'True Blood': 'She's Not There' recap

True Blood's always been a show that revels in its twists and turns, and the season four premiere was no exception.

The episode opened with Sookie appearing in fairy-world, which was all soft-focus togas and hushed tones. After discovering that Claudine is actually Sookie's (really rather useless) fairy godmother, we meet Barry the bell boy again, who's very excited about his new home. Sookie doesn't seem as convinced, with good reason - this place might look like heaven, but it's creepy as hell. And then it's time for a good old-fashioned family reunion - Sookie and her grandfather. Here comes the kicker - he thinks he just saw her at her birthday party, but that was 20 years ago. The creepy music might have been overdoing it a touch, mind you.

Every good family reunion consists of a catch-up, but instead of hearing about the last place Sookie went on holiday, granddaddy Earl gets to find out about the death of his wife and Sookie's parents. Jolly. He's ever so confused about being there for 20 years as it only feels like a few hours, but for Sookie the lovely fairy-world is becoming something altogether more sinister, with gremlins, blood down the walls and maggots. She uses her mind to communicate that it's a trap, but seriously, Sookie - did you not realize that everyone in the room would be able to hear you? Of course, head-fairy Mab isn't too happy about all those accusations. Mab is definitely not someone you'd want to cross - she's not too happy about Sookie's dealings with vampires (although Sookie promises she won't go near them again, honest), and adds that fairies have spread too many seeds with humans. "Now it's time to harvest," she grins evilly. She tries to force Sookie to eat a creepy glowing fruit, but Sookie throws a tantrum a 3-year-old would be proud of and flings it away. That doesn't go down too well, and suddenly the lovely fairy world has vanished into a creepy, colourless desert (this directing, by the way, was pretty great). Sookie and Earl get chased by the fairies, who appear to have some kind of light bombs, until they come across a ragtag group of exiled creatures, led by Mab's brother. Apparently he's not too happy with Mab's plans to seal the fairy world off from the human realm and reveals that as she hasn't eaten the glowing fruit she can escape by jumping off a massive cliff. As Mab approaches, it seems that falling into the abyss is truly the better option, and Sookie and Earl leap away - and land in the Bon Temps graveyard. Earl, who has eaten the fruit, isn't looking so good. Sookie manages to drag him to her Gran's grave but he states the obvious rather by saying that he's about to die. He hands over his watch, asking her to give it to Jason, and then evaporates, leaving Sookie alone. She starts to cry, which is pretty understandable - she's just been reunited with her grandfather, then watched him die, all in the space of 13 minutes.

Or has she? When she gets home, there are workmen all around who threaten to call the police. When the cops arrive, well, it's Jason! Doesn't he look handsome in a police uniform? Jason's a bit surprised to see Sookie - she's been away for over a year. Yes, it turns out that fairy world really does speed up time. To be honest, this twist makes complete sense - the fact that so much had happened in Bon Temps in so little time had become a bit ridiculous. Anyway, Sookie's not too happy that Jason had decided to sell her house and when he seems a bit sceptical of her story (seriously, wouldn't you be?) she hands over Earl's watch as proof. Then she heads outside, where none other than a certain Bill Compton is waiting. He admits that she thought she had died, but Eric turns up for a bit of oneupmanship and reveals that he never gave up hope. They have a bit of lovely bickering, but Eric leaves swiftly - not necessarily a bad thing, as the love triangle can all be a bit much sometimes. Then it's time for Andy to show up - addicted to V now, apparently - and shout at Sookie for wasting police time. Bill chivalrously steps in and claims that she was on "important vampire business". That just sounds like an excuse, but Andy buys it and storms off angrily. To be honest, he's more annoyed that Sookie has messed up his policing figures than anything else. Then it's time for some lovely Bill-Sookie time as she admits that it feels like only an hour ago that he broke her heart "into a million pieces". They have some awkward but really rather sweet chatter about how they're glad they're both okay, and then it's time for him to go. He's been busy, actually - becoming a local politician with the help of the rather beautiful Portia Bellefleur (who just so happens to be hired by Sookie to find out who bought her house - what a coincidence). Meanwhile, after Pam proves that she would be the worst television personality ever, Eric records a sparkling public information film about how vampires are really your best friends. Oh, it's good to have Eric back.

Of course, that's not all that's going on in Bon Temps. Jesus is determined to get Lafayette to embrace his magical side, so he drags him along to a coven (as you do). It's all a bit of a cliché - sitting round in a circle with candles, but we get to see Holly again and meet adorably geeky witch Katie. Head witch Marnie is having a bit of a moment in another plane, but soon points at Lafayette, who heads over. He's not convinced when she tries to name someone he's lost, but becomes understandably creeped out when she names Eddie and starts talking in his voice. Lafayette thinks it's a trick and storms out, and Jesus has to do some serious persuasion to get him to come back. The next time, Marnie is grieving over her dead bird - sorry, companion - Minerva, and asks for help to transport her to the next realm. The coven agrees, only to be a bit disconcerted when Marnie decides that actually she'd quite like Minerva back and tries to resuscitate her. It works and Minerva flies up into the air, but then dies again. Still, Marnie's pretty happy with that success. Oh, and cute witch Katie may not be that sweet after all. She transforms into a power-suited goddess called Miss Pelham, who goes to see someone in a heavily guarded mansion. She calls him "Your Majesty" and, well, it turns out to be Bill. Ooh!

What else? Well, Arlene's a bit concerned about her new baby Mikey (you know, Renee's son) - and he doesn't exactly reassure her by pulling the heads off dolls. Sam's annoyed about paying for Tommy's physical therapy for his bad leg, but luckily he's attending anger management (with a group of shapeshifters, naturally). Jessica and Hoyt are starting to live together, but the cracks are starting to show and when they have a desperate "date night" at Fangtasia, Jessica's a bit attracted to a handsome fangbanger. Luckily, Pam's on hand to offer some matronly advice - well, to tell her that trying to live a monogamous lifestyle is "ridiculous" and she should sleep around a bit. Oh, and Jason's trying to look after the Hotshot group by bringing them lots of food as Crystal's not around. Seems like they don't appreciate it all that much, though, because they end up locking him in a freezer. Isn't that nice?

Oh, and Tara's back! I've always had a bit of a soft spot for T, so it was great to see her back to her fierce old self - cage fighting in New Orleans. Oh, and dating a girl called Naomi (I guess all the guys haven't exactly worked out for her). And, as if that wasn't enough, her name's apparently now Toni. Lafayette manages to text her to let her know that Sookie's safe, but although Tara's a bit shocked by the news, it doesn't seem like she's going to hurry back to Bon Temps any time soon. Let's hope she doesn't hang around in New Orleans for too long.

The episode closes with Sookie getting ready for bed - and Eric's there to see her strip off. Hearing Eric say "Mm" is possibly one of the highlights of the episode. Anyway, Sookie's a bit put out that he's there considering that she rescinded her invitation and all, but Eric's found a way around that by buying the house. "I always knew you were alive and if I owned the house, well, then I would own you," he purrs. "Sookie, you are mine." The fangs come out - and now we just have to wait for episode two...

Extra Bites

Reasons to be glad True Blood is back #1: It was so good to see those titles again. Truly some of the best on television.

"If your job is to look after me, you suck." Sookie, you're so right.

We know that Sookie is a fairy, but she must be extra special, right? She managed to see the dark side of the fairy-world and repelled Mag. It'll be interesting to see what else she can do.

Reasons to be glad True Blood is back #2: Hearing Sookie say "guaran-damn-tee".

Lafayette's new hair - amazing. Arlene's do is also quite something.

Speaking of Lafayette - "It smells like where old air fresheners go to die."

And we love Jesus for saying: "They're cool, trust me. Look, they've even got a beaded curtain." Nothing good can come from places with beaded curtains.

Reasons to be glad True Blood is back #3: Hearing Bill say "Sook-eh".

Sookie gets her job back at Merlotte's. Seriously, Sam? I mean, I know you've been in love with her forever and everything, but she's got to be the most unreliable waitress in the world. No wonder you've started her off as a part-timer.

Terry trying to reassure Arlene by telling her that he used to put squirrel heads on lizard bodies to invent new animals - incredible.

By my reckoning, we had to wait 42 minutes for the first sex scene (Tara and Naomi). Is that a record?

Speaking of Tara, seeing her smack down that creepy old pervert was joyous.

First Glee, now True Blood. Which show will be next to get the Zombies' classic 'She's Not There' into the mix? The cover version which ran with the closing titles was creepy.