The Devel Sixteen is proof you don’t have to be smart — or, at least, self-aware — to be rich

Unfortunately, I am embarrassed to say, this one is for the guys only.

Now, listen closely, guys. Do you have lots of money? Like a disposable couple of million? Do you like supercars? I guess what I’m trying to say is—do you have a couple of million just itching to be blown on something exotic?

Yes? OK, then, how about this: Do you also have small—

Hands? Really, really small hands. Like Donald Trump-sized hands? Y’know, they-don’t-make-gloves-this-small small. Do people often mistake your, err, hand as a finger? That kind of small.

If the answer, again, is yes, then have I got a car for you. It’s called the Devel Sixteen and though the money-men hail from far off Dubai, the engine is built just down the road in Michigan by a hot-rodder named Steve Morris.

The Devel Sixteen at the 2019 Canadian International Auto Show in Toronto.

And what an engine it is. Though the mock-up being displayed at the Toronto auto show has a fairly standard Chevy V8 stuck amidship, the engine Morris is building for the Devel is a V16 — 12.3 litres of V16, in fact. With four turbochargers, no less.

And unlike the rest of the car, which is (unsurprisingly) pretty much vapourware, the engine — maybe because it was built in Michigan instead of Dubai — is real. Morris says he’s already seen 4,515 horsepower on the dyno. But that’s only because his dyno only goes up to 4,515 horsepower. He suspects it actually makes more somewhere around 5,000.

Since debuting at CIAS in Toronto its Dubai-based builder promised that we would see its production-spec debut before the end of the year.

“The production of Devel Sixteen is currently at full speed,” a representative told Carbuzz on February 21.

“Our goal is to reveal the production version of the car by year end. However, we have yet to decide the destination to unveil this ultimate hypercar to the world. We will keep you posted at a later date.”

The Devel Sixteen at the 2019 Canadian International Auto Show in Toronto.

Now, the big question is, who needs 5,000 horsepower? Check that—no one needs even 500 horsepower, so 5,000 is just plain silly. No, the bigger question is: Who can handle 5,000 horsepower in a street car?

The simple answer is “nobody.” If the man/machine interface really is all about man trying to tame machine, then driving a Devel Sixteen will be a constant reaffirmation you are, well, inadequate.

Let me put this more simply: Unless you’re a card-carrying, tire-smoking NHRA Top Fuel drag racer, you will never ever, I absolutely promise you, be able to handle what this car can give. Its only possible use will be to try to fool people you don’t actually know — otherwise, you couldn’t really fool them, could you? — you have big, you know, hands.

This is the stupidest car I have ever heard of, proof that you don’t have to be smart — or, at least, self-aware — to be rich.