The high priest of the quarter-pounder, Shant Mardirosian doesn't flip burgers as much as worship them. That's why he's the Burger's Priest. For proof, look no further than the potential chain's not-so-secret secret menu, where you'll find mutant Big Macs like the Vatican City - a double cheeseburger sandwiched between two grilled cheese sandwiches ($11.49).

Unlike most fast food joints, the Priest doesn't try to pass off a frozen Yves's hockey puck as a house-made veggie burger. Instead, it offers the Option ($7.99), a patty fashioned from a deep-fried pair of panko-crusted portobello mushrooms glued together with molten American-style cheese. The Option's options include fried onions ($1.29) and complimentary ketchup or mustard. But don't dare ask for relish unless you want a sermon.

Turn an Option into a Noah's Ark ($8.99) with the addition of chili ‘n' cheese, or a Religious Hypocrite ($9.49) with a few rashers of bacon. See? Even vegetarian food goes better with pork!

Here's another secret: watch for a third Priest - King West and Portland? - in the very near future. Where next - Chinatown?