Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

(I used to work for an Internet broadband company, and in addition to technical questions, I would also have to be able to resolve billing issues. The customer who calls this time, however, has an interesting take on things:)

Me: “Let’s take a look at your account. Just give me one moment to call—”

Caller: MY INTERNET’S BUSTED!

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am; it will take just one moment. Ah, here we go. It seems that this account has not been paid on for three months, so we have suspended yo—”

Caller: “WHY’S MY INTERNET SHUT OFF?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can understand your frustration, but due to non-payment, we’ve suspended your account. However, if you would like to make a credit card payment over the phone, I can go ahead an—”

Caller: “I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT CARD! WHY IS MY INTERNET NOT WORKING?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t turn you back on until a portion of the balance is paid off. if you are able to make a partial payment o—”

(I’m one of the managers at a video game store where we also buy other electronics, including TVs. We typically don’t pay a lot for LCD TVs because people bring them in all the time, and we have TONS in overstock due to this. I had just gotten a customer’s total figured out for their LCD TV…)

Me: “All right, you’re looking at [total] for your TV.”

Customer: “WHAT? I paid $150 for this TV. Why am I only gettin’ that much?”

Me: “Honestly, bud, people bring in LCD and LED TVs here so often that we have a lot of TVs that have just been collecting dust in our warehouse for months. Because of that, we haven’t been able to pay as much for TVs as we used to.”

Customer: “Well, my buddy’s got a plasma at home that he’s thinking about sellin’. How much you guys pay for that?”

Me: “Plasmas are a completely different story. We don’t see many of those, and they still have a lot of value on the market, so we’re able to pay way more for those.”

Customer: “Yeah, that makes sense, since you gotta refill ’em every year.”

Me: “Refill… What?”

Customer: “Yeah, my buddy was sayin’ that he had to have someone come out and refill the plasma in his TV a couple weeks ago. He said you gotta do that like once a year or they go bad.”

(I was so dumbstruck at this point that I couldn’t even begin to explain to him how wrong he was. He seriously believed this is how plasmas worked, too.)

(I am working as a photographer’s assistant at a large corporate Christmas party. We are taking pictures in front of a green screen backdrop and then printing them out and giving them to guests for free, as the company is paying us. The printer is slow, so I generally send several pictures in a batch and then put them in clear envelopes and hand them to the waiting guests. Therefore, the picture on my screen is the last one coming out of the printer. Most of the guests are waiting patiently in a line, as their pictures are coming out in the same order that they were taken. One lady bypasses the entire line and comes around my table to look over my shoulder, where it’s fairly obvious she’s not allowed. Her picture happens to be on-screen.)

Lady: “Oh, look at how it looks like I’m in a pretty snow globe. What a neat trick!”

(The next picture comes out of the printer. I pick it up, put it in an envelope, and am about to hand it to the next guest in line when the lady SNATCHES it from my hand and starts to walk away.)

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not your picture.”

(The lady ignores me as she looks at the picture. She then turns around huffily.)

Lady:*angry* “This ISN’T MY PICTURE! You gave me the WRONG one!”

Me:*politely* “No, ma’am, your picture is still in the printer. That is the picture of the guest waiting in line. If you’ll wait just a minute, I’ll give you your picture.”

Lady: “Hmph!”

(She stood impatiently as I gave pictures to other guests, finally getting to her picture. She took it and stomped off without thanking me. Sadly, she was only one of about ten greedy people who grabbed pictures that weren’t theirs and then blamed me for it.)

(It’s near the end of my first day on the job and I’m still apprehensive. A customer calls the store and the manager picks up.)

Manager: “Yes, sir, we do have PS2 games, but they’re so old that they’re actually not in our system anymore; they’re just permanently marked down and sitting in the bins. The only way we could find a specific one for you is if we physically searched through each one.”

(Pause.)

Manager: “No, sir. As I said, we do have them but if you want a specific one, you would have to find it yourself in our bins. I’m sorry, but those games are very old and as I said, the specific titles are just not in our system anymore.”

(Another pause, and I actually hear the customer screaming “YOU JUST LOST MY BUSINESS!” over the phone.)

Manager: “Yes, sir, I’m sure I’ll cry myself to sleep about those lost 50 cents. Have a good night!”