The heavy, unstable steps off the lowered plank of the Highwind
probably would have been the most enjoyable and welcome of Renos life
had it not been for the brunette who literally bounded past him, shoving
him out of the way and taking a cute little ninja somersault onto the grass,
where she preceded to press against it lovingly. Ground, Yuffie
crowed, nearly orgasmically, real touchable thanks be to God not moving
land. I would fuck it if it had a dick.

Renos eyes strayed to the left, where a particularly long rock happened
to be jutting up from a collection of grass, but decided to keep his mouth
shut. Whether this had to do with post flying nausea or the desire not to
further imagine Miss. Kisargi bouncing on a piece of rock like a whore house
employee, he decided not to debate with himself. Instead, he stepped happily
onto land, and turned to await the descenst of the three people he hoped
would be able to keep him sane on this trip, Rude, Tseng, and God help him-
even Elena.

So, Kisargi, Tseng spoke with the voice of a true professional,
finally off the shaky legs that his temporary skit with death had given him
and back in full on business mode. I believe that Aeris said you would
know where to find these weapons?

Sometimes Reno wondered if his mentor truly was made of ice, but it didnt
seem probable. Ice was so slippery, and so changeable, all it took was a
little bit of heat or pressure either way and it would break or fade away.
But still cold... dry ice, that was it. Untouchable, so you couldnt
change it, and if you tried, youd have a hell of time pulling it away
when it fused to your skin and held the fuck on.

I only know of one place on this continent I havent been,
Yuffie said without a hint of modesty, and thats because its
sacred. If you think were going there, youre
crazy.

Why? Reno sneered, unable to hide his disgust for all things
religious. Superstitious idiots was definitely one of his red buttons.
Because if we do some big fish will dig its way through the rock and
spit water at us?

Not really concerned with her words or her threats either way- Reno had received
much worse and they all damn well knew it- the Turk was in the mood for a
bit of entertainment. He cocked an eyebrow, and posed with his hands on his
hips in a way he had seen Yuffie herself do more than once when he was feeling
stubborn. Oh come now, he said coyly, but his voice was laced
with venomous barbs, youd honestly spill blood of someone as
useful and entertaining to have around as myself before he left a foot print
or two on grass thats probably only called sacred because it has exactly
what we came to find, now would you?

Yuffie was having none of his games. Listen you son of
a-

Having baby sat more frequently then he liked to count through his life,
be it child, or merely adults acting as children, Tseng cut in before this
could escalate to something truly annoying and time wasting.
Listen! he said sharply. I was born here, and I know where
Yuffie is talking about. I also know you can get a very good view of the
land itself without actually standing on it. Thus, we are going to go look,
and if we see anything that could be these Legacy weapons, we go and get
them, gods be damned.

But- Reno and Yuffie started at the same time, though they each
had very different places they intended to
finish.

-understand? Tseng didnt allow them the courtesy of completing
their thoughts. Both of them stared at him with unconcealed frustration,
but they nodded. Just like dealing with five year olds, Tseng thought, and
stepped back. The Highwind was taking off, and there was no reason to end
this mission early by getting sucked into an intake vent and shredded in
one of the cooling fans.

They understood, but they didnt like it, and the walk into and through
the increasingly prosperous town was a quiet one. All three of the male members
were on high alert in case they happened to pass a materia or hand gun store,
ready to put a virtual leash on either of the weapon and magic obsessive
females they toted with them. It wasnt really a long trip to go from
their landing point to the beginning of the mountain path, but Wutai had
become a place thriving with commerce, specializing in arming its citizens
with anything that could possibly help them if another war happened to break
out.

The path up the mountain in and of itself was nothing spectacular except
in sheer length, as it would be a trying road to take without break even
if it wasnt on a slow and ever present ascent up. Reno and Yuffie in
particular had no such urge to even make the attempt, but when they were
a quarter way, and then a half way, Tseng and Rude still surged ahead of
all of them, showing no sign of either fatigue or stop. Even Elena, though
lagging behind the two front runners, surpassed both Reno and Yuffie, who
were forced to gripe at each other by default.

I thought you grew up here... youre trying to tell me that in
all that time you havent found a single damn better way up this stupid
hill? Reno took a shot, but his heart wasnt in it. His heart,
like most of his bodily fluids, had probably been sweated out during the
last two hours.

Your creepy leader up there with the head dot grew up here too, and
he doesnt know any better way. And its a mountain, show some
respect. That last part Yuffie said without much enthusiasm at all,
because even the most stubborn of people tend to list on an obviously lost
cause.

He spent twelve years hear, Reno replied smugly, youve
been around for what, at least fourteen?

Oh ha ha, Yuffie muttered, a height
joke.

Actually, Reno corrected her, wiping the glistening sweat from
his forehead for what had to be the ninth time in a row. It was an
experience joke. More specifically, your lack there of.

With a snort, Yuffie dismissed his insult. Ask any warrior on this
continent if Im experienced, and theyll
respond-

Reno cut her off with a smile, as shed walked right into the verbal door
he had left open for her. -that yeah, shes gotten the bed expertise
of the wisest crone, but god knows she fights with two left
feet.

