Simply Rebekahhttp://simplyrebekah.com
Frugal, Green & Life in BetweenTue, 07 Nov 2017 20:12:55 -0500en-UShourly117268827Crushing the “Perfect Mom” Illusionhttp://simplyrebekah.com/2017/11/07/crushing-the-perfect-mom-illusion/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/11/07/crushing-the-perfect-mom-illusion/#commentsTue, 07 Nov 2017 20:12:55 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11753You have seen her before. She is the perfect mom. She totally has her act together, and you can’t help but wonder what is her magic secret? Today I was that perfect mom. Trust me. I didn’t feel like that mom, yet just hours ago another mom asked me for my secret. We were at a moms’ group at […]

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You have seen her before. She is the perfect mom. She totally has her act together, and you can’t help but wonder what is her magic secret?

Today I was that perfect mom.

Trust me. I didn’t feel like that mom, yet just hours ago another mom asked me for my secret.

We were at a moms’ group at my church. The prayer request that I shared at my table was for better sleep. Little Isaac is 9 months old. Like most babies, his sleep habits can vary, which means that my sleep varies. Better sleep is always a good prayer request for this mama.

As we were finishing up, another mom said to me, “Rebekah, I just have to say that for someone who isn’t sleeping well, you look great! You look amazing and refreshed today. What is your secret?”

That is when I told her what we all need to remember: There is no secret. It is all an illusion.

Behind any “perfect mom,” there are a myriad of flaws.

Let’s take a moment to retrace my steps from the hours before my moms’ group.

Tuesday night I knew that I would feel rushed the next morning. I tried to do as many things in advance as I could. I packed lunches, picked out clothes, packed the diaper bag, and even went to bed a little early.

I set my alarm early so that I could have plenty of time to wake up and shower before the kids were up.

Isaac had other plans. He woke up before my alarm. So instead of getting myself completely ready before the kids were up, I got the kids ready and then took my shower.

Taking my shower last doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, but my curly hair needs plenty of air-drying time. Or I can dry it using a diffuser on my hairdryer. Turns out, I had time for neither.

I rushed us out the door and into the car with my shoes in my hand.

I drove to the school barefoot. We got there 3 minutes late for Grace’s bible study that meets before school.

If you were in the school parking lot, I was the crazy mom yelling out the car window for her daughter to press the call button so someone would let her in the building since the rest of the kids were already inside.

After dropping off Grace, I pulled into a random parking lot to put my shoes on. I also put on my makeup.

Finally I was ready to drive to church for moms’ group, but my hair was ridiculously wet. Usually, that wouldn’t be anything more than annoying, but I was scheduled to lead our group this morning and would be standing up front.

I kept telling myself I shouldn’t care. We are all moms and we’ve all been there, but my pride got in the way. I felt stupid showing up with wet hair. Correction: It wasn’t just wet hair. It was practically still dripping.

I complained to my girlfriends on Voxer while driving and trying to strategically align the car’s heat vents so they would blow on my hair and help it dry.

One of my girlfriends offered to bring her hair dryer to the church for me. My pride rejoiced and I accepted her offer.

Once at church, I used the hairdryer in the bathroom. No less than 3 women commented on the fact that I was carrying a hairdryer. At this point it was just comical. I was officially a hot mess.

Then about 1.5 hours later, another mom asks me what is my secret!

I delighted in crushing her illusion of me having it all together. I gladly told her of my insane barefoot-driving, makeup-applying-in-a-parking-lot, hair-dripping, hairdryer-borrowing morning.

And she smiled from ear to ear.

And I smiled from ear to ear.

Because it felt good to be real with her. And I imagine that she felt good being reminded that all of us are flawed, no matter how we appear from the outside.

Either that or she was smiling because she thought I was completely crazy.

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]]>http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/11/07/crushing-the-perfect-mom-illusion/feed/211753The Power of Contentmenthttp://simplyrebekah.com/2017/10/03/power-of-contentment/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/10/03/power-of-contentment/#commentsWed, 04 Oct 2017 01:38:08 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11369Last year my church started a podcast, PetraCast, to encourage and enrich our church family as well as those outside of our church. I had the privilege of being one of the first guest co-hosts last fall, and my husband was a guest co-host this August. Although I am very open about my Christian faith […]

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Last year my church started a podcast, PetraCast, to encourage and enrich our church family as well as those outside of our church. I had the privilege of being one of the first guest co-hosts last fall, and my husband was a guest co-host this August.

