Saturday, January 04, 2014

Thus far I've spent the New Year increasingly debilitated by a seasonal cold-flu-something -- sweats and chills and coughing fits and sapped strength and the whole kit-'n'-kaboodle -- and in my intermittent bouts of mild feverish delirium, there are times when I am forced to question whether something is real or imagined. You can imagine the trouble that I am having right now with this picture.

But no, it's real, and it's spectacular: CTV News producer Joe Olafson took this photograph at the corner of McPhillips & Aberdeen, and it really is quite the fascinating smorgasbord of intrinsically Winnipeggian character notes. [ via ]

(And yet, despite all that, the province's basin-pumping activities have meant no river trail so far this winter. We just can't have nice things.)

Bartley Kives had written last month -- last year, now, I suppose -- that Winnipeg should embrace the tourism opportunities of its chilly character, because we may as well make the most of winter if we're going to stubbornly continue having it each year. I am all for this! Now, occasionally not being able to fly in, that may seem like a drawback at first -- and we've been having some trouble with traintravel, too, lately -- but I think, really, that just adds that certain special exclusivity to the tourism draw of it. Right? A rare and unparalleled experience that may require going a ways out of one's way, braving the danger of the unbeaten path in the name of a story to tell later.

The important thing is that -- even when it isn't easy to get people here -- we believe sure as shootin' that it's worth the trip to be here; all we have to do is get people into the city and, by gum, the magic of Winnipeg wins them right over.

"Three trips later, I do wonder how so many people actually inhabit The Peg."
"Driving is terrible. A bumpy obstacle course. Frozen solid."
"This is absolutely the coldest weather I’ve ever experienced in my life[.]"
"The weather was just horrific and the roads are awful. It’s embarrassing, I don’t know how a winter city can operate like this."
"Who plows your roads?"

And funny he should ask, in fact! The pride and joy of our humble metropolis, our city services are a-hummin' along just as smoothly as they ev--

What will the City do with the Public Safety Building space? (Vacate it at the first opportunity, pretend it doesn't exist, and hope it falls down.) Who will be the next big breakout recording artist out of Manitoba? (Joe Stover.) Will the Winnipeg Jets make a playoff run? (No.) Will the Winnipeg Blue Bombers win the Grey Cup? (No.) Will the Goldey--(lol, the goldeyes, c'mon man) Local food'll be good, though, right? (Yeah, food'll be good.) Good! Ahh, the promise of a new year.

Hey, who wants some Hydro news? No no, good Hydro news! I know, that's weird.

"This is what we do. Forty-two men volunteered and we could have had a lot more."
"We've had from people crying to people dancing to people hugging the guys to bringing out doughnuts. Lots of people are happy, taking pictures with the guys, so it's all good. (. . .) We use Toronto Hydro trucks so we've had a few guys screaming at our guys and asking where we were five days ago. Once they find out we’re from Manitoba they are really appreciative."
"I was thinking on the way home that maybe we’ll have a Ukrainian Christmas this year."

My favourite of the batch, because how could it not be, is from this section of the Toronto Star article listed above:

They may think we’re a bit strange, but that hasn’t stopped them from travelling across the province and the country to help us out in our time of need.

When crew supervisor Marvin Roos from Dauphin, Manitoba was out reconnecting houses in Scarborough Bluffs on Christmas Day, an Italian man emerged from his house with a hot drink.

"He came out with some sort of strange coffee — what do you call it, espresso or something? Boy, was it strong stuff!" Roos said.

If you don't think this is just adorable, I don't even know what to do with you. Is this not the finest small-town perfection you've read all week? This is Kate Beaton's Dad as Hydro crew supervisor, and I love it to pieces. Just to bits.

The Toronto Star writer, perhaps also caught up in the spirit, ends the news article with a bit of found poetry:

"They parked their two Toronto Hydro trucks nose to nose, exposing a Manitoba Hydro logo drawn in the dirt on one, and raised the cranes. The arms extended, elbows pointing in opposite directions, forming an industrial-looking heart in the sky."

AUGH WHY IS NO ONE ALLOWED TO WRITE LIKE THAT HERE. Just that little extra narrative flourish, that's all I ask, we really don't need much here to keep us going. Winnipeg is the greatest magical-realism noir the world never realized it wanted, we can stand to let loose a flash of colour here and there when we explain it to people.

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James Hope Howard is a currently-job-hunting Librarian, a current affairs panelist on 101.5 UMFM's Winnipeg Internet Pundits, a competitive gaming stream commentator for Chip Damage, and the reigning five-time Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown champion of Winnipeg. Plus other duties as assigned.

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