Sunday, March 3, 2013

the tale of the kuma.

I returned home yesterday after a great weekend on Nuapapu and unlocked my front door.

Excited at the prospect of an uneventful and quiet Sunday evening, I was instead met by the most awful smell these two nostrils have ever sniffed.

It was so bad. So so bad.

I initially thought "Mandy, you must have left some food out. Way to go."

But I couldn't figure out what food would cause such a stank.

So I cleaned out the fridge and sprayed some Fall Leaves Febreze, crossed my fingers and went to bed.

That sure didn't fix it because I awoke this morning and the stench seemed to have exponentially grown over night. And then I got to thinking...

A couple weeks ago I had a visitor who liked to eat through my peanut butter jars and nibble through my tea bags (who does that?). I knew I had a rat and I knew that something needed to be done about it. So the next time I was in town I picked up some rat poison and hoped that it would do the trick. Sure enough, the very next morning all the rat poison I had left out in a bowl the night before (I felt like some creepy kid leaving poison out for Santa) was gone. Mission accomplished. But I guess this kuma's (rat) dying wish was to be a pain in my backside. Because two weeks later (which, if you do the math, is many hot, humid and sticky days later) I am now stuck with a funky smell and no more rat. So I went sniffing this morning - determined to find the exact place in my tiny house where the stench was coming from. I sniffed and I sniffed and I sniffed... somewhere in the kitchen is what I had decided but I didn't have time to do anything about it because I needed to get to teaching. During a break, I told the teachers about how my house namu peka (smiled like a bat) and they laughed. Then one of the teachers came over and was nearly blown away by the odor. Seriously. He couldn't step in the house without dry heaving. It was THAT bad. He called three students over who started pulling everything out from underneath my sink. And sure enough... there that little bugger was. This rat had to have been a foot long. I've never seen anything so disgusting. Even my molokau story wasn't this gross. So these students took a 30-minute break and cleaned Ms. Mandy's house. Extra credit points anyone? What an exciting morning it was! The odor isn't quite gone yet, but I think I'm rat-free for the time being. Fist pump.

P.S. Sorry if you were grossed out by this post.

P.P.S. Sorry I'm not sorry... I wanted to tell you because gross things are a part of life and a part of Peace Corps.