Month: December 2016

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: More laws needed to stop people from driving like idiots

Fredericton — It appears that Voltaire nailed it back in the 18th century when he famously said, “Common sense is not so common.” Members of the Legislature in Fredericton are being called upon to act after the recent tragedy near Sussex where star cyclist Ellen Watters was killed by a collision with a passing car. This…

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Santa says no to carbon tax on reindeer farts

North Pole — While he’s been busy deciding who is naughty or nice lately, Santa Claus says that he remains undecided about the new carbon tax plan discussed in Ottawa last week. While providing a framework to reduce emissions and promote environmentally friendly energy generation, Santa says that the Trudeau government’s plan is completely silent on tax changes…

Saint John — While the temperatures are cold, the tempers were flaring today at the Saint John City Market. Sixty-three-year-old market patron Dave LeBlanc was suddenly and viciously attacked by a bystander while he was repeatedly asking strangers if it was “cold enough for [them]?” “I was just shopping for some beard oil in the market,” said LeBlanc….

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Jake Stewart: ‘Something ain’t right but I don’t know what’

Fredericton — An ancient Chinese proverb suggests that, “In conflict, be fair and generous.” But, apparently this advice was lost on Progressive Conservative MLA Jake Stewart. On Monday, Stewart launched a conflict of interest complaint against Premier Brian Gallant. The root of the complaint is a consultant who worked for both the government and Enbridge Gas at…

From Shawn on “The Manatee”: Nail fungus sock guy never heard of Band-Aids

Montague — After a firestorm of questioning, an Internet-famous Prince Edward Island man with a raging case of toenail fungus is admitting that he’s never heard of Band-Aids. The individual with the infectious irritant became infamous after his private video of a bedroom encounter went viral online. The video shows the man about to be…