It’s that time again for us as a people to scream, cry and bitch about all the Bond girl rumors. It begins.

Personally, I think the producers of the Bond movies should stop fighting it and cast Rhubarb Lady, Tara the Hero Cat, Conchita Wurst and La Vampy and just call it a day, but apparently for the next Bond movie the producers really want a Bond girl who will make the audiences pass out of from basic overdose into their tub of popcorn. Because Star Magazine (via IBT) claims that producers are looking at Blake NotSoLively and Amber Heard to play the part of a “Scandinavian woman who has a good heart but troubled past.” Um, isn’t that the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? Couldn’t they just do a Bond and Girl with the Dragon Tattoo crossover? Oh wait, they did that. It was called the American version of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Anyway, shooting apparently starts in November and Daniel Craig and director Sam Mendes will be back for the next one.

Expect every single woman on this planet to be named as “in talks” to be the next Bond girl. If you’re reading this right now and you’ve got a chocha, you’ll soon be “in talks” to be a Bond girl. But if the producers really are choosing between Tits McMumbles and Johnny Depp’s piece, then they have an impossible decision to make. Deciding between Amber Heard and Blake NotSoLively is like deciding between two pieces of stale Wonder Bread dipped in tap water. May the basic wars begin!

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