Date: Wed, 22 Sep 1999 00:17:10 -0500
From: Matt
Subject: Search and Rescue 8
This is part eight of my continuing story.
There's been good response to the story to date, and I thank everyone for
their wonderful words of encouragement. I'm an e-mail addict like so many
others, so when someone takes the time to write, it is greatly appreciated.
I must offer kudos to some of my favorites, who I'm sure would let me know
without hesitation when I'm boring them to tears :) Without further ado,
I'd like to take a line or so to tell (in no particular order) Alec, Kevin,
Lauren (author of "Lucky Me"--check it out), and Matthew how much their
feedback means to me now and always.
As always, I save D for last (DLS of "Brian and Me"--an incredible story).
I owe him a sincere debt of gratitude for his friendship and support. If
you're familiar with his story, this chapter of my own might surprise you,
and if you're not, go read it now--I'll wait :)
Now for the obligatory stuff:
WARNING: This story is sexually-explicit (or at least getting there),
involving homosexuality. Do not continue if this will offend you. If
accessing this story causes you to break local laws, please leave now. By
continuing , you implicitly declare and affirm under penalties of perjury
that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor and are entitled to
have access to sexually-explicit material. The content and opinions
expressed in this story do not imply anything with regards to the sexual
preference of any member of any celebrities named herein. It is a work of
fiction entirely.
We all just sat perplexed while JC took the phone. "Hello?" he asked with
no small degree of uncertainty. Then, he grinned from ear-to-ear. "Hey,
what have you guys been up to?" With that, he pulled away from me and stood
up. He walked towards the back of the house so he could hear better, and
everyone looked at me as though I had any answers. I returned the favor by
looking at Kathy. She just smiled and held up a finger, telling me to wait
until JC was through and to let him tell us.
After a number of minutes, JC came back with the cordless in his hand. He
smiled, handed the phone back to Kathy, and plopped down between my legs.
He picked up the remote to the VCR and pressed play.
"Oh, no you don't, Joshua Scott Chasez," I said gruffly as I snatched the
remote from his hand. "You better talk."
He smiled. "That was Kevin Richardson."
The girls screamed, and Justin had the most dumbfounded look on his face
when he asked, "From the Backstreet Boys?"
"How many Kevin Richardsons do you know, Curly?"
Justin grabbed the pillow his foot was resting on and tossed it at JC's
head. JC saw it coming and ducked, so the pillow hit me square in the face.
"Okay, then, smarta. . .," Justin trailed off when he remember the girls
were in the room. "Smart aleck. How did they know we were here?"
"They didn't," Kathy jumped in. "I was calling Kevin, and he just happened
to hear you guys in the background."
"Kevin Richardson is your boyfriend?" I asked, assessing the situation.
"Sometimes," she smiled as she picked up the remote and started the movie,
and for just a moment, I thought I saw tears in her eyes. After the movie
had been playing a few minutes, I glanced over at her and saw her staring
blankly out to the patio. I leaned forward and whispered into JC's ear that
I needed to get up for a few minutes. He sat up and kissed me, then I slid
out from behind him. As I headed out onto the patio, I grabbed Kathy by the
arm and took her out with me.
"What's going on, Kathy?"
"Nothing, Matt."
"You always were a bad liar. Now tell me."
"Damn, you know me too well. Kevin and I have been on-again, off-again for
a while now."
"Off-again at the moment, I take it."
"We have been, for a while now, but we're still good friends."
"And I take it your good friend just started seeing someone new?"
"You're good," she smiled. "Yes, he's started dating again, someone named
Carrie. You know, I should be happy for him."
I looked at her with sympathy when she broke down crying. I pulled her
into a hug. "But that doesn't make it hurt any less, does it?"
"No," she answered honestly before forcing herself to regain her composure,
wiping her hands across her eyes and cheeks.
We sat down on the patio swing. "If you don't mind me asking, what's the
problem with the on-again? You seem to really like him."
"I do, and I think he feels the same way. Unfortunately, the stress of the
long distances and never seeing him gets to me. I mean, there's just no
way in hell to have a meaningful relationship with someone who's in a
different city every night and who you can only talk to once in a while. It
can't work," she cried.
My face must have betrayed my thoughts, because when she looked at me, her
jaw dropped. "Oh, Matt, I'm so sorry. That's just me carrying on about me
and Kevin. That is no reflection on you and JC."
