Friday, July 21, 2006

Smart baby

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Health torch?

Recently, my mom forced upon me a "Hand-pressing Flash Light." I didn't really need one, but I took it anyway. On the box there is a list under the category of "product characteristics." It is funny to read because it is obvious the person who wrote it did not have a strong command of the English language. Actually, my reaction is probably similar to what a French person's would be if he or she read my homework. Any strange spaces in words are on the box.

PRODUCT CHARACTERISTICS:

1. This product is a new science and technology product and made with high and new science and technology. It can illuminate only placing it in rhythm.

2. No need any power, no environmental pollution. Low noise and health. Comparing with common torch, it can be several times on lift.

3. Con stantly using this health torch, it can benefit to your palm, arm and shoulder stretching and blood circulation, so as to let your hands relax and brain clever, hand and brain coor dinate and promote your brain memory and health composition.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Oh, the humanity

On Sunday, it was 905 days since the Cubs were five outs away from the World Series before losing in a spectacular blaze of glory. The last 905 days featured more losing, and especially this season, more creative losing. Two-run sacrifice flies. Dropped fly balls. Blown save after blown save. But Sunday topped it all, and here is the proof from the New York Mets' top of the sixth inning.

Note: Entering the half-inning, the Cubs led 5-2. Exiting the half-inning, the Cubs trailed 13-5.

There's not much that can be said. I mean, two grand slams, a two-run home run, two errors by the same Cub (Todd Walker) and all in the time span of 41 minutes. Forty-one minutes. The shortest game in the history of baseball took 51 minutes. They would make a quality comedy troupe, these Cubs. Send them out on a stage and see what they can do. Surely, they would do a better job before a live studio audience than they would in front of 40,000 people at Wrigley Field. Maybe it's just stage fright. Yeah, that's it. Stage fright. They do well in batting practice, but they get out there with all those people and they just freeze. That's it, I figured it out. I should be the new manager.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

God Bless YouTube, Part 2

God bless YouTube

YouTube is the reason the Internet was invented, and this is evidence. I present to you, "Ernest and Bertram," the tragic story of Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie. This appeared at Sundance in 2002, but the Sesame Street people requested it be taken out of circulation. It's eight minutes long, but it's worth it.