"This is the baseball."

"You were making out during 'Schindler's List'?"

The Oscars take place tonight, and the whole world is wondering: When will Winslet win one?*

*I don't usually explain references, but I don't think enough people have seen "Extras" to appreciate that joke. There's an episode in which Kate Winslet is doing a movie about the Holocaust only because she believes that every movie about the Holocaust wins an Oscar. So now, tonight, Winslet is nominated for an actual Oscar about an actual movie about the Holocaust, and that's simply awesome.

Where was I? Ah, yes, the Oscars. I thought I'd assist some of my movie-loving readers with three-word reviews of the nominees for "Best Picture":

Frost/Nixon: Haven't seen it.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Heard it's awful.

Milk: Only drink skim.

Slumdog Millionaire: Heard it's great.

The Reader: Thought-provokingly adequate.

All right, so I've only actually seen one of the nominees. That could be part of the reason I wasn't asked to be a member of the Academy. But I can tell you what's going on with the Indians, so let's just go with what we know, all right?

EXCRUCIATING MINUTIA OF THE DAY...

The big news of the day was that Travis Hafner took BP outdoors with his teammates this morning. He was on Field No. 1, which is the one designed with Progressive Field's exact dimensions. One of his first swings was a shot off the 19-foot wall. He also hit a couple out to right -- not quite to "Pronkville" but close enough.

Hafner said he still feels some soreness in the mornings, but, all in all, the shoulder hasn't given him any major issues. He'll likely begin facing live pitchers the first week of March or so, then progress to the Cactus League games from there.

How troublesome was that shoulder last year? Hafner said it would sometimes hurt to eat. And no, that's not how he lost all that weight. Anyway, more on Hafner on the Indians.com site in a little bit.

Shin-Soo Choo had to leave the field early in today's workout after he collided with Grady Sizemore during a pop-up drill. Sizemore's knee struck and bruised Choo's right knee. Choo wasn't gone long. He came back about 20 minutes later after getting quick treatment in the trainer's room, and he wasn't walking with a limp.

Choo, for the record, will leave here Tuesday for the World Baseball Classic. Team Korea will practice in Korea for three days, then head off to Japan.

Looking like Grady Sizemore, Mark DeRosa, Choo and Rafael Perez will be the Indians' only big-league participants in the World Baseball Classic

The Indians have signed off on the contracts for nine of their pre-arbitration players - Josh Barfield, Shin-Soo Choo, Aaron Laffey, John Meloan, Adam Miller, Anthony Reyes, Tony Sipp, Jeremy Sowers and Wyatt Toregas. There are 14 remaining pre-arb players on the roster, and it's expected three or four more signings will be made in the next few days.

If you're in the area and are interested in attending, the Indians' intrasquad game is at 1 p.m. local time Tuesday.

8 Comments

There are only three things in this world that I would rather NOT do than watch Ed Mujica pitch in a Cleveland Indians uniform:
(3) watch Caddyshack 2
(2) be forced into conversation with Bill O’Reilly
(1) something involving a vice grip and my daddy parts

Conversely, as opposed to watching Mujica pitch for Cleveland I will highlight some of the most obscure actions I would rather inflict upon myself:
(3) watch a 24-hour marathon on the history of the Snuggie presented by TLC
(2) watch every episode of Sex and the City… twice
(1) wear a Red Sox and/or Yankees jersey

This outfield collision is further proof that the Indians made a wise move in not trading for Mark Teahen. If Shin Soo Choo had collided with Teahen, we wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not Korea was going to excuse him from his mandatory military service because his body would have burst into tiny particles of bones, ash, and debris.

It may be true that Grady Sizemore played linebacker in high school (although his true talent was as a running back), but Mark Teahen once played defense by himself (one on eleven) while in high school, shutting out a state ranked opponent deep in the playoffs. The rest of the team fell ill after a salmonella ridden pre-game meal, except of course for Mark, who is immune.

The three nominees I saw, Milk, Slumdog and Frost/Nixon, were all great. Highly recommend ’em.

A major snub: JCVD, with Jean Claude Van Damme starring as himself. Also recommended is the not-yet released, but available if you look in the right place, I’m Keith Hernandez. Alas, AC is too busy watching a former Indian’s foreign films to take note.

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