How Homophobia Hurts Everyone

First off, before I start I would like to point you all to a fantastic entry by Gato on the problem with the redefining of homophobia.

Let’s face it, homophobia can be really damaging for LGBT youths and even for people who identify as straight. Intolerance hurts everyone. Even if you think you are right in terms of using religion. To tell someone that you don’t accept a part of them means so much more to that person, it means you don’t accept them.

There has been a lot of homophobic bullying in the world and it leads to a lot of tragedy. Intolerance accounts for the reason so many LGBT youths are homeless and it is a leading cause as to why LGBT youths have one of the highest rates of suicide. The Suicide Prevention Resource Center synthesized these studies and estimated that between 30 and 40% of LGBT youth, depending on age and sex groups, have attempted suicide. That is an alarmingly high amount of youths considering that the rate in the general population is around 1-2%.

Even such phrases as, “That’s so gay!” are proven to be harmful towards LGBT youths. Just recently there was a study on the effects of the phrase conducted by the University of Michigan. Those who heard it more frequently were more likely to report feelings of isolation, as well as negative health symptoms, such as headaches, poor appetite, or eating problems.

Study author Michael Woodford, assistant professor of social work at U-M, describes the results:

“Given the nature of gay-lesbian-bisexual stigma, sexual minority students could already perceive themselves to be excluded on campus and hearing “that’s so gay” may elevate such perceptions. “That’s so gay” conveys that there is something wrong with being gay. And, hearing such messages about one’s self can cause stress, which can manifest in headaches and other health concerns.”

Clearly even simple phrases can be so hurtful. I ask you, please think before you speak. Or type as is the case on BZPower.

Homophobia Hurts All of Us

(The following list has been adapted from Warren J. Blumenfeld, ed. Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price.)

Within the numerous forms of oppression, members of the target group (minority groups) are oppressed, while on some level members of the dominant group are hurt. Although the effects of the oppression differ qualitatively for specific target and dominant groups, in the end everyone loses.

1. Homophobia locks all people into rigid gender roles that inhibit creativity and self-expression.

2. Homophobia compromises the integrity of heterosexual people by pressuring them to treat others badly, actions that go against our basic humanity.

3. Homophobia limits our ability to form close relationships with members of one’s own sex.

4. Homophobia generally limits communications with a significant portion of the population and, more specifically, limits family relationships.

5. Homophobia prevents some lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people from developing an honest self-identity, and adds to the pressure to marry and/or have children, which places undue stress on themselves and their families.

6. Homophobia results in the elimination of any discussion of the lives and sexuality of LGBT people in the curriculum, keeping important information from all students.

7. Homophobia can be used to stigmatize, silence, and, on occasion, target people who are perceived or defined by others as lesbian or gay, but who are, in actuality, heterosexual.

8. Homophobia prevents heterosexuals from accepting the benefits and gifts offered by LGBT people: theoretical insights, social and spiritual visions, contributions in the arts and culture, to religion, to family life, indeed, to all parts of society.

11. Homophobia inhibits appreciation of other types of diversity, making it unsafe for everyone because each person has unique traits not considered mainstream or dominant. Therefore, we are all hurt when any one of us is disrespected.

(End list, back to Kohaku’s ranting.)

Why did I choose to add this list? Honestly, in its current form, I can’t really see a way to improve upon this list. It shows the ways that homophobia hurts everyone. It hurts me, it hurts you, it hurts your best friend. It just plain hurts.

Now, I’m going to tell a bit of a story that I haven’t told anyone. Ever. I’ll keep it short and to the point.

When I was in middle and high school, I was bullied. I was bullied all the time, I was called derogatory names and in some cases physically assaulted. At the time I honestly didn’t know why I had been singled out. I didn’t even know what being gay was. I lost a lot of innocence back then and it continued for years. I hated school and I honestly hated life. I thought about suicide plenty of times. And came close to attempting it.

However as time went on I gained two important friends on BZPower, Alku and Kinali. How important were these friends? Honestly, they helped me keep things together more than they know. Even after I became staff here they helped me keep it together. If it weren’t for them and their support I might not be here. Those two friends gave me some much needed support and through every experience with them we have grown as people and as friends.

Homophobia in any sense hurts us all. So please think before you speak.

Think about it.

“How will this hurt people around me?”

“How will this hurt myself?”

“How would I feel if I was in their shoes?”

Please, think about how the words you say can hurt others. Think about your beliefs and how they can be hurtful. Think about it.

On this site, this whole situation is being blown out of proportion. I never saw anyone saying "ooh gato i haet you" in his blog entry. Only people respectfully stating their opinions and getting attacked for it. Ironically the ones promoting peace disrupt it the most.

On this site, this whole situation is being blown out of proportion. I never saw anyone saying "ooh gato i haet you" in his blog entry. Only people respectfully stating their opinions and getting attacked for it. Ironically the ones promoting peace disrupt it the most.

A stated opinion crosses the line on BZP when it discriminates and/or puts down a certain group or individual, or supports that action.

On this site, this whole situation is being blown out of proportion. I never saw anyone saying "ooh gato i haet you" in his blog entry. Only people respectfully stating their opinions and getting attacked for it. Ironically the ones promoting peace disrupt it the most.

Being anti-homosexual is not merely an "opinion". It is a choice that affects more than 10 percent of the world's population, and infringes on rights, responsibilities, and the basic enjoyment of life. It is intolerance, and there is no way to respectfully state it.

It is like me looking over to Nukaya who is sitting next to me and saying "Hey, I'm not sexist, and I don't hate women, but I don't approve of women, so I don't think you should be one."

