Sunday, October 13, 2013

I still remember the days when I was too afraid of losing my other half. He was everything. He is still everything every living being could be. I still remember the times when I would cry over the idea of being alone. Even today I still freak out sometimes. I guess that will never fade away.

But Alhamdulillah for everything.
Alhamdulillah.

I can only thank Allah for that everything.

Today, we've been blessed with two sons. Ikram Fakhri, three and a half years old; and 'Irfan, 5 months. Everyone says both of them look like their Dad, but they don't look alike. Some says that from certain angle and sometimes they look like me too.

Today, I would say that I'm still coping with the world. I have to admit that I not a perfect wife, and I am not a perfect mother. I am still trying to juggle and balance between responsibilities. But I try my best to be.

And I will try my best to be happy all the time. Yes, of course, deep down, I'm very happy and thankful for everything I have been blessed with. Maybe I need to be more expressive - show my happiness even when I'm tired, even when I'm sick.Alhamdulillah,5 years and counting!

Sunday, October 06, 2013

Oh ya, I really don't know how to differentiate between cupcakes and muffins, so let's call them cupcakes AND muffins, okay?

Okay. Now... my Nutella 'supplier' from Singapore (a.k.a. Tc Sharifah Haslina in Adni) - because it's waaay cheaper over there - told me that Nutella cupcakes are reaaally nice! So finally I get to try bake some. And since I really love black-bottom cupcakes, I decided to combine both recipes.

The recipe below prepares a dozen (12) cupcakes

Cheese Mix:

227g of Cream Cheese

1/3 cup sugar

1 egg

Nutella Mix:

1 cup Nutella

60 g plain flour

1 ½ tsp baking powder

2 eggs

2 tbsp Milk

A pinch of salt

Optional:

Coarsely-chopped hazelnuts

Semi-sweet chocolate chip

Steps:

1. Preheat oven to 170 degrees.

2. Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt set aside.

3. In a large bowl, mix all the Nutella Mix.

(tips: Mix the wet ingredients first, and then fold in flour mixture and mix until smooth)

4. In another large bowl, beat the Cheese Mix until fluffy.

5. Scoop Nutella Mix into muffin cups (half-full) and top it up with a tablespoon of Cheese Mix.

6. Top it with hazelnuts / chocolate chips.

7. Bake muffins for about 20 to 25 minutes.

Oh, just in case you don't have any Nutella in hand, you can always go back to the original recipe using chocolate :) Here's the mix:

Alhamdulillah, my littlest hero is now 4 months and 3 weeks old. Time flies by really fast! He started to successfully and quickly roll over 2 days before he turned 4 months. Very chubby boy, weighed 8.2 kg at 4 months and 2 weeks!

As a mom, I often feel guilty for having to leave him at home with the maid more than the hours I actually spent with him (excluding sleeping time). I really hope it's not just the hours that counts, but QUALITY TIME. May Allah bless our family. Oh yes, we'll reach 5 years of marriage in a couple of weeks inshaAllah.

it came again. this time, a total of more than a week and now it's still here somewhere in my head...

just sharing some tips. it's not easy though, especially the first one you will definitely need a medical leave on weekdays or a break from kids/house chores/other activities on weekends.

1. Seek a calm environment

At the first sign of a migraine, retreat from your usual activities if possible.

Turn off the lights. Migraines often increase sensitivity to light and sound. Relax in a dark, quiet room. Sleep if you can.Try temperature therapy. Apply hot or cold compresses to your head or neck. Ice packs have a numbing effect, which may dull the sensation of pain. Hot packs and heating pads can relax tense muscles; warm showers or baths may have a similar effect.Massage painful areas. Apply gentle pressure to your scalp or temples. Alleviate muscle tension with a shoulder or neck massage.Drink a caffeinated beverage. In small amounts, caffeine alone can relieve migraine pain in the early stages or enhance the pain-reducing effects of acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) and aspirin. Be careful, however. Drinking too much caffeine too often can lead to withdrawal headaches later on.

