Contents

Biography

Early Life

Edie led a bit of a troubled childhood, such as spending her teenage years with the "freaks" out by the loading docks where she would smoke ("Every Day a Little Death"), and having a mother who did some time in jail. At one one point, Edie had a court appointed social worker by the name of Mrs. Muntz. Edie recalls her as being very strict, showing no mercy, so much so that when her mother made parole she was actually happy to see her. ("Come Back to Me") Edie comes from a family with a lot of musicians, like the Von Trapps; however, her brother overdosed. ("You'll Never Get Away from Me") Edie grew up without a father, resulting in her promiscuous behavior later in life. ("That's Good, That's Bad") Edie's poor childhood also leads her to an adulthood of promiscuous behavior, becoming known as a predator and seducing the likes of her handyman, her tennis pro, and a priest. ("Pilot") Edie was also married twice. ("Ah, But Underneath") The only good thing she is able to say about her first husband is that he taught her how to bluff, having been bad in bed, so she had to fake a lot of orgasms. ("The Ladies Who Lunch") Her second husband was named Umberto Rothwell. ("Ah, But Underneath"), and at one point she had a son. ("Pilot") Edie had a c-section, and it left her with a scar. ("Dress Big") Once a week since she was a child Edie would confess her sins to Father O'Malley, and then he would tell her to go out into the world and sin no more. ("Sweetheart, I Have to Confess")

When Edie divorced her first husband, Charles McLain, she gave him full custody of their son Travers because she wanted him to have the best life possible. She knows that doesn't make her a good mother, but believes that it at least makes her a realistic one. ("My Husband, the Pig")

Because of her behavior, Edie was never able to form friendships with females. This continued even when she moved onto Wisteria Lane, having been rejected by the close-nit group of housewives - Susan, Lynette, Bree, and Gabrielle. However, she eventually formed a friendship with neighborhood busybody Martha Huber who, though often cruel, offensive, and downright mean, was the first real friend she ever had. ("Move On") At one point Edie had a "special friend" named Javier who was removed from her house in handcuffs. ("Ah, But Underneath") One year, at the Hendersons' Christmas party, Edie found herself underneath the mistletoe with none other than Karl Mayer. They were both plastered on eggnog, and Karl ultimately began to feel Edie up. This is something that went unknown to his wife, Susan, who was already not on the best of terms with Edie. ("Move On")

Edie Britt's favorite moment of every day was her arrival at the construction site of her new home, because she knew what was about to happen. Her sudden appearance was always sure to generate a few appreciative glances, a few lascivious looks, and some downright ogling. Sadly for Edie, the one man she wanted most to notice her paid her no attention at all.

When Mike Delfino moves to Wisteria Lane, Edie immediately sets her sights on him. Wanting to introduce herself, she whips together a sausage Puttanesca, but finds that she'll be having competition when it comes to winning Mike's affections. Edie's rival, Susan Mayer, has also set her sights on him, and the two ladies meet Mike together. However, he admits that he can't let them in for now, having stuff to do, and so they all part ways. Edie later stops by Mike's house with some ambrosia, claiming to have made too much, and he lets her in for a drink. Susan arrives shortly after wanting to ask Mike out, but due to Edie's intimidation, she claims to have a clog instead. Knowing this isn't true, she assures Mike that she doesn't mind him going over to help. As such, Susan and her daughter Julie quickly jam the pipes with popsicle sticks. The following day, Susan learns from Martha Huber, who will be watching Edie's son for the night, that Edie will be having a "gentleman friend" over. Susan becomes depressed thinking this is Mike, and plans to stop by Edie's place with her measuring cup for sugar to interrupt. When Edie doesn't answer the door, she invites herself in, but quickly sees from the discarded clothes, chocolates, music, and lit candles that she's too late. Picking up Edie's panties, she throws them behind her, which then accidentally knocks over a candle, lighting the house ablaze. Susan tries to put the fire out, but it's of no use, and so she flees the sight while Edie figures out what's going on. Firetrucks arrive shortly after to put the fire out, and Edie cries over the loss of her house. Meanwhile, Susan is relieved to find out that the man Edie had over wasn't Mike after all. ("Pilot")

Edie and Martha rummage through the remains of the former's home, who is depressed after losing everything. Martha reveals that she has begun accepting clothing donations for Edie, who doesn't like the idea of wearing other people's scraps. Martha then comes across a measuring cup, which Edie points out isn't actually hers, leading Martha to become suspicious while Edie instructs she just dig around for jewelry. Edie later drives past Mike and Susan, the latter of which is planning a dinner with their new neighbor. Edie manages to guilt them into inviting her, claiming that she's been living off of fastfood as of the late. As the dinner commences, things go well for Edie, who uses Mike's dog Bongo as a way to score points. She also tells Susan that deep down she always believed Susan was going to get back together with her ex-husband, Karl, and so Julie swoops in by bringing up Edie's poor track record with men. As such, Edie goes back to getting along with Bongo, and so a jealous Susan damps gravy over herself to catch his attention. However, this results in Bongo swallowing one of Susan's earrings, and Mike rushes him to the emergency room. Edie revels in Mike being upset with Susan, and stays behind to clean up everything. While doing so, she remains oblivious to the gun, maps, pictures of the street residents, and stash of money that Mike has hidden. ("Ah, But Underneath")

Edie and Susan continue their war for Mike, with Edie continuously going outside during the day to wash her car. Dressing in skimpy, cotton clothing, drenching herself in soapy water and blaring her music loud, it gets Mike's attention as he does his own yard work, something that doesn't settle well for Susan. Thanks to Julie holding onto a piece of Mike's junk mail, it gives Susan a reason to visit him, to Edie's dismay. She watches, bitterly, as Mike and Susan hit things off and make plans to see a movie. Edie retorts to Martha'shouse where she complains about Susan, revealing to Martha how they're fighting for Mike's affection. This leads Martha to piece together that Susan burned down Edie's house, something she proceeds to confront Susan about. Martha decides to subtly blackmail Susan with the information, but when it gets out of control, Susan and Julie conspire to steal back the measuring cup. This works out mostly, but Edie arrives home from work early and so Susan is forced to distract her. This means canceling her date with Mike and having Edie go to the movies with him instead. ("Who's That Woman?")

Susan does eventually succeed in winning a date with Mike, and so she brags to Edie when on her way over to his place. While Edie is initially jealous, this goes away when she witnesses Mike re-schedule the date because he has company in the form of Kendra Taylor. Edie is also currently listing the Youngs' house, with Paul having decided to move from Wisteria Lane. It doesn't settle well with him that they'll have to disclose Mary Alice's suicide, but what settles less with him is when he discovers Edie owns matching stationary to that of the note in which Mary Alice killed herself over. Paul goes to his PI Mr. Shaw about this, who leaves him to contemplate what should happen next with Edie. Meanwhile, Edie holds an open house which Mike and Kendra attend, and Susan follows them to. Edie overhears plans of Mike taking Kendra to The Saddle Ranch, and so she and Susan follow them there that night. Edie admits to rooting for Susan to win Mike over Kendra because that way it'd be easier to steal Mike away. Later on, Edie decides to ride the mechanical bull which pretty much exposes Susan, though Edie had run into Mike and admitted what they were doing earlier. While Mike clears things up with Susan about Kendra and how they're just old friends, Edie spends time at the bar before eventually meeting Mr. Shaw. The two share drinks with Edie being unaware of Shaw's true intentions with her. ("Anything You Can Do")

Edie confronts Martha over having $40 stolen from her purse, which results in a falling out between the two ladies. While Edie is upset with Martha stealing from her, Martha refuses to house someone who has been spying on her (regarding her financial difficulties of the late.) She tells Edie to be gone by the time she returns from visiting her sister, but Edie decides to leave that day. Meanwhile, Paul decides to have Mr. Shaw kill Edie for delivering the blackmail note to Mary Alice, though he still would like to know why she did it in the first place. Shaw takes Edie to a secluded location that he claims to want to turn into an apartment complex. Edie, however, thinks the area would work better as a strip mall, and reveals that she ran some numbers. She pulls out the stationary used for the note to Mary Alice, but it then comes up that Edie actually stole the stationary from Martha. Shaw learns Edie moved in with Martha after Mary Alice's suicide, meaning Martha had to have been responsible for the blackmail note. He tells Paul this, who feels bad for nearly having an innocent woman killed. However, he tells Shaw to keep his money and proceeds to kill Martha himself, after getting the answers he desired. ("Guilty")

When Gabrielle Solis decides to host a fashion show for charity, Edie agrees to be apart of it, only to find out that all of the good dresses have already been claimed. She attempts ripping the label off of Susan's to wear hers, though this doesn't fly. Lynette Scavo suggests that Edie wear Martha's dress, for she hasn't shown up. Edie is annoyed with how hideous the dress is, and people start to wonder where Martha is. Edie states that the last she heard, Martha went to visit her sister; however, in reality, Martha is currently being buried by Paul Young. When the fashion show begins, Edie reveals herself to the other ladies, having made modifications to the dress that involve showing much more skin. They're appalled by this, but it's too late to do anything about it. Edie makes her way down the runway, with Tom Scavo's description of the dress now being entirely inaccurate. Being the last to go before Susan, she stands by as her rival is forced onto the stage. In the process of mere minutes, Susan's dress has been ripped apart by Helen Rowland, thus humiliating her. Edie revels in this, commenting that she's never looked better, and is sure to clap with everyone else. ("Suspicious Minds")

Needing to get into Martha'shouse, Edie stops by Lynette's wondering if perhaps her former friend left Lynette with a spare key. Lynette informs Edie that Martha didn't, to Edie's dismay. She explains to Lynette that Martha kicked her out so fast that she forgot to get her laptop, and there's just some stuff on there that she doesn't want anyone else to see. Though this makes things a bit awkward, Lynette wishes Edie luck; however, the conversation doesn't end there. Edie notes that Lynette is looking better than normal, and so she reveals that she hired her children a nanny. Edie is impressed, but Lynette states that it's not all it's cracked up to me, expressing jealousy in that her children like the nanny more than her. Edie proceeds to share a piece of her past, how she had a strict social worker, and so Lynette takes this story into consideration with how she wants to handle her current dilemma. Edie proceeds to leave, still needing to find a key, and that evening she has the police help her get in. ("Come Back to Me")

Edie meets and greets Martha's sister, Felicia Tilman, who has just arrived on Wisteria Lane. Quickly, Edie comes to see the family resemblance between the two women, and Felicia informs her that she's certain Martha is dead. Nonetheless, search parties take place, first with everyone meeting up on the Lane for Edie to share a few works. Lynette and Gabrielle take note of how Edie found a way to make it about her, though Lynette, Susan, and Bree join in the search party later on. Martha's car is later found, and so the search parties move over to the woods near by. Edie is annoyed when led to believe Martha's body has been found, only for it to be Lynette and Bree excited that Mike told Susan that he loves her. Later, Edie is brought as Karl Mayer's date to Julie's birthday, to Susan's dismay. Edie performs karaoke, with Susan set to perform next, but she decides to slip in the reveal that back when Susan and Karl were married, Karl groped Edie at the Hendersons' Christmas party underneath the mistletoe. Susan is enraged and winds up going off on Karl during her performance. Karl decides to see fit to leave, whereas Edie just revels in the scene that has been created. The following day, Martha's body is discovered. ("Move On")

Edie's insurance company has finally written her a check to rebuild her house, and so she sits down with Mike to discuss construction, wanting him for a plumber. However, she soon gets a call from Felicia and learns that Martha's body has been found. She's present when Felicia lets the neighborhood know all the grizzly details, but when finding out Felicia has no plans to throw any sort of funeral, she decides to spread Martha's ashes at Torch Lake herself. She visits Susan, Lynette, Bree and Gabrielle during their weekly poker game, inviting them to come, though they all make up excuses to not. However, Susan soon learns from Felicia that Martha kept journals, meaning she would have documented the revelation of Susan burning down Edie's home. Realizing she's going to have to confess to Edie, Susan stops be the construction, and winds up agreeing to go with Edie to spread Martha's ashes instead. Edie knows Susan has some sort of ulterior motive, but decides there's not time to push her for it. Once getting to the lake though, Edie breaks down in tears when deciding Susan is actually a true friend, one of which she has been very ungrateful towards. Not wanting this to get even more out of hand, Susan finally confesses to burning down Edie's house, who then, enraged, dumps Martha's ashes all over her. They return to Wisteria Lane where Edie has decided to not go to the police; however, she wishes to be invited to the girls' poker games and decides to hose Susan down so that Martha's final resting place can be looking over the Lane. ("Every Day a Little Death")

Paul changes his mind about selling his house, thus meaning Edie is out a commission. However, she holds onto his key, planning to return it the following day. She later attends a poker game at Lynette's where she shares the latest gossip regarding Maisy Gibbons, who was arrested for prostitution, and afterwards talks to Lynette about Susan. Lynette shares that Susan is going through trouble right now with Mike, and Edie is offended to have not been included in this. Lynette points out that Edie isn't the most supportive friend towards Susan, and so she decides to change this by visiting her. She understands Susan and what it's like to have her heart stomped on, and so she decides to take Susan for a night out. Susan mopes about how she's sure Mike didn't kill Martha, suspecting someone like Paul to have instead. Edie then recalls how shady Paul was being with Felicia earlier and how he really tried to pin Martha's murder on Mike. Remembering she still has a key to Paul's house, Edie decides to break in with Susan and snoop around for any evidence to prove Paul did kill Martha. They find a video of Mary Alice back when she was known as "Angela", but are unable to watch it because Paul comes home early. As such, the two ladies hide behind the couch, with Edie eventually revealing herself to Paul. She claims to desire him, and makes out with him order to distract him so Susan can escape. The twist is that Paul is actually flattered, and continues to make out with Edie even when she suggests it best she go. ("The Ladies Who Lunch")

Edie joins the girls when Susan reveals that Mike gave her a note that explains everything; however, Susan is hesitant to open it, given that she's unsure she can trust Mike. Edie's new contractor, Bill Cunningham, drives by wanting to discuss plans with Edie's new master bathroom. Edie tells the girls that the two of them are seeing each other, but this turns out to not be how Bill sees it when he later stops by to ask Susan out. Susan is unsure about this, not wanting to hurt Edie, so she puts him on hold so she can talk to Edie about it first. Edie is thankful that Susan was considerate enough to ask, but still tells Susan not to go out with him anyway. When Susan argues this, Edie points out how hard Susan makes it for her to like her, and begs that Susan just listen to her for once. Susan gives in to this, and the two of them, as well as other Wisteria Lane residents, attend the funeral for Carlos Solis'mother. After talking with Julie, Susan winds up changing her mind and agreeing to go out with Bill anyway. Edie finds out about this though, and confronts the two at the restaurant they go to. Edie ends her friendship with Susan, promising to hate her forever, and proceeds to fire Bill as well. ("There Won't Be Trumpets")

Edie oversees the construction of her home when Paul approaches her, confronting her about why she was really at his house that one night. At first she continues to lie, claiming to just be returning his key, but when talk of getting the police involved comes up, she finally admits that Susan forced her to. She reveals how Susan is obsessed with Mary Alice's suicide and even mentions the blackmail note, dead baby, and Mary Alice's real name "Angela" that's been discussed; however, Paul learns that Susan didn't have enough time to watch a videotape she had discovered. Time passes, and Edie is approached by Lynette who is growing paranoid regarding her husband'sex going to work for him. Seeing Edie as a predator, she seeks advice, and so Edie tells her to make Annabel her best friend - keep your friends close, but keep your enemies even closer. Edie later attends Carlos' going-away-to-jail party with Felicia. She revels in how scandalous the party is becoming, following incidents regarding both Bree and Gabrielle, respectively. ("Fear No More")

When dining out, Edie notices Bree in the company of George Williams. She takes notice of the two's mannerisms, giving Bree a wave as they come to acknowledge that they're both there. As Bree begins to spoon-feed her friend, however, she notices the certain snarky looks Edie is giving her, realizing how odd this behavior can be perceived. She confronts Edie about this later on, who thinks Bree and George are having an affair. While Bree promises that she and George are only friends, Edie believes that this is merely payback for Rex having an affair with Maisy Gibbons. She also comes to judge Bree a bit when learning that of all the men Bree could have, she chose a pharmacist, but attention is redirected to the fact that Bree isn't having an affair at all. She claims that George is just friend - a very good listener that she shares her hopes, dreams, and inner most thoughts to. She insists Edie believe this, which she then does, but points out that sex aside it is still pretty much an affair. Edie points out that Bree is getting pretty intimate with a man that isn't her husband, and while Bree points out that everyone needs someone to talk to, Edie wonders why that someone can't be Rex. Her point being made, she walks away. ("Sunday in the Park with George")

While Edie's favorite time of the day is going to the construction of her home where she receives endless admiration from her crewmen, she still longs for the affection of Mike Delfino. Having some leftover donuts that she bought her construction team, she uses them as an excuse to stop by Mike's place. However, she quickly comes to learn that Mike and Susan are back together, the latter of which continuously gloats, all from being back together with Mike and to even planning to move in with him. She also shames Edie a bit for still trying to come on to him. Edie then joins the girls where they discuss how happy they are for how well Susan is doing. Edie being the only one to disagree, decides to remind the girls of the numerous unanswered questions that still regard Mike. While he only killed in self defense, he still has an unexplained gunshot wound and Martha's jewelry was discovered in his garage. The ladies, thanks to Edie, decide to host an intervention for Susan to discuss these concerns. While Susan is thankful that her friends care so much about her, she refuses to listen to them because after going through so much pain, Mike actually makes her happy. She gives a speech about this, eventually winning the ladies' blessings, all to Edie's dismay. She deems it the worst intervention ever. Later on, Edie passes Carlos Solis, waving a "SOLD" sign as she has just sold the Mullins' house. Because Carlos is currently after Gaby, having learned he may not be the father of her unborn child, he steals Edie's car to drive after her. ("Goodbye for Now")

Edie stops by to introduce herself to Wisteria Lane's newest residents: Betty Applewhite and her son, Matthew. She's been curious to meet them ever since they bought the Mullins' old house over the phone, and she suggests giving them the realtor walk-through and letting them know about the secret flaws that remain. The mother and son act suspiciously, however, not wanting Edie to go inside of their house. Betty insists that everything is fine, thanking Edie for stopping by. Edie gives them her card nonetheless, telling Betty to call anytime, but upon leaving it's clear that she finds something off about the Applewhites. Word soon gets out that Felicia Tilman has been attacked and carted off in an ambulance, and so Edie goes around the street to warn the neighbors. She stops by Mike'shouse where Susan is currently being held hostage by Zach Young. She warns Susan of Felicia's attacker and admits to not wanting to be alone since her construction crew doesn't come in until later. She asks Susan if she can stay with her at Mike's place for a little while, but because Zach currently has a gun pinned against her back, Susan is forced to tell Edie to leave. Edie is disgusted by Susan's attitude towards her, and calls her a bitch before leaving. ("One Wonderful Day")

