Chevrolet Singapore is offering a stripe-and-dam body kit for the Chevrolet Cruze. The package, dubbed Cruze SS, includes illuminated sill plates and costs the equivalent of $3500. So, wait — now people are paying for corporal punishment?

What's wrong with this picture? Last fall, General Motors global engineering veep Mark Reuss said that the SS badge was set for a "return to its roots," and that it would no longer be just a range-topping add-on. The Cruze SS may be little more than a regional tart-up aimed at bolstering sales, but that's no excuse. Faux performance is faux performance, no matter where it's sold. (Also, what the hell is wrong with tasteful? If a Chevy-licensed German tuner — German! — can do this, why can't the Chinese?)

Several people have pointed out that the Cruze SS bears a passing resemblance to the Bumblebee/Camaro character from Transformers. Since that movie made us dry-heave into our Optimus Prime Unicron Orson Welles commemorative hoodie, we remain indifferent. Ok, not indifferent. More like kind of icky.