What is a Fuzzball?

One question I hear more than any other is What's a Fuzzball??" Allow me to explain:

A Fuzzball is a 30-year-old fallen debutante who lives in Houston, TX with a bossy dog and an even bossier parrot who she SWEARS is the reincarnation of Napoleon Bonaparte.

A Fuzzball prefers animals to most people, because people can really suck sometimes.

A Fuzzball loves music, ALL music ALL of the time. If she's not listening to it, then she's singing it.

A Fuzzball has a mad love for all things British, especially their actors.

A Fuzzball is blissfully happy in a bookstore, preferably one with good music playing in the background. If you look under a Fuzzball's bed you'll usually find an entire library of books that she has dropped there after falling asleep reading.

Fuzzballs are usually incurable romantics, ridiculously optimistic, and bent on making the world a happier place.

Your typical Fuzzball will probably have a completely bizarre sense of humor. Just go with it, it will take you to funny places.

You should also be aware that Fuzzballs are giant nerds. Seriously. Science fiction, computers, the whole shebang.

Fuzzballs are also budding photographers. They love looking at the world through a lens and finding new ways to be creative.

Oh...and you can also look for a Fuzzball in one of the best movies ever made. ;)

But who will save the day?

I don't know about the rest of you, but in seventh grade at my school we had Life Science. A little biology, a little genetics, a little sex ed...oh man. Let's talk about sex with a bunch of 12-year-old spazzing adolescents, shall we? And they did. To be honest, I rather enjoyed sex ed because my lab partner at the time was the cutest boy in our whole grade and I got to blush at him for a whole quarter of the school year. He was dreamy...sad fact is he was the tallest and most developed boy in our grade during middle school, but then he just...stopped growing. Hm. Okay back on track: So part of sex ed was showing us those vague films about "the change" and "urges" and all of that crap which was really just an excuse for us to pass notes and giggle a lot. However there was one film that stood out, that got our attention, that made us think. Or, rather, made us laugh hysterically for years to come...

The Adventures of Captain Condom

Oh yes. I am not joking. This was a cartoon starring Captain Condom and his sidekick Lady Latex. They battled against the evil Sexually Transmitted Disease Crew. The disease characters had evil mustaches that they would twirl while cackling and snarling. It was all just too much. I don't think I'll ever forget the Captain and his trusty crew.

What has brought on this bizarre reminiscence? I have just learned that the Texas state government is holding hearings on the introduction of new high school textbooks that completely exclude any mention of contraceptives, condoms, or birth control. Instead, they are solely promoting abstinence. I'll give you a minute...

. . . . . .

Uh, yeah. I know. I plan on writing a letter or two or FIVE. I don't want kids to have sex. I don't think they're emotionally capable of making those kinds of major decisions. But I'm certainly not going to handicap them by not educating them properly! And these parents that are all up in arms about their kids learning about condoms and such...I have a wake-up call for you people: your influence on your kids is far more important than what they learn in school, at least during their adolescence. And yes, there are exceptions to every rule, don't even bother saying it. But you get my point.