Surviving Dublin a city with more taxis than New York.
Dublin is a passengers paradise and a taxi drivers hell

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Credit blues.

Thanks to my friend Sam Clarke in Australia for this..

Linda is the proprietor of a bar in Cork . In order to increase sales, shedecides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployedalcoholics - to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinksconsumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).

Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flood intoLinda's bar.

Taking advantage of her customers freedom from immediate payment constraints, Linda increases her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume increases massively.

A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizesthese customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Linda's borrowing limit.

He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholicsas collateral.

At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform thesecustomer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securitiesare then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what theseabbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, astheir prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager(subsequently of course fired due to his negativity) of the bank decidesthat the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Linda's bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Linda cannot fulfil her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better,stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.

The suppliers of Linda's bar, having granted her generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by acompetitor. The bank is saved by the Government following dramaticround-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing politicalparties (and vested interests).

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers. Finally an explanation I understand...

But what I don't understand is the HOORAY to the fact that the Germans and the Others are lending us billions so that we can then pay them back the money owing to them

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