Construction on Edie's house continues all the while Bree begins making preparations for Rex's funeral. When she is unable to come up with a church pianist, Edie recommends new neighbor, Betty Applewhite, who Bree is later able to convince play for the funeral. Susan stops by the Edie's construction site later on to speak to Mike, but Edie confronts her about her recent encounter with Zach Young, having just found out. Though she pretends to feel bad for Susan, wanting to know how she's doing, she is obviously more into the scandalous details, questioning if Susan had been pistol-whipped or slapped around. She argues that when someone takes someone else hostage they usually rough them up a little. Susan states that it wasn't like that, not even a little kicking, and so Edie steps aside to let Susan talk to Mike. Mike winds up confessing to Susan that years ago Mary Alice and Paul kidnapped a baby from a woman named Deirdre, who Mary Alice wound up killing. Edie then returns, having answered Mike's phone, revealing that it's the police. Mike learns that Zach's dead and is needed to identify the body; however, it turns out to not be him. Edie later attends Rex's funeral where Bree switches Rex's prep-school tie with Tom Scavo's, and then storms out. ("Next")

Susan spots her ex-husband, Karl, exiting Edie's recently completed home, fetching the newspaper. She goes to Julie about this, upset over Edie and Karl having a one night stand, but learns that they've been seeing each other ever since Julie's birthday party. Edie later approaches Susan in a small red outfit and roller-skates, ready to be confronted for her newly discovered relationship with Susan's ex. Susan is okay with it though, despite Edie contiously trying to goad her into expressing any anger that she might feel. When this fails, however, Edie reveals to Susan that Karl said she was the best sex he's ever had. Finally, Susan fights back by revealing to Edie that Karl said he's still in love with her; when she refused to get back together with him, that must have been why he chose to ask out Edie. She proceeds to leave, but now Edie is upset, and she roller-skates after Susan who is stopped at a cross-walk where children walk across the street. Edie demands Susan retract this statement and believes her to be a liar. She thinks that because Susan and Mike are officially over that Susan doesn't want anyone else to be happy. She leaves, but now Susan wants her to stop; as a result, when backing up her car, she accidentally hits Edie. Karl confronts Susan about this, revealing that Edie now has a broken tibia and cut herself with the thorns from the roses that Susan sent over. Karl also tells Susan that he and Edie have decided to move in together, but when Susan asks if he's in love with her, Karl admits to not knowing. However, he's never loved another woman the way that he loved Susan. ("You Could Drive a Person Crazy")

Growing paranoid over Julie spending too much time with Karl and Edie, Susan spies on them only to find that Julie and Edie are performing a musical duet while Karl records. Julie later explains to Susan that she and Edie are going to perform for church, despite it being an event for families, thus increasing Susan's jealousy. Edie and Julie practice more later on when Susan stops by unannounced, revealing that she's been taking piano lessons from Betty Applewhite and now wishes to take Edie's place. Edie and Susan get into an argument over this, but ultimately leave the decision to Julie. Julie, however, is obligated to pick Susan for being her mother, disappointing Edie. Karl confronts Susan about this later on since Edie was really excited to perform with Julie, and Susan later sees how much Edie really cares about Julie when seeing Edie coach Julie in vocal exercises just before the performance in the church. Just as they're about to go on, Susan stops everything beforehand to step down and apologize to Edie first. However, Edie notes that it's awfully convenient that Susan only decided to apologize now when she had left her guitar at home. Susan realizes this too, but tells Edie it really should be her up there. She goes to resume playing, but Edie reveals that she can also play the piano. This disappoints Susan, who still wanted to perform with Julie, but she allows "Aunt" Edie to go on stage. This blows up in Edie's face though, for she's pretty rusty with the piano and so the performance doesn't go too well. Karl knows Susan is reveling in this, but she denies this all the while recording. ("You'll Never Get Away from Me")

When one of the fliers for the missing Zach Young shows up in Edie's yard, she goes to Susan about this, who is currently putting them up in the park. Susan explains herself to Edie, how she's helping Mike find Zach so that they can all rest easy at night, but Edie doesn't think Mike would allow Susan to put his own son in jail. Susan is surprised that Edie knows Zach is Mike's biological son, and she reveals that Julie told Karl, who told her, and she then sent out a few emails. Susan sarcastically thanks Edie for her discretion, but Edie points out that Susan really would do anything to get Mike to love her; she mocks Susan, wondering how things would be when Zach finally comes home. She asks Susan if she would tuck him in at night, make him breakfast in the morning, and be careful to bob and weave as he tries to blow her head off. Susan asks Edie to just back off, admitting that they'll probably never find Zach anyway. Edie realizes that this means Susan will still come out looking like the perfect girlfriend, the conniving little shrew. She's impressed though, admitting to not knowing why they're not closer. ("My Heart Belongs to Daddy")

Betty stops by Edie's house when some of their mail is mixed up, and Edie is grateful for Betty stopping by to deliver it. She then recalls having some of Betty's mail in the kitchen and so she goes off to retrieve it, telling Betty to feel free to snoop around while she waits; however, Betty notices on the TV that an arrest has been made in the Melanie Foster murder. As such, she leaves before Edie comes back with her mail. Edie joins the girls' poker game later on where Bree reveals that Rex's body has finally been released by the police and that she'd like them to all come for a small reburial ceremony. Susan and Gabrielle are both perfectly willing to go, but Edie claims to be busy, disgusted by the fact that Bree plans to read a poem. Susan, quite literally, kicks some sense into her though, and so she agrees to attend. At the reburial, however, plans have now changed as Bree has come to learn some new information: Rex died having thought Bree poisoned him. Disgusted and refusing to spend all of eternity buried next to him, Bree has Rex's grave changed, and so Edie and the others follow Bree as she loses it over how betrayed she feels by her deceased husband. They watch as his coffin is lowered into the ground, and Bree throws her wedding in behind it. ("They Asked Me Why I Believe in You")

Paul Young has returned to Wisteria Lane, and the police is called with some of the residents believing that he is responsible for the murder of Martha Huber. They soon arrive, and people gather to watch as he is questioned. Edie is among them, and Ida Greenberg shows up, wanting to know what all she's missed. Edie catches her up, and Ida is shocked because she lives right behind him. Neighbor Alberta Fromme, meanwhile, had once given him her house key so that he could feet her cat; however, Edie states that she wins, recalling how she once made out with him. Susan tells the police that Paul confessed everything to Mike, as well as that Mike has Martha's old diaries for further evidence. Edie and everyone else then follow Susan and the police to Mike's place for questioning, but Mike denies all of this. He then asks to leave, having a job to get to, and so the police let him by. Susan is embarrassed, and Edie decides that someone might as well say it - she then asks what the hell Susan has been smoking, proceeding to leave with the rest of the crowd. ("I Wish I Could Forget You")

Following Susan and Mike's latest breakup, Edie joins the girls in comforting Susan, though Edie for more superficial reasons as she would like to see Susan breakdown into the mess that she normally does. Susan, however, believes she is pretty zen this time, but after further discussing, Edie realizes that she is actually numb. Later on though, Edie and Karl break up after Edie discovers a picture of Susan and Karl underneath their mattress, and so Karl heads over to Susan's to spend the night there, unable to bring himself to go to a motel. They share a bottle of wine and discuss what happened, eventually sleeping together. Julie is upset to discover this the following morning, but Karl wonders what the future holds for him and Susan. Susan doesn't want this to continue though, seeing it as two friends helping each other out, and so she sends Karl on his way. He winds up apologizing to Edie, buying her flowers and everything, which Edie later goes to Susan about. She tells Susan that this isn't a pleasant thing to say, but that whatever Susan did really helped, and so she is thankful for that. Susan is surprised, given what just happened between her and Karl, and Edie also returns the picture that Karl kept of him and Susan. She states that while grateful for what Susan did, it's important for Susan to know that Edie won. Whatever hold that Susan had on Karl is officially over, and so she can quit feeling smug and superior because Karl made his choice... and it's not Susan. Edie proceeds to leave, with Susan choosing to keep to herself the truth. ("Color and Light")

A poker game is held, which Edie attends, but Lynette is going to have to leave early due to work. She notes that otherwise "you-know-who" will have her head, which Edie and the girls know is her boss, Nina Fletcher. Bree notes that Nina is cutting into Lynette's social life, but Lynette points out that she needs the job unless there are any volunteers to raise her children. This talk of child abandonment reminds Edie, however, of Susan's current predicament with her biological father. She wonders when Susan plans to approach him, and so Susan reveals that there's help wanted at his shop; she plans to get a job there and slowly get him to like her before revealing the truth. Edie believes this to be an idiotic idea though, given that it relies on him liking her personality, which Edie believes to be an acquired taste. It's brought up that Susan has always wanted a father, which Gabrielle then points out how everyone needs a strong male rolemodel in their life. Edie states that she grew up without a father and turned out just find, but gets Lynette's point when asked what age she lost her virginity. ("That's Good, That's Bad")

