Nine hot posh dads

Men look good holding babies, especially when
those babies are their own. Here are some hot posh dads for you to
get excited about (mentally Photoshop their heads onto that Athena
poster of the topless man with the newborn and just enjoy). By
Clare Bennett

Remember Richard Roper. Remember his weapons of mass
destruction. How about you let him blow your mind apart with those
sad blue eyes and a rendition of 'One For My Baby'. Or shout at
you, like House. Or puncture your hot-water bottle, like Bertie
Wooster.

Jeremy King wants to take you to dinner. If it's one of the good
restaurants in London, the likelihood is he owns the joint - and
who doesn't love a man with an empire. Get him to order for you
while you admire those long legs under the table. Let the
diamond-like glare of the light bouncing off his silver
hair dazzle you.

Once you have recovered from the misery that Benedict
Cumberbatch selfishly got married and had a baby with someone that
wasn't you, you can think about him reading Shakespeare sonnets to
his son in THAT VOICE and then you can feel happy again.

Glasses and a greying beard really is a winning combination. The
big selling point is that big old brain, obviously. Imagine him
trailing round after you in your house, looking suspiciously at
your booze collection but asking you non-judgemental questions.
Arousing.

Slutty action-man photo of him recently posted on Twitter. Makes
you want to get in the shower with him. And then, afterwards, he
can tell you about the time he live-streamed a periscope broadcast
from the Mary Rose.

Total inventory: 2

Jake Warren

Good with horses. Plays croquet. Can drive. Big smile, quite
keen on laughing. Even looks alright in a gilet. Best friends with
Prince Harry. Quite fun at a party. Actually, very.