Destination Fun

Right up with getting pantsed or learning how to smoke out of soda cans is going to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's a necessary rite of passage for any self-respecting teenager on the cusp of entering adulthood. The campy and absurd musical involves the corruption of Susan "Dammit Janet" Sarandon and her beau at the hands of a transvestite "doctor" and his cohorts (plus, Meatloaf).

Portland has a particularly special relationship with Rocky. The Clinton Street's been running it since 1978--the longest run in the world. To celebrate the 25th anniversary of Rocky, the Clinton's hosting "Rockypalooza," drawing fanatics and recollections out of the woodwork.

The weekend includes partying at the Motel 6, and wee-hour bingeing at IHOP. Both nights will include RHPS shows, the first featuring the Portland crew; and the second, an all-star cast from all over the West Coast. There will also be vendors on hand, selling limited edition tees and other souvenirs. Tantamount to the Woodstock of kitsch, this might be the most culturally significant opportunity you'll ever get to do the Time Warp again. It's like a family reunion--except all your uncles are wearing fishnets. MARJORIE SKINNER

Inspired either by recent Easter egg hunts or "alcohol," says organizer Alex Harvill, this week's Critical Mass will adopt a new format: A scavenger hunt!

Harvill hopes the scavenger hunt will de-centralize the bike ride, sending small groups roaming throughout the city. On past rides, police have flanked the hundreds of riders--"like wolves going after a herd of sheep," says Harvill. Keeping the group dispersed will make it more difficult for the police to break up the ride and to harass riders.

Moreover, Harvill hopes the fun-spirited scavenger hunt will help to counter the image of Critical Mass as lawless hooligans. The police, he says, have pushed a media campaign to malign the monthly rides. "We're portrayed as a cycling band of thugs," says Harvill.

Instead, Harvill insists, Critical Mass participants want to get out a message about alternate means of transportation. Harvill would not share what the grand prize from the hunt will be, but he promised that it will involve drunkenness. PHIL BUSSE

Just when you think America's collective war malaise has robbed everyone of their ability to laugh, some pranksters calling themselves Portland's Underground Showbiz Society, Y'all (PUSSY) show up to represent for the mirth. Consisting of four performing acts whose hilarity is separate but equal, the PUSSY shall convene at Obsidian Gallery for the next five Sundays, spreading the joy of laughter. Believe it when I say this ain't no wack Jerry Seinfeld shit; this PUSSY is fucked. With an off-kilter sense of humor landing somewhere between the Log Lady and David Cross, wacky improv ensemble The Famous Mysterious Actor Players joins stand-up comedians Rachael Parenta and Larry Shaw, and the quirky tales of musical group The Minor Thirds, for this rotating weekly dose of screwed Sunday funnies. Also, now when your pals call on Sundays, you can lie and tell them you're going out to get some PUSSY. I'm sorry; that was a terrible joke. This event will be funnier than I am. JULIANNE SHEPHERD

For those who choose to raise their voices in song, this is your week! And while many people still unfortunately pretend that karaoke is not a competition--we all know that it is.

First up, The Boiler Room, where they're wrapping up a month long karaoke sing-off culminating in tonight's final showdown of the vocal chords. The best of the best will be here, with the grand prize winner waltzing away with a mind-blowing 500 BONES.

Next, swing down to Roc's Bar & Grill on 82nd for their "Worst Karaoke Contest"--but don't be fooled! This competition is extra challenging: Contestants can choose their first song, but the second song is a super-secret surprise chosen by the judges! Plus they'll be graded on accuracy, improv, and skill by a panel of saucy, sexy strippers (it's about time they got to do some judging!). Cash prizes will be awarded, and a $5 entry fee is required, but who can put a price on entertaining the world with a spirited rendition of Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract"? WM. STEVEN HUMPHREY