Thursday, February 26, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Since early December, I have been growing a beard. I have kept it nicely trimmed, and I felt that it was a good change of pace for me. Hell, I was even complemented a couple of times, which was a shocker.

However, senior class portraits were today and my mom had been hinting at how she would really love to see me clean-shaven again, especially for such an important photo shoot.

So, last night...I shaved the damned thing off. It took me about half an hour to do, because I had to spend about five to six minutes talking myself into it, and the rest of the time I would desperately sigh and bemoan the situation with each swipe of the razor.

At the time I thought I was being a bit dramatic, but when I had finished, and after I had washed my face clean, I looked into the mirror. I honestly did not recognize who it was in the mirror for a moment. That didn't scare me as much as it made me so very sad.

I didn't realize just how attached I had become to...hair. It didn't feel right, not being able to scratch the side of my face and not feel it, or to look in the mirror and see how full it had gotten.

Seeing myself in the mirror, with a naked, misshapen face, I realized that I can no longer sacrifice the things that are important to me. This beard, this growth is a part of who I am - it is what I wanted to help define the new me as I graduated and went off into the world.

I cannot care what people think of my life decisions, and I should not, because they do not have to live with what I do to and for myself. These are the things I must deal with, and the things I must choose.

After today, I am not shaving again. I am moving on from the me that was. Now is the time for the me that will be. I'm moving on and moving up.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Tonight I guess there are gonna be some board games played, so hopefully it'll be fun. Micheal's going to some religious concert before coming here, so he'll probably be riding off that Holy-High for a while.

If any of you have noticed, each daily post has been reference to a song that bears the name of the week in the title.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The weather's picking up a lot. It's near 50 or so, clear sky, real sunny. It makes for a lovely day to go walking, but sadly there's nowhere around campus to go walking.

I would be going to a wine-tasting tonight, but I don't have the money. I had considered lying my way in, saying I donated to the last event the school held for Seniors. It could work, as I doubt they keep strict records of who donated what, and people do make mistakes...

Yesterday, I had to write a thank-you letter to this woman who had donated to a scholarship that specifically went to me. Thinking back on it now, I feel a little guilty for having to feign sincerity and show gratitude for something that I don't exactly know how it helped me.

It's great to see that people are donating to scholarships to help students, but...since I don't pay the bills, it doesn't directly affect me in that sense. I guess I need to work on this idea of "perspective", and realize that things don't have to directly affect me to be appreciated. So, uh...thanks again, Mrs. Long.

So, does anyone have anything fun to share about their experience(s) today? Anyone? Anyone?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I was up talking to Jen around this time. I was probably up til about 5am, given I don't have a class until 1pm on Wednesdays.

I really enjoyed getting to talk to her in depth, and just getting a feel for how her mind works. We haven't really had a real conversation in a while, so this was refreshing. I hope we get to talk more like that soon, but probably about happier, more user-friendly subjects.

She is planning on doing a bit of soul-searching this weekend, so I hope that goes well. It's something I've considered doing for a while, just to refocus myself again. I really do hope you find what you're looking for, and the answers to your troubles become clear as day.

If anyone is interested, please thoroughly explore this site. It is the most poorly designed piece of shit I've ever seen, and we spent a good half-hour or so ripping it apart. It's brilliantly bad.

I'm looking out the window from this classroom, and I think it's going to be raining again any minute. We were supposed to have a thunderstorm, but I think it got downgraded to just showers. Either way, I have to bike back to my room in it.

Monday, February 16, 2009

To anyone who reads this, or cares, or either, I apologize for not announcing sooner Buni's departure from my realm.

Unfortunately, her blog actually has followers, and people who talk to her, so in a jealous rage I removed her. She understands, though, and there are no hard feelings.

Well...part of that story is true. She does has followers who talk to her, and I do not. I did not remove her in a fit of jealous rage, however. I merely booted her to see if the "About Me" thing would finally fix, and it did. We decided that it's fine if she's no longer a contributor, though, because she didn't do much work around here anyway. Love ya, Buni, even if you are a slacking, WoW-addicted ho.

This week seems like it'll be alright. There isn't that much of a workload to deal with, and everyone here seems to be a lot calmer than in the past few weeks.

This campus seems to carry quite a bit of tension in the air, despite being so pretty.

Speaking of things in the air, I got to enjoy a little oddity today, if only briefly. Snow. It's in the 40's out today, and blue skies all around, except for the one gigantic blackening cloud resting above the entire campus.

I was biking to class when I felt something hit me in the forehead. It hit me again, and then I noticed something melting on my sunglasses. It was hard for me to believe this was actually snow, but these minuscule pellets of freeze were coming down, little by little.

There wasn't nearly enough for it to make a damned bit of difference here, but just to see nature trying to bring a little joy to this place was, well...neat.

The temps tonight are supposed to be in the lower 20's, so maybe more winter weather is on the way. I've personally never trusted a groundhog for my weather reports, but sometimes they prove better than the average weatherman.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It's a great day in America when you can sell a book expounding the "miracle" of church donations. Granted, he suffered a LOT, but to say that Jesus alone forced the people who helped him to do so is ludicrous. After two and a half years of recovery time, I would also personally expect to have my body show some signs of healing, but to everyone else it's solely by Divine Guidance™ that the human body can repair itself.

My personal recovery plan seems to be more effective than the government's.

Oooo, sick burn.

At any rate, my strict regimen of sleeping 12 hours a night and eating spicy soups seems to have finally paid off. I only have the mildest case of the sniffles on this wonderfully warm day. I was able to use my scooter again (FINALLY), and fortunately so. I think it's going to rain later today.