With the swearing-in of the latest Al-Qaeda deep-cover agent into his cabinet, Rudd’s exciting new government is complete. As Ed Husic takes the oath of office, swearing by the Koran, the GG confirms it as “a wonderful day for multiculturalism and everything it stands for in our country” and that “his wife [wives?] should be proud.” Tens of thousands of Islamists and their Greens allies around Australia rejoice and their unofficial spokeswoman, the notorious ex-Stalinist cheer-leader, Lee Rhiannon, proposes that out of respect for the Prophet (PBUH) Israel should be once again unilaterally condemned. Nevertheless, from the same side of politics, a beaming Richard Di Natale announces it as a triumph of multiculturalism and Dr Mohamad Abdulla from the Islamic Research Unit at Griffith University happily gave the appointment his blessing.

Shamefully, supporters of the Sydney University-based Centre for Peace and Conflict Studies are outraged and demonstrate their opposition to what they say is another transparent Jewish conspiracy. Posting hundreds of messages on Ed’s Halal-approved Facebook pages they denounce him as a crypto-Zionist and nothing more than a toady of the bankrupt Westminster/American Imperialist system. Jake Lynch, spokesman for the Boycotts, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) campaign, rejects the appointment as completely illegitimate and a blatant act of aggression against the Palestine people. But an anonymous person claiming to be a representative of the Australian Human Rights Commission rings up the ABC and announces rather mysteriously “It’s all going to plan,” before hanging up.

In a prepared statement, spokesman from Hizb-ut-Tahrir, Uthman Badar, ridicules Ed as an Uncle Tom, but because he is a mate of mine, I know he is just kidding and just maintaining Ed’s cover-story (Nod, nod, wink wink).
Besides, being a long-time friend of Ed, and knowing that he frowns upon wife-beating and public beheadings in general, I ring him to offer my enthusiastic congratulations.
Let’s face it, though, anyone who is familiar with the story of how Ed, as a refugee, single-handedly sailed his tiny dinghy all the way from war-torn Mostar in the central Bosnian mountains to reach our wonderfully free, fair-dinkumly golden shores, can’t help but realise what a great guy he must be, hey Kevvie?