Category: Kids
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We have NO free weekends until we take forced family fun time in July. None. Nadda one. We may have a Sunday possibly but more likely we have half a day EITHER Saturday or Sunday from here until …. forever. Because as soon as the crazy of summer ends, school begins, then snowboard season, then spring is back again. There is a two week period towards the middle of March where we have some semblance of calm.

I own the fact that we have a large family. I wanted my children so desperately, each and every one of them. I knew we’d be busy.

I had no idea.

I own the fact we allow our kids to participate in multiple activities throughout the year. (Except in the winter. We own the winter. It’s snowboard season. End of discussion. And even that’s total crap. Winter is snowboarding, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, gymnastics, dance, and religion. But no school sports.) Softball, dance, gymnastics, volleyball, orchestra – those are the voluntary ones. Religion, not state mandated, is required by me.

These are choices we make.

In my imaginary world, the one I created as a child, my family would be active and participate in the world. We would greet each other with a smile in the morning, go our separate ways until after whatever sports or music practice was over, and would gather ’round the dinner table and ask, “How was your day?” And we do get to eat together…once in a while. More often than not in the spring, summer, and fall months dinner may consists of grabbing whatever is handy, eating around the kitchen island in shifts. Whoever is home will eat together, then the next crew, followed by second and third dinners (I am raising hobbits) after practice or rehearsals.

Growing up Wednesday nights were off limits for all school or extra-curricular activities. It was a given. Here that is true for middle school (grades 6-8) activities for the most part. But it doesn’t apply to club sports. Or board meetings for adults. Because the family with busy, active kids comes from a set of busy, active parents. My husband and I are both on boards, volunteer throughout the year, and coach.

When we commit to a team we commit to the schedule. To bow out is to let down the team. But when did youth activities become so consuming? When did the first slip of the slippery slope begin? And how do we not get caught up in the tidal wave of activities and schedules? How do we say “No” to practice that falls on a holiday weekend or not play in a tournament that falls on Father’s Day? Do we take the punishment of reduced playing time or sitting the bench in order to maintain freedom? Or do we suck it up, go, and deal with the consequences of being constantly busy? When did the shift happen? So slowly that we didn’t notice our weekends being consumed one by one, over and over until we’re left with little down time?

I recently read an article by Gunmetal Geisha – you can read it here (and you should!). She dialed in on how marketing has us always thinking ahead – missing the moment we should be enjoying RIGHT now. Why in the world is it possible to walking into a store on February 13th purchase Easter eggs but not Valentines? Why do we always have to be 17 steps ahead of where we need to be tomorrow? It made me realize I tend to measure days by our busy. It’s become a marker of time and season for me.

In the summer I tend to shut down. We watch more television than we should, lay around, play in the pool, and play with friends. I don’t have my kids in camps and classes. Often feel a little like I’m letting them down. But this is one time of the year where we can just be…and not worry about where we need to be during the day.

I’ve been pondering how to take back time for my family. How to incorporate the activities they love and the time we need to connect as a family? And the only conclusion I’ve come to is….we travel as a pack. We snowboard together. Why not attend ball games together? Concerts? Forced Family Fun is only a little tongue in cheek…we do often force everyone to come to an event even if they are not participating. More often than not we end up having a good time and the ones watching support the ones participating as only siblings can do….by making fun of them. But it’s INTERACTION in the HERE AND NOW.

I’ve decided to embrace the crazy, love every minute I can, suffer through the minutes I can’t, and smile every single chance I get. And try to not sign up for any more than we can handle. Because at the end of the day…we’re in charge of our busy and how we handle it. As long as I stay in the here and now….I can keep us focused on what matters…our family.

For years I’ve kept a secret. It eats me up inside and I’ve decided it’s time to come clean. In the past three months two new temptations have led me to this confession.

I love to huff newborn baby heads.

