Tribeca Film via Everett Collection
Inspired by a league of nontraditional coming-of-age movies, debut director Daniel Patrick Carbone imbued his masterful drama Hide Your Smiling Faces with an originality and emotional purity we don't often get to see on the big screen. The filmmaker discusses the creation of this personal story, drawn from his own life experiences, why it had to be his first feature, and what he hoped to say about life and death alike.
I’m not a filmmaker, but I feel like there’s a lot of specific personal attachment that goes into your first movie. I was wondering if there was a reason that Hide Your Smiling Faces “needed” to be your first movie.
There’s the old adage that your first film is whatever age you are worth of pre-production. So this was like 26 years of pre-production, and your second movie is two or three years, or whatever. I think that’s true, and I think that’s why so many people’s first features are their most personal. And sometimes their strongest, because I think you’re willing to do whatever it takes to get the movie made, not necessarily overthink things, and be the most honest filmmaker you can be at that point — before you get all these reviews, and you’re like, “Oh, maybe I should be changing this. Is this working? Is this not working?”
Some of the films that were big inspirations for this movie, like Ratcatcher and George Washington and countless others, were those [directors’] first films. And a lot of them take place in their hometown or somewhere near their hometown, or a story based on their childhood. There’s a long line of these great first features that are very personal. I think this is, hopefully, my addition to that line of great films that I really like… it was my version of that film.
In some ways, there was no other first feature I could have made. There weren’t scripts I was considering, or anything like that. I was just writing it, and once it was written, I was like, “Let’s make this.”
I know that you’ve had personal experience with what happens in the film. How exactly did that shape you creatively?
The thing is, the movie started out as being very autobiographical. The first scenes in the script were scenes that I would write just because I would remember this thing that happened to me when I was nine, or whatever. And I’d write it down. I don’t keep a journal or anything. My journal is writing a little script idea, or a two-page scene in script format that happened to me. Or that I wished had happened to me. Or that was some dramatized version of something my brother did once, or whatever. So, the script started as 10 or 15 little scenes, not totally connected — not even literally in the same document, just in the same folder of scenes about my childhood.
And then as I continued to realize that these were part of a bigger thing, the theme of death and the theme of loss came up a lot. Obviously the two characters came up a lot. I said that maybe this was something bigger, maybe I should combine these — see what it’s like to read this scene and then this scene and then this scene. And that also influenced the structure of the film. I liked that I was writing it kind of from memory, but also enhancing it because you don’t necessarily need to stay true to it. I wasn’t making an autobiography. So, my neighbor, when I grew up, really did tie my dog to a cinderblock once. [Laughs] Because he kept going on his property. I didn’t go and retaliate, but I really wanted to. So, in my movie, the kids retaliate. So, it’s sort of being able to use your life as a seed, but then not being afraid to make a proper story out of it.
The theme of death came up a lot. The event in the film that sort of starts the film off isn’t exactly something that happened. It’s sort of an amalgamation of times when somebody in my town died — somebody in my high school did pass away, my roommate in college did pass away. Not in the way that you see in the film, but in the same sort of suddenness of it. The unanswerable tragedy of it. The movie was more about having something happen that was similar to what happened to me and would set people off in the same way that I was set off. In this search for something that you’ll never really find an answer to. So, again, it’s not fully autobiographical, but it’s a movie that has events that happen that hopefully make the audience feel the way I did growing up. So, it’s autobiographical emotionally, you could say, but not actually beat for beat in the narrative.
In a lot of Hollywood movies, there’s the tendency to go general in order to relate to the most amount of people — I think when you go specific, when you go really personal, is when it does have the best effect. But were you ever worried about that? “Just because something affected me in a specific way, that doesn’t mean…”
I think you’re right. Some things are so universally relatable that they become kind of grey. There’s no specifics to it anymore. Everybody can to relate to trying to get into college! But that’s actually not that interesting. Because everybody relates to it, it’s not specific enough to raise an eyebrow and want to know more. I tried to balance the line... everything that happens in the film is very specific, but there’s also a lot of ambiguity to the spaces in between the scenes we’re watching. I didn’t want to say exactly what the aftermath of this accident was for the family or for the town or for the police investigation, or anything like that. By leaving the bigger things ambiguous, I think people fill in the gaps themselves. But the reason the want to fill in the gaps is because you’re giving them these super specific things that only someone who experienced it themselves or who heavily researched a place or who spent a lot of time in a place would know.
And those are the things that I always respond to in a character and in a film. There’s the plot of the film, but then what does that person do when they’re alone? What does that person do before they go to bed? What does that person’s morning routine look like? And that’s when I feel like you get the most out of somebody. So this movie, you could argue, is a series of really specific moments in these kids’ lives that have some strong effect on them. But then everything else is left up to the audience. And they’ve all been kids before, and a lot of people grew up in a rural place like this. By giving them these little specifics and then leaving the bigger questions unanswered, they said, “Well, when me and my brother did something like that, my mom would have yelled at us.”
I’ve had people tell me about scenes that aren’t even in the movie that they sort of invented. “Oh, the scene where they get yelled at by their parents for leaving.” That’s not a scene in the movie. It’s insinuated, because everybody’s had that experience. It’s sort of a balance of giving a lot of specifics, but also keeping it ambiguous enough that people can kind of put themselves in the world and remember what it was like to be that age.
But to be honest, when I was writing, it wasn’t something I was thinking about. Maybe it was because I was naïve and I had never made a feature before, but I wasn’t writing to raise money, I knew I would make it for very little money and that I would probably be paying for it mostly myself. I wasn’t sending it out to production companies or producers or trying to build the biggest audience I could. I was just trying to make the best movie I thought I could. A lot of it is luck, I’ll be totally honest. Some experiments that ended up paying off. And now I know! Now when I read what people respond to and talk to people after the film, now I get maybe why the movie worked. But at the time, it wasn’t a totally conscious thing. It was the movie I wanted to make — “I’m not so interested in this, but I am very interested in this” — luckily, other people shared that opinion.
Tribeca Film via Everett Collection
Going back to what you said about the routines of these characters. I remember you mentioning that a lot of the dialogue and a lot of the scenes were sort of in the hands of the kids. I was wondering how much of these two characters specifically that you knew and that you had invented before the movie, or at script level? And how much of that changed when you cast the actors, or how much of the characters came originally from the two boys?
Almost all of the scenes in the film are scenes in the script, but [the script was] always a skeleton. I knew what I wanted the movie to be, and I knew pretty much how I wanted it to start and end — but I wasn’t even totally sure about that. I knew that with a film like this, where the structure is very loose and almost a series of vignettes at times, that I’d be able to shoot everything I wanted to shoot and then also say, “Well, what if we start the movie here? That might color the rest of the movie if you see this first…” Because there isn’t a ton of chronological stuff in the film.
[With the dialogue], I was trying to sort of remember how I talked when I was nine or when I was 14. That, to me, leads to the worst child performances, when they are trying to remember lines very specifically. They end up sounding like little adults, or they’re written so young that they end up sounding not as intelligent as they really are. So I knew that the dialogue specifically would be kind of thrown out the window. We’d always do a take with it, just so they knew what the scene was about. And every now and then there’s a line that does need to lead to some other line later, or something. So we said, “Be sure to say this one line, but other than that, do what you want to do. Here’s what the scene is about, here’s where you’re coming from, this is what you want to get out of him, etcetera.” We’d do my version, and then their version, and we’d usually end up somewhere in between, on take three or four.
But I wanted to give them the ability to be creatively responsible for a lot of the movie. Especially for non-actors, I think they are not coming into it with the training that adults have, to be able to hit marks and turn to the camera, and always give them the best side of their face, and say these lines. I think sometimes it’s best to let kids be kids, and let them stumble on each other’s lines, and cut each other off, and don’t answer if you don’t want to answer. If you wouldn’t actually answer in real life, then don’t answer. If you do say words there, it’s going to sound weird. And if he’s bothering you in the scene, move away from him. If you want to put him in a headlock, put him in a headlock. So there’s a lot of stuff like that.
Long story short, there was definitely a little arc that I knew we wanted to hit. I knew these scenes were going to be together, and this scene was going to be here, and I knew this scene needed to start with this... little details like [Ryan Jones] spraying the cut on his leg. Obviously that was pre-planned, it wasn’t a real cut, things like that. But a lot of the scenes, like the beginning and end of the movie, were just Ryan and Nate [Varnson] being Ryan and Nate.
We would be off doing something else, some sort of film set nonsense, ordering lunch or something, and Ryan would be standing in the rain trying to catch raindrops in his mouth. And I would go, “That’s better than the scene I had written. Let’s go shoot that.” A lot of the most authentic moments in the film feel the way they do because they really were Ryan and Nate being themselves. Bored kids on a movie set. We’d throw them in costume quick and tell them to keep doing what they’re doing, and then we’d make a scene out of it. The script was done, but I knew that 75 percent was going to stay, and for the other 25 percent, I was hoping for these little happenings to occur. Luckily for the movie, they did.
