Peasant's Quest Responses

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> LOOK FOOTPRINTS

The Peasant's Quest game relies on text commands to complete objectives in the game. While there are programmed responses to all of the necessary actions in the game's storyline, the game contains many responses to unproductive commands as well.

The following are the messages displayed while completing the minimal number of tasks to achieve a perfect score. Note that different messages may be displayed for a game completed differently (e.g. if the Three Keepers' questions are answered), and that there are many other messages that may be displayed in response to inputs that are not constructive and/or not essential to completion of the game.

YOU are Rather Dashing, a humble peasant living in the peasant kingdom of Peasantry.You return home from a vacation on Scalding Lake only to find that TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR has burninated your thatched roof cottage along with all your goods and services.With nothing left to lose, you swear to get revenge on the Wingaling Dragon in the name of burninated peasants everywhere.

3B

0

(intro)

You head east towards the mountain atop which TROGDOR lives.

3C

0

(intro)

That's a nice looking lake.

3D

0

(intro)

You can start playing in a second here.

2D

0

(intro)

Okay, go for it.

2E

1

get pebbles

You grab up a handful of fairly substantial pebbles. You make sure to get an even mix of sedentary, igneous, and, um, sureptitious rocks.

3C

2

put pebbles in bucket

You plunk all your pebbles into the bucket. The weight causes it to descend to the bottom of the well with a quickness!

1C

0

turn crank

The crank seems to have loosened and you haul the bucket back up. What's this? Why there's a monster maskus in there! No doubt leftover from some pagan ritual. Silly pagans.You grab up the scary moster maskus. Man, this thing could scare a horse!

1D

2

talk man

"Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev," says the archer. "I used to run a shooting range here with my brother Dongolev. But we don't talk so much anymore. I haven't seen him in a Jhonka's age. If you ever run into him, tell him I said 'haldo'."You mean 'hello,'" you ask?"Oh, um. No. Shut up. I said 'haldo' and I meant 'haldo.' Tell him I said 'haldo.'"

2D

2

wear mask

You slip on the hideous monster maskus.You scared the crap outta Poor Gary! He broke on through to the other side!

1A

3

haldo

the archer stops arching and turns to you. "My brother told you to tell me haldo? He must want to start the old business back up!"

Hidden glen

2

get arrow

You pick out a really good one and yank it from the tree. Hooray! Now you have an arrow!

Hidden glen

0

open door

You open er up and head on in.

4D

1

get chicken feed

You used to eat this stuff like crazy when you were a kid and your parents weren't watching (which was all too often). You grab several large handfuls.

Baby lady cottage

0

(on leaving baby lady cottage)

the baby lady calls after you, "Hey, you're on some quest right? Well, the little squirt here lost something of mine in the yard the other day. It's yours if you can find it."

Baby lady cottage

0

get berries (first bush)

You reach into the bush to snag some berries but they all just squish in your hand.

4D

0

get berries (second bush)

Man, nothing in this bush but squished berries either.

4D

0

get berries (third bush)

Too bad you don't want any squished berries, cuz hey: jackpot!

4D

2

get berries (fourth bush)

You reach into the bush to snag you some berries but instead find a Super Trinket! These things are awesome! You have a sneaking suspicion that SOMEONE in this game will need this thing.

4D

2

throw chicken feed

You toss the feed into the lake. You shed a tear for each one. "Goodbye, Monty" you sniff. "Bye Delga, Rasputin. Farewell, Combledon!" and so forth.Woah! That crotchety old man just caught a pantload of fish! "Now I can get back to running the inn," he says and rows to shore and hauls his boat out and cleans, guts, and filets all the fish and a buncha other stuff we didn't animate.

3D

2

give super trinket

"That'll work," says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!""The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own."

Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your "Scalding Lake" T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest!

2B

3

jump into hay

You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show!

2A

0

(walk to Jhonka's cave)

Hey, nice disguise! The Jhonka doesn't seem to notice you.

3A

7

steal riches

Oh OH! A stiff breeze blew all the hay and, surprisingly, the mud off of you! "You take my riches?!" growls the Jhonka.

3A

0

No

"Okay. Lemme know if you see riches anywhere," he grunts and goes back to his hopping. You smooth talker, you.

3A

0

open door

You open er up and head on in.

4D

5

give riches

"My riches!!" she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. "Thanks, sucker! Here you go!" she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now.

Baby lady cottage

0

(on leaving baby lady cottage)

This place is dead anyway.

Baby lady cottage

5

throw baby

Something tells you this is a good idea and you lob the little one into the lake.You won't be arrested after all! The little guy has resurfaced safely, carrying an old bottle of soda. You take the soda and stow your swaddling buddy for takeoff.

3C

3

put baby in bucket

Okay, Father of the Year. You put a baby in a bucket and it quickly descends deep into the well. Yours is a black, black heart.

1C

2

turn crank

You haul the bucket back up. Lucky for you, the baby is still in it and appears to be unscathed. As a bonus, it looks like he found a Meatball sub down there. Score! You take the sub.Oh, and the baby. You take the baby.

1C

0

open door

You open the door and step inside the inn.

3E

5

give baby

"Well lookit that little guy!" says the Innkeeper. "You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?" He fishes around in his pockets."Um, how bout my medication!" You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. "Hey, those were for him!"

inn

2

move rock

You slide the stone over to reveal a little hole. If only you could cut off your arms, legs, and head you might be able to squeeze through!

4A

5

put baby into the hole

Deploying Q-Baby...Way to go, baby! It got the cottage door opened and headed off to a new life. He becomes Valedictorian of his graduating class, goes to Scalding Lake State, gets a degree in Advanced Peasantry and lands a job at Thatch-Pro: building better cottages for a better tomorrow.You grow apart and the letters from him become fewer and fewer. He develops a severe mead problem and blames you for never being there.

4A

0

open drawer

There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear.

Mysterious cottage

10

get robe

Yeah! Get that robe!

Mysterious cottage

1

close drawer

Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.

Mysterious cottage

3

wear robe

You slip into the vintage robe. It smells like grampa's lap. Now you're lookin like a serious peasant.

anywhere

0

open door

You open the door and step inside the inn.

3E

3

get room

"Okay, youngster," says the decrepit old person. "Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning."Night falls like a bad power point presentation.What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.

Inside giant inn

2

get pot

You reach way up to the top shelf.Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back.

Inside giant inn

3

(exiting inn with pot on head)

Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though.

With a new determination you dig your fingers into the cliff face and begin to haul yourself up the mountain like you were in a sports drink commercialThe mountain starts rumbling and big loose boulders start tumblin down. You'd best avoid thems.

Cliff base

3

(successfully climbing the cliff without dying)

Nice jorb climbing the cliff. You have a real way with those arrow keys.

Cliffland heights

0

(approached by first keeper)

Foolish peasant! How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.Unless you happen to have something to eat on ya. Then we could forego my question.

Trogdor's outer sanctum

5

give sandwich

No way! I was just kidding but you've really got a meatball sub. This rules! Here, you can have the Trog-Shield.

Trogdor's outer sanctum

0

(approached by second keeper)

Hold, peasant! You must answer the second dreaded Trog-Trivia question!Or we could call it even if I had an ice cold drink right now.

Whoa! Where'd you find this stuff? I don't think this is even legal anymore. These babies'll definitely smote LUMBAGO the, um, LOWER BACKINATOR!!The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.

This is it! You hurl the Trog-Sword with all your might at the sleeping Burninator.Now you've done it! Trogdor's awake and the Trog-Sword doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot.Your legs lock in fear, your eyes glaze over and you wish for some Depeasant adult undergarments. But you think you hear Trogdor whimpering!Aw crap, that's you whimpering. At least your voice still works, I guess.

Trogdor's posh lair

10

talk trogdor

You scream that your name is Rather Dashing and that Trogdor burninated your cottage and you're here for revenge!"Sup, mortal," booms Trogdor. "I really appreciate you making the effort to come all the way up here and vanquish me and all. But, I'm kinda indestructible.""Yeah, I can't be killed. I'm surprised nobody mentioned that to you. I'll admit though, you've gotten farther than anybody else ever has. I bet they'll make a statue or something in honor of you somewheres.""I can honestly say it'll be a pleasure and an honor to burninate you, Rather Dashing."Aw that sure was nice of him!Congratulations! You've won! No one can kill Trogdor but you came closer than anybody ever! Way to go!

Trogdor's posh lair

0

(credits)

Peasant's QuestWritten by Matt, Jonathan, and Mike

3D

0

(credits)

Programmed by Jonathan

1E

0

(credits)

Graphics by Mike and Matt

3A

0

(credits)

Quality Assurance Types:Neal Stamper,Don Chapman, and John RadleNice work on winning and everything.THE END

There are several messages that the game may return while Rather Dashing is answering questions of The Three Keepers of Trogdor. The simplest way to complete this part of the game is to bribe the Keepers; the messages returned in this case are listed above. If Rather Dashing has not acquired the three items necessary to bribe the Keepers, however, he must answer a question from each of them. The messages returned while answering their questions are listed here.

After each Keeper's introductory message, at the command "take the quiz", the game responds: You shake off the Keeper of Trogdor's request. Seriously - this guy should get a job.

How dare you enter this fairly sacred chamber!You explain that you're here to smote Trogdor and if he doesn't get outta your way, him too!You cannot vanquish Trogdor! Only the Three Keepers of Trogdor hold the tools with which to destroy the Burninator. The Trog-Shield, the Trog-Helmet, and the Trog-Sword.And the only way we'll give them up is if you answer the three Trog-Trivia questions correctly.

"Sorry peasant! You fail! And as punishment, you will be turned into...RON CUMBERDALE!!"
You ask who the crap Ron Cumberdale is.
"Just this kid from 4th grade that I really hated. But he was a BIG LOSER and HE SMELLED!"
Well, you not exactly dead. But there's no way you could defeat Trogdor as Ron Cumberdale. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.

"WRONG! You are hereby cursed to write corny folk songs for the rest of eternity! The kind that only OLD PEOPLE LIKE!!"
Well, you not exactly dead. But you certainly can't face Trogdor after writing 'Wheat Grows Sweet, But My Gal's Sweeter'. Your quest ends here. Thanks for playing.

"Uh oh. You got it right. Trogdor's gonna kill me. Okay, you can have the Trog-Sword. Just promise not to kill any Trogdor's with it, kay?"
You just stare at the Keeper blankly.
"Okay fine! You can have the dumb thing anyways. Trogdor's through the beaded curtain over there."
The fabled Trog-Sword is yours. You now have the means to strike down Trogdor. Good luck, peasant.

YES! I was hoping you'd get mine wrong. No Trog-Sword for you. In fact, no skin for you either!
Wow. You sure dead. You had a good run, though. Thanks for playin.

Note: if you fail to provide "A", "B", or "C" as an answer to any of the above questions, the Keeper will ask the question again, replacing the first sentence with the following one: Peasant fool! Choose A, B, or C!

Inside Mysterious Cottage: This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.

Wavy Tree (B4): Nothing special here except for that weird wavy tree.

Kerrek Tracks 2 (C4):{same as Kerrek Tracks 1}

Outside Baby Lady Cottage (D4): There's a ranch-style thatched roof cottage here. There are also what appear to be four crunch berry bushes but you can't be sure.

Inside Baby Lady Cottage: What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. A lady rocks her baby in a chair. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.

Inside Baby Lady Cottage:{after the baby lady leaves} What a depressing little cottage. It reeks of single parent. There is one of those self-rocking chairs. A mostly empty shelf sits against one wall.

Burninated Trees (E4): A signal lantern of some kind hangs from a burninated tree.

There are some helpful residents of Peasantry who will provide you with tips about how to proceed in the game. While these conversations are not necessary for completion of the game, many are important to the game's storyline.

You explain your situation to the knight. That Trogdor burninated your cottage and you've sworn revenge. You ask for passage up the mountain to settle your score. (Press RETURN to advance through conversations)"Hang on there, Trogdorkilla," says the knight. "I can only allow actual peasants up the mountain pass to face Trogdor. And you CLEARLY are not one.""Look, Dragonheart...""You don't STINK like a peasant.""You don't DRESS like a peasant.""And you're definitely not ON FIRE like a peasant.""Once you're those 3 things, come back and maybe we can talk.""Be sure to LOOK around lots. Talk to everyone you see and ASK ABOUT stuff. Type HELP if you get confused and INVENTORY to see your worldly stuff. Type SAVE or LOAD to save or load your game. Duh."

"Hello, I'm-" you start but the lady cuts you off"Okay, here's why I let you in here," she explains. "My husband got squished by Trogdor. And to make matters worse, the insurance riches I got were stolen by Jhonka. Go steal them back for us and I'll give you something great."

There are many messages that the game gives you when you input commands that are not essential to the game's storyline. Here is a list of all that have been found. When more than one option is given, such as "get/take _____", either word will produce the same response.

(to Baby Lady) - "This little guy's all I got left. If only someone would steal back all our riches from that filthy Jhonka."

Fire:

(to knight) - "Well, whenever I see peasants, they tend to be on fire. So get yourself on fire. I hear horse grease gives a nice, controlled burn."

(to baby lady) - "You need fire? A couple of trees over by the waterfall used to be on fire. But now there's like a signal lantern over there or something." / "So should I ask that signal lantern?" you ask. / "I dunno man! Whattaya want from me?"

(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him," says Mendelev. / "Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and..." / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / "Oh. Nevermind," says Dongolev. "Um, yeah. What's a fire?" adds Mendelwhatever.

(to Jhonka) - "Kerrek smell! Now Kerrek dead!" screeches the Jhonka. So you can infer from this that all smells are dead? You always sucked at the analytical questions.

(to innkeeper) - "Well, if you don't stink, maybe find something that does and wear it. Like a dead carcass or summat."

trogdor:

(to knight) - "If I had a gold coin for every whining peasant's cottage that freaking dragon burninated, I'd be rich as a jhonka."

(to baby lady) - "I hope you kill that stupid dragon. My 'Wives of Squished Peasants' support group would bake you a Poor Gary pie if you did."

(to Mendelev and Dongolev*) - "Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!" says Dongolev. / "Hey, shut up! That was me!" interrupts Mendelev, "YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!" says Dongolev. / "Did not!" / "Did so!" / "Did not!" / (You see where this is going.)

"buy kerrek a cold one" (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "The kerrek is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. You've really cheesed him off now." Warning: This speeds the Kerrek up, so be careful. This command was first seen in the email for kids.

"get a room" (when on fire) - "\oard of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway."

"get/take/steal _____"

"(anything not listed and not relevant to the plot)" - "You probably WISH you could get that."

"arrow"

(at the archery range) - "They have 'RANGE' printed on them, so it would be kind of embarrassing to have to shoot around with them. Also, that guy over there is giving you the evil eye."

(at the secret glen while Dongolev is there) - "Something tells me now's not a good time." {you get the arrow anyway and Dongolev shoots you} "It wasn't a good time. Hey, my mom's making peasant-kabobs for dinner TOO! Right. Anyway. You dead. Thanks for playing, and try not to die." (Warning: As you can see, this kills you.)

(at the secret glen after getting the first arrow OR at the secret glen after getting the second arrow after killing the Kerrek) - "You're pretty much all set on the arrow front. They're kinda cool, though."

(at the secret glen after killing the Kerrek) - "You grab yet another arrow from the tree hoping to get some bonus points."

(at Kerrek's body after killing the Kerrek) - "Eww! No way. That thing's got some serious Kerrek-Brand kooties on it now."

"baby" (inside the woman's cottage, while she has the baby) - "'You want to be a part of this family? GO GET US THOSE RICHES!!' she shrieks."

"bell" (in the inn, after getting a room) - "You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded to the desk."

"belt" (after getting it) - "You totally got the belt already, as evidenced by the rancid cloud of odor that follows you like a shadow."

"berries"

(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - "You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b."

(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - "You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser"

(outside Jhonka's cave, before jumping in hay) - "The Jhonka will see you! And rip out your jugular with his teeth or something equally horrible."

(inside the woman's cottage, after giving the riches) - "We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating."

"trinket"

(inside the woman's cottage) - " 'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!' "

(inside woman's cottage after giving trinket to Mendelev) - "'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize."

"go _____" (anything or letter can be put in here) - "Use the arrow keys, pal. Just like a joypad only more like your day job."

(at Poor Gary's glen, before scaring him) - "You attempt to cause Poor Gary harm for no good reason other than you kinda suck at this game. {Poor Gary kicks you} WOW! For a decrepit old horse, Poor Gary still packs a mean whallop. You dead. Thanks for playing." (Warning: Needless to say, this kills you.)

"inn" (outside the inn) - "Looks okay from out here. But do they have a free breakfast buffet?"

"jhonka" (at the Jhonka's cottage when he's outside) - "The Jhonka is gray and grody. He's got a cromagnon forehead and jaw with a pair of wicked incisors. He sports an old loin-cheese cloth and carries either a big club or one of those roasted turkey legs you got at the Ren Fest."

"kerrek"

(in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - "It's the Kerrek, you moron! Get outta here!"

(immediately after killing him) - "He dead. And the only thing of value on him is his stinky belt buckle."

(in the inn) - "If you sleep in that bed, you're NOT putting your head on that nasty pillow."

(in the woman's cottage) - "Swedish foam. Your favorite."

"pot" (in the inn after getting a room) - "It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful."

"rock"

(by the stream) - "The ages have worn this rock down. It is a rock of ages. Still a-rollin."

(at the mud patch) - "That rock's not doin' a whole lot for me."

(at Naked Ned's cottage before removing it) - "There appears to be a loose stone towards the back of the cottage."

(at Naked Ned's cottage after removing it) - "Some jerk removed a loose stone from the back of the cottage."

"rug" (in the inn) - "Maybe that used to be a magic carpet. But it's sure a cat pee-stained carpet now."

"sand"

(at the fisherman's lake) - "One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty two... One million three hundred thousand seventy-four hundred and sixty three... Drat! You lost count again."

(at the west side of the lake after getting the pebbles) - "Remember those pebbles on the beach? Man, those were good times."

"shelf" (inside the woman's cottage) - "Nothing but a bag of chicken feed."

(the same bush twice outside the woman's cottage) - "You already searched that bush. It was okay. Nothing to write home about... oh, wait... you don't have a home. My b."

(after you've gotten the trinket, outside the woman's cottage) - "You've searched your fill of berry bushes for this game. If you want to search more press 'reload' on the browser"

"save" (in the Kerrek's domain while he's still alive) - "You can't be fumbling with a floppy while the Kerrek is bearing down on you."

"scare horse" (at Poor Gary's glen, before getting the mask) - "You tell Gary the "THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!" one but he doesn't act very scared. He's probably heard it before." or: "You tell Gary about how much cholesterol is in hay and how his arteries are probably all black and clogged. He shrugs it off." or: "You tell Gary the story about the kid who pops this big zit he has and all these baby spiders come out. It doesn't phase him."

"sit on stump" (at Poor Gary's glen) - "Are you THAT bored?! Do some questing already!"

"skip stones" (at the west side of the lake) - "You've always been terrible at skipping stones. And you're even worse at just plain throwing rocks in lakes. You decide to save yourself the embarrassment."

"slay trogdor" (while Trogdor's asleep, in his lair) - "Like how?"

"sleep _____" (can be followed by anything or nothing) (inside the woman's cottage) - "That's probably how the first baby got here. Forget it."

"sleep/sleep on bed" (in the inn while the man is there) - "You probably want to talk to that stinky old guy over there about that."

(at wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- "You startled him and he disappears!"

"talk ____"

(someone not in the screen, inanimate, or nonexistent; anywhere) - "It's sad when you have to make up people to talk to."

"baby" (inside the woman's cottage, before you get the baby) - "You say some cute, stupid stuff and the baby just blows snot bubbles."

"gary" (at Poor Gary's glen when he's there) - "Your attempts at conversation are met with horse grunts and tail flaps. Which is better than you do at conversation with most people."

"jhonka" (while inside the hay) - "Not now! You'll blow your cover!"

"kerrek" (in the Kerrek's domain while he is alive) - "'Me llamo Julio,' you begin... It seems only to further anger the already tempramental Kerrek. That stupid 'Learn Kerrek in 3 Weeks' cassette did nothing for you!"

"lady" (inside the woman's cottage after she's gone) - "You'd call out her name and let it ring through the empty room, enveloping you in sorrow, but you don't actually know her name."

"Naked Ned" (at the wavy tree, with Naked Ned visible)- "'Never speak of this meeting!' says the nudie and he disapperars."

"tree" (at the wavy tree) - "Trees can't talk but a breeze picks up and you swear the leaves whisper the words 'Naked Ned.' Weird."

(anywhere but the west side of the lake) - "Hmmm. Maybe try someplace else."

(at the well) - "Throw it where?"

(at the west side of the lake before getting the baby) - "I think you misread the walkthrough on GameFAQs. You gotta get the baby first."

(at the west side of the lake after getting the soda) - "Baby Dashing is a little waterlogged from the toss, and you read his soft gurgling to mean that there's no more soda left."

(anywhere without the baby) - "You don't even have two babies to rub together."

"feed"

(at the east side of the lake before getting the feed) - "You have nothing with which to do that...with."

(at the east side of the lake after throwing the feed) - "You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!You already fed the fish. Let's get moving here, people!" (The repetition is probably just a goof.)

(at the well, before getting the pebbles, on the other side of the screen) - "You can't reach from there."

(at the well, before getting the pebbles) — "It won't budge. Maybe if there was something heavy in that bucket..."

(at the well, after you get the maskus, on the other side of the screen) - "You got a short reach to match your short pants. Try standing closer to that crank."

(at the well, after you get the maskus) - {first time} "Down she goes! You could do this all day!" {second time} "The drama grips you, but the bucket is empty. On the bright side, you're getting a pretty sweet workout for your Deltoidus Rex muscles."

"Yes" (to the Jhonka when he asks you about his riches) - "'I KILL YOU!!' screams the Jhonka. {The Jhonka clubs you to death} Club or turkey leg, the jhonka sure just beat you senseless with whatever he was holding. You dead. Thanks for playing!" (Warning: Obviously, you will die.)

(Walk too close to the Kerrek) - {The Kerrek pounds your head into the ground} Your mom always told you not to take head poundings from strange Kerreks. And NOW looks what's happened. You dead. Thanks for playing.

(Walk in the path of Dongolev's arrows) - Hopefully this guy will have some sense and not shoot you. {Dongolev shoots you in the head} That guy has no sense. He shot you. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Nice one, William Tell. You dead. Thanks for playing.

(Leave the screen after putting the baby in the bucket) - Nice try. Ditch the baby at the bottom of the well, eh? Thought you'd be able to just walk away and it's nothing by mead and wenches from now on, huh? Well guess what? You dead. Thanks for playing.

(Hit by rock or pterodactyl when climbing the cliff) - {You fall to the ground and lie in a heap} Oops! You climbed real bad. You knew that you were AVOIDING the rocks, right? Not collecting them. Anyways, nice try. You dead. Thanks for playing.

(Walk too close to Trogdor while he's asleep) - {Trogdor burninates you without waking up} Yow. Looks like you got a little too close. You dead. Maybe next time don't get too close.