Jeremy relates a story from his Pop Culture class in college as Bishop is getting impaled.

Jeremy: Anyway, we were asked to look for any kind of symbolism in the movie, and in this scene, two people in unison yelled "Queen takes Bishop!" and it was annoyingly clever or cleverly annoying, depending on your point of view.

After getting fed up with all of the horror movie cliches in the film, Jeremy says this:

Jeremy: By my count, this is the 4th millionth time this has happened in a horror movie. I am CERTAIN the filmmakers will get a prize for this in a secret ceremony in Hollywood and the virgin sacrifice will appease their god, probably copied from another god.

Jeremy compares the demon controlling the doll to a "less evil Jeff Dunham."

After the movie's climax, Jeremy gives quite a number of sins about the movie's many unanswered questions, ending with this:

Jeremy: Also, if any soul would do, then why didn't the demon also haunt John? Are you telling me only a female soul will do? That's racist.(ding)

Jeremy: Hey, that's the day of this video's launch!note This video was uploaded on October 21, 2015 What a coincide- Hang on... What? It's NOT a coincidence? Wow. Why wasn't I told about this?

After a bunch of kids attempt to kill Principal Strickland in a drive-by shooting:

Jeremy: These assholes hate their principal so much that they're still angry enough to try and kill him in a drive-by six years after they've been required by anybody to even attend school.note The high school that Strickland was the principal of was burned down six years ago and they didn't rebuild it - Jeremy also points this out THAT... is a serious grudge.

Blade Series

Blade

Blade II

Blade: Trinity

Jeremy sins the opening narration, not just because it's narration, but also because it's Ryan Reynolds doing it as Hannibal King, not Deadpool, which makes Jeremy forlorn.

This:

Hannibal: But the movies are all full of sh*t.

Jeremy: Sins. I think you mean sins.

"It doesn't get more David Goyer than a vampire flipping off the sun."

Jeremy: This is the most roll-creditsing roll credits that has ever creditsed.

The bar scene

Deadshot: Well we almost pulled it off.

Jeremy: No, you f*cking didn't. You killed a bunch of bubbly monsters and briefly rescued a psychopath that is going to put you right back in prison. That's not pulling it off. That's participating in a s*itty LARP.

Wonder Woman

During the beach battle:

Antiope: (sees a German soldier about to shoot a distracted Diana) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (jumps on the way of the bullet)

Diana: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jeremy: No. No.

"Go drunk, movie. You're home."

When Diana discovers that Sir Patrick is actually Ares:

Jeremy: F*cking told you. Shock of all shocks.

Jeremy complains how the supposedly-hidden-forever Themyscira gets quickly discovered by the Germans pursuing Steve, claiming that people like Magellan or Vasco da Gama should have came across the island years ago.

When Batman shows up with a cup of coffee for Batgirl, Jeremy admits curiosity to what the conversation was like when he purchased it. One can't help but be reminded of a certain scene from Justice League where Batman buys coffee.

The start of the infamous sex scene

Jeremy: Batgirl defeats Batman?!?! What the hell is going on.. (Batgirl kisses Batman) WHAT THE F*CK?!

The title: "Everything Wrong With 'Batman & Robin' in an Awful Lot of Minutes"

"Joel Schumacher." *ding* "Also, Film." *ding*

"Did you ever want to know how much of an ego Arnold Schwarzenegger has? His name appears before the guy who plays Batman."

"So Freeze's escape plan was to turn his car into a rocket, launch out of the museum through the tiny skylight, climb to 30,000 feet and then exit the rocket ... leaving it to crash and destroy all of Gotham while Freeze gently glides ... back to the same museum ... in the heart of Gotham?" *ding*

This response to an early line from Batman:

Batman: This is why Superman works alone. "Really? What was all that Justice League sh*t then?" [Ding]

In response to Mr. Freeze's "What killed the dinosaurs?" quip:

"Well, I was gonna go with meteor. But then I saw Pacific Rim, and they said it was Kaiju. Honestly, I'm inclined to believe anything at this point."

"How did Clooney ever see straight with his head bobbing like this? The guy looks like he's in a constant for A Night at the Roxbury."

Jeremy's reaction to the Bat-Credit Card. It's quite like The Nostalgia Critic's yet worlds apart due to Jeremy's usual tone.

"Why does the card have a sound effect? It's a f*cking credit card. Are we suddenly in a kung fu movie?" *ding* "Also, Bat-Credit Card."

Jeremy: DC, the city. Look, it's a perfectly fine place but the brand DC taints everything with those initials! Direct current, AC/DC, disco cowboys and magicians from Vegas that made the Statue of Liberty disappear.

At a shot of a dimly lit warehouse:

Jeremy: Justice League: Saw!

This bit:

Demon: Yeah, not one bit! Eheheheheheh!

Jeremy: Demon #3 here must have watched Karate Kid all the time and wanted to be the "get a body bag" guy of the DC Comics universe.

"You know you don't have to use magic for literally everything, Constantine?! Coincidentally, "Wizard and asshole extraordinaire" is also what's on my business card. Actually, it's "Wizard and asshole extraordinaire, bitch!" because I love The Social Network...what was I saying now?"

Jeremy: So, in Batman Begins we wanted Batman to stop the train because Ra's Al Ghul wanted to blow up Wayne Enterprises and a corrupt Gotham. In this movie, we don't want the train to stop because V wants to blow up Parliament and a corrupt London. If Batman had shown up in this movie and told V, "You have to believe in the people of London," would V be the bad guy? Chew on that, movie revisionists.

Watchmen

There is something inherently funny about the fact that Jeremy chose to watch the nearly three-hour long extended edition of the film.

Advertisement:

Jeremy announces that he is critiquing the "Special Edition" of this movie:

"What the hell was wrong with the original movie that made it not 'special' enough for me as a kid? I feel like my whole youth is in question here."

In response to the Prince answering the door, revealing the beggar woman with the rose in a winter storm...

Jeremy: Okay, first of all, why is the Prince answering the castle door? I know for a fact that he has like 300 servants. *ding* Second, it's impressive that there's a stained-glass portrait of EVERY scene in this interaction with the old woman. *ding* Third, the background looks more like a thunderstorm than a snowstorm, so I'm immediately calling bulls*it on the old woman's story, and gotta agree with Prince Teen Wolf on this one. *ding*

When the beggar woman is revealed as an enchantress who punishes the Prince by turning him into the Beast...

Jeremy: Damn! We know the Prince is an asshole, but after turning away this flower-peddling woman ONCE she f*cked him up AND his entire staff, potentially forever! The real moral of the story is, unless you'reJoel Kinnaman, do NOT f*ck with an enchantress!

Jeremy questions the terms of the spell via the enchanted rose, "which would bloom until [the Prince's] 21st year":

Narrator: If he could learn to love another, [...] then the spell would be broken. Jeremy: He's gotta fall in love by the time he's 21?!?! Jesus, even by fairy tale standards that's pretty f*cking young. What if he wanted to backpack in Europe for a year, or volunteer with Greenpeace before settling down? Narrator: If not, he would be doomed to remain a Beast for all time. Jeremy: But it ALSO sounds like the enchantress made the Prince immortal, so... it's not THAT bad of a deal. With the way this chick goes around arbitrarily handing out punishments, it's pretty likely she ALSO did this to a princess, so at some point they would probably end up finding each other and living together forever as two pretty compatible, immortal beasts, especially after Tinder is invented.

At one point, Jeremy defends the Beast for becoming the way he is with this:

Jeremy: I'm not saying that excuses [the Beast] for being a kidnapping temper case, but he clearly had few positive role models in his life. Just a horny candle, a clock who won't disagree with him, and a teapot who ignores 19 of her 20 children.

"Jesus, can we wait until we get home for this lecture?" The funny part is that Jeremy sins this without further quotation.

At one point, Jeremy asks who started the fire that killed Tadashi, then promptly says that the Billy Joel music can be cued while we figure this out. "We Didn't Start the Fire" promptly plays in the background. After thinking that Callaghan did because he knew that the microbots would protect him as he birthed his revenge scheme, he then says, "You gotta have faith, so you can cue George Michael now." Michael's "Faith" plays immediately from there.

Cinderella

The countless jokes about how the mice subplot takes up too much of the film.

"This is a princess, right? Heir to the f*cking throne?! Not one person guarding her, or ... keeping an eye on her? This kingdom is run by f*cking idiots!"

Then, when Anna leaves the castle alone to search for Elsa, leaving Hans in charge in her absence...

"With a kingdom that plays things this loosey-goosey, you'd think some other kingdom would have long ago taken over this place. It's not like anyone's actually in charge of anything here."

Then, when Hans goes off to search for Anna and asks for volunteers to help him...

"But who are you going to leave in charge of Arendelle?"

A variation on this occurs near the end, after Hans] is defeated and the guards all cheer...

"These assholes had no idea Hans had turned evil. That all happened down at the ice lake, in the middle of the blizzard they couldn't see through... but hey, the princess just punched a dude, so, yuk it up everyone!"

At the end, Jeremy thinks that this movie and Tangled started out as the exact same script, since both movies have "an island kingdom, a long-unseen princess locked away, horse/reindeer playfulness, [and a] wild-scoundrel love interest".

Several moments in the post-review stinger:

As the trolls sing "Fixer Upper", the theme from Fraggle Rock is heard instead.

Tala: Maui tried to escape, but was confronted by another who sought the heart... Jeremy:(singing to "You're Welcome") What can I say, it's ex-position!!

This:

Tala:(addressing the children, including young Moana) ...until every one of us is devoured by the bloodthirsty jaws of INESCAPABLE DEATH!!!(all the children, except Moana, react in terror)Jeremy: Annnd that's how grandma got fired as the daycare teacher.

"Konami Code Pandering! Want to get a bunch of nerds excited about something in your movie?! Show them the Konami Code! It's like a secret handshake for...everyone who's ever played Contra and nobody else!"

It turns into a Running Gag as the various actors who performed in this movie had also performed in the Harry Potter movies (i.e., Alan Rickman as Absolem, Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen, Timothy Spall as Bayard), which Jeremy points out every single time:

As Alice reaches her hand into the mirror, Jeremy remarks, "This might as well be a roll credits here, I think."

Jeremy is confused by Alice's tiny size when she falls out the open midair door and lands in a flowerbed in Wonderland, which is normal-sized, so he decides to just add on two sins to this movie and moves on. Cue two dings.

Jeremy notices that Alice's clothes shrank with her body, which prompts this remark:

When Sacha Baron Cohen is introduced as Time, Jeremy is so appalled that he decides to add on 45 sins to the entire scene inside the clock tower, which he denounces as "a huge time-wasting MacGuffin of f*ckery." He then proceeds to a do a sped-up version of the sins featured herein. As there are 45 sins thus far, the next 45 sins added on result in 90 sins altogether thus far.

Jeremy:(as he fast-forwards through this scene) Oh, man, that's bad... (as Alice and Time interact) Oh, remember that? (as Time points to the clock on his chest) I'm glad we're fast-forwarding this... (the sound of food crunching is heard — maybe it's potato chips or something)

At the end of the video, the sins in the clock tower scene are featured again, this time at normal speed. One example:

Alice:(to Time about the Mad Hatter) Our friend is in mortal danger! Jeremy: But, like, why? Nothing actually happened to make him ill. There was no curse or spell, no physical ailment. He basically threw a temper tantrum and changed his physical appearance. That's not mortal danger, that's going goth.

Also, when Time meets the Red Queen...

Jeremy: Of COURSE the time guy Alice needs help from is in love with the main antagonist from the last movie. Because of course he is. Of course!

As Mirana, the White Queen, puts all of Wonderland's hopes in Alice, Jeremy thinks that Anne Hathaway, who plays the White Queen, is the real villain in this movie.

Jeremy gets increasingly annoyed at how morose the movie's tone is for such a beloved innocent series, culminating in him declaring that "This is the children's version of Remains of the Day!"

The Running Gag about Jeremy taking great pains to praise Jim Cummings' performance as Winnie-The-Pooh, even though he rips virtually every other part of the movie to shreds.

At a shot of Owl's eyeball peeking through a log, Jeremy claims that it's "subliminal advertising for [[Disney/Dinosaur}} the 2000 movie Dinosaur]]", showing the shot side-by-side with the movie's poster.

"Movie decides to cast Game of Thrones' Richard Madden against type as a prince who falls in love with the wrong woman. Something tells me this won't end in a Red Wedding but I'd knock off a hundred sins if it did."

The exasperation at Cinderella's mother's unexplained death. "What did she die of? Happiness?"

Maleficent

"No fairies were harmed in the making of this scene, because well, she used a tree army, and presumably all the fairies are back at home chilling and playing Call of Duty" *ding*

When King Stephen demands all the forgers be brought to him, the Narrator asks, " All of them? Are you sure you don't want to speak, like, the head forger or something?"

"Tree dragon." *ding*

Mary Poppins

At Bert's first line in the film:

Bert: Comical poems, ladies and gentlemen.

Jeremy: Bert is a Dick Van Dyke to the British accent.

This bit:

Bert: I can't put me finger on what lies in store; but I feel whats to happen has all happened before!

Mr. Banks: This made the tea unsuitable for drinking...even for Americans.

Jeremy: Oh, come on!! That was the funniest joke in the whole movie, but this movie won't let Banks get credit for it because his audience is a bunch of stuffy old dorks. What a ripoff. note [[The narrator using a mild insult like "dorks" is just unexpectedly funny.]]

The Jungle Book (2016)

Just like the above mentioned Beauty & The Beast and Cinderella, "This movie exists."

This exchange:

Mowgli: "You're kidding me?" Jeremy: Movie character says to Bill Murray Bear what I am currently saying to movie.

During the opening credits, Jeremy puts the casting of this film in perspective by saying that this is equivalent to casting Miranda Lambert and famed 1970s child actor Kristy McNichol in the 2016 version.

Also, when Red Buttons is credited as a character named Hoagy:

"Look, if Red Buttons is playing a character named Hoagy, this movie is probably pretty awful. Just saying."

Jeremy is so appalled by this film that, for the first time ever, he occasionally takes a break from sinning, pausing the movie and everything, to yell at his partner Chris for forcing him to watch it.

"Dude, have YOU seen this movie? I don't think so. I think you just put it on the schedule and assigned it to me because there's a remake coming. But this is some repugnant s*it, dude. And the worse it gets, the more I blame your ass. Just... FYI and s*it... asshole."

He resumes the rant later, culminating in an outraged demand that Chris "stop screening my calls!"

"Pete's Dragon, the fun family movie about cannibal hillbillies out to kill a mentally ill young boy! Can't imagine why this wasn't a hit."

At one point, Jeremy decides to Watch It Stoned and audibly lights up a bong, while the theme to Breaking Bad plays in the background. It doesn't help.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is referenced again in the climax of this film, when Doc Terminus attempts to kill Elliott with a harpoon, which Jeremy calls into question: "The only thing that could possibly kill Elliott is probably DIP. Or cancer."

"'Disney using gibberish as the hook of the movie's upbeat song' cliche. A time-honored tradition."

When the Gogan clan arrives in town, there's this:

Gogan clansman:(to another clansman) You grab onto Pete while I grab onto her [Nora]. Jeremy: That's the second time I've gotten a pretty strong sexual assault vibe from this movie, so I'm just gonna add 5 sins for that being okay in a Disney movie in 1977. *+5 dings*

Jeremy: Movie likely blows half its budget on licensing one Beatles song. They couldn't just bust out a Cyndi Lauper track or something? Can't imagine something like "Hole In My Heart" would've cost that much. Maybe two Snickers bars and a tube of lube? Not sure where I came up with that offer, but now I have some very weird cravings.

Jeremy: If you were confused after six minutes of horror movie contraptions, nightmare hallucinations and baby butt shots that you were at the correct movie, Dream Works assures you that, yes, this is the s*it you paid to see.

Police Officer: (talking to speaker) Yeah, that's right, a zebra. Right in front of me. Can I shoot it? Jeremy: America. *ding*Police Officer: Can I shoot it? Jeremy: Well, that depends if it's a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. *ding*

Jeremy goes out of his way to sin every poop or butt joke in the film.

Jeremy also blasts the numerous pop culture references parodied or mentioned in the film.

Alex:(Regarding the burnt Lady Liberty makeshift beacon, as he slams his fists on the sand)DARN YOU ALLTO HECK!Jeremy: At what point does a parent watching this with their kid decide to just put on an old movie instead? A good quarter of this film is just references to other films. *ding*

Three minutes into the movie, Shrek belches to light a fire in his fireplace, to which Jeremy replies:

Jeremy: Well, we've seen s*itting, farting, and burping in the movie's first 3 minutes, and with Cameron Diaz voicing a character, I'm sure we'll see semen in the hair later.

As the wanted fairy tale characters are being sold off, Jeremy questions Pinocchio's being sold in particular:

Jeremy: I know we're making fun of Disney here, but we're seriously gonna believe that Geppetto sells Pinocchio for 5 f*cking shillings? The witch got 20 pieces of silver, so [Geppetto] could totally get at LEAST 50 on the black market, especially since [Pinocchio's] face is plastered on a wanted poster.

Jeremy compares Duloc to Disneyland and Lord Farquaad to Michael Eisner "in a movie made by a studio headed by Jeffrey Katzenberg", who was formerly with Disney. Based on that, Jeremy concludes that Shrek is equivalent to "an ex-girlfriend bitching about how lame and stupid her ex-boyfriend was, but secretly wants to get back with him."

Jeremy questions why the dragon's castle, surrounded by a lake of lava, would have a suspension bridge across the lake to and from the castle:

Jeremy: If you stole this castle, why not just burn the bridge? Is it for the pizza delivery guy?

In the same vein:

Jeremy: Looking at the impossible nature of this place, I wonder how they got supplies here so that Princess Fiona wouldn't die while being held captive?

Jeremy questions the treasure stash in the dragon's castle...

Jeremy: It's not like [the dragon is] gonna go to town and plop down $50 for a handbag.

At Fiona's declaration of how ugly she is as an ogre.

Jeremy: Yes, but only in an "I'm in an animated movie" way. If this were real life and she were into nitpicky assholes, I'd probably hit that.

"On Demand Voyeur Porn."

When the spell is broken, revealing Fiona's true form as an ogre, even though her parents are human, Jeremy questions why she couldn't stay human and "have a Kermit/Miss Piggy relationship."

Jeremy:: To what are we granting the reason for this emotional renaissance to Branch? Sure, he told that story about his singing getting his grandma murdered but...it doesn't...I mean...I'm sorry, that story is still so f*cking stupid!

This bit:

*Pots and pans pile onto Bridget*

Jeremy: And Bridget is dead.

This:

Poppy: (to Branch) You don't sing, you don't dance, you're so gray all the time!

Jeremy: That's graycist.

"All the trolls have beautiful natural singing voices, but there's always one who has to Kanyeit up."

Poppy sings "The Sound of Silence" after Branch insists he's going to sleep:

Jeremy refers to the movie under alternative titles such as "Lyft: Infynyty War" "My Dinner With Susan" and "Paint Drying: The Motion Picture" when he gets annoyed at the lack of action throughout the film.

Seeing Michael B. Jordan and Reg E. Carthy (both actors from The Wire) play father and son reminds Jeremy of The Wire, which in turn makes him want to go watch it. In fact, Jeremy briefly stops making the video to go watch it.

Early in the movie, someone is seen jumping from a speeding car on an elevated highway to a speeding car on a ground level highway.

Jeremy: F*ck you. *ding*

This scene during the climax:

Luke: (jumps out of the moving airplane down to the moving jeep below him) Jeremy: Double GODDAMMIT. *ding* Letty: (jumps out of the moving airplane down to the moving jeep below her) Jeremy: Triple GODDAMMIT. *ding*

During the climax, when Dom manages to drive out of the exploding airplane through the nose:

"The acceptance of sh*t like this is why we can't have good movies." *ding*

In a moment before that:

Letty, it's just a wreck that kills people. Dom will be fine

Already lots of sins for the scene with the tank, but then in the next scene the characters comment that the tank was 70 tons.

Jeremy: Okay, so 70 tons? That tank's 70 tons were in any way slowed down or stopped by a f*cking Mustang? F*CK YOU IN THE EAR, MOVIE.

The final comment:

Jeremy: You can sit back and drink your Red Bull and blab all you want about how all these movies are escapist fun and you're not supposed to take them seriously, but I'm still gonna fuck your sister later tonight.

"Hey look, in Tokyo they ALSO have unreasonably short skirts at car gatherings! We're not really so different after all!!"

Jeremy suffers Sarcasm Failure when Dom drives his car off a cliff and is completely fine afterwards.

Jeremy slaps an instant 1000 sins for the "jump from building to building" stunt in Abu Dhabi. And then gives the movie an extra "screw you" sin for being referred to as "the most critically acclaimed movie in the franchise".

"Tonight, the part of Holly Holm will be played by Michelle Rodriguez."

Very late in the video, when a parking lot caves in on Dom.

Letty: DOM!!

Jeremy: <sigh> Letty... just... he's fine.

The fact that the sin counter added up to 1337, which is Leet Speak.

Sentence: 6 Months On The Fury Road. note Nux: Oh, what a day! WHAT A LOVELY DAY!

The "In X minutes" part of the title is changed to "<sigh>". Not "In <sigh> minutes", just "<sigh>".

"The guy (Christian Grey) may have a big dick, but he also IS a big dick. Dick." *ding*

Jeremy compares the fact that the book came from Twilightfan-fiction to recycling the action from the shock video, 2 Girls 1 Cup.

The first scene in the hardware store.

Anastasia: Maybe coveralls, so you could protect your clothes? Christian: Could just take all my clothes off. Jeremy: What a whore. *ding*

"Movie that promised me kinky sex has gone over 23 minutes without offering up any kinky sex." *ding*

"Wow, even the "Bella lip-bite" is lifted from Twilight! Does this movie have one single f*cking thing to offer me that is original, besides the kinky sex which, incidentally, still hasn't shown up at the 30 f*cking minute mark?!" *ding*

Jeremy noting that the number of rich and powerful people "who would want to see the anointing of a new evil king" are basically the number of people that came to see Terminator Genisys on opening weekend".

Jeremy: Man, it'd be weird if Dr. Wynn returned in the sixth installment of this franchise and turned out to be the head of an evil cult that worships Michael Myers. Thank God that movie doesn't exist.

Jeremy wonders how Michael Myers learned to drive if he spent his whole life in an insane asylum, then comes to the conclusion that he used secret Mario Kart paths.

"I get the sense that Slytherin needs to re-brand itself. I mean, everything associated with Slytherin is evil. All the evil kids go here. If you're sent to Slytherin, the school is basically saying, 'You're a bad kid... Have fun being an asshole, s*ithead.'" *ding*

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

"Black could be anywhere." "That's racist." *ding*

The boggart scene:

Jeremy: Holy sh*t, she just turned that cobra into something even scarier. Why is everyone laughing?! *ding*

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

At the scene where Ireland's magic fireworks turn into a dancing leprechaun: "That's racist." *ding*

This:

Hermione:(to Ron) Would you care to join us? Ron: No, I would not care to join you and Viktor. Jeremy: Ron's character motivations are so base he might as well just be a penis. *ding*

"The Yule Ball has been a tradition of the Triwizard Tournament since its inception." *BWOWM*

"From now on, I'm calling my penis 'Secret Swan'". *ding*

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

When Harry snaps at Ron:

Harry: I said I'm fine, Ron! Jeremy: Harry Potter is a dick to Rons. *ding*

Harry: And the more you care, the more you have to lose. Jeremy: Well, then I must have nothing to lose right about now. *ding*Harry: So maybe it's just better to... Hermione: To what? Jeremy: Well, sh*t, Hermione... if you don't interrupt, maybe he'll answer the question! *ding*Ron: Any idea where he's taking us? Harry: Hagrid, why can't you just tell us? Jeremy: Because this is a Harry Potter movie, and he's Hagrid. I mean... those are the only two reasons I can see. *ding*Hagrid: With Dumbledore gone... I'll likely be getting the sack any day now. [Scene of Umbridge speaking to Hagrid is shown]Jeremy: Didn't Umbridge visit you and already do that? *ding*Hagrid: I couldn't just leave [Grawp], because... because he's my brother. Jeremy:Dun dun DUUUUHN!*ding*Also, CGI brother is CGI.*ding*[Ron tries to smack Grawp's leg with a stick when the latter grabs Hermione, but the stick breaks]Jeremy: Is Ron serious? *ding*

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

After layering all the relationship stuff, we get into Ron at the infirmary.

Jeremy: Love how all the teachers are just silently absorbing the teen romance drama unfolding in front of them, as though there aren't more important topics to discuss or things to do. *ding*

About Slughorn:

Harry: You said Professor Slughorn would try to collect me. Jeremy: Yeah, what the f*ck did you mean by that? *ding*Harry: Do you want me to let him? Jeremy: Wait...You KNOW what the f*ck he meant by that? *ding*

About Butterbeer:

Harry: Anyone fancy a butterbeer? Jeremy: NO! I've been to your Wizarding World and I've had your "butterbeer" and it's disgusting. Cream soda, crossed with marshmallow, crossed with 15 pounds of sugar. You turned "sweet" into a swear word! *ding*

Jeremy REALLY doesn't like the magical dancing cake topper. After the initial sin, he mentions it three more times

First:

Jeremy: Plenty of magic to go around during a time when everyone's scared of a massive threat. We can't protect the children, but we can make cake-toppers dance, so we got that going for us. *ding*

Next, when the Weasleys' house catches on fire:

Jeremy: Why is the family that uses magic to scrub pans and move cake-toppers worried about a simple fire? Can't they just magic up themselves a new shoe-house? *ding*

Then, when Harry and Dumbledore call the boat to reach Voldemort's Horcrux:

Jeremy: He's calling a boat out of the water, but... it's kind of hard to believe that in a world with a spell that makes cake-toppers dance there's not also a spell just to create a boat and plop it right where you're standing. *ding*

Finally, in the scene where Harry overhears the conversation between Malfoy and Dumbledore:

Jeremy: In a world full of magical bullsh*t that is completely unnecessary, there is apparently nothing called an "anti-eavesdropping" spell. They can create invisible train station entrances, fix eyeglasses, and other completely useless sh*t. Like dancing cake toppers. Have I mentioned this movie has magical dancing cake toppers? Because it does. *ding*

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1

When Hermione reads the tale of the three brothers:

Hermione: There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. Ron: Midnight. Mom always said midnight. (Hermione glares at him)Ron: ...But twilight's fine. Better, actually. Jeremy: Ron betrays the Harry Potter series by saying "Twilight is better". I bet he's even on Team Jacob, the bastard. *ding*

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2

When Harry is gathering Snape's tears into a vial, Jeremy Scott jokes about the movie's rapid shift in tone.

Jeremy: Funny story. So, I went to go to the bathroom, and then I came back to a completely different auditorium showing a movie where some dude's tears were suddenly magical and being harvested by...Oh, wait, this is the RIGHT auditorium? *ding*

When Voldemort announces "Harry Potter is dead!" and all of the other Death Eaters laugh, Jeremy responds by saying "Voldemort at the Improv!"

When Harry and Voldemort lock wands during the final showdown.

