Ok, so like the other day I was watching the TV and there was some food show or something about some hoity toity hipster bakery that made bacon dipped in chocolate. Hmmm… really, now. Well, this is nothing original ’cause I can swear I saw Paula Dean do this once, and it seem like something she would definitely make. I could do it too, but did I want to? Let’s ask the six year old. Why yes, she thinks that would be awesome, so why the heck not.

So, off to the store we went since we had to get veggies and some snacks for her lunchbox anyhow. Oh, and milk. All we needed for this upscale dish was 1. bacon and 2. chocolate chips. I, of course, bought the cheap ass store brands of both suspecting that this would not be very good. Then again, that might make all the difference, but seriously, I need my money for real food. They’re out of my Greek yogurt – damnit!

Since making this was my daughter’s idea, she is obviously nowhere to be found. Actually, she’s watching Spongebob, which is just as well. Melted chocolate is messy enough when I get a hold of it, so it’s probably better this way. All you need to do is preheat your oven to 375. Put six slices of bacon on parchment paper on a cookie sheet and bake it for 15 to 20 minutes – depending on your preferred crispiness factor. I had mine in for 20, but I think 15 would have been better. When it’s done, transfer your piggy slices to a plate with a paper towel or two on it to suck up the grease.

While the bacon cools, put your bag of chips into double boiler or a bowl over a simmering pot of water and melt your chips, stirring them and making sure they don’t burn. Burnt chocolate tastes like ass. By the time it’s melted, your bacon should be cool. Put it on a plate with wax or parchment paper on it and then pour the chocolate all over it with a spoon. You could always use tongs and dip it, but I tried that and the bacon broke, I think because it was too crispy – hence my suggestion for 15 minutes in the oven.

It doesn’t need to be pretty – it’s bacon covered with chocolate people, I mean really now. But, as one website suggested, you can ,melt white chocolate too and drizzle that over it if you want a fancy presentation. If you’re doing this for the first time though, why go crazy?

Put your bacon in the fridge to set up. Stare at the remaining chocolate in the bowl. You could save it, but are you really gonna use it again? You can’t just throw it out, it’s a perfectly good bowl of melted chocolate. Oh, wait, there’s a piece of bacon in it. I guess you really should throw it away, but there’s no one around, you could always experiment, right?

What’s in the cabinet? Marshmallows! Let’s dip those. That was kind of obvious. How about fruit? Really? You just put pig slices in it, let’s not try to pretend to be semi-healthy. I know, your husband’s sour cream and onion potato chips. There ya go, that’s a recipe to keep – secretly in the back of your mind, it ain’t going in the family recipe book. What else – cheese crackers? Eh, not so great but I wouldn’t throw him out of bed, if ya know what I’m saying.

Now for the verdict. My daughter thinks it’s fabulous, my husband says it’s “odd” and me, eh, I wouldn’t make it again. Maybe if I would have used high-end ingredients it would have been better, but tough, not gonna happen. I could pretend I like it, but I’m not some trendy hipster or a foodie so I’m not gonna lie so I can seem cool. I’m too old to care about that. Oh, and I’m not an ass. The chocolate covered marshmallows, on the other hand, were yummy though, and don’t forget those potato chips.