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New York legalizes gay marriage

This July 24th was the first day that New York legally recognized gay marriages. Three hundred couples got hitched at City Hall, and New York Magazine took photos and asked them some giddy questions. (See them here.) Bravo, New York.

My fiancee and I are getting married this fall, but we'll sadly be traveling to another state to make it legal, since it isn't yet here (or in 44 other states).

We've still got a long way to go, but this is a great step in the right direction! Also, did you know that when NY legalized same-sex marriage that the number of people living in a US state where it's legal more than doubled?

This is a truly beautiful post <3 The pictures are amazing and it makes my heart melt to know that times are changing for the better and that love can be shared no matter who we are or where we come from!

It amazes me how slowly our laws come to reflect our culture. Think about how the NYT has been printing same sex unions in their Vows section for so many years now. That said, I'm very happy that in our lifetime we may be able to look back at our society's failure to protect gay rights as archaic and nonsensical as segregation or Jim Crow laws. Go New York!!!! And go Joanna- I like the issue-oriented vibe of both this post and yesterday's little girls piece.xo,Shannon

Really so moving! Thank you for sharing this. I can't imagine how exciting it must be in New York right now. I was in SF both times before and the energy of the city becomes electric.

I love the style of your blog, but yesterday's and today's posts have really brought serious class. Thank you for putting yourself out there to share. (There will be haters on this, for sure, but it's so important to show your support.)

that top photo is so sweet. i do think that love is supposed to be between a man and a woman, but you can't help who you love. and there's no reason any human shouldn't be allowed to marry any other human. so i'm proud of new york for this too. congratulations to all of those sweet couples who are just so in love and celebrated that love with getting married. it seems like a dream come true.

Really enjoyed reading each couples comments about the day. Put such a huge smile on my face. Can't believe New York hadn't already legalised marriage for gay couples. Well done, New York. Hopefully some more states will follow.

It's really interesting to hear from some of your readers who feel that love, marriage, and sex "should" be between a man and a woman, but that these images, and of course, the reality of the world around us, allows them to appreciate love when they see it. It's undeniable that love "should" be whatever it wants to be--that's the wonder of its power! Thank you for posting this.

This makes me so happy!! I live in San Francisco, and I hope that our community can experience this joy soon as well! Just yesterday, I was reading through the Six Word Memoirs (see my blog for more on this) and the one that put a huge smile on my face was "Recieved first gay wedding invite. FABULOUS!!!" As an event professional, I LOVE that. Yayy!!

It's really disappointing to even see the few negative comments for this post. They don't offer any reasoning or legitimate explanations. Nobody is judging who they love, and I really don't see how this would effect their lives in anyway. All it does is bring more love and acceptance to the world! If you choose intolerance in your life, thats fine, but what a horrible thing to preach to other people. At least this opinion is on its way out! Congratulations to the happy couples and to a more loving and accepting world :)

yes, bravo! Some of my friends were taking a family vacation in New York City and happened to be there on the first day it was legal. They got to watch a lesbian wedding in Washington Square Park! Their mom said she was glad her somewhat closed-minded sons got to see it.Darling photos, by the way.

I totally cried reading their little interviews. So much love in these relationships, it really comes through in their words and photos. I don't think I would have seen this if you hadn't posted it, so thank you.

truly moving to read the snippets of interviews, especially the ones with the older couples who have been together longer than most of us readers have been alive, and who can now, finally, share the same legal rights of marriage as their straight fellow-citizens. what a momentous day for new york.

I too am fascinated by the negative comments on here. I understand we all have our own beliefs, and I am very thankful we all get to speak them, but I don't understand why some people feel like they're so powerful and so "right" that they can deny others basic human rights. I just wonder if these people realize that they look like the South in 1860. Doesn't work out so well.

(PS: I'm straight and a born and raised Texan, and even I have sense to know right and wrong from how I was raised.)

