This is a copy of a letter taken from another instructor and adapted for Bridgeville Kenpo. I thought this was an excellent subject for all of us instructors and parents.

I WANT TO QUIT!!!

Dear Parents: How many times have you heard your child say "Mom & Dad I Want to QUIT?" This can happen whether it's baseball, soccer, football, cheer-leading, dance, and yes even Martial Arts! As parents, we try to get our children involved and exposed to as many activities as possible. It's good to have our children involved in traditional activities; it teaches team spirit and helps them to have some form of a release in otherwise pent up energy. In some sports your child will excel better than others, and in some sports your child will flat out want to quit. At Park's Martial Arts, we hear so many parents who tell us that "my child tried this and that sport and always winds up quitting!" Even in Martial Arts, when your child reaches a certain belt level, they may go through the same scenario of wanting to quit.

Here's the dilemma that Parents go through...

1. "I don't want to force my child to do something they don't want to do."

2. "I don't feel like arguing with them."

3. "I remember when I was a kid and my parents made me stick to it." (Which isn't a bad idea at all!)

The problem is not your child wanting to quit something, it's us as parents allowing or teaching our child to quit. I know we don't do it purposely. Sometimes it's easier just to give in to our child when they are arguing or screaming and crying about quitting something or not getting their way. When they are at that state there is no reasoning or perfectly logical answer that will inspire them. Sometimes talking with them and trying to reason with them or even to explain the logic about quitting does not work. After all, they are your pride and joy, and how can you say no when they look into your eyes with that puppy dog look. I'm sure it makes you feel terrible and makes you want to give in.

Parents, you have to understand that your children know you better than you know yourself at times. They are very smart and know already what buttons to push when it comes to getting what they want. As kids we did the same to our parents, we were master manipulators too. At the age your child is at they do not understand the true value of what affect it will have on them when they learn to "QUIT" something. It will have a domino effect later in their personal life.

For example:

1. Among their peers if they feel they are not winning a game, they simply just give up.2. The moment they feel a challenge coming on or experience hard work, they quit.3. Statistics show that more than 70% of students quit college way before graduating.

There is a major psychological impact when a child learns that they can quit anything at any time. This behavior will follow them through the critical years that really form your child's developing mind.

I remember my parents telling us that school & education was the most important thing. They said without proper education you will not be successful when you're an adult. Many parents use Martial Arts as a vehicle to keep kids on track. Of course at times they want to quit and say it wasn't fun anymore. Or at one point they would tell their parents they didn't like it! I can honestly tell you, that It is quite obvious to everyone that I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for Martial Arts, for many reasons.

Kids do not know the value of hard work or understand the importance of perseverance yet; it's our job as Martial Arts Instructors and as parents to teach them. We are here to help and assist your child in learning the proper life skills. We understand it can be difficult at times but hang in there DO NOT GIVE UP! Speak to us and let us know exactly what's going on in your child's mind and we will do our best to help. Our Instructors are professional Black Belt Instructors and we have dealt with many situations where a child wants to quit. It's just a matter of reconnecting with them with some inspiration and motivation.

Through the years we have found that when the parents would not let their children give up or quit and had them persevere and hang in there no matter what, they had become some of the best Jr. and Adult Black Belts we have ever had.

Once again, thank you for supporting our Martial Arts school and please speak to us if this relates to your situation.