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Vandrevala Foundation

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Can an introvert become an extrovert?

Commonly we believe that being introvert is about being shy and being an extrovert is about being a party animal. However, it is far more interesting and complex than that. It is really about energy levels and how our brains and bodies react biologically to the things around us, particularly to people and noise.

Extroverts get a high out of being with people and gain energy from social situations, which is why they are often on top at parties. But they also enjoy solitude and quiet time, and many times extroverts are not noisy themselves. On the other hand, introverts spend less energy in social situations. This does not mean that they cannot enjoy it, they can. But it does mean that they can be exhausted more quickly and may feel stressed if they do not get some peace. They just need time on their own and this need tends to be greater in introverts.

Nobody is entirely introvert or extrovert, but somewhere on the scale and may behave differently in different situations. Below are a few common features of introverts and extroverts to help you understand your personality better.

Introverts often tend to

Extroverts often tend to

Concentrate inwardly and enjoy time thinking

Focus outwards and look for new experiences

Being happy relaxing on their own and being quite

Easily outgoing

Be tired by social interactions, even if they are enjoying it

Get energy from social interactions

Prefer talking to one person at a time

Enjoy having lots of people around them

Prefer contentment to the excitement

Have lots of super-positive emotions like desire, joy, excitement, etc

Do not enjoy risks and thrills very much

Thrill-seekers, enjoy risky and new experiences

Suffer more from embarrassment

Show their emotions clearly on their faces

More reserved at showing emotions

Enjoy working collaboratively

Dislike working collaboratively; often do well on their own

Can you change your personality?

Many introverts learn to perform as extroverts at least some of the time. There are things in school and college that require you to be an extrovert, like putting up your hand to answer, presenting something to the class, giving speeches, attending school functions, etc. These activities bring advantages like boosting your self-esteem, and therefore, they are worth trying.

The practice is the key here too. The more often you do a difficult action, the easier it becomes to do next time. Learn relaxation skills, find the symptoms of nerves that are only temporary, try to feel positive afterward- all these are going to be helpful. Also, introverts may experience more embarrassment than extroverts and feel awkward and self-conscious too. In this case, remind yourself that feeling embarrassed or awkward is absolutely common. Rather they are positive emotions that are designed to make you sensitive to others and to situations. Others are not usually judging you as much as you think, they have a life and concerns of their own and most of them will be sympathetic to how you feel.

This doesn’t mean that you don’t have to be an introvert, but its worth learning to do some of the things that extroverts find easier. In the end, do not assume that people who are all smiles are always happy, quiet people can be happy too.

NEXT STORY

8 reasons why people criticize you

Criticism is a common—but painful—experience. Being criticized may produce fear, shame or anger, and feed into your insecurities. Obviously, not all critics produce these negative experiences, there is a positive criticism that makes you think and helps you grow. To discover it is important to understand what provokes people to criticize, if their reasons are valid or, on the contrary, are only a strategy to reassert their power, complain or humiliate.

People criticize you because:

They feel endangered by some of your qualities and use criticism as a defense to try to balance the game. In practice, these people feel inferior, then attack your flaws trying to take you down to their level.

They like to feel accountable for the situation in every moment and get scared when they feel that are losing control. In such cases, criticizing you return to them, at least in part, the feeling of control, because they believe to tear you down this way and take the control.

They want to gain something: They criticize you in front of someone else; to make sure they look better, both at work and with friends. In this case they do it because consider you a rival or a competitor.

They try to draw your attention and approval, but since they’re short of social and emotional skills, fail to do it in an assertive way, so they end up, complaining or whining. In fact, when people think they are skilled in every field, often criticize others to demonstrate what they know and reaffirm their position, looking for admiration.

They’re project their fears and insecurities: In fact, when people do not admit some of their features and recognize them in the others, they generate in them a deep denial and open the way to criticism.

They feel frustrated as they have tried to express their needs and opinions in a more assertive way, but you haven’t been paying attention and, then, they discharge all that anger in the criticism.

They need to feel powerful, even if it means over powering you and to achieve this, they use criticism as a stick with which they hit you.

The way to respond to criticism depends largely on the situation and the reasons that cause it. In fact, there are circumstances where is better not to do it, because reacting to criticism would only serve to further develop the other person and satisfy his/her desire for leadership and control. In these cases it is best to pay no attention to them, because trying to defend ourselves would only lead to a dead end. Hence, if you can, pretend that nothing has happened. When the person who criticizes you is significant for you, it is necessary that you pay attention and let him/her know that you love and esteem him/her, even if you do not agree with that opinion. You can also point out to that person that you respect his/her ideas and efforts, but always asserting your freedom and the right to make your own decisions. Nobody enjoys to be criticized, but it is part of the human experience. Try to find the middle ground between taking too much accountability for other people’s issues and being too defensive.

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