''{The next image appears. It's a person in a Homestar costume; red shirt with a vague star shape made of white tape, with face and legs painted white. He's also wearing white shorts, white-and-blue shoes, and a red hat.}''

''{The next image appears. It's a person in a Homestar costume; red shirt with a vague star shape made of white tape, with face and legs painted white. He's also wearing white shorts, white-and-blue shoes, and a red hat.}''

-

'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay. ''{screen shakes up and down}'' Ohohohohohohokay. Where to start? Look, I know you weirdos that dress up as Homestar have like a tried-and-true history of putting terrible, terrible star shapes on your chests. But here, you leave me no choice. Feel free to follow along with my simple, step-by-step instructions. ''{Cut to a blank piece of notebook paper with Strong Bad's glove holding a pencil. Music starts.}'' I make drawing, ''{makes a strange "emememeh" sound}''. Okay. First, draw a star. For... a star. Then, ''{record scratch; music stops}'' DRAW A FREAKIN' STAR! JUST DRAW A STAR! IT'S LIKE THE EASIEST SHAPE TO DRAW, MAN! EVERYBODY LEARNS HOW TO DRAW A STAR WHEN THEY'RE LIKE THREE YEARS OLD! BABY TOYS... ARE COVERED IN STARS! BECAUSE IT IS A SHAPE THAT BABIES CAN UNDERSTAND! ''{Cut back to the picture of the costume}'' WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! ''{Close-up on the costume-wearer's legs}'' NEXT TIME, SHAVE YOUR LEGS BEFORE YOU PAINT THEM WHITE! ''{Another podcast image appears, similar to the earlier one, now titled "STRONG BAD MAKES FUN OF FAN COSTUMES Episode 8". Music starts again, and Strong Bad speaks in his soft voice from before.}'' Alright, that's it for this week. If you like what you heard, don't forget to donate to support this podcast. Next month, I hope-a to make it a five-a dollabra.

+

'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay. ''{screen shakes up and down}'' Ohohohohohohokay. Where to start? Look, I know you weirdos that dress up as Homestar have like a tried-and-true history of putting terrible, terrible star shapes on your chests. But here, you leave me no choice. Feel free to follow along with my simple, step-by-step instructions. ''{Cut to a blank piece of notebook paper with Strong Bad's glove holding a pencil. Music starts.}'' I make drawing, ''{makes a strange "emememeh" sound}''. Okay. First, draw a star. For... a star. Then, ''{record scratch; music stops}'' DRAW A FREAKIN' STAR! JUST DRAW A STAR! IT'S LIKE THE EASIEST SHAPE TO DRAW, MAN! EVERYBODY LEARNS HOW TO DRAW A STAR WHEN THEY'RE LIKE THREE YEARS OLD! BABY TOYS... ARE COVERED IN STARS! BECAUSE IT IS A SHAPE THAT BABIES CAN UNDERSTAND! ''{Cut back to the picture of the costume}'' WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! ''{Close-up on the costume-wearer's legs}'' NEXT TIME, SHAVE YOUR LEGS BEFORE YOU PAINT THEM WHITE! ''{Another podcast image appears, similar to the earlier one, now titled "STRONG BAD MAKES FUN OF FAN COSTUMES Episode 8". Music starts again, and Strong Bad speaks in his soft voice from before.}'' All right, that's it for this week. If you like what you heard, don't forget to donate to support this podcast. Next month, I hope-a to make it a five-a dollabra.

Contents

Transcript

{As usual, the toon starts in the basement of the Brothers Strong; the light dims and the projector screen comes down. The first image displayed is a person in a fancy shirt and a face mask, wearing a "Hello my name is STINY" name tag and holding a plastic pastry box.}

STRONG BAD:{as Strong Badman} Stiny! I said get me a Danish! That is clearly a coffee cake! Also, watch out for Portrait-of-a-Catman! {As he says this name, a Strong Badman comic book appears, captioned, "Oh my! It's PORTRAIT-OF-A-CATMAN!!"}

PORTRAIT-OF-A-CATMAN: Meow peow! {These words are added to the comic book cover.}

{The next image appears. It shows someone posing dressed as Strong Bad wearing an Ab-Abber T-shirt, and a woman in a brown jacket, a hat, sunglasses, boots, and a The Cheat-patterned skirt, making a finger-gun.}

STRONG BAD: Is that Ab-Abber Strong Bad with limited-edition Gunhavette? {During the next sentence, a Cheat Commandos action figure package appears of Gunhavette: Gunhaver with brown hair added, with the words "Takes No Guff!" under the name.} Oh man, she was only available by mail order until she got recalled, because Cheap As Free Toys mistakenly printed, {the following words appear as a sticker on the package} "Ob'm know. Maybe eat it, kids." on the package. An honest mistake.

{The next image appears. It's a boy dressed in the Bubs costume from Costume Commercial, with a mask, a "BUBS!" apron, and a brown paper bag with CANDY! written on it.}

STRONG BAD: Not a Bubs costume, but a Bubs costume costume. You gotta love those second- and third-generation costume ideas.

{The next image appears. It's a man dressed as Homestar Runner dressed as Strong Sad, with a gray star shirt, a sock taped to his head, hippo slippers, and a downcast expression.}

STRONG BAD: Like this one: a perfect Homestar's-impression-of-Strong-Sad costume.

{The real Homestar dressed as Strong Sad appears beside the photo.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER:{doing his Strong Sad impression} Oh... my idea for a Halloween costume anyone would recognize died. So I dressed up like this.

{The next image appears. It's a person wearing a white shirt, with a paper plate over his face with a question mark written on it and eyeholes.}

{The next image appears. It's a woman and man in costumes that vaguely resemble Marzipan and Homestar respectively, holding a child between them who appears to be dressed as a veggie burger.}

STRONG BAD:{as if speaking on a telephone} Hello, yes, this is... Clarence... Childprotectionson. Uh, I—I got a pair of parents here who dressed their kid up as a Homestar Jr. Uh, they appear to be at some kind of square dance, or maybe a Cracker Barrel. This could go south in a hurry. The mother is armed and Marzipan'd. I repeat: the mother is armed and Marzipan'd.

{The next image appears. It's a boy wearing a red T-shirt with a painted star, and a music player cord hung around his neck.}

STRONG BAD: Come on! Can't you at least make the effort to take your shuffle off? Or were you like, listenin' to that podcast: "How to Paint a Star with a Chipmunk Tail"? {A music player screen appears, with a podcast cover featuring Strong Bad smiling and holding a chipmunk tail, against the background of the basement. Music plays as Strong Bad speaks in a soft voice with a faint accent.} And now, grabbin' your chipmunk by the haunches, gently dip the tail into your white paint, and slather it sloppily on the red T-shirt. If you like what you hearin', don't forget to donate to support this podcast. Last month, I made-a four dollars.

{The next image appears: a girl dressed as Modestly Hot Homsar in a cardboard box filled with Styrofoam peanuts.}

STRONG BAD: BLAAH! How did you dress up as my worst nightmare?!

HOMSAR: IIIiiiII bathe myself in the shipping supplies!

STRONG BAD: Stop it! I won't sleep for weeks!

{The next image appears. It's a blurry picture of a boy in a white dress shirt with his face painted white, holding some sort of apparatus. "Japanese Culture greg" appears to be written on his shirt.}

STRONG BAD: No stop it again! I won't sleep for weeks! {The "real" drawing of Japanese Culture Greg is superimposed on the screen.}

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: And now I'll just apply this looking-through-filthy-swamp-water filter to my selfie, {he points to a "swamp water" icon, alongside "marsh water", "bog water", and "snake water" icons that have also appeared} and send it on to Strong Bad!

