Slacker & Steve's Blog

OPP: Warn His New Girlfriend

by Slacker And Steve,posted Aug 8 2013 4:25PM

Yi!

Today’s OPP comes from Candy. She writes:

Yi! I am recently divorced from an a-hole that cheated on me several times (when we were dating, engaged, and married). He also abused me when we were married. He is a habitual liar. He recently got a new girlfriend. I want to Facebook her and tell her what kind of guy she is dating and what he does to women. Should I tell her or just ignore them and let her find out herself? Also, he has been posting pics of him and her doing things he and I use to do, I think to make me jealous!
Candy

Slacker says that if the ex was just a cheater then he would tell Candy, don’t say anything, but she used the word abuse which changes things. He thinks it depends on how she uses the word abuse, some women use this word lightly. Verbal abuse is difficult because everyone has their own definition of what that is, but if it’s physical abuse Candy needs to drive to her work, facebook her, do whatever it takes to tell her.

Steve says he knows how this is going to play out. Candy’s going to warn the girlfriend, the new girlfriend will think she’s psycho and jealous, then years down the road the new girlfriend is going to call Candy for help and they are going to come together and unite against the ex. Steve thinks Candy is going to have to warn the new girlfriend for her piece of mind, and for the sake of sisterhood, but she has to understand that the new girlfriend might react by thinking she is completely crazy.

What do you think Candy should do? Should she give the new girl a heads up?

No one should have to go through what Candy put up with for all those years, and if Candy can help in making sure that doesn’t happen she absolutely should…warn the new girl!

I wish I could find your phone # to call in. My husband ex-wife warned me 1984...married him 1985. Was mentally & physically abused almost 30 years. Finally filed for divorce April last year 2012. Had last time abused May 20, 2012. Left house went in hidding until he killed himself in my backyard June 5 last year. Thank you to all the Police & Therapists that saved my life. Or I would have been home still & he would have killed me first. There is so much more I'd like to share. If I could only call Slackers & Steve. Thanks you guys for addressing this abuse issue. It's so hard to tell anyone while it's happening. Its the survivors who can try to share & help those who are living it now. And don't know how to break free.