Give Us A ‘D’: Alternative Arsenal Alphabet

Remember, this is the alternative alphabet so the obvious stuff, like players’ names, is not included.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments.

D is for…

Donkey

When, early in his career, a young Tony Adams scored at both ends in a 1-1 draw with Manchester United the Daily Mirror thought it would be amusing to publish a picture of him with donkey ears attached. The “donkey” epithet was picked up by rival fans and our Tone had to put up with a lot of stick for a while. But it was the journos and the rival fans who were the real asses. By the end of his career this ultimate one-club man had clocked up the following stats:

669 appearances

32 goals

14 years as Captain

10 major trophies

66 caps for England

1 car crash

512 humungous benders

1 rehab programme

No-one calls him “donkey” any more: just Mr Arsenal.

Doubles

We do love a Double, don’t we? When the club’s first League and FA Cup Double was achieved in 1971 it was particularly pleasing because until then our neighbours up the Seven Sisters Road had been able to claim “Double” bragging rights. (Yes, younger readers, there was once a time when Totteringham were, briefly, a successful club. But, like black-and-white TV, post-war rationing and polio, Spud success has been consigned to the dustbin of history). Of course we then went on to eclipse the neighbours by netting two more Doubles, in 1998 and 2002. Only Manchester United can equal our Triple-Double record.

Derbys

And speaking of the N17 losers, you can’t beat the atmosphere of a North London Derby. On the one hand, a stylish team with stability and class and a diverse and well-informed fan base. On the other, a bunch of permanent losers supported by the entire roster of extras from Planet of the Apes. The first League match between the clubs was in the First Division, on 4 December 1909; Arsenal won 1–0 and that pretty much set the tone for things thereafter. In the years since then, our record in the NLD is as follows: P177, W76, D47, L54. Altogether now: “It’s happened again… it’s happened again… Tottenham Hotspurs, it’s happened again.”

Dein The Divider

David Dein brought Arsene Wenger to Arsenal and helped oversee the acquisition of some truly amazing players (Bergkamp, Overmars, Henry, Vieira, Ljungberg and many more). Perhaps his greatest transfer coup was spiriting away Sol Campbell from under the neighbours’ noses and giving him the chance to play for a proper team. But eventually Dein left under a cloud, flirted with the fat Uzbek and his son, Darren, seemed to be involved in every high profile player departure from Arsenal in the later Wenger years. Some fans want him to come back to team up with Arsene again. Others want nothing to do with him. What will his legacy be? Hero or villain? Or a bit of both?

Divers

I know I’m biased, but I honestly think that when it comes to diving to win fouls or penalties, few clubs are as honest as Arsenal. True, Bobby Pires occasionally went down pretty easily and we did have the Eboue years (but how many other clubs’ fans would have got on a player’s back about diving the way we did with mad Emmanuel?). Eduardo allegedly made one dive (I’m still not convinced) and you’d think he had carried out the slaughter of the first born sons. And I remember Theo diving – just the once – and admitting the fact in interviews. I haven’t seen him dive since. Contrast that with the likes of Suarez, Rooney, Gerrard, Young, Drogba and countless others and you realize that we really are the good guys.

Dandan

If you’re not a regular on Arsenal Arsenal you may not know about Dandan. He was one of the regulars on here (right from the beginning) and always brought wisdom, perspective and humour to his observations. His wise and calming words in the aftermath of some of the club’s bad times were always particularly welcome. Sadly Dandan passed on earlier this year. We all still miss him greatly.

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94 Responses to Give Us A ‘D’: Alternative Arsenal Alphabet

Leftover from this mornings discussion and in response to Steve’s question…..

AW has often talked about signings removing the opportunities for youth players, yet recently he seems very excited by the prospect of having the money to buy almost any player.

Wonder how this will pan out. Bellerin looks a prospect at RB and is perhaps 2 years away from the first team – or will he gamble with Jenks with Bellerin as understudy?

Upfront. These are the most expensive signings and we have seen AW has faith in Sanogo. Again it will be interesting to see if he will sign a big name forward, an ageing star (like Villa) or no-one. My guess is we will be back in for Drexler.

Back up GK. Does he trust Martinez who is another fine prospect or keep Viviano or buy give an ageing PL keeper a healthy pension plan?

No idea but fun to think about.

