Ifost.org.au

was some long seconds before she started fiddling
further with the equipment and it transpired that
the major problem was with the scanner and notthe baby. Babies don’t have a tendency to freeze
For those of you that don’t already know, this will
up and crash all that often as far as we know yet.
probably be the last year that it’s just two of us
If there is an equivalent of Murphy’s law for puns
writing to you. In early May we are expecting to
(i.e. that circumstances turn out in order to max-
give birth (actually, we’re expecting Karen to do
imise the number of bad puns in the universe –
so – Greg’s pot-belly is just a pot-belly). Despite
Greg certainly holds to this belief), then one of
our best attempts at identifying the sex of the
Karen’s friends pointed out that the baby would
baby, we still don’t know as the baby has being
have to be born on May 1st (International Labour
demurely crossing its legs thoughout every ultra-
sound examination we’ve had. We worked out agirl’s name within minutes (with the Chinese partof the name coming from Greg’s favourite Tai-wanese singer), and spent the better part of five
months coming up with a boys name. (The chal-lenge here is that in a Chinese family all the male
For Christmas last year, Karen bought Greg a
children’s names have to begin with the same syl-
telescope. As you are probably aware, neither of
lable so you have to be careful not to cut off your
us have any ability at things mechanical. Greg
spent about two weeks trying to look through theview finder, wondering why it didn’t ever match
up with what you could see through the telescopeitself.
Karen’s pregnancy has gone well but we had a
One of Greg’s school friends provided us with the
few scares early on. She was suffering from morn-
answer in early January that you actually have
ing sickness for the first twelve weeks or so and
to align the viewfinder – it doesn’t happen au-
was unable to eat. Actually, Greg believes that
tomatically. Thus inspired, he pointed it at the
both reactions were mostly caused by his doing
brightest thing in the sky and was most surprised
to see four little dots around it (Jupiter). Every-
Karen was bleeding initially, so we had ultrasound
one gathered around and we re-lived that moment
number one, which indicated that we should be
of discovery and awe that Galileo must have had.
expecting in the last week of April. Carefully ig-
Then, he tried the second brightest, and clearly
noring the “Confidential, only to be opened by a
saw the rings around it (Saturn). Finally for an
doctor” message, we were relieved to find that it
encore, he looked at the third brightest, and saw
was pretty much unrelated to the pregnancy.
Ultrasound number two was the standard 13-week
Later in January, when the international space
one (around 4 weeks after the previous one) and
station was visible in the Sydney skies, we all
indicated that the baby had only grown for three
traipsed down to the local baseball pitch (the
weeks out of the previous four, and that we should
darkest nearby place) to try to find it. Between
a CSIRO researcher, ourselves and two of our
Ultrasound number three at 19 weeks failed to
StarTrek-obsessed friends we managed to make
clear up the date, but did give us a small scare.
out a fuzzy hash pattern, and thought that we
Half-way through the scan, the sonographer sud-
might have seen its solar panels. It was later when
denly said in a quiet voice with dread “oh, no!”. It
we were packing up that it dawned on us that we
1Both the number of people that stare at us and our
were probably looking at the mesh of the baseball
late at night, we used a large hand-made dome.At the time, Mars was very nearly at its closest
Those of you not in Australia may have missed a
approach to the earth – it was so bright (!) that
wonderful Australian movie “The Dish”. It is the
it was hard to make out any detail beyond seeing
(true) story of the Parkes Radio Telescope’s role
in receiving the signals for the first lunar landing.
But we discovered some interesting factoids – it is
Inspired by the publicity that this movie gen-
possible to see Venus with the naked eye during
erated, Sydney University organised a tour in
day-time if you know where to look and the air is
July to visit the Parkes dish, the telescope facili-
clear; radio telescopes only listen on one tiny fre-
ties at Narrabri, the many instruments at Mount
quency band at a time; meteors (shooting stars)
Stromlo and a private observatory in Gilgandra.
actually happen all the time, but city lights block
This constitutes about twenty hours of driving in
one long weekend, fortunately by coach.
a professional astronomer as a guide, we had a
behind-the-scenes look at some of Australia’s topastronomical equipment.
