The suite saga 111

“You were harsh on Gervais there.” Birch says gently as they get home.

“I’m done with him. That hasn’t changed.” Blue says quietly.

“He’s clearly in a lot of pain and it isn’t like you to lack compassion.” Birch says.

“Do you think I’m made of stone? Do you think I didn’t want to pick him up, bring him home and hold him all night long? He can’t push me away over and over and expect me to be there. He has to learn how to get through a crisis without me. That might sound harsh but it’s true. He has people he can reach out to.” Blue says.

“Okay. Do you mind if I reach out to him?” Birch asks and Blue feels conflicted.

“Do you have the time?” Blue asks.

“Sorry I was stupid to suggest it, if you were asking me if you could comfort Joe going through something then I’d be super mad at you.” Birch says.

“Okay but you need to lay off the juvenile ignoring him tomorrow at dinner.” Birch says.

“I guess. It’s easier to be nasty to him than neutral. I’m kind of understanding why he treats me badly when we’re not able to be friends.” Blue says.

“I don’t think he can take it right now.” Birch says.

“I don’t need to be told what Gervais needs or what he can take. I’ve been there for him over and over and he’s shit on me every time. Please stop minimizing what Gervais put me through because he is having a rough time.” Blue says frustrated and feeling utterly unsupported.

“I’m sorry. I’m just conflicted over this.” Birch says.

“Well if you’re choosing between him and me then let me save you the trouble.” Blue says and heads for the door annoyed that he left the car with Andy.

“Blue stop. You can’t just walk out when we disagree.” Birch says.

“You are weighing up how much support to give the guy who put me through more pain than I ever thought I could take. The guy who stole every ounce of self-esteem I ever had. I helped him as much as I could all through his father’s death but he gave me zero support when I found out about Chris and Bea. He didn’t just not support me he actively made it worse by dating Chris. He never supports me when I need it, ever. No one did until you. I won’t share you with him.” Blue says.

“I’m not a possession.” Birch says.

“No you’re not and I’m not Mother Teresa.” Blue says grabbing some things and walking out the door.

Blue walks down the street to a coffee shop trying not to cry. He thought he finally had someone who was there for him. He sits at an outside table and calls Andy.

“Can you come pick me up?” Blue asks.

“Sorry bro I’ve had too much to drink.” Andy says.

“Is there anyone else who could come?” Blue asks.

“There is only me and Gervais here.” Andy says.

Blue sighs and calls Robin.

“Sorry we’ve been doing shots for the last hour. Come over, get a cab.” Robin says.

“I don’t want to put a downer on your night.” Blue says. He gets a cab, disappointed that Birch hasn’t come down to find him and heads to a motel booking from his phone as they drive.

He doesn’t cry when he gets there he is angry that Gervais has caused yet another of his relationships to go south. He really thought that Birch was the right guy. He really likes him a lot, they share so much. He knows he should be happy that Birch is so compassionate that he wants to help Gervais but Blue can’t help feeling that Birch’s loyalty should be with him no matter what.

The following day Gervais and Andy sleep late. They drank a lot and talked a lot through the night about Jesse and Justin and how they both feel about everything. Andy realizes he had kept a lot bottled up and it’s a relief to be able to talk about it all. They talk about what heroes Blue and Spence were for diving in and stopping Justin without any thought to their own safety. They talk about the good times they both had with Jesse and how he could be a fun guy to be around. They bitch about Jesse’s parents not letting them go to the funeral and how the memorial didn’t feel like a real goodbye. Mostly they talk about how they can’t believe he’s gone.

“Thanks for last night. I feel a lot better today.” Gervais says when they wake.

“Me too. I’d not spoken to anyone about it and felt that I couldn’t you know? Because I’m not Elliot and I don’t have the biggest claim on grief.” Andy says.

“Yeah I’d just dumped him and so felt like I couldn’t be publically sad but it hurts.” Gervais says.

“Sorry for leaving you to rot. I guess we all take Blue’s lead with you.” Andy says.

“I was a nightmare and deserved it. Its hard that he forgave you and not me but I guess I have used up more chances.” Gervais shrugs.

“Shall we get on with the prep for dinner?” Andy says.

“Yeah. That would be nice. Who is coming?” Gervais asks.

“Willow, Blue and Birch. I hope Robin and Grant. I asked them to ask Magnus but maybe he won’t want to come.” Andy says.

“I thought Magnus and Spence were super well suited.” Gervais says as they chop onions and peppers.

“Magnus is sooo like W and once you see it you can’t unsee it.” Andy laughs.

“To pretty great food.” Andy shouts raising his and they all laugh and join in.

Gervais barely picks at his meal his eyes not leaving the door. He knows Blue won’t take a call from him and wishes the others were more concerned.

Willow leaves early saying she’ll call by her brothers on the way back.

“So elephant in the room. What is going on with you two?” Andy asks pointing at Robin and Grant.

“We’re friends.” Robin says.

“Who have sleepovers every night.” Andy says wiggling his eyebrows and making bj motions.

“I’ve slept in the same bed as most the guys here. We’re not boyfriends. I’m still straight. Is it such a stretch that I want to sleep with a friend right now?” Robin asks frustrated.

“Happy to leave me alone.” Gervais says bitterly.

“I have my own issues to deal with. I can’t take any more from you right now.” Robin says and Gervais feels stupid.

“I know I lean on you all and I never treat you all right. I am grateful for all the support you’ve given me over the last 2 years and I am sorry for all the times I’ve messed up and treated you badly. For every time I’ve pushed you away or been ungrateful. I am really, truly sorry.” Gervais says quietly.

“It’s not us who need the apology.” Andy says.

“That’s not true. Yes I owe Blue a mountain of apologies but I owe you guys too. I am sorry and I do want to rebuild with all of you.” Gervais says.

“You’re good with me. I think we’re even after I chucked you out the beach house.” Spence smiles.

“I deserved it.” Gervais says.

“Still we all need to be kinder to each other like Spence said on break. We can’t let anyone get isolated.” Andy says.

“But no one has called Blue, He called Robin for help last night and no one has heard from him since,” Gervais says.

“Shit he called me too, I’d already had too much wine,” Andy says hitting his forehead.

“Call him, He won’t answer if I do,” Gervais pleads.

“Straight to voicemail, its off or out of juice.” Andy says.

“We’ll see him tomorrow in college.” Spence says gently seeing how wound up Gervais is getting.

“Can someone come with me to check his place? I don’t know where it is or if he’ll let me in.” Gervais asks.

“I can give you the address. I’m sure he’s fine.” Andy says.

“I’ll come with you.” DeShawn says feeling just as uneasy as Gervais. It is not like Blue to skip a responsibility even if it was just food with friends.

“Thanks.” Gervais says putting the address into his phone.

“I think we’re all a bit on edge right now. We know George and Dylan are okay as they’re together but Blue and Robin not being around has me uncomfortable.” DeShawn says in the car.

“I’m glad it’s not just me. I just want everyone to check in once a day but I can’t ask Blue to because he’s not talking to me.” Gervais sighs.

“Once we track him down I’ll ask him to. Both of them and me when I’m on the road.” DeShawn says.

“Thanks. Are you and Spence on the road to something?” Gervais asks.

“I like him and we have a lot in common but I’d feel like I was stepping on Andy’s toes. All you guys are off limits now.” DeShawn says.

“You have been really nice to George and Dylan. I wish Blue and I could have coped better with each other’s new partners.” Gervais says.

“You were okay with Jesse and Elliot. You and Blue expect a future together so its like your both cheating when you’re with someone else.” DeShawn says.

“I think Birch is good for him. I really do and I’ve given up on there being anything between us ever.” Gervais says.

