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Love and pain go together, period!

Cupcakes?

Awoke to a phone call this morning, I’ll call it a friendly wake up call, and it was perfect timing, without it I certainly would have been late. But, as I was talking to to her I realized that I had been woken from a dream, a dream that was taking place at a `Cupcake Festival’. Yup, you heard me correctly, a cupcake festival. I have never heard of one before but there we were, strolling up and down the isles, each table had different cupcakes made and designed by the person at the table, and each one different than the next. There were cupcakes with powdered sugar, different frosting’s, different icings, some had characters on them, like there was a table that had Gumby and Pokey designs in the icings. There were others that had Snow White figures stuck into the cupcake, some were shaped like apples, others oranges, and each cupcake was a different color! There was even one shaped like a kiwi fruit!
As we were walking through I realized that my lady was very interested in how they were made, what kind of flour’s were being used to create the different textures of the cupcakes. She would get into lengthy conversations about them, their style, were they using a muffin tin, or paper or aluminum cup holders. I was listening to someone tell her that they actually hung their cupcakes upside down while baking so that all of the `goodness’ did not sink to the bottom. as she was interested in the how, I was very interested in the different icings, actually running my finger through the different ones to see how they tasted and giving the creator my approval, or in some cases not. I would try different icings at the same time to create different flavors on my finger and give the cupcake chiefs different ideas for them to use…
Then, the phone rang and I awoke to my baby’s voice saying `good morning…’

My writings all started due to a love that I had and lost and by one that was being created that I will never have, and of course there is the one that has always been there that I need to say goodbye to, a n d the one that I so want to be with, it hurts me not to be.
It contains language that is not suitable for everyone so beware of that fact when you read this. Yes, I tend to curse a lot, and yes I get abusive in my words and yes I tend to write in poetic form, sort of.
Understand that I was hurting badly when I started this and when that happens whatever gets said is out of pain and frustration… mine, not yours.
I also write about myself, my feelings, emotions, hardships, health, and happiness, if any ever shows up again. My hope is that I don’t offend anyone, even though I know I will.
Remember that all of this is about my life, in my words, and my feelings, and how good and bad it gets during love and breaking up, and living life.

What do you want from freedom?

I want to be able to speak the truth always

I want from it the freedom to never have to hide from anything or anyone

I want to be able to speak freely without having to pre think what I am about to say

I want to be able to respond with truth to whatever is said to me even if it is hard on the other person to understand…

It should give me the ability to explain myself if am misunderstood, cry if I feel the need, love when the time is right, and never, ever fear the person I love