Jeremy: Harry and Voldemort set a bad example on how to celebrate Christmas. *ding*

When Luna sits down next to Neville after the final fight between Harry and Voldemort:

Jeremy: And the unlikely romantic pairings continue. *ding*

Home Alone Series

Home Alone

At the opening shot of the house, all adorned with Christmas lights...

Jeremy: Why, yes, the obviously well-off family with 1,600 kids has overdone it on the Christmas lights. Thanks for noticing!

This:

Buzz: Is it true that French babes don't shave their pits?

Jeremy: C'est raciste.

Peter tells Kevin to pick up the Micro Machines off the floor, which prompts this remark:

Jeremy: Holy hell, a film shout-out to Micro Machines, whose commercials are on record as being 1/3 the inspiration of CinemaSins! Two sins off!! (-2 sins)

Jeremy keeps commenting on the borderline sadistic nature of Kevin's traps, while taking occasional potshots at the implausibility of Kevin planning out and setting up all the traps in his house in little over one hour.

Jeremy:(as Kevin is leaving the church) Kevin cuts this extremely close, waiting until 8:00 pm before even starting his plan to horribly mutilate Marv and Harry. *ding*

Jeremy:(as Kevin unrolls the map of the traps) Not only did Kevin have time to develop this pain map in less than one hour, he found time to colorize it. *ding*

(after Kevin has shot Harry and Marv a few times —in the crotch and the face, respectively— with a BB-gun)Jeremy: At this point, the burglars should call the cops on this psychotic little bastard that openly rejoices after shooting people in the face. *ding*

Jeremy:(when Harry activates the blowtorch trap) Not only does this not burn the house down, why the f*ck do the McCallisters have an antique blowtorch? And it works?!?! *ding*

Kevin: You guys had enough or are you thirsty for more? Jeremy: Kevin could have called the cops several minutes ago, but would like to enact a few more acts of torment onto these wretched bastards. *ding*

(as Harry and Marv get caught by the tripwire after pushing their way through every other trap)Jeremy: Kevin turns this impeccably-designed unholy house of pain into a damn footrace at the end. *ding*

Kevin: Hey, guys! (prepares to cut the zipline)Jeremy: Had Kevin just run to the Murphys' house and left Marv and Harry up on the rope, he'd have avoided any dramatics when he got there, but no... this little asshole knows no mercy. *ding*

When Kevin gets a hotel room by using a voice modifier to make his order:

Kevin (slowed-down voice) This is Peter McCallister. The father. Plaza Hotel woman: Yes, sir. Kevin (slowed-down voice): I'd like a hotel room. Plaza Hotel woman: Yes. Jeremy: If you needed any more proof that Kevin grows up to be Saw and/or The Collector, here it is.

Jeremy: I know I'm going hard on this movie, and it deserves it, but I'm taking off a sin for Tim Curry, who's a national f*cking treasure. And I don't care that he's English, we're claiming him! (-1 sin)

Everything with Mr. Duncan:

Mr. Duncan: Two turtle doves. You keep one, and you give the other one to a very special person. Jeremy: "Or to a random homeless lady that you'll meet tonight and get to know for less than two hours. Up to you." *ding*Mr. Duncan: You see, turtle doves are a symbol of friendship and love. Jeremy: The 1990's was the last decade where this line being delivered by an old dude to a kid wouldn't be creepy. *ding*

Dubbing one of Henry Jones Sr.'s lines into the moment where Harry and Marv are swarmed by pigeons. What's even funnier is that this was added after Marv's girly scream as he's being repeatedly pecked.

"I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky!"

Illumination Entertainment films

Despicable Me

When the bank loan officer is seen, he is eating an apple, prompting Jeremy to do a variation on the "eating an apple makes you look like an asshole" Running Gag:

Jeremy reaching for the Brain Bleach when he learns the Minions have a sex drive.

Jeremy: It was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow blob can't be unseeny. *Ding* Also, does this fire hydrant threesome mean that Minions have sex drives? Aaaaand I just realized Rule 34 applies to Minions and I would like to be done existing now, thanks.

The Secret Life of Pets

This:

Minion: ILLUMINATION! ILLUMINATION!

Jeremy: IRRITATION! IRRITATION!

"For a movie that likes animals so much, you think they'd stop beating a dead horse."

The medium, Elise declares that the comatose boy, Dalton is lost in a place she calls "The Further".

Jeremy: Aww...couldn't you have named it something a lot cooler?

Elise declares that ghosts have gathered in the home because they can smell the boy's empty vessel.

Jeremy: Yes these dead things can smell Dalton's empty, living vessel. That's why they waste their time turning on record players downstairs and appearing out of nowhere and generally making a nuisance of themselves.

Elise is wearing a World War II gas mask to conduct a seance, for some reason.

Jeremy: Oh come on.

Elise: "LEAVE HIS BODY!"

Jeremy: Why are demons so easily removed by yelling at them?

Josh is overpowered by a being, and Elise gives him a motivational speech, assuring him that he is stronger due to having a living body. This allows him to shove the male with great force.

Jeremy: Really? that's all it took to fend off the demon? A little pep talk and a Street Fighter move?

Insidious Chapter 2

Sin 46: When the ghost of Parker Crane's mother appears before Renai, screams "Don't you dare!" and slaps her unconscious.

"Yeah, I'm a demon. I slap people when I'm angry. You want a slap about it or what?!"

James Bond films

Goldfinger

When Goldfinger is revealed to be on the plane at the end of the movie:

Jeremy: Oh come on. I could probably rattle off a hundred reasons why Goldfinger couldn't possibly have pulled this off, but I'm just gonna ding it. I mean, damn. *ding*

In one of the stingers, they put the "Ricola" commercial sound over a shot of the Swiss mountains.

During the scene where Bond sends away a female masseuse by slapping her butt, Jeremy muses "You take care, Continuity Girl!", lamenting the fact that there is a credited "continuity girl" in the film.

Jeremy is less than awed by one of the most iconic scenes in action movie history:

Bond: You expect me to talk?

Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!

Jeremy: Something that a bullet could have done unconscious o'clock ago. *ding*

Thunderball

Jeremy tries to hit the movie with a "Roll Credits" sin for the musical Title Drop, but is tripped up by the fact that credits are, in fact, rolling.

Jeremy: Did... Bond just threaten Q's cats? And maybe Q's life in the process? That's the reason Q's going along with this? My hero? *ding*

During the snow plane scene, these sins ensue:

Jeremy: As Bond's incredibly stupid stunt is about to prove, this easily could have killed Madeleine, but f*ck it. *ding*

(When Bond is using the snow plane as a toboggan to turn at a dangerous curve...)Jeremy: This bulls*it is the most Pierce Brosnan-esque the Daniel Craig Bond movies have ever gotten]]!! *ding*(And after he uses the snow plane to crash through a building and ram it into the enemy's vehicles...)Jeremy: This is the kind of lucky bulls*it that I can't f*cking stand in these movies anymore. *ding*Madeleine: Did it cross your mind that you led them to me?! Jeremy: Madeleine is 100% f*cking correct. *ding*(And during the moment where the supposedly dead Mr Hinx has a Finger-Twitching Revival...)Jeremy:Batista is a horror movie villain. *ding*

Near the end, Jeremy goes on a rant due to the inconsistencies of the pieces on the board and adds a total 63 sins: 23 for the number of inconsistencies, 15 for each minute he spent writing up said inconsistencies, and 25 more for the studio screwing it up so often.

After hearing the girls speaking French at the end, he swears to god that if Dwayne Johnson isnt wearing a beret and eating croissants in the sequel.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

When the board game transforms into a video game offscreen with a sickly green glow:

Jeremy: Is there a Gremlin masturbating to a sleeping Alex?

Jeremy instantly notes the movie's Sony product placement:

Jeremy: It's 2017 and these kids all have Sony phones. Nothing weird about that at all.

Jeremy: Movie keeps putting in all these actors who were red hot in the mid-90s like that's not distracting as sh*t. I mean, I love this guy and his character, but damn it's like the casting director looked at the list of actors for this movie, tried to narrow it down, and finally said, "I will choose...

Jeremy: It's not a Jurassic Park movie if someone isn't trying to smuggle something dino-related off the island. No, seriously. Every movie. I bet Jurassic World has some theme park investor trying to smuggle a baby dino inside his suitcase or some sh*t. You watch.

Jurassic World

What is probably some of the most biting sarcasm ever put in a video:

Owen: (after the I. rex just wiped out a capture team) Get everyone off the island. Claire: We'd never reopen. Jeremy: Ooooooh, okay then. Keep it open. *ding*

One character sprints through a cramped area being shot at by about a dozen guards without getting tagged (technically his suit is bulletproof, but his face and limbs aren't). CinemaSins responds to this by playing the invincibility music from Super Mario Bros. over the scene.

"Man...anal sex...it could be said that the end of this movie got downright cheeky, amiright?" *ding*

The movie starts off with lampshades as to how movies begin. Jeremy makes quick note of each lampshade, and gets to a point where he wonders if the movie is a fan of Cinema Sins.

Jeremy: If the movie had just said, "Narreading," I would have stopped the movie and the sins video right here. Shortest sins video ever. Job would be done. We'd have an internal discussion about even releasing it.

The movie did a great job of actually making Jeremy laugh, prompting quite a few sin removals.

Jeremy points out that the elevator is way slow, microwaving lobsters are for suckers, and Batman is watching Jerry Maguire.

