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“Am I following my dreams or am I just stuck,” you ask? Mayhaps…to both!?! Just like many of you, my predictions of what 30 and beyond would be was much different than it actually is. I saw myself as a successful editor in a publishing house, or better yet, an English professor pioneering accessible pedagogical methodologies. I know. Ambitious, huh? Oh, the joy of youth and dreaming. What a bastardization of reality!

The fact of the matter is I negotiated the two and found a resting place right in the middle. I’m a copy writer. Not of the New York ad agency, award winning variety; just of the Denver, paying my bills, enjoying my life variety. And as much as I’d like to say I’m not close to where I wanted to be, I really am. You see at the foundation of those “the sky is the limit” ideas I had of my life during my earlier years was simply being a writer. Trust me. I’m constantly arguing (with myself) that there’s nothing worse than getting what you wanted. Sometimes I think I’m right.

So yes, I am following my dreams. Yes, I am stuck. But, unless you’re some ass-kissing, privileged, over-achieving schmuck (or various combination of the said) you’re in the same boat I’m in—forever reconciling the need to be somebody you thought you’d be with the fact that you are precisely who you want to be. I can hear those of you saying, “I don’t want be here.” If that’s the case, change bitches. Otherwise, my word is bond. Now sit down.

Wait. Before you get comfortable, I’d like to know about your 30 year assessment. Maybe you’re exactly where you knew you’d be. Maybe you’ve taking a few side streets and aren’t quite there. The question is how are you embracing the choices you’ve made?

4 Responses to “The 30 Year Assessment”

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile who I am with what I thought I’d be. I do know that while I depend on my lackluster career to define a successful life, I have more than recognized success in relationships, hobbies, and well- living a full life.

Therefore, it’s my own definition of success standing in my way while I try to find satisfaction. It’s something I’m working on. I guess my assessment comes back as “in progress.”

One of the most important skills I’ve learned since I’ve entered my 30’s is to realize that there is no “should”. You really can’t plan life. (Well, you can *plan it*, but there’s never a guarantee that things are going to follow that plan.) Life is about the journey not the destination, and if you spend a lot of time wondering when you’re going to get “there” or worrying about how you’re not “there” wherever that may be, you’ll miss your life.

So what I focus on is what is important to me at this time and what makes me happy. Then I do things to make sure that I prioritize those important things and spend time being happy rather than worry about if my life looks like I thought it would at some point in the past.

When I was in college getting that electrical engineering degree and wishing I was in history classes, I imagined that by the time I was 25, I would have a solid engineering/management career, would be married, and would have a house. I really couldn’t think beyond that except that everything after 25 would be an extension of that vision.

In reality, when I turned 25, I was an executive assistant for a marriage communication training company. I was alone. I was miserable. And I could see no future beyond that hand to mouth state.

Today, I’m a few years into my thirties. I went and got the ridiculously expensive, completely invaluable master’s degree I never knew I wanted. I have a job that I never would have imagined ten years ago. I am not an engineer. I am an administrator in higher education. I am not married, but I am getting over my neuroses so that I don’t scare off Hot Boyfriend. I have a dog. I don’t have a house. And life is way more interesting than anything I could have projected back in college. I am surrounded by fascinating people who take amazing risks every day to make the world a more exciting, interesting, and better place. I have to say life’s pretty darn good to me these days…

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[…] “Am I following my dreams or am I just stuck,” you ask? Mayhaps…to both!?! Just like many of you, my predictions of what 30 and beyond would be was much different than it actually is. I saw myself as a successful editor in a publishing house, or better yet, an English professor pioneering accessible pedagogical methodologies. I know. Ambitious, huh? Oh, the joy of youth and dreaming. What a bastardizatio … Read More […]