I’m not a huge fan of going out ON Valentine’s Day. It just feels so forced. But last night was Valentine’s Day +1, and I was fine with the reservation my husband made for us.

I was very excited; he took me to the Capital Grille in DC, which I’ve never been to. We’re huge fans of trying new places to dine, so I was excited to head over.

I loved the Capital Grille. It was old-school. Dark wood, dim lighting, and almost pompous in a subdued way (if you can imagine.) It was far from loud and trendy, but even so, it was the place to be. Full of politicians, full of (I’m assuming) lobbyists, but all the ego-stroking was done in a calm and composed manner. I don’t think there was anyone there under the age of thirty.

Being a native New Englander, I had high expectations as I ordered a three pound Maine lobster My husband had a steak by the likes of which I’ve never seen. Both were delicious.

We were surrounded by well-known people, except I couldn’t place any of them. Cut me some slack; all politicians look the same in dark blue suits!

My husband did a fantastic job choosing this restaurant, and we had a great, relaxing even.

I think sometimes men just like to be in charge. Which is a good thing, because when it comes to negotiating, I feel like a cork ready to pop.

If I haven’t told you already, I’m in business to business sales. And I’m pretty darn good at what I do. But put me at a car dealership, or have me negotiate my lease, and I totally lose my cool. I know what it is, too. I hate when I feel like people are trying to pull one over on me.

Considering I do more of a consultative sale and I’m all about helping my clients find solutions to their issues, I hate when someone tries to make a quick sale with me. I know what’s best for me, not you, smarmy salesperson.

So when we recently got to the top of a very long waiting list for a much larger apartment in our building, instead of being thrilled, I was tense. So many details…How much is our rent going up? Do we have to sign a new lease, or can we transfer our current lease? Can we negotiate the price at all?

Which is where my husband, Captain Awesome, comes in.

He’s in sales, too, but he LIKES the challenge of dealing with a smarmy self-serving salesperson. You could say I shirked all responsibility and threw this at my husband, but I actually think he LIKES to be in control and deal with this sort of thing.

What’s the point here? Well, I think it’s important to remember to let go, sometimes. I know husbands get a bad rap, especially in all the tv commercials that paint them as silly dolts. But keep in mind that men LIKE responsibility and to know they are needed and appreciated.

When we sign the dotted line this weekend, I’m going to be very thankful and appreciative that he was able to get this all handled.

A cheesy pickup line? Not REALLY my thing, but when you’re trying to be as clever as I am on a daily basis, you think outside of the box.

So last week when I was in Florida and saw a ‘Pick-Up Lines’ Magetic Poetry Kit at a magnet shop (yep; a shop that just had magnets), I decided to buy it and have a little fun with it.

I can’t even remember what I put together for my first little quote on the fridge; it was something slightly naughty but mostly funny. He laughed and got a kick out of it.

Yesterday, I was opening the fridge and saw:

I love you all my life

Love it! My husband decided to play along! Ironically, I tried to be a little ‘naughty’ to appeal to the man in him (thinking that’s how he’d go about this little game), and interestingly enough he responded back with a mushy phrase.

Mine did. At first it felt like a trick. Like, “Why does he want me to go away? Is he up to no good? is he sick of me?” You know, all the general paranoia stuff.

My older sister is a world traveler. She’s traveled a lot for work, and she’s also traveled because she’s a professional athlete. China, Australia, Netherlands, South Africa, England, Guatemala; you name it, she’s been there. Now, she’s been hounding me for a bit to go on a weekend trip with her. I haven’t been on a weekend trip with her since early 2004 when we drove from New England to Virginia Beach for a WEEKEND (for a conference she was going to.) That’s it!

I do see her quite often, however. As you may have noticed from some of my posts, I live in Washington, DC. My sister, by air, lives only an hour away, so she flies down to (or through) DC quite often.

Finally my husband said to me a few months ago, “Why haven’t you planned this weekend trip with your sister yet??”

Really?? I’ve WANTED to go, but as a mom who loves her family, I’ve felt pretty guilty about planning a trip to California, or Vegas, or Colorado, or WHEREVER for the weekend so I can hang out with my sister and have fun!! I felt guilty abandoning the kids and my husband.

But most of all, I feel guilty going out and having fun without him! He works just as hard as I do!

Well, it’s planned. Tomorrow afternoon I will be flying to Florida with my sister (who was awesome enough to fly here first to meet me, and then head down with me!) And guess what, my other sister already happens to be down in Florida on vacation with her boyfriend, so I’ll get to see her too. And if you can believe that, can you believe that my father and grandfather will be in Florida, too? They drove all the way from New England to pick up a car (my grandfather is an antique car buff), so I’ll get to see them, too! What a weekend!

But, “Florida?? Kind of boring, no?” I’m sure you’re asking.

Yes, I think Florida can be kind of boring, except when your sister was able to win a lottery and purchase tickets for the second to last ever space shuttle launch!!!

That’s right, on Monday, we’ll be seeing STS-133, the space shuttle Discovery make its last flight. How exciting! I got to see STS-49, the maiden voyage of Endeavor, when I was younger, but I think I’ll appreciate this a whole lot more since I’m older.

So a whole weekend in the Orlando area with my sister, before the launch.. what to do, what to do…

Update:

The launch was scrubbed

I ate dinner at the House of Blues at Downtown Disney

My sister and I drank lots of Bailey’s on the rocks on our flight down

Did you know they call Panama City, Florida (a stop on our flight) the Redneck Riviera?

