F*** off as a Service

This man could soon be using F*** Off as a Service. Angry businessman photo via Shutterstock

You can’t spell insult without IT. Open-source and tongue-in-cheek, “FOaaS” is a highpoint in XaaS innovation – and it delivers the perfect insult as a service.

It’s a simple formula. Take any product, add “as a Service” and some cheap cloud storage, and you’ve just founded your very own XaaS startup.

Platforms, software, grocery shopping – these days there’s an “…as a Service” solution for just about everything. We’ve even heard people discussing “SaaS as a Service” at JAX conferences.

VP of Hewlett Packard, Shane Robison has commented that we’re “moving to a future state where everything will be delivered to you as a service, from your work life to entertainment to various communities.” That also goes for insults, as one rather tongue-in-cheek service is proving.

F*** off as a Service

Hosted on Herokuapp, F*** off as Service is the latest addition to an increasingly competitive XaaS market. In its own words FOaaS “provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to f*** off.”

Need to tell someone to go and get f***ed? We know of an API for that!
– FOaaS

The service’s API can be used to return insults of both the succinct and the long and embellished sort.

/off/:name/:from
Will return content of the form F*** off, :name.

/chainsaw/:name/:fromWill return content of the form F*** me gently with a chainsaw, :name. Do I look like Mother Teresa?

/yoda/:name/:fromWill return content of the form F*** off, you must, :name. – :from.

/because/:from
Will return content of the form Why? Because F*** you, that’s why. – :from.

The service has even spawned an amorous counterpart – Love as a Service, which boasts numerous practical features like /war/:name/:from, which returns Make Love, not war :name, you are f***ing thick. – :from.

Now in v0.0.4, FOaaS is welcoming contributions on GitHub to internationalize and randomize its insults, as outlined the service’s roadmap. Blogger Charlie Harvey says he’s “expecting an IPO any day now.”

It’s not clear whether the original FOaaS is intended as a mockery of the unstoppable XaaS hype or as a genuine innovation in telling people to get lost. Either way, if Shane Robison’s XaaS predictions come true, this might just become the most important service in IT.

Coman was Editor of JAXenter.com at S&S Media Group. He has a master's degree in cultural studies and has written and edited content for numerous news, tech and culture websites and magazines, as well as several ad agencies.