[[redirect:BestialityIsDepraved]]This title, named after the punchline for a joke, could be one of two things:* It's the old name for the BestialityIsDepraved trope.* The actual joke is about the NeverLiveItDown trope.

[[quoteright:349:[[Webcomic/CyanideAndHappiness http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/zee_parrot_133.jpg]]]][[caption-width-right:349:[[DoubleEntendre Looks like Polly just scored herself a cracker.]]]]

->''"You have no right to judge me! You weren't there! I was a stupid teenager! [[ImAManICantHelpIt I was horny!]] And it was a really cute horse!"''-->--'''Sweden''', ''Webcomic/ScandinaviaAndTheWorld''%%%% One quote is sufficient. Please place additional entries on the quotes tab.

Want to mark a character as a sexual deviant, but don't want to run into the UnfortunateImplications that tropes like the DepravedHomosexual or [[DepravedBisexual Bisexual]] or the PsychoLesbian have? Simple. Imply that they have a sexual interest in farm animals.

This is almost always played for laughs, rather than titillation. It works partly because actual bestiality is rare enough to seem less "{{real|ityIsUnrealistic}}" than other acts considered perverted, similar to the unreality of [[BigBallOfViolence cartoon violence]] — yet common enough that it's [[TruthInTelevision more plausible]] (and perhaps less gross?) than [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]]. We don't normally worry about the goat, because of said unreality and our [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman moral distance from animals]]. Since the animals in question are not anthropomorphized and are usually the more "comical" ones found in nature (goats, sheep, chickens), you're even likely to avoid the wrath of the FurryFandom. Also, there are not (yet?) "Bestiality Pride" parades of the type that would inspire letter writing campaigns against the trope's use.

You may get a couple of letters from [[AnimalWrongsGroup PETA]] and a severe hoof-to-the-head concussion, but frankly [[ThisIsGonnaSuck you should just expect that going in.]] Also, there is the disquieting but [[SeriousBusiness debated]] idea that, as [[http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=496400 Dan Savage points out]], an animal cannot give consent... You know... In case you weren't already reaching for the BrainBleach.

For some reason, the [[LandOfMyFathersAndTheirSheep Welsh]] appear to be the most {{Acceptable Target|s}} for this trope, especially concerning sheep. The same also commonly applies to people from Dumfries and Aberdeen among the British. Also, Australians and New Zealanders seem to be fond of accusing each other of excessive fondness for said animal. Sometimes also alleged toward Bedouins and other groups who have long nights alone in the desert with no company except goats and camels. The American version is usually aimed at rednecks.

For the trope where people remember something naughty the character did and ''nothing else'' about the character who did it, see NeverLiveItDown.

Compare ExtremeOmnisexual. A {{Subtrope}} of UnequalPairing.

[[noreallife]]

----!!Examples:

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[[folder:Anime and Manga]]* ''LightNovel/FullMetalPanic: The Second Raid'' has a scene where Gates was apparently masturbating to the sight of ''kittens'' (that or he was watching something else and just switched channels when he was interrupted).* In ''LightNovel/ZeroNoTsukaima'', Louise famously accuses Saito of being willing to poke [[http://www.japanator.com/elephant/photo.phtml?post_key=8421&photo_key=4699 anything that stays still long enough]]: "Maid, dog, cat, goat!"* In ''Anime/NerimaDaikonBrothers'', both Ichiro and Yukika are ''very'' attracted to [[PandaingToTheAudience Pandaikon]].* Sorta played around in ''Manga/MyBalls'' with Asmodeus, the sheep demon and Kohta at one instance. May also count for Beezlebub, Lamia and Minotaur.* ''VisualNovel/{{Tsukihime}}'' made an AscendedMeme out of the line "That's all right... A cat is fine, too". (Context: A dojinshi portrays Shiki as a MemeticMolester who wants to do [[BlackComedyRape terrible things]] to Len. When Len tries to escape via transforming into a cat, Shiki utters that immortal line.)* In the "[[Recap/LupinIIIS2E35 Gorilla Tactics]]" episode of ''Manga/LupinIII'', Lupin (in disguise) taunts Zenigata about an unwanted affectionate encounter he had with a gorilla the previous evening.* ''BlackButler'': Pluto, a [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent Hell Hound]], can transform from a giant silver dog into an attractive young man on a whim, and seems to prefer [[InnocentFanserviceGirl running around naked]]. He and Angela are in a sexual relationship. [[InterspeciesRomance Not SO bizarre, right?]] Wait, did we mention that his mind is also [[{{Squick}} dog-like in human form]]? [[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]* The joke at the top of the page is replicated nearly word for word in ''Comicbook/{{Transmetropolitan}}'' (except it's a janitor in a convention hall and not a farmer) with throwaway character "Bill Chimpfucker".* ''CartoonHistoryOfTheUniverse'' describes the process of domestication thus: "Men and sheep grew ''very'' close".-->'''Shepherd''' (hugging a sheep): Darling!\\'''Sheep''': Wha-a-a-at?** Later:-->'''Chicken''': None of that funny stuff with ME, pal!* Mr. Rictus from the MarkMillar comic mini-series ''Comicbook/{{Wanted}}''-->'''Mr. Rictus''': "[[IResembleThatRemark I do not fuck goats]], Mr. Gibson. [[CrossesTheLineTwice I make love to them.]]"** In the Brazilian translation, it's actually kangaroos.** This eventually led to the famous ''Comicbook/{{Nextwave}}'' cover parody of the ''Comicbook/CivilWar'' event, which read "Mark Millar Licks Goats". Millar apparently took it in stride.* Deconstructed in Creator/AlanMoore's ''Comicbook/SwampThing'' run. After pictures of her and (the admittedly anthropomorphic) Swamp Thing are shown in newspapers, Abigail Cable is arrested for her relationship and charged with "crimes against nature", the laws that would usually be used to prosecute the aforementioned screwers of farm animals. She's arrested, fired from her job, her reputation is ruined, everyone starts treating her like a horrible sex offender, and Swampy is forced to cover almost the entirety of Gotham in greenery in order to secure her release. It is up to Batman to point out that if the authorities are going to arrest everyone in Franchise/TheDCU who has a relationship with a non-human, and it's the delivery that just ''nails'' it as a '''literal''' SpaceWhaleAesop. Eventually we '''''will''''' run into intelligent non-humans, and perhaps the biggest part of WhatMeasureIsANonHuman is whether or not we believe them - or they believe us - worthy of [[ThePowerOfLove love]].-->'''Batman:''' I '''mean''', if you want to take this all the '''way''', '''non-humanity''' doesn't ''end'' with the ''Swamp Thing''. Let me '''see...''' You'll possibly have to arrest '''{{Hawkman}}...''' and '''ComicBook/{{Metamorpho}}...''' ...And there's also '''Starfire''', from the '''[[Comicbook/TeenTitans Titans]]'''. '''Her''' race evolved from '''{{cat|Girl}}s''', I believe... The '''MartianManhunter''', obviously. {{Comicbook/Captain|Atom}} '''[[Comicbook/CaptainAtom Atom]]'''... And then of course there's '''what's-his-name'''... the one who lives in '''[[Franchise/{{Superman}} Metropolis]]'''.** Played to comedic effect in the DC Universe-based online role-plays of JLA_Watchtower and Roleplay/DCNation. The characters are taking the 5,000-question online "purity test," and Gar Logan's girlfriend (an OC who is an animal-based shape-shifter like he is) quips, "Honey, just how DO we answer those bestiality questions?"* Also gets a deconstructive nod in ''Comicbook/{{X-Men}}.'' Beast's already blue and furry, but when he undergoes a secondary mutation that leaves him looking more feline than hominid, his girlfriend breaks up with him because the tabloids start comparing the relationship to bestiality.* A favorite of GarthEnnis, particularly in ''{{Preacher}}'', where Jesus de Sade, the world's wealthiest and most accomplished pervert, is offered an armadillo on a silver platter by his manservant. De Sade is also stated to have sodomized all the city zoo's larger quadrupeds, leading to the armadillo incident above. Also, during the party thrown by De Sade, we see a guy in the stocks surrounded by sheep, saying "Do it, you sluts!".** ''{{Preacher}}'' is chock full of people having sex with weird stuff, including but not limited to: A chicken, a salmon, an armadillo, [[CargoShip a birthday cake]] and a [[NauseaFuel bunch of meat stacked up to vaguely resemble a giant woman]]. At least 3 of these by the same character.* In ''Franchise/{{Batman}}: Dark Allegiances'', an {{Elseworld}}s story set in the 1930s, one character keeps insinuating that there is a blue movie of actress Kitty Graymalkin (a.k.a. Comicbook/{{Catwoman}}) having unnatural relations with a Rottweiler.* ''Ramba'': In one scene in "Violent Death", Ramba has her pet cat Lucifer lick her vagina after finding out she has another target to assassinate.* ''{{Inverted|Trope}}'' by the Italian comic book ''{{Rat-Man}}'', where it's the ''sheep'' who never lived down having sex with Rat-Man!* Cherry has sex with a dolphin in one issue of ''Cherry Comics''.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Fic]]* ''FanFic/ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen'' features Jasper Cullen having a threesome with a human named Vince and the MarySue heroine's sidekick. This would be all very well, if not for the fact that the sidekick is an apparently non-anthropomorphic panda.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film]]* ''Film/{{Black Sheep|TheMovie}}''. The older brother's relationship with a certain sheep has a bonus of being {{incest|IsRelative}}uous.* The factor that changes the entire plot of ''Film/AmericanPie Presents: Beta House''.* In ''{{Kingpin}}'', the heroes have Vanessa Angel {{distract|edByTheSexy}} bowling opponents. It mostly works, except with a team of farmers. So they bring in this sheep...* In ''{{Kinsey}}'', a sex researcher asks a heavily accented man about his first sexual experience, and he says what sounds like "with a horse." Stunned, the researcher asks more about the man's sexual experimentation with animals, to which the man exclaims "It's true, I fucked a pony. How did you know?" Turns out he had said "with ''whores''" the first time.** And then there's.... that one guy. [[ParentalIncest Who first time had a sex with his mother when he was ten]], and things go downhill from there; [[IncestIsRelative 14 members of his]] [[BrotherSisterIncest immediate family]], several thousand people, including hundreds of prepubescent children of both sexes, and [[AnythingThatMoves a whole list of various species of animals]].* ''PinkFlamingos'': Crackers sure does seem to have a thing for those chickens.* In a brief scene in the city from ''ConanTheBarbarian'', Conan and Subotai have a good laugh over a guy screwing a llama.* The 2009 ''Film/StarTrek'' movie has Uhura invoke this while snubbing Kirk's advances:-->'''Uhura:''' Oh, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.\\'''Kirk:''' Well, not ''only''.* The whole "Shepherd and shrink" part of ''Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask''. The sheep in lingerie! Yikes!* In ''Night on Earth'', a cab driver (Roberto Benigni) confesses to his priest passenger that he's had sex with both a pumpkin and a sheep, going into lurid detail about said acts. The confession proves too much for the priest to take, and he has a heart attack and dies.* In ''TheAnimal'' the protagonist (who has animal organs implanted in him) gets sexually attracted to a goat in heat, PlayedForLaughs.* This trope is the main joke in ''Film/FierceCreatures'', where a comedy of errors occurs that repeatedly involves JamieLeeCurtis walking in on Creator/JohnCleese, women, and various livestock.** It also has KevinKline mistaking the "contact" between Jamie and a gorilla.* ''{{Film/District 9}}'': After Wikus flees the CorruptCorporateExecutive and his goons, the media reports that he was seeking out alien whores and contracted an STD. Every human he talks to after that for the rest of the movie comments on his alien sex, which they think was the cause of [[spoiler:Wikus' steady transformation into an alien]]. Totally justified in that thanks to MNU's propaganda, that's all anyone ''did'' know about Wikus.* In one film version of Vilhelm Moberg's ''TheEmigrants'', one of the main characters begs to be taken along to America because everyone back home torments him about his suggested trysts with a cow. It's fairly likely it's just an unsubstantiated tale, but that doesn't stop it from ruining his life.* In ''Far and Away'', Joseph uses this trope to insult his drunken brothers when they start giving him trouble.-->'''Joseph:''' Shag off, the pair of you. There's a goat over there. Go improve your love life.* This trope is the premise of the film SleepingDogsLie, which is about a woman who once performed fellatio on her dog in college and the ramifications of telling her boyfriend.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Folk Lore]]* A number of rulers and other high-ups have been slandered by more or less fabricated accusations of zoophilia.* The Old Testament forbids shepherds from going out alone (making them leave in pairs) specifically to prevent this "abomination," and Exodus has a bit about those who lie down with beasts.* While it's not folklore per se, there is a long tradition of nations and cultures accusing their neighbors of sleeping with animals. This continues into the modern day. Consider the relationship between New Zealand and Australia or Scotland, England and Wales; in [[EagleLand the U.S.]], the [[FlyoverCountry Rural Midwest]] and the DeepSouth are the usual targets. For some reason it quite often seems to be sheep.** One of the standard jokes: "Country X, where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous."** Another standard joke: "In Country X, they recently discovered another use for sheep. Wool!"** And "Why do [=CountryXers=] have sex on clifftops? The sheep push back harder."** In most countries, it's "Hey you, get off my cloud." But [[InSovietRussiaTropeMocksYou in Scotland]], it's "Hey [=McLeod=], get off my ewe!"** What do you call a sheep tethered to a lamppost in Cardiff? A rec centre.** Why do Scots wear kilts? Because the sheep started running when they heard a zipper.** In modern Russian folklore, people from Caucasus and Central Asia are referred to as "sheep/goat/donkey fuckers". A typical joke goes something like this: Why do Georgians have two donkeys in a stable, a larger and a smaller one? The larger one is for adults to "ride"; the [[CrossesTheLineTwice smaller one is for children]].** Hungarians are notorious for their elaborate cusswords and one of the nastiest goes something like "I wish you were ass-raped by a horse" (literally: "A horse's dick up your arse"). Another Hungarian expression is one that urges the other person to have oral sex with a horse. It means, roughly, "screw you". The latter is considered very vulgar, but the first can also be used jokingly, depending on social context.* It's thought that Witches in their Sabbath had sex with demons in the form of animals, including {{Satan}} as a black goat.* When someone asks what career you want, mention [[AcceptableProfessionalTargets marine biology.]] [[SchmuckBait Go ahead, I dare you.]] [[FanDumb Some people]] are under the delusion that people go into this profession want to do [[{{Squick}} naughty things with fish, dolphins, and]] (of course) [[NaughtyTentacles cephalopods]]. Needless to say, actual marine biologists (and people who actually want to be actual marine biologists) are [[BerserkButton not amused]].** The same rule of thumb goes for the technical term for livestock farming - Animal Husbandry.* [[ClassicalMythology The Minotaur]] apparently came about because King Minos' wife had sex with a bull. [[/folder]]

