Thanks Ana, yes,...that's helpful. I'm guessing only about 15-20 guests for me. I never thought of allocating a different account for savings (duh) I'll start that ASAP. And maybe I will consider a second part time job. (I'm already a parent/work full time/go to school). So I have to watch the burn out. If anything, I'm going to go on a mission to have the cheapest, most amazing wedding ever then post all about it here! Motivation? Yes!

I'm older too (37), so realism of life has really set in. Affordability is first and foremost.

When I travel now, I usually do it for $600-$700 all inclusive - including flight from Toronto. So paying these prices booking ahead is painful. I'm a super duper discount traveller, and I really stress about my guests paying so much to attend my wedding. Thanks again

What really matters is not a glamourous wedding with lots of guests and glitz. It's about you and your husband. In my earlier years and when I was planning my first wedding, I was thinking the "glitz and glamour." Thank God I walked away prior to that wedding. But when I married the man of my dreams 7/1/13, I wanted it as small and intimate as possible so we could focus on each other and not all our guests. We spent $15k which included literally...everything down to some clothes we purchased to wear while in Jamaica, excursions, etc. We only had 8 guests. Not many family members could afford to go or had children. Our resort was adult only and took a group vote asking people, with kids, who was planning to go. I'm assuming the people who are paying mucho bucks make a lot of money ....and lucky them!! I would not get another job in order to afford a wedding unless I was really broke. You are already busy with work, parenting and school. We made payments as the year progressed. I signed up with Destination Weddings who coordinated travel plans and initial contact with the resort wedding department. Cindy Watty (our travel agent through Travel Impressions) did an amazing job! She made my life so easy. We paid for the airline tickets up front, put $100 deposit on the resort to hold the date and made payments over the course of the year. It was nonstressful and seamless process.

**YOU MAY MAKE PAYMENTS TOWARDS YOUR RESORT COSTS** Please continue reading..... Here's the link as mentioned in my above post. https://www.destinationweddings.com/ You pay $50 for the service. A travel agent is assigned to you. You are provided a website to send "Save the Dates" via email or by mail. You can set up Wedding Registry and manage your Guest List. The travel agent will make initial contact with your resort and by the "go to" person throughout your planning process with questions outside the wedding planning. Cindy Watty was my travel agent. She works for Travel Impressions but is part of Destination Weddings. I'm telling you....she was amazing!!! Over the course of a year, I made monthly payments to her for the resort costs. There is an initial $100 to reserve your date with the resort and airline tickets are paid in full at time of booking. All else, payments are accepted which makes life easier!! Cindy sent many travel tips regarding money exchange, protecting your items and even sent a really cute travel pack included suitcase tags. She was very thorough!

I agree, I'm totally freaked out reading this post. I'm wondering if I live in a bubble? I totally was thinking I could do the whole thing for 5 grand. I know I can get our all inclusive week (7 days) for about $2200 for both of us. Then pay $1000 for a basic wedding package. Add a dress, small items and a few extras. I'm getting married at home first (justice of the peace) I can't handle the stress of paperwork.

I'm looking at Cuba - the prices are 1/4 of other countries. I realize there is little, if any info on Cuba weddings here, ......but I'm banking on my bubble being real! Pun intended.

What I'm curious about...how on EARTH to people afford this? What do people do for jobs? I just don't get it. I don't want any debt. We don't have any family pitching in for costs. Is everyone just OK with paying this off for years and years? If I can't pay for it all upfront I won't do it.

Sigh. Feeling kinda sad now......I thought a Destination Wedding was the cheaper way to go. Perhaps I was wrong...

I paid for my own wedding and I still wonder how other people paid for theirs lol. I am one of the brides who worked three jobs. I know, I am nuts but I have different life circumstances than you- no school and no kids and I am a HS teacher so that means nights and weekends were free. I really only took the second job bc I insisted on having an AHR- now what I am about to say will sound a little foul and I am not at all materialistic- but from a financial standpoint- it was a pretty bad investment. We got back $2,500 in gifts on an AHR where we spent $15,000. I don't mean to sound harsh, but the people who came with us to DR- I didn't expect anything from them- however the people who came to the AHR, while I knew I would not break even, I expected gifts, sure. As one friend put it- your wedding should be your first financial windfall. He spent nothing on his because the brides parents paid and he made $35,000 back in gifts and they bought a house. Surely it was because the "AHR" people considered just a party- but I sent out formal invitations, paid a DJ, paid for decor, and paid a catering hall. What we got back wasn't even enough to cover the cost of the DJ. I had friends I've known for years- been to their weddings and given generously, give absolutely nothing. Luckily I prepared myself in advance for this and I'm not upset, I'm actually just surprised.

