The Basics: "Runaway train, never going back... wrong way on a one-way track..." -- AHEM. There’s a freight train running conductor-less in rural Pennsylvania, and it’s gaining speed. It’s headed right for the Hooters where Denzel Washington’s daughters work! Where Chris Pine’s estranged wife and son live! Can these two likable everymen team up to halt this seemingly unstoppable choo-choo of death while corporate fat cats sit back and do nothing?? (Hint: Yes they can, but you already knew that.)

What’s The Deal: Director Tony Scott reteams with Denzel Washington after making such modern classics as Crimson Tide, Man on Fire, Déjà Vu, and last year’s crazy-train movie, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3. In TonZel’s second train movie in a row, however, the result is more of the same: Working class hero Denzel is recruited to save a populace from danger on the tracks, only this time the villain’s a machine made of steel instead of the vamping John Travolta and his evil guy mustache. Unstoppable wants desperately to strike a “real life” feeling, but with Scott pulling every tired filmmaking trick in his limited playbook (dizzying cuts, aerial shots, requisite explosions every two minutes no matter what’s happening on screen) every shred of true story credence becomes lost in a flurry of facepalm-inducing character decisions, headache-inducing edits and stupid, preposterous action. Give over to the unintentional absurdity of it all and you might be able to enjoy Unstoppable for what it is: A silly, brainless thriller destined for the cinematic wasteland where Steven Seagal movies and high concept duds go to die.

Who’s Taking It More Seriously Than You: Not Denzel; even Denzel knows he can do these roles in his sleep. Flash the pearly whites, gaze with conviction, show a few cracks, good-naturedly rib the new guy, be the hero because it’s the right thing to do, cash that $20 million paycheck. Chris Pine, however, pouts and glares and emotes as Will Colson, the new kid in the train yard with a chip on his shoulder and something to prove. (The perfectly scruffy Pine comes to life when paired with Denzel, but neither is served by their respective family drama subplots.) Also earning her keep is Rosario Dawson as the ball-busting lady yardmaster tasked with guiding our heroes even as her corporate bosses write them off as doomed collateral damage. Meanwhile, veteran character actor Kevin Corrigan also shows up in a supporting role to teach a master class in subtlety; the buffoonish duo of Ethan Suplee and T.J. Miller should have taken notes.

How Many Police Cars Flip Over On Their Own For No Reason: One, which demonstrates a shocking degree of restraint for a Tony Scott actioner. The film’s somewhat of a slow build, but once it reaches full steam there are plenty of fiery explosions, blazing sirens, frenetic news reports, car chases, trains playing chicken, near-disasters, sideswiped objects that blow up, obstacles and people and horses trapped in the path of the Evil Train, and marquee Hollywood stars leaping and running across moving train cars to keep our senses assaulted for 98 minutes.

The Actress-Slash-Former Mrs. Tom Cruise-Turned-Pro Poker Player Who Randomly Co-Produced Unstoppable And Partly Came Up With The Idea: Mimi Rogers, who we can also thank for converting then-husband Cruise to Scientology, thus keeping us entertained for many generations. Thanks a bunch, Mimi! Really. For everything.

Comments (30)

I don't think you 'get it'. See - there are people out there who occasionally want to just see a fun, crazy movie. No one marketed this as some great drama. So - r e l a x .

BillyBong - 11-12-2010 1:56 AM

Okay.. Seriously Jen?! I know it wasnt a amazing movie, but this does not deserve a 1 star.. Horrible review.

JohnB - 11-12-2010 2:23 AM

Haha! Soul Asylum, LOVE it! Still gonna watch this movie though, hell, I thought Taking of Pelham 123 was somewhat entertaining, which is weird cuz at the same time I know it sucked but what can I say... I'm a sucker!

VladimirVonYagenchov - 11-12-2010 11:54 AM

Jenn, I'm going to be honest with you. I absolutely hate all of your reviews. I enjoy the other guy most of the time, but you... just no.

