Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

Sheriff's deputies say Frederick Shulte was caught pleasuring himself while watching teen girls shower at Jensen Public Beach in Florida on Saturday -- and he would have done worse, had he not been arrested.

The 66-year-old Jensen Beach man allegedly confessed to the crime, telling Martin County sheriff's deputies that he's "capable of a lot more" than just looking, according to the Sun Sentinel. He also reportedly told authorities that he knew what he did was wrong, but he'd do it again.

"It's very chilling when we arrest somebody for a lewd act involving a child," Sheriff William Snyder told WPBF.

A report obtained by the station stated that Schulte was intoxicated. It also indicated that he has a prosthetic penis, though Schulte later told reporters that he had a sex toy in his pants.

"I'm a deviant," he said, according to Yahoo News. "What they found in my pants was a dildo. I just like to have a big bulge."

He was charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition and disorderly conduct.

Sheriff's deputies say Frederick Shulte was caught pleasuring himself while watching teen girls shower at Jensen Public Beach in Florida on Saturday -- and he would have done worse, had he not been arrested.

The 66-year-old Jensen Beach man allegedly confessed to the crime, telling Martin County sheriff's deputies that he's "capable of a lot more" than just looking, according to the Sun Sentinel. He also reportedly told authorities that he knew what he did was wrong, but he'd do it again.

"It's very chilling when we arrest somebody for a lewd act involving a child," Sheriff William Snyder told WPBF.

A report obtained by the station stated that Schulte was intoxicated. It also indicated that he has a prosthetic penis, though Schulte later told reporters that he had a sex toy in his pants.

"I'm a deviant," he said, according to Yahoo News. "What they found in my pants was a dildo. I just like to have a big bulge."

He was charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition and disorderly conduct.

If any state in the union best represents the dangers of invasive species, it's Florida. The Sunshine State is home to what's been a raging Burmese python invasion for some decades. And its Cuban tree frog problem isn't doing the eco-system any favors either.

But now the state has a new issue: wild monkeys—with herpes.

There are about 1,000 feral Rhesus monkeys living in Florida right now. The majority of those scooped up by wildlife officials over the years have tested positive for the Herpes B virus, and this week, the entire colony was declared a public health hazard.

A small handful of the wild animals originally landed in the state in the 1930s, courtesy of "Colonel" Tooey, a tour operator who wanted to give visitors a Tarzan-inspired experience of Florida's Silver River State Park.

Tooey kept the monkeys sequestered on an island, but they've since taught themselves how to swim, easily reaching the mainland and putting down roots as far as Jacksonville, which is hundreds of miles away.

Herpes B doesn't cause serious symptoms in these particular animals, but in humans, it can lead to neurological impairment or fatal encephalomyelitis, an inflammation of the brain and spinal cord.

Florida's Rhesus monkeys are known to act aggressively towards people, and the state's Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, concerned the animals could spread their disease or cause other injuries, are warning tourists and natives to be aware and keep their distance.

__________________
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"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!"~Redd Foxx~

CLEARWATER, Fla. — A Florida woman who appeared on several national television programs as a teen because of her uncontrollable hiccupping went on trial on a murder charge on Tuesday.

After a day of questioning dozens of people, prosecutors and attorneys for Jennifer Mee selected a jury of 12, plus four alternates. Pinellas County Judge Nancy Moate Ley told potential jurors that the trial would probably wrap up by the end of the week, and opening statements are scheduled for Wednesday morning.

Mee, who is 22, suffered from prolonged hiccups of up to 50 a minute in 2007. Videos of her hiccupping gained her national attention, as did her attempts to quell the problem. She tried home remedies and consulted medical specialists, a hypnotist and an acupuncturist, until the hiccups finally stopped on their own. She appeared on several TV shows and while on the "Today" show, was hugged by fellow guest and country music star Keith Urban.

Her 2010 arrest was her first.

The 22-year-old Mee is charged with first-degree murder in the death of Shannon Griffin, a 22-year-old Wal-Mart worker. Prosecutors say Mee lured Griffin to a St. Petersburg home under the pretense of buying marijuana – but instead, two of Mee's friends robbed him at gunpoint. Griffin struggled with the suspects and was shot several times.

