The horror of cancer hits hard

Every family has been affected by cancer in one way or another. But, in the past two weeks, two families of mine have been ravaged.

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By Adam W. Leech

seacoastonline.com

By Adam W. Leech

Posted Mar. 21, 2014 at 2:00 AM

By Adam W. Leech
Posted Mar. 21, 2014 at 2:00 AM

» Social News

Every family has been affected by cancer in one way or another. But, in the past two weeks, two families of mine have been ravaged.

On the Friday morning my last column was published, I learned my Uncle Greg died following a year-long battle with lung cancer. We knew it wasn't going to be long. He had made countless trips to Dana-Farber in Boston in an attempt to keep it at bay, but the cancer kept spreading. Toward the end, he could barely move.

That morning, I went to see my father, my grandmother and grandfather, who had spent the early hours of the day with Greg's wife, Teresa, and their son, Lane. The tears were flowing steadily as they mourned their loss, but all felt a sense of relief for Greg. He was in a better place and he wasn't hurting anymore.

Uncle Greg maintained a positive outlook as he courageously fought the disease; he never got depressed or angry. He didn't know how many moments he had left, but he did his best to make each one count.

On Saturday, I got a call from grandmother asking for help writing his obituary. Of course, I was happy to oblige.

On Sunday, I was asked for help again. But this time it was from my good friend Dave, who was working with his siblings to write a call for help for his parents. Their father, Russ, was diagnosed with esophageal cancer last year around the same time Uncle Greg was.

It's not that I don't believe in coincidences, but this didn't feel like one.

The Foxes have always long been my second family. Lillian and Russ have a large, closely knit family that has been active in the Wells community for many years. Dave was one of my groomsmen; we've been close since we worked together in the dish room of my parents' restaurant 20 years ago. Laurie was in my grade and, as her elder by an entire day, she has always been my "little sis" and I her "big bro." Kevin is a bit older, but has always been like a big brother by extension and was one of my high school football coaches. Their oldest son, Brian, is well-known in the community and worked for my father for many years.

Their home was always so inviting, full of kindness and laughter. They never needed an excuse to get together, just a sporting event or a board game. They made everyone feel like family.

So it was tough on a lot of people when Russ was diagnosed. To say they've had a tough go of it would be a severe understatement. But it wasn't until Dave contacted me that I realized how difficult it has been.

Like Uncle Greg, Russ and Lil have become all too familiar with the route from Wells to Dana-Farber. The expenses add up quickly and Russ has been unable to work. Meanwhile, they are also supporting Brian, who has had a tough go of it health-wise. And, if the cancer weren't enough, Russ was just admitted to Brigham and Women's Hospital to treat an unrelated kidney problem.

Then, on the way to Boston recently, their only functioning vehicle died.

Talk about being kicked while you're down.

Desperate, but unable to do anything on their own, the Fox kids sought the help of friends and family through an online fund-raising site, setting a goal of $5,000 for a down payment on a reliable vehicle. It was a long shot, but the options were limited.

The link was sent around Monday evening and immediately their story started to spread through the large network of friends and family. Before we left for Uncle Greg's funeral on Tuesday morning, I looked at the site to see how they were doing. In fewer than 24 hours, they had surpassed their goal.

The funeral was an incredible celebration of Uncle Greg's life, a wonderful blend of laughter and tears thanks to the stories shared by my father, aunts and uncles. Uncle Greg was a unique individual — a man of many ideas, many projects and many friends. Hundreds of people filtered in and out of the church over the course of two days to pay their respects and share their stories. He seemed to make friends wherever he went, and they clearly loved him.

Uncle Greg was laid to rest next to his parents, overlooking the ocean below a perfect blue sky. The unusually mild temperature in the midst of a brutally frigid winter felt like a warm hug from the heavens. As we stood in the cemetery, three planes soared through the sky simultaneously — a flyover, we chuckled, seemingly by design.

We returned home to messages of amazement from Laurie, as they more than doubled their goal in less than 24 hours. The deluge of generosity and love for Russ has overwhelmed the Fox family and continues to pour in from friends, family and strangers.

Russ' battle continues. The family remains optimistic, but more expenses are on the way. If you have ability and the inclination, please help:

http://www.gofundme.com/7doon0. Every little bit will help make this terrible situation easier.

Cancer stinks. This is inescapable. It has made the past year the most difficult either of my families have ever experienced. But, incredibly, despite the horrible circumstances, the story of the past couple of weeks has not been about loss, pain, worry or struggles. It has been about celebration, love, hope and generosity.

For that, I am ever-thankful and thoroughly amazed.

Adam W. Leech lives with his wife, Barbara, and two young sons in Southern Maine. He can be reached at awleech@yahoo.com.