Love is a big part of anyone’s life. You have it. You don’t have it. You want it. You’re trying to get away from it. Whatever it is, you cannot ignore the impact of love on the human life. And language reflects this. In English we have love expressions for whatever love phase you are in. Take a look at some of the more common expressions below:

1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder – so being away from someone you think you love with help clarify that. If being away from them makes you miss them more, it’s love.

2. Love will find a way – if you really love someone, no difficulty is insurmountable

3. Puppy love – Although this is often young love and not taken seriously, it is certainly felt deeply by those involved

4. All’s fair in love and war – in love there are no rules

5. Love is blind – the all-time classic. When you love someone, you don’t always see or care about their faults

The list is endless. The point is that language reflects a lot about the culture and society of people. And language is a window into the minds of humans.

Someone told me the other day that they know a man who was married for many years who, after years of being nagged by his wife, began to hate the sound of his own name. To me, this is a tragic story and one that made me think about my own relationship. According to a neurological study on gender, women notice detail more than men do. These two points may seem unconnected but hear me out: If women notice detail more than men then surely in the home environment, women will be the first to notice the dirty dishes, the clutter on the dining room table or the clothes lying on the floor.

This doesn’t in any way excuse a man’s untidiness (assuming he is untidy – I know some men are so clean and tidy it terrifies even the Swiss government) it just means that women should be more patient and allow more time for a man to notice the untidiness and do something about it.

So that’s where my first point comes in. If you, as a woman, need to point out something that needs some attention, perhaps once is enough. And then bite your tongue, be patient and have faith in your partner. Too often if our partner doesn’t react quickly enough (because we noticed it long ago and it is therefore annoying us greatly by this point) we begin to remind over and over again until it becomes nagging. This can build resentment in a relationship. Such a small thing that can have big consequences.

Blog-tionary:

To nag: to remind someone to do something repeatedly so that is becomes an annoying complaint

I think it is in our nature, but to me that is the point. Maybe we need to learn to be more patient. Yes, sometimes nagging is necessary because there are time limits and things need to get done. But when we have time we can try to have patience. Ask once and then trust that it will get done.

When a new year dawns, we start to reassess things in our lives and our relationships are not exempt. It’s a good time to reflect on our relationships and in particular on what works and what doesn’t.

So what are some things we can think about changing?

Be more grateful for your partner. Try to notice and appreciate what is special about your partner. So often we take these things for granted. Treat your partner like you would a good friend.

Show more interest in your partner’s life, work and interests. Learning more about your partner will help you to appreciate them more and they will appreciate you more if you show that you care about them and are interested in their happiness.

Be more understanding of my partner’s faults. This also means accepting that you make mistakes too. Praise more than you criticise.

Have more fun together. Having fun together consolidates the sense that you enjoy being with each other.

Thank goodness for a new year to shake up our relationships before they go stale. There’s lots to do to keep you busy this year. Best you get moving.

Blog-tionary:

Dawn: the time of day when the sun rises/the beginning of something

Exempt: excepted/excused/not included

Take for granted: just accept that something is true without appreciating it

So as the New Year approaches, it’s time to reflect on our lives and that inevitably means it’s time to reflect on our relationships. I know that many people at this point in the year can OVER-reflect and end up ending a relationship but I would caution against that. Yes, this time of the year can make mostly hibernating emotions emerge and consequently make us rethink our lives, and I absolutely support that. Do as much or as little thinking about your life as you want. It can so often lead to good things; improvements, self-growth and progress. Make decisions about what you are going to do in the year BUT hold back on acting on those decisions until the excitement of the season and the emotional upheaval that so naturally occurs this time of year have settled down.

So often we make decisions and act on them when we are not in the right frame of mind and in the cold light of day we can suddenly regret them. If you still feel the same about those decisions on, say, the 14th of January, then go ahead and act!

If you are single and you don’t want to be single, you can either actively look for a partner or sit back and wait for him or her to make an appearance. So you can make use of dating websites, speed-dating, or other activities that have as a goal finding a partner. Or you can just put it out into the universe that you want someone and then wait for the universe to deliver.

Those are the two options we have, right? Well maybe there’s a third option. Maybe there is something in between the active and the passive routes. How about just getting active in your life and exposing yourself to more opportunities where you could meet someone with similar interests and values. If, for example, you join a sports club or society or start a hobby that you are interested, you are likely to meet like-minded people which could lead to a relationship. You can also say ‘yes’ to any invitations. You can never tell where any of these will lead.

