Act 2, Part 2: To the Beach, with Kitties. Where our hero slays the evil spammers with a dragoon of sardonic wit.

Epilogue: Upon receiving the last email, the spammer called the phone number provided, which is actually the direct line to the Westboro Baptist Church. After talking with Fred Phelps for 5 minutes, the evil spammer had a revelation, understanding how annoying his spamming-ways were, vowing to stop and follow his dream of owning a floral shop/winery combo called ‘ValenVines’.

Our hero Mike went on the have a successful career in reverse spamming (the hypocrisy of posting the direct line to WBC is not beyond him). Unable to drive manual cars left-handed, he never made it on ‘Top Gear’, nor did the Cleveland Browns ever win a SuperBowl…in his lifetime.

Mike retired from writing at the age of 32, and perished in a freak gardening accident the following year. He is survived by his beloved Co-habitant, Charlize Theron, Marti, and his cat, Thief.

This is amazing, not only because it involves the greatness that is Left Hand Milk Stout and avenging the heinousness that is the WBC (which is like the best combo platter there is), but also because it involves swords and dragons and the kids really into Game of Thrones these days.

When does ValenVines open? Because I could really use some of that in my life.

Hilarious. I’ve tried the reverse spamming technique a few times, especially with our friends trying to get the millions out of Nigeria – with no success. They apparently see through my spam the spammer techniques and don’t respond. How do they ever expect to get any fake money if they can’t even respond to an inquiry?

Solid work Mike, this is one of my favorite posts of yours! By the way, when will I have the pleasure of sharing a Milk Stout with you (or anything by Left Hand, or Breckenridge for that matter)? Hopefully sooner than later.

Hi Roam About Mike. I just watched a feature on Discovery channel on …. Japanese toilets! haha. And remembered your earlier post. I couldn’t stop giggling all throughout the show. Yup, your post is really very memorable. Cheers.

It was informative but you know – how serious can you be when you’re discussing blow drying the bottom and adjusting the angle of the “stream” so as to … you know… hit the right uhmm “target”. heehee.
You’ve got to hand it to the people being interviewed. I guess toiletmaking in Japan is serious business. Extremely serious looks while explaining the different “options” for toilets. *lol*