Saturday, September 25, 2010

Learning to be Loved

Once again, Stanley Hauerwas steals my words...or maybe I've read him enough to have arrived at the same words without hearing them from him. That's a scary thought to some. Oh well. :-)

There is really no pattern to learning about love. I tend to think that it can happen a number of ways for different people. For me, I first knew love because of my family. And now, though I still have a number of selfish bones in my body that need breaking, I do certainly enjoy sacrificing for others from time to time (part of this came with the difficulty of a first year in marriage...and then a kid...and then a few more). But when it comes to love, I still have a really hard time accepting that God would love me. I quite often stupidly (yet subconsciously) still think that I have things to prove before God would ever do that.

When the grace-full love of God hits me hard, it's an incredibly wonderful thing. This is that whole Aldersgate experience.

I think this is what Stan is getting at above. A mature love might be arrived at like this:

1A First we think that love is that warm and fuzzy thing that makes us feel good.

1B Next we think that love is something we receive.

2B Then we think that love is something we give.

2A By which we come to find out that it quite often hurts.

...but hopefully, we finally dive into the realization that it's unfathomably all of the above (and more) wrapped up together in one beautiful mess.