Posted Dec 30, 2014

There are as many kinds of Sugar arrangements as there are couples in the lifestyle. With 4 million members (and growing) on SeekingArrangement, that’s a lot of different dating scenarios! Some Sugar Daddies are married, some are single. Some Sugar Babies are looking for companionship and acceptance as much as any financial largesse, and others just want someone to take care of their bills in exchange for intimacy and friendship.

Much like actual babies, come to think of it.

Thus, there are Sugar dating situations in which it’s perfectly normal for a Sugar Daddy to bring his Baby home to meet his family. There’s no particular age one must be in order to be considered a Sugar Daddy, since it’s generosity and resources that matter. So it’s entirely possible that a relatively young Daddy could bring his special Sugar someone home to meet his parents and other family members who want to be introduced to his new companion.

Even if the Sugar Daddy is of more traditional age, meeting his children and other important people in his life may be something the Sugar Baby is expected to do. Close-minded people may not approve of or even understand their arrangement, but if the Daddy wants to bring his Baby to meet the fam, the Baby can probably expect them to be well-disposed toward her.

That said, what can a Sugar Baby, the special woman who fills a real role in a Daddy’s life, do to make sure that the meet-and-greet is a happy one? For our purposes, let’s say that the family is having a home-cooked meal to welcome the Sugar Baby. Here are three suggestions for what a young lady can do at this kind of gathering to make a good impression on the other important people in her Daddy’s life.

1. Zero In On Grandpa

As an average man gets older (but not rich), he does not become unattractive to attractive young women. He becomes invisible. While a Sugar Daddy has wealth and probably influence to boot, his father or even grandfather might not have been as lucky (or perhaps hard-working and educated). So young ladies pay them no mind, and they certainly don’t act flirty with them.

“Can I get a Big Mac … and, if it’s not too forward, your mailing address?”

Although this does make sense (we all seek out people who we consider relevant to our own goals and lives, not to mention worth procreating with), it can leave an old guy feeling sad and neglected.

Enter the Sugar Baby! You need to find where Gramps is and start giving him nice (but not overly fawning) attention. Talk to him and try to make him laugh. Touch him on the shoulder or the knee. Make him feel like a million bucks. But most importantly: make sure the family sees you doing it. Everyone will love you for it.

2. Don’t Eat Like A Supermodel

At most family dinners to meet a new belle—that’s you, and you’re legit no matter how you and your gentleman met—a nice meal is prepared, perhaps by the females of the house or by everybody lending a hand. So the last thing you want to do is refuse to eat anything (or take nibbles smaller than that of the average housefly) and tell the gathering that you care more about your figure than about your beau or his family.

On the other hand, you don’t want to stuff your face so full that your nice black dress looks like a maternity outfit. And you certainly want to avoid making the family (or your Daddy) think you belong in front of a trough. Is there a happy medium between starving/insulting and overeating/disgusting?

Some dishes stand no chance of making you overeat.

You bet there is. Sample a bit from each dish (if it’s a pass-around), and be sure you say something nice about how the dish looks or smells. (Vary your comments a bit in content and timing: exclaiming “What a wonderful [X]!” every time as a dish is passed to you will look rehearsed and suspicious.) Then, when you take a bite, even if it’s just one, make a nummy sound either to your Daddy, to the cook, or to the room in general. Your appreciation has been registered even if you don’t eat another bite. Everyone will love you for it.

3. Hug Everyone

Your Sugar Daddy could come from most any walk of life. He could have been raised in a wealthy home or he could be an entirely self-made man when it comes to finances. He could be a complete WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant; think country clubs and Martha’s Vineyard) or his family could literally have gotten off the boat from Ethnic Albania when he was a baby. No matter what his family’s background or current living situation, you should hug every man, woman, and child at the get-together at some point during the evening.

Does that sound weird? It shouldn’t. Remember giving Grandpa a little attention, back up there in suggestion number 1? This is like a diluted version of that. A nice embrace of well-wishers when you walk in, finish a conversation, thank cooks and servers for the dinner, and when you’re leaving will do wonders for your first impression. The family will believe that your Sugar Daddy has found a keeper who makes him happy, because you made them feel happy.

And everyone will love you for it.

This is either three cats hugging or it’s two police cats boxing in a fugitive.

@raesofsunshinygoddess

One more thing…

Your screen name is similar to that of an earlier blog persona. Just something to consider.

@Raesofsunshinygoddess

Re: profile help and other randomness

Most have moved to the newest blog post. Try posting your request here. Apparently older posts are only for the unrulies…and the naughty. Though apparently there are body bags and little people being thrown about the newer blog.

I have recently begun stretching exercises so that I may enjoy peanut butter in more places. Who needs a dog, right?

@SirMix

Thank you for your kind words, sir ;). You’re a riot to play with…I enjoy it. Still working on the cast for The Allegory of the Sugar Cave. Scarlett will have the final say on finger vs string puppets. Gonna be a challenge to squeeze everyone in.

Japanese rain goggles…interesting back story. Still trying to imagine the most effective positioning. This birthday gift will set the bar for all birthday gifts to come. Gonna buy some extra long lashes made of cat hair. Hope they stay on straight.

RookieSDsays:

Guess the newer blog shut down for bad behavior?

Raesofsunshineygoodnesssays:

Colourism does exist in the Caribbean, btw. If that fact has not already been verified. And, it is alive and kicking every more-than-paperbrown in the…Anywho. That was my addition to this discussion (perhaps a bit late). I was hoping I could benefit from some insight, too. Would anyone be so kind as to revise mine? I’m just starting this sugar business and while quite smart, I have no idea what i’m doing. XD

@yougots (I think I was banned on the other blog . . 405?) Once again, astonished at your level of reciprocity, always dignified yet with a dash of (tasteful) trash lmao . . still trying to stitch up my right side split from your little “cavernous holes and finger puppets” sketch. Technically, the rain goggles were introduced and held for a short while within the realm of fiction thanks to Charlie Shween and I’m pretty sure it was intended that they would remain there without codification until whoever urban dic’d up something to fill the gap. I’ve never actually known there to be a formal protocol for the administration of these goggles but your rendition would be fun to try. Probably some place with an insurance rider for flooding then eh? And it’s OK, you can still like dogs even if you never own one or know the pleasure of having your face licked.

@dollface

Inadvertent as it may have been, I think your post falls perfectly in place here. Most dont revisit older blog threads, so it’s quite possible that you will never see this comment. I only happened here because SirMixALittle’s karate broke the other blog topic. I just want to say that you seem like a lovely, intelligent lady, well adjusted despite your challenges and disappointments. You seem to have a warm spirit, and a good head on your shoulders. Youre on your way to a bright future, so keep at it, lady :).

Anyways… I’m glad I did comment because what I did have to say did offer a great deal of insight especially regarding @Josh’s comments.

Enjoy your evening everyone!

He actually tried to make me break up with him because he didn’t want to do it. Although each time we’d try to break up he’d grab me and hug me.

So that was a very painful experience I went through. I was young and I remember not feeling good enough, or feeling like a part of me was dirty. I felt HORRIBLE, because if it weren’t for the color of my skin his brother wouldn’t have been so intolerant of the relationship. Now with all this being said some may say “Oh he’s pussy” “He’s a wimp” or “He didn’t really care about you that much if he let his brother get in the way” BUT those are all western thoughts. It doesn’t work like that in other cultures. In Korean culture as well as many other cultures you NEED to listen to your older sibling otherwise it’s like the utmost disrespect. Since they were going to school in a different country (Canada) His brother would basically father his decisions, Funny thing is their mother didn’t mind that her son was dating a black girl. She told him that if he got good grades she could care less. However him and his brother were very close and as they say blood is thicker then water so he’s not a bad person at all for choosing family.

It was so adorable too because on the last day of school my friends and I went around and had people sign our yearbooks. I asked him to sign mine and he looked at me shocked but happy and was like”ME?” I was like yes “YOU” so he took my yearbook and sat in a corner for like 20 minutes but when I read it he actually didn’t put more then two sentences. I found it better that way because we already had closure and I appreciated that he didn’t leave painful memories.

@Josh so like I said, please think of the bigger picture before you say certain things. I mean I’m not trying to control you or anything but I thought you maybe needed some insight. I’m only 19 but I certainly don’t go around accusing people of being unfair to me because of my race. I go on personal experience, not acquired knowledge of other people’s misfortunes or “disadvantages” because of race.

I also have more experiences but that was a very personal one to me which is why I chose to use that one.

I think people in this world need a little something called EMPATHY. I’m not attacking anyone because of who they prefer to date and who they won’t. Everyone has a choice. Some people won’t date Asian, or Middle Eastern but that doesn’t mean they are racist. HOWEVER being in Alabama I think it would be more of a race issue and I have a story with an ex potential sugar daddy ( who actually did give me some sugar) but he was always worried about race and “Does your mother know you’d be dating an older white male” I said yes and he goes… “She knows I’m WHITE!”

Gosh, but I never accused him of being a racist. He was so sweet to me. He just cared too much what people would think if they say us together.

That is where my personal concern about sugar dating came from.

@Josh Unless you are black you would not and will not understand, and unless you really want to see things from someone else’s perspective you still won’t understand. In order to truly gain understanding you would need to leave the tunnel vision behind you.

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” spoken by Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

Also there is a Native American proverb that talks about needing to walk in someone else’s shoes in order to understand them and that’s true.

Also I’m not pulling the “black card” that is a very ignorant thing to insinuate. In Canada when I was in High School I was dating this Korean guy. We completely adored each other. His older brother was not happy with us getting close. (I was in the gym with him one day when him and I were talking. We both went to a boarding school and the gym was where students hung out after dinner.) Anyways he looked at me and said “I really like you” I told him I really liked him too. (This was before we started dating.) He hung his head down and told me that his brother didn’t want us to date and that he hated the idea. I told him it was okay we could stay friends. He said “No, I don’t care what he say’s I’m still going to date you anyways”.

So yes we started dating and he was the sweetest and most caring guy I have ever dated. After weeks and weeks of his brother SHOVING me in the hallways and giving me dirty looks trying to intimidate me… his own brother threw a punch at him! He was furious that his younger brother was dating a BLACK girl. He said he shouldn’t date black and that he could date a white girl with blonde hair, or preferably Asian but NOT black. It didn’t matter that I was mixed or pretty. He said that he shouldn’t be dating black. So we decided to date secretly however his brother didn’t want us hanging out at all. So we had to break up for real. He was CRYING because it was a very hard thing for him to do but in order to respect his older brother and honor his wishes it had to be done. It hurt me immensely and I remember talking to him about it a few weeks after. After he walked away and we were done talking my brother was in the boys dorm and said he came in red faced with tears running down his face. So @Josh I wouldn’t expect you to understand but when you constantly hear “Oh you don’t act like a black girl” or “You’re an oreo” or “You talk like a white girl” you tend to be reminded that yes sweet heart race does seem to matter and there are so many stereotypes based on the color of skin.

@Josh No one is complaining that I can’t find “sugar” because trust me I have in the past, and I’m talking to a few potentials right now. I was only asking if it was going to be harder given my new location because in Toronto it was 10x easier. First and foremost I am not intimidated by a little bit of a challenge. I just wanted to know what to expect. I’m here in the states I don’t really have people to talk to about this so I came here. Yes race is a very sensitive subject especially in America. If a woman wants to consider herself exotic maybe it’s because she see’s herself as such. Maybe she does have something else to offer cultural wise. You don’t know everyone’s story. Just because she may be black doesn’t mean she didn’t grow up being proud of her Haitian background/Culture or Ethiopian, and whatever else. As I mentioned I’m Caribbean and Brazilian mixed. I have other races in my background as well (West Indian) but who really cares right? If I look black I’m black. That’s what it is in America. However I do consider myself exotic on occasion because I am. I’m a unique mix (at least here) and I’m also proud of who I am. Maybe that’s the case with the other females? Why does it bother you? So a female from Argentina couldn’t call herself exotic unless she actually immigrated from Argentina?

@ATLSD Yes I was wandering about that. I guess I’ll need two SD’s then ( which I was trying to avoid). You’re right about my expectations being a bit high. When I first came here I actually did find a SD. He had just moved here too and we had agreed on a lower “allowance” because mine was too high. He had kids and wasn’t a millionaire so I was being understanding. So we settled on something. It was going to be platonic meaning no sex. However after seeing him the third time he got way too clingy and obsessive. He was texting me all the time. Texting me “Hello are you there” after not replying in 5-10 mins. He wouldn’t take no for an answer when he wanted to see me all the time. Gosh it was more then that but he scared me! So now the search is all over again.

I will follow your advice! My profile will be new and improved soon. I’ll come back and ask for feedback on that too. Thanks again for the support!

@Struggle: Thanks for the input! I will definitely be using the advice. I wouldn’t want pot SD’s to get the wrong impression. Thank you!

@ONSD I’m not sure if you were referring to me as “race swapper.” I hardly look Asian. Different angles do different things for your face. Anyways I’m not sure if you were talking about me so moving on. Thank you for the compliment about my profile.

@Lainey Haha, well thank you! Cute isn’t really what I’m going for but I think “sexy” is a little too hard right now. Apparently I look “innocent”.

@Xero Yes this place is more race cautious I realized. It’s annoying but it’s a reality. Also these Alabama born and raised pot SD’s are older. They were definitely around during the more racist days. I guess I should keep that in mind.

@Kenna Thank you for the positive words!

@ATLSD Yes I was wandering about that. I guess I’ll need two SD’s then ( which I was trying to avoid). You’re right about my expectations being a bit high. When I first came here I actually did find a SD. He had just moved here too and we had agreed on a lower “allowance” because mine was too high. He had kids and wasn’t a millionaire so I was being understanding. So we settled on something. It was going to be platonic meaning no sex. However after seeing him the third time he got way too clingy and obsessive. He was texting me all the time. Texting me “Hello are you there” after not replying in 5-10 mins. He wouldn’t take no for an answer when he wanted to see me all the time. Gosh it was more then that but he scared me! So now the search is all over again.

I will follow your advice! My profile will be new and improved soon. I’ll come back and ask for feedback on that too. Thanks again for the support!

@Struggle: Thanks for the input! I will definitely be using the advice. I wouldn’t want pot SD’s to get the wrong impression. Thank you!

@ONSD I’m not sure if you were referring to me as “race swapper.” I hardly look Asian. Different angles do different things for your face. Anyways I’m not sure if you were talking about me so moving on. Thank you for the compliment about my profile.

@Lainey Haha, well thank you! Cute isn’t really what I’m going for but I think “sexy” is a little too hard right now. Apparently I look “innocent”.

@Xero Yes this place is more race cautious I realized. It’s annoying but it’s a reality. Also these Alabama born and raised pot SD’s are older. They were definitely around during the more racist days. I guess I should keep that in mind.

Thank god this is over.

THEATLSDsays:

New blog. See ya over there

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@Josh I will humor your hilarious comments with a response.

I am pretty sure that I speak for most sugar daddies. I would like a fun time with a great sugar baby, along with a good connection.

I have found that several times this year. It’s been a blast. The new sb is no exception. This could be because I am a younger
sd, I screen well, or I have a good attitude about sugar. I really am having a great time.

So let’s settle down with all of these personal feuds with everyone. Struggle and SexyRockstar have seen my pictures and pictures of my girls. Blog gods please give josh my email. Thanks.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Sheryl
Whoops. Scratch that!
Just realized you directed that question to the SDs.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Sheryl
Think about who you are marketing to. It honestly depends on what kind of guy you are trying to attract, and the perception of your photos is also either reinforced by or confused by your profile text.

The obvious answer is just show what you look like in decent lighting. Wear something nice, do your hair and makeup (but don’t go overboard) and natural sunlight is usually best.

If you want advice about your photos specifically feel free to post your profile ID and I’m sure several of the nice folks here will give your their two cents.

Alright I’ve got a question for our SDs. I feel like there is a big debate of what type of photos one should post on their SA profile. What are the top three photos a SB should have on their profile?

Joshsays:

*OK you geriatric studman you?

Joshsays:

Just to make sure…only the bloggers who find you boring don’t have anything better to do with their lives.

The ones who don’t tell you that you are as boringest as eating certain undesirable vegetables are to be spared from the accusation of not having anything better to do with their lives. OK you studman you?

Don’t forget the ability to periodically accuse some bloggers that they don’t have anything better to do with their lives as the SB gives you the aura of doing something better in yours. 😉

Laineysays:

So now he has a video of me snoring. Great! Now that plus my sex tape and I’ll be famous in NO TIME!

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@Struggle. Thanks. I am very optimistic about this one for a number of reasons. She has an energetic and fun personality. There are some other things too. Let’s just say that we are both ending each date very satisfied.

SexyRockstarsays:

Iggy?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@ygbkm
I just realized one of my earlier posts had a typo and it made me think of you. I said something regarding vibrators and “getting jiffy with yourself”. (Was meant to be “jiggy” lol) So I immediately started thinking about peanut butter in illicit ways. Hahahaa

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Midwest
Good points made in your post and thanks for your input. I wish the wives would not only put out, but enjoy it. But they aren’t, so I’m happy that you good men are getting some with quality SBs. You deserve it. Sex is good. Great sex is awesome.

@Kenna
Oh boy now SD is sick. It has really been a crummy season for all (well, most) with health.

@LadyS
Hahaha I tricked a POT similarly with a pic of my dog when he asked for pics! He’s still talking to me so I guess he found my dog attractive! Hahaha

Joshsays:

“How even sense make this does any?”

sense makes a lot of it.

Joshsays:

I am going to bed now…Tomorrow, if (actually “when”) I have absolutely nothing to do with my life, while some others are enjoying supreme most super duper quality time with their respective imaginary SBs, I will try to give you an example of claim of comprehending the incomprehensible, right from the blog.

What happens is that one woman would “communicate” some gobbledygook. The others will claim to have understood that without really comprehending it, and will defend the “communicator” from unfair men who don’t understand “intricate” stuff. 😉

“2. But you went ahead, as any breathing woman would, turned it around and asserted that the avatar is interfering with my reading comprehension of what’s written, as the style was maintain from before the avatar was introduce.”

Comprehension has to do with far more than reading the words written on a screen.

Joshsays:

@y Why do you ass-u-me that I am not? 😉

You should’ve been a lawyer, babe.

Joshsays:

@y

“Couplefew things…

What I think I hear you saying is that my chunky avatar with airbag sized breasts makes you uncomfortable, and hampers your ability to comprehend my posts without discounting my comments as words of a fat, unworthy, nonsensical rambler.”

This is where cause and effect are playing the cat and mouse game with each other…

1. I asserted that because of the new avatar, which you acknowledge was introduced as satire, you have turned up the volume on incomprehensible satire.

2. But you went ahead, as any breathing woman would, turned it around and asserted that the avatar is interfering with my reading comprehension of what’s written, as the style was maintain from before the avatar was introduce.

Now…

If we ass-u-me that 1 is correct, then that was the original reason for the request.

If we ass-u-me that 2 is correct, then if I were the writer in question, I may consider removing the distraction to help facilitate proper comprehension of what was written.

If we ass-u-me that both 1 and 2 are correct, then there “may” be twice the reasons to do away with the avatar.

Hehe, Josh, I have only done that a couple times, but only to the really offensive guys, who asked for not so nice pictures….it wouldn’t be the first time I was called a crazy old bat 😉

It’s okay, yougottabe…xx

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@Kenna Thanks. It’s early, but things are definitely going well. I’m happy and she’s happy, too. The sex has been really good. Great sexual chemistry is way underrated. Sexual chemistry is often hard to find in sugar and in real life.

Ladyscarlettsays:

“KennaKenna says:
January 6, 2015 at 7:48 pm
@Lady

I think he picked up this flu somewhere else, at least that’s what I’m saying and sticking to it lol..

I am still coughing a bit but feeling so much better, I’m also hoping that he got what I had/have so I don’t get sick again.

But yes, needy, Needy, NEEDY! Hehe”

They will milk that sick thing a little, too 😉 But, flu is bad this year, so I hear on here…I was really really sick twice this summer, with bad colds/flu, but not this winter–yet…shouldn’t have typed that…

So glad you are feeling better, Kenna…pneumonia is no joke.

Struggles and Kenna, if feeling extra run down still, you might want to try the vitamin B shots, or vitamin C drip/IV, at natural health clinic? They often can give them to you in regular spas(the Vit B shot, anyways)and they really work!

Along that note…

Re: Scarlett and Erik

After reading over my earlier post, I just want to clarify that I do not find her response to him parallel to his behavior, and can verify much of what she’s said as I’ve seen the emails. I appreciate much of what Scarlet shares here, and have enjoyed her engagements. I also think that Erik shares interesting perspective but just wish that he could do so without being so overbearing and toxic.

Joshsays:

@Ladyscarlett

“if am feeling like messing with them, then I tell them that ‘I am getting an extra special naughty pic for them, just a sec’, then take a picture of my doggie’s butt. Since men can be dogs, then send them doggie tail ;)”

I think that would into the “crazy” category, not “bat shit crazy”?

Ladyscarlettsays:

“Couplefew things…

What I think I hear you saying is that my chunky avatar with airbag sized breasts makes you uncomfortable, and hampers your ability to comprehend my posts without discounting my comments as words of a fat, unworthy, nonsensical rambler.”

Hehe, that was funny…

Struggles, speaking of dogs and cats…if anyone ever gets the annoying pic collectors, on SA, that we all occasionally do, if am feeling like messing with them, then I tell them that ‘I am getting an extra special naughty pic for them, just a sec’, then take a picture of my doggie’s butt. Since men can be
dogs, then send them doggie tail 😉

I am still coughing a bit but feeling so much better, I’m also hoping that he got what I had/have so I don’t get sick again.

But yes, needy, Needy, NEEDY! Hehe

Midwestsugardaddysays:

As a married sd, I feel the need to comment on the perspective of a guy in a sex deprived situation.

I found this site after exploring online. The fact that I had sex a couple of times a month was not good enough for me. Plus, the sex itself was not as fun as it used to be. I talked and tried the therapy route. Medical tests were ran on various systems. The culprit was listed as peri menopause. This label did not help things. It merely gave an excuse for her to have even less sex.

I decided to go the sugar route. In the past year, I’ve had two short term relationships and one long term relationship. I also met with a lot of cool girls during my searches. It’s been a lot of fun. I would rather do this than get emotionally involved in some crazy office fling at work. I don’t think I should lose 60% of my income due my wife shutting it down. She seems happier now. I still have sex with my wide, but I’m having so much with my sugar baby, it’s no longer a major issue.

I would drop sugar in a New York minute if I had sex with my fit, attractive wife 2 times a week. But since that is not going to happen, I’ve got an awesome sugar baby. We have both been having a ton of fun. I have moved to an allowance for her. She’s been extremely appreciative, which is really important.

I had an opportunity for another girl, but I went with the one I liked better. Both were attractive, but I am happy with my choice, for now.

“Most men are needy in bed…sick or otherwise ;)”

Naughty, naughty!

“Josh says:
January 6, 2015 at 3:05 pm
@y

You used to write interesting comments…BUT…

Ever since you adopted this enormous avatar, your comments oscillate between some incomprehensible satire, and incomprehensible long-ass commentary on whatever.

Guruthinks that the phenomenon coincides with the avatar, I suggest that you either change the avatar or get rid of it altogether. That may help you regain your past style of writing.

Thank you for your kind consideration of Guru’s request.”

Dearest Guru, my all-knowing love…

My avatar may have some affect on my writing, but it might also be my waning tolerance for the idiocy running amuck here.

I do live in a pretty colorful, progressive world outside of this space, and I’m sorry that my writings aren’t always comprehensible to the sometimes rigid parameters of your thinking. ygbkm thinks the phenomenon coincides with that AJ is sometimes your only connection to the outside world. (I hope those aren’t fighting words.)

Couplefew things…

What I think I hear you saying is that my chunky avatar with airbag sized breasts makes you uncomfortable, and hampers your ability to comprehend my posts without discounting my comments as words of a fat, unworthy, nonsensical rambler.

