Sidney’s Game Guide: Two Swords, The Lion and the Rose, and Breaker of Chains

Editor’s Note: Initially we thought our site would be launching a little sooner than it did, and our Senior Popular Culture Correspondent, Sidney Stokes, started his ‘Game of Thrones” weekly recap series once the new season began. Unfortunately, there was no place for him to post his insight until we got going here so today’s recap will cover the first three episodes of this season. We now return you to your regularly scheduled content.

Way Previously on “Game of Thrones:

TWO SWORDS

Finally, everyone’s weekly excuse to yell, “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON” to their TV has returned to the airwaves and ya know, TV is a much better place for it.

Now I should express up front I have also read the books…but I promise to only discuss the show, all my smug comments about how I know what’s coming will stay where they belong: vocally expressed in a group of people I can feel the lamest sense of self superiority to with my advanced knowledge…as they roll their eyes.

The show did a great job on Sunday of bringing people back to, arguably, television’s most interesting world to explore. If all the promos for this season are an indication, we have so much more of the world left to see.

Like most season premieres of this show about 98% of was a recap of alllllllll the shit that went down last season. Which, reads as this,

“Death. Death. Death. YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. WEERRRRRRRRRK. Death.”

So if I had to sum up tonight’s episode, “Two Swords”, in the same way – it would be:

What…did you think I was gonna recap EVERYTHING that was happening…what…do you think I’m just like made of time here?

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go sit and wonder “Why is not Sunday?!”

Later days.

-Sidney

Slightly Less Previously on “Game of Thrones”:

THE LION AND THE ROSE

Ya see, after ALLLLLLLLL that sadness and death we’ve suffered through the last three seasons, Game of Thrones FINALLY gives the fans something we want…a death.

This episode does a spectacular job of really defining the season moving forward. Something Game of Thrones does better than most other shows, with multiple storylines, is that it keeps each one interesting and on point. That way if you don’t see a certain storyline one episode, you have so much great stuff to take in, that it doesn’t feel like you’ve ever wasted time on anything. The pacing of this show really knows how to keep the audience intrigued for the long haul.

Obviously all the actors on this show bring their A game, but a special shout out to one actor in particular: Jack Gleeson. Over 3 seasons, Jack Gleeson has made one of the most incredible villains. His performance will no doubt be people’s go-to answer when it comes to the question: “Who is TV’s best villain?”

In summation, “The Lion and the Rose”, is pretty much:

“Poor Theon. Whores have feelings too. Old women are sassy. Old men are awful. “Don’t fuck with Cersei. More gay stuff. More passive aggressive stuff. Don’t have a Game of Thrones themed wedding. Seriously, don’t fuck with Cersei.”

Ok, well Game of Thrones, season 4 is now officially underway…and just take a minute to remember something…this all happened…and it’s only episode 2.

Stay geek.

-Sidney

This week on “Game of Thrones”:

BREAKER OF CHAINS

Wait? That dickhead dies and shit is STILLLLLLL goin down?

…apparently, yes.

With Joffrey dead a major part of Game of Thrones history came to a close. This episode did a great job with seemingly laying the foundation for what’s ahead. This for sure more seems like a transitional episode and those are tricky. So kudos to all for doing it well.

There were a couple of things this episode that irked me a bit and at the same time, can’t pinpoint what it was so I guess it was more nitpicky things that probably don’t matter in the long-run won’t matter.

We really need to discuss a specific moment though: Tyrion’s scene with Pod. With Shae gone, Tyrion’s family against him, Pod was one of Tyrion’s last ties with his life as someone of high birth. Losing him is another great example of one chapter ending for another to begin. Tyrion seems to be the one to watch.

To sum up Breaker of Chains, I would have to say, “Cersei is still pissed. Tywin Lannister owns everything. The Lannisters might always pay their debts but that sex scene proves that a therapist isn’t on the payroll. Davos is adorable. Ygritte is still pissed. Hey blonde guy…call me. Daenerys’ new battle plan: S&M gear.”

I have this feeling that this episode was about as much of a break in any action we’re gonna get.