SOMEONE TO WATCH OVER ME
A Sonic the Hedgehog story featuring HOPE KINTOBOR
Part 5
Page 1
Layout: top half of the page is a single panel; there are two
half-width panels below that.
Panel 1: EGGMAN, surrounded by the debris that was MECHA, backs
away in terror to the left from SHADOW, standing mid-ground in
the center of the panel. MINA and HOPE are against the wall to
the right; they're also frightened.
EGGMAN
[burst balloon] SHADOW! What are you saying?
SHADOW
You must be stopped, Eggman.
Panel 2: Close-up of SHADOW, his right hand in the foreground
giving off a green flame-like glow. His hand partially obscures
his face. Only his malevolent eyes can be seen.
SHADOW
And I must stop you!
Panel 3: Close-up of HOPE, a horrified look on her face, her
mouth open.
SXF: NO!
Page 2
Layout: 5 panels: two half-page panels on top, one page-wide
panel in the center, and two half-page panels at the bottom.
Panel 1: HOPE stretches her hand out toward SHADOW, who turns his
face toward her and away from a cowering EGGMAN.
HOPE
Don't hurt him!
SHADOW
What?
SHADOW
Do you know what you're SAYING?
Panel 2: Close up of SHADOW speaking, while over his shoulder we
see line drawings of COLIN KINTOBOR and LADY AGNES.
SHADOW
Do you remember what he did to your father?
SHADOW
To your grandmother?
Panel 3: HOPE at left of panel faces SHADOW at the right.
Between them are line drawings of the roboticized forms of COLIN
and AGNES. HOPE's expression is angry, yet there are the
beginnings of tears in her eyes.
HOPE
YES, I remember!
HOPE
And I'll ALWAYS HATE him for it!!
Panel 4: HOPE full-face toward the reader. The anger has
subsided, and she clutches at the front of her sweatshirt with
one hand as the tears start to come.
HOPE
But destroying him won't help them ... won't bring them
back...
Panel 5: SHADOW full-face toward the reader. His expression is
one of shock.
HOPE
[off panel] It wouldn't be right....
SHADOW
[thought balloon] NO!
Page 3
Layout: splash page
This is going to be a massive shojo manga production number. The
following copy should be reproduced and pasted against the
background like a watermark. They are the dying words of MARIA
from Sonic Adventure 2:
Shadow, I beg of you. Please, do it for me. For a better
future. For all the people who live on that planet. Give them a
chance to be happy. Let them live for their dreams. Shadow, I
know you can do it. That's the reason you were brought into this
world. Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog.
In front of the text in the upper left corner of the page is a
line drawing of SHADOW's face from the previous panel. In the
lower right corner is a line drawing of SHADOW's face in profile,
head bowed and eyes shut.
Cutting across the page diagonally from the upper right to the
lower left is the figure of MARIA: and this can go one of two
ways:
1. It can be an idealized rendering of MARIA, up to and including
having her wear a robe and with angel-like wings sprouting from
her back.
2. It can be a traumatic memory, showing MARIA dying after having
been shot by G.U.N. I'll let Editorial make the call.
The following text boxes are to be arranged across the page; they
all represent SHADOW's thoughts.
Text box: "Her compassion! So much like that of Maria!"
Text box: "Maria...."
Text box: "She could not bring herself to fear me, or to hate
anyone."
Text box: "Even as she lay DYING, she thought of their happiness,
their dreams."
Text box: "Their dreams.
Page 4
Layout: Three rows of half-page panels.
Panel 1: a recap of the drawing of SHADOW's face from the lower
right corner of the previous page.
SHADOW
For the girl's sake, Eggman, you shall live.
Panel 2: SHADOW's finger in the foreground (only his hand is
visible) points to a cringing EGGMAN.
SHADOW
[off panel] But know that I'll be watching you.
SHADOW
And you'll never know where I am.
Panel 3: SHADOW in profile, speaking. From the look on his face,
he means business.
SHADOW
And if anything ever happens to the girl, there is no
power
that can stop your destruction.
Panel 4: Close-up of one of SHADOW's shoes as he stands next to
the upper half of MECHA's head, now a metallic half-skull lying
on the floor amid the debris.
SHADOW
[off panel] I'll leave you to your family.
Panel 5: HOPE and MINA, clinging to each other in fright, look at
SHADOW.
SHADOW
[off panel] CHAOS CONTROL!
Panel 6: a Chaos emerald green panel with an SFX word in red.
SFX: CRACK!
Note: I didn't realize it until after I'd written the story, but
that's the sound that is made when witches and wizards apperate
or disapperate in J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter books. But I
thought I'd keep it in anyway.
Page 5
Layout: one page-wide panel at the top, with two rows of half-
width panels beneath.
Panel 1: The scene is the stage from S134's "Say You Will" where
MINA did her concert. The only people in the mid-ground on-stage
are ASH and four HAMSTERS who are smaller and rounder than ASH.
One is orange and white, one if brown and white, one is beige and
white, and the other is gray and white. ASH is reading from a
clipboard.
ASH
So you're auditioning as dancers AND backup singers?
HAMSTER
Yeah, we....
ASH
Lessee what you got.
HAMSTER
1 ... 2 ...
Panel 2: the four HAMSTERS wave their paws in the air.
HAMSTERS
Dee da DEE da dee di DO do
Panel 3: the four HAMSTERS look and point stage left in the kind
of move you'd expect from a boy band.
HAMSTERS
DEE da do dee DOH
NOTE: Yes, this is an in-joke, which you would get instantly if
you've ever had the "pleasure" of surfing over to
hampsterdance.com. Knowing the connection won't take away from
what's to come, but those who are in on the joke will appreciate
it.
Panel 5: same as Panel 6 on page 4.
Panel 6: We see a pile-up as MINA and HOPE have landed on top of
the HAMSTERS. This is comic relief, so don't make it look too
serious.
Page 6
Layout: three rows of two half-page panels.
Panel 1: ASH is in the foreground, still looking at his
clipboard, his back to the pile which is in the mid-ground.
ASH
OK, we'll be in touch.
ASH
Mina, NICE of you to SHOW UP for rehearsal!
Note: I've read the description of ASH that accompanied the
character model on Jonathan Gray's Web site. ASH never really
got a chance to show anything like a softer side in S134's "Say
You Will," and I honestly thought that Karl Bollers was reprising
the Nice Girls And The Jerks They Fall For theme (see the Dulcy-
Zan pairing in "Crouching Hedgehog, Hidden Dragon"). So until
someone does a story about him showing him as a more rounded
character, ASH comes off like a real butt in this story.
Panel 2: HOPE, helping one of the HAMSTERS to its feel, reacts to
ASH.
ASH
[off panel] Warm up your voice.
ASH
[off panel] Start by telling the KID to GET LOST!
Panel 3: MINA approaches ASH.
MINA
Can you give us a MINUTE?
ASH
You got HALF.
Panel 4: MINA smiles as she approaches HOPE.
MINA
Listen, Hope, you can stop by our house whenever you
feel
like it.
HOPE
Are you sure?
Panel 5: Close-up of MINA taking HOPE's hands in her own.
MINA
[off panel] Of course!
MINA
[off panel] Think of it this way...
Panel 6: Pull back to show more of MINA and HOPE as the continue
holding onto one another's hands.
MINA
...you've got a MONGOOSE for a BIG SISTER.
HOPE
Sure beats having a ROBOT COUSIN!
Text box: End