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17 Jun 2017

Maids (FDWs) finding LOVE in Spore

Missing family, lonely means maids can find love and men without bearing any responsibility? Maid killed by her lover means her family cannot see or touch her forever.... is it worth? You laid your life for love? Having a love child but abort/killing it, isn't cruel or sinful? Yes, some maids were cheated but do they deserve our sympathy? Did your employer force you to find man? Answer is no. Since no, how come MOM and activists held employers responsible for FDWs' action? Eg repatriate a pregnant maid, etc.

Filipino Maid jailed nine months for receiving stolen cash, TNP, 13 Jun 2017Filipino maid Shirley Navarrete Nalangan, 52, knew something was odd when her online boyfriend asked if she could receive some money in her bank account - supposedly for payments to a financing company. When she asked, he could not provide her with the name of the firm and failed to give a satisfactory explanation of why the cash had to be transferred through her. However, against her better judgment, she agreed to help him. (Winter: Love is blind? Or "laundering money" is too attractive?)

Yesterday, she was jailed for nine months after pleading guilty to dishonestly receiving stolen property. She had received $132,121.50 on Jan 2, 2014.

Nalangan came to Singapore in 1990 and, according to her Facebook profile, is single. In August 2012, she met Mr Albert Analdez through a dating website. He is purportedly from Kentucky in the United States. Sometime in October 2013, Mr Analdez asked for Nalangan's help to receive some funds. In December that year, Mr Analdez asked her to open an account with BNP Paribas to receive the money.

Investigations revealed the money had been transferred out of the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce account of Mr Fahmi El Hosseny, in Canadian currency, after the bank received an e-mail purportedly from him. Mr El Hosseny confirmed his e-mail account had been compromised.

Filipino Maid’s death was a fatal prank, Channel News Asia, 6 Jun 2017
A 39-year-old Filipino maid who hanged herself with a skipping rope did not commit suicide, State Coroner Marvin Bay said on Tuesday (Jun 6).

Jovylyn La Torre Rue, a mother of five, killed herself by accident while staging her own hanging, in an attempt to play a prank on her boyfriend, an inquiry heard. Ms Rue was found dead in her bedroom by her employer on Dec 11, 2016, 10 days before she was due to attend her daughter’s wedding in the Philippines. This was a trip she planned with “anticipation”, according to evidence supplied by a friend of Ms Rue.

The coroner noted that the friend told the police Ms Rue had played the same prank on her boyfriend of two years before, threatening to commit suicide until the man broke down and cried. Ms Rue told her friend she just wanted to “scare” and “toy with” the man to “test the extent of his love”, but that she had no intention to harm herself. She said that she knew “a safe way” to stage her hanging – by positioning the rope at a low level, the friend said.

So when the man called Ms Rue’s friend in tears because Ms Rue had threatened suicide after an argument, the friend told him to calm down and go to sleep, because she was sure Ms Rue was only joking. Ms Rue was pronounced dead at 11.42pm.

The rope around her neck was tied so loosely that it unraveled the moment it was cut by the police, the coroner said. “The possibility of Ms Rue having deliberately hanged herself … is highly remote. “Her friends, employer and sister have attested to the fact that Ms Rue never betrayed any suicidal intent,” Mr Bay said. “It is very likely she had compromised her own airway … while staging her false hanging.”

Ms Rue’s employer described her as having a happy-go-lucky attitude, and said she would often sing to herself while working. Her sister, who also worked in Singapore, said Ms Rue did not share much with her. It was Ms Rue’s friends who offered the most insight into her life, as the women would communicate via Facebook every day.

Two of Ms Rue’s friends told investigators that she was “two-timing” her boyfriend, and that they had cautioned her against “playing with fire”. On the day of her death – it was a Sunday, Ms Rue’s day off – she met her boyfriend, and they spent time at Fragrance Hotel at Kovan.

A few hours later, Ms Rue left, telling her boyfriend she had a birthday party to attend that he was not invited to, and to meet her in two hours at Farrer Park MRT station. Ms Rue then met her second boyfriend at City Square Mall, and the couple headed to Tai Hoe Hotel, where they remained for a few hours until Ms Rue left at 6pm. She had missed her meeting with the first boyfriend, and called him later to apologise, claiming she had been with her sister. But he wanted a better explanation, and the couple got into an argument. Ms Rue threatened suicide again, and the man called her friends to ask them to stop her.

The women tried to call Ms Rue and told her off for “playing the joke again”, saying it was like “torture” for the man, who had called them in tears. Ms Rue’s phone records show she had made seven missed video calls to her first boyfriend between 9.27pm and 9.36pm, showing she was still alive during this time. The coroner, Mr Bay, said it is “likely that she had intended to portray her enactment via the video calls that were missed”.

Ms Rue’s death was an accident and an “unfortunate misadventure”, Mr Bay said. Ms Rue had probably suffocated after winding the rope around her neck, and as she had been alone at home, “could not avail herself to any assistance,” said the coroner.

Bangladeshi worker gets 3½ years' jail and caning for stabbing domestic worker, Straits Times, 6 Apr 2017A Bangladeshi construction worker confronted his former girlfriend and stabbed her in the abdomen twice while she was walking home with her employer's child in a pram. (Winter: what happens if the baby is hurt due to the soured-love relationship of the FDW? Employers are expected to suffer in silence because it is common sense that Spore Employers have to absorb all costs/faults of their FDWs? Unfair yet nobody showed any concern to Employers! Many people said employers are control freaks. When unfortunate incidents such as this happens, the law makers/MOM and activists assumed that's employer's duty - for failing to teach the FDW right and selfishly assumed employers are strong, as well as capable of taking up things that aren't their fault)Ahamed Suhel, 29, had waited for Indonesian maid Nuri Samad, 32, at Gentle Road in Novena opposite a mosque at about 1pm on March 1 last year. The maid had ended their three-year relationship.Deputy Public Prosecutor Joshua Rene Jeyaraj said Suhel confronted the victim while she was on her way home and asked whether she had a new boyfriend. He had confronted her previously, the last time being in November 2015 where he hinted he had a knife but did not flash it in front of her.In the stabbing incident, Suhel took the victim's mobile phone to read her messages after confronting her again. As it was password-protected, he handed the phone to her to unlock it. While she was unlocking her phone, he took out a 17cm-long knife from underneath his shirt and stabbed her twice in the abdomen. One puncture went through her abdomen, perforating her colon and stomach. (Winter: soured-love, who pays for FDW's medical? The ill-fated employer! Why so unfair to employer who is merely a hirer? The harsh employment terms and security bond are strangling employers who didn't do anything wrong. Play the role of ATM machines well and without any grievances because you're the mighty employers, always standing higher than FDWs?)As the victim turned around to run away, Suhel hit her on the head with the knife and caused a cut on her scalp. He then threw the knife down. A 51-year-old man, standing on the opposite side of the road near the mosque, saw the attack. The victim ran towards him and shouted for help. The people inside the mosque heard her shouts and came out to assist her. Suhel was detained.Ms Nuri underwent an emergency operation at Tan Tock Seng Hospital after suffering two stab wounds on her abdomen and another over her right back. DPP Jeyaraj said the victim suffered permanent scarring on her abdomen as a result of the attack, and still experiences some discomfort as a result of the operation. District Judge Lorraine Ho who sentenced Suhel to 3½ years' jail and six strokes of the cane said the offence was pre-meditated, and a stiff sentence was warranted. She said such violent behaviour could not be condoned, and she hoped that the accused would learn from this lesson.Suhel could have been jailed for up to seven years, fined, caned or received any combined punishment for causing hurt with a dangerous weapon.Construction worker jailed for threatening to upload sex videos with maid, Straits Times, 13 Jan 2017A construction worker uploaded videos of him having sex with a domestic helper to her friends and family members on Facebook after he became angry that she wanted to break up with him.On Friday (Jan 13), Bangladeshi national Miah MD Shahin, 30, was jailed for 10 months for criminal intimidation. He admitted threatening the 34-year-old mother of one from Indonesia over the telephone on Dec 5, 2016. (Winter: Married Indonesian woman had love affair as FDW. Go home and pretend she worked hard for the family? Facebook surely is a good way to find men for lonely and love-deprived FDWs. Having such a lover is a form of punishment for married FDWs who forgot their main purpose to work is earn money for their faraway families, not "an appetite" for men. Wonder would their husbands leave them for adultery or their husbands are "fond of wearing green hats" ... taking into consideration the money FDWs bought home. As you can see from the link, no pictures were shown. That showed how much media and the law is trying to protect foreigners.)The court heard that the two had been having a nine-month relationship since February 2016. They would meet for sex in a hotel during which Miah would secretly record videos of their sexual activities using his mobile phone, and without her consent.Sometime on Dec 5, she decided to end her relationship and told him over the phone. But he refused to accept the break-up, and threatened that he would upload videos of her having sex with him on Facebook, with intent to cause alarm.Deputy Public Prosecutor Kong Kuek Foo said Miah had previously helped the victim in opening a Facebook account. He was able to access and change the password of the account. When she asked him for the password to her Facebook account, he refused to tell her.When the maid refused to meet him on Jan 1, he logged onto her Facebook account, and started sending the videos to her friends and family members. She eventually found out what he had done when her family members called and said that they had received videos of her having sex.According to the victim, at least 25 people received the videos. This caused her family members to become very angry with her. She felt very afraid that he would post more of the videos, and felt gravely insulted and violated by his actions. She lodged a police report on Jan 6, and he was arrested. Miah told police he sent the videos to the victim's friends on Facebook because he was angry with her for breaking up with him, and he wanted to shame her. He could have been jailed for up to two years and/or fined for the offence.

