Holy shit, you guys, I can't remember going into a Bills regular season so stoked about their chances to Make Some Noise since... well, certainly since the expiration date on my collectable box of Flutie Flakes!
Yes, it's been a long playoff drought. The Drought can now legally drive and get

The scene: Century Link field, home of the Seattle Seahawks, in the not-too-distant future. Pirate Sloth is taking his seat, and Doktor Zymm sits down next to him. She is fiddling with one of her omnipresent gadgets.
Pirate Sloth: Arr, what that be, Doktor?
Doktor Zymm: It ist eine Portable Unit To

As the resident [DFO] Trump Supporter (suck it libs), I feel it's important to regularly look back and review what THE LIBERAL FAKE NEWS MEDIA has predicted for the BLUE COLLAR REDBIRDS! So, before looking ahead at this year's great preview, let's start with some excerpts from this failing site's

Greetings. For this preview we went down below. Way down below. I mean, WAYYYYYY way down below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-7IHOXkiV8
…Sure. Let's go with that.
In actuality, we've given Cerberus three steaks (for each of his mouths to feed on so maybe he'll let us back through) and called upon the ferryman Charon for his

Welcome to the 2017 preview for the Los Angeles Rams. I'm sure you've been looking forward to this like Carroll Rosenbloom looked forward to boat rides, but the site's sponsors (MySpace and Circuit City) require we do a preview for each NFL team, and despite appearances to the contrary, the

(Puts on Vince Mancini hat, dusts off Armond White’s seminal work, “Ethnic Frisson: Pretentiously Overbearing Pontification in Mid-Pre-Post-Modern Cinematic TruthBombing”)
I am continually fascinated by Detroit in the context of movies.
It’s now a tired cliché of dime-store film school refugees and bored-as-shit-on-a-film-junket directors to talk about how New York City is

Above: Your author, 5 p.m. Wednesday. Three hours after finding out he missed his deadline.
There’s a good reason I’m late with this. A very good reason I’m putting a quarter-ass effort into this half-ass preview. Much like the team I'm writing about, I forgot to care. I need to be

Banner image via MMQB.com
Voiceover by the Ghost of John Facenda: "October 16th 2016. The Minnesota Vikings enter their bye week with a record of 5-0. Built on the strength of a furious defense and a ball control offense, the Vikings surge to the top of every prognosticators Power Rankings and the

Today is a weird day. Not just in the DFO Clubhouse either. All across America today, PERHAPS EVEN RIGHT NOW, the moon is blocking out the sun.
What greater metaphor for the 2017 Bears Football Season than that?! Abandon all hope ye who enter this season as Bears fans. In these

For your 2017 Indianapolis Colts preview, I had an imaginary conversion with myself. Enjoy.
So the Colts, huh. Didn't they used to be good?
The Indianapolis Colts, né Baltimore Colts, have quite a storied history. The team began as the Miami Seahawks of the All America Football Conference in 1946 and were

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We are The Commentist Party, refugees from another site that have banded together to create a safe place to hang out. This is a nice site, a place for civil discourse and dick jokes. If you want to stay at a fun joint with liveblogs during football games and a great community, we’re ecstatic to have you. Unfortunately, if you leave offensive material in the comments, we’ll have to send you home. Commenting here is a privilege, not a right.

The name of the Washington Football Team is a grating slur that pisses us off every time we see it. So now, they are the Washington [*Redacteds] in the comments.

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