You know what I hate more than anything? I was weighing it out, and economy-sized toilet bowls were winning by far (you know the ones that are small enough that the tip of your dick touches the water?!), then a winner came out of left field and took the cup: Economy-sized urinal stalls! You know, the ones that are just big enough to qualify as a stall, but not deep enough to catch the spray when your piss hits the backside of them?! Jesus Christ, there's nothing worse than having to hold back while you piss, for fear of the spray getting all over your pantlegs. Once it actually did, at the movies. There I was with speckles of piss all over the thighs of my pants, walking out of the washroom, pissed as hell (no pun intended).

Oh, and couldn't they have chosen another name for urinal cakes than urinal CAKES?! Cake is such a good thing to taint with the word urine. Even urinal pies isn't that bad. That's it, I'm going to market urinal pies! Benefit: thinner and (slightly) cheaper. Although, the downside is you can't shove a candle in one of them and sing Happy Birthday...