This is the Rockboard Decender, a $120 skateboard deck with tank treads instead of wheels that can only be ridden down hills (unlike THIS badass mother). Don't have any hills around your house? GET THE F*** OUT OF THE MIDWEST. Trust me, you'll thank me for it later. Oooooooor come to my house and try to kill me. Expect a fight. Also, expect to win (I'm only good at shrieking and pulling hair).

Hit the jump for a video of the board in action. Me? I like to ride down hills the old-fashioned way: inside an old tractor trailer.