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Ask the Readers: Is It Okay to Buy a Christmas Gift from a Thrift Store?

The holiday season can test a frugal person’s patience: There are so many temptations to spend. Sure, we all want to enjoy the festive nature this time of year, but where do you draw the line? And how fugal is too frugal?

Michelle wrote with a terrific question. She has the sort of dilemma I can picture myself facing. Here’s her story:

Like you, I am a big proponent of thrift store shopping. It saves money, and it’s just more fun going to the mall — at least for me. Because I live in the New York City area, I’m fortunate in that many of the area thrift stores are filled with fantastic stuff, including designer and name-brand quality clothes, many of which are barely worn.

On a recent thrift-store trip, I picked up two designer handbags as Christmas gifts for my college-aged nieces, but now I’m having second thoughts.

On the one hand, there’s no way they would ever really acquire Coach and Kate Spade handbags on their own.

On the other hand, I don’t know if they share my acceptance and love for thrifting, and they may not react well to the thought of being gifted someone else’s cast-offs.

Since new versions of these bags are clearly out my budget, there’s no way to pass these things off as anything other than second-hand. What do you think? Is it tacky to purchase gifts at a thrift store?

My initial response to Michelle’s question is that of course it’s okay to purchase gifts at a thrift store — I do it all the time! But maybe that’s because of the way my family has set up its gift exchange.

In my family, adults exchange $5 gifts: Each of us buys something costing no more than five bucks for every other adult. This arbitrary budget forces folks to get creative. And because of that, thrift stores are actually a fantastic place to find presents. Garage sales, too. (And I’ve spent many hours trolling Amazon for fun bargains.)

Here’s my favorite example: Several years ago, I found a set of nice drafting pens for ten bucks at a garage sale. My brother used to draw house plans (though he no longer does), and I thought these would make a great Christmas gift. I haggled the price down to five bucks. Back home, I researched the actual price for the pens. They normally sold for about $70. Score! (I’m not sure if Jeff has ever used them, but this is the best $5 gift I’ve ever given.)

Obviously, not everyone is in a situation where giving bargain buys from garage sales and thrift stores is socially acceptable. But I’m willing to wager that there are plenty of people out there for whom this sort of thing is okay, at least to some degree.

But this is the sort of question where I definitely need to poll a wider audience. Not everyone shares my love of buying used. In fact, many GRS readers deplore thrift stores. Instead of steering Michelle down my own (possibly misguided) path, it’s probably best to field responses from a variety of perspectives.

What do you think? When is it okay to purchase gifts from a thrift store? Is it always okay? Never okay? And what about Michelle’s specific situation: Should she feel any shame in giving used designer handbags to her nieces this Christmas?

I’m revisiting this a day later because, in fact I listed a bunch of designer purses on craigslist this morning, and in face I am probably buying used sweaters for a niece. I agree that the gift should be tailored to the recipient (it seems to me that there is now no doubt that the nieces would appreciate said gift). And I certainly dont buy the theory, being on a fixed income, that its my oblibagation to suffer (sacrifice) for someone elses enjoyment. Not what christmas is about in my world.

someone is going to get almost new/gently used designer purses, which I certainly hope will be given as gifts to someone who can appreciated them, for about twenty cents on the dollar (perhaps less). And my niece will be thrilled with the sweaters found in her color.

I would say as long as they are in good condition and don’t have any wear and tear on them I would say go for it. Though, I have bought designer purses at thrift stores before so perhaps I am a little more accepting but when I was in college I would have loved to have a nice bag and wouldn’t have been put off by a thrift store find. I also thinks it shows a little more thought than just picking up a gift card to a mall or something. You went to the thrift store, looked through all of the stuff available and then found something you thought they would love. I would say go for it.

Generally speaking there is an expectation that Christmas or Birthday gifts are new. There are some exceptions:
* Pre-defined family holiday traditions i.e. JD’s family and others that have price caps
* “White Elephant” gift exchanges
* A gift for someone that is a collector of items that are traditionally found used
* Memorabilia
In this case it sounds like you haven’t already given them used items, it would be best to give them as a non-occasion ” I saw these and thought of you”. Maybe you could start a new tradition of giving gently used gifts in your family.

I would rather get a good quality used item than a new “dollar tree” item. That’s my take.

But this is a PF blog and one where many people are really frugal and have that mindset. I thought everyone in my family did, until one day my sister made a comment about giving used things for Christmas presents…”What’s the difference between shopping at a thrift store or just going into your closet and pulling out something and giving it to them?” It took me back, but I realized that there isn’t much difference.

Since then, I’ve pretty much tried to find new things. But alas, if I can’t find something good (and affordable), I don’t buy much at all. We don’t exchange with anyone bu immediate family, however.

I don’t care about designer purses, though.. I wouldn’t recognize a Coach purse (or the other one) though I do like purses. I don’t watch tv, so the advertisements are kind of lost on me. But I do like purses.

For someone older, I’d probably just buy something new.

The person who mentioned fruitcake…there were people who actually liked it!

It depends on the situation. If it’s agreed upon before hand it’s ok. I buy gifts through the United Way Program for people living in shelters during Christmas. In their gift specs, they require you to buy a NEW gift, as this is the only gift the receiver will be getting. The older folks (over 60 crowd) usually request toiletries, slippers and clothing. This is one situation where you SHOULD BUY NEW.

