Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory’s so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
‘Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

I attended a weeks mediumship course at the Arthur Findlay College in Stansted several years ago with my friend Trudie. As always it had been an emotional time with most of us receiving wonderful messages from our loved ones in spirit, and most of us also giving messages to other students. Being a medium and giving such messages can be quite overwhelming at times when you know the impact that it may have on the recipient.

It had been a fantastic time where we had all moved forward leaps and bounds, both in our links with spirit and in our confidence in feeling at ease enough to stand and give demonstrations to an audience of other students, who are normally our harshest critics!

My tutor that particular week was the very wonderful Janet Parker. She is an extremely spiritual woman and whenever I have been blessed with being in her class I have always felt that she gives each and every one of her students as much support as possible. I don’t think many people appreciate the challenges that we mediums put ourselves through when we attend these courses. It is not as if you can revise to ensure that you manage to maintain a link with spirit, or that you can practise on your own, or that you can read manuals. It really is just a case of putting yourself forward to serve spirit in the best possible way you can. It is a case of learning to allow your mind to become still so that you can connect to spirit without all the day-to-day activities, planning, worries, and the general hum drum taking over your thoughts. You have to be totally trusting when you open your awareness to make contact with spirit. Sometimes you may hear spirit, or feel them, or see visions in your mind’s eye, and you have to give the information you are given without adding your own thoughts or ideas. It is quite a discipline to learn. It is not until you try to do this for hours on end that you realise how difficult it can be to overcome all the nagging thoughts that suddenly rush into your head and scream to be heard!

Being in such a spiritual environment does seem to bring out the very best in my mediumship. I am sure that spirits are drawn to the place like moths around a light bulb. There is never a shortage of loved ones who are trying to get their messages conveyed through the students and it really does make the courses so worthwhile. The tutors guide you gently towards achieving the very best mediumship you can manage and offer tips and ideas to ensure that you develop to your highest potential.

This particular week was very special as on the very first night I had received the most exact and evidential messages from both my parents through one of the tutors and then also throughout the week from several of the students. I had been going through a very tough time in my personal life and really felt the messages that I was fortunate enough to receive showed that I still had my parents around me, still loving me and supporting me and offering their advise. Each reading I had received had contained different evidence that no-one there could have possibly known. I felt incredibly blessed.

As the week came to a close I felt sad that I would be leaving. Not only would I miss the teachings and the practising of my mediumship, but I knew it was unlikely that I would be in a position to receive any further communications from my parents for quite some while. Janet, and Paul Jacobs, another tutor, had organised a closing ceremony in The Sanctuary, a beautiful church attached to the college where spiritual services are held on a regular basis. It has a fantastic uplifting atmosphere and I’ve always loved being there, you can almost feel arms wrapped around you as you walk in. They told us that we weren’t allowed to attend until 8pm as they had some preparations to complete. Trudie and I hadn’t really given the evening too much thought as most final evenings are nice, but not anything out of the ordinary.

When we walked into the Sanctuary, just after 8pm, we were greeted by the most wonderful vision of beautiful materials and oriental rugs laid on the floor running down the centre of the church. Incense sticks were burning and candles flickered in the darkness. Hundreds of small unlit tealight candles had been placed on the materials and chairs were placed either side running the length of the Sanctuary. There was a hush of anticipation as we students all filed in quietly, taking our seats whilst gentle music was playing.

Trudie and I sat next to each other about midway down the room. Janet and Paul both gave a talk about the week we had just experienced and thanked spirit for their participation in our teachings. Janet then instructed the students sitting at the end of the rows to light a candle for each loved one they had in spirit, then the lighter was to be passed to the next student, then the next etc. By the time it came to Trudie and I most of the candles were already lit and the Sanctuary looked absolutely amazing. I lit candles for my Mum, for my Dad, for my brother, for my friend Janet, and not wishing to look greedy, lit another jointly for all my aunts. uncles and grandparents in spirit. Trudie too lit candles for those she had loved and lost, including her cousin Robert whom she missed so much.

When all the candles were lit Janet asked us to close our eyes. She asked us to give thanks to our guides and loved ones for helping us through the week and for allowing us to experience the love from spirit that we had all shared. Whilst our eyes were closed, and we were sitting in the candle light, Janet put on the music, To Where You Are, performed by Josh Groban. I had never heard this before and was lost in the beautiful words that meant so much to me. I couldn’t help but start crying, both because of the joy of knowing my loved ones were so close and also because of the pain and loss at realising that I can’t always reach out and touch them, speak to them, or hold them as I once did. I felt around in my pocket for a tissue and all I had was an old crumpled one. I thought it would have to do, and then I realised Trudie was crying too, she whispered to me “Do you have a tissue?”, I only had the one, so I tore it in half, and there we were, the two of us, holding hands and using half a tissue each to mop our tears.

Whenever I listen to this beautiful song, as I often do, I am taken straight back to the Sanctuary, to the love and connection I felt with spirit, to the knowledge that I know how very fortunate I am to have my loved ones in spirit still so close to me …. and then, when the emotion becomes almost just too much to bear …. to the old crumpled tissue that my friend Trudie and I shared!

Over the years I have been to see many mediums giving demonstrations. Some have been ok, some have been so dreadful it was an embarrassment for everyone, and some have been very good.

A few weeks ago I was told that Mandy Wylde would be giving a demonstration of her mediumship at Woolston Spiritual Centre, a newly opened non-denominational centre near Southampton. I had met Mandy only a couple of times at another spiritualist church I attended a couple of years ago. I was introduced to her by another friend, Jane, and she had told me that Mandy was a very good spiritual healer and a medium, but I had never known anyone she had carried out a reading for.

A couple of a my friends were going along so I decided it might be a nice way to spend a summer’s evening. My friend Annette and her husband Colin had opened the centre a few months before but as I had been unwell I hadn’t managed to go along and see everyone, so it would also be wonderful to catch up with some old friends and see the new centre.

All the way there my tummy was churning, which is something that happens whenever spirit are close to me. It is a familiar feeling if I am sitting for spirit or in any kind of development group, but not normally when I am going to see someone else give a demonstration. I told my friend Niki that my tummy felt very odd and she said that it might mean I was going to be given a message. I have been to many demonstrations over the last few years, but so rarely received a message from any of my loved ones in spirit that I didn’t really consider that this particular night would be any different.

As soon as Mandy stood up I really thought I was going to be sick, my stomach went totally ballistic and I thought I might have to leave the hall because I felt so dreadful. Then, seriously, every single hair on my body went on end, I had the biggest whooshy feeling I had ever experienced. Mandy started talking and said she had a woman in spirit with her and was talking about a house fire. I knew we had a house fire when I was very young so I kept listening to the evidence she was giving. Then she went on to say that this woman had arthritis, which again Mum had suffered with. I was still wary of putting up my hand because I would absolutely hate to steal someone elses message, but then Mandy said she could hear a song being played that she knew was important to both the woman she felt was with her, and the recipient. The song was Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue’ sung by Crystal Gayle. My goodness, I was struggling to hold back the tears. When I was younger I had quite a good singing voice and Mum had specifically asked me to record myself singing this song. She carried the tape around with her for years and always made her friends listen to it whilst they were travelling in the car. Immediately I put up my hand.

Mandy went on to give me the most wonderful evidence that she had my Mum with her, evidence that none of my friends even knew. It was the most beautiful heart warming message and Mandy conveyed exactly the personality of my Mum. She even talked about a discussion I had been having earlier that day, which there was no way in the world she could have possibly known about it. It was amazing.

She then went on to give other messages to several other people in the hall. Each of them was delivered with respect, kindness and a real sense of who they were. She managed to lighten the atmosphere when required with funny anecdotal evidence but was also able to give the most touching messages. It was a real pleasure to spend the evening watching her demonstrate and I could have happily sat there for much longer. The hall’s atmosphere was fabulous, everyone was laughing and smiling, some were crying with joy and gasping at her incredible accuracy. She gave names, relationships, addresses and really unusual information. I have to say it was the very best demonstration of mediumship I had ever seen.

A couple of weeks passed and another medium was due to hold the Sunday service at the centre, but had cancelled for some reason and so Annette asked Mandy if she could step in. I hadn’t planned on going along at all, but as the weekend went by I really felt that I must go. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but I knew I would regret it if I didn’t go.

It was another lovely summers evening and the atmosphere of the hall was warm and inviting. There are large windows along one wall and the sun was shining in as we all sat there waiting for the evening to begin. I couldn’t believe it when yet again my tummy started churning and I kept praying that it would stop. To begin with Mandy gave a wonderful reading and address about a man who had been struck by lightning and had medically died but who managed to survive and could remember being dead! It was fascinating, especially the enormous changes it made to his whole life. So often I have sat through the most long-winded boring addresses and just been waiting for them to finish, but this was really interesting.

We sang a couple of songs and then Mandy stood to give her demonstration of mediumship. She gave several excellent messages to different people and after a while I could see from the clock that it was almost time for her to finish. I wondered why my tummy had been churning so much, having secretly hoped that maybe I would receive another message, but I didn’t really dare hope that would happen. I had already enjoyed the evening so much so was thinking that we would be going home in a minute or two.

Then Mandy started physically describing a man who sounded very much like my brother, and again I was covered in goosebumps, but didn’t put my hand up until I had heard more. Mandy then talked about his personality, which was quite unique and she said he was telling her the name Ray – which was my brother’s name. I just knew it was him, so excitedly put my hand up. Yet again Mandy gave me astonishing evidence and even more wonderful was that my aunt had come with him, and Mandy gave the most wonderful unequivocal information about her too.

I realised then why I had been so keen to go along. I felt so blessed that in a matter of just a few weeks I had received messages from both Mum and Ray. I am sure that a bright future lays ahead for Mandy. She is such a good medium that as word spreads she will certainly be in great demand!

Comment emailed to me by Mandy Wylde:

Dearest Tisha,

I am moved to tears after reading your journal, I am so thrilled you felt so much peace and love on the two occasions you came to Woolston Spiritual Centre. Some months ago I asked spirit, “put me where you want me to be”, I guess they did. I love giving evidence from the spirit world to bring love and comfort, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, much love xx

Goose bumps provoked by a fresh breeze. Photo taken in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I was a very young girl I was always aware of energies around me because, when they were about, I experienced head to toe goosebumps. I would happily be walking down the stairs and then suddenly …. whoosh … there they were … and I would be terrified!

From when I was 9 years old we lived in a typical 1930’s semi-detached three bedroom house in Twickenham, outer London. When Mum and Dad first bought the house it was very dowdy and when we arrived I thought it was really spooky. Full of dark colours and with drab curtains hanging at the windows, I wasn’t at all impressed. I’d have given anything to go back to the modern houses we had lived in when we were living in Essex before Dad had been transferred from Shell Haven, near Southend, to the Shell laboratories in Egham, Surrey. Mum though was thrilled to be living back near London and her relatives, and Dad was really happy as his transfer was also a step up the career ladder.

My twin sister, Tina, and I had to share the back bedroom which was decorated with wallpaper that was supposed to be ‘stone-wall effect’. Why anyone would ever want that in a bedroom I had no idea. It was horrid! Mum and Dad had the large double room overlooking the green at the front of the house, my brother Ray had a small single room and we all shared a pretty awful stark and very chilly bathroom. Downstairs was a sitting room with a dark wood panelled dining room at one end and a fairly small kitchen with a walk-in larder. There was no separate loo and no central heating. In the kitchen was a very old coal-fired boiler which I gathered heated the hot water and the only other heating in the house was a coal fire in the sitting room that seemed to emit more smoke than warmth. The back garden faced north-east so it was never bright and sunny. All in all I wondered, even at that young age, why on earth Mum and Dad had bought this awful dreary house.

Within a short time of moving in Mum, Tina and I were very busy decorating. Yes, you did read that correctly! My Dad, bless, was no decorator, and unless you wanted your wallpaper hung upside down or with the pattern mis-matched, and drips of gloss running down the doors, you didn’t ask him to help. Ray was far more interested in being out and about with his friends, so it was up to us girls to get stuck in. Mum was a dab-hand at everything d.i.y. and from when Tina and I could just about walk she had taught us all she knew. She had so much patience and would spend hours teaching us how to prepare surfaces for painting, how to hold a paintbrush and put just enough gloss paint on so that it covered but did not run. There she was with her beautifully manicured nails and her exquisitely styled hair, full make up and happy as a sandboy, she’d be up and down ladders, painting, wallpapering and even stripping and painting furniture. Mum was fantastic with colours and her interior design flair soon brightened every inch of the house. All the dark wallpapers had gone replaced by bright light modern colours. It was a total transformation and the neighbours kept popping round to ask Mum’s advise. She missed her calling there I think, she should have set up in business and she’d have done so well.

From the moment we moved in I felt that there was a lot going on spiritually speaking. Both Tina and I were becoming more and more aware of energies in our bedroom at night. I would get myself under the covers and not dare to peek out because I just knew ‘someone’ was in the room and would be covered in goosebumps, no matter the actual temperature. Stupidly I had thought that now the house was brighter I would feel more at ease. I suppose thinking about it now, why would the colour of the wallpaper or the curtains make one jot of difference to a spirit!

What didn’t help either was that Dad would often go upstairs and sit on his own in the bedroom he and Mum shared. If you walked past the door you could hear him having a one-sided conversation (not that Tina and I would ever stand there and listen intentionally!). It was all very odd and if we asked who he was talking to he would make some excuse not to answer. It was only many years later that he told us that he would be talking to his twin sister Mary, who had died when he was five, and he also had regular chats with his Father-in-law, Ray (Mum’s Dad), who had passed to spirit before Tina and I were even born. Mum was exploring her religious beliefs and spirituality and among other religions that she dabbled with, was off to spiritual meetings and circles whilst we lived there, so no wonder the house was busy with spirit energies!

I remember one particular Saturday afternoon. Dad was sitting watching sport on the tv and I was going to go upstairs to collect a book to read. As I went to go up the stairs I was suddenly covered in goosebumps and I froze, I called to Dad and explained that I had gone all whooshy. To try to put me at my ease he explained that if there was anything on the stairs, our dog, Belle (a beautiful Saluki) would know about it. He went and brought her out from the sitting room. She too froze at the bottom of the stairs and with her heckels up began to growl. Dad said she had picked up on my fear and put her back in the sitting room and went and got Perky, our cat, who was curled up by the boiler, and put her on the bottom of the stairs too. There was no way she was going to go upstairs either! She quickly ran back into the kitchen. Dad walked up the stairs with me and as we almost got to the turn near the top the hairs on every inch of my body were standing on end and I was what I now term ‘mega-whooshy’. As soon as we reached the landing the feeling began to subside.

The bathroom was very busy, spiritually speaking, I often felt ‘someone’ was in there, even in the bath I would be going whooshy! Looking back I suppose I should have asked who it was, but at such a young age I never thought to do that. All of the family saw someone walk into the bathroom on many occasions and we also used to see the towels lifted off the towel rail, which became quite a common occurrence! I soon learnt that the best way to deal with all the odd feelings I had was to imagine a transparent bubble surrounding me that nothing could penetrate. No-one ever told me to do this, it was purely instinctive, and throughout my whole life it is something I have often done without even really thinking about it. I always feel amazingly safe in my bubble of protection.

Over the years in Twickenham the whole family saw and felt spirit energies both in the house and just outside in the garden. Sometimes just one of us would experience something but often it would two or more of us at the same time. We would all be sitting eating our lunch in the dining room and often see someone walk past the french doors, which was impossible as it went nowhere. To begin with Dad would go outside to see who it was, but after several sightings we all just took it as ‘normal’ and would acknowledge whoever it was and carry on with our meal. I always knew someone was about because I would experience my whooshy feeling even before anyone else said anything. I didn’t mind too much when we were all together, but I didn’t like it at all when I was in the house on my own, which I would try to avoid as much as possible.

