It’s hard not to hold your breath watching drowning

Wrecking ships is easy, it would appear. Apparently, all you need is a light on a stick. It’s the aftermath that is pretty difficult to stomach, even when you’re watching it on a TV screen.

Poor Mary had to stand by and watch her Uncle Joss and his gang drown the survivors of a shipwreck in the icy cold sea.

But they weren’t the only ones holding their breath, as we discovered it is almost impossible to watch someone drown on TV without realising you haven’t breathed yourself for the duration of the scene.

Yellow isn’t for everyone

Rex/BBC

Royal trips yes, Jamaica Inn... not so much

Sure, if your husband gives you some fancy silk and you’re used to dressing in rags, we can see the appeal. And Aunt Patience sure did brighten up the place.

But we couldn’t help feeling that yellow just isn’t the most appropriate colour when you work in a dingy pub in the middle of nowhere and spend most of your day trudging through muddy fields.

Just ask Kate Middleton and she’ll tell you yellow is more for Royal visits to New Zealand and the like. Right, Kate?

Alibis didn’t exist in the olden days

Lesson: Prison is no excuse, even for missing a date

Poor Jem was locked up in prison for stealing a horse all night but was STILL told he would hang for a wrecking he took no part in.

Granted, the law suspected Jem was involved in his brother’s bad deeds, but death seems like a pretty hefty penalty just for having criminal siblings.

Equally, Mary apparently felt that being locked in prison wasn’t the best alibi for missing a date. Tough crowd. Hopefully he'll make is up to her with a stolen horse.

Know your enemy

BBC

Say 'YES' to cheekbones

Oh, look, a nice friendly vicar. Surely he will help solve this awful turn of events. WRONG. He’s too busy down at the beach admiring his gang’s handiwork and shooting people at the inn.

Still at least he offered Mary safe haven. Oh, wait, no he didn’t. He drugged her, kidnapped her and tried to shoot her.

The moral of this story? Apparently that “truth cannot be found in trappings” and you should always trust the horse-stealing bad boy with strong cheekbones.