Today’s adventure in stranger danger brought to you by the Madison Public Library.

Frankly, I consider it remarkable self control that I have been in Madison almost 3 weeks and yet managed to resist visiting the public library until today. (If you want something even more incredible, I spent an hour there and didn’t leave with a single book.) However, today I broke down and decided a trip to the library was in order.

The visit started off normally. I picked up my library card, checked out the Young Adult section (disappointing), and was pleasantly surprised by the Adult Fiction selection (so many Georgette Heyer books! And mysteries!) My meandering eventually led me to the foreign language section. The Madison Public Library has an impressive selection of foreign language material, ranging from Czech and Yiddish to Russian and Mandarin Chinese. I was standing there admiring it when a guy somewhere in his mid 20’s came rushing around the corner. At first glance I assumed he was just really eager to find a book. Then he said,

“Ahhhhh, ummm, are you looking for anything in particular?”

He didn’t look like a librarian, so I just smiled politely and told him I was ‘just browsing.’

“Ahhh….yes….” a long pause, “I’m teaching myself German.”

I must have smiled or in someway acknowledged this remark because, after another pause, he rushed on. “Ah, I have already taught myself Norwegian and French. I mean Portuguese. Eventually I am going to learn Greek and Lithuanian and French and…and Latin.”

Feeling this sudden confession deserved a response, I responded, “This library has a very large selection. I am sure that helps.”

“It does! They have so many languages.” And he proceeded to list all of the ones around us. “Oh, by the way, I’m Dave.”

“Amy,” I said, wondering where all this was going. Was he going to try and sell me something?

“Yes…ahh, nice to meet you. This is a very good section. Look, they even have Yiddish. And Japanese. Lots of novels in Japanese. I went to college in Oshkosh. I took Spanish there. Like two years of it. I’ve lived in Madison two years. Oh look, there is Hindi.”

He continued to ramble, primarily about languages. He told me he considered learning languages on his own way more efficient than learning it in a class, because this way he didn’t have to take quizzes. He mentioned an interest in Italian. This went on for at least ten minutes. By this point, I realized he probably wasn’t trying to sell me anything and he definitely didn’t work for the library. I found his linguistic claims doubtful but listened politely. Looking back now, the situation doesn’t seem at all that intimidating (if anything, rather funny) but I felt uncomfortable and decided to trust my gut. I told him I was headed downstairs to look at the children’s section. He offered to show me the way and as soon as possible, I slipped out of the building.

And so for the second time in two days, I have had an unusual run-in with a complete stranger. I wonder if it will ever stop being a little weird? It is hard to find a balance between wariness and warmth. I want to be approachable, and yet I also want to be smart about it.

I think Tuesday/Thursdays are going to be my favorite days. At least, today turned out to be really fun. Here are some highlights:

On my way to school, a homeless man told me I was beautiful! (In full disclosure, he also asked me for apple juice so he might have been just buttering me up.)

I made a new friend! (Not the homeless man, though he did ask for my number.)

I got free pizza at lunch.

I won a Starbucks gift card! (Won might be too strong a word. I was given it because I got cold called on twice my first day of classes and the lady at the Lexis Advance training was very sympathetic.)

I wore my hair in a low bun all day and it STAYED! (Yay perms!)

I read a book for fun between classes called Loyalty and Legislative Action: A Survey of Activity by the New York State Legislature 1919-1949 by Lawrence H. Chamberlain and it was so unexpectedly good I gave it 5 stars.

I am currently flopped on my bedroom floor staring at pictures from camp and trying not to cry. It is an unnerving experience. I didn’t expect this sudden, unexpected influx of emotion. Camp was wonderful, but come August, I was ready to leave. I arrived desperate for a break and camp gave me just that. It gave me time to recharge and refocus. By the end of the summer, I felt energized and eager to tackle the world (or at least, law school.) I was ready to go.

