Learn How to Avoid Inconsistent Parenting With Portland Relationship Counseling

Many of my Portland relationship counseling couples know firsthand how difficult it is to be good parents while maintaining a healthy relationship. You want to give them everything, but also make sure that they have good values and aren’t spoiled. You want to keep them safe, but you also want to make sure that you aren’t sheltering them so much that they can’t function as adults. And, of course, you want to make sure that you’re doing enough in your relationship to keep it happy and healthy – both for the well-being of your children, and for you and your partner.

One area that causes friction both with your children and in your relationship is inconsistent parenting. You know what I’m talking about. Mom will say no to getting ice cream on the way home, but when junior pleads with Dad, he says yes. Or Dad will forbid your daughter from going out, but Mom will cave when her little girl comes crying to her. If I could give any marriage advice that also doubles as parenting advice, it would be to avoid inconsistencies like these like the plague.

Of course, we all know that’s easier said than done. What about when your angelic boy or girl catches you off-guard and you don’t know your spouse has already said no? Or what their response would be? Or you simply agree without thinking because you’re tired or distracted. Well, my marriage advice can’t solve every problem, but it can help you to deal with many of these situations.

Set up general rules. While you’re not going to cover every scenario (not even close!), it’s important that you sit down with your partner and come to an agreement on the big issues in your child’s life, and as many of the smaller ones as you can think about. When in doubt, remember the things on this list!

Reserve the right to think about it. One of the easiest ways to avoid inconsistent parenting is not to give your child an answer without speaking to your partner. Tell them you have to think about it or that you have to talk about it with their mother or father. If they push the matter, tell them that’s the way to get a definite no.

Talk to each other. Hopefully this is obvious, but the flip side of the above method is to always tell your partner when you’ve made an executive decision. If both of you try to follow both of these methods, it will cut down on many issues.