lovely! and i'm sorry, i have to disagree with the opponents: love and equality can only be positive contributions to our society. having a gay brother (who was tortured constantly, growing up in virginia), this is an issue that i have always felt very strongly about. it's truly terrible how dehumanizing our society as a whole is towards homosexuals throughout their whole lives, and no one should be denied the right to form happy unions and families. i'm, perhaps falsely assuming, that a lot of opponents of gay marriage are republican - and though i respect everyone's right to uphold their own political beliefs - i do agree with mayor bloomberg, a republican and one of the most influential supporters of marriage equality in new york - that government intervention in private lives doesn't align with the republican ideal of small government. furthermore, as i'm sure most new yorkers (especially those in media and creative industries) can attest, gay men and women play a MAJOR leadership role in our city and state's economy (and the cultural life of america.) i say that as someone who has worked in the new york office of a major studio for years - with more gay colleagues and bosses than straight ones!. leaving ideologies aside, you also have to consider the economic inequality of denying marriage (remember it's tied to benefits and health care, taxation, wills and estates, etc.) to anyone, let alone people who undeniably play a major role in new york's economy. finally, i don't know anyone in new york who doesn't have gay friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc. one of the reasons that gay marriage passed in new york is that by living side-by-side, it becomes clear that love is love, no matter what the orientation.

To clarify some comments stated above: 1) I wholeheartedly agree that gay men and women play a significant, equally contributing, portion to our economy and the workforce. No one is challenging this idea. Only because someone doesn't support gay marriage absoultely does not mean they don't support gay people, well, as people! 2) I find it very hypocritical that supporters of gay marriage value "love for everyone" and "equality", but label people who do not agree with you as "haters" and don't tolerate any dissenting statements. Even if someone disagrees with you, and based on your ideology, don't you think we should be tolerated and loved as well? Seems to me that many gay marriage supporters don't really believe what they say about love and tolerance. 3)Many gay marriage supporters say that "love conquers all" and that everyone should have the right to it. But is this what you really believe? Because then there's many illegal things that fall under this including incest and polygamy. Do you really believe that love should override everything? Here's another troubling idea that I don't understand and that seems hypocritical from my point of view. It seems to me that love doesn't conquer all, no matter how someone feels. There SHOULD be boundaries, right? Love should not just be whatever it wants to be. 4) The reason why many opponents to gay marriage don't "offer reasons or explanations" is because it's difficult to have a civilized discussion about this matter without name-calling from the supporting side. And somehow, having opinions based on religious view is not a good enough reason. 5)These issues DO affect me because they affect the society in which I live! I don't believe new defenitions of marriage will contribute to a more wholesome, stable society.These are some ideas off the top of my head. I hope that any who read this and disagree will be respectful of my point of view.

Oh wow, I couldn't look at all of those pictures without getting a little choked up! If there's anything the world needs to see a lot of, its that kind of love and commitment. Thanks for passing along all of that joy!

I agree with anonymous above ^^. I do not hate homosexuals, I just disagree with their lifestyle and have the right to lovingly do so. I have friends and co workers who live that lifestyle, and I love them just as I do my other friends. However, I believe God created marriage to be between one man and one woman, as is shown in the beginning of creation. May God open our eyes to how He purposed things to be.

I so happy about this decision - it's about time. I live right near Niagara Falls and many couples were married there at midnight too. So ecstatic for our friends. Also, it was my 30th birthday - a fun day to remember when I see it on the news. :-)

Sorry anonymous, I respect your religious viewpoints, but if we're taking a live and let live approach, then there's no reason for government intervention of who can marry, just as I'm sure you wouldn't wish for a government intervention into your religious life. And why yes, if you want to disagree with gay marriage for personal reasons on a religious basis that's fine, but a major part of the American legislative system is the separation of church and states, so religious beliefs can't inform laws, especially as they pertain to people who happen to not share your same religious beliefs. Secondly, the reality is that legally speaking, marriage is not simply just above love. If someone is not allowed to marry, then their partners don't enjoy the same protection of health and insurance benefits, they have a harsher tax system, and in the event that one partner dies, the other isn't protected by the same life insurance benefits, estate laws, etc. So by making gay marriage illegal, there's no way that you're giving citizens equal protection under the law. In fact, you're actually stripping people of economic rights in very real and tangible ways. Another major part of the US legislative system is the principal of equal protection under the law. And finally, I'm sorry, I don't even know where to begin with the comparisons of homosexuality and incest. Incest usually characterizes extremely dysfunctional, abusive familial relationships, while gay couples are typically about as supportive, functional, and healthy as their straight couterparts.

This is such an uplifting and gorgeous series of images. I am so, SO proud to have been born in Connecticut, raised in Massachusetts, and have both sides of my family from New York. Three of the growing number of states to legalize a marriage that, in the first place, shouldn't even be an issue. Now... if my adopted home of California would just legalize it already, I'd feel even more thrilled for my friends who should have long held the right to marry as my husband and I have. Good times! Thanks for your sharing of this love and beauty, Joanna.