The added advantage of this is that even if you don’t meet ‘the one’ or even ‘a one’, you will meet new friends, have fun and feel fulfilled. And who knows who they might introduce you to? In this way, you will not be actively looking but you also won’t be not looking.

Blog-tionary:

Like-minded: someone who thinks in the same way as you/has the same values and interests as you

I think one of the bravest decisions in the world is to leave a relationship that is not good for you. First of all, it takes an enormous amount of courage to acknowledge that the relationship is not good for you and to identify the ways in which it is not allowing you to grow in the right direction. Or the ways in which it is inhibiting any growth at all. Then it takes incredible strength to actually surrender to that decision to leave the relationship. A decision that will at least to some extent uproot your life, cause pain and loneliness and leave you feeling lost and sad for an indeterminate time.

And to make that decision and recognise that that is merely the beginning of an extended period of heartache is the most difficult and vital thing you can do for yourself. Once that period is over – and it will be over – you can reflect on your bravery and personal power and be proud and at peace.

People who make these decisions deserve respect, admiration and love. It’s not even necessarily about anyone being a bad person. Just two people who are bad together. It happens.

Blogtionary:

Acknowledge: accept that something is true/real

Inhibiting: limiting/restricting

To some extent: at least a little

Uproot: (literally to pull a plant out of the ground) to change a life a lot by making sudden changes

That is true Megan. Breaking up a relationship is so hard, because it works like an addiction! There are some ways in psychothrapy that learn us how we would be able to break up an useless relationship. Some of these methods are behavioral and others are cognitive.
I like your comment Megan!

That is true Megan. Breaking up a relationship is so hard, because it works like an addiction! There are some ways in psychothrapy that learn us how we would be able to break up an useless relationship. Some of these methods are behavioral and others are cognitive.
I like your comment Megan!

ehmm.. The bravest decisions in the world to leave someone that who ever filled your days with much sweet memories. The point here is not about leaving him or her. But the memory is like a thousand pins in heart. Even someday will have someone new and much better. Still it won't be the same like the previous relation.

ehmm.. The bravest decisions in the world to leave someone that who ever filled your days with much sweet memories. The point here is not about leaving him or her. But the memory is like a thousand pins in heart. Even someday will have someone new and much better. Still it won't be the same like the previous relation.

There is a song in English with the line, ‘Don’t go changing…’. In fact, there are many songs in English asking the person not to change. And I get it. It’s all very admirable. If you say these things to your partner what you are saying is that you love them just the way they are.

However, can we really suggest they never change? Isn’t change inevitable? If we are never changing, then surely we are stagnating? After all, we can always improve who we are. Ok maybe I’m overanalysing but it did make me think that we need to be understanding and flexible in our relationships. We should encourage positive change and make room for it in our relationships. If we accept that both of us will change over the course of the relationship (perhaps only in small, subtle ways), we are more likely to grow with the relationship. Assuming, of course, that the change is good for the person you care about.

I guess my point is that, getting into a relationship with someone and then getting upset or being disappointed because over time they have changed, is unrealistic. Stay close to your partner. Stay connected. Change together.

Blog-tionary:

Stagnating: staying the same for so long that you begin to decline/not improve or make progress

As men and women’s roles change in society, marriage is changing too. Men and women are getting married later and it is perfectly normal, acceptable and even often expected that a couple will get married (for the first time) in their thirties. To me this is a good sign. I feel that for too long, people have been getting married for all the wrong reasons. One of those wrong reasons is that the need to conform to societal expectations – the need to not be ‘left on the shelf’. Getting married in your thirties used to mean that you were at risk of being looked down on and pitied and people would sometimes therefore take whoever came along to avoid this.

But as it becomes more and more acceptable to have children even in your forties, and the societal mind shift that marriage is not necessarily the ultimate goal of anyone over 18, the urgency to get married early weakens. We are now allowed more time to think, to decide, to find the right person and not settle for Mr or Miss ‘good enough’ and since that can only end in an unhappy marriage in years to come, to me the time and space to make a good decision is welcome.

But this also leading to less birth rate and more sexual activities in teens. Un wellcomed child birth and under aged moms are also abecoming a big problem.
I think a man should marry at most 25 of age, it is the average age when you can also enjoy life and you find very little time to stray along your sexual natural desires. Man and girl have enough power to control their intentions at this age before going wrong.

Would you be ok with a friend of yours dating your ex? I did an informal survey on this and it turns out the results are a bit split. Interestingly, it seems that woman would be more against this than men. That got me thinking: would I be ok with it?

