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If Hogwarts Was Called Catsores... [E-Journal of an Evil Janitor]

In chapter three of "The E-Journal of An Evil Janitor," Voldemort arrives at Hogwarts to find that Mr. Filch (now "The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom") has made some creative changes to the school. It is now called Catsores, and everything is cat related.

So if everything in the school was cat-related (and keep in mind that you need not limit yourself to domestic cats; tigers, pumas, wildcats, jaguarundis, and ligers and company are perfectly welcome), what would be different?

Also, I kind of want some new cat-related house names that sound similar to the originals.

If you could give me some assistance of the wackiest kind, I would be much obliged.

Think lots of armchairs in sunbeams. No classes in dark dungeons. Also with mandatory nap-time.

The suits of armor would be replaced with statues of cats. Think ancient Egyptian cat-worship. A sphinx would now guard the entrance to Razorclaw (now more incentive to get the riddle right).

The Forbidden Forest would be turned into a wildlife game reserve for wild cats, and the Care of Magical Creatures, would be Catoring to the Whims of Your More Intelligent Masters, and now also mandatory. Potions would be a cooking class, becase we all know how picky eaters cats are.

Most food is liver and fish related. The door knocker on the Heads office in a cat claw. All doors are giant cat flaps! Fish fills the lake on the school grounds. The uniforms are leotards and they wear cat ears.

The paintings are cat related; there's even cats playing poker or Kitty Itch.

What about Giugnador? (For Gryffindor, Giugnas are my new favorite animal, having just beat out the narwhal (a cross between a dolphin and a unicorn)).

Also, you could install a giant one of those kitty condo things (like a house on a stick with a bunch of platforms) in the grounds for the students to climb on. You could feed the students out of gold kitty bowls, and give them milk instead of pumpkin juice (I don't think cats would like pumpkin juice, as cats don't tend to like fruity things... our kitten Bella likes raspberry-currant jam, but I think she's an exception). There could be giant balls of yarn in the common rooms for them to play with, and very large catnip mice. Students could be required to have a cat, not an owl, toad, or rat.

Students would be expected to spend fifteen minutes (or more if you're feeling particularly evil) a day staring aimlessly at walls.

Potions would be spent trying to create new types of gourmet cat food for Mrs. Norris.

All students would be expected to greet Mrs. Norris every morning, with the proper tone of respect and of course, the correct greeting, spoken in CatTongue.

Detentions for trying to kick Mrs. Norris! Detention for calling Mrs. Norris, "Norris" or "That Cat"! Detention for looking like a cat-hater! Detention for refusing to clean up Mrs. Norris's erm - sick - especially is she was sick because of your "potion" in the first place.

If Mrs. Norris coughs up a hair ball near you, pick it up and frame it. OR ELSE!