Control, control, control—that is why we chase a man. We don't know how to attract the love we want and so we have to find ways to force it, control it, make it happen, and force a man to like us, commit to us and be with us.

We stalk him on social media.

Text him just to say hi.

We put on an image, we try to be sweet, nice and do things for him.

We aggressively try to be nice if you know what I mean—trying hard to impress him, convince him and win him over.

All of those are the exact opposite of feminine energy whose foundation is emotional freedom. You aren't free—therefore he pushes away from the prison you are in of control.

And we control because we are disconnected from our Feminine power and because inside we allow fear and desperation to be the only means we USE to get love. It's unattractive—and no woman in her masculine energy is going to attract the sort of masculine man she wants.

That's when men pull away, ghost us, make convenient excuses like saying "he really wants to see you but he just had a family emergency or he has been super busy lately." Or maybe he does see you for coffee, or invites you to hang, or may even till take you to dinner one last time… but its clear he's no longer excited or making an effort and you somehow feel you've been put in the booty call or friend zone.

Masculine men are not attracted to Masculine energy in women. Men don't like to be controlled, chased, pursued...

How attracted would you be to a guy who takes 2 and a half hours to do his hair, nails and makeup before seeing you, who expects you to send him flowers and chocolates, and wants you to make all the plans and be the man?

No problem there with anyone doing it, I am saying that if you are the Feminine energy—you will be attracted to masculine energy (and this goes beyond gender).

Feminine energy, the real feminine energy, not the outer fake feminine energy a lot of people are teaching nowadays, triggers intense attraction in men.

And knowing how to differentiate between them can mean night and day in saving you precious years of your life—so you can make room for the right men in your life?

It's vital to understand what type of man you are with and where he is at in life and why certain men will make you feel in certain ways—and to know if you are truly compatible with this man or not.

After all we have a lot of clients who want to honor their family reproductive years and not waste time on the wrong partner.

A man that isn't aligned to you is a man you will never quite feel like a woman with, and will not be able to give you what you want. But once you find a man that is—then everything begins to work and flow, there is ease and peace, fulfillment and happiness...

The best revenge is to diffuse the need to revenge and refocus all of your energy on having everything you desire and want.

Recently in conversations with clients things like these would come up:

But I gave him so much—and now I want to take it back.

But she benefited so much by being with me, I feel used.

And while we never bypass those emotions, we process them and learn to be with them—I want to offer you a thought. The core pain here is the feeling of being replaced and left behind. Of being used and then discarded… and the focus is off our own power of creation which is in you at all times.

At all times you can (after processing and being with your emotions) move your focus into creating for yourself… opening doors for yourself, getting bigger and better.

The best revenge is a well lived, extremely fulfilling life—full of self-forgiveness, lessons learned and achieved expansion, joy, love relationship and so much more...

This is the secret alchemy of transmuting fear into creation and power.

If you are afraid of being left behind—refocus and move forward at higher speeds with more powerful direction. Create for yourself without waiting for anyone to acknowledge.

Be happy you gave to them, be happy they benefited, and now give to yourself, create openings and expand. Healthy things grow and blossom.

You are never replaceable to your own soul and from your soul comes the power of life to create, care for you, and attract to you everything you desire.

Don’t use threats to leave or end things, unless you are truly ready to walk away.

Ultimatums Don't Work

"He keeps talking to his exes and I've told him he better stop or else!""He hasn't called me in 2 days, when he does I am going to ignore his call and make him pay for it.""He thinks he can get away with that? I am going to let him have it!"

Being harsh, forceful, aggressive, vengeful—will never work with a man (it doesn’t work on us either!). First of all it's forceful, it's trying to force him, which is masculine and disconnected. You can choose to accept or reject, stay or leave, but coming at him and telling him off is being his mother, not his muse and it just won't work— IT WILL BACKFIRE. This is a habit a lot of us women use to deal with our hurt and pain and to "GET" our way by controlling and forcing others. I get it, it's a habit we've learned in life to survive, but it’s not a habit that sustains partnership long term.

You can become a woman that is easy for a man to lose so much so he feels it and steps up his game. You do that by learning to value yourself, learning the art of attracting abundance in options of quality men (hint we teach you how) and the power of walking away from what isn't for you… however punishing him, reacting on him, passive aggressive behavior, threats and ultimatums do the opposite of what you want. You can address a situation with vulnerability and understanding and then choose to stay or leave.

Punishing a man will never work ladies, punitive behavior doesn’t inspire love. Feminine boundaries set through inner strength coming from self esteem are the high value way to go.

If only someone threw us a “real bone” when it comes to learning how to actually do relationship. Relationship or the art of relating to each other is the prerequisite to succeeding at companionship, closeness, commitment, safety and excitement within intimate partnership.

How do you do intimacy?

How emotionally available are you really?

Can you respect your partner’s boundaries? Inspire respect yourself?

How do you communicate?

How do you show up whole instead of a “black hole” sucking out all the good inside your relationship?

We think feelings are all we need but we all know how quickly feelings change with unmet needs, objectification, boundary violation, misinterpretation and more.

Our brain loves to pine instead of grow. To long for instead of mature in Love. Fantasies of relationship or marriage feel good, but the real thing, done well, is so much better.