John Dies at the End

John Dies at the End STOP You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands NO don t put it down It s too late They re watching you My name is David Wong My best friend is John Those names are fake You might wa

Title: John Dies at the End

Author: David Wong

ISBN: null

Page: 163

Format: None

STOP You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands NO, don t put it down It s too late They re watching you My name is David Wong My best friend is John Those names are fake You might want to change yours You may not want to know about the things you ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future But it s tSTOP You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands NO, don t put it down It s too late They re watching you My name is David Wong My best friend is John Those names are fake You might want to change yours You may not want to know about the things you ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future But it s too late You touched the book You re in the game You re under the eye The only defense is knowledge You need to read this book, to the end Even the part with the bratwurst Why You just have to trust me.The important thing is this The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension John and I never had the chance to say no You still do I m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind None of this was my fault.

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VERY HIPVERY BIZARROVERY CREEPYAND VERY, VERY (EVEN BRILLIANTLY) FUNNYIN A CRUDE, JUVENILE WAYI read a lot I read everyday and go through a number of books every week. Reading as much as I do, I get a real jolly on when I come across a book like this because it is so different from the usual fare. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the book, but the phrase that seems most apt is "brilliantly stupid"…with "surreal,” "incredibly funny" and "dude that’s gross" close behind. "Something com [...]

Put this book down and go read Wong's work at cracked, particularly his piece "6 Things Rich People Need to Stop Saying," a brilliant piece of humor, psychology and economics. cracked/blog/6-things-Back toJohn Dies.Yes, like the book blurb says, in some ways it resembles The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy--it's that strange blend of humor that occurs partially because of stacking two incongruencies in a slice of bread and calling it a sandwich. The heroes are similar and somehwhat unlikeable; [...]

this is possibly the worst published book i have ever read. i'm sad to admit it was my ex-boyfriend's favorite book, so i read it to placate him. it took me all of about five minutes to get sick of the author's trite internet-meme-style wannabe-funny bullshit, which is sad because i believe he is the editor of cracked (where the writing, though sub-par at times, at least typically makes sense and is somewhat enjoyable to read). at first i thought i wasn't reading it closely enough to follow the [...]

This book is not for everyone but it is certainly for me.We all know that I have the sense of humor of a twelve year-old boy. I can't help it. Just yesterday my manager was talking to my coworkers and I about her new job at Whole Foods, explaining what she would be doing (which is working behind the specialty cheese counter) and she spoke this little gem that slipped passed everyone's attention but mine: ".cally I'll be cutting the cheese all day." I slapped my hand to my mouth and trying to hid [...]

Have you ever played that game when one person starts a story and then another person takes it over, and then another, and thenuntil the story gets to where you can't even remember how it started? John Dies at the End is a little bit like that game.Now picture Howard Philip Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard playing this game around a campfire after a crazy party. Now picture Howard Philip Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard smoking pot and drinking cheap booze as they play the game. And then they are jo [...]

This book is about shit. And insects. And humanity.A peculiar combination, you may think? I agree. But this is a great story that may not have worked in the hands of any other author.My most amazing cousin Danielle has been asking me to read this book for about a year now, and I'm really glad I finally picked it up. It's packed with meat monsters, immortal dogs, & exploding eyeballs with a fake Jamaican cherry on top!While all these aspects make for some top-level ridiculousness, I think it' [...]

Juvenile humor was only a feature of this novel, not a bug. There were plenty of bugs, tho. That being said, it was a light-hearted frolic in the woods of shit-narnia, and I felt like getting a tattoo of the Pi symbol on my toe. Strangely enough, I agreed with the idea of the last dead guy that first-person shooter games are training us for something but I just can't figure out what it was better game-playing? That's probably it. This is a Fun Book, ya'll, even if I was expecting something SCARY [...]

This was a buddy read with Chelsea!An awesome 4.5 stars! If you like horror comedy, can handle things that aren't entirely PC all the time (but not entirely offensive, either; nothing seriously bothered me and I like to think I'm pretty damn woke), you're into things that are bizarre and gross and over the top, and you don't mind having an existential crisis then this is a book I'll recommend!The story did drag for some time but I never found myself bored, because some new super gripping and utt [...]

