Straight Talk in a Crooked World

Festivus 2012!

This December 23rd, as people wrap the latest versions of iPads and iPods and iRobots and Nooks and Kindles and other technological must-haves that might invalidate in-person communication and contact permanently, I bid everyone a happy Festivus.

There are three main elements to Festivus. First, you must display a bare aluminum pole– no decorations. Second, during dinner, which usually includes meatloaf, the Airing of Grievances occurs. This is when you tell friends and family how much they’ve disappointed you over the past year.

The third element is Feats of Strength, which typically means wrestling. In some Festivus traditions, the holiday is officially over when the head of the household is pinned. Some Festivus parties also include a Festivus fruitcake.

My Festivus pole is pictured above. A crafty coworker and I made it. If you wish to delve into the silliness of this widely celebrated bonus holiday that is partially a statement against the gimme, gimme, gimme aspect of Christmas, here are some handy tools.

Wow, it’s getting close to evening here on the West Coast and I have yet to get my grievance forms out. Happy Festivus people, and don’t underestimate the strength of a wrestling challenger who’s been ticked off all year about you regifting that malfunctioning executive dartboard set.