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They Said It: SEC Media Days memorable quotes from years past

Congratulations to former Missouri wide receiver T.J. Moe, winner of the "Robbie Caldwell Award" as the breakout quote star from the 2012 SEC Media Days. Who will appear in the lead photo in this space next year? This year's SEC Media Days spectacle begins Tuesday.

BIRMINGHAM, Alabama -- There used to be a time when SEC Media Days was a quaint affair. Today, college football's scaled-down version of Super Bowl Media Day is a Deep South spectacle, now a national event where football and absurdity meet and absurdity usually prevails. There's no telling what you might see or hear this week. Before coaches and players take the microphone, take a rewind with our annual SEC Media Days "They Said It" list from the past 12 years at The Wynfrey Hotel in Hoover.

"They've also got prettier girls, the air's fresher and the toilet paper's thicker." -- Missouri wide receiver T.J. Moe in 2012 on the SEC compared to the Big 12.

"Well, certainly! Do I look stupid? Don't answer that question!" -- Arkansas interim coach John L. Smith in 2012 when asked if he wants to remain coach for more than one year. Smith was one-and-done after a 4-8 season.

"Everybody talks to me and acts like I didn't know what I was getting into when I took the job." -- Texas A&M coach Kevin Sumlin in 2012 about critics who questioned how the Aggies would fare in the SEC. Texas A&M went 11-2 overall and defeated eventual national champion Alabama behind a Heisman Trophy quarterback.

"It's been a tough four years at Tennessee and I know the SEC has enjoyed taking advantage of our tough times. But you're not going to have Tennessee to kick around anymore."-- Tennessee coach Derek Dooley in 2012. The Vols went 1-7 in the SEC, including a 41-18 loss to Vanderbilt, and Dooley was fired.

"I'm sure he would, maybe if he could do it over again, he would have followed up a few things. But don't take away all this guy did, and to sit there and blame him for all this, I think is wrong." -- Missouri coach Gary Pinkel in a rare defense of Joe Paterno in 2012 one week after the Freeh Report criticized Paterno for his role in the Jerry Sandusky child sex-abuse scandal. A Missouri state representative called Pinkel's defense of Paterno indefensible.

"But you know, there are other coaches in the league, like Steve Spurrier, that are older than me, that I look up to, that are my mentors, that I really learn a lot from, that I really want to try to be like. In fact, I was even going to consider wearing a visor on the sidelines this year. I was afraid I'd throw it." -- Alabama coach Nick Saban in 2012, three months after Spurrier said Saban needs to win elsewhere besides Alabama to become one of the greatest college football coaches.

Nick Saban gets swarmed by fans wanting autographs last year in Hoover.

"Told my wife as I was leaving, 'You know what, I've been to this thing 20 years now.' But you guys have been here 30, 40 years, some of you. They don't fire media people, we found that out." -- South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier in 2012, amid an environment filled with media layoffs. The remark drew audible groans from media members.

"If I made the schedule, Georgia would be playing LSU and we'd be playing Ole Miss." -- South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier in 2012, continuing his complaints about SEC scheduling. Replied Ole Miss coach Hugh Freeze: "We'll circle that date (in 2013) and look forward to maybe changing his perspective on Ole Miss football."

Eric Blackerby, the Alabama fan who was criticized by Nick Saban in 2011 for wearing this T-shirt, makes the latest list of memorable SEC Media Days quotes.

"It's like I went to church and God told me He didn't approve." -- Alabama fan Eric Blackerby, wearing an "I Hate Auburn" T-shirt in 2011, when told Nick Saban said that's not how Crimson Tide fans should treat opponents. The T-shirt episode came not long after Harvey Updyke poisoned Auburn's trees. Blackerby later apologized to Saban, who once screamed at his players during the Iron Bowl, "Don't you know how much I hate these guys?" Saban's response to Blackerby: "All right."

"I'll make this real clear. The NCAA, on more than one occasion, has said that Auburn has done nothing wrong in the recruitment of Cam Newton. Nothing's changed." -- Auburn coach Gene Chizik in 2011 when told that Danny Sheridan commented on Paul Finebaum's radio show that his NCAA sources thought they found a "third-party bagman" who helped recruit Newton to Auburn. Nine of the media's 22 questions to Chizik in the main interview room were about the investigation by the NCAA, which later cleared Auburn.

"You're only a sophomore. Have you started shaving yet?" -- Ziven Fowler, a 10-year-old boy handling some interviews for Birmingham's ABC 33/40 in 2011, to Auburn defensive lineman Nose Eguae.

"I could get to 16 (teams) in 15 minutes." -- SEC Commissioner Mike Slive in 2011 amid rumors of Big 12 dissatisfaction. Slive needed another three months to officially get to 14 teams.

How much of a show is SEC Media Days? Robbie Caldwell, a one-year Vanderbilt interim coach, bizarrely received applause from some media members when his entertaining news conference ended in 2010.

"If I told some of these ladies what they put in that lipstick right there, oh, my goodness, because I de-beaked, blood tested, vaccinated (turkeys). I done it all. It was pretty special." -- Vanderbilt coach Robbie Caldwell in 2010 on his first paying job being on the inseminating crew at a turkey farm. Caldwell's only stint in Hoover was so unusual that we created the first -- and so far only -- He Said It.

"I don't think it's anything but greed that is creating it right now on behalf of the agents. I hate to say this, but how are they any better than a pimp? I have no respect for people who do that to young people. None. How would you feel if they did it to your child?" -- Alabama coach Nick Saban in 2010 on a rash of agent-related NCAA violations in college football, including Crimson Tide star Marcell Dareus.

