Thursday, April 16, 2009

Looking Forward to the 2009 Season

Welcome back, all. It's been awhile since our last post, and a lot has happened since then—most recently the news of John Madden retiring, along with the sudden and meteoric fall of Frank Caliendo's career. With the draft a week away, Chris and I will go through the newly released Dallas Cowboys week by week schedule and make ridiculously early game predictions.

Week 1, Sept. 13: Cowboys @ Buccaneers

Alex: This will be an interesting opening game, to say the least. If the Cowboys lose here, the media attack begins IMMEDIATELY, and doesn't let up. Wade Phillips will be on the chopping block, Romo will continue to be questioned, Jessica's head will be called for, and Bobby will be wondering where he fits in to all of this. To make things more difficult, the Bucs have a new head coach, an uncertain situation at starting quarterback, and a brand new dangerous TE in Kellen Winslow II, or as most people would call him, "Junior." All that said, however, I think the Cowboys not only win, but absolutely spank the Bucs in a new season without their fiery head coach in Jon Gruden and fiery quarterback in Jeff Garcia.

Cowboys' record thus far: Head: 1-0, Heart: 1-0.

Chris: The Cowboys begin the season at noon, on the road, in Tampa. If this game were any later in the season, I would write this off as an easy loss—lack of interest, not a prime-time game, etc. However, since the Cowboys ended the 2008 season in terrible fashion, I expect the team to show up to play hard in the season opener. Plus, it's too early for them to take it easy.

Cowboys' record thus far: Head: 1-0, Heart: 1-0

Week 2, Sept. 20: Cowboys vs. Giants

Alex: Opening of the new stadium this week, and we're bringing in the Giants. This rivalry is quickly becoming one of the biggest in the NFL, and if the Cowboys lose this game, the media will be breathing down their necks like a pimply-faced creep sitting behind you on the bus when you're wearing that cute top that's maybe just a little too low-cut. If the Cowboys had lost the previous week, expect Wade to be fired/demoted by week 4. However, with the Giants missing 2 KEY parts of their offense last year in Plaxico Burress and Derrick Ward, a 1,000 yard rusher who went to the Bucs that everyone seems to forget about, I think the Cowboys offense will be too strong for the Giants to match, assuming Roy Williams is as-advertised.

Cowboys' record: Head: 2-0, Heart: 2-0

Chris: Finally! Prime-time! Lights! TV! Jerryworld! This has all the makings of a Cowboys-choke—but again, it's not December, so you can disregard it. I expect the Giants to make things scary and keep it close, but somehow the Cowboys pull out a close one. Bobby celebrates by throwing a sick rager @ UT-Arlington. Also invited: Flower Mound Marcus kids, since their football jerseys are Ohio State copies. Not invited: UT-Dallas.

Cowboys' record: Head 2-0, Heart 2-0

Week 3, Sept. 28: Cowboys vs. Panthers

Alex: Jake Delhomme is trash, and we lead the all-time regular season series 7-1. Win.

Cowboys' record: Head: 3-0, Heart: 3-0

Chris: 7-1? Wow. I'd trade all of those regular season wins for that playoff loss to 2nd year Carolina on the way to Super Bowl XXXI. Anyway, unless the Cowboys have learned how to stop the run, I smell a Monday Night Loss. Something tells me they'll fix the problem. Well, my heart tells me they'll fix the problem. My head tells me they'll forget.

Cowboys' record: Head: 2-1, Heart: 3-0

Week 4, Oct. 4: Cowboys @ Broncos

Alex: One of the more intriguing match-ups this week, with Kyle Orton the new heir apparent in Denver, and a totally revamped offense and defense, it will be interesting to see what Cowboys team shows up. To this point in the season, the Cowboys are 3-0, and should continue that run against a team that is still trying to find its identity under an immature head coach and what can only be described as a Swiss cheese defense. Interesting side-note: With Mike Shanahan gone, do the Broncos have an unnamed 1,000 yard rusher this season?

Cowboys' record: Head: 4-0, Heart: 4-0

Chris: Win. Last year pre-Draft, teams playing the Falcons were excited. Of course, they improved greatly with the addition Matt Ryan. I'll treat the Broncos the same way; pre-Draft, WIN. Post-Draft? Maybe they added a great rookie?...Win. Too early in the season.