When I have too much to say, I have no listener. It becomes immensely difficult for a talkative me to keep my thoughts to myself. I have to express it and this happens to be an ideal platform for me to do so.

Who is an independent woman?

Disclaimer: This is
just my opinion, and you’re free to agree or disagree with me :)

Recently, I saw a message on my whatsapp group that read –

“Beneath every strong, independent woman lies a broken
little girl who had to learn how to get back up & to never depend on anyone”.

I saw the same
picture on facebook too. Many women appreciated the message, but that got me
thinking – does it mean that a woman becomes independent only if someone hurts
her ( in most cases, a man becomes the villain). I always wonder why people just generalize.

For women like me, independence just comes naturally. No one
has hurt us, neither did we depend on anyone or trust someone so much that we became
independent overnight. Our parents just treated us like a human being (with
some additional conditions like no roaming out after certain time, no solo
trips etc). But overall, we were taught to chase our dreams, and live
independently just like a man does. So when I see these preachy messages on
independent women, I almost mentally kill those people who post such stuff.

So let us just dissect this independent women theory and
find out who is this independent woman.

She is an Independent Woman

An independent woman is:

Someone
who does not ask for special favors: Shecan swim in the ‘big bad corporate world’ just like a man. She is
aware of the glass ceiling, and she will work hard to break it. She does not whine
about – just because I am a woman, my ideas are thrashed etc. She will work
hard to make her ideas work. Also unlike what was shown in YFilms’ ‘Man’s world’
episode, an independent woman won’t run home when she gets her periods. She works
(with or without her monthly troubles) as hard as any human being would do.

Someone who is just another human being:

-she doesn’t care if you do not accompany her to
the cafeteria or to the movie (she loves her own company)

-she doesn’t care if a man doesn’t open the door
or pull back a chair for her (she has two hands, she can do it herself)

-she doesn’t
care if a man of her father’s age sits in the ladies seat

-neither
does she mind if some guy forgets about chivalry and stuffs his plate first.

She doesn’t think too high of herself.
She looks at herself as just another human being.

Not just
financially independent but mentally strong too: One of the most common
myths about an independent woman is that she earns well and is hence
independent. That’s not the case. Even a widowed, illiterate woman becomes
independent when she stops sympathizing for herself and starts living in the
big bad world. So no matter how much you ridicule Nirupa Roy, you can call her
an example of independent woman because she single-handedly raised her sons in
Deewar. There are several women like her in real life and they are the apt
definition for independent women.

So people, stop putting women on a pedestal.
As Salman bhai said ‘mujh par ek ehsaan karna, ki mujhpar koi ehsaan na karna’.
We don’t want any extra respect vespect from anyone. Just treat us like a
normal human being. If we are truly independent, we will survive.

P.S.: If
you really want to show some respect to women – just stop abusing people by
using women’s anatomy as abuses. Things can be said without abusing people –
try doing that!

About me

Hi, i am Gayathri Vishwanathan. No not even distantly related to Vishwanathan Anand.
Wanted to be a journalist, but ended up in a usual corporate job.
Mundane activities of life take up my time, and when I reach my saturation point, I try to calm myself either by listening to music or through writing.
Let me warn you, my blogs are nothing like what others write, it is boring and sometimes tiresome (not to forget the thousands of spelling and grammatical errors I make), however I write with the intention to express myself and to strike a personal chord with everyone who reads this blog.
Hope to see you here baar baar lagataar :)