Monday, June 15, 2009

The color purple holds a special place in my heart. You see, I went to school at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, where my Warhawk blood runs that very color. It is no longer a color just for girls, and it stands for levels of awesomeness rarely achieved in the state of Wisconsin. We party with the best of them, regardless of how smelly and crappy our bars are, and how few and far between the women are. We win national titles in several sports, not caring that its division III. Whitewater is home to the legendary Toppers Pizza, and I'm not biased just because im a franchisee. That's but a few examples of the power of purple in Wisconsin and in my life.

However, this is where it all gets fuzzy and confusing, and my brain has a hard time functioning. The reason for this, I think, is because we in Wisconsin have had one tried and true guaranteed awesome card we could play over everyone else in the country. We could just turn to this when our chips were low, the odds are stacked against us, and any other cliche you can come up with that displays just how much crap we take for living in this state and putting up with the weather, lack of in-shape women, and whatever else rattles your cage about the cheese state. This card I refer to (in case you forgot what I was talking about. that was a massive run-on sentence, and like I said before im all fuzzy and confused) was a demi-god known as Brett Favre. Having this legend collide with my color purple that belongs to the Minnesota Vikings makes me want to throw up out of orifices that don't exist in the human anatomy.

Its all but official now. It's simply just a matter if his arm works, that's it. Forget that fact he retired twice already, and in the last one said that he knew it was his time because he couldn't do the things he once could. Throw aside his history in the Metrodome, or how the Vikings became a more hated rival in our generation than the Chicago Bears. I could go on and on but you know it all by now.

This guy could have gone down as the COOLEST HUMAN BEING EVER. I'm not overstating this. Everyone loved the guy. I don't know how many different places I've been where people don't like the Packers but love Brett Favre. Instead he is now a joke. He's given it all up just to spite the Green Bay Packers over a sticky situation he created. How long did you want the world to wait for you Mr. Favre? You were singing the same tune for years, and were given ample time each of those years to make up your mind. That time YOU jumped the gun, and now you are blaming everyone else, which eventually has led to this debacle in purple.

Most fans don't know what to do. Betrayal is the main word the comes to mind, and it's not being over-dramatic. I know what I want to do. I want to get in front of the train wreck that you are creating and get smashed by it so I don't have to watch this crap about you anymore. A$$bag.