Sunday, July 31, 2011

Is The Wedding World as "Glammyrous" as You Think?

This is a question I find myself asking myself (ha) almost daily. Don't mistake this as if I'm not happy with my clients, staff or along with the trust we've been granted. This comment truly means this is not an easy task and to be honest, it's never going to be "easy" (easier, yes).

I so cringe when people say this is simple. There is nothing easy/simple about marriage and planning for one. Get real. This is serious stuff and it's not about us, it's about them.

Sometimes, we may have to wait 2 years+ to hear what a benefit we were to a couple, their families and more. It's worth it, really it is. I don't blame them for being on guard. After all, they meet me for an hour + and they invest in my services to ensure the ones they love are happy. That is not always an easy situation and you do need to work with caution to gain their trust. As a mother, I will expect the same when my 7 year old going on 85 tells me to butt out or snap to it as "You should know me momma".

While I joke about how I fell into this career, it is the truth when I share with various vendors around the world (an honor and still unreal or surreal) this career you see "chose me".

I love that it has allowed me to express a side that wasn't on the list of "wants". I truly love to make people happy. Weddings are just a piece of the bigger puzzle or picture.

I just like it and have developed a passion that I do not see too often in most careers. How many people can say they LOVE what they do?
I don't doubt this judgment and I know if you choose to read this, you too understand what I mean. There are no words.

I have not been on the east coast for long. Actually,it's less than a decade That is not much time to get "acclimated" to the way it works "here". I admit being most envious that I did not have someone like myself to warn me of what would be good, what not to rush into or say and what to stay away from to be successful long term if I really wanted what long term meant. The truth, I jumped in and took a chance. I did have the skill-set no doubt and I believe that my passion is now shown in ways that most of those who aspire see.

They are the ONLY ones that matter at this point, be very clear with that comment.

I did not have a "Me" when I needed it. I want to make sure someone does have this when they are ready to take a leap that could cause a rollercoaster to tip or like me...ruffle the feathers. Maybe that's why I have an obsession with feathers; they do have a huge significance in my life. Hence "Sassi Sammi" the gal behind the boa who really is just like you, but may have issues with the "foot in mouth" syndrome on a few occasions. I do know that some wish they had this trait as there are times we just want to combust maybe that would be therapeutic for some? Don't knock it until you try it. Just be careful with whom, we do have some “miserable players" and they will try to break ya, if you let them.

Is it possible to have someone hate you (a true ethical leader in our industry) yes, hate is a word I don't use for people, food yes. Someone who is that insecure that they destroy certain things that kept you sane in someways. More like a personal vendetta but not knowing you makes that a hard one to understand because you never met them. So what does that mean? It means they suck too. And again, per advice of many who cares? They are right. And they are NOT known or valued as much as they believe they are. Maybe someday, those who do chat will confront them and maybe it will end?

The many agents I have worked with and the vendors I have met have taught me more than I can explain. Most importantly they advised me NOT to care about the others and what they say, if they like me or how they run their business. I did listen to all of them. They said just "Be Sam" and don't give a Da...” And I don't. I am here to do my best and while it's been tough, I have some great memories and accomplishments and more to look forward to later this year.

I have stayed quiet (for me that means no blogging) for so long about so much and am happy that I've a chance to speak honestly about the who's who and the ones that just suck..Sorry. Is suck a bad word?

The concept of networking means you gather info, you help each other and you learn new things with every event you have. Even those of us who have been in the industry for 20+ years screw up. The honest ones will admit this on any given day and the ones who are shady will lie.

Ask them. Look into their eyes and see do they really look back at you with all the "passion" in their soul? No. Not all. Not many and that is just so sad.

I have never met those of my platform aka point in my career, not ever. I have reached out. I'm not too proud. I do know what you feel like when you email someone from TV and you just don't know how to ask for some guidance. Rejection is the worst. You email and re-write over and over because you want it to be perfect. What you need to understand, they are just people who are at a different place in their career. No it's not right and yes it's a shame, but it's not personal. It cannot be. They don't know you and that's their issue not yours. DON'T GIVE UP. DON'T subject yourself to that ask wondering if you can do this. If you doubt yourself, then you will fail.

While I have reached out to many for different reasons, thinking we could have some kind of "bounce the idea" or in once case to warn another professional who is most noted about a "shady" client. It had a negative outcome. I did not have to do this, but as a peer I thought I was doing this person a favor. That "person" had their assistant call me to get more details. You know what I said FU figure it out yourself. Oh and by the way, have a good day. I always end with a smile.

How is it that there are a small number of us in the US under 20 perhaps and we do not communicate with each-other? What is this nonsense I hear about them bring afraid of new planners etc stealing their business? How can you steal something that was never yours? And how can you be so shallow as to think you are that good?

We are the ones that 90% of this industry looks up to. They admire all of us for specific reasons and/or accomplishments. They just want to learn. Where is the crime? We've had many interns, let me tell you only one screwed me. And it hurt me personally, not the company.

