Ireland’s Heat Expected To Be Turned Off Tonight

Reports are emerging today that the nation’s heat will be turned off this evening in another extreme cost saving measure for Budget 2014.

The decision to turn the country’s heat off, will give way to severe changes in the weather, with heavy rain and winds expected also. The “tough decision” to plunge the country into a dark, cold and wet future was finally signed off today by Minister Noonan.

The decision will also mean that Irish people get a more visceral experience of austerity and will be able to feel it in their face when they walk outside later this evening.

Up until now, austerity had only really been affecting people financially – unless they were sick or old – but now it is believed that everyone will be able to share the burden in a more physical fashion.

Wet hair, soaked feet and smelly clothes from the rain will ensure all people are affected in a similarly negative way.

Minister Noonan has said that the decision to turn the nation’s heat off, was also done with those elderly and sick people in mind and says that the horrific weather on route will ensure that those people are forced to stay inside, which will be good for their own recovery and well being.