Maybe you have asked yourself that question when being faced with well-organized bookstores, well-versed readers, authors or publishers.

The short answer is, no, it isn’t.

There’s a major difference between reading a romance and reading porn. And I think making that distinction shouldn’t be a problem for most people.

But what about the genres in-between? What is the difference between erotic romance and erotica? And where do you draw the line between erotica and porn? Isn’t erotic romance just a fancy term for ‘porn for women’?

Let’s tackle the issue systematically.

As readers, we all know the feeling: we read a book, expecting a specific style or choice of words typical for, say, a romance, and suddenly it turns into something much different. There are f-words and v-words and p-words, and all kinds of other juicy details you really did not want to have spelled out on the page.

Or, the reverse scenario, you want to read a steamy erotic romance, you have build-up, sexual tension, a good plot. Every fiber in you wants the hero and heroine to have their ecstatic climax—pun intended—and then the author does a fade-out, only vaguely hinting at the sexual acts taking part in one or two sentences. As reader, you feel ripped off, like you’ve just been deprived of something essential. Like you’ve engaged in hours of foreplay, only for your partner to finish off the actual act in 30 seconds, leaving you frustrated and disappointed and wondering “What the heck was that?”

Both of these are classic cases of either a reader being unaware of genre distinctions and therefore having bought a book in the wrong genre, or (and this happens more and more frequently, too, especially among self-published authors) an author ignorantly (or deliberately) mislabeling the genre of their book.

Let’s clear up the distinctions between the genres, so that you can find your perfect match (storywise) next time you take a trip to the bookstore.

Romance

The classic genre of romance broadly encompasses all stories dealing with relationships, love and romance. Several sub-classifications are available, such as historical romance, supernatural romance, etc.

The distinguishing feature of a romance is, that sex is not overtly described. Sex scenes take place off-page, and are usually only hinted on. Many romances don’t take it farther than a hot kiss and maybe some explicit touching and groping (if they’re feeling adventurous).

While these stories can be very hot, plot conflicts usually revolve around the characters and the issues standing in the way of their relationship rather than sex. Romances rarely have any kind of sexual conflict (because solving such a conflict does require the detailed description of sex).

If you’re looking for innocent romances without running the danger of coming across words that might offend you, this is a safe genre to go.

Erotic Romance

Erotic romance is where we’re slowly wading into the swamp of explicit sex scenes. While romance can still be very easily distinguished from erotic romance, the lines will become progressively blurred from this point onwards. Due to self-publishing, more and more in-between genres keep popping up, and we’re also faced with more and more stories that cannot easily be classified as either one or the other because they encompass aspects of several genres.

But let me start from the beginning:

An erotic romance distinguishes itself from a romance through explicit sex AND a sexual conflict. You still have the same personal conflicts such as the characters’ struggle to work out their relationship, but there’s a sexual conflict that needs to be solved, and that warrants explicitly written sex. These conflicts can be overt (ex. a character having to overcome sexual trauma) or subtler (in which the sex adds a new aspect to one or both characters, and thereby aids character growth).

Some of you may want to say now: but I have read tons of erotic romances with sex, where there was no conflict.

That may be. But the general rule is that every sex scene in erotic romances should serve a purpose and further either plot or character development. If it doesn’t cut it out. A sex scene just for the sake of sex makes the story a strange hybrid between erotic romance and porn, and it is strongly discouraged by publishers and writers since it usually marks bad writing.

You may have come across a few comments accusing E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey of having too much sex. That is precisely because she ignored that rule. Many of her sex scenes are repetitive and serve neither plot development, nor character development or conflict solving.

The key feature of an erotic romance is, that the romance (ergo, the blooming relationship between the two characters) is still the predominant part of the novel.

Many publishers hand out guidelines for erotic romances stating that there shouldn’t be more (or less) than 3-5 sex scenes in a 80-100k word story.

In my experience, that’s a pretty good measure for these stories, because writing more, you run the risk of making your sexual conflicts the main plot of your story (thereby moving the story into the realms of erotica). Writing less you may disappoint some readers seeking erotic romance, because they might feel that the built up sexual tension and sexual conflicts weren’t adequately resolved.

As always with everything in writing, guidelines should be kept in mind, but you’re free to break the rules if the plot requires something different.

Language- and style-wise, erotic romances can move through all realms. You may have crude language or a softer, subtler tone. Just the use of the words “fuck”, “cock” or “cunt” is not what determines the genre of a story. It is style preference by the author.

I have come across a few people who claimed that their publishers required them to use crude language in their erotic romances, but these requirements differ from publisher to publisher. What’s important is character coherence. (We should all be able to agree that a female Catholic virgin character would be highly unlikely to suddenly proclaim “Yes, fuck me! Fuck me harder!” 😉 ) So, as an author, make sure it all fits.

I myself refuse using crude language simple for the sake of the language. I am a strong believer in showing instead of telling, and the crude language to me is always an extreme tell. Sure, sometimes dirty talk can be a hot addition to a story, but like every tool, I use it when it makes sense, so that it has an impact. But, as I said, that all depends on personal style.

Erotic romance allows for the entire spectrum of language, style and plot, as long as you have sexual conflict and explicit sex.

Erotica vs. Porn

Ha. Now it’s getting wild, so bear with me please. Both erotica and porn are genres in which the sexual conflict constructs the plot. In other words: there is little to no plot aside from the sex.

So basically just porn, you may say now?

No. Yes. Kinda. I told you, the lines would begin to blur more the deeper we wade into the waters, which is why I threw these two genres together into one subpoint. You cannot define one without contrasting it to the other.

I used to hold the opinion that erotica was basically just a fancy term for those (mostly female) authors who hesitated to label their stories porn for reputational reasons. An author who writes porn enjoys about the same social standing as an actor/actress who does porn. For the longest time, I believed, this was just a question of semantics, so they could say:

Then I looked at different stories, and I noticed that there did indeed seem to be a slight difference between stories labeled porn, and stories labeled erotica.

I will be honest, whether or not there is a difference between porn and erotica is still highly debated among authors and publishers. Some publishers draw the line. Some authors do, too. Others just throw them into the same pot.

Especially on amazon, you have the problem that KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) doesn’t allow porn stories to be published. But it does allow erotica. So, yeah, you can already see what happens there: authors mislabel their porn stories as erotica to be able to distribute via Kindle. (One of the examples for deliberate mislabeling.)

So here’s how I see it:

Porn has an external focus.

Erotica has an internal focus. Your story is driven by a sexual conflict, and the resolution of said conflict always happens on an internal level. A lot of this is a matter of point of view and narrative perspective.

Think of a porn movie.

(And don’t even pretend you’ve never seen one cause if you read my blog, you read my stories, and if you read my stories, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say I’m sure you have come across some sort of porn in your life.

You may gasp in shock. Scoff at the screen, and breathe “What, me? Never!”

Do that now, so we can get over it. I’ll wait.

Okay. Now, let’s move on.)

All porn movies have an external focus point: the camera. It will show you the aesthetics of the scene, the sweaty bodies, the movements, the details. But they never give you insight into the character’s thoughts or emotions. Written porn is the same.

Written porn will focus on the aesthetics of the scene. It will be preoccupied with where certain body parts are, or move (hands on shoulder, legs hugging waist, etc.), and how it all looks (sweaty skin, etc.). For that reason, it often reads less emotional (simply because no emotional insight is given).

Erotica will give you those insights into the character. While in both, erotica and porn, sex is the main conflict and usually sole plot, the distinction is in the execution thereof.

Both erotica and porn are usually shorter stories (simply because it’s hard to write an 80k novel about nothing but sex). They can include hints of other aspects, too.

For example: You can absolutely have an erotica or porn story that has hints of a relationship (or similar) conflict. But usually these conflicts don’t matter and are therefore not resolved. They merely serve the purpose of setting a scene.

Think again of the parallel to porn movies. Many of these movies start with the hint of a story to set the scene:

The secretary who made a mistake and will be fired unless she has sex with her boss. (We never see the consequences of her mistake, or how she corrects the mistake, and it doesn’t matter, because we as readers/viewers understand that these conflicts are not the purpose of the story.)

The new neighbor who moves in and has a hot one-night stand with the girl next door, only to walk out right after. (The implied conflicts are clear. They live next to each other, so some sort of either expectation or awkwardness should ensue, but we don’t go that far, because the sex resolves the main conflict.)

In both porn and erotica, sex is the story purpose, and the execution (in style) of the sex is what distinguishes one from the other. Conflict solving (other than the sexual conflict) is secondary. As soon as the story begins seriously tacking other conflicts, it moves into the realms of erotic romance.

Fluid boundaries and mislabeling

I hope now you have a slightly better understanding of the differences between the genres. It’s still important to mention that the boundaries between them are fluid.

But mislabeling is also a growing problem, especially among self-publishing authors. I’ve seen authors label their porn stories erotica, or declaring their erotica erotic romances.

This raises a lot of problems on both sides. Readers of course face the inevitable disappointment of having gotten something different in the box than what it was labeled as. It’s like buying a pack of fruit loops and finding cornflakes inside. You may like both, but when buying fruit loops, that’s what you want to find in the box.

For authors genre mislabeling becomes an existential marketing failure. Disappointed readers mean lots of returned books (esp. ebooks). It also means lots of bad reviews, because readers usually judge a book in the context of its genre. The explanation for that is not that readers are especially genre-aware, but rather that readers have genre favorites. Most readers limit themselves to certain genres, and so they subconsciously internalize the genre’s conventions from the tons of books they’ve already read.

Take the example of romance again: A reader who has already read a hundred romances will be outraged when s/he suddenly reads a mislabeled erotic romance that slipped in there. They will probably leave negative comments regarding the explicit sex, which made them uncomfortable. Maybe the use of language.

Not all readers react that way, of course, but many do.

As an author, keep in mind that mislabeling your book can severely damage your reputation.

And as a reader, keep in mind: knowing your genres can save you disappointment and prepare you for what to expect.

So, how do you buy books? Do you buy books by genre when shopping for new ones? And have you ever read a book that you felt was badly mislabeled and left you entirely disappointed? If so, which?

Please leave a comment, but remember, be respectful towards other readers and authors!

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