When you live here, I sometimes forget about all these wonderful things our state encompasses. And you can literally head to any of these places for a day trip from Portland, OR. Which we did yesterday.

We headed out east to The Columbia River Gorge. And it didn't disappoint.

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At the base of Horse Tail Falls﻿

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Wakeena Falls﻿

I just realized that I didn't take as many pictures as I normally do, but, that is ok, I was trying to be in the moment.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Holy cow. I mean seriously. I have not written a blog post in months. I would love to say that my family and I went off the grid and were traveling the world and all it has to offer, soaking it all in ...but alas, nothing that exciting has happened. LIFE. is what has happened.

LIFE and all the responsibilities i.e. family, kids, work, just take over. Kinda funny how that works. Sometimes being an adult just sucks the life out of all the fun. LOL. I am sure everyone can relate to that at some point or another.

Tyler had another football and now basketball season under his belt. He didn't end up having much of a football season because on the 3rd game, he was hit real hard from the front/back simultaneously and landed in the hospital for 4 days with a collapsed lung.

Then from there it went right into his 16th Birthday and the holidays. Yes, he is 16 now and chomping to get his license. He has his permit and has been driving with everyone but me. I think I have taken him driving 3x now. My heart just couldn't take it early on. I am sure he is much better now so maybe, just maybe, we will venture out again soon. I said MAYBE.

He got his first job. He starts this week. He is hoping that he can save enough for a car by the start of next school year.

You wanna build a snowman?

Holidays of course was a whirlwind of doing this, that and the other. Going here, there and everywhere. Each year I say next year we are going to do things differently. Well this year, I mean it. I would really love to just take the money that we spend on toys that are broken in less than a week and put it towards a holiday away and then maybe just get one coveted gift for each. Maybe rent a house up on the mountain or beach. Sounds so nice right about now.

Fast forward to these past couple weeks and Hayden, our 7 year old has been seriously sick. He has had a fever since Feb 17th that has come and gone, only gone for like two days. He was in the hospital for two days last week, discharged, a few days went by with a low grade fever and then it came back again this past Thursday. No underlying symptoms. They ran every test known to man and can't figure it out. Some super virus. Scary. We took him back to the Dr. again on Friday and again nothing. Keep him comfortable, push the fluids, control the fever with Advil/Tylenol is what they say. Again, scary. So here we are. It is Sunday and his fever is still hovering at 100 but he seems to be coming around again. He is finally eating a little bit. The sun is shining here today so we are going to get him out in the sun for some much needed Vitamin D. I am hoping that this is the last of it. It is so hard to watch your children when they are sick and there is not much anyone can do for them.

Hayden with our new addition Lucy.

The youngest and the oldest are both doing well. The oldest is still going to college, working, living on her own a few blocks away. She is seriously starting to talk about buying her first house. The lending market is good here but the house market is a sellers market so we shall see. The youngest is growing like a weed and looking forward to starting kindergarten in the fall. She is as cute as can be and like a sponge. She soaks it all in and then some. Really have to be careful around that little one. She just melts our hearts.

At her big brothers last basketball game

How are you and your family doing? I feel like I haven't read, commented on, lurked much on any blogs lately...I guess I really haven't. Hoping that I can get back into writing some. I do miss it.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

I know not a very good thought or visual. But seriously, I would really rather be doing that than what I am doing now. Not this very second of course because I am sitting here writing a blog post for you lovlies...which I haven't done, once again, in quite a while.

If you have read my blog for any length of time, you may be able to guess what I am doing instead of "Poking My Eyes Out With Needles."

Figured it out yet?
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SHOPPING!

Yup, loathe it...but I have to do it at least once a year right....my kids do need clothes. Actually, we do go more than once a year but it is the bare minimum of shopping time. Get in, get out. Get it done.

I am not one of those moms that can go to the mall all day, just walking around, window shopping. I have never been and never will be.

Instead right at this moment, I am sitting in the corner of the food court at the mall, while the boy (almost man) is off shopping on his own. I gave him a wad of cash and told him how many outfits he had to at least come back with...and here I sit. I haven't seen or heard from him in well over an hour at this point.

I had lunch. People watched for a bit. Surfed the internet. Fiddled around on Facebook. And now I am here. Yes, I brought my lap top because I figured I would be here a while and why not be productive. In all honesty, I brought my laptop as a last resort. I had to break it out to entertain myself because I was starting to fall asleep on these cozy couches they have tucked over in the corner of the food court. I figured nobody wants to hear me snoring or wipe my drool.

And for people watching. I do love me some people watching. Just as I was wrapping up this post a young couple sat down. Both heavily tattooed. The women, all belly, pregnant. They took out the cutest little TMNT onesie with some booties. The momma didn't seem to keen on the purchase but the dad, loved it, of course. Then shortly after that a little boy goes running by with his dad quickly in tow, shouting that he has to go poop. LOL. Which reminds me when I was in the bathroom earlier today and the little girl in the stall next to me was giving a narrative while her mother was going to the bathroom. Don't you love that. I just posted on my Facebook page a couple weeks ago about this. My kids always do that..so embarassing. Do your kids ever do that?

