From: MISS PATRICIA HOOD
Dr. Erin
By Patricia Hood
Aaron had just finished his last quarter of classes before he began
his internship as a counselor.
He looked forward to beginning a new life and getting started with
his career. It had been several
weeks and he had still not heard back from any of his contacts.
While looking through a
Psychiatric magazine he noticed a small advertisement for counselors
at a very exclusive rest
home.
Hattenburg Hospital/ Ritensburg Sweden:
Wanted: Research assistant/Counselor needed. Successful applicant
must speak English, and be
FIS+ and knowledgeable in this field of counseling. For further
information call (503) 555-1264.
Aaron tried to do some research on the abbreviation, but could find
no mention of "FIS" in any of
his reference books. "Why do they want the counselor to have FIS...
what ever that is?". With
his curiosity at a peak he made the call. The phone number was a US.
number but the person on
the other end spoke with a thick accent... probably German. After
speaking at length, about his
counseling credentials, they notified him of a review process that
would take place in Canada.
They would make the airline reservations if he was interested. Aaron
was so excited that he
agreed and gave them his information over the phone. They told him
to be sure and bring his
papers with him, and to make sure he had no pressing business. He was
also told to obtain a
passport because if he was accepted they would require him to fly
directly to Ritensburg.
He could hardly believe it. He set about obtaining the necessary
releases and Visa he would need.
The review was to be in 3 weeks and he was given a name at the
Swedish Embassy to contact to
speed up the passport process. He was also sent an airline ticket
and an expense voucher in the
mail. Aaron didn't have much in the way of furniture, and he could
easily get out of his apartment
if he needed to. Every thing came together nicely.... until the day
of his departure. When he
arrived at the airport he ran into a small snag... it took several
minutes to hash out with the ticket
agent that a mistake had been made on his reservation. The name on
the ticket was Erin Brown
instead of Aaron. Convinced that it was just a simple mistake....he
was on his way.
The accommodations in Ontario were lavish. A large suite in an up
scale Hotel. He was to be
there for 3days for the review process. The review was taking place
over the course of 2 weeks.
Several applicants would be screened. All of them were kept separate
from one another and
Aaron never even saw any of the others.
Finally he was called to come to a local hospital for his medical
evaluation. Aaron was
embarrassed at having to undress for the doctor. The doctor was an
imposing woman 6ft tall if
she was an inch, with short blond hair. She had a friendly smile,
but Aaron was always more than
a little self conscious of his thin body. Even though the others he
had met spoke fair English, it
was obvious that the Dr. did not. The first thing she did was to
draw a blood sample. This was
quickly followed by a body measurement. The tape quickly went around
several parts of his
body... including his upper arm, neck and chest. As she measured his
thin upper arm she smiled....
"Ist Good", she said. For the remainder of the examination Aaron
wondered what she meant by
that. After all was finished he was sent down
to a review board. They spent a great deal of time asking some very
personal questions. In the
end he wondered if he had gotten the job... they seemed so demanding,
he thought.
Aaron didn't have too long to wait for the answer. Only about
20 minutes had passed
before the phone rang back at his hotel room. He recognized the voice
of the doctor on the other
end. She said in broken English "Congratulations, you have just been
accepted as our prime
candidate for the position. Please pack up your few things and report
back to the hospital at 8 AM
tomorrow morning. You won't be returning to the hotel so make sure
you don't leave anything
behind. Good day Erin".
"What was that", Aaron thought, "did she say Erin??? Ahh, it must
have been her accent".
Suddenly he was wrapped up in the thought of having won the job and
felt elated at the prospect
of beginning a new life in Europe. Aaron didn't sleep well that
night, his head full of thoughts of
his new job, so when the alarm finally rang at 6:30 he was feeling
pretty beat. He managed to grab
a quick shower and threw his things into his suitcase haphazardly and
snapped it shut. He caught
the hotel shuttle to the hospital and prepared himself mentally for
the day ahead. When he arrived
at the hospital he was greeted by the same doctor that had examined
him the day before. She
grabbed him by the hand and started down the hallway saying " come
with me, we must make you
ready for your journey to Ritensburg and there is much we must do
before then."
She propelled him down the various hallways and corridors until
they finally arrived in what
looked like a medium sized laboratory in a secluded section of the
hospital. When they stopped in
the middle of the room the doctor went back to the door to shut and
lock it, and for the first time
Aaron got a good look at the doctor and noticed why she was so tall.
