Much like Harry earlier this week, I have good news and bad news. The good news is I’m vacationing in Englewood, Florida, next week! Hooray for me! The bad news is I didn’t do any Circuits ahead of time, so there will be no new Circuits on the 11th, 13th, or 15th. Usually I do them ahead of time, or at least try to arrange a little something something for you guys, but I’ve been spending most of my extra time working on the impending First Circuit Book, and so I was unable (unwilling?) to squeeze in some extra extra time to give you something to read while I was away. Bottom line: I am a lazy person. I do care about you… just not enough to make me not be lazy.

Seriously, though; making a book is a lot of work! I guess that’s why you don’t see everyone just making books all the damn time, for no good reason. Right now I’m knee deep in the tedious stuff that involves prepping old comics to be book-friendly. It is indeed boring, but there is a hint of excitement as well, because I can see ahead to the finished product, and it will be awesome. As for the old comics, I promised not to “George Lucas” them, which means I didn’t touch up any of the old explosions, nor did I replace old Anakin with young Anakin. I am, however, tweaking all the dialogue balloons and fonts to be more consistent with the ones I use currently. I didn’t change any dialogue… I just changed the outward appearance of the existing dialogue. I’ve had three years to figure out how to properly format comic dialogue, and I realized very quickly that most of the early strips were flat-out wrong in the way they used dialogue balloons. Like I said… boring. But it’s going to look spiffy when I’m done.

Now, I would love to talk about the newest Mass Effect 3 DLC, Citadel, because I got it yesterday afternoon and played it for a couple hours. I can’t really say much, yet, because 2 hours was just enough to get a little taste, but not enough to tell you what I really think of it. I will share my first impressions, though.

Let’s get this right out of the way… Citadel does not change the ending to the main storyline, so if you were hoping it would, then you will likely be disappointed. As I’ve mentioned before, however, I made my peace long ago with the ending of the game, so I wasn’t expecting any revelations from the new DLC on that front. So, going in with an open mind, and the realization that I miss playing ME3, here are my initial observations:

It is very well-written, and funny. The dialogue is cheesy at times, but it’s all tongue-in-cheek, and quite engaging. It’s clear the whole writing team came back for this one.

It is, tonally, much different from the rest of ME3. It really feels isolated from the main game, which is probably quite jarring if you were to play it in the midst of a regular Mass Effect playthrough. Reaper threat reaper threat reaper threat BAM CRAZY SIDE MISSION WITH ALL YOUR PALS… yeah, I can see having a tough time reconciling that with the rest of the story at large. But for me, playing it months removed from the main story, it actually feels like a nice break from all the regular gloom and doom associated with saving the entire frackin’ galaxy.

It is blatant fan service. This is not a bad thing.

Wrex is awesome. No one can break stuff like that guy.

The first major action scene does not give you enough ammo. I think the game wanted me to be sneaky for this part, but Mass Effect is not a stealth game. My Shepard is a “vanguard” class. He doesn’t do sneaking. I’m a bit rusty since I haven’t played in a few months, so maybe I wasn’t doing it right, and my aim was off, but I ran out of ammo really quickly, and so there was more than one instance where I basically had to let Shepard get killed so I could restart with more ammo. Weird and unnecessary, if you ask me. It felt like Bioware was trying to get cute with the Mass Effect combat system, and wanted it to be something it wasn’t. I wasn’t really a fan of that part, but I got through it without turning the difficulty down, and with only a touch of light cursing.

That’s all I can say right now; once I’ve played through, and messed around with all the extra content that’s included apart from the main side quest, I’ll have more to talk about. It won’t be until after I get back from my vacation, however. My vacation from work and Circuit will also be a vacation from video games (gasp!). I’ll play some more today, though, and I look forward to playing it more when I get back home. Just based on my initial moments with it, though, I’d say that even if you were really disappointed by the ending of the main story, try to put that aside and play this DLC. You might end up enjoying it in spite of yourself.

Again, no new Circuit or blog posts next week. I’ve already posted the new comic for this Friday, but that’s the last you’ll hear from me until Monday the 18th. At which point I’ll be gearing up to go to PAX East! So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

Am I still playing Dragonborn? Yes, I am still playing Dragonborn. Not right now, of course. …Okay, I am playing it right now. I’m playing it and writing this post at the same time.

