Wednesday, October 15, 2014

It may seem harmless to see your child engaged in the latest social
media application. She may be snapping pictures to her friends on
Snapchat or posting funny status updates on Facebook
to stay in touch with her classmates and friends. However, when social
media posts and tweets take a turn for the worse, your child may
experience the devastating effects of cyberbullying, ultimately damaging her self confidence, self esteem and mental well being.

Defining Cyberbullying
According to Dr. Kate Roberts,
Boston-based psychologist and cyberbullying expert, cyberbullying is
the use of technology to harass, hurt, embarrass, humiliate or
intimidate another person. “Targets are the same students who are
bullied in person,” says Roberts. “They are vulnerable, have difficulty
reading social cues and they are often alone and socially isolated.”

Unfortunately, cyberbullying is able to occur 24/7 with the help of
cell phones, instant messaging, mobile devices and social networking
websites. “According to recent studies, almost half of middle and high
school students have experienced or witnessed cyberbullying,” says
Roberts.

Kids respond differently to abuse from others, says Jennifer Hancock, author of “The Bully Vaccine.”
“Parents need to understand that cyberbullying isn’t happening in
isolation,” says Hancock. “It is a part of a larger pattern of
harassment, that in the adult world would be considered stalking – and
it is as emotionally damaging as stalking – so take it seriously.”

Knowledge is Power

Today’s parents consist of the first generation that has had to
contend with this level of cyber harassment, says Roberts. Parents,
however, can arm themselves and their children with knowledge when
protecting their children against cyber bullies.

Have the ‘Cyberbullying’ Conversation: Children
don’t like to talk about bullying, but according to Roberts, “the reason
for this is they have likely bullied themselves, been bullied or been a
bullying bystander and the talk brings up these memories and feelings
of shame.” Parents need to have an open conversation and respond without
judgment as their children open up about what they know.

Explain How What You Don’t Know Does Hurt You: Some
kids minimize or justify cyberbullying by saying that the target didn’t
even know what was said. Roberts suggests explaining to your kids that
it still hurts. “Use their life experiences to illustrate how badly they
feel when people talk about them negatively,” she says.

Set Cyber Safety Rules: Whenever your children
interact online, remind them that they never really know who is on the
other end of cyber communication. With that in mind, Roberts recommends
enforcing the guideline of “don’t do or say anything online that you
wouldn’t do or say in person.”

Monitor Online Use: Know what your children are
doing online to help them prevent cyberbullying and cope with it. Limit
time spent on technology to naturally minimize access to and involvement
with cyberbullying, suggests Roberts.

Helping Your Child Cope with Cyberbullying
Your child’s school may be the best advocate for prevention of cyber
bullying and, more importantly, enforcement of cyber bullying school
policies, especially if your child is a victim. If you fear that your
child is a target of cyberbullying, Roberts suggests getting to know the
school administrator in charge of overseeing bullying.

“If you discover that your child is being cyber bullied, save the
URLs of the location where the bullying occurred and document it by
printing the e-mails or web pages,” says Roberts.

Many school districts enforce a “no tolerance” bully policy that now
includes cyber bullying. In addition, school officers and law
enforcement officials often monitor the social media accounts of middle
and high school students to prevent cyber bullying.

The best thing you can do, as a parent, is engage your child over
time to develop a strategy with them and make reporting a central part
of that strategy, says Jennifer Hancock, author of “The Bully Vaccine.”

“Whatever strategy you develop has to be comprehensive and your child
has to take the lead on it with your support and assistance to report
any incidents,” says Hancock. “They probably won’t be willing to
disconnect entirely, but perhaps you can convince them to ban certain
individuals from their Facebook stream so that they don’t see the
content anymore.”

Unfortunately, many kids do not tell their parents about
cyberbullying because they fear the parent’s first response is to get
rid of the child’s access to the Internet. Be more creative, says
Hancock. “Help them keep their access to the Internet but eliminate the
people harassing them,” she says. “That works to instill trust and helps
your child come to you for help in the future.”

Seek help from outside resources, too, such as your child’s peers,
friends and neighbors, and ask them to inform you of any cyber bullying
that may be occurring and affecting your child. In many cases, children
who have been bullied – either online or offline – may benefit from
sessions with a family therapist to discuss coping methods.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

This is a question that has been lingering for the past couple of
years. We know that kids under 13 are joining, but should they be?

