Wake up, Honey! He's just not into you.

Wake up, Honey! He’s just not into you.

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Lights On?

So here we are again. You’ve gotten yourself into a pickle — again. Another complicated guy, another complicated relationship. You met, you liked each other, you clicked, you’ve been seeing each other for a while now, you’re into him – but is he into you?

Are we really going to have this conversation again?

You like him. You’re infatuated with him and you’re beginning to develop deeper feelings. And you can’t seem to concentrate on anything but him – when he’s going to come in contact with you, what he’ll say, what you’ll respond.

You’re sitting there, over the phone, jumping every time it pings –or when it’s been silent for over a minute you’re checking every damn app on it– and not letting it out of your hands so that you don’t miss his text or his call.

First off, you’re killing your battery, sweetheart. And do you know how much a new battery costs? Is he worth the 50 bucks?

Secondly, you think he’s sitting there, at home or at work, phone tightly clutched between his hands, waiting for you to text or call him? Do you have the insane notion in your head that he’s got some kind of strategy in mind? Or do you think that he’s contemplating the content of that so desired communication?

Well, hold on tight cause I’ve got a bit of a wrecking ball for that pretty picture your painting in your head.

He doesn’t care. He’s not going to call. He’s not going to text you. He’s not lining out some game plan of mega proportions. In fact, he’s probably even forgotten about you today and that’s why he hasn’t texted. There are things that are more important than you, you know.

Don’t you have anything better with your time? Of course you do. So, why aren’t you doing it? Why are you torturing your pretty little head with what he’s doing? You think he’s doing the same? If he were we wouldn’t be talking about it; you’d be staring at your phone and giggling, typing away and paying no attention to me at all.

It’s quite simple, really: a guy –or for that matter, any person, male or female, and in any kind of relationship– will show their interest; if there is any.

There’s a reason I keep using the word “interest” and I do not delve deeper into the vast spectrum of human emotion – because it’s the most vague positive emotion there is, the most basic one. The one from which all others begin. And if that’s not there, well…

No meteor fell on him, no tragic event has marked his day, he is not lost at sea and he is not in grave danger. He has not lost his phone, his fingers and voice are quite well and he doesn’t have amnesia.

He just doesn’t give a shit.

You don’t believe me? That’s fine. I know that it’s difficult to believe something you don’t want to believe.

Alright, go ahead, text him first –again– if you think that it might change something. But don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Because he just may respond to your text. And he might just be dripping honey when he does. But you’re the one that initiated it. And if you think about it, is sentiment that is instigated, really true sentiment at all?

If he’s interested he’ll show it. If he cares he’ll call. If he’s in love you’ll know it; and if he doesn’t do any of the above, well, hate to break to you, but there’s nothing there. You can’t force it, you can’t coerce it and you can only kid yourself for so long. And if he’s only interested in you when it’s convenient or when he wants something, then I think you’ve got your answer there as well. Relationships are meant to be fun, but I doubt you want to be a pass-time.

And, what the hell, I’ll give him the benefit of a doubt. Let’s say he’s not just an asshole with no notion of the need of communication. Lets say he likes you too.

Just not in the same way, or as much. He may have fun with you and like you when you’re together but he may not feel the need to text and call all the time. He may be interested in a different kind, a more “loose” kind, of relationship with you. Or, he may very well be up to his neck in work and not have time to chat and giggle with you all the time. Maybe this is normal for him. There are a million possibilities. If you like him so much why don’t you try not freaking and just let it play out?

Though, if I’m being honest (I can only play the devil’s advocate for so long!), if you can find time for him in your busy schedule, then he can find time for you – if he wants to that is.

Not to be vulgar but, all humans use the bathroom at least once a day; he could text you from there and you’d never know the difference. There’s nothing demeaning with you being his “toilet text”; it’s still a text and it still shows interest. So, no, there really is no excuse.

For the really extreme cases out there –because I know that you are in the most need of a bucket of cold water in the face to wake you up– if he doesn’t even pick up the phone, if he doesn’t see your text until two days later, and when he does, he doesn’t respond, if you’re not even his “toilet text”, well, I don’t see why we’re even having this conversation; his silence is answer enough, I think.

You’re not fifteen, he probably isn’t either. Talk to him. Tell him. He may just be oblivious or he might consider it normal. If even then you don’t see some kind of change, then you’ve really got to give it up.

Like I said, is it worth even the 50 bucks you’ll spend on a new battery?

Born in the West, raised in the East. Coffee Addict. Sarcastic, arrogant, contradictive, tenacious and obstinate. I always read the last page of a book first. I secretly love romances but mock them relentlessly. Creature of habit. People watcher. A master at playing ‘the devil’s advocate’; I can justify almost anything. Words I live by: "We shall see", "Believe in dreams; they do come true.", "Doubt everything", "Everyone deserves a second chance", "It depends." and "The eyes Chico, they never lie".