Category Archives: EFT

The Law of Deservedness states, “you only get what you subconsciously feel you deserve and nothing more.” Therefore if you have a totally good feeling about yourself and your actions, you should be able to get an corresponding accumulation of money, friends, jobs and whatever else you want. Deservedness is a con. It’s an artificial construct designed to control and suppress you.

The biggest problem with The so-called Law of Deservedness is that it states you only get what you SUBCONSCIOUSLY feel you deserve and nothing more. If this feeling of deservedness is below your awareness, it’s got to be below the level of awareness of everybody else, too. Nobody can really know what’s in your subconscious so how can anybody state with 100 percent certainty that according to some universal law you are only getting what you feel you deserve at a subconscious level?

They can’t. I’m calling their bluff. No matter how good of a therapist or psychic they are, no matter how many clients they’ve treated, they can only think they know what’s in somebody else’s subconscious. Anything they say they “know” is simply them projecting or guessing.

If you are trying to raise your sense of deservedness to increase your bank account, you are falling for the ego trap of measuring yourself by some arbitrary standard. You are falling for the trap of measuring yourself at all. From a non-ego standpoint, you are infinite so there’s nothing to measure. Deservedness is also a judgment and judgment is ego garbage. Therefore any feelings of deserving or not deserving are also ego garbage. One sure way to not achieve oneness with anything is to be in judgment about it. If you are trying to be one with money, you can’t be in judgment of your bank account or yourself.

Deservedness seems like a valid concept until you see it doesn’t play out in the real world at all. Seemingly undeserving and seemingly deserving people get all sorts of riches, heartaches, friendships, jobs, hardships and glories. It’s life. Plenty of rich and poor people look at their lives and ask themselves, “How did this happen to me? I didn’t deserve this.” You can believe the undeserving lottery winner or murder victim got what they subconsciously deserved but there’s no way to know for sure.

When reincarnation enters the equation, all sorts of new and untestable computations arise. When bad events happens, you may think it’s karma from some misdeed you may have committed in ancient Rome therefore you deserved it. When good events happens, it’s also karma. If reincarnation exists then we’ve all been around long enough to have behaved heroically as well as heinously. We’ve healed the sick in one life and killed for sport in another. Just thinking about what you may or may not deserve based on past life actions allows your ego to trap you into thinking anything you experience is a result of something you can’t know about. This way of thinking leads to a victim mentality which is the antithesis of Law of Attraction/create your own reality thinking.

The idea of deservedness allows and even encourages people to get enmeshed in bad situations too long. Crap happens in your life and you say to yourself, ” Well, the world is a reflection of me so I must deserve this. I must be a bad person.” Not true.

If you are associating with toxic coworkers, you can think they are just reflections of you so you don’t feel empowered or encouraged to look for a new job. You think why bother to change your surroundings when it’s just going to follow you everywhere you go? Again, not true.

If you are in a bad relationship and you see your partner as a mirror of yourself, you might stay in that relationship longer than you should because you consciously think you deserve it. You think your lover is just mirroring back your own qualities so you stick around for what amounts to more abuse. Don’t do it. It’s not healthy. You are looking at a funhouse mirror.

When you do good things and feel good love especially towards yourself, your vibration rises so good things will happen to you but not because you deserve it. When you mix red and yellow paint, you get orange paint but you don’t deserve to get orange. Your actions and feelings are the paints of your life. When you paint the canvas of life with love, you get a great picture.

The universe doesn’t give you what you deserve. As I state in my book, Manifesting From The Heart: Using Heart Energy to Achieve Reality Transformation , the universe mirrors back what you believe love is. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, you are allowed to change it. You can change partners, jobs, houses, whatever you want. Don’t sit by passively and think, “This must be what I deserve because this is evidently how I really am inside.” You are the creator. If you love yourself, you leave abusive or unpleasant relationships. You don’t deserve them. You created them and if you don’t like what you have created, you can and should create something different and better. You are the god of your own universe. Act like it.

The whole concept of deservedness dates back to the 1600’s. In England, rich white men were considering helping out the poor but were trying to figure out who they should give their money to. Should they give it to a struggling mother whose husband died? Should they give it to an unemployed man? Should they give it to someone they considered lazy? To answer questions like those, they came up with the concept of deservedness. They decided that some people deserved help while others deserved to starve. Deservedness is a totally manmade concept and a rather arbitrary one at that.

If you ever start to feel undeserving realize it’s just your ego trying to rein you in and mess with you. Next time you feel undeserving, tap on it.

Even though I feel I don’t deserve XYZ, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Here’s the kicker. If you feel like you do deserve something, tap on it as well. It’s still ego garbage.

Even though I feel I deserve XYZ, I deeply and completley love and accept myself.

Keep tapping until you can step away from any feelings of deserving or not deserving. Screw the concept of deservedness altogether before it screws you.

Here’s another technique called the Primordial Energy Activation and Transcendence aka PEAT. It is the creation of Zivorad Slavinski. It’s similar to EFT in that is uses tapping points but you don’t tap. You hold your fingers on the points instead. And it isn’t done solo. You need someone working with you.

The goal of PEAT is to eradicate polarities in your life. Most people have some main polarity in their life. They keep going from one extreme to its opposite. It tends to persist in their lives. It’s a constant boom-or-bust swing. It isn’t always obvious but once you find it, you’ll wonder how you missed it.

Your start a PEAT session just like an EFT session. You think of some situation in your life that’s causing you problems. Then you do the steps below.

At some point, you may (or may not) find yourself contemplating a polarity in your life. You will have two thoughts you regard as true for you but they contradict each other. That’s when you do the PEAT steps listed below.

1. Establish the nature of the problem or non-optimum situation.

2. Define problem in client’s own words. Use those exact words in session.

3. Establish a goal for the session.

4. Begin session with affirmation – fingers on “heart spot.” (This point is on the sternum. It’s where you point to yourself when you say the word, “me.”)

Even though I have this (Problem stated in client’s own words), I completely love and accept myself, my body and my personality and the fact that I have this (Problem stated in client’s own words).

6. After 5-30 seconds (be intuitive — be present with the client and make your own judgment) instruct the client to “Inhale and exhale.”

7. Say to the client, “Tell me what is happening.”

8. If the client reports that nothing is happening, have them apply pressure to the next EFT point and repeat steps 5-7.

9. Assess the information the client gives you…is it a:

These you want
a. Sensation
b. Emotion
c. Thought
d. Image picture

These you don’t want

e. Distractor – The client talks about something totally irrelevant to the session.

f. Analysis – The client starts to “figure out” what’s going on.

g. “Nothing is happening”. – When the client says, “nothing is happening”
something usually is happening. Ask what is happening. Sometimes the client isn’t getting the results they are expecting so they say “nothing is happening.”

During this part- ALWAYS LOOK FOR A POLARIZATION!! That’s when the client expresses a problem with two sides that seem to be opposites.

10. Take new/next item and repeat steps 3 through 10 until client achieves pleroma state or merging of primes. Pleroma is a state of bliss. PEAT, done right, leads to this pleroma.

When the processor identifies a polarity in the client:

1. List items: Item one and Item two

2. Put fingers on “heart spot” and say

Even though I have this (Item one and Item two) at the same time, I deeply and completely love and accept myself, my body and my personality and the fact that I have this (Item one and Item two) at the same time.

3. Move client to eyebrow point and say, “Fully experience both Item one and Item two at the same time.”

Polarities will shift, or other charged item will move in and the client will depolarize.

If another item moves in, take it and run it as the next item.

If polarities shift, have client report what the polarities are doing now and take that as the next item. Repeat steps 2 and 3.

Polarities may shift as few as 1-2 times or they may shift many times. They may merge but still be separate — the client will know if this is happening.

At some point they will merge and become one. They frequently disappear. This is the end of session phenomena.

Note: When polarization occurs the processor should keep the client’s attention on them. Do not force it, but gently ask it they are present.

If the polarities merge and disappear, the next question to ask is “What is left?”

When the client reports a positive emotion the affirmation is changed to reflect the fact that it is a positive.

I have this positive emotion and therefore I completely love and accept myself, my body and personality and the fact that I have this positive emotion.

Do not end just because the client feels a positive emotion. The session isn’t officially over until a polarity is found and neutralized. Neutralization will always be a pleasant state. If the client isn’t happy, something still needs to be run.

Even though there’s a chart on the other page, here’s another one showing you all the tapping points. It’s an EFT chart so it doesn’t show the “me” spot. It’s between the sore spot and the number 6.

The Emotional Freedom Techniques are your way to the fast natural stress relief. Just watching the news can cause you stress. You need to reduce your stress before it takes a serious toll on your life and your health. With EFT you can immediately take action steps (if needed) to better manage the stress in your life.

According to a study in Europe, 1 out of 3 workers said they were under stress.

A study in the England in 2004 found that 1 out of 5 people felt their jobs were so stressful it made them physically sick.

Work-related stress in England accounted for over 13 million lost working days in a year.

According to a Boston University study, women who avoided conflict with their husband increased their chance of heart disease and early death by 400 percent. Avoiding their stress actually increased their stress levels.

An article in the American Journal of Physiology Heart and Circulatory Physiology reported that prolonged exposure to certain stressors can result in permanent, negative changes to the body’s sympathetic nervous system, including blood pressure and heart rate. Those stressors include things like bullying, a stressful job and family-related issues.

A Florida State University study found long term stress increased depression and anxiety disorders.

Long term stress has also been linked to weight gain particularly belly fat.

Stress manifests itself in many physical, psychological, and behavioral symptoms, which can include headaches, fatigue, feelings of being out of control, and insomnia. It has also been estimated that 75 to 95 percent of all illness are psychosomatic in origin. That origin is stress. Luckily for you, you can learn EFT and reduce your stress very quickly and easily.

It is important to limit the easily controllable elements that can cause or add to your stress. A bad diet creates physical stress. While sugar may give you a temporary boost in your mood, it ultimately causes way more problems than it solves. Lack of sleep also causes physical stress and lowers your ability to handle emotional stress. And then stress keeps you up at night so it becomes a vicious circle.

Once you have taken care of the lifestyle factors under your control, you will still probably find yourself needing stress relief. EFT provides quick, easy, natural, drug-free stress relief in seconds. Click here and learn to tap. If you want more complete directions, get my book, Transform Your Life With EFT for Kindle.

If you don’t have a Kindle, you can get the book from Smashwords in other formats.

People who do EFT rarely talk about the problems caused by religion because it seems insensitive and incorrect but I want to discuss anyway. Religion can play with people’s minds in a deep way that interferes with the results they can get with tapping.

I have no ax to grind about religion. I wasn’t abused by nuns, priests, rabbis, shamans or evangelists. Most of the time, religion doesn’t even come up when tapping. But sometimes when it does, it’s a miserable obstacle. Religion locks minds to absolutes and fixed ways of thinking that subvert critical and logical thinking in ways that may interfere with mental and emotional healing. In order to heal, you have to change and tapping can lead to the necessary changes but those can’t happen when religious indoctrination stands in the way.

I had a client who was a devout Christian. He was troubled because he didn’t want to go to heaven. We talked a lot about his beliefs about God and heaven. He sincerely believed heaven was a place in the clouds where you sat around playing harps and praying all the time. He feared eternal boredom. By the way, this concept of Heaven is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible. He picked up this concept of heaven through pop culture. He also believed none of his good friends were going to make it to heaven because they were all such sinners. He didn’t want to spend eternity without them. He could be good and go to heaven and be bored and lonely forever. Or he could sin and achieve eternal damnation and spend eternity with his friends. This was an enormously pressing and vexing dilemma for him.

I asked him to describe God for me. He told me God is a loving father and creator. We tapped on “Even though I have this fear my loving God will sentence me to eternal boredom…” That didn’t produce much change.

We reframed the problem and reworded the setup phrase a number of times but he wasn’t feeling much better.

After a number of tapping sessions, (not rounds but hour long sessions.) he finally budged a little. Very little. We found some relief with the setup phrase “Even though I can’t trust an infinitely creative and loving God to do what’s best for me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” This created a bit of constructive cognitive dissonance. He realized the absurdity of the phrase by tapping on it. As he tapped, he began to trust God more although he still had his concerns about eternity and the boredom he was sure he faced. But at least he was able to change a little bit.

Very occasionally religious beliefs impede progress in a session but EFT should never be used as a way to subvert anybody’s religious beliefs. I have yet to work with anybody whose religion worshiped a God who doesn’t want people to be happy and healthy so if you think God wants you to be miserable and doesn’t want you to be healed of your problems, tap on it.

Every December when people all over are celebrating their assorted holidays, a great number of people feel anything but festive. The so-called Holiday Blues is a temporary state of mild depression that comes before Christmas and generally abates right after New Years. Just because the feelings are short lived doesn’t mean they aren’t miserable.

The holidays are expected to be fun, joyful and full of love and presents. That is rarely the case yet the expectations remain. These unfulfilled expectations cause pain. The end of the year reminds you of all the things you didn’t accomplish. If you are alone for the holidays, the feeling is even worse because this is supposed to be a time for togetherness.
Since you can’t avoid December, dealing proactively with the holiday blues is the best way to get through the month. Doing a few simple steps will help you get through this time a little more smoothly.

Acknowledge your feelings. Admit to yourself that you feel bad for all the reasons you are mulling over in your head. Don’t fight the feelings. They aren’t wrong or right. They just are. Don’t try to rationalize them away. Just accept them without shame, excuses or justifications. Sometimes just allowing yourself to feel the emotions takes the power away from them.

Realize you could be falling for the holiday hype. We all feel pressure to be joyous and merry this time of year but people rarely feel it to the degree we’ve been led forced to expect. We see so many movies and TV shows with happy, healthy kids opening their Christmas presents while their loving parents look on smiling. You can practically smell the ham baking in the oven. As is so often the case, Hollywood and Madison Avenue is lying to you. Life isn’t really like that. If you expect it to be that way, you are setting yourself up for never ending disappointments that extend way beyond December.

If you are away from or don’t have family or friends to hang out with, the pain of loneliness can feel even worse on Christmas because we are all expected to be with our families. You may start to feel bad about choices you’ve made that led to being alone on this day. You might feel like you are missing out on something. It’s times like this where the part of the EFT setup phrase that goes, “I deeply and completely love and accept myself” really shines. This is a time to really feel yourself loving and accepting yourself.

On a more mundane but very practical level, get some exercise. A twenty minute walk a few times a week will get your blood moving and lift your spirits.

Take time to feel gratitude for all the things you do have. Instead of ruminating over what you don’t have, think about the good things in your life.

Finally, learn The Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s a gentle, fast method for relieving unwanted emotions. Read about it in my ebook, Transform Your Life With EFT from Amazon.

It is also available in other formats for other ereaders from Smashwords.

The Eyebrow point is located under the inside corner of your eyebrow right on the eye socket. Run your finger along the bone until you feel a little notch. That notch is the spot.

The side of the eye point is just along the outside corner of the eye socket. That little depression in the bone is where you tap.

The under the eye point is at the edge the bone under the center of the eye.

The Under nose point is the little depression between the nose and upper lip.

The Chin point is slightly above the middle of your chin.

The Collarbone point is actually under your collarbone. Run your finger under the collarbone until you reach a tender spot right where the sternum (breastbone) starts. That tender spot is the tapping point. Most people use their whole hand and lightly slap the general area to make the tapping routine go faster.

The Under Arm point is usually said to be located along the tendon that forms the front border of your armpit. On men the point is even with the nipple. On women, it is in the center of the bra strap. Tap with your whole hand to make it easy. I believe the correct point is actually two inches lower than that but if you tap with your whole hand, you will hit both points.

Another tapping point is about 4 inches under the nipple. It’s called the BN, beneath nipple point. It may be awkward for women to tap on it in public so that point is often not taught.

Is close enough really good enough? When it comes to tapping, you want to be as accurate as possible. I was reading an article by an Emotional Freedom Technique practitioner who voiced a concern about some EFT teachers who he feels take too much time teaching the exact location of all the tapping points. His contention was that the exact points aren’t all that crucial. The important thing, according to him, was clearly identifying the troubling emotion. For him, the actual physical tapping was just icing on the cake.

From my experience, I think he’s got it very wrong. Learning the exact points is every bit as important as learning the other steps. If any step can be fudged, it’s the second step, finding the SUDS rating, but that’s a topic for another article. What’s more, learning the exact spot to tap takes as much time as learning the general areas. It’s really a non-issue from a time standpoint.

I have my family and friends to thank for teaching my how important finding the exact point is. When I give them phone sessions, I explain the location of the tapping points in very explicit detail. I make sure they know exactly where the points are. If they don’t get good results, I will talk to them about it the next time I see them in person. What I find invariably is the ones getting the poorer results have been tapping on the wrong spots. When I show them the correct points and run them through the process a few times, they finally get the results they’ve been wanting.

