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(week 148) Oct 30 2014 12-step study Big Book workshop12stepstudyworkshop.com has all the handouts and accumulated knowledge of Stephanie’s studies of the Big Book.Please send donations to support the website to:Stephanie WhitingP O Box 531North Pembroke MA 02358*No abstinence or sobriety requirements necessary here. No requirements- just suit up & show up!* Shares are only recorded on the callback( which gets taken down after 7 days and is not archived), not on the website. If you wish not to be recorded, do not state your name.*At the writing of the 4th Step, Stephanie will give us a total of 15 resentments to write about:-5 of people, places, or institutions-5 fears-5 resentments on sex relationsIf we want to write more, of course we may.AA 12 &12 top of p. 39: ‘So how exactly can the willing person…’ until top of p. 40‘…as a way of life can bring the much-desired result.’If you have not yet got a buddy, e-mail: sue7263@aol.com.Print out the handout on the directions for resentment that Sue sent out this week. Buy a two-three inch deep 3-ring punch binder and put it in there.Soul workLook up : bitterness, broods, victimized.Q1. Are you willing to turn your will and your life over to a Higher Power?Q2. Are you convinced that you have more problems than your addictions?Q3. Have you come to the realization that there are some problems in life you really can overcome by personal determination and courage?Q4a).What situation(s) in your life is not budging even though you have put into it all the determination, self-will and courage?b) Or who is not budging: son, father, wife, partner, boss, co-worker, etc.?c) When you get to the end of yourself, what are you going to do?Above the word budge, write ‘change’.Q5. Ask yourself, am I desperately unhappy about anything? Write it down.Q6. Go to an Al-Anon meeting.Listen to the Al-Anon philosophy of detachment, live and let live. They have sobriety, are detached and living a) b) and c) of the Big Book.Then listen to the people who are trying to cajole, push, pull etc. do they have joy in their lives? [This is rich material for us to really do even before we get to the fourth step].Our friend is still victimized by remorse and guilt when he thinks of yesterday.Q7.Write out the two types of being victimized.Q8. Two questions to ask in Quiet Time:a) If you went to a party, who would you not want to walk through the door?b) How do you feel when somebody’s name comes up?Q9a) Does your financial insecurity worry you?b) Are you having panic attacks over anything?Q10. Do you have anyone that you might have icky feelings about? If so tell your buddy. (It will make your 4th step list so much easier to write).Fourth line of last paragraph on page 39: ‘Of course the sponsor points out…’Underline sponsor [It is the first time the word ‘sponsor’ is used].

(week 147) 23 October 2014 12 Step Study Big Book workshop12 x 12 Step 3Today’s reading:AA 12&12 p. 36 last line- thru top of p. 39 end of 1st line:“But the moment our mental or emotional independence is in question, how differently we behave. …..Whether in Alaska or on the Salerno beachhead, their dependence upon a Higher Power worked. And far from being a weakness, this dependence was their chief source of strength.”Soul workLook up: self-sufficiency.Q1. How is it working for you?Q2. When checking out new people to trust, take it slowly. Share a little and check to see what comes back. Then share a little more and again see if you like what comes back. Practice it this week and then write on how it went. How did it made you feel, taking a bit of a risk, trusting somebody?This brave philosophy, wherein each man plays God, sounds good in the speaking but it still has to meet the acid test: how well does it actually work?Q3. What do you want to do with your will power? Do you want to align it with the will of your Higher Power?Q4. Good questions to bring to God:a) Why do I need you God?b) How well does my playing God actually work?Q6a) Do you know any normal people?b) Do you know people living on self-sufficiency?Everywhere he sees people filled with anger and fear society breaking up into warring fragments. Each fragment says to the others, ‘“We are right and you are wrong.”Q7a) Are you filled with anger and fear?b) Are you part of society that is warring with other parts of society or are you disagreeing with certain things in our society, being able to accept them while not accepting the way someone thinks?c) Who is showing that in your life?d) You (put your name here) are right, they are wrong. How are you going to handle it?Q8. Write on the slogan: Let go and let God or be dragged.We realize that the word “dependence” is as distasteful to many psychiatrists and psychologists as it is to alcoholics. Like our professional friends we too are aware that there are wrong forms of dependence. We have experienced many of them.Q9. Write about faulty dependence.a. Whom do you have a faulty dependence upon?b. If you don’t have a faulty dependence, write about how you were able to get out of that faulty dependence and into a healthy dependence upon your higher power and into trusting relationships.Dependence on an AA group or a sponsor means you are on b) This is OK for awhile. Then need to go down to a higher power to c).Q10. Are you in a) b) or c)?“When World War II broke out, this spiritual principle had its first major test. …. Would they be able to …stand up under fire…?”Q(11 ‘Under fire’ – are you under fire, under stress right now? How did you handle it?Did you hunker down and go to God? Or did you go to faulty dependence? Or your addiction?

