SCREAM QUEENS: 01×07, BEWARE OF YOUNG GIRLS

After a week of no Scream Queens, I’ve been jonzing for the next episode for more bouts of horror-comedy, and this episode was a great way to dive back in. This week begins with Chanel throwing a funeral for #2 (her parents went on vacation to celebrate her demise) and fulfill her wish of being cremated and sent into space. She lays in a pink open casket with designer glasses and fur, when Chanel begins her eulogy with, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today because a backstabbing little bitch got exactly what was coming to her.” Chanel also warns the room that this is what is to be expected of people who cross the queen of mean, and especially those who sleep with her boyfriend. The other Chanels later find their leader self indulging in cookies and expressing her distrust in her squad of minions for repeatedly making attempts to de-throne the original. In an attempt to prove the Chanel’s loyalty (both living and dead) they decide to use a Ouija board to communicate with #2. When Chanel states that it looks evil, #5 tries to downplay the appearance and responds by describing the board in a different outlook. “It has two dancing demons, a dead old lady, and cute little pentagrams!” #3 explains the typical rules to a Ouija board, and the pretentious séance commences! Before any real questions can be asked, the board spells out “Chad is cheating on you” and an enraged Chanel breaks it up in disbelief and needing answers as soon as possible.

While cooking dinner for herself and Wes, Gigi receives a mysterious phone call from an accomplice and subtle hints about their relationship surface, including – she “loves” this person, insists this killer’s attachment to a specific man is becoming a problem, and that she has taken a leadership role over multiple others involved. Later Grace and Gigi take a shopping trip with Grace insulting her 90’s inspired fashion sense. Not exactly in a place to judge one’s style Grace, I’m just saying… In the middle of over conversations, Gigi sneaks in a bit of information to cause suspicion around Dean Munsch over a girl named Feather McCarthy – insisting it could be interesting for her and Pete’s journalistic pursuit of truth. The two locate Feather to pry, and the oddball with a pixie cut shares that she fell in love with Munsch’s husband who was a Beatles 101 professor at the University. Where is this class when I need it? He is shown to play her his own cover songs and swoons the young girl, beginning a passionate love affair. Eventually, he went to his wife with the truth, and her reaction left Feather knowing she would become her new target. She helped her professor/boyfriend by bringing him to Kappa house, but was followed by Munsch who was always seen replicating her wardrobe and lurking in every corner. Feather also says that Munsch “pulled strings” and had her removed from the school, but she eventually she still moved in with Stephen (the professor). At one point, a transistor radio was pushed into the tub Feather was in, almost killing her – the exact same method that killed a former dean.

After Feather leaves, she returns to her boyfriend’s home with his Metamucil (fitting) and calls out asking if he has “spilled ketchup in the shape of an arrow on the floor?” Feather then sees blood trails with severed body parts guiding her to a room. She follows the crime scene to a fish tank and unfortunately for Feather, she finds his head floating inside. Feather and Stephen clearly weren’t destined for a happy ending. In fear of #2’s warning, Chanel storms Chad’s room and discovers him in bed with a goat – yes a goat. Chanel’s first impulse is that he must have cheated with a farm animal, but the truth is that Mr. Radwell is lactose intolerant. Clearly the goat is his source for milk (of course, right?) Chad them warns Chanel that she should never trust dead folks because they are just “pissed off” about being dead. Dean Munsch meets with the officer she’s been sleeping with, and he seems evade her usual flirtatious tactics initially. He finally admits that he was informed her former husband was murdered, (Munsch shares that she had hoped it would be Feather as well) and she is the prime suspect – she also has physical markings that indicate a recent struggle. The detective tells her she’s under arrest, and she tries to play it off as role-play, but Munsch is placed in a straight jacket and arrested for the murder of her husband, and is believed to be the Red Devil.

Grace and Pete continue to do their own investigation, and create a board of suspects that pins Munsch as the only possible killer at every crime scene so far. Pete pushes that she has clear motive, and shows Grace his headline “Cops Finger Dean Munsch” writing it off as a (mostly) solved crime. Fairly suspicious Pete… Grace then receives an unexpected phone call from Dean Munsch at a mental hospital, asking to meet with the two. The next day Grace and Pete go to the facility to speak with Munsch, and find her “designing formal wear” with child-like drawings. She tells them she loves her new residency and shares her love of medication. Munsch informs the couple of her reasoning for bringing them was that she knew both are truth seekers, and she believes Feather is behind the murder. When Grace attempts to get information to benefit her needs, Munsch shoots back, “Well ok – you wanna play quid pro quo Clarice? Then you run along and look into Feather for me, and when you bring back the dirt on her – then I’ll tell you about the baby.” The two begin to leave as Munsch yells at an orderly for her allergies to deli-meats, and they are stopped by a woman who has somehow painted an extremely artistic depiction of Grace and Pete, only managing to say “I paint them all.” Has she seen something already? Or will one of her paintings have more answers in the future? Honestly, this show has me randomly speculating on a regular basis. The two journalists examine crime scene statements and find that a sandwich was eaten at the scene (consisting of bologna) something Dean Munsch couldn’t have done from her supposed food allergies. They come up with a plan to compare the DNA on the sandwich to Feather’s toothbrush for a better idea of if she could have actually committed the gruesome crime.

Another séance with #2 begins, and Chanel yells at the departed for her lies about Chad. They ask questions to confirm her identity like how many tampons Hester had in her purse (9), what cereal #3 choked on, and who is the killer…which she claims is Chanel. “Have fun in Hell going to dinner with Osama Bin Laden” Chanel says before exiting the room. The other Chanels gather and decide that OG Chanel can’t be trusted, and that they will need to murder her themselves. Next is the discussion of just how they plan on murdering Chanel with a few unsuccessful ideas like poisonous bras, and a “sugar party” but subsisting crushed diamonds in place of sugar (my personal favorite obviously.) Chanel disrupts the conversation while searching for Prunex, and they get a new idea to kill her when she passes out from her laxatives. Soon after, Chanel is awoken by #2 (visiting her from hell) who introduces herself as if she could have forgotten. Yet another reason she was taken too soon… She says that she has come back to apologize (a requirement to go to heaven) and describes Hell as a place with water slides lined with razor blades, and her job is to pick food from Uday and Qusay Hussein’s beards with her teeth. #2 admits that she always wanted what she had, and her reasons behind the Ouija board messages were because she was upset that “Adolf Hitler was motor boating her boobs.” The two have a sweet and very unexpected reconciliation, and #2 decides to tell her that the other Chanels will soon return with a bowling ball to murder her – but that Chanel needs to take the high road and be the leader that the Kappas clearly need.

Pete and Grace break into Stephen’s home, (literally, they break the glass. Pete is 2-2 when it comes to ineffectively sneaking into premises) and find evidence that links Feather to the killer. The detective now assumes she’s behind the Red Devil murders as well, and have her arrested with Munsch being released. Munsch tells Grace, Pete, and the detective that she agrees with the theory from her bologna obsession. Munsch tries to leave, but Grace pushes for answers about the 1995 baby as promised, and she says that she’ll tell her more in a week which understandably irritates Grace – although they should have perhaps been more cautious of Munsch’s agenda. Chanel gathers the other Chanels and confronts them for their murder plot, and scoffs at their inability to even do that right. She tells the girls that they need her, and she is willing to forget about the semi-attempted murder moving forward. Chanel then gives the girls identical pink Nancy Drew-esque hats and magnifying glasses so they can solve the murders on their own, because Chanel doesn’t believe for a second that Feather could be the Red Devil. Just who does Chanel tell her minions that she believes the killers are? That would be Zayday and Grace, who entered when the murders began.

At Dean Munsch’s home, she puts a record on and pours a glass of wine before dancing around her home with a seemingly beaming attitude. It is revealed that Munsch is joyous for pinning a crime on Feather that she didn’t commit. Munsch’s inner monologue details her killing her former husband for his betrayal, and pinned it on Feather (his mistress) to ruin her life in an act of revenge. We see Feather locked in a containment cell screaming and crying at the top of her lungs that she loved him and could never have done it. Seeing poor naive Feather (yes she is new) in emotional distress was a very sad conclusion to her new storyline, but needed to prove how twisted Dean Munsch can be in a strong final few moments that leaves you once again wanting more Scream Queens!

Overall Grade: After a week of no Scream Queens, I was pleasantly reminded how enjoyable the series actually is. From beginning to end there is material that will make you laugh, speculate, and just submerge yourself into the series for its runtime. With the hilarious return of #2, an enjoyably quirky new side character, and a better look at Munsch’s state of mind, Scream Queens continues it’s streak of success with another ‘A’

Aedan’s Final Thoughts:

-#2 brought hilarity once again, her conversation with Chanel about Hell was easily one of the most entertaining scenes so far.

-I surprisingly felt attached to Feather and hope to see more of the misguided young girl before the season ends, unless it involves her death of course.

-Munsch showed a multitude of qualities this episode that hadn’t previously been shown, and it gave her a chance to feel more fleshed out.

-I still love the Chanel squad! As many enjoyable characters that are in Scream Queens, I really would like to see them survive into next season.

-Chad and Pete are major suspects at this moment in time. Both have done things that caused me to question their legitimacy, and I wouldn’t be shocked if either (or both) were part of the ongoing murder scheme.