Bochy (arms folded, looking over the rims of his glasses): “Bum, what did we learn from this?”

Bum (looking down, arms behind his back, speaking sheepishly): “Don’t ride dirt bikes when your physical health and left arm is worth a skyscraper and a shot at a world championship.”

Bochy: “Exactly, now let’s get out there and chip away at that 27.5 game deficit and win us another World Series” (All laugh, Bochy immediately shoots a dirty look at Mark Melancon, who stops laughing and looks away.)

It’s true, the San Francisco Giants have their ace again. Bumgarner went down after crasing a dirt bike and injuring his throwing shoulder after making just four starts earlier this season, registering an 0-3 record with a 3.00 ERA. He also became the first pitcher in Major League history to homer twice on Opening Day, just another reason Country Bum is such a beloved figure to San Francisco sports fans.

While this comes as welcome news to fantasy owners, Giants fans have little to cheer about. They currently hold the bottom spot in the NL West, a shocking 27.5 games back from the division-leading Dodgers.

Bumgarner makes his first start tomorrow against the fourth place Padres, who have a five-game lead in the least hopeful race in sports right now. That’s easy to say, because the sports world is pretty dead right now. Luckily, the sport I cover spans three of the four seasons and features guys who crash dirt bikes and make millions of dollars.