The Rockin Dead

I like point 'n' click games, and I like metal. And B-movie grade plots? Sure.

But do all these things come together in The Rockin' Dead?

Before we beginRight off the bat, I should note, I have a very high standard for point 'n' click adventure games. I was a huge fan of LucasArts back in the day and for some reason I managed to persist with the Sierra arcade despite their penchant for abusing the player for the slightest misstep. And I've enjoyed other games too, like Beneath A Steel Sky (though, not so much Lure of the Temptress)

So, when I see a point 'n' click adventure, it's going to be judged stiffly against those ageless titans. And if it doesn't measure up, I'm going to pass, pretty quickly. Just so you know.

Anyway, I'll leave it to bitComposer's own site to give you the plot of The Rockin' Dead.

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In The Rockin' Dead, the player takes on the role of Alyssa, member of the pretty to look at but unsuccessful metal band "Deadly Lullabyes". Following an anonymous invitation to a concert, they have an accident on the bumpy terrain just before they reach their destination. When Alyssa comes round, all the equipment of the band is missing – as well as the rest of the band. The following events span a spaced adventure in utter "B Movie" style: Rocking skeletons, wobbly Elvises and numerous undead put Alyssa through various challenges. An extremely bizarre setting which somehow reminds Alyssa of one of her songs...

Yes, really. Now, if done properly, this could be awesome. Cheesy, but awesome, sort of like Mystery Science Theater 3000 shows. Or it could totally blow.

Now, the game features the option to put stuff in funky you-need-3D-glasses-for-the-red-and-green-bits 3D, but that only works if you have such 3D glasses. Sadly, I don't have such handy, seeing how I got the game as a digital download (though I am assured they are present in the boxed version), so hopefully that won't be a problem.

OK, so the game's telling me to put my 3D glasses on (just before engaging 3D-riffic mode) with a picture of Alyssa and some skeletons and a frog with 3D glasses on. Wait, what?

Now before we go any further, I want to make one thing clear. I'm male, in my twenties, geek, etc. so I'm not what you might call averse to boobs. And I get that Alyssa is supposed to be lead guitarist in a metal band. But this feels a little like shameless exploitation. Barely moments into the game and I get the slightly uncomfortable feeling that I'm going to be seeing a fair amount of Alyssa's cleavage and that it's going to distract me from playing a good adventure game that engages my brain. I'm not a drooling moron who has the same attention span as the distance of a jiggle.

Playing the gameAnyway. Let's get on with the game and hope that I'm wrong and that I get an intelligent game with nice looking characters, rather than an airhead extravaganza. I did find the option to turn off the 3D look, too, which is kind of handy.

So, we get this whole cut-scene thing going on of a guy doing science stuff, and what looks suspiciously like animating skeletons. And he's printing out what looks like a flyer for a concert (I think he might be the Bad Guy!)

Anyway, we then cut to Alyssa riding to the rehearsal room on her bicycle (not exactly the hardcore metal image, I know) and thinking that she had no idea of the 'crazy adventure' she was about to embark upon. And so the game opens at this point, just outside the rehearsal room.

So, the interface, up top we have a message window, plus the options button, plus a zoom in/out button. Down below we have the inventory, hints button, plus save/switch 3D mode/quit. All fairly straightforward for a point 'n' click game.

But already my fears are becoming realised. The game is pretty enough in the backgrounds - but the star of the show is of course the protagonist. A protagonist who is, naturally, animated even when standing still to... well, I think that's breathing. It's a sort of move that adjusts for the slightly twisted posture of the legs.

And, oh hell. I didn't notice it the first time when Alyssa walked around, but they animated the boobs jiggling. Ugh. The animation isn't bad but it's just enough that I kind of notice it regularly for all the wrong reasons. Ugh.

Well, there's not a lot to do in this popsicle stand, let's go and see the rest of the band.

-sigh- This is all you can access right now in the game - inside the rehearsal room and outside. Inside here is the band (which you can't talk to unless you have something interesting to say to them), a magazine about the band, the band's mascot and some guitars of Alyssa's that you can poke at and get different pre-recorded bits from each but that's good for about 45 seconds of amusement.

So, outside, is the band's tour-bus (a converted ambulance), a phone box, the news dispenser and their annoying neighbour Quentin and his car that he will just snarl at you if you go near him. (And whether you try to talk to him, or touch the car, since both are options, the same whiny 'don't touch my car' sentence is used. Yay.)

Before I explore much more and get into such exciting things as actual conversation and, of course, actual puzzles, I was clicking around the interface, finding out what did what, and I bumped into the options screen. Sadly, this is one of the highlights of the game so far, if only because it's one of the most intelligent things I've seen for an options screen... kind of.

Let me start off with it.

OK, so let me explain why this is actually kind of neat. From here you can set the volume and whether 3D mode is enabled, but you can also set things like whether water effects, particle shading, refractions and stuff is enabled. Most people don't really know what those things mean from a technical standpoint (less effects = runs faster, but less pretty) so what happens is if you enable or disable an option, you can actually see it happen right there. The refraction effect is on the glass tubes, the particles on the water spray, the water effects actually on the water and so on. Of all the games I've seen with such options, this is one of the few - if not *the* only one - I've seen that presents them to you in a way where you can judge whether it actually makes a difference.

So that's kind of cool. Anyway, back to the game.

Now, if you remember, we looked inside and came back out, hmm, I wonder what we're supposed to do. Well, there's a mailbox outside, I wonder if there's something in it. Oh, look, a leaflet.

