I have sat down to write this post so many times and abandoned the effort because I didn’t know if I was going to be able to summon the words to describe what a sacred and spiritual experience labor was for me this time around. Yes. Sacred and spiritual. Words you never thought you’d hear from someone who can talk about breakfast cereal and hemorrhoids in the same sentence with the hemorrhoids being the part that didn’t make you throw up.

Up until about the 30th week of my pregnancy I hadn’t given labor much thought, only that I was going to ask for the epidural two days before contractions started. I’m not kidding, that was the extent of my birth plan. There was no need to experience any of the pain, I thought, especially since I had been through this before and I remember thinking that the pain was so awful that it was going to kill me. Give me the epidural and any other pain relief, maybe throw in a couple dozen shots of bourbon, oh and how about you just put me under general anesthesia and wake me up two days later. I’m not good with pain. I tend to complain and holler and call people regrettable things. It’s like the Hulk, only he’s on his period.

I was also under the impression, having never really researched the subject whatsoever, that any woman who would opt for a homebirth was not only COMPLETELY OUT OF HER MIND but also not interested in the safety of her unborn child. I mean, there’s a reason that infant and maternal mortality rates are so much better than a hundred years ago, right? HOSPITALS. And MEDICINE. And smart people we call DOCTORS. Yes, women routinely used to go out into the field by themselves and give birth without any assistance, and many of them routinely did not return BECAUSE THEY DIED.

But then out of no where the publishers of Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein’s book Your Best Birth sent me a copy, just like the publishers of many books send me copies of other books all the time. Internet, I have rooms full of books that publishers have sent me. ROOMS FULL. And I was just about to toss this onto the mountainous pile of ones I’d eventually drop off at Goodwill when, I don’t know, I flipped through a few pages and gave a full minute to one or two paragraphs. And those two paragraphs happened to be ones that really pissed me off. So much so that I read them aloud to Jon and said something like GOD, THOSE HIPPIES! or I BET THEY SMELL LIKE PATCHOULI!

You know, something totally open-minded.

Those paragraphs pissed me off so badly, in fact, that the one part of me that resembles my father the most — no, not the pointy chin or the metabolism or the absolute inability to watch a movie where everything goes wrong and the protagonist just keeps getting pummeled by life and I’m all MAKE IT STOP and then I have get up and actually leave the theater, no, none of those things — my righteous indignation, it flared up so magnificently that I sat down to read the whole book, just so that I could be angry at it. WHO DOES SHIT LIKE THIS? Me and Michael Hamilton, that’s who. Both he and I will go to our graves filled with an inordinate amount of unproductive anger, but a smile will mark our faces because we will feel so justified. So RIGHT.

And then, oh God, the worst thing happened. And I didn’t even see it coming, but I’m sitting there reading that book, gritting my teeth, shaking my head when all of a sudden it started to make sense. I started to see just how medicalized labor and birth have become in America AND THERE GOES MY WORLD VIEW.

I’m not going to get into the specifics and the really convincing and at times jaw-dropping statistics of it here, there are so many other places and people who can write about it better than I can, but I will say this: if you are pregnant or are planning to become pregnant, GO READ THAT BOOK. From now on when someone asks me what is the one piece of advice I would give to a pregnant woman, it will be: GO BUY A COPY OF THAT BOOK. Listen, I am not affiliated with that book in any way, I do not know Ricki Lake, she and I do not vacation in St. Tropez together (although if she’d like to come ride four-wheelers at my Mom’s cabin in Duchesne, Utah, THE OFFER STANDS), I do not owe that publisher any favors. But IT CHANGED MY LIFE. I’m not even kidding, I’ll say it again: IT CHANGED MY LIFE.

So then I watched the documentary Ricki Lake made, The Business of Being Born and that sealed it for me, I got my hands on everything I could read about natural childbirth. I read websites, forums, several other books including the excellent Birthing from Within, and then I talked to everyone I could find who had experienced birth without drugs. It just made a lot of sense to me, and after working through the specifics of what I went through when I was in labor with Leta — what I would call a classic example of a medicalized American labor and delivery minus the c-section — I decided that I wanted to have a natural childbirth this time. A very personal decision that made Jon go, HUH?????

And then he choked on those questions marks and fell over.

First, there were several obstacles to overcome. One, I had to convince Jon that I wasn’t crazy. I had done so much reading and research that I had gone from thinking homebirthing was NUTSO to wanting to push the baby out in the tiny tub we have in the bathroom next to the garage with no one in the room but Jon and a midwife. Oooh, and lots of candles!

But I knew Jon would never be okay with a homebirth, and since I was going to need his help getting through the pain of a drug-free labor even in a hospital setting, having him on board was critical. Two, what was my OBGYN going to do when suddenly the woman who was all EPIDURAL ON THE ROCKS, PLEASE! suddenly starting asking about the c-section rate at the hospital, and what was her policy on episiotomies? And this? And that? And, what do you know, she started fidgeting nervously, biting her lower lip, subtly shaking her head, and that was the quickest check-up I’d had the whole pregnancy!

Now, I really like my OBGYN. She’s the complete opposite of me, very cheery and all smiles, and I bet she was popular in high school, as in, when she thinks back on those four years she doesn’t SHIT HER PANTS like I do. And instead of writing her off as someone who would purposefully stand in the way of a natural childbirth and seeking out another doctor or midwife at such a late date, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

And I’m glad I did, because she did nothing but encourage my plans throughout the subsequent check-ups.

And hoo-boy, there was planning. Because if I was remembering correctly there was a point in my labor with Leta when the pain had become so unbearable that I think I may have actually died, gone to Hell, and when Satan saw that it was me he was all, no, no, no, not that woman, I am not about to spend eternity with someone so crass that they would casually talk about duck farts while I’m eating small children for breakfast. Send her back!

I was going to need to prepare myself for the pain, mentally, physically, and emotionally, and surround myself with a team of people who could help me through it. So I hired a doula, and then I gathered the people who were going to be with me during labor and we worked through what I wanted and how to make that happen. Mind you, I went into this knowing fully that what I wanted to happen could be completely derailed by any sort of crisis concerning me or the baby. Making it out alive with a healthy baby was my top priority, of course, but if there was no need for pitocin or an epidural or intravenous drugs or a vacuum or forceps or an oxygen mask or an emergency c-section, then that’s what I wanted.

And really, that’s not a lot to ask.

….

Jon just walked in with Marlo and my milk came in so hard that it exploded all over the keyboard. Imagery! And I just realized how long this post is already, and I haven’t even gotten to the part where I asked our server at Outback Steakhouse if she’d be willing to cut the umbilical cord. Part two coming soon!

Related:

Clapply wildly! I think it’s amazing that you found the book before Marlo was born and THANK YOU in advance for showing women that CHOICE in birth options is where women’s health care should be focused.

natt

mags

I am a convert to natural childbirth too! My first baby was induced in hospital 10 days late. Like a domino effect, we suffered through every intervention possible, barring a c-section and most complications resulting from the interventions such as hemorrhaging, blood pressure drop, and many others. It was a train wreck and a bloodbath. He was a big boy, 10 lbs with a 15 1/2 head, but I was having no trouble at all til the epidural was administered. I still have an episiotomy scar on my inner thigh even though it was 19 yrs ago. I swore afterwards he was going to be an only child.

He was the best baby ever, as perfect and happy as a human can be, so I later decided to do it again but entirely differently. The next two babies were also born in hospital (I have two hour labors and the only birthing center was too far away) but had wonderful midwives, no meds, no episotomies. I was walking to the shower within two hours, and the babies were alert and nursing within minutes. They were 9 lbs and 9 lbs 8 oz each so the size was not significantly different. If I could have done a birthing center I would have done it without question.

I have so much trust and confidence in and respect for my body as a result of these births, and I would do it again in a heartbeat if my life allowed it. This was especially powerful for me since I also suffer from chronic profound depression and anxiety and had often felt like my body/brain was flawed because of it. (I have been living better with pharmaceuticals since the 80′s!)

Congratulations, Heather and all the Armstrongs!

Sarah

YEAH! I gave birth to my FIRST baby at home in a little under 10 hours and he weighed in at whooping 9 lbs 7 oz. If I can do it, anyone can!

Thanks for spreading the word!

freddy

I’m due in 8 weeks and still struggling with some of the final decisions…as well as wondering if I’ll be strong enough in the moment to ‘say no to drugs.’ I’m very interested to read the rest of the saga. Thank you for sharing your experience.

http://labradoris.weebly.com/blog-entries.html Labradoris

I love it when you hit your writing pace. It is thrilling to behold! Excited for the rest of the parts.

Janie

I am so happy for you! I had a “natural” birth for my second child and I felt in awe of the entire experience. It was mind-blowing! I am greatly indebted to Ricki Lake and company and their documentary.

Ann

I absolutely cannot wait to hear the rest of this!

Lori

When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I wanted to arrange for the epidural in the hospital parking lot. I loved reading your post and can’t wait for Part 2. It’s so great that you admit openly about changing your mind about something you already had a strong opinion on. I love reading your blog. It encourages people to be authentic.

Janie

Hmm. Maybe the second installment will clear things up, but I’m a little befuddled. Eighteen years ago I reviewed my Lamaze book, went into labor, checked into the hospital, declined an epidural, and gave birth to my second child. Not an epiphany, just a choice–first kid was a footling breech C-section, and I knew I wanted nothing to do with an epidural again. But hundreds of thousands of women have done the same thing without Ricki Lake’s guidance. I think it’s lovely that a book helped you overcome your fears, but I don’t see how this is a big revelation to anyone. Haven’t we known about the benefits of natural childbirth, and hasn’t every woman been taking Lamaze classes, for, like, decades?

Lara Prestipino

Thank you, Heather. It does matter and you are wonderful for spreading the word.
from a natural childbirth (Bradley Method)instructor in Chicago

Mia

YES! It sounds AWESOME! Can’t wait to read the rest.

My family thought I was bat shit insane when I told them I was having my first child at home. (I’m not exactly granola material)
But it was so peaceful and empowering. It is a memory I will have for the rest of my life and I sincerely hope other women who have the inclination will have access to good info so they can make an informed choice.

Elle

OMG!!! I am SO THRILLED to hear that you had a natural birth! I had my baby girl at a birth center last September and I just think it was the best thing ever (even though I pushed for just over 5 hours!) Way to go Heather!! I can’t wait to hear more!!!

http://www.Beverly-Useyourwords.blogspot.com Beverly

I felt as you did 39 years ago when people thought you were crazy. I just wanted to be the first to see my own baby. I had been the one carrying him around in my body and I wanted to see him immediately. However, as a NICU nurse, I would only have done so in a hospital….Natural childbirth, one without drugs, is my way. It was the best experience of my life…both times.

Gail

Oh, I *remember* those days of looking down at my breasts and knowing that they had their own agenda and then just giving in and going “Mooooooooooooooooo”. The oooooh and owwwwww of fullness and the sweet release and aaaaaahs of successful nursing. I actually miss the absurdity of those days. Thanks for the reminder!

Mel

I was considered crazy by my MIL because I used a birth center for my second child’s birth and not a hospital. I wasn’t crazy for the first baby because at least it was with a midwife in a hospital. But my husband and I felt very comfortable with our choice and plan since we had done our research. And everything went well, even though my husband didn’t get to actually see the birth because he was holding me up while I gave birth standing up. Yes, standing up and it was safe, the baby was fine! Folks need to do what you did – read, read, read, watch birthing movies and videos – now they even have them on You Tube! Spend less time researching strollers and high chairs and more time learning about NCB and what actually happens in a hospital birth and why, etc. And even if you plan for NCB, or a medicated birth, be informed about the other possibilities, because they can happen despite all the planning.

