Dependence Principle

Principle

If you are dependent on me, I can use this as a lever to persuade you.

How it works

When people work together, each is more or less dependent on the other. This
is the classic division of labor and the basis of our tribal and capitalist
systems, with each person investing in one skill which is then shared for the
common good.

A common pattern found in persuasive situations is an imbalanced dependence,
where person A is more dependent on person B than vice versa. Person B can use
this imbalance as a lever to persuade person A. Person B's power may even be
expressed as the difference between A's and B's dependence.

This imbalance can lead to many forms of coercion, such as blackmail. It can
also lead to forms of worship (such as pop fans fawning on their idols) and
desperate attempts of the more dependent person to persuade the more powerful
one. This imbalance can also lead to anger, betrayal and revenge, as the
dependent person seeks to redress the balance.

Desired dependence

We start life as dependents, initially as helpless babies and later as
children, learning so we can free ourselves from our mother's apron strings. But
that early and comfortable existence continues to call us and many of us spend
our lives trying to recreate those infant feelings of dependent safety.

A symptom of this is the way that groups of people will almost always end up
with one leader and many happily-dependent followers.

Power

Dependence is created when one person has more power than another. In
particular control of knowledge and access to rare resources can lead to a queue
of people lined up outside your door.

Uncertainty

When we are confused or uncertain, we look to others for examples of what to
do and for help.

Duration

Dependence can last a long time, such as where a childe is dependent on its
parents. It can also be short-term, such as when you need someone to move so you
can get past.

Degree

Dependence can also be absolute or temporary. Absolute dependence is where
there is no alternative and the dependent person is fully dependent on the more
powerful person, such as with a child and parent.

Most situations are not absolute and alternative arrangements can be found,
although these may be more costly in money, time or other factors. For example
if you will not move to let me past I can go another way, although this takes
time and also has implications in terms of social position.

Reversal

In a reversal of this principle, the dependent person can influence the
person with power. If they can invoke the principle of
rights and duties,
they can position themselves as having the right to something and that the
powerful person has the duty to supply this. This can be successful if the
dependent person emphasizes their
vulnerability and the
social value that requires that
the strong must take care of the vulnerable.

So what?

Build your knowledge and skills. Acquire control and other forms off power.
This can also be used to free yourself from hazardous dependencies.