Magical Mystery Oops

Twilight Sparkle has spent months researching chaos magic, developing a new spell to unlock magic nopony has ever experienced before. But when something goes wrong with casting, Twilight finds herself turned into a Draconequus and unable to control her new chaos magic. If she ever wants to be a pony again, there is only one who can help her learn to control her new magic.

Of course, learning from Discord was never going to be simple. And after a while, being a draconequus doesn't seem so bad anyway....

8. I Can't Take It

Once Zecora had calmed the rampaging draconequus down and assured her that Discord's injuries were—in fact—not that bad, Twilight had settled onto one of the Zebra's couches with a cup of tea, still glaring daggers at Discord. "You should've told me," Twilight said again.

"I didn't think you'd care," Discord said with a shrug. No longer being accosted with a shovel, he had returned to his pile of cushions with a cup of tea of his own balanced on the end of his tail.

"We work together!" Twilight shot back, "Of course I'd care!"

"Weren't you about to say something before you went shovel knight on me?" Discord asked her as he took a sip of his tea.

Twilight glared at him for another moment before setting her own cup aside with sigh. "Luna visited me via a dream while I was asleep, but something happened toward the end—we were...disconnected."

"If it is, I am very, very worried," Twilight replied as she turned her assistant. "Spike, could you come here for a moment?"

"Sure thing!" Spike hopped off the stool he had been standing on, leaving Zecora to continue prepping what was either food or more potions. Twilight wasn't sure at the moment. "What do you need?" He asked as he came over.

"I need a map of the Everfree Forest and any notes you have on where we collected samples," Twilight replied. "And have you or Zecora had any problems with magic?"

"Sure thing!" Spike replied with a quick salute before he started collecting scrolls that had ended up scattered across the hut. "And as for magic," Spike shrugged, "not really. Haven't tried much. Why?"

"I need data," Twilight replied as she plucked the map from the top of the pile, spreading it out onto the nearest table. "Discord, come over here."

"What?" Discord grumbled as he plodded over. "Got a crafts project for me?"

"Do you remember when and where we were during our trek through the forest?" Twilight asked as Spike handed her another scroll that she scanned over before starting to mark the map.

"Vaguely," Discord said with a shrug as he moved closer to the map. "Let’s see. We started here, split-up here not long after, met up again," as Discord went on, he pointed out spots on the map with a claw, Twilight notating them as he went, "here-ish. Oh, look, that’s our cave. That makes the shrubbery—" Discord paused as he studied the map before slowly laying a claw on a single spot deep inside the Everfree, "—here."

Twilight marked the shrubbery with a larger mark before stepping back and staring at the map. "Hrm. It’s almost like. Discord, are you seeing what I am seeing?"

"Sadly," Discord replied with a sigh, "yes. Anypony have a compass?"

Spike looked at him for a minute before dashing over to a saddlebag that had been tossed into one corner, digging through it for a moment before pulling out the V-shaped drawing tool. "I'm assuming you don't mean the other sort," Spike muttered as he handed Discord the tool.

"For once, a safe assumption," Discord replied as he took the compass and turned back to the map spread out across the table. "Let’s see—spiky end goes on the shrubbery and this end..." Discord adjusted the device before drawing a large arc across the map. Then he adjusted it again and drew another arc, this time a little further from the shrubbery. He repeated that maybe half a dozen times before setting the compass aside and taking a look at the map. "Well, that's not good."

"What is it?" Spike asked as he stared at the map.

"The shrubbery's effect is spreading," Twilight said with a sigh, "and based on our time in the forest, it's already spread pretty far. Those points and Luna's visit let us calculate just how fast, too."

"So," Spike asked nervously as he looked nervously between the map and Twilight, "how fast is it?"

"Pretty fast," Discord replied, "if my calculations are correct, and they usually are."

"If it maintains this rate, the effect will envelop all of Ponyville in a matter of days," Twilight said somberly as she ran the numbers in her head, "and that's not even the worst case scenario."

"How is that not the worst case?" Spike replied, a hint of panic creeping into his voice as he did.

"Which means it could reach the town as soon as today," Twilight said as she started pulling her saddlebags back on. "I need to talk to the girls, now."