Here’s the thing…

Aside from that I’m not really interested in sharing identifiable descriptors on this open forum, I also don’t care if my image or lack there of is one that elicits erections or not. I can appreciate that it might be hard to take me seriously, or create a pictorial story with me in mind. It’s kind of a mind fuck I find quite hilarious, actually–perhaps to your dismay. Perhaps my writing would be different if I posted my own photo or one more sexually appealing to the masses. Perhaps my lovely, yielding and graceful nature would be more evident, and perhaps land me in the top five list. Oh the possibility!

The blogosphere rocks my world to a large degree. I try to share within, understand and apply what I learn here as I find fit for my own growth. I would hope the same would apply to everyone. I do have a hard time with the space sometimes, but tend to prefer being objective and honest (mostly diplomatically, sometimes satirically, and now and then–though not my preference–harshly) to upholding some image of physical or idealized appeal. I don’t mind throwing myself under the bus to bring understanding to someone, or perhaps maybe even a bit of comedic relief. I don’t care much. When I walk into a room, strangers welcome, embrace, desire, and are drawn to me. I exude life, grace, sensuality and whimsy, and people love me and find me beautiful and enchanting where ever I go, sometimes to an overwhelming degree. Quite humble I am despite that I woke up like this. I don’t need approval through a photo on an anonymous blog to validate that for me, nor to frame or qualify the worth or sensibility of my posts here.

That said…

I was going to change my avatar the other day, but I don’t remember the site I used to create it (can I use another site?), and it’s really not all that important to me anyway, so I’m in no real hurry :).

Your request is noted and considered.
Perhaps a different picture might set a different tone. Perhaps later.

@Sexy

I edited your profile. You should be good to go. 😉

Joshsays:

@Eloquence

Maybe the Epsom salt bath would help?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Eloquence
So sorry! The crud has been an absolute bitch this year. Literally hit epidemic proportions. I really do hope you get to feeling better. My head still hurts and I am still fatigued from the flu from over a week ago! Has not been fun.

’tis time for new article for those who have nothing better to do in their lives except write on this obscure blog, of all things.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Erik
Very true. I am of the dog group but I am not a man. I am a dog-trainer so… maybe that’s how I am different.

And I think you just gave the rest of the blog a collective shudder, as you probably had them thinking that bringing up dog-talk would morph this sugar blog back into the Cesar Milan blog that I accidentally changed it into the other day. 😀
I’ll spare you guys. Haha
(@LadyS and I now email our dog thoughts in consideration of y’all. LoL)

The above comment is strictly limited to men-women “romantish” interactions.

Outside of that realm men as well as women could pretty much be anything the wish to be.

“Eloquence says:
January 6, 2015 at 3:13 pm
@ygb

You did not finish…What happened?”

Just what Southern outlined here:

“SouthernSB says:
January 6, 2015 at 2:46 pm
@Addicted-You need to dump her. These relationships never last and in the end you will end up without the wife and without the SB. What you have is a toxic relationship. It’s one of those really passionate and (yeah, I’m going to say it) addictive things. You and the SB are going to love passionately, have sex passionately, and in the end fight passionately. In the meantime you will get less and less interested in your wife, and don’t think she won’t notice, because she will, and then the wife will get resentful and then all hell will break loose.”

Almost just like that, actually. There was a point when we both made an effort to refrain from intimacy because he was going to pursue things seriously with a girl he was dating even though he felt that being with me was an exemption to whatever moral code because he felt connected to me. “We can’t help it that we love each other,” he once said. We would’ve been perfect for each other at a different point in life, I think. Or perhaps we could’ve been then, but I was too stubborn or reluctant to follow his lead. I loved him tremendously, and was very much seduced my his dominance, but was afraid of marriage maybe. It was my first dance with dominance and submission in being with a true alpha man, and he was mostly benevolent in his role.

It was electrifying, and created so much sexually energy between us that we never would make it home before getting sexy. When things got more serious with the girl he was dating, we became friends for some time, and I tried to support his relationship with her. It worked for some time, but in the end she dumped him, he resented me, and we never did rebuild a relationship. It ended quite nastily.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Josh
As long as we are equal opportunity insulters. lol 😉

ErikTheRedsays:

If the difference among men is like that among different breeds of dogs, the difference between men and women is like that between dogs and cats, and the difference among women akin to the difference among different breeds of cats. Dogs have more variation than cats. The difference between the two species is much greater than the difference among breeds. Put them in pet terms 😉

Everyone has his or her own agenda in real life, but the blog is more for exchange of ideas.

@Eloquence
Fair enough.

@Josh
Omg. That does make me wanna pull up my mud pics. Maybe I’ll have to dig them up and save for next gravi.

@Sexy I wanna see the new profile!

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Erik
Of course women and men are very different. But so is every situation and every man and woman. Yes we can use statistics to generalize but I would also note that most of the people communicating here on the blog are different/special sort. I believe we all think outside of the box a bit. This leads me to believe that if one thinks outside if the box in one way, he/she probably does in other aspects as well.
Here, many people have been very forthcoming and frank about something that is very important to them: their endeavors in love and lust.
I value this input and also the discussion surrounding it. I value all the opinions so long as they are not degrading or obviously aimed with an agenda.

Joshsays:

@Eloquence

Are you confused by nature?

SexyRockstarsays:

Re: Magic Pussy in marriage

After reading what everyone is saying…OMG, what if I have a magic pussy? I wouldn’t say I distract him from his job or anything..but him and I do talk all the time. His wife has called him out about the amount of trips he takes to Chicago. Like, whats so wonderful about Chicago. He said he almost just wanted to come clean right then in there.

He also says she has made “I am going to leave” threats but never does. Apparently, it’s better for both of them to stay and be miserable vs apart. They have kids. She also has kids from a past relationship, so he feels like doing that to them again would be a bit rough.

WTF did I get myself into? Oh yeah, I am in love with a married man. Maybe I should stop sprinkling fairy dust on my pussy :/

Eloquencesays:

@ struggles

I’m not a mocker by nature and have no intention to become one lest I be mocked. I have professed a genuine insight to build others up when situations or for example a lack of sex from a sexual partner can have the unfortunate capacity to break another down. In no intention or thought process do I fInd it humorous to see someone lack in their life sexual and in every day life.

“Some of the very ones I have vehemently sparred with here have come through and shown me other sides to them as well that I can really identify with.”

No one has “vehemently sparred” with you yet sweetheart. You are too cute to spar “vehemently” with. 😉

ErikTheRedsays:

@Struggle,

Please do not caste doubt on your dad due to what I wrote earlier. Men and women are biomechanically very different. The two sides are not at all interchangeable when it comes to sex and sexual relationships.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Eloquence
Perhaps I misunderstood. Your point was not entirely unfounded but I was simply being empathetic, assuming I were in the shoes of someone who had a partner who was not particularly sexual with me. These men here have out great effort into their relationships. It bothers me to assume that because my dad has low libido (from what, we do not know) that he must be going outside of the relationship.
So I simply put the shoe on the other foot.

I felt that your post was mocking and while perhaps others utilize such tactics, it doesn’t mean we all must.

Some of the very ones I have vehemently sparred with here have come through and shown me other sides to them as well that I can really identify with.

“in the days of fantasy writing.”

Now you are acknowledging. 😉

SexyRockstarsays:

I kind of want another profile cirque. Joshy…you down?

ErikTheRedsays:

“Sex refusal” meant women refusing to put out for men in the relationship. There are myriads reasons from medical to emotional to physical that men may not be able to perform. That’s why there is a huge business selling ED drugs and testosterone replacement therapies. When it comes to sex, men actually have to do the work. Whereas for women, her enthusiastic participation and skills certainly make the encounter more enjoyable for both, but even just her baseline “being there” performance is “good enough” for most men. So her refusal usually means one thing: “You are not good enough for my pussy!” An empowered woman can have myriads of ways arriving at that conclusion, and she promptly goes about rectifying that problem with some “worthy” Tom, Dick or Harry.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Josh
Re:
My dad’s libido (lol)

Correct. However, couldn’t one say the same for the fellas here who have women who have “low/no libido”? That was the point. Sometimes people to chance upon these circumstances and while I still maintain that one should consider that perhaps the significant other could be going outside of the marriage to fulfill libido, it is unfair to assert that it is probably or even definite that they are.

My words were not written eloquently as I once chose to do so in blog, where I set and created the scene to the best of my ability in the form of speech that I prefer, mind you. So with that in mind, if comments come across crass… Do you realize how many times many of you have offend others on the blog and it mattered not whom they were or whom was reading? even in your insinuations? I am not here to start a fight or a battle, however, I eventually laugh and stop reading because of the insanity of how everyone is not the happy group you once were in the days of fantasy writing. Does it still continue….. not the way it once was, very unfortunate. With such, I bow out with grace to continue my librarian chronology postion.

“I would bet everything that my dad is not going outside of the marriage for sex.”

Didn’t you say that he had low libido?

It does not make logical sense that he would go outside of marriage to “satisfy his low libido.” 😉

Eloquencesays:

@ struggle

That’s my point. My tone was not disrespectful, nor did I have a “tone”. The only tone per say is the one who fives light to it as they read and listen to the voice that reflects their own perceived opinion. Mine

However, women’s advice to women to butt off could come in handy. 😉

“ErikTheRed says:

Be nice.”

[crickets]

StruggleIsRealsays:

**I guess why this feels important for me to address is because I would bet everything that my dad is not going outside of the marriage for sex. I am extremely close with both he and my mom and I am very much abreast of his goings-on. I pick things up sometimes before they happen. I have never had any inkling that he has, and my mom (who is my venting buddy) has never alluded to him having gone outside of the marriage or that she even wonders if he has.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Eloquence

From what I understand, and while this is not my personal experience at all (however I cannot pretend to relate with many stages of life and medical conditions), a great many women abandon sex. My own mother talks to me (now) about my dad’s very low libido. She would in fact like him to get checked out. She has attended his “checklist” as we have discussed earlier on the blog, and as she met each check, nothing changed. I know my dad loves her. He expresses this in in his own ways. I believe there could be familial issues that come into play.
They have sex sometimes (this I have heard and know) but not nearly to the frequency that she would prefer. Neither of them have gone outside of the marriage. Trust me, I have literally been their mediator for as long as I can remember. Not a place a child should be, but they were young and didn’t know better.
He is too tied up with his own ego and such that he will not get checked for medical conditions. It makes me sad for them.

So I know that perhaps genetically I might possibly just have a pretty high sex drive. However, I would be ignorant to discount the many tales or women going sexless. I have person IRL friends who have been very much in love with their wives, gave them amazing orgasms almost all of the time, attended their women’s “lists”, and yet found no sexual resolution.

So please have a heart for those who are sticking it out with sexless marriage partners.
It is entirely unfair to assume that these men’s wives are seeing someone behind their backs. In any relationship, it is wise to consider that as a possibility, but to say that a woman (or man) not having regular sex with her husband is going outside of the marriage for sex elsewhere, is very unfair and destructive.

I am largely generalizing here, but I feel that women are biologically inclined to preserve the family unit. I would think that women cheat far less than men. I don’t have statistics like many here would, that is just my observation.

Anyhow, I don’t disagree with you entirely, but @Online is a friend of the blog and most of us here, and he loves his wife and desires her. If I was in Iove with someone and desired him, and someone stated what you did in the tone that you did, that would hurt me.
I do not virtually know @Addicted as well but he does appear to love his wife.

I dunno. I just say we all ought to be fostering good relationships in whatever form they may exist.

Joshsays:

ErikTheRedsays:

There are massive volumes written online on the “dead bedrooms” phenomenon.

ErikTheRedsays:

Be nice. Eloquence did not attack you, and she does have a point that in long term relationships, sex refusal usually means branch swinging. Although I never experienced sex refusal during my decade long marriage, among the relationships I had afterwards every instance of repeated sex refusal meant exactly that. Sometimes even refusal to perform certain specific act is due to that.

Don’t you miss the days when you wrote your convoluted posts and everyone praised you to be oh-so-“eloquent” without understanding a lick what you wrote? 😉

@ Josj

I hear you loud and clear in your insinuations. Do you hear me?

In no way, shape, or form have I insinuated a disrespectful tonr to either party or their wives who are involved here. What I do find is that irrigardless of what information is lacking or absent in blog comments, you in your own right make the same informed or un-informed ass-u-me (assumptions) of the same token.

You have ranted to high heaven on subjects and their matter which matters not nor could any case be relevant unless other’s included to prove such, yet you and I both know that will likely to none happen. So why try to fuel a fire where the wood is wet.

I made merely an observation in which you would of man. “well hey there bro, if your not getting any then you good an well know she has to be given it to someone else.” its rancid through the blog. If a SB chose to not give sex to a sugar daddy, would you not be the first one to scream “user”?

Again, It matters not to me what your thoughts are of my post or if anyone was offended by that which I spoke. If you were, kindly keep your googlie eyes moving and reading for the “the next big thing”.

Joshsays:

@Eloquence

“I absolutely want to barf. Your wife does not put out yet you insist on placing her on a pedastle because you do not want to tarnish her world crumbling. Lmao, seriously? I hate to break that world, but if your married and she is not having sex with you then you can believe its because someone else has locked her down the same way your sb has in magical land. Wake up.”

Sure, some women could be having an affair behind their husbands’ back, but most don’t, unless they are screwed in their heads for whatever reason. You don’t have enough data either from @ONSD or @Addicated to make your determination.

But presence of absence of data does not bother women unless they are trained in scientific methods developed by men.

Also, both gentlemen have been very respectful toward their wives, so some level of respect should have been maintained in your comment.

This is basically how men set bar for pussy, pretty low. That’s how women get fed. If men set bar too high too many women will go hungry.

I have absolutely no problem with it. It is what it is. 😉

Eloquencesays:

@ygb

You did not finish…What happened?

Dazed-SDsays:

@online my Michigan brother. Your situation seems to be totally different than @Addicted. You are taking care of business at home and work. I understand what you’ve explained in your situation.
This other dill weed, it effecting his home his work etc..

I have made love or fucked women (depending on how they liked it,,LOL ) of all shapes and sizes. Short, Tall, skinny, heavy,Black, White, Asian, Indian
etc..and the worse pussy I’ve had was really good ! sure some was better than others, but not one of them was worth fucking away the Kingdom. 😉

Guruthinks that the phenomenon coincides with the avatar, I suggest that you either change the avatar or get rid of it altogether. That may help you regain your past style of writing.

Thank you for your kind consideration of Guru’s request.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@ATL @Chrissy
That reminds me of the time I wore some of those vibrating panties for a guy and he had the remote control. OMG Haha He just re-watched the videos he took of me when he would surprise me with the vibe. Hilarious.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Southern
I was half crying tears of laughter and other half tears of dread, from your menopause post. LMAO

Also I am similar in that I am a voracious researcher and reader, but different in that sex was more of hush hush thing growing up. Just the knowledge alone provided me curiosity and confidence and excitement breach my family’s more traditionally rigid outlook on it. Now we are all much more open about it.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Chrissy
There is little more frustrating than getting all jiffy with yourself and reaching for the vibe to find out it has unceremoniously retired itself. Sure one can do it sans vibe but at times, it’s just nice to cut to the chase. LoL

SouthernSBsays:

@Addicted-You need to dump her. These relationships never last and in the end you will end up without the wife and without the SB. What you have is a toxic relationship. It’s one of those really passionate and (yeah, I’m going to say it) addictive things. You and the SB are going to love passionately, have sex passionately, and in the end fight passionately. In the meantime you will get less and less interested in your wife, and don’t think she won’t notice, because she will, and then the wife will get resentful and then all hell will break loose. Man, you will have more problems than a Spanish soap opera. You really need to get rid of the SB, because this will not end well.

We were not questioning the wife part. We were questioning the magical pussy part.

ATLSDsays:

@chrissy
There is a new vibe that syncs with your smart watch. Sounds like your cup of tea

SouthernSBsays:

@ONSD-It’s a shame that your wife is unconfortable talking about sex. I talk about it all the time. Although you won’t see me making too many comments on the blog, I’m very comfortable discussing sex with people in my life. I guess I was lucky because I my mother was a nurse and I grew up in the 70’s. My world was full of books like, “What’s Happening to Me” and “Our Bodies, Ourselves” and “The Joy of Sex” I was a prolific reader and read everything that I could get my hot little hands on, be it age appropriate or not. Nobody would ever stop me, because everyone thought as long as I was reading I was learning and my mother was quite liberal.
I knew human reproduction by the time I was 10. All the fun I learned when I use to talk, and talk is all we did, to my much older girlfriends when I was a teenager. With my daughter sex and human reproduction and keeping yourself safe was something that was just talked about from the day she was born. So it wasn’t a big deal in the house. I never had to have the “talk” with her, because we just discussed things at an age appropriate level all throughout her life. It worked pretty well, as she has made good decisions concerning her life, so far.

Re: Addicted

I don’t think that Addicted is making the story up. I can not relate to this directly in the sugar realm, but I do have a dear friend who has a similar story with his wife (sans sugar). His wife supported him before he was established, and he feels a dutiful obligation to her. Says, “She gave me everything she had.” He does not enjoy sex life with her. She is regretful and resentful of an abortion she had earlier in their relationship, and denies him children as of now. I think he has a lot of guilt about the abortion, but didn’t feel adequate in his means at the time. He doesn’t want to divorce her because he does love her, but he also wants to have a child, and is addicted to pussy elsewhere.

In my own experience…

I was once in love with a guy. We couldn’t resist each other, but weren’t exactly best for each other. We did the break up and make up thing a few times, and he dated other women intermittently and simultaneously (that bastard). Even still, he couldn’t resist me, and I knew it. The sight and sound of me became Pavlov’s bell, and he would do whatever to see me. At some point, I honestly didn’t care if he was dating someone else…he was, after all, my boyfriend first.

No one else pleasured him, understood him, knew him, excited him like I did (according to him), and he was absolutely wild for me. I was addicted to his addiction, and would fuck his lights out (all over his house, all over his car, all over the city) even though I knew that I should resist, and that he would resist if he could. But he couldn’t…and I couldn’t seem to either.

I guess you people have nothing better to do. That’s why you have been blogging all day long.

You will soon be reprimanded by those who have spent their time away from blog with their imaginary SBs and/or peddling their SBs to politicians.

SouthernSBsays:

Then you go to the Dr. and he gives you Prozac and you get all “happy” and decided to get rid of the hubby, but not the kids (as much as you’d probably like to), and when you turn 55 and the hormones are back together and the kids are in college (and they love you again) you find yourself in an empty house, all by yourself, with no man and totally invisible, and you wonder what happened. The best advice I can give anyone is just to buckle your seatbelt, don’t get the divorce, don’t take the Prozac (go to a good spa or take a booze cruise instead), and remember the kids will love you again as soon as they graduate high school. Oh and stop eating!!! Your husband will love you for it.

SouthernSBsays:

@LadyScarlett-The reason women all of a sudden up and leave their husbands or start acting like nutcases in their 40’s is because they are starting menopause. It’s not real menopause it’s something they call peri-menopause, and it makes all kinds of crazy things happen with your body and mind. Everything just ups and goes out of whack. You either become a total sex addict or you want nothing at all to do with sex, your period (sorry guys) comes and goes whenever it wants, you get some kind of temporary case of mild bipolar disorder, everything you eat automatically makes you gain 10 lbs. and you still have to deal with children who are probably turning into teenagers who will, no matter what anyone says, hate your guts. No one even prepares you for what is going on, and remember I’m not even talking about full-blown menopause, I’m just talking about the bush leagues.

@ATL
Did y’all try seeing a sex therapist or any therapist for that matter , in trying to ameliorate the lack is sex sitch?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@LadyS
No worries chickadee. I just emailed you back. In fact, I don’t think it even came through once for me! LoL

Hormones are so interesting and sometimes such a pain in the ass, for real. I know that for myself with my monthly cycle (sorry guys haha) I feel the effects and the thing about them is that they are hard to identify when you are in the grips of them. I’ve become much much better over the years at being able to be like “hormones! I see you damnitt! You’re not gonna trick me this time!” but damn, it’s still crazy how they can creep up on you without you realizing it! And this is all just healthy normal hormones for a woman during relatively stable productive years.

If a guy can help me identify my hormones, it can actually help. Obviously most men cannot tactfully and carefully do this. I have had a few who could and I honestly would appreciate it.

Would, not woukd
bid, not bod
My usual phone had its screen cracked, typing on a slightly smaller phone, resulting in many typos and wrong corrections in last few days.

ErikTheRedsays:

@Kenna,
The contract woukd be non-enforceable, so I would never bod on such a thing. Also virginity itself is quite over-rated. If such auctions ever become common place, the price would also collapse, probably plagued by frauds of all sorts.

That being said, if for cultural and/or economic reasons, it is done as a rite of passage among a small group of trusted people, and the “prize” is a willing and well informed participant, I suppose there is little harm in that.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Online
You’re right. If she isn’t willing to open up, therapy likely would do no good. It’s such a shame when I see this, not just regarding sex, but all things. There are so many missed opportunities for enriched relationships with others and oneself by actively holding out against therapy and even just self-introspection. One of my favorite things to do (after sex, masturbating, etc haha) is reading all sorts of books about such. I get so jazzed when something sheds light on something about myself or helps me think in new ways.

Good on ya for intentionally raising a kick-ass daughter!! She is lucky to have you as a father. So many dads don’t really involve themselves like that with their daughters. Many seem to just kind of leave that to the mom or whoever else in the world the daughters come into contact with. Girls need dad’s input and involvement just as much as mom’s.
I am flattered that you’d refer to me in such a way and group me with these lovely ladies. Thank you

Ladyscarlettsays:

having thyroid removed is that common, without cancer involved …I had no idea. Interesting…

Men with wives–a woman I know, in her 40’s(not sure of the women’s ages being referenced here)said that so many women she has known, in their 40’s, at work and through friendships, all of a sudden will just leave their husbands, or stop having sex abruptly, and act out of character/crazy. Then, change their mind later, and say they did not know what they were thinking, and try to amend things. I remember her telling me she thought it was hormone related? See guys, our ‘horror-mones’ can make us act out of character.

Struggles, my apologies, that last email went through a bunch of times…yahoo sucks on my iPad.

ATLSDsays:

@Struggles

Yes, Yes ,NO

ErikTheRedsays:

@ONSD
You don’t have to care about my opinion or that of Eloquence’s. You made that amply clear the first time around, and I was respecting your wishes. Now you do not have to make that point again unless you prefer me to post my opinion while you not caring about it 😉

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Kenna
If it her decision to do so and she does not feel any negative feelings about doing so, and she is of an appropriate age… I don’t see anything wrong with it. Obviously it is illegal but I assume you are speaking hypothetically.

I would wonder if it may have negative psychological and sexual development effects but who’s to say really?

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Josh – I believe wife would not be able to open up and express herself in a way that would allow us to work through the issue(s)…because I think that her development is such she is not comfortable talking about “the ‘s’ word”…

I have conversations with her about how to — oh, shit, I’m going to talk about raising children – remember @Erik, I don’t care about your opinion in my situation — raise our daughter, I’ve shared articles about ‘healthy’ sex talk during different developmental stages…While I will be a protective father, I’m also going to make sure I raise an EMPOWERED woman. She can be submissive, but will know her power (like I perceive @Kenna, @Sexy, @Lainey, @Struggle, @Chrissy and others on blog are).

Does that answer your question(s)…I believe if she could talk about the issue(s) we could certainly benefit from counseling. I have used it in the past for issues in my life and support and believe in the power of a good therapist…but it only works when you can actively and fully contribute.

My sister had hers removed like you and now has to take thyroxine everyday for the rest of her life. If she misses two days of medication, she is not herself, very moody and can’t function.

StruggleIsRealsays:

I am a big proponent of most kinds of therapy. If I had the money I would probably be going to all sorts of therapists regularly even if I wasn’t perceiving any problems.

I would actually love to go to a good sex therapist. Not because I feel I have any “problems” per se but I am just interested in it and would love to ask all sorts of questions and learn more about myself.

