Am I good enough?

Replies to: Am I good enough?

Nick, if you want an honest opinion--here it is. You are 1. a lucky devil and 2. a whiner.

You were accepted into your "dream program" and then continued to audition---why? You made the pool bigger for those people who didn't have a school to go to.... and I for one am GLAD you were not accepted into those programs because it would have meant that someone else---who had no place to go---was NOT accepted.

I am speaking from the perspective of someone who has worked hard all her life for this and has, to date, been rejected by THREE programs---two of which would have been "dreams" to attend. So pardon me if I think all your emoting about this is very, as my mum would say, ill advised and puts you in the worst possible light.

If you re-read my posts, you'll see I am NOT whining, but honestly asking how you know you should be in this field. Simply wanting it is not good enough...and when you see posts like some others here where kids made it into 6 of their 7 schools, you start to question...

I can't believe there aren't other kids out there thinking the same thing, and needing the same encouragement. We've all worked hard...we've all had lots of successes locally...we can't all make it. Since when is honesty whining?

But nick, you DID make it into the next step of your journey. You got accepted to a BFA in MT program (in fact, your dream one) and only have two rejections so far. You don't need umpteen BFA acceptances to indicate whether you're gonna make it. You applied to five. You may get into one, two or three now. If you get into three instead one, it isn't gonna be any more indicative that you are gonna "make it" in this field. You made it into the next step.

Even getting into a BFA is no indicator that you are gonna make it in this field. It remains to be seen.

When you get out of college, you may get an agent, you may not. You may become Equity, you may not. You may be cast or you may not.

One thing that is for certain, however, for all those who "make it", they met many rejections along the way.

By the way, my daughter has many friends who got into her BFA program through Early Decision (she applied Regular Decision, however). Those kids don't have other acceptances in hand to "prove" anything. Many are now successful post BFA graduation.

I have to agree.....you got into your dream school! ENJOY! You can analyze and question all you want, but there is no point. They may not have needed your "type" for whatever reason. I'm not so sure the validation you are looking for will be found in this career choice. It is just too subjective. Best of luck and congrats on getting into your first choice school. You are a most fortunate young man.

Thanks, I am (overly) reassured now...guess everyone thought I was going to walk away from a great opportunity because of a couple of rejections. Not the case at all. It was just a question rolling around in my mind...

Ah c'mon, guys, give Nick a break. Here's a 17 or 18 year old kid who was posting nothing more than that his confidence was shaken by the rejections and was honest in admitting to his insecurities and everyone is coming down on him like a ton of bricks. He never once stated that he was unappreciative of the acceptance he received and to the contrary expressed his immense appreciation of it and yet he's going to be called a whiner and told that he is holding himself out in a bad light because of his candor about his insecurities. It's perfectly natural for someone who does not have a deep and broad foundation of experience to draw upon to have their confidence shaken in circumstances such as these and to even wonder if a "first time" success right "out of the box" was some kind of fluke, a 1 time event, and that the subsequent failures are more reflective of who they are and what to expect in the future. Happens all the time and not just in the world of theater. Call Nick inexperienced or even naive but a "whiner", that's unwarranted.

To be "glad" Nick was rejected from the other schools is not only uncharitable but presumptuous and myopic. There are many reasons that a student accepted to a "dream school" would continue to audition, not the least of which is to see whether an acceptance comes in from another school that may offer a better financial package that results in a revaluation of where to attend. The other schools may offer other attributes that make them highly ranked contenders with the "dream school" and a student may not want to make a final decision until all the results are in. Other than students who apply ED, I'm hard pressed to think of any student I've encountered who once having received an acceptance from a "dream school" cancelled all their remaining auditions. To the contrary, all of the students I've encountered played out all of their auditions even though they had in hand an acceptance to a school they would be delighted to attend. More over, Nick's continuation with his auditions, if he is accepted anywhere else, will in all likelihood have little or no impact on anyone else's acceptance odds. With few exceptions, schools accept more students than they expect to attend because they know students may get more than one acceptance and decide to attend elsewhere. The odds of Nick's acceptance at another school squeezing out someone else are probably pretty low due to the acceptance/yield ratio and is certainly hypothetical. Furthermore, in a given regional area and among schools that draw a national pool, there is all sorts of "cross pollination" among students who are auditioning at various schools. There is a substantial likelihood that there will be other students accepted elsewhere who audition at other of Nick's schools. Should they all withdraw from their other auditions? I would focus more on preparing for my own auditions than worrying about whether I was auditioning against someone who has an acceptance somewhere else.

Nick, you're not whining? Whatever... but if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck ... I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I have spent two years watching my own son and other students work hard and go through this process and at the end of the day, be grateful for their success. You do not sound the least bit grateful that you were accepted to a very good school and regardless of your protestations to the contrary, that does make a bad impression!

