UBI CARITAS ET AMOR. DEUS IBI EST.

IF ...

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Swimming with dolphins

Those who know me would agree that I am a very considerate person. But unfortunately, my best intentions don't always work out for the best.

The other day for instance I saw an elderly lady in the street; she must
have been about seventy or so, hobbling from foot to foot on the edge of the
sidewalk. I waited until the lights indicated it was safe to cross, and then I held
her gently by the arm and said, “Don’t worry madam; we’ll soon cross over
safely to the other side!”

She tottered alongside me looking behind her all the time until we reached
safely the other side as the traffic lights changed again. I took off my hat as a sign of respect and
smiled politely.

“That’s because I want to go to the toilet” she hollered, “I’ve a good mind
to pee in your stupid hat!”

I ran away before she did.

What's all this to do with dolphins? I hear you ask. Well, I imagine you asking, actually.

Let me tell you. Some years back we were on holiday by some seaside resort. We noticed a large sign saying "BOAT TRIPS TO SWIM WITH DOLPHINS". The notice promised that if we did not see and swim with dolphins they would refund our money.

Personally, I was not interested. I don't see the point of swimming with dolphins or with anyone else for that matter; being totally devoid of prejudice I dislike everyone and everything equally. But being considerate I agreed to go on this boat trip.

Eventually, what seemed miles from the shore, we discovered a shoal of dolphins swimming around the boat. The boatman stopped the engine and suggested people got changed into their swimming costumes and get in the water a few at a time. There were eight of us, so he suggested two groups of four.

I took my time to get changed into my swimming shorts very slowly in the hope that by the time I was ready they'd all have had their fun and it would be time to return home. No such luck.

When I got out of my cabin everyone had done their swimming except me. The dolphins were still there going back and forth by the side of the boat. The captain encouraged me to go in the water by myself. Being considerate, or stupid, I was too polite to refuse and I gingerly got down the rope ladder and into the water.

As soon as I was in the water, still holding tightly to the ladder, the "head dolphin" swam away followed by the whole shoal behind him. They were just not interested in swimming with me. Their leader must have said "We're not swimming with him. He looks weird!"

Maybe it was my after-shave lotion which put them off, or my red tartan swimming shorts, I don't know. It was very embarrassing being the only one, perhaps in the history of swimming with dolphins, to have the dolphins refuse to swim with him.

They all left not to be seen again.

To make matters worse, the captain brought out an inflatable rubber dolphin which he lowered in the water for me to hang on to and swim with.

As soon as it reached the water it must have come in contact with something sharp on the edge of the boat and it exploded with a loud bang. Everyone on the boat laughed.

The loud noise must have disturbed a stray dolphin which was still floating around. He came up fast behind me and somehow grabbed my swimming shorts, tearing them off me, as he swam away with the remnants in its mouth.

The captain told me to get on the boat quickly before the angry dolphin returns and attacks me.

I had no time to think of my modesty as I got out of the water to the sound of applause and wolf-whistles and hoots of laughter.

I hate dolphins.

At least I’m not stupid enough
to get entangled in fishing nets and get mistaken for a tuna fish.

OH, my! How embarrassing! I never know if you are kidding or serious, so if you really did go through such humiliation, you have my sympathy! LOL! God bless you, my friend. :) By the way, Zach and Kevin are reading your book together and really enjoying it! Thank you so much!!

Hi Victor! I actually swam with the dolphins in Mexico (it was a wish of my daughter's, so I went with her), but we were in a pool-type tank, not the open water.How embarrassing though! I would hate dolphins too, and anything to do with them. Actually, I think I'd be scarred for life. Thank goodness no dolphin went after me or my daughter...Blessings,Ceil

Music

RICHARD THE LION LIVER

This website uses cookies. If you like my cookies then read on. If not, then bring your own cookies and hot drink and enjoy your reading of what I write.

COPYRIGHT AND COPYWRONG POLICY

If you like what I write and want to copy it, or link to it from your website; that's OK. Please tell me first so I can thank you. Don't just copy it and pretend you wrote it. Others might not like my writings and they'll think that YOUR writing is no good.

DISCLAIMERS

The views expressed on this website ... OH what the heck. Make up your own mind as to whose views they are. You're probably wrong anyway.

WHO AM I?

Click on the tab at the top left of this website to learn more about me. In fact, why don't you click on all the tabs. You might like what you find there. I know I do.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Thank you for visiting me. If you like what you read here; please tell others to visit too. If not, let's keep it a secret between us.

God bless you.

Subscribe via email

VISIONS

Please click image

VISIONSISBN 978 1536 976076By VICTOR S. E. MOUBARAK

A vibrant tale of supernatural events, with a fast-paced storyline and strong believable characters, “VISIONS” is a challenging must-read Christian book for everyone ready for a reality check on what they actually believe.

GOD'S SHEPHERD

Please click image

GOD'S SHEPHERD

“GOD’S SHEPHERD” is a collection of short stories specially selected by the author as amongst his favorites. They tell of the day to day adventures of a gentle pious priest with a gift of dispensing good advice and wise lessons to a troubled world.

TO LOVE A PRIEST

Please click image

TO LOVE A PRIEST

When Father Ignatius’ past catches up with him there is no way to escape the consequences for him and those around him. He must face facts regardless of how seriously they could affect his vocation as a priest.