my GF has a Hitler mustache down there, how do I express to her that I aint into it?

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This is an unfortunate choice in grooming. i never understood it.

Anyway, Sally Hansen and others make wax strips... I use em all the time. Iit's a convenient, pre-waxed strip you just warm in your hands, press on and rip off. You could do that while she sleeps. It would wake her up, obviously. But you could say it was a prank. (And a lesser evil to doing it to her eyebrow or somewhere visible). THEN, after she cools down over the "prank" you could say "Ya know... I actually kinda like it like that! Whaddaya know??!" Maybe go down on her a lot more while she's without the patch, just to reinforce your position. This should guide her in the right direction.