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Justin on October 21, 2013

What’s really great about this list is that I can see what qualities I should have, too. In my last relationship I did let my insecurities hold her back and I was sometimes jealous. You’ve given me a lot to think about, Nick.

I stayed with a guy for 2 years who always put me down and blamed me for his problems. For a while I started to believe that it was my fault.

Then a friend gave me a book called “Who’s pulling your strings?” It made me realize how I was being manipulated and controlled and gave me the courage to end the relationship. It talks about recognizing the same signs you wrote about Nick. I think you would like it!

Great stuff! Some people use others simply as a means to validate themselves. There’s no mutual respect. These kinds of people will never be right for a committed relationship until they learn to share respect for the other person.

That is the truth that so many couples forget. I see so many classmates rush into relationships with a person they don’t even know that well, just because they want to be in a relationship with someone. They never really get the time to earn respect for one another for whom they are.

I’ll admit I made this mistake various times in high school. But the mutual respect you described explains why females will choose an alpha over a beta (with comparatively nothing to offer) any day.

I think more people need to be comfortable with being alone. Not saying you have to stay alone but while you are, it shouldn’t make you miserable.

Like you said, I know too many people who rush into relationships just to be with someone. A lot of it is desperation and they’re not actually creating connections for the right reasons. It’s unfair to the other party as well.

Hey guys I need some advice on something.
I’ve read almost every article on here and I want to know if my situation applies.

I met this girl, her name is Julie, the first day of school in my Spanish class. I was a senior in a class dominated by Sophmores and Freshmen so I didn’t know anybody in the class. She was sitting next to me, there were way too many people in that class at the time and I used that as a conversation opener. She agreed with me and we had a friendly conversation. Over time I’ve found out that she is a wonderful girl and that I am truly attracted to her. We met in late August of this year and we’ve been having a lot of fun together. I tease her she teases me. She has this thing where she playfully punches me a bunch. I first complimented her during lunch. She has the prettiest blue eyes and I told her that. She smiled and said thank you. Her birthday was today and I found out from one of our conversations that she LOVES candy corn. So I bought her a 3 pound bag of candy corn and told her like 2 weeks prior to her birthday. I then teased her, saying I accidentally ate it, or I didnt buy it and stuff like that and she started this thing where she does this adorable puppy dog face that just melts my heart. One of the times when she was doing the puppy dog face she told me I had really pretty green eyes. We text each other everyday. From morning to when we sleep and we always find the silliest things to talk about. I feel very relaxed around this girl and she doodles on my arms at least every week. I feel that her and I have built a very very strong relationship together and I find myself thinking about her all the time. The only hiccup is that a guy, named Nigel, asked her to homecomming then asked her out on a date and she said yes. This really put me down I just don’t know what to do. Should I back off or should I keep doing what I’m doing?

Sometimes, people in a relationship think that love is enough to keep the relationship going. Love, indeed, is an important factor, but love alone is not enough to make a relationship a lasting and blissful one. I agree that respect also plays a very important part in any relationship, next to love. Just try to think on how you want to be treated and apply that same treatment to your partner. Also, you have to make sure that you have respect for yourself. The more that you show people, especially to your partner, that you have self-respect the more respectful he will be of you as well.

Sometimes it’s hard to choose the person whom you fall in love with, because once your heart choose who you will love, there is no turning back even though he/she is not your ideal type. I’ve been looking for so long for a guy who will treat me well and love me unconditionally, unfortunately, I still can’t find him.