ISFjs are deeply sensitive individuals for whom the normal "give-and-take" of every-day life is a threatening, anxiety-producing affair and they usually hide from confrontations however minor. Instead, they will stew. Their feelings are easily hurt and they do not know how to verbalize their displeasure without "making a ...

federal case" out of trivial issues.

They are not the most optimistic of persons. Fearing the spontaneous side of life makes them attempt to control everything and everybody in their lives.

They have a propensity to jump to conclusions. Being hesitant to discuss any subject that may lead to their psychological or emotional discomfort, they will stand by their frequently error-ridden judgements without ever trying to verify them. Their inability outside the home to willingly confront issues leads them to "take it home" where they expect their mates to uphold and support them. They are not, however, willing listeners to criticism or advice that is not supportive of their positions, particularly if told they invite much of the abuse.

So ISFjs exhibit a propensity to see one side of an issue - the side with which they agree. For this reason, they can be difficult to interact with on a personal level and their self-imposed martyrdom becomes tiresome. Every argument becomes a "poor me" statement or a "do you know how that makes me feel" statement without addressing the facts.

Their need to control in an attempt to subvert "bad things happening" can also create and transmit tension to all around them. If they are not able to resolve internal conflicts and anxieties, they, because of their inability to give voice to their inner turmoil, can bring out psychosomatic illnesses to draw attention away or to extricate them from the give-and-take dynamics of life. If not, they could explode with physical violence.

Although they are generally sweet personalities, their mood swings make it difficult for people to be comfortable with them on a continuing basis and make them difficult to understand since they do not give voice to inner and outer struggles. They are generally able to be demonstratively affectionate but only with family members within the shelter of their own homes where they tend to "own" the home, the spouse, the children, etc. ISFjs often go unappreciated because they give quietly and unobtrusively in their martyr-like way.

C51 As an ISFJ, I found this report very accurate. It describes what I consider my biggest shortcomings of the past and present, some of which I still exhibit (especially when under stress) and some of which I have for the most part outgrown at this point in my life. It helps to keep things in the right perspective though. To view a report like this not as criticism, but as a learning tool or a source of useful information that may benefit your personal development. -- Anonymous

C52 Now, all of you, imagine what it is like to be an ENFP with an INTP brother and TWO count them TWO very ISFJ parents, both of which bottle everything for long periods of time and then explode like the demented little bombs they are from time to time... Oy vay... additionally trying to discuss anything rationally with this type without carefully approaching the issue in the right way is very, very, very, difficult and often extremely frustrating... However, I have an INTJ "friend" who for lack of a better word demonstrates all of the worst tendencies of an INTJ because of the fact his Introverted iNtution has become the dominant leader in all of his functions; and all of them (secondary, tertiary, weakest function) are all slaves to his not only bloated ego, but his opinions of steel which are "apparently" flexible, but often, even if presented with strong logic and good evidence to support, he will still doubt just because "he" didn't think of it first, or, at all. In fact, he will almost humorously reject something as totally invalid if he doesn't immediately get how it could possibly be! (le gasp) i.e.: Anything that he actually hasn't taken the time to study, but assumes because of his massive ego he "should" understand right then and there, but because he doesn't, and often isn't openly willing to admit he doesn't know anything about it, will just refuse to accept it as valid.... but that aside, I find ISFJ inflexibility and irrationality to be a hilarious tool of annoyance against INTJ. Not that I hate INTJ mind you, I have a few other friends and family members who are INTJ's who are more mature psychologically; and are wonderful people to talk to. But this is a tangent of sorts; if you want to see something funny, get a stubborn ISFJ and a cocky INTJ and throw something out there for them to debate. XD -- Marty

C53 This article very accurately revealed the ISFj, albeit it is their negative side (and all types have positives and negatives). Well done though. -- jragonfly

C54 I still don't know whether I'm an ISFJ or an INFJ. All the personality tests I take say that I'm an INFJ but I can relate more to ISFJ descriptions. What can be the tie breaker here? -- flouriste

C55 How were you able to see the note to my sister? It was set to private before it was "published" and from my experience with those stupid notes, they don't save unless they are published. I was trying to save it there because it is easier to transfer it between computers...presumed it was more safe than e-mail. Nothing is safe I guess. -- Anonymous

C56 i just find it's very hard to communicate with them.they have their own way of thinking, when leading them to think slower, more objective ,narrow down to present, they talks about their feelings again. i'd rather shut my mouth and let her get insane. it dosent mean i dont love them, but i cant find the way or i cant afford giving such intense counselling . -- ent ry p hone

C57 I met the most wonderful women. She is an isfj. We do not make it work work between us. I think the article is VERY accurate..unfortunately... -- Anonymous

C58 Wow, these all sound so familiar...my father is an ISFJ...Comment 23 sounds right up his alley - We always thought had explosive anger disorder or some kind of social anxiety. Blows up over trivial things...Can't be in large crowds, or if he's in public will make some ill comment to try to bring people down. Almost like they have low self esteem but at the same time a huge ego. Will never apollogize for anything,even when it's obvious that he's in the wrong. Will hold a grudge forever. To the point where he will push all his friends away, except a few eccentric individuals, only close family is left. Total control freak, to the point where I refuse to work or do any project and will only do family events or golf. I don't want it to sound all bad, there are good qualities, loyal, would do anything to help you if you were in a jam, and can trust them to do whatever. -- Anonymous

C59 My mother is an ISFJ and this article pretty much sums up why I want her out of my life. -ENTP -- Anonymous

C60 As an ISFj, yes, I read this article and I understand that that is how I am, how we are. However, the comments are what really have me upset. Yes, we have faults, as do all humans, but seriously, there are SO MANY non-ISFj people who are just bashing us for being who we are. It's a personality TYPE for a reason; it's not like one person is being intentionally terrible to you. It's just how we are, how our minds work. And if you had bothered to read any of the other information about ISFj you would understand how much we take to heart all those criticisms; our minds go a million miles a minute with internal criticisms and judgments and it doesn't help us get out of those negative ruts if others are just like, "yeah, you're right, they are terrible and whiney and annoying, I've wasted so much time on ISFj relationships, never doing THAT again!" Seriously, we hate on ourselves enough; stop encouraging such negativity, please and thank you. -- PS