The Fear Of Intimacy

Okay , i can see that gleaming smile on every ones face, just after reading the topic only. Why does that one word raises that whirl wind of emotions?

Everybody is afraid of Intimacy. It simply means exposing yourself before a stranger. So who can be categorised as a ‘’stranger’’ , firstly we are strangers to ourselves, because we do not know who we are and then we are strangers to others.

The fear is taht if we drop all our defences, all our masks, who knows what the stranger wil think of us and how wil they react.

The problem becomes more complicated because every body loves intimacy. We are all hiding a thousand and one things --- not only from others but from ourselves, because we ahve been brought up by a sick humanity with all kinds of taboos, repressions, inhibitions.

This is one of the conflicts between, friends, lovers: nobody wants to drop their defences and nobody wants to come in utter nuidity and sincerity, open--- and both need intimacy.

Only a man of meditation can allow intimacy to happen. He has nothing to hide. All that was making him afraid that somebody might know , he himself has dropped.

He has only silence and loving heart. If you can’t accept yourself in totality haow can you expect others to accept you? You go on hiding, you know animality is hidden in you. The word animal is not bad, it simply means alive. It comes from word anima.

But man has been given a false superiority that he is above all creatures. To existence everything is equal. Life is a very thin thread which can break any moment, once this is accepted, you drop your false egos of being Alexander the great .

One of your most basic needs is to be needed, but nobody wants to accept it, we live in our pretentions and hypocrisies. The higher expression of anything becomes weaker. The roots are very strong, but the flower can’t be so strong. It’s beauty is because of not being strong.It starts the day with opining it petals, dances the whole day in the wind ,in the rain , by evening the petals start falling. Everything that is beautiful is ephemeral.. But lover sgo on making false promises, even when they perfectly know tha they are not even certain of the next moment.

Condemning your own nature, you become schizophreninic, , the secret is once something is brought to the conscious mind it evaporates, leaving you more lighter and cleaner, thus unburdening your unconscious.....

By being more intimate, we will make our relations more positive. Ofcourse positive relations ahve more problems, buteverytime each problem will be solved, you will have gone a level higher in your understanding, you won’t fall back in the trap of it ever....eachtime a challenge is taken something will become more integrated in you..... Intimacy brings growth with it for both the persons, one shows his original face and helps the other in doing so and if a relationship helps you find your original face then it is meditative. So why fear intimacy, and lets colour our relationships with it, be it of friendship or love with humans or god.