Sunday’s La Liga match between Barcelona and Espanyol was an eventful affair. The animosity-fueled Catalan Derby was as charged as usual, and this one in particular had some notable flashpoints that inspired the league office to open an investigation. Just, not into any of the actual bad stuff that happened.

Well would you look at that! Roberto Soldado—once renowned for his uncanny ability to get goals without ever looking all that impressive doing so, now more famous as the world’s second-biggest bottler (behind fellow Spaniard Fernando Torres) stemming from his terrible stint with Tottenham—is back in Spain and back…

Having the world's fanciest dribbler weave past defenders and flick the ball out to the world's best all-around striker, who then chips a pass to the world's best player, who then pokes it past a defender, then past the keeper is a pretty foolproof strategy, it turns out.

Like, c'mon. This shouldn't be legal. Sure, it's only the Catalan Supercup, but Espanyol are a real team and Luis Suárez still had to juke the defender out of his shorts before chipping an outrageous pass onto the head of Gerard Piqué. Here's the vine:

The Associated Press is reporting that Catalan clubs like Barcelona, Espanyol could be barred from playing Spain's La Liga sooner rather than later. Sure, that's true, whatever. On the other hand, c'mon.

Over at Sharapova's Thigh, there's an 8-minute video of Espanyol striker Walter Pandiani gradually getting sweatier and sweatier over the course of a press conference. We're not big on "gradual" around here, so we've chopped it up to show how that light blue dress shirt never had a chance.