I gave her a weak smile. "Are you so sure?"
"What's going on in that head of yours, Matt?"
"Ever heard of Florence Nightengale syndrome?"
"No."
"It's when a patient falls for a caregiver because of the stress of the
situation and the attention they've received."
"So, you think JC likes you just because of what you did for him and
everything he's been through?"
"It's a possibility," I admitted.
"No, it's not," JC argued, stepping out onto the patio.
"I didn't hear you come out," I told him.
"I kind of figured that. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I was worried."
Kathy got up from her seat and told JC to sit down, which he did. I
couldn't bring myself to look at him, so I fixed my eyes on the ground. He
softly brushed the hair out of my face and lifted my chin to face him. "Do
you really think this is just some infatuation or crush?" he asked.
"I don't know," I admitted. "I'm really not all that experienced, or
lucky, in the romance department."
"Maybe your luck's changing," he smiled, kissing me.
"Ahem, I am still here," Kathy laughed.
"Sorry," I apologized sheepishly.
"I'm not," JC smirked.
"That I can believe. Anyway, Kevin said that if you guys are still here in
a few weeks, they'll be in town for a concert. He wanted to get together."
"That sounds like fun," JC agreed. "We haven't seen them in a while."
"Besides," she added, "You two can double-date with Brian and his new
boyfriend."
"Brian's gay?" JC exclaimed.
"You sound like you don't know anybody who's gay," Kathy ribbed him.
He turned several shades of red, and I could only laugh. He was so
adorable when he blushed, and I could tell he absolutely hated being
embarrassed. "It's not that. I'm just surprised."
"What, is the gaydar malfunctioning?"
JC started blushing again, and I felt compelled to interject before he died
of terminal humiliation. "Hey, stop picking on my boyfriend."
"Why? The jealous type?" she teased.
"Don't make me claw your eyes out, you tramp," I shot back. Kathy and I
were feeding off each other, and it was hysterical. JC, however, was
fidgeting in his seat more and more.
"You know, JC, for someone who claims he's hardly ever embarrassed, you're
easy to shock," Kathy ribbed him.
"Hey, I thought you were the easy one," he retorted. I burst with
laughter, and Kathy made a check mark in the air with her index finger while
she mouthed the word "touch‚." "And by the way, what made you think I was
hard to embarrass?" JC asked.
"Read it in one of those teen magazines I picked up to read something about
Kevin."
"Do you believe everything you read?"
"Absolutely, Elvis is working down at the corner quick mart, and Roseanne
is pregnant with an alien love child."
JC and I both laughed. "So you told Kevin about Josh and I?"
"Yeah. I already knew about Brian and his new boyfriend, so I didn't
really see much harm in it."
"Nah, I don't mind," I assured her.
JC shook his head in agreement. "So who's this guy he's dating?" he asked.
"It's that hot author, Nathaniel Healy."
"Oh, I just read his last book, 'Blue Sky,' a few weeks ago--it was
outstanding," JC told her.
"I haven't read it yet," I confessed.
"Kevin got me an autographed copy. I'll let you borrow it."
"I thought he and Nick were dating after that tabloid thing, not because I
believe all those rags, but Nick has seemed kind of confused ever since I've
known him," JC offered.
"You mean like his sexual identity or whatever?" I elaborated.
"For lack of a better description, I guess so. He's just always portrayed
the eternal kid in the group, the same way Justin does, but I can tell that
act sometimes leaves Jus feeling all alone in the world. No matter how many
people who care about you are around, it's something I think they wind up
going through alone."
"Kevin says he feels like he doesn't know what's going on with Nick half
the time. As much as it pains him, he said all he can do is love him and be
there for him when he does need him. Brian does seem to have found someone
special in Nate, at least according to Kev" Kathy furthered.
"I saw that press conference where they denied that Nick and Nate were
involved. Guess they were right about that part, anyway," I added
"Well, I'm gonna go back in and catch the rest of the movie. I need to get
the girls back to the airport in the morning," Kathy said as she headed
towards the door.
"Speaking of which," I began, "not that I'm not glad to see them, because
that's never the case, but what are they doing here?"
