Brendan Kelly’s Top Five Holiday Destinations

Puerto Vallarta is paradise. It’s mountains that end right at the beach. I took my honeymoon there and I’ve been back since and the food is amazing. Barcelona gets on the list for the day that we bought beers on the beach for one Euro apiece and smoked hash and drank beer while naked models sunbathed all around us. Perth and Melbourne are two cities on two coasts of my favorite country in the world. I love Perth for its remote awesomeness, but I have more friends in Melbourne, so we’ve gotta split the difference. Even though, now I’m talking, Byron Bay and Surfers Paradise are the locations of my favorite vacation ever. Anyway, you get the idea. Australia deserves two entries. Finally, have you been to Tokyo? It’s nuts. You can buy panties, used, stinky panties, out of a vending machine. Suck on that, jack.