Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

Missed you folks this week, been too busy. Been meaning to tell you that I had a close encounter of the celebrity kind last week with a celebrity who was not Dave, for anyone who's (not whose) interested.

Perhaps the homeowner arrived before the ritual and costuming were complete. "Terence Michael Dean" anagrams to "the red menace in lace." And there's this personals-style item: "Erect male. Need chain."

Um. What do you suppose he was trying to do?
Contact space aliens?
Draw his love object to him using some meta-voodo spell?
Get his own tv show?
I mean. Wow. That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.

If this is what he did to a complete stranger's house, I do have to wonder what sort of bongo/Buddha altars and potting soil trails and water sculptures his own home has. And do you think he brought the sheet with him or used one he found on site?

i think this guy has a brother,
---------------------------
Man who entered home later found naked Thu Sep 21, 5:09 PM ET
TEXARKANA, Ark. - Police went to a home after receiving a report that he had entered it illegally and later found their suspect running nude through a pasture.
Tim Smith, 19, of Texarkana was charged with residential burglary, third-degree assault, fleeing, disorderly conduct and refusal to submit to arrest. No bond was set and he was being held for a mental evaluation.
Police spokesman Officer Chris Rankin said Smith entered a home Wednesday through an unlocked door and was confronted by a woman in the home, Linda Smith, who is not related to Tim Smith.
"He knocked on my bedroom door, and when I opened it he told me he was sent here to have sex with me," Ms. Smith said. "I told him I didn't think so and that he needed to leave."
At the time, Smith was wearing blue jeans, a gray T-shirt, tennis shoes and a cap.
As the woman and her daughter started calling police, the man stripped naked in the living room and fled after stealing a pair of shoes.
When officers arrived, they found Smith running naked through a nearby pasture.
"He started to chase some of the horses and grab at their tails," Ms. Smith.

Also found in the kitchen was a large water-filled bowl containing only the key to Langstaff's Volkswagen Jetta parked out front. It was later discovered that the suspect had ransacked it as well, and caused damage to the vehicle's glove box.

That is the most extravagantly insane I've ever heard of someone going who was not a lawyer at the time. Of course, the story left out what this person's occupation was, so I suppose we cannot yet rule this out.