A Support And Educational Blog for Parents with Hurting and Troubled Teens

Tag Archives: Christian Parents and Teens in Crisis

As many of you know, I have not been as active as I would have liked on my blog. There have been many excuses, mainly one, that has kept me from keeping up to date with blog posts.

The biggest reason is the publication of my first book, Turn the Tide of Emotional Turbulence: Devotions for Parents with Teens in Crisis. A long time coming, I am finally seeing the light of it being put to print. Book launch will be early spring 2019.

The devotions in this book relate to my emotional rollercoaster ride as a parent when my daughter was going through many crises. For many parents, crises have focused on one or two issues such as a disorder, addiction, a mental illness, and so forth. For our family, mainly our daughter, there were too many issues to even count over a period of 15 years.

Yes, I had a lot of emotional turbulence which kept me quite alone. The good news though, is that each year, more resources, support, and one on one help is now available. However, it doesn’t always take away the feeling of being alone when you are going through your tsunami storms of life.

For me, I felt battered by every wave that hit us. If I am feeling this way, I’m sure other parents are too. Those thoughts persuaded me (along with others) to start journaling. I had no idea my journaling would turn into writing a book about it.

With lots of prayer, encouragement, and guidance from great authors, agents, publishers, family, and friends, the book was born.

Thank you for being so patient with me in not receiving weekly posts. I will definitely change that in the coming weeks. In the meantime, please pray for the finishing edits and touches on the book. This book was written for you.

Today we are going to meet Kathy. She shares her story about the challenges that came in her life through adoption. Maybe you will find your story within hers. May you also find hope and encouragement too.

Adoption has been a true dear to the heart passion for you and your husband. You have adopted four times domestically and internationally. What were the ages of your children when you adopted them?

Our first son was a domestic adoption and he was 3 days old, next daughter was International adoption and she was 23 months, then another international adoption and he was 16 months, our youngest daughter we adopted as a domestic adoption at 9years, 11 months old.

Certain adoptions pose different challenges such as age range, living in an orphanage or foster home and even second chance adoptions. What challenges were you faced with?

I think all of my children have had many challenges and still continue into adulthood. My daughter adopted from Ukraine was institutionalized from birth. She was diagnosed with emotional deprivation. She was unable to give or receive affection for her first year, and her emotions were always guarded, and she continues to struggle to this day. She has struggled with making deep, lasting, trusting relationships. My boys both had issues related to delays in learning. There is no way to know if there was a direct correlation to their adoptions but I imagine so. Our daughter who was adopted at 9years 11 months, as an interrupted adoption, we were the second family that had adopted her since she was brought to America from Russia when she was 5 years old. Her primary diagnosis was attachment disorder. She was put in a Russian orphanage at age 4, adopted and brought to America at age 5, was treated for attachment disorder, and the family felt as though they were no longer able to handle the challenges of keeping her in their home. They had a list of issues that they claimed were were so severe that they had made a decision to have her institutionalized in the state the family was living. We intervened and adopted her. We have had many challenges in parenting her. I could write a book with her challenges alone. I think another challenge for adoptive children that is greater than for biological children is the question of identity-Who am

Adoptive children typically don’t look like anyone else in the family – it becomes obvious to them at a young age that they don’t fit like biological children. My older son had a lot of interest in knowing things about his biological parents. Sometimes information about an adoptive child’s biological parents leaves them feeling disappointed as often the parents have lived a less than praiseworthy life, which was the case in 3 out of my 4 children. With my kids we tried to steer them to God. Their essential identity is found in what God says about them. Point them to Christ. Continue reading →

When we think of “parents with a teen in crisis” we immediately come to the conclusion that mom and dad are involved. However, there are also thousands of single moms and dads who struggle as parents too. One such parent is my friend Lynn. I asked her to share with me some of the difficulties she has endured as a single parent with a teen in crisis. We pray that you will find encouragement through Lynn’s story and that you are not alone in your single parenting journey.

Were you a stay at home mom or working mom when you noticed your daughter’s issues? I am a working mom who works from home and also cared for my mother who had health issues. Both of my daughters now are ages 21 and 23.

