Total idiot

I used to think marriage should always be given a chance, if it's non abusive. I think I was wrong. My oh didn't cheat exactly but had issues with chatting to women online, porn etc. I forgave and I think 3 years later we are back here again. I should have walked last time. I won't be online again tonight as tired and bloody miserable so going to try and sleep. Just wanted to say this really as can't chat to anyone in rl yet.

Thank you for comments. I'm not doing anything right now as though I'm really really hurt my dh is in the middle of building an extension among other home improvements and he can bloody well finish them before we split up!

Maybe I will AF and Windy, fact is I can't afford this mortgage on my own with my debts and various other expenses despite working full time. DCs are grown up so won't get any support. Not interested in further relationships after this so may as well just stay here but do what I like in future.

If your financial situation is such that neither of you can leave straight away, can you not confront the situation and ask him to move into a spare room if you have one, until you're in a position to sell. Stop doing his washing/cleaning etc - if separation is your ultimate goal.

The problem with doing nothing is that, sadly, it sends a message that it's ok for him to continue what he's doing. What's his incentive to stop (except for simply common decency, but it appears he doesn't have that in spades). Of course even if he stopped it all now, what's done is done and he can't take that back.