Foreword: While it would be fine and dandy if everyone could just like what they like without hassle, and that the genre of metal would conform to the music instead of the music conforming to descriptions of the genre, the truth is, that’s never gonna happen. The idea of what bands are “better than others” and such is talked about on a subconscious level all the time in metal circles. What bands are universally hated, universally loved, to the point that if one smart ass punk tries to be the minority and says “hey, I don’t think these guys are (that great/that bad)”, fanboys will come out of the wood work and throttle you (who I have dubbed and will refer to as the "True Metal Police,” or TMP). So, I have decided to submit for discussion, a “Heavy metal tier list.” Kinda like the Super Smash Bros. Brawl tier list on the smash boards for the tourney fags. Each tier represents how high of a standing each band has within not only metal circles, but with outsiders as well. But because this list is based on the subjective silliness of street credibility, it’s the self-important metal police who have the final say in who’s hot and who’s not. Each band in each tier is in order from most relevant to least relevant (depending on the tier determines whether or not they are good or bad), so if Death is above Dio, you can bet your Hammer of Thor that Death is regarded higher by metal circles than Dio. This list is meant to be somewhat comprehensive, informative, and humorus. So while I expect this to start violent and angry discussion in which at least three people are banned (myself excluded of course ), that doesn’t mean you can’t get a chuckle or two.

One thing to note is yes, this is more biased to the 80’s than any other decade. Most of the people who were around then do in fact think this was the golden age of metal. Hell for some of you old farts around here, this might be trip through high school and various arguments you may have had with each other And while Nirvana did not actually wipe everything out in 1992, the fact is, that’s when most people who grew up with metal got old, got married, got fired, and in general just stopped caring about the newer bands. So the true metal bands of the 90’s great as they may be, just won’t be as regarded highly as Maiden or Priest. People are fucking weird you know?

Anyways, without further ado...

The Heavy Metal tier list:

I. The Golden Gods (if you don’t at least respect these bands, you are not metal)

Black Sabbath (Ozzy)
Metallica
Iron Maiden
Judas Priest

II. Top Tier (bands who if you declare out loud that they suck, the True Metal Police will be up your ass)

Motorhead
Megadeth
Slayer
Black Sabbath (Dio)
Dio
Mercyful Fate

III. Manowar
Manowar *

*Manowar get their own tier because of split fan reaction. On the one hand you have people that sing their praises as the best ever, and that if you don’t like them “you aren’t metal” but on the other side, you have people who think they are the worst band ever, and those people will say that if you do like them, then “you aren’t metal.”

IV. 2nd Tier (bands who if you declare out loud that they suck, the TMP will not care)

*These bands are a bit more digestable, and therefore acceptable by the mainstream. You’ve probably had the conversation with someone where you tell them you like heavy metal, and then the other person says, “oh that’s cool, I like Zeppelin, AC/DC, etc.” This basically says to the metal fan “I like the sound of heavy rock music, but I’m way too cool to be caught listening to Slayer, so I’ll just stick with the pedestrian stuff.” For whatever reason, these bands just aren’t that “metal” in the eyes of the true fans (not necessarily the TMP). Not saying that these aren’t great bands, but they just not metal.

Va. Top tier Extreme bands *

Death
Celtic Frost
Bathory
Hellhammer
Carcass
Sepultura (1985-1991)

Vb. Middle Tier extreme bands

At The Gates
In Flames (early)
Possessed
Kreator
Immortal
Mayhem
Morbid Angel
Cannibal Corpse (nobody in their right mind will admit out loud these guys are better than anyone)

*Most people write off bands who sing in an aggressive a-melodic style and whose music is the least accessible of all. This tier represents all the quality bands, but they’re just “too heavy” for the casual folks.

VI. Bands that wrote great songs, but ruined it for everyone *

Pantera
Rage Against The Machine

* Most bands today either sound like 4th rate RATM or Pantera ripoffs, and the majority retard fans wouldn’t have it any other way. Pantera and Rage are both quality bands, but let’s face it, if they never existed, modern metal would be completely different today.

VII. Middle tier (Bands that would be enforced by TMP as bands that are “Cool to like” but nobody important has heard of them)

A few things: yeah, this is definitely biased against modern metal, which I don't think is necessarily fair, but given the purposes of this system, I can understand it. Also, if Tier VII exists, I think it could have dozens if not, indeed, hundreds of bands that Decibel Magazine and the internet would place there. And some of your "fruity fairy power metal" bands aren't really even power metal, so I dunno about that. Otherwise, this took some serious thought and boredom, so I'll give kudos where kudos are due. :rocker:

JRA

03-21-2009 02:46 PM

[QUOTE=DethMaiden;205994]A few things: yeah, this is definitely biased against modern metal, which I don't think is necessarily fair, but given the purposes of this system, I can understand it. Also, if Tier VII exists, I think it could have dozens if not, indeed, hundreds of bands that Decibel Magazine and the internet would place there. And some of your "fruity fairy power metal" bands aren't really even power metal, so I dunno about that. Otherwise, this took some serious thought and boredom, so I'll give kudos where kudos are due. :rocker:[/QUOTE]

As unfair as it seems, I did say this list was "somewhat comprehensive" as in "I want this to be big and long, but not big and long to the point that nobody would want to read it." Which is exactly what would happen if I tried to include everybody.

One thing I should mention is this tier list occurred to me on the fly while I was working in my dad's yard today. I didn't want to give it too much time or extensive thought beyond a couple of hours, because by then it would take too much time which I don't have to post it.

overkiller

03-21-2009 03:13 PM

I don't get it.

JRA

03-21-2009 03:15 PM

[QUOTE=overkiller;205997]I don't get it.[/QUOTE]

Fans are basically always bickering every day on what's "true metal," what bands most fans hate (for whatever reason), what bands you will get shit for saying you don't like them, and I tried to throw something together that explains that.

I suppose you'd understand it more if you saw the Super Smash Bros. Brawl Tier list (or other tier lists of fighting video games).

mankvill

03-21-2009 03:38 PM

BORIS AND HIGH ON FIRE RULE!

:flame::finger2:

rjturtle9

03-21-2009 04:00 PM

haha that list is comedy win. kudos for coming up with something like that.

TonyD

03-21-2009 04:18 PM

I hope that Mastodon and Opeth in VIII are part of the joke.

Either way, since you put Motley Crue in tier II, most of the list is void.

ChildrenofSodom

03-21-2009 05:41 PM

This is the gayest thing ever. Stick to the Peter North pictures, kid.

Div

03-21-2009 06:14 PM

get metallica the fuck out of top tier

other than that id agree with alot of those rankings as far as metal is concerned. i wouldnt have made so many categories tho.

EDIT: personally, id only put two bands/musicians in god tier as far as my personal favorites go. but i still agree with yours.