You said sometimes it was preferable when the boys didn’t say anything at all. Do you, as a fan of movies or as a filmmaker or as a writer, respond to nonverbal, or largely nonverbal performances in general?
Yeah, I do. I don’t have any real insight into why. For me, I love Woody Allen films. I love films that are really smartly written, really fast dialogue, things like that. But I tend to respond best to film as a medium when it is mostly visual. Well, visual and audio, but not necessarily dialogue. I think when you watch two people talk — other than in a situation like this [interview], where it’s literally only talking — I think most communication is nonverbal. It’s physical, and it’s through body language. Or it’s through talking about other things, but the subtext of that dialogue is what [they are] really saying to each other.
Films need dialogue, but I think less is more. I think when somebody does speak — like in real life, usually, when somebody finally does speak — it’s more meaningful when it carries a bunch of weight with it. Especially with young kids. Young boys don’t sit down and have heart to heart conversations. They communicate by beating the crap out of each other, and trying to have a power struggle. Or sometimes not being violent to your little brother is your way of being very nice to him. The whole way you judge emotions is totally skewed when you’re a young boy.
Again, the thing that film can do that a lot of other artistic mediums can’t do is combine images and sound in this way. Dialogue, obviously, is needed and sometimes is just as valuable, but I think stories to me — the most compelling cinematic experiences, I’ll say — are when images and sound are combining and I do not necessarily have to follow dialogue. Maybe I just can’t handle three things at once. [Laughs] But some of my favorite films are mostly wordless, because they are more pure to what I think cinema was intended to be, in a way.
Do you have examples?
Stalker is one of my favorite films. Tarkovsky. There is a lot of dialogue at times, but it’s kind of this psychobabble and I think that’s kind of the point. But again, there are 20-minute spans of that film with nothing. 2001: A Space Odyssey. I could go on. I’ll send you a list. [Laughs] These films where I sort of get hypnotized by what I’m seeing and hearing, and I’m not necessarily following a narrative. A traditional narrative. I like characters in a place just being. I like having time to absorb the space and absorb the tone and the atmosphere of the film. And then I’ll take a little bit of plot. But once I’m in this new place, I like to be able to absorb. I think Tarkovsky does that really well. I mention Ratcatcher all the time. I mean, there is dialogue in that, but not as much as a traditional film. A lot of that is kids exploring.
I kind of want to close with my big, obnoxious question. There are countless movies about death. Some would argue that every movie is about death. I was thinking about the movie Rabbit Hole before. That’s another movie about a very similar topic, but done in a very different way. And I like that movie a lot, but there are these big scenes of breakdowns and people talking out their thoughts. And I wanted to know if, with Hide Your Smiling Faces, there was something you were trying to say about cinematic depictions of death. To make a movie that handles death in a way you haven’t seen.
The death side, I was trying to say that the way kids respond, which sometimes is counterintuitive to the way an adult would respond in a situation, is not necessarily any more right or wrong. The adults in this film are not dealing with the situation any better, arguably. There’s the guy who is very religious — not a statement on religion necessarily, but that’s his way of dealing with it. The mother and father sort of take a back seat. They’re not sure what to do, so they become distant. The kids don’t cry, but they still feel... also, the title. You’re told to feel a certain way, society says this is the right way to grieve. But I don’t necessarily feel like that’s true. The movie is more about the idea of a right and wrong way to grieve, and how that is sort of a silly notion. How sometimes, with their raw instincts, are more honest than adults, who have been trained to feel a certain way when a certain event happens.
Hide Your Smiling Faces is available in select theaters and on VOD now.
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Warner Brothers via Everett Collection
There's a whole genre designed to scare the hell out of us — a genre to which we pay particular esteem on Halloween. But even with all the Friday the 13ths and Nightmare on Elm Streets and The Rings (oooh, The Ring...) out there, we still can't help but find terror in a few odd entries in other cinematic categories. Sometimes, movies that intend to make us laugh, teach us lessons, or just take us on whimsical adventures wind up giving us nightmares. Here are a few non-horrors that rattled the Hollywood.com staff in our younger years...
The Pagemaster, Jordan Smith"The Pagemaster, that little Macaulay Culkin movie that hardly anyone remembers, is supposed to be a cute action-adventure story about learning to be brave, but I'm convinced it's really a deeply evil film designed by the film industry lobby to scare kids away from libraries and books. It just doesn't make sense otherwise. There's a moment toward the beginning of the film where Culkin's character is walking around a massive library with thousands of books. All of a sudden, a freaking tidal wave of color chases him around the building. I'm talking about fierce typhoon of evil rainbows that traps him and swallows him whole. That scene scared my little four year old body to the bone. In one fell swoop, The Pagemaster made various colors, running water, libraries, and reading absolutely terrifying. Thanks Macaulay!"
The NeverEnding Story, Casey Rackham"Nope. No thank you. Not for me. I don't know how old I was when I saw The NeverEnding Story, but I know that I watched it on VHS… so I was too young to see this scarring so-called children's movie. I don't remember too much about the plot of the film, but if I'm being honest, I don't really care to. It's bad enough that I remember 'The Nothing': a threatening void of darkness that consumes everything in its path. At that point in my life, the biggest, baddest villain I had met was Cruella de Vil. She's scary, but not nearly as haunting as a black hole of evil. Next up is the 'Swamp of Sadness.' (Come on, why would you name something that?) In possibly one of the most heartbreaking scenes of my childhood, I helplessly watched as Atreyu failed to save his horse who sunk to his death in quicksand in the Swamp of Sadness. And finally, even the character Falkor, a luckdragon that was supposed to be a wise guiding light throughout the movie (and who you were supposed to love), gave me nightmares for weeks. There's just something about a creature who is half dog and half dragon, has flaring nostrils, ruby eyes, and who can 'swim' through air that isn't right. The whole movie gave me a visceral reaction, so no, I would not suggest it to anyone that doesn't want to be entirely wigged out."
Drop Dead Fred, Michael Arbeiter"It was the early '90s, an era during which I spent a lot of after school time watching movies and television with the sociopathic neighbor kids the Rosens. While their tastes usually led us to simply disgusting fare like Ren &amp; Stimpy, we were treated one day to a video viewing of what I would later find out to be Drop Dead Fred. I made it through only one scene of the movie — that in which the title character, a ghost or an imaginary friend or something, squeezed his own head in a refrigerator door. The other kids found it hilarious... I was mortified. For years. In fact, it wasn't until over two decades later that I'd even bring myself to Google the right combination of words to find out what movie it was that enforced upon me such trauma. Not a horror at all, I learned. A kooky, weird comedy. One that I will never watch again. And, needless to say, I don't talk to the Rosens anymore."
Balto, Alexa Smail"Balto, the heroic story of a dog who saved children, right? Wrong. In my childhood, the animated Disney flick was one of the most terrifying movie experiences ever. While, now, I'm not exactly sure why it was so scary, I do remember a giant black bear with eery yellow eyes and a bunch of mean wolves who tried to hurt the sweet and cuddly Balto. There were also a bunch of avalanches, some deathly sharp icicles dropping on the animals, and all the town kids dying from a weird disease that only kills kids… Ok, so maybe I had some good reasons to be frightened, Alaska seemed pretty freaking gruesome."
The Jungle Book (live action version), Julia EmmanueleLike most children, I was obsessed with Disney films growing up. As long as a movie has animated characters and some upbeat musical numbers, I was on board. When I was about five, while looking for a new movie to rent from my local Blockbuster, I came across the 1994 live action version of The Jungle Book. I'm not sure if I thought it was actually the animated film, which I loved, or if I just assumed that this one would also be lighthearted fun involving singing bears, but I convinced my mom to rent it. Once I sat down to watch it, though, I quickly found out that actual jungle animals don’t sing Louis Prima songs, and are actually quite terrifying. It only took about 10 minutes before I began screaming and crying hysterically, presumably because I thought that the panthers were either going to kill and eat Mowgli, or come out of my television screen and attack me. There was one scene in particular, in which the panther pounces on its prey, and I threw such a fit that my mother had to come in and turn the tape off. Not only did it take me forever to calm down that day, I refused to watch Disney's Jungle Book for years afterwards because I thought that the scary panthers would be in that one too. To this day, I've never seen past the first 10 minutes of the live action Jungle Book, but I hear it's a great film.
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Anime legend Hayao Miyazaki has earned international renown through films like My Neighbor Totoro, Ponyo, and Spirited Away. This year, the filmmaker is returning to the big screen with Kaze Tachinu (The Wind Rises), a fictionalized biopic of aircraft designer Jiro Horikoshi. Horikoshi is most famous for having engineered the Zero Fighter plane flown by the Japanese during World War II.
This week, Miyazaki's Studio Ghibli released the first teaser footage from Kaze Tachinu, and it looks great. While showcasing Miyazaki's classic animation style, the clip also revamps it with an even brighter burst of color than we've seen in his past work. Unfortunately, our Japanese is rudimentary at best, so we have no idea what is actually being said... Still, there's no doubt that this is a movie about an aerospace engineer — the 30-second clip shows a birdlike airplane take flight and soar over vibrant green pastures.
