Someone Crying Jordan’d Every Game Of Thrones Death This Season

Hilarious video. Crying Jordan has somewhat lost it’s luster over the last few months. I think we might’ve reached peak Crying Jordan at the NCAA Championship with Carolina and Jordan being there and the way it ended and all. So that’s a bummer. But I don’t think it will ever die. Because for every lackluster effort, there’s a video like this.

Since we’re here. And since I just rewatched Winds Of Winter last night. I figured I might as well run through a little #InMemorium of all these deaths. It’s long so I’ll just roll right into it…

I still get emotional as fuck watching Hodor and Young Hodor die. First time I saw the episode it was more like “NO, NO, NOOOOOO”. But the second time I just sat there and openly wept like a baby. Hands down, saddest death on this show and possibly any show ever. Shit, probably the saddest death — tv, movies, real life, whatever — that’s happened in this entire Year of Death that is 2016. Well, okay, second saddest besides Harambe #RIP

Rickon, give me ONE juke move due. One hard cut to the left. One hitch and go. ANYTHING besides a fly route. Idiot.

In a shocking sequence of events, it turns your homicidal sociopathic bastard son did in fact plan to kill you all along, Roose Bolton. Who would’ve seen that coming?

Doran Martell, whatever, you sucked. Dorne is trash.

Nobody has ever been #ForTheBoys harder than Wun Wun. Dude is the absolute definition of #ForTheBoys. May we all strive to be #ForTheBoys as hard as Wun Wun. #RIP

Ramsey… gotta go down as one of the top five villains in TV history, right? Top three? I mean you’ve got Gus Fring, Ben Linus, Nina Meyers, The McPoyle Brothers, Joffrey. All great choices. But when you consider how quickly Ramsey made Theon fucking Greyjoy a sympathetic figure, how he killed his infant brother with fucking dogs, how he made your skin crawl every time he touched the screen, how he basically murdered everyone in his path in the most ruthless way possible. You can very easily make a case for #1. And to end his arc like that… getting mauled alive by his own dogs. Incredible character arc. (And no, anti-hero main characters like Tony Soprano or Walter White or whoever don’t count in this category.)

I could watch that fuckboy Olly and that asshole Alliser Thorne die on a loop for the rest of eternity.

Hey The Waif, no so easy fighting blind, huh bitch?

Something I’ll never get over… how Lancel Lannister could get his face cut open and walk around in chains and probably get tortured and all of that… yet he takes one stab wound from a little kid and can’t even stand up to stumple over and blow out the candles.

I don’t care about the whole timeline argument with Varys getting back from Dorne too quickly or whatever. With shows like this you just let things happen. You don’t complain about a fucking timeline when you just watched Bran see into the past or three dragons burning ships to the ground. But the Lancel thing… I don’t know man, it just pissed me off. Like yo, GET UP dude. You’re gonna fucking die anyway. Suck it up and stumble your way towards the fucking WILDFIRE that’s about to burn you down to your soul. GET UP YOU SON OF A BITCH

The High Sparrow… The High Sparrow can absolutely go fuck himself. Like Cersei said… It felt so good to watch him realize he lost and then burn to a crisp. So satisfying. Good riddance you old manipulative fuck.

On the flip side… How unceremonious was Margaery’s death? Short of maybe Stannis and a few other I can’t remember, we’ve gotta a pretty satisfying end to almost every major character. Not always actually satisfying, because it usually sucked to watch characters you become attached to just get the shit killed out of them in the worst way possible. But satisfying in the sense of, “Okay, this was their death scene, this is how they died. This is the definitive end for this person.” Yet with Margaery it kind of just felt like she was tossed into the High Sparrow’s Death Scene. Like, we all knew she was up to something. She was clearly not genuine about her pact with The Faith. I was dying to know what she was up to. And then boom, she’s dead.

Walder Frey’s sons in the pie was hands down the best Crying Jordan in this video. Absolutely lost it when he opens the pie crust to this…

And last but not least… Walder Frey. What will I remember Walder Frey most for? For having, without question, the best old man creepy perv laugh/smile of all time. This… this is perfection.

So that’s it. That’s Game Of Thrones Season 6. Death, death, and moredeath. And death and death and death and death (cc: Marshawn Lynch). Awesome season as usual. And probably the best back-to-back episode run ever with Battle Of The Bastards and Winds Of Winter. I’d have to really go back and rewatch some of the old ones, but for my money, Winds of Winter probably goes down as the best episode ever. The first 25 minutes, with that music, and the wildfire, and Cersei torturing the Shame bitch, all ending in the funniest GIF of all time…

…might in itself have made it the best episode ever. But to then throw the Khaleesi-Tyrion scene in, and Sam in the library, and Arya’s revenge, and the revelation of Jon’s parents*, and Lyanna Mormont’s speech, and KING OF THE NORTH in there. I mean, I could watch KING OF THE NORTH on a loop for eternity. What a way to end the season. So awesome. Goddammit I can’t wait until next season.

*remembers next season is one year away*

*I think they’re gonna say it was Aegon who’s Jon’s dad, thus making him Daenerys’ sister. I know everyone assumes it’s Rhaegar, you know, the whole R+L=J thing. But if that was so widely assumed I feel like they would’ve just said that. I don’t know. I didn’t read the books so this is all just wild stupid speculation.