Those few years make a hell of a difference. I'm 22, and most of my groupmates are turning 20 this year. You may have heard how well we're doing together, which is - not at all, for multiple reasons. The biggest of them is a vast difference in worldview between most of my year's students on the faculty. They're not taking their studies and future prospects seriously enough - and those are some of the most educated and thoughtful students of the university.

Technically these are all my own decisions, so it's all on me.

Have you decided not to eat to feel unwell, or was it lack of energy and mood that drove you towards it?

You're not as in control of what happens to you as you'd like to believe. Even the reaction to outside events has to come from some source of energy, and sometimes, we lack it. Don't be hard on yourself if you feel bad: you don't want to make it worse by blaming the victim.

I think it's natural to condescend those younger than us. I try my utmost not to. It's narcissistic to think you always know better. I try to correct for that by genuinely seeing people in as positive a way as possible--trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, for instance. But sometimes I just can't help but conclude that I'm surrounded by kids who are not just told what to want but how to want. Like there's not an original, nonconformist bone in their bodies, it's fucking Snapchats with dog filters, don't-talk-to-anyone-but-look-at-my-phone all the way to class, etc. etc.