Lena Dunham Wants Clitoral College to Stop Trump Presidency

NEW YORK CITY – America’s skankheart, “actress” Lena Dunham, is outraged again now that Donald Trump has secured the presidency after the Electoral College yesterday made his victory official. Dunham, who finds it difficult to go one day without saying something truly bizarre, railed against our voting system once more.

Today, after announcing that even though she’d never had an abortion, she wishes now that she had, Lena railed against the Electoral College system for voting for Donald Trump. “The fact that the EC was thought up by a bunch of white males, centuries ago, means the system was flawed from the beginning! The patriarchy sucks!”

“What about the Clitoral College? Doesn’t that count? The Vagina Lobby is well oiled, and we’re not going to stand for a misogynist like Trump as our president. We’ll flex our muscles if we have to, and our power will vibrate across the country!”

Dunham said only 69% of the states need to ratify the Clitoral College and make it the pearl of the Constitution. “We need ‘vulvateers’ to spread the word about the CC,” Lena said. “The time is now, women. We can’t just keep flicking the bean down the street, hoping someone else will come along to do it for us.”

Dunham said women can assist the movement by contacting their female representatives, either orally or by hand.