Jake Wozniak - EverythingEverything pertaining to JakeWozniak.comhttp://pipes.yahoo.com/pipes/pipe.info?_id=9f81213e40967b3c60539628f7ced1b2
Thu, 01 Oct 2015 17:54:02 +0000http://pipes.yahoo.com/pipes/Whuddup?http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986801073/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986801073/" title="Whuddup?"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8597/15986801073_a94a002cc2_m.jpg" width="180" height="240" alt="Whuddup?"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15986801073Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:55:24 +0000Pottawatomihttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16580582416/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16580582416/" title="Pottawatomi"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8602/16580582416_91dceeab1a_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="Pottawatomi"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16580582416Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:55:01 +0000Nappin'http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15984380124/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15984380124/" title="Nappin'"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8571/15984380124_53bfffc1c2_m.jpg" width="240" height="240" alt="Nappin'"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15984380124Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:54:26 +0000Tankershttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16419353408/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16419353408/" title="Tankers"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8619/16419353408_c255383339_m.jpg" width="180" height="240" alt="Tankers"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16419353408Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:54:01 +0000Aaarghttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16420711779/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16420711779/" title="Aaarg"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8680/16420711779_b530f4377f_m.jpg" width="180" height="240" alt="Aaarg"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16420711779Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:52:49 +0000Molldohttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16399253467/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16399253467/" title="Molldo"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8607/16399253467_e455853797_m.jpg" width="230" height="240" alt="Molldo"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16399253467Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:52:37 +0000Chillaxin'http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16420705909/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16420705909/" title="Chillaxin'"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8664/16420705909_bed7f1dbd4_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="Chillaxin'"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16420705909Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:52:01 +0000Studieshttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986764933/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986764933/" title="Studies"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8620/15986764933_5ec1c1e1fb_m.jpg" width="240" height="240" alt="Studies"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15986764933Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:50:29 +0000Decorating Cookieshttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15984350804/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15984350804/" title="Decorating Cookies"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8616/15984350804_8a8046ec0e_m.jpg" width="240" height="240" alt="Decorating Cookies"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15984350804Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:50:27 +0000Christmas 2014http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16399236307/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16399236307/" title="Christmas 2014"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8567/16399236307_5ff6d3b2d1_m.jpg" width="240" height="240" alt="Christmas 2014"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16399236307Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:50:19 +0000Carrouselhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986730063/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986730063/" title="Carrousel"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8609/15986730063_b8923a460a_m.jpg" width="240" height="229" alt="Carrousel"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15986730063Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:45:45 +0000Sammuraihttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986722543/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986722543/" title="Sammurai"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8598/15986722543_6b4876a84b_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="Sammurai"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15986722543Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:44:40 +0000Moll, Dad, and Tankhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986722283/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986722283/" title="Moll, Dad, and Tank"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8568/15986722283_7bd669bda2_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="Moll, Dad, and Tank"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15986722283Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:44:38 +0000Suspicioushttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986719763/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15986719763/" title="Suspicious"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8649/15986719763_652b88f9a6_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="Suspicious"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15986719763Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:44:17 +0000Trying To Be Cutehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15984291694/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/15984291694/" title="Trying To Be Cute"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8613/15984291694_86a7017634_m.jpg" width="240" height="214" alt="Trying To Be Cute"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/15984291694Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:42:24 +0000What's That?http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16605842812/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16605842812/" title="What's That?"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8624/16605842812_c306a32908_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="What's That?"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16605842812Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:42:03 +0000Pickin' Treeshttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16580480566/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16580480566/" title="Pickin' Trees"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8628/16580480566_cb476a29a6_m.jpg" width="240" height="240" alt="Pickin' Trees"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16580480566Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:41:15 +0000Check It Outhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16605832942/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16605832942/" title="Check It Out"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8683/16605832942_5c562b1acb_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="Check It Out"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16605832942Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:40:39 +0000Wagon Buddieshttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16606445145/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16606445145/" title="Wagon Buddies"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8603/16606445145_4bf7c1e869_m.jpg" width="180" height="240" alt="Wagon Buddies"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16606445145Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:38:56 +0000Cowgirlhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16419372220/
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/people/21498134@N05/">Jake Wozniak</a> posted a photo:</p>
<p><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/21498134@N05/16419372220/" title="Cowgirl"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8674/16419372220_17d511444a_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="Cowgirl"/></a></p>Jake Wozniaktag:flickr.com,2005:/photo/16419372220Sun, 22 Feb 2015 00:31:35 +0000MILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Crayondleshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=5&year=2014
So, birthday candles are sticks of wax that are pretty much useless after they burned for a few seconds. They've served their purpose, so you just throw them out. How about instead of making the wick go the entirety of the candle, just make it long enough to burn for a few seconds. After the candle melts down to the end of that short wick, you've got yourself a crayon.http://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=5&year=2014Wed, 20 Aug 2014 00:00:00 +0000Million Dollar IdeasMILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Grampoohttp://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=4&year=2014
It's just regular shampoo marketed towards old people. The print on the label is very large.http://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=4&year=2014Mon, 14 Jul 2014 00:00:00 +0000Million Dollar IdeasRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=9&year=2014
I assume that the workers at the raisin factory experience frequent static shocks while on the job. Lots of metal equipment I recon, and the air has got to be exceptionally dry.http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=9&year=2014Mon, 14 Jul 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=8&year=2014
The Summer Olympics are fun to watch, but are a few too many games. I suggest they combine a few. I think the race where they are jumping hurdles would be fun if the hurdles got progressively taller as the race went on. Also, this is a relay race, but instead of a baton being passed, they are poles, which also get progressively longer every time they are passed. So much so, that they can eventually be used to vault over those tall hurdles. At the end of the race you then chuck the pole as far as you can.http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=8&year=2014Wed, 11 Jun 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=7&year=2014
I have two theories about why they settled on the name "denture cream". First is because "false teeth glue" sounds too harsh. Second is because "toothpaste" was already taken.http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=7&year=2014Wed, 04 Jun 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsMILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Flip-Flopshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=3&year=2014
My answer to overpriced Sandals Resorts would be a less costly version for us thrifty people in need of a vacation. It will be called Flip-Flops. It's all-inclusive, but the majority of the meals will be frozen pizzas. There isn't a pool, but the flippin' ocean is RIGHT THERE. How much water do you need?http://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=3&year=2014Sun, 01 Jun 2014 00:00:00 +0000Million Dollar IdeasNEWS: Training Wheelshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=4&year=2014
Well, I am now teaching Sam to ride her bike sans training wheels. She can get about two peddles into it before she falls, but she is getting better. More importantly, she is not getting discouraged, or scared about the inevitability of the fall. Those two mental accomplishments, to me, eclipse the progress of her peddling.http://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=4&year=2014Tue, 13 May 2014 00:00:00 +0000NewsNEWS: Where you been Jake?http://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=3&year=2014
Been kind of busy the last month or two. In a nutshell, here is what has been going on. First, I pursued and ultimately backed out of purchasing of a bar in downtown Niles. Second, I got a new job. Third, Sam is about to graduate preschool. Fourth, Molly is talking a bit and sleeping better. Fifth, my grandma joined my grandpa in heaven. Sixth, Tank got fat. He's like 140 pounds now (still a good boy). Sixth, I'm finishing up writing my second book, Billion Dollar Ideas. I'll write more about each of these over the next few days. This was kind of vague. I just needed to take a first step back into writing, so stay tuned.http://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=3&year=2014Tue, 13 May 2014 00:00:00 +0000NewsNEWS: Accomplishmentshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=2&year=2014
Sam and I went to open swim at the YMCA so she could practice. She can now swim without help, go underwater and touch the bottom of the pool without holding her nose. Molly is starting to talk and put together her first thee-syllable word this weekend. She was calling to our friend "Jessica".http://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=2&year=2014Sun, 06 Apr 2014 00:00:00 +0000NewsRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=6&year=2014
If your horse has an afro, it's going to be hard to see and steer. You'll probably get in a lot of accidents. Thank goodness that thing also doubles as an airbag.http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=6&year=2014Fri, 21 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=5&year=2014
One of the best jobs you could hope to land would be quality assurance at the plastic snowflake ornament factory. If your products are all uniformed, then you are doing a great job, but if a batch gets screwed up, you could just claim that they are beautiful and unique.http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=5&year=2014Fri, 21 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsMILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Chew Toyshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=2&year=2014
They should make children's toys out of rawhide. That way your dog can take an active role in convincing your kids to pick up their toys.http://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=2&year=2014Fri, 21 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000Million Dollar IdeasRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=4&year=2014
Back in the days before Noah and the flood, when people lived for like 800 years, the antique market probably sucked. 200 year-old antiquities were not as impressive as today. "Yeah, that lamp is really cool Methuselah, but I don't need any of your junk."http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=4&year=2014Wed, 19 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsMILLION DOLLAR IDEA: Fibbing Mirrorshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=1&year=2014
