Omeganisms Part Deux.

Truthfully guys if you saw my original thread I put up some humorous fights I thought you could all get into. I did not put up all my fights because most of them just come off as situation defenses and IMO quite boring. These are non-fights and anecdotes I thought were quite humorous over my Pro-fight career and regular personal security duties.

That’s not very knife.

2000

So I’m bouncing at a bar. Weekdays are so boring. Bartender comes up to be ask me to escort somebody out. I walk up to the guy and tell him that he has been asked to leave and that we are cutting him off. He doesn’t seem to have a problem with this until we get outside. Suddenly he starts going into a tirade about how he was going to **** me up etc. I smile and just stand at the door; not my business anymore.

He then eyes me reaches into his pocket and pulls out a knife. Now the knife blade is only 1 ½” long but as most knife fighters understand that’s all you need sometimes. I calmly look to the right into the bar give the bartender the signal to call the cops and asked one of our patrons to throw me his pool cube, which he quickly does.

“IS THAT SUPPOSED TO SCARE ME!?!??!?!”

I look at him calmly, break the pool cue over my knee throw the thinner half into the ground (where it sticks in, looked quite impressive, too bad I actually didn’t mean to do that-but I digress). Then I spin the remaining half in my hand use my free hand to wave him in “okay, let’s rumble”

Before we continue the only reason why I was engaging this guy is because it was my job to protect the patrons. Any other time I would’ve been out of there.

So the guy balks, thinks about it for a second, and then starts to walk away. I think to myself ‘no way I’m letting this bastard go after he threatens me with a knife’, and I goad him about “you’re not scared of a little stick are you?”

This infuriates the guy and he starts to come at me and I twirl and get back into fight mode. He backs off a bit and says “you’re lucky I don’t cut you up right now”

“Yeah dude, you’re the man just back off and we can go on with our lives”

“That’s what I thought” he says and smugly starts to walk off.

“What’s the matter you scared you little *****???”

If you guys haven’t caught on I’m playing a little verbal game to get him to stick around while the cops show up. Which they did 4 minutes later (very long time given the situation). He ditches the knife and runs down the street where they catch him and haul him back. Charges filed end of story.

Was in the back with one of my fighters who just won. He was waiting for the next tournament match while everybody was laying around. BTW this was the same fight where Robbie Lawler debuted. Suddenly one of the Heavyweights (cough) Travis (cough) Fulton strips down to put on his cup. Everybody’s staring at him completely naked (no we’re not gay).

“WTF are you guys looking at? Don’t you know small dicks are in? Just not very far…….”

Haha those are pretty funny. It must have been a pretty awkward moment for that guy in the first one if you were playing him like that to get him stay there for four minutes. He's still an idiot, though.