Mashed-up wallabies create crop circles

The mystery of the crop circles that have recently appeared in Australian poppy fields has finally been resolved, the BBC reports.

Hungry wallabies in search of a meal have burgled fields of opium poppy, scoffed a few heads, and hopped around in circles “as high as a kite”, creating the arable formations beloved of stoners and New Age mystics the world over.

Speaking to a parliamentary hearing on poppy crop security, Tasmania’s attourney general Laura Giddings said: “We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles. Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high.”

Australia supplies half of the world’s legally-grown opium poppies, essential for the manufacture of morphine and methadone, used for pain relief and cleaning up smackheads respectively.

The cycle (or circle) of addiction is not confined to Australia’s indigenous marsupial population, according to Tasmanian Alkaloids spokesman Rick Rockliff: “There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting, and they all walk around in circles.”

[…] have evolved to get high off the millipede juice they spray over themselves to repel bugs. Even the wallabies are at it! In fact, animals getting high is such a prevalent phenomenon that there’s an […]