An Italian businessman who owns the rights to the DeTomaso brand today unveiled the vehicle he plans to revive it with. Dubbed the SLC, it's everything those of us who had Pantera posters on our bedrooms dreamed of — a dead-eyed, bloated business sedan.

Supposedly designed by Pininfarina, but resembling a Mitsubishi clone suffering from elephantiasis, the DeTomaso sports a 500-hp V8 under its hood; it will also offer a V6 when it goes on sale next year. Owner Gian Mario Rossignolo has said he plans to create a three-model lineup of coupe, sedan and SUV, with a target of 8,000 vehicles a year, God save us all.

The true test of a vehicle design is if you can cover up the trademark and still identify it. Which is why we can tell who's really a fan of the previous generation Dodge Avenger.