BOSTON — In the aftermath, following my 15 rounds with the “Norm Burger” — the one-pound monstrosity served at Cheers – I regaled some Celtics writers with tales of this feud, when one scribe deadpanned: “In the morning, you’re gonna look like Kirstie Alley.”

Indeed, this was the biggest burger I’d ever attempted to eat, and the once sultry Alley now looks like she ate George Wendt.

But before we get into the blow-by-blow about my lunch/dinner/breakfast-the-next-day, may I take a moment to declare that the TV’s Cheers is one of the greatest sitcoms of all time — along with Seinfeld, 30 Rock, The Dick Van Dyke Show, All In The Family, The Office (with Michael Scott) and The Office (with David Brent).

And so, when I stepped into the actual Cheers, it stirred emotions of giddyness and dorkyness in a man who has a framed photo of Sam and Diane in his home (and knows that Paul’s last name was Krapence).

Cheers, actually, isn’t Cheers. It’s the Bull & Finch Pub in Beacon Hill, which opened in 1969 and, according to the Boston Herald’s Steve Bulpett (he of the Kirstie Alley jab), “It was a really great place before the TV show” (at which SI’s Ian Thomsen suggested in jest: “Syndication is killin’ that bar”). Yes, the Bull & Finch was a neighborhood spot with actual Norms and Cliffs, until Benjamins started showing up with their cameras.

Inside the bar, which was officially renamed Cheers in 2002, it does not look like Cheers on the show (sad trombone sound). It’s a sardined bar area with tables and, naturally, a bunch of Boston sports stuff on the walls. Upstairs, past the huuuge photo of the Cheers cast – and past the huuuge gift shop – is a replica Cheers set. However, even THIS doesn’t look like the Cheers on the show – yes, it’s a rectangular bar, but if you walked in, you wouldn’t instantly think you were on the sitcom set. Why, I then must ask, did they spend thousands of dollars to recreate the set when, if anything, it looks more like the Regal Beagle?

To be fair, at least there was a plaque on the bar by the corner stool that read “NORM,” in honor of Wendt’s indelible character Norm Peterson, one of the best one-liner characters this side of Balki Bartokomous.

Bartender: What’s shakin’, Norn?Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins.

Bartender: Hey Mr. Peterson, there’s a cold one waiting for you.Norm: I know. If she calls, I’m not here.

The writing made Cheers; but the actors made the writing. When Cheers was clickin’, it couldn’t be beat, from Woody’s wedding to Eddie LeBec’s funeral to Sam as the rapping sports anchor (“So get your scores from a guy like me, who knows what it’s like to have a groin injury”).

But two moments that stick out are Cliff Clavin on Jeopardy and, as seen below, when Fraiser is labeled as a “good boy.”

Which brings us all the way back to the Norm Burger, my Everest. This thing was two half-pound burgers, topped with Muenster cheese (whatever that is), mushrooms, onion rings, lettuce and tomato, all served on a toasted bun. “It’s a beast,” my waiter told me, followed by the reality that there’s just a 60-percent chance of succeeding, which was also told to me by my prom date.

The Cheers waiter brought the burger out and this thing was as big as my head. I took the onion rings off (to eat separately) and I still, literally, couldn’t fit the burger in my mouth. Was I doomed before the first bell? Was I Spinks against Tyson?

No! I would not go down without a fight. I held this beast from the bottom, like I was a softball pitcher, and started gnawing from the sides, bite by bite (my version of a rope-a-dope). Frankly, the whole process looked pretty gross. And frankly, the burger was just good, not great. But once I had a significant amount of burger erased, I started swinging. Big, hearty bites – this thing was just a snack to me now.

Yes, I got a little winded toward the end (and there was a pivotal burp), but I indeed conquered the Norm Burger, a feat that earned me a spot in the Norm Burger Hall of Fame (which, funny enough, also won’t let in Pete Rose but somehow immortalized Ray Schalk). In the same week I was enshrined, only two other people were enshrined in the NBHOF – Jakob B. Wagner of Soeborg, Denmark, and Nick “Don’t call me George Kostadza” Kostadinov, who hails from Kenosha, WI.

As I was leaving Cheers, the waiter handed me my certificate, which read: “For your discerning fondness of our super-famous ‘Norm Burger’ and your steadfast determination to completely devour this epicurean delight at one sitting.”

I hoisted it in the air, celebrating like the Cheers gang would when they thought they’d defeated Gary’s Olde Town Tavern … not knowing that the joke, soon, would be on them.

Chris Dempsey arrived at The Denver Post in Dec. 2003 after seven years at the Boulder Daily Camera, where he primarily covered the University of Colorado football and men's basketball teams. A University of Colorado-Boulder alumnus, Dempsey covers the Nuggets and also chips in on college sports.