The Running Gag about the terrible singing voices of the actors in the movie such as referring to Colin Firth's voice as "Kermit the Frog doing a James Taylor impression" and Pierce Brosnan as "a drunk David Bowie impersonator".

This culminates in the sentence for the movie: "An Entire Album of Colin Firth & Pierce Brosnan Duets".

This bit:

Donna: What have those men ever done for their daughter?

Jeremy:Their?

Jeremy repeatingly points out the green screens for outdoor shots despite the fact the filmmakers actually shot it in Greece.

Jeremy points out the implications of Sophie singing "When I Kissed The Teacher" for her valedictorian speech.

This:

Jeremy: Donna's song is so infectious, they graduate without getting their diplomas and ride their bikes through town and sing. Now, this would be fine if they were Muppets. But they're not. They're humans. So it's not fine.

"So much of this movie is flashback. They should have called it Mamma Mia: Here We Went Again!"

The Running Gag of the movie having to dig to the bottom of the barrel for ABBA songs in their catalog.

A Call-Back to the original sins video when Jeremy proclaims that the singing voice of Dominic Cooper is "somewhere between drunk, late night open bar in Sacramento and Captain Von Trapp in a fifth-grade production of The Sound of Music."

Jeremy refers to a weird-looking candle holder as "Satan's Irony Lantern: designed to make you die by lighting a single match!"

This:

Tanya: 2 of your 3 fathers couldn't make it.

Jeremy: Oh, CHRIST.

This bit:

Donna: Sailors used to think that the world was flat and that you'd sail off the edge!

When Tony's eating doughnuts in the Randy's Donuts structure, they have Homer Simpson saying, "I paid for a colossal doughnut, and I'm going to get a colossal doughnut."

Thor

Jeremy going over Loki's complex, yet dumb plan to become the heir to the throne of Asgard.

"Movie introduces Hawkeye and he does jack s*it."

This gem:

Thor: Can you see her?

Heimdall: (chuckles) Yes.

Jeremy: Hey, can you tell me what she's wearing?

One of the stingers: Playing the "We Do" song from The Simpsons over the scene when Thor talks with Hogan and Volstag before they go to Johtunheim.

The Avengers

"This is a Tesseract, and that's pretty much all we'll ever know for sure about it." *ding*

The numerous hints of love among the superheroes, whether it's Captain America and Iron Man almost kissing or Tony Stark and Bruce Banner driving off together while the Cinema Sins Narrator wonders if they are dating.

"Cap gets AIDS from handling bloody baseball cards."

A pair of "superhero pissing contests."

Iron Man 3

Putting audio from The Incredibles of Syndrome taunting Mr. Incredible over a clip with Aldrich Killian after Tony Stark is captured.

After Killian murders Maya Hansen.

Killian: ...a high-level position has just been vacated. The Joker: So which of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team?

The Bonus Round consisting of every submission of "Scene does not contain a lap dance".

When we find out that The Mandarin is actually a washed up British actor named Trevor Slattery.

And the misfit sins as well, such as "Why. Is there a bunny?" (in response to Pepper's white outfit), "You're lazy. Sins are your job.", "The black guy doesn't die? (sorry for racism)" and "What if a shark eats it?" Presumably referring to Tony Stark throwing his deactivated chestpiece into the Pacific Ocean.

One of the stingers shows a clip of Cap visiting his wing in the museum. In place of the regular video is Everything Wrong With Captain America: The First Avenger.

One of the stingers is combining Steve Rogers' speech via speakers in the S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ with Emmet Brickowski's "I may not be a Master Builder" speech from The LEGO Movie.

Captain America: Attention, all SHIELD agents, this is Steve Rogers. (in Emmet's voice) I may not be a Master Builder. I may not have a lot of experience fighting or leading or coming up with plans, or having ideas in general.

Jeremy criticizing Cap's tendency to be invincible in the movie by asking why the good guys come up with a plan to use chips to subvert Project Insight, instead of just having Cap knock all the heli-carriers out of the sky by punching their engines out.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Saying Gamora looks like the child of Uhura and the "green chick" from Star Trek (2009) along with the "blue chick" from Avatar. Then giving it a sin for not featuring a "sex tape" of said conception.

A touch of Self-Deprecation, comparing the assumed ease of Vin Diesel's voiceover job playing Groot to his own doing Cinema Sins.

An additional bit of Self-Deprecation comes when Rhomann Dey says that he doesn't believe anyone is one-hundred percent a dick:

Dubbing over the Guardians' police lineup with the audio from the police lineup scene in The Usual Suspects.

After using the "I may not be a Master Builder" speech in one of the stingers of EWW Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Jeremy uses it again, this time applying it to Peter Quill, who is played by Chris Pratt, who also voiced Emmet in The LEGO Movie.

"In 2016, audiences were delighted to see Inception 2 in theaters, which they weirdly called Doctor Strange. I mean, strangely called Doctor Strange."

Jeremy takes a minute to draw some parallels between Stephen Strange and another, surprisingly similar superhero.

Jeremy: Oh, gee... A hot, rich, [...] brilliant, cocky, charming guy who gets deeply injured, then overcomes that injury to become the hero... that's so Starkly familiar... where have I — oh right, BruceWayne.

Jeremy: That's a rude way to greet people you don't know. Why, I woke up one time in this room and this dude tried to do all this gnarly sh*t with these strange tools and I was all like "Who the hell are you" and he said "I'm your f*cking dentist!". Dr. James Packer D.D.S was tough but fair.

Jeremy is distracted by a sign saying that "We will deep fry your kebab" and spends some time trying to piece together what it might mean.

Jeremy: Why a snap? Why not an OK sign or a salute? Or a middle finger? Or The Shocker?

During the fight on Titan, Jeremy removes a sin for Thanos utilizing the moon in the fight, stating that they'd answered a question he'd never thought to ask - but then sins it because everyone survives it.

"Oh hey, Frodo. What are you doing in this film? Not a damn thing." *ding*

"This kill is lucky, but this kill is downright inexcusable." *ding*

The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug

The sentence uses Thorin's dwarvish insult, then dubs over Kyle for a translation.

"Dude, I think he told us to go f*ck ourselves!"

Jeremy's complaints about the film's long runtime, which culminates in this after a Title Drop:

Jeremy: Roll credits... please! *ding*

When the dwarves reach the mountain entrance and are about to give up because the keyhole isn't visible:

Jeremy: Bull-SH*T. We walked all this f*cking way and nearly died a million times. Give me the f*cking key and I'll drag it along the rock until it hits a keyhole. *ding*

The Hobbit - The Battle of the Five Armies

Jeremy's explanation of Gandalf's plan, pointing out a major flaw.

"Also, let's not forget the very reason why this whole thing happened. Gandalf met with Thorin and told him to retake the Mountain. And his vague reasoning was that "darker minds would turn their heads toward it", forgetting the fact that everyone so scared of this damn dragon that no one DARED go near it, and the idea of Sauron's return was not even considered possible at the time. I don't know what "darker minds" Gandalf was thinking about... but none of those assholes could have killed the dragon. It took a well-placed arrow in a rumored weak spot to take that f*cker down, but Gandalf was worried enough that he started all this sh*t. Never once did he seem concerned about Thorin getting "dragon-sickness", but oh well. Gold is evil. I think we all learned something here today."*ding*

Jeremy commenting on the reduced screentime for Bilbo, who is supposed to be the main character of this series:

Jeremy: This movie about elves and dwarves is strangely titled The Hobbit. *ding*

The question about what Frodo was doing for that long time after Bilbo disappeared. "What the f*ck was Frodo doing for the last 20 minutes after Bilbo disappeared? Looking for Bilbo in places other than Bilbo's house?"

"Convenient hiding tree is convenient."

The Nazgûl feel the presence of the ring at all times and are drawn to it... until it's convenient for them not to be drawn to it.

The proper identification of a blade.

Aragorn: He's been stabbed by a Morgul blade. (blade turns to dust)

Jeremy: You know, the kind that dissolve dramatically after you identify it.

"Terrible as the dawn?! The f*ck is that supposed to mean?"

The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers

This moment.

Legolas: This forest is old.

Jeremy: How old is it?!

(brief pause)

Legolas: Very old.

Aragorn stating that 2,000 good men are riding north, followed by the scene in which the group of men (a rather small group) is sent.

(an arrow points at the men) "Does this look like 2,000 men? Where did Aragorn learn to count?"

Legolas doing an almost-acrobatic move to climb above a horse.

"You know,I believe a lot of things in these movies: magic, talking trees, immortality, evil spirits... but in no way do I believe Legolas got on this horse in the manner depicted."

Followed by a quick examination of the dwarf who is behind him on the horse.

"Who... the f*ck is that? That is not Gimli!"

"To enter the Forbidden Pool bears the penalty of death."

Jeremy: The Forbidden Pool? Are you making this sh*t up as you go along?

On the sin videos of both this and the former movie, the Nazgûl have failed to detected the ring they are meant to detect even when feet away from it. This subject is not mentioned again until near the end of the video, when Nazgûl is seen.

(arrow points at the Nazgûl) "This asshole probably still can't detect the ring."

The sentence - Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.

The last stinger: An Uruk-Hai runs to set the bombs while holding a torch to the Olympic Games theme.

