The Fighter

Mark Walberg’s new film isn't about boxing. It’s really about family.

Sometimes you think life is about one thing, but it’s really about something else.

For example, TheFighter is a movie about fighting. But it’s not really about boxing.

Sure, there’s boxing in it. But the main point of the boxing seems to be to give the movie a place to end – it’s over when the main character starts winning fights instead of losing them. But the fact is that the average person can’t really relate to boxing. I know I can’t. To me, boxing is two people standing around in their underwear and punching each other. My little boys do that sometimes, and it’s my job, as a parent, to break it up before someone wins.

It’s all about life, really.

The Fighteris about fighting, but it’s about a type of fighting that more people can relate to. The movie is about family, and like most families, the family in this movie spends the entire time yelling at each other. The mother yells at the kids, the kids yell at each other, the father gets things thrown at him, and no one really likes the girl that the son brings home. It’s all about life, really.

The movie follows Micky Ward, a real-life boxer from Massachusetts, and this is what his family is like, except with Boston accents.

It’s a hahd life. Wicked hahd.

Micky (Mark Wahlberg) is a low-level boxer who moonlights as a street paver, and at the beginning of the movie, he’s being trained by his half-brother, an ex-boxer named Dicky (Christian Bale), who moonlights as Batman. (Dicky is the trainer Micky needs, but not the trainer Micky wants. Well, actually, he might not be the trainer Micky needs either.) Dicky spends most of his time at a crack house, and between his boxing history and his drug habit, not one tooth in his mouth is his. Dicky’s one of those guys who cannot talk to you without putting his arm over your shoulders. He’s so messed up that when HBO comes by to shoot a movie about celebrities addicted to drugs, he thinks it’s a movie about his boxing comeback. He walks around throughout the taping, giving high-fives to everyone in town, and they all know who he is and are all into boxing, because apparently there’s not much else to do in small-town Massachusetts after 4 PM.

Dicky is an unreliable trainer -- sometimes he doesn’t show up to the gym atall. The boys’ mother, Alice, who is also Micky’s manager, does show up, and she gets upset that Micky’s training with someone else instead of waiting for his brother to get off his tuchus and remember where he’s supposed to be. To Dicky and Alice, the training, the movie, and Micky’s career are all about Dicky. It’s not about Micky needing help. It’s about Dicky helping him. And if Dicky isn’t helping him, then noone should.

Dicky and his mother aren’t the only family in Micky’s life. There’s also Micky’s father, as well as a gaggle of seven sisters whose major form of entertainment is collectively standing in on arguments that don’t concern them and not quite knowing what’s going on but taking sides anyway.

But as far as Alice is concerned, she has only two kids who can bring her any kind of nachas, by which she means money. So Dicky and Alice get Micky into whatever fights they can – even fights that Micky can’t possibly win – and they don’t care, so long as everyone gets paid, and Dicky can buy who-knows-what and Alice can continue housing her seven grown-up daughters, whose combined monthly hairspray bill alone has to be at least three digits.

Micky goes along with it and rolls with the punches, even though they’re actual physical punches, and even though he has better options. Because what is he going to do? They’re family! On some level he realizes they’re doing it for themselves, but they’re not willing to admit it, and he’s not willing to say anything.

So at the beginning of the movie, Micky is losing every fight. He’s what boxers call a “Stepping Stone” – he’s like the evil mushroom at the beginning of every Mario game. He gets out there thinking he can defeat Mario, but really he’s there so Mario can practice jumping. And the mushroom’s family doesn’t care, because he has life insurance.

But then Micky meets a girl who loves him but doesn’t love his family quite as much as he does, and she encourages him, for his own good, to cut them off. She and Micky’s father get him a different trainer and a manager named “Sal” (every boxer, at some point in his career, is legally required to have a manager named “Sal”), and Micky starts actually winning some fights, but Dicky and his mother are, of course, offended.

Then at some point, Dicky gives Micky some advice that helps him win a fight that he otherwise would have lost, and Micky eventually brings Dicky back, only to have everyone else walk off. In the end, it’s up to Dicky to wake up, realize that not everything’s about him, and bring everyone back together.

In general, our families can be our greatest causes of emotional duress, but they can also be our greatest instruments of success. Most of us, at some point, find ourselves in Micky’s shoes. When we first get married, for example, our parents give us lots of loving advice, and we know it all comes from a good place. But then our in-laws also give us a lot of meddling advice, and most of it conflicts with our parents’ advice. So we sit down with our spouses in each given situation and figure out what we’re going to do, and whenever we pick one option or the other – What do you know? – someone gets offended.

But are they giving advice for you, or for them? People keep making Micky choose between one relative and the other, but all he really wants is everyone. No one person will get him to the top. Everyone has strengths to bring to the table. But really it’s about the rest of the family understanding that, right?

But what about you? Right before each of my kids learns to crawl, I have this slight hesitation about encouraging him. Perhaps you feel the same way with your kids. You know that once he starts crawling, he’s going to get into everything, and you’re going to have to spend the whole day pulling him out of under the furniture and rooting around in his mouth to find out what he’s chewing. There’s a part of you that would prefer he stay still until he’s old enough to understand the word “no”.

But you teach him to crawl anyway. And yes, he’s going to put things in his mouth, and yes, you’re going to have to chase him around the house, yelling “No!” But sometimes you have to put yourself to the side and realize that your child learning to crawl is not about you. It’s about him.

At the beginning of the movie, Dicky thinks that HBO is making a movie about his comeback. The Fighter is about Dicky realizing that he’s not making a comeback, at least not at the moment. Sometimes, your comeback is more about what you give others. Many parents have a deep-seated fear that their child will outgrow them, but it’s all about passing the torch. Sometimes you have to put yourself to the side to let other people get through. And in the end, when Micky wins, Dicky is happier than he’s ever been, even in his own victories.

The Fighter is not about Micky. It’s about Dicky realizing that it’s about Micky.

Visitor Comments: 3

(3)
Ruth,
January 4, 2011 7:34 PM

The Fighter

I loved the movie and this is a very insighful review.

(2)
MH83045,
January 4, 2011 3:22 PM

The Fighter Movie

I appreciate your review of this recent film. I do agree with you the movie is more about family. The boxing ring is simply a metaphor of the real point of the story. I saw the movie and was impressed with the story line and the actors. Coming from the Boston area and being very familiar with the city of Lowell, the blue collar dreams of being something more than the physical assets of one's life. The dreams and aspirations of one individual is colored by one's family. Mickey and Dicky is a bridge to the opportunity of grasping family with all of its imperfections.

(1)
Ania,
January 3, 2011 11:07 PM

Thank you.

Thank you for this great review. The film hasn't been showing in Australia as yet but I will definitely go to see it when it comes this month.

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I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...