Happy T-Day, THC-heads, and welcome back for another edition of our lovely Turkey Award.

THC’s Turkey Award Winners can take pride in their ability to look like humans on the outside, but to actually be as smart and competent as turkeys on the inside.

In a major departure from previous years, we’ve decided that two figures are turkey enough to warrant a joint award. Also different from previous years, 2017’s recipients are not worthy of being the head of a turkey – so we’ve come up with a creative new method.

We present to you THC’s 2017 Two-Assed Turkey Award:

Lisa Rossbacher is the President of Humboldt State University. You might have heard about her. Ms. Rossbacher gets special turkey-ass recognition for her expertise in gutting the HSU football program due to “severe lack of funding”. (P.s. did you know that Lisa Rossbacher’s salary and benefits for one year are just shy of the $500,000 needed annually to save the football program?) More on the financial mess at HSU this weekend.

Our second, and equally turkey-ass-ish, recipient, is John Ford of the Humboldt County Planning Department. John proudly proclaimed that Humboldt County would totally take care of the fiasco surrounding cannabis permitting by the end of this year – and that’s so laughably far from the truth that we can’t even make a better joke about it. How many permits have been issued? How many more people has the County hired, or contracted with, in order to process permits? How effective have all the fees taken from people who still don’t have permits been in combating illegal grows and environmental destruction?

Congrats, you turkeys, and may the public pardon you for turkey ways. Enjoy getting fatter with your salaries and pensions, and we hope you don’t end up on the platter again next year.