E-mail, Feeds, 'n' Stuff

Friday, September 22, 2006

Get your Muse on

As part of the academic life, I often receive in my various mailboxes what's known in the trade as a "call for papers." Some academic institution or scholarly journal is soliciting erudite writings for inclusion in a symposium on some esoteric topic or other. Sometimes they sound a little desperate; I get the feeling that the best collections are usually those assembled through private invitations, not through scattershot announcements.

Anyway, I just received a call for literary products of a different kind. Willamette Week is putting on another of its "Candidates Gone Wild" parties in advance of the upcoming elections, and it's sponsoring a political limerick contest as part of the festivities. The Double Dub has sent out a personal invitation to readers of this blog to submit entries.

Now here's an incentive to give it a shot: "Storm Large has agreed to read the finalists from stage on the night of the event and we will give the winner some nice prize." Storm Large, people! (Note to self: Find out who Storm Large is.)

As a participant in last spring's CGW, I can attest to the facts that it's a fun event, and that it helps shed light on the important choices that voters will be making. It's not without an agenda, however. Put together by WW and the kids at the Bus Project, CGW tends to reinforce the prevailing "progressive" political platform. The audience is packed with Stennian true believers, and it seems unlikely that any candidates whom the two sponsors are endorsing will emerge from the evening with any major scars. Meanwhile, candidates with whom they disagree may want to watch their backs.

Having said that, there's no reason not to get in on the hijinks. If you've got a political limerick, drop it in the comments here and we'll pass it on to the powers that be at Pulitzer Central. It doesn't have to be about the November races -- any topic will do, so long as your submission has to do with public affairs in Oregon. And the more wickedly funny, the better.

Here's one to get you started:

There once was a Member named Earl
Who rode his Trek all through the Pearl
One day his chain broke
He fell on a spoke
And now he sounds just like a girl

You don't know who Storm Large is? Why, she's a genuine Portland celebrity, and you should Google her immediately! The chance to get "a nice prize" handed you by Storm in person is definitely worth it!

We once bore a mantle of democracy
where freedom was more than a mockery
then terrorists struck
George Bush was in luck
he used fear to promote his hypocrisy.
The people became disillusioned
when taxes were spent with profusion
they paid for a war to keep terror from our shore
while the rich smirked at George’s illusion

There once was a commssioner named Randy
Who thought he had a FPDR plan that was quite dandy,
He said all the voters would OKAY
31 years of tax increases to pay,
Does he think we are a bunch of mon-kays?

There once was a commissioner named Sam
Who hated cars and WalMart more than green eggs and ham,
Sam, how come such fervent anti- passion?
“'cause among all my cronies, it's quite the fashion,
When being elected, your $2B a year I’ll spend,
On things you want with no end.
$1M condos and trams and more,
Nay, to the developers, I’m no whore."
But, Sam, what is the answer to poverty, housing and cancer?
“Why light rail is always the answer.
Why do we need living-wage jobs for the poor,
When they can take light rail to the Oswego shore?"

Road Work

Miles run year to date: 156
At this date last year: 225
Total run in 2014: 401
In 2013: 257
In 2012: 129
In 2011: 113
In 2010: 125
In 2009: 67
In 2008: 28
In 2007: 113
In 2006: 100
In 2005: 149
In 2004: 204
In 2003: 269