Real Life. Real Faith. Real Women.

If you’ve read my blog before, you’re likely familiar with how often I talk about mind frame and keeping a positive attitude. In my post about a victim’s mindset, we see how that mindset can be self-destructing. Important as all that is, there are times where it is healthy to stop and just feel the pain.

We’ve all had painful times in our lives. The loss of a life’s work, the loss of a friendship, a victim of abuse, you or someone you love fighting serious illness, the death of someone close to you, the death of your child, the death of a spouse, or in my situation, divorce. All of these can bring us to our knees. And while we may hate it, the pain is necessary.

There are five stages of grief, and grief would be felt in any of these situations.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

This can be a bit misleading, however, because it’s rarely felt in order and people will likely visit some of these stages more than once.

The stages of grief are what we experience. But what if we derail our grief? Would we ever move past the situation? Would we ever heal?

As you know, the tagline for my blog is “Real life. Real Faith. Real Women.” Well, prepare yourself, because I’m about to get real. I derailed my grief. One of the first things I did as a single: start this blog. I wrote about hard times, remaining positive, staying in the right frame of mind, etc. And I still think these are all important. But I missed something. I refused to let myself feel too much. Sure, there were moments I’d succumb to the pain. But then I’d say something to myself like, “Suck it up. You’re too blessed to be crying. You have kids and a job. You don’t have time for a pity party.” So I’d throw on a little mascara and a smile, and I’d go on.

By doing this, I’d done myself a disservice. I filled my days until they were so tightly packed that I ran out of time to do much thinking or feeling at all. I kept busy and gave the persona that I was doing well. Until one day I just couldn’t anymore. My body gave out. My mind gave out. I was so physically and emotionally exhausted from denying myself grief, that all I could do was lie there.

Deadlines suddenly didn’t mean a whole lot to me. I wasn’t concerned with keeping appointments. The kids even missed a couple of sports practices. It’s like I went completely out of commission. No matter what I did, or how hard I tried, I couldn’t hold back the grief. I tried reading uplifting things. I tried listening to the amazing podcasts that inspire me. But it didn’t work. And then, I cried.

Grief hit me like a tsunami and suddenly everything I’d tried to ignore for the last five months cashed into me and I crumbled. The pity party that I tell people not to attend, oh yeah. I threw one heck of a pity party for myself. I hated every single moment of it. I cried out to God. I yelled. I sobbed. I mourned the relationship I’d had for eighteen years. I mourned the future we should have had. I became angry. I fell into a black hole of desperation. And it was good.

I’ve realized that I have to let myself feel. There has been a significant change in my life. Of course there are feelings. Of course I need to deal with them. If we don’t embrace grief, we can’t heal. If we can’t heal, we will never move forward. We will stay where we are, carrying the weight of all we’ve lost. We’re not made to do that.

We must remember that Jesus came before us. He felt everything we’ve ever felt. Think about that. Our greatest joys, our greatest sorrows. He’s felt it all. We may think that no one understands what we’re going through, but I can promise you that at least one being does completely understand. Jesus.

Not only did He experience it, He showed us how to handle it. How often we forget that there is an instruction manual. We have the bible! He shows us how to handle the hardest of times with grace. He shows us by example how to keep the faith. He tells us 365 times not to be afraid. Ladies, we can’t get so lost in ourselves that we forget to seek Him. He is here with me through this. He is there with you through your struggles. We only have to allow ourselves to feel to know.

Grief is no joke. It hurts, and that’s a huge understatement. But it’s necessary. My grieving time is far from over, but I feel lighter somehow. I’ve moved forward. I’m beginning to heal.

We aren’t meant to do this alone. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone to help you through it. God created community for a reason. Churches everywhere will welcome you. There are support groups for every situation. And most of all, continue to seek the Lord.

Like this:

Several people have told me over the years, “I can’t quite figure you out.”. It’s true. I’m a bit of an enigma. By nature, I have the traits of an artist – messy, unorganized, procrastinator, can get lost for hours in writing or music – but by day, I work in an accounting department where I manage to stay organized and efficient. I struggle with anxiety and depression, but I love nothing more than to make people laugh and I tend to give off a “happy” vibe. And though I have a broken heart, I have a blog telling other women it will all be alright.

It’s easy to understand why one might be confused about me. But like you, I have many layers, many sides to who I am. We’ve all been through great times and hard times, and each experience has helped to shape us into the person we are. We have scars – physical and emotional – that we carry with us every day. We have triggers that bring up memories – pleasant and unpleasant.

Still, I’m often misunderstood. I get the impression many of us are. We form opinions on others. We interact with them once, maybe a few times, and then decide if we “like” that person. We may dislike their arrogance. We may judge a woman for her weight – too heavy, too thin. We may decide someone is a snob because she didn’t speak to us. We do this every day. We form our opinions based on interactions we have with them, or what we see of them. But allow me to challenge you here. Is it possible you don’t know the whole story? Is it possible your opinion is wrong?

Perhaps that “arrogant” person has been hurt by someone so deeply that what you perceive as arrogance is, in fact, a wall they built up to protect themselves? What if the woman who’s too heavy has a thyroid problem, and the person who’s too thin has someone whispering in her ear that she isn’t good enough until she loses more weight? What if that “snob” suffers from social anxiety because she was bullied growing up? We only saw one layer of these people instead of realizing there is a whole person in there, and then we judged them.

I am judged daily. I’m willing to bet you are too. I’m overweight. I’m a single mom. I’m a Christian. I have some gray hair. I color my hair to cover the grays. Sometimes I curse. Sometimes I lose my temper. Sometimes I fail. And every day, people judge me. And every day, people judge you. And every day we judge others. I know, I tried to deny it too. But if we’re being really honest here, we’ll see that we do. We’ve all been in situations where we’ve judged someone.

So how do we stop judging?

We have to look at them with our “Jesus glasses” on. Jesus showed kindness, acceptance, and love to all. The adulterer, the lame man, the poor, the list goes on. No one was below Him. We are called to live that way. He was perfect! He owed no one anything. If anyone had a right to judge, it would have been Him. But He didn’t. Who are we to think we have that right?

Stop participating in gossip. Someone is always talking negatively about someone. What is the point of that? What are we hoping will happen with that exercise? Do we want others to dislike the same person we dislike? Why? To validate our feelings? Do we even know what we’re saying is true? And so what if it is true? Our list of sins is long, is it not? Just remember while we’re talking negatively about someone else, someone is likely talking about us. One of my favorite quotes is by Eleanor Roosevelt, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

Pray for those who judge you. Ooh. This one is hard. It is human nature to want to argue your point and prove you’re a “good person”. I’ve been judged unfairly – I get it. And as someone who likes to be liked, it bugs the crap out of me when someone judges me. We have to remember, though, that their judgment is not a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of them. When we look at it from that angle, we realize that they need prayer. They may be lost. They need to see how Jesus treated the least of these. When someone has the love of Christ in them, and are truly seeking God, they start to view all people as His. Imperfect is perfectly okay. Jesus has got us covered.

In closing, I’d like to say that we all struggle in this area to some degree. Be prayerful about it. God will show you where you need to work on this. He’s helped me a lot in this area. And when you’re the one being judged, say a prayer. Respond with kindness. It isn’t enough to tell people we believe in a loving and forgiving God, we must live it. We must show it through our actions how much His forgiveness and acceptance has changed our lives.

“‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me’” Matthew 25:40

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

Like this:

For most, Mother’s Day is an emotional day. Some will wake up to breakfast in bed made by little smiling faces. Some will wake up to the normal hustle and bustle, and the most they will get is an “oh yeah. Happy Mother’s Day.” Some will wish they could hug their mom and tell her one last time how much she meant to her. Some will mourn a child they’ve lost. Some will wish they were a mom.

For me, a mom of 3 beautiful, healthy, sometimes ornery children, I will be given a gift and told I’m the best mom in the world. And I will likely cry because, c’mon, I’m totally not the best mom in the world, but it’s so sweet that they said it anyway. But, that’s not all Mother’s Day is to me.