When out jogging, Edie runs into both Mike and Betty and asks if either of them have seen the local paper yet. She proceeds to reveal that there's something on the man they caught the previous week, unaware that he is in fact Betty's secret son that she keeps locked in her basement, and the police are seeking help to identify who he is. Betty wonders if they know his name yet, but Edie reveals they don't even know if he can talk. Mike believes that they plan to just contain him in the psych ward until they know who he is, and Betty claims that she will rest better knowing that he's not just roaming the streets. The three then part ways, with Betty and her other son, Matthew, planning to get Caleb back. Meanwhile, Susan does get in touch with her birth father, Addison Prudy, but when his wife learns of her existence, she mistakes Susan for being Addison's mistress rather than his daughter. As such, she learns where Susan lives and spray-paints the word "WHORE" on Susan's garage door. Edie later drives past, in shock, but when Susan asks if Edie has anything to say, she admits that the garage door pretty much says it all. ("Coming Home")

Edie and Karl attend one of Bree's parties where, gathered in the kitchen, Gabrielle makes out with Tom, something that doesn't settle well for Lynette. Edie and the girls stay afterwards to help Bree clean up where there's increased tension between Lynette and Gaby, but Edie brings up the Applewhites and how they didn't show. She believes Betty to be weird, despite the others trying say that they're just "interesting", and Edie's suspicions for them only increase later on when she spots a man parked outside their home. He claims to be doing an appraisal on their house, enraging Edie because Wisteria Lane is her turf and she sold them that house. Curtis claims to just be doing his job, but Edie promises to be his worst nightmare if he crosses her. Later on, however, his body is later found in the trunk of his car outside of Betty's home. The police are called, and Edie is among the people discussing this. While Gabrielle was convinced this was Paul's doing, Susan defends him as looking just as shocked as her. Edie then mentions that she thinks it's the Applewhites that are responsible. She reveals having researched the dead guy and it turns out that no realtor in town knew who he was, meaning he lied to her. She also recalls how Betty bought the house sight-on-scene, and Gaby remembers they moved in during the night. Susan reveals she also heard noises coming from their basement, and the ladies all turn to Betty, giving a slight wave in order to not look suspicious to her. ("One More Kiss")

The local blood-drive is held in the Wisteria Park, and Edie attends with Susan, Lynette, Bree, and Gabrielle where they watch Betty and Matthew, the latter of whom just donated. Gaby notes that Betty has been a lot more friendly ever since the body was found in front of her house, to which Edie replies that she doesn't trust friendly women. Lynette tells Edie that that's okay since they don't trust her either. Susan states that she just knows the Applewhites have something to do with the dead body, and Bree wonders if they even know who he is. Susan states that the police are withholding details, and so Gaby suggests Bree call in a favor with her detective friend and have him poke around, something that Susan agrees with. Bree would rather not though, but Betty then approaches. She states that she heard Susan's birthday is coming up and suggests they all go out and celebrate. She then leaves, with Edie keeping a close eye on her. ("We're Gonna Be All Right")

When Edie wishes to enjoy an old war movie on television, Karl comes in and switches the channel over to sports. Having had it with being submissive to him, she lures him upstairs for foreplay, tying him to the bed. She suggests that what would make this better is whipped cream, and so she goes downstairs to get some, only to wind up detouring back to the television and covering her dessert in whipped cream instead, leaving Karl tied to the bed all the while. Later on, Bree calls the ladies over with dish on Betty Applewhite; however, Betty visits Bree beforehand where she explains everything to her, who Caleb is and the lengths she will go to protect him. As such, she blackmails Bree, having learned Andrew ran over and killed Juanita Solis. When Edie and the others arrive over for poker, wanting the dish on Betty, Bree tells them that there's been a change of plan, as Betty will now be joining them in their weekly game. This makes things uncomfortable for Edie and the others, as they remain oblivious to what information Betty is holding over their friend. ("There's Something About a War")

When Susan is in need of health insurance, Edie suggests she enter into a sham marriage. ("Silly People")

Edie and Susan confront Bree for inviting Betty to poker, wishing to know why all of a sudden their friend has changed her mind over the Applewhites. Bree remains coy with them, unable to explain that she's being blackmailed by Betty, and Edie begins to suspect that it has something to do with Betty's son, Matthew, and Bree's daughter, Danielle, currently seeing each other. Bree was unaware of this, but starts to get especially defensive when still being pressed to explain herself, and she tells the ladies that perhaps she overestimated their friendship. Later on, Susan approaches Edie and Karl when learning she's in need of better health insurance so that she can have an operation on her wandering spleen. Edie suggests that Susan find a man with good enough insurance and enter into a sham marriage. Karl is against the idea, but Susan's listening, and Edie eventually finds a gay man by the name of Gary Grantham who is also in need of a fake wife. Things go well, but Gary calls the wedding off at the order of his life partner, Steve, and so Susan is back to square one again. Finally, Karl offers to marry Susan because his own health care plan is great, but they decide to keep it from Edie, thinking that she would never approve. ("Silly People")

Valentine's Day is nearing, and Karl has made a reservation for himself and Edie at a nice restaurant. Edie, meanwhile, is calling Karl downstairs to clean up the mess that he has created in the living room. However, upon snooping around his briefcase, Edie discovers both and engagement ring and a prenuptial agreement. Not knowing that this is for Karl's sham marriage to Susan, Edie becomes convinced that Karl plans to pop the question at their Valentine's Day dinner. As it turns out, Susan and her new boyfriend, Dr. Ron, are having dinner at the same restaurant as Edie and Karl. Edie spots Susan and pulls her aside in order to gloat to her about how she's certain Karl is about to propose. Susan pieces together that Edie has been misinterpreting the clues and she attempts to lead her off, but Edie mistakes this as Susan being bitter. As such, Edie resumes dinner. Susan attempts to get the message to Karl that Edie suspects he's going to propose, but she fails, and Edie winds up making a fool out of herself by digging through her chocolate soufflé in search of the ring. She eventually realizes that she was wrong, and spends the rest of the night in a bad mood. Susan and Karl later meet up where Susan reveals to Karl what Edie had expected that night, and so Karl decides to make up for it by proposing to Edie later, as he was probably going to do it eventually anyway. Susan is surprised that Karl feels this way about Edie, and he agrees to officially settle down with her once he and Susan re-divorce. ("Thank You So Much")

Karl finally proposes to Edie and she says yes, leading her to planning their engagement party. However, what Susan and Julie soon find out is that Edie wants to turn it into a surprise wedding, something that won't be all that possible since Susan and Karl are still legally married. Susan goes to Karl about this, who plans to play it off that he wants a grand over-the-top wedding, but when they go to Edie they find out that Susan's now-ex-boyfriend, Dr. Ron, has revealed to Edie the sham marriage. Edie is enraged to have been kept in the dark about this, later telling Susan and Karl that she would have agreed had she known, given that it was her idea to begin with. Susan and Karl both apologize immensely, making Edie feel better, but she still believes they should be punished. She expects Karl to throw her an elaborate wedding and for Susan to make all the arrangements, given that she doesn't want to lift a finger in any of this. They both find this reasonable, and Susan goes on to work the engagement party. There, Susan finds in one of Karl's bartending books the picture of him and Susan that Edie had gotten upset about before. Karl admits to loving Susan over Edie, but of course this can't be how things go. Edie begins accepting engagement gifts, and is gifted her best friend Martha's dentures from Felicia, who proceeds to humiliate Paul Young, accusing him for Martha's murder. ("Everybody Says Don't")

Accepting that his feelings are stronger for Susan than they are for Edie, Karl decides to leave Edie before she wakes up. This doesn't go as planned though, and she chases him outside to confront him when his car has trouble starting. Edie calls him out for saying they've not been happy, as she's been ecstatic, and eventually realizes that there's another woman. While Karl escapes, though with a destroyed car as it's hit by a garbage truck, Edie goes on to be consoled by her friends. Susan feels guilty, being the other woman that Edie describes to them all, but Edie now feels she has a deeper connection with Susan given that they've both been screwed over by Karl. Feeling bad, Susan tries to console Edie with some books, but Edie would rather go out and get hammered. At a local bar, Edie becomes convinced that their waitress is the other woman, recalling that she used to flirt with Karl. She notes that the only other women Karl sees are her, Julie, and Susan, and with Susan not wanting to be figured out, she points her finger at the waitress. Edie winds up engaging in a cat fight with this waitress that Susan and some other waitresses are forced to jump in on. Edie later visits Susan, grateful that she had her back and is now seeing her as a friend again. Edie has to go though, for she has a meeting, and it turns out she's meet with Oliver Weston, a private detective that she wants to find out who Karl had an affair with. ("It Wasn't Meant to Happen")

Edie and the girls console Gabrielle after her adopted daughter and take back by her birth parents, and Edie offers to take some of the church-donated food off of her hands as she's still dealing with the loss of Karl. Meanwhile, Edie's private detective has picked up that Susan is in fact the woman Karl had an affair with, but some time is bought by Mike, who stops him in time for Susan to meet with him. Since Susan can't afford to pay the private detective off, she writes Edie a note confessing everything and begging for forgiveness. Upon sending it out, however, Susan learns that Mike paid the private detective off, meaning that she confessed to Edie for nothing. Susan then goes after the mailman and goes through great lengths to steal the letter back, only for Julie to return it, thinking their mail had been mixed up. That night, Edie gets the note and is absolutely enraged to find out the truth. Susan, meanwhile, has gone over to Mike for thank him for helping her, and so Edie goes over to Susan's house with a watering can of gasoline. She sneaks in through the garage where she begins drenching the walls in gasoline and eventually she lights a match. The house burns, to Susan and Julie's dismay, and the entire neighborhood comes out to watch in horror. Edie, meanwhile, watches from her own home where she revels in Susan's misery, sipping from her glass of wine, having gotten revenge against her mortal enemy. ("I Know Things Now")

