Listen hun, your Gucci bag and Burbury scarf aren’t fooling anyone. Sophisticated shoppers, the ones you’re pretending to be, they know better. According to a recent study, the elite among us skip past the logos and instead focus on subtle cues like distinctive designs and details to figure out who’s truly high brow. [More]

Good news, everyone! I don’t have an aging hulk of a CRT television in my living room anymore. No, I have a high definition television, thanks to the power of my mind. At least, that’s what a recent study tells me will happen if I wish hard enough.

One of the first studies of the recent market splat found that the investors most likely to be crushed thought they were investing for the long haul, only to be forced into cashing out at the worst possible time. According to the study, cleverly titled “When Everyone Runs for the Exit,” there are only two good ways to react to a liquidity crisis: hold onto your portfolio and trust that it will recover, or fold immediately to limit your losses.

Bottled water isn’t any safer than tap water, and could actually be more dangerous, according to a report from the Government Accounting Office. The big difference lies in the government regulator: tap water is covered by the Safe Water Drinking Act, administered by the aggressive and powerful Environmental Protection Agency, while bottled water falls under the Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act overseen by the powerless anything-goes industry-lovers over at the Food and Drug Administration.

Strangers are more likely to return lost wallets containing photos of cute babies, according to British researchers. The scientists sprinkled 240 wallets across Edinburgh last year with pictures of either a smiling baby, a puppy, a “happy family,” or a “contended elderly couple.” It turns out nobody cares about your pooch, retired parents, or smugly superior family life. But that cute wittle baby? Apparently it triggers a “compassionate instinct towards vulnerable infants that people have evolved to ensure the survival of future generations.” Finally, an everyday use for evolution!

Those green reusable bags that are all the rage? The plastics industry this week released a study concluding that they are nothing more than bacterial totes, which might be scary if it were true. BarfBlog looked at the study’s methodology and then ate through its main points.

Sallie Mae‘s 2009 study of credit card use shows that students just love binging on plastic. Kids these days have more than four cards on average, and most of them carry a balance pushing $3,000. Many don’t tell their parents, and almost a fifth graduate with more than $7,000 of debt. This is how meltdowns start…

A study from Fair Isaac confirms that even the best borrowers are seeing their credit lines slashed as banks move to boost profitability during the recession. 16% of Americans have seen their credit lines reduced by an average of $2,200, and of them, 11% had no late payments or negative marks on their credit report.

Shampooing every day isn’t only wasteful, it can also harm your hair, according to NPR. Back in the olden days, when waterfalls passed for high-pressure showers, people would shampoo only once a month. That wasn’t enough, but if you shampoo more than three times a week, you’re actually making your hair oilier because your glands need to work overtime to replace the natural oils you’re washing away.

More than half of the baby productsrecently tested by the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics were found to contain trace levels of formaldehyde and dioxane. Though the study didn’t accuse Johnson & Johnson of dumping barrels of the potential carcinogens directly into their baby products, the dangerous chemicals can form during the manufacturing process as other ingredients break down. The full list of 48 tested baby shampoos, lotions, soaps, and wipes—including some well-known products you probably have on your shelf—inside.

Almost nobody reads consumer contracts before signing, according to two separate academic studies. One study from NYU included a sample contract that bound the signer to stay until dismissed, do push-ups on command, and shock other participants, even if they “screamed, cried, and asked for medical assistance.” 95.6% considered the contract for an average of two seconds and then gladly signed.

Have you heard, cellphones are deadly. Science told us so this week when Dr. Ronald B. Herberman of the esteemed University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute realized that cellphones emit death rays that fry your brain and turn you into a baby-eating Communist, or give you cancer or whatever. Dr. Despair isn’t a downer though! Inside, 10 practical ways to keep your precious little brain safe from those ubiquitous chirping cancer slabs…