Not in Alberta! Maybe I am overreacting … Maybe I am not …

When I realized (in January) that despite my best efforts I still did not have a job and could not afford to pay Kyia’s school fees, which I had been putting of in the hopes that I would find a job and be able to pay them, I requested a “Fee Waiver” from The Calgary Board of Education (CBE). This was VERY hard for me. Between my pride and my anxiety, it made me cry that I had to “ask for help”. But there is no possible way for me to afford the nearly $400 they want for school fees. YES you read that right. $400 fucking dollars per year (PLUS the hundreds they want you to pay for field trips, and additional school activities throughout the year) for a “FREE” education. I understand that some SMALL fees (Small=$25-$50 MAX) may be acceptable but $400+ is just outrageous!! This is Canada for fuck sake. How in the fuck does CBE justify approx $400 they say noon super vision, transportation, school supplies etc….
1. My child does not get supervised at noon!! She is in grade 8 and leaves the school grounds most days. And seriously!! These pussy-ass fucking teachers who BARELY even teach kids any more can’t SHARE lunch supervision?? I respect teachers, don’t get me wrong…well I used to…but these days it seems the teachers need to be coddled and babied. They don’t teach our children the things they need. They baby them by “passing” everyone. They rarely discipline (I don’t mean straps, just detention or even a goddamn scolding!). And they cut out essential core studies … like Cursive and multiplication tables!!! The teachers need to “man-the-fuck-up” and TEACH our kids! …oh I am going off topic … The teachers are paid for their day in their salaries … They should NOT get extra to monitor lunch hours. This should simply be mandatory shared tasks INCLUDED IN THEIR FUCKING JOB!!!!
2. Transportation … I cannot bitch much about this one really… Because we live in a different school zone, my daughter does not take school buses. We chose to not send her to the school in our zone so I am not “charged” this (additional $335) fee and I buy her a monthly transit pass to get to school. However … I believe the rate for school bus transit is a bit much … I have not fully researched all of the other provinces, but I do KNOW that the majority of the provinces do not have this fee!! (Or ANY of these overpriced fees!)
3. School supplies … Oh this one makes my blood boil!! I BUY HER SCHOOL SUPPLIES!! The BUDGET Buys teacher supplies. What the actual fuck is this bullshit!! I go out and spend $100 ish dollars on the LIST that the CBE gives out for instructional supplies and then they try to charge me (Approx $150)for more!! You don’t pay … they THREATEN YOU!!! New Brunswick School fees $25 and buy your own school supplies OR $35 School supplies INCLUDED (NO transportation fee, NO supervision fee, NO Bullshit!!). If you don’t pay, you don’t get threatened, you just don’t get the school planner. FUCK YOU CBE!!! FUCK YOU!!! Greedy fucking dickface CBE!! Again, FUCK YOU!

Anyhoo, Back to the “Fee Waiver”, I was apparently never approved…Yesterday I received an email from the CBE basically threatening me. Pay or we will send you to collections!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!! I sent an email stating that I applied for fee waiver months ago…ATTACHING the original email and including a snippit from their webpage showing that I had applied. The message they sent back was that I need a “Child Health Benefits card”. Um. No. No I fucking don’t! I am not going to the goddamned government begging for fucking anything. It is bad enough that I am back on the dreadful EI. I will not go to them for ANYTHING (unless absolutely necessary… like EI because work is scarce and I need fricking money…also I paid into that shit). So I told them that (in a nicer way) I simply said, “I do not need nor want a benefits card. You have my financial information. That is all you need. They came back with basically a too bad, that is our policy. You have to go to Alberta Works and basically apply to be low-income and get that Child Health Benefits Card. Are you fucking kidding me!!! I lost it. I literally walked away from the computer and left my reply until this morning. Which was still kind of nasty…because I am still PISSED So Here is what I sent off:

“To whom it may concern, I have submitted a fee waiver and have forwarded my EI income information already- MONTHS ago!! You threaten to send me to collections KNOWING that I can NOT afford to pay these fees. I am disgusted that you will NOT approve the fee waiver just because I am not on social assistance/Welfare?! I am on EMPLOYMENT INSURANCE! I have ALREADY stated this! I do NOT need nor want a health benefits card and there is NO reason that I should be forced to get some letter calling/labeling me “low-income” or forced to get this health card thing. YOU have my financial information!! Why do you want to embarrass, belittle and STRESS people and families by forcing them to announce to the world that they are poor? I have enough stress and anxiety in my life, I sure as heck do not need The Calgary School Board adding to it! I have shared my financial woes with you, yet you want me to go to a multitude of others announcing my struggles. This process is despicable. This process is WRONG. I have sent you the information and there is no reason for you to force me to embarrass and stress myself further. I am on EI. I make LESS than 2000 per month. My rent, bills and food expenses meet and sometimes exceed that amount. Last year I made under $40,000 and the ONLY reason it was that “high” is because I did work for 6 months of the year…but still technically below the poverty line! Unfortunately I was let go in early October, JUST after an emergency trip to NB (that I am STILL trying to pay off!) leaving me unemployed and BROKE. I expect The Calgary School Board (or ANY school board for that matter) to be a bit more respectful and understanding to people in these situations. When YOU are provided with sufficient financial information to approve a family for a fee waiver. JUST DO IT! Don’t send them to the government agencies. Don’t send them to the school. Don’t force this embarrassment onto them. And for God sake do NOT Threaten them!!! Just take that information and make the darn approval. We live in CANADA. Education is supposed to be FREE!!!! Maybe it is my pride talking or maybe it is my social anxiety, It does not matter, DO not force people into uncomfortable situations. Period. Now please look into this. Thank you.”

Too much? Should I be this Mad? Am I over-reacting? I don’t think so. Why? …

Education is MANDATORY in Canada. Education is a RIGHT in Canada. Education is FREE in Canada. FREE you fucking idiots. FREE. Not $400 dollars or we will send you to collections. FREE!

So Now I apparently have to go to the principal of my daughters school and beg them to approve the waiver “in house” …what a fucking hassle for this free education. Did I mention…

For those of you that read my previous post, The Job From Hell, The Boss of your Nightmares and the Cowardly Coworkers, You know that my boss was a psychopathic cunt. I was fired 2 months after I posted that (NO, not for posting it, I change names, remember). I was fired because of the reasons you will read below. Below is an email I sent to the corporate HR, the plant manager and his boss, the VP as I was advised by multiple outside agencies (The email (in this brownish colour)is exactly as I sent it with only names changed … Any side notes I enter will be in [Green in square brackets]. Also, pictures are added for my (and your?) amusement and were not in the email). Without the money for a lawyer, this is all I can do … but rest assured that if these 3 do nothing I will go over their heads. That bitch will either treat people better or lose her goddamned job. I will make sure of it.

So as a reminder, or sum up for those who didn’t read my previous post (go read it! The link is above):
Andera – the controlling psychopathic boss.
Elise – the lying blameshifter crazy-ass minion.
Suzanne – my (best/favourite) co-worker and IS still my friend.
Brenda – a co-worker. little older, set in her ways and just lovely.
Tonya – another co-worker. I liked her too.

Good Day JOBHP Management,

First and foremost, know that I did not go to LocalHR [I am not even going to give this moron a name] with this matter for a reason. Please read on for that/those reasons.

I do not even know where to begin as I have never been put into this position before. I guess I will start with an introduction. My name is Acrimonious Dragon and I worked at JOBHP in customer service. I had been with JOBHP for approx. 5 months. I started noticing on Day 2 of working there that there were some issues, mostly with Andera (who happened to be my direct manager). It had gotten progressively worse since that day, well I am not sure if it had gotten worse, or I was just seeing more and more. I wanted to go to the local HR, LocalHR (who I now believe to be bias), but I believed that I would lose my job, as my 6 monthprobationary period [6 month probation!! Who the hell does that!!?? 6 months is long enough to see who they cannot break!] was not yet over. I was right.

I apologize for the lengthy email but it is necessary. [It is really long…but most of my posts are. Tee Hee] I am writing with hopes that you will take action and correct the behavior of Andera, Elise and perhaps LocalHR (I am assuming here that you are unaware of the abuse, bullying and harassment that goes on, now you will). First I would like to express my disgust with the release letter that I received. It seemed like a bribe and have not and will not sign it, as I will not be “silenced” to the abuse provided by Andera. I am assuming here that you have access to the copies of the termination and release letter I received, if not I am more than willing to provide scans of them). [These were not attached to email. Attaching to post for your viewing pleasure] [I may also note that despite not signing and stating to LocalHR in an email that I will not sign and do not agree to the terms … they still paid me the extra 2 weeks … suspicious?? … Admission of guilt??]

After settling down for a few weeks, doing some research, seeking advice, finding information and thinking rationally (I was very upset the first couple of days after my termination, knowing it was wrongful, thankfully I am a rational and intelligent woman and know better than to react too quickly while upset, angry or hurt), I realized that JOBHP and management above Andera and LocalHR may not be the problem and perhaps after discovering the abuse, bullying and harassment that is going on they (You) would deal with this in a fair and just manner. Certain people within the company need to be dealt with accordingly (they need to be fired in my opinion, but that decision is in your hands). So I decided to come to you first, hoping that JOBHP is in fact the company I think it is. I am not trying to “make trouble”, I want justice (for lack of a better term), I want people, your employees, my friends and (ex) co-workers, to be treated with respect and fairness from now on. I want them to NOT be abused, Harassed and bullied. I want their mental health to be intact and to not live in fear of Andera and her “gang” (Elise and LocalHR). Despite the fact that I was on probation, I was wrongly [should that have said “wrongfully”? Damnit!] terminated, but this letter is more to stop the harassment, abuse and bullying. So the story is as follows.

I kept a journal that I started on May 20th because I needed to keep track of the horrible abuse people were suffering through the hands of Andera (and Elise). I kept this journal because I intended to go to HR and complain about how people are treated by Andera after my probation was over or as the case is now, in case I was fired for no good reason. (I am willing to provide scans of pages from this journal if they are required) [Sorry, I am not uploading those pages for public viewing]. The thing is I know the reason(s) I was fired, despite not being given a reason other than “it didn’t work out”, (Literally, when I asked LocalHR Why, she stated “It just didn’t work out” … is that even legal??) [Seriously.. is it?] and I believe the main reasons are Not because of my work (Because again, not to toot my own horn but, I was Extremely good at my job!) but as follows:

My belief that the main reason I was fired is that during a harassment claim put in on Andera, I was brought in to speak (Sept 9) with LocalHR as a witness to some incidents. During this investigation, I mentioned my journal and offered it up as evidence to help a co-worker and put an end to Andera’s abuse. I was wrong. When LocalHR dismissed my journal I knew instantly 2 things were about to happen 1. LocalHR was Bias and this investigation was not going to amount to much and 2. I was about to be fired. Yep I saw that coming (The proof of that is in the “keep your mouth shut and we will pay you” release (bribe?) letter that I refuse to sign).

Elise does not like me, because I stand up to her and do (did) a much better job than her. Why does this matter? Because Elise is Andera’s “little Princess”. Elise can do no wrong in Andera’s eyes and NEVER gets into trouble (by Andera) no matter how much she messes up. Andera may have the manager title, but what Elise says, goes. Also no one is allowed do a better job than Elise because Andera doesn’t want Elise to be “Shown up”. The word in the “rumour mill” is that the last Customer service girl (xxxxxxx [I am not going to bother giving her a name, I will likely never mention her again]) was terminated because Elise didn’t like her either. Now I have no proof of that one as I was not with JOBHP at the time of Jacklyn’s employment with JOBHP … but an awful lot of people seem to have the same opinion on that …

I made friends with Suzanne. Why should that matter? Because it is quite obvious that Andera has a high level of hatred for Suzanne. Plain and simple. (Andera seemingly made several attempts to stop a friendship by demanding we not talk to each other and for me to never ask Suzanne questions).

I hope it was not because I left for a funeral. But just in case I will throw that in here… A close family member passed away Sept 17th and I went back to NB for funeral and arrangements. I called Andera the following Monday (Sept 19) and she agreed that I could stay for 2 weeks using bereavement and vacation days. 3 days after my return I was fired. Pretty inconsiderate and disgusting. I just lost the woman who raised me and I come back to lose my job as well.

I liked it at JOBHP, the company “seems” great (I say seems, as I want to wait and see if this email will be swept under the rug and ignored or not) and the majority of the people I worked with were wonderful. I liked what I did and I did it VERY well. It is the bullying and harassing and these issues seeming to not be addressed that I have a problem with. While most of my concern is the way Suzanne is treated, please understand that, Andera (and Elise) in fact treat almost everyone in a bullying manner and with disrespect. Unless a person is management, in which case they both get, what seems to me as, uncomfortably “flirty” or “overly friendly” if you will.

I will start with Andera.

Here, I will give you a few examples (summed up from a few journal entries…but there are MANY more). My (Biggest) concern is that Andera is a Bully and she harasses and abuses employees (Suzanne more than anyone).

Andera bullies, harasses, abuses, belittles, scolds, yells, micromanages, makes accusations, blames and makes demands. She is Rude and unprofessional. She lies, manipulates and plays favourites. She is sneaky, spies and eaves drops. She embarrasses staff and just plainly treats employees like crap. She plays/fakes nice and sweet when anyone of consequence is around (Such as other management or customers) in an attempt to make herself look like a good manager and person, but she is a different person when those people are not around. I assure you she is not a good manager at all and I am not too sure she is even a good person.
She may “get things done” but she does so the WRONG way. A good manager treats their employees with respect. This manager (Andera) is going to lose more good employees, either by them quitting, her firing them because she doesn’t like them, or a mental breakdown caused by her (Which was VERY close to happening to me). I have been told that JOBHP does not have a high turnover rate for employees because it is a good company … How is the turnover rate for this location of JOBHP customer Service department? [JOBHP has locations all over North America] I am betting it is a bit higher than the JOBHP average…

Andera seems to have it out for Suzanne and I worry that Suzanne is the next target on the “firing” list. She (Andera) picks and picks and picks on Suzanne, day in and day out. It is stressful and uncomfortable for all. I sat next to Suzanne all day and I watched her struggle with the way she is treated. I watched her struggle to keep up because Andera “bothers” her so much throughout the day that she falls behind. I watched her struggle as Andera put her under such a tight microscope that Suzanne’s fear causes her to have more errors than she normally would. We ALL make mistakes, even Andera and especially Elise, Andera just points Suzanne’s out on a regular basis (in front of everyone and anyone!!!) and tries to hide her own errors as well as Elise’s!! (The ONLY reason Andera and Elise APPEAR to be good is that they cover up each other’s errors and blame everyone else) FYI, Suzanne does her job and is GREAT with the customers. We ALL have days in which we fall behind a bit, it just seems that Suzanne is not allowed to have these days. We ALL make mistakes and errors, but it seems Suzanne is not allowed to make any. Suzanne recently (Early September?) had a big panic attack at work which I believe, without a doubt, to be caused by Andera. Suzanne had to be brought to the doctor as she was quite ill due to this attack.

Sometimes I felt as though Andera was stalking me. Nearly every time I’d go for lunch or break or away from my desk at all no matter what the time, she seemed to “follow” me. In fact I tested this theory out and purposely waited for her to finish her lunch and put her dishes in the kitchen before I took my lunch, low and behold [Crap another error LO and behold], she made her appearance in the lunch room, spying on me. It made the other people in the lunchroom uncomfortable as well, as they noticed this too and found it weird and creepy. I worked in fear every day. My anxiety and stress levels were (and still are) through the roof. I felt forced to eat my lunch in my car just to get away from her for a few minutes. If I EVER saw this woman outside of work I think I would file a restraining order. YES, it was/is that bad.

Andera has yelled at me, personally, on a few occasions. Once due to a hearing difficulty and insecurity I have. She snapped at me to look at her while she was talking during a morning “huddle” as she calls them (Which, By the way, in all honestly is a waste of 30 minutes to an hour of EVERYONE’s day). I was Livid. I do not always look at people while they are talking in a group for a couple reasons. I do not like to “stare” and I do not have the best hearing and therefore I will sometimes “aim” my ear to a speaker to hear them better. Also, I am not a 3 year old and resent her speaking to me as if I am. Another time she yelled at me about looking up “notes” that did not even exist. Yes, Actual Yelling.

She belittles me (and others) frequently by scolding, “talking down” to us and taking credit for what others do, to name but a few ways.
For example, she once asked if I understood instructions very condescendingly when Instructions were not actually given. I asked a simple yes or no question to a sales rep and he answered. Period. She very condescendingly asked if I understand those instructions. This was very belittling as she did this in front of other coworkers including the sales rep.

Andera rudely told me not to provide helpful and available information to a sales rep because he can find the information himself, or as I took it, “don’t do things better than Elise”.

Everyone seems to be afraid of Andera including people that do not even work under her. I am not going to mention any other names, but I bet nearly anyone you ask (within the company and has contact with her, with NO fear of losing their job) will have negative things to say about Andera. Most people have told me they are afraid to speak up in fear of their own jobs. And My dismissal is proof that these claims are not unwarranted. These are just a few of the many incidents that occurred with Andera.

Elise is just as bad. She bullies, abuses, belittles, scolds, yells, makes accusations, blames and makes demands just like Andera does. She is also rude, bossy, controlling and lies. She has regular “temper tantrums” when things don’t go her way and will refuse to teach you anything more if you go against her. In one incident, after speaking with co-workers about how Andera was making demands again, Elise got inches away from my face and yelled at me. She has gotten into HUGE yelling matches with both Suzanne and Brenda.
She has outright lied to Andera about me (and others). She has, on multiple occasions, blamed both Tonya and I (and previous employees) for things she did or was responsible for. She has tried to hide evidence of her errors. I overheard her on the phone with someone rudely refusing to give contact information because “they could find it on the Bill of Lading”! She has snapped at pretty much all of the Customer service personnel almost daily. She actually went to HR to make a complaint knowing SHE was the one in the wrong and didn’t want to be the one to get in “trouble” in case we complained so she made us look bad and at that point anything we say is considered defense or retaliation. She is VERY sneaky, conniving and manipulative.[I swear, I have to tell you this actual story … We have been repeatedly told by the psychopathic cunt, Andera, not to talk. Suzanne came to my desk with some papers and was showing me something work related. She was talking very low, whispering, if you will, explaining something WORK RELATED to me. Elise lost her fucking mind and yelled at Suzanne. Then Elise went to HR crying that we were whispering. I kid you not. She is a sneaky manipulative fucking bitch]

Now, I will portray my thoughts and experiences on LocalHR. From what I understand Suzanne has gone to see LocalHR about Andera’s behavior on multiple occasions. It is also my understanding that some other co-workers have gone to speak to LocalHR about Andera, some on behalf of Suzanne. From my perspective, up to this point (or at least up to the day I left) nothing has been done (and I am told that still, nothing has changed) (I wonder if any of these visits to LocalHR were even documented by LocalHR. I truly believe that she helps cover up Andera’s abuse). Andera is still a bully and she still “picks on” and Harasses Suzanne (and anyone who does not do as she says, disagrees with her, or simply does things differently). In fact Suzanne has recently (about 3 months ago) been put on a Personal improvement Plan (PIP) which I believe to be a direct retaliation by Andera, due to Suzanne going to see LocalHR to complain about Andera. Suzanne showed me this “PIP” contract and almost NOTHING on this plan is things anyone else has to do. Andera is simply gunning for Suzanne. As I mentioned above, LocalHR’s take on the harassment claim brought against Andera seems bias and unfair. I believe that my offer to help the situation by offering my journal was a big “nail in my coffin”. I was told by LocalHR, in that meeting, that I would not be fired for anything I said in this meeting. And I specifically asked. I asked mostly because my probation was not up and I feared for the loss of my job, rightly so. She outright lied as far as I can tell and am concerned. And again I state that the proof of this is in the “trying to silence me” release letter I received. What kind of release letter actually tells a person they are not allowed to go to human rights commission? A bribe and admission of guilt letter is what I see. Perhaps it is JOBHPs “General Release” letter, which makes me wonder about JOBHP…Why would you not want harassment and abuse reported?? I have received release letters before and none of them have ever said “you are not allowed to go to human rights commission and you are not allowed to report or speak of the abuse you have encountered and witnessed” and you are not allowed to file a complaint against any of our employees. Typically they say:
Keep our confidential records quiet and things of that nature. Not “keep quiet about the abuse, harassment, lies and bullying you have witnessed and experienced here and we will pay you”. I will NEVER sign a letter like that. Company confidential and proprietary information is one thing, abuse is another and should NEVER be silenced.

A little on me and my work as an FYI. I am a hard worker. I do/did not sit idly, I found myself things to do when there was minimal work to be done. I did my job better than most (if not all) [I should make a note here that Brenda did a different job and therefor I can not officially say I did better than her, and Suzanne was under a lot of stress and missed little things on paperwork or Andera’s made up processes, I think if not for Andera, Suzanne would do so much better …but when it came to customers, it was no contest, Suzanne took the cake. Her customers fucking love her!] I tried to learn everything and anything I could, whether it pertained to my job directly or to JOBHP in general. I was friendly with pretty much everyone I came in contact with. I befriended many. I enjoyed everything, outside of the abuse, bullying and harassment. However, I have anxiety and suffered attacks almost daily while working under Andera and with Elise. I went home and cried nearly daily and I barely slept. I have had “stress” blemish breakouts and was almost always sick to my stomach. I had daily headaches and was tense all day. Sometimes I had trouble breathing and had weird heart palpitations. This was ALL due to Andera (and some Elise). Some of these symptoms have disappeared, as although I was upset, it was a relief to not have to go back to put up with Andera and Elise’s bullying and abuse and LocalHR’s bias “looking the other way”. I considered quitting many times to save my health, just walking out, but then decided to try and make a difference first as we live in a time where this behavior should not be tolerated. I decided to tough it out until my probation was over and take my concerns up with HR … well we now know how that turned out.

I am not trying to be a “trouble maker”, I am simply trying to eliminate the abuse, bullying and harassment of your present and future employees and have them be able to work in a place of honor and respect where they feel safe, comfortable and without fear and abuse. JOBHP failed me and I hope they (you) won’t fail anyone else. Please take this information and investigate. I trust that after reading my email you will take the appropriate course of action. If you have further questions or need more information, please feel free to email me at any time

Thank you kindly for your time and review.

I am actually highly relieved to not be working under that psychopathic cunt any longer… but shit I need a job!!

12 year old Daughter visits dad, daughter sends friend a rude/inappropriate text, dad sees text and takes away phone as punishment, daughter cries to mother, mother calls police to retrieve phone, father refuses to give police phone, father is charged with theft and over 2 years later found not guilty, father “loses” daughter. Notable mentions: mother is married to cop. According to mother, Father was not “in” daughters life until she was 7.

