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Thursday, March 8, 2012

love and respect

remember i told you that our pastor gave these out at our valentine's dinner?
well, i want to give you an update.

i am going to be totally honest here.
reading another marriage book was a mixed bag for me.
i have read and read marriage books, with and without the desired results.
but i want the best for our marriage and what our pastor said was interesting.

the first couple of chapters where a struggle.
for me the concept of respect (biblical respect) is new to me.
while i thought i act pretty respectful, it was clear that i had my work cut our for me.

let me be clear that my hubby well deserves me respect, so anything i say does not diminish that.
for me, the type of respect that was being laid out for me in the book triggered thoughts/fears of being a doormat (covered in the book).
i did not/do not want to totally lay who i am down and be, how can i put this?, well, a doormat is just going to have to do.
the examples of people did these things were, almost too good to be true. like i'm thinking, not with me/him/our marriage.

the first chapters were frustrating me, so i jumped ahead in the book to the c-h-a-i-r-s chapters for the wives.
i figured if respecting your husbands is in the bible then i better learn what it is and how to do it.
*side note-there was much prayer being dome on my part for a heart to "get it".*
these chapters were more of a help.
God softened my heart as well.
i was still not too sure how to put this new respect thing into play, but i was willing to try.

then about a month later (i am still not done with the book yet) hubby starts reading it. (if it doesn't have a deer, elk, or food on the cover he is probably not going to read it.) after a few days we go out to "talk".
long story short, i can see a difference.
i am also SO glad that he is willing to work on our marriage too.

while i still have MUCH to learn and change my thinking/reacting on, i am encouraged.

This book was life changing for us...my mom gave it to us for valentine's day 8 yrs ago. The first few chapters were like nails on a chalkboard (I seriously broke the spine of the book after chucking it across the room!) Respect is huge for men. Just being loving doesn't compute in ways we think it should for them! In the end, our marriage is always better when we are focused on the other person. But....as soon as we start focusing on ourselves, you know the storm is brewin'!