Up (and too) close encounter with a Gator

From a distance, he (or she) was a magnificent creature. And I had every intention of keeping him (or her) at that distance.

I was running before the start of yesterday’s meetings here in Orlando of the Florida Society of News Editors and the Florida Press Association. I was about six-tenths of a mile into it, along a trail at the JW Marriott Grande Lakes Resort, when I looked up and spotted the alligator sitting on the path about 100 yards — more or less (I wasn’t measuring) — ahead.

First I said some words that I’ll ask forgiveness for later. Then, I slammed on my Fred Flintstone brakes. On a dime. I’m sure there was smoke.

I turned and ran, and I do mean ran, sprinter style, arms pumping. If there was a cop, I might have gotten a ticket for exceeding the speed limit on the highway.

Lots of stuff flashed through my mind. Zigzag. You should be zigzagging. Gators can’t zigzag. You’ve seen their running backs.

A joke? I made a joke while shaking like a leaf and running like my life depended on it.

No zigzagging. I know he can do 30 mph and I can’t, but the shortest distance between danger and safety is a straight line.

Another joke? Who do you think you are, Jerry Seinfeld? I asked myself. Run, you idiot.

Out of breath, I reached the main road near the fenced-in tennis courts and slowed to look over my shoulder.

No gator. Apparently he was just sunning himself with the morning light.

I began to jog again, ever so slowly. I had done a mile and was on a personal record pace.

I warned a guy running in the street not to turn down the path near the tennis courts. A gator, I yelled.

He shrugged and turned the other way.

I finished my 4-mile run, and yes set my personal best time – thank you, Mr. (Miss) Gator – and went back to the rest of my day, being sure to post my mileage to www.Move.Tallahassee.com/tracker.

To be fair, the hotel and resort had ample warnings to be aware of the “wildlife” when approaching the ponds. But I didn’t think a gator would be out for a morning jog.

Later that day, I was elected president of FSNE, the Florida editors group. But it wasn’t the highlight of my day. Nothing could beat the thrill of not being eaten by the gator.

My Facebook friends got a kick out of it, at least those who weren’t alarmed. Here’s what I posted:

“I joked about it earlier, but ran into an alligator this morning about .6 of a mile into my run. Turned and ran the other way. Fast. I mean sprinter fast. Still did 4 miles and set a personal best time. Thanks, Mr. Gator.”

“Was he in handcuffs?” one asked. That was the best line of the day, and I was sure to share it with the editor of the Gainesville Sun.

“No, but he was mumbling something about some school in Ohio,” another responded – second-best line of the day.

“Lends new meaning to Move,” another friend quipped.

Indeed it does.

Some 71 people liked the post, and it drew dozens of comments.

Me, well, I’m happy to provide a good chuckle for my friends from the safety of inside the hotel.

And whether he knows it or not, I feel like I have a personal relationship with a hunk of wildlife living the good life in a pond at a fancy resort.

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About The Author

You can send comments by clicking on Bob Gabordi’s blog on Tallahassee.com or Move.Tallahassee.com, e-mailing him at bgabordi@tallahassee.com, sending a private message on Tallahassee.com and Twitter @bgabordi. You can also find links to his blogs on Facebook, LinkedIn and Google+. His mailing address is Bob Gabordi, Executive Editor, Tallahassee Democrat, P.O. Box 990, Tallahassee, FL 32302. His telephone number is 850-599-2177.