From an insurance standpoint, he’s probably the last Chelsea player we’d trust behind the wheel of a buggy while zipping merrily around and among their expensively-assembled squad at Cobham, but the Brazilian jester somehow got his hands on one yesterday.

He even offered Yossi and Fernando a ride out to the pitch, though the nervous smiles on both their faces suggested the pair instantly regretted accepting a lift from a known loon…

Zoom, zoom, ZOOOOM!

We were fully expecting that clip to end like the final bulldozer scene from Vanishing Point.