Monday, August 25, 2014

Okay, I ignored your complaints at first. I resisted your demands that the spokesmouths for the State Department be demoted from their JV status to intramural. However, based on this recent statement by Marie Harf – darling of the Mo Beta Sorority of the Traveling Pants – I’ve been forced to reconsider my position:

Thursday at the daily briefing, State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf declined to acknowledge ISIS’ declaration of war with the Untied States of America.

When a reporter said,”The reality is ISIS has announced it’s in a war against America,” adding, “Right or wrong that is what they are saying.”

Harf replied, “Well, they can say whatever they’d like, but what I am making clear is that’s not what ISIL represents. And they don’t represent any religion. They are at war with everybody they come into contact with.”

Now, before you all pile on State’s Ms. Harf, let me point out that she’s only 33 years old – which translates to about 14 in sorority-girl years. How much intellectual maturity can you expect, really?

“Well, you can say whatever you’d like, but what I am making clear is that there’s no ‘I’ in ISIS and your insistence that it stands for ‘Islamic’ does not change that fact.”

I’m as mystified as you; I don’t know how Marie got her job as Deputy State Department Spokesperson either. Maybe - like Tommy “Hey Dude that was like two years ago” Vietor and Anita “From Campaign Driver to top Obama aide” Breckenbridge - she used to drive Big Guy around too. Apparently chauffeuring is a real resume builder and a great career path:

This should remind readers that the boyish and immature Tommy “Hey Dude, that was like two years ago” Vietor also went from driver/flunky to a top post at the National Security Council.