Now my reaction/response to what I read in this article (and others, I read 8-10 articles on this story, to get as many “sides” as possible). There is likely more to this story, but from what I read, this is my opinion.

Quotes from the linked article:

1. “As a mom, I’m upset because — number one — the property belongs to me,” (mother)
– You stupid twat, you should be upset because, number one, your 12 year old daughter is sending inappropriate texts!!! Act like a parent, NOT a childish C*&% who cares more about a phone and vengeance than her own child.

2. “You can’t take someone’s property, regardless if you’re a parent or not,” (mother)
-Oh yes you fucking can! Let me tell you, I would have done the exact same thing! Daughter sending or posting inappropriate things, buh-bye phone, as well as all other electronics!! No more computer access, tablet, whatever, all gone until things are worked out and cleared up(could be later that day, could be next month)! Now in MY case, I pay for ALL of my daughters things, but even if the deadbeat was paying for her phone, I would still take it! And hypothetically, if he were in her life, I would expect him to do the same!

3. “At that point, I decided the police don’t interfere with my ability to parent my daughter,” (father)
– GOOD!!! Unless you are abusing or neglecting your daughter, the police should stay the fuck out of it.

4. “During the two-day trial, Jackson’s daughter, now 15, took the stand and testified about her father taking her phone. “It was the last thing as a mother I wanted my daughter to go through,” Steppe says. “I’m always here for my kids.””
– If this was in fact the last thing you wanted your daughter to go through, YOU would NOT HAVE PUT HER THROUGH IT!!!!

5. “officers made several unsuccessful attempts to return the property to its owner.”
– You may not get this from the article, but what they mean is the officers made several attempts to retrieve the phone from the father.
Ideally the mother should have phoned, visited or emailed the father directly (or vice versa), and discussed the incident like responsible parents, but instead she simply called the police to retrieve her phone! There is a good chance the daughter would have gotten her phone back after it being taken away for a week or 2, as that is what punishments typically are, but instead of just waiting a week or talking to the father, the mother instantly called the police. The mother is obviously a vindictive moron who has done this out of spite! She doesn’t actually care about the phone (or her daughter) she just wanted to “hurt” the father. I am not condoning him not returning the phone, this may had ended much sooner if he had, but he had a right to “punish” his daughter and the police should NEVER had been called.

6. “Jackson says the ordeal has permanently ended any chances to have a relationship with his daughter”. (father)
– I hate to say it, but some of it is his fault. Yes I believe, in this situation (In my opinion), that the mother is mostly to blame as she seems to be malicious, but had the father simply given the phone to police this may have not been blown so much out of proportion … or would it? Would she simply have found another reason to eliminate him from the daughters life…?

So Good, I am glad he was found not guilty! I am glad he stood his ground, although, in the end, it cost him a relationship with his daughter. Someday, I hope the daughter grows up to realize that her father was simply trying to teach her a lesson in his own senseless, stubborn way, where-as the mother was being a hateful trouble maker. The mother should be charged for wasting so much of the courts time and resources.

I give and give and give and give and no one gives 2 flying fucks. I do everything in my power to keep everyone happy, yet what the fuck does anyone do for me? Am I being selfish? Perhaps, but perhaps I am allowed to be for once. It gets tiring always being the “giver”.

My daughter gets pretty fucking much everything she wants. I clothe her with the brand name shit. I keep her housed. I feed her, I go out of my way to keep her happy. I go with out so much so that she can have everything. She has pink this and brandy that. Sorel this and Lulu Lemon that. School sweaters, music lessons, drives everywhere. I cook her dinner every night. I make her lunches every day. I pick up after her. I do her laundry. I pay for a bus pass so she can go to the (out of our district) school she wants. She has her own room with a beautiful and expensive bed set (captains bed, night table and computer desk). Electronics up the ying yang… Ipod, tablet, Cell phone, her own computer (times 2!). I could go on and on about what I give to her. I spoil her not only with stuff but with lots of love and nurturing as well. I give her more than enough attention. I stay awake when I am exhausted so I can tuck her in every single night. I make sure to get up with her every morning as she gets ready for school. I spend an abundance of my time with her. I hug and kiss her, snuggle on the couch with her (when she allows it… or wants something) and tell her I love her every time I feel it ( which is a lot). I let her know she is smart and beautiful. I teach her life lessons and manners. I scold/discipline her when necessary. I talk to her. I love her.

My Boyfriend is just as fucking spoiled. I cook his dinner every night. Make his lunches. I go without, for him. I clean his dirty dishes. I make sure things are quiet at bedtime because he gets up early for work. I do his fucking laundry. I let him do his stuff (playing his video games, building his computers, hang out with friends, etc) without bitching or nagging. I spoil him. We don’t fight … but we don’t really “communicate” much either (we don’t really communicate emotionally, partially my fault, but there have been a couple times in which I tried, and got nothing).

