Photo by @drhadfield, grabbed from the Root Sports broadcast.

Games like this are the reason I love professional basketball. Could I interest you in a German-speaking giraffe that can play basketball? How about a slightly unhinged ginger who gives wet willies to his opponents? Perhaps a masochistic head coach who plays his starters nearly the entirety of seven periods of basketball over three hours and sixteen minutes? How about a stat line from Al Jefferson that includes 28 points, 26 rebounds, and ZERO free throw attempts?

If you’re into it, I can also throw in a midseason pickup who plays 45 minutes and scores 15 points despite getting a root canal earlier in the day. Here’s what DeMarre Carroll was doing just a few hours before the game: