Since the post was shared as part of his story, it was only up for 24 hours before being automatically deleted, although Shields claims he actually deleted it sooner than that after having second thoughts about it.

Still, a Queerty tipster grabbed a screenshot before it disappeared forever:

After we broke the story, Shields quickly responded by retweeting our story and issuing an apology on Twitter:

Ok. I said this. It was wrong. I’m sorry. Grew up using this as term for social control. Not an excuse. It doesn’t matter what I meant, it associated a great community with being “less than”, all that mattered was any pain I possibly brought into people’s lives. For that I’m sorry

He also reached out to us directly. Here’s what he said:

I am not defending myself from criticism regarding my use of the term in a way that perpetuates stereotypes, causes intense pain for those growing up, who are struggling with their sexual identity, or any other damage it might cause. The criticism that I let the voice in the back of my head from “when I was in fourth grade” dominate my actions is right on point. I have never really stopped to think, or hear, about what that inner dialogue must be from a homosexual person’s perspective, only mine.

Shields went on to explain that he’s had a number of people contact him on social media to express their frustrations over his post. One, in particular, really stuck with him:

Yesterday, one of my followers on Instagram told me about a youth he works with. I don’t want to give away any specifics, as I don’t want to shift focus away from my actions, but this person told me about how what I said made that young person feel. They looked up to me, and they have been struggling with their identity for some time. So where in my head these terms are just merely a synonym for “not behaving like one of the pack” or “haha got you!”, for others it can cause deep-seated emotional distress.

One of the main criticism’s I’ve received is that I don’t “get it,” through my twitter-apology or my actions. I guess in a sense I agree. I am a very fortunate person. I may have faced some harassment in my life (young boys tend to not take too kindly to those that shave their whole bodies, for example), but it most likely pales in comparison to the amount of abuse and societal pressures put on LGBTQ people. So in that sense, I agree, I will never truly “get it.” I hope I have shown I have sympathy, and wish to continue to grow that sympathy.

He concluded by saying:

I am truly sorry for any pain I have caused. I do not want to bring any harm to anyone, so I will do my best to identify what language brings that harm, and avoid it in the future to more effectively convey myself.

Hey, we all make mistakes. It sounds like Shields has definitely learned from this one.

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58 Comments

GC1985

GC1985

By the way, his apology was tone deaf and making excuses by claiming he was bullied when he was younger. Absolutely tone deaf. This is like Mario Batali’s “apology” for sexually harassing women and then adding a cinnabun recipe to it.

Ridiculous. He isn’t even mature enough to make an honest apology.

December 19, 2017 at 3:12pm

Fakerobot12

Seriously. He aint even hot. why bother reporting?

December 19, 2017 at 3:12pm

KaiserVonScheiss

So you’re either a self-hating white or an anti-white racist. Good to know.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

GC1985

No. I said he was a mediocre white dude. He is mediocre looking. He is white. And he is a dude. Nothing racist there, Kaiser ScratchnSniff.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

KaiserVonScheiss

What does him being white have to do with anything? If it wasn’t important to you, why’d you bring it up? Why even mention it in the first place?

Everyone can see he’s white. It’s not like there’s a need to mention it… unless you think it’s somehow important.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

GC1985

Lmao. Nice try loser. I mentioned he is white once in that sentence. Mediocre white dudes seem to be common. Yourself included. Nobody wants mediocrity.

By the way, the guy looks like he does lines of coke. They should increase drug testing in sports.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

Hussain-TheCanadian

@Kiser

Excuse me, you have yet to respond to my question yesterday about how exactly did you interpret his original post; you seem to be of the mind that what he said wast meant to be offensive – it would be nice to share why you came to that conclusion.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

KaiserVonScheiss

Hussain

It’s just a word people use, and it wasn’t directed at a person. It’s just slang. Offence is taken, not given.

To be honest, I have no idea what ‘next gen’ means.

December 19, 2017 at 5:12pm

GC1985

In other words, Kaiser is a liar.

December 19, 2017 at 6:12pm

Hussain-TheCanadian

@ Kiser

I have no idea what that means either; he’s coming off as a simpleton, and I think re realizes that hes coming off as an idiot.

But you have to at least agree that the word, even though he may not have intended to insult us, is still being cavalierly used in a negative light, and its hard to interpret his words in anyway other than equating the word “gay” with something bad/negative.

December 19, 2017 at 6:12pm

KaiserVonScheiss

@Hussain

But it’s the context that matters. I don’t think there was any intention to put down actual gay people. Guys will sometimes call each other [email protected], but does that mean they’d call an actual gay person a [email protected] as a put down? Some might, but many wouldn’t.

December 19, 2017 at 7:12pm

Hussain-TheCanadian

@ Kaisar

I definitely agree with you that context, for sure matters, and I am inclined to give Tom a pass because I really dont think he meant anything malicious by it, but in the end, whether intended or not, he is pushing a negative connotation of this word, and you and I, am sure, have thick skin not to be bothered by the above, I dont know if the same could be said but many gay teens who maybe negatively effected by such talk.

