Stop overthinking everything, you'll be happier

I don't remember how we got on the subject, but I was explaining to my 4-year-old the concept of a deserted island. I sensed he grokked it well enough that I went ahead and asked him the mother of all questions: “If you could bring only three things with you to a deserted island, what would they be?”

He looked at me and answered instantaneously with the first item he would bring with him. And to be clear, his answer was stated matter-of-factly; it wasn't an “a-ha” moment on his part. He heard the question and gave the answer, as easily as if I asked you what two plus two equals.

“A boat,” he said, like it was the most natural answer in the world, which, as it turns out, is the most natural answer in the world. Just to be sure, I asked why a boat.

“So I could get back home,” he said.

Well, duh.

I mean, go ahead and test out the above scenario. Go ask some random adult what they would bring with them to a deserted island. I bet no one says “boat,” even though once you think about it, it becomes just about the only thing everyone should bring with them. (Potable drinking water is up there also, but let's not dither over details.)

Anyway, this happened months ago, and I couldn't shake the feeling there was something momentous to be discovered as a result of what my son said. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I couldn't stop thinking about it.

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Now, finally, I think I've got it. It's pretty simple, in fact: Us adults are pretty stupid when it comes to just about everything and it's because we overthink just about everything. We consider all the angles. We wonder how it's all going to play out. And most of the time, the answers – whether we like them or not – are sitting right in front of us, and all the thinking in the world wouldn't change the obvious.

And even more often, these choices we agonize over? They simply don't matter.

“Report: Only .00003% Of Things That Happen Actually Matter” was a recent, typically satirical headline in The Onion. The “story” reads, in part, “Despite the sense of importance virtually all people place on the details of their day-to-day lives, a new report out this week from the Pew Research Center found that only three in every 10 million things that happen actually matter ... our research found that how much caffeine you drink, your kid's soccer game, what time the supermarket closes do not matter in any way, regardless of your level of interest in them.”

And while it may seem buying into The Onion's “joke” here would be a quick way to living either a whiny, “what does it all matter?” life (all, alternately, a nihilistic life), I'd like to think it might lead to a more thoughtful, enjoyable stay here on Earth. After all, if we stop overthinking every decision, if we realize most things don't matter, it would seem to free up plenty of mental time for more important pursuits, whether they be dreaming up plans for world peace or replaying game 6 of the 1986 World Series in our heads. (“Behind the bag. It gets through Buckner! Here comes Knight and the Mets win it!”)

But that's not all it would do.

If we managed to stop overthinking so much, I bet we'd all be happier. Think about it: How much of your day-to-day stress comes from wondering how this or that is going to play out, how you might be able to influence this or that, how this or that seems to be the most important thing in the world?

If you're anything like me, that's where most of my stress lies. Worrying about things. But if I allowed myself to stop worrying and just make quick decisions – get right to the fight, or just take flight and be done with it – I know I'd feel lighter. To free myself of that mental load? It would be fantastic.

Plus, it would simply save so much time. Instead of anguish, I could be ... well, I could probably even build a boat.

Jeff Edelstein can be reached at facebook.com/jeffreyedelstein and @jeffedelstein on Twitter.