Tag: thai girlfriend experience

With this post I want to talk about some of the reasons Farang men end up with a bad Thai Girlfriend and it may not be quite what you are thinking.

Now I must warn you before you read this post because I will touch on some deep and sensitive issues about not just why western men get a bad Thai girlfriend but something deeper about the human psychology involved in that….. and it may touch a nerve or two!

Now just let me say that some of you may find this difficult to read…..but my purpose is not to hurt or upset you. My purpose is to help you see that what has happened to you also has reasons within you. And I want to help you face it accept it understand it and then move on from it to a better place…a place where you may finally find real love but at the very least a sense of release within yourself.

Many of you reading this may have had a relationship with a Thai girlfriend and have had a bad experience

You see I don’t like to upset people or argue with negative thinking and attitudes but sometimes to help ourselves we first must face some truth about ourselves and that is not always comfortable. Many of you reading this may have had a relationship with a Thai girlfriend and have had a bad experience, some of you may have even been married and it all ended badly. Some of you maybe just thinking about getting a Thai girlfriend or just starting a relationship with a Thai girl and in that case I want you to be clear on what you are getting involved with.

Now its up to you if you choose to ignore or dismiss these things….if you do then it means you will just continue with how things are. But if you want to move on finally..if you want to release yourself from your own pain, sadness, bitterness or even anger then just have a little faith and belief and think about what I say here.

There is nobody just controlling your life and making decisions for you without you having anything to do with it

You see to change anything about our life we must first change our thinking because what we are is in fact what we think. Life does not just happen to us……..there is nobody just controlling your life and making decisions for you without you having anything to do with it. We all create the life we live, whether consciously or subconsciously.

So let me ask you how do you think you came to attract this situation into your life? What do you think caused this to happen to you?

What would you say if the answer is You!

Maybe you believe it was just bad luck but do you really want to believe it was just bad luck…..wouldn’t that just be an easy excuse to not take responsibility for your own actions? Think about this for a moment…When you create something good in your life you like to feel good about yourself…you like to tell people what a great decision you made and you feel proud to tell….but nobody likes to admit they made a mistake do they? We don’t like to admit that at all.

Can you really just blame Thai women? Did anyone force you to get involved with her?

So if you went to Thailand and met a Thai girl and she turned out to be not the love of your life after all and just a cheap bar girl, or even not a bar girl but just someone who was not really genuine who do you think is really to blame. Can you really just blame Thai women? Did anyone force you to get involved with that woman. What did you go to Thailand for in the first place and where did you go to meet that kind of woman. And if you have only been dealing with your Thai girlfriend online then how much do you really know about her and did you bother to find out?

You see we often only want to believe what we want to believe and see what we want to see. Maybe you, just like many western men really fell in love with the mystical and exotic Thai look and dream of having a young and beautiful Thai girlfriend who can become your wife and soulmate. You know that is hard to find in the West and so when you have the opportunity you just cannot help yourself. Or maybe you went to Thailand for some fun and love so easy with a Thai girl. But how can you tell what type of girl she really is? Maybe you don’t want to believe she is a bad Thai girl and so you choose not to see it, even though it is in fact quite clear what she is and what she wants from you.

I have seen this so many times Farang men get a Thai Girlfriend or a Thai wife and she does not turn out to be genuine or their soul mate and they then complain afterwards about all Thai women being bad.

I have also even heard many talk about Buddhism and how can these their Thai girlfriends do that to us when it is supposed to be a Buddhist country? Well the truth is that before you ask that question you must first understand Buddhism properly. Buddhism is not about avoiding pain and suffering. Buddhism is about acceptance of pain and suffering and the ability to rise above it, to transcend it. Being Thai also does not automatic make you a good Buddhist either.

Someone very close to me said this recently and I want to share it with you:

He said when the western man stands up and says “look I went to Thailand with having a bit of fun in my mind. The girls are so pretty and sure I fell easy for one. I know what they say but I couldn’t help myself and my ego got the better of me. I thought she might change or something. I spent all my cash on her and she asked for more, which I kept giving her because she was so nice. Basically I messed up and let my desire rule my brain and now I learned my lesson. I can’t blame Thai women because it was really down to me” When that man stands up I will shake his hand and say well done mate I think now you might be ready to find a good woman.

This is a very direct perspective and you might guess he is western…haha..no greng jai there but I do agree with it because it is about taking responsibility for your actions. Not hiding from the truth and trying to blame mistakes on other things or people. Yes others are involved but we all have choice and to believe you have no choice only makes you a victim of yourself.

so my friends I will leave you with that now. I want you just to think about that for a while. I will follow up on this post soon but for now I think it says enough. I sincerely hope that if you have a Thai Girlfriend or are thinking about one or have one online although sensitive this post will help you in the long run.

For me I believe Bangkok is a soft City but here is why….

You know I have been in Bangkok now for just over 3 months and this is my third visit to this City. I don’t profess to be any kind of expert but being married to a Thai woman like Angella and as writer and Artist trained in the art of observation along with my travel experiences and background I think I can form valid observations and insights fairly quickly.

I know there are many of you who have been here a lot longer than I have and may have a different view point but I can only tell it from what I see and experience for myself.

And so far my impressions of Bangkok is that it is a soft City.

Let me clarify that this is a positive thing because what I mean about this is that it is not an angry City. Recently we were having coffee with a Swedish friend over at Starbucks at Ari Station and both he and I agreed that Bangkok is not a harsh City. You don’t feel threatened with your personal safety like in other cities.

For me I grew up in England only a few miles out of South London and can honestly say they are worlds apart as Cities go. That was 20 years ago and since then I have lived in Perth Western Australia which is also a much more relaxed and safer place than London even though over the 20 years I have been there I have seen the sense of safety eroded as sadly I have to say more and more English settle there. But Bkk even in comparison to Perth feels much safer

Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming the English entirely, but as an Englishman I know our culture very well and we do seem to bring with us a certain aggressiveness wherever we go. Current writer excepted of course..(lol)

English are not the only ones with aggressive tendencies when we live in close proximity to each other

So when I compare that to Bangkok I do believe it is a softer city. I have just not seen the displays of aggressiveness, rudeness and indifference that I am used to. Even in other Cities around the world as our Swedish friend will attest to coming from Stockholm and having lived in Bangkok for nearly 10 years. It seems we English are not the only ones with aggressive tendencies when we live in close proximity to each other.

So what about Bangkok then, why does it appear so soft?

Well firstly to every positive there is a negative and as our friend commented and as I am also aware there is a negative underside to Bangkok. You can just as easily get stabbed, mugged or beaten up as in London if you look for it by placing yourself in those places and situations. But what we identified was that it is the Thai culture of passive show that is one of the big reasons for this soft impression along with of course the strong Buddhist culture which promotes passive kindness.

You might upset a Thai but they will not show you aggression or reaction there and then

What our friend explained to me was that you might well upset a Thai but they will not show you any real aggression or reaction there and then. It is simply not their style to do that. It is not accepted and it is not their way…the famous saying of Greng Jai comes into play here also. But beware, because no sooner have you forgotten all about the incident when you will be confronted by their reaction…maybe in a quite alley somewhere or by some other means.

So this means that although Thais do not show too much reaction and aggression as as say the English will it does not mean they will just let it go. But it does seem that unprovoked displays of aggression or personal attacks are not as commonplace as many of our Western Cities and towns. To me it simply does not seem that Thais go looking for trouble and are much more willing to avoid confrontation, especially in public.

No sign of any trouble as we walked along the highstreet to get a taxi

I am reminded of New Years even which we spent with family at Central World in the middle of Bangkok. Apart from the lovely relaxed mood all evening there was also no sign of any trouble as we walked along the highstreet to get a taxi. Granted there was a lot of Police around but this would also be the case in Perth and London but you would still see trouble.

I feel that Buddhist culture seems to equip them with a higher level of tolerance and patience as can be seen by the driving and road behavior. I swear that if we put some of these antics back in Australia there would be all sorts of carnage on the roads and not caused by car crashes.

I never feel threatened or under any sort of pressure

So this is one of the reasons I have very quickly fallen in love with the place. As a farang I am aware as we all are of how many curious looks and stares we get especially if like me we inhabit areas mostly inhabited by Thai people. Sometimes I feel like an exhibit piece walking down our Soi. But I never feel threatened or under any sort of pressure, even when on occasion I have walked back very late at night from watching Soccer at one of the local beer houses.

There seems to be much more connection between people here also. Not the cold alloofness you experience in London and not the indifference displayed in many other Cities. Here they will actually acknowledge you if they have seen you before, even for me a Farang who they cannot really talk to I am warmed by their friendly attention and politeness.