Monday, June 29, 2009

You want tobe confidentandfeel confident, but what if you're starting with little ornoconfidence? How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect andlove.

Steps

1.Recognize your insecurities.What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything fromacne, toregrets, your weight, or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.

2.Don't view yourself as inferior to others.Don't walk around with the subconscious mindset that others are better or more qualified than you, whether it's related to work, school, or just socializing. To a certain degree, it's good to walk around with a feeling of superiority. However, don't take this too far, or you'll come across as a jerk.

3.Talk about it with friends and loved ones.Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.

4.Remember that no one is perfect.Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.

5.Identify your successes.Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at whichyouexcel, then focus on yourtalents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.Express yourself, whether it's through art,music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plainloveto do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take somelessonsor join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

6.Be thankfulfor what you have.A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not havingenoughof something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what youdohave, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.

7.Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.

9.Look in the mirror andsmile.Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.

10.Fake it.Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel

11.Stick to your principles.It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.

12.Help others.When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning), you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Govolunteertwice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.

13.Don't Care What Other People ThinkYou shouldn't care about what other people will think or are going to think because what's important is that you are fine with yourself and if you're fine with yourself, others will be fine with you!

14.RememberIf someone insults you and puts you down, just remember,that they are not perfect either.