I do hope that RA hasn’t come to define my life, but I when Robin at The Truth About JRA asked me about a medical test I’d taken some years ago and I couldn’t remember I found myself thinking ‘That was before R.A. Well … I can’t be expected to remember THAT far back!’

I was diagnosed eighteen months ago.

That scares me. I’m not sure what to ‘do’ with this realisation that RA has become such a big part of me … possibly the best thing would be to screw it up in a small ball and throw it in the waste paper bin.

Thank goodness that if I wake up with this thought at four in the morning I have my trusty iPod to console me – newly loaded with two excellent glum thought-destroying missiles – Cranford (a present from hubby) and Pride and Prejudice (a present from me!) I can also picture Wren building a chocolate pizza, which is sure to cheer me up!

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I’ve been thinking about this post since I read it last night. I have no memory of my life before arthritis, and really no memory of the first year or two with it, either. Arthritis has always been part of me. Sometimes I think about what my life would have been like if I’d never had it, or if I’d had a chance to live without it. Would I be different?

RA is a big part of our lives, and I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. But I do think we need to be careful to incorporate illness into the person we already are, rather than letting it become primary to our personalities. Not that that’s easy. There is so much to learn about RA, so much to get used to, so much pain and so many challenges. I think you almost HAVE to start thinking of your life in befores and afters – after all, everything changes.

That said, your personality shines through in everything you write about illness and about your life. You create beautiful things, you do fun things with friends, you work, you read. THAT is you. RA is now present in all of those things, but it’s not the most important thing.

You’re absolutely 100% right – thank you for putting things in perspective. ;o) Feeling more cheerful today anyway – in spite of a distinct lack of chocolate pizza. (Have however had pizza and a small amount of chocolate wrapped around some ice cream … well, it is Friday!)

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A bit about me

My name is not Pollyanna and I'm not a penguin. If you'd not worked out the last bit you should probably stop reading this and seek out a psychologist.

This is a blog about me and rheumatoid arthritis - sounds like fun, huh? Well I'm hoping it'll be a bit more fun than it sounds - hence the Pollyanna part. I'm going to try to stay positive about it and play 'Pollyanna's glad game' - finding reasons to be cheerful basically.

If you really want to know more see the 'About me' page.

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