I was very much in love with my ex-partner. I felt safe, happy and felt a great deal of sexual desire for him. Two years ago, he dumped me very suddenly, cutting off all contact. I have felt heartbroken, depressed and frustrated ever since. It is like a part of me is missing.I have been in another relationship since, but I don't desire my new partner enough sexually. He is unhappy about this. We are moving in together soon, but I still believe I will only desire and love this other man. I try to put him to the back of my mind, always hoping I am going to develop feelings and feel sexual desire for someone else, but it seems as if my body and heart are muffled in some way.

You are wise to try to move on. However, you may need some help from a therapist. Sometimes, deep sadness turns into depression, and this may have happened in your case. Explain this to your new partner and ask him for a little more patience while you work on it.

The neurotransmitters in your brain just don't seem to be doing the job they should be doing but, with treatment, you could feel like your old self again. Depression often leads to lowered sexual desire - which is only compounding your problem. But although I am recommending that you seek treatment for depression, there's a catch: you may be advised to take antidepressants, and some of these have sexual side-effects. So if you decide to try medication, be sure to ask for products that are not going to make your sex life worse.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.