It became necessary to take a sabbatical from writing at The Orchid Blooms, mainly because I started a home bakery (The Luscious Cake Company) which for a minute there kind of took over our lives. You can find it us on Instagram at @luscious_cake_company. I don't seem to know exactly what to do with myself: started as a medical doctor, then went into full-time motherhood, decided to become a writer, and now I'm a baker! I never could definitively answer the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?".

No matter now...here we are again. I've genuinely missed speaking with you guys.It looks like we have quite a few new readers. Welcome! So glad to have you here. I wanted to post links to how The Orchid Blooms began. I started by sharing our journey through severe postpartum depression with my first child, then depression after we lost our second child, and finally severe postpartum depression coupled with severe anxiety after we had our third child. The journey has been a long and painful one, but thankfully, it has a happy ending. Welcome to The Orchid Blooms guys. I appreciate you being here, reading what I write.​Follow me on Facebook: @theorchidblooms and on Instagram: @its_mama_tito.BLESS.

]]>Mon, 26 Mar 2018 11:39:52 GMThttp://www.theorchidblooms.com/blog/all-this-has-been-the-curtain-raiserHas this world been so kind to you that you should leave it with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.C.S Lewis

I recently had to attend two funerals that happened to be a week apart. One was for my aunt, and the other, for the child of my dear friends. Both of them had been unwell for a season, but it was still an astonishing blow each time I received that fateful message that they had left this world. My heart constricted in pain and the tears fell unbidden. In that initial haze of shock, I felt as though I would collapse to the floor because I would never see them again. I was not ready to say goodbye; it was too soon. I needed...more time. But then I remembered. What I was feeling was not true. I would see them again. Maybe not as soon as I would like, but our reunion is an objective reality. It will happen. Why?One Name.Jesus.

I've had a recurring dream or vision, not really sure what to call it, of my aunt in the midst of a multitude of glorious bodies, standing on a sea of glass, praising God. It's not wishful thinking, but rather an informed hope. I say informed, because of two reasons: my aunt is a believer in the one true God, Jesus Christ who is her Saviour, and so she passed from death to life last month. The other very likely reason for my dream is that I'm spending a lot of time listening to the book of Revelation*. I listen to huge chunks of it during my day; when I wake up, before I sleep, on my blue-tooth speaker in the kitchen as I cook, or as I drive. You would be surprised how much ground you can cover by only listening.

The book of Revelation is incredible. Staggering. Phenomenal. Extraordinary. Breathtaking. Astounding. It is, quite frankly, unimaginable. In some parts, it is downright frightening. The first sentence of this letter to christians says it is a "revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave Him to show His servants, the things that must soon take place." Do not let the wonder of that statement escape you. God the Father, in His mercy, in His wisdom, decided to allow us, His servants, to see His Son Jesus as He is. He gave Jesus this revelation, about His very self...to give to us. How did He choose to do this. He "sent his angel, to His servant John, who bore witness to the word of God and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, even to all that he saw." Said another way, John was seated in a dark prison cell on an island called Patmos when an angel appeared right there, in front of him and proceeded to show him things that up until this day, only He has seen. Do you understand that? John, a human being who lived as we are living now, was given this prime seat in an empty theatre, and shown it all...how the world will end. All of it. He. Saw. It. That which has not yet taken place. And he was instructed to write it down. For who?

For us.

So we MUST read it; and we should take it to heart. Why? Because,"Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near."Revelation 1:3

This book is meant to bless us! How many movies have we watched about people in time machines, teleporting themselves into the past, and back to the future? You must remember that wistful sensation that coursed through you, wishing you could take a peek into your tomorrow...

Well. The reality is that it is known. How it will end. And how forever will begin. There is very little of it hidden ( a few times God asks John, Daniel and Ezekiel to seal some of what they saw). This is the summary. Everyone you will ever meet, will live forever. God set eternity in the heart of man (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Each of us will have our day when our eyes shall close for their final time here on earth. And in an instant, we shall open them again, in the literal presence of our Maker.

Shall you sing and shout and dance....or shall you weep and gnash your teeth realizing that it is too late for your soul?

It may sound trite, but why don't you take a minute and ask yourself, "Where am I going when I die?".

*I use the Youversion Bible app on my phone and tablet for the audio function.​

]]>Mon, 29 Jan 2018 10:32:05 GMThttp://www.theorchidblooms.com/blog/sexless-in-the-cityIf your goal is purity of heart, be prepared to be thought very odd.Elisabeth Elliot

My 2018 has started with some great questions from some of you guys, and it's been so great speaking with you. Just over a week ago, one of you sent me a direct message on my Instagram handle @its_mama_tito. This was the question:"What is your view on sexual purity in a christian dating relationship?".

