This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: February 28, 2020

We are all going to die, the Leafs lost to their own Zamboni guy, some poor pre-med decision-making in the sky, Michael Jordan makes us laugh until we cry and much more from this week in funny tweets.

February 22

So, for people who don't know Hockey:
The Carolina Hurricanes' two goalies both got injured. So they had to use a guy they didn't know, who drives the Zamboni for their opponent. They paid him 500 bucks.
And he won the game! https://t.co/Ioej2iarvh

I was in the bathroom when a friend sent me an XXX video. I played it but there was no sound.
I increased the volume but still no sound. I watched it for 5 mins before I remembered my phone was connected to the Bluetooth in the living room.
My entire family was in there.

A guy on the TTC called me a "fucking bitch" after I asked (nicely) if he could move his bag so a pregnant woman could sit down. I responded by telling him everyone dies at the end of the book he was reading. I have no clue if they do, but it seemed like an appropriate response

The coronavirus outbreak has me thinking back to when I was a server and worked a week straight while I was really sick and it turns out I had the swine flu and was probably spreading it to everyone because I couldn't take off work and I'm sure that will happen with this