Since that time I have learnt that when I feel the whoosh it is my very own spiritual radar working. It has never been wrong. It works in many different ways now. I suppose as I’ve grown older, it has been fine-tuned. If I am giving a demonstration of spirit and am not sure who the recipient is, it has come in very handy. For example, say I have an elderly gentleman trying to connect with someone, as I start giving evidence I am never sure who it is for. If someone tries to accept the message and I don’t experience the ‘whoosh’ I know the message is not for them, but the moment the right recipient acknowledges the spirit, from my feet up I feel the ‘whoosh’ rushing right up through my body, and I know it is right. It’s also very useful when I have been sitting in church, or in a circle, and someone tries to place a spirit reading with me. They may say ‘I have your Dad with me’ and if I feel nothing I know they haven’t, but if I feel the whoosh I know they have.

As most of my friends are mediums or healers, we do have some, shall I say, rather strange conversations at times. We chat about our experiences with spirit and some of them are really quite incredible, and some are almost unbelievable. Many people, I am sure, had they been eavesdropping, would think ‘what a load of rubbish’, and I must admit on occasions I have found some things hard to swallow. Even as I am sometimes recounting some of the wonderful and weird occurrences that I have been witness to, or been involved with, I am sure others must just have at least the slightest inkling that I am exaggerating! I have sat listening to the most amazing stories and have been covered in goosebumps and just know that what I am being told is true. I feel I am so fortunate to have my own lie-detector on board and what is even better is that I can show people too! It doesn’t matter, even if I’m sitting in warm sunshine, if I get the whoosh, I am covered in goosebumps. It is a wonderful way of proving that I am receiving a ‘signal’. At other times friends will ask my advise, and if they give me alternative solutions to their problems I will feel the whoosh when they mention the correct course of action for them to take. The whoosh then becomes like spiritual shorthand. As I said, it has been fine-tuned, and I can’t imagine my life without it now.

I was sitting chatting to two friends, Niki and Sharon, last week and we were discussing how, after we had passed into spirit ourselves, we would be able to give the kind of evidence to a medium so that our friends and loved ones would absolutely know it was us. For Sharon we said that she could say she had an affinity with wolves, had a phoenix tattoo and enjoyed karaoke. That would certainly be Sharon! For Niki, we all agreed on the description of big hair (Niki naturally has lots and lots of very curly hair) and her favourite saying which is ‘I don’t know’. I think we would know that was Niki without too much of a problem. For me, I had to laugh, Sharon said there was just one word that would guarantee it was me. The word? Whooshy!!

She loved him like he was
The last man on Earth
Gave him everything she ever had
He’d break her spirit down
Then come lovin’ up to her
Give a little, then take it back

She’d tell him about her dreams
He’d just shoot ’em down
Lord he loved to make her cry
“You’re crazy for believin’
You’ll ever leave the ground”
He said, “Only angels know how to fly”

And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

One Sunday morning
She didn’t go to church
He wondered why she didn’t leave
He went up to the bedroom
Found a note by the window
With the curtains blowin’ in the breeze

And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

I try so very hard not to look back on my previous ‘life’ with negative thoughts but must admit sometimes it’s tough not to! I prefer to concentrate my thoughts on the now and with my wonderful husband Simon and the friends I am so very fortunate to have in my life.

Last night we were sitting listening to our favourite music tracks and Simon played one that has a particular place in my heart. It was a song I used to listen to when I was in my previous marriage, when I felt there was no way out. I would imagine myself flying away, having the freedom to spend time with my friends, to chat on the phone, to read books and to be able to have fun. To be able to be excited and not have my dreams mocked, not to be in trouble over everything I ever did or said. To be able to be me.

I used to lay in bed at night wondering how I could leave. I would envisage a life so removed from that which I had, but which I always thought was unattainable.

My ex-husband and I had been to Calgary in Canada and were staying with one of his business associates and his very lovely and spiritual wife, when, very strangely, whilst driving along in the back of the car, my wedding ring had literally and inexplicably broken into pieces. His wife was stunned and as she was already aware that my marriage was not wonderful, but not to the extent it actually was, she said that it was definitely a sign that it was beyond repair.

She and her husband were coming over to England just a couple of weeks later and she and I had arranged to go and see Diana Garland who offered astrological and clairvoyant readings. I had met Diana years before at a spiritual event and had been most impressed. She went for her reading first and was really pleased when she came out, saying how accurate Diana had been. I went in for my reading not expecting that I would hear anything particularly life changing, but I was in for a big surprise. I had always kept my marital problems to myself but Diana certainly picked up on them, and in her gentle and guiding way she explained that my chart showed that a massive change was about to happen in my life. She told me that if I didn’t make a decision very soon the chance would be gone and I would be stuck in my life for always. The very next morning, I actually came to the decision to risk everything and leave.

I drove over 50 miles across country, down narrow lanes, weaving my way across the countryside to my sister’s house. I drove my car but felt as if I was flying, knowing that no matter what happened I would never go back, knowing that at last I would not be spending my life living in fear. I had never felt spirit so close to me as that morning, I felt a golden light surrounding my little car and me, a safety bubble that nothing could penetrate. For the first time in over 25 years I felt totally safe. It was the most incredible feeling.

I had not been able to be in contact with my twin sister very much as he had objected to our relationship (gulp – how can that possibly be?) so I had no idea that she and her husband and their six children were about to move. We decided that we would find somewhere where we could all move together and my sister and I went all over the country looking at properties before settling on a house in Hampshire.

