5 '80s flicks that deserve sequels before 'The Goonies'

Friday

Apr 11, 2014 at 8:59 AMApr 11, 2014 at 9:33 AM

The news of a "Goonies" sequel was greeted with a resounding “Meh,” at least from me.

Pete Chianca

TMZ broke the news earlier this week -- in that way they break all their stories, by ambushing someone and nagging him until he says something, anything -- that a sequel to the 1985 film “The Goonies” is finally in the works. The news was greeted with a resounding “Meh,” at least from me.

Granted, I haven’t seen it since its original release, but I recall being underwhelmed, maybe because at 16 I was already well beyond its target age (8? 5?). I do recall it featured pirates, and a freaky looking pointy-headed guy, and the kid from “Temple of Doom.” And Spielberg was involved, because it was the ’80s and that was the law.

I just think if you’re going to revisit a one-off film from the ’80s there are plenty of better choices. Here are my top 5:

1) Breakfast Club 2: The Sequestered Club. I’ve always admired John Hughes for resisting the urge to crank out sequels to any of his teen classics, which would no doubt have garnered him millions despite being completely creatively unnecessary. But now that he’s dead, anything goes! Possible plot: In a startling coincidence, the five original Breakfast Club members are sequestered on a civil jury along with a puzzled sixth member played by either Andrew McCarthy or Demi Moore. (Same difference.)

2) Footloose 2: Footlooser. Sure there was a remake, but a sequel with Kevin Bacon -- who showed that he’s still got the moves during his recent Tonight Show stop -- is what the public is really clamoring for. Possible plot: When full-contact twerking is banned at his daughter’s high school, Ren starts to think he may have been a little hasty in judging the whole no-dancing thing.

3) Rain Man 2: Rain Another Day. I’m seeing this as a hilarious action buddy comedy that ends with a protracted shootout in KMart. Possible plot: See last sentence. What else do you need, really?

4) They Live 2: They Still Live. Come on, you remember They Live? The 1988 movie starring pro wrestler “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, where aliens disguised as humans have infiltrated human civilization and he’s the only one who can see them because of his special sunglasses? And he fights another guy for the longest six minutes in cinematic history? Anyway, it needs a sequel. Possible plot: That same fight scene, but 12 minutes! Plus, aliens.

5) Gandhi 2: The Gandhiest. Ben Kingsley was in the Prince of Persia movie. Dude needs this. Possible plot: Still working that out, but I’m thinking cloning is involved.