Although I am very open about my Christian faith here on Simply Rebekah, it isn’t something that I talk about all that often. I think you will apperciate a change in pace as you listen to me discuss key moments in my spiritual journey and my thoughts on contentment.

My husband, Nate, was featured in the episode “Making Disciples is Messy.” Nate shares about his experience being the director of a homeless shelter. He outlines misconceptions of homelessness, and the messiness of walking along side those in need.

I would love to have you listen to my episode, but if you are only going to listen to one, it really should be Nate’s episode. Nate is a powerful speaker, and I can guarantee that he will challenge your thinking on poverty in America.

PetraCast Episode 8: The Power of Contentment

Highlights from the Episode:

My neurotic way of controlling the gender reveal in my pregnancies and the time it went all wrong

The light bulb moment that inspired me to be baptized

The theater that changed my life and my best friend’s life

My favorite thing about Fall that you must try for yourself

Why I relate to Zaccheus from the Bible

An encounter with my host mother in Guatemala that changed the way I view my possessions

Is the “American dream” biblical?

A classic example of discontentment from the popular HGTV show “Fixer Upper”

Thank you for listening! If you want to hear more from me, you can listen to the weekly podcast Sorta Awesome, where I am a regular co-host.

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]]>http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/10/03/power-of-contentment/feed/211369I Hate Cleaning, But This Helps . . . (Free Cleaning Kit)http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/21/i-hate-cleaning-but-this-helps/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/21/i-hate-cleaning-but-this-helps/#commentsThu, 21 Sep 2017 11:00:15 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11086This post contains affiliate links. I am pretty honest about my struggles here. If you’ve been reading Simply Rebekah for even a short amount of time, you’ll know that one of my biggest struggles is cleaning. I hate cleaning. My personality type (ESFP) doesn’t handle structure and routines very well. Instead, I love to live […]

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I am pretty honest about my struggles here. If you’ve been reading Simply Rebekah for even a short amount of time, you’ll know that one of my biggest struggles is cleaning. I hate cleaning.

My personality type (ESFP) doesn’t handle structure and routines very well. Instead, I love to live in the moment. Often I find myself neglecting cleaning tasks because of other bright and shiny fun that delightfully distracts me.

Because of that, I’ve come up with some tactics to help me overcome my hatred for cleaning.

Many cleaning products on the market today are effective, but they are not truly safe for me or my family. Sadly, many of the chemicals used in cleaners are toxic and can cause harmful side effects, which is why I have made it a point to use natural or organic cleaning and bath products as much as possible.

Finding safe products that you love and that are effective can be hard, but I want to help you!

I’ve teamed up with Grove Collaborative to make cleaning more fun in your house with this natural, fall seasonal set of Mrs. Meyer’s products.

When you place your first order of $20, you’ll get the fall set in your choice of scents — you can even mix and match if you like:

Free Fall Seasonal Mrs. Meyer’s hand soap

Free Fall Seasonal Mrs. Meyer’s dish soap

Free Fall Seasonal Mrs. Meyer’s candle

Free Grove kitchen towel

Free Shipping & 60 Day VIP Trial

If you’re already a Grove customer, you’ll get a free set of Grove walnut scrubbers.

I especially love this Mrs. Meyer’s candle. It’s made with essential oils, vegetable waxes, and a lead-free cotton wick for a clean, healthy burn. It lasts so much longer than conventional candles. My house smells amazing!

The Mrs. Meyer’s hand soap, dish soap, and candle come in matching scents so you can fill your entire home with your favorite fall scent. All the products are non-toxic and made with plant- derived ingredients, so I feel good about using them with my family. The set also includes a lovely Grove Collaborative kitchen towel.

This set is a perfect example of why I love Grove: They offer an amazing selection of the best natural household products from both their house brand and favorites like Mrs. Meyer’s, Seventh Generation, and Tom’s of Maine. Plus, they remember what you like and ship it to your doorstep, on your schedule.

If you’re on the fence about trying Grove Collaborative, this is your opportunity! When you sign up using my link, you’ll get the free fall set + free shipping + free 60 day VIP trial. For 60 days, you’ll get free shipping, free gifts, price matching, exclusive sales, and personal service.

For more information on Grove Collaborative, watch this brief Facebook video I created. This video explains the type of person who would love Grove, how to change your monthly shipment dates, and how to pause monthly shipments.

I can’t come to your house and clean for you, but I can make your cleaning experience more enjoyable (and safer!) with this fantastic deal from Grove Collaborative. Enjoy it!

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Offer ends Sunday, September 24, 2016 at 9 PM EST. (UPDATE: As of 9/28/17 this offer is still good! I don’t know how long it will last.) Grove Collaborative does not currently ship to Alaska, Hawaii, or Canada. Thank you for supporting Simply Rebekah.

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]]>http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/21/i-hate-cleaning-but-this-helps/feed/611086I Experienced a Miracle!http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/17/i-experienced-a-miracle/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/17/i-experienced-a-miracle/#commentsMon, 18 Sep 2017 02:52:18 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11697This post contains affiliate links. My Miracle When Noah was born in 2012, we received a bill for several hundred dollars that wasn’t covered by our insurance. Someone at the hospital suggested that I request a deduction in the bill, and we ended up needing to pay only $10! The massive reduction of that bill was […]

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My Miracle

When Noah was born in 2012, we received a bill for several hundred dollars that wasn’t covered by our insurance. Someone at the hospital suggested that I request a deduction in the bill, and we ended up needing to pay only $10! The massive reduction of that bill was a huge blessing for us.

Nate and I are thankful for our insurance coverage, but it comes with a pricey premium and a pretty steep deductible. Paying nearly $1,000 (for a bill that we had reduced to $10 for Noah’s birth!!) along with bills for an expensive hospital stay and c-section delivery was frustrating to say the least.

This past May on a Monday night, while meeting with our small group from church Nate and I requested prayer for our medical expenses and specifically for this bill. On Tuesday I talked to the billing department and requested a significant discount again. While on hold, I was able to text our small group and tell them to pray.

Unfortunately, the conversation didn’t go as I had hoped. I hung up the phone, felt defeated, and cried.

Later that day I told Nate that I should focus on the fact that we were blessed by having the bill reduced with Noah rather than feeling like it unfair that we have to pay the full amount with Isaac. I was trying to change my attitude, but it wasn’t easy!

Fast forward to Saturday. Nate sat down to pay the bills. He opened yet another envelope from our insurance company, but instead of it being a bill it was a check. Guys, it was a check for over 3 times the amount of the bill we had been disputing!!!

On Tuesday, I was defeated and crying. God hadn’t answered our prayers. Yet on Saturday, God blew us away. He showed us once again that His plans for us are better than our plans. His timing isn’t always our timing, but that doesn’t mean He isn’t listening.

Plus, I went on to have an amazing weekend and earned a significant amount of money through my online work. Then on Monday, we received a generous financial gift.

Over the course of 3 days, we received over 12 times the amount we had requested prayer for just days before. Over 12 times the amount!!! Praise the Lord!

More Than Just Making It

Have you been there? Crying over bills? Praying for financial relief?

Are you there right now?

Financial hardship is real. It is stressful and all consuming. It can feel embarrassing and even shameful.

In Erin Odom’s book More Than Just Making It, she is breaking down the stigma of the poor. Erin pulls back the curtain on her own financial struggles and acknowledges a group of people that many privileged Americans are clueless about: the working poor.

Erin’s husband was working full time as a teacher and Erin was a part-time freelance writer. They both had a college education. They were cutting costs in all the right places, yet they simply couldn’t survive on their income.

My husband sees this in his line of work all the time. He is the director of a homeless shelter, and constantly sees residents in his program that are working full time jobs. For many Americans, financial hardship is just one crisis away. All it takes is one medical emergency, lost job, or car accident. As my husband says, “Poverty isn’t a moral issue.” It can happen to any of us.

For those of you who are barely holding it together, I urge you to read More Than Just Making It. I believe you will find comfort in Erin’s words as she validates the struggles that you are walking through.

Along with sharing her personal financial journey and challenging us all to rethink the stereotypes we may have about the poor in America today, Erin Odom also shares practical tips to help you cut expenses and increase your income.

I especially appreciated the chapter Erin wrote about recognizing the ways God provided for her family, which is why I chose to share our miracle story with you today. I hope that you will be encouraged by our miracle, and will take a moment to recognize the big and small ways that God is taking care of your needs.

You can find out more about Erin Odom’s book at MoreThanJustMakingIt.com. You can find the book at Target, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and your local library (request it if they don’t already have it!).

Is there a miracle you are seeking? Let me know how I can pray for you.

Disclosure: I originally shared this miracle story in my monthly newsletter, but the response was so positive, I wanted to share it here as well. You can sign up for my newsletter here. This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for supporting Simply Rebekah. I was not compensated for this review of More Than Just Making It. Top image by Alvimann via Morguefile. Bottom image by Victoria Wilson.

