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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A Beginners Guide to Blogging.

When I started blogging about six months ago I had no idea what was involved and indeed how big the blogosphere actually was. In fact I only started because someone told me I should. Yes, I am that impressionable.

Anyway, I thought it would be good to share some of the lessons I learnt with you before I forget them all. So here you go - Kate Takes 5's Beginners Guide to Blogging.

What you will need:
A computer, Internet Access, Patience, Time (plenty of).

Instructions:

If you have a husband \ wife \ partner give them a big kiss and tell them you'll see them in about 6 months time.

Warn the kids that from now on they will be fending for themselves. Only intervene when blood, concussion or the neighbors are involved.

Stockpile tins of baked beans, quick cook pasta and frozen pizzas. Those days of family dinners with slow cooked beef casserole are long gone.

Hire a cleaner, or get used to all the rooms of your house looking like this:

Tell your friends that you might see them one night in August for a catch up. As long as they are fully signed up members of your blog of course.

Get used to disapproving looks from other mothers when your child falls in the street and you scramble for the camera instead of picking her up.

Go to the back of the class. You will need to read up on widgets, html, Twitter Parties (bring your own booze), hash tags (no - not that type), links, followers, etiquette, design, and stats, among other things. Or you could just keep that dunces hat firmly on your head.

Get ready to become obsessed with your grades. Didn't care in school - you will now. Klout, Wikio, Technorati, Tots100, Postrank, Google Search - the list is endless and the rules are boggling.

Domestics. Too many to mention due to points 1,2,3 and 4.

Realise that you now only leave the house when you have run out of 'material' and need to conjure up a post.

One day you will decide to link your blog to Facebook, along with all it's Pages, Badges, Widgets, Likes etc. When that day comes hire a babysitter and buy in plenty of alcohol. It's gonna get messy.*

And finally - get ready to meet some other weird and wonderful bloggers and maybe even make some friends. You can start with some of mine if you like: