The above are household names for MMA fans. They are popular fighters with impressive records. They come up in conversations almost daily on MMA forums. Casual fans of MMA add street cred to their discussions by dropping their names. It’s easy to remember the greats, but what about the not-so-greats. Every good record contains guys with bad records. That’s just how the process works. Listed below are some of, if not THE worst MMA fighters of all time.

1. Kenneth Allen is an amazing 31-1. Wait, I had that backwards. Allen has an underwhelming disappointing, and downright shameful record of 1-31. When he wasn’t busy getting submitted in 23 of those fights he was getting TKO’d. Only two of those fights went the distance and I can only guess that they were at a community rec center against 8 year olds. They were close fights, but he managed to survive. For over 7 years this guy has created a massive black hole of suck in the cage. He had one victory against Cory Simpson who currently boasts a record that Vernon White would approve of. Imagine being the one win for the guy who is 1-31.

2. Shawn Nolan was not born in to greatness and damn did he fight hard to prove it. Nolan has a record that looks like Matt Hughes’s only it’s reversed and crappy. Shawn is 6-46 and none of those losses were by decision. 2 of his wins are to some poor guy named Ron Thornburg who is attempting to catch up to Nolan, but sadly trails behind with a record of 0-4. Shawn Nolan has to wake up every morning and think of new ways he can get submitted. There are only so many jiu jitsu submissions out there so he has to be close to checking them all off his MMA bucket list of ways to be finished.

3. Joseph “The Ho Bag” Bochenek could have been included on this list for his nickname alone. The Ho Bag has ho’d himself out to 10 fighters, which firmly places his record in to a stunning 0-10 ho bag of awesomeness. The truly spectacular part of his accomplishment is that all 10 fights ended with him tapping out more times than a WWE developmental wrestler. Thankfully no one had to take one for the team and give this guy a win. The Ho Bag should stick to street corners and stay out of cages.

4. Tim Willis saw Bochenek jump ahead to an 0-10 lead in their suck competition so he quickly retaliated with a warning shot of his own. His record is a monumental 0-18, and not to be upstaged by The Ho Bag he decided to lose all of them just as quickly and not let any of those losses come via decision. Willis hasn’t fought since 2009, but rumor has it that he is the current training partner for legendary fighters Scott “Lionheart” Blevins and John “The Jam Man” Decyk. If you look those guys up please wear a hard hat because their epicness will blow your mind.

5. Wrapping up this list is Shannon “The Cannon” Ritch (pictured). The Cannon has 48 wins and it seems ludicrous to place him in the suck category if you look at that statistic alone. What gets him to this prestigious place is his ludicrous 75 losses. Most fighters will never see a total of that many fights in their entire career. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise he has that record since his fight team is narcissistically called “Team Cannon”. It consists of Fozzy the Bear, Count Dante of the Black Dragon Society, and Papa Smurf. I have the highest respect for someone who has fought this many times, but I also question their sanity with a record of 48-75. Shannon’s dedication to fail is commendable.

The fighters listed above have set new standards in the professional art of losing. I look forward to educating even more readers in the future on what it takes to post a record that makes me feel like writing about it. Until next time, enjoy the fail.