Wednesday, August 24, 2011

My Genius Idea for the Iowa-Iowa State Trophy

Luckily, the shitty trophy above will not be awarded to the winning team (Iowa) when Iowa and Iowa State face off in the Iowa Corn Cy-Hawk Series.

There are many ideas out there for a replacement trophy for this game. They could create a trophy with Nile Kinnick (an American hero) representing Iowa and Jack Trice (a murder victim) representing Iowa State, but they'd probably have to be arm wrestling for corn, and it would end up looking shitty and making everybody regret that idea. Let our heroes die in peace.

Instead, let's try something different. As happy as I am that Iowa Corn has chosen to change the trophy, I feel like they missed a golden opportunity with the backlash against this trophy. They don't have enough time to create a new trophy for the game, so ideally, they would be inventive. What I propose is that they actually keep that monstrosity of a trophy for the winners of this year's game. But instead of them hoisting it high above their head in jubilation, they also get a sledgehammer to smash the thing to pieces. Smashing things is awesome, and I guarantee the players would be excited to give that trophy its proper burial.

But they'd still need a trophy for next year's game. Don't worry, because I've already given them the perfect idea. All they need to do is get Triple H's signature (optional) and get it bronzed (preferable), and the sledgehammer that smashed that old shitty trophy becomes the reward for winning the Iowa Corn Cy-Hawk Series.

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