Its that Aussie again please doc very concerned

Jun 6, 2004

Hi Dr Bob,

I am so sorry to write again but very concerned and need your expert second opion. I have read all your answers and it is very extensive, but even with that still need so sort of option and closure if at all posiable.

As mentioned in my prior questions i am a married male who has only one time strayed from my marriage and have unprotected oral sex with another male. He preformed oral on me and i did so on him. When i was preforming orla on him it lasted only about 30 seconds at most with no ejectualtion in my mouth, but there may have been a little pre cum (not sure). I had no oral problems at the time.

Its now 7 weeks since this happened and as mentioned i have been tested for gonorrhoea, Chlamydia, nsu and they all cam back negitive (which is good) The clinic i wemt to and the advice i have received form HIV clinics here is that my risk is very very small and i should not worry able this and in fact one clinic actually said my risk in this one time situation was Nil/Zero. All persons so far have said that i need not be tested, but if i do its is for peace of mind only and for no other reason what do you think.

The other itme i am concerned about was Herpes and Sphilis from this one time oral expsosure. Once again all persons so far have indicated that the actaul risk here is very low and unless i experience symptons i dont need to be tested and so not worry as it is unlikely that i have acquired these std's from this one time suck.

I dont have any symptons (and i have been checking believe me) on a regular basis.

The shameful thing about all of this as i am 44 an in my entire live except for may wife i have only have 2 other partners both female and now this one time male oral experience.

Would you agrree at this time i dont need to be tested for HIV, Herpes and Sphilis.

I wnat to make love to my wife but am to scared, am i in a panic over nothing.

Doc i would realy appreciate your speedy reply. I have written a few other times witout responce and i do understand that you are very busy and also have many replies to send, but if you can see your way, PLEASE MATE.

I know i was very stupid but, we are only human and i dont know why i did it.

Well Doc take care and i do hope you are well.

Peter in Australia

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Aussie Pete,

Oral sex carries a very low risk for HIV transmission, as I'm sure you have read many times in the archives of this forum. Consequently, I would agree with the advice given to you from the HIV clinics that your risk from this one episode is very small. Only you can decide whether or not to get tested for HIV. I also agree with the advice you were given about other STDs. I do not believe we can, in good faith, say your risk is "Nil/Zero." A theoretical risk does exist, particularly if there were certain extenuating circumstances.

My advice is:

1. Get tested for HIV at three months, primarily for "peace of mind." The odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that you did not contract HIV from the exposure you describe.

2. See your general medical doctor for an evaluation and STD screening if indicated again primarily for peace of mind.

3. If possible, be honest with your wife about what has happened and your fears. It's the best way to confront your guilt and panic over this situation. We all make mistakes; it's human nature. Admitting our mistakes, accepting the consequences, and learning from them are the best way to confront the anxiety generated by our actions and bringing the "closure" you are searching for.

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