Posts Tagged ‘Vienna’

First, we’re happy for Bernhard Kohl in his post EPO life stage as a bike shop owner. He’s moved on, made amends, spoke honestly of his mistakes and most importantly, relocated his soul. Which makes the whole face-in-mirror routine a lot more fun.

“I have a new life now. It was a great time, but now I have other goals. Fortunately, I am able to fully concentrate on my new business, and that makes me very happy,” said Kohl. “If that wasn’t the case, maybe I would be crying today, sitting there and longing to ride races again. But this way, I am satisfied.”

What’s even more impressive is his level of philosophical insight. He went through hell and by his own admission came out a stronger man. His ability to look deep inside himself says a lot about Kohl and even more about riders like Riccardo Ricco who seem born with blinders.

“Looking back at it, what I did and what I lived through was crazy. But when you’re a professional athlete, you don’t look beyond the tip of your nose. You’re locked in that world, in which you do everything for success. To make it public, to speak about it, was my personal way of therapy. That is how I realized the extent of what I’d actually done. If not, I would have blocked it out like 99 percent of the other athletes.”

Twisted Spoke is thinking that perhaps this is the new therapeutic path for wayward suspended riders. Open a bike shop. Vino, Hamilton, Valverde, Di Luca, Rebellin, are you listening? Who doesn’t want to buy their daughter’s first bike from the Vino4Ever bike store in Astana? Who wouldn’t like shopping for an Italian race bike at Danny di Bike or CERA Cycles and chatting up proprietor Danilo di Luca — free style and blow-dry with every bike over 1000 euros.

Who could resist Hamilton’s House of Hot Wheels? A terrific selection of bikes and pharmaceuticals for all your cycling needs. Personally, we look forward to the grand opening of Loco Puerto Bikes, Valverde’s new shop in Madrid. We can’t wait to see all his famous winners’ jerseys and used blood bags displayed up on the shop walls. Alejandro’s dog Piti is lying in the corner and waiting for a friendly pat.

Kohl isn’t the king of the mountains any more but he might be king of the revelations” “I think I have taken the right path. Not always in the right direction, though, as I also made mistakes. But I ended up steering my boat the right way with the idea of the bike shop.”

We like the words Bernhard Kohl used to sum up his wild ride — “Life plays its little games that are destined to be.”

The 27 year old Kohl is moving on, having retired from the pro ranks in the wake of his 2 year suspension for doping during the 2008 Tour de France.

Kohl will be devoting himself full time to the bike shop venture “I will be in the store 12 hours a day,” he told the Österreichnewspaper. “We will offer a unique atmosphere, which has never before been seen in Austria.” And that’s the scary tip off, right there.

Unique atmosphere? Bikes in the front room, pharmaceuticals in the back room. We can see the special promotion now: Free centrifuge with every bike over 3000 euros.

Names for the new bike store that he apparently did not consider were the following: CERA Cycles, The Disgraced Cyclist, Pariah Bikes, Bad Bernard’s Bicycles and BK (the bike store and fast food burger joint.)

But seriously, we wish Bernard Kohl well. At least he had the honesty to admit his mistakes– which is way more than you can say for most riders nailed for doping. They never stop insisting their A & B sample was mishandled and that a conspiracy is the only explanation.

If we’re ever in Vienna we’ll stop in Kohl’s shop and pick up some arm warmers.

The latest drug revelations about the blood doping clinic in Vienna noted that riders waited their turns at the Mcdonalds across the street. So you can have a happy meal and then a bag of blood. I’m loving it, as they say in the McDonalds advertising.

Now it must be noted that McDonalds has nothing remotely to do with the doping clinic across the street but you can’t help but ask yourself some funny questions:

Can I get fries with that EPO?

Can I have a clean syringe instead of the cheap plastic toy?

If the clinic’s refigerator breaks down, can we store the blood here until it’s fixed?

What do you recommend? The double cheese burger or the fish sandwich before an illegal blood transfusion?

It appears that “super-size me” has now met “super-speed me.” According to the report, riders were given cartoon nicknames like Shrek, Lucky Luke and Scrooge McDuck to conceal their identities.

The next time you’re hanging out in a Mcdonalds in Europe, see if there are any skinny guys in lycra shorts and team jerseys there. Then casually mention out loud you just got a job as a drug tester for the UCI and seen if anyone panics.

Hey, there are steroids in beef so HGH or blood doping in cyclists is no big deal, right?

Beer, bike racing and Trappist monks. Nothing weird about that. With Omloop Het Niuewsblad and Sunday’s Kuurne-Bruxelles-Kuurne just days away, we raise a glass of Trappist beer in toast and hail the stellar efforts of Dutch brewing. After all, you gotta wash those frites down with something. Budweiser would just be bad form, like showing up […]

(Note: This is our third installment of Dutch Treats in celebration of the fast approaching race season in Belgium.) The responsibility for the current Dutch Bike craze falls squarely on the Dutch. The wonderful irony is, the entire cycling universe is in ecstasy but not the Dutch. Not their style to get worked up about […]

Gumby is back. Yes, he breaks but he always comes back strong. Veteran American rider Chris Horner showed everybody in the Tour of Sardinia he’s feeling few effects from his five major crashes last year. The bald headed rider from Bend, Oregon put on an impressive display in the queen stage, finishing 2nd to Roman Kreuziger […]

In our second installment of Dutch treats to celebrate the fast approaching Belgian racing season, we tackle the tantalizing subject of Belgian frites, the beloved Dutch snack. Bike racing and Belgian frites are so deeply intertwined in the culture that it’s fair to ask if one could survive without the other. There is no tour […]