Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Anyway, the Universal Khaki (ended up going a shade darker than my original choice) is finished AND I LOVE IT. I first saw it in the garage and nearly wept tears of hatred because it wasn't what I had in mind. But they didn't prime the garage with dark primer like they did the inside (not sure why, but whatever) so the inside is awesome. Seriously I love it. It's the perfect mix of warm and cool and I want to bathe in it.

Tonight all the Mindful Grey should be done, and tomorrow the flooring and dishwasher go in. Thursday the plumber and electrician will finish...and from there, I really don't know what's next. Just finishing touches, grading the yard and pouring the driveway/sidewalk. FOURTEEN DAYS.﻿

Monday, July 30, 2012

Today we turn a corner and share the good news that the move is a mere 15 days away. Cue paper bag.

In semi-related news, remember that one time I posted all about my friend Sarah and her fabulous, crafty wares and then linked you to her etsy store and she was on vacation? Yeah, that. Sorry. Anyway, she's BACK! Click here to fall in love and shop 'til you drop.

And for a fun sneak peek into my crafting days of yore, here's two projects Sarah and I completed a few weekends ago...

I bought this jankety old mirrored tray for $3.99. A blast of yellow spray paint and some Windex and voila! A super adorbs tray to keep all my sparkles and shiny things.

Sarah found this old mirror for (I think) $20. She flipped the mirror and painted the backside with chalkboard paint (hello, versatility!) and added a pop of color. The perfect menu board for her kitchen that can also go back to a mirror with a simple flip.

I'm SO excited to do a virtual home tour once we get settled so you can see my other totally random crafting slash gluing slash duct taping projects. I'm actually quite concerned that the mix of everything I've been hoarding for a year is going to be nothing short of Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but whatever. FIFTEEN DAYS.

P.S. - Not to ignore the obvious but thank you to everyone who sent an email or commented on that last, awful blog post. It means more than you know.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I’ve started this post about a hundred times, and it’s strange that I’m even hesitant to type it. I’m never at a loss for words from these fingers. Never. I’ve always maintained that this blog is for me. It’s my outlet, my therapy. So this one is really for me. Not you.

First, I’m sorry to my closest and best, who will read this and wonder why I didn’t tell you in person. Here’s the thing: I can’t. I genuinely cannot speak the words.

On Wednesday, I designed our “We’re moving!” postcards. They were super cute, and signed “Love: Joe, Kristi, Alex & Baby Van Wormer (coming March 2013!).”

On Thursday, we went to dinner as a family—at Alex’s favorite, Buffalo Wild Wings. He calls it the “macawoni restaurant.” We talked about which room he wanted, and which room the baby would get.

On Friday, I started bleeding. Joe took me to the emergency room. We’d been down that road before, so I knew the look in the ultrasound tech’s eyes when she discovered the unthinkable. She didn’t even have to say anything.

I’m not totally sure where to go from here. I was half laughing, half crying on the way home from the hospital, questioning to Joe how lightning could possibly strike twice. He offered a perspective of grace, saying, “Maybe lightning struck once, and Alex is simply our greatest blessing. Maybe he’s the miracle we weren’t supposed to have.”

Even with that, it’s still hard to understand. I know I’m not alone—but still, with miscarriage rates at 4.2% at 7 weeks after a heartbeat is heard, that’s a pretty inaccurate lightning bolt. A lightning bolt that I’m really, really pissed at.

What seems even more unfair and cruel is the physical process of the actual miscarriage itself. Last time, I didn’t have to experience the shittiest parts, because everything was removed surgically. So the “aftermath” was really just some light period bleeding. Nothing, really.