I’ve been blessed to have several strong women in my family. My mom, who I talk to probably eight times per day and is my rock, is definitely someone to be celebrated. But I take her for granted every day. My bonus mom (step-mom, but bonus mom sounds way cooler) is amazing! She is generous and loving. But I certainly don’t call her often enough. Two of my grandmothers, who I’m so blessed are still around, are often overlooked in my daily runaround. My sister, who wants nothing more to be a mom, but God keeps saying “not yet”. All of these amazing women will celebrate Mother’s Day in different ways. Some with face-to-face fun, some with a phone call, and some with tears.

Regardless of your motherhood status, Mother’s Day is a day that has all the feels. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why we have what we have, or don’t have what we don’t have. Every journey is different and God has a plan. Still, we yearn to understand. Still, we try to trust.

To The Moms:

I know you’re tired. Trust me, I know. We go longer between showers than we care to admit. Our to-do lists are out of control. We live in our vehicles as we drive them from activity to activity. We do creative budgeting so we can try to give them what we didn’t have. We walk around in a “mombie” state from lack of sleep and self-care. We give, give, and give some more. Today, I celebrate you. I celebrate your endless love and sacrifice for your kids. I hope on Mother’s Day, you get a shower and a break. Maybe you’ll even get a meal prepared by someone else. Enjoy it. Enjoy your kids at the age they are because they grow up entirely too fast.

To The Grandmas & Aunts:

You are such a blessing to the kids and moms alike. It really does take a village to raise these little monsters, and we moms are so lucky to have you as a part of our villages. Today, we celebrate you and all you do to help out. You’re amazing!

To the Mom Hopefuls:

I can’t promise you that you will one day be a mom. I can’t tell you what God’s plan is. But I can tell you that His plan is perfect. He loves you beyond measure. This Mother’s Day, I celebrate you. Your heart for motherhood will be rewarded in some way. There are children all over who desire love and you have love to give. God can do amazing things with that. Keep praying and seeking His will. Don’t lose hope.

Women everywhere will celebrate Mother’s Day in some way. To each of you, I hope you know how amazing you are. I hope you recognize that you are making a difference to a child. I hope you understand that even on our worst days, when we’re sure we’re messing everything up, those kids are blessed to have you.

On this Mother’s Day, I celebrate you.

Children are God’s love-gift; they are heaven’s generous reward. – Psalm 127:3

Children, if you want to be wise, listen to your parents and do what they tell you, and the Lord will help you. For the commandment, “Honor your father and your mother,” was the first of the Ten Commandments with a promise attached: “You will prosper and live a long, full life if you honor your parents.” Ephesians 6:1-3

Dedicate your children to God and point them in the way that they should go, and the values they’ve learned from you will be with them for life. – Proverbs 22:6

Like this:

You know those times when it doesn’t just rain, it pours? The times where not just one or two things go wrong, but everything seems to go wrong? We try. Things fall apart. We try harder. More things fall apart. It can throw us into desperation, frustration, and sometimes depression. And while some might say all of this means you’re going down the wrong road, and you need to try something different or go in a different direction, I say it may very well mean you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

When we live life for ourselves, and focus on our own needs and wants, things are generally pretty good. But when we start to seek His will, begin to focus on where He wants us, do what He’s called us to do, that’s when we often find roadblocks and hardships. Seems backward, right?

If it’s His plan for us, why is it so hard?

The Bible Warns us. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. 2 Timothy 3:12 Sounds like fun! Where do I sign up? LOL. It’s a common misconception that once you become a Christian, life is easy peasy. It’s not. In fact, people who seek God honestly and humbly will experience hardships. But trust Him. His plan is perfect and if you keep going, the reward far outweighs any earthly hardship you’ll endure.

The enemy attacks. If you’re targeted by the enemy, congratulations! No, really. I’m serious. It means you’re about to make a difference. It means you’re on the path to furthering the kingdom of God. It means that you’re allowing God to use you. That is AMAZING! Well, it’s amazing to everyone but the enemy. He doesn’t like it so much. It’s never fun to be in the middle of a spiritual war. But, in one, we are. When he’s attacking you, respond with scripture the way Jesus did. It is written. God keeps His promises. No matter what lies the enemy is telling you. No matter what doubt he tries to plant in you. It is written. The spirit dwells inside of you. Respond with the words of our Lord. The enemy is powerless against them.

