Month: February 2011

It’s hard to make yourself cry, to produce tears. In movie-making, when the actress has to cry, I guess she has to think of something very sad to make herself cry, or they put drops of water in her eyes just before they start filming to make it look like she is crying.

When I first returned to the Lord, I found myself unemotional during the most holy portion of Sunday morning worship. I cried out to God, “Why can’t I cry? Why am I so hard-hearted? Please, God, return my tears. Help me feel your presence and be able to cry in your presence again like when I was young.” I wanted to cry but had no tears.

Physically speaking, tears are necessary for the health of your eyes. A medical condition called dry eye causes loss of tears, so that the eyes are painful and vision is often blurred. If your eyes don’t produce their own tears, you can use artificial tears. Or according to a commercial on TV, if you have been using artificial tears two or more times a day, you might be a good candidate for a prescription that enables your eyes to make their own tears.

During that time I just continued a lifestyle of Christian service—reading the Bible, attending church, and praying—but I was always dry-eyed. No tears. Oh, occasionally I might squeeze one or two drops out. I was crying on the inside, dry on the outside, but I never gave up.

Then one Sunday I suddenly realized that I was crying. Not only was my heart touched, but my physical body was responding too. And beginning that day the Bible began to open up to me. My spiritual vision cleared and I was able to see and understand things that had been a blur to me before.

My first set of china in 1969 was from a gas station, 50 cents for each place setting with a tank of gas. My first set of eating utensils could hardly be labeled “silverware.” It was stainless steel, no design, functional.

I was never in that class of society where you register at the department store in the mall and get china, silver, and crystal at the bridal shower. My bridal showers netted bath towels, sheets, a mop and broom, and plastic ware, which I really could use.

I have two sets of china in the china cabinet, another set of dishes, (not china) in the kitchen cabinet, plus the Corelle dishes we eat off of every day. I don’t even remember what I have packed away in the garage from our move almost eight years ago, but obviously I don’t need them very badly.

I am learning as I grow in the Lord that He was right when He said in Luke 12:15NKJV, “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.”

Ask the rich man dying with cancer. His riches mean nothing to him. He would give all he had to be able to live longer.

I am more than the car I drive, the house I live in, the china I eat my meals from. I am an heir of God and joint heir with Jesus Christ. I have a home, a mansion, in heaven waiting for me, when the time comes that He calls me home.

The Lord gives me what I need here on this earth to live the life that He has laid out for me and I must learn, as Paul did, to be content in every situation.

Paul said in Phil.4:12, “I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.”

We’ve been told we can’t turn back the clock but on the island of Tonga, that isn’t true. You can go back to yesterday. However yesterday will never be the same, and some things can never be changed.

When you cross the International Date Line, today becomes tomorrow or yesterday. When traveling west to east, for instance, from the island of Tonga to the island of Samoa, which takes two hours by plane, the passenger arrives yesterday, the day before he left. And going from east to west causes a passenger to arrive tomorrow.

Passage of time has been one of the hardest issues for a science fiction writer to deal with. Writing about space travel used to require the reader to suspend his knowledge of science and enter the land of make-believe, but now many of the things sci-fi writers have written about have proven to be scientifically true.

“Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.” Psalms 30:5 NKJV.

When I am crying my eyes out, it seems as though morning will never come. I cannot see the morning sunshine for the clouds of depression hanging over me. Sadness swallows up day after day, leaving me with no tomorrow, only yesterdays. My imagination runs wild, driving me crazy with “what might have been,” but nothing is certain.

Questions of regret. “If I could just go back in time and take back those words.” “We were so happy back then. What happened?” “She was too young to die.” “How could he do that to me?”

But Mama always said, “time changes things.” My Father God is the God of time too. He can roll back time like a scroll and in an instant of time He can undo the damage that was done. You will always have the memory of what happened, but God will remove the hurt in your heart, if you will trust Him to do it. Time is no match for a great God like ours.