Miley Cyrus is a Complete Train Wreck

(And Why It's All Our Fault)

So if you spend any time on social media or paying attention to current events at all, I’m sure you’re familiar with Miley Cyrus’ performance on Sunday Night’s VMA Awards. If you were on vacation (or avoiding social media for the last few days), I’ll give you a minute to go Google it (Seriously, it’s worth the look if you haven’t seen it. Or perhaps even a second look if you’ve only watched it once).

First of all — let me apologize for encouraging you to watch that again. It was horrific, I know. I wish I could unsee it, too. I may never look at my daughters’ teddy bear collection the same way ever again. I happened to be watching it with my husband when it aired, catching the first bit of the VMAs as we were heading off to bed. But that performance? That’s the stuff that nightmares are made of, unfortunately. I’ll admit it — I fell asleep thinking about Miley Cyrus and wondering (in my best Dr. Phil voice) “What in the hell was she thinking?”

Now that I’ve had some time to think about this a little more (and recover from my shock and embarrassment on her behalf), I’m realizing that the blame for Miley’s objectionable behavior rests less with Miley herself and a whole lot more with our society at large.

Miley Cyrus is a product of the world in which she’s been raised. A world that put her under a microscope, first idolizing her as a child when she was far too young to wrap her head around what this fame meant (fixing a hairy eyeball on you, Billy Ray), and then harshly criticizing her for desperately attempting to break away from that squeaky-clean image to create an all grown up persona. The result is a spoiled brat trying way too hard to be grown up when she clearly has no idea what being an adult really means.

And still we watch. We watch and we judge (and believe me, I’m guilty of it, too) as this young girl takes an early start down the winding road to ruining her life. We turn on the tv and watch with horrified delight, and then turn to social media to vilify her for giving us a show that will get all of us talking about it the next day. And talking. And talking.

Here’s the thing. As long as we keep paying attention, like a spoiled toddler, Miley Cyrus is going keep pushing the boundaries and doing whatever it is she needs to do to get a reaction. And for better or for worse, she’s getting more attention than she deserves. And that’s thanks to all of us — a society rabid for the next celebrity to pass judgment on. What I watched this week was a girl in trouble, a girl who will likely keep pushing until she’s ruined her life or worse. And I know that I am, in a small way, responsible for it. Just like everyone else paying attention to her right now.

My suggestion for dealing with Miley Cyrus is the same for dealing with all spoiled brats who are acting out, desperate for attention. Stop paying attention. That’s right, folks, just look the other way. Put your attention on those less controversial celebrities who deserve our attention for better reasons. Sure, Miley’s behavior might intensify a bit in the beginning, as she desperate tries to regain our affection disdain, but eventually she’ll figure out that there are much better ways of getting other people to look in her direction.

I’ll give you a hint, Miley, it’s got nothing to do with stripping down to our spangly underpants and twerking up against a married onstage in front of millions of people.