Hitler Confirmed to Have Survived World War II!

Until yesterday, we had learned that Adolf Hitler and his wife Eva Braun committed suicide in Hitler’s Berlin bunker as Soviet troops fought only blocks away. New investigations had shown that while remains were found in the bunker, none of them was that of Hitler’s.

“The escape of Hitler had always been a myth,” said United States Federal Bureau of Investigations spokesperson Andrew Schumacher. “Today, we concluded that it was true. Artifacts recently discovered in Argentina indicated that Hitler had escaped by submarine to Argentina and lived for over 30 years.”

According to the information made public by the FBI, the case on Hitler took a backseat in the late 1940s, but it was never officially closed. Despite a very small budget, the team was able to track down several European and South American leads, ultimately finding a cellar in an unassuming house in an unnamed village some distance from the relatively remote town of Iruya in Northern Argentina. In the cellar, a metal WW2-era German Army ammunition box was found. Among the few items inside was a photo of Hitler, weary in appearance, shaking hands with a German Navy submarine captain. In the background, the presence of floss silk trees, unique to South America, is undeniable; this photograph serves as one of the key pieces of evidence of Hitler’s escape. It is hypothesized that Hitler had taken one of the final flights out of Berlin and left behind him an anonymous body double (who might had been murdered for the Soviets to discover). Via the Norwegian coast, he was taken by a submarine to Argentina.