Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.

Still a virgin

I am going to be twenty-three tomorrow, and I am still a virgin. I feel ashamed of it, even though I know it's better that I don't sleep around. Everyone I know isn't one, and I always feel awkward when they talk about sex. I've never been in a relationship because I am ugly. I'm worried that I never will be in one, and I am worried I will always be a virgin. And if I do meet a guy that can see past the ugliness, what if he is turned off by a 23 year old virgin? It's unheard of for someone my age in this society to be one, so he might think there is something wrong with me. Ten years ago I never thought I'd be single and alone. I don't want to go sleeping around, but I don't want to be a virgin anymore.

I was a virgin at 21. I can truely relate to your feelings. I got to the point I just wanted to get it over with..not the right choice for me.I let my brothers girl friend seduce me after we had been drinking. I never saw her again and was terribly depressed from it. If i could do it over I would still be a virgin unless i was with the women I loved.

You should have 'pride' sweet heart..dont let a society full of people who make bad choices influence your good one here.Its okay and more comin than you may realize.Take good care-

Ashley868, i completely relate with you, im 19 though but i thought before i graduate high school i would be rid of my virginity, then i became ashamed of &quot;never getting any&quot;, and i am embrassed to tell people that....anyways when one of my friends offered me sex and turned me down because i was a virgin it made it worse on my self esteem and made me think i was just too fat, whether or not it was true, he said he lost his to a girl that meant nothing to him, and he suffered emotional pain afterwards, and he didnt want to do that to me just because he was aroused....i know how you feel i feel ugly and fat, and ive never been in a relationship at all, ive never even been kissed, im here if you need me though

Hi, you! Wanna be virgin buddies? Hehe, I don't see there being anything wrong with it. In fact, I have a friend - Rich - whose thirty something and is still a virgin.

You know~ you don't have to have sex to be able to talk about it. I've done my research when it comes to the diseases, interesting facts, and whatnot. Apparently I sure don't talk as a virgin &quot;should&quot;, but that matters not.

Nobody really needs to know if you're a virgin or not. Bah, society is only a group of individuals -- so yeah, there's plenty of individuals who aren't virgins, but nonetheless there are some who are. The fact is, you're surrounded by people who aren't. That's nothing to ashamed of.

I mean, I go to a group called Black Achievers and I'm the only one of two people who have a light complexion while the other fifteen vary from a light mocha to dark chocolate. I'm completely comfortable being different, but it was tough at first seeing how I started as the first one who wasn't the same as the &quot;group&quot;. But over time, we got to know each other and realize besides a few cultural differences -- we were still people, and soon friends.

There's nothing special about having sex, it's the other person that you have it with. Either a drunk frat whose going to add another notch or someone else whose new at it, just as nervous who really knows and cares for you making it special. Even if maybe both parties have no idea what they're doing in the latter situation.

I'll be 29 in a month and I'll still be a virgin and there is NO REASON to be ashamed. What is so great about just fucking around for whoever walks by? What's so great about worrying about pregnancy and disease? What's so great about doing something that you don't really want to or aren't ready for just because other people are doing it?

Don't be a sheep. Do it because you are ready, because you want to and in my eyes, do it for love. Make it more about the emotion than the physical.

If it makes you feel any better, I'll be 34 and I'm still a virgin. The only thing I've eever done was kiss a guy. I understand your struggles because I have them. In this perverted sexually charged world when you have people that still hold sex as something valuable, they're looked upon as freaks. It's like what's wrong with you? People can't seem to understand that I want to have sex with somebody I love not somebody who just looks good or have great sexual skills. There is so much more to a relationship that sex. It's a sad country we live in and I don't see it getting any better.

Some people must have misunderstood me. I never said that I was going to go sleeping around. This was just a venting post. I thought I could do that here without being judged?

I know I don't have to tell most people I'm still a virgin, but if I ever get in a potential relationship, it will come up. The guy will find out that I've never been in a relationship, and then he'll find out that I am not experienced, and that I am a virgin. I read magazines and stuff online all the time. I read that guys will think that there is probably something wrong with me, and if not, they will think I'll be clingy after they take my virginity.

I could say I am saving myself for marriage to them, but that would be a lie since I'm not. I'm waiting for a committed relationship. And yet, here I am at the age of 23 and haven't been in one. I've only ever kissed a couple of guys and I don't even think I did it right since I didn't enjoy. I like the kissing part, I just hated french kissing, it made me gag.

My friends think I'm not though, so I guess that's good. They don't ever need to know the truth, it's not like they can find out.

Ashley, I don't think that anyone was judging you. What they were trying to say is that you should keep on keeping on without allowing what others think to get you down, because although people who have sex promote themselves as being more sophisticated or mature the truth is that they are no smarter or better than you are.

Twenty-three? You're just a kid! I'm forty! And there are virgins even older than me. Believe me you're not alone.

Y should dis world turn out like dis? I thought in d days of old Virginity was somthn 2 b proud of. Look When the time's right, a man who loves U wud come by. I wish U'd see d bible n know dat ur blessed to be a virgin. When u lose dat gift 2 ur husband, U'd b more fulfilled.

Ashley...I hope you don't think my post was judging you. I reread it and I do sound like quite the you know what. I didn't mean to judge you or assume you were just gonna go out and just start sleeping around! I can't apologize enough if that's what you thought and if I hurt your feelings in ANY way. I just don't think you should be ashamed or feel any kind of guilt or negative feelings about being a virgin. Be proud of it, it's something that is truly yours and should be something you give to someone you love, not something you lose.

@MissDaphne- people tell me all the time to my face that I am ugly. I always try to work on my appearance, but it doesn't matter, people still make fun of me. I wear nice clothes, I do up my hair, and occasionally, I will wear makeup.

Ashley, just because people say things that doesn't make them true. People say and do things for a lot of reasons that often have nothing to do with you. I can sort of relate to where you're coming from because I was bullied and picked on when I was growing up. I was called just about everything, including ugly, but the difference between me and you is that I never internalized it or believed it. I learned from experience that when people don't like you for no apparent reason it's either out of envy or ignorance.

I really don't know what I can say to you that would make your situation any better. I remember people telling me to ignore the bullying, but that's hard to do when when you have to face it everyday. Yet I got through it and I am a much stronger person because of it. I developed a thick skin and I have come to be very independent and very outspoken. That's how I managed to keep my Virginity for so long. Because no matter how lonely things get, or much people may laugh at me or call me a freak -- I know who I am, and I know that my lifestyle is just as valid as anyone else's. These are things that you have to learn for yourself, but right now I'm hoping that there are plenty of people here who will lend you support. I know I will.

Losing your virginity wo'nt make you feel any better but in fact worse,for you have to like yourself first before anything else.If you do'nt like yourself than you will always feel hurt.I thought being a vigin at 25 was bad for me but found out once I lost it I still felt pretty lonely.I am just starting to find myself and like me for me.

I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

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