Introspection and Beyond

Welcome to Truthoughts: Introspection and Beyond!

This is a site dedicated to Christian studies of various subjects, which include: End Time Prophecy, Apostasy, Ministry, Missions and Current Events. You may notice that there are some other random topics here as well. This is because this was my first site and at the beginning, I wasn’t sure if it would be a personal site or otherwise… it turned out to be otherwise, therefore, I created other sites for my more personal entries. You can see those sites, which are listed below. Thank you for stopping by and I hope to hear from you. If there is anything that you would like for me to research, please feel free to leave a comment and I will do my best to cover it. Thanks again and God bless!
Sincerely In Christ,
Alison

You're Not The Only One

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This will be a quick post just to give an update. I have been away for a while due to my computer crashing but now have gotten a new one. Well, it is a much smaller one called a netbook as opposed to a notebook. Anyway, it scrunches everything up quite a bit but it […]

It is an amazing thing how when you feel as though you are in a dark room… so dark that you cannot see your hand in front of your face, when you thought there was a door but as soon as you checked the door was nowhere to be found. Then, all of a sudden, […]

As some of you are aware… my family has been going through very deep and dark valleys lately as many others are. This time in our lives are a testament to God’s faithfulness, even when we feel as though He is nowhere to be seen or even felt at times. He is still there. There […]

As I write this, my thoughts wonder to our beloved friend who we will greatly miss named Keani. Keani was our family kitty whom I have had for over 9 years. She passed away early on Sunday, July 5, 2009. She was gone before we woke. It has taken all this time for me to […]

Now, as I write this… my long time friend’s mother is being taken off of life support. My emotions are running the gammot during this time, so I thought I would write about it. My friend, lets call her “H”, and I have known each other for about 13 years. I spent so much time […]

Yesterday, while I was cleaning our formal dinning table… I had to walk between the table and our china hutch. Well, the space between the two is a little tight and I ended up ramming my right pinky toe into the corner of the china hutch. This then caused my toe to move outward and […]

During the last week or so, I have been struggling a bit regarding my time here… not here on this site, I mean here on this planet. See, recently my husband and I have been given an opportunity to work together in a new business. This couldn’t come at a better time, however, it has […]

I have had a hard time today and lately at different times. As many of you know from reading my “About Me” page, I have lost 5 babies. Well, it is difficult during the holidays. Also, I watched a movie tonight that had a young couple loose their baby right after it was born. It […]

I have been feeling a bit strange lately. I haven’t been sure if it was me having panic attacks or something else. It would make sense if it were, however, when it comes upon me… I am not particularly feeling “panic” like. Could it be a subconscious panic attack? Is that something that is possible? […]

So, I’ve been a busy little bee lately. I have been working with my husband and a good friend of ours to launch a new company… and boy does it take a lot of work. Don’t get me wrong… I am loving every minute of it! Everything is so new and exciting, I just love […]

Well, long time no type! LOL… I have been very busy lately and haven’t had much time to type out a blog post. I always feel like it has to be “just so long” to make it a post, so I guess that has discouraged me a bit from taking the time to post. Anyway, […]

For this birthday, I almost ended up in the hospital… As you can see by the pictures below, it left a lasting impression! My birthday was on August 13th and I had a decent day thanks to my husband. The incident which brought on the pics below happened a couple days before it though… Bradley and I […]

This is a must see video which was created by my husband. I hope that this video brings you much enjoyment and brightens your day. It is amazing how images so preacious can melt your heart and bring a smile to your face. Well, as many of you may have read in my previous posts… […]

Click here for Part I. Part I tells the prestory of Mieshka coming to our home and her pregnancy. It took me a while to be able to post that story because I was having numerous problems with uploading pictures. So, to update you, she has had her babies! Mieshka had her babies on July […]

It has been awhile since my last post, so today I thought that I would write about our new kitty. B and I were out one day and when we came home, there was a young kitty in our bushes. This little kitty was a girl and she was so sweet. She looked like she […]