He’s teaching us to rely on Him. I’ve talked about this before in When Life Is More Than You Can Handle. We try to handle things ourselves. We’ve got this. He’s only God – creator of the universe, the one who knit me in my mother’s womb, but I’ve got this. I can handle this. Oh, but it’s always pride before the fall, isn’t it? The truth is, we do need Him. We just forget how much we need Him. Be humble, or He will humble you.

Some of you are kind of freaked out right now, right? None of this sounds fun at all. Well, hardships are never fun. Trust me. I’ve got a lot of them right now. And just when I think I can’t take anything else, when I think that God has somehow forgotten about me, or wonder if my efforts are making any difference at all, someone will reach out and tell me how my words have helped them. They’ll say things like “I really needed to read that today” or “you have no idea how much your blog means to me” or “you inspired me to go back to church”. Now, while these messages touch me and make me so happy, I know it’s not me. It’s all God. He is speaking to these people through me. It is the most incredible, humbling thing I’ve ever felt.

The truth is, when you’re living for yourself, and not seeking God’s will, you aren’t fulfilling your purpose. That will leave you feeling empty and unsatisfied. God has a plan for your life. And while the attacks aren’t fun, I’ll let you in on a little secret: God wins. It is written. I have read it. He has promised.

For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Matthew 23:12

And all nations will hate you because you are my followers. But everyone who endures to the end will be saved. Matthew 10:22

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28

Like this:

No matter what language you speak, there are certain things that seem to be understood universally: a smile, head nod, and music. In my opinion, music has magical powers. A song can take you to a different time and place. It can make you feel something deep and unexpected. Regardless of the language in which it’s sung, or if there are no words at all, music can lift you up, or bring you down.

As we grow, music begins to mean something different. For instance, when you become a Christian, worship music becomes a whole body and spiritual experience. And when you become a mother, you realize that some of the music you may listen to may not be all that appropriate and that some music now takes on a whole new meaning.

Suddenly, songs we sang along to absentmindedly, mean something. Now when we sing along with “Sweet Child O’ Mine” and “Forever Young”, we have all the feels. And then we come across songs like “I Hope You Dance” and “My Little Girl”, and we can’t help but think about our kids, their future, and how we only have them for a little while.

From the time my kids were born, I sang “Yellow” to them as we cuddled before bed. This is a video of my youngest and me singing “Yellow” together about 5 years ago.

I’ve compiled a small song list for parents. There are so many songs out there, but these are just a few that I love.These are songs about being a parent. About raising your kiddos to be the best people they can be. About how short our time together really is, and to cherish every moment.

Some of you are mothers, some step-moms, some grandmothers, some aunts – no matter what your title, if you love a child, these songs will touch you!

Free Song Download!

My daughter, who is a dancer, requested that I record “Dear Daughter” for one of her solo dances. And now, I want to pass this song on to you for FREE! If you want your very own copy of my version of “Dear Daughter”, click HERE to receive it right in your email inbox!

I know this is a short post, but I want you to spend some time just listening to these songs. With Mother’s Day around the corner, let’s celebrate the blessing of motherhood. Love and prayers to you all.

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed Luke 1:46-48

Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:25-31

Like this:

If someone were to ask you “who are you?”, what would be your answer? We often confuse who we are for what we do. For instance, I might answer, “I’m Kristy Wyatt. I’m a writer, musician, and (most importantly) a mom.” And while those are all parts of me and what I do, they are not who I am.

Who we are, and who we think we are can be very different things as well. People who don’t have a clear understanding of their self-worth will likely have skewed self-esteem also. This is something I’ve struggled with for years. When someone tells me I’m beautiful, I reply, “I’m fat.” When someone compliments me on a talent I have, I deflect the compliment by telling them something I’m not good at – like visual art, for example. I know I’m not the only one out there who can’t seem to accept that someone else sees something good in them. But, why? How did we go from the innocent child who accepted compliments as truth, to this woman who doesn’t believe she’s worth a whole lot?