Steven Bissell - 11-12-2010 3:58 PM

Just went to see 'Unstoppable' after reading your review. To quote Wolfgang Pauli out of context; you are not even wrong. How a 'critic' could be so far off I don't know. . .oh wait, I do know. Because you are much more concerned with the personalities of the people involved in making the movie than the movie itself! True, Mimi Rogers was a producer, but what does her marriage to Tom Cruise and Scientology have to do with the movie? Nothing, it's all to show how clever and 'inside-Hollywood' you are. Why don't you see if you can get a gig writing gossip columns and let movie goers alone?
This is one terrific action movie from beginning to end. So it's not Werner Herzog, but then neither is he from time to time. Ignore Yamato and go see i

MovieFan - 11-12-2010 11:08 PM

Does she have a clue? The movie was entertaining! I almost did not go to see it because of her review... I know now not to trust her reviews... she is 0 for 3 on the last movies I have seen.

Train Conductor - 11-13-2010 4:45 PM

trains are operated by engineers not conductors if your going to write a bad review atleast get the facts straight

T. Rivera - 11-13-2010 7:05 PM

This is absolutely a D+ movie. I love Denzel, but really! I saw all these great reviews,but honestly I was trying to keep from going to sleep. It was girls night out, and she paid which was a wonderful surprise. I should have stayed home and watch some reruns of The Golden Girls. It was boring and a waste of good movie....bla, bla, bla

Pat Leary - 11-13-2010 9:35 PM

Jen you're a typical obnoxious liberal from San Francisco.Hope they get rid of you.

Hello - 11-14-2010 1:42 AM

Just because of this review, I'm going to watch this movie, and prove to her why this deserves more then a 1. My niece could write a better review then this.

Skinwalker - 11-14-2010 10:55 AM

Hang in there, Jen. You were 100% right about this film. I am stunned by the number of people posting here who got any sort of satisfaction out of watching a large metal box move across some rails while people in a control room shouted, "Come on, Frank." I went to go see this because of some other reviews that told me it was going to be something better than it seemed - it had Denzel Washington in it for Christ sake. Well anyway, I hope he enjoys his new boat and I hope you continue to write your reviews. The rest of you are "the lowest common denominator" and the reason people like me have to sit through movies like this.

Moviersss - 11-14-2010 1:45 PM

Sorry to said this guy, but Jen is not a such good movie reviewer. A few movies i've seen was suppose to be deserved 4 stars but she only gave 1. Some moves turned our very good and Jen gave it a bad reivew...she tends to do that all the times.....

Monica - 11-14-2010 4:04 PM

I'm sure most would agree that Denzel's one of the most gifted thespians in history. He can act in Shakespear & do justice in an action packed film such as "Unstoppable." It was a good movie. The only way an individual may come out dissapointed is if you didn't see the previews. Most of us should gather what the movie's about...an action packed movie about a run away train. There were impressive explosives & even a few tender moments. I certainly wasn't thinking Denzel would break out with a "to be or not to be" sketch. Go see the movie people. Ladies we get eye candy & men get a highly intensified action movie. Escape from your reality & enjoy !

KgProphet - 11-14-2010 10:20 PM

I too side with Jen even after lowering my expectations for a Tony Scott film. I must declare that most other reviewers are allowing more stupidity to pass as movie-making these days. I insist on speaking out for audiences' brain cells everywhere, don't pay real money in a theatre for entertainment on the level of a bad TV movie.

bill - 11-14-2010 11:58 PM

Visit moviegameplan.com for your reviews if you dont like the reviews on this page

willie - 11-15-2010 7:08 PM

tons of action bla bla bla it was a boring movie few good parts. had 2 scenes of 777 in the same spot at different parts of the movie.

twaddington - 11-16-2010 11:40 AM

Excellent review. I'm glad someone else noticed Tony Scott's fetish for having cars randomly flip over.
This is a terrible movie, only a retard would be entertained by it.

Rob - 11-17-2010 6:38 PM

Horrible Horrible movie in most every way......The only thing that REALLY shocks me is that anyone else would think otherwise
Movie is horribly flawed and stupid

Movie Reviewer - 11-17-2010 6:48 PM

Jen is an Idiot. Horrible review.

vMan - 11-19-2010 12:25 PM

No way, this movie way off track. They set up a de-railer and park all the vehicles next to the derail point then walk away? WHAT! Brought women and children to watch from 100 yards as a train with toxic chemicals flies into gas storage tanks? WHAT! Helicopters that follow the train 30 feet off the ground? WHAT! I couldn't understand a single character in this flick. And almost everyone likes it.

Grace - 11-20-2010 4:02 PM

For those giving poor reviews, just remember this movie is based on true events. If you all are such intellects, maybe you should research the true story b'fore seeing the movie & thinking the events would change in some manner. I agree with you, Savory Dave. People just need to "chill." If you want to think so hard, go to the library on a Saturday vs the movies. Geez !

Igor - 11-21-2010 9:54 PM

This is by far the worst review I have ever read for any movie. In fact, it is so terrible that I am surprised how whoever wrote this actually is paid for it. I understand that when you see a movie, you have an OPINION on it, and some critics may give good movies bad reviews, however, this review was written at a 3rd rate, sensationalist level that can be expected from the New York Post. Is it the constant, off-topic speculation that makes this review bad, or the lack of restraint in terms of being subjective, you decide.

JimN - 11-23-2010 8:22 AM

Jen is the worst reviewer in the business. I agree with her on a few levels but to rate this as one star is rediculous. It's a definite popcorn movie with lots of action. If you don't like action movies then don't watch them. The only problem I had with the movie was the stupid cheesy ending with the wife just suddenly showing up like Barbara Eden in I dream of Jennie. Why do directors always try to end these movies with a apple pie ending. Where the hell is Clint Eastwood when you really need him. Just Damn!

Waverider1 - 11-23-2010 10:45 AM

Terrible review. This movie was exciting, visually impressive and the acting and plot wasn't bad at all. One star? This website needs a reviewer more in line with its patrons. Yamoto needs to find another job.

Vale - 11-26-2010 12:09 PM

Jen, my wife slept through the Inter-AC match and believe me there was nothing boring about it.
Maybe you should stick to reviewing chick-movies and leave action movies to those with some adrenaline.

aksel - 11-27-2010 7:17 PM

who made her the expert on movies my grandmas more qualified.

Bill Carey - 12-19-2010 4:17 PM

1 Star LOL Hope this review thing is just a hobby of yours and not something you plan on making a living from..

Sparrowsong - 1-19-2011 9:05 PM

I have a few things to say.
To All those who support Jen; that's good for you. Stand strong in what you think and we'll have our opinion as well. Skinwalker, no we're not you haven't the right idea.
To All who don't support Jen; good for you. I haven't been too impressed either.
To Jen; yes, you are a reviewer. But no offense, it's people like you who make me think that they pull you out of nowhere. But one star? Really? Do you know anything about this movie? Some of the effects were real. They let an actual train run through actual things. And as for the police cars, would you like someone to get hurt? I know I wouldn't.
But I don't think our opinions matter because when have we seen anyone with power/fame listen to us?
Let me kn

Psychosis - 4-02-2011 11:33 PM

I didn' even read this review because I'm sure whatever the reviewer said is probably what I think about this movie. I just saw it, and it was by far the worst Denzel movie I have ever seen. That accomplish much, since he is my favorite actor along with his movies. The movie had a lack of depth. I couldn't connect with the characters. The suspense scenes were resolved too soon, and the main characters weren't focused on enough during the beginning of the conflict. It's great that this was based on true events, but as a movie, I don't think it played out very well. I can usually keep my eyes open in a movie, and this movie was straining my eyes. Besides that, the movie had great visuals, special effects, and a great music score. Unfortunatel

RickyT - 8-27-2011 2:57 AM

It looks like Jen did get fired from this company. There are no reviews for her after Jan 14, 2011. This was a fun, pulse-ampin' action flick. Whoever would give it 1 star would indeed deserve to be canned.

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