Have ya'll finished up your back to school shopping yet? Ya'll that is funny. That just reminded me of Wille Robertson from Duck Dynasty in God's Not Dead. Seen the movie? I have now watched it 3 times. Such a good movie with such a great message....

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Has your faith ever been tested? What are you willing to sacrifice?
BTW, at the end of our shopping trip, we indulged in this...so the couple hours in the mall was worth it.

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Yes, that is a heaven scent sent #Cinnabon. A whole bunch of gooeyness. Yum!

3. It has been rough this past year. 3 family members passing. I have not been handling it all that well on a personal level and it is clearly obvious. I am a hot mess more often than not.

4. We have been having a bit of a heat wave round the parts , last couple weeks, coupled with working longer hours, I can probably count on one hand how many times I have actually made a full sit down meal for our family. It's a wonder why our bank account seems empty and our waist lines are expanding.

5. I need will power. I need to will myself to blog more, take more time for myself doing whatever I want and not apologize or feel guilty for doing so (but this is so extremely hard given #7).

6. I need to let go or just go on strike. LOL. So I have a little OCD which has always been a work in progress where I can't just be (for the most part anyways). For example the floor needs to be swept; if I am home, if it needs to be done, I can't relax until I do it. And because of my OCD often times I end up doing quite a bit more in the housekeeping arena. Since OCD is my own issue, I try and own it but on the other hand I feel at times, others take advantage of it.

7. This is heavy. Our son Hayden was diagnosed with ADHD about a year and a half ago. It makes me angry, sad, depressed, mad, guilty. I could go on. I don't talk about it much to many. At times, I feel like we are in our own private heck dealing with what comes with having a child with ADHD. I know that sounds silly because I know how prevelant it really is (and I know there are plenty of families with children who are much worse with cancers, disabilities, etc so please don't take this out of context). I hear the statistics. Our son is now included in that. My heart breaks.

What are you struggling with? Don't be shy. I know I am not the only one out there. I feel sometimes these confessional posts are a bit freeing. I can validate my failures and somewhat move on. Not that they go away by any means but....You know what I mean, right?

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

My mom passed away unexpectedly last Wednesday May 14, 2014; 3 days after Mother's Day, 2 days after my birthday, 5 days before the 1 year anniversary of grandma's death. It has been a rough week to say the least.

I wrote a eulogy for her memorial service tomorrow.

Mom.

So many memories get conjured up when I think of our mother, Deborah. It's hard to even fathom her death, let alone sum it up into a page of
words of what she means to me, to us. I sit here writing this in my car,
peering out into an empty park, gazing into the sky at Mt. Hood. A great vast
mountain, volcano if you will, a force to be reckoned with.

Mom.

A force to be reckoned with. She was that. She fought hard, she played
hard, she laughed hard, but most of all she loved hard. She loved just about
everyone she crossed paths with and you knew it; even loving those that have
done her wrong. She had a big heart and contagious smile. A heart and a smile
that I will dearly miss.

Although, she mellowed in her older age, I can remember numerous times in
my younger years, if you messed with her or anyone she loved/cared for, you
better watch out. It would only be a moment before she would be coming for
you. She might of been small in stature but she made up for it in personality.
One memory that sticks out in my mind, was when I think I must have been all of
5 or 6, James just 2 or so at the time, pre car seats. Someone jay walked in
front of our car as we were accelerating, we had to slam on the breaks to avoid
hitting the person, which ultimately threw James and I out of our seats in the
back, onto the floor. Of course we were crying. Mom was livid. We literally
pulled into the parking lot of where the person was and Mom let them have a
piece of her mind via a broken windshield. No holding back. I think the cops
may have even been called. Ok, so not the best memory but goes to show don't
mess with momma bear and her cubs. That was her.

Mom.

She had a rough life especially these last couple years. She battled
addiction for many years but was clean for many, had some health scares but thought most of them were under control, she divorced, but she always came back full
circle. She soldiered on when most others may have given up. She was a
fighter.

Mom.

I talked to her several times on Mother's Day and on my birthday May 12th,
it was just like any other time we talked. Just chatting about the goings
on in our lives at the time, asking about the grandchildren, work, etc. Even
though states divided us we talked often and it was almost as if she was right
down the street. Nothing extraordinary came out of our frequent calls, the call
on Mother's Day or my birthday and that is probably how it was meant to be.
Casual conversation, between a mother and her daughter, nothing out of the
ordinary yet now I consider them extraordinary, those last talks. A memory that
I will cherish and hold dear forever.

In closing, as we have all soldiered on this past week as mom would have
wanted us to do, I keep coming back to a couple verses from one of my favorite
songs.

We pray for blessingsWe pray for peaceComfort for family,
protection while we sleepWe pray for healing, for prosperityWe pray for
Your mighty hand to ease our sufferingAll the while, You hear each spoken
needYet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if
Your blessings come through raindropsWhat if Your healing comes through
tearsWhat if a thousand sleepless nightsAre what it takes to know You're
nearWhat if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

As hard as it is to accept, I truly believe mom's "peaceful" passing IS a
blessing in disguise. I am sure she is now whooping it up in Heaven , maybe
even questioning authority at the holy gates, running into the arms of the other
family members we have lost along the way.

I love you Mom. Forever on my mind and in my heart. Never EVER
forgotten.