Monday, September 28, 2009

On my mission, my companion and I had become friends with a family of Amish farmers near Bowling Green, Missouri, and we always stopped in for a visit whenever we drove down to Hannibal. One day my companion mentioned that he was from Spanish Fork, Utah, and the Amish nearly dropped their pitchforks in amazement.

"You must know Dr. Christopher!", they breathlessly exclaimed. But neither he nor I had ever heard of the guy.

This was as astonishing to them as if I, having come from Anaheim, had admitted to never having heard of Walt Disney. It was inconceivable that someone from Spanish Fork had never heard of the man whom the Amish considered Spanish Fork's most famous son. In fact Dr. Christopher had recently given a speech locally, at which many Amish had been in attendance.

Noah, the father of the family whose farm we were visiting (every Amish family is headed by a man named "Noah"; you can look it up) showed us a shelf full of jars and bottles of herbal remedies that Dr. Christopher had formulated, but it meant about as much to me at the time as if someone had shown me his collection of divining rods.

It's not surprising that my companion had never heard of this man from his own home town, for Dr. Christopher was rarely home. I learned much later that Dr. John Christopher, a Mormon from Spanish Fork, was known as "The Father of Modern Herbal Medicine". An avuncular figure who looked like a cross between Colonel Sanders and Mister Monopoly, Dr. Christopher had traveled the world studying ancient herbal healing traditions, from China and India to Native American shamans and Appalachian folk medicine.

What placed Dr. Christopher a peg above the average herbal practitioner was that he didn't simply go around collecting herbal recipes and folklore; he was interested in the actual chemical makeup and reactions of herbs on the body. In other words, he researched the medical-biological reasons that certain herbs reacted in certain ways to cure specific maladies, and found it all came down to the knowledge that herbs contain chemicals that when taken in the proper dosage and combination could actually cure illnesses that synthetic pharmaceuticals were merely treating. In this sense he brought herbal medicine out of the realm of ooga-booga witch doctoring and into the world of applied science.

This is not to say that Dr. Christopher did not also depend upon divine guidance. Initially inspired by the counsel in the Word of Wisdom that all wholesome herbs were ordained for the constitution of man, Dr. Christopher often sought God's guidance in formulating the various combinations of those herbs most likely to bring about a desired healing.

At one famous seminar he was teaching in Snowflake, Arizona, an audience member asked him if there were any herbal formulas that might protect us from the coming biblical plagues. Dr. Christopher hadn't really thought about it before, but said a silent prayer on the spot and then rattled off the formula.

This recipe has become famous as the Anti-Plague Formula, and I can testify from personal experience that it is THE cure for any flu virus. You can google the recipe and make it yourself if you want, but frankly it's so involved and time consuming that I find it easier to just buy it from someone else.

Fortunately for all of us, Dr. Christopher left a legacy in the form of dedicated students to whom he taught everything he knew, and some of them have set up shop and can provide you with his original formulas. You can find such people from here to Florida, but there are a couple of sources I particularly trust. I get my Anti-plague Syrup from a company called Western Botanicals, which happens to be based in Spanish Fork.

The reason I use the word "trust" here is because some years ago there were reports that some people purporting to sell herbal formulas based on Dr. Christopher's formulas were actually cutting costs by using fillers or substituting one herb for another, or even leaving expensive herbs out entirely. One famous manufacturer reportedly ran out of cayenne pepper one day and substituted cherry powder because no one could tell the difference by looking.

It's important to know your source for two other reasons: you want your herbs to be organically grown, and you want them grown in America. Many herbs from China and India are grown in fields containing human feces and other contaminants, and all foreign herbs are irradiated when they arrive here, which adds poisons and kills their medicinal properties.

When Herbs Don't Work

You may have tried taking herbs in the past and been disappointed because you didn't notice any benefit. Well, here's why: Most dry herbs don't work well. Except in a few cases, glycerine capsules filled with dry herbs just can't do the trick anywhere near as well as a liquid tincture.

