Don't ask an artist if they want to collaborate on a comic! You'll suddenly find out what a bunch of humorless bastards they can be. At least that was the reception I received after posting my intentions on a website that is centred on comic art.

The posts started out as a friendly warning not to even ask! But as time wore on, other writers present started to turn my words, no matter how benign their meaning and intention. It seemed they were convinced I was talking down to them and couldn't be persuaded otherwise. Finally when it became clear that I wasn't going to get anywhere without knee-pads and chapstick, I wanted to make their tiny little heads explode by agreeing with them. I'm as flash as Michael Jackson's corpse rolled in glitter, set on fire and choreographed to "Rock me like a hurricane".

The mods went to work straight away and locked the thread, their reason was that they 'din tak kahnleh to my kine aran here' and they were humoring me. I feel so special these guys put up with me and my outrageous demands for nearly a week.

So here's a tip, next time you're talking to artists, keep your pulse rifle close and your motion sensor clicking away. One false move and they'll lay their eggs in your stomach.