I almost want to put this in the research forum because I am truly curious how this works. I haven't been on many official dates. I'm sure I can count on one hand the ones I would consider dates. I just had a huge long convo with my mom about this and all the boys I've dated...which really isn't much.

I haven't done much dating, haha. Before I met PM I was only with boys I didn't even like. I was the insecure girl who was just so happy to have a boy be nice to her that she only thought it right to become his girlfriend if that's what he wanted.

i think its trying a tad too hard for the first date. the i promised you ice cream might be a good line to ask for a second date though.

This is actually quite smooth!

I've not been on a formal first date since I was in high school. Tend to meet people more organically or whatever, through friends, and just decide we'll hang out alone after we've all been out or something. Maybe if I was dating people now I would actually go out on dates and if I did I would want to go to the cinema and then have a drink afterwards.

i think its trying a tad too hard for the first date. the i promised you ice cream might be a good line to ask for a second date though.

Yep, I agree with Barb. Try and keep it cool.

I miss the excitement and butterflies you get before a date!

And I'm probably going to make me sound like an alcoholic but I (used to) like meeting for a drink or being in an environment where I could have one (i.e. a gig) on a first date. Helps to break the ice a bit.

I've never really had a bad date honestly. The worst might be this time i was seeing an older gal (older meaning she was 31, i was 28). She came to my neck of the woods and our dog had just had puppies so i showed her the puppies, which were super cute. Then she went to wash her hands in the kitchen and i forgot i hadn't done the dished yet because i worked late or something. She scowled but washed her hands.

Then i took her to this wildlife refuge where they have tigers and a jaguar and some other big cats. But when we got there, you couldn't get inside the place because it's not really open to the public so we panicked and i back up and ran over some cones and i thought it was a rare cat or something. It was kind of awkward.

The actual date wasn't that bad, we went window shopping at this really nice market place and had some wine and food. Then when we got back to my neighborhood, i rolled through a stop sign and pulled in my driveway just as i got pulled over. I thought it was security because it was unmarked except for the lights so i kept getting smart with the guy until i realized he was a cop and he wrote me a ticket while my date sat in the car in my driveway waiting. Then she met my mom, who came outside to see what all the fuss was about.

We're still friends, this girl and i. We dated a little bit more a couple of years after that first date. Now we both have serious relationships and when we're together, we don't talk about our romance with our significan others because they both get jealous. It's fun.

When I was 13 or 14 I went on a really bad blind date. He was a friend of a friend's friend, I think. I'd only ever spoken to the boy on the phone the previous evening ('we clicked' over our mutual love of metal or something) and agreed to meet at the local shopping mall with our other friends (as teenagers do). When we arrived I was introduced to a boy that was only about 5ft and pre-pubescent, whilst I was already my current height (5ft6.5). He was unimpressed and so was I. We went our seperate ways after about 10 minutes.

I took my wife to Denny's. Really, that's enough said. I also had friends there. It was my drummer (at the time) and his girlfriend so it wasn't like I had 'the boys' hanging out for our date. I was really awkward about socializing. Not just with women, but with people in general. She was really pissed about it and I found out years later. Great thing about screwing up is that you learn from it. My lessons?
*Make it an actual date
*Make it an actual restaurant
*Grow a pair

My single bad date was with a girl. Blind date, no chemistry at all, we didn't find anything to talk about besides college, a bit of music, and that's about it. First and last time I went out with someone of my own sex. We went out for coffee/tea, it was winter and really cold.

I met a really hot/nice guy once. I would describe him as gentlemanly. We were going to see a movie together that weekend.

We start texting a lot and out of nowhere, he says something like "u should show me ur boobs."

I was like "haha no."

He was like "come on."

I was like "wait. wait. you're serious?"

He was like "well ya."

I was like "I don't think I can come this weekend."

He was like "ok *shaking my head*"

Like he was disappointed in ME and I should feel ashamed of myself for ruining what could have been so beautiful. I didn't ever talk to him again and he didn't ever even send another text.

