Monday, March 26, 2012

When I wasn't checking Vodka Lemonade's status on Ravelry last week, I was out on the back deck working on a few Fall projects.

And research on new sweaters usually means a few hours with my pile of vintage magazines, looking for the perfect cable or stitch pattern or neckline. I'm always amused at the inexplicable photo setups - with the crazy expressions and the out of place props, but the photo below was particularly weird. Even for a 1960s knitting magazine.

It's from the aptly named "A Collection of Aran Sweaters in Fleischer's Bear Brand Botany Yarns", which sold for a whopping 60 cents in 1965. (Someone may have been paid to come up with that.)

Mom, Dad, and Son all have the same exact sweater on, and Dad wears his with the waist ribbing cuffed upwards. (Did the stylist figure nobody would notice?) He's holding the phone, covering the receiver and yelling at Son. Son is smirking at Dad and sucking on one of those long hay-like grasses you find in a field. Perfectly coiffed Mom gets a chair and drink. Behind them on the wall hang leather straps and stirrups and a kerosene lamp.

I'm in the mood for comments, so if you have a good story for what's going on or a great caption for the photo above, be sure to tell me below. I'm particularly confused by the grass, and the straw seems out of place in that turkish coffee glass. It's all just a bit too oddly combined, right?

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I'll let this go until Wednesday night, and the best one will win a skein of Plucky Rustic in Fly The Concord.
It looks like this:

60
comments:

Hannah G
said...

Dad: Son, it's the doctor. Even though Mother and I have convinced you that it is a vital necessity that all three of us wear matching, intensely cabled, sweaters, it is not enough to ensure that you fit into the societal mainstream. Lose the grass and learn to use a straw, just like Mother.

Oooh. I love interpreting old photographs. Okay so here's how I'm thinking it goes: Dad is on the phone with his mother who is complaining about her grandson's sloppy job cleaning up her yard that she paid him a whole quarter to do and that he broke the window in her shed when he was putting away the lawn tools. So now dad is yelling at son to get back over to grandma's house and earn that money she so generously paid him. Dad is fuming that he has to go over and fix the broken window. And mom..she's just sitting there taking it all in because she'll be free to sit on the porch and knit for the next couple hours in peace and quiet while they're out of the house.

It is set in a stables. Mom and Dad own racehorses and have fallen on hard times; Mom is drinking straight vodka out of that Turkish coffee cup.Son just "twigged" what is going on and is blackmailing Mom and Dad. Dad is refusing to pay and asking son where he thinks his college tuition is going to come form.

Okay, here's my caption:"Dad, if you don't get off the phone with your booky and earn some money for clothing, Mom is going to have to put down her cocktail and knit us another set of matching sweaters...you know how cranky she gets when she misses an episode of Bewitched!"~From Annie (QTKnits on Ravelry)

This is so easy. We are looking at a rich, dysfunctional family that is part of the horsey set in Kentucky. The parents are both alcoholics (Dad: not dressed quite right, surely he is Don Draper drunk....Mom, I am quite sure that there is alcohol in whatever she is drinking, most likely vodka.) The son--let's call him Jerry--has been to the 1965 Newport Folk Festival where he has seen Bob Dylan go electric. He has been in the stables smoking weed and listening to "Like a Rolling Stone" with his best friend--let's call him Dave. Dave's parents ( also alcoholic) having smelled the demon marijuana on Dave, have called Jerry's parents to tell them that their sons are up to no good. We are seeing the moment when the family story implodes. Right now, Jerry is mocking his Dad by twirling that stable grass in his mouth. But when Dad hangs up, all heck breaks loose. The accusations and bitterness of many years let fly. Eventually Jerry rips off his sweater and leaves the house. Several years later the Mom goes to Betty Ford, dries out, divorces the Dad, and moves to Marin County in California. She wears better sweaters, now, and lives a half day away from her son, who became a billionaire in Silicon Valley. The Dad continues to this day to wear his aran pullovers with the waist ribbing all akimbo. It is a sad end for a man who once held great promise, The End.

Dad: It's the Clancy Brothers! Son, you made the Irish folk singing group, so drop that hayseed act and keep up with the hard-drinking Irishman act. And while you're at it, honey, could you ditch the foofy drink and pour me a pint o'Guiness?

Mom: drinking kaluha and coffee (mostly kaluha) with a straw so her perfectly applied red lipstick does not smudge, thinks "I wonder when they will stop thinking it's a good idea for us to wear matching Aran sweaters - we look ridiculous. At least I made Richard look the most ridiculous by making his sweater 3" too long and telling him it was hip to turn up the ribbed hem. I think I put too much coffee in this cup, if I am going to survive these two in the Hamptons"

Ha, no caption needed. They're clearly drunk. You can't really blame them. If we had to dress like our parents we'd probably sip the sweet nectar too. I like mom. She's classy (and a little sassy!), with her straw and all.

Dad is trying to order pizza with no help from his higher-than-a-kite son, who can't stop laughing when he tries to say "no anchovies" or "Hawaiian". He has been out in the stable having a smoke while trying to find a place to ditch the crazy sweater.Mom is on her 3rd cocktail and has no interest in ruining her buzz with food, or getting pizza sauce on her perfect new sweater.

