Although I mostly lurk on Mudcat these days, I do check in on all you lovely people. I send warm thoughts and share your joys and sorrows. And now I want to share my joys with you.

After the first eight months of 2016 being less than wonderful, September made up for it. A house concert where I was pulled aside during the break by one of the singers and told I have a lovely voice and should sing more When I told her I panic and lose the words, she asked if I would let her help me with that. Having my given-up-for-adoption younger sister make contact with me after I'd given up all hope of ever hearing from her. Going to The Getaway and seeing old friends and making new ones. Deciding that going to Sally Rogers' Music Theory for Vocalists workshop at The Getaway might be a good idea and feeling like I needed the remedial class, but enjoying it anyway and having Sally drag me into the center to listen when she realized I was feeling lost so I wouldn't feel excluded. Having Sally pull me aside after her mini concert and telling me the same thing that Kat told me earlier in the month. Road trip to Connecticut with my mom to pick up my new dog last Thursday. Getting to know Beau (the new dog).

Without the occasional poem, I would, sometimes, be rendered speechless...totally incommunicado.'Clothing' my thoughts & feelings poetically enables me to express 'where I'm at' in a way that regular prose doesn't. I feel safe within my poem; safe enough to write about things I would NEVER place in the public domain in prose. "...a poet of truth", that goes right to the heart of the matter, Donuel. My 'truth' & your 'truth' will always differ, but there are many similarities & commonalities in us all to which a poem may speak. Pete's post above is a perfect exemplar of just that. Yes, I write for myself, but also in the hope that my words will have meaning for you too. With Love to you all, Nigel.

Yes, like I said 'a scholar and a gentleman' Nigel. Now a poet of truth.

Well, Ketamine works like a charm for depression for about a week. We had a glimpse of an aware and awake outgoing personality but patterns of withdrawal crept back slowly. But alas a turning point is established for the ongoing treatment next week and beyond. His improvement is well documented by the school, social services and the doctor to serve as a pioneering case study to establish FDA approval by next spring.

I thought you had borrowed some classical poetry from somewhere to express your thoughts, then reached the end and see that Nigel was the eloquent wordsmith ! Seems also quite apt today as we interned my dad's ashes in the grave where my brother and mum were laid. Only a small party of us. The minister I asked to officiate done a lovely sensitive job ,and I sang the song I had written for dad some time ago. A season of mingled emotions. Blessings all. Pete.

The Autumn Equinox has gone, Greens & reds & browns & fawn Leaf-woven carpets strew the ground, A transformation so profound. Longer nights & shorter days Affect our lives in subtle ways. "Mists of mellow fruitfulness" As harvest time our tables bless. Birds fly south on beating wing, Returning home once more to sing To other ears, their songs familiar, Sung so true & sounding clearer? Shall we survive the closing year Apparently so bleak, so drear? With 'winter weeds' in cupboards waiting, Summer's warmth is fast abating. Stock the larder, cook the fruit, For hunger doth our form transmute And once transmuted, what are we? Enveloped by a reverie Of darkened dreams, of cold & shadow, Spoiléd grain not fit to winnow. Wind-blown we are nought but chaff, The stuff of 'when', an epitaph, But think no thoughts that hint of ending, Seasons' cycles ever wending, Draw us from an impotence Imposed by cold's indifference. 'Lead us forward, kindly light', Lest we remain embalmed by night. (Nigel Paterson, September 2016)

Talking a while back to the worse/verse, wiper/viper peoples: it doesn't have to be German, after all...

My name is Yon Yonson I come from Visconsin I vork in da lumber mill dere Ven I go up de street De people I meet Dey say: Vat's your name? And I say....ad infinitum remembering Carl Sandburg's recording (and him guffawing with laughter)

20/30 at the moment. Good enough to drive without glasses. However, the eye is still a little dilated and she's putting in drops several times a day. The ophthalmologist is quite pleased, considering how long she waited for the procedure to start.

She sees him again in a couple of weeks; the optician is threatening to pop out her left lens then.

So far she's doing okay. Some vision problems, but that's to be expected as the eye has changed from yesterday morning!

She's home. The surgeon was two hours late because he had a major problem with a patient at the hospital (Pat was done at a "surgical center"). He didn't specify, but I got the impression it was one of those things that happen no matter how much work you do to prevent stuff like it.

Anyway, I got her home around 4:00 pm MDT. She ate a cookie on the way home (she had been something like 15 hours without solid food) and she slept for two hours. The phone rang and awakened her -- it was the surgeon calling to see how she was doing.

