Caroline: 'Why you won't see me on TV'

Her greatest creations - Mrs Merton and The Royle Family - are already a brilliant chapter in television comedy history. Yet, at just 37, Caroline Aherne has decided never to appear on screen again.

Explaining why, the writer and comedienne says she wants time to herself and to become a private person again.

Although there have been no serious boyfriends for three years, she also insists she is happy to be on her own and has 'no interest' in dating.

But in a telling remark, she quietly admits: 'I probably wouldn't be giving it up if I had someone.' And those close to her say her reasons for quitting are tied up with her barren love life.

In an interview in this week's Hello! magazine, Miss Aherne also confesses that, even at the height of The Royle Family's success, she suffered three bouts of depression last year.

She now sees a therapist weekly and says she has finally 'forgiven' herself for a suicide attempt three years ago which saw her admitted to the Priory Clinic and diagnosed as an alcoholic.

But on holiday in Mauritius two weeks ago, she decided she could only be truly happy by walking away from her career in front of the cameras.

She has cancelled all plans for further series of The Royle Family and for a BBC chat show with her best friend and co-star Craig Cash.

A film has been put on ice indefinitely and she says she will take at least a year off. She plans to return only to write and direct and wants, basically, to be famous no longer.

She admits her plans are not fully formed - she knows only that she wants to quit

'I had time to think when I was away and I've decided I just want to take some time away from it all for a while,' she says. 'I'm not thinking beyond that at the moment.

'I want to take myself off somewhere exotic and possibly write a book about my life. As long as I'm a TV personality, I can't moan about people being interested in my life.

'I've realised that if I really want a private life I'll have to be a private person again. I'm just relieved that I've finally made up my mind.

'I've been working non-stop for the last ten years and if I've learned anything from the last few years it's that I need some space for myself. I've done all the things I needed to do and I don't need to prove anything any more.'

Miss Aherne, who accepted two Bafta awards last year, adds: 'I'm really proud of what we achieved but I feel it's so precious that I would like to leave it here. I would hate anyone to get fed up with it and I would truly like to have some time off for myself.'

The news is surprising as she seemed happier than for some time. A U.S. version of The Royle Family is on the way, she has just moved into a large detached house in Hampstead, North West London, and she has been nominated for a Bafta award for her work behind the camera, directing the sitcom's third series.

But, it seems, she is still haunted by the depression which caused her suicide bid.

In July 1998 her mother Maureen found her confused and close to death at her west London flat.

Miss Aherne had drunk three bottles of champagne, swallowed prescribed anti-depressant pills and written farewell notes to her family and friends, including one to her dead father Bert.

'I couldn't believe I had taken an overdose,' she said later. 'I must have been so drunk, it was a total blackout. They told me it wasn't premeditated because I hadn't gone out and bought tablets. I'd taken what was in my medicine drawer. Oh, the shame of it and the worry I'd caused.'

In the space of four years, her father - partly the inspiration for Jim Royle - had died of cancer and she went through a much-publicised divorce from guitarist Peter Hook.

He famously came to blows with her then boyfriend Matt Bowers. She parted from Bowers in 1996 and he died of cancer the following year.

A few weeks before the suicide attempt, she had split from Alexis Denisof, a handsome actor she had moved to London to be with.

The combination of events was too much to handle, Miss Aherne tells Hello! 'Getting used to being famous alone would have been enough, but it was like a domino effect. I couldn't cope and I wanted to numb it all with drink.

'If I had known, I could have got myself a therapist and worked everything out. It would have made a huge difference.

'It has taken me all this time just to forgive myself for trying to top myself. I felt very guilty about what I had tried to do. I was sad to the core, but I've been able to deal with it and get on with my life.

'I still get bouts of depression. I had three last year but I emerged from them without turning to drink. I've learned to accept these days will pass and I don't have to be happy all the time.'

Although she has had no serious boyfriends since splitting with Denisof, she says every time she thinks she might find someone she quickly realises she is fooling herself.

In a recent interview, she said: 'I've given myself up to the love of the job.'

But Craig Cash said: 'She says to me, "I'm never going to live with anyone again." Next minute it's, "Actually, yeah, he's moved in." She comes up with all this stuff about her career coming first, but Caroline's actually gagging for a bloke.'

Those who know her well say she is increasingly lonely and yearns to be part of a family unit.

And for all her brave words about conquering her drink problems, there are still occasional signs she is not in control. At the National Comedy Awards, shown live on ITV in December, she appeared drunk when she heckled Sir Nigel Hawthorne.

That was her last public appearance. At a string of recent events she has asked Craig Cash to stand in as the public face of The Royle Family. That was the first indication she wanted to leave the limelight.

One long-standing friend told the Daily Mail: 'Caroline says she is very happy, but you do wonder, you know, if the lady doth protest too much. Of course she would love to have a boyfriend but she is worried that she will blight someone's life because she is famous.

'Her solution is not just to go for it and find someone and muddle through, but instead to try and become un-famous. It is a very Caroline way of going about it.'

Behind the announcement, there have been arguments with her showbusiness colleagues.

Leaving The Royle Family will cost her hundreds of thousands of pounds - and, of course, means the end of the line for her co-stars and the executives who have also benefited from the show's success.

Those close to her begged her to reconsider. But one said: 'Once she has made up her mind, then that's that.'

Miss Aherne's friends hope her retirement will prove temporary. And what will the girl from Manchester really do with the time off?

Sue Johnston, who plays her mother in The Royle Family, saw how much showbusiness meant to Miss Aherne as she has pored over rushes at 10.30pm.

She observed: 'She gives such total commitment that you almost think, "Caroline, I hope you will be all right when it's all over." '