The brave new world of technology has expanded so far that even your
grandmother may have an account on the social networking clearinghouse
that is Facebook. The fact that your elderly relatives have adopted
Facebook, however, doesn’t mean that your child is ready to tackle the
social media giant.

When your tween is pleading with you for permission
to start a Facebook account and swearing that all of their friends have
them, these are 10 of the reasons why you might want to stick to your
guns and continue to ban the site for a few more years.

Bullying – Being bullied is a devastating
situation, even for teenagers and young adults, but tweens are even more
likely to be overwhelmed by bullies online. Kids who aren’t victims of
bullying may also find themselves joining in with the crowd picking on
another youngster in the no-holds-barred world of the Internet.

Exposure to Questionable Content – Even if your
preteen is never approached by a sexual predator, she’s still likely to
come across photos or status updates that simply aren’t age appropriate.
A child who doesn’t have a Facebook account may be protected from that
objectionable content for a bit longer, though.

Online Predators – Sexual predators lurking online
are such a problem that entire television series have been dedicated to
sting operations designed to catch them. Preteens simply aren’t equipped
to properly fend off approaches from predators, and may be more
susceptible to their techniques than older kids.

They’re Not Technically Allowed to Have Accounts –
If you don’t prohibit Facebook use for your preteen for any other
reason, you should consider the fact that allowing them to start an
account is tantamount to telling them that it’s okay to lie. Facebook
doesn’t allow users younger than 13, so your child will have to falsify
her age in order to sign up. Doing so with your permission is
effectively sending a message that lying is acceptable behavior if
you’re lying to get something you really want.

Reducing Screen Time – Between television, video
games and time spent online for homework purposes, kids spend enough of
their day planted in front of an electronic screen. Facebook is just
another way for your child to while away the hours in sedentary
activity, rather than getting outside and being active.

Preserving Academic Performance – When your child
is supposed to be online researching homework methods or studying for a
big test, his shiny new Facebook account can be a very serious
distraction. Kids so young may have difficulty controlling their
impulses, and may spend far more time on the social media site than they
do actually working.

Protecting Your Computer from Malware – You and
your teenagers may have a basic idea of how to avoid malware and spyware
sent out by unscrupulous Facebook users, but your tween probably
doesn’t. Keeping your child off of social media for a few more years can
also be your computer’s saving grace.

Because Kids Lack Adult Judgment – The fact that
college students post photographs of binge drinking parties and
incriminating status updates at an alarming rate is proof that young
people don’t always have the best judgment when it comes to social
networking. For a young child, not understanding acceptable Facebook use
could lead to them sharing very sensitive personal information that
later proves to be dangerous.

Friends Lists Can Be Difficult to Manage – When the
friend requests start rolling in, your tween will probably accept each
and every one of them because it makes her feel well-liked and cool.
That can give some shady characters access to her profile, something she
may have trouble understanding when she’s still so young.

Tech-Savvy Tweens Can Block Your Monitoring Efforts
– Some preteens may have trouble avoiding malware and managing a
friends list, but others will be tech-savvy enough to filter their
updates and change security settings that affect what you’re able to
see. Even if you think you’re monitoring your child, you may only be
seeing a fraction of the things she does online.

If you still think that your preteen is mature and trustworthy enough
to have a Facebook account without getting into trouble, the decision
is up to you. Be warned, however, that your child could find all of her hard
work tossed to the wayside if Facebook administrators discover that
she’s maintaining an account before she’s reached the age limit set in
the terms of use and decide to delete the account.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Back to school - let your kids know their keystrokes will effect their future.

I have discussed this topic for a long time along with my colleagues we constantly discuss the importance of digital citizenship. It will be your virtual image
that will dictate your future. Your keystrokes are that important! No
one gets a second chance to make a first impression – especially when
their name is being put through an Internet wash-cycle.

