Whew, I thought I was the only one. But in all seriousness, journalist Wang Yu has spent some time working in Foxconn, specifically on iPhone 5 production lines, and what he lived through is quite shocking. Not that anyone will care, but still.

Apparently, Yu now suffers from “painful muscle memory”, directly related to Apple’s iPhone 5. It is said this is a mental flashback to the pain experienced by repetitive, drone-like manufacturing of Apple’s shiny gear.

Yu pointed out that the line he worked in required a minimum of 17 workers. However, many workers resigned and although there were only seven or eight left, their production target of 5,600 panels was unchanged.

He noted that the cooling agent for the machines smells unbearably and is bad for the workers’ noses and throats. Still, the company does not give out masks every day, as it is supposed to, but rather every week.

Most won’t care, because that’s just too far down the iHole for them to think, and quite understandably – the iPhone 5 is just to shiny to look beyond. However, for all Apple’s alleged interest into its supply lines, one of our readers said it best:” That damn sweatshop better deliver those new phones, otherwise Tim Cook will personally throw a couple dozen workers off the roof.”

It has come to our attention that a group of disgruntled members of the unholy cult of Apple are to gather in front of company HQs in Washington, New York, San Francisco, London, Sydney and Bangalore, where they will protest worker protection strategy.

Namely, the groups will present a petition signed by 250,000 people, clamoring for worker protection strategy in Chinese factories. You may recall that worker protection in Foxconn’s factories mostly revolved around safety nets, which seems to be the best way to keep people from chucking themselves off of buildings.

The signatures were collected on Change.org and SumOfUs. Apparenlty, more than 35,000, out of 55,000 petitioners on SumOfUs, use Apple’s product. In fact, 20,000 alone are iPhone users.

Executive director of SumOfUs Taren Stinebrickner-Kauffman said that he owns an iPhone and loves it, but that he doesn’t like supporting sweatshops. He added:“The hip, educated market that Apple aspires to corner is largely composed of responsible consumers who don’t want to be complicit in sweatshop labor.”

Indeed, certain reports showed that iPhones are partly built by adolescents working 16 hour days for less than a dollar per hour. Apple’s new CEO Tim Cook said that Apple takes these things seriously, but let’s not pretend that it’s down to someone’s good heart – it’s the image and the dough that matters in the end.

Petitioners claim they want specific action and detailed worker protection strategy for new releases. It is said that most of these suicides occur exactly at that time, due to immense pressures to get things done in time.

And the planet rejoiced in this act of good will. Well fine then, that covers iPhones - now how about clothes, footwear, vehicles, weapons and the rest?