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Hello. It has been about 5months since I had crack & heroin together at the same time (a speeder?). This,among with first time X usage, dropped me straight out of college, for all I wanted to do was sleep for a couple weeks, then the pot kept craving, so I didn't even go to class anymore. I am not worried about that though, What I am worried about is will I ever get this feeling out of my head? Am I changed forever? I can feel the "worm" if you will, the "perfect circle" in my head? Will I be the 13th step forever?? There is no road to feel better? I just keep worrying that I will never return to normal so I might as well make heroin part of my lifestyle and I will become some angry rockstar one day and die of a heroin overdose?

by the way, I was tricked into smoking the speeder I was on X, and mescaline and then had the speeder. I dont even feel comfortable talking about it, I will just say that there are lots of evil people in the heroin underworld that wanted me to join there heroin highway to hell. (they werent my friend)

No, your not going to return the way you used to be, however you live and learn from your experiences. Good or bad. So you will have to learn how to cope with this feeling in your head that you speak of.

I'm really sorry to hear about that fuct up situation. I'm not even going to begin to tell you that I know how you feel or can relate in any way. All I'm saying is that no one really returns to normal... they only learn to cope with it.

that 'feeling' should go away with time or atleast you wont notice it there anymore, find some friends that just wanna hang out, take a break from drugs, i have been clean for almost 2 months and i feel great you dont have to quit just reduce the amount it does wonders to how you think and relate to drugs. just get your mind off of it

--------------------"Take me koalas back jack... take my koalas back, he lives somwhere out on the track mack... so take me koalas back"

How do you know for sure that you took heroin if you only suspect you did by reading up on the effects after?

If you'd never taken it before, simply reading up on them isn't going to be enough to identify the effects, as they can be kind of ambiguous... euphoria, sleepiness, etc can all be caused by things other than heroin.

--------------------"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us

Yeah, I'm sure you'll become a rockstar and not a junky living on the street.

"Then the pot kept craving"? Is this some kind of joke?

If you can't control yourself with smoking weed you shouldn't be doing any drugs at all. Yeah ,that's a great idea, smoking crack, doing heroin, and popping MDMA while you're trying to get an education.

Opiates like heroin aren't going to magically change you into a junky overnight. Like any drug, it is continued use and dependance that makes for addiction.

In essence, heroin is EXACTLY the same high as the pills your dentist gives you when you get your teeth pulled. If taking those doesn't change you into a different person overnight, heroin won't either.

The difference here, is perception and fear. You're afraid that you've changed, and you expect some kind of change from these drugs, and that is what is creating these feelings.

If you live your life normally, you will remain normal.

--------------------"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us

I agree with Phluck, your actually creating your own negative image of yourself. One time heroin use will not change you, its the constant addictive use that can. Be positive, you will soon notice that there is nothing wrong. Your mind can simulate some strange things eh?

Heroin and cocaine sound like the drugs that are least likely to leave you feeling that way. You were on MDMA and Mescaline? Both of those are psychadelics and generally reputed to be MUCH more mentally risky than one-time heroin and cocaine usage. MDMA has been known to leave people with hangovers lasting days.

Well, also, I've heard of some pretty crappy reactions between stimulants, like cocaine, with psychadelics. When I read this, I immediately though that the ecstasy was the root of the problem, but likely it was worsened by the combo.

What makes you convinced it was heroin? Any needle holes in areas with veins?