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Harry Potter Weekend (a.k.a. Eating My Feelings)

As I explained in an earlier post my sister is moving to Oklahoma because the military told her that she has to. She moves officially in 2 weeks, but she left a few days ago for Alabama for her husband’s Air Force graduation and other military-requirements I wasn’t listening to. I’ve been living with her and my 3 year old nephew for the past 2 months to help out while her husband was away at pilot school and this was my first weekend without them. So I’m coping in a mildly unhealthy way. What, you may ask, is this genius strategy? I’m power watching the entire Harry Potter series while I eat my feelings.

Healthy? Probably not. Helping? Absolutely.

But part of my coping mechanism is also snarky comments, so I’m commentating the whole escapade here.

I should state that I only saw these movies for the first time last year: a friend wanted me to go see the last one with her and I wanted to understand what I was watching so I casually said, “yeah, just let me watch the other ones real quick”. Things I didn’t know when I made that statement:

These movies are crazy long.

There are a ton of confusing names and intricate details that can’t be absorbed at the speed I was watching them.

It’s creepy to watch kids age 8 years in a 3 day period.

Silly Tracy, I did it any ways. I thought it would take 1 day…3 days later I emerged like this-

Need…more…Potter.

It took me so long to finally watch these movies because when they first came out I jumped on the judgy-bandwagon of “it’s witchcraft” and couldn’t hear the good reviews from up on my high horse.

So I watched them all rapid-fire last year and LOVED them, and here I sit for my second viewing and/or therapeutic self-imposed time out.

And thusly we begin!

Friday night=MOVIE #1

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

No joke, I left work early today, went and bought a lot of junk food and settled in with my puppy and this:

And so begins my weekend as a shut-in.

(From here forward this is probably just going to be a series of random commentary, some of which is guaranteed to be incoherent…because, well, this is what it’s like in my brain all the time)

First off, J.K. is super freaking creative. You have to give her that. This story is 75% super weird and 25% I wish I’d thought of this first.

Second- I love that Ron, Harry and Hermoine become friends on the train because some of the best fictional relationships have begun in transit-

Next, the sorting hat is creepy. The whole idea is creepy, the animation is horrifying (you know exactly what it looks like so I’m not going any further). Plus, having articles of clothing judge you is a nightmare of mine come true.

The fact that John Cleese is a ghost makes me ridiculously happy. I love John Cleese…who wouldn’t, he brought us this:

In fact these movies are packed with actors I love. Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, etc etc etc…(more on them later)

I like that Gryffindor’s colors are red and yellow, because we all know that color scheme is just unbelievably attractive together.

Is it just me or does the janitor/grounds guy with the cat remind you of someone else?

Speaking of resemblance, Harry’s dad looks exactly like David Wallace. No wonder he wasn’t around, he was managing Dunder Mifflin.

There’s a mirror that shows you the desires of your heart? I have to imagine that if I stood there I would see some glorious amalgamation of…

Certain parts of this movie are too long…Quidditch. I’m sure that game is probably really interesting and/or creative but……………….oh sorry, I just blacked out from boredom while watching that scene. I don’t watch sports in my normal life, why would I want it jammed into the middle of a plot? I will say though, I love that the piece they chase in the game is called a snitch because the whole time I imagined them seeking him

Because snitches get stitches…this we know

Apparently being British breaks the child star curse! Congratulations, there is a cure. You CAN be a child star and turn out to be a healthy, well-adjusted adult…you just can’t be American.

I don’t know why Draco is scared of werewolves in the woods, they seem friendly, cuddly even-

Who knew that drinking Unicorn blood is what keeps you alive forever? Oh, I guess she did-

Dumbledore is the Morgan Freeman of these movies, because whenever something totally off the wall or confusing takes place he comes out to explain it to Harry and us and soothe us back into a magic-trusting stupor. Thank you Dumbledore, I feel safe again.

I’m calling it: the first one is just not that good. I didn’t really like it last time I watched it and it’s the same this time around too. There is just too much explanation for the cheaters like me who didn’t bother to read the books. So, now that the backstory is out of the way we press on to actual plot…tomorrow…I’m sleepy.