First off: If you didn’t read my earlier post on my quest for the iPhone 4, then you should catch up now: Link If you don’t want to read it, then let me give you the cliff notes: I want a new iPhone. My wife is an evil dictator and said no. I said I would lose weight if she would let me have one. She said, get to 165 lbs and then you can have one. My wife is an evil tyrant.

How did I do after one week? Three words sums it up nicely:

FUCK YOU JARED!

I think I should just pre-order the iPhone 4 right now. Lets go to the official week one weigh-in shall we?

Wife and daughter still bored out of their effing minds.

Booooyah Beyotches!

At my first official weigh-in I was 177.5 and just for fun I checked a day later and I was 178.5. Great start huh?

Today at my first official week one weigh-in, which I did 3 times just to make sure it was consistent, I am at 171.5. (Minus 6 pounds overall.) For those who said it couldn’t be done, SUCK IT!

I will say I have worked out 5 of the 7 days (may hit it tonight as well to make it 6 out of 7) and I’ve really cut back on my calories. I’m on a 1700/day calorie diet and I think I’ve been averaging about 1300 a day. So, the double shot of cardio and less food equals = WEIGHT LOSS. Simple math really.

LOSE IT!

I must also say this Lose It! app is a great app to easily keep up with your daily calories intake. It was a recommendation from Gwen and Mirella and they were both on the money with this. The app is FREE and very simple and it helps keep me in touch with my calories and exercise. That and I’m awesome as shit. Can’t get an app for that, I was just born awesome as shit.

The Biggest Loser

I told all of you I was a big loser and look at me now. Wait, what did I say? I’m well on my way to my target goal of 165. When I hit that that goal, this BIGGEST LOSER will be talking on a brand new Apple iPhone 4. I don’t expect the weight loss to be this big every week but I do expect to be heading in the right direction every week.

Week one Scorecard

Happy Father’s Day

Me and the munchkins at a Parade this weekend.

Thanks for reading Atomic Gator, your one stop weight loss headquarters. I just realized that losing weight is not nearly as funny as gaining weight.

Place your bets!

BY THE WAY> Who ever picks the correct date that I hit 165 or is the closest to that date will receive one free call from me on my new iPhone 4. I will personally de-virginize my phone with a call to you. Leave a comment below, leave a date and let the games begin. By the way, update your date at any time, I don’t give a shit, this isn’t rocket science. If 2 people pick the same exact correct date, fuck it, I’ll call you both!

Yes, my wife was briefed about what I said, and then I let her read it. She was okay, she honestly could really give a shit about “my little blog”

Thanks for the love. I’ll head over to your site and return the favor. Your shit better be entertaining or you owe me!
Don’t congrats me on the weight loss, this is all about the phone. I plan on ballooning up to 300lbs after I get it.

I am now going to blame you for the hour of my 30s I will never get back because I just downloaded Lose it! on my iPhone and entered every horrible thing I ate today. Stupid father’s day and the pancakes I made for my husband.

What I love about Lose it! are the big red letters that tell you that you have exceeded your daily calorie allotment by 75%.

Rich: I was briefly concerned about your unrealistic approach to a long-term healthy lifestyle, but then I remembered. It’s all about the phone. I’m going to go with July 9th, since I’m the conservative friend (socially–not politically–speaking).

I think the world will be a better place when you get your damn iPhone 4. Then you’ll be able to think of something else to post about. 😉 Good luck!

I told you I love the application Loose it! isn’t it great?
If you want to pay a little bit more money you can get the Go Wear FIt arm band… it is addictive, but I guess if you had to pay for it you’d rather get yourself the new Iphone 🙂

You look good Rich in the picture with your kids, now Brian cannot come up with your lookalike anymore lol lol lol.
Seriously you look like Nicolas cage and andy Garcia…. if only you were not OVERWEIGHT hahaha (teasing!)

I’m totally late on this here blog, but you drew me in with cartoons sucking. I had planned to post a comment but then I saw that you featured the crazy bitch GaGa so I got offended, but then you reeled me back in with “Fuck you Jared”.

So, I gather you have to lose about 7 pounds. My guess date is July 3rd. Why July 3rd? because you will mentally starve and exercise yourself to death knowing you can reward yourself with some good old fashioned American BBQ the following day. Best wishes.

PS: I’m also on a health plan and need to drop 17 pounds but my blog isn’t half as entertaining as yours is.

I appreciate your honesty. to be honest myself, I wasn’t sure what way to go with the whole Gaga deal. I usually just rip assholes no problem but something told me to try to do something unpredictable and try and do the hard story and see her as a bad ass. Anyway, I tried and I think the post was so-so.

Glad I won you back with Cartoons and with Fuck you Jared, that makes me happy. Come back often. Good luck with you weight loss, I’ll check your blog out as well.