Love All (Advent Conspiracy #3)

When you are at the office Christmas party, and John has had a little too much to drink and begins to dance with the plant in the corner of the hotel ballroom, you begin to wonder if this really is your favorite time of year.

Or when Aunt Sally launches into another opinionated tirade right as the family sits down for Christmas dinner, you roll your eyes and wonder why people say this is the most wonderful time of the year.

Because to be quite honest, it can be quite difficult to truly love certain people this time of the year. So, how do you show love to someone that you would rather just stick a Christmas stocking over their head and bash them on the noggin with the elf on the shelf?

Well, if you don’t want to spend your Christmas in jail for assault, here’s some advice:

1. Pray

It’s seems cliché and overly-Christian-y, but you really should try it. If you know you are headed into a situation where you’d rather deck someone than deck the halls, pray before you walk in. Ask God to help you love like Jesus loved. Because some of those Pharisees that judged Jesus were mighty irritating, but we don’t see Jesus sticking those dudes on the cross, rather he died for them too.

2. Prepare

Make a plan for what you are going to do when Grandpa starts in on his pet topic that no one else cares about. What would show love to him and help him be emotionally healthy? Is it listening? Is it to calmly walk away? Is it to gently share an opposing view and help him see that he isn’t nearly as right as he thinks? Prepare now for what would truly help the other person feel loved without enabling him or her to offend others.

3. Give

Last week, I talked about Give More. What could you give to the “extra-grace-required” person that will communicate the love of God to them without giving them continued permission to be a jerk? It could be a meaningful present, it could be something homemade, or maybe you could give a donation to a cause in their name.

A Real Life Example

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine was complaining about her husband. They weren’t getting along. He was spending his time on things of which she didn’t approve, and he knew she was silently judging him. Even the kids were noticing the tension at home.

Because she knows I am a pastor, she asked me what she should do as a Jesus-follower. After we talked through some of what the Bible says about marriage and her role as a wife, I asked what her husband’s love language was. She said, “Gift giving.” So I suggested she get him a gift to indicate she still loved him and that he is important to her.

She glared at me for a moment, then grunted, “Darn it! You’re right. I don’t like it, but you’re right!”

Well, that very night, she was browsing a clearance rack and found some super-soft pajama pants at an amazingly low price. Immediately she knew her husband would love them. She told me she didn’t want to do anything nice for him, but she sensed God telling her to get them, so she prayed that God would change her heart toward her husband as she threw the pajama bottoms into her shopping cart.

Well, guess what… it worked! Her husband LOVED the gift, felt incredibly honored, and then apologized for his behavior and decisions. She was overwhelmed that because she had prayed about the situation, made a plan (reluctantly) to show love, then gave him something, it helped to repair the breach that they were both feeling in their relationship.

I can’t guarantee that if you follow my friend’s actions, you’ll also experience immediate relational connection. But I do know that God calls you to love… even your crazy Uncle Joe with his wacky conspiracy theories.