Friday, June 30

learning how to walk alone. being in a diff school alone isnt tat easy.

falling down and find a helping hand by ur side. meeting friends tat helped me to get up when i fall.

learning to follow ppl's footstep and learning to walk BY ppl, not IN FRONT of ppl... making frens and having a bond with dem... u'll learn to prioritise dem 1st no matter wat... u'll learn to think of dem 1st b4 u do anything...

falling down n getting up by urself. learning that you cant always depend on ppl to be there for you. ppl have their own probz too... learning to cry n suck it up, den getting up on both of my feet...

learning to trust n depend on myself.

fall in love! appreciatting love and everyone around u... learning tat friends always comes in BEFORE the boyfriends...

learning to take the lead. i realised in school that i am capable of being a leader. jus tat i would always prefer to be pampered and manja-ed. which gurl dowan la? u tink everyone wanna b tomboy??

studying... learning to balance out work and play, not to the left, not to the right. balance is the guide! NAAHH..more play, less work..thats my balance.

learning the art of checking out boys. my priority has an order "skin-> eyes->smile-> arse! -> shoulders-> proportions"

learning to give up. when things happen, so be it! work with watever u hav...dun whine! i ain't no whiner!!

Five of your singers/ bands

bee gees

beatles

bryan adams

micheal b

savage garden

five things u would do if u were a millionaire

go hike every mountain available (at least try to)

house in the outskirts (lots of green please!!), if its on a hill even better!!(dinner wit the sunset please!!)

charity! the sick, the homeless and the animals...

get myself tons of different convertable rides!!!i love the wind in my hair!!

get a stylist! i'm such a fashion idiot! how to look like a millionaire? mayb hire BT!!

Five things i like doin

eating *mmmm*

reading

sleeping *ZzzZ*

getting free hugs!

getting free massage! not too hard!! geli!!

Five things i would nvr buy, wear or get

cigarettes

drugs

bright pink heels / pumps /any shoe!!

g-string bikini!! URgh!!

one thing i'll nvr get for sure... i won't be getting any taller or thinner!!!

wat should i do? how can i move on? ur always there..haunting my every move, my every step, my every thoughts, my every breath... when will i b free? when can i finally move on? when? when will i be able to sense the butterflies and the flutter of love? when will my courage come back to me?when?!

i feel so dead now. emptiness in me so strong. i loath myself for this... i hate myself for the need to cry every day...but wat can i do?

family is getting pissed at me for being emo all the time. mom told me that life isnt easy, mine isnt, hers isnt too. so i shud not show it to the whole wide world tat i had a bad day. quote " u tink ur the only one wit a bad day? no one wans to c ur moppin face around here k? so jus go upstairs n suck it up!"unquote. and so i did.... ... ...

i went upstairs, close the doors and cried. i cried my lungs out. i cried all my fear, all my tears, all my stress, all my sadness out. i cried everything out. it took me 20mins. then i went back downstairs...all smiling and well...and i had my dinner.

i guess thats all i can do. nthg else. i shudn't bother ppl around wit my probs. i shouldn't be so selfish. plus, everyone has their own probz...y bother n burden dem wit mine? so i shall have my 20 mins everyday. as thats my only salvation.... ... ...i miss my frens... i miss our old time gathering where we could jus sit n chat... at least we had each other then... at least we have a companion... someone where we can jus feel comfortable enuff to cry in front of dem and noe that they wouldnt mind...noe that they'll be there...the journey now...its jus plain awful... so lonely and horrifying... no one is ever there... all i have is my work, tons n tons of work... thats all....so empty...

Thursday, June 29

ppl remind me everyday that i shud keep it to myself when i'm emo... coz i will affect the ppl around me.... but... I"M NOT HAPPY K? AND I AIN'T SO SELFLESS!! i'm practically a selfish, self centred biatch!!

the closer u wan us to be...the further i'll push u away... it hurts...it really does... u keep reminding me of sumone... when u push me n force me...u reminded me of sumone tat i would want to forget.... he left a wound in me... and it stil ain't healing...i hate you!! u still haunt me after so long... i hate you for killing me...its over...but y? y doesn't the memories fade? y doesnt the tears stop? u took away my courage, u took away my strenght, u took away my joy...u hurt me, and i'll never smile the same way again... u made me timid, and u made me a coward... i'm afraid now, afraid of life...LOVE is now nothing but lies and betrayal... and i hate u for tat... and i loath myself even more for that...i'm dead... i made myself numb... i force myself to feel nothing... i try to block all emotions away for me...so that the pain would stop eventually... so that mayb...jus mayb i could live again... jus mayb...when will u ever understand me? when will u stop forcing me? ur driving me away...and i dun wan to... i really dont wan to....::3niGma::