I do disagree with you on the “guys calling each other [email protected]” as a benign expression; it is a word that is meant to remove/cast-doubt on the person’s masculinity; its a word that cannot be looked at outside the scoop of insults.

December 19, 2017 at 7:12pm

Donston

The problem is he wasn’t talking to a friend. He was talking to a bunch of random people on the internet, some of which were likely gay people. “Gay” and “fag” are used as insults regularly. I hear it everyday. I see it on the internet everyday. Sometimes between friends. Sometimes between strangers. And yes, a great percentage of time they are purposely being homophobic. And even when they’re not, the context just hints at how casual and indirect homophobia can be, and how hate language and looking at “gay” as an equation to “lame” or lesser than is ingrained in the culture.

GC1985, it would be great if you stop bringing up race. That has nothing to do with this topic, especially since many, many people of many races stay saying things like this.

December 19, 2017 at 8:12pm

GC1985

“GC1985, it would be great if you stop bringing up race. That has nothing to do with this topic, especially since many, many people of many races stay saying things like this.”

Shields is a mediocre white dude. How is that a bad thing to say when it’s true?

December 19, 2017 at 9:12pm

barkomatic

I grew up in a time where homophobic remarks by people in the media were not only common but expected in certain circumstances. A common scenario would be that some guy dressed as a woman would flirt with another male on-air personality — and the personality would go into a gay panic and utter 3 or 4 slurs to reassure viewers of his heterosexuality. I’m so glad those days appear to be behind us in the U.S. at least.

Sometimes though, it seems the reaction is often out of proportion to the transgression. Maybe I’m very desensitized but calling something “gay” is pretty minor–worthy of a quick apology and then everyone moves on.

My concern is that by going nuclear and reacting the same way whether someone calls something “gay” or sits on a pulpit and preaches about how all gay people should be murdered — we will discredit our efforts to be treated humanely and with respect.

Donston

He made it a bigger deal than what it was. This site I believe was the only place that picked it up, and I don’t think it made much noise on social media. What stood out to me was that someone of his age, who’s accomplished what he has, has been all over the world, obviously met a lot of different people and who has college experience would say something so juvenile and dated over social media just to try and win some “cool points”. He apologized, which he should have, and we all move on. It’s not the same as saying “all gays should die”, but it perhaps has a wider spread cultural and psychological impact than stuff like that.

December 19, 2017 at 3:12pm

Brian

I will be a fan forever of whoever has the balls to say “meh, no big deal” to the reaction to something like this, instead of going into apology overkill like this guy did.

Donston

He definitely went into overkill. But a brief apology was called for. It’s not about “fake outrage” or genuinely hurting people so much as it’s about eradicating casually using orientation as a slur or synonym for something bad/lame.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

Brian

The only way an apology was called for was from a PR standpoint. Otherwise, it didn’t rise above a “yeah, my bad, sorry” level to the first person who actually said anything to him about it. Our society overapologizes.

December 19, 2017 at 6:12pm

GC1985

Brian, a lame fake ubermacho dude who thinks women should be quiet about unwanted advances and can’t stand when people speak up. Thanks for showing your true self, troll. I know exactly who you are now.

December 19, 2017 at 6:12pm

Brian

Lying about what I actually said and calling me a troll shows you have no logical rebuttal. Sorry dude, you lose.

GC1985

Eldred

sfhairy

exactly!

December 19, 2017 at 3:12pm

GC1985

Do you say that to all the sexual harassment scandals too? Seems like you have that attitude.

December 19, 2017 at 3:12pm

Brian

A lot of these sexual harassment scandals are being blown way out of proportion too. To go by the media coverage, you would think there is zero difference between propositioning someone and raping someone.

December 19, 2017 at 3:12pm

GC1985

Brian, thanks for the tone deaf response. Many of the harassment scandals (the vast majority) have to do with outright assault or unwanted advances. I can’t believe I need to explain this. There is a difference between approaching someone and making an unwanted sexual advance.

December 19, 2017 at 3:12pm

Brian

Um, yeah, that was my point. Someone claiming X tried to kiss her, or touched her butt should not be a news story. Doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be dealt with, but this making every incident public, no matter how big or small, has gotten ridiculous. We get it, some guys in powerful positions are jerks. All this endless parade of stories is going to do is numb people to the point where them think every story they hear is just another person trying to get 5 minutes of attention and blowing off the serious ones.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

Donston

Almost all of the people who have been accused incidents of assault, harassment and coercion have been alleged, not mere propositioning. Or do you think it’s fine to force yourself on people, randomly touch unsuspecting people’s genitals, show your genitals to unsuspecting people, proposition minors, demand someone give you sexual favors in order to receive employment and constantly badger people who have said that have no interest in you?

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

GC1985

Brian, predictable coming from a privileged white male. Men can’t really comment on this. I don’t even say much, because women are doing all the talking. And women will take this country back from stupid men soon enough.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

Brian

Fully sure are bringing up race a lot in a story that has absolutely nothing to do with race. Stop being so tone deaf and stick to the subject at hand.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

GC1985

That’s your privilege talking again.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

Brian

No sweetie, it’s your racism talking.

