sunset on the waters

I miss you now, as I always have,
Though you confuse every part of me into thinking that you miss me too.

Blinking once, twice, tying bows in the blue ribbon between my fingers,
And hold the phone against my shoulder with my cheek, smiling to hear her laugh.
My eyes are smiling, and she can’t see them, can’t see how my hair curls,
Can’t see how much my soul overtakes my outward body…

I wish I’d drank on that boat…just for once in my life, I wish I’d been bad.
I’m so very tired of making other people’s dreams come true…
When is it time for my dreams?

I sewed my own dress for that party…I made sure things were perfect…lovely princess,
And why did I even bother, when it was all sequins and faux pearls there?
The water was perfect, though, and all I thought of was him and her
And angel-less beings with nowhere to go…so much like myself.
Stop telling me to save the world! I am no goddess, no winged seraphim with which
The world may find peace! I am human…and I am in love…
And one day, as we all do, I will die, and I will leave you.
Yes, I will be gone, but on no uncertain terms...and
Will I miss you?