KennaKennasays:

Question- How do you guys feel/What is your opinion regarding women who sell their virginity to the highest bidder?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Online
The taboo put on sex, and especially discussing it openly and honestly, is so lame. It is what it is and as time goes on people are getting more comfortable talking about it but as you are experiencing it really harms many people in their sexual development and interactions with others.

@ATL
So in your situation did you find out that there was indeed a problem with the thyroid? And did medication help with both the thyroid and the sexual output?

@ONSD
BRO I swear we married the same person.
Uncanny

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Chrissy – you need to go to the naughty chair for a while for bringing up Catherine Bell…yummy…

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Chrissy – thanks…I think birth control is/was a first step to regulate some of the symptoms I saw in that first article…since it “worked” there was no need to further test or investigate…

@Struggle – wife would not participate…talking sex isn’t something she’s comfortable with AT ALL…while she was raised in an affectionate family, (hugs, kissing, holding hands, snuggling are all ‘normal’ and encouraged) S-E-X is a discussion left off the table in EVERY respect…

ATLSDsays:

@ONSD
She can start with her Primary care doc and have most of the test done and they can
usually get a good idea if something is off. Endocrinologist are hard to get into but will
do a more through blood work and look for more stuff.
For me to tell the whole story would end up being a novel on the scale of Erikthefreak.
We ended up flying around the country to try different doctors. Everybody is a little different
and may require tweaking of the drugs. But one thing is for sure, it almost completely negates
the sex drive. I hate to say it but read the blogs associated with articles or individual blogs from
women with this issue. The blogs wont be as entertaining as here. Maybe we can send
some of the SB’s over to one to liven it up .

@Chrissy…I believe the required protocol in “said” situation with boots would be to email me the pictures. This is to verify you claim of wearing said boots.

Chrissysays:

@Struggle
I know right! You would think I would be in a masturbation coma. Some people are born without them or even if you have them removed then you are just on medication the rest of your life, just like you would be if you had hypothyroidism or any of the other thyroid diseases. Catherine Bell has hers removed too. Random trivia for the day!

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Chrissy
Wow you had it removed and you still are humping everything !! Hehe

Seriously though, I didn’t even know you could have it removed and live without. What controls the hormones in your body now? Sorry these are probably like common-knowledge questions but I had no idea.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Online
You say a sex-therapist would never happen in your situation. Is that because you and/or wifey wouldn’t oblige ? Do either of you disbelieve or distrust therapists?
I would definitely take @ATL’s advice! In fact I may take his advice for the opposite reason. See if they can crank my thyroid down a bit, or else soon I’m gonna go the way of @Chrissy and start humping everything! LoL

@Chrissy, I hoped you would interject…thanks!

ATLSDsays:

@ONSD. Yes it can
Have her T4 and T3 checked.
That little bugger of a gland messes up some major shit.

Eloquencesays:

I absolutely want to barf. Your wife does not put out yet you insist on placing her on a pedastle because you do not want to tarnish her world crumbling. Lmao, seriously? I hate to break that world, but if your married and she is not having sex with you then you can believe its because someone else has locked her down the same way your sb has in magical land. Wake up.

ATLSDsays:

@ATL to CHI…welcome. What does your name imply with airplane in the middle. (how do you do that)
Are on an airplane post on the blog? Joining the self induced mile high club.
Are you in THE ATL moving to CHI?
Are you a frequent visitor to both?

@ONSD. Has the ice princess had her thyroid checked. The thyroid fucks up lots of things. If not sked an appt with Endocrinolist. This from first hand experience.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Erik – I have zero interest in your opinion on my situation…

ErikTheRedsays:

@ONSD
Women are usually turned off by begging. Every time he tries and fails makes her less sure about him. Tell her outright you will start seeing others if she doesn’t give her utmost, then set about multiple realistic goals that she needs to meet over time. An ex- prude that you open up can make for a more stable relationship than an ex cock-carousel rider who is alpha-windowed by Chad Thundercock. Don’t be distressed by the hand you are dealt with. She could be a real gem for you, if you give her “compelling” reasons to follow your lead.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Struggle – yes, I’ve talked about it before…although it has probably come from either a stressed-out and tense situation (when I first started confronting about the drop-off of intimacy) or sarcasm/joking like I just referenced with the mail-order bride…I’ve tried toys, some soft-core movies, everything I can think of short of sex therapy – and that would absolutely not happen…

ErikTheRedsays:

@yagotta,

Do you honestly think anyone is interested in your multi-page diatribe against a specific poster? I tried to keep the discussion on topics raised by others and stayed on topics, without ever bringing my own agenda or initiating comments on the messenge, before I was rabidly attacked in the most vile terms and racial slur. In other words, I was doing what you are advocating how posters should behave. However, some others seem to have a tendency to make the conversation about me instead of the subject matter, making posts after posts exclusively about me.

I do not grant pussypass to those not privileged to be in relationship with me in the present, past or future.

@Elaine

I appreciate all that you’ve contributed to usher younger ladies along both on and off blog. I, and I’m sure others, would still enjoy reading from you now and then. I can imagine that you have experience, perspective and principle in sugar that you find isn’t widely represented and reflected on blog, nor perhaps on the site. Being new here, I can’t speak much for how things have changed or not, but I can appreciate your wish to create some distance between something with which you no longer identify. Kudos and cheers to you for making the most of your experiences, challenges and growth within this realm.

@ygbkm
Hahaha ohhhh that’s what you were referring to with those posts (sound the alarm, etc). Hahahaha Oh man. Chuckles. You’re smart and hilarious.

ErikTheRedsays:

There are biological reasons why both male an female of most species prefer diversifying their own genetic future, despite ostensible monogamy in some species. Not saying that is morally right or wrong for human beings.

The really messed up part is that many human females would turn sex off on their male partners in long term monogamous relationships due to lack of pre-selection reinforcement by other females. Of course women are turned on by men desired by other women regardless how strange the actual trait is (e.g. peacock tail selected by pea hens). So hinting to her you have other options is not only not a turn-off but a turn-on. Of course you then have to consider if she’d tolerate you exercising those options for social scruples reasons. Open and honest communication (hopefully before doing it) is not as dangerous as most men think. The situation is very different from how a man would react if his woman brought up a desire to have open relationship (which is a shit test that should be rejected in any serious relationship). The difference may have something to do with her certainty over the offspring’s genetic origin and his lack thereof.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Online
Oh hell yes. Masturbating is how is start everyday! And sometimes how I end it and maybe a little pick me up in the afternoon. Haha
I’m single though so I definitely do it less when I am being regularly fucked and sucked and such

It sounds like she is definitely uncomfortable with her sexuality. Have you ever mentioned this to her more than teasingly? Would she be completely aghast at the actual idea of you being with someone else sexually?

“Jacob says:
January 5, 2015 at 7:04 pm
@yagotta

You gotta give it to KMS for creating a new ID today just to attack me. It must be a blog first, ever.”

Jacob, I politely ask that you not use me in such a manipulative, opportunistic manner. I don’t appreciate it, please.

I would like for you to know that there are interesting elements of your thoughts on various matters, some to which I can relate. It is without question that some find these topics engaging. The thing is, Jacob, you always find a way to go off the deep end or turn it into your personal agenda…which is different from sharing for information and perspective. It becomes exhausting and repulsive to read your interjections into every crevice where you think your theory fits. It’s overkill, Jacob. You lose even those who appreciate and even subscribe to your position to some degree.

I knew that it would be a matter of time before you made your presence known again, but I hoped you would have a more rational, moderate and disciplined approach–not only to how you share (this is essentially your own personal thesis and life project/experiment)–but also to the way you react to others (most specifically Kms) on blog.

I appreciate that everyone adds their own elements and perspective, has their own identity/persona/whatever on blog. It makes for a more dynamic space in which to share.

I say that to convey that it’s not that no one appreciates the content of your perspective in its entirety, it’s that your perspective becomes a disordered, toxic imposition that no one cares to engage.

“gravytrainwreck (ygbkm)says:
January 4, 2015 at 6:42 pm
@youknowwho

I’m on to you. Hope you’ll play nicer this time.”

That post was written to you. This I know you gather.

“@youknowwhat

Oh lord, it’s beginning. I can see the dark clouds rolling in.”

“Once you open the flood gates, there’s no turning back. Save yourselves, already! The sirens have sounded!!!”

Those posts were addressing the situation. Sure, it may appear incomprehensible to some, but it was intended to be a genuine gesture discernible to those to whom it was intended.

It’s unfortunate, Jacob, that most of what you share–as interesting as it may or may not be to some–is dwarfed by your unpalatable reactions and repetition.

Also unfortunate, is that you (Jacob, Sunshine, Erik) and you (Kms2014, Scarlett, K) can not seem to engage in the same space. Your nuclear weapons approach, and Kms’ teasing provocation are neither complementary nor conducive to facilitating a blog space that people enjoy.

What I will say–and Jacob, I really hope that you can appreciate this without feeling a need to defend your position–what I will say is that threats against people’s children and vulgar/abusive comments about children are unwelcome to a universal degree.

It might be a good idea for you two to act as passive observers for a quick little to allow things to calm some, and to allow the blog to recover. Or at least stop addressing each other (directly or indirectly).

I honestly don’t think that anyone cares whose position is most right at this point, but I think that most are tired of reading about it. Most specifically because there is nothing for anyone else to gather from the exchange as it brings no perspective that anyone can use or appreciate.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Struggle – I think I know the answer to this question, but I will not ass-u-me…Are you one to masturbate regularly? Wife does not AT ALL, and was uncomfortable touching herself when we were intimate…she was not inclined to allow me to be oral on her and was not AT ALL orally inclined toward me…but back then I was blinded by love and it wasn’t the only in the dark and only in bed and scarcity I am experiencing now…

I tease her, when the discussion comes up, that if something were to happen to her I would have a Russian Mail-Order Bride here to take over nanny and sexual duties almost immediately…

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Chrissy
I have thought the same, even if I had children, which is not a requirement but something I would only do if it made incredible sense and was really right on all levels. I also am not against having a monogamous relationship if it was right for my partner and I, but would want to make sure that everyone was having his/her needs and desires satisfactorily met. And if they weren’t, they would be objectively discussed and fixed, or the relationship would change. Life is too short and valuable to not be having great sex, among other things.

I have always assumed I would end up in an open relationship when I find the right person. I also do not want children though so that makes that lifestyle much easier.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Online
Oh yes, I recall the lists. Sigh.
I really don’t understand women who don’t have sex with their men. For one, how do they just not want it themselves? The only thing that keeps me from having sex with every man who comes at me is simply that I am not attracted to them. If I am attracted to a man, I can be upset with him, and STILL want sex. And not because I am some massively orgasmic freak, just normal. I don’t even cum every time but I still freaking love and crave it, not even just for the physical sensation but for the connection and it fulfills some part of me.

I have to consider that I am not everyone so am only speaking from my own personal experience and perspective. But I know that as much as I love sex, most men love it even more simply due to evolution and their ability the cum pretty much always. So if I ever ended up in a situation where I did not want to have sex, I would asses why, and do something about it. The last resort would be that I would end things if I simply wasn’t attracted to him, or if it made sense to stay together for various reasons, I would allow him to fulfill that aspect of his life elsewhere without placing guilt or blame on him.
I just don’t get it.

ErikTheRedsays:

Good for your great grandparents! Most men are probably not okay with sexless committed relationships. The majority of marriages more than a decade or so old are together probably because they can not afford to divorce (either money or the need to raise children

So many men are A-okay with a sexless situation. Its weird. Even my great grandparents were still getting it in ((don’t ask me how I know this *smh*))

ErikTheRedsays:

@Struggle

Love (the willingness and desire to sacrifice one’s on interest for the benefit of the object of love) and lust can be two different feelings towards two different people. E.g. I still love ( platonically) and care about my ex-wife dearly, willing to do almost anything for her if needed, just like my love for my child with her (perhaps it is an extension of my love for the child), but I have almost zero desire to have sex with her, except for expressing how attractive she is in order to encourage her to date other people. She is actually still attractive for her age, but for me the sexual lust towards her has evolved into something between sibling love and parent-child love.

@Struggle – no, I don’t, other than the ever-changing list of “priorities” that we have discussed in excruciating detail previously.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Online
Damn I wish your wife would just get sexual with you. You sound like you really love her and want her. For me, being loved and wanted is a massive orgasm-inducer. That is what gets me going the most. Do you have any idea why she isn’t interested in sex?

We can bounce quarters off @Struggles ass as well! 😉

StruggleIsRealsays:

Yeah @Sexy, the guitar is fantastic but you are even more fantastic Don’t be stingy.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Fun – he has said he is no longer attracted to her…so it’s far from the “perfect” woman in his eyes now.

Speaking from a man who is still significantly attracted to his wife, lack of sex (or pleasurable sex) can be a major contributor to diving in the sugar bowl (it’s why I’m here)…I don’t believe I could ever meet a magical pussy that could pull me away from wife, but I’ve had a couple of fantastic long-term lovers who knew their place in my life and liked to exploit my high sex drive…

I just wish we could focus on @Chrissy’s boobs some more, or maybe @Sexy can get us a different pic to add to the blog viewing pleasure?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Chrissy
Hahahaha You are killin’ it today!

ErikTheRedsays:

@Addicted,

As you can see from the other posters, many men would consider this a rare situation where the husband deserves to be divorce-raped. LOL. If not for the Mrs’ single-minded desire to maintain a family and marriage, many may argue she deserves better than someone stepping out on her behind her back after she supported and enabled his career.

To save what she wants (the family and marriage) you have to want that too, not just out of a sense of duty per se. That means you need to regain leadership role not just vis SB, but also vis the wife, who over the years may have become a little complacent simply because she had done so much for you. Insist on her lose those pounds and help her accomplishing that goal, which is not only good for her but also for the babies that you two are planning on making soon. Chances are that she will enjoy the encouragement and “enforcement” showing that you care. Some of her past prudishness may well be due to self-image issue.

The alternative, continued indulgence and refusal to take up pro-active leadership, I’m afraid you will lose both the high-quality wife, and the SB shortly after that.

Sex isn’t enough to ruin the “perfect” relationship with a loyal woman who was a “virgin” when you met her. Never can replace that. Very rare.

That is why I call bullshit on the story.

Chrissysays:

I think he should just keep the SB in a cage until she learns how to behave herself, perhaps in the basement. Do they make cages with gloryholes?
Although with a magical pussy she may be able to teleport herself out of there.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Chrissy
Mad love for you boo!!

@Dazed
Haha I think you just said what many of us really wanted to say from the get-go.

Dazed-SDsays:

@addicted, MAN UP DUDE ! Of course a hot young hardbelly with a tight va ja ja is addicting, but my gosh, grow a pair ! There’s no pussy in the world thats worth ruining your marriage and career over. (you mentioned she’s a distraction on your work) Quit acting like a small minded Dill Weed and take control of your life. (sorry to be so harsh, but pussy wiped man/boys are insulting to our gender)

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Addicted – If she has threatened to find someone else, and you’ve actually “tested” meeting someone else…you might be surprised to find out there’s ALREADY someone else in her life (although, if this magic pussy is ALWAYS reaching out for you, maybe not)…however…if you’re as “good” for her as she is for you, let her go…she might just find out there’s a LOT MORE idiots out there that will try to use her magical pussy rather than appreciate it…she might just come crawling back to you for the magic you gave her!

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Xero – I think my inactivity over the holidays week was what prompted the messages…although it was significantly lower than the previous weeks where I did not renew my membership (but I logged in almost every day to use the search feature to see about new members)…go figure (no, I have work to do…I’m not doing any more numbers analysis)

@Addicted – It’s difficult to put rules in place where there may have been none before…if your SB doesn’t “need” the allowance you’ve been giving her, you could have your hands full trying to put some rules in place…I’m hoping you haven’t replied to her messages showing how much you enjoy HER pics, or let her gather enough “intel” to make your life complete hell!

Chrissysays:

Reaching new levels of raunchiness and it isn’t even HUMP day!
I love all the blog SBs so much!

Joshsays:

@Addicted

“SexyRockstar It has been more than 10 years since I have spent my wife’s money.”

That’s irrelevant. She made it available when you needed it most. You owe her big time.

“she cares about her reputation and being the perfect wife/woman in everyone’s eyes so divorce would in her mind tarnish her image she has worked so hard in building.”

Well, consult a couple’s counselor individually and come up with a strategy to bring spice back in your life. You DON’T wanna mess with a good woman. Read Gary Chapman’s work on five love languages. Take the quiz and ask her to take it as well.

If the two of you do decide to see a counselor, use a different one…use a male counsellor. Female counsellor will pretend to understand what your wife is saying without grasping much in terms of translating that into actionable items. She may be a closet dom or feminist and will screw both of you over.

“Money has never been an issue in our relationship, and if we were to ever end things, I’d be more than happy giving her what she asked for.”

Aren’t you a sweetheart? 😉

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Chrissy
If your boobs work for all your clients methinks they could work for us too, especially if you are happily deposited onto a nice, firm dildo. Also if you need help with insertion, I would gladly oblige. 😉

@flyR
I have no idea what all that means. But in pretty sure it means something along the lines of “bananas”. LoL

@Erik
If the blog is not anonymous for you, that is your problem.

flyRsays:

So I leave the blog for 30 hours to get some work done, kick sand the faces of a couple dirtbag politicians and I come back here for a rest and there is complete chaos. It’s like Ken Keasey and his merry pranksters crashed the acid laden bus in a jungle of monkeys and Tom Wolfe is recording the conversations where the acid laden monkeys are making the most sense, Alice has found a new SD who brings home the bananas and it’s only 6pm.

BTW, @ATL, if I were as insane as KMS, a complaint to the hosts would have been filed on your use of bad language.

Jacobsays:

“k n answer” was the result of phone auto correction for “an answer”

Jacobsays:

@ATL

I know you are trying to be dramatic, but stop projecting and assuming. KMS embodies the very antithesis of the type of women that I would want as a partner. Btw, the blog is not anonymous for me and those who know me in real life; her penchant for linking back to my old username ensures that lack of anonymity. Whatever she made up in those attacks instantly became libel.

As to the inquiry from Addicted, people having married for a long time do discuss 3somes. 3some, baby, or divorce, one of the three paths is often taken when the marriage is on the rocks not due to conflict or hardship but due to boredom and lack of sexual excitement.

ATLSDsays:

“@Jacob says:
January 5, 2015 at 2:19 pm
@Addicted,

If you want to keep the wife and the SB, perhaps it is time for an honest conversation with the wife: how does she feel about 3some if that means she can get your hard on back for her own enjoyment. ….etc”

Jacob, Erikthefreak, Sybil. YOU posted it not K. Once again. You are a fucking jack wagon. I know what u are doing. You are wacking that tiny little weenie every time K, Lady, KMS post because u get off on that shit. LEAVE THE BLOG NOW.

And since you are a defamation expert. Can you plz post all precedent setting cases were people have won a defamation lawsuit against another person on an anonymous blog. We will be waiting

I was really worried when I read your post describing the emotional trauma you went through when considering not posting on the blog anymore.

I am glad it just turned out to be you being an attention whore.

Have a nice day!

Addictedsays:

SexyRockstar It has been more than 10 years since I have spent my wife’s money.

My wife does not care about money, she has always had more than the average person and never knew what it is like to not have money. However, she cares about her reputation and being the perfect wife/woman in everyone’s eyes so divorce would in her mind tarnish her image she has worked so hard in building.

Money has never been an issue in our relationship, and if we were to ever end things, I’d be more than happy giving her what she asked for.

SexyRockstarsays:

^^heh, i typed almost as horrible as Addicted does.

Lol @ You are no a Sugar Daddy

should read: You are not a Sugar Daddy

SexyRockstarsays:

@Addicted

You are no a Sugar Daddy. You are a Sugar Baby who used your wife((YOUR sugar mama)) to benefit your career. I see. So now, you picked up someone and now use your Sugar Mama’s money to pay for this side chick.

If you do as well as you say you do, then divorce your wife. I bet you she won’t be crying over all the money she will get from it.

Now you know how I felt when hit by your incessant attacks, especially the out of blue attack from you this morning.

Jacobsays:

@Kenna
Excellent idea! I’m sure he will more than happy to throw a big party in your honor.

Jacobsays:

@ATL
Point well taken, but you do realize that was k n answer to his quest for a solution that would enable him to keep both the wife and the SB. Being honest with the wife and letting the two women know each other would be the way to ward off divorce and blackmail. 17years is a long time; you’d be surprised what many wives are willing to try. I did not get the see else that his wife is a prude, but more along the lines of not very creative or exciting. Well, he’s the one who is supposed to bring innovations. A sex therapist may well get the wife used to having a 3rd party present while the couple get naked.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@ATL has slapped me into my best shape too. He’s a fair guide as a man who likes women, but not a man who likes crappy women.

Jacobsays:

@KMS
Nobody is dumb enough to believe your story on the origin of “K” account, just like nobody is dumb enough to believe that you were not banned when there was such a big gap between the disappearance of KMS and the first appearance of Scarlet. If you are too gullible for your own lies, you need to check with someone else for if the lie passes smell test before posting.

The plaintiff in the defamation case would be the natural person, not any of the ID’s, simply because you were attacking the natural person.

@Josh
Thanks for the advice.
I simply responded to a question you asked. You have my email and can ask privately if you’d like as well. Bit I have no problem with what has been exchanged publicly.

Ladyscarlettsays:

“KennaKenna says:
January 5, 2015 at 9:42 pm
@ATL

@jacob et al. You told @addict to ask his wife if she Wud want a 3some. This after he stated that wifeys lockbox is locked like Fort Knox. You sir are a fucking idiot. Plz leave this planet now. And take Sybil with you. You have picked the wrong planet and leave our SB alone. They may be a little wacked but they are our SB’s.”

I noticed that, too, but didn’t say it….hehe

KennaKennasays:

@ATL

@jacob et al. You told @addict to ask his wife if she Wud want a 3some. This after he stated that wifeys lockbox is locked like Fort Knox. You sir are a fucking idiot. Plz leave this planet now. And take Sybil with you. You have picked the wrong planet and leave our SB alone. They may be a little wacked but they are our SB’s.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Addict

@ATL is right.
It’s called classic conditioning. I teach my one dog a trick a day using this. You can do it.

Jacobsays:

@Kenna
There is a reason why Disney stories typically cut out after “happily ever after.” In investment, lower expectations and pre-arranged exit strategy tend to make for more rewarding outcomes. Marriage is more of a commencement than graduation.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@ATL
I heart you for that. Lmao.
If you didn’t already exist, I’d make you my proxy.

ATLSDsays:

So I’m happily drink a beer with my drinking buddy instead of my SB buddy. I cum back here to find the world is even more out of order.

@Addicted. We will go along with your magical Harry Potter story because of said reason from @Struggles. To help with your issue. Every time she sends u a pic of the MONEY. think of Dumbledore.

@jacob et al. You told @addict to ask his wife if she Wud want a 3some. This after he stated that wifeys lockbox is locked like Fort Knox. You sir are a fucking idiot. Plz leave this planet now. And take Sybil with you. You have picked the wrong planet and leave our SB alone. They may be a little wacked but they are our SB’s.

@jacob
You are obsessed. Can no one make a comment without you relating it to women as it relates to children?

@Josh
I obviously have no problem giving credit where credit is due. What I am wary of is aligning myself with someone who I don’t largely identify with.

Jacobsays:

@Struggles @ Addicted

Okay, I assumed a bit too much on the wife’s profession. I had thought the medical career as a busy doctor with typically 60-80hr weeks. If she had planned the job to be a flexible hours almost a part time thing, then of course having a child or two would be quite possible.

Do get the baby making started soon though if you want two, since she is in her mid-30’s already. Take testosterone replacement pills or even ED pills if you have too. LOL. Given high enough testosterone level, the man will be turned on even if the woman were ugly ( not saying your wife is). Do consult your doctor on the long term effect and dosage though.

Ladyscarlettsays:

Hehe, I only wrote just ‘K’ because I was too lazy to write out kms2014 earlier, and it wasn’t saved on the name id…I wrote k, so you knew it was me, and was messing with you a bit, but you already knew me on blog–what a creepy surprise. Is funny you are making such a deal about it. haven’t had but two IDs here…you, on the other hand….SunshineSD, Sunshineofyourlove, sunshinesd(the reboot), Jacob, Erikthered. Which identity should sue for defamation?

Joshsays:

@StruggleIsReal

“I hate to give kuddos to Josh but I will.
That was a genius summary.”

Why do you “hate to give” credit where it is due?

Joshsays:

@KennaKenna

“Some of you bloggers have slowly killed my aspirations of walking down the aisle one day and being happily married forever. It also makes me wonder if my parents are happily married or just staying together for my siblings and I.”

See, some of us caused you to re-evaluate things you took for granted. Maybe you will live happily ever after, maybe your parent are truly happily married, but at least you stopped and pondered. 😉

See, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 above, in order to get answers any further posts you address to me from now on, haha!

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Kenna
For the love of all things holy, please do not have any important thoughts based on this blog today.

Jacobsays:

@KMS
2. Defamation is easy to establish when there are people reading the blog who know the real person using those ID’s. You perchance for “outing” the link among those ID’s were not helping. If you were in my shoes, I’m sure you would have sued, but I’m not as insane and quite a bit more considerate than you are. That’s why I prefer giving you warnings, so the
suit would not be necessary.

6. You clearly called the blog hosts as liars, and confessed your own propensity to lie.

8. “Go away”? You positively created a new ID today dedicated to attacking me. That’s what you brought on yourself. All I ever wanted was you leaving me the heck alone.

Ask your doctor if bromide is safe for you to suppress erection.

Or do it old fashioned way, before you meet her. 😉

KennaKennasays:

@Josh hehe!

Some of you bloggers have slowly killed my aspirations of walking down the aisle one day and being happily married forever. It also makes me wonder if my parents are happily married or just staying together for my siblings and I.

Addictedsays:

Thank you Josh and Struggleisreal. I will have a talk with SB without little head and if she does not follow my rules then I will have to end it Because leaving wife is not an option.

Jacob, we would ideally like to have two children. She loves her career and would never be a stay-at-home mom. Her plan is to return to work 6 months after baby and hire a nanny. She has a much more flexible schedule now so she would still be able to spend time with the kid(s).

@Kenna,

Ass-u-me that @Addictive = @Brandon, and ass-u-me that he has brought a hypothetical hyperactive “magical” pussy tale to us as a blog project. 😉

Jacobsays:

@Addicted

What exactly is your wife’s plan if she could get pregnant now? Quit her medical career at 36 when she is 7 months pregnant? take 10 years out then get back at 46 and have to take another 5 years to get her various licenses back to good standing with the certification boards?

Sounds like her life time schedule is all messed up, and she is considering becoming stay-home mom for good after the pregnancy and birth. At 5x her earnings, you certainly have the ability to float her new plan.

The question is whether she should have exclusive rights to your penis and genetic future , with probably only one child . . . Or would you prefer supporting her and that child for the rest of her life, while giving yourself the freedom to pursue your own happiness.

It is a stark and harsh reality you are facing. Is she bossy? Do you thinkyou will be able to keep her happy after she turn 40 or 45, when the menopause hits, and instead of the big medical career she dreamed of, she is the president of the PTA? And compete against the Jones on the size of the backyard pool party?

You can still be very supportive of her outside of a marriage framework. Yes, letting her divorce you would be the preferred solution. She really should have thought about her timeline much earlier.

And if you do divorce your wife, do it in the most gentlest way possible so that she can quickly move on with her life, and find a decent man who does appreciate her AS SHE IS.

KennaKennasays:

finding*

KennaKennasays:

Either I am exhausted from taking care of sick SD today and my comprehension skills are absent tonight, OR because of all the back and forth fighting on this blog but I’m fining it so hard to follow/comprehend @Addicted’s story.

The most interesting part is the “magical pussy” lol… Please tell me more about it… I’m so tempted to ask SD if he has ever encountered one of these magical pussies. I almost expect he will say “You have one baby” but I know that’ll be bullshit because many times I literally had to ask him kindly to attack the “pussy”- if it were magical, I’d be able to summon his mouth or manhood directly to the magical spot without opening my mouth.

Tell SB to pipe down. Tell her if she doesn’t, that you will cut her off completely.
You are not interested in shaking your marriage up so tell her to make it work or take a hike.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Addict
Yes, this is difficult for me to completely relate to because I have a woman’s sexual response as opposed to a man’s.

If I am turned off by one, I have yet to have achieved orgasm by him, and I have never had this proven wrong.

So I know men are of an entirely different evolutionary biological set than I, but I am unable to be excited by someone I am not emotionally engaged with. This is really sick and trust me, I wish this were not the case, but I am largely able to cum simply to the thought of someone who I find attractive, who has done me wrong. I am almost certain that this only speaks to the quality of someone who I find attractive. I am only able to ascertain that “feeling” from that “I find him attractive” quality for a few months after he has exited my life.

Yes I have been to therapy.

Ladyscarlettsays:

1. Wrong
2. if you had the money, power or right to do such a thing, then you would have already, because you are that insane. However, since one cannot get a court order or sue for defamation of character, for a blog character that keeps changing(SunshineSD, Jacob, Erik), then there is no case. Defamation of what? A blog persona ‘character’ defamation, ahahaha! But, you did threaten to find out my identity and my son’s and interfere with our livelihood, his school, his teachers, my family, ect., which is against internet threats and stalking laws, which can apply to blogs. Look it up.
3.lie
4. Delusion and denial
5. Even more delusion
6. Just clueless
7. Lol, wanker

Really, am done now. Please, bugger off. Am sure you will insist on responding or getting the last word in, but people are bored of you and this conversation. Go away.

Struggle I want to keep wife and SB; I just want to know how to keep SB at bay.

Joshsays:

Are you not attracted to her anymore independently or because of the hyperactive pussy?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Addicted

I mean this with all due respect…
It sounds like you have a decent woman. You do have sex with her still, despite saying it is not good. You do not want to lose her. You do not wish to lose her to your current SB who has some magical pussy.

I think you need to make it work with wife. Or choose not to, and man up to the risk you take, and make it happen.

1. Are you in decent physical shape?
2. What will happen if you ask her to lose weight “together”?
3. What will happen if you suggested couples therapy because you want more sex?

Joshsays:

@Addictive,

Without comparing her with the young, hyperactive pussy carrier, is your wife decent-looking for her age, and has kept herself up as much as womanly possible? That is, if she is in bed, you are not repulsed in any anyway.

Addictedsays:

No, what’s the point in making something up on an anonymous blog?

I would not say wife is over-weight, she is average, gained some unwanted pounds in the last 5 years. And no to couples therapy because she does not think we have issues. She is happy and thinks I am happy too

@Addicted,
Are you making this up? 😉
Is your wife over-weight? There are ways correcting this problem
Have you tried couple’s sex therapy?

Addictedsays:

Struggle I was speaking about my wife not my SB.

I only met my SB last summer.

Addictedsays:

I am not staying because of money, I do well now. Money is not an issue. I’m staying because she has dedicated the last 17 years of her life to me and in a way I’m the only man she has been with.

She wanted to have a somewhat established medical career before thinking about kids, she is a woman that needs her own successes and has big shoes to fill. Now we have hit this bump, I don’t think it’s fair to leave her.

Jacobsays:

“mms ot” is auto correction for “not”

Jacobsays:

1. I did not even write to the management until they told me about your complaint. You were banned right after the first email I sent them, consisting of verbatim citation of your earlier posts.

2. I did not threaten to out you. On the contrary, I warned you if I had to get a court order to stop your defamation, you would be outed as a consequence of public court records. In other words, the warning was given because I did mms ot wish to out you or taking you to the cleaners. Apparently you either did not understand the legal process or deliberately lied in order to get me banned or you simply have such a flimsy grasp on reality that you believe whatever you say yourself. LOL.

3. As for bad language, what I wrote was much more tame and less graphic than what was tossed at me. I’m leaving it at that.

4. What “little fellow”? What “Napoleonic Complex”? You are once again demonstrating your propensity to believing whatever you claim yourself. That makes you a terrible witness in court, and a horrendous partner in business or in life.

5. The posts from Erik were very well received by multiple other posters, and I’m sure orders of magnitude more readers who do not post.

6. By claiming SA merely told me what I wanted to hear in order to get my membership fee while doing something contrary, you are calling them liars. By saying that’s what you would do, you are confessing your propensity to lie. Do we need to proceed further?

7. “If I owned a site like this . . .” Really? So you want to insult the staff and other members too?

Addictedsays:

I cannot imagine life without wife, She met me coming from a family of money when she was a freshman in college And I was a struggling law school student with debt up to my eyeballs from a single mother home with 5 kids and the weight on my shoulders to excel and help my family.

She loved me for me and for years I felt like I was out of her league until my career took off and I made 5x her income. I’d feel like a complete asshole leaving her now that I “made it” so that’s not an option for me.

Deep down I’ve been praying that I will somehow be the problem and reason we can’t have kids so she gets frustrated and leave me. She has been great,supportive, patient and held me up and I just can’t see myself leaving as unhappy I may be.

I meant, do you mean she met you, coming from a family of money(you do), or she comes from money? If her, then are you staying married to her because she comes from money?

Pardon me, if I misunderstood….

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Josh writes…

“@Sexy

@EriktheRed turned out to be @SunshineSD = @Jacob.

@LadyScarlett = @KMS2014 = @K

They are copy-pasting their posts from few months ago. When they are done retyping everything, someone from SA will ban @EriktheRed = @SunshineSD = @Jacob, who will ask SA to ban @LadyScarlett = @KMS2014 = @K.

@Addictive is torn between a hyperactive pussy and a lazy pussy.

@Elaine got spooked by some “johnish” website, and she has allegedly resigned from SA Blob responsibilities.

@FatB’StardSA stopped masturbating and with his sticky fingers posted a short comment dissing @Josh, @Elaine, @SunshineSD and @KMS2014.

@yougottabekiddingme has been posting incomprehensible comments.

That pretty much sums it up. ”

I hate to give kuddos to Josh but I will.
That was a genius summary.
I will however disagree with the following:

Josh, “YGBKM” having incomprehensible posts.
(I tend to find her’s entirely enjoyable and contributing in a fair and healthy way, often the most comprehensible of them all. Honestly.)

Wait, so you are with your wife because she met you her freshman year, coming from a family of money? You mean, she comes from a family with money? What…

Addictedsays:

SexyRockstar,
There are strong feelings involved, the thought of giving her up/losing her or her seeing someone else pains me. She has become a part of my life, our relationship has progressed and we send about 100 texts back and forth everyday, so it’s constant communication. I always want to kno what’s going in with her and vice versa.

Last month I tried a new SB and it just wasn’t the same, she is special and I don’t want to lose her. My wife will never be enough for me so I’ve accepted I will always have a SB.

I cannot imagine life without wife, She met me coming from a family of money when she was a freshman in college

SexyRockstarsays:

Okay guys, shut up.

We are not in high school. This is a blog, sit the fuck down.

Kms2014says:

Complain to management? Come on, I got several emails stating how you wouldn’t leave their complaints department alone, and them, until you had me ‘banned’, just as you admitted above. You were banned due to threatening to out a blog personality(myself and my underage child), and some pretty horrible language used.

I guess being such a little feller, does breed some insecurity issues, and Napoleon complex, but still…

Spin it all you want, but most know what a nutter you are look at what you are doing now…cannot let it go.

Last time you made your appearance, the blog collectively asked you to leave, too.

They told you what you wanted to hear, so that your membership dues kept coming in and being paid. I would probably do the same thing, if I owned a site like this…

Hehe, idiot…

Now, leave me alone. Am done with this, so move on.

Jacobsays:

@KMS

Dream on. You really think they wanted to get rid of a paying customer so you, a nonpayment noncustomer can waste their bandwidth and take up their staff time? Get a clue. Heck I may even buy you one if you behave for a few days.

Jacobsays:

@Josh,
The double ban against both came about last time only because KMS complained to the management (whereas I did not initially). By the time the management heard both sides, they wanted a double ban against both, which KMS repeatedly deliberately violated from day one. Because my primary concern was stopping her personal attacks and defamation campaign against me, I offered the management if they could keep KMS off the blog, I’d voluntarily honor their ban and refrain from posting despite the mechanics of the ban doesn’t affect my posting abilities.

It will be interesting to see if KMS complains to the management again, and how she will spin her dedicated new ID created today to attack me.

Kms2014says:

I still have some of the emails stating what I just said. I wouldn’t call them liars, but just trying to get rid of you, in the easiest way possible…the path of least resistance. It worked for awhile 😉

*@FatB’StardSA briefly stopped masturbating and with his sticky fingers posted a short comment dissing @Josh, @Elaine, @SunshineSD and @KMS2014. He thence reverted back to his favorite pastime. 😉

Joshsays:

@Sexy

@EriktheRed turned out to be @SunshineSD = @Jacob.

@LadyScarlett = @KMS2014 = @K

They are copy-pasting their posts from few months ago. When they are done retyping everything, someone from SA will ban @EriktheRed = @SunshineSD = @Jacob, who will ask SA to ban @LadyScarlett = @KMS2014 = @K.

@Addictive is torn between a hyperactive pussy and a lazy pussy.

@Elaine got spooked by some “johnish” website, and she has allegedly resigned from SA Blob responsibilities.

@FatB’StardSA stopped masturbating and with his sticky fingers posted a short comment dissing @Josh, @Elaine, @SunshineSD and @KMS2014.

@yougottabekiddingme has been posting incomprehensible comments.

That pretty much sums it up. 😉

SexyRockstarsays:

I don’t feel like scrolling up and reading all of this shit, can someone recap for me?

Jacobsays:

@yagotta

You gotta give it to KMS for creating a new ID today just to attack me. It must be a blog first, ever. There are plenty topics and discussions on the blog on a given day that is of no interest to any particular one of us, but if it is of interest to someone else, I just leave them alone or skip over that particular conversation. It must take some extra degree of madness and depravity to create a new dedicated account to attack someone.

SexyRockstarsays:

Wow….I missed a lot.

@Addicted
You’re in a very familiar situation. Are you In LOVE with your sb, or just in love of the idea that someone can bring out such greatness in your life…if love is even an idea?

My SD is amazing, he’s married, yet him and I are in love with each other. I know that there are times he’d rather be with me then with her. It’s heartbreaking to know he’s unhappy. He has his wonderful kids to distract him.

What means more to you? Your family or a thrill? Would you rather take a drug that lasts forever or a drug that is a short high and when you come down from it, it makes you sick? Drugs are bad, but the drug that fits you and will benefit your life will make it all worth while. Maybe find a new drug? Your SB sounds like cocaine, your wife sounds like Heroin. Maybe try a drug like pot. A new POT. Someone who will relax you, yet will allow you to function.

Xerosays:

@Josh “As @Lisa suggested above, some of us have have nothing better to do.”

Apparently lol

@ONSD “When I finally looked at my email notifications and then logged into the site, I ONLY got a dozen emails in the week plus I’ve been disconnected…either the marketing machine has started to slow down, or there are more throw-away profiles on here than I first thought!”

Strange, as the less often I log on, the more mail I seem to get.

@Elaine “It seems like it is all about 18/20 y hotties, and “8″ and “10′s” or P4P “arrangements” and getting as much sex, for as few money, possible.”

It is not this way for all of us. It is regretful to see you go. Though I did not get a chance to know you well, you seemed to be a class act.

“yougottabekiddingme says:
January 4, 2015 at 9:08 pm
Once you open the flood gates, there’s no turning back. Save yourselves, already! The sirens have sounded!!!”

[sighs]

Sorry gang…I tried

@FlyR, @ATL

Laughing my life away!!!

Jacobsays:

@KMS
You are essentially calling SA blog management liars. I’d rather believe you are the liar. Your writings today have utterly destroyed any remnant of credibility you might have had before the day began.

“and it is like the Crips and the Bloods came through different doors and there lead, bodies and drugs flying in all directions.”

That should be very familiar to you in your line of work, no?

ATLSDsays:

The world is out of balance and so is the blog.

flyRsays:

Wow, I leave the blog to do an honest day’s work and it is like the Crips and the Bloods came through different doors and there lead, bodies and drugs flying in all directions. Ducking and running till the crazynes stops. ;

Anemone A.says:

Lool You Bring a baby ..everyone loves a baby and they will love you tooo LOOOL jk or Bring a panda,cat , puppy or announce your pregnant hahahahaha jk lol..

hm Technically i think you should synchronize with the family how their attitude is if they are hyper and energetic then you be all bubbly and friendly , if they are silent very high class attitude act like you are a top notch hotel and you should watch out your manners and if they are just relaxed and cool then you just be as who you are ..technically you be who you are but you change your mood on the weather or environment of the situation or people you are with..

Kms2014says:

Am glad you are such a fan of my writing, and know the exact time span, break, or perceived breaks,in between my posts…hehe 😉

Jacobsays:

@KMS

Keep digging. There was a long gap between the disappearance of KMS and the first appearance of LadyScarlet. You were banned, but couldn’t refrain from posting after a while. What little self-discipline you had were wiped clean by your drug cocktail.

I have nothing to do with Lainie, if that’s what you are trying to imply. She is her own person, or someone else’ alt-ego, nothing to do with me. I have no use for platform shoes. I bought high heeled boots for my SB this Christmas.

Kms2014says:

Hey FB (:

Yeah, I think will let jacoby win that 😉

Jacoby, I haven’t used KMS in so long that I was just being lazy and posted, just a special ‘K’, just for you, so you would know me :-0 Because you and your elevator shoes are just so…special…

And, once again, I was not really banned, like you, as was told I could come back to blog as with another name, so that you would leave them alone, in the complaints department. Is pretty funny that you still quite do not grasp this, hehe. Hey, but whatever makes you feel better. I never stopped posting here…these whole months you were banned. :-p

Kms2014says:

Hey FB (:

Yeah, I think will let jacoby win that 😉

Jacoby, I haven’t used KMS in so long that I was just being lazy and posted, just a special ‘K’, just for you, so you would know me :-0 Because you and your elevator shoes are just so…special…

And, once again, I was not really banned, like you, as was told I could come back to blog as long as I used another name, so that you would leave them alone, in the complaints department, and stay away from blog. Is pretty funny that you still quite do not grasp this. Hey, but whatever makes you feel better. I never stopped posting here…all these months you were banned, hehe. :-p

You have managed to top Josh in the attention whore category with one the most tragic blog resignation letters I have ever read.

@KMS,Jacob

This “who is the bigger stalker” pissing contest is a nice move. Keep at it.

Jacobsays:

@KMS

Women may find men with biting sense of humor attractive. It would be a grave mistake to project such feelings to men, who do not find biting sense of humor attractive at all, any more than prickly stubbles around the mouth of a women.

Yes, I did leave you alone for many weeks when you violated the ban against you and posted under “LadyScarlet.” You were so clueless that you had to invent a new ID “K” just to attack me.

No, I have no idea what you are talking about Lainie. $140k for a shopping trip is too rich for my blood; if the bill comes to over $140k, it has to contain a degree for the SB, and a live birth for me.

You will probably have an issue with divorce in the future if this keeps up. I doubt your wife would be happy if she found out.

You better not give your SB any information concerning your identity.

Jacobsays:

@Addicted,

If you want to keep the wife and the SB, perhaps it is time for an honest conversation with the wife: how does she feel about 3some if that means she can get your hard on back for her own enjoyment. Bad sex life is obviously not going to make the marriage last. The wife might feel humiliated initially, but the alternative is divorce, besides you can help her dignity by fucking the wife only in the presence of the SB, who is only an erection enhancement decoration. Who knows, she may just agree to it, and the wife will work much harder in the sex department and the SB will lose her leverage a bit in case you are afraid of her blackmailing you.

Josh, not sure if I should respond or ignore you. Before her, I would have never thought I could be addicted to being with one person but it surely is happening.

Addictedsays:

I have tried to completely end it and blocked her texts/calls for a week but found myself extremely miserable and could not focus in my professional life and quickly got upset with wife about minuscule things. Seeing her and being with her quickly changed that and I was back to myself.

And I don’t know that I want to end it, I just don’t want this hold on me!

@KMS

Good try at making up new lies. There was no way you could refrain yourself from posting for a few months if not for being banned.

Jacobsays:

@KMS
I had enough enough IQ to have noticed that you were posting under the new name “LadyScarlet” after observing the ban for a few months, and I had enough IQ to refrain from commenting or outing you. If that means 80, your inability to put a lid on your obsession with me would put your IQ around 60. Luckily, I have a 140+, and that leaves some room for you around 100.

@Addicted

It’s a good one. Did you take any creative wrting courses, or are you a natural?

How long did it take you to concoct the story? 😉

Addictedsays:

If I tell her I’m not coming when she texts the photos begging, she tells me “okay, well this is not going to work for me; let’s just end it and go our separate ways”

She knows I will say no to that and come and meet her. I guess there are some feelings involved, we became closer when she accompanied me on two 2-day business trips. She is a really lovely girl, and it all feels one hundred percent genuine on her part.

I did not post under KMS because I was kindly and nicely asked to change, so that you would STAY AWAY from the blog, not try and figure out who I am on blog. Nut job.

Jacobsays:

@Midwest

Whole-heartedly agree with your suggestion except for the getting a room part. For weeks I saw the banned KMS posting under “LadyScarlet” and I never commented. I certainly would not have addressed anything to her if not for her initiating ridiculous personal attacks against me.

Midwest, eewwww, you did just make me vomit in my mouth a little, thank man.

He didn’t mean me, erikthe80IQ, he meant get professional help, in general, for your condition. Which is completely insane.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Addicted – WOW…that’s crossing some lines…but, what you permit you promote…we had this discussion with @Kenna a while back because of some demands her SD was making…she worked through them and (I think) still transitioning to bf/gf with her now-former SD.

I agree with @Struggle…if you are NOT entertaining the option to divorce wife and take things to next level with SB, there needs to be a SIGNIFICANT conversation with her about boundaries and expectations.

I have been addicted to the sex with a SB before, but it never impacted the situation at home…I like to think I would have been strong enough to make sure the first time it impacted something at home would be the last…glad I didn’t have to test my strength though!

You were posting under new ID for weeks, and lying today about your not being banned. I’m just not a psychopathic liar like yourself.

Your attitude is a repellent in and of itself. I have no use for it even in a bottle.

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@KMSfiftydifferentlogids and @Erikthebabyfarm. You two need to get a room. No one wants to hear about your petty little immature feud. Post some things about the sugar life. Leave each other alone. Blog clogging can be annoying.

I’m too busy pleasuring my sugar baby to fight like you two.

ErikTheRedsays:

@Josh,

There is no way in hell I’d pick a woman like her to be the mother of my children. I’m very patient with my women and children in my life. In fact part of the reason for the plan is a pre-emptive insurance against women “gone bad” due to hormonal reasons. Notice, her kind of temperament is not just a problem for the man (who wisely divorced her) but also a problem for children growing up.

Kms2014says:

Outing a banned psychopath on blog, with his previously banned fake blog names, such as yourself, is different than your threats to ‘out’ my son and I, in real life, threatening our livelihood….in other words, our real names, not ‘outing’ the sunshinester, on SA blog, as erikthered. If you cannot see the difference in that, then question your IQ being about 80.

If I could bottle SunshineSD repellant that am glad to have with creeps, such as yourself(aka, pyscho repellent), then I would wear every day, sell it and probably make more money than a man paying 100 times more than the national child support average does.

Anyway, @addicted, I think all women know what the power of pussy can do, or sending naughty pics during busy times. It sounds like she is getting more attached, if she is wanting to see you more and more, and during holidays…Are you falling for your SB a little, or is it just purely the sex, and the lack of sex with your wife?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Addicted
Woah buddy. I definitely have no experience with the like. The ony thing I can liken it to is a real-life relationship (not sugar) from my past in which I loved him but knew it was not healthy for me, and so had to force myself to not cave into his efforts to keep me hooked to him. This meant saying goodbye and cutting off all contact, at least for long enough for me to regain my hold on myself and my feelings had subsided to a degree which I could manage. It sucks, it was hard and painful, but it did work. Now I can talk to him and my feelings are completely manageable. I think sometimes that won’t be possible for some people.

It sounds to me that you need to talk to her about the issue and tell her you will have to cut off your relationship with her entirely if she is unwilling to support your situation in a way that works for you. If you have no intentions of divorcing your wife and being with this girl, and she won’t take it down to a comfortable level, you will have to end it completely.

I was quite content keeping the dispute to the blog itself. However KMS brought the matter to the blog management, and made up a whole bunch of lies and mischaraterizations like she always does.

Joshsays:

@SunshineSD last for months then imploded.

@Jacob lasted for a few weeks then imploded.

@Erik lasted for few days then imploded.

You need to reflect on your temper and realize that when you are so irked by a woman on the blog, what kind of baby father you would be when the baby mother drives you nuts, like any breathing woman would do.

You need to hire a team of psychiatrists to help you deal with anger management before you inseminate the next 22-25 year-old.

First off, read up on victim-rescuer-persecutor drama triangle, then have the meetings with the experts.

ErikTheRedsays:

@KMS

You brought your son into the blog yourself. If you want to mischaracterized my plans with co-parenting partners as “exploiting immature women,” then it was only fair to characterize your own confessed bringing your son to meeting SD’s as exploiting your son, a minor at the time. Outside your own delusional mind, you are not the law giver, and dont get to define what is criminal. In fact, your promotion of drug use was quite criminal in most jurisdictions in the US.

Well, there, for someone who was so hell bent when she mistakenly thought someone else wanted to out her. KMS, you are a terrible relationship prospect even if I were mms ot interested in babies.

Addictedsays:

Hello,

I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask a question but here goes.

Have you guys ever had a SB you cannot get rid of?

After being on this site since 2012 and having about 5 very short-term arrangements, I gave up. mid thirties wife started sleeping with me again because we were trying to get pregnant. After 6 months of trying and no luck, she went to a doc and sex stopped unless she was ovulating- and it wasn’t good.

So I found myself back on SA and I met a 22 yr old Sb, let’s call her Ella. She was a very nice, sweet girl and new to this and we got along great, her expectations were below my budget, and even though she was hesitant about being intimate quickly- we got passed that hurdle with the first month and this is where the addiction started to happeN.

I saw her about once per week and we always met in the general vicinity of where I worked, had lunch/dinner and then mind-blowing sex sessions(every time is better than the last).

I could not get enough of her and her delicious pussy, and her texting me a photo of her perfectly shaped pussy drives me crazy and makes me want to drop everything and see her almost immediately.

She quickly realized this and the effect her photos can have on me and started booking hotels on her own 15 mins from my office(she doesn’t know where I work but the general area, and taking photos of herself, texting them to ,e and begging me to come over and fuck her.

This was like a dream come true until it started interfering with ,y personal life, she texted me both on Christmas eve night and New Years eve and I had to make up excuses to leave wife and family to go see her because I couldn’t control myself. She knows exactly what she is doing and it makes me feel guilty and upset after the fact.

It has also affected the almost nonexistent sex life I have wih wife, I can only have sex if I imagine if she is SN while closing my eyes. Couple nights ago wife caught on and asked me to open my eyes while making love to her and my erection went completely dead- something that has never happened to me before.

I don’t think wife is suspicious, just think I’ve been super stressed at work with the cases I’m working on but this is really bothering me. I do not like the hold this SB has on me at all.

Earth to KMS: you are not the only person in the universe. The specific posts were well received by multiple frequent posters who gave several positive replies!

Kms2014says:

There we have it, folks, and Midwest…there you go. From 0 to crazy in less than 60 seconds. To speak about child rape, lying about what I do and referring to someone else’s child on a blog, is criminal, and completely telling of your character, sir, even in the most hypothetical of extreme of circumstances, is completely insane. Do you not see how crazy your posts read?

Now that everyone knows who you are, ‘Erik’, I did what I came to do. To ‘out’ you. I have been on here for months with no trouble at all, until he is back. And,he should not be as he is still banned.

Sorry misslady, and struggles, but perhaps this has saved us all from his long boring posts on utopian baby making societies with sugar babies that he so desperately wants, but yet cannot quite seem to get…

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Erik @KMS

Clearly differences of opinions are going to occur here and I am first to admit that arguing one’s points can get us all fired up and the mud-slinging can get a little carried away. But such is the nature of the blog. We may choose to exit for our reasons or continue to engage. We might be annoyed and pissed as hell over it but that’s where it should stop.
No one needs to bring legal action or threats of such into the mix and/or ‘outing’ anyone here on the blog or to real-life acquaintances.

Leave blog stuff on the blog. Simple as that.

Unless it’s @Chrissy humping all the things. This, I would like to see in real life. 😀

ErikTheRedsays:

“Your bringing” not “your be in”
LOL. Autocorrection has a sense of humor today.

ErikTheRedsays:

@KMS
1. Your self contradiction on whether you read that post of mine is further illustrating my point on your flimsy grasp of reality.
2 . I sent you the cease and desist notice via the blog. You have not received the court order because I have not filed subpoena after you were banned by the management. After I noticed you started posting again under “LadyScarlet,” so long as you were mot defaming me, there was no point suing you, or even addressing you. You see,I’m not obsessed with you, unlike you are obsessed with me.

MissLadysays:

I have died and gone to blog purgatory…

Sucky day to be trying to kill time online

ErikTheRedsays:

Pimping your son would make you guilty of statutory rape, as he was a minor. That’ s what I said: If you wanted to twist what I wrote in the plan as “exploiting immature women,” why dont we characterize you as a rapist of your own son (accessory to rape is guilty of rape) based on your own writings.

Oh, I did not even read that last post. Wow, you hung yourself and showed your true colors sooner than expected….,nsunshine/Jacob/erikthered?

Still never got that cease and desist order…not in financial ruin… 😉 and your posts just show everyone what a nutter you are. Well done!

ErikTheRedsays:

@KMS

You brought your son to the blog discussion yourself. When you falsely accused me of exploiting “immature women” with my plan, I simply asked how you’d feel if your be in your son to meeting SD (you told us that yourself) was characterized as “pimping minor.” Apparently you can dish out but can know ot take it. I never complained to them until they told me about your complaints and asked what was going on. They clearly told me you were banned. So there.

Your earlier accusation of stalking clearly shows that you are a liar, and a dangerous person to associate with in any relationship.

Kms2014says:

Raping* them, I meant. Jacob/ericthered used to bring up the rape of my son, in his twisted arguments, and threaten to find out who I am, where I live, and where my son attends school. So, if that is ‘both at fault’…errmm, okay.

Kms2014says:

To bring children into it* …autocorrect

Kms2014says:

I meant, it is despicable, to being children into any argument on blog, speak of ‘reaping’ them, or threatening to find out their identities.

No one wants to hear about this anymore, Jacob, so save your bruised ego for another day. You were asked to leave by many on this blog, and SA. So, no one cares to hear or read your two page long posts, on babies, or how you were in the right.

I outed you, as that was what I wanted to do. You are banned here, so post at your own risk, but everyone will know who you are and what you are, as you often hang yourself, anyways.

Kms2014says:

I did tease sunshiney, because his opinions on women, age, and procreation and family are so ridiculous, that it is comical.

But really, Midwest, to bring my son and ‘outing’ me, on blog? Sure, we can all tease each other here and get into banter, but to being children into the mix, or threaten to reveal people’s true identity? How is that ‘both at fault’. I teased sunshiney no more than many tease each other on here. However, he is such a nutter that his ego cannot handle it.

Just FYI, I was not banned, but told that SA would prefer that my screen name change so that Jacob/Erik the red would stop calling/emailing them, daily. Proved just now, when I post. I changed my name to be considerate.

Sunshine/Jacob was asked to leave by many on blog as well, but has decided to come back now, since there are so many new bloggers. Maybe, they will not know who he is and the despicable things he used to say about children, when he couldn’t win an argument, so lashed out in a most immature manner possible. Too bad his ego is bigger than his stature, and behavior as a human.

MissLadysays:

… Where’s a Frozen soundtrack when you need one…

*who’s got the popcorn? *

ErikTheRedsays:

@StrugglesReal
Here is a brief summary of what happened:

During blog discussions last spring, I proposed the idea of co-parenting arrangement, with significant details about how it can be carried out in separate households, giving the child a secure and nurturing environment and the woman a comfortable support for fulfilling her biological imperative and launching a career of her own after child is school age. KMS took great offense to my witings because her age in the late 30’s make it impossible for her to be part of the program (both the child making part and the building a career of her own part). Instead of thinking in terms there are plenty other SD’s with different preferences that might find her attractive, she decided to focus on attacking my plan and me with all sorts of made up lies, ranging from mischaracterizing it as a “baby farm” to accusing me of trying to be an absentee father, all of which were clearly contrary to elements of the plan as already presented. For two months, I patiently corrected her misconceptions and lies point by point by citing earlier writings on the plan. Yet she kept repeating old lies and coming up with new ones, even accusing me of using the plan for exploiting young women. I had to conclude those mischaraterizarions were not mere mistakes but deliberate defamation attempts (and there were real life people who knew me reading the blog). So I sent her a Cease and Desist Notice telling her to stop defaming me and illustrated how she would feel if I had put together her earlier writings that would put her in very unfavorable light without even resorting making up things like she was lying about me. Apparently she doesn’t seem to understand that if I have to pursue legal actions and get a court subpoena to find out who she was in order to serve her the legal papers, not only would her sordid writings be in the public court record, but she would be bankrupted and have her future income garnished just to pay for my legal fees.

Today’s accusation of stalking from her clearly illustrates her flimsy grasp of reality and propensity to project her own feelings actions. I did not even address her before she lunched into personal attacks against me. It should be noted that the quality of her writing itself used to be more cogent a few months ago and less frantic than today. Perhaps life has not been kind to her. She has my sympathies. I’m sure she used to be young and beautiful (she may have sent an old photo of hers to Josh and proved that point). Ironically, the more she fights me, the more she is helping me illustrate the point that nobody stays young and beautiful forever. Even sanity and intelligence are flimsy possessions, and slip away under stress and drug use. A formerly beautiful girl can certainly face a stressful life when she stops being the center of the universe. That’s an objective lesson on not just living for the day and hoping it would last forever, but think in terms of how to leverage one’s assets for long term security and happiness.

MissLadysays:

Lol @struggles, it’s OK, fortunately today I have an affinity for bananas

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@StruggleIsReal I am pretty sure that was directed to Sunshinesd/Erikthered.

Those two fought all the time last year on the blog. It got so bad that their screen names were banned. Both were at fault. The phrase baby farm was overused quite a bit by both of them. Along with 20x national median income/child support. I used to play a drinking game on the blog. I would do a shot of vodka every time these words were posted. I got drunk pretty quick and stopped playing the game after one try. Lol.

Struggles, eriktheyellowbelliedcoward likes to ‘threaten’ to sue women and also threaten to ‘out’ their identities to family, friends, and the court system, if they disagree with him.

Funny, I heard that you were the one constantly harassing, emailing them of ‘complaints’. Loser. And liar, too.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Elaine
I understand getting sick of a certain tone that the blog can take on. But I enjoy your blog posts, find them fair and a wonderful contribution, and hope you won’t really leave. But if you do, I’d love to stay in touch. StruggleIsReal02 at gmail

@All
I have no idea what is going on. Obviously some backstory that I am unaware of.

@Chrissy
Hot gravitar babe!

ErikTheRedsays:

@KMS / LadyScarlet / K

You harassed them to get me banned.
You couldn’t resist the urge to post here despite the ban.
You are stalking me on the blog.

Stop projecting. I did not even address you this time until you attacked me. Just like last time, they didn’t even hear anything from me until they sent me email telling me of your complaints; then one email from me to them citing your previous posts verbatim was quite enough to get you banned.

Ksays:

@sunshinesd/jacobshineyhiney aka Eriktheyellow

I was not banned, due to bad behavior, but due to YOU harassing them, at seeking arrangement, in order to have me banned, just because you were. You are apparently a person with quite a lot of time on your hands, since I was told that you would not leave them alone.

Your accusations and threats to sue are still pretty crazy…I really don’t need to say much about those, as that speaks for itself, if one is crazy enough to try and sue people off a blog for defamation of character(blog character, that is, lol), when your made up character(s) keeps changing, due to your banning. Is it SunshineSD this week, Jacob, or Eriktheyellow?

ErikTheRedsays:

@LadyKMScarlet,
You were banned indefinitely due to bad behavior, yet that did not stop you from coming back. LOL. I did not stalk you this time; did not even address your posts in violation of your ban. Your allegations regarding threatening to out you were equally erroneous. I made a legal request for you to stop defaming me, and told you if I have to file court subpoena to serve you the legal papers you will be outed as a consequnce of the legal process as court records would be visible to your kid’s school and other parents.. The purpose is so that I do not have to go through that to stop your defamation campaign against me and out you as a side effect.

I don’t even know what your beef is with my type of sugar approach. Co-parenting arrangement is probably the most expensive way of getting sex: the most outlay for the least sex in return. However, IMHO, for a real SD with sufficient resources, it is the approach that decades later will be most satisfying when one is reviewing one’s life. For SB’s, it’s also the most likely way to secure long term financial commitment from the man.

Please bring me a cheeseburger as payment to stare at my tits and feet. I may share if you’re a good boy.

Ksays:

So, you are trying or attempting to stalk certain bloggers? the reason you did not post on blog for so long is because you were BANNED from blog, indefinitely, for your crazy behavior of threatening to find, stalk and ‘out’ other posters to child services and their families. Not to mention the horrible and disgusting things you said. No one wants to hear your baby making schemes on here. This is a blog for sugar arrangements, not your sounding board to speak about co parenting with a bunch of SBs that is apparently never going to happen, anyways.

First, because this is a sort of reviewsite for sexworkers, and SA now seems to be considered as such.
Second, because the tone here on blog is getting more or less in the same direction as the comments on that site.

This is not MY sugarworld, and I don’t feel in any way related to this.

In my last 2 years of blogging, I have shared some of my own experiences, tried to make some counterweight to (especially) age and allowance comments and have tried to advice and encourage some other female bloggers.

I participated in -sometimes heated- discussions and gave my blunt opinions, but always tried to do that in an educated way, without name calling or vulgar attacks.

My postings have been less frequent last months, I lost my appetite when I found how fantasywriting, full of inconsistencies, was easily accepted as truth, and truth was without any consideration whiped off the table and called fantasywriting.
Another thing that started stopping me from reacting is the constant repeating of ignorant and negative vision on women and relationships.

As I said, it has nothing in common anymore with my (sugar) world.

I am a 45y old divorced single mum, a succesful mistress and get allowances and support from my SDs that a lot of young SBs can only dream of.
My 2 longterm SDs are attractive, very high net worth gentlemen.
One much younger, the other one only few years my major.
They are both mentoring me and have helped me to set up a new business, so I will be financially independent in 5 years, when I will not “sugar” anymore.

“Fantasywriting”, some would prefer to think…
For this reason, I have hardly mentioned anything about my SDs on blog.
But now I don’t really care what people think anymore.
I am getting too old for that.
Believe me, or don’t, up to you.

Would I have read opinions here before making my profile, I wouldn’t have even started, most probably I would have been discouraged before even beginning….

It seems like it is all about 18/20 y hotties, and “8″ and “10′s” or P4P “arrangements” and getting as much sex, for as few money, possible.
But SBs, please don’t believe this is representing sugar!
Sugar comes in all sorts, and it is very narrowminded and shortvisioned to call everything outside your own limited world “fantasy” or “wrong”.

My life is very much in order now, and 2015 will be a very exciting and busy year, I am very much looking forward to.

It is time to leave this blog.

I will keep in contact off blog with people I like to interact with, and the rest I wish all the best!

Elaine xxx

ErikTheRedsays:

@LadyKMScarlet,
No need to project. I was quite content reading the blog and not posting when I saw you failing to suppress the urges to post in the past few weeks. I did not attack you personally; did not even bother to post.

When the baby topic was eventually brought up by Kenna and StrugglesAreReal, I had a real hard time coming up with a username, so picked Red in honor of your Scarlet. 😉

As for baby farm, it was never part of any plan. And frankly after seeing the links that Josh has brought, I’m glad the idea of co-parenting arrangement is going mainstream. With the collapse of price for sex in the past half decade thanks to the collapse and inversion of gender income differential, co-parenting arrangement may well become the dominant form of arrangement in dollar terms.

Well, all that marriage and baby talk was too much for him to resist….it is like that creepy scary story of when you mention his ‘name’, a few times, then he appears.

ErikTheRedsays:

@LadyKMScarlet,

Yes, “liability” is the technical term given to alimony and children support payment when bankers analyze the ex-husband’s balance sheet. Frankly I don’t even mind the fixed liability associated with raising children. The bigger problem is the opportunistic unknown quantity associated with alimony and division of assets.

An even biggerliability is of biological origin: the hormonal imbalance and consequent emotional whirlwind at menopause is well documented. It was an evolutionary appendage from cavemen time for the woman to signal the rest of the tribe that she is now a net resource sink. It was her last measure of self-sacrifice to ensure limited resources are spent on her offspring instead of her. The genes carrying that trait had evolutionary advantage. Of course, it would be cruel to cut off a modern women in term of resources, and a modern woman has plenty value in terms of professional skills if she has any. That’s why I advocate solving the problem a couple decades earlier: taking care of her biological imperative, then taking care of her career development, leaving the difficult personality period to be handled at arm’s length and hopefully her career success at that point will distract her from various “unhappy” feelings.

@Chrissy
You do have daddy issues. Because your Daddy left you to join the darkside. Come join the darkside with ONSD and me and we will conquer the universe together. (and have fun doing it).

Ksays:

SunshineSD, or Jacob, now ‘erikthered’ lol!

Ksays:

” With a continuous 30+ years career span after her biological imperative is taken care of, she can have it all instead of becoming a failure and the husband’s long term liability after her menopause.”

Long term liability to her husband after menopause? Is that really how you view women or the potential mother of your child?

Co parenting initiatives? Divorced by now looking for long term baby mamma, from SA? Women done by 25? When will the baby farm speak ensue? Eriikthered? That must be meant to be ironic! Hahaha! Why don’t you tell us who you really are, erikthenanook?

Glad you were not the only one who noticed, Josh!

ErikTheRedsays:

The problem with long marriage of indefinite duration is that under the current legal framework, it’s nearly impossible for the husband to maintain leadership if he is not some kind of psychopath/sociopath, especially if the husband is rich enough that the wife has a big pot of gold to look forward to at divorce. A well established man can not afford to risk entanglement with the law, so the wife gets away with whatever she wants, and she resents him for it. Whereas in unmarried or divorced state, the man can threat to withhold voluntary contributions that are beyond legal requirements, thereby keeping the woman on best behavior, and the woman loves him for it. Go figure

On top of that, I was poisoned by feminist sensitivity training in my college and grad school years. When I’m getting naked with someone, I have an urge to treat her as equal and relate to her as equal. Of course that is not appealing to most women. I can suppress that urge for a while (sometimes years) but eventually I get tired of being the only grown up in the family. When I stop fucking a woman, I can play her “daddy” much better, but she’d better already have made a real baby for me by that time for me to keep her on the payroll.

Fuck!!!

I forgot my megaphone!!!!!!

I can’t go back for it….it’s too late to go back for it! Point of no return!!!!

ErikTheRedsays:

@yagotta

Thanks. I was married for about a decade, now divorced for half a decade. The ex-family dynamics is happier and more content than 80% of those married years.

I was against marrying again before seeing this Sawhill article ( thanks Josh) proposing fixed duration marriages. I might be willing make the concession on those terms.

The ideal arrangement for me is something starting off relatively casual then gradually escalate as each qualifies the other, eventually leading to a co-parenting arrangement, where the child will have a nurturing environment to grow up, and the mother will have substantial financial support to raise the child and build a career of her own after the child goes to school. With a continuous 30+ years career span after her biological imperative is taken care of, she can have it all instead of becoming a failure and the husband’s long term liability after her menopause.

“Is there actual talk of a Chicago event, or is that just @YGBKM teasing all the midwest guys?

I think if enough of us pray to the Sugar Gods, and enough SDs (pockets so deep, but that ain’t no roll of quarters) voices are heard, they will surely consider. Maybe even provide a fancy chocolate fountain with Costco cakes. Sugary ;).

K!

[puts on 3 sports bras, grabs megaphone, runs to the mountain top]

Deeeeear SkyDaddyyyyy….we are unworthy of your grace, and far less worthy for you to open up the gates into Guru’s kingdom. But in the name of sugar, pleeeease let the ball be in Chicagooooo!!!!!

Welcome and thanks for sharing. It seems like you’ve put a lot of consideration into a partnership that will work for you.

How long were you married, if you don’t mind?

Would you consider marrying again? What would be your ideal arrangement?

Chrissysays:

I have noticed an increase of guys aged 30-35 messaging me and I would not say that is a welcomed change since they try to use that as part of their negotiation tactics since “We are so close in age and I am so much more attractive!”
Oh but didn’t anyone tell you I have daddy issues, just ask ATL 😉

DomSBsays:

“What she holds is an option with expiration date. 22-25 is literally the peak of a woman’s sex appeal……… at 25 she is running out of time …….. By delaying, she would drastically increase the risk of getting dumped in a few years, or having difficult child birth from which one can not fully recover then make sex life difficult and then get dumped.”

My God, is this meant serious?

Please tell you were only joking, or otherwise tell us from what planet you are landed here?

The sour taste and vengefulness comes into play when you expect something to be there forever and is no more.

Similar model has been discussed by another blogger in the past, and is being suggested by Sawmill in the article I provided the link for above.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

@Amused – Welcome to the “new” SA profile for the ‘average’ SB!

It’s why I haven’t renewed my membership, even though I’m still looking for a SB…

@Xero and @Dazed – When I finally looked at my email notifications and then logged into the site, I ONLY got a dozen emails in the week plus I’ve been disconnected…either the marketing machine has started to slow down, or there are more throw-away profiles on here than I first thought!

ErikTheRedsays:

As for amicability, for most men of this type, it is more circumstance-dependent than indivual-dependent: so long as he has significant assets and income besides what’s promised to her, so long as he is not cut off from visitation rights and continued influence as the father, there is very little reason for such a rational person not to make the split amicable, especially since he will have plenty options with other girls afterwards. After all, he is not a drug dealer with street cred to worry about.

Sure, if he were already divorced and supporting his ex-wife generously, that would be even better indication that he will be there amicably and supportive when the eventual split comes. But one has to work with what’s given. Life is about making choice taking chances. Not making a choice is also a choice, especially one is sitting on perishable assets.

ErikTheRedsays:

@Dazed
That’s why it is far more advantageous to Kenna to have the co-parenting arrangement discussed now and put down in writing, instead of just letting it happen or not happen. It is far better to discuss the terms of the eventual split when still on good terms instead of difficult times.

What she holds is an option with expiration date. 22-25 is literally the peak of a woman’s sex appeal. Most women wish those 3 years can last a life time, but they do not. If what you said about 2 years not being enough to know someone, then at 25 she is running out of time especially given that she is planning on staying with him for a long time. By delaying, she would drastically increase the risk of getting dumped in a few years, or having difficult child birth from which one can not fully recover then make sex life difficult and then get dumped. There is no saying a child would come along right away as soon as the couple start trying. While I agree that Kenna should give the issue more thought, but outright dismissal or delaying is definitely not in her own best interest. At 25 and planning on staying with the same man for a long time ( which means she is quite happy with him), delaying would run the risk of never having children in her life and the relationship ending at some point with nothing for her ( and not having children may well be the reason for ending especially if he wants children). Nobody stays at 25 forever.

Chrissysays:

I love men who pay me for my misguided advice while they stare at my tits, too bad I can’t do it over the internet.

Dazed-SDsays:

@Kenna, “For example, he won’t tell me I can’t do something/go somewhere, he’d say he wants to know where I’m going and who I’m going with. This maybe because he sees me as a GF and not a SB now but this is all new teritory to me so I’m unsure.

On the other hand, he involves me more in decision-making now which is also a bit shocking for his personality type. ”

This is exctly what I’m talking about, you don’t truly know him yet to be making a life long decision.

@erik @Dazed
You are talking mostly from the man’s perspective. An ex-wife is mostly a liability, especially financially, whereas a rich ex-husband amicably divorced (if ever that comes to pass) is an asset.

True, from a financial standpoint. However, theres one huge word in your reply that is never certain, AMICABLY, it’s possible but unlikely. Especially with a man who’s probably used to getting his way. Lets face it, men who have never been married and have no children by age late 40’s, are used to having things their way ! LOL

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Amazed
What in the actual fuck ?! Hahahaha

@ATL
Hahahaha That was the best summary ever!

@YGBKM
Omg. Thank you for reposting that but plug comment!! I never did get to see it! Lmao and now it is 5:40am and I am picturing your friend’s partner walking around all day with that thing in…: oh my. Hahahah Is that the actual function of those things? To be worn all day ? I have much to learn. Hahaha

Man checking this blog in a random early morning wake up moment was completely worth it! Thanks for the laughs guys!

AmusedSDsays:

This is the most delusional profile I’ve ever seen:
21 year old woman:

About Me
My name is [Name} and I have 2 adorable babies, [Kid 1] 3, and [Kid 2] 1, they are my whole world. I enjoy spending most of my time with my kids, reading to them, teaching them and playing with them. But at the end of the day when my kids are asleep, I like to take a little mommy time and enjoy a nice long bubble bath, light some candles and just relax.

What I’m looking for
I am looking for someone I can talk to ONLINE, I have two children to take care of so not only is meeting up not an option for me its not a risk I can take as well. I want a man or woman I feel a connection to on a mental and emotional level, capable of holding a decent conversation that revolves around more than whats going on in your pants. (Sorry, not interested.) I like substance in my conversations and I love giving advice. I am also seeking a mentor, someone who I can vent to and receive a little understanding from. I am going through a rough time financially right now and trying to take care of to babies is difficult all on my own. So I need someone who can help to take care of us financially in return for good conversation and spending time together over the internet.

Wow…..

SexyRockstarsays:

Because i’ll be there…they will know to have some aside for me

“SexyRockstar says:
January 4, 2015 at 9:11 pm
@ygbkm

Come over girl, I made some dip for Chips. I have more then just Old Style in my fridge!!!”

Ha! I really have to try this Old Style you speak of. Can you sneak some into the Sugarball? If you get busted, just tell them it was intended to be an offering to our Lord Guru. They will shudder at the mere utterance of his holy name.

Thanks @YGBKM – I think I needed that 😉

I have given and controlled vibrating panties on a SB in the past…that was fun at lunch 😉

“ATL SD says:

…The best thing that happened is @struggles new avatar and Lainey bought ygbkm a butt plug. Or something like that.”

Hahaha. How is it that you can say butt plug, and Josh can say dildo 27 times, yet my post about Lainey’s buttplug gets moderated?

Here, I present you with an edited version of the original post that the Gods might approve of. I hope I don’t get in trouble…I always get in trouble. How come no one else gets in trouble? Rackism, I tell ya! Don’t spank me, Sean. Actually, please spank me, but don’t punish Lainey’s buttplug. Please, kind sir.

Lainey says:
December 30, 2014 at 1:36 pm
Tried a butt plug for the first time last night. #YoureWelcome

That is the most beautiful thing Ive heard all month. Thank you for sharing. I hope it’s not weird that I’m picturing you wearing a [holyplug] while using your new vacuum cleaner, cooking a lovely Mediterranean meal, and taking a break to jump on the trampoline in your yard. It’s never too cold out to jump on a trampoline, is it? Are you still wearing the [holyplug]? I say try it on with a pair of platform shoes if you haven’t already distributed them all. I think it’d look nice with a pair that has light-up heels.

Knew a dom guy who would have his sub partner wear one all work-day long. [A$$ prep], I think. No platforms, though. She wasn’t a platforms kinda girl.

I missed you too @Sexy…very difficult to get through the holidays without my Suga Sista!

SexyRockstarsays:

@online

send me her profile ID. HAHAHA. I miss you

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

Yeah…I finally got to looking through a search again…new profile since the first of the year…I can’t believe she would BRAG about the way she carries a 170 pound body at 5’3″ and think that someone seeing ‘average’ in the description would continue to read!

Once you open the flood gates, there’s no turning back. Save yourselves, already! The sirens have sounded!!!

ATLSDsays:

@ONSD. YO BRO welcome back.
You haven’t missed a thing And don’t scroll back in the blog or you will get sucked back into the abyss. The best thing that happened is @struggles new avatar and Lainey bought ygbkm a butt plug. Or something like that.

ErikTheRedsays:

Distance keeps the heart fonder. What I find is that, it is damn hard to maintain constant leadership in a day to day relationship where I’m supposed to be intimate with the person and share what I have unconditionally, as opposed to where I’m supposed to be the boss and profit from their labor. It’s much easier to maintain respect from the ex-wife than it was to secure her respect at all time during the marriage.

SexyRockstarsays:

@Erik
“Given that women are hypergamous by nature, underachieving male can not long retain the love (respect) of his partner, two young adults living together raising a child eeking by have very high failure rate”

Well, about ME. I was the bread-winner in my household. I have 2 kids, and my ex is FANTASTIC and loving with the kids, and didn’t indirectly piss me off, we had pretty solid team work. It wasn’t until I had asked him if he would be willing to look for a better job, so I can be home more with the kids and really work on my comedy career. He wouldn’t work with me. He is 5 years older then me and I finally left him. He wasn’t willing to help me with my goals, and it’s not like he had to go get some fancy ass job, he is still working part time at a Radio Shack! HAHAHA.

I chose to leave because he was still going to be a dad, just not my life-long partner in a loving relationship. Still to this day, he will still hold the fact I am successful in comedy right now over my head.

I’ve been in the SugarBowl for awhile now, in between break ups and such. It’s lead to me what I do now: work less (I make more money now HAHAHA) way more time with my kids, they go to dads house on weekends and I work on comedy. I was just in Vegas not that long ago.

I am in my 20’s, a kick ass mother, great job, great Sugar Daddy, and I continue on my comedy shit. Needless to say, I am FUCKING awesome. At least I wasn’t stupid enough to get married at a young age. OOhhhhh the horror.

Sean…please can the next Sugarball be where GuruGod Josh lives? Yes…I suppose that would be heaven. Unless Guru is a modern Guru…a land dweller among mere mortals.

Hold tight, babe…It’s gonna be a hard sell, but I’m workin’ on it.

OnlineNewbieSDsays:

Happy Sugar Year to all…sorry I’ve been missing, but with family and friends in town celebrating…just couldn’t pull myself away to get to the blog…I’m back…but I’m probably NOT going to get caught up with all that happened, so, if you had a question or something for me, better bring it back to my attention!

Hope everyone is “sweet”…

ErikTheRedsays:

The kid needs plenty face time with either mother or father or both, but they do not have to live under the same roof. The kid can be living with either mother or father or a central location where the kid stays and the mother and father go to when it is her/his turn to be with the child. When both parents are not seeing someone else, they can even go on vacations together.

That still keeps the benevolent, biological father out of child rearing, which seems to be required to raise healthy kids, no?

Joshsays:

My apologies babe. No can do sugar parties unless they are nearby.

ErikTheRedsays:

@Josh
Sawmill touched on a solution: predefined duration for marriage. The article mentioned 5 years of pre-arranged duration. I’d say any duration between 5 to 10 is reasonable. The first husband from 20 to 25~30 is most likely the biological father of her kids, so has the responsibility of paying for her kids and her advanced degrees, as well as a child support payment that benefit her and her later households. The later husbands can take care of the dishes and making her happy at much much lower cost, perhaps even living off her and her payment from the first husband. Works out for everyone, the kids, the lady, the overachievers and the underachievers. Both the women and the men get some guaranteed sex before losing interest and some variety. More women also get to take a crack at the top 20% male while the bottom 80% male who really just want sex without parental burden also get their wish.

Catch a glimpse at the Chicago Sugarball, maybe. ATL will only go if Guru does. Bless us with your presence, will ya?

The Sugarball will be in Chicago…yeah, Sean??

StruggleIsRealsays:

@ygbkm
Well then, your rack is actually more perfect than I had previously imagined. In my personal opinion, that is the best size, especially when you take longevity and life activities into consideration. LoL

The question is how to cultivate the cadre of women who buy into such model, and stick to the gameplan, without kicking their benevolent husband balls every time they get an opportunity?

ErikTheRedsays:

@Josh

Excellent link. The winning solution is right under her nose, her own life experience: getting married and have kid(s) in her early 20’s, so having time to pursue advanced degrees and a stellar professional career span decades with the support of the kid’s dad, who had a higher paying career to bankroll the kid and her education. Once the reproductive phase was done and paid for by the kid’s father, she had 4 continuous decades of freedom to pursue her professional interest.

How don’t I approach it that way?

What are you butting into my business mangina?”

Because it’s written all over the blog, genius (not to be mistaken for Guru, of course).

ErikTheRedsays:

This is a note for Kenna’s SD/BF:

1. You have a lovely and smart girl there, congrats.

2. A lovely and feminine girl like her also comes with traits common to almost all women: she is attracted to you because of your confidence and leadership qualities. Everything we learned in college sensitivity training in the last two decades of the last century were lies: a woman who loves you does not want to be your equal partner in decision making; she needs to be able to look up to you. Consulting her is not sexy, showing her how the sausage is made is not sexy, mate guarding is not sexy. You don’t need to take up drug dealing for hobby, but if you become all fuzzy and feely, she may well step out on you and take up with a sociopathic drug dealer, despite all the terrible consequences to her own life. It would make her FEEL better and feel dominated by a worthy man. So if you want what’s good for her and what’s good for yourself, stop being her equal as BF, get back to being her boss.

3. If the baby happens, it happens. If it still has not happened by the time she turns 28, or if she gets pregnant by someone else, it’s not meant to be, and you will be free to trade her in for a younger model. Such is life, you tried.

Re: Marriage.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Ygbkm
Unless one of us can manage a make zygote, if I’m gonna reproduce, seems we will need a sperm somewhere along the way. However this is all a hypothetical right now. But makes for good rumination.

StruggleIsRealsays:

Aight now @FunDude I was all impressed with your mighty morphing attitude rangerness but don’t you dare say my @ygbkm has a mangine. That may very well be the future co-mom of my/our babies. I want smart ones with fantastic racks. I see these qualities in her. 😀

Bahaha…I just spit out my gravy!!!!

Yeeeeeeah right, ‘Dude!!!

Struggle!!!

Does that mean we’re gonna go donor shopping?!?!?!

KennaKennasays:

@Erik I do want to be with him long-term and see myself being with him for a really long time. I have not seriously thought about kids and I guess I’m hoping he changes his mind/stop bringing it up.

@Dazed yes roughly two years. I think I’m going to just monitor how controlling he is- it’s more possessive than controlling though. For example, he won’t tell me I can’t do something/go somewhere, he’d say he wants to know where I’m going and who I’m going with. This maybe because he sees me as a GF and not a SB now but this is all new teritory to me so I’m unsure.

On the other hand, he involves me more in decision-making now which is also a bit shocking for his personality type.

ErikTheRedsays:

If 2years is not enough to decide whether someone qualifies as a co-parenting partner, the woman would need to start dating the one she ends up choosing before she is 25: 3years to date before deciding, 5+ months for trying and 9 months of pregnancy, and she is already approaching 30! When the first child is born!

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Dazed
It’s too early for her (Kenna)?

ErikTheRedsays:

@Dazed
You are talking mostly from the man’s perspective. An ex-wife is mostly a liability, especially financially, whereas a rich ex-husband amicably divorced (if ever that comes to pass) is an asset.

Dazed-SDsays:

@Kenna, you been seeing him for roughly 2 years ? If thats the case my experience has told me, thats not nearly long enough to make a life long committement with him. Most people have the idea, that divorce/separation means they don’t have to deal with the EX, NOT True, if you have the childs best interest at heart, it’s a life long commitment by both of you.

You’ve already said, he is changing lately to be more controlling, thats a BIG Red Flag of the things to come.

Now I do totally understand his wanting a child at this point in life, but again, in my humble opinion, to early.

resop2says:

Phrases that no SD wants to hear:

“That’s just my baby daddy.”

any more?

ErikTheRedsays:

In NYC, and other big college towns with gaggles of 18-22 year olds coming in all the time trying their luck, a 28yo will need more than just her own looks and personality to keep a high caliber man like you have there, Kenna.

ErikTheRedsays:

@Kenna,
You have a smart cookie there. Consider the possibility that he is reading this blog. Your earlier contemplation about stepping out on him before discovering the blue pill may have spooked him and jolted him into thinking through really long term relationship with you. Therefore the meeting the family and baby making etc..

Let me put it this way: if there is no baby, do you see yourself still being with him 3 yrs from now? If yes, it would be in your best interest to have a kid with him now and lock in your value. Woman’s peak reproductive age is actually much earlier than what the mainstream propaganda leads most women to believe. You will be in a much weaker negotiating position at 28.

KennaKennasays:

@Erik

He is in his late 40s; he says he wants to have a kid soon as he doesn’t want to have a kid in high school when he is 70.

I have told him I have not thought about the idea of kids and he is just springing this on me. He did something last night that he’s never done before- he came inside of me- we almost had a fight about it because I’ve told him I am transitioning from the pill to IUD.

He is being quite strange, not sure if it’s a bad thing or good thing as he is being more generous than normal but also becoming very controlling(but not in an aggressive way).

Xerosays:

Impossible to keep up with this blog. There are a thousand posts every time I come in.

Where you do you people get all of this TIME??

Xerosays:

@SouthernSD “It’s tied up with equal pay because if a woman is in an abusive relationship and she cannot at least make the same money as a man, then she may not think that she cannot support her children when she finally makes that step to get out. The number one reason that women don’t leave is the fact that they are afraid they will have to leave their children.”

I see and understand your correlation now though I do not agree with it.

“I thought that women in this country were awarded custody of the kids in 99% of divorce/break ups unless the woman was an unfit mother.”

Yes, and this is why I disagree with Southern’s statements. As I have noted, the reason why women are usually hesitant to leave an abusive situation falls under one of two categories. Most of the times they are too physically ($) comfortable to remove themselves from the abuse and the remainder of the times the woman is afraid for her physical safety.

Equal pay for equal work generally has nothing to do with either of these scenarios.

ErikTheRedsays:

Him* autocorrection error

ErikTheRedsays:

@Kenna

Men , especially well established men, tend to know clearly how they feel about having kids with a specific woman. Men do not want to have kids with women whom they do not wish to keep for the long term. That probably explains why he was adamantly against having kids at the beginning. He did not know enough about you yet, and obviously did not wish to be baby-jacked. When he decided that he wanted you to give him a baby, he essentially decided that you are a long term keeper.

You probably want to work out some details with her, such as setting aside trust fund or income generating assets for your child. If he pledges assets with income stream instead of marriage, how many years do you grant him the first right of refusal to marry you? Also, if he is approaching 60 or beyond, there might need a clause for marriage when his death is eminent and if you guys are still together, so that you will pay less inheritance tax. A plan to keep in mind for both just in case, as any severe medical condition can be stressful and you don’t want to be having those discussions after it happens.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Josh
Oh thank God. My mom is not trying to kill me after all

ErikTheRedsays:

@SR
Yes, co-parenting arrangements are arrangements. Even marriage itself was originally a type of arrangement to begin with: as in arranged marriage carried out by parents of the prospect couples. As the government puts a bigger and bigger footprint on what marriage is and how it ought to be, and thereby making it less and less workable just like everything else the sticky hand touches, it’s quite possible that we will continue to see more co-parenting arrangements replacing where there would have been marriages if not for the perverse incentives / poison pills that the government insist on attaching to what it sanctions as Marriage 2.0

@FunDude
It is also helpful if you don’t say I am but like The Penguin. Lmao
Penguins are adorable and do not deserve such a correlation. Haha 😉

StruggleIsRealsays:

@FunDude
It is helpful for me when you say it nicer. LoL

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Josh
My mom is trying to kill me? Oh no This is bad news for me.
To a degree, I can agree with you. As much as I love my mom, I do not appreciate some if her bitching about my dad. However at a very early age I acquired my own cognitive powers and have made a concerted effort to disallow anyone else’s relationships or feelings about others to guide my own.
My mom is smart and loving and very supportive but I in no way consider her thoughts to be the holy grail of anything. As I have stated, if anything, I have influenced hers more than she has mine.

Someone told me at an early age to not be spoon-fed, not even from him, not my parents , not no one 😉

Joshsays:

*from her guy.

Joshsays:

@StruggleIsReal

“My momma is my best friend, and that is the truth, not just something nice to say.”

Many mothers are best friends to their daughters and worst enemies of her relationship with a man.

Why? First, female advice to deal with a man is disastrous to start of with.

In the mother-daughter case, take the additional level of trust the daughter has of her mother. Mix it with real or perceived “torture” mother claims to have received for decades in the hands of the father and the real or perceived “torture” daughter claims to have received for her guy.

@ Struggle

Nothing has really changed in my opinion.

Just am saying it nicer lol

StruggleIsRealsays:

*disgusted

StruggleIsRealsays:

@FunDude
Your tone has changed remarkably since your arrival on the board. Maybe it was your crass language or embedded jabs that threw me off before, but I find myself not completely disused with you posts lately. What is happening?? It is a full moon or so I’ve been told. Bahaha

@Kenna
Maybe you should get him one of those babies they use to teach middle and high-school students about parenthood? LoL
Or borrow @ATL’s daughter?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Josh
Thanks for the link.

I know you posted it for Kenna, but If I ever decide I definitely want to have a child, and the two currently willing & available zygote / co-parent options who I approve of become unavailable, and no other approved options materialize, I just may consult this site.

I’m actually thrilled that this is now becoming a viable thing. My poor mother, when I informed her (when I was in middle school), that I would probably never marry and might have kids but only if it made incredible logical sense and I felt that I could actually create and foster an immaculate human being… I think I was sent to a therapist not too long after. Lmao. I still remember the restaurant and exactly her response. To her credit, she tempered it well, but I could feel it.

Now, I will say though, she is completely, entirely on board with my way of thinking. She now does not consider herself a Christian and has become an amazing woman, more herself than she ever has been. My momma is my best friend, and that is the truth, not just something nice to say.

That leads to no harsh feeling and doesn’t allow for anyone to be “used” because there is no opportunity for someone to get screwed over.

The mistake men make is give a woman a month’s worth of allowance after first meeting her, only to have her “disappear” after getting this money.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Kenna
Is he good with kids? Have you observed him with them at all?
Do you feel he would be a wise zygote and co-parent choice for your potential future child(ren) ?
If that’s too personal for the blog, no worries.

Joshsays:

@Kenna,

Unless you are volunteering, here is one possibility for him.

[]http://tinyurl.com/oqouvm9[]

KennaKennasays:

@Erik great post!

You listed many of the reasons why I’ve only ever dated older successful, financially secure men. My SD is at the point in his life where he is comfortable and has everything he wants except a child.

He keeps bringing up the topic of kids and how he now wants at least one in his life. This has been shocking to me because in the first year of relationship, he was adamant about never having kids or getting married.

@Dan2206
Do you list a specific dollar amount that you will pay per date, weekly, or monthly in your actual profile?

StruggleIsRealsays:

I agree with you, from my own limited experience. I’ve never been married and I don’t have any kids, but not because I haven’t had the opportunity or felt the tug of biology or my own emotions, but because I have made a conscious choice not to in various situations because of many of the very reasons you detailed.

I have arrived feeling similarly, that the best bet for all parties involved, IF I ever decide to actively procreate or raise a child, would be with an older man who is financially established, who I would recognize traits in that I value (stability, kindness, good example of masculinity, smart, etc.) and have an up-front agreement and understanding of the various roles which we both would fulfill in the in the lives of the child(ren).

Sounds a lot like an “arrangement” and in fact I’d argue that it is one. No surprise I’m writing this here on the website of this blog

Regardless of whether I agree or disagree though, I am just really interested in various ideas and opinions. I just happen to feel similarly as you do on this.

Interesting posts…thanks for sharing.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@ATL
Hahaha Is it really a full moon?! I literally was wondering that yesterday!

ErikTheRedsays:

@SR
Children need:
1. Safety, security and resources
2. Face time from parents (love and doting)
3. Rational discipline (learning to behave well)
4. Good gender role models, both for the child him/herself as well as counter-party expectations.

Given that women are hypergamous by nature, underachieving male can not long retain the love (respect) of his partner, two young adults living together raising a child eeking by have very high failure rate. A much more secure child rearing environment is one between an older established man and a younger woman pairing for the explicit purpose of having children. The man would have the resources to let the mother take time off from her career, and the woman would be young enough to recover from child birth quickly. If she is into professional careers of her own, she would also have 30+ years to build a continuous career to build one of her own after the kids go to school instead of having a decade long interruption after the first decade of entry level jobs then
have to look for entry level jobs again after children are old enough to go to school in her 40’s and wondering why her male colleagues from a decade earlier are now her boss’s bosses.

That relationship would also make most women happy by having someone to look up to in the relationship and therefore want to stay in the relationship (wives account for 70-80% of divorce filings).

Whether such a relationship should involve government sanctioned marriage, or co-parenting arrangement without the marriage paper, is highly dependent on individual situations as well as local family laws. The overall guiding principle should be that the woman and children be well taken care of in case of a split, yet not enough financial incentive for the woman to seek a split just because she is “bored” or “unhappy.” Women
tend to devalue what they already have and see the grass on the other side as greener. There are biological reasons for such behavior pattern. There is a reason why nowadays high income and high net worth men are reluctant to get married: under current laws in the US and UK the wealth becomes perverse incentive for divorce filing by the wife, especially when she is encouraged by all her “crabs in a bucket” friends who secretly try to drag her down; that’s why one of the most important quality in long
term female partner is her ability to communicate with her partner calmly even during stress and conflict without becoming adversarial. Otherwise, all her smarts and eloquence are liabilities not assets to the man. She will have plenty crabby “friends” and
divorce lawyers that try to turn her adversarial so they can all get a cut or move her down a few pegs.

As you can see, the typical Feminist archetype of a career-first woman that wears the pants in the family is not only unrealistic for everyone’s happiness (including her own), but also disastrous if ever tried. Our age is not the first time Feminism was tried. The same shtick was tried in late Roman and late Greek times. The result was inevitably demographic collapse because feminism is hostile environment to children. Back 1600 years ago, a bunch of religious fanatics then showed up to clean their clock. Those religious fanatics were called “Christians.” Hypatia’s horrendous death had 100+ years of feminism causing open minded
Romans being out-bred by the religious fanatics behind it. If we do not embrace some version of Procreative Humanism to encourage and
incentivize young women to have more children in healthy and nurturing environment, our own future generations will be surrounded by religious fanatics that use violence to keep women heads covered, barefoot and pregnant. Then it would be the dark ages all over again.

ATLSDsays:

@struggles
“Right ATL”

It’s a full moon. The earth is not in alignment right now. Me go drink firewater!

Joshsays:

@ATLSD

“I hate the overly excessive chasing types. They think its funny I suppose and get off on that its a game that never ends. tells me they lack self confident.”

It may not be entirely their fault, per se. Cosmo and other women “advise” them to play such games to get respect of a man. That is in lieu of focusing on developing themselves to gain genuine respect from men as well as women.

Joshsays:

“The reason woman likes a new man is because the mistakes the current man has made months/years ago in dealing with her cumulatively weigh down on her like a horror movie as she cannot forget them and vocally and silently regurgitates them until the man is no more or she has ripped his liver out.

The reason man likes a new woman is because he gets to fuck a new, hopefully tight(er), pussy OR in reaction to the above.” ~ Josh Guru

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Erik
“as ATL alluded to, every SB is also someone’s daughter. Having a daughter myself, when things don’t work out with an SB, even as I’m no longer romantically interested in her, I try to put her back on the shelf gently as if how I would my own daughter treated”

Man, if more people thought this way about their interactions with others, even beyond romantical ones, the world would be a better place.

“Of course, sometimes there’s only so much I can do in terms of positive influence when the young mind is poisoned by feminist self-destructive agenda”

There are many kinds of poisons of and surely one cannot counteract or save others from the affects of all of them, but I believe conducting oneself with thought and care is still worth it.

ErikTheRedsays:

@response,
While factually correct, the reality is a little more nuanced than that: as ATL alluded to, every SB is also someone’s daughter. Having a daughter myself, when things don’t work out with an SB, even as I’m no longer romantically interested in her, I try to put her back on the shelf gently as if how I would my own daughter treated in another decade or two at the hand of a gentleman just in case I die early and her mom run her trust fund into the ground. In other words, just in case Karma strikes. Of course, sometimes there’s only so much I can do in terms of positive influence when the young mind is poisoned by feminist self-destructive agenda.

StruggleIsRealsays:

*the best way one can.

StruggleIsRealsays:

So what is honestly the best way to have/ raise a kid? Obviously the answer here is just “the best one can”, but I mean more theoretically speaking?
What new model could replace the existing marriage model?

@Josh
“StruggleIsReal is a great catch”
I see what you did there 😉 I think. Maybe not. Actually I’m confused. My powers of perception have been a little off lately. Right @ATL ? LoL

ATLSDsays:

@josh I’m posting from my phone. I try but I have trouble moving around in this little comment box.

ErikTheRedsays:

LOL, @ATL,

The key to avoiding the teenager problems is pro-active behavior conditioning during the most happy and pleasant 8-12 time period. That’s when they learn to shit-test, instead of being the innocent children that had been previously. Handle those shit tests well, and you will set an example for her what kind of men she should be searching when she grows up.

That, and make sure to send her to outstanding schools, where other parents are also handling their parental duties properly.

Thanks for your kind acknowledgement for my Guru-dom. Certain level of acceptance of the fact is good for you.

As far as “facts and figures”, this is what I said:

Since you used “AmusedSD” as your blog moniker. I observed that you were “amused” to some degree already. So I started with “Do you want to amuse yourself further?” to help you amuse yourself further.

Then I wrote “Find a nice, firm dildo.” See I suggested “a” dildo, not “two” dildos or X number of dildos. “A” dildo is very specific “figure”. It means “one” dildo. So you find “one” dildo.

As @FunDude suggested above, you are either a “mangina” guy or a gal pretending to by a guy. So “fuck yourself” could mean you insert that dildo in your asshole or your vagina. I did not say “suck that dildo,” So I specifically wanted you to insert that dildo in your vagina or asshole “to amuse yourself”.

Then I had a “;)” because I winked at you to wish you a good time all by your lonesome. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Now you know that the Guru (almost) NEVER writes without “facts and figures”.

As far as “a lowly woman thing”, THAT is your ass-u-mption of women not mine, and you are very cleverly trying to attribute it to me. Women behave in a certain way when it comes to dealing with men. That’s what I usually write about. It is neither “highly” nor “lowly.” It is what it is.

Lesson you need to learn when addressing the Guru. DO NO COME SWINGING AND EXPECT TO BE DEALT WITH RESPECT. Capisce?

Now go on and continue you idiotic “contribution” to the blog. Yawn!!!

@SR
Your honesty and straightforwardness would not ruin your prospect with mature men who know what they want and are willing to build a stable longer term relationship with you.

flyRsays:

@Struggles “””It is those individuals who aren’t really sure that they want to be involved here in sugar, yet kind of do and are curious enough to dip their toes in. I have had a couple instances of this. What I have found to happen is that they will be here more out of curiosity and a bit of desire, run into me here and then they meet me and really like me, but then they are plagued with a “moral” or “ego” dilemma and pull out the “I will never pay a woman for sex” card. Insert massive eye roll here.”””

One of the first questions for both – have you been in a sugar relationship before and if yes what was good and what was bad and how long did it last?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Erik
Good points!
I often times wonder if I am too up front and honest about things, hence “killing the chase” for men. I have NEVER been one to play those games. Even since I was a young girl in high school, I would just be straight up. I’ll just say, “hey, I like you. Do you like me?” When my girlfriends ask me for advice like “ok he sent me this, then I said that, then he did this, what should I do??” I am just mystified. I’m pretty cut-to-the-chase about it.

Of course I tend to prefer my natural way of doing things but I have often wondered if I ruin things for a guy by being that way.

It’s not a dilemma. Just a curiosity, and I find it interesting for you to not engage with the chase, because it seems that men evolutionarily desire the chase. Are we evolving past that now then?

ErikTheRedsays:

For me, there are two reasons not to chase:

1.Chasing would make the girl lose respect therefore attraction to you.

2. Chasing would mess up your own feelings towards the girl: if your feelings towards the girl become centered around the chase, then the moment after you catch her, you will have no choice but to dump her so you can start a new chase. Chasing is highly detrimental to long term relationship.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Dan
Seems legit! Sounds like you have your details hammered out for yourself and communicate them clearly. I think that is one of the most important aspects for success here.

I agree with @FunDude here as well. I do not at all expect an arrangement to begin unless intimacy is involved. Anything that exceeds that is at the discretion of either party and can serve a purpose as well, but it certainly is not a baseline expectation for me.

The biggest frustration I have encountered in this whole sugar bowl thing is definitely on par with yours. It is those individuals who aren’t really sure that they want to be involved here in sugar, yet kind of do and are curious enough to dip their toes in. I have had a couple instances of this. What I have found to happen is that they will be here more out of curiosity and a bit of desire, run into me here and then they meet me and really like me, but then they are plagued with a “moral” or “ego” dilemma and pull out the “I will never pay a woman for sex” card. Insert massive eye roll here. We here know that is not what it’s all about, but for me to actually have to explain this to someone that I met on his freaking site is a waste of my everything! LoL But then they want another date with me and can’t seem to figure out how they are going to make this work in their minds. But for me, they have lost me. I just can’t deal with the ambivalence. One of the whole whole points for me being here is that I find a masculine strong man very attractive. I love a man who is solid, resolute, knows what he wants, and is unyielding to societal conventions and ideas that might make others squirm. Besides, a little bit if taboo is fun and sexy to me. There are a lot of these frustrating wannabes, on both sides, and the SBs who act similarly are a pain is the ass to genuine SBs who don’t dick around 😉

ATLSDsays:

Wow it’s like the NY Times Sunday addition on here.
@ Dan. Good post. And you are young for a SD but more power to you. I approach it similarly and have lucky with SB that they were
not hung up on the amount. I have had POT SB not really get the whole extra thing. Like you said $300 for a romp. They wang more but they taken out to nice dinners or lunches. Had gifts given to them or you took them shopping. In one month that can easily be 1000 plus. Being married that means I probably only saw them 4-6 times in 30 days. Not a great ROI as some SD like to put it. The unappreciative ones dont last and are first to complain.

Dan2206says:

@fundude

That’s kind of the point though. It allows you not to get tangled in the bad long term. Like if you haven’t found what you’re looking for it’s a cool way to approach things. Women tend to dig it. And if you haven’t found what you’re looking for then it’s easy to say hey we tried this, I just don’t see you enough, or I’m just not getting what I need out of this, or we aren’t compatible etc… If I hang out with a woman and things aren’t right, I don’t stick around to find out how things are going to end tbh… I make it clear from the start that I have options. I make it clear from the start on how I can take care of you. There’s way more SB’s then SD’s tbh. The ratio is quite skewed. So if someone comes along and feels entitled and isn’t following through on her end then it’s easy to walk away. I find this way adds incentive to women. Like hey, this dude is taking care of me. If I’m nice to him and I follow through and I treat him like a person more then an ATM I might make a good ally… etc… If they don’t see the value in that, if they have better options then by all means pursue them. I don’t pretend to be better than anyone else and I don’t feel entitled like most rich men do. I know and understand the kind of value I can bring to a womans life. It’s not my job to make her realise that. There’s only so many times you can get blown off, or have fake meaningless conversations when you know there’s 5 other girls a day messaging you to hook up.

It’s all about the friendships for me. I’m super generous, but I prefer to reward the women who look out for me. If I have to chase you, beg for your attention or have to beg for your affection then no I rather not do that.

So keep looking. Stick to your system. Guaranteed long-term you’ll come across more high quality women then women who are just curious or not that into you.

You are either a mangina chump or some SB posing as a SD. Any male with even a modicum of testosterone won’t be a simp like yourself.

Now be quiet. Real men are speaking on this blog.

FunDudesays:

@FLYR wow that was the best advice I have ever seen out of you. Are you becoming red pill or something?

@WannabeSD

You got ripped off. This is something to be expected with a decent amount of SBs. They will take as much money from you while giving you little/nothing if possible. You need to prevent yourself from being taken advantage of.

I won’t pay for a first meeting/date. When I meet, we discuss the terms of the “arrangement” without any transferring of money. You can also consider talking about this on texts before ever meeting.

You need to establish “chemistry” ahead of time before considering some arrangement. Don’t let them play the game that “you can give e an arrangement, but there is no sex until we establish chemistry”.

There damn well better be chemistry before any arrangement. I would only setup a long term arrangement after getting intimate. Initially, you can go p4p so you don’t get scammed.

resop2says:

@sexyrockstar: “Can a divorced man be a good SD? After all, he’s paying his ex-wife something.”

Just because a divorced guy is paying spousal support doesn’t mean that he wants anything to do with the woman he divorced. This comparison only makes sense if this woman is the mother of his kids and is raising his kids. In that case it makes a little bit of sense since the guy will probably put his kids interest above a SB’s interest. But, the SD’s contribution includes money while the SB’s contribution is primarily time and interest. So, I conclude that it would be easier for a divorced man to be a SD than a mom to be a SB, but it wouldn’t be easy for the SD.

Dan2206says:

So many people have different wants and needs though, that it’s important that you are clear about what you are looking for. I’ve embraced this lifestyle for 6-7 years now, before I even really knew what this was. So my experience has been all over the map, and I tend to look at the bad as learning experiences because I’m not in this short term.

I find women will tend to do exactly what you want if you’re not a fucking asshole in how you approach them. I know for me personally my system is different then most men on here for various reasons. Here’s how I’ve approached some of the things discussed.

My profile tends to be updated once every 2-3 months or so. So sometimes you might have a conversation that doesn’t pan out and a few months later someone comes back to check in on you and you end up connecting. I try to make my profile as detailed as possible. I’m not in the situation of most. I’m not married or hidding a family or whatever… I have no ties, so I’ll browse profiles but I’ll never initiate contact. I’ll include that in my profile and allow women who are interested to contact me. I’ll make it clear that platonic isn’t what I’m really looking for so I assume that if someone contacts me that they are somewhat ok with that not being an issue. I’ve had to do this because there’s a lot of women on here who are more curious then into arrangements themselves. Especially younger women who this is all new too. I don’t have zero problems if someone is unsure about me. That’s ok. That’s normal. That’s how relationships work regardless. You try and find someone you’re compatible with. What I don’t have time for though, is women who are unsure they even want to do this. There’s nothing more frustrating for the SD’s side then a girl who wastes your time, or a woman you have to convince to pay. Like really? I’m taking care of you and spoiling you and I still have to chase you? No thanks. If I wanted that I’d date in the real world… So it’s not about being an asshole, guys just be clear about what you’re looking for and don’t be so aggressive in trying to obtain it.

Arrangement wise, I found that there can be a lot of issues. It’s taboo for most women to even put a price on themselves. They wouldn’t want to undercut themselves, and sometimes it’s plain taboo for the first person to make an offer. So you end up in a lot of back and fourth just to dance around the subjects of how will you take care of me? and does this entitle us to fuck around? The problems that men run into is that women hit them up. Just like someone mentioned the holidays, it’s not uncommon for women to hit you up in advance after a date or two and then completely disapear. On women’s side, they enter arrangements where they basically put out and look out for a man for weeks, a month etc… and then the guy ends up not following through and women get fucked over. So if you’re a woman who’se borderline into this and a guy just fucks you over like that it can leave a really sour taste in your mouth and devalue you in ways that most of us men on here won’t understand.

So the way I approach it is simple. I make it clear in my profile that I’m not looking for super platonic. I make sure to have all details worked out before we even meet. It’s not hard to spend 2-3 days talking to someone and getting a vibe for them. So if someone is genuinely interested and you have all the details worked out in advance then by the time you meet you don’t really end up discussing awkward and what not. On my end the system that’s worked best for both parties is what I use all the time. If I agree to take care of someone I do it right from the start. I don’t enter arrangements until I’m comfy with someone. So I have a number that works for me. So everytime I’ll give someone that number, guaranteed, no questions asked. Anything above and beyond is at my discretion. I’ll never ask a woman to chase money or fuck her over. Being well off means that I can accept more risks. Because the over is at my discretion and not hers, I don’t get hit up all the time like I used too. It allows me to spoil women the way I want and reward them the way I want. So yeah we have something agreed too, and yeah I probably won’t do platonic, but it establishes a baseline. So I can hang out with someone 2-3 times, take care of her, get what I want/need and if we’re not compatible then at least no ones feelings are hurt and no one is taken advantage off… If it becomes something longer term then it allows us to transition to something weekly or monthly arrangement wise, while completely trusting each other (as much as you can with this stuff). It tends to eliminate the games and bullshit. And women tend to catch on quickly. Like this guy is taking care of me right from the start, no questions asked. I definitely want to be in something longer term etc… It makes women more willing to be open with you because they know that you’re not taking advantage.

When relationships don’t work out, then there’s nothing to feel bad about. You hung out with someone and you took care of them, you hooked up but it wasn’t something long term… That’s cool. And sometimes it can be fun regardless. It adds incentive for someone to want to be in your life long term. It eliminates the needs for gifts etc… right off the bat. When you don’t know someone it’s hard to lavish them. I rather money so they can use it as they see fit in their life. When I go above our baseline (money wise) I usually do it as a way to say thank you and that I value our relationship. It allows me to be flexible and women to feel comfortable with the arrangement. This works excellent both ways if you are a man or a woman. Establish a baseline.

For example: If you tell a man you want 2k a month, how is he supposed to price that out without knowing how often you’ll hang out, how your relationship will develop, if he can trust you and so on… So if you establish a baseline, like ex: 300$ everytime we get together and fuck around. No questions asked. Anything above and beyond at my discretion. It gives women a guarantee. That’s the straight approach. I get to spoil her above and beyond at my discretion. When we go out or do something like dinners or adventures then she knows that’s probably all going to be comped too… So women feel more trustworthy. So I have my system in place which makes meeting great SB’s super easy. I don’t chase them, they contact me because I’ve taken more then two minutes in my profile to give them an idea of who I am. I don’t waste someones time for days dancing around what someone is worth, I let them know what works in my life and how I can help them. I assume they’re somewhat interested since they initiate, and I know what I’m looking for and how I can be of benefit to someone else. My profile includes one display pic so women can get an idea of who I am and the rest of my pics are all private. But make sure you include a picture. Even if you’re married. Bar your face or something but try and be a little more open and it might go a long way.

I get 10-15 messages a week just saying hey I love your profile. Best I’ve read on the site… bla bla bla… I don’t think I’m more interesting or worthy of anyones attention then the next right guy. But I’m 31 and only starting to understand what truly works for me. So figure that shit out for yourself. It’s not your partners job to figure out what you need. It’s your own.

Sorry, but I’m not interested in your type. Gender and personality are *way* off for me, but I appreciate the offer none the less.

ErikTheRedsays:

Sugaring not “squaring”
Untracked not “untrained”

ErikTheRedsays:

1. Unmarried women in their 20’s without childten already earn more on average than their male counterparts. That’s without counting extra income like squaring or tipping, and without normalizing for high pays in high risk jobs like mercenary military, commercial fishermen, high voltage linemen, etc., where the men are paid more due to order of magnitude higher risk of gruesome deaths on the jobs. In other words, for run of the mill jobs, women in their 20’s who have not put their careers on hold for family and personal choice reasons already far out-earn their male peers.

2. Colleges graduates are now over 60% female, who also account for over 57% of admission. The next set of Title 9 suits against colleges may well be requiring them to admit equal number of men, and have programs to graduate equal number of men.

3. There are already full fledged laws guaranteeing the women leaving men to have higher standards of living than the vast majority of men that they are leaving. Many of my tenants have to rent 1BR apartments from me, or even share 2BR apartments with roommates, because they have to leave their previous houses to their ex-wives and still have to pay the mortgage on those houses. There is no reason for normal women to be afraid of leaving their husbands except for the reality of having to support two households is more expensive than running only one household, which is to be expected if one wants to be “strong and independent.” Then there are the small minority of women who are genuinely afraid because their men either have no legal income to be levied for child support or are criminally violent (as opposed to merely dominant or calculated dominance). That is the result of her own bad choice due to uncontrolled biological programming. No amount of punishing other men with legal income and rational law-abiding behavior would solve the problem; in fact, such laws would only drive more men into a new rational choice to be violent and derive income from illicit hence untrained sources.

4. The difference between feminism vs. rational gender equality is reflected by how one reacts to the facts listed above. Those who believe Female Uber Alles would ignore these facts and agitate for more government intrusion at the expense of law-abiding males. The result would not actually bebfit females in the long run, but only promote thug culture, and discourage career and nest building behavior among young males. The net result would be massive societal decline.

ErikTheRedsays:

1. Unmarried women in their 20’s without childten already earn more on average than their male counterparts. That’s without counting extra income like squaring or tipping, and without normalizing for high pays in high risk jobs like mercenary military, commercial fishermen, high voltage linemen, etc., where the men are paid more due to order of magnitude higher risk of gruesome deaths on the jobs. In other words, for run of the mill jobs, women in their 20’s who have not put their careers on hold for family and personal choice reasons already far out-earn their male peers.

2. Colleges graduates are now over 60% female, who also account for over 57% of admission. The next set of Title 9 suits against colleges may well be requiring them to admit equal number of men, and have programs to graduate equal number of men.

3. There are already full fledged laws guaranteeing the women leaving men to have higher standards of living than the vast majority of men that they are leaving. Many of my tenants have to rent 1BR apartments from me, or even share 2BR apartments with roommates, because they have to leave their previous houses to their ex-wives and still have to pay the mortgage on those houses. There is no reason for normal women to be afraid of leaving their husbands except for the reality of having to support two households is more expensive than running only one household, which is to be expected if one wants to be “strong and independent.” Then there are the small minority of women who are genuinely afraid because their men either have no legal income to be levied for child support or are criminally violent (as opposed to merely dominant or calculated dominance). That is the result of her own bad choice due to uncontrolled biological programming. No amount of punishing other men with legal income and rational law-abiding behavior would solve the problem; in fact, such laws would only drive more men into a new rational choice to be violent and derive income from illicit hence untrained sources.

4. The difference between feminism vs. rational gender equality is reflected by how one reacts to the facts listed above. Those who believe Female Uber Alles would ignore these facts and agitate for more government intrusion at the expense of law-abiding males. The result would not actually bebfit females in the long run, but only promote thug culture, and discourage career and nest building behavior among young males. When the derision “acting white” goes mainstream and become “acting Jewish” or “acting Asian,” we will all be doomed as a society. There just aren’t enough Jews and Asians alone in this country to keep us all afloat.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Wannabe
@flyR gave you pretty good advice. In general, at least in my mind, I would not expect $$ until there is intimacy, unless there was a decent amount of time / travel made by SB in order to be at a platonic date. In that case you might slip her a bill at the end of the date just to make her costs easier to handle, but certainly it would not be the while allowance.
Don’t let yourself be discouraged by one bad experience. You can learn a lot by hanging here and you’ll be able to build a better filter and set of best practices for yourself

“It’s unbelievable how many SBs claim to be a submissive with no understanding of what that really means”

It is also unbelievable how many SDs claim to be submissive, where in reality they are only sexual thrillseekers. 😉

ss1959says:

Re: Panties in the pocket – The only panties an SB should be putting in my pocket are the ones I sent her to the ladies room to remove. But that’s just because if we’re on a second date then she’s already professed to want to be my subby masochist and this would be a tiny little test to see if she meant it. It’s unbelievable how many SBs claim to be a submissive with no understanding of what that really means.

@SexyRockstar miss you too sugarfoot. I have SOOOOOO much to tell you. New Years was mellow though but new situation is going great. Fast but AMAZING!

WannabeSDsays:

Thanks flyR. I think this whole sugar game might be a bit too complex for an overly trusting (albeit rich) nice guy like me.

I have had plenty of wonderful experiences meeting some nice (and willing) ladies outside of SA who greatly appreciate my geniality, but this site seems to have made me an easy target for females of the shrewd and cunning variety.

Anyhow, time for me to just live and learn like you said and stick to what works for me.

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@struggle. I love the new picture. You look hot

flyRsays:

@Wanna B

As a general rule sugar is delivered at the time the relationship is consummated, wither before or after. If the SB does not trust you with the promise to send her home with the agreed amount then there’s something wrong. Past discussions have talked about monthly allowances, pre meet allowances etc. You do what feels right for both. But I think at the 95% level there is agreement that initial payments do not occur until the meeting at which intimacy occurs- unless there is something else and you are willing to take the risk and to provide a reward for potentially bad behavior.

POF (panties on floor) is an internationally accepted threshold of the commencement of a sugar relationship. Of course there are alternative thresholds… The general experience with advance payments is pretty dismal. There are the pros whose profession is “rinsing” and there are the terminally self centered who forget their commitments. I don’t have any scientific research or even a lot of field experience to support it but I think there’s a good chance that when you provide a substantial gift for future pleasures of the flesh to a near stranger that it (the obligation) is likely to generate resentment rather than gratitude. Concurrent transfers seem to make everyone happy when done properly.

Midwestsugardaddysays:

@Sexyrockstar. I am glad things are going well for you. I would say a work related thing is the best idea for a getaway with a married sd. Maybe he can use a work thing and say that he is tacking on a visit to a local attraction on Saturday with a flight back on Sunday night. Be creative. I have pulled off a half dozen getaways in the past year. It’s tricky.

I’m planning a getaway with my new sexy sugar babe soon, too. It should be a ton of fun. She has been awesome. No flake outs, great sexual chemistry, lots of fun, and and great body/smile.

@Josh Let’s dial it back a bit this year. You like to complain a bit too much. People are here for advice, not your famously ineffective diatribes on your sugar daddy stardom.

@Struggle. I lose the new picture

KennaKennasays:

@flyr it wasn’t me, it was @Southern.

flyRsays:

@Kenna

I think it was you talking about the increased probability of violence when the man ( husband, boyfriend , sperm donor ) was being evicted or the wife was leaving with children. I think every young woman should read The Gift of Fear if for nothing else other than the questionnaire which is very effective in predicting the probability of domestic violence. The author is one of the very few real world experts on the subject and the questionnaire is the basis of the one used by most police departments for the same purpose. .

flyRsays:

“Anyway, do you think I should at least tell her I don’t appreciate this behavior or just walk away?”

arrrrrgh do you realize that she will see that as a compliment to her ability to fleece. Man up, accept the leadership failure, learn from it and reward the SB who delivers 120% with a nice surprise. Learn the lesson….

What they don’t teach you at the Harvard Business School…… lessons of one of the great scholars of recent decades, John Boyd… Boyd wrote the manual on sugar relationships, only he thought he was doing a presentation on winning and loosing wars over the past 3,000 years. One of his gifts was the OODA loop, Observe what’s going on Orient yourself in relation to those around you , Decide what’s the right thing to do to win Act before the other player can get oriented. It works in war and in sugar (hopefully your relationship will quickly evolve to a highly collaborative one vs the combative ones so popular here).

To be clear, I didn’t give her money on our first (coffee) meet. When I say ‘first date’, I mean first official date with an allowance (obviously, I didn’t consider our first ‘meet’ a ‘date’).

Anyway, do you think I should at least tell her I don’t appreciate this behavior or just walk away?

flyRsays:

Kenna – My only suggestions are to make it personal, things you know he likes. Don’t worry about any need to spend money . My guess is that he has a lot more need for someone to demonstrate they care than to spend big bucks.

*this way she can’t ask for more than what you agreed to give her because you’re not discussing allowance prior to the first meet so therefore not agreeing to anything.

KennaKennasays:

The 2 year mark for my SD and I is quickly approaching and I want to do something super awesome for him.

I’m willing to spend my own money; I just want to do something really great and unforgettable to show him just how much I appreciate him and how lucky I am to have found him(I hope I don’t sound like a hopeless romantic hehe).

@ATL
Ooooh my ears and the back of my neck are my special spots (outside of the ones between my legs)

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Wanna
So you gave her money? I am confused.

ATLSDsays:

@WannbeSD. Dude you got rinsed. Sure appears you learned a hard lesson.
Don’t ever agree to up the ante until you have been together for a while. That’s a clue when they start playing games right away. New SD miss that. Also a reason why to give as little info about yourself and have throw away emails and throw away phone nbrs. Lesson learned bro.

@Struggles
“@ATL
Do you prefer the vag or the mouth ?”

Actually the ear. A women’s ear is an unbelievable sensual part of a women’s body.
(but I live in a different universe)

WannabeSDsays:

Was wondering if any experienced SDs could help me out since I don’t really know where else to ask. My question is, do you think I was taken advantage of in the following scenario?

1. I meet a potential SB for coffee. We appear to get along and agree on a first date.
2. Before our first date, she suddenly says she wants double what we agreed on. I agree as I see some potential in her for a long term SB/SD arrangement.
3. Towards the end of the date, I ask if she wants to come to my place. She says not on this date, maybe on the next date. Me being a gentlemen, I say ok.
4. I pretty much never hear from her again. So what has happened is she has managed to get some nice cash for herself without having really to do much.

If you think about it, I think SBs can pretty much just rinse and repeat the process above and end up doing quite nicely for themselves without much effort on their part.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Sexay
I have absolutely no doubt that he values the shit out of you and that you are everything he wants. I am berry happy to hear this too, considering the fiasco a couple weeks ago. You and your love quips give me hope

ATLSDsays:

I love the drive-by posters. It adds to the entertainment value here and has a certain annoyance that makes one want more.

SexyRockstarsays:

@Struggle
I am his only SB. Him and I actually had a conversation about him and these other women he’s been with. Last time I was with him he was telling me that I am on his mind always. It’s made him “re-think” a lot of things.

Maybe I am what he truly wants? I would be more then flattered.

He’s married, he gets to travel A LOT for work (he’s not home 3 days out of the week) and the fact he isn’t sleeping wit his wife, why not? He isn’t meeting Sugar Babies, just women. He is a man who likes variety.

But at the end of the day, he treats me with respect, we love on each other, and I’ve been going through some stuff ((huge family ordeal the other day)) and he’s been my rock. He is giving me words of wisdom and encouragement. I honestly cannot ask for anything more. I love him

ATLSDsays:

@Sexy. The best way is for it to be work related some how. Boss sending him somewhere.
Or a sports trip, got tickets to his favorite team out of town. Or fishing/ hunting trip. Or guy/Craft beer tour weekend. It has to be something that Wifey is not interested in at all. Is this drummer? How about a band in other city or drum camp!!!

@Sex
Not to bring up a sore spot, if it is one, but is he seeing anyone else? I just honestly am amazed if he is. Between you, work, wife, and kids… Like woah that’s a lot just in and of itself.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@sexay
Thank fuck.
I thought you’d never return. LoL. Not really though, I just knew you had real life.
Thank you babeh. And I feel a little bit like you are the ideal from all ends of what a SB should be. I wanna be you when I grow up. But wait… I am older than you. Haha

SexyRockstarsays:

I am seeing Drummer on Thursday! Whhooohhhoooo! I am exited.

For these married SDs: what is the best excuse you can come up with in order to be away for a weekend? SD and I have been thinking about this. We do have a possible plan, but just wanting to bounce off ideas. @Midwest, i’d LOVE your input.

SexyRockstarsays:

@FineJess
Other sugar dating website only attract the guys who want a quick fuck. Trust me. There are millions of reviews on these websites. While SA does have them, you’re getting looks but no messages. Your profile makes you sound like an escort. Your pictures make you look like an escort. Be a Sugar Baby. You Can do it ((plays Eye of The Tiger)

resop2 says:
January 3, 2015 at 1:13 pm
Question: Can a woman be a “true” SB if she has a child? (Note, this not a question of the woman being sexually experienced, but a question of can a woman truly make a man feel like a king if there are baby-daddies running around.)

Um. I have two kids. My SD is my king. Thats like saying can a divorced man be a true SD. He is paying his ex wife something right? Sugar is a great escape from the hardships of life. Being a mom is tiring, so an SD who can treat her lovely is a bonus. My SD makes me forget my busy life, while I do the same for him. We enjoy each others company. We are there for each other.

@struggle
looking hot ggguuuurrrrllllll

@Lainey
I miss you Hows your daughter? What did you two do for New Years?

KennaKennasays:

Just when I thought I was finally going to enjoy a night’s sleep in my own bed, SD texts me asking me to come over after the game…

AmusedSDsays:

Wow….. This blog is incredible. If I was a SB, I’d read it and know which guys to stay away from.

Archaic and inaccurate ideas about divorce and custody. Not understanding the legal system. Constantly belittling and talking down to women. Constantly repeating the same tired sh*t over and over and acting smug and superior about it.

Let’s not forget the Men’s Rights conference, alpha guys and beta guys. Also, the repeatedly going over and over and over about race, when no one was complaining about it.

This is either the greatest piece of performance art I’ve ever seen, or the guys posting on here better be glad they have money because there’s no *way* a self respecting woman would date them…….But that’s right, they don’t *want* a self respecting woman.

Bravo Gentlemen. Well done.

flyRsays:

@Joshie “If you want fair conversation, this ain’t the place.”

I think most of us would be happy with a courteous conversation, one without a couple of boys sitting in their basement 18 hours a day, sticking pins in little Barbie dolls to express their frustrations and cluttering the blog with hundreds of comments a week.

It’s like having a dog that eats off the dinner table, is not housebroken and licks the burglars fingers expecting cookies. Unfortunately SA does not have a facility for un-trainable strays .

“Romanians are kind of like Russians in their passions but without so much darkness.”

Hitman? racism?

Are you fucking kidding me Mr. Pimp?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@flyR
Hire a hit man to get even!! Lmao! Love it.

StruggleIsRealsays:

Josh squashes any worthy viable conversation.
Sorry Southern. If you want fair conversation, this ain’t the place. I really get a lot of what you’re saying though (because I apparently am a feminist, Josh/FunDude has recently informed me. I’m feeling pretty spiffy about this. LoL

flyRsays:

@Kenna K – My advice would be accept the money, put it in a separate investment account she manages and see what happens. She can give it back, keep it , give it to charity, bail him out of jail, hire a hit man to get even etc.

Romanians are kind of like Russians in their passions but without so much darkness.

Joshsays:

@SouthernSB

“@Josh-I must be missing something, enlighten me.”

Please allow me to indulge then. 😉

1. There is a massive hiring initiative.

2. 200 candidates are selected for the exact same job at an XYZ corporation.

3. 100 are male, and 100 are female.

4. All of the selected candidates have same level of experience, say, fresh out of college.

5. There is a salary “band” for every job. For example, a fresh out of college engineer may be hired at, say, grade 7. The salary band for which is, say, $50,000 – $70,000.

6. There is no way in hell that the HR is going to make them different initial offers. That would be breaking the law. And they cannot make the highest possible salary offer, because they are bound by fiduciary responsibility to their owners, or shareholders. So they make offers of $50,000 to each of them.

7. 57% of the male selectees refuse to take $50,000. They demand better salary. So the company counters them at $55,000. Some of them take $55,000. Some press harder. So, say 20 of them get $60,000. Some still press harder, and the company decides not to make counter offer beyond $60,000. So, say, 10 of them go elsewhere.

8. Only 7% of the female selectees refuse to take $50,000. They demand better salary. So the company counters them at $55,000. All 7 of them take $55,000, or maybe 1 or 2 negotiate further.

9. There is no way to guarantee “equal pay for equal work” here. You get what you negotiate.

10. As per Sheryl Sandberg’s (President and COO of Facebook) speech from 2010, 57% of the men negotiate their rookie salaries, but only 7% of women do the same. []http://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders/transcript?language=en[]

@Josh-I must be missing something, enlighten me.

Joshsays:

@SouthernSB

How is that scenario related to “equal pay”?

SouthernSBsays:

BTW, I’m not always for mothers always getting custody of the children. Some mothers are straight up trash and really shouldn’t be trusted to raise a goldfish, more less a child. I particularly hate the ones that never let the fathers see their own children, there’s a special place in hell for women like that.

SouthernSBsays:

That’s true under normal relationships, but I was talking about abusive relationships. Women who are in abusive relationships are afraid to leave because they are afraid of what will happen to the children. The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave. She is more likely to be killed by her boyfriend/husband at the time when she is trying to leave. Abusers use children as a weapon to keep women in those relationships, and the women are so isolated and beaten down that they believe them.
I knew a woman who was being abused by her live in boyfriend, when she finally left, she had to leave the state and couldn’t even tell her family where she went. She even changed her name, as far as I heard she was living somewhere in either North or South Carolina. Luckily her job let her transfer to the state that she moved to and the police gave her and her son an escort out of the house.

I’m so much better now, not 100% back to myself but almost there. It helps that the doc gave me an extra 4 days off from work so I’ll be relaxing and resting up next week.

Thanks for asking!

SouthernSBsays:

@Kenna-Awww geezz what kind of human being would turn down a 3,000 dollar gift? Maybe you should have a talk with your friend and let her know that this guy is only trying to show her how much he cares about her.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Southern
Great points. Preach.

StruggleIsRealsays:

*Your

I cannot stand autocorrect at this moment.

SouthernSBsays:

@Josh-What I mean by equal pay is equal pay. If a woman is doing the same job as a man she should get the same exact pay as a man would get for the same job, if she is a fry cook or a CEO. I’m not talking about a quote “comparitive” (I guess that’s the right word) job, but the SAME job. If an male jr. exec. makes XYZ than the female jr. exec should also make XYZ. See, equal pay.
@Xero-It’s tied up with equal pay because if a woman is in an abusive relationship and she cannot at least make the same money as a man, then she may not think that she cannot support her children when she finally makes that step to get out. The number one reason that women don’t leave is the fact that they are afraid they will have to leave their children.

In light of @Kenna’s post, I honestly feel bad for guys. What the actual fuck?! is right!!
You’re friend is educated but not wise.

KennaKennasays:

After two weeks of being away and SD giving me a break tonight, I decided to catch up with a few girlfriends for our biweekly game night(usually a few bottles of wine so we’re all tipsy and talking lol).

One of my friends started to tell us she has a crisis. It must be noted that none of these Gfs know that I am a SB and I probably will never tell them.

Here is her crisis:
She met this Eastern European guy(Romanian) guy about 3 months ago. They started casually dating, nothing serious, she ended up sleeping with him about 4 weeks after meeting him and the sex is the best she ever had. A week ago, he asked her for her bank details to send her 3000 per month to take care of her and for her to buy cute outfits to wear for him; this idea completely turned her off and she has been ignoring him for the past week.

She says he completed insulted her and basically called her a prostitues by offering money for sex as they aren’t in a relationship.

My other two girlfriends seemed to agree with her and told her to ditch this guy!!! I said, imo he was getting the pussy for free for 2 months so him giving her money now has nothing to do with the sex she is giving him.

I then asked her if he had bought her a 3000 necklace if she’d accept it. She said maybe but it’d be iffy because they aren’t in a relationship.

Her conclusion is she is an ivy-educated, independent girl and she doesn’t need his money. She was just trying to get orgasms from him and see where it lead.

What the actual fuck!!! -_-

StruggleIsRealsays:

Y’all can be funny and witty with retorts but the truth is that I am not (to my knowledge) a feminist. If I am, because I fulfill a set of qualifications, I am still waiting to be informed on what those qualifications are. I have no problem being a feminist, it I am one! But I will say that regardless of whether I am one, I respect the good work that feminists have done for women. So while many here would like to put positive or negative connotations to the term, I just appreciate it and really haven’t a breadth of knowledge on it. I have invited @FunDude/Josh to inform me, from his opinion, but he hasn’t so… I don’t care. LoL

I am honestly more concerned about the possibility of a train that is full of gravy. Now that sounds like something I can get on board with.

StruggleIsRealsays:

*five

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Kenna
This flu has been a pain in my gravi! (PS. Thank you hunny!!)
How are you feeling? I would like my pneumonia to be running, not walking. High give to you for pulling off a big meal and trip with SD. I cancelled my NY plans. I’m a wimp when it comes to social activities and not feeling well. I did however cook for and entertain many people on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I literally had to take many naps during the process.

@josh
There’s a train with gravy?! @ygbkm have you heard of this train ?!?! Hermigahd

Joshsays:

@SouthernSB

“I thought what everyone was fighting for was equal pay for women”

Anyone wants to enlighten me how to ensure equal pay for women? You are welcome to post links if you don’t want to write. But don’t send me links to books. I want to be able to read whatever you want to communicate in 5 minutes or less. Thanks

PS: Please don’t write a run-on book longer than a 5-minute read. 😉

Joshsays:

@SouthernSB,

@Struggle is demonstrating the general female “solidarity” with feminists. She has no clue what “feminist” means but she has “mad love for feminists” because she knows that the gravy train is due to the efforts of the “feminists”; whoever they are.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Southern
I have mad love for feminists. I was only saying that I would never insult a feminist by assuming I am one. I should probably do some more learning in this respect. (Oh no, sorry Josh & FunDude.)

Joshsays:

On Batman, check this out…

[]http://www.collegehumor.com/badman[]

[fake female giggles from Japanese movies]

SouthernSBsays:

@All-I don’t know what this “new” definition of feminism everyone is talking about but I thought what everyone was fighting for was equal pay for women, being treated with dignity if we were raped, the right not to be beaten by our husbands (which is tied up with equal pay), the right to work anywhere we wanted without being harassed (and I’m not talking about being complimented, I’m talking about the boss standing in front of your desk with his boxers around his ankles), the right an abusive relationship safely, and have our own accounts. That’s it, that’s all. Feminism has been messed up by a bunch of spoiled, entitled, downright mean women with nothing better to do but punish the men in their lives because they no longer “love” them. Relationships are work, and women (and men) have gotten lazy. Too lazy to wear protection, to lazy to do the work to stay together, to lazy to smarten up and realize that a man will do just about anything to get in their pants, to lazy to support their kids(men), to lazy to take care of themselves, just too lazy to do anything but text and Instagram while the kids are being babysat by the TV. Then they send the kids to daycare the day they are born, and then one day when they are 16 they look at this grown person sitting at the table eating Cherrios and they have no idea who the hell they’re looking at, after all how would they know them, they didn’t raise them.

Why do some fucking posters show up and pretend that they only reason they read or post on the blog is because “they have nothing better to do”?

Then go on to ass-u-me that others who are posting, equally, have nothing better to do?

Idiots!

StruggleIsRealsays:

I don’t have children. But if I choose to, I will basically require a “child prenup”. Dude will sign a contract agreeing to a certain amount of responsibility for the child as well as an agreed upon amount of support for myself as co-parent. We will come to something we would see as fair between ourselves and amount of involvement / sacrifices a made etc.

@Rookie
I was just trying to be relevant. And my brother was yelling about the game so that’s how I knew there was one on. LoL I could not care less about football to be honest.

@Lisa
Bahhahaahahahhahahaha

Joshsays:

@Struggle,

Procreation is not the main issue. Within the right age group, it take less than 10 minutes to conceive and 9 months to pop another one out. It is the proper raising of the offspring which requires years and mucho dineros. There are many means that could lead to the desired end of procreation.

1. Status quo. Continuation of the marriage-divorce cycle. Men pony up child support voluntarily, and state harasses them if they don’t. Not healthy if the man is removed from the child-rearing process.

2. Status quo. Single women pop children out. State helps raise them and harass men to pony up the child support. Not healthy if the man is removed from the child-rearing process.

3. Development of a cadre of women who go through a process to get trained in sabotage control, and get certified to be marriage-able. State stays out of the mix and the man stays involved in the child-rearing process.

4. Another option. State stays out of the mix and the man is involved in the child-rearing process.

5. Yet another option. State stays out of the mix and the man is involved in the child-rearing process.

6. Etc.

RookieSDsays:

Lisasays:

@struggleIsReal
Josh, your proxy is being a little too obvious.
I’m on vacation and decided to catch up on the blog since I have nothing better to do and I can’t help but wonder if this guy has a life? SB? Dates? Meeting? Chores? I swear I’m convinced he’s one of those weird guys in their parents basements…creepy.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Xero
Josh did not like your compliment to me. I did though Thanks babe.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Josh
Fair enough. I personally also consider myself smart enough to not become legally entangled with men when it comes to intimate relationships. However, there is the issue of children and procreation, which is- despite our horny prestidigitations- is the actual evolutionary purpose for sex. What’s the answer then? And no, I do not ask this with an answer already in mind. I personally don’t feel the answer is marriage, as we know it currently. Just interested in opinions.

@Struggle “With any luck, you will lose all hope in women and will try men. Or even better, just stop trying altogether. I would hate it for the good men out there.”

Epic, lol

Joshsays:

I have been on the blog for almost that period of time and actively participating for almost a year. There have not been that many SBs looking for help or exchanging emails with you. Fess up, what’s your involvement with all those SBs?

StruggleIsRealsays:

@Rookie
It was a smiley faced bear
But Batman said he did not approve. So I changed it to this one.
He has a pretty focused appreciation for girls’ sexy parts (not girls in general) so I do tend to listen to him about such.

Don’t backtrack now…if it was obvious about ‘most young women’s “panties” will fit comfortably in a watch pocket’ then why embellish on the size as a “very small pair of panties”?

flyRsays:

Can a mother be an SB – of course she can and many do.

Negatives – The child comes first (the exception of course is the very young mother, usually high school dropout who’s life is a mess and drug addicts – both to be avoided) . Her life is more structured but she’s also probably more responsible.

Positives If there is a dad involved who can take the child for a weekend then it is much easier. As noted she’s probably got a well organized routine but stuff happens with kids. If you are a drama queen SD they are probably not for you. I would much rather have an SB who spends a lot of time home with her child rather than in the clubs of West Hollywood , NY or Chicago.

StruggleIsRealsays:

@flyR
My panties are often not at all. I would put my not-panties in your pocket though

flyRsays:

@Joshie “Now now…from pimp you’re getting into the pedophile zone. Did you ask her to bring “very small pair of panties” from her tween years? ”

Joshie – I humbly apologize for not enlightening you and that my cultural insensitivity allowed me to forget that the objects of your affection usually wear white boxer shorts in Mens M and that today most young women’s “panties” will fit comfortably in a watch pocket.

When you are ready to take the learners wheels off your sugar attempts you may begin to understand what people have been trying to share with you.

Lesson 1 – If you are talking or typing you are not learning……..

Elainesays:

@resop2

“Question: Can a woman be a “true” SB if she has a child? (Note, this not a question of the woman being sexually experienced, but a question of can a woman truly make a man feel like a king if there are baby-daddies running around.)”

Would it be very different from an SB with a boyfriend?
I have heard a lot of blog SD saying that they wouldn’t mind, as long as the SB was a “good actress”.

I guess it depends on what kind of sugar relationship you are after. For the escort’ish or otherwise only sex orientated sugar it wouldn’t make a lot of difference I suppose?

ATLSDsays:

@josh
“What do you see them as then?”

sperm repositories. :0

StruggleIsRealsays:

Okay wait I cannot lay claim to a bubblebut. I’m just a lean girl who has somewhat of a heinie. In photo that can translate bubbly-ish, but it would be a sacrilege to true bubblebutts to say I have one. I am trying to get my gravi to show up.

resop2says:

Question: Can a woman be a “true” SB if she has a child? (Note, this not a question of the woman being sexually experienced, but a question of can a woman truly make a man feel like a king if there are baby-daddies running around.)

“Fantastic idea. My gravi needs a 180. When I get out of the car I shall provide a new view”

Woohoo. Thanks to Josh for hyping your “ass” up.

Joshsays:

That’s correct @SouthernSB.

resop2says:

Take 2:

We need a comprehensive list of “go to” labels that SD/SB’s use when they get mad.

SB -> SD
1) loser who can’t get laid
2) misogynist
3) Fake Sugar Daddy – usually used when the SB realizes that the SD is not going to offer them money for nothing
4) Not a real man
5) Virgin
6) Gay – usually used when the SD expresses sexual disinterest in the SB
7) Peter Pan (Boy who can’t grow up so he seeks younger girls 18-21)
8) Pedo
9) Tiny dick

SD -> SB
1) Escort
2) Whore
3) Feminist
4) Rinser – an experienced SB who wants cash out of an arrangement and doesn’t want to give anything back
5) stupid – unable to argue facts, states emotions as facts
6) whiner – unable to accept personal responsibility, unable to acknowledge that sugar-ing is a market and there are other SB’s who are better than them
7) Princess – an inexperienced SB how has been deluded by hype articles into thinking that all SD’s are princes who will pay them mad cash to kiss their hand
8) Bitch

@respo
Both ways, it is not constructive. But it is what it is. And there are valid reasons on both ends. It now stands to me like a funny joke that has a good but of truth at the core.

Hi. I’m Struggle. And I’m a non-feminist-feminist.

RookieSDsays:

@struggles
Is there any way you can turn your avatar around?

flyRsays:

@ Struggles

POF – Panties on Floor – the point in a budding sugar relationship where the fun begins.

I had joked about this with a wonderful prospect when we were on date 2 of four. During dessert she casually reached over and stuffed her very small pair of panties into my shirt pocket, whispered in my ear that this was going to be fun……. sharing the story in case gives you some ideas, but I think you’ll do just fine.

SouthernSBsays:

Oh thank you @Josh, I would hate it if my cunt was wise, after all I just need my cunt to be wet….and tight.

resop2says:

@Struggle: I know most of the SB –> SD stuff first hand! I know that stuff is hurtful and not constructive, so I usually try to steer things back to the facts.

I wish the powers that be would get off their butts and add a forum section. Using the blog comments as a forum is pretty ghetto. Also, it would be so much nicer to have “threads” with really cool titles. Then we wouldn’t have to recreate the wheel every month or two.

@Josh, @Real I may well have been an “intensive” thought process and therfore by default it’s claim to have “intensive” purpose is thereby valid!!! ??? No??? just say’n!!

StruggleIsRealsays:

And dang y’all. Thanks for coming in with the assirmations ! Look I just made up a new word. 😀
I’m seeing way too much of my own stomach though. I need @Lainey to come in stat with a zinger. Or one of @sexy’s jokes would work.

Also I would be honored to be called a feminist. Honestly FunDude you can say what you want, but I really don’t insider myself a feminist but I also don’t consider myself not a feminist. I truly don’t know what doctrine one would need to assign to in order to consider herself a feminist. So if you would like to inform me, in an unbiased way, maybe I could then ascertain whether or not I am a feminist.
I know I love men, and penises attached to kind and respectful males. I also am bisexual so I like women too. However I have noticed that I have an attraction slight towards men.

RookieSDsays:

@Resop2
I would change #3 SB->SD to “Fake Sugar Daddy” That term seems to be most popular around various “How to” sites.
I would also add “little dick” to that list.
I would add “bitch” to the SD>SB list.