29 October 2016

The Funky Indian

It’s fair to say that Sunderland and I aren’t what you would call best mates.

It was never personal, I can assure you. My previous criticism of the city has been based on pure, professional amazement that a population of some 175,000 is so poorly served when it comes to eating out.

After the latest disappointment, a two star let-down at the still shiny Karbon Grill, I asked the Twittersphere why Sunderland had no good eateries. The place went mad – it seems the place doesn’t just have a chip on its shoulder, it has a whole bag of them, slathered in cheese and served with a bottle of blue pop.

“Man’s a TIT!!” shouted Richard Gray on Facebook, garnering two likes for his troubles, while Bryan Hopper likened me to a more masculine part of the anatomy. Six likes for that.

Anna Crosbie was more philosophical: “People just can’t help but be negative towards others. It’s like a poison”.

It’s a cruel world Anna, as I was finding out.
Being persona non grata in the city, I returned under cover of darkness, and decided to visit one place that a couple of my more constructive critics had said would change my view. It’s called The Funky Indian.

So, Sunderland: please consider the following words a sort of peace offering, an act of detente. The Funky Indian has become my second recommended restaurant in your city.

I like the idea of Indian tapas. As Britain broadens its tastebuds from pure Anglo-Bangla to some proper regional Indian cooking, it’s almost absurd to wrap up the ridiculously wide range of flavours and styles available in that huge sub-continent with a single word “Indian”. Any chance to sample a range of dishes from across the country is fine by me. I took the tapas tour.

The restaurant at The Funky Indian is down a spiral staircase from the Prosecco bar above, and a lively and colourful space it is too. Chairs are covered with richly-coloured printed fabrics, an actual rickshaw sits to one end of the bar and the walls are replete with Bollywood posters.

Amritsari machhi was two flakey chunks of cod in a pleasantly spiced crisp batter served with aioli. I’ve never been offered cod in Amritsar, which is about as far from the sea as it’s possible to get in India – there I’ve had this dish with kingfish, which travels better. But I have had lots of battered cod in Sunderland, and this was a rather good version.

Mumbai’s Juhu Beach is definitely on the sea, but this funky version of its classic street dish pav bhaji contained spiced peas, carrots and sweetcorn, a combination that gave it the taste, and perfect shape, of the frozen stuff that used to be spooned out onto school lunch plates. That is not a compliment, but I’ll take my nostalgia where I can get it. It was served, properly, with a grilled bap (called pav, pronounced POW - but the whole dish could have done with more ZAP).

Best of the starters was a slightly smutty but very tasty dish of Manchurian bhai. This Indo-Chinese classic with cauliflower makes fine use of stickily reduced soy sauce.

The next round of dishes included some very solid performers. Butter chicken (invented in the Moti Mahal restaurant in Old Delhi) was rich and soothing as it ought to be, with the slight tang of tomatoes and charred but tender meat to boot. Dhabewala lamb was cooked in a murky but moreish spinach gravy while a dal packed with cream and butter tasted about as decadent as something can when it has black lentils at its heart.

Beef burritos were a bit odd, but that was pretty much why we ordered them, so fair enough. Their beef was at least slow-cooked down to a spoonable consistency. A garlic naan was a perfectly enjoyable and nicely leopard-spotted scoop for what remained of the various sauces.

Two things prevented the Funky Indian from becoming the first Mackem gaff to earn four stars from me. The first was the solitary pudding they had available, which was a complete dud of a cheesecake.

I’m not saying they bought it in, but it tasted like they had. The thing had a base so limp and flaccid I felt embarrassed for it.

The second is the fact that the spicing and flavours felt a bit one-note through all the savoury dishes. More acidity here, a flash more chilli there, perhaps. There just wasn’t quite enough depth or variety in the dishes we tried to seal the deal. But we’d certainly return to try the biryani, malai kofta and their aloo papadi chaat.

Service was charming from both the waitress and barman that we spoke to, and I enjoyed a very passable glass of house Merlot for a bargain £4.50.

Talking of bargains, The Funky Indian was, at the time of our visit at least, offering three courses (1 tapas dish each, followed by a further two plus rice, then pudding) for £15.

As if I hadn’t already given you enough reasons to try it out, it seems this is also a restaurant with a conscience. Profits from the business go towards providing training for young people with special needs to get into the hospitality sector. More power to them.

However, two places do not a restaurant scene make. I’ve been told Asiana and Arabesque are worth a look, so they’re now on the list.
But while we’re all getting along so brilliantly, let me ask Sunderland directly: where else can you recommend?

14 comments:

Speaking as a Sunderland 'foodie' (aka glutton!), aside from the aforementioned D'Acqua and Funky Indian, the one that springs to my mind is Angelo's in Sunniside.

It's largely traditional Italian fare, but it does the classics better than any other in the town, along with a few more creative and original numbers. The chef has apparently won Best Italian Chef in England two years on the bounce too, so it's not just me who thinks it's worth a shout!

Seen as you yourself are a secret diner I hardly feel it is fair to delete an anonymous comment when they are giving valid recommendations! Maybe it's due to the unprofessional way you have name dropped people who have said negative comments about you when you are so quick to be negative in the first place. I personally am proud of the food scene in Sunderland & feel the variety & standard is brilliant. Think you should of tried more restaurants before you were so quick to generalise a whole city!! D'Aqua is without a doubt deserving of 5 stars & yes Arabesque & Asianna are of the same high standard, people will stop crediting your opinion soon if you don't start acting more professional & less childish. Delete this comment if you would like but I feel I am only wanting to give constructive feedback without the playground back stabbing.

The reason is: I want to have honest opinions from real diners, not have restaurants promoting themselves with fake "reviews", like they do on TripAdvisor. That's why I ask for people to say either why they recommend a place (it's fairly easy to spot the fakes), and/or identify themselves. A list of restaurants in Sunderland is not terribly useful - particularly from an Anonymous person who thinks that D'Acqua, good as it is, is worth 5 stars. It isn't. See the Ratings criteria section of this site, which I've used for the last 200+ reviews over the past 5 years. All restaurants are judged against this standard.

Sunderland is a bit of let down in dining. I have lived here two years now (moved from Toronto) and I have been to D'Aqua once for a anniversary meal. It was okay but if that's the fanciest place in Sunderland to dine, the bar is most certainly low. I have also dined at Karbon Grill for another special occassion and the service and the food is not up to standard either. They are attempting to be like a North American steak house with a la carte sides but their service and food have completely missed the mark. There are lots of nice casual dining places in and around Sunderland but if you are looking for a special dining experience, you will have to look elsewhere.

About The Secret Diner

Since 2011, The Secret Diner has covered every good restaurant (and some not so good) in the North East and beyond.
He pays for his own meals in full (unless stated otherwise), does not reveal his identity and comments on what he finds during a single visit. He has eaten in many of the world's finest restaurants. Now his mission is to discover, encourage and promote good cooking in Newcastle, Gateshead, Northumberland, County Durham, North Yorkshire and The Borders.
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