He was extremely charming in person though so I guess it works enough of the time for him. But I found the way he texted (lol u ur wat) annoying. I liked him so much that I might've even done it if he'd just asked in person. But this, this was just insulting.

I was 15, and it was my first date with this girl (we'd hung out at basketball games and such). It was a double with my friend, with whom I'm still great friends with, and a girl with whom it was his first date, too.

Dinner and a movie. Pretty standard. Anyway, I showed up before any of them. The girls arrived, and it was just the three of us. Turned out my friend couldn't make it because he got in trouble with his dad. Dammit. So the girls chatted it up, and I tried to talk to my date, but she was very quiet. I felt bad for the other girl, so I chatted with her a bit, too. At that point, I didn't think my date was very interested in me anymore. Not sure.

Then it was movie time, and the other girl didn't go home. Dammit! I paid for the meals, and now I was gonna pay for all the tickets. Fiiine. So I just sat, and eventually held my date's hand, but we didn't get to do anything else, because the other girl was there. So fuck me, the night didn't end up too well. The girls got picked up after the movie, and I was left with nothing but an empty wallet and a sweaty hand.

I (stupidly) decided to preemptively stop seeing the girl, seeing as how it just seemed like she was disinterested. Turns out she couldn't shut up about me at school and already had this whole Valentine's thing planned for the next next weekend. So after I told her, I became the asshole at the all-girls private school.

And the other couple? The one where the guy didn't even show up on the first date? He's planning on proposing to her before the end of the year. 8 years together, those two.

Towards the end of my "dating life", i went on them with the attitude of being ridiculous and just goofing off and kind of laying it out there and i had more success than most of the rest of my "dating life".

I was 15, and it was my first date with this girl (we'd hung out at basketball games and such). It was a double with my friend, with whom I'm still great friends with, and a girl with whom it was his first date, too.

Dinner and a movie. Pretty standard. Anyway, I showed up before any of them. The girls arrived, and it was just the three of us. Turned out my friend couldn't make it because he got in trouble with his dad. Dammit. So the girls chatted it up, and I tried to talk to my date, but she was very quiet. I felt bad for the other girl, so I chatted with her a bit, too. At that point, I didn't think my date was very interested in me anymore. Not sure.

Then it was movie time, and the other girl didn't go home. Dammit! I paid for the meals, and now I was gonna pay for all the tickets. Fiiine. So I just sat, and eventually held my date's hand, but we didn't get to do anything else, because the other girl was there. So fuck me, the night didn't end up too well. The girls got picked up after the movie, and I was left with nothing but an empty wallet and a sweaty hand.

I (stupidly) decided to preemptively stop seeing the girl, seeing as how it just seemed like she was disinterested. Turns out she couldn't shut up about me at school and already had this whole Valentine's thing planned for the next next weekend. So after I told her, I became the asshole at the all-girls private school.

And the other couple? The one where the guy didn't even show up on the first date? He's planning on proposing to her before the end of the year. 8 years together, those two.

The bad night story that comes to mind for me is a date that I didn't realise was supposed to be a *date*.

I had spent the day with a guy friend I was getting pretty close with friends wise, but whom I had literally zero attraction too. In my mind we were truly just good friends. We had found out about a last minute show and spent the whole afternoon panhandling together, telling everyone we tried to bum cash off of that it was to get in the show (people were quite generous and jovial about it too).

nearing evening we hopped a bus to go to my place so I could change and get ready, halfway through the bus ride, out of nowhere and having never done anything like that before, he leans over and just kisses me on the mouth all attempted passion.

I was, ... rather taken aback.

I mumbled something about not being ready for that because I didn't know what else to say. Then everything was awkward, but after a bit he cheered up and I thought everything was okay.

