June 22, 2008

"He has five or six brains which are remarkably irrigated," wrote Carla Bruni, explaining her love for Nicolas Sarkozy, quoted in Maureen Dowd's column today. That kills me.

But here's what I want to talk about:

If an American first lady, or would-be first lady, described herself as a “tamer of men” and had a “man-eating” past filled with naked pictures, Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton, sultry prone CD covers, breaking up marriages, bragging that she believes in polygamy and polyandry rather than monogamy, and having a son with a married philosopher whose father she had had an affair with, it would take more than an appearance on “The View” to sweeten her image.

It’s hard to imagine the decibel level on Fox News if Michelle Obama put out a CD this summer, as Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is, with songs featuring lyrics like “I am a child/despite my 40 years/despite my 30 lovers/a child”; and this song, “Ma came”: “You are my junk/more deadly than Afghan heroin/more dangerous than Colombian white. .../My guy, I roll him up and smoke him.”

Why aren't Americans more like the French? But, really, the complaints you hear about Michelle Obama are not about sex, drugs, and rock and roll. They're about patriotism and racism.

Is it really the case that the French would shrug it off if Bruni's lyrics were "God damn France" and a rant against the nonwhite French? The Obama campaign has to respond to the interpretation of things Michelle Obama has said — "for the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country" — and rumors about what she is purported to have said — "whitey" — or condoned — Jeremiah Wright's "God damn America."

It makes no sense to suggest that we could just be more like the French. Imagine how the French would react if Bruni's songs had racist and anti-patriotic lines that were exactly strong as those sex and drugs lines. And if they did just smirk and tolerate it, would you think it a good example of sophistication for Americans?

And by the way, it's not good feminism to think that a President's spouse is a fluffy, silly decoration whose words don't matter. She is a human being who should be taken seriously, and she will be in a position to influence and advise the President. We should care what she thinks.

Now, we could have a Carla Bruni type First Lady, whose interests are fashion and music. That might be great fun. But Michelle Obama has not defined and presented herself that way. She is a Harvard-trained lawyer who has given long speeches on substantive issues. To respond to her the way French respond to Carla Bruni would be to insult her.

I'm reminded of hiring highly qualified women into science departments in the early 90s, the era of highly qualified woman talk. The men all think, is that cool or what! A woman you can talk to! They wind up on the women's workplace issues committee. They organize conferences. An interest in science does not sustain them the way it does an obsessed man.

Michelle Obama presents herself as a political force, gives speeches on her husband's behalf and probably has some views that a lot of Americans find off-putting.

If Obama's elected, it will be clear that she'll be in the Rosalyn(sp?) Carter, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Reagan mold of very public adviser and not a homebody who keeps out of politics like Tricia Nixon or Laura Bush.

She is and should be discussed as a political force (by her own choice and actions).

Bruni is a stone cold hoochie who wanted to notch up a head of state (or another one? who can keep track) and has no apparent interests besides herself, fashion and the next hittable alpha male on the horizon. It would be absurd to discuss her in political terms.

As none other than Dr. Laura has written, you can't seduce a man by nagging him into bed. Carla appears to understand that.

Having said that, my take on Michelle, and a lot of public figures and politicians in the U.S. these days, is that they don't know squat about nature and the natural rhythm of things. Not having spent time with plants and dirt, they haven’t learned yet that you can't grow a good garden if you tramp down one row while you are watering and weeding the adjoining row.

But, somehow, Carla seems to understand the force of nature quite well. She seems to know that a plant puts out a flower to attract the bees; it doesn’t nag and lecture to the bees as a “powerful plant.”

With the above in mind, I say that no one should be allowed to be in the office of, or near the presidency, unless and until they have actually successfully grown a both a flower and a vegetable garden for 3 or 4 seasons. Michelle needs to spend more time with the onions and green beans.

Now, you take Obama in this regard. At least Obama talks like he knows how to grow a full garden and complete garden. He points out the poisons and weeds that hinder the growth. His only twp problems are that he keeps replanting the plants in different places, and when a plant gets over the border he declares that it wasn’t the plant he thought it was, and rips it out by its roots, like a weed. (And takes a few surrounding plants in the pull.)

For me, the Amazon ads on this page--the page of just this post--are French. There's Sarkozy's book and a couple of Bruni's albums, but happily, I mean heureusement, the top ad is for that most vital of French philsophes, Gilles Bensimon.

I thought that looked wrong when I wrote it but was too arrogant to fact check.

And (rising to the occasion) it sort of makes my point, Tricia, was IIRC more vocal than her mother politically. Was she the one who said she'd 'lay down and die' for the South Vietnamese government at the time or was that her sister (whose name I'm blanking on). Pat Nixon was so quiet and restrained it was easy to forget her name.

Sarkozy and Obama should swap wives for a couple weeks to see who has it better like on that show. It would be fun, and the people of the world could vote on which couple was more demented. I think Obama would be happier with the trade than Sarkozy, but you never know until after the shows are over and the interviews.

She is a Harvard-trained lawyer who has given long speeches on substantive issues.

No, the correct answer is - something the media rarely mentions - is she WAS a Harvard lawyer who quit and gave up her law license in 1993 after things hadn't gone so swimmingly at Sidley. And she has basically worked since then in light duty or no show patronage jobs, still lucrative by most Americans reckoning - Obama's wealthy benefactors arranged for her in the Daley machine through their past billionaire minority play toy Valerie Jarrett, then at the U of Chicago where they control the Board and "special job positions".

Would the French be so loving if Carla had said, "For the first time in my life I am proud of France" ?Would they endorse being a member of a group whose leader was quoted on DVD saying "God Damn France" ?I suspect that some of the French would - they did have Laval as a leader.

I like Carla, and wish she was in America. The French should be thankfull that the Obamas are 3000 miles away.