Detectives said Mee accepted a friend request from Griffin on a social networking website five or six days before the robbery, but it was unclear if Griffin had recognized her as the "hiccup girl."

Mee's co-defendant, LaRon Raiford, was convicted and sentenced to life in prison in August. Lamont Newton, the other co-defendant who was also Mee's boyfriend at the time of the crime, has not yet gone to trial.

At issue is whether Mee is a bystander or the person who planned the robbery – prosecutors say she played an active role in planning the robbery, which led to Griffin's death. Under Florida law, people can be convicted of murder if they commit a serious felony crime – such as robbery – and someone was killed as a result.

John Trevena, Mee's attorney, said his client suffered from Tourette's Syndrome, a neurological disorder that can cause involuntary movements and speech problems. He said that the hiccups were one symptom of Tourette's and that he will mention that during the trial.

"It won't be used as a direct cause for what occurred but it might help explain her errors in judgment and her often thoughtless response to law enforcement," said Trevena, who said that Mee did not participate in the robbery.

He added that his client has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that he plans to explain that to the jury as well.

Trevena said Mee has been in jail pending trial since her October 2010 arrest – much of that time in isolation because detention deputies say she is a high profile inmate.

Mee has experienced periodic bouts of hiccups while in jail, said Trevena, and she is being treated with a drug called thorazine, which treats psychotic disorders.

"It controls the hiccups," he said.

Mee wore a teal dress and her long, dark hair loose during the first day of the trial. She looked sadly at the potential jurors when the charge against her was read by the judge.

Mee is not facing the death penalty. If convicted, she will face life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Witnesses say he was inside for 30 minutes before an employee spotted the child and called sheriff's deputies. Caraway claimed he left another guy to watch the child, but the babysitter also apparently got wooed by Dixie's dancers, according to the Orlando Sentinel. He was reportedly inside the strip club too.

Caraway was arrested and taken to Volusia County Branch Jail, but he's just a drop in the alleged bad dad bucket:

There's Kenneth Rowe, 26, who was reportedly wasted when he walked into a Daytona Beach liquor store and asked the clerk to watch his baby boy. Then he allegedly went next door to the Shark Lounge for a lap dance or two.

Elluit Gonzalez, a 38-year-old from Orlando, is accused of leaving his sleeping 7-year-old daughter inside a car while he visited the Diamond Club, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

Former NFLer Monty Ray Grow allegedly left his 3-year-old daughter in the car, unattended, while he partied at Diamond Dolls in Clearwater. He was arrested on a child abuse charge. The child was uninjured.

Strippers do it too! Brittany Roman, 21, allegedly left her little boy to walk around their hotel lobby while she danced at the Diamond Club in Orlando, the Sun Sentinel reports.

Edith Aguilar-Cardona and Israel Rangel-Ortiz, both 25, left their kid in the car for about an hour while they opened Pandora's Box -- the strip joint -- in Palmetto, WTSP reports.

Brandi Roman (no known relation to Brittany Roman) allegedly left two children under the age of 6 in her truck, as well as a can of malt liquor, while she watched strippers in Tampa.

Edward Condry Jr., of Fort Myers, is accused of leaving his toddler alone in the car while hanging out at a strip club in Tampa. At about 2 a.m., a manager at the club heard crying coming from Condry's car. It was Condry's 1-year-old.

A woman who hosted a French exchange student ten years ago and recently let him move back in was allegedly attacked by the man.

Police said Pierre Franchi, 29, attacked 66-year-old Sue Ann Montfort in the early Friday morning because demons were after her, the Palm Beach Post reported.

In an attack that lasted for nearly 10 hours, Franchi allegedly shouted “demons are coming after you,” as he repeatedly choked and assaulted Montfort.

Using cords from the blinds in her bedroom, Franchi allegedly choked her before grabbing a pillow , attempting to smother her. He then hit her over the head with a hand-held mirror, a police report obtained by the Sun Sentinel said.

