Tag Archives: latex

This went significantly longer than 30 days! But finally, the last installment.

26. What’s your opinion of online BDSM play?

I think it’s not at all the same as playing in person. There is a very different feel to a scene where someone else is administering the pain/bondage/etc. Yes, the bottom can always (at least in theory) stop the scene with a safeword when playing in person. However, when playing online, it’s as easy as simply stopping since the other person is not there to prevent it. In addition to that, another person doesn’t know exactly how it feels in the moment to be tied/flogged/spanked/etc, and s/he is going to be the one doing the actions. When administering pain or bondage to yourself, you can simply not hit quite as hard (or hit a bit harder) to get the desired (by you) result. The top is usually going to hit harder/softer to get the reaction (or desired result) s/he wants. All that being said, I wouldn’t go so far (as I’ve seen others do) as to call online play “fake.” It’s real, it’s simply different.

27. Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

In an extremely roundabout way… I enjoy reading, so researching new techniques or new ways of structuring relationships can be fun! I also need to know a fair amount about human anatomy for my work, so that has come in handy on several occasions.

28. How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

What I wear runs the gamut from a leather corset over a latex catsuit with 6″ heel boots to… playing totally naked. It really depends on where I’ll be and what I’m doing. Sometimes the venue has a dress code, which I will abide by. That is often defined as “something kinky.” Often one can’t show nipples, genitals, or butt crack at the more public fetish events. At home, I still might wear boots (there can be no boot worship without boots) or latex (I find the dressing & shining process quite erotic) or other kinky clothes. If I’m going to be crawling around on a bed or the floor (if I’m going to do a significant amount of floor rigging or I’m going to be sexing up my play partner) then I am most likely not going to be wearing the boots or corsets. I’m much more likely to be naked or nearly naked. So I’d say that some of the clothing is significant in that it is a kink of mine either directly (boot worship) or indirectly (I love shiny clothing such as latex or pvc), it certainly isn’t necessary for me to enjoy some fun kinky times!

29. Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

I don’t have any attachment to any title. The one quirk I have in regards to titles is not appreciating anyone who isn’t my property calling me master or mistress. Other than that, I am fine with anything from my name to Grand High Mistress of Everything! Though the last one might cause me to burst into laughter. I also don’t particularly care if others want to use titles. As long as they understand that I, and anyone I own, may or may not choose to use them.

30. Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

Sometimes, it’s good to remember things…

Like just because I’m the dominant partner, it doesn’t mean that I get everything I want. Or get to do everything I want. And that’s generally fine. Sometimes I still don’t get what I want because what I want isn’t in the best interest of my partner(s). Sometimes I have to make the call that nobody is going to get what they want because that’s what is best for everyone. Sometimes I don’t get what I want because there simply aren’t enough hours in the day. Sometimes I don’t get what I want because I chose to sacrifice that in favor of getting to have a wonderful relationship that has other benefits than “This person/these people will be able to give me everything I want.” Sometimes I don’t get what I want because physics or nature simply don’t allow for it. Sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. But you know what all those things have in common? I am still the one making the call about whether or not I’m getting everything I want. (Except for the physics/nature issue. And if I could change that, I really would.)

I think it’s ethical if the people doing it are ethical people. Of course, there are no guarantees of this. Just as in every other walk of life, there are jerks, assholes, users, abusers, liars, scallywags, you get the picture. What I don’t think is that consensual inequality in relationships is inherently unethical.

12. Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.

I once accidentally fried the Husband’s cock and balls due to a sub-par electrical device. It suddenly jumped all the way to the highest setting. He was yelling. I was freaking out. It was like some kind of kinky sitcom. After the fact (way after the fact), we laughed about it. However, in the moment it was all kinds of not funny. And the Husband was incredibly pissed off at me. From this we learned NOT to skimp on quality toys.

13. Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you. Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

As best I can tell, I’m just wired this way. I am drawn to these things because I am. I wasn’t abused as a child or any other odd stereotypical tripe that gets bandied about. I grew up in a middle class home with loving parents. I had a boring and normal childhood. I will certainly say that I’m drawn to the possibilities that kink offers for artistic expression & vulnerability.