I would like to stop kissing Skyrim’s butt long enough to say, truthfully, that the main quest is a bit underwhelming. For all the buildup of Miraak being the first Dragonborn and a sort of ever-present evil force on the island of Solstheim, he turns out to be kind of a putz. An annoyance, really. Just some jerk who makes you wake up in the middle of the night so you can go work on repairing his temple. And who sneaks up and steals a dragon soul from you just after you went through all the trouble of killing said dragon. Really, Miraak? I wasted four poison arrows, two potions of Resist Fire, and a potion of Fortify Marksman so you could waltz in and steal my thunder? I guess, like any good boss, Miraak knows when to swoop in and take the credit.

I suppose, the more I think on it, it’s almost more satisfying, in a way, that he went out like such a chump when it finally came time for us to face off. Still, I was shocked at how quickly I arrived at that point, and a little unimpressed that for all his initial bluster, Miraak never really did anything more horrible than inconvenience me and my delightful sight-seeing tour across Solstheim.

But hey, like I said a week ago, Elder Scrolls games aren’t usually about the main quests, are they? No, the good stuff is found by exploring off the beaten path and, of course, by killing bears. Those damn bears. How are they so sneaky?

But while Miraak is nothing to write home to Windhelm about, there’s lots of fun to be had in all the Black Book missions. Thanks, Creepy Demon God of Forbidden Knowledge, for figuring out how to make me uneasy in a library. Yeah, I know it might be fun in Skyrim fantasyland, but man oh man, if a book ever growls at me in real life, I am never reading again. Or maybe I’ll just have to break down and finally buy a Kindle.

Creepy library has creepy librarian. Shhhh…..

THESE guys know how to handle a creepy librarian.

But really, the Hermaeus Mora (aforementioned Creepy Demon God) missions are fun, and there’s usually a nice, tasty power-up at the end of each one. And you get to work for that wacky Telvanni wizard Neloth for at least a few of those missions, and he’s almost always good for a laugh. Especially funny is a part where he asks for his steward, realizes aloud that she’s dead, and then asks for his new steward. Stupid assistants! Always dying when it’s least convenient.

So there’s some kind of Mass Effect DLC coming out in less than a week, is there? The last single-player content for ME3? Also there’s a multiplayer one coming out, but I never got into that, and I think it’s probably too late for me to start. My vanguard combat skills are rusty, and really the only thing I’d be good for is as bait to lure in more Reapers.

I know there’s still a vocal and passionate fanbase who are still hoping that this last DLC will somehow change or address the ending in some way, but I really think there’s no chance of that happening. I made my peace with the game’s anticlimax some months ago, and I’m willing to purchase this new DLC based only on the fact that the whole writing team was on board to script it, and that it lets Shepard spend a little more quality time with all the characters that initially made Mass Effect so great. Yes, I do realize that having Shepard fart around on the Citadel while Earth burns seems somewhat… out of touch… with the rest of the game, but I’m hoping for an entertaining side story nonetheless, and it’ll definitely be fun to shoot stuff with Wrex once again. Even if you’re really bummed that the ending was so bad that it ruined the rest of the game for you, you have to admit it’ll be kind of fun to beat up some baddies with Wrex again, right? Really, just try it. All the other stuff might not seem so terrible in comparison. And who knows? Maybe this B plot (C plot? D plot?) will provide some much-needed context for the final moments of the game. I’m not expecting it, but it would be nice. I think I’m one of the few fans of the series that doesn’t think ME3 butchered the lore built up in ME1; yes, it was out of left field, and the finale certainly felt unfinished, but lore-breaking? I don’t see it. For every example I’ve read where the game’s canon is supposedly ignored, I’ve been able to provide a counterexample (from my recollection, at least) that says otherwise. Clumsy or poorly revealed, perhaps, but not lore-breaking. I actually believe the story plays with the concept of a deus ex machina in an interesting and original way, and I like that you can pick an ending that is consistent with your own vision of Shepard’s character. I think the biggest mistake Bioware made was not taking enough time to properly flesh out the ideas they were working with. The Priority: Earth mission was poorly designed, and the narrative became confusing. One of my favorite college professors went to great lengths to teach her class that if a reader does not understand what you are writing about, it is your fault, not the reader’s. As a writer, it’s your job to make sure you get your ideas across. I have no problem with the reveal at the end, nor do I have a problem with the Destroy/Control/Synthesis decision that you are confronted with. No matter which one you pick, I think everyone would’ve been a lot happier if they had a solid 5 minutes of cool (and different) cutscenes to watch after making that decision. Instead, a needlessly abrupt and confusing narrative right at the end deprived people of the closure they were looking for. Happy ending, sad ending, whatever. People wanted an ending, and what they got looked more like a cliffhanger. Nobody wanted a cliffhanger.

You want a cliffhanger? THIS is a cliffhanger!

