I'm not here much these days, but feel free to paw through my archives until I return. -Bev

Monday, August 30, 2010

Today kinda sucks, so let's have a laugh.

Hey there, beautiful people. How's it hangin'?

I'm having a rather shiteous day, but I'm doing my best to pull myself out of it*. It's a gorgeous day out and I woke up in such high spirits, but one thing lead to another and now, yadda yadda yadda, life sucks.

No, no, that's being melodramatic. It's not that bad. All of the important things are still okay in Bevland, but I did have to deal with the following irritants all before noon today:

* I weighed myself this morning for the first time in months. Motherfucker! That scale simply must be broken.

* The daycare charged us $20 because J got stuck in construction traffic and was exactly 2 minutes late to pick up the kid last week. Two minutes = $20. I feel like for that price we should at least get a handjob out of it or something.

* The internet was down at work when I got in. I'll bet you didn't know that in addition to being my office's chief ass-wiper, bad smell-hunter, and complaint-listener, I'm also the closest thing to an I.T. person that we have. Turns out it was nothing that 3 hours of my time and a $287 switch couldn't fix. But, at least I had the joy of listening to all of my a-hole coworkers bitch and moan about their lost productivity while I figured out what was wrong, so that made it all very satisfying. /sarcasm

Screw you guys! I'm going home.

ANYWHO. Enough of me kvetching! These problems are teeny tiny compared to others, so let's watch something funny and have a larf, shall we? Yesterday the family and I took a little road trip over to the seacoast. On the way there, the kids were clamoring for Happy Meals and we were hoping to have 5 minutes in which they'd stop talking for a goddamn second so we could hear ourselves think, so we stopped at McD's. They each got a Batman toy, which seemed harmless enough until we examined it closely. Then we noticed something... not quite kid-friendly about Batman. Take a look:

Uuummm, yeah. Does it look to anyone else like Batman is... um... well. YOU KNOW.

Oh, look who I'm asking. Of course you see it too! That's why we get along so well! :-p

There. I feel more cheerful already, though probably not as cheerful as Batman feels right now. Hope you're all surviving your Monday!

Jenks - Yes, but who wants to see Yoda wanking? Batman, sure... but Yoda? Pass.

Smama - Next time I promise to leave my crack pipe at home. ;)

Liz Tee - Go get one! He's an instant mood-booster.

Frank - Where's the fun in that?

RGR - Yes! I hate it when the world conspires to piss me off when I have every intention of having a good day.

Oh, and McD's toys are designed to make my children fight/argue over them for the duration of the drive, then be forgotten and abandoned once we get to our destination. Junky things! I have drawers full of them.

Mala - HAHAHA! Oh yes, I sure feel appreciated! Every day I feel the warm glow of appreciation.

I came in to a client stiffing me for over half a mil, thankfully they seemed to get the point and resolved the problem rather quickly before we started pulling money back from all of their employees.

And I deeply sympathize with your 'closest thing to an IT guru' syndrome. That's a job I fell into unwittingly as well. Possibly because I'm the only one in the building with dual monitors.

On my recent trip to McD's, the mother in front of me purchased HM's with 'boy' toys in them for her two 5-7 year old daughters. Wonder if they got Batman, and if so, how the subsequent confiscation was explained to them.

Elliott - I don't even have dual monitors, but I do know the difference between right and left clicking a mouse, so by default I'm the most qualified person to handle these things. Yes, it really is that sad.