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A NOUN, A VERB AND POW - a preview of the upcoming debates between Senator Obama and Senator McCain.

Moderator: Senator Obama, Senator McCain, thank you for coming before the American public to present your policies and reveal your thoughts on America's many many challenges in the 21st century. And without further ado we shall jump right into the first question which is directed at the good Senator from Arizona. Senator McCain, would you please tell us your position on leaving Iraq?

McCain: I was a POW at the Hanoi Hilton. I'm against it.

Moderator: Excuse me Senator but what does being a POW have to do with Iraq?

McCain: Nothing and I was a POW at the Hanoi Hilton for 5 long agonizing years.

Moderator: Yes, I understand.....Senator? Do you need a hanky? Perhaps some time to collect yourself?

McCain: No no....sniffle....it's nothing. You should try spending 5 years as a POW being tortured.

Moderator: Well, my heart goes out to you Senator. Perhaps we should move onto another question.

McCain: Yes, that would be nice.

Moderator: Please tell me then Senator McCain, what is your position on abortion.

McCain: When I was a POW in Vietnam, I always thought how precious life is and how evil abortion is - even in the case of rape.

Moderator: I see. And so you would appoint a conservative pro-life judge to the Supreme Court?

McCain: Definitely. But before that I would return to Vietnam and tour the hell hole that I was imprisoned in for 5 long years - all for the sake of our great nation.

Moderator: I see.......Senator Obama, could you please tell the viewers your position on abortion.

Obama: I believe every woman has the right to choose, especially I might add, in the case of rape. I will not nominate a judge that does not take into consideration the rights of individuals. And I refuse to support a State that seeks to assert its will over it's citizens.

Moderator: Thank you Senator. Now I will turn to Senator McCain. According to most experts, your plan to drill for oil would do little if anything to bring down the price of gas for the next 10-12 years. Why do you remain steadfast in supporting a bill to open up environmentally sensitive areas in the Outer Continental Shelf?

McCain: When I was a POW I use to think if I had a drill I could drill a hole and get out of this rat hole. No human should have to suffer as I did during those awful years. But of course I endured it all for God and Country - for 5 excruciating years! Did I mention 5 years?

Moderator: Repeatedly.

McCain: Well anyway, if I had a drill I would bore a hole in the earth and tunnel my way out. And if I hit oil all the better.

Moderator: That is your answer, Senator?

McCain: Yes.

Moderator: Senator Obama?

Obama: First we have to start developing alternative sources of energy with an effective infrastructure to wean America off oil. We can no longer allow our dependency on foreign oil dictate foreign policy. It's time for America to move into Solar Energy, Wind Energy, Bio-fuel, Wave Energy and Geothermal Power. However, drilling in the Outer Continental Shelf will yield little if any benefits to the consumer; that isn't however to say that an energy bill couldn't be crafted to utilize off shore oil reserves as long as strict environmental guidelines are in place. But this would have to be supplemental to a strong Alternative Energy Plan - not paramount to it. However, it is also incumbent on oil companies to start drilling on the millions of acres already leased to them, areas which have already been cleared by the EPA.

Moderator: Thank you Senator Obama for that concise answer. And now lets move onto Social Security. Senator McCain, at the current rate, by 2012, Social Security will pay out more in benefits than it collects in revenues. This is a serious matter since it could cause Social Security to go bankrupt and in turn threaten America's many old.....

McCain: Did you say old? You know, when I was a POW and sitting in a small dank 6 by 8 cell for 5 brutal years, I use to think 'God I feel old. Americans don't know how lucky they got it. No social security when you are rotting in prison for the good of your country.'

Moderator: And.....you are for?

McCain: Privatizing Social Security.

Moderator: I see. Senator Obama?

Obama: We have ignored Social Security too long and when I am president...

McCain: Excuse me but can I go to the bathroom....as a POW all I had to do was go stand in the corner and relieve myself. Sure it wasn't very hygienic but it was for the good of our nation. Any patriotic American would have done the same thing. If I had to do it all over again I would do it in a heart beat. That's what makes a good president - patriotism.........

