Despite being one of the loudest, dumbest and profoundly ridiculous films released in ever, Battleship has performed remarkably well at the box office. So how did a plotless board game consisting of alpha-numerical grid references get turned into a money-making blockbuster? It's genius, really. Mindblowing, in fact. One word: 'aliens'.

"Well... what did you expect?" I don't give much credence to people who equate 'blockbuster' with 'brainless entertainment'. Just because it has a big budget, is based on a board game, stars dramatically-challenged pop singer Rihanna and is a blatant Transformers stand-in for an Optimus-free summer, doesn't give Battleship the excuse to be average. All of this puts it at an instant disadvantage when it comes to preconceptions, sure, but I for one hoped that director Peter Berg could pull a soggy rabbit out of his hat. After all, how can you make a $200 million alien invasion blockbuster set on water, featuring methods of transport so lumbering and slow, it takes them an hour just to change direction? How indeed. The answer is OH MY GOD LOOK AN EXPLOSION!!!

Frankly, I'm only posting this because a) it has explosions and Liam Neeson in it, my two favourite things, b) it's a trailer and not a teaser for a trailer, naming no names RIDLEY SCOTT'S PROMETHEUS, and c) it's not camcorder footage of a Twilight sequel playing on TV in a shop. News!