Yuffie shot him a sour look. I dont think you should be thinking
about me having sex. Youre what, fifty?

This gave Reno cause for real pause, and he glared over at her. Excuse
me? he muttered. I seem to remember youre about three years
younger than me. It isnt my fault I have naturally rugged features
and youre something out of a pedophiles wet
dream.

Oh yeah? Yuffie snarled, realizing that she had talked herself
into a bad position, and was now trying to fight her way out of it by reducing
their conversation to a two word exchange. Reno, however, did not respond,
his eyes seemingly out of focus, and he stared out into the distance at a
peak of rocks.

What? Yuffie asked after her opening for a duel of yelling had
gone unaccepted for far longer than she was willing to cope with. What
is it?

...nothing, Reno said distractedly, and hastily pulled his sunglasses
from his jacket pocket and popped them onto his face.

What the hell? Yuffie asked, as he continued to stare at the
same spot. Please dont tell me those are actually prescription
glasses. An assassin who needs eye correctional tools?

Reno resigned himself to ignore her, and then decided to ignore the entire
issue that had started her talking again. The wind blowing a few rocks over
was nothing to stare at anyway, it probably happened all the time in windy
areas. As long as they were prevalent with rocks, of course. Shrugging back
his dark blue jacket in hope of ventilating his body a little, Reno picked
up his pace to catch up with Elena, who at the very least could finish a
sentence without reminding him of one of those stupid cheerleaders who liked
to walk through the slums with an entourage of at least fifteen preppy bitch
jocks in an effort to look tough.

So... he said brightly as he drew up behind her, and then quickly
drew a blank on how to continue. Not until Elena gave him the same sort of
look he imagined hed have given Yuffie did he even really struggle
in sequelizing his first thought with a second. Some pretty fucked
up shit is going on here, isnt it?

...you noticed them too? Elena acting genuinely
surprise.

Now it was Reno giving her the look. Noticed them? We have two corpses
walking around, both of which giving us orders, and only one of which barely
felt like listening to even when he was alive. In case you havent noticed,
I havent had much time to drink lately, so I am coherent enough to
realize such things, yes.

Havent had time to drink? Elena thought with a snort. That was a laugh.
It was common knowledge that Reno carried on him the same number of flasks
that he did pistols, and while the total wasnt known to anyone besides
the red haired Turk himself, it was common knowledge that the number was
higher than two. I wasnt talking about *that*, Elena snapped,
though she did allow herself to admit that yes- it was quite odd,
Im talking about Tseng and Rude. Theyre acting like they
always do when someone is tailing us!

Reno blinked. You know how they act when people are following
us?

Walk ahead, untuck their shirts so they can get to their guns faster,
and keep their sunglasses low so they can look around better. Sort of like
you walk, except they do it on purpose, and not just because theyre
stumbling idiots. Elena said simply.

Ah... One thing Reno was starting to regret about Elenas
apparent transformation was the rampant bitchiness which was just starting
to reveal itself. He continued to walk at an accelerated pack, catching up
to both Rude and Tseng, and noticed that indeed they seemed to be prowling
with extra caution. Tsengs eyes never left the path ahead, but Rude
glanced at him from the corner of his sunglasses.

So youve seen them too. Tseng said simply, not a question
but a fact. In fact, Reno had no idea who the hell them was supposed
to be, but he nodded anyway.

One, he said, glancing around, what the hell was
it?

Not sure. It was Rude who answered this time, which would have
been obvious even if Rude were blind thanks to the quick, halting speech.
Big. He supplied, which was a sentence filled with colorful
description that just wasnt very common of Renos old best
friend.

Uh... Reno stopped dead, and his hand when straight to the handle
of his knight stick, and then dropped away, almost as much as his jaw. How
big?

Reno pointed a finger that would have been shaking if it wasnt for
years of practice staying still while hopped up on caffeine pills. Both Rude
and Tseng followed his look, until their eyes rested on an unusually high
rock formation that they both could have sworn hadnt been there before.
And then they realized it was looking at them, too. The top of it turned
a bit to the side, like a human turns its head when deep in contemplation,
and then with a shattering thud, the huge collection of rocks sagged down
onto the path.

It had to have been the most bizarre humanoid Reno had ever seen since waking
up a week after the day that would have been his senior prom- you know, if
hed gone to school- with a girl he affectionately referred to as oh
my god... since that day. It was formed entirely of rock the same color
and type that made the mountain they were walking on, but it was shaped almost
like a gorilla, with stout legs, two massive, hulking arms, and a small,
narrow head. A hush fell over the five travelers as it slowly raised that
head to peer over them, and with growing dread, they turned
around.

Behind them, stood a second one.

