NOT SUITABLE FOR MOST ADULT CONTENT!
My blog is full of swearing, bad words and very tasteless humor.
Some of it is sweet and fun and glittery. be warned! My bush baby just slammed its tender bits in a door...

Friday, November 6, 2009

under penalty of....

these showed up in a chain letter promising doom and gloom if I did not pass these on AND!!!!I couldn't keep a copy under extreme fear of some mumbo jumbo.( my brain seeping out my ear and losing my nose...)bottom line you make your own luck, and I liked these.

so remember, read and forget, or you ass will fall off!

ONE.. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. (GASP ya mean ya have to be nice...????)

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.( as peckers and hearing are the first to go.)

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. ( the first two I can see but YOU are not taking my naps away from me!)

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it. (YEAH!)

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye. (then just shut up, no BUT... or see it was like this, then it is not an "I'm sorry" it is a lame excuse)

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. (no comment~! they are right)

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. (yeah but then everyone else has to tell the two of you, that you are in love)

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. (the human condition is hard enough, don't be a dick weed)

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. (and by hurt they mean rip your heart out with a rusty razor blade, the drag it for 40 miles over broken glass, burn it to a singe, shit on it and then they hand it back to you, like a cat that brings you a dead thing with a smile on there face! YEAH!!!)

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly.. No name calling. (okfine, WHATEVER!)

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. (one day you will be the relatives, the scary ones, that take there teeth out and try and kiss you.)

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. ( this really helps if you DON'T do it the other way around)

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?' ( ahhh.. a meddler trap, look Mah I just caught me a meddler!)

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.( those who risk nothing, have nothing, do nothing, are nothing)

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze. ( hand them a tissue and remind them to wash there hands and change there underwear)

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. (and for GOSH sakes be a good loser nobody like a whiner!)

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. (and be a grown up about it!)

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now as to the love I have been getting from my followers that comment, thanks!
I am having my rough times, I am pissed, I have every right to be.
if I don't get this out safely I will hurt myself.
I always do.
so this is the place that I have to vent. my choice.
it will be rough to read, it is hell to feel it.
this is not a happy shiny place any more.
read if you want but the disclaimer reads like this:
ugly and putrid, welcome to the shit that sits in my head and is killing me slowly.
it will not be fun, it might be funny. it will be raw and like an open sore that you are picking at even though you know better. this is the shit that I torture myself with, that leaves me with no hair and open wounds on my body, cause I can't stop tearing at my self. None is actively abusing me but me. there are assholes, and if you give it you will get it in spades, good or bad.
you have been warned.