To think is this is not embarrassing?

Ignoring all the background because I can't move until we 'win' a council house, so I can't just leave.

Both dds at a party, which I assume was planned for weeks. I was told about it yesterday. I was at work at teatime, essay writing, dog walking and dryer fixing at lunchtime.

Dd2's only pair of tights that match her dress have a hole in the crotch, only the crotch. |I only noticed this hole when I was getting her dressed. Her dress covers the crotch. She has clean knickers on, the same colour as the tights. Had she had other tights I would have gave her them, but she doesn't, so she wore the holey ones. There are no holes in the leg, only the crotch. She is 6 so she is not inclined to go around with her skirt above her head.

She has told DH about the rip on the way to the party. He is 'mortified' and 'feels like he can't go now' I am 'not a proper a mother' and 'want our children to be scruffy' his family will 'all be talking about us'

AIBU to think he needs to get a fucking grip and stop allowing our children to be near his family if they'd honestly make dd2 feel bad about a hole in some tights (which they wouldn't)?

He's a twat. I just hope he hasn't given dd2 a complex about it. I normally ban them from family parties from his side because his does this all the time. It used to be about the fact that their shoes were not the exact shade of their dress, now both children obsessively collect shoes, especially dd1.

This is their cousins birthday party though, so they had to go.

Even leaving him won't stop this. I can't just stop them seeing him completely. I might just drop them off nekkid and leave him to dress them when he has them

This happens to me all the time! I'm 5"10 with a 30" inside leg and no matter what fucking bastard size of tights I buy the crotch NEVER comes up anywhere near my actual crotch. It just seems like the crotch to waist bits are far longer rather than the legs. I spend all day trying to pull the fuckers up in that special classy, dignified loose tights way and they end up ripping. I have midget legs for my height FGS and they still don't fit!

Your DH should be made to wear a pair for a day and see how long it takes for him to rip them.

I often let dd 5 dress herself when the once a month wonder is taking her out. Especially if I know they are going out somewhere. I tell her how cool she looks and then give him the biggest grin when I wave her off. Makes me chuckle!

I respect my children enough to not try and make them feel small by picking at unimportant non-issues, and I have enough self respect to know a hole in my tights that NOONE CAN SEE isn't worth getting myself tied up in knots.