Not So Fast, 'G.I. Joe'

The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Paramount pushes a big flick back nine months, no one watches Idol anymore, but everyone loves Adam Lambert.

Uh oh. Paramount has decided to pull its G.I. Joe sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation from the summer movie schedule and move it allllll the way to next March. Yikes! It's not because the movie is terrible or anything, no no no, that's not why, it's because they want to take the time to add 3D so the movie will do better internationally. So that means another delayed movie for poor Adrianne Palicki, though honestly the longer she can go not being associated with G.I. Joe: Retaliation probably the better. And Channing Tatum doesn't care, he's got his stripper movie coming out this summer anyway, so this way he just gets to prolong the fame. And as for The "Dwayne Johnson" Rock? Well who knows. He was busy in Hawaii frolicking around in volcano fire at press time so couldn't be reached. Anyway, hopefully this is enough advance notice to cancel all of your big G.I. Joe: Retaliation parties and still get the deposit back on the venue and caterers and stuff. I know you're probably disappointed, but think of how much better this will be in 3D. By our math, three times better. [Deadline]

The performance half of the American Idol finale earned the lowest ratings of any Idol finale ever last night, with a meager 14.4 million people tuning in, a 30% drop from last year. Ratings have been down all throughout this lackluster season, which has strangely been populated by pretty much across-the-board technically good singers, but very few who were, y'know, artistically interesting. Is this the end for Idol? Oh mercy no, probably not. It just means they'll do a ton of retooling for next season and then if next season tanks, well, then maybe, yes. [Deadline]

But before you start getting down about the whole American Idol institution, know this: Eighth season runner-up and known skinsuit wearer Adam Lambert has the number one album in the country right now according to Billboard. His Trespassing debuted last week and sold 77,181 copies. So, good for Idol and gay Frankenstein and all that, but, um, not so much for the music industry? Remember when the number one album for a week would sell, like, hundreds of thousands of records? I feel like it even topped a million a few times there in the late '90s? Wha' happened, guys? This is not good. We're happy for Adam Lambert, America's most popular musician (shudder), and all, but jeez it does not say good things about the music industry in general, does it? 77,000? 'NSYNC could sell that in like an hour. But, things have changed. And of course all of 'NSYNC died at that mysterious party that Justin Timberlake had at his mansion. So. Oh well. [The Hollywood Reporter]

Ha! So you know how Lee Daniels (Precious) is making that movie The Butler, a real-life story about a butler who worked at the White House throughout eight different presidential administrations? Well, yeah, he is doing that movie and guess who he's just cast as Jackie O? Minka Kelly! Yes, ol' Lyla Garrity herself, putting on the pillbox and stepping into the East Wing. That's kind of hilarious casting. Not because Kelly doesn't look the part or anything, it's just that she's so associated with being the pretty Texan girl and for dating Derek Jeter that seeing her all done up like Jacqueline Kennedy is definitely going to seem like a kid playing dress up. I mean, that's all of acting, but doesn't this feel like it's going to be even more so? Eh, whatever. Congratulations, Minka! Now go comfort Adrianne, who was so excited about G.I. Joe and now has only Red Dawn and some movie with Josh Groban to look forward to. [Screen Daily via Vulture]

True Grit star and onetime potential Katniss Everdeen Hailee Steinfeld has been cast in a new teen romantic comedy. She'll be the lead in Why We Broke Up, about a coffee-drinking movie nerd girl who starts dating a basketball star guy and then breaks up with said guy. Their relationship is recounted in flashbacks as the girl goes through a box of stuff she intends to dump on the dude's porch. So that sounds fun and age-appropriate, and could maybe open her up to a more commercial kind of career. Have fun, Hailee. And stay away from the basketball stars. [Deadline]

Uh, Christopher Guest might be developing an improvised TV show that will be shopped to cable and possibly Netflix. Good grief. That is very exciting. If you Hollywood types screw this up you're all bastard people. Oh, man. I gotta go home and bite my pillow. [Vulture]

Everyone has someone on their holiday shopping list who’s impossible to buy for. For the second year in a row, we asked Atlantic readers to describe their someone, and brainstormed a few perfect gift ideas for them.