Reading the absolutely savage reviews of the new "Texas Chainsaw 3D" gave me a jones to watch Tobe Hooper's original "TCM" again, which I haven't seen in 20 years at least. You all know the story, what little there is of it - a group of five youngsters on a trip thru the backroads of Texas run afoul of Leatherface and his demented cannibal clan. Bludgeoning, meat hooking, and of course chain sawing immediately follow.

Pretty shocking for its time, this is still a fairly nasty, grungy little flick even by today's standards. My only complaints are the flat ending, and the fact that the "final girl" does absolutely nothing but scream, scream, scream her head off for the last 30 minutes or so, which begins to grate on the nerves after a while. Seriously, I was like "Pleeeeease stuff the rag back in her mouth and shut her the hell up!"

Special note, the version I watched is the "2 Disc Ultimate Version" DVD, which is restored and remastered and features a second disc full of bonus geek goodies. Splatter hounds, this is your definitive "TCM" experience.

TEENAGE ZOMBIES (1959) it's no suprise to anyone here at BM.O that Jerry Warren makes bad movies, TEENAGE ZOMBIES is jaw-dropping BAD.The main set looks like the set from NIGHT OF THE GHOULS, and the film itself is just that, a film, kinda like spots on your glasses. See it if you can.

I watched it on youtube yesterday... and had a good time with it. The level of my bad taste sometimes even shocks me.

Slipstream (1989) - in a post-apocalyptic future, two bounty hunters are bringing a captured man back to the authorities, but an opportunistic Bill Paxton swipes their quarry and takes off with him. Everyone flies around in airplanes in this future, so Paxton spends the rest of the movie flying to remote places on his way to claim his bounty while the bounty hunters chase him in their really cool little plane. This was pretty good for the first two-thirds, as affable and goofy Paxton gets to know the Byron-quoting bounty he's accompanying. But then they arrive at some underground complex where people live the good life - and that just drags on and on forever. Like 10 minutes of people dancing. Got really boring unfortunately. Too bad because it wasn't bad at all up until then. Well you know, it was "bad" but in a good way. 2.5/5.

Metamorphosis: The Alien Factor (1990) - I didn't lke this as much as jack. predictable plot and dialogue and basically the only effort put into anything were the special effects which were okay I guess. There was one scene I liked, the comic relief boyfriend slips and falls in some slime and goes "Jesus Christ, What the hell is that?" then he walks over to a water cooler and washes his hands off, all in real time. it doesn't sound funny but it sort of was. 2/5

The Rig (2010) - some people are on an offshore oil rig and a nasty little monster gets aboard and starts killing them. Pretty run-of-the-mill stuff. Characters were okay, somewhat good. It was a bit too cheesy to create much tension. Atmosphere was decent, it was obviously filmed aboard a real offshore oil rig, which added plenty of authenticity to it. They stuck an extra ending on after the main ending was finished, which was pretty much a waste of time. 3.25/5.

Hell Comes to Frogtown- between this and They Live roddy Piper is just about the greatest actor of all time in terms of consistency. bad acting and writing with a fun ridiculous plot and lots of dumb humor and hot babes, some undressed not quite enough. can't believe it took me this long to see it. A great b movie that isn't SO great that's is actually an A movie like, say, the Dark backward or something. 5/5

TIM & ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE (2012): Cult TV comedians Tim & Eric are given a billion dollars to try to make a movie, squander it on hairdos and personal assistants, then try to make up the balance for their vicious corporate backers by rehabilitating an abandoned shopping mall overrun by wolves. Tim & Eric's awkward brand of meta-humor is often fascinating, but the mean-spirited grossout jokes clash with and ultimately overwhelm the clever avant-garde jokes, making the movie something of a missed opportunity for the absurdist comedy cause. John Waters would approve, however. 3/5.

Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED

Super Hybrid (2010) - a wrecked Chevy Nova is taken to the Chicago police department's parking garage / impound lot, and before long it's not only repaired itself, but it's shape-shifting into other cars and chasing the mechanics around I liked this; it's cheesy, unbelievable, and a fair bit of fun. The acting was pretty good and the characters were somewhat believable, the atmosphere in the parking garage was decent, and although the action stuff was a tad too silly too take seriously it did manage to create at least a modicum of suspense. It threw in a little CGI here and there that was, shall we say, bargain basement. Most will probably think it's very average but for me it managed to hold a special charm. 4/5.

More animated fun from the DC Universe. Vandal Savage recruits the JLA's biggest enemies into a new "Legion Of Doom," and uses secret files on each JLA member stolen from the Batcave to get them out of the way before launching Savage's ultimate take-over-the-world plot. Not much story, but lotsa action.

THE BABY (1973)I caught this on TCM Friday night and was anticipating something weird, and though it was it was also boring. It reminded me of a made for television movie from that era. The ending was good though. 2/5

This weekend I watched THE HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET and JUDGE DREDD.

HOUSE was a very entertaining thriller; I believe it was a remake but it has been so long since I saw the original (if I ever saw it) that I really didn't see the twist coming and really enjoyed it. DREDD was a very enjoyable if mega-violent popcorn flick with some excellent special effects. Overall, I got my rent money's worth.

Say The Room last night, Tommy W. was there- I EVEN GOT A PICTURE WITH HIM AND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then again, he is from Chalmette, north of where I live.

THE ISLE [SEOM] (2000): A mute woman who runs a fishing resort becomes obsessed with a suicidal fugitive hiding out in one of the floating cabins. A bizarre, perverted sadomasochistic love story in a unique setting; animal lovers may feel like boycotting this one, though. 3/5.

Logged

"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED

Say The Room last night, Tommy W. was there- I EVEN GOT A PICTURE WITH HIM AND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then again, he is from Chalmette, north of where I live.

Curse of Bigfoot (1976) - we begin by watching a dog lap up an entire dish of milk, in real time. Then some guy in a gorilla suit with an awful papier-mâché mask shows up and we hear the dog's owner scream. Turns out this was just a film being shown to a class of high school students. Their science teacher explains that the existence of Bigfoot is no longer questioned by anyone calling themself a serious scientist. We're encroaching on their terrain you see, and just to prove his point we're forced to watch about 15 minutes of logging machines out in the woods. Followed by a good 10 minutes of a guy walking through the woods as dramatic public domain music plays. Finally our guest speaker shows up, a renowned and respected screwball who relates the tale of how he found Bigfoot. So we watch this guy and some other high school students take about 20 minutes to climb a hill and find a hole in the ground with a Bigfoot mummy. They bring it back to their cabin - where it's night but obviously broad daylight - and of course mummyfoot comes back to life. He wanders around the woods for a bit prior to the big showdown. And that was truly the only good thing about this - 5 seconds after the climax, "The End" appears on the screen.

Characters were profoundly uninteresting, acting could more accurately be described as line recital, the boredom was unfathomable...1/5.