Turtle Princess: Actually, I've never been able to work my T-lumps. I just know what I read in books. (Gasps) Hey! You should write a book telling me how to do it!

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, my Glob! Turtle Princess! I've always wanted to write trashy books for ladies! (Snake hisses at her) YAH! (Hits it) BACK UP OFF ME, RICKY!! (To Turtle Princess) Yeah, everyone needs to know when I work these lumps, no man is immune to their influence!

(Two balls land in front of them. Finn enters.)

Finn: The ball landed over here, guys

Turtle Princess: (Gasps) LSP! Finn would be perfect as the test subject for your lump studies!

(Fionna, Edana, and BMO enter.)

BMO: Yay! I win! (To Fionna) Bow to your sensei!

Fionna: Aaah...

Edana: Hehehe. That's priceless.

Finn: Heh heh heh heh heh heh!

Turtle Princess: (To Lumpy Space Princess) You gotta go undercover and conduct your lump science on him. Prove to the world that even a white knight like Finn is no match for the power of your lumps!

Lumpy Space Princess: I'll do it! For the world! And for you, girl!

Turtle Princess: Oh, girl!

(They both smile. Lumpy Space Princess grabs a plastic grocery bag off the ground and dons it like a spaghetti-strap dress. Scene shifts to the Grasslands; Lumpy Space Princess is going to the Tree Fort.)

Lumpy Space Princess: (Recording herself) Day one: on my way to Finn's. Side-note: I look fresh to death with my new dress and purse. Mm! Mm! Mm! (Takes out a fruit pie and "puts on" its custard before eating the fruit pie; knocks on the Tree Fort's front door; Edana.)

Finn: (To Lumpy Space Princess) Have a good night. See ya in the mornin'.

Lumpy Space Princess: G'night, you guys! (They go upstairs.) (Recording herself) Finn is even more overpowered by my lumps than I thought. I guess at the end of the day, it's all about the lumps. (Her phone rings (Lumpy Space Princess's ringtone is Turtle Princess saying, "Heeey, girl!" repeatedly) and she answers it.)

Turtle Princess: (On other end) Hey, girl.

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, Turtle Princess! This book is coming out awesome!

Turtle Princess: Oh, good, girl! I can't wait to read it!

Lumpy Space Princess: Thanks, girl.

Turtle Princess: Goodnight, girl.

Lumpy Space Princess: Goodnight, girl. (Hangs up)

(Finn, Fionna, and Edana are upstairs, eavesdropping.)

Finn: What the...

Fionna: She's incognito for someone.

Edana: I told you she's trying to steal you away from me, Finn.

Finn: Look guys, let's just play along for the time being. We can interrogate her later!

(Scene shifts to the next morning. Lumpy Space Princess wakes up grunting and drooling.)

Edana: Why bother? She might have a secret evil agenda for all we care.

Finn: She's right. But it's not righteous!

(They attack the wall.)

Lumpy Space Princess: I knew you couldn't resist me, Finn. (The reflection of Finn takes off his hat revealing long, luscious hair.) Oh, lump. I took it too far! (The Mirror Finns reach out for Lumpy Space Princess) My powerful lumps have turned Finn into a grody monster! AAH, NO, AAAAAH!!! (Finn, Fionna, and Edana bust in just in time to defeat the shadow Finns.) OH, I CAN'T LOOK! (Opens one eye) Aah!

(The heroes finish defeating the shadow Finns and pant heavily.)

Finn: Those guys were...me.

Lumpy Space Princess: That was so crazy! What just happened?!

Finn: Oh. Uh, Bubblegum sent us on a quest to destroy these cursed mirrors. Evil stuff happens when you look into them.

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, Glob... I had to look because I looked so good!

Lumpy Space Princess: (To herself) Yeah... A book about how I'm hot, and Finn only wants... He's so... hot. (Gasps in realization and has flashbacks of Finn from earlier moments in the episode.) ...Finn has the hottest lumps, but his lumps are on the inside! YAAAAGH!! (Pushes equipment off desk in frustration) HE'S GREAT!

(Lumpy Space Princess begins typing a new manuscript. As she's typing, it begins to rain, and Finn runs inside. In response, Lumpy Space Princess hurriedly gathers up her manuscript and leaves as Finn enters.)