In light of Peter Mansbridge’s recent announcement that he will be stepping down from the anchor’s chair on The National I began pondering who would be a suitable person to take over. I won’t say replacement as Mr. Mansbridge is irreplaceable. After significant consideration it dawned on me that the next anchor should be me.

… with the oft levied criticism that if you work at the CBC long enough you will eventually run the place, I imagine the committee will be looking outside the corporation.

Let me point out that I am a big fan of the CBC. Yet with the oft levied criticism that if you work at the CBC long enough you will eventually run the place, I imagine the committee will be looking outside the corporation. Allow me to point out that I have never been an employee of the CBC.

Like Mr. Mansbridge I too am shedding my once thick head of hair. I like to think that the old adage about grass not growing on a busy street is true. My balding pate and the innate intelligence it so obviously indicates are no doubt acceptable substitutes for my total lack of journalistic education or experience. An anchor needs common sense in large amounts. I do write a blog; but I am sensible enough to understand that self-publishing does not a journalist make.

As for television experience I have plenty: I’ve been watching it for most of my 56 years. One of my earliest recollections is as a four-year old boy running to tell my mother that my show had been taken off because something bad happened in Dallas. My show did not come back on for several days. Steeped in TV news am I.

This has resulted in my now owning several suits with perfectly fitting jackets, but pants that are a wee bit of a squeeze. No problem, the next anchor need only be concerned with looking sharp from the waist up.

In the early seventies we upgraded to a colour TV. It arrived on a Saturday and the whole family eagerly anticipated that night’s Hockey Night in Canada broadcast. During the first period friends more familiar with colour sets dropped in and pointed out that the red line looked as if it would burn your finger if you touched it, but not too worry as the blue lines were so blue they would provide a cooling effect. This was my introduction to the tint control. I think a good anchor understands that most things in life fit somewhere on a spectrum, it is all about hues and tints, not absolutes; black and white situations are rare.

I must own up to having added a few pounds to my mid-section over the past few years. This has resulted in my now owning several suits with perfectly fitting jackets, but pants that are a wee bit of a squeeze. No problem, the next anchor need only be concerned with looking sharp from the waist up.

My balding pate and the innate intelligence it so obviously indicates are no doubt acceptable substitutes for my total lack of journalistic education or experience.

I understand that Mr. Mansbridge has afforded the committee ten months to find his successor, so there is no rush. But should Donald Trump be elected President of the United States I feel there will be some major media openings south of the border. Therefore if you could let me know as soon as possible what my chances are, if I am to be short-listed, it would be much appreciated. If not I can turn my attention to positions with our neighbours.

I thank you for your consideration of my application to be anchor of The National, and await your reply.

Sincerely,

DCMontreal

DCMontreal – Deegan Charles Stubbs – is a Montreal writer born and raised who likes to establish balance and juxtapositions; a bit of this and a bit of that, a dash of Yin and a soupçon of Yang, some Peaks and an occasional Frean and maybe a bit of a sting in the tail! Please follow DCMontreal on Twitter and on Facebook, and add him on Google+