I have tried Illustrator and Premiere.
I have for about 30 minutes and I cannot click on any element within the application.
They hang/freeze literally instantly. The application opens, I try to click on "File" or any tool and I get nothing. I might as well be clicking on a picture of the application. Opening Task Manager shows that it is not responding.

Ok, so not instantly (or literally) - they freeze after the splash screen is done and the UI is drawn.

My guess would be that the problem is with the dynamic media server, and it is not launching. Both Photoshop and Premiere try to connect to that service (a process on your system) right after launch, and if it is damaged, both can hang while trying to connect to it. Uninstalling and reinstalling Premiere might help.

It may also be your video driver. Determine what video card you have and go *directly to the manufacturers website (nVidia or ATI/AMD)* and download the latest driver: http://blogs.adobe.com/crawlspace/201...

Just doing Windows Update won't give you the latest and greatest drivers. You must go directly to your card manufacturers website to check for driver updates.