How Is THIS the Ugliest Sweater in All of New York?

We’ve seen some ugly sweaters in our time. We’ve also seen some ugly sweaters on the Internet, specifically on the Tumblr dedicated to ugly sweaters. There are some very heinous wool knits in this world, and we just can’t pretend they don’t exist just because they aren’t pretty.

So when The Flatiron/23rd Street Partnership held a contest this afternoon to find the “ugliest holiday sweater in New York,” we were like, “Finally, some awareness brought to this issue!”

Except that New Yorkers are horrible at finding clothes that are unflattering, apparently, because take a look at this year’s winner:
Sorry, 20-year-old Long Island resident John Friia, that is not even close to the ugliest sweater! It’s not the best sweater, but it fits and isn’t weird looking at all! It’s like you barely tried. Maybe you just wore that sweater to work today and decided to give it a shot.

What’s sad is that yours is not even the ugliest sweater on stage! We have to give it to the guy laughing off to the left…you know, this guy: