“The Carpenter’s” signature coiffure was recently placed on the proverbial chopping block after Gray Maynard‘s camp filed a formal complaint with the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board. Sanctioning bodies are responsible for determining “whether head or facial hair presents any hazard to the safety of the unarmed combatant or his opponent or will interfere with the supervision and conduct of the contest or exhibition.” Though Guida has the right to contest Camp Maynard’s objection to his hair, he has opted to braid his Medusa-like top for their bout rather than bog himself down with legal wranglings.

Look Dan, I get that your last victory represented a dramatic change in every aspect of your life, but let’s face it — that mohawk was your trademark, and without it, you look like just another guy on the sex offender registry. Not that you look like a sex offender in this photo; I’m definitely not saying that. But really, sex offenders can look like anybody these days. They can look like the dude who bags your groceries, or the kindly piano teacher down the block, or the maintenance worker at your local park. So theoretically, sure, you now look like somebody who could be a sex offender — which again, is basically anybody — whereas your mohawk gave you a conspicuous “LOOK AT ME!” kind of vibe that most sex offenders would never try to pull off, as they tend to prefer secrecy and a low profile. Does that make sense? You look like a normal guy now. That’s all I meant.

(The “MMA Hairstyles” shirt in athetic gray. Click here for a full-size version of the t-shirt design on its own.)

In collaboration with artist/illustrator Derek Eads, we’re proud to announce the latest semi-official t-shirt design from CagePotato.com. The “MMA Hairstyles” shirt features the iconic silhouettes of 20 MMA stars — or more accurately, 17 actual stars plus three fighters who have made infamousfollicularstatements. How quickly can you identify them all?

You can purchase this masterpiece for the fair price of $22 at Society6.com in your choice of eight different colors, five different sizes, and two different genders. (Prove your loyalty to the Potato Nation and buy all 80 variations!)