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How To Request A Collar, Collar, Collaring

Questionmy Domme and i have had several discussion about Her collaring me, and Wwe both feel that it is the next step in Oour relationship, and Wwe both want it very much. Wwe have discussed the implications and the terms have been agreed to on both sides. She has instructed me to formally request Her collar. i have some idea of how i want to do this, and i am certain that figuring out how i should is part of what She wants from me... not exactly a test, but a task She has set me to. i could certainly use some advice. i'm wondering if there is any set protocol in the community as to how this should be done, and i would greatly appreciate any personal opinions as well. i really want to convey my respect for Her, and how honored i am to be allowed to call Her my Mistress, and be Her girl.

As I answer this question, I see it as a personal experience between two people that brings them uniquely together, regardless of any protocols.

There are protocols involving the different kinds of collars and their meanings and when they are offered. It is possible that your Mistress intends to eliminate some of the collars and go directly to the Formal collar of Ownership.

Let me first go over some basics for you about collars.

There is the collar of Protection. This is given to a sub/slave for the purpose of protecting them while their dominant is away. It may also be given when the sub/slave needs some form of protecting from an abusive relationship or harassment. This collar represents protection so that the sub/slave may not be approached by anyone without the knowledge of the protecting dominant.

The Consideration collar (first step) is often given to a sub/slave for the purpose of letting others know that the sub is being sought after by a dominant. This collar is blue in color. This collar is worn for an agreed upon period of time. At the end of that time, both the sub/slave and the dominant decide which direction they want their relationship to go and if they will move forward.

The Training and Mentor's collar (second step) is red or black in color and is offered by the dominant to the sub/slave after the Consideration collar. It is very much like an engagement ring and denotes a more serious and deeper form of commitment. At this point there has been a lot of communication about needs, requirements, desires, expectations and the kinds of play that work for both components of the relationship. The symbol of this collar is one of devotion and commitment from the sub/slave to the dominant. Wearing this collar suggests a certain amount of pride so that you demonstrate what you have been taught by your dominant.

The third and final step is the Formal collar of Ownership. It is black leather or made of steel/precious metals and is often created especially by the individual or submissive.This collar represents a cohesion between the dominant and the sub/slave. It represents ownership and obedience and the sub/slave trusts the dominant with their life. This collar is the equivalent of a wedding ring. It holds the same type of deep commitment. A formal ceremony may be created and in addition, permanent markings such as cuttings, piercing, tattoos and branding may also be incorporated.

Now that you have a basic idea of the different types of collars. How does one ask a Mistress to be collared? My advice is to keep it simple and elegant. To prepare, write a dedication to your Mistress. Express your honor and submission to her. Write about how she has affected your life.

Burn incense and light lots of candles in a room you have cleaned thoroughly and place a white sheet on the floor. You can put Christmas lights UNDER the sheet in a circle around a chair where you will guide her to sit. Cover the chair with another white sheet and tuck the bottoms under the chair legs and around the chair to make it look pretty. Drop fresh rose petals on the sheet. Play some pretty instrumental music and ask her permission to read to her. Begin to read what you have prepared. At the end of your reading, say: "Mistress, I would like the honor of becoming your collared girl". Use your own words, but you get the idea.

A collaring ceremony is like a wedding ritual, you get to create it together with your Mistress. You may invite friends, play special pieces of music, have friends read poetry and exchange special vows. This is an important ritualistic celebration and it marks the coming together of two souls who are declaring their dedication to one another through this ceremony.

In doing so, I have a few suggestions. Go out into nature and find something that expresses the essence of your Mistress. Take it, perfectly wrap it and write about why it represents who she is to you. It may be a pretty rock, or a feather you found lightly falling onto the dirt. You see it, you capture it and you express what it means to you in terms of your Mistress. For example: the delicate feather is so beautiful and stands out in the midst of an area where there is very little beauty. Although delicate, the feather survives, blowing gracefully with the wisp of the wind and because it is difficult to capture, you will treasure it always. I don't know your Mistress, but that's a little bit of an example of how to express your feelings by something you find in nature.

Something my slave does that I adore. He will present me with a bouquet of red roses in a vase. Among the roses is one very large red rose standing taller than the other roses. He says that I stand out among "all of the other roses". It's quite a beautiful gesture.

During your collaring ceremony, you will want to have your Mistress sit in a special chair with you on the floor. On your knees, read her your dedication. Express who you are as her girl and slave. Express your devotion and love to her. Ask her permission to ask her to close her eyes. Play a special song for her.

There are many ways to show your devotion...

One more suggestion. Keep a diary in a lovely journal. Gift it to your Mistress because she owns your body, mind and spirit. While you are in the process of writing it, offer it to her to read. First page: "Dedicated to my Mistress".

My good wishes to you sine. Please let me know how it went! I know it will be wonderful because you will take care and consideration in every step of your planning.