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Going to Dairy Queen and not ordering a Blizzard is so dumb, it's like going to Taco Bell and not getting stomach cramps Doritos Locos Tacos. Since Summertime is the best time to eat the Blizzard, we're helping you select the best of the 22 Blizzards by taste-testing each one, scoring them on a scale from 1-10, and then power-ranking them from worst to first. Our four food detectives are on the case. The (fattening, delicious) game's afoot!

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Rank: 22Flavor: HawaiianTasting Notes: Banana, toasted coconut, and pineapple are all fine and dandy, but they belong nowhere near a Blizzard. One taste-tester called it a "concoction of crap". On the brighter side, we also got some free DQ swag; a tiara and a wand for the lady testers.Average Score: 0.75

Rank: 21Flavor: Lemon Meringue PieTasting Notes: See the tiara and wand? They're totally helping our tester Rebecca get into the Dairy Queen spirit. The pie pieces were a nice touch, but this is not worth ordering, even though it's a limited-time-only treat that'll be taken off the menu at the end of July.Average Score: 5

Rank: 19Flavor: Turtle Pecan ClusterTasting Notes: Despite the name, this does not feature pieces of Leonardo, Donatello, or the one who was a party dude; rather, this Blizzard offers pecans and strong caramel flavors.Average Score: 5.75

Rank: 17Flavor: Oreo CheesequakeTasting Notes: Here, a DQ franchise owner shows off how the Blizzard defies gravity. She noted that new DQ employees are often afraid to do this. The mix of Oreo pieces and chunks of cheesecake blended together beautifully here.Average Score: 6.25

Rank: 16Flavor: Cookie DoughTasting Notes: One of the two most popular Blizzard flavors around, we enjoyed the cookie dough chunks, but didn't like it as much as some of the other flavors.Average Score: 6.5

Rank: 14 (tie)Flavor: Double Fudge Cookie DoughTasting Notes: It might not look like it, but all Blizzards have a vanilla soft-serve base. To make this double fudge, it takes a whole lotta cocoa fudge. "Super chocolatey", says one tester. No doubt.Average Score: 6.75

Rank: 6 (tie)Flavor: Midnight TruffleTasting Notes: Those pellet-looking things are truffle pieces that get blended into the Blizzard, and let us tell you first-hand, those things are STRONG on their own. Mixed in with the vanilla soft-serve, however, they're a super-chocolatey delight.Average Score: 8.25

Rank: 6 (tie)Flavor: Choco Cherry LoveTasting Notes: This is the best of the fruit-enhanced Blizzards, and the use of real cherries and dark chocolate chunks had us smiling. And lest you think we take our judging lightly, think again. We created a spreadsheet like someone who has a real job!Average Score: 8.25

Rank: 5Flavor: Banana SplitTasting Notes: Scoring this Blizzard so high was a shock to the tasters, who did not expect to like this pineapple-, strawberry-, and chocolate-filled concoction that much. This is why we play the game, people!Average Score: 8.5

Rank: 4Flavor: OreoTasting Notes: One of the other most popular Blizzards on the market, the cream-filled cookie ice cream treat delivers. Wins bonus points for the notes of Oreo frosting.Average Score: 8.75

Rank: 2Flavor: HeathTasting Notes: The toffee from the Heath bar gets doused with chocolate syrup and hot fudge, and blends nicely with the vanilla soft-serve. The candy bar you might not've cared for as a kid makes for a spectacular dessert.Average Score: 9.5

Rank: 1Flavor: S'moresTasting Notes: The unanimous winner is the Blizzard only available during the Summer months. Bits of graham cracker and marshmallow cream make this taste like you're "sitting at a campfire".Average Score: 10.0

We also tasted DQ's other signature desserts, including an ice cream cake they decorated using edible spray paint and the logo of a random, super-cool company filled with handsome editors. Out of five treats (including fan-fave Peanut Buster Parfait, a Banana Split, a cake cone of cherry-dipped vanilla soft-serve, and a chocolate-dipped strawberry waffle bowl), the ice cream cake & the waffle bowl both scored 10 out of 10.

With our taste buds spent, we ventured off into the hot sun. We gave it a 9.5 because it keeps humanity alive.