I imagine the answer to that would be a little different for every woman out there. We all have our own stories. But I’m willing to bet money that we all have one thing in common: We’ve lost sight of who we are in Christ. Our true identities lie in Him. But we tend to look elsewhere for our self-worth and identities.

If God can see our worth, why can’t we?

We have let society influence us. We are constantly shown the disillusion of perfection. Magazines, television/movies, and social media have wiggled their way into our subconscious. We can’t help but compare ourselves to others in looks, finances, success – the list goes on. We forget that these things are not the whole truth. Often times, they’re not the truth at all.

We listen to the naysayers. If you’re like me, you have people in your life that are your biggest cheerleaders and those in your life who are your biggest critics. Constructive criticism is helpful. But there are those people who are perpetually negative. There is nothing positive in what they say. And yes, we tend to listen to these critics far more than our supporters. We need to remember that people who are overly negative and bring you down are usually projecting their issues onto you. Find a couple of people you can trust for truth. Be careful who you allow to influence you.

We’re disconnected from God. (If you’ve read this blog for any period of time, you’ll see this tends to be a theme.) When there is a disconnect with God, we lose sight of His plan for us. When we aren’t living out his plan for our lives, we start to feel as though life is meaningless. I’ve been in both places, and I can tell you from experience that when I lived life for myself, I had never been more unhappy or lost. But living my life the way He has led me to is giving me such purpose and an inner joy like I’ve never known before. Sure, I have a long way to go. But every day, when I spend time with Him, seeking His will, my skewed vision of my self-worth becomes a little clearer.

So, who are you? You are the daughter of the king. That’s right, love! You’re a princess. God loves you. Take a deep breath and digest that. He. Loves. You. What have we done to deserve His love? Nothing. His love isn’t based on merit, good deeds, or because we totally rocked the talent show in 6th grade. He loves us more than our human minds can understand because we are His. He has never seen anything more beautiful than you. He has never been more interested in anything more than His interest in you. He has never wanted to spend time with anyone more than He wants to spend time with you. Are you feeling special yet?

Most importantly, you are worth the cost of forgiveness. You were worth the price Jesus paid on the cross for our freedom. You are worth it.

I can’t stress this enough to you beautiful, talented, amazing women reading this post. You are worth more than anything. You are loved by the one true God. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. He knows how many hairs you have on your head. (Which, c’mon, changes constantly, right? #IShedLikeMyDog) He cares so much about you that He gave His only Son to make sure that He could spend eternity with you. Stop looking for your worth in things of this world. You are worth the love of God. And there is nothing greater than that.

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7

She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

God is within her, she will not fall. Psalm 46:5

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Proverbs 31:26

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. Song of Solomon 4:7

Like this:

Nervcited. It’s a word my daughter made up to describe how she feels before dancing at a competition. The combination of nervousness and excitement is apt for all kinds of situations. I heard some news today that caused my heart to stutter with absolute excitement and nervousness. I’ve sat here trying to write this post for a couple of hours and all I can think about is this piece of news. Seriously, guys. Nervcited is a thing!

I know this situation is completely out of my control. It’s in God’s hands. And though He is God, the creator of the heavens and the earth, it’s hard to let go and trust Him to take care of things. What we really mean though, is take care of things the way we want them. He always takes care of things. He is always working things out according to His plan, so why don’t we trust Him? We know that His plan doesn’t always align with ours, that’s why.

We’ve all been down this road. We all think we know exactly what should happen. We all make our plans. And then BAM! Things go the opposite way we expected them to go. Due to this, we tend to get a little nervous about trusting God when the stakes are high. But that’s when we should be thankful He is in control.

We often forget that God is much bigger than our mountains. Maybe it’s because we can only see the mountains in front of us. We let fear of the worst case scenario scare us into anxiety and mistrust. But God isn’t a mere human. God is God. The creator of all things – the creator of you and me. He loves us with an intensity we can’t comprehend. If there is anyone we can trust, it is God.

Still, we get stressed out and anxious. Giving things to God – trusting Him to take care of situations is difficult. But we have to for our own wellbeing. If we try to control things that are out of our control, it can have a profound negative effect on our wellbeing.

So how do we give it to God?

