“Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong.” Romans 14:22-23 (MSG) For the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to find a day where I could just take a break and have some “me time.” Now, that might sound strange for someone who spends sixteen to seventeen hours everyday weekday by herself. One would think I have plenty of “me time.” In reality, even though I am physically by myself for two-thirds of the day on most days except Sundays, if I spend any amount of time at work or tending to a church activity, the people and projects that I deal with in that time span get a lot of my attention even when they are not around. So, I decided a couple of weeks ago, that I needed a day for myself because I was starting to feel worn down and just out of touch. Today is that day. My not going to work today would not hinder my students’ progress or my interns progress; it would be a day that a capable substitute could handle, so I took a mental health day. I’m not sure what I am going to do with the rest of my day, but it was clear that as much as I sleep, I am not getting enough rest because my body took three extra hours this morning, despite being interrupted by my cat and my nephew. I knew that if I went much longer without some time to myself that my mind, body and spirit might be impacted, so I am glad that wisdom prevailed and I decided to take a day before I was forced to take one due to some breakdown. There are a lot of other people who are busier than I am. In addition to work, they may go to school, have children to raise, work on a lot of social or church committees, work out, socialize with friends more. And, maybe they never need a day off and good for them. It took me a long time to figure out that I should not try to be like other people or expect them to be like me. The only perfect model for behavior is Jesus Christ. When I read Romans 14, it convicted me. This chapter spoke volumes to me about my relationship with others and my relationship with God. But, the verses from yesterday’s blog and the ones above really stood out to me. We need to “cultivate [or work on our] own relationship with God, but [not] impose it on others.” This does not mean that we ought not share God with others, but that we ought not expect others to have the same relationship with God that we do. Furthermore, we need to focus on our own relationship and be sure that we are not acting inconsistently because we are too focused on others. Like I said, the minute I am around people and projects, my focus shifts to them. I am so concerned with fixing them that I do not give enough attention to what should be fixed about me. What we all really need to do it to ask ourselves, “Is the way I am living consistent with what I believe?” If we believe the Bible, the living Word of God, our lives should line up with the Word. We should not be manipulating the Word to conform to our will, but living out lives to conform to God’s Will. If we discover that we are living a life that is inconsistent with what we believe, then it is wrong. It is very difficult to make that discovery, though, if we are constantly focused on imposing our beliefs on those who we feel are worse than we are. It is hard to make that discovery when we are in the middle of projects that are designed to impose our will on others. Take some “me time” or rather “me and God time.” We need to really look at your lives and ask if it is pleasing to God. And then, here’s the kicker, listen for His answer, not our own self-righteous answers. Sure, there are people who are living deplorable lives. Yes, we should share our faith. Nonetheless, our faith can and should be shown in our walk. We need to be sure that we are living consistently with what we believe before we impose our beliefs on others and cause confusion about the God we love and serve. Ms. EV

Well, since I talked about driving yesterday, I may as well stick with that theme today. There are a lot of lessons to be learned while you are driving. For example, my mom and I were headed out the other day and I was driving. We had to make a left turn out of her neighborhood. This left turn is not an easy turn to make because it seems that traffic is always flowing steadily past the neighborhood, leaving little to no room to get on to the main road. As we approached the exit of the neighborhood, my phone beeped, so when I got to the stop sign, I checked to see who it was and if I needed to return the message while I was safely stopped. The only issue was that when I looked down at my phone, I did not realize that the coast was clear to make that left turn, and, by the time I looked up, there were cars everywhere. My mom looked at me and said, “You missed your opportunity.” We sat at the stop sign for what seemed to be a very long time, but were probably about five more minutes, waiting until the coast was clear again for a left turn. And, though we reached our destination in plenty of time, my mom’s words were stuck in my head, “You missed your opportunity.” This time, I missed it because I was distracted by my phone. But, because I only live a few minutes away from my parents’ house, there are many times when I am sitting at that intersection, needing to make that left turn, and I miss the chance to make it for another reason, like the fact that I am afraid of making left turns that are not at a light. So, it got me thinking, “How many times do we miss opportunities because we are too preoccupied or too petrified to see our opening?” These missed opportunities can occur in our dreams and goals, our relationships, and in sharing Christ. I once heard my pastor say, “Whatever breaks your focus becomes your master.” We can be on a path to greatness, but if we allow distractions into our lives, they can cause us to miss opportunities. Distractions come in many forms. Our thoughts can be distracting, which is why the Bible tells us to take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). I don’t know about anyone else, but I know that my mind is capable of coming up with all sorts of scenarios that are much worse than anything that would ever really happen. And, when I give in to those thoughts of self-pity, self-doubt, self-centeredness (notice a theme here), it does not take long before I have talked myself out of pursuing a dream or goal. Other people can be distracting. Either we focus on what others are doing and become envious of their successes, rather than being steadfast on the path that God has given us or we become so focused on other people’s issues that we stop pursuing on the dreams God has placed in our hearts. Sometimes, we are too focused on what others are telling us we should do instead of listening to God’s voice alone. The minute we take our eyes off of the end goal because of negative thoughts or negative interactions with people, we miss our opportunity. Fear is another reason we miss our opportunities. Fear is only as powerful as we allow it to be. I have missed plenty of opportunities because of fear. Looking back, as a child of God, fear has no place in my life because it is not something that God intends for His children to have (2 Timothy 1:7). When I was engaged to my ex-husband, my mom, who was and is much wiser than I am, implored me to reconsider my decision. Rather than listen to her and take that opportunity to take control of my destiny, I let fear rule. I feared that if I did not get married then, I would never get married. At that point in my life, being single forever was a fate worse than death and I could not allow that to happen. Though my marriage was short-lived, I stayed married longer than I should have because I feared what others might say or think about me. I let fear win and I missed the chance to go to law school a year earlier, and to have the entire experience as an unmarried person. I am positive that I missed some opportunities to build friendships and fully engage in my learning experience during that time because of a decision based on fear. Are there times when you have realized that you missed your opportunity? I recently had someone with whom I wanted to be in a relationship a long time ago make a comment about missing his chance with me. But, it is not just about relationships. How many times do we miss the chance to use our gifts because we are distracted? How many times do we miss the opportunity to pray for someone or tell someone about Christ because we are afraid of being dubbed a “Jesus freak?” We have to pay closer attention to God’s urging and make that turn when the coast is clear; knowing that He is not going to cause us to turn too quickly and get into an accident. However, when we miss the opportunity, He will let us sit and wait and think about it. The good news is that God is a loving God, and whatever He has for you is for you. So, even though I missed my first opportunity, I eventually made the left turn and reached my destination. In the same way, God will allow us to get to the prize that He has for us, if we will stay focused and fearless. Ms. EV

