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Kraft Heinz

The O-Zone expands. Perhaps it’s no surprise that Oprah Winfrey has cast her gazillion-dollar gaze on a new food-related venture: a line of nutritious, refrigerated, heat-and-eat side dishes and soups. As first reported by People magazine, Winfrey’s new product line, “O, That’s Good!” (O, that’s a dowdy name!) will be available in stores this fall, and features foods prepared with the kinds of substitutions any lifelong dieter will—for better or worse—find deeply familiar: three cheese pasta “with a twist of butternut squash,” for instance, and garlic mashed potatoes with “a twist of cauliflower.” Read more.—Kate Cox

Infowars

Jonesin’ for some supplements. We’re just going to put this out there: Alex Jones is not the most trusted name in news. The Infowars host has devolved, in recent years, from a shameless peddler of baseless, far-right conspiracy theories into a bizarre, disorienting spectacle. What exactly is happening as Jones, shirtless and goggle-eyed, roars spit-flecked tirades at the camera? Maybe this performance of rage is somehow cathartic, enacting an anger his viewers feel but can’t express. Maybe it’s self-parodic shtick—Jones’ lawyer seems to suggest he’s in the know. Or maybe he’s simply on some varsity-league drugs.

Whatever the case, here’s the unfortunate truth: A not-insignificant number of Americans have elected to buy mail-order health supplements from this man. The exact number isn’t known, but New York magazine estimates between $15 and $25 million dollars worth per year. And that’s too bad because, according to a new BuzzFeed investigation, Jones’s products aren’t much better than his “news”—they’re basically a waste of time. Read more.
—Joe Fassler

Lizard breath. In August of 2015, a California man cracked open a 24-ounce Heineken, took a few sips, and immediately suffered severe abdominal pain and vomiting. George Toubbeh went to the emergency room for treatment but missed several weeks of work due to residual symptoms, the Los Angeles Times reports. Now he’s suing the company and the Kroger-owned grocery store where he purchased the beer.

Also, his daughter found two geckos at the bottom of the can. Read more.
—Claire Brown

The terms of ABC’s settlement with BPI around the “pink slime” defamation case have been disclosed … kind of. We now know that ABC’s parent company Disney spent $177 million “in connection” with the litigation, though some of that money may have been in legal fees. Still, BPI’s attorney told CNN he believes it’s the largest amount ever paid in a media defamation case in the United States.