The Penis Talk: Where Should A Christian Woman Draw The Line?

Can I just say something before we move on to the main topic? A few people have expressed some misgivings about my posts which bother on sex and the sexual anatomy so to speak.

Most Christians believe sex-talks should be kept very hush-hush and ‘religiously decent’. They prefer to bottle up sex problems in their relationship…the women especially for fear of ‘falling their husband’s hand.’ While some men feel only a brazen woman can be bold enough to write about sex in public. Generally, Christians believe sex in marriage should follow bible standards.

First and foremost when I discuss sex on my blog, it is strictly for the engaged and married couples…the engaged couples to mentally prepare them for the challenges ahead and the married couples to revamp and sustain their sexual life.

So what about single adults who are sexually active? You may ask. My answer is simple. They are on their own. Laws have been made on earth that even I was born to meet. God had reasons for encouraging young adults to get married if the ‘congeal’ was getting too much for them to bear. Even Jesus wasn’t authorized to change or break the law. That’s why our saviour said in Matthew chapter 5 verse 17:

“Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose.” – [New Living Translation]

So I guess we are clear on the fact that I am also not here to alter the Word. And if we are, why then are we so uptight discussing sex, or the male and female sexual organs? A lot of marriages are heading toward divorce. So many Christian brothers, including pastors and the rest of the clergy are sneaking out to steal some nooky because their wives are busy playing ‘Mrs Pious Prayer Warrior’ to understand that humans are tripatate-made up of the spirit, soul and body. While studying the word and praying satisfies your spiritual hunger, satisfying your spouse in bed also satisfies your physical hunger or sexual hunger as it were.

Acting all ‘spiro’ with your spouse can never substitute for sexual satisfaction. You just have to be do that according to the manual, which is sexually. Sex was created by God. It is not a dirty act, it is not taboo and it’s definitely not something to be ashamed about. Sex was created for a couple’s pleasure. If it was created for procreation alone like some argue, then God would have designed our organs to be insensitive to touch and sex wouldn’t have been capable of giving so much pleasure.

Ladies, for you, sex would have been like your monthly periods…you endure its monthly visits only because you can’t help it. I was shocked to read an article which explained that the Catholic Church defined what type of sexual activity a couple should engage in. According to the Busted Halo, the church makes a distinction between oral “sex” and oral stimulation. That part of a wife giving her husband a blowjob or a handjob thereby stimulating him to orgasm is prohibited by the church because it is believed that the male ejaculation is primarily for procreation so the man must have to ejaculate inside his wife. But if the man experiences premature ejaculation during foreplay, then it is not deemed a sin but an “accident”.

Interestingly, the Church permits the husband to manually stimulate his wife genitals to orgasm in a situation where she failed to climax during penetrative intercourse. This is so because the Church believes that the female ejaculation isn’t necessarily for procreation. Now isn’t that something?

I find this theological analysis of sex very faulty and I’ll tell you why using myself as an example. I have five kids. My husband and I do not want to have more children. While we are making up our minds about which form of birth control is best for us, we decide to use the withdrawal method in the mean time. Going by the Catholic doctrine we are sinning, get it?

I’ll give you another scenario. Wife is having her monthly period and she’ll be bleeding for about five days. Hubby is feeling horny and can’t wait till after five days to make love to his wife. He asks his wife to give him a blowjob. The husband has sinned.

Even Pope Benedict has spoken openly of his concern that limiting the Church’s attention on sex to “just moral prohibitions” can lead people to “have the impression that the church’s real function is only to condemn and restrict life. Perhaps too much has been said and too often in this direction—without the necessary connection to truth and love.”

I totally agree with the Pope on this. There should be no inhibitions towards sex between married couples. And we shouldn’t be too embarrassed to talk about ways to spice up our sex lives either. You’d be shocked to discover how many Christian women are TOTALLY CLUELESS about how to pleasure their husbands sexually. As young girls, they were taught how to keep the home clean, cook to satisfy a man’s stomach…all to prepare them for marriage. But no mom gave their about-to-be-married daughters lessons on Sex 101. Little wonder we are seeing many marriages fall short in that department.

Next time, we’ll talk about sexual positions. Which ones gives maximum pleasure and why the missionaries had to dictate which sexual position was righteous enough for us.

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2 comments

This is a topic that really needs to be discussed, especially amongst nigerian women. I appreciate you for having the courage to bring this topic to the forefront. Maybe, now an open discussion amongst our women can start.