Another detective, a woman this time, sits with Mortimer in her office.

“He was an idiot,” explains our villain.

“Off the record, I entirely agree with you on that. That flat-nosed buffoon has asked me out four times, and I’ve told him no four times. His face looks like a nuclear testing site in New Mexico. Does he seriously think he’s in my league?”

Mortimer, having not considered this woman’s looks yet, examines what he can from the other side of the desk.. Good material for the Last Kale City police calendar. She might even deserve June or July. “Perhaps he is closer to your league than you’d like to admit.”

“Excuse me? He’s got the figure of an eggplant.”

Creative with insults: a must-have for any arch enemy of his. “Your good looks can only carry you so far. You’re older than you appear, you’re recently divorced, and you have at least two children. All these things narrow your options. You’ve also replaced your husband with your job, and you suffer from insomnia. You might not get any offers better than Mr. Brick’s.”

“How do you know all that?”

“You’re a detective. Surely you know about deductive reasoning.”

“This is off topic.” The woman, unsettled, attempts to steer the conversation back to familiar territory. “I hear you have a missing persons report to file.”

Another potential nemesis denied. “Next!”

This is part 15 of Vile, a novel in progress. Care to see the first part?