Battle of the Titans: Gawker vs. Onion Softball

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There was apparently some important play going on here, but an intern brought Corona and we stopped watching.

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Gawkville nine that day, but we couldn't care less. Last night, the satirical writers behind The Onion (who, much to our pleasure, were far more pasty than we expected) dared to drag your beloved Gawker Media to the field, where we squared off in a post-rainstorm battle of balls. The Onion brought the bat, but make no mistake: Team Gawker brought the A-game, rounding out four innings with a healthy lead, 13-9. As the sun dipped below the horizon and things grew increasingly dark, it was time to call it a game — until, that is, the Onion whined their way into an extra twilight inning. Knowing damn well it was too dark for our LCD-trained eyes, we let them score an extra few runs so as to end the game on a tie. We couldn't help it — those Onion imps were just so pitiable. If we'd spanked 'em straight up, they may very well have offed themselves at the end of the night.

After the jump, Gawker pornographer Nikola Tamindzic and intern Scott Kidder document the least special Special Olympics event ever.

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Our team t-shirts don't lie. Or so we'd like to think, so don't ruin it for us.