04 May, 2011

Note To Self: Alexandra Benedict Makes You Crazy

Do you ever find yourself unable to recall if you really like an author or really hate them? (Maybe it's me) I used to stand in the bookstore staring at books trying to remember how I felt about the author. Too Dangerous To Desire is another find at the bottom of the bag. I bought this in July of 2008 and set it aside.

Turns out I seriously dislike Alexandra Benedict. (I hope I don't have too much of her backlist floating about.) First of all, our characters are named Adam and Eve. No, really. Nuh-uh, not kidding. Ok, so we meet Adam when he is returning from his honeymoon to play My Brother's Keeper for his older sibling. I think the brother is yet another duke. (Let's just assume he is, ok?) Right, so pirates, then big storm, then crack of thunder, then wife dead on the bottom of the ocean as he floats helplessly away. Next time we meet Adam he's rescuing Eve, who is throwing herself naked off a cliff. She doesn't hit any rocks, but somehow in the time it takes Adam to reach her is already out cold. (We'll give them that, maybe the author is landlocked.)

Adam is all I Will Save You, and takes her home where he dresses her in his dead wife's clothes because he still has them. (Wait - why does he still have them? Why were they kept when Adam and his wife were presumed dead?) We learn that after Adam's wife died he lost his memory (as you do) and spent an extended period of time (years?) with amnesia before a crack of thunder restored his reason. Or something. I don't know if reason is the right word because Adam takes off for his brother's home, breaks in and decides to murder him. In Adam's mind it's not HIS fault for leaving his honeymoon or his mother's fault for calling him home to be the boss of his brother, it's his brother's fault for being a screw up in the first place. So he must die. (Here I feel for the Duke. Not enough to have a saintly younger brother always up in your face about something, the guy has to blame you for his problems too.) Right, so Adam breaks in, the Duke tosses his own female (wife?) out on the balcony, and faces the presumed dead Adam down.

Adam is going to shoot the woman, changes his mind, then stabs the Duke who doesn't defend himself at all. Adam asks why and the Duke says "Because I love you." I guess in their family love means having to let yourself be murdered. Adam is shocked to his senses and runs away to live on the edge of a cliff for years, where his mom sends him chatty family letters. (You know, as you do when your younger son tries to kill the elder.) Next up is Eve. Some dude is chasing her and while she'd like to kill herself to get away from him she still maintains enough composure to offer to sew Adam some curtains, then cleans his place up like Snow White on a cocaine high. There is also a mysterious and probably dead sister somehow. We're up to chapter two I think. Before I progressed to chapter three I decided to look back at my old reviews.

In August of 2007 I read Too Scandalous To Wed and absolutely loathed it. I actually can't believe I forgot about it. Looking back at my review I instantly recalled the book in detail. I suppose the positive aspect of this cautionary tale is that I no longer feel compelled to finish Too Dangerous To Desire in hopes of it improving. Maybe this time I've learned my lesson. Maybe not. I can be pretty dense.

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Items reviewed may have been received for free from the publisher or author via Amazon, NetGalley or other means. Meoskop spends a ridiculous amount on books as well, but no assumption of purchase by Meoskop should be made about any item reviewed by her.