Pray about it. I know – obvious. But how are you currently praying about these things? Does it go something like “God, pleeeeeaaasssee make this happen” or is it more like “God, you know the desires of my heart in this situation. God, I know that you have the power to make this situation turn out the way I want it to. Lord, as much as I want this to go my way, I’m giving it to you. I turn over my attempt at control and trust that you will make this go according to your perfect plan. God, I trust you.”

Trust Him. The words we pray are mere words unless it’s backed by trust. Do we really trust Him to take care of it? If not, we need to dig into the word. I mean this with so much love when I say, if you don’t trust God, there is a disconnect somewhere in your relationship. We all know that any disconnect in our relationship with God is on our end.

Accept the outcome. In the event our situation doesn’t go in the way we would have liked, how do we react? We might be mad at God – and that’s okay. But ultimately, we have to realize that He knows best. Maybe He was protecting us. Maybe He has bigger and better plans for us. So often we let these things affect our relationship with God in a negative way. I challenge you to trust that He only wants what is best for us. He will never leave nor forsake you.

Remember, God is mad about you. There is nothing He wants more than a relationship with you and your faith in Him.

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved Psalm 55:22

“For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you’” Isaiah 41:14

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you 1 Peter 5:6-7

Like this:

In my previous post, 3 Ways To Make Time For What Matters Most, we discussed why we seem to have less time and how to make more time for the most important things in our lives. However, even with taking those practices into account, we may still find ourselves overwhelmed with our to-do lists. We tend to think about home schedules and to do lists while we’re at work, and think about work while we’re at home.

How do we balance work life and home life?

Stop using the word “balance”. The definition of “balance” is an even distribution of weight of someone or something. Work and home are not, and should not be, even, and therefore, our time should not be evenly distributed between the two. Rather, take a good honest look at how much time we should be spending at work/working and how much time we should spend at home. Once we have that nailed down, we can schedule that time to maximize our productivity.

Be 100% present. We can’t be productive if our head isn’t in the game. If we’re working, but can’t stop thinking about if little Johnny’s baseball uniform is clean for the game, how productive can we be at work? And later, at the game, we go ahead and check our work email and miss Johnny hit a home run! When we’re at work, be at work. When we’re at home, be at home. We have to make sure that our minds are at the same place our bodies are.

Make lists. There will be times when our brains wander off to home and/or work when we’re not there. Usually, it is something important that we shouldn’t ignore. Write it down. Keep a running list on your phone for work and one for home. When you think of something, add it to the list, and then go back to being present. This way you won’t forget that important thing, but you’re giving yourself permission to keep your attention where it needs to be.

How do we get the most out of our time?

Block scheduling. This is new to me and I’m loving it! This form of scheduling takes our cyclical tasks and blocks them together. For instance, if we spend thirty minutes every Sunday to make a weekly meal plan, spend an hour and plan the whole month. Go ahead and make the grocery lists too.

Schedule Social Media. Have you ever found yourself sitting there, scrolling through Facebook, mouth slightly open, and have no clue what you’re looking at? No? Is that just me? When we scroll aimlessly on social media, we can actually go into a trance-like state, and not even see what is in front of us. We waste so much time watching videos we don’t care about when that time could be spent doing something productive. But… it’s fun! I get it. I love social media too! We just have to be mindful of how we use it. Schedule thirty minutes to respond to notifications, and scroll social media. Once the thirty minutes is over, stop. It’ll be hard at first, but eventually, you’ll love it!

Turn off phone notifications. What?! Am I crazy? Not in this case. I can’t tell you how many times I find myself glancing at my phone because a notification popped up. New email from Target, New message on Facebook, so-and-so liked your photo on Instagram. I made a tally mark for each time a notification distracted me from my work one day. 33 times, I stopped what I was doing to look at my phone because I saw a notification pop up in my peripheral vision. 33 times! These distractions are giving us a new version of ADD. Turn them off. Schedule a time to check/respond to email. Schedule your social media. Don’t let it distract you from doing what you need to accomplish.

Check your schedule before bed. Make sure you double check everything the night before. This helps to mentally prepare you for the next day.