More employers are turning to social networking sites to find
additional information on potential candidates – and they’re not
entirely impressed with what they’re seeing. A new survey from CareerBuilder
found that 51% of employers who research job candidates on social media
said they’ve found content that caused them to not hire the candidate,
up from 43% last year and 34% in 2012.
Forty-three percent of employers use social networking sites to
research job candidates, up from 39% last year and 36% in 2012.
Additionally, 12% of employers don’t currently research candidates on
social media, but plan to start, according to the national survey, which
was conducted online by Harris Poll on behalf of CareerBuilder from
February 10 to March 4, 2014, and included a representative sample of
2,138 hiring managers and human resource professionals, and a
representative sample 3,022 full-time, private sector workers across
industries and company sizes.

Beyond Social Networking
Employers aren’t limiting themselves to social networks when it comes
to researching candidates’ web presences. Forty-five percent of
employers use search engines such as Google to research potential job
candidates, with 20 percent saying they do so frequently or always.
Additionally, 12 percent of employers say they’ve reviewed a potential
job candidate’s posts or comments on Glassdoor.com, Yelp.com or other
ratings sites.

Helping or Hurting?
So what are employers finding on social media that’s prompting them to eliminate candidates from consideration? The most common reasons to pass on a candidate included:

However, one third (33%) of employers who research candidates on
social networking sites say they’ve found content that made them more
likely to hire a candidate. What’s more, nearly a quarter (23%) found
content that directly led to them hiring the candidate, up from 19% last
year.
Some of the most common reasons employers hired a candidate based on their social networking presence included:

Got a good feel for the job candidate’s personality, could see a good fit within the company culture – 46%

Job candidate’s background information supported their professional qualifications for the job – 45%

“It’s important for job seekers to remember that much of what they
post to the Internet – and in some cases what others post about them –
can be found by potential employers, and that can affect their chances
of getting hired down the road,” said Rosemary Haefner, Vice President
of Human Resources at CareerBuilder. “Job seekers need to stay vigilant,
and pay attention to privacy updates from all of their social
networking accounts so they know what information is out there for
others to see. Take control of your web presence by limiting who can
post to your profile and monitoring posts you’ve been tagged in.”

Watch What You Post
Employers shared the strangest things they’ve discovered on job
candidates’ or current employees’ social media profiles, including:

Candidate’s profile included links to an escort service

Candidate posted a photo of a warrant for his arrest

Candidate posted an exercise video for grandmothers

Candidate had sued his wife for shooting him in the head

Candidate featured a pig as his closest friend

Candidate posted his dental exam results

Candidate bragged about driving drunk and not getting caught on several occasions

Candidate was actively involved in a demonic cult

Candidate posted Sasquatch pictures he had taken

Privacy
Many workers and job seekers are taking measures to protect their
privacy and avoid over-sharing with potential employers. Nearly half
(47%) of workers only share posts with friends and family, 41% have
their profile set to private, and 18 percent keep separate professional
and personal profiles. Twenty-eight percent of workers say they don’t
use social media.

About CareerBuilder®
CareerBuilder is the global leader in human capital solutions,
helping companies target and attract great talent. Its online career
site, CareerBuilder.com®, is the largest in the United States with more
than 24 million unique visitors and 1 million jobs. CareerBuilder works
with the world’s top employers, providing everything from labor market
intelligence to talent management software and other recruitment
solutions. Owned by Gannett Co., Inc. (NYSE:GCI), Tribune Company and
The McClatchy Company (NYSE:MNI), CareerBuilder and its subsidiaries
operate in the United States, Europe, South America, Canada and Asia.
For more information, visit www.careerbuilder.com.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Car crashes already are the leading cause of
death for U.S. teens, who have the highest crash rate of any age group,
AAA stated. During the summer months — when drivers rack up 20 billion
more miles than at other times of the year — an average of 260 teens are
killed in accidents each month. That's a 26 percent spike compared with
the other months of the year.

Not only are teens themselves more likely
to die in car crashes, they also have the highest rates of crash
involvement resulting in the deaths of others, including passengers,
pedestrians or occupants of other vehicles, AAA stated.

Moreover, risk increases "exponentially" with the addition of each
younger passenger in a car driven by a 16- or 17-year-old. Compared with
a 62 percent risk reduction when one passenger age 35 or older is in a
teen driver's car, the risk of being killed increases 44 percent with
just one passenger younger than 21; it doubles with two passengers under
21; and quadruples with three or more passenger under 21.

