Twitter Updates

MARRIAGE

Nothing. Just making plans for finding a husband now that I can get married.

"You can get married in Florida??"

No. I mean, I can go to one of the states where it is legal and do it, and it means something big now. All the good marriage benefits are on the federal level.

"Oh. Who are you going to marry?"

I'm not sure yet.

"I'll help you look. Do you think it's going to be legalized in Kansas?"

Mmmmm...maybe not for a while. Illinois will be next.

"I think it will come here after that."

Wishful thinking, Mom. They're still teaching Creationism in public schools in Kansas.

"If it can happen in Iowa, it can happen here."

I think the state supreme court in Iowa legalized it because of wording in the state constitution. But in Illinois there is enough public support for it to be legalized.

"The Kansas state constitution was written based on the Illinois state constitution, so if it is legalized in Illinois then they can use the same argument in Kansas. When Kansas was becoming a state, I think they asked whoever wrote the Illinois constitution to come down and write it for Kansas too. I don't know. But the language is very similar in both documents."

Oh. Interesting.

"And there are going to be all sorts of legal issues now. Like what if you live in a state where it is legal, and you are married, but your company wants to transfer you to a state where your marriage isn't legal to save money because they don't have to pay spousal benefits? You could sue for discrimination."

(pause)

I see Chico's was having a sale on Smarty Pants.

"Mmm-hmm. I bought a pair in each color."

Apparently.

"Oh that reminds me. I have a funny story about your nieces. We were going to Chik-Fil-A, and--"

Wait, wait wait wait wait wait. You brought them to Chik-Fil-A?

"Yes, they wanted to go. And so I--"

I don't want to hear the rest of this story.

"But--"

Don't tell me.

"It's funny--"

I don't want to hear it.

"Why not?"

Because Chik-Fil-A is leading the evil empire against gay people getting married!

"I know, but--"

I can't believe you are telling me you went there and gave them your money.

(pause)

"But the girls wanted chicken nuggets."

I don't care. Bring them someplace else. They are old enough to understand what it means to spend money at business that use their profits to make laws that hurt their uncle. Vote with your dollars, Mother. Do you want me to get married or not?

Chipotle had a float in Chicago's Pride Parade that featured a guy riding a huge foil-wrapped burrito. (And that's not a euphemism.) So I think it's safe to say they're not campaigning against homosexuality.