Puss in Boots:"On my honor! I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life as you spared me mine."Donkey:"I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken! Let's go Shrek!"

Donkey:"I can't believe your just gonna walk away from the best thing that ever happened to you."Shrek:"What choice do I have? She loves that pretty boy Prince Charming."Donkey:"Aw come on now... is he really that good looking?"Ugly Stepsister:"Are you kidding? He's gorgeous! He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels."Puss in Boots:"Aww he sounds dreamy."Shrek:"You know... shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better."

Puss in Boots:"Who dares enter my room?!"King:"Sorry I hope I'm not interrupting but I'm told your the one to talk to about an... ogre problem?"Puss in Boots:"You are told correct... but for this I charge a great deal of money."King:"Would this?..."Puss in Boots:"You have engaged my valuable services your majesty. Just tell me where I can find this ogre."

Puss in Boots: "Boss just in case there is something wrong with the potion. Allow me to take the first sip. It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you."Donkey: "Oh no no no I don't think so. If there's gonna be any animal testing, I'm gonna do it! That's the best friends job! Now give me that bottle!"

Puss in Boots: "Warning. Side effects may include burning, itching, oozing, weeping. Not intended for heart patients or those with nervous disorders."Donkey: "Trotting trotting trotting in place! Yeah!.... what?"

Puss in Boots:"It's out of my hands senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny, but I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. As are you, and you. Oh hi, I don't know you, but I'd like to."

Donkey:"How in the Hans Christian Anderson am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots?!"Puss in Boots:"Hey! Hey! Be very careful with those! Hee Haw! They were made in Madrid by the finest Hee Haw!"Donkey:"Oh you'll learn to control that."

Artie:"Whoa, this is going to be huge! Parties, princesses, castles, princesses!"Donkey:"It's going to be great Artie! You'll be living in the lap of luxury. They got the finest chefs around, waiting for you to place your order!"Puss in Boots:"Fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters."Artie:"Oh yeah? What do they do?"Puss in Boots:"They taste the food before the king eats, to make sure it's not poisoned."Shrek:"Or too salty."Donkey:"Don't worry about it. You'll be safe and sound with the help of your bodyguards."Artie:"Bodyguards?"Puss in Boots:"All of them, willing at a moments notice to lay down their own lives out of devotion to you."Artie:"Really?"Puss in Boots:"The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance."Donkey:"Just make sure they don't die of famine."Puss in Boots:"Or plague."Donkey:"Oh, plague is bad."Puss in Boots:"The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores."Shrek:"Oh ho ho, festering sores. You are one funny kitty cat!"

Shrek:"We're here for the mascot contest too."Man:"This is a costume?"Shrek:"AYYYYEE! Worked on it all night long!"Man:"Looks pretty real to me."Puss in Boots:"If it were real, could I do this?"Shrek:"OWWW!"Donkey:"Or this?"Shrek:"OWWWW! If it were real, that would've been agonizingly painful."Donkey:"Now watch this!"Shrek:"That's quite enough boys!"

Donkey:"I'm already feeling nauseas of memories of wedgies and swirlies!"Puss in Boots:"But how did you receive the wedgies when you are clearly not a wearer of the underpants."Donkey:"Let's just say some things are better left unsaid and leave it at that!"

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan:"For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought. All we ought to have said, and have not said. All we ought to have done, and have not done. I pray thee God, for forgiveness."

Buliwyf:"'Lo, there do I see my father. 'Lo, there do I see..."Herger the Joyous:"My mother, and my sisters, and my brothers."Buliwyf:"'Lo, there do I see..."Herger the Joyous:"The line of my people..."Edgtho the Silent:"Back to the beginning."Weath the Musician:"'Lo, they do call to me."Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan:"They bid me take my place among them."Buliwyf:"In the halls of Valhalla..."Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan:"Where the brave..."Herger the Joyous:"May live..."Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan:"Forever."

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan:"Across of seas of monsters and forest of demons we traveled. Praise be to Allah, the merciful and compassionate. May His blessing be on upon pagan men who loved other gods. Who shared their food and shed their blood, that His servant, Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan, might become a man and a useful servant of God."