Next Steps: When Your Parents Need Assisted Living

It can be a difficult moment when you come to realize that your dad or mom needs senior care in a setting like assisted living. Just as our parents kept us safe, sheltered and secure when we needed it — there comes a time when we’re called upon to return this same love to our parents.

Learn more about the next steps to take when you believe your parents need assisted living.

Steps to Take When Your Parents Need Assisted Living

Some of us will provide care to our parents in our own home for a period, but this is not always possible for all families, or always desired by the children or parents themselves. Many families find themselves searching for assisted living, an intermediate level of residential care for seniors who aren’t safe living alone.

Ideally, your parents can be full participants in the search, but when your loved one is impaired by Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, you may have to proactively take more control of the decision making.

If you see that your parents need assisted living care, here are some steps that can help you find them the right care:

1. Get Your Loved One Involved

The more involved your parents are in the search, the better. Of course you can do much of the legwork for them, but have discussions with your parents about their desires and preferences and, ideally, present them with a range of options. If your parent is in denial about his or her need for care, read our article about overcoming resistance in the situations.

2. Determine What You Can Afford

Like it or not, money is going to be a factor in most families’ searches. Look at what your family can afford on a monthly basis. Our guide to financing senior care page could be a helpful reference. Look into veterans benefits and other creative ways to pay for care. Some seniors and families may have to consider difficult options such as pooling resources from the adult children, selling a family home or even cashing-in a life insurance policy.

3. Get Connected with a Senior Living Advisor

This really could have been the first step on our list, as you can call us at any point in your search. A good point for your initial consultation from an A Place for Mom Senior Living Advisor is after you have already done a little investigating into what your family can afford. That way your Advisor can provide a list of seniors communities that meets the needs and preferences you have already established, and ones that are in your price range. This list of communities is an excellent starting point for your search. From there, a logical way to proceed with the decision making process is through the process of elimination. For those families who ultimately cannot afford private-pay senior care and require state assistance in the form of Medicaid (not to be confused with Medicare), your Advisor will connect you with the appropriate liaison at the Area Agency on Aging so that you can get this process started.

4. Tour Senior Communities

No amount of time viewing photos, brochures, floor plans or reviews can substitute for an in-person visit to a community. Schedule visits for you and your parent at a minimum of three communities on your short-list. If you and your parent have the time and stamina, it may be helpful to view up to five or six communities as you narrow the search. A good time to tour is during a meal, such as lunch, for example. Potential residents can try the food and get a good sense of the community’s culture; as most of the residents will be out and about during a mealtime. Based on these initial tours, narrow down your search to two or three favorites. Perform follow-up tours, perhaps even unannounced, to get a good sense for the community you and your parent are considering. Your Senior Living Advisor can make this process easier for you by arranging all your tours in one short call.

5. Come to a Decision

Whether your parent is choosing the community themself, or whether you need to make that decision for parents impaired by Alzheimer’s or dementia, try to make sure that everyone in your family feels good about the choice. When possible, have conversations with your parents discussing the pros and cons of each option and try to find consensus about the right option. You can always bounce ideas off of your Senior Living Advisor during your decision making process and get his or her impressions of communities on your referral list. Another smart move is reading reviews of senior communities on SeniorAdvisor.com can also help you make an informed and confident decision. Finally, you can also check the background of an assisted living community you are considering with the licensing agency in your state that monitors assisted living.

6. Make the Move

If you’ve come this far in the process, there’s no sense in delaying the move. It’s risky to procrastinate when a parent needs care, as the delay can lead to avoidable accidents and medical problems. Our blog article, “6 Survival Tips for Moving Your Elderly Loved One” has important information about helping to assure this move goes smoothly.

What difficulties have you faced in looking for an assisted living community for your senior parent? Share your stories with us in the comments below.

We Can Help! Our local advisors can help your family make a confident decision about senior living.

About the Author

Jeff Anderson attended the University of Alaska Fairbanks on an academic scholarship and also studied creative writing at University of Hull's Scarborough Campus (UK). Jeff found his professional calling in 2009 when he began working with seniors and their families at A Place for Mom. His passion for helping seniors and his fondness for the written word are evident in his articles about issues affecting older adults and their families. Jeff also writes and records music under the moniker Mysterious Inventors. Additionally he’s an avid chess player and a proud parent.| Jeff Anderson's Google+ Profile

Please share your thoughts or comments on this article:

Emma Jones

This is great advice. Caregiving involves making such difficult decisions! One option that I would like to mention for those who can’t give their parents the level of attention they need but whose parents don’t want to go into assisted living is in home caregiving. Here is a guide to helping your parents accept in home caregiving. It can be an easier transition than an assisted living community, but it obviously isn’t an option for everyone.

mary

I agree! As soon as I started looking into what Medicare covers and, more importantly doesn’t cover, when my ma needed senior care, my husband and I started looking into long-term care insurance for ourselves. We found a policy that worked for us and purchased it immediately. It’s not cheap, but I don’t want our kids to have to go through figuring out how to pay for the care we may need in the future. The system hasn’t caught up with life expectancy yet. It’s broken and probably won’t be fixed in time for our old age.

Giovana

I know that when my grandmother could no longer live by herself, my mom and her did an extensive search of assisted living homes and communities to ensure that my grandmother would find one she wanted. There was lots of tours and hours searching, and finally, grandma found one that suited her. She still lives there, 10 years later, and couldn’t be happier! http://www.healthconceptsltd.com/eldercare-Providence-RI/index.html

MariaPaz Home care is committed to give care with kindness, compassion, treat each person with dignity and respect. MariaPaz Home Care will ensure that each person receives high quality of services and be a provider of excellence.

Alpha Anthamatten

I know it’s been several months since this conversation started, there is another option for you parent or for any disabled individual over the age of 18.
It is Adult Foster Care. I have an Adult Foster Care home in Texas, so I can only speak of how this works in Texas.
Adult Foster Care (AFC) provides a supervised, 24-hour living arrangement in an adult foster home for people who are unable to continue living independently in their own homes because of a physical, mental or emotional limitation.

AFC providers and residents live in the same household and share a common living area. With the exception of family members, no more than three adults may live in the foster home unless the state licenses it. The person receiving services pays the provider for room and board.

We are contracted with the state almost same as a license. Our home is required to meet certain criteria mandated by the state and is monitored and reviewed annually.

The resident needs to be covered my Medicaid and if so, there is no out of pocket expense to the individual or family members. There are at least several states that have the AFC program, if not all states. Contact your Department of Aging and Disability or Health and Human Services Commission. Almost each state calls these departments. something different, so if your not in Texas I hope you know the equivalent of the same.

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