Tomorrow I turn 30. In anticipation of this, my brain is a muddled mass of thoughts. Thoughts like:

- Thank fuck that’s over.

- Oh shit, that’s over!

- My hair’s started turning grey before I can grow a beard. Doesn’t that violate some sort of fundamental law of physics?

- What the hell is a Gucci Gang?! Should I be doing something to protect myself from it? Or should I be signing up?

- When do I start being an adult? I haven’t got my license in the mail yet.

- I wonder if all those things they say about the human metabolism in the post-30 years are true… They weren’t kidding about the hangovers so…

More often than not though, turning 30 has me coming back to a question that is as trivial as it is strangely potent: Does that make me a Millennial? I never know. It’s an odd label, and to be honest I’m not about to spend the last day of my twenties trying to unpack the ramifications of it. What I am more than happy to do instead is listen to some Millennials complain about other people complaining about them. Maybe that’ll help me figure it out. Here is a Reddit thread of just exactly that, and below are some highlights:

Oh yeah. That ‘no problem’/’you’re welcome’ thing is apparently a real thing. As per Tumblr:

You almost never hear a Millennial say “you’re welcome.” At least not when someone thanks them. It just isn’t done. Not because Millenials are ingrates lacking all manners, but because the polite response is “No problem.” Millennials only use “you’re welcome” sarcastically when they haven’t been thanked or when something has been taken from/done to them without their consent. It’s a phrase that’s used to point out someone else’s rudeness. A Millenial would typically be fairly uncomfortable saying “you’re welcome” as an acknowledgement of genuine thanks because the phrase is only ever used disengenuously.