: : : : : : The Town Council has granted Sheriff Benton (just call me Bent) Twigg a temporary Leaf of Absence so that he may attend to family business. During his absence, the office will be filled by Acting Sheriff Dweebie Day-Lewis.

: : : : : : Dweebie has announced that during his tenure as Acting Sheriff, he may be reached at the Sheriff's Office between the hours of 10:00 a.m. and noon and 2:00 P.M. to 3:00 P.M. Monday through Friday, unless the weather is bad, in which event the office will open later in the day unless he goes fishing that day, in which event he will probably be back the next morning. On weekends, he may be reached at Bumppo's Tavern, except for Saturday night, when he regularly attends Doctor Mary's much-touted Ladies' Night at Fort William Henry as a civic duty and is unlikely to be available again until Monday morning.

: : : : : : At Sheriff Twigg's request, The Town Council is requesting that all citizens maintain a reasonable degree of decorum during his absence and refrain from:

: : : : : : a. roasting each other over bonfires and starting riots in the Town Square

: : : : : : b. dancing naked through the field of lilies behind the Town Library

: : I beg your pardon Gnomie. But WHO needs a libido lobotomy? I was talking about freedon of expression here. But you wouldn`t know what that means. You who live your lives playing follow the leader! By the way, how is Pappy Smurf?

: : OOOOOOOOhhhh. Do I sense a little gallic anger being directed my way? Is that garlic I smell on the breeze? Let's see....all the little frogs and toads are running away and hiding....yup! Must be a frenchie around here somewheres.

: Ya know, one of these days I am gonna have to get with Town Crier and publish a book on the different kinds of wee folks. What's this pappy smurf garbage. Smurfs don't even exist except in cartoons. What gnomes are NOT: we are not trolls, leprechauns, faeries, smurfs, dwarfs, goblins, ghouls, redcaps or anything else but gnomes. What gnomes ARE: cute, industrious, lovable, nocturnal, faithful, kind, loving animals (except dogs - I hate dogs), helping mankind in the shadows, and aiding mother nature in keeping things right in the forests, gardens, hills and valleys.

: Clear it up any froggie?

: Gnome Dome

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Kick dirt, BillyG., kick dirt! C'mon! Give it to 'im good with the clods!