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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Lord of the Flies...featuring real flies

I’m calling it : Summer is going to be totally shit in
the Parental Parody household.

Why so pessimistic about what has always been my most
favourite time of year?

It’s the flies. I blame the flies.

That’s not to say that I’m already having a
whine about swatting them from my wine.

You see, the twin tornado are deathly scare of them.

This is a new development, because I don’t recall witnessing
any major meltdowns over the past 2 summer’s that the twin tornado have
been on this earth and the flies land en masse.

Here in Perth, summer officially started a few weeks ago.

Cue balmy, warm weather.

Cue the influx of flies.

The twins will be happily playing away, then out of nowhere
the screaming, screeching tantrums start. Synchronised style.

All over a fly that has dared land within a 2 metre radius
of them.

Bring it

To put this into perspective….

This is a set of twins who regularly chase the cat –
the cat who has finally decided that enough is enough, and actually takes a
half hearted swipe in their vicinity from time to time. Which only makes them
laugh hysterically and pursue him further.

This is a set of twins who saw a cockroach and laughed
hysterically, also while chasing it.

This is a set of twins who bark back at dogs.

This is a set of twins capable of intimidating me when they’re
in dual ranty tanty mode.

This is a set of twins who are totally unphased by me when I’m
in ranty tanty mode.

But spot an itty bitty fly anywhere near them, and they go
nuts.

Now I know that you can train homing pigeons, monkeys, dogs
and dolphins.

I want to know if anyone out there can train flies?

Fly(t) school....geddit?

What’s that? You don’t want
to eat your vegetables? Well let me just get the flies to come and take your plate away….

What’s that? You don’t want
to learn how to use the potty? Well I’ll just get my fly army to change your nappies from now on…

What’s that? You don’t want
to come inside and have a bath? Well it is the flies turn in the sandpit, so I’m sure you don’t
mind sharing your bucket and spade, right?