At $3.2 million, Swiss fashion house SuitArt's Diamond Armor has nabbed the title of Most Expensive Suit in the World. The current title. I will obliterate it next month when I debut my Diamond & Adamantium Armor for $3.21 million. Note: I plan to sell the Adrenasuit to those who demonstrate true superhero potential at a bargain rate of $2.8 million.

Each custom-tailored set of Diamond Armor will take its first name from the 880 black diamonds decorating its buttons and lapel, and its last from the following characteristics and flourishes:

Bulletproof to Level II Protection by NATO Standards. We've seen bulletproof clothing before, and Diamond Armor carries on the tradition in collaboration with Croshield, a developer of body armor and ballistic protective equipment. (See video for their demo). Diamond-encrusted and bulletproof? Already this suit has insanely rich men who constantly piss people off written all over it. Namely politicians and Kanye West.

Waterproof. Schoeller Technologies draws from the natural ability of certain plant leaves to deter dirt and water from clinging to their fine textured surfaces. The company emulates this process with their nanotech textiles, which will comprise Diamond Armor's top layer. Outer fabric will be waterproof and dirt-resistant.

Active Cooling System. Bulletproof, waterproof, dripping with diamonds. Sounds hot. Like, the thermal kind. It would be too if Diamond Armor didn't incorporate EMPA's Air Conditioned Suit System. (EMPA is the Swiss Federal Laboratories for Materials Science and Technology.) Activated at the push of a button, the integrated technology will humidify water/water vapor (i.e., brewing sweat) to cool its wearer down. Men, get ready to look comfortably fancy at high noon in August!

Art. Diamond Armor is lined with silk, and the silk printed with artwork and signed by Luciano Goizueta, a famous and revered artist I have never heard of. I'm sure he's great though. Art just isn't my thing because I prefer hobbies and interests that aren't mind-numbingly boring.

Tie. No suit is complete without one. The Diamond Armor suit isn't complete without one made from 24K gold. Golden fabric, golden thread, and black silk backing. SuitArt alleges the tie marks the first pure gold fabric in the world.

Watch. Carl F. Bucherer of Lucerne has made a limited edition of only 125 Patravi Traveltec timepieces. Diamond Armor has one of them. (I wonder what happens if they sell 2 suits. Maybe a discount of the second down to $3 million?) Watches are a combination of gold, ceramic, titanium, and rubber.

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