Old School Dating Tips to Win Her Heart

Dating tends to have its trends that come and go. Some of the old school tips are a bit outdated and don’t directly apply anymore, but they’re willing to take a look at anyway. Here are some of the best old school dating tips that might help you win her heart.

Formally ask her out.

It used to be a dating tip for women that we shouldn’t accept a date for the following day or something, to give the impression that we were busy even if we just planned on staying home to set our hair. But that was also back in the days where you had to catch her on the landline to ask her out for a date. The communication styles have changed with our access to cell phones and everything else we’ve got, but the intention to formally ask her out is still a nice one.

These days it’s so easy to ask someone to “hang” last minute that it can actually be hard to tell when people are asking us out on a date or just want to be friends. We’re also aware that make it feel like less pressure for you when you are asking us out, since you can play it either way depending on how we respond to your advances.

But that’s also taking the easy way out and it can present all kinds of mixed communications, which can end up ruining the whole thing before it even gets started. Instead of leaving the options open just be brave and ask her out on a date so that she has a real opportunity to say yes or no.

If she says no then she just saved you the trouble of wasting time and money on a girl who isn’t interested in you. If she says yes then you don’t have to spend the entire date wondering if you’re actually on a date and whether or not there might be a kiss at the end.

Talk a lot.

Once you get this girl on a real date, embrace the sort of talking that was possible before we had our phones as disruptions. Putting your phone away is always a great tip since it cuts down those distractions by a lot. But more than that you should also be making an effort to talk to her about things that really matter about life. Get to the core meaningful things as opposed to just skimming the surface and talking pop culture.

That stuff is great and it makes up a huge part of the landscape that we currently live in, but it’s also the changeable stuff. The stuff that will always matter are our values and experiences and hopes and dreams. Talking about that stuff is a great way to figure out whether you’re truly well matched and if so it’s pretty bonding.

Reach out to her after the date.

If you enjoyed your first date with a woman you should absolutely reach out to her and say so. I can’t even tell you how much we love that when we also had a great time. It might be super annoying if we didn’t actually have a good time because it sort of puts the pressure on the fact that we need to figure out how to let you don’t sooner or later, but if we like you we will be thrilled to hear from you anytime. You can text when you get home from the date, or even call the next day.

This is also the perfect time to ask her out on the next date. Don’t assume that just because you guys had an awesome time together that she’s yours from here on out. Whether or not we’re actually being pursued by someone else you should assume that we’re in demand and try to set up another date within the next few days to keep the momentum going.

Pick us up and walk us home.

The first date can be a little different depending on how you met the woman…if it was online she might prefer that you meet out the first time around. But when she trusts you to pick her up at her home you should totally do it. We like to be picked up, and walked home, and anything else that involves an aspect of you caring about our whereabouts and safety.

We don’t want you to worry about us or assume that we cant handle these things ourselves, but it’s pretty sweet when you wait in the driveway to make sure that we got into the house okay before you drive off.

Be a gentleman about sex.

You don’t have to be all gentleman, but when it comes to finding the right timing for sex it can be a nice turn of events to act all respectful about it. You don’t want to wait too long to do it, but you don’t need to rush it either. Some women are used to men getting to it as quickly as possible so it can be sort of refreshing when someone is patient and makes it clear that sex is only part of what they want from us.

Make an effort.

Making an effort of any kind is greatly appreciated. That means keeping up with your appearance, handling life, making it known that you’re truly interested in us. When you’re making an effort is makes it obvious that you respect yourself and are intentional about the other people that you let into your life as well. We like to feel like we were chosen out of many options, not like we’re one of five Tinder dates this week. That might be true, but we don’t necessarily need to know it.

Be honest about how you feel.

When dating was more formal people probably didn’t waste as much time or play as many games with people who they didn’t really want. Things just moved faster in certain ways, so there wasn’t time for that otherwise you might end up married to the wrong gal. But these days there are so many different versions and levels of dating that talking about feelings can seem intense and dramatic, but that’s a bit problematic. That leaves a lot of people unsure about where they stand and a lot of people unsure about what they actually want.

Talking about how you feel honestly gives you the opportunity to actually process those feelings, and it also allows us to know whether we should keep investing time in your or not. It’s fair to want whatever version of a relationship there is to want, but it’s crucial to make sure that you and the other person that you’re doing it with are truly on the same page.

Say what you want and mean what you say, and then be willing to deal with what back from the other people. There’s an element of that which is sort of simplifying, but at the same time it has the potential to make relationships a lot more dynamic and fun.

Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer, who utilizes as much wit and personal anecdote as possible across a variety of genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Keep up with her on her social media @KateFerg