing for things. The percentage of people who stop at wishing is estimated at 70%.

Second: A much smaller percentage of the people develop their wishes into desires. These are estimated at 10%.Third: A still smaller percentage of the people develop their wishes and desires into hopes. These are estimated at 8%.

Fourth: A still smaller percentage of the people step their mind-power up to where it becomes belief. These are estimated at 6%.Fifth: And yet a very much smaller percentage of the people crystallize wishes, desires and hopes into belief, and then into burning desire, and finally faith. This percentage is estimated at 4%.Sixth: And last, a very small percentage of the people take the last two steps, putting their faith into action by (1) planning and (2) acting to carry out their plans. This percentage is estimated at only 2%!

”The outstanding leaders in every walk of life are the ones in the sixth group. They recognize the power of their own minds, take possession of that power and direct it to whatever ends they choose. To these people the word “impossible” has no meaning. To them, everything they want or need is possible– they manage to get it. The only trait which differentiates them from most of the others who accept failure as their lot, is that they recognize and use their mind-power for the attainment of the circumstances and things they want while the others do not.”

How to open up possibilities, wishes, desires, hopes, beliefs, faith, and action, and start moving into the world of success? Start with gratitude…every day. This is a great time, around the Thanksgiving holiday, to start building your “gratitude muscles”, and opening up your heart, mind, and faith to possibilities. Gratitude takes our focus off our “don’t haves” and gets us excited about what we DO have, ever-so-gently nudging us into the world of abundance thinking. Once we start residing there, we start naturally resonating with possibilities, wishes, desires, hopes…and a chain reaction, an “abundance evolution” starts within us, which grows into beliefs, faith, and action.

So, this Thanksgiving, start the daily, conscious habit of gratitude (each day, Oprah lists 5 things that’s she’s grateful for—if she has time to do this, you do, too!) Yes, every day!

Wishes, desires, hopes, beliefs, faith, and action…where are you? Start your journey to action (and success!) with gratitude. Then, next Thanksgiving, see how much more successful you not only feel, but truly ARE.

I am gratitude fanatic…and from what I hear and read, I’m not the only one! When interviewing experts and authors on my “Abundance Leadership” radio program, gratitude was mentioned several times as a powerful force to change one’s attitude, productivity, relationships, and environment.

As a tribute to my favorite holiday, I’m sending along some thoughts on the importance and power of living in a state of gratitude, of thankfulness EVERY day…not just on the fourth Thursday of November.“Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.” ~Jackie Windspear, author

“Sometimes we get so caught up in the future, we forget to take pleasure in what we have. We become so obsessed with ‘I want, I want, I want’, there is no room left to notice that we are already standing neck-deep in grace.” ~ Carolyn Hobbs, therapist, writer, teacher“Appreciation can make a day, even change your life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” ~ Margaret Cousins, author“Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.” ~ Jacques Maritain, philosopher“It’s a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.” ~ Roberto Benigni, actor & director“You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing, and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.” ~ G.K. Chesterton, writerThere are myriad things for which we can be grateful–and we need to BE grateful before we can be entrusted with more. Look at all you have now…my gosh! Every day I am grateful for the miracle of being able to feed myself, to speak, to read, sing, and walk. I am SO grateful that I can contribute to the Salvation Army or Food Bank.!Above all, I am deeply grateful for the loving people in my life: for you, for my friends and family, for my sons and their spouses, for my adorable little dog (who can always make me laugh on my worst days!), and for all the unknown people whose efforts and caring make my life so full.“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” ~Marcel Proust, writer

Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.

And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.–Steve Jobs

I don’t know who came up with this, but I remember seeing it a few years ago. Such simple wisdom often bears repeating…

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that,“When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.”

However, we have all been witness to “more advanced strategies” often employed for dealing with “dead horses”. We may have even used some of these ourselves, in our business, or in our personal lives. See which ones you recognize.

These “dead horse strategies” include:

1. Buying a stronger whip, and keep “beating a dead horse”. 2. Changing riders.3. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 4. Arranging to visit other businesses/countries to see how other businesses/cultures ride dead horses.5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse. 8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed (my personal favorite!)9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse’s performance.10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line than do some other horses. 12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

And of course….

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

SO, take a look at all areas of your business AND your life, and see what your dead horses are. Once discovered, by all means, disengage yourself from it–and see how your progress improves!

Someone once said – “There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, have compassion for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

Everyone falls, fails, gets hurt, makes mistakes, and is treated badly. No one goes through life unscathed, so why should you? Why should I? One of the greatest gifts to yourself to to get over the notion that life SHOULD be easy (who said so?) and find those places where you are fed, honored, and safe. Then express gratitude every day for what you have (my mantra is “if you can still feed yourself and you’re not in jail, then you have two big things to be grateful for”). Start now. Life’s too short to live it half way, and a lousy attitude only makes your life miserable…Too bad, when there are choices to live differently.

I listened to a teleclass today by one of my favorite authors and teachers, Marshall Goldsmith. His approach is straight forward and rooted in solid experience and research…and he’s just fun to listen to (and talk to…I interviewed him in 2008).

