Jesus, Charles Manson, and mean women

Publish Date:

Feb 20, 2013

By Rick Fairless

DEAR GRANDMA AND GRANDPA,
I hope y’all are fine up there in Heaven. We are surviving OK down here in Dallas.

I know it must be wonderful up there in Heaven, and I hope to be reunited with y’all someday… in the distant future. But sometimes I think that I may be up for Judgment Day sooner rather than later, because I am losing my mind down here.

Owning your own business is the most blissful thing in the world, but at the same time it’s also the most infuriating. I love it when I can concentrate on building and customizing motorcycles. I love it when I am creating cool new parts. I love it when the sun is shining, and my store and bar are full of customers spending money.

Most of the time my employees are a huge help to me, but then sometimes they ain't worth killing.

I love it when my bike salespeople are going nuts selling motorcycles. I love it when things are running smoothly and all my employees are doing what I pay them to do.

Unfortunately, because of this sh*t economy, it seems like those days are getting fewer and fewer.

Most of the time my employees are a huge help to me, but then sometimes they ain’t worth killing. As y’all know, I am a pretty simpleminded boy and I have a simple way of approaching employees. If I ask them to do something a certain way or I ask them get something done, then I should be able to forget about it and consider it done, am I right?

I mean, if they think they have a better way of doing something, then I want to hear it. But if I disagree, then do it my way and shut the… well, they just need to shut up and get back to work. I don’t want to have to explain my reasoning to all the employees.

Lately I have had some employee theft and I am trying to figure out who it is that’s stealing from me. When I do, I’ll hang ‘em from a tree on my property for everybody to see. This is Texas, by God, and it’s legal to hang thieves here (well, at least it ought to be legal).

Employees don’t tell themselves they’re stealing; they justify it their stupid brains. They think like this: I’m not stealing this wheel. Rick owes me this and more. I’m underpaid and overworked, so if I take something, then I’m not stealing — I’m taking what is owed me! Yeah, well, that’s bullsh*it thinking right there. I’m on the hunt.

WHAT’S ‘IN’ FOR BAGGERS
We are keeping really busy down here customizing lots of Harleys and Victorys. When a cat buys a bike, then his or her next step is to personalize their new bike by customizing it.

Everybody wants their bike to be different from their buddy’s bike. The bagger craze is big right now, and we are in it with both feet. The tall front wheel is the “in” thing to do on a bagger. To do that sometimes requires some frame modifications. We built a frame table to make sure all of our work is absolutely perfect. (Continued)