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Maa De Farz ~ Part 2

The first duty: when a mother-to-be has the desire for a baby, she should have a womb that is imbued in Naam

Jun 8, 2018: In this video, Bhai Guriqbal Singh Jee continues to expand on the first duty of a mother, which happens before the child even enters the womb and before a woman ever becomes pregnant. The first duty: when a mother-to-be has the desire for a baby, she should have a womb that is imbued in Naam, the Name of God. This happens when the mother-to-be is Connected (or at least earnestly trying to Connect). She can Connect via Seva (selfless service), Simran (Divine Remembrance or meditation on God), and Saadh Sangat (Elevated Congregation).

In part 1 of the series, Bhai Guriqbal Singh Ji shared how Guru Gobind Singh Jee came to be on this earth. To quickly re-cap: His mom, Mata Gujri Ji, and His Dhadhi Jee (paternal grandmother), Mata Nanaki Jee, were told to listen to the continuous recitation (Akhand Paath) of Aadh Granth Sahib and do Seva of Sangat. Moreover, Guru Tegh Bahadur Sahib Ji instructed Mata Gujri that once Akhand Paath finishes, she should do Seva of people who are in-need (i.e. those who are poor and those who have no shelter). Everybody should receive Langar. No one should leave empty-handed. Mata Gujri followed Guru Ji’s Hukam (Divine Command) and served with her own hands (vs. directing someone else to serve).

Mata Jeeto Ji’s Sakhi

To further illustrate the power of doing Seva of Sangat when the desire for a child arises, Bhai Guriqbal Singh Ji gives another historical example, using Mata Jeeto Ji (one of Guru Gobind Singh Jee’s wives). One day, Mata Jeeto Ji stood by the path where Guru Gobind Singh Jee normally walked. She stood with her eyes lowered and her hands together, like when we do ardaas. As Guru Ji passed by, He stopped in front of Mata Jeeto Ji and said, “What’s your request/desire?”

How Mata Jee asked – what words she used and the humility with which she asked – was next level! Mata Ji said, “You are all-knowing and You are the Guru of the whole World. You are the inner-knower of all hearts. All the Sangat from all over the world comes to you and receives whatever gifts they desire from your charan (holy feet). The whole world worships your charan. You keep giving from your treasure, but your treasure will never become empty.”

Guru Gobind Singh Ji started laughing and lovingly said, “Are you going to get to your ask?”

Mata Jeeto Ji gushed, “Oh, master of such a huge Treasure. My womb is empty and my lap is empty. Please, bless me with a child.”

Guru Gobind Singh Jee replied with, “Oh!… I see. You have a desire for a child. Well then, you have to do Seva of Sikhs and of the Saints, and do it without any pride whatsoever. Cook up a storm with many types of dishes and serve them. In Saadh Sangat, in Sat Sangat, all of your desires will be fulfilled.” Mata Jeeto Ji accepted Guru Maharaj Jee’s Hukam and demonstrated this with namashkaar (a bow) to Guru Ji.

Then, Mata Jee made all the arrangements with devotion and with the utmost humility. The Sangat were impressed with her delicious food (Langar), her sweet nature, and her tireless Seva: Mata Jeeto Ji also washed all the Sangat’s feet and waived a fan over everyone. She undertook all of these efforts to win over the hearts of Guru’s Sangat because she believed Guru Maharaj Jee’s bachan (His Word) that her desires will be fulfilled by doing Sangat Di Seva (selfless service of the Congregation). As she performed her Seva, she concentrated on the image of Guru Gobind Singh Jee in her mind; she recited Naam (i.e. she did Simran) with her mouth; and she did Seva with her hands. She did all of this without an ounce of pride. As a result of her efforts, she obtained blessings from the Sangat for a Divya-Rooh (divine child).

Putar, Kuputar, or Suputar? (Child, Bad Child, Good Child?)

Bhai Guriqbal Singh Jee made another very important point: What is it that mothers-to-be really want? Meaning, do we simply want any child, or do we want an ideal child? Would we be truly grateful for a child who ends up making us think that maybe it would be better if this kid never was born? I know that sounds quite harsh. Nevertheless, the following historical examples (Sakhis) may help further illustrate this point more clearly:

Bhai Adam Jee Sakhi
The Bibi and Sant Vaisakha Singh Ji Sakhi

Bhai Adam Sakhi

Bhai Adam and his wife were desperate for a child. They went to so many places to try to obtain the blessing of a child, but they were left empty-handed. Eventually, they met a Gursikh who asked an important question. It was one they never really considered, “Do you want a child (putar), a bad child (kuputar), or an ideal child (saputar)?”

The Gursikh replied, “If you want a saputar, then you must go to Amritsar and do Seva of Guru Ram Das Ji’s Sangat: Doing Seva of Guru Ji’s Sangat is where you can obtain a saputar.”

