We're taking the week to be extra kind to ourselves. How? By whispering sweet nothings to ourselves, of course. You heard me right. No matter where we look or how hard we try to get others to give us the approval we are in desperate need of, we are the only ones who can give us exactly what we need; kindness, love and liberating, unconditional approval.

Everyday this week I will be sharing an image from the I am Enough Flickr pool to offer some simple self-talk ideas. Whisper them, shout them out, sing them to yourself. But whatever you do, use a genuine voice; warm, welcoming, wonderful.

You're talking to yourself after all, so be kind.

As always, you are welcome to share your own kind words with us either in the comments below or in our Flickr pool. You can just never get too much self-kindness.

A note from Tracey: Ever since the very first post here at the Collaborative, I've been asked a lot of questions; a number of which I don't feel qualified to answer. But I am happy to be introducing someone to you who is very qualified and is a well-spring of knowledge on worthiness and enoughness. She is not only an incredible human being, she's a dear friend. A special thank you to Brené Brown fo sharing her insights with us.

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If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the past decade, it’s that love and belonging are essential to the human experience. In The Gifts of Imperfection, I write,

“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all women, men, and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick. There are certainly other causes of illness, numbing, and hurt, but the absence of love and belonging will always lead to suffering.”

As I conducted my research, I realized that only one thing separated the men and women who felt a deep sense of love and belonging from the people who seem to be struggling for it. That one thing is the belief in their worthiness.

It’s as simple and complicated as this: If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.

When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness—the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving.

Our sense of worthiness—that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging—lives inside of our story. For me it all comes down to this:

My story matters because I matter. I am absolutely enough.

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About Brené Brown

Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW is a researcher, writer, and professor. To read more about Brené and her work, visit her website or check out her Ordinary Courage blog. Bio photo courtesy of Andrea Scher.