Monday, June 13, 2011

Hommer.wmv

My friend passed away recently. His will said I was to get his journal. Most of it ended up being sketches he did for The New Yorker, but the last two pages were about a video he once saw called Hommer.wmv. Most of those pages described what happened in the video.

"April 19;

I downloaded a video called Hommer.wmv today. It had a few errors, but I managed to fix them. The episode started with a logo that looked like something from The Simpsons. It was badly drawn, too. The clouds were jagged and had straight edges. The logo itself said 'Hommer Simpson' in purple and black text. The latter half of the Simpsons title theme started, but ended up cutting off.

After the intro, it showed the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. The outside was busy as always. After a few seconds, it cut to Mr. Burns and Smithers, with Burns sitting at his desk. They were watching Homer, who was being lazy, through the security cameras. Homer was staring at a donut-shaped button. After some time of this, Mr. Burns spoke. 'Who's that man staring at the button?' Smithers replied with, 'That's Mr. Simpson, sir.' The camera went to a close-up of Burns saying, 'Homer, you're fired.' I thought it was a bit out-of-character, but I decided to think about it later.

It cut to the Simpson's house, then to Lisa's door. Sounds of a saxphone being played came from inside the room. Homer stood in front of the door while thinking, 'Lisa, stop playing the saxophone. It's too loud!' He showed realistic feelings of anger and sadness.

It suddenly cut to the Simpsons sitting at the kitchen table. A pig head was positioned in the middle of the table. Homer, with some anger, said, 'Marge, where is my beer?' Lisa was arguing with Marge, saying, 'I don't want to eat pig!' Marge replied with, 'Then you can have some cold soup!' While Marge began pouring the cold soup, she said, 'Homer, Bart got bad grades at school.' Homer said, with an angry tone, 'Bart, you're my son. Why did you get bad grades at school?' Bart replied with, 'Eat my shorts.' Homer almost strangled his son before saying, 'Bart, I hate you.'

It cut to Homer crying in his room. The sobs sounded realistic. There was a knock at the door, followed by Bart's voice. 'Hey Homer, when are you going to Moe's?' Homer looked up and replied, 'Soon.'

After this, the file is too corrupt to continue. I'll need to fix it more later."

The second page is incomplete.

"April 20;

I watched Hommer.wmv again today. Oddly, it started where I left off. Bart was, like usual, prank-calling Moe's tavern. When the phone was picked up, Bart said, 'Is Hommer there? Hommer Simp-' Moe cut him off. 'Listen, you. Stop prank-calling me. Hommer is not here!' In a twist of fate, Homer entered Moe's tavern. He thought something, but all the words were reversed. I reversed them later and it turns out Homer said, 'I wish I could have a donue with Lenny and Carl. They hate me now.' After a few seconds, Moe finally said, 'I'll get you drunk. Where's the money?' Homer shook his head and replied with, 'I just want food." Moe's mouth began moving as if he was saying something, but the sound of his voice was muted. Eventually, Homer picked up the TV remote and turned on the TV. It turned on to show Krusty the Clown just as he pointed a gun at his head. The channel changed, but the scene changed so fast I couldn't tell what the next channel was. Homer was now in Maggie's Room. After a couple of minutes with the sound of buzzing flies, it showed Maggie in her crib. She had apparently died. Blandly, Homer said, 'DOH! Maggie died in her sleep.' Afterward, the file ended."

I watched Hommer.wmv after reading the last two pages of the journal. The description was...overexaggerated, to say the least.