Ahh situationship woes! Don’t we all got ‘em and haven’t we all been through it? Cue in K Michelle song “Can’t Raise A Man”. We all have that one person, who is absolutely no good for us. All signs point to them not being the right partner, and yet we can’t seem to shake them off. Why is that? This is the one person we continuously allow to keep coming in and out of our lives. Even when we have done all we could to move on, as soon as he waltzes back into our lives, we tend to convince ourselves that maybe this time around it will be different. I have yet to figure out why we do such things to ourselves, knowing that by engaging with this person, it will only lead to more hurt and confusion.

​So why do we always let ole dude walk back into our lives anytime he pleases without putting in the necessary effort or work required to gain our trust and love again? Is it because we feel a level of familiarity or comfort with this person? Do we subconsciously convince ourselves that even though he hasn’t taken any concrete steps to rectifying his actions, the mere fact that he is showing up means he still cares?Girl, stop this foolishness, wake up and run far from such chaos and uncertainty. It is not your job to fix someone or to make him realize what he had. Your only job in this situation is to completely avoid waiting on “him” to make a solid decision on what he wants from you.

​There’s an old saying that goes “you never know what you got until it is gone.” Child, this couldn’t be any truer. Whether he cheated on you or took you for granted- he, on his own, must take responsibility for his actions by recognizing his faults and rectifying them. This is not your job to do and you ain’t “captain save a phuck boy.” Sometimes when you are no longer in the picture, when you cut all forms of communications and ties with someone, only then do they begin to see how much of an asset you were to them. Only then do they recognize your absence and yearn for your presence again. But Queen, why would you want to be with someone who only appreciates your absence rather than your presence? You shouldn’t have to remove yourself completely from their lives before they miss or appreciate you. Let this marinate!

Sis, if he was the one, he wouldn’t have lost you with his actions. Don’t let the memories or fantasy of what could have been cloud your judgement. See people for who they really are, and never fall in love with the potential of a man. There are red flags everywhere so pay attention! And stop allowing “situationships” to ruin your happiness.