Ask Marilyn: Why Are Self-Performed Foot Rubs Less Satisfying?

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Marilyn

Why does a foot rub feel good only when someone else does it? Marilyn responds:

For the same reason you can’t tickle yourself: As our bodies are bombarded with sensory stimulation, our brains have evolved to turn down the volume on input that we produce ourselves. This allows you to ignore sensations that don’t warrant attention, such as the pressure on your foot every time you take a step. It also explains why brushing your own tangled hair hurts less than when your hairdresser does it. And parents who spank are wrong to say, “This hurts me more than it does you.” Yes, they’re referring to psychic pain, but they may not realize that, in a physical sense, the child feels a slap harder than they do because it comes from an outside source. The brain of the parent tones down the sensation on his or her hand, but the child’s brain allows the full sting. This is one reason fights escalate quickly, especially among children, who have less control over their emotions. The pain you feel when you hit someone is less intense than the pain felt by the receiver. If the person retaliates, you’ll feel that you received a harder blow than you gave. Before you know it, the fight may be out of control. It’s something to think about before you ever touch another person in any way that is less than loving.