all of my life,
in every season,
You are still God,
i have a reason to sing,
i have a reason to worship

Monday, June 25, 2012

Thirty

I'm not sure how it happened, how those years flew by so quickly. Today I turn 30. I have friends who are thirty and beyond and I don't ever think of them as old, but the word takes on a different shape when it's in the context of ME. One of the girls who discipled me in high school was 26. I looked up to her, she was wise and super cool, but I remember thinking she was old. My mom had my brother at age 29 and me at 32. I've always been told that she "got a late start." So when I think of being thirty, it feels a little ancient. Like I should've reached some significant benchmarks by this point. But alas, my reality at 30 appears drastically different than I ever imagined.

I never would've dreamed that the Lord would say "quit your job and go to school." But I wouldn't trade it for the world. What a crazy ride the last year has been but one of the greatest opportunities to lean in and recognize my absolute dependence on the Father. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel (& that tunnel leads to Africa) and I am squirming with excitement.

I never would've dreamed that the Lord would provide a group of friends that would become my family. I fully believe I have the greatest community in the world. I could sit on my back porch with those people forever, their hearts blow me away. So blessed and very grateful.

I never would've dreamed up the word Africa, let alone the chance to live there. Its far beyond the scope that my small mind could've come up with. What a generous God to give me that story.

I never would've dreamed that this would be part of my world. But what a perfect reminder that my life is not my own and the sweetest freedom comes from surrender. Somehow it will be used for His glory.

It's easy to focus on the fact that my Plan A hasn't panned out but when I really step back and think about it, I'm so thankful it didn't. Because the truth is that He is God and I am not and my dreams are far too small and boxed in. He dreams beyond what my finite mind can conjure up and His dreams are always the better option. Why would I choose an amateur story teller when I have the greatest author in history offering me His version?

Fingers crossed for 60 more crazy, unpredictable, glorious years.

Eph 3:20 - Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever.