by Ann Oldenburg, USA TODAY

by Ann Oldenburg, USA TODAY

Bethenny Frankel stopped by to chat with Ellen DeGeneres for her show today and the reality star got emotional when talking about her fresh split with husband Jason Hoppy.

"It's difficult," Frankel said of doing the show right when her personal news is in the spotlight.

"Do I want to be doing this exact thing right now? No, but I can't just only be on reality TV and show everything when it's fairy princess, fairy tale and then not take my hits when I have to. I've kind of had the best worst year ever. So I have to, you know, it's the highs and the lows. ... Just going through something personal you have so many different emotions and I feel like a bit of a disappointment to all of you. And, I feel like a failure."

Ellen reassured her, "You are not a disappointment. You are not a failure. You are not."

But Frankel insisted, "I feel like a failure. I really put it out there. I wanted the fairy tale. I thought I had it. And (daughter) Bryn is my fairy tale. ... I get letters. â?¦ So many people have been so supportive and some people are judgmental and I really understand. But I also get letters from people saying, now I don't believe in love and that's just not true. Love is everywhere. It's the road and you're on it. It has peaks and valley and that's what it is but I don't know how people go through this because this is excruciating. I have to say."

Ellen told her that viewers "think they know" Bethenny and Jason from the show, but, "I will just say that nobody knows anything. Nobody knows your life. I know you've been trying to make this work. I know how hard you been working. And, I know you did not want this to happen."

Bethenny admitted that she went to Ellen's house "and sobbed" to Ellen's wife, Portia de Rossi, "a while back."

The truth is," says Bethenny, "I wanted to rip the Band-Aid off so it could start to heal. This will obviously be better. I'm scared of the unknown future. You know everything and one day you don't know. So I'm scared. I'm older. And I want to be able to say to people ... I never thought I'd be a role model but I think to some people I am or have been. So this is an important time because it's about what I do next. How I handle myself now with grace, with dignity. This is the time now that matters."