“The man-shaped arrangement of meat rose up, as if functioning as one body. It pushed itself up on two arms made of game hens and country bacon, planting two hands with sausage-link fingers on the floor. The phrase “sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist” suddenly flew through my mind. Finally it stood fully upright, looking like the mascot for a butcher shop whose profits went entirely to support the owner’s acid habit.”The above quote from the prologue sets the tone very nicely for Joh [...]

**MILD SPOILERS IN THE FORM OF DIRECT QUOTES WHICH DON'T REALLY TELL YOU ANYTHING ABOUT THE STORY**5 REASONS THIS MAY BE THE BEST BOOK YOU'LL EVER READ#5. It's Literally Lough-Out-Loud FunnyI know it's not generally cool to slag off other people's book reviews. It's their subjective opinion, they're entitled, freedom of speech, blahdy blahdy blah. But the number of GR reviews for this book which contain the words "juvenile humour" and then proceed to dismiss the book's worth on that basis is jus [...]

2.5So Um Well, that was, erm, something all right So I suppose I should start off by saying it's not quite what I was expecting but, of course, the logical follow-up to that would be "well, what were you expecting?", and I'd have to say "I'm not really sure. But that wasn't it."But I think one thing I was expecting was a different kind of humor. Maybe something more along the lines of A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore, or even 'Army of Darkness' with Bruce Campbell.Not to say it didn't have humor [...]

"This stopped me. The cops called us? What, they got a ghost they want us to check out? Like we're fucking Scooby-Doo?"Premise: David Wong and his friend John are kind of ghost-busters, they see things that others can't. This is because of a drug that they have consumed which is named soya-sauce for the lack of a better name and it does look a bit like that (apparently). I liked it at the start. I really did. The jokes, the way the horror and humor were combined made me keep on turning the pages [...]

5 StarsThis is a blast of a bizzaro piece of weird fiction. It is a blend of horror, new weird and psychological madness. David Wong is the name of the author, the name of the narrator, and the name of the main protagonist too (Not necessarily all the same!!!). This read is not for the faint of heart, nor is it intended for those that like things spelled out for them all nice and clear, and then drawn up with nothing but straight lines. The weirdness of this book can be challenging to read and t [...]

(WARNING: The following is not a well-balanced, conscientious review.)John Dies at the End dies before it even reaches the first chapter.The story - such as it is - revolves around the typical gross-out paranormal-type activity that made Kevin Smith's "Dogma" such a success (think "It's a shit monster!" and you've pretty much got the idea of what seems to have inspired this book). Within the first 20 pages, the reader is witness to blood, copious amounts of excrement, a flaccid - and gratuitous [...]

Simply put, I have never laughed harder at a horror book. This is less an attempt by "Wong" to write horror so much as it is for him to hone his humor chops on a genre that's been whipped to death by too much seriousness. It's appropriately gross, rolls out misadventure after misadventure, and ultimately satisfies on multiple levels. If you're into horror, you'll likely find it pretty smart. If you're into comedy, this on has great edge throughout. I don't know if I'd recommend it to anyone who [...]

JOHN DIES AT THE END, by David Wong is a book that genuinely has me at a loss for words! There's no question that this classifies as "bizarro" fiction, but other than that . . . I found it quite different (in a good way) in the beginning, especially. The only real complaint I had was that it seemed some scenes went on unnecessarily long. (This was more evident in the second half of the novel). A very original work, but one that defies--at least MY--attempts at a comprehensive review.

Bullet Review:Bleh. I tried and I tried and I tried to like this disgusting, gory, weird little book, and it just isn't happening. I'm sure there's an audience for this type of book, but it sure as hell ain't me. And, as I've said before, life's too short to be wasted on books I'm not liking.Full Review:I have to write a review for this? Really? And a plot summary? How do I even begin to sort through the batsh!t weird that happens in this book into a cohesive, comprehensive summary? Do I even re [...]

Don't let the spoilerish title fool you John Dies At The End is full of surprises! Life is full of millions of choices. And while some are instantly recognized as "life-choices" (like getting married or picking a career path), others are deceptively innocent. But even the smallest of choices can have huge consequences. That's the hard lesson David Wong learned when he decided to challenge a hack street-magician at a concert. Had Wong simply rolled his eyes and kept walking, his life may not have [...]

"There's nothing new under the sun."If you're an insecure creative person, you'll hear this phrase quite often. Friends will try to build you up, because there's no easy (or friendly) way for them to say, "Maybe storytelling isn't for you, you know? Perhaps take up model-building or lint-collecting?" I used to agree with "There's nothing new under the sun." Really, I did. Hell, I'm even guilty of uttering it once or a dozen-hundred times. The truth is, that sentence is bullshit. "There's nothing [...]