Each parent with a child in crisis has a story. Can you give me a little background of how you became aware that your children were dealing with a serious issue? While my oldest has had anger and insecurity issues due to a divorce, it is my youngest that has been most concerning. In her senior year of high school her grades began to drop, she spoke of hating school and had friendships end. I later came to find out that she was sexually assaulted by a football player who trapped her in his car. She told no one. To cope, she began experimenting with drugs. She chose to attend a city college (which was a good move) but in her second year, I began to see her breakdown emotionally little by little. At the end of the year, she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years, told me she was bi-sexual and began living a wild lifestyle. She went skydiving, had her septum pierced, began losing weight rapidly, out at very late hours of the night, and clearly came home wasted. My daughters and I are very close, are able to have transparent conversation and purpose time together. So, not only was I trying to deal with her behavior, she shut me out of her life; I was a roommate of insignificance. When school started again in the fall, she was having difficulty focusing, and tried working two jobs. In January, she confessed she felt there was something mentally wrong with her as she began pulling out her hair and cutting herself. She agreed to go into counseling which lead to a psychiatric diagnosis of bi-polar. She is on medication and continues seeing her counselor which is helping her work through some core issues. Continue reading →

Each year, month, and even week, a new drug is on the streets or should I say in the hands of teens. With the passing of laws to allow marijuana in the states, it has only fueled other drugs to become more prevalent among our teens.

With interest, I googled the current drug trends among our teens and realized that I had been out of the loop in educating myself and I’m sure other parents too.

The Partnership For Drug-Free Kids – Drug Trends of Today Among Teens , educates you about these new drugs and how to be ahead of the game in combatting them. Our worst fears years ago – marijuana. Although today it is considered a mild form of drug use compared to the hard core drugs such as cocaine, meth or the high rise of opioid use today, it is a drug nonetheless and dangerous (even moreso when laced, used with alcohol, and mixed with other drugs). Since the passage of the usage of marijuana, there have been record numbers of overdoses among hospitals.

Are you really prepared as a parent to know what to look for when it comes to drugs and your teen? If you already have a child in crisis with an addiction, it is even more imperative to be connected with a support group, counselor or rehab. They can teach you what to look for and how to battle it. Christian Rehabs

There are also great resources and tools that can be found on the internet, through friends, support groups, counselors, and even the Church. TEEN CHALLENGE continues to have a high rate of successful stories within their program for many teens to young adults.

To look at things with our own eyes instead of God’s, it is easy to feel defeated with this battle against drugs. All we see and know are the vast army of drug lords, addicts, and drug pimps who look to steal, kill, and destroy. John 10:10 – The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. Our God is strong and mighty and He will do all of the fighting for us. It is HIS battle. We just need to be steadfast on our part by being educated, not enabling, showing tough love, and spending time on our knees in prayer.

Keep praying Dads! Your teen or young adult will one day come back and thank you too for never giving up on them. This dad knows it. There is HOPE! Keep your faith in God as you continue to lift up your child to Him. And thank you to this Dad for sharing this letter with Anchor Of Promise. Happy Father’s Day!

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About Me!

Growing up in the Northeast, the only dreams I had for my life was to grow closer to my Heavenly Father, be happily married, and have an easy road to raising wonderful and successful children. I think God was laughing at that last part.

As you can guess, it wasn’t easy at all. In fact, it was hard. Raising teens in this world is the most difficult job to do. Even more difficult, when they become a teen in crisis.

From the darkest trials into the depths of depression, to the biggest milestones and the ultimate victories, I was able to weather the worst of storms with Christ at the helm.

My journey as a parent to a teen in crisis led me through the tsunami of issues no parent wants to be confronted with; Self-harm, suicidal tendencies, body issues, porn, abandonment and rejection, as well as PTSD. These were only the beginning waves of what was yet to come.

How does one get through these parenting struggles? Christ was my living anchor of hope and promise. He showed me how to take hold and be lifted up when I felt like I was ready to drown. Even through that very painful period, the Lord was beginning to reveal His plan and use those crisis situations for His glory.

Today, I continue God’s call on my life by sharing stories from the heart and using His Word. No more should parents feel alone and ashamed. It is time to be encouraged and uplifted. God is your Anchor of Promise – Hebrews 6:19.

Wife to my husband Dan of 34 years, I am also mom of two daughters, 2 cats and 2 dogs. My book, Turn The Tide of Emotional Turbulence: Devotions for Parents With Teens in Crisis will be out in Spring 2019.

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