The lamp-posts are poetical...the lamp-post really has the whole poetry of man, for no other creature can lift a flame so high and guard it so well. --G K Chesterton, London Times July 24, 1909.

"As she stood looking at it, wondering why there was a lamp-post in the middle of a wood and wondering what to do next, she heard a pitter patter of feet coming toward her..." (C S Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Cliches

A few years ago I started a sermon with a compilation of funny and nonsensical cliches. It went like this:

Cliché Analogies

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. And if that horse is stubborn as a mule than there is no sense beating a dead horse.

It’s important to have all your ducks lined up in a row, because Birds of a feather flock together. Besides that a bird in the hand is worth two in the air, but that’s okay if you can Kill two birds with one stone so long as you don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Because you don’t know which came first the chicken or the eggAnd at the end of the day, To make an omelette you have to break a few eggs

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. That’s too bad because Dog is man’s best friend even though it’s a Dog eat dog world. The last thing you want is to find yourself in the doghouse. Unless of course it’s Raining cats and dogs. In which case try to be a cool cat because their Bark is worse than their bite! One more. You need to be able to Read people like a book, because some people even though they are as Quick as a whip and Sharp as a tack and maybe even cute as a button they will still Lie like a rug. So if you don’t know what you are doing you will be as Blind as a bat and as Dumb as doorknob, all dressed up with no place to go, and Standing there with your head in the sand, your tail between your legs, not knowing which way is up, and one thing is for sure you will not be happy as a clam.