As the neighborhood helps Susan pick up after the burning of her house, Edie watches from afar where Susan quickly comes to realize that it was she who set fire to her home. Since it's been ruled as arson, and investigation is to be done, and Susan approaches Edie for confirmation. Edie doesn't hesitate in stating the truth, to Susan's absolute horror. Edie, however, defends herself after being sent that letter, and she also realizes Susan had attempted to hide the truth. Susan believes to be on some moral high-ground, but Edie points out that not only did Susan once burn down her house too, but she also stole Mike from her and slept with her fiancé. Susan decides to go to the police about this, but Edie points out there there are no witnesses to her confession, meaning there's no evidence. She proceeds to send Susan away, who conspires to get a confession out of Edie by wearing a wire. She returns, but Edie's chewing of popcorn gets in the way of the microphone picking up on what she's saying. Finally though, Edie says it clear enough for Susan to record, but that's also when Edie realizes what's going on. She pries Susan's shirt open to see for herself, and then runs after her to get the device back. The two get into a catfight, but Edie winds up hitting a beehive, triggering a bunch of yellow-jackets to swarm her. She winds up in the hospital, and Susan visits her, deciding to not turn her in to the police. She wants Edie to just tell them that she saw a figure lingering around with the watering can, but Edie tells her to take her deal and shove it. She's tired of pretending to be Susan's friend, stating that whenever something bad happens to her, Susan's always around. Now, when she gets out of the hospital, she's going to destroy Susan. ("No One is Alone")

This article or section is under constructionExpect many and frequent revisions to this content.

Don't say anything. Just stop seeing the person that I've been and start seeing the person I could be. Look at me, not the Edie that I show the world. In fact... let's lose her. Forget the blouse that she wears because she knows it shows off her cleavage. And the skirt that's so short, because she knows that guys love long legs. And the heels, the ones that make her legs look even longer. Forget the bra that holds her breasts a little higher than they are on their own these days. And the panties, the ones that hide the scar from my c-section. This is it. Hi, Carlos. I'm Edie. I might not be the woman that you thought I was under all of that but I'm real, and I'm here. And I'm asking for a chance.

Wanting to sell the old Young home, Edie hosts an open house for potential buyers to view. However, she soon finds neighbor Karen McCluskey gossiping about past events that took place in the home, such as Paul Young's arrest for Felicia Tilman's murder. This enrages Edie, who's been trying to unload this house for months, but Karen argues that discussion simply formed when she was asked some questions. Edie proceeds to send Karen away, into the rain, first stopping her from taking one of the sandwiches placed out for potential buyers. Later on, Edie shows an elderly couple around the old Young house; they're looking for a peaceful neighborhood for their retirement, and Edie talks up Wisteria Lane as being the ideal place. However, upon opening the front door, a party of kids are seen running down the street as Lynette relocates her son's birthday party. Edie also shows the home to a homosexual couple who have some reservations about the house given stories they've heard; however, Edie claims that they're all vicious rumors. She goes to show them one of the closets, but there inside is Gabrielle's pregnant maid, Xiao-Mei, hiding from her boss. Edie later calls Gaby, who plans to pick Xiao-Mei off after dropping Carlos off at his new apartment. ("Listen to the Rain on the Roof")

Edie is awoken by the sound of someone attempting to force their way inside of her house. Getting a loaded shot gun, Edie goes to confront the culprit, but is surprised to see that it's none other than her nephew, Austin McCann. She brings him inside where he explains that he had a falling out with his mother after she brought home a new boyfriend, and so Edie decides to have Austin stay with her rather than drive down to Mexico. She proceeds to hand him a beer, ignoring the fact that he's underage. Edie and Austin later attend Bree's wedding to Orson Hodge, and at the reception they run into Julie. Edie wonders if Julie has met Austin yet, but she rudely comments that she didn't recognize him with his shirt on. As Julie walks away, Edie is confused, and Austin claims that she came on to him. Edie later passes Susan, who she's yet to forgive after six months. Susan comments on what a nice party it is, to which Edie responds that it was before her encounter with her arch rival. Edie proceeds to go and associate with other attendees of the reception. ("It Takes Two")

Edie stops by Susan'shouse to pick up the CD player she let her borrow back when she could stand her, only to walk in on Julie and Austin more or less getting to know each other. As it turns out, Julie overloaded a circuit and Austin was just helping get the lights back on, but when Edie sends Austin back home, she asks that Julie stay away from him. Julie promises that she has no interest in Austin, but Edie says that every "good girl" says that before becoming a "bad girl", and to trust Edie because she knows. Edie later stops by the hospital, having learned that Susan left the CD player for Mike, and she goes to retrieve it. In the process she also steals a box of chocolates and takes a peek underneath Mike's sheet, covering her nether-regions; she's impressed. As she's prepared to leave though, she looks back one last time, only for shock to befall her when she sees that Mike's eyes are open. After six months, he's finally woken up from his coma. ("A Weekend in the Country")

Edie takes advantage of Mike's amnesia and tampers with the remembering process. ("Like It Was")

Edie quickly rushes for a doctor, since Mike has woken up, and word quickly spreads amongst Fairview, getting around to everyone except Susan who is currently in a cabin with Ian Hainsworth. With Susan out of the way, Edie starts to care for Mike, and quickly finds out he has no memory of the last two years. Dr. Craig suggests Edie might be able to help him recover by bringing him personal belongings, photographs and letters; she can help him remember the things that he can't. Edie, however, decides to take advantage of this. She uses this new blank slate of Mike's to get closer to him, and in the process she taints his memories of Susan. When flipping through a photo album, she shares that Susan was his former girlfriend who would string him along and cheat on him; she was a liar that Mike broke up with twice. Mike wonders why Susan would visit him everyday if she did all of these things, and so Edie lies by telling Mike that she was a stalker. Edie, meanwhile, was worried Susan would come in and disconnect one of his tubes or something. She also makes sure to share with Mike that Susan is currently off with another man - which is in fact true - and because of this, Mike turns Susan away when she finally comes to the hospital to see him. Edie revels in this, he promise of revenge finally kicking off, and when Mike asks Edie if she thinks that he loved Susan, Edie lies by telling him that she doesn't. ("Like It Was")

Susan continues to try and jog Mike's memory, but he continues acting cold and distant to her. She finally figures out why when she learns that Edie has been visiting Mike ever since he woke up, masquerading as his girlfriend. Susan proceeds to confront Edie about this, but the nurse takes Edie's side and has Susan removed from the premise. Later on, as Edie wheels Mike back from physical therapy, the nurse lets Edie know that she has a call waiting for her. As such, Edie leaves Mike alone, allowing Susan to swoop in and steal him from the hospital, taking him on a field trip to help jog his memory. They return to Wisteria Lane where Mike starts to recall Susan's clumsiness, but the confirmation of her being with Ian when he woke up remains a turnoff. Edie and the hospital orderlies find Mike and prepare to return him to the hospital. Susan tries to fight this, but Edie stands in her way, telling Susan that it's over and that she won. Susan refuses to believe evil beats good, however, which only offends Edie for being seen as a villain. Susan argues that all Edie does is lie, cheat, scheme and destroy relationships, and that she doesn't even want Mike; she just wants to spite Susan. Edie proceeds to point out the flaw in Susan's logic though, reminding her nemesis that she's had a thing for Mike since the day he moved onto Wisteria Lane. She also backed off while he was with Susan, but since that's over, it's her turn, and she's going to be better for Mike than Susan ever was... and if Susan does get hurt, well, that's just gravy. Edie does admit that last bit was perhaps a little evil, but goes back to Mike anyway. ("Nice She Ain't")

Edie visits Mike in the hospital, who is happy to see her, and she begins helping him out some with his physical therapy. As this occurs, Mike begins to wonder what he and Edie were like before his accident, and so she is more honest to him than she has been before. She tells Mike that they lived about fifty feet from each other, and Mike barely knew she existed. He wasn't rude; they'd wave at one another and exchange hellos, but Mike never really looked at her as much more than a neighbor. Mike begins to wonder, if this is true, then why Edie is there helping him everyday if they weren't even so much as friends. It's then that Edie admits that from the first moment she laid eyes on Mike, she sort of fell in love with him. All that she'd like when they get home is for Mike to just look at her. Mike, however, points out that he's looking at her now, and the two proceeds to make out. Edie goes on to share this to Father O'Malley at the church confessional. Susan later brings flowers to the hospital for Mike, only to stumble in on him having sex in the bed with Edie, but things take a negative turn for Mike and Edie when a set of detectives stop by. They question Mike over a deceased woman that was found with his phone number on her hand, but Edie informs them that his memory of the last two years is wiped clean. The detectives find this awfully convenient, but later when Edie comes out to Mike, dressed in a sexy nurse outfit, it triggers a memory of Mike meeting the deceased woman he was questioned about. ("Sweetheart, I Have to Confess")

