Archive for the ‘Girls’ Category

[The sexual marketplace] is beginning to favor the much older man/younger woman pairing.

I will illustrate. I am a 52 year old white man, and am currently dating a 21 year old white woman, and a 24 year old white woman; simultaneously. I met both online, thru a dating site. I’ve gathered from both that their attraction to me (I do look a few years younger and can pass for mid-forties, and this is a prerequisite I believe) is in their expectations that I am more old school masculine than the younger men they can choose from in their pool. But there’s another reason I’ve picked up as well – and that is the expectation that the older man is not part of the pump-n-dump crowd (little do they know) of which the predominance as of late has been making these women feel cheated out of what they consider to be quality relationships. What they are looking for, in response to what they have been enduring their entire sexual lives, are for men to consider them in a more serious LTR light – never mind that they don’t deserve it. Putting off a muted version of this vibe while at the same time reminding them of the overall beta-flavor of their respective man-circles has done wonders not only to score with these two women, but in my favorable responses from other under 25 female prey when approached.

Could we be seeing the response from women to game – in the wider acceptance of the older man/younger woman pairing. Time will tell.

Effeminizing Millennials works to the sexual market advantage of older, more masculine men who haven’t yet learned of the wonders of the brony, male feminist, and transsexual anime lifestyles. But nash2z hits on another explanation that may be more pertinent: There are some younger women who crave a rock solid relationship. Whatever the objective reality, I would bet that older men do give off a “I’m capable of, and willing to, form an adult relationship with a woman who meets my stringent criteria for a worthwhile lifelong mate” vibe.

By filtering for these kinds of younger women tired of the dating scene, the older man can increase his meet-to-lay-to-love ratio. Beyond this implication, it’s a hypothetical exercise whether the acceptance and utilization of game by cad hopefuls will drive significant numbers of women into the arms of older (or younger) men who signal their readiness for more serious commitment.

Like this:

Have you ever had to deal with an annoying girl who answers a question with a question, like she’s trying to put her tier 14 law school degree to use? A reader laments:

Thanks so much for your blog. I’ve read it for at least 5 years, and learned a lot. Lost my virginity at 18, so not a natural, but have banged 25 chicks in the last five months in South America by learning from your blog and others’, going to a spot suited for me, and generally improving myself.

At this point, I mainly worry about specific issues that crop up over and over. One is that I’ll text a girl an invitation, and she’ll ask a follow up question about it instead of answering. I call it the redirect rejection. Examples from tonight:

A girl I hooked up with 8 years ago and have seen twice since. Really.

Me: Better for me. I eat brisket like a glutton. I watch the game. They get you drunk. You come after.
Her: I can’t drink alcohol. (First redirection)
Me: Pregnant? (Plan to get back to the invitation, but first thought I’d tease)
Her: hahhahaha
Her: hahahaha
Her: Can I drink alcohol before traveling?
Me: No. No you can’t. You have to arrive skinny for more contrast with Americans.
Her: Hahahaha
Me: You drinking was the least important step. Most important is that I have my brisket and you come after. I will prepare you for your trip.
Her: What is brisket (second redirection)

Not expecting to see her tomorrow

——–

A girl whose number I got at a party and who I have invited out a few times with no success. I had given up. Tonight she texts me.

Her: Hey! You up to anything tonight?
Me: Working up the courage to ask me out? ;) (don’t chomp the beta bait, frame her as chasing, I toy with dropping the emoticon but I don’t want to discourage her)
Her: Hahahahah. Call it whatever you want.
Me: (stop fucking around and make the plans) Come by at 11. I have the best drink in town chilling in my fridge. Maybe you can convince me to go to [well-known club]
Her: What exactly is the best drink in town? (redirection)
Me: [Image of the bottle with the caption Trust Me]
Her: Haha. Alright. I’m sold.

expecting her in two hours

——-

A girl whose number I got out once. Never met up since. Been texting some. She went on vacation.

Me: [funny picture of me on a glaciar, I happen to be wearing tight jeans] are you back?
Her: I’m coming back.
Her: And that photo?
Me: A little present for you. Look how tight my jeans are.
Her: Hahahahahah
Me: I would send you a photo in my bathing suit but I don’t want to cause an accident
Her: hahaha good idea
Me: Let’s get together this week. There is a bar cafe I want to try.
Her: What bar? (redirection)
Me: The important thing is the company.

No response.

In only 1/3 did I turn around the redirection rejection, and that was when the girl had basically begged me to ask her out. Is the redirection rejection game over? I know that it means my game up to that point has been weak, but can I recover?

