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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Bring on the rain.......

Have you ever felt like you've been hung out to dry and it keeps raining on you?Well that's where I'm at right now.I awoke this morning to thunder, lightening and rain.I look out my window because I remember my clothes on the line. They are no longer dry.I'm no longer dry. I feel like those heavy clothes...My thoughts are heavy. My heart is heavy and I feel as though I just want to crawl under something to get out of the rain.But I can't. I have to stand. I have to endure the rain yet again and I'm wondering.....I'm terribly tired. Tired of accepting food. Tired of writing thank you cards yet again.I'm tired of trying to explain to my children that "no this doesn't happen to everyone".I'm tired of forgiving people for saying stupid things like...".Cord accidents are because of the mothers blood pressure"..or..."we have put our kids through so much it's so un-fair to them..."

Scott and I are strong we have been through alot together but the rain is still cold and wet.Trying to make sure the coldness doesn't get to our kids. Trying to stay warm and still walk through the storms of life when your both soaked to the bone.Having a hope and peace that all things work together for the good of those that love Him.We lay in bed at night and wonder how God will use this for our good.Wondering how this will be used on His behalf to bring Him glory and honor.

I will stand in the rain. I will look for shelter, I will pray for the Lord's strength to just do the next thing. (Elizabeth Elliot wrote in one of her books when you don't know what to do 'Just do the next thing'.)I will remember............God's promisesGod's provisionsGod's love for my family

11 comments:

Robin, I thought of you this morning as I lay in the bed and listened to the thunder and rain. I prayed for you and Scott. And I will pray over and over that He will give the strength just to do the next thing.

My heart is so heavy for you and your family. "God wispers to us in our joys, speaks to us in our conscience, and shouts to us in our pain." CS Lewis I pray God is shouting HIS words to you! Jill White Williamson

Oh, Robin, I so remember those feelings of empty arms that were supposed to be holding my child. My body was so confused... signs of a pregnancy I knew wasn't there, a body ready to nurse a new baby... that couldn't be comforted by my nursing baby. Still wearing maternity clothes... but not pregnant. The tears come again just to think about it.

I have every confidence that you and Scott and the children will all come out on the other side of this fine, even stronger. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God will take you through this. And I know you're surrounded by friends who will do all they can to help you.

But, you know, IT STILL HURTS!!! And it's no fun. And there are still questions and confusion. And this isn't the way we wanted it to be. And all those emotions and feelings are really okay, too.

Oh, Robin. I'm hurting with you. Please remember that even in the moments when you have time to dwell on it all, you're not alone.

Yes, be strong... in the Lord, in the power of His might. But it's okay to be real, too.

You always share your thoughts so beautifully, so poetically. Thank you, Friend. You are ministering to more people than you know... even as you share your grief.

May He fill you hands with sweet peace and grace here and there through this hard time. I love your picture, too! Such a meaningful image. I love the words in the song 'Washed by the water' by Needtobreathe; Even when the rain falls Even when the flood starts risingEven when the storm comesI am washed by the water

Robin, I will be praying for you every day. I have 4 babies in heaven. My daughter Angela Rochelle went home at 40 weeks. Cord accident. She was fine and I was in labor. Then that night her heartbeat went away. I have felt the pain of her loss on and off since her birthday April, 9 1994. I have missed other babies I will not know in this life. I wish that you would have never felt this pain. My hope is in GOD that HE will tourn your mourning into dancing. I have read some other books, My heart in His hands, the memoirs of Ann Judson by Sharon James. It is a story of young missionaries to India in the 1800's. She is a true hero and walks through 2 miles of rain soaked ground to feed her husband every day in prison. She and her newborn searched and followed him when they moved him. The whole family suffered and recovered from fevers, and eventually both mom and babe succumb, but not before rescuing her husband and charming the officials. Her grace and fearless mothering endear her to everyone during her life. I would like to journey this road with you, please accept my heartfelt prayers that your journey is bearable and that you fell our hugs each day.

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"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."