Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Between arriving home, editing blogs to make sense to my audience, compiling in chronological order, deleting some, adding some, sending for review and approval, gaining approval and a check in the mail, sending to editor, receiving back, and making corrections, I am now on chapter 41 of 50 and the end will be sweet.

The book will be called, Honestly, I'm Struggling, by Heather Bohlender, with Chris Blake. Ah, doesn't that sound...wonderful?

A few months ago a girlfriend of mine asked, "How's the book coming?"

"Slow, but good."

"What's it called?"

I answered, "Honestly, I'm struggling."

"Oh, having a hard time coming up with a title, huh?"

Writing this book has been an awesome learning experience for me. I don't think I'd be where I'm at, learning what I am, if Mr. Blake hadn't encouraged me to write this book. I wonder how long it would have taken me to read through my blogs from Cambodia, if at all.

I needed to sort through my emotions. I needed to re-open those wounds as much as I didn't want to. I needed to see where God fit into a picture I'd mostly shut Him out of. I needed to heal and that is a continuing process. Healing.

Working on my book was like diving back into Cambodia; the streets, the noise, the isolation, then shutting my lap top and re-entering life. The story was no longer the only reality that surrounded me. Now I could read about it, and walk away from it, something I couldn't do before.

I'm grateful for the opportunity and I'll be even more grateful when all of you go buy it!

Camp is over. As my new friends were walking out the door, they ask, "Are you on Facebook?" All my previously held beliefs crumbled and I indeed am now on the book of faces. It's not so bad I realized. Just like every other tool in my life I can choose to use it when I want and the opportunities around me do not have to control me.

From Indian creek, Jeremy and I drove 14+ hours to the great state of Delaware, where he is from. Road trips with him are different. We stopped at this place called Sheets. Little known to the midwest, this gas station is...classy. Hot food made to order, clean bathrooms, good stuff. On our way I got a midnight tour of the monuments in DC. We talked. We solved all the world's problems one conversation at a time. Yeah, we do stuff like that.

We stayed at his house 2 nights, then drove back to DC to get the full experience with some friends. We met Ryan, Cody, and Sara and stayed at her apartment a few nights. When I say the "full" DC experience, I really mean, I can just say I've been there. I didn't have an agenda, which I'll admit is a new idea to me. I just knew I wanted to be with good people and see a few things, so we did. We stayed up till 1 am watching the Matrix, slept in 'till 10. Made our way downtown by 2pm, strolled through the Lincoln monument and World War II memorial. We saw a few Smithsonians, experienced the Holocaust museum, and played frisbee on the mall, yes, the very mall where Obama was sworn in.

Now I am at Rehobeth beach in Delaware, with Jeremy's family. At noon, I have a date with a splendid individual, Polly. Yes, Polly of Cambodia, who lived there 2 years, and just got home a month ago. How perfect is it that she is visiting family this week 30 minutes away? I am nervous to see her. I'm excited to talk to her.