Justin B. Terry-Smith has been involved in Gay and HIV Activism since 1999. He is a Air Force 9/11 Disabled Vet. Raised in Silver Spring, MD, he now lives in Severn, MD with his husband Phil. He writes an HIV/STI Advice Column for A&U Magazine and is a Contributing writer for thebody.com. He earned an AA in Communications, a BA in Political Science, Masters and Doctorate in Public Health with a concentration in Infectious Disease.

Justin's HIV Journal

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A Pozitive Union: Justin B Smith and Dr. Philip B Terry Elope

When I found out I was HIV positive I felt that I would never be wanted physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. 3 years ago I met a man the way that a lot of you have met men, at a bar. I noticed his smile, his swagger, and his sexiness. I didn’t know what to do with myself, except I knew I had to be honest with him about a part of me that I knew I couldn’t keep secret, my HIV status.

Being HIV positive a lot of us have low self esteem about if we will ever be wanted. I’m here to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There WILL BE someone for you, even if you aren’t HIV positive.

I have truly found someone that loves my unconditionally. Through all my trial and tribulations he has been there to help me through the rough waters we call life. Philip asked me to marry him on Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend of 2009. When he asked I didn’t know what to say, so I looked inside my heart and open my mouth and joyously said, “Yes”.

Ever since then we’ve had disagreements like most couples but it never took away from the love that I have and will always have for him. This man has breathed life into me, my heart, my soul and my mind. When I didn’t want to be loved; he opened my heart, when I didn’t want to have a spiritual awakening; he opened my soul and when I didn’t want to go to school; he opened my mind, when I didn’t want to love.

I can honestly say that all I want is for him to be happy and that makes me happy to be with him. Being HIV positive has nothing to do with who you love. It might change how you love but love will always be there and will be there much longer than you and I. Love conquers all, even HIV.

I love you Philip, thank you for doing me the honor of asking me to marry you. For eternity and the life after I am forever yours.

Love Always,Justin B SmithAKAMr. Silly Butt

P.S. to all those reading this sorry about the noisy background it was very windy at the beach in Provincetown that day 

Congratulations Justin. My feelings about marriage have gone back and forth over the past few years, but your post really describes the institution and can and should be. I wish you both the very best.

Justin B Terry-Smith

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About Justin B Terry-Smith

My name is Justin B Terry-Smith, I'm a Black Gay man living in Laurel, Maryland and I am HIV+. I've decided to share my story because I feel it's important that people who have unprotected sex know what they might be getting themselves into. People have asked me why I am doing this, why have I put my personal business out like this. I tell them it is to help educate people, to make them aware and to make them think twice about having unprotected sex. This is my personal journey that needs to be told to help the community.
HIV is neither glamorous or a rite of passage. Watch the Journal and think twice.
In the words of Pedro Zamora, "I'm not dying. I'm living with it"