Indonesian Maid hides her stillborn baby in drawer, 20 Oct 2015, Straits Times
A 33-year-old maid from Indonesia was arrested after she gave birth to a stillborn baby boy and hid the foetus in a drawer at her employer's house. The incident occurred on Monday at a two-storey house along Lorong Ong Lye in Serangoon.

According to Chinese evening paper Shin Min Daily News, the maid later complained to her employers that she was not feeling well. She was taken to the KK Women's and Children's Hospital, where a doctor suspected she had recently given birth. Upon being questioned, she admitted to delivering a baby boy who had died on birth and hiding the body in a drawer in a second-floor room at her employers' house.

The Straits Times understands her employer is Cultural Medallion winner Chew Kok Chang, also known by his pen name Chew Chang. The poet was awarded the honour in 1991 for literature.

A police spokesman said police were alerted to the incident at 1.22pm and the baby's body was found in the drawer. He was pronounced dead by paramedics at the scene. The baby was believed to have been born prematurely at five months.

Shin Min said the woman has been working for the family - Mr Chew, who is 81, and his wife, and their daughter, her husband and 11-year-old son - for more than a year. Maid is believed to have two sons. Other maids in the area described her as being petite, and often dressed in loose clothing. One of them told Shin Min: "She often looked unhappy and never said she was pregnant."

They added that she did not often talk to the other maids, and had been going alone to the wet market to buy groceries since last month. Neighbours told Shin Min that they rarely saw her outdoors, except when she washed the car every week.

Police said the woman was arrested for concealment of birth by secret disposal of a dead body. Investigations are ongoing.

Love hurts but no one said it had to be cut-throat.A maid was slashed on Sunday by a man, who is alleged to be her former boyfriend, in what is believed to be a crime of passion. Ms Allen Remedios, 38, was returning to her employer's home at Block 311, Tampines Street 33, in the evening when she was attacked on the first storey. The man stopped her, took out a paper cutter and slashed her throat, wrist and palm. After he fled, she stumbled up the stairs to the second-storey flat, leaving a trail of blood.Another maid working for the same employer said she heard the door bell ring at about 6.30pm and was horrified to see Ms Remedios drenched in blood when she opened the door. "She was standing there with blood all over her. "The cut on her left hand was very deep, and blood was gushing out of her throat," the maid, who wanted to be known only as Ms Rose, 25, told The New Paper yesterday."She said, 'Sister, call boss', and I shouted for our employer, who came running out." By the time their employer, Mr Jose Mari Camacho, 40, rushed out of a room, Ms Remedios had slumped to the floor. The planning manager said: "I was shocked. I immediately grabbed a towel and told Rose to apply pressure on the injuries and called the police."She was still conscious and bleeding heavily. It was a very deep cut and I could see her trachea (windpipe) coming out from her throat, where blood was spurting out of," Mr Camacho said. "There were also deep cuts on her wrist and palm. I could see her bones and ligaments. Her thumb and finger were hanging just by the skin."Ms Rose said Ms Remedios broke up with her boyfriend, a construction worker, about three months ago and he had been seen loitering at the block for about an hour every Sunday since then. "She no longer kept in contact with him after they broke up but he was always hanging around the block on Sundays," she said.Mr Camacho said Ms Remedios is a good employee and he did not expect something like this to happen. (See report on right.) He accompanied her in the ambulance to the hospital and said that she lost so much blood that the doctors had to do a transfusion.

Ms Allen Remedios' colleague is so traumatised by the attack that she refuses to leave the flat. "I have an upcoming day off next Sunday but I don't want to take it," said the maid, who wanted to be known only as Ms Rose. "I'm scared to go out because the man is still not caught." She has been working for the family for less than a year and is now afraid to even open the door.When The New Paper visited the flat yesterday, her employer, Mr Jose Mari Camacho, opened the door. He said Ms Remedios, the victim, has been working for the family for about two years and was a good employee. She was so close to the family that she called him "elder brother" in Tagalog.He said that he was not against her having a boyfriend. "She's a worker, not a slave. She's separated and has a right to be in a relationship," he said. "We are all human. But I reminded her of the laws in Singapore and that she should be mindful of them. "No matter what, she definitely did not deserve to be slashed like that."

"Looking back, I probably should have been more vigilant. My neighbours had even warned me about Melanie, but I'd ignored them. They complained that she dressed provocatively - she was in her mid-20s and well-endowed - but I always made excuses for her. I trusted this woman with money and my children, so why not my husband?"I trusted Melanie to the point that when she fell pregnant a year after she'd started working for us, I didn't even ask her whom she'd had sex with. As she was four months along, I had to send her back to her home country to terminate the pregnancy. I told her she had the option of staying there or returning to Singapore to continue her job, and she chose the latter."I suspect that Melanie was in love with my husband. If Thomas had forced himself on her and she didn't want a sexual relationship with him, wouldn't she have just left Singapore and not returned? "At the time when I'd told Thomas about Melanie's pregnancy, he hadn't seemed too concerned. And when I'd asked him if he wanted her to come back, he'd left it to me to decide."I suspect too that Thomas had tried to sleep with our previous helpers, because a few of them had cut their employment short, telling me that they had to return home to be with their kids. They'd had it really good with us, so it had always surprised me when they'd wanted to leave.

"Maybe if I'd kept my eyes open, I could have stopped the affair from happening. I've since learnt from friends that it's not uncommon for male employers to have affairs with their domestic helpers. In fact, I know a man who only has sex with helpers."My advice to women with helpers is to keep a close eye on them, as well as on your hubby. When your helper starts to dress differently, question it. And don't leave your husband alone with your helper for too long. That was one of my biggest mistakes. I worked late and often, while my husband was home from work - and alone with Melanie - by mid-afternoon. He had all the time in the world to be unfaithful to me."My kids and I live with my parents now. I am happier and my children are well-adjusted. They were never close to their father, although after our divorce, I made sure that Thomas saw the kids about twice a week."Some months after the divorce, Thomas asked me for a reconciliation, but I said no because I don't need him in my life. I'm not dating anyone now and I'm not sure if I will marry again, but I've got my kids, and they're all I need to be happy."Ho Shee Wai, director and psychologist of The Counselling Place:- Your helper's looks are not the main draw.It's more because she is different from you. A man who cheats with his helper is usually attracted to something he values - something he doesn't think you have.- He may want to be her "rescuer".Some men become sympathetic or protective towards their helper. Perhaps the helper had a tough life or is facing a challenge. Her situation tugs at his heartstrings and he feels driven to take care of her.- He just can't say no.He may be unable to walk away from the attraction because he is faced with it whenever he is at home.

Maid's throat cut, man found hanged, Straits Times, 5 Feb 2015Ms Ruli Widyawati's employer was expecting her to return home on Sunday evening but, instead, got a call at midnight saying the Indonesian maid, 29, had been found dead in a hotel room in Geylang with her throat cut.Also discovered in the same third-floor room at Hotel 81 Palace in Lorong 16, according to reports in the Chinese newspapers Shin Min Daily News and Lianhe Wanbao yesterday, was Mr Chinnasamy Baskar, 31, a construction worker from India, who was found hanged. Ms Ruli was married with two young children in Indonesia. Mr Chinnasamy was not married.Police received a call at about 7.45pm on Sunday. The pair, who were pronounced dead by paramedics, had reportedly checked in at around 5pm, and were supposed to check out by 7pm.A hotel employee discovered their bodies and called the police.Ms Ruli had worked in Singapore before and had just returned last month with another agency. The owner of the agency, who did not want to be named, told The Straits Times he was shocked as she had a good record.The Indonesian Embassy said it had informed her family and would fly her body to her home town in Solo, near Yogyakarta, tomorrow. Her children are said to be 10 and six years old. Her employer, who declined to be named, told Lianhe Wanbao yesterday she had been hired recently.Mr Chinnasamy's employer, who also did not want to be named, said the dead man had been in Singapore for about five years, and that he was hard-working. The High Commission of India said that it was in touch with Mr Chinnasamy's family and would also work with a casket operator to send back his body after police investigations are completed.Police have classified the case as unnatural deaths

Lianhe Wanbao/AsiaOne, 9 Oct 2014
Suspecting Filipino maid-girlfriend is a double timer, boyfriend gathered his friend to teach her a lesson. These two men filmed themselves physically and verbally abusing the woman and uploaded the whole process online. They also constantly swear at her and even insult her by asking her crude questions. Both men hit the woman, pulling her hair and even punching her back, all while filming the incident.

A Bangladeshi construction worker, who was convicted of murder, had escaped the hangman’s noose — but he still wanted to appeal against the sentence, which will see him being locked away behind bars for life. In making his appeal yesterday, Kamrul Hasan Abdul Quddus, 40, who was unrepresented, told the Court of Appeal — Singapore’s final appeal court — that his family misses him.

However, the court, led by Judge of Appeal Andrew Phang, dismissed Kamrul’s appeal, saying that his sentence could not be reduced as it was the “minimum” punishment for his charge. Kamrul was convicted in 2010 of murdering his 25-year-old Indonesian girlfriend, Yulia Afriyanti, who worked here as a maid. Yulia’s naked body was found in December 2007 in a cardboard box in a unit of the Viz@Holland condominium, which was then under construction.

