Tuesday, December 21, 2010

In Loving Memory DecalsIf someone close to you has died, you may be considering in loving memory decals. You place these decals on the back windshield of your car and they serve as a reminder as well as a tribute to your deceased loved one.

Custom decals (stickers for the back windshield of your car) could also be used to generate additional awareness of our missing loved ones.

So on that note, here are a few links to sites I've found online that provide a free online decal generator -
http://customvinyldecals.com/names.htm
http://www.decalkits.com/customdecal.php
http://www.edecals.com/custom/index.html

Here's an example from one I generate using Billy Smolinski's website ...

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

“As a parent, my heart goes out to every family that has experienced the disappearance of a loved one. Each year, tens of thousands of Americans go missing, causing heartbreak and loss for people across the country. Passing Billy’s Law will offer families of missing adults confidence that we are doing everything we can to locate their loved ones. I thank Jan and Bill Smolinski of Waterbury, Connecticut for their courage and perseverance as they continue the search for their son, Billy Smolinski, Jr., who disappeared without a trace on August 24, 2004. I am grateful for the support that my colleagues Senator Schumer, Gillibrand, and Merkley have offered for this legislation and remain committed to doing everything possible in the United States Senate to assist families of missing adults.”

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

For the first time, the embattled Oak Brook cop son of accused wife-killer Drew Peterson publicly discussed his relationship with his father and the events surrounding the disappearance of his much younger stepmother, Stacy Peterson.

"Uncertainty is a cancer that crushes the spirit of loved ones left behind. With this bill, we have an opportunity to make changes nationwide and gives families like mine hope for a better, more certain tomorrow," said (Jan) Smolinski.

Every year tens of thousands of Americans go missing, never to be seen by their loved ones again. At the same time, there are also an estimated 40,000 sets of unidentified human remains that are being held or disposed of across the country, and no organized system to match cases and remains. Billy's family has experienced many obstacles in searching for their missing son, including disconnected federal databases and a systematic reluctance to prioritize missing adult cases.

"Billy's Law," introduced by Murphy and Poe last year, empowers families and loved ones of the missing to find justice by helping to secure funding for the only federal missing persons and unidentified remains database that can be cross-searched, accessed and added to by the public - the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System (NamUs). This database enables the loved ones of the missing to spend countless hours searching for a match and add invaluable information to the case profile that only they know.

The legislation helps to streamline the reporting process for law enforcement and medical examiners by connecting two major federal missing persons and unidentified remains databases- the FBI's National Crime Information Center (NCIC) and the NamUs. Connecting these databases makes them more comprehensive and more likely to lead to a missing person or unidentified remains match.

Billy's Law also creates an incentive grants program to coroners, medical examiners, and law enforcement agencies to help facilitate the reporting of missing persons and unidentified remains to the federal databases. Grants can also be used for training programs on how to correctly use the databases and best handle these cases.

Billy's Law builds upon Connecticut's 2007 Law Enforcement and Missing Persons law as it also calls for the issuance of broad recommendations for standards and procedures for law enforcement to follow in dealing with missing persons and unidentified remains.

"The Smolinskis story is tragic, but this family's pursuit of justice, and desire to change the system for the better, is nothing less than heroic. I thank Jan for her courage to fight the system and change it for others across the nation," said Murphy.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Police and neighbors were searching for three young Michigan boys Saturday who have been missing since their father claimed he dropped them off with a woman before trying to kill himself a day earlier.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I am really intrigued with this program using cartoons to help children express their feelings when they are unlikely to open up to an adult. At the end of the article Borbolla expresses her desire to take the program to places like Haiti after natural disasters.

The main problem in the developing world is that there are far too few therapists to care for the vast numbers of children who are affected by disaster.

A Safe Haven in Cartoon Confidantes

For months, psychologists struggled to reach the eight year old boy in the burn unit of the Pediatric Hospital of Tacubaya, in Mexico City. He had been discovered in the basement of a house, tied to a water tank after being burned along the backs of both legs with a clothes iron by his uncle and aunt, who were later arrested. Every time an adult tried to talk about his abuse, the boy would turn away and repeat, “No, no, no, no.” One day, a therapist said to a colleague, “Nothing is working. Let’s try Dulas.”

