"Chii?"

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"A soul needs a purpose to live..."-Gaara of the Desert

About me

Courtney

I'm a teenage otaku who likes to draw and sew cute plushies. Right now I'm in the middle of more than five animes... Sometimes it can get pretty confusing as to which anime to watch next. I'm trying to learn Japanese... What else? Oh, I can be very random. And obsessive. So beware.

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8/6/07

Poems, Poems, and more PoemsMy Poems, My Thoughts.Thursday, July 12, 2007DepressionDepression does things to youThings you do not want.It will always be you whoIt chooses to haunt.You're an outcastBut no one really cares.It's happening so fastAt you depression tears.It'l always be with you a bitNo matter how you fake.You'll never get time to sitYour life it seems to take.Depression does things to youThings you do not want.But it doesn't have to be you whoIt chooses to haunt.Posted by Courtney at 5:20 PM0 commentsGoing Through the MotionsI'm just going through the motionsNo one seems to know.I'm just going through the motionsNo one seems to care.Posted by Courtney at 5:18 PM0 commentsMonday, June 18, 2007Please visit my BFF's blog!!!http://iheartfang.blogspot.com/Posted by Courtney at 1:31 PM1 commentsThursday, February 22, 2007Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry!i am soooooooooooo sorry! i know i hate it when people don't post comments on their blog, but i did it! i can't belive it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway, i waz going 2 post a poem i wrote back in december, but i can't find it! i'll post it when i find it, dont worry!!!Court4ever Bella + EdwardPosted by Courtney at 1:47 PM3 commentsWednesday, December 27, 2006I Need OutWhat's happening to me?I'm falling apart.Nobody caresnpbody knowa.I'm like a secret,a secret to myself.I want more than thisI deserve more than thisbut they don't care.Nobody cares.I'm locked inside myselfand I lost the key.I want outI need outbut I cannot get out.They don't want me outthey like me where I am.Silent like the dust.Posted by Courtney at 3:59 PM4 commentsSunday, December 3, 2006I Know YouI am silentI am not here.You cannot see meYou do not care.You think you know meBut how could you?Although you do not know meI know you.Posted by Courtney at 9:32 AM4 commentsFriday, December 1, 2006I Am MeI won’t listen to your musicJust to act “cool”.I won’t do any drugsDon’t think I’m a fool.I’m not gonna swearJust to be in your clique.I’m not going to dress in blackThat style just makes me sick.You think you’re so coolBut you’re always skipping class.You think we like your attitudeBut, please, lose the sass.Just because I’m not like youDoesn’t mean I don’t have a life.I don’t do drugs, I don’t swear.I’m not gothic, I don’t care.Just leave me alone, and you’ll see.I am me.Posted by Courtney at 10:25 PM4 commentsTuesday, November 28, 2006Ever watched someone step on a butterfly's wingOr have someone take one of your thingsThought you saw the truth in someone's eyesThen you find out later is was all a lieEver had someone change from friend to foeAs the world around you is stuck on "go"You want to keep dreaming a wonderful dreamTo realize later is's not what it seemsYou wanted to run, but found you can't hideIn a room where there's no one there by your sideI've been where you been...I've seen what you seenSo my word of adivice-- for your life please take careWhat you have now may not always be there.by Katelyn Krieger, from Chicken Soup for the Girls SoulPosted by Courtney at 1:04 PM3 commentsI WishI am scaredI feel fearI just want it to stop.Yelling, screaming, swearingPlease, make it stop.I just want my own lifeI want to choose my collagemy careermy husband.You don't let me do anything.You treat me like a kid.As if I'm too young to decide.I wish you knew,understood,felt my pain.But you can't.I know you can't.And thatis just too sad for words.Posted by Courtney at 12:59 PM1 commentsTuesday, November 21, 2006Mintues Like HoursYou walk into the storeand stride down the aisle.You pick me up andtry to look casual whileyou carry me downto the checkout line.Pull out your wallet,you soon will be mine.Your friends are observingevery move you make.The clerk asks for ID-you show him a fake.You quickly walk downto the front of the store.Your friends are waiting for youas you step out the door.You hop in the carand drive away from the shop.Then you turn off the ignition,and pop off the top.You take a few drinksand pass me around.That’s when you decideto take a drive around town.You turn on your carand put your foot on the clutch.I’m sober, you think,I didn’t have very much.You pull onto the roadwith me at your side,Taking occasional sipsas you enjoy the ride.Then the brakes on the carin front of you squeal.You try hard to stop,but lose control of the wheel.You skid off the road,and you know you have crashed.The dashboard is shattered,the windshield is smashed.Minutes like hours,You’re in treacherous pain,that washes your senses,envelopes your brain.The screams all around youare faint to your ears,as life flashes before you,your hopes and your fears.Minutes like hours,you please and you pray,I’ll never touch it again,just let me live one more day.Your mind starts to go dark,it falls apart piece by piece.And then you slip into blackness,the pain has finally ceased.Before you entered that store,you should have thought twice,for I am the substancethat cost you your life.Vidhya Chandrasekaran, from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul IIIPosted by Courtney at 5:03 PM4 commentsMonday, November 20, 2006Somebody Should Have Taught HimI went to a birthday partybut I remembered what you said.You told me not to drink at all,so I had a Sprite instead.I felt proud of myself,the way you said I would,that I didn't choose to drink and drive,thought some friends said I should.I knew I mad a healthy choice andyour advice told me was rightas the party finaly endedand the kids drove out of sight.I got into my own car,sure to get home in one piece,never knowing what was coming,something I expected the least.Now I'm lying on the pavement.I can hear the policeman say"The kid that caused the wrek was drunk."His voice seemed far away.My own blood is all around me,as I try hard not to cry.I can hear the paramedic say,"This girl is going to die."I'm sure the guy had no idea,while he was flying higy,because he chose to drink and drivethat I would have to die.So why do people do it,knowing that it riuns lives?But now the pain is cutting melike a hundred stabbing knives.Tell my sister not to be afraid,tell Daddy to be brave,and when I go to heaven toput "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.Someone should have taught himthat it's wrong to drink and drive.Maybe if his mom and dad had,I'd still be alive.My breathe is getting shorter,I'm getting really scared.These are my final moments,and I'm so unprepared.I wish you could hug me, Mom,as I lie here and die.I wish that I could sayI love you and goodbye.Retold by Jane Watkins, from Chicken Soup for the Teenage SoulPosted by Courtney at 1:27 PM0 commentsSunday, November 19, 2006AloneI'm aloneconfusedforgotten.I don't know what to saywhat to dowhat to think.Doesn't anybody love me?Want me?Need me?I'm sadangryunwanted.I feel painhatesorrow.Please, sombodyhelp me-now.Posted by Courtney at 1:05 PM0 commentsSuffocatingI am suffocatingAnd I just need to breatheI'm smothered under pressureI must be relieved.Nothing I do is right,Nothing they say is fairI cry and scream and throw a fit,But no one seems to care.Nobody will listen,To what I have to say.My life is not important,Yet I'm living every day.I can't do what I wantI cannot stay out lateHere I sit and write this poemTo release my pain and hate.I'm confused and I'm aloneI'm lost in my mind.No one will search beyond my looksTo see what they might find.So many thoughts confuse me,Feeling I can't perceive,In this time of adolesenceAnd I just need to leave.None of it makes senseNone of this feels real.And noone understandsThe emotions that I feel.I'm still suffocatingAnd I still need to breatheI'm smothered under feelingsLet me be relieved.by Marion Distante, from Chicken Soup for the Girl's SoulPosted by Courtney at 1:02 PM4 comments