Last year, Kamrul was sentenced to life imprisonment and also ordered to receive 10 strokes of the cane. Kamrul is the fourth convicted murderer to be given a life sentence, instead of the death penalty.

Maid Yulia was probably clothed when attacked and her clothes removed later. This was forensic pathologist Gilbert Lau's view yesterday during Day Two of Indonesian maid Yulia Afriyanti's murder trial.

On the morning of 16 Dec 2007, Yulia's naked body was found in a large cardboard box at a bomb shelter-cum-storeroom in a third-storey unit at a condominium construction site at Queensway, near Holland Road. Her lover, construction worker Kamrul Hasan Abdul Quddus, 35, is accused of murdering her.

He faces the death penalty if found guilty.
According to autopsy and crime scene reports, Yulia's body was mostly dry, except for bloodstains on her face and lower limbs. Her upper and lower back and buttocks had a few particles of dust and building materials. When asked about the pool of blood at the base of the box where Yulia's body was found, Assoc Prof Lau said that probably happened after she was moved to the box. He said Yulia had probably bled a little from her nostrils and mouth during and after the attack, but lost more blood later, after she was put in the box.

Assoc Prof Lau said that most of the maid's injuries, especially those found on the underside of her chin, the underside of her jaw and her neck, would have been inflicted while she was being strangled and trying to resist her attacker. He reiterated that several injuries, like a blood clot around her left eye and a fracture around her left lower eyelid, suggested her attacker had also hit or punched her. When asked about a graze found on the right side of Yulia's chest, extending from her right collarbone to her right nipple, he said that could have occurred when she fell or was pushed onto the floor or any other rough and hard surface. Assoc Prof Lau also said the abrasions on Yulia's genitals were relatively fresh, indicating she could have had sex between 4.15am on 15Dec and 4.15am the following day.

The crime scene report said no drag marks were seen on the floor of the master bedroom where the bomb shelter-cum-storeroom was located.

Kamrul met Yulia at a social gathering, introduced by a mutual friend in 2005. They became intimate a year later in January 2007, and would meet once or twice a month.In September the same year, she told her employers and friends that she was returning to Indonesia and would be marrying Kamrul there. But a month later, the marriage was called off. Yulia confided in her employers that Kamrul was already married in Bangladesh with two children.

A love triangle with Kamrul and Joseph.
Yulia's number was given to the above, 25-year old Joseph Guerzon Corpuza, a Filipino construction worker here, in early October 2007. He called her on that very day and they made plans to meet on her day off on Sunday, October 14.They spent the afternoon at the East Coast Park before window shopping at City Plaza. He then took her to her employer's house at Grange Heights. She told him that she had a boyfriend (Kamrul) but had returned to Bangladesh.

Their relationship blossomed. They too became intimate, planned to marry but she never broke up with Kamrul. They continued their frequent and intimate telephone conversations. Beside Sundays' meetings, he would sometimes travel from Boon Lay to Grange Heights to meet her when she walked her employer's dog at the condominium at 8 pm every night. They had sexual relationship in November despite Yulia's fear of getting pregnant again. The pregnancy was aborted. He was not informed who the father was.

Winter: Above used his family misses him to appeal against life sentence for murder. Missing family is really a fantastic excuse for foreign workers, including FDWs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yes, somemaids were cheated but do they deserve our sympathy? Could be their body or money cheated but who should bear the blame? Employers? Why not FDW 100% responsible for all her actions?Did your employer force you to find man? Did your employer tie you up and force you to board the plane to work in Spore? Maids can't stand loneliness or separation from their loved ones should be their own fault! Maids made the decision to work in Spore as FDWs - maids chose the best route to make more money.If maid can't work diligently as a FDW for at least 2 years, use excuse that she is lonely and need love, at the expense of your employer, is this fair? FDWs, please stay in your home country and find as much love as you want there. Why disguise yourself as maid and work here? Yes, you miss your family and sex life but weren't these considered before you decide to work as FDW? You are not a child or brainless person when you stepped into your home country agency.Maids in below case, you asked for it and deserved punishment 老天有 眼， 人在做天在看， 报应! FindingLove or Sex is not the right method to show or prove you're a human being/woman and be respected. There are many better ways to 'cure your loneliness'. Why stoop so low? Using men to show your values and self-worth, then bring miseries to your employers? Is this what a responsible and person with dignity does?

Did man who set up Facebook maid support group do it for sex? The New Paper, 10 Aug 2014A man who started a support group for troubled maids on Facebook is now accused of using it to have sex with them. At least four maids claimed they had sex with him and posted about it on the group's Facebook wall.One of them, Filipina Angel Yash Reynoso, 29, even claimed he made her pregnant and then insisted she go for an abortion. Instead, she decided to return to the Philippines, where she gave birth to the baby boy in February.The Facebook group, known as "SHEG. MAID Jobs Singapore, No Fee/Deduction - For Employers & Maids", was started in December 2012 by someone who calls himself Mahal Jat on the social media site.SHEG stands for Secular Humanitarian Egalitarian Group.The group purportedly serves to "espouse the cause of furthering the rights" of foreign domestic workers here. It has more than 86,000 members and the creator often posts about maids' issues at work and also useful information such as Manpower Ministry and migrant worker groups helplines.Maids would share work-related problems and other members would comment.Sometimes, they post links to articles on issues concerning maids.

However, in May this year, Miss Angel posted on the group's wall, saying that the man is the father of her child. A few others, who claimed to have had sex with him, soon followed. These posts were removed from the Facebook page almost immediately and those who posted were blocked from the group, said Miss Angel. Maids who claimed to fall for Mr "Mahal's" sweet-talking told TNP that he told them he was married to a Singaporean, but is divorced with a nine-year-old son.According to the maids, he is a 42-year-old permanent resident here who holds Australian citizenship and lives in a condominium at Paya Lebar.His LinkedIn account indicates that he has a doctorate in business administration. When TNP contacted Mr "Mahal", he called these allegations mere rumours started by "trouble-makers", but declined to say more. He initially agreed to meet TNP for an interview, but changed his mind and has been uncontactable since.TNP also spoke to Mr "Mahal's" friend, Mr Johare Mohamed, who showed us a Facebook conversation he claims he had with Mr "Mahal" regarding the maids' allegations. Mr "Mahal" allegedly wrote: "If women throw themselves at me and ask for date, and I tell them I cannot marry, cannot give long term relationship, and they willingly want to date despite zero promises and me making everything clear up front, then it's casual date only. "I do not chase women. If they throw themselves at me, even if I make clear I have nothing to give, then no one has right to make gossip or use wrong words, brother."

The reply shocked and upset Mr Johare, 37, a security officer, who has lodged a police report against Mr "Mahal". The security officer had joined the group half a year ago as he agreed with the cause Mr "Mahal" championed - maids' rights. Said Mr Johare: "He's a leader of the group, yet he did these things behind everyone's back."Mr Johare met with Mr Jolovan Wham, the executive director of the Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (Home). He and his wife, who wanted to be known only as Jenny, showed Mr Wham screengrabs of his conversation with Mr "Mahal", as well as the police report that Mr Johare had lodged against him. They found out from Mr Wham that he had already been approached by Mr "Mahal" about the allegations.Said Madam Jenny: "He (Mr Wham) told me to just make noise on the Facebook page and tell the other foreign domestic workers to be more aware."Miss Angel Yash Reynoso received a Facebook friend request from "Mahal Jat" in February last year. After chatting online for two months, he asked to meet the 29-year-old."When I tested positive, I was so shocked. I told him about it, but he asked me to take Cytotec." Cytotec induces a miscarriage. "I felt so hurt. I did not want to abort the baby. I'd rather die than to do that," she told TNP. What hurt her even more was the way he denied being the father of her baby, she added.She had held him in high regard because of his advocacy of foreign domestic worker rights in the Facebook group. She showed TNP screengrabs of a text message exchange that she claimed took place between Mr "Mahal" and her friend who confronted him. He had said: "I told you already I don't have anything to do with her and her unwanted child. Don't invent similarities with me." In hindsight, she felt she should have been more cautious. She said: "I will not trust any guy easily anymore. It's just sweet talk."He comforted me, then we had sex in tentWhen she had sex with him for the first time in a tent at Pasir Ris Park, she did it because she was in love. But two months on, she realised that she was just one of several women in Mr "Mahal Jat's" life. The Indonesian maid, who wanted to be known only as Carrie, first became Facebook friends with him last October, shortly after joining the Facebook group. "At that time, I was depressed because my then-boyfriend was cheating on me. I felt very comfortable with "Mahal" as he would always comfort me when I was down," the 29-year-old told The New Paper.After a month, they met up for the first time.She was smitten, but steered clear of him after that because "he had many girlfriends". Miss Carrie said she held Mr "Mahal" in high regard because she thought he was related to migrant worker group Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (Home), convinced by the Home-related information he posted, and a photo he put online of him and a Home staff member.

The pair met again in May, after she broke up with her then-boyfriend."We decided to meet at Pasir Ris Park because we both like the beach. He brought a tent along. He told me he had checked the weather forecast, which said it would rain. "At that time, I thought it was for protection (from the rain). I didn't think much about it," Miss Carrie said. They had sex in the tent that day. "I thought he really loved me, after we did it," said Miss Carrie.But she started receiving Facebook messages from different members saying that Mr "Mahal" has been telling them they are sexy. "When I found out, I got jealous and confronted him," she said. But, she claimed, he called her vulgar names and accused her of using him. "He told me he won't let me destroy his name or use his name for popularity. "After that day, I got really fed up. I told myself that I will never contact this man again," she said.When TNP contacted Mr Jolovan Wham of the Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (Home), he declined to comment on Mr "Mahal's" alleged actions as he did not know him, but confirmed that he is not connected to Home. Mr Wham also confirmed that Mr "Mahal" had messaged him on Facebook, saying that there are people spreading rumours about him.After learning that some maids had given their Facebook passwords and work permit numbers to Mr "Mahal", Mr Wham advised them to be more careful when it comes to giving out their personal information.Mr "Mahal" had allegedly asked for their passwords so that he could add other maids to the Facebook group. Dr Noorashikin Abdul Rahman, who is on the executive committee of Transient Workers Count Too, said that while the Internet is a good source of knowledge, it could be harmful for those who are less discerning.

Facebook maid's comment:
Judith Angel Abrera: I am absolutely not agree about what this man did to the women for making them fall inlove with him, but they know that he is married at the very first place, why then they still want to have relationship with him? I think lets not point all the blame to that man, this women whom he had relationship has fault too, knowing that his married and yet they have sex with him.

Maybellg May Bel: Maybe he want make some fun with Fdw and make groups so that he can makes with all of them who are wanted to join !

Joan Damas Peralata: I managed to buy this news paper I want to read it, I can't believed that SHEG MAID JOB NOT CONNECTED TO HOME

Hlongwane Sipho: i onces member of that page but they blocked me due to i commented heavy loaded that maybe hits their ego. That is just a fun page nothing to serious

Tiffany Nip: If he is as innocent as what all those naive women claims he is, don't delete the posts or comments. Don't banned the people trying to create awareness. Truth will prevail isn't it so?

Maeda Ayaka: So far i join this group dont have problem. As Long we can control ourself and be alert to any love scam.why should i worry.. A lot indonesian men try to be friend with me also bad they pretending love and going marry me the end they want only money

Darlene Hope Cainglet DonaireL I havent meet those man ever since but this accusation is so unfair...they character assassinate to destroy those man.to that girl who alleged that she had sex into him you are just putting yourself on a shame...did those man force you to perform sex with you? as what you have said you are the one who has dating and making love with him inside d tent so you're after for what? and to those lady who alleged that they had a child its like your fault because at the first place you know that he is married man...you guys stop it...you are putting our name on a shamed as an ofw. sorry po.

I have extracted quite a number of comments that were find in the page of MJ. The identity of MJ is Mahal Jat, a person who claimed to be an Indian expat cum FDW's employer. He is one of the admin for a Facebook group, -“SHEG. Maid Jobs Singapore, No Fee/Deduction – For employers and maids”, in English. I tried to browse SHEG but found a lot of pages were gone (closed). SHEG in Filipino language is still available but I don't understand so unable to translate.

Then I stumbled upon this:Mahal Jat, Preying on foreign domestic workers for sex through Facebook group?His Facebook support group was meant to provide information to foreign domestic workers (FWDs) in Singapore. But he is now being accused of using it to lure the FDWs into having sex with him, with one claiming that she has borne him a child as a result.Mahal Jat, whom the FDWs The Online Citizen (TOC) spoke to said he claimed to be from India and Australia, started the Faceook public group, “SHEG. Maid Jobs Singapore, No Fee/Deduction – For employers and maids”, in December 2012. To date, it has garnered over 86,000 “likes”.Since the accusations against Mahal Jat emerged, however, the page’s status has been changed to a closed group. The group describes the Facebook page as a platform “where FDW meet each other to help each other with advice, information and advocacy.” “There is no office, no managers, no leader, only SELF-LEADERS,” the page says. “Each member is encouraged to become a SELF-LEADER. Any member can help fellow members via the wall, Any member can seek help by posting on the wall.”It encouraged FDWs & employers to “discuss FDW related issues, post job/helper wanted advert on the wall without transfer fee & salary deductions.”Apparently, the FDWs found the page very helpful, and started to use it to interact with one another on various matters which concerned them, mostly about employment regulations, work-related problems. They also at times arrange meet-ups offline.The controversy over Mahal Jat’s behaviour surfaced in May this year, when Filipina Angel Yash Reynoso, 29, posted on the wall of SHEG’s Facebook page that Mahal Jat had fathered her baby. Her posts were shortly removed from the Facebook wall.Mahal Jat reportedly denied being the man responsible for her pregnancy, and told Angel Yash Reynoso to abort the baby, which she refused. Angel Yash Reynoso decided to return to the Philippines instead. FDWs who are pregnant are required to leave Singapore. Angel Yash Reynoso gave birth to her baby in February this year. She, however, is not the only FDWs who say that Mahal Jat had used the Facebook page to have sex with them.At least four other FDWs have stepped forward to accuse him of this. A FDW (whom we shall name ‘M’) who is in touch with some of the women involved told TOC that she believes that there are more than four women who have had sex with Mahal Jat through the Facebook group. M told TOC that Mahal Jat, because of the help the Facebook page rendered to FDWs, was trusted by the FDWs and they looked up to him.“Everybody thought he was a hero, helping the FDWs,” M said. Some of them apparently fell in love with him too. One had gone to Pasir Ris with Mahal Jat – which M said was “Mahal’s style” when going out with the FDWs – and had had sex with him in a tent, because she was in love with him. But she soon realised that she was just one of many women in Mahal Jat’s life. She said she had met Mahal Jat at a time when she was depressed after a break-up with her boyfriend.“I felt very comfortable with Mahal as he would always comfort me when I was down,” the press reported her as having said. She said she regarded Mahal highly because she thought he worked for the non-governmental organisation, Humanitarian Organisation for Migration Economics (HOME).After she and Mahal had had sex in the tent in Pasir Ris beach, she said she thought he really cared for her. Unfortunately, she soon found out from other women on the Facebook group that Mahal Jat had also wooed them. “When I found out, I got jealous and confronted him,” she said.She says Mahal Jat instead turned it around and accused her of using him, and he even used vulgarities on her. As for Angel Yash Reynoso, she had met Mahal Jat through Facebook in February last year. After several subsequent meet-ups, she became pregnant. When she told Mahal Jat about it, his first reaction was to tell her, “Abort it.” “I felt so hurt. I did not want to abort the baby. I’d rather die than to do that,” she told The New Paper.Angel Yash Reynoso, who had been working in Singapore for 12 years then, chose to return to the Philippines instead – and according to M, is planning to return to Singapore, now that she has given birth to her baby. She, like others, had held Mahal Jat in high regard because of his advocacy work supporting FDWs. “I will not trust any guy easily anymore,” she said. “It’s just sweet talk.”The news is now the talk of the town among the FDW community, with some sharing their views on it on other online groups, such as Mingle In Singapore.When approached by the newspapers, Mahal Jat denied all the charges and accusations which he said were started by “trouble-makers”. Mahal Jat has since become uncontactable. A friend of his, Johare Mohamed, says that in a Facebook conversation with him, Mahal Jat had placed the blame on the women.Mahal Jat allegedly said:“If women throw themselves at me and ask for a date, and I tell them I cannot marry, cannot give long term relationship, and they willingly want to date despite zero promises, and me making everything clear up front, then it’s casual date only. “I do not chase women. If they throw themselves at me, even if I make clear I have nothing to give, then no one has right to make gossip or use wrong words, brother.”HOME, in the meantime, confirmed that Mahal Jat is not connected to the organisation.

I have commented somewhere in this blog, MJ behaved like an expat and teaching FDWs the wrong things, eg claiming local employers easily earned S$5000 per month and it is not wrong of FDWs to demand higher salary from us. It is bad that MJ is taking advantage of FDWs who are finding love. FDWs are to be blamed. If you had behaved properly, work as a domestic helper (not somebody holidaying or sex deprived) and doesn't have such enormous craving for man (lonely), would such thing happen? FDWs find excuses (with the guidance of activists and MOM) to get involved with men in order to satisfy their desire to be loved while working as FDW .... very lonely and depressing to work as maid. When a maid gets pregnant, the man 奸夫/姘头 can choose to disappear and stay totally clean. If a maid has to be repatriated, her employer pays for her air ticket ... suffers the losses, not forgetting additional time needed and new agency fees to recruit a replacement. MOM hasn't been kind to employers. We were strongly advised to treat maids like human beings, show respect to them, don't restrain them, give them freedom, give weekly off days (to rest, not find men), etc but when bad things happen, employers have to bear the risks and losses. Why so unfair? FDWs are grown up, shouldn't maids be held fully responsible for what they did as well as pay employers compensation for their wilfulness or misbehaviour? Maids get to enjoy, have fun at the expense of their unfortunate employers = fair?Why treat employers like ATM machines, leave us stranded and be bullied? Maids are not shameful about what they did because MOM/agency/activists educated them wrongly. Look at the pro-maid, pro-source country and pro-agency policies that I've highlighted. Existing policies will not make FDWs learn to be good and responsible helpers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Winter: Who pays for FDW's medical fee - getting into a fight and ended up injured or killed? You thought the maid pays? Employers are required by pro-maid MOM to PAY for things that are not their fault!

