Table of Contents

Visual Quality

Karaoke.

Opening. I did enjoy the little bit with Japanese emoticons for the “Oh~” “Nya~” part at the beginning. For the rest of the OP, it was fine. The colors changed depending on the scene and the positioning was fine. It wasn’t “fuck yeah, this karaoke rocks!” but more of a “yeah, this karaoke is decent.” impression that I got from it.

Ending. This seems a lot like the font they used in Tsuritama, which I was not a fan of. It’s still hard to read here, but at least the color isn’t AS shitty.

Typesetting.

Hot.

There was a color drain here too that the typesetting matched.

“Maiden Chaos”?

This is (Not) English.

I don’t really see why this wasn’t “Goodbye, Nyarlko!”

I guess this isn’t particularly necessary to typeset since they speak what it says.

Script Quality

Karaoke.

What the fuck does this mean?

Nice apostrophe use, fuckwits.

The “secondary voice” in the song is sometimes translated and sometimes not. If you guys can’t translate all of it, don’t be half-assed and only translate the few words you understand.

“I hope I can meet with the excitement, which is you” <- What?

I suppose other than that stupid line and the randomized capitalization the script for the ED was fine.

Main Script.

Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes. This is exactly the kind of writing I want to see in my Nyarlko anime. This gets the point across beautifully. It’s descriptive and humorous. Hatsuyuki (though they’re doing a v2) and Underwater-rori did not edit this line from the CR script and went with “there’s something wrong with her.” Come on, guys. Step it up.

I have yet to see Ahodomo’s release, but from their 01, I’m sure they have a cool line here like Commie does. Well, we’ll see when I get to theirs.

“You have no idea how pretty his girlfriend, Hydra, is!”

arch-nemesis or archnemesis. I’m afraid those are your only two options here.

“We went to Space Kindergarten and Space Elementary School together.”

or

“We went to space kindergarten and space elementary school together.”

The double space seems redundant, but it helps to get across the point that both schools were in “space” form.

The first line should be “You mean, a hug?” so the follow-up phrases make sense.

More like “Who is he to you?”

She calls him a boy in both Hatsuyuki’s and UW-rori’s releases, so I’m going to assume they’re right on this and that Commie is a bit off. If y’all want to argue about it in the comments, that’d probably solve the issue right quick~

its -> his, it -> him

See the previous comment.

“It’s based on an Earthling girl’s comic.”

Nice try, Commie, but “girls” isn’t singular.

Holy shit. I totally misinterpreted this line. It’s an ambiguity issue now, which is much less severe than a legit error. As it’s written you could misunderstand it (like I did) as “It’s based on an Earthling girl’s comic.” (as in a comic made by an Earthling girl) or you could read it as they intended “It’s based on an Earthling girls’ comic.” (as in it’s a comic FOR Earthling girls). Drop the ambiguity.

“It’s based on a comic made for Earthling girls.”

I do love these little touches Commie added to the script, making it more interesting. I’ll have a better idea of what exactly they added when I check out Underwater-rori’s release tomorrow and compare lines.

Timing Review

Incoming. When “Timing Critique” is added as a category, you’ll know this part is done.

Results.

Watchability: Watchable.

Timing Grade:

Visual grade: B+

Script grade: B

Overall grade (timing results not factored in): B

I’ll have to review the other releases when I wake up. I didn’t realize it was so late. (4 AM here)

Sure, there are exceptions. English is always about that shit. In this case? I don’t think so. Someone wouldn’t refer to themselves as an absurdity. (Yes, yes, I know. Cthulhu, etc., but she’s clearly playing a teenage girl throughout the show and not referring to herself as a “thing”.)

I might have given you the benefit of the doubt if the OP was good otherwise. But the OP clearly wasn’t given the slightest look by an editor or even given a spellcheck in Aegisub.

It was, actually (the same editor who worked on the rest of the show). The issue with the OP is that the font used doesn’t contain apostrophes so when styling it herkz had to change font every time one came up, and even by episode two he ended up missing a couple. They were included in the script but didn’t render. It’s a silly derp but it’s not an editing issue.

Yeah, I agree that the “Earthling girls’ comic” is fine. They’re conveying that it’s a comic for Earthling girls, not that it’s the comic of a particular Earthling girl. It could be phrased better to avoid the ambiguity, but it’s not wrong per se.

<Arnavion|work> She said “are” IIRC
<Arnavion|work> Commie’s right
<Orcus> In the Flash thing
<Arnavion|work> as in, she’s talking about him in a dehumanizing sort of way
<Orcus> She calls him “Shounen”
<Orcus> But yeah
<Orcus> The implication is she views him as a thing
<Arnavion|work> Well I’m going by memory
<Orcus> Not a person

Don’t ask me though, I never watched the original show or read the LNs

Kuko/Kuuko refers to Mahiro as “are” here, which can be translated as “that”, since “are” usually refers to objects or maybe animals. But that’s just my opinion as a not-TLer, so pls take that into account when you start bashing me

There’s not a 100% perfect way to do this, but as I understand it, Commie’s philosophy is to prioritize the understanding of the English viewer over preserving the intricacies of the original Japanese work. The way I see it, you have three options:

1. Maiden Chaos (benefits: preserves how it appears in Japanese, negatives: isn’t really English)
2. Maiden of Chaos (benefits: is English, negatives: adds in an “of” that the Japanese version didn’t have)
3. Chaos Maiden (benefits: preserves that there are only two words and is English, negatives: you’d have to typeset the opposite of what it is in Japanese)

It’s ateji, to elaborate. It’s as if she were saying, “I am the maiden that always crawls up to your side with a smile, Nyarlathotep!” except in this case “maiden” means “chaos” (or vice versa).

Yeah, it’s one of the weird things the Japanese do with word readings. What they have is correct, though maybe one or the other could have been put in parentheses, to clarify the “Say one thing, but mean another” aspect.

I’d just like to clarify on the lines where I used “it” instead of “he.”

As the other commenters pointed out, she’s using the Japanese word “are.” I was told that this is a pronoun for objects, not people. She deliberately refers to Mahiro as an object. She does this because she’s jealous of the relationship between Mahiro and Nyarlko. I don’t think there was any better way to handle this.

TBH, I can easily see a deity from the Cthulhu Mythos referring to a mere human child as “it”.
The other groups just decided to go with “him/he”, which makes you look like you’re in the wrong. (Or that you’re the only one right, maybe!)