McCain: ............I remember once while drawing crosses on the floor of that dirty, smelly cell and said to myself no one deserves the Presidency more than me - someone who suffered so dearly for their country. And be damned if I'm going to let America forget it about it. That's why I want to privatize Social Security. And another thing, when I was a POW for 5.................................

Posted by: woody | August 26, 2008 8:58 PM

A NOUN, A VERB AND POW - a preview of the upcoming debates between Senator Obama and Senator McCain.

Moderator: Senator Obama, Senator McCain, thank you for coming before the American public to present your policies and reveal your thoughts on America's many many challenges in the 21st century. And without further ado we shall jump right into the first question which is directed at the good Senator from Arizona. Senator McCain, would you please tell us your position on leaving Iraq?

McCain: I was a POW at the Hanoi Hilton. I'm against it.

Moderator: Excuse me Senator but what does being a POW have to do with Iraq?

McCain: Nothing and I was a POW at the Hanoi Hilton for 5 long agonizing years.

Moderator: Yes, I understand.....Senator? Do you need a hanky? Perhaps some time to collect yourself?

McCain: No no....sniffle....it's nothing. You should try spending 5 years as a POW being tortured.

Moderator: Well, my heart goes out to you Senator. Perhaps we should move onto another question.

McCain: Yes, that would be nice.

Moderator: Please tell me then Senator McCain, what is your position on abortion.

McCain: When I was a POW in Vietnam, I always thought how precious life is and how evil abortion is - even in the case of rape.

Moderator: I see. And so you would appoint a conservative pro-life judge to the Supreme Court?

McCain: Definitely. But before that I would return to Vietnam and tour the hell hole that I was imprisoned in for 5 long years - all for the sake of our great nation.

Moderator: I see.......Senator Obama, could you please tell the viewers your position on abortion.

Obama: I believe every woman has the right to choose, especially I might add, in the case of rape. I will not nominate a judge that does not take into consideration the rights of individuals. And I refuse to support a State that seeks to assert its will over it's citizens.

Moderator: Thank you Senator. Now I will turn to Senator McCain. According to most experts, your plan to drill for oil would do little if anything to bring down the price of gas for the next 10-12 years. Why do you remain steadfast in supporting a bill to open up environmentally sensitive areas in the Outer Continental Shelf?

McCain: When I was a POW I use to think if I had a drill I could drill a hole and get out of this rat hole. No human should have to suffer as I did during those awful years. But of course I endured it all for God and Country - for 5 excruciating years! Did I mention 5 years?

Moderator: Repeatedly.

McCain: Well anyway, if I had a drill I would bore a hole in the earth and tunnel my way out. And if I hit oil all the better.

Moderator: That is your answer, Senator?

McCain: Yes.

Moderator: Senator Obama?

Obama: First we have to start developing alternative sources of energy with an effective infrastructure to wean America off oil. We can no longer allow our dependency on foreign oil dictate foreign policy. It's time for America to move into Solar Energy, Wind Energy, Bio-fuel, Wave Energy and Geothermal Power. However, drilling in the Outer Continental Shelf will yield little if any benefits to the consumer; that isn't however to say that an energy bill couldn't be crafted to utilize off shore oil reserves as long as strict environmental guidelines are in place. But this would have to be supplemental to a strong Alternative Energy Plan - not paramount to it. However, it is also incumbent on oil companies to start drilling on the millions of acres already leased to them, areas which have already been cleared by the EPA.

Moderator: Thank you Senator Obama for that concise answer. And now lets move onto Social Security. Senator McCain, at the current rate, by 2012, Social Security will pay out more in benefits than it collects in revenues. This is a serious matter since it could cause Social Security to go bankrupt and in turn threaten America's many old.....

McCain: Did you say old? You know, when I was a POW and sitting in a small dank 6 by 8 cell for 5 brutal years, I use to think 'God I feel old. Americans don't know how lucky they got it. No social security when you are rotting in prison for the good of your country.'

Moderator: And.....you are for?

McCain: Privatizing Social Security.

Moderator: I see. Senator Obama?

