Leonard: Buddy, I-I get that you're worried about me and I-I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die.Sheldon: You don't know that.Leonard: Well... I do know that it won't be from an asteroid strike.Sheldon: You know who else said that? Every cocky T. Rex currently swimming around in the gas tank of your car.

Sheldon: I'm listening to you snore. I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it.Leonard: If it helps you sleep, then why are you sitting herestaring at me like the albino boogeyman?Sheldon: Really, Leonard-- insults? After I spent two hours in your closet waiting for you to fall asleep?

Sheldon: But you don't have a life-threatening condition. Why would you take the risk of surgery?Leonard: Sheldon, it's a routine procedure.Penny: I've heard you complain about his snoring.Sheldon: We... Yes, for the first five or six years, but I've gotten used to it. It helps me sleep. He's like my mucus-powered white noise machine.

Amy: Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just... I want you to know that you don't have to say it back.I know you're not ready, and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates...Sheldon: I love you, too.Amy: You said it.Sheldon: There's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite. But that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.

Amy: Well, you can relax. Just because you think I look pretty doesn't mean we have to spend the night together.Sheldon: Were you hoping we would because it's prom?Amy: I'm always hoping. But tonight I just wanted to have a nice time with you. And maybe dance with someone who has arms.

Leonard: You know, if you're not gonna learn how to do this, they make some pretty good clip-ons.Sheldon: Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on. Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie it for him.Leonard: His name is Alfred, and, yes, he does.

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.Penny: You're kidding. Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.