With that headline, this could be a story about Chip Kelly battling laziness by distributing fruit smoothies and instilling Navy SEAL training at Philly’s camp. Instead, it’s literally an eagle killing a sloth. Also, the seven deadly sins should all be named for an animal so we could reenact Se7en in Kill Kill Kill posts.

How is that different from ANY season? With the first incomplete pass of the the preseason, WIP says this team is awful, blow it up, 4-12 will be a miracle. Two plays and a first down later, it’s Super Bowl time, bitches. We’re goin’ all the way!