The “pussy cloning” party I recently hosted was not something I’d ever expected to do – but I’m so glad I did. It all started, like many things, with a twist of serendipity. I taught my class, Mapping the Vulva at SheBop a couple months ago, and a blogger from clone-a-willy was in the audience to write about the class. I knew she was there, but never got to talk to her. A little while later I found the write-up, and it was fantastic.

As I read the article I realized that the company could help me address an issue I’d been struggling with – how to make my vulva class as useful as possible to students, especially when I’m doing it without a live demo.

You see, sometimes when I do the class, I have someone up on a massage table and I demo the touch techniques I’ve discussed. [The live demo version of the class is coming up on August 21st!] But at many venues, this isn’t possible. So I demo on a fleshlight, and sometimes a vulva puppet. This does pretty well, and I still get great feedback on the demo portion of the class, but I’m always looking for ways to improve.

Another point that I stress in my classes, is the wide variety of forms that genital anatomy can take. I show pictures to illustrate my point, but again, there’s always room for improvement.

So I wrote to the clone-a-willy folks and asked if they’d send me some kits to use for making teaching models. That way I’d be able to show a range of anatomy to my students, and show demos on different body types.

The clone-a-willy folks responded immediately and enthusiastically, and before I knew it I had a box on my doorstep, which contained 6 complete kits and 6 extra bags of molding powder.

Next up was the rather odd task of going through the mental rolodex of my friends and partners, and trying to figure out who to ask about cloning. I wanted to be sure to find folks who had bodies you don’t see as much of in the mainstream – such as people with larger inner labia, or a larger clitoris.

It turns out I have a pretty great group of friends, and everyone I talked to was enthusiastic about the idea, and several people suggested other folks that might be a good fit. What was born from these conversations, was the #PussyParty

Although the cloning certainly didn’t have to be a group activity, it seemed a lot more fun to do it that way. So I set a date, sent some invites, and planned snacks. I also told the internet to follow along. Because why not. The evening started with a just a couple of friends and we had a while to chat. Later, more people showed up. Soon I had six guests in my small living room, all ready for an adventure.

We talked for another hour at least before any cloning started. And we read the directions, and reviews online too. Finally, I made the first attempt. Despite the strange feeling of the casting material on my genitals, the mold didn’t take. The casting power had clearly set before it ever touched me. As the night went on, it was a comedy of errors. The next several attempts were the same, with no impressions being made.

But it turned out, that didn’t matter much. We had a room full of women talking and sharing about their bodies, and having a marvelous time. We got to hear about one woman who’d had a labiaplasty as a teenager, we got to hear about one woman’s sensitive clitoris, and another woman’s difficulty reaching orgasm.

The clone-a-pussy activity was facilitating conversations about bodies and sexuality that rarely happen, and that was the real value of the night. But, we were also a very determined bunch. I was amazed by how committed everyone was to the task at hand. So many of my own hostessing anxieties were quelled by seeing what a good time people where having. We spent a good three hours just working on making molds. That extra casting powder came in very handy as each of the 7 of us tried a cast, and then two people made second attempts.

Two of the duds above, and the two best casts below, filled with silicone.

Between each attempt, we all brainstormed what had worked and what hadn’t, and formed a plan for the next try. It was like the best science project that had ever happened (if only I could have taken this to my high school science fair!)

We tried varrying the temprature of the water and varrying the mixing time. We tried several different positions. Ultimately, we came up with two casts that we decided were worthy of silicone.

The silicone had it’s own challenges – because the mold presses flush against the body, there isn’t any extra space for the silicone and so the finished product is pretty thin (I also wish there was a bit more silicone in each kit – for one I had to use the silicone from two kits.) I also used duct tape to build a lip around one of the molds, to try for a sturdier result.

The two finished products are a lot of fun, but they’re almost beside the point. What I’m most excited about is how this tool facilitated a long evening of exploration, silliness, and body positivity. I hope everyone decides to host their own #PussyParty

Want your own clone-a-pussy or clone-a-willy kit? You can buy them at SheVibe.

From a recent date night and product testing, three people, five hours, four of these were used.

If you know me at all, either in real life or on the internet, you probably know I’m a strap-on enthusiast. Not only is strap-on play a favorite in my personal repertoire, but it’s something I teach a variety of classes on (more on that below.) So it wasn’t a surprise when I got a Facebook message from a friend asking me for pegging advice.

It got me thinking about my first adventure with anal sex. I was only 18 and I was with a partner who I’d been doing a lot of exploring with. I remember being very turned on and very eager and telling him to penetrate me when, in retrospect, there had been very little warm-up.

I remember the immediate burst of pain and having him pull out.

These days I’m well-versed in the importance of warm-up, and I go through near industrial amounts of lube.

Because my friend just asked me what dildos I recommend for pegging and what other products I like, it seemed like the perfect time to put that information out there for everyone. Sometimes I don’t know what people don’t know until someone asks me. It’s also the perfect lead-in to some product reviews I’ve been working on.

Wearing one of my many dildos.

First the advice I gave my friend: start slow, and start small. You want to do an awful lot of warm up before you try anal penetration. The good news is, external anal massage feels great, so it’s easy to let that be the main course. When you are ready for penetration, start with just one finger or a small toy. (A toy that’s made for anal play!)

It’s great to let the person being penetrated control the rate of penetration. Let them push back or push down onto you, or let them hold your hand or the toy. Two of my favorite starter toys (that remain fun when you’re experienced) are the aneros and the silk. The aneros you control by hand (and it can be left in place for hands-free play) and the silk can be used by hand or used with a strap-on harness. In fact, I still often use this one with my harness as a warm up before switching to a larger toy.

When the switch to a larger toy happens, my next go-to is the Charm. This is an ideal pegging toy for people with prostates. It’s also my own personal go-to when I’m warming myself up for anal sex.

But strap-ons aren’t just for butts! And that’s a good thing, too, because the two toys Good Vibrations recently sent me to test have serious girth.

A lot of the dildos in my personal collection were purchased with pegging in mind, and I’ve been wanting some bigger toys to use for when I have the opportunity to use a strap-on with another woman.

I tend to take any job I’m given very seriously so I wanted to make sure the Rippler and the Captain went through rigorous testing before I wrote them up. That means I’ve spent a few weeks with them. I’ve tried them on myself, and on partners. I even took them to a queer sex party out in the woods, and it’s a good thing I did, because I found a perfect test subject.

For my body, these two toys are BIG. So when I found a playmate at the party one of the first questions I asked was whether she was a size queen. She answered with an enthusiastic ‘yes’ and I knew I’d found my first tester for the Captain.

Does this dildo make my hands look big?

Before now, I’ve always shied away from realistic dildos. I’m more of a pretty colors and sparkles kind of person. But the Captain is really winning me over. It has some serious heft (it’s possible I also tested it as an impact toy…) and it’s really satisfying to wave around.

An especially neat trait of the Captain is the duel density silicone. That means it’s firm on the inside, and softer on the outside. It has a realistic feel and the softness creates some added comfort which is much needed in a toy of this size.

The only drawback of the soft exterior is that it’s more likely to pick up fluff. I live with two cats and two dogs, so that’s a real issue. But it’s a small price to pay for the silky feel, and giving it a rinse before use is a good idea anyway.

I know the Captain is going to be a favorite in heavy rotation, and I’m already looking forward to my next chance to use it. Not only that, but it’s size makes it especially fun to wear with a harness, even if you won’t be using it for vaginal or anal penetration – it’s a nice treat to watch someone fit it into their mouth. (Non-bio blowjobs are lots of fun too!)

The Rippler in all its ribbed splendor.