To help keep young drivers — as well as their passengers, other
motorists and bystanders — safe this summer, the Insurance Information
Institute advises the following precautions:

Choose a safe car for your teen that's easy to drive and offers
protection in a crash — avoid small cars, large SUVs and those with
high-performance trims.

Enroll teens in a driver-education course and safe-driver program,
which will better prepare them for challenging situations on the road.
These programs inform teens of the responsibilities and consequences of
driving, and possibly earn them an insurance discount.

Discuss the dangers of talking or texting on cellphones while
driving, as well as drug and alcohol use, and develop a plan for getting
home if they encounter an impaired-driving situation.

Be a good role model. Remember: If you drive recklessly, your teen likely will imitate you.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

With summer here some tweens and teens will try new things - smoking might be one of them.

Most know it, yet peer pressure can sometimes outweigh it when it comes to kids.

Kids can get pretty creative when it comes to hiding their bad habits
from parents and most parents assume that their child would never do
anything like take drugs, drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. In all
cases there are certain signs to watch for that let you know if your
child is indulging in any of these risky behaviors, no matter how crafty
they may be at trying to hide them.

Here are some signs to watch for if you think your child may be smoking.

More use of breath mints or chewing gum – Has
your child suddenly felt it necessary to always chew gum or have breath
mints? If so, there is a chance that they might be trying to cover up
the bad breath that smoking causes.

The dirty ashtray smell – Chances are if you
confront your child about smelling like a dirty ash tray, their first
response will be to blame it on the friends they hang around. This may
or may not be true. If their clothes and possessions constantly and
regularly smell like smoke, then there is a pretty good chance they are
smoking.

Yellowing teeth – Smoking causes the teeth to
yellow from all of the chemicals they’re exposed to, so if your child’s
teeth are beginning to turn a shade of yellow then you may have a
problem on your hands.

Shortness of breath – Smoking does affect the lungs
and decreases lung capacity, so if your child is beginning to get
easily winded it may be time to sit down and have a talk with them.

Bad breath – If your child has really bad breath
that reeks of smoke, it’s definitely time for you to have a heart to
heart conversation about smoking and all of its negative side effects.

Poor performance in athletics – If you see your
once active child suddenly begin to decline in athletic performance this
could be a sign that tobacco use is to be blamed.

Yellowed fingers – Nicotine from cigarettes can
cause yellowish staining of the fingers that commonly hold the
cigarettes. If you’ve already had a suspicion you’ll want to watch for
those telltale stains.

Unexplained coughing – Children can cough due to
colds and allergies but if your child is coughing and there is not a
cause of which you are aware, you may want to ask some questions.

Their space becomes off limits for you – As kids
get older they want their privacy and their space becomes sacred to
them. This is natural, but only within reason. If their room becomes
completely off limits to you, look into the reason why. Does the room
smell like smoke? Are they constantly burning incense?

Overuse of perfume or cologne – Attempting to hide
the smell of smoke on their clothes by using extra perfume or cologne is
another possible sign that your child could be using cigarettes.

While none of these signs alone are necessarily cause for
concern two or more together may warrant a closer look. If you find that
you do need to talk to your child, do your best to stay calm and keep
the lines of communication open.

Now is not the time to lecture or sermonize. Find out what the appeal
to smoking is and remind your child about the costs both financially
and to their health. Having an open and honest conversation will show
your child that you are genuinely concerned about their well-being and
hopefully will cause them to rethink developing this unhealthy habit.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Summer is approaching....
Some kids are able to attend summer camps, some aren't.

There are several factors that could make traditional sleep-away
summer camp a less-than-ideal choice for some families, such as the age
and temperament of children and the significant financial burden that such camps can impose.

Very young children are typically excluded from sleep-away camps
automatically, while older kids who do meet age requirements may balk at
the idea of spending an extended period of time away from their
families and friends. The anxiety and stress that often accompanies
homesickness is likely to make parents consider the expense of summer
camp an unwise investment, as many summer camps charge hundreds of
dollars in fees, even before the added expense of buying supplies.

Here are ten great alternatives for parents who want to keep their
children occupied and engaged during summer vacation without sending
them to pricey and distant summer camp.

