What Would People Think?

Friday, March 31, 2006

Only On Daily Kos

Only on Daily Kos can a guy write a blog post supporting impeaching President Bush, accuse Republicans of blind obedience, and then suggest that maybe we shouldn't actually call Republicans traitors........and get ripped to shreds by commenters who accuse him of recycling Republican talking points.

If there's one thing that annoys me more than a close-minded, self-righteous conservative, it's a close-minded, self-righteous liberal. It frustrates me to no end that these people are on my "side" (inasmuch as there are sides).

They remind me of a satire article I wrote a long while back. Parts of it are kind of clunky and unfair. But parts of it still make me laugh out loud. "tasty-yet-immoral".....haha....wow.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Self Interest Gets The Better of Ego

I'm not exactly the most tech-savvy guy in the world. So I don't know if this will work. But nevertheless, I have decided to remove my last name from my blog.

(Except that it still appears at the end of all my old blog posts.)

(And it still appears in the "About Me" section on the right. Anybody know how I can get rid of that?)

The reason? Well, Meredith recently lost a job interview because they read what she said about their job descriptions. That's enough to freak me out and make me seek anonymity. I don't want the wrong people Googling my name and finding this. I was flattered before. Now I'm freaked out. Anybody that I want to know about this blog and read it already does.

So I'm removing the last name.

It's probably too little too late, isn't it?

[Update:] Never mind about the name on the right. Guess it just took a moment.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

"The Perfect Scam"

So these are the lyrics to the new song I just wrote a couple days ago. It's nice to finally beat the creative draught that's had its hold on me since Fall 2004. (That's the last time I finished a song.)

I will eventually post the meaning of this song. I don't believe in making people guess about what my songs are about or "find their own meaning." I've always found that annoying. But since my attempts at explanation have thus far turned out to be quite confessional and incoherent, they will wait for the moment.

This, by the way, is a "do-do" song. In the same way that other songs are "nah-nah" songs. I've got a definite tune and some musical instructions in my head, but I'll just post the lyrics here because the instructions are too distracting. If you want more info, shoot me an e-mail.

Brief Basketball Comment

An anonymous commenter - I can only assume the one who wanted to mix it up with me over at Mike's blog - assumes that I begrudge George Mason their victories. On the contrary. Like any other apple-pie lovin' American, I love an underdog story. However unlikely it may be, I'm rooting for George Mason to go all the way. I mean, come on....how unlikely was it that GMU would get this far? I've been hearing comparisons to the 1980 US Hockey team.....on NPR, not ESPN. Even non-sports types like me are loving this story.

I thought it was pretty clear from my anti-UNC jokes (done, I thought, in the spirit of good-natured ribbing) that I was playing the role of the overzealous Duke fan. "He's no Coach K, that's for sure"? Come on! I know there's a cult of K at Duke, but that's ridiculous. As an amateur Founding Fathers buff, of course I know who George Mason was. He was the leading advocate to add a specific Bill of Rights to the Constitution.

Some people really need to calm down. It's just sports. Now movies - THOSE are worth fighting to the death over!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Interrupting With The Best of Them

So Kenny once pointed out to me that I have a tendency to interrupt people. Since that time, I've noticed it a lot more. I don't like to be rude, but I keep doing it.

So it turns out at the Eisley show when none of the band came out after the show and I sorta squeezed my way into a conversation to talk to Boyd, the band's father-tour manager....I was interrupting his conversation with Amy Grant's tour manager. Oops. There they were transacting business and I was all trying to talk to a father-of-stars. I must cut back on my rudeness.

Yeah, Mike the song's coming. I'll post it eventually. I'll also eventually comment on your song.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Brief Eisley Show Report

Ok, I just spent almost 2 hours writing a song. I may post it eventually.

The point is, I don't have much time now to write a lengthy Eisley show review. So...the highlights.

I missed the opening band - Brighten (whose website is down as of this posting) - because the show started 30 minutes early. I mean, come on! When have you ever been to a concert that started ON TIME, much less EARLY?! The 2nd opening band - Simon Dawes - was excellent on stage. They knew how to work a crowd. I wasn't impressed with the songs I heard on their web-page, but they've really got stage presence.

As for the main event.....

Few bands that I like can be described as "sweet." But Eisley fits the bill. Sherri Dupree, who could be called the "lead singer" in that she did most of the talking with the audience, was positively glowing about being recently engaged. [I can identify.] The positive vibes flowed into the performance and into the interactions with the audience. When they sang "I Wasn't Prepared" she let the audience sing the chorus and then complimented the audience's singing ability afterwards.

Stacy Dupree - on the keyboards - is getting better on stage. The first performance I saw of Eisley, she seemed kind of blank and nervous. Reminded me of Aimee Mann's sleep-inducing performances of wonderful music. Well, Stacy's much improved. She really got into the music this time. Much more relaxed and natural. And I've never had any complaints about her voice.

Chauntelle Dupree - rhythm guitar - continued to be Chauntelle-esque. Playing guitar and singing her heart out without actually singing into the microphone. I love that b/c it reminds me of me. Only I don't have a guitar either. I just pretend I have a guitar and pretend I can sing and don't care what people say about it. Chauntelle, on the other hand, should sing more. I know she's got a good voice b/c I've heard her sing.

Garron Dupree - the new kid on the bass, cousin of the rest of the band - did what bassists do. Kept his head down, didn't draw attention, and played. He did just fine, from what I could tell. How young is he though? He looks, like, 12. But he also looks like he's taller than me. Of course, that could be b/c he was on a stage....

Weston Dupree - on the drums - is getting better and better. I've only recently started paying close attention to drumming after Mike used drums on one of his songs for the first time. So I'm beginning to notice the growth of his work between old songs and new songs.

Speaking of new songs, I got some new Eisley songs for you to see/hear. First, check out "Head Against the Sky" on their myspace. Very different from their earlier stuff. Second, checkoutthese videos recorded by a fan at last night's show. The video isn't that great, but the audio is surprisingly clear. These are some of their new songs. The 2nd one was written after reading "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

(The Eisley fan community, by the way, is awesome. How do I know this? Aside from one fan sending me the links to those videos...I have a story for you. One mother of an Eisley fan took her daughter to a concert in Nashville. The daughter bought a t-shirt and got the band to sign it. And then she lost the shirt. Very upset, of course. The mother posted about it on the Eisley fan forum. And immediately other fans were making arrangements to buy a shirt at a later show, get it signed, and send it to that mother and daughter. How awesome is that?)

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Eisley-related Emotions

Happy: Eisley is coming to the Triangle tonight! At long last, I'll get to see them in a full show.

Sad: I can get nobody to come with me! Lauren's doing her own concert, so Chris is naturally joining her. Kenny and Erin are having a date night. (I can't begrudge an engaged couple a Saturday night date. I wish I had more such opportunities.) Jeff's out of town. Jamie is otherwise engaged. Sigh......Oh well, if Mike can enjoy a Metallica concert on his own, I can enjoy an Eisley concert.

Frustrated: Partly because I keep looking up information on Eisley on the Internet, I have accomplished nothing in my law school work. Without breaking confidentiality, I can say that I have clients depending on me. Not good. Get to it, Ben!

Concerned: According to the Eisley tour manager (their father....a family band.....isn't that cool?), they were making the mountain-filled drive from Nashville to the Triangle last night while worn out after a show. I've made that drive many times before. It's beautiful in daylight. Scary at night. Hope they make it ok. Or...well, made it. At this point they are either in the Triangle or....not.

Prayer. Renewed determination. Time to work. As soon as I look at these random pictures of a cute bird on top of my friend Chris's head. Oh......this concentrating thing is not working.