She was wearing at least 4"
high heels which were kept in place by 2 tiny locks on the straps
around her ankles. She was,
Aaron noticed, very shapely also with a tiny waist. He wondered what
kind of doctor she actually
was. He could think of a few things He'd like to be treated for at
that moment. The doctor
returned to stand in front of Aaron with her hand on her hips and
told him he needed to remove
his clothing again for further inspection and to 'clean' him up for
the trip to Ritensburg. Aaron was
a bit apprehensive now that he had noticed the doctors great looks
but he wanted this job badly
and
didn't want to cause any problems so he stripped down to his birthday
suit like he was told. She
walked around him looking him up and down saying "Yes, I think we've
made a very good choice
after all." Next she went to one of the cabinets and removed a small
jar which she then handed to
Aaron. She instructed him to rub the cream inside the jar all over
his body in a relatively even
coating. She told him that it was a depilatory cream and that it was
necessary to remove all of
his body hair in order to avoid transporting any infectious agents
into the Hattensburg hospital as
it was always a sterile environment. Aaron again reluctantly agreed,
after all, what did he know
about European hospital standards??? He applied the cream as he was
instructed and it began to
itch almost immediately.
The doctor assured him it would be over in just a few minutes and
it really was necessary. After
what seemed like an hour, but it was only 10 minutes, he was
instructed to enter the shower stall
in the corner of the lab and wash off the cream and all his body hair
with it. Aaron was surprised
at how smooth his body felt with all the hair removed from it. He
kind of liked it actually. But he
was wondering if there were any other preparations they would have to
make before his trip.
Things went rather quickly after that. He was given 2 injections and
taken to the airport. He was
met there by another female doctor who was to be his escort. A
service had prepared his passport
for him and he was handed the papers. His hand went to his face. He
loved the way it felt with it
completely smooth and he wondered how long it would take before he
would have to shave
again.
Aaron was much too tired to be very talkative on the 9hr flight,
but he couldn't help but feel that
something had changed. Once they landed, it was a short drive to
Rittensburg. It was a lovely
hospital set on rolling grounds. He was shown his room, and given a
quick tour of the facility.
Then it was time for more paperwork. The examiner was the same
doctor that had been his
escort. Her name was Tatiana Falco... everyone called her Dr. F or
Miss F.
"I need you to sign this.. It is a conformation that you agree
with the diagnosis of FIS", she said.
Aaron looked over the papers, but they were in Swedish. He was
afraid this would happen.
With a lump in his throat he signed the papers. "Now, these are the
papers outlining our course
of treatment... a copy in English is provided at the back". He began
to read it, but it was long and
legal. He quickly looked over it.. Seeing that Dr. Falco was growing
impatient, he signed and
handed it to her. "It is our belief here that all our councilors
should go through the entire process
in order to fully understand how best to help our patients deal with
their treatment.... don't you
agree?", she asked. Aaron looked at her and nodded. "Good", she
replied. "Sign here and we
will be finished for the day". Aaron looked at the paper. It was a
commitment form. He was
agreeing to a commitment of 6months of treatment for FIS... according
to the treatment outline of
the hospital. "Is 6 months really necessary?", he asked. She was
stern when she looked back at
him. "We have found that to be the minimum for full treatment".
Aaron couldn't believe he was
actually doing this... but he signed and handed the papers back.
"Wonderful Erin... welcome
aboard". This didn't make him feel much better. He took the English
copy with him to his room
and read it over that night.
As he read he felt sick.... "FIS: Feminine Identity Syndrome".... "Oh
my god... they think I want
to be a girl....", he cried out loud. I have to do something about
this. He was shaking... all the
offices were closed for the day now. Very nervous he picked up the
phone.... no dial tone and got
only as far as the front desk receptionist who only spoke Swedish.
He began reading again to try
to find a way out.
According to the papers he signed the treatment for FIS was
feminization. After a person entered
the hospitals treatment program, full co-operation was demanded of
them. If full co-operation
was given the patient could be out in 6 months. If it was not given..
.. "No, they wouldn't", he said
aloud. He had to put the paper aside for a moment to gather his
thoughts. Then he read further,
"It is our desire to force the subject to face his/her feminine self.
If the subject is co-operative we
assume the patient is dealing with this on his/her own.
If the subject is un co-operative a series of 4 operations are set up
to act as both a confidence
builder, and as a permanent reminder of the feminine self".
They can't be serious he thought. As he looked over the document he
realized that normally a
patient would not be given this information. He had access to it
only because he was a councilor.
He read on. "To show an intent to co-operate with the staff the
patient is told they should elect
the following operation:
level 1)Facial tuning: Cosmetic treatment of nose, cheeks and lips
The patient has one month to decide to go through with the operation.
If they do, no further
operations are deemed necessary and a 5 month regime of training in
feminine mannerisms begins.
If they do not make the desicion on their own within that time, the
operation is simply performed
without their consent and the next level operation is suggested to
show a co-operative response.
Level 2)Throat: Vocal tuning, and cosmetic reduction of the Adams
apple.
If this procedure is also refused, or goes un requested for the same
one month period, the process
of corrective operations continues through the next 2
levels.
Level 3)Breast: Enhancement of the breast through implant and hormone
therapy..
