We used to be able to re-stock medical supplies for the ambulance right from the ER. Years ago when we would have a new EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) on the ambulance we'd tell them to go get a fallopian tube from the ER cart. When they could not find one, or had no idea what they were looking for, we told them to ask the nurse for help. It worked just about 50% of the time.

I visited a patient in the hospital who had been given a lot of medicine for her pain. She mentioned she liked my necklace, which is a piece of polished stone of some sort. I thanked her and admitted I don't know what the stone is. "Oh," she said, "I think it's an oxycontin."

Allegedly true story from the early days of Air New Zealand, an airline on which they still hand out hard candies (on some flights, anyway) to help passengers clear their Eustacian tubes during descent: A steward was handing out the barley sugar candies and offered one to a young woman who asked what it was for. The steward responded "If you suck on it as the plane descends, it will clear your Fallopian tubes." A grey-haired male OBGYN in the seat behind her overheard this, and remarked in a thick German accent "Young man, if you can clear Fallopian tubes with barley sugars, you will become a very rich man!".

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

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