[[folder:Jokes]]* Presumed {{Trope Namer|s}}:-->''A young man is walking through a small village one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old man, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, "Hey old timer, why the long face?"''\\''The old man looks at him and points out the window, "See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me [=McGregor=] the dockbuilder? No, no."''\\''The old man continued, "And see that ship out there? I've been fishing these waters for my village for 35 years! But do they call me [=McGregor=] the fisherman? No, no."''\\''[[RuleOfThree The old man continued]], "And see all the crops in the farms out there? I planted and have been farming those crops for my village for nearly 45 years! But do they call me [=McGregor=] the farmer? No, no."''\\''The old man starts to cry again, "[[NeverLiveItDown But you screw]] '''[[NeverLiveItDown one goat]]'''..."''* The {{Trope Namer|s}} might be the following joke as well:** A Viking is standing on a mountain overlooking a seaside village and screaming his rage at the gods: - I have felled all the trees to make place for our village! But do the call me "Lumberjack"? - I have built all the houses of the village! But do they call me "Builder"? - I have built all the boats! But do they call me "Shipwright"? - I have caught enough fish to feed the village for a winter! But do they call me "Fisher"? - I have led Vikings into battle and brought them home, safe and rich! But do they call me "Warlord"? - Ye Gods, where is your justice? I have only once screwed just a single goat!* Theres a military joke about a young (Army/Marine) Lieutenant's first time in Iraq, with the punchline being his Sergeant explains that he was supposed to ride the camel into town to pay a hooker.** That's only the latest update of a joke that's at least as old as colonialism in the Middle East.* Another joke describes a young shepherd who, lonely with the long hours alone in the fields with his sheep, was horrified to find himself starting to cast sideways glances at his charges. He asked an older, more experienced shepherd for advice, and was told to train a vicious dog to attack him if he started disrobing around the sheep. He did so, but the loneliness continued, until one day he heard a woman screaming off in the distance. Tracking down its source, he found a beautiful maiden who had been chased up a tree by a pack of wolves. After the shepherd and his dog chased away the wolves, the maiden asked if there were anything she could do to repay him. "Actually there is," he replied. [[spoiler:"Can you keep this dog distracted for about ten minutes?"]]* A similar joke goes: a tired traveler is crossing a vast desert on his camel, and thinks to himself, "I haven't had sex for days...I'll make do with this camel." However, the camel won't stay still to allow him to have sex with it. Suddenly, three beautiful women appear out of nowhere. "You look lost," one says. "Can I help you?" Yes, the traveler says. "Could you please help me hold down the camel?"* A gentleman stops by a biker bar and notices a large jar full of twenty dollar bills sitting on a high shelf. He asks the bartender about it, and the bartender tells him that anyone who likes can put a twenty in the jar and then attempt to win the pot by completing three tasks: defeating the toughest biker in the bar in a fistfight, performing some amateur dentistry on the bartender's vicious dog which has a sore tooth, and sexually satisfying the bartender's hideously ugly nymphomaniac wife. The man drops a twenty in the jar, walks over to the biker and knocks him out with one punch. He strides confidently the back room, where the bartender hears his dog give out the most pitiful howl he's ever heard. The man returns and asks the bartender, [[spoiler: "Okay, now where's that ugly lady with the sore tooth?"]]** There's a variation of that in Finland: A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian were visiting Greenland, and decided to have a wager of toughness: they had to drink a keg of vodka, kill a polar bear barehanded and make love to an Eskimo woman. The Swede and the Norwegian failed in humiliating ways, but the Finn drank down the entire keg and left off to find a polar bear. Hours later he comes back covered in tears and scratches and asks: [[spoiler:"Nhow wheresh that Eshkhimo I wash shupposhed to kill?"]]*** The same joke is told with a [[EverythingIsBigInTexas Texan]] who went to Alaska, and was given the same challenge.** There's also a variation in Brazil: Mussum of [=OsTrapalhões=] tried to join a gang and was told that, in order to join, he had to complete three tasks: drinking a whole bottle of (the troper isn't sure of the kind of alcoholic beverage) at once, cut off the tail of a lion caged near the bar where he and the gang were having the challenge, and kissing the ugly bartender ten times. He could do the tasks in any order he chose and started with the drinking challenge. Mussum then left the bar to search for the lion. Upon returned, he mentioned he had just finished kissing the lion and would now cut the woman's tail.* An American anthropologist has been studying a tribe in Africa by living with them for a year. One day, the chief called him into the chief's hut. The chief sighed. "Well, my friend, it seems that we must ask you to leave." The anthropologist was surprised by this; he thought he had gained the tribe's trust. "Why, what's the matter?" he stammered. "It seems that a woman in our tribe has given birth to a baby... a white baby," said the chief. The anthropologist began to laugh. "Oh, is that all? No, that's just a classic case of albinism. It's caused by inheriting recessive pigment genes and..." The chief didn't look convinced, so he pointed at a nearby flock of sheep. "See those sheep? All of them are white except for that one. It's like that!" The chief was silent for a moment and said, [[spoiler:"Listen, you don't talk about the sheep, and I won't talk about the baby."]]* A man goes to a bawdy house and asks the proprietor what "services" he can get for five dollars. "Five dollars?!" says the proprietor. "That's all I have," says the customer. "Very well," says the proprietor, "follow me." He takes the man to a small room containing nothing but a chicken. "What am I supposed to do with ''that''?" asks the man. "Hey, you came here for sex," says the proprietor, "and you get what you pay for." He leaves, and the man, disgusted but desperate, has sex with the chicken. The next week, he comes back and asks what he can get for ten dollars. "Follow me," says the proprietor. He takes the customer to a room where a number of men are watching a peep show. The customer looks through a peephole and sees a man having sex with a sheep. He joins his fellow customers in derisive laughter. Nudging the man beside him, he says, "Boy, what a pathetic sicko that guy is, huh?" "That's nothing," says the other. [[spoiler:"Last week there was a guy in there screwing a chicken."]]* A farmer, trying to improve his mind, takes up reading in his spare time. Every time he comes across an unfamiliar word, he jots it down so he can ask the minister, who's the most educated person in the village. One day he sees the minister walking by, waves him over, and hands him the list. "Reverend," he says, "can you tell me what these words mean?" The minister patiently defines them one by one, then blushes and hesitates as he comes to the last word. "Come on, Reverend," says the farmer. "Don't be bashful. What does 'bestiality' mean?" "Er...well," says the minister, "it refers to the forbidden and disgusting act of intimate relations with beasts, such as sheep, goats, and chickens." "Ewww," says the farmer. [[spoiler:"Chickens?"]]* During the Bush Administration, First Lady Laura Bush told on television a joke about George milking a horse.* The three biggest lies in <<name the place you're insulting>>:** 1. I own my own car/truck/etc.** 2. I know who my dad is** 3. I was just helping that sheep over a fence.* In France, the [[LegionOfLostSouls French Foreign Legion]] is often jokingly associated with goats.* An American researcher comes to England to study farming. On his travels he hears about the practice of sheep fornication. He goes around Yorkshire asking farmers "Do you have intercourse with sheep?" As you can expect, the farmers are insulted, demanding he leave and slamming the door in his face. Just as he is about to give up, one man he asks looks around and answers "yes, and I'll answer your questions so long as you can promise you won't reveal anything about me". So the researcher asks "well...how do you do it?" The farmer replies "you put the back legs in your boots and the front legs on a wall and go from there." From there, the researcher goes to Wales, where he asks the same question. The first farmer he meets boldly responds "yes!". Again, the researcher asks how, and the Welshman responds "You put the back legs in your boots and the front legs over your shoulders and go from there". The researcher says "Thats interesting, because in Yorkshire a man said back legs in boots and front over a wall". [[CrossesTheLineTwice "What?!" replies the Welshman, "No kissing?!"]]* A farmer went to a psychiatrist, complaining that he was being sexually aroused by his horse. "I see", said the psychiatrist, "Is the horse a stallion or mare?" "Mare, of course!" answered the farmer angrily; "Do you take me for some kind of pervert?"* A tourist is visiting New Zealand. While driving in the countryside, he spots a farmer with his sheep. The tourist asks, "Are you shearing that sheep?" The farmer replies, "No, get your own. I'm not sharing her with anyone!"* "No [[MickeyMouse Mickey]], you can't divorce Minnie because she's silly." "I didn't say she was silly, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin I said she was fucking Goofy!"]]* Two New Zealandian pilots are flying a flock of sheep. Suddenly, the plane starts going down because of engine trouble. The first pilot says "We gotta jump out, get your parachute!" "But what about the sheep?" asks the second. "''Fuck'' the sheep!" shouts the first. The second responds: "You think we have the time?"* A man arrives in a Gold Rush boom town, and asks in the saloon what they do for entertainment, since there are no women in the town. He's told there's a flock of sheep, and everyone has sex with them. The new arrival is horrified by this, but as the days go on he gets more and more desperate. Finally he decides that if he's going to do it, he's going to do it right, so he chooses a sheep, dresses it up, and takes it to the saloon for a drink. When he arrives, everything goes silent, and all the patrons stare at him in shock. Embarassed he stammers "I was told everyone here did it!" "Yeah," comes the reply, "but we don't pick up the sheriff's girl!"[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]* Played for laughs in ''[[Literature/LambTheGospelAccordingToBiff Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal]]'', when in which the Messiah asks a ship captain about sex ([[ChasteHero as he has been told he won't ever know a woman]]). The captain responds, "Oh, you want to know about [[ClusterFBomb fucking? I've fucked]] women, young boys, sheep, horses, the odd turtle..." Jesus' friend drags him away from the captain, prompting Christ to ask why he can't learn from the captain. The friend can only respond by stuttering, muttering "God, a turtle" and taking Jesus below deck. ([[ChekhovsGag Throughout the rest of the story, turtle-sex is periodically referenced.]])** Later in the book, a Hindu man is depicted having sex with a cow, claiming that it is the reincarnation of his wife.* The first book of the {{Aubrey-Maturin}} series has a mention of a sailor who gets caught buggering a goat, meaning he will be hanged, and the poor goat slaughtered. When Jack doesn't want to deal with the situation and its inevitable impact on the rest of the crew, Stephen suggests he just put them ashore: "separate shores, if you feel strongly about the moral issue."** It gets [[CrowningMomentOfFunny better]], when Jack offers Stephen some milk in his coffee: "Goat's milk?" "Why, yes, I suppose so." "Perhaps without milk, then..."* The novel ''{{Beloved}}'' [[PlayedForDrama plays this completely seriously]]. The slaves on the farm have sex with cows because they have no prospect of sleeping with a woman.* In ''The Journeyer,'' by Gary Jennings, a historical novel about the life and travels of Marco Polo, the slave Nostril first makes his appearance being dragged behind a panicked mare which he had been assigned to groom and to which he had been chained. Nostril's proclivities get more creative as the novel progresses.* Played rather seriously in Balzac's novella ''A Passion in the Desert'' where a man's relationship with a leopard he domesticates is presented in romantic terms.* Ditto for the main character and his horse in ''[[HeraldsOfValdemar Brightly Burning]]'' by Creator/MercedesLackey. Of course, since the horse is a TalkingAnimal, it's not quite as perverted.** He and his Companion are in love with each other, but he only ever [[IncrediblyLamePun mounts]] her in the usual equine sense. The heralds probably would have had something to say, otherwise...** It should be noted that Companions are the divinely reincarnated souls of dead (human) Heralds. This might help make it less creepy.* In the StephaniePlum book series, Stephanie's cousin Vinnie was once "in love" with a duck.** Vinnie is the butt of this joke quite often. In one of Stephanie's monologues he's said to sleep with anything: Women, Men, Dogs, Goats...** There's also a persistent rumor about Joyce's alleged fondness for dogs...* Ferrol Sams' book ''Run With The Horseman'' has the character nicknamed "Moo Cow" for this reason.* Creator/JohnRingo plays with this quite literally in ''[[Literature/PaladinOfShadows Unto the Breach]]'', where one of the village elders essentially comments that [[NeverLiveItDown it was just one goat...]]* From ''The Xenophobe's Guide To The Welsh'', a joke apparently told by the Welsh themselves:-->"Have you heard? Old Jones the farmer has been found interfering with a sheep!"\\"Good heavens! A male sheep or a female sheep?"\\"Female. There's nothing funny about Jones."* In one of Creator/MarionZimmerBradley's Lythande stories, through the story she constantly hears and sometimes contemplates the insult "You molester of virgin goats!" In the finale when she's confronted by a fellow member of her order who's seen evidence to let him possibly guess she's female (every member of their order has to keep one fact about themselves secret or lose their power), she starts yelling insults at him just to distract him, but when she uses the Virgin Goats one, the reaction on his face makes her immediately realize that that's HIS secret.* Joan Hess's Maggody mysteries contain joking references to this, many of them in regards to how Raz Buchanon dotes upon his pet pedigree sow, Marjorie. Internal monologue by [[spoiler: Robin Buchanon]], just before [[spoiler: her death]], indicates this character had trained the family dog to engage in some highly-questionable behavior.* Towards the end of ''[[TheTakeshiKovacsSeries Altered Carbon]]'', the main character is fighting his way through an exclusive hangout for sexual deviants, and he finds a battered-looking dog and a man who did ''something'' unpleasant to it (and who incidentally has his pants down.) The main character shoots the man in the head (nonlethal, given the futuristic setting, but quite an unpleasant experience.) This is treated as a PetTheDog moment.* ''TheEmigrants'' features a serious version. Arvid the farmhand gets into the bad graces of the farmer's old mother. To dirty Arvid's name, she spreads a rumor that he does unknowable things to one of the cows. This becomes Arvid's motivation to emigrate to America.* Creator/JohnDonne's "Satire IV", which skewers gossipy would-be courtly types, references this one:-->Who wasts in meat, in clothes, in horse, he notes;\\Who loves Whores, who boyes, and who goats.* Creator/IrvineWelsh's novella 'Lorraine Goes to Livingston' features excerpts [[ShowWithinAShow from a regency romance novel one of the characters is writing]] which features a hero who falls in love with a sheep after losing his wife. The hero's friends eventually have the sheep slaughtered and served to him in order to end the infatuation.* In ''[[TortallUniverse Protector of the Small]]'', lady-knight-in-training Kel and the King's Own have dealings with a herd of centaurs. Some of them went rogue and became bandits, and it's mentioned that the leader of the others is killing the "slaves" - horses - who were mounted by the renegades, believing that being mated with wicked centaurs ruins the horses. It doesn't help that earlier on, that same leader wanted to buy ''Kel'', seeing her as sturdy and possibly able to bear sons of his kind.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]* In the final episode of ''Series/{{Blackadder}} II'', the German Prince [[HughLaurie Ludwig]] reveals that the sheep [[StephenFry Melchett]] had... relations with, was actually him in brilliant disguise.** Subverted later in the episode, when he's revealing how he knows Queen Elizabeth. It really looks like he's going to reveal that he was her horse and she had sex with him, but then it turns out that he was the German stable lad, and she didn't sleep with him. Her relationship with the horse appears purely platonic.** In the premier episode of series one, Edmund is secretly nursing Henry Tudor back to health in his room, hoping for a reward. His mother comes in, and when Edmund implies that there is someone in his bed, the Queen asks if it is a sheep. He denies this. Later on, to keep her from checking the bed he makes bleating noises. Her response: "Oh, Edmund. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny It's the lying I find so hurtful]]."* On ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'', Uncle Nunzio and his 'pet' goat are repeatedly mentioned.* One character in the first episode of ''KrodMandoonAndTheFlamingSwordOfFire'' likes to have sex with horses.* In the ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'' episode "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", Captain John Hart expresses an attraction to poodles.-->'''Gwen:''' Do you ever stop?\\'''John:''' What, five minutes to live and you want me to behave? Oh, that's gorgeous...\\'''Gwen:''' That's a poodle!\\'''John:''' ''(growling)'' S'nice!* In one episode of ''Series/{{Mash}}'' [[TheVicar Mulcahy]] keeps trying to describe ''The Yearling'' (a film that was going to be shown) 'about a tender relationship between a boy and a young deer', and each time, the character ([[HypercompetentSidekick Radar]], [[AFatherToHisMen Potter]], etc.) would respond with a "Oh yeah, like my (relative), except it was with a (mule, horse)" with an implication that their relative had a more intimate fondness with their chosen animal.* ''Series/FatherTed'': "No, No, Dougal, we must keep away from the idea that we're in love with the horse. It's more that we're friends with the horse."* In ''Series/StrangersWithCandy'', Jerri Blank [[NoodleIncident never quite got to explain what it was she did with the donkey in Tijuana]], but... it's Jerri. This trope was definitely involved.* On ''Series/TheLeagueOfGentlemen'' the Tattsyrup family are said to have a bit of pig in their ancestry (which turns up in their noses), and Hilary Briss is married to a cow. The extent of their relationship is unclear.** A Local Book For Local People makes it [[FromBadToWorse somewhat clearer]].* In ''Series/PhoenixNights'', there is strong innuendo that Keith Lard (a fire safety officer from Bolton) is into bestiality. He is led away by police, only to be released when an Alsatian fails to testify. In real life, Channel 4 had to apologize to Keith La'''i'''rd (a fire safety officer from Bolton) who claimed that his reputation was damaged by this show.* Due to {{Moral Guardian|s}} standards and limited dialogue potential, this is one of the few sex crimes that has never been featured on ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit''. It has, however, been referenced in dialogue between sex-crimes investigators. "His father caught him alone with his new bride, Missy. Missy's a German shepherd."* ''{{Manswers}}'' has taken this trope to its extreme, by investigating which animal's genitalia bear the closest resemblance to those of a human woman. Sheep were, of course, among the candidates researched. (Their conclusion? If you're kinky enough to care, it's [[spoiler: the dugong. At least, it could explain the MermaidProblem.]])* In the first season of ''Series/TheMightyBoosh'' many "intimate liaisons" with the zoo animals were implied. Howard warns Vince in one episode, not to get to close to any of the animals in the zoo bringing up the example of a (literal) fox in a nearby cage. which apparently was a "Mistake" according to Howard. Apparently in the Mighty Boosh world bestiality is a scandal more like a professor sleeping with a graduate student than how it's viewed in real life...** This is probably because animals in the Boosh-verse are sapient. Most of them can talk, and are of comparable intelligence to the human characters. Not only are they capable of consenting to sex with humans, more than often they are the ones who ''instigate'' it (who can forget the scene where Vince gets raped by that panda?).* In ''SonsOfAnarchy'' after Tig spills his bike during a charity run and requires medical attention he's picked-up at the hospital by bounty-hunters over an outstanding warrant in Oregon. The charge? ...indecent exposure in a livestock transport.* Owen, on ''Series/TheVicarOfDibley'', is initially implied to do this. When Radio Dibley ran a ''Moral Maze'' style programme on the topic "Is Sex With Poodles ''Always'' Wrong?", he was the one speaking in favour. By the end of the series, they'd done away with all pretense and flatout stated he was regularly having sex with animals, calling a sheep his girlfriend in one episode. Jim was also stated to be at least attracted to sheep. Luckily, by that point RefugeInAudacity had become a staple for pretty much every character who wasn't Geraldine or David.* Referenced in ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'':-->'''Dr Cox''': Don'cha see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.\\'''Elliot''': Dolphin ''trainer'' sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.\\'''Dr. Cox''': Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you ''so'' interesting.** Another reference with that dolphin trainer:-->'''Sean''': Why are things so much easier with dolphins?\\'''Elliot''': Probably because you're not trying to date the dolphin.\\'''Sean''': Oh, God, no. Not after that big talk they gave us.** And again with JD when there's a rumor about JD being into bestiality because he practiced kissing on Rowdy (JD and Turk's dead stuffed dog).* In ''LifeOnMars'', Chris and Ray make sheep noises at a prisoner ("Dicky Fingers") they're picking up for transport. When Sam asks why, Chris refers to this trope. Later, as they're driving, Chris points out a lamb; Dicky responds, "[[EvenEvilHasStandards What d'you think I am, a nonce?]]" ("Nonce" being UK slang for child molester.)* ''BostonLegal'': Denny was shown repeatedly to have a thing for sheep.** Also, there was that thing with that camel that one time in the military... The camel, apparently, had no complaints.** In another episode, a client has an affair with Wendy... his cow. Which at one point leads Schmidt to say, "But you screw one cow..."* Subverted with the usual sense of taste in an episode of ''TheSarahSilvermanProgram''. Sarah is arrested for bestiality when she's caught licking her dog's asshole... which she only does because [[{{Squick}} apparently, it tastes delicious]].* The performers on ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' tend to [[RunningGag default to sheep]] if they ever bring up this trope.** Colin's apparently random bestiality cracks are a RunningGag of sorts. ([[http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwHxLuqwpQ This]] clip is [[CrowningMomentOfFunny a shining example]].)** Ryan manages to outdo him [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij-rnUMh8as#t=1m18s by pure accident]]...-->'''Ryan''': (playing Tarzan) Before you come, [[UnEntendre Tarzan only have animals]]...\\* audience groans loudly as Ryan tries to continue, [[ThatCameOutWrong cracking him up]]*\\'''Ryan''': I mean as friends!** It should be noted that the UK series wasn't above this (as the mention of Welsh in the foreword indicates), and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBK1rMmoANI&feature=related merely picking 'sheep' for a suggestion made the jokes unavoidable]].-->Jim Sweeney: (translating Josie's [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign faux-Albanian]]) "I like to stroke the big ones... Some of those sheep play really hard-to-get... (catches Josie in an [[NotWhatItLooksLike unfortunate gesture]]) ...I think that speaks for itself..."** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jz-NTAsDyQ "I'll give you one point for every time the sheep sound excited me..."]] [[hottip:*:Which might actually be a case of HoYay instead, given that Ryan was making said sound...]]** In one game of ''Let's Make a Date'' Colin was given the character of a man who "gets turned on by danger" and Ryan was a "ravenous" boa contrictor. It was played erotically almost from the start.* ''Series/RedDwarf'': Lister complains that he's personally broken four of the five holy commandments he supposedly passed down to the Cat people; "I'd've broken the fifth, but there's no sheep on board."* Mentioned in ''Series/TheThickOfIt'' when Malcolm gives Olly a bollocking for questioning one of his more unscrupulous schemes: "Don't start with the moral objections, you fuckin' BluePeter badge-wearing ponce! Go and make a contribution to fuckin' Amnesty International! Go and buy a goat that a whole village can [[LastSecondWordSwap fuck]]!"* Corky from ''Series/MurphyBrown'' was first runner up at the Miss America contest, but got the crown when the winner was forced to resign. Why?-->'''Corky''': She told everyone she loved animals, but who would have thought to take her literally?* In one episode ([=s26e03=]) of ''HaveIGotNewsForYou'' Paul tells [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJVzH_iduHc this]] story of a badger.* ''Series/TheDailyShow'' started its [[http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-august-3-2009/thank-you--south-carolina- "Thank You South Carolina" segment]] after a man from there received press attention for having sex with a horse after having already pled guilty to having had sex with the same horse. And they happened to discover this on the heels of the Sanford scandal.** ''Series/TheColbertReport'' [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/343094/august-02-2010/alpha-dog-of-the-week---david-h--brooks covered]] the case of the absurd ConspicuousConsumption of [[CorruptCorporateExecutive military contractor David Brooks]] and managed to imply he's been raping his horses (because his reaction to the problem of a staffer testifying against him was to go to his racehorse veterinarian and ask for a "memory-erasing pill").* Gonzo of ''Series/TheMuppetShow'' has an on-again, off-again relationship with both anthropomorphic Muppet hen as well as real cows and hens.* Referenced in ''{{Lexx}}'': "It's all here. You have babes, boys, beasts, thinner, fatter, hunks, chunks, monks, twins dipped in batter, the wiggle, the jiggle, the oo-la-la, people to spank you, and sheep to go baa" - Schlemmi, Luvliner* One episode of ''{{QI}}'' has Stephen Fry ask, "What is the difference between a Carlisle Surprise, a Reverse Canterbury Delight, and a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff?" Welsh comedian Rob Brydon attacks Stephen for "institutionalized racism that is accepted when it's addressed at the Welsh," answers the last bit by saying you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff "a leisure center," then castigates the other panelists and the audience for laughing.** There's also a bit in another episode where Stephen Fry says the "You can get a lot from goats. You can get cheese, you can get wool you can get sex-"* A characteristically bizarre subversion on ''Series/{{House}}'': a teenage boy came to the clinic asking for drugs to kill his sex drive, claiming it was because he was very attracted to cows and didn't know how much longer he could hold out. Turned out it was actually his hot stepmother he was attracted to. And he didn't want to admit that. So he pretended he was into cows. Okay.** Also, one time, House was talking with Thirteen and another female doctor in his office, while on his computer. The female doctor looks at the computer screen (which cannot be seen) and gets a noticeably squicked out expression. House asks her, "do you have a problem with the naked female form?" Thirteen then says "I just don't think she's used to seeing it spooning with the naked ''dolphin'' form." This being House, it was most likely a ploy to get them to go away faster. Probably.** In another episode, a clinic patient has a skin condition normally found in horses and related quadrupeds. When she says she's an actress, House jumps to certain conclusions about her "art." [[spoiler:In fact, she is playing the Virgin Mary in a live-action Christmas pageant, in which she [[UnEntendre rides a donkey]].]]* In ''TrailerParkBoys'', Ricky randomly tries to make a joke about this to Julian, completely unrelated to what they were doing at the time.* Probably innumerable examples on ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'', but two that stand out include a census worker interviewing an addled ChristopherWalken, who reveals that his wife is a bobcat; and a spoof of daytime talk shows that send unruly teens to boot camps, in which ChristinaRicci plays a girl whose mother catches her playing with the family dog, and is afraid that she will give birth to "biracial dog babies".** On one show, Woody Harrelson heads a trio of lonesome singing cowboys - one lyric being "And the horse starts to look good by the campfire..."* On ''Series/BoyMeetsWorld'' there is a FlashForward to a potential future in which the whole gang had broken up and in this future [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Eric]] became an insane [[TheHermit hermit]] living in the woods who married a moose. Hopefully it was a platonic marriage...* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'' gives us the following exchange:-->'''Raj''': I'm telling you dude, the only way to make you feel better about Penny going out with other guys, is for you to get back on the whores.\\'''Howard''': ... "horse".\\'''Raj''': What?\\'''Howard''': The phrase is "get back on the horse"... not "whores".\\'''Raj''': That's disgusting, dude![[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]* Music/{{GWAR}}'s "Fuckin' an Animal" fits this in as strict a sense as possible. Their song "Sexecutioner" does so a little bit more subtly.* "Music/Dirty Deeds (Done with Sheep)" (a parody of an Music/{{ACDC}} song). That is all.* Music/WeirdAlYankovic. "Virus Alert". One of the dreaded features of the virus is that it will "make you physically attracted to sheep". Maybe not as bad as causing a major rift in time and space, but still...** The bickering couple in "Jerry Springer" have cheated on each other with (among others) her dog Woofie and his pet goat.-->"That goat doesn't love you!"* From Music/TomLehrer's introduction to his song "[[SouthOfTheBorder In Old Mexico]]": "His educational career began, interestingly enough, in agricultural school, where he majored in animal husbandry, until they.. caught him at it one day..."* From John Butler's "Hand of the Almighty"** - Now Ray was full aware/that some sheep were over there/and he knew them in the biblical sense!"* The many strange habits of Harald, in the Swedish song ''Haralds konstiga vanor'', apparently include getting a little too friendly with sheep.* Related: One Welsh singer (a thirteen-year-old girl) had her album recalled so that they could alter the cover. Why? She was standing in a field with sheep. Nobody wanted the obvious jokes made.* The infamous BawdySong, "The Good Ship Venus" has a verse about the ship's dog, Rover. You can pretty much guess what the pirate narrators do to the hound in question.* The Ivor Biggun song "Halfway Up Virginia" details the sexual exploits of a stereotypical hillbilly. The singer gleefully admits to having sex with 49 sheep, a mule, a golden retriever, a skunk, a woodchuck, an unspecified number of polecats, an unspecified number of raccoons, a hound dog, a groundhog, an opossum and pretty much anything that [[strike:moves]] doesn't run away fast enough. He then makes the following statement:-->"And every last one is female,\\'Cos there ain't nothing strange about me!"* "Baby Ice Dog" by Music/BlueOysterCult, in which it is implied that the narrator not only slept with, but also [[CrossesTheLineTwice pimped out his husky.]]* "So What?" by Anti-Nowhere League (popularized by Music/{{Metallica}}'s cover of it), includes, [[BawdySong among other obscenities]] "And I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat, I rammed my cock right down his throat!"* The Brazilian song "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOXpi1_mejQ Mundo Animal]]", by RefugeInVulgarity experts Mamonas Assassinas, opens with what could be translated as:-->Eating armadillo is good\\To bad it hurts your back\\The animal's too short\\That's why I prefer the goats** It should be noted that "eating" is a slang for, [[IntercourseWithYou you know...]]* Many of Music/WesleyWillis' songs deal with bestiality ("Suck a Cheetah's Dick", "Drink a Camel's Cum"). A schizophrenic, Willis believed that demons were tormenting him, and that the songs would disgust the demons enough to leave him alone.* The popular Ren Fair song [[IntercourseWithYou Roll Your Leg Over]] features the lyric:-->"Some people wonder why Scotsmen like sheep/ 'Tis only because [[GagPenis we need something that deep]]."* "The Lonely Shepherd" by Music/PigWithTheFaceOfABoy is about a shepherd who slept with another shepherd's wife, and then starts to feel a bit lonely...* The Spaniard song [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSjUR5IEBKM "La Cabra"]] (translated as "The Goat") from the gag band ''Los Farlopez'' is ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin [[spoiler:until ''they kill her'' after having too much sex with her.]][[/folder]]

