Hotel Norbu Linka

To the tune of “Hotel California”, lyrics by Jimmy Simpson.

On a hot desert pathway Cool wind in my hair Warm smell of Tibetan bread Rising up through the air Up ahead in the distance There’s a huge wall of stairs My legs grew heavy and my heart grew weak As my cheap backpack tears There she stood in the doorway I heard the Nepali yell And I was thinking too myself “What on earth is she trying to sell?” Then she pulled out some cold drinks Cuz it was a hot Jomsom day There were voices down the corridor I thought I heard them say“Welcome to the Hotel Mona Lisa Such a lovely place Such a lovely place There’s plenty of room at the Hotel Mona Lisa Any time of year You can find it here” My head is definitely sweating I got my bandana I could sure use a milkshake now Chocolate banana How they quack in the courtyard The strange Nepali “chuck” Part of it is a chicken The other part is a duck So I call to the waiter Dhai, bring me a drink He said, “We haven’t had Pineapple Fanta here Since 1993” And still those mosquitoes are buzzing not far away Wake you in the middle of the night I thought I hear Jeremy say“I wish we were all at the Hotel Norbu Linka What a bad surprise What a bad surprise There’s plenty of room at the Hotel Norbu Linka Any time of year You can find it there” Cockroaches on the ceiling There’s Coke, but there’s no ice And we said “We are all just tourist here Of the Christian type” And in the crowded streets of Thamel They offer you hashish You can stab them with your Ghorka knives But you just can’t kill the beast Last thing I remember We returned to Kathmandu Our cash supply was running a little low So we stayed at someplace new “Relax,” said the bellboy “I’m not one to deceive You can check out any time you like And in one week you’ll leave”