In a World Without You

Summary:
-Takes place in New Moon from after Edward calls Bella's house, only to have Jacob tell him (or he interprets it that way) that Bella is dead and on.- Edward's Point of View. "It's strange how it takes a lifetime (and even longer in my case) of endless effort, and painful sacrifice to construct even the slightest shred of happiness. Strange how, in a split second, four words can destroy everything you've ever worked for and held dear in this world. A half a second is all it takes. "He's at the funeral." In that second...my world collapsed." Feedback would be appreciated ^_^

2. Part II - Request for Oblivion

************ “When you lose something you can’t replace When love is found but then misplaced When all your efforts go to waste How long will you last?

When you lose something you can’t replace When love is found but then erased When all your efforts go to waste You pray to end it fast” ************ -When You By: Natilie Sawada

“So, to what do we owe this pleasant surprise?” The happy, enthusiastic voice asked me. I ground my teeth. The bright, cheery tone of Aro’s voice grated against the bleeding wounds in my chest like a serrated edge.

How could anything look bright in this world?

“I’m afraid the circumstances of my visit are not so pleasant.” Even to myself, my voice sounded dead, echoing slightly in the stone room. Aro’s face fell infinitesimally.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Edward. But please, may we postpone the intent of your visit for one moment? Tell me, how is my dear friend Carlisle?”

“He’s fine,” I told him, and then added, “last time I saw him.”

“You haven’t been home?” Aro asked, his face slightly confused.

“I’ve had…” I swallowed, “a lot to deal with.”

“And I’m supposing you thought our little family could assist you in some way?” I nodded. “Of course, we’re more than willing. Any family of Carlisle’s is a dead friend to us. Why don’t you tell us,” Aro suggested, waving his hand at the other two figures shrouded in grey cloaks behind him. Caius and Marcus stared blankly out from under the shadow of their hoods.

“It’s…” I hesitated, “a long story. Not one that can be told properly using words alone.”

Would the burning register as he read my thoughts? Would he see I was no longer drawn to this world—that I was empty?

Slowly I raised my hand and rested the tips on his fragile hand.

I went through everything once more.

The first day—the burning thirst, silent mind, quiet beauty, wide innocent chocolate eyes. Falling in love—the following, the obsession, how I just couldn’t leave her alone. The car ride, the lunches, the exposed secrets. The meadow, her visit, the game, James, Victoria, and Laurent, the panic, the separations, the hunt, Alice’s phone call, the heartbreaking letter, the fight, the blood, the hospital, the promise, the prom.

Her wish.

Romeo and Juliet, my words, the forest, the heart shattering screams of her nightmares that first night, the months of endless pain, and finally, Rosalie’s call, my call, my thoughts, my pain.

My plan.

Aro abruptly staggered back, obviously overwhelmed by the events of my life over the past year. Caius and Marcus gazed on, their expressions not even flickering at Aro’s wide eyes.

“Edward…” he breathed, “your life has changed quite a lot since last we met.” I nodded. My expression felt empty, desolate—dead.

Like Bella.

“But surely you don’t think we—I could ever do that to Carlisle. Take his son away from him? Certainly not.”

“I’m not Carlisle’s son,” I contradicted. How I wished I was…

How I wished I was deserving of the trust Carlisle gave me.

“As close as any of our kind will ever be.”

“But it’s my choice—my life.”

Her death.

I was still burning inside, the guilt tearing at me sickeningly.

“Yes,” Aro agreed, his face grave for once in his life. “But surely you cannot want to end it. She was one human, Edward.”

“I loved her, Aro. Surely you saw that. More than anything—more than life itself. I cannot bear to live in a world where she does not exist.”

“There is no life to throw away anymore—not without her!” My voice rose with the first emotion I’d felt since…

“Calm down, Edward,” he cautioned, and I realized I was shaking, my hands balled into fists. “Don’t do anything rash.”

“Don’t do anything reckless or stupid.”

I clenched my fists tighter, the torture of grief washing over me again. I’d broken my promise: to stay with her—to protect her. Of course I could not blame her for breaking her own. It was not her fault I’d broken her heart. It was entirely my fault she was in so much pain.

But she was in a better place now.

And I was trying to follow her the best I could.

“We’ll…consider it,” Aro finally said, his voice hesitant.

I can see his inner turmoil. Obviously he’s in no mental condition to even consider join us now, so I had better not bring it up. But in time, he will solve his problems. Suck a waste of talent it would be…such a pity to destroy him.

“Would you kindly wait in the lobby, Edward?” Aro requested politely, “You don’t mind do you? Just while we discuss things. It shouldn’t take long. We don’t want our guest to be uncomfortable.”

I doubted I would notice if someone tore my arm off. I couldn’t feel it above the torture—the burning.

“Of course not,” I answered tonelessly, and I was sure my expression was either as equally devoid of emotion or twisted with pain. I couldn’t tell.

“Thank you. We will not be long,” he repeated, drifting along behind me as he walked me into the door.

“Thank you,” I said flatly and strode into the bright lobby area, the human at the desk, the lights too bright and buzzing loudly, the tinkling elevator-type music playing indistinctly as background music.

I heard the inaudible click as Aro, having turned around and headed back into the room, shut the door behind him.

I sighed to myself, running my hand through my hair, and strode over to one of the chairs.

I settled myself in to wait for their decision on this; my personal judgment day— my thoughts always of Bella.

END OF PART 2

Didn’t have as much sentimental, suicidal, Emo thoughts in it, did it? -_- hmmm…oh well, I like the way it turned out, regardless. I think I’ll keep going. Edward won’t get out of my head! Grrr. Oh well. Don’t know how far I’ll take it, but since Stephenie Meyer has decided against writing more of Edward’s story and I still think it deserves to be told, I’ll do it myself ^_^