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Healthy Relationships

I was thinking at lunch today about how being in a healthy relationship is like finding a needle in a haystack, literally. It is so rare nowadays, with so many people breaking up and hopping from one relationship to another that it makes you wonder what’s the point to even being in a relationship. You start thinking to yourself this is not a person I would want to spend the rest of my life with, then the dreadful arguments begin. The funny thing is, a lot of people think arguments and stress in a relationship are normal. That blows my mind. If that’s the case, how can we determine whether or not we are in an unhealthy relationship?

I made a list of things that I would want in partner so I would know it’s a healthy relationship.

Trust and Honesty

Support

Good Communication

Respect

Intimacy

Enjoying Each Other’s Company

I feel dejected after reading this list. It seems like a tall order to find. Did I leave anything out?

Your list is short compared to mine. I have at least 20 things, and just when I think a guy seems to have a lot of the characteristics I’m looking for, he goes and shows how much of a douche bag he is! lol I actually live in a town in the midwest–about 50,000 people, and internet dating is hard because there isn’t a large pool to choose from, even if you include cities a couple of hours away. A couple of my friends have managed to find guys who seem really nice and treat them well, but I haven’t had much luck. I am looking for dates in a pool of guys, in their early 40’s, some of whom have been married twice already, and are usually looking only for a hook-up and nothing long-term. If I wanted a hook-up, I would take up the 20-somethings on their numerous offers! At least the 20 year olds come right out and tell you they’re looking for sex and don’t try to pretend they want a relationship. I vacillate–my profile is currently hidden on the POF (Plenty of Freaks). I wait awhile, I get back on, I think there must be a guy out there looking for a gal like me. . . I don’t want to give up hope, but the situation seems hopeless. I think there are very few good men on online dating sites. I wish just one would prove me wrong, but it hasn’t happened yet. 🙂

My list is pretty similar to yours, in fact, I can’t think of anything I would add. After finding that in someone, and them tossing me to the curb, I too feel dejected. I just need a break. I don’t know whats worse, being alone in ignorant bliss, or being reminded you aren’t good enough for someone, and still being alone.