Jabroni Journal: SummerSlam 2017 Predictions

The end of the summer is always a bittersweet feeling. While our days of shorts and t-shirts, night time barbecues and outdoor concerts might be dwindling, for wrestling fans it means it’s time for Summerslam! This year we have a 4+ hour event with 13 matches. This is gonna be a long one!Here are my predictions for this Sunday’s big WWE event.

Akira Tozawa (Cruiserweight Champion) vs. NevilleWe got a pretty cool surprise this past Monday, as Akira Tozawa earned a shocking victory over the long-time Cruiserweight Champion Neville. Unfortunately I have a feeling this is going to be a short run. I expect the “King of the Cruiserweights” Neville to win his title back after what will surely be a jaw-dropping match. Winner: Neville (New Cruiserweight Champion)

Naomi (Smackdown Women’s Champion) vs. NatalyaI would be downright shocked if Natalya won. She will be feeling the glow in no time.

Winner: Naomi (Retaining the Smackdown Women's Championship)

The New Day - Big E and Xavier Woods (Raw Tag Team Champions) vs. The UsosWith their new-found attitude and swagger, the Usos are the most entertaining they’ve ever been. I would be very happy to see Jimmy and Jey walk out as victors, but in reality, the New Day is just getting warmed up for another loooooong title reign. Winners: The New Day (Retaining the Raw Tag Team Championships)

AJ Styles (United States Champion) vs. Kevin OwensThese two have been trading the United States Championship back and forth for a couple months now. I predict that special guest referee Shane McMahon will somehow get involved in the match that ultimately AJ Styles will win. This could set up a feud between Shane O Mac and K.O., with Styles moving on to the next championship challenger. Winner: AJ Styles (Retaining the United States Championship)

Randy Orton vs. RusevAs much as I would love to see Rusev come out of this match victorious, it’s time for Randy Orton to get some respect back after a losing his title to Jinder Mahal and failing to win it back twice in a row. Randy needs to gain some momentum and the “Bulgarian Brute” would be a strong way to get back on track. Winner: Randy Orton

Big Show vs. Big CassThe battle of the big men. While I surely don’t expect this to be a showcase of technical wrestling wizardry, I know it’s gonna be a fun match to see. The whole story of this match is that Big Show is standing up for Enzo, who has been flattened week after week by his former friend, Big Cass. To keep Enzo out of the match, he will be suspended above the ring in a shark cage. Expect Enzo to find a way out of the cage, only to get smashed once again by Cass, who will then go on to defeat the man known as Big Show.

Winner: Big Cass

Finn Balor vs. Bray WyattBray will lose. Why? Because Bray always loses in the end Or at least that’s what the past couple years of WWE Television has taught us. Every time I want to get behind Bray and root for the “Eater of Worlds,” they make him look like a jabroni. At least this will be a solid match to watch. But I think we all know who’s bound to win in the end, right?Winner: Finn Balor

John Cena vs. Baron CorbinLast week I might have predicted Baron Corbin to win over Super Cena, but based on this past week’s episode of Smackdown Live, where Baron cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase on Jinder Mahal only to lose in 20 seconds and get laughed at, it appears someone in the company must hate him. Cena will make quick work of Corbin.Winner: John Cena

Cesaro and Sheamus (Raw Tag Team Champions) vs. Dean Ambrose and Seth RollinsIt wouldn’t surprise me if this is the match of the night. I’m a huge fan of Cesaro and Sheamus as tag champs, but Seth and Dean finally joining forces for a mini-Shield reunion is a huge deal. This one will be a war, but I see the two former Shield members eeking out a win and earning themselves the belts. Winners: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (New Raw Tag Team Champions)

The Hardy Boyz and Jason Jordan vs. The Miz and the Miztourage (Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel)The Miztourage is that group of d-bags that suck so bad that they somehow rule. I never thought I would say I’m rooting for the Miz, but damn it….like he says “I’M AWESOME.”Winners: The Miztourage

Alexa Bliss (Raw Women’s Champion) vs. Sasha BanksThe match was originally going to be Alexa Bliss and Bayley, but in an unfortunate incident on Raw a couple weeks back, Bayley was injured while wrestling Nia Jax. Sasha stepped in a won a qualifying match to face off against “Little Miss Bliss” for the title. I see this feud continuing for a couple months, but for this match, the Boss won’t be able to uncrown the champ….Not yet, at least.Winner: Alexa Bliss (Retaining the Raw Women’s Championship)

Jinder Mahal (WWE World Champion) vs. Shinsuke NakamuraYou gotta give it to Jinder, he has had a pretty impressive little title run for himself. Sure, he might not be a SUPER dominant top guy like John Cena or Brock Lesnar, but he has done a lot better than many expected. That being said, it’s time for the King Of Strong Style to step in. Shinsuke Nakamura is one of a kind, and on Summerslam he will prove why so many call him one of the best in the world.Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura (New WWE World Champion)

Brock Lesnar (Universal Champion) vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun StrowmanNow this is a HUGE main event. The sheer size of the wrestlers involved in this match is downright epic. I could seriously see any of the competitors involved in this battle to win, but after Paul Heyman teased us with the “if Brock loses he will leave the WWE” deal, I fully expect the Beast Incarnate to beat the odds and retain the belt. Winner: Brock Lesnar (Retaining the Universal Championship)