If I had cancer and I was on my deathbed, seeing the world erode milllions of stupid little humans off its skin would really put a smile on my face. Just walking through Downtown with ash twisting around me and skeletons on the ground... it'd be strange but it would feel right. Because the way we're going, pushing towards our own ending, that's the only way the third act of this world could end. (Or something like that.)

In terms of my favoured apocalypse, the world getting eaten by an enormous space squirrel who mistook us for some sort of stellar nut sounds quite fun. What I'd do while the Squirrel of Doom approached... dull things, really. Try the drugs that I haven't dared to. Play some guitar. Shag. Eat. Pretty much run of the mill sensual pleasures, really.

My choice is Robots Gone Wild. They realize that their creator-race is a bunch of fuckups and get together to develop a master plan to fix the planet. Which unfortunately involves a lot of human-killing. Maybe they could look like the robots on the Game Station in the New Doctor Who series 2 finale.

"You are the weakest link. Goodbye" - Anne Droid

And I'd be trying to look like a good, useful human, until I spotted a flaw in their plan and probably got myself killed being a smartass to the robots. Better a smartass than a dumbass.

If I discover the Apocalypse is on its way, I'm heading to Manhattan and pulling a Spider Jerusalem. I'm going to strip off all my clothes and go running down the street on top of cars - with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other.

I dunno, anything to significantly reduce the population to a manageable few handfuls spread across the world. I'm not big on causing a lot of pain, so maybe just mass spontaneous human combustion or an utterly random Loki-esque rapture style event where everybody is just whisked away. That way I can either be one of the survivors and be cool or not and I wont care.

I would like to see Cthulhu and Azathoth return with all the Great Old Ones, and for them to totally annihilate the earth. This would leave the remaining dregs of the human species to be kept for meat by the blind flute playing goatherds of Shub-Niggurath.

Choice A: Zombies. I love zombies. According to some internet survey thing I took, I'd survive a zombie apocalypse. So would my wife, so that's nice. One of our friends would not, so we agreed we'll keep him alive, until he becomes a burden.Choice B: Nuclear. Somewhere between the PC game Fallout and Michael Haneke's Time of the Wolf would be nice, I think.