Archive for the ‘My LIfe’ Category

I pride myself on being an individual as I go through life, foregoing trends, dodging the “norm”, and I try to avoid being what society says I am, or should be. My personal style, the way I speak, and even some of the music I listen to are all atypical of the demographic I fall into. This fact has been the reason for the position I took on a heated debate that was popular in the hip hop culture a few years back. It seemed to me that everybody and their mothers were busy stiff-arming, throwing elbows and gouging eyes out to get a spot on the ever so crowded Jay-Z bandwagon. Me, not so much. I was pumping my fist hard for my boy Esco. From Illmatic, to Nastradamus, to Untitled, I was on my own wagon with elbow room for days. Then the beef started. “Takeover” and “Ether”were the most popular dis tracks in the aforementioned feud between Nas and Jay-Z back in the ealry parts of the decade, and although only one verse in “Takeover”was directed at Nas, it was undoubtedly impressive. Hov bringing to the light Nas’s subpar releases since Illmatic put him on the map, as well as pointing out Mr. Jones’s attempt at intellectual rhymes. On “Ether”, Nas retorted, putting on blast the fact that S. Carter made a habit of using Biggie’s lines and also recycled an album name that had previously been pressed up. He also turned the tables on Jay-Z’s disdain for Queens rappers evidencing that Rockafella Records is run by a Queens native in the form of one Russell Simmons. There is no doubt in my mind that Ether decided the fate of Jay-Z in this epic hip-hop, heavyweight battle, giving the unanimous decision to the “QB true G”.

Throughout the entire beef and even through the “best rapper alive” debates, I stuck with my favorite, Nas. I never relented and always had a reason why I think Mr. Jones was “the best”, as evidenced in this previous post. Now, I don’t take back anything I said about Nas, and the assertions I put forth will always stand, but I must enjoy this big plate of crow sitting in front of me and state that Jay-Z is, indeed, the……..dare I say it? The Best Rapper Alive!!! I came to this realization this morning as I listened to the Black Album while cleaning my place up. Every single track had me nodding my head and “rapping” along with the lyrics, as weird as that may sound. At one point, I had to stop and say, “Daaammmnnnn, that boy good.” I can now honestly admit that none of Jay’s albums were disappointments. My all-time favorite of course was the first, Reasonable Doubt. 22 Two’s is probably one of the most creative songs I’ve ever heard. Brooklyn’s Finest definitely stands up to the name of the track with the greatest and the third greatest rapper from the East Coast displaying their skills on wax. Nas still holds the spot as my favorite rapper of all-time, but he now comes in an extremely close second on my “Best Rapper Alive list.”

The Movie should have ben called, "The Do's and Don'ts of Weaves & Fake Hair....and that Hair Show in Atlanta too.

This weekend I chose to spend my Saturday evening in the movie theater, giving up my $10.50 to see Chris Rock’s latest piece of work, Good Hair. Now, in promoting the documentary over several media outlets, Mr. Rock claimed that his daughter was the inspiration for the film, giving an anecdote that went something like this…. He was driving his daughter, Lola, and her white classmate home from school and Lola asked him, “How come I don’t have good hair like her?”

From his explanation, I expected the movie to delve into the debate of “Good Hair” versus “Bad Hair”, or try to figure out whether either really exists, mixed with a fair amount of the Chris Rock comedy we’ve all come to know. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. Out of the entire hour and thirty-five minute movie, I’ll be generous and say that a total of about 5 minutes of the movie pertained to the former and most of the rest of the film was humorous and a bit condescending. There wasn’t a single five minute block of hard core discussion on the good hair vs. bad hair debate, but bits and pieces that very briefly covered the subject were sprinkled throughout the movie. Here’s a short list; there was a group of young black females, of different hair types, who talked about what they thought about natural hair. One girl said, “Natural hair and a suit don’t match.” There was a woman who suffered from Alopecia, a condition that causes one to loose all the hair on their body, similar to the effects of chemotherapy, who spoke about refusing to wear a wig, because she would feel like she was hiding something. There was also a quick sound bite that was spoken. “I am not my hair”. This line was the title of an India.Arie song back in 2006, which sparked conversation when it came out. By the way, WTF (the previous “W” stands for WHERE, in this case, not WHAT. Go back and insert it.) was India.Arie? Alright, maybe it would have been a little cliche, but with songs like “I am not my hair” and “Video” I think she could have done a little to help settle the uncertain mind of little Lola Rock, not to mention the countless amount of other young black girls with the same query.

