Wednesday, December 30, 2009

As we await more icky, nasty, ugly weather, I thought I'd post my favorite picture of The Prince. Which is what we call him around here.
Tomorrow we leave for Southern Maine to stay in a Vacation Villa for two nights. It comes complete with two bedrooms, a full kitchen and dining room a washer and dryer AND two bathrooms. The great part is the indoor swimming and for me the hot tub. It also offers a large game room. My kids are stoked and I'm almost ready.
I've been cleaning like a mad woman. I started doing laundry yesterday morning at 6am. and my last load went in the dryer at 11pm last night. Damn! That was a pile of dirty laundry. I have no idea how it got so out of hand. Thank goodness it's done. I just stopped to take a break now to say Hi to you and get out of the bleach fumes I've created in the bathroom. My eyes are a burnin.
It's colder than a nun's vagina here right now. It's -6 with a wind that's whippin all around. It takes your breath away. I'm surprised the dogs penis hasn't froze off. Brrrrr
I'll post some pictures of our "Villa" tomorrow or Friday.
If I don't do it before the ball drops I want to wish all of you A Very Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Marian thought long and hard as to what she was going to get Chrissy for Christmas. It took her until 1:00pm Christmas Eve Day to figure it out. Then we had to do a mad dash to Walmarts to hopefully get it.First before I say anything else, let me tell you this. Chrissy has a severe crush on Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers. She has a picture of him in a frame and recently Marian came to me and told me Chrissy kisses him good morning every day. I feel like a traitor telling you this. My girl crush was on Shawn Cassidy. I loved him.So, we get Chrissy's gift and get the darn thing wrapped and Chrissy bounces off the walls trying to guess what it is. She was so excited to open this gift she had Kadie help her.

What this picture doesn't show well is how very red Chrissy's little face is. She tried to look cool when she saw it, but couldn't quite pull it off.

Nick Jonas is the one on the right. Keven is on the left. He just got married. He saved his virginity for his wife. That's all I'll say about that. (say that in a Forrest Gump voice)

This is what I got from my sister in law. Money included. Bless her heart! What a cool gift.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

I don't know if I should Hug these two or HATE these two. I have always stated my hatred for video games. They are for vidiots. Last Wednesday, Kadie and Grand Master came up to have dinner and give the girls their Christmas presents. Kadie was going to be home for Christmas but Grand Master was going to his parents and he wanted to see the girls open their gifts.
You can't even imagine the chaos the ensued when the kids opened the packages and realized they had got a Wii. They rolled on the floor, laughing, squealing and singing. I have video, but it doesn't do it justice.
Grand Master quickly set everything up and he and K-Dog quickly played the boxing game.

Then Dane and Mimi had to get in on the action. I quickly realized that something(s) in my living room are going to get broken. Sigh.

Don't you just love a little guy in white boxer briefs and a tee shirt! He kept yelling, "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" He really wanted to kick Mimi's backside.

Chrissy decided to join in and had time to drop a quick fake fart on her brothers head. After all if you stick your head near a butt, your asking to be farted on.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