2. Sleep well

Migraines may keep you from falling asleep or wake you up at night. Likewise, migraines are often triggered by a poor night's sleep. Here's help encouraging sound sleep.

Establish regular sleep hours. Wake up and go to bed at the same time every day — even on weekends. If you nap during the day, keep it short. Naps longer than 20 to 30 minutes may interfere with nighttime sleep.Unwind at the end of the day. Anything that helps you relax can promote better sleep: Listen to soothing music, soak in a warm bath or read a favorite book. But watch what you eat and drink before bedtime. Intense exercise, heavy meals, caffeine, nicotine and alcohol can interfere with sleep.Minimize distractions. Save your bedroom for sleep and intimacy. Don't watch television or take work materials to bed. Close your bedroom door. Use a fan to muffle distracting noises.Don't try to sleep. The harder you try to sleep, the more awake you'll feel. If you can't fall asleep, read or do another quiet activity until you become drowsy.Check your medications. Medications that contain caffeine or other stimulants — including some medications to treat migraines — may interfere with sleep.

3. Eat wisely

Your eating habits can influence your migraines. Consider the basics:

Be consistent. Eat at about the same time every day.Don't skip meals. Eating breakfast is especially important.Avoid foods that trigger migraines. If you suspect that a certain food — such as aged cheese, chocolate, caffeine or alcohol — is triggering your migraines, eliminate it from your diet to see what happens.

4. Exercise regularly

During physical activity, your body releases certain chemicals that block pain signals to your brain. These chemicals also help alleviate anxiety and depression, which can make migraines worse. If your doctor agrees, choose any exercise you enjoy. Walking, swimming and cycling are often good choices. But it's important to start slowly. Exercising too vigorously can trigger migraines.

5. Manage stress

Stress and migraines often go hand in hand. You can't avoid daily stress, but you can keep it under control — which can help you prevent migraines.

Simplify your life. Rather than looking for ways to squeeze more activities or chores into the day, find a way to leave some things out.Manage your time wisely. Update your to-do list every day — both at work and at home. Delegate what you can, and divide large projects into manageable chunks.Take a break. If you feel overwhelmed, a few slow stretches or a quick walk may renew your energy for the task at hand.Adjust your attitude. Stay positive. If you find yourself thinking, "This can't be done," switch gears. Think instead, "This will be tough. But I can make it work."Let go. Don't worry about things you can't control.Relax. Deep breathing from your diaphragm can help you relax. Focus on inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply for at least 10 minutes every day. It may also help to consciously relax your muscles, one group at a time. When you're done, sit quietly for a minute or two.

6. Keep a migraine diary

A diary may help you determine what triggers your migraines. Note when your migraines start, what you were doing at the time, how long they last and what, if anything, provides relief. Eventually you may be able to prevent migraines by changing patterns in your daily life.

7. Strive for balance

Living with migraines is a daily challenge. But making healthy lifestyle choices can help. Ask your friends and loved ones for support. If you're feeling anxious or depressed, consider joining a support group or seeking counseling. Believe in your ability to take control of the pain.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Exactly 7 days after my grandmother Atok Ton passed away, my grandfather followed her to meet our Supreme Creator. As I mentioned in my previous post about Atok Ton, Tok Maarof was also very sick. He had cancer for few years actually, and it had already begun spreading to other vital parts of his body for quite sometime.

Yesterday, the doctors tell us that there's nothing much they can do considering his old age and the complications here and there. He was 83. So finally late last night our family decided to bring him home.

Before that, the doctor has advised family members who wish to visit him to do so as soon as possible. Sadly, I didn't get the chance to do so. Not even once since he got warded.

But alhamdulillah, it looks like Tok Maarof was in peace as well. His face was also as if he was smiling. Allahu ta'ala a'lam what's actually happening in the other world - its not for us to judge. What's important is how we are going to spend our lives in order to have a good and blessed ending.

