Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt!"?

The dinasours extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree.

I didn't say it was your fault...just that I was going to blame you

You can blame all your problems on my two imaginary friends "Steve" and "Candy". They don't mind.

I'm not random, I just have many th- OH LOOK A SQUIRELL!!

Copy and Pastes :D I GOT FROM xPAIGE TURNERx

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a wall, door, window, or people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.If you hate Homophobia then copy and paste this on your bio.

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

THEY HURT HER

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore thisREAL FRIENDS: Will repost this.

you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise-versa copy this into your profile.

If you and/or your best friend are insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy this into your profile.

If at first you don't succeed, lower your expectations.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever (almost) taken over the world, but were distracted by something shiny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)

If you've ever been so obsessed with a TV or Movie character that you scare everyone who knows you, join the club, and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile (Kingdom Hearts... Final Fantasy... Anime... Manga...) GO NARUTO!! (Twitch)

Sicence prvoes taht eevn wehn the wrods are srcabmled up you can sitl raed tihs. Cpoy and Psate tihs itno yuor porflie if you can raed tihs.tihs is so fkneairg asomwe!!

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

I'm Sorry

I'm sorrythat I bought you rosesto tell you that I like you

I'm sorryThat I was raised with respectnot to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorryThat my body's not ripped enoughto "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorrythat I open your car door,and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorryThat I'm not cute enoughto be "your guy"

I'm sorryThat I am actually nice;not a jerk

I'm sorryI don't have a huge bank accountto buy you expensive things

I'm sorryI like to spend quality nights at homecuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorryI would rather make love to you then just screw youlike some random guy.

I'm sorryThat I am always the one you need to talk to,but never good enough to date

I'm sorryThat I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorryThat I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorryIf I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorryIf I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorrythat you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorryIf you read this and know somebody like thisbut don't care

But most of all

I'm sorryFor not being sorry anymore

I'm sorryThat you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorryI can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is goodenough to make it in your world.

I'm sorryI caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorryThat I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorryThat I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm SorryThat I cared

I'm sorrythat I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

"How about a wager. If you don't like me after one hundred surprise kisses, then I have to do whatever you want me to do for a day. But if you do like me," the fox grinned. "Then you have to wear something for me. We have a deal?" Judy looked at Nick's outstretched paw. This would be the easiest bet she ever made. "Deal." Cover art by charliebarkinq on tumblr

When Professor Ozpin sent Qrow Branwen into the out-lands, searching for a mysterious creature which had been decimating Grimm numbers, Vale's darkest Huntsman never expected to find a young man wandering Remnant's loneliest paths. And he certainly didn't expect to find potentially the strongest Huntsman in generations...even if he is a little bit broken.

Three years as friends, Judy has been thinking about Nick and her as, hopefully, something more. Nick is concerned for his Cute bunny, something has her distracted. Even before the incident. A two week vacation, after an incident, is just what these two need.

Jaune wasn't exactly Blake's type, but giving him a hand was the least she could do after he helped her out... it didn't have to mean anything - no matter what Yang implied! Also would Ruby cut it out with the knowing looks, I'm just returning a favour! Blake x Jaune realistic romance, focused on their times at Beacon Academy.

Fortune has always favored Harry Potter, but she is a fickle mistress and often takes just as much as she gives. Follow Harry as he fights to fulfill his destiny after the path that was planned so carefully for him is shattered by those with only the best of intentions. Sometimes when one door closes another opens, other times you have to make a hole. -AU and content notes inside!-

Bella has a little accident in Phoenix, causing her to escape to her fathers little hideout, Forks. There things doesn't exactly go to plan, but is that necessarily a bad thing? AlicexBella. Slightly AU.

Percy was a mistake within a mistake but he doesn't know about it yet. Her mother tried to hide it longer but when he met his new guardian, things change, the truth was out creating his own twisted reality. He then unknowingly saves an unusual twelve year old girl who turns out to be the maiden goddess of the hunt. AU. Eventual Percy/Artemis.

After he left, there was no reason to continue. Depression has lead to Bella's suicide, but it does not hold the blissful conclusion she wished for. After watching her own funeral, and considering her options for an unknown afterlife, Bella begins a journey that will lead to confusion, an enlightenment, and the unexpected in many forms.

While chasing the last remnants of the Death Eaters still loyal to Voldemort, Harry is unexpectedly thrown back in time to the start of his fourth year of Hogwarts. This time round, things are going to be a little different. Harry/Fleur pairing.

A gift from Sirius leads to Harry discovering his duty as a Potter and discovering his one true love. Molly and Ministry bashing Possible Ginny bashing H/Hr Harry is almost a jedi with jedi like abilities.

An all human fanfic. About going into the first year of high school. Fax will slowly be added throughout the story. Fang and Max are close friends since birth and after a long summer, finally are able to see each other but things have changed. Cliche.

