In a blink, President Trump managed to (1) trash a cancer-stricken Republican senator, (2) blame Barack Obama for all of the country’s systemic problems, (3) boast of his own courage if he had been outside of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School during the massacre, (4) praise the NRA for wanting to do what’s right, and (5) strategically insert the success of the washing machine business in the heart of his vacant blusters about gun control.

It’s possible that no other human being could get away with his hopscotching fable to make America great again.