Oh Keanu, Keanu, Keanu. We make fun of you an awful lot, and always have (You played Ted! You surfed in Point Break! You thought Speed 2 was a good career move!), but only with the best intentions at heart. You see, we like you! We think you seem like a nice guy, if a bit of a blunt object, and we can’t deny how purty your mug is when it isn’t all scruffed up with face pubes.

So happy 44th birthday, dude! You really do make 44 look good. Have you been using anti-asian cream on that soft skin o’ yours?