The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King

As the Rohirrim Army takes down one of the Oliphants: "No CGI elephants were injured in the making of this scene."

Ethan: WAKE UP, CLAIRE! JIM'S DEAD! THEY'RE DEAD! THEY'RE ALL DEAD!(Voice changes to Al Capone's) I want him dead! I want his family dead! I want his house burned to the ground! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna piss on his ashes!

When Ethan is wearing a black bag mask to see Max, the audio of Pulp Fiction plays over the scene.

Zed: Bring out the Gimp. Maynard: Gimp's sleeping. Zed: Well, I guess you're gonna have to go wake him up now, won't you?

Jeremy: So, while [Nyah and Ambrose] had sex, did Ethan watch the tiny yellow dot move three inches, then back three inches, and so on and so forth... during the whole thing? *ding*[Ethan contemplates over a sunset]Jeremy: "My thief girlfriend is banging her criminal ex-boyfriend" sunset. *ding*

When Luther is almost shot:

Luther: That punk put a hole in my Versace! Jeremy: Okay... you wearing Versace on a mission, him hitting the jacket and not you, and you not taking the opportunity to use the Showgirls pronounciation of Versayce. Three sins in one. (+3 sins)

Brassel: I've been trying to bring Davian down since the day I got here. Jeremy: Does that mean you too are a failure at CIA-ing? *ding*Brassel: Your operation has achieved one thing. You have reminded Davian that he is winning. Jeremy: And that's what we hate the worst at the CIA, is bad-guy self-affirmations. *ding*

When Ethan is escaping from the IMF because he was framed of being a rogue agent, knocking over a box filled with Virginia Department of Transportation (VGOT) brochures...

Jeremy:Irony. note Ethan's IMF cover job is an analyst for the Virginia Department of Transportation.*ding*

Jeremy: If you think that I'm not going to remove 5 sins for this badassery, you are dead wrong. (-5 sins)

His comment on where the Austrian Chancellor is seated during the opera scene:

Jeremy: This is how this sh*t is set up: The Chancellor of Austria is seated in a super-up-close side booth, and way above him is an empty booth that NONE of his guards are guarding? Do I have that right? *ding*

MonsterVerse

Godzilla (2014)

While Ford and another soldier are trying to escape a burning train heading their way while on the train tracks:

"Also, it's never a good sign when your 8-year-old son grabs a picture of an older man you've never met and says, 'Hey! I know him!'"

National Treasure

National Treasure

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

While looking at one of the desks made from the Resolute in 1880

Jeremy: Let me ask you this question: If this desk was built in 1880, and the Statue of Liberty replica was built in 1889, how the F*CKING GODDAMN PISS HELL does John Wilkes Booth have a diary in 1865 that points to ANY of this s*it? *ding*

Now You See Me Films

Now You See Me

"They programmed his mind to make him go to Las Vegas..." "Is this for real? They just performed Inception on this guy while passing him on the street?"

After already pointing out a fleet of Contrived Coincidences and improbable "tricks" throughout the movie, the protagonists get past a cop. "The amount of convenience in this scene is overwhelming. They predicted every single move this cop would make in a fight. If they can do that, why do they need to do these magic shows and sh*t? I mean, they're basically gods!"

Now You See Me 2

"It must be a pretty sad world where "magic debunker" is an actual thing you can get famous doing. Someone who takes the fun out of every damn thing. It's almost like getting famous for being a 'Santa Claus Isn't Real' Informer and CinemaSins."

Jeremy: Why are you surprised? Why is anyone surprised? You built a giant wall to try and keep out something that eats boats and giant robots for breakfast.

As a Jaeger wrestles with a Kaiju in Hong Kong City's harbor, they destroy several huge freight containers, to which Jeremy exclaims, "Aw man, my f*cking Xbox ONE was in there!"

At one point, the Jaeger loses contact with the Kaiju and can't pinpoint it.

Jeremy: How can you possibly lose track of a Kaiju? This is even worse than when the military kept losing track of Godzilla.

Later, after they destroy the Kaiju and celebrate their victory, one of the Jaeger members exclaims, "It's pregnant!" when seeing a baby Kaiju, prompting Jeremy to remark: "We don't have nearly enough similarities to Godzilla in this movie; let's add some more."

Towards the end, a bunch of helicopters go out over the water to rescue the two survivors in a life raft:

Jeremy: "Hey boss, how many choppers should we send out to pick up the two survivors?" "F*ck it, all of 'em!"

Pacific Rim: Uprising

Jeremy starts off the video completely blindsided by the poor quality of the narration:

Jake: Most of the world has recovered. But a few coastal cities never did and the world is picking up the pieces.

"I liked this movie better when it was called Starship Ender's Troopers Aliens Kingsman's Game."

Upon seeing the contents of a fridge:

Jeremy: Oh yeah, everyone has that shelf in the fridge that holds multiple cans of whipped cream which is right in front of the beer, which is in front of a bunch of lemons out in the open. I call it the whipbeerlemon shelf.

"Welcome to Paranormal Activity 3, the movie where you are literally watching paint dry."

Jeremy threatening to add 50 sins to the film automatically if Micah shows up, and adding a sin for having to say his name.

Jeremy: #MicahIsADouche

Jeremy pointing out how weird and creepy it is that Katie and Kristi have had a tape containing the beginning of their mother and stepfather's sex tape laying around for most of their lives.

Jeremy shows what the closed captioning is showing for the scene of Dennis walking down the sidewalk for 30 seconds:

[crickets chirping]

In regards to Toby "showing up" again at the end:

Jeremy: Ok so is, like, the grandma in charge of Toby? Is Toby the demon who was impregnating the girls to have their ghost babies, that they then have no memory of? Is it a family ghost that went from, generation to generation? Why was the mother skipped? So many questions. But mostly (throws up the [crickets chirping] caption, accompanied by... guess)

Paranormal Activity 4

"Movie series blah blah blah video game table tennis."

"OH F*CK! A CHAIR!"

"There's a shadow! Now f*ck your face."

"Watching this movie at 2x speed is a slightly improved experience over watching it in normal speed. That's not as much a sin as it is a helpful tip. Which was a show we planned on producing but had to cancel it because "Cinema Tips" was already taken by an adult entertainment company."

Jeremy theorizes that Alex's parents aren't home at 1 in the morning because their marriage counselor was a vampire.

Jeremy: Why are they practising bad stage fighting? Are they putting on a play later? Is it like a drama camp? *ding*

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Jeremy's general disdain for the narration.

Percy: At first, I didn't believe it either. Jeremy: Neither did I! Oh, wait, did I miss the part where you explain what the hell you're talking about? *ding* Also, narration. *ding*Percy: Sometimes, these gods have children with humans-children called half-bloods. Jeremy: And Voldemort hates those assholes. *ding*

The scene where the cab splits in two. Jeremy says that is so obnoxious, he gives it five sins.

"At first, the governor wants to shoot Jack on sight without knowing who he is or what he's done. Then when he finds out Jack is a pirate, he wants to hang him. Why the change? To delay Jack's death so he can escape later?"

Then, as Sparrow escapes, Gov. Swann asks Norrington and his men to shoot Sparrow...

"Will you make up your f*cking mind? We didn't shoot him before because you said 'hang him,' remember?"

Finally...

Norrington: Mr. Sparrow has a dawn appointment with the gallows. Jeremy: But I thought the order was to shoot him now.

Jeremy takes into account some of Norrington's men as they try to shoot Sparrow:

Jeremy:(pointing out one soldier) This guy's closing his eyes while firing. (pointing out a second soldier) This guy's got his head turned completely to the side. (pointing out a third soldier)And this guy appears to be three feet tall.

Will Turner slams a hatchet down on a map, prompting Jeremy to call him "a dick to maps".

As Sparrow and Turner switch back and forth between the Dauntless and the Interceptor to shove off to sea, while being pursued by the soldiers, who also abandon ship as they pursue them, there's this:

"Is it naval policy to abandon ship completely when you search other ships for two f*cking criminals?"

In the climax, after the curse is lifted, and Pintel and Ragetti are held at gunpoint by the pair of bumbling soldiers...

At first, the final sentence for this movie is "Tortuga", but Will Turner is heard saying, "That's not good enough!", so the sentence is immediately changed to "Davy Jones' Locker" instead, to which Jack Sparrow is heard saying, "Not sure I deserved that."

Dead Man's Chest

At World's End

"Everything wrong with Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End In... the minutes... oh the minutes!!"

Jeremy calls out all of the singing in the opening of the film.

"TOO MUCH SINGING!"

In the same vein, in the opening scene, before the prisoners are executed, their singing as one leads to this:

Early on, Merida says, in voiceover narration, that she could never get away with anything. As she is eating an apple while saying this, Jeremy blames it on said apple, which, of course, makes her "look like an asshole."

Moments later, Merida is seen stealing an apple, which makes her guilty of "DOUBLE asshole duty in two minutes".

Two moments during the archery contest that Jeremy thinks are phallic metaphors. The first is this:

Merida: And I'll be shooting from my own hand! Jeremy: This is probably as blunt of a masturbation metaphor as it gets!

The second comes when Merida's arrow perfectly splits another arrow in half as it goes into the target:

"This is probably as blunt of an emasculation metaphor as it gets!"

