I’m done with letting the glass’ half-way mark be set by someone else’s standards. But it’s hard to break away from; the constant comparison, the hunger, the desire for better, even just what we assume to be basics.

I’ve been living for a while in Calvin’s Mother’s Camp: We have it good enough. Good enough just isn’t good enough anymore. The base level for good enough has been dropping faster than a DJ Tiesto Sunrise Album (any of them, ‘cuz they’re all the same name).

It’s time to switch to Calvin’s Camp: We have it good enough for yesterday, time to upgrade life standards. Letting things float along as they are now will only result in future dissatisfaction with myself, and I can see it coming already.

Shame is a terrible motivator. No one should ever be motivated by shame. I can’t say explicitly that I’m motivated by it, but I see it creeping along far far far behind me every once in a while. It comes out especially when I have to explain myself to other people. I find it very difficult to speak positively about myself in a face to face conversation. I start talking about anything or anyone else.

Right now, as a goal for myself: I will get a job that leaves me no desire to relax via video games. And in the meantime: Neverwinter and Guild Wars 2. Heh.