Wednesday, September 26, 2007

a menu of unmentionables.

(context: after i was accused of being old)

Me: dear robert.please eat a bag of dicks. sincerely, me. Robert: HEYMe: a bag. full. of dicks. :`)Robert: You like to eat dickcereal. dicks in milkMe: you like to eat dicks on toast.Robert: you like to eat dicks on a stick (like pogos) (with mustard ... lots of mustard)Me: you like to eat fresh-from-the-garden dickswith hidden valley dressing. Robert: ugh, you like to eat...pickled dicksMe: you like to eat colonel's special recipe dicks.with 14 secret spices.Robert: Yeah? Well you like to eat dick tacos, with extra special sour cream (hint: it's not really sour cream).Me: oh snapRobert:(but it's still white and gooey)Me:you like to eat tim horton's muffin-full-of-dicks.with a big steaming cup of tim horton's dicks. Robert: You like to eat deep fried dick, with dickjuice dipping sauce, and dick pop (biggy sized)Me: you like greasy breaded dick with a side of curly dicks and a Big Gulp of dicks from the gas station next door..Robert: You like chinchilla dick.Me: !Robert: A delicacy among dick dishes(with dick sauce, of course)Me: you like dick purple stuff. you don't even hold out for the Sunny Dick. Robert: You like dick fingers, with creamy dick dipping sauce, and then you like to like your fingers afterwards, savouring the dick flavour.Me: you like to sit out on your dick porch an drink a cool glass of dick-ade and reminisce about all the times you ate dick.Robert: You like dicks-in-a-can, discount style. With dick-sauce-in-a-can. Pump-style... pump it, and the cream comes out (and you eat it, which you love to do).