When I spoke to my friend Susan Roberts, a wonderful psychic medium from Barnstaple who started the English Psychic Company, she told me that within a few months I would be meeting my soul mate, but wouldn’t actually see him – I wondered how on earth that could be! She said that we would be made for each other and would be living together within six months of meeting. I had known Susan for several years and knew that her predictions were generally spot on but couldn’t quite believe what she was saying. It all sounded too good to be true.

Shortly after moving to Hampshire I attended a weeks residential course at the Arthur Findlay College in Stanstead. I booked a private mediumship reading with the tutor Simone Key whom I had never met before. As soon as walked in the room, and before I had even sat down, she said ‘my goodness you’ve just left a relationship after over 25 years’. Talk about accurate! She went on to tell me that I would shortly meet a fantastic young man who was my soul mate. She said I would have a life full of fun and laughter with him and that he would support me in everything. I was just a little amazed after an almost identical reading from Susan. I couldn’t wait!

Whenever people tell you that you have a fabulous future ahead of you it does take some getting used to. I still didn’t quite understand how I could meet someone but not see them though. That really confused me. Little did I know then that I would join an internet dating site and meet the most lovely man who didn’t put his photo on the site!

How incredibly organised spirit was. I look back now and see that from the moment my wedding ring broke everything was in place to put me on my new pathway. I was given the confidence to make life changing decisions safe in the knowledge that spirit were with me, guiding me through the readings from the most genuine people. I felt that I had a promise of a new life … just waiting round the corner.

Tomorrow, Simon and I will be celebrating our FIFTH wedding anniversary! We’ve known each other just over seven years now and my life with him is just as foretold. I adore being his wife, his friend, his playmate, his love.

He has accepted me totally for who I am. I am just me …. and there are no words in the world to describe how unbelievable that is. To be loved and love is heaven and I count my blessings every day. Thank you!

I seem to go through phases in my life when everything, spiritually speaking, goes very quiet. At other times I feel that whichever way I turn they are almost shouting out at me, “Wake up – we are here!”.

The problem is that sometimes I have too many activities going on. Before you think, wow, this woman lives life in the fast lane, I’m talking more about catching up on the washing and ironing, sorting out the freezer, balancing the bank account etc, not terrifically exciting.

I feel that recently I have been busy with people, which is wonderful, and I never complain about that, but the weeks just suddenly whizz by and I realise I haven’t been spending the time I feel I need to be moving forward spiritually.

My weekends with Simon are precious and so I tend to keep Saturday and Sunday free for ‘us time’. I spend a day a week with my twin Tina, then I see friends a couple of afternoons a week. Since writing this blog I now follow other blogs and can easily lose a couple of hours a day reading them, replying to them, and researching what they have been discussing.

On top of that I have just started to become acquainted with Squidoo, which is another way of publishing information on-line. Simon’s hobby is photography and he was told about Squidoo a couple of weeks ago, and of course, once he had looked at it he told me I should, so suddenly another few days went A.W.O.L. as I became engrossed in learning all about it.

There are also friends who live dotted around the world who I try to keep in touch with on a fairly regular basis either with emails or phone calls, relatives who live closer who come over for dinner, pets that need attending to, holidays that need researching etc …. the list is endless!

I also have several books on the go. A friend told me about a book I ‘must’ read which is an alternative way of treating thyroid problems, which I have been battling for years, so that book has joined the other three beside the bed that I am part-way through reading. Then I have my beloved kindle which I have become hopelessly addicted to. I see books that I feel I should read, and now, instead of spending a fortune, I can, for a fraction of the price, download them literally within seconds, and ‘bingo’ yet another book to read!

On top of all of this, due to my health problems, I have to take lots of breaks, and if I don’t my body soon decides to enforce longer rest periods, which is unbelievably frustrating when there is so much to do, that in my head at least, I feel somehow I should be able to fit in.

Well recently I have felt slightly disconnected from spirit. I haven’t attended any workshops or circles for months and haven’t been along to any demonstrations of mediumship for almost a month (my wonderful weekend away!). Everytime I have tried to meditate recently I have found myself falling asleep in the chair and waking up with a stiff neck, so that hasn’t had what I would term the desired effect of feeling closer to spirit at all. Spirit though have a way of letting me know they are around, sometimes in subtle ways, sometimes not quite as subtle as I would like.

If you read one of my earlier posts, 6) Man in the Mirror, you will know that whilst having a shower one day, I happened to see my spiritual guide in the mirror. Since that time I must admit that at times when I’m going to have a shower I do get just ever so slightly spooked. Often I am not, and happily go and have a shower without a thought, but at other times I just suddenly feel that I would be much happier if Simon was sitting close by.

On Sunday I went upstairs to have a shower and Simon was sitting downstairs watching t.v. I felt absolutely fine, not spooked in the slightest, I had put the hot water on, organised my shampoo, conditioner, hair remover etc, and I was just about to get in the shower when I felt aware of ‘something’. I can’t say I was really that worried, but thought that some music might be nice to take my mind off any weird feelings. I bought my portable radio into the bathroom, turned it on and just couldn’t believe my ears when the tune ‘Man in the Mirror’ boomed out! I think that was quite a coincidence – if there are such things as coincidences – which I gather from a spiritual point of view there are not! I decided that I would be brave and continued to have my shower, on my own, and really felt that I had overcome one of my fears. Fortunately nothing odd appeared in the mirror that time! Phew!

Last week I went to see my friend Kay. She has been very unwell with vertigo for several months and has been rarely able to leave her home due to her unrelenting dizziness. I love to go and visit her as she is very good company, full of interesting stories, and we also share a lot of common experiences from our childhoods. She has had an awful lot to contend with health wise over the last few years and she always amazes me with her positive approach to life. She is one of life’s fighters and I have never once heard her complain or make ‘poor me’ comments, she just takes everything in her stride, looks for the best in every situation and most importantly, looks at how she can help others in the same boat as her. She is one very strong lady!

Well that very morning Kay had been to the doctors for some test results and was told that she was diabetic and that she would need to take medication and change her diet. As we were sitting talking, I suddenly felt compelled to give her healing. I should explain that I am not what I would call a healer at all. There have been a few instances in my life where I have had the same feeling, and always gone along with it, knowing that spirit obviously see a need. I sat there whilst Kay and I were discussing her new diagnosis, becoming increasingly aware of what I can only describe as an instruction, that I should give her healing. I ignored the feeling for a few minutes until it became overwhelming and I really had no choice in the matter. Now, Kay has been ill since last summer, and I hadn’t once felt I should give her healing, so this was quite a new experience for me. I asked her if she would mind and she said it would be fine.

She was sitting down and I stood behind her and placed my hands on her shoulders. Within moments my hands felt as if they were fizzing, and they also felt extremely hot. My whole body became hotter and hotter, even my toes were hot, and I normally have cold feet. Even though my eyes were closed I could see a bright light, almost like a beam, coming towards me. I felt that we were both immersed in this wonderful healing ray. Kay said she could feel the heat across her chest and she too was aware of a light, which she felt was going to her heart. It was a truly beautiful serene time. I kept hearing the word opalite, which meant nothing to me. I tend to ignore anything I hear until I am told it several times, just in case it is my imagination, but I just kept hearing that word. I have never had much interest in crystals and know nothing about them at all, but did feel that this was something to do with a crystal.

I gradually felt my hands return to normal and the heat left me. As I sat down I told Kay that I had kept hearing the word opalite. She didn’t know what it meant either, so we looked it up in a reference book she has about crystals. I was stunned when I read that it is used to regulate insulin!!! My goodness, I just couldn’t believe it. I just love it when spirit gives me pertinent information that I would have never known about before, and when I research it, it proves to be totally correct.

I had always considered crystals a little ‘new age’ and never really thought of them as a serious way to heal or balance the body before. I shall certainly view them with more reverence in future. Hmmmm …. I feel another book or two that will need reading!

Simon and I always try to do something different for our birthdays. Over the years amongst other things, I’ve been whisked away for a romantic break to a luxury hotel, we’ve been on the London Eye and Simon has been a racing driver, etc. You get the gist. The whole idea is that our birthdays are memorable events, a special day to mark the beginning of our next year. So, when friends of mine mentioned a Psychic & Spiritual Festival that started on my birthday I thought it would be a unique way to enjoy a get-away and experience the work of mediums that I hadn’t seen before.

As the event was being held right by the coast “Sceptic Simon” agreed to come along, not to attend any workshops or lectures, but to go out and about with his beloved camera taking some landscape shots with his new filters. So, we were two very happy bunnies, full of excitement looking forward to the weekend.

I rang the venue to ask if there was a program as my friends and I wondered if we had to book any of the workshops, but I was told that no-one knows the events until the day they arrive. Goodness, I thought, they must be mega organised! We where aiming to arrive at about 3:30pm and our timing was spot on. We were given the keys to our ‘chalet’ and directions, but as we walked through the car park my heart began to sink when I saw the rows and rows of ‘chalets’ – Hi di Hi couldn’t help but come to mind. Our room was a double …. just … it was so small, and the bathroom was something out of the ark, it was what I would call VERY basic! It was not what I had expected, but then it’s not what you expect that makes life richer!

I was keen to look at the programme and we couldn’t help but laugh when the saw the evening entertainment billed as Scott Paige and his High Octaine Show-Team. Seriously, I felt like we were in a time warp and we had unknowingly been time travelling back to the mid 60’s!

After the disappointment with our chalet we really didn’t expect much of the food, but have to say that it exceeded expectations. The service was great and the food, although plain, was well cooked and we certainly weren’t going to be starving. We were given a table number and had to sit at the same table for the whole time. We were sat opposite two women, Julie and her aunt Sylvia. Julie was a florist by trade, with a very dry sense of humour and a houseful of assorted rescued pets with rather strange names. Sylvia had a very fast mind, was great company and relayed some very amusing spiritually based stories. They were both real characters with great personalities and we felt we were so lucky to sit opposite them.

The first evening there was a medley of mediums demonstrating until 10pm. I hadn’t heard of them before, but I gather they are quite well-known. I must say that the evidence that was brought through by Philip Solomon was amazing. He was giving people not just names and memorable dates but addresses as well. I can’t say I agreed with everything he said about his beliefs on spiritual matters, but he did say that we all have our own views and that we must respect that. I was really pleased because even Sceptic Simon was marginally impressed, and that is quite something!

Simon toddled off on the first morning to go and take some pics and I stayed with my friend Annette as we were working out which lectures or workshops to attend. The problem seemed to be that there were never enough chairs in the rooms and they kept moving who was working where, which is quite confusing when there are about five hundred people all trying to find their way about. I wasn’t too worried about missing any of the workshops as I hadn’t heard of the tutors before, but one person I particularly wanted to see was Jay Love.

I had met Jay several years before, when as students at the Arthur Findlay College in Stanstead we had discussed our spiritual development. So many of our experiences had been shared it was quite uncanny. He struck me then as a real down to earth kind of chap. He was a gentle soul with kind eyes and had a wicked sense of humour. He didn’t take himself too seriously, although it was obvious how much he respected spirit. I had never forgotten him and a few months ago had found him on the internet and we had been in contact via Facebook, where I had learnt that his development had led him to physical mediumship and he was now able to bring through spirit using transfiguration.

For those who don’t know about this form of mediumship, it is when the medium goes into trance and spirits communicate and also temporarily materialise, usually over the mediums face, by utilising a form of energy that it is believed the medium manufactures within themselves. It is rare to be able to see this first hand.

I had desperately wanted to see Jay demonstrate his physical mediumship, but as we arrived at the designated room we were told we would need to bring our own chairs and bluntly told by the lady on the door that she would be locking the door in one minute. This didn’t give us enough time to go and get the chairs so we ended up in another room seeing a lecture about ghost pictures!

Most of Saturday I saw various people do various things, nothing that I found totally astounding, it was ok, but I was deeply disappointed not to have seen Jay. Having said all that though there was certainly a good mixture of differing disciplines for you to take a look at, everything from pure spiritual communication to paranormal investigation to tarot, to sand box readings. The choice was quite amazing.

In the late afternoon Annette and I found ourselves at a bit of a loose end and, almost by accident, found ourselves in a lecture about animal communication, which we weren’t planning to attend. As we walked in there were two pictures on a board. One was a very nice looking cat and the other looked like my old dog Sam. I even said to Annette “goodness, that looks just like Sam”. We sat down and began listening and much to my surprise the lady, who was actually a medium, explained that she had only just drawn the pictures and these two animals wanted to communicate with their owners. It wasn’t at all what I had expected. Several people tried to accept information about the cat, who was a tabby called Tigger, but eventually the information given narrowed it down to one particular lady in the audience and she was given the picture.

Then the medium, Raye Edwina Brown, started to talk about the dog. She said that his name was Sam! My hand shot up immediately. She explained that in his old age his back legs had given way and he had to be put to sleep, but that this happened at home. That was exactly what had happened to Sam. She said it was literally only a few days before he died that this had started, which was true, as Sam’s back legs gave out on a Friday and I called the vet on Monday as he couldn’t stand up. She even gave the date of the year he was born. I was so chuffed. He sent me his love and told me that he was pleased that I had so much freedom in my life now. I was called to the front to collect my picture. I waited until everyone had left and went over to thank Raye and she took a photo of me with the picture of Sam and said she is going to put it in her magazine!

This had made my weekend, I didn’t really expect very much more. I had loved Sam so much and felt so lucky that he had come through. I had given communication from animals to people in readings in the past and had seen their delight, and now I knew exactly how they felt.

The evening was not so good. To me, the mediums were more interested in being entertainers than mediums and I did feel on a few occasions that they were not respectful to either the spirits or the audience. I watched three of them and decided I would rather go back to the cold chalet than sit and watch anymore. I was so annoyed that it was typical that Simon was there, and this did nothing to improve his belief in anything spiritual!

On Sunday I had already decided that I wanted to go home. I was cold, uncomfortable, fed up with all the last-minute changes and to be honest the mediumship the night before had really made me question so much that I felt quite unsettled. I did though want to have the opportunity to see Jay give a demonstration and on the program it stated that he would be in the Lounge giving a mental mediumship and spirit guides talk at 11:30am, so I thought we’d go home after that. Annette and I were heading for the lounge when I saw Jay walking away from there, I stopped him and asked where his lecture was going to be. He told me it was going to be in the Games Room and that there should be enough chairs. So, we headed off there, found Jay, but again no chairs! Annette went out and found some patio chairs to sit on and we sat expecting a mental mediumship talk. We were so lucky as Jay was planning to give another demonstration of his transfiguration gifts. The whole experience was nothing short of phenomenal. Jay gave a really good talk beforehand, quite thought-provoking, and then his trance guide arrived and introduced himself. He was nothing at all like Jay, although he did share a sense of humour. The transfiguration was just mind-blowing. Grown men and women were obviously emotional at communicating with their loved ones in spirit and being able to see their faces materialise over Jay’s face. What an amazing gift he has!

We left just after lunch and were home in the light, turned the heating up and enjoyed sitting on a comfy sofa!

Annette told me that the last night had been the best evening and it had been a shame I had missed it. Jay had demonstrated his mediumship abilities and she said his evidence was brilliant. An Irish medium, Sharon Neill, had given evidence that a member of the audience had waited over fifty years to hear and Annette said everyone in the audience had felt extremely emotional. She told me that Sharon had then finished by singing The Power of Love which she said was sung beautifully. It did seem like I missed out, but then I was needed by a friend first thing this morning, so I was pleased I was at home and able to help her.

It was an interesting weekend with mega highs and too many lows. Am I pleased I went? Yes. Sam coming through and Jay’s demonstration were the highlights of my weekend. Two fantastic experiences that I know I will never forget. Just such a shame that it hadn’t been a little more comfortable and a little more organised!

