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Stories of Travel and Love

Falling in and out of love belongs to traveling like collecting stamps from foreign places in your passport. Hands up, who has never met ‘the love of their life’ (or the moment) on the road – or at least helplessly lost their hearts to a city, a country or an area. I am certainly guilty of scattering splinters of my heart wherever I go, and sometimes those splinters are directed at a man I meet on the way.

Travel brings not only those flickering romances that may or may not turn into real love; travel can also cause or mend broken hearts; it can connect lovers over a long distance; or it can cause the most beautiful and most crucial feeling at the same time: love-sickness.

I hope you’re all nodding in agreement with me right now! I suspect you enjoy those stories of travel and love as much as I do, therefore I’m going to share three of them with you.

1) The story of a broken heart

It was the beginning of a long cold winter. I had just moved to Berlin and although it had only been a few weeks since I was finally over my last break-up, I had met this guy. He was tall, Australian and knew everything about street art – a winning combination, especially in Berlin. We spent our time exploring neighborhoods, cafes and festivals that I will forever and always associate with him. Slowly winter became spring and we also got to know each other. I realized there was a darkness in his past, of which I didn’t know how to replace it with light. Of course, I tried anyways; needless to say, that I failed. I had already decided to move away again in a couple of months time, and he was nowhere ready for a casual fling, even less a long-distance relationship. Not exactly a winning hand for love… There I was, sobbing in my living room, all I had left from him, his tag on my kitchen blackboard. He stayed away from me – for about one month. Naive romantic that I am – we both were – we soon rebounded to the exact same place we had been before. We tried to forget about the inevitable end of our precious time together and spent a summer of blinding love. Then he pulled trigger for the second and final time, days before I was embarking on an epic holiday to the Brazilian rainforest. And there I was sobbing, crying and screaming again – louder this time – dreading the journey ahead of me.

Of course, the flights were booked and there was nothing I could do. I had always dreamt of Brazil and the Amazon rainforest, I wouldn’t let a broken heart ruin that. Or, so I thought… Although others have told their stories of how travel mended their broken hearts, all I felt was isolation. I was on my own, I didn’t speak the language and I was not entirely sure what to expect. Like at home, the first few days of my trip, I spent more time weeping in my hotel bed than out and about exploring. Travel did not take my mind off him, being far away and alone only made it worse. Although I did eventually venture out into the wild and made some unforgettable memories, I will always remember this trip as a journey of heartache and grieve. It took months and yet another relocation to mend my broken heart, but I also took away some lessons from it:

1. Solo traveling with a broken heart can be the loneliest experience of your life – but it might also be the most important step towards a mended heart.

2. You have two options: grieve and let it all out in paradise, or distract yourself with activities and grieve when you’re back home – if you’re wise, you choose the latter because…

3. …nothing is as bad as being in an amazing place and not allowing yourself to enjoy it to the fullest.

2) The story of an unfulfilled dream

I was never one to hold back my emotions and affection, and I probably kissed just as many foreigners on holidays than men in my own hometown. Unless somebody just ripped my heart out of my chest, travel leaves me in an euphoric state of mind that is infectious. When I left for my first big solo trip to Canada, I was happy and single, and had no plans of changing that anytime soon. Of course, that changed when I met him.

He, a local this time, was perfect – outdoorsy, a climber’s body, into photography and loads of travel stories to tell. He had offered his couch on CouchSurfing and I happened to crash it twice before realizing what I had gotten myself into. Upon my third visit to Vancouver in two months, my final weekend in Canada, I found myself once again in his flat. It took less time than one film – The Fantastic Mr. Fox, until this day one of my favorite films, not at last because of him – and I knew I would not be sleeping on the couch again. An intense Halloween weekend in the Squamish forests and a heart-wrenching goodbye later, I boarded my long flight home, not knowing what would happen with us next. Could I have fallen in love that quickly? Would we have clicked under other circumstances as well? Was this just a CS fling? Those and many other questions roamed my mind for months. We kept in touch, while he had gone off to travel South America for six months. One day just before Christmas, I held a postcard in my hand – it was a photograph of him wearing a Santa hat at Machu Picchu. On the back he wrote, ‘Come join me.’ I was on a rollercoaster of feelings – I changed my mind weekly, until finally I decided to book a flight to join him at the end of his journey. All I knew was, that he was leaving from Costa Rica and which date, so I booked flights for three weeks to/from San Jose. I did not tell him immediately – I thought, either he’ll be there to meet me, or I’ll have three amazing weeks in Costa Rica. I had always wanted to go there, so either way, it would be great.

Of course, I did tell him a few days later. Of course, he picked me up from the airport in our rental car. Of course, it was like we had just said goodbye yesterday. Of course, we spent three amazing weeks together, zip-lined, kayaked, surfed, almost crashed our car, survived, laughed and loved. Not once though, did we talk about what would happen once we were home again – neither of us wanted to face reality. We wanted to make the most out of our holiday together and ignore the fact that soon a continent and an ocean would lie between us.

