“Jerry Krause was right,” said DC co-publisher Dan DiDio, quoting the General Manager credited with breaking up the Michael Jordan era Chicago Bulls. “Players don’t win championships, organizations win championships. DC Comics is an organization and we’re making some adjustments to better align our product with the organization.”

The new writing structure is as follows: DiDio will co-plot all 52 of DC’s core universe titles with each title’s respective editor. Scripting duties will be passed down to assistant editors.

“Editors are the real stars,” explained DiDio. “Freelance writers dilute the editorial vision. They’re not in the office so if you need to make a change, you have to track them down. They don’t always correctly interpret direction. By making this simple organizational adjustment, fans will be able to experience comics that are more accurate to DC’s intent and their lives will be richer for it.”

This organizational change will also enable DC to adapt the popular technology management system, “The Lean Startup” to comics.

“The basic idea is all about sampling and reacting to readership,” DiDio offered. “Instead of a ‘Minimal Viable Product,’ which has just enough features to see if there’s a customer base, we’re going to be starting out with a ‘Minimum Viable Plot.’ You can test a Minimum Viable Plot a number of ways: publish the first issue, release a preview or leak the plot to a website. If the reaction is bad, you ‘Pivot’ and change the plot. Eventually, you’ll find something the fans like.

“You may have noticed we’ve been informally testing this system and making Pivots ever since the New 52 launched. It’s been working so well, we decided to go ahead and make it our formal organizational procedure. By integrating writing into editorial, we increase the speed at which we can pivot. It’s not like we weren’t already doing most of the plotting.”

When asked for reaction to the news, Marvel Editor-In-Chief Axel Alonso replied “Marvel plans editorial moves out far in advance and we would be unable to implement something like this for at least six months.”

Actually, WB has been in secret meetings with Alan Moore. They’re offering him DiDio’s job, in exchange for the rights to his books back and the freedom to fire Grant Morrison. Morrison has seen this coming for a while. That’s why he’s been so vocally apposed to Moore.

UPDATE: In a press release issued moments ago, DC stated it has fired all of its editors after entering an agreement with the Central Park Zoo’s snow monkies, who have agreed to work for peanuts. The release goes on to state the company expects no production delays or any reduction in the quality of their titles. In fact, DC expects a surge in sales, as the monkies have indicated they will reinstate DC’s once highly successful “monkey on the cover” policy from the 1950s and 1960s.

Of course they’ll turn Scott Snyder into senior editor for everything Batman related and Jeff Lemire into senior editor for everything people usually don’t want to buy. So there’s still hope for some writers to stay on the payroll.

I rather wish this story hadn’t been concocted. It might give the powers that be at DC the idea to actually do it. All I’ve been reading this this horrid, miserable, PC “New 52″ came along has been Legion and most of the Green Lantern titles. With an “exciting new direction” slated for the GL corner of the DC Universe, that leaves the Legion — for now. It’s sad, it really is.

I’m looking forward to the follow up article that covers how editorial decides which titles are green-lighted, which get canceled, and which stay alive. I’ve always wanted to see photos of this legendary DC Wet Noodle Wall where each noodle represents a different title. Whatever noodle sticks to the wall, stays.

I just feel sorry for the poor intern that has to write the name of the book onto each noodle in teeny-tiny letters.

[…] Over in the world of comics, popular blog Comics Beat couldn’t resist taking a pot shot at DC Comics co-publisher Dan Didio with this claim that DC’s entire writing staff had been fired, and that editorial staff would take over creative du…. […]