If there is a designer collection being showcased at Target … I say no thank you. Why? Because people who don’t like fashion or people who just crave designer labels for a ridiculously cheap price, even if it has a small “for Target” sign underneath it … ruin it for us all by hoarding it and or selling it on eBay to make a buck or two. It honestly disgusts me. I miss the days of walking into Target and being surprised by a fantastic Rodarte dress just hanging on the racks since no one knew who Rodarte was back in the day. Now it is like a God damn frenzy to get these collections and I, quite frankly, want nothing to do it with it.

I’m already preparing myself for the extreme relentless disappointment, but Target is partnering with Neiman Marcus in December to feature a collection 24 of my FAV designers. Marc Jacobs, DVF, Jason Wu, Proenza Schouler (the one I’m most excited for), Marchesa, and so many other jump up in mid-air because I’m excited-worthy designers … ahh. But again, if this collaboration had a theme song, it would probably be the fail horn from the Price is Right … already.

I’m not being a Debbie Downer about it … because if I could get my hands on some of these things, like oh I don’t know … a DVF wrap dress or a Judith Leiber clutch, I might be considered one of the happiest chicks on the planet. But having to deal with people scooping up as much Proenza Schouler as they can just because they know it’s a designer label they could sell for triple the price makes me want to vom. I’m not saying that in a pretentious way but in a way that makes me sad for people who truly do have a respect for the designer.

And would I ever slap a bitch to get the garment I wanted? Hell no. Okay maybe over actual designer clothes that happen to be marked down quite a bit … and only at Barneys. Honestly, the thought of getting into a fist fight and or verbal argument and or sleeping outside of a Target to be the first one to run at high speeds into the store when it opens makes me squirm a bit. Hello, white trash … what up. If it is meant to be yours, it will be yours … no need to pull hair, call names, and have a tug of war with the dress … for crying out loud.

My next question is … what the hell are you thinking, Neiman Marcus, partnering with Target? Neiman is high-end and endless class. Seriously their “sale” prices are things I still would have to save up for months and months to buy. And I get it, you want to make the Neiman Marcus brand obtainable to everyone in America … but the fun about Neiman is … it ISN’T obtainable. That’s the store you walk into drooling over a pair of $3,000 boots and say to yourself, “one day … I’m going to walk in here and buy these for myself … because I will be able to without living in a van down by the river after.” It’s a store for fashion dreamers … well the ones that aren’t loaded at least.

All I’m saying is … if I want Neiman Marcus and Neiman Marcus brands … I really would rather not bop down to my local Target, pick up a Marc Jacobs dress and then get some Tide because I ran out, maybe a new air freshener for my car, and oh yeah … maybe buy my cat some cat treats … and perhaps a Lean Cuisine because I’m starved. Christ. Love me some Target, don’t get me wrong, but Neiman Marcus and Target really don’t need to be in the same sentence or collaboration … ever.

And just a suggestion … since all the designers that will be shown in this collection are CFDA members, maybe … just maybe … they can do something about the eBay hoarders. Not sure what that is … but that would be awesome if they could put a stop to it. Maybe then I wouldn’t be such a negative Nancy about this whole ordeal. Am I seeing a future trendy ad campaign happening here or what?!