HE door was shut, and Davie was left
alone in the school-room.
"It is too bad," he said aloud, as he
heard his Mother descend the stairs; "it is
too bad to be kept in here all the afternoon.
I only tickled Elsie once during the Bible
lesson. Miss Green needn't have told
Mother. It is too bad."
In Davie's pocket were three marbles and
an old farthing. He turned them over and
over; to do so usually made his life sunnier
and sweeter. Not so to-day. The smooth
and the round had lost their charm.
"And this old Multiplication Tablet"
(X4ms) C

Just Forty Winks

exclaimed Davie, as he climbed into the big
chair used by the governess. "What is the
good of a Multi-
-6 plication Table?
Who wants to
know five times
five or twelve
times twelve? I
don't. I wish it
was tea-time."
He sat upon
the arm of the
chair and gazed
wistfully out of
the school-room
window. Beyond
the big kitchen-
garden was a
field where three
coloured cows were standing in a pool, and
flicking at the flies with their tails.

The Hero Amuses Himself

"I wish I was a cow," said Davie,
"then I shouldn't need to stay indoors
and learn this old Table. I could paddle
in that pool all the time. That would be
nice!"
A bee came and buzzed against the win-
dow-pane outside. He buzzed his nose
against the glass again and again. Where-
upon Davie said:
"You must be a very stupid little bee to
want to get inside when it is so nice out-
side. I'm here for a punishment, and of
course I don't like it. Only, the holidays
are to-morrow, and the governess is away
home for six weeks."
The bee soon flew away. Either he
didn't like the look of things inside, or the
glass didn't taste nice.
Davie felt hot and tired. Still, he liked
to obey Mother, and so he had made up his
mind to go on with his lesson,-when an

Just Forty Winks

odd thing happened. A little black ball
spun itself across the floor.
Davie sat up and watched. Out it came
again, with a dart here and there; then in
behind the black-board.
"What fun!" said Davie in an excited

whisper; "a jolly little mouse.
out where he lives."
He searched behind the

I must find

black-board,

under the table, and into the cupboard.
No use; neither the mouse, nor the house
where the mouse lived, did he find.
But he found a piece of chalk.

S
13

"UCtS r

The Hero Amuses Himself

"This will do to draw a squirrel on the
black-board," he said.
Davie's great desire was to draw a squirrel.
There was a stuffed squirrel on the top of
the school-room cupboard.
Silence for a time. Then Davie said:
"I wonder why a squirrel makes his tail
like that? I think the proper way to wear
a tail is to hang it down. I can't draw an
old tail when it hangs up. Stupid thing!"
Davie flung the chalk into the cupboard
and went over to the window. The cows
were still standing in the pool; and now
two children were swinging on a gate in the
lane. The girl sat on the topmost bar,
while the little boy swung the gate to and
fro. What fun they were having!
"I'll do that to-morrow," said Davie;
"just see if I don't. The holidays begin
to-morrow. Then I can swing on a gate
all day!"

;"/

c~;P~ ~h
;7

Lc
"~.
rs.
~...
r.
~-
-~ r
V
Ic L~
da

\

:///
5~1~L ~-C ~
1
;---i-

~s: ~
~ -~ '~~~
'~ ~-1."
1.
~z
,~I
~r~l:!' \

""''

:

:.:-; ~d

The Hero Amuses Himself

Meanwhile it was very hot, and dull, and
drowsy, here in the school-room. The little
boy wondered how he could pass the time.
"I know," he cried. "I'll say over all
the rhymes in my new picture-book. That
will be nicer than saying over this old
Multiplication Table."
So he sat well back in the big arm-chair,
placed the arithmetic-book over his eyes,
and began to repeat the rhymes one by one.
Now he had just got the length of say-
ing:
Old King Cole
Was a merry old Soul,

when the oddest thing happened.
The arithmetic-book was whipped off his
eyes!

(M405) D

DAVIE started up and looked round.
What he saw surprised him very
much. He rubbed his eyes hard to make
quite sure that there was no mistake.
"What a silly little boy I am!" he ex-
claimed; "I thought just now that I was
sitting in Miss Green's chair in the school-
room. But I am not. That must have
been a dream."
He pinched himself to make sure that he
was now awake.
"This is not a dream," he said; "it is
real enough, and I like it much better."

The Lane that had no Turn

He was sitting on the steep bank of a
lane; behind him was a thick wood with
great trees, and just overhead was a branch
upon which sat an old Squirrel. He had a
book in his hand-the arithmetic-book which
had just been whipped off Davie's eyes.
The old Squirrel sat with one leg over the
other, while he took his spectacles from the
inside pocket of his thick brown coat and
put them on.
Seeing Davie look up at him with a happy
face of innocence, the old gentleman said:
"Is this a nice book, little boy? After
the autumn nuts are all gathered I'm going
to get a holiday. Would this do to read
in the train?"
"Oh, no," said Davie, "it is only an
arithmetic-book. You would find it very
dry and hard."
But I am fond of hard things," said the
Squirrel. "I like nuts, and conundrums,

