You gone too far that time, Amos, bad-mouthin' Rap's Mother! He is gonna have to call you out for that. Given his penchant for usin' heavy firepower, I don't give you much of a chance of survival. What I would recommend is a grovelin' apology. He might let you live. And don't be callin' me up for protection! You made your own mess this time, Roscoe, and you gotta clean it up yerself.

Amos is a-shiverin' in his boots, scared of me callin' him out at High Noon (Mountain Standard Time). Well, the provin' time done passed an' he ain't showed.

Well, there's that much less ta clean up.

GfS, that's how we do it here at MOAB, lessen we do it another way. Fer instance, one time I called Amos out and we dueled with revolvers -- he fired in my general direction (sorta North-north East fer him) and I fired in his (180 degrees 'tother way). Considerin' he's about 950 miles away ain't nobody got hurt nohow.

So this time is it a deadly stare, pointed in Amos' direction? Look out that you don't freeze the Great Salt Lake while yer staring at his neck of the woods. Even with the salt in it, that stare can bring enough chill to make the Ice Capades happy.

6. Explain the difference between DDC, UDC, LC, and Expansive. Has to to with classifying or cataloging..DDC is Dewey Decimal, and UDC is adding another number to include something else..but not sure, exactly. I think libraries use it, and copyrights....not sure all the way...

I was a-standin' out in the street, mah left hand a hoverin' near the computer mouse cuz mah right hand ain't so good these days. The hot sun a-blazin' down, li'l eddies of snow 'round mah boots. An' Amos never showed. Prob'ly still sleepin' off New Years.

Ya know, that brings up a question that intirgues me. How many of you use the mouse with same hand with which you are "handed"? I am right handed and use my mouse with my left hand. Indulge me. I am curious.

I'm using my wife's computer and she's left-hand mousing. My computer is set up for right hand mousing, but while I was in a cast I was a lefty. When I use our friend Mary's computer, well, she's a lefty. So in answer to your question, I use whatever is available.

BTW, my wife and I both use trackballs instead of mouses. Far superior!

He's hidin' under his bed or his desk, Rap, shiverin' with fear. I knew he would. These here pretentious Socal types don't amount to nothin' when ya get 'em out on the firin' range. No sirree! All they are good for is playin' scrabble, and drinkin' latte grande at Starbucks, and usin' fancy words like "jejune" and "solypsism". Them words don't count for nothin' on the firin' range or in the back alley.

- Chongo

p.s. Interestin' buncha questions you posed there. If it was a case and I was gettin' paid, I would look into answerin' them myself, but it ain't and I'm not. So that settles that.

p.p.s. - I usually use the right hand for the mouse, and I am right-handed. Sometimes I use the right foot, though, if my hands are busy. Bein' ambidextrous, I can use any hand or foot when it comes right down to it, and I've met monkeys who can even use their tail to move the mouse around.

He might be, Chongo, but it's probably not from fear of me. More likely it's from fear of fear -- he's afraid he might be afraid. I've seen that lots of times, like when a greenie is cutting fuse for a whopping big charge at the stope face, out beyond any stulls, and he's not sure of the hangin' wall or any bad ground and he's afraid he'll get caught by the shot because he cut the fuse too short...or worse, do it wrong and face the laughter of his partners. It can plumb paralyze a body.

Rapparree, you know perfectly well you had no call for calling out in any case, and if you weren't a two-bit ground-crawling aidewinder, you'd admit it like a gennulman. But your mother was no gennulman, anyway.

But even more inneresting is that fine list of questions and the inteleckshual sweat you poured into crafting them, an admirable job done for regrettably unjustifiable purposes. And more so, that this fine and upstanding dude in town, fresh off the stage, should up and pop out all the answers except 10 just like that blippety blip. I am most indebted to him for drawing fahr on my behalf.

Which leaves it to me to answer your Number 10. The stress forces on the Bucky Done are equal to the moral vectors supporting your rabid outburst of antagonism and braggadocio, multiplied by the natural logarithm of your inestimable brain-cell survival rate.

In sum, zero. And I know this because there is no such thing as a Bucky Done. And trick questions like that are really just a little beneath your dignity, sirrah, if such were indeed possible.

I knew it!! Amos is one of them Gingerich-backing, Nixon-voting, right-wingers! Finally he admits it! He's probably got "Bush/Cheney" lawn signs in his house to remind him of the "good ol' days." Voted for Ahnahld, too, I'll betcha. He even admits going to Mexico to get his teeth fixed instead of using a good US dentist, saying he "saves money" that way. Right...and puts Americans out of job! Probably pollutes the water and air, too. Just another tool of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy!!!

I'd guess it's that Idaho Green Bud in a potatoe (correct spelling) bong. Not the bud but the wierd beer he uses in the bong. Moose Piss Pale Lager or some such crap. Too many bubbles in it. Too much oxygen in the brain can mess you up eh?

I am at my own computer; my trackball is currently on the right hand side of the keyboard. I don't switch things around if I'm using someone else's computer; they can get right tetchy if you don't put it back the way it was.