I think dad has just got a call from school saying his son's been doing something he shouldn't, son was playing practical jokes and enjoyed it enough that he doesn't really care what Dad thinks, he's remembering how much good feedback he got from his mates; Mum is having a "not again" moment and burying herself in her glass; she'd normally bury herself in her knitting, but she used all her yarn making the 3 jerseys.

that is the weirdest photo to promote sweaters . the mother looks drunk , the son is chewing straw and the father looks very angry . probably the photo shoot went really wrong and that was the best of a bad lot of photos . at least the sweaters look good :)

The Fam is at the Hunt Breakfast and Junior has been sipping from his father's flask all morning. The Hunt Master is on the horn telling dad (Buffy) that someone has let the hounds loose and all indications point to Junior and his prep school friends. Mom (Sissy) doesn't care as long as they keep those damn hems rolled so that she doesn't have to have the Help hand wash those bloody sweaters that Great Aunt Tilly brought over from her last cruise to Ireland. That, and of course, that the drinks keep coming.

Dad is off the phone long enough to tell Son that he has been invited to a sleepover at his friends. Son is smirking, because he knows that there will be some girls there.Mom is laid back and thinking about the use she is going to get to make of the leather straps once her son is out of the house.

Dad: "Darn-it, Son! Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse! Our loss to the Smothers Brothers, your Mother's colonoscopy in the morning (bowel prep in glass), & now Tin-Man is on the phone wanting to know if you know where in the heck Scarecrow is!!!"

Dad says, "Hey, who farted?" Son, in his thought bubble, admits that it was he. Mom is leaning farther and farther away from her two stinkers enjoying her iced Kalua. I don't know who would knit those sweaters, but let's blame the communists.

Dad is on the phone with his Mom thanking her for making the matching set of sweaters for the family he is looking at his wife who is so glad it is not her having to come up with some lie about how nice it is to match and the son is thinking to himself, " This is worse than that Christmas she made me the Pink Bunny pajamas with the bunny slipper feet.

"dear, mother wants to know if we are ready for the family portrait. She and father are waiting for us in the stable. "

["dear" takes a slow slip of her mint julep and sighs. . .]

"yes, darling, I suppose I have had enough to drink to deal with mother and her family portraits this afternoon. Johnny, how many times have I told you to stop using bristles from the broom to pick your teeth?! Certainly there are better tools to use to care for your oral hygiene."

Dad: Son, that was Mr. Scofield on the phone. Did you have relations with his daughter?Son: (twirling straw in teeth) Why yes, dad, I did.Dad: Well son, it looks like you're about to be a married man. And a father....what were you thinking!?Mom: (thinking to self and sipping on something a little stonger than a mint julep) She better learn to knit. Quick. I'm not making FIVE of these sweaters for next year's family photo!

Dad puts his hand over the phone and whispers to his family, "Damn. We didn't get the parts. They cast some guys named Larry, Moe and Curley.". Sonny thinks there might be a part for him in a movie about a talking horse and Mom no longer cares.

Dad: Yes, Jimmy, I keep my beer nuts in my folded up waistband. Do you think this thing has pockets? So quiet down and wipe that smirk off your face. The Williams are on the phone. It seems mother has broke into their liquor cabinet again.

Mother has been sewing and knitting all the clothes for her family forever. One day she looked in her yarn bin and saw all she had left was some old white yarn. She said "okay that's it - I'm gonna make us each a sweater and that dang yarn will be gone. I'm gonna sell all the sheep and make Father plow under the cotton - no more knitting or sewing for me! " So she made the three sweaters - Dad's was last and she kept knitting until the yarn was gone. That's why he has to turn the bottom up. Son went out and rolled in the field - figured if he got the sweater dirty enough he wouldn't have to wear it - got a piece of grass caught between his teeth, liked the look and kept it there. Mother poured herself a glass of stuff from the still and is spending the day deciding how she's going to spend the rest of her days - probably doing just what she's doing right now!

Dad is saying; "Darn it, son, you are driving your mother to drink with all this talk about joining 4-H since we moved to Green Acres. The leader says you have to muck out this barn for your initiation!"

Ok...here's another (can you tell I'm arms deep in stockinette st & have enjoyed this as a pleasant diversion?)

Here's the setup:

They all work at one of those ol' timey "Mom & Pop" pharmacies with the soda fountains bar. They specialize in vet meds (hence the decor). The sweaters are their uniforms and Dad's turned up waist band is his "pocket protector" for his pens since he doesn't have his lab coat on.

Person on other end of call just asked: "Do you have cotton balls?"

The Dad/Pharmacist replied: "Why, yes I do."

Response from caller: "Does it tickle when you walk?"

Dad/Pharmacist: "Why, I oughtah!"

He is sharing the dialogue of this call to the boy (who has a serious case of "pica") and lady.

Lady with her head tucked down in between sips of her Turkish root beer float repeats in whisper tone as Brick does on the show "The Middle": "cotton balls."