Debi

There are Drugs? Really? Just kidding

I had all (6) of my babies naturally with no drugs. Childbirth is such an amazing experience I wouldn’t want to have dimmed it with meds. & I was always afraid of drug side affects since, if and when there are any, I seem to always get them. (hence 6 pregnancy’s in spite of 6 different birth controls) Lamaze was a great GREAT help though. I still practice it to this day, helps in those stressful ‘I now understand why animals eat their young’ days

Carolina

Dear Heather,

I have followed your writing since god knows when. I am Chilean (living in Chile).
I am so proud of what you have achieved throughout these years. My mother suffered a very deep and difficult depression a few years ago and I know how hard it can be… so I am very happy to see how happy you are now enjoying the health and love of your two children and your incredible husband.
I hope one day I can be as strong as you are!
You are my hero!
Love, Carolina.

http://www.bhappenings.blogspot.com Betina

Heather,
I gave birth to my first/fourth child in January. I adopted 3 then found out the fertility docs were wrong… I was, in fact, fertile.

Ricki Lake’s book was not out yet, but I did, by the grace of God, come across her movie that you mentioned. After seeing that I did the same thing you did. I researched and read and became convinced that if I only had one chance on this earth to experience child birth that I wanted to do it the way my body was meant to.

Thanks for sharing your experience. When I think of the birth of my first/fourth child I still get tears in my eyes. Amazing. LIfe altering. Empowering. Beautiful… and more than anything it gave me a closer glimpse into what the first mothers of my first 3 children sacrificed.

Anyway.

Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous

“It’s like the Hulk, only he’s on his period” so needs to be next month’s banner.

http://www.iambossy.com/ BOSSY

And now the Outback Steakhouse has its new t-shirt saying.

Anonymous

How can you leave us hanging like this???? Need to know more. I’m 6 months pregnant and all this week I’ve been contemplating going the drug-free route this time around and this is the third sign I’ve received in the past two days that I need to watch The Business of Being Born. I can’t wait to hear the rest of your labor story because I’m right on the cusp of firing my OB/GYN and hiring a midwife, even though it scares me shitless.

Dharma

Good Lord…..I must be reallyyyyyyyyy Canadian cause epidurals do not fall from the sky upon request up here y’all I did natural childbirth in hospital with both my boys. Best for Mumma and best for baby in my opinion….but hey, I had 2 kids so we’ve established I’m insane…

Love the Satan throwing you back part, Heather. Hilarious.

http://www.ramblingsbyreba.com Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba)

I’ve never given birth. I’ve never been pregnant.

BUT.

I watched “The Business of Being Born” and LOVED it. I recently checked out that Ricki Lake book and look forward to reading it. I just reserved “Birthing from Within,” because it sounds like something I’d like.

Way to go, you!

BTW, you might also like the book “Baby Catcher.” It’s about a lay midwife. In fact, based on what I read here, I bet you’d LOVE it.

Yay again, you!

Christina

The Business of Being Born completely changed my views on home and natural births. Amazing film.

I still think freebirthing is INSANE though.

Rachel D.

Wow, I’m so happy for you, and so glad you read that book! I would also recommend “Misconceptions” by Naomi Wolf for anyone out there who wants another great book on the subject. I had natural labor/births for 2 children, and it was absolutely wonderful. The pain is real, and intense, but manageable. Like you said, the bonding and spirituality of it makes it very worth it.

Now if only you would start researching vaccinations and side effects! You never know, maybe us hippies aren’t so nutso after all..

http://www,orange-rhymes.com/go Nikki

I haven’t even finished reading this post yet and I had to comment. I’m pregnant with my first, and a friend of mine recommended that I check out the midwives at UCLA. I, too, had always thought that “midwives” and “homebirth” were something for crazy hippy people who didn’t shave very often.

But from there, I went and rented The Business of Being Born – I was probably only about 2 months in when I watched it, and I was HORRIFIED, after watching that movie. Horrified at the state of birth in the United States, that is.

I immediately decided that I was going au natural, using midwives and I have to say – considering this is my first child, with all the research and reading I’ve been doing about natural childbirth, I’m not the slightest bit scared. I’m not even afraid of all the pain – especially after hearing about how all the drugs, and that nasty pitocin they give women, actually makes the pain WORSE.

There’s so much research to prove that giving birth naturally is SO MUCH safer & better for your baby, and isn’t that who you should be most concerned about?

Anyway, so – YAY! Thank you so much for writing about this, because I feel like the truth about drugs/birth/natural childbirth really needs to be told to more women. Before someone suggested the midwives to me, it never really occurred to me that I had other options.

http://coconutbelly.blogspot.com jen

i’ve accomplished two completely natural childbirth experiences and am currently preparing for a third …
it is an experience beyond anything … sacred and spiritual only begin to describe it.
funny … the other day my husband overheard a neighbor that had just had a baby mention something about how awesome the epidural was. later he walked into the house and wrapped his arms around me and said (excuse me while i cry here – damn pregnancy hormones) something about being proud of me for having our babies naturally. (see, i can’t even remember exactly and it still makes me cry.)
i’m proud of you for reading and learning and doing. i can’t wait to hear the rest of the story.

Rachel

I haven’t read through all the comments, so I’m probably not the first to say this, but I thought “Business of Being Born,” while interesting and thought-provoking, was also rather biased. Not to say that there isn’t an epidemic of medicalization, but doctors are not the enemy. I also was personally offended by some of the comments therein. The main one that comes to mind was by an older gentleman; I forget exactly what he said but it felt very much like he was suggesting that my bond with my mother (I’m adopted) was necessarily and irretrievably less than that shared by a biological child and mother. I believe I actually shouted “Fuck you” at the TV. But that’s neither here nor there.

Bear with me on my other thought – I adore this blog, but had an involuntary eyeroll at the “sacred and spiritual” introduction. I hope that doesn’t come off as horribly judgmental, but I think it’s because of my reaction to the film, in which I felt like the focus became entirely on the mother having a zen-like experience – to me, it was a bit of taking the eye off the ball that this is really about the health of mother and baby and not so much about whether or not one’s spiritual needs are being met by the birth experience. Not saying that’s what you did, it’s just what the phrase triggered for me.

That said – thrilled for you that you were able to pursue a plan of minimized intervention that worked for you and Marlo, and I wholeheartedly agree that expectant mothers should be fully informed and involved in decisions relating to their pregnancy and birth experience. To the extent that the natural birth movement and films like BOBB (and this blog!) foster that, I’m all for it. Not that anyone cares, but what is the internet if not for anonymous opining?

forkboy1965

That’s nothin’….I once ate two Whoppers meals and didn’t burp once!

Talon

I’m one of those women who started out wanting a natural birth with no drugs, but because my first child was so ornery and obstinate…(the little brat kept starting false labor so I couldn’t sleep) and then was in REAL labor for 36 hours with him I was so exhausted that I gave in.

Turns out that I labor FOREVER but I am a World Class, International Champion Pusher Out of Newborns from my Birth Canal.

My first pushing went like this:

Talon and Annoying nurse: *pushes for about fifteen minutes*

Doctors, residents and neonatologists file in, due to some meconium in my fluid (With all those specialists there, not one cottoned onto him having a lethal birth defect. So listen up ladies and gents…even if you have a hospital birth and everything goes right, it can still go wrong.)

Annoying Nurse: Okay, let’s have one more push and we’ll let the doctors get ready.

Talon: *thinking* I’ve had enough of this pushing all the fuck ready. *pushes baby’s head out all in one go.

Doctors, residents, neonatologists run around the room shouting, (and I shit you not, I will NEVER forget this) “Gloves!! Gloves!! Get me some gloves!!”

Talon: *wonders if she should reach down maybe and finish the job herself.

Resident. *Manages to get one glove on and delivers bouncing baby boy one handed*

(Sadly, my boy died four days later, but those four days even the labor and delivery with him were the most wonderful of my life.)

Second Labor and Delivery:

Talon with Doula in tow: Hi, I’m in labor, I need you to call Dr. Mine.

Nurse at Nurses station: I’m afraid you’ll have to take the doctor from that practice who is on call.