Click Here for the Video I just wanted to share this video that I found through Stumbleupon that is really great and inspiring. The dept of love this man has for his son is beyond words. The caption for the video on the site is, “Incredible video about the relationship between a father and son…. […]

If you have the ability to listen to this video, please do as you read because it will enhance your reading experience. This was the song that I listened to throughout my grieving period and it was comforting. Part I As I stated in my previous post, this ended up being one of the most […]

If you have the ability to listen to this video, please do as you read because it will enhance your reading experience. This was the song that I listened to throughout my grieving period and it was comforting. Today I am going to write about the death of my dad. I have previously shared some […]

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Posts Tagged ‘Testimony’

When I was young, as a child, till I was 16 years of age I received Him, Jesus, as my Savior. (I’m not a Muslim; I came from a Christian family)I joined the choir at church only for 2 years, and then I got married at 19 years old.

I was married to an unbeliever (a Muslim) and from that time he forbade me to go to church. I knew my marriage was wrong. I just didn’t know how to end it but Jesus found me.

One day I was in the delivery room, when the baby was about to come out, I screamed, “JESUS help me,” and he heard it from outside the door and was so furious and curse me for calling JESUS name. That I never forgot. My husband heard it and was very furious. Then we, my husband and I were separated for 2 months. I went to my sister with 7 kids to Jakarta, (another island). Within a month, I got a job at a foreign company (Norwegian). At that time, I knew for sure GOD brought me out of the pit.

In the 3rd month he came after me, but we, the family and I, refused him. My kids were Muslim at that time, but deep down in my heart when I delivered my babies I always called Jesus’ name. After 5 years of working, one by one, the Lord started working in them, my children. I didn’t pray for it ’cause I myself did not search the LORD. The kids started knowing the Lord through their friends. As a Christian I always reminded my children to pray for their father. They have no communication with him. We still have problems here and there, but we all have faith to the LORD, the thing is, we have such a peace that we know it’s from GOD.

So all 6 are believers now and only one is married already, she is still a Muslim.

I now live with my daughter, she works at the Hospital, but she has been a Pastor since we were in Indonesia where I now live with them though I am a US citizen. I’ve been here for 14 years already. I’m helping my daughter take care of her kids. She is an Indonesian pastor here, helping the senior Pastor. I don’t know how you can make a testimony out of this but I’m really blessed, I mean I can feel Jesus always so, so close to me.

My 2nd daughter, she’s the one that is still a Muslim, her adult daughter once asked me about Jesus. She said they were talking with friends saying that in their book (the Koran) it says that after the tribulation, Jesus will rule and judge the people. So I asked her why Jesus (the Muslims say Nabi Isa) Isa refers to Jesus…Why not Moses or David (in their Koran they have them too), her answer was, “I don’t know”, so I told her that JESUS is LORD but still she refused…

My other daughter, the one that is a Pastor here, she was a Muslim and prayed 5 times a day but when her younger brother got to know the Lord through friends (not me) she got a vision, let’s say a dream. She was walking through the dessert and the family of her father was chasing her. Suddenly, she saw a building in front of her, It was a church and she threw herself inside the church. In the morning, she told me about her vision. From that time she made a good choice. After she graduated, she went to Bible College for 4 years and after working as a young pastor in Indonesia, she got an immigrant invitation from the US embassy in 1990. (I came here 1996)

My Muslim daughter, I love her very much, she is facing a divorce right now. I still pray for her. One of my sons, in year 1994 was in trouble, he was on drugs. I was very frustrated at that time. He gave me a lot of problems.

My daughter invited me to come, so from that time I stayed here. In 2007, my son got married and after he was married 3 months, he passed away. He got in a motorcycle accident.

Now I feel so much peace Alison, I know the peace is from GOD, I keep chasing Him. I’m a stay at home mom, just with my 3 year old grandson. The other 2 play music at the Rock Church, they are talented. I Thank the Lord I can feel He is always close to me.

(*From a copy post*)
Thursday, July 23, 2009 at 11:47am recorded last week.

