Rimbaud810's Journal, 31 July 2011

Gained 2 pounds this week. I'm so ticked. I slacked off slightly on exercise. My friend again went on vacation. So I thought I could just walk the dog. It's not enough. Plus, my sister brought my nephew over and I was with him. He's only five weeks old so all I do is hold him and change him. Damn. I also went out with friends. The glaze on my salmon must have had sugar in it. Must I be miserable every time I go out to eat? I didn't order an alcoholic drink, just water. Last night I made tacos. I had low carb shells. I've been doing the raw egg shakes but they have been making me sick. Or maybe it was all these pills from gnc. I stopped both and gain weight! Also, I tested my urine and no ketosis. Did I lose my passion this week? What did I do to slack off? I also felt tired and sluggish this past week. I think I'm going to have to go down to 15 net carbs a day. That trainer at the gym told me I was exercising too much. I slow down and gain weight. Those are the facts.

I'm so mad though. Compared to what I used to eat-I'm eating nothing. I used to eat a big bagel with cheese and salsa. I dumped a ton of sweetened creamer into my coffee. Then, I'd eat a frozen pizza and candy. For dinner, bread, pasta, meatballs, and dessert. While watching tv, I'd hog down popcorn and guzzle five or six ginger ales.

How can I not lose when I am eating so much less? At 227, I'm still so big. I am down from a 22 to an 18. I still can't shop at a "normal" store. I feel more energetic today. It's the rage I feel that fuels me. Why do I have to work so hard for so little? Other people think I am crazy. Just go on weight watchers, they say. Yeah right, all I eat on that are carbs. Hungry all the time. Going on the treadmill. I'm going to do some jogging!