Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Fish Wrap For June

The Malloy administration – and other culprits – have poured hundreds of millions of dollars into UConn. And UConn had shown its gratitude by hiking tuitions – again, according to a report inthe Stamford Advocate.

“Under the plan adopted by the trustees in December, tuition would jump to $10,368 for tuition and $25,303 with other costs by the 2015-16 academic year if the state allocation increased by at least a half percent each year.

“With no state increase, the cost will go to $10,536 for in-state students and $25,590 when room and board are added in by 2015.

“The tuition increases are being used to hire 275 new faculty, starting with 65 for this fall.”

Washington Looks Like North Korea

Connecticut sympathizes, having experienced a similar problem just before the onset of Winter.

The energetic Governor Dannel Malloy – just returned from a trip to the constellation Orion where, according to reliable reports and press releases, he had dusted off two of the stars in Orien’s belt – is on his way to D.C. to fix all that.

$6 Million Fire Caused By Bachelors Who Couldn’t Read

"On June 22, Shiflet was named in a three-count misdemeanor criminal complaint accusing him of causing the Sunflower Fire, which has destroyed 17,618 acres (and is now 80 percent contained). A Tonto National Forest spokesperson estimated that fire suppression efforts have so far cost $6 million.”

The report does not indicate whether Mr. Shiflet's fiancé is reconsidering the wedding.

Some dummkopf is almost certain to use the property damage as an excuse to call for the elimination of shotguns rather than the extirpation of stupidity, partly the cause of the $15 trillion dollar deficit produced by the geniuses in Washington D. C. which, Connecticut Commentary wishes to point out once again, has been blacked out due to a fortunate energy shortage – and just in time for Independence Day. But it won’t last.

No You, No Me

Life on planet earth would be so much less invasive if there were no people in it, according to Courant columnist Robert M. Thorson,a professor of geology at the University of Connecticut's College of Liberal Arts and Sciences.

“These invasions — trivial and serious — got me to thinking about an earlier biological event that took place about 40,000 years ago in Australia. It was then that humans, an invasive species, first found their way to the island continent on a different kind of an alien ship. Within a few thousand years of human occupation, and completely independent of climate or other environmental changes, most species of large animals in Australia either went extinct or were decimated. Giant kangaroos, flightless birds and what looked like oversized wombats disappeared in a geological flash.”