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June 30, 2016

So Tokyo
Mirage Sessions #FE is finally out.
Say what you will upfront about its choice to dive headfirst into idol
culture (or the Japanese entertainment industry at large), but you know
what? Can we just take a minute to
appreciate the fact that it even came out at all? True, it’s not the game anyone expected when
a cross between Shin Megami Tensei and
Fire Emblem was announced -- and
we’ll always be left wondering “what could have been” if the collaboration
truly mashed the two together. On the
other hand, this is a game that’s not only trying to say something on its own
terms, but also something that -- given its style and content -- could’ve
stayed chained up within Japan’s borders.
Let’s count our blessings here.

As of this post -- or this paragraph, specifically
-- I haven’t played Tokyo Mirage Sessions
just yet. I will soon, though. It’s kind of ill-advised, given that I still
need to beat Xenoblade Chronicles X,
and poor Tales of Zestiria is
basically howling at the moon every night.
But I suppose at least a quick look won’t hurt. Besides, we’re still a ways out from Persona 5; if anything’s going to ease
the sting of waiting for THE MOST STYLISH GAME IN HISTORY, then it might as
well be Persona Lite.

With that said, I’ve been thinking about Persona 5 a bit recently -- and not just
getting swept up by the visuals. Or at
least trying not to. But again, we’re dealing with THE MOST
STYLISH GAME IN HISTORY…which also includes a Kamen Rider girl. Be still, my heart.

June 27, 2016

First things first: even though the title has “reboots”
in it, I’m extending the scope of this post to include reboots, remasters, and
reimaginings. Also, I’m tacking on
sequels to the mix, especially if they pick up on a long-dormant canon or
franchise. So…yeah, you just know this’ll be a fun post.

Anyway, Independence
Day: Resurgence has hit theaters -- a little before the actual Independence
Day, but close enough to it. Supposedly,
it’s a continuation of the movie that it shares a name with; the aliens that
ran amok in ’96 are back with a vengeance, and now it’s up to the good guys to
fight them off. Or something. I can’t say I’m in any rush to see it --
which is to say I’d rather give a piggyback ride to a rhinoceros -- and the
reviews out so far suggest that dodging it is probably a good idea. So my
brother asked me if I wanted to go see it, because of course he did. I politely refused, because he was the same
person who thought seeing RoboCop 2014 was
a good idea.

Side note: I was thinking about that movie when I
accidentally scraped my middle finger. I
blame RoboCop ’14 for my minor
injury, and relish the fact that it was my middle
finger.

June 23, 2016

This would normally be the part where I launch into
a paragraphs-long tangent only slightly related to the topic at hand, but I
think I’d better get straight to the point.
I’m taking a hardline stance on this and saying what I’ve had in mind
for years now: video games need more
elegance. Or, if not that, then video games need more elegant characters. Or just elegance in general.

I’ve got no problems admitting Overwatch is the catalyst for this
post. Really, it’s my sincere hope that
it’s the catalyst for changes throughout the industry as well as the gamer
zeitgeist; it’s one thing to beg and plead for change in posts and articles and
videos, but it’s another thing entirely to have it subtly suggested by the
media we consume. That is to say, Overwatch isn’t directly asking for diversity
in games. It’s just doing its best to
prove how freakin’ cool it is when
you have a cast that mixes it up. Given
the choice (and the resources), it’s always best to offer more options and
means of expression. That way, everyone
can be happy.

And you know who makes me happy in this game? Mercy.
Because she’s literally the best.

June 20, 2016

Is this Overwatch? No?
Then E3 2016 gets a 0 out of 10.
Would not watch again.

All right, seriously, though? I have to start by being honest: I didn’t
really care about E3 this year. In the
weeks and months leading up to it, I was basically ambivalent; I couldn’t
summon up the will to care too much about it, knowing that A) all the
information I needed would be plastered online in days’ time, and B) getting
invested in E3 meant sitting through more press conferences. More played-out buzzwords. More non-indicative trailers. More promises of glory that would fail to
deliver. More chomping at the bit to get
past the stuff I don’t care about. More
cringe by the barge-load. The only
positive point, ostensibly, would be the annual showcase of Cuphead footage -- which to be fair almost justifies the whole expo.

So as much as it strains my credibility, I have to
admit that I’m writing this E3 post while skipping out on a majority of the
conferences. Maybe I’ll go back and
watch stuff eventually; I’ve seen a supercut already, but there’s more to
digest. And I will, especially if the
Super Best Friends put up their reactions (and I’d assume that’s available via
some Twitch stream archives). But for
now? I want to do something different
besides run down the major conferences and companies. I want to take time out to talk about E3 --
and in particular, a topic that’s been occupying my brain space for the past
month:

June 16, 2016

The back half of this post’s title is mine, albeit
one that’s a spin on the Aqua Teen Hunger
Force movie. The front half is
actually the name of an upcoming game…and it makes my soul hurt.

Admittedly -- and I know this isn’t fair, but work
with me here -- the mere existence of this game makes my soul hurt. Oh, look, it’s an HD uptick for Dream Drop Distance. I’ll say upfront that I haven’t played that
one or watched a full LP, mostly because of a sore lack of interest. But maybe once this new edition comes out,
I’ll give it a try. The problem is that
if I do, it’d mean getting into the rest of what the package offers. That is to say, it means more nonsense
strapped onto a franchise long since brought to its knees by nonsense, drivel,
and Tetsuya Nomura’s machinations.

It’s like…I remember Kingdom Hearts 1, and I enjoyed it when I first played it (long
after its release, but whatever). It
made me a fan of the franchise. And when
I replayed the game a few years ago, I realized that not only does it hold up,
but it’s also probably one of the strongest entries in the whole thing -- or at
least my favorite of the bunch. Just like the infamous theme
song says, it was simple and clean.
Well, relatively speaking, but it still told a mostly-concise,
mostly-direct story worthy of both the Disney and Final Fantasy names.

But that was a long time ago. And what do we have now? Kingdom
Hearts 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue.
So let’s talk about the trailer before I just go “fuck everything”, wither into a husk, and
drift away on the wind.

June 9, 2016

I’ve resigned myself to a fate of being “behind the
curve”. I’m used to it. People were using Facebook for years (and
turning their backs on it) by the time I even had the thought of making an
account. When everybody was jumping on
the iPod and mp3 player train, I still crammed a whole CD player in my pocket
-- though I’m thankful I had some pretty big pockets on my pants. The only thing I’m really up to date on in
the technology world is video games, and even then I’ve got some pretty big
gaps. How many PC games have I missed by
being strictly console-based? Probably
just under infinity.

I’m no trendsetter. Honestly, I’m not even sure I want to
be. I’m fine with following the examples
(and leads) of others, as long as I can put my own spin on things. In the same sense that a painter won’t throw
away a canvas and palette just because da Vinci already made the Mona Lisa, I
won’t throw away the tools available to me just because the road’s been
well-traveled. Not that I’m comparing
myself to a true Renaissance man, of course; I’m just saying that if there are
tools that’ll let me create, I’ll go ahead and create.

And maybe I’ve been overlooking the biggest tool
of all: YouTube videos.

June 6, 2016

Is it even possible to talk about RWBY without talking about
shipping? I don’t know. Can you talk about any story without talking about shipping?

I don’t know.
I jumped on the RWBY train so
late that I had to solve a Dan Brown-style mystery just to find the
station. There’s a lot of ground I need
to cover in terms of the fanbase, but I’m not 100% sure I’m ready to take the
plunge. There was apparently a
“Lettergate” controversy recently where a scorned employee tried to slander
Rooster Teeth/the production crew, and…well, not a lot of people came out of it
clean. But even without that, there’s
still too much to catch up on. Opinions,
theories, reactions, and who knows how many in-jokes; the most I can hope for
is to enjoy the fan art that pops up on the subreddit. Most of it, I’ve found, focuses on the
relationships between the characters -- well, give or take.

I’m not complaining about it or saying that it’s
wrong. It’s hard to pretend like RWBY doesn’t lend itself to a shipping
bonanza, given that there’s literally a
mini-arc that has all the cute boys and cute girls getting together for a
school dance. But still, you’d think
that with the sheer preponderance of fan art featuring two characters snuggling
up or flirting with each other, the show was actually a romance instead of an
action series. Or…is it a comedy
series? Or…is it a drama?

June 2, 2016

If you’ve spent more than ten minutes reading my
stuff, you might have noticed that
I’m a fan of the ongoing Tales series
of JRPGs. I haven’t played every
installment in the franchise -- it’s a good twenty years old, after all -- but what
I have played has been intensely rewarding.
While I wouldn’t call it the perfect franchise (we don’ttalk about Dawn of the New
World), it’s got such a high level of consistency that you can almost
always depend on them for a good time.
Well, I can, at least. Don’t take
everything I say as a ringing endorsement, or you’ll end up burning my name in
effigy.

Part of what makes the Tales games special is, in my opinion, something that ties back to
something I said offhandedly a while back.
To paraphrase, Tales is a JRPG
series made by people who hate JRPGs.
The genre’s fine as-is, but it’s long since buckled from the strain of
archetypes, clichés, and absurdities thrown out without a care. At times, it feels like the effort starts and
stops with the character designs -- and everything gives way to ludicrous
plotting and/or an impassable wall of angst.
By and large, the Tales games
sidestep that; they tend to do away with the emo ennui that the genre’s
(rightfully) stereotyped with having, and skewers some of the classic tropes by
the halfway point or earlier. To wit: Tales of Symphonia does in about 10
hours what Final Fantasy X did in 30.
And I think X is one of the
good ones.

Why do I bring all this up, given the post’s
title? It’s simple. It’s because if you ask me, RWBY is an anime made by people who hate
anime. Well, in a sense. But I’ll get to that.

This will be the SPOILERS you’re waiting for

This will be the SPOILERS that…uh…door…roses…crap, I’m bad at
remembering song lyrics.