I sometimes get into personal conversations with God in where I’m honestly asking him “how come I’m still Single?”(I don’t always ask him this. In fact, I’m often pretty content about this season, I have a lot I’ve been given to do for reals!)

I sometimes ask him, “is there anything I can do to not be single?” and guess what he tells me?

He is currently telling me to do “nothing” and then I giggle, and feel a bit sad he didn’t tell me anything else.

Do you feel my pain?

Anyway, there is a huge progress because he has told me some other stuff in prior months and years about what to do in my single season, but at this moment he is actually saying that I got “nothing” to do.

I get it, he is trying to teach me to relax. For those who truly know me, they know that there are some few things that I just don’t do very well, lol, and hopefully my future husband is excellent at those things. But in the meantime, I don’t mind struggling with doing those things or simply not getting much of that done, just kidding. But truly, it is at those struggling moments, or when I am about to go to bed that I wonder “how many more nights am I going to sleep talking to God?”

I don’t mind doing this more years, but well it sometimes gets lonely and pretty quiet, which of course I’m used to. I meet a lot of single people and as a prophetic writer, I’m going to write some things that God has in his heart, and share them with you. I’ve never been married but it’s been since 2011 that I’ve been single from being in my last relationship. In these past years, the Lord has been teaching me that the longer I wait before a season of dating that could lead to being married, the better and easier it will be when it happens.

Besides that, he has been showing me that there are pretty important stuff he wants me to prepare for, and get done during this season of being single. One of them is the completion of writing my first book. It has been harder than what I thought. I sometimes notice that God has me intentionally wanting to be at home or at some coffee shop to type. One thing is to write as a hobby, and another thing is to write to encourage and influence many people in an organized and professional manner.

However, I know I can do this. I supposed my future husband is somewhere also taking care of important things in his life, or perhaps the Lord is dealing with his heart. The Lord has been dealing with my heart so much these past years, I’m so blessed that I had to share.

Here are things you can actually do or prepare for, in a “Single” season:

Most of these things that I’ve done (and continue to do) in my journey of trusting God in a single season. Many of these bullet points are things you can actually practice in other seasons too…such as during a married season since they can also be applicable:

1) Learn to do everything out of a heart to please and love God.

2) Learn to love people well, regardless of how they treat you or if they don’t measure up to your expectations.

You know how I practice this? I go the extra mile when it comes to my close friends. I do everything I can to help my people to experience less pain and more blessing. Sometimes this means just praying every day, calling them, or visiting them. I also go the extra mile when it comes to strangers, but still need to work on this because I like to keep myself in safe situations and not be out late in the dark, when it comes to going by myself to bless others who are strangers.

3) Practice being thankful

4) Work on your financial stability

Have $0 debt; or work on paying off your credit card debt and student loans.

5) Learn to die to how you feel and to all the expectations you have about people.

6) Spend time with people who are married and have kids

These people, who are in other seasons of life have a lot of insight and encouragement to share. Hanging out with kids can always teach you how much attention they need. You might gain some amazing insights as you spend time with them. I always see how babies and toddlers cling to their parents so much, that sometimes they can’t do much because the babies need them. That means that you as a single person have a lot more free time in your hands, hope you are making both wise and creatively fun decisions.

7) Learn the basics of maintaining a house

Maintaining a house includes paying bills on time, enjoying the practice of doing weekly house chores, meal preparation, grocery shopping, do basic house repairs, scheduling).

8) Learn parenting skills!

If you never learned to take care of babies, and want to be a parent one day, perhaps this is a great season to ask someone to show you and train you (you will save time for when the time comes).

I highly encourage you to learn parenting skills if you didn’t grow up in a family where trusting God was one of their key biblical foundations!

9) Take time to reconcile with people that you have hold grudges or offenses

This is important, whether that means to just forgive in your prayer time, or to reach out (in person or via e-mail) to someone and ask for forgiveness, or to sign up to weekly therapy sessions, do it! This is important since marriage is a lifetime commitment where you might practice reconciliation and forgiveness in order to keep up with loving unconditionally. Side note: when it comes to reaching out to someone in person to ask for forgiveness, please do this through prayer and a lot of wisdom. In some situations, it’s wise to not go in person asking for forgiveness.

10) If you are a Christian, focus on Matthew 6:33 and apply it the best way you can

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” This can mean differently from season to season. For some of you, this might mean to get to know God through the bible, a community you trust, and a local church. For some others, this might mean to serve in your gifts, and continue trusting in God.

Please be mindful, that God cares more about your heart towards him, than how you can serve him and those around you.

11) Most importantly, enjoy your single season with those around you.

