Tag: erections

At this point in time, everyone has heard of the medications to help men suffering from ED (erectile dysfunction). The two most popular being Viagra and Cialis, although there are quite a few others out there. We have all seen the ads on tv. There is the one with the couple in separate bathtubs (what is that about?) and the other with a sexy woman with her come hither look to tout the drugs.

These drugs for erectile dysfunction have been on the market for many years now and it is probably safe to assume that the majority of men in the lifestyle (and perhaps out) have tried it at least one time. It is probably also safe to assume that many men in the lifestyle have come to rely on these drugs when attending swing parties or lifestyle events. If you were to question the men about using these medications, they would tell you that they have no difficulty getting an erection, they just want to be sure there won’t be any problems.

It is really no secret that this is a huge issue for any man and for that, ladies, we must try to show compassion. Let’s face it, we do not have the same pressures that men face when it comes to sex. If we are not feeling it, we can still have sex. Of course, we can also fake it; both our desire and our orgasms, but when men have sex, they have to show up completely, every single time.

That can’t be easy. Men also have reasons that they might not be in the mood, but once they commit to heading into the back room of a swing club or upstairs to a bedroom at a private party they better figure out how to achieve lift off!

You can hardly blame them for their desire to use ED medications. Although they still have to become sexually aroused for the drug to work, it is much easier and the drug will take it from there. That takes a lot of pressure off and men say they can enjoy the atmosphere more without the worry. The nice part of these drugs is they work when you are ready for them and they still allow men to achieve orgasm. Women can not really be sure if a man has taken it or not.

So what about this injectable drug? What’s this about? Men will actually stick a needle into their penis to get an erection? Apparently some will.

This drug is called Caverject Impulse (which to me sounds like cadaver and dead bodies are hard…). It is a serum which is injected directly into the penis. It works by relaxing certain muscles in the penis and widening blood vessels, which increases blood flow to the penis and helps to cause an erection. When used as directed by a physician, the erection should last about 30 minutes.

Hmm. Seems that the men who are using it recreationally are using more than the recommended dose as their erections can last for 2-3 hours.

It is easy to spot men who are using injections. The next time you visit the back room of a swing club notice the men who arrive in the back room with a raging hard on. Usually they will be fondling themselves as this is necessary to get the drug working. These are the men who are having lengthy conversations with people while their dicks are fully erect. They walk to the bar for a drink and when they return, they are still erect! It is pretty comical to watch, especially because they think nobody knows.

Here’s the interesting part. Having researched this topic quite a bit, it seems women do not like this drug quite as much as men think they do. Women prefer a natural hard on which is caused by her partner’s attraction to her and her touch. She does not really have the desire to have sex for 2 or more hours, especially when she discovers you will not climax. When you read what women have written on this subject it is hilarious. Some talk about how after 30 minutes their minds wander to other things such as their grocery list, an upcoming doctor’s appointment, open school night, etc. Others say that when they know their partner is planning to inject himself, she works doubly hard to make sure they find another couple to play with so it can be the other woman’s problem.

Perhaps men should consider how they would feel if the woman they were playing with did not climax. Most men seem to get pleasure out of bringing their female partner to orgasm. They think they would enjoy it if a woman was never ready to call it quits; that she would want to play for hours. Are you sure? I’m not sure how many men are up to that task…

These medications were not designed for recreational use. There are long term side effects from the injections that men would probably rather not know about. As for drugs like Cialis and Viagra, these seem more acceptable to women as they allow men to function more normally. They can be taken as little as 30-60 minutes before sex so for most men this is a good option. Again, some men become psychologically dependent on these drugs to perform in swinger environments so if you can avoid getting started with them, it’s probably better.

The truth is, women know that men can have issues with performance and we know this is normal. For men who are new to the lifestyle, having to perform while others are watching can be extremely intimidating. It is not always easy for women to stay focused either, it’s just not as apparent. Perhaps if men could approach this moment differently they would have less problems. Instead of rushing into the back room and trying to get started immediately, men might benefit from relaxing and trying to focus on the woman they are with. Block out the rest and concentrate on being with this one person. And quite honestly, if it doesn’t happen it is ok too. You can still enjoy each other and wait for next time…

I imagine when men see this title they immediately click on it to see if I think they measure up. It seems men are always wondering if they are big enough, and for those who think they are big enough, they wonder if they are the best because of this. The funny thing is, if you ask almost any woman, she will tell you that although size matters to a degree, it really is what you do with it that matters most.

This is not a topic that required much investigating. If you listen carefully, you will hear women discussing this frequently in the lifestyle. Although there are some women who will say that they want the biggest one they can find, they seem to be a very small minority. More often women say, “Too big is too big.” Let’s face it, there is only so much room in there and when a man is too big, how does that work? I have read articles that say you can judge who is a good fit for you if you compare hands. Women with longer fingers tend to have more length inside whereas women with very short fingers do not. That being said, if you have longer fingers you should be looking for a man who is larger and vice versa.

A good example of a man’s size not making him good in bed is evident in porn. Almost every porn flick I have ever seen is about the same. The man has an enormous penis, the woman gives him a blow job and he climbs on top or takes her from behind. Ok ladies, is this your fantasy guy? Sure he has a big dick but so what? It is very rare for the guy to take care of the woman in porn. She better hope she’s wet because clearly that was not his priority. Now I personally do like a guy who’s well endowed but if I was not ready for him it would not be fun. That is the whole point of what makes a man measure up. When women say it is not the size but what he does with it, this is part of that equation.

Sexy man in his underwear with Parnters ID necklace

Bigger is only better if you are ready for it and you are able to accommodate it. A few weeks ago we were playing in the back room of a swing club and a couple came over to the spot next to us. She was on her back and he took his towel off (already in an erection, I’m guessing he had an injection). He climbs on top of her and she pushed him back and asked him, “Where ya goin’ with that?” I couldn’t help but laugh because he looked confused. She informed him that it was going to take more than that to get her ready.

There are men who are not so lucky and are abnormally small. You would think they would not have much success in the lifestyle but I have discovered that this is not true. They seem to make up for their short coming by paying extreme attention to their woman’s needs. This is very appealing to many women. By the time they are ready for intercourse, the woman they are playing with are usually very turned on and seem not to notice the size; they just want sex!

Something I have always wondered about is when a man is so large, it must be hard for him to enjoy blow jobs. Women can only take so much in their mouths. The smaller sized man has the advantage of the woman being able to deep throat him with no problem at all. I do enjoy the challenge with the large guys but worry that they are not as fulfilled if I am unable to get to the base.

My true heros in the lifestyle are the women who seek out the most well endowed men for double penetration. It would seem to me that this is where they might favor the smaller dicks! Big guy up front, little guy in the back. No? Apparently not.

Whatever the case, size is relative. Everyone likes something different and every man should feel confident with what they have. You can be sure you measure up if you take the time to take care of your woman. It works both ways; how would you feel if your woman did not take care of you? You want the experience to be erotic and hot but it takes two to get there!