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The View From Two: Dateline March 23, 2016

Well, it’s been a while since we’ve had a little chat, really a bit too long. These days I hold forth from my office here at The Knave, right under the TV on Seat #2. They make a mean Singapore Sling in this place (extra fruit!) and I love watching Australian Rules Football and nonstop reruns of “Le Cage…”

I’ve been on a whirlwind tour promoting my new audio book Rakin’ Muck and getting my “passport stamped” from here to Honeypot Village, most recently by the batista with the red goatee who works the cafe at Whole Hog....talk about steamed milk!!!

Over on Bradshaw’s Pike, word is the old Bargain Lube auto shop that closed last year will reopen as a “slick” Rough Trade fun spot called Toss My Salad. Running the show will be none other than Nailyard legend, Randy Castro, who commands a large (whimpering) following throughout the county. Wonder what’s “Coming Soon” …Randy or the club?

In old downtown…

Hope’s delinquent offspring, Daisy Faydz, is back on the scene, having finally graduated from Beseech Academy with a degree in Demographic Snobbery. Her next move? She bought the old Bohunk’s space on Main (without mom’s help) and will convert it to into a seriously effete heath food emporium. Tentative name: Bean of the Day, billed as a “self conscious grocery.”

Hoping a milkgrass smoothie will help this hangover!

And speaking of hangovers, if you can afford it, why not check out the new theme night at Blackwater’s up on Kingman’s Slope. Titled “Trust Fun,” owners Shawn and Paddy promise a chance to Get Your Affluenza On! with $45 drinks all night, long lines, racial quotas, legal advice and more. Take that, you 99%ers!

In the Graphite Cornerz News Dept…

Over Brackwater way, our little prison is becoming quite the commercial hub. We’ve got the new home of Check ‘N Pay, a second Sav-A-Bit Markit, Yee’s II Home Salvage and Nick Carz’s Kinda Dog restaurant (right) which is less “dog” than “dig” (as in, dig out your wallet), all within shouting distance of “The Old Grey Lady’s” looming walls. Makes you want to break out just to go shopping!

That Uzbek Feeling….

They’ll be plenty of fun for all over at the Uzbek Social Club all weekend…..call it a dung deal as the revamped New Uzbek Minstrels bring their high energy All-Carpenters cover show to town. Come for the headgear, the twirling, and all the shosteg vromzeik you can gag down.

Gotta run, folks, my new Shitfit watch is telling me it’s getting to be that time…