[[folder:New Media]]* In ''WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog'', the Bad Reverend's audition for the Evil League of Evil had him asserting against rumors (and his own mutterings) that he would not molest Bad Horse.** And inverted when Bad Horse's letters include directions to "Make the Bad Horse gleeful/ Or [[UnusualEuphemism he'll make you his mare]]!"* Used in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr7OAAP-4-g this]] WebAnimation/YoutubePoop. (See 0:50)* Notable Aversion: For all [[NauseaFuel its]] [[BrainBleach other]] [[BodyHorror crimes]] and despite its name, "[[ShockSite Goatse.cx]]" does not concern this trope, or [[WordSaladTitle having anything even vaguely related to goats]]. This is because [[FunWithAcronyms Goatse is an abbreviation, which stands for (warning, vulgar)]] [[spoiler:[[FunWithAcronyms Guy Opens Ass To Show Everyone]]]].[[/folder]]

[[folder:Newspaper Comic Collections]]* In the book-only ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}'' collection ''Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless'', Dogbert says that a mother has a lifetime right to tell embarrassing stories about her children. Cut to a woman, seated beside her grown son, asking someone "Did I ever tell you about Jeffrey's first visit to the zoo?...Well, Jeffrey was just reaching puberty and still confused about a lot of things..." The son begs her in anguish to stop, but to no avail: "And to this day he's still banned from the monkey cage area."[[/folder]]

[[folder:ProfessionalWrestling]]* In October 1999, The Godfather tried to offer his hoes to Mideon before a match. Mideon stated "I don't do hoes, but do you have any farm animals?" Note that Mideon's former gimmick is that of Phineas I. Godwinn, a pig farmer.** Then there was the following month on Thanksgiving when he allegedly [[{{Squick}} had intercourse with a turkey]]...* On a 2010 episode of TNA [=iMPACT!=], Wrestling/RicFlair made one of his infamous rambling promos, wherein he claimed to have had sex with Zenyatta. A race horse.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Radio]]* In an episode of ''Radio/JustAMinute'' recorded in Cardiff, one of the panelists was challenged for "deviating from the subject" because he was talking about sheep. He quickly responded "But sheep aren't considered a deviation in Wales."[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]* CheechAndChong's skit "Hey Margaret" has the couple Harry (Chong) and Margaret (Cheech) watching a porno movie where, among other things, the lead actress has sex with a dog. Also, in "The Old Man In The Park", where the Old Man (Chong) tells the Punk (Cheech) that the Punk could be his son because "I used to fuck Buffalo. In fact, you look just like your momma."* One of JeffFoxworthy's "You Might be a Redneck"s is "If your parole states you can not own sheep".* Jim Gaffigan, in a hidden track at the end of the album "Doing My Time," plays a character who talks about how he is always reminded of fucking a donkey when he returns home. His excuse: "I was drunk and he mumbled something."* Creator/EllenDeGeneres did a bit about folks objecting to gay marriage stating "next thing, people will be marrying goats" and wondering why they always go there first thing. "Mom, Dad...this is Billy."* Joe Rogan: "You don't fuck sheep because they're hot. You do it because they're that high and no one's looking. Or there's a guy with a camera and he's giving you money."* In BobSaget's HBO Special ''That Ain't Right'', Bob goes on a long riff to randomly-picked audience member Jared, warning him about the dangers of fucking various animals, including goats, ostriches, turtles, and porcupines.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]* ''TabletopGame/{{Exalted}}'' features the Lunars, blessed of Luna and boon companions to the Solars. They generally have beast-like traits (including a "totem animal" they can change into at will), and with this comes the ability to breed [[HalfHumanHybrid Beastmen]]. Thing is, to do it, one of the parties has to be bestial, and the other party has to be humanoid... and the Lunars can be either.* The [[BeastMan Gangrel]] clan sourcebook for ''TabletopGame/VampireTheRequiem'' has a historian claiming that the first Gangrel were made when barbarian kings had relations with animals, and were born of ancient sorcery playing on the twisted beings that emerged. Mind you, [[MultipleChoicePast that may not be the truth]] (to put it mildly), but man, you can just see most of the clan walking out into sunlight if that turned out to be the truth, can't you?** [-''"[[HalfHumanHybrid The Conception]] of [[TabletopGame/WerewolfTheApocalypse the Garou]]"'', Size 2 (picture)\\[[TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade Gangrel Kindred]] roll Generation with difficulty of Willpower and suffer successes as Aggravated (reflexive Fortitude soak possible);\\[[MadOracle Malkavian Kindred]] roll Willpower with difficulty of '''9''' to resist [[LaughingMad laughing uncontrollably]];\\[[AristocratsAreEvil Ventrue Kindred]] roll the same roll as Malkavians to resist [[VomitIndiscretionShot thowing up]];\\[[TabletopGame/WerewolfTheApocalypse Garou and other Changing Breeds]] roll Willpower with difficulty of 8 to resist [[HeroicBSOD para]][[VillainousBSOD lysis]].\\[[CuriosityIsACrapshoot For the curious]],it's [[note]][[WildChild pre-embrace Ennoia (Gangrel Antedeluvian)]][=/=][[http://whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Ennoia her step-nephew.]][[/note]] Really. -]*** The Garou in the cWoD had wolves as Kinfolk as well as humans. So, bestiality is a part of life for most of the Tribes. [[/folder]]

