Friday, January 31, 2014

Outbursts of a Bookaholic

In my day
dreams in which I imagine myself in a number of scenarios (Including the one in
bed with Katrina), the one which is feel is achievable (In real life) is to
write a book review. I am often surprised to find people around me who don’t
read much and whenever some guy wants to take up a new book I am usually the
guy who they ask for a few comments first. But my reading is not structured, its pretty eclectic, so people often frown when they find out that I have not read this famous blah
blah author.

I often
think(read daydream) how good it would be if I quit my job and just make my living writing reviews, because I read
on an average 3 to 4 books per week. But who has the energy to bring that
change, recently a bug of short stories has made home in my wobbled brain, and talking about brains;
It was only yesterday when my sister called me up and said that she saw a brain of an addled person in
her lab. I asked how you differentiate by seeing a person’s brain whether it’s
addled or normal. She said that if your frontal lobe is a bit deformed you are
abnormal and if it’s highly convoluted
like a kernel of Walnut you are smart or a criminal. I wish I could know how my
frontal lobe looks (without suicide of course). Let’s see as Agnishikha climbs
up the ladder of her chosen profession, she may find an answer to this request
, but by that time I believe the world
would have gotten the answer (as my flat mates got it). Let’s leave that to posterity

(In between
writing I have received a mail about the open complaints against my name, let
it remain unread for I have something very interesting to share and a life
of my own too)

So, let’s come back to short stories. Well
frankly, the stories with the most surprising endings belong to the two authors
who have been at least incarcerated twice by the judicial system of their own
countries for genuine crimes. Both of them were slippery in handling large amount
of cash and ended up as KONVICTS. Yes you are wrong, I was talking about the
Living legend Lord Archer and the master of twists (Not Nano), O’Henry. If you
haven’t read Henry’s “After 20 years”, please contact me so that I can unfriend
you on Facebook and delete your Bio/contact details from my brain and my Tab.

It’s such a
compelling story that the first time I read my mouth was agape after reading
the twist in the last line. It was marvelous and he did it after spending 5
years in jail for a crime he indeed had committed (what were you expecting).
And even after that he has written quite a number of stories like “A voice of
the city”, it’s about the Big Apple and how a city like a human (genuine one)
has voice which we all in our overtly dramatized LIVES often IGNORE to our peril. He has both touched
the inner cords of human bonding as well as handled the abstruse subjects
equally well. He is one of my all-time favorites in the short story genre. The
only reason I don’t have his books up my shelf is because they all are
available online. I don’t know but it’s something related to the loneliness in
jail that people often come out with a book. Like Gandhi wrote most of his best
work in jail, Hitler also found Jail a place where he could finally write down
all the bullshit he could ever think of, and even JL Nehru our Casanova cum
Scholar leader wrote a huge part of Discovery of India in the same barracks.

But with
the overflowing jails with no privacy at all, I hardly think any literary
diamond can be forged in that coal mine in today’s time.

Let’s move
to London now to discuss about Archer, his collections like “there by Hang’s a
tale” produces both a feeling of envy and admiration for the pain he undergoes
to present a simple tale in a way that can raise your hair to the end, change
the color of your cheeks and ears (make them red of course) or increase your
heart rate. All these have actually happened with me while reading his tales.

My friend
Sankalp had once bought the entire collection of his short stories in a single volume;
it has a sexy blue colored cover page with Archers name written in gold, it’s
like a manual for story writing for budding lazy pseudo writers as I love to
imagine myself while spending 12 hours a day involved in my JOB. In his
introduction he often reveals that whether this particular story has been
inspired by real incident or a product of his powerful imagination. So, it makes
them even more interesting to read. Often due to his fame as a writer people
come forth to confide in him their life stories which he then cooks adding all
the spices he has up his sleeve and makes it palatable for us to relish. It’s
his gift to convert any simple anecdote into an unforgettable story and his
sales reflect that.

Now let’s
turn back to the Indian subcontinent where “genuine” authors still make a
pittance and people like Bhagat rule the roost which their half-baked pseudo Autobiographies
in premier institution, I wonder if the setting of his 5 points would have been
some local college and not the mighty IIT how would it have appealed to the
youngsters. It somehow confirms the theory someone had propagated before that
Indian youth are divided into two groups who make it in to the IITs and those
who don’t and waste their lives feeling guilty about that. But when I read the
shit Bhagat Publishes all my share of guilt vanishes and I feel pity for all
the institutions whose name he has sullied by putting his bullshit on Paper.
Had I been the President of this country I would have hung him upside down from
the very gate of his college for the rest of his life so as to serve as an
example to all those who think book sale is everything and not the content.

But apart
from Bhagats/Roys/Kohli’s we have the legendary Satyajit Ray sir, who apart
from a world class director (I am yet to watch any of his movies though) has
written such an amazing collection of stories that you wonder how did he find so much time to do all these things and also excel at them, when I can’t
find time to even visit the local gym. I only recently discovered his
collection in Pune, Pimpri to be precise. My friend Vikram who works in Pune
plant took me to a crossword near his flat and by chance my roving eye fell on
the cover of Satyajit’s Feluda stories. Feluda is the name of the protagonist,
not that ice cream with noodles which was served in my hostel every wednesday.
Feluda is based on Sherlock Holmes but it has more focus in describing the
crime scene rather than the cold logic for which Sherlock Holmes still sells
like hot dim sums, well thanks to Benedict Cumberbatch, he has actually brought the character alive. I wouldn’t have actually purchased it but the crossword
actually allowed me to tear its Poly packing, so after doing this ceremony ,no
bookaholic would replace it back on the shelf .I had to purchase it.And that my friends is my answer to the question, my mom a PhD in Home finance asks "where are the savings from your salary?" and I always end up cutting a sorry figure.

To be
continued……..with the “actual” review of “Memoirs of a
Geisha” and why it
has made me hate Japanese Culture and way of life…..till then…learn urdu

10 comments:

I am completely in agreement with what you wrote about Chetan Bhagat, sir. I often find people claiming to be avid readers when they have actually only read Bhagat and Durjoy Dutta and likes. It is very annoying that people call that literature when you have so many better authors out there like Mr. Amitav Ghosh, Mr. Khushwant Singh, Anita and Kiran Desai, Chitra Bannerjee and (as you mentioned) Mr. Satyajit Ray! Hope some change of mindset can really be brought on! P.S. I do know a bit of Urdu!

Thanks Saloni , Actually I am myself learning urdu on you tube, hence the last line, but nice to know that you are well versed in it, i am hoping to read Gulzar and Manto's works in original chaste urdu...