Confused about the NHL Lockout? Well, ESPN certainly isn’t there to help, unless you think the solution is a 50-50 split of TEBOW!

We’ve got the perfect teachers for you, America. Foul-mouthed Canadians, who made a legendary parody of the NHL Lockout’s inevitable 50/50 owners/player’s split (according to these HOSERS, at least) and it’s incessant dumbassery.

Canadians! Cursing! Pee! Watch!

Do the owners really need 13 beers? They have hundreds stashed all over! Do the players really need 13? They don’t pay for shit! I know hockey players are big and tough, but certainly 12 beers can get them super-shwasted, right?

Let these men have their hockey, even if ~98% of the United States doesn’t know it’s gone.