64 Worst: Lightning Round, Day 4 of 4

Final day of Round 2! Click the banner above for additional polls, as if the following four won’t quench your appetite… you now need to be registered and logged in to vote (or so I’m told by the polling commission), but rest assured your votes will help settle the age old debate of what actual is the very worst of L.A.

Which is worse about Los Angeles:

LA Times or the LAUSD?

No Metro Service to Dodger Stadium or Dr. Phil?

People Who Don’t Pick Up Their Dog’s Poop or Asshole Bus Drivers?

Uptalkers or Hipsters?

Which is worse? Vote once in each of the following four polls – summaries below.

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LA Times vs. the LAUSD

LA Times: The hometown newspaper that forgot long ago how to cover its hometown intimately; Can’t do any better breaking hard news in a crawling- with- prize- bait- scandals- and- epic- scumbags- who- should- be- taken- down culture like Hollywood than an endless tide of sycophantic star profiles and gee-whiz features; Still hasn’t fully quit treating its Web audience like lucky recipients of editorial wisdom rather than fellow community members and co-developers of valuable news? -Mack Reed

LAUSD: I asked some fellow teachers, “In one quick sentence, what is the worst thing about LAUSD?” Their responses? “LAUSD lacks a clear vision.” “There is too much outside interference by superiors.” “LAUSD is the DMV, court, and post office, rolled into one.” “The worst thing is that one sentence is not enough to describe how bad it is.” -Ms. Banneker

No Metro Service to Dodger Stadium vs. Dr. Phil

No Metro Service to Dodger Stadium: The Dodgers have called Los Angeles home for 50 years. To celebrate, they added 1000 parking spaces for your 4-wheeled convenience. Subway? Nope. Streetcar? Keep dreaming. Shuttle? We’re still waiting in line to get to the Coliseum. Crappy shuttles, long wait for trains, and one very blue fanbase. -Jason Burns

Dr. Phil: …is not licensed by the state of California (or anywhere!) to practice psychology. Worth noting is the Dr. Phil Crack House, which was effectively shut down by neighbors last year. Dr. Phil is a loudmouth psuedo-shrink peddling quick fixes and diet scams to the gullible and stupid. A pox on our fair town, he managed to look worse than Britney Spears during her lowest point—not an easy task. -Dr. Phil

People Who Don’t Pick Up Their Dog’s Poop vs. Asshole Bus Drivers

People Who Don’t Pick Up Their Dog’s Poop: …that certain someone believes he or she is too French well-heeled to actually dispose of feces with their hands and a plastic bag. If you are going to own a dog and walk the dog in public, you must clean up after your dog. Why is this so confusing to some of you? -Julia Frey

Asshole Bus Drivers: Pulling blindly into traffic, blowing past waiting passengers, and blocking intersections are but a few of the behaviors of asshole bus drivers. Let’s face it – anyone willing to take a job maneuvering an oversized vehicle throughout this city’s streets all day long must be a little nuts, but a not so rare breed are menaces to society, also known for cutting off bicyclists and tailgating passenger vehicles. -David Markland

Uptalkers or Hipsters

Uptalkers: …those people who end every sentence as if its a question. According the a 2001 article from the UK’s Guardian, uptalking is also known as “HRT (high-rise terminals), a speech habit that is taking over the way we talk.” -David Markland

Hipsters: If I have to walk into one more rock show/bike shop/vegetarian restaurant/art gallery/bowling alley in LA to be confronted by the ubiquitous tableaux of tiny knots of twentysomethings with their artist-designed tees, lumberjack shirts, hi-tops and profusion of facial hair, or that “I just got hit in the face with a brick” pouty-lipped, runny-mascara underslept ingenue look, continuing to chat over their Colt 45 while sliding one sidelong glance at you, over their drink, I will whip my rabid teacup Chihuahua out of my Prada purse and fling it into the crowd, shrieking and spraying spittle, like a lit firecracker. -Lucinda Michelle