While watching the movie I was a baffled at times when it got a little condescending. While in one woman’s salon Chris spoke to the owner about the price of weaves and wigs and she revealed that one wig could cost over $3000. In another part of the film Chris spoke to a man who bought hair directly from India and sold it to vendors. This prissy mofo, with shoulder length, straightened hair, had the nerve to laugh as he said, “they won’t pay their rent to get some of this hair.” A large part of the movie also covered the $9 Billion Black Hair Industry, and it seemed to me that Chris Rock was pointing out the frivolous spending of black Americans, while sitting on his high horse with his nose pointed to the sky.

I felt the movie went on a tangent and spent a lot of time out in left field as it followed four contestants in a hair show that was held in Atlanta. It focused on what kind of boots one of the flamboyant participants was going to wear to the show, the notion that a white man was actually good at styling black women’s’ hair, and an older, borderline psychotic, contestants underwater/bar skit. WTF does all of this have to do with “Good Hair”?

Also, most of the star power in the movie were women with weaves, or women who wore wigs, who didn’t really talk in depth about Good Hair vs. Bad Hair. What they did talk about was how much they paid for their hair, how particular they are with what kind of hair they will wear, and how their husband/boyfriend was not allowed to touch their hair, at all. There were a few women with natural hairstyles in the movie, but I think they could have been represented more and a whole lot better, because they do exist.

The name of a movie means a lot. The way this movie was promoted combined with the name led a lot of people to believe that it would be something different. I think Chris Rock could have done a lot more with what he had, and could have afforded to leave a lot of what made it to the big screen, out. With his daughter’s common inquiry, a 3 year old in the movie saying that “you’re supposed to get a perm…” , and another black girl inferring that natural hairstyles and success don’t match, he could have went in a totally different, more positive and socially conscious direction. But, in the end, positive, socially conscious, movies haven’t been known to be hits at the box office, or at the bank.

First official iPhone blog. You should really be excited right now!!!!! Just wanna post this Restaurant sign Fail. No big deal. Just me being the over-attentive critic that I am. I wonder if they serve breakfast too.

Just finished watching a story on CNN where a group of Black kids, in Philadelphia were refused entrance to a predominantly White swim club. The story goes as such….. Creative Steps Day Camp was on their way to The Valley Club to enjoy a day of aquatic fun. Before their first visit to the club, the Camp satisfied a $1900 bill in order for the kids to enjoy the pool for the summer. Once they arrived, they were turned away. CNN interviewed a camper from the Creative Steps Day Camp as he tried and failed to hold back tears. The innocent child, no older than 8 or 9 years old, said he overheard a white woman say, “What are all these Black kids doing here…I’m afraid they might do something to my kids”. As the tears ran down his face, and his initial anecdote came to a close, he said, “I thought those days were over.” This statement is what inspired me to put this post together. Although the American society’s racial tolerance has improved leaps and bounds since the eradication of slavery, the fact remains that racism is very much, still a factor.

Now, I’m not writing this to bitch and moan about racism in this country, or to gain some sort of sympathy for the plight of Black Americans. The point of this regurgitation of feelings/thoughts is to lay down some reality. Although a child, the young boy’s naivete rubbed me the wrong way. Granted, I fully understand that children are oblivious to most of the problems faced by countless people in this country, but I think parents should give their kids a dose of reality at some point in their childhood. I think it is important for parents to sit children down and share with them their insight on the world we live in. Like telling them to wait until marriage to have sex, or not to smoke weed, and drink stay away from alcohol. Well, those don’t usually work out too well, but, you get my drift. Kids should know that they might encounter things like racism, and that not everyone is accepting of others. They should also know that not everybody thinks like them, not everyone follows the same religion, and not everyone lives the same life as they do, among other things. If you send your children out into the world with a tool box full of the right tools, they will be able to screw, hammer and saw their way through this construction site we call life. I know that analogy was probably the worst you’ve ever heard, and you are now ridiculing me with all of your being, but I thought I’d add some levity to the post. You get my drift anyway…..

