A 30 something Perspective on “Date Nights” with Kids.

A 30 something Perspective on “Date Nights” with Kids.

Hey, I am Katie. Here’s a little about me and my family. I am the wife of a wonderful man that I met in Alabama. We met in 2006 and have been married for over 5 years. We have a beautiful little girl that is 18 months and are expecting another one in March! Boy, will we have our hands full. I have a Master’s degree in Social Work with an emphasis on children and families. I have had a passion for children since I can remember.

My hopes for this blog is to share some of my insights into family and marriage and honestly just to have a little fun sharing life experiences! I promise you one thing; I will always be honest. I know I am “new” to marriage and being a mother, but I know enough to know its HARD work. And with hard work comes good and bad times. Its important to be able to share those experiences and learn from each other. So I vow not to sugar coat my experiences with you. We get enough of that on Facebook

I hope you enjoy it!

DATING YOUR SPOUSE AFTER CHILDREN:

I have to be honest, my husband and I didn’t have set date nights before having children. We went places together and that was just considered our date I suppose. Looking back, I would change that and continue the tradition of intentional date nights after we got married. But things change when you live together. It’s easy to fall into convenient habits.

Since we have had our daughter date nights have become much more intentional. It’s not quite as easy to jump in the car and go or lay and talk with each other with a needy little one tagging along all the time. Thankfully, we have been very blessed to have my mother insist on providing us with date nights each time she comes to visit. Otherwise, we would have fallen into the dateless trap that so many couples fall into after children.

As I reflect on how our relationship has changed I am amazed at how our dates have changed. Dates that once ended well in to the morning hours, even if it was just from seeing a midnight showing at theaters, now end by 10 or 11 in the evening. Our dates do seem more rushed as though there is a curfew we must keep now that we are parents. Let’s be honest, it’s exhausting caring for small people! And I am not a morning person, so the thought of staying up all night and then having to get up and care for our daughter is anxiety provoking to me. This is why the intentionality of “Date Night” is so important.

Through the years I have heard several “rules” for dating as a couple with children. But the one habit I have seen most in couples is using their date nights as time to catch up on errands.

If that’s you: STOP!

What kind of date is that?!?!? Don’t get me wrong, I get the pull. It’s the perfect child free time to quickly get things done, but let’s be honest with ourselves… If your spouse had suggested a date consisting of a dinner and some grocery shopping before you were married, I’m not so sure you would have made it to another date much less gotten married…. 😉

This is time for you to be together doing things you enjoy, rekindling romance, or getting to know each other again without children around. Not the time to catch up on your “To Do” lists. I try my hardest to protect our date nights, because I believe in the importance of that time with my husband as HUSBAND and WIFE. Not mom and dad or managing partners of the household.

To protect this time with my husband and my goal is to try new things on date night and step outside the “dinner and a movie” box. I have to say, I am looking forward to trying things with my husband again, because I have realized that’s when I allow God to open my eyes a little more and I rediscover all the things that led me to fall in love with my husband in the first place. So I challenge you to intentionally plan your next date and leave the “Honey Do” lists at home.

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