Dry herbs are often ineffective because your body isn't able to extract all the nutrients from those capsules before they're excreted from your body. Remember, the potency of the herbs is in the chemicals contained within them, and most plants must be subjected to prolonged soaking for those chemicals to be extracted. The phyto-chemicals in some herbs can be extracted with spring water or glycerin, but parts such as roots and barks must be subjected to prolonged soaking in alcohol. So the most effective way to ingest herbal medicine is through liquid tinctures, which is what you get after herbs have been chopped, ground, pulverized, and soaked, preferably in alcohol.

Now, if you're reluctant to ingest a little alcohol with your plant medicine, it's time to man up, my brother. A ripe banana has more alcohol than a couple of droppers full of herbal tincture, and if it freaks you out that much, just squirt the tincture into a cup of herbal tea and the alcohol will instantly evaporate, leaving the medicine behind.

But if you really want to get well, stop being a sissy about it. Yes, God counsels against strong drink, but he didn't mean avoid minute amounts in the medicines He's provided. As I've written before here, God expects us to drink beer, and beer has a small amount of alcohol, so use that brain God gave you and stop being such a zealot.

Anyway, good news for you zealots: the Anti-plague Syrup I get from Western Botanicals is in a base of apple cider vinegar, vegetable glycerine, and pure honey, so you can take this if you get sick and still keep your temple recommend. The herbs contained therein are the most powerful natural antibiotics, anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammation, anti-infection, and anti-just-about-anything you can think of. I keep a pint bottle in my fridge at all times, and I'm thinking I ought to have two.

You can can get them in sizes as small as two ounces, but you don't want that. The reason to keep a pint bottle on hand is because you're going to need it, and anyway it's pretty cheap. If you wake up some morning with the flu, you're going to need to take a tablespoon of the stuff every waking hour. But don't worry, you'll likely only have to do this for one day, because if you take it faithfully every hour, the next day your flu will be gone. Done. Over with. Personal experience.

And it's a good thing, too, because the last thing you feel like doing when you're too sick to stand is to force some crappy tasting liquid down your throat every hour on the hour for more than one day.

Even though I'm a firm believer in the power of herbal tinctures, I never have gotten used to their taste. They all taste as brown and bitter and skanky as they look. So what I do is this: I set up two shot glasses on the kitchen counter, one half filled with grape juice and the other full of grape juice. I add the tablespoon of tincture to the first, swallow it quick, and then follow that with the full shot of grape juice as a chaser before my mouth notices what I've just done to it.

It may be called Anti-Plague Syrup, but there's nothing syrupy about it, it's just flat and awful. But it works like nothing else, and the grape juice does hide the taste pretty well. (Many long-time users claim they don't mind the taste, and take it straight, but I don't see how I'll ever get to that level.)

Until three years ago I always got the flu, often four times a year, and it always turned into mycoplasma pneumonia for another six weeks, because I've always been asthmatic and susceptible to respiratory illness. That means I usually had only a few weeks in a row when I wasn't down sick. But since the first time I took the Anti-Plague Syrup, I don't fear the flu anymore, no matter how much the government and media scare machine hypes the latest bogeyman strain.

I hope I don't have to tell you to avoid the coming "Swine Flu" shot at all costs. If you aren't aware by now that the entire hysteria is a hoax you just haven't been paying attention. Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants warns us that we will need to rely on God's ordained plant medicines "in consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days".

If you're looking for the conspiring men behind those evil designs, They're not that hard to find. The swine and bird flu viruses did not appear suddenly in nature. They were deliberately created in the laboratory and are spread through unwitting populations through vaccinations. You can find these conspiring men and read their own documents confirming that these viruses were deliberately created and unleashed for the purpose of controlling foreign populations. Dr. Leonard Horowitz, the noted expert on infectious diseases calls them out and names names here.

There will always be the danger of flu viruses, but the so-called Swine Flu is no more deadly than any other. This is not to imply that you are not in danger of catching this or any other flu; anybody can. Which is why if I were you I would have a pint of Anti-Plague Syrup on hand.

