I know this because there was a man caught eating another man’s face and because I’ve been one for the past two days now. Well almost, I don’t have the whole eating humans’ thing down yet. That not drinking like it’s my last day on this planet thing didn’t work out so well, again. I did however make it to work on Sunday and this morning. Maybe I was putting too much emphasis on the wrong sylLAble. I should’ve focused more on the going to work part. The next time I’m in this scenario, which will be at the end of this month, I will aim for making it to work alive the next day versus trying to act my age because that has backfired twice now.

In other news I met JENNY FREAKING LAWSON, aka The Bloggess! I’m kind of a big deal now, in my own mind, mostly. She was hilarious, sweet, panicky (her words) and everything I expected her to be. I was shaking, then I was crying, and I don’t even know why. I think when my mind is freaking out it just resorts to crying, which makes it really awkward for me, so stop it mind! Truly though, she was great. I am so inspired by her, because besides being exceptionally hilarious, she is human, and has had human experiences. If she can make it through everything in her life with a smile on her face then so can I. WWJD, that stands for Jenny not Jesus, because I know what Jenny would do, I’m not so sure what Jesus would do.

This qualifies as automatic VIP status in the Unicorn Success Club

Also does anyone remember what today is? Probably not, because I never disclosed that information but I’ll let Nemo help me, help you, remember something I never told you. It’s Monday none of this going to make sense.