How not to pick up guys

by Sarah Luna

Picture this: A balmy night in Lincoln Park, a live salsa band melding Afro-Cuban rhythms and melodies, a crowd of salseros “taking it down to street level”. And then there’s me and my ballroomies.

Here’s a typical exchange:

Salsero: Would you like to dance?
Me: I’d love to.
Salsero: So where are you from?
Me: I’m from California, but I’m studying at Cornell right now.
Salsero: Oh, what do you study?
Me: Human nutrition.
Salsero: And what brings you to the city?
Me: I’m taking a workshop in epidemiology.
Salsero: What??

Just once, I’d like a partner to ask me something completely off the wall while we dance. I mean, come on, I’m a captive audience at that point. Let’s get a little creative, boys.

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6 Comments to “How not to pick up guys”

….But if you actually want to pick up a guy, you wouldn’t want to start something off with lies. Hmm… clever. At least if you make something up, you can think of something really awesome. Maybe you can pick a character description from Firefly or something.

Why are you talking to salsaroo boys? Seriously, they should be all dance and no words. See what happens when they open their mouths? I bet you couldn’t even enjoy the dancing after that display of ignorance. At least your brother has those awful pick up lines that are entertaining, not that he has any type of success with them….

Speaking of killing anyone with your brain, I had a cup of brain tissue pass my work bench today and it reminded me of “Driving Mr. Albert: a trip across America with Einstein’s brain”. I also saw pinworms (not in the brain), but that didn’t remind me of any book I’ve ever read.