A Letter to Judy Blume

March 5, 2013

Dear Judy Blume,

Why did you have to die retire on me?*

I mean, I know you thought you’d done your job, lighting the flares and holding the compass in front of me while I stumbled through the path of puberty, and for that I am grateful. Your books were my road atlas.

But Judy, you didn’t think this through, this dying retiring thing. Because guess what? While my puberty is long gone in the dust, I still need you. I need you because my own daughter is in the chrysalis stage–thrumming–waiting to emerge a butterfly.

These changes are whacking me in the jaw and the bowels and I suck at trying to make any sense of it, not that my kid wants to hear it from me anyways, because believe me, I open my mouth and she flees like the Artful Dodger.

But Judy, you always made it seem okay. I’d don a nightgown, hunker in bed, crack open a cover, and in a matter of pages, I’d feel human again. I was home. Awkward, but not alone.

How many young women (Gaa! Gross. I am still in denial and have to clutch the term “girl” in my fist for just a bit longer, so forgive).

How many girls have reached for your words, long past bedtime, flashlight in hand? How many nights, clumsily tented in bedsheets, did we find a slice of comfort in a world where the slices were slim?

Books are timeless; everyone says that. And truly, I believe that most of the time. Words don’t die. But selfishly, I want you with that pen still active, so I can pretend that more wisdom is to come.

That active pen would help me tell me daughter that she is beautiful. Every morning, when D. slumps down the stairs, sleep-drunk and disgruntled, I say “Good morning, beautiful,” and give a hug that she barely endures.

I hope that she’ll get used to being called beautiful, because I never believed it when someone said those words to me. I didn’t see it and I never felt it. But Miss D., I’ll be wrecked if you don’t believe it.

I wave goodbye as my daughter broods onto the school bus and then, suddenly, I drive to the library. I open the books of you, my adolescent muse. I thumb through pages, fighting tears and grinning and laughing at the same time.

Is there any woman my age who doesn’t want to clutch Judy Blume in a bear hug, hold her close, and thank her for her guidance–her service to millions of confused girls? Her words were my satellite, guiding me through murky waters.

I read and read and read. And I felt better.

But.

It makes me wonder. Where is our next Judy Blume? Her words still resonate with such truth, but we’ve come a long way, baby. Where’s the Judy Blume of this generation? My kids see things on You Tube and on television that make “We must, we must, we must increase our bust!” seem a little…innocent. Not that innocent is bad, but time moves at warp speed now, it seems.

Next Judy, I’m waiting for you. Show up, dammit. *swear jar* I need you more than ever.

* A Letter of Apology to Judy Blume,

Judy–can I call you Judy? I kind of think of you as my second mother, so I hope that type of familiarity is okay? I didn’t mean to think you were dead; I think it’s one of those Urban Myths that floats around, kind of like those crop circle thingys(although news of crop circles doesn’t break female hearts everywhere). And while I know you aren’t “retire” retiring, my soul is so wistful for our loss in the YA genre. So while I owe you an apology, at least you know how precious you are. Platinum doesn’t hold a candle to you.

I love Judy Blume – my mother and I were just having a discussion on who to read to an 8 year old Judy or Beverly Clearly. We decided that Bev was probably more appropriate, but that in a few years Judy would have to be introduced!

My older brother has always referred to me The Pain and himself as The Great One.

I was more strongly in the Beverly Cleary camp, but Judy Blume did a great job of delivering the uncomfortable truths of puberty. Plus, like you said, it was much easier getting the information from a book under the bedroom covers than a living, breathing human standing in front of our 11-year-old selves.

I didn’t see anything about Judy Blume dying, and it looks like she was doing guest appearances as recently as last month. Did I miss something? Or were you speaking of a metaphorical death in terms of her work?

What a woman, that Judy. Her words are truly timeless. Wouldn’t it be nice if her books were re-released with new, fresh, updated covers for a new generation (to fool them into picking them up)? If we mothers who grew up with her could make her some sort of secret legend that young girls felt they HAD to read? “Ohhhh, I don’t think you’re ready for THIS!” I also love the idea of *someone* like you taking the legend on with your already completed dedication page! Even if we can’t always say them at the perfect moment, I think we mothers, given time to process, can write them quite successfully. Perhaps many could put their heads together in an anthology. BEST of luck!

Please keep me in mind. I would be delighted to participate! I have an essay being published in the book 51%: Women and the Future of Politics (Sugati, Spring 2013), and write about woman power stuff…stuff young girls have a really hard time with, for reasons I haven’t entirely identified yet. But I’ve been a mom for 26 years, have two grown daughters, as well as an almost 10 y/o son. I think it would be INCREDIBLE to be a part of a project dedicated to the amazingness that was and continues to be through her legacy, Judy Blume.

I loved Judy Blume growing up. Are you there God, It’s me Margaret, was one of my favorite books.

However, now that your daughter is growing up – I suggest this book – It’s by American Girl and its called The Care and Keeping of You. It really helped me explain everything to my daughter – who actually got her period at age 10!

Thank you for clarifying that–I read your first sentence and my heart almost stopped and I immediately went to Google to see if I had missed anything. (I then went to Google Beverly Cleary, and she’s still around at 96.)

Superfudge was my favorite, favorite book growing up because it was so freaking funny, and it made living in New York as a kid to be SO cool. All of the Fudge books captured the humanity of childhood so well, and only a writer as gifted as Blume could turn Shelia Tubman into a complex character rather than just a Lucy Van Pelt knockoff.

I follow her on Twitter and she was tweeting often about the movie version of Tiger Eyes that was made last year and how pleased she was with it, and now I really, really want to see it. Apparently it will be coming out into theaters soon…

Just reading over this post and the comments. Indeed the Tiger Eyes movie was released in the US on June 7 2013 and is widely available on cable VOD, iTunes, Amazon Instant and most digital services (though not Netflix and it will not be on that service for a long time). It is also playing in cinemas in select cities. It is also available via itunes in Canada.

We are working on international distribution and should have some news about Europe, Australia and Asia in the autumn. Check out our website http://www.tigereyesmovie.com or our Facebook page for updates.

I assure you Judy Blume is quite well, she attended many screenings of the film, signing autographs and taking photos. It is true, she is easily reachable on Twitter and enjoys interacting with fans and joining conversations.

That one book that was all about the girl losing her virginity? (Forever, I think it was called.) I totally read that one in secret, hunkered down underneath the covers with a flashlight exactly like you described.

You’re right though, we need the next Judy, badly. Times are a-changin.’ Maybe I should write a book warning young girls of the dangers of sexting? I could be rich!

Most of my sex education came from Judy Blume and Dr. Ruth Westheimer (radio show). I actually went out and bought a copy of “Are You There God…” after I was all grown up just so that I could have it with me in the same house.

I remember reading “Then Again Maybe I Won’t” and learning that guys sometimes just got (using my whisper voice) *erections* in the middle of math class and other random places. It completely blew my mind. Completely.
Also, “Blubber” is such a great cautionary tale: don’t be a bullying ass to someone or else it will come back to bite your butt. What goes around comes around people.

Oh, my Judy Blume books were the best! I think I had/read them all. Yes, even the “bad” one, squished in the back of the fourth grade classroom with some other girls who were far more knowledgeable than I trying to figure out what in the hell the book was actually about. That was back in the days when nine year old actually had to ask what all that sort of stuff meant. *Sighs wistfully* I remember reading those and thinking the topics were…shocking. Love love loved Sheila the Great and oh, just all of them.

i’m so old i’m from the “time before judy blume” so i’m sorry to say i’m not familar with her work. perhaps her books would still hold some meaning for your daughter as some themes hold true for all the ages but just at different paces. as for the next judy blume i can’t also help but wonder if it is not you as scary as that may seem ….

and while it may not seem it i’m betting miss D. is holding that “beautiful” in herself somewhere. do you always say it the same way? i wonder if “tagging” it to something like her smile or her laugh or her courage might not be useful for her also. not that she would acknowledge of course. just a wondering….

I never read Judy Blume. I know. But I didn’t discover books until middle school, and I was desperate to find another reality that just didn’t suck as bad as being that loner-girl stuck in Catholic middle school of hell.
But.
I think I should go and read her.
Because of you.
And you know what. You’re an exellent mom. You’re doing good.

JUDY!!! Gasp. Oh I just adore her and her books. I feel like I grew up with Sally J. Freedman and Sheila the Great and Deenie … so painful and so true and wildly comforting. I can’t believe she is retiring either. I still have the form letter she sent back after I wrote to her.

So I read this and I think…”WHAT? Judy Blume died??” Why wasn’t that on the news? What the heck? And I google her and it doesn’t seem like she died…and I am relieved. You scared me. Good idea though to do the book thing while she’s living so she can appreciate it…

Back in the northern villages of the UK in the 80’s we didn’t have much access to Judy Blume, until ‘Forever’ was purchased by one of the older girls. Because of the content, the local libraries would not loan it out to anyone under 14 (meaning anyone with a kids library card) and even the book shops had an age limit for buying it.

I was 11 but looked like I could be 16. Three weeks running on saturday, I got my mom to take me into the closest town where I purchased copies for my friends, then the book shop figured it out and wouldn’t sell me any more. Those three copies went around every girl in my school aged from 11 to 13. It was a helluva eye opener for most of them, but a damn sight more useful than the single sex ed class they finally gave us at age 12, with the hopeless drawings and the enormous feminine hygiene items (no dry weave top-sheet with wings there!)