Sigh! I don't know where time went and I became the adult who is asked these questions, LOL; and on this particular issue...aiyaiyai. But I genuinely believe that coming second right after understanding right doctrine on salvation, is sexual purity. Many of you reading this spent your teenage years in church circles. You went for the church camps, attended the sexual purity conferences, made your 'True Love Waits' pledges, and you wore the WWJD rubber wrist bands. You sat around camp fires and asked, 'How far is too far' and 'what are the right sexual boundaries'. There really wasn't anywhere else to meet people your own age, so you went to church. It was the one place your parents didn't stalk your every move. The girls could sit together and giggle about boys; the boys could sit together and check the girls out. You all started getting girlfriends and boyfriends. Adolescence was peaking and your hormones were causing you to boil from the inside. Very quickly, what you were trying so hard to understand, to believe, and to live out, was in serious opposition to what your bodies were craving. And the slippery slope began. The lone thread slowly but surely unraveled the garment of faith, and some of you were lost.

I was 15 in 1999. I cannot believe it; I just had to use my calculator to confirm it. I'm a relic. Even then, staying away from sex was near impossible. And yet we had no constant access to the internet(queuing at the Burger Dome cyber cafe, can I get a witness!), no mobile phones and no satellite TV. I cannot begin to comprehend how tough things are for teenagers today...it gives me the shivers! It makes me pray harder for my children.

Now, I want to try my level best to explain why it should matter, that you don't have sex until you are married. Naturally, if you consider yourself a Christian, this is an article you should read. Read to the end before making up your mind on the issue. If you aren't a Christian, I'd appreciate you reading it as well. It will either intrigue and pull you to it, or further cement your decision to reject Jesus. For some of the verses I'll quote, I'll be using The Living Bible (TLB), which is a paraphrasing version of the Bible, not a direct translation. Let's do this; God help me.

It all began with a lie. This lie was told at the very beginning, when our vast universe held the lives of the first two human beings.A lie was suggested to them; and they believed it. And since then, so have we. Genesis 3:1-61 The serpent was the craftiest of all the creatures the Lord God had made. So the serpent came to the woman. “Really?” he asked. “None of the fruit in the garden? God says you mustn’t eat any of it?”

2-3 “Of course we may eat it,” the woman told him. “It’s only the fruit from the tree at the center of the garden that we are not to eat. God says we mustn’t eat it or even touch it, or we will die.”

4 “That’s a lie!” the serpent hissed. “You’ll not die! 5 God knows very well that the instant you eat it you will become like him, for your eyes will be opened—you will be able to distinguish good from evil!”

6 The woman was convinced. How lovely and fresh looking it was! And it would make her so wise! So she ate some of the fruit and gave some to her husband, and he ate it too.

Everyone watches the Lion King and gets anxious when the wildebeest start descending down that cliff. We hope against hope that Mufasa won't die this 20th time that we're watching the movie. But he always dies. Simba is always abandoned, and our hearts break painfully every time.That's how I feel each time I read that scene in Genesis. If only the serpent had stayed silent. If only Eve hadn't listened. If only she had walked away. If only she had asked Adam for help. If only they had remembered their friend, God.All of the world's pain, from the beginning of time, was birthed in this conversation, where a lie was spawned, considered, believed and then acted upon. Now I realize many of us skim over this book of the Bible summing it up as fable, fairy-tale, illogical, irrelevant and plain foolishness in the face of modern science. That's a discussion for another day. But today I want you to see, to really see,what happened here.

Eve concluded that God was not enough for her. She decided she wanted more.She believed God hadn't been honest with her; He was holding out on a better life she could be living.She stopped trusting Him and decided to go against what He had told her and her husband, because, as she had just learned, "It's a lie; you won't surely die. God knows very well that the instant you eat it you will become like him...".She believed that God was a liar.And by eating the fruit, she was saying, "I want to be God."

Understanding what happened that day in Eden, will help us understand ourselves today and the irrepressible temptation to doubt God's words about sex. We're in a culture that is in ever-increasing opposition to God's words; the only truth. It's becoming increasingly offensive to people.1 Corinthians 1:18 says:"The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction. But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God." That word foolish, in other Bible versions is also translated as folly, nonsense and insanity. Put simply, unbelievers consider Christians to be truly stupid, weak-minded and actually mad.I was listening to a lady called Jackie Hill Perry speak the other day about biblical womanhood and there were a few things she said that can be applied to sex as well. She talked about being very careful about the influences that shape our beliefs and thus our actions. I implore you, be cautious about having a cynical attitude towards the Bible. If you find yourself irked by the words, it means you've been listening to and believing the world a bit too long. It means you've been gleaning from today's world, ideas of sex from people who do not know the One who literally created sex. When this happens, we see God as a liar; a liar who wants to constrain, stifle and frustrate us. We see Him as the killjoy who would withhold a good thing from us; who wants to prevent us from living a free, fulfilled, satisfied and sexually awakened life.

Can't you hear the serpent hiss in your ear?

Here's what I think. Dating is tough. I am dead set against dating for the sake of it. I stopped when I was 19 after a couple of failed relationships in which I had given pieces of myself I'd guard with my life if I had the chance for a do-over. I was so exhausted. The next time I said yes to a date was when I met my husband, seven years later and I was very interested to see if it could lead to a life together. I'm not saying you decide someone is your spouse before even saying hello to them. I'm saying, if marriage is not anywhere near your radar as a Christian, do yourself a favour, and stay single. Otherwise you'll be wasting the time of the person you decide to date, and you'll be putting yourselves in a risky situation where blood runs hot and resolve goes cold.Now once you do start a relationship, what is really needed is obedience. This how 'far is too far' business, exposes the true motives of one's heart. You're not interested in how you can honour God. What you want to know is how far you can push the envelope before God gets mad with you. I know this because I was this person once...I just wanted a list of allowed activities so I could be on my merry way to go and enjoy these delights uptight church folk kept telling me were forbidden. "I mean, did God surely say it?", was my constant stance.

So what does He actually say.God is the architect of sex in all it's dazzling glory. It is good. It is holy. It is right. It is beautiful. It hasn't a tinge of shame to it. It is a freeing, ecstatic, oh-so-pleasurable experience to be enjoyed as frequently as possible.“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” (Proverbs 5:18-19)He made it exclusively for married people.“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” (Hebrews 13:4)Being sexually pure is serious. The stakes are terrifyingly high."That is why I say to run from sex sin. No other sin affects the body as this one does. When you sin this sin it is against your own body. 19 Haven’t you yet learned that your body is the home of the Holy Spirit God gave you, and that he lives within you? Your own body does not belong to you. 20 For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God because he owns it."(1 Corinthians 6:18-20 TLB).Sexual sin has consequences that should put the fear of God in you.Away then with sinful, earthly things; deaden the evil desires lurking within you; have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust, and shameful desires; don’t worship the good things of life, for that is idolatry. 6 God’s terrible anger is upon those who do such things. 7 You used to do them when your life was still part of this world; 8 but now is the time to cast off and throw away all these rotten garments of anger, hatred, cursing, and dirty language. (Colossians 3:5-8 TLB). There's so much more, and you should look it all up for yourself. But I'd like it for us to refrain from reading the Bible in pieces. It's difficult to see the point of this without the whole picture. What do I mean? This same God requiring purity of you, is the One who shall strengthen and equip you for every good work ( Hebrews 13:21), especially this work of purity.He is the same God that delights over you with singing (Zehaniah 3:17), who takes great pleasure in you (Psalm 149:4), loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3) and is the giver of every good thing to you(Psalm 84:11, James 1:17). He is the One who will leave the ninety-nine sheep and go looking for the one lost one (Matthew 18:12), because of His great love. Child, you mean more to Him than you will ever mean to anyone. He is the same God who invested everything to save you, giving His only Son's life (John 3:16), to spare yours. Because He is actually LOVE (1 John 4:8).

Don't you see? These rules? They are boundaries birthed from this supernatural love of His for you. He is a Father who knows better than you, the child. There are painful consequences to sexual immorality, the worst being that it distances you from Him and you flounder through life without His guidance and wisdom. I don't let my daughter touch a candle flame just because she thinks it's pretty. I don't let my son have an entire chocolate bar, because his little teeth will rot. These examples may seem trivial, but I'm giving them for us to see that God was the first parent and is the only perfect parent. He's taking care of you when He tells you, WAIT FOR MARRIAGE. Believe Him, not the world. I beg you. Believe, Him.

A pastor called Garrett Kell who writes articles on the website desiringgod.org has taught me about this. Recognize that an enemy exists, and that he is after your soul. Satan wants you to understimate how susceptible you are to temptation. He wants you to think you could never take sin to the next level. This is a powerful trick since it simultaneously plays on both our pride and also our well-intended desire to honor God. But my friend.You're weaker than you think. You can, and you will, go where you think you won't. Sin is like the undertow of the ocean—if you play in it, you'll be overpowered and swept away into certain destruction.

Satan will tempt you to think purity is a not-to-be-crossed line rather than a posture of the heart. He wants you to think purity before God is not kissing or not taking off clothes or not having oral sex or not “going all the way.” He wants you to think that if you don't cross a certain line, you're staying pure. The problem with this kind of thinking, however, is that Jesus says if we just lust in our heart we've sinned and stand condemned before God (Matt. 5:27-30). Purity is much more about the posture of our hearts than the position of our bodies. This age-old “How far is too far?” question reveals a desire to get as close to sin as possible instead of a desire to flee as our Lord calls us to (1 Cor. 6:18).Premarital sex and sex within marriage are two entirely different worlds. The forbidden fruit of lust portrays sex before marriage as something better, or something that will probably dissipate in marriage. Normally, premarital sexual activity is like gas on fire. Passion is high, feelings are intense, and the drive to go further is fueled by the knowledge that you shouldn't (Rom. 7:8). Sex in marriage is different. There's still passion, and there's still intense feelings and emotions—but sex in marriage is based primarily on the hot coals of trust, devotion, and sacrifice (1 Cor. 7:1-5). Couples who built their sexual expectations on passion provided by the forbidden fruit are often disappointed and confused when sex is different in marriage. You might read that and think that you and your lover are the exception to the rule, but no. You're not; nobody is. Satan wants you to get used to running on the caffeine and sugar of lust rather than mature love of service and sacrifice that comes with a marriage.

So that's it. What now.

To the single Christian, sexless in the city. I know exactly how hard it is. You are an anomaly. A lonely, longing, frustrated anomaly, sticking out like a sore thumb. The Lord sees you, and is pleased with your obedience in this matter. Wait in faith. Even if you have watched every friend you have get married and have graduated from soaking your pillow with tears to being just plain fed up and pissed off...wait. Say “no” to sin's promises, by faith in God's. Renew your mind with God's Word and keep waiting in faith. A lady I love, Elisabeth Elliot once said, "How long must I wait Lord? Never mind child, trust me."

To the men.Guys, LEAD. You have to be the one that sets the pace for purity.Too often women are forced to draw the lines and to say “no.” That's cowardly and wrong. It's the man's responsibility to care for his future wife by leading her toward Jesus and away from sin, darkness, and the pain of evil. If he sets the wrong pattern here, he'll be struggling to climb out of the hole for years afterward—and may never regain the ground he loses apart from God's grace. So ladies, if you're the one always saying no to going back to his house after a date and swatting away his roaming hands...drop that weakling and walk in the strength of Jesus. Guys, if she spends most of your time seducing you, can you just run like a cat on fire. Run.

To those of you dating. Use common sense. Listen to the still, small voice in your heart that tells you no. Don't say you don't know how to listen for God's voice, because all of us know that immediate check in our spirits when we're approaching danger. That's God, just listen and obey. Another thing. Don't let your relationship remain unexamined by other Christians. Both of you should have a godly couple or group of faithful friends who hold you accountable. Invite tough questions and give honest answers. God uses transparency to give strength.

To you who think God's grace and love for you will overlook your sins, who has bewitched you? Shall you keep on sinning so that God can keep on showing you more and more kindness and forgiveness (Romans 6:1)? Those of you in church every Sunday, while you comfortably carry out sexual relationships all week. You guys dating women just because they are hot, having sex with them casually, knowing you have zero intentions to commit to her, not caring they are people's daughters. (Try imagine men treating your daughter the way you are currently treating the woman you're seeing and decide if you're a punk or not). To you who are lifting hands in worship in every service, crying crocodile tears, half-repenting, half-knowing you have no plans to give up the sex, because it's too good. Know this; you are hurtling down the Hell Express freeway. Not my opinion. It's God's words.The Son of God was publicly humiliated and murdered on a wooden cross to save you; His blood didn't soak into the soil that day for you to lead a double life. It is not cheap grace He gives. It cost Him everything. You are being a hypocrite; and Jesus' harsh words to hypocrites in the gospels are referring specifically to you.If you think I'm just trying to scare you, it's because it's FRIGHTENING. This isn't a joke. Stop playing with fire. Don't deceive yourself; God will not be mocked (Galatians 6:7) .