1. Volunteer Programs – Older children can learn a
sense of civic responsibility and the importance of helping others by
spending part of their summer participating in a local volunteer
program. Animal lovers among the smaller set may be thrilled with the
idea of helping at a local animal shelter, while others may enjoy
working with a local charity or visiting a local retirement community.2. Community Day Camps – Community centers in most
cities offer summer day camp programs, allowing kids to enjoy all of the
fun activities that are a part of a sleep-away camp without the stress
of spending weeks away from the familiarity of home.3. Religious Summer Programs – Many places of worship
offer vacation workshops and other similar programs with a theme of
religious instruction during summertime, which may be an ideal choice
for devout families. Kids can spend the summer among peers who share
their spirituality, learning about their family’s belief system through
arts and crafts, story time, and other kid-friendly activities.4. Arts Workshops – Many art museums offer programs
specifically tailored to budding art aficionados; local universities may
also host summer programs for children staffed by students with
education or arts majors. University programs may include visual art,
musical instruction, or theater programs, depending upon your area.5. Sports Clinics – Pint-sized athletes are sure to
love spending the summer honing their skills, which makes a local sports
clinic the ideal choice. These programs keep kids physically active,
which is a huge plus for parents who are concerned about the sedentary
lifestyle that many children adopt when school ends. Rather than
spending hours in front of the television or the computer, kids who
participate in a sports clinic can enjoy fresh air, sunshine, and
exercise while becoming stronger and more skilled athletes.6. Academic Programs – During summer vacation many
school systems still offer programs for academically gifted children.
Some programs even focus on peer-tutoring, allowing more advanced
students to offer assistance to classmates who struggle in some areas,
which can build a sense of social consciousness. Alternatively, many
programs feature an emphasis on building and expanding gifted kids’
already-impressive knowledge base. 7. Scouting – While the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of
America do have summer camps for their troop members scattered across
the country, plenty of troops stay home during summer vacation to
participate in locally-based scouting activities. School vacations
provide active scouts with the opportunity to earn merit badges and
other achievements, which can be difficult to do during the hectic
school year.8. Family Day Trips –
Families can spend their summer vacation taking a series of fun and
exciting day trips. Visiting the zoo, the park, or a children’s center
during the dog days of summer are surefire cures for the boredom and
inertia that often sets in around mid-July.9. Visiting Extended Family – Today’s families tend to
be more spread out than in previous generations, so kids might not get
to spend as much time with members of their extended family as they
would like. While spending a few weeks at summer camp might be daunting
for some kids, visiting a favorite family member during summer vacation
might not be as stressful.10. Family Camping Trips – Skipping a sleep-away summer
camp doesn’t mean that kids have to forgo the camping experience
altogether; outdoorsy families can plan a camping trip that keeps
everyone together and costs far less than sleep-away camp fees.

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Thursday, April 17, 2014

Remember when phone etiquette simply referred to the rules regarding
answering the home phone? Now that most people, including teens, have
their own cell phones, phone etiquette has a whole new meaning. It
includes courteously using a phone to talk, text and enjoy the other
features of today’s smart phones.

Here are some rules to share with your teen to encourage him to be a responsible and polite phone user.

Turn off your phone when you’re having a face to face conversation with someone.
The increased use of cell phones, tablets and laptops has taken a toll
on personal communication skills. Many teens have a hard time putting
their phones down and engaging in a real and sustained conversation with
another person. It’s become harder and harder for parents, teachers,
coaches and others to connect with teens in meaningful ways, and when
they are able to it’s often cut short by technology. While being able to
answer the phone every time someone calls is convenient, interrupting a
face to face conversation for a phone chat is disrespectful.

Teach your teen to turn off his phone or set it to vibrate (and then
ignore it!) when he’s involved in a face to face conversation. Help him
understand that by giving someone his full attention, he’s sending the
message that he genuinely cares about what the other person is saying.
Imagine how great it would be to enjoy dinner with your teen without his
phone ringing, beeping or vibrating every few minutes.

Remember that basic phone rules still apply. Although
your teen will know most of the people calling him, he will still need
to know how to correctly answer a phone call meant for another. Remind
him to speak clearly, ask if he can take a message, repeat the message
back to the caller and use “please” and “thank you.” As a follow up, he
should get the message to the intended party as soon as possible.

