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Me, me, me

I’m a t-rex in reading specks, wearing Monday’s undies on Sundays. I’m a strip mall superplex, drawn to the regression of y on x. The first thing I do in the morning is squint. The last thing I do at night is blink. And in between, I’m the cupcake mix mistress, a veritable dame. Call me Madam- I punnish puntificating puny puns with punderful punitive punderment.
I’ll meet your tacky toes with a tic, turn it inside out, make a limerick. Frame hullabaloos in haikus, adjust so it’s in my camera’s view. Ready. Aim. Take the picture. There. A thousand words like scripture, but really it’s just my friends. And this is us making dinner. And this is us in bathing suits, overseas clenched teeth grin saying “cheese!”
I got more mass than the Vatican City, sitting pretty, flowers tucked behind ears. Bring it down closer, now you can hear.
Yours unduly,
JaiBee