Sunday, January 30, 2011

i am always late. i know it really bothers people and suggests that i think my time is more valuable than theirs. but that is not the case. i don't do it to be rude or selfish, and i am not an inconsiderate person. i am just flawed. i'll try harder.

Friday, January 28, 2011

nothing profound. it's like a band that never thinks they'll be famous so they give the band a wretched name. that is not to say that i ever thought this blog would be famous - or read for that matter - i just didn't put a lot of thought into it.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

1. Since I was 8 years old, I have had an obsession with Barney Clark.2. When I was in middle school, I wrote in my Learning Log about a family growing up during difficult times. In the opening paragraph, the grandmother (in the story) said, "Sit down and eat your grub." My teacher circled "grub" with a bright red pen and wrote 'GRUB? NOT A WORD.' I have never forgotten her. I am going to look her up one day.3. I've never seen Star Wars.4. I haven't drank Jameson whiskey in over a year.5. I live most intensely in my mind.6. I can't sleep even when I am exhausted.7. I have been blessed (and cursed) with an uncanny sense of intuition.8. I look for the best in people. I forgive too quickly. I see the good in people. I compromise too much.9. I am OCD. And I'm perfectly fine with that.10. I am obsessed with pebble ice.11. I still believe in true love. And I will until the day I die. Even if I never find it.12. I want to meet Dr. Phil. So bad. And not just shake hands, but talk to him. I think he's amazing.13. I never liked the Beatles.14. I think wit, sarcasm, and dry humor are three of the best qualities anyone can possess.15. I know good people when I meet them. I love good people. Honest people.

Monday, January 24, 2011

I was lamenting about my neglected blog when I saw this little project on my friend Erin's blog. It inspired me! I am going to do it, if for no other reason than to start writing more. So, yes I am a copy cat and you should be too!

Here is what you can expect for the next 30 days:

day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourselfday 2- the meaning behind your blog nameday 3- a picture of you and your friendsday 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t haveday 5- a picture of somewhere you've beenday 6- favorite super hero and whyday 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on youday 8- short term goals for this month and whyday 9- something you're proud of in the past few daysday 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, madday 11- another picture of you and your friendsday 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have oneday 13- a letter to someone who has hurt you recentlyday 14- a picture of you and your familyday 15- put you ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that playday 16- another picture of yourselfday 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and whyday 18- plans/dreams/goals you haveday 19- nicknames you have and why you have themday 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the futureday 21- a picture of something that makes you happyday 22- what makes you different from everyone elseday 23- something you crave for a lotday 24- a letter to your parentsday 25- what I would find in your bagday 26- what do you think about your friendsday 27- why are you doing this 30 day challengeday 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?day 29- in this past month, what have you learnedday 30- your favorite song

Monday, January 3, 2011

from the second i gave birth to both of my daughters, i was spell bound.

suddenly, there is no need for nutrition or sleep. nothing outside of the hospital room matters. there is no want for anything but to hold and love this perfect, tiny, amazing human being. hours and hours are spent watching them sleep.

she's been in this world for 4 minutes.

she's been in the world for 6 hours.

she's only been here for 2 days.

she's perfect.

my first baby girl was born 14 years ago. my second baby girl was born 9 weeks ago. each experience was totally different in every aspect ... EVERY aspect. but i am so in love with both of them that it actually makes my heart ache.

she's been on this earth for 14 years.

she's been here for 9 weeks.

they are perfect.

and yet along with all this perfection and happiness there is real life. and while i've been blissfully consumed with a newborn, reality has been tapping me on the shoulder as if to warn me that life is piling up and when the dam breaks ... there is going to be a lot of upstream paddling involved.

we'll never be the family in matching shirts at Disneyland. we'll never be on time. there will always be expired milk in the fridge. we'll never follow all the rules. there won't be a lot of baking happening in our house. Christmas cards will always be sent out in february. rent will always be late. and one of us will always have a mysterious rash or illness. but at the end of the day, my girls will know that they are loved, safe and perfect. they will know that nothing is more important than the truth. they will know kindness and gratitude.

we'll live with the unexpected. we'll dream about summer homes in mexico. we'll burn frozen pizzas. we'll sleep through school when it snows. we'll laugh at each other. we'll follow our hearts. we'll make really stupid mistakes. we'll fight. we'll pull nana's wig off. we'll have too much to drink. we'll forget our coats. we may not even shower for days at a time. we will live with a lot of forgiveness and a little bit of profanity. it might not make sense to others, but it is, truly, the beautiful disaster that is my life.