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The other day me and some friends were sitting in the pub and a mate of ours walked in and declared that the robot from the Honda advert had been in his work car park doing keepy uppies with a football !!

We all just nodded, he walked off and it then clicked what he just said.
A robot !!! Doing keepy uppies!!!

He also said once that Stephen Spielberg was driving down the street, wound down his window and yelled “Hello Graham” to my mate as he drove past.

are difficult creatures to associate with though. I had a friend who would tell lies all the time (not any more thankfully) just to make himself larger than life and really interesting I suspect. It kind of got embarrassing as you knew when he started a story it was bullshit but out of politeness you'd pretend to be interested/amazed at this story which clearly was bullshit. It's tragic really.

Who claimed that her polish grandmother managed to escape from a Nazi concentration camp by seducing Goebbels. Other lies she's told include singing for the pope, liz hurley complimenting her on her skin (in Toys R Us, where she was working), going to Anthony Head and Gillian Anderson's birthdays parties, and going to the brit awards. She kept me amused for ages with her drivel.

one girl would lie to cover up her mistakes. She once told me her dad had bought a "Pew-got" car. I told her she was pronouncing it wrong but she tried to persuade me that it was a different, special make of car.

My sister had a friend who said her dad kept cheetahs in a cage in their garden, which he sometimes ate.

Once he invited everyone round to watch a film or football or something, then retracted the invitation because his TV was broken and even "had green gas coming out of it". Then the next day he said his brother (age 13) had fixed it. That's not even one of his better ones, I just can't remember the others right now.

or at least i wouldnt call it lying...he talks shit like 90% of the time, and seems to be floating around in a world of unemployment and no-uni-ness...when with people he wouldnt normally hang around with, he feels the need to stand out by exaggerating EVERYTHING, or make up something like anecdotes which are not really true...sometimes i start repeating "STOP TALKING SHIT" but it makes me feel bad, cos hes like completely harmless...

who wasn't completely harmless. The basis of his story was usually true (he met someone, went somewhere) but the events that occur thereafter were always ridiculous. He reminded of that Simpsons when Homer claimed to have a photographic memory.

- She was accepted onto a gifted students programme in Sheffield (where he was at Uni), when she was actually studying two days a week in a local college and would then get the train to Sheffield every evening and sit outside his halls, pretending she's just been to Uni too

- She was one of triplets and was the only triplet to be put up for adoption

- She could get him and his friends (including ME) into a box at Maine Rd for the Manchester derby, which she weasel'd out of by pretending to fall down the cellar stairs at the hotel where the three of us worked (the ambulance staff told her to stop messing about and open her eyes)

I have a few stories from my past that I have used a bit of poetic licence with, but because they're both excellent stories and insanely funny, it doesn't really matter because I'm just trying to entertain people.

If I were to meet someone randomly I'd rather they lied about stuff and were interesting than told me that they sat in from of the computer all day.

“When I was a part time fireman we had a call from Fair-Oaks airport saying that a plane was coming to land but it couldn’t release the landing gear. We got the fire engine onto the runway and travelled underneath the airplane as it was coming close to land. I had to stand on the roof of the fire engine which was travelling really fast, reach up to the airplane which was flying a little over my head and actually pull the wheels out so it could land safely!”

+ he's had testicular cancer, not once but twice
+ he hit a teacher and then tried to get my mate to back him up about it when he was bragging about it to the rest of the pub - it failed
+ he knew blink 182 and had their numbers and frequently called them up
+ his american wife and child died in 9/11... he was only 21 at the time and had never been to America
+ he appeared on stage with slipknot
+ he says he talks to Mr Kayleia on MSN all the time, Mr Kayleia has no recollection of these chats

a girl i worked with for a short time at a warehouse packing place in neasden. every day she'd tell me a new story about how her father was working for the president of the united states. i did ask her why she was working for a mail order company but she, calmly and plainly as anything, said this was the only place she could work where she wouldnt be in any danger. she also said her mother miscarried while she was in the womb. oh famous people would apparently pop into the warehouse to visit her but i would always just miss them.

that once tried to convince me she was a twin. Apparently her twin sister lived in Jamaica and every year they'd switch places. She then made it very clear that I wasn't allowed to ask her twin sister about it, because it was top secret. In other words don’t ask me next year because I‘ll have forgotten about this stupid lie.

quite a lot. Usually little pointless stuff, but occasionally I'll tell a big lie. Usually when I'm bored and the person I tell it to is gullible. I don't tell mental lies like some mentioned here, usually stuff that will make my life easier/get me what I want.

I feel bad about a couple of lies I've told. The first was to a lecturer, and the other was to a girl I met on the internet. I feel especially bad about the second.