12 Gadgets for a Real-Life Batman

If there has been one superhero that any geek has thought they could actually emulate, it would be Batman. With no real superpower (per se) and a slew of gadgets, he is certainly among the most achievable goals to reach. I mean, I don’t see people lining up to be bitten by a radioactive spider, or playing in gamma radiation in an attempt to be like a superhero. I certainly hope they aren’t either, because the likelihood of those experiments having favorable results is dismal. Training and buying gadgets is definitely an option though.

The allure of being the Dark Knight has captured my interest as well, and the thought caused me to do a little gadget-browsing to see what was available to the public that would make a good Bat-gadget (I even created a Pinterest board with some cool findings that you can follow here). This is strictly for entertainment purposes though. Any future news articles about someone dressed up as Batman and fighting crime in the streets at night will be purely coincidental.

As a disclosure, I am definitely not condoning brandishing this equipment and putting yourself in danger either. Any crimes or illegal activities should be reported to your local law enforcement. I am also not promoting the use or purchase of these products or endorsing them, but instead making a statement as to where we are technologically with consumer electronics. With those things being said, here is my list of twelve gadgets that would help make me Batman.

I have broken the gadgets down into three primary categories that would be essential to being a real-life Batman.

Combat

When battling crime, personal safety is a top priority. How are you going to save the day if you are on the ground out cold (or worse)? D30 armor is the most impact-resistant material on the market. It absorbs shock by spreading impact throughout the material. The flexibility of the material makes it easy to form around vital parts of your body. There are videos online of people not being phased while being hit by a baseball bat.

Those involved in sports, law enforcement, and military have depended on D30 for protection. It may not deflect a bullet, but it would definitely help in a scrap. If the opponent has a gun, Batman’s armor would not stop the bullet in real-life. Full-body, bullet-stopping armor is for Hollywood only.

We all know that Batman doesn’t kill people, so a gun would not be an option for a real-life, caped crusader either. In favor of less-lethal weaponry, the BodyGuard stun glove might be a likely option. The device is equipped with stun prongs, an LED flash light, a laser guide, and a 720p HD video camera. Not all of these things would be useful to a stealthy superhero, but they could make nice little additions for unforeseen circumstances.

There is enough room on the forearm piece to allow navigation devices, radio communicators, and other gadgets that could help the stun glove almost double as a utility gadget as well. The best option would likely be to put a smartphone in here to control all of your other mobile-device-controlled gadgets. However the glove is used though, it would be a useful addition to the ensemble.

While Batman tends to keep his battles in close-quarters, there are some times where a little ranged combat is unavoidable. Batarangs are a great way to execute a less-lethal distance attack to stop a fleeing baddie, or slow down an approaching one. A real-life Batman may not have the wealth of Bruce Wayne, so throwing a bunch of shuriken-style Batarangs would likely not be practical (I’m looking at you, Lego Batman!).

The solution? The Returning Batarang!

Victor Poulin has built a Batarang that really returns to you when thrown. You can watch his video by clicking here. While it may not return to you after hitting your opponent, it would with a miss. The idea is that, if you hit your opponent, you should be able to retrieve your Batarang since you should have knocked the baddie out with the blow. The size might make it a little difficult to conceal on your person, but it would be a good addition to have in one of your vehicles.

Utility

There will inevitably be times that perps will get away. With the StickNFind Bluetooth stickers, they won’t be lost forever though. The quarter-sized sticker can track up to 100 feet away and gives the last known location when it gets out of range. You can even set it to alert your phone when it is back in range again after leaving range. So an underground hideout won’t help your foes if you stick them with this gadget.

The simple-to-use radar app that you download makes tracing this sticker with your phone an easy task. If it is within 100 feet, you will find it. So they can run, but they can’t hide.

A long-time staple for Batman is his grapple gun. When he is having a tough time getting into an enemy hideout, or needs to make a quick getaway, Batman whips this trusty device out. While the comic, movie, and cartoon version that is small enough to be carried in his utility belt may not be realistic, the gadget itself is. Like the returning Batarang, this would make a good gadget to keep in the Batmobile.

With this real-life grapple gun you could scale tall buildings with ease. If some punk thinks he can break into a building through the rooftop safely, he’s got another thing coming. If paired with a more concealable, throwing grapple, there shouldn’t be any inaccessible rooftops, short of skyscrapers.

There can be a number of situations in which a real-life Dark Knight could find themselves needing to use a light while still having both hands free. Say, for instance, locating and dismantling a bomb in a dark tunnel. This light is a perfect fit for that situation. The 100 lumen bulb has 3 intensity levels and an adjustable beam angle. It also comes on a variety of holsters, including a hydration pack.

None of the available holsters are in “Batman-regalia-approved” colors, but a little black and yellow paint could fix that right up. Making it able to flip over with the Batman logo on the back is a must too.

It is utterly important to be able to communicate with home base. There have been many times in the past 75 years of Batman history that Alfred has called during intense moments to give the hero vital information that tipped the scales of the battle into his favor. You certainly can’t be whipping out a cell phone every time you need to take that call either. A small Bluetooth headset would be ideal in this situation.

This item would likely need the most modification. It would have to be built into your cowl so it would fit in your ear comfortably. Using a small piece like this would be the best option for hands-free communication in the heat of battle. Though with a little more modification, you might be able to fit a large one in your mask as well.

So if the grapple gun isn’t easily carried, what do you put in your utility belt to scale heights? The pocket grappling hook would work well here. If partnered with the correct cable, this hook can support up to 350 lbs (again don’t try this at home). While you might not be able to toss this onto large buildings, it would be ideal for scaling houses and other small to medium-sized buildings.

The compact size makes this item easy to conceal in your utility belt, along with all of your other gadgets. The hardest part would be concealing the appropriate amount of rope or cable. A little creativity will get you going though.

So we have all of these really cool devices that are ran from a phone that is inside the stun glove. There is a problem though: Batman wears gloves! For the sake of keeping a secret identity, a real-life Batman wouldn’t want to be putting his fingerprints all over the place. That is where Hammacher Schlemmer’s touchscreen gloves would come in.

The gloves are impregnated with a conductive material that mimics human touch for smartphones. Obviously the technology would have to be put into a more defensive material than lambskin, but the technology would allow control of all of the Bluetooth devices in the getup.

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Vehicles

That’s right, I said hoverbike. This is still in the prototype stage, but would definitely be worth adding to your arsenal when available. With the ability to hover an estimated 10,000 feet above ground, you should be able to chase scum through the city or countryside. Having a 1170cc motor should be all the power you need in order to get the upper hand in a chase, as well.

This isn’t an item that I have seen Batman use, but it would definitely help in the real world. The hero from the comics uses a number of different vehicles for flight through the city that would be impractical for many people, but this hoverbike has the possibility to be on the higher side of affordable.

To anyone who would object to this; you’re Batman, get a Batmobile. It doesn’t matter where you live, get a Batmobile. A reliable mode of transportation is essential for an earth-bound superhero. If you can make sure it is equipped with all of the necessary gadgets, you’ll save yourself from a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Since a tank is likely out of most people’s price range, my pick for the modern, real-life Batman would be the Nissan GT-R (it’s pricey, but c’mon it’s the Batmobile!). You’d have the 545 horsepower for the necessary speed to catch baddies, the AWD system for superior handling and grip, and a dual-clutch 6-speed transmission for control. It is equipped with all of the modern conveniences, including a screen with key-performance parameters. The sleek design also makes it easy to modify with Batwings (and it comes in black!).

There will be muscle car junkies that completely disagree with Batman using a ricer, but I wouldn’t want a rear-wheel drive that may cut loose in a chase and cost me the mission. Slicks aren’t a functional option for daily driving either, so I opted for a car with good controllability.

So, as you can tell, being a real-life Batman may be closer to reality than you might think. Most of these items were found with simple Google searches, so there may even be more options out there that didn’t make this list. Whether we sport the suit or not, it is definitely fun to dream.

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Shawn serves on the board for Geeks Under Grace and director of marketing. He has played video games since he was 2 years old and has immersed himself deep within the geek culture. Writing short stories and releasing them for free to the public began his writing journey, and now he uses what he has learned along the way to help Christians benefit from geek culture. Out of his desire to serve Christ, he also founded DUDEronomy and continues to write short stories that entertain and give perspective into the life of a Christian.
Shawn's hope is that his life would exemplify a follower of Christ and lead people to accept salvation through His grace. He wants to be a good father, husband, son, and friend to those around him.

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