Denver: Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I understand 'South Park' isn't for everyone. But after 17 seasons (has it really been 17!?), I still set the DVR. Last year, TV Guide ranked 'South Park' No. 10 on its list of Greatest Cartoons of All-Time, and frankly, I think that's a bit of a slight. The show is hilarious, the movie was hilarious and their foray into Broadway has been a smashing success. I know I'll be buying tickets (or at least try) to the 'Book of Mormon' when it comes to Indy this summer.

Seattle: Macklemore. Fresh off four Grammy wins, including Best New Artist and Best Rap Album, Macklemore is on top of the hip-hop world right now. A big Seahawks fan, Macklemore was invited by Seattle coach Pete Carroll to speak to the team prior to the NFC Championship game and often plays Macklemore's album "The Heist" during practices.

Advantage: Denver.

Contributions to TV

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Denver: Frank Welker. You may have never heard of Frank Welker, but you've certainly heard his voice. Welker is one of the most established cartoon voice actors of the 20th century, providing the voices for "Scooby Doo's" Fred, "The Transformers'" Megatron in the 80s cartoon and many more.

Seattle: Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson). Everyone's favorite part-time beet farmer, Schrute was often a scene stealer on "The Office." And yes, I know "The Office" is set in Scranton, Pa., but the actor who plays Schrute hails from the Emerald City. Steve Carrell may have been the lead before his departure from the show, but Wilson was the star.

Advantage: Denver.

Music on my iPod

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Denver: The Lumineers and The Fray. I'm a big Lumineers fan and the softie in me doesn't mind The Fray (and when I say doesn't mind, I mean I have three albums). But after those two your grasping at straws with OneRepublic and The String Cheese Incident.

Seattle: Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Jimi Hendrix, The Head and the Heart, you get the idea… The Seattle music scene is legendary and not just with the grunge movement, though that's what Seattle is known for. I could fill an iPod just of songs from Seattle-based artists.

Advantage: Seattle.

City Nicknames

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Denver: The Mile High City. At 5,280 feet, Denver is one of the highest major cities in the US. In light of recent legislation, there are few pot jokes somewhere to be made, but I forgot them (short-term memory loss).

Seattle: The Emerald City. Makes me think of "The Wizard of Oz," which often triggers flashbacks of my performance as the coroner of Munchkin City in my middle school production. (Shudder.)

Advantage: Denver.

Early 90s Rap One-Hit Wonder

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Denver: "Whoomp! (There it is)," by Tag Team. The duo of Cecil Glenn and Steve Gibson met during their high school days in Denver and formed Tag Team in 1993. They burst onto the music scene that same year with "Whoomp!" which reached as high as No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. But after that... Even the most ardent hip-hop followers would be hard-pressed to come up with another Tag Team song.

Seattle: "Baby Got Back," by Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Released in 1992, "Baby Got Back" was the second-highest selling single that year behind only Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" (quite the contrast). The song spent five weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100 and won the 1993 Grammy Award for Best Rap Solo Performance. Sir-Mix-A-Lot released six albums, but never duplicated the heights of "Baby Got Back."

Advantage: Seattle.

Biggest Sports Heartbreak

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Denver: 1976 Winter Olympics. After being originally awarded to Denver, the 1976 Winter Olympics eventually were held in Innsbruck, Austria amid environmental concerns and the Colorado voters' rejection of a bond issue to finance the games with public funds.

Seattle: Sonics relocate to Oklahoma City. The Sonics gave Seattle its only professional championship in 1979. In 2009, the team was ripped away and relocated to Oklahoma City after failed attempts at financing a new arena. The wound cuts even deeper as Sonics fans watch Kevin Durant (who played one season in Seattle) become one of the top stars in the NBA.

Advantage: Seattle.

Best Athlete Born There

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Denver: Roy Halladay. An eight-time All-Star and two-time Cy Young winner, Halladay was one of the most dominant pitchers in the game – when healthy. Halladay retired after the 2013 season, but at the time of his retirement he was the active leader in complete games (67) and shutouts (20). He finished his career 203-105 with a 3.38 ERA and 2,117 strikeouts.

Seattle: Gail Devers. There was some stiff competition with Cubs great and Hall of Famer Ron Santo and two-time gold medalist Apolo Ohno, but Devers won back-to-back gold medals in the 100m, the premier track and field event, in the 1992 and 1996 Summer Olympics. As a lifelong Cubs fan, it was hard to forsake Santo, but as far as "athlete" goes, Devers gets the nod.

Advantage: Seattle.

Best TV Crime Fighter

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Denver: Dog the Bounty Hunter, To be honest, I haven't watched more than five minutes of the show (for good reason), but man is that mullet a thing of a beauty. I see Dog as a combination of Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage with a pepperball gun. The A&E series lasted eight seasons before being canceled in 2012.

Seattle: Adam West. KAPOW! West starred as Bruce Wayne in the 1960s TV series "Batman" as well as the 1966 "Batman" movie. I'm much too young to have seen them in their first run, but the series was syndicated during my youth and it was a guilty pleasure. West was cast in the lead role after the show's producer saw him act in a Nestle Quik commercial.

Advantage: Seattle.

Tourist attractions

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Denver: Rocky Mountains, Denver Art Museum and US Mint. Take a hike in the surrounding Rockies, check out one of the largest art museums in the country (DAM) and meet people who make millions of dollars a day, though their paychecks won't reflect that.

Seattle: Space Needle, Pike Place Market, Boeing tour. There's the iconic Space Needle (I'll pass, afraid of heights), a market where you'll see flying fish and then check out flight of a different variety at the Boeing compound.

Advantage: Seattle.

FINAL TALLY

So there you have it, it doesn't get more scientific than that. In the end, Seattle edges Denver 6-3. Visit your bookie and bet hard on the under. It's going to be a defensive slugfest. (Kidding, of course.)