Next up, the Rippler. This toy is also girthy, but without the added soft layer of the Captain. The girth is pleasurable for those that like a large toy or the feeling of fullness, and the ripples amplify that effect. Luckily I enjoy a firm toy, and some of my favorites are even stainless steel or glass, so the Rippler’s unforgiving material isn’t a downside for me.

When using this toy with a harness, you need to be pretty careful of your angles, because a miss can be painful. But when you’ve got the right rhythm going, the results are marvelous.

One last shout-out for lube – not only is it necessary for all anal play, and super helpful for using bigger toys vaginally – but you want to use the right lube for the job. As these are silicone toys, be sure to use water based lube with them. I stuck with my favorite, Sliquid, my regular go-to for just about all my lube needs.

Oh, and those classes I mentioned above? One of them is coming up in Seattle on July 9th. If you’re in the area, come check it out. Not only will this class have a lecture and (live!) demo, if you buy a duo ticket you can stay for a third hour of practice, and I’ll be there to help trouble shoot and answer questions. Buy Tickets.

There are affiliate links in this post, so if you follow a link and purchase something I’ll get a commission. Not only are these fabulous companies to support, but this arraignment helps me make a living as a sex educator.

More shopping options:Tantus – You can use the code STELLA15 for a discount.SheBop – My local sex positive, sex toy store, where I’m a regular teacher.Good Vibrations – The fabulous provider of the test-dildos in this post.

It’s Masturbation May and masturbation advice and musings are all over my social media feed. It’s making me recall, with fondness, the time I masturbated to orgasm in front of an audience of around 50 people. It was for a class, and this time I was the demo bottom, not the teacher. My friend was teaching an erotic embarrassment and humiliation class for a kink audience, and I volunteered. The problem was, he couldn’t embarrass me. The masturbation was a final Hail Mary on his part, hoping that, finally, would break me. But it didn’t work.

You see, I just don’t find masturbation embarrassing or humiliating. I remember being a teenager playing truth or dare and having people whisper and giggle about touching themselves. I also remember, even then, being baffled that this was a source of shame, and being surprised that I was the only girl in the room that would openly admit to it.

Knowing your own body is one of the most powerful tools you have to claim your sexual pleasure. I say this every time I teach a sex ed class or work with private clients. You need to know what you like in order to tell a partner. Sure, there’s more to it than that, but it’s an important starting point.

But that’s easier said than done, because we live in a world where threatening to ban dildos and speaking out against masturbation (and many other forms of sex) gains political points. So either the people cheering these comments on simply don’t masturbate, or, more likely, people feel so much shame about it that they publicly support those comments, even though it contradicts what they actually do in private. We’ve seen this before, especially in politics. It’s a great example of shame in action.

I talked about this over lunch with a friend the other day. One of those friends that I don’t see often but we keep up with each other on social media. She was telling me how proud she was of the work that I’ve been doing and that felt really amazing to hear. We talked about how hard it can be, in the face of everything that’s going on in the world, to remember that work around sexuality is vitally important. I told her that some days, when I go to post about my latest class or most recent article, I see the terrible things that are happening in the world and decide that’s a day I should just read, listen, and signal boost other voices.

But we talked about shame, and how many people suffer from it. And how much of a better world it would be if we could all simply live our lives in ways that made us feel happy and fulfilled. If we could all use our bodies for their maximum pleasure potential.

That’s why I keep doing this work, even when it’s hard. Because the only way to change the world is one person at a time. And I do believe that helping people feel more comfortable in their skin effects the way they exist in the word, and that these changes make the world a better place.

So I present to you, without shame, some of my favorite toys for masturbation:

I own an awful lot of sex toys, but only two toys hold pride of place on my nightstand. The Lelo Siri and the Magic Wand Original. The Magic Wand is a classic for a reason, and it certainly gets the job done.

The Siri is nice when I want something more mellow, or if I want more of a tease.

I enjoy having the option of something soft with variable settings, and something intense that will make me orgasm in under two minutes.