The more I think about the Cesc situation, especially in light of RA’s comment – I doubt he will return. Also we have a wonderful Cesc type player coming through the ranks in Dan Crowley

Agreed re Arsenal being as honest as they come in modern football – not perfect, but better than almost everyone else. The “always cheating” song is ridiculous. Remember Arshavin jumping up to tell a referee not to award us a penalty when he’d been knocked to the ground without there being a foul? How many others have done that?

D is for debt, the way the club has managed its debt in the form of the stadium mortgage and with the crash in the housing market affecting the income from Highbury is an example of the way it should be done.

‘D’ is for delightful. Rocky’s delightful ability to write a Post that has normally sane bloggers trying to second guess Samuel Johnson and re-write the dictionary/alphabet definitions, just to keep us occupied while he is building his empire. [An alternative to — ‘are we there yet?’] :D

Dreadful, Diabolical, Disgraceful, Disgusting, Demeaning, Deflating, Disconcerting, Disappointing, Distracting, Disagreeable, Discourteous, Discriminating, – The manner in which the best Manager in Arsenal history has been treated by the media and the Diabolical “supporters” who are Disconnected from reality.

It’s a struggle to think of many great Gooners whose surname begings with D. Suitably, there seem to be more disappointments: Denilson, Diaby, Djourou. There was Paul Davis, but that’s reaching back a bit now.

Derived from their habit of foraging in dustbins for food, clothing and mating partners.

Can also be identified by foolish collective belief that Liverpool FC is a major footballing power. Can be found in large (10,000 or so) numbers at a local cesspit aka Anfailed. Although the number of meetings here tends to decline as the calendar progresses towards May.:):):)

Taking up your descriptor tack, can I balance it with some ‘D’ positives that many of us prefer to describe our Boss?

Delightfully charming; Dashingly daring tactically; Decisive in decision making; Dominant among his managerial peer group, Dazzlingly intuitive, Diligent to a fault; Distinguished demeanour, Determined to succeed; Decent to others, Defiant in the face of adversity; Devoted to his team and his club.

Dumbest = the whole football community who allow Sepp Blatter to remain in overall control of football – a man who pretends to know nothing of the glaringly obvious corruption that led to Qatar getting the WC.

Rasp, let’s not be too hard on Septic Bladder, there is an ongoing independent enquiry being carried out by New York lawyer Michael Garcia. I’m sure he will get to the bottom of it all. Oh! Hold on a minute, who appointed Garcia? Oh yeah! Septic Bladder! Well just like the Chilcott report into the Gulf war, I’m sure it will all become as clear as day well within the next decade or two.

Meantime all those in a position to influence the next bidding process should be lining up to open their off-shore, tax haven based numbered accounts in order to facilitate the transfer of bribes.

D for it has been donkey years since we have won the League :-(
D for “God Damn it” – Nasri and Clichy add another EPL title to their cabinet since they left us…

Anyways – it seems that Fabregas may make a surprise move to….Bayern Munich to link up with Guardiola since Kross may be heading to Man Utd.

Talking about Bayern Munich, Javi Martinez is not really happy with Guardiola. If we can land him, it will be some kind of master stroke as he is definitely a player that would be able to take us to the other level. Imagine him protecting our back four and allowing Ramsey & co to play with less restraint

I’ve ranted about the Qatar decision since the day it was announced. I don’t expect the WC will be played there. England had the best bid with the stadiums already in place – and we got 2 votes because we didn’t resort to bribery. The Australian bid was pretty good and they would be deserved of the tournament. It could still go to a middle Eastern country as long as the logistics and climate are conducive. When/if Qatar withdraw, I would hope several heads will roll …. but that is by no means certain.

There has always been a level of dishonesty in football, even in our own clubs history. From the very foundation of Arsenal chicanery has been present, it was how we got elected to the Football League rather than Spuds. That, though, pales into insignicance alongside FIFA’s record of bigotry, sexism, bribery and outright corruption.

Surely the present level of scandal swilling around must be enough that even Blatter can’t sweep it all under the table. It’s time this particular cess pit was emptied, but I for one won’t be holding my breath while we wait for those rolling heads to drop into the basket.

Agreed Norfolk. While this persists, the whole of football is tainted. I’ve had some dealings recently with guys who recruit youngsters for EPL academies. In London, the scenario is often that Arsenal, the spuds and the chavs are all vying for the same 10 year old. Apparently the chavs win 9 times out of 10 because they pay the most and the dads of the 10 year olds are very open about the fact that their sons are available to the highest bidder …. a very sad state of affairs.

