I have a wonderful, passionate husband, but my life before him was depressing. I've always been very awkward around guys, so I really never had a steady relationship prior to my hubby. My first boyfriend got my best friend pregnant. In high school, I was a major geek that everyone picked on and I was beaten up a lot. In college, I thought things would be different, but nope. So, most of the guys I dated ended up ditching me for something prettier, better, etc...

The hardest heartbreak that I had came two guys before my husband. I really liked this guy (B). He was smart, funny, and so handsome. I felt lucky. Then we officially went out on our first date. He kept pressuring me into sex even though I kept saying no. Long, horrible, painful story that I wish I could forget, my virtue that I was saving for someone I truly loved was taken away from me and no one believed me except my family and my now husband.

Moral: Always stick to what you know is right, even if you stand alone!

skylarblue: what a horribly tragic story. I'm glad you and your son are ok. There is someone out there for you. I don't believe there is just one person for each of us. I think love is infinite. I've been in love more than once. Real honest to goodness love. Even though he is no longer in my life and I'm now married to someone who I love to the depth of my soul, I will never ever stop loving Scott.

Here's my extremely long heartbreak story:I met Scott at a party Feb 1992. Scott comes in and dominates the party. Actually, the party began when he stepped into the room. I was 21 and extremely melodramatic. (A 21 yo melodramatic? I know!) Someone put on a Firehouse song, and I began to weep. (I could stab myself in the eye now). I fled from the apartment, and my 2 guy friends went after me. Being the melodramatic one, I wanted the cute guy to come after me. He did. We stood outside talking for about an hour. He drove me back to my truck. He then said something corny about asking me out.

Over the next few days, he sent a few of his buddies and work friends to where I work. They would all say something very nice about Scott. Everyday I was *harrassed*. Friday afternoon, Scott himself walks in and asks me out for that night. I know we're told to say no when someone asks us out for that same night, but I couldn't resist him. We went out, and I had the greatest time. We went out again the next night. We were together at least 3 or 4 nights a week. We started dating seriously the next week. He made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, and that no other girl was ever around. He was also my best friend. I'd never had a boyfriend like him before. He was so alive.

When Scott and I had been dating a couple of weeks, I met his daughter, Ashlee. She was 6 months old. Scott was 19 and a senior in HS. He and K had been dating for a month when she became pregnant. They broke up when Ashlee was 1 month old. Ashlee & I clicked from the moment we met. She was the fattest little baby I'd ever seen.

May 22, 1992 Scott asked me to marry him. He took me to see Beauty and the Beast. He said I was forever his Belle. He then proposed. We both cried. We told his parents, and they cried with us. I had never been so happy in all my life. This was the family I'd always wanted. I was referred to as Ashlee's step-mom. I took care of her on Scott's weekends. Life was wonderful. (Can I also mention I was a size 2?).

That summer I took a graveyard shift at work. That one thing led to everything going wrong. Scott started hanging out with *new* friends while I worked. When I would go to his house in the mornings after work, he'd barely just beat me there. He would be in a foul mood sometimes. We tried to make it work... or at least I did.

That August I was uptown on my night off, and I saw him pull up with 2 girls. He left with them. I was physically ill. I waited for him all night. I was at his house before he was. We broke up. I threw up. I felt like my life was shattered. He begged me to take him back a week later. I did. Then I got into a fight with the girl he cheated on me with. I broke up with him. 3 weeks later, while I was out a former bf, Scott sees me and asks me back. I get back with him again. The next day I realized I couldn't trust him. I would always worry about what he was doing - who he was doing. I ended it. We played late night rendevous until Christmas. He began dating the girl he cheated on me with. A year later he breaks up with her. (By the way... K (ashlee's mom) and I became friends after Scott & I broke up for good. I was at her 1, 2, 3, and 4th birthdays). Ashlee was 3 when her parents reconciled.

Sept. 96: I meet KNE the same weekend Scott & K get married. I had no idea they were getting married. I kinda assumed they'd already done it. July 97: I saw Scott while I was visiting his parents. He didn't look so hot. He told me I was beautiful. 2 years later, Scott & K have baby boy, Dylan. Less than a year later, Scott & K divorce because he's always either drunk or high. Plus, he cheated constantly.

Nov. 2000: Scott commits suicide. His family calls me. I still cry. The first person I called was my husband. He is supportive while I wail and scream. He knew I loved Scott. I learned after KNE & I had been together for a while that he knew Scott. Scott's sister is married to KNE's best friend's older brother. Their paths crossed once or twice.

I met K again in 2001. She was same ol' K. I babysat the kids when K had class. She told me that Scott had always loved me. The kids didn't seem to miss their dad or really know much about him. It was funny that I was angry at K for the longest time for getting back with him. We'd made a pact. She told me in 2001 that she may have won Scott, but I'm the one who won KNE. As it turned out, she'd won nothing.

I saw her again last summer, she's recently remarried. Ashlee's a senior in HS now.

ETA: Menner: I'm so so so sorry. I'm glad that you had your family to believe in you.

so much heartache in the gutter right now, but i know that personally i wouldn't trade mine in for anything. it has helped me become who I am now, regardless of pulling a Britney and cutting my hair or spending years in therapy.

thanks to everyone who has shared their heartbreak with the rest of us. it has helped put things into perspective for me, as i'm sure it has for others.

Goodnight Elizabeth: Wow our stories are almost the same. You provided alot more details then I but some of what you listed, I've been through and have done myself. I know that deep down, even when I find my Mr. Right (Edward/Jacob - love them both), I will still be thinking of him.

Thank you for your post, I shows me that I am not alone out there trying to find the "right one" and the one who I think is right may be just Mr Right Now.

God, what we do for love.

Let me throw this out to everyone:Why as women we put ourselves out there for one guy and deep down we know he's nothing but trouble and will bring nothing but heartache but we constantly go back?

i think that there's so much pressure on women to find a partner that we are more willing to put up with crap.

i have noticed over the years too if i wasn't feeling good about myself i ended up going out briefly with jerks just because i didn't care. then you feel like crap when you realize you've been dating a jerk, and the cycle continues.

sigh. those of you with your Edwards/Jacobs already, hold onto them tightly.

skylarblue wrote:Why as women we put ourselves out there for one guy and deep down we know he's nothing but trouble and will bring nothing but heartache but we constantly go back?

My first answer is because we think we can change them, save them, be their saviors in a dark world. My second answer is because we don't think we're worth more, at least at that moment in time. If we can save them, we prove our worth. To him, to ourselves, to the world. Can you say co-dependant? Yeah, that was me.

Related to this subject, I'm happy to report that FS asked a girl to homecoming. He asked the girl that's fun to spend time with (a little Bela-ish in her coloring and appearnce,) not the blonde arm candy. Woohoo!