I once heard Joyce Meyer pose the question, “If Christianity were a crime, would there be enough evidence to convict you?” Now, last year, those of us who followed the Casey Anthony trial saw just how important evidence is to getting a conviction. Though, the “court of public opinion” had already convicted Ms. Anthony, twelve jurors could not find conclude, based on the evidence presented by prosecutors that she was guilty. Think about it. Does your life give witness to your commitment to Christ? This is not just about who the public sees; this is about who you are when only God is watching. Sometimes we live our lives as if Sunday is the only day that matters. We live however we want to live Monday through Saturday, but when Sunday rolls around, it is time to get everything right with God. You know the routine. At dusk, you roll over to the person who is not your spouse and tell him or her, “You don’t have to go home, but you have to get the (fill-in-the-blank) out of here! I’m going to church!” That person cannot be in your bed when the sun comes up on Sunday morning because, at times, we act like Sunday is the only day that God can see what we are doing. Once the bed is clear, we try to get some sleep, so we can stay awake in church, and be sure to give our loudest “Amens” and “Hallelujahs.” Then, we get dressed, get in the car, turn from The Beat or I Heart Radio to The Light or PURE Radio, and head to church. At church, we sing we clap our hands, and we take notes on the sermon. We live our Sunday life as holy as possible; no drinking (even though the game is on), no fussing (even if people cannot drive), no cussing (even if it is the only way to express the intensity of what you are saying) because we are remembering the Sabbath and keeping it holy. Maybe this is not your Sunday. For several years it was my Sunday. I felt like I could make up for a week’s worth of living like God didn’t exist with one day of repentant faithfulness. Perhaps, it is not literally Sunday living that you display. But, be very honest with yourself. Do you live as though God is aware of everything that you do 24/7/365? Is there enough evidence in your life to show that you are a Christian? God wants our best every single day. It is no different than what we want from the people who claim to love us. As Destiny’s Child said, “Say my name, say my name, when no one is around you, say baby I love you if you ain’t running game?” Are we trying to run game on God by putting forth a half-hearted public display of love? We would not accept that from our loved ones. Why should He accept it? We are human and we will make mistakes, but that is not an excuse to keep making the same mistakes over and over or to only live as a witness part-time. One time, my best friend and I were boarding a flight to New York. It had been a long morning. The flight was crowded. As we boarded, people kept stopping to put bags in the overhead bins, which was really annoying because they would stop and then the person behind you runs into you because that person is not paying attention. So, at some point, I started mumbling something or other under my breath in frustration. I really do not remember what I said. I honestly do not think that I cursed, but there is a possibility that I did or that the tone of what I said sounded like I did. In any case, a woman who was already seated made a comment about my griping. And so, I looked at her sweetly, and said, “Thank you for pointing that out to me. I really appreciate your candor in helping me walk according to the Word of God and the life that He would have me live.” NOT! (But I wish I had). I actually said, in a very mind-your-business-lady tone, “I didn’t curse!” because that made my behavior not seem as bad. To which, she replied, “Oh! I misheard you. I was admiring your necklace and I thought I heard you saying something, but I love your necklace.” The necklace to which she was referring was one with a cross pendant on it. It matters not what I actually said that day, so stop trying to figure it out. What mattered was that my attitude did not match the profession of faith around my neck. The physical evidence that day of my grumbling had outweighed the circumstantial evidence of my choice in jewelry. God, and everybody else, is watching us all the time. So, it is not even enough to have a public persona that looks guilty of a Christ-led life; we must also have behind the scenes evidence of our faith. Communication is the key to any relationship. Do you talk to God? Do you listen to what He has to say? Do you know what He has already said in His Word? If we say we are Christians, then we must show that we are Christians every day, all the time. It is not easy to commit fully to Christ when it means we have to change some of our habits and routines, but I am positive that suffering a crucifixion was not easy for Christ; yet He did it before we had even accepted Him. We, who proclaim Christ as Lord, should have enough evidence for an open-and-shut case on the charge of Christianity. Ms. EV

1 John 3: 18-22 (The Message) My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases Him. After writing Monday’s and yesterday’s blogs, I read these verses as part of another devotional and it was another example of how God speaks to us and how His Word is living and vital. These verses tie together my thoughts from Monday and Tuesday. These verses address loving yourself and being free to do God’s Will (worship and spreading the Gospel). Many people live their lives thinking that others are holding them down or keeping them back from love, from their dreams, from financial freedom, or whatever particular goals they have in mind. In reality, not knowing who we are in Christ, not loving and valuing ourselves is what holds us back. For some people, past hurt caused by others has led to us devaluing ourselves, but when it comes down to it the only person who can truly hold you back is you. The verses say that practicing real love, the love that Christ displayed and God expects, is the only way to live in God’s reality. It is the only way to experience the abundant life God has planned for us. In order to practice that kind of love, we must not only love God, but we need to give ourselves a break. Loving ourselves and knowing our place in God’s Kingdom will quickly shut down the voices that say, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’re not smart enough,” or “You’re not pretty enough.” I love the way The Message Bible says it; this is “debilitating, self-criticism.” It literally paralyzes us and prevents us from being who God intends for us to be. But, once you move past the past, you can be free to live a life full of love; you can walk in God’s purpose for your life. You can practice His two great commands. First, you can love Him with everything you have. I have heard it said how can you love a God that you haven’t seen, but have hatred for your sisters and brothers? But, I will take it a step further. How can you love a God you have never seen when you cannot love the person you see in the mirror everyday? You can’t show love until you know love. God is love and if He loves you enough to die for you, then you can cut yourself a little slack; not a license to live any kind of way amount of slack, but respect yourself and believe God when He says that you are His. Once, you do you are free to worship in Spirit and Truth, and there is great power in that kind of praise.Then, after you learn to truly worship Him, you can love others as you love yourself by sharing the Gospel. I am not sure that I have been in love with anyone other than my family and Christ. Nevertheless, I have thought that I was in love and been around people in love. So, I know that when you fall deeply for someone, you can’t help but tell everyone how that person has impacted your life. That is the same attitude that we should have about sharing God’s Word. It is not about quoting Scriptures; it is about the exuberant expressions of a lovesick, blood-bought, grace-receiving child of God. God commands us to love others, but you cannot possibly love someone truly if you hide God from that person. This is what pleases Him; living a life of love. So, forgive yourself, know your value, and live in love. Ms. EV