Know that you are not alone in this. Know that it’s okay to feel lonely and sad at times, just don’t keep dwelling on it and keeping it all to yourself though.

12) If you are a praying person, pray for the person you wish to marry someday.

Whether you have met that person or not. It doesn’t hurt to pray for someone you haven’t met. I know I wrote a huge list, I’m a writer who likes to share what has helped me so I hope this blesses you. Some things might not be things you find essential or even interesting, and that’s okay. This is your single season, so it’s up to you how you want to make the most of it.

13) Become the Person you wish to Marry

If you are ready to go Deeper into being closer to ready, although they say we will never be completely ready, you can be closer to ready by becoming the person you wish to marry. You do this by focusing in one character strength or talent and using it by serving someone.

Just remember that the longer you are single, the more whole you become. Hope you are intentional about becoming the person whom God created you to be!

You are worthy of the wait. Your selective choice for a spouse is worth your wait!

Next Steps:

1) Choose 1 or 2 things from the list I wrote, comment on the space below, and start working on those today!

2) If you would like to sign up to my online course “Love Being Single” go ahead and click HERE

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Of all the items that I liked on your list (and will also include in prayer), I chose these two to discuss and share becuase I feel that I would have hemost difficulty.

9. Take time to reconcile with people that you have hold grudges or offenses
This is important, whether that means to just forgive in your prayer time, or to reach out to someone and ask for forgiveness, or to sign up to weekly therapy sessions, do it! This is important since marriage is a lifetime commitment where you might practice reconciliation and forgiveness in order to keep up with loving unconditionally.

Generally, I’m very forgiving, but what I will pray in earnest for is the wisdom of how to conduct myself as I seek forgiveness and also forgive. I am not sure if I will go in person, though I want to; it will mean that I have to get in contact with someone who I blocked out of my life, and also someone who I am pushing away. Both are ex-boyfriends who claim to serve in Jesus’ name.

12. If you are a praying person, pray for the person you wish to marry someday.
Whether you have met that person or not. It doesn’t hurt to pray for someone you haven’t met.

I used to pray for my future husband every night. After the two most recent relationships (see above) I have stopped, but long to trust my heavenly Father and give him up, in obedience and faith.

Hey Monica, Thank you for reading and for your sincere comment. I want to point out some things that might help you in #9 and #12:

#9: if you have decided to block out people that you are forgiving, it’s wise to pray and follow God’s peace. It’s also wise to not go in person, if it will be a stumbling block or if it will cause more pain to see them. I don’t know if those people are abusive or not, so it’s good to pray and follow the Holy Spirit’s leading.

#12: I’ve learned through some forgiveness classes that when we are having a hard time praying for someone, there could be someone we need to forgive, whether that means we are to forgive someone, or even ourselves, it’s important to take the time to forgive, forgive the person for any negative feeling caused, and release the person and anything that has been said, to God. I sometimes had to forgive myself for being so harsh on myself.

Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with, praying for you Monica!

I think there’s a perfect time for everything. It might be that the person that God would like you to meet isn’t ready yet or vice versa. You’ll know when you’ve met the person, to be honest. God never makes us wait too long, he always gives things at the perfect time.

Beautiful post! I remember when I was single I struggled with trusting God. Now that I am married, I can see the times in my single life where I should have just trusted Him and His plan for my life. It’s hard to release control and trust in the Lord sometimes. I am the type of person who likes to be in control and I am also a big planner. Even now that I am married, one of my regular prayers is for God to guide me and show me how to trust in Him and follow His plan. Many blessings to you!

You have some great ideas of what to do when single!
I went a year in between my divorce and when I started dating again, and it was often challenging. It got very lonely! I learned so much about myself during that time, and now realize how beneficial it was for me.

Thank you for a very inspiring post. I have known some friends who are still single and in their mid to late 30s. They worry about not being able to have their own kids anymore, growing old alone, etc. I just always tell them to “Trust in God’s Wisdom, because His plan is not your plan, and His plan is far better.” Keep the faith. Who knows, Mr. Right or Mr. Heaven Sent is just around the corner. 🙂

Yes, talking to God is a very special way to deal with anything. He is omnipresent, so he can hear us no matter where we are, and he is able to provide us with peace for every time that we need to talk to him.

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About Coach Liliana Fung

I help people facing Procrastination, ADHD | ADD Or in Life Transitions work productively..

I like to share my journey with others. In this website, you will find resources about Depression, A.D.H.D., Launching a Business, Writing Tips, my Faith, and Tips to Improve your Health.
In my free time, if I'm not busy serving God, I'm away at the beach since I reside in Los Angeles, California.