In Afghanistan, he wants to go but he wants to stay. He's surging and withdrawing simultaneously. He's leaving fewer troops than are needed for a counterinsurgency strategy and more troops than are needed for a counterterrorism strategy — and he seems to want both strategies at the same time. Our work is done but we have to still be there. Our work isn't done but we can go.

On Libya, President Barack Obama wants to lead from behind. He's engaging in hostilities against Gadhafi while telling Congress he's not engaging in hostilities against Gadhafi.

On the budget, he wants to cut spending and increase spending. On the environment, he wants to increase energy production but is reluctant to drill. On health care, he wants to get everybody covered but will not press for a universal system. On Wall Street, he assails fat cats, but at cocktail parties, he wants to collect some of their fat for his campaign.

On politics, he likes to be friends with the other side but bash 'em at the same time. For others, bipartisanship means transcending their own prior political identities. For Obama, it means that he participates in all political identities. He does not seem deeply affiliated with any side except his own.

He was elected on the idea of bold change, but now — except for the capture of Osama and his drone campaign in Pakistan and Yemen — he plays it safe. He shirks politics as usual but gets all twisted up in politics.

The man who was able to beat the Clintons in 2008 because the country wanted a break from Clintonian euphemism and casuistry is now breaking creative new ground in euphemism and casuistry.

Obama is "evolving" on the issue of gay marriage, which, as any girl will tell you, is the first sign of a commitment-phobe.

Maybe, given all his economic and war woes as he heads into 2012, Obama fears the disapproval of the homophobic elements within his own party. But he has tried to explain his reluctance on gay marriage as an expression of his Christianity, even though he rarely goes to church and is the picture of a secular humanist.

While picking up more than $750,000 from 600 guests at a gay and lesbian fundraising gala in Manhattan on Thursday night, the president declared, "I believe that gay couples deserve the same legal rights as every other couple in this country," even as he held to his position that the issue should be left to the states to decide.

With each equivocation, the man in the Oval Office shields his identity and cloaks who the real Barack Obama is.

He should draw inspiration from the gay community: One thing gays have to do, after all, is declare who they are at all costs.