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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Journal entries

I was looking through my old journals and thought I'd post a few of my better entries from the past few years. Here's an article I wrote on November 19, 2003:

Stunning discovery made on the week of November 9th: Microsoft Word Office is proven to be actually useful By Geustab Herrinker

The long disputed Microsoft Word Office Assistant debate has come to an alarming climax, when presidential candidate Benjamin Berkompas found the Office Assistant useful for finding out how to use superscript. Stunned reporters asked Berkompas what he formerly thought of the Office Assistant and how his opinion has changed. He responded, “For as long as I have used Microsoft Word, I have never found a use for the Assistant. It was like a thorn in my side, every time he appeared. However, with the recent breakthrough, my opinion has been altered, and I now realize the enormous impact this discovery could have on society… this little fellow is the window into the future, and the mirror of the past. It’s tools like this that will make our country, and give it hope in the years to come. As president, I will uphold the good and worthy policies of government, and tear down the bad, creating a free country, which will work to enhance education through computer technology…” Anti-Microsoft Word Office Assistant radicals are taken aback with Benjamin’s sudden change of mind. This disclosure could either make or break his campaign. Police are concerned that rioting may break out in some of the major cities at this news.

Just to clarify, I still generally dislike the Office Assistant, I am not running for president, and I would never really say that!