Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Last week the city of San Francisco
announced the future plans for upgrading the Golden
GateBridge with a
suicide prevention net. Its about time; considering it is the
most popular suicide spot on the planet!

Between 1937 &
2012; over sixteen hundred bodies were pulled out of the bay resulting from
self termination. In just the first six
months of last year 88 people chose
to end their life right there on the bridge.
The 240 foot drop to the water has a 98% kill rate. The announcement of the suicide net went on
to say the "net" will be made of stainless steel mesh and located some 20 feet
below the walkway. The given logic was
that suicidal people want to end it all, not break a few bones in a non-lethal
fall, so they'll go elsewhere. Nice to
know the city prefers to make life harder instead of helping them.
I hope they
will at least fix the suicide hotline phone on the bridge in the upgrade.

Teenagers and young adults under 30 are the most frequent
jumpers; no doubt inspired by depression, despair, disillusionment and
unbearable emotional pain. In a good
many of these cases the lack of coping skills drove people to seek the most
permanent solution to a temporary problem; so they took the leap and became
just another statistic for all who never knew them.

I think we have become "comfortably numb" to
death; what with its daily dominance in the news across the face of our little
blue world. We've had to harden our
hearts more and more just to continue functioning in an increasingly
dysfunctional society. When it comes to
death we tend to avoid thinking about it until we're staring it right in the
eye.

"Its Only Life After
All"
~Indigo Girls~

It's all about LIFE; that which we prize above all else, indeed
that which encompasses all else. Without noticing it we can get complacent and
slip into a mindset that takes life and our participation in it for
granted...that is until a close call on the interstate or some other impacting
event snaps us back into reality.

Just such an event came crashing into my personal reality a
few months ago when my best friend broke the news that his wife has an
aggressive and fast moving cancer.

Ivan & Martha were
literally among the very first people I met upon moving to California
17 years ago. We use the term kismet when speaking of those with whom
we feel exceptionally strong ties that go deeper than just being friends. It's like that with the three of us.

You know how very often the spouse of a good friend is just
part of that friendship? This ain't like
that at all. The very first thing I noticed about Ivan and Martha is that they
are what I call authentic people; not
counterfeit, phony or aloof in any way.
They are both strong and dynamic individuals; and I consider myself to
be double blessed to have each of them as a friend. I like to think that I have distinct,
separate and individual friendships with each of them; as well as with them as
a couple.

While Ivan pursues a career in technology and engineering, Martha has made a career in the hospitality industry; and is employed at one of
the areas premier upscale Inn's with a Michelin Star chef and an international
reputation. Every other week Martha
would tell me about meeting this celebrity or that famous person at work. Knowing my feelings about the man, she wisely
waited till he'd gone to tell me Trump had recently been there.

Martha is one of those people who is always smiling, always
has something positive to say about nearly anything, and who is always making
you laugh at her wit and wisdom. She is also a virtuoso in the kitchen being an accomplished nutritionist and
cook. She eats right, lives right, runs
the Human Race marathon every year,
and works out at the gym twice a week.
Probably the healthiest person I know, and absolutely the very last
person on earth to deserve getting cancer. Upon learning she would have to undergo chemotherapy sessions, her immediate response was to change her hair color from brown to purple, just to put the cancer on notice!

I had my own bout with cancer a few years back, but I don't call
myself a cancer survivor because it was skin cancer, and on my big Roman nose. A few passes with the laser scalpel and it was
gone, leaving me with a disfigured nose and yet another harrowing trip to the VA
hospital. I didn't have "real"
cancer; the kind that takes over your life and feeds off your hopes and dreams
as it eats you alive.

A little over a year ago the upstairs apartment went vacant
at the same time Martha and Ivan were looking for a new place. The entire time we've known each other we've
never lived in the same town, always 30 to 40 miles away, so I didn't get to
see them as much once I traded my truck for a wheel chair. Having them living upstairs is great,
especially at times like this when family draws closer together. They're my adopted family.

When I first learned of Martha's cancer diagnosis I was
actually more Godsmacked than if it
had been me getting the Big
C. I get almost daily updates on Martha
and it seems like a whirlwind that won't let any of us catch our breath for a
minute. I fixed her up with a tablet
full of movies for when she was at chemotherapy, something to keep me from
feeling utterly helpless & useless in
her darkest hours.

