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Author
Topic: Unprotected anal - exposure risks? (Read 4045 times)

**** I know the choices I made were bad ones but I can't change what I did in the past only what I do in the future.****

9 weeks ago I had my first man / man experience and am scared I may have contracted HIV. The guy I was with and I discussed at length his HIV status and he told me he was negative. I told him I was as well. The only test I ever had was for life insurance 5 months ago and that was negative. I had no other sexual encounters between my test and the night 8 weeks ago.

We engaged in oral sex, no ejaculation, and unprotected anal sex (insertive on my part), no ejaculation, then mutual jo. The day following the we spoke again about his HIV status and he assured me he was HIV -. Three days following that night I became very nauseous and unable to eat. I didn't have a full blown fever but did experience hot flashes and cold sweats on occasion and a sore throat, not too many body aches and no diarrhea. They symptoms lasted for 4 days or so and have gone away.

Two weeks after the encounter I had an HIV test and it was negative, the nurse suggested I get tested again in 3 months which is mid December. I'm wondering if a test now, 9 weeks after would give me some sort of relief from the anxiety I'm experiencing.

I have no real reason to believe the guy is not being honest with me about his status but I can't help but think I caught something.

Please let me know my risk and again, anything you can tell me would be very helpful and I appreciate it very much.

First of all, I agree with the suggestion that you re-test at 13 weeks. That's in line with the recommendation of the CDC for a reliable testing point.

The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure to the HIV virus. Given that you had a single possible exposure in which you were the insertive partner, the odds are very much in your favor against transmission having occured. The risk is less for the insertive partner, but nevertheless there is some risk and HIV status is never something to guess about.

You can have all the sex you want with other men. The main thing to remember is that when it comes to intercourse, the insertive partner must always be wearing a latex condom. They provide very effective protection against HIV.

It's your responsibility to protect your own health. So while it maybe reassuring to have heard what the other fellow told you, the only test result that matters is your own. It doesn't matter how nice the other person is or how great he looks or anything else. A condom is a must for intercourse and that's true for both vaginal and anal. Period. Everytime. No exceptions until such time as you may sometime find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have tested negative together.

One last thing is the matter of you using the term "clean" to describe the other guy. You need to know that's offensive in relation to conversation about HIV in particular and STDs in general. It implies that someone who's HIV positive is unclean or dirty. I don't think you intended to convey that so just remember in the future to use either HIV positive or negative or some similarly non-judgemental term when referring to HIV status.

Good luck with your test. I do expect you will come through this ok, but you do need to get into the habit of always, ALWAYS using a condom.

I've got one more question. I was feeling so anxious over the Thanksgiving holiday and since then that I decided to get another oral quick antibody test. It's been 10 1/2 weeks since possible exposure and the test today was negative. I know I'm not out of the woods and still have some time to stew over the mistake I made.

Only one thing confused me, the nurse that administered the test today mentioned to me that 95% of people will test positive by 3 months but there are still that 5% may take as long as 6 months. Everything I've read here says 3 months or 13 weeks.

I am not qualified to discuss seroconversion and such, but I can tell you something about your "stewing". Stop! We all make mistakes. Quit beating yourself up over it and learn from it. It looks like you will remain negative. So learn from the experience and next time use a condom so you won't have to go through all this again. If you choose not to use a condom then be prepared for all the feelings you are experiencing to resurface.Cheers,Woods

Logged

"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it." Nelson Mandela

I hate to take time away from the other posts as there is really nothing I can do for another week and a half.....but, if my test last week, at 10 1/2 weeks, was negative is there any information as the chances that the results may change at 13 week?

Thanks again and I am sorry if I'm taking time away from anybody else who needs advice.

If your ten and a half week test is negative, you're more likely to find a lottery ticket lying in the gutter outside your house that turns out to be a $10,000,000 winner. Seriously. It's that unlikely to change.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I'm getting ready to go for another test but had a quick question. I'll be 15 1/2 weeks after the possible exposure, I find myself more anxious than when I went at 10 1/2 weeks. Anyway, I've been on antibiotics for the last ten days and wondered if they have the chance for affecting the results.

I just got back from a Oral Quick test at the 16th week mark, it was negative!!

I wanted to thank everybody for their kind words and support, it's really helpful when you have nowhere else to turn, thanks again!!

Two things, the nurse still suggested I get tested at 6 months and I just wanted to get your thoughts on that.

Also, I wish I had handled one thing a little differently -- I was so quick to suspect the guy I was with was positive and that through my constant implying that he wasn't being honest....I think I lost a potentially great friend and it cost me 4 months of anxiety.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for intercourse and you will continue to avoid hiv infection.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts