Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Husbands as Spiritual Leaders: What Do We Expect?

I hear it all the
time: “My husband isn’t the spiritual leader he ought to be.” “My husband
doesn’t take the spiritual leadership in our home.” “My husband doesn’t pray
with me.” “My husband doesn’t initiate discussions about spiritual things.”

The Bible talks
about God’s order in the home:But I
would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the
woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God (1 Corinthians 11:3). This is about responsibility, and it
includes spiritual responsibility, since the husband is responsible to Christ.

Wife doesn’t think Husband is
taking spiritual leadership. She doesn’t see
his spiritual leadership. (She's thinking she's more spiritual than her husband.) It’s a common issue, and I believe it’s
one we need to understand. What’s going on?

Let me make a few observations,
and we’ll take off from there:

Men and women handle spirituality differently.Many men are more private about their prayer life, their
Bible reading, and their relationship with God. Women, on the other hand, want
to share. They like to talk to their
friends about their Bible study, about answers to prayer, and what they’re
learning. Women are more eager to join a ladies’ Bible study, where they share
their thoughts and blessings. (Have you even heard of a men’s Bible study group?) Men might pray with friends. (I
know several men who meet with close friends for prayer.) But, you’ll rarely
hear them discuss their personal spiritual walk with others. It’s one of those
differences between men and women.

Men are the
spiritual heads of their homes. They don’t have to prove it. Let me explain. God has made the man responsible for his
home, both in the spiritual realm and in leadership. Whether or not the man acts like a general, he is the general. His wife is to follow
his leadership, respecting his position. The same is true with spirituality.
The Bible even says that if she has questions at church, she may ask her
husband at home. (1 Corinthians 14:35) He is
her spiritual authority, just as he is the head of their family.

Your husband may have a different time and method for doing
his personal devotions.He may do them
in the parked car before going into his place of work in the morning. He might
read the Bible on his lunch break. He might pray as he mows the lawn. He may
read and pray while you’re making supper. He probably won’t be very public
about his devotional life. Whereas you might enjoy doing yours in the breakfast
nook with your notebook at hand, he may not. It’s quite okay if you each meet
the Lord in the way that's comfortable for you.

Husbands do not like to be confronted about their
relationship with God.(I doubt if you do,
either.) Christian Hubby knows he’s responsible before the Lord for the whole
family. He doesn’t need to be reminded or questioned about it.

It’s fine to ask his opinion about a certain
Bible passageor a spiritual issue you
need to understand. If he doesn’t know, he’ll do some research and get back to
you.

So, what does a spiritual leader husband look like?

For some, he’s a Bible-toting man who has lengthy devotions
with the familyevery day. His pious
platitudes punctuate every dinner conversation, and the children are held in
rapturous awe at his obvious spirituality. I
am kidding! Wives don’t even want
this! (You’d think so, though, by women’s comments.)

Or, is a spiritual leader a man
who gracefully, gently leads his family? He makes sure they’re faithful to church and that they serve the Lord together. He
prays and reads his Bible, and he asks God to help him make wise decisions. He
lives cleanly, is a good husband and father, and he helps others. He is
comfortable in his relationship with the Lord and with his wife and children. He's loving and kind.

He is the leader. Let him lead. The Bible says wives are to respect (KJV reverence) their husband. This means
they’re to support him in his role as head of the home. There aren’t any
conditions on this. There isn’t a clause that says, “if he spends an hour a day
reading his Bible.” Your husband is
the head of your home.

If his style of spiritual
leadership is different than you imagine it should be, well, men are different
from women.

If you think he’s not spiritual
because you don’t see him reading his
Bible or you don’t hear him praying,
you’re judging him without really knowing what he does.

If you have a Christian
husband, and you’ve been yearning for your
idea of spiritual leadership when he was exercising his, you’re not alone.

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Hi and welcome to In the Way! I explore many subjects, striving always to present them from a biblical viewpoint. Feel free to browse the tabs at the top for general categories. If you don't see what you're looking for, use the search button below. I'm a pastor's wife, mother of two, grandma, teacher, author, and blogger. I live in a quaint little village in the beautiful Basque region of northern Spain.

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Lou Ann is a young-thinking grandma with an infectious laugh. She rejoices in nature and other beautiful things--including people! She's an avid writer and practices several other artistic expressions, like singing when no one's listening, calligraphy, photography, and even "serious art." Lou Ann loves her Lord Jesus Christ, family, and her church.