"I have to protect you," Franchi told her, according to the report. "I have to kill the demons."

Montfort had a "motherly affection" for Franchi, the report said.

After his exchange program ended, the two stayed in touch. Earlier this year, Franchi moved in with Montfort after living in California. According to his Facebook page, Franchi was born in Marseille, France.

Franchi allegedly broke Montfort's cellphone at the time of the attack, afraid she would call for help. Fighting off the man, Montfort fell to the floor, where Franchi ordered her to bow to him, police said.

Montfort escaped to the bathroom where she stayed for hours. When she attempted to yell for help through a window, Franchi blared music to drown her out, the report said.

Franchi eventually left, allegedly stealing the woman's car and purse before being apprehended by police.

Montfort told Boynton Beach officers that his behavior may have been triggered by a fight earlier in the night. Montfort confronted Franchi over a wet towel over a chair which prompted an hour-long argument before she went to bed. Three hours later, he allegedly attacked her.

The woman told police Franchi is often prone to rants, spurts of unprompted laughter and excessive chatter.

Franchi is currently being held at the Palm Beach County Jail. He faces charges including aggravated battery on a person over 65, false imprisonment, grand theft and depriving use of 911. Late Monday, he remained behind bars in lieu of $30,000 bail, jail records show.

A Florida woman is accused of stabbing her boyfriend in the eye because he refused a horizontal dance with her.

The victim told police that La Crystal King-Woolfork, 28, of Vero Beach, came home drunk on Sept. 26 wanting sex, according to TC Palm.

She was with another unidentified woman at the time. The two women "started performing oral sex on one another while [the victim] watched," according to an arrest affidavit. Still, King-Woolfork's boyfriend did not want sex.

When he refused intercourse several times, King-Woolfork allegedly grabbed a knife and attacked him. She stabbed him in the eye and the shoulder, but he was able to disarm her and call another person for a ride to the hospital.

Now King-Woolfork faces attempted murder charges, even though she contended in court that she only attacked the victim with a metal candle holder, according to Vero News. She said her boyfriend punched her in the nose after she hit him with the candle holder.

A Florida man who jumped off a moving train Monday night because he left his cellphone on a station bench is recovering from a serious head injury, police report.

Police say Eddie Diaz, 26, of Miami, reportedly pulled the emergency stop cord on the train when he realized what he had left at the West Palm Beach station.

As he jumped out of the train's front passenger door, he slipped and landed on the southbound platform, injuring his head.

At least one fellow passenger came to his aid.

"It looked like he was going into shock. It was just the back of the head and his nose was bleeding," the passenger who works in sports medicine told WPTV. "He was not able to talk but I asked him if he was able to blink or move his mouth and he was able to move his mouth for me."

"It's just what happens when you ride the Tri-Rail," another of the 50 passengers, who were delayed two hours because of the incident, told WPBF.
Diaz is in critical condition

Diana Reaves Costarakis, of Middleburg, was being held without bond in the Duval County Jail on Saturday on charges of criminal solicitation and criminal conspiracy, both capital felony crimes, jail records show. She was scheduled to appear in court on Oct. 31. The records did not list any attorney for her.

According to a police report from the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, Costarakis offered an undercover detective $5,000 on Wednesday when they first met at a Home Depot. She gave him $500 as the first payment as well as a photo of the daughter-in-law, her address, and a description of her car, the report said. Costarakis gave the detective another $1,000 on Thursday and told him her daughter-in-law wore diamonds and other expensive jewelry that could be stolen and sold, with the proceeds being used toward the final payment. The diamonds could not be traced, she told the detective, according to the report.

When asked if Costarakis wanted her daughter-in-law dead, she said, "If you don't, I will," according to the police report.

She was later taken into custody.

Costarakis told police that her daughter-in-law was a drunk and a bad mother to her 6-year-old granddaughter, the police report said.

Angela Costarakis told WJXT TV (http://bit.ly/19tr3XK) on Friday that she did not know why her mother-in-law would be so angry with her.

"I am beyond sad and it breaks my heart because it messes up the family," she said. "I have compassion. I don't want to see anyone spend the rest of their life in jail. However, I am still just dealing with it. I just found out. I have not wrapped my head around it."

