SATURDAY AUG. 17: The Akron Beacon Journal
today reported that a state representative named John Becker, who is
apparently from suburban Cincinnati (how many [expletive] state reps are
there, for real?), proposed an expansion of Ohio’s death penalty law to
cover some sex-related crimes.

SUNDAY JULY 7: It must be difficult to be a business owner during today’s
changing times — 50 years ago no one had to pay women an equal wage or
even hire black people, and now there’s all this social media and
Obamacare making everything confusing.

SUNDAY JUNE 16: The Muppets from Sesame Street
today introduced a new character named Alex whose father is
incarcerated. Since we live in the nation that imprisons a higher
percentage of its populace than any other in the goddamned world, it
makes sense to reduce the stigma attached to this aspect of our society.

MONDAY JUNE 10: When people get freaked out that everything
they do online and via telephone is being recorded by an
unconstitutional and invasive governmental presence, the first thing
they do is get on amazon.com and order George Orwell’s novel 1984.

THURSDAY MAY 23: Most people wouldn’t feel that great
about taking a job when one of the tasks at hand is to find your own
replacement, but that just goes to show you how disconnected average
people are from the world of corporate executives (they get $1.6 million
signing bonuses, you dumbass!)