My 15 minute stop in Panama City, Florida, was the first time in my LIFE that I’ve been in the central time zone. I’ve been to Eastern, Atlantic, and Greenwich, but never anywhere west of eastern time.

I was thinking almost more of a mindmap. And I think he’d actually get a kick out of it.

I’ll draw up something to do with love and marriage. I got the idea from Mind Map Inspiration, where someone had drawn up a neat one on love. I was thinking of doing something like this, but also including more about us personally, with maybe a few pictures and such.

On a big piece of paper. Poster sized. Framed. And hung in the bedroom. What do you think? Mine won’t be so cutesy, but here’s the sample I really liked:

Friday afternoon, we texted all afternoon, and I was so excited for him to board his flight to head home. About an hour before leaving work, one of my colleagues noticed lots of police outside our office and that the road was closed. I’m not an alarmist, but here’s something I haven’t mentioned yet;

Fact #1 I live in Washington, DC. And if you guess that police action in DC is common, you’d be guessing right.

Fact #2 I work in an office that is VERY close to The White House (and yes, I know the picture I posted is not of the White House).

So of course my alarm bells were ringing. Then our front desk told us that it was a bomb scare. I left work and went to get the kiddo from daycare to head home. All in all, it took me an hour and a half to leave work, get the kiddo, and get back home. That’s less than 20 miles, by the way.

Getting to the airport:

I fed the kiddo a quick dinner, packed up the baby bag with goodies in case we had to wait too long at the airport, and we took to the road. It’s 29 miles to the airport. Husband’s flight was scheduled to arrive at 8:49pm. I left the house at 7:15pm I figured that would give me time to park, find his gate, and be waiting at the appropriate area for him.

I was wrong. There was a major accident on the highway, and I was slowed to 5mph. For OVER five miles. Now, there were several exits I could have taken to get off the highway and take backgrounds, but wouldn’t you know, he was arriving at the only DC area airport I haven’t yet been to (we have three major airports here, one I can SEE right out my window. He was not arriving at that one.) So I couldn’t get off the highway; I had no idea where to go. I eventually made it, and arrived right as he was exiting the terminal. Right on time!! It was so exciting! He was with a colleague, so I didn’t get all mushy right away. As his colleague was walking away, he said to my husband, “See you on Monday!”

See you on Monday? SEE YOU ON MONDAY??? Monday is a holiday!! I have it off. He thought he had it off.

He texted his boss to confirm that Monday was a work day. It was. I had to bite my tongue. I hadn’t seen my husband in days, and thought we were going to have a nice long weekend together. It wasn’t his fault, though. No use taking it out on him.

The weekend

My awesome wonderful husband was a crank all weekend. He complained that there was a basket of laundry that wasn’t folded, that there were dishes in the sink… the list goes on. I felt totally deflated. I thought I did a good job! Between the kiddo being sick, me trying to work, trying to get everything done…ugh. I know I’m not the most tidy person you’ve ever met. I admit I’m not. And I know it frustrates my husband, because, well, he IS rather tidy.

I don’t like being untidy; I just FORGET to do stuff.

Saturday afternoon, I went over to Barnes and Noble and bought a weekly planner. In the back, in the notes section, I wrote out a checklist of all the stuff I should be doing on a daily basis (one page for morning, one page for afternoon). And then on the actual days, I’ve started writing other chores that need to be done; for example, today I need to sew a button on a pair of pants. Had I not written it on the calendar for today, it may not have gotten done until next weekend.

The Rest

Even so, the husband has still been a bit cranky all weekend long, and a little distant too. I was frustrated. I know I’m not neat, and I know it frustrates him, but was that reason for me to totally feel deflated? It’s a pretty crappy feeling.

So this morning I sent him an email:

Hey handsome. I love you, and the kiddo and I miss you today.I’m really not sure what happened this weekend.. (besides our great lovin’), I just felt like you were distant and somewhere else. I was so looking forward to seeing you after your trip, and I feel like it just did not go anything like I thought I would. I thought things had been going great for weeks, I felt really good like we were in a good place, but this weekend was just a down weekend I guess. I felt you come across as negative and cranky all weekend, and it got me really uptight. I’m sorry about all the stuff around the house; I’ll keep trying to work on it. I’ve got a little list going today. I love you lots, and I really look forward to spending the weekend with you next weekend.

He sent two responses, which I’ve edited and put together to save space:

I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to come across that way. I’ve been stressed out about work. It isn’t happening fast enough and that just doesn’t bode well. Everything that I’ve put together has fallen apart and everything of value is taking too long to materialize. So, it’s been weighing on me for a few weeks now.I should have told you that this was stressing me out and not made you feel like it’s you, and I’m sorry if I’ve been taking it out on you.

I learned a few lessons, here:

I thought this was all about ME. The world doesn’t revolve around me.

I’m glad I had some self-restraint. Earlier, my husband had told me he appreciated me picking him up at the airport, and that his colleague’s wife wasn’t picking him up because it was too much of a hassle. When he started getting on my case about the laundry and the dishes later, it took every ounce of me to not say to him, “Well perhaps this is why your colleague’s wife doesn’t pick him up at the airport; she’s probably too busy at home tidying up to perfection so he doesn’t complain when he gets home.” I can guarantee, though, if I had said that, there’s no way he would have opened up to me and told me he was stressed at work with his new job. He would have been justified in making it about me.

It’s best to stay calm and not rush to judgment.

My husband is TRYING. He’s REALLY trying. He’s not exactly Mr. Openupandsharefeelings, especially when I bitch back at him, so this is major. He wants to work hard for our marriage, and it’s a conscious thing. He’s not just subconsciously or peripherally thinking about our marriage and our family.