When technology gets on the nose

It’s not the first thing you’d think of when asked what new electronic device this country needs the most, but now that there’s an artificial nose which can tell you how much something literally stinks, I can think of no shortage of applications.

Officially developed by Queensland scientists as a way to rate the odious odours coming off chicken farms, the portable Artificial Olfaction System (AOS) will bring a new level of sensory stimulus to our daily lives.

With the federal election not too far off and more televised debates on the way, there’s no longer a need for the Worm. Simply fire up the AOS and it’ll tell you right away just how much each candidate stinks.

For even better results, try it on your malodorous local member in person. As a warning, you might want to buy the heavy-duty ruggedised version if you happen to be conducting field trials in Canberra.

Then there’s the AOS in the office. Think that special request from clients or latest assignment from the boss is a little on the nose? Just whip out your AOS and you’ll have an official stank-rating supporting your decision to pass on the job.

Think you got a little short-changed at that last meeting on increasing your pay package? The AOS will let you know in no time just how rotten a deal you got.

Colleagues, loved ones, friends a little fetid? The AOS is the perfect way to break the BO bad news.

Your daily commute on trams, busses, or rail cars leave you reeking? Just get an AOS reading and let your state government - I’m looking at you, Ms Keneally – know just how funked up your public transport is.

While the AOS is now in early prototype and concentrating solely on avian droppings, we here at Computerworld Australia are looking forward to future versions which will hopefully detect how full of bovine droppings a given subject is.

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