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Who out there in writing land has felt as though they turned into their characters or one of their characters?

I realize that a lot of what we write, we take from our own personal experiences. I get it.

But my character has been creeping too much into my head lately…and too much into my life! Yes, she was initially inspired by me…because that’s what I know. After exaggerating her personality and thinking about her life and thought process and adding new idiosyncracies, I feel as though I am taking on her traits. It is consuming me…which is either a great thing for writing or an awful thing for my brain.

Is this how method actors feel? How do they become like someone else and then snap back into themselves when their movie/show/whatever is over?

I AM Abraham Lincoln, dammit.

Is method writing a thing? It must be…everything is a thing, it seems.

The silver lining…is that I created this person. I can make her into whatever I want. So if I need to improve my disposition, I’ll just improve her disposition. I’ll have her turn into the sweetest, funniest, friendliest mother fucker I can think of and change everything about the whole story. Because I can.

Hell, maybe the prize patrol will show up at her door with a giant check and balloons!!! Maybe then life will imitate art?? Right?

People like to say that they could’ve made this piece of art. They could’ve. But they didn’t.

People like to say they hate it because it’s minimal and takes very little talent to paint a whole canvas a solid primary color.

People like to be critical.

People like to think they know everything about art.

Guess who loved this piece? This 6 year old lovely. Yes. Art doesn’t have to be complex and inventive to be great. It can be whatever it wants. People will still run through the museum to get to it after looking at sterile still lives and portraits. This 6 year old ran because it’s familiar and comforting and she can relate to it even though she doesn’t know the deep seeded meaning behind it. People will still stretch their arms out and say, ‘This one is my favorite!’ just like she did.

I think this is one of the only things that I have truly despised from Target. And I had high hopes for it…my cute little pink clutch. It fit all my things perfectly.

Well, after about a week, she zipped no more. Sometimes if I zipped strategically and slow, with my face super close to it watching the links go in and out of the zipper head, it would zip…but then halfway up, split again.

Then I’d try the encouraging, speedy, staccato back and forth zips….I think, maybe if I just zip it back and forth like I’m trying to start a fire, it’ll catch and amazingly zip for me.

And it might. But then I’d have to eventually unzip it again…for money or some other annoying reason and go through the same song and dance again.

What’s most impressive and also maddening is just how long a person, meaning me, will put up with such an annoying daily nuisance.

I don’t seem to have that tangy zip that I want. How do I get this zip? I used to have it consistently. Now it comes and goes.

I’ve found that sugar makes me zippy. Caffeine makes me zippy too. Both of these, to me, are fun yet artificial zips…although I love them. I do love them. I don’t want to deprive myself something that I love.

But where is the homeostasis? Where is the plateau? Where is the level headed consistency of zip that I once knew? Where’s the tangy zip??

Perhaps I buried it away into a box with the notebooks of terribly dark and adolescent poetry I haven’t burned yet?

Or tucked it in the portfolios of awful watercolor paintings I attempted (I was never that great at watercolor…too impatient)?

Stuck in between every single piece of paper that lovely #1 ever put a crayon mark on when she was 2?

Maybe it got sacrificed to the thrift shop with the piles of unnecessary shit that I seem to accumulate and purge on a regular basis?

I bet it’s lost somewhere in the Tupperware drawer.

No, I bet it’s been right in front of me the whole time…and all the while I’ve been searching, it’s been growing more and more annoyed that I can’t find it.

Oh, there you are, tangy zip!

Just kidding. I didn’t really find it. I just thought it would be funny if no one could figure out if I was searching for something intangible or the tangy zip of Miracle Whip.

So I was at the grocery store, waiting in line, when I saw the ‘Oprah’s favorite things’ edition of her magazine. I didn’t buy it. I didn’t even open it. I only thought about what MY favorite things are…and what recommendations I could make for holiday (ugh, to soon to talk about it) gifts….if I had a magazine.

Let’s start with the obvious…Pearl Jam. If I had to choose one album to get someone, it works be super tough. A live performance would be a must. But…if I had to choose one I would choose by favorite right now, which is Vitalogy.

Doc Marten boots. They’re simply the best.

Real Simple magazine.

Banana Flax bread from my local co-op. It’s so damn good.

And I love my Breville juicer. Love it. I’ve been fond of making smoothies lately, however it was the juicer that set me on a healthier journey.

Black v-neck t shirts from Wet Seal. Wet Seal?? Isn’t that for 15 year old girls?? Yes. Yes it is. But their shirts are the best I’ve found…and they’re like $7.

Seinfeld. All the seasons.

Wayne’s World. Party time. Excellent.

A big tub of coconut oil.

Peppermint Bark ice cream. Isn’t it interesting how I speak of this healthy journey and yet still include ice cream on the list? You better believe I’ll be indulging in at least 3 pints this holiday season. Maybe more like 7.

A warm car. Remote starter? It would be on my favorites list if I had one. I could only imagine.

A tempur-pedic bed. I don’t have one of these either…but I laid on one in the showroom. It is by far one of my favorites. Please give one to your loved ones this holiday season if you have an extra $5000 hanging around.