Defining Moments

Metastate is about honoring each other’s stories, no matter how different, and creating a more complete picture of our hopes, our fears, our dreams. We’ll share our conversations here and invite you to add your voices to the discussion. Pull up a chair and join us as we recount the stories and lessons of our lives…

Darrée: I see my life as a constant search for identity and even though I can’t quite articulate what that identity is, whenever it is questioned or threatened, I feel it rise up. Have you had this experience before, one of those moments that really forced you to wake up?

Maryn: I was living at an apartment that my family owned. One of my relatives lived there too and she never liked my boyfriend. One day she barged into my place while I was gone and started accusing him of all these outrageous things. My boyfriend said he would not be coming over again. After that, I had to make a decision. If I wanted to stay with him, I would have to take the leap and move out. It was a real way of putting myself out there for our relationship. I ran through the scenarios in my head…What if we got in a fight, where would I go? The thought of moving all my stuff from a two bedroom apartment to a much smaller space was overwhelming. I finally decided to go for it and we moved in together. It ended up being the best living situation I ever had. In a way, all my defining moments were like this.

It was so bad that it forced me to make a change I would have been too scared to make otherwise.

Darrée:Oh my gosh, yes! This past spring I broke down in my boss’ office. He asked whether I’d be around the following year and I said “yes” each of the three times he asked. But that day, when he asked me again, I just started crying. I’d been going through some tough questions throughout the week and it all just came pouring out. At the end of our two-hour long meeting, it was revealed unbeknownst to anyone (including myself) that I could no longer identify with being an elementary school art teacher. It was one of my lowest points ever and although I’m glad it’s over, I think it was incredibly necessary. After all, it brought me to this space, exploring and discovering this layer of identity I’m really searching for. Please tell me I’m not the only one who cries in their boss’ office…

Maryn:You are not the only one who cries in your boss’ office! My last job I had a crying fest with my former director and I even got emotional in a team meeting once and couldn’t continue what I was saying. I felt very similarly to you in that one moment I knew I was ready to move on. It’s funny how leaving our jobs or moving out on our own helped us make room for who we wanted to become. Maybe it’s these moments, when we’re pushed to make a decision about who we are and what we want out of life, that we find the courage to stand up for ourselves. The truth is we only have this one life to live and I think we all want it to mean something.