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal posted on MJ's Facebook (18 Jul 2014):
My coworkers friend been at lucky plaza last Sunday....
And witnessed that there are two helper filipina who are fighting bcoz of common bf....
Now the other filipina goes hospital and damage her Spinal cord........how can she work now....
Reflection...
If ever one here same situation pls remember....dont fight over the bf instead throw the bf not deserving to fight....
And be a friend to the other woman bcoz u both fooled by the same man.....

Reich Delos Santos: I just saw it cause im a passer by...the police officer are there to fetch the lady...disgusting

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal Ok....thanks for your info....
Though we dont like to get on peoples business ...hope this share, can learn some lesson and remind us all that work and health is more important than a bf....we all here for work just a reminder....
We must know our priorities....there are life back home defend on us hoping there life gets better through our work here.....

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: Maris ....people are not same thinking...so sometimes they are out of control by thier emotions....and expectations..... this in not first time happen few years back too...i read in newspaper related situations too....

Glenda De Jesus Agustin: Maybe they are aunties already lol. but anyway we must not do that,there are so many guys around singapore..if the bf have other change it hahahaha just kidding

Michelle Waltl: ja... im also looking my xf flipina in singapur..who also pay for hotel and foods fro bangla bf... i was shocked..but she said its her happiness. i dont understand if they fight and spent money for that stuff

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: Michelle I guess those kind desperate of love....its the only person they feel being loved and cherish so they do such things......those who really want to experience being loved....

There are people who wish for that unconditional love specially when anything around are stress and struggles....so if they can feel the love by spending the money and they feel happiness thats why they chose that way....thats only my views...

Michelle Waltl: i respect your point...but sometime i can also say its living in fantasy world,, happiness built inside our own choices so maybe this is the way to do and make them happy...

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: Michelle u are right...someday they will realize it just let them enjoy the ride of life....
will thats her choice....of way...she is happier to give and give and recieve the love she expects.......
those kind are in learning process people sometimes wont even listen until they will experience it already....

Maris Cabantoc Cabus: Maybe that lady her standard is very low,hehe!

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: Maris that kind never learn yet what is real life, what really matters in life, but our family matters most they are always behind us we may in better or worse...they support and accept us unconditionally....

Ping Sumayo: fighting for a boyfriend oh my,where is there dignity and self respect. poor ladies.

Corpuz Hilda: This is stupid..two womans fighting in public bcoz of undeserving bf......we came to work here inorder to elivate the condition of our family...not to do such things ... fghting over a man! What a pitty....they never think about the circumstances...now what happen...one has been hospitalised!!! Omg

Vanessa Garcia: NICE POSTED ...this will help us to be more popular we are aware already in what was going around us i hope this will enlighten us not to discriminate us nice comments keep up

Mitch M. Pasaway: There's nothing wrong for having a bf here because it's not against the MOm laws, as long as we know our limitations and don't fight over bf only because it's such a disgusting attitudes, if your bf got other girl just let him go and ask her to keep him and no need to risk your life for this kinds of guy.

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: I guess having a bf and getting pregnant are illegal...right....

Vanessa Garcia: if u are not sure sis Jogie i will tell u having bf is not illegal but getting pregnant will be the cause that the fdw will send back home and blacklist ok?

Mitch M. Pasaway: Having bf is not illegal and getting pregnant can be a reason so that the fdw will send back home and can be blacklisted but it's depends to the employer also.

Corpuz Hilda: Having a bf is allowed but it depends if your employer is allowed also...but be careful not to get pregnant coz if the mom founds out that you are pregnant..not only you are get into trouble your employer as well so be careful!

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: My agency before told that having relation to any foreign people are not allowed

Shazzed Hossain I'm drawing attention of those person who fall in love without knowing well about the person.

Corpuz Hilda: Well it is because some man or even a woman are hiding their true identities....this is called life abroad!
Hmmm...i notice that some are not interested of knowing ones identity... coz having in relationship abroad mostly they called it for fun to avoid homesickness...after one of them is going home to their country of origin it will considered the relationship is over....they are just being practical...need someone during their financial needs...so your true identity is not necessary at all!!

Dane Montano: People do that is nonsense they use their emotion first than their mind.

Mitch M. Pasaway: They should fight with the boy and not fight with each other because they are both pinays, if I'm the girl I rather slap the guy face and go away.

Joannie Araneta That is right, fighting for nonsense.. That's what u call stupidity, sorry for the offense meant but we are talking about reality/fact.

Leonor Padillo Itong: I think its not about bf but about money,,

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: Leonor you been there.....thats what my coworker told me that ncoz of bf....so I post it here if someone knows the true reason....just correct it if IM WRONG.....THANKS
When we judge a person we are not defining the person but we define ourselves of who we are..... words never been spoken without going through first in the mind.......

Leonor Padillo Itong: My cousin been there ,,its about money coz the deceased lend money to other girl
According to the friend of the deceased the other girl order things but she didn't pay so when the deceased saw the other girl in tangs then thats the start of argument!!!RIP for the deceased!

Aneth D. Nazareno: So means she died? Oh my God ! So its not about men lah! I cannot understand why they end up in a fight physically! We all earn money for living but we should know to pay back whenever we borrowed someone money! I just want to say if you borrowed for your family,nobody critize you but sometimes i have a lot of friends and relatives never pay me but i see them keep posting in fb what they have,,i just feel sorry for myself! I believe their sin is not my sin! No matter what they have now still end with nothing,why need to cheat of people? Im very sick to this kind of human! But still praying that keep me safe and strong to help the needy! Cheater is no life reminder to all

Leonor Padillo Itong: As my cousin told me the girl who borrow the money didnt pay the time she promise to give it back... Yeah they say she's die brain hemorrhage
According to my cousin the girl who have "otang" accidentally push the other girl then the back of the neck knock on the floor so got unconscious
They say they call ambulance coz the eye just open but can't talk,next day she passed away according to them

Vanessa Garcia: Gossip can lead us in many troubles if we don't know exactly the real story don't judge the person it doesn't mean u witnessed they are fighting and result to the death is you know the reason coz you dont know them personally becarefull in posting must be the real story

Hanika Peñano: Some other person even they have money but they want to borrow a money to others its like a habit that cant control...so this happen is a warning to all of us that we should not trust regarding of money matter...especially the person that very difficult to pay...

Mimi Bareng: Im so sad about this topic why so rude that someone need to end life why you should fight like a child on a money matters which you can talk about it we all came here to earn money not to end our life or end someone life for a money im really sad to read about this post:-(... now who suffer the consequences our country and both parties who fight for the worthless penny...very shameful! It maybe an accident but it's not acceptable accident its very rude behavior pushing someone in a crowded place or anywhere which you can be calm and talk about it maybe there's a reason why she cannot pay the "utang"....i feel so sad for both of you girls and to your families they are the one who suffer most.....PLEASE EVERYONE HERE AVOID THIS TO HAPPEN TO EACH OF US LETS BE CALM AND PATIENT IF THIS MATTER WILL HAPPEN TO US IN THE FUTURE TO AVOID THIS TRAGIC INCIDENT.....Condolence to the family of the deceased girl

Mimi Bareng: we cannot trust anybody here but because we are came in the same country which culture is kind,caring and loving we understand each other's problems and troubles but its just some people are abusive specially in money sometimes so if a person is hard headed to pay their utang just sued them go to court do the legal way not fight like a ferocious animals cause we are not animals let's prove them that we are educated ......please fellow peace no fighting....i pray that this situation will never never happened again

Glenda De Jesus Agustin: Me somebody have utang 350$ 4months already,i lend her because she need it urgently,but this filipina never pay me...im sooo angry,i sms her no reply,i call her never answer...im really pissed off i wanted to go to their house to scold her,but i control my self..i just bear in mind that it is just a small money. Karma is always there to help me.

Leonor Padillo Itong: Really really hard to trust anyone when it comes to money even though she/he is ur friend....

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: miss Glenda the one who ddnt pay u and as if hiding from u...if dont pay you really just leave it u just can earn money....but dignity cannot be earn .....and once damage done never we cant reverse it back....but there is no nxt time for the utang....once is enough....God will give u back in different ways u never know....better to give than the one who beg.....karma will paid full and with interest...you are still blessed....u have the kind heart.....God bless u more...

Thats whats my friend here told me before I start here she said dont trust anyone who lend u money even they are ur friends...bcoz mostly they dont pay and u know already they come back home......
Lets all be learned this...we may selfish thinking but we earn our money through hard work......

Aneth D. Nazareno: Yehey can we have a group for hug hug,,the worst u see them in fb enjoying their money and if u ask cannot pay not enough till at the end u tired asking and u shameful to yourself keep asking your own money and people just they take it easy! They are some thick skin! Leave them! Always think money can finish but they cannot replace their face from others

Ezeth Bautista: So we must be avoids some troublesome here in Singapore we came here to work not to find problems and illegal business also or find boyfrnd some more.

Cheche Demayo Valero: Sometimes we cnt ign0re s0me0ne who need our help ,m0st of all if it is emergency . If she help u d0nt hide c0z she has a kindhearted to help. If u cnt pay tell it directly ,be frank.. We work hre to supp0rt our family to buy what we want. What u need is also what she need. .

