Chaldean/ white baby, lots of problems!

bellabeebs wrote:

My boyfriends family is from Iraq, and very old school. They don't want our daughter to have their last name, they don't want anything to do with her or me. They have never met me. All because I am white, and we're not married. It's so hurtful!

I'm due in 6 weeks. Does anyone else have a baby that's mixed like that? I don't have the slightest idea what she'll look like.

First of all, congratulations on the baby! My DH and I are still ttc our first. I too am curious to see what our child would look like. I say just enjoy this time. Every mixed child is unique. As for his family, I've been there. I understand how hurtful their actions can be. Try not to let it get to you. In their culture, family means everything. Going against their parents is very shameful. Your relationship will be a very bumpy ride if your BF is the type to give in to them. If you and your BF are happy together and he's got your back then I think you shouldn't worry. If you want your child to have his last name then just do it. They can't stop you. They may even surprise you once baby is born. They're upset now but children can make even the hardest people soft. GL

c

capricornpia

May I ask why you haven't gotten married? His family will not take you seriously in the least unless you are married to be honest - and it's likely your bf is aware of this.

What does he have to say about this whole situation?

P

Peroline

I have an 18 month old with an Arab and we're not married. You shouldn't get married if you don't want to. You don't wanna get divorced later cause it didn't work out. Personally, I would gauge how involved he's been (despite his family) and name my baby off that. If he's been supportive and wants to help you raise him, go for it. If he's been leaning towards his parents' ideas...maybe just cut him out. It's your baby, do what feels right in the long run.

Yea my boyfriend is plenty aware of how his family views the situation. He has been extremely supportive after I made it clear abortion would never be an option. His family knows he will not be walking away from our daughter or me and will be sticking it out. We haven't married because honestly we don't have the money. I also didn't want to rush into it. Our daughter was not planned and will come before our 1 year anniversary...

Forget his family. You and him are creating your own family and you both shouldn't let them influence your life. It's not your daughters fault of being born into a Iraqi father and white mother. Enjoy your pregnancy and let them be

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