@eljay: how is it being blown out of proportion? because people are discussing how homophobia is wrong in response to how people decided to tell gato his life was wrong because he posted about his struggles with it? because people called these people out on "respectfully stating their opinions" when it wasnt respectful or necessary at all?

im getting the vibe that youre just saying its being blown out of proportion because you dont agree with it. i personally feel the opposite, and it wont have gone far enough until its been drilled into people to stop constantly dragging politics and religion (which are against the rules) into any and every discussion and debate involving homosexuality (a topic the staff has ruled multiple times was not against the rules), and just let people be, and that politics & religion are literally nowhere near the same as gender & sexuality.

@kohaku: i love you for making this entry and im super sorry for snapping here

On this site, this whole situation is being blown out of proportion. I never saw anyone saying "ooh gato i haet you" in his blog entry. Only people respectfully stating their opinions and getting attacked for it. Ironically the ones promoting peace disrupt it the most.Being anti-homosexual is not merely an "opinion". It is a choice that affects more than 10 percent of the world's population, and infringes on rights, responsibilities, and the basic enjoyment of life. It is intolerance, and there is no way to respectfully state it.

It is like me looking over to Nukaya who is sitting next to me and saying "Hey, I'm not sexist, and I don't hate women, but I don't approve of women, so I don't think you should be one."

It is also 100% against the BZPower rules.

Just because it's against BZP rules, doesn't make it right.Also the "dont be a woman" thing is a flawed arguement.

On this site, this whole situation is being blown out of proportion. I never saw anyone saying "ooh gato i haet you" in his blog entry. Only people respectfully stating their opinions and getting attacked for it. Ironically the ones promoting peace disrupt it the most.

Being anti-homosexual is not merely an "opinion". It is a choice that affects more than 10 percent of the world's population, and infringes on rights, responsibilities, and the basic enjoyment of life. It is intolerance, and there is no way to respectfully state it.

It is like me looking over to Nukaya who is sitting next to me and saying "Hey, I'm not sexist, and I don't hate women, but I don't approve of women, so I don't think you should be one."

It is also 100% against the BZPower rules.

pat i love you

thats all i really have to add to this entry

Also the "dont be a woman" thing is a flawed arguement.

no it isnt? like just like how nukaya being a woman is a part of her, someone being gay is a part of them, and you saying theres something flawed with that and who they are makes you seem kinda like a bad person. saying its not okay for someone to be a woman is literally the same concept, just with gender instead of sexuality.

So wait, this is allowed on a Lego forum site, but I can't say "Copy/paste in your sig if you love Jesus!"?Well, that's religious. Politics and religion are not allowed on BZP for obvious reasons - namely, flame wars.

Sexuality, and appropriate discussions of it, are acceptable because it's not inherently a political or religious issue.

What if I naturally loved Jesus, like you naturally love guys?

DeeVee, on , said:

Eljay: Toa of Mangosteen, on , said:

On this site, this whole situation is being blown out of proportion. I never saw anyone saying "ooh gato i haet you" in his blog entry. Only people respectfully stating their opinions and getting attacked for it. Ironically the ones promoting peace disrupt it the most.Being anti-homosexual is not merely an "opinion". It is a choice that affects more than 10 percent of the world's population, and infringes on rights, responsibilities, and the basic enjoyment of life. It is intolerance, and there is no way to respectfully state it.

It is like me looking over to Nukaya who is sitting next to me and saying "Hey, I'm not sexist, and I don't hate women, but I don't approve of women, so I don't think you should be one."

It is also 100% against the BZPower rules.

pat i love you

thats all i really have to add to this entry

Rarity, on , said:

Also the "dont be a woman" thing is a flawed arguement.

no it isnt? like just like how nukaya being a woman is a part of her, someone being gay is a part of them, and you saying theres something flawed with that and who they are makes you seem kinda like a bad person. saying its not okay for someone to be a woman is literally the same concept, just with gender instead of sexuality.

I'm a bad person anyway.It is a bad arguement, because some people see homosexuality as unatural.

@Rarity Firstly let me say that religious points of view aren't something that happens naturally. They are something that is taught. Someone's sexuality is not taught, it is inherent and comes from one's inner sense of self.

Secondly, they've proven that there is homosexuality in the animal kingdom. The animal kingdom is part of nature. So let me get this straight. Naturally, something that happens naturally in nature is not natural even though it naturally happens? In. Nature?

Look, I don't hate any one person who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transsexual. I harbor no hate or ill will for them, but I do not support them either.

What I do not like is the fact that their sexuality is continually being forced upon me. People act like I NEED to accept this, and that I need to know that this one person is gay, or lesbian, or whatever.

If people would just let it be, I would not have any problems with it whatsoever.

@Rarity Firstly let me say that religious points of view aren't something that happens naturally. They are something that is taught. Someone's sexuality is not taught, it is inherent and comes from one's inner sense of self.

Secondly, they've proven that there is homosexuality in the animal kingdom. The animal kingdom is part of nature. So let me get this straight. Naturally, something that happens naturally in nature is not natural even though it naturally happens? In. Nature?

Removed. This type of discussion however is not suitable for BZPower.

If you are going to have a counterpoint, please make it BZPower appropriate. -Kohaku

@Skarloth So being happy about who you are is a bad thing now? Would you say the same thing about natural blonde-ness? Or female-ness? Would you dare to say that you do not support someone being a natural blonde? That you do not support someone being born a woman? Just wondering.