The First Ever Live-Tweeted Breakup

By
Zoe Ruderman

Nov 09, 2011

Live tweeting your own breakup: in bad taste. Live tweeting someone else's breakup: OK, also in bad taste, but highly fascinating. Which is why we can't really hate on Andy Boyle, the Boston man who found himself at a fast food joint next to a young couple on the verge of calling it quits and decided to share the experience with everyone via Twitter.

The full live tweet session is below. We have to warn you that some of it is pretty depressing and the guy seems like a total jerk. Our advice to this woman, based on the minimal information we have: You could do a lot better.

These kids must be 21, tops. His main complaint? She doesn't clean the dishes when his mom asks her to.

She ran out crying. He chased her. They are now back. He is saying he will change. We, the patrons of this restaurant, know better.

She is sobbing quite loud. He gets up and walks out. She stays. We all feel quite awkward. Do we console her? No one does anything.

He is back. She is telling him she didn't cheat. He doesn't believe her. He says he loves her anyway. He sits. We are more calm.

Another unrelated couple, who has been giving me the "can you believe this?" look, is hugging each other in response to this drama.

"Baby," he says. "I only say these things because I want you to be a better wife." The restaurant does not believe him.

She thinks it is unfair that he gets to play video games and she has to clean when "his mother" tells her. We agree.

"If you loved me," he says, "you would want me to be happy." We notice his argument is not swaying her.

"I don't want to hear it!" she shouts. The tables are turned: She is now accusing him of lying, of what we do not know.

"Why did you even marry me?" he asks. "Because I loved you," she responds. "Loved me?" We all notice the past tense.

Apparently they both think the other cheated because of missed phone calls on occasion.

"A big lie and a small lie are the same thing," he says. "And I told you not to lie!"

"I am a gentleman," he says. She stands up at his audacity and states out the window. Someone's phone on speaker is blocking their chat.

"Go!" she says. "Run away like a scared little boy!" He continues sitting, eating his fries.

"Let's go outside," she says. "Why? Let's do this here. Everyone needs to know what kind of a wife you are."

He is now critiquing how she dressed at a party recently. "I like dressing like that," she says. "I get to decide how you dress," he says.

He is now swearing a lot, mentioning something about cutting his hand in the dishwasher (?) and that's why he shouldn't clean dishes.

"It was only one time!" he admits. "I only did one time, too!" she says. "That doesn't make us even."

"You want to bring up the slap? I'll bring up everything. It wasn't a punch. If it was, I would've left," he says.

Just so those are aware, he is not being physically imposing or threatening violence. I would call the cops if that was the case.

"It's kind of weird having to talk to you about this here," she says. He laughs. She sort of laughs.

"I understand that some of this is on me," he says. People at a nearby table actively laugh after this.

He brings up something about having a baby. She runs out. He empties the tray and follows.

She comes back in. She apologizes. He shrugs. They walk into the vestibule and he sorta hugs her. They depart.

Their chair is now empty, just like the love in their marriage. With this, I depart.

That was incredibly depressing. I may now drink whiskey and use a laser pointer with @TKirkTheCat to cheer me up.

What's your take on the couple's fight? Also, does this make you wonder if anyone has ever live tweeted about something you were doing or saying? Have you ever secretly live tweeted anything like this?