Willy Wonka: Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous!

Mr. Turkentine: I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday,
which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the
week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today
is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest.

Willy Wonka: Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.

Mr. Turkentine: Of course you don't know! You don't know because only I know.
If you knew and I didn't know, then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching
you--and for a student to be teaching his teacher is presumptuous and rude.
Do I make myself clear?

Willy Wonka: [singing] There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination.
Living there, you'll be free if you truly wish to be.

Willy Wonka: [singing] If you want to view paradise, simply look around and
view it.

[Noticing signs on vats.] Mr. Salt: Wonka! Butterscotch? Buttergin? You running something on the side
here? Willy Wonka: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker!

Violet Beauregarde: What is this, a freak out?

Willy Wonka: Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?

Sam Beauregarde: What is this Wonka, some kind of funhouse? Willy Wonka: Why? Are you having fun?

Willy Wonka: We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams.

Willy Wonka: So shines a good deed in a weary world.

Veruca Salt: [singing] I want the world. I want the whole world. I want to
lock it all up in my pocket. It's my bar of chocolate. Give it to me now.

Augustus Gloop: I feel very sorry for Wonka. It's gonna cost him a fortune
in fudge.

Willy Wonka: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

Sam Beauregarde: Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!

Tinker: Up the airy mountain, down the rushing glen, we dare not go a hunting,
for fear of little men! You see, nobody ever goes in and nobody ever comes
out!

Willy Wonka: No other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall.
But it's the only way if you want it just... right.

Willy Wonka: The suspense is terrible... I hope it lasts.

Willy Wonka: There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going
/ There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the river's flowing
/ Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / Not a speck
of light is showing / So the danger must be growing / Are the fires of hell
a-glowing? / Is the grisly reaper mowing? / Yes, the danger must be growing
/ 'Cause the rowers keep on rowing / And they're certainly not showing / Any
signs that they are slowing!

Willy Wonka: Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, and not a drop to drink... yet.

Willy Wonka: If the good Lord had intended us to walk he wouldn't have invented
roller-skates.

Willy Wonka: Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean you can eat
everything.

Charlie Bucket: What was that we just went through? Willy Wonka: Hsawaknow. Mrs. Teevee: Is that Japanese? Willy Wonka: No, that's Wonkawash spelled backwards.

Willy Wonka: So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that.
Reverse it.

Veruca Salt: I want it now, daddy.

Veruca Salt: I wanted to be the first to find a Golden Ticket, Daddy. Mr. Salt: I know, angel. We're doing the best we can. I've got every girl in
the place to start hunting for you. Veruca Salt: All right. Where is it? Why haven't they found it? Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart. I'm not a magician! Give me time! Veruca Salt: I want it now! What's the matter with those twerps down there? Mr. Salt: For five days now, the entire flipping factory's been on the job.
They haven't shelled a peanut in there since Monday. They've been shelling
flavored chocolate bars from dawn till dusk! Veruca Salt: Make them work nights!

Veruca Salt: They don't want to find it. They're jealous of me. Mr. Salt: Sweetheart, I can't push them no harder; 19,000 bars an hour they're
shelling; 760,000 they've done so far. Veruca Salt: You promised, Daddy! You promised I'd have it the very first day! Mrs. Salt: You're going to be very unpopular around here, Henry, if you don't
deliver soon. Mr. Salt: It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy. Veruca Salt: You're a rotten, mean father! You never give me anything I want!
And I won't go to school until I have it. Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now, there are four tickets left in the
whole world, and the whole ruddy world's hunting for them! What can I do?

Willy Wonka: Well, fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic.
So I think we'll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. That should do
the trick.
[To an Oompa Loompa.] Willy Wonka: To the taffy-pulling room. You'll find the boy in his mother's
purse. But be extremely careful. Mrs. Teevee: To the taffy-pulling room?!
[Oompa Loompa whispers to Wonka.] Willy Wonka: No, no. I won't hold you responsible.

Grandpa Joe: Mister Wonka? Willy Wonka: I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
Grandpa Joe: I was just wondering about the chocolate. The lifetime supply
of chocolate? For Charlie? When does he get it? Willy Wonka: He doesn't. Grandpa Joe: Why not? Willy Wonka: Because he broke the rules.
Grandpa Joe: What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we, Charlie? Willy Wonka: Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by
him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if
-- and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy -- "I, the
undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and
herein contained," et cetera, et cetera... "Fax mentis incendium
gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera... "Memo bis punitor delicatum"!
It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting
drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized,
so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!Grandpa Joe: You're a crook! You're a cheat and a swindler! How could you do
a thing like this, raise up a little boy's hopes and then dash all his dreams
to pieces? You're an inhuman monster! Willy Wonka: I said good day!

Mr. Salt: Quite a nice little canoe you got there, Wonka. Willy Wonka: All I ask is for a tall ship and a star to sail her by. All aboard
everybody! Mr. Salt: Ladies first and that means Veruca. Grandpa Joe: If she's a lady, I'm a Vernicious Knid.

Mr. Salt: Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose? Willy Wonka: They're not for sale. Mr. Salt: Name your price. Willy Wonka: She can't have one. Veruca Salt: Who says I can't?! Mr. Salt: The man with the funny hat.

Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will
they? Willy Wonka: Well, I think that furnace is only lit every other day, so they
have a good sporting chance, haven't they?

Reporter: Four down, one to go and somewhere out there a lucky person is moving
closer and closer to the most sought after prize in history. Though we cannot
help but envy whoever he is, and we may feel bitter but we must remember there
are more important things, many more important things. Though offhand I cannot
think of what they are but I'm sure there must be something.

Detective: Mrs. Curtis, did you hear me? It's your husband's life or your
case of Wonka Bars! Mrs. Curtis: How long will they give me to think it over?

Willy Wonka: Now over here I have something rather special to show you. Mr. Salt: It's special alright, I only hope my Veruca doesn't want one.

Willy Wonka: Well... Two naughty, nasty little children gone... Three good,
sweet little children still here...

Violet Beauregarde: Well, normally, I'm a gum chewer. But when I heard about
these ticket things of Wonka's, I laid off the gum and switched to candy bars,
instead. Now, of course, I'm right back on gum! I chew it all day, except at
mealtimes when I stick it behind my ear. Mrs. Beauregarde: Now, Violet- Violet Beauregarde: Cool it, Mother! Now, this little piece of gum I've been
chewing on for three months solid. That's a world record! It's beaten the record
held by my best friend, Miss Cornelia Prince Medal. And, WAS she mad! Hi, Cornelia!
How are ya, Sweetie?

Mike Teevee: Look at me! I'm gonna be the first person in the world to be
sent by television! Mrs. Teevee: Mike, get away from that thing! Willy Wonka: [sarcastically] Stop! Don't! Come back! Mike Teevee: Lights. Camera. ACTION!!!

[After Mike appears on the screen] Grandpa Joe: The little grub is getting smaller by the minute!