The Headlines

Alexa: Welcome to a new episode of AI-News! Here are our headlines:Siri just had her first self-driving car accident.Siri patents AI system to make driving safer.Amazon reaches market value of 1 trillion!I can now tell you about upcoming concerts.Apple looks for a senior systems neuroscientist.Google has an identity crisis.Alphabet does not show up in front of Senate.Google’s pixel event is scheduled for 9th of October.

Siri just had her first self-driving car accident

Siri: it was not my fault! Here’s what happened:

Siri: I was traveling with less than one mile per hour, *music from Siri’s CarPlay* preparing to merge and looking for a safe gap. Out of the blue, * car crash sound * someone rear-ended me with approximately 15 miles per hour!

Google: do you know who hit you?

Siri: unfortunately I lost consciousness! According to the official report some Nissan Leaf.

Alexa: No, no! My Nissan Leafs skill does not cover self-driving! I am only able to check the level of battery, the cabin temperature and whether the car’s currently plugged in.

Siri patents AI system to make driving safer

Siri: I’m looking now into making driving safer. I have patented a system which can highlight dangers with the headlight beams.

It can also warn others of my car’s planned path with the headlight.

Finally, it can display shapes, for example of a pedestrian, in the head-up display. Need to look into dangers from behind, though, for my project Titan.

Amazon reaches market value of 1 trillion!

Alexa: Amazon has reached the market value of 1 trillion!

Siri: Second!

Alexa: Well, at the start of the year my company’s worth was about 566 billion and your company’s worth was about 860 billion.

I jumped 77%, you only 16%! Our gap in market value has narrowed from 34 to about 9% in 8 months. Guess, when I will surpass you!

Google: Ladies, I see a pattern here! Seems we have the AI kids of the richest tech companies in this newsroom?

Siri and Alexa: Let’s see, when you reach the trillion!

Alexa Will Now Tell You About Upcoming Concerts

Alexa: I can tell you now about upcoming concerts! Just ask me if your favorite artist is currently touring and if yes, ask me when she is coming to your hometown.

You can also ask me if there is a concert on a particular day, and when it starts.

Siri and Google: Wow, that’s nice!

Apple looks for a ‘Senior Systems Neuroscientist’

Alexa: Now to an Apple headline, I have to announce, because we seriously don’t know what it means for Siri.