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A Dozen Reasons Against Arts and Crafts

Arts and crap, that is.

I succumbed. To the pleadings of a sweet, bored 5-year-old boy. In the "hobby" section of the fabric store, where I had spent far too long to just pick up the thread I needed. To reward him for his patience and good behavior, I let him browse the crafts.

Mistake #1.

He found a "weally cool piwate ship" that he just had to have. A wooden model that you get to paint too! For ages 8 and up! Against my better judgement, but because I knew it would give him something to do, I bought it.

Mistake #2.

And so that leads us to mistake #3: believing that he would be contributing whatsoever to the assembly endeavor.

Because it's for 8 year olds. Which, even then, in my house means "or their parents."

Mistake #4: believing that it was as simple as following the instructions and that all prep had been done for you.

Mistake #5: not having any sandpaper to sand the pieces that had not been prepped beforehand.

Mistake #6: believing that the hole sizes would match the diameter of the sticks going in those holes.

Mistake #7: jamming them in there anyway.

Mistake #8: cursing when they break.

Mistake #9: wasting $5 on the stupid thing.

Mistake #10: freaking arts and crafts from the hobby section of the fabric store.

I should have known better. This isn't my first rodeo. Nothing, NOTHING I TELL YOU, that we have ever purchased in that section has worked out to be fun for everyone. Not unless you consider tears and frustration and cursing and splinters fun.

Mistake #11: Lying to him, telling him that we'll get another one. And this time, Mommy won't break it.