Question

Should we keep my pregnancy a secret until after the wedding?

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I'm seven weeks pregnant and am getting married in a month. My fiance and I are considering not telling my highly religious family until after the wedding, to keep the stress to a minimum. I'm very concerned about how my relatives will react. But we've always been a close family, and I don't want that to change. What should I do?

Mom Answers

Don't get all stressed out about this. It's not good for you or your baby. Tell them the truth. They may be dissapointed for a while, but they will see that you are getting married because you love your future husband and not just because you have to for the baby. When your baby is born, they will forget the whole thing and be blessed with a new member of your family. I almost got married for the sake of my son 12 years ago and my family wanted me to marry a man I didn't love. So I was in your situation just the other way around. Congrats on your upcoming wedding and bless your new little family to be.

i'd wait til after the wedding and then acknowledge you were pregnant all along. as a previous poster mentioned, people will figure out the real 'age' of the baby anyway, but i don't see any reason for heartache to take the place of the joy of the wedding when its not necessary. there is not much people can complain about re: premarital sex, when you're already married...the point will be moot by then, and any complaints made will be redundant. it sounds to me like you were already planning to be married with or without a pregnancy. good luck and have a beautiful wedding!

I think what others have said rings true. Sometimes the symptoms can be very hard to hide and eventually they are going to figure out the math.
You could always wait until your out of your first trimester and then tell them. This is usually adviseable anyhow, just in case something should happen. Then when you do tell them, just be sure that you explain you waited to tell because you wanted to make sure that everything was okay with the pregnancy before getting their hopes up.
All in all, I'm sure that at least one person will see reason in this situation and be on your side. You might even do some calculating on ma and pa or your grandparents - you might be surprised. LOL.

Yeah, this can be a sticky situation. Physically, it may not be possible to hide the pregnancy for another month, especially if you are plagued by first-trimester discomforts or if you begin to show early (I had daily morning sickness and was in a maternity uniform at work at 9 weeks despite actually losing weight). So nature may take this decision out of your hands for you.
However, if you can physically hide it, then you have to decide what you plan on telling them after the wedding. Will you "fudge" your due date to make it seem that you conceived on your wedding night? Or will you go ahead and tell them your real due date?
It's been my experience that the emotions of a wedding, especially in a close family, added to the excitement of learning of a baby on the way will often lessen any disappointment or disapproval of when the baby was conceived. After all, it's a done deal, so what's the point in getting upset about it?
Especially if you and your husband-to-be announce the news with great excitement, not with any sense of guilt or regret. You'll set the example for the rest of your family and hopefully they'll join in your excitement.
I want to say congratulations to you both, I know it might be more convenient to have conceived next month, but this baby was conceived now for a reason, you just don't know what that reason is yet.
Good luck, and take care of your little miracle!

that is a tough call, especially when you consider then later on you would have to lie to them as well when you have the baby almost 2 months early with no signs of prematurity... so there is a good chance even if you got away with not telling them now to keep the peace that it would be evident later on... and then they will feel left out too... i would suggest telling them ahead of time and preparing yourself for the worst... best advice i have... sorry... it will change things in your family either way really... if you do tell them they might be upset at your premarital sex, but if you dont tell them and lie about when the baby is due later, they will feel like you betrayed them... so tough call either way

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