When out jogging, Edie gets a call from the market that Austin and Julie attempted to shoplift whiskey. She rushes down there, also meeting with Susan, and Edie begins negotiating a deal with store owner Harvey Bigsby to make up for her nephew's crime. Things take a hectic turn, however, when Harvey's wife Carolyn comes toting a gun into the store, dead set on killing Harvey for having an affair with the deceased Monique Polier. Edie and Harvey are rushed into the locked surveillance room while Carolyn takes the rest of the store hostage. Edie ushers that Harvey go face his wife as she has ten innocent hostages, but Harvey is afraid to face death. He gets on the phone with the police, who recommend he try to calm his wife down and convince her to let the kids and the elderly go. When Harvey begins talking to Carolyn, Edie reminds him of the officer's request, but her voice is picked up on the microphone, and Carolyn starts to think that Edie is another one of Harvey's whores. She makes sure to have a bullet said aside for Edie, but after killing Nora Huntington, Carolyn is defeated when having an argument with Lynette, allowing Art Shepard to knock the gun from her hand, Austin to tackle her from retrieving it, and Maya to kill her. All of the hostages are then released, and Edie and Susan watch as Austin and Julie embrace one another. ("Bang")

With Mike getting ready to come home from the hospital, Edie spends some time cleaning his house up for him, leading her to find Karen McCluskey using a stolen key to break into Mike's garage and borrow his lawnmower. Edie attempts to put a stop to this, but is blackmailed by Karen to allow her to keep using the mower is exchange for now showing Mike the pictures she found and saved of him and Susan. Mike finally comes home, and Edie is excited to show him how much she straightened it up; however, he admits that while he's home, he doesn't feel home. Edie assures that the worst is behind him though, and that the important part is he's back and every day he's getting better. With Austin and Julie now being an item, Susan comes to see Austin as a bad influence for her daughter, and so she confronts Edie, demanding she keep Austin away. While Edie doesn't give her full support to the couple either, she tells Susan that the harder they try to keep them apart, the more they'll fight to be together. Edie suggests they let nature run its course, but Susan fears the possibility of them having sex. Edie doesn't deny that being a possibility, as she's missing eleven condoms, only eight which she's responsible for. Susan wonders how Edie could be so calm about this, which is when Mike comes outside, almost ready to go out and celebrate with Edie. She tells Susan that she's calm because if two people are meant to be together then there's nothing anyone can do about it. The next day, Edie and Mike return from being out where they find detectives have obtained a search warrant on Mike's house; they can't find a toolbox. ("Children and Art")

Edie helps Mike go through his bills, organizing them and figuring out what he can and can't afford. She tells him that he'll have to choose between paying the cable bill or the phone bill, but he's too distracted watching the detectives parked outside of his home. When Edie finally regains his attention though, he tells her to do whatever he wants, as he goes out to confront the detectives. When returning though, Edie remembers that there's no point paying the cable bill if there's no electricity. She starts explaining her idea on how to handle this, but Mike is no longer listening. Later on, Bree and Orson go to Edie to find a house to buy for Orson's mother, Gloria Hodge. Edie finds a place in a bad part of Fairview, to Bree's disgust. Both Orson and Gloria support the house, the latter deciding that she wants to see the rest, but Bree refuses to let her move out on her own when Gloria slips on a loose tile. ("Beautiful Girls")

Christmas time is coming, but when word gets out that new neighbor Art Shepard is a pedophile, Edie receives word from Karen McCluskey, and the entire street know comes time of the Christmas block party where he is shunned by all. Edie is upset upon learning that Mike buried his toolbox in the woods, leading the detectives to further suspect him for Monique Polier's murder. While Carlos, who is now living with Mike, tells Edie to give him some room, Edie demands that Mike look her in the eye in tell her he's not a murderer. Mike, however, still cannot remember. Edie begins to wonder if Mike can't remember or doesn't want to remember, and soon enough the detectives arrive to arrest Mike for said crime. As he sits in jail, Mike meets with Edie to discuss getting a lawyer. He runs through the numerous requirements, such as Edie doing some research to find a really good one, and lending him money because the lawyer who takes his case will need a retainer. Edie takes note of all of this, though she's becoming more uncomfortable as time goes on, but it's the last straw when Mike mentions the wrench covered in blood. She decides to break up with him, claiming that she's not been happy for a while now and wanted to tell him weeks ago. She tries to play off that she's not leaving him simply because he was arrested for murder, but it's quite obvious that she is. As such, Mike and Edie part ways, and Mike finds himself landing help from Susan. ("The Miracle Song")

Since Edie has left Mike, he starts becoming friendly with Susan again, as she is now helping get him out of jail. He comes to realize that all Edie did was feed him lies, and for that he is sorry for ever believing her. Meanwhile, Edie is finally able to sell the old Applewhite house to none other than Orson's ex-wife, Alma Hodge. Edie is thrilled, though she wonders why Alma was so dead-set on Wisteria Lane. Alma claims it's because the past several months she's moved around a lot, and she needs a place where she can settle down. A place where children know how to behave, people have some sense of moral value, and where friendships are good, strong, and last forever. Of course, that is not what you'd find on this street, but Edie is fine going along with it, as is Alma, who has ulterior motives. She says to Edie that she just wants to fit in. ("No Fits, No Fights, No Feuds")

Bree is upset to find Edie selling Alma a place on Wisteria Lane, but is forced to deal with it nonetheless, as Edie has been trying to unload this home for months. Austin and Julie later approach Edie about getting Julie the birth control pill, as they intend to have sex but would like to be responsible about it. Edie doesn't like this, especially since if Susan found out she'd have her head, but she eventually gives in anyway as she'd rather they be safe than sorry. However, before doing so, she points out that the responsible thing to do is abstain from sex and focus on their studies, that way she can say she said it in case anyone asks. Susan soon finds out about this though, having found them hidden in a VHS tape, thanks to Gabrielle. It doesn't take long for Susan to figure out how Julie obtained the pills, and she confronts Edie as she's giving Alma the last set of keys. Edie tries avoid Susan, but to no avail. Edie tells Susan that it was Julie who came to her, and that if Julie and Austin had a child then she and Susan would be family and Edie cannot take that chance. Susan blames Austin for corrupting her daughter, but Edie points out that Julie has discovered sex and Susan better get good with it otherwise she risks losing Julie forever. She tells Susan that whether she likes it or not, Julie really loves Austin, and Austin really loves Julie. However, they proceed to walk in on Austin having an affair with Danielle Van de Kamp. ("Not While I'm Around")

Since moving to Wisteria Lane, Bree's new husband Orson has often found himself being stopped by neighbors during numerous events to ask him about their teeth. It had become known throughout the neighborhood that this is something Orson had a specialty in, due to being a dentist, and so it has resulted in some rather awkward encounters. For example, Ida Greenberg has stopped him at a street barbecue to discuss her concerns, Edie has stopped him at a cocktail party to discuss her concerns, holding her mouth open while explaining the problem, and even Carlos Solis has stopped him in the men's restroom to discuss his concerns. Whenever it came to teeth, everyone expected Orson to have the answer; however, this simply is not always the case. ("Come Play Wiz Me")

Edie stops by the Scavo's place to ask how the pizzeria they're opening up is coming along, and Tom offers her a free coupon. While Edie's grateful, she's actually come with an ulterior motive: she would like for Tom to give Austin a job, though he seems less than thrilled about this idea. Tom's heard the gossip going around about Austin having beaten up a guy, but Edie pleads with him because she really needs her nephew out of the house. She explains that ever since Julie broke up with him for cheating on her he's been depressed and mopey, and it's driving her crazy. Tom finally gives in, agreeing to take Austin on as an extra guy in the back and gives Edie a time for him to show up to work. Edie's extremely grateful, though goes on to deny the coupon due to the fact that she doesn't eat pizza; however, Austin working for the Scavos begins causing a rift between Tom and Lynette. Due to Austin being insubordinate, Lynette attempts firing him but this goes forbade by Tom. As it later turns out, Tom finds multiple benefits in having Austin around due to him attracting a lot of younger customers as well as the fact that Edie is including their menue in the welcome packet that she gives out to new homeowners; he doesn't think she'd be so generous if they were to fire her nephew. ("I Remember That")

Scavo Pizzeria finally has its grand opening, and Edie decides to be the first to make a toast. Calling everyone's attention, she begins by congratulating Tom for his success, noting that most believed he couldn't do it (though that may have just been her). She comments that the pizza is excellent and that the service is sublime, giving a nod to Austin. Cheers are in order, and Tom gives a speech of his own that Edie listens to, noting how great it's all turned out. He thanks Lynette, who is forced to intervene when he begins choking up over it. Edie is among the many to laugh when Lynette quips that should one ever wish to test their marriage then to open up a restaurant together; she adds for them to all eat a lot and come back because their kids need braces. Edie raises her glass to this, and later lays witness to two marriage proposals that take place. One of all sincerity between Susan and Ian Hainsworth, and then one less than ideal between Gabrielle and Zach Young. The latter proposal ends in Gaby's humiliation, with Edie appearing to be laughing in the background. ("The Little Things You Do Together")

Having been left with her son Travers for four weeks while his father is away, Edie visits Carlos in hopes he'll babysit so that she can go to a party that evening. Carlos is forced to decline, having planned a date, to Edie's dismay. This doesn't stop her from going to her party though, leaving Travers alone who Carlos later finds playing in the streets unsupervised. As such, Carlos sends his date home and takes Travers in, leaving a note for Edie for where to find him. She does so, only to be condemned by Carlos, who she argues has no right to judge her because he doesn't have a kid of his own; however, Carlos argues if he did then he'd treat them a lot better than Edie treats hers. Due to her being intoxicated, Carlos sends Edie away, instructing she pick Travers up in the morning. She does so, assuming that Carlos must be thinking she's a terrible mother. She goes on to explain that when she and Charles split, she gave him sole custody in order for Travers to have the best life possible; she doesn't believe that makes her a good mother, but at the very least a realistic one. With that said though, Edie collects Travers, planning to make things up for him by planning a lot of fun for them to have that day. Once Travers heads off, Carlos lets Edie know that if she ever needs a babysitter then to just yell. She's grateful for the offer. ("My Husband, the Pig")

