Joaquin Phoenix’s ‘retirement’ explained: Surprise, it’s drugs

Joaquin Phoenix announced last week he’s retiring from acting to pursue a career in music. Sometime between that announcement and Saturday’s premiere of Che, where Joaquin arrived with the letters “Bye!” and “Good” written on his knuckles (above), the actor showed up to a reading blitzed as hell, according to Page Six:

The two-time Oscar nominee (“Walk the Line” and “Gladiator”) showed up to a tribute to Paul Newman last week in San Francisco and “was out of it,” said one attendee. Other actors were performing scenes and readings, but Phoenix just got up and walked out. “He wobbled back in a bit later, but it was odd,” said our source. “He was slurring his words and was unsteady on his feet.”

Joaquin’s rep says “He’s fine. He just wants to focus on music.” Which is Hollywood talk for “He’s buck naked riding my kids’ Power Wheels down to the 7-11 for smokes because apparently he’s Robert Downey Jr. now.”

Oh yeah, and he is definitely on drugs. You can always tell the druggies in Hollywood by those Ray-Ban’s they wear that are unflattering to every single face shape. You have to be high to think they look good.

Yeah, it’s the Ray-Bans that give him away. It certainly isn’t the whole writing phrases backwards on his fingers thing. Nor could it be the “I haven’t showered in 3 weeks” look he’s sporting. Sad to say, but he’s really starting to look like Heath Ledger. I would hate to see the world lose another tremendous talent to this crap.

Drugs are a personal experience that some hard-headed people need in order to learn some very important life lessons, ie: Humility. The fact of one’s own mortality. REALLY learning about other humans. And finally after degradation and loss and sickness and sorrow, to choose LIFE and go on with what you’ve learned. So, do what you will Joaquin, we’ll see who you are and so will you.