Turning Readers Off Course

WORD WATCH

Each sentence includes phrasing that momentarily misleads or confuses the reader. These errors fall into three categories:

Error No. 1: Ambiguous part of speech -- In the first sentence, we encounter ``garbage dump smells foul'' and assume ``smells'' is a verb; in fact, it's a noun.

Error No. 2: Obliviousness to set phrases -- In the second sentence, we erroneously assume ``fouled out'' means the player had to leave the game.

Error No. 3: The missing ``that'' -- In the third sentence, we think the witch is stating her foul intentions, when in fact she's stating that they're justified. Inserting ``that'' after ``stated'' would clarify the meaning.

Let's face it: The reader is a babe wandering through the woods. Innocent and gullible, he faithfully follows the bread crumbs the writer has dropped on the correct path. If the author carelessly spills crumbs on side paths, the reader will faithfully follow them, however briefly, until realizing he's off course.

As a writer, you can avoid such crumby turnoffs by being alert to miscues and ambiguities of wording. To practice doing this, see whether you can spot which type or types of error occur in each of the following sentences and then reword the sentence to avoid it.

a. When the press secretary saw the reporter, she wanted to tell him off the record.

b. The lawyer brilliantly argued his case should be postponed.

c. She gave the slick stranger the brush off the counter.

d. A love for golf courses through his veins.

e. The ticket-taker at the concert admitted two friends weren't paying.