How to find the right tutor for your kid so homework doesn’t ruin your relationship

With the return to school comes what could be the most unwelcome aspect of shipping the kids back to class — sparring with them over homework.

Whether we’re cajoling our kids to get started on a diorama due next week or feeling their wrath for showing them the wrong way to do a math problem, helping with school work is a major source of stress for parents — and a strain on relationships with our kids.

Vanessa Vakharia, founder of the The Math Guru, a tutoring facility, says kids as young as kindergarten age are declaring they hate math. (Rick Madonik / Toronto Star)

And right now Ontario teachers are struggling to respond to last-minute directives from the Ford administration on math curriculum, meaning there could be added confusion trickling into homework hour this fall. In fact, one tutoring business owner said the phone starting ringing with worried parents earlier than ever this year, well before the end of summer.

The good news is that the breadth of services available for tutoring is increasing to meet demand, and with a little effort to find the right fit between tutor and child, families have a shot at a lot more homework harmony.

Vanessa Vakharia, founder of the The Math Guru, a math and science tutoring facility on Toronto’s Yonge St., says the parents she hears from report younger and younger kids declaring that they hate math — even, sadly, some in kindergarten.

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“Our bread and butter used to be high school students and now we’ve got so many younger kids,” says Vakharia. At a time when anxiety about school work is already on the rise, the political drama around Ontario curriculum hasn’t helped, she says. “Now parents are, even more so than they were before, really going to be looking for tutors who can make sense of what’s going on and give kids what they need.”

Her approach is to match student with a tutor who not only suits their learning style, but helps them picture themselves as the kind of person who can excel in math and science.

“If you have a kid who’s super sporty and really doesn’t care about school, I like to match him with a tutor who loves sports, but also loves math so they can see, ‘Oh, there’s this type of person that I can be. I can actually like both things.’ ”

Making that connection was key in Vakharia’s own experience because she failed math twice in high school before switching to a school where she was challenged to re-examine her perception that she was an arty person who’d never be good at STEM subjects.

“I wanted to be the next Britney Spears and I thought I couldn’t do both,” she says. “Now I’m in a rock band and I’m a math tutor. I love telling people that because this role modelling is so important.”

Vakharia also pairs students who are suffering from high anxiety and lack of confidence in math with tutors who are great at giving pep talks.

“We’re kind of like educational therapists, in a way, trying to help kids navigate their emotions and feel competent.”

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On the flip side, a high-achieving student can be matched with someone who will challenge them and keep them engaged.

For families looking for tutors who can come to the home, Diane Montgomery of Club Z! Tutoring’s east Toronto franchise also provides a tailored match between student and teacher.

Montgomery says she looks to pair kids with tutors who will not just fit their academic needs, but develop a good rapport and become someone your child looks forward to seeing.

Even though she’s a teacher by training, Montgomery struggled to help her own son — who has a learning disability — with his homework. Seeing that need prompted her to get into the tutoring business. Trying to help your own child with school work “definitely has a strain on the relationship because you’re constantly a nag,” she says.

“But when a student is accountable to a third party, they feel they have to produce the results because of that,” says Montgomery.

“Life is good at home” when your kids get the right support to thrive happily in school, says Toronto mom Wendy Fish. Her elder daughter, Nicole, is starting at Wilfrid Laurier University in Brantford, Ont., this semester. She struggled with math in high school but her time at The Math Guru turned that around.

Although Nicole will pursue the humanities subjects she loves most at university, “her Grade 11 math mark was in the 70s and good enough to get her early acceptance, thanks in large part to Vanessa,” says Fish. Her overall average was 93 per cent.

Kirk Langford, operations manager for Scholars Education Centre, which has 23 locations in Ontario, most of them in the GTA, says it’s often difficult dynamics between parent and child that prompt families to turn to their company for tutoring.

“The students aren’t necessarily doing poorly in school, but the parents are tired of the homework fights, the tears at the table,” says Langford. Parents push their kids out of love, he says, “but it just becomes too frustrating for both sides.”

Scholars branches focus on identifying weak spots and addressing those, he says. When that job shifts to someone who isn’t a family member, work gets done in less time with a lot less drama.

“They still have to do some homework, but the frustrating part has disappeared and then parents can enjoy the time with their kids instead of being the bad guy.”

Carlos Patricio, owner and manager of Mathnasium of High Park, says parents shouldn’t get down on themselves for not being whizzes at teaching kids math. “It’s not enough to know math — there’s also a talent to explaining it and making kids understand it,” he says.

“Even those who are engineers and architects can’t get it across to the kids. There’s anxiety because mom explains it different than the teacher. We’re outsiders of the family environment so they’re more likely to listen to what we have to say to them. It’s just the way kids are.”

Brandie Weikle writes about parenting issues and is the host of The New Family Podcast and editor of thenewfamily.com. Follow her on Twitter: @bweikle

Tutoring companies across Toronto

Scholars Education Centre

Using its own assessment process to identify gaps in knowledge, these tutoring centres focus on bringing students up to speed on those weak areas with individual lesson plans. All subjects and ages.

23 Ontario locations, most in the GTA, extending from Stoney Creek to Thunder Bay.

Website: scholarscanada.com

Phone for a free trial: 1-866-307-9476

Club Z In-Home Tutoring Services

Great for students who prefer to work one-on-one with a tutor in the comfort of their home, and for parents who like both the convenience this brings and ease of communication with their child’s tutor, selected for a good personality fit. All subjects and ages.

A franchise serving East Toronto

website: tutors.clubztutoring.com/east-toronto/

Phone for free in-home consultation: 647-793-3000

Mathnasium

Using its own curriculum materials that focus on math fundamentals not taught in class, but supporting the Ontario curriculum, this subject-specific chain of learning centre offers a small classroom setting with a ratio of three students to one teacher. The idea is to expose students to a variety of instructors with different ways of explaining and solving math problems. All ages.

Dozens of locations across the GTA and beyond.

Website: mathnasium.ca

Phone: 877-601-MATH (6284)

The Math Guru

In comfy, boho-chic surroundings, this popular math-specific centre eschews the standard classroom/boardroom feel of most learning settings with an emphasis on stress management and a positive attitude. Kids are paired one-on-one with tutors who share their interests outside of school and fit their learning styles. Math and science instruction from K-12. Also provides tutoring in French.

Math Hacks: Cool Tip + Less Stress = Better Marks! By Vanessa “The Math Guru” Vakharia, Scholastic, Sept. 11, available for preorder. In addition to illustrated instruction on how to tackle common math challenges, this new book also has 40 pages of tips on how to study, how to manage anxiety, and how to improve marks without feeling pressure.