Sunday, December 20, 2009

I see that you have posted the same ad at least six times on craigslist in the past month for the FEMALE BUST (most recently http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/1516885250.html). I was just wondering, do you ever think "Maybe I am asking too much for it" or "Maybe nobody wants the ridiculous thing" or "Maybe I don't use the word 'bust' correctly"?

Just wondering.

Response
maybe this has NOTHING to do with you.maybe you should go f..yourself.maybe...

I think it sounds like a great deal but I am just wondering how I can be sure that, other than not being able to perform the sole task for which it was designed (and presumably purchased), it is in "good condition"? I guess I can assume that the interior is relatively dust free, but can you send me some proof of its condition? Maybe a photo of it quietly taking up some space which could otherwise be filled with something which has a use?

Friday, December 18, 2009

In your ad you seem to be making fun of someone who is selling rugs. You say:

"My goodness.....I have not seen such ugly rugs since.....well.....the last time you posted them,......yesterday. Why is it the people who post most frequently are the one's with the ugliest, most over-priced stuff to sell? Tell you what....you pay me $50 and I will pick up these rugs and deliver them to the dump......K? BTW........what do you think......posting it in "household" one day and "furniture" the next is going to make your ugly rugs sell any quicker. There is a section for your rugs.....it is called "FREE" "

I don't think that it is right to make fun of strangers just because YOU happen to think that what they are selling is ridiculous. What kind of person does that????

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Hi,
I saw your ad on craigslist for the 12 Drinking glasses - never used http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/1503216559.html. They look super great but I just have one question: What the heck is all over your hands that you made a "never used" glass that filthy while trying to take a photo of it? Are you a purveyor of unpackaged butter?

Anyway I can't wait to take that first golden brown sip of water. Are they still available?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I saw your ad on craigslist for the 10120 pcs baking set http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/mss/hsh/1509390674.html. I think that $15 is a super price for that many baking set pieces that's for sure, but the problem is that I only have $10 dollars to spend on baking set pieces right now so I was wondering of you would consider breaking up the set.

Maybe I could get just a few thousand pieces for my $10? I would really appreciate it. Also, I am probably not as avid a baker as you are as I really can't imagine needing more than 5 or 6 thousands baking set pieces anyway (except around Christmas I guess). Anyway let me know.

Thanks,

Since sending this email, the seller has edited the title of their craiglist post. It was funnier before they added the brackets. -ed

Monday, December 14, 2009

Hello there,
I saw your ad on craigslist for the New Delonghi 4 Slice Toaster http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/1509590651.html .
You say that you got it as a gift and you are selling it just because "its not working properly". Obviously I am interested, if it is a real Delonghi for only 8 bucks. I am not stupid enough to not buy a toaster just because it doesn't work.

Now I am no toaster genius or nothing but do you think that it may work better if you put the stuff inside the toaster instead of just resting it on that thing on the top. Just asking.

Anyway let me know if it is still available. Also, I was wondering if you would be willing to trade for something of mine that doesn't work... my husband maybe??? BAHAHAHA. Just kidding. I do have a microwave in similar condition (meaning when I rest crap on top of it is doesn't get hot) let me know if you will consider a trade.

Will you be informing the people who purchased your parents' house that I will be coming to pick them up or will I have to explain the situation?

Cheers,

ResponseHi ,

We already did sell the house and just have the stove covers in storage at their office. If you are interested, they can be picked up anytime at XXXXX, Unit 8. The office is open Mon-Fri 11:00am-6pm and on Sat 10am-2pm. But please confirm a day and time that would work for you so I can inform someone to have it ready at reception.

Thank you.

FOCLWhy did you want to hide the stove when you were selling the house. Is it a fire hazard?

ResponseThe stove wasn't a fire hazard, my mom just liked to cover the burners for decoration.

FOCLIf your mother is such a fan of covering burners, why would she not have already owned a set? You claimed these were ONLY used for the sale of the house...

****CRAIGSLIST CONTENT FILTER ALERT****Some text has been removed from this message. Craig's List would like to remind you of our policy regarding morally questionably material. Further violation of Craig's List policy could result in temporary or permanent restrictions regarding your usage of Craigslist.

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the PANCAKE MAKER http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/yrk/hsh/1482513162.html . In the ad you say that I could "COOK BOTH SIDE WITH JUST A FLIP OF THE PAN". That is amazing. I didn't know that the technology existed to be able to cook both sides of a pancake just by flipping something over. I wonder if there is a way to do that by flipping something over that is a little lighter than a pan, like maybe something the weight of a pancake? I guess that is too much to ask for I should just enjoy this space aged technology.

Something doesn't add up to me. Are you saying that you drank half of what there was and now it is 3/4 full? If that is the case then the bottle was 3/2 full when you got it and I think that seems a little too good to be true. But MAYBE you meant that you drank half a bottle and now it is 3/4 full in which case the bottle was only 5/4 full when you got it and that I could believe if you purchased it at a really good store. So, which is it?

PS: Did it really take you 19.5 or 13 ounces of vodka to realize that you didn't like it?

I saw your ad on craigslist for the CHIMNEY CAP http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/1475229761.html . You describe it as being in "mint condition". Now I am no expert on "mint condition" but I usually picture things in "mint condition" as having a little bit less feces on them. Do you know something about "mint condition" that I don't?

Cheers,

Response

Ha, ha, That's a good joke! If you are interested in the chimney cap, I will wash it off for you.

Monday, November 23, 2009

I saw your ad on craigslist for the Utensil case http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/yrk/hsh/1475167354.html . I am not being hyperbolic when I say that that is the most useful thing I have ever seen. Think about it... as you mentioned it is "great for bring the utensils camping", I mean TOTALLY! Sometimes when I go camping I just put my utensils in a bag inside a backpack or something and then I spend the whole evening trying to sort and display them. But with this they would ALREADY be sorted and displayed. I just have to ensure that I have one hand free the whole time I am hiking to the campsites so I can carry the briefcase with my forks. SO CONVENIENT!

Just to make sure everything is on the up and up though, would you mind displaying a few of your own utensils in it so I can see how it works. If you could take the picture in a camping environment that would be a bonus, because then I can imagine it as it will be used.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Clearly I am not trying to say anything about locusts, plants or Egypt! (Gave me a good chuckle, though.) I am using the modern meaning of “a rich mine or pocket of ore” or, to those reading, ‘a wealth of baskets’.

Of course, the word bonanza is the English interpretation/translation from the original biblical language (Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek – depending on the expert and version consulted) which, in all likelihood, was not exactly the word ‘bonanza’. It was a play on words and not meant to be taken so seriously or literally. Hope that clarifies…

Monday, November 16, 2009

I saw your ad on craig's list for the "Basket Bonanza" http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/1444789213.html . I noticed that you are selling SIX baskets! I don't think that you understand the meaning of the word "bonanza". Let me show you its first use which was in the bible, Exodus:10"Then The Lord said to Moses, 'Stretch out your hand over the land of Egypt for the locust bonanza, that they may come upon the land of Egypt, and eat every plant in the land, all that the hail has left.'"

Are you somehow trying to say that SIX locusts could eat every plant in Egypt??? That is ridiculous.

I think I would be willing to pay a little more (maybe 30 cents each) if you would. Seeing as I would have to come and pick them up.

Response

STOP EMAILING HERE. YOU'RE NOT FUNNY! I HAVE ADDED YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO MY JUNK LIST. NEXT EMAIL I WILL REPORT YOU TO CRAIGSLIST! I WILL NOT ANSWER OR READ ANYMORE EMAILS FROM YOU!

FOCL

Hi ,

Not even 5 minutes ago you emailed me saying "Very funny. Haha" and now after one innocent reply I get an ALL CAPS attack. How fickle. Anyway here are the logical flaws in your response:

A) As I mentioned you already said I was funny, so you can't take that back2) Craig's List can not stop me from emailing you at your own addressSecondly) How will you report me to Craig's List if you will not even be reading my emails?

It is a shame you will not read this.

This cheese is....... easily enraged apparently.

Cheers.PS: Please send me your address so I can come pick up the items.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the BAR and EAT serving dishes BNIB http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/1450460881.html . I was wondering if you had any other words available. You see I am an elementary school teacher and just started a unit on bats. I was hoping that I could serve my class some snacks in bowls that say "BAT ERA". Let me know if you know where I can get such items.

Thanks,

Response

Hi,

Sorry, only have BAR and EAT - I have many, so you could spell longer words if you wanted (consisting of A, B, E, R, and T, of course).

ResponseNo, I don't know if my blinds are technically "venetian". I'm just selling them because I'm moving away.

Thanks,

FOCLYou poke him in the eye!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Two Sided Blanket http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/bra/hsh/1318473696.html . I am very interested in this. So many times it happens that I go buy a blanket at a reputable blanket store or emporium and then when I get home: BAM, it's a one sided blanket! I wouldn't mind too much but I can never figure out if they have given me the top or the bottom. Anyhoo, could you provide me with some sort of proof that this blanket does indeed have two sides before I buy it?

Our analysis computer system (known as Fortran C++) has assessed that the Coefficient of Desirability (or CD) for the item(s) you have posted is below the minimum cutoff value. Each posting is analyzed by a network Quark Bound State Computer (QBSC) and the CD score is returned as a measure of the probability that someone will want to purchase the item(s). The minimum value required is 5000, your posting has received a CD score of... 0.000. Please remove your posting.

NOTE: It is possible that our system has made this judgement in error. If you think that this is the case please send a written justification (of no less than 500 words) to this address.

Thanks you for you cooperation,Customer Service and Quantum Computing Department Craigslist Canada.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I saw your posting on craig's list saying that you "Need expert in paranormal extermination" http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/for/1287332964.html . First thing Gus is I just want you to relax, because I can certainly help you out. First of all we need to discuss the difference between myth and reality here.

Your psychic has not given you good advice regarding the vanilla scented candles. Yes that can lure it outside, but that particular scent enzyme will make it harder to catch (marked increase in wispiness). What you should be using is a fruit based scented candle. The mirrors and lead-based mason jars you are using to trap it should be sufficient to trap it for up to 6 hours.

You mentioned that you are thinking of using a proton extrapolator with low frequency sound waves. Although this should work, you have said that you are thinking about making one yourself??? Do not do this, this should be left to the experts. What I propose to do is to use a fast fourier transform coupled with a reblochon to deal with this. What I need you to do is to put on clothing that consists of complementary colors, wash your hands with water and rice and stand by. This little critter can't hurt you. If you then send me your address, I will drive by and affect the fast fourier transform. You should know when this has happened. I will know right away if the reblochon holds. In the mean time just relax and stay away from things made of leather. Let me know if you have any other questions.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I saw your ad on craigslist for the shower chair for disabled or injured http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/for/1281704208.html . In your ad you say "I have a used aluminum shower chair which I've been using due to a broken leg." Are you nuts? The last thing a disabled or injured person should be using is a chair with a broken leg. Especially in the shower.

ResponseI believe the reason shower chairs were invented was for this purpose. I think a disabled person would rather sit and wash themselves rather than stand. Wouldn't you agree? The medical experts seem to agree with me, if they didn't they probably wouldn't have recommended one. I don't see your reasoning and I don't want to. Unless your interested in purchasing the product please don't message me retardedness.Thanks.

FOCLI don't deny that disabled people should be using a chair in the shower. It is just that (by your own admission) you are selling one with a broken leg.

That is what a lot of Craig's List people don't understand: If you buy something and then use it for a while (say 30ish years) it increases in value by about 25%. People are dumb.PS: Do you wipe your bum in the kitchen or do you microwave in the bathroom?

Friday, July 24, 2009

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the Large Crayon #1 Teacher Coin Holder http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/yrk/for/1285119170.html . I am very interested in procuring a new Large Crayon #1 Teacher Coin Holder but I have extremely high quality standards. On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate this particular Large Crayon #1 Teacher Coin Holder? Where 1 is the worst Large Crayon #1 Teacher Coin Holder you have ever seen, 10 is the unachievable PERFECT Large Crayon #1 Teacher Coin Holder of which we all dream, and 5 is just a standard Large Crayon #1 Teacher Coin Holder that you see all over town.

Thanks,

ResponseHi,

The coin holder is really cute and great quality. I purchased it for a friend when she but I ended up getting together with a group and buying her a bigger gift.

Let me know if you are interested in seeing it.

Thanks

FOCL1-10???

Also, you purchased it for a friend when she.... what?

ResponseSorry... when she started teaching last fall. I would say for a coin holder it is a ten. I would buy it again if I had too.

FOCLIf you would buy it again for $15 then we have a deal. I will cover the round trip shipping.

ResponseSorry, but it is pick up only. Where do you live?

Thanks

FOCLWell how about this? Since you offered to sell it to me for $10 and also agreed to buy it for $15 why don't you send me the $5 you owe me and then once I have received the payment I will arrange for it to remain at your house.

ResponseYou have alot of time on your hands. Here is a suggestion GET A LIFE!!!

Friday, June 5, 2009

I saw your ad on craigslist for the Black Capped Chickapee Figurine & Eagle Figurine for sale for $2 for the lot http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/mss/hsh/1186278333.html . You mentioned that if I "want more infor or pics" I could email you. That is great because I am not a sucker and I am not about to fork over my hard earned money (and I assure you I work VERY hard for my money) after seeing just 3 photos and a certificate. Please send me:

A close up photos of the eagle's talonsBelow wing photos of the eagle's right and also left wingTwo photos (one front and one back) of the Black Capped Chickapee's flowery perchA scan of the certificate (both sides), andA birds-eye-view photo of each bird's eyes.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the CLOCK MADE FROM TRUNK OF TREE. You mention that it is "a wonderful conversation piece". At first I thought, "Ya of course it is" then I thought some more and realized that the only conversation I could think of would go like this:

Guest: Hey is that clock made from trunk of tree?Me: Yes.Awkward silence...

If that is it I am not sure I would call it "a wonderful conversation piece". Could you please send me a transcript from a conversation which has progressed a little further than that?

ResponseNot sure what you mean. I am selling a saddle and don't know what hosting a BDSM is. I think that you are replying to the wrong add.

TC

FOCLOK I get it (WINK!). You have no idea that BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism... me either (DOUBLE WINK!). I bet that a "breast collar - horse size" is for a horse and "size: 16 wide tree" isn't a reference to my junk! Anyway I like the teasing... let's get together and have an "innocent" exchange of the articles you are selling on craig's list, shall we??

ResponseSorry to disappoint but this REALLY is a saddle for a horse - you know, 4 legs, mane and tail - just as shown in the picture on the ad. But thanks for teaching me what BDSM means, you learn something new everyday.

Monday, June 1, 2009

YO!I saw your ad on Craigslist for the Typodont for sale http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/for/1184252644.html . That typodont is SICK. I have never seen such a sick typodont. I think that it is obvious that a typodont like that is going to come with an "attachment for corner of table" but I was just wondering what items are included in the "etc"?

Thanks,

Response"etc" meaning the attachment and typodont come apart and there are some bolts that hold it together... Interested?

Sellerthanks for email.sorry it is $2. this will be part of my transportation fee.pls consider it with $2. thanks

FOCLWell the subway is $2.75 so why don't I come pick them up and you will be up 75 cents and I will be up 3 screwdrivers and nobody gets screwed (except all those SCREWS!! LOL).

Selleri am sorry but i got another email from someone who wants this with $2.so, i will sell this person.sorry about that.

take care

FOCL$2.01

Sellerok,,,,,, fair enough. $2.01can i see you tomorrow 10am-530pm in downtown?what time is good for u?

FOCLWait a minute... I'm no rocket surgeon but I have been thinking a little bit and it seems a little fishy that you posted this ad 3 days ago and got no offers and then 5 mins after we started the communicate you received an offer for the full asking price??? Could you please forward me the offer which you received? Thanks.

Sellerok. if u say so, i dont wanna sell such a picky person.sorry about that.i got emails from other persons. so i decided to talk to them.i decided not to sell u.

sorry , but good night

FOCLOK OK.

I guess I should not have kicked a gift horse in the mouth. $2.01, let's do it.Please.

Sellerno no. sorry. but i have decided. i dont wanna make trouble with strangers.moreover, i am not in a hurry to sell it.so, i will contact other person.sorry about that.take care.

mintsalesThey are various players , They are not star cardsIf there is a certain player you need who is a better player i likely have lots of that player for saleThese cards at one half cent per card- are just common players

FOCLOK I will take one. Give me Kimbi Daniels from his 1990-91 season with the Flyers. Should I send a cheque? Thanks!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the Bong For Sale. You mention that it was "only used once". If you think that someone is going to pay 220 bucks for your used bong I think it has been used more than once.