Ok, I just got a call from Ian. He's the guy who doesn't need food or air because he eats and breaths politics. But right now he's saving the day because he's inviting me to work on a project we're doing together over at his place. I never thought I'd say this, but Ian's saving the day.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Gloating.......

So I got into an overheated debate with Mike about abortion. It's a topic that lends itself to overheating. Actually I was probably the overheated one. I believe I used the phrase "Vietnam of the womb" at one point.

Luckily Meredith interrupted and told a joke. Jokes make everything better. It reminded me that the point of the Internet isn't to scream at each other. (Some people think to thecontrary.) Actually, the point of the Internet is to make stupid jokes.

Which brings me to the following joke I thought up on the spot on Mike's blog. The purpose of the joke is to make fun of the evil people at UNC.

Meredith, I dedicate this joke in your honor. Thanks for reminding me that my purpose in life is to point at people and laugh.----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How many UNC students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: HA, HA! UNC LOST TO GEORGE MASON! DUKE'S BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY, PUNKS!

Q: Why did the UNC student cross the road?

A: GEORGE MASON! YOU LOST TO GEORGE MASON, FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD! I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHO GEORGE MASON IS. BUT HE'S NO COACH K, THAT'S FOR SURE.

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: WHO CARES? UNC LOST! No, wait........the answer, of course, is newspapers. Specifically the newspapers all over the nation which announced that UNC LOST!

------------------------------------

P.S. The spellchecker for this blog - the same one that doesn't know the word "blog" - didn't recognize the word "lightbulb" above. It suggested I replace it with the word "lustfully."

Monday, March 20, 2006

Remembering.....

ThinkProgress provides a timeline of the Iraq War on this, the 3rd anniversary of the invasion.

Stop and think for a moment of all that has happened and its implications. 3 years of tragedy, terrorism, deception, ethnic violence, propaganda, incompetence, misused intelligence, ignorance, international humiliation, torture, frustration, and death.

Damn it......

Now that everything's so screwed up, are we doing any good in staying? Should we leave now? If not, what else do we hope to achieve and how are we going to do it? At what cost? If we leave now, what will the consequences be? Can civil war be averted? Is it already upon us?

I'm filled with anger at all that has gone before, but I don't know what to do about it now. Your thoughts?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

On Sex Comedies

It should come as no surprise to the readers of this blog that I am not a fan of movies that could be referred to as "sex comedies." You know....the Animal House-inspired comedies that think any reference to a sexual organ = hilarious comedy. I outgrew that phase when I was 15. Generally, I rank sex comedies up with "horror" movies that are really just gore-fests without any scariness...both are genres that I really despise.

And yet, last night, I found myself enjoying a sex comedy. What gives? Well, let us explore.

Exhibit A: 40 Days and 40 Nights. I'm sad to say this was the first movie I saw in theaters with Christy. My only excuse is that we were with a group of friends who meant to go bowling and the bowling alley was closed. 40 Days and 40 Nights stars Josh Hartnett as a sexaholic who tries to kick the habit by giving up sex for Lent. I laughed once during this movie (when Hartnett first comes up with the scheme, points at a statue of Jesus on the cross and says "Dude!"). The rest of the movie I spent grossed out and bored. The dialogue was lame. Nobody had any comic timing. The "romance" was robotic. Overall, this movie was the height of mediocrity, made worse by sex jokes that just made me feel icky.

Exhibit B: Scary Movie. I saw this movie for free. I overpaid. That's 88 minutes of my life that I will never have back. I also laughed once during this movie (when the first victim has a choice of weapons to grab to defend herself and she skips the guns and knives to grab a banana). I spent the rest of the movie wallowing in misery. A non-stop medley of penis jokes and sex jokes, combined with characters that I fully wanted to die....if only they would hurry up about it. This made 40 Days and 40 Nights look like Shakespeare. (Who, by the way, wasn't afraid of bawdy comedy himself.) In 40 days... I was grossed out and bored by the characters and story. In Scary Movie, I was even more grossed out and I hated the characters and story.

Exhibit C: The 40 Year Old Virgin. This is the movie I saw last night. I loved it. The pitch for this movie sounds horrible. Steve Carell (formerly of "The Daily Show") is a 40 year old guy who's never had sex. When his co-workers find out, they make it their mission to get the guy laid. This has all the makings of another crappy gross-out flick. Indeed, the movie has jokes about erections, scenes involving vomit, and characters who talk non-stop about sex. So what's different about it? Why did this movie make me laugh when 40 Days... made me bored and Scary Movie made me want to puke?

Well, first off, there's the characters. Carell's character, Andy, is actually a nice guy. He's likeable, but terrified of women. Unlike most sex comedy characters, he didn't repulse me. I found myself rooting for him (and, yes, I still believe sex should actually happen only within marriage). The supporting characters were the same. Characters like Andy's co-workers would normally be an excuse for lame sex jokes and gross-out humiliation. Indeed, they do load Andy down with a ton of bad advice. But they aren't jerks. They turn out to be generally likeable guys dealing with their own problems. (My favorite line, predictably, didn't involve sex. "Sorry I never really talked to you before, Andy. Before I knew you, I thought you were a serial killer." "Oh. Ha, ha." "No, seriously.") (Another great exchange for the heck of it. One of the girls Andy tries to have sex with: "You have really kind eyes, you know that?" Andy: (nervously) "Thanks. Um....your hat has sequins.")

Second, in addition to non-stop profanity and sex talk, this movie has genuinely sweet romance. Andy's relationship with Catherine Keener's character involves an actual meeting of minds, not genitalia. They are nice, get along well, encourage each other.....it feels like an actual relationship of nice people who grow to love each other. What's that doing in a movie titled The 40 Year Old Virgin?

Finally, the gross-out situations are....well, earned. It's hard to explain. Because I liked the characters, I felt some sympathy embarrassment. But it's more than that. This movie didn't think the presence of vomit or sex organs was itself humorous. The jokes came in the midst of situations that were funny in their own right. This wasn't lazy comedy.

So.....to have a sex comedy that is actually enjoyable you need (1) likeable characters, (2) actual relationships, and (3) comedy that doesn't rely on gross-outs to carry the humor. To date, I can only think of one other sex comedy that has done this as well as The 40 Year Old Virgin. That would be There's Something About Mary. Maybe others exist out there. Since I generally avoid this genre like the plague, I'm in no position to tell.

Friday, March 10, 2006

To the Alleged Alabama Church Arsonists

Ok, guys, you got a thing or two to learn about college humor. Trust me, I'm an expert.

I mean, I can sympathize. I've been involved in some not-very-well-thought-out college pranks in my time. But burning down churches? I've learned that there is, in fact, a line. You crossed it. You left it about 45 miles behind.

I think there's a possibility that people - including the corrections system of the state of Alabama - missed the joke. You've got to consider who your audience is. See, this is Alabama. If you burned down, say, Auburn University, I would've had no problem. Everybody would have gotten the joke. Roll Tide, I always say.

And if you're going to break laws for humor value, make sure it involves dildos, not actually damaging property and endangering people. Otherwise people just get, you know, unreasonable about these things. They get all angry about the wave of terror you created and the damage you caused and they totally miss the punch line!

I have to say that I'm disappointed that one of you is a student from my beloved UAB. I used to be a ball boy for their basketball team, man! All my older siblings went there. I have more hand-me-down UAB clothes than Vanderbilt and Duke clothes combined. So don't go messing with UAB's reputation!

Finally, I must conclude with the following constructive criticism: You morons.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

On Senator Pat Roberts

Senator Pat Roberts (R-KS) is the Bush Administration's wet dream.

Senator Pat Roberts is pushing legislation to block an investigation into Bush's illegal, unconstitutional spying program, while simultaneously reducing the already tiny check on unlimited executive power that we call FISA.

Senator Pat Roberts has helped the Bush Administration cover up on investigations into Iraq intelligence and torture.

