Why I'd rather watch 'The Grudge' than this bunch of pampered professionals

In fairness, it was probably the biggest splash made by an English player all tournament.

Just when you thought there couldn't be any more laspes of discipline from the English rugby team, Manu Tuilagi goes and hurls himself from a ferry whilst it was docking in Auckland.

It probably isn't fair to single Tuilagi out for special treatment, since he was one of England's better performers. There were far more suitable candidates to have been made to walk the plank.

Start the inquiry: England leave New Zealand as the lead balloon of the World Cup

But there is some welcome news for anyone else still suffering from the fallout of England's ignominious exit from the World Cup.

The producers behind The King’s Speech have bought the film rights to The Grudge, Tom English’s excellent account of the now infamous 1990 Calcutta Cup match between Scotland and England.

If nothing else, it should make a wonderfully nostalgic trip down memory lane.

Making a splash: England player Manu Tuilagi has been fined after jumping from a ferry in Auckland

For those with short memories, the book centres around the final
match of the (then) Five Nations Championships, and it was the big one.

Both sides were undefeated and so everything was still to play for:
The Calcutta Cup, The Triple Crown, the Championships title, and, of
course, the opportunity of a Grand Slam.

England were heavy favourites. They had blown away everyone in their
path, but had made few friends along the way. Their formidable back line
of Hill, Andrew, Carling, Guscott and Underwood were easy hate figures.
Plucked, preened and officer class. I did not like them.

Scotland, meanwhile, were a workmanlike side with no media stars but
in Lions heroes Gavin Hastings and John Jeffrey they had two genuinely
world-class players.

The build up to the match is now legendary. The glorious Edinburgh
sunshine; Scotland’s captain David Sole leading his team in a slow walk
on to the Murrayfield Turf; A belting rendition of the Flower of
Scotland.

In the end, despite England’s near-unbeatable reputation, it was
Scotland who triumphed, thanks to a try from 21 year-old winger, Tony
Stanger. I can still remember the BBC’s Bill McLaren having what sounded
like a minor coronary as Stanger accelerated through the English
defence:

‘Pick up by Jefferies… Jeffries to Armstrong…Armstrong nicely out
to Gavin Hastings…Gavin Hastings goes for the kick through… on goes
Stanger…Stanger could be there first…it’s a try!…a magnificent try!

It is easy to see why the story has attracted filmmakers. Uplifting
tales detailing the triumph of the underdog spirit are easy celluloid fodder. No doubt the filmmakers will also want to make much of the
anti-Thatcherite sentiment at the time in Scotland, which had been used
as a testing ground for the despised poll tax.

Like Jason Cowley’s The Last Game, which pinpoints Arsenal’s famous
2-0 victory over Liverpool in 1989 as the end of the old football era
before Sky’s millions came in, so The Grudge marks the last memorable
match of what was then the amateur game.

Players' lifestyles were unrecognisable compared to what professionals' are today.

Scotland’s Kenny Milne, for example, was a baker by trade so would
have to turn up for training straight from the bakery. England’s Wade
Dooley was an Police officer in the Metropolitan police who had fought
off petrol bombs whilst on the front line of the Toxteth riots.

It is a tale not just of triumph over adversity, but of players playing for glory, not financial gain.

Above all, as England's pampered players return home, with their
dieticians and masseurs, their public relations advisers and sports
psychologists, it is a timely reminder of a by-gone era after which the
game was never really the same again.