Friday, December 2, 2011

One Last Chance...

Let us all congratulate our visionary leaders once again for extending the Constituent Assembly term for another six months.

We have already had four comrade prime ministers and four extensions so far, but even a rough draft of the constitution appears nowhere in sight.

The Supreme Court tells our netas that they can’t keep on extending the CA forever. This is their final chance to get things right or go for a referendum.

Else, they can all go back to their home districts and rule like a feudal lord. After all, most of them have been acting like one anyway.

Some of our netas think that the Supreme Court has no right to interfere with them because the CA represents the people and only we, the people can decide what we want to do with the CA rey.

Thanks guys, you do make us proud. Thank you for promoting massive corruption and culture of impunity. It has really helped common folks hagi!

If we were given a chance to decide, then we would rather want local elections and even do away with the national government.

Dr Saheb is competent enough to run the show himself but he needs people for his call center. I think we can hire thousands of young folks if we only got rid of all the mantris.

Let’s just have a Prez to meet foreign ambassadors and share doodh-chiya with the bideshis. And our prime minister can be like a supervisor at the call center, making sure the customer service specialists are taking the calls.

I think that would be really productive than just attending exhibitions and cutting ribbons here and there.

We got rid of Lord Vishnu and thought things would be better. Now, we are stuck with great change makers who seem to be inspired by Lord Voldemort.

The only folks who are better off than they were five years ago are our ‘honest’ netas and ‘competent’ civil servants. For the rest of us, everything from masu to vegetables to micro bus fares go up every year.

Only 508 CA members were present to vote for or against the 601-member CA term extension. Where did the others go? Yes, we don’t have the full 601 top 1% earners in the nation kya. Some of them are in jail for misusing their diplomatic passports. Let’s all feel sorry for them!

Our former Prime Minister Madhav Kumar Nepal and even young turk Gagan Thapa and other ‘Nepali Tyam’ wallahs failed to show up on time and missed the voting session rey.

I guess they were kind of surprised to find the session start at angrezi tyam. But they should all be happy that they will get paid for another six months for not showing up on time anyway.

And no matter what they say about our veteran tennis champ Kamal dai, we have to give it up for the president of the ‘Lord Vishnu’ fan club. He and his friends as always voted against the extension. At least, no one can blame him for being an opportunist. He sticks to his guns and his tennis racquet.

Our thulo netas have signed another (six-point) agreement so that the majority would vote for the extension. I think they could probably save the environment if they just shook hands and maybe hugged each other instead of wasting the laser printer’s toner and paper.

After all, our political parties have never disagreed when it comes to skimming the development budget and they always like to patch up and mint money whenever it comes to them tender sender.

Let us not feel sorry for our police-wallahs in Sudan. They fought the so-called civil war with bamboo sticks and outdated weapons anyway.

Our major political parties have agreed to form a national consensus government within the next two weeks.

Who are we kidding? Wouldn’t things have gone smoothly if our comrade chairman had formed a national consensus government then instead of wasting our taxpayers’ money and three and half years doing nothing but flying around the world?

Dr Saheb had no choice when it came to the formation his jumbo cabinet. That’s what he said and I guess we have to believe him because he has a PhD and only eats roti and saag!

So who gets to head the national consensus government? We already have had four prime ministers and thanks to their inflated-egos, they wouldn’t want to be just a ‘mantri’ anymore.

Since this is the last time, the CA chairman can sell raffle tickets to all his fellow members and we can telecast the ‘PM and mantris’ lucky drawing live on TV. We can ask Jimmy Carter to come back again and pick the winners from the box. At least this time, it would be as fair as it gets.

Published today @ Republica ko 'The Week' .. and thanks for the edit hai... and for those great 'writers' who believe that their work should not be edited... please go @#$! yourself ... hehe!