Why you should date your best friend

When it comes to whom to date I have a simple rule: only date your best friends. Granted, I am demisexual and therefore I'm just not attracted to anyone else, but logically this works out as well and here is why. Think of your ideal relationship. What do you really look for in a girl/guy and compare that to your favorite characteristics of your best friend, I'll bet those two list are pretty identical. Here is what probably overlaps:

1) You can find the fun in anything

Have you ever noticed that everything is more fun when you are with your friends? I bet you look for someone who makes you laugh, and I bet your best friend can do that without thinking about it.

2) They go out of their way to help you because they want to

I bet your BFF know how to brighten even the worst of days. I bet they do it without wanting anything in return except for you to be there for them when they have bad ones as well.

3) You feel empty without them

When you picture your life in 5, 10 years where you are in relation to your friends and how does that make you feel. Wouldn't it be better if they were lying in the bed next to you?

And in the dating process you get to cut out the worst parts. It is like skipping to the point where you've been dating for months from the start. How sweet is that?

1) No awkward small talk

You already know the answers to them anyway. Might as well skip to the good stuff

2) Don't have to introduce them to your friends/family

Instant approval; they have probably been shipping you two for years anyway.

3) You get to be yourself from the beginning

Have you ever wondered how long you had to fake being semi-normal before he’s too interested to leave once they realize how weird you actually are? Don't have to worry, part of that weird is your best friend.

Be warned however, there are things to consider.

1) Are you dating for the right reasons?

Never date someone out of convenience, it will just be awkward later down the road. As always be genuine.

2) It may change your social groups

I always ask my friends first. I don't want to risk losing their friendship by making things weird. Likewise, try to not overly change your group dynamic. It can't always be as easy as it was in "Friends"

3) You could potentially lose your relationship

Depending on how terribly you screw up you risk losing them not only as a partner but as a friend and possibly your inner circle of friends with them. At the same time, if you are careful you can fall back on being 'just friends' it may me weird for a while, but true friends get over it.

Overall, I believe the benefits out way the risk. Done correctly and it could be the best relationship you have ever had. Screw up and it could be the worst break up you could imagine. What do you think?

Most Helpful Girl

I'm in a relationship right now with my best friend I've been friends with for 4 years. It was decision to ruin the friendship or not because we both felt like there was something more than friendship. We're doing great now. He had some bonding issues but he could get over that quite easily since he already knew me very well. It's also pretty convenient in our sex life since we felt pretty comfortable from the start and we know that if someone is not pleased with something, the person will speak out loud. So our communication is really good. Although I'm not sure if it will always work between friends. If you don't find eachother attractive at all then there's not much chance.

First off congrats. Second, I agree with your last statement. It isn't about necessarily making a relationship out of your best friend, but realizing they are a possibility as most people over look their best friend.

Most Helpful Guy

Anonymous

I agree with this and I don't see why so many people insist that there HAS to be a boundary between friends and those with relationship potential. If you're already friends with someone, then it's exactly like the Take says - you don't have to waste time on boring small-talk and you can be yourself right away.

The people that say that friends are ONLY friends, I feel, are just afraid to say that they think their friends are ugly and boring (in which case why are you even friends with them?), because they don't want to see themselves as elitist. It's about themselves and protecting their own self-image.

What Girls Said 11

Amen! I've been with a guy who was formerly my really close friend for two years now, and I couldn't be any happier. Whenever I hear people saying '... oh no, he's just you friend. You can't date him!' then rambling on about how messed up the latest guy they met was, I can't help but think of how very wrong they are with the friend thing.

As you've highlighted in this take, all of the risks that come with dating someone new, like failing to get approval from friends/family, zero potential for good conversation, etc., are figured out before you're even together. It's like the perfect combination, to start your relationship a few steps ahead of everyone, already being best friends and just adding in the sexual component. :)

I wouldn't date my closest male friend. I just dont feel that way about him. And he doesn't feel that way about me. I even find him cute, but to me its the same as knowing my brother is a cute guy but I'm not attracted to him.

No thanks. If a friend is a friend, then I have no attraction for them. I won't date someone I'm not attracted to just because they're a good friend. It's impossible for me to turn something strictly platonic into something more.

Dating your best friend could go either way. I personally think that your significant other should be someone who has opposite qualities of you, that way you are complimenting each other for what they other person lacks. Dating someone who is not like you is fun and refreshing. You are always learning something new.

I'm dating my best friend and were absolutely so happy together! literally never a dull moment. we have deep conversations, goof off, cuddle, and just never get tired of each other. I never thought i would find someone as amazing as him and be able to tell a story as true as this one

But sometimes, the best thing is silence. You know you are meant for each other when you can sit on opposite ends of the couch for hours just talking and empty pauses between conversations are not weird or awkward and you are both content just being in each others presence. That is the ultimate goal in my mind.

I know exactly where you are coming from. I have friends that all you have to do to get information out of is to sit in silence and all comes pouring out to fill the silence. That is where I am lucky and found someone equally quiet as me to a little less. It is just harder to find these gems because they won't be seeking you out. Like actual gems you have to put in the effort in finding them.

True, they spill it all out while I just say the words "yes", "interesting", "maybe", "good point".On the gems, hard to find them, when both are quiet and just listening.I also lack imagination a lot. Like even if I could talk freely, I wouldn't know what to say. Ever!

And that is/was the hardest part in making that decision to move forward. However I like to think that I know myself pretty well, and I know that if I somehow screw things up that bad, to the point where we could no longer be friends, I deserve it. But it is because I know myself and I know I would never intentionally or accidentally let things get that bad. I feel I would have the self awareness to get out of the relationship before that happens. So far so good, but always keeping my fingers crossed.

I can def see this working out. I mean finding the fun in anything. Never having small talks, etc. obviously as long as the 2 really feel like they should give it a shot and maybe they are the cheese to their macaroni. It's risky but it may just be the best thing they could have done :)

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Anonymous

Me and my best female friend ended up being lovers... Then she cheated on me with her ex... Friendship over...