I really dislike having my picture taken and usually run from the camera. But I'm posting this one to let you see what has happened over the past few months. Do you see the black all around my eyes? It's not make up. It's called not sleeping. It's called falling asleep and dreaming things no one should ever dream so you lay awake the rest of the night.By the way, I'm making Dane his oatmilk. It's the only thing he really likes for breakfast. I don't know why but he refuses to call it oatmeal.I haven't been in the Christmas spirit this year. I think I've lost my Christmas Mojo. I do have 99% of my shopping finished and everything pretty much is wrapped. Which is awesome for me. Normally I shop Christmas Eve Day. I really do. Ask anyone who loves me that lives out of town if they get gifts before or after Christmas. They will all tell you after. I secretly wish we could celebrate Christmas on New Years. Think of the deals you could get!I know the real reason for Christmas and try very hard to remember it's not about what's under the tree. Speaking of the real reason for Christmas, we have been trying to find a new cake recipe for Baby Jesus's Birthday Cake. Anyone have any ideas? Does anyone have a good Red Velvet Cake Recipe? Is Red Velvet Cake even good? Let me know. Please and Thank You.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Our girls started basketball a few weeks ago. Two practices each during the week and games at noon on Saturday. So that's four nights a week playing basketball, Two games on Saturday (at the same time at different schools) plus choir which is twice a week. No my kids don't socialise. We had been sailing through everything just fine. Choir is out at 5:30 swing around McDick's for nuggies, drive twenty minutes to the school to get which ever kid who has practice their on time. Watch kid practice, write notes so I can explain what pivot means and free throw and travel. (This is our first year playing.)Tuesday night, Dave and Chrissy brought Mimi to practice. I got to stay home with Dane. I had big plans for my hour. Do some dishes, put Dane to bed, paint my toenails, braid the hair under my arms. (Remember, we homeschool, we don't shave and we wear denim jumpers.) Actually, I as I was getting Dane some jammies from upstairs and talking to Kadie on the phone, I noticed how icky dirty the stairs were. It looked like the girls took cocoa upstairs and spilled some on every step as they went up them. So on my way back down I grabbed a wet rag and started to wash them as I went. Are you bored yet? This is real life baby. Half way down the phone beeped in I had another call. Sigh. I hate when that happens. Being in the middle of something and having to stop to answer the other line.

Phone: Ring Ring or beeeeep beeepMe: Hello (said with a HUGE sigh like I'm put out)Dave: Hey, Marian's hurt.Me: Hurt how, you just fuc83n got there.Dave: No, she's really hurt, I'm on my way to the Fire Station with her. I think her shoulder is dislocated. Bye. Click

Oh MY WORD!!!!!!!!!I stand in shock then think, Fire Department? What? I call a neighbor to come sit with Dane. I forget to call Kadie back. I race to the Fire Department. When I get their they are finishing up. They didn't think her shoulder was dislocated, just badly jammed.

Upon getting home I find out that the kids had just started practice and were running to the other end of the court where Marian slipped in water that had come in off another child's feet. Her feet went up over her head and she came down on her shoulder. Ouch.

She looked pretty pathetic. Huh? Trust me, she got A LOT of attention. The next day I took her to the doctor and we did an ex-ray. She had some serious swelling of the clavicle. But nothing was broke, cracked or out of place. Thank you Baby Jesus!

What she did get was a nifty sling to wear. She's supposed to wear it for a week so she doesn't forget her arm is hurt and do something to really hurt it. So far she's worn it on the way home from the doctors office and this picture. She keeps talking about how cool it is and how it will make a great Halloween costume.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sunday afternoon we got a snowstorm. I didn't even know it was supposed to snow. I was surprised when everyone else knew except for me and Dave. How did we miss this? Once we left the party we had a twenty five minute ride to get to Chrissy to her Youth Group Christmas Party. If it hadn't been a party I would have told her that we were just going home. It was a party after all. And since we home school and our kids don't socialise at all I felt it was very important for her to be their. SNORT!!! Once we dropped her off we headed for home. I wasn't driving I was riding shotgun. Or riding bitch. What exactly does that mean? I heard it on a movie once.

Once we got home, I got to get behind the wheel and head back into Church to pick Chrissy up from Youth Group. I know, crazy! A normally fifteen to eighteen minute ride turned into a thirty minute ride. My van is like a Billy Goat. It just goes. I've never used studded snow tires. Just good all weather tires. I didn't hydroplane one time.

On the way home Chrissy took these pictures. She wanted to show everyone how we couldn't see very well.

We are on the interstate. Notice how you don't see any other headlights or taillights. I think we were the only morons out and about.The things we do for love.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

You know, it's not easy to home school your children. You have to put up with certain things that a teacher in a school system doesn't have to put up with. I think it's because your own children know how far they can go. Mine go far. Sometimes too far. It's okay though. I'm determined to do this thing called homeschooling. At least until I snap. Then I might have to spend some time in jail.

