I’ve heard, and I myself have said, “The difference between men and women is that women care about timing.”

Then again, a lot of what men say…, wait, let me start again. By men here I mean men who are comedians, and, usually, crappy comedians. Okay, so a lot of what men say are the differences between men and women don’t seem to me to actually be differences between men and women. Instead, they’re differences between people you have a romantic interest in, and people you don’t. Or some variation on that. I kinda think that’s also an explanation for a lot of what evolutionary psychologists say about…, wait, let me start that one again, too. By evolutionary psychologists I mean men with theories about how evolution explains whether they’re getting sex, and by theories I mean, usually, crappy theories. Of course your interactions with someone you’re romantically interested in are gonna be different! You don’t need some overarching theory or grand generalization to explain that. So I’m not gonna say this is a difference between men and women. The difference between people I’m romantically interested in and other people, is that the people I’m romantically interested in care about timing. It’s not the only difference. But it’s the most annoying one. Because timing is impossible to get right. Luckily, with the advent of refrigerators, there is no longer a wrong time to pickle cabbage. That’s the difference between romance and pickling cabbage. It’s not the only difference. But it’s one of the few where pickling cabbage wins.