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Author's nightmare:

»Dear Mister Gregory Pamblechook,

we regret to inform you that we are not at present interested in publishing this work of yours (or any other). We are, however, grateful for your manuscript, which through its singularly... creative use of the English language has spiced up many a dull coffee break. Please except the following as a token of gratitude: »Moste Basic English Grammar« by Sir Archibald Stickler, »Foreigners' Favourite Dumb Mistakes«, by Uriah Simpleton.