better go write an lj about mathematics

“winter for the ages”that’s what the television sets keep saying.i’ve got twin lip marks on either cheekbut they both reek of venal ardor.and these past three monthsi’ve watched habit turn habitualand suffering into method.

Wow, that was rather good. I like the 'kiss+lids' almost assonance rhyme, and also the line 'I've watched habit turn habitual' was really good IMO. There was only 'for another glance into reality of temperate yearn.' that I didn't really like, but that was only because I thought it should be 'a reality' or 'the reality', but that's me being really pedantic. So yeah...not much of a crit I suppose, but there's not much else to say, it's good.

If you have the time could you have a look at mine 'Bella Donna'. Cheers

“winter for the ages”that’s what the television sets keep saying.i’ve got twin lip marks on either cheekbut they both reek of venal ardor.and these past three monthsi’ve watched habit turn habitualand suffering into method.

excellent start. my favorite line is definitely the 3rd. nothing to complain about here