This is seriously how Tom Singer's story about Brandon Inge at Pirates.com starts:
Clint Hurdle may finally have his Jose Oquendo.
This, if you'd forgotten or never knew or never cared, is Jose Oquendo. It's not so much that the comparison to Oquendo is out of line, it's that I can't figure out why anyone would go looking for a modern Jose Oquendo.
A good spring training rule of thumb is this: if it finds its way onto a prominent spot on the team's website, it's important. This is probably bad news for Josh Harrison, and entirely inconsequential to everyone else in the universe, since neither Josh Harrison nor Brandon Inge are very good at baseball.

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