Changing My Relationship With Time

August 20, 2015

Since leaving the 3.5 walls of my cubicle and the comfortable paycheck I received in exchange for spending hours in what felt like a timeout corner, time has taken on an entirely new meaning. Time used to be what I wasted as I wrestled with the gnawing feeling that I would never feel passion towards anything work-related again. Time was what I counted as I waited for the next Friday to appear. I hated time and its insistency that it could only move at a glacial speed.

Now, with no walls surrounding me, time is something I’ve come to both respect and fear. Days that used to feel like years suddenly disappear at lightening speed, leaving me with the pit of anxiety spurred by a perceived lack of activity. Before, lack of activity would still result in a paycheck — now there’s no such safety net.

As I push forward into this new, foreign way of living, time has come to represent so may things – what was wrong with where I was, and what I will have to overcome in order to build a fulfilling life.

Time doesn’t have to be sold to the highest bidder.

We willingly hand over the vast majority of our lives in exchange for a steady paycheck. A forty-hour workweek is the accepted norm, and every pay raise just means your time is seen as slightly more valuable than before.

Instead I want to sell my work in exchange for a paycheck and have my time be my own. I want to determine when it’s best for me to allocate my time to work and when it is better spent growing the other areas of my life that are equally as important.

Time shouldn’t take center stage every day of our lives.

Yesterday, as I moved from appointment to meeting to conference call, I realized that my day had passed smoothly without any consideration given to time. It was the end of the day and it felt like it had just begun.

While some days this feeling sparks a sense of overwhelm, in this instance it suddenly felt like I had been so fulfilled that I didn’t need to wish for time to do anything else than just exist.

Passion and a sense that there are so many amazing, fulfilling things to be accomplished makes it completely unnecessary to long for another weekend or a later hour. It is entirely possible for each weekday to be filled with the satisfaction vacation can bring.

Time will pass in exactly the manner it is meant to.

I am neither ahead nor behind, I am exactly where I need to be. That is precisely what this new relationship with time is pushing me to trust.

I have always been a firm believer that life unfolds exactly at the right time in the exact manner it needs to. Therefore, a certain day on the calendar or time on the clock can not indicate to me that I have allocated my time in a way that is anything other than perfect for what I need in my life right now.

Time can just be one small indicator of where I am on this crazy journey I find myself on.