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Thursday, August 25, 2011

I'm Racing This Weekend...Yikes!

Fact: I've been slacking on running.
Fact: I've been really slacking on running.
Conclusion: It's best not to race.

Not being one for conventional wisdom, I've signed up to race this weekend. It's not a normal race, though, it's a triathlon. Actually, it's the Tri Triathlon, which may be the most unimaginative name for something since the Renault The Car. I didn't name the race, though, and even though it's extremely confusing (and much worse than the original name for the event—The Autumn Colors Triathlon) I've cursed under my breath as Active.com weaseled me out of a "processing fee" and signed up for the race. After doing such a thing, and because I find myself with extra time on my hands, I've made a tentative—but rather firm—pledge to myself to use the most complex sentence structures imaginable. So far: winning.

Why the Tri Tri? Because I couldn't find any good Run Runs? (Insert joke about Mexican food here) Not exactly. First, I have a new bike. Mr. Trek 1.5 would like to have a fun weekend, and what better way than careening on twisty roads through a park?

Second: My $10 contribution to Michigan State Parks has given me a discreet letter "P" on my license plate which not only allows me into any Michigan State Park or Recreation Area (like Holly Recreation area for the Tri Tri), but it also lets me say "I've got P on my car". I find this mildly amusing.

Third: We had an earthquake on Tuesday. If the end of the world is near, then I might as well do something crazy.

Fourth: I just want to race. Period. (I'd race Apostrophes too, but they're just so possessive.)

With a race on Sunday, I have a few things working in my favor:

I have a new bike. Since I've spent money buying new gear, I should do better than if I didn't spend money (ahh, the problem with triathlons—money buys victory/speed. But this might be a post for later).

I don't take triathlons as seriously as runs, so my expectations are low. It is likely that I will meet or beat my expectations.

And these things are working against me:

I've swam once since May.

I've run less than I should have been.

I know nothing about the course.

There's also something very strange about this race—it's a "time trial" start. Instead of actually racing against other people, you only race against the clock. There's not a single person on the course who started at the same time as you, so any incentive to pass or out-kick someone goes away.

Oh well, at least it's a good excuse to get out of the house all day Sunday.