Since Randy was evicted from his latest place (they have a strict 'no creepy stalkers' policy), he has been searching for new apartments on Craigslist, since his friends are starting to get tired of his continued presence. (As are all of us, of course.) But Randy is a man of ingenuity. He is a man who turns his situation into humor, and Craigslist and apartment-hunting are a veritable gutted gold mine of jokes.

As a true connoisseur of the GOOMH and the cheap laugh, Randy has perfected a technique known as the "list joke." This is a cheap technique used to group together a large group of usually subpar jokes, in the hope that at least one of them will stick and inflict humor upon the unsuspecting.

References include Chernobyl, House of Leaves, Star Wars, Viking slave ships, submarines, spam, and some other shit I'm too lazy to compile. And, of course, apartment-hunting. Odds are pretty good that, if you're a nerd, you'll find a joke to laugh at here, or to GOOMH at here. This is a lazy attempt at humor, but ultimately not a terrible one--though some of the individual jokes are kind of stupid, some are all right, and there's just so many of them. The concept isn't awful, also.

Posted by
Rob

72 comments:

The thing that gets me the most about this is that it's essentially an unfunny reworking of a Something Awful series that's been around for about a year and a half now.http://www.somethingawful.com/series/18.php

I tried to read it all. I really did. But I saw how friggin' small the scroll bar to the right was—and how utterly devoid of humor each entry was—and my spirits were crushed. This is the first xkcd that I didn't (and will never) read all of. Good job, Randy.

Let me preface this comment with the statement that the only lines that made me laugh were "Childhood obesity reaches 100%" and "Cyprus acheives [sic] its goal".

First observation: "Cyprus Acheives its goal" returns zero results because that is not how you spell "Achieves" ["ch" is not a true "C" for that rule you're trying to show off!]. Ignoring a webpage about a logo design labelled "Luxury Cars Cyprus" that says "Luxury Cars Cyprus achieves its goal nicely, creating a design that displays luxury and professionalism.", I can only assume he is referring to this forum thread about Cyprian re-unification [in b4 sex pun on "Cyprian" and "Re-unification"]...

[...]by the year 2066, Cyprus will have eventually achieved its goal.

Which is incredibly vague if you're too lazy to read the post DIRECTLY ABOVE.

But if he'd spelled it out it wouldn't have been funny. Soo all this to say POINTS TO RANDALL BUT NOT MANY.

This might sound petty, but how good is Randall at math? He says that in 2016 baby boomers will start turning 65 but THE BOOMERS GENERATION STARTED IN 1946 YOU FUCKING IDIOT, THEY'RE TURNING 65 THIS YEAR D:<

Plus I'm curious how I thought writing all that would be a good idea because it's boring and bland as fuck.

The latest xkcd, the one with the year thing, was a GIGANTIC AND UNNECESSARY set up for the stupidest redux of a stupid, old meme I've ever seen. Did I really just read through hundreds of different unfunny search results for an all your base are belong to us joke?? I hate you, Randall.

@cptnoremac: It's the width of an m. What more could you want? You fancy-pants transitional serif typefaces and your giant sexy em-dashes can all stuff it! Oh, those sexy giant em-dashes. Claude Garamond, take me awaaaaaaaay

Guys, this isn't a joke comic. It's a pictoblag piece (you can surely understand that) about how absurdly inconsistent futurism is. I really wouldn't worry about the "baby boomers become 65" thing given that the US balances its budget six or seven times before its debt reaches 741% of the GDP, and two conflicting temperature increases occur in the same year.

The vagueness about Cyprus is indeed funniest when you know about the whole national unity problem, as that lets you focus on the whole "well that was humorously vague" aspect without the urge to fire up El Goog and figure out what's going on for yourself.

Sometimes I fantasize that Randall comes to this website and pretends to be one of the regulars and says horrible things about his work, attempting to troll any of the actual xkcd fans still being offended on this site, to mirror the giant troll on the pseudo-nerd world that is xkcd itself. He and his friend then sit back and chuckle, reveling in the tangled web of horrible comedy and antagonism that he has woven. The world seems so much more beautiful if I make myself believe this is true.

@R."also it sounds like you only do good things so you can brag about them later"

I don't tell you everything I do! I might be involved in other projects... My point is that you don't realize the luck you have to have a computer connected to internet. I know Moroccan kids who would kill for the ability to read xkcd 3 times a week.

@Jon Levi"I'll have you know that the posters on this blog ARE underprivileged children, and for every inciteful or funny comment, we are rewarded with food and vaccinations."

It seems dubious, but if it's true, then I'm sorry.

I can't believe I'm wasting time answering to you when I could be out there making a difference...

Heather, may I first direct you to Rob's Rants #4:http://xkcdsucks.blogspot.com/2010/01/dont-you-have-anything-better-to-do.html

Second, the sarcasm of the other commenters aside, why would it be so hard for you to believe that we're just as charitable as you, or more so? It's not really because we don't trumpet our good deeds to anyone who will listen, is it?

I thought that said Rob's Pants #4. I was confused about the discussion of his pants, though not at all surprised that he has to wear multiple ones at the same time. It'd be quite impossible to squeeze that many rolls of fat into a single pair.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

Frequently Asked Questions

Divided into two convenient categories, based on whether you think this website

Rob's Rants

When he's not flipping a shit over prescriptivist and descriptivist uses of language, xkcdsucks' very own Rob likes writing long blocks of text about specific subjects. Here are some of his excellent refutations of common responses to this site. Think of them as a sort of in-depth FAQ, for people inclined to disagree with this site.