Welcome! I am a stay-at-home mother of three kids (5 and under) and was diagnosed with breast cancer in February 2009. This blog chronicles some of my random thoughts but also serves as my online diary of the journey I've experienced since my cancer diagnosis. This will also serve as the place to send my kids when they become bratty teenagers and tell me that they hate me (just kidding...or am I???)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

So, it's come full circle (well, probably many circles) that my kids love Tom & Jerry like I loved Tom & Jerry. It's a cartoon that needs no words. Just the wonderful orchestral music of Tom chasing Jerry and Jerry always getting away!

My daughter is so in love with Jerry (as are some of her friends) that she is dressing up as Jerry for Halloween. She wants to wear the costume everywhere and I love it.

When my kids fight me to brush their teeth, sometimes I can coerce them to brush their teeth while I sing the theme song to Tom and Jerry (I know, there are no words, but I sing the tune...)

I've had a room full of kids laughing their heads off at the show. I talked to a neighbor who said she had the same phenomenon in her house!

Each morning when my kids wake up early, my husband and I send them down to the TV room and our 5 year old turns on pre-recorded Tom and Jerry episodes for him and his sister...we just have to make sure we only record the thirty minute shows and not ninety minute shows...just too much TV at one time!

In any event, Tom and Jerry is great. I love that the kids enjoy it. I still enjoy it. My dad still sits and watches that with them. Do yourself a favor: watch Tom and Jerry and let the memories come flooding back!!!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

So, I forgot to mention this and, in retrospect, it strikes me as funny!

I went to my 20th high school reunion two weeks ago. I was not quite sure I was going to attend because of my current health situation, but I decided to go. I had a great time and it was so wonderful to see everyone there!

But, you know how I feel about not having hair...I hate it. My eyelashes fell out and, for the most part, are tiny little stubs at that. But I decided to see if I could get eyelash extensions to make my eyes look more normal for the reunion. They weren't bad (I should have had a picture of them, shouldn't I?) but since I had so few lashes to begin with, the woman who did the work could only get on about a quarter of what she would normally do. My eyelashes still looked sparse, but it wasn't so bad. The lashes were affixed on Thursday and we headed to the reunion on Friday and Saturday.

The woman who fixed my lashes told me not to rub my eyes too hard or the lashes would fall off. So, I am sure I didn't clean off my eye makeup as well as I would normally do. On top of that, I left my contact lenses in all night that Saturday night (too much fun at the reunion, I guess) and by Tuesday, my eyes were totally gooey and pink and totally infected. I went to the doctor and got a prescription to fix the pink eye and I am happy to report it is gone. Actually, it was almost 100% better after one dose!

I said something to my mom tonight that I just shouldn't have mentioned. I tried to avoid her earlier in the day because I knew I could not keep my mouth shut, but she just really didn't need to hear this.

What brililant thing did I say? Well, it all started almost 2 years ago...my brother had elective surgery and had complications from that surgery. He died from complications but they think what ultimately killed him were 2 contaminated batches of a blood thinner called Heperin. My parents are still working on a lawsuit against the drug manufacturer, but they still have a lot of hurdles to get through to prove the Heperin killed him.

So, fast forward a year from his death and I am diagnosed with breast cancer. Not fun for my parents, I assure you, as they only had 2 kids: my brother and myself. Now, after all I've been through (I know, I know, it could have been worse), this little thing happened today and I told my mom about it:

I was having a Herceptin treatment today (Herceptin is the miracle IV drug for Her2Neu positive breast cancer patients) and later in the day I was going to have a MUGA scan (to make sure the Herceptin has not f-ed up my heart). The kindly nurse with a foreign accent (from the Herceptin treatment) offered to leave the IV needle in my arm so that I wouldn't have to be poked again for the MUGA scan, as both procedures required IV needles. Not only did I appreciate her help with that, but I understood her to that point. Then, she says that she has to "flush the IV line" with saline and something else (that I couldn't quite understand) to make sure the IV was prepped for the MUGA scan. "Okay," says the stupid patient. I always assume the nurses know what they are doing. While she is putting the unknown substance in my arm, it finally hit me what the other stuff was besides saline..."Did you say, 'Heperin?'" says me. "Yes," says the nurse. Then I started freaking out, after the shit was in my body. I told her the story of my brother and thus, the reason for my concern. She assured me over and over again that this was fine and different than the stuff given to most patients, that this Heperin is specifically for port flushes...

Needless to say, that put me over the edge today. Not only do I get smacked by breast cancer, but then I get slapped with this shit that might have contributed to my brother's death? Ugh!

I just cannot hide stuff like this from my mom, but I think I put her over the edge tonight when I told her what happened. I mean, for once, I couldn't have kept my mouth shut? How stupid was I to think that she'd be able to handle news like that. I'm going to have to call her back to make sure she's okay, but I know I should have kept that quiet...oh well.

I kept telling her everything is fine, everything is fine, but she still just didn't need to hear that. Neither did I need to be subjected to that crap today, either. 2010 cannot come quickly enough for me! Oh, and have I told you before how much I HATE not having hair and eyelashes???