A stockbroker was filling out a job application when he came to the question: "Have you ever
been arrested?" He answered no to the question. The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding
question with a yes, was "why?" Nevertheless, the stockbroker answered it "Never got caught."

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial
genius.Bear Market - A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and
the husband gets none.

Some years ago, Calcutta stockbrokers were riding high on the Indian tea boom. A stockbroker
told of a client who telephoned at the busiest time of the day. 'Can't speak to you for long said the broker,
'we're in turmoil.' Buy me a thousand said the client eagerly.

Wallstreet Market Commentary ...Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper
was stationary.Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered
into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while
escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.Light switches were off.Mining
equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged.Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.The market for
raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled.Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday.Balloon prices
were inflated.And Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the
market...Send us your Comments