If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Gary Flederís Donít Say a Word is one of the most complimentary films to hit the screens in years.

Borrowing entire portions of its meandering running time from a half dozen older (and immeasurably better) movies, Donít Say a Word seems more than content to simply parade out a handful of hoary old plot threads before lurching to its unsatisfying conclusion. While itís certainly OK for a movie to be somewhat unoriginal, this is a film that leaps right over unoriginal and lands somewhere near amateurish plagiarism.

Borrowing most notably from Ron Howardís Ransom, John Badhamís Nick of Time and James Mangoldís Girl Interrupted, Donít Say a Word offers next to nothing in new ideas and would be completely unwatchable were it not for a few strong lead performances. The screenplay is a non-stop collection of 75-year old plot devices and transparent red herrings and the only thing likely to keep you awake is the intensely reptilian presence of Michael Douglas. (Is it me, or is Douglas the only actor in Hollywood getting younger?)

Douglas plays Dr. Nathan Conrad, and child psychologist notable for his chemistry with young people and also for (yet again) having a beautiful wife half his age. (Would any drama be lost if Douglas was actually to have a wife his own age?) The 3rd grade plot machinations begin when Conrad awakens to find that his 8-year-old daughter has been kidnapped. In the interests of keeping the ridiculous plot threads from straying too far, Conradís wife Aggie (Famke Janssen in an entirely thankless role) is curiously bed-ridden with a big olí broken leg. This is fortunate for the kidnappers, as they can simply spy on her all day and tell her what to do.

It turns out that the kidnapperís are after some secret info: A six-figure digit is locked in the head of Conradís newest schizophrenic, and he has until 5 PM to extract it...or else. Since having Conrad simply ASK for the number would lead to a 45-minute running time, the screenplay has Elisabeth (Brittany Murphy, offering a performance that wavers steadily between fantastic and outright camp) fading in and out of consciousness, lucidity and basically the plot in general. By the time Conrad and Elisabeth are face-to-face with the diabolical Koster (Sean Bean, who seems insistent on playing the exact same role for his entire career), not only is the plot too unwieldy to enjoy, but you simply wonít even care any more.

Director Gary Fleder flaunts some of the fluid visuals and dank corners from his earlier film, Things to Do in Denver when Youíre Dead. Unfortunately, he also displays some truly awful skills when it comes to simply moving the action along (much like in his Kiss the Girls). Being unoriginal to the nth degree is one thing. Making it boring is unforgivable.

Michael Douglas (A Perfect Murder) adds another notch to his ďdry and drab rich guyĒ repertoire, while Brittany Murphy (Clueless) gives it her all in a nearly impossible role. Famke Janssen (X-Men) does a fine job with a pointless character, and Jennifer Esposito (Dracula 2000) is pretty awful as the ONE police detective who gives a hoot about the kidnapping.

Donít Say a Word might keep your interest on a boring Sunday afternoon should it pop up on cable, but those looking for something exciting and new...this is the exact opposite.