The Bibi and Sant Vaisakha Singh Sakhi

Sant Vaisakha Singh was doing Katha somewhere and there was a boisterous child who was wading through the Sangat, slapping people’s backs. This kid even went up behind Sant Jee and gave Him a slap or two on the back! (Eek!) Sant Jee thought to Himself, “I should try keep my focus on Katha.” However, the kid so out of control that he was breaking everyone’s concentration. After 5-7 minutes, of the kid wreaking havoc, Sant Jee observed that the kid could not sit still and waited for an opportunity. Then, when the kid came up by Sant Jee again, Sant Jee grabbed the kid’s arm and said, “I’ll continue Katha in a moment… Who is this kid’s mother?”

The child’s mother stood up. She cried, “You’ve only had to tolerate him for the last 7 minutes. Imagine what it’s like for me – he bothers me so much!”

“Now, tell us the truth. Where did you get him from?”

Admittedly, this may seem like an odd question, until you hear her answer…

“I was having trouble getting pregnant. So, I went to burial/cremation grounds to beg for a child.” In other words, she went to THE WRONG PLACE to look for a blessing.

Sant Ji lamented, “If you’ve been going to burial and cremation grounds for this blessing, then your child has come from the beastly/ghostly (Poot-Prait) realm.” In other words, as opposed to Mata Jeeto Ji who did Seva of Sangat and received her child from the Divine realm, this mother went to cemetries and received her child from a Dark realm.

Sant Vaisakha Singh Ji continued: “When you had the desire, you went to the WRONG place! If you would’ve done Sangat of Sikhs and done Seva of Guru Nanak’s House and then asked, you would’ve been blessed with a Saputar instead.”

The Bibi (mother) admitted her mistake. She even confessed that out of frustration she hears the words coming out of her mouth, “It would have been better had you never even been born!” That’s how much she struggles with parenting her child – despite her deep desire for a child and how much she went through to finally get pregnant.

The Bibi wondered and choked through tears, “Now, whatever mistake has been made, has been made. What can I do now? Is there anything that can be done?”

“Yes, there is. Take him into your lap and do 2 recitations of Sukhmani Sahib daily. This should be separate from your normal Nitnem (daily practice) and just for your child. Then do an ardaas, ‘Hey Sache PatShah (True Guru)! Please change his wayward mind into an angelic one. Please, give him the mind of Gursikh.’ And through the transformative power of Bani, you will be blessed and your child will be taken care of.”

In God’s treasure chest, there are Divine souls; there are also Dark souls.

Someone had gone to a Mahapursh (Great Soul; Someone who is very spiritually elevated) and asked for a child, but never received one. Over five years (!) passed. They went back to the Mahapursh and asked what happened, or more aptly, why hasn’t anything happened yet. The Mahapursh explained, “If you want a kuputar, then you can have one right away. If you want a putar (ordinary child), then you can have that right now, too. If you want a saputar, or a Dev-Rooh (divine soul), then sometimes it takes time for them to come.”

Why? Because (from my understanding) we need to be ready for them. We need to make certain changes in ourselves and in our environments to make it conducive to parent such a blessed child. Moreover, it takes a certain amount of punn (good deeds) to be a mother to such a child. In these instances, we don’t choose the child: the soul gets sent to us – or rather is entrusted to us – by Guru Ji. Guru Ji sees our lifestyle, our hearts, and our minds, and chooses to send one of His beloved Gursikhs to us – where Guru Ji knows that His Sikh will have the opportunity to continue on this path of Sikhi, BECAUSE we are also trying earnestly to walk this path.

Overall Message

Therefore, we should strive to follow in the footsteps of Mata Jeeto Ji when we desire a child. We should submit ourselves completely to Guru Ji and serve the house of Guru Nanak with everything we have, with the utmost humility. We should try our hardest to Connect with the Divine and to please Guru Ji, even before we fall pregnant.

… And just in case you wondered how it all worked out for Mata Jeeto Ji: through the blessings of Guru’s Sangat for all the Seva she did, Mata Jeeto Jee became the mother of three of the four Sahibzaade: Baba Jujhar Singh Ji, Baba Zoravar Singh Ji, and Baba Fateh Singh Jee… enough said?

Glossary (for Punjabi terms that show up multiple times in the text):

Naam The Name of God or Connection with GodSeva selfless serviceSimran Divine Remembrance or Meditation on God
Saadh Sangat Congregating with Holy/Spiritually-elevated soulsAkhand Paath Continuous recitationAadh Granth The first compilation of Baani by Guru Arjan Dev Ji (5th Guru)Sangat CongregationLangar Guru’s Free KitchenArdaas Make a request with hands joined together (to show humility)Charan Holy Feet (of the Guru)Putar ChildKuputar Bad child; a wayward childSuputar An ideal childSakhi Historical story, normally with a moral or religious lessonMahapursh A Great Soul; Someone who is spiritually elevated and Connected to the OneSahibzaade Royal princes; often used to refer to Guru Gobind Singh Jee’s four sons