Pages

February 03, 2011

Ted

Ted, age 2

Branford, CT (1986)

So this is me aged 2 or so, probably taken while my family was living overseas. When we moved back to the states we settled in southern Connecticut, where I grew up.

The earliest sign that I was gay was in kindergarten. My classmates and I were taking turns picking each other up, trying to see who was strongest. When it was my turn,
I wrapped my arms around a male classmate's hips and lifted. I didn't recognize it at the time, but in retrospect - that funny feeling I got was definitely the very early manifestation of budding homosexuality.

As a child I was athletic, curious, adventurous, and perhaps a bit reckless to boot. I also wanted a Minnie Mouse lunch box, a Tinkerbell design on my blanket, and played with Barbies a lot.

I'm sure my parents noticed my ignorance of gender norms, but they never made any attempt to stifle me, nor to encourage me more towards hetero-normative activities.

And so I got the My Little Pony collection for my 6th birthday, and fake vomit for Christmas, and I was happy.

In addition to the good fortune of having such caring and nurturing parents,
I also benefited from being a 'low key' gay child by the time I hit 5th grade. I was saved the middle school torment, and in the relative shelter of sexual ambiguity, I was able begin to understand who I was. It was this same quality that went on to spare me from a potentially disastrous Catholic boy's college prep school experience.

For me - as for many gay men and women, I'd imagine - high school was trying. I felt isolated, confused, and frustrated on a near daily basis. It wasn't until long after I'd graduated, until the advent and rapid spread of Facebook, that I came to find that I was not the only gay member of my class, as I had assumed. As it turned out, there were more of us than I could have ever imagined.

And so, to the generation of gay boys and girls who are forging their way through middle school and high school now, I would like to say this: We are everywhere. Being gay is not a result of class, race, creed, or station.

So we are in every school, town, state, and political party - and always have been.
You may not always see us, but we are always nearby.

The "Born This Way: Real Stories Of Growing Up Gay" book is out now in all bookstores. Please support your local LGBT and independent bookstores whenever possible. Click the image below to locate an indie bookstore near you.