Elizabeth Smart went missing for nine months, nearly four times the length of Kim’s marriage. That means Elizabeth Smart survived in captivity with sexual abusers longer than Kim stayed married to Kris.

Terrible movies that are totally awesome are the kind you either won’t admit to liking, or proclaim you like because you’re trying to be ironic. Terrible movies that are totally awesome are movies with cheesy-ass special effects, sensational plots and an extreme disregard for reality. Terrible movies are terrible, but they’re also awesome.

I hated The Hurt Locker more than any movie, including Crash, because the Man Who Has Slept With Your Girlfriend is the natural enemy of the Insecure Man and any of his accomplishments are thorns in the Insecure Man’s side.