Cecilia Torres: "EXACTLY" they just make u fool... the stupid pinay also , so shameful girl.... i dn't know why some of our co-pinay here never use the brain at all... how stupid.. dn't use ur ass girls... hahay

Glenda De Jesus Agustin: Having an affair is not a problem,the problem is when we can't concentrate our works already,always on the phone..sometimes go out without any permission to employers...

Jogie Lumaghan Rosal: Miss Glenda yeah i fully agree with u....my coworker done it before and even stole money for top up...bcoz she is like crazy if cannot call the bf....

She is not filipina....
Mom of my employer send her back to agency...without prior notice in an instant go back agency,.she dont know how to top up she needs another neighbor helper to assist her...imagine 28$ every other day top up....where she get the money she bought S2 before she had salary....

Siti Aisyah: I have 2 friend philippine borrow money from me until now they never pay back they just ignore me without word I just let it go GOD know what we do

Leonor Padillo Itong: Don't say stupidity sometimes we can't control our anger,,,just imagine u trust ur friend to lend money but the time u need it she just ignore u??? That money u hard earned not just u pick up somewhere!!

Above 'story' started off as a love triangle but turned out, it was a case of borrowed money but refused to return. When comes to money, it is very sensitive, be it FDW with employer or FDW and her friends. My money doesn't drop from the sky nor given by PAP, it is thru hard work, same for FDWs... you come here to get paid for work done, your services are not free. Don't come here with your 'happiness in employers hands - fully responsible for your whines' theory ... eg finding boyfriends, become sex partners, etc. If you thought you purposely offered poor services, can ski your way thru without being reprimanded/detected and expect employer to pay you without feeling frustrated ... would you pay happily if you're the employer? Nobody wants our hard earned money to fall into bad hands (agencies, FDWs, source countries)... do you want?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FDWs who come here to earn a living for their family back home, should put their mind to work. If the intention is to come here for the good life, they should self pay a holiday. Don't come here to pollute Spore in the name of boredom, earn easy money and cannot live without men! Behave and work professionally if you're a high class and responsible human being 禽兽 没有人类思维。 若欲望高的离谱，你应该当妓而不是帮佣， 一举两得. If FDWs need men, full of complaints about her FDW job, feel that FDW is a form of slavery/time consuming job, you should be prostitute ... you get loved by men and earn 'open leg' money ... You don't need to slog more than 8 hours to work each day! You came here as FDW and enjoyed live-in benefits + demand for love at your employer's expense, purposely doing a disservice to your employer, is this pardonable? If you're the employer, your maid did this to you, do you feel this is fair? If you're the husband of such a maid, how do you feel? Forgive her? She's a human and sending some money home (silence your mouth) so what she did is no big deal?If your mother left you to work in Spore, cheated your father and you, how do you feel? She is 伟大 selfless, dignified and a great mum? You don't feel shameful to have such a wife or mother? If you chose to be a prostitute and seek your family's understanding, I don't think you are in the wrong to earn such 'lustful' money. Using FDW as an undercover is despicable! This is deceiving and you made your employers go thru unnecessary headaches/losses. You are selfish and self-centred. If any activist/minister says it is alright, it is part of being a human being or a form of de-stress, tell them to hire you! Don't just preach at somebody else's expense.MOM/PAP loves foreigner, maybe can pair up couples so that they can live-out at their own costs. Husband can be a construction worker that is, a lower level Work Permit holder (WP is issued to foreign unskilled workers. S pass holder - mid skilled, earns a minimum salary of S$2,200. EP holder - Professional foreigner, earns at least $3,300 is what we classified as foreign talent) and the wife is a FDW. They have no excuse to say they are lonely and needed 'forbidden love'.

Employers' top three peeves about their maids, Mypaper, 16 June 2014Bringing boyfriends home, stealing and hitting the children are the top three complaints employers make about their maids, major agencies here told The Straits Times.These complaints are lodged with the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), which receives an average of about 200 complaints a month, a spokesman said yesterday, in response to queries.Agents say most maids with a complaint against them are not hired here again. Orange Employment agency owner Shirley Ng said: "They won't get a second chance to work in Singapore." Best Home Employment agency owner Tay Khoon Beng said: "Most employers won't even call the previous employer to find out more. They just say no."

Akame Charis - Maids need to socialise too
As a domestic helper myself, I understand the need for a social life. Thankfully, my employers do not interfere with my personal life - they give me space to hang out with my gals or to meet someone special.

N. Magdala - Maids must be prudent
Having a relationship is not wrong because maids are people too, and we have our needs. However, maids who do so should be smart about it.

Do not be flirty although there are many Bangladeshi and Indian guys who may make eyes at you. In fact, I feel upset with the way some maids behave, for example, bringing the man into the employer's home and wearing skimpy clothes. Such people spoil the name of other maids who are here to make a decent living.

Azli Talip - Who's responsible when things go wrong?
The question of domestic workers having a relationship is tied to the issue of giving them weekly days off as has been announced. The likelihood is that more time off means more time for mixing around and forming relationships. Even if both areas were all right - maids are people too - there are those who behave unprofessionally. For instance, there are those who interrupt work to make calls to their boyfriend, ignoring housework or the small child they are paid to look after.

Will the authorities and voluntary agencies in support of such workers take responsibility for any untoward incidents?

Zulkarnain Muhammad - Spare thought for employers
Much voice has been given to the plight of maids. Spare a thought for the difficulties employers face when bad things happen.

For example, if the maid is found pregnant, the family employing her has to go through the process of getting a new maid and training her all over again. This takes time. Some of us have little leave as it is and having to use up the days for this is not fair to employers. Anyone thought of this?

Some have said that employers should accept that foreign domestic workers should have a love life, talk to them about sex and set conditions for them to abide by. Really? How are we supposed to be responsible for their having safe sex with their partner - or partners?

My point is simple: People who come here to earn a living for their family back home, should put their mind to work. If the intention is to come here for the good life, they should take a holiday.

Yun Cang You - Depends on maids' maturity
Maids having relationships - right or wrong? This depends on the maturity of the maid as well as how she handles herself.

The employer-maid relationship is a two-way street. If the maid has shown herself to be responsible, she should be treated as an "extension" of the family, with various aspects of her needs - including relationships - met.

Maid has void deck 'date' -- when she's supposed to be looking after elderly person in wheelchair STOMP, 17 May 2014

Stomper Esther spotted this maid on a void deck rendezvous with a man when she was supposed to be caring for an elderly charge in a wheelchair.

According to the Stomper, the elderly person was made to face away from the two and was ignored for more than an hour.

The Stomper wrote:

"This incident happened at the void deck of Block 122 Geylang East Central on May 13, Tuesday, at 1.10pm. "I believe the helper was supposed to take care of the elderly person who was seated in the wheel chair.

"Apparently, she is seen behaving intimately with a man, ignoring the elderly who was left in the wheel chair for more than an hour. "The helpless elderly was facing the opposite direction so that he/she would not be able to see what is happening between the helper and the man.

"I feel sorry for the elderly as this is not the first time I encounter this incident.

"I am enraged with the irresponsible behaviour of some helpers.

"The employers trust these helpers with their elderly parents however, some helpers take advantage of such situations. I kindly plead that employers take some effort to know what their helpers are doing outside so that this kind of incidents could be avoided.

"I hope this will bring some awareness to employers who have helpers at their homes."

Winter: Activists/Expats are brainwashing maids, telling them FDWs are human beings and have the rights to satisfy their craving for love, at the expense of others. Putting aside FDW's full-time day job and finding male companionship is correct? Isn't this irresponsible? If this elderly is your father, would you encourage your maid/FDW (I am saying your maid, not somebody else's) to drop her care for your dad and do whatever she likes, just because you want her to feel she's a human being and being respected, not a slave in your household?

How can activists brainwash maids and tell them their priority is their personal affairs/pleasure and not their FDW job scope? Why MOM is not regulating maids and agencies, tell them they have accepted a FDW job and should strictly adhered to their AEAS/CASE/Agency standard contract and work permit terms & conditions - perform a proper and decent job in Spore. Modern maids have off days so why they are so eager to show their love when they are suppose to work?

FDW felt this is morally (some maids are married) correct, nothing wrong? Employers are paying maids so that they can fleece us? All these are due to MOM pro-maid and pro-agency policies. Employers and families are shortchanged, we're not protected, despite the fact we paid an average of S$1500 each month for a live-in FDW!

Do you know a number of modern maids did not do any housework in source countries, were princesses 十指不沾阳春水 好命娇娃 and yet applied to work as FDWs? They are here to work little and play hard hard, best is find boyfriends. We trained FDWs to become good helper but how many are really here to work as FDW and won't complain too much work (FDW was able to rest well but she wants more personal time) or house too big (HDB unit too big, are you serious maid's house not bigger then mine?). Who knows, modern maids are here to make use of off days find foreign talents become their partners.... 长期饭票. FDW is just a disguise, a stepping stop. Spore is made up of so many high salaried foreigners (click MOM data). As at Dec 2013, there were 1,107,100 foreigner workers, excluding domestic maids. Out of this figure,175,100 holding EP and 160,900 holding S pass. Total FDW work permit issued were 214,500.

Why filipinos' 'hub' is in Orchard? I don't understand why filipino maids get the best spot in Spore - Orchard, the most crowded weekend place and tourist belt, you know why?

Brought her employer's child out for her date.