I must have prodded Martha to write a blog just enough
times, because last week she took the plunge and began a blog for family and
friends to keep us all up to date, etc.
I always suspected she would be a good writer, and none too surprised to
see I was right.

"I've been informed by my OBGYN
Oncologist that my cancer is not ever going away, I will always have this
cancer and inevitably I will die from it.
It's aggressive and is growing at a rate we need to control, and then
maintain with the right treatment."

Having recently finished chemotherapy, Martha now has three
different treatment paths ahead, and must choose which one she feels will be
best. Actually her choices are down to
two different clinical trials, and trying a different kind of
chemotherapy. She feels chemo didn't
help before so that its a last ditch option for her now. So she must pick one of the trials to take
part in.

"The decision is actually very hard. I am in panic mode, what if I don't
do the right treatment? What if the
cancer gets more advanced than it is after I begin treatment. I am literally trying to beat the clock, my
cancer is growing; causing me issues and pain I can't describe, (please don't
ask me to)"

From the day Martha was diagnosed I've been watching my two
friends deal with this turn of events; seeing in each of them, strengths
previously untested, and a steely eyed determination to fight back against this
cancer with dignity and love. Martha has
accrued a following of friends numbering in the hundreds who know her from
work, the gym, or where ever. Being such
a social person, who loves people; she in turn is loved and admired by every
one of them.

"I want all of you to know I am Okay. I am still strong, positive, me and moving
forward. Please respect my wishes and
don't tell me things I already know, or try to sway me to something not
medically proven, I am all about a healthy lifestyle, believe me."

Beyond my own minor brush with skin cancer I've really never
had such direct exposure to it, and feel totally helpless most all of the
time. What I can do is to keep sending her lots of pure white light, saying
that she should apply as/where needed.
It is most difficult to see someone you love go thru this process and to
feel totally helpless; wanting to do anything
that you know will help.

This Woman just can't catch a
break

Every time there has been a glimmer of hope or good news, it
seems to go south. Every time I get an
update from Ivan, the news is a bit darker and harsher than what we all wanted
to hear. The hope throughout the chemo
process is that the cancer would go into remission, removing the need for
harsher measures such as radiation. Chemo
didn't work, and now my friend is running her own Boston
marathon; in a race for life itself, staring death right in the eye every day.

For someone as socially active as Martha, having to be
homebound is like a prison sentence on top of having the cancer to deal
with. I know a little something about
that what with having lost the use of my legs to atherosclerosis three years ago,
and being essentially homebound ever since.
We share this nice duplex house on a steep hillside full of redwood and
hemlock trees. After a while of not
being able to leave the property, all those trees begin to look more like
prison bars than anything else.

"Another thing I must ask you not to say to me is that
I am going to beat this. (I don't mean to offend) I am so overwhelmed with
advice and false hopes as I am truly running this hard core race. I just ask for your support at this
time."

When I read the words above I felt really bad, because I
have been telling her from day one she would beat this. It wasn't just idle chatter to sound positive. Martha is a very strong willed and dynamic person
who is normally very positive and optimistic. She knows the power of positive thinking and
how to use it, so when I read those words I knew she has crossed the Rubicon. Martha is doing this strictly on her own
terms, not backing down an inch. I think
there is a distinct difference between "giving up" and accepting
reality as it is. There's no quit in
this lady, and no denial either...just a ton of dignity.

"I may never see the finish line, but I can keep track
of my miles and just keep going at my own pace; starting over if need be, and
helping others on my path."

I mentioned that helpless feeling; of not being able to do anything to help someone we love
who is undergoing a life threatening challenge.
It is our human nature to want to help; but we must temper that with the
wisdom that in such times people are going thru what is in their spirits
highest and best good; for reasons we may never get to understand. When Martha is the focus of my prayers I
always ask source and the universe to align my energies in harmony with her
highest and best good, and the journey she is on.

Before they moved in upstairs I didn't get to see my friends
very often, and for a little over a year now that has changed, as Martha keeps
insisting on having me up for dinner and socializing a couple times a
week. That has changed too now, as she
is having more bad days than good regarding the pain and discomfort she
experiences. She can still get out and
about pretty good, just not every day like is her normal. When I do get to see Martha; I can see in her
eyes what this cancer is doing to her.
Martha's body is being consumed by this ravenous disease, but her eyes
tell me it will never get as much as
a taste of her soul.

