I don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s been a long time since they had a baby. Having a shower is mainly about getting together with friends and family, and having a fun party where you can take pictures to show you’re kid when they’re older that they were loved and celebrated before they were even born. At least that’s my take on it. I had one for each daughter.

Hum. I’ve never heard of only having a shower for the first kid. I’ve been to several showers for the third or fourth kid and didn’t think twice about bringing a gift. I usually brought gifts that they could ALWAYS use more of, like onesies or their brand choice of diapers, along with a congratulatory card. I can usually find something cheap but useful (like, under $10), and let their moms/sisters/best friends spoil them with the good stuff.

@Misswhowedding: I just got invited to one and the husband is throwing it for his wife. And they just wrote my first name on the invite and didn’t send it to my house, sent it to someone else’s to give to me.

@barbie86: I think you are reading in meaning that is not there: I did not say that those who decline shower invitations are lacking in kindness and generosity; but that it is the hostess’s duty to limit her invitations to those whose kindness and generosity aligns with her own — people who also want to shower the recipient, lest she be perceived as extorting gifts on the recipient’s behalf.

Your kindness and generosity, obviously, comes in a form that is not aligned with the desire to participate in showers. No need to take offense at that.