Why the AHR? Because our DJ who I paid a $1,800 deposit to when we were not having a destination wedding, would not refund our money. It was a lot to lose so I planed the AHR around the DJ, especially when I saw the guest list to our DW dwindle- coupled with the pressure my family put on me to have something for my guests who couldn't attend (btw just putting it out there that all those same family members DID NOT attend the AHR- they went to neither party). I'm not going to say I totally regret it because I had a blast and I got to wear my dress again and share moments from my DW- but our phone with all our honeymoon pics was stolen- yes stolen- and it was simply too much money!

If I had it to do again- I would have just stuck with the DW and not had an AHR. Our total on both was $35,000- $20,000 for DW and $15,000 AHR. And we paid for it on our own. We made a separate wedding savings account and mid-month I transferred $1,000 from our checking accounts, at the end of the month, I would wait until all our bills- rent, car, insurance, phones etc, were paid and I would transfer what was left over the day before we got paid again- usually it would be $200-$500 which meant I saved $1,500 a month. My husband and I have the same income and its not a lot but we were super stringent. Then I added the two jobs- I am a HS teacher so twice a week for one hour, I tutored kids and I also did test prep at my school on Saturdays for 3 hours each Saturday over the course of 16 weeks. I bartended 3-4 nights a week. The bartending is what paid for the AHR- so if I hadn't had one, there'd be no need for that job. My husband was against the AHR and I insisted and he said "Our money isn't going to the AHR if you want it so badly pay for it on your own" Challenge accepted. He was upset I took the bartending job- he didn't think I would, but you cannot challenge a Puerto Rican woman.

I say 15k is a reasonable budget- but if we wanted to stay within that, we needed to have it at a different resort. We chose Paradisus and they are more expensive than most resorts and their outside vendor fees are astronomical- so we budgeted $20,000 to accommodate.

It took us a year and a half- we extended the engagement to be able to save- that is another thing to consider if you are at the very beginning and haven't selected a date. But we didn't use our credit cards, we didn't take out a loan, and we didn't borrow from anyone- although a few people volunteered in case we needed it. So for all the tired feet, headaches, and pain- it was worth it because now we can save for our home.

And yes- I'm still bartending- because I am a teacher free for the summer and if I took a second and third job to pay for a wedding? I can definitely do it to pay for a house. New goal!

My thinking about AHR's is... if you cant sacrifice your yearly or one of your two times a year vacation to attend my wedding THEN, I have no interest to celebrate with you. We will sure have fun with whomever can make it. I am not having two expenses so others can come, eat and drink at my expense.

Originally Posted by EVKnowsitall

I paid for my own wedding and I still wonder how other people paid for theirs lol. I am one of the brides who worked three jobs. I know, I am nuts but I have different life circumstances than you- no school and no kids and I am a HS teacher so that means nights and weekends were free. I really only took the second job bc I insisted on having an AHR- now what I am about to say will sound a little foul and I am not at all materialistic- but from a financial standpoint- it was a pretty bad investment. We got back $2,500 in gifts on an AHR where we spent $15,000. I don't mean to sound harsh, but the people who came with us to DR- I didn't expect anything from them- however the people who came to the AHR, while I knew I would not break even, I expected gifts, sure. As one friend put it- your wedding should be your first financial windfall. He spent nothing on his because the brides parents paid and he made $35,000 back in gifts and they bought a house. Surely it was because the "AHR" people considered just a party- but I sent out formal invitations, paid a DJ, paid for decor, and paid a catering hall. What we got back wasn't even enough to cover the cost of the DJ. I had friends I've known for years- been to their weddings and given generously, give absolutely nothing. Luckily I prepared myself in advance for this and I'm not upset, I'm actually just surprised.

Why the AHR? Because our DJ who I paid a $1,800 deposit to when we were not having a destination wedding, would not refund our money. It was a lot to lose so I planed the AHR around the DJ, especially when I saw the guest list to our DW dwindle- coupled with the pressure my family put on me to have something for my guests who couldn't attend (btw just putting it out there that all those same family members DID NOT attend the AHR- they went to neither party). I'm not going to say I totally regret it because I had a blast and I got to wear my dress again and share moments from my DW- but our phone with all our honeymoon pics was stolen- yes stolen- and it was simply too much money!

If I had it to do again- I would have just stuck with the DW and not had an AHR. Our total on both was $35,000- $20,000 for DW and $15,000 AHR. And we paid for it on our own. We made a separate wedding savings account and mid-month I transferred $1,000 from our checking accounts, at the end of the month, I would wait until all our bills- rent, car, insurance, phones etc, were paid and I would transfer what was left over the day before we got paid again- usually it would be $200-$500 which meant I saved $1,500 a month. My husband and I have the same income and its not a lot but we were super stringent. Then I added the two jobs- I am a HS teacher so twice a week for one hour, I tutored kids and I also did test prep at my school on Saturdays for 3 hours each Saturday over the course of 16 weeks. I bartended 3-4 nights a week. The bartending is what paid for the AHR- so if I hadn't had one, there'd be no need for that job. My husband was against the AHR and I insisted and he said "Our money isn't going to the AHR if you want it so badly pay for it on your own" Challenge accepted. He was upset I took the bartending job- he didn't think I would, but you cannot challenge a Puerto Rican woman.

