Rather than go through it and pick apart his arguments (which would require taking them seriously), we’re just going to list the most delectable chunks for you here. If you want to choke down the whole thing, okay.

You can’t abide by a national anthem that makes you think about the oppression of minorities? Try thinking about the 380,000 Northern soldiers who died in the Civil War primarily fighting to end the enslavement of black men, women and children more than 150 years ago.

Obama says he has suffered the racism of whites locking their cars when he came into view. But don’t most people lock their cars, regardless? Does Obama think cars parked in black neighborhoods sit unlocked?

During the Trayvon Martin killing calamity in Florida, NBA players wore hoodies to symbolize the stereotyping that inspired Martin’s assailant, George Zimmerman.

Yet in the months before and after that NBA protest, crimes commonly were committed — and still are — by those who tried to obscure their identities beneath hoodies.

For what it’s worth, Colin, we agree: The oppression of black Americans remains staggering. But those slave ships haven’t arrived here in over 150 years. The oppression of American blacks is primarily perpetrated by American blacks.