Sex is Probably the Answer You’re Looking For

What’s the one thing can you do:

That will elevate your mood?
Add an extra pep in your step?
Make you feel invincible?
Open your heart in unimaginable ways?
Relax you faster and deeper then a massage?
Help you love and accept your body?
Ease the tension throughout your mind/body/soul?
Deepen all kinds of relationships?
Bring more happiness into your life?

Sex.

Yes. S – E -X is the answer.

How many of you are cringing at reading the word sex? Notice the internal dialogue in your head, dictating all the reasons why this is ridiculous. Unfortunately the sad fact is more people are feeling shamed right now thinking about sex than those whose ears have perked up at the idea of learning more about sex as a fabulous tool. Do you know the top three things that stress us out in life? Sex/money/work. Best part if we re-align ourselves with the “sex” part the other two usually magically disappear.

Often my boudoir clients tell me the photos are a “gift” for a partner. I suggest maybe the true gift is for them; most say they hadn’t thought of it that way. The idea that the experience itself will inspire them and the photos will be a true testament of the sexy, empowered and beautiful women they are usually hasn’t even crossed their minds. They’ve gotten stuck like most of us, on the idea they wanted to please someone else first. This is our problem.

We are always looking to “please” someone else. Why?

When does it feel like you’ve got life by the balls and you’re enjoying every minute? I’m guessing when you feel confident, empowered, beautiful, whole, fulfilled. Do you think filling someone else’s boots is going to make you feel that way? Nope. Nada. Never. Not in a million years.

The only one who can make you feel freaking fabulous inside and out is you and guess where that begins; your vagina….

As an Avenger of Sexiness and huge supporter of loving yourself inside and out I decided to explore this subject a little more with a 8 week course “The Well F**ked Woman”, for myself and all the women who struggle with “sex”. Summed up in two words.. F**king amazing!

Coles’ Notes:

Sex heals – it was the Taoist who first started using sexual positions to cure malaise in women over 6000 years ago.

Everyone has the ability to orgasm.. #1 reason why you can’t – stress, #2 the belief you can’t have pleasure (i.e. its all in your head.. Note: the only time this is an excuse is if there is fact been some sexual trauma and then this should be treated by a professional)

Sex is about pleasure, plain and simple – whether you’re solo or partnered, this should be about enjoying all that your body has to offer. Think of your vagina as a Lite Brite (remember that light board as a kid?). There are 81 trigger spots in your vagina alone that can trigger immense pleasure, releasing endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin that allows you to relax, release and revel in a deeper connection.

Your vagina is a powerhouse – the world record goes to a woman who can hold a 35 lb weight with her vagina. For those who practice yoga or pilates, you will understand this concept that our power comes from our pelvic floor and vagina. The stronger we are in this region, the taller we can stand and the more supported we are in our bodies, as well as helping with incontinence issues and being able to enjoy sex even more.

You can literally “fuck the shit” right out of your head.. -Have a bad day? Stressed out? When we get vulnerable and let go of the worry during sex, we can literally make it disappear. This means being fully and completely present with our partner, focusing on us only or ourselves. What would you rather do, mediate for 30 minutes or enjoy unadulterated pleasure?

Sex takes practice – we can all get out of touch with our bodies, partner or just ourselves as life rolls by. That doesn’t mean we can’t get back that “loving feeling”.

Stop looking at sex as if it’s a chore and something you are doing to “please” someone else and look at it as the best thing you can do for yourself.

Bonus: Sex can burn up to 250 calories and hour!

Homework:

For the next 7 days, enjoy the pleasure of sex. No excuses! This can be with a partner or solo. It doesn’t matter, trust me. This is a game changer.

Pay attention to your body, whether you are in love with it or hate it right now.. Show it some love. Get comfortable with it for at least 7 days. Spend a little extra time in the shower and show your girls some love, let your thighs, butt, arms, shoulders etc. know you love them. If it feels weird and your head says “this is a stupid idea” then please keep doing it till it doesn’t feel so awkward anymore.

Imagine the power you would gain if you could have the best sex of your life? Have full body orgasms? Keep the lights on and feel okay? This is all about you and no one else. Your partner is just going to enjoy the benefits of having someone who feels confident, sexy and loved, inside and out.

Need a kick start? Sleep on the opposite side of the bed. Role-play with a partner. Pick up a new toy. Have sex in the middle of the day or another time that seems crazy!

I suspect after a few days you will notice things don’t irk you as much, you feel lighter on your feet, the chatter in your head isn’t quite as loud, decisions don’t seem so complex. You’ll feel more creative and lastly, you’ll start seeing yourself with a new lens!

So what are you waiting for?

All photos by Shannon Nicholson

I'm Shannon Nicholson; a natural born rescuer and Jill of all trades. I rescue women from the demons of half-dones and I cant's so they can FINALLY launch, build, create and feel like the rock-star they know they are!

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I'm Shannon Nicholson; a natural born rescuer and Jill of all trades. I rescue women from the demons of half-dones and I cant's so they can FINALLY launch, build, create and feel like the rock-star they know they are!