Jax Gets Honest About Miami On 'Vanderpump Rules,' And He Was Shockingly Lying About The Situation

I've got your new favorite alibi courtesy of Jax Taylor from the Vanderpump Rules reunion part deux. Yes, this alibi is so good, it's worth using "deux." On the Vanderpump Rules reunion, Jax finally came clean about what really happened in Miami regarding if Tom Sandoval cheated on Ariana. So what's the word? Put this in your diaries, court documents, letters home to mom and dad, and write it in the sky because, Jax does not know if Tom had sex with Miami Girl because... He was at CVS buying beer when he said he heard them in the bathroom.

Let the record show that I feel like I expect certain things from Jax, and I thought I knew what he was going to say about the truth, but I did NOT see CVS being involved in this. Jax, you have officially stumped me. You probably have about a million questions right now regarding this alibi Jax offered up to Andy Cohen during the reunion. Let me address the following as best I can.

Why did Jax say he heard Tom and Miami Girl?

Why did he say he lied about hearing them?

Who encouraged him to lie?

What type of beer was Jax buying at CVS?

What was Kristen's reaction?

Well, Jax told everyone that he heard the sounds of sex happening in the bathroom because Miami Girl had told him to. At the time, tensions were high between the men of the group, so Jax saying that he heard Tom and Miami Girl was his way of getting back at Tom? I will never understand Jax's motives, but here we are. Jax then backtracked — of course — and said he lied about hearing Tom and MG, and that's probably because deep down there, Jax has a conscience that is screaming "TELL THE TRUTH."

As for the what type of beer Jax was buying, I'd like to think he's a Bud Light Platinum, because he likes the color of the bottle, but that's just a stab in the dark. As for Kristen's reaction, Kristen tried to convince people that she might not be at fault for everything that went down this season, and every single person in the room (I swear I even heard a camera man) was like "UH, NO." While I do think Jax is to blame for some things, Kristen is not off scot-free, sorry girl.

So there it is. The official answer to Miami-gate. We will never know exactly what happened because Jax was at CVS buying beer.