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Alicia Keys had an appearance on the David Letterman show sometime this week and was looking really hot but something was amiss. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it but after careful examination I came to one very special conclusion, her ass is not a problem. Alicia’s ass is stunning and by stunning I mean that I would be in that ass all night if she asked me to, rim job included. Damn, that is one fine ass. But something else was bothering me about the way she looked, her dress was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination, and don’t get me wrong she looked banging in it. And then it hit me, her itty bitty titties do not match the perfection that is the rest of her body. They look like orangutan titties and for Alicia that is a travesty. She could be the perfect woman, except for the crazed racism that she exhibits, but her titties ruin it for me. I for one am going to start an online petition demanding that Alicia get a tit job so that she can live up to her potential. She could be the total package but of course she has too much integrity and love for self to go under the knife, damn it Alicia why can’t you be a spoiled rich white girl with no self esteem, damn you Alicia, you broke my heart.

As you can tell by the title I’m not a big fan of Hayden panatierre but in these pics she actually looks good. I have checked the requirements to qualify as a dwarf and I’m sure that Hayden Panatierre qualifies, but in defense she is the hottest dwarf I have ever seen. The problem with Hayden is that she has that body type that requires constant work to keep in shape. One bad week of bingeing and it’s all over for her, for example say that her semi-pedophile boyfriend decides to end it with her you can expect her to disappear off the map for a few weeks as plastic surgeons try and suck the fat out of her. So for probably the last time here is Hayden looking pretty good, cheers.

Happy birthday to my favourite roberts, Eric Roberts. It must suck to be him. I heard that his sister hates him but I wouldn’t know for sure because Eric is the type of celebrity that you don’t go out of your way to do anything involving him. I also loved that one year where he starred in half a dozen music videos for random artists. Good job on using the name that your sister made for you. Just kidding Eric I always thought that you were the more talented roberts and just for fun I went out of my way and found this youtube video. I have changed my mind, it sucks to be Eric roberts but it really blows to be a true Eric Roberts fan.

Now for a happier tune. Happy Birthday to a true comedic genius Mr. Conan Obrien, I cant wait for that chin to leave NBC and be replaced by the only funny thing that NBC has aired since Seinfeld was canceled. So Happy birthday to you Conan, you red headed bastard.

My obsession of the week this week is the TV show Nip Tuck. I came across the show as a recommendation from a few friends. I ended up watching all five seasons this past week and a half, and let me tell you I find this show fucking hilarious. Dr. Christian Troy is my new idol. His character is the biggest asshole on TV but also has flashes of altruism that give his character more depth. I know the show is very superficial, which is funny because of the topic, and even their attempts at bringing the show any greater sense of drama seems cheap and implausible, but still worlks because they poke fun at themselves. The balance that Dr. Troy and Dr. McNamara share in their relationship helps both of them thrive and grow as both their personalities reverberate off of each other giving each of them a lot more dimension.