but that didn’t happen. and she moved to Chicago and the tabs on the car expired and I got pulled over by a police officer and got a warning

(and I got a ticket too, because I hadn’t realized it, but my license had expired threedays prior, on my birthday.)

I told the officer I was trying to get the car registered, but I was having trouble getting the title sorted out

so he told me to go to the department of licensing and buy a trippass

it is $30 to drive for threedays

so I did

so I sent the original owner an email I told her I didn’t need the title, just a signed loss of title form she sent me a PDF of the form with her signature in the email but it wasn’t notarized, so it was useless; the department of licensing wouldn’t accept it.

so I called the original owner, because now I had her phonenumber and I told her I’d be more than happy to pay her for her trouble and cover any costs of sending the form or getting it notarized and she said I didn’t need to, she could send it …but she didn’t. I called her back and called her back

and called her back and called her back

and called her back and called her back

and called her back and called her back

for about two weeks

and I left lots of messages

but she didn’t answer or return my calls.

so I went to the department of licensing they told me I could start an ownership in doubt process this involves sending a letter to the registered owner — at their registered address on the title — with a loss of title form asking them to sign it

1) You have to send the letter via certified mail.2) Then when you get it back you take the UNOPENED LETTER to the state patrol.3) Then they will issue you a temporary three-year registration.4) After three years, if there has been no further debate about the ownership of the car, they will give you a title.

but, they said, “you can’t really start that process: the car has a lien on it, so technically, she didn’t own the car — her bank partly owned it — when she sold it to you. you could call the bank and see how much the lien is”

so I called the bank

and I got put on hold

but they wouldn’t tell me anything. Apparently a

Lien Amount

is

Privileged Information.

so I asked for a supervisor.

and I got put on hold

I told her how I had bought the car, but the original owner wasn’t getting back to me, and I couldn’t register it but she wouldn’t tell me anything.

and I got put on hold

I told her I didn’t know how to get the car properly registered that there’s nothing I can do, if they wouldn’t help me, I would lose my car. And I started crying

and I got put on hold

and she told me that the lien had been paid off.

so I went back to the department of licensing and I said, “the lien is paid off! the bank shouldn’t even be listed on the title anymore.” but they told me they couldn’t take the bank off themselves and they couldn’t call the bank to ask them, either the bank had to notify them, themselves

so I called the bank

I said, okay, you have no interest in this car, as I understand it, so can you just call the department of licensing and tell them that?

and I got put on hold

and they said no, we can’t do that, our client has to do that and I said, but your client won’t do that, she isn’t doing anything she promised she’d give me the title or send a loss of title form, but she hasn’t, and she’s not answering my phone calls anymore. and they said no, we can’t do anything

so I asked for a Supervisor. I told Will,

who was the person that I talked to, and whose name I remember because he was nice, and tried to help me,

that I don’t have a driveway, and if I leave the car on the streets in Seattle, the city will tow it. At the owner’s expense or maybe at yours, since you are still listed as part-owners of the car and meanwhile I will lose my car but he told me his hands were tied. I told them I was going to lose my car

and I started crying

so I asked to speak to his Supervisor and he said, “there’s no one above me, this comes from our legal department.”

so I hung up

and felt totally hopeless

until he called me back ten minutes later he told me he’d discussed it with legal that the lien had been paid off for years

and they’d have someone contact the department of licensing within five days

and get their name taken off the title so I was happy. It only took me six hours on the phone just to get them to agree to tell the department of licensing that they don’t own a car that they don’t own

so I went to the department of licensing and got a loss of title form and got all the instructions I needed and I put the form in an envelope and I took it to the post office and I sent it certified mail and they said, “It’ll take about two weeks to get back to you” and I said okay and waited but it didn’t come back in twoweeks, or in three, or in four and I had a trackingnumber to look it up online but all that told me was that it was still in Renton fucking Renton

so I called the Rentonpost office but they said they didn’t have it

but maybe it went back to Seattle

so I called the Seattlepost office but they said they didn’t have it

but maybe it was up at my Ballardannex

so I drove to the Ballardannex and said, if it’s not anywhere else, it must be here, right? but they couldn’t find it.

so they called Renton. and they called Seattle. and they told me the letter was lost, but I should give it another fewdays because sometimes these things come back

but I am still paying $30 for a goddamn trip pass every single time I want to drive my car somewhere so I couldn’t just wait for a lost thing to be found

so I went to the Greenwoodpost office the next day and I said, “how can I send something MORE SECURELY than certified mail, but also via certified mail, so it actually gets where it’s going?” I told Sonja,

whose name I remember because she works at the Greenwood post office and because she was nice to me and was very upset on my behalf,

that I needed to send a second letter since they’d lost my first

but she insisted that she wanted to check on my first letter just in case

so she looked up the tracking number and found that it had been tracked in Seattlethat very day and said it was probably coming back to me. so I said okay and went home. but it didn’t come back to me and it’s been two weeks

so I went back to the Greenwoodpost officetoday and I said, “this certified letter I sent a month and a half ago was lost and then found, but I still haven’t gotten it back”

and the woman who was working there this morning

whose name I don’t remember because she didn’t even seem to know what certified mail was

told me she couldn’t help me, but I should check at the Ballard annex again

so I drove to the Ballard annex again and I saw Leanne,

whose name I remembered from the first time because she had been nice to me and she had called around for me

and she said it was lost again, and it was hard to track what went on at the processing plant and I started crying so she called the processing plant anyway just in case they could find it but they didn’t

so I went back to the Greenwoodpost office and Sonja was working, thank god and I told her I needed to send a second certified letter and I was hoping she would comp me at least the cost of that, considering I have paid $240 on trip passes during the month and a half I was waiting for this out of a total of about $500 since the tabs expired and we started this whole process and she said yes, we can totally cover the $6 to send this second letter certified mail for you considering that we lost your first one and therefore did not deliver that service to you

now I just have to wait two weeks or another month and a half or however long they feel like making me wait and hope they haven’t mangled my second letter because if it’s opened, it doesn’t count and then I can make a vehicle inspection appointment at the state patrol office which has a six-week waiting period and then they can give me a temporary registration or else tell me I did something wrong so I have to redo it so I can wait another two weeks (for my certified letter) and then another six weeks (for a vehicle inspection) and then I can wait three years to get the title for the car that we got almost a year ago

or if I’m really lucky I have to wait just another forty-eight hours or so til the men in white coats come to take me away in a windowless van that I don’t have to register.