Talon: Maybe you didn’t hear me. I’m in labor, and I have a prior arrangement with Dr. Mine (not his real name) So long as I didn’t go into labor on the 19th, he will be the one to deliver my baby.

Nurse: You’ll have to wait in Triage and see a doctor you’ve never seen before.

Talon: Oh you think so?

Talon: *gets in Triage room, doula hands Talon the phone and her wallet and Talon calls the office…right across the street, where everyone knows my neurosis after Rhys had died* Hi, this is Talon, and Dr. Mine said he’d deliver me, and I’m getting the blow off from the staff. What can you do?

Receptionist Who Knows All: Let me get one of his nurses, hold on Talon.

Talon: *holds*

Nurse: Hey, Talon, Dr. Mine is in surgery today, but I’ll get a message to him, and he’ll come up between procedures.

Talon: Great, thanks.

Snarky Nurse Comes into Triage: *looks at moniter tape* Oh…I guess you ARE in labor!!

Talon: No shit, you think I’m here for funsies? Get me a room damnit.

Talon: *gets settled in room with doula, sends husband and doula’s daughter home for rest knowing the labor will take forever*

Nurse with ER Doc in Tow: Talon, this is Dr. Moron, and he’s going to break your water.

Talon: No, he’s not.

Dr to Nurse: What?

Nurse: What?

Talon: I’m not even two centimeters dilated. Go away. Do not touch me with that fucking crochet hook.

Dr. Moron and Snarky Nurse: *not quite sure what to do*

Dr. Moron: Are you saying…

Talon: I am saying you are not going to break my water. How hard is that to understand?

Dr and Nurse: Um…

Talon: OUT.

They leave.

Talon labors. Walks. Showers. And when Dr. Mine shows up gets a lecture.

Dr. Mine: *still in surgical scrubs* What do you think you’re doing?

Talon: *panting* It’s not the 19th. And tell them to let me eat something, it’s going to be a long haul.

Stupid Nurse: She can’t…

Dr. Mine: Get her some lunch. She’s going to be here awhile.

12 or so hours later, about two hours after my epidural and shortly after husband had left to get food.

Talon: *suddenly* Go get the doctor and the husband.

Nurse: Wha?

Talon: Look lady, once I start pushing, it’s not gonna be long, and I WANT TO PUSH.

Dr. and Husband magically appear.

Talon: *pushes four or five times, head is out, cord around the baby’s neck* I told you NOT to put that thing around your neck!! You’re GROUNDED MISSY!!

Dr. Mine: Hang on…*unloops cord that reaches from Michigan to South Texas and is wrapped twice around baby’s neck.

Talon: *pushes the rest of baby out. Total pushing time, less than five minutes.*

Ripley: *is placed on Talon, and promptly proceeds to have her first bowel movement.

Talon: Okay, that tears it, this one’s mine.

This one has a happy ending. Though Ripley did have a very minor heart defect, it self corrected by the time she was four, and was only discovered because of her brother’s undetected, fatal defect.

Now that I’ve vomited all over your comments page, I seriously can’t wait to hear the rest of your birth story, cause I NEVER went hardcore, no drugs, nothing. And if I have another baby, because of my medical condition I will have to have a C-section.

I can’t wait, seriously. I LOVE hearing and reading about women giving birth, regardless of how they do it, but I have a special place in my brain for those who go au natural.

BTW: Careful with those pics of Marlo. It’s been six years since I last breastfed (Yes, I’m one of those…I breastfed my kid until she was three and a half, and if I hadn’t gotten sick, she’d probably still be at it at nine, I swear) and she makes me lactate.

Talon

http://kitkat4real.blogspot.com Katherine SOLO dot MOM

Wow this is amazing! You do have every right to be proud. What a feat!

I am not planning on having any more children… but if I do … I want to read that book!!

Amy

I sincerely believe if they could capture and bottle the amazing cocktail of hormones you get after a natural birth, it would be illegal. THE HIGH IS THAT FUCKING AMAZING.

