Ah, it is Bates's big moment in Downton Abbey (ITV1, Christmas Day): his murder trial. Things haven't gone well. Many of the household members who have come along to help the defence, or just to lend support – "the bucking-up brigade", as Mrs Isobel Crawley calls them – have got themselves into a frightful muddle and ended up basically testifying against him. Mrs Crawley was one letter out. And now the jury finds him …

Guilty! The judge puts on the black cap, Bates is to be taken to a place of execution where he will be hanged by the neck until he's dead … Oh, happy days! If anyone deserves to be hanged by the neck until he's dead, it's Bates. OK, so perhaps not for the murder he almost certainly didn't commit, but for his insufferable decency, and for being a sycophantic little worm. Hell, can you even hang a worm? Perhaps he should be impaled on a hook.

I realise my hatred for Bates is a private thing, and I've let it possess me. Most people will be more concerned by the main event – the ongoing will-they-won't-they? relationship between Lady Mary and Matthew. It's looking like they won't, what with the might of Sir Richard Carlisle's media empire prising them apart, and the ghost of the Turkish diplomat from series one still creeping along Downton's corridors.

But Christmas is a funny old time – a time for reflection, for forgiveness, for facing up to truths. So Carlisle (an early phone hacker, surely) is dispensed with, and as fluffy snowflakes flutter down, Matthew gets down on his knee. Oh joy. Now only the unfortunate Lady Edith is left out in the cold.

Meanwhile, as the Dowager Countess says, the world continues to fall apart. She dances a waltz with Thomas the thieving footman, while stealing the show, as ever, with all the best lines: "Just keep me upright, I'll try to enjoy it." Cora, the countess, dances with Carson the butler. And upstairs, Lord Hepworth (Nigel Havers does bounder splendidly) is busy going all upstairs-downstairs, so to speak, with Lady Rosamund's maid. The waltz of love. It's a beautiful Christmas special, heaving with love and high drama. Even Isis the yellow labrador – for me the star of series two – gets her own storyline. And then the Home bloody Secretary goes and spoils everything, by reprieving you know who …

A lovely Doctor Who (BBC1, Christmas Day) too, with an even better Christmas tree than the one at Downton. Well, "it's the best tree in the world", as the adorable little boy with glasses says. And his mum (Claire Skinner) says it's going to be "the best Christmas ever", as she does every year. Except this year she's lying, because daddy (Alexander Armstrong) crashed his second world war bomber into the English Channel and won't be coming.

Oh good – not that daddy's dead, but that our own planet is involved, and the past. I feel more comfortable there and then. There's also a door into a different world, a snowy winter wonderland where magic sparkling baubles hang from the pine trees. Yes, there's more than a nod to Narnia, but without all the God-bothering, as far as I can see. The message, if there is one, is an eco one.

It's warmhearted and twinkly, and Matt Smith is ever so slightly annoying. But the kids like him, that's what counts. Only one thing is missing – Amy Pond. Well, here she is, Karen Gillan, for a second at the end, but that's not enough. And soon she's off for ever. Now that really will leave a terrifying black hole.

One more Christmas goodie: Absolutely Fabulous (BBC1, Christmas Day), back from beyond the grave, for the first of three 20th-anniversary specials. So who is Edina picking up from prison, in the limo? Well, it must be Patsy, we haven't seen her yet … No, it's Saffy! A nice visual gag – you thought it was going to be something, but it was something else!

Sometimes it does feel a bit 1995. And the world it used to send up perhaps no longer exists. But it's a time for nostalgia. The Saunders-Lumley (Patsy does eventually make her entrance, tottering down the stairs) dynamic is still beautiful. And they have adapted to take on the modern world. Edina's attempts to adopt modern youth speak – wa'gwan, wha'happen etc – are a special joy. Yeah, she's still got it; they both have. There's even a (rather improbable) guest appearance from everyone's favourite Danish detective, Sarah Lund! As Edina might say: rispec'.