"Do I love every single thing I did? No, but it needed to get done to get where we need to be." -- Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin in 2009 on his controversial remarks that helped him get reprimanded by the SEC before coaching a game. Kiffin departed for USC after one year, leaving behind some NCAA violations for Tennessee to clean up.

"I apologize to Tim Tebow. We screwed it up pretty badly." -- South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier in 2009 on his director of football operations "mistakenly" putting Ole Miss' Jevan Snead as the preseason All-SEC quarterback over Tebow. The coaches' preseason All-SEC team is no longer released during media days.

Tim Tebow laughed at the stunned reaction to answering a question about virginity in 2009.

"I think ya'll are stunned right now. Ya'll can't even ask a question." -- Florida quarterback Tim Tebow confirming in 2009 that he's a virgin after being asked by a media member.

"All I Want 4 My Birthday is to Meet Tim Tebow." -- A sign held by Emma King, a 7-year-old Hoover girl, in The Wynfrey lobby in 2008. Tebow didn't stop for anyone when he arrived, causing Emma to sob uncontrollably in her mother's arms. When Tebow learned what happened, he summoned the girl and her family to a private meeting for some photos and autographs.

"I turn around and Matthew Stafford punches me in the face, telling me you don't hit women. Then the guy who transferred to Delta State, (former Georgia quarterback) Blake Barnes, jumps in. It was crazy. I texted (Stafford), 'I'm dreaming about you.' I haven't heard back." -- Kentucky wide receiver Dicky Lyons, sharing in 2008 a nightmare he had involving his fiancee and Georgia star quarterback Matthew Stafford in a bar.

"These are great fans that have great passion about the Southeastern Conference that are not interested in that kind of BS." -- Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer when he got served in 2008 with a subpoena to testify about a lawsuit brought by a former Alabama booster against the NCAA.

"I'm not going to the club as much. I'm not going to go out and get hammered so much. So he won't go out. If he can see, 'OK, there's better things to do than just go out and get drunk and go to the club. ... You can go to the club, you don't have to be drunk in the club. That's a thing I've learned from being at Auburn so long and coming up under great guys like Reggie Torbor and Jason Campbell." -- Auburn defensive end Quentin Groves in 2007 on mentoring teammate Tray Blackmon, who was arrested the previous year for public drunkenness and underage drinking.

"Appreciate the target you put on my back. Last time you did that, you almost got me fired." -- Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville in 2006 on the media making the Tigers the overwhelming favorite to win the SEC. They finished second in the West. Tuberville, who barely survived front-runner status in 2003, was forced out in 2008.

"I learned it doesn't pay to make cute remarks." -- South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier, declaring in 2005 he had toned down his act upon returning to the SEC.

This is how the media in 2004 interviewed Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer, who avoided Hoover to avoid being served a subpoena over his role in the NCAA's investigation of Alabama.

"You can talk about my coaching if we lose. You can talk about my play-calling in games. You might talk about my physique if you chose to stoop that low, but 'coward' is way over the line. The same people that used the space to call me a coward have used that same space to talk about cleaning up the SEC from cheating." -- Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer when he skipped media days in 2004 to avoid being served a subpoena over his role in the NCAA's investigation of Alabama.

"My appreciation for Lizzy is she's the true unconditional love of my life. She's the only fan I know who treats me exactly the same whether we win or lose." -- LSU coach Nick Saban in 2004 after his dog wandered around the interview rooms. The dog had been in Saban's hotel room, bolted when housekeeping arrived, and made her way onto the elevator. Some quick-thinking reporters jotted down Saban's home phone number off Lizzy's collar.

"Those of you who think he will not win in the NFL, you're going to look bad. He will win in the NFL." -- South Carolina coach Lou Holtz in 2002 on Steve Spurrier, who promptly went 12-20 in two years with the Washington Redskins. That's slightly better than Holtz's 3-10 NFL record.

"I know the old guy is gone but I can't tell you who the new coach is. I don't watch television. All they talk about is bad things on television.'" -- Arkansas defensive tackle Jermaine Brooks in 2002 on Ron Zook replacing Steve Spurrier at Florida. Brooks was kicked off the team a couple months later after police seized 10 pounds of marijuana, $16,000 in cash, three rifles and three handguns at his home.

Actor Steve Martin and former Vanderbilt coach Bobby Johnson: Separated at birth in the eyes of some Japanese tourists visiting San Francisco.

"They thought I was Steve Martin. They all jumped out, wanted me to sign (autographs). And they all said, 'Hollywood! Hollywood!' So, I jumped out and had my picture made with them and signed a few 'Steve Martins.'" --Vanderbilt coach Bobby Johnson in 2002 on being mistaken for the actor by Japanese tourists riding a bus in San Francisco.

"If you're going to boo, boo at the television set. Don't boo at the field. When we hear the boos, we get down. When 30,000 are cheering and 50,000 are booing, the boos win out.'" -- Alabama linebacker Victor Ellis, requesting in 2001 that fans lighten up after the Tide's 3-8 season.

"Jon Hoke's going into his third year. I think he's learned a lot. I hope he's going to be smarter." -- Florida coach Steve Spurrier in 2001 on his defensive coordinator, whose unit ranked eighth in the SEC the previous year. Hoke wised up and the Gators' defense led the SEC in 2001.

"If I'd known I was going to spend our wedding anniversary at SEC Media Days, our marriage probably wouldn't have lasted this long."-- Peggy Sherrill, wife of Mississippi State coach Jackie Sherrill, as told by her husband in 2001, the first year this annual spectacle arrived in Hoover from Birmingham.