If Harold and Kumar swapped some DNA with The Ghostbusters and were birthed by Hunter S. Thompson on a Hitchhiker's Guide through the galaxy, you might end up with something kind of close to John Dies at the End. I had ZERO expectations going in to this book. I knew nothing except what I read on the book jacket and the fact that Wil Wheaton didn't think it sucked. I ended up on a full throttle, high octane, wild, grotesque, hilarious, vulgar, long, strange journey and I'm so glad I did.

The last quarter of this book deserves 4 stars, the first three quarters deserve 2.Firstly, the dialogue in this book (and sometimes the internal monologue) is very wry and generally hilarious. Easily its best quality, and kept me reading past the slow parts. Unfortunately, the dialogue is often eclipsed by TONS of gruesome and gory visual descriptions, and though they are perfectly tolerable at first they do drag on after a while. After the 50th or 60th person whose entrails explode into a rain [...]

"'And, well, that's my story,' I said. 'I'm sorry that it's so, you know. Retarded.'" -- David Wong, "John Dies at the End""John Dies at the End," originally published on the Internet, then self-published in book form by David Wong, and apparently being republished in September by St. Martin's Press, is kind of like "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies," but with five fewer Bennet sisters and six dozen more dick jokes. While "John" predates "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" by several years, it lack [...]

Amazing, David Wong has created a fantastic book for the open minded. After reading it I then went out and got the Audible version so I could listen to it again on the way to work. The characters were original and engrossing. The story is a unique breath of fresh air that will make you say "WTF?!?!?" consistently as the plot progresses. If your in to seamless progression then this book will not appeal to you. If jumps, twists and turns in the air. Just when you think you have a handle on where t [...]

There are few books that can cause me to laugh out loud in one paragraph, and later in the same chapter have me cringing in real fear or disgust. This book accomplished all of this and more.John Dies at the End is not a literary masterpiece. Its plot has flaws. It needs some real face time with a legitimate editor - or at least someone likely to catch the numerous typos, misspellings and punctuation errors. The humor is abrupt and sophomoric.But despite all that, this book is fun. It is thorough [...]

I couldn't wait to get my hands on this; word-of-mouth promised a heady, hilarious horror romp. Unfortunately, it did not live up to the hype for me. Think Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure meets Ghostbusters (or depending on your frame of reference, maybe “Ghostfacers” a la Supernatural), with Lovecraftian-style monsters, a twist of Rod Serling and a dash of psychotropic drugs to really mess you up. Sounds promising, no? Brilliantly mad? Genius even? The only problem is it falls way shor [...]

HILARIOUS is probably the best word to describe this book. It actually had me laughing out loud at times because it is so bizarre. The narration is funny and at times will even acknowledge how effed up the scene is- basically saying "I can't actually think how to describe this so just imagine something weird." The entire time I was reading this, the story felt very simple and as straight forward as such a wacky story can be. When I reached the end I realised just how clever it actually was, ever [...]

I finished this book a couple of nights ago. As a side note I'm almost halfway through a book titled The Rook. Reading these books back to back, I've got to ask I the only person left in the world who doesn't use the great English "f" word (f**k) as a common part of my vocabulary?Oh wellon to the review.Over all I like this book and I think it's well written. I can partially agree with another reader who said that they "laughed out loud". On occasion I did to. I'll be giving a sort of "good/bad" [...]

Terrible. Positively dreadful. The entire time I read it, with its typos and its tiny font (which means the book is probably a good fifty pages longer than it actually is), unwieldy plot and more uses of the word "retarded" than a book actually ABOUT retarded people I had a hunch something was amiss. After finishing it, I find it out it was started as a web serial and was originally self-published. It makes perfect sense, because clearly no editor's eyes have ever been laid on this piece of shit [...]

This book was on a list from which I pull many of my reading selections. Every time I noticed this title on that list, there was always a brief pause while I speculated about it. Is John the main character? Does he in fact die at the end of the book, or at the end of something else? Is it a physical death, a metaphorical death, or a spiritual death? Is it a complete lie? I had many, many other theories, but I knew absolutely nothing about the book itself. When the Kindle edition went on sale a m [...]