After another bus ride we get to the show and there is James, whom I was quite deeply in love with, in line with his buddies. We were separated at the time, and he had made it very clear that wasn't changing but when he sees me with my friend he decides he is going to be charming and territorial. Trying to get me to kiss him on the cheek, which I knew he would just turn his face when I did so it ended on the mouth. I refused and my friend seemed to take it as a sign that I was being all clear about being with him, so gets all more cheerful and puts his arm around me. And I let him to spite James.

Of course we get in and who is there? The guy I was trying to hook up with (and eventually did, and nearly fell in love with until I found out I was his other woman. Different story)

So yeah. Guy I am in love with, guy that thinks I am with him and guy I want to fuck are all taking turns vying for my attention and I spent the night trying to avoid all damn three, outside away from the music mostly, and completely miserable.

In the end I exchanged numbers with the one guy, left my friend pouting on the steps watching as I went home with James.

I sort of was on the other side of that, Amber. I went out with this guy - no place romantic, just drinks, and we kissed at the end, then hung out a few more times, kissing etc and I only found out after a few weeks that that wasn't 'being together', we were just 'hanging out'*.

*The fact that we slept together a couple of times the following year is irrelevant :D

But the cutest date I've had must be when I first met Alex, it was morning-ish because I used to work afternoons back then, we went to the shopping mall, had a drink, then ended up in a bookstore browsing those huge albums (?) with the Universe for a few hours.

On one of my last dates as a single man, i'd met this pretty girl on a dating site. Our first date was drinks at Chili's or something like that. This was in my post-pickup artist days. I didn't really use it anymore, just worked at being real and present, no funny stuff. When i met her in person, she was as tall as me if not taller (i'm 6'1") and had this long black hair and was dressed really elegantly and hip. We had margaritas and talked the whole time, it was a fun time. There was a lot of laughing and touching my knee on her part so i knew she was interested and attracted. At that point, i only had to not screw up.

She invited me back to her place for more drinks but i was the only one at the house that week because everyone else was out of town so i had to check on the dogs and cats, as they'd been 8 hours without using the bathroom. Oh well, i'd walk her to her car and we'd meet another time. But i was really attracted to her and she was likely the same. So we're standing at her car and she's talking non-stop and this was the "new me" so i told her to shut up and i kissed her in the parking lot.

Then we parted ways and i went home and checked the animals but it only took a minute and i was sitting there bored at 7:30pm. Plenty of time. I called her back and told her i wanted to hang out some more and maybe watch a movie or something. On my way back to her place, she called me and asked what i wanted to drink and i knew then how the night would turn out.

At her place we talked some more and watched a movie and then i went for it, even though earlier on her couch she said "you're not getting any of this" but i knew she didn't mean it and she was just saying it so i wouldn't think she was a slut, which i didn't of course.

Long story short,a gentleman never kisses and tells but i did three walks of shame before things fizzled out because she had kids and i wasn't about being a dad to someone else's kids. But it was a cool experience all around.

My preconceived notions about women and my understanding of them changed. Being a pickup artist brought them down to my level, not to sound disrespectful. Then i just became so comfortable with myself and my accomplishments that i didn't need to "run game" anymore, it was easy enough to just start a conversation with a girl. For the most part. I had my hiccups here and there but talking to women and being around them became a lot easier and a lot more fun.

Yesterday was the first day we went without texting each other. I thought it best not to over think it. She told me she was going to hang out with a friend Friday night. I am wondering whether I should text her before work today, asking her how it was (that might be too clingy of a question) or maybe just say "Have a good day at work. See you when you get off." Or something.

"Looking forward to it"? What happened to the me from last week? A small part of me will always believe in astrology and cycles because of weird stuff like this. Why is it so different from last week?

I'd say that keeping it casual is your best bet at this point, Mike.
You're hanging out tomorrow, right? Let the physical meeting set the bar for how you feel. That's going to give you a lot more about her than any texts will.

I guess I did imply that. Hehe
Nah, just be confident in your texts, is all. Not too questioning of motives.
She probably still thinks you're a sixty-year-old fat guy right now. Unless you've spoken over the phone. In either case, be confident in your interactions.

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