Thursday, September 15, 2011

After millions of people lost power in the wake of Hurricane Irene, GE Generator Systems took a poll, asking families who they'd want to spend time with in the event of a power outage of at least 48 hours.

And your choice, America, (or at least East Coast) was ELLEN DEGENERES.

It sounds like the choices were all TV hosts...and while we don't have a complete rundown, GE says Ellen got 21% of the vote, which was far ahead of such other choices as Regis & Kelly and Matt Lauer.

WANNA GET IT ON? TRY THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE...A British dating site conducted this study, but there's no reason to believe it's any different here in the States.

The dating site FreeDating.co.uk asked its members how likely they were to have sex on a first date, then looked at which dating profile details were most likely to indicate a person was easy.

As you might expect, it's far easier to find a guy willing to go all the way on the first date. Four in six men are open to it, while only one in six ladies are.

The attribute that best predicted whether a woman would go all the way on a first date was...her size. Overweight women were far more likely than thin girls to give it up on the first date, and women over 5'9" were more likely than shorter women.

And the overall female profile most likely to be down with first-date sex is: Tall, heavier, separated, white, in her early 20s, moderate drinker, and poorly educated.

Go figure!

For men, the best way to predict first-date sex was marital status. Married men were far more likely to go all the way on a first date.

The male profile most likely to have sex on the first date is a guy who's married, mixed-race, in his late 20s, athletic, well-educated, and a moderate drinker and smoker.

And for both genders, the older a person gets, the less likely they are to have sex on the first date. Damn.

SOCIAL NETWORKING FOR COUPLES?If you're annoyed by couples who use Facebook to post sappy declarations of love for each other...or you're part of one of those couples, and Facebook doesn't do it for you...listen up.

The latest trend is a social network for COUPLES. There are new social networks geared towards couples that allow you to interact with your significant other online...but in private.

Um...don't you see them all the time? Why the HELL do you need a social network to interact with them. Here's a concept...TALK TO THEM! OK, I'm behind the times or something...

One of the new sites is named Snuggle Cloud, and their ads explain that, "While Facebook is like a party for your friends, Snuggle Cloud is like a candlelit dinner."

Snuggle Cloud has been around since November, but they're launching an app version next week. It allows you to engage in e-flirting, post gift ideas for each other, and keep track of important dates in your relationship. (well THAT could be handy!)

Coming next month is Kahnoodle, which focuses more on the couple's relationship between the sheets.

You have to be over 21 to use Kahnoodle, and they'll let you exchange "love taps" with your partner, which are a combination of a Facebook poke and a straight-out request for sex that night. (!)

THE BEERS THAT NO LONGER SATISFY YOUR CRAVING...A website called 24/7 Wall Street crunched some data and came up with a list called "The Eight Beers Americans No Longer Drink." That's how they presented it anyway, but it's actually "The Eight Beers Americans No Longer Love."

Because some of the beers on the list are HUGE. In fact, number eight is Budweiser. But the point of the list is to show which American beers have seen a MASSIVE dive in national sales because of weakening demand.

All eight have lost 30% or more in sales between 2005 and 2010. It's because more and more people are drinking imports and micro-brewed craft beers. Check 'em out.

#1.) Michelob...down 72%. Think about it: When's the last time you had one?

#2.) Michelob Light...down 68%. Same thing. But both are brewed by Anheuser-Busch InBev, the Belgian company that now owns Budweiser. More about them later.

Michelob Light was the beer Anheuser-Busch first put up against Miller Lite, before they came up with Bud Light. So, basically it lost that three-way race.

#3.) Bud Select...down 60%. That's Bud's super low-calorie beer.

#4.) Milwaukee's Best...down 53%. The Beast! It's made by MillerCoors, but it's taking hits from PBR and Keystone, which have better ad campaigns.

#5.) Old Milwaukee...down 52%. Not to be confused with The Beast, it's actually made by Pabst.

#6.) Miller Genuine Draft...down 51%.

#7.) Milwaukee's Best Light...down 34%. A light version of The Beast. Again, they just can't compete with the successful marketing of Bud Light and Miller Lite.

#8.) Budweiser...down 30%. The only beer that's more popular is Bud Light, so I'm sure they're not worried. But when you're that huge, and you're selling 7 million barrels less than you're used to, that's not good.

