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Dear “Casting”, I’m glad you wrote to me before talking to this lady because you should not ever say the thing about how you’re “casting a female lead for your story” in a breakup conversation unless you want to be made fun of for decades, like the guy in college who told me that I wasn’t quite “First Lady Material*” after a private tour of the White House with his bigwig donor family, less than a month into dating him, on Valentine’s Day.