Sunday, February 07, 2010

Do I really want to be a nurse for the rest of my days?

Sometimes. Cant that just be my fall back? I treasure working with kids and taking care of people. That much I do know. I tend to have issues with western medicine in general, and that goes against what I feel healing should be. Again, in conflict with my beliefs and what I am required to do.************************************************************************************Today I went through the garage and found Sam's old camera bag. Played with his many lens filters. I wish he were here to at least give me some pointers. He was such a creative being, a true artist, in everything he did. I admire him for at least knowing what it was he wanted to do career wise in life. So today, I played with his filters, got creative, decided to make my own lens filters for my camera from random objects lying around the house. The results were interesting, I am very pleased. I may never be a paid full time photographer, which in the end would probably compromise any artistic expression in the first place when you are paid to shoot what "they" are paying you to shoot, thus leaving me to never want to pick up a camera again. Dont want that. So its better this way. Through the lens I have trained my eyes to see things differently. You notice the vibrancy in nature, the shadows cast by warm light when the sun goes down, the movement and flow of the leaves when there is the slightest breeze, the perfection of everyday. Soon, when you are not looking through the view finder, you still have the ability to see things in a series of images, without effort. I guess its just another way of not taking life for granted. For magnifying lifes beauty, and I cant think of anything more powerful then that.

3 comments:

You are so right. I think I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I'm not rich, never will be, therefore, I have to work to live. (not live to work) And leaves me less time to do things that I actually want to do. I guess that's everyone's predicament.

Love the pics. It inspires me to use some of my filters. Thanks! And I am feeling you on the Western medicine thing. Everyone is pressuring me to get licensed when I graduate in a few months but I don't wanna. I think whatever I do can be done without following the same path as everyone else. We'll see...

About Me

I have 2 boys that I love more than anything, my sons are my teachers, I want to learn as much as I can, I want to see as much of the world as I can, I am trying to live a more spiritual life, Im a buddhist in progress, yogamom, animal lover, perpetual student, frappacino addict, journal freak, photographer, book-worm, pediatric nurse, ex-wife, widow, daughter, grandaughter, friend, and now wife to my best friend and all around favorite person in the world. Yes, I am that lucky, and will never take my life or the amazing people in it for granted. By the way, all photos are taken by me, meaning they are mine. Dont steal its bad Karma.