Green with Penis Envy

If Sigmund Freud were here, he would look at me and say “dude, you are rocking some solid meat bro,“ you know, in an Austrian accent of course. I guess effectively sounding like Arnold Schwarzenegger as he said it.

Go ahead, take a second, and do your best Schwarzenegger voice. I know I did.

The truth of the matter is, my dick’s average sized. Technically a tad better than the average American male but not substantially so. It’s a beautiful penis though. Well circumcised and not all two-toned weird multicolored like an exotic snake.

I’ll like to call him Sir Porkington of Essex County, for no particular reason.

I actually am very lucky I suppose because I can pound a woman in her A spot and O spot, hitting both sides of the cervix and catapulting her into orgasm as my eyes are an inch away from hers and I see the spastic jolt flood over her.

That’s all I ever have really been after.

But would I rather have a big old giant porn star dick like the ones above? Goddamn right I would. That’s like asking a 32C if she’d like to be a 32DD.

As irony would have it, the female at the receiving end of Sir Porkington of Essex County says it is “really big” (she is lying or naive), it still hurts (that’s because I know to make it hurt, sweetheart), and she doesn’t want my hypothetical monster Cockzilla because she loves to force a deepthroat and wants anal to not require psychological therapy afterward. I retort in my best sarcastic voice, “ambition, my dear, ambition. I’m sure we can make it fit.”

But the real bottom line is, I don’t really give a fuck either way. I’d hate to be tiny, I guess. I just love wiping her out and I can do that each and every time, with the skills to forget the bills.

Her. At the end. On her back. Unable to move. Cum pouring out of her throbbing pussy as she says “oh fuck! Fuck! How the fuck?! How the fuck do you know how to fuck me like that?!” Five minutes later she still hasn’t moved. This is what I am after. That’s all I really want.

If I couldn’t hear and see that. I’d be devastated. I’d just rather do it with a behemoth flesh rocket.

Oh, if you really want to see this penis I describe, my KIK username is NeverGonnaFuckingHappen