Transformers: Revenge of the Fallenexists only to fuel Michael Bay‘s U. S. Military and Gigantic Explosion masturbatory fantasies.Â It is an exercise in excess gone horribly wrong.Â Maybe Michael Bay just wanted to create a Frat Boy Drinking Game movie, “Every time you see an explosion or cleavage, take a drink!” So, maybe he succeeded in what he set out to do.Â However, Mr. Bay, I’ve cut you slack numerous times, but I would like my 2 AND A HALF HOURS of my life back.

Slashfilm has done the research and concluded that Michael Bay’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the Worst-Reviewed-Highest-Grossing-Movie of all time.

So far, $600 million has been collected from masses for this mindless suck-fest.Â Granted, a lot of these were pre-sold tickets and the marketing for the film was pretty damn awesome.

However, once reviews came in from critics and geeks alike….things didn’t look so good.Â But, bad word of mouth hasn’t stopped this cash cow of a crappy movie.Â Thanks everyone for empowering and thus inflating Michael Bay’s ego even more.

It’s official: X-men Origins: Wolverine is the 2nd best reviewed Blockbuster of the Summer (behind Star Trek, of course).

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is getting a BEATING by almost everyone who’s seen it.Â Both critics and fanboys alike would love to crucify Michael Bay.Â It is currently resting at 20% on Rottentomatoes.com, as compared to 2007′s Transformers which settled at 57%.

Head over to Rotten Tomatoes to read all the reviews.Â I’m actually surprised that it’s being hated on so much.Â The effects look amazing, however it looks like Michael Bay’s horrible sense of humor and bloated running time ruin the proceedings.

Basically, the Fallen is to them what cavemen, Neanderthals were to us… He’s the ancestor, the first version of this exoskeleton. He’s the first version of this sentient being. That’s what he is. He’s the origins of what they came from. [The relationship between him and Megatron is] the Emperor and Darth Vader – it’s that kind of situation… He’s the main villain, so two and two makes four. He’s a badass. He has to be. The Fallen, his transportation method is really unlike any other robot’s transportation method. The way he fights is also very different. It’s spectacular, visually stunning, really incredible.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen (no pun intended).Â Stan Bush is responsible for the awesome 80s anthem from the 1986 animated Transformers: The Movie called “The Touch.” It’s awesome 80s cheese.Â I love it (view the original video after the jump).Â In order to try and cash in on Transformers, Stan Bush decided he’d remake the song.Â I dare you to make it past the horrible rapping.

Michael Bay has posted 2 new pictures of Michael Bay on www.michaelbay.com.Â Just thought that was amusing.Â No new photos of robots or special effects.Â Instead he’s giving us pictures of himself.Â You gotta love the Michael Bay ego.