Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Empty Womb

Several months ago I figured a baby would be growing within me right about now. As the holidays started to approach I started wishing them away. NOTHING I do helps. The happy face I carry around is not really a happy face. Its a face I put on to hide all the hurt eating away at me. Very few things bring out my true happy face. My husband on occasion, my nephew saying my name kinda I am eff or seff (I almost cried), my niece, and 2 people that mean the world to me telling me they r expecting after IVF. I am super excited for them but also jealous. If I didn't feel jealous I would think something is wrong. :-)

Adoption is at a stand still as we wait on fingerprints and background checks to come through. That should of been in almost a month ago. Now I am questioning is adoption what we should be doing? Nothing feels right anymore. As my husband says we have the worst luck. The buyer backed out on our house. My insides are messed up. I am always the positive one when he is negative. From this post its hard to tell but I am. But always thinking positive is really flipping hard.

No comments:

Post a Comment

About Me

My name is Stephanie. I am 28 and live in Oklahoma. I am married to a great Man. We have been together for almost 9 years & married 6. We have 3 yorkies Frank, Jessie, & Archie ( the James gang ). We are trying to sell our house so we can build our dream home on my familys ranch. Then one day raise a family in the country life that we love so much. I love being outdoors. I shot my first buck 2 years ago a 6 pointer. I love to fish. I grew up fishing with my family and to this day there is not a better way to spend a Spring,Summer or Fall day. My job is very demanding & STRESSFULL. I work at a Casino. There is always something new happening.