And there's something else you can take along with it for extra measure, another of Dr. Christopher's miracle mixtures which many have called The Cure For The Common Cold. You can find it under various labels such as Cyclone Cider, Herbal Super Tonic, or just plain Super Tonic. Some people take a couple of droppers full every morning just to balance their body's PH, and they claim they've never gotten sick. I've been using it at the first sign of sniffles or hayfever, and it stops those symptoms in their tracks.

I made some of this stuff up myself once. But only once. I have an industrial strength juicer and thought I was up to it. I'll never do it again, though. The vapors were so strong that it drove my wife and kids crying from the house and they didn't come back until hours later when they could no longer smell it a block away. I eventually had to leave myself; It was as if a teargas canister had gone off in my kitchen.

Here's what it's made of:

A whole white onionA whole red onionA cup of Garlic clovesA whole horseradish root the size of a baby's legA whole ginger root the size of your fistA couple of cups of fresh cayenne peppers (this is often hardest to find, because most supermarket cayenne is dried)A cup of fresh habanero peppers.

Juice it all and add it to a cup of apple cider vinegar.

It goes without saying that all the ingredients above should be organic. Find some glass jars to put it in. It will never go bad.

If you try making this yourself, you'll know why the professional herbal manufacturers wear military grade gas masks whenever they mix up a batch, something I wish I had known before I did it.

The really good thing about this stuff is that you can pour it on salads, burritos, tacos, hash browns - just about anything, and it tastes really good once you get accustomed to it. Use it sparingly though, because it's HOT! Also, if you use it too much and too often, your marriage may suffer from lack of intimacy. (Again, personal experience.)

In addition to the Super Tonic, if you're trying to ward off a cold, I would always take a quality Echinacea blend with it. Echinacea builds your immune system and helps your body create T-Cells which eat the bad guys in your blood. Where you get your echinacea root tincture from is vitally important, because it is one of those roots that must be harvested fresh and soaked in alcohol in order to extract the needed chemicals, and some dealers merely soak it in water or glycerin. I buy my echinacea blends from Western Botanicals and Dr. Richard Schultz's American Botanical Pharmacy, because I trust them both.

Dr. Schultz has made an interesting improvement on some of Dr. Christopher's formulae, by providing what he calls his Cold and Flu Herbal "Shot". This is a small jar the size of a shot glass that contains both the Super Tonic and Echinacea blends along with a whole passel of tinctures designed to fight any possible cold or flu germs. The idea is you take one of these "shots" every morning for six days at the start of the cold and flu season, and it prevents you from getting sick even when everybody around you is contagious. I use them at the start of spring and fall.

I keep a six pack of these Cold and Flu Shots in my cupboard and a pint of Anti-Plague Syrup in my fridge, and I am invulnerable. It may seem like overkill to double up like this, but you don't know how well it's all worked for me. It's real medicine, the way God designed it.

God didn't intend for us to be afraid or sickly, so if you've been caught up in the fear of catching the swine flu, get ahold of God's medicine and reclaim your power from the fear-mongers.

[Disclaimer: There are untold armies of government trolls lurking around the internet just looking to cause trouble, so if I could afford a lawyer, he'd probably advise me make the following statement: The foregoing article consists of my personal opinions protected by my first amendment rights to freedom of speech and to my religious beliefs. The statements I make concerning natural formulas above have not been evaluated by the Federal Food and Drug Administration. My claims of their efficacy are based on my own personal experience, and are included as my personal testimony. The manufacturers mentioned above make no claims that their products are intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, and they have not solicited my endorsement. Indeed, I mention them here without their knowledge or consent, but as a convenience to my readers. Only a competent medical professional is qualified to advise you on your health care, and only large pharmaceutical conglomerates are capable of creating medications that are safe and effective for the treatment of all known ailments. Everyone knows that God lacks the research facilities and resources available to the pharmaceutical companies, and the idea that a loving God would design plants for his children that contain healing properties is, of course, ridiculous.]

