Wednesday, 20 January 2010

It was ten years ago this month that the ban was lifted on gay men and women serving in the British Armed Forces.

A year or two after that, I found myself at Leeds Castle in Kent invited by the Trustees for a weekend party to coincide with one of their celebrated outdoor concerts. And to any woman's delight there was already a handful of young naval officers in the Library when we arrived for drinks. They weren't in uniform but you can't have it all. One of them called Craig, who turned out to be particularly engaging and amusing, lost no time in directing my attention across the room to his partner. I was looking for a strappy dress, pashmina and sandals that would sink into the lawns but saw instead a gorgeous young man in a shirt and tie. That was Adam, a clinical psychologist. Flawless darling! Truly, it was a great moment to see that the enlightened new service culture could work like this.

The next day at lunch sitting on ivory-coloured spanish leather chairs in the glorious minty, sunny dining room, I was opposite Craig. I was trying to tell a story and as ever, stalled on a name. 'Oh damn, who's that fashion designer? The one in Paris, with a shaved head, lost a lot of weight lately.. erm.. uh..’ Craig came to my rescue and delivered this line with aplomb, ‘Alexander McQueen? … I can do warfare too, you know.’ Of course he could, he was a well-trained, talented officer with all the normal seagoing experience.

The dining room at Leeds Castle decorated by Stephane Boudin of the distinguished French firm Jansen.

So it turned out that Craig Jones, a Lt. Cdr, was the most senior openly gay serviceman. He worked tirelessly to support men and women of all three services in what could still be a difficult choice: to declare, or not to declare, their homosexuality. That contribution, together with his measured, tactful approach as a spokesman, was recognised by the award of an MBE. I joined him and Adam, family and chums for lunch at Claridges after the Buckingham Palace ceremony. There was a lot to celebrate.

At Times Onlinehere you will find a very good article about how our armed forces have accepted and integrated this vital element of diversity. The new law caused a bit of consternation at first but that soon settled down. Moreover, fears that it might compromise operational effectiveness were totally unfounded.

Trooper Ben Rakestrow, right, sits at his bedspace with friends in transit accommodation at Camp Bastion Photo from Times Online

Craig left the Royal Navy in 2008 and is now on the board of Barclays Wealth as Head of Diversity

23 comments:

Rose, tell that to the marines! The American Marines, that is. Would that kind of enlightened policy applied here too, where gay men and women are removed from the forces despite what they have to offer. I thank you for this, most sincerely. Barry

So civil and so right. It is one of a number of blights on the colonies-I am serious. A wonderful friendship found too. I do have hope that this will be a reality here some day-we forfeit some very dedicated and intelligent men and women. pgt

Not only does your far more enlightened country not discriminate against gays when it comes to military service, but it allows us folk to legally marry as well with equal recognition of such unions by the courts and taxation authorities. The US is woefully behind on this, locked in the grips of small-minded religious fundamentalists. Thanks for this marvelous post. But I can't decide what I like about it most -- the politics or the fact that you mention the Jansen-decorated Leed's Castle dining room and Buckingham Palace as locations!

As in many things, the brits are decades ahead. Living in DC, I know a number of closeted army personel....but my lips are sealed. Ridiculous that they have to hide who they are to serve their country so bravely.

AD This is a good moment to mention another friend, Richard Gough, who served with great distinction in a ship, HMS ARDENT, in the Falklands War and had to continue his career under the pressure of being discreet about his private life. Sadly the new legislation came too late for him. It breaks your heart to think of it. I am happy to say that he has gone on to a most impressive career in IT in Civvy St.

Rose, thank you for a post that is truly touching and yet – as usual –amusing. I was delighted to read in the Times article that Admiral Lord West gets credit for his enlightened thinking and contribution to driving the change through. And we all know that behind every great man is a great woman.

We appear to have taken another step back here in the US yesterday, paradoxically with the election of an anti Gay-marriage former naked boy in Massachusetts.Reggie is correct. Fundamentalism is Balkanizing the US, and it's difficult to see where it will end.At one point it was possible to think the zealots were too much at war with each other to do lasting harm, but now it seems they've temporarily closed ranks to act upon their mutual hatreds. Now it seems that holdovers from the Bush Dept. of Justice are paving the way to make war on physicians who perform abortions as well.Ultimately, you can probably pin these various idiocies on a criminally undereducated public, but there's also a will to violent behavior that places us in a league with much poorer, underresourced nations.

You would think that America, who made that cataclysmic break from England on the grounds of freedom from religion would have gotten this issue from the get go. That Ted Kennedy's seat would go to a fundamentalist nut is not a good thing or a good sign for America. Anyone who is willing to risk his or her life for one's country is a hero to me. What does sex have to do with it?

If anyone was tempted to doubt that there is a massive and inspired constituency of passionately tolerant citizens of the United States , here is the proof that it exists and I am proud to have their voices on my blog.rurritable, stand for Congress now! AAL.. thank you. (And tell me more of the Jansen/Leeds Castle connection please)Home, I agree that sexual orientation has nothing to do with the ability to serve one's country.

This post was staggeringly impressive, and so too the thoughtfulcomments upon it. I've spent the afternoon sending the link off tofriends~partly for the excellence of the writing and partly to introducethem to one of the internet's most surprising bloggers.

Oh Toby Worthington, that is most generous indeed. Thank you. I suddenly realised that if you pick a subject that really resonates then the comments will take it to another level. I've not experienced this before. It's quite marvellous.

Can I just add my tuppence worth? It was a very heartening story, but not one that seriously surprised me. I am indeed pleased to be British, and a benefactor of the change in the law in 2004, that allowed for "Civil Partnerships". The British and indeed Europeans do seem to have accorded the whole issue a much greater sense of, well sense. I am dismayed (and saddened) by the attitude that clearly prevails in the United States at large. And the comments herein are a salutary reminder of the problems that citizens of that country face...after all these years. It makes one remember the pioneering militancy that people such as Harvey Milk fought hard to achieve for equality. Still some way to go, obviously.