"If it means getting further from the shrubbery," Discord replied as he grabbed some of the other bags as Spike started loading a satchel with scrolls and quills, "I'm all for it. Do we have a plan?"

"Find out where that shrubbery came from and why," Twilight replied as she started for the door, "and figure out how to get close enough to make it stop."

"Getting close isn't the issue," Discord said with a shrug as he followed Twilight outside. "It wants us to get close, remember? I'm more worried about actually being able to—Twilight?"

The purple draconequus didn't respond but instead kept staring off into the forest as thunder rumbled in the difference. "Sparkle?" Discord asked again, waving a paw in front of her face. No response. "Hellooooooo, any princess home?"

"I..." Twilight started after a moment as she started walking back toward the forest, "I missed something."

Spike joined Discord in staring at Twilight for a moment before Discord succinctly summarized both their thoughts. "Oh hay no."

Spike was the first to move, rushing forward to grab onto her tail as he tried to stop her. "Come on, Twi, what happened to talking to the girls? You had a plan!"

"I missed something," Twilight replied hollowly as she kept slowly lurching forward. "I can figure this out, I know it. I missed something, and I need to know so—"

Her thoughts were cut short along with her sentence as Discord slapped her. Hard. Twilight froze for a moment before letting out a gasp, her eyes dilating briefly before refocusing. "Wha-what happened?"

"You went into full-on hypno-mode," Discord replied, "And then I slapped you. You with me?"

Twilight gave her head a quick shake. "That was...supremely unpleasant." She glanced back at the forest for a moment before yanking her gaze away with what seemed like more than a little effort. "I think the two of you should keep a very careful eye on me," she suggested nervously.

"Anything for you, Twilight." Spike replied, pulling himself up to his full regal and not-at-all-cute height. "I won't let that forest take you!"

"Not how I hoped to get permission," Discord said with a shrug as he threw an arm around Twilight and started walking them back toward Ponyville, "but if you're giving me permission to stare at you, who am I to complain?"

Twilight managed a weak smile as she rolled her eyes. “"Why am I not surprised you would-ah!" Twilight lurched sideways as she stumbled, falling into Discord's arms as he caught her.

"I thought you said you were alright?" Discord asked as he helped her back up. "You seemed fine when you were trying to cut my heart out with a spoon."

"It was a shovel," Twilight corrected him as she gave her injured limb a quick test before putting her full weight on it, "and I am so long as I don't run into any rocks or tree roots or anything."

Discord gave her a level look before briefly glancing at the stretch of rock and tree-strewn forest ahead of them before turning back to Twilight. "Want to run that by me again?"

"Well, it’s not like I can have you carry me all the way to town, now can I?" Twilight asked as he returned his stare.

"Why not?" The two draconequi turned as the dragon spoke up as he was adjusting some of his scrolls. "I mean, he already carried you through the entire forest and you slept with him. You really going to get shy now?"

Discord looked at Spike for a moment before turning to Twilight. "He's got a point. Want to cut to the chase and just make out?"

A crashing sound behind them interrupted any response Twilight might have made as the trio turned to see a slack-jawed Zecora standing just in front of her hut, a basket of herbs and reagents spilled at her hooves. She stood there for another moment before giving a loud cough. "I believe I arrived at an inappropriate time, as it seems I almost missed a rhyme."

Zecora adjusted the saddlebags across her back before turning to her spilled basket, blinking in surprise when she found Discord holding it out for her. "It seems that the forest has become one of my foes," she said as she warily accepted the basket and placed it on her back. "I may need a place to to stay if you will let me impose."

"Oh, I doubt that will be a problem," Discord replied with a shrug as he stepped back. "I mean, she's letting me room with her after all."

"And unlike him, I doubt you'll rearrange the floorplan without asking," Twilight gave Discord another glance as he sauntered back over to her side before giving Zecora a wide smile. "My home is open to you for as long as you need, Zecora."

"I am in your debt, Twilight," Zecora said with a polite nod before she returned Twilight's smile. "Though such a reply seems obvious in hindsight."

"Oh, you're melting my heart," Discord replied as he dug around in his bag before pulling out an oversized wide-brimmed felt hat and placing it on his head. "Saddle up, let's get this moveable feast under way!" They all stared at him, blinking. "Did you forget about the magic-eating shrubbery?" He turned to Zecora and gave her a polite nod. "Since this is your neck of the woods, lead the way for us, would you kindly?"

Zecora watched him for another moment before turning and starting forward, trusting the two draconequi to follow. "Why," Twilight asked as Zecora walked past, her eyes lingering on the zebra's bags and their overflowing supply of herbals, "is it that she knows more than I do?"

"She knows this forest," Discord replied as he toyed with one of the blue flowers that had fallen from Zecora's basket, "though I do wonder what she's worried about that might need that much poison joke," he gave a shrug as he tucked the flower behind Twilight's ear, "Want to take bets?"

"Given how this day is going so far?" Twilight replied with a smirk, "I half-expect Equestria's atmosphere to catch fire."

Discord blinked. "Can that even happen?"

"Not really," Twilight replied with a shrug, "I mean, theoretically, it could have happened when I transformed, but my math said that it was almost impossible."

Discord gaped at that for a moment before giving up on developing a response and opted to simply start after Zecora. "Let's go before the dragon and the zebra decide to ditch us."

"Not really," Discord replied with a shrug. "Zecora’s more interested in stopping chaos, not making it. Probably just uses it for tea or something."

"Well, if its effects can be applied in a controlled manner..." Twilight mused out loud, losing herself in her own thoughts as she walked. Yes, miniaturization could be useful in a variety of situations, though voice alteration might be limited to stage roles. Maybe if you could isolate different effects, you could—

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt herself yanked to one side. "Hey!" Her head snapped to her right at Discord who was still holding onto one of her forearms. "What did you do that for?"

"You were starting to circle back," Discord replied, pointing a claw over one shoulder at the receding forms of Zecora and Spike, "which is bad, remember?"

"Oh," Twilight said after a moment as Discord let go of her arm. "Thanks then."

"Just doing what I'm told," Discord replied as he gestured for Twilight to go first with a flourish and a bow. "After you, princess."

Twilight answered with a similar bow, "Why thank you, your Lordship,"

Twilight headed forward to catch up with Spike and Zecora, leaving Discord to work out what had just happened as the group headed out of the Everfree.

It wasn't until they reached the edge of the Everfree that they realized that something was amiss. "Is that smoke?" Spike asked as they finally cleared the treeline. Sure enough, there was smoke coming from the direction of town and not the usual 'Pinkie's throwing a party' sort.

"Well, that's not good," Discord quipped as he caught up with the others, glancing back toward the forest. "Does anybody else feel that?"

Twilight glanced back at the forest, her eyes lingering on some point far beyond the trees before she jerked her head back around to face toward town. "If you mean whatever keeps trying to make me turn around, then yes. Turning around is probably not a good idea right now."

"Wake up, go to work, save the world," Discord said with a shrug, "same, same thing we do every week," he paused before turning to Twilight. "Well, you do at least."

"Come on!" Twilight shouted as she rushed forward as fast as her still sore injury would allow. "We've got to do something!"

"Twilight, wait!" Spike called out before rushing after her, Zecora close behind.

"Well then," Discord said as he watched them go before striking a pose and charging after them. “Tally ho!"

The scene they arrived to was one of—actually, not the worst they'd ever seen. Even only counting what had happened in town proper, Tirek's attack had been a lot worse. This looked more like a parasprite incursion sans parasprites. Every other window seemed to be broken. Window shutters hung loose, and carts were overturned everywhere. Ponies were moving about in one of two ways: absolutely panicked or in a daze. Only a few seemed to have enough of their wits about them to actually try and impose some order, and one of them was a blue and polychromatic blur that sped overhead as they stood there. "Rainbow!" Twilight shouted.

"Twilight?" Rainbow shouted back as she stopped hard before backtracking over to the draconequus, giving her a confused look. "What's in your—nevermind. Where the buck have you been? Everypony in this town has gone crazy!"

"You leave them alone for one day," Discord muttered with a chuckle that earned him a quick glare from Twilight.

"Discord, see if you can find Fluttershy," Twilight ordered, and Discord gave a quick salute before heading off. She watched Discord for a moment before turning back to Rainbow. "What happened?"

"How the hay should I know!?" Rainbow replied as another pegasus tried to bowl into her and she was forced to dodge, "Everypony started to lose it a few hours ago, including half of my weather team! We need reinforcements! Royal Guards. The Wonderbolts!"

