I have recently started to realize how my weight really affects my life. I am not stick thin, not obese, but I am overweight. It's not a huge deal, I still meet men, and date, etc. But the problem is that i feel as though my self-esteem is crap. I know I'm a good person, I'm strong etc, and I am a very confident person everywhere else, but when it comes to dating, im always surprised when attractive men like me.

This has led me to stay with men who I KNOW have cheated on me, settling for attractive men who are not smart/i have no connection with, I can't even remember the last time I dumped a guy (for a real reason, not just because) etc. I am a logical girl but it seems like I just put up with anything because Im always certain I cant do better (even though I usually do).

How can I change this stupid pattern? Im horrified that it will affect my future!
Any advise on how to change this? Im too in my head....

Mon. Jul 2, 6:19am

What kind of advice do you want exactly? You already know what to do. Dont ask rhetorical questions.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, loose the fat, get a good man.

Monday, July 02, 2007, 8:46 AM

I did the same thing. I don't have a pattern for this type of behaviour, but the last guy I was with sounds exactly like the men in your story. The first step is realizing what you are doing.. after that it's all up to will power and self-restraint. Don't let yourself fall for that type of man anymore. I've moved on and found a fantastic guy:) You can too!

Monday, July 02, 2007, 10:57 AM

To be honest I think you should stop dating for awhile and get to know yourself better. Find out what an awesome person you are, find things you like to do and focus on you. That will raise your self-esteem, just by loving yourself and being happy. Then when you start dating again, you'll know better than to put up with losers. And ignore what the pp said (8:40 I think), he/she was being rude. Good luck!

Monday, July 02, 2007, 11:12 AM

It's not about the fat. No matter what your size is, KNOW that you deserve to be treated with love and respect. If your best girlfriend said all these things to you, what would you say to her?

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