Pinterest Nightmare #309: Feast Your Eyes On Eye Jewelry

Lucy, who is a devotee of the show What Not to Wear, has encouraged me to incorporate “pops of color” into my daily look. (I didn’t even know I *had* a daily look. Cool.) She informed me that using accessories would be the easiest and quickest way to freshen up my wardrobe. Her verdict–get a statement necklace, a bright purse, and a cute pair of flats and BAM! I’d be on my way.

What kind of person is going to pass up fashion advice from a savvy ten year old, especially one who has memorized the sage words of Stacey and Clinton after studying hundreds of episodes in their back catalog?

Obviously, I turned to Pinterest to peruse the current trends. (and to find out what in the world a “statement necklace” actually was)

When I searched for jewelry, I got a real…ahem…eye full.

Pinterest Nightmare #309a: Contact Lens Eye Jewelry

as pinned from trendhunter.com

Yes, it took me a minute to orient myself, too. On the right you are seeing a contact lens to which crystals have been affixed via a thin fishing line. That model isn’t crying! She’s just sporting Contact Lens Jewelry!

Want to up the bling factor of your face? Just pop those babies in, blink a few times, make sure the filament isn’t obstructing a meibomian gland, and TA-DA! You have a real sparkle in your eye (or at least directly under it).

There are a wide variety of colors and styles available so you can pick jewels to hang from your cornea to mach your every mood. Or, if you are a more conservative type, you can opt for a traditional clear crystal that goes with everything. Let your eye style be your guide!

Some overly dramatic ophthalmologists caution that the thread dangling over your eye lid could cause a sty or bleeding. Sheesh. I bet they will tell me next that I shouldn’t share mascara with a friend or use saliva on my contacts if I run out of saline solution. Doctors are such nervous nellies.

Is Contact Lens Jewelry too temporary for you? Do your eyes crave a more permanently bedazzled look? NO PROBLEM!! Pinterest has a veritable cornea-copia of eye jewelry options.

Pinterest Nightmare #309b: Conjunctival Implant Eye Jewelry

as pinned from simpletoremember.com

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder with this one. I do mean that literally because that silver heart is actually embedded in that lady’s eye ball.

Now, before you start Googling to set up an appointment at LensCrafters to have this done, let me break some bad news. This procedure is currently only available in one eye clinic and it’s located in the Netherlands. (Yes that is the same Netherlands where you can legally purchase hash out of vending machines. Coincidence?). There is also a long waiting list, so you’ll want to call before you book your flight.

The doctor who developed this procedure reports, “there don’t seem to be many long term side-effects so far. Nobody has lost their sight.” It doesn’t get more reassuring than that!

It’s surprising that there aren’t more Pinterest Nightmares coming out of the Netherlands when you think about it. If the implant is a no-go, you can always just get the contact lens jewelry, Allie. Plus, less traveling. There really is an Eye Jewelry option perfect for everyone! 😀

Is it just me or does that pic of the implant-bedazzled eye make you throw up a little? Seriously, gagging. Ugh. I like to think of my body as a temple. Albeit a crumbling in spots temple that I pump full of caffeine & ice cream, but a temple nonetheless. So, there is no way I’m letting some hashed-up doc stick anything on my eye. Still gagging!

As a once contact lenses wearer (I had Lasik surgery to correct my vision years back), I will admit this just looked painful and thought that jewelry would just irritate the hell out of ones eyes. My contact lenses were indeed irritating enough, so I think I would totally have to pass on this as much as I love my bling. I would just have to say no to Pinterest on this one for sure!

I am calling to make my appointment right away! How could you not want bedazzled eyes? And the doctors reassurance just helps solidif-eye the deal!! But I do think I would prefer a star instead of a heart – after all I am a rock star at heart!!

OMG, this is SO disturbing… my contacts are now itching & fuzzy & the Hubs had the Lasik years ago, I think it’s official, I’m whining until I get it now… This hurts my eyeballs thinking about… Woohoo… kudos again ladies.