So the answer is no I will not stop hiring aspiring planners. However, they must be trained first and whether that is with me or elsewhere, I ask for that.

Let's be honest, I do have an interesting way of doing things. I admit that.

The truth, I just don't care about those things anymore. There is much more that needs to be done. If we don't share the right way to be successful, we will not be a fun, exciting and fulfilling industry for long. We all know this. But yet, no one makes a move.

PLEASE no more seminars for planners about getting rich and buying furs vacations and even a boat...PLEASE stop sharing how social media will be the way to become successful and PLEASE stop having those FAKE REALLY a WASTE of money seminars of how they too can be in magazines? Is that what makes one successful? Really? I use media to share ideas and experiences. Not really my work and what "people" I have worked with. If you really want to know, it's out there.

Is it really that important? Ask yourself is it right to ask those who have just started out to pay hundreds of dollars to hear brags, make more $$ and be famous? You are filling their heads with lies! You know as much as I do the media wants new info, true leaders that change this career and those who share what works. Someone who has never planned won't receive what you claim they will have. Give them something they can call their own, especially if you charge a ton...Forget the crappy swag bags too. They are junk and if they cannot use it or eat it like what we share with clients, they dump it.

We have orgs that are BEYOND fabulous. I am a HUGE ISES fan. In the beauty world they had ISES shows that we worked with 4-6 times a year. ISES has always been good to me and I will continue to say they are the best by far for learning, networking and so many things. Join THEM...and if you cannot afford it, talk to a chapter they will work with you. Sometimes vendors in those particular chapters donate funds so that some can get a break in price. That truly warms my heart.

I admit I have not been active as much as I would like, but am so thankful you hire me to speak. I do not charge a ton based on name or exp, I could, I don't want to.

Now you may ask about other orgs and I cannot honestly say that one particular one is a very good one. Esp. when the president, who I've never met, passed judgment doesn't know me and has never been in the same room as me. This person took the words of one person who has their ear and just believed it. If you knew what was said, if you knew who this was you would be disgusted. You may not believe it. So the paper trail is there when I need it. I have no reason to lie. It hurt, and why did it have to happen?

This person (not saying the XYZ PDQ) has no idea about my background or my abilities and honestly I would describe this "wise one" (Sarcastic for sure. I know you would expect nothing less from me) as a major a cluster fuck.

Yes, I did JUST say the F Bomb...Sorry. I know that many of you have shared these same thoughts and well, what can you do right? You have sent some fabulously funny emails and I thank you for that. And for doing what is right. You are amazing and real.

GUYS...Look into the mirror, whether you have done 1 wedding or 1400, you are who you are and will make this work in the capacity that is meant for YOU.
There are some great educators that can help and no they don't have books with just photos, they don't brag about how many mags they are in and they spend hours in a conference designed just for you w/o robbing you of your first born. BTW, they don't share what celebs they have worked with. That's beyond the scope of cheesy and such a plea for help based on insecurity.

Wouldn't it be great to choose the next president of a trade organization that has absolutely NO CLUE about this biz we are in? One that at least, shares the meaning of the word "Ethics" (not just the word, the MEANING). This is with a straight face instead of like a crinkled tattoo in the "Cracker Jack" box. Yes, they do still have a prize. I love those tattoos...BUT if this person’s face was on one, I might totally eliminate that favorite food for champions.

I do hope that doesn't happen. If it does, maybe I will be left with a less known brand. You know I will make sure that brand does become the next "Cracker Jack Hero". It's what we do when those have great potential. Call it karma. You share, you give and someday when you least expect it, a reward which is not always physical shows itself.

Trust me. This year is not over; We've a great schedule ahead. This means to be a guest speaker, trainer and best form of flattery, to meet more people! My own classes and yes watching my team grow with friends/partners whatever. We have the most amazing clients that have trusted me with more innate design.

How could one not be happy? Guess what? I did not have to change one thing which is proof even a wacky, silly off the wall designer can still make things happen despite those who choose not to partake in that world.

1 comment:

I love this blog! When I first got in the business (officially), I joined a local group here called Buffalo Niagara Event Professionals and when I asked a couple of the event planners in the group a few generic questions about their success, how did they get started, how many clients do they get a year, how do they price (%, hourly or flat)they froze up and evaded the question. I was stunned. Here I am in a group of other professionals who did not want to talk about their business.

In Buffalo, we're the smallest largest city that I know of and yet people in the industry still want to remain hush hush about the logistics of their business. There are enough of people in the city to go around. Why is it that they feel threaten when asked these questions? It's so unnecessary.

I want to educate newbies, so they won't make the same mistakes I have. I absolutely love what I do because I am helping others from all facets (planners, brides, clients, etc).

I devote my time to ensuring our clients recieve fab service. There's another "calling" for me. To give back to my peers that aspire to be the next "best" fancy pants somebody! Those who play it safe standing behind me, will fail. I do serve as a warning to others and yes, I'm nutty. It's who I am & it's not going to change, as it works. Feel free to comment & join me on what could be the best road trip EVER!