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Sunday, October 10, 2010

Today, I was outside the Davenport smoking a Parliament, a “gentlemen caller” was staring at me as though I was Boticelli’s “The Birth of Venus” without a single word. I rolled my eyes and turned my back to him. A lot of my guy friends here tell me that they feel like they do not want to make the first move. I laugh at them for their sense of a priori. You see, there is no such thing as the lack of the empirical when it comes to women. Honey, we make the most subtle first moves. Whether it is a pair of pearl earrings or a slight smile, we invite your approach. By the way, ladies, men are like mocking birds; they can not resist a single shiny object. So with that in mind, men think they are the ones attempting conquest when in reality, the conquest is nothing but an exchange for the better. Realist turned Liberal, if you will. And yes, that was an IR theory reference, for you SIS studentettes out there.

So if we have established the premise that there is no such thing as a priori in courting, we must invoke Alexander Wendt, a German social scholar who saw international relations as a forum for communication. So let us apply his argument to dating, shall we? Wendt loves talking about mirror theory as a solid form of communication. The mirror theory is based off of “the principle of identity formation is captured by the symbolic interactionist notion of the ‘looking glass self’ which asserts that the self is a reflection of an actor’s socialization”.

In other terms, if you illustrate interest by the way you smile, if he is interested, he will do so too. Communication works in such an egalitarian way here if done properly. You know what I am talking about: You in your confident stride attracts his gaze. You cause him to discreetly(or not so discreetly, sometimes they stumble. In that case, job well done, chika!) walk over and talk to you. Names are exchanged, and soon numbers. Just keep Wendt in mind that you cause him with your feminine mystique and confidence to come over. You call the shots, not him. And it is all in the subtle behaviors before the “first move” that cause them to go mad. So chin up, you never know whose watching. Secretly smile just knowing that they are.