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Thursday, April 28, 2011

I can not believe my oldest has me by about 3 inches already... (HOW DID THAT HAPPEN SO FAST??:)NOTICE THE PAINFUL EXPRESSION ON MY FACE???

I was wheezing,laughing at my own slowness,giving Louis the hand because I could not respond to any of his questions (I was so out of breath)pushing myself to make it 1/4 of a mile at a slow jog,trying to catch my breath,and wondering how on earth I will lose this baby weight if I can barely make it to the corner in my neighborhood (which is not far at all mind you:).

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to have the baby weight to lose...Absolutely thrilled!!!

I guess this is what 70 days on bedrest will do to you:)

Honestly, it is kind of strange to me that I am sooooo out of shape. I have been walking the neighborhood the last month and really can walk a few miles with out even huffing and puffing, but increase that to a jog and I am struggling big time...Literally Louis and I almost had a laughing fit when I realized that my arms hurt so badly after trying to move them while jogging for a 1/4 of a mile... it was ridiculous. Then we laughed even more recalling how I am normally the one shouting the encouragement to keep the kids going... the roles were certainly reversed today.

I usually love running in the rain... today was a different story... it was cold and my legs felt like tree trunks... we will see how long it takes for that to improve.

So thankful to have had the reason to be on bedrest... so thankful to God for an able body that will hopefully remember the days, not too long past of exercising:)

If you look closely, you can see this precious little swirl of hair on the top right of his forehead in the picture...

There are so many details of a newborn that are just so sweet and fleeting... we are soaking them all in these days... Levi is an absolute joy. I can't tell you how many times the kids say, "Mom, I am so glad Levi is here with us!"

We survived the busyness of the Easter week for Greg but now truly it will only get busier as the Head pastor at our church goes on Sabatical for the next 5 weeks. May usually has some of the busiest weeks with the end of school, and since our church has a grade school that will mean lots of extra night activities for him.

I honestly am not worried. I know he will do great, and since we know about it all we can carve out some family time, which will carry us through the busy times:) When the cup is full , so to speak, we all manage so much better. We did have to postpone a family trip we had planned for May, but hopefully we can get it on the calendar for June...

I had my 6 week appt. yesterday... it was so funny... when my Doctor came in he gave me a big hug. I brought him cookies to share with the nurses. It was really nice to see him after seeing him everyday in the hospital, and then not seeing him for 6 weeks. I guess I had never told Greg he came to visit me every morning while I was in there for 7 weeks. He couldn't believe it when we were talking about it on the way home. My doctor did go above and beyond the call of duty to help get Levi here safely. I am so so so grateful to him. He is just such a nice person... I love that we share a common faith and I feel like God directed us right to him. What a gift a good doctor is:)

Saturday, April 23, 2011

THIS IS HOW I FOUND HOPE THE OTHER DAY... SOMEHOW SHE HAD FOUND THE BREAST PUMP... AIY YI YI!!

THIS IS TOTALLY A JOJO EXPRESSION, CAPTURED BY LOU WHEN THE BIG KIDS WERE EXPLORING WITH FRIENDS IN WOODS LAST SUNDAY:)

SWEET SISTERS... WHAT A GIFT FROM GOD!

BOY WE HAVE SO MUCH TO CELEBRATE THIS EASTER! LAST YEAR AT THIS TIME, WE DIDN'T KNOW IF WE WOULD GET TO KEEP HOPE. WE HAD BEEN IN CONTACT WITH OUR DONOR MOM (FOR LEVI) BUT I NEVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED THAT WE WOULD BE BLESSED WITH SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE ...THAT SWEET LITTLE BABY BOY! GOD IS SO SO SO GOOD!

RIGHT NOW THE BIG BOYS ARE OFF AT CHURCH WITH GREG AND WILL LEAVE AGAIN TOMORROW MORNING AT 4:30 AM TO GO HELP WITH SUNRISE SERVICE AND THE EASTER BREAKFAST.

THE LITTLES AND I STAYED HOME TONIGHT AS SWEET BABY BOY HAD QUITE THE FUSSY SPELL THIS AFTERNOON... I THINK HIS TUMMY WAS HURTING HIM. GREG FINALLY HAD HIM ALL SNUGGLED ON HIS CHEST AND SETTLED DOWN AND I JUST KEPT KISSING HIM, TELLING HIM HE COULD CRY ALL DAY AND WE WOULD STILL LOVE HIM:)

MAN MY HEART IS BURSTING WITH LOVE FOR THAT LITTLE FELLA... IN FACT HE IS STILL SLEEPING ON THE COUCH AS WE SPEAK:)

A FEW WEEKS BACK OUR FRIENDS FROM CHURCH INFORMED US THAT WE WERE HOSTING EASTER:) WE HAVE THE MOST SPACE FOR KIDS TO RUN AROUND IS THE REASON WE WERE GIVEN:) ACTUALLY WE ARE THRILLED. I LOVE HAVING PEOPLE OVER, I AM JUST PRAYING THAT THE RAIN STAYS AWAY SO THE KIDS CAN RUN AROUND OUTSIDE TO THEIR HEARTS CONTENT. THEY ARRANGED ALL THE FOOD SO THE WORK WILL BE LIGHT FOR US:) AND ACTUALLY AS MUCH AS I DON'T LOVE CLEANING... I DO LOVE HAVING A REASON TO GET THE HOUSE PICKED UP:)

I HAVE PROBABLY 7 LOADS OF LAUNDRY TO FOLD SO I THINK THAT WE WILL DO BATHS, THEN JOJO, ANNA AND I WILL PUT HOPE DOWN AND FOLD SOME LAUNDRY WHILE WE WATCH OUR MATTHEW VIDEO. I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO WATCH THE EASTER PART OF THE GOSPEL ALL WEEK WITH THE KIDS.

PRAYING THAT YOU ALL HAVE A VERY BLESSED EASTER TOMORROW! HE IS RISEN! I HAVE A NEW FAVORITE SONG I WILL TRY TO POST TOMORROW MORNING... OH GLORIOUS DAY!!!

Friday, April 22, 2011

HERE IS THE NECKLACE I PICKED OUT LAST WEEK WHEN GREG AND I WENT TO THE VINTAGE PEARL...

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! IT BRINGS ME GREAT JOY TO BE ABLE TO WEAR SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS MY LIFE'S GREATEST TREASURES:)

When Anna and went to pick it up, we ordered something for her with the gift certificates I received last time we were there ordering mine. Anna was thrilled and we had a ball while we were there, just looking. They have so many different, neat items.

While we were there I came across a bracelet with a really cool quote on it by Eleanor Roosevelt...

A Woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water...

So so true... sort of reminds me of being put through the refiner's fire. My, it is hard and hurts at the time, but oh the growth that comes from those times... But when you are in the heat of the "hot water" so to speak, you may just feel ready to get out of that hot tub! Praise God He is faithful to carry us through those times.

We had Good Friday service tonight and all the kids sat great. Really, they all usually do very well, but with Hope it can be a little up for grabs... she is never really bad, just incredibly busy, and constantly wanting to be moving. 2 services down and 2 more to go for this weekend. As much as Good Friday is hard, reflecting on the GREAT sacrifice of our Lord and Savior, Jesus, I love going to church this night. It is such a great reminder for me to each year when we have that passion story read to us again. It ALWAYS helps to refocus me right before Easter...

Sunday, April 17, 2011

THIS PICTURE WASN'T TAKEN TODAY, BUT I COULDN'T HELP BUT POST ONE OF THIS SWEET LITTLE GUY!

OUR FAMILY IN FRONT OF THE BAPTISMAL FONT THAT WAS GIVEN IN MEMORY OF SAMUEL...

ALL THE KIDS GETTING READY TO GO HIKING AND EXPLORING IN THE WOODS.

(I HAVE TO PREFACE THIS BY SAYING THAT MY SPELL CHECK HAS NOT BEEN WORKING FOR A WHILE... NOT SURE WHAT IT UP WITH THAT... BUT WANTED TO GIVE YOU FAIR WARNING...SORRY:)

We had a really special Sunday today. Back when Samuel died, in lieu of flowers we had money given to SHOW HOPE (Steven Curtis Chapman's adoption organization) and our church to go towards a new baptismal font. It was taking FOREVER to get the font done and I remember mentioning to Greg after I got pregnant with Levi at some point that I REALLY wanted it to be done by the time I had this baby. I think the church originally had an idea of what they wanted done, but I am not sure why, but that plan fell through. So about 6 months ago Greg and I started to try to come up with some new ideas for the font. I wanted something that wasn't super traditional, somewhat simple, and unique in some way... just like our Samuel was unique, a one of a kind creation:) For the amount that was given in memory of Samuel the church was able to get 3 different things... one will be a more permanent baptismal area since the stone is HUGE and won't be able to be moved, a real small one for our chapel area, and then the one that Levi was baptized in today.

I love what Greg picked out... the pictures we took today really don't show the font itself very well at all. (Maybe we will be able to post a better one when we get some better pictures of it) The stone is really neat and is actually shaped in a triangle to represent the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Levi's sponsors are our good friends the Tiews, our niece Ella, Louis, and Caleb. I know they will all be praying for Levi as he grows and will be making sure that our little guy continues to know His Savior more and more as he grows older.

It was an emotional day... In the 2nd song today I remember specifically singing the line, "Mourning turns to songs of Praise" I could hardly sing it... I am so thankful that the Lord has turned my mourning into songs of Praise. I have been praising him a lot over the last 2 1/2 years but wow, there have been times, I just had to force myself to do it... to praise Him regardless of how I was feeling... but now I can't help myself... His faithfulness through my life is amazing to me!

There were a couple of times that my hubby was choked up... when he dedicated the new baptismal font given in memory of Samuel, and then too when he actually got to baptize Levi. During communion we sang "In Christ Alone". I love that song... we sang that at Samuel's memorial service too. Louis and I were sort of giggling this afternoon recalling communion. He was next to me up at communion and I was totally worshipping with my eyes closed that he had to elbow me a bit when the elder came to give me communion... I was in my own world... just me and my God!

We had a bunch of friends over after church for BBQ to celebrate the gift of this little boy:) We were so happy that my in laws were able to make it to town as well. (I tell you our friends are so gracious, during church Greg informed me that he had to help with the new member class after church and I remembered that it was our Sunday to clean up the kitchen... so even though some sweet person cleaned up the kitchen for us, we were a bit delayed with lunch... are we great hosts or what??:)

It was a sweet afternoon of eating, hanging out and visiting... the only bummer part was we did have one broken bone (a friend's son's arm) after a wrestling match on the trampoline... we are praying for Josh to heal quickly after they get the final word tomorrow on what needs to be done....

I am so glad to see that baptismal font finished. As a mom, I couldn't wait to see the finished product of what was given in memory of my precious Samuel... it was hard to have to wait so long. And to have Levi be able to be baptized in it was so very special to me. I am feeling so blessed these days.

We have an extremely busy week coming up... my in laws leave tomorrow and we have precious friends stopping and staying a couple of nights on their way back to Houston and then services every day Thursday through Sunday. I know that regardless of the busyness that I want to spend some time focusing with the kids on all that Christ did for us this week. Because of His death and Resurrection we too can spend eternity with Him... I am so thankful that He paid the price for me... giving me that free gift of Salvation. God is so good!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Here are 2 of the 3 kittens our outdoor cat had this week. We thought we would let her have 1 litter before we get her "fixed" The kids are already trying to convince us to let her have another litter before we fix her since as they put it, "3 is really not a very big litter." The kids are enjoying these little furballs... but boy can they be loud for being so little :)

We got some pretty good golf ball size hail with the storm we had last night during dinner. OH... MY.... GOODNESS! The part of the storm that came through at around 10:00 had this mama in the bathroom with the littles... Of course it suddenly got SO loud that I couldn't hear Greg telling us to go in there, I just went myself because IT WAS SCARY! About 10 minutes later we heard our little towns tornado warning sirens going off. By then things had totally already calmed down. It was a little late for the warning in my opinion:)

I have ALWAYS been fearful of tornadoes. I think it might stem from the fact that I remember parts of the roof of my grade school being blown off when I was in Kindergarten. We weren't in school that day, but it still freaked me out. And here comes some embarrassing info... I remember being probably in junior high or high school and during REALLY bad storms going into my parents room and sleeping on the floor. That just felt safer to me:)

Here is Hope with the kids collection of hail from the storm...

This did not occur yesterday, but in a wind storm we had about 2 weeks ago... This HUGE tree house Greg and the boys built literally blew right over. I think that thing was at least 1,000 pounds. The sort of humorous thing was that Greg and I had just taken a walk literally 2 days before and were discussing taking it down. Now that Greg put up the swing set which has a couple of houses on it, we thought maybe it was time to cut down on the yard toys our neighbors have to look at. Literally 2 days later Greg woke me up and said, "I think the decision was made for us, the tree fort blew over last night"

In the CRAZY winds of last nights storm... the smaller slide on our BIG play set was literally torn off. AYE YI YI! Our trampoline stayed put, but our neighbors got pretty mangled. I am not sure I like these Oklahoma storms much at all. Today I heard that 9 people were killed in OK and AR. during those storms... so sad. Greg and I went our for lunch today since my in laws are in town and we did discuss possibly putting in a storm shelter... Hmmm who knows... This Wisconsin girl misses her basement:(

While we were out, the two of us ordered my mother's day present. (Tonya, did you know that there is actually a VINTAGE PEARL store in our town?) OH MY!!! I could go crazy in there. I think I have my Christmas present already picked out. They have the cutest pea in a pod necklace that I was eyeing up. I will put up a picture when I get my gift next week... I can't wait! I love it! They have to be a Christian owned store; they had great Christian tunes playing the whole time we were in there. It made me happy that their business is so successful, it was packed in there the whole time we were there. Go check out their sweet gifts and items at http://www.vintagepearl.com/

Ok, I better run, I am going to try to get my hospital bags totally unpacked today... it has only been a whole month:) I really did have better things to do than unpack though, like snuggling on that sweet little guy of ours... as well as his older brothers and sisters.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT LEVI IS ALREADY 4 WEEKS OLD. IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE THAT 4 WEEKS HAVE PASSED ALREADY. I JUST WANT TIME TO STAND STILL WITH THIS LITTLE GUY... SERIOUSLY I LOVE IT WHEN HE IS SOUND ASLEEP AFTER EATING AND I CAN JUST LAY HIM IN MY LAP AND STARE AT HIM... HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL...

I SORT OF LAUGH AND FEEL LIKE I CAN BRAG ON HOW PRECIOUS HE IS.... BECAUSE I KNOW I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT:)

MY MEND LEADERSHIP CONFERENCE WAS REALLY GOOD. I LEARNED A LOT. I DO HAVE TO ADMIT IT WAS KIND OF EMOTIONALLY DRAINING FOR ME. I AM NOT FULLY SURE WHY. I HAVE NEVER SPENT THAT MUCH TIME WITH OTHER WOMEN WHO HAD LOSSES LIKE OURS. I REALLY ENJOYED GETTING TO KNOW THE OTHER WOMEN THAT I DID AND I AM PRAYING ABOUT MY ROLE IN MEND. I LOVE THE ORGANIZATION AND FEEL REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT BEING THERE FOR OTHER WOMEN WHEN THEY ARE FRESH IN THEIR GRIEF. I STILL THANK GOD FOR MEND, AS I TRULY DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE HAD THEY NOT BEEN HERE IN THE FIRST YEAR AFTER SAMUEL DIED.

WE HAD A BOWLING FUNDRAISER TODAY FOR A MINISTRY AT CHURCH... WE HAD A BALL... WE ALL SORT OF STINK WHEN IT COMES TO BOWLING, BUT WE REALLY HAD A GOOD TIME.

I AM OFF TO HIT THE HAY... I JUST WANTED TO SHARE A FEW PICS OF THE BIG 4 WEEK OLD:)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Last night all of our pictures were scrolling through the computer and up popped our pictures from our only day with Samuel here in our arms... Looking in the eyes of my family in those photos hurts my heart... still so much. I am amazed at all God has carried my kids through in this last 2+ years and I pray ferverantly that the Lord is going to use that to do mighty things in their hearts.... that God will use them to minister to others in their lives that may be hurting... that God will use the hurt to help proclaim God's faithfulness to others through the storms of this life... Then I gaze into their eyes in the following photos and I see the faithfulness of our God all over the smiles and shining in their eyes! I am so VERY grateful that the Lord has allowed this beautiful little baby boy to grace our lives, and to light the fires in our hearts full with love, full of love for him, eachother, and our God!!! Anna and her sweet boy.... watching her get the opportunity to be the little mommy that I always see in her, is melting my heart these days! SUCH SWEET LOVE!!!

Jojo is growing up... he lost his first top tooth while I was in the hospital... now his whole face looks a little different when he smiles... Jojo says he thinks that Levi is SO AWESOME!

Most people would never know it from talking to Caleb because he is such a busy, sports loving kind of kid... but he is a BABY LOVER! He always has been... Last night I was up at 2:00 am (The truth be told, I had only gone to bed 45 minutes earlier) feeding Levi... he was crying when I changed his diaper and out comes Caleb... he came, sat, talked with me, and just watched Levi as he finished up eating... then off, back to bed he went!

I know, I know, Louis' glasses on the top of his head are about the size of ski goggles:)... Here he was the very first time he got to hold this sweet little miraculous Levi... I am so blessed to have this big boy around the house to help hold down the fort:)

Does this grin say it all or what??? I laughed when I first posted this on facebook, a gal from church said, "Watch out, she will be pinching him any second!"

You know that is what I would have thought before Levi was born... but Hope has done sooooo well with her. Of course I would NEVER trust her alone in a room with him, but she has done nothing but love on him. She is usually full of the hootspa and gusto, but truly with Levi she has always been gentle. I am so thankful. I know that may change ... but she has done so well and is so sweet with him when she gets the chance...

Honestly, this little guy is always being loved on by the bigger kids she barely can get a hand on him:)

By the way, I am off tomorrow for an overnight with my leader from my MEND group here in Tulsa to the leadership conference in Dallas... I am praying that I will learn lots that will help us be able to continue to minister to hurting mom's and their families here in our area...

About Me

I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom to 8 wonderful children. Our 5th child Samuel went from his home in my cozy womb to His Heavenly Fathers arms on October 29th 2008, just 1 day after his due date. We still miss him like crazy everyday.
We have since added our daughter, Hope Jubilee, to our family through domestic adoption, as of August 2010. In March of 2011 we were blessed with the birth of our son Levi, who is a miraculous gift we received through embryo adoption. And we anticipate the finalization of our adoption of Isaiah in early May 2013.
This is not the life we ever anticipated living, but we are in awe of God's plans for our family. We are living life surrendering to the will and plans of our Heavenly Father...
Our life is one filled with great joy as we daily live life, and as we look forward with great anticipation to being united with our Savior and reunited with our son Samuel in Heaven.

Followers

SAMUEL'S NAME IN THE SAND

A FAVORITE PICTURE OF OUR FIRST 5

ME AND MY HONEY

OUR LOUIS

OUR CALEB

OUR ANNA

OUR JOJO

OUR SAMUEL...SAFE IN HEAVEN

Baby Joel safe in Heaven

OUR SWEET BABY GIRL

Levi... our miracle through embryo adoption

Our Isaiah

Please Be Gentle By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.The sea I swim in is a lonely oneand the shore seems miles away.Waves of despair numb my soulas I struggle through each day.My heart is heavy with sorrow. I want to shout and screamand repeatedly ask 'why?'At times, my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly,so great is my loss.Please don’t turn away or tell me to move on with my life.I must embrace my painbefore I can begin to heal.Companion me through tearsand sit with me in loving silence.Honor where I am in my journey,not where you think I should be.Listen patiently to my story,I may need to tell it over and over again.It’s how I begin to graspthe enormity of my loss.Nurture me throughthe weeks and months ahead.Forgive me when I seemdistant and inconsolable.A small flame still burns within my heart,and shared memories may triggerboth laughter and tears.I need your support and understanding.There is no right or wrong way to grieve.I must find my own path.Please, will you walk beside me?

Remembering

RememberingGo ahead and mention my child,The one that died, you know.Don't worry about hurting me further.The depth of my pain doesn't show.Don't worry about making me cry.I'm already crying inside.Help me to healby releasing the tears that I try to hide.I'm hurt when you just keep silent,Pretending he didn't exist.I'd rather you mention my child,Knowing that he has been missed.You asked me how I was doing.I say "pretty good" or "fine".But healing is something ongoingI feel it will take a lifetime.~ Elizabeth Dent ~