"Aaaaaand they finally did it: Disney remade Brother Bear and made it into Mother Bear."

When Elinor-as-a-bear tries to catch fish with her mouth like a real bear, Jeremy thinks this scene has committed three sins at the same time:

"She thinks bears fish just by opening their mouths... this fish jumps DIRECTLY into her not-moving open mouth... AND she spits it out like it's gross! Lady, you are a BEAR now — get with the program!"

A Bug's Life

"I hate it when someone gives away the ending."

Jeremy: He gets eaten by birds. The ants use Flik's inventions and live happily ever after.

Jeremy notes that the technique the bird uses to feed Hopper to her chicks is nothing like in real life.

Jeremy: This technique here promises to shove this big grasshopper down the middle chick's beak, leaving the other two hungry and this one in need of surgery.

Mr. Tex: There's more to racing than winning. Jeremy: Name one thing. *ding*

After Hudson's past as a race-car is revealed.

Jeremy: I have never known a time in sports history when an athlete was still in his prime and got completely ignored just because that person suffered a season-ending injury. You'd probably STILL have an owner who would pay for Babe Ruth to be on their team if they could afford the exhuming costs.

Jeremy: This is some maniacal s*it right here, tying a man to a—wait a second, how the F*CK did CARS get up here to even tie him into place? This movie gives me a rage boner, and I'm gonna f*ck it HARD!!!

When Mater accuses Miles Axelrod for being the true mastermind behind the main conflict of the film:

When Marlin and Dory are hopping down the pier from Nigel, Jeremy notes that "It's the Prometheus School of Running Away from Things FOR THE SECOND TIME IN THIS MOVIE!" (The first was when they were swimming away from the sunken ship which was toppling over them.)

Finding Dory

"Jesus, another fish has gone missing?! This makes me feel like the NSA dude at the end of The Hunt for Red October: 'You've lost ANOTHER submarine?!'"

Jeremy becomes tired of the film's coincidences in the film's second act, forcing Chris to step in and do the "<sigh>" gag for him. Also, instead of sighing, Chris actually says"Sigh."

Fluke: (telling Marlin how to befriend Becky) All you have to do is imprint with her, mate. Jeremy: Aww man, they dragged Twilight: Breaking Dawn 2 into this didn't they? (ding)

As Dory, Nemo and Marlin all jump from one open-topped fish tank to another toward the one full of blue tangs...

"Who do you think made sure all these open-topped fish tanks were in the right order for this progression of jumps: the screenwriters or God?"

This...

Dory: What is so great about plans? I never had a plan! Jeremy: Thing that Andrew Stanton told the writers when this movie began production somehow finds its way into the script.

It leads to Jeremy ridiculing the messages in this movie as terrible for kids. First...

Dory: The best things happen by chance, because that's life! Jeremy: Is this movie's message seriously that we shouldn't plan for stuff and just take life as it comes?! While I recognize the problems with over-planning, this is a terrible, terrible message to send to kids.

Second...

Jenny: You can do whatever you put your mind to. Jeremy:Another terrible message to send to kids! Because this s*it is patently untrue! What if my kid sees this movie, then "puts his mind to" jumping off a bridge to fly? Huh?! HUH?!?!

Jeremy calls out the amount of Artistic License used in the film's climax, where the Marine Life Institute truck careens down the road without hitting other cars and jumps multiple concrete highway barriers and still keeps going, all while the fish tanks never fall and break and the fish never get killed, only bounced from one tank to another. It leads to this:

"It's like this movie was made just to test my patience. And the movie has won."

At the very end, Jeremy decides to remove a sin from this movie for its fun visuals during the end credits, which he describes as something more movies should do.

After the review, there is a Bonus Round called "20 Reasons Finding Nemo and Finding Dory are the same movie", in which Couch Tomato compares identical scenes from both movies and ultimately adds on 20 more sins to the overall total.

Jeremy: An eccentric billionaire who is interested in superheroes because his parents were shot and killed in a random act of violence? Sound Batmiliar- I mean familibat, I mean bats fa-Batman-bats bats!

Jeremy is disturbed at Dash's "visual bloodlust" during the scene where Mr. Incredible controls his car remotely.

Some of the most biting sarcasm ever:

Jeremy: So, you're telling me that the female aloof character who always seemed a little too non-chalant and who's name can literally be pronounced as "Evil Endeavour" was the bad guy?! I am shocked! Shocked, I say!

When Elastigirl is in a cold room, preventing her from using her powers:

"Russell's persistence leads me to believe he thinks Carl is the only old person in this town."

Jeremy is appalled by the way that Carl can use balloons to lift his house into the air. After questioning how he was able to conceal the balloons so well and have so many that it can lift it into the air so that it can rip the house off the foundation and its connected utilities (he didn't bother to disconnect the water and electricity beforehand), he then concludes:

"Way to use an increasingly-scarce resource to fly your house irresponsibly, you jackass."

Jeremy thinks that "numerous military and police would have been called when they heard reports of a flying house using balloons, but fortunately for Carl, this took place during Taco Tuesday and no one called or cared."

Jeremy: Wow, this is exactly what was said to me after my first sexual encounter.

One of the outtakes is Caesar dropping Koba in slow motion while dramatic music plays...only for Koba to abruptly hit a wire and yell as he continues to fall; then the slow motion and dramatic music continues like nothing happens...only THEN to abruptly crash into ANOTHER object, and then continues to fall with the slow motion and dramatic music. It's much funnier than it sounds here.

Predator franchise

Predator

At Dutch and Dillon's famous handshake:

Jeremy: Bicep-tion.

When Billy puts camoflague on his face:

Jeremy: OK, if this is to help out with the sun, you've gone too far. If this is like Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder you've gone WAY too far.

When we see the Predator's collection of skulls, Jeremy notes an oddly shaped one:

Jeremy: The evilest thing the Predator has ever done is kill this little platypus.

Jeremy's reaction to Dutch's Tarzan yell:

Dutch: UUUUUUOOOOOARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Jeremy: Arrgh.

One of the outtakes dubs in Darth Vader over Dutch's and Predator's fight at the end.

The Predator

At the beginning of the movie, with the hostage scenario:

Jeremy: I would have loved to hear the phone call setting up this hostage meet-up. "Hey, you know the muddy road with the one singular streetlight on it?" "Of course, who the f*ck doesn't?" "Good, we'll meet up at 10. Don't wear nice shoes."

Jeremy: My guess here is that this is a Shane Black special, where the school accidentally spelt students as STDS. And while I'm laughing my ass off at this, ST Ds in a middle school is no laughing matter!

Jeremy: Well, you know...because if we called it something else, it would be harder to get people into movie theatres. We CALLED it The Predator and it was STILL hard to get people to show up to theatres!

Jeremy: Can't think of a clever or compelling way to give the audience the information they need for the movie? Now, with "Newspoition", you don't have to! Just throw up some vague, split-screen news clips and some reporterish narration and you're good to go! Newspoition! When easy means more than excellent!

When it happens a second time, Jeremy responds with:

Jeremy: This just in; an extra 45 sins added!

This bit:

Title Card: Staten Island; New York

Jeremy: In case you confused it with Gilligan's Island.

This:

Citizen: Let's just get through this purge bullsh*t so things can go back to normal!

When Benjamin is told he has nothing to be ashamed of, Jeremy cuts back to him mercilessly hacking a soldier to death with an axe and just laughs.

Stargate

The film's director, Roland Emmerich, joins the distinguished group of people involved in filmmaking whose name's mere appearance in the credits warrants a sin.

Pulling out a 5th Avenue candy bar illicits an annoyed sigh and a sin from Jeremy.

Saw series

Saw

"Human organs have always been against eBay's terms of service agreement."

"Um, no. Yeah, he's a murderer. By law. In like every state and every civilized country... and probably even Idaho."

Saw II

"Donnie Wahlberg's like, Why cant I get a call from Scorsese? I was in The Sixth Sense! Mark though the Vietnam War was still going on in 1988! Give me a friggin break, here! But Donnie's at a crossroads in his career here, at a point directly between The Sixth Sense and dating Jenny McCarthy. And believe it or not, those are the only three data points we need to create an accurate line graph of his career trajectory."

Jeremy: I tried coming up with a clever way to make fun at how this is impossible, but all I saw was white hot rage. So, let's just add another sin while I try to keep my blood pressure under 3 digits.

When Gene defies all logic on how a smartphone is supposed to function by somehow stopping a memory wipe, Jeremy finally loses it and lets loose all the frustration that's been building up throughout the movie in a Cluster F-Bomb, which culminates in him giving the movie 100 more sins.

At the end, when the emojis cheer on Gene:

Jeremy: And after this moment, the emoji formerly known as Gene went on to rule Textopolis in one of the longest and most brutal regimes in smartphone history.

The final sin has Jeremy claiming that the franchise- hopefully- is over before accidentally blurting out how he'd like to see a spinoff based on the jazz-playing fish, virtually the only part of the movie he didn't hate. He then frantically tries to take back the comment.

It's like Adam Sandler watched Steve Carrell in the first Despicable Me and said, "Hey, I can EASILY do a borderline-offensive Eastern European accent for a similarly unlikable and ghoulish character for three stupid movies too! GAME ON, STEVE!"

Followed by much grumbling commentary re: the legendarily overlong shots designed solely to show off the special effects. Doesn't help that said effects, while top-of-the-line for the late 70's, are pretty embarrassingly crude today.

Jeremy noticing the weirdness that was Bones repeatedly entering and exiting the bridge without any lines.

Jeremy also not failing to note the weirdness that is the Ilia-bot's newly skimpy attire.

Jeremy: Look, just as a practical matter, she left the ship in a Starfleet uniform, and she returned into a sonic shower in a... white mini-dress straight out of my pre-teen fantasies? One thing's for sure: this alien is a teenage boy.

As Spock proposes 'a thorough examination of this probe':

Jeremy: Admit it, you just wanna see the sexy android naked.

The Ilia-bot says she's completed her survey mission:

Jeremy: I'm really glad this unfeeling alien entity, whatever it is, decided to keep Ilia's high heels on during the information-gathering process, for utmost sexiness.

One of the outtakes adds the sound of a Kool-Aid Man commercial, including the "Oh yeah!", to the scene where the V'Ger-controlled Ilia breaks through a wall.

In another stinger, as per the running gag of Jeremy including audio of Galaxy Quest with the film clips, on the teleporter malfunction killing the cheap Vulcan replacement for Spock:

Anakin: Senator, you have my undying gratitude. Senator, I'm going to give you a tremendous porking when I get home.Padme: No, Master Skywalker, it is I and the Republic who owes you thanks. Sweet, I've been doing my Kegels.

Jeremy's snark when Ahsoka complains about the rear deflector shields still being down.

Jeremy: Despite a massive amount of fire, these assholes couldn't hit the ship if Anakin stopped in midair and built another ship on top of it. *ding*

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

The video title reads it as running for "it's almost over minutes".

"Get."

Jeremy gets increasingly frustrated by the amount of limbs getting cut off to the point of wondering if George Lucas had a fetish for such things.

"What sort of nonsense is this?"

Jeremy: George Lucas films his actors speaking in private.

Jeremy sins love.

"CGI is fun!! Wheeeeeee!"

This:

C-3PO: I feel so... helpless. Jeremy: You mispronounced "pointless".

"This movie does more to tear DOWN the lore of how powerful Jedi are than it does... ANYTHING else."

This:

Padme: So this is how liberty dies: with thunderous applause. Jeremy:(chokes on something, then says...) Sorry... something really stupid stuck in my throat there... carry on.

"Why do we hate this line so much? Is it because the badass character Padme we see in Phantom Menace going around leading an assault on the viceroy has become a lump of melodramatic mush?"

This:

Anakin: If you're not with me, then you're my enemy! Jeremy: Discount What Jesus Said.

Jeremy criticizes the climactic battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin as "the let-downiest of all let-downs." One standout moment for him is the moment where a tower they are on falls in the lava:

"How fortunate is it that this tower stays upright while floating down a river of lava it's being consumed— oh, f*ck it. My lack of interest should be BEYOND obvious right now. Just... tell me when it's over."

"This is supposed to be epic, but it feels like a guy who just learned After Effects creating his own fan fiction and sharing it on YouTube, which was founded the very year this came out. COINCIDENCE!?"

The fight goes on for so long that Jeremy falls asleep briefly.

In reaction to Yoda confronting the Emperor:

Emperor: At last the Jedi are no more. Yoda: Not if anything to say about it I have! Jeremy: Good job, movie, you made me want Frank Oz to shut up... somehow.

"Yep, movie about superhero Jedi freaks that can leap small buildings will now somehow be decided by a couple of feet above sea level, because... Sun Tzu!"

Second...

"So did Darth Maul, and you saw how that turned out."

As Padme delivers her twins before expiring, she immediately names them Luke and Leia, which Jeremy thinks is simply unnatural: "It's like Lucas said, 'No one will know who these kids are! Better have Padme name them as soon as they pop out!'"

In response to Anakin's, now Darth Vader's, infamously melodramatic Big "NO!" after he learns that he killed Padme...

In Part 1 of the video, Jeremy accuses Grievous of sounding like Serris, the main villain of Galaxy Quest. He then continues this gag in the last stinger in the Part 2 video, where he takes Grievous's line about being trained in the lightsaber combat by Count Dooku and replaces it with this line:

A true Black Comedy example: The last stinger is of Bail Organa telling Mon Mothma that he can trust his emmisary (Leia) with his life. Cut to Alderaan being blown to space dust by the Death Star.

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Jeremy immediately sins the movie for not having the iconic Star Wars opening crawl.

At the opening title, we get:

Jeremy: The fact that they have to add "A Star Wars Story" to the end of this movie title is infuriating. Like we need to know Han Solo is part of the Star Wars universe. Or maybe they didn't want it to be mistaken for a reboot of that sh*tty Mario Van Peebles cyborg movie? Hahahahahaha. Mario Van Peebles.

Obi-Wan: The blast points, too accurate for sandpeople.[...]Only imperial stormtroopers are this precise. (Jeremy laughs hysterically at this notion, takes a deep breath, and then laughs hysterically again.)

Chewbacca: (unintelligible Shyriiwook) Jeremy: Translation: This is some f*cked-up s*it right here. *ding*

"A-HA! Proof that Cloud City is funded by Gringotts!" (adds an arrow to point out the goblin-like Ugnaughts walking around)

You'd think that Jeremy would take a sin off for the now famous twist of Darth Vader being Luke's father being a great shocker at the time, but he simply and bluntly laments that the explanation would be complete bullsh*t.

Jeremy says the Turtles haphazardly throwing around a pizza box in the opening scene would only result in what he calls "lasagna-pizza, which is when after jostling, the contents of a pizza box resemble lasagna as much as it does pizza."

Terminator franchise

The Terminator (1984)

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Jeremy calls out the T-1000 trying to force Sarah Connor to "Call to John" when he could easily kill her, then imitate her voice.

T-1000: Call to John now. Jeremy: Is this guy programed to be a torture bot? One of the tricks he showed he can do earlier in the film is perfectly imitate someone's voice. He does not need Sarah to call to John. He could kill Sarah and do it himself. He even does her voice here in a minute!! Buuuut we're buying time for Arnold to save the day, so... *ding*

Jeremy keeps pointing out the Pepsi product placements.

"Because of a machine, a Terminator can learn the value of human life. Maybe we can, too."

Jeremy: Nope! *ding*

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

When the T-X is sawing through the roof of the car that Kate, John and the Terminator are in:

During the brief mugshot montage with the main characters, Jeremy laments that Jai Courtney and Emilia Clarke got two additional inches from their real-life heights and that Arnold got four additional inches.

"Apparently, a bunch of creatures from the Resident Evil set got bored and decided to visit the Tomb Raider set."

This moment:

Lara: They seem to react to movement.

Jeremy: Hmmm, where have I heard THAT before? (while the Jurassic Park theme plays in the background)

Transformers franchise

Transformers

Kid in café: Wow! This is the coolest thing I've ever seen! Explosions everywhere! This is easily a hundred times cooler than Armageddon... I swear to God! Jeremy: Whoa, whoa,... the director of Transformers just b*tch-slapped the guy who directed Armageddon. *ding*

Revenge of the Fallen

Dark of the Moon

The narrator's thoughts on the more critically lauded supporting actors plants a mind-warping what-if idea for a movie in our heads:

"Bella searches for 'Cold One' and doesn't get a million Budweiser ads."

As Bella and Edward head off to the woods for the infamous reveal scene: "You know everyone thinks you're going off to pork, right?"

In reference to one of Edward's, er, intense stares at Bella.

Jeremy: I tried looking at a girl like this once, but all I got was a restraining order. *ding*

The bonus round at the end of the video makes count of the various noises Bella makes over the film, ranging from breaths, gasps, mutterings, and awkward laughs.

New Moon

"Hey, they got a new actor to play Jacob who isn't shirtless all the time!", followed up about a third of the video later, the second Jacob takes off his shirt: "Hey, Taylor Lautner's back! Where was he the whole movie?"

The post-sentence sequence that just replays the scene of Bella and Jacob talking about "the Rabbit"(a car he's refurbishing)with a caption pointing out that apparently no one working on this movie was aware a rabbit is also a type of vibrator.

"Anna Kendrick is all of the following things here in this scene: hot, correct, inappropriate, judgemental, selfish, and hot."

"It's weird to be back on two legs again... and in clothes."

Jeremy: This is exactly what my college girlfriend said to me after a particularly—

"I guess the metaphor here is that Bella is Jesus, sacrificing her virginity for the sake of... wait..."

Jeremy saying what all of us have probably thought at some point:

Jeremy: These movies get more and more annoying as they go along, but damn if I don't still really covet that house. Jesus, it's fucking rad!

As wildly squicky as the implications of the imprinting subplot are, Jeremy's responses are absolute gold.

Jeremy: Also, Jacob imprints on a fucking baby. He just fell in love with a baby. I just want everyone to know that Jacob fell in love with a baby. I don't care if it means they'll "just be friends", or "he'll be her protector", or whatever the fuck they want to do to justify this shit, he just fell in love with a baby.

The stingers where the guests are booing Bella as she gets married and leaves for her honeymoon.

Breaking Dawn Part 2

Jeremy delivering the first sin in such an "I'm so done with these movies" tone.

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