Now the reason why many act the way you propose, is because the programming of the world, covers up the built in morals, and ego justifies
whatever it wants.

Speaking of 'Ego' wouldn't you say the majority of relationships are terminated prematurely because of ego?

As an enlightened being, you would surely agree that infidelities and straying are part of the 'lust' programming. However, it seems to me, in this
day and age that minor indiscretions are a major cause for couples sever all ties whether it benefits them or not. Where is the forgiveness?

I would be aghast if my wife were to stray....yet I would not be without some partial blame due to ignorance? I would feel betrayed, yet
understanding that she may need something else?

This whole monogamy thing is all good in theory, yet the human ego needs fulfillment. I couldn't fathom myself throwing my wife to the curb,
breaking apart a family, dividing all assets, and breeding a general atmosphere of hate for a minor fling. I would most likely forgive her and move
on. This is just me and old fashioned thinking I guess.

Now if she bolted and left her family, that would be a different story...

Ugh, too many variables..

Marriage is more than just 'puppy love'. It is a partnership and a sort of unconditional love that extends beyond carnal urges.

Your BIL is most likely at that 7 year itch, and feeling cool because some hottie at the gym is flirting with him. It could be a phase, or could not.
Your sister will eventually find out. (or maybe not).

Is it really your place to get involved without solid evidence?

These are tough choices, but if your sister and fiance are a good couple and you genuinely like the guy, maybe let this ride...for a bit. Maybe just
hint that you know what's up, and let it sort out.

Originally posted by Night Star
So did you tell her? I sure as hell would want to know if I bought a house with the guy and was going to marry him. Tell her what you suspect and why
and leave the rest up to her.

Nope, didn't say anything. He still goes to the gym, but now with no cologne, and he's usually bummy dressed, unlike before.

I think this is what happened. He used to work at this gym, and there was probably a new girl working there, smiling, flirting, etc. So he got excited
and started going there, etc. But nothing ever came of the flirtation and now he's back to normal self with no cologne and no sneaking texts.

I understand we all have the potential to cheat, as men, however I have opted to just keep an eye on habits and have not said anything yet.

she's your sister. i have exes, my wife has exes. if you don't tell her she will find out. just say "i have cheated on women, your fiance is
cheating on you. either dump or i will call you the stupidest fill in the blank every day for the rest of your life"

I am with you. Tell her but be ready... she won't believe you. Maybe at first but he will make her think you are trying to split them up. Something
crazy happens when a woman blinds herself.
After time goes by she will realize that you did the right thing by telling her but for now you'll be the enemy.
Been there, done that.

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