Bwahahahaha. My husband was the same way. He is very eye sensitive and just looking at this gave him the sweats.He’d run out of the room screaming if I got those contacts. If there is a better reason for getting these, I don’t know what it is.

NO!!! I didn’t see that one!! It’s like those old Law and Orders where their stories would be RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES!

They went too far into fantasy land making their implant a camera, though. Who’d go through all of that for just a camera? Now a decorative little heart or a half moon…yeah, I’d have bought that scenario. 😀

Seriously people have waaaay too much time on their hands if they going out of their way to be dazzle their eyes. I HAVE to wear tri focals and the thought of people possibly damaging their eyes for fashion is F*%ked up.

Oh my!!!!… oh. my!… ohmygod!… seriously?!?!?! Who comes up with this stuff. I mean, I’ve heard of eye tattoos (which would be a decent addition to this list) but contacts with dangly things and metal implants in your eyes!?!? … I don’t know what else to say. I am completely disgusted by this!!!

Holy cow! I have never even worn contact lenses so I know I would be out on that little fashion trend…and I am going to go ahead and opt out of hyping up on vending machine weed before I get a permanent jewel placed in my eyeball. But that would probably help the nerves…but NO.

Ok. Stop. Really? As a person who wears glasses all the time because I just can’t get comfortable with contacts. . .the idea of something IN my eye. . .this is just BEYOND being ridiculous! And it seems very dangerous like it could totally damage your eye. Sorry but that “crystal” coming out of the eye looks like something OOZING. . .EW, EW, EW! I think people are just coming up with all kinds of crazy ideas trying to be “original” and make money. I don’t fault them. . .it’s the people who would buy this that are lunatics! Y’all always find the best of the worst! LOL!

Ooooh, you are so right, Tracie!! I bet if you get green stones it would look like you had an infection brewing. (but really, I’m sure you’d have a real infection to battle before you knew it if you wore them, so maybe that’s overkill)

I am currently in the throes of pink eye and all I can think is “i’d have to rebuild my eye jewelry around 10x per year, what with the pink crud my kiddo’s give me.”
That is just wrong, but I guess if people vagazzle they will put jewelry on anything…

“A veritable cornea-copia of eye jewelry options” Hahahaha! Thanks for making me laugh to take my mind off of how horrifying these products are. My eyes are watering just thinking of someone imbedding a decal on them. EEEWWW!

Good find, Lisa! I don’t think you need to have one with crystal tears, pretty sure you would be actually crying if you wore the contact. The implant is out of a Stephen King novel, don’t let your kids see that, please.

Yah, no thanks. I have visions of the cat seeing something dangling from my eye that resembles string and going nuts and then I would loose my eye sight. And the implant? That a bit too permanent…not to mention just a wee bit dangerous. I mean, I won’t even consider laser eye surgery, what makes them think I’d consider an implant in my eye? But maybe I’m just too cautious. Maybe one day I’ll be hip enough to throw caution to the wind and try some of the latest and greatest innovations in eye accessories, but until then I’m ok with being a Plain Jane. 🙂

We were just in Gatlinburg (passing through) and they had a shop that advertised colored contacts. For people who don’t wear contacts. I guess so you can change the color of your eye. But it was on the street with pretzels, tshirts and shot glasses. I just couldn’t figure out their marketing – who and why. Maybe I should’ve looked closer to see if there was fishing line attached…

Bwahahahahaha. Having actually vacationed in Gatlinburg (and Pigeon Forge) I can tell you that I am certain contact lens jewelry has found their target demographic right there. If those contacts didn’t also have jewels attached, it’s a crying shame.

Don’t even get me started on this… where I teach, eye bling is popular among some of the neighborhood parents. I’ll be in a conference, trying to be professional and I’ll be looking at a mom with sparkly fake eyelashes and eye bling and it’s hard not to gape! I want to ask, “Your kid gets free lunch, which means you can’t put food on the table at home, so when you are at the store, what makes you pick the eye bling over the apples?”

