Work Cards

Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Disruption Techniques Card
"he's very strong at disruption techniques"
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Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Plants on Desk Card
"we have a 'no plants on desk' rule"
"it's actually made of plastic?"
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Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Boring Meeting Card
"ok if I look at my phone for a bit, this meeting's boring the fuck out of me"
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Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Water Cooler Bat Card
"what did you do at the weekend?"
"I smashed my house up with a bat"
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Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Bonus Department Card
"I got this work finished quicker than normal, what way is it to the bonus department?"
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Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Over Confident Applicant Card
"well I think that went really well"
"cheers nice one mate, let's all go out and get fucking wankered yeah"
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Introducing 15 new Modern Toss cards... Getting Home Early Card
"ok what does success look like to everyone?"
"getting home early?"
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"What are you like at multi-tasking?
"Pretty good. I often read the paper while I'm having a shit."
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"give us a hand putting this motivational poster up"
"sorry mate I'm due an electronic fag break"
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"What illnesses would you recommend for getting 6 months or longer off work?"
A get well soon card or an 'I hate work' card that will either cheer the recipient up or make them cry. Or both. We can't take responsibility for that sort of thing.

"I see you took yesterday off for a 'bullshitter's refresher course"
"yeah here's my expenses"
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"I can't come back to work this week, I've had to book myself in the retox clinic"
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"hi sorry I'm late, I couldn't be fucked to get here any quicker"
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"very impressive reference"
"cheers, I wrote that"
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"I'm worried about the effects of new technology on my work prospects"
"Don't panic, we offered your job to a robot and he didn't want it"
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"Ahh now I see from your CV you've got tap dancing down as a hobby" "Yeah that's actually lap dancing, I can't type for shit" First rule of interviews: focus on your strengths. An inspiring card for jobseekers. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to...

"we would like to point out to you that it's highly unprofessional to refer to us as 'the cunts upstairs' when sending out emails to our client database" "Fair enough, rules are rules" You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and write it...

"I see you've applied for time off during our busiest week." "yeah, hopefully you'll have everything done by the time I get back." A productivity-boosting work-themed greetings card for the lazy tosser in your life. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten message via Brainbox Candy here. Otherwise, add to basket below and...

"Congratulations you've got the job!"
"I dunno if I can work here, I'm only getting one bar on me phone"
Priorities, innit?
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"Here's an idea, why don't we just do stuff that's going to be really massively successful?"
Why think outside the box, when you don't have to think at all?
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"I see you've applied for a day off on your birthday" "yeah, imagine being stuck in this shithole on your birthday" An apt birthday card for a colleague, employee, boss, or anyone who's used up all their holiday time and are feeling sorry for themselves. You can send this card direct to your mates or family with a handwritten...

"great to get all this feedback off our new customer forum"
"yeah I had no idea we were such a shit company"
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