11 years ago today, things changed. I recalled my experience and was amazed at how real my memories are.

World Trade Center Building 1

During the summer of 2001, my close friends got married, and, after the honeymoon, they moved into their apartment in the same complex I lived in and life was grand. My friend and I would ride our motor bikes, he and his wife, and my fiance (now wife, Kari) and I would go on double dates; it was awesome.

Then, in August, they decided on a whim to move back where there families live…1200 miles away. This broke my heart because I knew he was saying goodbye to his dreams. It also was very difficult personally to have close friends move away.

Well, the night of September 10th, I dreamed about my friends. I dreamed that we were back together again and having fun like we used to. And then I woke up. I was sad and irritated that the joy I had just experienced was only in my dreams. So I did what I typically do when my heart was heavy – I read my Bible.

That morning was particularly fitting. I read about how Israel had its temple, the symbol of the relationship the Israelite people have with God, completely destroyed. In essence, their entire existence was shaken because their temple had been demolished. Their identity was tarnished and it was bad news.

What I gleaned from that passage was that change is inevitable. I guess I’d better get used to it.

In an eerily ironic fashion, my phone rang at the precise moment I closed my Bible. My Dad was on the other end of the call and told me I needed to turn on the news. I don’t watch the news and I never have (as a regular occurrence), so I was taken back that my Dad even suggested I turn it on.

He knows I don’t watch the news, I thought to myself. What in the world is he wanting to me to see? We’re in different time zones – what sort of news would we both be able to see?

As I turned on the news, I watched the plane fly into the South tower of the World Trade Center. While I had no idea what happened or why, I found myself immediately in a total sense of calm and peace.

Oh yeah, change happens, I remembered from just moments earlier.

While I am absolutely not trivializing the needless and tragic deaths of the 2,752 people known to have died in the World Trade Center events alone, I am simply stating that we don’t have to attach the meaning we once attached to the iconic buildings that once stood tall in Manhattan.

My heart and prayers go out to the countless lives that were forever changed 11 years ago today.

My wife and I have taken our kids to Disney for the first time. In short, it’s simply amazing!

While riding the tea cups (the ride where you control how fast you spin), I gave my kids some helpful advice. I said, “If you’re getting dizzy, look at my nose, and don’t take your eyes off.” Upon sharing, it dawned on me: this is what we need to do when life seems to be spinning out control.

Photo courtesy of iStockphoto: http://jonathanlazar.com/istock

In my own life, when life gets crazy, it’s usually because I have taken my focus off God, as He’s my source and strength. If that’s different in your life, the principle still applies. Focus on what matters: family, faith, hope, etc. Doing so will surely keep you from getting sick during hectic times.

What do you focus on when you feel out of control? Does it help or hurt your situation?

I had a close friend of mine visit from Pennsylvania this weekend. It was wonderful being together. We went to the same chiropractic school, studied similar specialties, are both married, self-employeed, and have three kids. Very few people are so similar.

Photo courtesy of Istockphoto: http://jonathanlazar.com/istock

While my friend and his family were visiting, I noticed a few things:

I needed him here to have conversations with someone who ‘gets it’. He understands what it’s like to be facing some of the issues I deal with. Having time with him helped me feel understood and valued.

He needed to be here so he could bounce ideas off me. I run a different practice than he does, and I do things differently with my time than he does. To hear how someone does it differently helps us question our reasons for doing things, and, thus, helps us grow.

Our wives needed time with each other. They both deal with husbands who are unusually passionate about their work, they both work outside the home (one part time, one full time), they both have small kids to care for, and they both have similar interests.

Our kids, a combined six of them, needed to spend time together. All their daddies are chiropractors, all their mommies are incredible servants. They needed time with kids whose parents share similar values, and they needed to play hard with kids who are happy, healthy, and ready to play at 200%.

Not having our needs met means we’re not available to serve others at our best. Think about it: when you’re on a jet, you are advised to place your own oxygen mask on before you assist a child. In the same way, when we have our needs met, we can serve others from a position of wholeness. Being around others who are safe also helps us to validate our ambitions. When we know we’re not alone, we feel safer and more empowered to keep moving forward.

This weekend, my wife, myself, and our kids had our need to connect met. We are going into a busy week full, rested, and ready to serve. Community is a vital part of who we are. Look for opportunities to live in community. Here are a few suggestions:

Have a ‘date night’ where you will spend time with other couples. Your season in life will determine these guidelines. Kari (my wife) and I make it point to intentionally be with other couples at least twice per month.

If you go to church, look for a small group setting that has other people in a similar life stage. The support will be unbelievable.

Find service opportunities where you can give back using your gifts and talents. We know, “it’s better to give than receive.” We also know, “to whom much is given, much is required.” Give of your resources with a cheerful heart.