Monday, February 16, 2009

Our Little Girl Laughs

Okay, let's get the negative stuff out of the way first. Stanzi seems to have a good bit of congestion in her chest. You can hear it rattling around; it makes you think of those Mucinex commercials with the dancing mucus. And it looks as though she took a pretty serious faceplant not long before we got her--she has some tiny bruises around the bridge of her nose, and a nasty-looking bump on her forehead. But everyone's telling us we shouldn't worry about either of these; neither is unusual in children coming out of orphanages.

On the flight over I was reading a book about parenting internationally adopted children, and I have to admit that it had me sort of worried. It was full of horror stories about the kids not bonding with their parents--wailing constantly or simply shutting down emotionally. But so far she seems to be bonding well, at least with Monica. My job at this point is pretty much Mommy's assistant--mixing formula, fetching things, providing the occasional distraction, etc. Generally speaking when I try to hold her she cries for her mother. But that's to be expected, I suppose. In the orphanage the only men she probably ever encountered were poking and prodding her, or sticking needles into her. It's actually a wonder she can even look at me without having a meltdown.

During our first few hours together she was very quiet. We had a few screamers in our group, but she wasn't one of them, although it was clear that she was very aware of what was going on around her. We coaxed a few smiles out of her, but none that lasted very long. On the few occasions that she did cry (like during her first bath, which she desperately needed after we got her out of her stinky orphanage clothes) it came as something of a relief. For the most part she just looked annoyed.

That gets us to the video. This was taken at around 7:30 last night. Monica and I ordered room service (ridiculously cheap, by the way--we each got an entree and a Tsingtao for a total of around $25 US). By this time we were starting to relax a bit about the whole parenting thing (the Tsingtao helped), and we decided to test Stanzi's tolerance for solid food. Let's just say she's not picky. Even after a bottle of formula she eagerly took everything we offered her by hand--rice, bits of fried egg, Goldfish crackers. And then she broke out in this enormous grin. And she started to laugh, which made us laugh, too.

A couple more things:

1) You're probably wondering where all the photos are. Well, I've taken tons of them, but until I can borrow a cable from one of the other couples in the group (and that should happen today, I hope) I have no way of dumping them onto the computer.

2) I should mention something about our first night with her. She woke us up crying at 10:00 last night and 4:00 this morning, but settled down right away after Monica picked her up. My guess is that she suddenly woke up in an unfamiliar place and got frightened. I also suspect she was testing us. Her cries at the orphanage wouldn't have gotten her the attention she craves, so she wanted to see if they'd work here. They did, of course. And then, at some point in the middle of the night, she just started babbling. She may not have even been awake; since they were happy sounds we stayed in bed. It was some of the most beautiful music we have ever heard.

I'm so relieved your first night is over with!!! The first night is always the WORST, you never sleep, worrying about what might happen while you're not being constantly vigilant. She sounds like a dream - not crying much, laughing and babbling. And we all laughed when we read about the bruises, how they're not uncommon in babies from an orphanage. They were not (and still are not!) uncommon in babies who've always lived with two parents too! Remember, we've already had 3 broken arms, 2 sets of stitches in the lip, 1 staple in the head, and more trips to the emergency room than I care to remember.