June 24, 2011

Honestly, I don’t mind not using Blackberry anymore… Then again, the only emotional attachment I have towards it, is because the phone was a gift from The Hubby and the fact that I’m able to chat with him anytime, anywhere. Not that we’re doing that much these days. He’s so busy… isk… isk…

June 17, 2011

So, Hannah Yeoh is a Chinese, her husband is an Indian. They want to register their daughter as “Anak Malaysia”. What is wrong with that picture?

On the other side of this bumi bertuah, I am a Malay and The Hubby is a Melanau (No, Melanau is not Malay, please correct your understanding). Our daughter is registered as Melanau.

Here’s the story, I went to JPN to register Baby Hana. In the form, I filled up her race as “Melanau”. Ten minutes later, the lady at the counter called me to confirm this bit of fact. I affirmed the status and with a smile on my face, I asked is there something wrong with it? She replied to say that some people does not want to do that. So I said, well, I wrote it in the form, so we want it that way.

Now, I have no problem about this, I am curious why other people is? What is it about being “Anak Malaysia”? Everyone knows we are all Anak Malaysia since Dr. Sam sang it out loud in the 80s. But, still, it is not a race.

I am not being racist here. Your race is your legacy. It’s your root. Yes, we could’ve register Baby Hana as a Melayu, no doubt about it. That’s the beauty of a mixed marriage. It does not mean she is less a Melayu because we did not register her as such. And it does not mean she is less Melanau just because she hasn’t been to Sarawak yet.

And “Anak Malaysia” is not a race. So why would you put it in the race column? Your nationality is already being defined as a Malaysian. That’s the reason who hold a MyKad. Legally, no non-Malaysian will hold a MyKad.

The best thing the government can do is to do away with the race column. For demographic purpose, just identify as Bumi or non-Bumi. Then again, this is another matter which can cause butthurt in many people. So, let’s just leave it for the sake of the current topic.

Also, do away with the race column in so many other forms from banks, associations, job applications, loyalty card applications, etc. There is no need for it to be there in this case.

So to Hannah Yeoh and Husband, although I’m touched you’re willing to do away with your roots recognition, I am sure your kid will still learn both legacies, but I don’t agree with the “Anak Malaysia” idea. You should modify the way you fight your cause.

And to the so called human rights activists who are fighting for “racism in Malaysia”, I would like to say that before you started your war, there hardly a “racial tension”. People respect each other’s backgrounds and religions. You all have hidden agendas and making normal people like myself go berserk for no reason. If I can turn you lot into frogs, I will.

If I were to fight for racism, I would start in the office where there are different races around, but the people using their race dialect when talking about work. Use English lah if you feel using Bahasa Malaysia means creating racial tension. Blurgh!

June 13, 2011

When I first read about Obedient Wives Club (Kelab Isteri-isteri Taat) on my Twitter timeline, I thought it was… interesting. Lots of rage and sarcastic comments made me curious to know what was it all about.

Upon reading the news update, I was emotional. While people keep on hyping about how the club promotes wives’ sexual prowess to ensure husbands’ fidelity, I was outraged to read the founder’s statement; “abused wives deserve it because they did not make their husbands happy”. How can a woman said that to another woman? It was as if she was under some kind of brain washing sedative that made her incoherent.

After my rage subsided, I decided that there could be a mistake. Maybe either of these two things (or both) happened:

The founder did not prepare a proper press statement and she got a little too excited to promote her cause

The founder’s statement was taken out of proportion by the press

Now, I do not know which happened, but until to date, there is no official press conference called by the club to clarify the matter. What I have read in the news so far, it seems like the club members agree with the following:

A woman deserve the abuse she receives because she does not know how to make her husband happy

A woman needs to be better than a first class prostitute to entertain her husband in the sack

A woman is responsible for her husband’s fidelity/infidelity

While I agree that sexual relationship between husband and wife is important, it is not the center of a relationship. It is what spice the relationship. And a relationship needs more than sex to flourish and be strong. What’s more, both the husband and wife are responsible in the relationship, they both are accountable for their actions. A great bedroom activity does not guarantee a loyal husband; or a loyal wife for that matter. All male friends that shared their views on this topic agree that sexual relationship is not the only thing that keep the relationship intact.

It is a good idea to promote healthy relationship between husbands and wives. It is great that they realise sex plays an important role. But it is absurd to be comparing a wife to that of a prostitute. It is degrading.

It is also good to encourage wives to obey their husbands; we know some wives are stubborn, we admit that. Allah SWT said we should obey so long as it is not against Islam. And Islam promotes love and dignity, as such would you obey if your husband asks you to act like a prostitute, even if it’s only for him?

Bottom line, relationship takes two to make it work. I hope the founder or representative from the club will quickly make an official statement to really share clear direction and objective of the club. Here’s to hoping there was a miscommunication somewhere that resulted this issue exploding.

June 10, 2011

Yeay! Alhamdulillah! Lots of things are happening for me now. It is impacting the family indirectly, in a good way, insyaAllah. Truth be told, never despair, for He will grant your wish when it is best for you in every way. It’s okay if we have to wait a little while to get the things that we want, because when it happens, it feels magical.

One by one, the puzzle pieces are falling into place. InsyaAllah in time, if able, I will share them with you my friends. Suffice to say, I am thankful and in no way I am bragging, I just have to put my feelings into words before they overwhelm me. This is a post that is close to my heart, a way to remind myself that I must always be patient and be thankful.

My loyal readers (heh! is there? haha… perasan bagus sikit) will already know by now that I have always said that I almost always get things that I want very late. I do not need to replay the same old track again. I just want to remind myself that there’s always blessings in disguise for everything that has happened. And I want to remember the feeling of getting my wishes come true however late, however far in between. I want to remember the smile on my face and the warmth that spread all over me chasing the dread away.

It is so uplifting when you get responses like “Great job!” or “Well done!” or “Excellent work!”. Yes, it’s human’s appreciation that makes us, normal people feel a little bit happier than before. But I should not forget who made that possible. It is He, working His magic. Therefore, I am thankful to Him. And when I receive words of appreciation, I now know it comes from Him.

Before, it was very difficult for me to accept compliments. I am terrible at receiving unexpected gifts. I felt I don’t deserve them. Don’t ask me why I felt that way, I do not know the reason. But these days, I slowly be more receptive, and I pray every time I receive human appreciation and applause, it makes me more humble than before.

June 1, 2011

Ever since I started to be active on Twitter, I get to read a lot of quotes, sayings and opinions. Some are good, some – not so good. Some wisdom, some trolls. It’s really about filtering what you’re reading.

There is one celebrity that I am following. Her musings are worth to be read. While I agree on her idea of children upbringing, not many of us are lucky enough to have enough means as she does. I might be assuming a lot, but as I see it, she has the freedom to choose when she wants to take an assignment and when she wants to be home with her children. Lucky her. She must have several silent incomes under her belt.

It is true when people say that a woman, once she becomes a mother, her thoughts are mostly for her child and how best she can be a great mother to her child. If she is a working woman, the thought of leaving the job crosses the mind often. Of course, if one breadwinner is sufficient, it can happen in an instant. But for someone like me, it is not as easy. In fact, we are thinking how to get more without sacrificing the time with the child.

I miss my daughter when I’m at work. But since I started working after my confinement period, never once I call home to check with Mak or Abah on how Baby Hana is doing. I know if I do that, I will start making it a habit. And I am confident that under the care of my parents, my baby will be fine, insyaAllah.

In the morning, if I do not have pressing matters in the office, I will bathe Baby Hana, feed her and put her to bed for her morning nap. These days, since she can sleep on her own, after the morning ritual of bathing and playing and feeding, I will just put her on the bed, and go get ready for work. Baby Hana will be sleeping by the time I’m ready for work. Give her a kiss and whisper sweet things and leave for work. Once at work, I put Baby Hana at the back of my mind and concentrate on work. Finish with work, I will go straight home as soon as I am able. And after putting the EBM in the fridge, I will go and get my daughter immediately. I know she misses me too because she will hold on to me tightly.

Babies are geniuses. Don’t think they don’t understand or they don’t know anything. They use their brains more than adults use theirs. When a baby babbles, I truly belief that she is communicating in her own words. But the meaning is still the same. You ask the baby how was her day, and she will respond. Sometimes she continues babbling even when you want to ask a different question. Try listening to the tone and watch the facial expression. There is hurt there and sometimes frustration. But babies are very forgiving. Give them kisses and hugs, tell them that you love them, a big smile will quickly replace the frown.

Convince them you want to be with them as much as they want you around all the time. Just give whatever time you have for your kids and always be available for them. I might not be able to be around as much as I like to, but I am sure my daughter understands. I pray one fine day I will have as much freedom as the celebrity, and I can be with my daughter whenever I want to.