I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while now. My internet was down :(

With the economy the way it is, it’s hard to be giving sometimes. So I’m going to tell a tale,( based on a real live event) about a young maiden who gives in the time of needing.

Once apon a time, there was a princess who had to go to the market to pick up a few things. While standing in line to purchase some things to have around the palace, she noticed the person in front of her giving back some of the things they had. Wondering why, she listened in and overheard that the people in front of her couldn’t afford all of these things. Being the good princess that she was, she quietly and quickly paid for them in hopes that nobody would notice and the people’s dignity and pride would not be damaged. With this act, the family was given peace of mind for at least a couple of weeks, knowing that there would be food on the table for their children.

Since the internet is a horrible and scary place for first and last names, this fair maiden will go nameless.

You know those days when you wake up and you just feel all the things that you have to get done all around you. Slowly swallowing all other thoughts and motivations? I had one today, I call those days “Mental Health” days. This is when you stay home and get all of the things done that have been eating your other thoughts. Things like:

1.) Laundry – simple enough, yet when the pile of cloths is almost as tall as you it’s a little overwhelming
2.) Dishes – My father is remodeling our kitchen and the simplest of things like doing the dishes makes it look cleaner than it really is at the moment.
3.) Trash – Taking the trash to the street is something I forget almost every week. I know this because I hear about it for hours when Thursday rolls around
4.) Clean Bedroom- This was the biggest obstacle to overcome on my list. I meant business with this task; under the bed, in cy closets and through my drawers.
5.) Vacuum- This was especially important because of the remodeling going on in the kitchen. If one room is remodeled, the whole house goes down with it.
6.) Wash the dog- Poor puppy…
7.) Buy Zach’s birthday gift! – UGH his b day is in a day and I finally got my finances together enough to get him a decent present.
8.) Clean bathroom- I mean really scrub — the tub — the sink — the counter the whole nine yards.

I would have came home from school, took two glaces at my list and laughed. From there I would grab a seat on the couch and let the feelings swallow my thoughts; each minute that ticked by sending me further and further into maddness. Adn for as dramatic as THAT all sounds, I’m glad I took a mental health day.

Today was the best day I’ve had in weeks. I slept in late and still had enough time to get ready and go to school, and (here’s the kicker) I got asked to prom by the best person in the best way imaginable. Here’s how it went:

I woke up this morning VERY late and had to drive myself to school instead of the usual carpool (sorry environment) anyway… I called my love to see where he was in the building and he tells me not to go into the school by means of our usual route. So I went the other way, to tired to argue. As the day went on, I could tell something was up because Zachary kept making odd requests like: “QUICK! close your eyes and don’t open them until I say” and “don’t go into the prop room”. Silly things. Anyways by the end of the day I was anxious beyond belief to find out what was going on. So the last bell rings for everyone to go home and Zachary says: “We have to go somewhere”. And he leads me to the Auditorium. (Our second hour and where we had spent most of our time for the past week) When we get to the lobby, he has me close my eyes and then he leads me onto the stage. All the sudden I hear music and I open my eyes to see 8 little boxes on some platforms :) These 8 boxes are carved and painted black with different words saying “Will You Go To Prom With Me?” The words were illuminated with rope lights so the letters were highlighted with reds and greens. Above me were spinning disco lights that made circles dance all around, and as he turned me to him to retrieve his answer I gave him a small yes, with a small tear of happiness streaming down my face.

It’s amazing how much magic can still be in a relationship after almost two years have gone by. He’s still my one and only prince charming, and I’m still living in a fairytale everytime I see him.

It snowed today. That sentence alone isn’t all that interesting but this next one will spice things up. It’s April 6th. I suppose that’s what I get for living in this area. I think I could count the sunny days we get a year on my two hands. Everything is cold and tense; I feel it in everyone’s expression. The day felt like it took an eternity to end and I feel so unmotivated and drained. Spring break is in about three days. I have no real plans other than fitting in as many bon fires as you can in a week.

This year everything feels bittersweet. Though I am glad it’s spring break soon; this is the last spring break I’m going to have with the people I went to high school with. Who knows where everyone is going to move and if keeping in touch via myspace or texting will be enough. I know that everyone goes through this; but that doesn’t make it any less personal to every single person who goes through it. I feel like everyone else in the class of 2009 knows exactly what they’re doing and has everything all under control except for me.I have all the people in the world to help me; My sister who is currently going through college– my parents– my Aunt Regina who is also going through college. I have all of the resources I need to get started, I’m just unsure of how to use them. It’s like walking into a gym having all the machines you need and can’t figure out how to position your body to make the work out effective. I feel lost and alone. Normally I’m very sure of myself and it turns my world upsidown knowing that I’m sliding in the middle of a transition. It makes me irritable and tired. I can’t wait for summer.. but I don’t want high school to be over.

Normally people start a “first post” with a ..”hello my name is..” or something a little more cheesy like identifying it as a first post. I however will not allow myself to fall into those categories. I would like to kick off this blog with a rant. If you knew me this would be shocking… ha. I recently joined tech. Again, for those of you that know me are now staring at their computer screens in awe. Tech is something that I have been fighting for about two years. It sucked all of my boyfriend’s time and energy and left me sitting at home on the couch eating gram crackers and chocolate frosting. But as time went on I figured.. if you can’t beat em’ join em’. So I did. and I just finished my first real show. It was time consuming and tiring; but I find myself wishing tomorrow was a fourth show.. and for Tuesday to be a fifth. I made so many new friends and had some life changing experiences. Throughout the show I realized how strong I really am, how much stress and physical labor I could endure before passing out and even though I may never admit this to my boyfriend, it’s one of the smartest decisions I’ve made for myself. You don’t know discipline until you’ve worked with smith.

With my senior year coming to an end, I have some tough decisions to make. Where I’m going to move, how in the hell I’m going to pay for college and what am I going to do this summer. I just hope that the college friends gained over the years will cancel out the high school friends lost. With the knowledge of my elders and peers, I hope I can figure all of this out. Right now my head is spinning in about 1,000 different direction and all I can do is breath and watch the weight everyone else has fall on me.