The soft mandolin music is a nice touch, and the image of a woman painting under an umbrella in windy field is reminiscent of Monet's Woman with a Parasol. Kaze Tachinu is scheduled for a July 20 release in Japan, and it's unknown when it will hit theaters in the U.S. For now, we will have to content ourselves with this small piece of what's promises to be another anime masterpiece from Hayao Miyazaki.
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More:Future of Anime Remains Bright Despite 'Speed Racer' Failure'Princess Mononoke' Too Adult for America?'Princess Mononoke': Hayao Miyazaki Interview
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Channing Tatum Is Worried About Justin Bieber. In an interview for Vanity Fair's July issue, the Magic Mike star and new dad talks about fatherhood, study drugs, and the effects of fame. Tatum referred to the downsides of becoming a celebrity at a young age, noting that "whatever age you become famous, you end up staying that age." He then specifically expressed his concerns about the world's most famous teen star, Justin Bieber:
"I worry about Bieber, man. That kid's wildly talented. I hope he doesn’t fall down into the usual ways of young kids because it’s so hard for someone to be responsible when they're not asked to be. We're not asked to do things ourselves. You have someone there with a coffee. 'You want food? I'll get you food.' I put my bag in the trunk yesterday—I can't drive here—so my driver, great guy, Terry, amazing, I call him T-Bone, I drop my bag in and left the trunk open. And I get around to my door, and I'm like, 'What the fuck am I doing? That's not my behavior.' "
Tatum is not the first celebrity to express concern for the Biebs. It seems like every actor, director, musician, and athlete has tried to offer advice to the young pop superstar:
Miley Cyrus: “I noticed he was taking all these photos of people and doing a lot of s**t, and I just grabbed him and said, 'Just take a snapshot in your brain of this moment, so you don’t forget.'" (E!)
Joey Fatone: "Don't be a douche. That's plain and simple. You get this bug from the celebrity thing, where you're very on top of the world and everyone's 'yes sing' you to death, so you're like "I can get away with this. I can do that." (Huffington Post)
Nick Carter: "Stay healthy and just treat people good, you know what I mean?" (On Air with Ryan Seacrest)
Mark Wahlberg: "I think it's best to put down the phone and Twitter and all that stuff, and just be a little more low-key right now. Because they're watching every move he makes, everything he says, and less is more. Go take a vacation." (Vulture)
Judd Apatow: "You don't need a monkey. That's a good rule of thumb for show business: you don't need a monkey." (Buzzfeed)
Alice Cooper: "Justin, just as a note of professional rock &amp; roll, never turn your back when you throw up. Let the audience see you throw up…because that's a moment they're gonna remember. Make sure the lights are on when you throw up." (Rolling Stone)
Olivia Wilde: "Bieber, put your f**king shirt on. (unless you lost all your shirts in a fire in which case my condolences and please purchase a new shirt.)" (Twitter)
Former NFL running back and Bieber neighbor Eric Dickerson (on the young star's driving habits): "@justinbieber needs to slow his ass down" (Twitter)
Bon Jovi (on Bieber's late arrival to a London concert): "You're an a**hole. Go to f**kin' work!" (London Evening Standard)
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More:Update: Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Have First ChildJustin Bieber Announces New Single 'Heartbreaker': Who Has He Left Brokenhearted?We Need To Talk About Justin Bieber Abandoning His Pet Monkey in Germany
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The question is not did you scream both times beloved characters returned to The Vampire Diaries during the show's epic prom episode, "Pictures of You." No, the question is how loudly did you scream? Like, were your loved ones scared for your safety? Did a neighbor knock on your door to make sure you were alright?
Let's look at these chronologically. Now, we all knew that Jeremy's death was permanent. But since this is The Vampire Diaries, we clung to the hope that one day, in a season or two, our Young Gilbert would return in some form or another (flashback, vision, who cares?). Little did we know it would happen so soon.
But it was a little disappointing that it was Bonnie who saw Jer, first in dream, then in person (a.k.a. Silas in disguise). How, time and time again, does she get tricked by Silas? Girlfriend should be skeptical of EVERYTHING, especially when her dead ex-boyfriend returns to slow-dance with her at the prom. Thankfully, she snapped out of it eventually. And, realistically, she probably knew it was Silas deep down, but she didn't really have much closure from Jer's death so she allowed herself to believe it for a few fantastic minutes.
The second return might have even been more shocking, though. We knew Tyler would reappear at some point this season, but who would've thought it would be in Mystic Falls — while Klaus was still around? It was the most romantic gesture he could pull, and since Caroline is the best, it's nice she got such a lovely present. It's also nice that Klaus again gave Tyler a head start before he got to murderin' purely out of his love for Caroline.
As great as those Forwood scenes were, though, the Klaroline ones could've been even better. The fact that Caroline confided in Klaus when Elena stole her dress, no matter how trivial the request (for a gorgeous vintage gown), means she's slowly but surely warming to Klaus' affection — in a realistic way. It definitely doesn't feel forced.
Oh, did you want to talk about the Delena/Stelena situation? Damon and Elena shippers might not have been so happy when Damon tried to DTR his fling with Elena, and she was all like "hell no you aren't my boyfriend!" (Damn you, Silas!) But anyone can appreciate how sexy Stefan trying to seduce Elena into remembering her humanity really was. The whole "killing Elena with kindness" plan didn't really work, though. To Plan B it is!
Or, actually, Plan C — Damon noticed that Elena was actually scared when she almost died, so the new plan is to terrify the hell out of her (fear is a human emotion, after all), until she reclaims her humanity.
A very special mention to our Prom King, Matt Donovan, who shared some sweet moments with Rebekah as she tried to live her prom night as a human so Elijah would give her the cure. I mean, he was kind of a jerk at first, but then realized he was being a d-bag and sort-of apologized. Plus: slow clap for Rebekah, who finally, finally got to go to a school dance. Congrats, girl! You did it!
As warm and fuzzy as all the bonding moments between characters were, it's kind of misleading to highlight that without mentioning how much murder almost happened, too. I suppose that's because this is Mystic Falls and murder is like their no. 1 industry, but still. Silas as Stefan confronting Damon, Klaus giving Tyler a five-second reprieve, Elena taking a chunk out of April's neck, Bonnie trying to kill Elena — a lot of close calls during prom!
The end of the episode gave us our first sort-of glimpse at the real Silas. Spoiler: he's totally busted. But he has been in a crypt for a billion years, so that's probably to be expected.
Next week, the Originals head to New Orleans for their spin-off episode, which looks amazing. And why wouldn't it be amazing, considering it's got three of the best TVD characters, including the real king, Elijah.
What did you think of prom? Mystic Falls High sure has a high budget for school dances (possibly higher than McKinley High's glee club budget).
More:The Top 5 Prom Episodes 'Vampire Diaries' Needs to Live Up To'Vampire Diaries' Recap: Elena and Elijah, Sitting in a Tree'The Originals': Sneak Peek at the 'Vampire Diaries' Spinoff
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The Season 6 premiere of Mad Men starts with a nasty trick. The episode begins through the perspective of a man lying on the ground, looking up at the ceiling while someone beats on his chest. In the background you hear Megan, Don Draper's wife, screaming. We're so used to seeing this world through Don's perspective we think, "Oh, Don Draper had a heart attack." Immediately it flashes back to him and Megan on the beach in Hawaii and you think, "Oh, we're going to find out how Don ended up having a heart attack." But later in the episode we learn, well, it wasn't Don at all, it was his doorman, who he, Megan, and their cardiologist neighbor watched have the cardiac arrest. What a dirty, stinking trick.
It feels like a bait and switch: we're supposed to think that Don is in danger of dying when he's not in danger at all. But it isn't a trick. It is Don's perspective. In fact the whole episode, like so many in Mad Men history, is staring toward death — with Don gazing in that direction not only because of the ill doorman but also because he is, once again, searching for identity.
Last season we saw Don struggling against his natural impulses. After marrying Megan and chasing his happiness, he came clean with her about who he is and his dark past. He was trying to integrate Dick Whitman and Don Draper and become one fully-formed healthy individual. By the end of the season, when he walks away from Megan and was eyeing that other woman in a bar, he had clearly failed. This season seems like it is going to be about his relapse, about the cost of his failure or, even worse, his sinking into irrelevance.
This episode, however, was all about artifacts. We see each of the four major characters we follow in the premiere – Don, Roger, Betty, and Peggy – each dealing with their identity, who they are and what the world thinks of them, and what objects from other people, dead or alive, have left them.
Like Greg Brady with the bad luck Tiki god, Don Draper finds his artifact in Hawaii. The first sequence of the show is very odd, showing Don and Megan in paradise and he's enjoying himself, but totally silent, conspicuously so. It's like he can't speak when he isn't being his authentic self, when he's playing the role he thinks he's supposed to. This is the same Don Draper who left his daughter's birthday party to go sit and drink alone in his car.
