February 07, 2019

A Whole New World (of Nuclear Weapons)

The “FIN” of INF

1. When we take on headline news, you know it must be serious, seriously misunderstood, or both. So, what’s the deal (or no deal) with this INF business, anyway? After months and years of the blame game, both the United States and Russia have announced their withdrawal from the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty, which in 1987 eliminated American and Russian land-based nuclear missiles with ranges between 500 and 5,500 kilometers. Both nations have announced their intention to begin developing new weapons, though both have also cautioned that a new arms race need not begin. On the plus side, there’s nothing like a treaty breakdown to give you a fresh wave of Cold War nostalgia. With that out of the way, we now return to our regularly scheduled programming…

2. Too much smog? Just blow it all off, or at least away, just like you do with all your other problems. The Ural town of Sibay, Russia has installed massive fans to deal with toxic air that has been emitting from nearby abandoned mines. In addition, the town has begun handing out medical masks to mitigate possible health effects. One concerned parent took things a step further and, only somewhat jokingly, filmed children playing while wearing gas masks. Authorities rejected the notion that the masks were anything but a joke, so you could say… wait for it… they weren’t big fans.

3. A magic carpet ride, Nizhny-style. Two residents of Nizhny Novgorod took a spin through the city on a carpet attached to a car, apparently having a blast all the while. This despite the fact that both were in decidedly summer attire and that the carpet ride couldn’t have been too magically comfortable, either. Nizhny Novgorod police weren’t too impressed and fined the driver a whopping R1000 (about $15) for violating transportation laws. Too bad this Aladdin wannabes don’t have their own personal genie.

In Odder News

The Motherland Calls./ ФСИН России

“The Motherland Calls” is hands down the best ice sculpture you’ve ever seen (and oh, by the way, it was made by Russian prisoners)

Google Translate’s self-congratulatory Superbowl ad doesn’t get one thing right: the Russian words that it shows being translated! (skip to second 14 for the mistranslation of vareniki as pelmeni - the horror!

The ghost of soccer games past… one Russian man is apparently being haunted by Andrei Arshavin, one of the greats of Russian soccer

Quote of the Week

"In a rating of the most stupid crimes of the 21st century, he has grounds to deserve an honorable mention”

— Culture Ministry official Vladislav Kononov is not impressed by last week’s art thief

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