August 12th

August 12th was a beautiful day. We’re in Florida so it was 98,000 degrees, but it was a beautiful 98,000 degrees because my friend, Tarra had just returned from China. She’d been singing in a Shanghai nightclub for the past eight months.

I agreed, but I forgot to tell her that I rarely plan things anymore, not entire days at least. She’d find out soon enough.

We began that Saturday with breakfast at our favorite spot, Another Broken Egg.

“Do you mind if I invite John?” she asked.

I didn’t mind. I’d visited John’s home with her last year. Blue crab and conversation permeated the air and left me with a fondness for him. It was fine.

We talked and laughed over fried green tomatoes, lobster and Brie omelets, and shrimp and grits. Tarra’s overseas stories captivated my imagination, and reminded me of every other artist’s story; the opportunity to sing in another country was fascinating, but underhanded business practices seem to be the norm.

I’m grateful for younger people who understand the importance of documenting events. She didn’t ask questions or look annoyed.

A few weeks prior, I’d asked Tarra if she wanted to do a wine tasting.

“I’d love to,” she responded. “I’ve never been to one.”

Doing things that someone has never done before excites me. I dusted off my Cooper’s Hawk wine tasting gift card and we headed ten minutes up the street. My friend had only had an African Shiraz and hadn’t been very impressed. Now, we were on a red wine mission.

As the sommelier poured and explained each glass, I laughed as Tarra’s former educator-self shone through. Check + for Rosé. Check – for Lux Pinot Noir.

We talked about over-40 lady issues, her relationships, and my children. I shared my latest writing projects with her. We high-fived and toasted to achievements and marveled at how we’d attained them in the first place. That’s the type of friend she is. We’ve deemed one another Dream Partners. She was there when I completed my PhD and I was there before she stepped into her calling. Everyone needs someone to say, “You can do it,” especially when you’re not so sure you should, much less can. She’s that friend.

I checked my phone. It was two o’clock already.

“I have a confession,” I began, “I know it’s not like me, but I didn’t plan the rest of the day. I’ve changed quite a bit…not as anal as I used to be. I figured we’d just find something to do.”

“You know. That’s not like you at all, but we can do whatever.”

A thought popped into my mind. “Let’s take a riverboat tour!”

She agreed. Twenty minutes later, we were downtown and looking for the loading dock. We’d also lucked out and could do an hour tour with another group.

By now it was 158,000 degrees outside, plus those eight tastings were slowly taking effect. I fell asleep about 15 minutes in, so much so that when Tarra woke me up just in time to take this picture, I didn’t even remember that I was on a boat. My photog instinct kicked in just in time. And I’m grateful because this is something I’ve only seen from the water.

“Thank you,” I said, wiping my forehead with the toilet tissue the tour guide had handed me when we first boarded.

Our water taxi lasted much longer than an hour. The captain’s and tour guide’s shifts ended, and somehow, we ended up taking another lap around the St. Johns River with the new crew.

We disembarked by five o’clock and headed to her friend’s get together. There, three other women welcomed Tarra back to the States. One of the lady’s husbands had made blue crab, shrimp, sausage, and eggs, a Jacksonville staple. We sat around the round, glass table and reveled in Tarra’s growth and presence. It’s hard not to leap spiritual bounds when you’ve been living independently overseas.

My phone read 9:00. It was time for me to hug Tarra good-bye and head back home.

I reflected on the twelve hours we’d shared. They were easy. They were calm. They were relaxing. They were exactly how I would expect spending the day with a friend should be.

It really was! Neil. That is the only thing I order whenever I go there lol. I can’t bring myself to try anything else for fear of it being inadequate. And yes. She’s pretty awesome. Right now she’s in New York.

You know it is pleasure rather than obligation when you lose track of the time, want to stay and talk all day. One sister and a couple friends are in that category, comfortable relationships where we have fun no matter what we do. I love the idea of being “dream partners” to support each others goals–everybody needs one of those! 🙂

Most definitely Joan and that’s where I’ve tried to kind of live my life over the past 3-4 years, out of pleasure. If I feel as if I have to do something out of obligation, then I stop for a minute and assess.

Glad to hear you also have a few people who are not in the obligation category too!

Kathy, it sounds like a day to treasure, which you certainly did. Writing about it is so beautiful because it will brings it all back when you read it again someday in the future.
More and more as I’ve gotten older, I realize how important reconnecting with friends is.

I guess that’s why I like to schedule at least a day/time for people because I want to be able to fully invest in activity (ies). But I hear you…it’s not for everyone. She’s actually working on a one-woman show she’ll be running in October, and then after that a few plays/musicals. I probably won’t be conducting any interviews with her lol If you Google her name: Tarra Conner Jones, then you’ll probably find a few others who have. Here’s a YouTube video from one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfWqJrwFtOA

Oooh…thanks for sharing, I’ll have a look tonight. I kid- it just depends on the person. Sounds like you could just be you, including napping without fear of offending so that wouldn’t be too draining.

What a wonderful day Kathy, I can sense your joy and contentment. Yes, we all need a friend like that.
Generous and positive – and we need to be.
I love unplanned days too whenever there is a chance….and that food, ………
miriam

There’s nothing better than sharing a day with a dear friend 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

I especially loved your observation: “Everyone needs someone to say, “You can do it,” especially when you’re not so sure you should, much less can. She’s that friend.”
~ I totally agree. It was such a friend that set me off on my writing career.

Most definitely Rosaliene! Thanks for reading and commenting. Yes, although I wholeheartedly believe that we should find strength in ourselves, the importance of outside motivation (in the form of relationships) hasn’t escaped me; it’s also important. Glad you recognized this to be true in your own life as well 🙂

Love this, Kathy! Go with the flow – I’m working on that too. 🙂 I’m about to go on vacation – at the airport. Please send blessings. And have a beautiful few weeks (wrote a blog late last night for Forgiving Fridays!!) Love Love Love, Debbie