We all think we are right! It’s so true. We all think we are right because we see everything from our perspective. It is how we are. We often find great difficulty in looking at a situation from someone elses point of view. It is very challenging to try to put yourself in someone elses shoes, to look at the world the way they see it. I feel it is impossible, even no matter how hard we try, to truly appreciate what someone is going through, to actually feel their joy, their pain, their concerns. And yet, even though we can never completely understand what it is like to be someone else, we somehow feel we have the right to judge them.

Many of us make judgements about people’s physical appearance. We make comments about their choice of clothes, hairstyle, weight etc. Even if we don’t verbalise what we are thinking, most of us do still think it. How many times have you seen someone and within a millisecond a thought rushes through your head about how that person looks? It is a habit that is so easy to get into. Even worse we think we know how to dress them better than themselves! How can we always be so sure? I might never ever in a million years wear a pink leather mini-skirt with high heels and wear bright red lipstick – but who says that I am right? My choice in clothes most probably looks as dull as dishwater to someone else.

Have you met a friend’s partner and immediately made a snap judgement about them? Just a look, just one word, or the way they dress can be enough for your brain to warp into judgement mode. Even the way someone speaks, their accent, can lead us to make sweeping judgements that could be totally wrong!

Our magazines and newspapers are full of judgements about people in the public eye. Reporters judge everything about people: their lives, their love lives, finances, children, homes, even their political views. Unfortunately it is rarely objective, and usually biased to entice more readers to read all the latest gossip, no matter if the ‘victim’ is a pop singer, a politician or a member of the royal family. All appear to be fair game. Even countries are attacked in the press, their cultures, their traditions, their politics. It is felt that we are able to judge anyone/any country who/that does not do as we think they should, who does not comply with what we consider is normal or correct.

I enjoy listening to lively debates on the radio and it surprises me how often I change my mind as I carry on listening to different views. To begin with I am sure that Mr ‘A’ is making perfect sense, then Mr ‘B’ will chip in with his remarks and I start thinking, well, actually that really does make sense, then listening to Mr ‘A’ respond, I am once again seeing and appreciating his point of view. From listening to so many over the years I have come to the conclusion that it is very difficult to tell the right viewpoint from the wrong one. Even to the point where I wonder at times if there always is a right or a wrong one! It all depends from which angle you are looking at it. As an onlooker it can be almost impossible to make a decision of who is right, but if you are personally involved then it becomes even more difficult to be objective.

My husband had to complete jury service recently. Although he couldn’t discuss the case with me, I knew he was finding it very difficult to make a judgement about the ‘accused’. Some days he would come home and feel he had totally understood what had happened and would appear relaxed. On other days he would come home obviously agitated after further evidence had been submitted into court which threw a spanner in the works, and suddenly the case didn’t appear as black and white as it had a couple of days before. In the final days of the trial it was evident that Simon was really struggling. He is a fair-minded man and was so concerned that he would come to the wrong conclusion, that because of his judgement an innocent man may spend time in prison. Then he would be worried that if he judged the man innocent, and he was actually guilty, that he would be walking free in society, and what could be the possible consequences of that. After much debate the jury found the accused guilty and Simon said he was so pleased when his previous convictions were read out and he had carried out similar crimes several times before. He felt that they had come to the right decision. His relief when it was all over was amazing. The experience had really brought home the massive responsibility that there is in making judgements. Goodness knows how I’d ever cope if I had to sit on a jury!!

I do wonder what makes someone decide to commit a crime. I have no idea of the mindset or thought process that you would go through to plan to take part in something criminal. I avoid arguments and conflict as much as possible but it has crossed my mind whether someone decides to be abusive to someone else, either physically or verbally, or if it just happens, almost beyond their control. I do however know that I am extremely fortunate that I am not them, but somehow I used to think I had the right to judge them, not that I would normally tell others what I was thinking, but in my head I would be making judgements. What right did I possibly have to do that?

I was sitting quietly one day, thinking about what is right and what is wrong, when I received the following words from one of my writing guides.

Look kindly on your fellow-man

Do not judge too harshly

For where he walks you too may tread

And understand his pathway

Just a few lines, but I feel it is a such powerful message. I have had these words run through my mind so many many times over the years. When I catch myself making a judgement about someone, suddenly I’ll hear the words “Look kindly on your fellow-man, do not judge too harshly ….” I immediately try to consider where that person is in their life and always ask myself “Who am I to judge?” I cannot possibly imagine what made them make their choices about their lifestyle, their behaviour. I have not shared in their life and come to their conclusions. I try to accept others as they are, accept they have their own opinions and have their own roads to follow.

Of course I’m not talking about our formal legal systems, these have to be in place, and we accept that our society chooses people to make legal judgements. That is totally different to the judgements we all make that I am talking about here.

It also made me think about the soul choices we make we enter this incarnation. We can’t all choose to be kind and thoughtful or we would not be able to learn what is right and what is wrong, how to behave with care and generosity towards others. How tough it must be to live your life as one of those people who are always on the wrong side of our man-made laws. How tough to wake up in the morning and know in your heart that you have been cruel or mean. We can’t all be the same, we are all unique in almost every way and I say thank goodness for that. In our diversity we have literally hundreds of thousands of choices throughout our lives, and who should ever judge us for them? Only ourselves. My guides know that we are not saints, that we have our human foibles, that we will most likely always make judgements, I feel it is a rare person who never does. But, if you do find yourself judging, please just think of the words I received, and try not to be too harsh!