Old Faithful

For three decades longtime Toronto Star scribe Dave Perkins has eschewed the bells and whistles of new putter technology and remained loyal to a model made famous by the Golden Bear.

So Jack Nicklaus, the one and only, walks over to my golf bag, lifts out my putter and squints at it like a jeweller eyeballing an emerald for subtle flaws.

“No. This isn’t the one,’’ Jack finally decides and with some of that statement I must strongly disagree. It surely is not the actual old MacGregor Response ZT (Zero Twist) 615 putter, the fabled brick-on-a-stick, with which Nicklaus won the 1986 Masters. That club has gone missing. But for 30 years this particular Response has been my bread-and-butter putter, my trusted companion around the world and, fairly often, a money-maker of such proficiency that a couple of times, facing outbursts of impending rectitude, I felt obliged to declare him on my income taxes. Happily, those moments passed quickly.

My radio pal, Bob McCown of Prime Time Sports on Toronto’s Sportsnet 590 The Fan, says he has 125 putters, all found wanting, standing guard silently along one wall of his garage. But Bob might be exaggerating; I don’t think he has more than 80 or 90 discarded flatsticks. So I am only 80 or 90 behind him because my Response — which, somehow, never acquired a lasting nickname — has been the sole putter I have owned and used since 1988. Yes folks, that’s 30 years.

As it happens, my saintly and long-suffering wife and I were married early in 1988, so do the arithmetic. She is not a golfer and golfers will nod knowingly when I say, diplomatically, that I am enjoying two 30-year anniversaries this year. It goes without saying which is more rare.

My Response was acquired at a long-since-departed golf shop in Dunedin, Fla., during spring training for the Blue Jays back when I was a full-time baseball writer. We all know about Nicklaus winning that ’86 Masters with the Response and how MacGregor, which had budgeted for total sales of 6,000, found 5,000 orders arriving the day after Jack’s win. Eventually, more than 300,000 of the varmints were sold. Mine had already lingered for a while; the plastic was still on it, along with the original price sticker of $129.95. Those putters were not uniformly loved by their purchasers, apparently. Word of mouth, in those pre-Yelp days, was not entirely compelling and my future life partner was in a discount bin priced at $29.95. Apparently, it had lost $100 worth of weight in its idleness.

I hefted it in the store, liked the feel and decided I would be clever and save $100. Besides, I thought, “If it’s good enough for Jack, it’s good enough for me.”

Well, neighbours, it was been wonderful for me. My swing has come and gone a few times and probably 25 drivers have found their way into, and quickly out of, my bag. Sand and lob wedges arrive and depart like new haircuts. There have been at least three new sets of irons assigned to the fray and probably five different golf bags to carry everything, but for 30 years that putter stood proudly, secure in the knowledge that he would be the best club in my bag no matter what else was there.

ALLAN PERKINS

Not that we have been without rancour. I have insulted him and called him names — words with Ks in them, yes — and tossed him a few times for perceived insubordination. He has been disciplined when he deserved it and when he didn’t. He has dings, dents and scratches and less original colour than a Kardashian’s hair. About 10 years ago he needed a new grip, which neither of us was comfortable with for a whole season. His shaft has a hint of scoliosis. The national airline once lost him for three days and returned him soaking wet. But, lord, how he could — still can — make the ball find the hole. Put him inside 10 feet and you can still see him smirk. He once played Augusta National, the morning after a Masters in a press lottery, without a three-putt. Honestly. Sure, that was more about a spectacular caddie who knew the greens thoroughly, but still. Caddie would ask on every hole what putt I saw, then gently correct me. “No,” he would say. “Hit it over that dark spot like you’re hitting a six-footer back home.” His device was immaculate; my second putt was never more than three or four feet straight up the line and those I can make in my sleep.

So, how did Jack get his hands on my club? It was about 15 years ago, back when The Players was held the week after Arnold Palmer’s Bay Hill Invitational in Orando, Fla. For several years I covered both tournaments for the Toronto Star and on the Monday between events the World Golf Hall of Fame in nearby St. Augustine would hold an outing for the press to beat the drums for a coming new exhibit. The year of the Nicklaus showing, a bunch of us played golf, had lunch with Jack and then he walked us around his exhibit before it opened to the public. Nice, easy and interesting story for an off day.

That morning I played golf and putted like Ben Crenshaw and won the money and there behind the 18th green was Nicklaus, welcoming lunch mates.

One of my skins game victims pointed at me and said, “Jack, this guy uses that old Response almost as good as you.”

Jack’s eyes narrowed and, well, you know the rest. Jack had somehow lost the club he had won that ’86 Masters with and now checked every Response’s serial number on the off chance it might turn up.

“Where did you get this one?” he asked.

I relayed the story, told him of my love affair with it. The Golden Bear was pleased — especially when I told him I had won more than a few dollars with it over the years. He wished it continued good health and returned it.

All that was 15 yeas ago and last I checked, Nicklaus still hadn’t found his famous Response ZT.

And I still won’t part with mine.

Wandering Eyes

Not in a long-term relationship with your putter? Here are four new models to take on a date this year.

O-Works red Marxman

This striking progressive mallet design has a distinctive white alignment line set against a red head, a colour contrast requested by several Odyssey tour staff members. While the aesthetics are sexy, it’s the Microhinge Face insert — whereby tiny hinges on the face flex upon impact — that gets the ball rolling with topspin immediately.

Ping Vault 2

The big improvement in Ping’s new Vault putters is a custom-weighting system, whereby sole heels are offered in steel (standard), tungsten (heavy) and aluminum (light) to match a golfer’s balance preferences. True Roll — a mix of shallow and deep groves to ensure the ball rolls out the same distance wherever it strikes the face — continues to be a staple.

TP Black Copper Soto

This is the putter that has Rory McIlroy rolling the ball so well again (well, except for in the final round of the Masters). It’s a clean and classic blade design aimed at golfers who prefer to release the toe through impact. TaylorMade’s Pure Roll Insert — downward angled grooves that impart topspin at impact — is a key feature.

Scotty Cameron Select Newport 2

Beauty continues to be the hallmark of Scotty Cameron’s classic blade putter and this most recent version ups the ante with refined contours and sight cues. From a technology standpoint, Cameron concentrated on feel through more vibration dampening material and on a square setup thanks to a four-way balancing system.