10 Unexpected Ways Your Anger is Leaking Everywhere

Anger is often a misunderstood emotion. Is it healthy? Unhealthy? Are there signs and red flags before anger turns into rage? The truth is, anger is a completely normal and even a healthy human emotion – when it’s able to be expressed constructively. When a person feels anger, their body releases adrenaline, cortisol, and noradrenaline. Anger also affects a person’s heart rate, breathing rate, and body temperature, which explains why those who find it more difficult to healthily manage their anger struggle with high blood pressure, heart problems, and other health risks. Anger can affect people emotionally and mentally as well. The consequences to bouts of frequent and uncontrollable anger can cause depression, shame, low self-esteem, self-injury, the abuse of substances, and more. When we think of anger, someone red-faced, screaming, throwing objects, and verbally fighting might be the imagery that comes to mind. Anger isn’t always readily visible; there are subtle ways that anger can erupt and leak all over people’s lives.

Being passive-aggressive: When anger is suppressed or not communicated, it can show up in the form of passive-aggression. This could look like someone giving their partner the silent treatment as a way of sending a message that they are angry with them or making a backhanded compliment about their friend’s new job promotion.

Nitpicking: Commenting critically on everything other people say or do can be a subtle way anger is attempting to be expressed. Nitpicking can be done internally and externally. If one finds themselves unnecessarily commenting on seemingly minute complaints, they may be indirectly expressing anger.

Forgetting: We all forget our responsibilities from time to time, but when forgetting is done habitually, out of avoidance, or intentionally to disrespect or hurt someone, it is an act of anger coming out covertly.

Holding grudges: It’s normal so need some time to process or get over an argument or disagreement with someone, but when that processing turns into a grudge, it can be a sign of uncontrolled anger. When someone is holding a grudge, they are essentially holding onto anger as opposed to coming to terms with the issue and either forgiving or making amends. The longer that person holds onto their anger, the longer the argument will feel unresolved and the longer the uncomfortable emotions will fester internally.

Bringing up the past: When issues go unresolved, it’s likely a person will feel a lack of closure. Anger can make someone bring up past arguments or incidents that could have happened days, months, or years ago, because that anger was never successfully processed and dealt with.

Starting fights: A more obvious sign of anger is frequently starting fights. It’s normal for people to get in disagreements occasionally, but if someone finds themselves constantly seeking out those disagreements and starting conflict over even the smallest mistakes, they are likely harboring anger and taking those negative emotions out those around them.

Consequences in various domains of life: One way to know that anger is leaking everywhere is to acknowledge if it’s affecting important areas of one’s life, such as their career and relationships. If one experiences consequences for their angry behavior at their job or if people around them bring their anger to their attention, it may be an indication that one’s anger is a predominantly felt emotion.

Feelings of depression and anxiety: Anger can also be connected to depression and anxiety. If someone doesn’t know how to successfully manage their anger and notices it is out of their control, it can result in feelings of anxiety and depression.

Denial and/or avoidance: Since anger is a commonly misunderstood emotion, it’s not unlikely for people to feel guilt and shame for feeling anger, or to vehemently deny it is how they are feeling.

Fatigue: Being in a constant state of unresolved anger can be very exhausting. Festering anger can make one feel incredibly tired, as it takes up a lot of mental and emotional capacity.

If you have problems with feeling and managing your anger effectively, please feel free to contact Triune Therapy Group to learn more about our new 12-week Anger Management program that addresses the effective management anger and teaches participants how to recognize, moderate, and express anger it in a healthy and constructive manner. For more information or to register, call phone number(310) 933-4088 or email us at info@triunetherapy.com