You would think that God would have a little more mercy for the process, you know? I’ll talk about it here in gruesome detail because I don’t think many women (or doctors, for that matter) do. I realize that the body is expelling something, so it’s not going to be easy or pain-free. But my GOD it hurts. It hurts like the fury of a thousand gnomes clambering at your pelvis. When you go to the bathroom you see and smell things that cannot be unseen or unsmelled. And then, to top off this entirely shitty and painful process, you then have to actually pass the mass that used to be your baby. And look at it sitting in the bottom of a toilet. And then flush it down that toilet. Forever. And if you are lucky enough to do that last part at work like I was, you sit in the bathroom shaking for 20 minutes until you have to courage to hit that asshole of a toilet handle and walk away. That might seem like an extremely callous way to put it, but it’s the honest and painful truth.

And then, somehow, I prayed. Well, it was less of a prayer and more of an interrogation with God. I genuinely cannot understand why considering the circumstances He couldn’t make the physical part of this process easier somehow. The emotional part I can get through. This baby simply wasn’t meant to happen. Strangely, I can very easily wrap my head around that. And maybe I’m in the minority with that acceptance, but it’s simply how I feel. The physical reminders are simply unnecessary if you ask me. I give them the big, fat middle finger.

So here we are again. It’s a whole new set of emotions and I am absolutely furious that I have more babies in heaven than I do on earth. I honestly never thought I’d be here, in this place. But with time comes healing, and I know we’ll see the other side eventually.

I’ll repeat what I said last time: Forgive me for being so bold as to say I don't want your sorry. So don't give it to me. Instead, send a smile, hug, or a large Diet Coke from McDonalds. And if you put a little rum in it, I won’t tell.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Which is largely due to that age old "opposites attract" thing, in that I have no actual crafting talent of my own. Ergo, my friends do.

Specifically, Sarah. Sarah has more talent and creativity in her left pinky than I will ever dream of having. She has a gift and has been smart and savvy enough to use it.

You've heard me brag about her before, as she is the owner of her own businesses called so sarah designs. She handcrafts super adorable aprons, fabulous key fobs/wallets, napkins, market totes, iPad cases...girl does everything.

Last weekend was a milestone for her business and I was honored to share in the day with her. For the first time ever, so sarah designs can now be purchased at a retail brick & mortar store. The shop is called Hammer & Thread and is located inside a historic fire house in Allendale, Mich. Sarah is one of a handful of artisans whose wares are available in the shop. It's charming and delightful and I may or may not have purchased many things there. Stay tuned for future new house tours to see some of my finds!

So, if you're local to the area, stop on in. And if you're not, peruse online!

Monday, July 16, 2012

I spent most of yesterday crafting a ridiculous spreadsheet of all the things that must be done before we move. It's a very organized hot mess, which is just how I like it. I have us packing or doing at least 1 "thing" (closet, room, space, area) every night until the Big Day to avoid a frantic frenzy the morning the movers arrive. Hopefully, this works out in my favor and I can be sipping Diet Coke on my porch wearing a tiara and wielding a wand instructing the big, strong boys on where to place all of my shit. Here's hoping, anyway.

Meanwhile, everything at Alex's "different house" is coming along swimmingly. The tile is complete, doors were delivered, and the siding has started. Note in this first picture that the walls are also primed. I sort of love the primer color. I'm tempted to just leave it. And somewhere, the salesman at Sherwin Williams bangs his head against a wall.

﻿

﻿In related news, I popped over to Grand Rapids this weekend for the Grand Opening of a store called Hammer & Thread. It's a shop that has a compilation of handmade artisan goods, and my dear friend Sarah of so sarah designs is one of the vendors! More on that tomorrow...

Sarah and I spent some of our time hunting around all of Grand Rapid's best little hidden treasures, and even spent some time CRAFTING. And by crafting I mean I opened a can of spray paint and read a magazine while she did most of the work. But I digress.

I will share all of our crafting goodness later this week, but meanwhile, please enjoy this gem: a painted (love the color) coffee table with a chalkboard top for Alex's playroom/the den. It was s STEAL for $130 and I might have peed a little when I texted a photo to Joey and he immediately responed with, "buy it." You're welcome, America.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Hey. It's me. I'm over here, hiding in the corner under a blanket and sucking my thumb and probably also rocking in the fetal position.

