How do you keep from ‘crying’ when peeling an onion?Have your sister peel it for you!

How many onions do you need to make soup? I don’t know. I didn’t know onions could cook!

Waiter, will my onion rings be long?No sir, they will be round!

Why did the onion lie down for a rest?Because it wasn’t peeling well.

A helper at the farmer’s market is 5’ 4” tall. What does she weigh?Onions, beans, tomatoes,…

If there are 3 onions and you take away 2, how many do you have?YOU have 2.

Commonly Posted Question/Answer Jokes, Unmodified

How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car? Put him in the front seat.

How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!

Waiter, will my pizza be long? No sir, it will be round!

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.

A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh? Meat

If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have? 2

While searching for jokes that would work as onion jokes, one joke stood out is making no sense when I first read it; nor did comprehension come the next time I read it. When at last I saw the light, it sure was fun. Maybe you will be as my family members and grasp it immediately? Here goes: