Mabel Blaster: Now, Jeremy, you are known as the moving force behind the classic futuristic science-fiction movie “Soylent Green”, in which people are given a mysterious food substance by the government.

Jeremy Hoffman: Yes, I’m very proud of “Soylent Green”, which starred Charlton Heston. In fact, I brought a clip of the dramatic conclusion.

Mabel Blaster: Boy, it just gives you a chill to realize that Soylent Green is made of people, doesn’t it?

Jeremy Hoffman: It does.

Mabel Blaster: Now, a couple of years later, you made a sequel to “Soylent Green”?

Jeremy Hoffman: Yes. Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite as successful. That one was called “Soylent White”.

Mabel Blaster: Oh. I understand we also have a clip from that film..

[ clip opens on two Executives typing, with huge stacks of typing paper behind them ]

Executive #1: You know, even in our modern and futuristic world, I’m surprised at how much paperwork there is.

Executive #2: Hmm.. me, too.. But at least we have a cheap and virtually inexhaustible supply of typing paper, now that it’s made out of Soylent White.

Executive #1: Do you ever wonder what’s in Soylent White?

Executive #2: No.

Executive #1: Me, neither.

Charlton Heston: Soylent White is made out of people! It’s made out of people!

[ all of three of them scream in horror ] [ back to the talk show set ]

Mabel Blaster: Well, that gave me a chill, too, but not quite as much.

Jeremy Hoffman: Well, I’d like to point out that “Soylent White” was not pure fantasy. We did talk to a scientist who told us that if you use the right bleach and enough wood pulp, you actually could make a kind of paper out of people.

Mabel Blaster: Oh.. Well, after “Soylent White”, you made “Soylent Teal”, in which people turned into popular colors of indoor house paints.

Jeremy Hoffman: Yeah, we did.

Mabel Blaster: And that was followed by a sequel that lost even more money?

Jeremy Hoffman: That would be “Soylent Cow Pies”. I guess you could say that one was a flop.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn View all posts by Don Roy King