Who should pay off college credit-card debt?

Q: Your college freshman has racked up a mound of credit card debt. Who should pay it off, and how?

Parent advice

First I would find out why he racked up the debt. Did he need books or supplies for his dorm room? Was it for some expense not covered by tuition you didn't know about, and he was afraid to tell you? I might be willing to help with some of the debt if he was spending for something for school. Otherwise, I would see about a credit counselor and help him find a part-time job to pay it off or see if the debt could be negotiated down.

The beauty of older children is that they can actually earn money! And each job that they have teaches them all kinds of important lessons, like how to get along with their boss, how to follow directions, how to fill out a tax return and keep track of their earnings. Parents who are bailing their college-age kids out of debt are setting a dangerous precedent. Learning to stand on your own two feet is an important lesson that not enough kids in our society are being taught. And there is a bonus to holding the line on this issue. Your child's confidence in his/her ability to triumph over adversity will skyrocket once the debt is paid off. And that is priceless!

—Dawn Lantero

My question would be, was this a parent's credit card that the student used or was this a credit card that the student signed for? If it is the student's card I would not pay it. If there hasn't been a discussion on what is parental financial responsibility and student responsibility, this would be a great time. As parents, we sometimes assume that our children know. Whether we like it or not, it is an ongoing discussion. As things cropped up, my husband and I would have to make decisions on how things were going to work in our family. Of my four children, only one acquired all of the "thrift genes." While my husband and I wanted all of them to graduate from college, this had to be their goal. We told them that we would pay tuition and room and board. They had to buy books, clothes, entertainment, etc. Three of them graduated with credit card bills. We never inquired into the amount. Two were able to get car loans within a year of graduating from college. When our children were going to college, credit cards were passed out like free samples!

—Barb Matarrese

"The beauty of older children is that they can actually earn money! And each job that they have teaches them all kinds of important lessons, like how to get along with their boss, how to follow directions, how to fill out a tax return and keep track of their earnings. Parents who are bailing their college-age kids out of debt are setting a dangerous precedent. Learning to stand on your own two feet is an important lesson that not enough kids in our society are being taught. And there is a bonus to holding the line on this issue. Your child's confidence in his/her ability to triumph over adversity will skyrocket once the debt is paid off. And that is priceless!"

—Dawn Lantero

Expert advice

Excessive credit card borrowing can unhinge all the plans that students have laid to pay for their education, ultimately forcing them to leave school, said Stephen Talbott, a former financial reporter and editor for the Cleveland Plain Dealer and author of the e-book "How Much Should I Borrow for College?"

So, Talbott suggests paying off the debt for the student, if you can, to save on interest costs.

"But set up an arrangement with them to pay back the money over time," he said. "Actions have consequences, and students should not feel free to open your wallet at whim."

This is an opportunity to help a young adult grasp a hard lesson in how "easy credit" can mess up a person's life at any point, not just during college.

Until you're sure that lesson has been learned, Talbott said, "either confiscate their credit cards or insist on a limit per semester that they can spend."

Join us on Facebook

Find "The Parent 'Hood" page on Facebook, where you can post your parenting questions and offer tips and solutions for others to try.

It happens to the best of us as parents. Our normally well-behaved child, the one who always remembers to say please and thank you to strangers, suddenly drops to the floor in a full-on meltdown. We feel your pain and to sympathize, we've collected evidence that you're not alone. Take a look, enjoy...