11 Things You Should Never Say To A Jewish Girl

What I hear: "But you don't look like the super-offensive Jewish physical stereotype!" Do you expect me to be flattered or something? I'm not.

strong>2.Duh, you totally look Jewish.

I get this a lot. A lot. Not only are there about a million and one ways that Jewish people can look (see above), but when non-Jewish people say this, what we hear is: "You look like the super-offensive Jewish physical stereotype." Would you go around telling people they look Episcopalian? No.

This might be the #1 most frequent thing people blurt out when they find out I'm Jewish. And, yes, some Jews only date within the tribe. But personally, limiting my already-tiny New York dating pool to an even smaller demographic of people based on certain religious restrictions that I don't even believe in so that I can fulfill my singular purpose in life — 100 percent Jewish children — is not an idea that appeals to me. So assuming that all Jewish girls do this truly makes an ass out of you and me.

(Besides, since Judaism is passed down along maternal lines, my kids technically will be Jewish regardless of who I marry.)

5. So you only date rich guys, right? (Related: You must be a Jewish American Princess.)

Granted, I don't get this as often as other Jewish women do, probably because I live in Brooklyn and write about jizz for a living and am generally a weird example. But, for interested parties, here are my dating requirements: I date anyone I can have sex with and not want to hit with a claw hammer the next morning. And they are surprisingly difficult to fill even without looking at someone's W4 to determine whether they're wealthy enough to be with me. (So, short answer: No.)

The percentage of us who will only date rich guys is the same percentage of all women — or men — who will only date rich people. Any Jewish girl (or any girl, or any human being) worth a damn won't care how much money you make.

6.So you hate Palestinians?

Nope. Just because you have positive feelings about something doesn't mean you automatically have to have negative feelings about something else.