I officially picked paint colors today. I went one shade darker in the khaki and kept everything else the same. I'll probably hate it, but whatever.

We also had someone sign a lease on our house. For three flipping years. THREE. Literally the best news since Costco started carrying Cheez-its. And also Pop Chips. And maybe wine.

And in other panic-inducing news, I booked the movers today. They'll be on our doorstep in a little over a month. Which means I need to start packing like, yesterday.

For realsies, though, my plan on packing (and I've already started...maybe 15% done) is to pack a box a day until the week before when we really kick it into high gear. I think this will help ease my OCD and need for order in the world, no? Alrighty then.

Monday, July 9, 2012

So after a weekend hunkered down with the Momma and approximately 3,482,904,328,901,849,032 paint chips, I think we've narrowed the choices.

I made the first big selection regarding theme, in that I'm sticking to neutrals and doing beige and grey throughout. Our current house is a perfect mix of blues and greens and yellows (that Joey the bachelor selected) and I love it, but it's really limited my ability (and want) to switch things up every once and awhile. So, in the new digs we're going neutral.

The beige was easy. I went with the shade in the spec house we saw because I know I love it. Relaxed Khaki. For the grey, it was hard to pick one that didn't turn "green" with the beige, but I think I'm going with the darker Mindful Grey. Trim is Alabaster.

Here's all of it in Sherwin Williams' design center. I'm going tonight to buy a quart of each and paint big boards to take over to the house tonight. Thank you, HGTV.

P.S.-In case any of you are riding my sister's crazy train, it is, in fact, Sherwin Williams. Not Sherman Williams, as she has thought for the last 30-odd years. Funniest conversation I've had in a long time. And now all I hear every time I look at my swatch book is Eddie Murphy clapping "Sherman's got relations...Sherman's got relations..." to himself in 'Nutty Professor'.

Friday, July 6, 2012

The day I dreaded most about building a home has officially arrived: paint color selection.

For the record, I can't even pick a pedicure color in less than ten minutes. I also wear black 90% of the time because A) it is my signature color, and 2) it's EASY. No thought required. So, part of me just wants to paint the house all beige like the spec house and never look back, but the other part of me knows that I desperately want glorious, cheerful colors in my home and I will NOT want to repaint a wall basically ever again for as long as I live. It's messy, annoying and causes me to sweat excessively. All things I despise. Therefore, I fully acknowledge that it's better to do it now while I'm paying someone who has a large, efficient spray nozzle, goggles and super tarps, yes? Yes.

So, here we are. My choices:

Cheese and rice I'm legitimately losing my mind. I know I want some sort of gray hue for the master, but which? Popular gray? Grayish? Gray screen? Network gray? Magnetic gray? Respose gray? Yes, those are all real names for paint. They should hire the people of Hallmark & get some better nomenclature. Also, it seems like "popular gray" might be the rather obvious choice here. Check!

The whole first floor is a bit of a conundrum because there's no real great place to switch from one color to another. Plus the entryway has 2-story ceilings so whatever I do in there you can see from upstairs. The lower lever is all one big, open space (which I love), so the only wall that could really be an accent wall of sorts would be the one we plan to put a giant built-in entertainment center on. So that's sort of a bust. I suppose I could do a different color in the first floor bathroom, but I don't know what my theme will be in there yet. DO YOU SEE WHY I AM A CRAZY PERSON AND SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO MAKE THESE DECISIONS?

In summary, please just paint my house beige. Meanwhile, I'll be at Home Goods buying some big, colorful wall pieces to cover it all up.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

This week, Joey is on a man-cation with our dear friend Mark at his glorious cabin on the French River in Canada. You might recall that we usually go together over the 4th, but this year I'm saving my vacation for the move (read: decorating/organizing) and it actually is a really good time for Mark and Joe to reconnect their friendship. You know, bro time and all that.

