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Training for second kyu. I am seriously thinking about asking Sensei to give me another year.Shomenuchi Ikkyo Omote. Every test it gets Harder.Every test theres more stuff to think about and then forget about thinking about. I get up to demo, Do it again. Do it again. Do it Again.
At least he hasn't yet told me I'm being too brutal, considering how angry I am these days its surprising. Funny, I took up a martial art because I had a lot of anger and learned that you really cannot apply anger energy to aikido. Kinda defeats the Purpose!
Suwariwaza. OY VEY. First, lets call me up to demo uke. Then lets practice for a while, and then lets call me up to demo nage while everybody else rests their knees. And then lets do the ura...my toes hurt and its only just begun

sez Janet:but (to quote myself) you suck at a higher level now!

me:
And to give myself *some* credit, the dojo was still full of paint fumes and I know that they were affecting me. And my ukes were pretty much all white belts,I did one of the suwariwazas with an 11-year-old who anticipated the defense and positions herself "correctly",and the guys are basically bricks...
I'm just not certain that I can give Sensei what he is Looking For on this one.

Janet:hmm. I say, trust the process, don't think about 'what he is Looking For", just train/prep cos the way aikido plateaus/spurts, there is plenty of time for growth/breakthrough between now and test time.