[[folder:Theater]]* Edward Albee's ''The Goat or Who Is Sylvia''.* The Dauphin in Shakespeare's ''Theatre/HenryV'' is rather disconcertingly fond of his horse:-->'''Dauphin:''' I once writ a sonnet in his praise and began thus: "Wonder of nature --"\\'''Constable:''' I have heard a sonnet begin so to one's mistress.\\'''Dauphin:''' Then did they imitate that which I composed to my courser, for my horse is my mistress.** The dialogue continues in this vein for quite a while.* In ''Rimers of Eldritch'', Skelly Manor first appears onstage with local boys baaing at him. Nothing explicit is stated and nothing is ever proven. It's used more to demonstrate Skelly's isolation from the town and how rumors move through it.* Played for tragedy in ''Our Breath is as Light as a Hummingbird's Spine'', since there's no way to have sex with a bird. However, the main character does glue feathers and a beak onto a sex toy. (Decide for yourself whether that's {{Squick}}, unintentionally funny, or just as pathetic as it's supposed to be.)* The play ''Theatre/{{Equus}}'' by Peter Schaffer concerns a young stablehand's issues with being virtually incapable to distinguish between affection for horses and sexual attraction, thanks to a screwed-up childhood. It being a drama piece, it's also pretty disturbing.* In ''Theatre/RockOfAges'', Dennis Du Pree uses this trope to convince Stacee Jaxx to play at his bar.-->'''Dennis:''' Remember the time we fucked that llama?* This Troper was involved in a variety show where this trope was used almost verbatim. In this skit, a man is trying to get into the gates of heaven. He was a philanthropist and devout Christian, and he isn't sure why he's being denied entry.-->'''St Peter:''' Remember, God sees all.\\'''Man:''' Then you know about the-\\'''St Peter:''' Yep.\\'''Man:''' And the-\\'''St Peter:''' Yep.\\'''Man:''' And that one time...\\'''St Peter:''' Heh, we got that one on tape!\\'''Man:''' But...but she was eighteen!\\'''St Peter:''' Still a goat.\\[beat][[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]* A quest to disgrace a supermodel in ''VideoGame/VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines'' results in catching her in a threesome with a llama.* In ''[[VideoGame/TotalWar Rome: Total War]]'', if your general is constantly out on campaign, his retinue may eventually include a Pet Sheep.-->"Being away from home and loved ones... can be a lonely life."* In ''VideoGame/NoOneLivesForever'', when advancing through the corridors of the BigBad's base, you hear a man whispering love words to ''someone'', something like: "Now we are all alone..." Then you open a door and find that man alone with a goat. The man says: "Oh, hi...um, how did this goat got in here?" You have the option of shooting them both.** Also, you find references to H.A.R.M. goons and their, ahem, “recreation” with sheep throughout the game.* From ''VideoGame/{{Fallout 3}}'': The G.O.A.T. Whisperer.** From ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'', you got Cook-cook, one of the [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast fiends]] leaders. Flamethrower wielding pyromaniac, psychotic, rapist, goes berserk when you kill Queenee, his Brahmin. It's not stated outright, but heavily implied he screwed it.* In ''{{VideoGame/Arcanum|OfSteamworksAndMagickObscura}}'', you can visit a brothel. Turn down the offer for a girl a few times, [[TwinThreesomeFantasy you get two]]. Turn that one down, you get... a sheep.* In ''VideoGame/{{Overlord}}'', at one point you and your minions bust into the headquarters of a succubus-worshiping sex cult. Bust down one of the locked doors in the headquarters, and you'll find several cultists and a sheep.* In ''VideoGame/BlackAndWhite'', at one point you're asked to get specific supplies to help a troupe of very poor singers finish building their boat (specifically, wood and food). However, you can also drop off various other things, including a sheep. This elicits the response "Ah, a sheep! Sheep have many uses... and the voyage is long...".** Ironically, if you drop off a woman, the response is much less enthusiastic.*** They were likely trying to keep in theme with the time period and its superstitions. (Not that it wasn't merited, as you could always expect the ratio of men to outweigh the women. It was better to just ignore the problems such a situation could present.)* ''[[VideoGame/AssassinsCreedII Assassin's Creed II]]'' has a mission where you deliver a message to a farmer, invoking [[Literature/TheBible Leviticus 18:23]]. You can guess what it refers to...* In the video game of ''Film/MontyPythonsTheMeaningOfLife'', there's a part where clicking on something brings up "goat porn", and then EricIdle starts yelling about, "Hey, everyone, look here right now! This guy likes goats!"* Occurs within the first playable minute of ''RogueWarrior'':-->'''MissionControl:''' What's your status?\\'''Dick Marcinko:''' It's a total goatfuck!** As for what "goatfuck" means in Marcinko-ese, it means things have gone completely fubar.* In ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'', if you try to talk to Mordin in the ''Normandy'', you may get this exchange:-->'''Shepard:''' Have you got a minute to talk?\\'''Mordin:''' Perhaps later. Trying to determine how Scale-itch got onto ''Normandy''. Sexually transmitted disease only carried by varren. Implications...''unpleasant''...** Current bets that [[ExtremeOmnisexual Kelly]] ''isn't'' somehow responsible are twenty to one, despite [[WMG/PoisonOakEpilepticTrees few wanting it]] [[PerverseSexualLust to actually be true]].* ''VideoGame/DragonAge: Origins'' has a brothel, the Pearl, where you can sleep with anything, ''anything''. When the Madam is told to "Surprise Me", one of the random options has you waking up in a daze with a goat that looks at you funny.** In both the preceding and ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'', a "Surprise Me" may end with two nugs (some kind of rabbit/pig hybrid) that "avoid eye contact, trying to look busy".* ''VideoGame/{{Gothic}}'' has the annoying Mud, who follows you everywhere while telling annoying stories about himself. Among other things, he mentions that he was thrown in the prison colony for "liking animals too much".** One of the ways in which you can taunt the warrior Kharim is suggesting that his father was having "fun" with sheep. Kharim's reply is an embarrassed "well, there were rumors..."* One of the random conversations that {{N|onPlayerCharacter}}PCs can have in ''VideoGame/TheDarkness'' is one NPC asking if he gave a moose a million dollars to have sex with him, would it work?-->'''Guy 1:''' If I gave a moose a million dollars would it have sex with me?\\'''Guy 2:''' Well it would have to some sort of genetically engineered smart moose for it to work.\\'''Guy 1:''' Where could I find such a moose?\\'''Guy 2:''' Sweden is open about sexuality so they probably allow bestiality as well.\\'''Guy 1:''' Heh-heh...naughty Swedish mooses...* There is something of a RunningGag among the ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'' fanbase about the possible origins of [[ALoadOfBull the Tauren race]]. This was codified by the [=WoW=] machinima rendering of ''TheInternetIsForPorn'', which concludes with the hilarious rebus: Human + Cow = Tauren.** In an actual canon example; the night elves' goddess, Elune, who by all official accounts looks like a big glowing night elf woman, had an affair with the demigod Malorne, whose only known form was that of a giant (read, two hundred feet tall) stag. This resulted in the birth of Cenarius, who looked like a centaur with a night elf upper body and a stag lower body. Being that these are deities, this is justified; just look at the mythology examples above.* ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'' is fond of this: a stranger mission (entitled "Who Are You To Judge?") involves returning a horse to its ''very'' affectionate owner, who has named the horse 'Lucy' and refers to her as his "girl". The horse thief who accompanies you on said mission comments that her "daddy kept goats". And lastly there's an advertisement in the newspaper for a publication called ''Sexing Livestock Quarterly''. It sure is lonely out west...** For the record, sexing chicks ([[UnEntendre as in sorting males from females]]) is an actual job. Which isn't to say the makers of ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'' aren't above a bit of DoubleEntendre.* In ''[[VideoGame/TonyHawksProSkater Tony Hawk's Underground]]'', a police officer in Tampa, Florida pulls over your van for a busted tail light, expired license plate, and a "Cops push Mongo" bumper sticker, and your van gets impounded. While roaming the city later, you can find the same officer hiding behind a strip club standing behind a goat...* ''VideoGame/FableIII'': When the player has the option of searching DepravedBisexual Reaver's bedroom, you can find caged chickens in there.* ''VideoGame/JaggedAlliance 2'' features the appropriately-named [[TheClan Hicks clan]], an entire huge extended family of armed-to-the-teeth {{Corrupt Hick}}s. Talking to them hints at their pastimes. One is terrorizing the local city, the other is cow tipping...-->'''Hick NPC''': ...but what you don't hear is what you can do with the cows afterward.* More implied ([[UnfortunateImplications or just unintentional]]) than direct, but [[VideoGame/PokemonBlackAndWhite Yamask]] is capable of breeding with Pokemon (who are the animals of the Pokemon world, [[{{Mon}} of course]]) of the Amorphous or Mineral egg groups. [[FridgeHorror Yamask were once]] ''[[WasOnceAMan human.]]'' [[{{Squick}} Game Freak, ew. Just, ew.]]** Same game, same category, there's a rumor apparently backed by [[WordOfGod Hint of God]] that [[spoiler: [[AntiVillain N Harmonia]]]] is [[HalfHumanHybrid the human son of a Pokemon]]. Said character is known to have a human father, therefore... [[spoiler: Possibly subverted when one of the other sages mentions that Ghetsis might not actually be N's father... but then, who or what was?]]*** Made even weirder by the fact that the #1 suspect for his Pokemon parent, [[FantasticFoxes Zoroark]], does not belong to the Human-like egg group (despite being bipedal).* Perhaps in the most unintentionally disturbing and unneeded way, in ''VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2006'', in order to [[spoiler: bring him back to life along with the seven Chaos Emeralds]], Elise the human princess does a (somewhat selfish sounding) chant before [[spoiler: kissing Sonic the Hedgehog.]]** [[spoiler: On the lips.]]*** "I know when I think Sonic the Hedgehog, I think of deep, emotional romance." - ''LetsPlay/ClementJ642''[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]* Tycho from ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'' seems to have a...fondness for videos involving [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/01/18/ giraffes]] (and possibly [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/10/20/advertising-in-the-future/ ostriches]] as well).** It's the necks. They're slender.** Also [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/7/18/ this comic]].** And then of course, there's... ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1hhzpsj9ms This]]''...*** That's not the only one, note that [[SociopathicHero Max]] is the one who is the most visibly creeped out by Tycho.* And of course, ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'' had Monette and the koala... but in her defense, it wasn't so much bestialist tendencies as a combination of drunkenness and [[ReallyGetsAround Really Getting Around]].** And even now she is still trying to live it down; her girlfriend at one point mentions use of a koala mask during sex.** Not to mention that, when she starts gaining more fame as an actress, the studio made sure the Koala was kept out of the picture - by paying it off.* ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'': Red Mage. Animal Husbandry. That is all.-->'''Black Mage:''' ''Why'' is that your answer for everything? '''''How''''' is that your answer for everything?!* The only reason the protagonists of ''Webcomic/ExterminatusNow'' [[UltimateJobSecurity manage to remain employed]] is due to them blackmailing their employer, Inquisition Commander Schaefer, with the knowledge of his [[http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20040723.html chicken]] [[http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20040312.html fetish]]. He makes it [[http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20050630.html almost too easy]] at times.* ''Webcomic/AnsemRetort'' provides this gem:-->'''Sora:''' Where do mermaids come from?\\'''[[Disney/TheLittleMermaid Ariel]]:''' Well, when a man loves a dolphin more than society says he should...** In addition, Larxene got a fortune [[WatchItStoned blunt]] from Yuffie's Chinese restaurant which said "Small animals will bring you great happiness" and promptly added "... in bed!" Possibly not a genuine example, since adding "... in bed" to fortune cookie fortunes is a fairly well-known game, but...* Stef from ''Webcomic/UserFriendly'' supposedly has a thing for Llamas. In fact, the strip repeatedly makes jokes about [[http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20050821 Llama porn...]]* There's a running gag in ''Webcomic/{{Brathalla}}'' that [[TechnicalPacifist Tyr]]'s proclamations of loving animals to be taken as an admittance that he's a zoophile, to where [[BigBadassWolf Fenrir]] asked him not to get too close.* In ''Webcomic/DMOfTheRings'', the DM/Tolkien explains how the Rohirrim are such excellent riders. The players paraphrase it as "The guys with unnaturally close relations with their horses". Cue Gimli rolling a [[CriticalFailure natural 1]] on his diplomacy check...-->'''Gimli:''' Tell me your name, horse-f\\'''Aragorn:''' [[CurseCutShort GIMLI!]]* Tomato from ''[[http://www.agameoffools.com A Game of Fools]]'' is [[http://agameoffools.com/comic_76.html pretty]] [[http://agameoffools.com/comic_101.html heavily]] [[http://agameoffools.com/comic_141.html implied]] to swing this way, among [[AnythingThatMoves many, many other bizarre fetishes]].* Even the FurryFandom gets in on this gag sometimes. [[AllThereInTheManual Background information]] for ''Webcomic/{{Concession}}'' mentions that the Church of Gaia is looked down upon somewhat in-universe for its advocation of sex between furries and non-anthropomorphic animals. Artie's doctor is briefly mentioned to have a fetish for sharks, and after the incident with Chelsie Artie claims Joel has no right to judge him because of [[NoodleIncident "that time you woke up with that feral dog"]].** Artie references the same ([[AnythingThatMoves probably]]) [[http://concessioncomic.com/index.php?pid=20090529 incident]] [[BrickJoke much later]].* In ''Webcomic/ScandinaviaAndTheWorld'', when discussing past crimes countries have been accused of, it's discovered that Sweden was arrested for zoophilia. In his defense, he was young, horny and it was a really cute horse.** Wales is in a relationship with New Zealand...who is a sheep. [[FridgeLogic Somehow]], they even have a child together, [[HalfHumanHybrid New South Wales]]. Norway's brain broke when he realized that. (For the record, NSW is a talking lamb.)** In that same comic, Denmark expressed interest in banging a sheep too. In HIS defense, he was drunk.* In ''Webcomic/KeychainOfCreation'', building on the ''TabletopGame/{{Exalted}}'' example above, Marena, an AnythingThatMoves fox-totem Lunar, is quizzed by renegade Deathknight Secret on how many people she's had sex with. Her response ends with the memorable line, "Define people."* Hank of ''IndefensiblePositions'' named his horse Uni, but states that it's not short for Unicorn. "See, a unicorn is a horse with a magical horn. When I got to know this pony, I named her Unicu-" Fortunately, he's interrupted before he can finish, but he later makes a philosophical point by describing what it's like to have sex with a horse.* The now-wife of webcomic artist David Hopkins, creator of ''Webcomic/{{Jack}}'', was allegedly stalked and severely harassed by a creepy ex-boyfriend who had boasted repeatedly to her of his ... misadventures ... involving the blowholes of beached dolphins. They had such problems with him they took out their frustrations by putting an {{Expy}} of him in the comic, condemned by Hell to be raped and otherwise assaulted by dolphins for eternity, and setting the language filter on the comic's forum to translate every instance of his first name to "Dolphinfucker".* Referenced in ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' when the Oracle [[spoiler:predicts his next death at the hands of a druid client and asks his friends to be ready with a Resurrection spell]] "when I tell him yes, his wife is cheating on him, and the other man is his animal companion. Turns out giving enhanced intelligence to a critter who is literally hung like a bear doesn't always work out the way you'd think."** Elan needs an excuse to leave the room:-->'''Elan:''' Uh, dad? Haley and I need to go have sex.\\'''Haley:''' Come on, [[AmbiguousGender V]]. And bring the cat, just in case.\\'''Tarquin:''' ...Huh.* Florence and Winston's relationship in ''WebComic/{{Freefall}}'' [[UpliftedAnimal isn't exactly this]], but it's referenced in these terms a few times (most obviously when Winston remarks that it's inappropriate for a doctor to get involved with his patients, but even less appropriate for a veterinarian to do so). Given who the more proactive party is, it is also treated as [[InvertedTrope something else]].* Katerina of ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt'' develops a mutual attraction with a boy named Alistair who is visiting the Court for a week. [[ItMakesSenseInContext To make a long story short]], he gets permanently [[{{Animorphism}} turned into a bird]] at the end of that week. Now, this in itself is innocent enough; after all, she fell in love with Alistair while he was still human, and she didn't know anything about him turning into a bird until right when he was about to leave. But immediately after this whole arc, Katerina is later shown sharing with Antimony a picture of a "cute boy" -- in an ornithological journal. She also seems to have an implied bird fetish in later strips.* [[http://oglaf.com/husbandry/1/ This]] ''Webcomic/{{Oglaf}}'' strip.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]* A reviewer on BashOrg plays an RPG: http://bash.org/?1897* Victoria of ''TheTwilightChronicles'' is heavily hinted to have slept with Jacob's dog. It's more or less confirmed a few episodes later when Carlisle mentions that he left Mexico because Victoria wanted to bring dogs into their sex life.* Amaranth in ''Literature/TalesOfMU'' is bound by her nature to have sex with intelligent beings who want it. She sends her goddess burnt offerings of reports on animal cognition in the hopes of having the definition expanded.* Possibly deconstructed by the short web series, ''WebAnimation/ThereSheIs''; the manner of revulsion from the public caused by a relationship between a rabbit and a cat seems to be portrayed somewhere between FantasticRacism and straight up bestiality. Especially deconstructed because the rationale behind such an extreme hatred is completely lost on the viewer.** If one can read their site (They're Korean), this is intentional.* Skippy's List Of Things Not To Do In The US Army involves this at some level.** “Um…a rubber sheep…[[ICanExplain I can explain why that’s there…”]]* Ed and Al's "experiments" on sheep is a running gag in Kit-chan's ''FullMetalAlchemist'' TheAbridgedSeries [[http://inulovinkit.livejournal.com/tag/capsummary capsummaries]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/user/FMAVidsummaries videos]].* There is an infamous fanfic on ''Roleplay/SurvivalOfTheFittest'''s KinkMeme that pairs Bridget Connolly and a dog. Someone ''requested'' this. Another request involves [[MemeticMolester Rosa Fiametta]] and a ''horse''. You may get out the BrainBleach.** Particularly now that the latter has been answered too. Graphically.* When ''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob'' reviewed ''Island of Death'', he couldn't get past the fact that the male character did, in fact, screw a goat.* ''{{Welshy}}'', in order to prove he's British to Mike J, stated that the things he had screwed included a bagel, [[RunningGag his sister]], and a goat.* In [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/nash/wtfiwwy/28552-all-creatures-great-and-dumb an episode]] of ''WebVideo/WhatTheFuckIsWrongWithYou'', Nash gets revolted at [[http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/world/british-man-in-court-over-pornographic-sex-squid-snap/story-e6frf7lf-1225865778205 a guy who was caught screwing a dead squid,]] and in [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/nash/wtfiwwy/29308-disorganized-crime another]] he's shocked at [[http://www.king5.com/news/Whatcom-County-man-arrested-in-bestiality-case-91003384.html an animal brothel.]]* In ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'' review of ''Film/{{Signs}}'', Doug dubs the voices of the aliens when he wonders what they could possibly be saying during their time of their attack. After one tries to break down a door and fails, after being insulted the alien calls the other alien a "slug fucker". It can be watched [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hULPq7xijq4 here]].* A 2007 DarwinAward entitled [[http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-17.html "A Cow-ardly Death"]], caused by "unwanted amorous advances on a heifer". Said heifer kicked her would-be suitor to death.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]* The ''Chickenlover'' episode of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''.** And I think there was one where they visit Mexico, cheering at the sights. One of these is a donkey show.** And of course, Mr. Garrison, who's had sex with (at minimum) a pigeon and a pig.** Lets not get into their depiction of PETA...-->'''Terrance:''' You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip!\\'''Phillip:''' Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?\\'''Terrance:''' Well, let's see. [[CaptainObvious First of all, you fuck pigs]].** Implied with Chef. He's looking through a book of photos of him and the many women he's made love too. When Cartman points to a picture of him naked with a goat and asks what he was doing he says it's nothing.* Troy [=McClure=] of ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' has, as one of his reasons for his career's downturn, a scandal involving his "actions" at the Springfield Aquarium.-->'''Legs:''' I thought you said Troy [=McClure=] was dead?\\'''Fat Tony:''' No, what I said was he ''[[ExactWords sleeps with the fishes]]''.* Quagmire, of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', has examples of this among his many, many other perversions.** Peter has also learned what the blowhole is NOT for, which is why he can never visit Sea World again.** And those weren't Brian's puppies after all. Seabreeze, you're a whore.*** Oddly, they never tackled the inversion of Brian and his human girlfriend...until Brian traveled to an alternate universe where humans' and dogs' roles were reversed. Then his desire for human women became Squick.*** The best moment involving Quagmire has GOT to be their drinking game on the episode where they become fishermen. The gang continues to come up with increasingly ridiculous scenarios for a sex drinking game where you take a shot if you've done it, which result in him being the only one getting drunk. A few even result in him taking MULTIPLE shots. [[CharlesAtlasSuperpower Truly, a hero without limits.]]*** And [[http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=5789 here's the video]].-->'''Joe''': I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touched myself.\\'''Quagmire''': Oh come on! (takes drink)* In ''WesternAnimation/TheMarvelousMisadventuresOfFlapjack'', when the evil inventor's brother gets a crush on Bubbie, a whale, Captain K'nuckles calls him a "disgusting weirdo."** In another episode Bubbie desides to show off a necklace Flapjack made her and two sailors cat call and compliment her.* Given it's [[TheDeepSouth setting]] and [[RefugeInAudacity tone]], ''WesternAnimation/{{Squidbillies}}'' is bound to have some of this.-->'''Early''': You wanna bang y'allself a goat? 'Cause the goat's dead, but, uh, we c'n still do this thang. Hell, I'll give you boys a discount!** The main characters are a family of squids. By definition any sex they have is either this or incest.* ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'': Well I guess it's about that time [[http://robotchicken.wikia.com/wiki/Zoo_Mommy to tell you boys why I was fired from the zoo.]]* Averted in ''WesternAnimation/DrawnTogether''. In "Mexican't Buy Me Love", in an attempt to earn money and get a flight home, Yoot attempts to put on a donkey show. The Donkey, in reply to that then says 'Even a filthy animal like myself has standards'* Carl of ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce'' is implied to have an interest in animals.-->'''Carl''': Did you get that link I sent you about the woman having sex with a bee?* A running joke on ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}'', in which various characters comment about how much Malory loved her dog, Duchess. Malory keeps a photo of herself on her desk, lying naked with Duchess in a pose which [[HoYay suggests far more intimacy than the relationship a normal owner would have with their pet]].* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'': "You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey?!"[[/folder]]

[[folder:Other]]* ''T Shirt Hell'' has advertised on this very site, [[http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/baaaaaa-means-nooooo/ a shirt]] which states, "Remember, Baah means no."** An older one, available [[http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/may-the-horse-be-with-you/ here]], used ''Franchise/StarWars'' font and was titled "May the Horse be With You" with a silhouette of a horse and a woman, um...* RuleThirtyFour has this going for it in spades.* A man left his workstation unlocked while browsing the [[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/ Straight Dope Message Boards]]; a mischievous coworker stopped by his unattended cubicle and started a topic for him. The subject? "Sex with sheep is fun." (He has, of course, [[NeverLiveItDown yet to live this down]]).* Inverted [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRm8okHhapU&feature=player_embedded in this infamous video]].* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss8LDBNcsWc On the subject of infamous videos...]]* A quote attributed to comedian Richard Jeni: "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in, 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire,' and the computer will say, 'Specify breed of goat.'"** It's actually a quote from the book "Dave Barry in Cyberspace".* ThatOtherWiki has [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case an article]] on Mr. Hands, a guy who took it from behind via horse. [[WhatAnIdiot His friends were drunk off their rocks and didn't have him sent to the ER when the resulting act]] [[OutWithABang perforated his colon and caused it to bleed]].** TruthInTelevision, actually.* Go try to play a game of ''TabletopGame/SettlersOfCatan''. We'll wait here.** [[DontExplainTheJoke For the benefit of non-players]]: The speaker intends to offer to trade his lumber resources to anyone willing to pay in wool. What comes out, though, is "[[UnEntendre I have wood for sheep]]."* In some versions of the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatman_(Maryland) Goatman]] {{urban legend|s}}, its creation is attributed to a government researcher who was engaged in [[UnusualEuphemism in-depth studies]] of goats.* [[http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/His_%22wife%22%3F_A_horse%2E His "wife"? A horse.]] Naturally, Fandom Wank turned it into a {{Meme|ticMutation}}.* According to legend (which is untrue), Catherine the Great was very fond of her horses. An urban legend about her death states that she was crushed by a horse while expressing that fondness. [[/folder]]

----[[RunningGag And]] [[StealthPun Turkey]].----

to:

[[quoteright:349:[[Webcomic/CyanideAndHappiness http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/zee_parrot_133.jpg]]]][[caption-width-right:349:[[DoubleEntendre Looks like Polly just scored herself a cracker.]]]]

->''"You have no right to judge me! You weren't there! I was a stupid teenager! [[ImAManICantHelpIt I was horny!]] And it was a really cute horse!"''-->--'''Sweden''', ''Webcomic/ScandinaviaAndTheWorld''%%%% One quote is sufficient. Please place additional entries on the quotes tab.

Want to mark a character as a sexual deviant, but don't want to run into the UnfortunateImplications that tropes like the DepravedHomosexual or [[DepravedBisexual Bisexual]] or the PsychoLesbian have? Simple. Imply that they have a sexual interest in farm animals.

This is almost always played for laughs, rather than titillation. It works partly because actual bestiality is rare enough to seem less "{{real|ityIsUnrealistic}}" than other acts considered perverted, similar to the unreality of [[BigBallOfViolence cartoon violence]] — yet common enough that it's [[TruthInTelevision more plausible]] (and perhaps less gross?) than [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]]. We don't normally worry about the goat, because of said unreality and our [[WhatMeasureIsANonHuman moral distance from animals]]. Since the animals in question are not anthropomorphized and are usually the more "comical" ones found in nature (goats, sheep, chickens), you're even likely to avoid the wrath of the FurryFandom. Also, there are not (yet?) "Bestiality Pride" parades of the type that would inspire letter writing campaigns against the trope's use.

