Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t get famous for doing something completely moronic on the Internet. Case in point: This week, one enterprising young man tweeting under the handle @VERSACEPOPTARTS (a.k.a., Thot Pocket) skyrocketed to the heights of social media celebrity/infamy by documenting his sexual exploits with a microwaved Hot Pocket.

The madness began when he posted a Vine of himself violating a box of brown-sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts on Vine. The clip was quickly removed, but Thot Pocket took to Twitter to celebrate his conquest:

Emboldened by the response, he decided that he was not put on this earth to fornicate with cardboard boxes alone. He had hotter (literally) snack foods to bed. He called upon the wise masses of the Twitterphere to cheer-lead him to greatness:
From there, the Internet fame cycle took hold—stories on reddit and Bro Bible helped turn @VERSACEPOPTARTS into a Twitter folk hero, and he played the part, getting himself blocked by the Hot Pockets brand account for his solicitous messages and issuing triumphant declarations like, “you can suspend my vine but you can’t change the fact i fucked a hot pocket.” He even stated his intention to have his way with a rotisserie chicken next.

And then, just like that, it was all over. Thot Pocket’s Twitter account was suspended. But we still had some questions left unanswered—most notably, “How long did you microwave it for?”—so we tracked down the 18-year-old behind the stunt (who preferred to remain anonymous) to get the real story behind his exploits.

He spoke to us on the phone from his home in New Hampshire. Here is our conversation, which includes a rather shocking revelation about what he does for a living.

Extra! Extra! World Exclusive Q&A with the Dude Who Boned a Hot Pocket!

Thot Pocket?Yo.

It’s Chris from First We Feast. What’s up?Nothing. Playing some Grand Theft Auto 5.

You have time to talk?Yeah, I have a couple minutes. Let me go grab a cigarette…give me a second. [Disappears for a minute and a half.] Alright yo.

It’s too bad you got kicked off Twitter today. Your name is hot in the streets.
[Laughs] I know. I don’t even know what I’m gonna do though. I run a 100K page, @pizzaminati, that I started a few months ago because I got out of high school and I’m not going to school now or any shit, I’m just working full time. So I just started talking about pizza—just, like, all pizza tweets—and then all these large-ass accounts just stole my tweets, like my original writing. A couple months later I hit 100K and there were all these other pages about pizza that just take my tweets all day. So I kind of just took my personal [account] and fucked around a bit, and then all these kids were pissing me off so I just posted, like…I did much more crazy shit than just fuck a Hot Pocket and a Pop Tarts box.

So essentially you were tired of people jacking your pizza tweets so you started pushing your personal account and doing crazy things you thought other people wouldn’t do?
Yeah. It got like 10,000 [followers] just from me being myself, and then when I did my stunt thing, Kingsley noticed me on YouTube and @LOHANTHONY tweeted me and shit, and all these other people were giving me mad hate. But I gained like 6,000 followers just from the Hot Pocket thing.

What was the first stunt?
I posted a picture—I was like, “Damn girl, are you gonna turn up or are you gonna unfollow me?” and it was a picture of me in the mirror naked with a bottle of Hennessy covering my dick. That got like 2,000 retweets. I had some of my friend with bigger accounts retweet it. And I got mad shit for that so I just took it down. And then I was like, “50 RTs and I’ll shave off my pubes and glue them on my face.” And I just took some hair and put it on my face a couple minutes after and that got like a thousand retweets. And then I did the Pop Tarts box and the Hot Pocket.

I guess the question remains: Why Hot Pockets and Pop Tarts?
I just thought it was so fuckin’ funny. I trolled so many people. I didn’t really glue pubes to my face, but…maybe I did. [Laughs.]

*watches a kid fuck a hot pocket on vine* yep I’m done *jetpacks into the sun*

Take me through the actual experience of Hot Pocket penetration.
Ah shit, dude. I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot. I put it in the fridge for a little bit and I was like, “Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna actually stick my dick in the whole Hot Pocket.” So I kinda like did the Vine—I wasn’t planning on starting to do all this shit. I asked some kid if I should post, like, a shock picture, and he was like, “Yeah dude, do it, those are the best.” So I did the Hennessy thing, and then it just went to my head a little bit and I just did everything.