That smell. That amazing, sweet, glorious scent only found on babies’ heads. I could breathe deeply and slowly all day long. There would most likely be a bald spot from the constant inhaling I would do given the opportunity to hold a little one for as long as possible. The immense pleasure I find in the huffing of baby heads is indescribable. I think one of the reasons I had so many children was to get my fix.

My baby is eight and no longer has that huffable new baby smell. She’s more likely to wear “I’ve played in the yard for five hours straight while wearing sunscreen and sweating profusely” eau de parfum. And the teenagers…wow. Just wow. I can’t handle perfume in general – it triggers migraines for me – but sometimes I’d rather have a headache than deal with the odor of multiple kids playing multiple sports in all kinds of weather. I’ve driven home with my head literally out the window of my tuck.

But I digress.

I love to smell those new babies, hold them, and have them hold a finger of mine. And then when they want mama or daddy, I hand them over, and walk away! I get to enjoy those little creatures but don’t have to do any of the work! This is the life!

I had dreams of being retired and white haired, rocking new born babies in the hospital while their mamas rested. My friend who’s an OB nurse informed me that practice stopped years ago. Evidently they don’t let just any white haired lady waltz in and rock fussy babies. I. Was. DEVASTATED? What am I going to do in retirement? How will I get my huffable baby head fix?!

I’ll deal with retirement…in retirement. For now…I have new family members to meet and huff cuddle.

I look forward to huffing holding my newest great-nephew and great-niece sooner than later. I need my fix. NOW! So if I ask to smell your baby I swear I’m not a weirdo. I just have an appreciation for the finer things in life. And I will return your child shortly. Or when they cry or need a new diaper.

I swear I can smell his sweet head through this picture. (here’s one of the newest babies for your viewing! Posted with his parents’ permission of course!)

We are hitting the road once again. When I tell people we’re driving to Colorado to snowboard they assume we live near Colorado. “How far of a drive is it for you?” I am frequently asked.

“15 hours.”

“Whaaaaaaa? As much as you go, I thought you lived closer than that! You must really like to snowboard!”

Yes I do. We all do. And we drive because – honestly – flying with a family of six, oversized bags (times six), renting a vehicle (big enough to hold six plus those oversized bags), and then coming home again is too much. We load up our vehicle – pretty much have it down to a science by now – listen to podcasts and comedians – and drive.

We actually connect a little bit now and again while trapped inside one vehicle for the day. It isn’t constant, if isn’t always perfect, but we bond over comedy, music, and even couple of NPR shows that inspire conversation. I know time is quickly passing and my kids will be moving out and onto their next stage in life. Sooner than later.

I treasure our time in the car. The miles may be long and the butts numb but my heart is full and there’s usually a smile on my face. So bring on the road trips. Let’s see some of this country and get some snowboarding in along the way!

I had the honor of meeting both Norine and Jessica at BlogU! Norine and Jessica are two of the funniest and real bloggers I’ve met. I hope you enjoy the interview! Check out all of their books but especially this latest one!

Norine: We love to make parents laugh! Which is great because that’s exactly what our book, Science of Parenthood: Thoroughly Unscientific Explanations for Utterly Baffling Parenting Situations is meant to do. A natural extension of our illustrated humor blog, Science of Parenthood, our book uses real concepts from biology, chemistry, physics and math to “explain” all those bizarre parenting conundrums that seem to defy explanation: How come your kid only pukes when you’re the only one around to clean up? Why can’t your kid hear you tell her to pick up her toys but is able to hear the tinkle of the ice cream truck five miles away? How do adults get through an episode of Caillou or Pepa Pig? We’ve got the answers! (Of course, we could be wrong.)

Jessica: Norine strong-armed me into becoming a cartoonist, I had no plans to do that! I’ve been a web designer for the past 16 years and have a BFA in Painting. My father is a cartoonist, so that really seemed like his territory; I hadn’t ever really considered it. And yet, here I am. I guess you can’t deny your nature. Now there will be three books out there with my cartoons in them. I’m still not quite sure how that happened.

If you could tweet your favorite part of being Science of Parenthood what would we read on Twitter?

Norine: “Laughing … so we’re not sobbing.”

On your blog page www.ScienceofParenthood.com you have both The Big Book of Parenting Tweets and The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets. How did you transition into the newest book Science of Parenthood and will you sell them as a set anytime?!?!

Jessica: Oh, I think we could sell them as a set! The Science of Parenthood book was in the works from day one, but the Tweets books were a sudden middle of the night inspiration last October, that I HAD to act on.

What is the comment you hear most frequently? Compliment?

Norine: “Do you have a spy camera set up in my house?” We’re all about finding the funny in the universal parenting angst, so the best compliment we can hear is, “That’s SO true!” or “My kid just did THAT!”

On your website www.ScienceofParenthood.com you mention being one of Parenting.com‘s “blog every parents should read.” What is the one piece of advice you’d give a parent teetering on the edge of smashing that last goldfish or giving into a stubborn child?

Norine: Parenting is difficult and stressful and frustrating. That’s why we’re in the humor business, to help alleviate some of that stress. We’ve all had those “wanna scream” moments. Maybe some of your readers are having them now! But if you can take a breath, step back and find the ridiculous in the situation, the horrible and humiliating becomes easier to roll with. (Though sometimes, you need a few deep breaths!) I’ll never forget this one time when my son was 2. I was about to take him for a walk in his stroller. I’d stopped to use the bathroom before we headed out, and he’d climbed onto my lap and put his head on my chest. As I was basking in the sweetness of the moment, he vomited all over me. Absolutely disgusting at the time. But I love telling the story now.

Jessica: Back away and find a distraction for yourself, preferably with laughter. For some parents that’s Twitter or Facebook, for others it’s a good book (hint hint) or a favorite show. Try to get OUT of the moment. In all likelihood whatever is setting your hair on fire RIGHT NOW won’t seem like such a big deal with a little time and space.

Star Wars or Minecraft? Good, bad, savior, evil? GO!

Norine: As much fun as we make of Minecraft, I do like the building and creating aspect of it. And some days my work days definitely feel like they’re “made possible” by Minecraft — especially teacher workdays. I do wish there was an “undo” button though. We’ve experienced many tears when things have disappeared, gotten stolen or destroyed. Last summer, my son lost a house he’d spent a lot of time on when another player accidentally set it on fire. The damage was virtual but the loss was real. I could have used an “undo” button that day.

Jessica: Oh, Minecraft is great! Relatively guilt-free parental time buyer. My son isn’t really into Star Wars, but when we were kids, my brothers were all about it. It will be interesting to see if that changes when the new movies come out. Now, if there was a Minecraft movie…

Jessica: When Holden was small we both loved Dan Zanes. Luckily he never got into any music that was too terribly annoying, other than the Caillou or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song *stabs self in ear.* Of course, he didn’t control the radio. I don’t have a true favorite, but I do like me some funk.

Norine: With a great arrangement, even kid music is fabulous. When my son was a baby, my mother-in-law bought him the Baby Loves Jazz CD, featuring really swinging versions of kid classics like Farmer in the Dell and Three Blind Mice. Throw in some phat horns and just about anything will sound awesome. Nowadays, I rely on my kid to keep me current with pop music. One night, Jessica and her son were at my sister’s house for dinner, and of the nine people around the table, the only ones who knew what Gangam Style was were her son, 9, and mine, 7. Without my kid, I wouldn’t know how to Whip or Nae Nae.

What is your preferred method of writing? Do you sit and pound out a book in a month on the computer or do you take paper notes?

Norine: I WISH I wrote that fast. I am the world’s slowest writer. Our Science of Parenthood book took about a year to write and rewrite and rewrite some more. I’d probably still be rewriting, but Jessica cut me off … and our publisher demanded the manuscript! Much of our book started on legal pads or blank pieces of paper, as we sketched out diagrams and graphs and charts. Jessica and I often post drafts of written pieces in Google docs and then edit together.

Jessica: I have a very short attention span. After about an hour and half of doing any one thing, I’m done. As long as I mix up my task list, I’m okay. A little drawing, a little writing, a little web design, just keep the cycle spinning, and I can go for hours. I’m amazed by writers who can chain themselves to a desk for eight hours a day. The Tweets books came together very quickly because WE didn’t have to do very much writing, the tweeps did all of that for the most part, and it was already completed. So I would cycle through tweet voting, layout design, cartooning, some intro writing, there were enough different tasks that I could crank through a day without going nuts.

Tell us where we can get your book and where we can leave an amazing review after reading it!! (there will be links at the beginning and end too!)

Norine: Science of Parenthood is available in bookstores and on Amazon as a print and ebook. (http://amzn.to/1DcVllh). It’s also available on our own site, www.scienceofparenthood.com. And thank you for asking about reviews. Leaving even a brief review on Amazon and Goodreads is incredibly helpful to independent authors.

From the peanut gallery that inspires my blog…

Mom – why are you talking to your internet people again? – Wait – that one’s for me. (But do you get that question?)

Norine: Ha! I love my Internet people!

Jessica: I hear “get off your phone!” way more than I’d care to.

Do you have a dog or pet? What are their names and why do they have those names?

Norine: In our house, we have three cats. There’s Squeak (a long-haired part-Maine Coon), who squeaked as a kitten and thus got her name. There’s Piewacket (a tuxedo cat) who was named for the cat in Bell, Book and Candle. And Cinder (a gray and black striped kitty) named by my sone for one of the characters in the Warriors series he’s reading.

Jessica: We have a border collie named Simba. He was a rescue and came with his name, I think he must have looked a bit like a little lion as a puppy. We also have my brother’s cat temporarily, named Omee, which came from “Oh me, oh my.”

Fuzzy socks or slippers?

Norine: Fuzzy socks all the way!

Jessica: I have slippers that are fuzzy on the inside…

What is your favorite place to go shopping (from the 13 year old girl!)?

Jessica: You’d THINK it was Costco or Target, I’m there often enough. I’m a total bargain hunter, so probably TJ Maxx My13-year-old self is dying a little on the inside for admitting that. TJ Maxx was NOT COOL when I was young.

I’ve never been tiny. I’m not built to be little. That doesn’t mean I should be overweight either.

In the past six months I’ve lost about 30 pounds. Most don’t notice but a few here and there have. I don’t always notice.

I still see the fat girl in the mirror.

One would think I would notice the muscles I’ve built or the loose fit of pants I had to jump off the bed to get in six months ago. I have started to take note when running is so much easier than it used to be. I’ve run a marathon and many half marathons. At a heavier weight. I wonder what I could do now…..

Most days I just find the things I’ve done wrong. Today I ate all the food. And I mean all the food. Except that even that isn’t true. Compared to what I would have considered a failed eating day six months ago, today was a gold star day. But I’m feeling gross and like I just undid all the good I’ve done. I logically know that is untrue but emotionally it feels like it. I am fearful of gaining any weight back because what if it is the start of a way back to where I was?

I don’t remember ever being comfortable in my skin. I was the fat kid. I was chubby and had the nicknames of “Miss Piggy” and the “Human Garbage Disposal.” I would eat anything. Salad. Green beans. Meatloaf. My favorite thing was and still is tomatoes. Not the foods you think of when you think of the “sturdy`” kid. I very clearly remember the first time someone called me fat at school and someone else giggled. I was 9.

When I look back at pictures I don’t see a fat kid. I see a healthy kid. One who didn’t realize everyone was trying to find their place. I was an easy target because I didn’t believe in myself and was always trying to please everyone. My junior year of high school I had my physical and was MORTIFIED by the 127 pounds on my report. I tried to change it to make it look like “119” because 120 was the fat marker in my head.

One of my favorite recent marketing campaigns is the one where 5 women who weigh exactly the same amount are pictured. And how dramatically different they all look. It was eye opening to me and made me realize the scale is only one indicator of health.

I’ve changed my body and many of my habits. Now it’s time to work on teaching my mind to see what’s real and let go of the imagined.

In the upper Midwest summer means a lot of 80 degree days and a few scorchers. Regardless it means sunscreen. And I use a lot of sunscreen.

Evidently expired sunscreen.

I applied the lovely spray lotion sunscreen three times in one afternoon on my blonde haired, blue eyed daughter and her red headed cousin. Until Littlest came along my children, while requiring sunscreen to prevent skin cancer, do fine in the sun with limited sunblock. They tan and rarely burn. Then I had this blonde child and now I’m uber aware of the sun’s intensity and the time between applications.

Expired sunscreen doesn’t work well. Maybe it has to be applied every 8 minutes and not every 60. I don’t know. I do, however, know I didn’t use it frequently enough.

Littlest got fried. I thought she had the worst burn I’d ever observed until I got a text from my sister in law.

Bad Auntie.

It gets better. Or worse if you’re my children or niece.

I know extremely little about gardening and plants. We had what I thought were wild carrots growing around our garden. They smell like carrots when you break the stalk. They look like carrots when you dig them up. My neighbor kindly asked several times if I was sure they were carrots and stubborn as I am I answered, “Pretty darn sure.” The kids asked if they could dig some up. “Sure kids, go play in the weeds!” Now infamous last words in my house.

My sister in law texted me today asking about poison ivy. I said, “I don’t think we have any but it’s possible!” She sent me these pictures. A terrible sunburn wasn’t bad enough, I exposed her child to something in our weeds.

My children love active strips (aka bandaids by another manufacturer). When I peeled several off Littlest I found the same huge blisters from which my niece is suffering. A friend came over and thought poison oak or poison sumac. A third friend when I showed her the pictures iimmediately said “wild parsnip.” (And it’s Awesome Amy with the win!) Luckily the roots are NOT poisonous as the girls tried to eat some after I gave them permission.

The stupid wild parsnip is in the same area the kids threw several packets of carrots seeds a few years ago so my DUMB assumption had a little basis…but not enough.

So consider this your PSA – don’t play with wild parsnip. It hurts. Over 75 blisters between the three girls with my niece being the hardest hit having more than 40 herself.

The lesson here is I sunburn and plant burn children. Send them my way at your – or their – own risk.

Welcome to Take Two of May’s Secret Subject Swap. This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Fill in the blank and explain….”I remember the first time I _______, and it sucked!” This awesome prompt was submitted by : Black Sheep Mom

Ohhhhh…. the things I could fill in that blank…but my mother may read this so…..

I remember the first time I MADE KOOLAID ALL BY MYSELF, and it sucked!

I was 4. I remember asking my brother to help me …. if i was 4 he was 16 or so….and he most likely didn’t want to be bothered by his annoying littlest sister. (Not the most annoying…there were two others…but I was the littlest…therefore the most exempt from contempt.) He was busy doing something grown up and “Important.”

Man – that drawer was hard to pull out. And I had to pull it out a long ways. And the one on top of it …but not so far. And then if I carefully balanced on the lowest drawer, I could use the edges like steps and climb up to where the Koolaid and Sugar lived. And the container. You know the ones that have that weird little knob on top that you can push down to make it stay on real good? Yeah – that one. The orange one with the yellow flowers. (Yes…it was the late 70’s.)

I remembered watching my sister – who’s name I was taught to spell like this – M-O-N-K-E-Y (and you all wonder why I can’t spell today – M and L sound NOTHING alike!) dump in that yummy packet. Then the sugar. I think they used this big ol’ glass cup with numbers on it. Yeah – this is the one. Definitely….I think.

Now….the magic. Add water and see the colors mix around. Look at the swirls! Oh wow. Look at the bubbles and foam.

I guess I should turn off the sprayer. I’m not really suppose to use it because it leaks somewhere and Mom doesn’t much like it when she sees the water I spray all over when I use it.

I yell at everyone to come see what I did ALL BY MYSELF. I MADE KOOLAID. Never mind I broke like 12 rules to get it done. I did it damnit! (Oh yeah – I had a habit of swearing as a kid….ask my dad about that one…….or rather where I could have ever learned such language.)

I did it allll by myself. I made Koolaid………with hot water.

It was soooo gross. I started bawling.

…

And my sister made some more for me and showed me which way to turn the handle to make the water cold next time. (Collective “Awwwwwww”)

And now I’ve mastered making koolaid. I’m all good. I even add ice cubes now!

EJ out – to enjoy this strange sunshiny weather!

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Really dude? Are you seriously yelling and slamming your hand down loudly on the metal storage bin holding the ball equipment?

At my KID?!?!

You.Did.Not.Just.Do.That.

Oh yeah- you did. I heard you from across the field where I was talking to other moms and pretending to not be watching each and EVERY move and call my son makes as umpire.

And now…I’m sitting right here on the bleacher, behind the plate…between your sorry arse and my son’s ears….listening to every word you say and if you even think of being unsportsmanlike towards my 13 year old KID who is umpiring 8 year old boys baseball…………I will be quietly reminding you where we are and how we, as adults, should behave and model attitudes we want to foster in our children.

In my head…..I will be ripping your arse a new one. Who the hell do you think you are?!?! Leave the kid alone?! They.are.kids.

There is a reason the first year umpires are placed with this league – the kids are still learning to play ball and my kid knows ball but is learning to umpire.

I continue to read about bad behavior…by parents at their children’s sporting events. What is WRONG with people?!?! I get into the game and have been known to quietly disagree with a call but never would I yell or SWEAR?!?! at an umpire. N.E.V.E.R. Or at another player. Trash talking is NOT cool. We tell the other team’s players nice hit if they rip one out of the park…or good job pitching…or nice scoop there catch!

I grew up in an umpiring and referring family. My dad refereed and umped high school sports mainly…and some college here and there. (Only once…ONE time did he referee my game…that’s a story for another post…let’s just say I didn’t say a word to him for three days!) Never did I see players think about mouthing off to my dad. The coaches may try…and get kicked out. The players may try..and their coaches would squash that crap immediately. Parents knew their place.

Now….we as parents are regularly reminded to have good behavior. Even have to sign contracts for some sports. I think it’s a sad thing that we have to agree IN WRITING to behave…like adults.

I think everyone should be held accountable for their actions. But the act of being a complete and total idiot?!? You should get your arse kicked out and that’s that. “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

Excitement is one thing. Stupidity and meanness is another.

Come on parents. Let’s do this right. Let’s show our kids how to behave and teach them the proper way to play sports. And the proper way to dispute. Disputing is all good. When done properly and in an UNTHREATENING manner. In doing his job, by showing a bunch of 8 year olds that yelling at a big kid gets no results (he held his ground – GO my KID) my son showed more integrity than this individual has in the tip of his tiny finger.

EJ out – to catch puke from Littlest Spawn. Happy First Night of Summer…gah.

Take a minute and click on that juggling lady up there. You can vote DAILY for me by click on her smiling face. One click. That’s it. You’ll be redirected to Top Mommy Blogs….you’re done. Nothing else has to be done. Thanks so much!!!!

It’s funny how a series of events – when considered as a whole – seem crazy. Then one moment or comment puts it all in perspective. Or maybe a couple of comments.

(If you’re new to my blog – I am currently fighting off PTSD from all the events surrounding the creation of Evil Joy and Dr. Evil. You can read about how it all started here and here.)

In the last 10 months I’ve started to deal with the emotions and consequences of all that happened. Before I thought I was. Been seeing a therapist for over a year. But until 10 months ago I didn’t really accept I wasn’t dealing. I was going through the motions and making the appropriate responses. Now…I’m dealing. (Sort of – the “currently fighting off PTSD” versus experiencing it…..well…yeah…that speaks to my attitude at times….)

Dealing with the reason ambulances make me cry. Dealing with the fact that I ROCK under pressure. Then CrUmBlE after – and over and over. Dealing with crying – learning and ACCEPTING it’s okay to cry. We went through a lot. And once I quit trying to make it stop and accept the emotions – it’s not so bad.

I mean…what happened….that is the stuff of nightmares and horror movies for any wife and mother. And if you know me – let’s just say “worry wart” doesn’t even touch the tip of the crazy that is me. And that was ‘before.’ Now…”worry goiter” may be a little closer to the truth. Like this weekend. Dr. Evil was fine all day on Saturday and we did some work at his sister’s home – helped get it ready for market. On the way home – he started sneezing and was super congested. Now…normally I’d be like, “Suck it up – you’re fine.” Except not with him. He never complains. Ever. So asking if he feels okay is pointless. All night long I kept waking myself up checking to see if he was breathing.

Also in the last 10 months I’ve been at several medical scenes. A friend experienced extreme low blood sugar. Another collapsed at the gym. Another was in a car accident where Awesome Amy and I were some of the first passer-bys to stop and assist. And Friday I witnessed someone either have a stroke or seizure and drive their car down a steep embankment into a ditch…right next the interstate entrance ramp. I was one of the first people down to the ‘scene’ but was too damn short to open the car door (it was locked and the window was down but I couldn’t reach). Each and every one of these effing events had several police cars, ambulances and on occasion a fire truck present. Before Dr. Evil and his ambulance and illness experiences, I would have been upset but not to this level. It triggers everything all over again.

While each of these events occurred I was fine. My friend – the parent of someone in the car accident said, “If anyone had to call me, I glad it was Joy.” I do well in pressure situations. I function and do what needs to be done. After.. I turn into a shaking sobbing mess. And still am when I think about it. So I’ve learned to accept the emotion, experience it and let it roll off me. (Very zen of me, right? Imagine me in the lotus pose looking peaceful….)

Zen Evil Joy with Required Coffee Producing Zen.

..

Anyway – Sunday morning I was at the gym. I am stuck on an elliptical machine until the marathon – stupid IT band. I am following doctor’s order to a ‘T’ (bowing at you IT band – you rule me….for now….ggggrrrrrr). He said I should be fine to run the marathon – just do what he says. That meant four – 4 – FOUR hours on an EVIL Elliptical Machine on Sunday. I was okay with it. I was wishing I could be outside just running 15 miles instead. (That makes me a real runner now, right? I want my ‘I’m a real runner’ badge!)

I ran into someone from my old gym. Super nice gentleman. Always a kind word and smile. ALWAYS. Told him about the marathon and he asked why. I sort of had to ask myself that. It’s on my bucket list for 40. But the real reason why….Dr. Evil asked me if I wanted to way back in September or something. And I made some flippant comment (no…I never do that…) about since he didn’t die and all…. My friend didn’t know what had happened. I shared our experience. And a few tears.

And it was okay. It was really okay. The first time in a long time I’ve been able to tell someone about what happened, been a little sad, and then…was okay. I did my time – I mean my workout – and I was fine.

It’s all good. Life is good. Perspective is a beautiful thing.

EJ out – to enjoy today.

I’m clinging to the Top 25 Humor Blogs on Top Mommy Blogs. Help a girl out. Click on that juggling lady up there on the right. If you don’t see her, click on the title of this post and that’ll take you to my site. If you’re on a mobile device, scroll down all the way and you should see this talented juggling lady. One click. You’ll be taken to the Top Mommy Blogs website. You’re done. You don’t have to do anything else. Thanks!!!!

Years ago we stumbled (or we fell out of the bar and landed on her, can’t remember) a wonderful blogger named MOMMY’S KICKING CANCER’S ASS. Because she did not call the cops when one of our hookers grabbed her favorite pair of shoes and tried them on, we adopted her. She became our House Mom. We’ve loved her from day one.

Well, as you can tell from the name, she’s in a battle for her life. She has been for a very long time. She is still fighting with all she has, but she’s also to the point instead of making it about cancer, it’s about making memories and showing love. We’re all about showing love. We wanted to show her some love.

So, ,we decided to do a fund raiser for her. It will be in July. It will be an online THIRTY ONE party. We have found one of the best reps in the business when it comes to fund raising. Because she loves Kelly as much as we do, she’s not only working day and night on this project, she’s donating to it also. How freaking cool is that shit?

We have set up a fan page for this project. Even if you don’t plan on buying, could ya like her fan page and pass the project on to others? That would be super.. thanks.. Dutchess, make a note that we need to stick a couple extra doobies in their Christmas stocking this year.

Now, for those of you that are just sobering up tuning in and have not had your first hit of the day cup of coffee, let me explain what Thirty One is.

It’s like the coolest thing since the filter free self absorbing doobie was invented..

Here is just a small taste of my collection.

Think you don’t need this stuff? Hey I felt that way too. Dutchess sent me out on a hunt for “brownie mix” one day. I went down to our local Farmer’s Market to see if I could score some good stuff. A lady there was selling this stuff. I rolled my eyes and moved on.. Then, someone I’m close to started selling it and I helped her out by hosting a party.. INSTANT ADDICTION.. the quality and versatility of this product makes it so easy to love. The fact that the company stands behind each product makes it win win.

My favorite product of all is the one we call the diaper bag.. not what they call it, but we own hookers.. it’s what we call it.. You will see I have a pink one and a purple one. I keep my knitting in the pink one, and the purple one is always packed with stuff to take on a road trip with OC.

The green one (there is a matching empty pink one in the front). That is the one I keep all the bug spray, spf sun screen and hand wipes in. It’s always ready to load and go at a moments notice.

The two bags in the back (one is tan one is purple) are the retro metro weekenders. I keep ONE packed at all times for over night stays at the Majors and I keep the tan one packed at all times for an emergency long distance, stay awhile bag. Both of these serve double duty as they are stored in my tornado closet. Not only extra protection if we are hit, but there is everything i need for a few days in there with me.

The Large utility tote in the back ( I own two) holds 30 extra large rolls of toilet paper. Again, it stores in the tornado closet.. extra padding.. and let’s face it.. if I ever get hit by a tornado.. I’m gonna crap my pants.. win win on the large utility tote.. The second one I use as a laundry bag since they have lids, and I walk across the street to do laundry. Don’t want my unmentionables flying all over main street.

The pink square totes (again i have two) are always in the closet on the floor. I use them for a lot of things but at this point one has the swim gear in it and the other has my winter shoes in it.

Now, let’s talk purses and the Cindy Tote. Hell yay.. the Cindy tote has become my favorite. I can put my Kindle, Kindle fire and aspire computer and all their attachments in the original ( no longer made) cosmetic bag. I like doing that because the attachments have little plastic attached bags inside.. and then slip that in the Cindy Tote. Then there is still room for my purse, my phone, and a zipper pocket where I can keep my arm brace, my meds, and two packs of cigs. I love the Cindy Tote..

If you hit up the fan page later, you will be seeing a lot of pictures of this stuff in use.

Again, it’s a fund raiser.. so dip into the beer, gin, doobie, brownie, vodka, stash and grab you a piece of this. if you can’t do that (hard times right now) please please please promote this effort to help make a difference in our favorite Warriors life, and the lives of her husband and kids.