Young woman: I really want a boyfriend who is mean, who can say that, “I’m gonna kill him” and then looks down at his hand, and that laughs. Older woman nods. Young woman: You know, like those villians in movies with that grin, not the crazy ones who laugh but the ones who grin.

Teen girl: I was so mad at him that I unfriended him on Facebook.Friend: What does that mean?Teen girl: I was mad, but not mad enough to break up. This way we can still message each other, but he can't poke me anymore.Friend: So, technically, would this be symbolic or metaphorical action?Teen girl: What?Friend: Nevermind.

Bimbo #1: Yeah, I really think I like him. We get along so well. I mean, we have a lot in common.Bimbo #2: Oh yeah? Like what?Bimbo #1: Well, we both love pugs.Bimbo #2: As in the type of dog? Everyone loves pugs. How can you not like pugs? They are so fucking cute.Bimbo #1 (challengingly): Yeah? Well, how about this one? Both of our dads died in plane crashes.Bimbo #2: Oh. My. God. You are sooo meant to be together.