Activists, Ministers and Ministry of Manpower, are you telling me this is right? Or you intend to find excuse for this maid, claiming that child is hers? Is this how human rights are to be used? Who's there to think of or protect that poor child?

If this is your child and you went out to work for bread and butter, treated your maid well, didn't cage her yet she did this to you.... a nice, not a tyrant employer, is her act forgivable?

This maid's child is not 'made out of real love'. Maid murdered her own child to escape her responsibility. Isn't this sinful?

What this maid did implicated her employer and family! Her personal fling with man caused miseries to others. Is her misbehavior fair to another human being - the employer who paid for a FDW, not prostitute or playgirl?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Employer: am I a good employerMaid: yesEmployer: are you a good helperMaid: (hesitate) .... I don't knowEmployer: are you a good mother and good wife?Maid: why do you ask?Employer: neigbours saw you dating your sweetheat.Employer: you made me a laughing stock in this neigbourhood. Others aware of your relationship but I am the last to find out. You made me foolishly paid for your phone bills, thinking you wanted to stay connected with family and husband. I feel sorry for your husband and child.

Tara, 23, came here to work as a maid two years ago.The Filipina does not get a day off, as her employers do not want her to mix with “bad company” when she goes out on her own.

Little do they know that she started dating one of the condominium’s security guard six months ago. The maid, who is married in the Philippines with a four-year-old son, has even invited her boyfriend to her employers’ apartment on two occasions when no one was home. She says that she needs love and companionship too.

= = = =Merlina Bobonao: I DON'T JUDGED & CONDEMN WHAT THE HELL YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR LIVES BUT THIS IS NOT A GOOD IMAGE FOR THE FILIPINO WOMEN YOUR DRAGGING PEOPLE WORKING FAIR & SQUARE WHOSE NOT INTO THIS THING INTO SHAME........IF YOU CAN'T DEAL LONELINESS THEN WHY THE HELL YOU CAME HERE FOR...............!!!!!!! YOU CAME HERE TO WORK NOT TO HAVE AN AFFAIR MOSTLY IF YOU ARE HAVING FAMILY AT HOME! !!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is this how a human being behaves?Live telecast and FREE show! Hoping this kind of open style business concept can bring in more men to love you deeply?

Maids having ‘love’ at East Coast Park, Shin Min Daily News, 16 Sep 2013
Picture: From outside the tent, photographer could see quite clearly a maid with her boyfriend, they undressed and openly made love.

The public noticed that maids and male foreign workers are enjoying ‘LOVE’ at East Coast Park. Over the weekends, they put up tents, their "little love nest" to make love and destroy the serenity of the Park. This also spoilt family outings which include children who went to the Park.

Shin Min Daily News reporter who was present at the scene, saw one of the maids and workers getting ‘screwed’ in the tent. Maids used to be spotted in Orchard Road area but after knowing male foreign workers, they moved their nests to East Coast Park because having a tent is so much cheaper than paying for hostel or hotel. East Coast Park is a place for healthy family fun and bonding but ruined by these inconsiderate people. Parks are not private places for maids to seek love and affection.

To all Maids/FDWs in SporeHave you searched your moral conscience? I hope most would agree that conscience is the proverbial angel on your shoulder, the antagonist is the little devil who whispers temptations in your ear perched on your other shoulder. To use your moral conscience is not to listen to the devil or those evil whisperers (your friends) around you. What other maids are doing or activists are preaching, are you sure by following their footsteps or advice, you’ll achieve the freedom and human rights you thought you should get? What about the consequences of your actions? Did your friends or activists said they will help you unconditionally if YOU ran into trouble?They intend to provide you with new livelihood, give you money if you cannot work, eg paralysed or infected with AIDS??

Have you ever felt you may not be able to return home? Did it ever cross your mind you may no longer be able to hug your dearest children or families?

Is it really a must to find love and sex in Spore? Are you 100% sure what you’re doing is correct?

Some employers are trying to protect themselves from the harm that you may bring but indirectly, they are also protecting your interest and future. Have you really mulled over their words of wisdom or caution? Or you simply felt their sayings are suffocating you, thus, driving you to break free and hack care about the consequences of your wilfulness?

You feel proud to have admirers? You feel more secure or attractive to receive men's attention?

If you've done your daily chores and appeared to be a capable domestic helper so you think it is your rights to do whatever you fancy on your off days or unofficial time-off? This is your private life although your work permit and Spore law stated Employer is held responsible for what you did, eg pregnant or injured during a fight? You felt hurting your employer or destroying the trust is something commendable? You think this is fair to another human being who wasn't given similiar human rights?

Is lonely a good reason to find love and sex while working as a 2-year FDW??You can go home, nobody said after 2 years, you are tied down and cannot return home get or maintain a 'healthy and proper' relation with man.

=============
This may happen to you. Nobody will be lucky forever and runaway scot-free. You'll pay for your actions one fine day or those dearest to you may get what you sow! Findlove, find sex and a road of no return?

Rezzilyn Lodia Vinegas had left her hometown of Tagudin, Ilocos Sur, to work in a bakery in Manila in the early 2000s. Despite her mother's protestations, her partner went with her and they shared a home. Vinegas bore the man three children. She returned to Tagudin some years later and started searching for employment in Singapore because she felt that her salary in the Philippines was insufficient. "It's so sad that their mother went to Singapore to give them a brighter future, but they don't seem to know her."

In Singapore, other Filipino maids apparently told Vinegas about the rumours about the man in her hometown. The family requested The New Paper not to identify the man, who is unemployed.

Vinegas' half-sister, Aileen Lacasandile, 35, who works as a maid in Abu Dhabi, broke down uncontrollably when she found out about her death. Speaking to The New Paper at the family home on Friday, she said: "I cannot accept her death. She is a strong person. She is happy and friendly. "She is very responsible, she wouldn't leave her children behind. She always sends money to the kids. How are they going to do without her?"

Vinegas' death is still very puzzling, and everyone is still shocked how she and her Bangladeshi boyfriend, Md Sumon Md Lutfar, were found dead in the hotel room together. They had no inkling of any fights or unhappiness between them.

Vinegas' bloodied body was discovered in a room at Summer Hotel on Lorong 22, Geylang. The police received a call around 11.40pm on March 4. Sumon, 22, who worked in an air-con company and Vinegas were discovered with cuts on their limbs and necks. They were pronounced dead at the scene by paramedics.

A police spokesman said a knife with a 5cm-long blade was found at the scene. The couple had met about half a year ago and went steady after a few months. During this time, Sumon would reportedly lavish gifts on Vinegas. They even exchanged engagement rings they had bought for each other. But their love affair didn't have a happy ending.

The deaths came as a shock to the couple's friends and colleagues. There were no telltale signs that pointed to such a tragic ending, they say.

============== Maid stabbed by lover
Yes, the injuries on her back were caused by her boyfriend. But they did not cause Madam Ruliyawati’s death.

Instead, she had immersed herself in the water in the tank and she did so “with the intention to end her own life”, said State Coroner Imran Abdul Hamid in his findings yesterday during an inquiry into the Indonesian maid’s death.

Madam Ruliyawati, 30, was found floating inside a water tank at the rooftop of Block 686B, Woodlands Drive 73 on May 16, 2011, with 15 superficial stab wounds on her body.

While 13 were found on her waist and limbs, the remaining two were on her back.

============== Maids say Bangladeshi workers only want woman's body, The New Paper, 9 Mar 2012
It's the Bangladeshi boys who are flirty, not us. This was what domestic workers told The New Paper. "They only want the woman's body," said Sarminah, 30, an Indonesian who has been working here as a maid for five years. She gets one day off a month and spends that day hanging out with friends in Changi Village or in CityPlaza.

The maid, who is married with two children, added: "Even on the road, when I go out to do things for my employer, they will follow me and ask for my number." Another maid, who declined to be identified, agreed with Sarminah. The petite, long-haired 26-year-old Filipina with a sweet face and gentle demeanour has been working in Singapore for only 11/2 years. But she claimed she has already been hit on countless times by Bangladeshi men. She said this happens every time she goes to town on her days off. She gets one Sunday off a month.

She usually spends her days off with her 32-year-old aunt, who has worked here for more than a decade, at Orchard Road shopping centres such as Lucky Plaza. She said: "The men will look at me and smile, but I never smile back. Otherwise, they will try and make friends with me." Sometimes, the bolder men cut straight to the chase. She said: "They will come up to me and say, 'Hi, miss, can I have your number?' "They'll say things like, 'You look so pretty, so sexy.' But I just pretend I didn't hear them."

There are those who are even more persistent. Once, she said, she was tailed by a Bangladeshi man for 30minutes at Orchard Road. "I was walking with my aunt, but from the corner of my eye, I could see him following us," she said. She said she does not want to get into a relationship as the problems that may arise are notworth her while. 'I ignore them'.

Christina Manava Umalla, 29, a Filipina who has worked here for four years, said she scolds the men who try to pass her pieces of paper with mobile phone numbers on them. Umalla, who meets up with friends at Lucky Plaza on her days off, said: "I will ignore them when they flirt with me. But when they come and talk to me, I tell them, 'Are you crazy?' "If you talk to them, they will think you like them."

Umalla, who gets one Sunday off a month, added: "There are a lot of Bangladeshi men. Some of them are handsome and neat. But I don't like it when they disturb me."