And finally
Level 4)Gender Reassignment: Emasculation, Cosmetic creation of
vagina through penile
inversion, and full hormone treatment.
After level 4 the subject is kept under observation for one month to
ensure proper adjustment"
"Surely there must be a way out of this", he said aloud.
He was awakened the next day for his first counseling session. As
soon as he walked in he had a
feeling he was in trouble. The Woman and Man behind the desk took
control of the situation
imeadiatly. "When did you first cross dress Erin?", the man asked in
a thick accent.
Aaron tried to change the subject. "Just one thing before we begi...
:", he started to say before he
was cut off. "Listen young lady", the Woman said, "we have a strict
protocol here that our
patients must follow". The man just sat back and glared at Aaron.
"If you have a question you
must wait for an appropriate moment in the conversation and let me
know". Aaron stared blankly
back not knowing what to say. "You then say Dr. F, I have a
question", she continued, "do you
understand"? Aaron nodded his head. "When did you first cross
dress" the man repeated. Aaron
thought about the time he had learned square dancing at his Jr. High.
There were not enough
girls for partners so the teacher thought it would be cute to bring
some dresses to put over the
boys clothes.... as he was thinking about that a lump grew in his
throat, "I can't tell them about
that can I?" he thought to himself. He realized this was going to be
a long morning.
When the questioning had ended he finally felt it was time that he
could speak. "Dr. F, I have a
question", he said. Dr. Falco smiled at him, "what is it dear"?
Aaron tried to clear his mind of all
the questions they had asked him so he could regain his train of
thought. He realized this was
going to be a tough argument. "When I first came here I didn't know
what FIS was..." Aaron
spoke quickly. Dr. Falco's smile widened. "I don't think I have it..
. I mean, I don't want to be a
girl". Dr. Falco pondered this for a moment. After a long pause she
looked at him. "You are
brilliant Erin, I hadn't thought of the role playing aspect of this,
but you have obviously given this
quite a bit of thought". "Oh no", Aaron thought. " She thinks I'm
pretending to be just another
patient". "Well then Erin, you leave me no choice but to assign you
to level 1", she said. "No,
you don't understand, I don't....", Aaron tried to get out. He was
cut off by the presence of a
large orderly that had been summoned into the room. They quickly
ushered him out. His heart
sank as he heard the door close behind him. He realized that almost
none of the staff spoke
English. That was in fact why they went to the US to recruit for the
position. Over the next few
days he wrote several letters to the US Embassy and to friends in
the US to try to get him out of
this, but he had no way of knowing if the letters were getting
through.
One evening after taking his evening tranquilizer he felt dizzy.
When he lifted the lid on his food
he found only a note that read, "sleep well". He next awoke on an
operating table. No sooner
did he open his eyes, a nurse in a surgical mask inserted something
into his mouth. "She has
pretty
eyes", Aaron thought to himself. He felt the device in his mouth
inflate and force his jaws apart
and his tung down though he could still breathe through a hole in the
center of the device.
A quick tug confirmed his fears, he was in fact strapped to the table.
Wrists, upper arms, waist,
thighs, and ankles. He was quite immobile. Aaron tried to speak,
but only odd muffled noises
escaped his mouth. Dr. Falco leaned over him. "Don't try to speak,
I can't understand you".
I allowed you to wake up so I could explain some of the procedure to
you", she continued.
"Since you are actually a willing participant in this after all", she
smiled. "We will begin by using
a paint on mask to chemically disable your facial hair follicles.
This will take about 20 minutes.
We will then use a little cosmetic surgery to narrow your nose and
raise your cheekbones".
Aaron could only sit back in horror. "I will then see what I can do
to change your lip line a bit. I
must tell you that I plan on going a bit farther with you because of
your special circumstance".
Aaron could not believe this. He saw the mask for the anaesthesia in
the nurse's hand. It was
designed to secure to the gag in his mouth. He thrashed as the nurse
brought it close to his face.
He felt another nurse pull his head back to a rest built into the
table. He gripped the side of the
padding with both hands as they inserted the two nasal tubes and
secured the mask.
The next few weeks were difficult. Every inch of his face hurt for
days after the operation.
After 3 weeks he was allowed to remove the bandages. He looked like
a battered wife. He
couldn't believe the change in his facial structure. Though not
fully healed he spent almost an
hour gazing into the mirror at some womans face...his face.
Aaron went back to his papers.... "Level 2: Vocal tuning and
reduction of the Adams apple".
He thought long about the decision but if this would keep things from
proceeding further he
would
do anything. In his next counseling session he told Dr. Falco that
he wanted to co-operate and
sign up for level 2. Dr. Falco looked at him and handed him some
papers to sign. After signing
them she said, "We'll perform the operation tomorrow. Don't eat
anything tonight.
