Encouraged to cheat

My dh has been saying he wants me to have sex with a friend. He says it turns him on and he gives me permission. I feel devastated. First I would never cheat/ violate marriage vows even with permission. I feel sad like what we have is not worth safe guarding and I must not be "special" to him if he wants to pass me around like a party favor. It actually made me cry thinking he didn't care if I slept with someone else. If he ever slept with someone besides me I would be so jealous. How come he's not jealous? Is it a guy thing or does anyone else think this is as messed up as I do?

My dh has been saying he wants me to have sex with a friend. He says it turns him on and he gives me permission. I feel devastated. First I would never cheat/ violate marriage vows even with permission. I feel sad like what we have is not worth safe guarding and I must not be "special" to him if he wants to pass me around like a party favor. It actually made me cry thinking he didn't care if I slept with someone else. If he ever slept with someone besides me I would be so jealous. How come he's not jealous? Is it a guy thing or does anyone else think this is as messed up as I do?

Wow I would be devastated as well. I like you couldn't stand just the thought of it. I can't tell you much about what can be done but I don't think this is ok. I mean a lot of men have fantasies but passing you around?? Really!!! That's not right and it's like the covenant of marriage means nothing to him. I think I would flat out tell him it's never going o happen and if you just little as mention this it's over.. Idk it must be tough to her that momma! So sorry!

Wow I would be devastated as well. I like you couldn't stand just the thought of it. I can't tell you much about what can be done but I don't think this is ok. I mean a lot of men have fantasies but passing you around?? Really!!! That's not right and it's like the covenant of marriage means nothing to him. I think I would flat out tell him it's never going o happen and if you just little as mention this it's over.. Idk it must be tough to her that momma! So sorry!

I am thinking it's because he wants to join in as part of his fantasy? Sound like he has an ulterior motive here, and is disrespecting you bigtime! Tell him hell no, and ask him how he would feel if you wanted him to have sex with his male friend as part of your fantasy? I doubt it would fly!

I am thinking it's because he wants to join in as part of his fantasy? Sound like he has an ulterior motive here, and is disrespecting you bigtime! Tell him hell no, and ask him how he would feel if you wanted him to have sex with his male friend as part of your fantasy? I doubt it would fly!

I'm not sure he wants to join in. This might be immature but the thought came to my mind to " fake it" and see how he reacts but I think it's better to tell him how I feel rather than testing him. I would be devastated if it didn't bother him one bit. When I made my vows I was willing to give up all men for good to have a marital relationship with him. I'm really bummed that I'm not more special to him.

I'm not sure he wants to join in. This might be immature but the thought came to my mind to " fake it" and see how he reacts but I think it's better to tell him how I feel rather than testing him. I would be devastated if it didn't bother him one bit. When I made my vows I was willing to give up all men for good to have a marital relationship with him. I'm really bummed that I'm not more special to him.

I think its a positive sign that he is having a conversation about it. He is being open and honest about a fantasy and taking your temperature on your feelings. You just need to be open and honest back. Don't be demeaning. Flip the situation: if there was something sexual that interested you, wouldn't it be nice to be able to have a loving, non judgmental, adult conversation about it with the man you trust and love? If you aren't comfortable, just tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't wish to participate.

I think its a positive sign that he is having a conversation about it. He is being open and honest about a fantasy and taking your temperature on your feelings. You just need to be open and honest back. Don't be demeaning. Flip the situation: if there was something sexual that interested you, wouldn't it be nice to be able to have a loving, non judgmental, adult conversation about it with the man you trust and love? If you aren't comfortable, just tell him in no uncertain terms that you don't wish to participate.

Once I told my husband bedroom talk that we should have a threesome with another woman, not thinking too much of it. It was just fantasy talk and he declined it and made me realize how degrading that would be to me and pointed out how I would feel. From that day on I never bought up the thought of having a threesome and realized I would be devastated. So maybe you can point this out to your dh.

Once I told my husband bedroom talk that we should have a threesome with another woman, not thinking too much of it. It was just fantasy talk and he declined it and made me realize how degrading that would be to me and pointed out how I would feel. From that day on I never bought up the thought of having a threesome and realized I would be devastated. So maybe you can point this out to your dh.

Just a thought..but one my exs did the exact same thing to me years ago..I of course said no then he kept on about it so I just started saying, what if something happened or I got pregnant..then he immediately got mad and said he was just trying to see if id really do it and was 'testing' me...not cool.

Just a thought..but one my exs did the exact same thing to me years ago..I of course said no then he kept on about it so I just started saying, what if something happened or I got pregnant..then he immediately got mad and said he was just trying to see if id really do it and was 'testing' me...not cool.

He probably is bi-curious or it's a twisted test that his friend talked him in to. Either way I'd flip out & say how messed up that is & threaten him to never say twisted crap like that again. Sometimes you have to teach people how to treat you if they don't have common sense.

He probably is bi-curious or it's a twisted test that his friend talked him in to. Either way I'd flip out & say how messed up that is & threaten him to never say twisted crap like that again. Sometimes you have to teach people how to treat you if they don't have common sense.

Lots of people have fantasies that are far from what most people would consider "normal" and that is okay. Your husband trusts you and he feel comfortable telling you about his fantasies. The worst thing you can do is get mad at him for that. If you aren't into what he is talking about, just say that.

Instead of thinking he doesn't care if you sleep with someone else, put a different spin on it. Maybe it turns him on to see how much other people are attracted to you? Maybe he likes the thought of having a really sexy wife that his friends think is super attractive as well? Maybe he isn't jealous because he knows that you love him so there is nothing to be jealous of.

Lots of people have fantasies that are far from what most people would consider "normal" and that is okay. Your husband trusts you and he feel comfortable telling you about his fantasies. The worst thing you can do is get mad at him for that. If you aren't into what he is talking about, just say that.

Instead of thinking he doesn't care if you sleep with someone else, put a different spin on it. Maybe it turns him on to see how much other people are attracted to you? Maybe he likes the thought of having a really sexy wife that his friends think is super attractive as well? Maybe he isn't jealous because he knows that you love him so there is nothing to be jealous of.

I think you should look at it from a different view point in that he is comfortable enough with you to tell you some of his fantasies. I think you should calmly explain that you would not be ok with that and you don't understand his thought process behind it. you should talk to him before you jump to conclusions.

I think you should look at it from a different view point in that he is comfortable enough with you to tell you some of his fantasies. I think you should calmly explain that you would not be ok with that and you don't understand his thought process behind it. you should talk to him before you jump to conclusions.

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