When a girl is in a positive mood and open to you, and she asks you which bar you plan to take her, it’s OK to just tell her, so I wouldn’t consider that last exchange a great example of the redirection rejection. You have to have a feel for when it’s in the interests of both of you to drop the banter and speak plainly. However, the first text snippet is a classic redirect. The reader made multiple meet-up offers, and she responded coyly to each suggestion with a lame question.

The redirection rejection isn’t game over, but it is game on life-support. She’s bored, maybe a little curious where this is going, but so far you haven’t excited her out of her resting female stupor. But she keeps the romantic possibility, however remote, open. Mostly to amuse herself.

If you are getting a lot of these redirection rejections, that means you’ve become predictable. Stale. She can see your friendly teases coming a mile away. She throws questions back at you because that’s her way of trying to extract a little excitement nugget from the conversation. She’s trying to amp the teasing to a level of edginess that makes her vagina feel alive. This is good news in one way: She’s saying you have a chance.

You need to surprise her. Don’t grace her questions with a relevant reply, like some earnest beta looking to solve all her problems. Instead, dodge and dislodge her hamster from its comfy resting state.

Her: Can I drink alcohol before traveling?
Me: Maybe you should stick with diet coke.
Her: Hahahaha
Me: You drinking was the least important step. Most important is that I have my brisket and you come after. I will prepare you for your trip.
Her: What is brisket (second redirection)
Me:

Be silly, be nasty even. The goal is a seismic shift of her emotional state from boredom to shock, dismay, and intrigue. If, after amping your alpha for a few iterations in this manner she still doesn’t make a firm commitment to seeing you, abruptly stop communication. If you can leave her with her last text dangling for a response, that’s good. She’ll be wondering why you didn’t reply, and it might upset her just enough to plant thoughts of you in her head for a week, after which she may be more amenable to your charms.

Like this:

Holding up a finger to the cultural winds carrying tingles aloft, a (probably) female reader writes,

Sia is a singer/song writer , ex–party girl with alcohol problems.

She wrote an interesting song, [Fair Game], which outline everything you have described at The Château.

I put in bold the interesting parts.

You terrify me Cause you’re a man- you’re not a boy
You’ve got some power And I can’t treat you like a toy
The road less…Traveled by a little girl
You disregard the mess
While I try to control the world
Don’t leave me
Stay here and frighten me
Don’t leave me
Come now enlighten me
Give me all you got
Give me your wallet and your watch Give me your first born
Give me the rainbow and the-So go on and challenge me Take the reigns and the seat
Watch me squirm baby But you are just what I need
And I’ve never played a fair game
I’ve always had the upper hand
But what good is intellect and nerve if I can’t respect any man
Yeah I want to play a fair game
Yeah I want to play a fair game

You terrify me
We’ve still not kissed
And yet I’ve cried
You got too close in
I pushed and pushed
Opened your bites
So I could run run
And then I did betray the dust
You saw those teeth marks
They weren’t all yours
You had been trusted to a history
That had not worked for me
Into a history from which I could not faceSo go on and shake me Shake until I give it up
When I am in doubt baby
I know that we could make some love

So go on challenge me
Take the reigns and the seat
Watch me squirm baby
But you’re just what I need
And I’ve never played a fair game
I’ve always had the upper hand
But what good is intellect and nerve if
I can’t respect any man
Yeah I want to play a fair game
Yeah I want to play a fair game
And I never played a fair game
I’ve always had the upper hand
But what good is intellect and nerve if
I can’t respect any man
Yeah I want to play a fair game
Yeah I want to play a fair game

I’ve always had the upper hand
But what good is intellect and nerve if
I can’t respect any man
I want to play a fair game
Oh, I want to play a fair game
I’ve always had the upper hand
What good is intellect and nerve if
I can’t respect any man
I want to play a fair game

Sia is a 39-year-old Australian singer who’s experiencing something of a career resurgence right now. Most of you would recognize her current hit song “Chandelier”. It’s catchy, visually arresting, and vaguely pedophilic.

Her gimmick of late has been wearing a veil covering her face from view during performances. She’s been quoted in interviews as saying the veil is a feminist protest against the objectification of blah blah trail of hamster pellets. A less charitable observer might say that 39yo Sia has suffered her first contact with the Wall and the veil is radical wrinkle-remover and career-extender.

From the beginning, women have been singing the praises of badboys. What’s more interesting, from a sociological perspective, is any noteworthy change in frequency of badboy odes, and in how those female singers opt to stylize their lyrical meanderings. Are the musical paeans to the allure of badboys prideful boasts, seeming almost like taunts aimed at the crushed hearts of lame-o betas? Or are female singers disguising their love for badboys under layers of obfuscating wordplay?

