Monthly Archives: January 2009

The other day as I strolled into work via Metro, I suddenly realized something:

What if nothing mattered? What if the nature of our existence didn’t matter or for that matter, the nature of our deaths?

Now, don’t misunderstand me. I truly believe most of what I see, touch, love, and various other verbs, but for a split-second, I thought about the opposite of those things that make me question all the things I believe. In other words, I gave true thought to the things that I am not, in a desperate plea to understand intimately the things that I am.

So, as I continued to walk, I looked deeper into the trail I was leaving behind: imagining the impact I was making in the people I was passing; thinking of whether my thoughts were leading towards my goals, or away from them. In fact, and since I’m a firm believer in the ever-changing presence of the Now, I thought to myself whether it was possible to imagine myself in all three levels of existence at the same time: the past, present, and the future.

Well, some would argue that I am already.

All in all, I’ve learned from my walk that there are so many layers of self-awareness that we either leave behind for others to enjoy, or create entirely for ourselves to recreate again and again. Life, as I have learned in these 32 years, is simply about the creation of the Self into a more beautiful and enjoyable Self.

What if
I told you
I felt
lonely
when the dust
has
finally cleared,
or when
your words
suddenly became
my
own, or even
when
your steps
outlined
my own
blueprints;
or when
I’m thinking
about the
future
without you,
like
the one
time I walked
too quickly
for my own
steps.

What I mean
to say if
I ever
begin to overly
think
or
philosophize
too much
about you,
quickly remind
me to
breathe and
tame the spirit
because it is
only
the thought
behind
the thought
that truly
matters
anyway.

Today began at 5am, where it was a steady cool breeze outside and of course, a few moments to reflect on the hours ahead. Today also began with friends waking up scrambling to make Mr. Time become friendlier; and the nature of our bodies to sleep just 15 more minutes less demanding. Today, as it were, began with solid thoughts of how we are suppose to live our lives, and how we are to govern ourselves in relationship to the other people that make us who we are.

Today, we inaugurated Barack Obama as our President with so much love and connection. At times, I was in disbelief, awe , and completely empowered in knowing that my life was about to change.

It has.

So, I’ll keep this post short and to-the-point because I truly want to savor the nature of our new government, our new relationships, and our new love that has suddenly become a higher awareness for who I am, or who I will choose to be.

So, it appears that the weather that I’ve lived through in Maine has finally made a comeback in DC.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the cold weather and even enjoy playing in it at times, but the wind, well, let me tell you, is quite the difference.

For one, it make the whole experience of enjoying the day to a point of being miserable. Walking against the cold wind, then wondering why the heck is Mickey D’s so important that you’re willing to walk to it in the blistering wind, makes you question your own sanity. And to boot, why isn’t anyone talking about global warning anymore? The record-low temps in NYC and of course, the -40 temps in MN has got to stir some feathers eh?

But, I digress.

My friends Chris and his wife Bree are coming down to DC today to crash on the pull-out. The Inauguration, which will most likely change the climate of this small city, is scheduled for Tuesday and with any luck, I’ll have the opportunity to take part in a few local festivities. Of course, Mr. Obama being my boss and all, I think I’m the luckiest citizen amongst the 4 to 5 millions people expected to come. In either case, I’m looking forward to it–not the wind and cold weather of course–but the glory of a new time in history, with a new social awareness of our country is by far the greatest joy of what’s to come. So, wish us luck as we figure out the best route to traverse in the sea of people on Tuesday, and if this blog goes dormant for a few weeks, just assume that my life ended in some mass riot on the Washington Mall.

Other than the usual, life is grand this time of year. Started GWU’s Project Management course and very much looking forward to the work. It’s such a small world that even a buddy of mine from Maine is in the online version of the class.

(Yeah, I gotta keep my nose clean now-a-days…)

Planning a trip to Seattle next month to visit a few friends and can’t wait to experience the crazy lives they live out there. Sometimes I wonder if I ever have to travel anywhere to experience any difference in whom I’ve become, but quickly I realize that there’s so much joy in seeing yourself scattered across the globe.

Of late, I have been kind of tired of the day in/day out routine of working, going to the gym, eating strange food, and yes, sleeping.

So, I’ve changed a major component in my life and before you gasp and say, ‘Say it ain’t so!”, let me explain, it came from a good place.

I got rid of my cable box.

Now, now, I know…it’s a tough thing to hear let alone admit but, as it were, I needed a change in my life and the cable box, in all due respect to Comcast, held me back a bit.

I would find myself coming home and instinctively turning on the box. I would also find myself transfixed on any “Marathon of the Week” show and unable to move during a CSI chase scene, or a Law &Order:SVU court room case.

And yes, I would wait for the commercials to take a pee break.

So, all in all, no joy on the “bringing me to my higher awareness” talk when it comes to watching the tube. Luckily for me, Comcast was able to downgrade my service from an astronomical amount of almost $90/month to a cool and calmer $15/month.