Astonishingly, a duck - a lame duck - has secured, with the assistance of its sworn opponents, a decision* to design and produce a new generation of nuclear weapons and the submarines to carry and deliver them.

The animal world is in awe of this duck - a lame duck.

The creature may also be unique in that it is married to 'The Ugly Duckling'. We are to be assured that this 'Ugly Duckling' will not evolve into a graceful swan.

It is further understood that The Admiralty has announced that the new submarines will be called the 'D' Class, with the Class Leader being named: H.M.S. Donald.

* = This decision is subject to being changed by the duck's joint leader, 'Gorgon' Brown, when he assumes the title of: Sole Prime Minister.