Subscribe to this blog

Follow by Email

Love and Marriage - Part 2

What is
love, really? We LOVE Oprah, we LOVE ice
cream, we LOVE our spouse. We live in a
world where love is fleeting, focused on objects that come and go in our lives.
If we no longer like something Oprah says, we turn on another talk show host. We
live in a world where marriage, too, has become disposable. When that initial “exciting” love disappears,
it must be time for a new relationship.

This is NOT
the love that God intended for marriage.
He tells us to stick in there - “’Til
death us do part.” So how, in this
world, do we do that? One day at a time.

I believe
our initial “falling in love” starts out as a feeling. It often makes no sense. We seem to have little control over it and
become completely infatuated with the other person. When everything falls in place and we believe
we have found our ‘soul mate’, (God’s way of attracting our interest), we rapidly
plunge into exhilarating emotions. They entice us to pursue and develop a
relationship.

Love then quickly
turns into a verb. We have to show our
love; we have to act on it in order to sustain a relationship. Courtships based on lust and physical
feelings do not last. No one wants to
take the time and energy to pursue permanent love if it isn’t real. Most dating relationships never get past this
point of love when it’s confused with lust.

The Greeks
have five different words for love compared to our one word that covers
everything from chocolate to our children.
If we look at the Greek words, we see different levels of love as God
intended for marriage.

The first
word I want to look at is epithumia. Epithumia means “strong desire”. In the Bible, epithumia is mostly used to indicate
“lust”, a negative connotation. For
example, in Romans 6:12, Paul tells us “not
to let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires”
(epithumia). A few scriptures use it in
a healthy way as in Philippians 1:23, where Paul talks about his “desire to depart and be with Christ”

We need to
physically desire our spouse; that’s a big part of our initial attraction. Physical desire is important for a healthy
sex life in marriage. Without that, it
would be difficult to obtain a lasting relationship. We often go through periods in a marriage
where the physical desire is not as strong, and we need to work on keeping it
alive.

When
epithumia is centered on lust, though, without the other aspects of true love,
the passion and initial love will cease to exist. We have to be careful not to allow lust to
enter into our desires because it opens a door to perversion that leads to sin (pornography,
fantasy thoughts, infidelity, etc.). It
will quickly destroy a marriage.

Eros
love is a passionate love with a sensual desire, a greater love than
you would feel for a friend. It is an appreciation for the beauty found in a
person.The modern, Greek word, erotic, means sensual love, physical, sexual, although it is not based on a
sexual relationship. It can mean passion of a spiritual nature, “a love
between a man and woman neither planned nor willed, but somehow imposes itself
on human beings”.

Eros is
usually found in a dating or marriage relationship. It is the next stage after
epithumia that takes us a little deeper into love.

Resurrection Power for Marriage - 365 Day Devotional

My latest book available in ebook format. www.sandeelester.com

"In a world where fifty percent of marriages will fail, GPS to a Joyful Marriage is an excellent tool for Christians seeking to improve or restore their marriage. Sandee writes in a way that is humorous, honest and insightful as her wisdom comes directly from the healing of her own marriage. A practical book that provides biblically based techniques on how to build a healthy marriage." Suzanne Accardo, M.Ed. Certified Life Coach