There’s no activity that can’t be improved with a little
competition. Down South, where I live, sporting activities are
eschewed all summer. Instead we channel our competitive impulses
into more genteel, less sweaty pursuits, sometimes involving
fabulous straw hats!

Each summer before the mosquitos start to flourish, my husband
and I host a garden party and Deviled Egg Pageant. The entrants,
though not all Southern, exemplify the seersucker-shrouded
bloodlust that makes summer in the South both delicious and
dramatic.

As long as the weather and space permit, a Deviled Egg Pageant
allows you to entertain dozens of friends and neighbors while
preparing little more than a plate of ham, perhaps, and a pound
cake. Your kitchen remains cool and spotless while the guests
enthusiastically do the hard work.

The keys to a successful pageant are clear rules and a dress
code to set the tone. (Here is a
Google Doc of our house rules; take what you like and leave the
rest.)

If you don’t have the space or inclination to host such a
contest, preparing pageant-worthy deviled eggs is a sure way to
“win” whatever parties or picnics you may attend in the summer.
Here are some lessons from our pageant kings and queens.

The Egg Came
First

No matter what kind of nuanced flavor profile or teetering tower
of garnish you plan to construct, a good deviled egg begins with a
well cooked chicken egg.

Oh, you were thinking of a goose, duck or quail egg? I can’t
stop you, though I’d like to try. The chicken egg is just the right
size for deviling. It is a satisfying snack for one but just big
enough to share.

For deviling, you want the egg white rather firm, but not chewy.
It must immediately please the palate and provide a sound textural
platform for the entire recipe. The yolk should be very fully
cooked, even dry, since you’ll be emulsifying it in some other
fats. “Hard boiled” is misleading; it would be best if you didn’t
let the egg “boil” at all.

You probably have Harold McGee’s
helpful volume on your cookbook shelf. If so, turn to “Hard
Cooked Eggs.” I can offer no better advice than his, but I can
summarize: Use week-old eggs, having stored them on their sides to
ensure symmetry. Fill the pot all the way up. Start the eggs in
cool water. Bring the water to 190F, and hold it there for 15
minutes. Then immediately transfer the eggs to a bowl of ice
water.

Note: You must watch the pot and/or thermometer in order to
ensure you don’t overcook. With a full pot, this is interminable.
Pass the time by listening to The Splendid
Table.

Filling and
Flavoring

The deviled egg filling that we have come to consider
traditional is egg yolks mashed with (store-bought) mayonnaise.
This is justifiably popular because it is delicious. In fact, the
filling is itself a sort of mayonnaise – the yolk pulverized or
beaten then suspended in whipped oil. Hmm, that should sound tasty,
but it doesn’t! If using jarred mayonnaise, be aware that the
egginess may be amplified. If that is distasteful to you, consider
a vegan mayonnaise that will showcase the more delicate flavors of
your gently hard-cooked yolk, rather than what to you tastes like a
sulfurous, vinegary gloop.

Don’t feel bound to a recipe—you’ll get the ratios right through
titration. Start by mashing 5/6 or 10/12 of your yolks thoroughly
by hand. Do not put them in a food processor as this will certainly
lead to runny filling. A wire
dough blender is a great tool for this. Add your mayonnaise a
bit at a time. Your reserved egg yolks are there so you can correct
your work if necessary.

There are alternatives to mayonnaise, and you should experiment
with them. Heavy cream, sour cream and creme fraiche are all
options—make sure you use them near room temperature, and thicken
them a bit by beating briefly with a whisk to incorporate air. A
runny filling dishonors your galant egg white.

Mustard is popularly used as a deviled egg flavoring. What a
shame! Such a custom is likely to originate from the desire to
brighten the yellow color of the filling. But, mustard also
amplifies the pungency of acetic or citric acid the mayonnaise,
rather than contributing complimentary flavors.

Minced fines
herbes or homemade “green
mayonnaise” with pounded basil, chive, dill, tarragon or
watercress is a lovely way to add both craft and flavor to the egg
at this stage, but the resulting greenish paste will demand
cosmetic intervention when served. Please, please resist the urge
to do a Dr. Seuss thing.

The most popular flavorings among our pageant entrants have been
sriracha and curry. Wasabi always makes an appearance, as do
jalapenos. Bold spices certainly partner well with egg, as any
chilaquiles-lover knows. Steer clear of garlic, though—that’s an
exception.

Are you fancy? Parlez-vous francais? Then perhaps you would like
to fill your egg whites with a savory sabayon or mousse! I’m not
going to get into that right now, but you should definitely
consider it, and maybe we’ll talk later.

Have you ever considered a sweet deviled egg? Of course you
should – egg is the unctuous heart of so many desserts. Replace
mayonnaise with whipped, sweetened Neufchatel or chevre, flavor
with vanilla, and garnish with a cinnamon crouton or crumbled
graham crackers.

Adding Texture,
Inside and Out

Even if the egg is cooked perfectly, with a firm yet delicate
white, and an airy yet rich filling, the deviled egg is
unfortunately rather soft and homogenous. Thoughtful non-egg
additions can add textural and visual interest. They encourage
bites and chewing rather than the slithery swallow of
a too-fat oyster.

Bacon or other cured meats work naturally, especially along with
herbs like chervil and chive. Finely diced potato, onion or apple,
slowly poached or confited, can be incorporated. Beet chips,
commercially fried or baked at home, are wonderful on top of a
curry-flavored filling. One of our pageant’s perennial superstars
this year entered a deviled egg with a cream-based, zest-brightened
filling topped with good ol’ French Fried Onions, merging haute
technique and common groceries into an elegant Alsatian
delight.

The Right
Drink

If you’re tired of reading, feel free to stop after I say: Iced
Tea. Or stick with me: make it strong and very sweet. Mix it with
lemonade, vodka or both. Alongside a wasabi-and-sesame deviled egg
(wrapped in nori, nigiri-style, as one of this year’s pageant stars
did), make a Green Tea Arnold Palmer.

Because of eggs’ traditional home on the breakfast plate, and
because wine pairs just adequately (not delightfully) with eggs,
breakfast offers many inspirations. How about maple-infused iced
coffee spiked with bourbon and served with that
guanciale-studded egg? Instead of coffee, maybe juice—perhaps a
Greyhound?
Wouldn’t that be nice alongside a chorizo-and-saffron egg instead
of Sangria?

Punches and cups are festive and offer chances to involve more
flavors to complement more complicated egg recipes. Pimms No. 1 Cup
practically flooded last year’s pageant. The Alsatian beauty
mentioned above came with a Riesling-Rosemary-Plum Punch.
Seriously, I have such amazing friends! A shandy is great with
spicy or seafood-topped eggs. Juleps are perfect if you’re feeling
deliriously Southern, though a punch made of dry white wine,
sherry, watercress and tonic water is more subtle and will allow
you to enjoy the party longer.

Finally, don’t forget to bring your own platter or a footed
plate. Those dimpled platters are terrific because they prevent the
eggs from sliding around, but a bed of shredded lettuce or carrots
will work fine.

K. Emerson Beyer, environmentalist and gadabout, lives with his
husband, dog
and cat in Durham, N.C. All four of them share Asperger’s-level
concern with food, though only two of them bother helping out in
the kitchen. Emerson half-heartedly retweets miscellany as @patebrisee.