Dad is calling the Buena Vista to report that mom stole a glass last time they were there after one too many Irish Coffees as he explains to the son about right from wrong. Son is chewing on whatever hayseed thing that he pulled out of the ground at Crissy Field because he's nervous that mom is going to get into trouble ... And mom is slurping down her drink as fast as she can before the police get there to take her away!

To me the woman looks like an older sister. She's playing coy, while the son is giving dad a hard time about the woman on the other end of the phone line. Dad wants them both out of the way while he chats up his girlfriend.

Dad: “It’s the newspaper! They saw our sweaters today in town when we were unloading hay at the feed supply. Junior here was bragging about how great our sweaters were, you know he wears his (sweater) all the time! Anyway, everyone was talking about how great our sweaters looked. Before we knew it, a small crowd had gathered around us, admiring our sweaters. Now the newspaper wants to know if they can get you to make some more, say like 50 for the town parade next month. Heck, the mayor even wants one! The only thing is that the parade committee wants you to knit them in red, white, and blue. What do you say, honey? Surely they didn’t take that long to knit. I’ll even take you out for dinner after the parade?”

Junior: Remains silent, slightly smirking (he’s heard his mother complain about how sore her hands are from knitting all those cables, and how she hated the cheap yarn she’d had to use. She had been dreaming of using Plucky Rustic, but she just couldn’t afford it and the groceries too, so she had to use some silly brand with a Red Heart).

The family is on their way to take a family photo when the phone rings. Dad answers the phone and it is the head football coach at Notre Dame University. Junior has just received a full scholarship to the University and is now a proud member of the fighting Irish football squad. The props in the photo hint at all the details… Straw in the mouth is interpreted as a football player chewing tobacco, but Notre Dame is in Indiana and that is where they grow grass plus junior is a good boy who works summers on a ranch (saddles in the background). Grandma made the sweaters at the request of mom so the family could take a high school graduation photo with junior. The sweaters are Irish Fisherman style sweaters complete with beautiful cables that grandma made because she is so happy that junior wants to go to an Irish Catholic school in her home state of Indiana. Mom is trying to finish her cup of coffee because they are late for the photo, but she does not want to smudge the lipstick hence the straw.

All the matching sweaters are worn because every mother thinks people dressing alike always look better in family photos. Mom also drinks from a straw to not smudge the lipstick, coffee is cold because they are late and can quickly be sucked through a straw to get the caffeine hit before the photo.

I think mom organized everyone for a Christmas family photo and they're waiting for the photographer to show. Dad and kid have been griping, mom grabs a stiff drink. Photographer calls to say he isn't showing, dad is yelling, "What the he%^, here we are dressed like a bunch of fools, sweating our arses off, I can't believe this!!!!!!!" Mom takes a long drink, kid smirks, dad is heated. Kid's chewing on grass that was somehow planned as part of props for the upcoming photo shoot. The question is... did mom knit the sweaters or buy them (and what is her drink of choice)?

I think they are all models and when they all came out in the same sweater the MAN insisted that they were NOT all supposed to be in the same Ad with the same sweater on. The BOY and WOMAN told him he was wrong. He was so insistent that when he got on the phone with his manager and was told they were correct....He turned to the other models to tell them how Ridiculous and silly they are going to look and the BOY and WOMAN just sat back... smirking and thinking, WE TOLD YOU SO.

It seems that Junior got caught coming in after curfew last weekend. In order to get back at his dad for grounding him, Junior submitted Dad's picture to the Community Calendar Committee. Dad just got the call that, because he looks so great in that sweater in the photo submitted, he has been named Mr. November! Dad is mortified. What will his chums at the lodge think? And Mom is just annoyed that she won't be featured.

It's really difficult to keep these stories clean what with the leather straps on the wall and the repressed,middle-class white family dynamics taught through TV shows of the time ("Father Knows Best," "Leave it to Beaver," etc.)

How totally scary - I actually have that booklet - eeep! My thought for a caption would be "The Three Blind Mice" - They all look like they are in their own world. Brings back fashion memories I would rather forget LOL

I don't think it's the mom. I think she's the sister of the boy. Maybe if I had a closer look she'd look older, but this is what I think is going on-

A girl is calling for Son. Dad is worried and annoyed because he doesn't approve of this girl. She probably wears TROUSERS and her sweaters are too tight. Son is entertained by Dad's annoyance, because he has just been spending some time in the barn with the hot stable hand/pool boy/gardener, and because his dad has rolled up his sweater ribbing, and Daughter has that incredulous yet slightly bored look on her face because she knows her brother is totally gay.

Dad: Son, it's Farmer John on the telephone. Something's been going on in his hayloft!Son: Oh really?Mom: At least something's going on somewhere. Since it's definitely not happening here, I could use another drink.

Dad: "Madge, it's the doctor. He's got more of the elixir I told you about. The one that curbs oral fixation. There's enough for you and Ritchie...only side-effect is a desperate need to flip things outwards. Luckily, I've found a way to manage that...."