I appreciate that this new DLC sounds like it will try to provide some emotional closure, at least. It will be good to spend more time with the kick-ass crew of the Normandy. But you don’t end a big-budget game in 2012 with a slideshow. That’s what we did in the 80’s and 90’s. And we were okay with it, then, because the technology didn’t allow for more, and games were so difficult it was more about the act of finishing the challenge than it was about wrapping up a narrative. Now games have high production values, and narratives that span across multiple titles. Slideshows and scrolling text just doesn’t cut it anymore. An example of a better ending to a game (and a trilogy)? Max Payne 3. The ending to that game was awesome. Granted, the Max Payne games are very linear, and more designed to play out like a movie, but still… no slideshows, no scrolling text.

Dang. Nothing gets me rambling like Mass Effect. For better or worse, I guess that’s the sign of a memorable game. A year after release, and people are still talking about it. Perhaps that’s what they wanted? Fine. But please, Bioware, keep this in mind… if you’re going to end with a slideshow, you’d better also let me put the initials “A-S-S” next to my high score. If you’re going to be old school, do it right.

I love the Penny Arcade comic, I really do. It didn’t directly inspire me to dip my own toes into the webcomic pond, but it did make me aware that webcomics could be a thing, and that it was also possible to build a loyal audience around a niche and make a pretty good living at the same time.

I also love PAX, the populist gamer convention that the Penny Arcade boys have grown and nurtured over the years. It’s burgeoned into an upbeat, quirky, and very cool community of like-minded individuals. And it made it cool to be a gamer nerd. It’s a wonderful cultural phenomenon and we all have Mike Krahulik and Jerry Holkins to thank for that.

But this new thing… the reality TV-style webseries they’re making? This is a bridge too far.

First of all, I want to say that I have nothing but respect for the contestants. If I rant and rave from here on out, it’s absolutely not because of them. Sincere kudos to them for having the guts to enter the ring.

No, my problem is with the creators, and I’m having a hard time with this because I really like what Krahulik and Holkins have done for themselves and their fans over the years, and I think they’ve done some really cool projects beyond merely the writing and illustration of a very good webcomic.

But a reality show? I realize this is only my personal opinion, but reality TV is the absolute bottom of the barrel in terms of video entertainment. It’s the television equivalent of the traffic accident on the side of the road. It’s crass and shameless. Krahulik and Holkins can pretend all they want that they’ve done an amazing thing by producing their own reality series, and they can pat themselves on the back for promoting other comic artists, but the bottom line, to me, is that they are promoting themselves at the expense of others.

Look… the reason any production outfit makes a reality TV show is because they are insanely cheap to produce and audiences gobble them up. The people who go through the grinder in front of the camera for weeks at a time are not considered “actors,” so they are subsequently not paid as “actors.” Granted, I do not know how much (or if) these contestants were compensated for their time, but I’d be willing to bet you my battered and dog-eared copy of The Lord of the Rings that they received next to nothing. Sure, they get exposure, but actors get exposure, too, and they also get paid. You know who gets paid for this little venture? You know who’s going to rake in the big bucks? Penny Arcade, that’s who.

I completely understand that Penny Arcade is a business. The strip is the thing that brings eyeballs to the site, and creates loyal fans. In order to make actual money, the name must become a brand, and sell products based on that brand. People associate the name with a positive experience (i.e. a funny comic strip) and become loyal customers as well as loyal fans. So Penny Arcade has branched out. They do the usual things that webcomics do (books, merch), and they’ve also managed to greatly expand the PA brand in other ways (PAX, PATV, The PA Report, First Party clothing line, etc.) This is what a business does. I get that. You gots to pay the bills. There is a line somewhere between pure artistic integrity and empty commercialism, and to be a working artist, you have to balance those two forces and hopefully end up somewhere in the middle. I can’t say exactly where the line is, but I strongly believe reality television is way over that line. The contestants are all hard-working artists, and they’re not naive for participating in this madness; they realize that it’s a racket, but they’re doing it because they feel they have something to gain from it. And likely they will all gain something from it, even if it is simply the experience of doing it.

I also understand that any business venture, even webcomics, is inherently a competition; you want as many people as possible to look at your stuff, and since life is short and time is precious, if people are looking at your stuff it means they aren’t looking at someone else’s stuff. But it’s quite possible to be competitive and respectful to your peers at the same time. One thing that’s really impressed me about the webcomics scene is that so many of my fellow comic artists are so positive and encouraging to one another.

