Southend manager, Phil Brown, celebrates with his players following victory over Wycombe in the League Two play-off final. Photograph: BPI/REX Shutterstock

It was an act of solidarity that will live long in the memory. The sight of the Wycombe manager, Gareth Ainsworth, and his Southend counterpart, Phil Brown, holding hands and exchanging what the latter referred to as “man hugs” as their two sides slugged it out in the penalty shootout showed that, despite some reports to the contrary, football does still a heart.

“I made a big point of standing next to Phil and saying, ‘I’m not going to celebrate every penalty that goes in. I’m not going to put that in your face’. He agreed he wouldn’t do that to me either,” explained Ainsworth. “We had a moment of respect on the halfway line because for 120 minutes of the game, we were in charge and involved in every kick but penalties are always a lottery. Phil gets some stick from various places but I respect him and he’s always been good to me.”

The feeling was clearly mutual. Brown’s career in management is finally on the up again after a few years in the wilderness following his success in guiding Hull to the Premier League via the play-offs in 2008. Having endured a difficult year at Preston, the 55-year-old was out of work for almost 15 months until he replaced Paul Sturrock at Roots Hall in March 2013 and combined work as a radio summariser with appearances on the BBC quiz show Fighting Talk.

But even in his moment of triumph at Wembley after seeing his excellent young goalkeeper Dan Bentley push Sam Wood’s penalty – the 16th of a topsy-turvy shootout – onto the post to seal Southend’s victory, Brown’s first thought was for his opposite number. “You do lose that bit of dignity at times – it’s almost a hatred for the opposition. So we agreed immediately to do that and that shows the class of the guy,” he said. “People say managers and good guys don’t go hand in hand. You’ve got to be ruthless, you’ve got to be horrible and make tough decisions. But you can do that and be a decent guy at the same time as long as you are honest and truthful to yourself and your players.”

Retaining key players such as Bentley, the midfielder Michael Timlin and the striker Barry Corr would mean there is no reason why Southend could not thrive at the higher level next season. Their manager’s deal was due to expire at the end of next month but Brown insisted he never had any doubts his future remained in Essex, regardless of Saturday’s result.

“I don’t think so. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be in the second division all my life,” he said. “I’ve got ambitions and those ambitions remain. I want to be back in the Premier League if I get a second stab at it. I’m a lucky man. I’ve managed four different clubs and there’s a lot of young talent out there who only get one chance. But this is up there with my best achievements.”

For the impressive Ainsworth, there were only positives to be drawn from a heartbreaking defeat. The momentum from Wycombe’s great escape from relegation on the final day of last season took them all the way to the play-off final and with their manager signed up for another four years, the future does look bright.

“We’ve got players on less money a week than what some of the tickets cost for the match so I’m very proud of their efforts,” said Ainsworth. “We wanted to bring the buzz back to the club and that’s what we have done. We have a five-year plan to make this club sustainable in League One and we’re way ahead of that already.”