Friday, November 23, 2012

It's finally here: Meeechigan vs Ohio State. Maize and Blue vs Scarlet and Gray. The greatest rivalry in all of college football. A showdown so special that not even Jim Delany can screw it up, try as he might.

Tomorrow
marks the 109th edition of The Game. Last year, Michigan beat Ohio for the first time since 2003 (although Ohio hasn't beaten Michigan in a game that's still in the record books since 2009 thanks to the exploits of Cheaty McSweatervest) and Michigan holds a 58-44-6 overall advantage in the series. But that you know, what
you didn't know about the angry mob of f-bomb aficionados from That School in Ohio is found below - in the final regular season edition of
Know Your Foe, fergodssake.

1870: The last year they didn't haveto vacate some of their wins.OSU: Where even the book ontheir seal is blank. O-H!

History - The school was founded as THE
Ohio Agricultural and Mechanical College in 1870 as a land grant
institution. Later that year, the first group of 24 students, including
three women, started attending classes (while probably wearing "Fuck
Michigan" shirts). Like most land-grant schools of the era, an internal
battle was fought to determine the mission of the school. On one side
was the "narrow gauge" crowd, looking to teach subjects strictly
related to agriculture and mechanical functions. On the other side was
the "broad gauge" crowd looking for a more diversified curriculum that
included liberal arts and sciences. As was the case in almost all of
these land grant battles, the “broad gauge” side eventually won. In
1878, in light of an expanded focus, the college permanently changed
its name to Ohio State University.

But that wasn't the
only battle for OSU, because the school was also under fire from other
schools within the state of Ohio. Both Miami University and Ohio
University were considered more prestigious institutions at the time --
and they were justifiably upset to not be selected as THE state
university and the recipient of government allocations. Former U.S.
President Rutherford B. Hayes
lobbied hard for monies for Tosu, mocked the other schools, and
basically browbeat the state legislature to give the new institution a
prominent position above Miami and OU. In the end, the state legislature
settled the issue by declaring Ohio State as the only school that
would be allowed to offer doctoral degrees. Miami and Ohio would be
limited to Bachelor and Masters Programs. This also established the
proud Tosu trend of bullies named Hayes bringing their school glory.

Location
- Columbus, Ohio. The city - named after the lost explorer - is the
capitol and largest in the state of Ohio. Many folks are surprised to
learn that C-bus is the biggest because the cities of Cleveland and
Cincinnati are more well known, home to major league sports teams, and
not the center of evil in the known universe. According to Benny's 2007
KYF, Columbus has kept its largest city in Ohio title by bullying the
few surrounding suburbs into annexation in exchange for sewer and water
service that the city controls (thus making Michigan fans who call the city a sewer not too far off).

Nickname - The Buckeye
is the official state tree and a creative term of endearment for the
pioneers on the Ohio frontier. Apparently, one of the first acts of
the original settlers was to cut one of these stinky trees down and
somehow this led to calling themselves buckeyes ever since. The leaves
appear in a five-leaf cluster, and the fruit (nut) resembles the eye of
a deer, thus the name: buck-eye. It’s poisonous to humans, horses,
cattle, and coaches as it apparently causes them to punch opposing players and lie to the NCAA.

Coincidentally, there is a city in the U.S. named Buckeye, though it's in Arizona, not Ohio.

Mascot
- In 1965, Ohio State students Ray Bourhis and Sally Huber decided Ohio
State needed a “game day” mascot and persuaded the athletic council to
study the matter. At the time, mascots were commonly live animals
brought into the stadium or arena. A buck deer was contemplated but that
idea was eventually rejected given the impossible logistics of keeping
a deer calm in a large crowd (even a deer can only hear so many
f-bombs before losing its shit).

Instead, they went
with a 40-pound paper-maché buckeye nut which was worn over the head
and torso, with legs sticking out. They named him Brutus Buckeye.
He made his initial appearance at the 1965 homecoming football game
against Minnesota. The heavy costume did not last long and it was soon
replaced by a more permanent and durable fiberglass shell. Sometime
during the 1970’s they added a baseball cap to the bucknut with limbs.
Today Brutus looks like something out of a muppet nightmare, frightens
anyone he comes in contact with, angers other mascots into an uncontrollable rage and causes still others to do this on YouTube.

Colors - Scarlet and Gray. The
official colors were selected by three students in 1878. The reasoning
for the combination was that they were a “pleasing combination” and
weren’t being used by any other college. The original selection of
orange and black was shot down when the students discovered that
Princeton used those colors. This was the closest Ohio State has ever
come to being confused with Princeton.

Logo/Helmet
- The primary athletic Ohio State logo from 1957 to 1987 was a simple,
yet enduring block “O”. Since 1987 they have added a more modern “Ohio
State” arched through the middle. They have a ton of secondary logos,
the most common combining the classic “O” with a buckeye leaf and nut.

One should be careful, however, not to confuse the official school logo with their now-more-well-know logo, The Buckstache.

Normally,
the Buckeyes have their distinctive silver bullet helmet design. It
had been unchanged since 1968 until Nike got involved and OSU whored-out
The Game with "special" and "Pro-Combat" uniforms the last couple
years, including tomorrow. They
also love to award their little pot-leafBuckeye Leaf helmet stickers.
The design was "originally drawn in 1950 by alum and comic strip artist
Milton Caniff and was intended to represent the buckeye tree as a
symbol for strength and sturdiness of all Ohio State students. The
first Buckeye leaf decal appeared on the helmets of the 1967 OSU
football team and are still given to players today for execution of an
exceptional play on the field." They're now trademarked by the school.

Fight Song
- In 1915, OSU student William A. Dougherty, Jr., set out to write the
perfect fight song for his school. Dougherty felt that something more
exciting was needed for pep rallies and football games than the sad
melancholy Carmen Ohio (which sounds like something the students would sing in Dead Poets Society). Thus, Across the Field
was born. It debuted on October 16, 1915 against Illinois and has not
stopped playing since (although it is important to note that they had
to wait another 4 years before they could play it during a win against
Michigan).

As
much as it pains us to say it, KYF thinks OSU's fight song and Battle Cry
are top notch. And if you've ever been in the 'Shoe when Hang on Sloopy
plays, it's pretty darn cool. Okay, enough compliments. Let's take a
look at OSU academics.

Mila Kunis is a Tosu fan?

Academics - According to the latest U.S. News & World Report rankings,
OSU is #56, down from #55 last year, tied with Noreastern (the school, not the storms). But they did rank 16th (down from 8th last year. Oh, sad face) in U.S. News' list of "Up-and-Coming" Schools, tied with NC State, VCU and Biola
University. So from everybody here at the MZone, congrats and good luck
with that, you Buckeye up and comers!

Athletics - Few schools have
the athletic tradition of Ohio State. They currently field 36 varsity
teams and are one of only three universities (Michigan and Cal-Berkeley
being the others) to have won national championships in the big three
sports (football, men's basketball, and baseball).

In
2007, Sports Illustrated nicknamed Ohio State's athletic program as
being "The Program" due to the unsurpassed facilities, unparalleled
amount of men's and women's sport teams, their success, and the
financial support of an impressive fan base." Gee, after The Downfall, I
wonder if they'd still say that today?

Exceptional former athletes at Ohio State include Olympic Gold Medalist and Dude Who Made Hitler Eat Crow Jesse Owens,
NBA greats John Havlicek and Jerry Lucas, college basketball coaching
legend and chair-thrower Bobby Knight, and golf superstar Jack Nicklaus
(attended, did not graduate).

Football - It is
in football that most people recognize and associate Ohio State.
They’ve won five recognized national championships, including most
recently the 2002 crown (due to a PI flag thrown about as long after the play as it took you to read KYF thus far). They’ve won 34 Big Ten titles (a number I
didn't have to update after last years KYF due to their season being
wiped away). They have a combined seven Heisman Trophies including the
only two-time winner: Archie Griffin in 1974 and 1975. They have
produced many NFL stars and college and pro football Hall of Famers.
Famous names you might recognize include Jim Otis, Jack Tatum, Eddie
George, Chris Spielman, Orlando Pace, and Cris Carter. Recent NFL first
round draft picks include Chris "Beanie" Wells, Malcom Jenkins, Vernon
Gholston, Anthony Gonzales, and Teddy Ginn Jr.

