"I'm gonna show all you little girls out there how to suck cock," voice of experience Chasey Lain explains to the camera at the start of "Chasey Lain: MILF Trainer." And that's about the extent of the "training" in this perfunctory video. Chasey, the to-die-for hottie of the early 1990s who today serves to show what the Olsen twins will look like in 15 years, and three other women in their 20s or 30s each do a girl-guy scene (Chasey gets a second scene, at the end). With the exception of bespectacled cougar Kelly Leigh, most of the action is by the numbers.

Scene 1. After stating her cocksucking intentions, 36-year-old Chasey gets on her knees to service an anonymous, presumably young schlong (according to the end credits, it's attached to one Jay Lassiter). She asks the guy how it feels but she's looking at the camera -- us -- which is not the way to present a convincing sex scene. After some unenthusiastic fellatio, Chasey and the dork fuck in various positions until he explodes on her leathery boobs.

Scene 2. We open with a supercloseup of Morgan Reigns, smiling at us as she proclaims, "My name is Morgan and I like to suck lots of fat cock." Well, one cock will have to do for this scene, as Morgan turns and feasts on the erection in her face. The pretty, green-eyed redhead resembles a cross between Marcia Cross and Priscilla Presley, but has a much fuller figure. There's some visually satisfying reverse cowgirl (Morgan has a big green tattoo where her pubes used to be), among other positions. The facially unseen Jack Fountain ultimately jacks it onto Morgan's tongue -- a rather thin load, I must say. Shouldn't porn studs, like boxers, refrain from ejaculating for a day or two before the big event?

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Scene 3.Kendra Secrets, a pale twentysomething, sits on a black leather couch with her straight black hair and wearing a black teddy, quietly masturbating. After a few minutes, yet another anonymous cock (hello, Dane Cross) pops into frame and she gladly gobbles it up. There's a nice shot of Kendra sucking Dane filmed through her legs from behind as she stands and leans down, but that's about all that's noteworthy in their scene. The guy rubs it out on Kendra's tongue, but we fade to black before she swallows. (My guess is she spits.)

Scene 4. We finally hit the MILF mother lode with Kelly Leigh, an older-looking dirty blonde with a dirty mind. She says nothing, just gets on her knees while a guy (Jay Lassiter again, this time showing his face) pulls up her green dress, pulls aside her thong and slaps her ample ass cheeks and her pussy lips. He licks her butthole a little (the only man-on-woman oral moment in the movie) before forcing her head down on his pole. Kelly gags a bit but is a nasty mama indeed. At one point, she gets her head under Jay's ball sac and gives him a rimming. Nice. And during their vigorous fucking, Jay fingers her to squirting orgasm. Kelly lets a few more juice loads escape in the course of humping, and even has Jay sit on her face for more manass-tonguing. During a reverse cowgirl, he cums on her pussy; she wipes it up with her fingers and licks it off.

Scene 5. Chasey is back on the same sofa we first saw her cavorting, only now she's wearing a different outfit and has a different cocksman (young Mikey Butders) to have unexciting sex with. I woke up in time to see him give her a pearl necklace.

THE DVD

Hustler's DVD is adequately produced and easily navigable. Pop in the disc and two phone sex ads instantly run (they're also accessible through the bonus menu). You then are brought to the main, still-frame menu, where you can choose among Play Movie, Select a Star, Chapter Index and Special Features. The Select a Star menu boasts still shots of each girl. The chapter index provides animated hardcore frames; there are five to eight chapters per girl.

The 16:9 widescreen video picture displays as letterboxed on old standard TVs (black bars at top and bottom) and windowboxed on widescreen monitors (bars all around); the latter is unfortunate -- lots of screen space is wasted -- and unfortunately common on both porn and mainstream DVDs. Can't we get hi-def smut that fills every centimeter of our big screen? In porn, more is more.

The stereo sound is adequate since there's next to no dialogue. A techno background score comes and goes.

The chief extra is a 20-minute behind-the-scenes segment, devoted mostly to an interview on the set with Chasey Lain. In her early days, the very pretty Chasey said very little, if anything, on screen. Today, her voice is shockingly gravelly and worn down and her laughing slur is a language only Keith Richards would understand. Chasey attributes her longevity in the biz to just working hard and avoiding partying, but the way she says it (not to mention that she's oblivious to the long strands of her hair sticking to her lips) makes you wonder.

Other extras include the phone sex ads, an ad for the Hustler Hollywood store, a slide show (which you can let run on its own or skip through quickly), a trailer for VCA's "Girls Playing With Girls," and trailers for six Hustler titles: "Not the Bradys XXX" (no sex shown), "Analy (sic) Yours: Love, Bree Olsen," the brilliantly titled "Strollin' in the Colon," "Asian Fever 34," "Barely Legal P.O.V. #2" and "Nina Hartley: MILF Trainer," which looks like a winner.

THE LAST WORD

It's just the way of the world that the once dazzlingly beautiful porn ingénue Chasey Lain is now a hardened MILF. Her horniness, on the evidence here, seems diminished as she merely goes through the motions in two forgettable scenes. But two other women on the disc, Morgan Reigns and Kelly Leigh, have the appropriate enthusiasm, with Kelly particularly hot-blooded and lustful. The bonus interview with Chasey has some curiosity factor, and the sexy trailers are a plus. Nothing great here, but worth a look.