Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day News - GM Announces New Hybrid SUV

In honor of Earth Day and to show the public their tax dollar bailout is being well spent - General Motors trotted out their latest SUV hybrid at a press conference held today in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. GM Spokesman, Frank Rizzo, heralded the prototype as the wave of the future, and sure to save the failing U.S. auto industry.

The yet to be named model is rumored to mark the return of Oldsmobile, the much missed brand of the GM family. It's currently code named Advanced Mobile Inter Synch Hybrid - or AMISH for short. According to GM Engineers, this AMISH technology, which requires no plug in or petroleum based fuel, will prove to be the answer to U.S. transportation needs.

Pending EPA, crash, and flatulence testing - GM expects to release a production version by Earth Day 2010. This will be followed by a higher end model that will sport two Bull power, special pearl white paint and "really big shiny wheels".

GM Spokesman, Frank Rizzo reports, "Our Bull powered hybrids will go head to head against Toyota and Honda". GM also plans to trickle the AMISH technology over to the yet to be released Chevy Volt. Smaller trunk sized bulls are being bred which allow a "limp home" function in case of total battery discharge.

On a related note, Exxon Mobile announced its plan to develop alternative fuels to power the expected demand for these new hybrids. Special oats and grain will be grown in the Middle East, pending pressure on Congress to develop commercial areas in U.S. National Parks - and finally end our dependence on foreign fuel.