Not everyone worships the same "god" or any god -- that's why those arguments aren't very persuasive. In my belief, you're not supposed to eat meat. You don't see me yanking a ham bone out of your mouth though!

Your argument, "I don't believe new defenitions of marriage will contribute to a more wholesome, stable society" sounds almost exactly like an argument that was used in the mid 1950s when the issue of interracial marriage had everyone up in arms. The gay marriage issue today is what the interracial marriage issue was for the last generation. It was legalized, and no one died. The very framework of our society did not come crumbling down around us. People who didn't believe in it went about their daily lives completely unaffected.

If anything, if everyone who opposed gay marriage from a religious standpoint was really so concerned with the sanctity of the institution of marriage and not instead trying to impose their religious beliefs on the rest of society, they would be boycotting divorce or domestic abuse or spousal rape. You know, REAL problems eroding the institution of marriage. If two consenting adults happen to have the same genitalia and want to spend their lives together, how in anyway does that affect you?

I'm really glad to see that there are people who are against gay marriage voicing their opinions here in the comments. I'm sad our nation is slowly accepting things that should not be accepted. Also, it's really annoying that once someone disagrees with something like this it is seen as a "negative comment." Why are we not allowed to disagree? After all, it's only our opinion just like all the others. There's nothing negative about that.

So, here's the thing about you saying that "it's only our opinion just like all the others." Your opinion has a real and direct impact on my life, and the lives of countless other people in same-sex relationships.

Your opinion that the state shouldn't recognize same-sex marriages means that my partner and I can't receive benefits from the government that married straight couples do, like filing our taxes jointly or passing assets like property on to the other person if one of us were to die. In many states, it means that one of us wouldn't have legal rights to our children, which means everything from not being able to sign school forms to no longer having custody of our children if the legal parent died.

These are just some of the things that real people (like me! *waves*) deal with or think about the threat of every day because of your opinion.

To be clear, I think it's totally fine if you think that being gay is morally wrong and/or that your church or other religious institutions shouldn't have to recognize same-sex marriages. We're talking about civil marriage here, ones performed by the state. Many same-sex couples don't want their marriage to be recognized by a religious institution or, in my case, belong to a religious community that already does recognize and perform these marriages and embrace all people, including gays and lesbians.

To me, your opinion is a negative one because it directly has a negative impact on my life and the lives of countless others. I really can't see how my opinion, or those of people who agree that the government should recognize same-sex marriages, negatively impacts the life of anyone else.

I too am SAD that our nation is slowly accepting things that should not be accepted -- things like restrictions on birth control and access to abortions, things like Michele Bachmann, and things like the criminalization of civic participation by the impoverished...and things like interfering with my rights under the Equal Protection Clause.

Luckily, every now and then, there's a tiny (albeit mostly symbolic) victory for true patriots, like marriage for consensual gay and lesbian adults, in the face off all these other unacceptable things!

I consider myself a religious and spiritual person. But I also consider myself a realist. If we are going to take our religious beliefs and queues from texts like the Bible (not saying you are, just giving an example), then we should also support stoning individuals who work on the Sabbath...! That’s just a silly retort for those who take such literal translations of religious beliefs. So thank you to Jamie for reminding us of a very valid point between those who do and do not support gay marriage; that laws should not be informed by religious beliefs.

I would also like to agree with a point Erin made about some of the true issues that hurt the sanctity of marriage. To Colby and Jessica, there is nothing wrong with having an informed opinion that you present respectfully. And thank you to those who do. But there IS something wrong with people who voice their opinions in a negative way. Everyone is absolutely entitled to their own beliefs, but to put down others is inappropriate. For the anonymous posters with rude one-liners about how they were “disgusted” by the images… simply hurtful and uncalled for. Having an informed opinion should be welcomed and respected. But if an individual supports their beliefs from a place of intolerance and disrespect, they do not deserve to have their opinion heard.

I love you for posting this! I am grinning from ear to ear and wiping away tears as I read each one.

I live in SF, so on the first day it was legalized in 2008 I went down to city hall to take pictures and congratulate people. I always tear up when I see couples who have been together forever who can finally legally be recognized. Then on 8.8.8 my wife and I got married. :)

My husband and I cried tears of joy the night of June 24th when New York legalized gay marriage - the same night as our fourth wedding anniversary. These photos are so moving and to see people who have waited a lifetime to get married makes me weep every time I read a story or see photos of the marriages.

I only had to wait seven months to marry the love of my life. But even if I hadn't wanted to plan a wedding, we could have gone out the day after our engagement and gotten married. Can you imagine waiting two years, ten, twenty years to marry the person you loved? Can you imagine being forced to testify against your partner in court because no spousal privilege rule existed for you? Can you imagine not being able to be at your loved one's side if she or he was sick in the hospital and being denied the right to make end of life decisions because the law did not recognize you as anyone of standing? There are so many things that straight couples take for granted that gay couples are completely barred from having.

I can only hope that my son who is two right now will someday look at me in bewilderment and ask, "Why in the hell couldn't gay people get married?" I think I will probably cry giving him the answer.

Kate, I have often had that same thought. I imagine that my children will be baffled by our government's resistance to uphold basic human rights for gay people, much in the same way I remember my confusion when, as a child, I first learned that there was a time in our history when a black person couldn't marry a white person. Or, as a young girl, when I found out there was a time when women couldn't vote, or own property. These things seem baffling to us now, when we can recognize in hindsight that those changes in our history marked progress, undeniably. I feel strongly that the same goes for marriage equality.

By the way, I'm proposing to my girlfriend any day now. I bought the ring! (Freaking out!!!)

Kudos to those who have offered such beautifully eloquent and, most importantly, intelligent explanations to those few 'anonymous' readers who don't seem to understand this controversy.

'Anonymous', the gay marriage issue as it is right now in the States is an issue of LAW, not RELIGION. And that is why '...having opinions based on religious view' will never, ever be a good enough reason or valid basis for an argument.

I find it irritating that the "separation of church and state" has for the most part been completely ignored when it comes to government involvement in marriage of any kind. Every person that I personally have come across who opposes gay marriage does so on grounds of "morals" or "God". NOTE: I am religious and I find that to be a completely invalid excuse! Here's why:

Legal marriage is a joining together of assets and assigning of legal privileges- basically, a business and legal transaction. Denying a couple of two consenting adults a legal marriage solely based on the fact that they're of the same gender is discrimination and, I believe, a denying of rights that should not be tolerated.

I don't need to have any say in who you (straight or gay) are in love with. I don't care if you're straight or gay in the first place. Marriage is MORE than religion- if marriages were only "religious" and not tied in any way to the government, there would be a whole lot less married people! Marriage is MORE than a piece of paper! Marriage is MORE than just "love" (many straight couples should be ashamed here as the alarming number of divorces in the US are probably a result of marrying for fleeting "love" and not true commitment).

while in my view there have been comments on here that have painted this issue in a more negative light, i can't help but be astounded and truly humbled by the many outnumbering comments of love and acceptance for every man and woman, regardless of sexual preference. this, everyone, is progress. that's what moves me to tears today.

Congrats to New York! I'm a straight, married Catholic in full support of same-sex marriage. It does not threaten my religion or marriage one bit! Also, can I say I LOVE that "Lady Justice" is wearing a nursing bra under her wedding dress?! Fantastic. Big smiles when I saw that one.

I am extremely disappointed about the legalization of gay marriage. Just another sign of the times though I guess... the world is becoming more and more wicked which only means the second coming of Jesus Christ is getting closer! Hallelujah!

thanks for posting this jo, such beautiful pics bring tears to my eyes...tears of joy for them but also tears of sorrow as DOMA is still in effect and until that is repealed, these state victories are small...

thank you, thank you, thank you for your continued support--you are such a brave and strong ally!!

These pics are amazing! Everytime I read news on gay marriage I feel like jumping up and down.. most of my friends are gay and I have seen them sad so many times for the fact they wanted to make their relationship official as any other one! I wish this happened in my city as well.. It melts my heart to see there are people who are understanding and aware that we are such a diverse world and that people are equally unique!I'm happy for NY! That's the way to go!

As a sister of a gay brother, all I can say is 'about bloody time'. Though I still can't believe people have the audacity to remark that marriage is 'for man and woman only'. That attitude is utterly appalling and it belongs in the dark ages. People are people...obviously some moreso than others.

I am so happy that the world does continue to get better, even during tough times, when we think that global warming is going to be our demise, and all you hear about on the news are depressing heartbreaking stories...joy like this still comes through!

Love is love is love, and THAT should be sacred and beautiful. I am SO happy for ALL people in love who have been able to celebrate that in whatever way they choose. Straight, gay, bi, lesbian, trans, queer, and "categories" yet to be defined: love and be loved, that's what really makes the world a lovely place to live! SO happy :)

When I read/follow a blog I do so for the "pretty pictures" and for the useful information that is sometimes provided. This post today was neither of those. I for one do not share the overall happy feelings and well wishes of the majority that posted comments and it would just be nice to not have this issue of gay marriage and homosexuality shoved down our throats every other day. Btw, how about someone actually looking up what the so called separation of church and state actually means because I can guarantee that most of the people don't have a clue. Everyone just keeps eating the same garbage that's been fed to us for years.

Wow. You are really ready to stir up controversy by bringing up this issue. I'm sure that you have made many readers more devoted, but you have no doubt also lost several once-devoted fans.

Unfortunately, I think I may be in the latter category. I think that the institution of marriage is slowly crumbling which will have unfathomable consequences on the future of our country, just as if any other major institution in our country fell. That is how it directly affects my life.

I saw the NY magazine feature before I came on your blog this morning, but I'm so glad to see you posted about it. I admit, I started reading your blog for the pretty pictures, but I've kept reading for posts like these, and the previous one. Bravo!

Oh no! What is this world coming to? Do we really want to legally recognize the love and devotion of adults in long term committed relationships? Why would we want equal rights and protections for everybody?

That just sounds silly to me. Next thing you know, we will be allowing same sex couples to hold jobs, buy homes, vote in elections and generally act like everybody else in the world. Why would they expect to receive the same rights, privileges, and considerations as everybody else? It's not like they work, raise kids, create art, pay taxes, go to church, volunteer, defend our country, or otherwise contribute to society like the rest of us.

Oh... they do... they do all of that stuff?

Well then, that is another matter entirely. What do you say we treat all people regardless of race, gender, religion, creed, and sexual preference the same?

Why does our country need to lead the world in hate, narrow-mindedness, and intolerance of the rights and beliefs of all people that are not exactly like us?

KInd of reminds me of the meanness of high school cliques. Let's pretend we are mature adults.

I would love to hear Your Truly explain how exactly legalizing gay marriage contributes to the crumbling of the institution of marriage. People seem to say this all the time, but I have yet to hear an explanation of exactly how that happens. The sepparation of church and state is not an objective issue and as someone with a phd in political science I can say that the definitions offered here are correct. Legislation should not be created based on religious beliefs, but rather universal human rights. Not everyone in this country shares the same religious beliefs and it is wrong to impose one set of customs on everyone.

I, too, disagree with the sacred definition of "marriage" (which I believe was ordained to be between a man and a woman) now being used to define homosexual relationships. I am all about equal rights, those who wish to spend their lives together as a same sex couple should indeed receive all tax/health benefits that any straight couple should receive. Yet, my religious beliefs and even more than that, my heart tells me that the term, the very, very sacred term of marriage, is being tarnished by something I do not believe God intended for His children. I know what that may sound like to those who aren't religious, or those who are religious and who think that marriage is merely just an "equal right" for gay couples. I'm not doubting that these couples love one another as much as any other straight couple, but I do not believe this is what God wants for his children who He loves very much.

Regardless, this does not make me a "less devoted" follower. I adore your blog, and I appreciate different points of view, and am always willing to respect differing views than my own. Just wanted to join in on the conversation!

StaceyZ, I'm pretty sure that the distinction between church/temple-sanctioned marriage versus state-sanctioned marriage is precisely one of the many such separations contemplated by the concept of separation of church and state. Please bear in mind that no statutory OR constitutional legalization of marriage between gay and lesbian adults requires any religious institution to accept those marriages in ways that do not reach the color of the law.

Clearly, however, you disagree with my interpretation of the liberties afforded under the First Amendment. I'm therefore very interested in your interpretation of "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." Can you please help me understand what you think it "actually" means? How have I, and other supporters of human rights, misunderstood the First Amendment?

i LOVE this comment: "truly moving to read the snippets of interviews, especially the ones with the older couples who have been together longer than most of us readers have been alive, and who can now, finally, share the same legal rights of marriage as their straight fellow-citizens."

Thank you so much for sharing this on here. hen I was growing up, my divorced, feuding heterosexual parents were most horrible example of marriage to me but a gay couple who were close family friends were only my true example of a perfect union. I hope someday all of the US chooses to embrace love in this way.

this post is gorgeous, inspiring, uplifting and exciting. i have only lived in NY for two years but im so proud to call it my home, as we're leading the way in equality for same sex couples. thank you, joanna, for spotlighting such an important day in our city's history.

Joanna this is a wonderful post! Unfortunately, as soon as I saw this post, I knew that it would receive some negative feedback. I grew up in the Deep South, and I am way too aware of people's ignorance and negativity towards people who are different than they are. As someone with many gay friends and loved ones, these attitudes make me so sad. I'm happy to live in San Francisco now, which is so gay friendly compared to Georgia. I can't wait until the day when all people in the U.S. have the opportunity to marry and love freely. XO

I absolutely love these photos! What an amazing article it must have been to work on, to be the witnesses of such happiness. So lovely. I'm so happy that steps towards equality are being taken, though I wish equality were the status quo.

I thought this was a beautiful post full of lovely couples. The fact that anyone would stop following a great blog like yours Joanna because of one post they don't agree with is just plain silly. I guess if something makes someone uncomfortable they would rather pretend like it doesn't exist. Sad that people still are like that in 2011. Love is love and everyone deserves the right to marry the person they love anywhere they want to. (Hopefully the 'anywhere they want to' will happen soon!)

I'm a Quaker and consider myself a religious Christian (although I don't think my religious views, or anybody else's should shape the law), so I have to ask some of the commenters above, when exactly did Jesus ever speak against gay marriage?! Yes, there is a passage in the Old Testament that can be translated as such. The same chapter of the same book (Leviticus, Chapter 20) also says that if a man sleeps with a woman while she is menstruating, they will be exiled. The following chapter of Leviticus, 21, says that people with flat noses, the blind, and the physically disabled can't approach the altar of God. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make this a religious debate, because again US laws should have nothing to do with religion, but I think it's something worth thinking about if you happen to be a religious person.

Jo, you had a comment up before (that seems to have been removed?) stating that you "respect" the point of view of those who oppose gay marriage (and are glad they are still "loyal readers" - keep those page views up!). While respecting other peoples opinions may be a wonderful thing when it comes to choosing a restaurant or a pair of pants, can you really tell me that you would RESPECT someone who tells you that your relationship with Alex is a sin, that you shouldnt be able to be by his side as he dies, that his family should be able to take Toby from you if Alex dies? These are the situations that bigots' "respected" opinions trap queer couples in every day - to me, there is nothing in that hatred and inequality to respect.

thank you for posting this, joanna. this is an issue that is truly close to my heart; with a handful of gay family members and my childhood best friend being gay, how could it not be? it saddens and confuses me immensely that the gay community had and LOST the right to marriage here in california. i think new york has given many of us hope that it will soon be back.

i'd also like to reply to anonymous 2:53: you DON'T love your gay "friends" and coworkers just as you do your other friends. loving them the same would involve wanting what's best for them and wanting them to be happy; to TRULY be happy. love is a selfless act, and not believing that your gay friends are entitled to the right to marry (just as you are) is 100% selfish. may God open YOUR eyes and teach you that He is a compassionate God who loves ALL this earth's creatures equally, including you.

i can't help but note that all the ignorant "haters" in this comment feed are posting as anonymous. nice one guys, way to stand behind your so-called principles. and since when did GOD "create" marriage?! i am pretty sure that people created marriage, with all its pomp, circumstance and signed contracts, and we can make of it what we will.

also, my conservative christian upbringing (something so many of you seem to be using as mask for your blatant homophobia) taught me that god loves and accepts everyone and expects those who follow him to do the same.

Such beautiful photos. I don't see how anyone could even attempt to justify not allowing homosexual couples the same rights as heterosexual couples. I understand there are people who don't support gay marriage from a religious standpoint, but one religion shouldn't influence the law or restrict the rights of any citizen in the United States.

What I don't understand is, why do homosexuals insist on having the term "marriage" apply to them, when marriage initially came into existence through religion?

Marriage was not invented by man or society. It's initial appearance on planet Earth hundreds of thousands of years ago happened for the first time, thanks to religion.

And marriage is a concept that has continued to be defined in every major world religion as a physical and spiritual union between a man and a woman. The idea of "marriage" is not a man made one--it is one that religion initially defined.

So why don't homosexuals and the law simply call it something else? Call it a civil union and give them the same rights as married couples.

But the definition of marriage, which was given to us by religion (and is consistent in every major world religion), does not include the union of same sex partners. Insisting that the term "marriage" apply to homosexual couples is like insisting a banana is an orange. By definition a banana is not an orange. And by the definition of marriage, same sex couples simply don't apply.

I also find it so saddening that everyone here who thinks that same-sex marriage is not okay feels the need to comment anonymously. There are plenty of well educated, thoughtful, smart individuals opposed to same sex marriage. It doesn't mean they are backwards or provincial, and it certainly doesn't mean that they should feel ashamed for what they believe.

