I am forever blue,
Just like the sky,
All the rain that falls on you,
Is how I feel when I cry.
I am deep blue like the sea,
Barely breathing beneath the waves,
How lonely can one be?,
There's nothing left here to save.
This feeling is not once in a blue moon,
It lasts all day and night,
It's as deep as a blue lagoon,
With no end in sight.
The frosty air is so cold,
On this blue December night,
Here is what my future holds,
And I know it isn't right.
My whole life has been so blue,
With so many turns like a river,
The water is so cold now, too,
It makes me really shiver.
My future is so blue,
And this is my only end,
I want to tell you, I love you,
Because you're my only friend.

I’m sick of this world
Sick to the core
And I can’t forgive
Or pretend anymore
I smile but I’m crying
I am through being kind
I hate people playing
Around with my mind
I know I’m naive
I know I’m a fool
But it’s hard to see
How you can be cruel
You just carry on
Pretend I’m ok
When all that I want
Is to end this day
I just want to hide
I want to break free
From all who torment
And who torture me
I’ve just had enough
Enough of these tears
Enough of this life
Enough of these fears
It’s just too damn hard
To get it all right
To deal with this hurt
To sleep through the night
My heart is broken
This isn't a joke
I guess it happened
From all that you spoke
You didn't say sorry
You just walked away
You think I’m a stone…
Or some game to play
I’m heaving with sobs
I struggle, and cry
Try to understand
Your sick reason why
Want to crawl in bed
And lock myself in
What you’ve done to me
Is surely a sin
I’m sick, I’m alone
You’ve gouged out my heart
Go and now and sleep tight
While I fall apart.
Eileen Manassian Ghali

Lightning flashes and the rain falls
as the storm rages on tonight,
the family is so worried about you
and wanting to know you're alright.
Late, last Sunday afternoon
you tried to take your own life,
twice with the same medication
that was supposed to end your strife.
You were taken away and we don't
even know where you are right now,
but everyone is just hoping
that you can comeback somehow.
What ever happened to you,
that caring person you once were,
who could always make me laugh
oh, how I do remember her.
You took care of me when
I needed someone to be there,
so many good memories flash back
of the fun times we would share.
We are all still wondering why
you are suffering in depression,
and how could you ever hurt us
with such unexpected aggression.
You left your teenage son
alone in a state of panic and fear,
now we can only wish and wait
for some kind of real cure.
I wrote this after my aunt tried to commit suicide last Sunday, June 15th.
Thankfully, she was not successful. She has been struggling with depression
for about 10 years and this is the worst state that we've ever seen her in.
Our family and the doctors keep trying to help her, but nothing has worked yet.
So, we will have to wait and see where things go from here, as we still have no
word on her current condition.
We are not a religious family, but it might help if you could send out your
positive thoughts, and maybe keep us in your prayers during this difficult
and confusing time.

What was going through your head
When you decided to end your life
Did you consider your love ones at all
Leaving behind your sons and wife
Failing to show up for work on Monday
Not calling or coming home that night
Leaving your family frantic and scared
So cruel of you to leave them in this plight
You were reported missing to the police
Your car found on Tuesday near Niagara Falls
Witnesses seen you jump in the icy waters
Just thinking about it.....my skin crawls
Three weeks later, your body still not found
Your wife is still struggling to stay strong
Posting pictures of you in happier times
Sorrow you left behind will be lifelong
Now your boys will grow up fatherless
Never understanding the reason why
Damage done to them emotionally
Tears of confusion and anguish as they cry
A small community remains shell shocked
The awfulness of it all is so hard to digest
The reasons why we'll never truly know
May your tormented soul now be at rest
12/ 09/ 2013
*A sad and true story, his children are in my son's school.

"Depression"
From the darkness of my soul I rise
To this life's putrid lies
As morning light beckons
My weary mind awakens
Although the sun is bright
Where all you see is light
My day is shining dark
I cannot find a spark
My heart is heavy as I wash n dress
All manner to impress
With shirt and tie
Bright lips and eyes
Hiding my sorrow deep within
Departing souls my only kin
My eyes so bright you'll never know
Your joy has become my foe
And when my eyes are teared
For nothing to be feared
You wonder why I cry
You walk away and sigh
A friend indeed is all I need
To share compassion's seed
Hold my hand in darkest times
Help me once again to hear the chimes
For I am want to die
But truly this is just a lie
For all I really crave
Is someone save me from my grave
From the darkness of my soul I rise
Yet another day for me to despise
I take the blade and contemplate
Who decides upon my fate

Pain, Pain, Pain
Carly Button
Sit up in his bed and breaks the alarm
blood flows to the brain and he tries to stay calm
but the pain doesn't go away that quick in the morning
even on the inside the rain begins pouring
and the lights are off but they're on in the mind
Of the man who devoted two years to a lie
On his face he feels every kiss, knows every line
Bruises on a heart that has grown smaller than mine
Eyes that dance with memories hard to forget
Black spot on the white page of love and regret
No matter how hard he tries, they stay on his mind
Images of a happiness it took them years to find
Every kiss they stole under the midnight sun
Every time he looked at her and said “you’re the one”
Spun a dagger of pain that tore at his chest
Like a demon that had no reason to rest
She would be happier with him, he tried to think
He tossed away her picture and poured another drink
Who was he kidding, there was no life without her
His life was a disease, and there was only one cure
So he stepped on the chair with the rope on his neck
And wrote a letter to the girl that he could never forget
With hands behind his back and a soul done crushing
He said goodbye to a world that gave him absolutely nothing.

Dark of Night
In the dark of night I awaken
the nightmare comes again
In a cold sweat, head and heart racing
I know it will stop, but when?
my Brother! I scream out loud
oh God, he needs to be healed
found him with a gun in his mouth
suicide-it’s the real deal
again it must be the family curse
as for brothers-he’s number four
with three dead of booze and pills I didn’t think It could get worse
like their dying is settling some score
he didn’t show any fear
even when the gun went CLICK!
he was calm and his intention was clear
like in a scene from some movie clip
In an instant he would have be gone
and blood splattered all over the place
I’d be tormented by what went wrong
each time I remembered his face
locked away in a place he can’t get away from
he’s struggling, he says he’s had enough
battered and weathered by a violent storm
wading through it is going to be tough
at 55, he almost died by his hand
God spared my brothers’ life
but he’s still a broken, suffering man
who cries in the dark of night
-8-8-14

My days pass by without much change
the loneliness my friend
Each day I try to rearrange
but fate it wins again
I try to hide behind a smile
pretending all is well
My mind it tells me I am vile
then struggles to dispel
I feel I am a prisoner
oh how do I get free?
The cartridge in the cylinder
a fitting choice for me