I guess it depends on a couple of things. Firstly, do I have still have feelings for this person? The relationship must have ended long enough ago that both of us have moved on. A lot. Also, did the relationship end particularly badly? Are we still on good terms? If my friend wants to date my ex, that means I’ll be seeing him more often. Can I handle that? Of course the average break up is never a fun, friendly affair, but now, a long time later, are we able to move past any hurt? Is it now obvious to us that the relationship wasn’t meant to be?

I think it would be extremely important, if you want to date your friend’s ex, to get permission from them first. Going behind their backs would amount to betrayal and possibly lead to all sorts of difficult situations. I know that exes are not our possessions, but having them back in our lives can make things awkward and hurtful if not done right.

Ultimately: be honest. Be sensitive. Be realistic.

Blogtionary

It turns out: to happen in a particular way – often a way that you didn’t expect

To be on good terms: to have a good relationship with someone/to not have any bad feelings towards someone

Hi!
The word " ex " tells me that person "does not exist anymore", that is, I don't care about anymore, even if " relationship end particularly badly ". If you " are still on good terms ", then you are friends and not anymore lovers, as I see things. Nobody has to get permission to do such a thing. Your ex is not your boyfriend or fiancée anymore. They are free to do as they desire. You couldn't stop it even if he was still your fiancée. People fall in love every day, it may happen. If they are happy together you should be happy for your friend then. If you can't stand seeing them together then you should tell that your friend, she will understand. Or, don't meet anymore your friend. If you really hate seeing them together, then, maybe you still care a bout him. Then, that is a different thing.
As you said " exes are not our possessions ". Not only, not even our lovers are our possession. We must accept that is all over. And, it could happen to meet him again in a different way, different situation. It could have been a neighbour, a collegue. It hurts only because we are talking about our friend maybe.
" I’ll be seeing him more often. Can I handle that? " - It depends on you only.

There is a quote in English that goes: ‘Absence lessens half-hearted passions and increases greater ones. As the wind blows out a candle, yet stirs up the fire.’ So then if we don’t really love someone who is far away, we forget them quickly and if we are away from our true love for a long time, we only love them more, right? Well, sort of right. I agree that if you really love someone, you miss them more each day. But let’s also be honest. A long distance relationship for too long does not work. If you are trying to maintain a relationship indefinitely, from far away, at some point, that person stops being a part of your everyday life. Once that happens, it’s easy to drift apart. It’s not a failing on either side, simple a natural human response.

Eventually, you will realize your needs aren’t being met and start to wonder what the difference is between your relationship and a pen-friend. I’m not suggesting that all long distance relationships are doomed to fail but I am suggesting that if you want to try and make a long distance relationship work, you need to approach it realistically and pragmatically. Then you may have a fighting chance.

Maybe right maybe wrong. That's depend on the way we see it. Everybody has their own perspective. In one side I do agree agree with you that a long distance relationship for too long does not work and eventually only leaves a pain in our heart, wasting time to think someone who is just an imagination, waiting without ending, feel worried and get broken heart. It's so bad... But in one side I'm not agree, for the true love will always keep fighting, to prove something impossible to be possible. Make the distance to be near. Keep believing that there is always a happy ending..Eventually LOVE shows its power....

Maybe right maybe wrong. That's depend on the way we see it. Everybody has their own perspective. In one side I do agree agree with you that a long distance relationship for too long does not work and eventually only leaves a pain in our heart, wasting time to think someone who is just an imagination, waiting without ending, feel worried and get broken heart. It's so bad... But in one side I'm not agree, for the true love will always keep fighting, to prove something impossible to be possible. Make the distance to be near. Keep believing that there is always a happy ending..Eventually LOVE shows its power....

Does anyone write love letters anymore? I’m guessing there aren’t many of the pen and paper kind around but maybe love letters have taken on new media. Of course, I guess it depends on how you define a love letter. Is an sms proclaiming your love for someone considered a love letter? Or is that just creepy? How about an email? Or a voice note? Maybe even a PowerPoint Presentation?

Surely someone, somewhere is still sending love letters in whatever form? Or is it a dying art? If so, isn’t it time we resurrected it? Admittedly they can be a little weird if unwelcome but done the right way and from the right person, love letters can be amazing affirmation of a relationship. Even and especially in a long-term relationship.

I must say, I am obviously a little old school, but there is something about a piece of paper that you can keep tucked away in a book or in your pocket that just feels so much more real. It’s tactile and personal. But then maybe I just need to join the 21st century.