On my mission, my companion and I had become friends with a family of Amish farmers near Bowling Green, Missouri, and we always stopped in for a visit whenever we drove down to Hannibal. One day my companion mentioned that he was from Spanish Fork, Utah, and the Amish nearly dropped their pitchforks in amazement.

"You must know Dr. Christopher!", they breathlessly exclaimed. But neither he nor I had ever heard of the guy.

This was as astonishing to them as if I, having come from Anaheim, had admitted to never having heard of Walt Disney. It was inconceivable that someone from Spanish Fork had never heard of the man whom the Amish considered Spanish Fork's most famous son. In fact Dr. Christopher had recently given a speech locally, at which many Amish had been in attendance.

Noah, the father of the family whose farm we were visiting (every Amish family is headed by a man named "Noah"; you can look it up) showed us a shelf full of jars and bottles of herbal remedies that Dr. Christopher had formulated, but it meant about as much to me at the time as if someone had shown me his collection of divining rods.

It's not surprising that my companion had never heard of this man from his own home town, for Dr. Christopher was rarely home. I learned much later that Dr. John Christopher, a Mormon from Spanish Fork, was known as "The Father of Modern Herbal Medicine". An avuncular figure who looked like a cross between Colonel Sanders and Mister Monopoly, Dr. Christopher had traveled the world studying ancient herbal healing traditions, from China and India to Native American shamans and Appalachian folk medicine.

What placed Dr. Christopher a peg above the average herbal practitioner was that he didn't simply go around collecting herbal recipes and folklore; he was interested in the actual chemical makeup and reactions of herbs on the body. In other words, he researched the medical-biological reasons that certain herbs reacted in certain ways to cure specific maladies, and found it all came down to the knowledge that herbs contain chemicals that when taken in the proper dosage and combination could actually cure illnesses that synthetic pharmaceuticals were merely treating. In this sense he brought herbal medicine out of the realm of ooga-booga witch doctoring and into the world of applied science.

This is not to say that Dr. Christopher did not also depend upon divine guidance. Initially inspired by the counsel in the Word of Wisdom that all wholesome herbs were ordained for the constitution of man, Dr. Christopher often sought God's guidance in formulating the various combinations of those herbs most likely to bring about a desired healing.

At one famous seminar he was teaching in Snowflake, Arizona, an audience member asked him if there were any herbal formulas that might protect us from the coming biblical plagues. Dr. Christopher hadn't really thought about it before, but said a silent prayer on the spot and then rattled off the formula.

This recipe has become famous as the Anti-Plague Formula, and I can testify from personal experience that it is THE cure for any flu virus. You can google the recipe and make it yourself if you want, but frankly it's so involved and time consuming that I find it easier to just buy it from someone else.

Fortunately for all of us, Dr. Christopher left a legacy in the form of dedicated students to whom he taught everything he knew, and some of them have set up shop and can provide you with his original formulas. You can find such people from here to Florida, but there are a couple of sources I particularly trust. I get my Anti-plague Syrup from a company called Western Botanicals, which happens to be based in Spanish Fork.

The reason I use the word "trust" here is because some years ago there were reports that some people purporting to sell herbal formulas based on Dr. Christopher's formulas were actually cutting costs by using fillers or substituting one herb for another, or even leaving expensive herbs out entirely. One famous manufacturer reportedly ran out of cayenne pepper one day and substituted cherry powder because no one could tell the difference by looking.

It's important to know your source for two other reasons: you want your herbs to be organically grown, and you want them grown in America. Many herbs from China and India are grown in fields containing human feces and other contaminants, and all foreign herbs are irradiated when they arrive here, which adds poisons and kills their medicinal properties.

When Herbs Don't Work

You may have tried taking herbs in the past and been disappointed because you didn't notice any benefit. Well, here's why: Most dry herbs don't work well. Except in a few cases, glycerine capsules filled with dry herbs just can't do the trick anywhere near as well as a liquid tincture.

