It is nearly thirty years since the encyclical <Humanae Vitae> was
first published. In that time, a number of marvellous developments have
occurred. The work of researchers has refined methods of Natural Family Planning
to a high degree of reliability making their practical application a great deal
easier than was the case in the 1960s. We have seen, too, the emergence of
movements and organisations of married couples who in various ways are exploring
the intricacies of married love and assisting each other in the journey of
married life. It is with hope and enthusiasm that we wish to draw the attention
of the whole community to these developments and, in particular to the
experience of those couples who have discovered for themselves the benefits of
Natural Family Planning and the wisdom of the Church's teaching concerning the
transmission of life.

At the same time, we recognise that many people harbour deep hurts relating
to this area of Church teaching. Often these hurts have been aggravated by poor
communication and confusion within the Church itself. At times couples have felt
judged and criticised by church leaders. Conversely, many leaders have felt
attacked by their own people. To all parties we offer our empathy and invite the
channels of reconciliation to be opened up so that together we may examine this
teaching afresh without recourse to blame and criticism.

We call all the people in the Church in Australia—married single, clergy,
religious—to a renewed appreciation of the sacredness of married love and of
the great sign of love and life which our couples witness to us. For it is only
within the context of a deeper understanding of the meaning of married love that
we can fully appreciate the Church's teaching on the transmission of life.

Planning Families: The Responsibility of Married Couples

Married couples should regard it as their proper mission to transmit human
life and to educate their children; they should recognise that they are thereby
co-operating with the love of God the Creator and are, in a certain sense, its
interpreters. (<Gaudium et Spes>, N 50)

Planning a family is one of the responsibilities of married couples and they
should always <be free to determine the size of their family>
(<Families: Our Hidden Treasure>, p. 23). The fertility of a couple is a
special bond between husband and wife and part of the intimate, exclusive giving
of themselves to each other in marriage. Some couples are happy to leave the
size of their family to God's providence, generously choosing to raise a large
family, exercising their freedom to take no action to avoid conception. There
are other couples anxious to have a child or a further child, who find they are
unable to achieve a pregnancy.

There are times when, for reasons relating to health, economic factors or the
well-being of other children, a couple judge it would be wiser not to bring a
child into the world at this time. In relation to such decisions, the Catholic
Church recognises that natural family planning (referred to as 'NFP') is a
legitimate means for regulating birth and an expression of responsible love.

In order to understand why the Church actively promotes natural methods of
family planning and does not condone the use of contraceptives or procedures
which lead to the termination of life already conceived requires an
understanding of the sacred nature of the marriage bond and the role of marital
love in the lives of couples.

Marital Love is Life-giving

The communion of husband and wife through the act of conjugal love is a
source of life, not just to the couple but to all who come in contact with them.
Authentic love by its very nature extends outwards drawing others into its
circle, thereby expanding the communion of love. Most of us know of married
couples whose homes are places of warmth and hospitality. People love to gather
there and draw strength from the love they share with the wider community:
extended family, neighbours, people in distress. Pope John Paul II refers to
this dimension of married life as the <civilisation of love.>

The life-giving nature of marital love can he felt in many ways, but it has
special significance in the procreative element of married life. When a couple
express their love through the act of intercourse, they enter a language of love
which speaks of chaste intimacy, permanency, faithfulness, unity and the
willingness to 'surrender all' and 'accept all'. It is a fundamental statement
of the meaning of the marital communion. Thus we speak of sexual intercourse not
just as one act among many actions in married life (like working, doing domestic
chores), but as a special kind of embodiment of all the love that the couple
brings to the marital relationship. Through this one act, a couple says: 'I give
my total self as a woman and call forth in you the fullness of your manhood'; 'I
surrender myself completely as a man and acknowledge the fullness of your
womanhood'

It is within this faithful 'yes' to one another at such a profound depth of
human intimacy that the creation of new life becomes a possibility. Through this
intimate language of love, God joins with the couple in being 'co-creators' of
life by imparting the spark of divine life to the couple in the creation of a
new human being.

