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Dear Job Applicant: Your résumé is driving me insane

You don’t tailor your résumé to my job posting. If my job posting says you have to know marketing and be able to teach, the word “marketing” should actually SHOW UP on your résumé. If I specify that you have to know how to administer Compellent SANs, guess what I want to see on your résumé ?

For the love of everything, get someone to proofread your résumé. I read one today that said, “References can be refurbished upon request.” Seriously? Seriously!?!?!?!?!

I really don’t care about your job responsibilities that much. Your accomplishments, sure. Your responsibilities, not really. I want to know what you did. Did you manage a network? Did you manage humans? Did you manage a budget? How many? How much? How big? I’m reading to see if you have what it takes to manage my network, humans, and budget.

Please tell me why you want to do this job. Especially if it’s an unusual job. For example, we hire for a role at HubSpot known as “Inbound Marketing Consultant.” And, honestly, it’s not a job like any other job. As a result, if I can’t figure out from your résumé or cover letter WHY you want this job, I have to waste time in the interview figuring out two things (below), and I HATE wasting time.

Do you have any idea what this job is?

Given your understanding of the job, why do you want it?

Please have some clue what’s on your résumé. Seriously, people, if you don’t know what’s there and I’ve only spent 30 seconds skimming it, we’re in a world of hurt.

Please put complete information on your résumé. I can’t tell you how many interviews I’ve had where people say, “It’s not on my résumé, but…” Well, then, your résumé isn’t complete, now, is it?

I’m sure there are more, but I have to go back to skimming résumés. Can someone please have mercy on me?