However,
Ohio State is football probably most well known as a place that
once-great coaches eventually are forced out in disgrace. The two most
iconic coaches in the school's history met such a fate: Woody Hayes for punching a Clemson football player after he intercepted Art Schlichter; and Jim Tressel who "forgot" to tell his bosses, oh, 642 times about his players associating with shady characters, selling merchandise and lying to the NCAA. Naturally then, Ohio State is going to honor Tressel this Saturday as he is rumored to be taking the field with the rest of the 2002 Buckeye National Championship team*.

Famous Alums
- As you would expect, Ohio State has a long and somewhat impressive
list of famous alums. They have many successful CEOs and political
leaders. They have produced two Nobel Peace prize winners and have
accumulated 10 Pulitzers. Recognizable names include former UofM
President Harlan Hatcher, Tuskegee Airmen Squadron Commander Harold Brown, WWII Medal of Honor winner Robert Scott, Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center co-founder Charles Kettering, Goosebumps author RL Stine, Windex inventor Harry Drackett, Shoney’s founder Alex Schoenbaum, ESPN SportsCenter director Vince Doria, Actress Patricia Heaton, annoying comedian Richard Lewis, Rascal Flatts lead singer Gary LeVox, Ric Ocasek from The Cars, country singer Dwight Yoakim, Baseball Hall of Fame
sportscaster Jack Buck, and the co-founder of Wikipedia Larry Sanger.
They also provided an education to serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. By far
the most humorous and ironic name I find on this list is Teflon inventor Roy Plunkett which is probably why it took so long for folks to finally realize the truth about Tressel.

As
much as Michigan fans don't want to admit it, Bo Schembechler has a
graduate degree from Ohio State. From his coaching days under Woody, he
also has a pair of those little gold-pants charms they give out for
beating Michigan (but never tried to sell his on eBay).

KYF counted at least four
NASA astronauts, there may be more. And although the state of Ohio has
produced eight US Presidents (William Henry Harrison, Ulysses S.
Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James A Garfield, Benjamin Harrison,
William McKinley, William Howard Taft, and Warren Harding) -- none of
them attended or graduated from Ohio State. But they are an "Up and
Coming" school. So who knows what the future holds (although if these Buckeye fans are an indication, it ain't good).

The Game
- Last year, Michigan got the monkey off its back, beating Ohio State for the first time since 2003. Even still, KYF thinks it's actually more important for
Michigan to win The Game this year than Ohio State. If the Bucks win,
Michigan's victory last year - at home against one of the weaker teams
in recent OSU memory - will feel like an aberration. A one-off to the
streak* started under The Vest*. But if Michigan can come into the Shoe
and defeat Urban's undefeated team, then I think we could be one step
closer to a new, back and forth, Ten Year War. Because (unfortunately), I don't see U-M
running off a Cooper-esque string of victories against Urban. But you never know.

Sadly, KYF doesn't believe such a string will start tomorrow, with the difference being the home field:

6 comments:

I had a similar thought about who has more pressure. Was last year only a fluke because of a bad year by OSU? I think several things for you last year were a bit of luck, but I alos think luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. A part of me hopes Iowa beats Nebraska today which would put added pressure on your guys.

I think there is more pressure on us. We are favored. We are at home. We are trying to cap off a perfect season. If we lose this year, we'd have to win one at Michigan next year to keep you from going 3-0. The biggest positive is the game is at noon so I don't have to stress all day waiting for it to start.

I don't know what Michigan is going to do QB wise. Part of me thinks it is gamesman ship on Michigan's part and Denard is not that hurt, but we'll see. I hope Borges tries to get too cute and it blows up in his face, but both Gardner and Robinson are very good athletes. With this OSU team every time I pick a shoot out, I get a close game and vice versa this year. Well, I'm going close, relatively low scoring game 21-16 OSU. Robinson gets one TD, the rest are FGs. Michigan leads 9-7 at the half and 16-14 late into the fourth. Miller gets one passing TD, early in the game, and Hyde gets a late rushing TD.

Hopefully everyone stays healthy and we have a good game decided by the guys on the field that aren't wearing stripes.

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