Indeed, by its intimate structure, the conjugal act, while most closely
uniting husband and wife, capacitates them for the generation of new lives,
according to laws inscribed in the very being of man and of woman. By
safeguarding both these essential aspects, the unitive and the procreative, the
conjugal act preserves in its fullness the sense of true mutual love and its
ordination towards our most high calling to parenthood. (<Humanae Vitae>,
N 12)

It is within the context of this loving and life-giving communion that the
Church affirms the inseparable connection between the two meanings of sexual
intercourse in marriage: the unitive meaning and the procreative meaning.

The Church's great respect for the physical union that takes place between
married couples and its unique place as a sign and source of communion in the
fidelity of the marital relationship, provides the essential context for
understanding the Church's teaching on family planning.

Married Love is Unifying

<When my husband and I come together to physically express our love, I am
conscious of something sacred happening. For us, sexual intimacy is a sacred
'rite' through which we renew and regenerate the love bond between. us. This
love is a delicate balance between the nourishment we give each other through
our intimacy and the nourishment we provide to other people in our lives
including our children.> (Sue, aged 36 years)

The gift of married love is the unique and distinctive expression of human
intimacy. Through the covenant of marriage, the life of a woman and the life of
a man become intertwined in a profound and pervasive way. So total is their
self-giving to one another that they live no longer as two individuals but as
'two in one flesh'. Furthermore, this intimacy is experienced in a profound way.
Not just confined to the physical or genital act of intercourse, the married
couple's intimate loving involves a way, of relating that permeates their entire
lives. Through countless routine interactions in daily life, a husband is called
to respond to his wife as 'the woman of his life', and she to her husband as
'the man of her life'. Their sexual way of relating and the unity and permanency
it implies makes their love different to every other man-woman friendship they
may encounter. This is the 'exclusivity' of married love which sets it apart
from all other human relationships.

Loving and Life Giving: A Dynamic Unity

<Watching our three year old son play with his building blocks, at times I
am tempted to interfere and help him. Yet somehow this would intrude on his
discovery and diminish his accomplishment. Clearly the more loving action is to
keep a watchful eye, ready to affirm and appreciate. I think the difference
between family planning by natural means and artificial means can be described
in similar terms. While contraceptive methods can control fertility, natural
methods allow us to manage the gift of fertility which comes from God.
controlling fertility engenders a sense of dependency and ultimately our sexual
self-appreciation is diminished. Managing our fertility through natural methods
empowers us to responsibly plan our family without undermining our need to he
fully present to each other as sexual, fertile beings.> (Chris, father of
three children)

Many people ask 'What's the difference between choosing not to conceive
through NFP and choosing not to conceive through contraceptive intercourse?'
after all, they say, the result is the same: a pregnancy is avoided. In
responding to such questions, the Church highlights the deeper meaning of the
act of sexual intimacy rather than just its biological consequences.

The promotion of natural methods of family planning by the Church goes hand
in hand with the promotion of an <attitude> to sex, to love, to life
itself. Without this attitude it is possible that NFP will be used with a
contraceptive mind-set. The letter of the law will be adhered to, but the spirit
could be lost. This is an inadequate expression of the Church's teaching on
responsible family planning.

The Church cannot condone contraception because it alters the meaning of the
sexual act itself. To deliberately and willfully cut off one's fertility in the
very moment that life could begin creates an intrinsic contradiction. On the one
hand, a spouse is surrendering his/her whole self. Yet in the midst of that
surrender there is a denial experienced by the couple who, in effect, say to
each other: 'No, I will not offer you all of me. No, I will not accept all of
you'. In this way an implicit 'falsehood' becomes embedded in an activity which
opposes its intrinsic value as a source and expression of unconditional love.

The very act which has the capacity to express the completeness of the
couple's self-surrender instead becomes an act of holding back of one's deepest
self. It is out of respect far this deep communication between a husband and
wife in marriage that the Church cannot condone contraception. By its stance the
Church is protecting the precious meaning of the marital covenant and the
promotion of life.

Hope for the Childless Couple

Sometimes great sorrow is experienced by many married couples who are denied
the joy of children. Modern methods of natural fertility regulation have proved
to be highly effective in achieving pregnancy in many situations.

By education in NFP, diagnosis and correction of reproductive abnormalities
by competent doctors can be facilitated. Couples are given the best possible
opportunity of conceiving by following the natural indicators of fertility,
particularly the essential ingredient of fertility, the cervical mucus
secretion. Apart from being very successful in alleviating infertility, NFP
avoids the physical and moral dangers of modern techniques of assisted
reproduction.

'Waiting' is An Expression of Married Love

What makes NFP unpopular to many in the community is that it involves
abstinence, a time of 'waiting'. We live in a society where we have grown to
expect instant availability, fast food, fast service, quick-fix solutions,
instant gratification. Even sex has become a commodity to be had—now! Our
culture makes it difficult to appreciate the value of waiting. It is true that
this is not always easy for couples and is part of the many sacrifices entailed
in married living. The immediate frustration of waiting must never be allowed to
eclipse the enduring value of waiting. Yet, the call to patiently endure is a
feature of many aspects of the Christian life and is always aimed at bringing
about an even deeper joy and love. There are times in marriage when intercourse
may not be an act of love, e.g. when one partner is ill, just prior to or just
after the birth of a baby, tiredness, or when there is illness in the family.
The greater act of love in these circumstances might be to refrain from
intercourse, to wait' and just be with and for each other.

Abstinence calls for both husband and wile to communicate about their sex
life and to appreciate its place in their overall marriage. In particular, it
calls for the husband to be attentive and interested in the wife's fertility—thus
appreciating her womanhood in a deeper way. He feels trusted by being invited
into an area of life born which he often feels excluded. She discovers a
serenity in knowing that she is loved for who she is, without having to change
or deny her fertility.

In their use of NFP, couples speak of abstinence as a way of developing
mutual respect for one another. 'Waiting' can lead them to explore other
non-genital signs of affection for expressing their love. There are many ways of
saving 'I love you' end unless we use all these ways, the ultimate expression.
intercourse, loses its significance. Special gestures of kindness, cuddles,
kisses, loving caresses or just being held are all ways of showing love for
one's spouse and can be a 'rediscovery' of the romance that first brought them
together. Through appreciating their gift of fertility a couple grow in
understanding and love.

Openness to Life is a Communal Affair

Children have a special place in the life of the family and the life of the
community. Their very existence testifies to the love of their parents, and is
cause of joy in the community. (<Families: Our Hidden Treasure>)

In the Christian way of life, children are viewed first and foremost as a
gift, not a burden. They are a sign of new life, openness and, hope to the whole
Christian community. In asking couples to welcome the gift of children we as a
Christian community must be prepared to encourage them in this task by giving
moral and practical support such as financial and prayer support, baby-sitting,
working for family-friendly policies and celebrating together the special times
in the life of a family.

Often in our modern society parents can feel as though public institutions
and policies oppose an openness to children. All too often communities adopt a
materialistic ethic whereby things and objects are placed above people. 'Having'
and 'doing' override the importance of 'being'. The special moments of human
existence, like conception and birth, thus become burdens which interfere with
the efficiency of daily living. Sexual expression is reduced to the pursuit of
pleasure and the possibility of conceiving a child seen as interference rather
than as a gift of married love. Widespread promotion of contraception has led to
acceptance of a mentality which separates procreative responsibility from the
marital love-union. Through this separation we are experiencing a loss of
appreciation of children who are sometimes portrayed as being an intrusion into
one's lifestyle.

These attitudes affect us all. A prejudice has developed today, even in some
Catholic circles. whereby large families are made to feel peculiar or unnatural.
A fourth or fifth pregnancy is greeted with sympathy from well-meaning friends
instead of joy and encouragement. Such attitudes can cause parents to lose heart
and to consider something 'wrong' with their being pregnant or wanting more
children. The community, both family and neighbourhood, needs to work together
to help identify with the couple the psychological and practical tasks of child
rearing and how the couple might receive the necessary support. To deny this
need can lead to isolation and pull the couple apart at a time of bringing about
new life in the family.

