Soccer Mascot Mutilates Trees For Show, Wins Instant Respect Of American Sporting Public

There’s a lot to love with this new Portland Timbers franchise, the latest organization to take the field in MLS play. They have a brand-new soccer-specific stadium, a rabid fanbase, a solid history, and perhaps the world’s first mascot that genuinely inspires fear. I’m referring to “Timber Joey,” who’s an honest-to-goodness logger. Joey Webber celebrates each Timbers goal by slicing off a piece of a giant log, which is later delivered to the lucky goal scorer.

Webber was born and raised in the timber town of Philomath, Ore., where he attended the School of Forestry as a youth. He competed in state forestry and timber competitions and ranked in several events including, pole climbing, jack double bucking, fire hose relays, axe throwing, log rolling and hot saw operation.

Growing up, Webber was also a competitive rugby player and was a member of the U.S. National Rugby Team’s U-19 pool for two years (1996-97). He competed as a bare-back bronco rider in the Northwest Professional Rodeo Association from 1996-2000, and the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association in 2000.

It is too early to call this guy the greatest mascot ever? Not sold yet? Here’s a nice promo video showcasing Joey and the Timbers’ “No Pity” motto. I wonder if that’s Timber Joey’s real truck. I’m sure there are a handful of jilted ladies in the greater Portland area that can help me out with that.