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Kim and Trump hail ‘greatest buffet ever’

It is understood peace on the Korean Peninsula is one step – or mouthful – closer following a marathon four hour eating session that left both leaders wheezing and with meat sweats, but ultimately not wanting to blow each other up.

Over thirty chefs were drafted in to create the menu: ‘We had to find food that was easily eaten by both chop sticks and forks. However that turned out to be pointless anyway as within minutes both had thrown down their chosen cutlery and were literally hand-shovelling the food into their mouths’.

The meeting was not without its difficulties. An ill placed bowl of ribs led to an increasing in tension but a quick thinking waiter brought an extra three bowls to ensure any ribs were in contest. There remained concerns that, having demolished most of the table the two might turn on each other, but a contingency buffet was already in waiting.

At the end of the meal, both sides complemented each on their ability to pack away an unnatural quantity of deep fried food, but that they hoped to join each other again some time for the next buffet. They ended on a fortune cracker, although it is understood the bill was inside Trump’s.