Edie and Gaby return home from a day of shopping where it becomes known that the former's currently being faced with a dry-spell, having not had sex in three weeks. Their get-together is cut short, however, as the two ladies discover Gaby's ceiling has a leak, and so Edie goes and picks up Travers who's been watched over by Carlos. She then gets the idea to seduce Carlos, and so she offers to take him out for watching her son, but he's not interested. Refusing to give up, Edie buys Travers a model plane he can put together with Carlos, but once sending him off to bed she breaks off a piece of it in order to lure Carlos back to fix it. It's then that she attempts to seduce him, but Carlos backs away. He insists that they're good friends and it's best they not ruin that, but Edie thinks otherwise, simply wanting to see where things could go between the two of them. Carlos, however, is looking for a serious relationship and doesn't think that's something that can be found with her. Edie objects to this, but Carlos points out she can't even commit to her own son, instead using him as sex-bait. This offends Edie, and so she throws him out. She returns home the next night though, finding flowers and an apology note form Carlos. As such, she heads over to his place where they're able to talk in person, and Edie admits Carlos was right about her. Still Carlos insists he had no right to judge - that's her, the 'Edie' that they love. This isn't the 'Edie' that Edie loves though, admitting to being over her old ways. She begins to strip to her underwear, coming out to Carlos as a whole nother person beneath her party-girl exterior; she tells Carlos that she's real, that she's here, and that she's asking for a chance. He pulls her in for a hug, and the two proceed to make love. ("Dress Big")

The first thing you should know is that Edie Britt never actually intended to die. But someone she loved was trying to leave her. So, she planned every detail; from the silk scarf she'd hang by, to the suicide note detailing her despair. Now all Edie had to do was wait for her beloved to come home. You see told hold onto her man, Edie knew she had to find the perfect moment to let go...

Edie's suicide attempt was actually a fake. After she kicks the chair over, she holds onto the scarf. She waits for the right minute for when Carlos returns to get his things. Carlos enters the house and she lets go. Karen McCluskey stops Carlos to talk to him about leaving the trash cans outside. Edie struggles to hold on. By the time Carlos gets upstairs, she is already hanging there unconscious. Carlos cuts her down just in time to save her life. As he puts his hand on her, Edie grabs on tight. One month after almost killing herself, she is let out of the hospital. She is introduced to Katherine Mayfair at her barbecue which Edie thought was her party. Carlos decides to stay with Edie until she recovers. This makes his ex-wife, Gabrielle Lang very upset because they planned to start an affair. ("Now You Know")

When Carlos isn't around, Edie looks through his stuff and finds out about his off-shore bank account. Edie blackmails Carlos to become enaged to her. Carlos reluctantly agrees to this. ("Smiles of a Summer Night")

Edie is reminded of her attempted suicide by a stoned Lynette. ("The Game")

Edie plans to announce her engagement at Susan Delfino's charade party. Carlos forbids her to announce it, but she buys an engagement ring for herself to wear. Gaby sees this and is furious. When Katherine finds out that Gaby is flirting with her husband Adam Mayfair, she gets mad and reveals Gaby's past with John Rowland to Edie. ("The Game")

Edie finds out she has crabs and there is a chance Carlos might have it too. They have to use this horrible shampoo. Meanwhile Carlos warns Gaby who has to do it as well and has to trick Victor into doing it. At Bree's baby shower, Edie recognizes the smell on Victor. He says it was a kind of shampoo Gaby got him. Edie looks at Carlos who scratches, then Gaby who does the same, then Victor who does it too. Edie realizes what is going on and is furious. She smashes the crabcake she had in her hand. ("If There's Anything I Can't Stand")

Edie hires a private detective to watch Gaby and Carlos. Gaby, however, thought it was someone Victor sent because he left town for the weekend. Gaby and Carlos decide to wait six months to start up again. They have a goodbye kiss which the private detective took a picture of, he gives Edie the pictures at the end of the episode. ("Art Isn't Easy")

Edie sees Carlos moving out. Knowing about his affair she asks him if there was someone else. He says there wasn't. Edie goes to report his off-shore account to the IRS. Carlos had moved the money. Edie confronts him and he says he knows nothing about this money just in case she was wearing a wire. As revenge, she gives Victor the pictures. ("Now I Know, Don't Be Scared")

Carlos goes to retrieve a painting he forgot at Edie's house. She gives it to him with to big holes in it. She reveals that she gave Victor the pictures which worries Carlos. ("You Can't Judge a Book by its Cover")

While on Gaby's front porch, a man mistakes her for Gaby and gives her the documents to the off-shore bank account. After he leaves, Gaby chases her. Edie locks herself into her house. Gaby throws a chair through her window and fights with Edie for the papers. They run back outside but lose the papers in the wind. Edie and Gaby run back inside when the tornado comes. Edie goes to her crawl space but Gaby refuses to get in with her. Edie doesn't care but Gaby gets in. Edie and Gaby start to get along and forgive one another. Gaby and Edie make up. ("Something's Coming")

When Edie finds out Carlos gave her fake jewelery when they were together, she reveals to Gaby that Carlos is blind permanently. ("Sunday")

Edie gets Carlos dog food for his seeing eye dog. She also confronts Gaby saying that she needs to treat him better now that he's blind. ("Hello, Little Girl")

When Bree decides to divorce her husband Orson Hodge, Edie asks her to take him back to his apartment when he wouldn't leave her alone. When Orson didn't want to go back, Edie let him spend the night. Bree thought this was really inappropriate but Edie didn't care. Bree thinks Edie might start an affair with him because she did with Karl Mayer, Mike Delfino, and Carlos Solis. When Edie and Orson get drunk, they share a drunken kiss which Bree see's while looking in the window. Both Edie and Orson regret the kiss. ("Opening Doors")

Bree confronts Edie about this and smacks her. Bree then sabotoges Edie's business. Edie goes to Orson's apartment to bitch about his soon to be ex-wife. Edie stumbles upon papers revealing Danielle and Austin are Benjamin's real parents. Edie blackmails Bree to be nice to her and do everything she says or her secret will be out. Bree tells Susan, Lynette and Gaby, and, to her surprise, they understand. They all end their friendship with Edie. Edie moves away to be near Travers now that she has lost her friends. ("Mother Said")

Time Jump

So I'm in Vegas, talking to this real estate convention; I do a little motivational speaking. And there, sixth row, center aisle, is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. So after I finish, I walk into the audience, and I ask this goddess out.

Having been shunned by her friends, and blackballed out of Wisteria Lane, Edie moves from the suburbs and continues her life elsewhere someways off. With Orson having turned himself in for running over Mike, wanting to earn Bree's forgiveness, he starts receiving regular visits from Edie, who doesn't live too far away from the prison. Orson grows to enjoy her company, seeing as how Bree has yet to visit him, for she herself is too disgusted to go. Bree soon finds out about these visits though, and so she confronts Edie for them; however, Edie shames Bree for putting Orson through this and then not being there for him as he goes through it. While at first she tries to persuade Bree to give her husband the time of day, she ends up retracting that statement, instead claiming that Orson is actually too good for her. Bree takes into consideration all Edie has said to her, and ends up finally visiting Orson after all, and presumably continues to keep doing so until his eventual release. ("Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know")

At some point Edie finds herself attending a real estate convention where Dave Williams speaks to the crowd. Sitting in the sixth row, center aisle, she is spotted by the motivational speaker who is instantly taken by her beauty, and so afterwards he bumps into her and asks her on a date. Apparently having sexual intercourse three times before their first dinner together, the two proceed to enter a relationship. Dave, however, has yet to move on from the death of his first wife and daughter, something he keeps secret from Edie; but when learning she once lived on the same street as Mike Delfino, the man who he believed was responsible for their passings, he decides to use this to his advantage. Edie and Dave elope, and Edie is convinced by her new husband to move back to Wisteria Lane, entirely oblivious as to what his true intentions are. ("You're Gonna Love Tomorrow"/"Connect! Connect!")