In a bizarre lab accident Artemis creates Ajay, a real living and thinking person who lives inside Artemis' head. When Ajay does take a form, it's an exact replica of Artemis and even Butler can't tell them apart... Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl. On hiatus until continuing chapters are written.

A collection of Ichiruki AU one-shots, from gory angstiness to fluff OD. Ratings and genre vary by chapter and prompts are welcomed. Chap. 8: It takes him seven. Seven minutes to wretch himself away from the sight of her, get up from the queen sized bed of his, walk up to her and kiss the living daylights out of her. But he doesn't.

When enmity between two civilizations causes Harry to save a young girl's life, a bond forms. When a dangerous task causes Harry to save another girl, another bond forms. These bonds put him on a path that could change the world. Harry/Fleur/Gabrielle

AU- Rukia, an angel, is sent to the human world for one month as a requirement for her to become a High guardian angel. She is taken in by Ichigo Kurosaki, a human. They fall for each other but Ichigo is hiding a dark secret. Is he really human? Ichi/ruki

Set during New Moon. Jacob decides to take what he wants with unforseen consequences that affect Bella and the Pack. What happens when the Cullen's return and Bella finds herself unable to be seperated from Alice? Bella/Alice

Harry & Hermione become friends before school starts. McGonagall is their only ally and Dumbledor's attempts at manipulation drive them to leave Hogwarts and resume school at Beauxbatons. AU story and canon will mostly be ignored. Rating changed to M.

Max is a leader of a Gang in her town. There are 5 major gangs that rule it. Fang is the leader of "The Flock." Max has two lives one at school and at home, and one with her gang. What happens when a gang leader transfers to her school? FAX/NIGGY T PLUS

This is a story about what happens when the Chief and Cortana are saved. Cortana is falling into rampancy, but there is a way to save her. This action will forever change Johns life. Old friends and enemies return. A new fight must be finished. Game is M.

Bella moves to Forks and meets her destiny... I don't own these characters, and this is my first post - so please be gentle. Bella/Alice - don't like, don't read and a BIG thanks too everyone who has submitted a review. **Story Completed** August 2014 Update - Sequel "Enigma" work in progress :)

What if Lily has survived the attack at Godric's Hallow and raised Harry on her own? Changed rating to T. Reposted chaps 1-41 with small minor changes. Officially On Hold for the time being. See profile for more info.

Max was killed on her and Fangs wedding day, leaving behind the flock. Now a year later Fang has the chance to save Max, but will she ever be the same? (Please note there is a much better updated version called "Goodbye my Angel" coming out soon.)

Max and the flock visit Forks, and they find some very unusual people living there. First ever fanfic, so it might be bad. BEFORE MAX 5. maxride/twilight xover please R&R! Started by Leonard Twi Potter, continued by Zoe625.

Sometimes no one sees what's right in front of them. Various characters discover & react to a certain surprising relationship. Used to be a oneshot called "What Remus Expected." A series of related oneshots. Rating for implied sexual situations.

complete, finally! Co-written with dark phionix! AU, takes place at the end of Eldest. Eragon and Arya are to pass one last test given them by their mentors Brom and Oromis. They are to lose some sight and power, venturing into our world. They are sent to a school for the blind... More info inside.

Slash xover After killing Voldemort Harry wants nothing more than to sit back and enjoy life but when the wizarding world turns their back on him he has to run or be imprisoned. So, Remus's Aunt Marianne helps him escape. ch3 expanded

Artemis is sick with a deadly diease. Every Move he makes slowly kills him. The faeries dont know of this, only Butler and the Fowls. Artemis is looking for the cure, yet even the faeries have yet to find it. Opal is trying to kill everyone. HollyXAF

In First Year Harry Potter saw a crying girl at Kings Cross, Join them as they board the train to a new life and watch as they save a Rare Stone, Learn of a Secret Chamber, Save an Innocent Man, Win a Tournament, Start an Army of their Own, and Win a War. Year 1 Done(All Chap's have been Edited)! Year 2 Begins Now!

Warning spoilers! The Eldunari, a dragon mind and soul can be stored within. but when Eragon dies Saphira does the unexpected and has serious repercution's. EragonxSaphira ExS A/N: temporarily on hiatus while I rethink parts. will update ASAP

Max always lived a semi normal life, but when she meets the mysterious Fang and his group of friends her life is flipped upside down. With him she is put against tasks that she never thought she would face. Will her love prevail? or will her life crumb

AU Post-OoTP: Harry decides enough is enough and he decides to train. Will it be enough to stop Voldemort and his Death Eaters? And will Dumbledore finally help Harry achieve his destiny? As Harry's powers grow, will it lead him to darkness?

Harry Potter's life has never been easy. Things happen to him that would drive other people crazy. Is it any surprise that he needs to save the world, AGAIN? Cannon acknowledged and accepted, but not. H/Hr.

