Like most squaddies/matelots/bootnecks, I have a healthy drinking habit. I even have a cheeky little beverage cupboard. In fact the far left cupboard in my kitchen is a makeshift bar complete with wine rack, novelty bottle openers, straws, shot glasses and a cocktail shaker that I have used once.

Among the bottles of vintage port, champagne and wine, I have a few decent whiskeys, some nice rum from Guyana and a big crate of Peroni Nastro Azzuro which is my beer of choice.

If you delve a little deeper however, you'll find some complete and utter shite. Among my collection I have a bottle of strawberry wine, 3 cans of spesh, Bristol cream sherry, aniseed liquor, Advocaat, some Bulgarian wine, ouzo, a variety of miniatures that appear to have been stolen from an aeroplane, some German schnapps type things wrapped in brown paper and a large bottle of Grande Duque Alba whatever the fcuk that may be.

Now the thing is, I have absolutely no recollection of purchasing, 'borrowing' or liberating any of this shite. The missus rarely drinks and wouldn't have bought it. Where the fuck did it come from? I have the odd soiree but I don't think any of my friends and acquaintances are the sort to bring that kind of pikey shite to a party.

I'm toying with the idea of making a mega death wet and seeing where the weekend takes me. Either that or I could take some of it round to my local tramp and let him crack on. Any other suggestions?

i found a bottle of poteen when i was unpacking my into my quarter 2 years ago, dont know where it came from tasted like shit but tried to drink it anyway, just had a look in the "cupboard" its still there and i swear it is fuller than last time i looked, anyway going to have to try and drink some more of it now.

Stroh 80. Got given it by a german 'mate" when I went on Grapple 1 (oh yes), took it with me, drank a shot out of it, puked up and threw it in the MFO box, and for some reason can't throw it away. Thinking about giving it to my son on his 18th....... That'll teach the fkuker!!!!

Like most squaddies/matelots/bootnecks, I have a healthy drinking habit. I even have a cheeky little beverage cupboard. In fact the far left cupboard in my kitchen is a makeshift bar complete with wine rack, novelty bottle openers, straws, shot glasses and a cocktail shaker that I have used once.

Among the bottles of vintage port, champagne and wine, I have a few decent whiskeys, some nice rum from Guyana and a big crate of Peroni Nastro Azzuro which is my beer of choice.

If you delve a little deeper however, you'll find some complete and utter shite. Among my collection I have a bottle of strawberry wine, 3 cans of spesh, Bristol cream sherry, aniseed liquor, Advocaat, some Bulgarian wine, ouzo, a variety of miniatures that appear to have been stolen from an aeroplane, some German schnapps type things wrapped in brown paper and a large bottle of Grande Duque Alba whatever the fcuk that may be.

Now the thing is, I have absolutely no recollection of purchasing, 'borrowing' or liberating any of this shite. The missus rarely drinks and wouldn't have bought it. Where the fuck did it come from? I have the odd soiree but I don't think any of my friends and acquaintances are the sort to bring that kind of pikey shite to a party.

I'm toying with the idea of making a mega death wet and seeing where the weekend takes me. Either that or I could take some of it round to my local tramp and let him crack on. Any other suggestions?

What gash booze do you have kicking around?

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Pm Rampant with a list of that shite and see what he can cook you up.

Failing that, pop down the park and pour it down the local chavs. Within minutes they'll be re-enacting ancient Rome orgies. You can giggle your tits off as their tracksuits go up in flames from the friction!

Edited to add: Two bottles of cheap wine,Two half bottles of citrus Smirnoff and a bottle of Baileys?
Left overs from the last time Mrs Seagulls pals got ready here before going out. The cheap wine may not see the dawn.

Stroh 80. Got given it by a german 'mate" when I went on Grapple 1 (oh yes), took it with me, drank a shot out of it, puked up and threw it in the MFO box, and for some reason can't throw it away. Thinking about giving it to my son on his 18th....... That'll teach the fkuker!!!!

Ravers, whilst I applaud the size that your kitchen cupboard must be (of almost sh*dlike proportions) I have to take issue with your "healthy drinking habit". What the fuck is a matelot doing having any booze left in the house at all?
Matelots don't do drinks cabinets, they don't get time to populate...ever. Matelots merely have booze ready use lockers with the odd "emergency resupply" drill having to be carried out if sun-uppers is undertaken.

Ravers, whilst I applaud the size that your kitchen cupboard must be (of almost sh*dlike proportions) I have to take issue with your "healthy drinking habit". What the fuck is a matelot doing having any booze left in the house at all?
Matelots don't do drinks cabinets, they don't get time to populate...ever. Matelots merely have booze ready use lockers with the odd "emergency resupply" drill having to be carried out if sun-uppers is undertaken.

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Oh I have a ready use locker, it's called the fridge. I see your point however and I will make an effort to purge my cupboard of all it's gash contents this weekend. On Monday I shall come up smiling, with a hangover that would kill a WAFU and an empty cupboard.