No matter how ticked off, stressed, and generally peeved Sweetheart is, being rude to the waitstaff is simply intolerable. I’m going to choose to believe it’s the stresses, though, rather than a habitual ‘she’s in the alpha position’ situation.

H.T., meanwhile, would be a perfect gentleman, regaling you with witticisms and anecdotes even as he enjoys your leg with a spicy chardonnay.