exploring heart and soul matters as I journey through the mind fields of life

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

JADED!

One of the many things I love about dreamwork is that you don’t have to get the message right away. If you let it sit with you, your dreams, coincidences, or your life will offer up the connection that delivers insight. Such is the case with the 3rd coincidence JADED that I wrote about yesterday.

What was behind the need to write about and explore this coincidence?

Why now?

Every year at about this time a feeling of insidious melancholy creeps up on me. The chill in the air, the shortening of days and the morning dew that appears on the blades of grass bring with them a feeling of longing that grows deep and dark, penetrating my very core. And, true to form this year is no exception.

When I look at my life there is nothing to be worn and weary about, but its tone is contained within nature’s changing seasons. Am I too not a product of nature? Water stirs in my bones, tissues, and cells; the moon and the tides are evidence of its capacity for plasticity. What makes me expect that I should be consistent; remain unaffected?

In last night’s dream I am returning to school. Moving to a higher level; excitement coupled with loss.

Leaving loved ones and dreams behind – some by choice, others have chosen to leave me. Relationships change, “We only have so much energy to expend. One must choose to bring relationships into right relation.” says a friend living the immediacy of the battle between life and death that cancer brings.

FALL – I fall back in time. A time of harvest, of good byes, celebration, appreciation, regrets, gratitude. It is a time for laying the fields to rest. Paths taken at the expense of others; words spoken, those left unuttered; choices made consciously or by omission revisit my soul in this the season of the days of reckoning.

I am being tugged away from the vibrancy and the distractions of summer before I am ready to embrace the journey towards winter’s dormancy. Though I know it is inevitable it is ever so! Resisting the cycle I cling to stories of past choices and futures lost which play over and over, intensifying, torturing and entangling me in their web.

…If this I choose.

The recollection of and the need to write about the coincidence of JADED was perhaps meant to do nothing more than lift my spirits or maybe it is the way to something more.