Dulas is a computer-generated character created by Julia Borbolla, a Mexican child psychologist. It is one of several “emotional agents” Borbolla has invented that are being recognized in Mexico City as capable of gaining rare access into the inner lives of children. Dulas, like all of these characters, comes from a planet called Antenopolis and knows nothing about life on earth, not even what a mother or father is. He looks like a pointy-headed M&M with big eyes and radio antennas. He is red, the color children associate with burns, and wears bunny rabbit slippers because he remains in a hospital – so children can count on his companionship.

A therapist named Rafael Mateos Ortiz took the boy to Dulas’s room, which was decorated with stars, planets and children’s art. In the corner a TV screen was set inside a cutout of a 1950s-style spaceship, with mailbox slots for children to place notes or drawings. Mateos explained to the boy that Dulas doesn’t like to interact with adults – so he would only come out after he left the room. Mateos went to an adjacent room and Dulas appeared on the screen. Speaking through Dulas in a software-altered cartoony voice, Mateos used keyboard strokes to make him move and express emotions.

Talking about abuse to Dulas, instead of an adult, has been therapeutic for some traumatized children.

When I visited Mateos recently at the Tacubaya hospital, he told me that, within 30 minutes: “[The boy] told Dulas that he was living in a shelter, that his parents had died, that he had been abused, that he had been burned by his uncle and aunt.” Mateos added: “It was a major step – beginning to talk about his feelings.” Now the therapists had insights they could work with and the boy said he wanted to speak with Dulas again.

Over the past five years, Borbolla’s characters have been used to assist 2,000 children from 3 to 14 years old, and have been employed in three Mexico City hospitals and a center for disabilities in another city, Morelia. The characters collectively go by the name Antenas because they all have antennas and come from Antenopolis (Borbolla’s original character also goes by the name Antenas.). The psychologists I spoke with said the tool creates an environment of trust and empathy that enables them to understand children’s issues more quickly than they imagined possible, and enhances the effectiveness of their work by providing a context in which children find it easier to discover and express their feelings — which carries over to therapy. “In my practice, if I needed four or five visits with a child to understand what really happened — with Antenas I need 10 or 15 minutes, maybe two sessions,” said Borbolla.

Therapists have been using puppets to help children unearth and process their feelings for decades. But Borbolla, who has been working with children for 30 years, has taken this kind of work a step further, assembling elements that haven’t been put together before. To begin with, the children interact with the characters (or cyber-puppets) in a room without adults present (therapists monitor with cameras). The characters also have attributes and stories that are both designed to build rapport and make it easy for children to project their feelings upon them. Because they come from a planet that is different from Earth (but may have similar aspects), they are able to credibly ask naïve questions, like “What is a family?” or “What is a school?” that can elicit revealing answers. Like many children, they prefer not to interact with adults. “Children are drawn to that kind of complicity,” comments Borbolla.

Perhaps most important, therapists must undergo several months of training and practice, under observation, before they can use the tool. Not all therapists receive certification, Borbolla says. It takes a good ear and a light touch ─ playful, enthusiastic, funny at times, but not too funny ─ to understand how to follow the child’s lead and make the characters come alive in a way that respects the child’s feelings and is believable enough to work.

Borbolla originally got the idea to use a drawing of an animated character to communicate with children when she was working as a school psychologist in the 1980s. Years later, in private practice, she worked with a cyber-puppet maker to develop a software version. She spent six years refining the tool. “This is the fruit of many years’ experience and many adjustments,” she told me.

In 2005, she established a nonprofit foundation, Antenas Por Los Ninos, supported by grants, to disseminate the work. The impetus was a comment made by her daughter Juli, who is now 27 and is also a clinical psychologist. Juli had been born without a right ventricle in her heart, and as an infant and child she had undergone repeated surgeries and hospitalizations. Borbolla recalled: “She told me, ‘If I had had Antenas in the hospital, I would have asked the character many things I never asked because I was afraid of saying things that might hurt you or my father. I wanted to know if I was going to die. I wanted to know what else was going to happen to me.’ ”

Antenas characters have been used to assist children who are experiencing a range of difficulties. Therapists in Tacubaya use them in pre- and post-operative therapy and burn rehabilitation. In Morelia, one character, Bompi, is employed to assist children with disabilities. (Bompi says that all humans have disabilities because they don’t have antennas.) The program is being used to provide emotional support to children with heart disease and cancer, teach children how to protect themselves from potential abuse, and, at the government’s request, learn about children’s experiences in public day care centers. In a pilot project being conducted by the Pediatric Hospital of Iztapalapa in conjunction with four government agencies, children’s interactions with another character are carefully being reviewed as potential legal evidence in cases of violence or abuse.

