Be still and let your heart break open

Spring has broken out with flora and festivity blossoming everywhere in the city. With its warmer weather, the spring melt has begun in the mountains to the west.

The river is rising.

Living on the river, and hearing of flooding all over the continent, it is easy to get caught up in fixating on water levels rising. I am teaching myself to watch the river flow without immediately connecting to thoughts of ‘how high will it go?’, ‘are we at risk of flooding?’.

It is challenging. To be present to the river flowing without fearing its depths.

Just as it is challenging to be present to life’s inevitable ups and downs without fearing the downs will never turn up again.

Being ‘unemployed’ is and is not as challenging as I imainged. While I’m finding its many upsides I struggle with the concept of ‘doing nothing’.

On the upside, I awaken in the morning feeling refreshed, like I actually had a good night’s sleep without worries and thoughts of tomorrow having interfered with my rest. That feeling that resided at the pit of my stomach, that one that whispered at the edges of my peace of mind, constantly reminding of all I had to do, had not gotten done, is gone.

I am establishing new morning routines — My morning meditation followed by my morning pages. Coffee on the deck listening to the rustle of the trees, the river flowing past and the gentle rumble of the traffic on the bridge.

Eventually, I get to my computer. The need to ‘get ‘er all done’ before 7:15am is gone. I feel… rejuvenated.

I enter my day more leisurely.

I am practising the art of ‘Doing Nothing’.

It ain’t easy.

A confirmed ‘always be doing something’ I struggle to simply sit and be still in this moment right now. As if, watching the river flow, or listening to the trees rustle is not enough.

I am practising.

I am finding the gifts in practice.

Practice takes the pressure off ‘getting it right’, giving me space to be my most human self — perfectly perfect in all my human imperfections.

I am practising the art of ‘Doing Nothing.’

I’m not perfect at it, but I’m perfectly okay with my imperfect practising of the art of Doing Nothing.

8 thoughts on “Be still and let your heart break open”

Do nothing is still a choice .. a “something”. As is sleeping, writing, meditation, morning pages. They are “somethings” you value. The critter may have other things to say, and that is the real journey … teaching the critter about the new reality! Understanding how we find meaning in life can be very important. I used to believe meaning and purpose were synonymous unit I read Emily Esfahani Smith’s book “The Power of Meaning”. Each of us extract meaning from life in our own combination of 4 pillars: purpose, storytelling, belonging and transcendence. I found it a useful read in tuning my new way of embracing life and understanding how I am most whole.

Ah Louise thanks again for your beautiful insights and way with words.
Is there such a thing as nothing, as even stillness is something. It brings to mind two things for me:
Be still and know that I am God.
Prayer unfolds in the stillness of the soul.
I wish you the very best in your retirement or re-direction. May it be fulfilling and joyful. Keep writing. It is a gift of healing for many. 🙂

I haven’t even come anywhere near that spot yet. Still so goal orientated and trying to catch up from decades of putting off projects. I wonder if I will ever sit and be still other than at sunset. I love to take five and appreciate it.

I think sometimes it is the awareness of ‘not being there’ that brings us closer to being there. In your wondering, you are stepping into that space where being there is possible because it is a choice, not chance, that brings you there. Hugs.

PS — I have a hundred of those put off projects — I see them every morning. I pick one to complete that day, smile at the rest and say… soon dear project. soon. 🙂 It seems to appease them! 🙂

Living an ART filled life...“Creativity is a God-given ability to take something ordinary and make it into something special. It is an openness to doing old things new ways…The creative spirit is part of our heritage as children of the One who created all things. And nurturing our creativity is part of our responsibility as stewards of God’s good gifts.” - Emilie Barnes, The Spirit of Loveline