There's good news and there's hilarious news. The good news is that Skyfall leading man Daniel Craig has signed up to star in two more James Bond films. The hilarious news is that Robert Pattinson might take his place when he's done. I mean, LOL, right? RPattz as James Bond? That's the funniest visual I've had since I imagined myself signing up for some fancy farm-share co-op thingy. Just as I will never be smooth enough to actually use those ridiculous winter vegetables in a recipe, Robert Pattinson will never be smooth enough to play the greatest, sexiest, dare devil-y-ish hero of our time. I mean, a Jerusalem artichoke would be better suited for the role.

It's not that I have anything against Robert Pattinson, I just think he'd make a terrible Bond. Double 07 is supposed to be effortlessly suave, confident, and, well, in mad shape. Even if RPattz put on 70 pounds of muscle, his inherently awkward, self-aware acting style would still shine through like a lighthouse on a clear night.

Plus, there's that whole Twilight thing, which is very hard to shake. The dude's a vampire as far as I'm concerned, and no sparkly non-dead blood-sucker can play James Bond. It's just not right.

The rumor of RPattz's 007 role all started when Daniel Craig allegedly told a source that he feels that a British actor like Rob would make a great replacement. Apparently, Rob's flattered and gave an interview last summer in which he stated his enthusiasm for the part.

In that same interview, Kristen Stewart also said she'd love to be a Bond girl ... and we all know how I feel about that.

These two, I swear. They can do whatever they want, but it's time to let the Bond dream die.