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Many of us have had difficulties in our lives, some not of our own making, but all the same, ours. We’ve had health problems, family issues, dysfunctional relationships, financial difficulties etc. You know who you are and what you’ve had. So when you want to raise the white flag in surrender after you’ve hit the wall crying, “UNCLE!” I understand. I’ve been there. When you want to toss your toys from your crib like a toddler with a tantrum, I understand. I’ve been there. You may even want to throw a pity party the size of Yankee Stadium, I understand. I’ve been there. When you want to cry, “Why me, Lord?” and fall to you knees, I understand. I’ve been there.

It’s frustrating. It’s depressing. It’s mind-blowing. It’s all encompassing and exhausting. You can drag yourself through life feeling overwhelmed and bemoaning your difficult situations as having a tough life. You can just add up everything and proclaim “I’ve had a hard life” and allow that blanket statement to define you.

Or….you can find gratitude and use your power for good!

You can inspire others to keep shining their heartlights!

What???? Some of you may be asking ~ Has she lost her mind? Feel gratitude for the poop I’ve endured? Does she not know what I’ve had to deal with? Blah Blah Blah…(Insert complaints all around). I didn’t deserve this, I didn’t ask for it! I’m not finding the good in the poop, etc. This was awful. She doesn’t understand. Use my power for good? No way! Etc.

Slow down dearest readers. Deep breath. We’ve all gone through hardships, heartaches and endured what we deemed awful. We can let those things define us or we can define ourselves by what we’ve endured and use our wisdom from living through hell for good and be grateful that our suffering helps others who may be walking similar paths. We can use our power for good. We can inspire others and help them when they stumble. For you are here, right now! You’ve endured unthinkable things and yet you are still here reading my post! I’m so proud of you for sticking with this life and continuing on! (Or have you left and stopped reading?)

Does that make sense to you? Or do you still think I’m full of hooey?

It’s what I try to do everyday when I write my blog. I choose to continue to inspire those around me. So come along, connect with me. Reach out your hand. We are a Soul Family. We are here for each other, to support, to love, to praise, to respect and to find kindness at every turn. Use your power for good in this world and you will remain happy in this life. Turn on your heartlights so I can see you! We learn from each other’s mistakes. We hold hands and move forward, one baby step at a time. ♥

Turn your wounds into wisdom. ~ Oprah Winfrey

Wounds hurt, whether they are spiritual, mental, emotional or physical wounds and it takes time to heal them. Not all wounds are alike and the same type of wound on one of us can heal faster on one than on another with no clear rhyme nor reason. It just happens that way. You can help your wounds to heal faster and better when you choose to connect with yourself and with others.

I’ve been wounded. I don’t think there’s anyone who has escaped being wounded in one form or another. Sometimes the wounds are small and at others, they are gaping holes in our psyche. But what do you do when you’re wounded?

For me, I’ve turned my wounds into wisdom as Oprah so aptly puts it. I’ve reached out to connect with my soul family and I’ve looked inward while the stillness in my heart, soul and mind searched for my dimmed heartlight. I embraced my wounds, bandaging the gushers until the flow of sadness ebbed and I could take a moment for observation at the entire scenario of my life. When I was ready, I was able to look at my wound with a fresh perspective.

And I chose to heal.

Honestly, I am not fully healed. I am somewhere walking on life’s path, neither in the light nor the darkness of negativity. I’m in the grey area of healing. But I am here, choosing to face the light and turn my back on the abyss. The wounds prickle and tingle as they heal and sometimes are freshly poked, causing more wisdom to flow as I re-bandage the sores. The shallow ones heal as lessons are learned. The deeper wounds remain, but I do not allow them to be infected with negativity. I draw out the venom when needed so that the cuts stay clean and the opportunity for healing compassion remains alive and well.

It’s a process. It’s slow at times and at others, I feel the impact of miraculous healing. But the wisdom I’ve extracted from my wounds has been a priceless gift, one that I don’t recommend enduring, but I am willing to share my wisdom from it. It has been enlightening. It has been memorable. It has been a gift that I never wanted, but I was taught to never look a gift horse in the mouth, so I did the best I could to accept the gift with the gentleness of a compassionate heartlit soul.

When asked the above question, most people will, without thinking, rattle off a list of names which includes parents, siblings, spouse, children, grandparents, inlaws and may even begin to delve into further branches of the family tree. An occasional animal lover may include pets, both present and past as leaves in the family tree. We consider family as the blood-line or those connected through marriage or living situations.

I get it. Because that’s what we’ve been taught.

But what if everyone in the world were a part of your family? What if your family wasn’t confined to your DNA gene pool and instead based on loving connections with other souls? What if kindness, understanding, friendship and love were the basis of family? Could you imagine your soul family then? Would it include those in your traditional family unit?

I am a leaf/branch/part of a traditional family unit. I could rattle off names of family members both past and present with ease. But I am learning about soul family units as well and I’m finding it really interesting so I want to share what I know from connecting with others.

A Soul Family is one which may or may not have DNA included in the dynamic. In fact, many times, those who are part of a soul family do not share genetics nor any other branch of the traditional family unit as we know it. They are souls who connect on a deeper level if you will. I’m not saying that traditional family members do not have the ability to do this as well, because I have witnessed it myself. But there are ties that bind us in a soul family that defy earthly rules. For we are all souls with earthly bodies. Just because you aren’t related to someone doesn’t preclude being a part of a soul family. We are all connected as energy and expanding our loving connections only helps to heal and raise the vibrations of peace to this world.

Have you ever heard of a soul family? Do you have anyone in your lifetime with whom you’ve connected like family and yet there’s no traditional family tree involved?

“You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

~ Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

It can be daunting to feel that freedom, to relax into it and to own it. Many people feel it’s only for the young in age, but I believe it’s for the young at heart and available to us all. Sure, we need to keep in mind those who depend on us, but to know that we can choose is what we seem to forget.

And that’s when we get lost.

Somewhere around middle age, in between jobs, spouses, children and responsibilities, we seem to lose that spark we owned when we were younger and had more freedom. Lost in the shuffle of droning routine, we lose connections with ourselves and others. We trod on the path expected, head down, shuffling along and finding ourselves miserable.

It happens to the best of us. We sleepwalk through our lives until something pulls the rug right out from under us and we’re stopped in our tracks. It’s then that we pick our heads up to see where we are and we look around at our lives from all aspects. Sometimes we don’t know where we are, how we got here and realize that this is not what we wanted or what we expected.

And then we choose to change.

It’s good to re-evaluate where we are from time to time. To see if our relationships, our jobs, our health and our responsibilities are indeed what we choose to have in our lives. And if it’s not working, then we change direction in the kindest way possible. For as Dr. Seuss says, “And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

Take some quiet time this weekend for yourself. Look around at your life and inspect where you are. See if you are connecting with the people in your life and with yourself. If you aren’t, then do something about it! Hold a hand, give a hug, be thoughtful in how you treat yourself and others. It only takes a moment of clarity to change the way you are looking at your life. Don’t throw it all away. Life is short. Communicate. Connect. Choose kindness. It’s possible.

I’m sharing snippets from here in hopes that what I have learned from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD, will help you along the way. Please note that her intention was to apply her 5 stages of griefto the survivors of a loved one’s death or to people who are facing their own impending death.

For me, I think the stages can be applied to any sense of loss be it financial, health, relationship, etc. Please note that italicized words are directly from her website listed above.

A little background:

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. ~ A pioneer in Near-death studies and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying(1969), where she first discussed what is now known as the Kübler-Ross model. In this work she proposed the now famous Five Stages of Grief as a pattern of adjustment. These five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In general, individuals experience most of these stages, though in no defined sequence, after being faced with the reality of their impending death. The five stages have since been adopted by many as applying to the survivors of a loved one’s death, as well.

Have you ever heard of them? When you think about your life right now, do any of these feel familiar? At times, I think we can stagnate in the stages of grief, burying ourselves in them like an old comfy blanket. It’s not even that we flow through the stages in a predictable way. Sometimes, we dance through them like an untrained cha-cha, forward and backwards with no sense of timing. It helps when a friend can reach out to share the journey with you and recognize if you cannot, the stages you’ve endured and where you are right now.

Many times in my life, I have flowed through the stages, in varying degrees for various experiences which I’ve endured. The bottom line is that through grief, we are searching for a new normal because the ‘normal’ that we knew, no longer applies to the present reality in our lives. It’s in this way that the stages are good for us all.

It’s not an easy path to a ‘new normal’ when we must accept change. But it is something we are all capable of learning, growing and flowing through with help. I encourage you to reach out, to read and to ask for help. We are here, those of us who have endured all different aspects of life’s journey. You are not alone.

Shine On!

xo

P.S. Have you ever heard of the 5 stages of grief before? Have you any experience with them? Please share below! xo