SHADY, SNEAKY WOMEN...Gender stereotypes say that women like to SPY and GOSSIP more than men. And a new survey has found that stereotype is...absolutely right.

In the survey, about 20% of women admitted they've broken into their partner's email or Facebook. HALF as many men...10%...have done the same.

The survey also found that 15% of women have used the info they found to start a FIGHT. Less than half as many men, 7% have done the same.

NAKEDNESS ON GOOGLE MAPS!!!The Internet isn't exactly lacking in nude photos...but when one like this manages to light up that deviant, voyeuristic part of your brain, it rises to the top of the pile.

You may not have used Google Maps STREET VIEW tool before, but it's AWESOME. Check it out at googlemaps.com To make their Street View maps, Google sends cars around taking photos. And sometimes, those photos capture people. And this time, they captured a FULLY NUDE WOMAN.

The woman was standing on the doorstep of her house in Miami...completely naked. It appears she's holding a jug of water. (Although that won't be the jug that catches your eye. HI-YO!)

Usually Google pixelates people's faces on their Street View maps...but this one managed to slip through for a few days before they caught it and censored the woman's face and body.

GAGA'S NEW TOY...LADY GAGA has been nailing actor TAYLOR KINNEY...the guy in her "You & I" video. And now the "Star" tabloid claims she stole him from another woman.

A source says, "Kinney said he told Gaga he had a girlfriend. He never tried to hide it, but Gaga didn't care."

And how did Kinney's girlfriend find out he was cheating on her? She got a POCKET DIAL from him, and heard them making out.

Allegedly.

HOW MEN AND WOMEN REACT TO CHEATERS...According to a new study by the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania, there's a big difference in the way that men and women react when they find out someone is cheating on them.

They're both FURIOUS and feel like their world is collapsing...that's universal. But their reason for being furious is different.

Women mainly worry their husband has fallen in LOVE with another woman...men mainly worry about all of the nasty sexual things some other dude did to their wife.

The study found when a woman finds out she's been cheated on, 71% of her questions focus on the emotional side of the affair and 29% focus on the sex. For men, 57% of questions are about the sex, 43% are about emotions.

The researchers behind the study say this is basic evolutionary biology.

Men are wired to worry about providing for and raising a child that's not theirs. So when their wife cheats, their main concern is she's been knocked up by the other guy.

Women are wired to worry about having a man stick with them. So when their husband cheats, their main concern is he's now devoted to another woman and will abandon his family.

HALLOWEEN IS APPROACHING...Almost time to think Halloween! That 'superstore' is gearing up on 62.

According to a new survey, two out of three adults plan to wear a costume this Halloween. Nine out of ten that are dressing up plan to buy a new costume this year, instead of reusing an old one.

87% of kids are dressing up for Halloween, and 93% of the ones that are say they want a new costume too.

The average adult spends 61 days planning and putting together their costume. One in eight begin planning a YEAR in advance.

Adults are so serious about Halloween that they plan to spend more on their costume than on their kid's. They'll spend $52 on their own costume, but just $32 per child.

Pet owners plan to spend $59 on a Halloween costume for their dog or cat. That's seven dollars more than they're spending on themselves, and $25 more than they're spending on their kid.

WORK RECESS?If you got to run around outside for a few minutes every day, maybe swing on some monkey bars or throw around a football...would it make you a better worker?

An outdoor footwear company called KEEN surveyed full-time American workers to find ways they could improve productivity. The answer: Recess.

53% of the workers surveyed thought that taking a 10-minute outdoor recess each day would make them happier, healthier and more productive.

Two in five workers thought it would be a good way to reduce workplace stress. One in three thought it would make them more productive all day long.

Nearly three in four workers said they'd never had a recess break at work. (Where do the other one in four work?)

Despite the fact that 53% thought it was a good idea, only 44% of workers say they'd actually TAKE RECESS if their company offered it.

Women and young employees were most likely to say they'd take a recess.

ROAST BEEF ART THIEF...This just might be the lamest ART HEIST in history.

It happened back during Labor Day weekend but just made the news now. In Johnson City, Tennessee, (YEE-HAW!) two middle-aged women were arrested for stealing art...off the walls of an ARBY'S.

I didn't even know they HAD art on the walls of Arby's...but I'd guess it's just that generic, mass-produced stuff that's meant to blend into the background so you subconsciously feel a little classy as you gorge on curly fries.

Anyway, on September 3rd, 45-year-old Connie Sumlin and 58-year-old Gail Johnson went to an Arby's in Johnson City...and yanked a piece of art off the wall.

The police didn't describe the piece of art they took, but apparently it wasn't that cheap...because when they were arrested, they were both charged with theft of over $500.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I WANT SOMEONE TO USE THIS WEBSITE...FOR ME!Farmville and catching up with old friends is great, but the true beauty of Facebook is stalking people.

That's what makes this new website so great. You can now acknowledge the Facebook profiles that are most useful to you for self-pleasuring purposes...at ThankYourWank.com.

And ThankYourWank keeps track of how many Wanks each person gets, so you can find out how many people are violating themselves to YOUR beach photos. It also lets you keep track of your favorite wanking sites with a personal 'To Do' list.

In case you're wondering, the top-ranked female Wank is currently Jennie June of Rome, Italy, who has been the inspiration for 1,407 instances of self-pleasure. (It'll be 1,408 after this next commercial break.)

The top-rated guy Wank is Simon Lomas of Manchester, England. He's sent ladies to the produce drawer an astounding 1,505 times.

The site has some other interesting features. If you're self-pleasuring to someone...and they're also using YOU for inspiration, the site will send you an Instant Alert for mutual wanks, so you two can get together.

You can also vote in Wank Offs between two celebrities, or two profiles. In recent Wank Offs, Jennifer Aniston beat Angelina Jolie, Katy Perry crushed Rihanna, and Megan Fox beat Scarlett Johansson.

HOW WOULD YOU GRADE *YOURSELF*?We've got the results of an interesting new survey from the marketing agency Euro RSCG Worldwide. They asked Americans to give themselves letter grades on how they're handling different aspects of life. It's a letter grade. I'm gonna grade myself, you can too. The results are below.

HAPPINESS: I'd give myself a C. I'd say its average. Some days I hate life, some I love it.

ROMANCE: A-/B+ - got skills here, son!

CAREER SUCCESS: C- - working to turn it around though!

WEIGHT MANAGEMENT: D

FINANCES AND FINANCIAL SECURITY: ehh, B

PERSONALITY: Hello, I'm pretty awesome! A-

OK, the results:

Happiness. 61% of both men and women give themselves an A or a B...39% give themselves a C, a D, or an F.

Romance. 49% of men give themselves an A or B, and 51% give themselves a C, D, or F. 54% of women give themselves an A or B, and 46% said C, D, or F.

Career success. 55% of men went with A or B, and 45% went with C, D, or F. 48% of women said A or B, and 52% said C, D, or F.

Weight management. 54% of men said they should get an A or a B, and 46% said C, D, or F. For women, 39% said A or B, while 61% said C, D, or F.

Finances and financial security. 43% of men gave themselves an A or B, and 57% went with C, D, or F. 42% of women said A or B, and 58% said C, D, or F.

Personality. 74% of men say their personality is an A or a B, and 26% say C, D, or F. 79% of women give themselves an A or a B...21% said C, D, or F.

WEEZY SETS A RECORD...Last month, "Watch the Throne"...the KANYE WEST / JAY-Z collaboration...sold 290,000 copies in its first week on iTunes. That broke the iTunes record for most album downloads in one week.

But that record was short-lived, because LIL WAYNE just broke it.

Wayne's "Tha Carter 4" was downloaded 300,000 times in the first four days it was available. Even more impressive: "Tha Carter 4" was not an iTunes exclusive like "Watch the Throne" was.

If you count both digital and CD sales, "Tha Carter 4" may have sold over 850,000 copies in its first week, which ended Sunday. The official numbers won't be released until tomorrow.

WHEN WERE YOU BORN?This sounds like some mix of astrology, superstition, and an old wives' tale...but apparently there's actual data to back it up.

A new study out of England found that the MONTH when someone is born makes a big impact on their future career.

It's hard to figure out the science behind it...there are theories about things like the amount of sunlight pregnant women are exposed to, or the allergies children are more prone to in different seasons. But no one's really sure.

All they know is that data has shown people born in certain months end up in certain careers more often. Here are the findings...

FEBRUARY. Lots of artists and traffic cops, fewer physicists. Also, people born in February are most prone to narcolepsy. (???)

MARCH. Lots of pilots and musicians.

APRIL. The only career that's overrepresented in April over time is...dictators. People born in April are also more likely to have lower-than-average IQs, and more health problems.

MAY. Lots of politicians, fewer pro athletes.

JUNE. Lots of CEOs. Also high on Nobel Prize winners.

JULY. Lots of manual laborers and artists.

AUGUST. Lots of manual laborers and high-ranking politicians.

SEPTEMBER. Lots of people in academia and sports.

OCTOBER. Lots of politicians. People in October are also most likely to live the longest.

NOVEMBER. Lots of serial killers. Also, people born in November are most prone to bipolar disorder.

DECEMBER. Lots of dentists. Also lots of religious and secular MESSIAHS...everyone from JESUS...to STALIN and MAO.

FROM THE "DUH!!!!" FILE: TEENAGERS ARE EMBARASSED BY THEIR PARENTSAccording to a new survey commissioned by Twentieth Century Fox, 88% of teenagers, admit they're EMBARRASSED by their parents.

The two main causes of embarrassment are when their parents DANCE over-enthusiastically at celebrations like weddings...and when their parents engage in public displays of affection. PDA!

72% of teenagers say they hold off on introducing a new boyfriend or girlfriend to their parents because they're afraid of being embarrassed.

What about adults?

60% say their parents tell them exaggerated stories about back when THEY were teenagers.

But how would you know?

And a quarter of parents admit their kids are RIGHT, they do exaggerate...26% have lied to their kids about how well they did in school, and 24% lie about having gone to a classic concert.

RUH ROHA guy broke into Celine Dion's house, ate some pastries and ran himself a bath. It's OK though, Celine never called authorities. She began SINGING and the man fled the home.

MORE ON THE FIRING OF THE "MY CHEM" DRUMMER...MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE fired their touring drummer MICHAEL PEDICONE over the weekend for stealing from them. At the time, Michael admitted that he made a, quote, "error in judgment"...but he didn't get into the particulars.

Well, Michael offered a little insight into his motives yesterday. Basically, he says he didn't REALLY steal anything from the band...he was just trying to frame a member of the band's crew and get HIM fired.

He explains, "I ran into problems with a member of the band's crew who I'll not name. The problems were many, big and small, but some of them were large enough that they began to greatly impact me and, by extension, my family.

"I'd reached my wits' end, and I made what was certainly the poorest decision of my life. Rather than address the issues that I had with the crew member in an open and honest manner, I tried to make them look irresponsible.

"My intention was to make this person look incompetent...[I had] no intention of profiting [from the theft]."

This is just a guess, but maybe Michael took some equipment or something...and hid it...in an effort to make it appear that this crew member had neglected to bring it along.

Regardless, it's STUPID and we've heard nothing out of MCR or their camp on this latest development. However, they had said originally that it was the one and only time they would publicly address it.

They'll open for BLINK-182 at Blossom next Tuesday. TICKETS on The DeLuca Show all this week!

LIKE TO RIDE DIRTY?There's nothing like some good dirty talk. As long as the other person doesn't get too technical, like, "Oh, that feels nice on my perineum." I mean, right? Anyway...

And it turns out, MOST of us have FILTHY MOUTHS when we're getting-it-on.

A new poll from the online adult toy shop Adam & Eve found that 80% of adults say they TALK DIRTY during relations. And that includes 12% who talk dirty EVERY SINGLE TIME they're having sex.

For just Adam & Eve's customers...who are obviously going to be a bit more sexually liberated than the average American...90% engage in dirty talk.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

PROMISCUOUS GIRRRRL...Well it's official. I need to move. If I want to have meaningless casual sex, I might want to consider a trip to...the Pacific Northwest?

The dating site OKCupid has come up with a list of America's most promiscuous cities: They looked at the profiles on their site, and which cities had the highest percentage of people seeking "Casual sex" as their preferred type of relationship.

Based on that, the most promiscuous city in America is...Portland, Oregon. In second place is another city in the Pacific Northwest: Seattle, Washington.