Joy

I started reading DOOCE in the fall of 2002, I was at the same time reading Birthing From Within and planning for the natural birth of my daughter that December. Every pregnant woman I met for the next couple of years was at risk of a long and passionate diatribe about the many many things I felt (and still feel, although with a bit more control) are wrong with the “modern birth” in America. Anyway, interesting symmetry…

In other interesting symmetry I found your blog during one of many google searches of the “recovering mormon” variety. (having only left the church a year earlier)

peace (you know you are a hippy now, might as well embrace the patchouli while you are at it…)

http://harpyr.blogspot.com harpyr

I really was dreading reading your birth story because I was certain it was going to be another story of a heavily medicated birth by choice. I couldn’t have been more thrilled to be wrong. I had a huge cheek cracking grin on my face the entire time I was reading it.

I had three water births with midwives and can’t imagine doing it any other way. Towards the end of my last labor I actually tried getting out of the tub to see what land birthing was like and it was waaaaay more painful so back in the water I went!

I do wish you went a little easier on the hippies though. History has consistently been showing them to be right about so many things.. natural birth being incredible, organic food being yummier, our environment needs protecting….
I’ll overlook your bias though because I love your blog. Thank you for sharing!

http://www.behaviorbuddies.com kim

For me it’s all about the woman having the power to make her own choice about how her birth should go, and not turn all the decisions over to the doctor’s and labor nurses.

I started out like you with my first–really wanting a delivery without drugs–but it just so happened that the baby was transverse (big bummer for a natural childbirth) so I ended up having a c-section. My doula was worried that I would feel like a failure, but I was actually SO thankful for modern medicine because 100 years ago I would have been one of those women who died in childbirth (and the baby as well). Because I was involved in the decisions I had no regrets, even tho I ended up with the c-section I was adamantly opposed to in the months before my baby’s birth. In the end I had a healthy baby and I never felt like I was at the mercy of the medical establishment.

http://www.benjaminpenguin.wordpress.com Stephanie

I changed, too, but in the opposite direction – and probably as vehemently. I planned for an au naturale birth and, when I could not get my son out after hours of pushing and required a c-section because he was just lodged in place like a cork in a bottle, I became terrified at the thought that I may have tried that alone, sans hospitals and doctors. In another lifetime, he, or I, or both could have died. And in that instant I knew I could never be a non-intervention Mama again.

I am happy that you had an experience that felt personally empowering to you. Oddly,I feel empowered now as well. People don’t generally expect to hear that from c-section Mamas, but there you go.

Sox

I admire anyone who goes through childbirth — drugs or not, home or not, midwife or doctor. I have been there twice. To me, it shouldn’t matter to anyone else how you do it, as long as it happens in a way that YOU are comfortable with.

So dooce, I admire you for giving birth to a child, regardless of how she came into this world.

Holly

Oh wow didn’t see this one coming. Can’t wait for the rest of the story. I’ve had all my children natural (the last two at home..including a 10lb 4oz baby while standing in my bathroom). Now if we could get you to open your mind up about vaccinations. Baby steps I guess.

Katrina

Heather, Congratulations on a positive birth experience! I am SO looking forward to part II!! Bravo, mama!!

Teresa

I think everyone has the right to do what they feel is best for them. That being said, home births scare me to death. When I was born I was a blue baby, dead for three minutes. I apparently swallowed part of the afterbirth on the way out. My mom said those three minutes were the longest three minutes of her life. Had it not been for the fact that we were at a hospital and they had a full team to work on me, I would not be writing this comment today. I am thankful for hospitals, doctors, nurses, machines and medicine.

RichardK

You are a wonderful writer. I don’t get too excited with the dog pictures and the artsy craftsy stuff, but it’s a nanoscopic price to pay for having the pleasure of reading your posts. Please, whatever you do, don’t stop writing. BTW, what’s the trackback to the post on duck farts?

http://www.joybristol.blogspot.com JOY

This is the best post EVER. I am so thrilled that you have had this life changing experience, and then to have what sounds like a life changing birth. I also changed from OB to Midwife halfway through my pregnancy after watching The Business of Being Born. I hired a doula, and planned to have my baby in our apartment.
AND I got the best doula in the world, Ana Paula Markel. She is actually in the movie. I later got to meet Ricki Lake and Abbey Epstein here in LA when Ana invited us to be part of filming for the follow up DVD to B of BB. I was having contractions during the filming!
I labored for NINE DAYS, and then labor stalled, had meconium in the fluid, and ended up going to hospital. The birth was still beautiful, but not the spiritual experience I hoped for. My midwife and doula came along, and that was so important!
You are so lovely for sharing this and being open to that experience. I am so happy for you!

Kim

Heather,
I am begging you to be careful with this subject. You reach so many women and there is as much misinformation regarding homebirth on the internet as there is good information. Women need to educate themselves regarding midwives. It is a profession that is regulated state by state and many states are extremely lax in their requirements. My dear niece lost her second child at home due to the inexperience of a Direct-Entry Midwife. This women recieved her diploma and certification through a corresponsdence course! A CORRESPONDENCE course! Of course this was something we didn’t know at the time. If any women is going to attempt a natural birth I beg them to do it in a birthing center with a Certified Nurse Midwife.
I wasn’t too popular at Rikki Lake’s movie, I had made t-shirts for the females in my family that read , ” Home Delivery is for Pizza!” I congratulate on the birth of your beautiful daughter but be aware you’re sounding a little high and mighty. I have three wonderful, happy, (and employed!) adult children all delivered by c-section. Don’t lose sight of the end result, a healthy baby. It becomes so dangerous when the birth itself becomes more important then the baby.

http://www.mydearwatson.typepad.com Watson

Awesome, Heather!

I didn’t think I could love you any more, and then you wrote this post.

I planned on a intervention-free birth for a long time, reading everything I could find (esp. the Ina May Gaskin books), taking a Hypnobirthing class and also hiring a doula.

But then my OBGYN was all, HELLO! You’re having twins and that’s a whole OTHER deal.

And then I ended up getting sick in my 38th week and a scheduled c-section was penciled in to my Kate Spade organizer.

I went from home birth candlelit tub birth to a planned section, but in the end both of my babies were born healthy and that’s what mattered.

I can’t wait to read the rest of your story!!

Dawn

I had both of my daughters with midwives, the first at the hospital (because I was chicken, having never given borth before) and the second at the freestanding birth center about a mile from the hospital. For me, the birth center was a nice compromise between the hospital birth and the home birth. I liked that it was close to the hospital, just in case, but really liked that I got to come home 8 hours after my daughter was born (during that wave of euphoria where you think you can do anything).

I am lucky – my mom taught childbirth classes for years and worked at the birth center (she was so excited when “The Business of Being Born” was released, because I think she knows some of the people interviewed or something). But what luck for you that you happened to receive the book at the right time.

I’m happy to hear that you had a wonderful birth experience and I’m even happier that you are sharing it with the internets. Who knows, maybe you’ll influence someone else to see what they can do.

Best wishes.

Claudia

please hurry up I can’t wait to hear the rest!

Roryx

I do the same angry thing with books and movies. I will get so worked up about a book and I just can’t give it up! I read Twilight because I had nothing else to read at the time and I HATED IT. I then of course read the rest of the series so I could hate it and critize more thouroughly.

Kathleen

Oh you CRACK ME UP!!!!!! I love reading your posts because it brightens my entire day. I just got back from my bachelorette party, so I am a little drunk and you have me rolling on the floor. Can’t wait for part two!!

Chrisitne

Already boo-hooing — memories of my own daughter’s drug-free birth. So glad you are sharing your story with so many. Feed that little woman and finish writin’!

Gabby

OMG OMG OMG THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY.

I’m only a lowly 17 year old but I would desperately love to be a homebirth midwife one day, so obviously I’m a massive advocate of natural birth. When I read you were pregnant this time around, I was actually convinced that exactly this would happen to you. I’m just so glad you took the initiative to educate yourself and had the birth you wanted

And yeah, those statistics are terrifying. C-section rates up to 80% in some states, where the maximum safe rate is 15%? Ow.

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