Not that this will help us un-vomit our collective breakfast, but Nancy Grace says that her wardrobe malfunction last night revealed only a pasty, and not the sliced ham hock of a nipple that we all feared.

Grace tells TMZ … “When I got dressed, I was wearing Petals (nipple covers) and an industrial strength bra … my dancing dress also had a bra sewn into it.”

Nancy adds, “I have been judged guilty without a trial … I will go to my grave denying the nip slip.”

Oh no! Nancy Grace has been judged guilty without a trial?!? How unfair. How inconceivable that anyone would do such a thing. Surely she doesn’t deserve that. America, you’re guilty of prosecutorial misconduct! And Nancy should know, she’s an expert on the subject.