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An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car,
found four males trying to steal her van. She dropped her
shopping bags and drew her handgun, shouted at the top of
her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, loaded her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into driver's seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why...
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing.
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting
a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet
tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?""Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?""Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

A similar story in California also took place in a grocery store parking lot. It's a joke.
A woman finished shopping and put the bags of groceries in the back seat as the trunk was full. She returned the cart to the store and got in her car. Shortly after sitting in the driver's seat, she heard a loud 'pop' and something hit her in the back of her seat. Remembering how the crime rate had increased in recent months in the area and learning from TV programs that once shot, the victim doesn't always feel the pain right off the bat, she feared someone had shot her in the back. Knowing it was dangerous to move, she sat there frozen and unable to move. Meanwhile, several customers parking near her had come in and out of the store and left. Finally, after about 40 minutes, a customer asked her through the partially opened window if she was okay. She barely whispered and didn't move but mouthed the words "I've been shot". The customer was alarmed and asked where was she shot. She mouthed the words "in the back". The customer looked in the back seat and opened the back door. There on the floor was a 'popped open' can of Pillsbury biscuits.
The woman was blonde.

There on the floor was a 'popped open' can of Pillsbury biscuits. The woman was blonde.

LOL

The following ad was found in "The Atlanta Journal"

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE,

Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.I'm a very good-looking girl who LOVES to play.I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickuptruck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.. Candlelit dinners will have me eating out of your hand..Rub me the right way and watch me respond..I'll be at the front doorwhen you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me... Kiss me and I'm yours.

Call 372-4824 and ask for DaisyOver 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Societyabout an 8 week-old Labrador retriever puppy.

Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?""Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

Okay, one more from me only this is a TRUE story.
In a grocery store in California (forgot what city), a woman filled her cart with groceries and proceded to the checkout stand. She placed one of those black bars that separate one person's order from another's after hers so that the older lady behind her in line could begin placing her items on the belt. When the cashier got to the last item, she picked up that black plastic bar and tried to scan it. She ran it back and forth over and over again but it wouldn't scan. When she saw there was no bar code, she asked the customer if she knew the price. The customer maintained her composure at the amazing event happening before her and said, "Ya know, I change my mind, I don't want that after all."

No word on the hair color of the cashier.

This story came from a list of the Dumbest People in the News. I can't vouch for its validity, though. Cute nonetheless.

LOL Time ago we had really cold winter here in Holland.. So there was this man trying to open his car's fuel tank. Since it really was freezing cold, darn thing froze stiff and there was no way for poor guy to open it.. Man was in hurry to pic his inlaws up as he later explained to police investigator, so he came on idea to warm the lid up. He used his lighter, set the flame nice and high... And his car blow up...

Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"Sure is Bubba. But why you asking?""Cause what I want to know is, I was thinking, can I sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've slept with?"

Was that true notorious? Sounds like something that one idiot would do doesnt it?

LOL all your stories are good but this one gets the cake for me!
"The following ad was found in "The Atlanta Journal"

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE,

Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good-looking girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickuptruck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire..
Candlelit dinners will have me eating out of your hand..
Rub me the right way and watch me respond..
I'll be at the front doorwhen you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me... Kiss me and I'm yours.

Call 372-4824 and ask for Daisy

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society
about an 8 week-old Labrador retriever puppy. hysterical.gif hysterical.gif hysterical.gif"

Actually thats a quote of some sort. i was thinking the same thing but then i saw hysterical.gif hysterical.gif hysterical.gif". the " on the end is ending the whole quote that starts from "The following.