Jennifer Aniston Is Far More Pure Than You With Her ‘Purified System’

Sometimes, famous people, even those as fit and fab as Jennifer Aniston, are forced to be just like an average human on the street and eat something dreadful. I’m not suggesting that one of these nights you’ll find Aniston dumpster-diving in a dumpster near you, but she has — gasp! — eaten McDonald’s, and guess what? She hated it, because her body is such a fucking “purified system,” it can’t even handle such nastiness.

On a recent road trip with fiancé, Justin Theroux, Aniston admitted that without any other possibility of food in sight, she was forced to indulge in the culinary greatness that is McDonald’s. Seriously. Have you had their hashbrowns? Especially when you’re hungover? C’est perfection, my friends.

“I’ll never forget when Justin and I were on a road trip and we were so hungry,” Aniston explains, continuing, “The only thing around was McDonald’s. I think I ordered a Big Mac. Wow, my body did not react well to that! It was like putting gasoline in a purified system. I am always trying to eat organic and natural foods, so that just made my stomach turn and made me feel terrible. And I think what you put in your body, as well as stress, is reflected in the quality of your skin.”

“Gasoline in a purified system,” you guys. I’m so happy her body is so pure and perfect and awesome. I wish I could boast such a thing, but as I already mentioned, I like to indulge in McDonald’s hash browns a few times a year.

The actress who, may or may not ever actually tie the knot with Theroux, went on to explain the importance of water, exercise and clean food when it comes to keeping your body looking and feeling great. That’s all well and good, but I sometimes think celebrities fail to point out the obvious — their personal trainer, and sometimes even a personal live-in chef.

It’s great to preach things about body health and wellness, but at the end of the day, on top of all that work, there’s a personal trainer behind it all kicking their asses into shape. And, of course, making sure they stay away from the gasoline that is a Big Mac.

I suddenly no longer crave those awesome hash browns. I’m, for some reason, hankering for some gasoline instead. It must be because I’m not famous, or something.