After the death of his godfather, something wonderful happens to Harry and now his eyes are open to Dumbledore's manipulations. Watch as Harry takes the fight to Voldemort on his own terms with the knowledge of the founders to help him. HarxHermxGinxTonks

Immediately following the Department of Ministries incident,Harry is upset to learn that The Daily Prophet has omitted Luna from the list of DA members who helped. He comforts her and realizes his feelings for the Ravenclaw cutie. Please R&R first Fanfic!

It's been months since the Cullens left Bella in forks, when Alice returns after Bella's cliff accident, will Bella be able to forgive Alice for Abandoning her. Bella/Alice femslash -----Set during New Moon!

Okay so the flock has defeated Itex no ones after them and they just moved into a house on there own 3 seventeen year olds, 1 fourteen year old, 1 eleven year old, and 1 nine year old. THINGS COULD GET INTERESTING!FAX!REDOING STORY NEW chapter 1 up now!

The Flock lands in Forks, Washington. They have no home, but they rarely fight for their lives. Sorry about the summary. It isn't the best. The story is better that the summary... JAX Part Two started.

Max and the Flock have a huge fight and Max leaves for good. Four years later she meets the Flock again. Now she's stronger and more cold-hearted. Can she forgive the Flock after what they did? Co-Written by Inherigirl! Some Max/OC-Max/Fang.

Alternate version of my story Life after Death where Arya becomes the new rider. Saphira's magic saves Eragon from a near death experience, also changing them both for the better. Eragon has to learn to live with a new him, and a new Arya as well. !ExA!

I hummed the tune and smiled as the calm feeling flowed through me. I slowly started to play my guitar. The melody sounded just about right. I took a deep breath and began to sing. . . SongFic! All human! Max's life as a human! FAX! Plz R&R! Thanks!

How would young Harry James Potter's life have been if he didn't have parents who loved him, but his brother, The-Boy-Who-Lived, Ryan Potter?Where he lives isn't the only thing changing. REWRITTEN UNDER: Shadow Keeper: Rebirth

Post Book 4. Galbatorix is dead and Eragon is faced with different challenges. Where will he go to after being banished from Alagaesia? Who will the 3rd egg hatch for? Arya has feelings for Eragon but will it work? Era/Arya. Pls R&R! Brisingr spoilers...

Post OotP. Harry inherits more than gold from Sirius and his parents. Now he must train to fight Voldemort while fighting against Dumbledore's manipulations. Full Summary inside. Slight Dumbledore Weasley bashing. Review!

At age eighteen, Max got pregnant with Fangs baby, But leaves because Fang slept with another woman. Two years later, Max finds the flock while she and her daughter are shoping. Will she ever forgive Fang? Rated M for later chapters.

What happens when Holly becomes a human and she has to go back to high school with Artemis? Well you'll have to read to find out. No flaming! Chapter 14 in progress still! I am soooo sorry for the wait AxH

Harry Potter grows up on Privet Drive, where he is neither loved nor hated; rather, he is treated with indifference. Will his relentless pursuit of knowledge allow him to defeat the Dark Lord? Will he ever be able to live the life he desires?

Max looses everything for them. But now, after everything, she finds herself buried in Forks, where she remains due to her Mother. In this world of secrets, will Max be able to hang on to hers? After StWaOES and Breaking Dawn.

Artemis is suffering from a bizarre illness that might be fatal. When Holly comes to help, she and Artemis travel to Haven and, with the help of Foaly, attempt to find a cure for Artemis' ailment. However Artemis and Holly may find more than just a cure.

Magic is a strange and dangerous thing. When a magical mishap transforms Artemis into an elf, his life is reborn in Haven. Follow him as he struggles to regain friends, family, and his fortune. Bad summary... Sigh. A/H

Max has never liked the beach. Hopefully, that'll change with this vacation. However, it won't happen if the Flock doesn't stop plotting for Fang to use the L-word, Max's embarrassment never ceases, and this looming threat doesn't disappear. FAX, Pre-FANG

Max gets captured by the school. It's been 10 years since she's seen the flock, and she's finally escaped the school. what happens when she finds the flock? will they even take her back? MAJOR FAX review please!

Harry has defeated Lord Voldemort, but all is not as it seems. Betrayal, dark ambition, and schemes that Harry wants no part of force Harry to flee to France, where he may meet the one person who can save him from his problems in England, and himself.

Edward has left Bella and that angers her, after she has walked away from him is she found by Jacob and the wolf pack. Then strange things begins to happen to them, will they find out whats happening, or let fate decide? bad summary, great story. enjoy!

Human. No Wings. This is a typical story in which Max moves to a new town and meets and falls in love with Fang. Max is a slightly geeky girl. Fang is popular. Both their personalities intrigue the other person. But opposites do attract. Back from hiatus.

Post OotP. AU. After Sirius' death, Tonks helps Harry through the the grief and helps him prepare to face Voldermort. And Sirius' Will will leave them a lot to think about. Harry/Tonks HONKS Rated M for later chapters

Alice's ancient Porsche breaks down while picking up her foster brother from Arizona. A beautiful stranger finds them and helps them get to Seattle, but Alice finds something more than just a ride. Alice/Bella. AU/AH.

