My dating patterns are very strange. Or at least, they seemed strange to me for a long time since I refused to reflect upon it, instead opting to just claim bad luck or a lack of options. But it's more than that, I think. The real problem is that I need a challenge. The thing which determines how attractive a girl is to me is the challenge she represents - but in all too many cases, there's only fun in the chase, since I find out all too quickly that she's not engaging or she's too flippant for words. So it seems only natural that I would turn to the only type of girl who can offer a lasting challenge for me, when it comes down to relationships.

I end up being with people who live in other states becuase it makes it all the more difficult. I choose people who don't really like who I am, or who lie to me and constantly fail to be open. I exchange the healthy type of challenging for the horribly self-destructive variety. And so it goes.