A ladylike abduction of the mind. You're Welcome.

MotherFumpking Pumpkins.

The air is brisk, the leaves are turning and drifting slowly through the sky, homeless people are below ground a plenty, numerous sweat spotted lips fill the subway bc New Yorkers love to bust out winter coats in 55 degree weather… IT’S FALL YA’LL!

Yeah, that’s pumpkin. We kinda went to a patch this weekend and caught some crazy ass orange things.

This is the first step to catching a Grade A pumpkin, Stalking. Corn Stalking that is, the only real way to shield yourself from the pumpkins blowing your cover. Pumpkins can’t look directly into corn stalks, it kinda freaks them out. Hence the one giant ass pumpkin, his eyes clearly averted.

Battlefield Pumpkin. It was nice doing the maze gaze with ya, but it was time to pick them off. One by one.

Whose face will I bring home to carve open and put a new face in? That one. No, to the right a little-right, no not another right I was correcting the right direction. DAMMIT!

Sorry. Pumpkin Hunting is very serious, I get a little wound up. I need to drink the blended brains of my fallen orange friends, relax me a little.

Much better. Now for a sneak peek into the world of sacrificial appreciation to the Maze Gods for their shelter and help. This is an old Indian ritual, the Pilgrims definitely did this (don’t fact check that).

Is that a Llama?

The day is done. We go home and I head straight to the kitchen where I belong. That disgusting display of sexism is for you, Frankie. Wink!

I hope your eyes enjoy this puff pastry apple treat bc we ate more than half last night standing at the counter.

Apple Puff Pastry Bar:

5 apples peeled and chopped

two cans fillo dough, or two cans Pilsbury Crescent roll dough

cinnamon, butter, brown sugar, vanilla

Line a 9X13 pan with one can fillo/crescent dough. Take chopped apples and sautee them for apprx 10 minutes in cinnamon, butter and a drop of vanilla. Pour apple concoction on top of dough, sprinkle in some brown sugar love and unroll the last can over the top. If you want, glaze the top with a little melted butter and cinnamon. Cook on 350 for about 15/20 minutes or until golden and puffy!