This is the spiritual journey of me, Eccles, my big brother Bosco, and my Grate-Anti Moly. Eccles is saved, not sure about Bosco, and we've got real problems with Anti.

This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles

Thursday, 18 July 2013

The Gay Murder Debate

From the blog of Father Z, author of "I'm a St Mark's Man" and "Cannon Law Made Simple".

Say the black,
do the red, and
eat the orange.

Should homosexuals be allowed to commit murders, when such conduct is forbidden to heterosexuals?
Sometimes their crimes don't get any publicity, do they? Try Googling "Jack the Ripper", a notorious
heterosexual murderer, and you´ll find there are millions of hits. But try Googling "Htarfogh Jukjlpop",
a "gay" murderer from Latvia, and you'll find hardly any mention of his crimes!

At the end of Mass last Sunday, I heard two of the congregation - probably homosexual - talking. "Fancy a
takeaway?" said one. "I could murder a Chinese or an Indian," said the other. "Or how about
something Italian? A pastor maybe?"
[This bit goes in black bold square brackets because it's where I needed a lie down.]
Everyone talks about Custer's last stand against the Native American Indians, but do they mention
gay Catholics attacking pastors?
[Now would be a good time to scratch your ear if you feel like it - remember,
say the black and do the red!]

General Custer - persecuted for not being "gay".

Remember St Paul's letter to the Roman Catholics? "It has come to my attention that some of my
brethren have been indulging in unnatural sexual practices and sometimes murder. Be sure that the
Lord doth not approve. By the way I am sending you a parcel of Mystic Monk coffee, as an aid to
digestion and virtue."

From the blog of Damian Thompson, once described as a "custard-crazed ferret".

Damian Thompson.

Father Z's blog shows the most disgusting nasty vile disgraceful homophobia that I have seen since Brother
Eccles mocked the late Soho Masses on his own blog. May I point out that on the Telegraph blogs we have 200
gay bloggers, and I do not know of any who are murderers! Also, I think you'll find that it
was General Custard, and not Custer, who was such an enemy of the Indians.

A close personal contact in Rome, Signora Odone, who cleans the papal washrooms, has kept her ear to
the ground, and she assures me that Catholic teaching on the rights of homosexuals to commit murder
is sure to evolve.

Father Z's ranting reminds me of the worst excesses of Adolf Hitler. Which is a cue for
an amusing story: when Hitler heard of the defeat at Stalingrad, he went mad and started biting
the carpet. But, his staff told us, "He always made sure that he had plenty of custard on it!"

A deacon writes.

Eccles is getting at me again, I see, from the references to Hitler, above.
Call me the Deacon from Hell, mock me all you want, but spare my family, and above all spare
my pet goldfish, Adolf.

Adolf, a goldfish in good standing.

After a campaign of stalking and harassment some brilliant detective work, I am finally
ready to reveal the true identity of Eccles! It is a town somewhere to the south-west of Manchester.
And he thought he could keep this a secret!

Having read Z's blog post I can see why D.T might have been annoyed, for it screams anti-homosexual from start to finish. Perhaps Z's comments and the glowing reaction of certain traditionalist types to it reveals as much about the sexuality of these people as it does about Mr Thompson. Forgive my lack of humour, but it usually gets me into trouble.

..your lack of humour doesn't so much get you into trouble as make you look like a smug self-satisfied git, with a bee in your bonnet about any Catholic who doesn't believe 1963 was Year Zero. It's your lack of logic that gets you into trouble.

By your reasoning anyone who objects in the slightest to any facet of sodomitical behaviour is now to be classified as a sodomite.

List of awards this blog has won

Best blog by an idiotBest blog by someone who is truly savedBlog most read by saved peopleCruellest blog attacking saintly pious peopleMost spiritual blog by a sockpuppetKieran Conry prize for virtue, modesty and humilityPottymouth Times award for the nastiest blog everStupidest pictures ever seen on a blogLeast read blog of 2015 (2nd prize to Bruvver Bosco)Tina Beattie medal for promoting orthodoxy"Utter filth" (Sheds and Shedmen, Croydon)

Bishop of Lancaster's cup for well-placed ad hominem attacks

Eccles has been named as one of the 100 most influential saved people in Notting Hell, by the prestigious Calumny Chapel Parish Newsletter.