Today’s topic was how to increase employee engagement–but it is a good approach to increase your OWN engagement and your own happiness, as well. With employees, it can be used to improve how employees approach their work and their relationship with their job. As with most things, this is an “inside job”–it’s not something that someone can do for someone else. And, frankly, if a person isn’t willing to take a good, honest look in the mirror, be accountable, and CHANGE, nothing anyone else can do will probably help. In fact, Marshall Goldsmith says that this approach, described below, is only for those folks who want to be happier and more engaged. If they don’t, well don’t even try to help them make a shift.

But for those folks who do want to be happier and more engaged in what they’re doing, and in their relationships (and I hope that’s you!), here are the simple steps to take. You can use these with yourself, or with an employee (or even a child)…

It’s all about asking the right questions.

Ask “active questions”—based on doing, setting, achieving, etc. , questions focused on what you CAN DO. For example:

“Did you do your best to increase your own engagement in this company?”

“What did I do today to increase my happiness?”

“Did I do my best to increase my happiness?”

Ask yourself (and/or the other person–employee, for example) every day, or the end of each meeting

“What did I do…

To increase my happiness?

To increase my engagement in this (process, project, company, etc.)?

To find meaning?

To be of service?

To build positive relationships with the important people in my life?

To remember the people I love?

Etc…”

Write these down as goals…share them with others.

Ask your chosen questions every day…make them a habit (sharing with others will help this process)

Be fully accountable and honest with yourself.

Why are these questions and growth in these areas important? Because they break us out of the inertia of living in a reactionary mode. They keep us focused on what really matters. They move us from “victim mode” to “victor mode”. They can cause shifts that make us more positively productive and satisfied. They can make us more in love with what we do, and with who we are. They open doors in our thinking to having more meaning in our lives.

And, do you have to love what you do, and do what’s meaningful in order to be highly successful? Studies show that people at the top of their game, say “Yes”! So, creating meaning by being more fully engaged and happier, can also make you more successful.

Wow–living with more meaning, happiness and success! Isn’t that what we all want? So, I challenge you today to make a set of of 3 questions that, when positively addressed, can make your business and your life richer. Choose some of the questions above, or create your own, about what you can DO to change your personal engagement with life. Then ask yourself every day for 30 days (yes, another 30 day challenge!) and see how your happiness, business, and overall meaning start to bloom.

Even Bernie here knows that we need to do whatever it takes in order to see our way clear and make progress! Vision is essential…it’s even written that without vision, the people perish. As you all know, I’m BIG on building strategic business plans to run and grow your business; and a powerful vision is an essential element of that plan to pull you up to the top of your game, AND the top of the “success pyramid”.

Yes, vision is a hugely important element, yet often glossed over or ignored. This “vision gap” explains why some people who for 10- 15 years have been on a steady growth path, suddenly become bored.

In most cases, the reason is that they are trying to move forward using yesterday’s plan…yesterday’s vision. What a shame! So much more can be achieved, and passion renewed by “upping” the vision to something that truly excites and inspires.

Expecting tomorrow to be more rewarding, while using an outdated plan, is like trying to drive to New York with a 1955 road map. You may get there, but at a high cost in time, energy and unnecessary frustration. Is that what you want?

Using the map analogy, above, there are three obvious problems when you don’t have a map OR a personal vision, andboth instances cause long-term problems:

1. You cannot move in new or inspiring directions.

2. The lens through which you now see will not move you from where you are now.

3. Your creative energy is kept low because your focus is inadvertently with the old ways and

the old maps.

4. Your focus will be on your frustratingly slow progress, and you will miss opportunities that cross your path.

How to fix this?

Go into the future. Failing to start with what you REALLY want (for your company, yourself, your family, your legacy, etc.) is kind of like doing a “Fire! ready, aim” sequence. In other words, there’s no real target. You’re just shooting! What a sorry waste of time.

So, what do you want? What does the word “success”, the STATE of being in “success” mean to YOU? How will you know when you get there? Thoughtful answers to those questions are probably a lot closer than what you may think at first.

Start by answering these questions: What is the one area or condition in the state of the world that I’d like to impact? What would I like to do with and for my family? What kind of legacy would I like to leave? How would I like to spend my leisure time? Where? How often? With whom? How would I like to expand my giving back to the world? How would I like to expand/educate/grow myself?

Apply the idea “make the future happen inside of you” as often as you can. It is a great way to create a “bridge” to what you want.

Ask yourself several times a day, “Is what I’m doing at this moment leading me to what I most want?”

The thing is, if you can decide what you want, you can also decide how to get it. Most of us gloss over the “what I want” questions too quickly….so, please, take time to think deeply about these things.

Action item –”a week of wants”:

Spend the next week mulling over where you want to be in 18 to 24 months. Write things down as they come to you, or do a “brain dump” or a “heart storm” (as opposed to a brain storm) session alone or with your “nearest and dearest”. Write in a journal or carry index cards for the whole time.

Here are the rules: No edits allowed and no trying to answer the “how” questions. Just let it flow, and jot down your ideas. Within a week, you will have plenty of inspiration and ideas… not only a nice beginning to your new map, but the proper sequence of “Ready, aim fire!” will be put in place.