Bong-SellerIt has only been used once and was cleaned with isopropyl, and looks brand new, what you saw in the pictures was fingerprints on the glass. Are you interested in buying this bong?

FOCLYou didn't post photos... someone has been hitting that bong more than "only once" I guess Mr. Forgetful.

FOCLIn your ad you say "Worth $345, check any store in Toronto". I just checked in a store in Toronto and they had no idea how much you bong is worth. Should I check any specific stores?

Bong-SellerIf you know anything about bongs, you know RooR is one of the best bongs on the market. Google it, or go to Jupiter(downtown) or THC(downtown) and ask them how much a beaker bottom RooR is...the price will be double what I am asking. $220 for a RooR is an extremely low price.If you want to make me an offer, let me know.

FOCLhey I just called Jupiter they seem to agree with that price range. But if I know you as well as I think I do, you will settle for a plate of microwaved nachos instead of money... right Mr Munchie?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I saw your ad on Craig's List for the ADORABLE WATERFRONT HOME (in upstate New York) http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/for/1186392157.html . I have been looking for a place in that area for a while but have found it hard to find anything. Do you think that there is not much for sale or that people are just stupid and don't know that the obvious place to sell a house in Parma NY is in the General For Sale section of Craig's List Toronto, Canada?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I saw your posting on Craig's List reading "Large Asian Teapot" http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/hsh/1169306530.html . As a Large-Asian-Canadian I am outraged that you would make a joke like that in a public forum. I thought that referring to L.A.s as "teapots" ended in the 50s but I guess I was wrong!

You should be ashamed.

PS: I guess that there is a small chance that you are actually just selling a teapot and are ignorant to the meaning of the term you have used. If this is the case please just post an apology on Craig's List and there will be no hard feelings.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Hi There,I saw your ad on craigslist for the toaster for sale http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/mss/hsh/1169675958.html . Obviously when I saw it I became very excited, a toaster like that could easily go for 20-25% more than your asking price. Then I thought "is this too good to be true?". Maybe so. Could you please toast a few slices of bread in the toaster and then send me a couple of photos of the toast so that I know it works?

Thanks,Gabe

PS: Do NOT just photoshop deep rich golden brown colouring onto a photo of un-toasted bread. I will know.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I saw on Craig's List that you are interested in finding a pug breeder http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/for/1164407857.html . I just want to warn you that I have looked around a lot in this city and it seems like every pug breeder only has defective short little fat dogs with tiny legs and smashed-in faces. I don't know who these people think they are fooling.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I saw your ad on craigslist for the "Big Vase" http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/for/1157481114.html . I was just wondering if you could provide me with some proof that you have not just built a miniature house to enclose a small vase, thus making it appear to be a BIG vase? Perhaps you could take a photo of it next to something which would be harder to counterfeit.

I guess the easiest thing to do would be to try to get a photo of the vase next to a celebrity of known size. That would be very hard to counterfeit. It seems as though you are in the Toronto, Canada region so perhaps Celine Dion or Bryan Adams would be best.

Cheers,

Response

if u could wait until next week we could bring in Bruce Willis or Clint Eastwood... lets us know so i can dismantle my miniture house, thx.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I saw your ad on Craigslist for the cake towels for sale http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/for/1148916993.html . I just want to be clear on what I will be receiving. You see I have quite a bit of cake on me right now and I ordered some cake towels online. The problem is that these were towels made out of cake not towels for removing cake. I tried to do what I could with them but they just made the problem worse. So as long as these are traditional cake REMOVAL towels I am interested, but I can't handle any more cake on me right now, I JUST CAN'T HANDLE THAT!

Responsehi.I am psychic and do old time tea cup reading.each tea cup is different..you don't say anything to me and I read you and your cup..I do have over 25 years experience.it won't make sense by telling what is in the cup since it is not your,,hope that makes sense.What ever is going on with you it will show in your cup..the reading session is very private and one on one..hope this helps..cheers

FOCLCan you do the same thing by looking at other table scraps?

Responsehi.No I do not read table scraps..I just read loose tea leafs..Not A Tea Bag..hope this helpcheers