Jul

8

I recently did some tongue-lolling, finger-counting math and realized that when Riley was about the same age Dylan is now—a little older, but not much—I was newly pregnant. I found this so hard to believe I actually had to go back to my own blog to check the dates because surely I was forgetting a year or two in there? I mean, there’s no way in hell I actually got pregnant on purpose when I was already spending my every waking hour chasing a squirrel-cheeked WMD around, right? But it’s true, I DID, and not only that, but it took me several months months to get knocked up, so the even crazier part is that we started gunning for WMD #2 when Riley was, like, barely walking.

I’m not sure why I can barely wrap my head around this concept. Maybe it’s that life with two kids is so much harder than one, or maybe it’s that I know we’re done now and the entire notion of pregnancy has moseyed back into the realm of Oh HELL No, but looking back on that choice from this perspective is like fondly recalling that one time I decided to climb Everest. Without oxygen. Naked.

Which is to say, I can’t believe my husband wasn’t kissing my ass every second of every day during that second pregnancy (theme: No One Gives a Shit About Your Myriad Physical Complaints This Time), because that was some hardcore shit right there. If I think raising a tiny demented toddler is brain-searingly difficult now, I’ve totally blocked out the experience of doing so while my body was also busy, you know, creating an entirely new human being. I never properly appreciated my ability to multi-task, nor did I take the time to congratulate myself for surviving what was surely a near-deadly combination of life’s blessings.

I’m sure there will come a point when I miss having little babies, and maybe even wistfully long for the riotous flatulence of pregnancy, but these days I am leaning closer towards the sweet nature of my boys growing up. I feel like I keep getting a glimpse of what’s to come, and there’s this whole amazing new landscape to be discovered. If it wasn’t exactly the easiest path to get here, I’m still so glad we took it. I’m sure it will always be hard, I’m sure there will be a thousand new challenges in our future. But for every moment thus far that’s shaken me to my core with happiness, I suspect the best times are still to come.

Comments

66 Responses to “New vistas”

sharon on
July 9th, 2009 8:28 am

My boys are 4 1/2 and 8 and yes, the times to come are very good. Especially when you’re done with diapers and naps and schedules. They play (and fight) together and it’s great. It’s sometimes sad to see the baby stage go, but most of the time I’m glad they’re little boys now and not babies.

I’m due in October, and my due date is also my son’s second birthday. Your third paragraph hit SO close to home and made me laugh, I plan on printing it out and keeping it nearby for quick moral support. Thanks!

I always wanted kids close together. When my oldest was growing up alone, w/o a Daddy I often wished that he could have another little one to play with. By the time she came along he was 7 and couldn’t care less…I was so done – but mother nature wasn’t. Now I have days of loving my two little girls being this close and days of hating them being this close…I guess that’s normal though :D

My mom was pregnant ALL THE TIME when I was growing up. Like, she had my sister (which was the kind of horrific pregnancy you would have thought would make her swear off child-bearing altogether), had me a year later, had my first brother less than two years after me, had my second brother two and a half years after THAT, had my sister LESS THAN A YEAR after THAT, …. and so on through eleven pregnancies (two miscarriages and nine births). We took the fact that she always seemed to be either pregnant or nursing completely for granted, in what in retrospect was a horrifically heartless way. “Oh, Mom’s throwing up everything she eats, and has been for the past two months? So… what else is new?”

I don’t know how she did it. My mom’s personal convictions (the operative one here being “If I don’t personally repopulate the planet I am a bad, bad person and am going to hell”… I guess) have always won out over mere reality. I respect her for that at least, even if I disagree with 95% of her philosophy.

Anyhoo, the fact that women ever willingly get pregnant with the first child is already mysterious to me. Getting pregnant a second time just blows my mind. Kudos. Kids are insane. You’re awesome.

Oh my gosh… I love that picture. i need to try and recreate it with my own boys. hahahahaha…. thud… sorry just fell off my chair laughing at that idea, since my 4yo doesn’t even like to be in the same room with his little brother, let alone walk together with him holding hands. Funny, I am…

But I’m with on watching them grow up. That’s my favorite part of being a mom and why I had kids in the first place. I’m not so big on the tiny babies and I abhored being pregnant (means to an end, baby, means to an end). But I do love watching them turn into little people and bigger little people…

telegirl on
July 9th, 2009 11:01 am

Sweet Jesus! I am almost right where you were. We are 5 1/2 months pregnant and have an almost 2 1/2 year old; we also tried for several months to get pregnant with baby #2. My problem is that my husband works out of town during the week so I’m by myself doing day-to-day life. This is so hard!! But, if the payoff will be a picture just like the one you took, I think I can survive this.

My sister and I are 22 months apart, and while that has been awesome, BOTH of us, when our kids got to the age I was when my mom got pregnant with her (WHAT? Can you even FOLLOW this sentence?), were like, OH HELL NO on the thought of a second pregnancy. I still can’t believe that SO MANY PEOPLE are willing and able to do it that way. Whoa. Near-deadly combination of life’s blessing is right. (GENIUS, BTW).

I’m Done with the “you will miss your teeny wittle babieeees!” thing. My kid keeps getting older, and older, and so far I can’t help but notice that I DO NOT MISS IT AT ALL, YEP I’M SURE.

I too am at the HELL NO stage, although my boys are 12 and 7. So I’ve been at that stage for quite a while. But I cannot imagine having them so close together. But having them far apart is no picnic either. I remember when my second was born thinking, “What have I done? Kid number 1 is 5 years old, and pretty much self-sufficient! Now I’ve got to do it all over again???”

I’m pregnant with #2 – 3rd trimester and have a 3 year-old at home. I couldn’t imagine doing this when the 3 year old was 18 months. I now need another helping of food and a nap just thinking about it.

For some reason, I thought I’d want to have my second when my first was about 2. Just realized last week, that means getting pregnant this fall. As in like 2 months from now. Not happening. But I had a scare last week and I was really freaking out about it like, how am I going to do this??? This post is so sweet, it’s like, you just do. Because you love them.

My boys are 15 months apart and boy was it crazy when they were babies- such a whirlwind, such busyness. Now, they are 5 and almost 4- getting so independent, fighting all the time- but absolutely the best buddies. Makes for a pretty special bond!