"Scott called me after he gave you the bad news, so I flew the girls home
for a long weekend to cheer you up." Looking at JC, "But it looks like
someone beat me to the punch."
"Yeah," I told her, turning to JC and giving him a kiss.
"Okay, I'm gonna give you two some privacy before I have to turn the hoses
on you," she said, clutching her stomach like she was nauseated. Then, she
turned and went back into the house.
JC pulled his feet up and rested his head in my lap. I rocked the swing
back and forth while running my fingers through his hair and down his face.
As my fingertips brushed his lips, he reached up and took my hand in his,
kissing it. He then brought both of our hands to rest over his heart, and
just looked up at me. I looked down into his eyes, and we sat there in
silence, simply rocking, for what seemed like an eternity.
"What are you thinking?" he finally asked.
"Just how much I love you," I replied, leaning down to kiss him.
"As much as I'd like to believe that, there's more, isn't there?"
"What do you mean?"
"Matt, you're not the only one who can read people."
"Just thinking, I guess."
"I'm aware of that. I think that's why I asked what you were thinking, and
you're not gonna get out of this by talking in circles," he told me,
stroking my hand with his thumb.
"Why do you like me, Josh?"
"I don't," he said solemnly. Then, changing his expression to a smile, "I
love you."
"I'm serious, Josh."
"So am I. What is it you're asking?"
Flustered, I got up so quick, I almost dumped him on the ground. "I don't
know what I'm asking. I guess I just want to know if what I feel--what we
have--is real."
"Do you want me to prove it to you?" JC asked confused, and more than a
little hurt.
"Josh, wait. That's not what I'm saying. I just know you've been through
so much in a very short amount of time--the accident, Craig, all of it. I
just want to be sure that you're sure."
"Is this still that Florence Nightengale thing? Do you think I'm on the
rebound? What?"
"I just don't want to get involved until you've found out you've made a
mistake."
"What makes you think that would ever happen?"
"It's happened before. I come with a lot of baggage, and I don't want to
burden you with it."
"Well, it hasn't happened with me, and if memory serves me, I'm the one
that got involved with you, not the other way around. Maybe I'm asking for
the baggage."
"There's a lot you don't know," I cried, tears running down my face.
"I'm willing to learn," he assured me, tears welling in his own eyes.
"I just don't know if I can do this again," I confessed, tracing two
fingers down the cleft in his chin.
"Do what, Matt?" he asked, catching my hand on the way to my side.
"Fall in love," I answered honestly, squeezing the hand wrapped so tightly
around my own.
"Maybe you already have. I know I have," he admitted, pulling the back of
my hand to his lips. I forced both of our hands down and pulled him into a
hug. I softly kissed his earlobe and whispered, "I love you." He squeezed
me ever tighter, "I love you, too, Matt."
I pulled away from him and patted him on the butt. "Let's go inside, we've
been out here for hours."
He opened the sliding door, and I followed him inside. Everyone was
sprawled out everywhere, the snowy picture on the screen confirming that
they had fallen asleep before the end of the movie. Caitlin and Colleen had
fallen asleep next to Justin, each one's head resting on Justin's shoulders.
I just smiled, and JC nodded his understanding when I motioned towards them.
I scooped up Caitlin in my arms, while JC picked up Colleen. We took them
back to their bedroom and placed them in their beds. Caitlin never stirred,
but Colleen started to wake up and call, "Daddy." I watched with fascination
as JC softly stroked her hair and told her, "Everything's fine. Just rest."
He gently pressed his lips to her forehead before standing and walking to
the doorway in which I was propped. I just stood there in quiet wonder for
several minutes as JC caressed the small of my back, never once urging me
to move, simply watching me as I watched them.
We went back into the living room, and JC roused Kathy and Lance enough to
lead them to my room and the one he had been sleeping in. I, meanwhile,
helped Justin back to his room. We came back and pulled out the two sleeper
sofas for Joey and Chris. He and I ultimately wound up sitting on the
double recliner on the far end of the room. I grabbed the blanket from the
hall closet, and he nodded off almost instantly after we kicked the legs
back. I laid awake just watching him, smelling his hair when he shifted his
head onto my chest, shuddering when his fingers brushed the hair on the part
of my navel exposed by the T-shirt that climbed my chest when I raised my
arm, and mostly, wondering how in the hell I was falling so hard for someone
I had known less than a week. I finally nodded off.