It isn't so much about ignoring the cancer as if it
wasn't there. It is more about not
allowing it to take over your life and become all of what you are about. I've had one or two close calls with death,
but never was tested by having to stare it down every day upon awakening like
Martha is doing with such grace and dignity.

"In about 6 months my organs will start to shut down;

so I really don't have the time to waste."

I got to visit with Ivan for almost an hour early last night;
Martha had just fallen asleep despite the pain she was in. He brought me up to date, and it was the
first time I heard him use the word terminal when speaking of Martha's cancer
... it kinda shook my soul a little ... I wasn't ready to hear that despite
knowing it, as he does.

I've lost friends
to cancer before; but I've never been this close to the day by day living thru
it with someone...never been in the loop before.

Ivan returned upstairs when we heard Martha up and moving
about; an hour later he texted me from the hospital. These late night runs to the hospital are
like a minefield for hope. You just get
to harboring and nurturing some optimistic, hopeful thoughts about remission
and seeing your friend be another cancer survivor; then its another midnight run.
They were still there this morning, she was admitted last night.

Not knowing is the worst.
and waiting, its also the worst.

Every day it seems we have people being shot dead on
facebook, and in Fresno, for no
reason beyond an expression of insanity.
In a very real way we are all, every last one of us, looking death right
in the eye whenever we leave the safety of home and venture into this
increasingly insane world.

BART trains held up due
to a suicide threat at a 'terminal,' another tormented soul turned away from the
golden gate. How very surreal it is to see some people so despondent they can't wait end their life while watching
another fight with everything she has to keep hers. Wouldn't you think life is so precious that
each of us has an equal respect for it?

~The Fukushima
Factor~

Talking about death and having cancer makes some folks
uneasy, so does talking about Fukushima radiation pummeling the Pacific coast
for six years now; but when our beaches are lined with the corpses of hundreds
of whales & sea lions and with the
incidence of cancer in the population of western states steadily rising -
it's time to talk about it. Even if we
can do nothing to alter this reality, talking about it is still better and
healthier than just ignoring it.

Just in the last two years I can recall Ivan and Martha telling
me about the number of folks they know who have also come down with cancer
where they used to live. What does the
federal government do in the face of all these rising cancer cases? Why they increase the minimum safe levels of
radiation exposure, of course. As for
myself, well I'd already lost about all the hair I was going to years ago; but
nowadays when I brush my hair, the brush comes away full of hair. Lots of hair.
So that's just another confirmation.

If you live in the west, do you sometimes get a momentary
sharp pain or burning sensation thru torso shoulders and feet? Do you get unexplained little micro-headaches
only lasting seconds, a few times a
week? If so there is an excellent chance
those are hot particles from Fukushima
zipping thru you. Now you know.

Whether it be from global warming, Fukushima,
or the Trump presidency; whether it comes slowly or quickly- we're all looking
death right in the eye! Death is the one
great equalizer. We're all in this thing called life together, and none of us
will get out alive; the only thing that matters is how we meet that inevitable
end. When we do stare death right in the
eye will we do so in abject fear, or with a degree of dignity?

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

By now most of you have likely heard of what transpired on a
United Airlines plane in Chicago yesterday: when a 69 year old doctor
was beaten by airline security, then manhandled and physically dragged off the airliner. It seems the airline had a fully booked
aircraft when it was discovered they needed four additional seats to transport four
United employees.

Initially the airline offered up to $800 dollars to
passengers willing to take a later flight.
There were no takers, so they decided to let the computer pick four
people at random to leave the plane.
Three of them took the hike like peaceful little sheep and deplaned
without complaint. The fourth however,
Dr. David Dao had to get to Louisville
to treat his patients; and refused to be put off the plane.

It was at this point that the security goons were instructed
by someone to physically remove the gentleman from the aircraft; and they did.
He was struck in the mouth and began bleeding from the lip as they
dragged him like a duffel bag down the aisle of the plane. Dr. Dao suffered a concussion, a broken nose, and lost several teeth in the brutal removal process.