One of the first times Borbolla used the Antenas character was with a five-year-old girl whose parents brought her in because she had been wetting her bed. Antenas asked the girl, “Who do you live with?” She replied: “My father, my mother, my little brother, and the maid.” When Antenas asked: “What’s a maid?” the girl replied “It’s a woman who helps mother with the house and when your father goes out, she hurts you.” Another time Antenas asked a young boy, “What’s a driver?” and the boy said that a driver is a man who uses the car and touches you in the guest bathroom when your parents go out. Borbolla explained that these disclosures ─ spontaneous responses to general questions ─ are highly reliable, especially when they come from young children. But therapists also follow up with the child and the family to confirm facts.

In such cases, therapists have to handle the information carefully. One principle of the work is that a therapist must not reveal that she knows something that was said to an Antenas character privately. The character must first ask permission of children to share any information with a “good adult.” This preserves the trust and integrity of the child’s relationship with the character. In the case of the boy and the driver above, Antenas said he should tell what he said to “Julia, that lady who brought you here.” The boy replied, “If I tell someone the driver will kill my mother.” Antenas said, “She will know how to protect you and your mother.” The boy gave permission for Antenas to tell Julia and she made sure the child’s parents, who happened to be wealthy, came directly to her office to pick up the boy (the driver was waiting for him outside) to deal with the matter.

Over the years, Borbolla has gained insights into children simply by having a character ask basic questions like “What is a mother?” or “What is a father?” With children in hospitals, the character may ask: ‘What is a doctor?’ If the child responds ─ as many do, in effect ─ “A mean person who makes you suffer,” then Antenas can help the child handle his fears and adapt to his treatment.

The psychologists I spoke and emailed with said they loved the tool. Ana Zarina Fiorentini Cañedo, who supervises the psychological program at Tacubaya, wrote that she highly recommends the program for hospitals because of its efficacy in helping children heal from the emotional pain of illness. Some psychologists have concerns about children being deceived into thinking they are confiding with a character when they are in fact talking to human adults. Borbolla acknowledges it, but says that it’s an extension of the established practice of using puppets. And she is careful to add that Antenas is no substitute for therapy. (She likes to limit its use to six sessions.) “It is a simple tool, but it can be enriched with the personality of each expert,” she says.

To date, Antenas hasn’t been rigorously studied, and Borbolla is working to engage researchers to examine its impact. She is developing an Internet-based application to reach children who are immobile. And she dreams of having the resources to bring the tool into disaster areas, like Haiti. “After an earthquake, everybody thinks of food and blankets, but what are the children feeling? How are they faring?” Her biggest fear is that the tool will be co-opted for negative purposes. “I see how powerful it is,” she told me. “It can be used to get into the souls of children.”

On Saturday, I’ll provide more examples of the Antenas characters’ interactions with children and respond to reader comments about the idea.

Monday, November 22, 2010

I have been following the details that have been coming to light concerning Elizabeth Smart and her kidnapping. She was the 14-year-old Utah girl who was allegedly kidnapped by a man named Brian David Mitchell. His accomplice was his wife, Wanda Barzee. During a "ceremony" directly after her abduction from her home, Elizabeth was "sealed" (married) to Mitchell by Barzee in a bizarre ritual, police say. It was nine months after she was abducted, charges alleged, that she was finally rescued. By her account, during her nine months of hell she was raped, made to live like a wife of Mitchell and pretty much brainwashed.

The part that gets me the most angry is that there were several times that people have testified that they had seen the trio walking here or there and something was out of place. But they never followed their instinct or acted on their weird vibes. One particular instance was a time that the trio were at a local library and someone called the police stating that they though Elizabeth Smart may be in there.

"Former Salt Lake City homicide detective Jon Richey was sent to investigate. Although he considered the lead 'a long shot,' he asked, repeatedly, to lift the young woman's veil. But Mitchell said it violated their religious beliefs for anyone but the young woman's husband to see her face. Richey testified that it would have violated her civil rights to lift the veil if the story about her religious beliefs was true. And Mitchell's calm demeanor didn't set off any alarms for him. He said that when he learned about six months later that the girl he'd tried to question was Smart, it left him 'traumatized.' "

This sickens me. Not because of the detective's actions, but because he is right. Had he forced the girl to remove her veil and if it had not been Elizabeth Smart, God only knows what kind of a lawsuit would have been filed against him and the department he worked for. Of course if he would have went ahead and made her remove the veil and it was in fact her, he would have been hailed a hero. I personally don't care what religion you are, if someone thinks the young female who is with you may have been abducted, I think you should have to suck it up and remove the veil. First of all, our laws that govern this nation should not bend around religious rules. Secondly, I disagree with religion that forces women to cover their faces and walk behind the men in the first place. Period.

Most of the women I know would tell a man to shove it if he told her to walk behind him. There's something to be said about a nation that doesn't allow men to beat their women for showing a little ankle. But I don't want to bash on religions, I merely want to point out that had Richey followed his heart and gut, that girl would've been rescued a whole lot sooner. As a nation of tolerance and law, I still think it's our obligation to use a little common sense and stand between good and evil. Even if it means that we may end up being wrong, we need to look in that mirror at the end of the day and know that we did all we could.

Joe Snider is a Navy veteran and writes "A Local Voice" every other Monday. He can be contacted at Joe.snider@att.net.

You needn't have your own non-profit, doesn't matter if you've never been awarded for a thing, have you no "resume" credentials?

That's okay ... in fact, THAT is often the best thing ...

For what is all so often most needed, most cherished, most impacting upon this place we call Home ... is "nothing more than" a compassionate heart, a loyal friend, support with unconditional longevity ...

If you have a heart that cares, an inner passion to reach out and a selfless desire to make a difference, for even just one ...

Sunday, November 14, 2010

By Jeremy Lelek and The B& B Media Group

CBN.com – The holiday season has emerged from the mundane redundancy of the past twelve months, ushering in a seemingly magical transformation of the social atmosphere. New colors explode in the dark of night as countless houses across the nation are adorned with festive lights. The excitement of children as they await the arrival of one, Santa Claus, permeates the air. Choruses celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ fill small towns as the local church bell provides the all-too-familiar melodies of Silent Nightand Away in a Manger. Celebration is the theme of the season, and real life, with all its blemishes and pains, is brushed away into the dark corners of silence.

However, if one chooses to peek into the shadows, he or she will see the harsh realities that exist and are even magnified during the Christmas season. The desired “peace on Earth” is disrupted by intrusive circumstances such as difficult family members, the death of a loved one, financial strain, isolation, and loneliness. To ignore those visited by such unwelcome strangers is to fail in living out the very spirit of this sacred season.

This Christmas, be aware that all may not be bright, and that some could actually benefit from the love of the One whose life and birth we joyously celebrate at this time of year. When dealing with others or personally experiencing difficulty, consider the following, taken from the wisdom of Jeremy Lelek, president of the Association of Biblical Counselors:

Difficult Family Members: Remember the sobering words of Jesus Christ who said, “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who abuse you…If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them” (Luke 6:27, 32). Seek to live for the higher, more glorious purpose for which you were created. Do not fixate on how irritating or frustrating your family members may be or how they may need to change. Instead, recognize their character as a powerful context in which you can (and are called to) change in order that you may more accurately reflect Him (Romans 8:28-29). What is your primary agenda? That others suit you or that you suit the call of God?

First Christmas Without Him or Her: Christians are exhorted in Philippians 4:13, “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” Believers in Jesus Christ will grieve, but their grieving should take on a different shape than the grief of nonbelievers. There is no silver-bullet to relieve the pain of loss, however, keeping Christ at the center of grief can make all the difference. Three recommendations: First, recall the precious gift of the beloved Redeemer in his giving of his own life so that death would be eternally destroyed, then offer thanks for this amazing sacrifice. Second, use the intensity of your own loss to relieve the pain of another through kind words, showing interest, or offering a loving gesture in order to “love God” and “love neighbor” (Matthew 22:37-39). Third, thank God for the good times and the precious memories.

Financial Strain: Be a good steward of the resources God has given you. Resist seasonal and cultural pressures to overspend simply for the sake of pleasing others. Use this year to contemplate the wisdom of Paul who said, “In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need” (Philippians 4:12). Interpret this year as a season in which God’s hand of mercy is sparing you and your family from the vanity of commercialization, and count yourself blessed that you may peer into the deeper meaning of Christmas.

