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Gia Paloma’s fan letter

Last week I went to the launch party for Julie Simone’s Hollywood-gone-right casting couch movie Audition. The event was at Bar 107 downtown, and in attendance were the director and her star, Gia Paloma.

Just a day before Van Damage had told me that Paloma, not of her own accord, had almost bit his dick off. I forgot to ask her about this because I’m drinking again.

Watching porn in a bar is becoming something I’m used to. If you would have told me as a boy growing up by the banks of Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg that one day I’d be drinking Jagermeister in downtown L.A. watching Gia Paloma get beat up with the sound turned down I’d have said, “Jagermeister?”

The movie looked good. It is amazing how much context you can get out of a porn movie by watching it several times on end, muted, in a bar. Apparently Paloma, a struggling Hollywood actress, answers an ad and goes to a place run by people not interested in her well-being and they fuck her. I don’t know if she gets the part or not.

I found this movie quaint and Paloma’s breasts large. It was quaint because getting fucked in Hollywood is the least of your problems.

Anyway, there were posters available and they were not characteristic of porn posters in general. The spelling was correct and there was no gaping. Since the director and star were there, I thought I’d get one autographed.

I think there is about a 98 percent chance that Paloma writes this to everyone, especially people named Graham. But just in case, from now on I am going to think of Gia Paloma every time I’m cavorting with “Valley Girl” era E.G. Daily, “Dangerous Liaisons” era Uma Thurman, and any era Carla Gugino while drowning.