December 19, 2017 at 6:12pm

GC1985

Are you related to the Brian that use to post here? A white guy pointing fingers at a minority for being racist… Lmao. Ironic. Considering white supremacist chestbeaters like you fit the very definition of racist.

Hussain-TheCanadian

Donston

And of course, the comment section has already been taken over by self-hating queers, SJWs and trolls. I guess when it comes to the internet (particularly this site) reason and sense is always at a premium.

In the case of the self-hating queers I do wonder what the reaction would be if a woman was at the center of this.

Brian

Not getting your panties in a wad over a complete stranger’s language doesn’t make someone self hating. It makes you normal.

December 19, 2017 at 4:12pm

Donston

Looking to constantly defend people for casual homophobia or being willing to dismiss casual homophobia, even if that’s not what’s intended, does indeed equate to self-hate. It doesn’t have to be a big deal on its on because it’s not. But you are very mistaken if you think constantly using “gay” and “queer” and “fag” as synonyms for “bad” or “lame” doesn’t have cultural impact and doesn’t impact a lot of people’s esteem. It’s not about being outraged. It’s about taking an opportunity to have a conversation.

Women don’t say things like this. I’ve only heard adolescent guys say something is gay. I don’t take offense to it, but I do notice it. They have gay on the brain. Everything is gay.

December 19, 2017 at 6:12pm

Brian

I think having an entire generation growing up thinking it’s acceptable to police the words and thoughts of the world is infinitely more damaging. Civil rights trump self esteem.

December 19, 2017 at 6:12pm

Hussain-TheCanadian

@ Brain

Respectfully, do you even know what human rights means?

I’m not seeing the connection between your thoughts, that people should be free to say wherever they want (a ridiculous concept), and universal human rights, especially if said people are teens who need wise direction in presenting their thoughts without retorting to insults, malice, vulgarity, and idiocy.

December 19, 2017 at 7:12pm

Donston

So, just like you think it’s perfectly fine to assault and harass people you also think no one should ever be called out for using hate language or insulting an entire group of people? We should be fine allowing a cycle of hatred and resentment and lack of self-worth to commence because of “civil rights”? And it’s not about civil rights, because he’s not being arrested, harassed, nor is he losing his job. He merely said something that was out of line and got called out. Just like he had the right to say what he said others had the right to respond. No one forced him to apologize. He did it on his own accord. This has never been a world where someone says whatever they wish with no consequences. That’s not what “civil rights” are.

The middle ground where people have nuanced conversation about divisive topics without extremes and bitterness and being dismissive is obviously gone, at least as far as the internet is concerned.

December 19, 2017 at 7:12pm

Donston

To me it’s as simple as “gay” being a synonym for “bad” or “lame” is in and of itself lame, and he should be too old, too worldly and have too much class and education to steep to that on his social media. No outrage necessary. Yes, disagreeing with that basic stance does hint towards one having issues.

December 19, 2017 at 7:12pm

Brian

First, I never said anything about human rights.

Second, you saying that it’s a ridiculous concept that people are free to say whatever they want proves my point exactly, so thank you.

December 19, 2017 at 7:12pm

GC1985

Brian, I think delusional is a more appropriate word to fit your mindset.

December 19, 2017 at 7:12pm

Donston

Brian, no where in my post did I say anything about people shouldn’t be allowed to say whatever. I’m merely saying that words indeed have consequences and am looking at the broader social picture. As usual with people like yourself, you’re unwilling to actually have a real conversation and merely dismisses, ignores or contorts everyone’s words.

December 19, 2017 at 8:12pm

Brian

I was responding to a comment above you, not you. And you’ve distorted my words in this very comment thread, so please spare me the righteousness about just wanting to have a conversation, you’re as guilty as anyone else in here.

December 19, 2017 at 9:12pm

Donston

The only thing that can be perceived as “contorting” is me claiming you are okay with sexual assault and harassment. But there’s no other way to interpret it when a ton of people say they’ve been assaulted and harassed and give details that reflect someone being assaulted and/or harassed but are all dismissed by you as mere cry babies who can’t deal with being propositioned.

You’ve refused to engage with any of my points and have just been repeating yourself throughout this whole thread. That’s a sign of someone who simply doesn’t care and isn’t interested in educating themselves, only in putting down others and reiterating their basic perspective.

December 19, 2017 at 10:12pm

Hussain-TheCanadian

@ brain

No where on this planet does any government allows complete freedom of it’s people to say whatever they want without limits; you’re twisting civil rights outside the confines of it’s meaning and historical basis.

Civil rights came into being to combat racism and prejudice, not to empower it.

December 19, 2017 at 11:12pm

brandon

Queerty buzzword: tone deaf. We’re adults here. We don’t need you to direct our thinking. Not that this guy is that interesting, but if the authors ARE going to report on him, can they not turn it into a full-blown opinion piece?

Danny595

We should ask ourselves why “gay” is often thought of as synonymous with weird, strange, and effeminate. It’s because sites like Queerty constantly push the idea that gays are weird, strange, and effeminate. We need more attention focused on normal gay people. Less about the weirdos. And no more about mentally damaged transgenders, most of whom are straight.