UN Refuses Qatar a “u”

The tiny gulf state of Qatar will not be allowed an extra “u” by the United Nations to bring it in line with standard spelling procedure. Despite enormous oil and gas reserves and unparalleled wealth, the country still complains that in terms of its name, it’s still in “The Dark Ages”.

“Without a “u”, the country just looks like an anomaly,” said government spokesman Sheikh Assan Al Khafji. It’s also understood that Qatar’s envy of nearby Kuwait plays a part in the desire for a name change. “It is true that we wanted to emulate Quwait, which makes a point of emphasising its “u” to annoy us.’ said Al Khafji. “But when the UN allowed Quwait a special “K” to become Kuwait, we responded by saying this is just infair.”

In a statement, the UN explained that for it to give Qatar its U would mean that the UN would be forced to become just the “N”. “The United Nations cannot afford to lose that unique status. All other international bodies of our size and profile have multiple initials. Bodies like UNESCO and NATO can afford to drop a letter. And they could also join forces to become UNATESCO, combining military strategy, education and great prices on a selected range of deodorants this week.” The statement was ratified by secretary Bank I Moo, who announced in a separate matter that people born in Tasmania do not officially have to be called Tasmaniacs.