Dave Williams arrives on Wisteria Lane and pays off the tennent of 4362, allowing him and Edie to move back in. The following morning Edie decides to make her return known to those of the street, and so she washes her car in a swimsuit, which Lynette sees. Quickly, she calls the other girls, Susan, Bree and Gaby, all of whom march with her to Edie's home to confront her return. They come to learn she has a husband, and when meeting him and seeing how he's managed to start getting Edie to be a nicer person, they all take a liking to him. A party is thrown to celebrate her return, during which Edie runs into Karen McCluskey, surprised to see she's still alive. Karen meets Dave, and Edie goes off to thank the girls for throwing the party for her, which she believes to have been as an apology for driving her off the lane five years earlier. However, they correct that it was thrown as a way to show they've forgiven her, something Edie doesn't take lightly, for they blackmailed her, threatening to ruin her business. Dave interrupts the argument, calling Edie aside, who regrets letting him talk her into moving back to Wisteria Lane. She questions why he was so gung-ho over that particular street, but Dave claims it was simply because he thinks they can be happy there. Unbeknownst to Edie, however, that isn't the only reason. ("You're Gonna Love Tomorrow")

After a bad encounter with Mrs. McCluskey, Edie is ready to pack up and leave the lane once more, for everyone still sees her as a joke; however, Dave is able to get through to her and convince her to re-think things. Edie still questions why, of all the cities in the world, her husband wanted to live in Fairview, but is once again told because he believes they can be happy there. Dave later speaks with McCluskey, but to no avail; however, when her cat Toby disappears, he agrees to help her find him if she apologizes to die. Karen senses something off about Dave, which makes her fear him a bit, but she agrees to do so. Going over to Edie's, she apologizes, and the apology is accepted; Karen also asks that Edie let Dave know she stopped by and that things are now alright between the two. Edie, a little confused, agrees to this. That evening, Toby finds himself home, and McCluskey's suspicions for Dave rise. Needing internet access to research Edie's new husband, she stops by Katherine'shouse, who has a computer. ("We're So Happy You're So Happy")

Karen and Katherine start asking Edie questions about Dave to find out more about him. Edie realizes she hardly knows anything about her husband. At Danielle Van de Kamp's welcome home party, Karen, Katherine, and Edie ask Dave questions. Dave doesn't fully answer them. Dave reveals his father was an alcoholic. Edie apologizes to him on the way home and says she never should have wondered about the stuff Karen said. Dave then tells Edie that Karen could be going senile. ("Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else")

Edie wants to buy Mary Alice Young's old house but Dave doesn't. When Mike won't join his band, he and Edie decide to buy the house and rent it out to Mike without Edie knowing the real reason. ("Back in Business")

Mrs. McCluskey tells Edie she will be staying with her sister for a while. Dave later tells Edie about his late brother Steve who got caught on drugs. Steve went to prison and was killed by another inmate. ("There's Always a Woman")

When her husband, Mike Delfino, Carlos Solis, Orson Hodge, and Tom Scavo all perform at Warren Schilling's night club, Edie hands out fliers to everyone. Porter Scavo also breaks into her house to steal Edie's gun during the show. When the night club catches on fire, Edie is the first to scream "FIRE!!!". Edie is terrified when Dave stays behind to help everyone out. Edie is thrilled when Dave comes out of the fire alive. ("City on Fire")

After the fire, Edie becomes worried that Dave is becoming obsessed about this. Edie reveals to Dave that the police think Porter had something to do with it. ("Me and My Town")

After Porter is arrested, Lynette sneaks into Edie's house to return the gun. While coming downstairs, Lynette notices Dave talking to himself which she finds strange. Edie goes to Susan Mayer's house later on to borrow a cork screw after breaking her own. Susan comments that Edie uses hers up in three months when it is supposed to be a life time. Edie gets a kick about how MJ is being mean to Katherine. Edie tells Susan that M.J. can tell Susan's resentment to Mike and Katherine's new relationship. ("A Vision's Just a Vision")

Edie notices Dave's unusual behavior is continuing. One night, Edie goes downstairs to the kitchen to find Dave talking to himself. Edie taps him and he accidentally smacks her across the arm. The next morning, Edie demands an explanation on why Dave is acting strange. Dave reveals to Edie that he had a wife who died in a car crash. Edie is furious with Dave because he never mentioned her while Edie told Dave about being divorced twice and her entire past. Edie gives Dave to the end of the day to pack up and move out as she is gonna file for divorce. ("Home is the Place")

The morning after Dave moves out, Susan, Lynette, Bree, and Gaby go over to Edie's house to confort her. After a few minutes, Susan announces she is moving in with Jackson Braddock to Riverton. All the attention is then turned to Susan which makes Edie upset. Later on while cleaning out the basement of Andrew Van de Kamp and Alex Cominis's new house, Susan tells Edie that the mail man mixed up their mail. Susan gives Edie her mail and Edie tells Susan she threw hers away. Susan and Edie then get locked in the basement when Susan accidentally lets the door close on them. Edie reveals to Susan how she was mad about Susan taking away all the attention. Susan tells Edie that Edie has had numerous failed relationships and she gave it the amount of time it deserved while referring to Mike Delfino, Karl Mayer, Carlos Solis, and Orson Hodge. Edie tells Susan that she has never gone without being in a relationship. She then makes up a timeline. Edie tells Susan how when she was sixteen, her father left her mother for someone else who had a daughter. One day, her father took her horse collection saying she was to old for them and she gave them to her new stepsister. Edie and Susan both decide to change and Edie lets Dave move back in saying she is ready to settle down. Edie and Susan also finally end their long time rivalry. Edie brings Susan her mail over later on. ("Connect! Connect!")

Edie asks Dave the difference from being married to Lila Dash and being married to her. Dave tells Edie that he and Edie have a more real marriage. Dave says he and Lila were like a fairytale. He says that the end of a fairy tale is death. Dave says love is only temporary which is why you have to make it last. Edie says she should have just asked if Lila was more pretty than her. ("Mama Spent Money When She Had None")

Edie wants her and Dave to spend a romantic weekend at a hotel. At first Dave refuses but when she hears ringing from the closet which Dave is hiding his doctors phone, he agrees to go. Edie starts calling travel agents. When Dave plans a camping trip instead with Mike, Katherine, and Edie. Edie refuses to go and decides to make Dave take her to a hotel the next weekend. Dave agrees. ("In a World Where the Kings Are Employers")

When Mike and Katherine move in together, they have a house-warming party and send out Edie and Dave to get liquor. At the drug store, a priest recognizes Dave. Dave and Edie walk away but Dave goes back. Edie watches Dave from inside an aisle. Dave tells the priest that he has remarried and started his life over again and wants him to leave them alone. After Dave leaves, Edie confronts the priest wondering if Dave and the priest have a history. The priest refers to Edie as Mrs. Dash. Edie corrects him saying her last name is Williams. The priest then says he didn't realize Edie kept her maiden name. Edie gets suspecious because her maiden name is Britt. When Edie gets home she searches for the name David Dash on her computer. ("Crime Doesn't Pay")

Edie goes to a local newspaper to dig information on Dave and his family. Edie finds out Dave had a daughter named Paige Dash who died in the same crash as Dave's late wife. Edie asks Dave later on if he ever wanted kids. Dave says he had a "friend" who had a kid that died in a car crash. Dave then says having kids wouldn't be worth it. Edie knows Dave is referring to himself and continues with her research. Back at the newspaper, an intern finds an article revealing that Mike would not be charged in the deaths of Lila and Paige Dash, but is told to wait until tomorrow to give it to Edie. ("The Story of Lucy and Jessie")

Edie needs to get more fax paper from the store before she can get the fax revealing everything about her evil husband. Karen McCluskey tells Edie that Dave is evil but Edie tells Karen how Dave had both a wife and daughter that died in a car crash. Karen apologizes to Edie saying she had no idea. Edie later puts in her fax paper. She gets the article and is shocked. Edie texts Dave and tells him to come home immediately. This stops Dave from killing Katherine Mayfair. When Dave gets home, he finds Edie sitting on the staircase drunk. Edie tells Dave she always wondered why he married her. Edie says she tried to believe it was for love but she never could. Edie holds up the newspaper article of Mike. Dave tells Edie that she should go to bed because she is clearly drunk. Edie refuses and attempts to call the police. Dave wrestles the phone from her hands and starts strangling her. This shocks Edie. Dave finally lets go and is more than shocked to see she is alive. Edie manages to get her car keys and runs out the door. While driving down the Lane. Edie tries to call Mike or Katherine. However, Orson runs in front of her and she swerves to miss him. Edie crashes into a utility pole. As Edie steps out of the car, she didn't realize water was under her. She holds onto the door when she steps into the puddle and she is electrocuted when the door hits the electrical wire that is dangling down. Edie falls to the ground and her fate is left unknown. ("A Spark. To Pierce the Dark")

Edie is soon cremated, and Dave calls over Susan, Lynette, Bree, Gaby and Mrs. McCluskey, asking that they deliver her ashes to her son, Travers, for he has never met his new stepfather. Though reluctant, the women agree, and set out on a roadtrip to the boy's school. Along the way they each share individual stories of the more pleasant times they had with Edie, but upon arriving at Travers' school, the women are turned away. He's resentful towards his mother for never being in his life, and though he's sorry she's died, he isn't as sad as expected to be. Ms. McCluskey stops him from leaving though, and reveals what Edie once told her years before, about how she just wanted to give her son the best life she could... one which could not involve her. Travers mind on the subject does end up changing, but he tells the women to keep Edie's ashes, for she was closer to them, and they can most likely find the best resting place for her. And they do. Mrs. McCluskey comes up with the idea of dividing the ashes amongst her and the other housewives, and they each spread them amongst Wisteria Lane. ("Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know")

Dave is still hellbent on getting revenge, but his plans have changed. He has come to learn that it wasn't Mike driving the car that killed his wife and daughter, but in fact Susan Mayer. He plots to kill her son, MJ, as a means of revenge, and begins filming a tape which he plans to have released once it's all over. Dave isn't given a break though, for investigators are coming closer to making a breakthrough regarding the club fire, and he begins having hallucinations. First he sees Dr. Samuel Heller, who tells Dave he won't get away with it; then he sees Paige and Lila, the latter of which tells her widower that soon they will be together, so he shouldn't care about being caught; lastly he sees Edie, who tells him he should just get it over with. She calls his current plan boring, and believes it would be better if Susan knows why her son had to die, seeing as how the whole point is to make her suffer. Dave agrees with the vision of Edie, and that's what he plans to do; however, that is soon interrupted. ("Everybody Says Don't")

When separating from her husband of ten years, Doug Perry, Renee stays with her college friend Lynette for a while and ends up taking a liking to the suburbs. Wishing to stay for good, she soon rents Edie's old house, 4362. ("You Must Meet My Wife")