With apologies to Roz Chast, whose new book is pictured above and who has given me more good chuckles than any other cartoonist past or present, I offer you my A to Z list of what I hate about wine. Please notice the tongue in cheek; I only wish I could do the drawings to go with my list. Roz, are you out there?

A – art exhibitions in tasting rooms; allocated when there’s plenty to drive demandB – back labels with silly words. See “d, h, l, s and w”C - customers asking which wine scored 96, comparative tastings against DRC, Mouton etcD – dollap, displaysE – expecting a discount because your brother’s sister in law works 2 hours as harvest helpF – fruit forwardG – grower Champagne with strawberries, Grand Cru on CA Pinot labelsH – handcrafted, hints, hot women selling wine to make up for bad qualityI - international styleJ – just interested in the scores, Justin BieberK- L – leaving the tasting at 5:00 pm when it ends at 7:30 pm because “you ran out of wine”M – malo-lactic on whites, mystery winesN- natural wine that takes like VA, brett, and oxidationO- over extracted, over oaked, over priced, over confident, orange wineP – People who rinse every tasting with water before going to the nextQ – Quercus alba on CabernetR- restaurants in the Pacific NW that ignore Pacific NW wine, rotofermentersS – smooth, stupid packagingT – tasting rooms that feel like a funeral home, tannin additionsU – under-appreciated wine areas – Austria, Greece, Southern ItalyV – volatile winemakers with huge egosW – wineries that take full page ads, winter freeze in WA, WA wines with 15% alcohol, well rounded, when will this wine be at its peak? (If I could tell you that, I would have made $100 million as a hedge fund manager and wouldn’t be standing in the tasting room)X – Xinomavro plantings in LodiY – young wineries that charge $150 for their first wineZ – zoological labels

Blake - my point is not that geeks don't deserve good wine; they do. My point is that wine geeks should understand that SHARING that bottle is an important part of the experience. Greed has no place at a wine tasting.