"Jesse is like family," one employee tells People. "He's just a righteous guy. If I have a personal problem, he'll sit and talk to me. Not once have I felt uncomfortable with him ... He's just a sweet guy. Hearing all this stuff about him is just sad. I don't believe any of it."

(Maybe this isn’t a good time to bring up the fact...

... that James has faced accusations of sexual harassment in the workplace. Or maybe it is a good time. Either way, there was a harassment allegation; it has since been dismissed. Not to be confused with the harassment allegation that led to a reported settlement.)

Finally, we get to James himself. He is outraged, outraged, that his mistresses (who, at this hour, total four) are leaking details of their liaisons. Take photographer Brigitte Daguerre, who has alleged only a brief affair but quite a number of text messages. Another mistress, Melissa Smith, also shared James’ alleged texts with the planet, triggering the wrath of the Vanilla Gorilla. Smith reportedly got another text from James just this week with this scolding message: "I'm angry at you and disappointed you'd do this."

That’s right. Jesse James. Scolding his mistresses. For having sex with him and then talking about it. The mind, it's boggled.

But for members of Team Jesse, I guess it’s expected of their dear leader.