Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Divinity is the Weather

I remember the last time it felt like this. It was such a good day. :)

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Coincidences are the weirdest things. Several coincidences are destroying my brain right now.

1. The book I am reading starts in in the town of Butte, Montana. This is Kellan's mother's hometown. This Sunday, I am going to a party at her house featuring cuisine from Butte. (So she says. I mean, I think it's just going to be barbecue.)

2. There is this girl and I'm pretty sure she's like me in that she picks out people to befriend. This time, it seems that she has picked me. The coincidence is that she is a flute player who sits directly in front of me in band....who else did that????? (get it?)

3. Today, I have a test in Psych. It requires me to have an actual wooden #2 pencil. I didn't bring any of those with me. However, the last time Colleen was here, she left one.

You see what I mean? It's weird, right?

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"I don't want to know that you don't want me.I don't want to know what you'd do without me.I don't want to know what I'll be without you.I dont wanna know. I don't wanna know."

Tegan and Sara kind of day.

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Corrections 8:40 pm

I am not crazy. I'm just not. And I am certainly not going to let the past year of my life just go down the drain. I don't want to get angry. I don't want to act out. But I also don't want to fall apart. I feel like I am caving in on myself. I am trying so hard, you have to know that, right? But you aren't giving me anything. I mean, yeah, now you answer the phone, but part of me thinks that's even worse. I wake up each day to the horrible reminder that I am simply not allowed to talk to you. This was made doubly worse because last night I had a dream that we were us again. Of course, I knew it was a dream because that's too good to be true--but it was a nice break from knowing the best thing that ever happened to me is gone.