Guest Columnist Ben Michaelis: Just For You, A Quiz On Self-Love

Dr. Ben Michaelis lives in Brooklyn, New York with his wife and children, Juliet and Charlie, ages 5 and 2. His book,YOUR NEXT BIG THING: 10 Small Steps to GetMoving and Get Happy was released last December. Currently in full-time private practice as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Michaelis specializes in blending play and creativity with mental health. He has served on the faculty of Lenox Hill Hospital and is currently a Visiting Scholar at Columbia University. His writing appears regularly on The Huffington Post.com and Psychologytoday.com, among other publications. For more information about him, please visit http://www.drbenmichaelis.com, and follow him on Twitter @drbenmichaelis.

Dear Juliet and Charlie,

Because you’re both still quite young right now, what Valentine’s Day basically means to you is chocolate. Which, believe me, I respect. For me, and for many others, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to think about, and demonstrate, my love for those most important to me.

So here’s a letter you can read when you’re old enough to, and interested in reflecting on, this holiday.

The long and short of it all is this: to get the love you want, you have to love yourself first. Why, you ask? What’s self-love got to do with it?

Score 5–6: You are on the path toward loving yourself, but you occasionally doubt whether loving yourself is healthy or “right.”

Score 7–9: Self-love is either a foreign concept that you have never considered, or you have thought about it and the thought makes you feel sick.

Whatever you scored, I hope the quiz made you think about self-love, because again, only a person who loves himself or herself first can give love freely to others. And if you feel loved and believe in yourself, you’ll be giving, gentle and kind. You’ll be calm, consistent and confident, too.

You’ll also realize there’s plenty of love to go around. And you’ll have the faith to see the glory in — and inspire — others.