Friday, September 09, 2005

Skin is thicker than blood

Dengue Season means more demand for platelet transfusions in the hospitals, so do lend a helping hand (and arm) at the Blood Bank if you can.This story is dedicated to all the housemen who managed to squeeze blood from stones.

BTS: Hello? You paged?

What I say: Hi, this is angry doc, calling from Cheap Good Hospital. I’ve got a patient with a bleeding ulcer and I need some packed cells.

BTS: OK… what’s his Hb?

What I want to say: Well, it’s probably 8 now, but before the last two packs it was…

What I say: 6.4.

BTS: Hmm… what’s his blood group.

What I say: B+

BTS: Hmm… we are short of B+ now. How many units do you need?

What I want to say: You know, I swear this job can be done by a recording. He needs two units actually, but since I know what you are going to say…

What I say: Four.

BTS: Hmm... cannot lah; I can only give you one.

What I want to say: Yikes! You’re even stingier than I thought.

What I say: But he’s still bleeding… can you approve another unit please?

BTS: No. We’re really very short on B+ now.

What I want to say: OK, I didn’t think I would have to sink so low, but…

What I say: C’mon. I can tell from your voice you are a kind doctor, right? What’s your name?

BTS: Charity*. What’s yours?

What I want to say: …

What I say: Irony…

BTS: Irony?

What I say: Er… Ernie. That’s right… Ernie.

BTS: Ernie? You went to med school with my sister, right?

What I want to say: Well, I slept through most of med school and don’t remember much, but if it’ll help…

What I say: Yes! I bet you are as sweet and pretty as your sister.

BTS: *giggle* Well, let your blood bank know I’ve approved two units.

What I want to say: I feel so dirty… but…

What I say: Thanks.

* - Apologies to the real Dr Charity. Now who can tell me what Charity’s sister’s name is?