Monthly Archives: April 2012

Technically, this post chould be called Ash-Matic Does Procrastinating. If Ash-Matic was revising, this post would not exist. But I want to save Ash-Matic Does Procrastinating for another time, because it’s something I’m so good at I feel it would be an injustice not to give it the time and attention it deserves – so I’ll save that post for when I’ve finished looking up sea-cucumbers on Wikipedia, watching videos of other people having fun on Minecraft, or convincing myself I’m not looking at porn because it’s only erotic literature, darling.

Everybody knows that revision is boring. You take a bunch of stuff that was boring the first time you read it, and read it again. Then you go on Wikipedia under the false pretext of clarifying some point you don’t quite understand, but actually to find out a bit more about sea-cucumbers.

Imagine the worst weekend you can imagine. Now stab yourself in the eyeballs while imagining it. That’s almost how bad last weekend was – except the screaming noises coming out of your mouth are probably more pleasant than the dialogue of last weekend.

What made it worse was that it wasn’t the machinations of fate that made it so horrific – just the unholy union of boredom and masochism.

Miss-Matic and I did this to ourselves. I doubt the scars of our decisions will ever fully heal.