Isolation and Loneliness: If the holidays find you spending more time alone than that to which you are accustomed, consider the following: Purpose in your heart to be focused on loving God and others this Christmas season (Matthew 22:37-39). Plan to be a blessing by doing something kind for a friend, family member, or a neighbor rather than anticipating the dread of how miserable you are going to be this Christmas. Refuse to wallow in self-pity. Schedule a time to visit a museum or take a walk in the park. Be reminded of the Creator and his eternal presence as you gaze upon the beauty of his artistry (Romans 1:19-20). When alone, be comforted by His love and presence. Take time to open the Bible and read the glorious story of redemption He has freely offered you. Worship Him!

Jan states: "Should my story be chosen as the Rare Life winner, I hope to share the award with the community most effected. There are many John and Jane Does buried in Potter's Fields throughout the nation. Often the cost of the exhumation itself is the single obstacle between these poor souls and the DNA sampling that will help them to be returned to their family."

The Charter of Compassion is a cooperative effort to restore not only compassionate thinking but, more importantly, compassionate action to the center of religious, moral and political life. Compassion is the principled determination to put ourselves in the shoes of the other, and lies at the heart of all religious and ethical systems. One of the most urgent tasks of our generation is to build a global community where men and women of all races, nations and ideologies can live together in peace. In our globalized world, everybody has become our neighbor, and the Golden Rule has become an urgent necessity.

The Charter, crafted by people all over the world and drafted by a multi-faith, multi-national council of thinkers and leaders, seeks to change the conversation so that compassion becomes a key word in public and private discourse, making it clear that any ideology that breeds hatred or contempt ~ be it religious or secular ~ has failed the test of our time. It is not simply a statement of principle; it is above all a summons to creative, practical and sustained action to meet the political, moral, religious, social and cultural problems of our time.

We invite each of you to adopt the charter as your own, to make a lifelong commitment to live with compassion..

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Listening to this nearly broke my heart ... I know that God did not create us to be the kind of people who would wish a life of shame upon anyone. And surely He has sent us enough "life lessons" for all of us to get that by now ... We can do so very much better - for so very many ...

Sunday, August 1, 2010

It is not until only recently that I myself have become so much more so informed of the VITAL importance of DNA/Dental onNamUs.Gov... many of ourPeace4 Missing Loved OnesNamUs.Gov profiles do not include this extremely relevant info. - often because it just has never been sent over to NamUs by the establishment at which this information is on file.Please,TRIPLE CHECKyour family membersNamUs profileNOW!

Make certain that steps have been taken to include all DNA/Dental info on their NamUs profile!

You deserve answers - this MUST be done in order to help you receive them.

Taking steps to cover all bases is always the wisest move to make. And especially when it comes to finding the missing - you just can't do "too much".

Dot the i's, Cross the t's, Double Check the list, Make Certain that no Stone is left Unturned.

It is extremely important that each Missing Person has on file DNA information, Dental Records, etc. - the chances of connecting the Unidentified to a Person who is Missing is nearly impossible without this information.

If you have a missing loved one -- get them listed in NamUs as soon as possible. You can ask LE to do it -- or do it yourself. www.FindTheMissing.org

Then your case becomes eligible for many NO COST services.

The family are the main push behind making sure you have more than one family reference sample. The they must make sure that it did indeed go into CODIS.

Do fingerprints exist? Are they in NamUs? Can you get them?

Do dental records exist? Are they in NamUs? Can you get them?

Volunteer orgs. The unidentified are often left behind. Do you know of cases that are not yet in the public eye? Can you contact your local LE, ME or coroner and ask that they get the case into NamUs? Then they too have the benefit of these free services. Go to www.IdentifyUs.org to see if your ME / Coroner system is using NamUs. If not - maybe you can let them know what they are missing out on?

UNT has formed a Forensic Service Unit at www.UNTFSU.com that offer a variety of NO COST services. The DNA is FREE! Dental services are FREE! Forensic artwork is FREE!

Doing so does not mean that you are giving up hope of finding someone alive, rather it is doing all that you are able to, in the very best way that you are able to make sure that they, no matter what, Come Home.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

1. Copy/Paste this letter locatedHERE2. GoHEREto find contact info for Senators on the United States Judicial Committee3. Fill out the form on each of their individual websites (copy/paste the letter in the remarks area) and click send ...