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I realized how fast a mind can prepare itself for the coming shitstorm

In the duration of 10 seconds:

1. buy kleenex for all2. get a 'Congratulations on your new bundle of joy' card3. identity search to verify non-serial killer status4. extra gift wrap5. is he a Bears fan?6. expect to get wedgies by new to me older bro7. hide the Will8. too many bro's, one gotta go