Hugs and Kisses Bridge an Emotional Distance

November 12, 2013

The Neediest Cases

By NATE SCHWEBER

Kim Lemon worked hard to stay in her Brooklyn apartment, even after the father of her three children slammed her head into one of its crumbling walls. But then the man returned, threatening to do worse.

“That was when I knew I had to get out,” said Ms. Lemon, 36, a house cleaner. “Because he probably would’ve killed me and the kids.”

Life, Ms. Lemon said, started out tough. After her large family moved from Barbados to Brooklyn, she had her first child, Sharell. She was in her early 20s and lived in a three-bedroom apartment with seven relatives.

Her parents sometimes acted as babysitters, she said, but they were stoic when she needed affection. “My parents weren’t loving,” she said.

She worked at a McDonald’s and saved for her own place. In 2001, she moved into a spacious apartment in Flatbush. The father of her daughter, a large, moody man, had by then vanished. But he reappeared long enough to get her pregnant again, with another daughter, Kayvion.

“Things got even harder,” Ms. Lemon said.

She had trouble talking to her children, she said. Just as her parents had struggled with her. “It was hard for me to give them hugs and kisses,” she said. “And say, ‘I love you.’ ”

Her neighbors caused problems. Once, during a dispute, they threatened Ms. Lemon’s daughters. Terrified, she took her family to a shelter.

Workers at the shelter helped her get a Section 8 housing voucher so that she could move somewhere safe. But her new apartment was in appalling condition. Paint flaked from the walls, mold grew in corners, and the heat did not work. The wait to get a new Section 8 apartment because of poor living conditions was so long that Ms. Lemon did not even try.

The girls’ father reappeared. Ms. Lemon said her instincts told her not to take him back, but, struggling as a parent, she convinced herself that it was the right thing. “I thought I was keeping the family together,” she said. “I didn’t want them to grow up without a father.”

She was soon pregnant again. She had by then quit working at McDonald’s and had begun selling perfumes, batteries and phone chargers door-to-door. Talking to her clients built her self-esteem, she said, and she made decent money.

But she began to weary of traveling from deep in Brooklyn to Staten Island and the Bronx, so she took a job cleaning apartments in Manhattan. She loved her new boss, a smart businesswoman, and hoped to emulate her.

The children’s father turned violent. One night he flung a pot from the stove at Ms. Lemon. Then he pounded her skull into the wall. The police came and arrested him. Ms. Lemon got an order of protection, a referral to Brooklyn Community Services and a counselor, Emily Kaufman. “I needed someone to talk to,” Ms. Lemon said.

Ms. Kaufman gave Ms. Lemon electric blankets and space heaters. They talked about Ms. Lemon’s parenting. Ms. Lemon changed her locks, but she did not leave.

In March 2013, Sharell, 14, was getting dressed in front of the bathroom mirror when the floor, which was rotten, caved in. She tumbled into the hole and landed on her back in the basement atop a pile of spiky debris. Splinters and nails rained down. “I thought I was dead,” she said.

Around this time, the children’s father started calling again. He left threatening messages. He stalked around the building. Ms. Lemon said this was her breaking point. “I had to go,” she said. “I just couldn’t stay.”

Ms. Kaufman secured a $600 grant from Brooklyn Community Services, one of the organizations supported by The New York Times Neediest Cases Fund, to hire a broker to find a new apartment for Ms. Lemon. Section 8 allowed the move because of the domestic emergency.

The family moved to a warm, new three-bedroom home in the Bronx. Recently Ms. Lemon, dressed in jeans and a tank top, talked about her budding housecleaning service and how she would someday like to hire young women to work for her. She showed off her business card. It read “Lemon Fresh Cleaning.”

Sharell said that through the family’s ordeal she had watched her mother change as both a woman and a parent. She called her mother her best friend and her role model. “She taught me to be strong,” Sharell said.

Then Sharell glanced at her mother, put her head in her hands and sobbed.

Ms. Lemon rushed over, wrapped her in a hug, and told her how much she was loved.

More In The Neediest CasesThis is the 106th annual campaign of The New York Times Neediest Cases Fund, which runs from Oct. 15, 2017, to Jan. 12, 2018. The Fund has provided direct assistance to those struggling in New York and beyond.