11/9/12

Mid-Life Crisis Bad Dream?

It
was me and him and another woman. I didn’t
know her very well and my mind and heart got really bad vibes from her (including
the vibe that she’d fake it and lie to get what she wanted; personality traits
that I pretty much despise), but what could I do? I sure wouldn’t choose to hang out with her
one on one, but he apparently liked hanging out with the both of us, and I really
liked him (probably way too much), so I went along with it.

It
reached a point at which I was supposed to guess the other woman’s age. He & I were of similar ages (38/40), so I assumed she was too, but I’m not good at guessing age based on
looks. She looked young; she looked
attractive; I figured she might be a little younger than him & me; maybe
35-ish; so I decided to guess a few years younger, just in case. I guessed 33.

She
spurted out a playful sounding laugh and at first I thought it was based on her
feeling delighted that I thought she looked younger than she actually was. I
was wrong.

I’m
23, she said in an annoyed voice.

Then I was annoyed at him for being so into a woman who was way more than ten
years younger than both of us. Really!?!
I blurted out, in semi-disbelief. Next thing I knew they were both glaring
at me. A 38 year old man who I thought
had felt very strongly about me personally – and a 23 year old woman I couldn’t relate to
at all, but whom he also seemed to feel strongly about. I did not understand
their connection and so I sort of freaked out, thinking he would try to work me
out of my freak out and tell her to tone down her rude laughter. “Should I just leave?” I asked. “Do you want it to be you and the 23 year
old?” I was sure he’d say know and try
to calm me down. Instead he looked at me with an unsmiling expression and glared
out, ‘Yeah’. A feeling of
semi-devastated disbelief came over me then.

Me:
Really?!?

Him:
Yeah.

Me:
Are you serious?!?

Him:
YEAH!

Her:
You heard him. Get the hell out of here.

Rude, mean, gleeful smile.

***

Not
a fun dream at all, since it involved real people and felt realistic - and even
though the ending really surprised me, that surprise ending felt unfortunately
realistic too.

When
a relationship oriented ending surprises you.

When
a man you thought felt truly strongly about you suddenly changes his mind - and then chooses to replace
you with a woman way younger than either of you – a woman from whom you can
clearly sense the vibe of fake chick who will say and do what she thinks he wants
to hear, in order to take him away from you and he can’t sense her fakery.

When
a bad dream combines age and relationship issues and causes you to make up feeling
as if your looks and your personality and your life experience has no appeal
and doesn’t really matter.

When
you’ve become easy to replace with an uncaring mean chick almost 20 years
younger than you.

When
a pretty mean chick who laughs in your face when you lose is the one he
chooses.