Yeah, I agree with this. It seems like a lot of people are quick to defend feeling jealous. It doesn't seem like a good emotion if you ask me. A healthier relationship would be one where jealousy never enters into the picture.

I wouldnt say so, I would consider that indifference to be something you'd associate with an acquaintence rather than a lover.

I think most people when they are talking about jealousy arent talking about the sort of obsessive, clingy or pathological variety.

I wouldnt say so, I would consider that indifference to be something you'd associate with an acquaintence rather than a lover.

I think most people when they are talking about jealousy arent talking about the sort of obsessive, clingy or pathological variety.

Its a thread divided by a common language.

Would it be better to use a different term then? At least when I think of jealousy I imagine the clinginess, the obsession, the controlling of another person's life in order to sate some kind of insecurity, etc.

And I'm not really advocating indifference, more like a level of trust and/or loyalty that transcends jealousy? I dunno.

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” -Nietzsche

I'm noticing a trend in responses of xNTPs generally seeing jealousy as a bad sign in a relationship and xNTJs generally considering it a good sign so am curious if there actually are trends with types, so poll added, answer according to which on is truer for you.

A healthy level of jealousy (and by that I mean the occasional twinge) is beneficial for me personally, because it helps remind me not to take my partner for granted, as I am not the only person who finds her desirable. It motivates me to pick up any slack, rather than up-turn tables and scream. I take the time to evaluate myself in terms of what I already provide to the relationship and what aspects I've been neglecting.

Having said that, I am a rather jealous person. However, I make an effort to not act on my feelings around her in a destructive way. I try to rationalise my jealousy; my partner's desires and whoever pops into her life are out of my control, and if they're going to cheat, then they are going to cheat regardless of how I feel. So there's little sense in torturing myself. But, it's no use. *shrug* I peg it down to lack of relational experience.

I voted positive -- not because I think it's healthy and that everyone should be jealous, but because a little bit of it, at least to me, shows my SO cares about me and doesn't want to lose me and I think it's cute when he does that. Of course, controlling behavior or stalking is not acceptable.

I think it's unhealthy and a sign that there is no trust within the relationship. I've had an ex get mad at me for not behaving jealously because apparantly jealousy is the best sign someone cares.

Since I hate jealousy in others, I'm hardly going to behave in a manner I hate.

Do I feel a momentary pause of jealousy occasionally? I'm only human, but I refuse to show it, or to give into it because I know it's about my own issues of insecurity and I'm not going to lay that on anybody to deal with.

Me not showing that I am jealous, is not a sign I don't care, it's a sign I do care, which is why I trust instead.

And I'm not really advocating indifference, more like a level of trust and/or loyalty that transcends jealousy? I dunno.

I hear that. It's interesting how displays of trust and confidence get tied into the concept of indifference for some; with anxiety about one's worth or value as a positive sign of love, and security and confidence as something potentially negative.

There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

Everyone's different, and it needs to be evaluated in light of that. I don't think anything here is necessarily negative for the human race, although it can be negative for particular individuals.

I'm not voting in the poll, it's too restrictive.

"Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

“Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft