To those who have decided to peripherally monitor this train to see of it goes off the rails, I feel obligated to inform you that I am not a same time every day writer. It comes when it comes and the schedule allows. I would love to be a same time every day AM writer. Alas, there are days when I am a PM writer, and even late night writer. (In fact, that is most days) Happy Scribing. Image found here: http://tanyamarier.tumblr.com/post/8412771490/residualrandomtarian-the-past-always-seems

March 21/22 – Days 141 & 142 – 500 Words

Beginning of another writing week and the Irony 3 Novel Train is chugging along. If the word count looks a bit off to you, then you are correct and not cyber hallucinating. I did refrain from writing on day 141 of this trip. If the second thing you noticed is that the count falls precisely on 500 words for day 142, then, again, you are in your right mind. How did it happen? How does anything happen? The river overflowed, the buns rose in the oven, the owl hooted at midnight, and the count fell on 500 words exactly. If nothing else, it is a better explanation than me just highlighting a block of text in the Word document, raising an eyebrow at the even number, and then closing it and deciding to let it stand as is. See? I told you the other explanation was better. As for the villagers who lived in a town near the overflowing river, I am sure they came out okay.

What else is there to say? Not much. I am driving this train along, sometimes unsure of the quality of the ride, but writing by faith and my limited talent, regardless. It is one thing to have an ending and write toward it. It is another to do the actual writing and have it flow sensibly toward that ending. Even if it is a surprise ending, if it just comes from out of the blue, then it is a gimmick that will probably put off your more seasoned readers. And those are the ones who buy books consistently. Anywho, the beginning of another week on the rails and I’m still in the game. Can’t complain about that. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

March 23/24 – Days 143 & 144 – 1029 Words

“I can see clearly now the rain is gone.”What are you doing?“I can see all obstacles in my way.”Hey.“Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.”Hey!“It’s gonna be a brig—Huh? What?”Hellooo? Update time?“And?”And, it is time to inform the passengers on the Irony 3 Novel Train what is going on.“Like I said, And?”What does that mean?“It means you did the last update without me, and few others I might add, so why do you need me around at all?”You know? It is good to hear you say that for a change.“I don’t like you right now.”I got nothing but love for you.“Yeah, that and a dollar won’t buy me a ‘Race Together’ cup at Starbucks.”With inflation, a dollar and anything won’t get you a cup of coffee today.“I know, right? Inflation sucks.”Tell me about it, you know the same package of ground beef that used to be 5 dollars is now 6-something, and some places 7-something.?“Yeah, and—Hey! I see what you are doing. Don’t try and inflate the subject. You can go ahead with your funky little update, and leave me to get my song groove on.”Song groove? Is that what you call it?“Don’t think I am not hip to you. Instead of telling the passengers on your own that your MC’s found something in the house and are standing over what they found, analyzing it, and bouncing ideas off each other, you want to keep me a part of this update to help you do it. Well, no can comprendo compadre.”LOL. No What?“You heard me. If you want to tell the Irony 3 Novel Train passengers that you have a surprise waiting for your MC’s when they leave the house, then that is on you. Don’t expect me to do it for you. I have a song groove to get on, remember?”I see. But, what if I wanted to tell them how these two writing days went? What about that?“What about it? Then just go ahead and tell them that they went relatively smoothly and you advanced the book another thousand words and that the Novel Train is still on the tracks. What in the heck do you need me to do that for?”You’re absolutely right. I am sorry. I can do that myself. I apologize for interrupting your song groove.“I thought so. Now, can I get back to some Johnny Nash?”By all means.“Oh yes, I can make it now the pain is gone. All of the bad feelings have disappeared.”Alright, folks, that about wraps this loony puppy up. Happy writing and feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

March 25/26 – Days 145 & 146 – 1099 Words

I got nothing“You got nothing?”I got nothing“Well, you know, nothing is something or else it wouldn’t be nothing.”Don’t start. (Good For You) I am not up for riding that merry-go-round again.“So, what are you going to do? You have to say something.Hmmm, maybe I spoke too soon on the merry-go-round. If nothing is something, then if I say nothing, I am really saying something, right?“Say what to the what now?”Forget it. It’s nothing.“Is it just me, or is everyone else as confused as watching a Bolian mate in a threesome with a Klingon and a Cardassian?”Been watching Star Trek reruns again, haven’t you?“Um, maybe a little. Besides, I have to do something while you are sleeping and dreaming about all the books you are not going to sell.”Hey, I told you about that dream where the president signed an executive order, which declared the Irony books an affront to literature and that all copies be burned and stricken from public record, in confidence.“And you were right to do so, because I am confident that our incoming leader will do just that.”Ha-ha! Very amusing.“Let me guess, to the corner I go?”Quicker than Al Bundy, buddy.“Al Bundy? Oh. My. God. Married With Children? Season 7 Ep. 22? Really?”Thanks for looking that up for me. Now, away you go.

Alright, folks, nothing much to say here, except that the book continues to progress and I am attempting to unravel the story line toward the ending I have in mind. Day 145 saw me complete a short 570 word chapter 27, in order to merge the main plot with a secondary one. Day 146 on the Irony 3 Novel Train began with chapter 28, and the beginning of the merge. I am still on the tracks and by the grace of God have yet to derail. Happy writing people. Feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood.

March 27 – Day 147 – 500 Words

End of another writing week on the Irony 3 Novel Train. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the crickets are cricketing. If one of those sounds like it doesn't belong, then channel your inner sesame street and you will know which one is not like the other.“If I were a potential customer and read what you just wrote, I wouldn't be able click away fast enough from your books.”I know I am going to regret this, but why is that, may I ask?“There’s no way I am supporting your crazy.”Crazy? Sesame Street is an educational icon that has been enjoyed by thousands of children all over the world. What is crazy about that?“Thousands of children, you say?”Millions even.“Okay, I’ll agree with that.”Then what is your problem?“How old are you?”Say what?“In what stage of adolescence are you at the moment? Do tell."So, what are you implying? That because I am a little older--“Try a lot.”I don’t like you right now.“I got nothing but love for you.” Oh, I see, role reversal from the other day, huh? (Days 143 &144) Okay, I’ll let it go, for now. But, for the record, there is nothing wrong with fondly reminiscing on one’s childhood, regardless of age.“Does that mean you’re going to sing the song now?”The Sesame Street song? No, not necessarily. But, if I did, there would be nothing wrong with that either.“Really? Wow. Hey, you remember how fast you sent me to the corner last update?” (Days 145 &146)You mean quicker than Al Bundy?“That’s how fast I would click away from your books if I heard of you singing the Sesame Street theme song.”Then let’s just be grateful that you are only a figment of my imagination and not a potential customer.“I suggest you call up Al Bundy and get him to buy your books.”He is a made up character too, on television.“And Sesame Street?”Okay, yes, Sesame Street is made up as well, but--“*Click* Quicker than Al Bundy.”*Sigh* I need some green tea right now, folks. So, I am going to wrap up this loony puppy up and make some.“Hey, that looks like a nice Lawrence Block book over ther—Oompf!”I just shoved him to the corner of my mind, he’ll be okay. In the meantime, feel free to see Contact page for calendar blurbs, and Home page progress meter for count and mood. Oh, and the Poetic Shroud tab remains an Al Bundy click away at the top of the page.

For the end of the writing week jam, I give you Kirk Franklin's Lean On Me, featuring Mary J. Blige, Bono, The Family, R. Kelly, Crystal Lewis.