After returning home, I was heartbroken and we wrote many love notes. Eventually, the time passing between those messages became longer and longer. We had both gone on with our lives. Much later, he opened up to me, that for a long time he hoped as well, we would find a way somehow, but now I know, that neither of us was 100% ourselves when we were together. We were on holidays, we were looking for a way to escape reality, and we held on to a dream world that only existed in our hearts. It would have never worked out – two workaholics, on two different continents, with aversion towards LDRs. It took me some time to let go, but again I came out wiser:

1. Throughout your life, you meet people with the potential to be your soulmate, but sometimes the timing is just not right.

3) The story of a better future?

Fast forward a bit and I am still in the city I chose to relocate to after the story of a broken heart. I am settled in, I have friends and a professional network, the university offered me the possibility to stay for another three years and I accepted. For the first time I know I will still be in the same place a year from now, and as if Cupid had anticipated that (or Tinder – who knows), my path crossed his.

Although we have not been together for that long, I feel comfortable writing about us – even though I know he will probably read it. Something is different this time – there is the soulmate potential, there is 100% acceptance, there are dreams of reality-material, and most important of all, the timing finally seems right. Ticking all the boxes, no?

If only, had it not been for my trips to Austria and Ecuador, which had been in the planning long before I met him. Two days after our first date, I left the country for an entire week; a month later I would be gone for over two weeks. The worry of the first trip was, ‘Will I see him again?’ (yes, I did); but the challenge of the second trip was to really enjoy it, although every inch of my body wanted to be somewhere else. Of course, I know that this is ridiculous – it’s only a short holiday, and to the Galapagos Islands after all – but leaving your heart behind is never easy, right?

So, how do you cope with being love-sick when traveling?

I have learnt, that it is very similar to handling homesickness: the essential part is to stay in the moment. If your thoughts are always focusing on how much you miss your partner, you won’t be able to thrive in the experiences you make. Being miserable for a day is alright, being miserable for a week in a cool place is just a waste of time, money and opportunities. Travel enriches your character, so ideally you will return with even more facets to your personality than before – or at least more stories to tell. Keep yourself busy with activities and surrounded by new people, so you don’t have the time to curl up in your bed crying. Try as many new things as possible, as those will tire you out and you’ll fall asleep before your head hits the pillow. Keeping in touch on FB, Whatsapp or Skype is good, just don’t overdo it – you still want some stories to tell and photos to show when you’re back home. As I’m a very chatty person, I simply told everybody I met our story. That way it felt a little, like he’s just gone to the loo and I’m keeping up the conversation in the meantime. I’m also collecting a little list of activities, places and recipes I enjoyed in particular, things that ideally I’d like to share with him on a future holiday or a way to recreate my trip back home. This somehow makes him part of my experiences already, and he doesn’t seem so far away. Last but not least, always remember, you are far better off than your partner at home – at least you are the one discovering all these new things!

Like my passport is filled with stamps from foreign countries, my heart is covered with signs of the good, the bad and the ugly love stories that have accompanied me on my journeys. Although some made me go through more pain than I thought I could take at that time, there is no way, I’d do anything differently – every trip and every broken heart taught me important lessons, gave me new perspectives and I learnt how to handle the challenges of love and travel.

Have you ever had a happy or not so happy experience of love and travel yourself? Feel free to share them in the comments – I’d love to hear them and maybe we could start a series with your experiences?

Author:

Kathi left her home town Vienna behind as soon as she could say, 'I'm 18 now'. After studying and watching movies for money at film festivals in Denmark, Iceland and Berlin, she now has a new hometown: Glasgow, Scotland! Kathi is always preparing her next trip, documenting her every step with her camera, pen and phone. Her all time favourites are the beautiful nature of Iceland, Costa Rica and Canada. Find out more about travel in Scotland & beyond on her blog and her Instagram @watchmesee. Website: http://www.watchmesee.com/

12 Comments

When I came to Belgium on a student exchange, I bounced around a lot before meeting an amazing guy with two months to go. With one month to go, my parents came over to visit, and on a quiet evening in a restaurant in Luxembourg an old couple told us how they had met 40 years before as exchange students in Spain. "Be careful," the wife warned my mom, "or else she will fall in love and never come home."

My mom already sensed it was too late - and although I came home for a year, I'm now four years on living in Belgium with him. Love can really change the trajectory of your life!

