When the victorious Rugby World Cup semi-finalists enter the battlefield in next weekend’s showpiece final, there is every chance they could be led out by our very own iconic, world-class and much-loved referee.

Most difficult time in his life

Having grown up in the small Carmarthenshire community of Mynydd Cerrig, Owens is regarded as the one of the top officials in rugby union, and is loved for his quick-witted retorts to any player brave enough to argue a decision.

Off the field, Owens became one of the first people to come out in the world of rugby as gay, and has openly spoken about the huge challenge in accepting who he is – including his suicide attempt, at the age of 26 – in the past.

In an emotional new interview, which will be screened on Monday evening in a BBC programme called Nigel Owens, True to Myself, he opens up further about the most difficult time in his life.

Referee Nigel Owens shows Jannie Du Plessis of South Africa a yellow card during the 2015 Rugby World Cup Pool B match between South Africa and Scotland

Didn’t really know what being gay was

The referee, now 44, grew up in a community where he “didn’t really know gay people and what being gay was,” and struggled to cope with his own, changing feelings as a teenager 25 years ago – the “biggest challenge” of his life.

“At 18, 19 years of age I was becoming different,” explains Owens. “I was starting to have feelings for somebody of the same sex as me, and this was alien to me. This is not the way I’ve been brought up. This is not what I know.

And it was the words of his mother Mair that struck Owens, as she told him if he was planning to try and take his life again he was to take his parents with him, because they would not be able to live without him.

“I told myself you have to grow up here and accept who you are.”

BBCNigel Owens began refereeing while still at school

Telling your mum you’re gay is not easy

But, Owens kept his homosexuality secret for a number of years after that, and although his life seemed much better from the outside – his refereeing career flourishing along with a co-presenter role on S4C programme, Jonathan with Jonathan Davies – he was still “lying” about who he was.

Homosexual abuse on the pitch ‘hurts’

Fastforwarding years later, Owens also spoke about the incident at Twickenham in 2014, when he was subjected to homophobic abuse from the crowd during the England-All Blacks match, which had been brought to light in a letter to the Guardian newspaper from an England fan who complained of “shameful” comments aimed at the Welsh official.

“I can’t make the difference. The people who make the difference are the people in the stadium, who wrote that letter to the paper, who stood up and told people this is not acceptable.”

Nigel Owens may have looked a fair bit different when he was younger, but he still knew how to put a front row in its place

He’s been a catalyst, says Eddie Butler

And it is that viewpoint – now widely and wholly accepted in the game of rugby union and sport as a whole – which much-loved Welshman Owens has helped create, says sports commentator and former Welsh International Eddie Butler.

“I think he has been the catalyst, the only person who has accelerated sport towards the point where if you find out somebody is gay, you just say… so what?” said Butler.

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