Needless to say, a month later, I got a new girlfriend. She's into converse, but I think I can deal with that.

We here at I Hate Crocs of course don't advocate the breaking of hearts, but we can't entirely blame you, Gem. You did right. You've prevented yourself from having to endure a lifetime of waking up next to someone who wears Crocs. We all know what happens when Crocs get girls at a young age, Gem. First, she starts buying shirts to match. Then she gets accessories. Then she buys quilted vests, gets a bad haircut and starts wearing Mom Jeans. You don't want that. You got out just in time.

As a side note, we at I Hate Crocs are very fond of our Converse Chuck Taylors! We are college students, after all. However, they're not safe from making your feet look ridiculous...