Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Rules of Man-Etiquette

I have this co-worker, I work very closely with, who always has something stuck on his face. Either an eyelash, smudge, or often fuzz stuck in his eyebrows (where that comes from, I don’t know quite know..maybe he kills teddy bears at lunch). I’ve always wanted to say something because it’s a distraction and I would want to know if I were in the same position - but I usually don’t, I let him continue the conversation hoping he’ll eventually remove it during a bathroom visit, or wait for a woman co-worker to bring it up (the women at work tend to notice these things).

I’m not the only guy who does this- every guy he works with does the same thing. I’m not sure why that is that men don’t let each other know stuff like that. I mean, if a fellow guy's fly is down we always say something like “hey dude, the barn door is open” as a courtesy. But that's about the extent of it.

I wanted to experiment (for the sake of mankind). So last week while talking to him there was something sticking out of his nose and I just couldn’t concentrate (being a Dad with a little one I wanted to take a tissue and wipe the thing, but that's wierd and my Jedi mind power doesn't work very well) so I made a point to tell him “hey man, it’s not like “I’m looking”, but you’ve got something sticking out of your nose”. He got all hissy, and a little offensive as if I were talking about his mama or worse poking fun at his villages' women - then ran off.

Later I kept thinking to myself how he’s going to tell everybody I’m the guy who looks up people’s noses. Now I know why guys let it go... it’s not worth the hassle.

9 comments:

I think it's legit. I actually had the opposit extreme in high school there was a guy I hung out with who I couldn't run into the hallway without him asking me if: Is there anything in my nose? tilting his head back, Is my zipper down? posing full frontal for me to look or Dude, is my hair OK? and giving a Travolta head tilt to both sides.

I thought that was wierd . . .

but having the common decency to keep someone from further humiliating themselves seems more than humane.

I sometimes feel sorry for men with all their rules they follow. I suppose some women follow them too, but if I had something hanging from my nose, I would want to know from the first person that saw it not the hundreth, so I could go fix it. But then I would probably go and announce to everyone "hey did you know I had a huge thing hanging out of my nose" and then laugh about it so I guess I am not the person to ask. I would think it is common decency to help a person out and let them know when something isn't quite right though.

He should be able to handle this simple truth. It always bugs me when friends or acquaintances don't say anything. All of the suddent, I look in the mirror, and I have a giant piece of lettuce in my teeth. But I just hung out with someone I know and they didn't tell me!!! If a little snot (or whatever) gets your co-worker hissy, he needs to calm down. That's my take. I always like it when people let me know what I have hanging (so long as I know them).

I was surpised how many men here in Florida do not know what XYZ means. Every schoolchild in PA knew it meant "eXamine Your Zipper" which meant your fly was open. Trying to be discreet with my FL guys and saying XYZ resulted in just the opposite - an explanation of what XYZ meant which already drew more than sufficient attention to the problem at hand.

OMG! I'm rolling on the floor reading this. I can picture the whole scene in my mind as I was reading this. Maybe you should have said something like "hey, dude, you got a bat in your cave!" But you're right about women letting others know if there's brocolli stuck in your teeth or there's toilet paper stuck to your shoes, etc...