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Ramos Avoids Booking Over Street Brawl

Authorities intervened after Real Madrid captain Sergio Ramos clashed with Liverpool phenom Mohamed Salah in a “chance encounter” that turned nasty. Witnesses stated the soccer stars locked arms while jockeying for position on a crowded Spanish street. After a brief tussle, Ramos bodily twisted Salah to the ground. Salah called for attention from paramedics as authorities intervened. The altercation could jeopardize World Cup hopes for either of the players’ countries, but blame remains difficult to assign.

Salah argued that contact between the two players was unintentional. The Egyptian star traveled to Spain to treat a dislocated shoulder he suffered from a similar altercation with Ramos days earlier in the Champions League final. “The pitch is small, but I assumed the country would be big enough to avoid contact,” he explained. Spanish police hesitated to arrest Ramos, who has an astounding number of career red cards but is also Spain’s national team captain. “Sure, it looks a lot like a waki-gatame arm-lock technique, which would normally qualify as aggravated assault,” acknowledged the police chief. “But we think Salah may actually have started it.” Regardless of the true circumstances, a party is bound to file charges.

Salah is planning to seek treatment elsewhere after his latest injury. Striker Luis Suarez invited Salah to Montevideo for rehabilitation in advance of Egypt’s opening World Cup match against Uruguay. “It will be important for him to be relaxed and tender,” Suarez stated before licking his lips.