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The sender might have said something like “Haha state of these warped sevconians convinced we’re infiltrating their support lol”.

The screenshot itself might have asked if there are infiltrators within the Rangers support and add “know the person next to you. Could they be that obsessed to have season tickets to go to the games to hurt us and tarnish our name to get us kicked out of Europe etc?”.

Your (perfectly understandable) reaction might have been “Haha no way typical lol”.

And yet. For years now I’ve been vindicating those supposedly “paranoid” Rangers fans by infiltrating their support. It’s not been easy but boy has it been worth it.

My first game was in the early ’90s. I’d been following Celtic since the late ‘70s, but by this point we were utter sh**e.

I’m talking Wayne Biggins era. The age of “actually, we pushed Raith Rovers every step of the way in that final”.

(Image: Internet Unknown)

Me and my pals Declan, Seamus, Rudi Vata and Big Seamus donned our staunchest brogues and immediately set about learning that weird air punch/swagger/shuffle routine you’ll be familiar with from the Rangers supporters taking to the floor in T2: Trainspotting’s “No more Catholics” scene.

Obviously we couldn’t just start Billyboying away willy nilly. We worked hard at gaining the trust of the Bears surrounding ourselves in the stands, and tried to sell them on the merits of casual bigotry.

To a man (or Bear), they turned to me and said: “Yes Martin, I understand you wanting to antagonise our city rivals but why the anti-Catholic lyrics?”

I realised that these Rangers fans weren’t actually bothered either way about Catholics, so I knew I had to redouble my efforts if I was to make the rest of Scottish society believe that Ibrox was home to thousands of people singing anti-Catholic songs for decades.

To this day, it still amazes me that just because you can hear thousands of Rangers fans singing about being “up to our knees in fe***n blood” people assume this somehow reflects badly on Rangers fans.

Quite the opposite. Myself and my fellow infiltrators taught them the words and encouraged them every step on the way. As those innocent Rangers fans suggest on their forums, this one’s entirely on Celtic fans.

(Image: Rangers FC/Press Association Images)

You’ll have noticed the indignant responses of many genuine Rangers fans this week following UEFA’s decision to punish Rangers for their songbook.

A popular line has been “If we’re going to get into trouble we need to stop singing the songs”. You might be thinking, “Isn’t the fact that singing about f****n’ blood is indisputably A Bad Thing a more pressing reason?”, but don’t blame them. I’ve been convincing the Bears around me to use that line.

Since UEFA’s intervention I’ve been working overtime in my quest to spread disinformation. Every tweet you see from a Rangers fan that makes you think “Wow, these people simply do not get it” was actually posted by me from one of my numerous burner accounts.

Bet you feel stupid now. You might have seen a Rangers fan tweet about “handwringers” wanting to “grass us in to UEFA” and thought “Why don’t they realise objecting to anti-Catholic lyrics in 2019 is light years from handwringing?”. Sorry, but that one was me.

Maybe you read a Rangers fan urge his fellow Bears: “Remember record the CFC game tonight.

“Listen for any chants thst (sic) may be deemed racist or sectarian & the new @farenet member here will pass on to them” and thought “Well, this person seems incapable of taking ownership of his own flaws and is instead trying to deflect the blame onto his rival, like a five-year-old in a sandpit”. You would have been 100 per cent right, only that was me too.

After all those years labelling the people who sang “FTP” and “up to our knees in fe***n blood” as bigots, you’re probably feeling a bit sheepish. Don’t. You’re just one of thousands who’ve been taken in by The Rogues in Brogues.

And if you’re reading this fellow Bears, ignore everything above this sentence. See you for a classic singalong on Sunday.