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Topic: Self Centered in the workplace... (Read 18714 times)

This isn't a matter of her working through her lunch, since OP states that the meeting starts at 1pm and the coworker obviously had a break during which she went to purchase the food. Everyone else OP works with manages their time effectively enough that they don't need to eat an entire meal during a meeting, and coworker had been spoken to about it and refuses to stop.

I would be ticked off by the distraction someone eating lunch provides, especially since fast food bags aren't exactly quiet. It shows a lack of respect for everyone attending the meeting.

This isn't a matter of her working through her lunch, since OP states that the meeting starts at 1pm and the coworker obviously had a break during which she went to purchase the food. Everyone else OP works with manages their time effectively enough that they don't need to eat an entire meal during a meeting, and coworker had been spoken to about it and refuses to stop.

I would be ticked off by the distraction someone eating lunch provides, especially since fast food bags aren't exactly quiet. It shows a lack of respect for everyone attending the meeting.

This is true if, in fact, she does get a lunch break before the meeting.

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Need to Change

But sometimes, even in the same workplace, not all lunch breaks are created equal. Employees who most directly work with the public may not be allowed to eat at their desks, for example. Also, I've known too many direct supervisors who insist on a working lunch, or none at all, until a certain task is complete -- and, for various reasons beyond a worker's control, the task cannot be completed earlier in the day.

If this is the case, it's also normal and understandable that even the most reasonable co-workers may be oblivious to this one person's situation.

I don't know the food or food storage situation in this workplace, but perhaps she only gets enough time to pick up lunch, but not to eat it.

All that said ... once again, she's handling it badly. Is she whiny in other areas, or just this one?

But IF she's in a genuine tough spot, is there any way the meeting time be moved back to 1:30 or so?

It could be that she picks up something very quickly - I could get fast food before a meeting in 10 minutes or less, and some workplaces it may be less than that.

If she is allowed to take a lunch before the meeting, her superior should tell her to do that, so she won't be hungry during the meeting. If she is not allowed (say, she has to cover while everyone else grabs lunch), she has to eat sometime, and the meeting should be moved, or she should be allowed to eat.

I actually feel like tantrumming when my blood sugar gets low. If I were told I had to work until two or later without being allowed to have lunch, one might notice me getting a little waspish.

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My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

There was a commercial for some heat up lunch item that showed two young lawyers taking a quick lunch before the client arrived. The young man dashed off to a street vendor, sweated, hectic, and rushes back in as an older professional walks in. The young woman calmly strolls to the office kitchen and casually looks at a magazine as her lunch heats up in the microwave. She polishes off the last bite as the older professional and the young man appear at the door."Oh, good, you are both here. The client arrived early and you are both here. Let's go!"The young man is all disheveled, yet the woman who had the advertised heat and eat item was cool, calm, collected, and ready.

All that to say, rushing off to grab fast food when you know you have a late lunch time meeting is poor planning. Keep back-ups in your desk, pack a lunch, plan ahead. Once is ok, but every time? Annoying, and apparently looks bad, also. Plus, McD's has a strong smell.

This isn't a matter of her working through her lunch, since OP states that the meeting starts at 1pm and the coworker obviously had a break during which she went to purchase the food. Everyone else OP works with manages their time effectively enough that they don't need to eat an entire meal during a meeting, and coworker had been spoken to about it and refuses to stop.

I would be ticked off by the distraction someone eating lunch provides, especially since fast food bags aren't exactly quiet. It shows a lack of respect for everyone attending the meeting.

OP here....this is exactly what I was meaning.

I gave the 1pm meeting time, to indicate that the meeting took place after lunch. If meetings go from 11-1pm, lunch would be included and encouraged. When the meeting starts after the lunch hour, and the other 9 people used their lunch hour to eat and do what they needed too, then McSpecialPants should too.

It's one thing to show up to a meeting and needing to eat, it's an entirely different thing to hear the constant rattle rattle of the bag, the fast food scent wafting through the board room. Oh and the occasional slurpppppppp from her ice cubes in her coke that she drank too quickly.

It would be different if someone was having a discrete snack - or if someone truly needed to eat. I am convinced that she does this so that she isn't bored during the movies. Also, if someone was truly running late that day and needed to eat, in my experience they are as discreet as possible and apologetic too. With McSpecialPants, it's now a habit, and we all race to sit together so we don't have to be right beside her during the meeting.

I see nothing at all wrong with anyone having a nibble or quietly munching on an almond or something.

Sorry for the jab at only children....I didn't think that through clearly. My apologies if I have offended anyone.

It's one thing to show up to a meeting and needing to eat, it's an entirely different thing to hear the constant rattle rattle of the bag, the fast food scent wafting through the board room. Oh and the occasional slurpppppppp from her ice cubes in her coke that she drank too quickly.

It sounds like McSlurpy is a peer, not a subordinate. Talk to your manager about the distraction of her eating during the meetings. If your manager isn't bothered by McSlurpy or is bothered and won't do anything about it, you have two choices:

1. Say nothing to McSlurpy and deal with it as best you can.2. Privately with a firm but polite voice tell McSlurpy that her eating in the meetings is a distraction for you. Ask her to refrain from eating her lunch during that time.

You can't force her to stop eating during meetings, but a polite and firm request may get her to stop. Has anyone taken her aside and asked her to stop eating at meetings? Or does the office just complain about it behind her back?

