Mariners right-hander Hisashi Iwakuma took the mound last night against the Minnesota Twins for the fifth time in his career and for the fifth time in his career he defeated them without allowing an earned run.

Iwakuma tossed seven shutout innings in a 2-0 victory, striking out 10 and walking zero while allowing four hits. And he’s now 5-0 with a 0.00 ERA in five starts and 33.2 innings versus Minnesota.

During that 33.2-inning stretch he’s struck out 34 of 132 batters while issuing just eight walks and the Twins have hit .165 with a .198 slugging percentage and .427 OPS off Iwakuma.

Or, put another way: Iwakuma has a 2.89 ERA for his career. If you remove his dominance of the Twins from those totals his career ERA rises to 3.13.

I want to see Iwakuma sell the team to Mark Cuban, who can then trade it to Scrooge McLoria for the Feesh. I have nothing against Minneapolitans besides their pallor, but Scrooge deserves to freeze his ass orf.