After Bella's bad break up she thinks suicide is the only way out. Then Edward comes into her life. He becomes her rock by always being there. Is Bella able to love again? AH Full summary inside. ON HIATUS

NIGGY! FAX! Iggy and Nudge get things started and Angel An argument between Nudge and Max. Review please! Oh yeah Nudge is 15 not 12 IGGY IS NOT BLIND IN ANY OF MY STORIES UNLESS I SAY DIFFERENTLY. i only put that in caps bc i wanted u 2 read it. enjoy!

Bella and Edward both tried to commit suicide and they get sent to the same treatment facility to get better. Can they help each other more than their families ever tried? OOC, LEMONS, cutting, language, more lemons

Harry is bitten in the forbidden forest at the end of his first year and is sent away to be trained by a vampire on how to control his abilities and urges, he returns in his 6th year to find things to be a little bit different. HP/KB HG/DS Weasley bashing

ON HIATUS! Bella's a rockstar and everything's going great until a certain vampire family decides to make an appearance, but Bella's not the same Bella she was when they left. Rated T for excessive profanity.

Max has been in love with Fang for years. Between trying to raise the flock and saving the world, will they be able to be together, or will anything and everything come between them? Sometimes saving the world is easier...Fax, Niggy, Eggy

AU. Max is the goddes of death. She likes taking peoples life. But what happens if she cant take someones? Will she be willing to fall from grace for a mortal with the weird name of Iggy? IggyxMax. Rated M 'cus i want to

Bella has a gift, but when she tells her parents they commit her to a mental institution. What is Bella's gift and who is the demon doctor. What will happen when she transfers to Forks mental institution where the famous Dr.Cullen works? Currently on hold

The famous "can I really trust you?"... Max is lost and confused but knows how to hide it all. Dimitri Shadows steps into her life and she starts to slowly fall into him and let it all out. What will happen if she says too much? Can she trust him?

Harry awakes to quite the surprise when he finds Luna trying to remove the Flumpawumps from him, through her mouth, via his... other wand... HarryxLuna. Crack, especially later on! Omakes eight through ten up.

Harry Potter defeated Voldemort and is the new dark Lord. But the only person he loved is dead. He goes to the past to change the future so he can love his Hermione. Powerful!Independent!Dark!Harry HG/HP Dumbledore/Most Weasly Bashing slightAU

Maximum Ride has now saved the world and is 16 years old. Her mom suckers her into going to high school and she most deal with the jealousy within her family and out in addition to EVERYONE knowing she's a freaking bird. What's a Flock leader going to do?

As Harry returns to the Dursley's after sixth year,he finds himself thinking of his professors death.But he learns of Dumbledores Manipulations,and pay back is in order.Dumbledore didn't die that night on the tower, Magonagal DidRated MA Multishp first

Yes, this is a crappy Title but the story in my terms is Awesome. This is how the showdown of Eragon and Galbatorix. Arya and Eragon,One shot...ish :/! Tragic...ish.. Read at Own risk : T for future chapters... I hope... . Angsty. Enjoy! on HAITUS

Alice/Bella. You are poisoned by your memories - deprived of the scorching flame that once flickered inside you. What is brought forth instead is nothing short of a spark that reawakens the fire in your veins. You say it's love... but I call it passion.

In 1985 Harry Potter was rescued by James' brother in 1997 Harry comes to Hogwarts finally for his 6th year after years of training but he isn't what people expect Darker Harry Harry/Daphne/Blaise girl

Harry goes threw a drastic change once he has reached the graveyard during his fourth year, with this new change Voldemort, Death Eaters and even Dumbledore won't stand a chance against him, look out world here comes the Ultimate Warrior! H/Many.

"Than me when you mess with my girfriend" when someone close hurts Holly, Fowl takes actions into his own hands. it can sort of be seen as a sequal to my other fan fic "the tape" rated T for violence, adult themes, and language

Max is running, but this time she's alone. The Flock kicked her out and gave her to the School. It's been two years. She's just got away. Max isn't who she used to be, and isn't changing back. What happens when she lands in Forks? OOC Warning: LANGUAGE

Fang: When long time girlfriend Lissa leaves Nick, he's left to find love again. Max: When she declines an offer to move to Italy with fiance, Sam, she's left alone and loveless. When the two meet in a bar, what will happen? rated T

Bella's step father abuses her and kills her mother. He tracks her down to the seattle highway till her car skids on the road and makes and accident. Edward finds her and takes her home to Carlisle. What do you think will happen to her next?E/B No lemons

When Max moves to Virginia, she didn't expect to meet Fang and fall for him. She totally didn't expect that he'll also fall for her. Why do they have to be so stubborn and deny everything? It's love and you don't deny love. WARNING: HIGHSCHOOL STUPIDITY

AH: "We've been best friends since we were 6 years old... But I could lose all that if that plane takes off before I can stop her.... before I can tell her how I really feel.... that I'm in love with her."... Yea, I suck at summaries. Just read! lol.

