Technically, the royal baby drum began faintly rolling in the fall of 2012. Tabloids declared Kate had a baby bump (though perhaps it was photoshopped?) and that she was pregnant with twins. The official announcement came in December. Severe morning sickness forced the Duchess of Cambridge to check into a London hospital, at which point she and Prince William decided to go public with their news: Oneheirling on its way.Watch this space.

Meanwhile, Parliament changed the rules of succession to make sure a female baby could still inherit the throne from her father. Bookmakers pulled in hundreds of thousands of dollars in bets on the kid’s future career. (Um, monarch?) Collectibles sprang up like mushrooms. The frenzy was estimated to generate up to $400 million for the British economy (though our own Matt Yglesias remained skeptical) and coverage in the English press was so ubiquitous that the Guardian allowed readers the option to hide royal baby news on its website. (To everyone’s delight, a BBC reporter would occasionally express his weariness at the baby beat on camera.) Outside the United Kingdom, former Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard was photographed knitting the infant-to-be a kangaroo; Canadians held baby showers; and Barneys in New York City started selling “royal baby” blankets, baskets, and babygros. No tie-in was too tenuous, no angle too oblique. “Good Morning America recently gave ‘royal makeovers’ to three women due to give birth at the same time as Kate, while the U.S. show Today invited an animal behavior expert onto live TV to give Kate tips on how to introduce her newborn to Lupo, her dog,” reported the Telegraph in June.

And then, finally, his Royal Highness Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge was born at 4:24 pm on July 22, 2013. He was 8 pounds, 6 ounces. He was healthy. And of course, we promptly forgot all about him. You see, people don’t actually care about babies; they care about princesses’ pregnant bodies and judging the ways different couples prepare for parenthood. The kid is just an accessory until it’s time to freak out because he wore a Nazi costume to a Halloween party. Welcome to the world, George!