But...ready for good news? The #3 city is right down the road...PITTSBURGH!!!
#3.) Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

OHIO: 4TH4th what, you ask? 4th most UNHAPPY state in the U.S.A! WOOHOO!
The people at the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index just released their list ranking U.S. states by happiness. And not really a surprise, Hawaii...the one state that's a tropical paradise...is the happiest place in the country.

The rankings are based on six factors: How happy you are about your current situation and the near future...emotional health...job satisfaction...physical health...healthy behavior...and basic access to health care and exercise.

On the unhappy end of the scale, West Virginia came in last place. It finished just below Kentucky, Mississippi, OHIO, and Louisiana

GAGA DOES BART...LADY GAGA is voicing a character on an upcoming episode of "The Simpsons". She's playing herself...and at some point, she kisses MARGE. Lady Gaga says, "I play a little bit of a slut. The apple doesn't fall far from my artistic tree."

But she loved doing it. Gaga says, quote, "Their characters are so awesomely convincing and sincere and wild and funny, I had to remind myself constantly of the sincerity of the humor.

"I would say this is one of the coolest things I've ever done."

OHHHH, THIS HAS GOTTA BE THE (SINGLE) LIFE...If you're like me, a single guy hoping a couple hot single chicks move in to the apartment next door (I just want ANYONE ELSE to move in to the apartment next door), I have some bad news for you.

A survey from Rent.com found that most single women don't want to have a single guy as a neighbor.

While almost half of all single men said they'd like to live next to an available woman, only 17% of the women said they'd want a single guy next door.

One in four women would rather live next door to neighbors with pets than a guy looking for a date.

In fact, most women aren't thinking about single guys at all when they're looking for a place to live. 57% of them say they make a housing decision based on affordability.

And even if you do luck out and live next to an available lady, she probably isn't shacking up with a hot roommate. Only 9% of single women share their place with another female.

Interesting. I've known plenty of girls who lives with girl roomies. Even dated a few.

Also ladies, Rent.com also looked at which cities had the best combination of professional opportunities, social life, and hot guys. And the best city for single women is...Phoenix, Arizona.

The rest of the top five are Seattle, Austin, Denver, and Washington, D.C.

AN MLB PLAYER MISSED HIS AT-BAT...CAUSE HE WAS IN THE BATHROOMAngel Pagan is an outfielder on the New York Mets. And since he's not a particularly well-known player...this is now officially what he's going to be known for.

On Monday night, the Mets were playing the Phillies in Philadelphia. And as the Mets wrapped up the bottom of the fourth inning, Pagan felt something going on in his stomach and knew he needed to sit himself on the toilet...NOW.

There was only one problem. He was scheduled to be the third batter that inning. He told the trainer he had to hit the bathroom and he'd rush so he could be done in time to bat.

But he wasn't.

And when the two guys before him got out quickly, he realized he was going to be late to his at-bat.

The crowd started booing and he finally got out to the field after a short delay. He quickly grounded out to end the inning...and after that, the manager pulled him and put a different player in center field.

After the game, Pagan and the manager had a meeting and smoothed over the diarrhea incident.

The Mets ended up losing 10-to-nothing. But BOOING cause the guy was POOING is not cool!

MO MONEY, MO PROBLEMS...Could be VERY true in this case!
Here's a way you can tell what's going on in your date's mind. A new study found that when a guy is looking for a relationship, he's MUCH more willing to spend money than when he's just looking to do a quick pump-and-dump.

The study found that men will spend 60% more on a date when they're looking for a relationship. That turned out to be an average of a $73 difference.

So, in other words, if a guy just wants to have sex with you, expect dinner at Wendy's. But if he wants a commitment...well, you still might want Wendy's because it's delicious, and he'll be fine with you Biggie Sizing!!

OH NO...NOW what are we going to steal? According to an article in "USA Today", more and more hotels are getting rid of the mini bottles of shampoo...and replacing them with refillable pump canisters.

The hotels say it reduces waste. And while some of them are claiming it doesn't reduce cost...we all know they wouldn't do it if it wasn't profitable.

So far, this is rolling out in some higher-end chains, like Viceroy Hotels and some of the Starwood luxury hotels. But it could affect the places real people stay too...and it could happen sooner rather than later.