Month: August 2017

It’s been about a minute since I’ve gotten new clothing well today was the day. Before I go on I should mention that I used to shop at this store like 8 years ago. Also deep down I love business casual attire. Pieces you can mix and match as well use for going out for drinks or date night or work.

So the last time I went to this store I noticed this gorgeous plaid skirt. It’s soft but heavy enough that you could rock hose or tights under it. Perfect for fall or even winter.

Also I love tops with bell sleeves. I found this gorgeous royal blue blouse with a tie detail in the back.

The skirt is so freaking cute and so comfy. I had to get another one but in a different pattern which they had.

The top I didn’t buy but did like it lol. I think I’ll get a lot of uses out of the two skirts. I don’t own many skirts as far as business casual types go. I find clothes shopping to be a pain unless I’m in the mood. Id like to find another pair of dress pants and another pair of shoes then I believe my business casual attire will be good to go.

In a world where everyone possesses a voice and a thought and an opinion. It can get overwhelming at times. When seeing the news and seeing police officers killing very many innocent people in the states or going to extreme forces with people with only a knife like what was done in Toronto. Makes me all upset and makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with people.

The gay pride parade was about a protest from the get go then really why should it be such a big deal now that one group protests now?. I think and I can only speak for my self but living in the nations capital of Canada. I believe that the group at hand which is BLM should be able to walk in the pride parade and protest just like any other group however I don’t agree with keeping it up. That all being said. Masses need to change their thought process.

Guidelines In men in authority need to change. Better background checks need to be taken place when highering people as well sensitivity training. Also one thing I can’t stand which has zilch to do with BLM. Per say Is why is it if your white and you perform a crazy crime like go into a school and kill a bunch of students your considered mentally ill but if your a person of colour and you do the same thing your automatically labeled a terrorist. I just don’t think it’s fare. I too do not agree at all with the shit white people of authority do to people of color like going after people who do nothing wrong but just walk down the street minding their own business and being harassed for no reason at all.

We need to express more love and acceptance of all people. There needs to be a positive change and we need to love everyone, period. We all bleed the same color blood after all. We breathe the same air. We all have feelings and emotions. And we all have beating hearts ♥️. We are not all that different from each other. But the divide and all the negativity is what is really separating each and every one of us. The past can’t be changed but the future can be. We need to work as one in order for things to shift.

I care & hope things get better before I pass. That would be so great to see! There is but to much negativity happening right now. Even going on Facebook gets me sad at times.

So it takes place every year and every year I don’t go mainly because I don’t feel the need to walk down the street and be like look at me I’m trans. I feel odd doing something like that, I suppose because I’ve never not felt not included with just the regular Pride Parade. I mean my own little view on Pride, it’s self is kinda bent. I say this because my view on the whole community, it’s self isn’t amazing. And this stems from when I was first introduced to the Toronto gay community when I was about 14-15 years of age.

I was told then that it was one big happy family and everyone was so welcoming and awesome and then the cold shock of that’s not how it really was. I was treated, then like a fresh slice of meat 🍖. Even back then living as a gay male who was overtly feminine. Nobody wanted to date me hardly and all I was good for being sex. There actually wasn’t much of a community and I felt most the time like the outcast. Yes, I walked in a few Parades mainly in drag.

I was very much a throwing it in your face type of personality back then. And the more shit I got from people the louder I became. A great deal of the things I did was for shock value and to get any kind of attention.

But once I switched genders, it was to blend into the crowd as much as possible. Even though I was tall standing at 6’2. All I desired to do was blend in with the rest of Society. Which honestly, I do for the most part. I like not standing out. But I also don’t need a March to be proud of who I am.

That being said I’ve been doing a great deal of self growth as of lately. My views on the whole of the alphabetical community is slowly shifting. Last year I skipped the Ottawa Pride Parade mainly being over it. The year before I was on a trans float. This year I travelled to my first Montreal Pride as well walked in it with RBC Bank & My Best Friend. Last night I decided to at last minute walk in the Trans March with a few allies. Though I don’t suppose it needed to be in the evening it was a pretty big turn out of people I was pleasantly surprised with how many trans and such came out.

I frankly didn’t think Ottawa had many trans folks. Which proves just how little I am aware of. When you’re used to your own bubble and circle of friends to then be apart of something like that it’s kinda mind blowing. I was glad I went, but it’s not something I’ll probably do again. Frankly, it’s not really my thing, but I am happy I experienced it.

I didn’t truly like the route they chose, one street was way too far away from the village and they could have picked a closer park to meet at. That’s my personal opinion on the location. As well the speakers went on to long, but overall the walk it’s self was alright. Also one of the people chanting I couldn’t understand half of what they were going on about. But other than that it was a good March.

The conclusion is getting out of your comfort zone. It feels good to experience things even if it’s scary. Nobody said you have to do it more than one time. And yet though my thought process on pride is still bent a little. Hopefully the alphabet community will become less superficially fake before I die and more of a welcoming community for the new generations to come.

A lot of respectable people in uniform. Who help people every day from break ins, to fires, to bad people on the streets that harm kids. Who is harmed significant others. That harm people of all sorts. Who help dying people, who help drug addicts who accidentally overdose.

Not everyone who wears a uniform are bad people. With all the negativity in news outlets to twitter to Facebook and beyond I’d merely like to say I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of the negativity that these groups are putting out there to not work together but to split up each other. By not working together, you are merely going back not forward.

I get it some members of the Society have been done wrong, but don’t you dare for a minute blame each and everyone for a mistake that a small number people have behaved. It is not everyone’s fault for that person’s error. You learn from it. Grow from it and forgive. It may take time and heck you may never fully overcome it, but why can’t we work together to fix things right then to divide and take steps back.

As a member of the minority group being a member of the fucking alphabet. I sent a message to the Ottawa Police Service to thank them for all the good they have executed. Could sensitivity training be more implemented, yes of course. Should they do better screening when it comes to hiring people who wear a badge of authority you bet your ass. But we need to work together as a society in order to move forward.

So there are zero reviews of this colour online as far as YouTube reviews go. I was speaking to my God mother earlier this morning, yup we talk even though she’s passed. I asked what her thoughts were on me going a reddish colour. She liked the idea so I went ahead and bought two boxes. Lucky for me they were on sale.

Anyways ive been loving these L’Oreal Casting Cream Glosses since I started using them. I’ve gone from super dark brown to using the golden tones. And I thought I would look good with more red in my hair. Ever since I posted the photo of me with a red wig on my Instagram

people seem to really like it and I love how I look. So I took the plunge and I’m totally in love wth the colour my hair turned out. For the full review watch the video.

With yourself first and than the vibe you will give off to others will have them fall for you. A friend I was speaking with yesterday was talking about how she’s sick of being alone and single and she doesn’t exactly possess the best self love.

And so I told her:

“Well I know I’m sure your sick of hearing this but you need to start falling in love with your self. Learn to love who you are and then the vibe you will give off will be that your more open to have people love you for you. It’s not an over night thing.”

I honestly believe these statements to be true. When I began to think differently about myself and hold myself to a higher level. The vibe I give off is a whole heap better than it was. Before people would never sit next to me on public transit it was like I had a bubble around me. And till my thought process changed.

I too believe that dating apps/sites are useless. It’s a very fake online world 🌎. And from my own personal experience It just never truly worked for me. I know by making myself go out there is when I’ll meet people. Running into people more organically and in natural settings than those time wasting sites and apps.

I genuinely think you need to love yourself first and try to focus on you first and when your time is right that’s when you will meet the right person. Also value yourself, know your worth more than maybe others have made you feel, you are important and you deserve better than the shit you have had to put up with.

So I had a slight home phone tragedy the pink sparkly novelty lip Phone that I was using as my land line, I had been using it as a burlesque prop. Well when I was in Carleton Place and had rested it on a banister it had fallen off and when I picked it up there is a piece in the handheld part that now moves around in it.

The beginning of August I had reorder it from Amazon from the same seller. I paid for express shipping and it was to arrive the 1st of the month. I waited and waited and waited till finally I emailed them and asked to either send me a tracking code or refund my money. Two days later the money is back in my account and that’s that.

I went on to the ad and it now says no longer available and not sure if it will be again. Why on earth would you try to sell something if in fact you don’t really have it. Makes no sense to me but whatever.

Anyways I had found a cheese hamburger novelty phone on Amazon I looks just like the one from the movie Juno. But it really wouldn’t go with any of my things. So I went super basic and got a cordless land line phone from Walmart for a decent price. It’s got a bunch of decent features and a phone book that can store 30 contacts.

I put my parents and emergency lol

It’s mainly for my buzzer and maybe ordering food.

Honestly I was hesitant on buying it but I need a phone for this landline that I’m paying for so it’s fine I suppose.

It’s also basic bitch black lol. I may add some sparkle to it at some point but who knows lol.

I finally have a real sense of clarity with how my body is. When I would talk to some people and or watch a show on gender surgeries it would bring up feelings of being inadequate and that I had to conform to how society is.

Last weekend when I was at my parents home I was watching an episode of I Am Jazz on TLC. She is going to be getting confirmation surgery. After watching the show I felt happy for her that she needs to get said surgery to feel comfortable in her skin.

But I didn’t feel like I usually do when I watch such shows. I felt fine. I felt content 😌 within. For once I feel perfectly perfect with my body. The clarity is that you don’t need to conform to fit in with everyone. I feel beautiful. I feel great & life is fucking awesome.