"Rainbow," Twilight replied, trying to force some calm into her voice. "All of Ponyville's Royal Guards are already in town with you."

"Well, they're completely incapacitated!" Rainbow replied in frustration as another panicking pegasus plowed into her posterior that earned him a Rainbow Dash-induced crash. "We need a plan!"

It was at that point that Discord crashed back into view, plowing through a crowd of panicking ponies in the process as he came to a stop inside what appeared to by a giant hamster ball. "I'm back," he announced as he popped open the hatch and pulled himself out. "What did I miss?"

"Rainbow Dash panicking," Twilight summarized succinctly, Rainbow's protests ignored as Twilight continued, "How's Fluttershy and where did you get that?"

"Dear Fluttershy is fine," Discord replied calmly as he finished climbing out of the sphere and giving it a light pat. "As for this, our magic is back! Ain't that grand?"

Twilight looked between Discord and the sphere he was leaning against for a moment before reaching out and snapping her claws. In an instant, the transparent sphere vanished in a puff as its entire mass sublimated into confetti and flower petals. "Still have some interference though," Twilight mused as Discord fell onto his rump. "That wasn't supposed to have confetti."

"As much as I love being yet another data point," Discord grumbled as he rubbed his sore behind, "your town is still turning itself upside down. You might want to do something about that."

"I thought you'd prefer it like this," Twilight commented with a quirk of her eyebrow.

Discord shrugged. "Not as much fun when I'm not the one causing it. Besides, you and dear Fluttershy would be upset if it stayed like this."

"Right," Twilight said with a sigh before turning to face down the street toward the largest concentration of ponies. "Stop!"

At her shout, the entire street froze and turned in her direction, which lead to a few pegasi crashing into walls and windows but nothing serious. Twilight ignored them as she continued, "I am your princess, and I command you to stop!"

There was a pause of exactly three-point-six seconds where they actually listened before the shrubbery-induced hysteria reasserted itself and a good half of the crowd proceeded to trample over their princess.

Rainbow sighed as she watched Twilight extradite herself from the stampeding crowd, earning a few sharp kicks to the side in the process. "Seriously, does that ever work?"

"No," Discord replied with a shrug. "She is ahead of the game in that she didn't try it on a giant wolverine/snake thing with poison tusks."

"You looked like you had it under control," Discord said with a shrug.

"Speaking of 'under control'," Twilight replied as she turned to Rainbow Dash. "Why aren't you panicking or shuffling toward the forest?"

"Oh, trust me," Rainbow replied. "I would love to panic right now, but then who'd take care of everypony else?"

Twilight gave her friend a smile, "I should have guessed you wouldn't leave the entire town hanging. So where's AJ?"

"Probably on her farm," Rainbow replied with a shrug, "Why?"

"Because I need a shrubbery moved," Twilight replied. "And I can't use magic. Get the rest of the girls together. We'll meet at Fluttershy's. Discord? Come with me."

"Lemme do one more sweep to make sure nopony's wandered too close to the forest," Rainbow said, getting ready to take off.

"Please, let me assist you." Rainbow looked down to see Zecora stepping past Discord. "Given the circumstances it’s the least I can do."

"The more the merrier," Rainbow replied with a nod as she dropped down closer to the ground. "Just try to keep up!"

Rainbow Dash bolted off while just a couple of hooves behind, Zecora following close behind. Twilight started down another street for the edge of town, Discord and Spike close behind. "So," Spike asked as he gave up on keeping up with the draconequi and just hopped onto Discord's back, "how are we going to move a tree without magic?"

"Earth ponies," Twilight replied succinctly. "And it's a shrubbery."

"One problem," Discord pointed out as he trotted along next to Twilight. For once, he was on all fours as well, a rare sight. "Earth ponies run on magic, too. Stick them near that shrubbery, and it’s like you cut off their hair."

"What does hair have to do with strength?" Spike asked.

"There was this guy, had a weakness for women?" Discord replied, "his hair was, you know what? Never mind. Point is earth ponies aren't going to be immune to the shrubbery."

"Luckily for us," Twilight replied as they passed the last house of Ponyville proper as Sweet Apple Acres started to come into view, "AJ knows more than one way to move a tree."

