Dear Dr. V,I will be married 15 years this June, and I feel like my marriage is over. I know now that I married and started a family to please my overbearing mother. My husband has never been supportive of anything I like to do and frowns on my goals. He doesn't like me to have friends - he thinks he should be my everything. I've asked him several times to find a hobby or interest outside our family, something just for him. But he refuses to do anything that isn't family-oriented. I'm tired of trying to live up to his expectations – it's like having another father. I'm at my wit’s end.

− Marie B.

Dear Marie,You’ve been trying to make everyone happy but yourself for quite some time. The first questions to ask yourself: Do you still love your husband? Could you be happy together if these issues were resolved?

If the answers are yes, then I strongly suggest you two see a marriage counselor immediately. He or she will provide a safe, non-judgmental environment where you can talk to your husband about your frustrations and dissatisfaction.

You might be nervous about how he’ll respond to the idea of counseling. Try to release any expectations and keep the discussion as uncomplicated as possible. Tell him how unhappy, frustrated and angry you feel and that if he really loves you he’ll want you to be happy.

Bringing up therapy isn’t a threat; it’s a way you both can work to become the best husband and wife you can be. He needs to understand that the present situation can’t continue and that this routine, while comfortable for him, is no longer acceptable for you.

Counseling won’t be a quick fix or instant cure. It’ll require hard work from you both. Your problems were not created overnight, so they won’t be solved overnight. But they can be solved.

Starting now, you need to assert yourself as an equal partner in the relationship if it is to move forward.

Remember: Your husband is not the boss of you. Nor is your mother – or anyone else. You’re an adult with the right – in fact, obligation to yourself – to have a full, happy life. Every moment we draw breath is a gift; the way we live our lives should reflect that.

If you truly do not love your husband anymore, you may be considering divorce or separation. It’s a major decision that should be taken only after a lot of thought and heart. This is a viable option if you really believe that things are hopelessly broken, that there’s no possible way you’d want to remain with your husband.

Whatever you decide, you could benefit greatly from a more personalized professional opinion. Start seeing a therapist or counselor as soon as possible.

There’s much work for you to do. You sound like someone who has worked very hard with little or no help. Now more than ever, you deserve to have someone share the load with you.

Dear Dr. V,My son, who wants to have a big family, is determined to marry a girl who suffers from bipolar disorder, as well as anxiety. She is dependent on the medication she takes for both. I’m very concerned that this is an unwise choice for a healthy future together. I suspect that his love is confused with pity for her. I have shared my concerns with him, but he does not believe I have any credibility since I am not a doctor. What can I do to show him that my fears are not baseless?

− Mary W.

Dear Mary,Of course, your fears are not baseless. A future with someone diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorder sounds daunting. Bipolar disorder – often referred to as spectrum disorder – can range from severe to mild. In fact, many famous and successful people were known to be bipolar. Some even speculate that Winston Churchill, Alexander Hamilton and Teddy Roosevelt were.

If so, they didn’t just survive with their disorder; they thrived. Marriages can thrive as well, even when a mental illness is present.

If your son’s would-be fiancée is responsible about regularly checking in with her mental health care professionals and taking medication for her conditions, then these issues may not be as problematic as you think.

You may want to get to know your potential daughter-in-law a bit better. After all, though it’s a serious disorder, it is not the sum total of her personality. Perhaps if you saw some of what your son sees, you might feel better.

Outside of expressing your feelings to your son, there isn’t much more you can do. If he’s made up his mind about this woman and is in love with her, then you need to focus on accepting the situation. If you push this point with your son, he may feel caught between his mother and the woman he loves… and therefore be less open to what you have to say.

It’s also possible that he really realizes the commitment he’s making to this person and is willing to accept potential challenges or difficulties.

The best thing you can do for him is to remain non-judgmental and supportive. If things don’t work out, he has to experience that for himself.

No matter whom your son marries, you will both be crossing a threshold in your lives. The only way for you to be 100% open to all the wonderful things in this new chapter of your life (like grandchildren!) is to be unfettered by your past.

Look at your son as an autonomous, responsible, intelligent adult. Trust not only in his ability to make the best decisions for himself, but in the good job you did raising him.

Dear Dr. V,I’m 22 and know I’m not an unattractive person. I have a boyfriend who’s absolutely gorgeous to me and he feels the same about me. But whenever we watch a movie or anything on TV that shows a girl naked or semi-naked, I get scared that he’s going to be more attracted to that girl. Even though he says he’s not, I still feel like I’m not good enough and should look like her. What’s wrong with me?

− Tyanna R.

Dear Tyanna,First off, there is nothing wrong with you for feeling that way. There are many industries whose sole purpose is to make you feel unhappy with your body so they can make a buck. If the average American woman suddenly accepted herself unconditionally, it would be very bad for business.

I’m glad your boyfriend is wise enough to appreciate the beautiful, real woman by his side and not the unreal stereotypes we’re presented with on TV and in movies.

The fault doesn’t lie with you but with the dysfunctional media machine that’s been force-feeding us warped ideals of beauty for decades. We’re expected to conform to an impossible vision of a woman who never ages, weighs 90 pounds, has gigantic breasts, perfect bone structure and nose shape, and never has to eat or use the restroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if she rode a unicorn to work every day – she exists on the same plane of unreality.

Even actresses and models can’t live up to their own standard. After spending six-plus hours in makeup and hair and being photographed in perfect lighting, these women’s images are airbrushed and Photoshopped – faces stretched, blemishes and pores erased. Generally any traces of imperfections (aka normalcy) are removed.

But there’s nothing wrong with putting on a little makeup to make yourself feel good. Everybody likes to look their best, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t do things that make you feel and look great. It’s when your appearance makes you anxious that we run into trouble.

One way to feel better is by taking excellent care of yourself, if you don’t already. I’m not suggesting any kind of weight loss or “quick fix.” But by maintaining your physical health, your mental and emotional health may be boosted as well.

Eat healthy and find an exercise regimen that suits you. Most important, turn off the TV! There’s so much more to do!

Ultimately, the barrage of pressure, expectations and images has only as much power as you grant it. The more you focus on realizing just how incredible and amazing you are inside and out, the less these insecurity peddlers will get under your skin.