Hey girl. You have a lot on your mind. You Graduated with you BA degree just a year ago and you still haven’t gotten a job. It’s hard out there but keep your head up. You will find your place soon. Just try to remember to be creative with your degree. You don’t have to be a teacher but you have to apply what you’ve learned to work somewhere you can be happy.

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So I am keeping tally. We are 2 child support payments behind. A bounced check from babysitting two weeks ago (and fees) and this week is more babysitting money and a child support payment.

A total of: $850.00 is owed to me as of Friday. I’m guessing I will not see half that.

Meanwhile, he is selling the house. And I (the idiot that I am) look up the listing. I felt that feeling I have become all too used to in the past year. The one where I have my heart torn out of my chest. I scroll through the photos of the place I put my blood sweat and tears into, the place I always thought would be where my life would be. Each photo was harder than the last. The walls were painted different, there is new furniture… wait. NEW FURNITURE?!?!?! Continue reading “Why Do I Feel Like The Bad Guy?”

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The stress of this is getting to me. I just lost some pretty large chunks of hair. Luckily I have really thick hair so you can’t see the bald spots.

I am still angry. I keep crying over almost nothing. He was able to turn off his feelings. But I unfortunately feel everything. It’s deep. It’s raw. My core is exposed and I have no way of closing myself off. Continue reading “Don’t Tell Me How To Act or Feel.”