Monday, January 14, 2008

Apparently my brain is a prisoner in the black hole of 2007 (at least that's my excuse for waiting until yesterday to clear Christmas decor and delaying my Christmas cards until Valentine's Day '08--or '09?). So in the spirit of procrastination and lateness, I present the top five reasons I loved my dad this Christmas, a photoessay:

5. Revenge PhotographyWhen I was a senior in high school, I had my wisdom teeth removed during Christmas break. I remember what I wore to the surgeon's office: red plaid p.j. pants, a matching black t-shirt and my brand spankin' new Doc Marten boots. I swear those were once cool.

I also remember my mini-seizure when the anesthesia wore off. I remember tripping out on the car ride home and then, for the next few days, I remember spending a lot of quality time staring at the inside of my eyelids. When I eventually awoke and peeled the thick layer of crust from my eyes, I remember staring in the mirror at a stranger who wore my clothes, shared my hair color and who's face was overwhelmed by two gigantic cheeks. Then I remember tears.

Maybe my most vivid post-op memory was running through my house, screaming at the top of my lungs at my dad, who was trying to capture my bloating on film. He chased me to my room and tried to wrestle away the pillow crushed against my face. I held on for dear life; he got a picture of the pillow.

To this day, my dad loves revenge photography (resulting in an inordinate number of HORRIFIC pictures of me).

For this, I love my dad.4. Pictures of treesSince I can remember, my dad and I have ventured into the mountains to explore and snap pictures of aspen trees, pine trees, deer, clouds, mountains, etc. In fact, many of our family home videos feature still shots of mountains, my dad's wow-isn't-it-beautiful commentary, and my loud voice, just out of the picture, shouting "Look, Dad. I'm doing something. Videotape me. Daaaaaaaddddd!" Sometimes you can even see my fingertips in the shot.

Today, I love pictures. Why? Because of my dad (pictured here attempting to capture the entire 12-foot Christmas tree in one shot).

I love my dad for bringing in the firewood and building the fires. And for cutting down the forest with his own two hands. (And for teaching me how to operate an ax).

2. GT--OHHHHH!My dad's third child is named GTO. He lives in the garage under a cozy car cover. Chris has only met him personally once.

But that's okay because his picture is prominently displayed in the entryway alongside his famous quote.

I love my dad's third child.1. He's bring 'stashes backWhen I was a little girl, I had two crushes -- John Elway, with his gleaming horse teeth, and my dad, with his Tom Selleck-good looks. And while John was a football superstar, no one rocks chops and a 'stash quite like my dad. He works it.