14. How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?

In almost every conceivable way from the kink porn I’ve seen. The porn fantasy of BDSM/kink usually involves a one-dimensional, aloof, uncaring, inhumanly beautiful, latex-clad Vaklyrie doing exactly (and only) the things that the guy in said porn likes. And then she sucks his dick. While I love latex, consider myself attractive, and can bitch-queen it up as well as the next gal… I’m also much more than just those things. I have more dimensions. I also cry and laugh and read science fiction novels with my submissives. I love them fiercely. I do things with them and require things of them that they don’t like. And we all have lives outside of kink.

15. Post a BDSM/kink activity you are curious about and would like to try.

I have, for years, wanted to try saline infusion. I have specifically wanted to try scrotal infusion. Recently I’d also like to try giving the Wild Thing saline “implants.”

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

I am a sadistic dominant and a fetishist. I don’t have any interest in switching, submitting, receiving pain or being in bondage. I also identify as an owner more than a master, mistress, domme, or goddess. I also appreciate service. It’s a rough combination. Ideally I seek masochist service submissives who are fans of latex and other fetish clothing. You might think these men are around every street corner. I promise you they aren’t. And on top of that, I really need someone who can submit to me on a 24/7 basis. It doesn’t have to be TPE, but it does need to be an integral part of his everyday life to submit to me. So, in short, I’m interested in bondage, dominance, sadism, fetishism, and service. I’m not sure that’s terribly in-depth or interesting, but it’s what I seek when I seek partners.

Day 2: List your kinks

There are way too many specific ways I like to express my kinks. Things like whips and chains and needles. However, I’d say all the activities that I do are expressions my actual kinks. I kink on vulnerability, helplessness, trust, intimacy, and reactions.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Entirely by chance. I had some friends that were kinky and they shared that fact with me. Before that, I had a lot of bad sex and frustrating relationships.

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

As I’m an old codger, it’s difficult to remember back that far sometimes. I will say that I rarely found things disturbing or scary that other children did. I merely found them interesting. But that could also just be my natural tendency to be curious. I did see a movie involving cutting and blood as a child that I’m fairly certain influenced my current love of bloodplay. So perhaps I should have known. But I didn’t.

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?

My first experience was trying to be a good submissive. So it was interesting to say the least. And that pales in comparison to my first sexual experience as a sadist. I picked up a flogger and hit a willing bottom with it a few times. It was electric, exciting, satisfying in ways I had never even dreamed of. There was no other contact. Nobody was naked. It was, to all appearances, quite innocent. But for me it was a sexual revelation. All the joy in my sexual life has unfolded from that single moment.

So… I just want to go on record as saying that I don’t look like this.

Or this.

I don’t.

I love the boots and shoes and shiny “Dominatrix uniform” kind of clothes. So I wear them even though I don’t look like this. I have repeatedly… REPEATEDLY heard about how you have to look a certain way in order to even think about wearing thigh high boots or latex or to let your body show. Usually I hear it when I’m in jeans and a sweater. Because they’ve forgotten that I’m a latex fetishist who doesn’t look like a supermodel. I hear it from men and women. I hear people say it about themselves… “Oh I could never wear that because I’m too big.” It makes me sad. It makes me angry.

I hate that we live in a world where people can’t even wear clothing that they want to wear for fear that people will laugh at them. Or make snide comments behind their back. I hate that people hate their own bodies enough to deny themselves the freedom to wear what they like. I hate that people fear being naked with each other. I hate that people who don’t look like movie stars and supermodels are afraid to let other people touch them because of some perceived imperfection.

Fuck that. I wear latex. And thigh high boots. And I refuse to feel bad about it. I show up to the beach, and I don’t wear shorts or a mumu. I wear a bikini. And if people don’t want to see my big fat ass, then they can always look elsewhere. I wear sandals without painted toes. I sit naked on top of my gorgeous muscular submissives and let them see me and touch my beautiful body. (One of them is particularly fond of touching my belly whenever he can get his hands on it.) I want them to see me and touch me just as I want to see and touch them. If we can’t be naked with our lovers and enjoy each other’s bodies then with whom can we be that vulnerable and unfettered. Intimacy. I can’t imagine my life without it. Or without my official “Dominatrix uniforms.”

He was tired, but he would try on some of the new panties for me anyways. I had ordered 5 new pairs and could barely wait to see him in them. “Which ones?” he asked me. “The purple ones. I was thinking of having you wear them tomorrow and I really want to be sure they fit.” I answered. So he rifled through the packages of lace and frills til he found the purple lacy panties. He put them on awkwardly and turned around. They were a perfect fit and looked amazingly hot just barely containing his package. I was instantly turned on. “Well it looks like they fit.” He quickly removed them and hopped back into bed.

I was trying very hard not to get too worked up. He’d had a very long day and had already told me he was exhausted. He lay there for a few minutes while I tried unsuccessfully to calm down. I was fidgety and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. He opened his eyes and peered at me. “Did you want me to try some more on?” he asked me. “I know you are really tired. You don’t have to.” But I think he heard my desire. “I can try on another pair. Which ones?” I didn’t hesitate. “The red ones!” He hopped out of bed again and began rifling through packages. “These?” He looked a little confused. “No, those are actually pink, the red ones have black on them too.” These??” “No, do you want me to get them?” “Wait, these.” “Yes, those.” He put them on. When he turned around, he was hard and his cock didn’t fit in them any more.

“Well I guess those don’t fit quite as well now do they!” I was even more excited. “Yeah I guess.” He took them off in a hurry and jumped back into bed. “I guess you are getting excited by being dressed up in lacy panties too” I teased him. “No, I’m not.” “Really? You were looking pretty excited to me.” I was dubious. “It’s just morning wood. It’s morning you know.” But it hadn’t been. He was not hard when he put the purple panties on. Nor when he had gotten back out of bed to try the red ones on. I knew.

“Well I guess it’s too bad it’s just morning wood and you’re not turned on. We could have put it to use.” I was goading him. “We could still put it to use.”

“Go put on the boots and the inflatable hood. And the black panties. The tiny ones.” I was already wet. He put the boots on first. Tall and black and shiny. Then the panties. Even smaller than the purple or red ones. They were really only a slight piece of see-through black fabric held together by a few pieces of elastic. They almost didn’t cover him. They were incredibly hot. I grabbed my hitachi as he went around to the other side of the bed for the hood. He slipped it on and zipped it closed as he stood by the bed. Once it was all on, he tried to climb in the bed.

“No.” I said. I was already breathing hard. I started pumping up the hood until it was squeezing his head and making him a faceless creature. “Can’t I get in the bed?” His words were slightly muffled from the breathing tube, but I understood him. “No. You will stand there and you will not move.” He did as he was told. “Why?” “Because I want to look at you while I get off.” He was my thing to dress as I pleased. All in black and faceless. Nothing but an object for me to use as I saw fit. A toy for my pleasure. No longer a person. Merely a faceless object. The object of my desires.

“Stroke your cock through the panties.” I heard him whimper as he began stroking his already hard cock. It was straining so hard against the fabric that I was afraid he would rip right through. But he didn’t. Not even as he stroked more furiously. I came. He said he was close. It was muffled but I knew that sound well. “You may not come.” He whimpered and stopped for a moment. I covered the breathing tubes with my fingers. “Can you smell me?” He whimpered and started stroking again furiously. “Please?” He wanted to come so badly. “No.” I covered the tube completely, making it even harder for him to keep from coming. When he stopped stroking and started whimpering, I uncovered it and let him breathe. As he was standing there gasping, I came again.

“Get in the bed.” I directed him so that he was on top and inside me. He started moving immediately. I used my hands to pump up the hood some more and then cover all the breathing tubes. I squeezed them and let them go, periodically cutting off his breath and then letting him breathe. “You’re so fucking hot.” I loved how hard it made him when I was cutting off his air. He started begging me in short muffled bursts. I laughed at him. “You’re such an easy slut.” He just begged more. “Are you done so fast? Already wanting to come?” He was trembling and shaking. “Please, please let me.” “Yes. Yes you can come, but you better hurry before I change my mind.” I laughed and squeezed shut all the tubes. He cried out as he came and I growled as I did. Again.

I am a latex fetishist. Believe me, sometimes I wish I weren’t. For one thing, it’s expensive. It’s also hard to find and a real pain in the posterior to take care of. But I can’t help what turns me on. And latex does. I love to wear it. I love to see others wearing it. However, lately I can’t go to some of my favorite haunts because they decided to ban latex. And it’s really pissing me off.

Now I understand that some people are allergic to latex. I feel for them! I have no idea what I’d do if I were allergic to latex. I’d be crushed. And allergies in general are not something I like either. I have a few food allergies that could kill me. So I certainly understand. However, I really don’t expect party hosts to ban those foods due to my own personal issue. Because I’m allergic to a food, it can’t be in the house? Ridiculous. If there is food at a party that I’m unsure of, I simply don’t eat it. No need to ban things. We’re all adults and are perfectly capable of avoiding things that we’re allergic to. If we couldn’t we’d be either housebound or deceased. When I wear latex, I’m extra careful not to touch anyone before I find out if they have an allergy or even a sensitivity to my latex. I sit on a towel so nobody has to sit on my latex particulates (thought you really shouldn’t be sitting on something naked, it is rude and unsanitary) and expose their butt to a potential allergen. And if I know it’s going to be an overcrowded party, I minimize the latex to minimize the risk of accidental contact.

I’m probably being much more cautious than I need to be.

Here are a few facts about latex and latex allergies.

The vast majority of people with latex allergies (other than people who work in the rubber industry itself) are in the medical community. They developed allergies due to daily exposure to latex via gloves (containing cornstarch, which has been linked to causing latex allergies) and medical supplies. Though there are others who do have latex allergies, it’s not nearly as common and usually much less severe.

The most common ways to spur a reaction is via direct contact. That’s why I always ask before I touch someone. I don’t want to cause a rash or worse just from giving a friend a hug. You can also inhale latex particles and spur a reaction. This has been documented in people in the medical community when the particulate-laden cornstarch in gloves becomes airborne from snapping it during putting it on or taking it off. It has also been documented from things like blowing up balloons.

Here are a few things that contain latex/rubber that you might not have considered to be potential allergens:

shoes & boots (rubber soles)

the tires on your car

elastic in clothing such as waistbands and socks

the eraser on your pencil

the stopper for your sink

sanitary napkins

your mouse pad

the grip on your pen or toothbrush

the buttons on your remote controllers

your carpet

bandaids and anything containing adhesive

craft supplies such as glue and paste

garden hoses

And that’s not even mentioning things we all expect like… condoms and those big yellow gloves you use to wash your dishes. Why do I mention all this? Well first, I think it’s always good to have more information rather than less. And also…

I fucking call bullshit.

If you are wandering around that party I can’t wear my latex gloves at in those sexy panties (with the rubber in the elastic bands) and I saw you walk in with your sneakers on (rubber soles) and knee socks (rubber in them too) before you got changed for the evening… and you got here in a car (tires, tires everywhere)… and there are all sorts of other things containing latex in the house like the carpet you are laying on naked (carpet, who knew?) that are not causing you to have a reaction…

Then you’re not going to die of anaphylactic shock if my latex-clad ass is in the same house as you are. I just won’t hug you.

I understand severe allergies. I have them. The husband has some too. We carry epipens. But you, my dramatic friend, just want to stir up shit and get attention for something. Anything. It’s a great big pile of fresh, hot, steaming bullshit. I even see the swish of the bull’s tail as it’s walking out of the room. Oh look, there it goes!

It’s not the first time you’ve been dramatic or attention-seeking. By the way… that latex-free party house? Full of latex. I’ve seen latex condoms both in use and in trash cans. Several of the “house toys” are made of rubber &/or have rubber grips. There are several rubber hoods and masks. I know because, as a latex fetishist, I’ve used them. And they were still in the house the last time my non-latex-clad ass went to a party there. So if you’re not dead yet, I think I should be fine wearing my latex. I’ll just avoid you. At this point, I don’t think that would be a tragedy.