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Alright, alright, will admit I’m a bit late to this one. Actually I’ve been on holiday so I didn’t get a chance to give it the attention it so obviously deserves.

If you haven’t seen it, this poster says just about everything that is wrong with Hong Kong and its delightful but pretentious/self-obsessed/uptight/sexually-retarded female-folk.

The pitch? Bag yourself an eligible bachelor at HK Speed Dating night. The twist: you can get that rich gweilo you’ve always been after.

Yes, for the bargain price of HK$4800, around 20 lucky local gals had the chance to meet the man of their dreams (as long as he is 35-48, foreign and a professional) the other week. Wonder how it went? I heard the venue had to be changed at the last minute. If anyone has any feedback I’d love to hear.

Apparently hkspeeddating.com has been doing this kind of thing since 2004. According to Hong Wrong, previous events have included: Bunnies House Birthday Party & Lingerie Show, Dinner with Millionaires and Social Skills Workshop: How to Meet People. Brilliant.

Dinner was also included, although I’m not sure exactly how that works in a speed dating scenario. Do you keep the same plate and glass with you? What about cutlery? Has got to be a nightmare for the waiting staff…

Seriously, though, why do these events exist? Well, aside from the inverse racism and conspicuous greed which makes a rich foreign banker the ideal choice of mate for many Hong Kong girls, there are other factors.

As this latest survey states, women vastly outnumber men in the SAR, and sky high property prices mean many can’t afford a place of their own. It goes on to say that, partly as a result, Hong Kongers are among the most sexually timid people in the world – and that presumably includes Singapore.

I personally think these excuses are bullshit and nothing several vodka and cokes can’t change.

So here’s what needs to happen:

1) Some budding Japanese Love Hotel owner needs to get on this shit, right now, and provide ample rentable sex space for Hong Kong’s young lovers.

2) Hong Kong girls need to get over themselves, lower their impossibly high standards, stop working so hard, move out of their parents’ house, stop listening to terrible music, and get drunk and have sex with a random bar guy once in a while.

It is NOT ROCKET SCIENCE.

Then, just maybe, they won’t need the services of sites like this (no offence, hkspeeddating.com).

Ooh. I see that coming up this weekend they have a “Dinner with flight attendants” event – must put my name down for that one.