I say 15k is a reasonable budget- but if we wanted to stay within that, we needed to have it at a different resort. We chose Paradisus and they are more expensive than most resorts and their outside vendor fees are astronomical- so we budgeted $20,000 to accommodate.

It took us a year and a half- we extended the engagement to be able to save- that is another thing to consider if you are at the very beginning and haven't selected a date. But we didn't use our credit cards, we didn't take out a loan, and we didn't borrow from anyone- although a few people volunteered in case we needed it. So for all the tired feet, headaches, and pain- it was worth it because now we can save for our home.

And yes- I'm still bartending- because I am a teacher free for the summer and if I took a second and third job to pay for a wedding? I can definitely do it to pay for a house. New goal!

While my family is helping us a bit (3k+ paying for my siblings to attend) his family is unable to do so, so the cost largely falls on us. I work in Marketing and my Fiance is in insurance so while were by no means wealthy were able to take on some of these costs. We are keeping our wedding fairly inexpensive (about 10K including vacation too) but where we really want to spend our money is the honeymoon. Were traveling to Europe 6mos after our wedding - so a total of three weeks worth of celebration. Were budgeting probably close to at least another 10-15K for that portion but splitting the time up makes it cheaper.

A few cost-saving things we did:

SKIP the DJ, our package came with 45min of a live musician and we can hit the clubs afterward...for free! Were only a group of 22-24 anyway

MINIMIZE decor - yep no runners or anything like that- I wanted simple /elegant flowers. By the time you figure in traveling costs to tote your own things to Mexico you could have just went with flowers.Were also having them move the included package flowers from the pews in our chapel onto our tables to save money!

BUY a NICE suit- Skip renting a tux ..buy a nice black suit for the same price. He has a nice new suit to keep too!

SHOP around- I loved ebay, VistaPrint, Etsy, and Retailmenot.com. When it came to my dress I called several bridal places to get the best rate on my style (write down numbers and designer for this purpose) & I even asked for the off the rack price (despite not getting it off rack) and they said ok! The worst they can say is no right?

Have an Informal Gathering- the night before the wedding we are instructing everyone to meet us for a welcome party at the sugar reef bar. We will give out our Survival Kits and while it won't be private it will be 100% absolutely free ...including all of your free drinks (were having our wedding at an all-inclusive)

We did a lot of other things too to save money too. I only really tackled one DIY project because I have a pretty packed schedule - but I did put together some OOT Wedding Survival Kits (not doing an entire OOT Bag) that I will give out the day prior.

I have seen that people count their engagement ring on the wedding cost, I wouldn't since the ring came before planning the wedding, it came from my FH saving his sweet money, and I don't even know the cost of it, I know my fiance mentioned that if we were to include the cost our budget would be out of control right now.

We are not having an AHR since we already had a very big engagement party and invited every family member and friend, we also invited the same people to the wedding soo whomever cant make the wedding, we already celebrated with.

I heard some people count their engagement ring towards their wedding budget, but like you I don't. I have no idea how much it cost to be honest and it comes before the wedding so it doesn't totally make sense to me, plus like you said my FI saved and bought it on his own. The wedding we are paying for together.

I heard some people count their engagement ring towards their wedding budget, but like you I don't. I have no idea how much it cost to be honest and it comes before the wedding so it doesn't totally make sense to me, plus like you said my FI saved and bought it on his own. The wedding we are paying for together.

Completely agree- I did include cost of wedding bands but certainly not engagement ring. I never really asked my fiance about the wedding ring cost, I have seen insurance papers so I have an idea but I still would never say anything. It's what he wanted to buy you, not what you wanted to buy yourself.

Yeah, I saw the insurance paper work and I almost fainted. Do you own a house? if so, are you adding your ring to the house insurance? I heard this is something that you do to protect the ring in case of a fire, theft, etc?

Originally Posted by Sehausle

Completely agree- I did include cost of wedding bands but certainly not engagement ring. I never really asked my fiance about the wedding ring cost, I have seen insurance papers so I have an idea but I still would never say anything. It's what he wanted to buy you, not what you wanted to buy yourself.

Completely agree- I did include cost of wedding bands but certainly not engagement ring. I never really asked my fiance about the wedding ring cost, I have seen insurance papers so I have an idea but I still would never say anything. It's what he wanted to buy you, not what you wanted to buy yourself.

Same here. I included cost of wedding bands in our budget, but definitely not engagement ring. I told my fiance I don't want to know what it cost, but to make sure he dealt with insurance and kept the papers (and copies of!) somewhere safe.