Perhaps because of this readiness, I didn’t mourn leaving too much. I knew I would miss several of my fellow staff members, but I’ve said goodbye to people before. It was a great summer but one that had now come to an end. I was happy to stick all my emotions and thoughts into a “Summer 2017” box and move on with life.

I guess, though, that I should have realized that a summer like I experienced needs to be processed through. It needs to be remembered. The good, the bad, the fun, and the painful…all those things are valid and part of my experience. White water rafting, hiking, horseback riding and big base kickball, those are things I did. Me! The girl who previously ranked hiking alongside cavities, or rush hour traffic.

Turns out, I really like mountain biking and kayaking. I love the mountains. I’m not half bad with kids (though I’ll never be an elementary school teacher!) I really like Idaho and Montana. I proudly wear Chacos. You know, before leaving I wrote a blog post where I said, “At the risk of sounding cliche, I’m also excited to find a new side of myself.” Turns out, I did!

Camp was everything I hoped it would be and more. I found a new side of myself. I relaxed. I was challenged. I made friends. I learned to live more freely and more fully in the moment. Going forward, my hope is that the lessons I learned and the peace I experienced over the summer will stay with me. God is good. It was wonderful to be daily reminded of that this summer. Whether in the mountains of Idaho or the streets of Madison, may I always remember that God is at work and that He will accomplish great things.

(Photo Credit goes to Joe Jank who did an amazing job with pictures this summer)

Orientations are always a little awkward. New school, new place, new people. I find it extremely stressful. As a rule, I like people. However, the balancing act of making a good first impression (over and over and over again), while scouting potential friends and study buddies, while also attempting to find the bathroom is a little bit too much for me. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted and frustrated and convinced everything went horrendously wrong. Then I wake up the next morning and discover that the world has not, in fact, ended and that I’m energized and ready to try again. After all, it has only been 24 hours. New friends, here I come.

But it is hard to make friends. First strangers must become acquaintances, and then acquaintances must be developed and nurtured into friends. This can take time. I want immediacy. Frustration creeps in. I start to convince myself that I am not going to make any friends, that I’m isolated…and then I remember. I only met these people 48 hours ago. I need to give it time.

But you see, it doesn’t feel like 48 hours. It feels like a lifetime. By the end of the day I’m exhausted. I don’t want to attend the optional, evening events my classmates are attending. I don’t want to join them as they go from bar to bar. Their idea of a good time is not my idea of a good time. I start worrying that they will all bond without me but I’m just Too. Dang. Tired. to care. I need alone time to put things back into perspective. It has only been 72 hours. I have 3 years to make friends.

And so I stress myself out. I worry that I should be more social and then I worry because I don’t want to be social. I’m tired of small talk but I want what small talk can eventually brings…deep conversations.

How to describe orientation? Bewildering and isolating. And yet…there are those moments that make it worth it. Like exploring the library. I’m so excited about the law library. I could (and probably will!) spend hours down there. There are so many books with dry sounding titles that make my mouth water. I’m so eager to dig into legal theory and jurisprudence that it will be a struggle to prioritize my actual studies of contracts and civil procedures. I’m not worried though. Those things fascinate me too. I’m going to take advantage of this legal education.

The law librarians also make orientation better. They are wonderful. So are the professors I’ve met. I can’t wait for them to start keeping office hours so I can drop by and talk. It is hard to stay discouraged when I feel so confident about what I’m doing. The law is definitely the subject for me! The more I hear, the more encouraged I am. I am more and more convinced that this is exactly what I’ve been looking for.

Friends will come. When not overtired, I’m confident in this too. It will just take time. After all, I have only known them for 4 days.

That is my week in a nutshell. Don’t worry, I’m not nearly as emotionally unstable as I sound! I’m just impatient (and prone to dramatics.) Classes start Wednesday and they are going to be awesome. Blogging is very cathartic. I remember why I used to do this every day. Hopefully you’ll be hearing from me more consistently!