Ick. I really wasn’t sure what I was looking at, at first…then my eyes started to hurt at the idea of it…and I don’t even wear contacts! I hope this doesn’t catch on in the high schools or we’ll be going back to glasses! 😉

Brings tears to my eyes just observing these beauts. How delightful to try to sleep with them embedded. I didn’t see a mention as to how long the docs had been doing the embedding procedure. So lovely to consider perhaps only a few weeks or so. Ah well they’ve not had any problems yet so it must be nothing to worry about …

There are some things that I’d be okay with going my entire life not seeing in person. I hope this is one of them. Or, if I find myself in the Netherlands one day, I hope that I’ll remember to visit the vending machines before checking out the trendy spots.
EW. And OW. And wow.

I cannot stand to have a loose eyelash in my eye or even feeling like I do! I could never have an ornament hanging out of it or attached to it. EWWWW! Go for the statement necklace. Entertaining post as always, ladies.

LOL, cornea-copia. That and the “sparkle in your eye (or at least directly under it) made me laugh out loud.” How do people think of these things? Considering the various meanings for a teardrop tattoo what could teardrop/chandelier eye jewelry mean? Is it for the prison inmate who’s hard to shop for?

I don’t have contact lenses! Crap. I do have distance driving glasses, though. Do you think I can cheat and just put red heart stickers on the sides of my glasses frames? I mean..it might impair my peripheral vision, but isn’t that kinda the point? In the name..of beauty.

Pssh. Yeah right. I can’t stand to have my contacts in right now, why in the world would I want one more thing bothering my eyes? And you know what a conjunctival implant will give you? Conjunctivitis! *shudder* I have the dying urge to rub my eyes right now!

That one with the dangling jewels… How? How does it stay in. And when you blink, your eyelid would snag on the string every time. And aren’t contacts disposable? I guess you’d save your jewel contacts for the most special occasions.

I think the filament does rub against your lash line every time you blink. You only blink about 20 times a minute, though! I think you’re right– it would be wise to save your jeweled contacts for special occasions. You don’t want to go to the grocery in full glamour mode.

Bwahahahahaha. I think if a jewelry designer is not on board, something has gone very, very wrong. Is it their jewel selection that turns you off or do you think they need to consider more colorful filaments to attach them? 😀

Seriously? Those photos are downright nightmare inducers. Thank goodness #sitssharefest is early in the day!

And I love what not to wear. I think the final episode was last night and I MISSED IT!! I always dreamed I would be on the show. I kept asking my kids to nominate me. I would act totally surprised about it, really!!

Usually your choices are just disturbing; this one (or two) seems dangerous. Seriously? Am I the only one who thinks you just don’t mess around with your eyes? I get that I’m in my forties and don’t really care about fashion, so I don’t get most things people do to their bodies or with their money just for beauty’s sake. But would people really give up their vision to look good? This one just scares me. Because enough people think it’s a good idea to make it and market it. And people are buying it. What is our world coming to? (See, that last sentence is proof of how ancient I am.)

I can not believe you posted those pics! I have eye issues and I’d have to have some sort of major eye disease in advanced form before I’d even consider putting drops in them. And I’d have to be put fully under to do that. I hope they keep this in the Netherlands!

My husband is like you, Carli. It takes three assistants to put drops in his eyes when he sees the doctor. I practically had him crying as he read this post. You should have seen him when I practiced the eye exam on him when I was in medical school. 😀

I can’t get contacts in my eyes at all. Let alone doing the eye surgery for the heart in my eye. I think that both of these are pretty darn cool though. Of course, I think tattoos are awesome too as long as they are on someone other than me. (I’m too chicken to get one on me.)
You find some of the oddest things on Pinterest.

I’m too chicken, too, Crystal.
We’re lucky that Pinterest is bizarre. We’d hate to have to write a Pinterest nightmare about a chicken recipe where the strangest thing was that we used onion powder instead of onion salt.