Finally. To the one with a broken heart over your sin. To the one still here reading this article about to give up because of how much you've messed up: Jesus came for you. And His is the kind of love that will wash you completely, until you sparkle white as snow. A thought occurred to me recently. I realized, most of the people who listened to Jesus and the apostles and became Christians, weren't virgins. A large percentage of the first followers of Christ had led sexual lives before encountering Love. Think of those in Corinth, and in Rome. Sex was god in those times...If you read the first chapter of Romans you'll see how orgies and same-sex relations were the order of the day. And these are the very people who became God's children when they believed in Jesus for their salvation. Clearly, God will accept anyone. So reject that lie, that because you 'lost your virginity', you could never enter the Love of God. That is the serpent hissing.

Enough dwelling on what you've done, what is lost. Enough.

I am not perfect; I made my mistakes. But with Paul, I say that God made me His own, despite my mess. And so, I'm not going to wallow. I'm going to forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead. I'm pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

​Brothers and sisters, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. (Phillipians 3:17)

​FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT. Like my dear friend Nash has commented below, Sexual purity isn't just about avoiding sex until marriage, but rather, going all the way in the opposite direction, pursuing God. He is the goal of our faith; and purity makes it possible for us to know Him more, and more...and more. That kind of intimacy makes all others pale in comparison.

While doing research for this new series, I found a few intriguing info-graphics on the millennial mother. (Millennials being broadly categorized as people born between 1981-2001.) This particular info-graphic though, it struck several chords within me. It didn't just kind of describe me...it came pretty close to a crystal clear reflection of my digital self. And the frightening thing is, the more I think about it, I have a hard time figuring out if there are other parts of me, or whether I have become wholly digitalized. I don't know for sure if I exist substantially outside of the touchscreen-flat screen realm. I hope I can explain myself properly today, because I think my predicament is not exclusive to The Orchid Blooms. I worry that it might be an epidemic among us, the Millennial Moms.

I'll admit, before I fell pregnant, I never gave much thought to being a mom. I mean, I was always a girl that had the daydreams about her wedding, and having a dining table full of kids some years later. The wife and mom gig was one I have desired and prayed about for several years. I really wanted it. But I never thought much about how I would actually do it, raise them. I knew loosely that of course I would teach them about Christ but that was about it. And I think that's OK. There's nothing wrong with not preparing for a future you don't have yet; there's also nothing wrong with preparing for it either.

It's that preparation though that sent me down a rabbit hole I am only starting to climb out of. I am being honest when I say that my attachment to my phone, and now my tablet and computer, only really started in 2012, when I became pregnant with Tito. I can't remember that first question I asked Google about my pregnancy, but it was like my first sniff of a highly addictive drug. In an instant my feet left the edge of reason and I fell into this abyss of internet opinion.

I remember at some point being frustrated with my mum and her counterparts because any time I would ask a question about how they raised us, they would nonchalantly reply, "Aiiii, that was a long time ago, now who can remember?". And I would be thinking, "How can you not remember at which month you introduced meat and eggs into my diet?? This is a matter of life and death!". Yet of course it wasn't. But, this digital alternate reality in which women's minds were being poured out into one huge coalesced pond of thought, had made every decision I would make about parenting seem exactly like that, a matter of life and death.

Did you take folic acid in your first trimester? No? Oh my, there goes your child's spinal chord formation.Are you taking your Omega 3's and Calcium? No? Well...I guess you're OK with your kid having a low IQ.Of course you need a birth plan. What kind of woman goes into hospital without a birth plan?Who in this age doesn't book a doula? (As husbands collectively ponder to themselves on what a doula could possibly be.)Let's not forget the birth photographer. And yes, it's going to be a natural birth, with no pain medications, because you know, those drugs go straight into your child's bloodstream and they will grow up to be sociopaths.Yes doctor, you can't coax me into a c-section. Read the birth plan I shoved into your hands earlier.Exclusive breastfeeding is my motto; milk formula is from the devil, and it will kill my baby's immunity and IQ too. I want my kid to go to university. We are not introducing solids until the baby turns 6 months old; not a day before, not one crumb. And no water either...anyone that does, well, she's a second-rate mother. But we aren't going to tell her that, we'll just think it.Screen time shall kill your children's brains, approximately 47,000 cells per half hour of cartoons, c'mon, everyone knows that.No fried foods; if you make the effort and stay consistent, your child will be crying for peas and brocolli.Sugar is the DEVIL. Enough said. You're not co-sleeping? Do you not want to be emotionally bonded to your children all of your lives? Play group, play dates, play everything...how are you not on the play-merry-go-round yet?Oh, he's not reading yet? Or counting to 100? Wow. Take risks much?What do you mean you apply heat to your daughter's hair? Your home needs to be a free zone: gluten-free, BPA-free, GMO-free,screen-free, sugar-free processed food-free, preservative-free....Oh. And of course. Coconut Oil. Just, coconut oil...everywhere.