The general consensus among EFT practitioners is that if you get within a half inch of the prescribed tapping points, you’re fine. I haven’t found that to be quite the case. Getting within a half inch will yield positive results. Getting within a quarter inch is better still. I have found the best results come when you are tapping on the exact points.

Using two fingers or the whole hand in the case of the collarbone and under arm points, helps insure that you do hit those exact points because you are covering more area. If you are at all energy sensitive, you can feel the difference between hitting the right spot and just getting close. When you get the exact point, it’s like hitting the sweet spot on your tennis racquet. It just feels so right.

When I teach EFT, I have my clients or students go through a number of dummy rounds on imaginary issues just to get them to the point where they can do EFT without looking at a tapping chart.

Being able to find the exact points quickly and getting them memorized is important if you want to get the most out of the Emotional Freedom Technique.

Stress is part of modern living. You always seem to have work to do, mouths to feed, bills to pay and often not enough time or money to do all the things you want and need. The constant and unrelenting demands put a lot of stress on your body and mind.
Some of the symptoms of being overly stressed are: trouble sleeping, muscle pains, digestive troubles, heart palpitations, breathing difficulties or any one of a dozen other health problems. You may also find yourself becoming impatient, angry, irritable, clumsy and accident prone.

It is unnatural and unhealthy to live in a state of constant stress. The body just can’t handle it without serious repercussions. Eventually you will try to do something to relieve the stress. But will your attempt really be a solution or create another problem.

Unhealthy ways people deal with stress include

Alcohol consumption

Illegal drugs

Internet addiction

Gambling

Sex

Shopping

Overeating

While these may serve as pleasant distractions, they do not solve the problem. They only mask it.

In some cases, you might need to seek medical help for your stress. If you’ve let your stress get to the point where it’s caused you heart damage, high blood pressure or any other serious medical problem, seeing a doctor should be the first thing you do otherwise not going to the doctor could be the last thing you will ever do. Too often doctors will simply give you a pill to relax you but these don’t solve the problem and like almost all medicines, you may have unpleasant side effects. And once you are on these kinds of drugs, getting off them can be very difficult.

On the other hand, if your stress is hasn’t created any major physical problems yet, you can avail yourself of natural treatment that won’t cost much if anything and have no harmful side effects.

Exercise is a very good way to reduce stress. Not only will you burn up your nervous energy, you will also make your body stronger and more able to handle daily stress. You don’t have to have a stressful, exhausting workout. Walking every other day for twenty minutes will do you a lot of good.

Meditation is a time-tested way to quiet your mind and your body. It isn’t difficult to do either. You don’t even need to be limber. Sitting in a chair works as well as sitting cross-legged on your floor. Meditation isn’t hard to learn. The trick is to just do nothing.

Changing your diet is another way to ease your stress. If you eat a lot of junk food and sugary treats, eating a better diet will make it easier for your body to handle stress.

Let’s not forget, one of the most important ways to deal with stress is to minimize or eliminate it if you can. Try to simplify your lifestyle and minimize your expenses. Stress is a signal that something is going wrong. Listen to it and heed what it tells you.

One of the fastest stress relief methods is the Emotional Freedom Technique. This simple method of tapping on acupressure points produces almost instant relief. For complete directions as well as more ways to use EFT, please read Transform Your Life With EFT from Amazon. It is also available in other formats for other ereaders from Smashwords.

Stress is a physical condition that can have immediate and long-term effects on your health and wellbeing. Some transient stress is OK and even healthy for you. You are under stress when you first get behind the wheel or when you are at bat at the bottom of the ninth and the winning run is on third. Life without that kind of stress would be boring. But prolonged, unrelenting stress is harmful to you. We live in a world where it’s way too common to be stuck at a job or relationship you hate, or you are never getting enough sleep or you struggle to make enough money just to survive. But even the rich and well-rested aren’t immune from stress.
Common symptoms of stress include:

Rapid heartbeat.

Headaches.

Stiff or tight muscles.

High blood pressure

Sleeping difficulties

Back and neck pain.

Difficulty breathing.

Profuse sweating and sweaty palms.

Stomach pains

Here are five tips to find relief from stress.

