Fatherhood

We need to be having the type of conversation that we are happy to have on our blogs and in forums and Facebook groups in the big wide world face to face with people. More than that though do we need to talk to people who are not already on our wave length, we need to stop preaching to the converted and start preaching to the masses.

You would think I had asked them to tell the person next to them how often they have sex.
Speaking up about your parenting ability is just not something parents find easy. Had I asked them to talk about what they get wrong as a parent, they would never shut up.

There is a vast canon of literature on new-parenthood, child-rearing, baby nurturing, what to expect and what not to expect once you've had a baby. You could thatch houses with the amount written about this most wondrous time of any person's life.

I'll let you in on a secret I LOVE being a dad, it is the single greatest thing in my life. My partner, other family, friends, hobbies and other loves (reading, music, photography etc.) you are all great (don't be jealous now) but nothing, and I do mean nothing, quite compares to the awesomeness of being a dad.

Arquette confirms my fear of becoming a mother. A fear that has led to my non-normative decision in not having children; a decision that is constantly contested by society, my mother every time we Skype, and none the least by myself.

If you think of all the social networks that exist for parents, they almost exclusively exist for the benefit of mums. Whether formal or informal, mums, especially if they have young children, have much greater opportunities to meet, mix and make friends.

You and your partner agree to have an 'early' night. Search the underwear drawer for something other than pyjamas. Options are; nighties (baggy tee shirts), comfortable knickers, two old maternity bras, three used breast pads or a random thong that must have escaped the Great Thong Purge of 2010.

You cannot babysit your own kids, what you are doing is being a responsible adult or parent and looking after the produce of your (probably) misguided fumblings (anyone who claims this clearly has no wish to be a dad so it must have been a mistake, am I right?).

Wife goes on a rare night out and you have strict instructions regarding kids bed time - ignore all said instructions, give them all the forbidden snacks they want in front of a movie and let them fall asleep on the sofa without brushing their teeth. Maximum points for dad!

The media is certainly giving the impression that something is afoot in the hood we call father. Just two years ago, Netmums revealed that nine out of ten parents felt TV dads do not reflect the contribution that fathers actually make to family life.

For both men and women to truly 'have it all' we need flexibility in the way we work so that we can take better care of our own needs and those of our children. This is vital not only to help prevent burnout of the workforce but also to prevent the burnout of our children.

Dads often suffer a crisis of masculinity, particularly stay-at-home dads who rely on their partner as the breadwinner, finding themselves reluctant to ask for money from the partner, which goes against their natural instinct as a male, to be able to provide, to be self-sufficient and a role model to their child.

Maternal amnesia is a wonderful thing. I'd forgotten all about tantrums. Even convinced myself that my first two children had sailed peacefully through their twos. Until this morning, when my third baby had his first proper tantrum. And it all came flooding back.

I'm annoyed that in this day and age, there are still children out there that have to watch helplessly as their relationship with their father is disrupted, interfered with or even permanently severed just because someone is angry, resentful and vengeful.

Witnessing the lives of men in London, it seems to me that many of them (many of us) are holding onto a destructive, warped and conditioned view of what happiness really is. A view that being masculine means you have to act, speak and behave in a certain way.

In just a few months from now some new dads will have more options in how they use their parental leave. The new scheme will allow parents to share leave after their child is born, allowing more mothers to return to work - but the question is how many dads will take this leave?

These tips include advice I was given, and things I learned the hard way while my son Hugo was being cared for. Having a baby in a neonatal unit is so stressful - I hope this helps other mummies and daddies.

I remember the excitement I felt seeing that little blue cross in the small square window of my pregnancy test. It seemed surreal. I was 27 years old and pregnant with my first son. I couldn't wait to share the news with my husband but I wanted to find the perfect way to tell him. We both wanted a baby but I sensed that, like many men, he still didn't feel 'ready'.

You actually called yourself a Feminist the other day and I couldn't have been more surprised or prouder. I asked you if you'd refer to yourself as a Feminist and you said "Yes I'm a Feminist- unreservedly. As a proselytising libertarian, I believe in freedom, equality and the rights of all men, which includes women". I thought- wow, that's my dad. The Feminist. My hero.

Postnatal depression affects fathers too. It's a fact, it's been researched, professionals working in mental health and in medicine agree that it exists, and I've spoken to many sufferers over the past year...but what are we going to do about it?

I have never seen any dads in the hub. Not even partners. The hub is usually a child-free zone too, a place of mothers in conversation while their children fend for themselves. This day there were lots of crying and distressed pre-school children who needed the attention of scattered lone parents, before their actual parent in the hub noticed.