mid-term elections

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Look, I don’t want to get all political on you, but the state our of economy is pretty bad, no? I think that is the one thing everyone can agree on right about now. People have their different opinions on healthcare reform, Obama’s Nobel Prize win, and issues in the Middle East– but everyone can agree that we’re in a pretty rough recession. Oh, we also do all agree that Kanye West is a jackass.

I’ve seen first-hand at least ten companies that were thriving eighteen months ago follow the economic spiral down, and then die. I worked for one of them. Wait, three of them. Family members owned others. Friends owned others. We’ve all managed to stay above water so far but I feel like everyone is starting to get a little edgy and is wondering how much worse it can get and how fast it can get that way. With that in mind, I think we need to find someone who can fix this. Obviously our government is full of stupid ideas and is not making the situation any better. So, I nominate the following people to fix our economy:

Knight Rider

Because first of all, The Hoff can solve anything. Secondly, because KITT needs to at least try since we gave GM all that bailout money just to have half their brands get dropped.

Mike Tyson

Really, do I have to go into why? We can just use his brute strength to pummel the national debt down a few billion bucks. Brains aren’t required. We have intelligent people in positions of power now and nothing is getting done.

Stephen Hawking

I mean, if this guy can’t fix it, we’re just fucked. Maybe he specializes in theoretical physics and black holes or whatever, but damnit, if he can figure out the mass of things that haven’t yet been proven to exist, I am pretty sure he can find a way to create some jobs.

The A-Team

I pity the fools who don’t think the A-Team can handle this situation. These dudes are ex-military, man! They would create a new economy out of rusted car parts, zip ties, and Ben Bernanke’s facial hair. Or we could just give Mr. T’s bling to China to pay off some of what we owe them.