{The next image appears. It's a person with no shirt on with a paper cut-out Strong Bad mask and a boxing glove. As Strong Bad speaks, the picture switches to the same person in costumes of the King of Town, Marzipan, and Coach Z.}

STRONG BAD: This kid seems to have invented his own line of "I have five minutes and zero dollars to make a Halloween costume" costumes. Are you just wearing a green long-sleeve shirt as pants?

STRONG BAD: This mask is fantastic! I'm not even gonna make fun of it! But you did get the boxing gloves totally wrong. I'm not an Everlast man! {He shows one of his boxing gloves during the next line, which now have a brand name on them.} Everybody knows I only rock A+ #1 All-Pro Panache! {quickly} Makers of fine biological boxing gloves since 1973.

{The next image appears. It's a tall person dressed as Strong Bad with a skin-colored shirt, and carrying a pumpkin with Strong Bad's face carved in it.}

STRONG BAD: Technically I guess this is a "good" Strong Bad costume. But, let's see what happens when I match proportions with ya. {During this sentence, a picture of Strong Bad appears next to the picture, then moves to the center of the image, stretching to fit the costume-wearer's proportions. The result is an extremely long-bodied, long-legged Strong Bad with a very small head. He's holding a cartoon version of the pumpkin.}

RE-PROPORTIONED STRONG BAD:{in a high-pitched version of Strong Bad's voice} Want some pumpkin?

STRONG BAD: Duah! That's what I thought.

{The next image appears. It's a woman in a smiley-face shirt and a flowered skirt, holding a guitar that's decorated to look like Carol, with the lettering and the snake image.}

STRONG BAD: Well, that's a totally nonexistent Marzipan costume. But you did dress your guitar up as Carol pretty well. Got the coily snake on there, and... you even downloaded that font: "MotterFemD". I think there's like a hair salon nearby that uses that font. Called "Luscious Wavey... {falters} Waveings"... {a business card for the salon appears: "Luscious Wavẽiñgs by Bubs"} way... is that "waveing"? Do people do that to their hair? In a luscious fashion? Nailed this one!

{The next image appears. It's a person in a Homestar costume; red shirt with a vague star shape made of white tape, with face and legs painted white. He's also wearing white shorts, white-and-blue shoes, and a red hat.}

STRONG BAD: Okay. {screen shakes up and down} Ohohohohohohokay. Where to start? Look, I know you weirdos that dress up as Homestar have like a tried-and-true history of putting terrible, terrible star shapes on your chests. But here, you leave me no choice. Feel free to follow along with my simple, step-by-step instructions. {Cut to a blank piece of notebook paper with Strong Bad's glove holding a pencil. Music starts.} I make drawing, {makes a strange "emememeh" sound}. Okay. First, draw a star. For... a star. Then, {record scratch; music stops} DRAW A FREAKIN' STAR! JUST DRAW A STAR! IT'S LIKE THE EASIEST SHAPE TO DRAW, MAN! EVERYBODY LEARNS HOW TO DRAW A STAR WHEN THEY'RE LIKE THREE YEARS OLD! BABY TOYS... ARE COVERED IN STARS! BECAUSE IT IS A SHAPE THAT BABIES CAN UNDERSTAND! {Cut back to the picture of the costume} WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! {Close-up on the costume-wearer's legs} NEXT TIME, SHAVE YOUR LEGS BEFORE YOU PAINT THEM WHITE! {Another podcast image appears, similar to the earlier one, now titled "STRONG BAD MAKES FUN OF FAN COSTUMES Episode 8". Music starts again, and Strong Bad speaks in his soft voice from before.} All right, that's it for this week. If you like what you heard, don't forget to donate to support this podcast. Next month, I hope-a to make it a five-a dollabra.

Fun Facts

Trivia

Anonymous Contributora drawing of StrongSad with a questionmark for a head. It isfrom the sbemail calledRock Opera, which wasa lot of work, but notactually that great. Oh,well. I kinda like howStrong Sad's elephantfeet, or soolnds, aredepicted in stick figuremode.