But the charm of male foreign workers sends 46-year-old Gena into a fit of giggles. The Filipina admitted that she found them attractive, but turned coy when asked what she liked about them. The maid, who gets a day off each month, said: "But I don't want to give them my number and my cousin said that if I say hi to them, they will follow me."

============== Maid killed her lover
She couldn't let go, even when her lover refused to call of his wedding back home in India.

Tharmalingam Puwaneswary, a 33-year-old maid from Sri Lanka who is married with two children, even went as far as to track down Mr Murugaiyan Selvam's fiancee to tell her about their relationship.

Yet it didn't destroy Mr Murugiayan's marriage plans, causing the lovers to quarrel frequently in the months leading up to his death in December 2009, allegedly by Puwaneswary's hand.

A psychiatrist who interviewed Puwaneswary testified at her trial yesterday, saying that her difficult marriage had caused her to be "very lonely and emotionally needy".

============== I need love, I am lonely - voice of a married maid in Spore, 13 Mar 2012, The New Paper
When her employers leave their condominium for work in the morning, Tara's heart beats faster. Because it is time to meet her boyfriend. Despite her employers not giving her a day off for fear that she will mix with bad company or find a boyfriend, the maid has found an admirer.

The 23-year-old Filipina, who declines to give her full name, says she is dating one of the condominium's security guards. "He works the night shift and we meet in the morning after my employers go to work," reveals Tara, who came to Singapore two years ago. Every morning, her employers send their two children to pre-school before going to work. She is then left alone at home with the kids' elderly grandmother.

Tara, who has to walk the dog and go to the market in the mornings, takes the opportunity to meet her boyfriend during that time. She believes her employers do not know about her boyfriend. On two occasions when the grandmother was not home, Tara even invited her boyfriend to her employers' three-bedroom condominium unit.

"I was very scared that someone would come home suddenly. So I stopped inviting him. We just meet outside now. We go to the park nearby. Few people go there because it's very hot," says Tara. "I cannot let my employers know I have a boyfriend or they will send me back to the Philippines, and I need my job here."

Tara says her employers have read about the recent news of a Bangladeshi man and a Filipino maid found dead in a Geylang hotel. They warned her about having a boyfriend here. "They said that things often go bad for people like us who fall in love here," says Tara, who started dating only six months ago. "I don't think this will happen to me. My boyfriend is very nice to me."

Tara does not see the need to tell her employers about her boyfriend, and feels that even though she works here as a maid, she deserves to have some degree of privacy. "Maids are human beings and we have feelings too. It is natural to fall in love," says Tara, who is married in the Philippines and has a four-year-old son with her Filipino husband. "I still love my husband and my son. But I am all alone in Singapore and I need someone here too, because I need to stay and work here for many years to support my family back home."

Tara smiles shyly when she tells this reporter how caring her boyfriend has been. "He takes me to the supermarket on his motorbike. Before, I had to walk under the hot sun and carry the heavy groceries home by myself. He also helps to top up my phone card and recently, he bought me an iPhone so that I can surf the Internet, watch videos and log on to Facebook," reveals Tara. She keeps her rendezvous with her boyfriend to two hours as she needs to get lunch ready before the kids come home at 12pm.

Like most maids, Tara is hired to take care of the children and the elderly in the family. She does all the household chores and ensures that the home is spick-and-span when her employers return home from work at 7pm. On her employers' advice on staying in so she can avoid "bad company", she says: "I don't know what they mean by bad company. They don't realise that I need friends too. I like to go to the supermarket, where I meet other maids. We all understand each other," says Tara.

"Many maids have boyfriends. We will introduce friends to each other and take care of each other, whether or not we have a day off. "New maids who come here will be given a day off. I am not so lucky. My employers will only give me $20 more for each Sunday I work."

"They scold me all the time and call me 'stupid' behind their children's back. But in front of their children and friends, they seem very nice to me." Tara recalls how she would often cry herself to sleep in her first year here. But she soon learnt how to handle her employers' complaints and scolding.

Even though she does not have a rest day, she manages to take afternoon naps inside the bathroom. Occasionally, Tara amuses herself by trying on her female employer's dresses and taking photos of herself with her iPhone. "Sometimes I hide in the bathroom to watch videos on my iPhone. I love my iPhone so much and I cannot let my employers know I have one. They will take it away from me. I keep too many secrets inside my iPhone."

============= Finding love in broad daylight, no need to hide. This is human rights, nothing wrong to meet boyfriend during working hours. We are maids, not slaves! No need to feel ashamed or get uneasy to have spectators??!!??

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4 comments:

I have been hiring domestic help (maid) since 2007. How I look at it is - I am just an employer, not my maid's family or friend, so why should I be bothered about how she wants to lead her life. As long as she does her work properly, I don't ask any questions about her private life if she doesn't want to share with me, it's fine, because everybody deserve some privacy. As an employee, this is exactly what I would expect from my boss too. If I am incompetent, my boss can fire me, but my boss should not dictate how I live my life, regardless how much he/she is paying me.

Our bosses do not need to tell us, dictate what is right and what is wrong. The companies that hired us know we are responsible people. We do what is best for our family.

The company’s policies will be adhered as long as we want to remain employed. We, as employee of a company, do not try to bend the policies or pretend we're not aware of the terms listed in our employment contract.

This simple mindset, a way of respecting the company doesn’t apply to domestic maids. Don’t understand why FDWs enjoy getting employers into trouble for actions due to them…. FDWs’ private lives are made responsible by Employers, according to MOM’s regulations. There’s no way employer can be spared from an insensible and selfish maid, eg pregnant or injured herself during a hard fight over man’s affection. FDWs are known to treat their employment contract as dirt! Maids do what they like and what will benefit them most, even if it means violating MOM's policies or stepping on their Spore employment contract.... FDW excused herself using human rights!

Sleeping with men, getting entangled with men is part of human rights? Be prostitute - play well and enjoy life as FDW. Pretend life is hard, pretend you need love, shred crocodile tears, get the activists, people working in MOM or people who pity you to employ you.

They should have lots of empathy and a kind heart to welcome prostitutes. They should do what they preached. If these ‘nice’ people can’t take you in, God should punish them for pretending to be Angels and ignore the woes of FDWs’ employers … lying is not a virtue, am I not right?

Having love affairs at employer's expense, you felt this is fair? If you felt maid deserve privacy and a full love life as FDW, you should become a maid-prostitute's employer. Enjoy her service and feel the goodness. Don't just sweet talk and cheat others. If you're a devil, don't pretend you're an Angel. If lying is in your blood, don't pollute this world.

One of them is smart enough to know the BOSS knows what to do, but obvious no first aid training.

I think the starting pay for FDW is too high...but at the same time, FDW do not get enough time off! It's a toxic combination. Money cannot buy the physical and mental health that rest and leisure bring. It would be better if starting paid be reduce and mandatory rest days increase, and with subsidy, those with need for round-the-clock care could and should hire two maids.

It is psychologically unreasonable to give maids so little leisure time, living where you work means you never leave work. I read that compared to North America, Japan has never-ending work days, 9 to 9, 9 to 11! BUT, the total amount of work that got done is less than those with 9 to 5 work days, because they get TIRED. This isn't just a human decency issue, it's good employment practice. When I was in hard labour, it was mandatory for me to take 15 minute breaks at certain intervals even if I rather finished the work at and first, the regulations were there to prevent accidents. How much more important it is to have an alert worker when they are charged with care of vulnerable people. It's more than 8 hours rest, it's not overburdening the mind with too much tasks - military mom Lyn Balfour tragically forgot her own son in a hot car because she had a busy week, and they broke routine when they placed their son out of sight behind the driver's seat, because daddy who doesn't usually travel with mommy had placed someone in baby Bryce's usual spot, and mommy was rushing to work while defusing a cousin's crisis on the phone after a week of her baby having the flu. Many loving parents have done this when their day had been overstacked.

I think it is perfectly reasonable though to expect a maid to be celibate during the terms of her 2 year employment - you don't need sex to live. When I was in vocational college, nobody I knew around me was dating! That's because we have 3 tests a week (plus volunteering to pad future resume, plus PT work), no time to date - and vocational college is only 2 years, two intensely packed years of little rest and little leisure, with the aim of something much better at the end. Delayed gratification is sensible. Maids shouldn't be locked up like children or prisoners but sat down and given a through talk: you won't attract quality men as maid, you will attract STD infested sex pests. Be patient, a future exist beyond the now - endure and save money for that future by not f*cking it up by f*cking around! To encourage the maid to think long term and work for long term goal, pay them the absolute minimum, but paid into a bonus they can e only retrieve if they reach the end of their contract.

/FDWs’ private lives are made responsible by Employers, according to MOM’s regulation/ (Winter)

...and that is a huge part of Singapore's toxic problem! Maids need the freedom to leave the employer's home, but WITH that, MOM need to stop making employers pay for what maid has decided to do. I thought Singapore whipped criminals? Making employers responsible for their employee's free will is lazy governing that will lead to the 'unintended' consequence of maids being imprisoned, the good being punished with the bad.

It's so weird that Singapore have no proper daycare and senior homes and special facilities for special needs people. Canada have these things, but we are far behind Singapore when it comes to housing! People here will not believe me when I tell them that in Singapore, 80% of people live in government built housing and 90% own it with government help! Here, we have cockroach infested public housing with a 15 year long waiting list, it's rent-only, because nothing new is being build. The average Torontonian spent 70% of our income on rent.