You may get a couple of letters from [[AnimalWrongsGroup PETA]] and a severe hoof-to-the-head concussion, but frankly [[ThisIsGonnaSuck you should just expect that going in.]] Also, there is the disquieting but [[SeriousBusiness debated]] idea that, as [[http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=496400 Dan Savage points out]], an animal cannot give consent... You know... In case you weren't already reaching for the BrainBleach.

For some reason, the [[LandOfMyFathersAndTheirSheep Welsh]] appear to be the most {{Acceptable Target|s}} for this trope, especially concerning sheep. The same also commonly applies to people from Dumfries and Aberdeen among the British. Also, Australians and New Zealanders seem to be fond of accusing each other of excessive fondness for said animal. Sometimes also alleged toward Bedouins and other groups who have long nights alone in the desert with no company except goats and camels. The American version is usually aimed at rednecks.

For the trope where people remember something naughty the character did and ''nothing else'' about the character who did it, see NeverLiveItDown.

Compare ExtremeOmnisexual. A {{Subtrope}} of UnequalPairing.

[[noreallife]]

----!!Examples:

[[foldercontrol]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]* ''LightNovel/FullMetalPanic: The Second Raid'' has a scene where Gates was apparently masturbating to the sight of ''kittens'' (that or he was watching something else and just switched channels when he was interrupted).* In ''LightNovel/ZeroNoTsukaima'', Louise famously accuses Saito of being willing to poke [[http://www.japanator.com/elephant/photo.phtml?post_key=8421&photo_key=4699 anything that stays still long enough]]: "Maid, dog, cat, goat!"* In ''Anime/NerimaDaikonBrothers'', both Ichiro and Yukika are ''very'' attracted to [[PandaingToTheAudience Pandaikon]].* Sorta played around in ''Manga/MyBalls'' with Asmodeus, the sheep demon and Kohta at one instance. May also count for Beezlebub, Lamia and Minotaur.* ''VisualNovel/{{Tsukihime}}'' made an AscendedMeme out of the line "That's all right... A cat is fine, too". (Context: A dojinshi portrays Shiki as a MemeticMolester who wants to do [[BlackComedyRape terrible things]] to Len. When Len tries to escape via transforming into a cat, Shiki utters that immortal line.)* In the "[[Recap/LupinIIIS2E35 Gorilla Tactics]]" episode of ''Manga/LupinIII'', Lupin (in disguise) taunts Zenigata about an unwanted affectionate encounter he had with a gorilla the previous evening.* ''BlackButler'': Pluto, a [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent Hell Hound]], can transform from a giant silver dog into an attractive young man on a whim, and seems to prefer [[InnocentFanserviceGirl running around naked]]. He and Angela are in a sexual relationship. [[InterspeciesRomance Not SO bizarre, right?]] Wait, did we mention that his mind is also [[{{Squick}} dog-like in human form]]? [[/folder]]

[[folder:Comic Books]]* The joke at the top of the page is replicated nearly word for word in ''Comicbook/{{Transmetropolitan}}'' (except it's a janitor in a convention hall and not a farmer) with throwaway character "Bill Chimpfucker".* ''CartoonHistoryOfTheUniverse'' describes the process of domestication thus: "Men and sheep grew ''very'' close".-->'''Shepherd''' (hugging a sheep): Darling!\\'''Sheep''': Wha-a-a-at?** Later:-->'''Chicken''': None of that funny stuff with ME, pal!* Mr. Rictus from the MarkMillar comic mini-series ''Comicbook/{{Wanted}}''-->'''Mr. Rictus''': "[[IResembleThatRemark I do not fuck goats]], Mr. Gibson. [[CrossesTheLineTwice I make love to them.]]"** In the Brazilian translation, it's actually kangaroos.** This eventually led to the famous ''Comicbook/{{Nextwave}}'' cover parody of the ''Comicbook/CivilWar'' event, which read "Mark Millar Licks Goats". Millar apparently took it in stride.* Deconstructed in Creator/AlanMoore's ''Comicbook/SwampThing'' run. After pictures of her and (the admittedly anthropomorphic) Swamp Thing are shown in newspapers, Abigail Cable is arrested for her relationship and charged with "crimes against nature", the laws that would usually be used to prosecute the aforementioned screwers of farm animals. She's arrested, fired from her job, her reputation is ruined, everyone starts treating her like a horrible sex offender, and Swampy is forced to cover almost the entirety of Gotham in greenery in order to secure her release. It is up to Batman to point out that if the authorities are going to arrest everyone in Franchise/TheDCU who has a relationship with a non-human, and it's the delivery that just ''nails'' it as a '''literal''' SpaceWhaleAesop. Eventually we '''''will''''' run into intelligent non-humans, and perhaps the biggest part of WhatMeasureIsANonHuman is whether or not we believe them - or they believe us - worthy of [[ThePowerOfLove love]].-->'''Batman:''' I '''mean''', if you want to take this all the '''way''', '''non-humanity''' doesn't ''end'' with the ''Swamp Thing''. Let me '''see...''' You'll possibly have to arrest '''{{Hawkman}}...''' and '''ComicBook/{{Metamorpho}}...''' ...And there's also '''Starfire''', from the '''[[Comicbook/TeenTitans Titans]]'''. '''Her''' race evolved from '''{{cat|Girl}}s''', I believe... The '''MartianManhunter''', obviously. {{Comicbook/Captain|Atom}} '''[[Comicbook/CaptainAtom Atom]]'''... And then of course there's '''what's-his-name'''... the one who lives in '''[[Franchise/{{Superman}} Metropolis]]'''.** Played to comedic effect in the DC Universe-based online role-plays of JLA_Watchtower and Roleplay/DCNation. The characters are taking the 5,000-question online "purity test," and Gar Logan's girlfriend (an OC who is an animal-based shape-shifter like he is) quips, "Honey, just how DO we answer those bestiality questions?"* Also gets a deconstructive nod in ''Comicbook/{{X-Men}}.'' Beast's already blue and furry, but when he undergoes a secondary mutation that leaves him looking more feline than hominid, his girlfriend breaks up with him because the tabloids start comparing the relationship to bestiality.* A favorite of GarthEnnis, particularly in ''{{Preacher}}'', where Jesus de Sade, the world's wealthiest and most accomplished pervert, is offered an armadillo on a silver platter by his manservant. De Sade is also stated to have sodomized all the city zoo's larger quadrupeds, leading to the armadillo incident above. Also, during the party thrown by De Sade, we see a guy in the stocks surrounded by sheep, saying "Do it, you sluts!".** ''{{Preacher}}'' is chock full of people having sex with weird stuff, including but not limited to: A chicken, a salmon, an armadillo, [[CargoShip a birthday cake]] and a [[NauseaFuel bunch of meat stacked up to vaguely resemble a giant woman]]. At least 3 of these by the same character.* In ''Franchise/{{Batman}}: Dark Allegiances'', an {{Elseworld}}s story set in the 1930s, one character keeps insinuating that there is a blue movie of actress Kitty Graymalkin (a.k.a. Comicbook/{{Catwoman}}) having unnatural relations with a Rottweiler.* ''Ramba'': In one scene in "Violent Death", Ramba has her pet cat Lucifer lick her vagina after finding out she has another target to assassinate.* ''{{Inverted|Trope}}'' by the Italian comic book ''{{Rat-Man}}'', where it's the ''sheep'' who never lived down having sex with Rat-Man!* Cherry has sex with a dolphin in one issue of ''Cherry Comics''.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Fan Fic]]* ''FanFic/ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen'' features Jasper Cullen having a threesome with a human named Vince and the MarySue heroine's sidekick. This would be all very well, if not for the fact that the sidekick is an apparently non-anthropomorphic panda.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Film]]* ''Film/{{Black Sheep|TheMovie}}''. The older brother's relationship with a certain sheep has a bonus of being {{incest|IsRelative}}uous.* The factor that changes the entire plot of ''Film/AmericanPie Presents: Beta House''.* In ''{{Kingpin}}'', the heroes have Vanessa Angel {{distract|edByTheSexy}} bowling opponents. It mostly works, except with a team of farmers. So they bring in this sheep...* In ''{{Kinsey}}'', a sex researcher asks a heavily accented man about his first sexual experience, and he says what sounds like "with a horse." Stunned, the researcher asks more about the man's sexual experimentation with animals, to which the man exclaims "It's true, I fucked a pony. How did you know?" Turns out he had said "with ''whores''" the first time.** And then there's.... that one guy. [[ParentalIncest Who first time had a sex with his mother when he was ten]], and things go downhill from there; [[IncestIsRelative 14 members of his]] [[BrotherSisterIncest immediate family]], several thousand people, including hundreds of prepubescent children of both sexes, and [[AnythingThatMoves a whole list of various species of animals]].* ''PinkFlamingos'': Crackers sure does seem to have a thing for those chickens.* In a brief scene in the city from ''ConanTheBarbarian'', Conan and Subotai have a good laugh over a guy screwing a llama.* The 2009 ''Film/StarTrek'' movie has Uhura invoke this while snubbing Kirk's advances:-->'''Uhura:''' Oh, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.\\'''Kirk:''' Well, not ''only''.* The whole "Shepherd and shrink" part of ''Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask''. The sheep in lingerie! Yikes!* In ''Night on Earth'', a cab driver (Roberto Benigni) confesses to his priest passenger that he's had sex with both a pumpkin and a sheep, going into lurid detail about said acts. The confession proves too much for the priest to take, and he has a heart attack and dies.* In ''TheAnimal'' the protagonist (who has animal organs implanted in him) gets sexually attracted to a goat in heat, PlayedForLaughs.* This trope is the main joke in ''Film/FierceCreatures'', where a comedy of errors occurs that repeatedly involves JamieLeeCurtis walking in on Creator/JohnCleese, women, and various livestock.** It also has KevinKline mistaking the "contact" between Jamie and a gorilla.* ''{{Film/District 9}}'': After Wikus flees the CorruptCorporateExecutive and his goons, the media reports that he was seeking out alien whores and contracted an STD. Every human he talks to after that for the rest of the movie comments on his alien sex, which they think was the cause of [[spoiler:Wikus' steady transformation into an alien]]. Totally justified in that thanks to MNU's propaganda, that's all anyone ''did'' know about Wikus.* In one film version of Vilhelm Moberg's ''TheEmigrants'', one of the main characters begs to be taken along to America because everyone back home torments him about his suggested trysts with a cow. It's fairly likely it's just an unsubstantiated tale, but that doesn't stop it from ruining his life.* In ''Far and Away'', Joseph uses this trope to insult his drunken brothers when they start giving him trouble.-->'''Joseph:''' Shag off, the pair of you. There's a goat over there. Go improve your love life.* This trope is the premise of the film SleepingDogsLie, which is about a woman who once performed fellatio on her dog in college and the ramifications of telling her boyfriend.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Folk Lore]]* A number of rulers and other high-ups have been slandered by more or less fabricated accusations of zoophilia.* The Old Testament forbids shepherds from going out alone (making them leave in pairs) specifically to prevent this "abomination," and Exodus has a bit about those who lie down with beasts.* While it's not folklore per se, there is a long tradition of nations and cultures accusing their neighbors of sleeping with animals. This continues into the modern day. Consider the relationship between New Zealand and Australia or Scotland, England and Wales; in [[EagleLand the U.S.]], the [[FlyoverCountry Rural Midwest]] and the DeepSouth are the usual targets. For some reason it quite often seems to be sheep.** One of the standard jokes: "Country X, where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous."** Another standard joke: "In Country X, they recently discovered another use for sheep. Wool!"** And "Why do [=CountryXers=] have sex on clifftops? The sheep push back harder."** In most countries, it's "Hey you, get off my cloud." But [[InSovietRussiaTropeMocksYou in Scotland]], it's "Hey [=McLeod=], get off my ewe!"** What do you call a sheep tethered to a lamppost in Cardiff? A rec centre.** Why do Scots wear kilts? Because the sheep started running when they heard a zipper.** In modern Russian folklore, people from Caucasus and Central Asia are referred to as "sheep/goat/donkey fuckers". A typical joke goes something like this: Why do Georgians have two donkeys in a stable, a larger and a smaller one? The larger one is for adults to "ride"; the [[CrossesTheLineTwice smaller one is for children]].** Hungarians are notorious for their elaborate cusswords and one of the nastiest goes something like "I wish you were ass-raped by a horse" (literally: "A horse's dick up your arse"). Another Hungarian expression is one that urges the other person to have oral sex with a horse. It means, roughly, "screw you". The latter is considered very vulgar, but the first can also be used jokingly, depending on social context.* It's thought that Witches in their Sabbath had sex with demons in the form of animals, including {{Satan}} as a black goat.* When someone asks what career you want, mention [[AcceptableProfessionalTargets marine biology.]] [[SchmuckBait Go ahead, I dare you.]] [[FanDumb Some people]] are under the delusion that people go into this profession want to do [[{{Squick}} naughty things with fish, dolphins, and]] (of course) [[NaughtyTentacles cephalopods]]. Needless to say, actual marine biologists (and people who actually want to be actual marine biologists) are [[BerserkButton not amused]].** The same rule of thumb goes for the technical term for livestock farming - Animal Husbandry.* [[ClassicalMythology The Minotaur]] apparently came about because King Minos' wife had sex with a bull. [[/folder]]

[[folder:Jokes]]* Presumed {{Trope Namer|s}}:-->''A young man is walking through a small village one day and decides to stop by a bar and have a beer. He walks into a bar, and sees a grizzled old man, crying into his beer. Curious, the young man sits down and says, "Hey old timer, why the long face?"''\\''The old man looks at him and points out the window, "See that dock out there? I built that dock with my own two hands, plank by plank, nail by nail, but do they call me [=McGregor=] the dockbuilder? No, no."''\\''The old man continued, "And see that ship out there? I've been fishing these waters for my village for 35 years! But do they call me [=McGregor=] the fisherman? No, no."''\\''[[RuleOfThree The old man continued]], "And see all the crops in the farms out there? I planted and have been farming those crops for my village for nearly 45 years! But do they call me [=McGregor=] the farmer? No, no."''\\''The old man starts to cry again, "[[NeverLiveItDown But you screw]] '''[[NeverLiveItDown one goat]]'''..."''* The {{Trope Namer|s}} might be the following joke as well:** A Viking is standing on a mountain overlooking a seaside village and screaming his rage at the gods: - I have felled all the trees to make place for our village! But do the call me "Lumberjack"? - I have built all the houses of the village! But do they call me "Builder"? - I have built all the boats! But do they call me "Shipwright"? - I have caught enough fish to feed the village for a winter! But do they call me "Fisher"? - I have led Vikings into battle and brought them home, safe and rich! But do they call me "Warlord"? - Ye Gods, where is your justice? I have only once screwed just a single goat!* Theres a military joke about a young (Army/Marine) Lieutenant's first time in Iraq, with the punchline being his Sergeant explains that he was supposed to ride the camel into town to pay a hooker.** That's only the latest update of a joke that's at least as old as colonialism in the Middle East.* Another joke describes a young shepherd who, lonely with the long hours alone in the fields with his sheep, was horrified to find himself starting to cast sideways glances at his charges. He asked an older, more experienced shepherd for advice, and was told to train a vicious dog to attack him if he started disrobing around the sheep. He did so, but the loneliness continued, until one day he heard a woman screaming off in the distance. Tracking down its source, he found a beautiful maiden who had been chased up a tree by a pack of wolves. After the shepherd and his dog chased away the wolves, the maiden asked if there were anything she could do to repay him. "Actually there is," he replied. [[spoiler:"Can you keep this dog distracted for about ten minutes?"]]* A similar joke goes: a tired traveler is crossing a vast desert on his camel, and thinks to himself, "I haven't had sex for days...I'll make do with this camel." However, the camel won't stay still to allow him to have sex with it. Suddenly, three beautiful women appear out of nowhere. "You look lost," one says. "Can I help you?" Yes, the traveler says. "Could you please help me hold down the camel?"* A gentleman stops by a biker bar and notices a large jar full of twenty dollar bills sitting on a high shelf. He asks the bartender about it, and the bartender tells him that anyone who likes can put a twenty in the jar and then attempt to win the pot by completing three tasks: defeating the toughest biker in the bar in a fistfight, performing some amateur dentistry on the bartender's vicious dog which has a sore tooth, and sexually satisfying the bartender's hideously ugly nymphomaniac wife. The man drops a twenty in the jar, walks over to the biker and knocks him out with one punch. He strides confidently the back room, where the bartender hears his dog give out the most pitiful howl he's ever heard. The man returns and asks the bartender, [[spoiler: "Okay, now where's that ugly lady with the sore tooth?"]]** There's a variation of that in Finland: A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian were visiting Greenland, and decided to have a wager of toughness: they had to drink a keg of vodka, kill a polar bear barehanded and make love to an Eskimo woman. The Swede and the Norwegian failed in humiliating ways, but the Finn drank down the entire keg and left off to find a polar bear. Hours later he comes back covered in tears and scratches and asks: [[spoiler:"Nhow wheresh that Eshkhimo I wash shupposhed to kill?"]]*** The same joke is told with a [[EverythingIsBigInTexas Texan]] who went to Alaska, and was given the same challenge.** There's also a variation in Brazil: Mussum of [=OsTrapalhões=] tried to join a gang and was told that, in order to join, he had to complete three tasks: drinking a whole bottle of (the troper isn't sure of the kind of alcoholic beverage) at once, cut off the tail of a lion caged near the bar where he and the gang were having the challenge, and kissing the ugly bartender ten times. He could do the tasks in any order he chose and started with the drinking challenge. Mussum then left the bar to search for the lion. Upon returned, he mentioned he had just finished kissing the lion and would now cut the woman's tail.* An American anthropologist has been studying a tribe in Africa by living with them for a year. One day, the chief called him into the chief's hut. The chief sighed. "Well, my friend, it seems that we must ask you to leave." The anthropologist was surprised by this; he thought he had gained the tribe's trust. "Why, what's the matter?" he stammered. "It seems that a woman in our tribe has given birth to a baby... a white baby," said the chief. The anthropologist began to laugh. "Oh, is that all? No, that's just a classic case of albinism. It's caused by inheriting recessive pigment genes and..." The chief didn't look convinced, so he pointed at a nearby flock of sheep. "See those sheep? All of them are white except for that one. It's like that!" The chief was silent for a moment and said, [[spoiler:"Listen, you don't talk about the sheep, and I won't talk about the baby."]]* A man goes to a bawdy house and asks the proprietor what "services" he can get for five dollars. "Five dollars?!" says the proprietor. "That's all I have," says the customer. "Very well," says the proprietor, "follow me." He takes the man to a small room containing nothing but a chicken. "What am I supposed to do with ''that''?" asks the man. "Hey, you came here for sex," says the proprietor, "and you get what you pay for." He leaves, and the man, disgusted but desperate, has sex with the chicken. The next week, he comes back and asks what he can get for ten dollars. "Follow me," says the proprietor. He takes the customer to a room where a number of men are watching a peep show. The customer looks through a peephole and sees a man having sex with a sheep. He joins his fellow customers in derisive laughter. Nudging the man beside him, he says, "Boy, what a pathetic sicko that guy is, huh?" "That's nothing," says the other. [[spoiler:"Last week there was a guy in there screwing a chicken."]]* A farmer, trying to improve his mind, takes up reading in his spare time. Every time he comes across an unfamiliar word, he jots it down so he can ask the minister, who's the most educated person in the village. One day he sees the minister walking by, waves him over, and hands him the list. "Reverend," he says, "can you tell me what these words mean?" The minister patiently defines them one by one, then blushes and hesitates as he comes to the last word. "Come on, Reverend," says the farmer. "Don't be bashful. What does 'bestiality' mean?" "Er...well," says the minister, "it refers to the forbidden and disgusting act of intimate relations with beasts, such as sheep, goats, and chickens." "Ewww," says the farmer. [[spoiler:"Chickens?"]]* During the Bush Administration, First Lady Laura Bush told on television a joke about George milking a horse.* The three biggest lies in <<name the place you're insulting>>:** 1. I own my own car/truck/etc.** 2. I know who my dad is** 3. I was just helping that sheep over a fence.* In France, the [[LegionOfLostSouls French Foreign Legion]] is often jokingly associated with goats.* An American researcher comes to England to study farming. On his travels he hears about the practice of sheep fornication. He goes around Yorkshire asking farmers "Do you have intercourse with sheep?" As you can expect, the farmers are insulted, demanding he leave and slamming the door in his face. Just as he is about to give up, one man he asks looks around and answers "yes, and I'll answer your questions so long as you can promise you won't reveal anything about me". So the researcher asks "well...how do you do it?" The farmer replies "you put the back legs in your boots and the front legs on a wall and go from there." From there, the researcher goes to Wales, where he asks the same question. The first farmer he meets boldly responds "yes!". Again, the researcher asks how, and the Welshman responds "You put the back legs in your boots and the front legs over your shoulders and go from there". The researcher says "Thats interesting, because in Yorkshire a man said back legs in boots and front over a wall". [[CrossesTheLineTwice "What?!" replies the Welshman, "No kissing?!"]]* A farmer went to a psychiatrist, complaining that he was being sexually aroused by his horse. "I see", said the psychiatrist, "Is the horse a stallion or mare?" "Mare, of course!" answered the farmer angrily; "Do you take me for some kind of pervert?"* A tourist is visiting New Zealand. While driving in the countryside, he spots a farmer with his sheep. The tourist asks, "Are you shearing that sheep?" The farmer replies, "No, get your own. I'm not sharing her with anyone!"* "No [[MickeyMouse Mickey]], you can't divorce Minnie because she's silly." "I didn't say she was silly, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin I said she was fucking Goofy!"]]* Two New Zealandian pilots are flying a flock of sheep. Suddenly, the plane starts going down because of engine trouble. The first pilot says "We gotta jump out, get your parachute!" "But what about the sheep?" asks the second. "''Fuck'' the sheep!" shouts the first. The second responds: "You think we have the time?"* A man arrives in a Gold Rush boom town, and asks in the saloon what they do for entertainment, since there are no women in the town. He's told there's a flock of sheep, and everyone has sex with them. The new arrival is horrified by this, but as the days go on he gets more and more desperate. Finally he decides that if he's going to do it, he's going to do it right, so he chooses a sheep, dresses it up, and takes it to the saloon for a drink. When he arrives, everything goes silent, and all the patrons stare at him in shock. Embarassed he stammers "I was told everyone here did it!" "Yeah," comes the reply, "but we don't pick up the sheriff's girl!"[[/folder]]

