Thursday, February 21, 2008

The love of money...

A large trust fund was meant to set Francesca free. Instead she feels guilty, lonely and trapped...

May I humbly suggest, Francesca, that my PayPal Donate button is sitting in my sidebar and I am not too proud to take possession of some of your fortune; indeed, it will be a pleasure to thus ease your guilt and make you happier.

I'm generous like that.

I am more than happy to let you know what I spend it on, but here's a preview: a nice flat, an even more powerful Mac (kitted out with as much RAM and hard drive space as it'll take), a colossal amount of illegal drugs, 10,000,000,000 packets of Marlboro Red (enough for a year or so at current rates of consumption), some really excellent wine and a large donation to the Libertarian Party.

Come on: give it all to your friendly, neighbourhood Devil and, if you like, I shall even send you the receipts (where applicable)...

4 comments:

I heard you can even get clubcard points from some dealers now too, but, considering the last time I took any illegal drugs was over a decade ago I'm not sure if my less than legal mateys are just making that up...

Francesca is clearly a complete twat and if she'd like to make her life less unhappy I accept cash, cheques, vodka, sports cars, holidays, property and size 6 shoes. Or I could just take her on a whistlestop tour of my last 20 bank statements to make her realise what a complete fuckwit she actually is.

I can actually see where she's coming from, having had/got an overbearing Father myself. However, the similarity ends there. She's obviously not had/got the confidence to stand up for herself when it counted, and now feels guilt about accepting money from the object of her dislike (although not to the extent that she's prepared to stand up for her independence by getting and holding down a job 'somewhere', or by not living in his house some of the time).

I think the best thing she could do for herself is apply for an Australian Working Holiday Visa, 'lower' herself to taking say 5 grand of the trust fund, and get her butt to the other side of the World on a bit of an adventure and a long way away from either of her parents.

The whole experience ought to give her a confidence boost, and after the working any number of short-term jobs she could get easily over there, she'll be in a much better position to return to the UK and put her degree to good use.

Alternatively she may end up preferring Australia, where her degree could be put to equally good use, and the £500K trust fund would go twice as far as it would in the UK (given present exchange rates), and stuffy attitudes like her parents alleged ones are in short supply (and the local attitudes would reform her current 'Whinging Pom' outlook on life).