If Senator Pat Roberts designed traffic signs, they would look like this.

Senator Pat Roberts is a disgrace to the rule of law.

[Updated - 3/9/06 6:57 AM] The money quote from the NY Times editorial: "Faced with a president who is almost certainly breaking the law, the Senate sets up a panel to watch him do it and calls that control."

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Adam Sandler Movie Quotes Assume Their Rightful Place In The Federal Courts

Protecting Our Troops . . . From Left-Wing Political Opinions

To add to Jeff's comments on the military blocking access to certain websites...and to make Mike even more angry about it..... I got this listing of websites which are and are not blocked by the military.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Random, Shallow Oscar Commentary!

Yes, I watched the entire 3 and a half hours of Oscars. I didn't even have the excuse of an Oscar Party to make it a social occasion to draw me away from my massive workload. I'm that much of a movie nerd.

I decided to post all my random thoughts, including the kind of shallow commentary on fashion which I usually consider beneath me. So, veering into Full Shallow Mode, let's start with...

Fashion: I'm not what you would call a fashion expert. I've been known to wear Mickey Mouse t-shirts. So, I'm the least qualified person to discuss Oscar fashion. But I'm writing this blog, so what are you going to do about it, punk?

Good fashion - Selma Hayek (always GORGEOUS, but especially stunning this night), Hilary Swank, Ludacris (Dude, his all-black suit looked awesome!), Jennifer Garner (well, I might be saying this about her b/c she got an abundance of good vibes from me after nearly tripping on her way to the microphone and quipping "I do all my own stunts". I love self-deprecation.).

Bad fashion - Charlize Theron (what the heck WAS that on her shoulder? A couch pillow?).

Jon Stewart: Interesting that he's getting post-Oscar raves. I was initially unimpressed. After a hilarious intro involving all the past Oscar hosts turning down the chance to host and Stewart dreaming about Halle Berry and George Clooney, his opening monologue fell flat. There were far too many jokes that elicited only sympathy laughter from 1/10 of the audience. (On Munich and Schindler's List: "I know I speak for all Jews when I say I can't wait to see what happens to us next!" Mild laughter. "Trilogy!" Milder laughter.) I don't know. Perhaps that was just my impression. Some lines I remember falling flat sounded more successful when I heard them on the morning radio.

Stewart picked up the pace as the show went on. A lot of his off-the-cuff remarks were great. ("For those of you keeping track at home, that's Martin Scorsese - zero Oscars. Three-Six Mafia - One." "I can't wait for the Oscar montage on Oscar montages!" "If you're trying to escape a burning car, I don't recommend you move in slow motion." last one's a paraphrase). And the "political ads" for Best Actress nominees was drop-dead hilarious! My laughing corpse was then jolted back to laughing life by the "political ads" redux for Best Sound Effects editing nominees.

Dance: I henceforth declare a moratorium on all interpretive dance at Oscar ceremonies! Especially when they re-enacted scenes from Crash while Kathleen "Bird" York sang "In The Deep." You do NOT re-enact a scene of a cop molesting a woman in slow-motion interpretive dance! That was wrong! So wrong. So very wrong.

The dancing veered from pretentious/very, very wrong to ridiculous when the Three-Six Mafia and Taraji P. Henson sang "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp." What is this? Hustle & Flow interpreted through the lens of Guys and Dolls?

Songs: The Oscars are not the Grammy (sp?) Awards and you can usually tell through the song selection for best movie song (or whatever they call it). This year I was pleasantly surprised by 2 of the nominees.

First, the bad - "Into the Deep"....actually, I need to listen to this again. I just didn't pay much attention to the song because I was too annoyed at the very, very, very wrong interpretive dancing.

