I disagreed with a friend about using a photo they took of me and wanted to use for publication. And although I understood their reasons for using the photo, our lengthy debate in emails started to convince me I might be doing something wrong. So I asked God; “What should I do about the photo?”

My answer was in Romans Chapter 14 which told me about Paul not eating certain foods because if he did it would trip up his friends. It wasn’t wrong or sin for him to eat the food he wanted but the right thing was to refrain so there would be harmony. Verse 15 is great and by putting the word photo instead of food I had my answer; “But if your brother is being pained or his feelings hurt or if he is being injured by you not using the photo then you are no longer walking in love.” One thing I am convinced of? God wants us always to walk in love…everyday. For more encouragement in Everyday Matters visit DebbieGriffith.com

Steve is an Iraq and Afghanistan veteran. Upon arriving home three years ago from his final tour to Afghanistan he found out that his wife had been cheating on him and had spent or stole almost all of their money. Steve had nowhere to stay, no phone and was suffering from severe anxiety problems. One of his close friends from high school, Shawn, and his wife, took Steve in and let him live with their family of five. They’ve helped him deal with his divorce and get his life together. Since then, Steve’s moved into his own place, opened a diner, and his friend’s kids call him Uncle Steve when they see him.

This is the love of Jesus’ unconditional love. We’re His kids and no matter what mess we’re in, He’s there, ready to make redemptive use of our mess. Even on our worst days God stands with His door wide open and says; “Come in,” everyday.

Money can be a big fighting issue between a husband and wife. It’s proved true for my husband Dan and me. But after almost 27 years of marriage we’re strong which basically means I’m allowing God to take my strong will so I’m the sort of wife who helps my husband and not hinder him especially in the way I spend money. Giving me an allowance helped me stay within necessary boundaries. If I wanna blow my whole month’s allowance on shoes I can…I did. “But Debbie, you’re supposed to say; ‘Get thee behind me Satan when you’re tempted.’” “Dan, I did. But he said, ‘Ya know it looks even better from back here than it did in the mirror.’”

Proverbs 31 tells us about being a godly woman and one virtue is a wife who can be trusted. Girls, honor God by honoring your husbands’ because it’s a journey we take together…everyday.

Wednesday MattersEveryday Love VS TrustCan we love someone and at the same time not trust them? That does not mean we have to give someone access to our bank account just to prove we “love” them when they have and continue to steal from us. We show compassion for an alcoholic by offering our help. We also show compassion by not “enabling” the alcoholic by protecting them from consequences for their bad actions. Many times consequences are the “severe mercy” that is needed to get their attention. The caution is to make sure we have not elected ourselves their jury and judge.

It's the Holy Spirit who guides and directs us in how we should move forward in love which might be setting a boundary or not continuing in conversation with someone when they repeatedly spew out garbage to us. Trust in God who loves you and the other person. He’ll take care of us, He’ll take care of them…EVERYTHING, no matter what…everyday.

Tuesday Matters​Everyday I don’t want toIf you’re a mom you’ve heard; “I don’t want to. It’s not fair.” And if you’re like me your sure fire response has been, “Life’s not fair.” BUT “back in the day,” when my four sons were young, I’d respond; “I understand you don’t think it’s fair and I’m sorry you don’t want to. But right now I’m not interested in what you want. I’m interested in your obedience.” At first my boys didn’t really hear me and continued with the, “It’s not fair,” and “I don’t want to” but firmly I repeated my statement, “I’m not open to discussion, I’m the mom and I’m in charge here.” I wanted to help my four sons develop character to receive and understand the blessings that obedience brings.

“Yep”… my oldest responded, “Thanks Mom,” when I read Proverbs 30:17 “The eye that scorns obedience to his mother will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley.” Thankfully, (through it all) my children still have their eyesight. It’s through obedience we receive our blessings …everyday.

Monday MattersEveryday Thank YouHow many crabby days should you have in a row before you think you need to make a change? How about on Day One? Oh I get you, I know it is hard when life is hard but try this: For every one thing going wrong in your life, there are ten things going right. Don’t think about your problems. Don’t talk about your problems. Don’t exaggerate your problems and then look at Philippians 2:14 “Do all things without complaining.”

Try thinking and talking obsessively about your blessings. Take a few minutes to rapid fire each blessing that comes to mind or make a written list of your top 10 blessings and then hold that list in your hand and rapid fire say what you’re thankful for out loud. This earth experience is hard. It’s not our home but there is always something to be thankful for. Stay focused on what is true. You are enough and many are thankful for who you are…everyday.

“Oh absolutely, you can post photos of me on Facebook but I can always ask you to delete them.” My friend posted photos from a gathering and after viewing I wrote; “Ah…Can you please delete.” I appreciated that she took them down and didn’t judge me because of it. I KNOW I’m my worst critic and I KNOW that beauty comes from the inside but I also know that it’s okay to care about what we’re communicating with how we look on the outside. Like everything and anything it’s about balance.

Our value and worth is not in our outward appearance. Our worth and value is who God says we are and the person that He uniquely created. We are not a mistake and He doesn’t make junk. It’s hard because all of us tend to first judge others by looking at their outsides but what holds our attention is the beauty that’s on the inside. So remember Proverbs 31:30; Charm is deceptive, and beauty doesn’t last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised…everyday.

When I read all the verses in Exodus describing the different colors, stones, metals, woods, etc. that were to be used to build the tabernacle I thought, "Why take so much space in the Bible for that? Why not devote more time to guidelines in dating or parenting, something a little more helpful?" But by these chapters God showed me how much He cares about detail and beauty especially when it’s something that will honor His name.

And I realized He cares even more about the detail and beauty of the people He created to honor His name! God’s perfectly happy with us enjoying beauty by the way we dress and decorate our homes and gardens. Of course, there needs to be balance but how freeing to know God made us unique so He certainly doesn't want to take that away from us. In accepting Christ as Savior we have the hope from Revelation 21 where every tear will be removed and we’ll belong in a place more beautiful than we can imagine…everyday.

Loving someone who has an addiction problem can be very challenging. I remember hearing the story of a woman who was married to an alcoholic and every night her husband would come home drunk, collapse on the floor and fall asleep. And every night this woman would somehow get him up and put him to bed. She became worn out and frazzled from rescuing her husband. A friend suggested she attend Al Anon and there she learned about “Detachment.” The next night when her husband came home drunk and fell asleep on the floor she simply put a blanket over him and left him there. She loved him by covering him but by not picking him up she was detaching. She did not rescue him. She created a loving boundary and let go.

Sometimes love calls us to let go completely. It can be a scary and uncertain time but God will guide you always (Isaiah 55:11). And He’ll often send others to help who’ve been through a similar trial. Reach out. You are not alone...everyday.

What does being righteous mean? Well, it means we are in right standing with God and that means we know who we are in Him….loved, redeemed, not a mistake. Greater self-effort and determination will never liberate you. Shifting your focus will. This means letting God lead you and not your flesh.

Again in the Bible, Ephesians 5, tells us not to be drunk with wine but instead to be drunk with the Holy Spirit. When a person is drunk on alcohol, they feel, think and act differently. I’ve been there, done that. But the exact same is true when we are filled with the Holy Spirit, we feel think and act differently. The Christian life is not the result of trying to act like a Christian; that’s only frustrating. The secret is developing our relationship with God empowered by the Holy Spirit. As God's Spirit fills us, we better understand who God really is. Our lives are changed from the inside out and good behavior is the end product…everyday.