From the Heart of BMa

This Blog is intended for me, BMa, to write from my heart to my two beautiful Grandchildren. They have filled my life with joy and this Blog is to let them know how very much they mean to me. I will also share my inner love for my Daughter, my Mom, my brothers and their familes.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

2007 Special Memories

2007 was a very special year. I had allot happen this year and so much to be greatful. Below are some of the special moments I exerienced during 2007.

January and February I had the rare opportunity to travel to Europe. In a 3 week trip I went to Warsaw, Poland; Vienna, Austria; Athens, Greece and Rome, Italy. Ihis trip was allot of fun. I saw many interesting and historical sites. It was a dream come true. I also travelled with my dear friend Denny who retired in November this year.

Warsaw Poland Athens Greece Rome Italy and Vienna Austria

February 2007 I also had the opportunity to go skiing with my brother David and his family for 10 fun filled days at Jays Peak in Vermont. David rented a cabin right on the slopes, We walked out the back door and skied down to our own chair lift to get to the mountain. We had so much fun. It was the first time I skied like 7 straight days in a row. My body was so sore when we were done, but what a great time we had.

In April we all spent Easter at my Mom's house. We didn't know at the time but this was the last time we would all be together at Mom's for a Holiday celebration. I am so glad that we all spent Easter at her house. We were crowded and slept on matresses on the floor but in the long run it was worth it. We took her to the Brick Alley Pub for dinner. We dyed eggs in her kitchen and had an easter egg hunt in her backyard for the grandchildren. Another memorable time.

In May, I travelled again to Bangkok, Thailand and to Japan. I was gone for two weeks and once again saw the palaces and the budhas. When I returned, it was Memorial Day weekend, I finally did it and bought my brand new car - a 2007 Toyota Solara convertable. I can't find the picture, will have to take a new one a post later.

In July Marx turned 4. Kathy had a super hero party for him. I got there early, picked up GG and helped Kathy get ready for the party. Of course since it was a super hero party, I had to go as a super hero too. Marx was so excited when he saw his B'Ma dressed up as a super hero - the one and only Wonder Woman!!

In June, I had my niece Veronica for one full week to celebrate her birthday. We went to the Phantom of the Opera at the Kennedy Center. Before we went, we went shopping for gowns, got our nails done and then just had fun. I also took Veronica to colonial williamsburg which was a big mistake - it was very hot and not something a 16 year old would enjoy - learned my lesson. We did go to Busch Gardens and Kings Dominion. She also wanted to see the Bunny Bridge and her Uncle Pat and Aunt Michele and her family. We had a good time.

In August had a week with my other niece Tia to also celebrate her 16th birthday. We also had a girls day shopping and getting pampered and we too went to the Phantom of the Opera. Learning my lesson with Veronica - we did not go to Colonial Williamsburg, but instead I took Tia to water world and then Busch Gardens and onwards to Kings Dominion. Tia and I also had a great time.

At the end of August, Kathy, Joel and grandbabies came for a week visit. We spent one of those days at Kings Dominion. I also got to spend some quality alone time with my grandbabies so Kathy and Joel could have some alone time with Joel's parents.

The months of Sep and Oct were spent visiting New Hampshire and RI to make plans to move Mom to her new place in New Hampshire. Oct was my birthday and I turned 52 - not as exciting as last years.

November was a very busy month. I spent two weeks in the RI and New Hampshire moving Mom and getting her settled into her new place. I also spent Thanksgiving at David's. Sadly Kathy, Joel and the kids spent Thanksgiving in VA. I did get to see them over the weekend before they left. I came home the evening the night before they left!!

December was a very nice month. I spent Christmas and New Year's in New Hampshire, took the grandbabies skiing for the first time (see my previous blog) and just had an overall great time.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

I love my family

Everytime I visit my family in New Hamphsire I get a deep warm glow inside my body that lingers for days after I leave. Being with my family often makes me wonder why I even bother to come home to VA. My daughter and her family give me so much joy that every day is filled with love and caring that I don't want to let it go. Now that my mother lives in New Hampshire it is so much easier to be with her as well. She is very tiring at times, but I love her dearly and being able to be around her for the holidays and help when I am there is also very precious to me. I also got to spend lots of time with my younger brother David and his family. My brother is such a wonderful man, father,husband and brother. Are there any more of him out there? that aren't related to me of course. Anyway, being with my family for the holidays was such fun. I spent the first few days finishing Christmas preparations with my daughter. We went shopping and Marx and I went shopping for presents for Mama and Daddy - what fun. I picked up GG Christmas eve night and we spent the night at David's and Donna's. Unfortunatley kathy had to work and couldn't be there. Below is a picture of the grandchildren -expect Kathy :-( with GG.

Christmas day of course was a blast. I got to the spend the morning with my two wonderful grandchildren. The theme this year is "dress up" So of course, I went a little over board. There were these major sales at KB Toys and everything was like 75% off. Needless to say, the kids got allot more than even I realized. But, they had fun and so did I.

