Spirits of the Age

A BURGLAR was arrested in Cheltenham after he left the receipt for a screwdriver in one of the houses that he raided. - The Daily Telegraph

WHEN a one-armed man was interviewed after an accident in Barnsley, police discovered that he had been driving for 16 years - steering with his knees when he needed to change gear. He had crashed while on his way to an arcade to play the one-armed bandits. - Daily Express

A SCHOOL cook has been awarded more than £150,000 damages from Birmingham City Council after complaining that her health was ruined by using flour. - Daily Mail

AN AMERICAN tourist dining in a restaurant in Co Cork paid £540 for all of the 40 live lobsters in a tank waiting to be cooked and released them into the sea. - The Daily Telegraph

THE clock chimes of a church at Blairgowrie, Tayside, have been silenced at night after complaints by an English family which moved next to the church while the bells were being repaired. - The Times

A BOY of 11 armed with a steak knife held up a bank in Florida, saying he wanted to eat at McDonald's. The bank gave him money, but he was captured before reaching the restaurant. - The Independent