Inspired writings

Some of you know I’ve been volunteering weekly at a senior center for the past few months. It began as a way to “show up” and be of service in my community.

I have always loved the elderly. My first job was at a retirement center where I had the joy of serving seniors their dinner meal. They delighted in me recalling their favorite beverages, or desserts … buttermilk, V-8, rainbow sorbet, to name a few.

Their joy in the simple things had an impact on my life.

So, when I set out to volunteer some of my time, I simply took the first step to find a senior center near me that felt good. I was fortunate to find one close to home. The online employee reviews were glowing: “I love working here; I love our residents; we’re all a family.” Well, that did it! This was my place.

Long story short, I volunteer by calling out Bingo numbers, playing varying themes of the game, and then I read short stories for an hour. Many cannot read any longer due to changes in their vision, so being read to is a big treat.

Interestingly, when I set out to volunteer, I had no idea I’d wind up in a Memory Care facility. This particular facility just shifted to serve people with early onset, and full-blown dementia and Alzheimer’s in January 2017. Their website did not indicate this, at least not that I noticed. So, as I began working with these amazing people, funny things began to happen.

They would tell me stories about their lives, because I’d asked. Many are in their 80’s, 90’s and even one dear lady is 102! Boy, the stories they can tell! Later I discovered that some of their stories were made up. They were fabricating parts of their past – Ha! I would’ve never guessed! They seemed so serious and “real!”

My initial, human response was “she lied about that?!” Then, my next thought was “isn’t that just adorable?!” |You see, they don’t care…

They are in a state of being in between worlds; the one they lived in, and the state they’re in now. Some are still aware enough to know they’re struggling with their minds, others haven’t a clue … and, there seems to be some "magic" there.

Of course, not for those family members who are watching their loved ones “slip away,” but for me --- the outsider, I see magic. I see a joyous detachment from any striving. I see a relaxed state of acceptance. They don’t care so much what others think. They are just (mostly) happy.

I have learned a lot from these folks. I have learned that life is a gift. I have learned it all passes far too fast. I'm reminded of this each week. I have learned humility from watching them gracefully, and in a state of acceptance, navigate things that were once so easy for them, and are no longer.

So, what if - like them - we didn’t care so much?

Of course, it’s good to care, but sometimes we care too much …

We’re too attached to our stories, our “truth, or reality,” instead of simply just being in a state of wonder, in a state of humility, or gratitude for the simple things like someone remembering we love buttermilk with our dinner … accepting 'what is' without struggle, and therefore living in that state of grace. I don't know about you, but I want more of that please!

I am reminded it’s all about how we hold things in our mind … our perspective. Wisdom can come from anywhere, even from those who society would label “difficult, challenged, or mentally slipping.” They remind me weekly to let go a bit, relax, and allow things to be as they are.

Thank you Eleanor, Jean, Babe, Lee, Kenneth, Doris, Laverne, and sweet, 102-year old Lillian, and the rest of you. You are forever etched in my heart and mind as some of my dearest and most brilliant teachers, as you teach me to remember what’s important here and now. I honor you!

If you’re feeling particularly challenged to see the beauty, grace and gifts in a difficult situation you’re facing, one of my favorite subjects to coach around is finding “miracles and magic in the mess.” Contact me and let’s have a conversation that matters … one that allows you to see how life can offer you lemonade from lemons, even when we at-first we cannot fathom such an outcome.

You’ve heard the old saying “what you focus on gets bigger?” It’s known as a fundamental law of the Universe, called the Law of Attraction. Follow me here, I’m going to tell you a story …

Today, I was mixing up some bread. Yep, homemade pumpkin bread. As usual, when the mixing is over and the bread’s in its pan, I lick the beaters. And, I scrape the bowl with my spatula to get all of the delectable morsels left there, too.

We all did this as kids, right? My mom always divided the beaters up amongst us, and the luckiest one got the bowl and spatula. Mmm-mmmm!

Now, most might tell you “that’s unsafe; there are raw eggs in that mix!” (blah, blah, blah)

I never died, much less ever got sick from this childhood pleasure. And, herein lies my conclusion based upon this Universal law.

What we focus on gets bigger (aka, the magnifying affect).

Ever notice when things go bad, they go downhill fast? Ever wonder why that is? How we “hold” something in our minds has a lot to do with the outcome. If you want to test it out, just follow your negative thoughts and see how things seem to spiral downhill fast, one thing after the next (aka, the domino affect).

Awesome thing is with the Law of Attraction, your feelings are a pretty good indicator that if what you’re doing or looking at is loved, liked, or appreciated, it’s going be okay (unless you stuff yourself with raw eggs, of course – this isn’t where I’m going with this!).

So, unless you want more of that stuff you don’t want, stop looking at it, focusing on it, talking about it, stewing over it, sharing it, blogging about it, posting it on social media --- you get my point. That focus will just make it not only bigger, but bring more stuff just like it into your current reality.

The morale of this story … lick the beaters! Pay attention to how you feel. If it’s joyful, you’re probably okay (of course, inherent in this proclamation is ‘do no harm’).

Worry about the stuff that really matters, but keep it to a minimum unless you want a whole lot more of it. If you’re unfamiliar with this law, try amping up your happiness and joy intentionally --- smile, say a kind word, offer a nice gesture and see how great things go from there! Lick the beaters! I promise you, you won’t die!

If you have been weathering unexpected rainstorms, loss or tragedy, one of my favorite subjects to coach around is finding “miracles and magic in the mess” of this sometimes unpredictable and crazy life. Feel free to drop me a line, and let’s have a conversation that matters … one that allows you to see how life can offer us lemonade from lemons, even when we at-first we cannot fathom such an outcome.

So often we find ourselves faced with dilemmas, a crisis, or a challenge. That’s life, right?

We’ve often heard the wisdom of “it’s how we walk through those times that defines us.” Yeah, yeah, yeah … but when I’m knee-deep in a crisis, I am not always thinking clearly --- and, more often than not there is a sense of panic, chaos, and no semblance of logic. Been there, as well? Me too, and more times than I can count!

So, how do we determine what we should be “freaking out” over and what is just “small stuff?”

What are the Mountains, and what are the Molehills?

This week, all over our world natural disasters are rearing their ugly heads. For those of us in “safe harbors,” we are affected only by what we hear, those we may know who live in, or around these areas, and as well we may be affected if we’re sensitive to the suffering of others (or have been though this ourselves at one time).

It is at these times, we get to put things in perspective.

If it’s not life-threatening, and you know it’ll pass, then it’s a Molehill … a small challenge that in short order will simply be forgotten, such as ---

-A traffic jam-Being cut off on the highway by a “jerk”-The flu-A low test score-A bad meal at a restaurant-An argument with someone-Bad weather

These are what I call “small stuff.” What many are facing around our world is what I call the “big stuff.” Natural disasters, losses beyond comprehension, death, devastation … THIS IS the “big stuff.”

The trick is knowing the difference and responding appropriately.

After losing everything I owned in a natural disaster, including the temporary loss of my health, my family’s health and all of my material belongings, I learned swiftly what life’s “big stuff” was. Only in hindsight did I come to understand there was a gift underneath the losses, the pain, confusion and heartache.

Even now, my responses to what others term a crisis is mild, and I’m sure it’s due to the losses and tragedy I myself endured … which, turns out made me a stronger, more solid person. It taught me up-close-and-personal just what Mountains are and what a Molehill is. I learned about perspective.

So, what are you sweating? The “big stuff,” or the “small stuff?”

I would encourage you to step back when faced with a challenging situation and ask yourself the question … is this a Mountain or a Molehill? A good litmus test is to ask “will this matter tomorrow; how about next week, or next month --- even next year?” If the answer is “no,” it’s a Molehill.

Walk through those smaller things with confidence that you’ve overcome much before, and you’ll overcome again. For those at ground-zero in the midst of chaos, my heart, my compassion and my deepest sympathies go to you during this time of uncertainty.

I will share this with you --- You will survive, you will be stronger, and it will end. I promise! Until then, hold onto those you love, and keep the faith.

If you have been weathering unexpected rainstorms, loss or tragedy, one of my favorite subjects to coach around is finding “miracles and magic in the mess” of this sometimes unpredictable and crazy life. Feel free to drop me a line, and let’s have a conversation that matters … one that allows you to see how life can offer us lemonade from lemons, even when we at-first we cannot fathom such an outcome.

Author

I help others see Magic and Miracles in the Mess. As an Inspired Life Coach, I am a gifted communicator, writer, and teacher, and Reiki practitioner with the capacity of intuitively reaching hearts and minds. I am able to present a new vision to people, of themselves, and their lives bringing clarity, inspiration and joy.