Mark Duplass, whom you may know alternatively as one of the stars of The League and as the director of Cyrus, Jeff, Who Lives At Home, and The Puffy Chair, recently tweeted his 19-year-old review of Richard Linklater’s Before Sunrise, the first of the Sunrise/Sunset trilogy, for his high school newspaper, published in 1995, when Duplass would’ve been 18.

There aren’t too many filmmakers whose work you could call “psuedo-intellectual,” “self-indulgent,” and “mostly-plotless” in the midst of an almost unqualified rave, but I said many of the same things in my own review of Richard Linklater’s Boyhood almost two decades later. I guess you could say me and acclaimed director and television star Mark Duplass are a lot alike.

I’m glad Mark Duplass grew up to be an actor/writer/director and not a film critic like me. For his sake. I mean, not everyone’s cut out for this kind of work. It’s a rough pony, this gig, but someone’s gotta ride it, you know? It takes a pair of thick legs and an iron crotch to make it work. And besides, the last thing we need is another film critic. It’s bad enough with Pete Hammond eating the skins off the chicken at all our parties. Everyone hates that guy.

Artsy-fartsy and Comedy tend to be mutually exclusive. Mostly in focus and mumbly improv are not exactly good performances and well shot in my book and I’d need footnotes or a Chuck Lorre laugh track to know where the legitimate laughs were.

You know, I get one of you dipshits in here making your dumb “OLD NOOZ, BRAH” comments every time I post an old letter or something and I can never quite understand it. Do you just hate old letters and historical artifacts? Do you enjoy congratulating yourself for being able to read a date in a fucking headline? Or is it that you were actual high school classmates with Mark Duplass and thus were privy to this review before he posted it this week on Twitter? I honestly don’t get it except for the part where you have to try to convince us how many better, cooler things you might be doing other than reading and commenting on an article no one forced you to click on in the first place. Phew. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. Anyway, there’s a dildo fire down the road you might want to check out.

So can someone explain to me why this guy always gets cast as a romantic lead or the guy all the chicks want to bang (see The League)? Dude’s face looks like the offspring of a Thwomp and Goomba from Super Mario Bros.