Husnul khatimah.

I really pray that Allah will only take away my life when I'm ready...

it's been a couple of days since Atok Ton left us to meet our Creator.

alhamdulillah, it seems like Allah has ease her way, and Allah ease our way to manage her.

atok has gone in and out of the hospital for quite sometime, maybe two months. my dad said, alhamdulillah it was quite a short time that she was really sick. she had diabetics and things just got worse for her. some people go through months and even years before they pass on.

few days before she passed away, she was admitted to ICU, mainly due to lung infection. many of my family members, especially the doctors, had the feeling that time is short for her. my mom decided that we will call our family members to gather at our house to recite Yaasin and make du'aa for her on Saturday night.

on Saturday afternoon, the doctor who treated her told us that it's better if family members visit her as soon as possible. they will allow visits even during non-visiting hours.

my grandfather who was also warded at the hospital (and still is) had insisted everyone to attend the gathering although some of them wanted stay by his side just in case anything happens. he too is quite sick as of this moment.

alhamdulillah all of us gathered that night, and recited Yaasin together, made du'aa and my father shared some tazkirah, regarding death and of course our preparations for the life after death.

immediately after the gathering, majority of our big family went straight to the hospital to visit Atok Ton. they went nearly at 10 p.m. and took turns to go into the ICU to visit her. i had to stay at home.

few minutes before midnight, we received a message from the hospital that Atok Ton passed away.

alhamdulillah, i think it was really Allah's arrangement that at the final moment, my eldest sister and her husband was at Atok's side, together with my husband and brother. they are both doctors. they understood what every number, letter and graph on the machine attached to Atok meant.

from the readings on the machine, they realized that Atok was going to leave soon. my brother-in-law first whispered to her ears the Shahadah repeatedly. and then when he went to get the doctor in charge, my sister continued reciting Shahadah to her ears. my husband said he noticed tears slowly flowing from the corner of Atok's eyes. oh yes, Atok had that breathing aid thing in her mouth so she couldn't really say a word, and she was really weak anyway - like partially conscious.

slowly, all readings on the machine went down and eventually stopped.

alhamdulillah, when i took a look at Atok for the final time, she looked very peaceful, and even smiling. i sat by her side with Ikram and one of my nephew Ishraf, and we recited al-Fatihah together.

my brother said, Allah has made it easy for us too. Allah took back Atok on a weekend, we could gather and read Yaasin, we could visit her, and we could manage her funeral. if it was on a weekday things might not be as easy to handle.

when we were all at the mosque except for one maid who stayed home, someone even dropped by our house and sent us 'lauk' for lunch (and dinner). may Allah bless that person. we do not know who, as the maid who stayed at home is very new.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Day 14 of having another bundle of joy in my life.
Subhanallah. He was born on 12th May 2013 @ 11.28 a.m. in Hospital Ampang, weighing 3.74 kg and 51 cm. Yes, alhamdulillah I managed to normally deliver this boy to this world, of course with Allah's grace..

Labour pain was really painful, I can still remember that time. Contractions started at 7 a.m. Saturday, got to 7-9 minutes gap only 12 hours later, and I went into labour room at 6.30 a.m. the next day. I was exhausted by that time, and couldn't help myself but fall asleep between those painful contraction pain! At one point, I even asked for epidural but it was a Sunday and the specialist doctor was not around...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

The bump is getting really huge now at 29 weeks, alhamdulillah! I remember having very bad headaches throughout the first trimester, but only once or twice during the 2nd trimester.. Hopefully i will only need to deal with heartburns - or better not at all! - for this 3rd trimester!!

Alhamdulillah, Abang Ikram is growing up really well :) he's turning 3 in a bit more than a month! He's a very independent boy, mashaAllah, with a very huge appetite!

And alhamdulillah Baba is also doing well with his business. He looks calmer and enjoys his career a lot :) he's been really busy recently, and i guess he will be more busy until the election days..