Twilight's original plan, before reaching the apple orchard, had been to grab Applejack and head for Fluttershy's as soon as possible. That plan was quickly derailed when she saw AJ at her barn and apparently struggling to keep something inside. "Applejack! What's going on?"

"I was hopin' you could tell me, Twi!" AJ shouted back as whatever was inside the barn slammed against the doors, shaking the entire structure, "One moment everythings going as smooth as you like, and then the next thing I know, Granny's gone and fainted, Applebloom hidin' under the couch like Slendermare is coming for her, and Mac just got this glassy look and started makin' a beeline for the forest!"

"How in Equestria did you get him into the barn?" Discord asked as he stared at the rattling door.

"I got lucky, and he decided to cut through it," AJ replied quickly as the door bucked again, this time nearly throwing her off, but she managed to brace herself quickly. "Now are you gonna help me or not!?"

Twilight turned to Discord, who just shrugged. "Don't look at me. I'd just turn him into a tree or something. Think he'd like to be a tree?"

"No transfigurin' my brother!" AJ shouted, vetoing the plan.

Discord gave another shrug. "Then throw the school teacher in there. That should keep him distracted for a few hours at least."

Twilight began to retort but came up short as she tried to process the statement. She finally managed to ask with a perplexed frown, "How the hay did you figure that out?"

"You'd be amazed at the sort of gossip you hear at the Spa," Discord replied as he examined a claw, "though I don't get to go as often as I like. Rarity took umbrage the last time dear Fluttershy brought me along."

"Right," Twilight replied as she turned to the barn, "that did give me an idea though."

"The teacher thing?" AJ asked.

"No, the tree thing," Twilight replied as she stepped toward the barn door, "I know you said we can't transfigure him, but I assume he's still wearing his yoke?"

"Of course," AJ replied, "why?"

"Trust me," Twilight replied, "and just open the door on my mark."

Applejack gave her friend a confused stare but nodded as Twilight took up a spot square in front of the door. Twilight counted under her breath, timing the impacts. Once she was sure, she waited until just after one of the impacts. "Now!"

Applejack pulled the door wide open, and straight ahead Twilight could see Big Macintosh charging her from halfway across the barn. Twilight didn't hesitate as she swept her claw in an arc, and Mac's yoke responded in kind as it transfigured into crystal that quickly began to grow into what looked like a miniature version of her castle.

Unfortunately, that didn't seem to slow him down as nearly as much as Twilight hoped, and now she had a large, hypnotized, and crystal-armored Macintosh charging her. Twilight quickly started casting out more magic, crystalline arrows suddenly popping into existence along either side of the barn, thin lines stretching between them that snapped an instant later as Big Mac charged through.

With every line he snapped though the connected arrows seemed to explode, coating him in yet more crystal that started to grow around him until the growths finally linked his legs and he crashed to the ground, sliding forward until grinding to a halt right at Twilight's paws.

AJ took a tentative step forward, giving her brother a careful poke. He was wrapped in crystal from the neck back, but he gave a small groan as she poked him before slumped down for a little nap. "Are those the arrows from the Equestria games?"

"With some slight modifications, yes, I suppose they are," Twilight said as she slumped to the ground as she breathed heavily, "Woo, okay, let’s not do that again."

"Sounds good to me," AJ replied as she gave her brother one last check before turning to Twilight, giving her a brief look of confusion, "Uh, mind tellin' me what's goin' on?"

"No time to explain everything," Twilight said as she shook her head, "but the gist is that an evil shrubbery is draining all the magic around it and probably going to destroy the world."

Applejack blinked at that. "Well, that sounds bad."

"It's worse than you know," Discord replied.

"It usually is," AJ said before turning back to Twilight. "So, we have a plan?"

"The start of one," Twilight replied. "But we can talk while we head to Fluttershy's. What do you know about moving trees?"

As it turned out, quite a bit, and Applejack was more than willing to explain as much as she could on the way to Fluttershy's. Unfortunately, by the time they reached the cottage, Twilight was starting to worry about the viability of her plan. Hopefully, the girls would have a few ideas to help.

"Fluttershy?" Twilight shouted as she knocked on the door, "Can we come in? It's—" She was cut off as the door swung open and a familiar pink mane poked around the door, though a little lower than usual. "You alright, Fluttershy?"

