World welcomes US border wall

(Rooters agency) – The international community has welcomed the idea, initiated by US Republican politician T. Ronald Dump, of building a wall between the United States and the rest of the world.

Dump, one of 68 (and counting) contestants for the Republican presidential nomination, proposed a wall only for the border between the US and Mexico. But, as 67 other Republican contenders quickly argued, it would be relatively easy for Mexican rapists and drug dealers to travel to Canada and then invade the US across the northern border, so a northern wall was needed also.

And, as was pointed out by Sangfrau Failing, the former Alaskan governor and vice-presidential candidate now being considered for the role of Laurel to Ronald Dump’s Hardy, the Mexican drug rapists could infiltrate northwesterly from Canada into Alaska, so a wall was needed there as well.

While speaking cautiously in order not to be seen to interfere in US politics, senior officials in both Mexico and Canada endorsed the idea of an impenetrable wall along their US borders (“especially with Alaska,” said a high-ranking Canadian who asked not to be named).

Ordinary Mexicans and Canadians were much more outspoken. “It would be wonderful,” said Juan, a resident of Ciudad Juarez, across the border from El Paso, Texas. “Imagine no longer being stopped on the street by gringo drug cops pretending to be tourists who want to buy drugs.”

“Maybe it would help stop the rest of the world from assuming we endorse all their government’s stupidities,” said Harriet, a bricklayer in Toronto. “Our government is quite stupid enough without being blamed for Washington as well.”

Officials and ordinary citizens in more distant countries were not so confident that the proposed walls would be adequate. Referring to “gunboat diplomacy” and the six naval fleets of the US, they argued that the world also needed an impenetrable wall along all US coast lines.

And residents of rural Pakistan, Yemen, and other countries pointed out that drone bombers – not to mention B-52s – would have no difficulty flying over any wall. What was also needed was some kind of dome over the entire United States.

Such a dome would be an unprecedented engineering challenge, experts agree. Nevertheless, an undisclosed but large number of governments have expressed willingness to contribute funds to the attempt to construct it. All seemed confident that their citizens would agree.