Dry herbs are often ineffective because your body isn't able to extract all the nutrients from those capsules before they're excreted from your body. Remember, the potency of the herbs is in the chemicals contained within them, and most plants must be subjected to prolonged soaking for those chemicals to be extracted. The phyto-chemicals in some herbs can be extracted with spring water or glycerin, but parts such as roots and barks must be subjected to prolonged soaking in alcohol. So the most effective way to ingest herbal medicine is through liquid tinctures, which is what you get after herbs have been chopped, ground, pulverized, and soaked, preferably in alcohol.

Now, if you're reluctant to ingest a little alcohol with your plant medicine, it's time to man up, my brother. A ripe banana has more alcohol than a couple of droppers full of herbal tincture, and if it freaks you out that much, just squirt the tincture into a cup of herbal tea and the alcohol will instantly evaporate, leaving the medicine behind.

But if you really want to get well, stop being a sissy about it. Yes, God counsels against strong drink, but he didn't mean avoid minute amounts in the medicines He's provided. As I've written before here, God expects us to drink beer, and beer has a small amount of alcohol, so use that brain God gave you and stop being such a zealot.

Anyway, good news for you zealots: the Anti-plague Syrup I get from Western Botanicals is in a base of apple cider vinegar, vegetable glycerine, and pure honey, so you can take this if you get sick and still keep your temple recommend. The herbs contained therein are the most powerful natural antibiotics, anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammation, anti-infection, and anti-just-about-anything you can think of. I keep a pint bottle in my fridge at all times, and I'm thinking I ought to have two.

You can can get them in sizes as small as two ounces, but you don't want that. The reason to keep a pint bottle on hand is because you're going to need it, and anyway it's pretty cheap. If you wake up some morning with the flu, you're going to need to take a tablespoon of the stuff every waking hour. But don't worry, you'll likely only have to do this for one day, because if you take it faithfully every hour, the next day your flu will be gone. Done. Over with. Personal experience.

And it's a good thing, too, because the last thing you feel like doing when you're too sick to stand is to force some crappy tasting liquid down your throat every hour on the hour for more than one day.

Even though I'm a firm believer in the power of herbal tinctures, I never have gotten used to their taste. They all taste as brown and bitter and skanky as they look. So what I do is this: I set up two shot glasses on the kitchen counter, one half filled with grape juice and the other full of grape juice. I add the tablespoon of tincture to the first, swallow it quick, and then follow that with the full shot of grape juice as a chaser before my mouth notices what I've just done to it.

It may be called Anti-Plague Syrup, but there's nothing syrupy about it, it's just flat and awful. But it works like nothing else, and the grape juice does hide the taste pretty well. (Many long-time users claim they don't mind the taste, and take it straight, but I don't see how I'll ever get to that level.)

Until three years ago I always got the flu, often four times a year, and it always turned into mycoplasma pneumonia for another six weeks, because I've always been asthmatic and susceptible to respiratory illness. That means I usually had only a few weeks in a row when I wasn't down sick. But since the first time I took the Anti-Plague Syrup, I don't fear the flu anymore, no matter how much the government and media scare machine hypes the latest bogeyman strain.

I hope I don't have to tell you to avoid the coming "Swine Flu" shot at all costs. If you aren't aware by now that the entire hysteria is a hoax you just haven't been paying attention. Section 89 of the Doctrine and Covenants warns us that we will need to rely on God's ordained plant medicines "in consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days".

If you're looking for the conspiring men behind those evil designs, They're not that hard to find. The swine and bird flu viruses did not appear suddenly in nature. They were deliberately created in the laboratory and are spread through unwitting populations through vaccinations. You can find these conspiring men and read their own documents confirming that these viruses were deliberately created and unleashed for the purpose of controlling foreign populations. Dr. Leonard Horowitz, the noted expert on infectious diseases calls them out and names names here.

There will always be the danger of flu viruses, but the so-called Swine Flu is no more deadly than any other. This is not to imply that you are not in danger of catching this or any other flu; anybody can. Which is why if I were you I would have a pint of Anti-Plague Syrup on hand.