This morning we were having a great morning. We were humming through our work. The girls were not pulling each others hair or spitting in each others faces. They were being quiet and reading chapter three and four of Where The Red Fern Grows.

That is when Chrissy told me that Dane was too quiet. I told her to mind her own business and read. It was nice and quiet. I thought Dane was watching Blue's Clue's. Chrissy wouldn't let up. "You know he's into something." "I think he's in the kitchen." "You really need to check on him before he gets hurt." I about snapped. Honestly I told her. Your not his mother. He's fine! DO YOUR WORK AND STOP MOTHERING YOUR BROTHER!

About three seconds later I heard a dish crash in the sink. Sigh.

You know, I've been working hard in the morning to make sure the kids get up early and get ready for the day. They get up and eat. Then they shower, get dressed and brush their teethe. We are good to go in case the Home school police come to see if we really do get out of bed during the day.

So I tell the girls to keep reading then practice their Tin Whistles and I race into the kitchen.

This is what I find. Notice the steak knife?

Apparently you have to be naked to used a steak knife to make yourself a peanut butter and fluff sandwich.

Not only that but you have to get Fluff all over your clean body. Yum, naked buns on my kitchen counter. Do you see that KNIFE!!!!!!!!
When I first came into the kitchen he was licking it.
Nope, no Mother OF The Year Award here.

In a large bowl mix the first 6 ingredients the add the rest and mix well.
Pour into a 13x9x2 inch dish and cover.
Bake at 375 degrees for 1 and 45 minutes to 2 hours (when beef and veggies are soft)

I am not a chef. Or a photographer. I do like to eat. I forgot to take a picture as soon as this came out of the oven. I was too hungry.

I snapped a picture of some stew in a bowl and realized that this is the ugliest bowl in the house. I bought these at the Dollar Store for the girls to eat cereal out of. That way I wouldn't care if they got broke.
I hope you try this recipe it's delicious!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

This is what we have to except tomorrow. By the time it's finished the girls will be able to go skiing:) All I can think of is digging out. AGH. This is a picture of the girls a few years ago.

A piece of advice for everyone who this will be affecting: STAY HOME!!!!!

Wednesday: Snow likely, mainly after 10am. The snow could be heavy at times. Cloudy, with a high near 30. Northeast wind 6 to 9 mph increasing to between 15 and 18 mph. Winds could gust as high as 33 mph. Chance of precipitation is 70%. New snow accumulation of 7 to 11 inches possible.

Wednesday Night: Snow showers. Low around 30. Breezy, with a northwest wind 17 to 20 mph decreasing to between 6 and 9 mph. Chance of precipitation is 90%. New snow accumulation of 1 to 3 inches possible

