Thursday, February 25, 2010

So here it is already mid-term for me, only half a semester left and then graduation. That scares the crap out of me!!! I have no potential jobs lined up, but have heard a few rumors of jobs opening up so cross your fingers and say a little prayer for me. I am still trying to get used to things, and its harder then you think. Especially walking into some body elses program where they have it how they want it and you dont really know what to do because you want things slightly different. But I am still having fun with it. I am still trying to find me in the teaching though, its a struggle but I know I will.

So I hate it, Me and my stupid self feeling sorry for myself all the time. I get in these depressed moods all the time and it really doesn't help that I live alone and don't really talk to anyone but my students and my family a few times a week. Its really hard adjusting to being completely alone from coming from a place where I was always surrounded my friends, now I never hear from them, occasionally on facebook but its just not the same and I miss it. I miss feeling the love and support of others, and not I seriously feel like I am alone on all this. I know I'm not, but it really just feels that way. I miss the random hugs from roommates and friends when I've had a bad day, or just whenever I needed one. Its been way too long for those, and I know it won't be the same if I go back to visit. I've changed, they've changed. They say they care yet how come I haven't recieved even one phone call from them? Heck I don't even get texts back most of the time, I understand people can be busy but seriously. Maybe I just over analize things too much. Well enough of my ranting for now, better get back to cleaning house and lesson planning.