Most of our beliefs are unconscious. That means we don’t have as much control as we may think we do.

The fear of being abandoned overwhelmed me when my mom picked me up late from school. As a 5 year-old, I couldn’t make sense of it all.

So my mind helped me interpret the situation the best it could: This happened because I’m not good enough. Ironically, our mind wants to protect us and help us cope with tough situations.

This unconscious reaction stems from our body’s survival mechanism. Even emotionally stressful situations can trigger it. It’s just how our brain and nervous system order the billions of bits of information we encounter each minute.

Psychologist Dr. Chris Walton writes in The Gamma Mindset that we “screen our experiences according to our beliefs, focusing on what our beliefs tell us is important and ignoring or glossing over the rest”.

Most of our beliefs come from:

family

media

social/economic class

geographical location

culture

religion

history

science

school

friends/colleagues/peers

political system

Beliefs, prejudices and assumptions pepper our lives. For example, I can’t make money doing what I love or My relationships never work out. It’s easy to imagine how these beliefs would shape us.

Fortunately, we can learn how to identify limiting beliefs and plant new ones. Doing so frees us, so that we may experience more peace, love and abundance.

How to identify limiting beliefs

I began by searching examples of limiting beliefs online.

Several beliefs glared at me on the screen. And I discovered many more, just by listening to my intuition as I read them.

What thoughts, emotions or sensations arise after you read each of these 10 common beliefs?

As uncomfortable as they may seem, your reactions show what parts of you need care.

I’m not good enough.

Mistakes and failures are bad.

I don’t deserve a better life.

There’s not enough time or money.

Something bad always happens.

It’s unspiritual to have lots of money.

I can’t succeed.

People won’t like who I truly am.

My opinion isn’t important.

I’ll never be happy.

Another way to identify your limiting beliefs is to observe recurring patterns.

As an adult, I couldn’t understand why my friends were often late to hangouts. I didn’t dare speak up, fearing rejection. But it deeply hurt me.

This pattern often repeated itself, leaving me in despair.

So I turned inwards and breathed into my pain. I asked the universe, What are you trying to teach me? No answer.

Meanwhile, my ego blurted, This is so unfair! How can people be so disrespectful?

Many spiritual teachers encourage us to not bother with such thoughts. But my ego pushed and pulled at me, wailing for my care.

Little by little, our loving awareness takes the power out of old habits and beliefs. Then we can begin to enjoy the sweetness of freedom—the ability to choose a different reaction and make wiser choices.

Some psychologists recommend rationalizing limiting beliefs and acting on new ones to prove their validity. This method only worked for a little while before my ego returned stronger than before!

Instead, practicing mindfulness meditation throughout my entire day was key. The more I embraced my pain around a limiting belief, the more everything fell into place. I didn’t need to do much more than that to improve my life.

Why?

Because we’re already love, peace and abundance. We just couldn’t experience it because our past wounds blocked them.

Fortunately, energy work can accelerate the process. I use EFT during my coaching calls, though you can try aromatherapy, Reiki, crystals, qi gong, hypnosis, etc.