The dread Horned Knight (no relation to the dread Pirate Roberts). All shall tremble before him!

Never seen unmasked, the origins of the Horned Knight are shrouded in mystery. Some say he was horribly maimed in the Crusades, and the mask hides his disfigurement. Some say he isn't human at all, but the spawn of a witch and a demon. Some say he's merely an old Fright Knight with an Islander's headdress.

After a hard day of killing and raping, looting and pillaging, a man needs a place to relax, a place to put his feet up in his favorite chair.

A place to savor a well-earned flagon of mead, a glass of wine, or a goblet brimming with the blood of one's fallen enemies.

A place to kick back and watch the game... Or if the advent of television is still some centuries away, a place to watch a gruesome fight to the death in the Pit.

In this corner, wearing brown pants and red sleeves, weighing -- what, a few grams? -- your challenger, Einar Bjornson! For years a loyal henchman of the Horned Knight, Bjornson recently overstepped the bounds of the lord/vassal relationship by making one too many "horny night" jokes.

And in this corner, wearing dark gray pants and blue sleeves, weighing the same, your champion, Alric "The Beast" Falkengruber! Undefeated (duh) in 17 pit duels, Falkengruber was captured alive by the Horned Knight and locked in the dungeon, allowed out only to fight in the Pit. As soon as he kills his opponent, back to the dungeon he goes.

On the Horned Knight's signal, the guards throw the two combatants in, doing their best to make sure they land awkwardly, not on their feet.

It may or may not be armed combat -- it all depends on the Horned Knight's mood. Today, he feels like a knife fight. Once the fighters hit the ground, there's a mad scramble for the weapons.

Knives in hand, the fun begins. Life in the Pit tends to be how some stodgy old Victorian summed up life in the Stone Age: nasty, brutish, and short.

Each time Falkengruber is to be tossed into the Pit, he vows to give himself up and end his life of misery and torture. But the instant he hits that bloodsoaked sand, the survival instinct kicks in.

Every now and then at the conclusion of an armed match, the winner will leap out and attack his captors. The Horned Knight doesn't mind -- on the contrary, he looks forward to these occasional fits of doomed valor. It's more exciting than a flea-flicker or a fake punt.

And works even less often.

In medieval times, losing your head could lead to you literally losing your head.

Remember, kids: if you post blurry, poorly-photographed MOCs online, or backstories without the accompanying Lego® creation, the Horned Knight will get you!

It has everything: snide comments, movie references (I caught that) gore, a nice (or mean, you pick) back story, and good building! Great job. I particularly love the chair, and the pattern in the cylinders. Keep up the great work!

Well, not sure how this one got past me without reviewing it - I must be slacking. However, I tracked it down as I do my somewhat regular rounds of my favourite builders. Beautiful job on the back wall and the throne; the pit is also very clever. Of course the comment about blurry photos should be heeded by all, as it does make it hard to appreciate the creation. Lee.

That's the awesomest throne room I've seen in a while! I'm going to agree with that last bit of commentary; it bugs me when people do that, too. By the way, I counted 319 cylinders on the fancy wall behind the throne, 216 of which are red. Am I right?