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]]>http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/17/i-experienced-a-miracle/feed/211697Easy and Simple Dinosaur Birthday Partyhttp://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/05/easy-simple-dinosaur-birthday-party/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/05/easy-simple-dinosaur-birthday-party/#respondWed, 06 Sep 2017 01:18:55 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11673Noah turned 5 this year, and we celebrated with an easy and simple dinosaur birthday party. Birthday parties in our house are always somewhere in between “Pinterest Perfect” and “Minimalist Fun.” I want our parties to have fun decorations, but I don’t want them to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. For […]

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Noah turned 5 this year, and we celebrated with an easy and simple dinosaur birthday party. Birthday parties in our house are always somewhere in between “Pinterest Perfect” and “Minimalist Fun.”

I want our parties to have fun decorations, but I don’t want them to take a lot of time or cost a lot of money. For more cheap birthday inspiration, check out the links at the end of this post.

This post contains affiliate links.

Easy and Simply Dinosaur Birthday Party

For Noah’s party, I spent some time browsing Pinterest for inspiration. I found some great ideas here and here. Then I went shopping at Dollar Tree and Walmart, gathered items I already had around the house, did minimal prep, and decorated the day of the party.

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]]>http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/09/05/easy-simple-dinosaur-birthday-party/feed/011673A Day in the Life of… 2017http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/08/01/a-day-in-the-life-2017/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/08/01/a-day-in-the-life-2017/#commentsWed, 02 Aug 2017 01:22:43 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11644This post contains affiliate links. Welcome to the 7th Annual “A Day in the Life of…” photography project! Every year on January 18th I take one picture every hour from the moment I wake up until I go to bed that night. I end up taking pictures of the ordinary – supper prep, cranky kids, trips the […]

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Welcome to the 7th Annual “A Day in the Life of…” photography project!

Every year on January 18th I take one picture every hour from the moment I wake up until I go to bed that night. I end up taking pictures of the ordinary – supper prep, cranky kids, trips the library, a cup of coffee, my computer screen.

These ordinary pictures are actually quite extraordinary. They are my everyday. They are my here and my now. They are a day in my life.

I feel like I’ve given myself an amazing gift to be able to look back at a typical day from the past years and see the changes from year to year. The gift of being able to see the extraordinary in my everyday routine because the truth is simple: today’s routine will not be the same for long. My children will grow. My jobs will change. These routines will not remain.

This year January 18th was extra special because it was also my due date! I usually share my Day in the Life photos in February, but I blame my extreme delay this year on little Isaac’s arrival.

A Day in the Life of Rebekah – January 18, 2017

8:00 AM – Grace and Noah are eating breakfast at “the little table” just like they do most mornings.

9:00 AM – I am dropping Noah off at preschool. He goes every week on Monday and Wednesday mornings. It is always a rush to get him there on time after dropping off Grace.

10:00 AM – I am enjoying breakfast at my church’s moms’ group.

11:00 AM – Today is extra significant because it is my due date! (Still at church.)

12:00 PM – I am home from picking up Noah at preschool. To help me stay focused these days, I’m writing out a daily to-do list.

1:00 PM – I am forcing myself to make supper tonight. We are having tomato basil parmesan soup. Meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking are a challenge when you never know when you’ll be in labor.

2:00 PM – It is the glorious hour of quiet time! I’m laying on the couch with the 40 week baby bump propped up with pillows. Time to indulge in some Netflix! My current binge is the 90210 remake.

3:00 PM – Quiet time is over, and Noah is enjoying some tablet time. We are about to leave to pick up Grace from school.

4:00 PM – I am attempting to organize the nursing and changing table. It isn’t that bad, but clearly I can’t change a diaper here with it in this condition.

5:00 PM – Grace is keeping me company while I pack up Noah’s outgrown clothes, which I was collecting in the toybox. I also put some things in my “nursing basket.” I’ll keep this basket filled with diapers, wipes, nursing pads, and burp cloths next to me on the couch or in bed once the baby is here.

6:00 PM – Supper time!

7:00 PM – We went to Dairy Queen for blizzards. Everything was half price today, and I had a gift card. It was a frugal girl’s dream.

8:00 PM – Bedtime cuddles.

9:00 PM – I know this is the lamest picture, but I am obsessed with this Cooking Fever game. Today’s hourly glimpse into my life wouldn’t be complete without it.

10:00 PM – It is time for my prenatal vitamin and final drink of water for the day. It is a nightly struggle to drink enough, yet not wake up a million times to go the bathroom.

