Archive for August, 2016

Legend tells of an ancient creature that would walk this earth for a time, paint brush in hand, searching for a canvas that would contain his masterpiece.

This creature would be bearded from birth, afro-clad, with a tight light blue button-up. The creature would always seem content but never cease and never tire in pursuit of this mission. His paint brush the key. The canvas, a door. A door to what? Only Boss Ross knew.

Boss Ross would, however, reveal certain secrets to happiness in the recordings of old. These recordings can be found on Netflix and Youtube.

As if you needed another reason to stay home instead of going to the theater, the teenagers in my screening of “Don’t Breathe” had me sympathizing with the blind antagonist of the movie, hoping he would strangle the kids who had done him wrong.

It’s been a sad year for movies in 2016. So instead of depressing myself and review a movie nobody really cares about anyway, here are a few non-conventional choices you can watch on Netflix right now.

Athletes have the prestige of being athletic (at least if they’re worth anything on the field) while people good enough can go onto be professional athletes. Good for them.

So-called “gamers” have the prestige of…gaming? It doesn’t really carry the same tune to it and there’s no reason to fight for change on this so let’s just drop it. Uh, yes, playing is fun and it can easily get competitive without going professional but it’s not a way to describe yourself. Play all you want, but you’ve got a lot more going for you than to be defined by “gaming.”

In the epic battle of what matters least, I have found that trying to figure out which multi-billion dollar studio produces the best comic book movie is dependent on how much freedom the creative and invested minds are given.

But let’s bypass all that and pretend it’s better because it’s Marvel. Or DC, whatever your poison.

Snake? Snake? SNAAAA- Yep, he’s dead. But that won’t stop Konami from digging up his grave and sucking the juicy nanomachines from his bones. AND cashing in on that sweet clone blood, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.