Be Willing to Fall Apart: Kintsukuroi + Transformation

12 Laws of Transformation • 40 Days to Personal Revolution

What if you gave up control? What if— instead of struggling— you learned to let go and ALLOW? Would you be happier?

We can't control anything in life, and as soon as we accept this simple (albeit terrifying) fact, we can experience true freedom. Being willing to come apart does not (necessarily) mean having a complete breakdown in public— although it might. Being willing to come apart does not mean that you have to turn into a puddle on the bathroom floor— although it might. Being willing to come apart means that you stop struggling and start allowing.

Easier said than done.

The truth is, no matter how much we struggle and try to make things work, we can not force flow. For flow to exist in life, we have to get out of the way. This means that we have to allow our ego to step aside, and lets things happen naturally.

Every time I have ever tried to force something to happen, I have paid a price. Instead of things working out, force causes things to shatter. Force causes relationships to shatter.

Kintsukuroi is a Japanese art that literally means "golden repair”. When a piece of pottery is broken, kintsukuroi repairs it with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver or platinum, often resulting in a piece that is even more beautiful than the orginla.

As a philosophy, kintsukuroi treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. It is similar to the principles of wabi-sabi, or an embracing of the flawed or imperfect.

What if we treated ourselves and our transformation process this way? What if— instead of beating ourselves up for our mistakes or for the times we came apart— we celebrated our undoings and unraveling as part of our beauty? As humans, we are perfectly imperfect after all.

Sometimes we have to break down to break through. Sometimes we have to let things shatter so that we can put them back together in a way that is more beautiful than before. Sometimes things need to unravel so that we can put them back together (unravel the patriarchy, anyone?).

It’s time to let go of what doesn’t work for you. It’s time to give up control and get out of the way so that the universe can move through you. It’s time to let the vase shatter so that you can put that shit back together with gold. Allow the good things to come in and stop holding on to the things that don’t work. It may feel like letting go would be a death, but small deaths and unraveling are simply the beginning of a new path.

Remember— the best time to come apart is when you are surrounded by a kickass community of badass people who are ready to hold you up. Don’t think about. Just let go, always do your best, and allow the universe to support you.