Whether your SIL realizes it or not, those little mumbles inside her head show a distinct judgmental attitude on her part. I don't really give her all that many points for staying silent. I think it's the least she could have done.

Why does she have to say that to herself at all? Can't she just say thank you?

Not everyone who has gained weight since high school is a sloth who doesn't exercise and eats butter every day.

Whether your SIL realizes it or not, those little mumbles inside her head show a distinct judgmental attitude on her part. I don't really give her all that many points for staying silent. I think it's the least she could have done.

Why does she have to say that to herself at all? Can't she just say thank you?

Not everyone who has gained weight since high school is a sloth who doesn't exercise and eats butter every day.

I agree. Why was she so upset? Would a "Thanks, I try to work out." been so awful?

Whether your SIL realizes it or not, those little mumbles inside her head show a distinct judgmental attitude on her part. I don't really give her all that many points for staying silent. I think it's the least she could have done.

Why does she have to say that to herself at all? Can't she just say thank you?

Not everyone who has gained weight since high school is a sloth who doesn't exercise and eats butter every day.

POD.

They were trying to compliment her. I agree calling it "lucky" when it is the result of hard work is not good at all, but that doesn't mean she has a right to judge either.

Logged

'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air. Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

Whether your SIL realizes it or not, those little mumbles inside her head show a distinct judgmental attitude on her part. I don't really give her all that many points for staying silent. I think it's the least she could have done.

Why does she have to say that to herself at all? Can't she just say thank you?

Not everyone who has gained weight since high school is a sloth who doesn't exercise and eats butter every day.

I think you are taking a mental comment by the SIL that was directed inwards and twisting it to hurt your feelings. This wasn't about anybody else. The SIL keeps herself thin by excerising every day and watching her diet closely. Other people are ascribing her body shape to luck. She knows it was/is hard work to keep at weight/level of health that makes her happy. She never said anything about what steps other people need to take.

edit to say IF her mental comment was "Maybe if you exercised every day and never ate butter you could be so lucky, that would be judgemental (though we aren't the thought police so it's hard to prosecute for thoughts)

Whether your SIL realizes it or not, those little mumbles inside her head show a distinct judgmental attitude on her part. I don't really give her all that many points for staying silent. I think it's the least she could have done.

Why does she have to say that to herself at all? Can't she just say thank you?

Not everyone who has gained weight since high school is a sloth who doesn't exercise and eats butter every day.

I think you are taking a mental comment by the SIL that was directed inwards and twisting it to hurt your feelings. This wasn't about anybody else. The SIL keeps herself thin by excerising every day and watching her diet closely. Other people are ascribing her body shape to luck. She knows it was/is hard work to keep at weight/level of health that makes her happy. She never said anything about what steps other people need to take.

I think the question is why the sister felt she had two choices: be silent or be rude. She could have politely told people she works out a lot. She could have just said "Thank you." Her internal dialogue sounds resentful and annoyed.

She said she had to stop herself from being rude all night. Why is that?

Maybe it's just the wording in the OP. Or maybe I'm taking it wrong. But the impression I got from the OP is that the SIL was mentally comparing herself and her habits to those she suspected in those who complimented her. Sort of like, if you exercised every day and gave up butter, you'd be thin too.

She said she had to stop herself from being rude all night. Why is that?

Maybe it's just the wording in the OP. Or maybe I'm taking it wrong. But the impression I got from the OP is that the SIL was mentally comparing herself and her habits to those she suspected in those who complimented her. Sort of like, if you exercised every day and gave up butter, you'd be thin too.

Right, which is sadly not true. There are plenty of people who work out and eat well and still can't be as thin as they were in high school.

Maybe we just took different interpretations to the information given to us. I read the "oh you're so lucky to have remained thin" comment as being done in a sarcastic manner as any time I have received such a comment it has been done with snarky undertones. Nevermind how I got that way, or that I lost a lot of weight due to a long-term illness.

The whole 'lucky' bit kinda dismisses all the effort the friend goes to to remain healthy.

She said she had to stop herself from being rude all night. Why is that?

Maybe it's just the wording in the OP. Or maybe I'm taking it wrong. But the impression I got from the OP is that the SIL was mentally comparing herself and her habits to those she suspected in those who complimented her. Sort of like, if you exercised every day and gave up butter, you'd be thin too.

Right, which is sadly not true. There are plenty of people who work out and eat well and still can't be as thin as they were in high school.

And there are others that can eat a stick of butter weekly and not gain a pound. But obviously that is not the case of the SIL. And she wasn't the one making comments and assumptions about other people's habits. I think it's interesting the comments here are focused on judging her, instead of pointing out that it is terribly rude to talk about someone else's body.