It is true. I, your humble reporter, am now off of the proverbial market. I found someone wonderful I want to spend the rest of my days with, have managed to not screw up our relationship so far and successfully put a wholesome and nice proposal out into the world.

Though I feel relatively successful and relaxed, I must admit, I am more than a little worried for what is ahead for my better half and I in our future life.

According to a 2019 report from wedding industry groups The Knot, Wedding Wire and Bodas, the average wedding in Canada cost nearly $30,000. Further data revealed a third of couples in this country and 28 per cent of all pairs in the United States go into debt to make sure their day is as big and bold as they want.

That is crazy. She and I are from the United States and here, respectively, and I don’t think we can even dream of spending so much money on a day most people will eventually have fade from their memory. To me, it is a bit like someone choosing to build their house on shifting sands. Foolish and reckless. Yes, things will cost a lot, but one day is not worth decades of debt that you may never end up paying.

But, it is not just the wedding industry that is guilty of such exorbitance.

Children in our future will be born into a world that has jacked up the price for birthday parties. Financial news website Market Watch reported in 2017 some parents had said in surveys for the child-raising website BabyCenter that they spent $500 on a child’s first birthday. Why does a child need $500 worth of merchandise for an event they will not remember? Kids are expensive and that money can be better spent. When I was that little I think my parents just gave me a cupcake and a cardboard box to be practical.

Then, after we’ve raised any little ones, decades down the line comes death. It may be macabre to speak about, but according to insurance industry website LowestRates, the cost for that one day in Canada comes to $8,500 on average. To be fair, some parts of this are due to fees for things the government would never give for free like death certificates, but a lot of it is from an industry looking to gouge the grieving. Gravesite brokers are a thing now and I have never been more sickened by something this month. I don’t need that. Just throw me in a hole in someone’s back yard or dissolve my body in a vat of some fertilizer.

I am excited to get married. It will be one of the most important things that I will do, to be sure. When I look at the costs that come into play once you commit to someone however, I have to shake my head. Burials, birthdays and weddings should not cost a small fortune.