9 Things To Remember When You Keep Going Back To A Toxic Ex

Sometimes in life, you fall for a toxic guy who’s super hard to break away from—a guy you know isn’t good for you, who messes you around on a regular basis, and who you should get rid of pronto. Walking away from him once and for all can actually be incredibly difficult, but remembering these things may make it a little easier.

1. NO ONE’S JUDGING YOU.

Most women have been in a similar situation before of loving someone who’s wrong for us. We’ve found a guy who we really like but we’re not really compatible with. The relationship is toxic and as a result, we’re on and off with them more times than our freakin’ washing machine. Perhaps you keep saying you’re done with this guy because you’re worried about what people think of you for continuing to entertain the loser, or maybe you genuinely believe him when he says he’s changed only to find out that he’s the same old jerk he’s always been. Either way, it’s your life and you have to live it. It’s completely up to you what you decide to do in this situation.

2. YOU HAVE TO OWN YOUR FEELINGS.

You clearly keep going back to him because you have genuine feelings for the guy. That’s fine—sometimes we can’t help but fall for guys we shouldn’t. It’s the whole “forbidden fruit” thing and it’s human nature, but make sure you own it. The best thing to do in this situation is admit your feelings and be honest with yourself. Don’t pretend like you don’t give a crap when you clearly do. You’ll never be able to process or move on from those feelings if you don’t.

3. MAYBE YOU CAN’T WALK AWAY BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF.

Deep down, you probably know that this situation isn’t right, but you’re confusing yourself by going back and forth all the time. You need to take a step back from everything to assess what exactly you’re doing. It’s true what they say: hindsight is a beautiful thing. Assessing what’s actually happened between you and the glaring red flags he’s shown when you’ve been together can go a long way in helping you find the strength to walk away.

4. IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE OBJECTIVE, BUT YOU CAN AT LEAST TRY.

If you keep ending things with this guy but then find yourself going back constantly to turn up at his house and check on him, you’re clearly conflicted. You need to figure out whether this “thing” that you’re doing to each other is worth it. Is it sustainable or a short-term fix? Will the old problems keep re-surfacing? If the answer to this question is yes, then you might just be wasting valuable time that you could be using to get over him.

5. YOU DESERVE THE BEST.

If you decide that this guy is worth all the stress then, by all means, give it a proper shot. But bear in mind that there have been reasons it hasn’t worked out before, and these reasons should be addressed, eliminated, or no longer apply for the relationship to work this time. Otherwise, what’s the point in trying again? Disclaimer: you deserve a guy who’s not going to keep messing with your head, heart, and emotions. You deserve the world.

6. YOU’RE DRAGGING OUT A BAD SITUATION.

Be careful what you decide, because you might just be prolonging the inevitable. Would it be better to just call it quits now rather than persist with an unstable relationship? All that back and forth is exhausting and not good for either of you. Relationships should never be stuck on pause; they should always keep progressing and thriving.

7. YOU’RE WASTING PRECIOUS TIME.

The time you’re spending playing these never-ending games with this guy could be better spent finding someone who won’t mess you around. Think about it: if you’re already in this situation now, what makes you think that you’re going to get out of it anytime soon, or that you’re not going to end up back here eventually with him? If you find someone else who you’re more compatible with, you won’t have to put up with all of this.

8. IT’S A DRAINING SITUATION FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED.

It’s not just you guys who are drained, your friends and family members are likely to be too. Of course, your loved ones want to be there for you and will be there for you no matter what, but spare a thought for them for a second. They’re the ones who have to give you advice, make you feel better and pick up the pieces every time that the guy drops you, as well as each time that you decide that you’re done… only for you to go back to him a few days later. It’s not fair for everybody involved.

9. IT’S TIME TO MAKE A DECISION ONCE AND FOR ALL.

There’s no in-between when it comes to relationships; you’re either going to make it work with this guy or you’ll have to leave things completely. It’s an all-or-nothing kind of situation. Go with your heart but use your head. Make a decision and try to stick with it. Sure, it’s easier said than done, but it’ll be better for everyone in the long run.