Wednesday, October 16, 2013

A public spat between the attorneys for Albert Pujols and Jack Clark is becoming more entertaining than the feud between the former Cardinals ballplayers.

On Monday, Clark's St. Louis-based attorney, Albert Watkins, issued a statement poking fun at both Pujols and the defamation lawsuit he's filed against his client. The statement (excerpted below) teases Pujols about his name, relays a bit of advice Watkins received from his father and recommends a nice restaurant in the Dominican Republic (Watkins even provides the phone number). Oh, and it also playfully touches on the allegations that Clark defamed Pujols' reputation by accusing him of being a "juicer" during a segment on his short-lived radio show this summer.

Without in any way intending to belittle the importance of erectile dysfunction to those who, regularly or from time to time, suffer from the frustration associated with "taking batting practice with a rope," but Viagra is considered by a whole lot of folks to be a performance enhancing drug. For that matter, Ben Gay may be considered a performance enhancing drug. Perhaps I am speaking out of turn, but I would strongly discourage the concurrent use of both Viagra and Ben Gay. Again, I digress. That being said, kindly consider this a request that you define as a matter of court record specifically those drugs that you consider encompassed by your own use of the three words, "performance enhancing drugs."