Anon 12:29 -- why should it be "the ONLY way to go?" What is "SO wrong" about gay marriage? Please explain further, and please stick to arguments that are rooted in demonstrable logic and the US system of law. If you have a position, back it up.

a agree with michelle ^^ above. using God as a way to justify that marriage should only be between a male and female is absurd.

legalized marriage. it allows (gay) human beings to have the same rights and benefits as (straight) human beings. what makes these two types of people..gay and straight..different other than their own choice to love and be with the same sex? why is it God's decision to decide who is allowed to have certain rights and who is deemed immoral..when those rights do not in any way affect anyone else.

Maybe I'm playing devil's advocate here, but no one has really brought up the economic implications for a fiscally-struggling state like NY (if you don't live in NY, be glad! Our taxes are ca-razy!). I wrote a short piece about it here, if anyone is interested: http://goo.gl/0LxNm

I also wanted to share what NY State Senator Roy McDonald, a Republican representing the Saratoga area (Upstate NY) said about his decision in regards to gay marriage:

"You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing. You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, f**k it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing. I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this."

Sen. McDonald is a gray-haired, middle-aged, Christian, relatively conservative elected official. I hope all commenters will think about these words, no matter what side of the debate you are on.

"Marriage was not invented by man or society. It's initial appearance on planet Earth hundreds of thousands of years ago happened for the first time, thanks to religion."

You've really got me thinking here! My understanding is that the 'original purpose' of marriage was to secure alliances between tribes, clans, etc and to continue the bloodline of the male. Once institutionalized, marriage became a legal way to pass on possessions and so forth. I don't think religion had much to do with such matters of pragmatism. And even if it did.. WHICH religion, exactly, bestowed this gift of 'marriage' upon homo sapiens? My point is, marriage is very much man-made (and therefore notably different across various societies.)

In fact, it was only in recent history that marriage had anything to do with love. Just a few generations ago, marriage was more about convenience and practicality, instead of romance. Now that marriage is more socially defined as the product of undying LOVE rather than a thing of productive necessity, it's only natural that the LGBT community wants in!

If anything, I reckon 'haters' should have a bigger issue with marriage today being about LOVE, rather than fussing over the genders of the people getting married.

life can be so wonderful if we open our eyes and hearts to others. the people above have the same joys, worries and struggles as every other man and woman in this country. the thought that their love and right to security as citizens are not as valid as someone who is 'religious' is truly baffling to me. but really, intolerance is nothing new, who cares what they think? i sure don't. some people choose to love and some people choose to hate in the name of love. i say live and let live!

I love this post. It's about time. I am probably the thousandth person to say it, but Erin's comment is spot on.

To the person who was upset that Jo posted this on her blog, it is HER blog. She has complete authority to post whatever she likes, whenever she likes. Heaven forbid a blog mentions something with any more substance than the best t-shirts or "pretty pictures".

I wish people could stop hiding behind the bible and religion and start forming their own opinions. Most people who commented in opposition to gay marriage have opposed marriage due to religion; perhaps it's about time to believe something not just because "God says". How about human dignity? Equal rights? I am straight with many gay friends, and their ability to get married has absolutely no negative effect on my personal life, nor does it negatively affect yours.

** To be clear, I was not implying your blog had no substance, Joanna. I have been reading your blog for two years now and I adore it. I understand blogs can offer an escape from heavier news, but I'm confident that your readership can handle a human rights issue every now and again. Love your blog :)

Sumslay, and to others who have commented on here: It really depends on how you decide what’s right and wrong. Do you just decide for yourself. God’s Word, the Bible, is where I go to for authority for what right and wrong is. And the Bible does make sense. God created man and woman with differences for a reason. If marriage wasn’t between a man and a woman, people would cease to exist! I don’t understand either how some people on here that think marriage should only be between a man and a woman and then say they are glad to see that these people are happy and think it’s good for them. I want to ask those who said that, what is your reasoning for not saying its okay in the first place?Just because one doesn’t agree with same sex marriage does not automatically make them a “hater.” I don’t agree with it, but I don’t hate those who are involved in same sex marriage. I just want them to know what the truth of the Bible says, and that’s actually out of love. I know I won’t find many who agree with this, but I also don’t mind if that makes me seem “archaic”.

And to those who disagree, I truly don't understand using "religion" as your opposing backbone? People are allowed to marry regardless of what their religion is. Marriage is not only for people of certain faith, be it Christian, Jewish, or any other. It's a right of all people. To some, it is tied to relgion, but to others it is not. It is simply a right, and one that should be able to be exercised by all, regardless of who their partners are! I truly hope more states follow suit.

