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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Back to work...

So Monday was my first day back to work. I would say that I'm super sad and missing Noah but I can't - YET. See, hubsy is home now for two weeks with little man and since I work from home I can just walk downstairs and get my Noah fix any time I want. I'm hoping this two week pd will allow me to ease into not seeing him 24 hours a day. As much as I thought I would need a break from him after 9 straight weeks of Noah 24/7, I'm physically anxious when he's not here where I can see him anytime I please.

Case in point: Hubs took him to the store the other day and while I know he's perfectly safe with him and nothing is going to happen I was sooo anxious. Like hole in the pit of my stomach - couldn't concentrate - want to get in the car and drive to wherever they are to see him anxious. And when he was back all I wanted to do was sit and stare at his beautiful little cheeks! I just feel like I'm going to miss something while he's at daycare and that he'll become attached to our daycare provider instead of me. I know these are totally irrational thoughts but that doesn't stop me from having them.

I keep running thru our budget and trying to arrange it so that I can just quit my job and stay with him for the next 9 - 12 months but no matter how I slice it it won't work. We can either keep the house and eat or keep the house and have heat and electricity. We can't have the house, eat and pay utilities off of one salary:( And selling the house in this market is not a wise decision for us so...we're stuck. Little man goes to daycare in just over a week and i'm a wreck about it.

Anyone know of any college kids in NoVa that want to nanny for cheap??:)