I agree that Nick should not and need not pull out of his remaining auditions. He has every right to see them through and think over his options and decide which is the best fit (he may not have even seen every school yet) or even the best financial aid offer. I have had two students (one another year, one this year), upon getting an acceptance before the holidays at one of their favorite schools, cancelled a few auditions to lighten their audition trip load where they knew they preferred their accepted school over those schools, and then kept their other audition appointments intact. I have not seen anyone cancel all their auditions, unless accepted ED, where they would HAVE to do so. I also agree that they are not taking anyone's slot. Schools accept more applicants, usually, than slots in the class, knowing that not everyone is going to attend who has been accepted. As well, many students, my own kid among them, have acceptances to multiple programs and can't attend all of them. For the schools they end up turning down, this is just part of the yield process. At some other schools, it may mean the school goes to a wait list. Each student can only ATTEND ONE school, after all.

In my opinion, Nick should do all his auditions if he wants to. At the same time, he should realistically expect some rejections. He is sitting pretty right now IN at a school so early, a dream school in fact. Sure, rejections sting. But if you enter this process knowing that it is very very very realistic to get SOME rejections, each one should not be a big blow or indicative that you don't have what it takes. In Nick's case, to be accepted so early in the process should be affirming. Many have to wait until March or April to get that acceptance, if they get it. It's a nice position to be in to start with an acceptance, let alone at the favored school. Sure, there are kids who get into many BFA programs. But these students are more in the minority. The main thing is to be able to progress to your next stage in this journey. In that regard, nick has been successful already.

I also think some of the reaction on the thread is due, in part, to the fact that there are students right now who don't yet have an acceptance in hand (it is only mid Feb) and even have some rejections already in hand, and those particular students and/or parents have a harder time reading about disappointment over a rejection or two when the student is accepted to their dream school. I understand the lens through which they are reading the thread. Many would be envious of nick. I understand nick's disappointment with two rejections (that's not a lot of rejections, however), but at the same time, I also can see how someone who is currently batting 33% acceptance to BFA programs would be the envy of those who don't have any acceptances yet and so they have trouble reading about the "disappointment" of the 66% rejection rate.

So, a lot of how someone views this is gonna be through their own personal lens and experience. Nick has his. The students who are dying to get an acceptance already have theirs. Those removed from the process or who have been through it and are past this stage of the journey, have theirs. And so it is.

this is nicks mom. i registered for a screen name so i could do my "mother lion" impression. listen, this is a great kid and he (and I) appreciates your positive feedback in a stressful time. his "dream school" is a financial stretch for us, and Nick knows that. he has been working hard to find scholarships, etc. that make that possible to get there and we will do everything we can to make it happen for him. he cannot afford not to audition other places, and many of the questions he has come from us also. we are new to this as many of you are so please be kind!

soozie, michaelnkat and others, thank you for giving us a whole new perspective. that was all he was trying to achieve, i know he did not ever intend to sound arrogant or ungrateful. you were very kind to share your time with us. i have advised nick to stop posting to this thread but hope others will glean lots of insight from it.

Advice to Nick....It is natural to feel some disappointment and doubt when receiving rejections. I understand. At the same time, I hope you walk away from this process feeling AFFIRMED. You have been accepted into a fine program (possibly may get into more). It really doesn't matter how many you get into. Nobody is gonna care or know. The number you get into won't matter in terms of your success as an actor. Come next fall, none of this is gonna matter. You're gonna be studying MT and that's what this is about. So, come to expect rejection as PART of this process and also try to feel affirmed that you have made it to your goal. One of out three is really great so far.

Advice for those still waiting....it is HARD! The uncertainty and stress can feel overwhelming. Believe in yourself. Each result is not a commentary on your talent. You just need ONE acceptance. More is nice but not necessary. Try hard to look at the big picture. Each admission decision along the way seems so important to you at the moment but at this time next year, you are going to be happily immersed in college some place. You hopefully created a balanced list of schools that is appropriate to you and if so, you will have some place to go next year and when you get there, none of this stuff will matter any more. I know it is hard to see that now but that really is how it will be. Hang in there! Things work out. You just don't know exactly how that will come about, but it will.

Nick and others, I wanted to add a different perspective that may or may not apply but based on my D's experience and her friends at auditions (althought they were dance programs). My D found that she was accpepted at one school, albeit one she was no very interested in, she was able to relax more and enjoy the class and let her love of dance show through. Her friend, accepted to the same program, found taht at the next audition she was less on top of her game. For my D being accepted helped her enjoy the process more, for her friend it seemed to interfere with her being at the peak of her performance.
Nerves and internalizes them is different for each person, and some people are at their best when everything is on the line, for others this interferes. I wondered if maybe in your later auditions if you were missing that little edgeor hunger that might have been there for your dream school. I have no way of knowing, and maybe completely wrong, but when I read your post back at the start that is what popped into my head.
Congratulations on your acceptance, and enjoy the rest of your senior year.

SKIPSMOM: Shame on you...as an adult you should know better. I would rather see this kid question what he is doing and look for answers from the experts out there than to read some of the parents get on line to only brag to no end. If he doesn't ask now and here, when and where should he?