Anonymous, which part of the Constitution are you referring to? I don't look at the Constitution as my ultimate authority either, again I look to God. God has said in His Word to obey the goverment as long as it doesn't go against His Word. So I will. I do agree with separation of church and state.

Absolutely love these photos and stories! It is so inspiring to see the dedication and love of these couples finally be recognized! If anything, I think this *strengthens* the cause for marriage. Beautiful!

shorty, clearly i'm HUGELY on the side of gay marriage and am thrilled that NY is recognizing it! i took that comment down literally as soon as i wrote it because i realized that in this case i don't agree with commenters who are against gay marriage in any way. i am in agreement with you, of course (which is why i wrote this post)! i support it for 10,000 reasons and actually worked at the ACLU one summer on a project supporting legalizing gay marriage. i am on your side!! xoxo

Amanda: "If marriage wasn't between a man and a woman, people would cease to exist"

This is not a fact.

1. What about men and women who aren't married but have children? My (straight) parents have been together for 31 years and have three children, but they were never formally married. I have not "ceased to exist"!

2. What about artificial insemination? Many gay and straight couples (or single parents) have used artificial insemination, sperm donors, surrogates, etc. to create children, none of which requires a marriage, just an egg and sperm.

3. Non-human animals do not engage in marriage, so does that mean that their species will cease to exist. Of course not.

4. Not every person on the earth needs to procreate in order to continue the human species. What about people who are infertile, incapable of sustaining a pregnancy, or just don't want children? Why is nobody starting a witch hunt for these people? Why is it only for gay couples? *I am NOT saying that there is anything wrong with people who don't want children. I'm undecided myself about whether I want to have kids. I'm just bringing up the curious fact that you think this possible cessation of the human species is because of gay people.

Ven, I'm sorry, you're right. I didn't word that correctly. I guess my main point with that poorly written statement was that one of the main reasons why God instituted marriage was for procreation, which is impossible between a same sex couple.

Amanda, I'm looking at the Equal Protection Clause. You may not look to the Constitution as the ultimate authority - that's your choice, and I'm not about to enjoin you from it - but it is, thankfully, the ultimate authority of law.

The following is a response I wrote to a friend on this issue a couple of years ago:

Now what you said about gay marriage and all that; I agree with you. I do think it is terrible that people would use religion as an excuse to hate a homosexual. Jesus did not hate homosexuals and he did not hate prostitutes and tax collectors. But the reason why Jesus sat with prostitutes and tax collectors is because He came to save sinners, not those who believed that they were righteous on their own and didn’t need a Savior. Jesus’ message has always been to love. He wants us to love people, but hate the sin. Jesus loved the prostitutes and tax collectors but He didn’t commend what they were doing. He told them their need to repent, to turn from their sin and put their trust in Him. Matthew 4:17 says, “From that time Jesus began to preach saying, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.’” John 3:16-17 says “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him.”

Now, I believe that God wrote the Bible by inspiring the authors what to write. 2 Timothy 3:16 says, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” Because Jesus is God (there are a number of verses in the Bible that say this, if you would like me to give them to you, let me know) and He literally is the Word of God, as John 1:1 says, than the entire Bible is what Jesus said. And there are a few different passages in which He says that homosexuality is sin. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says, “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

He doesn’t say that just homosexuals won’t enter the kingdom of heaven, but sinners, sinners that continue to practice sin with no desire to turn away from it. I myself have definitely fallen into some of that sin up there, greediness and idolatry (not actual golden idols, but loving something more than God, which is what idolatry actually is), etc. But God convicted me of that sin and changed me. So that I no longer make a PRACTICE of sinning, but I seek to obey Him. And that’s the point. The loving thing to do, although it may not appear to be, is to help someone see that they are a sinner in need of a Savior! If Jesus would meet a homosexual, or really, a person practicing the sin of homosexuality, He would lovingly tell them that it is sin and that they need to repent and trust in His sacrifice on the cross so that they may enter His Kingdom. That is true love.

Yahoo! So excited for NY. Here in Canada we were so happy to welcome gay marriage in 2005 and I'm elated that our close relative (NY) is jumping into the future and doing what's right! Thanks for braving the anonymous commenters of the world and posting this.

Just as an additional side note, just because I don't agree with same sex marriage, that does not mean that I think that they should be denied basic rights. Goes along with the idea of separation of church and state.