A Gas: Bessie and Bossie in trouble

So in an effort to combat “climate change” a newly enacted California law aims to control such things as methane emission from landfills and cows. The landfill gas control I get. The law also gives the Air Resources Board the power to regulate cow flatulence, according to the Associated Press. Yep. You read it right. Cow flatulence.

Now this is not some Hollywood-inspired fantasy or the ravings of a lovable yet slightly warped newspaper columnist. This is a fact, brought about by the action of the Legislature of the nation’s most populous state.

So with all problems in the world; terrorism, hunger, the proliferation of nuclear weapons in the hands of rogue states, the Kardashians on every stinkin’ channel and the possibility of an errant asteroid striking the earth and ending it all, who knew that the wheels of Western Civilization would come to a grinding halt because of cow poots?

Other than the obvious WTH reaction, this lunacy has real world ramifications. Guess where the country gets most of its milk and dairy products? Since 1993 it’s been California, when the Golden State eclipsed Wisconsin in the Top Spot, according to the California Dairy Board. California is ranked first in production of total milk, butter, ice cream, nonfat dry milk and whey protein concentrate.

Dairy farming is the leading agricultural commodity in California producing $7.6 billion, yep that’s billion with a “B”, in annual retail sales in 2014. There are more than 1.78 million milk cows in California, or one out of every five dairy cows in America.

Any effort to control bovine flatulence will mean more regulation, more state inspectors and more guvmint intervention in private enterprise. That means production costs increase and you and I are hit in the wallet at the checkout line.

Annnddd, how would you like to be one of those inspectors? Never should the term “cow poot catcher” appear on anyone’s resume.

But as usual, I digress. Let’s get back to the milk, er… meat of the matter. The dairy producers are fighting back, I hope they cream the politicians. Of course there’s Gov. Jerry Brown, mugging for the media with a big cheesy grin.

The catchphrase of the state’s dairy board is “Happy Cows Come From California.” Welp, apparently not anymore.