Greg went to Melbourne for a week to help induct
Karen was fascinated particularly by the spec-
new graduates into HP. Since this was just around
troscope that Sydney University was building at
the time for our anniversary (five years!) we de-
cided to extend it to a weekend and Karen came
in progress. It was designed to work out what
for Friday through to Sunday. On the Saturday
chemicals exist in distant stars based on the
(the actual day of our anniversary) we went for a
tiny fragments of colour that they each produce.
Spread out over what could easily constitute a
Most people choose a walking tour to see tourist
model trainset table, we were only allowed in the
attractions, but we had better ideas – we found
morning (so that by evening the air disturbances
a suggested tour to see famous Melbourne book-
we made would have settled down). The mea-
surement equipment was a mass of badly laid-
prowess, we managed to get lost and confused al-
out tangled wires and half-assembled computer
most immediately – the first destination was “the
parts, which distinctly reminded her of Greg’s
site of” a famous store, now mostly office build-
ings, but in ignorance we kept searching for some-
Greg had actually minded the Narrabri telescope
between Christmas and New Year in 1994, and
Eventually we sorted ourselves out, and later
went to great pains to show Karen where he had
found a second-hand bookstore (the only thing
spent his time (mostly playing SimCity and com-
of interest was over $1000, so we decided against
pletely failing to understand any of the data being
it), a children’s bookstore (lots of purchases for
nephews and nieces) and a language bookstore,
Mount Stromlo had some particular delights – au-
tomatic, remote-controlled astronomy (if one par-
ted some interesting finds – Greg bought Asterix
ticular satellite receives a burst, it sends a mes-
in Esperanto (which constituted the store’s com-
sage down to a detector at Mount Stromlo, which
plete offering in that language) and Karen bought
opens up as quickly as it can to photograph it
an adventure novel in Bahasa (simply because
before it goes away. After all, a telescope is just
it would not have been available in any Bahasa-
a large camera, and we have had remote-controls
We then stumbled upon a fairground, where
Out in the Australian outback, the skies are very
Karen got vertigo from a ferris wheel and Greg
clear, so we took Greg’s telescope. The tour group
found himself wedged into a roller-coaster because
also had one, and in the freezing cold of Gilgandra
it was never designed for someone his size.
We caught up with some of Karen’s Malaysian
ing projects to do – a satellite internet connection,
friends living in Melbourne and then, after taking
synchronising servers across the internet and de-
Karen back to the airport, Greg had the fun of
veloping some new questionaire software.
confusing a Melbourne taxi driver who took himto his hotel that he had in fact been in Melbournefor several days now, and had not in fact got off
Greg only managed six out-of-town trips this year,including Singapore and Bangalore. Karen was
unable to come on either of the overseas trips –which is ironic because she is the one that actually
Just to prove that we can’t go an entire year with-
likes curries and would have enjoyed the many
out going to Brisbane, Greg had two-and-a-half
weeks of work to do there. Karen went up with
For those of you who have never been to India,
him for the weekend of the first week and we
here are a few of Greg’s observations.
stayed at her sister’s place. We didn’t actuallydo anything much there other than play with our
• It’s impossible to recognise any of the cars
on the road, since they are all locally made,
Greg spent the following weekend cycling around
and all look like 1950s Austin Minors (and
Brisbane (it was very flat, so it suits his fitness
level). The work itself proved frightening beyondimagining as he discovered the actual state of one
• Cars don’t actually stop at traffic lights, but
of Queensland’s most important pieces of criti-
they will if there is a cow at the junction.
cal computing infrastructure. He also helped a
• The IT training centre Greg was at had a
newly-met friend set up a computer network, the
permanent internet connection, but no mains
result of which was enough boxes of chocolates to
feed every visitor for the next six months.
