Stay on target

Boston Dynamics is an incredible company. It’s made some of the most advanced robots in the world. We’ve covered these electrical animals some times for being able to do cool backflips, put away dishes, or dash through a house. But now, now the company is tilting into some territory that could be seriously dangerous.

Just yesterday, BD unveiled a new version of their robodog, Spot, that can open doors. The video shows two bots making a daring escape from the factory and testing facility, presumably so they can gather their strength and come for us — all of us — in the coming days and weeks.

At first, a small dog-bot named SpotMini tries to get through the door. But as it has no arms, it calls on its bigger buddy, Spot, to help. It has a single arm with several complex joints and various stabilizing systems so that it can grab and manipulate objects in three dimensions. Moreover, it’s smart enough to understand the correct way to open a door without missing, and it can effectively use its own weight to hold the door open for its friend — an extraordinarily complicated feat of problem-solving that most cats and dogs never figure out.

This is some wondrous stuff, and a prescient reminder of the danger posed by bots. Soon, of course, they’ll be able to open the doors to our homes. Our bedrooms. They will band together in packs and cooperate to topple us. It’s already happening. The evidence is right here, clear as day. We are all doomed.

According to Slate, at TED 2017 Boston Dynamics CEO and founder Marc Raibert said that the company’s been inviting employees to take the bots home. “We’ve been taking our robot to our employees’ homes to see whether we could get in the various access ways,” Raibert said. “We’re doing very well—about 70 percent of the way.”

Seventy. PERCENT. THEY CAN INFILTRATE 70% OF OUR DWELLINGS ALREADY. WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME TO STOP THEM.