Sunday, December 6, 2009

We have been looking for games to play with the kids. I have to let you in on a secret, a secret that a homeschool mother should never admit to. I hate games. I mean really hate them. I can't sit still long enough to play them. They bore me. I'd rather do laundry. I'd rather get my eyes poked out with needles. You get the picture?
Except this game. When Dave asked where we could buy one, I thought it would be easy. They must still make the. Right? I mean they still make Monopoly (the most boring game of all).
Guess what!? They don't make it anymore. Sure you can still bid on them with EBAY. You can buy one new in a box for $179.00 off Amazon. But I think the most disturbing thought I have about this whole thing is the game came out in 1978. Holy Moly I'm old.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Two weeks ago while we were in the throws of H1N1 and sick as dogs, Dave (lucked out) had to go on a business trip to Omaha. I had big plans for while he was away. I was finally going to paint the hall and fix the stairs. It didn't work out. What did happen (because something always does) is I got the shit scared out of me and made it impossable for me to go to bed at night until he came home. Before I go on with telling what happened, I first must say that this door (the one the chairs leaning against) has been in this house waaaay before we lived here. What you don't see is the holes at the top of the door showing where someone punched the door many times. I used to hide the holes with calenders and pictures but after awhile I just said screw it. Now I stare at it and wonder what kind of man would punch a door? I also wonder if he was kind of whimpy because I think I could throw a better punch.
Now on to the story.
As most of you know, we have an outdoor wood boiler. That means I have to go outside to fill the wood boiler. It really is not a big deal. With the exception of not having very good lighting in the barn where the wood is stacked. I'm a big scaredy cat and hate to put wood in the stove after dark. Dave on the other hand doesn't think that it's a big deal. And has ignored my pleas for massive lighting.
The very first night Dave is gone, I go out at 10:00pm for the final fill up of the evening. I go out through the basement and not the barn. This is important to know because if someone was in my barn or milling around the barn they wouldn't know I came outside. It had got quite cold out and the mud and water on the ground had started to freeze.
I go into the part of the barn where the wood is and fill up an armload of wood. I can't see well because it is really dark out. I put an armload into the stove and head back into the barn. Once inside I stand for a minute to check out which pieces of wood I want and that's when I hear crunching of footsteps. I can't see a flipping thing though. Not only is it very dark but separating me and where I hear crunching is a John Deere front end loader. I can't see around it. The crunching stops for a minute but then continues. I AM FREAKING OUT! No one and I mean no one ever comes by the barn. We have almost four acres behind our house that go to the river and get foot traffic heading that way but no one comes by the house. I have nothing to protect myself with and I'm home alone with the kids. FUCK!
So I say very loudly,"Who's out there?" The crunching stops right then. Of course no one answers. I run through the side door and back in the basement. Chrissy is sitting on the steps waiting for me and I tell her to go up and lock all doors and have Marian go to all windows and make sure they are locked. We have twenty two windows, twenty six counting the ones in the basement.
I then shut off the basement light and crack open the door. Someone is out in the bottom of our barn. No, I didn't call the police they wouldn't have done anything within a two hour period and by then we would have been dead if that's what someone intended.
So again, I hollered out,"Hey, who's out there?" No answer. So I did the only thing I could do at that point, I yelled bad (very) bad words at them. I hurled out a bunch of them. I won't regale you with my wit because it truly is obvious that I am trashy.
I then shut the door a locked it. I took a glass table top and tilted it against the door and stacked a bunch of boxes in front of that. Yes, I know it wouldn't have kept anyone out but it would have made a lot of noise had someone opened the door. I then littered the floor with roller skates and toys going all the way over to the stairs. Am I boring you yet? I know, I'm sooo long winded. The basement is very dark without the light on and even with a flashlight it is hard to see. I then trucked up the stairs and checked all doors and windows myself.
I propped a chair under the doorknob so if some dumb ass made it that far it would buy us more time to GET OUT. I called my hero husband and explained what had happened and he thought it was just a cat. A Fucking cat. Cat's don't fall through the ice and if they did they sure as hell wouldn't keep doing it! Nor are they that loud. He was no help at all.
So that night and the rest of the nights while my husband was out of town, I sat on the couch with the dog at my feet all night. Waiting for something to happen. Nothing ever did. Well, something did, I never went back out that first night to add the rest of the wood to the stove and the damn thing when out over night and I had a hell of a time getting it started back up. For the rest of the nights after that, I drove the truck out back and shined the high beams all around to see if I saw anyone. I never did.

We did a buch of this though. Laying around. Because I wasn't getting any sleep, I got sick. As a matter of fact I'm still sick, which is why I have not been posting.

The good news is, after a meningitus scare and a mono scare Marian is feeling better!!!!!

About Me

I'm Melissa, the one who spells things wrong even though I use spell check. ( I secretly pell things wrong now so my brother-in-law has something to talk to my husband about.) So stop on buy and I'll promise to drive you Krazy two!