It's only taken three seasons—and a few more martinis than that—for Dorinda Medley to become an audience favorite on Bravo's long-running reality show Real Housewives of New York. The blunt blond Upper East Sider has become known for hosting the other women in her nine-bedroom Berkshires home, as well as usually being able to stay clear of the group's on-camera feuds. At a holiday cocktail party in honor of her partnership with HomeGoods (one of Medley's self-proclaimed longtime favorite stores), the reality star talks to us about how to host, the ethos of wealth, and—we had to ask—if she ever repaired the removed light fixture and paint-peeled walls that caused such a rift between Medley and her castmate Ramona Singer last season.

Architectural Digest: So tell me about how this HomeGoods collaboration came about.Dorinda Medley: It's a dream come true. My daughter Hannah has been raised on HomeGoods and T.J. Maxx. We use it as our weekend activity, and we have a strategy. She knows it; she’s been so schooled that when we get there, she grabs one cart and I grab the other. I have the cart of definites, she has the cart of maybes, and then we have a third cart at the end, where it’s like, "We got that when we first came in, I’m kind of over it now," and then we go to the cash register. So when I got this opportunity to bring a bit of the Berkshires to New York, I was thrilled. They thought they were going to teach me how to shop when I went shopping there, and I was like, "You know you’re talking to Dorinda Medley, right?" I know how to take down a HomeGoods.

AD: Is there a section you go to first in the store?DM: I usually go to the bedding section first because it’s the heavier stuff, so I like to put the HomeGoods bedding on the bottom. If you start with glassware, then you’re piling on top of glassware, it's going to break it. No, seriously, I know how to take a HomeGoods down.

AD: What are your tips for being a great hostess this time of year, and for being a great guest?DM: Listen, if you want to be a good hostess, always invite a lot of interesting people; always be very excited to see your guests; never ask questions like "Is he still with her?"; don't talk about politics; and circulate. Make sure you circulate, and have great music—and please, for God's sake, have food! Because when you go to these parties and no one has food, then everybody gets sloshed and then you’re just dialing 911 all night! Make people feel like it's a night out; make people feel like you’re so happy to have them in your home. The best compliment that I get when people come to stay with me is that people say, "You made me feel so welcomed." And make your home accessible. I don’t have a home that isn’t used. I use my china, I use my cups, I use my house. I let people come and cook with me. I really don’t like homes where it's like, there's the glass that no one uses. My house is used. And when something breaks, I say, 'Well, I had a good time with that sh*t.'

AD: That's a very French approach, I have to say. The idea to not save amazing things for one-off occasions and instead use them all the time.DM: I use my porcelain in the morning for my teas and coffee because nothing feels better than sipping coffee out of a porcelain cup. And it just makes you feel better about yourself. I always say, "Wealth is here [points to her heart]—not here." [makes a money gesture with her thumb and finger] You could be living in a teepee, and if you are wealthy in your mind, you’re wealthy. And that’s how I try to run my whole life. Welcoming, robust, lots of colors, lots of people. I want to bring a smile to people's faces.

AD: What's the best party you’ve ever been to?DM: The best party I’ve ever been to was at Buckingham Palace. I really felt like I had made it. When you go through the gates, and they give you a special card, and the guy comes out and takes you in and you walk into Buckingham and you go through the dining room of portraits and it’s real. Oh my God, it’s real, these people really lived. I went to an event for Prince Charles there and it was spectacular.

AD: What about the best party you've ever thrown?DM: The best party that I’ve ever thrown was probably the parties in my townhouse. I used to do an annual Halloween party in my townhouse. And it would be a huge dinner, and it would be like 30 people, and I would put a coffin on the table, and at the end of the dinner a person would sit up in the coffin. He would lie there the whole time, and then as dessert was being served, he would sit up in the coffin and say "Thank you for coming." People would lose it, because at that point they were a little drunk.

The life of the party: Sarah Paulson and Elisabeth Moss are thrilled to be joined by their favorite Real Housewife on Andy Cohen's talk show.

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AD: Did you ever fix that light—DM: Yes, I did. And you know what, the worst part of that was for me is that we all make mistakes. Listen, I’m not going lie to you, I’ve had nights where I’ve woken up the next morning and I’m like, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep with your husband!" I’M KIDDING! But the thing that bummed me out in that moment was that she woke up—they woke up—and they were not sorry. They actually defended it.

AD: Who defended it?DM: RAMONA! Instead of just saying, "Oh my God, I was totally drunk and I screwed up, make sure you send me the bill, I don’t know what I was thinking." That’s what hurt me the most. It drives me nuts. I sort of live in the Berkshires, but I work in New York. I love my apartment in New York, but the Berkshires is where my heart is. It was given to me by my husband. I savor it; I honor it. So when I saw people treat it like this, it broke my heart. You know what I mean? I take my home very seriously.

AD: What do you feel that a home means to you?DM: Home is safety; home is an expression of yourself; home is a place that you can heal, grow, think, be creative. It should be a place that teaches you to be on your own, and you should be comfortable. I walk into my home and I’m like, oh, thank God. I like to live in my home; my home is not a museum. Things don’t match; I have my religious stuff over there, and people can have an opinion about it, but I don’t care. This white on white on white stuff—I would die.

AD: When you’re filming, do you feel like you have a certain way that you have to go about things differently?DM: I don’t—I really don’t. When they say they’re going to film in my house on a Friday, I say come on in, this is what it is. I don’t even move a thing. Because, you know, I think the audience has come to see I like life. I’m very tangible. I like to touch things. I always have fresh flowers. That’s my one gift I give to myself every single Monday morning. And I always have a candle on.

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