Canada’s identity Olympics are obnoxious

When it comes to the Olympics, I get it. Competition is the name of the game.

But Canadian cities vying for the title of “most iconic town?” Spare me.

Why are we obsessed with trying to rank stuff (CBC’s Greatest Canadian campaign springs to mind)? Can’t we just let a great beach be great, without asking whether a beach that’s 7, 000 km away is better?

This latest contest comes to us grace a Labatt Blue, which is asking Canadians to crown a winner by August 15 via its Facebook page. The winning town will receive a $25, 000 community grant and an “ultimate end of summer party,” where the beverage of choice will obviously be Snapple (right?).

First of all – these are towns?! I think Maple Creek, Saskatchewan (population: 2,220) may have something to say about that. As far as I’m concerned, if you have a Walmart and more than two bums with outstretched ball caps parked on the main street, you’re a city.

Second: how can one of these spots represent all of us?

It seems to me that this is yet another forced attempt to make our behemoth of a country feel more intimate and cohesive than it really is. Personally, I don’t believe that Victoria and Thunder Bay have much in common at all (beyond the Walmart and the bums). And I doubt that anyone from Whitehorse has arrived in Moncton and uttered: “geez, this feels a lot like home.”

Based on living in Canada (and, more importantly, travelling outside of it), I’ve deduced this: we are hella insecure. The fact that we even have to discuss our identity on an ongoing basis suggests that we don’t have one. And guess what? I’m okay with that. I don’t need to blast a Kim Mitchell/Gowan/Alanis medley to make me feel better.

Actually, I do need to blast Gowan, but for another reason (pure joy).

Ask me to pick the “most iconic” orange from a stack of oranges, and I can do it. But these cities – ahem, towns – are more like a basket of mixed fruit. And everybody knows the saying about comparing apples to oranges…

Reb Stevenson is a firm believer that life doesn't have to suck.
She's a writer and videomonger who enjoys cooking, travelling, long distance walking and brevity when it comes to these bios. Nothing ... read moremakes her quite so happy as a montage in an '80s movie.
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