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The first time he speaks is to tell the soldier at the bar that he was in Korea, and to speak honestly about himself. When the drunk grunt asks Don to walk his soon-to-be wife down the aisle at his wedding, Don says, "You don't know me. One day you'll regret it." But the soldier says that one day he will be just like Don, a "veteran who can't sleep and talks to strangers." Though Don didn't start the conversation, what is his job other than "talking to strangers." Don puts aside his existential declaration that no one knows him (there is a lot of everyone not knowing anyone in this episode) and officiates his wedding, another moment of what seems like real joy, a moment of true love, even though Don rails later that the word is being overused and spent of its meaning.
Later, when he's back in his Manhattan apartment, when the slide of the ceremony comes up he can't talk about it to everyone else in the room. He is once again back to being inauthentic. (And, of course, notice the difference between Don's presentation with the carousel in this episode and his presentation with the carousel in Season 1.) Originally he was powerful and persuasive and using his own experience to win over the clients. Now he's entirely silent and no one wants to buy his experience.
Don's artifact, of course, is PFC Dinkins' lighter, which he and Don mistakenly switched at the bar. This time he has taken on another soldier's identity by accident, unlike the first time when Dick Whitman stole Don Draper's identity on purpose to achieve the American dream he always thought he was promised. Don thinks about taking on the soldier's identity, a soldier who is violent, impetuous, and stupid, all things that Don is not. He throws the lighter away, rejecting this new identity, but Megan brings it back to him. She proves that Don can't be his true self with her, she wants him to maintain an alter ego, whether it's Don Draper or this new PFC Dinkins, a man who gets sloppy drunk and asks inappropriate questions of strangers. Megan doesn't want the real thing, she wants a fake. Don eventually gives the lighter to his secretary and says to send it back, without a note. He wants to distance himself as far from this man as he can, no matter the joy he might have brought him on the beach. For Don it's more important to be honest and grow into himself again than take someone else's identity.
Don is also struggling with the inscription on the lighter. "In life we often have to do things that aren't our bag." Don's initial life with Betty were all things that weren't his bag – having the wife and kids and settling down in the suburbs. He rejected that motto to find happiness with Megan in the city and that wasn't his bag either. Don seems to have internalized this motto, but rails against it, selfishingly doing the things that are right for him even if they harm other people.
It seems like things at work aren't Don's bag these days anyway. He hates that the photographers are there to take everyone's pictures and they rearranged his office. He hates that he has to, once again, put on a facade for the public. The photographer tells Don to just be himself, but he can't. He no longer has any idea what his self is. He stands in his rearranged office thinking back on the waves of Hawaii as the snow falls, and you can't help but think of that falling man in the opening.
Later when presenting to the clients he gives them a presentation about a man who goes to Hawaii and is transformed, he just disappears into paradise (which seems to be Don's new fantasy about how to gain happiness). The client ask Don where the man went. "He jumped off," Don replies, once again recalling that falling man from the opening credits. Everyone thinks the guy killed himself, something Don didn't even realize he was telegraphing, something he might not have even considered as an option, until now. Is Don destined to be the one who falls off the top of the building, like people have always thought he is?
Things at the office aren't going well. Not only is there the strange interloper Bob Benson (who seems to be serving some dark force with a smile on his face), but Don no longer holds his sway with the clients. When they don't like his presentation, he gets forceful, explaining himself frantically, using his old penchant for getting aggressive to get results. But this time it doesn't work. He caves and tries to give them what they want; anything to prove he still has it, he's still a genius. Even that doesn't work. He has failed, and not only has he failed with his vision, he even failed with a compromised version of it. Don is struggling with everything, not only his sense of self, but his creative vision.
Don Draper, being Don Draper, is also having trouble at home. How do we know? Well, he doesn't care much about Megan or what she does or what she has to say. She's off having authentic experiences (working as an actress, going hunting for weed in Hawaii) while he's moping around with his white people problems wondering about what is going to happen to himself after he dies. Boo-hoo.
He's also sleeping with his neighbor's wife. We first meet Dr. Rosen in Don's elevator and it appears like they have a loose friendship. There's something about Rosen's skill as a doctor that intrigues Don, that he has somehow mastered death. It's like he has a real gift, a real profession, not just serving corporate shills by captivating the public's desires. Of course Rosen wants to be Don, a good-looking, confident man who can get anyone to do what he wants using the power of his persuasion. They both think the other has it all. Don offers the man a camera and, more importantly, his friendship, but the shock is that Don is sleeping with his wife all along.
Like always, Don's dalliances aren't about sex, they're about escape. They're about bucking against the norm and hoping that the feeling he creates through sex will somehow allieviate his anxiety about life. (Rosen even says, "People will do anything to alleviate their anxiety.") Yes, Don isn't sleeping with Rosen's wife because she's attractive (which she is) or he's in love with her, she has been reducted to an object of her own, another artifact. He's sleeping with her so that he can try to steal some of Rosen's magic and possibly inject it into his own life. He's fighting against being himself by trying consume another man's life yet again.
It's not working. He tells his new playmate, "I don't want to do this anymore," but he doesn't mean sleep with her, he doesn't even mean cheat on his wife in general, he means he doesn't want to have to deal with yet another existential crisis. He just wants an answer, he just wants any answer. Sadly, he's not going to find it from any of the other characters.
Roger's story, of course, is about death. Duh. It contains two dead people, him sitting in analysis mockingly pleading for his doctor to explain it all, and he's fretting that he thinks that life is just a meaningless series of experiences, doorways that are boring to open. Roger, like Don, has also fallen off the path to enlightenment. Last season he took LSD, divorced his wife, and was looking toward the future to try to find something worthwhile (Season 5 ended with us staring at his bare ass as he embraced the world). Either he's off that path or not finding it has put him right back where he was in the first place.
He's chasing after another comely brunette (who we don't get the pleasure to see) and pining after Joan. Maybe she's what will make him happy? It would have made the rest of us happy if we had seen a little bit more of her in the episode.
Anyway, Roger has two reilcs. The first is the water from the Jordan River his father brought back for his mother that was used to baptize almost everyone in the family. While freaking out at his mother's funeral (I would too if someone had barfed in the umbrella stand, but his outburst seemed a little over-blown), Roger makes the ultimate Freudian slip and says it's "my funeral." His ex-wife Mona comes upstairs and suggest maybe he would be more happy if he connected to the people who already love him rather than chasing after another one.
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That's when he goes downstairs to talk to Margaret. He brings up the family and presents her with this artifact, but all she wants her grandmother to leave her is money. Roger wants to talk about love and she only wants to talk about commerce. Already the water is losing its potency, Margaret didn't use it to baptize her son and, after her conversation about refrigerated trucks (not a bad investment at all!) she leaves it behind on the couch. She doesn't want a bit of the past, she doesn't want a bit of Roger, all that she wants is money and the future it can buy her.
Later Roger is looking for a shoe shine but his shoe shine man has died. His daughter sends along his shoe shine kit to Roger who takes it into his office and finally cries after feeling nothing about the death of his mother or Mona having found a new man in her life. This is what makes him cry. A shoe shine kit. Sometimes it feels good to let it all out, even if it's over some chemical soaked box.
The important thing about the artifacts in the episode is that they aren't good as objects, only instruments that people are willing to use. If, like the water and the shoe shine kit, they're not being used by someone then they're just so much junk, but, like Sandy's violin, when they're being used, they're the things that connect us all to each other.
Now Roger doesn't have any connection to anyone and it's starting to wear on him. He mentions being shipped out of Pearl Harbor (it's startling how three men in the premiere are all defined by their wars) but his cohort and his mother are dying off. Even the old ways are dying off. There's no one to know how to use a shoe shine kit and Roger is completely obsolete, left with nothing but some worthless junk, a bunch of stories no one wants to hear, and a room of women he's disappointed. He doesn't need analysis, he just needs something better to do.
As I said before, Betty's artifact is Sandy's violin, at least initially. Her relationship with Sandy is interesting in that everything that Betty says is defeated by her actions. Oh, our Betty, still a little bit fat (but she's "reducing!") and completely out of touch with herself. She is constantly defending her choice to stay at home and be the pretty wife and mother of increasingly ungrateful children, but that's what she never wanted at all and she has always fought against it. It's as if it's easier to propogate a myth than actually change.
That's why she's trying to find Sandy and why she holds onto Sandy's violin, since it is a symbol for the dream Sandy has for a better future. Anyway, Sandy says she wants to take off to New York and live an exciting life and Betty says that her life as a model in the Big Apple wasn't all that and she should wait until she's ready Later, when the hooligans at the St. Mark's flop house tell her that they "hate [her] life as much as [she] does," she fights against them. She tells that they are awful and she storms out, ripping her coat. Even being there she is changed, the fabric of her existence very literally sullied by her being in the tenement. (Anyway, they didn't hate her "goulash" all that much though.)
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But she leaves the violin there. Sandy is already a lost cause and Betty knows it. During her kitchen scene with Betty (which is about as touching as ice cold Betty ever gets) Sandy says, "It's amazing how quickly some people come up with lies." We all know that applies to Betty, but it applies to Sandy as well, who lied about Julliard and where she was going. She is going to turn out to be just like Betty, another girl disappointed by her options in life, someone who will defend her choices even as they make her miserable.
There is also something about Betty that wants to destroy Sandy. The younger generation is making the older characters increasingly nervous, but Betty seems to be the only one to wish harm on the younger children, when she makes that really inappropriate joke about Henry going to rape Sandy while she holds her down. That's the only thing that I can think of to explain her shockingly inappropriate comments, delivered with a smirk so small they seem to be entirely serious.
In the end though, Betty's real artifact is her hair. Like Don and Roger, this is something she is doing to try to be more authentic. This is, of course, a direct reaction to the hooligan calling her hair "bottled" when he reads her real color is brunette on her driver's license. She doesn't want to hide anymore. She wants to be the real Betty who may be a bit chunky and have brown hair, not the perfect Barbie doll everyone told her she had to be for Don (and look at how well that turned out anyway). Ironically, her new hair color is just as manufactured. She didn't let her roots grow out, she is just trying to cover up the new facade with the old one. Of course the kids hate it. The kids will always hate everything their parents do, especially when, like Bobby, he is faced with the reality behind the illusion that his mother has always sold to him. She is now "ugly," and he sees it for the first time.
Peggy, of course, is the exception that proves the rule. If we are looking at Don and how far he has fallen since the first episode, look at how much Peggy has risen. Her artifact is the lost footage that she found and, unlike everyone else, she can interact with that footage and use it to make beautiful music, as it were. She can shape it into something that is great, and that is what makes her different from the other three. This is Peggy's moment like Don's with the slide projector all those years ago. She is finally, truly ascendant.
And while she's is using strategies and tools that she learned from Don, she has also found her own strategies. Last season, when she went all Don Draper on the Heinz baked beans people and tried to force them to take her idea, she was shot down. Now, when the earphone people don't like her solutions to alter their aborted Super Bowl ad, she finds a way to get them to agree to let her do her job by being nice and courteous. While everyone still considers her part of a "frat," she has found a way to be both a woman and an executive at the same time, using a more subtle tactic that would have made a man look weak.
No, Peggy isn't far away from Don at all and she stays up late at night with Stan on the phone, still in close contact, letting him listen in on her big triumph. It's as if it doesn't really happen for her unless there is a way for it to get back to Don. And as much as she wasn't like Don with the client, she was just like him with her staff: stern and demanding but, at the end, giving them her sandwich and showing a bit of care. It was a classic Don Draper move.
But still, she isn't entirely confident with the power. Later, Ted, Peggy's boss, tells her that she has to tell the rest of her employees to go home. "They're not waiting for me?" she asks incredulously. Why would all these people be paying attention to her, trying to prove to her that she's a good worker when that's still all she wants is someone else's approval: Don's.
Peggy, unlike all these other people, is actually happy. Her sense of self-worth comes from her work and being great at her job. She doesn't see why these kids wouldn't want to be at work on New Year's Eve because that's just where she wants to be (I wouldn't want to be with her boyfriend Abe either, considering his vegetarian diet is giving him the trots).
Peggy is the younger generation that everyone is afraid of but, being part of the establishment, she is separate from it. When she hears about the Tonight Show stand-up act about the soldiers in Vietnam who cut the ears off their enemy, she blames the act for ruining her commercial. She doesn't blame the soldiers for doing something immoral and violent, she blames the "hippie" comic who brings it to the attention of the public. She is firmly on the side of "the man."
Though she may not be on the same page as her peers, she is the only one of the cast who is active and vital, the only person who is interacting with her object in a way that is bringing her happiness. That either makes her incredibly power or incredibly delusional, waiting for an awakening that may or may not happen. But one thing is for sure: Peggy is in control while everyone else is not.
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[Photo Credit: AMC]
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"Umm, Joe?" I call out meekly. His office is so cavernous my voice actually echoes, which is cool. "Yes, yes, please come in." God, that dulcimer tone. Panty-dropper! Joe has already made his way to the liquor cabinet. "Brandy?" I hesitate, which he senses — looking me up and down like a gastropub menu. "It's 11AM but sure, why not!" "Splendid!" He pours — slowly, methodically. I'd be annoyed with the extreme protraction with which he does every. Single. Thing except he's just so sexy. You lose yourself in his —
"So Roderick says you have a question or two for me, is that correct?" I nod. "Well, let's get to it, then! Joey and I are making — what did he call them? — yes, ants on a log this afternoon. Mustn't be late." It's very true that he's got a lot of parenting work to do. I clear my throat:
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"Some of the other Followers and I have been talking, you know? And I guess, Joe, what we're wondering — we want to know what it is we're actually doing? Like, what our mission is?" He looks me over again, slowly and vaguely perturbed, like he may need to update his contacts prescription. I sense I should say more. "Not that we're not thrilled to be here just hanging out, making good friends. Last night's Settlers game was off the charts fun."
More staring. Then: "Quite right. I must say, Ha—Henning?" He got it! Joe knows me! "Henning, one…needn't divine the misty beyond for want of proper earthbound foot. Do you understand?" I absolutely don't, but I assume Joe is quoting Po— "That's Poe, from his short story 'Soft Steps on the Embankment'. Have you read it?" My GOD I can't stand P— "Marvelous stuff. But I digress. What Poe is saying in that particular work is—" Joe's looking at his watch, trailing. Then he shakes to life. "My goodness gracious, look at the time! I must be going." He heads for the door. "Have we put those fears of yours to rest?" Definitely not. I smile. "Splendid!"
ANNNNND SCENE. Joe was obviously quick to brush us off, what with needing to go turn his son into a mini-murderer, but Follower Henning's question is one that bears repeating (and answering): what exactly is Joe's "Following" up to?
Let's make an important distinction here. We are not demanding character-irrelevant answers in the vein of LOST, needing to know "what the four-toed statue means" or "by what quantum physics theories can a frozen donkey wheel effectively unmoor an island from time and space?" (Come on, nerds!) Nor is this just impatience with the particular speed at which The Following's writers have chosen to dole out this first season story. Plenty of similar shows have opted for the slow burn (hello, Breaking Bad!) to great effect, and in such a way as to give the audience exactly the right information needed, episode to episode.
But The Following — I mean, it's called "The Following." The show is named for this group of people! And 11 episodes in, with four left to air, we only have a muddled sense as to a) who these people are and b) what it is they're aiming to accomplish. That's not mystery; it's a fundamental story problem. For a few episodes, at least, the wanton acts of violence felt…if not fresh, then at least unpredictable. Which is great as far as beginnings go! But sooner or later unpredictability becomes predictable, Joe's tight lips become the writers' tight lips, and it's near-impossible to keep caring. Are The Followers even serial killers anymore? The weapons cache and "training center" Hardy and Parker found their way to last night suggested maybe terrorism is more their speed. Or hell, they could be a Furry splinter group. No one knows.
Yes, there's clearly a growing schism between Joe and his #2 Roderick, who's been tired of all the personally-motivated plots generated since Joe's escape. But why not NAME that schism? It would hardly nullify our sense of The Following as a group of dangerous killers; if anything, it would heighten the intra-house drama Kevin Williamson is clearly aiming at. And, help us to identify (as much as possible, anyway) with these people we're spending 15-21 minutes with each week. Maybe it's just the amateur Follower in me acting out, but I'd really like to feel more like a part of the group. That's all.
"Whips and Regrets" divides its attention between Claire, recently arrived at Following HQ; and Hardy, putting the FBI's recent hardcore Googling to use as he tracks down the Following server (really!) and subsequently tails one of the militia boys we met last week. Keeping in line with the way she's been handled so far, we learned nothing more about Claire, or Claire's relationship with Joe, or Claire's hopes and dreams, or anything Claire-related in any of her scenes. Mama looks great in a slinky black dress, it can't be denied, but I'll tell the writers what Jacob told Claire: "You've gotta make an effort!" Natalie Zea might actually die of boredom onscreen if she's not given more to do soon. And considering half her lines have been about her son, with whom she was just reunited? TICKING CLOCK, EVERYBODY.
There was such an opportunity last night, too, to delve into the whys and wherefores of Claire's relationship with Joe. What was he like when they met? How does she cope, generally, with the fact that she shared a home with this serial killer? Those are valid questions! Instead: "You're crazy, you know that?" (We ALL know that.) And she seemed frankly cool with Joe's response, in which he explained — for the first time? — that he's got a "disease" he needs to deal with. By, you know, stabbing everyone to death. My only explanation is they had great and extensive couples counseling to get to this point.
Hardy followed up (LOL) on the FBI's crack web research from last week by hitting the titular "Whips &amp; Regrets" S&amp;M club/bar which, coincidentally, was right down the block from Hardy's apartment. It's a lonely Friday night — what else are you gonna do? He and Parker caught up with the establishment's owner, Hailey, who admitted to being involved with one of the Militia boys, Vince, who had come after Claire. Did they…date? "No. We just flogged each other." Girl, we've all been there.
