Tandem Feeding.

It's looking increasingly likely that i shall be feeding DD and the new baby at the same time. DD will be 20 months when this one is born. To be honest, it's not really what i had planned - i had thought that DD might be weaned off before this one came along, but she's still enjoying it, and truth be told, so am i, so i can't see any real reason to stop - she feeds before going to sleep at night, then maybe about 11pm and then about 6am. She might have a feed during the day, but thats only occasional now.

I don't really know much about tandem feeding, and i'm about worried how to actually do it. I know newborns cluster feed a lot - how will DD and new baby work themselves around this? Am i likely to have enough to go round for both of them? Is DD likely to want to feed more when i am feeding on demand for newborn?

Sorry about these stupid questions Don't really have anyone in RL to ask - everyone seems to assume that DD won't feed anymore once newborn comes along, or they think the thought of me haing a baby on each boob hilarious

I also tandem fed with the same gap - the first few weeks are interesting, both of them will want to feed alot.

You will have enough milk and you may find you lose a lot of weight very quickly (well I did anyway). Couldn't eat enough to maintain weight.

I found feeding them together (ie at the same time) really awkward and hated doing it. But it is heartbreakingly charming to see your newborn grasping your toddlers hand as they both nurse. (and then they spoil it by one distracting you while the other pokes you in the eye )

Hi Dee, i'm tandem nursing my dc (2 year age gap) and it's hard work, mainly because ds - who is the older - asks to nurse a lot more than I'm prepared to IYSWIM. I think the best approach for the older child is to don't offer don't refuse, but I couldn't do that with ds as he'd be on me 24/7!

You will have enough milk, and it's a lovely bonding experience for your babies. I found that putting dd in a rugby ball hold and letting ds arrange himself around her was the easiest and safest way to nurse them together - although I find the sensation of nursing them at the same time pretty nasty. I know several people who don't mind it though!

Please get over your principles before you have your second child - particularly regarding bribery. DD wanted to nurse a lot and I decided that in the long term, saying 'okay, do you want to come off now and have a chocolate button' was better than saying 'no you can't nurse again, you've had six goes already and it's only 11am'

Obviously don't do this to the baby! But you do need to let go a bit if you are anything like I was.

And I do remember feeling distinctly resentful of DD still breastfeeding as in 'why the bloody hell is she still feeding at her age, shouldn't she be all grown up yet' (which is really silly as she was only 2!) Looking back, because she had suddenly become a 'big sister' I expected her to act like a big sister (which in my view meant being responsible, patient, considerate - all those things that toddlers just don't do) But it's all normal and it's okay. Just work out your own way of getting through it. Buy lots of sticker books. DD could be distracted by 'you can do a page of stickers' better than anything and while the baby is tiny, it won't be nicking them. If they sit next to you while you are nursing doing something quietly you know they are not painting on the walls with your lipstick too.

One thing that got to me was the 'queue' situation, where DS would be nursing and DD sitting next to me telling me how she was 'next' and 'want booby now please, hurry up please' and you can start to feel like a municipal convenience , but it doesn't last forever.

DD has now almost self-weaned. She nurses about once a fortnight when she feels ill - she's 3 in a couple of weeks. And we can talk about it now which makes it much easier.

But honestly it is eminently doable and worthwhile. Although the midwives will treat you like a circus freak and everyone in the maternity ward like you knit your own yoghurt. Tis quite good fun scaring the first time mums though

Thanks for all your posts - it doesn't seem all that daunting now. DD will be 20 months when this one comes along, and is still very much a 'baby' toddler, iyswim? She's only been walking a couple of weeks and isn't an independant toddler just yet - she's gotten used to it being just her and me when her big brother has gone to school, and i'm worried she'll feel left out, as well as DS too.

Though DS is very excited about becoming a big brother again, and has put in an order for a boy baby this time

I think now i've made the decision that i'm going to tandem feed i feel a bit better. People have just been assuming that i will stop feeding DD when the baby comes along, and i've just mumbled 'probably' as i wasn't sure what i was going to do.

We had to find out the flavour for health reasons, but have decided to leave it as a surprise for people

Feeding 2yo DS and 3week old DDFeed both together sometimes and agree rugby ball for the LO and letting the toddler sort himself out is the way to do it! And you won't be able to scratch your nose or put either of them down so it's helpful to have someone within shouting distance.

DD hasn't done the evening screaming/cluster feeding yet - can anyone tell me when that starts as I can't remember from DS?

His bedtime routine's had to change slightly though, he has his feed and if he's not asleep within a reasonable time or when she starts crying DH comes and reads to him while he falls asleep.

Sorry Stealth - didn't see your youngest was three weeks. If it helps with DD she didn't do cluster feeding till three months. And DS was early so needed extra feeds. I'm sure you have lots of time yet before it kicks in <hopeful>

Not much to add really demented (am feeding 3.8 yr old dd and just turned 1 year old ds), but just to reiterate that both are likely to want to feed a lot in the early weeks. I let dd have free reign for a few weeks whilst she adjusted to having a baby brother, and then gradually cut her back to a more sensible amount.

Hello! Glad I've found this thread after being linked to it! I am trying for baby No2 and will be finding out later this month if our 'attempts' have worked. DS is 12mths old now and I'm hoping to feed him until he self-weans or around the age of 2yrs so I am expecting to be tandem feeding. I was just hoping for some advice and tips of the more wiser and experienecd of you and after reading your posts I do feel somewhat reassured that it will work <wibble>. The thing I'm most worried about though is other people's reactions and comments even though I know I shouldn't be. How do you lot cope with that side of it?

Gwar - I just talk about it (when it crops up - I don't go out of my way to tell people, but I don't hide it at all either) as though it's the most normal thing in the world, which of course it should be, and although people are sometimes a bit surprised, I haven't really had any bad reactions (not to my face anyway ) as yet.

I tandem feed in public (3yo and 7mth old DDs) and honestly, if anyone has ever noticed, they haven't said anything. I tend to feed little DD in a sling and then hoick a boob out the side for the big one...tis all covered by the sling!