Second, Dolly Parton's "Traveling Through." Dolly's appearance remains bizarre. She evokes images of Barbie - complete with the freakishly impossible figure and the face that appears to be made out of plastic. But somehow she made it past this handicap. It certainly helped that she wasn't backed by interpretive dancers. But it was more than that. The moment she came on stage shouting something like "straight from Dollywood to Hollywood, y'all!", the infectious enthusiasm of her performance charmed me. She just strutted back and forth across that stage and sang her charming little ditty with gusto. I can't deny that the openly Christian nature of the song may have influenced my opinion...but even Christianity cannot make me like, say, the last decade's worth of work by Michael W. Smith.

Third, the Oscar winner and oddly joyful "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp" from Hustle & Flow (think of the movie as Rocky for pimps who are wanna-be rappers). The content of the song is straight cliche gangsta rap...not my favorite style. So why do I like this song? Perhaps the catchy chorus, sung by Taraji P. Henson from the movie. (Who cleans up nice from the somewhat homely character she plays in the movie.) Perhaps it's just the fact that a rap song won an Oscar. (Although that's not actually a first. It's just that Eminem never showed up to the ceremony for "Lose Yourself".) Whatever the case, I still find myself humming this song to myself and I also loved the enthusiasm with which the Three-Six Mafia accepted their Oscars.

George Clooney: Some people liked his acceptance speech for being political yet classy. To me, it just came off as self-congratulatory, elitist, and self-righteous. And I AGREE with Clooney's politics!

Montages: You want to know how to reduce the length of Oscar ceremonies? Not by rudely playing off the winners enjoying their spotlight. (Okay, some get too annoyingly long. But come on! They started playing music before the thank yous even began! They played off the best picture winner, fer cryin' out loud! Poor "Crash" producer Cathy Schulman got so nervous she thanked her husband AND her wife!)

You can shorten the Oscars by eliminating the doggone montages! They were so damn pointless. Yes, I really wanted to know about all the biographical pictures that have been made. Thanks so much for contributing to my life Mr. Montage Person. That had everything to do with the current awards and all! Stewart was right...I'm waiting for the montage on montages.

I would allow the "people who passed away this year" montage. It's a touching tribute. But that montage led me into another movie geek rant. When the showed that writer/producer Debra Hill had died, the movie they associated her with was Adventures in Babysitting. Adventures in freakin' Babysitting! Hey Mr. Montage Person....if you are going to recognize a relatively unknown writer-producer, how about pointing out her greatest contribution to pop culture: Halloween! Yeah,that's right, Halloween. She co-wrote it with John Carpenter and produced it. Halloween's only the movie that every teen horror flick for the past 27 years has been trying to copy! It's also one of perhaps half-a-dozen of those flicks that is actually good. (Though its impact is sadly reduced by being de-sensitized to all the scares and cliches that it invented.) Seriously, Montage Person, just for that mistake you should be forced to watch Adventures in Babysitting 2010 times. One for each time I would like to kick you for such a stupid mistake, plus another 10 times as punishment for making an Oscar montage.

Oscar speeches I found touching: The South African guy who won for Tsotsi. Philip Seymour Hoffman (finally recognized for the genius he is!) thanking his mom. Reese Witherspoon thanking her parents.

Altman-esque: Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep (2 members of the old guard of fantastic actors among the generally young presenters) did a great job of simulating what a Robert Altman movie is like. They meandered and talked over each other a lot. I'm not a massive fan of Altman, but I confess I haven't seen his full work. I've seen Nashville (which I think I would like if I saw it a 2nd time and was able to keep track of the 20-30 main characters and make out what they were saying), Cookie's Fortune (yawn), and Gosford Park (which I enjoyed but which also was by far his most conventional flick...so I'm told). Altman's known as the pioneer of large casts. So if I have Robert Altman to thank for the works for Paul Thomas Anderson, I guess I'll be thankful.

About Me

I like to refer to myself as a Liberal Jesus Freak. I'm a lawyer in Atlanta. I am also a Born Again Christian - meaning, among other things, that I want to use my law degree for more than making money. My wife, Christy, is objectivly the most wonderful woman in the world.