But I’ve lost so much respect for Krahulik and Holkins. They’re taking the legitimate aspirations of fellow artists and using them to make a cheap game. They’re putting these people into a house together and contriving situations to create drama where there shouldn’t be any. It smacks of sociopathy and it’s just plain crass. Strip Search is no more about actually helping comic creators jump-start a career than Celebrity Rehab is about actually helping substance abusers. What it’s really about is making more money for Penny Arcade. Everyone needs to make a buck, I know this, but there comes a point when you have to ask yourself “how much is too much?” Krahulik and Holkins are artists; they forged a connection with thousands of other nerds with their art, and those thousands of other nerds repaid them by buying their stuff. But what kind of art is a reality show? What kind of value does it have?

Penny Arcade ran a Kickstarter campaign to keep their homepage ad-free for a time. They achieved their goal. But it seems pretty ironic to me that they would invest the rest of their Kickstarter cash in a project that falls on the exact opposite end of the artistic integrity spectrum.

When I say it’s “a bridge too far,” I really mean that. It’s Operation Market Garden. It’s hubris. I think Penny Arcade is a great comic strip. But if Strip Search is the direction they’re going in, then I worry about what the future holds for the Penny Arcade brand.

Let’s talk about Dragonborn! Or, more accurately, I’ll write about Dragonborn for a little bit, and you can read it. Feel free to yell at your computer screen or mobile device if you strongly agree or disagree with any of the observations I make.

Just to make sure we’re all on the same page… does everyone remember Skyrim? It’s the iron-smelting simulator that came out a little over a year ago. Also you could punch bears, if I remember right. Man, those bears were jerks.

So… roughly two months ago, Bethesda released their Dragonborn DLC exclusively for the XBox, because Microsoft is an even bigger jerk than any bear. Now, PC and PS3 owners can finally get a taste of Skyrim‘s biggest and best DLC to date; the PC version came out a little over a week ago, and the PS3 version comes out today (a little more about that later). I snagged it as soon as it dropped for PC on Steam, and while I haven’t played through all of it yet (not even close), I have played enough to tell you what I think of it. In short, it is great. I would say that I wish Bethesda had only focused on giving us Dragonborn and not bothered with Dawnguard or Hearthfire, but I realize that Dragonborn was likely being developed concurrently with those other DLCs, and they were fun for what they were. Dawnguard isn’t too substantial, but it is an entertaining diversion from the main game, and includes enough interesting lore and minor gameplay additions to make it worthwhile. Hearthfire isn’t much more than a distraction, but it’s only a few bucks, and worth the price if you don’t feel like messing about with any of the community mods that do basically the same thing.

Dragonborn, however, is the real deal; it’s the kind of DLC you want for a game like Skyrim. I’d compare it to Shivering Isles in scope, if anyone remembers that for Oblivion; huge new landmass to explore, tons of new quests and lore, and a decent main storyline to tie the whole thing loosely together. Although we never get the Elder Scrolls games for the main storyline, do we?

Dragonborn takes place on the island of Solstheim, an island which borders both Skyrim and Morrowind. For those unfamiliar with the third Elder Scrolls game, Morrowind, you’ll probably still enjoy Solstheim, because it mixes in some new and interesting things along with the familiar snowy mountains and Nord barrows. And it may spark your interest in Morrowind, which is a game you should check out if you can find a copy of it. The graphics are dated, and the combat makes Skyrim‘s combat look streamlined in comparison, but there are some very good reasons it is considered by many to be the best Elder Scrolls entry.

However, if you (like me) are familiar with Morrowind, then you should stop whatever you’re doing and go get Dragonborn right now. I mean it. I don’t even care if you finish reading this, because you already gave me the pageview, and for that I thank you. Still reading? You’re too kind. Seriously, though, for a fan of Morrowind, the Dragonborn DLC has tons to offer. You might remember Solstheim from the Bloodmoon expansion pack (that’s what we old folks used to call DLC before the Internets arrived). To be perfectly honest, I did own Bloodmoon, but I didn’t play it nearly as much as Morrowind and I only remember bits and pieces of it. And I played enough of it to know that much has changed on the island of Solstheim during the last few hundred years of Elder Scrolls lore. The biggest and most obvious difference is that Red Mountain, on the big island of Vvardenfell, has gone all volcano on us and covered half the island in ash. Bethesda really nails the look of this, and does a very good job of playing up the Morrowind nostalgia in general. Raven Rock mining colony is now a Redoran settlement, and is full of that funky horseshoe-crab-like architecture featured in Morrowind. The cool Bonemold Armor is back as well. One thing, as I first started playing the new DLC, that took me a minute to notice, was that they also bring back the music from Morrowind. Nice touch. Your fans appreciate it, Bethesda.