Blog-tionary:

Proclaiming: announcing or stating publicly

Creepy: something a little scary and weird

Dying art: a practice/convention that fewer and fewer people are using

There is a famous prose poem called ‘Desiderata’ by Max Ehrmann which is full of wise advice and includes the line, ‘If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter’. I think this is especially true in relationships. It is so easy to compare what we have and how our relationships work with those of the people around us. But here’s the thing: we are different people. Comparing your relationship to that of another couple – no matter how similar you think you are – is really comparing apples with pears. Just not the same. Expecting to be able to create something similar with 2 people who are different is just setting you up for failure.

I think the answer is to think about your relationship from your own perspective. Stop worrying about everyone else and ask yourself, ‘Am I happy?’ If so, why change anything? If not, doing it someone else’s way will not make you happy. In that case, ask yourself, ‘what would make me happy?’

Anyway, for all you know, those people you are trying to imitate may very well be trying to imitate you. Don’t become vain and bitter. Just be you.

Hey...I'm new member here ..Talking about love is always interesting. I like making love letter and quotes. But I dunno know how to post here. I'm still learning how to use this page. The only one I do here just give comment to some posting here... hopefully I can post my love letter and my quotes soon...Have a great day for you....

Hey...I'm new member here ..Talking about love is always interesting. I like making love letter and quotes. But I dunno know how to post here. I'm still learning how to use this page. The only one I do here just give comment to some posting here... hopefully I can post my love letter and my quotes soon...Have a great day for you....

We are all so grateful when we find someone who can put up with our moods and crazy idiosyncrasies. I know I can be especially moody sometimes. My partner has learned to deal with this (ok, it doesn’t always come naturally – sometimes it takes work) and now knows that when I get like that, he must just let me be. At first he took it personally, and now he handles it like a pro.

So I have this thought. Maybe, when we meet someone who doesn’t ‘get’ us, it doesn’t mean that it’s a deal breaker. Maybe they just need a little time to learn about us. In the same way, it has taken me years to be ok with the fact that my partner goes quiet when something at work is stressing him out. It’s not me. And in fact asking if it is me, aggravates the problem until it actually does become me. I am glad we both put in the time and effort. And in a weird way I have enjoyed the challenge.

My point? If you really see potential in a relationship but have some issues, don’t necessarily give up. Two people can find a way to work together and enjoy it.

Blog-tionary:

Idiosyncrasies: The (often strange) little things that make us who we are.

Pro: Abbreviation of professional

Deal breaker: Something that means that you want to end the relationship/something that you will never put up with

When two people are in a relationship, it’s important to remember that TWO people are in the relationship. And two people cannot be expected to always have the same views and opinions of one person. So inevitably, friction, conflict and disagreements will occur. In fact if they don’t occur, then something is wrong with the relationship.

But how these issues are handled is vital and can determine the long-term success of the relationship. In a fight, try to stay in control of yourself. Avoid immature and abusive behaviour. You have a right to your feelings and a right to express them, but you need to give those feelings a voice in a constructive and not destructive way.

Always be aware of your intentions in an argument. Are you trying to be vindictive or do you really want to resolve an issue? If you need to win, then your relationship becomes a competition and your partner will have to lose in order for you to win. But this is not a competition. It’s a relationship – it’s a team effort.

Blogtionary:

Inevitably: it will certainly happen

Friction: when 2 things rub together and cause static electricity (when people disagree and get angry with each other)

When a relationship has come to an end, possibly because of a new love, there is often a desire for revenge. Have you ever taken revenge on someone? Or have you been a victim of revenge? How did you feel afterwards? Is it allowed? What do you think?

in every relation there a side) which is you have to be as sweet victim for your woman as lover, because every woman love to see her man like an lion to deal with others in the life , but when he be sit between her hand he has to be like a rabbit or teddy ....that is the real love as i read and i know from my experiences )
enjoy it )

in every relation there a side) which is you have to be as sweet victim for your woman as lover, because every woman love to see her man like an lion to deal with others in the life , but when he be sit between her hand he has to be like a rabbit or teddy ....that is the real love as i read and i know from my experiences )
enjoy it )

So you’ve been with your partner for long enough for all those fabulous feel-good chemicals to have worn off and now you love your partner but that mad desire has dwindled. First of all, it’s normal. Second of all, it’s important – we’d never get anything done if we were constantly wandering around filled with giddy romance. I sort of have this theory that those chemicals last as long as it takes for you to actually fall in love so that the love is there to pick up where the chemicals left off.

Anyway, however you look at it, the relationship changes over time. It can be good or bad depending on the relationship, the people involved and their intentions, desires and commitment. But even if it’s good, it still takes some adjusting to. Suddenly that cute thing he used to do is no longer obscured by your romance glasses. Suddenly it’s annoying.

