Even during the academic
year, it's barely populated. Once Fall Break starts, though, the
place really empties out. Which isn't fair at all. I mean, I'm from
Missouri, which isn't terribly far away, but my parents still said
that it didn't make any sense for me to fly home just for break.
So I'm stuck on campus, while the great minds of Princeton's math,
economics, and physics departments get to return to their native
hemispheres for the week.

Hoagie Haven (good)

Hoagie Haven gets a
lot of free press in this column, but it's well deserved. I've been
seeing quite a bit of the place during break. The sandwiches are
good, and the guys who work behind the counter are tall. Surly,
but tall. Unlike the sophomore males, who are just surly.

Cleveland Tower (bad)

Another disappointment,
courtesy of the Graduate College. On the night before Halloween,
seduced by the almost-full moon, and finding the Butler College
courtyard insufficiently melancholy, I headed over to Cleveland
Tower. I had intended to scare the pants off the passersby by howling
from atop the tower, but these plans were checked when I discovered
that the entrance was locked. Note to werewolves: there's no such
thing as a spontaneous visit to Cleveland Tower. You've got to check
in at the Porter's Lodge, you can only visit at certain times, and
you can't go up alone. No alcohol, either. So much for that.

Free Flu Shots (good)

After mishandling the
Frist anthrax incident, the university got dressed down by the Prince.
Being criticized in a poorly reasoned editorial didn't change anything,
but the flood of hypochondriacs who overwhelmed McCosh did. In an
effort to separate people who are sick from people who are really
sick, the university has decided to offer free flu shots. But the
meningitis shots will still cost you.

Garden Movie Theater
(ugly)

Please, please, show
something lowbrow. I didn't like the new David Lynch film, and subtitles
just don't do it for me. When I go out to see a movie, I want to
sit with the punk townie kids, not with a bunch of yuppies who think
they're avant-garde. Who do they think they're fooling with those
Buddy Holly glasses, anyway? We all know where they work during
the day, and it ain't the East Village.

Spare Time (good)

No classes, no exams.
Too bad the whole year isn't like this. Then again, no Street, either.
Plus, there's the uncomfortable sensation that, with only six weeks
of school under our belts, it's a little early for a break. Or so
my parents say.

The Frist Campus Center
(ugly)

It's outrageous that
Frist, the throbbing pulse of Princeton University, should shut
its doors at 8:00 pm during the break. Where are we supposed to
watch the World Series? And what happens if we get a hankering for
a midnight game of pool? But while Frist's hours may have changed,
the price gouging continues. Two dollars for bottled water, anyone?

Firestone Library (good)

The probability of running
into amorous undergraduates in the B-level stacks is lower during
break, but the probability of getting work done there is higher.
Too bad both copies of Evelyn Waugh's Scoop are still checked out.
Guess I'll have to do the economics reading, after all.