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Who are we kidding, we are resigned to the fact that the film is basically going to be unwatchable. That said, there are a few things that sound like they might make the experience semi-stomachable. In addition to the hilarity of space bridges (!), early reviews of the film also have us looking forward to seeing Decepticon testicles, a "lap dance by a Decepticon posing as a nymphomaniacal freshman," and John Turturro in a G-string. [Gawker, Variety]