Why Do People Settle?

It’s extremely disappointing to see so many men and woman in toxic, unhealthy relationships. It breaks my heart to see people tie themselves to individuals that they were never intended to be with. Someone once said, “Marriage can be heaven on earth or hell on earth depending on the person you marry.” It’s amazing how being connected to the wrong person can hold you back in life. What sparked this discussion? Well, while distributing documents to other coworkers at work, one of the ladies on the administrative staff caught my attention. I began to wonder how a beautiful, smart, and loving woman such as herself married the man she married. I won’t spill their tea (meaning their business), but let’s just say he doesn’t deserve her. There are several reasons why people settle in relationships. Below I have listed the top five reasons I believe people settle:

Fear- Some people may be afraid that they won’t get what they actually desire, so they begin looking at their reality and lose hope in finding the person they were meant to be with. People may also be afraid of being alone, so they settle for unhealthy relationships.

Desperation- Some people are just desperate. They want companionship so badly that they marry the first person that comes along and shows them any attention.

To appease others- Some people get married based on what others expect of them. Maybe a parent, sibling, or friend is pushing them to marry a person they feel would be ideal for them.

Low self-esteem- Some people stay in relationships because they don’t believe they deserve better. They don’t realize how valuable they are which lead them to stay in unhealthy relationships with people who will handle them in a way that reinforces the way they feel about themselves.

Familiarity- Some people just become complacent in their current relationships. The person they’re with are familiar, and for some, familiar means safe.

Regardless of the reason that a person may settle, settling is never a good thing. In the end you’re only forfeiting what is truly meant for you. I want to encourage everyone not to take marriage and love relationships lightly. Before selecting a mate, be sure that you are healthy and whole yourself so that you can attract a healthy and whole person. When you agree to commit to someone, it should be for all the right reason. Not because you’re desperate or because they’re the only one that’s showing you any attention. They should love all of you. The good, the bad, and the ugly.