Niklas Hjalmarsson of the Chicago Blackhawks suffered a great indignity on Monday night … not only did he have to sit in the penalty box, he had to watch the Vancouver Canucks Green Men pull off a terrible magic trick. Sorry, Niklas, next time we’ll try to get you tickets to Celine Dion. (via NIS)

Amount of times Chicago has rioted after losing in the Stanley Cup Finals: zero.

Amount of times Vancouver has rioted after losing in the Stanley Cup Finals: two, and probably counting.

Amount of times Vancouver fans have complained about how there’s a grand league conspiracy against them and how it’s the only reason why they haven’t won a Stanley Cup: not enough numbers in existence to count.

Dear NHL, the green men said they would go away as soon as the Canucks win the Stanley Cup. Please, for the love of God, please rig the playoffs (like you have been doing since Betteman has been in power) and let the Canucks win the Cup so these shitheads who go to the games for free because their daddy owns a ton of clubs will disappear.