Principles for Relationships from God's Word by Claudio Consuegra

Get closer in three minutes – 1

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:3 (NKJV)

If we would come across an exercise program that would tell us that in only three minutes a day we could remain in good health, and shape, we would probably be excited and eager to do it. Well. Leslie Becker-Phelps[i], who writes for WebMD says that we can have get closer in our relationship with our spouse and learn more about them with a simple three-minute exercise. It can help you get in touch with what is important to you, as well as to learn what’s important to the other person.

While the exercise itself doesn’t take a long time, it would be best if you do it when you can be together without time pressures. Begin by relaxing with each other for a while. Don’t feel like you have to push through the exercise so you can get onto your next task. Once you’re ready, here’s the exercise, as described by Becker-Phelps:

Sit in chairs facing each other so that you can make eye contact through the exercise.

Set a timer for 3 minutes. (You can set it for 5 minutes if you are really ambitious)

One of you will say, “Tell me what you love.”

The other person will share their response. (Allow the response to emerge from within you rather than searching for an answer. It might help for you to repeat the request to yourself.)

Then start over again – in the same roles – with the first person asking, “Tell me what you love” and the other person answering. Repeat this until the timer sounds.

Close your eyes and sit quietly together for a moment.

Briefly share thoughts with each other about this experience.

Reset the timer and do the exercise with your roles switched.

We will continue with the rest of the exercise tomorrow, so you have time to rehearse these instructions and prepare for the rest.