I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot.

When you heated it up, did you follow the instructions on the box as if you were going to actually eat a Hot Pocket, or did you try to figure out how to make it kind of warm but not too hot?
[Laughs] I have, like, a strong-ass microwave so I don’t even read boxes or anything. I put it in for, like, four minutes I think.

What kind of Hot Pocket was it?
Ham and cheese.

Why did you pick that one?
Um, it’s just the only one…I got out of work and I stopped at a convenience store because I knew I hit the goal on my retweets or whatever.

When you hit the goal did you have a moment of realization like, “Oh wait, now I actually have to do this?”Well, I knew I was gonna hit the goal no matter what because I’d already done crazy shit. But then it was the fact of actually going and posting it…I was kind of hesitant at first. I mean, my name’s got out there, but people don’t really know who I am. I don’t know—I feel like it’s gonna, like, fuck shit up maybe in the future. I was kind of on a roll of Twitter fame anyways, but I know that all of that shit doesn’t fucking matter.

Just saw a dude fuck a hot pocket and I’m on the verge of tears — Big Daddy Typo Kimg (@Wombxwrecker) February 24, 2014

How many followers did you gain from the Pop Tarts and Hot Pocket stunts?
The Pop Tart one was like a thousand, and then the Hot Pocket one was literally like 6,000…but then I got suspended.

Did you create an account just to Vine the Pop Tarts thing?
I created it that day. I had like 500 followers after the Pop Tart video, because that was my first Vine, and after the Hot Pocket one I had like 3,000. Then it got suspended.You seem to have a knack for this. Now you just need to figure out how to make an account that doesn’t get suspended.
Yeah. Or I could get that one back. If I get it back, then I might keep it and I might not, and if I don’t get it back, I don’t know if I’m going to remake it. I mean, I still do have that page with 100,000, but I might cool it on that for a while…shit. Because I was trying to make a clothing company actually.

Was your goal to create big accounts that would help you promote the clothing company?
No, the goal of this, I guess, was just to fuck around and see what happens. It went really viral quick. I don’t know if I really expected that, but I kind of did. I knew it’d be fuckin’ nuts.

What were some of the craziest responses you got from people?
There’s all these other, like, nobodies that were saying shit. But then there this girl with, like, 40K and she got like 200 retweets when she quoted some of the shit I said and was like, “Where’s your father?” That’s when @LOHANTHONY tweeted at me and was like, “Fuck me like you fucked that Hot Pocket.” He has a verified account with 1.2 million followers. He’s a famous YouTouber.

So do you regret putting your face out there?I don’t really care. I haven’t gotten noticed in public yet. And I’m still young—I’m 18—so it’s not like I’m gonna still look like this in three years.

As long as you’re actual name isn’t out there…
Yeah, pretty much… I mean, it is out there, though. I might have to get my name changed. I wanted to work with that account though—that’s just my sense of humor. I wasn’t taking it serious. Some people were like, “This guy fucks Hot Pockets!” Nah, I did it one time, motherfucker.

I think the fact that the jokes were actually funny made a lot of people assume it was a parody account and not real. Have you always been the class clown type?Yeah, I was always like that. Lately I haven’t been going to school or anything and a lot of my friends are just, like, at college and I’m working full time, so I guess I was just taking it out on [Twitter].

What do you do for work? I’m a chef.

At what type of restaurant?
It’s a seafood place. I’m the grill guy. They do everything—it’s just sort of, like, a general restaurant—a lot of fried food though.

Some of these people would be shocked that I work in a restaurant.

Have you ever violated any of the food at the restaurant?
[Laughs] No.

Do you ever think about it while you’re cooking?
No. But the other day I was like, “Wow, some of these people would be shocked that I work in a restaurant.”

Are you familiar with the one or zero scale?
No, I’ve never heard of that.

So basically, instead of rating someone’s looks from zero to 10, it’s just a binary scale: Would you have sex with them or not. Oh yeah.

It’s a chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey.
[Laughs.] Oh my god. Zero.

How about a molten chocolate cake?
Molten chocolate cake! Definitely a one.

That’s the ultimate. What about a baguette?
Baguette? Zero.

Are there any foods that you love so much from childhood that you would never think of them in a sexual way?
Probably pancakes. I would never defile a pancake like that.

Someone else recently claimed to have sex with a Domino’s pizza.
Yeah I saw that. [Domino’s] tweeted at them, but there’s no proof.

He might just be a pretender to the Thot Pocket throne.
Yeah. I was thinking about doing pizza, just because I have a pizza page.

Have you ever heard of the porn series “Big Sausage Pizza”?
No.

Basically, a porn star will show up as if he’s delivering pizza, but he makes a hole in the bottom of the box so that when the girl opens it, his penis is there on the pizza.
Brazzers [the porn production company] followed me like 10 minutes before I got suspended. I sent them a DM like, “Yo, you guys should have me do a movie.”

Has the Internet fame helped you meet any girls?
Well, I’ve always had a big fan base anyway, but I haven’t actually met anyone from it. But there’s a lot of girls that were, like, turned on by it somehow, which I thought was really cool. There were a lot of girls that were like, “Is it weird that you doing all that makes me more attracted to you?”

When you got all those replies from people, did you hit any of them up?
There were really so many. I tried to, but I’m pretty fucking busy, like, more focusing on my tweets and my next stunt. But, I mean, I text a few girls now….I try not to be a huge manwhore. Like, I just try to find one nice one.

So you’d rather meet a nice girl than have a lifetime supply of Hot Pockets?
Nah, I’d rather have the lifetime supply of Hot Pockets. All day.

What’s your next move if you can’t use that Twitter account for another stunt?
I was going to light myself on fire for 10,000 retweets.

Don’t do that, man! That sounds too dangerous.
[Laughs] Yeah.

Anything else you want to tell the world?Um…someone else should fuck a Hot Pocket. And I’ll retweet them. I wanted to get people to do crazy shit too, not just me. People where starting to call me Hunter Moore.

Yeah, I would definitely recommend it, if you’re lonely. I wouldn’t recommend putting it on Vine, but I’d recommend fuckin’ a Hot Pocket probably.

You should learn to spell. And be less racist. Funny how those two thing always go hand-in-hand.

G14

Since nothing was mispelled I don’t know wtf you’re talking about. You should learn word meanings so you can use words like racist correctly. Also pony up to have that stick surgically removed from you ass.

ginjaninjaavenja

Racism: a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement.

Your words: ‘white dudes will stick they dick in anything”

You said something racist, by definition. Also, you are a thin-skinned and stupid cunt who is being mocked by your betters.

Also, you seem super interested in other peoples’ dicks, butts and which devices are or are not inserted within said body parts. You may wanna get that checked out with a doctor, could be signs of an early childhood trauma.

G14

You know when you need to Google racism and write 500 word comments, you’re probably not anyone’s “better”. I’ll just humor you until your meds kick in. Also I think the word you are so desperately searching for in your self-righteous pursuit of…..whatever the fuck, is “prejudice” dum dum.

Guest

So you admit 500 words too many words for you?
(And this kid is calling other people “dum dum”)

It’s not self-righteous to mock idiots like yourself, that’s just good sport.

And word I used is the correct one: racism.

G14

No, you didn’t. Sorry. Sorry you came off like a raging, pretentious, inept, blow hard in the comment section of the story about a guy sticking his dick in a hot pocket. You are a really sad person. Also I like how you called the other people that clicked on “Guy has sex with Hot Pocket” story, “my betters”. Yes, you guys are the pantheon of American society……

K

G14 is right, the word you’re looking for is ‘predjudice’ since there is no internalized racism towards white people. I don’t see white people getting killed for being white, being turned down jobs or being payed less because they’re white. Also, you might wanna check that homophobia, ginjaninjaavenja. You’re trying to insinuate that being gay is an insult and also the result of childhood rape.And you consider yourself ‘better’. That’s some funny shit right there.

Guest

What the hell does “internalized racism” mean in your world? Because it does not mean what you tried to use it for here. Were you fumbling for “institutionalized racism” maybe?

And, buddy boy, if you want to get all semantic: racism does not need to be institutionalized to be racism. Racism is racism. Racism is also a SPECIFIC form of prejudice in action…racism is a subset of prejudice. So you ARE correct, G14 is also being prejudiced, but he is also being racist.

Actually, pointing out G14’s obsession with faceless strangers’ genitalia, butts, and sexual status has little to do with homophobia, but a valid observation of his unhealthy behavior. why do YOU think that behavior is tantamount to being gay? Do YOU think gays have unhealthy obsessions with strangers’ genitals? Seems like YOU are being homophobic (or at least misunderstand what being gay is).

Glad you find my correct assessment of my relative worth to that sad dickbag G14 to be funny, because I do, too. He’s fun to laugh and point at, mostly because of how dumb he seems. Good times, good times….

Greg Halter

sorry but at 2 minutes most hot pockets cannot be reasonably eaten until they cool off. At 4 minutes I find it hard to believe he has anything left. Even if he wore a condom

Apparently, ‘nobodies’ and ‘somebodies’ are classified by twitter followers. Can’t wait ’til this kid hits the real world. Please, please, please don’t reproduce. Do the world a favor and carry on having sex with random food products.

Argh! Curiosity has SO got the better of me! AAnyone know if this video is still out there? Gotta see this shit!

قطب الصاوي

Ok

You know when you need to Google racism and write 500 word comments, you’re probably not anyone’s “better”. I’ll just humor you until your meds kick in. Also I think the word you are so desperately searching for in your self-righteous pursuit of…..whatever the fuck, is “prejudice” dum dum.

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Then the liberal xXxx sex fun x vidoe media got involved and tried to manufacture a false ‘news’ story to fit their agenda, which, as we have come to find out, was a massive pack of lies about how poor ol’ Trevyon was a ‘good boy’ and a victim, sIx funy and Zimmerman was a racist looking for any excuse to kill someone.
The reality xxxx is that thDCXXDSACe liberal xnxx media has no desire to merely report the facts, but to force society to fall in line with their ideological views, and the ones who don’t are marginalized, or attacked as racists, bigots, mysoginists, and every other name in the book you can think of.

xXxx Actually, sIx funy the Trevyon Martin xIxx case WAS nothing more than a local crime story until the ‘social media’ picked up on it and got the big money race baiters involved.
Then the liberal xXxx sex fun x vidoe media got involved and tried to manufacture a false ‘news’ story to fit their agenda, which, as we have come to find out, was a massive pack of lies about how poor ol’ Trevyon was a ‘good boy’ and a victim, sIx funy and Zimmerman was a racist looking for any excuse to kill someone.
The reality xxxx is that the liberal xnxx media has no desire to merely report the facts, but to force society to fall in line with their ideological views, and the ones who don’t are marginalized, or attacked as racists, bigots, mysoginists, and every other name in the book you can think of.

xXxx Actually, sIx funy the Trevyon Martin xIxx case WAS nothing more than a local crime story until the ‘social media’ picked up on it and got the big money race baiters involved.
Then the liberal xXxx sex fun x vidoe media got involved and tried to manufacture a false ‘news’ story to fit their agenda, which, as we have come to find out, was a massive pack of lies about how poor ol’ Trevyon was a ‘good boy’ and a victim, sIx funy and Zimmerman was a racist looking for any excuse to kill someone.
The reality xxxx is that the liberal xnxx media has no desire to merely report the facts, but to force society to fall in line with their ideological views, and the ones who don’t are marginalized, or attacked as racists, bigots, mysoginists, and every other name in the book you can think of.

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