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Polygamists

4.21.20084.21.2008

I’m so glad I am not a polygamist.

First of all, I don’t really like pie. I know that is weird. Pie is good, but for some reason, I don’t like to eat it because usually it is too hot and I burn my tongue, and it is too sweet, so it gives me a crazy sugar high really fast and then I am exhausted. Polygamists seem to eat a lot of pie. I am not sure if this is a known fact, but a pie seems to complete the polygamist outfit.

Which leads me to the outfit – even though pastels like baby blue, lilac and soft pink flatter me, I don’t want to wear the big shouldered prairie dress. Don’t get me wrong â€“ I love “Little House on the Prairie” but only when it is kept in the realm of â€˜dragâ€™ and not worn every day for religious purposes. The shoulders are too wide and lambchoppy to make anyone look good.

I don’t want to marry anyone that much older than me. Not just because of the sex (which would be not so fun to begin with but at least old people finish either super fast or super slow) but because there would be nothing fun to talk about. How do you relate to each other? It would be boring!

I also don’t want to be a polygamist because then I would probably have to cook or clean and I don’t know how to do either of those things. Also I have terrible allergies, so if I had to live in any kind of compound situation I am sure I would die of a runny nose.

As someone who has been a life long polyamorist, been in a group marriage for a while, albeit the two men/one woman variety, and been around a lot of group marriages of all kinds, I would like to point out that what is at issue in the Texas case is child abuse, not the right of consenting adults to have group marriages.

Abusers find a natural haven in organizations, religious or otherwise, that give adults unquestioned authority over minors. I think that is the crux of the problem.

It’s not the polygamy that really bothers me here. If a man wants to live with many wives, and it doesn’t interfere with my life, then it’s A OK with me, but for the life of me, I can’t understand why. Before my marriage broke up last year, I was having a hard enough time with just one. Whats wrong with this picture in my book is the polygamy mixed with pedophilia. I have 2 teenage daughters, and if ANYBODY even suggested to me that they should marry men as old as I am, I would lose it. Polygamy is one thing. Child molestation is a whole different thing altogether. I don’t advocate keeping these children from their parents, but if child marriages are being arranged within the family, can anybody really support sending the kids home to that?

Well, I think it is quite an ideal relationship. I think Polygamy goes both ways, no? I’m approaching it like a brotherhood and I think it’s quite ideal. High income household and you’d never get bored of your partners. Since the gays can’t get married, we should be able to redefine family. I would love to have 4 other partners who knows how to play Mahjong. That way, I’ll never run out of Mahjong partners. They would need full time jobs while one of us stay home to cook and clean. Of course, it would be nearly impossible to introduce children in the relationship.

I’m just about sick and tired of people trying to justify the things that they do but putting a positive spin on everything. Obviously polygamy just will not work in this country, it will not be accepted and it just adds to the people arguing to protect the “sanctity” of marriage. We will never have “brotherhood” marriages in this nation, nor should we really. It’s bad enough that we have to fight to allow homosexual couples to marry, but adding polygamy to the list will just make the whole equal marriage issue a joke. There comes a point where idealism starts to border on the ridiculous and absurd notions of group marriage being functioning parts of society start to frustrate people working for the attainable. STOP with the flowery and just plain strange rhetoric about this issue, that isn’t even the main cause of this problem! This polygamists believe or at least practice child abuse and molestation, which our modern society still deems to be extremely wrong. It is sad that the children were taken away from their mothers, but there comes a point where you have to look at the morals and values of these people and assess if they are the right ones to raise children in. I know, everyone has different morals and values, but there are a few undeniable ones that all people should abide by. The fact that these children don’t even know who their fathers are, biologically, adds to the mess of confusion. I can’t say that I know how their society functions, in terms of who takes care of whom, but I can say that children have the right to know who their parents are, and to at least have a parent that is looking out for his or her best interest. If these mothers truly care about their children, then they will have to put the safety and wellbeing of their children above everything else, including the patriarchal demands of their society. If these means they have to be taken away for a period of time, then any mother would do it, for the benefit of their child.

I have to agree with scargosun–nobody in polygamist sects/cults seem to have good hair. The amount of White Rain that the FLDS chicks are using to support those huge crests of hair is probably a danger to the environment. Better call in the EPA while we’re at it.

Wow, I never thought my comment will yield such a strong response. Of course, we are both entitled to our own opinion. But let me share with you what I’m tired of, I’m tired of constantly fighting for the approval of people that want to control what I should do or what I should say. People who thinks I shouldn’t married because I’m gay, or even people who don’t think I should be gay because their god dislike gay people. I will live my life how I see fit, and say whatever I see fit. If I want to be with 5 other dudes and define my family that way, I will do so.

I’m not saying polygamy should be legal, gay marriage is not legal. So who cares what’s legal and what’s not? If my actions do not hurt others, I will do as I want. I’m not making gay marriage a joke, it’s a good thing and I recognize that, but looking for approval from others is a joke. What if the politicians do not approve gay marriage in our lifetime? Should we stop living the way we want? Or should we hold our breath until they approve?

We live in a society that members from the priviledged decide how the rest of the society should live. While I’m not happy about that, I will live happily through other means. And again if I am not hurting other people, should you care how I live?

Yves, many people in this country are afraid of gay partnerships and any marital status other than man/woman. Polygamy as it is defined in this country is usually one man, many women and has fallen into a stereotype of fundamentalist Christian sects, featuring young brides, shunning, and very closed to “normal” society. Polyamory is a newer word meaning many loves, and is closer to what you are describing as your four way Mahjong masterpiece.
Also, polyamory or responsibly non-monogamy is not nor should it be associated with child abuse issues.
Gay marriage should be legal, in my opinion, and if you find those Mahjong players, good on ya!

If you had even remotely read my comment somewhat thoroughly, you would know that I was disagreeing with the notion of legalizing polygamy and/or making that an issue to be discussed in public forums. If you want to live with 5 other guys and play Mahjong, go right ahead and do so. However, don’t expect to drum up a lot of support from others when you want to legalize that living arrangement. What I’m saying is discussing legalization of polygamy DOES trivialize people fighting for gay marriage rights, because people, (who aren’t educated enough on either of the two situations) will lump them both together, and dismiss it all as ridiculous. I want to have legal gay marriage in this country because I want the tax breaks, the inheritance rights and all of the other legalities that comes with marriage. I want to know my partner is protected and cared for, in case of my death. I also want to know that he and I are LEGALLY considered family. As much as you will consider the 5 other men your family, in the eyes of the law, you are not, and THAT is one of the main issues that affects gay rights the most. I don’t need approval from anyone telling me that my living arrangement is okay, I just need to have legal support, in case of anything that might come up for the two of us. I don’t think that we live in such an oppressive society, and the “privileged” can decide what’s legal or not. Things can change, and things will change, as long as people are dedicated to the cause. I for one, will not accept finding happiness in one area of my life, while not being able to in other parts.

I fail to see how knowing who your father is has anything to do with the situation, but I’ll agree that coerced marriage or sexual relations with those who are not of the age of consent is illegal in this country. However, if that’s what they were concerned about, why did all the kids, including boys and younger children, all get bounced if there was not even an inkling of evidence that any of them were in any kind of danger, other than the supposed threat of following a religious path and lifestyle outside the norm? Sounds like yet more xenophobic bullshit perpetuated by a state bloated with its own power to me…..

I think that it’s just the media blowing things up. I mean, don’t get me wrong; there are those people out there who will marry off little girls. But that’s not polygamy.
Polygamy is being able to commit yourself to more than one person, of course a better word would be polyamory.
Love is infinite, you can always make more, and just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice another love for them.
But then again, here in Texas. Anything outside of the Religious-Right-Cultural-Norm is considered Immoral, Sinful, Harmful, and just plain Wrong. That is why the Religious-Right is full of nothing but gorillas, they haven’t progressed. Hell, if they ruled the world, Nothing. Would. Ever. Change. No progression, no advancement. Not. Anything.