One eye is behind an eye shield and tomorrow at 8 a.m. (!!!) we see the surgeon (who is also our ophthamologist). She will probably get the eye shield off, a quick eye exam with the letter chart, and may get the left lens knocked out of her glasses.

Her right eye will be done on October 25 -- we have to work the surgeries around her travel schedule!

Yesterday I saw the surgeon, who cleared me for massage therapy and more strenuous physical therapy. I see him again in February, assuming something doesn't go wrong before then.

Pat gets the cataract in her left eye out tomorrow. She's looking forward (BAD RAPPAREE!!! BAD!!!) to it ever since she thought her friend's lavender robe was gray. The right eye will be done in late October and Ol' Eagle Eye will be back in business!

We have a saying out here: "The only way to the other side is through." Others can help, can give you support, but only you make the actual crossing. It's actually a very comforting thought because it reinforces the idea that you can actually do it...and you can.

I wrote these lines after our daughter Jane died. I hope Mysha will take something from them too:

" 'Shall we Meet in Avalon?'

And shall we meet in Avalon, or does our journey voyage on To places never, ever seen where only those who've passed have been? At journey's end, what will we find, comfort for the tortured mind? Respite for the restless soul, with passing time, will we be whole? Shall we be whole to laugh again, despite the anguish, tears & pain? Shall we be whole to smile & say: "It's time, tomorrow is another day?" Another day, a different course, (Death's trade winds blew with awful force.) Our future waits, as yet unknown, but we are two, we're not alone. The Love we share that binds us tight, enhanced by Friend's illumined light. Wisdom, Care, Compassion, Healing as breakers struck & left us reeling. Calmer waters now surround, recedes the risk to run aground. This voyage complete, we sail again, more mindful now of other's pain. More mindful now of what we've lost and how to bear & count the cost.

Looking at Mysha and Janie's posts with fresh eyes I am remembering 8 years ago when Dean had no symptoms and began spending more time on the computer. With an open mind I can see him now and believe it looks like Aspergers hiding behind long hair and avoiding faces. Aspergers is something that can have a sudden onset at puberty. This changes the dynamic a great deal without eliminating all previous assumptions. Thank you all, this will be explored during an appointment Friday.

Rob's most annoying autistic artifact is speaking at auditorium levels, anywhere. He is a natural Tim Conway comic who can fill a room with uncontrollable laughter. I'm jealous and shy but he is completely confident.

No Asperger's here. Dean is coming out of a simple but extreme neurosis that exaggerated hiding with embarrassment due to a digestive issue. He is back at school half days and far more communicative. Robert was the one who didn't speak until a blow to the left parietal lobe that rendered instant speech at the age of six. While I struggle, he is a talented teacher and writer.

This is really more about me than you, but I need to be sure someone said it. I've read your posts in the past, but I can't recall enough now and don't as yet have the energy to read back. But:

I have a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. I don't normally look people in the eye, as most people scream so loud with their expressions that I'd rather read their lips, which shows enough of their facial expression to read those peripherally (spelling?). Someone on a little girl's case at one point made the very smart observation that people will often ask or expect different things from what they want: E.g. do parents really need their child to clean the plate, or just for the child to eat enough?

So, what I need to say at the moment, just in case it's relevant, is that it pays to be careful to check what your target is: Does your child need to make eye contact? Or would it be OK to just read the face, or just face the person talking? Or is conversation the important bit, even if it goes sideways? (But if not a relevant remark, just forget about it.) Most faces are intense, and at times I'd rather not look at them too much for fear of missing what people are saying. I sometimes wonder if I could have practised with that face program the Commodore 64 used to have. (It was clearly a face, but it had few details/expression. And it was clearly not human, taking away a lot of time pressure.)

Oh, and as in most cases: Don't fight the monster when it's there. Fight it when it isn't there, so there's less pressure and more preparation time.

Wow, Rap! When do you get released to go leap tall buildings in a single bound?

Seriouly, great to hear the surgery went well. Pretty amazing to me that you are able to walk that far already, especially with minimal use of a cane.

Donuel, I have a couple of adults in my practice with what formerly was termed Asperger's. I don't know where on the spectrum Dean is. I do know both of them can get obsessively engaged with computers, software, coding, gaming, etc.

Probably complicates things a bit at this stage of your son's life in trying to impose interventions - teenager and all that.