Praise the Lord,

Today, I’m going to share with all of you of how the Lord changed my life. Ever since I was a little girl I believed in God. I used to hear my grandparents saying the Lord’s Prayer every night before they went to sleep. We would go to church with them every Sunday or attend Sunday school. However, I didn’t really know the meaning of really walking with the Lord. My upbringing was good; we had love and kindness in our home. But then again we all have choices to make and lives to live.

As I got older, I became stubborn and wanted to do things my way. I tried drinking alcohol when I was about 16 years old. I sure hated the taste. Alcohol lingered in my life until I was about 19 years old. I really didn’t like drinking, so I dropped it! Simple as that, I thought, I can have fun with my friends without it. However, I still felt that something was missing. I was not really happy.

Years went by, I got married, had three children. My life was not turning out the way I wanted it. I can’t share everything that took place with me, but I can tell you, my life was hell. I survived the most vile, abusive, tormenting life a human being can endure. There had to be God looking out for me because if not I would not be here today. Thank you, Lord, for your love and forgiveness. I have a very tender heart and I love all people. I am not perfect, and the Lord helps me each day, He corrects me if I get out of line. It is a narrow walk, it is a wonderful walk.

Anyways, I picked today July 23, 2009 to share this with all of you because 14 years ago I suffered a dark horrible depression. I was sick for two years. It was very tormenting, like living under a black cloud. All of my happiness, laughter, strength evaporated from my being. I cried all the time. My children were younger, and I couldn’t even look after them right. My parents helped me a lot. Thank you Lord for Christian parents! I felt so alone, I was extremely sad all the time. I prayed a lot for the Lord to restore my health and happiness. Still, I felt so isolated from everyone and everything! Panic and anxiety attacks were constantly there.

I remember one winter day, January 1996 I became very angry and fed up. I was staying at my parents place, and started smashing up the bedroom. I just wanted to die. I was suicidal, my plan was to drive somewhere, let my car run and kill myself. My love for my family and faith in God kept me. I ended up going to the Crisis Unit for a few days. I came home, but the dark cloud was still there. My parents prayed for me. I prayed. I became closer with the Lord. I reached out and He was there with me. Even in the darkest times, God was there, holding my hand, renewing my spirit and soul!

Again, even after all that I had been through I went to church, but never really committed my life to the Lord. He blessed me with so much! I had my family, my health was restored. I was blessed with a nice home and full time job. What more could a person be blessed with. I got involved in unhealthy relationships and more sinful living. I was not at peace. It just was not right! This was not sincere happiness. The Lord was knocking at my heart! I had to give Him my whole life! No turning back this time. When Jesus gets a hold of your life, you will know. Take heed to His call my friends. You won’t be sorry!

Three years ago, I rededicated my life to Jesus Christ. I’m very happy that I chose to serve the Lord. I want His love to shine through me so others will know Jesus as well. I’m still learning lots of things about this walk. Every day is a gift. I love all of you people out there. Like I mentioned before, I’m not perfect, no one is! When we fall down, or feel down, get back up. When Jesus carried that cross and died on it, He died for you and me. We need to acknowledge His love and forgiveness. He is there, He will never leave or forsake us, however, we all have choices. It is up to us.

If you are bound by alcohol or drugs and you think there is no way out. That’s not true, the Lord will help you. You can call on Him today. He will give you the desires of your heart. He will restore what is broken. Just trust in Him. In God’s word, in John Chapter 10 verse 10, Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal, and kill and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it more abundantly.”The peace of the Lord is so wonderful. I’m not saying that this walk is not challenging. It is, but the Lord is the one who will carry us through. Trust him! Don’t tarry too long without Him. I want to thank you all for reading my testimony. I will keep on praying and serving the Lord. Our God is an awesome God! My prayers and love to you all! God bless you all. Amen.

