Between my shadow and my soul

23 years ago now my mum was in excruciating pain. Around sehri time just after having chicken licken. I never really liked chicken licken. I dedicate Surah Noor and "Freed from desire" by Gala to this event.

On another note, I don't think you learn how to write poetry. It just happens somehow. I remember in grade 8 writing prolific verse dring exam papers. I'd finished all the questions and my brain was still buzzing. The most memorable ones were on being a kamikaze pilot and the immorality of the court of social gossip. Sweet hey:P

There's something about poetry though. It's doesn't take intelligence to read or write, yet what throws most people off is the unconventional structure. Strings of words with no frame, creating gaps and crevices. Which at first might be disconcerting, but becomes opportunistic fun. The writer ducks and dives around the corners making the reader dizzy and the more the reader tries to pin her down, the more she becomes manic. The reader then realises such a game is nonsensical and pompously decided to declare himself monarch and sovereign of these words and commands them according to his whims. The rest is hisstory as he revels in creating his own images out of words delicately positioned to entice his curiosity. Ok let's stop this and keep it kosher in case my kids do discover thenooj.

My 22nd year had it's curves and dips, notably the stressful scary academic realities and insecurities I faced and the realisation of the fragility of your loved ones' health. It had its Icarus moments too and I am ashamed to say that I still feel I owe God a lot of suffering for all the happiness He has given me. Luckily He is not an accountant:P And what I have realised is that when life gives you aloe vera (I quite like lemons), you need to dawdle on the lasagne. Which is why I guard my happy poems to take out when I taste copper. I must admit though that my creativity lurches around morbidity. Anyway, I'm publishing excerpts of 2 of my happy poems for people to read, but it works much better if they are your own.

The Year of the Cactus

His fervent irridescence shook meHow do you embrace this early?It is time, he replies, but have a momentTo lash your eyesPay tribute to my vital descentYou must this mortality comprehend

Gently I ignore his fragrant energyAnd travel beyond my sensualityTo aching muscles bearing will and hopeTo laughter measured not in days but yearsAnd sorrow measured by torrents of cleansing tearsTo networks of beats that buoyed my existenceTo gawps and gasps that make my other wince

To my irrational intuition begging me to stay a whileTo the hardships that ended in wrinkling smilesTo Noorjehaan whose shine doth growAgain and again throughout this showTo fears that now alight my glowTo the double pair within my soulWithout you I would never have known

Of course to He who has sent himAs a bleeping for the end of SpringIn whose Guidance I was always certainBut doubted my own determinationTo the drops I shelter deep withinTo the outside where I’ll never winBut I ran and I fell and I got up dancing

Thus I mystify my perpetual memoriesI did not learn but felt wisdom in my burnsAnd that has made all the difference...

This one sounds narcissistic

Oh the beautiful story of noojHas so many twists and turnsThings granted in beauty and loveOpportunities embraced and scornedThe way this dunya rollsHas many confunded mysteriesBut my parable amazes ceaselesslyThrough Noor and strifeConfusion and kites

I agree with saal, put up more poetry! In general as well, you write really well.

Yesterday my lecturer was marking creative writing exams where they had to give in poems, he was having a problem with one and asked me what i thought of a poem he was marking. I didn't really like it.I found it he was considering it because he wasn't sure whether to fail it. I was a bit outraged and intrigued. can you fail a poem? I read it again (geez this thing is becoming a post on its own) and maybe, i think you can. But I didn't tell him that. I told him although her poem was vague sections of common poems a few words could tell you she tried and I mean..she tried. But i couldn't answer his question. i don' know. failing creative writing is ... somwhat illegal in my mind, but I guess every subject has to have a place to stop and fail.

thanks and welcome saaleha and s. my poetry tends to be scary tho i had to look really hard to find those 2 happy ones

dew- thanks:) yeah i would find it weird to write poetry for an exam because usually i don't CHOOSE to write, it's just when the debris biulds up. but if you're in that field you should be able to meet a certain standard of talent and ability i guess. perhaps the subjectitvity of the endeavour makes it magical...