Wednesday, October 20, 2010

(from MZone wire reports) Ann Arbor, MI -- Simmering tensions between Michigan fans supporting Rich Rodriguez and those opposing the beleaguered head coach erupted in hostilities yesterday marking what many consider the start of a civil war amongst the Wolverine faithful.

The initial battle broke out on the main Michigan message boards at Scout.com and Rivals.com in the wake of Michigan's 38-28 loss to Iowa on Saturday. Following the defeat, those against Rodriguez began comparing the 2010 campaign to the clusterfuck that was the 2008 2009 season while those urging patience claimed the talent in Michigan's secondary was only slightly better than the back-ups on the JV squad at Ann Arbor Pioneer.

"Rich Rodriguez is the worst coach to ever have coached any sport in the history of sports, including the ancient Greek Olympics. And he probably kills puppies, too," said Rivals poster "9-4AndAVictoryOverFlorida-InANewYearsBowl-DoesntSeemSoFuckingBadNow_DoesIt851" as he fired a cannon shot at the pro-Rich front lines.

Gen. Brian Cook surveys the battlefield

But that volley was met by a quick counter-attack from ImNamingMyTwinDaughtersRich-And-Rodriguez7856, "Rich Rodriguez is a God, only in human form. On a football field. Wearing a headset. And not only will he win us 9 National Titles in a row, he'll also cure cancer during the off-season if people would just have a little patience."

A second front in the expanding conflict opened up in the Maize and Blue blogosphere when the website Genuinely Sarcastic was so disgusted with Michigan's performance last weekend that they refused to put up a new post following the Iowa game. Instead, the bloggers simply left up their MSU game diatribe, "Disillusionment," which slammed Rodriguez and the direction of the football program under him. Brian Cook, Supreme Commander of the pro-Rich Rod forces at MGoBlog, ordered the anti-Rich Rod rant removed. When Genuinely Sarcastic refused, Cook and his army of some 75,000 plus daily readers encircled the curiously-named site and threatened to cut off their Internet traffic by removing them from his links section.

Faced with a cyber Siege of Stalingrad that would leave its traffic flow on par with this Florida Gator site, Genuinely Sarcastic was able to dispatch a cavalry rider to the MZone in a desperate plea for help. Military experts theorize that the MZone was picked because it's founder, the strikingly handsome and noted lothario, Colonel Fielding Yost, is said to sympathize with the "What the &^%$! is Rich Rod doing to our &^%$! football program?!" faction of Michigan fans.

However, having only recently returned to the blogosphere after being AWOL for 2+ years, Colonel Yost and his meager readership were no match for the Mighty MGoBlog, and calls for reinforcements from the Wolverine Liberation Army went unanswered.

Unrelated, cool-looking battlefield map for no reason

Rumors that In Rod We Trust launched unprovoked attacks against MVictors and Maize N Brew at the urging of Private Rick Leach because the two sites wouldn't change their names to WeTrustWorshipAndLoveRodEvenMore.com and .org, respectively, were unconfirmed at press time.

With the Maize and Blue Nation about to be torn apart right where the maize meets the blue, Michigan AD Dave Brandon called for calm and asked EDSBS founder Orson Swindle to help broker a peace accord, even offering to throw in free pizza. But Swindle was on his way to the LSU/Auburn game and refused to get in the middle of the conflict.

"This is for U-M fans to figure out by themselves," said Swindle. "On their campus, on their message boards and on one of the 698 Michigan-centric college football blogs out there."

THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS STORY. PLEASE CHECK BACK FOR FURTHER UPDATES AND PHOTOS AS THEY BECOME AVAILABLE.

19 comments:

Dear General Yost,I regret to inform you that Whetstonebuck was gravely wounded in the RichRod Civil War and we appreciate his sacrifice for our Glorious Cause. Though Whet was not vouchsafed a hero’s death upon the field of glory, he was none the less a hero, dying of pneumonia, following an attack of the measles. I am respectfully yours, Captain Phil.

However, I did almost die from laughter. Fortunately, I have insurance which prompted the EMTs to take me to the Emergency Room. After x-rays, CAT scan, and MRI (oh my!) the doctor removed my funny bone.

The surgery was successful due to the fact that when I awoke, I began to weep uncontrollably for you all. The surgeon said it was a permanent condition and to "just get used to it."

wow. this is spectacular. i haven't seen this many historical references dropped into a comedy bit since Dennis Miller left MNF.

simply awesome.

may i suggest you launch a campaign by which the pro R2 crowd wears maize, and the fire R2 crowd wears blue? that way M fans can congregate w/ others of their own ilk and we can have spontaneous riots, sorta like rival English soccer fans?

look on the bright side? there are some fan bases that are even more demanding than we are. we could have a coach that has been in place for a decade, won a MNC, 6 or 7 conference titles, had a Heisman trophy winner, and still have fans calling for his head because he's 6-1?

Meanwhile, the almost completely unrelated to football blog michiganexposures has been asked it's stance as the latest post there was some tower in Michigan. People wondered if this was a sign that God was throwing in on the whole contraversy. When asked, the founder of the blog said, "It says nothing...I like the tower...that's all".

I hate the "what have you done for me lately" mentality. I wish more pro teams would be like Tennessee and Pittsburgh where they aren't firing coaches ever other season. I mean yes Tennessee has had its ebbs and flows and I'm sure that the fans have called for Fisher's head at times but the owners kept him and I think they are pretty good this year. The Steelers had Cowher forever and they were finally rewarded with a Super Bowl. If the "what have you done for me lately" mentality were true, the Lions should be Super Bowl champions as they have gone through 5 coaches and are working number 6 in the past 12 years (or so). I don't think that bodes well for stability in the players because it means that they are having to adjust constantly to new coaches, new schemes, etc.

I'm in the "not Fire Rich Rod" camp mainly because I think things are starting to come to fruition. If they fire him after this season, a new coach is going to come in and screw that all up. Heck, I'm even willing to give Gerg a chance for the same reasons stated above. He is only 2 years into this thing and given his resume, I don't think he is a stupid coach. But sadly, I think if there is another meltdown, I think there will be demands for accountibility and someone will be let go.

Maybe each team could get its own network? Dual broadcasts with announcers each calling the same game from their own skewed perspective:

"That was a great 5 yard run on 1st down! That kinda play calling shows what kinda coaching Coach Rod brings to our program!"

While on the other network: "what a horrible call! We only got 5 yards against a formation that we shudda got at least 25, if not a TD! This lack of imagination in play calling is why we need change here in A2"

Early in the spring, I went out to Antietam and Gettysburg. Gettysburg has the coolness factor (all the awe inspiring monuments), Antietam had something else. I guess they've taken great pains to keep the battlefield in the same condition as it was during the Civil War so it felt like I was actually there. And of course, where I go my camera goes.

See analysis of the entire public record in NCAA/UM Violations case at Brewonsouthu.wordpress.com. Our prediction: NCAA sanctions will be much stronger than the ones self-imposed by UM, and Rich Rod is gone by Jan.1.

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