Want to Be Happier? Steer Clear of Toxic People

I am frequently asked what the key is to getting rid of regret and finding greater happiness in life. Here are my thoughts on one way that is guaranteed to help:

Some people will squeeze the life out of you if you let them. They're the ones who are quick to criticize us and make callous remarks behind our backs. They thrive on pointing out our inadequacies and love to remind us of our flaws. They like to prey on us when we're most vulnerable and kick us when we're down. In addition, they relish the moments when we are vulnerable and take every opportunity to chip away at our self-esteem. Deep down, these are insecure, unhappy folks who have discovered they feel better about themselves when we feel worse. WARNING: steer clear of these toxic people - they reek of negativity and are poster children for regret.

If you want to be happier and have less regret in your life, stay as far away as possible from toxic people. Instead surround yourself with positive, supportive people who will encourage you and believe in you. These are individuals who tend to smile a lot, love to laugh at life, and are always there to cheer you on. They see your potential even when you're not showing it, and they look at every day as an opportunity for you to do something great. They are also the ones who boost your confidence when you're up against a challenge and who lift your spirits when you're down in the dumps or stuck in a rut. They are eternal optimists and die-hard advocates. They've got your back and will always be in your corner.

Hanging around toxic people is a recipe for regret. Get them out of your life and work on keeping positive people in it - you'll feel more energized, motivated, confident, inspired, happy, and alive. Steer clear of toxic people and put yourself in the presence of people who bring out your best.

Who are the toxic people in your life? How do you feel when you're around them?

Many people don't realize they can choose who to spend time with. We keep people around who drain us and try and drag us into their dark space when we could be with people who inspire, energize and support us. Excellent aricle. Short and to the point.

The article was biased. It did not discuss the toxicity of overly positive and optimistic people. For example:

1. The loving, optimistic, supportive friend who keeps doing the same dysfunctional things over and over to themselves again with a giant smile on their face and a love in their heart. While getting absolutely nowhere! Dragging you down into this with them by being such a loving, supportive and positive friend that you cannot speak to them about their flaws. How dare you mention anything non-optimistic! After all I supported YOU.

2. The friend who is so hell bent on optimism and supporting you that they forget to give you any REAL constructive input on yourself or your situation. God forbid anything seem even slightly negative. In turn leading you to believe that you're situation is just fine. when it actually is not!

3. The optimist who is so "optimistic" that they unknowingly condemn any human emotion that isn't perceived as optimistic. In turn being one of the most toxic types of people incapable of appreciating the full gamut of human emotion and its usefulness. If it isn't optimistic? It must be suspect! Or so their obsession with optimism believes.

4. The optimist who is a positive influence on everything and everyone around them. All the while behind the scenes doing this only for their egos sake. In order to attract more "followers". This being hidden even to themselves! by optimism blindness. They eventually lead people down a path of destructive optimistic denial. Where other emotions are forbidden only smiles, support and positivity people! and don't forget to drink the purple kool aid on your way out!

Your are brilliant Doctor, I totally agree with you. I have met actually one person like this had a friendship for over 16 years, we went on cruises together which were a nightmare, i should of gone alone. She was a Registered Nurse, that bragged of being that way, me a stuggling commercial model, she had tons of friends, me i have few. She was overly optimistic, with a huge ego, always me me me cindy everytime we hung out. Getting attention,the spot lite. I could go on. And i know im not a piece of cake, however i got her out of my life, and im just going to focus on my career goals and just hanging with people that have integrity, goals, or just hang with P.h.d's happy people are usually normal and grounded and dont speak too much, just people that are pleasant to hang with, i always believe in this saying birds with the same feather flock together. Anyways, wishing you more success, prosperity, love, and good people around you cuz your awesome....

This was my New Year's Resolution and I think I have been very successful with the exception of one co-worker who I've point-blank explained that I can't "go to the negative" with her anymore. She keeps on trying to the point where we are no longer friendly.

Just the fact that you let her know how you feel about no longer being able to "go to the negative" is a big step. If your co-worker continues to go there, then she is making that choice. Steering clear of toxic people means that you are better off without the unhealthy relationships, and parting ways may not always be a comfortable experience. Hang in there!

While this is excellent advice and encouraging in itself, good luck on finding people like this! They are few and far between! In fact, I don't think I know but one or two and they are always too busy to really associate with anyone on a close personal level. This leaves me just having superficial relationships to keep away from the toxic. Pointers to where one could meet some of these positive people would be a great help! Thanks!

What if the toxic people are not people you CHOOSE like your family? That's the problem for me now. I recognized the difference in my optimistic positive outlook versus my family's negative backbiting and gossiping nature in my teen years and I left home for college. I had to return home once after college to get back on my feet and again I knew the energy drained me emotionally and I could never be happy surrounded daily by my family. More recently my relationship with fiance turned toxic and I chose to return home with my daughter to start over on my own as a single parent to protect my daughter from the negative environment between her father and myself. Now my concern is that I am near completing my degree and taking the 1st step to a new more secure life for myself and my child. Unfortunately being around my family has only exposed her to another form of negativity that I feel I have no control over. Befor my daughter I had many escapes from this situation but now I have to stay home with her for her thus I as well as my daughter are immersed in this growingly toxic environment.

I realize that I'm a toxic person. I'm cutting off my relationships for other people's sake.

I don't know what to do, so I guess I just have to get by myself. At least I have a very positive and healthy relationship with my parents from which both my parents and I mutually benefit, but after them I'll be completely alone.

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