After a 5 year struggle with anorexia (with purging tendencies), depression, self harm and over exercising I have now been recovered for 4 years and i use my blog to help others in the same situation i once was.
I am now a happy and positive person who wants to inspire those struggling to choose recovery and to take control over life and happiness again!

Life without Anorexia

My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.

And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, October 30, 2015

It's easier to say you want change than it is to make a change

Yesterday was a day where i just had enough.... i didnt want to feel this way anymore. I didnt want these thoughts in my head.... the moment where you just know you need to seek help to get better. Where you know that you can not continue in the same path that you will just be on a standstill with the same emotions and the same feelings, or you will spiral downwards, and i want neither of those.

Then i began thinking.... how many times in my life have i said, "I want things to change, i am going to change things". It is easy to think or say that, especially when you reach a point where you have had enough, or you do something you regret or leaves you with lots of anxiety and fear, then its easy to think... im going to change. Tomorrow is going to be a new day and everything will be different. But then it isn't different, you still end up doing the same things... or maybe you last half a day or a day, or even a few days, but you end up ging back to the same old thing and once again you end up repeating "things are going to change"... but things never do and it becomes a constant repetition.

The important thing to remember with change and recovering from mental illnesses is that it doesnt all happen at once. And things dont always go perfectly... you might slip up, make a mistake, take a step backwards, but you need to remind yoursel to not just break apart and think "ive already ruined things might as well ruin them more". For example, if you drop your phone you dont suddenly stamp on it and break it completely just because you dropped it. So for those of you who have black and white thinking and have thoughts such as "i ate a piece of chocolate... now ive ruined it and might as well eat everything" or think " i've eaten a piece of chocolate, now i wont eat for 3 days"... that is black and white thinking, and breaking the phone when all you did was drop it. Instead think, you havent ruined anything and it is not black or white. Before you might have used behaviours such as the above, but now you need to remember that you wanted change and that means not resorting to old or bad behaviours... but instead doing something different, so things change.

It is small steps all the time and realise that all those steps forward will lead to the final goal. Not everyday is awesome, not everyday is easy but it does get better. You need to actually make the change as well, know that it will be tough but it will be worth it.

And this goes for me... i think that "I want change" i want things to be different, i can't keep feeling this way... but all ive done to change things is to look online for therapists... and then not even call anyone, not even talk to someone..... that is doing nothing to change the situation. I cant keep thinking i want change and then not change anything, i know what i need to do, but it means also doing it.

So these were my thoughts yesterday... and i hope they are a reminder to some of you, that it is not enough to think or say that you want change. You wont break free from the destructive mindset and destructive thoughts unless you do something about it and actually make some form of small change everyday!!!

5 comments:

Izzy - I`m sorry to hear you are feeling so low again. You know there comes a time when maybe a strong mindset just isn't enough any more and all the positive thinking in the world doesn't help. Have you considered medication for your depression? Its not just a sticking plaster, depression is a chemical inbalance in the brain and meds help level those inbalances so you can work through your depression, its not a stand alone cure but one to help you function so that you can work at the causes of your low mood. I have depression and take medication but initially I also went through cognitive behaviour therapy, counselling and social inclusion therapy. That, along with medication enabled me to get through the darkest days and to be able to function. Its worth thinking about. You don`t have to exhaust yourself like this when help is available for you. I wish you all the best and know that you are strong enough to come through this - don`t be afraid of seeking a helping hand. carol

Im sorry you are feeling like this - i am feeling low these days too. I think it comes in peaks and troughs. Take charge of your mental health and take baby steps to getting some help - or even just talking to a friend or family member. Even email someone who will understand - i know i do! Feel free to email me.

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About Me

Hello :)
I have had Anorexia and depression for c.a 5 years and been in and out of hospital for 2 years. But now im living my life like a normal teenager, I still have my ups and downs now and again, but i still stay positive and never give up.
In my blog i write about my daily life, and my opinions and views on certain things and i bring up topics and information that i think needs to be passed on!!
Leave a comment - love reading comments from people :)
If anyone wants to get in contact with me.
Mail me here --> lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com