Thursday, April 13, 2006

Taggy Taggerson and The Tagbots

Tagged, by Mrs. Chicky. Everyone else is doing it, right? (But if everyone else was jumping off of a bridge, sweetie...?) Must conform!

So. Six sorta weird, but completely random and mostly uninteresting things about me:1) I was often told, when I was young, that I looked like Dana Plato. You know, that chick from Diff’rent Strokes who ended up a gun-toting drug addict? And died? That one. The resemblance stopped being interesting ‘round about the time she robbed the video store at gunpoint. But I hung onto those bangs for a long time.

2) I make up voices for my cats and have long, intense conversations with them about philosophy, rap music and reality TV shows, in which I use my own voice and then articulate their responses in the made-up voices. This has trailed off somewhat since the birth of WonderBaby, who is a more active conversational partner.

3) Oh, hey, funny story: I was once held against my will for two weeks on a Greek island by a weirdo who claimed to be in love with me. It ended when I was able to pick a lock to get into a room with a telephone and call my parents, who contacted the Greek authorities and Interpol. Then I escaped out a window, fled to safe-housing arranged by Interpol and was later smuggled onto a ferry in the middle of the night. I am not making this up.

4) I lived in Spain from the time I was 19 until I was 21, having bailed on University to become an autodidact and write the Great Canadian Novel (which, as it happened, I had no interest in writing in Canada.) I sat around parks and smoky bars in Barcelona writing angsty crap about how my Spanish boyfriend was a cheating liar, but gave that up after a while to become a triple-threat performer (Sing! Dance! Act!) in a touring bilingual musical theater troupe. I’m not making this up, either.

5) I have never actually broken up with a boyfriend. I ended relationships, but always did so passively-aggressively, by compelling them to break up with me (techniques ranged from the classic ‘distancing’ move – never returning phone calls – to arranging for them to be seduced while drunk by a slutty friend so that I could later have an outraged freak-out about their indiscretion and never see them again. Yes, I really did that.)

6) That cycle of evil ended - as did the more troubling cycle of evil that was my predilection for angsty writing – when I was barely into my twenties, around the time that I returned to Canada from Spain and met the future Bad Father. We met young and married young - does that count as weird? - and I am beyond grateful to God/the gods/Fortuna for having arranged that I grow up, into adulthood, with the most wonderful man in the world. Which reminds me…

The best, not-so-weird thing?I have only been, and will only be, in love once. The day that I met the future Bad Father, I fell in love for the first and last time. And? Out of that love came WonderBaby. So…

7) I’m blessed.

(Or, to put it differently? Things turned out a hell of a lot better for me than they did for Dana Plato.)

---------So, I must now tag 6 unsuspecting bloggers.... hmm.... some of you have probably been tagged already, but what the hell...

If you're reading this, and I haven't tagged you, and you haven't been tagged yet by someone else, consider yourself tagged. But note well: if you choose to accept this mission, the RULES, below, apply to you.

So, yeah, rules. 'Cause you know that you're not really having fun until someone busts out some RULES:

1.) Tell us six weird things about yourself. (I broke this rule. Why? Because it's my blog and sometimes I like to go a little W.I.L.D. here.)2.) Come back here and let me know when you've completed the tag so that I can come over and giggle/chortle/comment/etc.3.) Tag 6 more bloggers. (OK, I broke this rule, too. I got carried away. It's tag, dudes!)4.) Let those people know that you've tagged them.

You can't just drop #3 on us and then walk away. You are a blog tease! You must post more! How on earth can I remotely touch your tag? I live in the sticks, for crying out loud. I'm gonna have to get me some wine....helps to get my creative juices flowing.

Here I was, feeling all bad and stuff about tagging you with a Meme and you go and drop some of those beauts on us. How do you go from Dana Plato bangs to being held hostage in Greece? Did you still have the bangs at the time? I won't rest until I know.

I guess that I'll have to do a post about the Greece thing. It's really not all that interesting - I wasn't snatched off the street or anything, just the result of some bad decisions. I'd met Creepy Creepopolous in Amsterdam - wasn't obviously creepy and anyway, I thought he was *gay* - and kept in touch over the following year. When I ended up between paying gigs the next summer, he said that he could get me a job on Naxos (where his family lived and ran a number of businesses, incuding the island radio station). When I got there, there was no job, my passport got locked away in the same room as the telephone, and I acquired a thuggy Greek 'bodyguard' who got between me and any and all English-speaking persons. Creepy declared his love and spent days insisting that I would really be happy living on Naxos rather than in Barcelona and that I just needed to give it a chance and refused to let me a) contact anybody, and b) leave. The lock-picking, window-leaping escape I noted above; I'll save the descriptives for another day. Nothing happened to Creepy that I know of: the Greek authorities weren't interested in anything other than ensuring that a 'tourist' be able to get off the island; Interpol couldn't really do anything without the co-operation of the Greeks. I was told that it was almost certainly a sex-trade slavery thing, but I really think that Creepy was just that - creepy. And lonely.

I don't think it's weird to have only been in love once! I think that's just how it is- you only fall in REAL love once. Oh, and I'm accepting the tagging, but I have to have some time to do it! It will be up tomorrow- I swear! LOL.

I hope you were able to get drunk! I haven't been buzzin and happy in a while...you're making me yearn LOL. BTW, I posted my 6 things- I was tagged by a few people- just wanted to let you know I've joined the fun!