Thank you for sharing a day in my life!

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]]>http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/08/01/a-day-in-the-life-2017/feed/111644My Top 6 Picks for Summerhttp://simplyrebekah.com/2017/06/21/top-6-picks-for-summer/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/06/21/top-6-picks-for-summer/#commentsWed, 21 Jun 2017 21:59:02 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11607Once again it is time for fun in the sun! Here are my top 6 picks for summer to help you survive, thrive, and indulge this year. This post contains affiliate links. My Top 6 Picks for Summer 1. Belly Bulge Slimming Swimsuit – Last summer I was able to hide my pregnancy for the first […]

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Once again it is time for fun in the sun! Here are my top 6 picks for summer to help you survive, thrive, and indulge this year.

This post contains affiliate links.

My Top 6 Picks for Summer

1. Belly Bulge Slimming Swimsuit – Last summer I was able to hide my pregnancy for the first 14 weeks with this blue Ruffled One-Piece Swimsuit from Target. The tiered ruffles are very flattering. In fact, I am still loving this suit this summer as I am continuing to lose my baby weight.

Of course this swimsuit won’t turn you into a size 2, but hopefully it can give you the confidence you need to feel comfortable at the beach this summer.

2. Sonic’s Frozen Lemonade – I have been avoiding dairy since Isaac was born, and I miss ice cream terribly. However, if I hadn’t given up ice cream for the sake of my baby’s tummy, I may have never discovered the awesomeness of Sonic’s frozen lemonades.

You can add any of their flavorings to this tart, yet sweet slushie. I highly recommend adding strawberry sauce. Delish!

Keri describes the playlist as “70+ songs curated from Top 40 hits that include dope beats and kid friendly lyrics-perfect for patio dance parties and backyard BBQ’s.” I couldn’t agree more.

4. Lemon Curd S’mores – I didn’t think anything could top toasted strawberries and fluff, but I was wrong! Lemon curd s’mores might be the best summer dessert I have ever had. They are life changing!

Toast your marshmallows like normal. Instead of adding a piece of chocolate to your graham cracker, add a smear of lemon curd. It tastes like lemon meringue pie!

5. Slipshorts – Ya know what no one ever wants to talk about? Chub rub and thigh sweat. I hate the feeling of my thighs rubbing together and everything getting hot and sweaty down there. (Did I just say that?? Yes. Yes, I did.) Slipshorts to the rescue!

Slipshorts look a lot like spanx, but they don’t suck everything in like spanx do. In other words, you can easily put them on without feeling like you are going to die trying to squeeze into them. Slipshorts don’t smooth out your curves. They just make your curves behave under your favorite dresses and skirts. I got my Jockey Slipshorts from Target.

I wear underwear under my slipshorts, but maybe you aren’t suppose to. Hmm. Let me know what you think in the comments.

6. Reality Steve Podcast – Reality Steve is known for publishing spoilers for The Bachelor franchise on his website, but all of my fellow Bachelor fans probably knew that already. Personally, I hate spoilers. I’ve never been to Steve’s site, but I was intrigued when I heard about his new podcast.

Every week, Steve interviews a past Bachelor or Bachelorette cast member. He spends an hour taking a deep dive into their experiences on and off the show. I highly recommend his interview with Clare Crawley (runner up from Juan Pablo’s season) and Chris Bukowski (record holder for being on the most seasons). You can find the podcast by searching for “Reality Steve” in iTunes or in your podcast app.

In the several interviews I’ve listened to, I haven’t come across any spoilers. However, I’m limiting myself to listening to his older episodes to be sure I don’t hear any spoilers for Rachel’s current Bachelorette season.

Want more Summer fun?

What are your top picks for Summer this year?

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. At no extra charge to you, I’ll earn a small amount for any sales you make through my links. Thank you for supporting Simply Rebekah! Top image via Pixabay.

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]]>http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/06/21/top-6-picks-for-summer/feed/411607The Pros and Cons of Telling People About a Miscarriagehttp://simplyrebekah.com/2017/05/23/telling-people-about-a-miscarriage/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/05/23/telling-people-about-a-miscarriage/#commentsWed, 24 May 2017 02:41:11 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11029Grief is an extremely intimate thing. Usually, we aren’t given a choice when it comes to inviting people into our circle of grief. When a person dies, we can’t hide it. However, we can limit how many people know about a miscarriage. So then the question becomes: what are the pros and cons of telling people about […]

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Grief is an extremely intimate thing. Usually, we aren’t given a choice when it comes to inviting people into our circle of grief. When a person dies, we can’t hide it. However, we can limit how many people know about a miscarriage. So then the question becomes: what are the pros and cons of telling people about a miscarriage?

