As every all esteemed Bear animals native to state -- Mother Bear animal, Father Bear animal, Offspring Bear animal -- all boast coats of most-deep fur coloring. All Bear animal display much strong vigor, great courage and intellect, performing top-joyous to labor lifetime in dedication to enlightened vision of state.

Upon devastate breakfast porridge did devil American of golden hairs experience extreme sloth such typical of United State youth. Investigating state-provided sleeping mats, did devil child once more declare initial mat feel too solid. Declare second mat too yielding. Upon third mat did lazy, slothful trespass criminal achieve slumber.

Next now, trio mighty proletariat Bear mammals return subsequent diligent laboring in glorious salt mines of state. Mother Bear animal, Father Bear animal with Offspring did repeat enter own domicile. Did discover breakfast meal of stewed porridge, consumed by trespasser. Next then did trio of Bear animal family make discovery of slothful American burglar making slumber upon state-provided sleeping mat.

Same now, golden-hair criminal awake, in manner of selfish, coward American make scream, most-loud, prior to attempt flee. Springing for escape fate, in vain did United State devil thief leap from sleeping mat for attempt evade noble Bear animals. Nevertheless did claws of Mother Bear animal seize trespasser by golden hair, halting escape. Quick, next now did savage jaws of Father Bear animal sink jagged teeths into screaming windpipe of imperialist criminal. Entire domicile filled dying screams, spouting blood of decadent state enemy. Only last did Offspring Bear animal plunge own immature claws within ribcage of golden trespasser, seizing alive, spasming heart muscle for to rip free of chest cavity. No-digested porridge of breakfast meal did pour from eviscerated bowel flesh of captured thief. Within next now, criminal slaughtered and Bear family feasting upon hot, steaming corpse, pausing only moment so enable trio of such noble laboring animals for crane all heads backward upon necks, making vast howl in unison, howling over devastation of defeated American, did Bear family shout:

Every All Glory to be Accomplished in Honoring Philosophy This Single Correct Homeland State

Comments

OH that's such a lovable story! Having grown up in a communist country (Romania to be precise) I can appreciate all the anti-capitalist rhetoric - if only it had been as funny as this. But now I really have to read the book that the story is meant to accompany on the road. Do I sense a tinge of Borat infatuation here? I hope so!
By the way, the story proves that "the harsh realities of capitalism" I was told about as a kid must have been very accurate! Umm - except kids, luckily, tend to believe the opposite of party propaganda... So if I had read it as a kid, I would have hated the bears even more!
To sum up: delicious story!

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