28 Just Forty Winks
and acrostics. I think this book will just

: I. r:-

suit me. Here is a little lesson about Vulgar
Actions."
Davie thought that the old gentleman was

The Lane that had no Turn

wrong, but he was much too polite to con-
tradict anyone who wore spectacles.
"Then there is some poetry here," said
the Squirrel.
Davie thought this must be altogether
wrong. So, after a little hesitation he said:
"I rather think you must be mistaken,
Mr. Squirrel; there is never any poetry in
an arithmetic-book."
"There is poetry in this one," said the
Squirrel, as he looked down at Davie over
his spectacles. It is written at the end in
pencil, and reads like this:
Multiplication is vexation,
Division is as bad;
Pea-soup for tea doth guzzle me,
But pudding makes me glad.
That seems to be very pretty poetry," said
the Squirrel, especially the last line. Did
you write it, little boy?"
The poet blushed and nodded, although he

30 Just Forty Winks
felt almost sure that the Squirrel had made
a mistake in
the reading.
"Yes, it is
very good; but
iI don't like the
word guzzle. It
isvulgar. Alter
it in the next
edition. Well,
I'll take this
book. Here is
a Compound
"-.. Distraction
story. It will
V lked off without do nicely to
yin~l~ ? rphyot send measleep
in the train."
So the Squirrel put his tail in between
the leaves to keep the place, and walked off
without saying thank you ".

The Lane that had no Turn

"Well, I don't care," said Davie, as he
gazed after the old gentleman; "it is only
an arithmetic-book. And the holidays are
to-morrow, so I shall not need it for six
weeks."
Then he rose to his feet and went down
the steep bank into the lane. It seemed a
very long lane, for he could not see the
end of it in either direction, and he was not
quite sure which way to take.
But just at this moment an old man,
with a sack upon his back, came out through
the gate of a clover field. Davie ran after
him and said breathlessly:
"Could you tell me which way-?"
"Always say lease when you ask a ques-
tion. It doesn't cost any more."
The old man looked angrily at Davie, and
buzzed.
"Oh II beg your pardon, Mr. Bee. I
really didn't know it was you, and I was in

32 Just Forty Winks

such a hurry. Please tell me which way I
should take to get home."
It doesn't matter a broken sting which
way you take," said the Bee. Both ends
of this lane come out at the very same spot.
This is the long lane that has no turn.
But you mustn't bother me, little boy, for
I'm very busy. I've got to get this honey
home to-night."
"I like honey," said Davie with eager-
ness, for he could think of nothing nicer
than that to say.
"Oh! I dare say you do," quoth the Bee
with a buzz. Most likely you will be one
o' Them."
"Please tell me who is Them," said
Davie. "I don't think I have ever heard
of Them before."
"Here is one o Them a-coming along
just now," answered the Bee as he looked
on ahead.

The Lane that had no Turn

A reckless young Butterfly was skim-
ming towards them on a bicycle. He wore

an eye-glass, and smoked a cigar. The
Butterfly nodded as he passed, and shouted:
"Fine afternoon, Bee. Capital weather
for the honey harvest. Lots of money
in the bank this year,-eh?" and then
skimmed on.
(M 405)

Just Forty Winks

"That is always the way with Them,"
said the Bee with an angry buzz, "always
talking about honey and money. And they
don't never make any. Lies a-bed in the
morning, does Them, gads all over the
country in the afternoon, and calls for honey
at supper-time. Writes poetry, that chap
does. Stopped me in the middle of my
work yesterday, and says he:
The Queen was in the Counting-House,
Filling eggs with money;
The King was in the Parlour,
Eating toasted honey.
'Very good, isn't it?' says that there
young gadabout of a Butterfly. 'And quite
original,' says he. 'Yes, very good FOR
THEM,' says I. But I must be going, little
boy. We shall have very hard times this
winter. The sugar is up."
"You mean that it is up on the top
shelf?"

The Lane that had no Turn

Davie was thinking of the sugar in the
nursery cupboard. But the old Bee looked
at him suspiciously, and began to search in
his coat-tail pocket for his sting.
Yet Davie was quite innocent-looking as
he added:
All the very nicest things are on the top
shelf, you know."
"Oh yes! I know that," said the Bee.
"But I must be' going, for I'm very
busy."
"But don't you get any holidays, Mr.
Bee? I get six weeks."
Half an hour at Christmas if the honey
sells well. That is all we get from Them.
Good-bye. I must be going. This stuff is
oozing through the sack, and all my back is
sticky."
"Couldn't you carry it in a jar? said
Davie. "I'll get you one. We have lots oi
empty honey-jars at home."

36 Just Forty Winks
"Well, you are a stupid little boy," said
the Bee as he went away along the lane
buzzing.

4.?

HE needn't have been so very buzzy,"
said Davie, as he looked after the Bee
and saw how straddled his legs were, "r
was going to give him the jar for nothing.
However, I don't much care."
Then he looked up the lane and down the
lane.
If this lane has no turn it really doesn't
matter which way I go," he said, "so I'll
shut my eyes, turn round three times, and
then go straight on."
Having done so, Davie soon came within
hearing of a great creaking noise.

Just Forty Winks

"I shall have to see who is making that
noise," he said.
So Davie went along the lane until he
came to a gate leading into a field. An old
red-and-white Cow sat on the topmost bar,
while a little Dog pushed the gate to and
fro recklessly. Every time that the gate
bumped, the Cow found it necessary to hold
on her large cap, even although it was tied
under her chin with pink strings.
Davie thought they were having great
fun, as he stood looking on with his hands
behind' his back. Then the Cow cried to
him in a very hoarse whisper:

Stay! Diddle-Diddle, I'll read.you a riddle,
A riddle brought down from the Moon;
If I was a fiddle, and you was -

"Please, Mrs. Cow," said Davie quickly,
"Diddle-Diddle is not my name. You must
take me for some other little boy."

Davie meets three Fiddlers

The law of this lane is, that you mustn't
speak to the Cow on the gate," said the little
Dog with a snap.

"Oh! I beg pardon," said Davie politely,
"please go on with the riddle."
"We are not making riddles," replied the
(M405) F

42 Just Forty Winks
Cow in a cracked voice. No time for that.
Don't you see that we are turning the milk?
Half a turn when it is only skim milk. We
are turning the skim milk just now."
"I heard Mother say at dinner to-day
that the milk was turned," said Davie, "but
I didn't know before how it was done."
"Of course you didn't!" snarled the Dog.
"Little idle boys who run about when people
are working never do know anything."
The Dog kept on swinging the gate.
Everybody seems to be so busy in this
lane! Do you never get any holidays, Mrs.
Cow?" asked Davie.
Never heard of such a thing," said the
Cow. Sweet milk twice a day all the year
round, and skim milk extra on Friday."
"That is the curriculum," added the little
Dog morosely.
"Please to tell me what you mean by a
curriculum?" said Davie.

Davie meets three Fiddlers

No notice was taken of this question-
they were both too busy turning the skim
milk. So Davie thought
he ought to go away,
but before doing this
he said: AO---

Please, Mrs. Cow, may I ask why your
tail stands out so straight? You wear it the
same way as the Cow in my nursery-rhyme-
book at home."
Oh! do you like it?" said the Cow with
a blush and a giggle. I have worn it like

44 Just Forty Winks
that ever since I made the grand tour round
the Moon. That is the fashion in tails up
there, you know."
In the very highest circles," added the
little Dog, with a wink of his tail.
"I have heard about that funny journey,"
said Davie quickly, for he wanted the Dog
to know that he knew something. "Wasn't
there a little dog that laughed when you
jumped over the Moon?"
He's him," said the Cow, pointing at
the little Dog with her right horn.
I shouldn't have thought it," said Davie,
for he was a truthful boy. "He looks so
melancholy, I never should have thought
that he could laugh."
"He only did it once," said the Cow.
"His tail had never heard such a thing, and
didn't know what the laugh was about. So
they quarrelled about that laugh. They are
not on speaking terms even yet. But you

Davie meets three Fiddlers

must go away, little boy, for the skim milk
is just done to half a turn, and we never
add the water until Tom Peep is in
bed."
So Davie walked away along the lane
until he saw a tall Lad standing in the
middle of the road. As he went nearer,
Davie could see that the Lad had two large
feet, but only one leg. On his white smock
there was printed: No ROAD; TRESPASSERS
WILL BE PROSECUTED.
Davie stood a moment, and then he said
meekly:
Please, may I go past?"
The Lad with the one leg glared at Davie
with eyes that shone like coloured glass
marbles, but spoke never a word.
I am not looking for birds' nests, and
I won't carry away any of the trees," said
Davie earnestly.
At this the big Lad scowled, and flung his

Just Forty Winks

arms about so that they creaked horribly.
Whereupon Davie turned and fled.

When he had got to a safe distance he
looked round. The Lad was now grinning
with a great grin that stretched from one

Davie meets three Fiddlers

side of the lane even unto the other. When
he saw Davie looking he shut up the grin
promptly, as if it were a concertina with a
hole in it.
He is a very rude boy that," said Davie,
"and I don't like the look of his teeth.
But it doesn't really matter whether I go
along that way or not. I'll go the other way.
They both come out at the same place."
So he went along the lane in the other
direction, until he met an old man and his
two sons. They each carried a fiddle in a
small green bag. Davie knew that they
were fiddles, because he had seen a blind
man in the village that forenoon with a
fiddle in just such a bag.
It is no use going in that direction, Mr.
Mouse," said Davie to the oldest of the
three fiddlers. "There is no road that way.
I have just seen the printed notice. You
had better turn."

Just Forty Winks

"I always go where there is no road,"
said the Mouse in a squeaky voice. "Al-
ways. That is a rule of mine."
But you will be prosecuted," replied
Davie, although he had only a very dim
idea of what that meant.
"That is what I like," said the Mouse;
"it makes good fun when you are prose-
cuted. But you shouldn't heed these notices.
I never do. Just shut one eye and they
disappear."
But why are the notices there," asked
Davie, and who is it that puts them up ?"
"Some idle people put them up for a
joke, a very transparent joke. They have
nothing better to do."
Oh! I didn't know," said Davie; "but
please you might tell me what is a trans-
parent joke?"
"A kind of a nice joke that smells of
toasted cheese and tastes of thread," and

Davie meets three Fiddlers

the Old Mouse chuckled while his two sons
grinned. But let us be going," he said,
"or we shall be late. We play at a picnic
to-night."

(M405)

LEASE
you might let
me go along
with you, Mr.
SMouse?" said
Davie earnestly. "I like a picnic."
Have you a ticket?" said Mr. Mouse.
"I rather think not," said Davie, after
searching in all his pockets twice.
"Well, then, does anybody expect you?"
I'm afraid not," replied Davie after he
had thought it over.
Have you a Swallow-Tail?"
The little boy shook his head sadly.
"Then that is all right," said the Old

Going to an Evening Picnic 51
Mouse briskly; you can come. Always go
where you are not asked, and stay when you
are not wanted. Always. That is another
rule of mine."

So these four went gaily along the lane
until they came to a stile.
"Let us get over here," said the Old
Mouse. "The main avenue is for the
Swallow-Tails; the stile is for the Vaga-
bond who can use it. And your true artist
is always a Vagabond. Always."

Just Forty Winks

Whereupon he bowed to Davie with a
sweep of his feathered cap.
The Three Fiddlers were very chatty as

they strolled with Davie down the mea-
dow.
"You might not think it to look at us,
Master Trot, but I assure you that we three
have seen better nights," said the Old
Mouse. "We have entertained the Crowned

Going to an Evening Picnic 53
Heads of Europe,-chiefly in their night-
caps. There was Old King Cole. We
were, as you may have heard, his famous
Fiddlers Three."
"I have heard of that," said Davie. "But
why did you leave?"
"We didn't leave," said the Old Mouse
mournfully; "we were evicted without
compensation. 'Twas the Queen who set
the business going. She objected to large
families."
And you had only two sons!" said Davie
indignantly.
Oh dear no! I had a few more. At
the last Census there were some seven hun-
dred and seventy-seven of us behind one
wainscot. The children made a good deal
of noise at bed-time, and the Queen is a
light sleeper. King Cole himself didn't
object, for he is a heavy sleeper. About
eighteen stone and a half, I think."

54 Just Forty Winks
"And so they sent you all away?" asked
Davie.
"All of us who answered to our names
when the roll was called. We had run
short of names, so that some of the lads
couldn't answer. They stayed on. But it
was a bad business. One of my sons here
wrote a poem about it."
Please let me hear it," said Davie. I
like poetry."
"Very good," said the Old Mouse, "let
us slip through this hedge into the wood.
I like to take my poetry under a tree."
When they were all seated in the wood,
where the bright grass was all a-dance with
shadows, Mr. Mouse said to his youngest son:
"The proper way for a poet to recite his
own poetry is to hold one hand straight
down, fling the other hand straight out,
cast back his head, and throw his chest
forward. Now begin, and let our young

Going to an Evening Picnic

friend hear the kind of poetry which comes
from having a very free education."

o

-l. ...

So the clever Young Mouse stood up
stiffly and recited this poem:

Just Forty Winks

THE BRA VES OF A MIOUSEHOLD.

They fought and frolicked side by side;
They sang the midnight glee;
Now they are severed far and wide,-
As dinner is from tea.

One strolled abroad in scarlet vest,
In scarlet vest arrayed;
The Grey Cat made his place of rest
Without nor pick, nor spade.

The trap, the baited trap, hath one;
HE lies where cheese lay meek;
Boldest was he of all, yet none
Heard aught of his last squeak.

One, by the kitchen tongs compressed,
Was most ignobly slain;
His hands he folded on his breast,
And never smiled again.

At this moment there was a quick rust-
ling in the wood behind, and a. rough voice
cried:

ing there a tortoise-shell Gamekeeper in
gaiters. He had a gun over his shoulder,
and a bag full of blackbirds.
(n 406) 1

Just Forty Winks

"Please, Mr. Puss," said the little boy
politely, "we are only having a little open-
air recitation."
But I can't have anything open here,"
replied the Gamekeeper, while his whiskers
bristled, "for this is the close season. Ah!
you vagabond," he added, turning upon the
Old Mouse, did I not put you out of the
palace last week? And here you are again
in the King's preserves. The Queen will
have you hanged this time."
But we haven't touched anything," said
Davie. "We didn't see any preserves."
It doesn't matter," replied the Game-
keeper, "you must go before the King. So
march, double-quick."
They were haled round to the back gate
of the palace, and the Gamekeeper locked
them in a room near the stables.
This is how a game-keeping world treats
its great men," said the Old Mouse wearily;

Going to an Evening Picnic

"we belong to the Great Misapprehended.
But I am not going to stay here. I always
go when I am asked to stay. Always. That
is a rule of mine."
At this he went round and examined the
room carefully.
"Only wainscot," chuckled the Old Mouse,
after tapping the walls, "and mere wire-
netting on the windows. We shall be able
to manage that all right. Have you a knife,
little boy?"
No," said Davie, but Father has pro-
mised to give me one if I behave well
during the holidays."
To which the Old Mouse replied very
solemnly:
"Always carry a knife with three blades,
a file, a button-hook, and a corkscrew.
Always. Then you are prepared for what-
ever hap may happen."
Each of the Three Fiddlers had a knife

62 Just Forty Winks
neatly sewed up in the lining of his waist-
coat. These they ripped out, and in three
minutes they had made three holes in three
corners of the room.
"Good-bye, little boy," said the Old
Mouse; "you might have come with us to
the evening picnic if you had brought a
knife sewed up in your waistcoat. Remem-
ber to do so the next time."
The Three Fiddlers disappeared just as
the door was flung open and the Game-
keeper came in.
"Where are the other vagabonds?" he
asked, looking fiercely at Davie.
There was, at that moment, a sudden
merry squeaking behind the wainscot, sup-
pressed laughter, and the joyous tuning of
three triumphant fiddles.
"Ah! you are in there, are you?" cried
the Gamekeeper. "Very well. You have
escaped just now, but I'll catch you yet."

Going to an Evening Picnic 63
Then he turned to Davie and said: "Come
with me, little boy, I want you to do a sum
in arithmetic."

DAVIE followed the Gamekeeper across
the courtyard and into the kitchen of
the palace. Here they found the king's
Cook making pie-crust. Her hands were
very white, and her face was very red.
"I tell you there are only twenty-three
blackbirds," she said fiercely to the Game-
keeper; "and I ought to know, for I've been
to a Board School."
Board Schools are no good," replied the
Gamekeeper with scorn. I say that there
are twenty-five blackbirds. You can singe
my whiskers else."

In the King's Back-Parlour

"Please don't quarrel," said Davie, "and
I'll count them."
The blackbirds were lying in a heap on
the floor. So Davie laid
them out in rows-six in
each row. There were
exactly four rows.

You are both wrong," said the little boy,
after he had made a long calculation on his
fingers; four times six are twenty-four."
I don't believe it," cried the Cook hotly.
" I've, been to a Board School, and I know
better."
"But that is what the Multiplication
Table says," put in Davie meekly.
(M 405) I

Just Forty Winks

"Tables don't count here," said the Game-
keeper savagely, "nor chairs either. 'Tis
blackbirds we are after, and I say there are
twenty-five on that floor."
"A blackbird pie to set before the king
and only twenty-three blackbirds to put in
it!" cried the Cook. "Why, there never
was such a thing happened before!-never!
There have always been twenty-four black-
birds,-always! And this the king's birth-
day too! Somebody will be hanged before
night!"
At this the Gamekeeper flung out of the
kitchen, and pulled Davie after him by the
collar of his jacket. Then as they crossed
the courtyard he said:
If you had known how to count twenty-
five blackbirds properly, little boy, I would
have let you go free. But as you are a very
ignorant lad I must take you before Old
King Cole, to be punished."

In the King's Back-Parlour

So Davie was marched round to the main
entrance of the palace. Two white Rabbits

stood sentry,-one on either side of the
doorway. They were under the command
of Corporal Hare.
"Halt!" cried the Corporal, "and give
the password."

INs~~y

Just Forty Winks

"SIXWEEKSHOLIDAYS," said the
Gamekeeper in a loud voice.
"Pass," said the Corporal, while the two
white Rabbits presented their right legs,
and touched their left ears.
Davie and the Gamekeeper passed into
the palace, and wandered upstairs, down-
stairs, and along corridors, until they were
very, very tired. Crowds of servants were
hurrying to and fro, but they gave no heed
to the Gamekeeper's questions.
"Can you tell me," he said sharply to a
Young Crow, "can you tell me where to
find His Majesty?"
"You mean the Merry Old Buffer?"
chuckled the Young Crow.
"I'll report you to the King," said the
Gamekeeper.
Find him first," said the Young Crow
as he strutted away.
At length Mr. Puss lost temper.

In tIe King's Back-Parlour 69
Look here," he said desperately, making
a clutch at an Old Crow in a white neck-tie

J-4
UMWN
,i:i o osP

and buckled shoes, "I want to know where
to find the King."
The Crow, who was carrying an empty
silver flagon under his wing, blinked and
replied with a squawk:

r

Just Forty Winks

Five storeys up, the third landing, and
the seventh door along the ninth corridor."
"Hold on to all them figures," cried
the Gamekeeper to Davie as the Old Crow
shuffled away; "this is a more seriouser
business than counting the blackbirds."
As they went upstairs Davie repeated the
instructions aloud, and checked off the
storeys, the landings, the doors, and the
corridors on his fingers. When they had
arrived at the seventh door along the ninth
corridor, they found a great brass plate on
which was the inscription:

Zbe ikfng's private JBac--DParlour.
NO ADMITTANCE
UNLESS YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS.

When the Gamekeeper saw this notice
(which he could not read), he was more
afraid to enter than Davie.
"I shall let you off this time, little boy,"

In the King's Back-Parlour

said Mr. Puss, "if you promise never to do
it again."
"But I never did anything, so I can't
promise," replied Davie stoutly.
"Very well. In you must go. Is my
face clean?"
No," said Davie the Truthful, "it might
easily be made cleaner."
So the Gamekeeper sat down on the door-
mat and washed his face with great care,
and trimmed his whiskers. Then he
knocked at the door of the King's Private
Back-Parlour.
"Come in," cried a big voice, "if you
have no business."
The Gamekeeper, who was all trembling,
marched his prisoner inside.
Please, your Majesty," he began, with
a scrape and a bow, I found this vaga-
bond in among your Majesty's preserves."
Old King Cole was sitting on a low three-

Just Forty Winks

legged stool very close to the fire, smoking.
He looked up with a jolly frown and said:

"Found. him among the jam-pots, did
you? Well, that is nothing new, sir. Why
bother me with such a trifle? Go away!"
"Begging your most gracious Majesty's

In the King's Back-Parlour

pardon, but I have strict orders from the
Queen to-"
Begone!" cried the King in a fury, "and
leave the lad. I will talk to him myself."
The Gamekeeper shot out of the door in
such a hurry that he jammed his tail. At
which the King fell into a great laughter,
during which his pipe went out. He lit it
again with a red-hot poker drawn from the
fire.
I am only allowed one box of matches
in the month," said his Majesty, by way of
explanation, "and the month's supply is
done. I get a new box to-morrow."
"Why, I thought a King could get any-
thing he wanted, at any time he liked!" said
Davie in astonishment.
"Not if he has a Queen," replied King
Cole, more especially if that same Queen
was born Lady Marjory Daw, eldest and
only daughter of my Lord Jack Daw."
(M 405) K

Just Forty Winks

"Oh! I have heard of Marjory Daw,"
said Davie brightly. "Didn't she use to
see-saw?"
"She does it yet," replied the King
mournfully. Her Majesty finds it neces-
sary for her health to change her mind sixty
times in the minute. What is your name,
little boy?"
Davie Trot, so please your Majesty."
"Oh! it pleases me very well," said the
King, "but I'm afraid it is not aristocratic
enough for the Queen."
"Please tell me what you mean by aris-
tocratic," asked Davie eagerly, for he was
one of the little boys who like their own
names. He thought there could not be a
nicer name than Davie Trot.
I know nothing about it," said the King;
"I began life very low down myself. So
low down that where I come from the
people have no grandfathers. But I climbed

In the King's Back-Parlour

up by being merry. And another thing. I
formed the habit of playing pitch-and-toss
after dinner, and that gave me the entry
into the Best Society."
"Please to tell me, your Majesty, how
you knew the Best Society when you saw
it?" said Davie.
I didn't know it," replied the King;
"they told me themselves that they were the
Best Society. They always do; because
you wouldn't know it otherwise."
"That is kind of them," replied the boy
quickly.
Well, it was in the Best Society that I
met Lady Marjory Daw. The first day
she saw me Lady Marjory changed the
spelling of my name; the next day she
made me a King; and the next day we were
married."
"Then the Queen didn't see-saw that
day?" said Davie.

76 Just Forty Winks
"Oh yes, she did," said the King;
Marjory Daw was see-sawing in the very
church!"
"Well, I hope Queen Cole will like my
name, because-"
"Oh! but you mustn't call her oy that
name," said the King anxiously. "That is
a hanging business. You must call her
the Queen of Black Diamonds. She thinks
that is far more aristocratic. Now, you'll
remember?"
"Yes, I shall," said Davie, "if my
memory doesn't forget."
"Then let us be going," said Old King
Cole, "for my half-hour is up. I am
allowed one smoke during the afternoon in
the Back-Parlour. Only, I must smoke up
the chimney, as you see. The Queen doesn't
like the smell of it in the palace. 'Tis a
low-bred practice, she says, while I think
that to smoke is quite natural. All the

In the King's Back-Parlour 77
Coles have smoked. Well, we must be
going," and the King knocked the ashes
from his pipe with a sigh.

JUST as they got to the door his Majesty
said:
By the way, Davie Trot, do you know
anything about golf?"
"Oh, yes, my Father plays sometimes,
and I carry his clubs."
"That is all right," said the King briskly;
"I have been looking for a nice little boy
to be Caddie-in-Waiting to her Majesty.
But I must give you a title, for the Queen

- -P j j W T -lo --,.

The Great Golf Tournament

never speaks to anybody under a Knight.
Would you like to be a Knight?"
Davie nodded, although he didn't know a
Knight from a Dey.
"Well, then," said the King, "have you
been Lord Mayor of Little Pedlington?"
Davie shook his head.
Or patented a new shoe-buckle, or made
a bridge to Australia? You haven't? Well,
you have at least entertained the King for
ten minutes. That is an excellent reason.
We have always to give some little kind of
a reason when we make a Knight. So down
on your knees, little boy."
Then the King seized the poker, and
approached Davie, who was trembling with
excitement. Whereupon the merry Old Soul
fell into a great laughter when he saw the
scared face of the boy.
"Why, it won't hurt anybody, a title
won't," said the King; it only feels a little
(M 405) L

82 Just Forty Winks
stiff at first. But you get used to it. Now
then:
Rise zup, Sir Davie Trot,"
and the King tapped him gracefully on the
shoulder with the poker.
So Sir Davie rose to his feet and followed
the King downstairs, and out on to a wide
stone terrace in front of the palace. Below
them on the lawn was a bright crowd of
Lords and Ladies; and a silver trumpet was
blown three times as the King appeared.
"The Grand Golf Tournament for the
Queen's diamond is just about to begin,"
said the King. Do I smell of smoke, Sir
Davie?"
"Just a very little, your Majesty," said
the truthful boy after he had sniffed all
round the King.
Here, you idle knaves," cried the King,
"come and fan me before I meet her
Majesty."

The Great Golf Tournament
Several over-fed
young Peacocks
in dazzling livery
strutted forward
and fanned his
Majesty all over
with their tails.
"There, that will do," said the
King. Follow me,
Sir Davie."
Then they marched
down the IA

lawn, and all the
company bowed
full low as his

Just Forty Winks

IF
VP

'r VV

Majesty ap-
proached.
Late as
usual," cried
her Majesty
who was tall
and thin and
rather sour-
looking.
"True," said
his Majesty
humbly, but

.'.. ... .. ..

The Great Golf Tournament

here is my excuse," and he turned to
the little boy.
"Who is this?" asked the Queen as she
examined Davie through her tortoise-shell
eye-glass.
Sir Davie Trot, our latest Knight, and
your Majesty's Caddie-in-Waiting, if it so
please your Majesty."
He is very short," said the Queen after
she had peered at the boy.
"Why, what would you have? 'Tis a
Midsummer Knight," and the merry Old
Soul. laughed a mighty laugh.
At this the Queen turned her eye-glass
upon him with an astonished stare: where-
upon his Majesty fel6 into a sudden great
melancholy.
"Go up to the Club-House and get my
clubs, Sir Davie," said the Queen, and she
marched away with a haughty toss of her
crowned head.

86 Just Forty Winks
As Davie was entering the Club-House,
which was near at hand, he met another
little boy with a set of clubs in a silk bag.
So he said:
"Where shall I find the Queen's clubs,
please?"
"Ask the Knave of Clubs," replied the
other lad; "and if you look sharp I'll wait
for you."
The Knave of Clubs scowled as Davie
asked him for the Queen's clubs.
So you are the new Caddie-in-Waiting,"
he said. "Well, I shouldn't like to be you.
The last boy was hanged and quartered."
"Why, what did he do?" asked Davie
anxiously.
"Told the Queen that she had got into a
bunker. That is a hanging business here.
You mustn't even whisper 'bunker' at the
court of Old King Cole. It is a kind of
poor relation, you know-belongs to the old

The Great Golf Tournament

days before the king changed the spelling
of his name;" and the Knave chuckled as

he gave Davie the clubs in an embroidered
silk case.

Just Forty Winks

When he went outside the other boy was
still waiting, and he said to Davie in a very
slow superior
manner:
"What may
your name be,
Co little boy?"
MY JHe himself
nme was just half
an inch taller
than Davie.
Sir Davie
Trot," was the
ir' prompt reply,
Tb Trout as the speaker
stretched his
neck; for the title, being new, was a little
stiff.
My name is Sir Thomas Trout, K.C.B.,
and I am Caddie-in-Chief to the King," said
the other boy as he strutted along.

The Great Golf Tournament

"Oh! I think I have heard of you before,"
said Davie. "Had you anything to do
with a pussy cat that fell into a well?"
"Of course I had! I was a very little
boy then, and they called me Tommy Trout.
I dived into the palace-well and rescued the
Queen's Persian cat. It was in all the
newspapers, and I was interviewed."
That was very brave of you," said Davie
with enthusiasm.
"Oh! it doesn't hurt so much if you
interview yourself. That is how I did it;
and a friend who owed me a jam-tart got
it put into a newspaper that owed him
chocolate."
"But it was rave of you to dive into the
well," said Davie.
"Oh! that didn't matter much," replied
Sir Thomas airily. "It was during the
holidays, and I had on my old clothes. My
teeth chattered a good deal certainly, but
(M 405) M

90 Just Forty Winks
the .King, when I was brought before him
all dripping, made me a Knight Commander
of the Bath on the spot."
Davie was silent for a moment, and then
he said:
Please tell me how you command in a
bath?"
Why, what a silly question to ask!" ex-
claimed Sir Thomas. "But there, the Grand
Golf Tournament is just about to begin."

A T this moment a silver bugle sounded,
and Corporal Hare fired off two brass
cannon from the terrace.
"Does the Queen drive off first?" said
Davie, for if so I must be going."
Oh! you needn't hurry," said Sir
Thomas. "She used to drive off first,-but
by an Act of Parliament passed last week
they stopped all that. Her Majesty changed
her club and her mind so often that the
players couldn't get on. There was like to
be a Revolution, and that, you know, would
have brought down the Carboniferous
Dynasty."

92 Just Forty Winks
"I think that would have been very sad.
But what is a Carboniferous Dynasty?"
asked Davie.
"Well, I never saw one myself," replied
Sir Thomas Trout, K.C.B. "But I think
you may believe me when I say that it is a
very wild kind of bird. It builds in a Geo-
logical Tree, and you bring it down with a
catapult, or a revolution, or anything of that
sort."
"Oh! now I understand," said Davie.
You see that boisterous fellow driving
his ball? That is my Lord Topsy. His
partner, that whirlwind of a Girton girl
smoking the cigarette, is the Honourable
Lady Betty Turvy. They belong to the
very fastest set of players. Lord Topsy
thinks the King too slow, and Betty Turvy
is all for an Electrical Republic. You
follow me, of course?"
"Yes," said Davie, a little doubtfully.

A Game of See-saw

"That very stout gentleman playing now
is the Duke of Humpty-Dumpty. The

.1""

Duke is the head of the Government, but
he will have a great fall one of these days,
so 'tis said. The King is his partner, so I
must be going. Ta, ta, little boy," and Sir

94 Just Forty Winks
Thomas Trout, Knight Commander of the
Bath, strutted across the lawn.
When all the fast players had driven off
their balls they were followed by the slow
players. Among the very slowest of these
was the little Lady Ethelberta Gladys
Gwendolen Nid, and her very tall partner,
the Marquis of Nod.
Then followed the Queen. Davie placed
the ball upon the tee, and the Queen, stoop-
ing down, examined the spot where it lay
through her eye-glass. Then she handed
the eye-glass to Davie, and prepared to
select a club. Her partner was my Lord
Jack Horner, and he was sitting on the
grass eating chocolate cream out of an
empty pie-dish.
"Would you recommend a cleek or a
niblick?" said the Queen.
It really doesn't matter," replied Lord
Jack, "for your Majesty always wins the

A Game of See-saw

game. But don't hurry, for I find that this
chocolate cream is very nice."
In half an hour the Queen had selected a

club. Then she examined the ball again
with her eye-glass to make sure that it was
still there. After which she swung her club
with a great wild swing,-and missed the
ball!

Just Forty Winks

Nevertheless the Queen stood on tiptoe
and glared away down the Course to mark
where the ball landed. But it did not land;
it still lay unharmed on the tee.
Then she turned to Davie and wrathfully
asked:
"What happened just now?"
"A foozle," replied Davie the Truthful.
"That is a vulgar word," rapped out her
Majesty, "a very vulgar word. It sounds
bad, and means nothing. It is only used
by the Lowest Orders."
Davie had always thought "foozle" a
good word, especially when spoken by his
father. Still, he was always anxious to
increase his knowledge. So he said, while
the Queen picked out another club:
Please tell me what is the proper word
for a miss like that."
"I call it a Coincidence," replied the
Queen.

A Game of See-saw 97

"A striking Coincidence in the case of

her Majesty!" added Lord Jack, with a
wink to Davie; "and not to be explained
(M 405) N

Just Forty Wzinks

by the ordinary rules of Good Society as
applied to gravitation."
Davie was not quite sure that he under-
stood this, but he said nothing.
With her next try the Queen was more
successful. But it was a very slow game;
because when her Majesty made a bad
drive, Lord Jack was careful to make a
worse.
At last the Queen drove her ball straight
into a sand-hole.
"What happened just now?" she de-
manded, for the Queen never knew how
she had played until she was told.
"Your Majesty has got into a-"
He was about to say bunker, when he
remembered the fate of the last Caddie-in-
Waiting.
Into a what?" demanded the Queen.
"I don't know what your Majesty calls
a sand-hole," replied Davie.

A Game of See-saw

"I call it Hard

Queen, as she went

Lines," snapped the

and lifted the ball out

of the hole, and put it down on a smooth

bit of turf.

The little boy was astonished at this

strange mode of playing golf.

"Please, you must not do that," he cried.

"'

...II,. ~
::
~~~
rr ..~...
"" -
-~~
""
~
.~
""' -

I00 Just Forty Winks
" It is against the rules, and my father says
that anyone who does that is-"
Is your father playing this game, or am
I?" demanded the Queen.
Davie admitted at once that the Queen
was playing this game; his father never
played such games.
"Then that settles it," said the Queen.
"Your father knows nothing about golf."
Long before they had made the first
round of the Course, the little boy was tired
of the slow game and the heavy clubs.
Therefore he was greatly pleased when he
heard the Queen exclaim:
Oh! this is too exciting a game for a hot
day, let us go and take a walk in the wood.
Sir Davie, take these clubs to the House."
Now when Davie arrived at the Club-
House, there was a terrible racket going on
inside. Standing on tiptoe he looked in at
the window, and there he saw the Knave of