I am new to all of this and I have to figure out what I am okay with and what I am not okay with.

My husband and I did a BDSM checklist when we first started dating in order to figure out what each other was interested in. It ended up being more of an ideas list than anything.

My worry about using a checklist as a "rules" guideline is that it will "give you ideas" on new rules that you may not have felt a need for until you saw them on paper.

The best complete list of guidelines I can come up with is:
1. Be honest with yourself and with all your partners.
2. Communicate about everything, your feelings and needs and concerns.
3. Safe sex always.
4. Own your emotions and take responsibility for dealing with them.

__________________“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.”—bisexualbaker