"I-I'm better now. Thank you for asking," Fluttershy said softly as she stepped out of the way and let them in. Inside, Twilight found her remaining friends showing similar levels of distress as Fluttershy. Rarity was trying to calmly sip at her tea, but the cups trembling in the grip of her magic betrayed her nerves, as did the way her gaze occasionally slid toward the forest before she could yank it back. Rainbow Dash was flapping around nervously, unable to stay still for any length of time. And Pinkie Pie...

Was playing checkers with a bear.

"Everypony alright?" Twilight asked as she stepped into the cottage, addressing her three friends while Fluttershy quickly attached herself to Discord. Well, Twilight could understand that. Where better to hide from chaos than with the lord of it?

"I have been much better," Rarity replied as she set her tea down with only a slight clattering, "I've been worse, as well, but not by much."

"Still breathing," Rainbow replied quickly. "So can you finally tell us what the buck is going on?"

Twilight took a deep breath as she settled into an open seat, "Discord and I found a shrubbery in the Everfree that bears a strong similarity to the Tree of Harmony. We don't know who put it there or why, but it seems to be pulling in resources."

"What's that have to do with the whole town going pear-shaped?" Rainbow asked.

"Part of its abilities seems to be influencing living things to come closer to it," Twilight explained. "Most likely so it can drain them of energy as well. We saw a hydra under its effect, and it seems to be influencing me as well."

"Well, that explains a few things," Rarity said as she yanked her gaze back from the forest again, "though not the other half of town."

"I honestly have no idea," Twilight replied. "Not many ponies have the knowledge or skills necessary to create the shrubbery, and the number of ponies that even knew about the Tree of Harmony I could count on one claw."

"Who did know, anyhow?" Applejack asked.

"Well, there are the six of us," Twilight replied as she started tallying out claws, "Spike, Celestia, Luna, Discord, the Cutie Mark Crusaders might have known, but I - what?" Twilight stopped as she noticed everypony was staring at her.

Actually, they were staring past her.

"Why all the looks?" Discord asked as he continued to run a paw through Fluttershy's mane.

"Twi, you said it yourself," the farmpony said. "Almost nobody knew about the Tree of Harmony, and if anyone could twist the Tree into somethin' capable of making this much chaos, it’s Discord."

"She does have a point, my dear," Rarity added in.

"I've been saying this a lot, but this isn't Discord's fault," Twilight shot back, "Could he have? Sure, I could have done it, too. That shrubbery terrified him! The only reason he went near it was because of me."

"Twilight," Rarity said as she tried to calm her purple friend, "I understand the Discord has been helping you quite a bit recently, but—"

"It wasn't him!" Twilight replied firmly. "I've been doing nothing but study chaos magic for the last week. I don't know what source of chaos triggered this, but it wasn't him. Trust me, I'd know." She looked between four of her friends as her expression softened. "I know this might be hard for you to accept. Discord has never given you a reason to trust him. That and you never saw a reason to especially after Tirek. But Discord saved my life the other day after that shrubbery nearly killed me, and that buys him at least a chance in my book. Even if you don't trust me, trust Fluttershy. Discord wouldn't have done this, right Flutter—"

Twilight turned to face Fluttershy, expecting to see Discord still trying to sooth her, but instead she found the pink-maned pegasus sitting alone, staring out the still-open door. "Fluttershy! Where did Discord go?"

"I-I don't know," Fluttershy stammered. "He just said something about being sorry and then he vanished."

"So he admits it then!" Rainbow Dash asserted as she pointed an accusing hoof out the door. "Only the guilty would run! Or apologize!"

"Would you stop it already?" Twilight snapped at her before turning back to the yellow pegasus. "Fluttershy, which way did he go?"

"Um," Fluttershy hesitated before slowly lifting a hoof in the direction of the woods, "that way. I think."

Twilight didn't waste any time dashing out the door, ignoring the cries from her friends as she charged back into the Everfree. She gave her claws a snap and an instant later their notated map appeared in front of her, unrolling itself just long enough to get her bearings before rolling it up and banishing it with another burst of magic.

She knew where Discord was going. She just hoped she could catch up to him before he did something really, really stupid.