cub

Yikes, I can't believe I'm actually writing something for the Mint Records Web Site! Being the complete internet-phobe I am, I tried to worm out of this little "treat" for as long as I could, but the long arm of Grant Lawrence finally caught me by the collar and sat me down in front of one of these dastardly screens.

Web sites remind me of Charlotte's Web: you know, that lovable story about the little girl named Fern and the pig named Wilbur and the spider named Charlotte. It's sweet, it's cute, it's funny, it's sad. So how does this tie in with web sites?

Well, for that one person out there who never read the book, here's the plot in a nutshell: little girl's loving relationship with cute little piglet is put into jeopardy by the regular farmlike routine, i.e. the hog's up for the chopping block. Along comes the spider who turns the piglet into a celebrity by spinning out beautiful webs containing phrases such as "Some pig!" and "Magnificent" and "Super" and stuff like that. The pig is saved, the little girl is happy and the spider croaks, her job well done and millions of children left behind to carry on her work and her memory.

So the way I see it, this charming children's folk tale is really a parable about web sites. Here we have Charlotte, otherwise known as the brainy computer types, spinning a fabulous conconction of news, hype, gossip, info and what have you for all the little girls out there while cub, uh, I mean Wilbur, just sits around taking mud baths, eatin' slop and cluelessly basking under a sign saying "THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!" And what does it all mean, exactly? Beats me; I've just been struck by an overwhelming urge to go root for truffles.

So I guess that's it for now...

Remember: Never try and teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.