[[folder:Literature]]* Played for laughs in ''[[Literature/LambTheGospelAccordingToBiff Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal]]'', when in which the Messiah asks a ship captain about sex ([[ChasteHero as he has been told he won't ever know a woman]]). The captain responds, "Oh, you want to know about [[ClusterFBomb fucking? I've fucked]] women, young boys, sheep, horses, the odd turtle..." Jesus' friend drags him away from the captain, prompting Christ to ask why he can't learn from the captain. The friend can only respond by stuttering, muttering "God, a turtle" and taking Jesus below deck. ([[ChekhovsGag Throughout the rest of the story, turtle-sex is periodically referenced.]])** Later in the book, a Hindu man is depicted having sex with a cow, claiming that it is the reincarnation of his wife.* The first book of the {{Aubrey-Maturin}} series has a mention of a sailor who gets caught buggering a goat, meaning he will be hanged, and the poor goat slaughtered. When Jack doesn't want to deal with the situation and its inevitable impact on the rest of the crew, Stephen suggests he just put them ashore: "separate shores, if you feel strongly about the moral issue."** It gets [[CrowningMomentOfFunny better]], when Jack offers Stephen some milk in his coffee: "Goat's milk?" "Why, yes, I suppose so." "Perhaps without milk, then..."* The novel ''{{Beloved}}'' [[PlayedForDrama plays this completely seriously]]. The slaves on the farm have sex with cows because they have no prospect of sleeping with a woman.* In ''The Journeyer,'' by Gary Jennings, a historical novel about the life and travels of Marco Polo, the slave Nostril first makes his appearance being dragged behind a panicked mare which he had been assigned to groom and to which he had been chained. Nostril's proclivities get more creative as the novel progresses.* Played rather seriously in Balzac's novella ''A Passion in the Desert'' where a man's relationship with a leopard he domesticates is presented in romantic terms.* Ditto for the main character and his horse in ''[[HeraldsOfValdemar Brightly Burning]]'' by Creator/MercedesLackey. Of course, since the horse is a TalkingAnimal, it's not quite as perverted.** He and his Companion are in love with each other, but he only ever [[IncrediblyLamePun mounts]] her in the usual equine sense. The heralds probably would have had something to say, otherwise...** It should be noted that Companions are the divinely reincarnated souls of dead (human) Heralds. This might help make it less creepy.* In the StephaniePlum book series, Stephanie's cousin Vinnie was once "in love" with a duck.** Vinnie is the butt of this joke quite often. In one of Stephanie's monologues he's said to sleep with anything: Women, Men, Dogs, Goats...** There's also a persistent rumor about Joyce's alleged fondness for dogs...* Ferrol Sams' book ''Run With The Horseman'' has the character nicknamed "Moo Cow" for this reason.* Creator/JohnRingo plays with this quite literally in ''[[Literature/PaladinOfShadows Unto the Breach]]'', where one of the village elders essentially comments that [[NeverLiveItDown it was just one goat...]]* From ''The Xenophobe's Guide To The Welsh'', a joke apparently told by the Welsh themselves:-->"Have you heard? Old Jones the farmer has been found interfering with a sheep!"\\"Good heavens! A male sheep or a female sheep?"\\"Female. There's nothing funny about Jones."* In one of Creator/MarionZimmerBradley's Lythande stories, through the story she constantly hears and sometimes contemplates the insult "You molester of virgin goats!" In the finale when she's confronted by a fellow member of her order who's seen evidence to let him possibly guess she's female (every member of their order has to keep one fact about themselves secret or lose their power), she starts yelling insults at him just to distract him, but when she uses the Virgin Goats one, the reaction on his face makes her immediately realize that that's HIS secret.* Joan Hess's Maggody mysteries contain joking references to this, many of them in regards to how Raz Buchanon dotes upon his pet pedigree sow, Marjorie. Internal monologue by [[spoiler: Robin Buchanon]], just before [[spoiler: her death]], indicates this character had trained the family dog to engage in some highly-questionable behavior.* Towards the end of ''[[TheTakeshiKovacsSeries Altered Carbon]]'', the main character is fighting his way through an exclusive hangout for sexual deviants, and he finds a battered-looking dog and a man who did ''something'' unpleasant to it (and who incidentally has his pants down.) The main character shoots the man in the head (nonlethal, given the futuristic setting, but quite an unpleasant experience.) This is treated as a PetTheDog moment.* ''TheEmigrants'' features a serious version. Arvid the farmhand gets into the bad graces of the farmer's old mother. To dirty Arvid's name, she spreads a rumor that he does unknowable things to one of the cows. This becomes Arvid's motivation to emigrate to America.* Creator/JohnDonne's "Satire IV", which skewers gossipy would-be courtly types, references this one:-->Who wasts in meat, in clothes, in horse, he notes;\\Who loves Whores, who boyes, and who goats.* Creator/IrvineWelsh's novella 'Lorraine Goes to Livingston' features excerpts [[ShowWithinAShow from a regency romance novel one of the characters is writing]] which features a hero who falls in love with a sheep after losing his wife. The hero's friends eventually have the sheep slaughtered and served to him in order to end the infatuation.* In ''[[TortallUniverse Protector of the Small]]'', lady-knight-in-training Kel and the King's Own have dealings with a herd of centaurs. Some of them went rogue and became bandits, and it's mentioned that the leader of the others is killing the "slaves" - horses - who were mounted by the renegades, believing that being mated with wicked centaurs ruins the horses. It doesn't help that earlier on, that same leader wanted to buy ''Kel'', seeing her as sturdy and possibly able to bear sons of his kind.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]* In the final episode of ''Series/{{Blackadder}} II'', the German Prince [[HughLaurie Ludwig]] reveals that the sheep [[StephenFry Melchett]] had... relations with, was actually him in brilliant disguise.** Subverted later in the episode, when he's revealing how he knows Queen Elizabeth. It really looks like he's going to reveal that he was her horse and she had sex with him, but then it turns out that he was the German stable lad, and she didn't sleep with him. Her relationship with the horse appears purely platonic.** In the premier episode of series one, Edmund is secretly nursing Henry Tudor back to health in his room, hoping for a reward. His mother comes in, and when Edmund implies that there is someone in his bed, the Queen asks if it is a sheep. He denies this. Later on, to keep her from checking the bed he makes bleating noises. Her response: "Oh, Edmund. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny It's the lying I find so hurtful]]."* On ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'', Uncle Nunzio and his 'pet' goat are repeatedly mentioned.* One character in the first episode of ''KrodMandoonAndTheFlamingSwordOfFire'' likes to have sex with horses.* In the ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'' episode "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", Captain John Hart expresses an attraction to poodles.-->'''Gwen:''' Do you ever stop?\\'''John:''' What, five minutes to live and you want me to behave? Oh, that's gorgeous...\\'''Gwen:''' That's a poodle!\\'''John:''' ''(growling)'' S'nice!* In one episode of ''Series/{{Mash}}'' [[TheVicar Mulcahy]] keeps trying to describe ''The Yearling'' (a film that was going to be shown) 'about a tender relationship between a boy and a young deer', and each time, the character ([[HypercompetentSidekick Radar]], [[AFatherToHisMen Potter]], etc.) would respond with a "Oh yeah, like my (relative), except it was with a (mule, horse)" with an implication that their relative had a more intimate fondness with their chosen animal.* ''Series/FatherTed'': "No, No, Dougal, we must keep away from the idea that we're in love with the horse. It's more that we're friends with the horse."* In ''Series/StrangersWithCandy'', Jerri Blank [[NoodleIncident never quite got to explain what it was she did with the donkey in Tijuana]], but... it's Jerri. This trope was definitely involved.* On ''Series/TheLeagueOfGentlemen'' the Tattsyrup family are said to have a bit of pig in their ancestry (which turns up in their noses), and Hilary Briss is married to a cow. The extent of their relationship is unclear.** A Local Book For Local People makes it [[FromBadToWorse somewhat clearer]].* In ''Series/PhoenixNights'', there is strong innuendo that Keith Lard (a fire safety officer from Bolton) is into bestiality. He is led away by police, only to be released when an Alsatian fails to testify. In real life, Channel 4 had to apologize to Keith La'''i'''rd (a fire safety officer from Bolton) who claimed that his reputation was damaged by this show.* Due to {{Moral Guardian|s}} standards and limited dialogue potential, this is one of the few sex crimes that has never been featured on ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit''. It has, however, been referenced in dialogue between sex-crimes investigators. "His father caught him alone with his new bride, Missy. Missy's a German shepherd."* ''{{Manswers}}'' has taken this trope to its extreme, by investigating which animal's genitalia bear the closest resemblance to those of a human woman. Sheep were, of course, among the candidates researched. (Their conclusion? If you're kinky enough to care, it's [[spoiler: the dugong. At least, it could explain the MermaidProblem.]])* In the first season of ''Series/TheMightyBoosh'' many "intimate liaisons" with the zoo animals were implied. Howard warns Vince in one episode, not to get to close to any of the animals in the zoo bringing up the example of a (literal) fox in a nearby cage. which apparently was a "Mistake" according to Howard. Apparently in the Mighty Boosh world bestiality is a scandal more like a professor sleeping with a graduate student than how it's viewed in real life...** This is probably because animals in the Boosh-verse are sapient. Most of them can talk, and are of comparable intelligence to the human characters. Not only are they capable of consenting to sex with humans, more than often they are the ones who ''instigate'' it (who can forget the scene where Vince gets raped by that panda?).* In ''SonsOfAnarchy'' after Tig spills his bike during a charity run and requires medical attention he's picked-up at the hospital by bounty-hunters over an outstanding warrant in Oregon. The charge? ...indecent exposure in a livestock transport.* Owen, on ''Series/TheVicarOfDibley'', is initially implied to do this. When Radio Dibley ran a ''Moral Maze'' style programme on the topic "Is Sex With Poodles ''Always'' Wrong?", he was the one speaking in favour. By the end of the series, they'd done away with all pretense and flatout stated he was regularly having sex with animals, calling a sheep his girlfriend in one episode. Jim was also stated to be at least attracted to sheep. Luckily, by that point RefugeInAudacity had become a staple for pretty much every character who wasn't Geraldine or David.* Referenced in ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'':-->'''Dr Cox''': Don'cha see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.\\'''Elliot''': Dolphin ''trainer'' sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.\\'''Dr. Cox''': Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you ''so'' interesting.** Another reference with that dolphin trainer:-->'''Sean''': Why are things so much easier with dolphins?\\'''Elliot''': Probably because you're not trying to date the dolphin.\\'''Sean''': Oh, God, no. Not after that big talk they gave us.** And again with JD when there's a rumor about JD being into bestiality because he practiced kissing on Rowdy (JD and Turk's dead stuffed dog).* In ''LifeOnMars'', Chris and Ray make sheep noises at a prisoner ("Dicky Fingers") they're picking up for transport. When Sam asks why, Chris refers to this trope. Later, as they're driving, Chris points out a lamb; Dicky responds, "[[EvenEvilHasStandards What d'you think I am, a nonce?]]" ("Nonce" being UK slang for child molester.)* ''BostonLegal'': Denny was shown repeatedly to have a thing for sheep.** Also, there was that thing with that camel that one time in the military... The camel, apparently, had no complaints.** In another episode, a client has an affair with Wendy... his cow. Which at one point leads Schmidt to say, "But you screw one cow..."* Subverted with the usual sense of taste in an episode of ''TheSarahSilvermanProgram''. Sarah is arrested for bestiality when she's caught licking her dog's asshole... which she only does because [[{{Squick}} apparently, it tastes delicious]].* The performers on ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' tend to [[RunningGag default to sheep]] if they ever bring up this trope.** Colin's apparently random bestiality cracks are a RunningGag of sorts. ([[http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tMwHxLuqwpQ This]] clip is [[CrowningMomentOfFunny a shining example]].)** Ryan manages to outdo him [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij-rnUMh8as#t=1m18s by pure accident]]...-->'''Ryan''': (playing Tarzan) Before you come, [[UnEntendre Tarzan only have animals]]...\\* audience groans loudly as Ryan tries to continue, [[ThatCameOutWrong cracking him up]]*\\'''Ryan''': I mean as friends!** It should be noted that the UK series wasn't above this (as the mention of Welsh in the foreword indicates), and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBK1rMmoANI&feature=related merely picking 'sheep' for a suggestion made the jokes unavoidable]].-->Jim Sweeney: (translating Josie's [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign faux-Albanian]]) "I like to stroke the big ones... Some of those sheep play really hard-to-get... (catches Josie in an [[NotWhatItLooksLike unfortunate gesture]]) ...I think that speaks for itself..."** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jz-NTAsDyQ "I'll give you one point for every time the sheep sound excited me..."]] [[hottip:*:Which might actually be a case of HoYay instead, given that Ryan was making said sound...]]** In one game of ''Let's Make a Date'' Colin was given the character of a man who "gets turned on by danger" and Ryan was a "ravenous" boa contrictor. It was played erotically almost from the start.* ''Series/RedDwarf'': Lister complains that he's personally broken four of the five holy commandments he supposedly passed down to the Cat people; "I'd've broken the fifth, but there's no sheep on board."* Mentioned in ''Series/TheThickOfIt'' when Malcolm gives Olly a bollocking for questioning one of his more unscrupulous schemes: "Don't start with the moral objections, you fuckin' BluePeter badge-wearing ponce! Go and make a contribution to fuckin' Amnesty International! Go and buy a goat that a whole village can [[LastSecondWordSwap fuck]]!"* Corky from ''Series/MurphyBrown'' was first runner up at the Miss America contest, but got the crown when the winner was forced to resign. Why?-->'''Corky''': She told everyone she loved animals, but who would have thought to take her literally?* In one episode ([=s26e03=]) of ''HaveIGotNewsForYou'' Paul tells [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJVzH_iduHc this]] story of a badger.* ''Series/TheDailyShow'' started its [[http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-august-3-2009/thank-you--south-carolina- "Thank You South Carolina" segment]] after a man from there received press attention for having sex with a horse after having already pled guilty to having had sex with the same horse. And they happened to discover this on the heels of the Sanford scandal.** ''Series/TheColbertReport'' [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/343094/august-02-2010/alpha-dog-of-the-week---david-h--brooks covered]] the case of the absurd ConspicuousConsumption of [[CorruptCorporateExecutive military contractor David Brooks]] and managed to imply he's been raping his horses (because his reaction to the problem of a staffer testifying against him was to go to his racehorse veterinarian and ask for a "memory-erasing pill").* Gonzo of ''Series/TheMuppetShow'' has an on-again, off-again relationship with both anthropomorphic Muppet hen as well as real cows and hens.* Referenced in ''{{Lexx}}'': "It's all here. You have babes, boys, beasts, thinner, fatter, hunks, chunks, monks, twins dipped in batter, the wiggle, the jiggle, the oo-la-la, people to spank you, and sheep to go baa" - Schlemmi, Luvliner* One episode of ''{{QI}}'' has Stephen Fry ask, "What is the difference between a Carlisle Surprise, a Reverse Canterbury Delight, and a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff?" Welsh comedian Rob Brydon attacks Stephen for "institutionalized racism that is accepted when it's addressed at the Welsh," answers the last bit by saying you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in Cardiff "a leisure center," then castigates the other panelists and the audience for laughing.** There's also a bit in another episode where Stephen Fry says the "You can get a lot from goats. You can get cheese, you can get wool you can get sex-"* A characteristically bizarre subversion on ''Series/{{House}}'': a teenage boy came to the clinic asking for drugs to kill his sex drive, claiming it was because he was very attracted to cows and didn't know how much longer he could hold out. Turned out it was actually his hot stepmother he was attracted to. And he didn't want to admit that. So he pretended he was into cows. Okay.** Also, one time, House was talking with Thirteen and another female doctor in his office, while on his computer. The female doctor looks at the computer screen (which cannot be seen) and gets a noticeably squicked out expression. House asks her, "do you have a problem with the naked female form?" Thirteen then says "I just don't think she's used to seeing it spooning with the naked ''dolphin'' form." This being House, it was most likely a ploy to get them to go away faster. Probably.** In another episode, a clinic patient has a skin condition normally found in horses and related quadrupeds. When she says she's an actress, House jumps to certain conclusions about her "art." [[spoiler:In fact, she is playing the Virgin Mary in a live-action Christmas pageant, in which she [[UnEntendre rides a donkey]].]]* In ''TrailerParkBoys'', Ricky randomly tries to make a joke about this to Julian, completely unrelated to what they were doing at the time.* Probably innumerable examples on ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'', but two that stand out include a census worker interviewing an addled ChristopherWalken, who reveals that his wife is a bobcat; and a spoof of daytime talk shows that send unruly teens to boot camps, in which ChristinaRicci plays a girl whose mother catches her playing with the family dog, and is afraid that she will give birth to "biracial dog babies".** On one show, Woody Harrelson heads a trio of lonesome singing cowboys - one lyric being "And the horse starts to look good by the campfire..."* On ''Series/BoyMeetsWorld'' there is a FlashForward to a potential future in which the whole gang had broken up and in this future [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Eric]] became an insane [[TheHermit hermit]] living in the woods who married a moose. Hopefully it was a platonic marriage...* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'' gives us the following exchange:-->'''Raj''': I'm telling you dude, the only way to make you feel better about Penny going out with other guys, is for you to get back on the whores.\\'''Howard''': ... "horse".\\'''Raj''': What?\\'''Howard''': The phrase is "get back on the horse"... not "whores".\\'''Raj''': That's disgusting, dude![[/folder]]

