Ever wonder where people get those arcane thesis topics?

You know the kind; the topics themselves are beyond comprehension
by mere mortals and the scholar just takes it one step farther by
using so many 50¢ words that you have zero chance of understanding
what is going on.

In fact, there is so much obfuscation involved in the average dissertation
topic, that we felt that we should join the fun! And we invite you to
do the same; see below for details.

The Game...

The current starting point:

Two words:

asymptotic

ilk

The object:

Craft a make-believe dissertation topic with the highest
possible syllable-to-word ratio (an SWR of at least 3). The
simple statement "I am" has an SWR of 2:2, which
reduces to 1. Definitely not dissertation material.

The rules:

Begin with 2-3 words or a phrase (preferrably from a public
source; e.g., NPR).

Any participant can add words or phrases.

Participants can change or remove articles, prepositions, conjunctions,
etc., but will not remove key words like "antidisestablishmentarianism".

We are finished when we run out of ideas and/or when the topic sentence seems to
have run its course.

Most importantly: The statement must be intelligible. In other words, you
simply cannot string a series of unrelated words together. It actually must
mean something.

Past Dissertation Topics:

Starting Point:

two words: asymptotic & ilk

Topic Sentence:

asymptotic relationships between antidisestablishmentarianism
and partisan complacency: the ilk of the obfuscatory political
campaign with reference to the symbiotic orientation of
liberalism and conservatism -- gutteral utterances of manifest
destiny -- electoral promises analagous to a meniscus -- ostensibly
adhering to the rigidity of the populist structure while obscuring
the veritable concavity within.

SWR

137:50 (reduces to 2.74)

Starting Point:

"a post-modern cultural meta-story" - NPR

Topic Sentence:

rhetorical vs compulsory proactive electoral abstention derived
from a post-modern cultural meta-story with respect to the
implementation efficacy of populist and totalitarian government
in an evolving dominant global society over the post-cold-war era.