First of all, I want to be clear that I don’t think anyone should grieve in complete silence. A miscarriage isn’t something anyone should feel like they need to hide. I highly encourage you to tell at least one person besides your doctor.

Secondly, there is not a right or wrong way to grieve. Some people will naturally feel comfortable telling everyone in their life. Then there are others who want to tell only family or their closest friends. If you have recently experienced a miscarriage, I hope this post will help you decide where you feel comfortable falling on that spectrum.

My Miscarriage Story

My husband and I had a miscarriage in December 2015. At the time I was 6 weeks pregnant. We had been looking forward to adding to our family for several months, and the loss of our baby hit us hard.

At the time of our miscarriage, we had only told one person that we were expecting our third child. It felt awful telling our parents that we were losing a child before they even had a chance to celebrate the new life with us.

The Pros and Cons of Telling People About a Miscarriage

Pro – You open yourself up to getting amazing support from those around you. Nate and I were blessed with some very practical help with meals and childcare. Of course the emotional support through prayer, flowers, cards, and visits were extremely meaningful to us. I can’t stress enough how important it was to me to have friends offer a listening ear when I needed to talk about my loss.

Con – You open yourself up to being disappointed by people’s lack of support. While some people continuously bend over backward to be supportive, others will not. Be prepared to be disappointed at least once. There may be people in your life you expect to check in on you often, but they rarely do. I had some people in my life who knew about our miscarriage, but never acknowledged the loss.

Pro – People have the opportunity to share their miscarriage stories with you. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. Most likely, you know someone who has experienced a miscarriage. Talking to friends who could relate to my story was so important to me. I appreciated being able to process my feelings aloud to someone who knew what I was going through.

Con – People say stupid things in an attempt to be supportive. They mean well, but sometimes the best of intentions fall flat.

Common phrases that may rub you the wrong way:You can always try again. At least you still have your other children.God needed another angel.It is probably for the best.

The worst thing I heard after my miscarriage was “The Great Physician has intervened, and we can trust His judgment.” This statement implies that God had taken my baby, but I truly don’t believe that. I believe we live in a broken world, and that God cries with us when we are suffering. If I placed the blame on God, I would have directed all of my anger onto Him also. That would have hurt my faith, which I desperately needed as I was grieving.

Pro – There are people you can call or send a text to when you are having a bad day, and they instantly understand. There was a pregnancy announcement that was really hard for me to hear. Our older children are the same ages, and we would have shared the same due date. Their announcement was even similar to what I had envisioned for our pregnancy. Although I was happy for them, I was also jealous. I shared the pregnancy announcement with a close friend, and she knew exactly why I was struggling with it.

Con – If everyone knows, then it is hard to “fake it” when you want to. After my miscarriage there were times when I wanted to go about my business and pretend that everything was fine. Everything was NOT fine, but I wanted to pretend at times. It was easier to put on a smile at my church’s moms group and the extended family Christmas rather than let my raw emotions out for the entire group to see.

Pro – Friends and family will understand if you are extra nervous if/when you get pregnant again. They can surround you with love and prayer as you journey through your next pregnancy.

Con – Friends and family may hesitate to celebrate your next pregnancy. I hated the idea of my friends and family being nervous about my next pregnancy. I had enough nervous feelings for all of us! So when Nate and I did get pregnant again, we decided to wait to tell everyone until we had completed the first trimester. I don’t think this is the right choice for everyone.

My Unexpected Struggle with Telling People About Our Miscarriage

The hardest part of our miscarriage was losing the baby. The second hardest part was how vulnerable I felt after telling our family and friends.

Nate and I have always been very hush-hush about our family plans. We didn’t tell anyone when we were trying to get pregnant with our older children. We loved surprising everyone with our happy news when we were expecting.

Nate and I went into our third pregnancy with the same plan. I was so excited to tell everyone that we were having another baby. Everyone was going to be so surprised. No one was expecting us to have a third baby.

But that isn’t how it worked out.

Instead, with tear stained cheeks, we told our families that we were losing our baby. And suddenly, I felt so exposed. My most private and personal dreams for my family were shared with everyone. This didn’t bother Nate, but I hated it.

I felt like everyone was now expecting another pregnancy and waiting for the news. It made me anxious and self conscious. I felt like I was under a microscope.

