Georgia Tech Sign Vandalized to Complete Giant Equation

ATLANTA, GA–Georgia Tech’s Tech Tower was vandalized this week when mathematics grad students Abbey Gadro and Al Anturing allegedly stole the sign’s North-facing T to complete a massive mathematical equation that required a very big variable. The letter T is often used to represent a quantity of time, as in the famous Lorentz transformation, in which time and space are squashed into guesswork on television shows.

“My clients had no intention of keeping the letter,” said Pete Thagrus, legal representative for both men. “My theorem is that they merely borrowed it to complete a very large mathematical equation in the spirit of knowledge upon which this great institution was founded.”

Thagrus denied allegations that the north-facing letter T was chosen due to a strange obsession on the part of college students with outdoor clothes manufacturer The North Face, calling it “speculation.”

Pete Thagrus’s theorem notwithstanding, theft of useful letters is a problem Georgia Tech has faced for many years, according to Dr. G.P. Preston, school president. It is a history of which he is not proud.

“This is not the way I’d like to see our institution in the news,” said Dr. Preston. “It’s shameful. I mean, we’re still struggling with the theft of the ‘g’ in Ramblin’ Wreck, for crying out loud. And now this.”

Editor In Chief, Founder, and Admiral of Smugness at The Atlanta Banana, Jim Hodgson has an ass for news. Follow him on twitter at @jimhodgson
He is the author of the hilarious Science Fiction novel Dangerous Dan, available now on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback.