Yeah, I see /SAM has Hasso and Meditate. But f-ck that. TP gain is for faggots. I’m a fucking Dark Knight. I can kill the damn thing in one hit. And, even if I miss, I bet I’ll be able to pull it off the next go round. I like putting up big numbers. It makes my dick hard.

What’s that? I should go /THF? F-ck that. That’s gay. SATA? Gay. Seigan? Gay. Utsusemi? Galka Puppetmaster gay. Im a f-cking Dark Knight. You can’t just expect high numbers to come to you. You can’t massage that shit. You gotta grab that mob by the throat and rape the ever-loving shit out of it. You think a 500 SATAWS is gonna kill the thing? You’re a pu-sy. There ain’t SAMs running this offense. Sexy Elvy’s got the damage. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I’m busting out a 200TP WS. Nice. Look at that damage. I look good. I bet I made that Mithra RDM wet her panties with that hit. She f-cking wants me. I bet she likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh shit. Looks like it didn’t die with that hit. Again. Oh well. It still felt fucking great to see the HP bar go down. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest Spiral Hells you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna gain to 300TP the next time I’m not staring at the sky. I’m gonna hit it even stronger. Harder. You see that goblin digging holes with his little shovel? I’m gonna nail him right between the f-cking eyes with a Sexy Elvy SoulEater-Guillotine. Why? Because I can.

This is an Elvaan DRK we’re talking about here. We’re talking 210 lbs. of twisted steel and sex appeal. I’m not just a gunslinger. I’m a cumslinger. Hitting the mob hard tells all the Elvaanettes that I am fucking out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pretty Cross Reaper every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to pumping that mob out for all it’s worth. It tells them I hit like I fuck. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.