To My Boy

When your little heart broke today, I felt it too-like breaking glass, I shattered, helpless, as the pieces fell.

It hit me in spectacular fashion, that sometimes, I don’t have all the answers, and sometimes, I can’t fix it.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I lay with you.

I lay down with you on your little bed, and welcomed silence as I stroked your tear sodden cheek.

So soft it was, I didn’t realise how so, you, my little man, are but a babe in arms, your virgin soul, newly challenged by the devastation of disappointment.

There were no words- they felt weightless and empty in comparison to the energy that transpired in this moment.

The clock ticked, our heavy eyes fell closed, and we drifted into sleep.

I remember my words to you the next day…

“You know how you’re going to get through this? You get up, you have breakfast, and you go to school. Then you come home to mum and dad and your brother, and you have dinner, go to sleep, and get up again the next day-That’s it. That’s how you’ll get through this”

He heard me, but I could sense my words were just words to him, largely because they had not been lived.

-and my heart whispered

‘Please believe me when I tell you, that tomorrow, this will be yesterday’

…

To my Boy

~Words for another day

‘You are growing before my eyes son, and there are so many things I would love to share in order to spare you the pain, but in doing so, I will be depriving you of important growth- Of finding your own way, and building resilience.

Right now, you are living the miracle of youth. You have freedom, like an eagle soaring through infinite skies-the world is yours.

Your dreams not yet realised lie dormant, waiting to be launched.

I understand school work is a drag to you, that’s all you see. It’s ok to feel that way. Just know, all great things require hard work. There’s no getting out of it. The more you put in, the easier it will become, and the more choices will be available to you.

Put in your best effort, because if you don’t, you will be selling yourself short.

Life is not fair and equal. Never has been, never will be. Don’t waste one second dwelling on that my boy- endure the disappointments, and learn from them. There will be many. Your time will always come, and when it does, grab the opportunity and run with the wind.

Believe in yourself. You will fail, that’s a given, but success lies in perseverance not perfection.

Girls will break your heart into a million pieces, but for every heartaching moment you feel, there is someone out there breaking over you, so be kind to them, as you are their world.

Never give up on love. Sometimes, the real diamonds are hiding in the sand and are never where you expect them to be.

You will never be liked by everybody, that’s ok. You are not here to be liked. You are here to find those that love you, to find meaning and warmth through connection. To live a life that is truly you. A life that feels natural and comfortable.

Surround yourself with those whose hearts beat with the same drum. It’s the only way to happiness. Let go of those that hold you back, and leave them to find their own way.

This will be difficult, as the pressure to fit in will always be there.

Acceptance will make you feel liked, which in turn feeds your self esteem, but it’s fickle. Don’t fight for it, you will only be disappointed. One minute they like you, the next they don’t, and changing yourself to suit others is unsustainable. Eventually, you will feel lost, alone and insecure for the fear of them discovering the real you.

Rather, be happy in your own shoes.

Stand up and take ownership of your individuality.

May you realise all judgement passed is simply a fear of difference. Embrace difference. No two people are the same, and everybody deserves validation.

Those that are threatened by your presence will wound you. Treat it with compassion and not hatred, they know not what they do.

But you won’t do that though will you?

Because you are young, and it’s hard, so you will simply have to figure it out for yourself, with me watching you fall, over and over, whilst you learn the hard lessons in life.

Threats to your sense of self will never cease. It happens in adulthood too, but what you learn, is that you always have a choice. The ability to choose your reaction. Try to remember to take responsibility for the choices you make, it’s the light that will lead you to self acceptance.

Be kind to the strugglers in life.

There are many that are doing it tougher than yourself. There are many that don’t have mums and dads that have the capacity to care, there are many who find themselves in very challenging situations who are fighting private battles you will never understand. So don’t judge

-Kindness only matters.

Lead by example, and others will follow. Live true and raw and honestly, and you will attract those that are meant to walk beside you.

If you remember only one thing, remember this

Live for the moment.

Let go of the past, it is largely irrelevant.

The future is uncertain, so quit worrying.

Immerse yourself in the enjoyment of living, moment to moment, fully, and whole-heartedly.

Is this a cliché?

It sure is, but never a truer expression has been spoken.

My little boy, my blood, my heart and soul, always remember, at the end of the day, if all seems dire, I will be here.

22 thoughts on “To My Boy”

Wow! This is so inspiring! I was needing to read this. I’m sure your kid will be OK, because he has a wonderful mother. And although you can’t protect him from every harm of this world, you have the biggest of hearts to help him heal himself.

Beautiful! Your sons are lucky to have such an insightful mother. It takes a great deal of love, patience and self-control to let your child learn their lessons. Your words are filled with inspiration and wisdom 🙂