4 Folk, Walking the Dogs

May 31st 2018

My Goddamn car stinks of silage. The camping trip seems to have repercussions way beyond the usual fear and fear royale manifesting itself after sessions such as the we had last weekend. This time the fact of packing away the tent in the soaking wetness has given a particularly pungent odour to my car. I didn’t realise as my nose is selective in what it smells, however when my daughter got into get a lift to school yesterday morning for her China trip she more than turned her wrinkled nose up and remarked how foul my car smelt. If she swore, which I’m sure she probably does with her mates, then she would have peppered the sentence with expletives stronger than flippin’ eck! So giving my work colleague a lift to Bath yesterday I had to make my excuses, he said it didn’t bother him, but you don’t know do you. Added to the issue was the fact that my walking boots have not dried out either and so they stink too. It is for this very reason I have ordered another pair of walking boots from work which you, the tax payer in UK, are paying for due to the government business I am involved in, don’t like to talk about it! So it was with a sadness that I put on my walking boots to walk into the woods this morning, I gave them a cursory whiff prior to slipping them on and can not wait for new ones, they’ve been taking a hammering since I’ve lost my wellingtons in Butlins and so I’ve come round to the acceptance of having to buy a new pair; especially due to the awfully wet and hot weather we are experiencing. This makes me sad as I was hoping to last the summer and spring without and to cope with my crocs and trainers. Anyway I spoke to N and M, freshly returned from his European sojourn, and what a coincidence that N had seen something on the telly only last night which concerned removing nasty niffs from cars. So Fact fans; here’s your Uncorroborated but possibly true Fact of the Day: All one has to do is to put some white vinegar in a bowl in the closed car and the liquid will suck up the smell, somehow. Tomorrow my car will be Silage smell free, I hope. Watch this space.

This morning the walk has been thrown into confusion due to the Rapeseed crops flowers having dropped, thus the bright yellow field has now changed into a dull green of tangled soaking wet croppage. This phenomenon is called by M as the “Flower Seed Visual” which I like but suspect has no basis in fact. The path through the field has been swallowed up and so to cross the field would be foolhardy, the legs would be soaked to the skin before you could say, “Jack Robinson”, should you choose to do so. The boys N and M had to travel a different way and we met on the “doesn’t matter” stretch of the walk (more later). So we started on the end bit of the walk, myself heading up the down hill and N and M looking to all as though they’re approaching the end. Its all so confusing; the windows are where the doors should be and the doors are where the windows should be, (see tune below)

The discussion turned to tadpoles and their sad demise, and we decided unanimously to save some next year, to scoop some up in a bucket and nurture them at home, then setting them free back into the woods when they’ve got legs or have enough large sheltered puddles to survive in. Free the Tadpoles! Power to the Tadpoles! Long live the Tadpoles before they turn into frogs, toads or newts(?)!

Anyway hope you enjoy the music, and maybe I’ll scribble something else down later on today.