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A spoof video depicting Mathieu Valbuena’s sex tape has emerged online, and if the real one is anything like this then we can see why he wouldn’t want it being shown to the world.

The spoof plays on ‘Petit Velo’s’ height, or lack thereof as at just 5’5, the France international is one of the shortest players in European football, and he unfortunately gets mercilessly ripped over it.

The Lyon star is seen as unable to climb up onto the bed, and needs some help from his stunning partner with a crude lasso.

And though a criminal gang blackmailing somebody over a leaked sex tape is no laughing matter, the video below, quite frankly, is!