Why the Rupee is falling

Over the past few months, the rupee has been in a long, slow decline against the US dollar, and the exchange rate currently stands close to 56 rupees to the dollar.

Over the past few months, the rupee has been in a long, slow decline against the US dollar, and the exchange rate currently stands close to 56 rupees to the dollar. Many of us have lost sight of this because of more important matters like the IPL or Satyamev Jayate, but I have researched this important matter closely, and am confident that I have found the true reasons for this.

Read on to find out why our economy is performing badly vs. the US economy.

1. Because petrol deserves a century: Recently, Sachin scored the century of centuries against Bangladesh. Looking at this, people in both the USA and India were envious of the price of petrol in India, and felt that it too should reach Rs. 100 some day. To accelerate this process, they both agreed that they would contribute to the weakening of the rupee against the dollar, so that the exchange rate itself would drive the price of petrol up.

And you’ve seen the results - a Rs. 7.5 price increase just a few days ago. At this rate, the petrol century will come quickly, and will soon become a double century!

2. Because of The Avengers: If you’ve followed the box office, you will know that The Avengers is poised to become the third highest grossing movie of all time in a day or two. This seems innocent enough, but there is a deep plot behind it. Hollywood came together to make the best possible movie that they could to boost the American economy. While we made Agent Vinod, and thereby contributed to the weakening of our economy versus the Americans’.

3. Because of Facebook: Facebook continues to dominate the online space, with no signs of a slowdown in sight. But this too is a tool of the US Government. The people in the US have had facebook for longer, and they have become used to the time waste that it causes - they have developed some immunity to this. Whereas we are still discovering it as a nation; every day thousands of Indians sign up for facebook, and become introduced to the loss of productivity that it causes.

The math is simple. You have a country that loses productivity, and one that doesn’t. Obviously one of the currencies is going down!

4. Because of Team India: Everything in India is correlated with cricket. The weather, people’s moods, everything depends on how well our national cricket team does. And we haven’t really done too well in the past 8 months. If you draw a graph of the Indian team’s performance post April 2, 2011, and the rupee exchange rate - they will be perfect mirror images of each other.

5. Because of summer: Summer in India makes it near-impossible to work between 11 AM and 1 PM. Think of the lakhs of couriers that don’t get sent because it’s too hot; think of the bills that are paid late because the vertical sun was more scary. We lose two hours of business activities a day in the summer months, while people in many places in the US think it’s hot if it exceeds 25 degrees. And their summer doesn’t even start till ours is over. The answer for our rupee woes is simple: it’s too hot here!

And now, for the real reason:

6. Because of scams: Scams in India don’t earn that name easily. They have to cost the state more than a lakh crore first. Whereas scams in the US can be scams even if they cost the state $1000. With Coalgate rearing its ugly head this year and god knows how many others simmering below the surface, our currency is well poised to reach its highest levels yet, despite every government assurance to the contrary.