These are small, but mighty tips in making sure your home and work lives coexist in a healthy way. Everyone wants a piece of our time. It’s our responsibility to make sure we protect our time and spend it where it matters most.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. Colossians 3:23

Commit your work to the Lord, then it will succeed. Proverbs 16:3

Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically. Romans 12:11

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Have you ever taken a hiatus from life? Maybe sneak down to the lake, or up to the mountains and turn everything off? Maybe spend a couple of days with no phones, computers, television – just you, your family, and the view. At first, it seems so foreign. A life without technology? Won’t everything fall apart? What if someone needs you at work? What if you miss the next viral post on social media? After a while though, the technology cloud lifts and we discover what we’ve been missing. Time.

We are so excited when technology improves. We can get things done so much faster now! Mail arrives in seconds, we fast forward through commercials, and we engage in a face to face conversation with someone across the world at the push of a button. Theoretically, we should have a lot more time. It takes a fraction of the time to achieve desired results than it used to. However, we are more stressed than ever. We find we have less time than we used to for things like family time, self-care, and maintaining a relationship with God.

What are we doing with our “extra” time?

We more than double our work. Tasks take less time now, so we have the ability to take more on. However, it’s very easy to get in a habit of taking more on than we can do. Take a realistic look at the time allotted for a certain task and allow adequate time for each. Be detailed.

We don’t anticipate setbacks. Things don’t always go as planned. In fact, a lot of things don’t go as well as we expect them to go. We don’t leave a little time for hiccups and redos, but they have to be done. So we do them, followed by the rest of the work that needs completing. And it takes a lot more time than we anticipate. This can cause us to work well into our sleep time, family time, etc.

We can’t say no. Let’s face it! We women have a lot on our plates. We have work, a house to run/clean, food to prepare, pets to take to the vet/grooming, PTA meetings, baseball/basketball/football/soccer practices, dance/cheer/gymnastics practices, piano/guitar/drum lessons, martial arts, and girl/boy scouts. And if you’re like me, you’re probably on committees for most of those. It’s too much. There isn’t enough time to do it all. Unless, of course, we don’t sleep.

Our extra time is more than filled up now, and the new overwhelming workload is now the expectation, leaving us a stressed out mess. And the worst part? Most of us haven’t spent our time on what matters most: health, family, and God.

How do we make extra time for what matters most?

Schedule it. Family time, date night, exercise, meal prep, 8 hours of sleep, bible study and prayer – schedule it all. We have a habit of only scheduling appointments outside of our home life and personal goals. Since we tend to do that, our schedules fill up completely with all the other stuff in our lives. Then we give our families, health, and God whatever is left – if there is anything left. Try scheduling those before adding any meeting, sports, or obligations to your schedule.

Make some cuts. I recently had to sit down and make some tough cuts in my life. I recommend reevaluating where your time is spent at least once per year. We go through many seasons in life, and we forget that we can’t do it all right now. If you have young children, you might be in the season of life that doesn’t allow you a lot of freedom to do certain things. But this is only a season. Cut some of the extra stuff out and spend your time where it’s needed. This season will end, and your schedule will change. But your kids will never be this age again – don’t miss it.

Learn to say no. You can’t say yes to everything. Now repeat that three times. Seriously, do it. If we say yes to everything, people will continue to ask us to do things. In most cases, it’s not out of selfishness. They assume you won’t say yes unless you have the time and resources. So if you say something like, “I’d really love to help, but I just don’t have the time to do this right now,” that tells them that you just don’t have the time right now. You could follow up with something like, “Things should slow down in six months” or “Little one starts school next year which will free up a little time. Let’s talk about me joining at that time.” We have to learn to protect our time. Time is precious.