As the flock grew up they found out a lot. About survival, about each other and eventually, about love. This is about our resident chatterbox and blind mad genius. "You learn a lot about someone in 14 years."

Maximum ride is alone, Itex is gone but at what cost? Jeb convinces her to start fresh and have a normal life. But how can you have a normal life when the town you move to is full of vampires? Set two years after 3rd book 4th and 5th book didn't happen

Twilight xover Ginny flinched down in her seat as Harry slammed his foot down on the breaks, the tires screeching across the tarmac to come to a mercifully quick, but close stop. The six people standing as stationary angels in the road didn’t move an inch

Max is the trouble maker. She got away with everything but one day she moves and she meets a boy named Fang and his friends. What will she find? Love? Hatred? Jealousy? Will she change? All Human...FAX! Sorry, for the crappy summary, first fanfic.

Harry Potter/Eragon Crossover. Starts in Book 5 of Harry Potter, After Snape's Worst Memory, Harry finds a new room in Hogwarts. From inside of it Harry finds himself in a new world of Magic, Dragons and Elves before the fall of the Riders. See AN Spoiler

nudge isn't part of max's flock, but has her own. what if both flocks meet and team up to take down itex once and for all. how will her oppinon of iggy be like. the story is way better then this summary.

When April Fools Day rolls in, Finn's ready and set to play pranks on the rest of the Storm Hawks. But when Aerrow and Piper invite her special friend, will Finn be the one who's going to be April's fool? Rated for situations and pranks. AxP, FxOC?

Set after Brisingr. What happens when Arya discovers the last dragon egg? How will the races of Alagaësia react to this startling development? And the big question - who will it hatch for? Eragon x Arya, rated T to be safe.

Fang thinks he's in love with Lissa, when really it's just the School's plan to destroy the Flock. During a fight, Max takes a bullet for Fang, and he realizes he is really in love with Max. However, Max is now dying and the School's plan is still in play

Sequal to Halo 3. Master Chief awakens to find much time has passed and everyone he knows is gone. Meanwhile, an unknown evil plunges a device into the sun and creates a Super Nova that will soon destroy Earth and every other planet nearby.

Harry finds Professor Trelawny talking about a prophecy made by Rowena Ravenclaw and researches it. Who are the heirs? ABANDONED. THIS IS NOW A CHALLENGE. Feel free to use it, but it has to have HP/HG and NL/DG. Those four people have to be the heirs.

At the age of six Harry will awaken a power that will help him on the way to greatness. Shadow Magic. Escaping from Privet Dr. Harry begins a quest that will either lead the wizarding to a new utopia or will plunge it into a new Dark age. Powerful Harry.

Bella Swan, the daughter of a secret agent that is on the dead list; Charlie. Alice Cullen, a popular artist. They meet at Beverly Hills High, neither of them know why they're being instantly pull to one another. More summary on the first chapter.

Max makes a mistake.The Flock leaves her. Jeb betrays her. When she ends up in the hospital, all hell brakes loose. She escapes. But that doesn't mean that she's safe forever. Or that she'll get her Flock back. Could go anywhere really.

AU, Fang works for Itex, Max works for the School. Max is sneaking into an Itex headquarters on a mission, but she's caught by Fang. The only way for things to get more complicated would be if they, like, fell in love, or something. Faxness, of course.

This is a story about Bella moving from Forks because Edward broke up with her after 5 years of going out just because he thought she was holding him back. She's kind of a brat at first but you learn to love her as she changes. Please read! :

Harry invites Luna to a Ministry Christmas party wow! Deja vu! What happens when she gets there with more than fruitcake and pumpkin juice on her mind? HarryxLuna. Extremely graphic. If you are offended by smut, DO NOT READ!

Artemis is going through some troubled times. And you know why? Holly. His pretty elfin friend... Takes place after The Time Paradox. Holly's age has not been changed back in this story so she is fourteen like Artemis.

Bella/Alice Bella and Alice meet and fall in love. With some danger, the right amount of fluff, and a little twist...Bella can talk to nature...I know the summary sucks, the story's better...just give it a chance...:D

On Hiatus, sorry I don't think that I've done Bellice justice with this story. I'm not ending it, simply stepping back to assess my work and try to figure out where I want this to go. Thank everyone who's reviewed or set alerts or favorited this story.

When keeping watch, Iggy often uses the time to think. So does Max. Iggy thinks about his secret crush on Max, and Max wonders which male companion she should choose. Miggy and slightly implied Fax R&R rated T cuz I'm paranoid One-shot!

Harry Potter/Vampire Hunter D crossover. Harry, disturbed by his godfather’s death, begins to cut himself. A lone hunter finds him beaten, abandoned and bleeding. This lone hunter must make a decision, let him die or turn him.