What do they do for me? He buys me stuff sometimes or pays for dinners out and takes the garbage out if I purposely leave it until it piles up or stinks. Every few months he gets an urge to Vacuum…. She occasionally doesn’t have a fucking tween attitude and will occasionally do a chore without being told…. twice (in a year) they made an attempt to clean the house. Don’t get me wrong, or consider me hypocritical here, when they do anything, I thank them and very much appreciate it. But it is so very rare ….

And it is not “just” them. I do for so many and very very few ever even thank me. I don’t expect much in return; respect and appreciation. But it seems the more I do, the more I get shit on … hmm, couple sisters fall into that category drastically. Actually I have only 1 sister that is appreciative or so it seems, I haven’t had the chance to do much for her until recently. At least she said Thank you. Work at my last job (which I was recently laid off from and have not discussed in my blog as of yet) was just as bad. The shit I did for that company. Bringing in new clients, taking over an EXTRA full position with no change in title or pay raise, finding money losing errors in pricing, doing shit that was no where near my job, the list goes on and on. I am always a listening ear for anyone (and there are many) who wants to talk or vent or confide. I have secrets hidden about people that would make your ancestors roll over in their grave. But I sit and listen and offer advice if requested … no one does this for me … that is only partially true actually … my 2 BFF’s “would”, except that one has no phone and the other one doesn’t answer his. but they would let me talk and cry…and I really need to. Also My mother let’s me vent … but then she starts trying to decipher everything and “diagnose” me or start changing the subject and gets me all worked up about something else … it gets on my nerves sometimes … but at least she lets me vent.

Over the years, I have developed into a kind and caring woman (despite the fact that some still think of me as the cold hearted bitch I was as a teenager (ish) …that was a lifetime ago (20ish years) I am a different person now and the morons who continuously insinuate that I am still “that” person need to grow up a little (or a LOT) themselves (same sisters fall deeply into this category too). Yes, I can still be a super bitch if you mess with my family or are an ignorant fuckface, but I really don’t like it). A few people have helped me over the years when I have been down and out or struggling and I repay those favours by helping others. I pride myself on doing a bare minimum of 1 good deed per day (often plenty more) and I don’t announce what I have done, I don’t brag about what a great person I am, I just keep believing that Good Karma will be on my side … but nope, nothing good is happening. Karma seems to hate me and my good deeds or any kindness I portray. Maybe I was better off as in my earlier years (late teens/early 20’s) when I was a fucking bitch. Maybe I should become that Perma-Bitch again….

Anyway, back on topic, Someone needs to do something for me or I will fucking quit it all. I love to give, but the ungratefulness and inappreciativeness is too much!!! Do your own god-damn laundry. Buy your own shit. Get your own dinner and prepare your own lunch. Do your own dirty ass un-rinsed dishes. Clean your own mess. Deal with your own shit! Pay me properly for the job I do. How well do you think that would go over? I am simply tired of feeling walked all over and unappreciated!!!

So what do I want? I am not trying to be selfish or greedy. I want to be appreciated. I want to know that people are grateful for things I do for them. Let me take a day off and someone else do the dishes (fully, not just a few and then leave the rest for me to do!). Someone else do (All of) the laundry. Everyone pick up their own shit… and maybe mine once in a blue moon. I don’t need material things. You don’t need to buy me anything. A caring note, a handmade thank you card, a genuine thank you, an afternoon out for a walk or coffee and a chat, that day off I mentioned, a hug with an “I appreciate you”, Acknowledge that I do so much for you, Something. Merely Something.

He posts the above for her to see.
I hide posts like this from her view.

He puts me down at every chance.
I tell her that he loves her.

He always has better things to do.
I think there is never anything better.

He does not jump on opportunities to spend time with her.
I spend every possible waking moment with her (for the most part)

He had the opportunity to have her every other weekend + 1 day/night a week and refused it.
I made that schedule for her to be with him more, now I get all of her time.

He had the opportunity to spend 2 weeks with her and let it go.
I gave him the option to spend a vacation with her.

He had the opportunity to spend 2 + days with her and opted for 3 hours instead.
I kept these days free for her to spend with him.

He stood her up for dinner.
I have dinner with her every day.

He would not give up a day of work to spend it with her.
I have called in “sick” or taken a vacation day so we could have a mommy/daughter day.

He missed her last 3 birthdays, Christmases and all other holidays in the last 3 1/2 years (not even a phone call).
I NEVER miss a holiday or birthday, even when away for work, I will call and skype.

He consistently Lies to her.
I am honest, with the exception of the withholding of some truths to avoid “bashing him” and/or hurting her.

He Bashes me to her at every chance he gets.
I have only called him an asshole (in front of her) a couple of times, and it has been only when HE makes her cry (and then I apologize for saying bad things about her dad)

He tries to manipulate her.
I encourage her to think on her own.

He upsets her.
I comfort her.

He makes her cry.
I wipe her tears.

He breaks her heart.
I pick up the pieces and put them back together and then give her mine.

He breaks promises.
I keep promises I make.

He uses her when it is convenient for him.
She is never an inconvenience to me.

He “says” he loves her.
I say I love her AND show it.

He “puts her off”
I am always there.

He refuses to see her.
I see her every day.

We lived down the street, he never visits, never takes her.
We move across country, I am being accused of keeping her from him.

He refuses to pay Child Support.
I went back to school, then moved across the country and obtained a good career to better provide for her.

He “can’t afford” child support, birthday gifts or necessities for her, but can buy a new car, beer daily and drugs all the time.
I go without for her constantly so she can have all she needs and more, I rarely buy anything new for myself, drink 1 – 2 drinks maybe 3-4 times a year and don’t do any drug.

He gets mad when I bring her to do things.
I bring her to do things.

He tries to put a stop to our adventures. (see below)
I bring her on adventures anyway.

He refused to give permission (simply a signed letter stating that he is aware and gives permission) for her to cross the border.
I established full custody with exclusive travel rights. (Now we don’t need his permission to go shopping in the states or vacation in Disneyland)

She is worth $285 a month to him. (He told me that if I put a stop to child support payments that he would give up all his “parental rights”)
She is priceless in my eyes, no amount of money would make me give her up.

He does ONLY what HE wants.
I do things SHE likes with her.

He PRETENDS to care.
I do care and prove it.

… Something is wrong here …

He neglects his child…. And I am the deadbeat?

You see, one may be smart in maths and sciences and know nothing on geography (like me!). A second person might excel in history and bomb out on a grammar and/or spelling test. Person number three could be a genius in all that is mechanical yet a complete dumbass when it comes to trying to add 2+2. Along comes person number 4 who knows everything there is to know that comes from a book and/or schooling, but has no common sense. That is the kicker … Those are the people I personally consider stupid. If you have no common sense, well … there is no hope for you.

Here are “some” things I consider when labeling a person as “stupid” (or out-right “stupid douche-bag” in some cases) – in no particular order.

(note that some of the other things I list MAY fall under other listed items … guess what … I don’t really care. 🙂 )

1. Lack of common sense.

2. Thinking you are “smarter” than everyone/someone else because you know something they don’t … ummm it is highly likely they know lots of things you don’t.

3. Lack of Manners

4. Bad Parenting (and I don’t just mean making mistakes as a parent, because we all do… I mean being an out-right bad parent … like a dead-beat and such)

5. Arrogance

6. Willful Ignorance

7. Criminals (on many levels… but not necessarily all)

8. Quitters (with the exception of quitting bad habits such as smoking)

9. Disrespectful and/or rude people.

10. Drivers who cut people off, don’t use blinkers, excessive speeders, “grandpa” drivers, and distracted drivers (to name a few)

11. The people who gave the above people their license.

12. People who drink and drive

13. Liars

14. People who believe their own lies.

15. Unappreciative people.

16. Cheaters.

17. Lack of sense of humour … Now this is a tough one because everyone has different senses of humour and I appreciate that … I am talking about the people who “scoff” at what you may find funny (unless what you find funny is harming another person/animal or property not yours… I think that falls under criminals)

18. Closed-mindedness

19. Control freaks

20. ACTUAL Bullies

21. People who call everything bullying … that kid gave my kid a dirty look, he is being a bully … F#@$ off.

22. People who “brainwash” their children as opposed to teaching them to think for themselves.

23. Judgmental people.

24. Racists

24. Politically correct junkies.

25. Emotionally/mentally/physically abusive people.

26. Constantly Negative people.

27. Constantly negative people who refuse to do anything to change… “My life sucks” “so change it” “it will still suck” “shut up then”

28. Band wagon jumpers.

29. Drama Queens

30. People who think that if they found it on the internet it must be true.

31. People who read just headlines and then Troll the comments

32. people who do not do their research … especially if they cry about it later … and double if they do not learn from it.

33. People who do not learn from their mistakes … ever.

34. …To Be continued ….

So if you are calling someone stupid because they don’t know where Timbuktu is, the answer to 6 x 8 off the top of their head or where the camshaft is in their car, then you should probably take note that: You are stupid too!!