We all went over to David's again for dinner and to be together. Kathy had to work again, but got off early and later that night we played a couple of games which is always allot of fun. Kathy got me "are you smarter than a 5th grader." Guess what? I'm not!! LOL and we also played the singing bee. not my best game - I always had a hard time singing the right words, like "I have my cassette on you." right Kathy? hahaha, but so what - we had a blast.

Later that week was a pure joy taking my grandbabies skiing. I have been promising Marx once he was old enough I would take him skiing. At age 4 he is such a big boy and was so excitied. Well imagine my surprise when we found out that even Lexi was old enough to ski this year!! They got in new ski boots for children at a younger age. So needless to say, what a great day we all had on the ski slopes.

The rest of my visit was also very nice. I went skiing again on New Years eve day with my brother, two nieces and nephew. The powder was wonderful and we had a great time. David took some video of me and all you can hear is David and me laughing through the whole thing. That night was another great time with family. Again Kathy had to work but she got back toDavid's around 1230. The rest of my time there was relaxing, being with my grandbabies and visiting my Mom. I left Wed night for the long drive home, with Harry Potter on CD to keep me company. Now that I am home, I can't wait for my next visit which is the weekend of 18 January for Lexi's birthday party.

And once again I think, I wonder - what if I just retired early and move to New Hampshire? It is only three years, 6% of my retirment not earned, is it worth it?? Well, that is about 1K per month not earned so I guess I need to wait out my 3 years, but it is soooo difficult. I also think, I can get a job in New Hampshire and earn extra money to make up the 6%difference in retirment, buy a smaller home and/or condo and not have the higher mortgage payments, hmmmm I wonder.

One day I will move closer to all my family and not miss them so much. What a wonderful family I have Love you all - B'Ma

Date Update

In March I wrote an article stating that I would fill you in on my dating adventures. Well, unfortunately, I guess unfortunately, I haven't done much dating. In April or May I started some communications with a gentelman named Bob. He seemed nice enough so we moved forward to phone conversation. Our relationship lingered at phone conversation for over a month. Bob kept putting off our meeting. I figured he might be heavier than he protrayed himself and was trying to win me over before we met I was right!! We finally met in June for dinner. Bob was not just heavier than I thought but much heavier!! he must be around 500lbs. But that is ok, he is a nice guy and we got along on the phone. I figured we could continue to get to know each other go out and see what happens. We dated for about two months. during this timeframe, his mother passed away which was very hard on him. We also only went to dinner and came back to my place. There was no real intentions on Bob's side to do anything more than that. Finally, he just stopped calling - guess why - without me going into any "intimate" details. yes, that apparently was the only thing on his mind and when it didn't happen. bye bye. There was no acceptance of the fact that I wanted to be his friend, see what we could actively do together, etc. No I realized this was his thing. He made the women feel sorry for him because of his size got what he wanted and moved on - well he moved on with me early - thank goodness.

So, I waited again and started up discussions during the holidays. I put myself out there again with the faith that there must be some nice guy out there just waiting for me. today I was IMing with someone I met on singlesnet and thought he was a nice guy. As our IM discussion continued however it slowly turned into a naughty inuendo type of discussion. Of course, I stopped right away.

So my question to all of you who might be reading this blog - are there any decent men out there? To the people that know me do you know anyone you can introduce me to so I can avoid this world of deception and sexual prowness. I guess I should understand that there will be some of this out there, but it is everywhere. why can't a decent fun loving woman find a nice decent fun loving guy? ok of my high horse. thanks for listening

Monday, March 19, 2007

Like long walks along the beach, blah blah blah

Dating at any age is very difficult. At 51, I have tried dating several times. During my dating adventures, I have been lucky enough to find some men that fall within the realm of what I am looking for and had some short term meaningful relationships. But lets face it, trying to find somone via date adds is very very difficult. Everyone wants to travel, wants romance and passion, likes the mountains and the beach, cuddling on the couch, sipping wine, yada yada yada. So what do you do or say to make yourself more interesting than the other 2 million adds out there that will at least spark an interest, with the right people? I do not know the answer. Maybe being direct is better. I think I am going to change my profile, yet again, to be more direct, a little more funny and state the obvious. I am looking for someone who can accept me for who I am and is willing to participate in my life and I will do the same in return. So why is that so difficult? Lot's of people (men and women) lie, yes can you believe it???, lie in their profiles. So you never, and I mean never, know what you are going to get when you finally decide to date. So here I go again on another dating adventure. This time I thought it would be fun to share my date experiences onmy blog and ask for advise as I go along. It couldn't hurt, right? Wish me luck - I am onmy way

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Starting Over

Well, I haven't posted to my blog since July 2006!!! Nor, have I taken the time to read other blogs, especially my daughters. I caught up today on some of it and decided I need to post another article do express myself. This is of course, from the heart of B'Ma!!

