We have a weird bat and ball game here called cricket. It’s like baseball but bigger, better and full of solemn action. The English are responsible for inventing the game, we in Australia like to think we are the standard-bearers of this religion now. And yesterday the top practitioners of this religion were caught and confessed to something akin to slave trading.

This is how serious it is for Australia when its cricket captain and half of the team, and, possibly, the coach were busted for ball-tampering against South Africa in Cape Town yesterday.