Yes everything about what happened was reprehensible;
especially the reaction, or lack thereof, from the remaining passengers. On the cell phone video taken by a passengers
ONE woman can be heard kind of protesting
the rough Gestapo like action and it
was a chorus of one. There were a couple of sarcastic wise-ass remarks
made, but no real protest. On a flight so full of humans
there was a shocking lack of humanity.
The entire lot of them just sat there and not only watched this crime take place, they allowed it to happen by
not standing up in defense of their fellow passenger. As if filming video was the limit of civic responsibility.

The Silence of the Lambs

I'm really curious, were the other passengers indifferent
because Mr. Dao was Asian, or because as well behaved cattle they feared the
same treatment? Yes the fine print in
the 'carrier agreement' you sign to get a ticket to fly says the airlines can
do pretty much whatever they want to you while on their aircraft; but we know
nobody ever reads that stuff, so the passengers weren't silent and compliant
because the airline goons were allowed to treat humans like garbage...it's some other reason

They were silent because they were afraid that if they stood
against this kind of treatment something as bad or worse might happen to them. The nail that sticks up gets hammered back
down. It's true, they really have turned us into a nation of sheep, and lamentably
there may be no way back for us at this late date. Nation of sheep, ruled by
wolves & owned by pigs.

To his credit, Mr. Dao managed to slip back aboard the
airliner, determined to not be deprived of what he'd paid for. I believe the news said he wasn't allowed to
remain on the flight. Now, in the
aftermath of this incident we see a flurry of "news" stories all from
Dr. Dao's past which all seek to somehow discredit him as a decent human being
as if to justify what was done to him.

I have no idea whether any of these allegations about Dr.
Dao are true, but it simply doesn't matter.
Nothing from his past has anything
whatsoever to do with what happened on that aircraft, period. Those who dig up &
make up such things to publish are not journalists, but rather ghouls who are
pushing the party line of totalitarianism as if it was normal and right, which
if course it is not. The only thing Dr.
Dao was guilty of was being Vietnamese-American
and thinking he had the right to stand up for his rights as a citizen.

This man committed no crime, brought no contraband aboard
the plane, and said nothing to bring
about his forced, bloody eviction from the plane. All he did was insist on getting what he paid
for, and that got him a beat down...and everyone there just watched. This is nothing new of course, we humans have
a bit of a history of not wanting to get involved: whether we see a beating, or
children in public being struck for misbehavior, or a woman being abused in
public. We say it's not our business as
an excuse to turn away, avert our gaze and pretend it isn't happening.

We let these things slide at our peril. Yes today there is a hue & cry for a boycott against United Airlines, which is good
and all that, but what would have been so very much better is if the other
passengers had refused to permit the violation of this man's human and
constitutional rights in the first place. We have to make a stand somewhere, sometime don't
we? It might as well be right when the
shit is going down, because the way we are doing things nowadays ensures us that when it is your turn to be dragged away by the
Gestapo there will be no one left to complain or protest. If we do not defend everyone's rights then nobody
has any left.

Friday, April 7, 2017

I had it all worked out in my head, how my new post would once
again focus light and criticism upon the foundering Trump regime and it's
various keystone cops players.

It was gonna be funny, I was gonna toss in a generous amount
of humor, like "Barbie Hands"
is the new POTUS secret service code name,
and that Trump refused the tradition of throwing out the first pitch of the
baseball season, because his hands are too small to hold a baseball.

I can't do that post now, maybe not ever, because Donald Trump
has once again doubled down on just how low of a lowlife he genuinely is; and
I'm no longer in a laughing mood.
Instead of a light hearted, possibly even optimistic bit of comic relief
I must now write about what has made my soul vomit.

Trump has always used words and language as a means of
attack, to demean and destroy his enemies.
Always before we mostly ignored him, so his vile sputterings caused
little real harm. It's different now that
he is the acting president. He
tweets disparaging remarks about a company and their stock drops a few
points. He says offensive things to
world leaders who have up till now been allies, and America
gets an embarrassing black eye diplomatically.
Trump has now seen how much power his words have, and keeps escalating
his rhetoric to create even worse damage such as what we witnessed in horror
this week.

On April 1st, Trump publicly
states that Syria's dictator Assad should remain in
power and not be held responsible
for six years of war crimes against his people.

On April 4th Assad again used nerve
gas on his own people, killing 80,
wounding 300

On April 4thTrump states
the Syrian gas attack was Obama's
fault.

