Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Poetry Arc of 25

i come upout of dark watersgasping in comfortthrowing up feardragging Christ into my lungsand for a momenti believe i've learned to swimand i can stay herewith himand thendown, down, downGod escapes in bubbles i push him out and awaymy fingers claw an inch of airbut my feet are heavy, so heavyimmersed in alone and leadand i'm gone-the surface and spirit above unseen and unknown belowand i know, i know, i knowsoon i'll have to come upor learn to breathe dark waters instead

November 25th, 2008

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hey youhey heartyou have no right to hurtso just beat your bloodand shut the fuck upi don’t care what you’ve heardyou’re a bloody fist, valves and tissuenot a romantic flowera sighing loverso stay out of my businessand try not to seize, palpitate, murmur or fail. Just try not to kill me thanksUnless I tell you tooBecause I hate being the bitchOf a mythological shape in my chestThat doesn’t exist

December 23rd, 2008

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I woke up and loved the captain of the football teamwith a Mohawk and 67 dodge and he had my heartbut I was too hard, too darkso I had himwhen we were alone and seventeenand for a few yearsthat was enough

but then I closed my eyesI woke up andloved a boy in a jeep andhe had my heartwith an unpacked room and a worn passporthe would kiss me then say “it’s just not right-“so I had himwhen we were weak and twentyand for a few yearsthat was enough

and then I woke up andthere was no lovethere was no heart to havebut there was blood on my boots, a coppery stain on my lipsand I was surrounded by those I’ve destroyedand those destroying mewhen i was dying and twenty-five

and now i wake upreformed and something moremy bones are still healingbut i love a spirit and communitypoets and theorists arisingdesiring more than words and wine and intellectual meaningforming into healers and lovers and their hearts are breakingso they can have my minei choose to love the wiser and betterthe fools that Christ loved in all their selfishness and glorynow that i am almost alive and twenty-five.