Thursday, 4 October 2012

The big bang theory???

We all have that one life-defining moment that is supposed
to make you who you are, determine what kind of person you will become and the
kind of life you will lead. I have been waiting for that moment for a long
time. And each time something happened and I thought the moment had finally
come , I would later realize that it wasn’t the one, and the same thing would
happen with the next one and the next, and the next.

It’s just now that I realize that the moment passed a long
time ago for me, around twelve years ago to be precise. Sadly, it was not a
positive moment I’m afraid, and it left me with my guard constantly up, and I never
realized till recently that it was something I had to recover from. But here’s
the thing, I realized that it was there. I realized that it was negative, and I
realized that it had affected me.

But I’m healing. And working on myself daily, and sometimes I’m
really impressed by how far I have come since the realization. Maybe its just
growing up, you just become somehow more accepting of yourself and more
realistic the more you mature, yes, it’s possible, but I believe it’s more than
that. It’s the smaller moments that have come my way that continue to sand
paperaway all the sharp corners that
the bigger moment left behind. And I have learnt to find my joy in those
smaller moments, be it laughing a little louder than I used to, crying over an
ex that I’m not over, lunch with the fam, playing in the rain…I may never get
my big moment ever again, but I know that it’s the smaller moments that have
made me who I am today, and they are the
ones that will continue to shape me till the day that I die.