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Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes

Mike: I don't believe this. You are setting me up?Susan: You need to move on, okay?Mike: I don't wanna move on. I came here to see you.Mike: Well, I'm not available. So, if you feel like kissing someone tonight point those lips at Maggie.

Russell catches Edie and Carlos in bed together.Russell: Well, I see you can't close a sale without opening something else.Edie: Oh, please, I heard about your open house on Holly Drive, they're still disinfecting the Jacuzzi.Russell: Slut!Edie: Bitch!

(Mike walks into Carlos' room, Edie is hiding next to the door)Mike: (whispering) So uh... you got a girl in here?Carlos: No, why?Mike: Because when I came home, I thought I heard sex noises.Carlos: (laughing) Nah, that was just me.

Susan: Look, Ian is going to come and invite you to dinner for Friday and you are not, I repeat, not going to accept.Mike: Why is Ian inviting me to dinner?Susan: He wants to thank you for saving us and he wants to show that he's not jealous of you. How's that for irony?Mike: I didn't plan to kiss you but you didn't exacly resist.Susan: I was in shock.Mike: Why were you so upset when you mentioned Ian?Susan: Because we just had a fight. About you.Mike: Really? (smugly) Talk about me a lot?Susan: Mike, I am marrying Ian. We have hired a caterer, we are going with the salmon so just back off.(Mike sees Ian coming over to them)Mike: Hey Ian.Susan: Hi Ian. I just asked Mike, he can't make it.Mike: Yeah, I'm sorry, I've got plans tonight.Ian: Ah. But didn't we say Friday?Mike: Friday? Oh, Friday I'm wide open.

(Gabrielle and Victor are stuck in an elevator, Gabrielle starting to undress Victor)Victor: Come on, cut it out, the power could come on at any moment.Gabrielle: I know, that's what makes it so exciting, the risk.Victor: But I, I'm kinda running for mayor here, remember?Gabrielle: It's an elevator, silly, it has an emergency stop button... I don't.

Gabrielle: Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. I'm afraid Mr. Lang has to take an important meeting in his limo...now.(She grabs his arm and drags him off to the limo. He gets inside with Gabrielle close behind. He loosens his tie as she begins taking off her clothing.)Victor: To the radio station, Clyde. So what's this all about?Gabrielle: Your speech--I liked it.Victor: Seriously, here? Now?Gabrielle: Well, you laid out all your positions. Don't you want to get acquainted with mine?Victor: Clyde, could you put up the partition, please?Clyde: Yes, sir. Anything else?Gabrielle: Music. Loud music.

Passion. It's a force so potent we still remember it long after it's faded away. A drive so alluring it can push us into the arms of unexpected lovers. A sensation so overwhelming, it can knock down walls we've built to protect our hearts. A feeling so intense, it resurfaces even though we tried so hard to keep it buried. Yes, of all emotions, passion is the one that gives us a reason to live, and an excuse to commit all sorts of crimes.

Andrew: So he is a fat loser, who do you expect to get for $8.50 an hour?Lynette: Well, that's what we pay you and you seem happy enough.Andrew: That's because I'm doing the beer delivery guy.Lynette: Oh... okay... my fault for asking...

(Victor wants to go to bed with Gabrielle.)Victor: As far as I'm concerned, the chase is half the fun.Gabrielle: Half the fun? Oh honey, if I ever do say yes... (gives him a long kiss) You're going to adjust that percentage way down.

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(talking on the phone) Hey Gaby, It's Lynette. Got a little emergency here. Is it okay if we use your back yard? (pauses) Great, great. And we take complete responsibility for whatever the pony does. Hope you get this message soon.

Bree: Excuse me. Did you lose something?Orson: No. I just thought... for you.Bree: Oh, um. I don't do that. Orson: Why not?Bree: I'm a republican.Orson: I'm a libertarian. I believe in minimizing the role of the state and maximizing individual rights. Bree: But Orson?!Orson: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.