The police report said Diana Costarakis claimed her daughter-in-law was leaving her son and moving to Denver with her granddaughter. Angela Costarakis told WJXT that wasn't true.

John Henry Shiffner, 18, was arrested Saturday evening in the town of Century, according to an Escambia County Sheriff's report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Shiffner's 30-year-old girlfriend said he was agitated because of a recent death in the family, and when she tried to calm him down, he pushed her on the ground hard enough that she landed on her back.

The woman is two and a half months pregnant, which she said Shiffner knew.
The arresting deputy wrote in the report that Shiffner "began rambling on about how Obama is right." Shiffner then allegedly stated, "Obama said cops always listen to women."

Some light Googling indicates that Obama has probably never said this.
The deputy also notes that Shiffner smelled strongly of alcohol and his mother said he was drinking earlier that day, but Shiffner denied consuming any alcoholic beverage.

He was charged with aggravated battery and disorderly intoxication.

People say a lot of things after getting arrested. In 2011, an Illinois teen blamed her alleged drunk driving -- and subsequent crash -- on not getting to see the new Twilight movie.

And in 2012, a Florida woman told police she failed a sobriety test because her "big boobies" threw off her balance. Police say that when they asked her to walk in a straight line, she started dancing.

A West Boca woman is facing a child abuse charge after deputies say she emailed her 6-year-old's teacher to say she'd given the boy Adderall as an experiment, and asked for updates on any behavior changes.

Adderall is a drug often used to treat attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or A.D.H.D., which is characterized by hyperactivity and difficulty paying attention. The medication requires a prescription.

"I tried something today," 39-year-old Heather McAuliffe wrote to the teacher early Wednesday, according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office arrest report. "I gave [my son] 5 milligrams of my Adderall just to see if there is a noticeable difference. He does not know because I crushed it up in his yogurt."

She continued her message by asking the teacher, whose name was not included in the report, to email her later with information on any changes in the child, and ended with a thank you. The boy is in first grade at an undisclosed school.

On Thursday, investigators spoke with McAuliffe, who lives in the 22000 block of Palms Way west of Boca Raton. She told them she gave her son the Adderall in hopes of helping him. She was arrested and booked into the Palm Beach County Jail.

Deputies wrote in McAuliffe's arrest report that her decision to give her 6-year-old son a controlled drug without a prescription could have caused him physical injury, violating state child abuse laws.

She was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail and released hours later on $3,000 bail, jail records show. McAuliffe declined to comment when reached by phone Friday.

Palm Beach County School District spokesman Owen Torres said teachers are required by state law to report any indication of child abuse. The boy's teacher "did the right thing" by putting the matter in authorities' hands, he said.

"I don't know what the circumstances are, but if the kid was not prescribed this, obviously the teacher had a right to notify proper authorities to do an investigation," Torres said.

__________________
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"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!"~Redd Foxx~

Just when you thought the DMV couldn't get any worse.
Edward Michael Alvin, 34, was arrested last week after an off-duty cop caught the man allegedly masturbating at the Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles office in West Palm Beach, Fla.

The Sun-Sentinel reported that Alvin began masturbating in the lobby of the DMV on Friday.

An off-duty officer told Alvin to stop, but the suspect ignored him and was placed under arrest. He was charged with indecent exposure, and released later that evening.

In July, Alvin was arrested after allegedly stealing his former boss' car, then crashing it while intoxicated, according to court records.

Public masturbation might be how some people get off, but that doesn't get them off the hook with police.

Kevin Bishop, a 44-year-old man with 64 arrests already on his record, was allegedly caught masturbating on a New York subway in 2009. He was charged with public lewdness, but pleaded not guilty. Bishop told police that his "private parts fell out."
"I looked down and it was out," Bishop said. "It just popped out! I was trying to put it back."

In September, Nathan Harrington allegedly gave his mailman a different kind of package when he was caught masturbating outside his home in front of the witness. He was charged with indecent conduct.

The mailman said this was the second time he had caught Harrington masturbating.