Changes inside ME

I am a recovering nicotine addict today and the changes God has done inside of ME are amazing...I am growing up to be a mature adult INSIDE MY HEART AND MIND......setting boundaries...selecting friends that are grown up on the inside too...I don't accept TOXIC people anymore...taking on their responsibilities..... just so they will like ME....I am being taught that the CHOICES I make and the WORDS I speak...I will suffer the CONSEQUENCES in MY everyday life....I NEVER knew there was so much responsibility to ME...then to OTHERS...in relationships....to just enjoy the company of MY friends with no HIDDEN motives...it is REAL love to sit with another in silence and just enjoy quite....I am so grateful to ALL MY teachers here who taught ME by their WALKING THEIR WORDS...you taught ME to live without out using NICOTINE....in the beginning of MY recovery I just didn't believe I could live without NICOTINE... ALL of you here SUGGESTED to take it easy and read and blog.....NOT ONE PUFF EVER...N.O.P.E ....Thank you for helping ME to grow up inside and come and share also for ME...I was taught.... the H.O.W.....Honesty in myself.....Open-minded..... to remain teachable...Willingness to accept MY failures.....mistakes....joys...sorrows...and NOT USE NICOTINE as a way to cope or celebrate.....to NOT even think of NICOTINE.....to be HEALED IN MY HEART AND MY MIND.... which God renews daily for it is written ...I have the mind of Christ.....to think and remember God first...myself...then others...always letting love lead me and to share MY experience...I used to smoke 50 cigs a day to cope with the inside of me....NOW I pray and God leads ME to use the serenity prayer to cope with inside of ME and what is going on in ME....this MOMENT.... that is the emotion of sadness and gratefulness..... my friend Mary is in hospice with bone cancer....Mary says she trusts Jesus...she had love Jesus all her days and is grateful to have lived a long good life in Him....Mary always wrote notes...sent cards.....gave gifts of love away.....and made calls to any WHOSOEVERS.... to bring the joy and Jesus love....she did this to ME...unconditional love when I was sad inside and when we met at bible study...she gave me a love gift to let ME know I am loved by God and Mary...today I am able to accept...REALITY...and be very grateful to God and thank him for letting ME know such a beautiful inside adult woman.....CHANGES inside ME keep growing and growing to be just like MY Lord Jesus.....grown up on the inside and outside...thanks for letting me vent on my emotions in check.....please take what helps and let go of the rest.......gentle hug.

Thank you for being here Diane Joy, for sharing your recovery with us and for making all of us stronger. You have become a teacher in this, a leader. I know many of us are very grateful for that, I know that I am.

Wow Diane Joy you are amazing and what a wonderfully sincere and openly honest blog ! You are a beautiful person and You are following in the footsteps of your beautiful friend Mary and Jesus our Lord ! I pray for her I pray she remain in the peace and Joy of the Lord throughout her illness and if it is her time to go home to the Lord may He give her comfort I ask in the name of Jesus Christ . Gentle Hugs back to you and to your friend Mary .

Thank you Bonnie for the badge and most of all for all you have done for me and others here by your STAYING quit no matter what and teaching in love... love you my beloved Bonnie keep on keeping on... in Jesus name amen

So sorry about your friend, Diane. I know that you are in a lot pain. I am glad that you see the joy and beauty in your life, that she was such an important part of your journey. Life can truly be so bittersweet at these times. What an inspiring blog that you have written. I can feel your immense growth just reading it. Thank you for sharing! Big hugs!!

You have led with Love and Wisdom again, Diane Joy! I am so happy for Mary that she will soon be with the Lord and sad for all who know and love her for their loss! I pray that she be comforted through her pain as you are comforted through your pain of loss. Thank You for sharing your Heart and Mind! Big Very Gentle Hugs to you!