Every time I've been on the 73 the driver's been a bit of a cock. Last time I was on it he kicked everyone off two stops after Kings Cross, for no reason. Some lady stormed back on the bus and shouted "YOU MAKE ME ASHAMED TO BE BLACK!" A very moving speech, I'm sure you'll all agree.

Paddy and Mick are walking home after a night on the piss. They've got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside a bus depot.

Paddy has a brainwave and says to Mick "Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I'll stay out here and look out for the police"

Mick duly breaks into the depot and is gone for twenty minutes while Paddy is wondering what the hell he is doing. Eventually Paddy sticks his head around the door and sees Mick running from bus to bus looking very worried.

"What in all hell are you doing Mick, get a move on!" To which Mick replies, "I can't find a number 7 anywhere, Paddy!"

Paddy, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts back, "You fucking idiot Mick!

Steal a number 9 and we'll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of the way!"