Archive for April, 2020

Vapid girl: It's like how some people go on long runs to train for marathons. I eat cheese to condition my stomach for when I don't eat vegan.Neighboring diner to girlfriend: The world will a much better place once we start eating people like her.

Queer #1: Black people really must like taking the bus. Queer #2: You're disgusting. Queer #1: What? I always see them waiting in line for buses. Queer #2: That's because they may have some financial issues.Queer #1: Well, so do I, but I don't take the bus. Queer #2: Only buying things that are on sale at Bergdorf's and living paycheck to paycheck are two very different things.

Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what? Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot. Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against!