If the niece would appreciate the fact that the handbags are designer, or just would like the style of the bags, and the bags are in very good condition and clean, I see no problem with it. But maybe broach the subject with them ahead of time, talk to them about the great deals on great stuff you get at thrift stores, see what they think of thrift store stuff.
In general, I think gifting something from the thrift store is tricky. As a lot of commenters have said, a lot of people have concerns about wearing something someone else wore. (Me, I run everything through the wash before I wear it, cos even brand new stuff could have been tried on by someone at the store.) Then again, celebrities often get the fancy stuff they wear on loan, and multiple people have worn the same garmet. I suspect most of the people who have issues with wearing thrift store stuff would jump at the chance to wear some of the elegant stuff that celebrities wear. And, ya know, few guys quibble about renting tuxes instead of buying them, even tho rental tuxes have certainly been worn a lot. So, I think some of the people who claim to have an issue with wearing something “that’s been worn before” really have an issue with some other aspect of the secondhand clothes concept. Likely some part of the problem is ‘I do so love new clothes’ combined with ‘ending is better than mending’.

Really, if someone has the nerve to ask you where you bought their present, that’s just tacky in itself, unless there really is something wrong with it & it needs to be returned where it came from. There is no problem with giving a thrift store gift if it is in fantastic shape. You shouldn’t give gifts that need any kind of repair or have any kind of wear or smell. Barring that, there should be no problem with it. I have received more than my own share of ridiculously thrifty gifts from cheap relatives…and I’m talking about things like a digital clock & calendar encased in an acrylic frame that actually had a plaque with someone else’s name on it (and it was a name I completely did not recognize).

A simple rule has always helped me both for re-gifting and thrift store gifting, if the receiver would purchase it for themselves or if I have reason to believe they would, I have no problem purchasing it for them as a gift.

I am in my mid 20s, and when I was an undergrad, while I might have appreciated a brand-new looking designer bag, regardless of where it came from, many of my classmates would not have. Granted, at my school affluence was the norm, so my view may have been skewed. Now out of school, I’d think it even better, since the value of a dollar is much more apparent to me.

I echo what has been said about asking their parents for guidance, but if that is something you’d rather not do or if the answers have not been clear, you might consider where your nieces go to school, and how they, and their peers, are paying for their education.

I say this because, in my experience, college students who work during school to pay for tuition or expenses have a very different view on spending than students who have all of their expenses paid by their parents. If your nieces have received grants/scholarships, but most of their friends work, then secondhand bags would likely be more accepted.

Finally, I LOVE LOVE LOVE JC’s idea of using the bags as “gift bags”, and putting a few purse staples in the bags. I think a few luxe (but inexpensive) purse items will really show your nieces that this gift is something that you took time to think about and personalize for them, rather than simply trying to save money on their gifts.

Off the top of my head, I recommend Victoria’s Secret breath mints, which are about $3 and come in a pretty tin, a $5-10 gift card to Starbucks, and my favorite, Rimmel Vinyl Lip gloss, which is about $4 at Target. Target also has some cute travel sized nail files.

This subject just came up when our brand new granddaughter was given a gift from a friend of mine of 3 sleepers from a thrift store. The giver advised that these were used and that she always shopped at Thrift stores. I was thrilled, because my personal belief is that we should re-use things (especially sleepers that last a whopping few weeks) and also it was a great introduction to being frugal right at the beginning of a life. It may be that you have to pick and choose who you would give a used gift to, (I’m sure mother-in-laws would be horrified!) but I do think it re-enforces your personal philosophy of “waste not – want not” Cheers…Diana Young, author of Financial Fitness for Beginners.

I read all the comments and I have one answer -I hope the person- CC- who said she would cry all day if she got a thrift store purse was joking. Otherwise- I hope someone gets her some serious help. If you don’t like something, get rid of it. Crying over a gift all day – unless you are 7 years old- really? .

My mother in law told me that she saw fantastic second hand baby clothes in the thrift shop for my baby. Now I am trying to figure out how to say her “no, second hand baby clothes will not be for my kid” without hurting her feelings. Any suggestions?

While I am a huge, big-time thrifter – by choice, even though we are extremely well-off financially, I am certainly NOT going to spend more on someone than I want to just because they want the “designer” stuff. I, too, like so many of the other commenters have found amazing things in thrift – like-new and barely, if ever used/worn. We are such a wasteful country – and it’s the reason why so many people are struggling financially – they just don’t feel that something “used” regardless of how lightly – is good enough for them. Do you know how many of those girls/women walking around right now with a Louis Vitton bag on their shoulder really don’t “own” them – the banks do as they are still paying them off on their credit card!! I’d rather pick one up at thrift for $50, clean it up and “own” it!

I think it depends on the item , it’s condition and the receiver.If it’s clean and like new ( sometimes you can find items with their tag still on or their box still intact)then how would they know anyway ? But if it’s something in used condition then it should only be a “just because” gift not a holiday or special occasion gift Unless you are gifting to someone you know would appreciate it and not mind the 2nd handedness of it.
It would be fine in my immediate family but I wouldn’t do it for my extended family members or friends.

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