Apart from the supposedly creepy tinkly bell melody at the start sounding more like an ice-cream van jingle, Sweet Dreams is actually really good. Next up, Supernova with its special guest star… oh bloody hell, it’s that man again. I’m sure there are songs in the chart that Kanye West doesn’t appear on, but it’s hard work finding them.

Get Shaky sounds like it should be a film in which Shakin’ Stevens goes on a violent rampage around Newcastle, dropping dodgy businessmen off the top of car parks. It’s a pity the song doesn’t match up to that mental image, but you can’t have everything. Meanwhile, Amelle of Sugababes Mark III helps Tinchy Stryder gain another chart-topper. It’s not bad, actually.

Little Boots really should have had loads more hit singles than she has. Remedy’s amazing, but New In Town and Shake deserved to do equally well. Honestly, Great Britain, sort it out. Behind Closed Doors, on the other hand, wants to be edgy and show a darker side to Peter Andre’s music, but it just doesn’t have the courage of its convictions and falls far short. I really hope the remixes for Ready For The Weekend were good, because the single version is a massive step backwards from I’m Not Alone.

Outta Here is wholly unremarkable, as too is David Guetta’s new single. By the way, see if you can guess which title refers to the original version and which refers to the version played on the radio.