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Sunday, August 11, 2013

Tim Lincecum Appreciation Day 2013

Wednesday marks our 5th Annual Tim Lincecum Appreciation Day! We know that you expected us to post about our trip to Busch Stadium today, but to be frank, we felt this topic infinitely more important. We knew that you'd agree with us on this subject.

We know that you're dying to know what Timmy did with us this year (besides pitching like an a$$ clown for 75% of the season) and we're more than happy to enlighten you. We started the year off with a bang by running in our underwear for the Children's Tumor Foundation.

In keeping with our new "healthy lifestyle," we also ran in the Spartan Sprint at Citi Field in April (notice how Timmy refused to hold our hand or run with us. He's a real a-hole sometimes)...

...but not before getting sh*t faced on St. Patrick's Day...

or at the Beer Festival for Serena's birthday at the Nassau Coliseum. So, apparently even though we're all living "healthy" lifestyles, none of us have quit drinking.

At the Running of the Balls, Timmy didn't feel like running, so he dressed as a testicle in order to show his support for Fred #1.

There are more pictures of us partying together, but they're extremely inappropriate to post on the World Wide Web. Timmy's publicist and our parents would be very disappointed in us if we did that.

As is typical with Tim Lincecum Appreciation Day, it's time for our "Fun Facts About Timmy" segment. Did you know...
...that Timmy pitched his first career no-hitter this year on July 13th?
...that Timmy is often mistaken for Mitch Kramer when we're out at the bars? Don't know who Mitch Kramer is? Log onto Netflix and rent Dazed and Confused.
...there is a Tim Lincecum bobblehead beer tap at Beechwood Brewing & BBQ in Long Beach, Ca that was created out of a free giveaway?
...his favorite movie is Grandma's Boy?
...that he loves Hall & Oats? He sings Sara's Smile at the top of his lungs during all of our road trips. It's embarrassing. He's a terrible singer.
...that he bought a used car from Dave Roberts? It was an 06' Mercedes CLS.
...that he and KD Lang share the same hair stylist? That's why he has such a horrible haircut. After screaming at him for his stupidity, we offered him vastly improved alternatives for his next trip to the barber: Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exhibit C, and Exhibit D.

Baseball Notes:
The Return of Alex Rodriguez and a successful hidden ball trick as performed by the Tampa Bay Rays. Want to know more? It's called The Google. It's time for us to feed now.