Turn off the TV: Sitting in front of the TV might seem like a great way to veg out but if you are watching the news, cop shows or even medical dramas, you are experiencing stress into your body. The shows wouldn’t be any fun if you didn’t have some emotional response when you watch them but that emotional response is actually stress. When you watch a stressful TV show, you r body produces, cortisol, the same hormone as you do when you go through a stressful experience yourself.

Take a walk: Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce stress hormones is by walking. A twenty minute walk a couple times a day gives you the chance to burn off stress. Exercising also strengthens your heart, lungs and immune system which strengthen your ability to handle stress in the future.

Meditate: Taking time to quiet your mind and empty of thought is one way to give your body a break from stress. It’s is easy to learn and costs nothing to do beyond a class or book that teaches you the techniques. And you can even learn how to do it on the web. The benefits of meditation are well documented and go beyond simple stress relief.

Help somebody: Like meditation, making someone else the focus of your attention takes your mind off your own stress. Volunteer somewhere. Teach inner city kids how to read. Walk dogs at your local animal shelter. Coach your son’s little league team. Find a cause and give your time to it. You can be sure some charity or organization in your city or town is looking for your help.

Have an active social life: Happy people spend more time with their friends than unhappy people. When you are happy, you won’t feel stressed. And when you get together with your friends, don’t spend the evening bitching about how much life sucks. Have fun.

Dance: Getting yourself lost in music and movement combines the benefits of walking and meditation into one activity. Dance your heart out when nobody is watching . You could also take a dance class which would combine the benefits of meditating, walking and having an active social life.

And a bonus sixth step.

Learn EFT: This simple method can significantly reduce the amount of stress in your life as well as how you react to stress-inducing situations. For complete tapping directions as well as more ways to use EFT, read my book, Transform Your Life With EFT from Amazon.

It is also available in other formats for other ereaders from Smashwords.

It seems to be a recurring theme lately, accepting beliefs at face value that aren’t true. People frequently get their lives bent out of shape believing lies. These lies come from bad observations, unusual experiences or a belief in the infallibility of some authority.

I had a client who had a very ingrained belief that it was wrong to have more than two pieces of toast with breakfast. Since the belief didn’t cause him any pain and probably saved him from gaining a couple pounds, he never really examined it. But he mentioned his belief in session one day. He didn’t even realize his belief was a problem. Nor did I.

EFT turns dysfunctional beliefs into toast.

He was telling me about his day as we tried to zero in on what to work on that session. He casually mentioned that he had a couple pieces of toast for breakfast and that the bread was so good he wished he had more. I asked him why he didn’t have more. He told me it was because you can’t have more than two pieces of toast with breakfast. He said it with the same casual certainty as if he had told me the sun rises in the east.

I didn’t question his belief outright but I asked him to tap on “Even though I can only have two pieces of toast for breakfast, I deeply and completely accept myself.“

He thought it was an odd request but he humored me and did it. The amount of anger and tears tapping brought up from that setup phrase astounded both of us.

When he was a kid, his mother was probably trying to get him to eat a balanced diet when she told him he could only eat two pieces of toast with his breakfast. But the little four year old didn’t see it that way. He mistook it for an inviolable rule. His mother had inadvertently programmed not to eat more that two pieces of toast ever at one meal.

As he suddenly realized the stupidity of that belief. We tapped on his feeling foolish for believing this. Then we had to tap on the anger he felt towards his mother for inflicting this lie on him. Then we had to tap on forgiving her for inflicting that lie on him. Then we had to tap on all the anger and sadness he felt about all the times he denied himself a third or fourth piece of toast when he really wanted one.

I never met anyone before or since who had so much emotional upset connected to toast.

This session opened up the floodgates of unexamined beliefs about himself and his abilities, most of which were lies or at the very least based on nothing substantial. As we tapped, he saw how much he was unnecessarily restricting himself for no good reason in areas beyond toast.

The takeaway lesson is to question everything you believe. And I mean everything. If you find yourself trapped in an unpleasant or restrictive situation, ask what beliefs you have that are keeping you there. You can try tapping on, ” Even though I believe I must have this unpleasant situation in my life, I deeply and completely accept myself and my situation.”

We build our lives around beliefs that have little or no bearing in reality. Then we build other beliefs around a sense of reality that has no real basis to it other than our belief in it. We get into a self-perpetuating, vicious cycle that keeps us glued to dysfunctional beliefs and corresponding dysfunctional lives until we take a moment to examine what’s really going on.

