"YES....Well.... Iâm VERY mindful of my position and possible potential pernicious influence over the public. The PUBLIC, who are like vacant sponges waiting to soak up whatever moral/ethical imprints and impressions I might âput out thereââ¦

These days, one has to be so carefulâ¦

....And....Yes.., thanks for reminding me, I DO Remember when I was caught with those hookers?....

.....That's all behind me now. And i've grown emotionally too...I've found God and I've even learnt to forgive the hookers.....

.....LOOK I'm A Proffesional Childrens' Television Presenter. Right. That's WHAT I AM. â¦I can't help it. It's in the BLOOD

I WOULD DEARLY LOVE TO GO ON A THREE DAY BENDER WITH skanks whores pushers gypsies tramps and thieves AND SNORT LINES OF COKE OFF THEIR BARED BREASTS AND FREEBASE UP THEIR ASSHOLESâ¦. BUT I WILL NOT Because Iâm acutely aware of my public position. And subsequently I WOULD NEVER do that kind of thing, AS I UNDERSTAND, ITâS MY DUTY TO PROTECT THE MASSES FROM THAT KIND OF repellent BEHAVIOUR.....

.....Sometimes I wish I was less well known and less moral, then I could drug myself up shove a raw King Edward potato up my Dartford Tunnel and masturbate into a firemanâs helmet 'til the cows come home. Or whatever it is that gets people off in this day-and-age.... Perhaps ingest a bit of half-cooked bacon on some fishing wire and yank out just at the moment of climactic fruitition? combining the jerky spasms of warm ejaculant with the involuntary boke-up-chuck puke mechanism resulting in a double dose of heady hedonismâ¦What about a jar of chunky peanut butter warmed up in the microwave spread over the testis and let the dog lick it ALL off. Inserting a tampon in the anus? Cleaning out the Jap's eye with a cotton wool bud and some contact lens fluid?

No. Iâve consciously denied myself all these basic âcoming of ageâ normal everyday sexual pleasures because I have an acute sense of responsibility. I DO SO wish more celebs would show the same moral fibre but alas we live in decadent times"..