Sharing the Faith - No matter who you are, you can share your faith in Jesus. Take the Woman at the Well as an example. Once she met Jesus, she couldn't help, but spread the Gospel. “Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian.” ― D.L. Moody

John 4:28-30 (The Message): The woman took the hint and left. In her confusion she left her water pot. Back in the village she told the people, "Come see a man who knew all about the things I did, who knows me inside and out. Do you think this could be the Messiah?" And they went out to see for themselves. … 39-42 - Many of the Samaritans from that village committed themselves to him because of the woman's witness: "He knew all about the things I did. He knows me inside and out!" They asked him to stay on, so Jesus stayed two days. A lot more people entrusted their lives to him when they heard what he had to say. They said to the woman, "We're no longer taking this on your say-so. We've heard it for ourselves and know it for sure. He's the Savior of the world!"

This Woman was the Wrong Kind of PersonShe was a woman and a Samaritan. Yet, she did not take on the defeatist attitude that many adopt that says, "I’m a minority; nothing I do can ever be as good." She had a bad relationship track record, but she did not say, "I’m divorced (or single) how can I speak about love?" She took what she knew and she shared it with others.

This Woman had the Wrong Kind of PastShe was a sexually immoral person. Think of the kind of names would we call this woman today -- maybe not out loud--but what would people think of her? Are you too worried about people to focusing on who you were or do you want them to know who you are? My pastor always says, "Satan deals in your past, God deals in your future." and, "When Satan starts attacking your past, it’s because he’s running out of ammunition." Plus, this woman was not the first of her kind. God used others just like her. Remember, Rahab the prostitute, she saved her whole family by helping the Israelite spies in Jericho. (Joshua 2) and she became part of the lineage of Jesus. This doesn’t mean that you should not value your body as a gift, and save yourself for marriage, but it does mean that, even if you have made mistakes, all it takes is one decision to change your life and grow in God, and He can use you for amazing miracles.

This Woman had the Right Kind of Persuasion - Know your value. You don’t have to hide your life to give a testimony - It’s not about how many Scriptures you know; it’s about how much of the goodness of God you know. God can use anybody. He used Pharaoh to get Israel out of Egypt; He used Saul to help David to the throne; He used Satan himself to get Job to a higher place of praise, and no matter what you have done, you have got nothing on Satan, so let God use you. Your testimony can simply be, "Come see a man who knows everything about me, and He loves me, He saved me, and He keeps me from falling.

I have done a lot that I’m not proud of, but when I think of all the things I didn’t do, places I didn’t go, and people I didn’t encounter because of God’s grace, all I can say is:

Amazing Grace shall always be my song of praiseFor it was grace that bought my liberty I do not know just how He came to love me soHe looked beyond my faults and saw my needsI shall forever life mine eyes to CalvaryTo view the cross where Jesus died for meHow marvelous the grace that caught my falling soulHe looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.

If this Samaritan woman can lead others to Christ, why should be so ashamed of ourselves that we cannot share our faith with others? Or is it that we are not ashamed of ourselves, but ashamed of the Gospel? Ms. EV