This is for people who need some extra motivation on losing weight. We'll make our mirrors slightly with a slight convex to give the illusion that the viewer is a little wider than they actually are. It is the equivalency of setting your clocks 10 minutes fast to keep you from being late for things.http://www.jakewozniak.com/ideas/detail.php?id=1&year=2014Sat, 15 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000Million Dollar IdeasNEWS: The Couchhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=1&year=2014
It is getting to be a bit gross. The dog has begun sleeping on it nightly. Samantha has been taking the cushions off to make pillow piles in which she can jump into. Molly is spilling juice on it. We'll need to get a new set pretty soon. I told Jen that I'm getting a recliner, but I know that it will mean falling asleep prematurely on a regular basis. The old set up will be missed. It's gotten a lot of mileage over the last 5 years.http://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=1&year=2014Sat, 15 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000NewsRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=3&year=2014
The original creator of the donut was blessed with the gift of foresite. He knew that once the technology was no longer prohibitive, that people would begin filling the donuts with jams and custards. That's why he created the original donut to be hollow in the center. It is a visual cue that there should be no fillings expected.http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=3&year=2014Wed, 05 Feb 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=2&year=2014
The ultimate self-adjusting exercise equipment is and has always been the Hula Hoop. Skinny people don't have to exert themselves too much to use it since their gyrations can be slow and relaxed. Inversely, people with large waistlines have to swivel really fast to replicate that same inertia needed to keep the hoop in rotation.http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=2&year=2014Tue, 14 Jan 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsRANDOM THOUGHT:http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=1&year=2014
Envelope makers have a thin line they need to balance. If they make the adhesive taste horrible, they will lose their repeat business. If it has no flavor, people will be confused. If the envelopes taste like bubblegum or chocolate, they will seem unprofessional. Right now, I think everyone uses the same flavor, so that must be the correct one. It is the sensible flavor of Tolerably-Tasting Professionalism. If it doesn't already have a proper name, it should be TTP.http://www.jakewozniak.com/thoughts/detail.php?id=1&year=2014Tue, 14 Jan 2014 00:00:00 +0000Random ThoughtsBertrand Bible Churchhttp://www.bertrandbiblechurch.com/
I built this site for my church. I added a little home-made CMS and attached a Wordpress blog. Is fully responsive and light-weight.http://delicious.com/url/3073e1eaf009b924b1b49a60cfaa30cd#jakewozniakFri, 08 Nov 2013 17:50:13 +0000Alan Fore: Designustratorhttp://www.alanfore.com/
A friend and colleague of mine based out of Buchanan. He does amazing illustrations, logos, and page layouts.http://delicious.com/url/b27edb6d0428db3dff5656ca7c444fc2#jakewozniakTue, 26 Mar 2013 01:18:38 +0000Let's Talk About...http://letstalkaboutlauren.blogspot.com/
My friend Lauren's blog. She's a designer who lives in Chicago, is super-smart and has a lot of interesting stuff to write about.http://delicious.com/url/9290d4b8ab8b50e1a4bb7e01f1188c80#jakewozniakThu, 07 Feb 2013 03:57:18 +0000Photography by Kelly and Justinhttp://www.bykellyandjustin.com/
These two know their photos. Amazing work, awesome studio, and good friends.http://delicious.com/url/fe206f40ab0ebb58f43d975834a620d6#jakewozniakThu, 07 Feb 2013 02:36:04 +0000Kelly Kiefer's Photo Pagehttp://www.picturesocial.com/profile/Kelly
Crazy talented, Kelly has shot some really cool photos. Go check out some of her work.http://delicious.com/url/e07ac2c91d7a490d42e235b893bc1b03#jakewozniakThu, 07 Feb 2013 02:35:54 +0000Fine! Bead That Way!http://beadthatway.blogspot.com/
My friend Summer's blog. She is a talented artist and a super-cool chick.http://delicious.com/url/b1b79622ebf3b6defff76f2f5814538e#jakewozniakThu, 07 Feb 2013 02:34:32 +0000The Baby Tigerhttp://www.thebabytiger.com/
My friend Dave's business. Really cool kid's toys at reasonable prices. Go spend all of your money here.http://delicious.com/url/513c4f31a74537194e3587c240c4ba94#jakewozniakThu, 07 Feb 2013 02:34:17 +0000JakeWozniak.comhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/
My website. It's dope.http://delicious.com/url/92f25b626056d8ae935d2e9cac651c69#jakewozniakThu, 07 Feb 2013 02:34:04 +0000Bolinger Consulting Associateshttp://www.bolingerconsulting.com/
Specializing in Strategic Services. The Bolingers are good friends of mine. I've done various work for them over the years.http://delicious.com/url/cda070b2a21a3f2e7bad7eac80473026#jakewozniakThu, 07 Feb 2013 01:57:56 +0000Batman Vs. Spidermanhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=45
Batman Vs. Spidermanhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=31Thu, 07 Apr 2011 00:00:00 +0000

My good friend Shaun Pope and I were debating which was the worst superhero movie ever. I thought it was Batman & Robin. Pope thought it was Spiderman 3. After we could reach a consensus, we decided we would measure it scientifically.

We took an evening to watch them both. With pen and paper in-hand, we counted how many cool things each movie had (E.g. Flying surfboards), as well as all the dumb things (E.g. Robin's rubber lips). My buddy Ryan Skinner also sat in, but didn’t actively take part of the study.

After nearly four hours of bad movie footage, we got the following results:

Spiderman 3

Batman & Robin

Jake

37 Cool - 29 Dumb =

8 Cool

38 Cool - 41 Dumb =

3 Dumb

Shaun

31 Cool - 34 Dumb =

3 Dumb

60 Cool - 53 Dumb =

7 Cool

5 Cool

4 Cool

They are both really dumb movies, but Batman & Robin is just a little dumber.

I've been neglecting the website for a month or two, not writing a lot, because I've been re-writing a lot. My book, "Million Dollar Ideas" is now finished. The paperback and ebook are currently available at lulu.com.

The ebook should show up in the ibook store in a few days. The paperback will be available at Ebay and Amazon in a few weeks. Eventually it will be available to order at Barnes and Noble and a few others. Hope you like it.

]]>JunkQUOTE: Robert J. Sawyerhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=48
Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=29Tue, 08 Mar 2011 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Georges Rouaulthttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=47
Anyone can revolt. It is more difficult silently to obey our own inner promptings, and to spend our lives finding sincere and fitting means of expression for our temperament and our gifts.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=28Thu, 03 Mar 2011 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Henry David Thoreauhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=46
Every man has to learn the points of compass again as often as be awakes, whether from sleep or any abstraction. Not till we are lost, in other words not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves, and realize where we are and the infinite extent of our relations.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=27Wed, 26 Jan 2011 00:00:00 +0000JunkJeannie Paske's Obsolete Worldhttp://www.obsoleteworld.com/
Wow. Really amazing art from Jeannie Paske, a really talented artist working out of Portland.http://delicious.com/url/0e9383d4dc10790fc6ce2c7db34dcada#jakewozniakThu, 20 Jan 2011 13:22:02 +0000QUOTE: Chuck Klostermanhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=45
If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Oh sure, it seems obvious now, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't think of it when it's relevant. Seriously, just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=26Wed, 05 Jan 2011 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Hugh Macleodhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=44
Good ideas alter the power balance in relationships, that is why good ideas are always initially resisted. Good ideas come with a heavy burden. Which is why so few people have them. So few people can handle it.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=25Mon, 06 Dec 2010 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Gustave Flauberhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=42
Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=24Mon, 15 Nov 2010 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Mark Twainhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=43
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=23Mon, 15 Nov 2010 00:00:00 +0000JunkFrench Paperhttp://www.frenchsampleroom.com/french_paper_sample_room/
Such a cool company located right in my neighborhood in Niles, Michigan.http://delicious.com/url/455efd8c33b2bce5942106f284982ae4#jakewozniakThu, 17 Jun 2010 14:48:57 +0000Conspiracy Theoryhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=40
Conspiracy Theoryhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=22Mon, 07 Jun 2010 00:00:00 +0000Meat is by far the most heavily federally subsidized branch of the food in the U.S. Protein makes you aggressive. Like Dennis Leary says, "You will eat the meat folks, because this country was founded on two things. Meat, and war. You eat enough @#* meat, you wanna kill somebody."

Why do we need more aggression? Two reasons. First, it is to counteract our increased wussiness. Tom Brokaw and his greatest generation were tough. Teenage boys now have tight pants, long pampered air and pink shirts (no offense), but we equalize it by offering double-cheeseburgers for $.99. Yeah, kids today aren't going to throw down fisticuffs, but they won't blink if they accidentally kill you by running you over in their Miata (no offense). Second, by keeping us all aggressive, crime increases, which is good for business. The police department keeps hiring and we are selling more guns and security systems. The fear keeps us glued to the nightly "news" which means more eyes on the advertising streams of commercial breaks.

Keeping us knee deep in meat and 24-hour "news" outlets have kept us plenty aggressive. However, all those cheeseburgers and T.V. watching turned us into a bunch of chunkers, too fat to serve in the military.

The plan backfired. So what does this all mean? U.S. subsidies of the meat industry will begin to fall as we look for the next big protein source. My guess. Peanuts. Lower fat, but still high in protein. If you are looking to diversify your stock portfolio, I would suggest investing in Planters.

]]>JunkQUOTE: Chuck Palahniukhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=38
When you understand that what you're telling is just a story. It isn't happening anymore. When you realize the story you're telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past in the trashcan, then we'll figure out who you're going to be.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=21Fri, 23 Apr 2010 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Reinhold Niebuhrhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=36
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=20Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000JunkTruck Facehttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=33
Truck Facehttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=19Tue, 30 Mar 2010 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday, I was driving home from work and I found myself having a staring contest with the back of a Mac truck. It was hypnotizing how much it looked like a giant robot face.

Dice and saute garlic in a small sauce pan with a little olive oil. In a larger page saute the chopped bell peppers, habanero pepper, onion. Add salt and pepper to that mix. In another pan, brown the hamburger and sausage. Drain the meat, and throw all that stuff to the crock pot. Drain the beans and diced tomatoes and add them along with the remainder of ingredients to the crock pot. Heat on medium for about six hours and BOOM, that chile is dynamite!

