It was a cold day, since I live in Canada, (around -27) and I was trying to start the morning off cheerful. I tried to erase the terrible thoughts that went through my mind from the night before and because of that, the morning was pretty chill. After lunch is when things went terrible. After a period of awkwardness being put in the same group as my ex friends, I went to art class, which is my hell. I love art, it’s one of my main hobbies but the teacher is awful. Anyway, I sat at a table with my best friend and my ex friends ( a w k w a r d ) until they started to talk. They talked about how my ex best friend was having a sleepover at her house. I thought me and her were good until now, since I had no idea about the sleepover. It hurt, and even if it wasn’t a big deal, it was the fucking cherry on top of the cake of misery. I went to the washroom, and cried. I cut again, it was awful. Finally the principal had to talk me into coming out and into the nurse’s room. I stayed there and cried while the principal asked what I wanted, and I replied shaking saying I wanted my best friend. After she got her and came into the room, I cried onto her and we talked for about a hour, I was better. The school day was over, and I thought I was okay being home, yet I was greeted by a call from my mom. We got into a huge fight over some school work of mine, and it didn’t help since she had no feelings for the fact I had been crying the past two hours. After that whole thing, I went to my grandma’s and slept for about an hour and I had woken up to a message from my crush friendzoning me. I don’t know what to do. Finding happiness is difficult.

All I want to do at this point is either play Zelda and cry all day or become unconscious until something good happens. Preferable the second thank you very much.

I’m just fed up with everything right now, and nothing seems worth it. If I died the world would keep spinning so what’s the point?
Answer: I feel like there is none. I want to die.

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2 Comments

Lovvely, sounds like a really shitty day. You’re a sensitive soul and there’s nothing wrong with that. Your ex-friends seem like they don’t have anything better to do than make you upset. And you are feeding their fire. I worry about you because I know you care about others. The world needs more sensitive, caring people. Not less. And yes, someone’s world would stop spinning without you. Maybe someone you have yet to meet. In hindsight, my time in school is a tiny part of me. I don’t even remember who half of my teachers were. And once you’re done it’s over. Clean start if you can let go of it. Please don’t give up. Don’t let them get the best of you. You’re a good person! You reach out and try to help total strangers all over the world! Stop hurting yourself. I’m a cutter so I understand. Your blood is precious. You are sweet and kind. And sensitive. And I like having you around.

School years are some of the sh*ttiest ones in life.. That being said, my fellow Canadian, the cold years of school will pass and you will transition to a warmer time, if you wait, you will blossom as the bulbs in Canada’s spring.
Don’t let a bunch of hosers get the best of you, eh.