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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Once a month I get up while it is still dark out and make my way to work for an early morning meeting.
UGH.
But it's only once a month and I have been doing this for a long time, so I don't mind.
Part of my duties for this meeting is to pick up snacks for the MD's that attend this meeting. I have tried to go healthy on them, but in the end they want donuts, so donuts they shall have.
I always go to Delicious Donuts. And if you are in Portland and have never been, you are missing out and you need to go. I know that Voodoo is the place that most people hit up, but I just don't think that they are all that good and I am not sure how happy my old school docs would be if I showed up with a box full of donuts shaped like penises.
At 5:30 in the morning it's usually just me and the cop that hangs out there, but this morning there was a younger couple in front of me.
She was your typical Portland white hippy chick. She did not have that funky hippy patchouli smell (but I have a cold and can't breath, so maybe she did) but she had the strange white person dreads and that long patchwork hippy dress that they all wear. BTW...where the hell do they all get those? Is there some hippy mart or a van selling clothes that I am missing out on? Yeah...I am ok with that. Her boyfriend looked like a trust fund baby with designer jeans and a Gucci man purse. DUDE...they were the strangest looking couple ever.
But I started chatting with them as my donuts were being boxed up, and they were nice.
Trust fund boy was asking me where I worked and why I was there so early. I told him that I had to run a meeting for some MD's...yada yada yada.
He made a comment about how it was super early and I was all in the donut shop with wet hair.
At that point I made some funny comment about how usually at this time in the morning I am just getting home from the bar...or ya know...getting up early to go to church (depending who reads this blog).
He made a comment about how I looked like too nice of a girl to ever drink.
WHAT? Wet hair and business attire say that? Who knew???
I told him that was sweet, but that I was a whiskey girl. He yelled out "Me too! Jameson!"

Well, we all know my love for that! I told him that is what I drank as well.

Now....here is the funny part. And this is not the first time it has happened and I am never sure as to why guys say this.

He yells out..."I will out drink you and your Jameson any day!"

Is that a good thing? You either are going to prove that you are a alcoholic or make me puke, as I never back down from a challenge. Either way, I always think that is an odd statement to say to someone that you met 12 seconds ago.

Even the odd hippy girl gave him a strange look. Or she was making googly eyes at her breakfast burrito. Hard to tell with white hippy girls.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I have a 80's Labyrinth Masquerade Ball coming up that I have offered to volunteer for, so now I need a costume. I have the mask, so that is all taken care of, but since I can't go naked (and who would want that?) I need to now come up with a dress. A ballgown sort of thing...I think.

At the moment all of my money is going to pay for summer camps for the boys...so it's time for me to get creative. I knew I had an old bridesmaid dress around the house...somewhere...so I went on the hunt.

In the bottom of the closet in the 'time to go to goodwill' pile I found the dress. It needs to be altered and made 'pretty' and I honestly have no idea of how to do that as I really don't know how to sew, but I will figure that out later.

Under that pile I found my wedding dress as well....so I had to put it on. Ya know...if only to make the boys laugh at me for being silly.

Here are a few things that I learned last night-

1-If I get married again, I am wearing a hat. No real reason, I just think it looks cool. The groom and all the wedding party can rock one as well. The photo's will look amazing!

2- Wedding dresses really do have a lot of fabric. Crazy as mine did not really have a train or anything, just a bit of extra fabric in the back.

3-Something about putting on a wedding dress always makes you feel pretty. Even though I had no make up on, was feeling fat, was wearing knee high socks, had to step over a dog and was in my living room filled with laundry and kids....I still felt pretty. Not sure if it was the dress or remembering how I felt in it on my wedding day.

4-Kellen is amazing! When I walked into the living room with the dress on, after he rolled his eyes, he said to me..."Hey Mom! You should wear that in an act about a girl that got dumped!" DUDE....the kid is scary...but he is sooooo spot on (must now find perfect song!).

I have no idea why I still have the dress as it was not one that I had ever planned to pass down to my daughters...that I don't have and not like I am going to wear it again (if I do get married again, it will be outside, on a beach with a light dress...just saying) but it was fun to put it on last night and dance around the house for a little while. And the memories that it brought back were welcomed as well. I know my marriage did not work out, and the wedding might not have been what I had dreamed about, but it was an amazing weekend in Vegas with friends and family. I said that I wanted to gamble in my wedding dress...and that I did!

Here is a random back pic of me in the dress and hat combo from last night. You can't see it in this photo, but the back of the dress is really low cut and at the time (I was a bit larger) was super out of my comfort zone! Maybe one day I will dig out the wedding photos and take you all on a trip down memory lane :)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

WOW..it's been forever since I have posted. I would love to say that it is due to the fact that I am so super busy that I just have not had the time, but honestly that is not true.
I have been lazy. Lounging around all sloth like on the couch eating bad food and feeling...UGH.

TIME TO CHANGE THAT!

No...really! Bitches...stop laughing!

I have a few things coming up on the calender and I need to be ready!

Grace booked her first show-HOT DAMN (instant want to barf feeling in pit of stomach) so I/we MUST get on the move for that.
I have to create some sort of dress for the Labyrinth Ball and I have no money at the moment, so I am going to try and be creative (would it be wrong to die my wedding dress black and wear that?).
My lazy behind also needs to try and get ready for the MS Mud Run that is just around the corner. I am trying to convince myself that yes, I might get hurt, but I probably wont die...so it should all be ok.

I am sure that I am forgetting about a million things that I need to get working on, but that is my list for now.

Oh, and if you can make it out to my first show...I will buy you a drink (I am not proud, I like bribery!)

Friday, May 13, 2011

This morning I was in the break room before work looking at the paper. I saw in the A&E that there was a photo promoting a burlesque show that I am helping out with this weekend.
In the photo was a local performer, one that my kids and I ran into last week while out and about in the real, non burly world. It's a funny story, but the ending of it is...Kellen said she was pretty. It was cute!

So while talking to my cube mate (she already had heard the story) a second co worker over heard me, and asked what I was talking about. I told her the story (she does not know about Grace Fall, I only said I had helped out backstage or with production) and showed her the pic from the newspaper.

She goes on to tell me that one day last month I was leaving the office and her son saw me in the parking lot and was asking who I was, saying I was cute...yada yada yada.

She ends that story with, "Yeah, he really had the hots for you, but he will NEVER meet you!" UM....OK.
At that point she looked like she was going to spit on me. No...really. You should have seen the look on her face.
BTW....her son is almost 30, not some teenage kid!

I went back to my desk feeling like I had just been slapped. I want to run over to her and tell her that I am a good person, damn it!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I will be the first to admit that I am not the best parent. And that is not to say that I am not a good parent, but I can be a bit unconventional or lazy.

There are times when I let the boys stay up way too late just so that we can all cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. There are nights when we have pizza for dinner and not a vegetable is in site. We eat at the table as a family from time to time but most of the time we eat in front of the TV. Yes. All horrible bad things. I know. I am working on it.

But the point of this story is something good that I did, well, kind of...

Kellen has his big school musical this week and this is the first year that he has has a solo. I am a very proud momma of my little hippo! He has been mentioning that he is scared to do it and feels like he might mess up. I told him that was normal and that he will do just fine. I told him that I understood stage terror (my stage fright goes way past normal) and that the best thing to do it just take it as a challenge and work past it.

Side note: I have said this many times, Kellen has no clue of what burlesque is, he just knows that it involved me creating a costume and a dance and that I was scared to death to do it. So just know that before you go calling CPS on me!

At that point Kellen said to me, "Well, if you could do that burlesque thing and you were scared, I can do this"

AWWWWW......that kids warms my heart!

So I think that in an odd crazy way my taking on the burlesque class has helped out my kids as well. They got to see first hand how rewarding it can be to take on something scary, complete the task and be proud in the end.

And now mom knows how to make them a sparkly hippo costume if they should ever need one!

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? I can hardly walk to my car let alone run through the mud and try and clear some boot camp style obstacle course. UGH. Just thinking about it now makes me feel ill. Knowing that I have to train for it and complete the course makes me break out in hives. STUPID TAMARA.

Oh, and I am a member of a team now. We all know that if I were doing this solo, I would back out, but you have people depending on me and I HAVE to do it.

This could not be a worse or better time for me to try and do this. This girl has gotten big. No joke! I have found that I have started eating crap food and have stopped working out. No a great combo. So training for this is a good thing, but I know will kick my ass and pretty much make me want to vomit.

Today I start training. And by that I really just mean hitting the treadmill after work for 40min or so. HEY...a girl can't do it all in one night!

If you would like to donate and help me reach my $100 goal, click on the link and look for me or send me a note and I will give you the info. Or, you can just check back in here and laugh and cry along with me as I set out on yet another crazy adventure!

About Me

Hmmmm...what to say? There is a lot that I could say, but I will just keep it short. Mom of two great boys. Divorced, but still thinking that true love it out in the world. I spend my days in a cube trying to look like I am doing something productive. I seem to fall alot. A LOT! Kinda a goof ball. Make killer deviled eggs. Host a dang good party. Loves gin and tonics and hambugers. Hmmmm...I am sure that there is more, but I said I would keep it short!