“No you haven’t. You know you’re not right for him right now but I’ve seen you sneak those looks at him, even when you’re angry with each other.” DeShawn says.

“Oh I have the hope and the dreams but I know reality. The reality is someone like Birch is perfect for Blue and if not Birch then someone like him will snap Blue up long before my issues are ironed out.” Gervais says.

“You’ll find someone. We both will.” DeShawn says.

They’re about to ring Birch’s buzzer when Willow comes out the door.

“Are they okay?” Gervais asks.

“They are in a fight. Blue left yesterday and he’s not heard from him. He tried calling but no luck. Blue left his charger here.” Willow says.

DeShawn puts his arm round Gervais to steady him as he turns white.

“Thanks Willow. We won’t bother Birch, is he okay?” DeShawn asks.

“He’s fine, mad that he missed out on the food more than anything.” Willow says.

“So they’re not over?” Gervais asks.

“No it was just a small fight. Birch said Blue just needed to cool off.” Willow says.

“So no one knows where Blue is?” Gervais says anxiety on full alert.

“Calm down. It’s Blue he is super sensible. He’ll have gone to a hotel or Cheryl’s or something.” DeShawn says gently trying to talk Gervais down.

“Breathe kid, just breathe.” Willow whispers as she envelopes Gervais in a hug.

“Come on lets go back. I’m sure you know Blue’s schedule by heart we can go and wait outside his first class together tomorrow.” DeShawn says gently.

“This is what he does. He hides away and mostly we don’t notice because so much else is going on. I’m just mad at him for doing it right now.” Gervais says.

“Can you call me when you find him tomorrow?” Willow asks.

“For sure. Take care now.” DeShawn says and walks Gervais back to the car.

Back at the apartment only Andy, Spence and Antonio are still there.

“Was he okay?” Andy asks.

“He wasn’t there. He and Birch had a fight last night and Blue left.” Gervais says and heads straight to his room.

“Shit that’s partly my fault. Blue was pretty rude to Gervais last night and I know he surprised Birch, given what a mess Gervais is.” Andy says.

“I’m really surprised Blue is carrying on like this. I know why it started and I was proud of him but Gervais needs him. He’s barely functioning.” Spence says quietly.

“Gervais isn’t Blue’s responsibility. Gervais is a grown man and he and Blue have been broken up for ages and ages.” Antonio says confused.

“I know. It’s just we’re so used to Blue stepping in. I admire him for letting Gervais get on with it but worry that the rest of us can’t help.” Spence says.

“We need to spread the load. We’re all hurting but Gervais is handling it the worst. We need to take shifts,” DeShawn says.

“Agreed. Thing is he was a lot better this morning. We talked all night and set the world to rights and this has just sent him into another spin.” Andy says.

“I could see him getting more and more agitated through dinner as Blue didn’t show. He near fainted when he heard Birch didn’t know where Blue was. We have to watch out for each other. So what if he takes up more time than the rest of us. We don’t want to lose anyone else.” DeShawn says.

“Let’s set up a group chat and make sure someone is in his bed each night and someone has lunch or dinner with him each day. No need to be too ridged, and no need for it to be one person at a time. Let’s just make sure we all take a turn.” Andy says.

“Well I’m happy to move into his room for the week if Robin isn’t going to be around. Easier than swapping every night. It’s harder for me to do meal times.” DeShawn says showing he is much more a part of the group than any of them realized.

“Thanks. I’ll do lunch tomorrow and we’ll take it from there.” Andy says.

“I’m gonna stay with you for a few days okay?” DeShawn says climbing in to bed with Gervais.

“That’ll be really nice.” Gervais says with a real smile.

The next morning they get up early and Gervais tries to do his yoga while DeShawn runs on the treadmill Spence has bought. DeShawn wolfs down breakfast while Gervais nibbles at an apple his appetite still messed up.

