Amber Rose in a bikini

A freaky-eyed Amber Rose stopped by TAO Beach in Vegas over the weekend. Apparently the Jon Gosselin pool party wasn’t her cup of tea, but wouldn’t it have been hilarious if she went and he worked his slovenly magic on her? I can almost read Kanye’s blog now:

“WHAT?! WHAT?! I’M KANYE WEST!!!! I’M BASICALLY JESUS SENT BACK TO EARTH TO DESIGN RED LOUIS VUITTON SNEAKERS AND BREAK PEOPLE’S CAMERAS BECAUSE I’M TRYING TO CARRY AROUND MY MACBOOK PRO AND LOOK SUPER IMPORTANT! AND THIS GIRL IS GONNA CHEAT ON ME WITH JON GOSSELIN?!?!??!???! HOW I’M SUPPOSED TO BE GREAT?!!?! WHAT IS A JON GOSSELIN? WHAT’S THIS FOOL GOT THAT I DON’T GOT IN DIAMOND SPADES WITH DIAMONDS ON THE INSIDE?!? AND DIAMOND SAUCE!

UPDATE: I’VE JUST BEEN INFORMED WHO JON GOSSELIN IS! KANYE WEST IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF NOW! THIS WILL BE THE GREATEST SUICIDE KNOWN TO MAN! BUT I NEED TO HUMBLE MYSELF FIRST! SOMEBODY LEAVE THE CRUST ON MY SANDWICH!!!!!! I DON’T DESERVE IT CUT OFF ANYMORE BECAUSE I’M THE HUMBLEST BITCH ALIVE!!”