Thursday, February 15, 2007

Pharmaceuticals To Make Life Better

Yesterday I had a Dr. appointment. No, not the head shrink Dr. I don’t go there anymore, just my regular GP. It was just a follow up visit to make sure the acid blockers (Prevacid) prescribed for my reflux are working – and they are. The visit took all of 5 minutes and in the 5 minutes that my Dr’s assistant spoke to me I became convince she was either smoking crack or one of those hippie homeopathic “Doctors” as she followed up her question of how well the prescription was working for me with this statement “I’m going to give you a prescription with 6 months of refills on it and then we’ll see about getting you off them completely.” I said “Uhhhh…” and luckily for me my expression said quite a bit (probably “Are you out of your fucking mind?”) because she said “I see you have doubts about getting off them.” I said “I’ve been on them for a long time… like 10 years or more.” And before I could add anything she said some shit about the makers of this delightful drug suggest people only stay on their drug for a certain amount of time, yadda, yadda, yadda. I don’t know what she said after that, my mind sort of blanked out and was full of vivid imagery of me plotting her death and my wondering what the hell kind of ‘doctor’ she was for wanting someone to be off a major pharmaceutical? Did the makers of my pills stop sending her gifts? Was she tired of the samples and pens they give? I wanted to tell her that unless the magical fairies had suddenly crapped a whole load of magical pixie dust on her giving her some special power to make my horrible reflux disappear that getting me off the Prevacid for good wasn’t in the cards. I’m not psychic but I’ve been off the pills before and it’s a little uncomfortable and somewhat painful for me. That is if you were to consider someone holding a blow torch to any part of your body for ‘uncomfortable’ and if by ‘painful’ you mean the feeling of your entire body being bitten by red ants – then my stomach is uncomfortable and painful without the medication. Me personally, I’d prefer to avoid all that, I’d prefer not to have my stomach acids boiling like an angry volcano and I’d definitely prefer to not have my stomach acids trying to eat a hole through my esophagus. I’m just funny like that. She’s out of her damn mind.

I figured the next visit in 6 months will have to be with my primary dr. and not this chick as I KNOW for a fact my primary Dr. is paid off by the drug companies – she’s the QUEEN of the samples! I have yet to visit her and not leave the office with out at least a 6 week supply of whatever she has on hand.

Moving on now…

Kindergarten Valentine’s

Today when Cabbage Patch got off the bus, she was nearly bursting with jubilation. It was quite cute. Her extreme enthusiasm was caused by none other than Valentine’s Day! To be exact, the fact that SHE HAD GOTTEN VALENTINES! AND! CANDY! I couldn’t help but laugh at her joy over her first school Valentine’s party and how great it was that she had a box full of cheap sappy pieces of paper and some crappy candy (and a temporary tattoo!). It was the cutest thing in the whole fucking world. Damn she’ll be funny when she has her first boyfriend… which is not going to happen until she’s 20... or 30. Sheesh… I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Valentine’s Part II Blame The Man

K relayed this story that brought tears to my eyes. Tears of pride in my tiny little girls. Pride that the genetics of being a WOMAN have taken hold in my offspring. When K got home from work – shortly after they went to bed, he went upstairs to tell them to quiet down, go to bed and good night. The first thing they asked was if he got them a Valentine. His completely incorrect response was “I thought your mother handled that, didn’t she buy some chocolates yesterday.” Super Girl responded “*sigh* Those were for school dad.” She’s only just now 8 and she already knows it’s the mans fault… always.

As for me, well I really didn’t expect BOB to go shopping for me. I did however give him some fresh batteries. ;-) And nothing says love like BOB with fresh batteries.