Uh... Reno said, and then repeated it. After that, there was
silence, as the two towering pillars of rock simply seemed to be staring
at them and sizing them up. There was the briefest of seconds where time
itself seemed to stop, and no one moved.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Three quick rounds fired from the tip of Rudes Desert Eagle. 45, smashing
with a dull ping sound into the rocky heads of the creature they had seen
first. A few puffs of dust flew into the air upon the impact of each one,
but other than that no visible effect did the bullets have on the creature-
save one. That one was it made it very, very mad.

With a loud grating sound, the beast leapt forward, clearing a remarkable
distance in a short amount of time. Its sudden movement seemed to snap the
Turks back to life, and three pistols joined Rudes and blazed with fire.
Yuffie, who knew her metal chakram would have even less effect on the monster
than the bullets were, began to sort through her bag in search of any type
of materia that might be helpful. Fire would be useless, Ice would bounce
off...

Meanwhile, even after the clips of the Turks guns had been emptied and the
barrels to their pistols were smoking and red hot, the creature advanced
still. The four scattered as it came nearer, and it ended up barging through
nothing but thin air, but turned easily to face them once again. Behind it
they could see the second monster, which was advancing at a much slower rate,
apparently not as enraged as the first that the humans had dared shoot at
him. Reno fumbled for his night stick and tripped, landing hard on his back
in the dirt even as he ripped the weapon loose.

The rock beast used this time to raise up right about the red haired men
and raised its granite arms high above its head, at the same time as Reno
pointed the Magna-Rod at the spot where its eyes should be. He thumbed the
trigger all the way back, and a powerful jolt of electric lashed from the
top and struck the beast with a force that would knock out any man and kill
most of them. For a moment, the creature froze, and looked like it was going
to collapse.

And then it shrugged its shoulders, and prepared to
strike.

Right... Reno muttered helplessly, immeasurably disappointed
in the effect his weapon had delivered. Bracing his hand and knee hard on
the ground, he shoved and rolled out of the way of the downward strike, which
had enough force to actually put a large crack in the path itself. The second
one had reached him by this point, and utilizing its slightly longer legs
than the first, reached back to kick him just as the second went for another
arm shot. Rock smashed against rock in a horrible crunch, and Reno took advantage
of the resulting dust cloud to quickly dart off the side of the path and
dive behind a particularly large boulder that he just hoped wouldnt
come to life and try to play soccer with him.

Instead, much to his disgust, was Yuffie, though for once in her life she
wasnt talking. Her eyes were firmly closed, and though her lips moved,
no sound came out. In her hands, beginning to flicker with an inner green
light, was a small materia orb.

Back on the path, visibility became an option again, though there was very
little for the two rock monsters to see. One of them now had an arm that
was two feet less, and the dry remainder of the limb lay useless and limp
on the path. Where the other Turks had gotten to Reno had no idea, but he
was glad that they too had managed to disappear, at least for the time being.
He allowed himself a few short breaths as he observed the creatures slowly
look around, realizing that they apparently did see from something, as they
were turning to get better views.

A sudden shadow fell over him, and he rolled over in shock, expecting to
see a Size 32 rock sneaker ready to grind him into jelly. Instead, something
huge and black whipped past his head and continued going, only to be joined
by a half dozen others. Several loud crashes came from the path, and turning
around to catch the remainder of the action hed just missed, Reno was
rather surprised to see the Rock monsters on their backs, covered in what
appeared to be several tons of rubble. Realizing what had happened, he shot
Yuffie a dark look through his sunglasses.

Comet materia? he asked in disbelief. On big things made
out of rock?

Yuffie shrugged at him. It worked, didnt it?

Reno sighed and walked tentatively out from his hiding place, beaten to the
punch by Tseng and Elena, who were already approaching the limp bodies of
the monsters. Rude was quick to follow, and last of all Yuffie, and the five
gathered around the fallen beasts. Reno, as usual, made the first
observation.

What the fuck?

Tseng raises a skeptical eyebrow at him, but Elena didnt manage to
restrain all of her laugh and barked the second half of it out. All right,
thought Reno, maybe there is an upside to the loss of the whole helpless
rookie persona. No one seemed equipped to answer Renos question, which
is actually why he had asked it, and why he was both surprised and annoyed
when Yuffie opened her mouth.

Guardians. She said simply.

Tseng turned his attention on her now. Excuse me? he asked, sounding
very annoyed that she possessed a vital piece of information that he did
not.

Of the sacred land, she elaborated, as if it should be
obvious.

Leveling her with his gaze, Tseng was looking just as disbelieving as before.
Do you know that, or are you just guessing? he asked
firmly.

Theres never been a Mako Reactor on this continent, Yuffie
responded sharply, with equal firmness. What else could make something
like that, if not the Planet itself?

...now you sound like Aeris... Reno muttered, but was promptly
ignored.

Well they didnt do a very good job, did they? Tseng asked,
and prodded the leg of one with his toe. Almost instantly, the leg jerked,
the whole group of five began to back up hastily as the two of the monsters
began to stir, shaking off the gravel and larger chunks of rock off their
immense bodies. Yuffie, for her part, looked completely taken
aback.

What do we do?? she asked, sounding panicked.

Rude provided one of his ever succinct answers. Run. he said
simply. The other way.