Tuning my ear snare to the pop starlet zeitgeist, I do think barely-concealed confessions of cravings for badboys have been on the increase recently. The weird thing is that this badboy exaltation is occurring simultaneously with a muddled feminist empowerment pop culture fad (think Katy Perry singing “you’re gonna hear me roar”). It’s as if women singers can’t make up their minds whether they want to be mistresses of the universe or just bound and gagged mistresses of a ZeroFucksGiven jerkboy.

If there is a social trend toward women freely expressing their deepest desires for hounds and heartbreakers, this reinvigorated female lust on public display may owe itself to the context within which pop singers, and their fans, circulate. As CH explained, a society that is bottom heavy with mewling, supplicating beta males would push women into the aloof and indifferent arms of alpha jerks. And when the bottled-up pussy pressure becomes too much to bear, even Wall-impact cougars like Sia can’t help but throw their natural romantic constituency — older, defeated, weak beta males ready to settle down with any old slutty cow — under the bus.

Women’s love for challenging jerks never dies, it just wistfully succumbs to a slow awareness of SMV self-depreciation.

Like this:

How is a wounded woman like a wounded animal? PA explains as he hoists the COTW trophy:

A nasty form of red pill involves thoughts of how to act when your woman has been through great trauma, rape or otherwise. A wounded human being is in a shitload of pain, in such cases psychic pain.

They say that you shouldn’t try to comfort a beloved dog that was injured by a car because its pain can cause it to bite you. External-source duress, usually financial, can turn a wife into a bitch.

There was an article a few years after the 9.11 attacks, about a middle aged woman, civilian employee at the Pentagon, who was badly disfigured in the resulting fires and how she copes with life. Her husband (photos from happier days were shown, they were both radiant) had left her after the disfigurement.

I was quick to fault the man for abandoning her. But now I wonder, did he try to ‘be there’ and she pushed him away? I don’t know. In the story she said she is not angry with him.

A man wants to be needed and many of us want to help the few people in our inner circle when they need us. When we were little and got hurt, our moms poured concerned affection on us, and in those recesses of our psyches lies a template for healing another’s pain.

But like the struck dog, does the traumatized woman lash out at those closest to her? Those with the hard task of ‘being there’ have to think about what she really needs. Soft care may not be it.

Yes, this is a deeply dark red pill to swallow. I’ve seen it myself, and I’ve experienced it: The lashing out of the hurt woman against those trying to comfort her. The proper response to the hurt woman is a nod of sympathy and a studied avoidance of getting entangled in her drama other than giving her time to cry it out, (and giving yourself a little distance from her bared claws).

Why is it not uncommon for traumatized women to push away their supportive lovers? It’s a mystery, but my theory is that it has to do with the natural revulsion men and women feel for sex role inversions. The caretaker and the nurturer is the woman; when a man eagerly tries to assume this role, it’s disturbing to women on a primal level. It’s similar to the aggressive career woman barging into a meeting ready to close a big deal. Men may admire her gumption in the abstract, but as a character trait it’s very off-putting to behold in a woman.

Another, related, possibility is the idea that a supportive man, in his readiness to “be there” for a hurt woman, inadvertently “betatizes” himself. He may be perceived less as a shoulder to lean on than as a cloying handmanlet who in his zeal to be helpful winds up reminding the woman of the source of her pain.

Traumatized men do this too, but it seems more common with women. Or perhaps, when it concerns women, it’s more shocking to men who witness it, given the pedestal-contoured presumptions that men hold of women’s receptivity to assistance in times of need.

Maybe there’s a reason why in large parts of the world women who are rape victims are considered sexual persona non grata. Could it be that, underneath the religious or moral justifications, men shun traumatized women because they know, instinctively, that those women will never be “right” as relationship material?

Like this:

A European man living in the US has a few thoughts to share about American women. He’s quoted in full.

