A Masterpiece Of Cinema (with Keen Dating Tips) For Your Valentine`s Day Reflecting

February 14, 1986|By Tom Popson.

Whose of you with cable TV will want to get home early Friday night in order to catch a major television event. We are talking about the showing--in its entirety--of the 1950s Coronet Instructional Film ``Dating Do`s and Don`ts.``

Yes, portions of this classic have been shown before on the USA Network`s ``Night Flight`` program, but this Friday ``Night Flight`` will show this work uncut and unedited as part of a one-hour Valentine`s Day segment beginning at 10 p.m.

Having seen an advance copy of the program, we can assure you that, viewed in its entirety, ``Dating Do`s and Don`ts`` is both a stunning example of film craft and an excellent home-room instructional tool.

The movie, as most film buffs know, opens with a deceptively simple shot of young Woody, the film`s central character, looking at a piece of mail as he sits on the hall staircase in his home. The piece of mail is a letter from Woody`s friend, George, who writes that he has broken his ankle and can no longer use his ticket for two to the Central High Hi-Teen Carnival. George has sent the ticket to Woody.

This presents Woody, who is not exactly a Don Juan sort, with a problem. Now that he has a ticket, whom will Woody invite to the carnival? The perplexed lad ponders a while, and then a voice-over narrator advises him that he should date someone who will make him feel appreciated, not someone who will make him feel inferior and awkward.

Why, of course, that`s it. Woody will ask Anne, who he knows will make him feel appreciated. Anne is now introduced to the viewer through the device of a dream sequence showing Woody and an appreciative, if somewhat gluttonous, Anne happily gobbling cotton candy at the upcoming carnival.

But how will Woody, not very practiced in these matters, go about asking Anne to the carnival? Enter Ed, Woody`s older brother, who saunters coolly into the hallway of their home wearing a leather jacket and the air of someone who has broken a thousand hearts. Ed glides past Woody and, reaching for the hall phone, dials a number.

Well, what do you know, Ed is calling a girl for a date. Woody`s face shines with admiration as he watches Ed operate. In the time it takes to say, ``Way to go, Lothario,`` Ed has Saturday night locked up.

Emboldened, Woody decides to call Anne. Now, in one of the film`s pioneering uses of alternate realities (see William Kretchmar`s masterful treatise ``Woody: Nerd in Three Planes``), ``Dating Do`s`` presents a sequence of three possible approaches Woody can use to ask for a date:

Approach No. 1

Woody: ``Anne, how about a date?``

Anne: ``No thanks!``

Approach No. 2

Woody: ``Whatcha doin` Saturday night?``

Anne: ``Well, I guess I`m busy.``

Woody: ``Oh, yeah? Any chance of giving him the brushoff for me?``

Anne: ``Well, of all the nerve!``

Approach No. 3

Woody: ``Hi, Anne. This is Woody. I have a ticket for the Hi-Teen Carnival Saturday. Would you like to go?``

Anne: ``I`ll have to talk to my folks about it, but I think I can go. That`ll be fun!``

Film lore, of course, says that at this point a portion of ``Dating Do`s`` was edited out that showed Anne bounding upstairs to run a quick check on Woody`s credit references and bank deposits. While the missing footage has never been found, this theory is bolstered by a later scene in which Anne`s younger sister joins Anne upstairs and opines that the upcoming date ``doesn`t sound like much`` compared to dinner at a fancy restaurant.

It is true that Anne responds, ``I think the important thing about a date is to have a good time, and you don`t need to spend a lot of money to do that.`` But many maintain this is simply an ironic negative image of Anne that loses its effect without the missing footage (see Philip Edwards` ``Anne: Gold Digger or What?``).

We will not spoil this film for you by discussing the subsequent carnival scenes or the film`s powerful ending. But we know you will gasp when the couple reach Anne`s doorstep at the end of their date. In another riveting display of alternate realities, Woody illustrates various ways to bring a date to a close. In one, he lunges wildly for Anne. In another, he walks Anne to the door, says, ``Well, so long,`` then spins on his heel and departs. The psychological battering Anne takes in this sequence is some of the most devastating ever recorded on film (see ``Men: A Real Bunch of Garbage,`` by Anne Winton).

Film note: In addition to ``Dating Do`s and Don`ts,`` Friday`s ``Night Flight`` segment also will show ``What to Do on a Date,`` the 1951 Coronet Instructional Film praised for its performances by Jeff and Kay and Nick, and love-and-date-related videos by Olivia Newton-John, Duran Duran and others.