As you do more tapping, you will start to see what beliefs you have that are total nonsense. You will probably have more than a few beliefs to tap on.

Every once in awhile, you can have a tapping session that blows you away. You may even think you feel the presence of your guides, or the Universe or God. If it isn’t God, at the very least, it’s something much larger than yourself. These experiences are very blissful.

You can’t control when this will happen. These occurrences happen with no warning. I wish I could make them happen more predictably and more often. I also haven’t found the one setup phrase that works on everyone. What makes one person feel the presence of God does nothing to someone else.

Another problem is that these feelings eventually fade. Eventually you will come back to Earth.

Bliss is attainable with EFT.

This leads to another problem; like a good drug high, you can become addicted to spiritual highs. They feel so good and life seems so right and perfect when you in them. And when you come down, you want another. This is how cults and religions get and keep new members.

You may know some people who attend every workshop their budget and time allows. They are often referred to as “energy junkies” or “workshop addicts.” They’ve experienced that rare and natural state of bliss and want it again. It’s like their souls have been starved all their lives and they suddenly have a spiritual Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. They don’t want to leave the table even when the dinner is over.

Of course, the obvious way to treat that is to tap on it. You can tap on the feelings of longing if that’s what you are experiencing but I’ve found that many people can avoid feeling that way if they just tap regularly. If you can’t tap every day, tap at least a few times a week. It doesn’t have to be about anything specific either. Tapping on your run of the mill issues is good enough. While not bliss inducing, having just tapped is a pleasant enough state for most people to not crave the spiritual highs.

And if you can’t tap every day, tap on that. A round of tapping takes less than a minute once you have the method memorized. You can do a couple rounds before getting out of bed. You can even do it while on the toilet. You can tap at a traffic light on the way to work. The people in the cars next to you might look at you funny but what do you care? You’re not likely to see them again. And if it bothers you, tap on it.

My latest book, Manifesting From The Heart: Using Heart Energy to Achieve Reality Transformation is the result of some sessions that led me to experience what could only be described as a transcendental experience. It is based on questions I had about why the Law of Attraction didn’t seem to work for me. If you have wondered why trying to use the Law of Attraction hasn’t produced the results you wanted, this book could have the answers you are looking for.

Heartbreak or heartache, one of life’s most difficult problems is also one of the most difficult to treat with the Emotional Freedom Technique. Whenever a client says they are feeling heartbroken, you can almost bank on the SUDS level being at least a 9 but it’s most likely off the charts. Like being pregnant, nobody I’ve ever worked with has ever been just a little heartbroken. Losing a love is one of the hardest things for a person to experience. You can get heartache relief but it will take some work on your part.

Heartbreak is a mixture of feelings and emotions that meld into a deep, dark despair that does not go away quickly. While you are experiencing it, it feels like it will never go away ever. No two people’s reactions to heartache are the same. Every case heartbreak is difficult in its own unique way so there isn’t a standard way to go about treating it. EFT will definitely help but there aren’t likely to be many one-minute wonders when it comes to treating heartbreak.

Heartbreak encompasses, among other things, loss of love, friendship, companionship, touch, pleasure and hope. One also experiences the loss of an expected future. Heartbreak completely changes the roadmap one was using to guide their life. Actually, it totally shatters the roadmap along with the life.

It’s horrible if it’s sudden and out of the blue. It’s only slightly better when it’s been a long time coming and inevitable as in a drawn out breakup. In drawn out, inevitable break ups, the heartache is sometimes balanced by a feeling of relief because the hovering axe has finally fallen.

On the SUDS scale, tapping will not take heartache from a 10 to a 1. What is most likely to happen is that tapping on heartache will initiate a process whereby one can unravel, examine and tap out all the components of the problem. One may start with heartache being a 10 but as the feeling is tapped, the heartache changes to sadness, anger, despair, loneliness or just about any other feeling.

Whatever feeling arises needs to be treated. Don’t skip treating any feeling just because it seems trivial or doesn’t seem like the right feeling or the crucial feeling. If it comes up, it came up for a reason. Treat it then and there. What seems like an unimportant or trivial feeling may mushroom into something much deeper and more significant as you tap on it. But if you tried tapping on the deeper issue right away, you’d feel overwhelmed.

