Adventures in Texas

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Death Wears Purple Running Shoes: Week 9

Well, I went running three times this week. I ran for an hour and forty minutes this morning but on Thursday, I may or may not have decided to “run” in my living room and watch an episode of…..

Oh, look! See that shiny thing! Is it a metal butterfly? Oh, no? Just a gum wrapper? Okay.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, how my week went. I had some trouble with my gas-powered transportation this week. Let me tell you about three separate incidents:

1. At work, I park in a six-car garage. I really want to make an MTV Cribs: Work Edition episode sometime because who really parks in a six-car garage? Anyway, last Tuesday, I accidentally rammed the side of my car into the side of the building. When I backed up, my car ripped the siding off the building. It was a really great way to start the day.

My boss wanted me to hire a contractor to fix it but we’re about to pay FORTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS towards an adoption and so…we don’t have the money. I took a look at the siding and decided, “The hubs and I can fix this. Wise family contractors are in business!”

So, we met at the house after work. Instead of deciding what tools we should take, we just took ALL our tools. Both toolboxes, sander, drill, dremmel tool went into the back of my car. We wanted to cover all possibilities.

When we got there, I was trying to show Alex how I thought we could fix the siding without having to replace it…and then a piece of it snapped off and almost sliced my eyes open.. So we went to Home Depot, got our necessary supplies, drove back to work…and then realized that there was a notch at the bottom that would need to be cut out and we had brought every tool we own, except a hand saw.

Here’s some McGyver ways that we got creative about cutting that notch out:

Hammering the handle of a putty knife and trying to score the siding

Hitting the siding with a hammer to try to wear away at the notch

Nailing a series of holes to chip away at the siding

Using the grinder attachment from the dremmel tool

Eventually the dremmel tool worked but it took forever. When we were done, I couldn’t find any spackle to fill in the cracks so I used tile grout instead (shhhhh). I just used my hands because it was quicker that way…which meant that when we were done, a sink was 2 locked doors away and not worth the hassle. So I sat in the car with my hands positioned like a doctor before he goes in to deliver a baby while the grout dried. By the time we showed up at my friend’s apartment, the grout had dried on my hands and I looked kind of like the Hulk.

2. On Wednesday, I had to get to work early to paint the siding that we had just erected. I had a few minutes left before work so I decided to go get gas. Just like any normal day, I put the latch on the pump so that I could go and do whatever it is that I do while I pump gas. I was sitting in the car messing with something in my purse when I heard the distinctive sound of liquid hitting the pavement.

I turned around to see gas spewing from my gas tank like a fountain. I froze for a second and then ran over and stopped the pump while getting gas all over me. Then I stood and looked at it again and thought, “Is my car going to catch on fire when I start it?” I went inside and told the clerk that my pump wasn’t working correctly and then I took a chance and drove off in my car.

It did not catch on fire.

3. On Sunday, I rode my scooter to church. It was rattling more than normal, which might be a cause for concern or it could be nothing. On the way home, I heard a CLUNK and looked over to see this…

Something is amiss…

In case you aren’t a mechanic, that would be my left turn signal hanging on by a pony tail holder. The screws had vibrated out and so a piece of my scooter FELL OFF while I was DRIVING IT. Yikes.