Is former overweight person and current size-o-phobe Karl Lagerfeld changing his Hedi Slimane stripes? Beth Ditto, who in addition to being very talented, weighs somewhat more than 100 lbs, is playing a Fendi party. [FWD]

Agyness Deyn's 17-year-old sister Emily is starting a t-shirt company with a chum named Aliyah Hussein. Their first offerings feature images of the girls' icon, Queen Elizabeth II, whom Emily called "the original gangster!" [Blackbook via Nylon]

I have no idea why this writer seems to think female models all have drivers — that might be true of the dozen top girls who walk in every show, but, trust me, the rest of us ride public transport. But it is correct that even the top-earning male models are always paid significantly less than their female counterparts. Russian Matvey Lykov, for instance, walked 34 shows in Europe, and only made enough to buy a ticket to the Dominican Republic to relax for a spell afterwards. [LA Times]

And the indignities just don't stop: Doutzen Kroes, the model and Victoria's Secret angel, was treated to a super-original pick-up line on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten. At a bar called Tantra, a drunk stranger cooed, "I thought you couldn't go out without your wings." Barf. [NYDN]

The Daily News also has this horrific model blind item: "Which top model's plastic surgeon is in big trouble? He accidentally spilled acid on her chest while they were having sex in his office." That, right there, is fodder for nightmares. [NYDN]

More forthcoming about his schedule is Valentino. The retired Italian designer has announced he'll be in New York on March 17 to tape an episode of The Martha Stewart Show, just ahead of the theatrical release the documentary modestly titled Valentino: The Last Emperor. I hope they bake amazing cookies, or do collage in tones of red together. [The Cut]

According to Women's Wear Daily's "sources" — who can be pretty spot on about these things — Halston is sizing up the London designer Marios Schwab to become their new creative director. The revived Halston has struggled, and is still trying to replace Marco Zanini, the designer they let go after just two seasons last year. [WWD]

Cathy Horyn, whose life is more fun than your own, describes what it's like to run into the people she's savaged ("I said hey to Anna...") and then hangs out with Karl Lagerfeld on his doorstep on the eve of the Chanel show. [On The Runway]

Jil Sander might be back. After being dumped from her namesake label — and then begged to return, and then fired again — following its purchase by Prada, Sander has been a fashion orphan. Attending an industry textiles fair might mean she has a new project. Or it might not. [WWD]

Feministing is surprised an article in H&M's in-store magazine on dressing like a tomboy ignored any hint of a queer perspective — despite using Samantha Ronson as one of its examples. Remember, girlie, it's OK to steal from your boyfriend, just remember to add that feminine touch! [Feministing]

Beth Ditto, meanwhile, is enjoying her first fashion week in Paris. Coming off her cover spot in the first issue of Katie Grand's Love magazine, the Gossip songstress has the keys to the carrousel du louvre. And mark no fear of queer connotations on her part: Ditto's favorite thing about the Jean Paul Gaultier show was "the butch clothes! I mean that in the best way. Masculine is hot!" [FWD]

Three different women designers — get this — respond differently to the question of how to clothe, and by extension, represent, the female body. Imagine, there's not a 1:1 correlation between being female and making feminine clothing! [International Herald-Tribune]

Buyers at Paris fashion week aren't sure exactly what consumers are going to want to own in six months. Handbags are a sure bet in the Middle East, says one, because they can be toted freely in public despite women's clothing restrictions. Russians will still want to buy, well, everything, says a buyer for one boutique. London might be about jewelry and scarves; Paris stores aren't sure whether to under-order for a fall in demand, or bet on a surprise recovery. Left unsaid is the fact that almost nobody in retail could stand to see a repeat of last fall's choked-off sales. [Reuters]

American Apparel, which had to recently renegotiate costly new financing of both their $75 million Bank of America revolving credit line and their $51 million loan from private equity group SOF Investments, now is approaching the March 21 deadline for both loans. [WWD]

L.L. Bean's revenues were down $1.5 billion, or 7.8%, over the last financial year. The company expects to be making layoffs. [The Street]

The Italian brand Tod's finished out a difficult year with enough money to give $1,700+ bonuses to all its employees, including the people who make their goods in Italy. [WWD]

A small American fashion brand that sells its wares in France reportedly included the message "We are sorry that our president is an idiot, we did not vote for him" on the care tag. Obviously they meant Bush. Reminds one of how the teenaged Alexander McQueen stitched "I am a cunt" onto the interlining of a suit for Prince Charles when he was apprenticed to Savile Row tailors Anderson & Sheppard. [InventorSpot]