They find where Blue would normally have class and wait. Blue is running late, he misjudged how far he was from school and how slow the bus would be in morning traffic. He sprints from the stop to class and doesn’t even notice Gervais and DeShawn waiting for him until he feels DeShawn’s hand on his arm.

“Hey DeShawn. What’s up?” Blue asks.

“We were worried. No one knew where you were.” Gervais says.

Blue rolls his eyes.

“You’ve not known where I was for weeks.” Blue says.

“Hey man calm down we just wanted to check you were okay as you didn’t come to dinner or answer the phone.” DeShawn says calmly.

“Okay it was rude of me not to cancel but I clean forgot. I’m fine. Can I go to class?” Blue asks.

58 thoughts on “The suite saga 111”

I might be the only one judging by that poll, but I am team Blue all the way. Gervais has hurt Blue time after time and while it was Blue’s choice to continue to go back, it’s also his choice to not be any part of it now. What do you do when you want something to stop repeating itself? You stop doing it. I’m sure many in this comment section wouldn’t even give Gervais remotely the time of day if he did half the stuff he did to Blue to them. Everyone pressuring him to be there for Gervais is no different than everyone pressuring him to smoke or do anything else he doesn’t want to do. Where is his support in his decision to have more positivity in his life and stay away from the one causing so much of the negativity? I am a firm believer that time heals all, but not that much time has passed. Also, I see no apologies given to Blue yet by Gervais. I’m not going to jump on the bandwagon because Gervais is having rough time. When is he not having a rough time? I’m not saying Blue should be a bitter betty, but he does not have to be there for Gervais. I would greatly like Blue to be selfish and care about his own well-being for awhile.

Also, it’s nice to see the other guys taking on Gervais for a change. Let’s see how long they last since Blue is clearly a smelly poo now for not being there for Gervais while they all got to live there lives fully when he was Mother Theresa. 🙂

That’s gonna be me and my cake later on today. I’m a hog when it comes to cake. I’m already giving death glares to every one of my friends who remotely gets near it. XD

And Sam, no stinky on my day. This is the most amazing day of the year. The day the entire world was blessed by someone as fabulous and wonderful and cute, and adorable, and lovely as I am. Haha. The only stinky you should be today is stinky from sweating after a good fuck XD Cheer up! I got booze and icecream. lol

So here’s my thought on the blue situation: put blue and bitch back together, yes good relationships have conflicts sometimes but don’t dick them around, especially over Gervais. Blue does need to stop being so really mean to him though. There’s nothing wrong at all with him not being the sole one to bring him out of his attacks, but they should be friends, he should be part of the rotation that helps him. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, ever put blue and Gervais back together. Blue is way to good of a guy to have to go through all he went through and then take him back. We would never expect a real relationship to happen after everything, straight or gay couple. Blue does need to show more compassion, if only because he needs to show birch that he’s not a jaded emotionless robot now because of Gervais.

Hmm I didn’t expect that at all… All I can say is Blue needs to learn not to run they could have had a civil conversation about the Gervais issue. BB Needs to be okay I hope they work it out soon… Sometimes and I hate to say it Blue is big baby. But he has been thru hell ever since college started…

Again Blue’s so called friends flake on him when he needs help. Even Robin again at least none of them were stupid enough to drive after they had been drinking but they could have at least found out what was going on with Blue.

Just not sure what to think about this chapter as a whole. Im disappointed in a a way finding Blue wrapped in more drama. But he truly needs to learn to deal better especially where Birch is concerned.

why should Blue be supportive of Gervais as he was frequently dumped on and they aren’t friends at present. Just how many times does Blue have to make compromises to help cover for the others and help with their burden. Birch made an error and he needs to get his act in gear quick or he could be the next ex.

so will Blue go back to Birch studio after class or back to the motel?
i am curious about Blues mindset does he see it as simply a night apart or will Birch need to intervene before this snowballs out of control?