Keep the volume down when in a public place. There
are few things more annoying than someone loudly chatting away on a cell
phone right next to you. Remind your teen that when he’s in a public
place like a restaurant or movie theater, he’s sharing that space with a
bunch of people who aren’t interested in his conversation. He should
keep his voice lowered and step away from the crowd to talk. Some may
still be able to hear him, but his phone conversation will be much less
intrusive to others.

Keep it G rated. Teens often try out a wide variety
of curse words and crude statements as they find their “voice.” Although
it’s a natural part of the teen years, that doesn’t mean others should
have to endure it. Let him know it’s unacceptable to use that type of
language in any public conversation, especially if children or young
adults are around.

Don’t talk or text and drive. Not only is this good
etiquette, it’s also an essential safety measure. Talking or texting
while driving continues to rise and continues to cause injuries and
fatalities. Make this a clear and unwavering rule for your teen to keep
him and others safe on the road. There are also plenty of hands-free
options available today. Many newer cars are equipped with built in
Bluetooth connectivity, which makes answering a call or text safer.
However, it’s never a good idea for your teen’s attention to be anywhere
but the road, so carefully consider if hands-free calling is well
suited to your child.

Don’t take pictures or videos without permission.
It’s easy to snap a picture or grab a video with today’s smartphone
technology. But just because it’s possible, doesn’t mean it’s a good
idea. Ask your teen to make sure she has permission from everyone she
takes a picture or video of. Many people, including other teens, don’t
want to be caught in what others might think are funny poses or
situations. Posting inappropriate pictures and videos has become a
signature of bullying, so it’s a sensitive topic. Even if your teen has
the best intentions when using her smartphone camera, it could lead to
problems.

It’s easy for teens to get off track when it comes to phone
etiquette. They have fewer and fewer opportunities to learn and practice
interpersonal communication skills in their everyday life, so it’s no
surprise when phone skills fall by the wayside. A few quick
conversations and limits around phone use can easily get your teen back
on track.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Let's face it, tweens and teens
are a challenge and there will come a time when you are going to
question something they are telling you. Are they really going to the
mall or are they heading out to a party?

How do you know?

When your child is younger, spotting a fib isn’t much of a challenge.
Little ones don’t quite have the skills they need to fabricate a
plausible excuse, so picking apart a questionable story is usually the
work of a moment. As kids get older and hone their skills in the world
of deception, however, it usually becomes a bit more difficult to spot a
false story. Accusing your teen of lying
when she’s telling the truth can cause a major blow-up and do serious
damage to your relationship, but letting her out of the house with a
flimsy story can put her in dangerous situations. At no time in your
child’s life is it more difficult to pick out a lie than when she’s a
teenager, but it’s also the time when it’s most imperative.

While there’s no fool-proof method of sussing out the truth when a
teen is determined to lie, there are a few things you can keep in mind
that may help you get to the bottom of a story before things get out of
hand.

Look for Out-of-Character Behavior
Just as all poker players have a tell or two that will tip off an
opponent in the know, everyone has a few tics that can give them away
when they lie. The key to spotting suspicious behavior in your teen,
however, is to be intimately familiar with her habits when she’s telling
the truth. When you know your child and her mannerisms through and
through, you’ll be better positioned to pick up on inconsistencies that
indicate a lie or two. For instance, a teen that normally looks at the
floor may be conscious that she needs to make eye contact in order to
sell her story, and may hold that eye contact for so long that it tips
you off to her tall tales. Any mannerisms that are out-of-character and
suspicious can be indicators that she’s lying, so be on the lookout for
changes in behavior.

Listen Carefully
It’s easy to get so caught up in trying to decode your teen’s
behavior that you miss out on the most important aspect of determining
the veracity of a story: just listening. Make sure that you pay
attention to not only your teen’s mannerisms, but also what she says and
how she says it. Long pauses after you ask a question are usually the
result of your teen looking for holes in her story before answering,
concocting an answer to your question that falls in line with her
previous tale or to cover her tracks in case of a misstep. Slight
stuttering or stammering or a change in pitch may also be indicators
that your teen’s story isn’t entirely true.

Observe Her Body Language
A teenager that’s normally poised and graceful may have a perfect,
seamless story to tell that fails only because her shifty body language
betrays her. Look for fidgeting, excessive touching of the face, mouth
or neck, tapping toes or a visible struggle to stand still. If your teen
is suddenly fascinated with the hemline of a shirt or a stray thread
poking out of a seam, she may be looking for an excuse to avoid making
eye contact with you. Watching your child’s body language and comparing
it with her normal behavior can give you a good idea of when her story
is less than honest.