Wednesday, June 28

tday was.... RANDOM...haih...reach school around 12.15pm to catch Y's fashion show...but it finished when i reach!!! it was suppose to be from 12-1!! apalah...15 mins den no more??? GgGggrRRrR...hehe..aM3 look soooo cute wit her cap!! so "wartawan" like... akakak...den had lunch wit BT n aM3...allh, y izzit tat some ppl jus dun finish their food?? i dun like la...so wasting...heheh....its jus a mindset la...DUN WASTE!!!! jier!!!2&3D wasnt tat gud either...ET got 4/5!! he did like sooo cin chai!! while aM3 n i struggled n slaved over ours n got only 3/5!! no fair!!! GgGRRrrrrrRrrR.... haihs....J keeps clinging on to me!! n i dun like it!! ANY guy..ur attractive until u start on the clingy mode!!! i dun like!! i tried to hav dinner wit BT tday..ended up the 3 THREE of us....GgrRrrRRGgGg.....i went on a bryan adams marathon tday!! woohoo...i love him!!! husky voice...emo songs... *melts*Please Forgive MeIt still feels like our first night togetherFeels like the first kiss and it's gettin' better babyNo one can better thisI'm still holdin' on and you're still the oneThe first time our eyes met - it's the same feelin' i getOnly feels much stronger - i wanna love ya longerYou still turn the fire on...So if you're feelin' lonely ... don'tYou're the only one I'd ever wantI only wanna make it goodSo if I love ya a little more than i should...Please forgive me - i know not what i doPlease forgive me - i can't stop lovin' youdon't deny me - this pain i'm going throughPlease forgive me - if i need ya like i doPlease believe me - every word i say is truePlease forgive me - i can't stop lovin' youStill feels like our best times are togetherFeels like the first touchWe're still gettin' closer babyCan't get close enoughI'm still holdin' on - you're still number oneI remember the smell of your skinI remember everythingI remember all your moves - i remember youI remember the nights - ya know i still doSo if you're feeling lonely... don'tYou're the only one i'd ever wantI only wanna make it goodSo if I love ya a little more than i shouldPlease forgive me - i know not what i doPlease forgive me - i can't stop lovin' youDon't deny me - this pain i'm going throughPlease forgive me - if i need ya like i doPlease believe me - every word i say is truePlease forgive me - i can't stop lovin' youOne thing i'm sure of - is the way we make loveAnd the one thing i depend onIs for us to stay strongWith every word and every breath i'm prayin'That's why i'm sayin'...Please forgive me - i know not what i doPlease forgive me - i can't stop lovin' youDon't deny me - this pain i'm going throughPlease forgive me - if i need ya like i doNever leave me - i don't know what i'd doPlease forgive me - i can't stop lovin' you

Summer Of '69 I got my first real six-stringBought it at the five-and-dimePlayed it til my fingers bledIt was the summer of '69Me and some guys from schoolHad a band and we tried real hardJimmy quit and Jody got marriedI shoulda known we'd never get farOh when I look back nowThat summer seemed to last foreverAnd if I had the choiceYa - I'd always wanna be thereThose were the best days of my lifeAin't no use in complainin'When you got a job to doSpent my evenin's down at the drive-inAnd that's when I met youStandin' on your Mama's porchYou told me that you'd wait foreverOh and when you held my handI knew that it was now or neverThose were the best days of my lifeBack in the summer of '69Man we were killin' timeWe were young and restlessWe needed to unwindI guess nothin' can last forever - forever, noAnd now the times are changin'Look at everything that's come and goneSometimes when I play that old six-stringI think about ya wonder what went wrongStandin' on your Mama's porchYou told me it would last foreverOh the way you held my handI knew that it was now or neverThose were the best days of my lifeBack in the summer of '69

Tuesday, June 27

tday is definately a gud day...met an old fren is d train... SL!!!! gawd, miss tat fella sooo much..we talked n laughed...haha...we were the noisiest in the train!!! den typo wasnt tat bad..did sum work, SUM work la...den we went online wit our new iMACs! wahahah...psychotic!!den we sang along to sum crappy OLD songs (M2M, celine dion, britney spears OLD songs!)coz we were all bored!! ngeh ngeh ngeh...lunch was satisfying...MMmmm...KFC, did i mention i ate TWO lunch? after tat, dad picked me up n we went for "tin kai porridge" aka frog porridge..as gruesome as it may sound, it was delicioous!!! woohooo!!!!