I could have continued with a few more paragraphs out of the self-inflicted considerably delusional, worryingly obsessive millennial mom rule book, but it's giving me heartburn just thinking about these things.

You see, none of the things I've listed are wrong, or inherently bad. And there is a lot of good to be thanked for from this age we live in, that we can communicate with anyone, anywhere in the world, instantaneously. This digital world, has done a great job of connecting us to real women everywhere, and teaching mothers so much about, so much.

But the systematic breakdown of the motherhood psyche has been unparalleled. In all of history, this is unique to our current age. I brought up our mothers earlier; compared to us, they were remarkably relaxed. To a large extent, they went with the flow. They loved us and seemed to have an internal disposition that. "These kids of mine will turn out alright."There are certain character traits I have found in us that are conspicuously lacking in most baby boomer moms: the endless doubting of herself. The mommy guilt over nothing and everything. The vicious competition/judging of other moms.And when I say us, I am wholly including Christian women.

This is a problem we need to figure out.

​

]]>Thu, 12 Oct 2017 10:10:01 GMThttp://www.theorchidblooms.com/blog/he-chose-me-for-themHer heart is full of another world, even when her hands are most busy about this world. Matthew Henry

Yesterday in the car, my son and I were having a conversation about fear. He was struggling with something and I was telling him that being brave isn't the absence of fear. I told him that every time he does the thing he is afraid to do, he is being brave; and after a while he'll start to realize that the fear isn't that big a deal anymore. And that one day, that thing he was at first truly frightened to do, will be relatively easy. I reminded him about the first few attempts at riding his bike without his training wheels; he was so scared we had to put them back on for a couple of months. Then we took them off again, and he was brave. Now he flies like the wind on that bike. I told him, that God never gave us a spirit of fear. That Jesus dwells in His heart because he is a little boy who has believed in Him. That means He was never alone, and could call on God 24/7 for strength, and courage. He listened intently, albeit through tears as he was contemplating the fearsome thing he had to do. Then we said a quick prayer.Later in the day, on the way home, he said to me, " Mama, today I was brave. And I even prayed in my heart for God to help me."

My throat constricted with emotion. I asked, "Did God help you?" "Yes mama. He did. I wasn't scared anymore."A lone tear escaped and fell onto my shirt. This was the zenith of parenting. When, not only does your child listen to you teach them about the Lord, but they speak about Him as their own God. These moments of glorious revelation are more precious than gold to me. Still, there was the slightest hue of pride making broad streaks across my heart's canvas. Pride, in my motherhood. A kind of "I have this thing down" smirking on the inside.

It didn't last. God dealt with it immediately.

Tito asked me, "Mama, are you ever afraid?".

The question took me aback. I was quiet for a bit, wondering if I should be vulnerable with my four year old, or whether I should give him an honest but shallow answer, like, "I'm afraid of spiders." I felt then, a deep certainty that I should be real with him. Without much contemplation, the answer came easily, and it really surprised me."Yes love. Some days, I'm afraid that I won't be a good enough mama to you and your sister. I don't want to fail you."

The words just hang there in the open space between us in the car; I took a sharp breath, wanting to draw them back in. I felt exposed, naked almost. Like someone had ripped off my superhero cape and mask, and now he was going to see that I was really not much of a super-mom. I looked at him through the rear-view mirror. He was seated relaxed in his car seat, looking out the window at the moving world. I fully expected him to reassure me that I'm a great mama, and he loves me and we'd then crank up the volume and bob our heads to Sauti Sol. But no.

Without turning his head, the boy calmly said, "OK. You need to pray about that."

​End of conversation.

Wow. It was a shock. A toddler had given me the solution I had staring me in the face, every minute of every day: PRAY. All the advice I had given him earlier in the day, about bravery, strength, courage, Christ living inside us...I wasn't living it. Especially not as a mom.

This is the topic I want to focus on in this new series. The Christian mother. Who is she? What does she look like? What does her home look like? Her kids, how do they behave? What are her motivations, what drives her today in this world in 2017?

Stay with me as God helps The Orchid Blooms tear down idols, shatter myths and build a house on a solid foundation.