Ask Questions
Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions, or even the strange ones.
Your job as a parent is to find out where your teen is going and what
she’s up to, so don’t shy away from questioning a story that doesn’t sit
right with you. Follow your instincts and listen to what your own
experience tells you. If there’s a loose thread in your teen’s story,
follow it to see how well that story holds up. Look for inconsistencies
or discrepancies with the information you already have versus what she’s
giving you.

Trust Her
While it may seem like trusting a teenager is just asking for
trouble, you may be actively harming your relationship with her by
questioning every word that falls from her mouth. Realizing the
importance of showing her that you do trust her, and letting her know
that you’re approachable when she’s in need of help or advice can
actually foster a more open relationship that’s based on mutual trust
and respect. When you work to build that trust, you won’t have to worry
so much about picking apart her stories, as she’ll be more honest with
you from the outset of a conversation.
Accusing your child of lying when she’s telling you the truth only
makes her angry and makes her more likely to stretch the boundaries of
the truth in the future. After all, if she’s being accused of lying and
punished undeservedly for dishonesty, why shouldn’t she at least earn
your lack of trust and the penalties you level against her by doing
exactly what you accuse her of?

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Sexting is a topic that has been in the headlines and it isn't only about teens. Adults are guilty of sending and receiving sexual content via digital devices.

What is sexting?Sexting is the sending of sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phone.

Why does it matter when it comes to our teens:

In a technology world where anything can be copied, sent, posted, and
seen by huge audiences, there's no such thing as being able to control
information. The intention doesn't matter - even if a photo was taken
and sent as a token of love, for example, the technology makes it
possible for everyone to see your child's most intimate self.

In the
hands of teens, when revealing photos are made public, the subject
almost always ends up feeling humiliated. Furthermore, sending sexual
images to minors is against the law, and some states have begun
prosecuting kids for child pornography or felony obscenity.

What can parents do?

Don't wait for an incident to happen to your child or your
child's friend before you talk about the consequences of sexting. Sure,
talking about sex or dating with teens can be uncomfortable, but it's
better to have the talk before something happens.

Remind
your kids that once an image is sent, it can never be retrieved - and
they will lose control of it. Ask teens how they would feel if their
teachers, parents, or the entire school saw the picture, because that
happens all the time.

Talk about pressures to send
revealing photos. Let teens know that you understand how they can be
pushed or dared into sending something. Tell them that no matter how big
the social pressure is, the potential social humiliation can be
hundreds
of times worse.

Teach your children that the buck stops
with them. If someone sends them a photo, they should delete it
immediately. It's better to be part of the solution than the problem.
Besides, if they do send it on, they're distributing pornography - and
that's against the law.

Check out ThatsNotCool.com.
It's a fabulous site that gives kids the language and support to take
texting and cell phone power back into their own hands. It's also a
great resource for parents who are uncomfortable dealing directly with
this issue.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Today digital parenting is considered part of raising our kids. Especially with teenagers an all their gadgets.

Most teens are mobile now, and the ones with cell phones, 48% of them have data plans (internet).

It is more important than ever that parents discuss privacy concerns as well as their digital footprint. From the moment your child is given a keypad, their future starts on the internet.

Safer Internet Day is about creating a better internet together!

Safer Internet Day (SID) is organized by Insafe in February of each year
to promote safer and more responsible use of online technology and
mobile phones, especially amongst children and young people across the
world.

About Me

As a Parent Advocate and Author, my parenting book "Wit's End!" is
now available. Published by the publishers that brought you Chicken Soup
Book Series for the Soul series. Order today at www.witsendbook.com

My next book, Google Bomb, is also available now!
http://www.googlebombbook.com When revenge becomes e-venge many people are finding out how quickly their lives can be taken from them digitally and in real life!

Cyberbullying isn't only for kids, adults can sometimes be worse than teens!

Learn more and be proactive about maintaining your online reputation.

I am also on the Board of Director for Communities in Schools. I volunteer to help empower and keep teens in school. Education is the keys to success in life!