The cheat sheet: Your guide to the Liberal Democrat conference

•Villain of the day Cabinet secretary Sir Gus O'Donnell in distant Whitehall. Why so? Because several quangos (NDPBs in the jargon) had to pull out of Lib Dem fringe meetings at the last minute as a result of GO'D's memo telling them they had to seek official permission before attending party conferences. "It's their own fault. We told them in January and reminded them in June," say sources close to GO'D.

•Hero of the day Can't we pu-lee-se have someone other than Vince Cable? No, we can't. It was Vince's big day and his speech on the economy was more leftwing than we will hear from Labour's platform in Brighton next week. So weighty in fact that the packed hall gave him less than euphoric applause. Nick Clegg will be relieved.

•Super-salesman's quote of the day "It's been pioneered in Switzerland" – Chris Huhne MP on plans to give heroin on prescription to addicts.

•Most immodest overheard boast "I don't know what Russell [Brand] said to her, but she's a smart, intelligent woman who wants to be respected, not patronised." Lib Dem lothario Lemsip – sorry Lembit – Opik MP on how he beat the loudmouth TV celeb to a date.

•Pointless bureaucracy prize There are 20 different colour-coded badges for those attending this year's conference. Woe betide any volunteer steward who lets a local school or a visiting ambassador in on the wrong day (or entrance).

• Miaow of the day "If they have that TV debate between the three party leaders it had better be on a night when Nick [Clegg] doesn't have to put the kids to bed. Miriam [Clegg] is quite outspoken and expects him to do his share" – old MP friend.

• Off-message "We did look at this formally only six months ago and rejected a change. Personally, I don't think it is likely to change again" – ex-president Simon Hughes MP on Nick Clegg's plans to cut child benefit.

• While stocks last Yellow Lib Dem ties ("with bird logo") reduced from £13.50 to £9.99. But Alan Beith's memoirs are still at full price, a snip at £18.99.

• Fringe quote of the day "They did what we would have told them to do if they hadn't done it" – Equalities and Human Rights Commission chief Trevor Phillips on the BBC's sacking of Carol Thatcher for using the G-word. But surely, Trevor, Carol was a discriminated against minority too: a self-employed, older Tory woman working at the BBC? They didn't do it to Wossie.

• House price of the day No, not how much Buck House would have to contribute to Vince Cable's new "mansions tax" – £4m on some estimates – but does Cable's own mansion in fashionable Twickenham pass the £1m threshold? "It's just below," say Cable aides. So that's all right then.