Shop for The New World Order

Updated on March 11, 2012

Online Products for The New World Order

When the hammer drops, be prepared. Whether jackbooted thugs haul you to FEMA-built concentration camps or shadow governments impose martial law, you probably won't be able to pick up emergency supplies at the local mall. Sears will be closed because it's a tool of the elite 1% anyway.

Buy Some Pens

You can't perform your duties as a lackey of the totalitarian regime without a reliable supply of ink pens with which to inform on your neighbors. Remember that the Internet will be controlled by government stooges masquerading as IT professionals. Web traffic will no longer be secure. As we know, all encryption algorithms have secret back-doors installed by NSA, FBI, CIA, and FEMA operatives under the control of the ancient Mayans.

You'll be taking notes, by hand, on subtle comments made by people standing behind you in the bread line. You''ll want to draw hasty sketches of double agents delivering clandestine messages as you lurk in the shadows outside the VFW hall.

Papermate is a good multinational company that manufacturers writing instruments appropriate for the New World Order. Bic is also reliable.

Buy Some Survival Food

When the local magistrate insists on receiving a 'tribute' before allowing you to purchase basic necessities at the government store, you will be happy that you stocked up on mass quantities of survival food. It may not taste like an Angus Burger from the capitalist running dogs at McDonald's, but it stays relatively fresh for many years. Fill your basement bunker with various flavors and textures of dehydrated foodstuffs.

Remember, your family depends on you. Even if they don't exactly believe you today, they will be knocking on your specially fortified bedroom door when the economy collapses.

Buy Silver and Gold

Paper money is worthless, as any Bilderberger will affirm. Fiat money is worth less than a 1972 Fiat rusting by the side of the road. If you haven't properly funded your gold and silver cache, forget about being able to barter for basic necessities with the clan in the bunker next door.

Everyone knows that precious metals have intrinsic value that will never be worth zero, at least until someone realizes that you can't eat it. Look for small amounts of gold and silver coins that you can jam into the pockets of your overalls when it's time to hastily retreat into the survival room of your mobile home.

Get a GPS

International one-world governments tend to disrupt travel plans. Don't expect the comrade at the local gas station to be able to give you directions out of town or help you locate your family's rally point. You'll need a reliable Global Positioning System to get you into the safe zone while avoiding checkpoints thrown up by blue-helmeted UN soldiers.

Look for a GPS that uses satellites. These satellites may be under government control, but they will be used by government troops brought in from sympathetic countries. You can also use them. It's somewhat ironic, if you think about it.

Shop for Phrase Books

You may need to speak some other language when borders are dissolved and political allegiances no longer have meaning. You may be forcibly relocated to a reeducation camp in another country. No one can predict the myriad of different dialects they will be barking at you over the PA system in the exercise yard when you are allowed one hour of free time per day.

In order to be able to exchange information with sympathetic rebels and survivalist splinter groups who somehow escaped initial sweeps performed by occupying forces, learn to speak foreign tongues. Sure, you can draw in the dirt with a stick, but you can't lead your newly formed band of dedicated freedom fighters unless they understand your well-laid plans.

Stock up on unmentionables

Anticipating a little hope and change never hurts, but sitting down with an old friend after a long day of subversive activities cannot be overemphasized. Some things should never change.

Fill your emergency larder with specific supplies designed to provide a level of comfort unattainable through any government overthrow. Guerrillas and government lackeys all speak this language. If you think the bread lines will be long...

Source

Stay Strong and Spend Money

Use your credit card while you can. Very soon the financial markets could collapse into a heap of almost worthless paper. It could happen today. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Perhaps it's happening as you are reading this, and you missed it.

Without warning our political infrastructure and our Internet connections could be co-opted by shadowy figures operating on the fringes of legality while controlling vast resources under their well-manicured thumbs. Shop for some New World Order supplies as long as you have credit. When society is re-engineered your dollars may be fire starters.

A useful text editor is an essential component of any personal computer. Every day we need to make notes, compose documents, and record vital pieces of information. We depend on our text editor. Microsoft provided...

Comments 24 comments

Wow, you write some really creative hubs. I enjoy your very unique "nicomp" style! You did bring up a few things which make me nervous though. Sad part is, these are all things would could really happen!

LucidDreams 4 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

Oops, I meant WHICH could really happen.

Theeyeballkid 4 years ago

Haha nice hub nicomp. "Many a true word is spoken in jest"

Davesworld 4 years ago from Cottage Grove, MN 55016

Personally, I reject the notion of stocking up on survival food. Instead, I'm eating at McDonald's twice day to bulk up personally. In this manner, my food cache can't be taken from me by a band of gun wielding marauders - I always have it with me.

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@LucidDreams: Thank you for your kind words. We'll look for you at the end of the world.

@Theeyeballkid: 'tis true.

@Davesworld: An innovative strategy apparently practiced by the majority of our citizenry.

Tom Whitworth 4 years ago from Moundsville, WV

Ah gee nicomp, I saw this title and thought we could order a "new world". This one seems a little shopworn!!!

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Tom Whitworth: Sorry to disappoint!

Actually, the above phrase should precede all my hubs...

LucidDreams 4 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

That is certainly NOT TRUE!

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@LucidDreams: For a Level 3 Commenter, you are particularly incisive.

LucidDreams 4 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

I am trying to figure out if that is a compliment, or a very creative back door slam! My level 3 standing is connected to the fact that I just recently decided to be a little more vocal. Generally in the past I preferred to watch from a distance. Not to mention, I have been around quite a bit longer then most realize.

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@LucidDreams: It's a complement.

LucidDreams 4 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

Ah thanks nicomp. You are pretty witty so I wasn't quite sure!

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

You mean there ARE sympathetic countries, nicomp? Who knew?

LucidDreams 4 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

Incisive is a really big word for me so sometimes it can take a bit!

LucidDreams 4 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anjegirl 4 years ago from Myrtle Beach,SC

I have been living with these facts for decades and I am kind of numbed by it at this point----can't tell you how many times I heard DEMS and REPUBS talking about thinning the herd----

But I must say nicomp that this is the very first time I have ever seen anyone make it laughable----this is hilarious and since we cannot stop this in spite of the Oathkeepers we might as well laugh about it---I do believe that the sheeeeple deserve what is coming to them in many ways and from now on I want to refer ppl to the funny version of the truth----amazingly gripping writings---I love it and I am a follower---I want to be where you are when the SHTF---LMAO

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@anjegirl: Your essay was funnier than mine, until the shooting part, so I deleted it.

Deleting it was my decision. No one told me to delete it, no one forced me to delete it, and my tinfoil hat never leaves my head.

I don't work for Bush I, Bush II, Clinton, BHO, Cheaney, Quayle, Bilderbergers, Trilaterals, Truthers, Birthers, Global Warmers, IMFers, NWOers, Oathkeepers, or Kiwanis. I work for the Little Voice in My Head that tells me what's funny and what is not. This voice is completely subjective.

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Oh, I'm not an Illuminara either. Just in case you were thinking...

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@drbj: Our little party is growing.

anjegirl 4 years ago from Myrtle Beach,SC

Why would I think you were Illuminara---I thought you were someone who gets it

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Do you have a cave in the desert for sale?

nicomp 4 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@breakfastpop: meet me there. We need a cook.

Vin Chauhun 4 years ago from Durban

i hope U are watching your door....and folks out there , don't wear gold teeth, or you might find you will need dentures during the revolution and end up drinking your food through a straw[easy to put between your still bloody gums]