reprobate1125:I think that recognizing that you're too self-absorbed to have children is a good thing.

I do too, but for some people, there is no good reason not to have children. A lot of people can't even process the concept of not wanting children, so they assume something is wrong with people who don't.

sigdiamond2000:reprobate1125: I think that recognizing that you're too self-absorbed to have children is a good thing.

I do too, but for some people, there is no good reason not to have children. A lot of people can't even process the concept of not wanting children, so they assume something is wrong with people who don't.

Those people are just as wrong as people who can't think of any justification for having kids. Parenting is hard work. You can't put yourself first again until they are able to take care of themselves. It's not for everyone. I know irresponsible people who shouldn't have kids and great people who would make great parents if they tried but choose not to.

Nabb1:sigdiamond2000: reprobate1125: I think that recognizing that you're too self-absorbed to have children is a good thing.

I do too, but for some people, there is no good reason not to have children. A lot of people can't even process the concept of not wanting children, so they assume something is wrong with people who don't.

Those people are just as wrong as people who can't think of any justification for having kids. Parenting is hard work. You can't put yourself first again until they are able to take care of themselves. It's not for everyone. I know irresponsible people who shouldn't have kids and great people who would make great parents if they tried but choose not to.

Nabb1:sigdiamond2000: reprobate1125: I think that recognizing that you're too self-absorbed to have children is a good thing.

I do too, but for some people, there is no good reason not to have children. A lot of people can't even process the concept of not wanting children, so they assume something is wrong with people who don't.

Those people are just as wrong as people who can't think of any justification for having kids. Parenting is hard work. You can't put yourself first again until they are able to take care of themselves. It's not for everyone. I know irresponsible people who shouldn't have kids and great people who would make great parents if they tried but choose not to.

people think my wife and I would make great parents (don't ask me why, I have no bloody idea) - neither of us really want kids, and we get a ton of shiat for it from people who think they know everything about our lives and how we live. Why do people (not saying you) have to tell us that we are horrible people for the decisions we make in our lives?

I'm definitely not trying to sound all self-righteous because my job sounds a lot better than I personally am, but I've dedicated my life to building orphanages and clinics around the world and that would be extremely difficult to do if I had kids. Notice that I didn't say impossibly, but I've chosen to (some would say sacrifice) by not having kids of my own be able to help a lot more kids.

When only one segment of a population is subjected to limitations on their right to determine the course of their lives, something is wrong in that society.

This conversation isn't about children. It's about women and how free or not they are. Having children is a leading cause of poverty in this country for women. We do not have free preschools run by the government. We do not offer paid maternity leave. Pregnancy is very hard on women physically and is actually more dangerous than abortions. And children are insanely expensive.

I love children. I have many in my life and I enjoy playing with them. Cooking with and for them. Even watching Dora. I was a nanny for a life-long friend and her wonderful husband for six years. The eldest is getting her driver's license today and I am more than a little traumatized by that fact.

I am not selfish. I am not lazy. Or fickle. But I never wanted children.

And I am not alone. Fewer women are choosing to have children. And fewer are having abortions. BC is almost completely effective and almost universally available. (Now finally.) I imagine those rates will continue to decline as millions of women gain access to control over their bodies.

The idea of blaming women for not having children when it is such a burden in this country is flat out misogyny. What about all the childless men? Are they monsters? Do we look at them and think awful things about them?

what_now:Nabb1: After reading that article, I think she is making the right call because she comes off as way too self-absorbed to be a parent.

I don't get self absorbed at all. She doesn't want kids, and she doesn't want to deal with people who either a) tell her she'll change her mind or b) ask what's wrong with her

Believe me. It's farking annoying when people feel that your fertility is a topic of conversation.

She wrote and published a column about her fertility choices. She then took umbrage when some people took issue with her opinions (and some of those angry comments she highlighted were directed at her calling children "time-sucking monsters") and wrote another column about how dare they! Okay, fine, it's her choice and her choice alone, but when you go around writing columns calling children "time-sucking monsters", you are obviously trying to goad people into a response, and whose time would be "sucked" if she had kids? Hers. Yes, her time is so precious that any offspring that she bore would be "monsters" for daring to demand any of it. Her entire position revolves around "me, me, me, me, me" and most of her preceding column was devoted to demeaning and belittling people who don't agree with her philosophy and then a bunch of self-absorbed twaddle about how unappealing everything is to her.

I may look at a person/couple and think WTF are they doing with a child. Based on my opinion of their intelligence, personal choices and lifestyle (not sexuality, way of living) it just seems stupid as hell for them to have a baby.

I may look at people and say they should NEVER have children because I don't believe they are cut out to be parents.

But I will never question a person/couple who have determined that they do not want to become parents. They know their life so much better than I do and know something that I don't about it which says "no children for me".

Like the person up thread who doesn't want children because they build orphanages and clinics around the world. They made a tough for them choice not to have children so they can help so many more.

People shouldn't care who has kids or who doesn't. My only question for her is this. If you don't want kids why not get your tubes tied? And doctors shouldn't be able to ask why, just do it. Same for guys getting a vasectomy. The reasons don't matter. It's what they want.

My wife and I get constantly asked when we are going to have kids. She's 28 I'm 29, and we have absolutely no interest in having them. She works with kids daily, and I work with sick kids daily, that is more than enough for us.

I have heard everything on the bingo board at least twice...I don't understand what is so damn interesting about my reproductive status for uninvolved parties.

Unoriginal_Username:People shouldn't care who has kids or who doesn't. My only question for her is this. If you don't want kids why not get your tubes tied? And doctors shouldn't be able to ask why, just do it. Same for guys getting a vasectomy. The reasons don't matter. It's what they want.

A hysterectomy costs about 10 grand with time off of work for recovery thrown in. I'd say you're out about $15k on average.

A vasectomy makes more sense because it's reversible, you don't have final control over whether the child is birthed, and you're fertile for the rest of your life.

Philibuster:My wife and I get constantly asked when we are going to have kids. She's 28 I'm 29, and we have absolutely no interest in having them. She works with kids daily, and I work with sick kids daily, that is more than enough for us.

I have heard everything on the bingo board at least twice...I don't understand what is so damn interesting about my reproductive status for uninvolved parties.

When people ask if Mrs. PCoC and I have kids, I always tell them, "Oh, we can't have kids."

The reason I do this is because about half the time, the person will say, "Really? Why not?"

I always used to get the "You would make such a great Dad" line from people.HOW the F*CK do they know? So annoying. I might be an OK person in general, but you have no way of telling what kind of parent someone will be.

Anyway, I am a Dad now, but don't really think I'm all that great. It is a lot of hard work.