My version of burned. The book after tempted. What if Heath isnt really gone.What if eric came back. What if zoey died. You'll never know unless you read. My version plz read my first fanfic. Rated M for langue Some not really

Takes place in second book. Alice and Bella have hooked up and Bella wants to spend an eternity with her new lover. but what happens when Edward comes back begging for more. He was her first love after all...THREE CHAPTER FIC...EXPECT A SEQUEL!

Max gathers all her courage and decides to approach Fang one night during his watch. She struggles to admit her feelings for him. Angel is bossy and won't go to bed. Neither will Iggy, Nudge, or Gazzy Max finally spits out what she is trying to say R&R

Assuming Bella will never love another women, Alice resolves to be whatever Bella needs. When she sees Bella jump from a cliff, she returns to Forks barely in time and discovers that Bella needs more than a sister or friend. Alice/Bella. Femslash.

Bella goes to college to meet new people, but her roommate turns out to be Alice Cullen, one of the "popular girls" at Forks High. Alice and Bella become best friends, but then Bella meets Alice's twin, Edward, first Forks, now Dartmouth's biggest player.

ONE-SHOT! Fang is a photographer, but he lost his muse when Max walked out of his life. When he stumbles across her in a club, can he convince her to model for him again? FAX! AU. Rated M for mild sexual references/themes

Max is still a little confused about her relationship with Fang, but when he comes in to her room at night, sparks fly. FAX. Posted by missbellalove on the Ride Sisters account. SLIGHT LEMON. But nothing descriptive. UPDATE: NO LONGER A ONE-SHOT.

Magic has changed Artemis more then anyone ever expected, and with new revelations in Haven, life will never be the same. Based after TLC. Please read and review, it makes me continue! All chapters re-edited, I hope .

What happens when Max and the gang move to Forks? They meet up with some unexpected people-- or rather, vampires. What does it take for Fang to finally snap? Max... and that's about it. Her world is falling down around her, and there's nothing she can do.

When Max gets fed up with Fang's hobby of sleeping with multiple girls, they get in a fight that ruins Max's romantic feelings towrds Fang but it also shows her who she's actually ment to be with. Miggy

A long-thought destroyed plague is showing up again, after almost 19 centuries. It is only present in one person, and that one person has no choice but to submit to it's power. It seems to have evolved. Or did it just never show its full power? H/A maybe.

My take on the 'Potter in Azkaban' theme. Harry and Daphne have spent the last 4 years in Azkaban for a crime they did not commit. Dark! Powerful! & Unforgiving! Harry & Daphne. Graphic violence, sexual situations and some dark humour.

Ichigo and Yoruichi have just returned from their mission to rescue Rukia, but things will never be the same. With an inevitable hollow invasion on the horizon, Yoruichi desperately tries to get Ichigo to discover her true feelings.

Saphira had enough of the constant chase between Ayra and Eragon. It’s obvious that they have feelings for the other but won’t admit with the war going on. She decides to make matters within her hands…claws. Saphira's pov

Rukia spends her first Christmas in the real world with Ichigo and his family, and Ichigo's true feelings for her start to show. One - Shot, Rated M for Lemon - My first fanfic, so that also means my first lemon, so be harsh!

With Kalona gone, Zoey Redbird is faced with several challenges. With Heath being marked, her becoming the new high priestess and getting a spot on the high council, Zoey is having barelly anytime to be a teen!

Iggy put his forehead against hers, "So mystery girl, you still not gonna tell me your name?" He hadn't cared much about this before but now something had changed. They had hardly spoken but there was something about this girl.

AU: Harry’s turn was the end of his life as a complicated mime trapped in a box. No more was he the naive boy who followed without question; with power and strength comes a realization that Harry didn't need a side. -Vampire-fic - HPLL Non-Slash

I’m not a Dear-Diary-Today-my-hair-was-a-mess-boo-hoo-oh-woe-is-me kind of girl. I’m more of a Say-one-more-word-about-my-hair-and-it-won’t-be-the-only-thing-that’s-messed-up-you-creep person. So this could come as a surprise." Written by an angry Holly.

Romance/humour. Two-shot. Post TTP. An extended version of 'Oh, Holly, Holly, Holly, Holly.' Artemis and Holly are playing chess and he soon finds it hard to concentrate. His elf-kissing days... Are just beginning. Rated M for a reason.

Bella and Alice are best friends, they've both grown up in similar circumstances and have grown closer because of it. Once the girls try to commit suicide, they are then adopted by Carlisle and his family. continued inside...

At the need for the people of earth, God performs a Heavenly intervention to save the worlds savior and Harry changes the wizard world forever. SUPER HARRY, corrupted dumbles, good hermione, bad weasleys,H/Hr, angels ABANDONED

It's been three years since Artemis Fowl has seen Holly Short due to the Council. When she drops by Fowl Manor one night, a talk between two good friends turns into a rather unexpected surprise for Artemis.