If you’d like help overcoming shame or finding more pleasure, get in touch. And if you’re doing work like this, keep doing it. And know that it makes a difference.

P.S. Never heard of Masturbation Month? For folks that don’t know the history, Good Vibrations founded International Masturbation Month in 1995 in the wake of the controversy surrounding the firing of former Clinton administration Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who evoked conservative wrath when she stated that discussion of masturbation might have a place in sex education curricula.

Speaking of Good Vibrations, I’m delighted to announce that I’m now one of their affiliates, so if you follow one of the links to their site, I’ll get a commission on anything you buy. Not only are they a marvelous company to support, but this helps me make a living as a sex educator. Thanks!

Therapists, coaches, and books that focus on relationships have long said that adding novelty is one of the key ways to keep a relationship hot and happy. Now there’s even more science backing that up.

“Sexually successful couples’ [are] more likely to have experimented with sexual variety—from anal stimulation to acting out sexual fantasies to using a sex toy together. And they had sex and orgasms more frequently.

“It was encouraging to learn that more than one-third of couples kept passion alive, even after a decade or two together,” said Janet Lever, a study co-author. “That won’t happen on auto pilot; these couples made a conscious effort to ward off routinization of sex.” – Source

My own experiences working with couples backs this up too. There is a joy and levity to the couples’ (regardless of gender) who see me to learn new tools and tricks. From sexual techniques to kink play like bondage – these folks are going out of their way to keep things new and exciting.

I’ve been told again and again that a bondage lesson or sex coaching session was the best date-night ever.

Have you thought about adding new tricks to your repertoire? Get in touch to schedule a free consultation and see how I can help you add some novelty to your sex life.

One of the most popular topics I work on in classes and with private clients is communication skills. And a common question I’m asked by students and clients is how they can ask for what they want, when they don’t know what they want.

This leads us to work on finding fantasies and exploring desire. One of the first tools I suggest is reading erotica. Erotica is a great way to get a little taste of something new, from the safety of your own living room.

You don’t need to get decked out in leather and find the local dungeon to see if you’ll like kink – you can read a few stories and see if you find them hot. For many people, this is a much more comfortable way to begin exploring.

As an educator and coach, it’s valuable to me to have a list of titles to suggest and I’m always overjoyed when a new book comes out that will fill a much needed gap on my shelf.

And oh, does this book ever fill some gaps. The range of characters represented in Show Yourself To Me is impressively inclusive. Many readers who don’t usually find themselves represented in the pages of erotica will find a character to resonate with here.

From the official description:

“In Show Yourself to Me: Queer Kink Erotica, Xan West introduces us to pretty boys and nervous boys, vulnerable tops and dominant sadists, good girls and fierce girls and scared little girls, mean Daddies and loving Daddies and Daddies that are terrifying in delicious ways.

Submissive queers go to alleys to suck cock, get bent over the bathroom sink by a handsome stranger, choose to face their fears, have their Daddy orchestrate a gang bang in the park, and get their dream gender-play scene—tied to a sling in an accessible dungeon.

Dominants find hope and take risks, fall hard and push edges, get fucked and devour the fear and tears that their sadist hearts desire.

Within these 24 stories, you will meet queers who build community together, who are careful about how they play with power, who care deeply about consent. You will meet trans and genderqueer folks who are hot for each other, who mentor each other, who do the kind of gender play that is only possible with other trans and genderqueer folks.”

Are you hooked yet?

To learn more about the author, Xan West, read excerpts from the book, or see all the stops on the blog tour, visit Xan’s website, Kink Praxis

Today is Celebrate Bisexuality Day. As as I considered it’s approach, and watched Bisexual Awareness Week articles pass through my social media feeds, I realized I hadn’t told my whole story. You can hear parts of in my my Mystery Box Show story, and I’ve referenced bits and pieces elsewhere, but it deserves compiling in one place.

I can’t remember a time before I was a sexual being. I was always exploring and seeking out information. Even in a sex positive household I realized some things were taboo without ever being told.

When my mom gave me the sex talk, at maybe 10 years old, it was very straightforward. The only question I asked was, “what happens if you have to pee?” Her reasonable answer was, “You excuse yourself and go.”

I considered what she’d told me, about the penis going in the vagina, and realized I must be missing something. I was imagining sex looked like scissoring, and that didn’t seem comfortable at all. I went back and asked her, complete with hand gestures, and she explained erections. The other burning question I had, what if it’s two women having sex? I couldn’t bring myself to ask.

There was no homophobia in my household. In fact, there was a gay couple in our inner family circle, present at all the big holidays, but some part of my young mind insisted that I shouldn’t speak that question aloud.

My mother passed away just before my 13th birthday, and with her also died my easy access to information. I moved in with my conservative and old fashioned paternal grandparents and began facing slut-shaming before I’d even begun to earn it.

I had attractions across the gender spectrum from the very beginning. There is evidence in my diary, from eight or nine years old, when I stated “I like boys that look like girls.” The gender bending I was referring to at the time was David Bowie in Labyrinth and Tim Curry in Rocky Horror. I stand by that preference— although these days I’d use less gendered language.

In high school I became a drama nerd. That community saved me from being a complete social outcast. We were strange, but we were strange together. And most of us were figuring out our sexuality.

You might not guess it if you only know my dress-and-lipstick-wearing self of today, but I was quite the tomboy or butch in my youth. I was regularly cast in (stereotypically) lesbian roles. I would raid my father’s closet each time — I wore his ties more often than he did. And although I was attracted to other girls, it wasn’t until my senior year that I got a chance to act on it. Even then it was a friend, and late night foolishness with an audience, and I managed to tell myself it didn’t count. I was waiting for an ah-ha moment, but the form it came in was not what I expected.

When I was 17, I met an older man who identified as bisexual. That changed everything. He gave me books, including Bi Any Other Name and I realized that this thing I’d been feeling all along was real. He also introduced me to the local bisexual community — small though it was — and I established friendships that I maintain to this day.

I even marched in the Long Beach Pride parade. It was the first year they allowed a bisexual contingent. Not everyone was happy to see us, but I walked front and center in our group and I couldn’t have been happier to be there.

Meanwhile, I was having discussions/arguments with people who claimed bisexuality didn’t exist. I encountered bi-phobia in both the straight and queer communities. I still feel elements of that to this day. But mostly I’m very lucky. I’ve been able to live my life being open about who I am. And I’m so grateful to my friends and my partners and my community.

There’s still a lot of work to be done. Bisexuality gets erased from the mainstream discourse on a regular basis and there’s still a lot of bi-phobia to fight both in and out of queer spaces. And there are more worrying facts, too:

“In addition to stereotypes and myths, and perhaps because of them, bisexual people suffer from high levels of violence, economic insecurity, poor health, and employment discrimination. For example, 61 percent of bisexual women say they have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 43 percent of lesbians and 35 percent of straight women.” [Link]

And also,

“According to the San Francisco Human Rights Commission’s report on bisexual invisibility… bisexuals have a higher risk of suicide and poorer mental health than the general population. The report suggests there is a correlation between the lack of bisexual visibility and poor mental health among bisexuals.” [Link]

I’m in a fortunate position where I can be loud about my identity. So for all of these reasons and more, you’ll find me identifying as bisexual whenever I can.

And for anyone who is worried that the term enforces a gender binary, I give you this — my favorite video on the topic:

Two years ago I attended my first Catalyst Con and it was an amazing experience. I met wonderful people like Tristan Taormino, Cunning Minx, Kate McCombs, JoEllen Notte, Epiphora, and more, and even got a writing gig at Kinkly – a job I’m still doing and loving. Those connections, and the things I learned in the workshops, were instrumental in guiding the path my career would take.

