Balotelli will be remembered for letting off fireworks in his house, collecting pointless red cards, suspensions and parking tickets, writing off sports cars, throwing a dart at a youth player, missing trophy parades because he couldn't be bothered, making his manager look like a drunken uncle in a fight and starring in a series of urban myths fuelled by celebrity fawners like Noel Gallagher, which painted him as some anarchic anti-hero.

The monarchist fawners use the same feeble argument always to continue playing "monarchs and vassals" - the rogue president, as if in the whole of Britain there is no decent man or woman to take on the role.

In the same way that Julius Caesar, in his Shakespearean incarnation, surrounded himself with sycophants and came to grief one day at the forum, Ferguson now takes questions only from the fawners and flatterers of United's in-house media.

in Los Angeles had plenty of blockers running interference: his old sports buddies, Hollywood fawners, sportswriters who think their job is to cover talent, not morality, an easy going judge and Hertz who kept using Simpson to shill.

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