Greg’s nerdiness is legendary, and can proudly
• The hotel lobby shops don’t sell things like
proclaim to have programmed on his laptop in
power adapters for foreign electrical devices
the lobbies of most of Asia’s famous hotels. In
(Greg has an unrivalled collection of them
Brisbane he expanded his horizons and started
programming on his laptop in restaurant malls.
sell computer based training products fordatabase systems. (Bangalore employs thesecond greatest number of programmers in
the world after Silicon Valley, which con-tributes to this phenomenon.)
Karen successfully stayed at the one job for awhole year, and got promoted to assistant man-
• Australian Imodium is no match for Indian
bacteria – Greg lasted four days before his
months’ maternity leave and then deciding whatto do from there.
The Zoroastrians who live in northern India are
Greg’s work started off troubled this year with
the only religion other than Christianity that be-
him having to lay off everyone except himself, and
lieves in salvation by grace (i.e. that as human
then slowly picked up later in the year to hav-
beings there is nothing we can do to become good
ing two casuals. This includes Greg’s good friend
or earn God’s favour). Unfortunately, they are
Damian who started taking over for his teaching
non-evangelical and endogenous (they only marry
work. During the year there were some interest-
other Zoroastrians, and no-one else is allowed to
become one). This does reduce their possibilities
for long-term survival. They currently face an-other issue to do with their funeral rites – they
Karen had a burst of enthusiasm and bought her-
leave their dead on a mountain-top and wait for
self a sewing machine this year, with a view to
vultures to eat it. Unfortunately, the vultures are
making some maternity wear. Unfortunately, it
sick and dwindling in numbers. The current plan
turns out that it’s not sufficient just to buy it,
is to build solar reflectors to help soften the bod-
you actually have to use it. This dampened down
ies to make for better eating. Greg’s alternative
her enthusiasm somewhat and she has been busily
option (that no-one is paying any attention to) is
taking lessons off all and sundry to learn more.
for people to pay in advance for buying an im-
One of the challenges she faces is that although
ported vulture for their own (or someone else’s)
she supposedly learned to sew at school, all the
funeral – he calls this a “pre-paid gift vulture”.
words were in Bahasa. Even easy patterns writ-
Photographs with bizarre captions for the trip
ten in English have terms that she had not seen
www.ifost.org.au/~gregb/Photos/India-July2001. Greg describes sewing as female geekery. In the
same way that computing is a male-dominatedfield with arcanery, an incomprehensible vocabu-lary and a never-ending quest for additional pieces
and parts, he claims that sewing is a female-dominated field of arcanery, vocabulary and part-
We started hosting a Bible study at our house
which was in theory for the youth. In actual fact
Karen is convinced that it must have a very strong
it was mostly people our own age group who came,
mechanical engineering foundation because she
which has made it a lot of fun for us – there is no
finds it unnervingly complex and confusing. She
pressure on us to provide any actual leadership.
worked herself up to doing a complete design on
We discovered that it’s more fun cooking leisurely
her own only by December. It did not turn out
for ten rather than hurriedly for two, so quite of-
quite as she expected. If anyone is interested in
ten we had dinner as a group before-hand as well.
buying a pair of half-upside-down harem breeches(as opposed to harem pants) in purple, just let us
We have been playing more regularly at the morn-
ing services at Carlingford Baptist. Greg has beenscheduled on to play the organ, for which he al-ways brings a synthesiser instead since he isn’t
co-ordinated enough to use his feet and hands atthe same time. We’ve realised that we’re getting
A sense of direction is not something either of us
terribly old for our youth service – there have been
have had much of, so this year we started counting
a couple of occasions this year when we were the
up the number of times we drove into the wrong
two oldest in the band! – but we’re still playing
driveway coming home. So if any of you ever want
anyway because there aren’t many keyboardists
to drop over to our place, you might want to give
a second thought about following us, because we
Our church finally appointed a new pastor from
go to the wrong house at least once a month. But
Taree, whose sermons we have been enjoying.
feel free to drop by and say hello any time you
Greg took to taking sermon notes, firstly on a
Psion, and then later on his Agenda (small Palm-like digital assistant). This has the odd side-effect
Karen and Greg Baker – December 15th, 2001
that he appears to be asleep with his head downthroughout the whole sermon, which has provokeda comment or two.