Original humor & comedy articles daily weblog

Howdy, friendly reading person!I'm on a bit of a hiatus right now, but only to work on other projects -- one incredibly exciting example being the newly-released kids' science book series Things That Make You Go Yuck!If you're a science and/or silliness fan, give it a gander! See you soon!

I checked in a few times over the weekend, and found a ri-goddamned-diculous surge in ‘spamment’ attempts around here. I guess the slime-slingers figure that with people out of town and distracted over the holidays, they can slip a few ass-headed ads in here.

Well, I’ve got news for you fuckers — no sale.

I’m happy to report that the blacklist picked up most of their tries and unceremoniously trashed them. Of the dozen or so that got through, it took maybe ten minutes — yes, even over dialup from the middle of nowhere — to clean those out and set things in order. You’re not getting a page-rank-boosting Christmas present from my site, ya shitty-pantsed goobers. Not this year. Not ever. Buh-bye.

Apart from that, things are pretty quiet around here. I’m still counting the days until I can get back home to Boston. And I’m sleeping a lot.

(I think it’s a defense mechanism; under extreme duress, I can snooze for twelve hours a day or more. If it weren’t for the pillow creases on my face, it’d be beautiful. And still is, if you don’t mind looking like Quasimodo for a couple of hours every day. Pretty cool.)

Anyway, that’s about it for now. I’ve been awake for two whole hours without eating, so somebody’s likely on their way to stuff food down my gob again. I’m not sure what it is, exactly, about the holidays that makes people believe that they’re obligated to consume their weight in desserts and dead animals, but our families are whole-heartedly drinking the Kool-Aid, if you know what I mean. I’ve had more candy than a fat kid at Halloween. More ham than a liquored-up William Shatner. And more turkey than Congress.

(I’ll stop now. It’s just getting silly.)

So, that’s the story for now. I’ll check in with you kids later. Meanwhile, it’s three days and counting till the trip back to the homestead. Track it with me, people. Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick…