Welcome to my strange alternative world of wargaming with toy soldiers: a game for boys from twelve years of age to one hundred and fifty and for that more intelligent sort of girl who likes boys' games and books (HG Wells, Little wars)

Thursday, 12 July 2012

Welcome to the New Coalition Olympic Games

You should perfectly safe on your Olympic visit to London in three weeks time. The Typhoon Fighters and Rapier Missiles that you will observe following you are purely to enhance your holiday experience. If you look down at the towers in East London on your final approach you will note the happy festive Starstreak shoulder launched missile batteries on the roofs (see above).

You will not see many security guards as the corporate tossers at G4S who have the security contract have sort of not get round to hiring any. But fear not, the New Coalition Government will delay firing 3,500 useless soldiers so that they can do G4Ss job for them.

Apparently Surrey Council have decided not to fire their police force and give the contract to G4S. What can you expect from a bunch of stupid socialists like, er, Surrey Council.

This will not, of course, affect the corporate managment bonuses at GS4 as they cannot be held responsible for their incompetence.

16 comments:

My wife works for G4S and was pulled in to help sort out the security recruitment issues. The problem was that the original contract, which was for 10,000 security staff, was altered halfway through to be 23,000 security staff – cue panic all around. The London Olympic organisation has not been releasing any information for G4S to pass on to potential security staff (ie. when they start and where to go) so the whole thing comes off as shambolic. Typically English.

Ah, got to love the Olympics...when it was in Atlanta back in the 90's I recall all the crap that happened back then. Highways redone before hand, building Centennial Park and the unforgettable idiot that bombed it. I was on the radio that night doing a DJ shift when the news hit. I still recall it crystal clear. I can only imagine now after the 911 and other good stuff that the UK would be on high profile status. At least the IRA has been good of late....

Ah yes the full story is not always as clearcut as the headline writers would wish it to be heaven forfend that some one would plan ahead before dishing out the contracts mind you with the ticketing being the way it is it's possible they won't need the extra troops however heavily armed as it will probably only be queenie and the backbenchers who oversaw the setting up and running of the Olympic commitee that will be there (not that I want to give any terrorist or Prince Charles backed organisation ideas....)

Shaun please don't insult prince Charles , he's only got an 11% rise and is finding it hard to manage so let him and the rest of the hangers on have some free olympic tickets after all we don't want stupid socialists having tickets do we mr Lambshead ?

Ah, the joy! Been there, done that, paid something close to 215 million for a C4I system that never worked. Yeah, after the glitter fades, a lot of the dirt that has become part of the Olympic Games business will rise in the surface like scum. Sometimes I hope for a nice "dirty bomb" or biohazard incident during the games so that this travesty of the Olympic spirit will cease to exist.

We keep being told that we should all be growing in excitement about the games. I'm still waiting.... And I live in a so called 'Olympic Borough'!

I've never been all that interested in watching sport and just because its on my doorstep hasn't changed that. But I thought "what the heck, lets buys some tickets and take part in history"...then I saw the prices. Frankly we couldn't justify the expense in the same year that the Government have hit us for £2.5k through changes to Tax Credits etc.

Instead we thought we'd go visit the Olympic Park during the games to soak up some atmosphere for free. The problem is I expect the all pervading commercialism of the event will just hack me off and I don't suppose the McDonalds police will look too favourably on us bringing a packed lunch!

On the plus side there will be a lot of military hardware around for me to photograph. Note to self; must remember to wear my fake beard and turban when taking pictures...

Dear Lee Look forward to seeing your story on Panorama or maybe Embarissing Bodies depends on what angle the probing takes but don't blame the security guard or his endoscope (unless he doesn't sterilise it properly) perhaps get your call in to lawyers 4U nowMight be able to claw back some of that tax credit you'll be missing out on (thats probably going to be spent on a security guard; the more I write the firmer my conviction that its a government plot to create a cover for quantative easing that will look like the Olympics actually gave the economy a boost)

I'm trying hard not to be cynical, honest I am. But I'm failing miserably. It all hangs on the opening ceremony. Its either going to be amazing, innovative and uplifting or (more likely) an unmitigated embarrassment that will make me want to curl up in a ball and whimper.

Dear Lee We are English unmitigated embarrassment and whimpering whilst in the feotal position are what we do best in fact for the next Olympics held in Britain we might try and get them on the list of trail events though I think the other countries might complain that we had an unfair advantage.