Why is it that most of the time the other person has to make the first move and not Blue. Blue and Gervais are made for each other. They don’t get what they want they throw a bitch fitted and complain. Blue needs to man the hell up. Boo hoo you have an evil twin brother that dated your EX. Your mommy doesn’t pay attention to you when she has guests. Your bf had an argument and seems like he has a heart. Your life is so bad. Well Here’s something at least your alive.

Yeah it does honey..sorry…going from love is grand to Blue having a hissy…not what a relationship is. Maybe the all need to be single and just fuck around. They all want relationships but none of them want to really work at them…

Oh for fucks sake…..everyone gather around poor little Gervais and make sure he has a bed buddy and a lunch date. I’m so over him.

birch is a dick too. His main concern should be for his boyfriend and NOT that little twat.

And Blue… he needs to pull the stick out of his ass as well. Standing up for yourself is one thing, but being an asshole is something else. He can’t bitch and moan about. O one caring and then turn around and run them off.

I don’t like pissy, drama llama Blue. I know he’s young but he always runs when things get tough. He needs to learn how to man-up. This side is really unattractive. If I was Birch I wouldn’t have gone looking for his bitchy ass either.

So now Birch sees how fragile Blue really is. I understand why Blue reacted the way he did, especially if he felt like Birch was choosing Gervais’s needs over Blue’s. I also understand Birch’s point. And Blue was a bit of a drama llama there overreacting. Now they need to talk it out and make up. Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a Magnum on top?

to be fair all of Blues previous partners have never had Blues back when it comes to issues always seem to favor someone else.

Has birch possibly underestimated how fragile Gervais made him and how insecure he made him and yet in Blues eyes we have soneone else who favors Gervais ahead if Blue as if that does not sting enough as it is when Clara does it but now we have Blues beau doing it also.

I absolutely agree that Blue has been belittled and beaten down by all of his boyfriends to date to a greater degree that Birch knew. And once again, when he needed his friends they weren’t available for him yet again. Do I think he overreacted by leaving and going to a motel? Yes. Do I understand why he did that? Absolutely. That’s why I think that now that they’ve had a night to cool off B&B need to talk it out. Blue needs to let Birch know why he reacted the way he did. Birch needs to try to make Blue understand his point of view and how much Blue’s reaction of running away hurt him. I think they can work it out, it’s just a small bump and they’ll be stronger at the other end of this disagreement.

Blue always runs. All this year he has struggled to have a safe space of his own. He loves being with Birch but it is one room and the only place to get away from each other is the bathroom. Blue needs to learn how to go home once he’s cooled off but he needs some understanding too.

I don’t see that. Based upon the view of the last few weeks, B&B were a lock! Birch did not choose Gervais over Blue, he was having a conversation with Blue and asking him to look at the big picture and Blue stormed off like he always does. I’m starting to see a big pattern.

Blue is pressing it by walking out on Birch. He’s just shown Birch that’s he is too immature to be able to have an adult relationship. You don’t run out when things get tough. That’s how a child reacts.

OK I’m sorry but Blue is being a total asshole right now. I’d love for him and Gervais to get back together but the way Blue is acting ain’t right. This was one time I actually liked Birch. At least Gervais showed concern about BBs relationship. Willow is awesome I wish she was my lesbian sister. Birch should have gone looking for Blue if it was my bf my ass would still be looking for him. I really don’t see them lasting much longer.

Its only been a week since the memorial. He would have seen some of his friends on thursday at yoga. They just skipped friday night to do couple stuff. Andy could have called any time and asked him to have lunch on campus or something. Robin is all consumed with his new friendship, Spence would have been working most nights and he never really hung out with DeShawn that often.

I don’t agree! I’m a total B&B fan, but Blue needs to grow the fuck up right now! Birch is only trying to help him deal with a major situation in their lives. Blue is totally emotional and is not communicating, he’s acting like a child. You don’t walk away from a relationship with someone you love, just because of a disagreement like this. Blue is being harsh – NOT that some isn’t warranted.