[[folder:Music]]* Music/{{GWAR}}'s "Fuckin' an Animal" fits this in as strict a sense as possible. Their song "Sexecutioner" does so a little bit more subtly.* "Music/Dirty Deeds (Done with Sheep)" (a parody of an Music/{{ACDC}} song). That is all.* Music/WeirdAlYankovic. "Virus Alert". One of the dreaded features of the virus is that it will "make you physically attracted to sheep". Maybe not as bad as causing a major rift in time and space, but still...** The bickering couple in "Jerry Springer" have cheated on each other with (among others) her dog Woofie and his pet goat.-->"That goat doesn't love you!"* From Music/TomLehrer's introduction to his song "[[SouthOfTheBorder In Old Mexico]]": "His educational career began, interestingly enough, in agricultural school, where he majored in animal husbandry, until they.. caught him at it one day..."* From John Butler's "Hand of the Almighty"** - Now Ray was full aware/that some sheep were over there/and he knew them in the biblical sense!"* The many strange habits of Harald, in the Swedish song ''Haralds konstiga vanor'', apparently include getting a little too friendly with sheep.* Related: One Welsh singer (a thirteen-year-old girl) had her album recalled so that they could alter the cover. Why? She was standing in a field with sheep. Nobody wanted the obvious jokes made.* The infamous BawdySong, "The Good Ship Venus" has a verse about the ship's dog, Rover. You can pretty much guess what the pirate narrators do to the hound in question.* The Ivor Biggun song "Halfway Up Virginia" details the sexual exploits of a stereotypical hillbilly. The singer gleefully admits to having sex with 49 sheep, a mule, a golden retriever, a skunk, a woodchuck, an unspecified number of polecats, an unspecified number of raccoons, a hound dog, a groundhog, an opossum and pretty much anything that [[strike:moves]] doesn't run away fast enough. He then makes the following statement:-->"And every last one is female,\\'Cos there ain't nothing strange about me!"* "Baby Ice Dog" by Music/BlueOysterCult, in which it is implied that the narrator not only slept with, but also [[CrossesTheLineTwice pimped out his husky.]]* "So What?" by Anti-Nowhere League (popularized by Music/{{Metallica}}'s cover of it), includes, [[BawdySong among other obscenities]] "And I've fucked a sheep, I've fucked a goat, I rammed my cock right down his throat!"* The Brazilian song "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOXpi1_mejQ Mundo Animal]]", by RefugeInVulgarity experts Mamonas Assassinas, opens with what could be translated as:-->Eating armadillo is good\\To bad it hurts your back\\The animal's too short\\That's why I prefer the goats** It should be noted that "eating" is a slang for, [[IntercourseWithYou you know...]]* Many of Music/WesleyWillis' songs deal with bestiality ("Suck a Cheetah's Dick", "Drink a Camel's Cum"). A schizophrenic, Willis believed that demons were tormenting him, and that the songs would disgust the demons enough to leave him alone.* The popular Ren Fair song [[IntercourseWithYou Roll Your Leg Over]] features the lyric:-->"Some people wonder why Scotsmen like sheep/ 'Tis only because [[GagPenis we need something that deep]]."* "The Lonely Shepherd" by Music/PigWithTheFaceOfABoy is about a shepherd who slept with another shepherd's wife, and then starts to feel a bit lonely...* The Spaniard song [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSjUR5IEBKM "La Cabra"]] (translated as "The Goat") from the gag band ''Los Farlopez'' is ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin [[spoiler:until ''they kill her'' after having too much sex with her.]][[/folder]]

[[folder:New Media]]* In ''WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog'', the Bad Reverend's audition for the Evil League of Evil had him asserting against rumors (and his own mutterings) that he would not molest Bad Horse.** And inverted when Bad Horse's letters include directions to "Make the Bad Horse gleeful/ Or [[UnusualEuphemism he'll make you his mare]]!"* Used in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr7OAAP-4-g this]] WebAnimation/YoutubePoop. (See 0:50)* Notable Aversion: For all [[NauseaFuel its]] [[BrainBleach other]] [[BodyHorror crimes]] and despite its name, "[[ShockSite Goatse.cx]]" does not concern this trope, or [[WordSaladTitle having anything even vaguely related to goats]]. This is because [[FunWithAcronyms Goatse is an abbreviation, which stands for (warning, vulgar)]] [[spoiler:[[FunWithAcronyms Guy Opens Ass To Show Everyone]]]].[[/folder]]

[[folder:Newspaper Comic Collections]]* In the book-only ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}'' collection ''Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless'', Dogbert says that a mother has a lifetime right to tell embarrassing stories about her children. Cut to a woman, seated beside her grown son, asking someone "Did I ever tell you about Jeffrey's first visit to the zoo?...Well, Jeffrey was just reaching puberty and still confused about a lot of things..." The son begs her in anguish to stop, but to no avail: "And to this day he's still banned from the monkey cage area."[[/folder]]

[[folder:ProfessionalWrestling]]* In October 1999, The Godfather tried to offer his hoes to Mideon before a match. Mideon stated "I don't do hoes, but do you have any farm animals?" Note that Mideon's former gimmick is that of Phineas I. Godwinn, a pig farmer.** Then there was the following month on Thanksgiving when he allegedly [[{{Squick}} had intercourse with a turkey]]...* On a 2010 episode of TNA [=iMPACT!=], Wrestling/RicFlair made one of his infamous rambling promos, wherein he claimed to have had sex with Zenyatta. A race horse.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Radio]]* In an episode of ''Radio/JustAMinute'' recorded in Cardiff, one of the panelists was challenged for "deviating from the subject" because he was talking about sheep. He quickly responded "But sheep aren't considered a deviation in Wales."[[/folder]]

[[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]]* CheechAndChong's skit "Hey Margaret" has the couple Harry (Chong) and Margaret (Cheech) watching a porno movie where, among other things, the lead actress has sex with a dog. Also, in "The Old Man In The Park", where the Old Man (Chong) tells the Punk (Cheech) that the Punk could be his son because "I used to fuck Buffalo. In fact, you look just like your momma."* One of JeffFoxworthy's "You Might be a Redneck"s is "If your parole states you can not own sheep".* Jim Gaffigan, in a hidden track at the end of the album "Doing My Time," plays a character who talks about how he is always reminded of fucking a donkey when he returns home. His excuse: "I was drunk and he mumbled something."* Creator/EllenDeGeneres did a bit about folks objecting to gay marriage stating "next thing, people will be marrying goats" and wondering why they always go there first thing. "Mom, Dad...this is Billy."* Joe Rogan: "You don't fuck sheep because they're hot. You do it because they're that high and no one's looking. Or there's a guy with a camera and he's giving you money."* In BobSaget's HBO Special ''That Ain't Right'', Bob goes on a long riff to randomly-picked audience member Jared, warning him about the dangers of fucking various animals, including goats, ostriches, turtles, and porcupines.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Tabletop Games]]* ''TabletopGame/{{Exalted}}'' features the Lunars, blessed of Luna and boon companions to the Solars. They generally have beast-like traits (including a "totem animal" they can change into at will), and with this comes the ability to breed [[HalfHumanHybrid Beastmen]]. Thing is, to do it, one of the parties has to be bestial, and the other party has to be humanoid... and the Lunars can be either.* The [[BeastMan Gangrel]] clan sourcebook for ''TabletopGame/VampireTheRequiem'' has a historian claiming that the first Gangrel were made when barbarian kings had relations with animals, and were born of ancient sorcery playing on the twisted beings that emerged. Mind you, [[MultipleChoicePast that may not be the truth]] (to put it mildly), but man, you can just see most of the clan walking out into sunlight if that turned out to be the truth, can't you?** [-''"[[HalfHumanHybrid The Conception]] of [[TabletopGame/WerewolfTheApocalypse the Garou]]"'', Size 2 (picture)\\[[TabletopGame/VampireTheMasquerade Gangrel Kindred]] roll Generation with difficulty of Willpower and suffer successes as Aggravated (reflexive Fortitude soak possible);\\[[MadOracle Malkavian Kindred]] roll Willpower with difficulty of '''9''' to resist [[LaughingMad laughing uncontrollably]];\\[[AristocratsAreEvil Ventrue Kindred]] roll the same roll as Malkavians to resist [[VomitIndiscretionShot thowing up]];\\[[TabletopGame/WerewolfTheApocalypse Garou and other Changing Breeds]] roll Willpower with difficulty of 8 to resist [[HeroicBSOD para]][[VillainousBSOD lysis]].\\[[CuriosityIsACrapshoot For the curious]],it's [[note]][[WildChild pre-embrace Ennoia (Gangrel Antedeluvian)]][=/=][[http://whitewolf.wikia.com/wiki/Ennoia her step-nephew.]][[/note]] Really. -]*** The Garou in the cWoD had wolves as Kinfolk as well as humans. So, bestiality is a part of life for most of the Tribes. [[/folder]]

[[folder:Theater]]* Edward Albee's ''The Goat or Who Is Sylvia''.* The Dauphin in Shakespeare's ''Theatre/HenryV'' is rather disconcertingly fond of his horse:-->'''Dauphin:''' I once writ a sonnet in his praise and began thus: "Wonder of nature --"\\'''Constable:''' I have heard a sonnet begin so to one's mistress.\\'''Dauphin:''' Then did they imitate that which I composed to my courser, for my horse is my mistress.** The dialogue continues in this vein for quite a while.* In ''Rimers of Eldritch'', Skelly Manor first appears onstage with local boys baaing at him. Nothing explicit is stated and nothing is ever proven. It's used more to demonstrate Skelly's isolation from the town and how rumors move through it.* Played for tragedy in ''Our Breath is as Light as a Hummingbird's Spine'', since there's no way to have sex with a bird. However, the main character does glue feathers and a beak onto a sex toy. (Decide for yourself whether that's {{Squick}}, unintentionally funny, or just as pathetic as it's supposed to be.)* The play ''Theatre/{{Equus}}'' by Peter Schaffer concerns a young stablehand's issues with being virtually incapable to distinguish between affection for horses and sexual attraction, thanks to a screwed-up childhood. It being a drama piece, it's also pretty disturbing.* In ''Theatre/RockOfAges'', Dennis Du Pree uses this trope to convince Stacee Jaxx to play at his bar.-->'''Dennis:''' Remember the time we fucked that llama?* This Troper was involved in a variety show where this trope was used almost verbatim. In this skit, a man is trying to get into the gates of heaven. He was a philanthropist and devout Christian, and he isn't sure why he's being denied entry.-->'''St Peter:''' Remember, God sees all.\\'''Man:''' Then you know about the-\\'''St Peter:''' Yep.\\'''Man:''' And the-\\'''St Peter:''' Yep.\\'''Man:''' And that one time...\\'''St Peter:''' Heh, we got that one on tape!\\'''Man:''' But...but she was eighteen!\\'''St Peter:''' Still a goat.\\[beat][[/folder]]

