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Saturday, May 17, 2014

This former Disney tweener who had a boob job when she was still on her show recently replaced her saline with silicone and went a size bigger. That acting thing is not working any longer and the former A lister has decided that Playboy might be just the boost she needs. Her sister was turned down for Playboy multiple times.

I am a boob expert. Hilary's are real. Enty is a boob novice. He revealed Anne Hathaway for a boob job. I've closely monitored Anne's boobs since "Havoc." No surgery. In fact. they've shrunk a little. :(

Engagement Ring Head is pretty good. I don't know if it is worth it, but pretty good.

Hilary needs 2-3 months on the Adderall to get into P-Boy shape. I would recommend faking some leaked nudes though, so she can have some faux modesty and do the interview circuit playing the victim. THEN, when the bump fades, do a movie w/ tits or a nude spread somewhere with a "everyone's already seen it, so I might as well get paid" attitude.

Maybe if they didn't photoshop everybody into oblivion, making every single woman look exactly the same, they'd have more readers. Their articles were good back in the day. Haven't even seen an issue in years, because my husband doesn't have a subscription anymore.

Hailey is hustling. I think she's now going for a lifestyle dealio like Jessica Alba. She has a cookbook out now and is maybe trying to take another lane in addition to acting. Do you wanna eat Chimichangas all year? Vote for Summer!!

Kylie got her boobs while underage, and Kim did at a very early age (she has very obvious ones, and her defense vs. implant allegations was to show pics from years back, supposedly 14, where her rack looked the same).

When I was 7 (back in 1970), my friends and I found a huge Playboy stash out on the curb waiting for the trashman. We ended up taking the pile of magazines away so we could look through them in one of their father's garages. The only thing that confused me were the naughty comics showing doggystyle sex with overweight housewives.

Women back then were more natural. I'm sad for the guys who think fake tits and shaved pubes are a turn on. They obviously have no idea what they're missing.

Didn't the main character in 50 Shades of WD's Favorite Book do that double crap, triple crap thing all the time? (Why, yes, she did!) So you have at least one reason to admire E.L. James: she wrote a primer for people who don't know how to express themselves!

Ok I'm late to the party but I'm kind of shocked that I haven't found any gossip articles about The Hils that see her divorce as suspicious and fake?

Rough timeline of events:

1. Hils has kid and disappears 2. Hils gets rejected for seats at Top Shop show cause she's no one3. HILS IS GETTING DIVORCED YALL!!4. Hilary Duff signs a record contract. For literally no reason. No one cared about her name until the divorce. Just let that ruminate. Someone. Gave. Her. A. Record. Deal. WHY???4. But wait! The divorce is amicable and friendly that they still hang out all the time5. CUE MORE PRESS. Will they are won't they? Awwww it's love but it's so hard to make it work but we're rooting for them.

Did I miss something? Why does every news and gossip site question if KK forgot too take a shit today and that's why her ass looks so much bigger but no one blinks an eye at Hilary Duff's fake divorce.

Nope. Hillary's breasts are NOT real. (Neither are mine, so I say this without judgment.) I hadn't noticed she went bigger, though. Everyone who gets surgery before the age of 22 legally has to get saline (or if you got the augmentation years ago when silicone was off the market in the US), but saline is positively dreadful, so everyone gets them swapped out for silicone eventually. Also, they only last about ten years and have to be replaced. I think she just upgraded to silicone as a routine improvement, and Enty's making a story out of it.

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