Green

My favorite color has always been green. One day when I was a kid, my mom saw me sitting on the curb. She came outside to ask me what I was doing and noticed a lizard warming itself on the sidewalk next to me. It was surrounded by a rainbow of M&M’s. I’d tried feeding the lizard all the different colors and I couldn’t believe he wasn’t interested in the candy. “He doesn’t even like the green ones!” I said, convinced green tasted better than the other colors.

My love for the color was a well known fact by the time I got to kindergarten. My favorite outfit was an all green dress. I had a green bedspread, a green radio, and Patio Green was my favorite Rainbow Brite character. During a spring road trip to visit my grandparents in the hill country, my mom questioned why green was my favorite color. I was confident in my answer – “because it’s God’s favorite color!” She asked me how I knew that and I replied “just look around, everything is green!”

This week I traveled to Colorado for work and despite some cold weather over the weekend, spring has started to turn the landscape green. Last night, I had some time to explore and I found myself driving toward the Rocky Mountains drawn by their majestic peaks reaching up to the clouds. The sun peeked through the thick clouds and small beams of light stretched down onto the mountains and valleys below. As I was driving, I wished for a good place to pull over so I could take in the view. Within seconds, I drove past a sign indicating a scenic overlook at the very next exit. I pulled my rental car into the parking area and walked over to a park bench. It was a breathtaking view and I could feel my heart start to beat harder in my chest as tears filled my eyes. Have you ever had moments like that? When you’re overwhelmed with the beauty of the world we live in? It makes you feel so connected with the earth and so small at the same time. I reached for my phone to snap a picture, wishing I had brought a better camera with me to better capture the moment that filled me with so much emotion. In that moment, I noticed a man to my right setting up his camera on a tripod. I asked him if he’d be willing to share one of his photos with me. He said he’d be happy to email me one and I explained how I had stumbled upon this overlook. He told me that he’d found that location by using an app called “The Photographer’s Ephemeris” which shows you on a Google map the locations that the sun and moon will rise and set with respective times. It’s amazing to me that the path of the sun and moon drew this photographer to the exact location I was emotionally drawn to.

God doesn’t make mistakes. Everything we go through is a part of His big plan. Of course, we have the ability to make our own decisions, but they become part of a bigger picture. One of my favorite movies, Serendipity, describes this far more eloquently than I ever could with these words “…life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences…but rather, it’s a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.” We are all God’s masterpieces. Every person we meet and every experience we have shapes us into the person we were destined to be. Just as water dug the depths of the Grand Canyon, life carves us into the masterpiece of God.

My little angel would have been born in August of this year. For those of you who don’t know, the birthstone for the month of August is peridot which is a light green stone. Now I wear a small peridot charm on a necklace every day to remind me that God didn’t make a mistake. He put that baby in my life for a reason and he’s shaping me into a person I wouldn’t have become without having this pregnancy and loss. A loss so painful at times, it takes my breath away and tears instantly form in my eyes. But just like the green of spring, God brings the promise of new beginnings.

“My friends, consider yourselves fortunate when all kinds of trials come your way, for you know that when your faith succeeds in facing such trials, the result is the ability to endure. Make sure that your endurance carries you all the way without failing, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 11:19

Hi, I'm Teri! I'm the creator of Baby Bumps in the Road blog. I'm a wife, stepmom, dog mom and mother to an angel baby with a precious rainbow baby on the way. In mid-January 2017, we found out we'd lost our first baby at 11 weeks and it was later diagnosed as a partial molar pregnancy. I've spent the last year months grieving my child, having my hCG levels monitored, trying to put myself back together emotionally and physically, and preparing for a second chance at motherhood. We found out in October that we are expecting our 2nd baby in July 2018. I couldn't be more excited to be on this pregnancy journey again - even though it's been a bumpy one!
My wish for this blog is to share my experience with others and have a place to talk freely about both of my babies. I hope this blog helps comfort those experiencing a loss and proves that something beautiful can rise from the ashes. Thanks for visiting, and please connect with me on Instagram (@babybumpsintheroad)!