Monday, May 30, 2011

In the wake of Ohio State coach Jim Tressel's quitting before he got fired resignation, we put a few of our favorite posts about the scandal in one convenient place for all your linkage needs.

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

The MZone

SCRIPT O-LIE-O!

TRESSELGATE DOUBLE FEATURE

And back for a special return engagement:

TRESSEL-I-AM

Two weeks ago - before Yahoo! Sports posted a story claiming that Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel knew about Buckeye players trading merchandise for free tattoos more than eight months before the school said it was made aware of the allegations - The Vest was photographed reading Dr. Seuss books to a group of school children in Ohio:

Well, in light of the recent allegations in C-bus, may we suggest the following for The Vest's next reading to the kids:

An excerpt:

We looked!Then we saw him step in on the mat!We looked!And we saw him!Terrelle and his tats!And he said to us,"Why do you sit there like that?I know it is wetAnd the sun is not sunny.But we can have lots of funLots of fun with booster money!"

"I know some good bars to go to,"Said the QB."We can drive in the new carThe new car dealer just loaned me!We will take the car, take the car out for a ride.My coachDoes not care, so I have nothing to hide!"

Then Sally and IDid not know what to say.But Terrelle said Coach TresselWould look the other way.

But our fish said, "No! No!Make Terrelle go away!Tell that Cat with the TatsYou do NOT want to play.He should not be here,He should be on probation!He should be suspendedWith the rest of Buckeye Nation!"

"Now! Now! Have no fear.Have no fear!" said the QB"I won't get caughtSince my coach just ignores me.Why, we can haveLots of fun doing my thingWith a game that I callSelling my championship ring!"

An excerpt:

I do not like the game's laws and its rulesI do not like them, they're only for foolsI did not like them during the days of ClarettI do not like them nor have been busted just yetI let Terrelle Pryor get his free tatsThen claimed, "Oh, I did not know about that!"I do not like the rules they have about classThe N-C-A-A can kiss my Vest-wearing assI do not like the rules out on the fieldAnd if we get busted, I'll surely appealI do not like the rules here in the 'ShoeAnd our fans do not care as long as I beat the BlueI do not like rules here or thereI do not like them ANYWHERE!

In the MZone exclusive below, we have obtained a copy of the heavily edited rough draft of the last "Conclusion" paragraph of that letter. As you'll discover, significant changes were made before it was submitted.

The institution was wondering when the other shoe was gonna fall regarding the charade that is Cheaty McSweaterVest. How the hell it took this long is beyond us is very surprised and disappointed in Coach Tressel's lack of action in this matter. His behavior in this situation is par for the course out of character from him and is contrary to his proven history of saying one thing in those bullshit self-righteous books he pawns while doing another behind the scenes of promoting an atmosphere of NCAA compliance within the football program. Since this shit has been going on ever since his hiring as the head football coach in 2001 (i.e. Maurice Clarett, Troy Smith, etc.), he and his staff have ignored attended the NCAA rules education sessions on a consistent basis, regularly made up sought interpretations, and self-reported an almost laughably huge fuckload of nearly 400 secondary violations. His lack of truthfulness action in this matter appears to have been the result of thinking he was above the rules and wouldn't get caught as usualindecisiveness regarding the appropriate actions to take in this specific situation in which he was placed if you can even begin to wrap your head around what a huge set of stones it took to even try to pass that nonsense off as a plausible excuse, as opposed to a blatant disregard of NCAA legislation stretching back to his Youngstown State days. Nevertheless, we recognize that because he wins a lot of games and beats Michigan, we look the other way when we can and offer the insulting slap on the wrist punishment in this letter now that he should have forwarded this information in some manner to appropriate institutional officials. With the exception of this mistake that you know about, he is a man of integrity and high moral standards if you set the bar somewhere between, say, Pete Carroll and the SMU program during the Eric Dickerson years.

This institution really hopes you'll buy the ginormous load of horse shit in this letter in the same way you shockingly believed the whole 'Cam Newton didn't know' steaming pile appreciates the cooperation of your staff in this inquiry.

6 comments:

Just to put this in perspective for those of you who have never spent time in Columbus (including Whets), the local CBS affiliate is pre empting network programming from 8 until 9 to air a one hour special "Tressel Resigns" featuring analysis by the experts & commentary by former players.

Follow the MZone

Subscribe To

The MZone-slash-MichiganZone.net-slash-MichiganZone.blogspot.com is in no way affiliated with the University of Michigan and/or U-M football in any way. If you thought it was, frankly I'm surprised you know how to use a computer.