When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for conservatives to divorce themselves from superstitions they’ve embraced since the Progressive Movement of the 1920s and join the pantheon of reasonable people, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

I hold these truths to be totally friggin’ obvious, that all drugs are not created equal, that we’ve wasted billions of dollars and millions of lives pursuing a demented “zero tolerance” temperance goal that was Never Going To Happen, that the losses we’ve endured trying stamp out weed have cost American society more than they’ve gained, that among these losses are lives, money, and opportunity. That whenever a policy becomes so destructive of the ends of living free and prospering that even the Dean of American Conservative Intellectualism screams “LEGALIZE IT,” only an idiot would hold propaganda images from Refer Madnessas an excuse to support our current marijuana prohibition. That if tomorrow the laws of the federal government and the 48 states still prohibiting possession of a milligram of marijuana were erased and forgotten, the world would go on, America would remain the lone Super Power (with other gaining) and the largest economy in the history of mankind, dogs would continue to chase cats, Angelina Jolie would still be hot, and Rachel Maddow would remain an idiot. To prove this, let Facts about this War On Drugs be submitted to a candid world:

It costs about $56 billion a year

It squanders tax revenue from the drugs targeted of about $42 billion (if taxed like alcohol and tobacco)

It costs governments $98 billion dollars a year in net money—a fine down payment on our umpteen-quadrillion dollar national debt

It screws up the lives of about 680,000 Americans per year whose only crime was possession of marijuana with no intent to distribute

It fails to reduce the number of people who try weed, as the usage rate in the USA is identical to usage in Holland where it’s legal

It rewards organized crime, street gangs, and international drug cartels by creating a black market with inflated prices

It takes police away from serious crimes like rape, murder, assault, and terrorism

It has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance. (Sorry. That’s such an awesome sentence I had to steal it from TJ.)

Seriously, here’s what Buckley said about conservatives and weed in 2004:

Conservatives pride themselves on resisting change, which is as it should be. But intelligent deference to tradition and stability can evolve into intellectual sloth and moral fanaticism, as when conservatives simply decline to look up from dogma because the effort to raise their heads and reconsider is too great. The laws aren’t exactly indefensible, because practically nothing is, and the thunderers who tell us to stay the course can always find one man or woman who, having taken marijuana, moved on to severe mental disorder. But that argument, to quote myself, is on the order of saying that every rapist began by masturbating. General rules based on individual victims are unwise. And although there is a perfectly respectable case against using marijuana, the penalties imposed on those who reject that case, or who give way to weakness of resolution, are very difficult to defend. If all our laws were paradigmatic, imagine what we would do to anyone caught lighting a cigarette, or drinking a beer. Or — exulting in life in the paradigm — committing adultery. Send them all to Guantanamo? [emphasis added for emphasis]

So, grow up, conservatives, or be ready to lose a lot of tourism money to Colorado and Washington. Pot isn’t a super-addictive poison that gives people super-human strength to kill cops and rape nuns. It’s not H, and it’s not Angel Dust. It’s pot. Unless you’re afraid of people driving too slow and staying out of bar fights, settle down. If pot were legalized, Hostess would still be in business and likely challenging Apple for the highest market cap in history.

If conservatives want to be seen as serious about the real threats to freedom, we better let go of the bogeyman we’ve carried over from the Coolidge administration.

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8 Comments

I agree with you Bill – for all the reasons that you have stated. I have wondered IF Washington and Colorado’s laws will in some way be overturned – due to the United Nations Single Convention on Narcotic Drugs, adopted in 1961 to outlaw “illicit substances” across the planet. I believe that the US signed on to that and cannabis is on the yellow list of that treaty. So, it seems that the US would be in violation of a UN treaty. This COULD get interesting and MAY make citizens aware of threats to national sovereignty in public policies, international treaties and agreements?

You make a fabulous point. In fact, the UN is already leaning on Obama to send the feds into Colorado and Washington. See this blog: http://usahitman.com/untcwoml/

This news–the idea of the UN dictating our states’ laws–should rally conservatives to the cause. Let’s stand up the UN and reassert our independence. Maybe July 4, 2013, should a massive demonstration of our national and state sovereignty. #LegalizeIt

Bill,
That’s why I’ve come up with a great business idea: marijuana K-cups. We would sell an automatic joint roller and a line of MJ cartridges in various flavors and blends. Pop a cartridge into the machine and out pops a nicely rolled doobie. The perfect give for the stoner who has everything. For groups, buy our party-size cartridges for use in our hookah. Perhaps we could get Warren Buffett to invest. What do you think?