Friday, June 17, 2011

Friday Fuckwit

O Hello. I don't think I have many readers left thanks to my lack of visitation but for those who have stuck around, I value your loyalty.

I haz a job. Well a long term contract for a big company in quarrying and stuff. So back with a bunch of engineers and Excel spreadsheets which I hate but seem to end up working with. The guys are nice, there's a great canteen and free biscuits so no complaints. And the rate is a little better than the 2nd largest soft drink manufacturer in the world. Now I just have to live on toast until I can recover from taking a rather expensive month off in April but hey, it's all good.

So for your Friday pleasure, an idiot convict. Coming from a country populated by the buggers, I guess it's appropriate:

FORKS, Wash. (AP) - An escaped convict was caught following a day on the loose after he knocked on the door of a cabin in the woods - only to find out the man renting the lodge was an off-duty guard at the prison he just fled.

Authorities said 39-year-old James Edward Russell took off from the Olympic Corrections Center near Forks on Tuesday morning. Just after midnight early Wednesday, Russell - still wearing his prison uniform (well that's a dead give away) - went to the cabin, knocked on the door and asked to use the phone, said Department of Corrections spokesman Chad Lewis.

The guard recognized the red, prison-issue shirt, a scuffle ensued and Russell took off again, Lewis said Thursday. The guard, whose name being withheld by the Department of Corrections, reported the incident and Russell was caught later that morning by other corrections officers about from the facility near Forks, on the Olympic Peninsula.

Oh dear . . . one born every minute. Have an awesome weekend. I just hope I can get my washing dry, meet up with a long lost friend, buy a wedding outfit, and well . . . get my creative juices going amid housework and recovery from completely fucking up a spreadsheet today. Thank you to my lovely boss who's only comment was, "Take it easy, just slow down a bit."

First, to answer Betsy's question: I once had a temp job at a brewery. There was a beer tap (free) in the coffee room. That's better than free biscuits... Still, your new boss sounds like a good one. The advice applies to everything, no?

I don't know much about spreadsheets, but I heard once that sometimes they'll f***k themselves up on purpose just to make us look stupid. Take it easy and settle in before putting on the speedy gonzales hat.are they good biscuits or cheap'n'nasty?

Ang on, you have to be dead clever to escape from prison, don't you? Or was it an open prison..??

別の色の馬

今晩は皆さん

Thanks for your message chez moi. Looks like I'm finally moving out to this nutter house... at LAST. If they'll have me. If only they'll have me, I'll go... I so hope I can go, I'm depressed out of my mind where I am now, it's all too, too much...

Ah! Many congratulations on your new biscuits/job/boss/income! Nice video/song. (d'you think I have a thing/penchant/something for /'s? I might have. Hmm.)Hope you've found a great wedding outfit/your long lost friend/a dry spot to hang your washing.

The escaped prisoner isn't one of the luckiest people in the world I guess. Ah well. Shit happens.

Have a nice week. Good luck with the spread sheets. You just have to learn to love them ;-)

I just read your last posts and felt so terrible about your rainy day with your car problems and work problems. Now I find that you have a job – c’est magnifique as they say somewhere in the old country. Have a great week-end – well it may have already passed for you, so have a great week!

Stupid is as stupid does. Great story! Congrats on the new job! Since it sounds like you work with spreadsheets a lot, you probably already know this trick. When I'm trying a maneuver that may be risky, I first save another copy of the spreadsheet. Then when horror of horrors an entire column disappears or some other such tragedy, I can just revert to the old one. Also, I found that maybe saving not quite as often also helps. Then you haven't saved your mistake. Just close the file without saving and you'll be back to where you were. I mean no judgment of your capabilities in these words, just sharing what I learned the oh so hard way...

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