MY MOM SHOPLIFTED FROM GRACELAND AND OTHER RANDOM TRAVEL THOUGHTS

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Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, MOM.

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Even though the seats are pre-assigned, I believe that with fierce concentration and just the right amount of avoiding eye contact, I can force my fellow passengers to sit in another goddamn row, thank you very much.

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Is there such a thing as a valet parking groupie? Because I'm pretty sure I just met one and it was fucking terrifying.