Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My Bladder is Full of Larry David

I imagine myself urinating on The Star of David, and I can't do it. Or the Israeli flag, perhaps, nope, I couldn't do that either.

I have had my own mental differences and uncomfortable squeemishness with regard to our staunch ally, Israel. Some of the things done in our name, with our weapons, to Palestinian citizens, have deeply disturbed me. Why? Because I read the news, and I make the damned mistake of caring about what goes on in the world.

Would I ever, in a million years URINATE on the Israeli Flag or the Star of David? Hell no! I don't care how rich or famous I ever became (ha! as if!) I couldn't imagine a world, or a reason for doing something so hideous and hate-filled as to offend my fellow Americans who are Jewish, or my fellow human beings who are Israelis. I think I'd sooner have my f#cking head cut off by a terrorist than do that.

You know, I'm not even religious anymore. I was raised Catholic, and I sure as hell have my problems with the church. Those nuns used to knock me around like a Chinese gong. Thus, I even have my own humor blog posing as an irreverant Catholic Priest.

But urinating on Christ's image? In this day and age? In this already inflamed world we live in?

There is a Jingoist sort of tone such a thing sets and I've felt it before in foreign countries. You get it when people speak over and around you, expecting you not to understand the jokes they are making about you, the filthy foreigner.

Here Larry David perhaps is showing us the inside of Hollywood's jingoistic bowel; vehemently anti-christian and definitely anti-catholic; validating every hate-filled speech by every David Duke, and Howard Metzger out there. Validating every single hate-camp of the flaming cross in every back-woods community we have. And do we need more of them, Mr. David? Is this what you were aiming at? Perhaps for your next trick you could pen another Turner Diaries.

For Larry David not only feigned the act thereof, or actually did micturate on Christ's image (oh but it was portrayed as an accident), he actually had help in those around him who produced this and displayed it on caballa television. And HBO put this bit of hate on for us to watch!?

A footnote to this outrage: if Mel Gibson had taken out his winkle during his drunken tirade and wink-tinkied on an Israeli Flag, how OVER would his career be at this point? But in his meager defense, Gibson, was Billie-Goat drunk when he went into his tirade about Jews. David, was stone sober, and did this bit of hate, as a bit, for television, for which he was paid handsomly.

What am I missing? Am I missing something?

David's show is about what, precisely? Being Jewish, in Hollywood? If there is a common thread that may be it. Mostly it's about David goofing on himself, his own brand of crass insensitivity.

But we have to remember that Larry David is an educated man. Is there a subtext? Is there propaganda afoot here? See, this is the thing about hate when it surfaces, not humor, hate. Hate opens the door to questions we should not be asking. Questions we wouldn't even think of asking in the absence of it.

Is Larry David saying this is what Hollywood Jews and Israelis feel about Christians in this country? Bear in mind, religiously, I am not in this fight. I'm as agnostic as you can be.

But what I am is incensed for Christians/Catholics across the country for what Larry David did, and totally disgusted with HBO for not having an explanation for it that bears any scrutiny, and totally perplexed at Hollywood elites; especially when balanced against the good going over they gave to Mel Gibson after his racist lapse.

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What is "My Bladder is Full"

My Bladder is Full is dedicated to the concept that in these difficult times, it is far better to be pissed off, than to be pissed on. Like it says in the title, "it's healthy to release."

My Bladder is not for the squeemish. And there is every chance that word is not spelled correctly. But it just might be. So I leave it.

My Bladder seeks out targets of the absurd, targets of self-importance, and the ... just a moment while my wife yells at me:there, all done ... corporately flattulent, and stabs them squarely in the balls with my rapier wit, bad, violent metaphors, and poor spelling.

I am the noisemaker at the back of the room, the malcontent who never grew up, and I will be heard.

Find What Fills My Bladder! From Glenn Beck to 2012

About Me

Editor David Kearns is the author of Where Hell Freezes Over (Dunne Books 2005) the non-fiction account of his father's plane crash and rescue during Naval Operation Highjump, Antarctica 1946/47.
He graduated from Florida Tech 1987 with a degree in Geological Oceanography. He spent two years in Honduras as a Peace Corps Volunteer (1988-90) working with small scale farmers and fishing cooperatives. His writing career began in 1994 working for weekly newspapers, then local dailies in Sebastian, Florida. David enjoys surfing, fishing and travelling to Ireland with his family.
DavidAnthonyKearns@Gmail.com