Donald Trump is responsible for those 80 dead & 300
wounded in Syria. Without his encouraging words of support
and endorsement, would Assad still have launched that attack? Maybe, it was the third or forth such nerve
gas attack in recent weeks. Maybe not!
One thing is very clear, however and that is that days after Trump's
appeasement; Assad commits another crime against humanity. Cause &
effect.

This is a milestone in the Trump chronicles that must not be
swept away like so many before it. This
is the first time his public statement has directly resulted in 80 people dead
in a crime against humanity.
How typical and cowardly of Trump to rush right out after the massacre
and cast blame away from himself by accusing his predecessor of being
weak. How typical and cravenly he tried
to politicize the attack. Mr. President,
you are a coward. Simple as that!

Trump is on record as being against any action against Syria. He even tweeted President Obama, advising
against military reprisal. Of course he
doesn't want to act militarily against Syria
because they're backed by Russian anti-aircraft units and on scene Russian
soldiers and "advisors." Trump
is between a Russian and a hard place on this one, especially considering his bromance with Vladimir Putin. What will Trump do, dangers abound no matter
how he decides. Perhaps he will pass
this one off on his multi-tasking son-in-law.

It matters not a
single whit that Trump announced on Wednesday April 5th that he had changed his
mind about Syria
and Assad; that was his handlers feeding him sound bytes for the lamestream
press. Trump had but a single chance to
be on the right side of history but he wasted his opportunity by trying to cast
blame elsewhere.

My biggest concern here is now that Trump has seen just how
powerful his words are; he will conjure up a new grouping of words to see if he
can increase the body count. That's the
thing about these narcissistic war mongers; they are addicted to the bloodsport of carnage, and motivated by
getting a higher body count than the other despot dictators, and as with
everything else, Trump wants more, his must be the bigly best body count.

"Is
it progress if the cannibal uses a fork?"

~ Stanislaw Jerzy Lec ~

Adding to the formula for disaster Trump is meeting with the
President of China, who he accused of raping the United
States; which Trump considers to be his
job. I wonder if they'll shake hands.

Trumps administration is fast becoming a dumpster fire with
all the scandalous leaks, and flagrant violations of laws & traditions serving as background music for
Russiagate. So many protested so loudly
that Steve Bannon was finally kicked off national security council, good
riddance. Little victories. They'll all add up.

Another one bites the dust.
Investigator Nunes just resigned today amid all the bad press about his
breaking bad. Next we must push for Jeff
Sessions to resign in disgrace and return to 1959. Bad enough he lied under oath to congress and
all of us Americans, but now he's talking about coming for my medical marijuana
too. He has to go, or he will drag us
all back to 1959 with him. Little victories.
They're dropping like flies.

Trump, the brooding tyrant-in-the-making strolls thru the
white house in his clown like seven foot long red tie and Darth Vader like coat which conceals both his bulk and barbed prehensile
tail! He is followed close behind by the
scurrying little feet of his feral yes men &
nay sayers who share the duty of not letting any reality seep into the dark
& putrid bubble that is Trumpland: the place democracy
went to die.

Some experts are saying that Donald Trump is actually anosognosic,
which is a kind of reality denial brain disorder. Woodrow Wilson suffered from it, and some
historians think it led to WW2

In the professional wrestling industry there is a kind of
code word among the participants and insiders, "Kayfabe." It means that everybody is keeping the same secrets, everybody reads off the same talking points...everybody works to sustain the illusion of real. Kayfabe, kinda almost sounds like pig latin for fake...and that is
exactly what is going on with the dumpster fire that is the Trump abomination.

"Follow
the trail of dead Russians"

~ Clint Watts ~

So, 15 thousand Russian trolls were spreading fake news and
conspiracy theories, sometimes directly tweeting to Trump when they knew he was
online, all trying to effect our election.
Turns out quite a few people on team Trump had some curious and illegal
contacts with Russian spies; and most of them also spoke repeatedly with the
same Russian diplomat. The more Trump
attempts to conceal the depth of his connections to Russia,
the more facts tumble to the surface and more of this smelly iceberg can be
seen.

One Trump son states they have a great many business deals
on going with Russia,
that they have a lot of money flowing in from Russia. The other Trump son claims they have no
business associations with Russia
at all?

