Deliverance

8 chapters / 13366 words

// ON HIATUS // Dallas is a loner two months out of college. Arran is the lead singer of an aspiring rock band. They couldn’t be more different, but when they’re together, sparks fly. Dallas goes with them as a roadie. Suddenly, without even trying, Dallas finds himself spending every minute with her. Everything would be perfect if the lead guitarist wasn’t acting so strangely, but he shrugs it off.

But as he discovers guarded secrets, old rivalries, and bitter regrets, he learns that there’s a lot more to the members of Deliverance than he thinks.
*Warning, strong language and some sexual situations*
Cover photo from stock.xchng by marxus, design by me

My only request is MORE DETAILS. More SENSORY details. YOu have some find details right now, but a reader wants to feel like they are there with a character :D Use the other senses besides sight. Describes tastes, smells, touch, sounds. It engages a reader. Other than that, THIS WAS GREAT! Amazing first chapter :D

Oh, and I forgot to add: don't change POVs. It isn't right. I mean, the story was in Dallas's point of view from the beginning, but right in the middle, you changed to Arran's POV, where she explains what she thinks of Dallas. Other than that, there's nothing wrong with this piece. Awesome work. Keep writing :)