Thursday, September 22, 2005

Parents-Support Us Or Else !

All The News That's Fit For Misfits(From The Yated-Where Else?)

Dear Editor,I am not one to write letters to the editor, yet when I read the letter “Skewed Attitude” in which a reader decries married children’s demands on their parents, I felt I had to respond. During my engagement, I was promised a certain amount of support from my parents that never materialized. Thus, I can speak as one who has “been there.” The situation in my case spiraled out of control when my in-laws felt that since the other side had not met their commitments, they were no longer bound by theirs. We used up all our chasuna money and any other savings we had just to cover our most basic living expenses during shana rishona. One can just imagine what kind of test this put our marriage through.

Both sets of parents claimed that they had too many other expenses and were thus not able to meet their commitments to us. We knew that to be untrue.

The most vital lesson I learned from going through that difficult time, is one which I feel is worth sharing with the readership of the Yated Ne’eman. Parents do not have an obligation to support their married children.

They have an opportunity to do so. Some parents take advantage of it, while others do not.

When parents help out or support their children financially, they are shelichim of the Ribono Shel Olam Who sends parnassa to every living being. They have the zechus of being the ones through whom the parnassa comes to their children.

Yet, the Ribono Shel Olam has many potential shelichim to send parnassa to a couple. Whatever amount of money a couple is supposed to have will come to them even if it is not through their parents.To the lady who wrote how her father did not purchase her a house when housing in Lakewood was still cheap, I would like to say: Please do not harbor resentment against your parents. True, they passed up an opportunity to assist you, but obviously, min haShomayim it was not coming to you. Close relatives used to ask me, “Why are you still in an apartment? Surely your parents could build you a house, let alone buy an existing one?” When the Ribono Shel Olam wanted us to have a house, we got one, boruch Hashem.

Parents-don't give up this zechus!Send your kids money even if you are dead broke. Go into hock for the selfish idiots you raised!When you get old and gray, they will return your zechus, with the zechus of having them shoving your tuchis in some nursing home.This is the BULLS*** they are being taught with your hard earned money!UOJ

9 Comments:

whats wrong with a healthy young man getting a job and working. Perhapes ,he'll build some characterand self esteem. Unless, he can learn 10 hours a day and have a goal of finishing shas and shulchan aruch. How can a kollel guy learn for 20 years and not finish shas and shulchan aruch? Itsunfathomable to me. I believe in the kollel system for those who can learn 10 hours a day, but if you can not be a earner and a learner (3 hours a day).When did having a job become a dirty word?If a guy spends most of his time "hocking" with his friends smoking cigarettes when his wife thinks his learning, this guy is heading for disaster---no self esteem and a ganov to boot. His stealing from his kollel and in laws. Working allows one to appreciate what he earns and money in general.It makes a man out of a boy. You have to deal with bosses, and people.iTs a true learning experience.

I'm a parent that reneged on his commitment to his children. Why?Because my lazy son in law would sleep till 10 stagger into yeshivah and was home when I called the house at noon. My daughter worked her tail off in school. I told her many times she's better off without this parasitic bum.

Get rid of ALL these parisitic rosh yeshivas.The board should take control of these institutions and put their HIRED rosh yeshivas on wages.There would be NO incentive for these rosh yeshivas to fill up their schools but ONLY with the cream of the crop.No government funding.......