Humor

BREAKING - The Booth Volleyball Club is set to post its highest average height in over a decade upon a resoundingly strong recruiting season between winter and spring quarters. The team expects to break the 5’6” mark this spring, opening up a world of competitive possibilities.

“We were really stoked to add Victor Ojeleye to our team GroupMe. He boosted our average by a solid 1.5 inches” said Katie Trela, co-chair of the Volleyball Club. “It’s convenient that most of us don’t have to duck when we pass under the net, but we’re finally going to stop using that as criteria to join the team.”

The team is optimistic that its recently added membership will take it to new heights, with the hopes that they may even be able to win an individual game during next fall’s MBA tournament featuring several other top programs from around the nation.

Trela seemed confident describing the team moving into the heart of spring competition. “Having a few players that are able to get their hands above the net will really help us. With that and regular training, we should be able to beat, at the very least, Sloan…bunch of nerds anyway. Wait, don’t publish that.”

Trela was equally excited to announce that for the first time, they will also have nets up at their annual beach volleyball tournament in June.

“We really think having nets this year will up the level of competition. Apparently last year they just brought a bunch of beer pong tables and blacked out at Castaways. I mean, we’ll still do that, but the nets will be a nice addition.”

All signs point to an improved, prepared team. Trela also announced that the club had finished a year-long fundraising drive this April, finally providing them with the funds to purchase a volleyball.

Chicago Business is the Booth newspaper and online news source. Entirely student-run and published every two weeks, the paper is the "voice of the students." The publication updates students and alumni on all the latest Booth life, news, and humor.