It was recently Bi Visibility Day, and if you’re thinking about coming out as bisexual, what better day to do that than National Coming Out Day! Because, yep, that’s part of what the day is all about — making bisexuality more visible. And bi-visibility is important because the more people realize they actually already know bisexuals, the quicker everyone will get it that we are not the big bad scary greedy monsters that biphobes like to say we are.

Can’t come out? Will be in danger if you do? Then don’t! Instead work towards changing your future so that you someday can. Yes, the bisexual community feels your pain, and still loves you, and we want you to stay safe! If you’re in crisis, please contact the Trevor Project.

And consider this quote, from Karen Hurley, in a 1995 BiNet USA document:

The label bisexual ferries me to an island where people support and affirm my relationships, regardless of the gender of my lovers, and where I can offer the support and affirmation to others in return. For this reason I do not eschew labels — the label is a tool (In this case, serving to create community and avoid tedious persons who want to give me attitude about who I’m sleeping with)….

If you are ready to come out as bisexual, congratulations! You’ve already gotten through the hardest part, coming out to yourself — usually it pretty much gets easier from there on.

Whether you’re coming out after identifying as (or being assumed) straight, gay, or lesbian, you might want to prepare a bit for coming out, so check out these links:

… and then share them at your dorm, club, class, volunteer group, church (maybe?)…. And explain what the colors mean and why you want to be your authentic self with them.

5: Buy a bunch of bisexual books and read them where others will see you, then look up and say, “Wow, it’s so great being bisexual; there are a lot of really interesting books on the topic, or with bi characters.”

6: Write a poem about being bisexual and read it a community open mic.

10: Have the serious sit-down talk. Lots of these ideas are great for those who know the people in their life are going to be pretty accepting, but for many, having a calm, unrushed, talk in a quiet place is going to work best for those closest to us. Be sure to read the preparation links at the beginning of this article first.

11: If your friends and family are aware of the bisexual colors, wear bisexual makeup, or…

20: Just start acting as if everyone already knows and mention the guy you dated in high school, and the girl you almost got engaged to in college, and that cute agender person at work you have a huge crush on.

Congratulations on your decision to come out and good luck!

Be sure to reach out to the bisexual community for support and comradery.