PIRANHA 3D HAS A TRAILER

Piranha 3D had its release date pushed back to August because of money problems at The Weinstein Company, but despite reports saying they might not be able to afford 3D, the trailer still says “Piranha 3D.” It’s pretty much what you’d expect — tits, piranhas, Christopher Lloyd, etc. — it basically writes itself. The plot is that everyone, even Eli Roth, has come out for a wild time at Spring Break at Lake Victoria, except *record snatch* it’s filled with piranhas. “Lake Victoria” is an odd choice, because the only Lake Victoria I know of is in Africa, which, as I read in National Geographic for Xenophobes, isn’t so much a Spring Break destination as it is a rape destination, or a parasites crawling up your pee hole destination. Now that I think about it, that actually does sound like Spring Break.

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Piranhas? That’s not scary. My spring break at Lake Victor Victoria, now that was scary.

By: Erswi

01.21.2010 @ 10:13 AM

Aaaaaaand the vid is down.

By: Mark It Zero

01.21.2010 @ 10:15 AM

Aaaaaaand my erection with it.

By: Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ

01.21.2010 @ 10:17 AM

OK, who went swimming on their period?

By: Mark It Zero

01.21.2010 @ 10:22 AM

Eli Roth with the mini bat he got on mini bat night at Fenway, up to his waist in water and hopped up on PCP just bashing those tiny little fuckers or GTFO.

By: Erswi

01.21.2010 @ 10:50 AM

Here’s my primary dilemma with movies of this type (i.e. Pirahna, Jaws, Lake Placid et al). The basic conflict of the plot is driven by the natural vs. the un-natural. That is to say that for your typical killer aquatic creature the water is its natural habitat while for humans, be they spring breakers, summer vacation village sherriffs, or foul mouthed Betty Whites, the act of being in the water is an atypical state of existence. As land dwellers human beings must come to grips with the limits of their domain over the earth (Biblically speaking) and come to the realization that when an un-natural state of being is linked causatively to our mortality there is but one response which will satisfy our need for preservation of life . . .

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE FUCKING WATER YOU FUCKING MORONS!!!!

By: droidguy1119

01.21.2010 @ 10:50 AM

The video worked for me. But it’s clearly a cam. The trailer was attached to Avatar. Reports that the movie might not get the 3D treatment after all surfaced later.

If Weinstein Co. post the trailer for real, it may or may not say 3D.

By: Donkey Hodey

01.21.2010 @ 10:50 AM

This is the lower-concept version of that vagina dentata movie they did.

By: Mark It Zero

01.21.2010 @ 10:55 AM

The crocodile from Lake Placid could come out of the water, Erswi. Jeez, you sound like a buffoon.

By: Erswi

01.21.2010 @ 11:04 AM

Twilup.

By: Erswi

01.21.2010 @ 11:05 AM

Oh yeah! Some fucker actually sat down at his ‘puter and rewrote Pirahna and I sound like a buffoon?