‘The Bachelorette’ 2017 Week 5 Recap: How Did It Go Down?

Tonight was a new episode of “The Bachelorette” with Rachel Lindsay. This is going on for TWO nights? REALLY? I guess I need to get more wine, chocolate, and snacks.

These dudes all look like the new Ken dolls that were just released.

REALLY? I am so done, and I have only been watching this for five minutes. Everyone is in the middle and pissed off any getting drunk…and WAIT, this is not even the rose ceremony? This is just the group date? Oy vey….

Bryan gets the group date rose.

Jack Stone gets the one on one which consists of a carriage ride and according to Rachel, a perfect match on paper. However, once they go dancing, she realizes something is missing. Even when they kiss, she pretends everything is okay, but it is obvious she isn’t into him. She friend zones him and sends him home.

These guys are still fighting and tattling to the other guys about each other? I tuned out because I don’t care. If I wanted to see fighting, I’d be watching WWE RAW now.

Rose ceremony:

Eric (No clue)

Peter (Cutie who randomly shows up on dates occasionally)

Adam (WHO?)

Will (Again, WHO?)

Matt (Penguin dude)

Alex (Dude who gave someone’s grandma a lap dance)

Josiah (other lawyer)

Anthony (Who are these dudes just showing up for rose ceremonies? Do they go up to Chris and say ‘yo, put me in the rose ceremony?’)

Kenny (Lee’s enemy)

Lee (Kenny’s enemy)

Jonathan the tickle monster and Iggy are sent home.

Now we are in Norway. Bryan gets a one on one date, and they go rappelling. They make out, enjoy each other’s company, and she is smitten. They have dinner, a deep conversation and he gets a rose.

The group date is everyone not named Kenny or Lee, which means they have the 2-on-1.

The group date is some sort of ball game, and I don’t really care because it looks boring AF.

The guys all mingle with Rachel, and it is pretty much talk, kiss, lather, rinse, repeat. Although, that hot tub kiss was pretty hot—are we sure that isn’t the fantasy suite date?

Will gets the rose, and I still don’t know who this dude is!

The two on one date is tense before they even leave. Rachel talks to both guys, and this is ridiculous. It is just a he said/he said, and if I were her, I’d dump them both.