Biofuels

At Petrol Direct we know that fossil fuels won't
last forever, so we have developed some environmentally
friendly fuels that will keep your gas guzzling offroader
going without destroying the earth.

Petrel™

Many people consider seabirds to be a pest - they
create a mess, are very noisy and can spread disease.
At Petrol Direct we see seabirds differently - as one
of nature's great bounties.

Using a specially patented process along with our
partners, the Shanghai Biofuel and Noodle Corporation
(SBNC) we have developed Petrel™ a fuel source made
from a mixture of seabird guano, combined with the rendered
down, fermented and then distilled corpses of a variety
of common gulls, albatrosses and terns. Tests have shown
that this gives an fuel very closely equivalent to standard
95 RON unleaded petrol. Another advantage with Petrel™ is that government
regulations count it as a foodstuff, so duty is only
the standard 17.5% rate of VAT.

Vin
Diesel™

Various countries have been experimenting with biodiesels
for some time, but Petrol Direct has tapped into the
legendary EU wine lakes to come up with Vin Diesel™.
Made from the foulest and most undrinkable European
wines (such as Blue Nun and Beaujolais Nouveau) we have
come up with a range of diesel fuels that are incredibly
cheap.. because the EU has subsidised them!

We can supply Vin Diesel™ in 0.75 litre bottles in
red, white, pink or sparkling† varieties.
This also makes an ideal Christmas gift for a loved
one! (Not to be taken internally.)

†sparkling Vin Diesel™ may cause misfiring
and head gasket failure if over-used.

Perfuel™

Aimed especially at lady drivers of Beetle Convertibles,
Mazda MX5s and other girlie cars, Perfuel™ is an attractively
fragrant biofuel made from processed rose petals.

The advantages of Perfuel™ are twofold - rose petals
are a renewable energy source, and additionally it is
the only fuel that perfumes the environment with a delicate
aroma as you drive.