I will be having surgery this week with general anesthesia. It is not my first…but it is the first time I have felt fear prior to the surgery.

And fear is not good in any situation. Then my fear escalated to a full blown panic attack when someone told me a story about how the same operation completely ruined a person’s knee!! I know she didn’t mean to frighten me…so I had to wonder why it happened.

I realized it was a reality check for me. I had been waffling between love and fear and I knew this happened so that I could get myself in the perfect loving energy I needed before the surgery.

*

Surrender

I completely trust my surgeon and I know that I will have the best possible outcome. I know this feeling too. It’s called love and it’s called knowing. And it’s beautiful!!

Hi Wendy! Thanks a bunch…yes…that fear can raise it’s ugly head when you least expect it…or need it!! I am catching up with you…I love all the little changes you are implementing and I will keep you in good energy that you will continue!! ❤

I think everyone, even the most spiritual person, battles fear. We are after all not pure energy, we live inside a vulnerable body that can be hurt or stop working, and since we, our identity, is attached to the body, we fear losing it. It is not something bad, it just is. Even Jesus was scared the day before he was going to be tortured and killed. I think like you say, the answer lies in the surrender. In my e-book “From the Eye of a Rainbow Child’s mind” I write about an episode from my childhood. I was little and scared of monsters. It was nighttime and I was trying to sleep but I thought the monsters would come and take me. The more I tried to comfort myself by saying monsters are not real or that there is nothing to be scared of, the more I fought and the more difficult the battle became. So eventually I just shouted: Come out then Monsters!! Come and get me if you can!! and of course no monster came, and then I relaxed and could sleep peacefully. I think when we accept that there are situations we cannot control and we let go of the control and just surrender, I think that is when we really release the negative energy and the fear and our courage blossoms. The same thing happened with the earth quakes here, I was so scared, I wanted to move, or to spend all my days on the ground, I was just expecting another quake and kept checking the wall hangings to see if they were moving, it was so exhausting! But then I kind of “gave up” I thought to myself that I cannot control this, what will happen will happen, and in that thought I let go and the fear went away.

Ah! My beautiful soul sister…YES!! Everything you wrote is such a huge revelation that is so hard to conquer! The fear makes us paralyzed which keeps us in that kind of energy. You are so wise to say to “surrender” to let it go…allows that energy to leave!! During my journey I have studied energy a lot. And it technically is very easy to understand, but I think our emotions get in the way and make it difficult to implement all the time. I know the fear you must have felt with the earthquakes…I felt it for you too. But then I had to change that energy to love and I had to believe that you would be ok! And you are more than ok…you are perfect love!!! Thanks so much for your beautiful comment…know that I think of you often and send you so much love ❤

@”And fear is not good in any situation.” – yes, indeed… fear may be negative and destructive… if you trust your surgeon, you’ll be fine and you’ll make it, LLL = lovely Lady Lorrie… 🙂 ❤ last but not least: positive vibes, strong and confident moral will always help you out to recover… 🙂

I’ll keep you in my prayers for the best outcome. Fear is no stranger to any of us. Then I have to go back to my mantra, “fear and faith cannot occupy the same space”. It helps. Especially when you recognize the little demon for what it is. 😉

Beautiful and heartfelt post Lorrie. I love the creative way you made a haiku sandwich with fear and love. 🙂 This is the third post about love and letting go of fear I’ve seen. I must need the reminder too!
Blessings on your surgery. May we truly know, feel and embrace love, softly allowing fear to melt away, no need to fight or struggle. 🙂

Ah! Thanks, Brad 🙂 I think it is awesome the way the universe aligns us…sometimes bonk us over the head…to see the things we need to work on. I am so grateful for your well wishes…I know it strengthens my energy 🙂 Hope all is well with you my friend ❤

Being no stranger to this moment you have captured, I think the trap here is this idea that “if I am fearful prior to surgery” then “I am at risk of an undesirable outcome…” There is this idea that we are in charge, through what I’ll call these “surface thoughts”. But they are just so many nothings drifting past… We need not fear their power… For their only power is what we give them, these baubles of non-existence… No need to fight them, but just settle into the deeper comfort of your being, as I think you have. I just wanted to highlight the fact that this way of thinking is simply incorrect. We fear things everyday which do not happen. We think positively every day about things which do not happen. The unexpected is always happening. Our creative power runs much deeper I think, in the furnace of our heart, where words melt and dissolve… As we settle into that place, we start to remember its language…

Fear is what it feels like to dream of being alone and vulnerable, on the surface. Love is what it feels like to be unified and eternal, running deep. A knee is basically a perfectly neutral assemblage of cartilage, bone and other wonders not fully understood that has been perfected over millions of years and like all elements of the body, is even now expressing an idea that was given it, of vulnerability. There is a strange thing invulnerability does from time to time: it puts vulnerability on its back and carries it…

Wishing you many blessings and the fullness of a mind at peace!
Michael

Ah! Michael…wow! It is hard to know how to begin to respond to this incredible comment of yours!

I think first, I want to say that I believe I have “settled into the deeper comfort of my being,” and that I can’t tell you how much I love this description! The second thing is I love: “There is a strange thing invulnerability does from time to time: it puts vulnerability on its back and carries it…”
And I think you have hit the nail on the head about where our creative powers lie…and that connection is the difference between thinking a thought and “being!”
Thank you so much for your brilliant reminder 🙂 I am totally at peace. I have prepared my body physically for the surgery and I give thanks for all here who helped me prime my mind ♡ Many blessings.

Prayers for you . . . I remember my first surgery when I was only 27 (the first of 5) and while in the hosptial I opened my Bible up and this was the verse I saw . . . Deuteronomy 31:8 And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed . . . I sat there and thought He has already had the surgery for me! I have taken this verse with me each time and it has truly brought me peace. So fear not my friend HE IS WITH YOU! ~ Amen and Amen ~

Sending love, courage, strength, a deep belly tear inducing laugh, compassion, forgiveness, soul lifting music and a warm nurturing hug. As we know from the Course, fear will always creep in but only love is real. I love you.

Well, I entirely understand the worry of it all Lorrie, believe me I do. And I would not have wanted you to think my comment was facetious, as it was of course not intended in that way. The truth is, you will be fine, regardless of what the worrisome thoughts and feelings conjure into existence. They are such a damned nuisance, rather like a noisy neighbour who serves no purpose other than being an irritation. As with the noisy neighbour, we cannot ‘philosophise away’ our worries, and so for that reason I find it can help to just keep it very simple: “You will be fine”. H ❤

Oh, Hariod….I did not take any offense to your comment…quite the contrary!! I completely agree with you!! I think I was a bit baffled at my reaction. I have had to undergo quite a few surgeries in my lifetime [ 😦 ] at times when my spiritual development was pretty much non-existent and my approach mentally/emotionally was peaceful and doubtless. I couldn’t grasp why I allowed fear to permeate my psyche, especially when I have learned so much in the past few years. I still don’t know the “reason.” Unlike the past when I would have made myself crazy trying to figure it all out, I am now content to let it go. And it is that simple!! 🙂

Please don’t ever think I would think that you are coming from a place other than kindness and love 🙂 and if I ever have a question…I will ask you! I value your friendship and I thank you for your support ♡

A dear friend once shared with me as she was about to embark on multiple surgeries.
Fear is here with me. There’s little point in denying it.
So I embrace it. I take fear and set it down firmly in the passenger seat next to me.
I click her seat belt on. I acknowledge that fear is part of this journey with me.
And then remind myself that I am in the drivers seat… not fear.
You will do just fine Lorrie.
Hugs
xoxo

I love it, Val! What a great visual and super way to deal with something that, of course, has to evoke a bit of fear. I will strap myself into the driver’s seat…and make sure my passenger is also secured 😉 Thanks so much for your comfort, Val…I really appreciate you ♡

Panic attacks are awful. I have had spells that went on for months at a time where I experienced them daily…so bad that I spent much of the time crouched on the floor next to a box fan ,and making my husband take my pulse. They are hideous.

I am praying for a successful surgery and for you to be continually protected from panic attacks…that you will be filled with peace.

Oh, Theresa…Thank you my friend for your beautiful blessings! I’m so sorry to hear about your horrible experiences with panic attacks! I pray for your continued freedom from that. I am so grateful that you stopped by and offered your beautiful support 🙂 it means a lot to me ♡

I love how I respond to your writing, how I connect to it, how I care for you. I know that your life is going to be what you make it, it will be. I know that you make my life more joyful. I am ready for a collaboration. Thank you as always, whether it is your intent or not, you ground me. Much love and soft healing energy, Harlon

Hello my dear friend 🙂 Thank you so much…your response made me smile the whole time! Thank you for your vote of confidence and for being here. I am taking it easy and resting in my beingness (is that a word?) As far as grounding…grounding is good…unless you need to fly 😉 I don’t know if you have an email contact on your page…I will look tonight (or in the morning) if you don’t …please write to me from my contact page and then I will write you back. Much love to you Harlon…and thanks again ♡

So someone told you about a surgery that did not go so well, but we might not know all the details. How about all those surgeries that did go well? Logically, there is an excellent chance yours will go quite well. Add to that logic, the more important, more powerful love, and faith, and good wishes you have here, and fear will be where it belongs. I’d put fear in the back seat, off to the side, being comforted like a child, with love, by one of the many angels riding beside and behind you. You have a loving army supporting you. Your knee will be fixed and will heal nicely. 🙂 ❤

I LOVE your response, JoAnne!! 🙂 First of all…yes…the logic part 😉 You made a very good case there!! But my favorite part is , “by one of the many angels riding beside and behind you. You have a loving army supporting you.” Ah!! I can feel my army of angels…and I include YOU in that category 🙂 Thank you so much. My surgery is Wednesday morning…so one more day. I’m very relaxed and peaceful. ♡♡

My goodness, you are blessed with so many followers! I am proud to be one of them. I hope you will accept my nomination for the newest WordPress Family Award. You are certainly as close as a sister with your encouragement and support over these many months. I appreciate you and you can check out the requirements on my new post. Blessings,

Hi Ellie…I am proud to have you for a sister:) and I thank you for this nomination which means a whole lot to me. I have suspended participating in awards for the time being for lack of time to do the awards justice. Please know I am grateful for your thoughts. I hope all is super in your world ♡

That knowing is wonderful, and we can trust it. But we’re in the human form, so fearful thoughts may cross our mind from time to time. We can just let them pass, let them run across the screen, or sit them down in the passenger seat and belt them down as Val says. They have no power when we’re filled with love, and trust the knowing. You’ll do well, Lorrie! Love, Tiny

I’m happy to know that everything turned out okay for you, Lorrie. I get panic attacks triggered by health stuff, too, so I totally know what you were going through. The anxiety is often worse than the problem itself, isn’t it…Warnest wishes – Julie