When we did get pregnant again, it wasn’t surprising to some. That was hard for me.

I don’t expect everyone to relate to my struggles with feeling vulnerable after our miscarriage. It isn’t necessarily a universal feeling, but it was one of the hardest aspects of my miscarriage. Yet, despite how much I hated feeling so exposed, the positives we experienced from telling family and friends about our miscarriage were worth it.

If you are nervous about telling people about a miscarriage…

I understand.

There are some uncomfortable feelings that can come from sharing something so intimate with the world, but I strongly advise you to consider the positives. The positives may outweigh the negatives.

Perhaps start gently. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Tell someone you deeply trust. Test the waters.

And for whatever it’s worth, I am terribly sorry for your loss. It wasn’t suppose to be this way. I’m sorry.

Further Reading:

Did you tell people about your miscarriage?

photos via Pixabay

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What to Buy at Dollar Tree: Spring Edition

1. Salt and Pepper Shakers – I can’t get over the cuteness of these ceramic chick and bunny salt & pepper shakers.

2. Refrigerator Magnet Set – I found these Easter themed magnets in the seasonal section in the front of the store.

3. Gardening Tools – There are a variety of gardening gloves, tools, and planters at Dollar Tree.

4. Laptop Stickers – These would make a fun gift for a tween or teen. My Dollar Tree had 4 varieties: emojis (pictured), hashtags (pictured), “Think Happy! Be Happy!” quote, and a computer gamer theme.

5. Washi Tape – I’ve never used washi tape from Dollar Tree, but for $1 it is worth a try!

6. Rainbow Mirror Magnet – I love this magnet mirror! It would be great for someone with a school locker. I bought one for Grace even though she doesn’t have a locker. I couldn’t help myself.

7. Notebooks – I found several fun notebooks designs. I especially love the sparkly gold notebook.

8. Thank You Cards – Dollar Tree is always a good place to look for “thank you” cards. I bought this pack because I love the simple, classy look.

9. Easter Baskets – Dollar Tree carries several different shapes, sizes, and themes of Easter baskets. Of course, there are also plenty of items in the seasonal section to help you fill up your basket.

10. Religious Picture Books – These picture books would be a great addition to an Easter basket. They are quite thin and flimsy, but the illustrations are bright and fun. Plus, they come with a music CD!

11. Hand Sanitizer – Look for these 3 packs of hand sanitizer by the checkout counter. They come in 3 different scents that change seasonally. I bought some at Christmas to include with teacher gifts.

Want more Dollar Tree posts?

What are your favorite things to buy at Dollar Tree?

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]]>http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/03/28/what-to-buy-at-dollar-tree-spring-edition/feed/011548Isaac’s Birth Storyhttp://simplyrebekah.com/2017/03/06/isaacs-birth-story/
http://simplyrebekah.com/2017/03/06/isaacs-birth-story/#commentsMon, 06 Mar 2017 20:23:38 +0000http://simplyrebekah.com/?p=11514Our newest little bundle of joy was born on January 25th, but Isaac’s birth story starts way before that. Low Fluid When Grace was born in 2009, I was induced because the amniotic fluid level was dangerously low. Her birth ended up being a natural and fast delivery. When Noah was born in 2012, we […]

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Since I had a history of low amniotic fluid with both of my previous babies, we started monitoring Isaac’s fluid levels at 36 weeks. Thankfully, the levels were fine, but we continued to keep an eye on things by having some extra ultrasounds in January.

The danger of low amniotic fluid is real. When the levels get too low, there is less cushion around the baby, which increases the risk of the umbilical cord getting pinched. A pinched cord can be a life or death situation. I was at a higher risk of having a stillbirth. It took a lot of mental strength and prayer for me to get through those last weeks of pregnancy.

VBAC

I wanted to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), and I was told that I was an excellent candidate. However, I was always a bit nervous about how low amniotic fluid could complicate having a VBAC. I was told that being induced was more complicated with a VBAC, and I feared that low fluid levels would require another induction.

As we continued to monitor my fluid levels, I prayed for labor to start spontaneously. I was hoping to have a natural and uncomplicated birth experience. The closer I got to my due date, the more anxious I felt. I was nervous that the amniotic fluid levels were going to drop too low before I would go into labor on my own.

On January 24th I headed into the hospital to have another non-stress test and ultrasound to check the fluid levels. The fluid levels had dropped since my last ultrasound on January 20th.

The doctor and midwife on call recommended that we should go ahead with an induction since the levels were dropping and I was already a week past my due date. I spent the night in the hospital for monitoring, and we started the induction the next morning.

We used a cook balloon to manually dilate my cervix and hopefully push me into labor. It caused a lot of cramping. I felt a lot of pressure, and I even had contractions. It was not a pleasant experience.

Ten hours later, I was not in labor. The doctor removed the balloon, and checked to see if I had dilated. I hadn’t made any progress at all. Zero progress.

The doctor recommended that we stop the induction attempt and have a c-section. It was a discouraging moment. During my entire pregnancy, I had hoped to avoid another c-section. I cried, but there was also a bit of relief.

Nate and I had mixed feelings about being induced as a VBAC because two weeks before my delivery, a woman’s uterus ruptured during an induced VBAC at my hospital. The entire department was on edge and nervous about inducing VBACs after that terrifying experience. The staff was very open and honest with us about their experience with the ruptured uterus and how that event was affecting their decisions with my pregnancy. Everyone was feeling very cautious and uneasy.

It is easy to hear the risks of your uterus rupturing and think, “Oh, that won’t happen to me. The odds are in my favor!” But when your midwives can look you in the eye and tell you first hand how horrible the experience was for everyone just two weeks earlier, it is a lot harder to feel confident with your odds.

As someone who leans towards the natural and crunchy side of life, I really wanted a VBAC. I wanted my birth experience to be as natural as possible. I am prone to think that doctors push women into unnecessary c-sections, and I didn’t want their fear to be my fear. Yet labor wasn’t starting. It was time to let go of my desire for a natural birth.

C-Section

My doctor was incredibly kind and supportive. She asked me, “What can we do to make this experience better for you?” It was probably the kindest thing she could done for me.

With tears in my eyes, I went through all of the things from my previous c-section that I was unhappy with and expressed all of my hopes for how things could be better this time around. Each one of my concerns was addressed with kindness and respect.

Things really were different this time around. In the operating room, I felt more calm and comfortable. I knew what to expect, which made it much easier. Plus, the staff was more attentive to my needs and emotions than I experienced last time.

It is a boy!

We didn’t know the gender ahead of time, and I requested that Nate would be the one to tell me if it was a boy or a girl. He had announced the gender with our other children, and I wanted to hear it from him this time also. When our baby was born, Nate said, “Hi buddy!” and I knew that it was a boy. The delight and love in Nate’s voice was absolutely precious.

Our little boy was taken to the side to be cleaned, weighed, and measured. Then the nurses brought him over to me so I could hold skin-to-skin while the surgeon finished the surgery. I held him for awhile, but then I started to feel really nauseous. I was worried I would throw up, so Nate held him for the remainder of the surgery.

Naming our Baby

While Nate was holding our little boy, he looked at me and said, “Rebekah, I think his name is Isaac.” This was shocking to me because…

Nate and I had settled on two boy names and two girl names. A few days beforehand we made our final pick for each gender. Isaac was not one of the boy names we had settled on!

Right away when Isaac was born, we told the nurses the boy name we had previously decided on and we started calling our baby that name. For about 20 minutes, our little one was named something else! I was shocked when Nate suggested Isaac because it was a name I always loved, but he had shot it down ever since I was pregnant with Grace.

Nate said that when he looked at his little boy, he knew that the original name was wrong and he was meant to be called Isaac. It took me awhile to get over the shock. I needed some time to process it all. We didn’t officially name him until the next morning. (For now, Nate and I have decided not to share Isaac’s “original” name.)

God’s Plan

Before I was taken to my recovery room, the surgeon told us that my uterus had been extremely thin. She described it like a window and said you could see right through it. She was tremendously glad we had gone ahead with the c-section because my uterus could have easily ruptured during labor.

It had felt like God was ignoring my prayers. I had prayed for labor to start spontaneously. It didn’t. I prayed that my birth would be uncomplicated and free of interventions. It wasn’t. However, God knew that my uterus was thin. A natural delivery, even without an induction, could have caused my uterus to rupture. Isaac’s birth was an excellent reminder to us that God’s ways are always best.

Isaac’s birth story isn’t the natural VBAC I had wanted, but it was the best c-section experience I could have hoped for. I was able to do skin-to-skin in the operating room and the entire time I was in recovery. Isaac never left my side. He was rooting from the moment he was born, and we were able to breastfeed right away. Isaac is healthy and adorable.

The entire family is completely in love.

Have you had a similar birth experience? I would love to hear about it!

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