Max and the gang are relaxing at Dr.m's, or they're as relaxed as they'll ever be, but when Gazzy overhears a secret conversation between Nudge and Ella, things get hectic. NudgeXIggy. oneshot. image found on google.

This is s story about Iggy and Nudge and what Iggy and Nudge talk about while every one else is out. Thats why it is rated M just in case because this has a mind of its own and i dont know where this will go.

With his new magic Artemis must go beyond this world to stop the destruction and mayhem of beings from another world. Set after Lost Colony. A lot of A/H in later chapters. COMPLETE although i might still edit it.

The trauma suffered by Bella for three years has left lasting mental scars. Surrounded by the support and love of the Cullen family, Bella begins to grow and finds out there is more to life than simply surviving.

Rukia and Ichigo are preparing for the coming Winter war, however strange sightings of a mysterious figure have been running amuck in town, until one night when Rukia meets it and learns of it's plan's for Ichigo, and herself. Future lemons possible...

Harry begins to get feelings for Luna, and a whole new Romance stirs. The story is being rewritten in accordance with some reviews, there may be slightly less lemon, downgraded to a T for now. Chapter 8 is out, please read and review.

Two teenagers, two childhood friends, years of suffering from their family's hands lead them to the end of the line, and as they break, both find love in each other one and last time before they find peace in the soothing darkness of death. Suicide Fic.

Bella catches Edward and Alice cheating. She calls of the wedding and Jasper files a divorce with Alice. What happens when Jasper and Bella hang out adn realize they have feelings stronger then friendship?

*ABANDONED AND MAY DELETE * Bella and Edward are involved in a Car accident, leaving Bella in a coma. With Edward unharmed, he discovers that the accident wasn't accidental, and that he was the intended victim...

HP/NT HONKS . This is a post-ootp fic containing a very independent and powerful/super Harry. There is a fair amount of bashing here. I don't really do angst, so dont expect much in this story. Reposted and officially on hold.

Holly doesnt know if she loves Artemis or not, let alone if he does, so she decides to play a trick on him to find out and gets them both into a load of trouble deeper than she imagined...A/H, Opal/Spiro...ON HIATUS...Has been adopted

Harry gets captured by the Death Eaters, Bellatrix has a couple of hours alone with him in a cell in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor. Harry is chained to the wall . . . . . . only suitable for 18 years or older . . . .

What would it be like if the positions were switched, if Eragon was to grow in Morzans castle. How would things be changed and would Eragon be strong enough to resist Galbatorix clutches? EragonxArya I suck at summeries but give it a chance

Harry decided growing up “on the street” was better than at the Dursleys and ran away as a child, becoming lost to the Wizarding world. He was very happy with his life until accidentally found by Albus Dumbledore... No real pairing

After the Department of mysteries debarcle Harry's friends abandon him. Alone and unhappy he finds out something about himself as Hannah Abbot pulls him back from the brink. Harry decideds to do something about his life but hits a few snags along the way.

Harry's been beaten and his friends don't like him, but how does Merlin fit into him having to save the world AGAIN? Super!Angry!Dark!but!not!evil!Harry, slave!Tracey, Harry/Fluer, maybe!femmeslash Manipulative!Dumbles!

Post OotP. Originally 'Harry Potter, Black Phoenix', rewritten with kind permission. Harry tries to get his mind off all the pain he's suffered and one thing leads to another. Ron and slight Dumbledore bashing. GreyDark Harry. HONKS.

What happens when Artemis and Holly fall in love? Espeacialy when Holly is gonna outlive Artemis by centuries. When Artemis stumbles upon a old black copy of The Book he learns of what happens when a fairy and a human unite. Major AH

It is december 24 and everything seems to be doing fine until something sends Yoruichi into a depression...find out what and why! i rated it "m" just cause. If you like it tell me in a review and i'll continue and if you don't then i won't!

He died. Just like that. Gone in seconds. And-and I thought we would last, unlike so many other things in my life. I don't think I could make it. I'll bring him back,though, no matter what it takes. Holly's POV. A/H.

Rukia's first kiss with Ichigo was without Ichigo. Ichigo's first kiss with Rukia was really with Rukia. Confused? Rukia needs to come clean and explain it because anything to do with Kon needs to be explained anyway. One-shot

Everything reminds him of her during this time of year. The presents, the ornaments, the snow, it all brings back some of the most wonderful and painful memories that he possesses. Holiday/Christmas fic. Oneshot

HP crossover with Eragon. With the fear of expulsion, Harry runs to the forbidden forest where he finds a dragon egg. Now on a mission to save Tonks, who knows who he may meet. Changed to a Harry/Tonks/Gabrielle. Read and Review please!

Adopted from IMAN2688. Harry has just returned to the Dursley's after saving Sirius from the DoM. An unexpected event finds Harry somewhere he's never been before, getting trained by an odd stranger. And he has a wife? Rated for sexual content.

After Sirius' Death and the revelation of the Prophecy,Hary comes to the conclusion that he needs help. What happens when help comes from certain friends he doesn't remember he even had? AU post OotP, Hp/Nt, slight Rw/Hg, Dark NOT Evil Harry, On Hold

Harry Potter has a block placed on him as a baby which makes him deaf. Twelve years later, he encounters the wizarding world and finds a young witch who might just be able to show him that he can be loved the way he is...

Harry gets a note from Tonks, finds a strange silver egg, and trains on an alternate plane of existence. Find out what the Order of the Phoenix originally was, and what it has to do with Harry. AU sixth year. Harry/Tonks

What if Edward had never went to Italy? What if Bella never went to La Push? What if Bella was suicidal and cutting? And what if Edward does come back and sees her from her window? B&E OOC Bella slightly

When a young boy feels something powerful within himself, would he let it rest or let the power grow, follow Harry as he learns to control of of the most powerful gifts magic can gift upon a young wizard.

Harry is at the third task in the tri-wizard tournament and is about to take the cup with Cedric. However, a lot of unfortunate events take place when they grab the cup. This is what happens... Even though you know what happened in GOF and it is how my

AU 6th year. PreHBP. It's the summer between Harry's fifth and sixth year. What happens when someone he despises with his life comes to him and offers him a chance to use her as a slave? What happens when two others fall into a similar situation? HPBBNBNT

Ichigo is betrayed, the Gotei 13 find out he is a Vizard and try to apprehend and destroy him! What happens when everyone except one turns on him? In Yoruichi's mind, there's only one way to help him...she has to become like him. YoruIchi M for safety

Supposed to be a ONE SHOT. Everyone needs a moment alone, and these two have finally gotten theirs. Only thing is... Yoruichi isn't sure how she got here and wants to know her captures name. Yoruichi Ichigo with mention of someone else. You have to read

Yoruichi just happens to be minding her own business for once; enjoying a nice sunny day in the middle of a forest near a small lake. But, shes bare naked! And little does she know that Ichigo is on his way miraculously to that exact spot! Oneshot.

HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE-harry and tonks ran away! wow. we all knew dumbledore had it coming especialy when mum told us how some day he could dissapear just like tonks warned. a h&T story will be AU and supernatural like wings and stuff demons and what not dont like? dont read

First fanfic, Ichigo x Rukia, oneside Orihime x Ichigo, and some Urahara x Yoruichi, just cause they are SO GOING OUT! Ichigo, after the defeat of Sousuke Aizen, has been having nightmares to the point where he can't control his Hollow at night. COMPLETE!

Yoruichi confronts Ichigo, asking why he always pushes her away. Her little joke, however, ends unexpected as Ichigo finally gives in to her seductive ways. Rated M for lemon. Don't read if you aren't a fan of lemon stories. This one is pretty graphic.

oh, it's true, She' never been kissed and she's 19! What Happens when the storm hawks go to Terra Neon for the 4th of July and not only is her love for Aerrow Revealed, but so is Junko's Relatinship with somone, And an engagment! PXA, JXOC, SXH,FXOC

Harry's life is changed dramatically when Voldemort returns at the end of his fourth year. Oh yeah, he was bitten by a werewolf and a Vampire too! Somewhat DarkHarry, not evil, just a little meaner. HarryGinnyTonks HarryHarem! warn: Sexual situations!

Rewrite on Harry Potter and Power Is Everything. If garrett627 sees this, please check your email and reply to my message. Harry gains more and more power, and is eventually joined by a harem of girls. HarryHarem Story.

At a young age Harry's responded to his mental and physical abuse and gifted him with a great power.Now with this power Harry plans to use it to reach his goals and change the world.Will he be able to complete his ambitions or will he be consumed by it?

Arya comes to realize her love for Eragon.Somewhat of an idea for the 3rd book and a story as well.Arya becomes a RIder and Murtaugh returns with a request..Chapter 4 coming soon THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!

Just a cheesy and smutty romance involving Ichigo and Yoruichi. Inspired by episode 41, when Yoruichi reveals her true form to Ichigo. Rated for lemons and use of bad language. Full summary inside. [Edit: SEQUAL UP!]

Life is bad for Harry, it can only get better. No Slash because Slash Sucks and I am a completely Heterosexual Male and So is Harry! Super!Harry. Rating Just in Case. HarryTonks in the Future. Or HONKS if you will.

A one shot of a Super Harry ending for HarryHermione shippers, there are unanswered questions and a large amount of history that I simply will not write, If you want have a go, just give credit where credits due.

What if Uncle Vernon had abandoned Harry in the forest? And he were raised by a Basilisk who had always wished to be a mother? What changes would that bring to his life as we know it? I Have decided to have HarryOC, explanation in Chapter 4.

UP FOR ADOPTION! Harry receives a package, and it reveals more than you can imagine. Discoveries of a soul-sister, a powerful vampire clan, and another prophecy made centuries before his birth... Well, Harry's sure to have an eventful year...