]]>JunkQUOTE: Robert Servicehttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=29
Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=16Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:00:00 +0000JunkThe Oatmealhttp://theoatmeal.com/
This is the funny website in the history of the internet. Bar-none.http://delicious.com/url/e483101d96c5903c9ee5bbd3e73ad0a0#jakewozniakFri, 15 Jan 2010 13:51:30 +0000In Clayhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=28
In Clayhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=15Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:00:00 +0000

My friend Robin gave me a really cool Christmas present this year. She took a character from one of my drawings and recreated it in clay. She made the robot from my drawing, My Rust and Worries I've Left Behind. It turned out really cool and was such a kind gesture.

]]>JunkConspiracy Theoryhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=27
Conspiracy Theoryhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=14Thu, 31 Dec 2009 00:00:00 +0000Nobody ever really wins the lottery. What they do is offer someone a couple thousand dollars instead of a couple million dollars to pretend like they won millions. They also pay cable networks like VH1 to run shows about how the lottery winnings ruin people's lives just in case the participants of this lie threaten to take it to the press. This way the lottery people can kill these potential threats off and make it look like suicide if they need to.]]>JunkMargaret Michael's / Jake Wozniak Collabohttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=26
Margaret Michael's / Jake Wozniak Collabohttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=13Sat, 26 Dec 2009 00:00:00 +0000

My mom is an amazing artist. She took a few of the drawings I made when I was youngster and was able to recreate them in thread. She quilted and stitched this blanket for Samantha.

]]>JunkWNYC - Radiolabhttp://www.wnyc.org/shows/radiolab/
Subscribe to this podcast. It is fascinating and it will make you smarter.http://delicious.com/url/73841797429308b45e3ed7d915d7b678#jakewozniakWed, 02 Dec 2009 13:24:58 +0000QUOTE: Jack Londonhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=25
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=12Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:00 +0000JunkHomemade Pacman Cerealhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=24
Homemade Pacman Cerealhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=11Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:00:00 +0000They stopped making Pacman cereal back in '83. However, if you want a good substitute, I recently dreamed up this recipe. I haven't tried it yet, but it sounds delicious.

For the "pac-dots", start with a bowl of "Rice Crispies"

For the multi-colored "ghosts", add the ghost marshmallows from "Count Chocula", "Boo Berry", and "Frankenberry" cereals

For the "power-pellets", add a handful of "Kix"

For the "bonus fruit" add some "Trix"

For "Pacman" himself, you will need to get a box of "Alphabets" and pick out all the C's and U's.

I don't know the correct ratio of ingredients to make this good, so good luck in your efforts.

]]>JunkQUOTE: Seth Godinhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=23
Big ideas are little ideas that no one killed too soon.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=10Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Peter Griffinhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=21
I've got an idea...an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I'm talking about.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=9Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:00:00 +0000JunkPotential Band Nameshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=17
Potential Band Nameshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=8Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:00:00 +0000I am not musically inclined. I have no intention of starting a band.However, it can't hurt to be prepared, so here is my running list:

Uncle Flogurt

Spaghetti Rage

Electric Snuggies

Milk and Gasoline

Ultrasound

In Utero Hamster Wheels

Chauncey and the Astronauts

]]>JunkQUOTE: Hunter S. Thompsonhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=20
I understand that fear is my friend, but not always. Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=7Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000JunkBlurburger - Pete Joisenhttp://www.blurburger.com/
Pete Joisen is also a favorite artist of mine. He uses several different drawing techniques and has a knack for making simple drawings come alive with broad strokes and colors.http://delicious.com/url/240a85d73a31d86e9acd94a73e27ff7d#jakewozniakFri, 28 Aug 2009 12:16:54 +0000Just A Normal Day (A Story fpr Burglars)http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=14
Just A Normal Day (A Story fpr Burglars)http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=6Fri, 28 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000This morning I sprung up out of sleep when I heard a squirrel sneeze from three blocks away. I woke up kind of cranky. I don't sleep well because the gun under my pillow isn't very comfortable. I fished around for my spiky kicking loafers and found them over by my vicious 100-pound dog.

I moved to the bathroom, swinging my deadly fists around while walking as I typically do and ninja-kicked-in the door. I took my usual extra cold shower to fuel my rage and dried off with my choking cloth (aka towel).

Back in the bedroom, I opened the closet (not the booby trapped one, but the one that contains my cloths and swords). My black belt was looking kind of worn out. I guess its kind of old. I earned it at age four.

After walking down my irregularly angled staircase, which is really easy to fall down, I sat down with my super-hot coffee, which I've been known to sometime throw at random. I flipped on my incredibly old TV, which isn't worth anything. On the news, I saw that their was a robbery on the opposite side of town (the side that's really easy to rob), and I laughed.

When I was finished polishing my ninja stars and inspecting my surveillance cameras, I must have been a little tired still, because I almost walked right onto one of the house's several trap doors.

After breakfast, it was time for work, so I locked up my impenetrable fortress of a house and headed to my car. I blindly sped out of my driveway and almost hit one of the many police cars, which patrol my street. "Sorry officer Hairtrigger" I shouted. Halfway to work, I thought; did I forget to set lock number 63? I'll check when I come home at random during the day. I drove to work in silence as I always do since my car includes no stereo or other fancy expensive gizmos.

When I was done with work and combat training, I drove back home in silence as I always do since my car includes no stereo or other fancy expensive gizmos. I blindly sped into my driveway, and kicked in the front door, pistol drawn. I unlocked my refrigerator and prepared a nice dinner. I polished my guns, put one under my pillow, and went to sleep (with one eye open).

]]>JunkQUOTE: Jesus Christhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=19
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=5Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000JunkTerry 2012http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=7
Terry 2012http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=4Sat, 15 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000Thousands of years ago, at the height of the Mayan empire, there lived a young man by the name of Terri. He wasn't smart, skillful, or athletic. He didn't have many friends or hobbies. He didn't even have many interests, save one: sideways-basketball.

Sideways-basketball was the sport of the land. People would flock to the Great Ball Court of Chichen Itza from miles away to see these amazing games. The whole point of the game was to basically run around with a rubber ball and shoot it through a series of vertical hoops protruding from the court walls. The winner received the ultimate prize...to be killed. His soul would then be free to transcend to the heavens to join the gods. His body would then be thrown into the Well of Souls.

Sideways-basketball was Terri's favorite thing. He was known in his community as the sport's number one fan. He would always be the first one to the court, hours in advance, so that he could sit front and center.

As Terri got older, his parents grew concerned that he would never leave home. All he ever did was to go to the games. When he wasn't watching the games, he was talking about them.

"Terri" his father said. "Your mother and I love you, but we think it is time you get a job so you can save up and move out. It's about time for you to start taking care of yourself."

"But dad" Terri replied. "I'm not good at anything".

"My old roommate Bill tells me that the city has a position available. They are looking for a calendar maker."

"Ok, I guess"

Terri started work the following week. However, his new boss noticed that Terri was falling behind in his work. He asked around. "What has Terri been doing? Why is he not turning in his work?"

The story he got from everyone was that Terri would not shut up about sideways-basketball. He wasn't focusing on the calendar because he was constantly daydreaming about the sport.

Terri's boss decided to give him a pep talk.

"Terri," he said. "Who is your favorite sideways-basketball player?"

"I don't know," replied Terri. "All the good ones end up dead."

"Well, I want you to pretend you are a sideways-basketball player. In preparation for the big game, you have to turn out the best calendar ever."

As dumb as a concept that thought was, it seemed to work for Terri. He worked night and day at the calendar and what he ended up with was a work of art. But what now? There was no more work to be done now that this year's calendar was finished. Terri's boss told him to go ahead and start next year's calendar.

Years and years passed. Terri loved his job, but still loved sideways-basketball even more. When he wasn't making calendars, he was at the games. The strange thing was that the quality of the games kept going downhill. What used to be a fifteen-minute match, now took upwards of an hour to complete. Also, there seemed to be less and less people at the games.

The problem was that they were killing off all the best sideways-basketball players. The people playing now weren't super-athletes, but average Joes picked off the street. As years went on the games got longer and more boring. The population was also steadily declining.

One day, Terri got to the game bright and early, the first at the ball court as usual. When the time came for the match, nobody was there.

"Where is everyone?" Terri asked.

"They are all dead" said the voice of an unseen man behind him. Sideways-basketball claimed the lives of everyone, except you and I. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Roger."

"Well Roger, do you want to play some sideways-basketball?"

"Yeah, sure."

The game began. Terri was living his dream. He was in the ball court playing the game he had loved watching his whole life. The thing was, neither Terri nor Roger were any good. The game lasted literally weeks. Tempers began to flare between the two.

"Hey!" yelled Roger, "Is Terri short for terrible, because that's what you are!"

"Shut up Roger, I don't see you scoring either!"

Weeks turned to months. Months turned to years. At the tender age of 93, Terri finally did it. He made a shot and won the game.

Just them, Roger grabbed his chest, fell to the ground, and died of a heart attack. Suddenly Terri was completely alone. He was now the last of the Mayans. What would he do? The only thing he knew how to do...continue his calendars.

Years passed by as Terri feverishly added more and more years to his calendars. 2008, 2009, 2010. He could barely carve them anymore as his arthritis was killing him and he was running out of steam. 2010, 2011, 2012, and then it happened. Right before Terri started on the year 2013, Terri had died. The last of the Mayans and greatest calendar maker was gone.

I wrote this story because a lot of people see the ending of the Mayan calendar as some sort of doomsday prophesy, instead of the truth. Terri, the man, the legend, had to stop at some point. Though his calendars are now gone, his legend continues.

To this day, if you are in the Yucatan Peninsula, and travel to Chichen Itza, ask one of the locals to tell you the story of Terri, the last Mayan. They will look at you thoughtfully and say something inspirational like "Que?" They will then try to sell you a replica Mayan calendar for fifty pesos. If you don't have it, they will take forty, not because of desperation, but of pride. They just want to share the legend of Terri with the world.

]]>JunkQUOTE: Homer Simpsonhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=8
I've got three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?!http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=2Sat, 15 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Chris McCandlesshttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=5
Happiness is only real when sharedhttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=1Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000JunkQUOTE: Thomas Wolfehttp://www.jakewozniak.com/other/index.php.php?id=1
You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity.http://www.jakewozniak.com/other/detail.php?id=0Fri, 07 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000Junkthe Creatures in my Head (Andrew Bell)http://www.creaturesinmyhead.com/
This guy sets the bar pretty stinkin' high. Amazing artwork, I'm just blown away with what Andrew Bell's creativity.http://delicious.com/url/c7b8c3434b2e02b71080d745792cff4e#jakewozniakThu, 23 Jul 2009 19:07:14 +0000NEWS: Found ithttp://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=6&year=2014
My wedding band had been missing for about two weeks. Normally if I lose it, its only for a day at worst. I kept thinking it would just show up like it always does, but it didn't. Every day my memory of where it might be, being able to retrace my steps got harder and harder. Finally I decided that every night, I would take a room in the house and look literally everywhere. In shoes, under the stove, in the refrigerator, etc. I had just finished checking every square inch of Molly's room including her toy box, and was walking down the upstairs hallway, when I spotted a toy I hadn't checked yet. It was a Barbie car. I picked it up, gave it a shake, and out pops my ring.http://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=6&year=2014NewsNEWS: Copycathttp://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=5&year=2014
Molly wants to be just like Samantha. She is watching everything her big sister is doing. Some is good, and some is bad. The bad thing is the attitude. Molly's favorite new word is "no". The good stuff includes Molly not wanting help. She shoos off attempts to assist her, which is great. She also is practicing tee ball; Setting up the ball, grabbing a bat and hitting it, just like her big sister. Not bad for a one-year-old.http://www.jakewozniak.com/blog/detail.php?id=5&year=2014News