Look, as long as you're going to be sitting in the bathroom for a few minutes, reasons Paul Kleinman, you might as well put your brain to a more productive use than counting floor tiles. You could pick up a little history, drop in on the ancient Greeks, marvel at the circulatory system, and even learn a few passing phrases in another language. Kleinman, who claims he learned a ton of crap at the University of Wisconsin, structures this entertaining and irreverent little book into Lessons, containing six one-page "assignments" touching on five academic subjects: History, Language Arts, Math, Science, and Foreign Language. Think of each page as a whole day of middle school crammed into one bathroom break.