“And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come.” And let the one who hears say “Come.” And let him who is thirsty come: let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost.” Revelation 22:17

I am 27 years old and I am a native woman. I was born on December 3rd, 1982. Long ago as a child I believed in Jesus. I also knew there was a heaven and hell. It’s only by God’s grace that I believed in God through faith. As I got older I always knew that God, the devil, heaven and hell exists. I lived in Peguis until I was 5 years. Then I moved away with my mom and two brothers Derek and Vince to a small city called Brandon in 1988-1995. My mom was a single parent of me and my brothers. My brother Vince is challenged. I was the youngest, 5 years old and my brother Derek 10 and Vince was 8 years old. When we lived in Brandon, I remember a time when I was riding my bike around on my block, that I knew the devil was nothing but God had all power. I think even back then I was a threat to the devil.

At age 11 years old I got hit by a car when I was crossing the street . I was walking home from school during lunch hour and this elderly man hit me with his vehicle. My school was only 3 blocks away from where I lived. I was instantly knocked out. I was just two minutes away nearly getting home. I only got a few cuts and one tooth knocked out. No broken bones. It was God who spared my life. He kept me alive because he knew me already even before I was born that I would completely surrender my life to Him one day.

Later on, my mom had a depression in July of 1995. She graduated from university and nursing. She was working two jobs and was a single mother too. When she had the depression she couldn’t work for awhile. So we moved back to Peguis in September 1995.

I went to a different school with kids I didn’t know at all. The last time I ever went to school in Peguis was when I was in kindergarten. Even when I was a child I was always the kind of girl that would be outgoing, soft spoken and liked to get along well with others. Anyways, when I moved back to Peguis and started school I had to adapt from going to school in the city to going to school on my reserve.

It was a challenge because I was bullied. I tried to make friends when I attended school but was still bullied. It made it difficult for me to go to school. I found myself reading the bible and praying to God. I remember reading mostly Psalms. It was in a red bible (New Testament). Even when I was younger I wasn’t a fighter, I always wanted to get along with others. It became difficult for me to go to class each day. I felt very sad and had a low self-esteem. As I look back on my old report cards I was doing well in my work but my attendance was not so great. I eventually quit school. My mom gave me permission to quit school later on due to the circumstances but she had faith that I would finish my education later on. My mom would rather have me quit school than to be depressed. I have forgiven things that happened to me when I was younger. We need to forgive others because only then God will forgive us too. Forgiving others is one of the ways of healing. We must forgive others.

However, before I eventually quit school, I became very rebellious in my early teens. I spent a lot of my time away from home during the weekends. I would be with my friends. I became sexually active at the age of 14. I had different boyfriends but mostly short term for awhile. I smoked marijuana and drank a bit. But I was mostly into smoking weed.

Since I was 16 years old I was in 3 different long term relationships. They were not healthy relationships and one abusive relationship. When I was physically abused I would hide my bruises from my family and friends. That relationship ended. I still was involved in smoking up and drinking a little. Later on I had a baby at the age of 19. I still was involved in unhealthy relationships afterwords.

I felt in my last relationship that ended in 2007, that my life and soul was being pulled down. At the time my boyfriend’s addictions were pulling me down. I drank a bit and smoked up with him once in awhile. I felt God was calling me because I started to feel bad for how I was living by doing drugs, alcohol and being intimate with my boyfriend at the time. There were times when I felt that my soul was in jeopardy. I felt that if I died in my sins, I would be on my way to hell. My boyfriend and I had an off and on relationship, meaning we would break up and get back together several times. It wasn’t healthy. I was pulled down emotionally because we both couldn’t be without each other so it was not a stable relationship.

I went to college in between when I was with my boyfriend. I had broken up with him for the time that I moved away to college. My mom, my brother Vince and my son Tyrone moved to Brandon while I attended college. It was another challenge that brought me close to God. I still wasn’t living for the Lord completely. It’s one thing to believe in God and another to actually live for Him completely. But God was still faithful and helped me through a lot.

I completed college in June 2006. We moved back to Peguis (my reserve) that year.

