Training Moms to Teach Their Kids About Abstinence, Sexuality, and Pornography

“Electric Sex Gleaming in the Window…”

“Only one thing could draw me away from the electric sex gleaming in the window….” Do you remember that movie line from the movie A Christmas Story? Well I decided to show my kids that movie over the weekend and I had totally forgotten that the kids in the movie cuss ( not that they haven’t heard cussing before, but I think it was the first movie they have seen where the 9 year olds cuss). And I forgot the “major award”..leg lamp was strategically placed in the middle of the living room window..and was described as electric sex…and Ralphie’s adult voice says, “The entire neighborhood was turned on.” Now my 9 year old son didn’t catch it, but my daughter did and she said, “It’s probably good that Grandma didn’t come over tonight to watch this movie with us.” Now my mama was a sex-education teacher for many years and even paved the road before me years ago when she talked to young moms about how to teach their kids about sex. My mom probably would have chuckled at the line as my husband and I did. Now here is the point…..#1. Don’t over-react when your kids hear something in a movie that makes you squirm. Perhaps they hear something from a neighbor or watch a movie at friend’s house that you would not approve of. Don’t freak out; instead, use it as an opportunity to teach your kids about sexuality in a positive light. The more conversations you have, the less uncomfortable you will feel.

#2 Don’t under-react either. Many moms and dads pass up opportunities or just brush off the comments of their kids that are about sexuality and body development. Brush off too many conversations and your kiddos will quit asking you their questions and go ask their friends. Once after a speaking engagement, I had a mom tell me that her son asked what the word “pornography” meant. She was too embarrassed to tell him and she thought that maybe he wasn’t ready, so she just said, “I will tell you when you are older.” The kid went and got his tablet and looked up the word on internet and you can only guess what he found.

#3 Talk to your kids about sexuality when the opportunities present themselves. For example, we have some friends who breed dogs and we are headed out to visit the puppies soon. The breeders just have females and they “rent” a male stud dog from a separate breeder. Curious, my daughter asked me several questions about the breeding process…How long are the male and female together? Does the male go to other houses to breed? Why don’t the breeders have males and females together? At the end of the conversation I just told her the facts, “The male dog is just there to have sex and get the female pregnant. There isn’t a relationship beyond that.” The animal kingdom is great for talking to your kids about sexuality. We have friends that breed kittens and they let other kids come over and watch the babies be born. It’s a great non-threatening way to teach your kids.

So the next time you see “Electric Sex” burning in your neighbor’s window….take the opportunity to talk to your kids. They are certainly listening….more than you know.

Tip: Use the animal kingdom to generate conversation. Don’t pass off their curious questions either. They may find some one else to answer them.