I jerked with a start, almost knocking JC to the ground. Before I could
say a word, I involuntarily shuddered. He asked me if I was okay, and I
honestly didn't know. I just had this strange overwhelming feeling of
helplessness. I looked down and realized why JC was alarmed--I was drenched
in a cold sweat.
"What's going on, Matt?" he asked again, visibly distressed that I
apparently hadn't answered the first time.
"I truly don't know. I must have had a nightmare or something," I lied
unconvincingly.
He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine, but when he squeezed
my hand, he withdrew with a start. "You're burning up!" he exclaimed,
laying his palm against my forehead.
"I'm fine," I reassured him, pulling his hand down into my own.
"No, you're not. Where's a thermometer?" he asked, his leg almost
collapsing under his own weight when he tried to stand. I reached for him,
but he steadied himself on the armrest with one hand and wrapped his other
arm around his chest.
"Jesus, Josh. I'm so sorry. I forgot about your ribs," I apologized when
I realized he had probably hurt himself again after helping me get the girls
to bed.
"I'll live, and my foot was asleep," he explained. "But right now it's you
I'm worried about. Now where's the thermometer?"
I smiled, watching JC try so hard to take care of me. "I don't have one.
Really, I'm okay."
"I don't believe you, on either count," he said, staring me straight in the
eyes.
I shifted nervously. "Second shelf of the cabinet to the left of the
stove," I yielded.
He quickly returned with the thermometer and stuck it in my mouth before I
could object. He set a glass of orange juice and two extra-strength aspirin
he'd found on the end table.
He pulled it out, and the look on his face confirmed what I already
knew--that I had a fever.
"It's over 102. What do I need to do?" The concern in his face almost
broke my heart.
"Nothing," I reiterated, "I think it's just the flu. I've been feeling the
symptoms come on for a while now."
"Then what can I do, even if it's just to make me feel better?" he smiled
weakly.
I brushed the hair on the side of his head and returned his contagious
smile. "Would you mind getting me a wet washcloth?"
His eyes beamed, grateful to be doing anything. "How hot should I make
it?"
"Lukewarm. I need to cool off." He darted towards the rear of the house
before the answer was even complete.
He returned moments later with a towel and washcloth in his hands. He
draped the towel around his neck and set the washcloth on the knee he had
propped against the seat cushion. Without saying a word, he grabbed my
shirt at the waist and pulled it over my head.
"This isn't necessary, Josh. This isn't the first time this has happened.
I'll be fine by morning. I'm just a little worn down."
"Will you please shut up and let me do this?" he asked, ignoring my
protests and using the wash cloth to dab my forehead before trailing down
the side of my face to my collarbone.
"I'm not gonna die," I tried to convince him and me.
"You better not," he teased, running the cloth between my pecs, matting the
hair to my skin. He pulled me towards him as he ran the fabric between my
shoulder blades and down my back. His hand rested on my shoulder, and I
leaned into his crooked elbow, clutching his arm with my hand. A genuine
sincerity in the innocence of his touch put me more at ease than I had ever
felt in my life. He pulled me upright again, running the towel behind my
ears, and he stole my breath when his lips closed around the nape of my neck
for just a fraction of a second. The hairs on my arm stood at end, and I
shook with a chill. He draped the towel across my shoulders and sat down
behind me. He crossed his arms and pressed his fingers into the ridges in
my abdomen, pulling my back against his chest. His temple rested against my
own, and in the stillness, I could hear his heartbeat and my own. After a
few moments, the distinction blurred, and either my perceptions were sinking
into slumber with me, or our hearts were beating in unison.
I slowly roused to the not-so-subtle prodding of someone intentionally
trying to wake me up. My sleep-encrusted eyes struggled painfully to
identify the face standing over me. I finally recognized Kathy as the
voice, whispering as to not wake JC. I cocked one eye open wider than the
other and yawned, stretching my legs out before me.
"What's up?" I managed groggily.
"I'm about to take the girls to the airport. Thought you'd want to see
them off. They're getting their bags in the car now."
"Thanks," I whispered as she slipped quietly out the front door.
I looked down, realizing that I wasn't going to be able to do this without
waking JC up as his hands were still locked around my waist. I craned my
neck around to see his head turned to the side, resting in the back cushions
of the recliner. I softly kissed his chin while I slid out of his arms.
"What's wrong, Matt?" he asked, leaning forward and rubbing his eyes.
"Nothing," I smiled. "I just need to say goodbye to the girls."
"I'll come with you," he offered.
"You don't have to. Stay here and sleep. It's barely dawn."
"I want to," he smiled back, boosting both of us to standing.
I walked out to the driveway wearing just the pair of jeans I had fallen
asleep in, and JC wasn't far behind. He had a bit more presence of mind and
had slipped on his high-tops, keeping his feet from experiencing the cold
concrete. When I stuffed my hands into my back pockets in an attempt to
warm them up, he hooked his thumbs in my front pockets and pulled me
backwards until I stepped onto his feet.
"I'm gonna break your toes," I informed him flatly, patting the side of his
leg with my hand so that he would let go and I could step forward.
He reached down and intertwined my hand with his own. His other hand came
up and brushed the hair from my forehead. "Your fever's gone."
As I heard the trunk close, "Thank you, doctor, now will you please let me
go? I would prefer to keep my public displays of affection, especially your
hands down my pants, to a minimum in front of my kids. I don't think it
would set a good example if it looks like I'm sleeping with someone I barely
know."
He thought I was serious, but the hint of a smile on my face betrayed me,
and we both started laughing. He let me step forward, but he wouldn't
release my hand. "What? You mean your kids don't know that all of your
dates get to see you naked the first week?"
I elbowed him hard, but lovingly, in the gut, finally escaping his grasp.
"If you and Joey don't quit, I'm gonna kick both your asses."
Kathy climbed into the car, and the girls walked around to me. They both
embraced me in a hug. "Bye, Dad," they told me in unison.
"Bye, girls. You two study hard, and I'll see you soon," I replied,
pushing Caitlin's hair behind her ear. I stood up and patted Colleen's
head. "Have a safe trip back."
When they left my arms, I expected them to hop in the car, but to my
surprise, and to his, they went over and hugged JC. Unsure of what to do,
he returned the squeeze, but looked at me questioningly. "Bye, JC."
A thought occurred to me, and I figured I shouldn't leave it unspoken.
"You girls do know you can't anyone about us, right?"
"Really? And here we thought we had bragging rights that our dad's new
boyfriend is the same guy in the poster hanging on the wall of every teenage
girl in the free world," Caitlin answered.
"My eleven-year-old, the comedian," I smirked at JC before looking back at
Caitlin. "But what you can brag about is the fact that you'll be grounded
longer than any human being in history."
She rolled her eyes and smiled, "Point taken."
Colleen chirped in, "Seriously, we're happy for you both. We like JC, Dad,
and not just cause he's cute. We talked about it, and we think he's good
for you. We haven't seen you this happy in a long time, or actually, ever."
Damn, these kids are growing up too fast.
Caitlin interjected again, "Although the bragging rights would have been
fun."
JC wiped his eye and whistled, "Tell you girls what. What if me and the
guys come do a concert at your school? You can say we're friends of your
Dad, and we'll hang out all night, signing all the autographs your friends
can muster."
Colleen smiled, "That'll do for starters. You can also buy us incredibly
extravagant birthday and Christmas presents."
"It's a deal," JC smiled.
He and I watched the girls climb into the car. "Be good. Call me when you
get back." Remembering that they had a coed dance with the boys' school in a
few weeks, I added, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
Caitlin couldn't contain herself, and before she shut the door, she had to
add, "Yeah, like that's limiting!"
I looked at JC, and we both blushed. After we waved goodbye to the girls,
we went back into the house and plopped back down on the recliner.
The guys woke up a short time later, as evidenced by my wake-up call of a
dry cereal foodfight landing right in my face. JC was obviously annoyed at
their antics, but when he began to speak, I grabbed his hand and just shook
my head. We just laughed when they all turned on Justin, since he couldn't
get away. I was interrupted by a knock at the door.
I tried to climb over JC, but my legs were tangled up in the blanket, and
JC and I both went sprawling into the floor. Everyone started laughing, and
I hopped up to answer the door before any of us had stopped.
I saw Scott standing there, stone-faced, as he began, "What I'm about to
say is not a request . . . ."
TO BE CONTINUED . . . . . . .
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