Suddenly you’re not saying so many ‘me too!’s and differences are more exposed. But those differences can be amazing. They should be embraced. Not only do they add interest to the relationship, they help the other person to grow and develop. You have a choice here: get annoyed by the differences and move on, or embrace them and learn more about yourself and how you work in a relationship.

So much of the future of a relationship is up to you. Go on, enjoy the change!

After years of relationship experience I’ve realised one of the simplest ways of increasing harmony between the two people involved. I’m not saying I’m always very good at it and I’m not saying it’s always easy. But it is a simple concept.

Just be kind.

Something happens in a relationship where two people are involved long-term. We get comfortable (good), we get honest (good), we get mean (not good). As we relax and feel comfortable with our partner, we can forget that they are on our side and start to take out our frustrations on them. In a way it’s a kind of backhanded compliment: after all, you have to trust someone to be that ‘yourself’ with them.

But maybe it’s time to reflect. Would you treat your friends the same way? So why treat one of the people you love the most in the whole world without kindness and its consequential cousin, respect? And then expect them to be kind back? In the end, as the golden rule dictates: ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’

So, I repeat: just be kind.

Blogtionary:

A backhanded compliment: a compliment that seems to be a compliment but is also negative

First dates are an exciting and nerve-racking part of being in the dating world. Planning a first date can be a lot of pressure. If it has fallen to you to plan the first date, here are some ideas to help inspire you. Remember to think about the person you are going with and what they might like. Allow time for conversation but with a minor distraction to give you something to talk about and take all the focus off the pressure of maintaining that conversation.

The classic dinner and a movie combo is usually a reliable option.

How about bowling and maybe a slice of pizza? Friendly competition.

Or a hike – just be sure your date is the outdoorsy type

The theatre – a little classier and original than a movie and something to talk about at intermission

Play tourist in your own town – do all those things that usually only the tourists do

Or go to a music show, art gallery, the driving range or the aquarium.

So in a nutshell, something you think they would enjoy/are interested in which will give you a chance to get to know each other without the pressure of the focus being completely on your (hopefully) blossoming romance. Have fun!

The funny thing about our partner’s habits is that they seem so endearing in the beginning. It’s those little things that he/she does that makes them who they are and makes you love them. Then somewhere along the line – maybe just as a consequence of time, maybe a consequence of the initial excitement of the relationship wearing off – those exact habits become the very things that annoy you; the very things that cause arguments.

So how do we handle these? I guess there are at least three things to think about here: first, just remembering how much you used to love those little quirks can help ease your distress and annoyance. Second, relationships are all about communication: nice, diplomatic, kind communication. If something annoys you that much, isn’t it worth asking your partner to stop or do something different? Assuming it’s possible and/or reasonable? Very often, people don’t realise something they do is annoying and can mitigate it to an extent if asked. And thirdly, never ever forget that you too have habits and quirks that might annoy your partner. Nobody is perfect. And we wouldn’t want anyone to be perfect either.

Yes Megan! I think every one should Identify his/her shorcomings or bad habits. If he/she can change them so he/she should do that. If not she/he should accept them. It is just true about his/her partner too.
We have to accept that our partner has some bad habits that are not easy to change!

Very nice, I think nobody's perfect. just we should try as you said...
“People are good or half good or a quarter good, and it changes all the time- but even on the best day nobody's perfect.”
- Colum McCann, Let the Great World Spin

At a conference of sociologists in America in 1977, love was defined as "the cognitive-affective state characterized by intrusive and obsessive fantasizing concerning reciprocity of amorant feelings by the object of the amorance."

The only thing I get from that is that I don’t understand it. Just like I don’t fully understand love. And why should I? I know for centuries, people have been trying to define love, but why? How will having a definition enhance our experience of it? In fact, it might do the opposite. Do we need to be able to define, categorise or otherwise label and classify it? Isn’t the appeal of love, the mystery of it? And the personal experience of it? How you experience love may be very different to how I experience it but we can agree that it is a great experience – and we may be able to compare stories. But would you be able to tell me exactly what it is? Me neither. And that’s ok. It’s a common understanding that connects us as humans. Trying to put it in a box removes the aesthetic and injects and anaesthetic

It’s just love. And when I use that word, you know what I mean. That’s enough.

love is something that we can't touch or see as an object ; it's feeling which could feel deep inside us towards someone by whom our feelings got caputred by what is called THE APPEALING OF LOVE,,,,,,Love could be remarkable experience or painful one and the two sides have only descion what to be regardless the circumstances they are going through,,,,,the strength of love can defeat any obstacle around,,,,,,,