Amos, you're so right-minded and hence right-wing that you walk widdershins.

I would like to introduce you to a strange, revolutionary notion. Viz, that a single word--with one set of symbols, one set of phonemes--can have more than one concept attached to it, which it may evoke depending on context, and further, that this plurality of concepts may be entirely different one to the next, with little or no overlap in meaning.

For example, there is no overlap between "left" mean the direction of west when facing north and "left" meaning abandoned or remaining apart. In a similar vein, I hasten to point out to you that there is no strong conceptual link between "right" meaning the direction of east when facing north, and "right" meaning politically conservative, and "right", meaning an inherent privilege concomitant to some category of existence.

Until you master this radical notion you will continue to mewl and spew idiocies into the bottomless toilet of cyberspace!!

Gnu, I'm ambidextrous but since schools typically taught right-handed there are some things I do with my right hand, like writing. There are other things where I lead with my left hand. My track ball (I agree with Rap - I love it - I hate having to run a mouse all over when I can simply roll it with my thumb). Trouble is, they're also made for right-handers so I don't have a choice, unless I want to start scrolling with my ring or pinkie fingers. Using a mouse (someone else's) now is partly out of habit and partly out of placement, since most people put the mouse on the right.

Now when it comes to the undomesticated variety, if I get them with any handedness I'll wring their scrawny little necks. They're hard on the garden.

Poor Amos! Brainwashed by the SoCal Vast Right Wing Conspiracy! Is there nothing left for him? He now calls the arms "my right arm" and "my other right arm." He keeps right even when making a left turn, just to show that he's left left. Poor old Amos!

There is rights and then there is rights, Mister R. Until you learn to tell the difference, you're assertions are blither and blather in the Cosmic toilet bowl. But I repeat myself.

One right, of course, that I will never allow anyone to impugn or compromise is my right to defend myself against the encroachments of soi-disant solipsists, to speak plainly in the face of overweening braggadocio, and to lower by a notch any rampant ego who seeks to disrupt the Pax Momae.

FAYETTEVILLE-- A 33 year-old man is free on bond after being accused of having sex with a neighbor's dog.

The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office said Ray Lynn Mitchham, Jr., who lives in Linden was arrested Monday and charged with a felony crime against nature.

The sheriff's office says the complaint was filed by the dog's owner who is also Mitcham's landlord. She told deputies she went to Mitcham's residence early on Jan. 2 to speak with him. When she opened the door of his mobile home, she said she witnessed the act.

Debbie Tanna, a spokesman for the sheriff's office, told Raleigh's WRAL-TV that the dog, a mixed breed female, was taken to a veterinarian, who recovered a DNA sample. The sheriff's office siad it determined Monday that the DNA matched Mitcham's.

Mitcham appeared in court Monday morning and was released on $5000 bond.

And here it is:

Help Me Make It Through The Night

Take the ribbon from your fur Shake it loose and let it drop Leave your dog food in the bowl Just forget that awful slop

Come and lay down by my side On the carpet by the chair Never mind your foolish pride As I remove my underwear

I don't care what's right or wrong! I don't care about the law I've turned off the blasted phone And now I'm reaching for your paw

Mary's gone away downtown Here we are, we're all alone Help me make it through the night And I'll give you this chewing bone...

I don't care what's right or wrong! You don't have to be afraid I've done things like this before With my ex-wife's former maid

Yesterday is dead and gone And the vet is out of sight There's fresh pork roast in the oven Help me make it through the night

Don, Good too see you here. Don't get the chair bogged down in all of the BS here. It's pretty darned deep. MOM sez it's sunny today, good day for this here contretemps, but she doesn't want anyone bleeding.

I had a lovely, sculptured trackball. It was, in my opinion and hand, ergonomically perfect. Naturally it broke. So I use a wired trackball like the one Stilly posted. About the only maintenance I've had to do is to take the ball out and clean the crap off the sensors inside.

Jeez...makes me remember about this guy who goes to a whorehouse, singing, "How much is that doggie in the window?..That one with the waggly tail...How much is that doggie in the window.............Just need 5 minutes, at most, beats me from posting bail"

I want to take this minute to apologize to everyone for any pain I may have caused them. Life is all to short and if I have given offense I would like you to know that I didn't mean to do so, that it was completely unintentional. This being said I want you to know that I only did it to test you, my creation, to see how well you would react, and I'm sorry to say that pretty much all of you failed. So, I'm sorry 'bout that and you'll all have to do better the next time.

Okay, I'll admit it. I don't use a mouse or a trackball, and I don't use control, alt, shift and esc keys to navigate around the screen. Instead, I input everything in ASCII, in binary format, so there won't be any mistekes when I post. I used to input everything in hex in machine code but decided that was too simple.

It was the cheapest type I could find in the store, gnu, and it seems to work as well as any other mouse. Most of them were wired and they cost a whole lot more. I couldn't care less if a mouse has a wire on it or not. What real difference could it make?