I poured out 5 gallons of beer that had been in the secondary for over a year.

It was my third batch, after a Mr. Beer kit, and a Cooper's Kit. It was a Cooper's IPA with 5Lbs (probably) of DME instead of sugar. It did not get the death it deserved.

Batch number 2 was infected with something mildly souring, so when I saw the spots appearing on the surface of this one I just couldn't bring myself to do anything with it, and it stayed in the closet while I moved on to other brews. I think the airlock went dry 7 or 8 months ago. At this point, the black furry mass inside the three piece was probably giving it a seal anyway.

As it swirled down the drain it had the most heavenly aroma, like a barleywine lambic. So wonderful that I had to grab the nearest glass (dirty, btw) and try some before it was all gone.

It tasted like nothing. No sourness, no hoppiness, no maltiness. Just a hint of that wonderful aroma with absolutely no flavor at all.

Now I'm just thinking "If I had known what in the hell I was doing, I could have 5 gallons of freaking amazing Lambic style Barleywine instead of a sad and lonely empty carboy."

Beer is the mind-killer. Beer is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my beer. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see it's path. When the beer has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.