******

So these are my thoughts from a West European man living in the US who had had multiple of women from all continents (my accent and looks cause a storm in the US)

I have read this quite excellent blog and it actually saddens me but does not disappoint me what is written here based on my own experiences.
Of course I speak in general terms, one of the stories above is about a German woman so exception do of course happen. Hence no comments about ‘ but I met a French lady and she blah blah blah’

Basically in short and across the board – American women are not worth shit. They are trash pure and simple and it’s only getting worse. I have had lots of success with them and the more I seduce, the more disappointed I am with them.
Hardly any white American women in their 20s know how to cook, very very few know how to flirt seductively, most of them are defensive tired manginas.
It is quite frightening how competitive white schoolgirls in the US are taught to be particularly in sports and they take this competitive nastiness into the workplace.
In short they are very undesirable and then we have the games. Oh the games – how any man can build a communication of basic trust with an American woman is beyond me.
From the very off if you interact with an American woman (even if you have zero interest) she will think – that you think she is amazing (they always pedestalize themselves) and automatically go on the defensive.
Then if she does like you – it’s play the games of not replying to your text, ignoring your text then replying. Hot/cold – again is she worth all this? Nope.
Certainly not future mother material if she cannot be trusted or show respect to respond to a text.

Also I find them very boring. One example only last week – in a bar met a very attractive Boston girl ( I find blondes from the East coast largely very boring) and she bored me for two hours.
The following night I met an attractive Latina and it was flirtatious, fun, lots of body contact and then dancing. A very enjoyable night.

Based on my experiences if you date girls from the Catholic countries in Europe – it is fun and an adventurous.
The girls are out to meet a future husband eventually for sure – but right now they want great, fun experiences – good food, travel, dancing, laughing.
I have met so many warm blooded amazing women who are fun, laid back, love children, fantastic cooks, great sensual lovers and definitely future mother material.

American girls leave university and it’s – find great job (check), find man (check) and the sterile life of consumerism and acquiring wealth and stuff begins. It’s tedious.

One of the problems is you American dudes in that you out up with this shit. The cheerleading thing still amazes me how this happens.
Kids start trying out to be a cheerleader as soon as they reach puberty and are out on a pedestal form that early age. Cheerleading (or slut training) needs to be stopped.
That will end the self -entitled narcissism of American females.

In short American females like to be treated rough as it taps into their puritanical guilt (spanking) feeling associated with sex but mainly because they like being treated like trash because they are trash.

******

This concept of female self-pedestalization needs more air time. It’s funny when an average-looking woman assumes a man who’s asking for her insurance info after she rams his car is hitting on her. That wee womanly hamster requires constant tending.

Look, American women aren’t as bad as this reader insists, but they are getting worse. I’ve heard similar surprised laments from European men mired in the American dating scene. Are all these guys irrationally spiteful? Presumably they have experience with European women, so they’re in a good position to compare and draw conclusions.

I’ve dated my share of European girls. Maybe my selection filter is sterling, but none of them were a horrible experience. I haven’t had that many bad experiences with American women, either, but then my threshold for what constitutes an irritatingly bad romantic experience is probably higher than what most men could tolerate or even enjoy. If you know women well, what makes them tick, you’re better prepared to brush off or redirect the eccentricities of their sex toward something mutually fulfilling. In fact, you come to enjoy their little games, because you deal with them as a mindfucker equal. As a man confident in his ability to swat away the natural female compulsions that so infuriate romantically naive men with less experience in the pooning fields.

Female courtship games are like “getting hotter/colder” signposts pointing you in the direction of pleasure, or away from it.

On the whole, I’d say the European women I loved were more feminine than their American counterparts, but I’d bet this reader is Spanish or Provencal French and has a distinct preference for the sunnier girls of South Europe, biasing him against white American women who are, mostly, Anglo-Germanic and thus by disposition colder and more careerist than the Southern Euro female norm.

That’s my hunch. I could be wrong. Certainly, there are Northern European men, especially the ones willing to live overseas, who like the exotic and are easily captivated by the raw, seductive vibe of women from milder, less crisply K, regions of the world. If this reader is one of them, then it’s not surprising he would be put off by American women who aren’t, underneath the hood, all that different than his native Northern Euro dating prospects.

In news that will prove to be relevant to this post once you think about it for a second, another American female teacher is accused of banging her high school students — six of them in total (she’s a busy gal). Female teacher pedofucking has got to be on the rise; there have been too many stories in the past few years like this one to count. Is it something in the water? Nah. I think what we are seeing is the leading edge of a culture speeding into full scale disintegration. As American men become more beta and androgynous, American women feel more intense cravings for psychologically dimorphic badboys. This slutty teacher phenomenon is an extreme manifestation of a general American woman romantic ennui caused by an enfeebling of the (adult, white) men available to them. Part of this male enfeeblement is itself caused by a legal and extralegal punitive bias against traditionally European expressions of masculinity.

American men are hamstrung, in other words. And it’s the result of a deliberate progressivist project as well as a self-imposed generational gelding.

