I couldn't swim. It hurt to do so.My coach wouldn't let me back in the water.My passion. My dreams.That herniated disk took it all away.The pain was too great to even walk.But I was consoled. Some pain was numbed, But it didn't go away, so they gave me drugsAnd distorted me, making me feel worse.Vicoden made me sleepy, Skelaxin made the pain noticeable, Steroids reminded me of what I lost.All they did was curse me, so they tried something new.

In the middle...

The drugs had failed me. Failed my family.Failed my friends. Failed my life.All I could do was rest, and everyone made sure I did.For a while, I was treated like a queen.They let me be late to classes.They gave me soft chairs. But it was short lived.The drugs failure led me to something worse.I can still feel where the needle entered the bone.Injecting the 3 other drugs into me, Making me feel so much worse.Enhancing the pain.

Now...

The pain staggers, as if it's taunting me.Reminding me that no matter what I do, It will always be there. It will always mess up my life.I have to sacrifice so much so I can get better.I watch the meets on the sidelines and despairBecause I can't share my teammates' glory.I can't swim in the tranquil watersAnd enjoy the serenity I once possessed.My family insists that I keep restingAnd taking the medication that doesn't help one bit.The pain is still here... hindering me.

In the end...

I hope this grim Septermber that I've grown to hateWill finally make the pain not numb, but fade into nothing.Maybe then, others will stop treating me like a cripple.Offering to carry a featherweight bag so I don't suffer.Maybe then, I will return to the cool watersAnd embrace in their tranquility I once enjoyed so much.Maybe then, I will return to the glory I was deniedAnd move freely without fear of the pain coming back.But until then, I have only this constant Hell.The pain will be my despair and tormentor.Let this Grim September end... now!

Author's Notes: I had to leave swim at the beginning of the month because I got a herniated disk. Now I'm limited to so much and people are treating me like a cripple. I hope the epidural works so I can swim and work at the fair and be in the musical. I'm just so sick of the pain right now. Author's Location: Brookfield, Wisconsin More Poems: Nyx Sange has posted 63 additional poems- View them? Author's Profile: To learn more about Nyx Sange - Click HERE Contact Me Via Email...

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