The Gettysburg Address, President Abraham Lincoln’s epic 272-word speech, was delivered in less than three minutes. Why then is everyone so consumed by how brief Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch takes to offer his pearls of wisdom to the media?

Lynch on Wednesday did not make it to seven minutes, sitting for about 6 ¹/₂ fairly ridiculous and inconsequential minutes before he was whisked away by New Jersey State Police and escorted from the crammed, makeshift interview area set up on the third floor of the Westin Hotel in Jersey City, the home of the Seahawks for the week leading up to Super Bowl XLVIII.

“I really don’t have too much to say, boss, I really don’t,’’ said Lynch, which is not the way the Gettysburg Address began. “I appreciate it, but I don’t get it. I’m just here so I won’t get fined, boss. That’s the only reason I’m here.”

Late in the season, Lynch was fined $50,000 by the NFL for his season-long avoidance of the media — with the league stipulating the fine would go away if Lynch cooperated this week. On Tuesday, Lynch staged a comical stare down with members of the media waiting for him to speak at Media Day at the Prudential Center in Newark. Lynch lasted 6 ¹/₂ minutes before leaving, but he did return for an interview/lovefest with Deion Sanders of the NFL Network.

Interview sessions Wednesday and Thursday are scheduled for 45 minutes, but Lynch was gone before the seven-minute mark. Once again, despite the short stay, Lynch supposedly fulfilled his media obligation and will not be fined.

“Players are required to participate and he participated,” NFL spokesman Greg Aiello told the Associated Press. “His comments of the past two days have been widely circulated.”

Lynch’s “comments’’ came Wednesday as he looked as if he were being tortured while he sat and sort of answered questions from a horde of reporters and photographers squeezed into a narrow hallway.

The “highlights” from the Marshawn Address:

What “Beast Mode” means to him: “It’s just a lifestyle, boss.”

On where he ate dinner Tuesday night, and with whom? “[Fullback] Michael Robinson: We ate some soul food in Harlem, some chicken and waffles, man.”

On the running game struggling late in the season: “It doesn’t matter. We’re here now.”

With that, Robinson, seated next to Lynch, said, “I’m going to slide up in this thing to break up the monotony a little bit. If Marshawn ain’t able to say nothing to you guys, you can direct your questions to me.”

Robinson then answered questions about Lynch even though Lynch was still sitting next to him.

Lynch did summon the willpower to take a few more questions:

On being a star on the field but a private person off it: “The [Seahawks fans] don’t have a problem with it. The people I play for on Sunday don’t have a problem with it. The media has a problem with it. It’s a problem if they choose to take something away from me for not doing it.”

On the premise that he doesn’t talk to the media because he was once misquoted: “False.’’

And then, Lynch stood up, high-stepped over a few chairs, made his way through the crowded room and disappeared to an area of the hotel restricted to team personnel.

“He doesn’t like talking to the media — that’s not what he’s about,” Seahawks receiver Doug Baldwin said. “I think it’s ridiculous that the NFL forces him to do that. They threaten fines and they threaten suspension that if he didn’t talk, they were going to come down with hard punishment. You get fined for talking too much and then you get fined for not talking at all.”