Maybe the amplifying lust for jerks and the growing disgust for betas are hardening American women. Instead of coaxing women’s femininity to come out and shine, the badboys are having a grand noncommittal time exploiting a sexual market starved for their special brand of lovingkindness, and dispirited women are flailing to gain leverage against their own darkest, desirous urges. The Pillsbury Betaboys meanwhile are trying harder than ever, supplicating and prostrating themselves until all life is drained out of vaginas subject to their anhedonic pleadings.

The naive man dips his toe in the American dating scene and discovers the women are mannish, narcissistic killjoys, having surrendered their femininity on the altars of social media attention whoring, obesity, and careerism. The question hangs: Is it too late to fix American women? Or is the fate of the West shackled to the dead weight of all these androgynes?

Like this:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women are created unequally, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain divergences of appearance, that among these are Beautiful, Ugly, and Downright Hideous. –That to gloss over these divergences, Feminism is instituted among Women, deriving its magical thinking from the consent of the lovelorn. –That whenever any Form of Feminism becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of Women and their effete Male petitioners to alter or to reinvent it, and to institute a new Feminism Wave, laying its foundation on such irrationalities and organizing its powers in XXL vestment form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their glowing Self-Conception and freedom to Hallucinate.

***

You ever notice how the women who go on and on in high dudgeon about the necessity of consent are the women who are least likely to ever be in a romantic situation conceivably requiring their consent?

It’s almost as if…. almost!… unattractive, LSMV women glom onto feminist slogans to make themselves feel more desirable to men. The darlings. Not.

Like this:

Commenter blart observes that a girlfriend who has lost interest in keeping up her appearance is probably a girlfriend who has lost interest in her boyfriend:

Many of the girls I’ve gone out with always dressed hot, wore heels, make up for me. When we broke up…they went back to their old frumpy easy-going ways.

Girls like the feeling of working for something or someone…it’s in their nature to do so. Game is the key to unlocking that desire to submit.

this is an important point. a lot of girls get lazy and do the frumpy thing while they are with a guy. they try to say it’s just that they have gotten comfortable and feel accepted and loved by their men. but comfort like that is really just a sign that she’s not concerned with pleasing you anymore. she’s not afraid to lose you and she doesn’t care about your needs or desires.

you don’t want a girl so insecure that she’s freaked out with fear of losing you every day. that’s a nightmare so you have to give them some comfort. but when a girl stops making an effort to look good for you, she is in the power position. she’s either trying to discourage you from making sexual advances because you turn her off or she just doesn’t respect you or see you as a high value man who she needs to work to please. that’s a bad situation either way.

Comfort + Anxiety. Comanxiety. Cuminsideofme? YES.

The art of seduction is about bringing balance to the force. Too much anxiety will corrode a relationship just as assuredly as too much comfort, although the precipitating chemical reactions are different. (CH suggestion: If you must choose between cultivating anxiety or comfort, choose anxiety. The sex will be hotter, at least for the short, dramatic time you have left together. Plus, it’s easier to pull a girlfriend back from the anxiety brink than it is to push her out of a slippers-and-sweatpants sexless comfort bubble.)

Stay alert to those relationship red flags which indicate a woman’s fading love and peripatetic lust. Yes, women want to achieve maximum gravitational comfort within relationships, but women are also strangely their own worst enemies in their quest for eternal love and happiness. Women will work instinctively and incessantly toward neutering and domesticating boyfriends and enlarging their LTR comfort zone until, perplexed and full of resentment, they have lost all desire for their men. It’s up to men to guide women away from the equivalent of lesbian bed death, and they do this by taking the lead in and out of the bedroom, wielding psychological tools that would make Alinsky blush.

Love is a protracted psy ops campaign with generous benefits.

I should point out the exception to Blart’s Rule about the threatening portent of girlfriends abandoning self-beautification efforts. Be equally wary when your woman has a sudden and inexplicable surge of interest in dolling herself up. She might be signaling a desire to reintroduce herself to the wilds of the dating market.

I know this sounds like contradictory advice, but there are critical distinctions. Lust-curdling comfort zone laziness is a pattern that emerges slowly in a woman. You have time to recognize it and take actions to thwart its progression. Lust-activating makeovers that aren’t a direct response to your seductive wiles are severe relationship weather bulletins. This is usually a rapid change that will appear in a woman without much forewarning, sometimes overnight, and seemingly unconnected to any pattern in your own behavior. If you’re a typical boyfriend blob, and your girl starts the day with lipstick smeared in vibrant cherry eddies across her plump lips, something she hadn’t done during the previous two years, you’ve got competition lurking in the shadows of her snapper.