I’m facing what I think is quite possibly the end of my company. This has nothing to do with the Master Key Experience or it’s effectiveness. It has to do with years of not having a clear concise picture of what the company is meant for and its direction in life. It amounts to me being the dreamer but yet a very passive person and allowing a loose cannon to do what he wants. I am to blame because I developed “Paralysis by Analysis” and frankly let a bad situation ruin a career that I used to love.

This program I am in is helping me tremendously. I admit I am not giving it my full attention, and so I’m sitting sidekick status vs. superhero status. Well its time to graduate to the next level.

This may mean the end of my company and the start of a new one. Or a decent job with a big firm. I don’t really know. It may mean both, a job to get me back on my feet while I start my business on my own time. All I know is that a permanent job won’t help me with my DMP.

Or I can try and salvage this company, but I’m not keen on my current business relationship. I’m at a fork in the road. Which one do I take?

Love and the lack of negativity. Love thy neighbor. Love thy enemy. Sometimes it’s hard to say I love you, even in your mind. Og Mandino’s second scroll requires me to say or think the words “ I Love You” to everyone we encounter for the next 30 days. Well let me tell you, I have a poor relationship with my business partner, so this won’t go well!

But im working on it! Luckily I’m the type of man that says it to my family, wife and children constantly. So it’s not completely alien to me. Although my 17 year old son is really testing me these days.

Can I say “I love you” while I strangle somebody? Does it still count? He reminds me so much of my father in law. Come to think of it, my wife reminds me of my father-in-law’s mother! Oh no, I what have I gotten myself into! It’s like that family has remanifested itself all over again. My youngest son is even like my wife’s uncle. Confused yet? Me too! Let’s go have a beer.

My 15 year old son who I just mentioned is so happy-go-lucky. The polar opposite of the older one. As a matter of fact he’s sitting in a deer stand just 100 yards away with my rifle because he forgot the key to his gun lock. What’s that? So then what am I using? Nothing! Well I do have a pistol Incase a pack of wild hogs come after me, but that won’t do me any good deer hunting. So I’m writing my blog post in the cold rain because I’m bored. He was so grateful to me when I offered my gun to him. I hope to be like him when I grow up.

Except for his work ethics, I don’t want those! They are the same as mine!😂 My oldest has great work ethics but a terrible attitude. Isn’t God funny?

Anyway I hear something climbing up the ladder. No really! Maybe it’s Bigfoot. I’ll just tell him I love him and maybe he won’t have me for dinner.

Moving in silent desperation
Keeping an eye on the holy land
A hypothetical destination
Say, who is this walking man? -James Taylor

For the past 6 weeks I can proudly say that I’ve been mostly walking forward. “Baby Steps”, as Bob Wiley would call them. But this week I backslid. Badly. I’m “stumbling around drunk down on the farm” like old pappy. I’m sure you all have been there. So let’s make a deal. You keep reading every week and I’ll have good news next week. A little progress, if you will. Golden wings against the sky.

Speaking of songs, I had a strange coincidence this week. All last week I had this song stuck in my head . It started about Saturday when I woke and would not leave my brain no matter what I did. The song is “Man in the Mirror” by M.J. I hadn’t heard it in years and I listen to mostly podcasts instead of music so I don’t really know where it came from. Well Sunday we were giving the task of reading “Guy (gal) in the Glass” by Dale Winbrow on a daily basis. It was such a weird thing. Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence after all. Oh, and “man in the Mirror” is still there in my noggin, two weeks and counting. Here is Winbrow’s Poem for those who don’t know it:

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s with you, clear to the end
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

I hate cleaning my house. Actually hate is a strong word. I am in no way motivated to do it, unless, of course, company is coming over. So it’s no surprise to me that my mind is also cluttered and dirty. I haven’t had much motivation to clean it, either. In part 5 of the Master Key, Haanel talks about mental housecleaning daily in order to stay on top of it. And we are doing it 3 times a day now. Actually, it’s all day long but we are not aware of it! That means a new blueprint is starting to take hold.

If I cleaned my house daily how much easier and efficient life would be! No more digging for clean boxer briefs between 3 baskets of laundry for 15 minutes. No more hand washing spoons to get through the morning. You get the idea, so what can we expect from a clean mind? Clean thoughts! Productive thoughts! Discipline and positivity, empathy and wisdom, morality and an intolerance for time-wasting. Wow!

So let’s get cleaning! Remember a filthy house is very hard to get on top of but soon the regular maintenance makes it oh so easy.

What a revelation! Remember when you were 9-10 years old? At that time I was starting to understand why it was better to give than receive. Giving a gift and watching that persons face as they received was so much better than getting that toy I so desperately wanted. Our task this week was to give something to EVERY person we came in contact with. No small feat, mind you, given the amount of people most of us interact with. The gifts could be compliments, prayers, physical gifts, smiles, etc. I’m a member of BNI and today I had to interact with with 35 members and guests.

I went with my gut instinct and just bought a cheap container of Deli cookies from Albertsons. They were pretty crappy cookies but the members loved them, They wanted to know what the occasion was, if I was running for office, or if I had an ulterior motive. That means that I haven’t been a giver like I should have been. BNI teaches “Giver’s Gain” which is very similar to the law of giving and receiving. I now know it’s something I have to work on. Another lesson learned.

This week Mr. Charles Haanel mentioned a little something about fear. Well let me tell you what I’m not afraid of. I’m not afraid to put myself out there. I’m not afraid of public speaking. I’m not afraid of surviving on Beanee Weenees. I AM afraid of paperwork and record keeping. I am afraid that my wife and children would have to survive on Beanee Weenees. And I am afraid of success. Wait, what? Didn’t you mean “afraid of failure”? No, I meant success! Because success means change. So I’m afraid of change. I’ve been failing for years now, and success means everything about my life is different. I’m especially afraid of being “wildly successful” whatever that means.

What will me typical day look like? Who will be affected, and in what way? Where will I live? What kind of new problems will I have? Please, someone give me a crystal ball or a prophet or sumtin’ so I can know what I’m getting into!

But I must change and embrace the unknown. Because if I keep doing what I’m doing I’m always going to keep getting what I’m getting. It’s the old oxygen mask metaphor. I have to help myself before I help others.

Also why the hell do I keep waiting to the last minute to write these things? I’m challenging myself to have my next entry written by Wednesday afternoon of next week. Watch me!

Well what a week! I started out strong in week 1, knocking out my obligations with gusto. The Master Key Experience requires me to create a schedule and stick to it, a repeat the same things everyday, several times a day. Well guess what? My subconscious struck back with a vengeance this week. My schedule was sabotaged and my enthusiasm waned to a point where I almost just gave up.

I have a feeling it’s normal. I’m trying to reprogram my brain to change my daily routine. You see, my poor habits caused chaos and disaster. As a matter of fact, I put my employees and my family’s livelihood in jeopardy. I needed a lifeline, and the Master Key seems like it will do the trick.

I just need to get over myself. Hopefully week 3 proves to be a little more manageable.