A Lunchables Matrix and Power Ranking

You may not think people still buy and consume Lunchables, the prepackaged convenience meal perfect for “parents who don’t know how to tell their kids they’re poor.”

But Lunchables still exist, and are presumably doing well — well enough to introduce exciting new lines called things like “Lunchables: Uploaded”, which is just one thing you’ll learn from this comprehensive rankings and commentary on Lucky Peach. You can read through item-by-item, picking up all sorts of knowledge about the range of products now on offer, from Lunchables mini hot dogs, which look disgusting, to something called “Pizza Kabobbles,” which you wouldn’t believe me if I told you what that is:

“‘Pizza Kabbobles’ are a bunch of pretzel sticks, a block of American cheese, and a few slices of pepperoni. The conceit is that you make kebabs with this, impaling the cheese and pepperoni pieces with the pretzel sticks.”