There are suggestions Cesc may go to the Chavs, and be paired up with Matic to make a worryingly good central midfield pairing. Please God, no, I don’t think I could cope seeing Cesc playing for them…….

Your understandable hope that Quatar will, either voluntarily or not, be removed as the hosts of WC 2022 is not realistic I am afraid.

FIFA will never admit they are all in it up to their necks, allegedly, and even if they wanted to, they would become engaged in interminable legal 26Ms stretching for years and not even FIFA’s treasure can match the Quataris wealth.

Finally, the people to whom any ‘report’ has to be sent is the Committee who are allegedly responsible.

I wonder which way they will vote?

Aside from FIFA themselves the only other authority over them is the Swiss government, and they have shown zero interest in anything to do with Bladder and Co. for years, despite some questionable ‘events’.

Durham (Adrian) !. Much maligned, but believe me, he is a Gooner !. I know the Doctor who gave Durham his rear end Prostate check up !……and in a world exclusive, can reveal Durham has Willy Young and Perry Groves faces tattooed on his testicles !.

Regarding Qatar, my guess is that the investigations will find nought. Not because there was no bribery, but everyone is complicit.

But where this breaches traditions is in the behaviour of the English press. Just to quote a headline from the Sunday Times: “Qatar too hot, too small, and with no football culture”. Eh? Somehow this makes me deeply sad and angry.

Let us please the fans from European countries and have the World Cup forever in Europe, I say. :razz:

He hasn’t squashed the transfer rumours yet as first and foremost he would like Barça to say that he is part of their future and that they want him to stay. If that doesn’t happen, well I am sure you know, he would be welcomed at every club in the EPL

Except, and it saddens me to say this……………Arsenal.

We are the only club chock full of attacking midfielders and as such there is no place for him at THOF.

He should have followed Peaches advice — she said he was being silly to consider leaving.

On Lambert it seems a strange one (32 years old) but Rodgers needs a bigger squad…..and whisper it but FFP is working and even with CL money next year Liverpool will fail the 3 year test at the end of the season, should they still be in the CL they will face UEFA sanction, expect Suarez to go, Sturridge and Sterling to be the pace and Lambert to be the pivot and another cheap alternative be brought in.

GiE
Recognise your tongue in cheek dig at Porky Lampard, and personally hate the Chavs and Maureen more than anyone or team, including Manure and Rv….##€$$$, but think description on Chelsea website is spot on. Three players helped changed “the way football views modern central midfield players” particularly in this country- Scholes, Gerrard and Lampard. Now you might argue it never really helped us as a nation to win a major international trophy, but I would have taken any of them at the Arse at their peaks.

Are you telling me that Scholes (or Gerrard & FatLamps) was any different to say, Bobby Charlton in his style of play? Neither could tackle, both could run the midfield and take the ball from a CB, both could shoot and score and both were box to box MF’s.

Or Micky Thomas?

I think this is just more Chav rubbish to hype what has been a wonderful career and a fine player.

Evonne. :) “the worst part of Fat Frank’s retirement is the fact that he will now become a TV pundit and we will have to listen to him as well as the despicable Lineker, Shearer, Hansen and Lawro.” :):):)

Raddy
Dont see you are really disagreeing with me given your response.
Charlton was unique in a completely different era – by the way could not tackle, and had nothing like the engine of any of those three mentioned. Micky Thomas brings us forward a couple of generations in footballing terms, but I would still rate all three better than him by a good distance. Whilst we all know of Scholes’ inability to tackle, I dont believe you can accuse either of the other two as poor defensively when required. Haven’t thought about it for long, but the only other moderndayish player, from this country, that I would rank with the three would be Bryan Robson.

mind you arnie, I wasn’t too keen on Gary Neville’s change of career and now I think he is the best thing since Wiziwig tv. Mind you again, jammie c would be ok too if not for his put on accent (I refuse to believe that it is natural for anybody would talk like that)

Raddy – not “my assertion” – but I agree with it! Have to disagree with your assessment of last 30 years.
RA – Viera/Keane predominantly defensive midfield players ie not goal scorers. Bergkamp, THE No 10.
Micky Thomas is a LEG END in the true sense of the word.