'That Sucks'

Friday, September 23, 2016 / 3:54 PM

There's an episode of Parks and Rec where a pregnant Ann is hiding from Chris because she wants to complain and vent, but every time she does, he immediately jumps into problem-solving mode. She ends up finding temporary refuge in some of the office gang who get together semi-regularly to vent, and she says: "You know what my biggest complaint is? I have a million things I need to complain about, and I can't take them home because Chris is the most considerate person in the world, and he just wants to help me, and then I feel bad about that, and then I get annoyed that he wants to help me, and I feel even worse about that!"

It's selfish, arguably, but I think we've all been there: sometimes, when life dumps a pile of lemons on you, you want to just roll around and cry for an hour before jumping into action mode. You want someone to agree with you that, yes, the situation sucks, but it's OK that you're acting like a 5-year-old right now. Because you know it's not a moment of pride to be a ranting, raving puddle, but damnit, you want someone to tell you it's fine for that one moment.

Because, chances are, once the anger, hurt, and frustration subsides, rationality will kick in and you'll calm down or you'll be ready to hear a voice of reason. Nobody wants to be told in the first 30 seconds of a rant that they're being dramatic (even if they are).

The other night I was feeling particularly low about something and sent a string of text message rants to my best friend. Her response was a sad face emoji and an agreement that the situation sucks and that me feeling like crap was justified. Instantly, I felt better. Like I wasn't crazy or dumb for being mad about something that could've been seen as "small" or "insignificant," because she understood that my frustration was tied to a larger problem I had been struggling to voice for some time. Now, 48 hours removed from that moment, I can look back and say, "You know what, it'll be OK."