Should I be cautious about people who do not use proper grammar and spelling in online dating websites?

I don't know if it's just me or if this is just the norm of texting nowadays, but I can never seem to receive messages that are written with proper grammar and spelling by users, in online dating websites. Yet, these are people who claim to be professional, college-educated people such as cops, teachers, even graduate students. I'm a college student myself and I know that none of these people would have ever been able to graduate if they wrote like that in their assignments or e-mails to their professors. Should I take this as a red flag and assume that these are just fake people? Thanks.

Most Helpful Guy

no wats rong with dat? Lol, I wouldn't necessarily think that they were lying if they had poor grammar/spelling, but it's definitely a major turn off. It was acceptable back when phones weren't easy for texting but now it's easy so there's not really any excuse. It really depends on the person too, it's usually easier to gauge their intelligence just by talking to someone, some people.. myself included deliberately don't use proper grammar or spelling when messaging.. Don't ask me why.

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Asker

I get that, but these are people who claim to be cops, teachers, etc... and can't even tell the difference between you're/your or there/they're/and their. smh.

True, it depends what you're on. I mean some of these things could be scams coming from backward countries where they pretend to be someone in hopes you'll send them money. You're right in that regard. Best to ignore anyone who is illiterate!

Most Helpful Girl

I understand your issue. The way I look at it, communicating on these websites is similar to applying for a job. The person messaging is interested in knowing more about you and basically selling an idea that he's worth meeting. So when it comes to grammar and spelling, I'm okay with a few typos here and there but when I read something that sounds like it came right off of an old flip phone, it's a touch off putting. It makes me wonder am I really talking to a 30 year old or a 13 year old? I don't expect perfection, but at least have the decency to write like an adult.

For your situation, I can't really tell you because I'm obviously not reading the messages. For me, I'd see it as a yellow flag. But I've communicated with men who own bachelor's degrees that didn't use proper grammar and punctuation in their emails but they turned out to be perfectly normal in person. And I've met with guys that sounded normal in their emails but were scary in person. It's a toss up really. Just note it and proceed with caution.

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Yeah, it's not really the punctuation. It's the incorrect usage of words like your/you're, instead of saying "hun", they say "hon", instead of saying "how have you been?", they'll say "how u been?" It makes me wonder whether this person is just uneducated or just too lazy to write like an adult. Especially, if you're trying to make a good impression on somebody, you know? It's a real turn off and I can't seem to find any articulate guys worth meeting -__-

What Girls Said 6

You sound like someone who would make fun of people who have a learning disorder. Which is why they have issues using your/you're and there/their/they're. I bet you just think people like that are extremely stupid compared to you. If that's the case, you're a horrible person.

I think you just misinterpreted the entire question. This question wasn't a rant about how bad people who lack English writing proficiency are. The purpose of this question is to explore the legitimacy of people who make poor grammar mistakes and claim to be college-educated, in online dating websites. I never insulted anyone nor made fun of anyone who has issues with grammar and spelling, or like you said, a learning disorder. I never said that I was better than they are either. Since I am an academically-inclined, career-oriented, individual, I can measure what type of reading level/writing skills an individual should have based on his/her profession. The fact that some of the users' writing skills don't correlate with the professions they claim to have, makes me wonder about their truthfulness in their profiles. I still can't understand why this question upsets you.

For me this is a sensitive topic since I have a learning disorder. So it's taken me up to now just to know how to use your/you're correctly but I still struggle with to/too, there/their/they're, etc. My spelling can be so bad that auto correct can't tell what word I'm trying to write. So from my perspective even if people have careers in teaching (if it's anything but literature) and some other professions. They could have a learning disorder and struggle with those but still can do what they need to do. If any of them are sensitive about it then they will be beating themselves up over once someone explains it to them.

Along with seeing other people saying they wouldn't trust someone like that and think their stupid. Makes me feel bad since it's what I struggle with and worry that everyone will just think I'm stupid because of that.

Notice that I emphasized the fact that the majority of users have the same exact writing style. I HIGHLY doubt that every user claiming to be a teacher,Coach, or med student, is making these mistakes due to learning disabilities. It just happens too frequently.

True, the likelihood of that is low. For me if it's just things like too/to, there/their/they're, your/you're, I screw up on them often due to being confused. Though I've gotten better with you're/your but the rest I still mix up at lot. :'(