As to the working together, I would do what you posted in your OP. Each of you is responsible for a portion of the project. I would avoid actually working together at all costs. She sounds like the type of person that would let you do all the work and take most of the credit.

~OT general board question~ Since when did it become acceptable to only drink water during meetings? We drink water (and tons of Gatorade) because we work outside and are thirsty. A meeting is time to sit inside in the A/C (or heat) and enjoy a coffee or soft drink. Are people actually looked down on for drinking something other than water? ~OT

~OT general board question~ Since when did it become acceptable to only drink water during meetings? We drink water (and tons of Gatorade) because we work outside and are thirsty. A meeting is time to sit inside in the A/C (or heat) and enjoy a coffee or soft drink. Are people actually looked down on for drinking something other than water? ~OT

It sure didn't become unacceptable to drink coffee at a meeting anywhere in my universe. We practically hook up IVs of the stuff. And the non-coffee-drinkers tend to drink tea.

~OT general board question~ Since when did it become acceptable to only drink water during meetings? We drink water (and tons of Gatorade) because we work outside and are thirsty. A meeting is time to sit inside in the A/C (or heat) and enjoy a coffee or soft drink. Are people actually looked down on for drinking something other than water? ~OT

It sure didn't become unacceptable to drink coffee at a meeting anywhere in my universe. We practically hook up IVs of the stuff. And the non-coffee-drinkers tend to drink tea.

I think it's just another different work culture. For some of us, eating in meetings is normal (at my company, a meeting that you aren't leading is often the only possible time to grab a bite!) and some of us refrain from anything outside of water in a meeting.

~OT general board question~ Since when did it become acceptable to only drink water during meetings? We drink water (and tons of Gatorade) because we work outside and are thirsty. A meeting is time to sit inside in the A/C (or heat) and enjoy a coffee or soft drink. Are people actually looked down on for drinking something other than water? ~OT

It sure didn't become unacceptable to drink coffee at a meeting anywhere in my universe. We practically hook up IVs of the stuff. And the non-coffee-drinkers tend to drink tea.

I think it's just another different work culture. For some of us, eating in meetings is normal (at my company, a meeting that you aren't leading is often the only possible time to grab a bite!) and some of us refrain from anything outside of water in a meeting.

I'd think that even if eating weren't permitted, though, what harm is done by drinking a different beverage? Even working in an office where people eat in meetings, I can see the argument that eating is disruptive. But I can't quite wrap my head around drinking coffee being more disruptive than drinking water.

~OT general board question~ Since when did it become acceptable to only drink water during meetings? We drink water (and tons of Gatorade) because we work outside and are thirsty. A meeting is time to sit inside in the A/C (or heat) and enjoy a coffee or soft drink. Are people actually looked down on for drinking something other than water? ~OT

It sure didn't become unacceptable to drink coffee at a meeting anywhere in my universe. We practically hook up IVs of the stuff. And the non-coffee-drinkers tend to drink tea.

I think it's just another different work culture. For some of us, eating in meetings is normal (at my company, a meeting that you aren't leading is often the only possible time to grab a bite!) and some of us refrain from anything outside of water in a meeting.

I'd think that even if eating weren't permitted, though, what harm is done by drinking a different beverage? Even working in an office where people eat in meetings, I can see the argument that eating is disruptive. But I can't quite wrap my head around drinking coffee being more disruptive than drinking water.

I'm reading 'sipping water' as shorthand for 'anything other than a large fountain drink being slurped noisily'...like water, coffee, tea, juice, whatever can be consumed quietly.

I worked with a very self centered person in the past, snugasabug, and can commiserate with you.

She tended to sit and do paperwork during meetings as a bit of a power play, I think. I believe that she did this to show our supervisor that she didn't feel that the meetings were important, or that the supervisor's directives were important.

Perhaps your co worker is consciously or subconsciously showing everyone that she doesn't have to follow the same rules as everyone else does, when she eats at the meetings.

My co worker also used tears and other manipulative devices to further herself to the detriment of others.

The best way for me to deal with her was to distance myself as much as possible, and to remain very polite. She changed jobs, finally, when the supervisors started documenting some of her behaviors.

~OT general board question~ Since when did it become acceptable to only drink water during meetings? We drink water (and tons of Gatorade) because we work outside and are thirsty. A meeting is time to sit inside in the A/C (or heat) and enjoy a coffee or soft drink. Are people actually looked down on for drinking something other than water? ~OT

It sure didn't become unacceptable to drink coffee at a meeting anywhere in my universe. We practically hook up IVs of the stuff. And the non-coffee-drinkers tend to drink tea.

We always have tea, coffee and water at meetings. In fact, on one occasion when the drinks I'd ordered didn't show up, a two-hour meeting was abruptly halted after twenty minutes. Never deny our managers their coffee.

I worked with a very self centered person in the past, snugasabug, and can commiserate with you.

She tended to sit and do paperwork during meetings as a bit of a power play, I think. I believe that she did this to show our supervisor that she didn't feel that the meetings were important, or that the supervisor's directives were important.

This is possible, but I will admit I often use meetings to catch up on paperwork because it is literally not possible to do my job in the hours I'm alloted. So, I can either use that time to multitask, or not attend many meetings. I'm saying this just as a caution that not everyone is doing it to be "special".

I think in this case, either her supervisor can choose to handle it, or you can accept that she's rude and unlikely to change.