We’re here today to shine a good light on yet another F subject that is often overlooked, disparaged, undervalued, and sometimes even stepped on* by accident. Yes: frogs are for the most part what one might consider gross. No doubt their wild, unpredictable hopping can be unsettling. And yes, some are so butt ugly they may make you want to vomit. They have the dubious distinction of being on the short list of animals that have been used as Plagues.

But you know what? Frogs are also pretty awesome. A vastly underrated species if you ask me.

Let’s celebrate our amphibian friends by pointing out some of their more flattering features.

FANCY FROGS

Holy cow have you seen some of these poison dart frogs? These crazy-colorful beauties that mostly live in Central and South America got their name from the heyday of when people were using the frogs’ poison in their blowdarts** to settle various scores.

Have a look at some of these punams! But don’t touch, lest you end up looking like Martin Short in whatever terrible 80s movie that was with Danny Glover when he gets stung by all those bees.

Cobalt Dart Frog

The Green & Black Poison Dart Frog, highly dangerous due to its striking resemblance to a delicious Andes Mint.

Golden Poison Dart Frog, beautiful yet deadly.

The Leucomelas

The Lovely Poison Frog, which are deemed dangerous presumably because of how much they appear to be made of chocolate.

We all know about Kermit, the hardest working frog in showbiz, but there are many other frogs that have contributed greatly to society. I don’t know about you, but there are so many frogs that played an important role in my childhood. Of course there were the Battletoads (toads are actually frogs***) of Nintendo and then later on Super Nintendo fame, who taught me so much about what it is to fail, and how to fight hard to overcome adversity. There’s Michigan J. Frog, who’s been a classy, theatrical ambassador for frogs since 1955, when he began starring alongside the likes of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig. And who could forget their first time on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride at Disney World? Mr. Toad and his zany attraction gave us the valuable life wisdom that sometimes the greatest things in life may indeed cause you to explosively barf.

FRIENDLY FROGS

Frogs are highly sought after as pets and beloved around the world thanks to their even, gentle temperament. They are rightfully well regarded as peaceful, thoughtful creatures. I can’t recall even one incident of a frog ever lashing out, or callously putting others at risk by drunkenly drag racing in Miami Beach.

FINAL FROG THOUGHTS

I’d like to close by reaffirming the tremendous amount of respect the F community has for our frog brethren. They may be a bit gross and also loud sometimes, and apparently some like to eat their own skin upon its shedding, but I can’t think of a more worthy F creature than the noble frog. They eat bugs, play a crucial role in the environment, bring joy to the masses through their various antics and entertainment roles, and they pretty much mind their own business. What better model citizens are there?

From here forward, I pledge to do my best to swerve away whenever I see a frog in the street. I am happy to leave them to their aquatic devices and root for them as they carry on consuming bugs.

So hop safely my friends, and may you prosper as you do whatever it is frogs do.

*Preventable frog deaths and senseless frog maimings skyrocketed after Aussie rockers Silverchair released their anti-amphibian opus Frogstomp in 1995. The album may have been magnificent, but TMF strongly denounces the anti-frog sentiment it promoted.

** It’s always been a dream of mine to take down a rival via a precision poison-tipped dart from a blowgun.