Hi guys. Since I'm now an Editor at IGN, I've switched account names. Please follow me at JaredPetty-IGN, and on Twitter at pettycommajared. Thanks everyone. Bowled over by the outpouring of goodwill from the community. - 2 years ago

Before the internet, print strategy guides were one of the few sources for game hints and cheats. The medium is almost extinct, but I get a lot of enjoyment out of scouring used bookstores and collecting these little relics of history. I've built up quite a collection over the years, and I was delighted when just last week I found the very rare little gem photographed above.

I stumbled upon this guide among the moldy discards of a library book sale. The paperback cover was in surprisingly good shape considering the vintage of the text. I paid the 25 cents to the librarian and took the book home. Turning to the beginning, I read:

Ok, I'm eligible. US residency, age, and legal status all check out. I've worked as a freelancer for two IGN affiliates, (1UP and Gamespy), but neither within the past six months, so under the official contest rules I'm in the clear.

With that out of the way, I flipped ahead a little.

"Hey," I thought, "I can do that!" With a little over a week to work, I whipped up a short text adventure featuring IGN Editors and prominent industry personalities. Thanks to the good folks who developed the Inform 7 IDE, you can play the game online by clicking below. It's an integral part of my entry, so get to it!

Once you're finished playing, read on. Spoilers below!

Despite the brevity of The Beard's Tale (only ten rooms rooms, including one hidden), the text contains a number of references to video games old and new:

Both the Magic Glasses and the Orb are elements of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. While wearing the Magic Glasses and fighting Richter Belmont, the player can see an Orb floating nearby, controlling Richter. Destroying the Orb frees Richter of Shaft's mind control and allows him to access the Inverted Castle.

The Kitchen in Beard's Tale is modeled after the kitchen in Maniac Mansion, including the chainsaw on the knife rack and the ability to microwave the hamster. Examining the counter top will find that it's SCUMMy, a reference to the Lucasarts SCUMM engine.

When you look at the chainsaw, a message from DOOM appears.

The spinning health pack is a staple of many early FPS games.

The combination to Peter Molyneux's safe is the Mike Tyson code from Punchout!! It also serves as a keypad combination in Super Paper Mario.

The arcade contains several classic games, as well as a few personal favorites from the old Anderson University Student Union Building. Examining each game reveals a short commentary.

Peter Molyneux cowers under a Halo 3 force field.

Will Wright is wounded by the sharp edge of an Apple Pippin controller. The Pippin was a failed Japanese console based on Macintosh hardware. The Pippin's boomerang controller had a pair of strange pointed edges which made it look somewhere between idiotic and weapon-like.

Characters mention Fez, Portal, and Sonic: Dark Brotherhood. The descriptive text of Will Wright takes a jab at Spore. The Exalted One alludes to Grim Fandango. Kratos from God of War is briefly invoked, and at one point Peter Molyneux refers to Resident Evil. Rage and Gabriel Knight 3 also sneak into the text.

One of Bioware's famous dialog trees shows up.

A Sega Master System in Kentia Hall is playing music from The Dinosaur Dooley, a South Korean game featuring unlicensed digital renditions of early nineties alternative rock, including Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

Both "Grumble, Grumble," and the text in the Secret Room come from Zelda.

There are also a number of cameos by real-world game journalists. Seven IGN editors (one hidden) and one special guest editor make appearances in the game. Developers Will Wright and Peter Molyneux also appear as potential allies.

What Does All This Have to Do with Blogging E3?

While the writing in my game is hardly Shakespeare, it's cute enough to demonstrate competency. I crammed a lot of content into a few words, which is a necessary quality in good journalism. I also showed that I have more than a passing familiarity with the brands of popular culture that IGN covers.The immersion of playing a game draws the reader into the material. I could have started this blog by listing skills I possess and games I like, but isn't it more fun to learn that through playing? Call it "edutainment." Or don't, because I hate that word.

Making this game demonstrates my suitability for serving as Community Blogger by showing I'm not afraid to work. Designing and coding even a simple video game takes a lot of time.I also only found out about this contest ten days before deadline, and threw this whole thing together during that period while working a full time job, which shows an ability to create quality, interesting content under time constraint. That aptitude should really help me cover the fast-paced three day madhouse of E3 coverage.

I do a little freelancing every now and then. My last piece was for Kurt Kulata's HG101. I interviewed Robert Woodhead, creator of the influential RPG Wizardry: Proving Grounds of the Mad Overlord. The short feature article I wrote about that interview wasn't bad. I'm not going to link to it since the contest rules say not to post recycled material, but if you wish to read it you can find it on Hardcore Gaming 101.

This is the section of this blog I'm most excited about. I have some ideas that have potential to produce solid content built around a one week calendar.

Tentative Blogging Calendar

A Few Days Before E3 (June 2, 3 and 4):

I'll begin working in my official role on June 2, when I'll begin posting three days of E3 Countdown Blogs. I'll construct these around asking the community for questions they want answered during E3. I will then address some of the best of these in an IGN Community E3 Primer which I'll post on June 4, the day before the convention begins.

Example questions:

Is there any hope for Vita?

What will be the fate of used games in the next console generation?

How does the Wii U hardware and software stack up against previous console launches?

The Prime will serve as a launching point for the Community Blogs, building repertoire with the Community and drawing users further into IGN's E3 coverage. As Community Blogger, I intend to represent the Community by learning what they're interested in and then doing my best to provide relevant content.

Every Day During the Show (June 5, 6 and 7):

To keep things manageable during the grueling E3 schedule, I'll focus on four sections in each daily blog.

The Big News: Impressions on the surprises, megatons and flops.

Travelogue: A concise personal account of the weirdness and wonder of covering E3.

Small Booth of the Day: Video games are a huge industry with lots of tiny companies trying to make a living. Every day I'll track down a small developer, publisher, or vendor and find out what under-publicized goodness they have to offer the world.

Micro-Podcasts: I'll rustle up somebody, be it a couple of editors, a developer, or a wide-eyed fanboy and coordinate a short podcast to tickle the ears of IGN listeners.

After the Show (June 9 or 10):

I'll compose a comprehensive Postmortem of the whole event with the benefit of sleep and hindsight, and offer my own personal awards for the community to debate or berate.

Well, I'm hardly a poet, but I played Muramasa. And I love that Bowser haiku from Super Mario RPG. Okay...5-7-5.

Glamour and hype meet

critical eyes at E3.

Which will win the day?

I've addressed each of these requirements in detail. My submission is high quality, with a full video game, a workable plan for blogging the convention, and a well-executed framework build around a video game guide. The game and guide frameworks also display creativity. The Beard's Tale demonstrates knowledge of video games and the video games industry in an interactive space. My commitment is demonstrated by the amount of work put to useful purpose in preparing the extensive, clean text. I also believe my realistic but strenuous calendar shows dedication to gathering, parsing and disseminating information to the community.

I know this sounds hokey, but I think it matters that I try to be a decent and ethical person. Members of the press should operate with a base decorum, as should guest bloggers representing your company and brand. I won't embarrass IGN or myself with my conduct.

I promise to conduct myself professionally.

I promise to listen carefully to the editors and do what I'm told.

I promise to have fun.

I promise to keep a sense of humor.

I promise to serve the community with diligence and humility.

This community shares a common delight in stepping outside the doldrums of reality and wasting a little time in lands of make believe. Video games are the door we walk through to reach those fantastic destinations. I hope you found this silly little blog amusing. That really is the point, after all: to have fun.