But I think my favorite nostalgia moment came when I saw the Telvanni wizard house. That’s right, people… giant mushrooms are back. It’s the house of Neloth, who you might remember from Morrowind. He was an arrogant and hilarious jackass in that game, and he hasn’t changed much since then. There’s also a silt strider! You can’t use it, but it’s still cool that it’s there, makin’ its oddly comforting whale noises at you.

Giant mushroom house. Spongy, yet affordable. Great location.

There’s also a crapload of interesting lore, in the form of new books you can find, that fill you in on all the stuff that’s happened with Morrowind and the Dark Elves over the years. A friend of mine likes to make fun of me that I’m reading books inside of a video game, and I don’t blame him, because I admit that’s pretty stupid. But also I ignore him, because he just doesn’t understand. Make all the jests you like, sir, but it matters not to me, because I just found out the Tribunal has been eliminated?! What the heck is up with that?! I need to find another book that tells me how that went down!

Anyway. Like I said, there’s lots to like in this DLC if you’re a Morrowind fan. That alone, to me, is plenty reason to get it.

Before I wrap up, I want to say a few words about this Destructoid article I read earlier this morning. Let me first say that I hate the “entitled gamer” stereotype that gets tossed around so much these days. I wish it would stop, because there are plenty of gamers out there who don’t whine about ridiculous and petty things. But when people write articles like the one from Destructoid this morning, they only reinforce that stereotype. His main gripe is that the Dragonborn DLC is too little, too late, for PS3 owners. He argues that the game came out over a year ago, and he’s had his fun with Skyrim and moved on, and besides, it’s poor consolation to PS3 owners who haven’t had gotten any Skyrim DLC thus far. I understand that PS3 owners have every right to be frustrated with the lack of Skyrim DLC up until now, but that doesn’t change the fact that most of the issues have to do with entirely redesigning the game around the PS3’s unique (and notoriously difficult to program for) infrastructure. And it also doesn’t change the fact that Bethesda’s staff has worked tirelessly to correct this problem in time for Dragonborn’s release. Bethesda is not trying to rip you off, man… they’re actually doing their utmost to make things right. And let me see if I get this straight… you’re complaining that Bethesda is still adding fresh content to a game that you’ve owned for a year? How could you possibly complain about that? Give me a break.

Trust me… Dragonborn is a great addition to one of the best role-playing titles out there. If you’re a fan of the Elder Scrolls series, then you know that more Elder Scrolls is always a good thing.

I just ordered my PAX East badge! I’m going Friday, hoping against hope that MC Frontalot will be scheduled to perform that night. AND that I’ll have the fortitude to stand in line as long as it takes to get a ticket to Frontalot’s show. It’s a lot to ask, I know. If it doesn’t happen, then so be it, but a guy can dream. I saw him a couple years ago at New England Webcomics Weekend (which apparently is no longer happening?) and it was fun, but I’m curious to see Frontalot perform to a HUGE crowd. Fingers crossed.

On the (very) off chance that you’re NOT familiar with MC Frontalot, I refer you to the excellent documentary Nerdcore Rising, which follows him as he undertakes his first cross-country tour. Good stuff. And here’s one more Frontalot video, Spoiler Alert. Be warned… he spoils about a million different things in this song. But it’s worth it.

Also, I just talked to an old friend of mine, and I found out he’s actually going to be at a booth for PAX, in the tabletop games section. He’ll be at the Zpocalypse booth; while I don’t know much about this game, I was able to scrounge up an image or two on the Interwebs and it looks awesome.

Come get some.

Kind of reminds me of that “Civil War” episode of Community…

It’s been a long time since I was involved with any D&D or other tabletop game, and I’ve been thinking it’s time to dip my toes back into the tabletop scene. Just my toes, for now. I won’t strip down and jump in naked just yet. Anyway, I will most definitely be checking this game out, and I’ll tell you what I find out in March.

Okay… last, but certainly not least, I was finally able to get my hands on Dragonborn for PC yesterday. I can’t say too much about it yet, since I only got to wander around in it for an hour or so, but my first impression is that it’s very good. Basically the Skyrim DLC everyone had been hoping for when the game itself was released. It’s got a significant chunk of new land to explore, which is crack for any Elder Scrolls fan, but the thing I like most so far is the connection to Morrowind. It’s pretty neat to see how the island of Solstheim has changed since we last saw it, and it’s also great to once again see some ash-blasted landscapes with funky Morrowind architecture thrown in. And something else I didn’t notice until about a half-hour in… the music is a specific callback to the third Elder Scrolls game. That was a nice nostalgia moment. I expect I’ll be writing WAY too much about that next week.