I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I’m planning on making a trip tomorrow morning…if I feel better. Should be very interesting and I’ll report back immediately.

Every once in a while I post a Single Mom S.O.S. The first time for my friend Abby who was trying to figure out how to explain a break up to her daughter and now for another single mom, Tricia. The dilemma – her ex-husband wants to fight for full-custody of their oldest son, a 9-year-old.

First some facts. Tricia is amazing. She is light, happy, full of optimism and she loves her two boys.

Since their divorce in July she and her ex-husband have had 50/50 split custody of the kids. She says, “I didn’t fight for full custody because he’s a great father, and my father was so important to me. I want him to be very involved in their lives.”

Now, less than one year later, her son says he wants to live with Daddy full-time and his father is not only encouraging this notion, but threatening to go to court.

You can imagine the emotional pain she’s feeling right now. He’s nine and he doesn’t know any better…but still. She also says her ex-husband has been encouraging the idea. To make matters worse he is also threatening to take the fight to court.

My theory:

Her son is having some natural anxiety over the recent divorce and feels torn, but wants to be back in his old house with dad. (Tricia is the one who moved out to a new house)

We need your help. She’s reading this … so please, any legal tips, any advice on how to talk her son out of this. Anything at all would be helpful. This is just breaking my heart. I can’t even imagine…

Can a father even legally do this if the mother is 100% fit to care for her children?

P.S. Tricia is not on drugs or anything crazy like that and how could a father encourage 9-year-old to want this? Seems like he’s playing on the poor kids vulnerability and emotions right now.

If you have your own Single Mom S.O.S. request e-mail me at mssinglemama-at-gmail-dot-com. Your name will not be published.

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I’m planning on making a trip tomorrow morning…if I feel better. Should be very interesting and I’ll report back immediately.

Every once in a while I post a Single Mom S.O.S. The first time for my friend Abby who was trying to figure out how to explain a break up to her daughter and now for another single mom, Tricia. The dilemma – her ex-husband wants to fight for full-custody of their oldest son, a 9-year-old.

First some facts. Tricia is amazing. She is light, happy, full of optimism and she loves her two boys.

Since their divorce in July she and her ex-husband have had 50/50 split custody of the kids. She says, “I didn’t fight for full custody because he’s a great father, and my father was so important to me. I want him to be very involved in their lives.”

Now, less than one year later, her son says he wants to live with Daddy full-time and his father is not only encouraging this notion, but threatening to go to court.

You can imagine the emotional pain she’s feeling right now. He’s nine and he doesn’t know any better…but still. She also says her ex-husband has been encouraging the idea. To make matters worse he is also threatening to take the fight to court.

My theory:

Her son is having some natural anxiety over the recent divorce and feels torn, but wants to be back in his old house with dad. (Tricia is the one who moved out to a new house)

We need your help. She’s reading this … so please, any legal tips, any advice on how to talk her son out of this. Anything at all would be helpful. This is just breaking my heart. I can’t even imagine…

Can a father even legally do this if the mother is 100% fit to care for her children?

P.S. Tricia is not on drugs or anything crazy like that and how could a father encourage 9-year-old to want this? Seems like he’s playing on the poor kids vulnerability and emotions right now.

If you have your own Single Mom S.O.S. request e-mail me at mssinglemama-at-gmail-dot-com. Your name will not be published.

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I’m planning on making a trip tomorrow morning…if I feel better. Should be very interesting and I’ll report back immediately.

Every once in a while I post a Single Mom S.O.S. The first time for my friend Abby who was trying to figure out how to explain a break up to her daughter and now for another single mom, Tricia. The dilemma – her ex-husband wants to fight for full-custody of their oldest son, a 9-year-old.

First some facts. Tricia is amazing. She is light, happy, full of optimism and she loves her two boys.

Since their divorce in July she and her ex-husband have had 50/50 split custody of the kids. She says, “I didn’t fight for full custody because he’s a great father, and my father was so important to me. I want him to be very involved in their lives.”

Now, less than one year later, her son says he wants to live with Daddy full-time and his father is not only encouraging this notion, but threatening to go to court.

You can imagine the emotional pain she’s feeling right now. He’s nine and he doesn’t know any better…but still. She also says her ex-husband has been encouraging the idea. To make matters worse he is also threatening to take the fight to court.

My theory:

Her son is having some natural anxiety over the recent divorce and feels torn, but wants to be back in his old house with dad. (Tricia is the one who moved out to a new house)

We need your help. She’s reading this … so please, any legal tips, any advice on how to talk her son out of this. Anything at all would be helpful. This is just breaking my heart. I can’t even imagine…

Can a father even legally do this if the mother is 100% fit to care for her children?

P.S. Tricia is not on drugs or anything crazy like that and how could a father encourage 9-year-old to want this? Seems like he’s playing on the poor kids vulnerability and emotions right now.

