Unless you’ve directly experienced bullying, you may not realize just how devastating it can be, especially to a child or teenager. These days, bullying can be found in any age group starting as early as preschool and continuing all the way into the workforce. There is no doubt that bullying can result in stress, anxiety, a lowered self-esteem, and even depression for those who find themselves a target.

After recently learning that my niece had been struggling with being bullied in school I decided to shed some light on the topic and provide a bit of guidance. While there are many different forms of bullying weather physical, mental, or emotional there are certain things you can do to help fight back without using your fists. Here are 5 tips for overcoming bullying in your life.

1. You are not to blame. As a target of bullying it’s easy to blame yourself but the truth is, it’s not your fault. Remember, no matter what someone says or does, you should not be ashamed of who you are or what you feel. Be proud of who you are and note the many wonderful things about yourself.

2. Learn to deal with stress. Relieving stress can help make you more resilient so you won’t feel overwhelmed by bullying. Take the time to participate in a stress relieving activity or learn breathing techniques to help you overcome bullying.

3. Share your feelings. Whether you’re a child or a parent, talking to someone about your feelings can make a huge difference in the way you feel, even if nothing changes in your situation. Talk to a coach, friend, counselor, parent, or family member.

4. Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. The truth is, you can’t control everyone around you. In fact, the only person you can control is yourself. Rather than stressing out, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to bullies.

5. Seek help. If your child is the target of bullying it’s important to seek help and guidance from a teacher, counselor, or principal. If you are experiencing bullying personally at work discuss the problem with your supervisor. Together you can help overcome the bullying taking place.

As a bonus, boost your confidence. People who are bullied often have a low self-esteem and self-worth. Boost your confidence by working out, releasing natural endorphins, or doing something else you love to help you gain joy. After all, you deserve it.