tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72628951454649952272018-03-06T14:18:48.149-05:00SlumlogLet's make Summers great again.slog1http://www.blogger.com/profile/15755636329015293889noreply@blogger.comBlogger484125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-66730431515356662752017-06-15T23:57:00.000-04:002017-06-15T23:57:36.694-04:00Summers Go Blues<span style="font-size: x-small;">People say that Summers &nbsp;is no good</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">But I wouldn't cut you loose, Joe, if I could</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Well, I seem to fall down on the ground,</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Donna, I'm too far gone to turn around</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">If you would make up your strongest drink,</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Take me where you go, I'm too drunk I really think</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">Summers, you got those come and go blues,</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Summers, you got those come and go blues,</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Yes, you do,Summers you got me feelin' like a fool</span>Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-82946758870089613602017-05-03T23:49:00.001-04:002017-05-03T23:49:50.396-04:00Jamming in Joe's Garage - Joe's Garage Part ISummers isn't very large<br />There's no room to cram the bums<br />In the corner over by the George<br />He's five foot four<br />And a total bore<br />With a cheesy little tramp<br />He always gives me a cramp<br />You know he can't handle a bar<br />Because he can't see that far<br /><br />Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-49657938958167841762017-04-13T22:52:00.002-04:002017-04-13T22:52:59.900-04:00Jamming in Joe's Garage - The Central Scrutinizer<div>This is Joe. I am the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...</div><div><br /></div><div>It is my responsibility to enforce some of the laws some of the time for some of the patrons and all of the laws for all of the patrons none of the time and remind none of the patrons of none of the laws that none of them even know. I certainly can't be bothered to give customers a heads up about the things that I haven't told them I've made up and aren't even laws but I judge them on because I've tried to hide my insecurities behind ABC regulations and unsubstantiated customer feedback because I have a fear of engaging with customers since I don't want to listen to them.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary drinking activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to you getting banned from Summers or having extra beers added to your tab because I can't be bothered to hire decent help let alone teach them how to do their job because I am so focused on expenses I don't have time to care about customer service (or worry about your credit rating).&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Our drinking institutions are full of little creeps like Summers regulars who do wrong things...</div><div>and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC! Our terrible Yelp reviews have shown that this horrible force is so dangerous to people walking by our establishment that more spurious made-up laws are being drawn up at this very moment to stop us playing music outside forever!</div>Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-7735884584277320282017-04-05T22:27:00.000-04:002017-04-05T22:27:12.029-04:00Customer Complaints - April 2017There are a lot of customer complaints at Summers.<br /><br />This one tickled our funny bone because it was made about someone that doesn't even work at Summers. There is a regular, let's call him Derek, who was in Summers one day to drink a couple of the cheapest beers in Arlington. He was wearing a dark shirt and sitting near the door and so he received complaints from customers because he didn't help seat everyone that walked in the door.<br /><br />I find it ironic that both Joe and other shitty Summers staff couldn't wait to mention perceived problems to this Summers regular rather than noticing their own service shortcomings.<br /><br />That is one of Joe's biggest management deficiencies, he would rather play the blame game and spread the criticism to customers and co-workers instead of making things better. Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-40778090625251621842017-04-03T21:17:00.000-04:002017-04-03T21:17:05.395-04:00Wrestlemania at SummersAnother Wrestlemania, another chance to show how fake Summers' customer service is.<br /><br />Once again, another Wrestlemania is upon us and once again Joe will prove that he doesn't know anything about business, running a bar, or what customer service even means.<br /><br />Hardcore wrestling fans started showing up well before the published Wrestlemania start time of 6 P.M. They waited patiently in an increasingly crowded front room without wrestling coverage as Joe made excuses about why he wouldn't open the back room.<br /><br />He didn't call anyone to come in early, he didn't put on wrestling coverage early and he certainly didn't come out and talk to his customers that were clearly showing their impatience.<br /><br />We here at Slumlog have no sympathy for Joe and scoff at his handling of the situation and his disregard for the customers, especially since the same thing happened last year and the year before.Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-2595629347139963342017-03-26T21:14:00.004-04:002017-03-26T21:14:45.574-04:002017 Musical Interlude #3 - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One BeerJohn Lee Hooker is just running through a list of everything Summers doesn't have in stock.<br /><br />John Lee wouldn't have to repeat the chorus over and over if Joe just looked at his inventory and ordered ahead or even thought about what his customers wanted or drank on a regular basis.<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/q-fSZRYeBWk" width="560"></iframe>Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-64489132554264525872017-03-21T22:17:00.000-04:002017-03-21T22:17:08.085-04:00People WatchingOne of our main missions here at Slumlog is to make Summers a nicer place to hang so that we and other customers and even random passersby can come and in and enjoy themselves even for a brief period after work before they have to head to a home they would rather avoid, and we do that by calling Joe on his shenanigans and pointing out all the shortcomings of his servers and waitstaff.<br /><br />But every once in a while w have to sit back and enjoy the glory that is Summers. First, we should appreciate the foot traffic that wanders, saunters, skips, runs, walks, plods, crawls, marches, meanders, bounces, drives, cycles, &nbsp;hops, bops, clops, drops or struts by Summers.<br /><br />The people watching at Summers, especially when the weather is good, is amazing.<br /><br />It is a pity Joe hasn't done more to capitalize on the prime location.Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-61304960629973150432017-03-18T22:58:00.004-04:002017-03-18T22:58:37.050-04:00Saint Patrick's Day at SummersNo luck of the Irish here.<br /><br />No luck for anyone else either. Joe in all his infinite dumbness didn't learn from his mistakes on St. Patrick's Day last when amateur drinks decided to spend the day out and tried to go to Four Courts like everyone else in Arlington and couldn't get in there so they decided to go to the next closet bar which was right across the street and which happens to be Summers.<br /><br />Summers was packed at peak St. Patrick's Day time and customers had to wait twice or three times as long as normal to get a drink. Joe should have doubled his staff or opened the Red Room.<br /><br />It was just another day (&amp; another St. Patrick's Day) when Joe proves he doesn't listen, he's incapable of learning from his mistakes and he doesn't really care about the customers that come to Summers.Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-10944259713932109602017-03-17T23:24:00.002-04:002017-03-17T23:24:50.772-04:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #12The big problem at Summers is the service<br />When I see George working I get nervous<br />It's not that he's that bad<br />He's just really sad<br />And to all the complaints he is impervious<br /><br />Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-20704539606722573072017-03-17T23:14:00.000-04:002017-03-17T23:14:00.696-04:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #11Today we got to see Slog1<br />After that drink she was done<br />We gleed<br />She fleed<br />And that's how to have funEss-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-7877451390168754952017-03-17T23:08:00.001-04:002017-03-17T23:08:36.263-04:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #10It is the start of another March Madness<br />The total chaos at Summers brings sadness<br />Joe is unaware<br />George don't care<br />Why is there so much epic badness?<br /><br />Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-25325806749912729912017-03-17T23:05:00.002-04:002017-03-17T23:05:20.108-04:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #9It is just one more St. Patrick's Day<br />When all the amateurs come out to play<br />They drink like fish<br />Would leave I wish<br />All I ask is please get out of my way<br /><br />Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-19172708820871786942017-03-16T22:02:00.001-04:002017-03-16T22:03:38.271-04:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #8There once was a man from Malta<br /><div>Thought nothing was ever his faulta</div><div>He couldn't spell</div><div>Customers did yell</div><div>Some threw shakers of salta</div>Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-42144323327064999362017-03-15T22:07:00.000-04:002017-03-15T22:07:49.046-04:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #7Joe should probably check on Summers' beer tubes<br />Beer is always warm and could use some &nbsp;ice cubes<br />Joe should also check the taps<br />What the hell happened to Pabst?<br />At least my beer glass doesn't have pubesEss-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-1676539083540650722017-03-14T23:33:00.001-04:002017-03-14T23:33:24.950-04:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #6A customer should never fear<br />This place will run out of beer<br />The beer may be warm<br />And may cause harm<br />But a new drink is always nearEss-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-24514513155840921242017-03-12T21:34:00.002-04:002017-03-12T21:34:20.354-04:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #5There's not a single soul alive<br />Don' t know Summers is a dive<br />We all know its a hole<br />There's a lot of rigmarole<br />Yet Joe still seems to thrive<br /><br />Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-83655735456462612552017-03-11T21:43:00.002-05:002017-03-11T21:43:32.973-05:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #4Summers always runs out of beer<br />It is going to hell I hear<br />I go 'cause its near<br />My friends often jeer<br />I should stop going I fearEss-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-18419234412151125162017-03-10T21:14:00.000-05:002017-03-10T21:14:37.431-05:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #3Summers is a place I used to drink<br />A place I never used to think<br />Now it just sucks<br />I spend a few bucks<br />Hope I don't end up in the clinkEss-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-28692467860272565872017-03-09T20:50:00.003-05:002017-03-09T20:50:55.466-05:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #2There once was a man named Jorge<br />Who couldn't make a drink anyway<br />He doesn't know spirits<br />He totally fears its<br />He's always asking "Porque?"<br /><br />Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-53143940733512717852017-03-06T23:01:00.002-05:002017-03-06T23:01:48.316-05:00Summers Limericks 2017 - #1There once was a manager named Joe<br />Who thought that he ran the shit show<br />He really doesn't care<br />'Cause customers aren't there<br />Wow, Summers does totally blowEss-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-53514971385284611992017-03-06T22:53:00.001-05:002017-03-06T22:55:15.317-05:00Introducing Summers Limericks 2017To celebrate Saint Patrick's Day 2017 Summers has not instituted a Limerick Contest. The winner will not be awarded a gift certificate for food or drink at Summers because Joe is stingy, also because this is not an officially-endorsed Summers contest. Those usually end in the prize money being withheld because Joe changed his mind after the fact or because he was disappointed at the poor turnout at one of his events that he forgot about and didn't mention to anyone.<br /><div><br /></div><div>The only reason we are holding this fake limerick contest is because Joe [insert euphemism here: "totally fucked up", "bungled", "completely forgot about", "mismanaged", "didn't give a sh!t about", "failed to remember to mention/advertise", "half-assed", "Monday morning-quarterbacked", "was hoping customers wouldn't notice he's completely dismissed them from his mind", "doesn't care about his customers are thinking and never seizes on any genuine business opportunities like drinking the night before the first day of Lent"] the traditional Mardi Gras Celebration at Summers.<br /><br />So we need to make Summers great again by having a fake limerick contest.</div>Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-30787271882268904622017-02-27T22:06:00.001-05:002017-02-27T22:06:34.666-05:00Annoying CustomersHow do you deal with annoying customers?<br /><br />I know it is a more difficult question than most at Summers due to the lack of customers (which leads to a lack of experience) but to be fair, the answer should not matter based on quantity or percentage.<br /><br />Take this evening for example.<br /><br />A single customer was playing potential phone ringtones such that everyone in the establishment could hear them, She was cackling and snorting to her heart's content with every ringtone she heard. Granted there were not a lot of customers in Summers at the time but part of the the Summers aesthetic is that you can come to Summers and find your own peace and quiet.<br /><br />At what point can you tell customers that they are being annoying?<br /><br />Does it matter they are annoying other customers?Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-3671476148332147132017-02-23T22:10:00.004-05:002017-02-23T22:11:25.441-05:00Take A Walk on the Summers sideI enjoy going to Summers and I enjoy the people I meet there.<br /><br />But..<br /><br />I would fear for my life if I had to walk down the street past Summers when the weather was nice.<br /><br />There is always a lot of hooting and hollering and shouting and frivolity and jumping and singing and clapping. But now that I think about it, as much as I would hate to be on the outside looking in, I enjoy being on the inside. That's why people go to Summers as a matter of fact, it is not the service, it is not the food, it is the camaraderie and friendship.Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-44628720515327669472017-02-21T22:54:00.001-05:002017-02-21T22:54:11.355-05:00Shock AbsorberI was in Summers today. Shocker. No, not that shocker, that is to say we are not giving our reader the shocker, instead our reader might be given a surprise with intense horror. Which they shouldn't be because I'm in Summers like every other day. I was being facetious anyway. Anyway, when I was in Summers today I learned that Summers had run out of Amstel Light. Shocker. Yes, that shocker. It certainly felt like Joe was giving his customers one in the stink. I mean who runs out of beer? Perhaps more egregiously, who then says that beer which people are drinking won't be available for at least a week? We shouldn't be shocked that Joe & Summers continue to set the customer service bar so low, but I continue to be shocked and it hurts.Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7262895145464995227.post-1259177029022592562017-02-18T22:23:00.000-05:002017-02-18T22:23:20.139-05:00Everything is Coming Up GeorgeOh, I hate serving customers.<div><br /></div><div>Hey, despite me customers still want to drink alcohol.</div><div><br /></div><div>Everything is coming up George.</div><div><br /></div><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/M67E9mpwBpM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> Ess-Doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15427492816477129175noreply@blogger.com0