Lohan, Hilton, Spears, Ritchie to Star in New Bratz Movie

Hollywood, CA (O! Online) – Tired Stars International Motion Pictures today announced that it had signed four of the most popular teen queen idols to star in the upcoming Bratz Movie: Shotz Slutz. Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears have all reportedly committed to the film for an undisclosed sum to bring to life the adventures of one of today’s most popular doll collections.

A spokesperson for Bratz doll manufacturer MGA stated that the company was excited to have the group of stars aboard, and wasn’t worried about the possible controversy the real star’s exploits might bring to the toy line. “We’re looking to recapture a lot of the girls we have lost as they have aged out of doll play,” said MGA vice president Elsa B. Lyon. “The fact of the matter is that even the younger girls are a lot more sophisticated now, and these young women are just the role models to bring some new life and energy to the concept. This is to say nothing of the voice of experience that they can bring in regards to sex and drugs.”

MGA also announced a new line of dolls which will caricature the four, as well as a remote controlled crash and repair car, and a fully outfitted rehab center play set. The dolls will of course feature anatomically ambiguous genitalia and a full line of pantiless fashions, with the slogan, “A Passion for Flashin!”

A tentative date to begin filming “Shotz Slutz” has not been reached secondary to attempts to schedule around incarcerations, rehabilitations, and court dates.

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