Since the day Trump was elected, six soviet diplomats have
turned up dead and apparently each time one died; Trump took off to Mar a Lago
for a weekend of golfing paid for by American taxpayers. If he is so filthy rich and can afford to
finance his own campaign and turn down
his government paycheck; then how come he can't pay for his own vacations?
Each needless trip to Mar a Lago in Florida
costs the American taxpayers 3.5 million dollars. Adding insult to injury, while there he
always dines in his own restaurant so we are actually paying Trump to eat in his own restaurant.

Not only does Trump run off to Florida
seemingly every weekend to
golf, he also insists upon hosting foreign dignitaries there as well. When one considers that Camp
David was built for that expressed, exact purpose, it just
seems like a real intentional slap in the face followed by the single finger
salute every weekend when Trump flies south.
And no, you aren't loosing your mind, Trump actually said many times that he would seldom
leave the white house and seldom take time off.
Narcissistic liar.

Trump invents new wild claim that Obama wiretapped him
during campaign; in order to draw attention away from Russiagate scandal. Unfortunately for Trump it seems to be having
the opposite effect. One or more of our
on-going spying operations listening in on Russian conversations have
discovered several calls with Trump on the other end of the line.

"America
First" isn't Trump's
rally cry...it's Putin's!

I really dislike the popular trend of belittling Trump
voters & supporters as a group by
calling them stupid etc. Firstly it serves
no good purpose to do so, just further alienates the various factions which is
the opposite of the unity we so desperately need just now. Secondly I do not believe as many voted for
the orange turd blossom as the record indicates. They cooked the books. There was so much
dicking around with the election between the democrats doing it, the
republicans doing it and the Russians doing it as well... the old adage still
holds; "Too many cooks spoil the
soup."

Trump celebrated the 100th anniversary of America
entering into world war one by dropping a 59 cruise missile response to Syrian
atrocities. No doubt a photo-op cooked
up with Putin to make Trump appear strong.
Trump is just too much of a coward to risk killing any of Putin's
soldiers, so they struck a deal. "Just
leave the runways alone."

So Trump gets to look good while getting rid of 95 million
bucks worth of aging Tomahawk missiles. I
saw that sadistically evil smile on his face as he announced the strike on Syria,
he was having himself a wargasm right
there on camera, just contemplating what the total body count would be, come
morning.

This whole sordid affair was cooked up as pure street
theater to pull the worlds attention away from "Russiagate" and the
raging dumpster fire that is the Trump presidency. This is just exactly what Trump needed to
regain the confidence of his base supporters.
The problem arises if and when Trump decides that if a little of this
kind of glue is good, more must certainly be better. What happens when the morning body count
inspires still greater actions and even more corpses. We need to remember that this is the same man who wanted missile parades, and asked "why we don't use nukes if we have them." Yes, remember that every day!

With so many bad actors on the world stage it is fairly certain that nothing is as it seems and that goes for this whole Syria story as well. There is no way to tell what the real actual truth of the matter is but you can bet it ain't being delivered on the TV by talking heads reading from todays talking points.

"You Want it Darker,

We Kill the Flame..."

~Leonard Cohen~

Have you noticed how it is that everything Trump does is in
the shadows. Hides his taxes and lies
about being audited; hell, he lies about everything. He does the exact opposite of what he
promises, and never gives specific answers to any question. There is a decided darkness to how this one
does business, and indeed, who he is in business with. He doesn't want you to know because he
thrives in secrecy. Mushrooms, mold and
fungus all thrive in darkness, but democracy dies in it.

Democracy needs the light of day at high noon, transparency
and accountability in order to thrive.
When deprived of these necessities democracy begins to erode into
something more like Kleptocracy. With
Donald Trump's ascension to the presidency American democracy has slipped to
it's lowest ever ebb tide. What will be
left when the pirates & plunder
monkeys are all done? That's a good
question and the answer could get complicated because of so many moving
parts. At times like these the ancients
would consult with an augur to cast
the auspices for the future; what we
would call looking for omens.

Well I am an augur
and do I have an omen for your consideration!
On the same day that Trump gave his address to congress and the American
people; no fewer than 25 tornadoes erupted across eight Midwestern states. I'm thinking here that was an actual act of God speaking out against Trump omen.