by the end of the day...i wasnt feeling very well...abit dizzy dizzy... abit feverish.. nearly fell down the stairs at the overbridge when i was goin home... M noticed tat i wasnt feeling well though...offered to gimme a ride..but dowan mafan him la... nt on the way oso... the thing is, i spent the whole afternoon wit J, he din noticed tat i wasnt feeling well at all...he even went to play d arcade wit his frens later...GGgGgRrr....:enigma:

Friday, June 23

1. i hate waking up early so tat i can at least be early for class...but ended up being late again coz the freaking bus driver wanna earn sum extra bucks!! he actually waited for 2 (TWO) trains to pass when he already has 3/4 of the bus filled!!! watthecrap!! i could've woke up later n still catch the same freaking bus!!! GGggGrRRr....

2. i hate being misunderstood...and yet i'm always misunderstood...!! no names of the victims tday ya...i jus wanna yell!! ***!!! i din ditch u tat day wit W okay??!!! i'm sorry i left u alone, but she has already told me the story, so i figured she's gonna repeat it to u again!! den BT was alone in the toilet washing all the arts stuff..i ma go help her la!!! i've already heard her story anyway!! how was i to noe tat W will zoned out suddenly??!!! i'm sorry okay?? quit saying tat i ditch u n left u to die or smthg!!!

3. i ate having lunch alone... *** went to meet up wit her high school frens tday...so ** said tat she'll teman me for lunch...went to McD, food jus arrived on the table... ** phone rang, she immediately packed up n left coz her bf comin...

4. i hate being forgotten, S was suppose to come tday...she couldn't make it... she told **** tat she couldn't come... **** din tell me!!! i waited till 2.30pm!! i could've gone home at 12.30!! and **** was in starbucks wit CK n SY... i was utterly, totally forgotten!! ARGH!!!

so here i am...alone in the college library, typing this...its raining outside... i cant go home...wat a day...

Tuesday, June 20

today was definately a"nt bad" day!!! despite d rain n being wet N late for class....all is forgiven when i stepped into typo class!!! our new pc came!! n it isn't any cacat pc upgrade wey!!! all changed to iMAC!!!! wahahahah...wooohoooo!!!!!

ngeh ngeh ngeh...den we went to summit for lunch..betty belanja...told u it was MY DAY!!!...wahahaha...had chinese meal..chicken...rice....n soup!! yeah.,..chinese soup!! we had chicken soup with vege "jeruk"...MMmmmmmmMMM....

den i went for my chinese sifu 3rd check up...tday was alright..no gruesome pic to see coz no "obvious injury"...ngeh ngeh ngeh... did d sucktion cup thingy again..but only 3 times lo..so it was alright...

Monday, June 19

finally the concert is over...relieved?? of course!! but most of all...PROUD!!! this mayb nt b a big thing for other ppl..but for me...its a milestone...this project means alot : i'm attached to the temple again..its a brand new start...chong xin kai shi... ; i'm with my old frens again..CZ, TZ, CN, L!! T...so many of dem!! ; i finally came out from hiding... i faced it!! i went up n did my best... n i tink ppl start to take me seriously now.... no longer the short noisy gal...(although still short...n noisy..at times)

Sunday, June 18

perfect? Ideal perhaps... Well, since its PERFECT, brace yourself for my version of a knight in shining armor... ;p

1. Humorous

i wan a guy tats humorous, i wan a guy tat can make me grin from ear to ear everytime i'm with him... i wan a guy tat i can laugh outloud when he's around...i'm nt talking bout stupid weird jokes tat i could never understand...i'm talking about sumone tat funny naturally, sumore tat can make me laugh witout even trying to...tats the one.

2. Witty and Capable

i dun jus wan a boyfriend, i dun jus wan a lover. i wan a companion, sumore wit a personality like me, i like to learn new stuff...i'm a very curious person. thus my ideal guy would be one tat "knows it all"... nt stuck up, show off type "know it all"...but, smart n humble... well informed too...sumone tat will share any new knowlegde he learned wit me...doesn't matter if its jus about a movie or Simpsons or about mother nature...sumone tat will astound me with new things everyday...sumone tat i can communicate n relate to coz i talk alot...i wan a guy tat can tell me his thoughts, the whole picture...not sumone tat can only tell me bits n pieces n i'll have to figure it out myself!

3. understanding

i'm a dreamer wit alot of expectations in life... i wan peace n quiet but sumtimes i can be so noisy tat i can form a "one man band"... i wan stability n security, but sumtimes i wan to be in the lime light, taking risks n taking chances... i wan freedom, but i also wan to know tat if i turn my head around he'll be there wit me, sumwhere to go back to...sumwhere to hide when i'm afraid...i wan a guy tat will let me do watever stupid crap i wanna do, but if i ever fail he'll be there straight away with open arms, telling me that its ok...i wan sumone tat can understand my passion towards small animals n my love towards the simplicity of life... i wan sumone tat isn't afraid of changes because i welcome changes...my personality changes... i wan sumone tat will change wit me, grow wit me... supporting me... comforting me...understanding me n my dreams....

4. romantic n sweet

i'm okay wit suprises..i can live witout dem too...so, my ideal guy doesn't really have to be creative type... my definition of sweet n romantic is sumone tat listens to my words n is very sensitive... wat is sweet? wat is romantic? sumone tat noes my needs witout me telling him... sumone tat will do lil small sweet gestures jus because he cares... now tats sweet! sumone tat will turn the volumne down when he saw tat ur asleep no matter how much he likes the song...sumone tat will turn down the aircond when ur dozzing off n cover u with a blanket even if he's sweating like a pig..... sumone tat will always wait for you...even if he's walking in front, he'll turn around to check if ur there... sumone tat will take all your shopping bags from your hands jus to make your hands available for him to hold... sumone tat will leave u lil short notes when u fall sick or have an important meeting later...all this lil small things...tats wat makes the difference... sumone tat will get u watever u need witout u telling him... wat can i say? i wanna be pampered but i ain't gonna say it out...

5. "presentable" of course!

*ahem* i'm into dark guys btw...my close frens would noe tat... dark guys, broad shoulders, beautiful eyes, dazzling smile... so its more to a sporty look... but i oso dig guys wit glasses n angular jawlines...the type tat u can jus stare n be mesmerized when he's serious n burried in his work... but tats the "outer part"...its nthg VERY important...its important, jus not VERY VERY important... the most important part is i wan a guys tats ready to make new frens... i dowanna have TWO different lifes... my ideal guy would be one tat is ok wit the idea of hanging out wit MY frens n also alone time... i dun mean it like a handbag tats clings everywhere...i mean like sumone tat is sociable, i wanna hang out wit my frens? sure! he doesnt need to be "in the circle"... he jus needs to be "not totally out of the circle"...hehe....tough rite?

6. Patience

i'm emo this minute, den i'm hyper the next..i'm grumpy now, den i can be super duper happy later... i can be sleepy now but i may b jumping around the nex 5 mins... plus, i'm a very active person in my temple activities n girl guides... if he's in it wit me together, tat'll be the best...if he's not, he betta not hold me back from doin em coz i love em! seriously, if he isn't patient enuff, he would have gone bonkers within the 1st week!!

the last one is abit hard to say...but its the most important wan... i wanna look into his eyes n melt....i wan to feel safe in his arms... even if i'm in deep trouble, if he's around, everything will turn out okay... i need security, i need assurance... i wan the warm fuzzy feeling when ever he say "hi" or whenever he hold my hands (preferably BIG hands)... i wanna feel butterflies in my tummy whenever i meet him even though we've been dating for years...tats the feeling i wan...

tats all....

told u tat its a bit TOO IDEALISTIC...but hey, its suppose to be PuuuUURFECT...

i cant tag 8 person coz i dun think i have 8 person reading my blog tat have their own blogs...

so i tag karen, loong n mandy!!for the sake of tagging em..betta go do ooo!!!

went to school to meet sum old pals in school!! the girl guides hav masakan rimba!! woohoo!!! i gt all dirty n muddy...plus my face was covered wit ashes coz i was trying to keep the fire goin..hehe...the gud old days..miss school la...we did the claps n dance...miss dem all..i gav SK a lift back home...MY VERY !ST PASSENGGER ooooo!!! akakak....din tell her tat, later she freak out!! wahahah....

went to temple to settle the stage, CZ look so stressed after working the whole mornin till afternoon..i had to do smthg... so i dragged him out for lunch, wanted to get him out of the stressfull situation...akakak...we went for pizza wey!!! waaahhh..how i noe he suddenly craving for pizza...the poor fella belanja me soooo many meals d..luckily its all over now..if not...haihz...he's gonna waste toooo much time n money entertaining lil old me....sowweeeeee!!!

the concert rocked!!!! whoa...i was soooo freaking nervous, i dun tink i did my best though...1st,my chinese sucked..2nd ly, soooooooooooo not natural....sowee dudes...kinda let down huh?? haihs...but other den me..i tink the rest was great...my parents came...so swwet of dem..this is the very 2nd time they came for my performance!! i feel so proud...like a lil kid on her bday!! the 1st time they came was my kindergarden sports day!! hehe....anyways, so nostalgic leaving KCBA again... i really miss my "family" there..i miss huggies from teacher L n C, LC, TZ, CN, CZ n soooo many ppl.....i miss the feeling...the whole sense of "belonging"...a very safe feeling...d feelin gtat i missed all tis while sooo badly....

anyways...its late...n tats all..i'll get the photos out soon...tata...

went for my 1nd appointment at the chinese sifu..he say its better d..but my shoulders part abit complicated coz i hunched....so, again...sum "ouch!!" n "argh!!!! " n "uupphhh!!" n of course "ccrraaccckkk!!!" i came back like this!!!

went to the temple later...settle d seat arrangment n stage back drop...TZ came!!! awww... so sweet of him...he changed sooo much!! and L, T, SG came to help out...so nice of dem...!!! n T jus came back from Sabah...so nice of dem!!! :P its already 1.01am, i jus came back from the temple...whoa...tired!!!!! but i'm happy!! hee hee...i'm goin to school tml...STAR!! girl guides gt masakan rimba tml... den i'm goin back to the temple again..haha...

the sifu said tat due to old injuries when i was young...*keep falling down on my butt!! wat can i say..i was n stil am a klutz!* i've wounded my lower back thus leading to smthg he calls a "weak knee"...i can walk n suddenly feel numbness in my left knee n jus fall down...!! den due to bad posture n obvious hunchback...i've twisted my upper back...uhmmm...he used the work "distorted my upper back"...sound soooo "yyiieerrr!!"....he attempted to adjust my back to its original way...whoa..i din noe my body can bend sooooo much...i actually saw my left feet off my right shoulders..."crraaacckkk!!!"....i went out of the room crying...it hurts like crap!! it scares the ghost out of me...

tday was bad...wonder y i keep having bad days...haihs...when will it end???my day started rocky...woke up in the morning n got yelled at by my mom straight away! wat did i do? APPARENTLY, i was SUPPOSE to help her wit smthg...which she din even tell me wat!! GGrrggrrr.... and so the emofying day started...i changed n ate n when to the train station...waited for 1 hour n 30mins....guess wat? "tren ke sentul mengalami masalah teknikal and tertangguh buat sementara waktu"....GGrrrggrrr....1hour n 30mins!! under the freaking hor weather...wit the HUGE portfolio!! n no train!!reached coll late...zoned out as usual wit aM3's geng...haihs..plus, i'm emo...so everyone jus ticks me off...dunno y...and my "emo-ness" is ticking aM3 off too...hehe...BT teman me lo...haihs...poor girl so scared of me coz i emo...i was suppose to go to BT's hostel to finish up the concert's poster...den found out tat i left it on my study table!!! AARRGGHH!!!!the only highlight of my day would b ironically....class!! we were learnin bout "scale" tday..yunno..d 1:25...1:125...1:100...nisbah..tat sort of thing la... i finished early tday! manage to finish tday's work in time...so happy!! but when i packed n was on the way out of the classroom...i noticed tat everyone else's was super duper gud!! like soooo creative gud!! sum did logos, sum did grafitti...all i did was block letters!! ish...feel like a bloody idiot...!!ish!!anyhoo...EW gav me a lift to the ktm...did i mention tat i was left wit RM0.60 after buying the plastic A3 files?? hehe...suddenly broke!! wahaha....so yeah...went on the train and headed home...reached teluk gadong station in one piece!! yeah..den called my dad..he said he cant make it...but my sis is at home..so ask me to call her...i called her...she picked up...she said "ya..." den she hung up!! watthecrap??so i walked home...had to stop like 8 times on the way coz the portfolio was too heavy n d handle wasn't making it easier...my fingers practically turned purple when i reached home!!reached home...door was locked...yelled my lungs out ..no one answered...waited outside wit my dogs till dad came home!! went upstairs...my sis was sleeping....she still is sleeping btw...GGGrrgrrr.....

its finally over! after gruelling over the typography work for days!!! its finally done!!!

A is back!! miss ya load!! this fella a...i noe la he very very smart 11a1 ma..but bloody show off...wanna stay in ns for extra weeks now only come bcak!!! wahahha...den now come back d say very tough..teacher teach very fast!! akakak...padan la wey!!!anyhoooo...i miss A!!! wahahah...wanna get a super duper huge bear hug la!!!

the concert is nearer by the day...i'm so excited..den again i'm also soo freaked...to others there may b even bigger events..but to me..this concert is huge!! this is major!! at least to me it is...n its the 1st time i'm so hands on in the whole project...i've learned so much in this process.... daniel was great motivation...love em!! being in touch wit tis buddhist group again...its really emofying... the past few years wit em jus played in my mind like a movie...the childish quarrels...the friends...the bond we had in the group..being a prefect there..organising camps...and lastly the last chapter of my journey there-- the final argument there... sumtimes i do regret leaving em...i do regret stepping out of the group..i regret giving up on everything tat i had back there..but i jus couldn't help it..at the end...it was jus too hurtfull to stay...*sigh*

i'm back now... i finally opened up n took the 1st step back... even so..things wouldn't b d same anymore....TZ left...SL left...everything has changed...i guess we jus couldn't cling on to the past...all tat has happened happens for a reason... i shud jus try to embrace the changes...thinking positivly, witout this i would has met up wit CZ again... :) guess its all gud!!

I WANNA BREAK DOWN N CRY.....i came home at around 5....slept my butt off till 8....woke up n realise tat i have still soooo much to do...cried my eyes out till 9.30......i wanna die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!tis is soooooooooooooooooo frustrating...my MC partner is sum kolot old dude from singapore...he's a !@#$@@!##@#!!!!.... i haven't even seen him..n he's mailing me..."i wan tis...i wan tat...can u do tis...can u do tat....." "no jokes ya? i wan jus simple n formal"....watthecrap??? its a kids concert?????? and he jus blah blah blah blah.....d back drop isn't done yet...i cant finish it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sooooooooooooo many things more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my homework isn't done yet either!!!! i have sooooo many typography to do!!! i still cant get the "justified part" right!!!! cry....i wanna pull all my hair out!!!!!! i din have my lunch..i dead starved....dun even have the mood for dinner..mom n dad went out for a wedding dinner.....cry.....i haven't slept well in the past few weeks....my back hurts like crap...i gotta lie down after every few hours of work....

Friday, June 9

had a really bad day....1st i wanna apologise to the ppl i've ticked off tday....

i snapped at aM3 tday, very sowee dear... was really frustrated tday...bout the portfolio, i jus wanted to do smthg nice for you..no worries...i'm straight k? no need to keep pushing it back to me...i've already given it to u..so thats that...ok dear? please dun try to giv it back again... its kinda hurtful coz its a gift...

and B...i'm so so so so so soweeee....i was havin a very bad day...i was frustrated with my work...n my back aches like crap...hurt so much tat i have to wear back support the whole day now...kinda worrying...dunno wats wrong wit me...i haven't had decent nap time in like 3 days...plua my buddhist concert is comin nex week..i'm MC-ing..i gotta plan the event sheet n stuff...my partner is from singapore n i stil haven't met him....i cant plan out the dialogue witout him...its nex week n there's so much to be done!! i'm waaay overdue wit my home work..and i still need to settle the concert's backdrop n event lighting...i oso need to prepare the souvenirs for the KL n singapore singers...its very sweet of u to wanna get me the jacket ya..thanks!! but getting a new wardrobe is definately the last thing in my mind...soweee....

i hate this sem...i hate nt being confident in the stuff tat i do...i hate knowing that i wun do well in this...i feel like crap every single time i need to draw...i cant draw!!! i jus wanna find sumone to whine to!!i jus wanna find sumone to jus cry n cry ncry n grumble n grumble..but J alredy has so much in his hands...he has so much problems already...n mp is setlling in her college...sk has her own school n tuition n stuff...ws...she's nt the type tat will sit n jus listen to me whine!! sides..she's bz wit her coll stuff....cry....darn depressing...

i had sum extra cash wit me this month...abit thru savings la....was eyeing a pair of shoes n new jacket during the hols..but when coll started, i decided to change my plans...*heck, they're jus clothings, i'll buy em nex time la!!!* hehe..bought a portfolio for aM3 tday! poor gurl has been carrying plastic bags all day...i noe she kinda wanted it, AND she's trying ever so hard to tink positive...gt car...nvm...lots of plastic bags...haihs...love her so much..sumore she so emo since class started...wanted to cheer her up too...PLUS i've always wanted to get her a FIRST... had been planning the thingy so long d...how to giv her la??!! in the end told her tat i need to put it in her place for a day coz i cant bring home... plan to tell her tnite la..den she already kenot decline..wahahaha...but stupid BT blew my cover b4 they even reached home!! ggeesshhh!!!!

abit gloomy these days la..i have no confidence watsoever on this new sem...i cant draw...i dunno how to draw...and now the drawing n sketching work are jus piling up....!!! typo due nex tue...color essay due thurs....cry....ARGH!!! i'm so tension..plus my back hurts so badly..its kinda worrying me....haihs....its been stinging all day thru these pass few days...

Wednesday, June 7

i went to coll tday...2nd day...met up wit d gang...its d second day actually but yesterday wasnt tat bad...tday i was jus feeling zoned out...

i have no idea wat was everyone talking about...i have no idea watsoever wat aM3 was talking about...she's so agitated tday... so she's like super hyped n fast..i tried to catch up..ended up feeling all lost...in the end, even aM3 jus lost her mood...*sigh*

went to class abit late coz L called me..but when i reached, no more place d...hehe...the geng wanted me to sit at the same row... i dowanna sit nex to sum stranger...(dahlah zoned out, duduk ngan orang tak kenal pulak)...so i went to sit wit sum ppl from d previous sem...i din wannna share tables la..d table so small only..our art blocks all so big!! but in d end, they shifted sum places n i went to sit wit em...*smiles* but class was sucky!! din like it at all..it started interesting till d lecturer gav us d work...aiks...so blurr...so rushed...cant finish!! cant pass up!! tension!!! argh!! ARGH!!!

Day 1 28/05/2006tday one was a bluff!! akakak... bro, mum, dad and me...we had lunch...den cYn came by around 1.30pm...den we were on our way to KLIA!! akakak...Squished our bags into the avanza *the yeo's can never travel light!!* and we r off!!!

after the Singapore 40 mins flight and the 5 hours aussie flight....

*taadaa!!* outback Australia!!! but it was already 11.45pm at night...and Perth ppl sleep at 8!!! watthecrap?? Where's the life??

btw, we stayed in Comfort Inn...its on Hays Street, and the red Cat station 10 is right around the corner!!

Day 2 29/05/2006our breakfast was heavy!! but it was good!! yummy...a day in town!! we took a CAT (Central Area Transit) bus down to town...guess wat...CAT is like our Triton n Metro bus or Bus mini...only difference is: they r puntual, they arrive every 5 mins!! +-1 min max!! ;their buses looks brand new wit wit great maintenance, no noises like "clikity clank" nor "chugg chugg chungggggg"; their well mannered ppl in the bus tat gives places to the old and handicapped; AND....ITS FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the routes are well mapped and good....apalah Metro bus Triton semua! charge banyak banyak, kena hidu asap juga! ngah ngah ngah...the malls are expensive as usual...i tried to find EW's shirt tat he wanted...allah..but we din go there la...erm...and i saw jus from the window...sorry la..i jual semua yang saya ada pun takde cukup untuk beli la!!! we went to d usual tourist place n immediately mom started her shopping spree...aunt M n grabdpa joined in too...poor dad had to carry a super duper huge bag to keep all the stuff..nt to mention, the bag is hideous!! :)

Day 3 30/05/2006heavy breakfast den we are off!! wats on for tday???trem ride!!! all around Perth!!!

did i mention tat perth has sooooo many parks???? oooo...simply love'em!!! love the greens...love the parks!!! love the peace and quiet....we went to Burswood Park 1st!! it was beautiful!! its actually a casino..but this casino used 1% of their gross profit to maintain the beautiful park!! this park has alot of statues...they were built in memory of the earliest pioneers/ settlers tat came...

there's also a lake there...i tink its called the swan lake...where every year the city will elect 5 "citizens of the year"...and their names are carved around by the lake...in the middle of the lake there's 5 swans...actually theres more than tat...but the sculpture is so unique tat no mater from which angle u look, there's only 5 swans...