Some people says going to the same spot might help you to erase memories with your love one, but personally that's not a good idea! Few years ago I fall in love with someone before I actually boarding to his place (country), we met and have a great time together. Later on we visit another country together and he also visiting my beloved country too.What a great memories! After a while our love fade away, been foolish for simply trusting people idea, I travel to his country again to heal my heart as well thinking of taking back my half heart.. (since I left my half heart with him). On my mind at that time "this is the best idea but it turn out to be the most wrong choice! Instead of taking back my heart, I'm leaving my heart again to someone new! Well of course we had a great memories and time too, but at last I lost something that very precious to me, not only lost it but the sense of guilty haunting me everyday..... "Never ever to go to the same spot to heal your heart broken because it will lead you to a wrong choice". Up till now I can't forgave myself as well not giving any thought of going there again even though my heart really miss that country so much!...

It was the spring of 2006 and I was living in London for the third time and having the time of my life as I always do in London.

A year earlier I had gone through a very difficult breakup and I was determined to be single for many years to come. My plan was to move to Australia in the following year.

One day I got an invitation to go to a friend's birthday party at a bar in Piccadilly and went with my colleagues from work.

That night I met a South African Durbanite and we talked for hours. It's a cliché but I could feel this was someone very special, kind-hearted and considerate, and that this time was different.

I almost didn't go that night as it was pouring down rain and I was tired after a long Wednesday at work. But I am so glad that I did because I met him; it took me three months of denying how crazy I was about him until I realized I was falling for him and we got together at last in August 2006.

From that point onwards, we have been together and got married in SA six months later. We moved to Iceland (where I'm from) straight after and have been together for 9 years now, and are as happy as ever. It's very true that home is where the heart is.

It's very rewarding indeed to be with someone from another culture because it enriches your life in so many ways and makes discovering the world together a two-dimensional experience because sometimes we interpret things differently and it makes for long happy conversations.

My boyfriend and I met 8 years ago in a hostel in Mexico. After spending a week together it was time to separate. Luckily we were both going home within a couple of weeks of each other. However I was going back to university in Aberdeen, Scotland and he was going to live in London, 500 miles apart. We did the long distance thing for 2 years and I moved to London so we were closer. Three years ago we sold everything we owned, quit our jobs and went travelling in Southeast Asia. We are now both diving instructors and have been living on a paradise island in indonesia for two years now.

Moral of the story, travel romance can work. It just takes good communication and faith that you want it to work.

Oh Kathi, what a cute text. When you wrote about "The story of an unfulfilled dream" my heart just melted. I really could connect with your story. A few months ago I was in Australia and met a Canadian on a Sailing Trip around the Whitsunday Islands. And, well, he and his friend changed his route to kinda travel with me. First it was just flirting around but in Cairns, we went out and the rest is history ... ;) But shortly after he went to New Zealand and I kept on travelling through Australia. We haven't kept in touch that much but still see eachother on Instagram and stuff like that. First I was really sad that it ended before anything could really happen but now I smile remembering those memories. I still hope to met him again, one day or another.<3

Traveling with a broken heart was completely different for me! I was coping with losing two of my family members unexpectedly and all the time spent alone really got to me at first. Meeting other travelers that shared similar stories definitely helped me turn my anxiety into passion for life, and I'll always have a special place in my heart for those healing weeks of travel! Thanks for sharing.

I met this Mexican guy last December and well I ignored my feelings at first. Saw him again in February and we're together since then. Of course I had other plans. I was supposed to leave Mexico southbound. Meeting my family and friends in Costa Rica in August and September. All planned. I worked out a plan how long I would need for the whole Central America thing. I figured four months is ok. I left for Guatemala and felt horrible. We skyped several times a day and I just wanted to cry my eyes out. I couldn't enjoy anything. I booked a flight from Guatemala back to Mexico after three weeks apart. And split my trip in two parts. Obviously I had to be in Costa Rica in August and September. So now I'm at the end of my time in Costa Rica (8 weeks away from him in total). It was hard, really really hard. I'm happy I didn't do the four months and that I followed my heart. We still skyped several times a day almost every day. Might seem weird to some people, but I just needed to see him to be able to enjoy this trip. It was better than Guatemala but still a hard time for me. Now I will be back in Mexico on Monday. Wish me luck that we'll be happily ever after ;)

I met a long-haired Scottish hippie while on holiday in Mexico for NYE 2008. We had a 3 day doing before he went back to Scotland and I to Canada. Before he left, he asked me for my email address. Reluctantly, I gave it to him, thinking there was no point because, based on previous experiences, he wouldn't email me. But less than a week later, he did. And so began a long distance relationship that became marriage. That was 7 years ago and now we own a home in a small village in Scotland, and have been married for 4 years.

"Ticking all the boxes" - I think that phrase will stick with me for a while. Especially the timing thing is so hard to accept once you get the feeling that everything else would be perfect. Thanks for sharing!xx Sabine

I think every age group has it's own dealings while traveling solo. For me, being over 54 it is different than for you being much younger. A broken heart on the road might even be easier since there is a lot of distraction. But you are right when you say that loneliness can hit hard when traveling solo. Specially when you long for e partner (that is gone).

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