I continued my relationship with the guy that I broken up with before College. I didn’t feel right when I was with him intimately. We tried to make it work but it didn’t. I felt the Lord Jesus working on me to give my heart and life completely to him but I was holding back because I didn’t want to change my ways yet. I loved this guy too much. I realize it now that I was being selfish and wanted to go my own way of living. I wasn’t ready to give Jesus my life yet. I may have not been too heavily into drinking but I did drink once in awhile. Drinking is still drinking, just like sin is still sin even if it’s a small sin. It was not right in the eyes of God. It was an off and on relationship for almost 4 years.

I would even get dreams, like they were warnings when I wasn‘t living right. I didn’t feel at peace because Jesus was knocking on my heart’s door. I couldn’t sleep right at night; I was irritable and was not at peace. I finally made a decision to end that relationship early January 2007. It was the best decision I made because that relationship was pulling me down emotionally in my life but most of all it was pulling my soul down in the wrong direction. I needed Jesus in my life because He was the only one that could fill my life with peace, love and joy. He is the way, the truth and the life.

I have been single since then because I now put Jesus first in my life. I have a real relationship with Jesus. It’s an everyday walk. I am not saying it’s always easy. There were times I would get tempted by the devil. Jesus is there to help me through it. I am not a perfect person and never will be. I give God all the glory and praise for His mercy, love, forgiveness and peace. I am even closer to Jesus now then I was 3 years ago.

I will continue telling others about Jesus. I will tell others that drinking, doing drugs, lust, sexual immorality, and more is not right in God‘s eyes. I don’t do this to judge others, only God will be the judge of everyone. I only want to tell others that things are not right, out of love, and to warn others because nothing that the enemy (devil) has to offer is worth it. A person’s soul will live on for eternity after a person dies either in heaven or hell. Don’t let the devil steal your soul! We only have one life. We all have choices, either to walk in God’s ways or our own ways. I choose to live for Jesus and His ways. God’s word is the truth.

Things that I’ve done like have sex, drugs, etc almost took my soul to hell if I died in my sins. The only hope a person has in this life is Jesus. Repenting of sins and turning away from sins. Jesus wants us to live for Him completely. It’s not about attending church on Sundays, doing good deeds or being a good person. A person has to be born again and that’s by accepting Jesus as your personal Savior and repenting (confessing) your sins wholeheartedly. Repenting means to tell Jesus your sins and being really sorry for them and asking Him to forgive you and He will.

I serve an Awesome God. He is very mighty! However, he won’t allow any sin into His kingdom. That’s why I am sharing my testimony and will keep sharing about God, His Word, and I will keep posting videos, notes and pictures to show you Jesus is truly the way! (*insert: Crystal ministers on Facebook*)

Even when I post things about hell and Jesus returning, it’s all true my friends because Jesus will return so we must be ready, it says it all in the bible. So my friends be careful what choices you make. When you completely surrender your heart and life to Jesus you‘ll see the changes Jesus does in your life and you‘ll never be the same. He will make you a brand new person. He will forget your past. Only by Jesus’ precious blood we can be cleansed. He died on that cross of Calvary for me and you. What He can do in my life and others lives, He can do for you. God loves you! Seek Him soon. Jesus is worth it. You have everything to gain with Jesus Christ and nothing to lose. But without Jesus you have everything to lose and nothing to gain. Well God bless you all.

I was about 5-7 when the Lord spoke to me from a cloud in the west. I had assumed at that age that the light was coming from the sun though it was early in the morning. Since that day the enemy attacked me and used the mistakes of unsaved friends and family and anyone who he could in order to destroy me. As I grew older I became self absorbed and prideful. I was being drawn to the occult and witchcraft and did not know it.

I experienced terrifying dreams and an angel tried to take me into the heavenlies, but I was so scared of everything. I believed that the evil beings that some called aliens where trying to take me and I even remember, what I believe was an out of body experience, where something was taking me. I had a feeling it was not good so I said put me back but they/it didn’t until I said, “Jesus, I want to go back.”

