This and other important questions are raised by this 8-minute film we just discovered, Goodnight, Vagina, starring Cheryl Hines and Gary Cole. Reasons you should watch include the following lines: “I have a Bentley, so you know I’ve done this dozens of times.” And: “Your vagina died on the table.” Yep, there’s also a vagina funeral with a tiny coffin. We have a clip here; you can watch the whole thing here.

Nina Strochilic investigates the tension between Dubai’s conservative laws — a Norwegian woman was recently sentenced for claiming she was raped (though subsequently pardoned) — and its desire to be a world tourism hotspot. Women in the World has more.

Oh, look, weddings are getting more feminist, cites a new survey that Time rightly calls out as “debatable at best.” The study points to a changing tide in wedding culture as follows: Fewer women are changing their names. Fewer women are wearing virginal white. Fewer women are blinging out on blood diamonds.

You can call these decisions feminist or you can just call them consequences of our socio-political times. Name identity has been fluid for years, and is not the sticking point it used to be for feminists–and can even be a feminist act. Wedding dresses are nothing if not a fashion statement, and with serious rock stars like Gwen Stefani and Tina Turner wearing frocks likethese, why wouldn’t more women choose to be individual? (p.s., super feminist gals, those two). And diamonds are an expensive extravagance most can’t entertain in these hard economic times.

The study is narrow-minded and lazy, and, in my opinion, yet another way to co-opt the word, “feminism,” and misappropriate it for media attention. And, look, it worked.

The real feminist issues with marriage are as follows:

Equality. It needs to exist in the relationship, period. Whether it’s “man and wife,” “wife and wife,” or “man and man,” a feminist union is one that divides domestic and economic responsibilities equally.

Respect. Till death do you part or whatever, but you’d better treat that person fairly every day. Every party in a couple needs to advocate this for himself or herself.

Options. The more, the merrier. Couples can commit in more ways than traditional marriage. They can live together, blend families, join in domestic partnership, and even happily just date for as long as they damn well please. And gay couples are only just exploring their options.

The Culture of “The Breadwinner”: Despite career gains by women in nearly every industry, the wage gap still exists and workplace policies tend to view men as providers, and because of that they’re paid more. When women do decide to have children, they are subject to a whole new set of prejudices. Fighting for fair family leave is a feminist issue for everybody.

Less “Me”and More “We”: Stepping back from the princess fantasy of a bride’s “big day” is a move we could use to make for the sake of feminism–not to mention reality television programming. Is it ok to wear a pretty dress and exchange jewelry? Of course. But putting all the emphasis of the wedding on the bride, making it all about what she wears, how much she spent on her shoes, and the time it took to construct her hair is the antithesis of what marriage is supposed to be about. It also reinforces the sexist notion that a woman’s worth is all tied up in her looks.

Two of my favorite people are getting married next month and their wedding is shaping up to be one of the most personalized parties ever. There will be hand-painted celebration flags and flowers in hair (her), ice cream sandwiches and moonshine (him), and everybody they love standing around eating artisan tacos and cheering on their ability to share healthcare costs and someday buy a home together. And, of course, their lasting love.

How do you experience being a “fan”? Images of cheering for your favorite sports team or getting way too invested in the fates of fictional characters are probably filling your head right now. And you would think that, as someone who loves something so much that you will swear at the television screen when your team does poorly or camp out for days on end outside a cinema to get tickets to see a film, you would do everything possible to encourage others to enjoy the object of your affection. However, this isn’t always the case. I’ve written before about the negative effects of gendering culture. But I did not address how people can react when someone not of the “correct” gender expresses her fandom. From bewilderment to attempts at exclusion, many women are finding that the greatest barriers to fully enjoying their passions are other so-called fans.

We love Kelly Rowland’s new album, particularly her instructive “Kisses Down Low,” part of a great musical tradition of detailed step-by-steps about how to go down on a lady. In honor of Ms. Rowland’s breakout album and her celebration of female sexuality, we offer this list of Great Songs About Cunnilingus (which is to say: any songs about cunnilingus):

How does the President intend to commemorate “Mission Accomplished” after five years of death and destruction?

Is every Iraqi a terrorist?

The President has said publicly several times, in two consecutive news conferences a few months ago, and you have said over and over again, we do not torture. Now he has admitted that he did sign off on torture, he did know about it. So how do you reconcile this credibility gap?

Would the administration agree to a referendum in Iraq to see what the people really want?

In the immediate aftermath of President Obama’s succession of President George W. Bush, there was a period of public breast-beating on the part of reporters who bemoaned the easy ride Bush and his underlings had gotten on the war in Iraq. The American media should have asked tougher questions, investigated the administration’s claims more thoroughly, and been more willing to stand up to the man who styled himself a “war president” when he claimed America had never tortured prisoners nor occupied Iraq against the will of Iraqis.

Yes, yes, we all know about “to the left, to the left” and “all the single ladies.” But if you listen to Beyonce’s oeuvre in its entirety as I have, thanks to a borderline obsession and a lot of workouts, you will find she has a very clear, complete philosophy on relationships that goes beyond great kiss-offs. A few of our favorite tips, as only Beyonce can give them:

From “Ego,” lines to use on the man you’ve got your eye on:

Some women were madeBut me, myself?I like to think that I was createdFor a special purposeYou know?What’s more special than YOU?

Well, you got the key to my heartBut you ain’t gonna need itI’d rather you open up my bodyAnd show me secrets you didn’t know was insideNo need for me to lie.

Since we published our book, Sexy Feminism: A Girl’s Guide to Love, Success, and Style in March, we’ve received our fair share of mixed reviews. Of course we did. It’s a book about feminism. The cover has glossy lips on it. The title has the word “sexy” in it. All of these things pretty much require a careful, even skeptical analysis. Sometimes we got that, sometimes we got worse, and many times we received lovely, thoughtful praise. We’re thankful for all of it (you can review most if it here, Google for more of the less-civil discourse).

Today The Atlantic wrote the kind of thoughtful review we’d been hoping for all along. Rather than picking apart all of our chapters–on dieting, bikini waxing, sex, fashion, female friendship, etc.–as “feminist or not” (in itself notsomuch a feminist act), it revisited the wonderful wealth of books that set out to do just what we did: speak to young women about feminism in an approachable, deliberate way. Our primary goals for our book were to educate and incite discourse, the latter being the most important of the two. Getting women to embrace feminism as cool, doable and–yes, ok, sexy–would be a bonus.

The Atlantic‘s Jordan Larson cited books published from the 1970s to today that celebrated feminism as a right and righteous act for young women–from Feminism for Girls: An Adventure Story to Manifesta and Full Frontal Feminism. We’re honored to be included in this bunch, as they influenced our feminist identity and led to us writing our own book.

Larson doesn’t gush about Sexy Feminism, and indeed raises some questions and concerns that should be raised any time a new feminist text hits the marketplace. And that’s why we’re thankful for this piece. It encourages everyone to seek out these books–all of them–read them, think about them, and decide for themselves what their own brand of feminism looks like.