Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The sadness monsters at the Fed have announced they're back again, hiding in your closet, waiting to spring out at the moment you're most vulnerable to scare you witless with some new grim economic prognostication. Take their actions today, the day before Thanksgiving. You know that awkward conversation you can't wait to have with the in-laws? You know, the one about how you haven't found a job and how tough the prospects are. Well....they're pretty sure you'll be having that conversation until at least 2012.

The unemployment rate will remain elevated for years to come, according to a forecast released Tuesday by the Federal Reserve that addresses for the first time economic conditions at the time of the next presidential election.

It paints a grim picture. Top Fed officials expect the unemployment rate to remain in the 6.8 to 7.5 percent range at the end of 2012 and said it could take "about five or six years" from now for economic activity to return to normal. The jobless rate was 10.2 percent in October.

But on the bright side: the stock market is over 10,000! Plus, GDP grew 3.5%! OK, they had to revise that down to 2.8%, but that's still growth! Why do you have to ruin all this good news with whining about how bad it is for you out there? Just go pick up your free charity turkey and shut up about not having a job. What's that? Demand for turkey's from charities is so high because of the recession that they're actually running out of them? *tugs at collar nervously* Ouch, tough room.

On the bright side, the job forecasts are so bad that even Democrats have taken notice, vowing action on a jobs bill...at some point. So hey, if they hurry on that, you can have something else to be immensely disappointed by for Christmas or New Years. Though, judging by the speed at which Congress acts, it'll be ready in time for St. Patty's. Luckily, by then no one will take your drinking problem for anything other than Irish holiday pride. See, the good news is piling up already!