a small scottish man who is extremely tight with money, is secretly gay and has a fetish for playing with whippets nipples, and a fetish for shiting in plastic bags.

man 1. 'is (name of person) no coming out for a cast the day?'
man 2. 'na, the angry hobbit is miserable, he wont pay petrol to get here, he is probably playing with his whippet or shitting in a bag somewhere'.