Monthly Archives: January 2013

I still don’t trust putting my child on to that bus every morning, watching that door close, and sending him off for others to protect. I hate it, I hate every damn second.

And I hate that the nation seems to have forgotten the real issue. The nation has forgotten about our children, and gone on to more wars between groups of people and politicians. Propaganda rules their days while my first grader sits in his class room, just as those other children once did.

I don’t care about the war on guns and mental health. (Okay, so I do care, a lot, but not in relating to this subject) Because, you see, evil does exist. You might call it a different name, based on your beliefs or backgrounds or whatever, but it’s out there. As far back as our written history goes there are bad people out there doing bad things. People have poisoned, stoned, hung, stabbed, drowned, shot. This can’t be ignored. You take away their weapon of choice, and because they are evil, they will indeed come up with another demented way to carry out their plan. (9/11 anyone?) So let’s end this part of the discussion right now. Bad people will continue to do bad things, always.

But wait, mental health is too important! Right. I hear you. It does have a factor in a lot of horrible crimes. I agree. But unless we become such a locked down nanny state, where every single person goes under constant evaluation… Bad people will still be out there. (Some one is most likely rolling their eyes because I’m using the words “Bad” and “evil”, yes I understand many mental illnesses, and that some of these people just need help and medication and so on and so on, and they’d be normal people and such… Let’s just stick to one topic for now)

So now we finally get to the real point. The point that is no longer being paid any attention to in the masses. How is my child safe at school?

Let’s say we ban everything dangerous. Let’s say we open up and improve our world of mental treatment. And yet Tom the lunatic doesn’t care. He has a plan. And he’s not about to follow any law. He approaches my son’s school, with a pack full of ammo that he stocked up on two decades ago, a gun he stole from Mexico, letter openers he’s sharpened to slice through a blade of hair, and whatever else a mad man might pack. He gets into my child’s school. (Let’s say he stabbed a dad in the parking lot and stole his ID, or let’s say he works there, or let’s say anything, there’s always a way) And he approaches my child’s classroom…

Now what? It takes an estimated (taken from a speech given by a St.Louis Sheriff) five to ten minutes to get one-armed cop to a school. What will my son’s school do in those minutes to save lives? Because it only takes minutes for a tragedy to happen or to be avoided. The clock is ticking…

What happens next?

You can argue with me until you’re blue in the face that if we just take away guns that we’ll be fine. I’m telling you I demand answers as to how my child’s life will be protected in school. Protected from guns, knives, stun guns, pepper spray, rocks, brass knuckles, glass shards, bombs…. Because I don’t believe that we’ll ever get back to the days of my childhood memories of doors at school propped wide open on warm days.

Honestly, I don’t have all the answers. I don’t want my children going to school in maximum security like buildings. I don’t want him distracted and surrounded by armed militia. But we have to start somewhere. We have to start with protecting our children first. It’s a great hope to want to solve the world’s issues, but it’s an impossible dream. And we’re far from bringing our nation closer together with the current debates. And my son is still only protected by a locked door and a petite secretary sitting behind a glass window.

So you can continue on being satisfied with your gun and healthcare debates, I’m not interested. I want real results. I want real safety. My son is worth that. Our children are worth real answers.

*packs away the soapbox*

*Side Note: This is not an invite to start any debates on this site on gun control or healthcare. If you really, really, wanna.. email me. I get that a lot of people just don’t wanna hear any of this, heck I lost five readers the day I posted about being a conservative, point being, no this is not gonna turn into a political ring, I have another blog for that. But I would like to open up the discussion on what we can do inside the schools to keep our kids safe, all views and opinions that are wrapped up like an adult are welcomed!

That’s me, at least for today, shameless and such. And I’m fine with it.

This is 100% a plug… for myself, in part of my scheme for world domination. You see, I’ve already taken over Alaska, New York, Florida, California, Ohio and beyond… but I need to reach your town!

How am I taking over?

With knitting, crocheting, and soaps of course.

So go now, show some love. Visit my shop at http://www.whitegoatranch.etsy.com and marvel over my creations. And be kind because I’m still figuring all of this out, and my camera died. Humph. While you’re there toss me some favorite love. It helps.

And no, that’s not it! You’re not done yet! Then I need you to dash on over to facebook and “like” me over at http://www.facebook.com/WhiteGoatRanch . And join in on the conversation and such. (That’s where you’ll find coupons and stuffs)

It’s been busy around here for sure. Between family drama, sickness and injuries, the loss of favorite pets, starting a new business, and so on and so on… it’s hard to prioritize blogging. And even harder to follow-up on my friends’ latest writings.

And then, then there is the confession.

I think, I gave up.

Or maybe it is that I am still giving up, or maybe I’m getting ready to give up, and that’s why I feel compelled to write about it. Just one last time. Not that I’m looking for someone to magically pull me back into that other realm, because the time still isn’t there… but just to keep on with the honesty I prefer to keep in here.

So I don’t know what happened. There was some slippery slope, or too many battle wounds… or something. I was like the little train that could, puffing along, thinking I was on track, beating back the negativity… and then… Then the track was cracked by a lack of progress. I couldn’t meet my own goals to save my life. Then the repairable track met the tornado of a pretty bad critique. Then the shambles that were left met another bad critique storm, and then another.

Oh I tried to stay strong and grab onto the sides and pull myself back up. But it just all felt like there was nothing there to grab a hold of. There was no concrete success to put a foot on, there were no met goals to reach for. All that seemed to be there were countless hours wasted, eaten alive by my own self doubt.

What did 50+ followers mean to the stack of bills? Nada. What did one featured post mean to the family at dinner time? Nothing. What did hours of imagining factious plots do for the betterment of anything? Not much. And maybe that’s all my fault. Maybe I just never had the dedication. Maybe I didn’t work hard enough, or want it bad enough. Either way I couldn’t/can’t produce enough evidence to continue down that path.

Yes, yes, I know, whoa, holy heaps of negativity. Unusual for me to do here.

And my bitterness isn’t towards anyone. I don’t want those who have potential to be turned off by what I’m sharing. This is only in my case, all though I’m sure I’m not alone.

I asked once, what your final straw would be, where you would actually turn your back on a dream. And I guess I had found my final line. When your confidence breaks so far that you can no longer drag yourself down that path. When you actually smirk, and twist a compliment, and you get upset. When, for the most part, the words just stop flowing. When you just can’t.

In closing, I thank all of you for all of your support. I thank you for everything you have done for me, and with me. I’ll still be floating around this interwebs world. I’ll still be randomly posting here when the mood strikes. I’ll try to one day get back to visiting your blogs. This isn’t meant to be a big old begging for compliments, or anything of the like. Like I said, I believe in being as honest as possible here, and this is real life folks, unedited, and with a pot of coffee, or two.