This is the last joke done by
Robin Williams at his Weapons of Self Destruction show.
The joke is a tribute to Walter Cronkite and his love for blue
jokes. In the joke little Timmy walks into his parents
bedroom during sex. Click on either source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, to listen and see this wonderful, dirty joke.

One day little Johnny heard a
noise and peeked into his parents room to check it out.
He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser
and dad going at it behind her. Johnny's dad saw
him and gave him a little wink as Johnny closed the door.

After business was finished Dad
went to check on little Johnny. He opened his
bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the dresser and little
Johnny going at it behind her.

Click on the above source, or
'HERE'
for my copy, to see this very funny video.

TopSubj: Sex
With A Nymphomaniac (S594)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/11/2008

Jon was looking for a little
"action." He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took
her back to his hotel room.

Little did he know that she was
darn near a nymphomaniac. After six times having sex,
she was screaming for more. After the eighth time, Jon told
her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.

On the way out, he stopped into
the men's room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped
his pants, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't
find his tool.

After a couple of minutes fishing
around, he finally said, "Look, it's okay. She's not
here!"

TopSubj: George
Burns And Oprah Have Sex (S504c, S697)
From: darrell94590 on 9/20/2006 and
From: allenbergman on 5/24/2010

When George Burns was 97 years
old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah asked, George, how do you
carry so much energy with you? You are always working
and at your age I think that is remarkable. George
said, I just take good care of my- self and enjoy what I do when
I do it.

Oprah said, I understand you
still do the sex thing too, even at your age. George
said, of course I still do the sex thing and I am quite good
at it. Oprah said, I have never been with an older man,
would you do it with me?

So they had sex and when they
finished, Oprah said, I just don't believe I have ever been
so satisfied, you are truly a remarkable man.

George told her that the second
time is even better than the first. Oprah said,
You mean you can really do it again, even at your age?

George said, Just let me sleep
for 1/2 hour. You hold my testicles in your left hand
and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in thirty minutes.

When she woke him up, they again
had great sex and Oprah was beside herself with joy.
She said, Oh George, I am astounded that you could do
a repeat performance and have it be better than the first
time. At your age, Oh My, Oh My!!!

George, said that the third time
would be even better. You just hold my testicles in your
left hand and my penis in your right hand and call me in thirty
minutes. Oprah asked, does my holding and touching you
kind of recharge your batteries?

George said, hell no, but the
last time I had sex with a black woman she stole my wallet!

THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) --
Police say a Michigan man has been \ arrested after "receiving
sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports the
29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in
Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of
Detroit. Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called
to report suspicious activity at the car wash about
6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught
the man in the act.

The suspect, whose name wasn't
immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw
County Jail.

Once, in a small town, lived
a man named Jack. Everyone in town knew Jack was very optimistic
-- even if a situation was terrible, Jack
could always think of a way it could be worse. Everyone
in the town was tired of hearing Jack say that, so one
day they decided to to lie to Jack.

"Jack, the baker Bob found his
wife in bed with another man last night! He shot the
man and then himself! Isn't that terrible?"

This is fun to do. The
only catch is that you can't ask the person who posted it anything
about it! :) Just read the "offense" and if you've
done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read
each "offense" and added up your total fine. Title
your bulletin "My Bar Tab is$..." You don't have to confess your
answers, just the amount of your fine.

Smoked pot -- $20

Did acid -- $10

Ever had sex at church -- $10

Woke up in the morning and did
not know the person who was next to you-- $50

Had sex with someone on MySpace
-- $30

Had sex for money -- $200

Ever had sex with the a Puerto
Rican -- $25

Vandalized something -- $27

Had sex on your parents' bed
-- $40

Beat up someone -- $100

Been jumped -- $20

Crossed dressed -- $11

Given money to stripper -- $30

Been in love with a stripper
-- $25

Kissed some one who's name you
didn't know --$16

Hit on some one of the same sex
while at work-- $22

Ever drive drunk -- $21

Ever got drunk at work, or went
to work while still drunk -- $59

Used toys while having sex --
$40

Got drunk, passed out and don't
remember the night before -- $20

Went skinny dipping -- $30

Had sex in a pool -- $10

Kissed someone of the same sex
-- $5

Had sex with someone of the same
sex -- $10

Cheated on your significant other
-- $10

Masturbated -- $10

Cheated on your significant other
with their relative or close friend --$20

Done oral -- $5

Got oral -- $5

Done / got oral in a car while
it was moving-- $25

Stole something -- $10

Had sex with someone in jail
-- $25

Made a nasty home video -- $15

Had a threesome -- $50

Had sex in the wild -- $20

Been in the same room while someone
was having sex -- $25

Stole something worth over more
than a hundred dollars -- $20

Had sex with someone 10 years
older -- $20

Had sex with someone under 21
and you are over 27 -- $25

Been in love with two people
or more at the same time -- $50

Said you love someone but didn't
mean it -- $25

Went streaking -- $5

Went streaking in broad daylight
-- $15

Been arrested -- $5

Spent time in jail -- $15

Played spin the bottle -- $5

Done something you regret --
$20

Had sex with your best friend
-- $20

Had sex with someone you work
with at work --$25

Had anal sex -- $80

Lied to your mate -- $5

Lied to your mate about the sex
being good --$25

Tally it up and Title it..."My
Bar Tab Is

--------------------------

Lorraine's Bar Tab is $333

Al's Bar Tab is $489

Now I know I've lived a sheltered
life, so you can surely get a score above $600.
What are your scores Sam, Roger, Darrell, Mary, and Gina?

Q. Do I have to be married to
have safe fax? A. Although married people fax
quite often, there are many single people who
fax complete strangers every day. Q. My parents say they never
had fax when they were young and had to write
memos to each other until they were twenty-one.
How old do you think someone should be before they fax? A. Faxing can be performed at
any age, once you can learn the correct precedures. Q. If I fax something to myself,
will I go blind? A. Certainly not, as far as
we can see. Q. There is a place on our street
where you can go and pay to fax. Is
this legal? A. Yes. Many people have
no other outlet for their fax drives and must
pay a "professional" when their need to fax becomes
too great. Q. Should a cover always be
used for faxing? A. Unless you are really sure
of the one you are faxing, a cover should
be used to insure safe faxing. Q. What happens when I incorrectly
do the procedure and I fax prematurely? A. Don't panic. Many people
prematurely fax when they haven't faxed in
a long time. Just start over (most people don't mind
if you try again). Q. I have a personal and a business
fax. Can transmissions become mixed up? A. Being bi-faxual can be confusing,
but as long as you use a cover with each
one, you won't transmit anything you are not supposed
to.

TopSubj: Screwing
Twins (S756)
From: virv on 7/12/2011 A friend of mine has just told
me he's screwing his girlfriend and her twin. I asked, "How can you tell them
apart?" He said, "Her brother has a
mustache."

From: darrellvip on 2/20/2008 (S579b) When I was born , God gave me
2 choices .. 1: I could
have a great memory ... 2: or....I could
be great in bed ...

SHIT ! Now I forgot what I was going
to tell you ..

From: sam.hutkins on 9/10/2009 (S664b
in Black2)Source: http://www.ronn.com/jokes1.html Boy asks his mom "Why am I black
and YOU are white? She says, "Don't even go there. The way that f'ing party went
you're lucky you don't bark!"