Random, Disjointed, and Self-Righteous Thoughts on TV, Music, Movies, Comics, Musicals, and More

Friday, June 10, 2005

The Saga, Complete

As I've discussed before, I heartily believe that the Star Wars saga will play well in chronological, story order, that is if a new viewer, one who knows pretty much nothing about the films, were to see them in order, Episodes I-VI. To better demonstrate this point, I present here how, say, a typical ten-year old might react to the saga in this way.

I"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away." Cool.

I don't understand any of this weird scrolling stuff, but the music is cool.

These two guys are Jedis? OK.

The force? Is that some kind of superpower?

Wow! They blew up the Jedi's ship. Bet they'll be pissed.

Awesome! Laser swords!

Who's that creepy guy in the hood? Bad guy I bet. Yep, he's telling them to kill the Jedi.

Those Jedi are awesome fighters.

The bad guys are going to invade the planet? Not sure why, but OK.

Cool ships.

Who is this frog guy?

Cool underwater city.

Cool underwater creatures.

The bad guys are going to kill the Queen, I bet.

Awesome--the Jedi rescued the Queen. Now they'll go get help.

Cool space fight.

Uh-oh. Ship's busted.

Who's this chick going with them to find the part?

The flying turtle guy talks funny. Who's the kid?

How are they going to fix the ship?

It's that kid again. He's taking them home.

Who's the guy with horns? He looks bad.

They're slaves? That sucks.

What's podracing?

The kid may be a Jedi?

OK, so the Jedi is going to let the kid race to win him the part. Cool.

OK, the kid's definitely a Jedi. And awesome powerful it sounds like.

Those podraces are so fast!! Awesome race!

The kid won! And he's not a slave anymore. Why doesn't Qui-Gon just rescue his mother?

Why doesn't the kid take his robot?

Wow, that horned dude almost got them!

They better let the kid become a Jedi.

Why's that green dude talk all funny?

Cool, Naboo-senator guy is going to be in charge. He'll fix things.

They won't train the kid? What's their problem?

Cool, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are going to go back to fight the bad guys.

Will the frog-people help?

Cool! Cute chick is really the Queen!

Go frog-people!

That's a lot of robots.

Horn-dude!!

Awesome, awesome, awesome laser sword fight!!

The kid is flying the spaceship, awesome!

Space battle, cool!

More awesome laser sword fight!

No way!! Horn-dude killed Qui-Gon!!!

The kid is going to blow that ship up I bet!

Oh crap! Is horn-dude going to kill Obi-Wan too?

Cool, all the robots are dead. That kid kicks ass.

Holy shit!!! He cut him in half!!! Awesome!!!!!!

Cool, Obi-Wan will train the kid.

Great movie!!

IIStill not sure what these words mean.

I bet that wasn't really the queen.

Nope.

Anakin is all growed up!

Yoda looks a lot better now.

That senator guy likes Anakin; I bet he'll make him like boss Jedi or something.

Anakin has the hots for Padme.

That was the most awesome chase scene, ever.

Who is trying to kill the Queen?

Anakin will protect the Queen and Obi-Wan will try and figure out who killed her.

Dude, he totally likes her.

Obi-Wan is smart.

Cool water planet.

Why are they expecting him?

Clones? cool.

That is one wicked army.

He really likes her.

Wow, it's the guy from the beginning, with the jet pack. Fett. He's the one who tried to kill the Queen.