If you have your own Single Mom S.O.S. request e-mail me at mssinglemama-at-gmail-dot-com. Your name will not be published.

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I’m planning on making a trip tomorrow morning…if I feel better. Should be very interesting and I’ll report back immediately.

Every once in a while I post a Single Mom S.O.S. The first time for my friend Abby who was trying to figure out how to explain a break up to her daughter and now for another single mom, Tricia. The dilemma – her ex-husband wants to fight for full-custody of their oldest son, a 9-year-old.

First some facts. Tricia is amazing. She is light, happy, full of optimism and she loves her two boys.

Since their divorce in July she and her ex-husband have had 50/50 split custody of the kids. She says, “I didn’t fight for full custody because he’s a great father, and my father was so important to me. I want him to be very involved in their lives.”

Now, less than one year later, her son says he wants to live with Daddy full-time and his father is not only encouraging this notion, but threatening to go to court.

You can imagine the emotional pain she’s feeling right now. He’s nine and he doesn’t know any better…but still. She also says her ex-husband has been encouraging the idea. To make matters worse he is also threatening to take the fight to court.

My theory:

Her son is having some natural anxiety over the recent divorce and feels torn, but wants to be back in his old house with dad. (Tricia is the one who moved out to a new house)

We need your help. She’s reading this … so please, any legal tips, any advice on how to talk her son out of this. Anything at all would be helpful. This is just breaking my heart. I can’t even imagine…

Can a father even legally do this if the mother is 100% fit to care for her children?

P.S. Tricia is not on drugs or anything crazy like that and how could a father encourage 9-year-old to want this? Seems like he’s playing on the poor kids vulnerability and emotions right now.

If you have your own Single Mom S.O.S. request e-mail me at mssinglemama-at-gmail-dot-com. Your name will not be published.

I found one! She clicked with Benjamin right away – got down on her knees to talk to him and we spent an entire afternoon together. She’s coming over tonight to babysit, but alas, I’m sick! Just my luck. I’m going to have her come anyway. Might just go to the coffee shop or a book store for some much needed “me” time. A night out with my single girlfriends is so tempting (it’s been weeks and weeks) but then I’d feel even worse tomorrow.

I’m planning on making a trip tomorrow morning…if I feel better. Should be very interesting and I’ll report back immediately.

Every once in a while I post a Single Mom S.O.S. The first time for my friend Abby who was trying to figure out how to explain a break up to her daughter and now for another single mom, Tricia. The dilemma – her ex-husband wants to fight for full-custody of their oldest son, a 9-year-old.

First some facts. Tricia is amazing. She is light, happy, full of optimism and she loves her two boys.

Since their divorce in July she and her ex-husband have had 50/50 split custody of the kids. She says, “I didn’t fight for full custody because he’s a great father, and my father was so important to me. I want him to be very involved in their lives.”

Now, less than one year later, her son says he wants to live with Daddy full-time and his father is not only encouraging this notion, but threatening to go to court.

You can imagine the emotional pain she’s feeling right now. He’s nine and he doesn’t know any better…but still. She also says her ex-husband has been encouraging the idea. To make matters worse he is also threatening to take the fight to court.

My theory:

Her son is having some natural anxiety over the recent divorce and feels torn, but wants to be back in his old house with dad. (Tricia is the one who moved out to a new house)

We need your help. She’s reading this … so please, any legal tips, any advice on how to talk her son out of this. Anything at all would be helpful. This is just breaking my heart. I can’t even imagine…

Can a father even legally do this if the mother is 100% fit to care for her children?

P.S. Tricia is not on drugs or anything crazy like that and how could a father encourage 9-year-old to want this? Seems like he’s playing on the poor kids vulnerability and emotions right now.

If you have your own Single Mom S.O.S. request e-mail me at mssinglemama-at-gmail-dot-com. Your name will not be published.

They give away a lot in this trailer. Charlotte is pregnant! Samantha isn’t with Smith??? And Carrie’s wedding gets too… Big?

If you were a Sex and the City character who would you be? I think I’m a nice mix of all four … I love seeing the look on men’s faces when I say, “Okay. You have to leave now.” or “It’s 11:00 o’clock! Holy crap. You’ve got to go. I need to sleep.”

Hilarious.

We say “I’m a single mom.”

They try to digest it. Think they can. Get over it.

And then when that moment comes. The moment when you absolutely must sleep because you have to wake up at the crack of dawn…99.9% of them just stare with a blank face.

All dating rules they’d ever known are thrown out the door. Because they’re looking into the face of a very attractive, strong and sexy woman who has one mission – and that mission does not involve them.

You break every woman into three parts: mom, wife and “sexy and attractive woman”, like any male will do, because if he wants to see sexy, he wouldn’t see a mom of her child. But since the moment he realizes, that child belongs to him, too, he can combine these three parts into one loved woman. Am I right?

No Rishat, you’re not right. The children will never belong to a stepfather, as the mother always has the right to pull rank. You are not an equal in the household and will always ultimately be bottom of the heap.

stevieh2 is right. The child will always come first. You will never be an equal, and you have to realize that if you feel like you are ‘dad’ it’s only because she’s letting you believe you are ‘dad’, and, like stated above, can pull rank at any time.

I even adopted my ex’s son, but at the end of the day, I had very little say.

Mssinglemama, if you only have one mission, and that mission does not include the man, why would you date in the first place? Seems cruel.

The mission in this case was going to bed – without them. Perhaps I should have been more direct.

My mission, at this moment in time, definitely does not involve finding a husband or a man. And that’s why I’m not dating anyone. This weekend I had a few guys and girls over and when it was time for bed – I just told them – hey everyone – out.

It’s just funny because sleep, my sleep, reigns supreme over any potential “hook up” with a guy. And their faces – they just don’t know what to do. They’re “game” is thrown off.

If I weren’t a single mom (b/c I wasn’t always one) – the guys would linger and prod – asking me to stay up- trying to score or stretch the evening out.

And I have to disagree with what you said Jim about the child always coming first. When I grew up the kids weren’t first – Mom was. And that’s how my Dad raised us … mom first, you second, me third.

I have a very big, big heart. I can imagine one day loving a husband as much as my son (in a very different way). This is hard to express – but I think our “new family” – if that ever happens would ideally be just that – a family. A family where everyone is on equal ground.

No offense to the men but I think you are dead wrong. Marriage means a committment to eachother, and to God. It means you are equal partners, and your number one priority is the raising of your children.

My bio-dad was never a part of my life. My mom and FATHER got together when I was four and both raised me. I would even say there were times my dad pulled rank, and vice versa. Marriage isn;t just some “I love you but not your kids” relationship. If that’s how you feel, then you shouldn’t be involved.

If I spend my time with a child, help with discipline, put my personal life aside to include both you and him, leave my friends behind(which happens believe me), and commit my financial resources to the family, I absolutely have equal say at the very least. Marriage is a partnership, not Parent 1 and 1a.

My girlfriend and I discuss everything involving her son. At this juncture I do not have final say as we are not married yet. But I do share my feelings and ideas on things as eventually “the ex” will be my business. Her son may not carry my genes, but he mimics my behavior, calls me “dad jon,” and sees her and I as his parents. I am not “daddy” to him. I never will be, I will be “dad jon.” I certainly do not pretend to think I could have the same connection to him that his mother does. Even for me, “mommy” is the FIRST person on my contacts list.

I think most men are put off by not being priority one. We are by nature very selfish and do not like the competition for a woman’s attention. However, for me if I could get the attention so easily i wouldn’t respect the woman because her child wouldn;t be a priority. Closeness is earned with a single mom. She may show interest, make a move, go on a few dates, but at some point you have to step to the plate and show her that you are mature enough to handle the responsibilty, even a portion of it, that she has in her life. Once you make this decision you either walk away, or move even closer and have the chance to experience something no single woman could ever share with you.

I especially found this amusing: “If I spend my time with a child, help with discipline, put my personal life aside to include both you and him, leave my friends behind(which happens believe me), and commit my financial resources to the family, I absolutely have equal say at the very least. Marriage is a partnership, not Parent 1 and 1a.”

Ha. You may THINK it’s going to go down that way, but I bet not. Look – when you marry a single mother, you ARE parent 1a. I thought I was an “equal partner” for 10 years, until my wife’s son (whom I had adopted!) became a teenager. When it came to power struggles, Son was always right in Mom’s eyes, and Dad (me) was always wrong. And it ended in a divorce.

And I don’t really know how you got this “I love you but not your kids” thing from what I wrote. I STILL love my son, and always will – in fact, we get along better since the divorce. Mainly because when we’re together, Mom isn’t around to get between us.

It’s great that you’re non-bio dad had equal say in your upbringing. My son has never met his bio-dad. I’m the only dad he has ever known. I think you’re situation was the exception, not the norm.

One last thing – all I wanted from my wife was equal consideration. No one – NO ONE – should have to be second-place. EVERYONE can be No. 1.

Simmer down boys. Simmer down. We are all different and so is every situation. Jon that was your situation and it sounds horrible, and probably one most step-parents face at some point in time. But we can’t generalize and say that every step-parent situation will go down as yours did.

Jim that wasn’t at you. I certainly meant no disrespect. I may have generalized due to what I have observed amongst my peers. Perhaps the relationship between my mother and father is not the norm. My girl and I work together and she has a lot of patience with me with regard to being a quasi parental unit.