To Friend or Not to Friend? That is the Question.

To Friend or Not to Friend? That is the Question.

June 30, 2011

Now that Facebook has basically taken over the world, it’s hard to know the appropriate “friending” etiquette as it relates to the dating scene. I get this question all the time – “Should I friend someone after the first date if it went well?” The short and sweet of it is… no no no!

When it comes to post-date protocol, there are some choices to make for contacting your date again. Let’s break them down into four categories:
1) Texting
2) Facebook
3) Physical stuff
4) Second date and beyond

Let’s start with texting:
Who doesn’t like a nice, playful text every now and then? If you had a nice time on the date (men and women), it is perfectly acceptable to send a text that night or the next day saying, “Thanks again – I had a great time.” Assuming your date did too, it’ll put a smile on his or her face. Extra points!

Now onto the big one – Facebook:
I can’t say this strongly enough… Unless you’re already friends, do not friend your date on Facebook after the first time out together. The last thing you want is to come home from a great date and see all of his pictures with other women or her pictures with other men. No good can come of that. There’s something to be said for leaving some mystery.

Moving on to the physical stuff:
Whether or not to have that first date kiss is up to you. I say if you’re feeling it, go for it, but that’s a personal choice. Now, I’m not one to kiss and tell, so I won’t say whether Jeremy and I kissed on our first date, but as a random side note, as Jeremy was putting me in a cab to go home at the end of the night, some guy on the street yelled, “Take her home!” I never told Jeremy that I heard the guy until recently, so we both had a good laugh over it. Speaking of “taking her home,” I know this may make me seem like an old fuddy-duddy, but under no circumstances should there be anything that rhymes with rex on the first date, unless that’s the name of someone’s dog. If you do that, your whole relationship will be based on it, and that doesn’t lead to a solid foundation.

Finally, let’s discuss the second date and beyond:
We’re not 22 anymore. If you had a good time and want to go out again, it’s ok to – gasp! – tell him/her. No one’s getting any younger, so do what makes you happy. No need to wait three days to make the call. (And please call rather than text. An e-mail is ok, but a call is better.) Just don’t get so excited that you see each other every night of the week the first week and burn the relationship out too quickly. Again, there’s something to be said for leaving some mystery. And when you do go on that second date, feel free to take a peek at these date ideas.