A Satirical Look at American Government and Politics

Menu

Substance Abuse

(Atlanta, GA — April 1, 2017) – A 700-foot section of Interstate 85 (I-85) in Atlanta buckled and collapsed from a fire on Thursday. The deliberately-set fire raged beneath an overpass during the evening rush hour, and the resulting damage is sure to cause months of headaches for the estimated 400,000 vehicles which use the…

(Silver Spring, MD — June 16, 2015) – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today announced a plan to finally ban trans-fats from the foods consumed by average, ordinary, everyday Americans. Predictably, not everyone was happy with the announcement. Trans-fats can clog arteries and cause a variety of coronary diseases. The FDA estimates that thousands…

(Washington, DC — January 19, 2015) – Senior managers for the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA) – commonly known as Metro – uncorked the champagne this morning and drank a toast to success. The reason? No passenger deaths in the past week. The story was not the same last Monday, when “an electrical arcing…

(Wayne, NJ) – For years, parents and educators have demanded that children’s toys be educational as well as fun for all ages. Be careful what you wish for. Retail giant Toys “R” Us is now educating the youth of America about the world of drug cartels, including the buying, selling, and use of illegal drugs…

(Washington, DC) – When FLATLINEgov first reported on the African Ebola outbreak on August 6, there had been 1,700 cases reported, 900 of whom died. America’s public health officials assured average, ordinary, everyday Americans that they had nothing to fear from Ebola. Two months later, average, ordinary, everyday Americans can see just how wrong the…

(New York, NY) – If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Unless you happen to be a football player in the National Football League (NFL), in which case literally beating ’em seems to be all the rage. Domestic violence is terrorism, plain and simple. It’s meant to terrorize spouses. It’s meant to terrorize children. These…