Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Decongestants! Echinacea! Antihistamines! Oh My!

Vitamin C, Expectorants, Ibuprofen! Oh My! Acetaminophen, Suppressants, Zicam nasal swabs! Oh My! So picture me chanting this mantra down my own weed infested yellow brick road - only I'm not wearing a cute powder blue gingham dress and my best pair of Maryjane's. No, I'm sporting more of a casual look.. visualize olive green sweat pants, a ratty t-shirt under a sweat stained around the collar purple hoodie with TWO pairs of Hubbs' tube socks adorning my 8 month old pedicure. My hair isn't braided and shiny, it's got that attractive greasy yet gnarled rats nest effect where one side of my head is flat and stuck to my skull and the other side is "pillow" teased giving it effect that SOMETHING really IS living in there.

My "skip" is more like a saunter and that's not a picnic basket in my hand. No, that's a heating pad and a bottle of Airborne. There's no Toto.. fakk, Nigel won't come near me in fear he'll catch my funk. Chloe just stares at me from across the room and if I walk too close to her she starts whining. Chicken shit that she is.

My best friends, the Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion and that old bastard The Scarecrow walk 15 steps behind me and they've got surgical masks over their faces and latex gloves on their hands. Whatev. I don't need them anyway. As long as I've got a pocketful of Kleenex, my bottle of Afrin and a fist full of Comtrex I'll be just fine. :P

Wait

Were ya'll expecting my latest Daring Baker challenge post???

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

You so funny!

Okay well.. I have to be honest with ya'll.. uhmm.. it's not quite finished yet. It's sittin' in my freezer just waiting for me to unmold and glaze.. so if ya'll can be patient with me, I promise to have it posted here within the next 48 hours. :P Okay I'll shoot for 24. But that's only if my fakkin nose will stop running long enough for me to apply the delicious glaze and snap a few photos.

Alright, I leave you now as I'm trying to figure out a way to use Hubbs' cordless drill, a corkscrew and a bandaid to relieve some pressure from within my skull. Where the FUCK is MacGyver when you REALLY need him????