Life is hard and frankly it sucks! So many negative people and negative feelings and events, that it’s starting to make the world look grey and colourless.

I have always been the type of person to find the good. Try find the colour in every storm but lately it seems to get a lot harder every event. People seem to be losing their inner sunshine and that has become a real downer on the people like myself who try hard to be positive. Eventually it starts to drain you to the point whereby you stop seeing the colour and all you see is the grey and that is very scary for me.

See events happen and that can make you feel jealous. Like you don’t get the same attention or don’t get to see that person as often anymore. You have to sit and listen to everything they have to say even if it hurts you deep down inside but here is the trick… is it just jealousy or does it go deeper than that?

I have a constant need to feel loved. My down fall I guess. A lot has happened in my life and I need constant reminders that I am loved and that people need me and care for me. If people don’t need me, I can’t help and then a bit part of my soul and who I am does not get fed… Kind of like a plant that needs water to grow and survive… Because of this, I tend to feel threatened by people who seem to think they can take my place. People who think they deserve the same attention and affection that I worked years to get. That bugs me. That makes me see the grey and not the colour because I get discouraged.

Moral of my story: People have their own flaws. We have issues that run deeper than most people think and know and because of this, people might feel like its one emotion when it is actually deeper and more intense than that… Always remember that people feel the way they do for a reason. How we act and what we say affects people. So just be careful and maybe once in awhile, listen and take in what people say cause you never know what colour you could be taking away from them…

Ash

xxx

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