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22 thoughts on “Getting the Most From 5 People in Your Past”

If I could change something about the past, I would have moved faster against problems I sensed/observed. I’m convinced that time is our friend in healing, but our enemy in diagnosis. Bottom line, when you sense/see something wrong, get after it….

Great post Dan. I love the messages from your past. For me, I would add two. First stop making excuses for other people. I did a lot of this in my past. I’d reason why someone did it did not do something instead of holding them accountable. Second don’t get too comfortable or settle. We owe it to ourselves and others to be the best we can be, do the most we can do even if it means leaving the small safe pond.

Our past becomes our guiding light if we choose to correct our mistakes and nurture the lessons. The future is what we are blessed with if we follow the guidelines till we are called to a better place.

This is a fantastic exercise! My freshman English teacher in college had us do something similar, it was so incredibly uplifiting, perhaps I will revisit that exercise very soon! Many new people have been encountered since I wrote that paper a decade ago.

One of the best ways that I have found to deal with past mistakes and hurts is to 1) realize that we will all go through times of trial and hurt, and 2) the best way to deal with these things is to look for the redeeming aspect of the event. In some cases, that redeeming aspect is that we will develop empathy for those going through the same event, and will be able to help them overcome and achieve greater success and contentment in this life.

Don’t forget that we have to be able to forgive ourselves for past mistakes or we carry them forward into the present. Forgive yourself so that you can forgive others, process the mistake, learn from it, and become a stronger and a better more informed you . Sometimes easier said then done. I find I have to change they way I am thinking about it and be willing to own it to get there. Thanks Dan.

This is a sticky one for me.
Part of the past for me is related to trauma & abuse.
Those are some what “in another league” when it comes to impact & how to relate to / treat those with that in their past.
Curious if there are any active posts or forums or resources folks know of about leaders over coming past trauma relative to the future success of their endeavors?
All in all a good discussion, just wondering about some of the more intense gradations of past issues etc.

This is an amazing post, Dan. I couldn’t help to think about how much social media sometimes bring unwelcome people back into our lives–that high school “friend” who was never very nice to you, but seems to have forgotten that and “likes’ everything you do; or that coworker who made everyone in the office miserable suddenly wants to be your “friend.” There is an artificiality about becoming “friends” with people you had relegated to a past with which you had finally made peace.