Faithfulness to the teachings of the Church concerning what Pope John Paul II
has termed the <Gospel of life>, that is the sacred value of all human
life from its beginning to its end, is something for which all are responsible
(<Evangelium Vitae>). As a community our attitudes and actions must foster
a life-giving climate conducive to the freedom couples need to welcome children
and the possibility of children as a vital part of their relationship.

The Benefits of Natural Family Planning Methods

Jennie, who was challenged by NFP, offers the following observation: <Six
months ago we quit the pill and began instruction in using NFP. We were pretty
nervous about it because none of our friends were using NFP and we had heard
some of our parents' friends complain that it wasn't reliable. We changed
because I was sick of the side effects of the pill so we weren't expecting the
impact on our relationship that is already evident. Now our family planning is a
shared responsibility. We communicate about our decisions more openly and I
don't feel burdened like I used to when the onus was always on me. Also, I feel
better, healthier. I like being in tune with my body ... and Neil does too!>

Many couples testify that by encouraging a 'lifestyle of communication', NFP
positively fosters a deeper married love because the procreative responsibility
rests not on one person alone but on the couple. Through learning about their
fertility couples come to learn more about each other and in particular their
capacity to be co-creators in new life. This awareness of fertility leads a
couple to regard their sexual intimacy as significant, as a loving activity
which has purpose and may be creative. In each cycle it invites them to reassess
their decision about whether or not to extend their love to include a new child.

Natural methods are not complicated and can be taught to anyone. These
methods foster self-awareness, self-control and, communication skills: all
qualities which are essential for maturity and for establishing the stable
relationship of marriage. Through encouraging the development of such qualities,
the use of natural family planning has the power to strengthen marriages.
Furthermore, these natural methods respect the health of the woman who would
otherwise be subject to the damaging side-effects of chemical contraceptives.
Many couples with no particular religious persuasion have turned to NFP
precisely for this reason. Disillusioned by the physical risks of contraceptives
and attracted to a more 'holistic' approach of working with their bodiliness,
many health-conscious people have embraced NFP.

The Way Forward—Step by Step

Many factors affect a couple's capacity to undertake natural family planning:
their communication, the stability of their relationship, stages of faith and
maturity. Each couple is unique. As with all Her teachings, the Church
recognises that while upholding the truths that guide Christian morality. we
must also accept that a person's understanding and acceptance of the Church's
teachings can be a gradual process.

The first step for a couple may be to seek accurate information about natural
family planning methods and to learn how to use them. The inherent goodness of
NFP works on the love in the relationship and draws the couple together as one.
We cannot judge the suitability of couples who come to learn, they vary from
indifference to God and to the child, through to deep devotion to God and God's
loving plan for them. There are also couples who would reject any attempt at
formation but who will always accept NFP teaching because that is what they came
for however imperfect their motives for doing so. The task of our faith
community is to bear witness to the truth in love and to lovingly invite others
to seek and live the truth.

In writing this letter we wish to publicly acknowledge those couples who have
faithfully followed the teachings of the Church in this area. Your witness and
experience have helped to bring the Church to greater depths of understanding
about the sacred nature of married love. We also acknowledge those couples who
have sincerely struggled with this teaching and have not, for whatever reason,
been able to embrace this method with success. With compassion we recognise that
at times some couples have felt burdened by the Church's position. With love, we
invite you to explore afresh natural methods of family planning and join with us
in this journey of growth and development as our Church learns more and more
about the nature of married love.

We also acknowledge and thank all those researchers and teachers of NFP, many
of whom have dedicated their life's work to making the teachings of the Church a
practical reality. It is indeed heartening that all Australian couples now have
access through a local NFP service centre or through telephone contact to
professional teaching advice on natural family planning methods.

We conclude by calling upon all members of our faith community to do all that
is within their means to affirm the life-giving nature of married love and to
foster a climate which will give credence to the Church's teaching on the
sacredness of married love and its openness to the transmission of life.

Archbishop Leonard Faulkner
Chairman Bishop's Committee For the Family and For Life, Australia.

This article was taken from the January 1996 issue of "Christian
Order". Published by Fr. Paul Crane, S. J. from 53, Penerley Road, Catford,
London SE6 2LH