Finally, New Orleans, all our Bourbon Street needs have been met: Adidas has released a pair of puke- and beer-proof shoes. And they come in black and gold.

The only kicker here (no pun intended) is that the shoes have been designed in celebration of Munich's annual Oktoberfest, so they're embroidered with the German equivalent of "cheers." Luckily, I don't think anyone will notice after they've downed a Hand Grenade. It might actually start making a lot more sense at that point.

These could have come in handy back in my senior year of high school when, during one admittedly tame evening out, I made the mistake of wearing flip-flops down Bourbon. As you can imagine, the cheap plastic broke on me as I was walking somewhere past The Cat's Meow, leaving me shoeless while still blocks from my car -- and likely in a position to contract several undiscovered diseases.

But these new sneakers have "a special DPBR coating," according to CoolMaterial.com. And yes, that does stand for "durable puke and beer repellent." Charming, isn't it?