next stop is the swan tower..its actually the belltower situated near the Barrack jetty.....oooooo... nice...mmm...i like.......

next stop is king's park...its called KING's park for a reason!! its huge!!!! when we went into the park, there were a lot of gum trees alongside..later we found out tat all 103(i tink) trees was planted in the memory of the soldiers tat died due to the war...every tree has a name, position, cause of death..whether it was Died in Action or Death of Wounds...

there's also a lake tat represents the earliest women settlers / pioneers tat gav their fair share to the nation...

there's a monument tat was built for the men tat died in the 1st world war..all their names and age were carved onto the monument!!!

oooo...i love the fact that everything is there!! "none is forgotten"...get me??

heheheh...we had dinner at Northbridge, its like a china town area...my mom cant stand western food so we eat asian as often as we can...

i tried sending another msg to N tday...still no reply..dun tell me the guys is so bz studying for his exam tat he cant even reply? weird...

Day 4 31/05/2006pindah rumah!!! after our breakfast..we checked out...we moved to City Stay a few roads down..but convieniently, theres another CAT station nearby..this time its the yellow wan...heheheh....its also apposite Harbour Town...tis smthg like a discount store la... i wanted to go ther..but hmmm...how they discount oso very expensive la!! jior...i hate Aussie Dollars la!!!!

so we went to Northbridge for sum chinese groceries coz the new place can cook!! mmm...mom cooked Bak kut teh!!! yum.... my cousin K1 whacked everything!!it was good....

we slept at around 8smthg..ooo i'm starting to like d aussie life...get to sleep like a pig n no one cares!!! wahahahahahha.....

Day 5 01/06/2006woke up early tday...went for a tour to the Pinnacles n Norcia...i spotted a rainbow on the way...oooo love em!!!!!

i dunno wat to say about the pinnacles...breathtaking??? i still dun get how the rocks form...BUT...they're beautiful!!! like "whoa....."...... sum dude from our tour said the spotted one tat looked like a penis...eh?? it does resembles anything to me..i dun get it??? *blurrrrr* i did see one tat looked like a seal/sea lion though...*grins*

reached home late due to the tour...but mom's delicious dinner solves eveything...yummm....

Day6 02/06/2006its my bday...dunno y i'm super emo tday...i'm starting to miss my frens in coll....and i miss my grandma!!!! cry...i missed her soooo much.... this year is my 1st bday witout her...normally she'll make it a point to celebrate all our bdays...all the grandchildren and children!!! we would all gather and celebrate...but tday it jus felt like smthg was missing...

she's gone..and theres nthg i can do to change tat..i msg cYn... she asked me nt to b stupid and said tat i was acting crazy...aunt M keep tinking tat i'm mad at smthg...mom tinks tat i'm being immature n tat i was embarresing her in front of aunt M... i was jus nt in the mood..y dun anyone get tat??? i miss her... i'll never ever be wit her again..no more sitting by the sliding door folding origamy...no more nestum wit sugar 4 tea time... i always wanted to make her proud...whenever i gt my results...i'll always call her , she sound so happy and proud..no matter wat the results is..shes always so happy..she never gives u pressure... when i gt my spm...i din noe who to call... of course i noe i 'll call my parents..but when i called to tell grandpa bout my results...it jus wasnt the same...i noe then..i'll never be able to see her again...i'll never be able to meke her proud again...

every year my bday, she would gimme an angpau...it dousnt matter how much she gives...everytime she gives an angpao...she'll tell us tat she noes wat a year we'll gonna have...especially if its an exam year...shes always patient, and she'll tell u tat its ok..u can do it..jus try ur best...its ok....

after dinner, K1 did d sweetest thing... he brought us all back up to King's park...at night....there's a look out point there...n d night view was mesmerising..we jus stood there n stared!!! i took a pic...ooo..so proud!!!! using OF's "leng time asposhore"...ekekek....

den...they broght me to d casino...ekekke...i was freaked when d guard asked for my ID...c'mon la..i've been passing off as 14 year old through out d whole trip!! ekekkeke...anyways, showed my passport, i went in..i gt lucky too!!! i won AUS$15 from AUS$1!!!! wahahahah...of course...one old aunty helped me la!!! wahahahah....

lastly, we went to Gelaré for ice cream~!! ice cream in winter!! eheheheh...cuckoo la!!! but it was fun...last night ma.....