The Day of the Procedures
After enjoying my three enemas, I have my girlfriend drive me to the surgery center – and in I went. They had me change into one of those surgical gowns … open in the back. My clothes went into a plastic bag. The nurse asked me how I’m doing, and I told something to the effect of “Real fine – just don’t remove one of my legs” … which she thought was pretty funny. [Sometimes you hear about doctor’s performing the wrong surgery on people – like the guy in the news recently (April 2007) who had his right testical removed, when it was his left testical that had cancer.] The nurse was about to start an IV on me when I told her that she had a kind face. [I figured I would butter her up just a little so she would be gentle.] The nurse then pushed the bed I was in into the room where the procedures were about to take place.

I was told they would do the EGD (“esophagogastroduodenoscopy” or “upper GI endoscopy”) first, and that I was about to be sedated. The nurse put some kind of drug into the IV that was hooked up to me, and within a few minutes I was high as a kite. I was awake, but wow was I ever out of it. I only vaguely recall the instrument being inserted down my throat. I don’t believe the procedure took very long – but I was in no position to monitor the time. I would guess maybe five minutes, and that part was over with? Next I vaguely recall being asked to change positions from being seated upright over to laying down with my legs somewhat crossed. [I’m not really sure about this part because I was really out of it.] I recall an unusual (but not painful) sensation of having something inserted into my ass … and then I could see the monitor that was hooked up to the camera that was working its way up my colon. I could see what the inside of my colon looked like. Again, it seemed like the entire procedure took maybe five minutes at most, but it could have been longer. I had no real sense of time because of whatever they sedated me with.

Next thing I know I’m out of the room where the procedures are performed, and back in the location where I started off. They brought my girlfriend in, and after maybe an hour or so, they had me change back into my clothes. The nurse gave me several sheets of paper where the doctor had made his comments about the results of what he saw. I had a clean bill of health – no signs of esphageal cancer, and nothing unsual in my colon. THANK GOD. My girlfriend drove me home, and I went to sleep for roughly six or seven hours.