Although I was a little less wide eyed, last year’s conference was another wonderful experience, full of inspirational people (Rachel Kramer Bussel, Reid Mihalko, Charlie Glickman, and more) and even more valuable learning experiences.

I’m so excited to bring this topic to Catalyst Con, to share my own experiences and to learn from others. It’s a topic I feel passionately about, because sex is the only complex skill we’re expected to just know how to do, without ever being shown or taught. This silence leads to shame, embarrassment, and to people not having the sex lives they want and deserve. This is something I’m working to change in my teaching and coaching, and I’m honored to be part of a new wave of sex educators who focus on pleasure.

This year’s conference looks like it will be as amazing as ever. I’m so excited by the lineup of speakers and workshops and I only wish I could attend every single one!

Want to attend the conference? Use code STELLA to get $10 off your registration. For those of you who can’t make it to the event, make sure you’re following me on social media and I’ll share as much as I can.

Want something closer to home? I’ve got several classes coming up in Portland for Spartacus, Fantasy, and SheBop!

2014 was an amazing year, but rather than recap I’m eager to move forward and 2015 is already shaping up to be an incredible year full of classes and events.

I have a full slate of classes for the first six months of the year plus a few special events planned. My 2015 classes are kicking off with my popular class, Mapping the Vulva, on February 8th. I couldn’t be more thrilled with the reaction this class is getting and now I’ve expanded the class and added even more content. Here’s the most recent testimonial:

My husband and I attended Stella’s class, and really learned a lot! Although I’ve had a vulva for 30 years and my husband for 6, the methods we’ve learned and orgasms I get as a result are new and improved! The class was well worth attending and I would recommend it to anyone with a vulva or anyone with someone with a vulva. – H.M.

In addition to my own classes I’ll be teaching for the PDX Academy of Sex Ed, Sexy University, and I’ll even be giving a guest lecture to a University Human Sexuality class on the topic of kink in April.

Speaking of kink, I’m included in a fabulous new book, As Kinky As You Wanna Be, which you can read about on my publications page. The book is filled with some of my favorite authors and educators and I could not be more giddy to be included in their company.

Also, I’ve got a rope bondage guide coming out in the next month or two. I can’t wait to show it to you all. Stay tuned for more information. If you want to make sure you’re always the first to know about publications and classes sign up for my newsletter, the Starlight Gazette, and you’ll always be in the know.

xoxo,
Stella

PS. Want the content from one of my classes but not the group setting? No problem. Private instruction and coaching are always available in these topics and many more. Just get in touch.

I became a sex educator out of necessity. At the age of 13 I had to teach my grandmother about female anatomy – specifically the hymen.

I guess I should back up a little bit. I was raised by a very sex-positive librarian mother. No knowledge was forbidden. I grew up wandering the stacks of libraries and I learned early, in the days of Dewey Decimal and card catalogs, to find the information I wanted. In addition to my own research my mother always answered questions honestly and she was proactive about giving me information. The first time she gave me “the talk” it was matter of fact and utterly without shame or judgment.

My mother passed away after a battle with cancer just days before my 13th birthday. That’s when I moved in with my dad and his parents. My grandmother ruled the roost and she was old fashioned in the worst possible ways. She’d never had good information about sex or sexuality. Her attempt to get a diaphragm in anticipation of her wedding night had gone badly and she was left with no contraception, which meant she became pregnant almost immediately. So I get where she was coming from. And although I have more empathy now, it was not a good environment for a young girl to come into her sexuality.

Back to the hymen; I’d been eagerly anticipating my period for at least a couple years so when I actually started bleeding I was pretty excited. (How lucky for me that I knew what to expect.) It happened when an already menstruating girlfriend of mine was over for the weekend and she was appalled by the giant pads that were waiting for me in the bathroom cupboard. So we hopped on our bikes and made a trek to the local drug store. She showed me her favorite kinds of tampons, explained the ins and outs of different applicators, and finally we choose a box. We also bought a pack of gum, because just buying tampons would have been embarrassing.

It didn’t take long for my grandmother to discover the tampons, and when she did she pitched a fit. She was convinced using tampons would break my hymen. At thirteen years old I wasn’t yet equipped to have a discussion with my grandmother about women only being valued for their purity, or about the harmful (and irrelevant) concept of virginity. But I did know enough about female anatomy to set her straight. First I told her that having engaged in gymnastics and horse back riding it was entirely possible my hymen was already torn. (As advanced as I was for 13, I didn’t yet know that the notion of tearing a hymen is just one more way violence against women is steeped in our language, and that stretching is far more accurate.) This did not comfort her.
My grandmother thought the hymen was a solid layer of membranous tissue covering the entire opening of the vaginal canal. Never mind that a simple logic exercise would prove this untrue; how would you bleed once a month without an opening?

So off I went to grab the appropriate edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica (a gift from my other grandmother, who had passed only a year before my mother.) I turned to the blessedly complete and accurate section on female anatomy and read her the passage on the hymen and well as showing her the picture, and made it clear there was more than enough room for a tampon. (I didn’t mention I’d already explored with inserting things far larger than those little cotton plugs.) She wasn’t happy about it, but the point was mostly conceded. Still, when she took me to my first gynecologist appointment when I was 17, she did ask for confirmation that my hymen was intact. It was. Proof that it can take quite a beating.

It wasn’t only my grandmother who required my schooling, and a pattern began to emerge. As needs arose in my life I would seek out information, and then I would be the most informed person among my peers and in turn I would share the information I’d learned. This process happened for safer sex and contraception while I was a senior in high school and again for female pleasure and orgasms soon after.

The search for accurate information about contraception in the pre-internet days could be a story all on it’s own. It was an adventure that included chatting with a friend’s mother who was a sex worker, paging through inadequate books in the library, and making more than one pharmacist extremely uncomfortable.

By college I was the go-to dorm room when people wanted to discuss their contraceptive choices. I went along on condom shopping trips for moral support and I regularly escorted friends to the local sex-positive sex store while touting the benefits of vibrators and clitoral stimulation.

That was roughly 15 years ago. A lot has changed. The internet has helped. But the right information still isn’t getting to the people who need it. Not only is there a lack of good information, but there’s sea of misinformation to wade through. That’s why I’ve continued to seek out the best, most accurate information to share with others. These days I have more resources, and more training, too.

When I worked in animal welfare we used to say we wanted to put ourselves out of a job. As a sex educator I feel the same way. I wish young people got so much good information from their families and their schools and their libraries that the notion of adult sex education was redundant. But I don’t see that happening any time soon. And that’s just for the basics; for information that covers health, safety, and pleasure. Add in some of my specialities, like intimacy and BDSM, and I think I’ll have more than enough work to do for a very long time.

Do you need your very own well-informed friend? I offer coaching and instruction in person or by phone or skype on a wide range of topics. Contact me and let’s get started.
]]>http://stellaharris.net/2014/11/how-i-became-a-sex-educator/feed/0Spartacus goodies for Mapping the Vulva attendees!http://stellaharris.net/2014/10/spartacus-goodies-for-mapping-the-vulva-attendees/
http://stellaharris.net/2014/10/spartacus-goodies-for-mapping-the-vulva-attendees/#commentsThu, 02 Oct 2014 22:37:30 +0000http://stellaharris.net/?p=571

You may have seen on social media that Spartacus is sponsoring my upcoming class, Mapping the Vulva, by providing door prizes.

Well, I went to pick up the prize packages today and I was absolutely blown away by how generous they are. Check it out:

Here’s how to win: Everyone who buys pre-sale tickets to Mapping the Vulva gets entered and everyone who shows up to class (including door sales) gets entered, so if you buy your tickets in advance you’ve got double the chance to win!