Treating heartache and heartbreak almost always requiring a lot of tapping on forgiveness issues. I had one client that spent a lot of time working on forgiveness for his friends who knew the girl he was dating was sleeping around but didn’t say anything. He also had to tap on forgiving the one friend who did tell him about his roaming girlfriend. Then he had to tap on forgiving himself for chewing out his friend for telling him such preposterous lies. Then he had to tap out feelings of regret for not believing his friend who had never lied to him before and didn’t lie to him then either. Forgiving his ex didn’t even come up until a later session.

Time is also needed when dealing with heartbreak. It’s not the time is the healer, either. What I’ve seen is that clients will be doing fine after a break up and then “their song” will come on the radio which triggers some buried feelings. The anniversary of their first date or the passing of a weekend where they were supposed to go away together may also put them in a funk that requires tapping.

In addition to tapping, you need to be patient when going through heartbreak. You will get better but it isn’t going to happen overnight. Unfortunately there is no magic pill, silver bullet or “easy” button to help you get through it.

EFT is definitely useful for finding relief from heartache and heartbreak but it’s probably not going to be an easy or quick treatment. But it will help you get better faster than doing nothing which is a much worse alternative.

In working with clients, one of the oddest and most common hurdles I have with them is getting them to see a genuinely better life for themselves. They can only imagine a life that’s marginally better which usually translates to being out of pain or out of a current predicament. If they stretch their imaginations too much and try to envision a life where they actually feel happy, gratified, connected and amply rewarded they can’t relate to it. It’s not for them.

Many clients work with issues surrounding wealth and material accumulation. They want more money, a better car or just more stuff. And that’s fine. Having more money and more stuff allows you to have more and better or at least different experiences. However only a fool thinks money and stuff are the only ingredient you need for a happy life which is what everybody really wants. All our desires for tangible goods boil down to wanting intangible happiness.

The problem I see is that even after they see how to get happiness and stay happy, my clients often don’t do the necessary steps. If they are no longer miserable they stop doing the work, the work being EFT. Not being miserable is all they let themselves have/be.

Happiness means different things to different people but it is not simply the absence of misery. Happiness will never be perpetual on this planet however most people can’t even imagine a life of frequent happiness. They settle for normal.

Normal lives are usually OK. For most people, normal isn’t spectacular but it is serviceable and tolerable. But normal in our society usually is not fulfilling or exciting.

Ending feelings of misery are certainly a worthy and attainable goal for most people but stopping at that point shortchanges them and their lives. Even though they have learned how to improve their mental and emotional state, they stop tapping because they settle. They can’t imagine feeling any better than not miserable so they stop doing EFT until they experience something painful again. Their lack of imagination is as unfortunate as their lack of persistence.

If you really want to be normal, fine. But please, look around you. Look at what normal is our society. Do you really want to be normal?

In a recent session, the client was bitching about a guy she was dating who wasn’t treating her with the consideration, respect and courtesy she thought she should be getting. Her studies of the Law of Attraction and affirmations about self-worth had her believing that she deserved better. He was wealthy and influential and was a total jerk. She also believed that he didn’t deserve all his good fortune.

This led to a lot of tapping about getting what one deserved. She felt she deserved more and better in life. She wasn’t asking for the moon. She just wanted the affection and honesty in her relationship she felt she deserved. She really FELT she deserved it so we tapped on the feeling of deserving.

Feelings of deservedness aren’t necessarily a bad or painful feeling so it wouldn’t have occurred to her to tap on it if I hadn’t asked her to. She started tapping on Even though I feel I deserve more, I deeply and completely accept myself. The set up phrase morphed a lot over the next 15 minutes to include how she felt about the guy who got what she felt he didn’t deserve.

When the session was over, she realized feelings of deservedness have nothing to do with the Law of Attraction. Feelings of deservedness aren’t based on any objective standard. Rating such a feeling is totally capricious in nature. Who’s to say how much you have to feel like you deserve something to get it? Who’s to say feeling like you deserve something will even lead to getting it?

She further realized feeling like she deserved something put distance between her and the object of her desire. If she felt like she deserved something, she hadn’t really internalized the feeling of actually having the object of her desire. Saying she deserved something was like saying she wanted something and any student of LOA knows you never affirm that you want something.

She left the session feeling lighter having lifted the burden of this unworkable belief off her shoulders. As for her budding relationship, she dumped the guy. She knew she didn’t deserve the aggravation.