Back to the dark paneled room for more Astroholic therapy for Dan P

Dan Peschong is a long-time Astros’ fan and regular contributor to this blog. He is one of the first-known Astroholics, a co-founder of Astroholics Anonymous and has agreed to exclusively chronicle his therapy sessions here. This is another entry from one of those sessions.

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The location is a dark paneled room, tastefully, yet minimally appointed. Two people sit facing each other in soft leather chairs. The woman is dressed professionally in a conservative grey dress.

She is holding a pen and pad, but her attention is on the man across from her. The man sits opposite in obvious embarrassment and discomfort – dressed casually in slacks and a polo shirt with a Houston Astros emblem under the pocket.

“Mr. Peschong ….”
“You can call me, Dan.”
“ Very well, Dan, what brings you here?”
“Well, Dr. Melfi – before we get to that – I wanted to ask you about that last scene from the Sopranos finale. Was Tony just dreaming, was that the last thing he saw before dying, or did the writer and director drop acid before filming the last scene?”

“Dan you know I would love to explain that all to you – but your well being comes first. On the phone, you said this was an emergency situation – please, explain.”

“Well, Doctor – a few weeks ago I had a revelation and realized that I was an Astroholic. No matter what the Astros did to me, no matter how poorly they treated me – I could not separate myself from them. It was a big step – just coming out in public and admitting the problem. And with help from others such as Mr. Bill and his 12 step plan, I thought that I was on the road to beating it. But then ….”

“Go ahead, Dan. There is no judgment here.”

“It is just so embarrassing to admit. I thought that I could control it – that just a little taste would not be so bad. It started with just watching a few Hunter Pence and Brett Wallace at bats. But you know sometimes I could not stop and it lapped over into Carlos Lee and Chris Johnson and …and….” The man lowers his head in shame and despair.

“Bill Hall?”

“Yes,” shaking his head, “even Bill Hall.”

“Don’t feel bad. Often those attractive, seemingly harmless Pence and Wallace at bats serve as a gateway to the harder more onerous at bats. There are many people in the same place as you are.”

“And then before you know it – I was watching Figgy throwing batting practice during the game or the bullpen blowing another one. I just felt so cheap and ashamed.”

“Go on.”

“Well I was not aware how far I had fallen until I woke up face down in my keyboard one night. The AA Corpus Christi Hooks stats were up on the screen and I did not know how they had gotten there.”

“And…”

“By the way did you know that the Hook’s catcher, Federico Hernandez, is only batting .138 after 29 games and that his .414 OPS is only .025 points lower than J A Happ’s batting average and that ….”

“Mr. Peschong!”

“I’m sorry. You can see how much of a grip this has on me.”

“Yes, I can. The good news is that you are not alone. I have had a large group of patients recently trying to address the same problem. You may know some of them already. For next time I would like to put you into a group session with them. It is a type of therapy that has been particularly effective. In the mean time, I think you should look at yourself and decide exactly what you want to get out of these sessions.”
There was a long pause and then the man asked, “An introduction to someone with club level seating?”