And there's something else you can take along with it for extra measure, another of Dr. Christopher's miracle mixtures which many have called The Cure For The Common Cold. You can find it under various labels such as Cyclone Cider, Herbal Super Tonic, or just plain Super Tonic. Some people take a couple of droppers full every morning just to balance their body's PH, and they claim they've never gotten sick. I've been using it at the first sign of sniffles or hayfever, and it stops those symptoms in their tracks.

I made some of this stuff up myself once. But only once. I have an industrial strength juicer and thought I was up to it. I'll never do it again, though. The vapors were so strong that it drove my wife and kids crying from the house and they didn't come back until hours later when they could no longer smell it a block away. I eventually had to leave myself; It was as if a teargas canister had gone off in my kitchen.

Here's what it's made of:

A whole white onionA whole red onionA cup of Garlic clovesA whole horseradish root the size of a baby's legA whole ginger root the size of your fistA couple of cups of fresh cayenne peppers (this is often hardest to find, because most supermarket cayenne is dried)A cup of fresh habanero peppers.

Juice it all and add it to a cup of apple cider vinegar.

It goes without saying that all the ingredients above should be organic. Find some glass jars to put it in. It will never go bad.

If you try making this yourself, you'll know why the professional herbal manufacturers wear military grade gas masks whenever they mix up a batch, something I wish I had known before I did it.

The really good thing about this stuff is that you can pour it on salads, burritos, tacos, hash browns - just about anything, and it tastes really good once you get accustomed to it. Use it sparingly though, because it's HOT! Also, if you use it too much and too often, your marriage may suffer from lack of intimacy. (Again, personal experience.)

In addition to the Super Tonic, if you're trying to ward off a cold, I would always take a quality Echinacea blend with it. Echinacea builds your immune system and helps your body create T-Cells which eat the bad guys in your blood. Where you get your echinacea root tincture from is vitally important, because it is one of those roots that must be harvested fresh and soaked in alcohol in order to extract the needed chemicals, and some dealers merely soak it in water or glycerin. I buy my echinacea blends from Western Botanicals and Dr. Richard Schultz's American Botanical Pharmacy, because I trust them both.

Dr. Schultz has made an interesting improvement on some of Dr. Christopher's formulae, by providing what he calls his Cold and Flu Herbal "Shot". This is a small jar the size of a shot glass that contains both the Super Tonic and Echinacea blends along with a whole passel of tinctures designed to fight any possible cold or flu germs. The idea is you take one of these "shots" every morning for six days at the start of the cold and flu season, and it prevents you from getting sick even when everybody around you is contagious. I use them at the start of spring and fall.

I keep a six pack of these Cold and Flu Shots in my cupboard and a pint of Anti-Plague Syrup in my fridge, and I am invulnerable. It may seem like overkill to double up like this, but you don't know how well it's all worked for me. It's real medicine, the way God designed it.

God didn't intend for us to be afraid or sickly, so if you've been caught up in the fear of catching the swine flu, get ahold of God's medicine and reclaim your power from the fear-mongers.

[Disclaimer: There are untold armies of government trolls lurking around the internet just looking to cause trouble, so if I could afford a lawyer, he'd probably advise me make the following statement: The foregoing article consists of my personal opinions protected by my first amendment rights to freedom of speech and to my religious beliefs. The statements I make concerning natural formulas above have not been evaluated by the Federal Food and Drug Administration. My claims of their efficacy are based on my own personal experience, and are included as my personal testimony. The manufacturers mentioned above make no claims that their products are intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, and they have not solicited my endorsement. Indeed, I mention them here without their knowledge or consent, but as a convenience to my readers. Only a competent medical professional is qualified to advise you on your health care, and only large pharmaceutical conglomerates are capable of creating medications that are safe and effective for the treatment of all known ailments. Everyone knows that God lacks the research facilities and resources available to the pharmaceutical companies, and the idea that a loving God would design plants for his children that contain healing properties is, of course, ridiculous.]