Elysium using Mazui’s subs was also requested, but I couldn’t get a torrent for them to download, so we’re stuck with just these two contenders.

Doki

Filesize: 327mbEnglish: British, honorifics

Karaoke

Opening. You can’t tell in the screenshot, but the karaoke does this weird flickery thing that looks absolutely terrible. It’s a shame because I really like the styling.

Ending. It’s plain, but it does work.

Insert song. The left margins don’t look quite right to me. Also, what they’ve done with fades makes it very hard to read everything except a few syllables around the one just sung.

Typesetting

Hm, the kanji doesn’t look all that fancy, but I guess it works.

Everything here was typeset, even the unnecessary stuff. I like.

UTW had Principal. It’d probably be impossible to match this exactly.

There’s plenty of empty space, so I’m glad it was used.

I feel like there’s some skewing that could be tweaked a bit, and the alignment is odd.

MOAR BLUR

MOAR BLUR.

Script

Whether you’re using American or British rules, you’re missing a comma. Also, the comma you did put in is using American rules.

Either way, I don’t like the phrasing.

Okay, what happens if I accept?

There’s a bunch of redundancy in this sentence with the “that’s” and the “there”.

Hey, hey! No matter how you look at it, she’s just an ordinary girl!

When I first fansubbed, I had a brief stint at Doki. The very first line of my editor test? This line. I was told that something like this wouldn’t fly, and that “Where am I?” was the best alternative.

Very odd phrasing here.

You make it sound like I’m going to die.

While grammatically valid, I’ve not really heard “targeteting it at” before. Usually, people just use “targeting” or “target it at”.

No, of course we’d be targeting that woman.No, of course we’d target it at that woman.

She’s going to give the name of their group, so it needs to have a comma:

We, the…

All of TK’s lines were translated btw.

“all-boarding”? Is that a British thing? We’d just go with “boarding” afaik.

No comma needed.

The main conversation that we’ve been following… moved to the top? Why wouldn’t these new lines be overlapped?

“united with”? Am I watching more Aquarion EVOL? Also, no comma before yet.

To be honest, I haven’t joined them yet.

This is a mouthful.

I need to buy time to get my memory back. That’s what I should be focusing on.

No comma after a conjunction.

Again.

I think I screencapped this because there wasn’t anything following this clause.

No comma after a conjunction.

UTW

Filesize: 572mbEnglish: American, honorifics

Karaoke

I can’t freaking read this.

Much better. Doesn’t seem to clutter up the screen or anything.

I’m not liking the fonts or colors, but the screen is relatively clear.

Typesetting

The ellipses make this sign not seem aligned right. The font’s not perfect, but it’s not bad, either.

The text could have been smaller like everywhere to fit everything. And for the love of god stop with the vertical shit, guys. It doesn’t look good.

This isn’t the font you use for a block-like text sign.

Doki didn’t do this.

I really think there’s enough empty space to fit the typesetting on the red part like Doki did…

Big big skew issues here.

No typesetting here.

I like how this looks like something that’s attached and will later be torn apart. Doki’s didn’t do that.

I don’t know what happened to this screnshot, haha. But here’s uh… a partial list of staff?

Script

Do not like. If you can translate it like you did, why include the Japanese? It’s not vital in any way.

A girl is a “she”, not an “it”

Putting three “h” there looks kind of messy.

You capitalize if it’s like he’s calling her a name. That’s not what he’s doing. Therefore, lowercase this.

No comma after a conjunction!

Okay, this is cute and all, but just NO.

This is how TK’s dialogue was treated by UTW. Can’t say I like it.

This is a nitpick, really, so don’t get on my case about this in the comments like you guys have been. Sheesh. I’m not as thick-skinned as Dark_Sage!

If you’re doing to use “I said,” with a comma, make it a quote.

I said, “Do whatever the hell you want!”

If not, put a “to” in there.

I said to do whatever the hell you want! (Would be better as “I told you to” instead.)

No comma after a conjunction!

tl;dr: The releases are pretty even, to be honest. Both groups did good and bad things with the karaoke, typesetting, and script. I can’t really put one over the other here.

Many of UTW’s issues were styling based, like the diediedie business and TK’s dialogue, so if you don’t find issue in that, maybe their release would be better for you. But for those of us that find that eye-cancerous, Doki’s might actually be better.

In addition, I noticed that like 3/4 of the time, UTW’s lines were longer than Doki’s. Whether that meant they were more wordy or Doki split more, I’m not really sure. But that might also be a factor in your decision of which release to watch.

Maybe it’s Doki’s weird way of indicating that we’re not talking about an all boys or all girls boarding school. If that is the case, however, I don’t see why they didn’t just go with “boarding school”.

For the Doki OP kara, that would be because of the (invalid) tag \t(\alpha&F00&). It displays fine on VSFilter 2.40 and up and on libass, but on VSFilter 2.39 and xy-vsfilter (all versions), it has that flickery thing.

While some of them seem like they would be fine, the whole case about you complaining about the commas after the conjunction is a bit misguiding, is it not? I mean yeah maybe they used it a bit much, as it’s not usually used like that so often, but it doesn’t change the fact that it can be done that way. Now I’m not sure if it’s an American thing, but in British English it seems fine to me. Maybe it’s just me, but you can say “but” and then pause for a bit, like the comma does, and then say the rest of the line. This works. I don’t see how it doesn’t work. I’m not sure how well it comes from Japanese, but I feel it would work depending on the situation.

Even in British English you wouldn’t really use commas like that. Punctuation is pretty flexible really, but the only time you’d really get away with a comma after a conjunction like that is if it was followed by an aside. So, as examples go, this would be a good one to illustrate my meaning. Obviously, in subs, it’s better to use less commas rather than more, because adding that many pauses in breaks up the flow of a conversation and has the effect of halting the viewer in their reading of the subs.

I guess so. I didn’t really know what I was talking about, but I thought that it made sense to me what I said. I’m not an English major or anything, and I hated the subject in High School, so excuse this. Thanks, though. I have learnt something through this.