Tag Archives: ONCOLOGY NURSING

I truly believe there is a season for everything. In fact the Bible talks about this concept pretty specifically;

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-15

I’m rarely an emotional person, not that I’m cold and don’t feel emotions, but I tend to react to things on a rational level rather than an emotional level. My first reaction to things is not usually tears – whether happy or sad – it’s usually a rational conversation with myself about the implications of whatever the situation may be. Part of not being overly emotional is the lack of questioning “why”. I tend not to ask, and really don’t care why something is happening. I know that the question of why can be incredibly debilitating for some people. People feel like if they know the reason for a situation that they will be able to cope better. I’ve always been the person who accepts the fact that whatever God does is final. Let me be clear that this does not translate as me having incredible faith – there are so many times in my life that I can point out where my faith was lacking on so many levels. A good example of that is my faith that God will heal – I’ve seen it happen several times and I know it’s possible but I struggle to have faith to say that God is going to heal me or anyone I know.

Getting back to “there’s a season for everything” –

I feel as though I’m moving into a season of reflection – for lack of a better description. Working in both pediatric and adult oncology I am inundated with life and death on a daily basis. There are victories and there are losses – it’s the nature of cancer, and I’ve been ok with it. There are days that are much harder than others, but there is so much joy in my work as well. Often people look at me with pity in their eyes when I explain what I do for a living – as if to say “oh poor you having to deal with that everyday.” Let me be straightforward here and say, I am not the one fighting the cancer, I am not the family walking through this journey, but I am blessed to be able to walk alongside so many people during one of the most difficult times in their life.

I am not cursed with this – I am blessed with this.

I’ve generally been able to go about my work day without a lot of spiritual reflection – whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing – I’m not sure. This week however, I have been far more reflective. God has been whispering quietly, urging me to stop and reflect. I’m not sure where this season in life will take me but I’m thankful for a reminder to slow things down to take time for reflection. He is the reason I am here doing what I’m doing and I’ve not given him much of that credit lately, nor have I invited Him to be part of the process. I suppose it’s time to change that.

Well, today was potentially my last shift on the pediatric oncology unit for 2 months.

Part of thriving for me this year is making difficult choices in order to thrive as a mother and a wife.

Working full time is difficult in and of itself, but working full time 12 hour shift work is especially difficult. For myself, I love it and I love everything about my job. However, for my husband it was just too stressful alongside school work to take care of Ezekiel. I made the difficult decision to give up my permanent position to go casual and start looking elsewhere for a position that had better hours. I prayed and trusted that God would make something work – He always does. Out of the several resumes I submitted, I interviewed for four positions and was offered a casual position in the adult oncology clinics.

It was bittersweet leaving work today. I’m sad that I’ll be gone for a while and I’m sad that the amount of work I will have there is uncertain. I’m excited for a bit of a change of pace, and I’m excited that I get to continue in oncology and learn so much more. I never imagined that I would love oncology as much as I do, and I never imagined I’d be relieved to continue to work in oncology.

I have a week off before I start my orientation and I’m ready to spend the week organizing and cleaning. I’m ready to have a week to just do a bit of de-cluttering of my house, my mind, my body, my spirit. A new year always brings these feelings for me. I love the idea of starting fresh, and I’m ready to do so. I’m entering the year in great anticipation of wonderful things to come. I’ve had a lot of stress coming into this week but when I stepped into my house tonight I had a sense of great relief. God comes through again, and He knows exactly what I need and how to get me to that point.

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My name's Ashley, I'm a wife, momma, and nurse. I'm on a journey to simplify my life so that I can fully enjoy every moment without the distraction of "things". Thanks for stopping by and remember to say hello!