Thursday, January 1, 2015

Love is Eternal

I had a really special experience at the temple on the 30th and thought, what better way to start the year than document it. I was in the Celestial Room and really hoping I could feel my Dad close. But I didn't. It had been so hard to make it to the temple that day, the kids acting up more than usual, my patience shorter than usual...I wanted all the efforts to feel worth it.

Then as I looked around the room I noticed a design on the walls, all over the walls, wrapping around the room. It looked like the wheat in the Egyptian art Daddy used to buy me in junior high that I LOVED. And I realized he is ALWAYS around me, all around me. He is always there, loving me, looking down on me. I just need to be willing to see it and feel it.

My mom found this book that really helped her cope with missing my Dad. It's called "Wherever You Are." It talks about feeling love from someone no matter where you are. I read it to my kids tonight and then noticed this sweet picture on my little Michael's bulletin board.

Love really does go on and on. It was in my Dad as he held his first grandson, named for him. It's been taught to Michael by me, my Dad's daughter. And Michael uses it now to care for his little brother. Although there was a moment in the kitchen on New Year's eve when I had to stand still for a moment and lean on the wall for support, as my chest hurt, literally in pain as it hit me hard that for the first time I was starting the year without my Dad here to talk to and hug, I know DEEP down inside that his love still exists. It exists all around me and deep inside me, and that's because he still exists. His love for me is as real as it ever has been and I still feel it just like when he was alive, and that's because his spirit still lives.