(week 14 6) 16 October 2014 12-step Big Book workshopwww.AA.org This has the Big Book and AA Reflections read at the Friday noontimeTrust & Rely meeting.12stepstudyworkshop.com has all the handouts and accumulated knowledge of Stephanie’s studies of the Big Book.Please send donations to support the website to:Stephanie WhitingP O Box 531North Pembroke MA 02358​12 x 12 Step 3 page 37 paragraph beginning: ‘But the moment our mental or emotional…’until end of next paragraph ‘…it is a bone-crushing juggernaut whose final achievement is ruin.’Soul workLook up: self-sufficiency.Q1. Search out one or two people whom you really trust and respect. Maybe somebody that you have listened to and are on the same page spiritually. Perhaps a pastor, rabbi or somebody associated with your congregation, priest, minister, counselor. So that if you really had to make a big life decision and you feel you have heard from God that you can run it by these one or two and feel comfortable.Q2. The other assignment in readiness for writing step four is to go the website 12stepstudyworkshop.comGo to ‘Handouts’, find the fourth step instructions and worksheets. Make four or five copies of the instructions and 50 copies of the format and put them in your three-ring binder. Also get some filler paper.Q3.How is it working for you, being your own authority figure?Everywhere he sees people filled with anger and fear, society breaking up into warring fragments. Each fragment says to the others,”We are right and you are wrong.”Q4. Are you filled with anger and fear? Are you, in your mind, breaking up into warring fragments?

(week 145) 9 October 2014 12-step Study Big Book workshopStep 3 12 x 12 Page 35. Start of second paragraph:’Maybe this all sounds mysterious…’until page 37 end of paragraph: ‘One good look in the mirror ought to be answer enough for any alcoholic.www.AA.org This has the Big Book and AA Reflections read at the Friday noontimeTrust & Rely meeting.12stepstudyworkshop.com has all the handouts and accumulated knowledge of Stephanie’s studies of the Big Book.Please send donations to support the website to:Stephanie WhitingP O Box 531North Pembroke MA 02358Soul workSerenity Prayer:God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Thy will not mine be done. Amen.“Go to quiet time and ask God ‘what do You want me to do about this issue?’ Do the third step prayer, write about it, then share with another person.”Look up: wisdom. The wisdom to know what to expect and what to change.Q1 Examine your areas of dependence.Q2. Look at your idea of this dependence. They are different.Q3. Have an action plan to go to God with for next week asking God: ‘I know I have a dependency I am asking you to give me a conscious contact with myself on where I have unconscious dependence.’ It will shock you. When you sincerely ask God in Quiet Time to give you something you will get it.[Remember the truth will set you free but first it will make you very angry.Pick your accountability people very, very carefully. Be selective. You do not want to be isolated with your own thoughts. Don’t dismiss anyone. Get phone numbers of those who are saying recovered things. They can really give you unbiased recovered God-honouring feedback. We never tell each other what to do but we can give each other feedback.]Q4 Lets get out of our own little world and think about our brothers and sisters in other countries and their dependences. Different from America. Living in such a wonderful country we really don’t have to worry about things.‘Concerned’ is a better word. Concerned about others. A beautiful way to live. If you worry why pray?But the moment our mental or emotional dependence is in question how differently we behave. How persistently we claim the right to decide all by ourselves just what we shall think and just how we shall act. Oh yes, we’ll weigh the pros and cons of very problem. We’ll listen politely to those who would advise us, but all the decisions are to be ours alone. Nobody is going to meddle with our personal independence in such matters. Besides, we think there is no one we can surely trust. We are certain that our intelligence, backed by will power, can rightly control our inner lives and guarantee us success in the world we live in. This brave philosophy, wherein each man plays God, sounds good in the speaking, but it still has to be meet the acid test how well does it actually work? One good look in the mirror ought to be answer enough for any alcoholic.Q5. Can you claim the right to decide all by yourself how you should act?b) How did it work for you?Q6. Inventory yourself.a) How are you making a decision to think and act?b) Are you self-willed?c) Are you asking God to use your will and align it with His will so you are making decisions with what you know your Higher Power wants you to do and then having an Action Plan using your will with the plan?That is Stephanie’s understanding of step 3: “It can all be boiled down to that.”Q7. That’s the Third Step. Are you there?If not come to Tuesdays Dr Bob and the Good Old timers and after the meeting and you can ask any questions you want.Step Four:To write Step Four you will need to be Honest Open and Willing. It takes an iron-clad self-will to sit down and write a fourth step. We are going to be answering hard questions such as where are you selfish? What did you want from this person? We don’t look at this very often. It is very pointed and doesn’t beat around the bush. Then you have to talk about what you want and dig even deeper and find out why you wanted it. This is not the normal way of looking at decisions in our culture.

​BB Step Study Soulwork #144 October 2nd 2014(Page 35, middle of the page, to mid page 36).Instruction for our writing “It’s very simple. We complicate everything.” Use a timer, do quiet time before we pick up the pencil when we do the 4th Step, and although we will want to rake the yard and clean out the cellar,STAY there for the amount of time we have chosen, and do the work. It will simplify our thoughts and our lives.1. Look up: non entity; egotism.2. Read Step One in the 12 & 12.3. Read top paragraph of page 36. Then study the sentence which Stephanie says is vital: “This, of course, is the process…development.”4. Read again page 6) in the Big Book, on going from a to b.“Ego: Lots of pride, Low Tolerance for Others’ Opinion”.5. Read “Spiritual Experience (page 567) in the back of the Big Book, taking special note of quotes, including the quotation by Herbert Spencer at the bottom of the page.

Our live phone meetings are every Thursday at 8:00 AM EST. The phone number for these live meetings is (712) 775-7031, and the meeting ID number is 714744988#.

Please send donations to support the website to:

Stephanie Whiting P O Box 531 North Pembroke MA 02358

You can listen to our recorded meetings at (641) 715-3900, pin 95666# for our Thursday Big Book Step Study workshop. You can also hear our Tuesday Big Book Study recordings at (641) 715-3900, pin 298913#. These meetings can be accessed at any time.