A few weeks back I published a post called “Road Realizations”. In said post I listed a few things that start my blood a’ boilin’ while driving. One of those things was personalized license plates. I think they are extremely lame and should be outlawed immediately. Moving violations will be handed out to all who possess a personalized plate from this day forward. The thing is, a lot of these plates can be easily misconstrued, and with my over-active, perverted, and sometimes just barely working brain, I go with whatever pops in there first. Now, in preparation for this post, I have been compiling some flicks that I snapped out on the road of the feeble attempts at vehicular self expression. Along with these pics, will be other plates that I wasn’t able to capture while driving but still took note of. Speaking of risking life and limb while doing something in the car that isn’t driving, check out one of my previous posts about Bimbo’s. They’re soft, huggable and tasty!!!

"NEVERHM"

— Although this person may spend a lot of his time away from home, the owner is obviously a man who lives his life as a woman, and wants everyone to know just how much he enjoys cross-dressing. Hence the meaning of the inscription, “Never him”.

"JEAN C"

–A fan of “Cheers” are we? Unfortunately though, everybody doesn’t want to know your name, Jean C. Maybe this person should hook up with “NEVERHM” for some sexually ambiguous fun. Well, what do you expect? Jean is one of those names.

"MIGUE 1"

— Here is an example of the Spanish Speaking sector of the population trying to force their language on us Americans, once again. First, the Secaucus Wal-Mart refuses to hire workers who speak English, now this. Let’s take back America people.

"KITTY 18"

— For her 18th birthday, Kitty got a car. Now at age 42, every time she looks at her plate, she thinks back to the days when her “Kitty” (wink, wink) held up better to constant traffic, and was able to grip things better. (wink, wink) Like the road.

Now, for some that, unfortunately, I couldn’t snap a flick for…..

“COWGRRRRL” – this plate reveals the drivers’ favorite sexual position, the Cow Girl. It also lets on that, when in that position, she growls like a big hungry bear.

“WONBY3” – Didn’t understand this one until I saw the NY Giants logo to the left of the inscription. In Super Bowl 42, the New York Giants, “WON BY 3”. Or, you could say the New England Patriots got, “BEATEN BY 3”. Well, so did Plaxico Burress’ wife, within a few months of the victory. As multiple restraining orders were filed by her against him with the local police station.

“10 SIS” – This guy, driving a white van with the windows blacked out, A Chester Van, is obviously angry with his mother. If I had ten sisters, I too, would let the world know how much of a whore my mother was. Don’t know who Chester is? Click here to find out….

Nowadays, in my adult, somewhat mature, questionably responsible life, I look at what some kids do for entertainment. This, inevitably, releases the flood gates to the river of judgement. The ridicule flows, uninterrupted and my mind runs rampant with inquiries; What the hell is going on in their brain? Why would he do that? Is she crazy? Then the fairy of self realization appears on my shoulder and reminds me of the asinine things I used to do as a kid. This speaks to the whole, “Old people did it too…” post from a couple weeks back. Check it out for more hypocrisies imposed on the “age challenged”. After grasping the fact that some of the things I did as a youth were much worse, I retract my previous conjecture and reserve my judgement for other things. Below I list a few of the crazy, uninformed, yet fun, things that brought entertainment to my life as a youngster. Disclaimer: I do not suggest that anyone, children or adults, perform the following indiscretions, as some may lead to jail time and/or serious injury. Having said that, I must add that all of the following can be very entertaining as well as “gut-bustingly” fulfilling.

Whenever my cousins, siblings and I got together, in the absence of parents, I’d say 90% of the time, we were up to no good. One of our favorite pastimes was the Prank Call. We’d call restaurants that delivered and order, or not order, a few things. A call would go like this…

Restaurant Order Taker : “What would you like?”

Bored Kid(s): “Can I get a ____ , and a small ____ . Wow, those ____ sound good too, give me two of them.”

Restaurant Order Taker : “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

Bored Kid(s): “Oh, that’s alright. I like to order the ____ , with extra sauce, and the ____ . As well as two of those ____ , too. You know what scratch the ____ and just give me the large _____.”

Now, the blanks aren’t present for you to add what you’d like to order, but were the “punch line” of the prank. We spoke regularly throughout the calls but said nothing in the places where the blanks are, so it seemed as if our phones were breaking up. This would go on until the order taker realized that all we really wanted was to ______ them. <~~~ There, you can add what you like…

One of my cousins and I did some really dumb stuff together. Now, I was never a trouble making kid, when all by my lonesome, but when I got with this one cousin we both were borderline crazy. In front of my house, as well as the neighboring home, there were a lot of big shrubs and bushes. Big enough for us to hide behind, totally out of sight of passing cars, and throw rocks at the moving vehicles. Hooray for big bushes. No innuendo. To us this was really entertaining, and we never thought we’d get caught, until the impossible happened. One of the drivers got out of his car and investigated where the rocks came from. After a few minutes, he got back into his car and sped off angrily. Extremely afraid, we ran into the house, changed our underwear then assumed the fetal position in a corner and began shaking uncontrollably.

Another fun/dangerous/life threatening/sadistic activity my cousin and I engaged in was lighting cherry bombs and throwing them out of his 7th floor window. They’d land on a sidewalk full of unsuspecting loiterers as well as passersby and their reactions were priceless. This “game” found it’s end when my cousin failed to raise the screen quick enough, after lighting the firecracker. A bloody hand and two nervously, mischievous kids resulted from this activity.

Alright, that’s all I’m going to reveal. The forum is now open for submissions. What kind of crazy things did you do as a kid? Do they top any of the things on my list? Probably not, but I wasn’t a normal kid, nor am I a normal adult….Shadenfreude !!!! WTF You Say? <~~~~~~

During the hour that I spend in my car everyday going to a from work, and when I’m just behind the wheel aimlessly wasting my pricey, constantly rising gas, I see a lot of things. Things that are either out of the ordinary, things that activate my road rage and/or things that are humorous to me. Below, in no particular order, I have listed a few of these things. Please feel free to agree, disagree, and/or add to the list of “Road Realizations” in the comments section.

Here we go…

1. It is absolutely pointless for you, air-headed driver in front of me, to wait until you are starting your turn to put your damn blinker on. You might as well leave it off, IDIOT. Please, spare me. And my brakes…

2. Mind your own damn business!!! I know everybody wants to see the mangled cars on the other side of the median, but I have some place to be. Sometimes…

3. Picture this…You’re driving down the highway and in the distance, you see a cop who has pulled someone over on the shoulder. As your eyes focus back on the road in front of you, break lights come alive, several of the drivers in front of you revealing their asshole-ness. Now, to all you A-holes, answer me this… Do you really think that police officer is going to stop giving that person a ticket to come track you down? Come on. I mean, Really!?!?!?!

4. Old people should be required take tests that assess (that’s not asses, for the slow people) if they are able to keep up with the speed limit. Their height should also be measured sporadically so when their osteoporosis is at it’s worst, their license can be revoked. Have you ever driven past a barely moving car and didn’t see anyone behind the wheel? Don’t fret, someone is driving the car. It’s an old person whose bones have degenerated causing them to shrink into obscurity.

5. Personalized license plates are more outdated than the horse and buggy…That’s it. –UR LAME–

6. Gas prices suck. They suck even harder as the summer approaches and arrives, and at their highest level of suck-tivity, I often consider storing used chicken grease and using that to power my car.

Have any Road Realizations of your own? Post them in the comments below. Thanks.