Aaron didn't sleep much that night. In the morning a gurney came for
him. Ever since the first
operation he had been receiving injections every morning. This
morning he was given his
injection while in the operating room. This time he was placed on
the table with the back inclined.
His head was tilted back and a brace was inserted between his jaws
leaving his throat open.
He felt a prick in his arm as the IV was inserted. Dr. Falco spoke,
"Since your voice is not far out
of range now I will not remove much tissue, I don't want you to sound
like a bimbo, after all you
are a professional". A panic came over Aaron. "Remove tissue?", he
tried to say, but nothing
identifiable came out. He saw the surgical instruments out of the
corner of his eye as all went
black.
When he awoke his throat hurt quite a bit, but it wasn't as bad as he
had thought. He was
surprised to see Dr. Falco. She reached over and stroked his head.
"Don't talk dear, your voice
will be more gentile if you don't try to talk too early". Tears
began to well up in Aarons eyes.
"At least it's over", he thought.
His recovery was going well. He had been at the institute for over 3
months now and his face had
healed up very well. It took him a while to get used to his new
voice, but he felt he could live
with it since it was in a lower register... for a woman.
One evening as he was getting ready for his shower, he noticed a
slight swelling at his chest. As
he rubbed them he noticed them beginning to come erect! "No!!...
Damn, how long have they
been doing this?" he shouted. He went back to the papers. He was
not supposed to get hormone
injections... "That isn't supposed to be until Level 4", he yelled.
He went to the door and
pounded with his fists. "Let me out this instant...I'm not supposed
to get the injections....it's not
supposed to go any further...". Aaron was on the verge of hysterics.
Suddenly the small dinner
door opened, and a meal tin was thrust in. He lifted the top of the
tray and began to sob. On the
plate was only a simple note and a pill. "Sleep well Erin"
Aaron tried to decide if he should take the pill or not. He
thought he might try to escape in the
morning. Maybe if he tried he would at least show them that he
really didn't want them to go
through with their plans.
That morning he was awakened with a start as one male orderly and 2
large females set upon
him. One of the females pointed to the pill on the tray and shook
her finger at Aaron. He
struggled, but it was no use. A combination of the hormones he had
been given and the IV
feeding he had for 2 weeks following his throat surgery had left him
weak and unable to fight
them off. "Please don't do this..." he cried. As he pleaded a
second time he felt the nurse behind
him reach around and place the gag in his mouth and inflate it with a
couple of pumps from a ball,
then the ball was removed from the valve. With that he was quickly
ushered down the hall in the
silence of the early morning.
His struggles were renewed when he saw the table in the OR. He
was lifted onto the table and
his legs secured at the knee and ankle in a heavy stirrup structure
at the foot of the table. With
the back at a slight incline and his head against it's rest he could
see his crotch. He tried to look
away, but felt the gag being secured to the headrest. He tried to
reach out but his arms were
quickly grabbed and brought behind the back of the table. The table
had 2 cut outs at the
shoulders so the wrists and elbows could easily be secured to the
padded underside of the table.
Finally the last bit of movement was taken from him when a broad belt
and straps were secured
around his waist and high on his thighs. He tried to roar his
protests through the hole in the
inflatable mouthpiece, but any words were un-recognizable.
The wait was horrific. He was on the table for more than 40
minutes while he watched
electrolysis performed on the few hairs at the base of his penis.
Again he tried to protest. His
eyes shot towards a tray that was pushed next to him. On it were
breast implants, they looked to
be at least a B cup size.
After what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Falco came in. Aaron took
in a deep breath to scream.
He thought if he could get her attention she might notice he was not
ready for this. As he took in
his breath the mask came down and stifled his scream. As he felt the
mask being secured he tried
to rock from side to side, but the table was quite immobile.
Finally resigned to his fate he felt hands rubbing a cool slick
liquid on his penis. Just then Dr.
Falco came to his side. His eyes shot to hers, pleading with her.
She saw he was terrified. "Just
try to relax..", she said in a soft voice. "I see this isn't what
you expected. We don't usually keep
the patients awake for this, but since you are going to be a doctor
here I thought you would like
some insight to what goes on. I see now that may have been a mistake.
As I told you earlier,
we feel that our councilors need to go through the full treatment to
better understand it".
Aaron couldn't believe it... she was actually going to go through
with it. He was quite aroused
now by the rubbing on his groin. He was very near climax.
"The last thing we need from you dear is a sample of your sperm...
then we'll begin", Dr. Falco
continued. Aaron tried to hold back, but by this time he was too gar
gone. He began to cum in
waves. As he did he heard the hiss of the gas as it began to flow in
the mask. A cloth barrier was
placed over his abdomen to block his view of the procedure. "The
first step is to remove the
testicles and shape the scrotum to form a labia...."
He felt an injection in his groin area, and thought he could just
feel the blade of the scalpel......
The Beginning