Many strange things and strange people came in and out of my life. I was molested, verbally abused and somewhat physically abused. So I craved the love and attention I only got when people saw me sing or dance. Entertainment was the only option for me in my mind and I idolized Prince, Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Boy George, and Terrance Trent Darby.

I could not wait to get plastic surgery and I just wanted to be rich, beautiful and famous so I would not have troubles in life; so I could help people.

I grew older and had some success in dance and began to segway into acting, but by then, I became a homosexual, marijuana smoking, club hopping, sinner.

I was diagnosed with HIV and then became depressed, anxious, bitter, angry and somewhat suicidal but I know that I would not be forgiven for that. I started with cocaine and cigarettes by this time, and slowly progressed into crystal meth.

One day after drinking some vodka, I fell out on the concrete. Before this happened, I remember a swirling effect happening around me and evil forces pulling me down and laughing. I felt these things in my spirit but did not see anything. I knew I was dying and that I was going to hell. I felt like, “well, I’m a sinner so I belong in hell and God is doing the right thing.” But something in me said, “why don’t you pray?” So I told God that I didn’t feel like prying because I’ve been too bad but… I just was not ready to die and if You could please do something, maybe send some angels to help me. I cried and cried.

When I was out, everything was blacker then black and I think I may have been in hell but don’t remember because He has not allowed it, thank God. Then a very strong wind and then white, I got up thinking I was at home in bed only to see concrete and people around me. I don’t know how long I was out. I didn’t see any blood when I got up but some say my head was gushing blood. Nobody helped, only one guy who drank with me kept screaming, “get up… you ok… just get up.”

I stayed inside for the next 3 days crying because I knew I deserved hell and I thought how awful it would be to be there, knowing how good God is. I would be singing his praises because I always did. I just can’t help it, even when I’m depressed, sad or angry. If a gospel song comes on the radio, my vocal chords just start moving. It kept me from killing myself.

Well, I went to the hospital and nothing was wrong on the CAT scan, which was strange because I had terrible headaches. They thought I had a heart problem but the test showed a heart which the doctor said I could model for her students so they would see what a healthy heart looked like. She also said that there was no murmur, which I had as a child.

I felt words inside me saying, “a clean heart” and I thought of the scripture (Psalm 51:10) “create in me a clean heart.”

While in the hospital for those 3 days, the voice I heard in the cloud at age 6, said, “Choose!” I thought of the scripture (Joshua 24:15 ) “choose you this day” and I said, “oh God it’s time.” So ever since then, I decided to follow Jesus. No more sex, drugs and R&B for me.

I live a life of complete holiness, thanks to the power of The Holy Ghost. I ask that all who read this will pray that the Lord continue to sanctify me wholly as I die daily to sin and walk in the newness of life though Christ Jesus.

Time is short, when the Lord spoke to me at age 6, He told me I would do many bad things but that He would not forget me. I asked to go with Him when He came and for Him to stop me from doing bad things and let me know ahead of time when He was coming so I could warn everybody.

I felt led to ask for how much time and I said, “A couple years” but remembering that my mom said a couple meant 2, I said, “Oh no, we need more. I need more time because there are a lot of people.” So I thought well, several years, cause I thought that meant 7. So I said, “Yeah Lord 7 should be enough time.”

Then I felt His presence leave and I became confused about if He would give me 7 or was that too much, being that I first said 2, so maybe 4??

Interestingly enough, I was baptized in August of 09 and the Lord has been cleaning me up in preparation of something.

2010 marks the 70th anniversary of Israel, so if the generation spoken of in Matthew 24:34 which shall not pass away before they see all these things which includes Him sending His angels to collect the elect, is the 70 year generation according to Psalm 90:10 . Then we are 7 years away. God kept His promise to me. He did not forget me and He brought me out of darkness, so maybe we will get 7 more years. Keep looking up!!!

This is just a quick update to let you know I have added a new page/tab called “Testimonies”. I would love it if you have a testimony of what Christ has done in your life, share that with us so others can be encouraged and informed about our walk of trusting in our faithful Lord Jesus.

Please check out the tab above, here is a link to it also: Testimonies