29/01

Airing my Grievances

By Geisha Bar

I’M HIGHLY ANNOYED AT SO MUCH STUFF TODAY!

1. Neighbours Banging.
Unfortunately if you want to live in an inner city setting these days, often your home is literally attached to your neighbour’s via apartment-style setup. I’m currently writing this listening to the merry fucking smashing of my neighbour banging in a highly arrhythmic manner. I don’t even think it’s the banging that is annoying me – I think it’s the way in which there is no semblance of rhythm, and it’s disturbing as fuck. For this reason I also hate overhearing loud parties where it’s shrill shrieks and yelling. I would LOVE it if neighbours would just play loud music. You can at least tune that out because it is predictable and rhythmic.
I also hate hearing children and babies for the aforementioned reasons. Don’t bring screaming, squealing, shrieking children to quiet places, please.

2. Wind.
When it’s windy outside to the point of everything blowing, your clothes aren’t staying put and your hair is everywhere – in your mouth, in your ears, across your eyes. Wind is just annoying. Hot or cold. Let that be the extremes of the weather. Fuck off, wind.

3. Sexist Nightclubs.
Seriously, it’s 2019. How dare you try and force your female bar staff into wearing uniforms for the sole purpose of allowing your disgusting male patrons to objectify them, further promoting the culture of violence and predatory behaviour against women. You are an embarrassment.

4. Intelligent, Persistent Cats.
This is just a testament to how all the other things have annoyed me so much, I’m even annoyed that my adorable cat keeps circling around his (full) food bowls, meowing and staring at me. He knows there is Fancy Feast in the cupboard. But he also knows that he only gets Fancy Feast thrice a week. He’s testing me; he known he will be able to wear me down. Sighing, I reach for the Fancy Feast. The beast needs his Feast.

5. Yearly Diaries With Less Than A Page Per Day, Or Ones That Split A Page Between Saturday And Sunday.
My diary is my LIFE, son. It’s my schedule, my to-do list, my secret lover. Ain’t no way I can be squeezing my daily affairs on circa. 5 lines. If you only need a third of a page for your shit every day, you don’t need a diary. All diaries should give 1 page per day. It should be the law.