So, just a bit of backstory as the game has explored already... the last tour was the Dead Girls Don't Dance tour and the band manager ran off with the cash leaving the band strapped for cash but otherwise functioning. And, their previous hit was 'Creator's Creation' which given the vibe is clearly relevant, e.g. what we saw in the intro.

So, let me get this straight: the band is supposed to be headlining a gig named after their biggest hit to date but the first they hear of it is a leaflet for the concert. No agreement, no phone call, nothing that would normally indicate what's going on. But of course, a smart girl like this would be suspicious, right? No, of course not, it's obviously where the band is going next! Quick, let's go tell the band!

Then we discover that the tour bus is missing its battery. Hmm. And there's that news-stand too.

Exploring the phone box, we find a dollar, buying a paper we find that someone who wants a 'dashing good time' has placed a personal ad, which in this case is Quentin the neighbour.

So we get the number from the ad (the paper is now in our inventory, along with yet another boob shot as we examine the paper), phone him up and get him to leave so we can tamper with his car. It's not the most imaginative puzzle I've ever seen, but it's not too bad in the scheme of things. There's not exactly that much that you can interact with (quite a few things to look at but almost nothing to interact with except the things you actually need to) which kind of says to me there is a slight lack of depth to the game. We have, after all, had to interact with almost everything we could possibly have interacted with to get to this point.

Having liberated the battery from Quentin's car, the tour bus can get on the way and 'we really had to put our foot down to get there on time' (despite the fact the concert is 'tomorrow midnight', i.e. at least 24 hours away, and a concert that you didn't even know that you're supposed to be headlining that's more than... what... 500 miles away? You wouldn't be going.)

Then there's lots of a water, bus crashes, and upon waking up, the truck's a write off, the other band members and all the gear are gone and Alyssa's in the middle of nowhere, just conveniently next to a graveyard.

Or more accurately, a graveyard with a locked door. Which is the second puzzle I encounter. On the screen you end up on after crashing the bus, is a sign that says 'Achtung!' with a skull on it, i.e. hinting danger. Spinning it around you see a diagram with 10 numbered spaces. And Alyssa even comments that it looks like some kind of plan. Oh, the surprise.

Anyway, the very next location has the floor tiles that correspond to this map (no, really?) and you press the first three and boom, the gate opens. Colour me surprised. Thing is, this is not a difficult puzzle. Not even remotely. The hardest thing about it is that you're only shown the sign for a few moments before it disappears again and you still have to press the first three stones. Fortunately, I screen-captured it so I didn't have a problem for reference but still... this is not good design.

And then this game just gets stranger. So exploring the graveyard and you find a... skeleton acting as bouncer. And upon trying to enter he tells you that there's no mortals allowed and asks if you have a light for his cigar... what?

I mean, seriously, what? I knew this had B-movie shtick going on and 'rocking skeletons' (some of which were already in cut scenes) but this is a whole new realm of "what the hell is going on?"

There's a whole level of disconnect going on. And when I got to the point where this buggy was going back and forth, and I figured out which stones to move to stop it... then I looked inside and saw a baby skeleton holding a toy cat, and the baby skeleton growls at you if you take the cat off it... I'm like "wut?"

So, on a whim, I consulted the in-game hint feature. It's kind of cute, really, you get a hint or two free, but the third hint you have to break the 'safety glass' so that you actively have to do something other than pressing a button to get the hint. And the hint told me that to get the toy cat off the baby skeleton (which has eyeballs, by the way), you have to give it alcohol. Wait, what? (I'll spare you a screenshot. It's disturbing.)

OK, I'm done with this. This game just isn't working for me.

On that bombshellOn paper, this game should have worked for me pretty well. I like B-movies, I like metal, point 'n' click, games with a sense of humour... this should have worked. But like I said, it was always going to be judged harshly by me. Unfortunately it doesn't even get close.

The game's pretty enough, but the semi-constant boob shots were actively putting me off (and yes, that's pretty much the only thing the zoom in option actually seems like it could have any use for... I can't see where it would help anywhere else). I could have accepted that, though, if the game actually stood up to par - but it doesn't.

The opening puzzle alone was convoluted enough, that you had to interact with a bunch of unrelated items in a way that didn't quite fit together. I gather from a walkthrough I glanced through that you're supposed to learn about Quentin placing the ad from talking to your bandmates but I never got that far because I went straight into the conversation about the festival. Apparently they're expecting you to go through all the options in the order presented... yes, I probably would try every option but not necessarily on my first play-through. I didn't try it, but I wonder what would happen if you misdial the phone when you're supposed to call Quentin... you only have enough money for one call (as the other 50 cents was used to get the paper in the first place), that seems like it could be a game-breaker. Having a game highlight a logical flaw (not being given a clue that you really need, and not having the option to go back and get it later) this early on is a real warning flag.

The sound you do get to hear is pretty good, though it's nowhere near enough to support the game otherwise. I think, ultimately, the cue should be taken from the game's own website mention: "pretty to look at but unsuccessful" - they refer to the band, I refer to the game. Seriously, I could have taken this game a bit more seriously if they hadn't tried to push boobs in my face at every opportunity (and they did take every opportunity), but for all its looks, it's not actually that well designed an adventure game.

It's not on the usual suspects (Steam, Desura) but GamersGate seems to carry it and you can pick it up from some other online stores if you really feel you must but frankly, I wouldn't bother.