At the end of the day today, I challenge you to sit down with a pen and piece of paper. Make two columns. Write down what you should do on a daily basis in one column, and what you actually did today. In many cases, we will find that we aren’t practicing self-care – adequate sleep, exercise, taking the time to prepare healthy meals. We may not feel good about the amount of time we had with the family. We also might find that we haven’t spent any time with God. Once you have a clear understanding of where you are right now, make a plan. What can you get rid of? What can you cut down? Create your schedule for next week. Start with God, family, health. Your stress level should decrease a bit, and you’ll likely find that you’re much happier.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven Ecclesiastes 3:1

Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Proverbs 27:1

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I’ve heard it said many times that God won’t give you more than you can handle. Recently, I learned that is untrue. You see, I am in the middle of a storm. My heart is absolutely broken right now. I get up, I go to work. I smile, crack a few jokes. I try to focus on my to-do list. I shuffle kids around in the evening, and then it’s a mad rush to get everything done before going to bed. All of that is fine. I’m busy and that keeps my mind from going to the dark place that I know waits for me in the silence. The place that utterly terrifies me. The place where the pain is overwhelming and it actually steals my breath. As I lie there in a fetal position, the pain won’t be denied any longer, and I know this is more than I can bear on my own.

I believe storms like this are more than we mere humans can handle on our own strength. I also believe that that is by design. If things are always somewhere on a scale of great to not good, we wouldn’t learn to rely on God. But when life falls somewhere between horrible and devastating, as much as we might try, we can’t make it through without Him.

Why we don’t seek God in storms:

We don’t realize how bad it really is. Sometimes we’re caught in a somewhat delusional state. Sure, we know our situation is not good, but this is nothing we can’t handle, right? Wrong. Pastor Rick Warren once said that seeking God should be our first response to everything, rather than waiting until the situation is dire to cry out to Him. We forget that God is always there waiting for us. He never strays away from us.

Pride. Have you ever hung out with a one-year-old? Have you ever watched them try to climb onto the sofa, but they just can’t quite get on? You reach over and try to help them, but they swat your hand away and say, “I can do it by myself!” That is often us. God wants to help us, to heal us, but we push Him away and say, “I’ve got this, God.” But we don’t. We need Him in every situation. Good, bad, and otherwise.

We’ve forgotten about Him. If we aren’t used to talking to God, there’s a good chance you will wait to reach out to Him until you feel like there is nothing left but God. Don’t wait! Let Him love you through this time.

I’m still learning how to decipher when God is speaking to me and when my brain is speaking to me. But there was once in a very broken state I actually heard God speak to me. I know, some of you are rolling your eyes. But it’s true. As I lay in bed, crying, begging for sleep to overtake me, I heard, “I am here.” An immediate calmness came over my shaking body. God was there, and though I couldn’t feel His arms around me, I felt held, I felt loved, and finally, I slept.

How Do We Seek God In The Storm?

Seek God relentlessly. You need strength, love, and hope. He is the source of all of these. Have you ever seen the episode of The Office where Pam and Jim use a Bluetooth to stay on the phone all day? (I love The Office. LOL) Imagine you have a Bluetooth in your ear at all times with God on the line, waiting to talk to you about everything. Talk to Him. He’s listening.

Read scripture. There are several ways to do this. The most obvious is a Bible. But if you don’t have one, you can visit several websites like this one to read scripture. You can also get the Bible app on your phone or tablet for free. Or, if you need a pretty picture, Pinterest is full of pretty pictures with scripture. I believe God will reveal what He wants to you through His word.

Pray. There is power in prayer. Pray passionately. Don’t worry about what you think you should say, don’t be formal. Just speak to Him.

God uses all things for His glory – even our storms. Without the storm I’m currently in, I wouldn’t have started this site. Now, every day, I hear from at least one woman who says these posts, posts that are inspired by the love of God, have touched them and made a difference in their lives. God is using my pain, this storm to reach others in His name! How AMAZING is that?

Ladies, remember one thing: God loves you! He loves you madly, wildly, passionately. The creator wants to hear from you! He desires to be a part of your life. If that isn’t something to celebrate, I truly don’t know what is. Allow Him to fill you with joy even in the middle of a storm. Allow Him to use you in all your circumstances. You’ll be absolutely amazed at what He can do through us when we stop trying to live life on our strength.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

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About Me

I’m a thirty-something mom of three just trying to live my best life. But let’s face it. Life is hard. I recently started a small group of women who wanted to achieve some amazing goals in their lives. Through this group I realized I wasn’t alone in the challenges of womanhood, keeping the faith, and just life in general. I decided it was time to stop going it alone. God has blessed me with incredible women in my life. We need to lean on each other, learn from one another, and uplift every singe woman we meet.