[[folder:Video Games]]* A quest to disgrace a supermodel in ''VideoGame/VampireTheMasqueradeBloodlines'' results in catching her in a threesome with a llama.* In ''[[VideoGame/TotalWar Rome: Total War]]'', if your general is constantly out on campaign, his retinue may eventually include a Pet Sheep.-->"Being away from home and loved ones... can be a lonely life."* In ''VideoGame/NoOneLivesForever'', when advancing through the corridors of the BigBad's base, you hear a man whispering love words to ''someone'', something like: "Now we are all alone..." Then you open a door and find that man alone with a goat. The man says: "Oh, hi...um, how did this goat got in here?" You have the option of shooting them both.** Also, you find references to H.A.R.M. goons and their, ahem, “recreation” with sheep throughout the game.* From ''VideoGame/{{Fallout 3}}'': The G.O.A.T. Whisperer.** From ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'', you got Cook-cook, one of the [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast fiends]] leaders. Flamethrower wielding pyromaniac, psychotic, rapist, goes berserk when you kill Queenee, his Brahmin. It's not stated outright, but heavily implied he screwed it.* In ''{{VideoGame/Arcanum|OfSteamworksAndMagickObscura}}'', you can visit a brothel. Turn down the offer for a girl a few times, [[TwinThreesomeFantasy you get two]]. Turn that one down, you get... a sheep.* In ''VideoGame/{{Overlord}}'', at one point you and your minions bust into the headquarters of a succubus-worshiping sex cult. Bust down one of the locked doors in the headquarters, and you'll find several cultists and a sheep.* In ''VideoGame/BlackAndWhite'', at one point you're asked to get specific supplies to help a troupe of very poor singers finish building their boat (specifically, wood and food). However, you can also drop off various other things, including a sheep. This elicits the response "Ah, a sheep! Sheep have many uses... and the voyage is long...".** Ironically, if you drop off a woman, the response is much less enthusiastic.*** They were likely trying to keep in theme with the time period and its superstitions. (Not that it wasn't merited, as you could always expect the ratio of men to outweigh the women. It was better to just ignore the problems such a situation could present.)* ''[[VideoGame/AssassinsCreedII Assassin's Creed II]]'' has a mission where you deliver a message to a farmer, invoking [[Literature/TheBible Leviticus 18:23]]. You can guess what it refers to...* In the video game of ''Film/MontyPythonsTheMeaningOfLife'', there's a part where clicking on something brings up "goat porn", and then EricIdle starts yelling about, "Hey, everyone, look here right now! This guy likes goats!"* Occurs within the first playable minute of ''RogueWarrior'':-->'''MissionControl:''' What's your status?\\'''Dick Marcinko:''' It's a total goatfuck!** As for what "goatfuck" means in Marcinko-ese, it means things have gone completely fubar.* In ''VideoGame/MassEffect2'', if you try to talk to Mordin in the ''Normandy'', you may get this exchange:-->'''Shepard:''' Have you got a minute to talk?\\'''Mordin:''' Perhaps later. Trying to determine how Scale-itch got onto ''Normandy''. Sexually transmitted disease only carried by varren. Implications...''unpleasant''...** Current bets that [[ExtremeOmnisexual Kelly]] ''isn't'' somehow responsible are twenty to one, despite [[WMG/PoisonOakEpilepticTrees few wanting it]] [[PerverseSexualLust to actually be true]].* ''VideoGame/DragonAge: Origins'' has a brothel, the Pearl, where you can sleep with anything, ''anything''. When the Madam is told to "Surprise Me", one of the random options has you waking up in a daze with a goat that looks at you funny.** In both the preceding and ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'', a "Surprise Me" may end with two nugs (some kind of rabbit/pig hybrid) that "avoid eye contact, trying to look busy".* ''VideoGame/{{Gothic}}'' has the annoying Mud, who follows you everywhere while telling annoying stories about himself. Among other things, he mentions that he was thrown in the prison colony for "liking animals too much".** One of the ways in which you can taunt the warrior Kharim is suggesting that his father was having "fun" with sheep. Kharim's reply is an embarrassed "well, there were rumors..."* One of the random conversations that {{N|onPlayerCharacter}}PCs can have in ''VideoGame/TheDarkness'' is one NPC asking if he gave a moose a million dollars to have sex with him, would it work?-->'''Guy 1:''' If I gave a moose a million dollars would it have sex with me?\\'''Guy 2:''' Well it would have to some sort of genetically engineered smart moose for it to work.\\'''Guy 1:''' Where could I find such a moose?\\'''Guy 2:''' Sweden is open about sexuality so they probably allow bestiality as well.\\'''Guy 1:''' Heh-heh...naughty Swedish mooses...* There is something of a RunningGag among the ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'' fanbase about the possible origins of [[ALoadOfBull the Tauren race]]. This was codified by the [=WoW=] machinima rendering of ''TheInternetIsForPorn'', which concludes with the hilarious rebus: Human + Cow = Tauren.** In an actual canon example; the night elves' goddess, Elune, who by all official accounts looks like a big glowing night elf woman, had an affair with the demigod Malorne, whose only known form was that of a giant (read, two hundred feet tall) stag. This resulted in the birth of Cenarius, who looked like a centaur with a night elf upper body and a stag lower body. Being that these are deities, this is justified; just look at the mythology examples above.* ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'' is fond of this: a stranger mission (entitled "Who Are You To Judge?") involves returning a horse to its ''very'' affectionate owner, who has named the horse 'Lucy' and refers to her as his "girl". The horse thief who accompanies you on said mission comments that her "daddy kept goats". And lastly there's an advertisement in the newspaper for a publication called ''Sexing Livestock Quarterly''. It sure is lonely out west...** For the record, sexing chicks ([[UnEntendre as in sorting males from females]]) is an actual job. Which isn't to say the makers of ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'' aren't above a bit of DoubleEntendre.* In ''[[VideoGame/TonyHawksProSkater Tony Hawk's Underground]]'', a police officer in Tampa, Florida pulls over your van for a busted tail light, expired license plate, and a "Cops push Mongo" bumper sticker, and your van gets impounded. While roaming the city later, you can find the same officer hiding behind a strip club standing behind a goat...* ''VideoGame/FableIII'': When the player has the option of searching DepravedBisexual Reaver's bedroom, you can find caged chickens in there.* ''VideoGame/JaggedAlliance 2'' features the appropriately-named [[TheClan Hicks clan]], an entire huge extended family of armed-to-the-teeth {{Corrupt Hick}}s. Talking to them hints at their pastimes. One is terrorizing the local city, the other is cow tipping...-->'''Hick NPC''': ...but what you don't hear is what you can do with the cows afterward.* More implied ([[UnfortunateImplications or just unintentional]]) than direct, but [[VideoGame/PokemonBlackAndWhite Yamask]] is capable of breeding with Pokemon (who are the animals of the Pokemon world, [[{{Mon}} of course]]) of the Amorphous or Mineral egg groups. [[FridgeHorror Yamask were once]] ''[[WasOnceAMan human.]]'' [[{{Squick}} Game Freak, ew. Just, ew.]]** Same game, same category, there's a rumor apparently backed by [[WordOfGod Hint of God]] that [[spoiler: [[AntiVillain N Harmonia]]]] is [[HalfHumanHybrid the human son of a Pokemon]]. Said character is known to have a human father, therefore... [[spoiler: Possibly subverted when one of the other sages mentions that Ghetsis might not actually be N's father... but then, who or what was?]]*** Made even weirder by the fact that the #1 suspect for his Pokemon parent, [[FantasticFoxes Zoroark]], does not belong to the Human-like egg group (despite being bipedal).* Perhaps in the most unintentionally disturbing and unneeded way, in ''VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2006'', in order to [[spoiler: bring him back to life along with the seven Chaos Emeralds]], Elise the human princess does a (somewhat selfish sounding) chant before [[spoiler: kissing Sonic the Hedgehog.]]** [[spoiler: On the lips.]]*** "I know when I think Sonic the Hedgehog, I think of deep, emotional romance." - ''LetsPlay/ClementJ642''[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Comics]]* Tycho from ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'' seems to have a...fondness for videos involving [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/01/18/ giraffes]] (and possibly [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/10/20/advertising-in-the-future/ ostriches]] as well).** It's the necks. They're slender.** Also [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/7/18/ this comic]].** And then of course, there's... ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1hhzpsj9ms This]]''...*** That's not the only one, note that [[SociopathicHero Max]] is the one who is the most visibly creeped out by Tycho.* And of course, ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'' had Monette and the koala... but in her defense, it wasn't so much bestialist tendencies as a combination of drunkenness and [[ReallyGetsAround Really Getting Around]].** And even now she is still trying to live it down; her girlfriend at one point mentions use of a koala mask during sex.** Not to mention that, when she starts gaining more fame as an actress, the studio made sure the Koala was kept out of the picture - by paying it off.* ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'': Red Mage. Animal Husbandry. That is all.-->'''Black Mage:''' ''Why'' is that your answer for everything? '''''How''''' is that your answer for everything?!* The only reason the protagonists of ''Webcomic/ExterminatusNow'' [[UltimateJobSecurity manage to remain employed]] is due to them blackmailing their employer, Inquisition Commander Schaefer, with the knowledge of his [[http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20040723.html chicken]] [[http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20040312.html fetish]]. He makes it [[http://exterminatusnow.comicgenesis.com/d/20050630.html almost too easy]] at times.* ''Webcomic/AnsemRetort'' provides this gem:-->'''Sora:''' Where do mermaids come from?\\'''[[Disney/TheLittleMermaid Ariel]]:''' Well, when a man loves a dolphin more than society says he should...** In addition, Larxene got a fortune [[WatchItStoned blunt]] from Yuffie's Chinese restaurant which said "Small animals will bring you great happiness" and promptly added "... in bed!" Possibly not a genuine example, since adding "... in bed" to fortune cookie fortunes is a fairly well-known game, but...* Stef from ''Webcomic/UserFriendly'' supposedly has a thing for Llamas. In fact, the strip repeatedly makes jokes about [[http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20050821 Llama porn...]]* There's a running gag in ''Webcomic/{{Brathalla}}'' that [[TechnicalPacifist Tyr]]'s proclamations of loving animals to be taken as an admittance that he's a zoophile, to where [[BigBadassWolf Fenrir]] asked him not to get too close.* In ''Webcomic/DMOfTheRings'', the DM/Tolkien explains how the Rohirrim are such excellent riders. The players paraphrase it as "The guys with unnaturally close relations with their horses". Cue Gimli rolling a [[CriticalFailure natural 1]] on his diplomacy check...-->'''Gimli:''' Tell me your name, horse-f\\'''Aragorn:''' [[CurseCutShort GIMLI!]]* Tomato from ''[[http://www.agameoffools.com A Game of Fools]]'' is [[http://agameoffools.com/comic_76.html pretty]] [[http://agameoffools.com/comic_101.html heavily]] [[http://agameoffools.com/comic_141.html implied]] to swing this way, among [[AnythingThatMoves many, many other bizarre fetishes]].* Even the FurryFandom gets in on this gag sometimes. [[AllThereInTheManual Background information]] for ''Webcomic/{{Concession}}'' mentions that the Church of Gaia is looked down upon somewhat in-universe for its advocation of sex between furries and non-anthropomorphic animals. Artie's doctor is briefly mentioned to have a fetish for sharks, and after the incident with Chelsie Artie claims Joel has no right to judge him because of [[NoodleIncident "that time you woke up with that feral dog"]].** Artie references the same ([[AnythingThatMoves probably]]) [[http://concessioncomic.com/index.php?pid=20090529 incident]] [[BrickJoke much later]].* In ''Webcomic/ScandinaviaAndTheWorld'', when discussing past crimes countries have been accused of, it's discovered that Sweden was arrested for zoophilia. In his defense, he was young, horny and it was a really cute horse.** Wales is in a relationship with New Zealand...who is a sheep. [[FridgeLogic Somehow]], they even have a child together, [[HalfHumanHybrid New South Wales]]. Norway's brain broke when he realized that. (For the record, NSW is a talking lamb.)** In that same comic, Denmark expressed interest in banging a sheep too. In HIS defense, he was drunk.* In ''Webcomic/KeychainOfCreation'', building on the ''TabletopGame/{{Exalted}}'' example above, Marena, an AnythingThatMoves fox-totem Lunar, is quizzed by renegade Deathknight Secret on how many people she's had sex with. Her response ends with the memorable line, "Define people."* Hank of ''IndefensiblePositions'' named his horse Uni, but states that it's not short for Unicorn. "See, a unicorn is a horse with a magical horn. When I got to know this pony, I named her Unicu-" Fortunately, he's interrupted before he can finish, but he later makes a philosophical point by describing what it's like to have sex with a horse.* The now-wife of webcomic artist David Hopkins, creator of ''Webcomic/{{Jack}}'', was allegedly stalked and severely harassed by a creepy ex-boyfriend who had boasted repeatedly to her of his ... misadventures ... involving the blowholes of beached dolphins. They had such problems with him they took out their frustrations by putting an {{Expy}} of him in the comic, condemned by Hell to be raped and otherwise assaulted by dolphins for eternity, and setting the language filter on the comic's forum to translate every instance of his first name to "Dolphinfucker".* Referenced in ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' when the Oracle [[spoiler:predicts his next death at the hands of a druid client and asks his friends to be ready with a Resurrection spell]] "when I tell him yes, his wife is cheating on him, and the other man is his animal companion. Turns out giving enhanced intelligence to a critter who is literally hung like a bear doesn't always work out the way you'd think."** Elan needs an excuse to leave the room:-->'''Elan:''' Uh, dad? Haley and I need to go have sex.\\'''Haley:''' Come on, [[AmbiguousGender V]]. And bring the cat, just in case.\\'''Tarquin:''' ...Huh.* Florence and Winston's relationship in ''WebComic/{{Freefall}}'' [[UpliftedAnimal isn't exactly this]], but it's referenced in these terms a few times (most obviously when Winston remarks that it's inappropriate for a doctor to get involved with his patients, but even less appropriate for a veterinarian to do so). Given who the more proactive party is, it is also treated as [[InvertedTrope something else]].* Katerina of ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt'' develops a mutual attraction with a boy named Alistair who is visiting the Court for a week. [[ItMakesSenseInContext To make a long story short]], he gets permanently [[{{Animorphism}} turned into a bird]] at the end of that week. Now, this in itself is innocent enough; after all, she fell in love with Alistair while he was still human, and she didn't know anything about him turning into a bird until right when he was about to leave. But immediately after this whole arc, Katerina is later shown sharing with Antimony a picture of a "cute boy" -- in an ornithological journal. She also seems to have an implied bird fetish in later strips.* [[http://oglaf.com/husbandry/1/ This]] ''Webcomic/{{Oglaf}}'' strip.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]* A reviewer on BashOrg plays an RPG: http://bash.org/?1897* Victoria of ''TheTwilightChronicles'' is heavily hinted to have slept with Jacob's dog. It's more or less confirmed a few episodes later when Carlisle mentions that he left Mexico because Victoria wanted to bring dogs into their sex life.* Amaranth in ''Literature/TalesOfMU'' is bound by her nature to have sex with intelligent beings who want it. She sends her goddess burnt offerings of reports on animal cognition in the hopes of having the definition expanded.* Possibly deconstructed by the short web series, ''WebAnimation/ThereSheIs''; the manner of revulsion from the public caused by a relationship between a rabbit and a cat seems to be portrayed somewhere between FantasticRacism and straight up bestiality. Especially deconstructed because the rationale behind such an extreme hatred is completely lost on the viewer.** If one can read their site (They're Korean), this is intentional.* Skippy's List Of Things Not To Do In The US Army involves this at some level.** “Um…a rubber sheep…[[ICanExplain I can explain why that’s there…”]]* Ed and Al's "experiments" on sheep is a running gag in Kit-chan's ''FullMetalAlchemist'' TheAbridgedSeries [[http://inulovinkit.livejournal.com/tag/capsummary capsummaries]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/user/FMAVidsummaries videos]].* There is an infamous fanfic on ''Roleplay/SurvivalOfTheFittest'''s KinkMeme that pairs Bridget Connolly and a dog. Someone ''requested'' this. Another request involves [[MemeticMolester Rosa Fiametta]] and a ''horse''. You may get out the BrainBleach.** Particularly now that the latter has been answered too. Graphically.* When ''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob'' reviewed ''Island of Death'', he couldn't get past the fact that the male character did, in fact, screw a goat.* ''{{Welshy}}'', in order to prove he's British to Mike J, stated that the things he had screwed included a bagel, [[RunningGag his sister]], and a goat.* In [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/nash/wtfiwwy/28552-all-creatures-great-and-dumb an episode]] of ''WebVideo/WhatTheFuckIsWrongWithYou'', Nash gets revolted at [[http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/world/british-man-in-court-over-pornographic-sex-squid-snap/story-e6frf7lf-1225865778205 a guy who was caught screwing a dead squid,]] and in [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/nash/wtfiwwy/29308-disorganized-crime another]] he's shocked at [[http://www.king5.com/news/Whatcom-County-man-arrested-in-bestiality-case-91003384.html an animal brothel.]]* In ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'' review of ''Film/{{Signs}}'', Doug dubs the voices of the aliens when he wonders what they could possibly be saying during their time of their attack. After one tries to break down a door and fails, after being insulted the alien calls the other alien a "slug fucker". It can be watched [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hULPq7xijq4 here]].* A 2007 DarwinAward entitled [[http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-17.html "A Cow-ardly Death"]], caused by "unwanted amorous advances on a heifer". Said heifer kicked her would-be suitor to death.[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]* The ''Chickenlover'' episode of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''.** And I think there was one where they visit Mexico, cheering at the sights. One of these is a donkey show.** And of course, Mr. Garrison, who's had sex with (at minimum) a pigeon and a pig.** Lets not get into their depiction of PETA...-->'''Terrance:''' You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip!\\'''Phillip:''' Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?\\'''Terrance:''' Well, let's see. [[CaptainObvious First of all, you fuck pigs]].** Implied with Chef. He's looking through a book of photos of him and the many women he's made love too. When Cartman points to a picture of him naked with a goat and asks what he was doing he says it's nothing.* Troy [=McClure=] of ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' has, as one of his reasons for his career's downturn, a scandal involving his "actions" at the Springfield Aquarium.-->'''Legs:''' I thought you said Troy [=McClure=] was dead?\\'''Fat Tony:''' No, what I said was he ''[[ExactWords sleeps with the fishes]]''.* Quagmire, of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', has examples of this among his many, many other perversions.** Peter has also learned what the blowhole is NOT for, which is why he can never visit Sea World again.** And those weren't Brian's puppies after all. Seabreeze, you're a whore.*** Oddly, they never tackled the inversion of Brian and his human girlfriend...until Brian traveled to an alternate universe where humans' and dogs' roles were reversed. Then his desire for human women became Squick.*** The best moment involving Quagmire has GOT to be their drinking game on the episode where they become fishermen. The gang continues to come up with increasingly ridiculous scenarios for a sex drinking game where you take a shot if you've done it, which result in him being the only one getting drunk. A few even result in him taking MULTIPLE shots. [[CharlesAtlasSuperpower Truly, a hero without limits.]]*** And [[http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=5789 here's the video]].-->'''Joe''': I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touched myself.\\'''Quagmire''': Oh come on! (takes drink)* In ''WesternAnimation/TheMarvelousMisadventuresOfFlapjack'', when the evil inventor's brother gets a crush on Bubbie, a whale, Captain K'nuckles calls him a "disgusting weirdo."** In another episode Bubbie desides to show off a necklace Flapjack made her and two sailors cat call and compliment her.* Given it's [[TheDeepSouth setting]] and [[RefugeInAudacity tone]], ''WesternAnimation/{{Squidbillies}}'' is bound to have some of this.-->'''Early''': You wanna bang y'allself a goat? 'Cause the goat's dead, but, uh, we c'n still do this thang. Hell, I'll give you boys a discount!** The main characters are a family of squids. By definition any sex they have is either this or incest.* ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'': Well I guess it's about that time [[http://robotchicken.wikia.com/wiki/Zoo_Mommy to tell you boys why I was fired from the zoo.]]* Averted in ''WesternAnimation/DrawnTogether''. In "Mexican't Buy Me Love", in an attempt to earn money and get a flight home, Yoot attempts to put on a donkey show. The Donkey, in reply to that then says 'Even a filthy animal like myself has standards'* Carl of ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce'' is implied to have an interest in animals.-->'''Carl''': Did you get that link I sent you about the woman having sex with a bee?* A running joke on ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}'', in which various characters comment about how much Malory loved her dog, Duchess. Malory keeps a photo of herself on her desk, lying naked with Duchess in a pose which [[HoYay suggests far more intimacy than the relationship a normal owner would have with their pet]].* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'': "You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately attractive monkey?!"[[/folder]]

[[folder:Other]]* ''T Shirt Hell'' has advertised on this very site, [[http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/baaaaaa-means-nooooo/ a shirt]] which states, "Remember, Baah means no."** An older one, available [[http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/may-the-horse-be-with-you/ here]], used ''Franchise/StarWars'' font and was titled "May the Horse be With You" with a silhouette of a horse and a woman, um...* RuleThirtyFour has this going for it in spades.* A man left his workstation unlocked while browsing the [[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/ Straight Dope Message Boards]]; a mischievous coworker stopped by his unattended cubicle and started a topic for him. The subject? "Sex with sheep is fun." (He has, of course, [[NeverLiveItDown yet to live this down]]).* Inverted [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRm8okHhapU&feature=player_embedded in this infamous video]].* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss8LDBNcsWc On the subject of infamous videos...]]* A quote attributed to comedian Richard Jeni: "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in, 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire,' and the computer will say, 'Specify breed of goat.'"** It's actually a quote from the book "Dave Barry in Cyberspace".* ThatOtherWiki has [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case an article]] on Mr. Hands, a guy who took it from behind via horse. [[WhatAnIdiot His friends were drunk off their rocks and didn't have him sent to the ER when the resulting act]] [[OutWithABang perforated his colon and caused it to bleed]].** TruthInTelevision, actually.* Go try to play a game of ''TabletopGame/SettlersOfCatan''. We'll wait here.** [[DontExplainTheJoke For the benefit of non-players]]: The speaker intends to offer to trade his lumber resources to anyone willing to pay in wool. What comes out, though, is "[[UnEntendre I have wood for sheep]]."* In some versions of the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goatman_(Maryland) Goatman]] {{urban legend|s}}, its creation is attributed to a government researcher who was engaged in [[UnusualEuphemism in-depth studies]] of goats.* [[http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/His_%22wife%22%3F_A_horse%2E His "wife"? A horse.]] Naturally, Fandom Wank turned it into a {{Meme|ticMutation}}.* According to legend (which is untrue), Catherine the Great was very fond of her horses. An urban legend about her death states that she was crushed by a horse while expressing that fondness. [[/folder]]

* A man arrives in a Gold Rush boom town, and asks in the saloon what they do for entertainment, since there are no women in the town. He's told there's a flock of sheep, and everyone has sex with them. The new arrival is horrified by this, but as the days go on he gets more and more desperate. Finally he decides that if he's going to do it, he's going to do it right, so he chooses a sheep, dresses it up, and takes it to the saloon for a drink. When he arrives, everything goes silent, and all the patrons stare at him in shock. Embarassed he stammers "I was told everyone here did it!" "Yeah," comes the reply, "but we don't pick up the sheriff's girl!"

->''"You have no right to judge me! You weren't there! I was a stupid teenager! [[ImAManICantHelpIt I was horny!]] And it was a really cute horse!"''\\--'''Sweden''', ''Webcomic/ScandinaviaAndTheWorld''

to:

->''"You have no right to judge me! You weren't there! I was a stupid teenager! [[ImAManICantHelpIt I was horny!]] And it was a really cute horse!"''\\--'''Sweden''', horse!"''-->--'''Sweden''', ''Webcomic/ScandinaviaAndTheWorld''%%

* IrvineWelsh's novella 'Lorraine Goes to Livingston' features excerpts [[ShowWithinAShow from a regency romance novel one of the characters is writing]] which features a hero who falls in love with a sheep after losing his wife. The hero's friends eventually have the sheep slaughtered and served to him in order to end the infatuation.

to:

* IrvineWelsh's Creator/IrvineWelsh's novella 'Lorraine Goes to Livingston' features excerpts [[ShowWithinAShow from a regency romance novel one of the characters is writing]] which features a hero who falls in love with a sheep after losing his wife. The hero's friends eventually have the sheep slaughtered and served to him in order to end the infatuation.

** Wales is in a relationship with New Zealand...who is a sheep. [[FridgeLogic Somehow]], they even have a child together, [[HalfHumanHybrid New South Wales]]. Norway's brain broke when he realized that.

to:

** Wales is in a relationship with New Zealand...who is a sheep. [[FridgeLogic Somehow]], they even have a child together, [[HalfHumanHybrid New South Wales]]. Norway's brain broke when he realized that. (For the record, NSW is a talking lamb.)

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