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Hollywood Superstar, Shia Labeouf

I got pretty excited when news broke about a possible ‘zombie virus’. I’ve warned people for years about a zombie outbreak and how the world will be destroyed by these creatures. Some non-believers scoff at the idea and try to shrug it off with a silly explanation that “we are the zombies food source. When we’re all gone, they can’t survive.” If we’re all gone then we lost. The zombies have taken over the planet and the human race is no more. But that doesn’t mean they’ll die. They are already dead. They can’t die just from not eating. But other people can die from not eating. That’s the group we need to worry about. They may not take over the world like zombies can. A few handful of people may die and that would the end of it. Sure, the end of the human race is inevitable. It’ll happen. But not from zombies. At least not at first. It won’t be from the mysterious, planet X. Even Obama won’t be the end, even though he’s trying really hard. Folks, there is another reason the world is going to end. It’s happening now. It’s anarchy and this current craze is catching on. All the cool kids are doing it. This is the beginning. It all starts somewhere.

I am talking about cannibals. Much like a zombie, these folks crave the taste of human flesh. There have been numerous outbreaks these past months of people going cannibalistic crazy and biting down on friends, family, and homeless people. The most notorious case recently was the man in Florida that ate a man’s face off, eating it all the way to the bone. The victim, Ronald Poppo lost 75% of his face during this 18 minute attack. It turns your stomach when you look at what is left of his face. I don’t even know if I should say ‘face’. There isn’t one there. It was eaten completely away. The story became more of a scene of out of a horror movie when policemen had to shot him six times to take him down. He just wouldn’t go down. This is where the zombie virus took shape. It was going to be what people claimed was the end of days and the rise of the zombie army. Have the zombies risen from their graves? No, not yet. Will they? Soon. The culprit in this attack was bath salts, and a heavy dose of it from how crazy and psychotic the cannibal was. He was murdered and put down. As for Ronald, it’ll take months and months of surgery to get him a face again.

I read different news sites that kept comparing this attack to a zombie outbreak. Strange that professional sites would claim and try to confirm an official outbreak in Florida. Adding fuel to this fire, a man in New Jersey stabbed himself repeatedly with a knife. Plus, he threw his intestines at officers. Yahoo and other search engine sites saw searches for ‘zombie apocalypse’ and ‘zombie outbreak’ skyrocket to the number one most searched item of that day and the following. I am not going to lie. I even looked it up. I was curious as to what made the man, Rudy Eugene, eat away at another man’s face for no reason except to idolize and reenact the Donner Party. His mom claims he’s not a zombie. I’ve seen horror movies. That line is used far too often and what happens? Sure enough, said person who ‘isn’t a zombie‘ is in fact, a zombie. Sorry, ma’am. Your son is a zombie. Farther up the east coast, a man in Maryland killed his roommate and proceeded to eat his heart and part of his brain. These are the type of things that get people’s imaginations going. It wouldn’t have been such a big thing if all these random attacks didn’t happen within days and weeks of each

Why not be like the Canadian porn star who killed a man and chopped him up? The Canadian Cannibal sent different pieces of the body to different places around the country. Luka Rocco Magnotta (one of his many aliases), 29, was caught in Berlin. Lesson to all other serial killers and psychos out there. Never Google yourself if you’re on INTERPOL’s most wanted list. What makes his story even stranger graphic is the fact that he video taped the whole killing. He ate pieces of the flesh and even performed sexual acts on the corpse. If that doesn’t scream serial killer, I don’t know what does. If that doesn’t make you hate this guy, he’s also wanted for making kitty death videos. This dude was born waving a red flag. Even the mug shot to the left is a red herring. He doesn’t look very nice in that photo. That is the face of a sick son of a b**ch. There’s another bag of crazy to come out of Canadia.

With these four separate stories happening around the globe, you have to wonder if maybe, just maybe, the zombie apocalypse will soon happen. What if the cannibalism is just the beginning to the end? We were already given tips on how to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse. That was a year ago. Now the CDC is changing their story. The CDC is trying to smooth things over by telling us not to worry. They want us to think that they zombies aren’t going to rise up. They work for the government. The CDC will tell us what we want to hear. They aren’t going to tell us about the zombie virus that they secretly created and let loose to test it on human subjects. They aren’t going to say a damn thing. They’ll just go on the news and tell us that this is just a fluke. It’s just horror movie geeks with an unhealthy attraction to the zombie movie genre. If the government is lying about the existence of aliens then you can be sure the CDC is going to deny any knowledge or involvement with the zombie virus.

I am getting myself ready for the rising of the undead. If this virus, LQP-79, gets out of control and begins to infect more people, we’re doomed. I am sure the virus at its current state is just giving people the appearance of zombies but once this virus has time to grow and mutant it will turn us into what movie make zombies out to be – brain eating, undead, emotionless creatures. The story already broke on websites like the one to the left.

The end is coming. We all need to prepare. The end date is December 21st, 2012. The Mayan’s warned us of the day when all ends. While some have prepared, most of us are sitting around and doing nothing about it. If it is aliens, zombies, zombie aliens, or just like the movie 2012, we’ll all meet the same doom in the end.

The world is falling apart and we’re watching it happen. There will me more cases of ‘random acts of violence’. That’s what the government and the CDC will tell us. They aren’t going to let us know that these are all connected. We’ll know but before anything can be done about it, it’ll be too late. The government will be gone. Law will no longer exist. We’ll have total anarchy on the streets. I am just warning you. It will start with cannibals and after a few more folks get munched on, the virus will grow and mature into the advanced stages of the LQP-79 virus, or as I want to call it, ‘the extinction virus’.

Make sure you thank one person for this cannibal outbreak. Damn you, Hollywood Superstar, Shia Labeouf.