Rusty's Wranglers mount up and ride toward kickball glory

July 20, 2005

On Toga Night it also became clear who our nemesis would be: the yellow team, known as James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party. We tied them in the regular season, but beat them 2-0 in the division finals to advance to the Region 7 tournament in Kansas City, Missouri.

And that division championship brings us. . . . Where? . . . to the regional finals in Kansas City, of course, and a promise made by Kathleen "You're Toxic" Simmons, on the Pregnant Reserve List since mid-May. She said that if the Wranglers took home the Silver Pitcher in K.C., she would name her unborn child Rusty.

Her husband, Brad "The Bomber" Simmons agreed, and even upped the ante with a promise to dress Rusty in costume whenever he took the baby out in public.

Some of the Wranglers thought the name might prove problematic due to the unknown gender of the child. But Michelle "The `Michelle' Is Silent" Dooley was quick to remind us of the indefatigable female Rusty, as played by Sarah Jessica Parker in the 1980s blockbuster film "Footloose," and everyone agreed it would be a lovely name for a boy or a girl.