So, why haven't I done anything since July? I got very very busy. First of all I met a wonderful man named Allen. We started dating in August and spent lots of time together. We were getting along just wonderful. Work then got very very busy. I had a business trip scheduled in Oct/Nov that took me away for 5 weeks. The great thing about this trip, other than being in several exoctic places, was that Allen joined me in Bangkok. We had such a great time. I was feeling like a princess for the first time in my life. Wasn't love yet, but having a really good time - enjoying the good life. At 51 it is very hard to find someone special that can share in your most intimate moments and also share in your life's dreams. Then the holidays were upon us. Thanksgiving was very nice. I spent Thanksgiving at Allen's. We cooked dinner together and his family came over including his ex wife and her boyfriend. It was a little weird, but we all got along. I had another business trip in December that took me away for another week, and then spent another week in NH for my beautiful Lexi's firsth birthday. Picked up my Mom who lives in RI and then flew her to VA for Christmas and New Years. OK, you ask, so when did I have time to be with Allen during all of this. Good point - not that much. Things between us started to wain at Christmas time. Allen felt like I was squezzing him into my life. I told him I was including him in my life and wanted him to be a part of it. January came around and Iwent on two more businees trips that took me into February. Needless to say, when I returned, it was over between Allen and I. Heart broken? No. Sad? Yes. It is not fun to be lonely. It is very difficult to find someone who can fit within your lifestyle especially when you are so established. Don't get me wrong, it is not that I am not willing to change some of my life styles, but I won't not at the expense of job/career and my family. So, here I am again scanning eharmony, match.com and other single web sites wondering if there is someone out there that can put up with me and share my life. Never give up I say!!! Stay tuned for more postings!! I am back - ahhh - I have time now. :-)

Friday, July 28, 2006

Riding My Gary Fisher

I meant to put a story in here when I first posted this picture; however, it took me awhile, anyway, here goes. I bought this fine looking bike about 4 years ago. The summer after my weight loss operation. I was with my brother David and his family and I was feeling really good. I mentioned to David that I would realy to start riding a bike again. So he took me to a local bike shop and I bought my very first expensive bike. I have been riding my Gary Fisher ever since. I feel so exhilarated every time I get on my bike. When you loss as much weight as I have over the last four years, it is amazing how wonderful it feels to do simple everyday activities, like riding a bike, that you couldn't do before. So, in honor of my Gary Fisher below is a poem to commerate by bike - yeah I know corny!!

Riding My Gary Fisher

Legs are pumping, heart is pounding, wheels are turningSteady even breath, smile on my face, such a wonderful feelingGliding, pedeling, take steady even stridesFeels like I am floating, I love bike ridesOh no, a hill, need to switch gearsPedelng slower, can bring you to tearsThis hill is so long, it is getting very hotI will not stopI need to get to the top!!Muscles are burning, legs are getting soreI don't care, I know the scoreI reached the top and now I can breakTake a sip of water and celebrate!Time to go down hill and feel the wind in my faceFaster and fast - floating and gliding what a wonderful paceUp a hill and down again - pedeling with lots of vigorOh how exhilarating it is riding my Gary Fisher!!!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Only Through The Love Of A Child

John J. Wall was 51 years old when he passed away. I only knew him for 9 short months, but he had amajor impact on my life. He deeply loved me and showed me that love every day until he died. On the morning of October 24, 2004, I found John dead in our bed. I was completely devasted. Grief had overwhelmed me that I couldn't think straight, I felt guilty maybe I could have done something more to help prevent his passing, and nothing seemed real to me. Of course, my beautiful daughter Kathy knew that I needed family to help me overcome this tragidy in my life. Thinking only of me and what I needed she boarded the next plane and arrived to be by my side the very next day. To my joy she brought my grandson Marx with her as well. I couldn't sleep very well and could not even think of going into the bedroom, so I slept in my chair in the living room. The next morning as I was sitting in my chair, grieving and crying, I looked down the hallway and saw the door to the spare bedroom open. My daugther's shining smiling face was in the doorway. Then my sweet grandson came running down the hall shouting BMa, BMa!! He jumped into my arms and I held him close. He cuddled into me and sighed and shoftly said, I Love You BMa. I knew at that very moment that I would be OK. The grief and the hurt wasn't as bad and holding onto my little man was the best comfort I could have ever received. What a joy!! Thank you Kathy and Marx for helping me through the first couple of days. You saved me. Love You Muches.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

What is BMA?

When Kathy was pregnant with my first grandchild, she wanted me to be called Granny by the grandchildren. She even made me a frame with a picture of her sonogram dated Thanksgiving 2002 and wrote "I Love My Granny" on the frame. Now, when I hear Granny I think of a 100+ some old lady that has no energy snapping her gums. I wanted to be called Grandma, but no she said, we already have a Grandma - my mother - so it would be too confusing. Ok, Granny it is I said,however, I still called myself Grandma. On 20 July 2003 she gave birth to a beautiful little boy whom she and Joel named Marx Omar Burtram (after the two great granddads). What a wonderful day that was. Of course, however, for a little over a year, I was referred to as Granny - much to my dismay. The picture of Marx displayed here is from Thanksgiving 2003 - one year later from when I got the sonogram. When Marx was able to talk, what a talker he is - he just one day called me BMa. BMa!! Where did that come from?? Well, you know what, I didn't care. I was named by my little man and that is all that matters. So to this day I am known as BMa - the most wonderful word in the entire world.