Manhattan and Cumbria - they have so much in common the Gnome has to tell you about it...

Tuesday, January 2

Vampire Triage

The Gnome spent Christmas in hospital. Don't feel too sorry - although not self inflicted it was just one of those things. An unfortunate ingestion of viral particles from some unseen and forgotten source having a rather unfortunate effect on the liver. The Gnome has discovered nothing quite dampens a party spirit like the projectile vomiting of bile...

Lying on a gurney on Cristmas Eve in the local A&E (equivalent to the ED for American readers) the Gnome was of course attended by several medical staff as time went on. There seemed to be a very precise hierarchy of visits, starting with the lowly (but charming) triage nurse and slowly working up to the full force of a senior consultant, with a few Housemen and Registrars in between.

All of them tended to ask the same things, but there was a wording change in one question that perked the Gnome up. Previous medics had inquired "Are your eyes sensitive to bright lights", but this one registrar (and the Gnome kids you not when he says the medic in question was from Eastern Europe with an accent to match) looked him straight in the eye and said "Do you shy from the light?"

At that moment, it felt only a matter of time before the crucifix and garlic came out...