83

69

84.0

83.3

83.1

.548

.568

0.3%

66.8%

67.1%

9.8%

-18.9%

Yu Darvish decided to challenge the Rangers. "If I pitch badly," he thought, "they'll feel guilty and they'll have to score some runs!" Tune in tomorrow for a very special episode to see if it worked and to learn some life lessons you'll immediately forget.

88

65

83.1

88.0

85.8

.564

.544

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

90

62

91.1

89.9

86.4

.588

.568

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

When told about the Dodgers playoff-clinching celebration in Arizona, the Braves clutched their pearls and well-I-never’d off to the parlor room to recuperate.

17

93

61

95.3

95.4

94.4

.614

.633

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Things as likely as John Lackey pitching the Red Sox into the playoffs: Crystal Pepsi II!, anything involving Steve Guttenberg, curried beef blowpops (“These really do blow!”) and you getting to this part of the comment.

18

89

64

94.0

101.1

100.1

.628

.646

99.9%

0.1%

100.0%

0.0%

0.1%

Prince Fielder had one RBI, two runs scored, three hits, four at-bats, five total bases, and, presumably, six of someone else's nachos during the game.

19

70

84

73.2

72.7

69.6

.463

.444

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The starter didn’t get out of the fourth and the game went 15 innings so they had to use 10 pitchers! Stupid Cardinals!

20

64

89

69.5

72.6

72.9

.456

.436

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Every time I see Anthony Rizzo he's doing something good which must mean that six out of seven days he's utterly terrible.

21

51

102

55.8

50.7

53.4

.345

.363

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Astros pitchers have walked 592 hitters this season, the most in baseball and yet Houston is one of the most overweight cities in the country. Conspiracy? You betcha!

22

60

92

64.0

63.0

62.8

.411

.430

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

'The Cubs have more wins than the White Sox' is probably not a thing that either will put in this season's Christmas letter..

23

77

75

76.4

73.9

74.1

.496

.476

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

The Diamondbacks are the guy giving mean glances to the guy at the 7-Eleven who just fist pumped after winning a scratch-off ticket with his scratch-off ticket.

24

74

78

76.5

77.8

76.6

.501

.521

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Looks like it's not going to happen for the Angels this season. If only they'd grown comical facial hair...

25

89

64

93.8

86.5

86.4

.581

.561

64.9%

35.1%

100.0%

-0.0%

0.0%

The starter didn’t get out of the fourth and the game went 15 innings so they had to use 10 pitchers! Stupid Rockies!

26

87

66

89.4

89.9

89.9

.582

.562

16.7%

82.4%

99.1%

-0.2%

1.1%

Joey Votto's 10 year, $225 million contract starts next season so you can probably take a year off from sending him a gift come holiday time.

27

80

72

81.2

74.7

75.9

.513

.533

0.0%

4.0%

4.0%

-0.4%

-0.6%

James Shields leads baseball in quality starts with 25, which is 25 more than Wil Myers has.

28

80

73

74.3

66.4

68.2

.472

.492

0.0%

1.0%

1.0%

-2.4%

-15.7%

Joba Chamberlain’s night: walk, single, homer, exeunt!

29

81

71

80.9

78.0

79.1

.525

.545

0.0%

9.0%

9.0%

-4.8%

5.2%

Adam Jones' homer was it for the O's offense. There's an argument that it went so far it should've counted twice, but Baltimore lost by 3-1 so

30

83

69

79.8

88.4

88.9

.559

.579

0.0%

70.0%

70.0%

-8.7%

3.3%

A stupid argument for leaving the starter in no matter what: The Rays are 6-2 when their starter throws a complete game and less than that when he doesn’t.

I looked it up last night to see if I was using it correctly and Google gives this for the definition: "used as a stage direction in a printed play to indicate that a group of characters leave the stage."