Using Hailey as bait, Hardy lured Vince back to Whips &amp; Regrets for a package pickup (literally a package pickup, you sickos, not the other kind) which quickly went south. Maybe the weird guy who tells Roderick he "just wants to be friends" and barks — dog barks — at club patrons on his way to see Hailey and, oh, is in The Following is slightly unhinged? But it all worked perfectly for Hardy who, reneging on his promise of protection to Hailey, used her to tail Vince — hopefully back to Follower HQ.
Instead he led them (and an accompanying SWAT team) to a new location, some bunker deep in the woods. "It's a training center… for killing" Vince explained to Hailey. "People must be conditioned before they can be trusted." Then he found the wire on Hailey and was NOT happy.
THERE'S YOUR CUE, HARDY! Running in to defuse the situation, our man found Hailey tied up in a chair and Vince, nowhere to be found. Hailey took the moment to chew Hardy out for allowing her to be kidnapped. Don't you understand your role in this episode, and the larger Following story, Hailey? Come on. And anyway, you're distracting from the real revelation/new plot wrinkle here: The Followers are hoarding explosives, with the possibility of some "big op" on the docket. (Please refer to our question from earlier: are these guys serial killers? Terrorists? Crazy partiers?) NO TIME TO THINK ABOUT THAT, THOUGH — another member of the SWAT team who tagged along stumbled on three people deep in the facility, seemingly held hostage. I say "seemingly" because duh, they were Followers, which didn't work out so well for the SWAT guy. Basic Law of People Encountered on This Show: If they might be in the Following, they are probably in the Following. Everyone got that? Hardy? You're gonna want to think about it soon, trust me!
The post-mission ambulance check-in is quickly becoming my favorite part of each episode. Hardy and Parker get to reflect on the events of the episode, make a few snide remarks about cultists and literary studies, and tally up — in case we missed it — the body count of their latest mission. Last night, that was 2 SWAT dead, along with the three "victims" who'd been sprung. Maybe you're not wrong about that trail of dead you leave in your wake, Hardy? Certainly it's not unfounded.
Right, Molly! The redhead ex-girlfriend of Hardy we met via flashback last week was filled in a little more. She was, it turns out, always in the Following — assigned to Hardy on Joe's orders. And now, post-breakup, she still lives in the same apartment building as the guy. They do it, occasionally. It's cool. So of course it's no surprise to find her waiting for Hardy on his return from the armory. She collected his mail while he was away, like any friendly neighbor would. Hardy, as always, is the last guy to know anything.
One more flashback: "When it comes time to kill [Hardy]…I get to do it." I doubt Joe would really agree to that, sweetheart, but the enthusiasm is great! Keep reaching for the stars!
Four episodes left, people. Could the show squeeze in another crazed ex-girlfriend, or would that disrupt the carefully-crafted believability of this universe? Will Joe bake a pie with Joey, cementing their fractured relationship? Will Roderick run out of Followers to take out his aggression on? Tune in next week!
[PHOTO CREDIT: Giovanni Ruffino/FOX]
Follow Henning on Twitter @HenningFog
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Happy almost Thanksgiving TV Lovers! While many people have been stuffing the turkey, baking pies and preparing for an awkward weekend of bumping into your old high school friends—“Oh hey… you! Wow. You’re still working at Target? That’s nice…”—I’ve been busy whipping up a healthy heaping of spoilers for you! And they smell delicious! (Oh honey, please stop sniffing your computer. I was just kidding and someone, somewhere is silently judging you right now.) In this week’s home-cooked edition of Leanne’s Spoiler List, I got all the American Horror Story: Asylum answers you’ve been craving from Zachary Quinto and convinced Dexter’s Jennifer Carpenter to dish on what’s next for Deb’s love life. I sautéed up some scoop on the upcoming CSI/CSI: NY crossover special and I’ve got all the delicious details on what’s coming up for Glee, The Mindy Project, and Ben and Kate! Pull up a chair and put on your stretchy pants because y’all are about to be stuffed with some calorie-free spoilers. Dig in!
1. American Horror Story: Asylum: Heroes v. Horror
Last week’s reveal of Bloody Face was a terrifying and jaw-dropping shock for everyone. The fact that my beloved Zachary Quinto (as Dr. Thresdon of course) could commit such horrifying acts was a hard thing for me to handle as I peeped at the screen through my fingertips. Luckily I was able to chat with Quinto last week via a conference call and his sweet voice and thoughtful answers were almost enough to make me forget the terrors that wont leave my brain. Almost. This week’s episode, “The Origins of Monstrosity,” will give us a deeper and darker look into the patient’s pasts of Briarcliff as well as shed some light on Thresdon’s serial killer tendencies. While I can’t fully reveal his motives, let’s just say that Dr. Freud would hit the nail on the head when suggesting that Mommy issues are to blame. Quinto explains, “I think part of being a psychopath is an ability to dissociate from one reality and create another one completely. I think he does that expertly… He could have made a more significantly positive contribution had he only rechanneled his traumas, his energy.”
Many TV lovers like myself know that Quinto is no stranger to playing the evil one. For years on Heroes he was the baddest of bads when playing Gabriel Gray, but Quinto says that he prefers AHS’s unique character development that all takes place neatly in one little season. “[American Horror Story] is just more rooted in character and relationship, and less rooted in the sort of peripheral elements like superpowers. I liked that this was grounded and real. It’s something that I’m always drawn to is that kind of direction… it’s not a six-year commitment as it could be with another show.” A few other nuggets about tonight’s episode: We finally learn the fate of our horrified honeymooners (RIP one of them…) and there’s a new killer introduced. Let’s just say that when this new psychopath isn’t murdering people, she really enjoys playing dress up and having a tea party with her dolls. Creepy!
2. Dexter: A New Love for Deb?
Holy crap Dexter! You know just how to tug on our heartstrings while simultaneously making us cringe with incesty vibes, don’t’cha? Sundays episode was flawless when Deb dropped her “I’m in love with you!” bomb to her serial killing brother and everyone is asking the important/obvious question: Now what?! To get you the goods, I recently sent one of my spoiler fairies out to New York to catch up with Jennifer Carpenter at the premiere of her new movie, Ex-Girlfriends. (I had a date with my DVR and it would’ve been oh-so rude of if I ditched Stevie my TV at the last minute.) Carpenter says that Deb’s emotional turmoil and confusion over her feelings for Dexter (Michael C. Hall) have greatly evolved. When talking about last season’s first inkling to loving her brother, Carpenter said, “She never actually said that she’s in love with Dexter. She thought that she was and she wanted to know as much [as she could.] and I think that was also a tool that writer’s use to sort of pace her piecing the puzzle together of what it is that he does.” Now that Deb has actually confessed those powerful three little words to Dexter, Carpenter warns that this knowledge will dramatically shift the dynamics for the rest of this season. “I think that the new information sort of trumps those feelings that she was having. Not sort of. They absolutely do.”
Since Deb has opened the Pandora’s box of awkward secrets, we pressed Carpenter to see if she thinks that Deb can ever move past this sibling super crush and find a new (less murder-y) person to love. The actress smiled, “For once, I mean this is all just me speculating, but I think that now that she is claiming her life as her own, if she is ever going to meet love, it will happen now.” Squee! Fingers crossed that she wil have a happy ending. But speaking of endings, Carpenter recently revealed that she would be a-okay if Deb were to die at the end of this final season. “I don’t want this life [for her].” She stressed. Well that’s completely understandable, who would? But the biggest question is would she rather Deb’s death be at the hands of her brother? Carpenter was quick with her answer, firmly saying: ”Hell no.”
3. Ben and Kate: Smile for the Camera!
To me this show has it all. It’s funny, quirky, cute, and it has one of the only child actors—the lovely Maggie Elizabeth Jones—that I don’t want to ship off to a far away foreign land. (Yes, Modern Family’s demon-spawn Lily I’m looking at you!) I love the fact that Ben (Nat Faxon) and my TV bestie BJ (Lucy Punch) don’t coddle Maddie. They’re brutally honest with the their pint-sized pal and it makes for a refreshing and hilarious sitcom dynamic. So you can imagine my extreme delight when I snagged the following scoop: Maddie and BJ have a squee-worthy storyline together in an upcoming episode—12 to be exact—called “Bake-off.”
While Kate (Dakota Johnson) is off getting her flirt on, a casting agent in a restaurant mistakes BJ and Maddie for a mother-daughter duo and encourages them to audition for an upcoming commercial. Genius. One thing leads to another and the two attempt to dazzle the director at a casting call, but of course in true Ben and Kate fashion, the audition doesn’t go as planed and hilarity ensues. Let’s just say that Maddie’s catwalk skills may not be quite up to par. Not to worry Maddie, I’ll still love you! (FYI: If Ben ever enters Maddie in a Toddler and Tiaras type competition, I’m pretty sure my heart will explode from excitement. I'm not kidding.)
4. CSI: Crossovers and Corks
There’s something oh-so special and exciting when a long-standing show like CSI decides to shake things up a bit. This February fans can prepare to feel the love because CSI and CSI: NY are staging a special 2-part crossover. Plus there’s even more exciting news for shippers of the New York series! It looks like things between Mac and Christine are going to get even sweeter as the season continues. In the episode entitled, “In Vino Veritas” Mac (Gary Sinise) will head out to Las Vegas for a little romantic get-away with his lady Christine (Meghan Dodds) but his love-filled weekend is quickly destroyed when he realizes that not only is she missing—she’s been kidnapped. So Mac enlists D.B. Russell (Ted Danson) and the rest of Las Vegas CSI team to find her.
The drama continues in the second episode when D.B. heads back with Mac to the big apple to help track down the kidnappers and determine whether or not Christine is alive. (Side-Note: Please TV Gods let Christine be okay! Mac can’t handle another heartbreak like this!) Somehow tied into it all, fans will also watch the team crack the case of the murder of a Mr. Davari. The deceased was a wine-dealing delinquent who used to auction off counterfeit cases for millions of dollars. But who did it? The prostitute? The waiter? Or the guy who got conned out of a small fortune for some high-priced grape juice? One thing I do know for sure is that I take wine very seriously, so I can’t say that I’m going to be particularly heart-broken knowing that this fictitious criminal will be laid to rest.
5. The Mindy Project: Hey There Neighbor!
Would you like to meet the newest lady of The Mindy Project? Of course you would! We’re soon going to meet Maggie, Mindy’s friend from college who also happens to live in her same apartment building. What a coinkidink! Maggie is the typical overachiever: She graduated from Princeton and moved straight onto the Teach For America program to lend her skills as an educator. How noble! I already like her very very much.
On her first assignment in the P.E. department, Maggie discovered that her tomboyish qualities had plenty of room to shine, so she decided to become a full time gym teacher. Unlike Mindy, Maggie is wildly confident, totally comfortable in her own skin and completely fine with the fact that most people assume that she is a lesbian because of her job. Damn stereotypes. In reality she’s quite the man-eater! Maggie has plenty of handsome suitors knocking at her door and hopefully she’ll be able to share some of her dating secrets with our leading lady.
6. Glee: Spandex and Sweater Vests
Remember a few episodes back when Blaine (Darren Criss) went club crazy and signed up for pretty much everything extra curricular? Well get excited glee-bees because this week’s all new episode give us a more in depth look in to the coolest club of all: The Secret Society of Superhero’s! “Dynamic Duets” features some of the funniest (and sexiest) super hero costumes I’ve ever seen. My top 3 would definitely have to be Tina’s Asian Persuasion, Brittany’s Human Brain and Kitty’s Femme Fatale. Girl power! Despite being socially immersed in all things McKinley, Blaine still feels lost without Kurt (Chris Colfer), and the lure of perfectly stitched Warbler blazer is tempting our former bow-tie lover into another potential school switcheroo. Klaine fans will also get some answers surrounding Blaine’s heartbreaking indiscretion with this mysterious Eli that we heard all about in “The Break Up.”
Fun-Fact: When I first saw Finn (Cory Monteith) in this episode I seriously had to do a double-take! I understand that Finn has taken over for Mr. Schue while he’s gone, but it looks like he also decided to raid his closet too. If Santana (Naya Rivera) saw him in these sweater vest and plaid shirt combos, she would most likely pass out from snark-overload and then—upon regaining consciousness—she would go off on a 20-minute verbal attack. Of course it would all be in good fun because we know that Santana and Finn are clearly buds after she came to save the day in Glease. (Side-Note: But seriously fingers crossed that something like this happens down the line because I truly miss our lovely Latina’s word-induced whiplash.) After fumbling at first, Finn quickly finds his footing (via spandex) and we get to witness some truly delightful duets. Kitty and Marley FTW!
Bonus Scoop! Looking ahead, the powers-that-be at Glee are currently searching for a new leading man named Paul. (Not the cutest of names, but I guess I can look past it…) Paul is a fella in his mid-twenties and is described as being “handsome, confident and extremely charming.” The new mystery man is set to appear in episode 11 and it’s safe to say he’ll become a familiar face on our TV screens. But just who will this new beau be charming? It seems like Rachel (Lea Michele) has her hands full right now with teacher’s pet Brody, so the next logical assumption would be that this is a new potential love-interest for Kurt. I personally don’t want that to happen so this is my counter speculation: give him to Quinn (Dianna Agron)!!!
What do you think is going to happen on Dexter now that Deb has spilled her steamy secret? Excited for the hilarity that’s coming up on The Mindy Project and Ben and Kate? Who do you think this “Paul” should be romancing on Glee? Tell me everything in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
—Additional reporting by Lindsey DiMattina
[Photo Credit: FX, FOX, CBS, Showtime]
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I’m addicted to many things: Coffee, shiny objects, teacup piglets (how can you say no to this face??), caramel, Sour Patch Kids, Diet Coke, and cinnamon candles, just to name a few. But the cherry on top of my almost dysfunctional sundae is of course television. In this week’s edition of Leanne’s Spoiler List, I chatted with a former Once Upon a Time princess, Jessy Schram, to see if the glass slippers still fit and gossiped with Revenge’s Christa B. Allen to get all the “twisted” details on what’s coming up for the Graysons. Not to mention Jane Levy told me all about Tessa’s upcoming romance on Suburgatory and the new drug of choice in Chatswin. Plus, I got an early glimpse at what’s coming up next on The Walking Dead, and Ben and Kate, to get your heart a flutter for all the upcoming awesomeness that will eventually come to a TV screen near you. Ready, set, spoil away!
1. Once Upon a Time: If The Shoe Fits…
At the beginning of last season, ABC’s beloved fairytale drama reintroduced the world to the Princess Cinderella—aka Ella for short—and her Storybrooke counterpart Ashley Boyd. Since the show’s return, many fans have been hoping to see Ella, her hubby Prince Thomas, and their sweet baby girl Alexandra return to their TV screens now that the curse has been lifted. (They were Snow and Charming’s best friends after all…) To help get some magical answers, I spoke with the princess herself Jessy Schram to see if a return to Storybrooke is in her near future. The ABC actress exclaimed, “There is most certainly a possibility!”
“The second season is going so strong on it’s own right now and there are so many characters…but if a storyline came up I know that they wouldn’t mind sharing me and giving me back the glass slippers.” Squee! Just imagining another girls night complete with Ella, Snow, Ruby, Belle and Emma makes my heart all warm and fuzzy. Schram playfully teases, “There’s always a possibility, nothing is unknown in the land of Once Upon a Time.” Now if we could just somehow get the huntsman to come back in the same episode, then I’m pretty sure I would hyperventilate with happiness for at least a week. P.S. Exciting news for Once Upon a Time fans! I am leaving for Vancouver early next week to visit the set of Storybrooke and interview the cast! Send me all of your bewitching questions in the comments below, or feel free to pass along your enchanted tweets to @LeanneAguilera
2. Ben and Kate: Low Heat Lovin’In next week’s episode of the hilarious freshman comedy "Operation Crockpot" is officially underway! What the heck is that, you ask? Well Kate (Dakota Johnson) is still beyond interested in her ridiculously hunky next-door-neighbor—played by FOX comedy veteran Geoff Stults—but she wants to take things slow and let the romance simmer at a steady pace. No need to rush into anything when you’ve been on a small 57-month hiatus from sex, right? But of course Ben (Nat Faxon) is ready to stir things up and cause a mess in Kate’s kitchen of love. (Side-Note: Can anyone tell that my tummy is rumbling right now?)In between his quest to find a fun and spirited new job in time for Maddie’s (Maggie Elizabeth Jones) career day, Ben looks to the desperate housewives of his neighborhood to get all the gossip on Kate’s potential new beau. But my absolute favorite part of next Tuesday’s episode was learning that sweet little Maddie has got quite the way with words. You won’t believe her creative yet terrifying technique she uses to stop being teased on the playground. Warning: Don’t mess with Maddie or you may have severe nightmares.3. Revenge: A Hamptons HoneymoonNow that the Graysons have re-tied the knot—complete with a name-inspiring wedding dress and a super romantic police search of their home—it’s time to freak out wonder what’s next for the Hampton’s royalty. And there is no one better to help answer this question then their own on-screen daughter Christa B. Allen. In a recent phone interview I chatted with Allen about this season’s crazy over-the-top plans for Victoria (Madeleine Stowe) and Conrad (Henry Czerny) as a couple. Allen explains, “One of my favorite aspects is just how twisted you see Victoria get, and then Conrad in response to her. These are two people who have the sickest motives at heart. The way they use each other to get what they want, and then pit everybody else towards each other as well is just sick. and you can’t decide whether it’s coming from a place of love or sheer vindictiveness. You really can’t tell." The actress adds, “I still don’t know!“One thing we do know is that Conrad is once again in hot waters for the alleged murder of Gordon Murphy—crazy white-haired man. (Damn Emily you’ve still got it…) But Allen warns that you should never underestimate the lengths that Victoria and Conrad are willing to go to maintain their perfect facades. “The fact is that they are both two very strong individuals with very different agendas. In most cases the only one stopping them from getting what they want is each other, but they can only do it together. Apart, they’re nothing.” Looks like those new wedding bands are definitely not coming off any time soon. 4. Suburgatory: Getting High on LoveRemember back a few weeks ago when I told you that Tessa would be getting a football-playing fella? Well I just chatted with our favorite out-of-place suburbanite Jane Levy about her new beau and I’m just bursting to share the details. (Pssst! In case you couldn’t already tell, I love this show.) So what’s coming up for Ryan (Parker Young) and Tessa? Levy gushed, “They start dating! And like pretty soon too.” Last week fans saw an adorably sweet moment between the too and Levy says audiences can get excited for a “really really fun” upcoming episode. In a pretty uncharacteristic move, Tessa tries to fit in more with the Chatswin kids—the football girlfriends to be exact—even though their priorities in life could not be more opposite. Levy explains, “She tries really hard in this episode to fit in and make Ryan happy and just be nice and accepting and not judgmental or preachy, but she just sort of can’t help herself.”Tessa’s new friends are more like high school versions of Stepford wives and Levy laughs that it doesn’t take long for Tessa to crack. “There is a really funny moment where she’s up in the middle of the night with all these football girlfriends making banners and everyone is hungry and tired.” So what is their secret to staying so perfectly perky you ask? “They get through the night by sniffing their sparkly pens.” Levy reveals with a laguth. (My brain is so torn right now. Drugs are of course bad but I’m drawn to anything with glitter.) Luckily, it seems that Tessa is going to have stronger willpower. “She just can’t take it anymore” Levy says, “And Tessa turns into a little Norma Rae.” Anything involving a Sally Fields reference is amazing in my book!5. The Walking Dead: Do Not Eat While WatchingThis show seriously scares the beejeebers out of me (I’d like to thank Jimmy Neutron for embedding that term into my vocabularly) And I can only imagine that out of all the apocalyptic worlds, being a survivor on Walking Dead must be by far the worst. You lose limbs and family members, have to subsist on old canned food, and sometimes have to hang out with Carl. But you know what must really suck for TV-philes like us? Not being able to curl up in front of the tube for our favorite stories. This week’s all-new episode shows us what the citizens of Woodbury do to replace our modern entertainment — and to say it's brutal and disturbing is an understatement. Word to the wise: Do NOT eat anything while watching this episode unless you really want to see it come back up again later. (Sorry for the visual. But seriously, gross!)Now on to what really matters: Rick (Andrew Lincoln). After his wife Lori’s (Sarah Wayne Callies) unbelievable death in last week’s tear-jerking episode, many fans are still in shock—and so is Rick. The widower is absolutely inconsolable and channels his loss and anger into a full-fledged rampage. His weapon of choice this week? An ax. And believe me when I say, I have never been more excited to see so much blood flying through the air. If this is his way to cope with the grief, then I say go for it and take no prisoners! As for Rick and Lori’s baby? He/she (you’ll have to watch to find out the sex) is perfectly fine, just very very hungry.Would you like to see Cinderella return to Once Upon a Time? Excited for the upcoming hilarity on Suburgatory and Ben and Kate? Intrigued to see how Conrad and Victoria are going to overcome their latest hurdle on Revenge? Tell me everything in the comments below! Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera[Photo Credit: AMC, ABC, FOX]MORE: Leanne’s Spoiler List: Love is Brewing on ‘Glee,' Lucy Hale Scares Up 'PLL' Secrets Leanne's Spoiler List: Zachary Quinto Makes His 'Asylum' Debut, 'Glee' Goes Black Swan Leanne’s Spoiler List: Thrills and Kills on ‘Pretty Little Liars’, ‘Glee’ Adds a New Twist From Our Partners: ’Twilight’ Stars Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson Hop on Private Jet in Matching Outfits (PHOTOS) (Celebuzz)
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So that's who Nate is! Five episodes into this first (and unlikely last, if recent ratings are any indication) season of Revolution we're finally given a reason to care about the character formerly known as "Nate." Because now he's Jason, and Jason happens to be the son of Giancarlo Esposito's Tom Neville and Neville's just introduced wife, played by Kim Raver. The web of interconnectedness is almost too much to bear right now, especially on a show that killed one of its main characters last week, but I'm confident these relationships and personal histories will all begin to make sense. I mean they have to!
But first: sword fights and stabbings and botched train explosions, in no particular order.
There are worse series you could emulate than Lost. Say what you will about its wacky later seasons -- the show remained, for the most part, grounded in character unlike even many non-fantastical shows on television. One of the ways it accomplished this was by focusing an episode (or series of episodes) on one particular character. And Revolution did just that tonight with its look at Neville's pre-Blackout life. Back then the man was…well, more a guy, a nerdy guy, and exactly the type who would be fired from his bank job for "being too kind." He was no more assertive at home, either, too quick to back down his neighbors played their music too loud. What Tom Neville needed was an uber-masculine punch to the gut. And he got it with the Blackout!
Fast forward six years late to a time when Neville is beating the s**t out of floppy-haired Danny and lecturing him on fighting etiquette. This is our TOM OF THE PRESENT, a no-nonsense soldier of extreme prejudice who would steal the lunch money from his former self if he got the chance. What happened to his wife and kid? (Hold on, we'll find out soon.) Over the course of the episode we see more and more just how ill-prepared Tom was for this massive world change, and the very significant ways in which it set him on his path today.
Back at Team Rebel Alliance, Charlie and Nora paid their respects to the recently deceased Maggie while Miles insensitively urged they keep moving. "Crying's not gonna help!" he said with almost cartoonish disregard. Is there a chance he'll learn to be more empathetic over the course of his time with his estranged niece? We can't possibly know for sure.
TRAIN. Miles and Co. hear the sound of a train ("That's gas powered, right?" I brilliantly ask myself) which brings our divergent threads together: Charlie, Miles, and Aaron attempt to find Danny before Neville can escort him, via train, to Philadelphia and Sebastian Monroe. Oh, and Nora's kind of itching to literally blow the whole thing up.
Or let's clarify: Resistance member Nora, utterly dedicated to the cause of militia destruction, has determined that in her grasp is the chance to take out several key members of the Monroe Militia. To that end she finds her way to another Resistance member, Ken "Hutch" Hutchinson, who might help her build a bomb and TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS. She finds the man at his printing press, churning out copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Because people of the future are just as keen on reading children's literature as they are today? I KID.
Neville and Charlie finally cross paths, the former tuning almost immediately to the fact that he's speaking to Danny's sister. But before you can say KNIFE FIGHT, Miles has intervened and knocks Charlie to safety. If someone is going to die tonight, he seems to suggest, it's going to be at the end of my multi-purpose sword. Miles asks about Danny. Neville replies, "So that's what I'm gonna do, Miles? Spread my legs and show you everything?" Cool analogy, Neville!
Another flashback tells us that shortly after the Blackout hit, Neville was forced to step out of his "nice guy" role and into one of protector, and defender. When his neighbor breaks into the house he shares with his wife and son, Neville struggles to fight… but then overpowers the intruder. And sort of bludgeons him to death. NO MORE MR. NICE GUY, INDEED, NEVILLE.
Because Revolution is, for better or worse, the kind of show that clearly delineates its current HIGH STAKES PLOT ISSUE before each commercial break, we're soon left with the following scenario: Danny is on the train to Philadelphia with Neville, Nora and Hutch have placed a bomb disguised as kindling near the fuel room, and Miles and Charlie ride to a) save the former, and b) disarm the latter. Sounds pretty clear-cut to me!
Luckily for our heroes, the train appears to be run exclusively by Neville and 1-2 other Monroe lackeys. Miles is able to find and toss away the bomb (which does explode!) while Charlie almost frees her brother. Before she can, though, she's bested by Neville… and thrown from the train by Nate. Who, again, we come to learn is NEVILLE'S SON. The scales have dropped from our eyes and it all makes sense now.
Wrapping up: Miles apologizes for not "being the uncle he once was" but promises he can try again after they walk to Philly and he kills his best friend, Sebastian "Bas" (nope!) Monroe. In a truly Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring-esque ending, Charlie rallies her remaining troops to continue the search for Danny. Things are bad, it's true! But dammit if they won't continue their mission and find Danny after all. It's what Samwise would have wanted.
…OH, and Rachel (Charlie and Danny's mom, currently being held captive by Monroe) reveals to her captor that the key to restoring the power has something to do with the pendants/USB flash drives that we saw momentarily power the farmhouse a few weeks ago. In true video game fashion, there are TWELVE of them… and all must be found in order to unlock the mystery. Looks like we've got the rest of the season — and maybe the series — mapped out for us!
[Image Credit: NBC]
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Synopsis

Two-part episode in the dramatizations of Inspector Morse mysteries by Colin Dexter, featuring the cranky, beer-tippling Inspector Morse and the ever-loyal Detective Sergeant Lewis. Morse and Lewis are called in to investigate the mysterious deaths of two Oxfordshire neighbors murdered only 24 hours apart and with the same gun. The investigation leads them into the hothouse atmosphere of the election for Master of Lonsdale College, over which the malicious retiring master, Sir Clixby Bream, still presides. Also in this episode, Morse's first name is revealed.