Obama: We have ignored Social Security too long and when I am president...

McCain: Excuse me but can I go to the bathroom....as a POW all I had to do was go stand in the corner and relieve myself. Sure it wasn't very hygienic but it was for the good of our nation. Any patriotic American would have done the same thing. If I had to do it all over again I would do it in a heart beat. That's what makes a good president - patriotism.........

McCain: ............I remember once while drawing crosses on the floor of that dirty, smelly cell and said to myself no one deserves the Presidency more than me - someone who suffered so dearly for their country. And be damned if I'm going to let America forget it about it. That's why I want to privatize Social Security. And another thing, when I was a POW for 5.................................

Posted by: woody | August 26, 2008 8:57 PM

The McCain houses story doesn't move me, nor does hyper-partisanship. Nevertheless, I will be casting my vote for Obama in November.

It turns out that this isn't the first time the issue of John McCain's lavish multiple residences has emerged in the heat of a campaign.

"In 1986, when then-Rep. McCain was running for the Senate seat vacated by Barry Goldwater, he quietly began remodeling a $500,000 house in central Phoenix owned by his wealthy father-in-law James Hensley. The $225,000 project -- which included the construction of a 4,000-square-foot addition, swimming pool, jacuzzi, cabana and barbecue -- held political peril for McCain, who was already fighting charges that he was as an opportunistic carpertbagger."

"The new house was located in Phoenix's fourth congressional district -- outside of the first district in Tempe which he represented at the time."

"AP caught wind of the work at 7110 North Central Ave. shortly before the general election and dispatched a reporter to examine blueprints at the planning department. They found the permit applicants were listed as Hensley and a mysterious "Mr. Smith."

"The reporter tracked down McCain's plumber, who told him he'd been told Mr. Smith's first name was "Eldon."

Good old "Eldon"...I mean John, didn't want people to know that he was planning to leave his congressional district - and also wanted to hide the cost of his lavish quarter-million dollar rennovation plans - so he came up with a ridiculous nom de maison, hoping to keep his plans buried under a sockpuppet. Of course, this might help explain why he lost track of the number of homes he's got.

Barack Obama has been remarkably open about his entire life story - a bio which has been subjected to endless scrutiny. But if there's anyone whose background we should be "unsure" of, it's John McCain's. I, for one, would like to learn about what else he's done in his life under an assumed name.

Posted by: Drain You | August 26, 2008 7:39 PM

I'll bet that somewhere in Boulder or thereabouts, there's an amateur chemist skilled enough to parse this (which baffles me): "The energy penalty for changing the hexahydrate of divalent manganese to a pentahydrate with one water molecule in the second coordination shell is intermediate between the high value for magnesium and the low value for zinc." (It has something to do with the differences between magnesium, manganese, and zinc as fertilizers for plants).

Unfortunately, that amateur chemist's best work is probably illegal - not because it makes bombs, but because it makes people euphoric.

What a country!

Posted by: OfficerMancuso | August 26, 2008 7:12 PM

According to Mccain "I don't want any cu*t going be in my white house".

Posted by: 1-800 FMc-cain | August 26, 2008 5:03 PM

Do you think McCain will attract MORE of Hillary supporters if he chooses a female VP especially since Obama has not been able to reach Hillary’s 80% of the forgotten people?

Inside sources say Obama's recent plane trouble was an orchestrated publicity fraud to gain public sympathy and take away attention from his pattern of distracting and polarizing the public with playing the race card and the rich against poor card. Apparently Obama is full of them!!!!!

Posted by: Anonymous | August 26, 2008 4:44 PM

An extremely bad day for the Baracky Hussein Obama campaign.

After all this time and wait, he chooses a man (Joe Biden) with the personality of a "dead fish" - and that is putting it mildly.

I can't believe that Baracky Hussein Obama did not even consider Hillary Clinton.

I can only assume that he believes that he has the women's vote locked up.

I hope that all Hispanic voters realize, that they will be at the bottom of the barrel if Baracky Hussein Obama is elected in November. He will have to pacify the black electorate after receiving 99 % of their vote.