So, while he's off fishing and grilling and scratching and burping, me 'n my 3 year old partner in crime are rasing a little hell of our own.

Sparklers!

Trips to Target!

(Please note he is wearing Joe's cell phoneholder as his "wallet" so he could buy a toy.)

I honestly just love hanging out with Alex. It's no longer this relationship of me taking care of him every second of every day...it's more of a friendship and hanging out together to do fun and silly things. Don't get me wrong, I'm his Momma first, friend second...but still, it's fun to have my dude as a sidekick. It also helps that Target is one of his favoritest places in all the land. He comes by it naturally.

Anyway, if you need us for the next 5 days please consider looking at Chuck E. Cheeses, the Warren Community Center or Target. Peace out.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

So the house is speeding along rather nicely. In fact, our Realtor told us yesterday that they are 5-7 days ahead of schedule. AHEAD. This means I need to get my rear in gear as far as home practicalities (see also: curtains, lighting, shower curtains) and remove myself from the weekly semi-obsessive trips to Home Goods for all things decorative (see also: cute vases, charming rugs, delightful side tables). Momma needs a functioning home. A cute one, too, but mostly functioning.

As you can see, we now have drywall and brick. Siding should be next. Also, since Joey is away on his man-cation for the next week (more on that tomorrow), I've been entrusted to solely select the bathroom tile and entire house of paint colors. Listen, if he comes back to the cutest little damask tile pattern and wall hues of dark turquoise, mustard yellow and rusty red, I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE.

In unrelated news, I have a strong desire to go antiquing this weekend. Any takers?

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

So I've been putting off this post for awhile now, mostly because I didn't want to jinx it. But also because I didn't want to get tarred and feathered. Because this? Is a hot topic.

Potty training.

It's no big secret that Alex has pretty much been the most awesomesauce kid regarding all things change since being sliced from my loins. Sleeping? 8-10 hours since he was 6 weeks old. Binky? Quit cold turkey and never looked back. Bottles? Day after his first birthday he would have none of it. Solid foods? Shrimp & avocado are two of his faves.

I legitimately did not want to potty train him. Ever. Literally, I could have waited until he was 12 and figured it out for himself and been totally fine with that. I've heard ALL the stories from ALL the moms. I researched ALL the tricks from ALL the experts. I read ALL the articles in ALL the mags. I wanted no part of it.

However, the few moms (of boys) that I talked to that had nothing but roses and ponies and sunshine to share regarding potty training all said one thing in common, "Wait until he's ready."

And so we did.

We've kept a little potty in the loo since about April. It just sat there. We added potty books to his repertoire. We talked about how the big kids at daycare go in the potty. But we only talked.

One day, he asked if he could pee in the big boy potty like Daddy. Seizing the moment, I took him in, lifted the lid...AND HE PEED. And angels sang and I did the "potty dance" and had absolutely no dignity left.

I bought Pull Ups that night. Can I get an amen for Costco?!?

He's never actually used the little potty. I think it was small and freakish to him, and he wanted to be like the big kids. So, I packed it up and got one of these for the magical #2s. For the record? Alex will do anything for Lightning McQueen. Anything. Use these things to your advantage, Moms.

About 2 weeks into the Pull Ups business we went full-on big boy undies (Lightning, natch) and with loads of support from Aunt Jane (daycare), I think it's safe to say we're 90% there. He still sleeps in the Pull Up, but wakes up totally dry 6 out of 7 days. He has yet to have an accident (this is where the jinx comes, I'm sure) and pretty much does the whole routine (sans wiping) himself. It's as if he doesn't even need me. *sniff*

In summary, I have no advice or nuggets of wisdom to share, other than the obvious, "Listen to your kid and do what is best for your family." If this involves waiting until he is 12 out of sheer fear, I support you.