'The F Zone' and the worth of a politician

It was the social event of the season in Hardyville. Last Friday, the
Hardyville One-Plex actually stopped playing
“Anastasia.” Naturally, most of the town showed up, if only to gawk in
wonder at the Anastasialess marquee.

But it’s not just what they weren’t playing, but what theywere playing that drew the crowd. That night — for an audience
that (mostly) even cleaned its boots for the occasion — the One-Plex
held the Hardy County premier ”The F Zone.”

Hold onto your hats — The F Zone is a full-length feature film that
exposes the illegality of the income tax.

The plot thickens

Here’s the tale: Dennis Smith is an independent producer of
commercials and industrial films. One day, as his brother lays dying,
the IRS decides to make an example of him. Their purpose: by breaking
him, to scare the whole film industry into compliance with a draconian
new interpretation of the tax code. (They’re trying to prove independent
contractors are “employees” once again; are we surprised?)

The agency — in the persona of the formidable Lothar Gunter (Lee
West) — hits Smith with a $200,000-plus tax levy. Smith (played by
unknown William Harrity) decides to rebel. With the help of a beautiful
young attorney (Kelly Hunt), he eventually learns that the income tax is
illegal. The
script uses the Benson/Beckman research on the 16th
Amendment to make its anti-tax case.

While being relentlessly pursued by Gunter and a multi-jurisdictional
mob of thugs, Smith ultimately agrees to the attorney’s plan to make a
movie about the real nature of the income tax. Plots within plots. A
little romance. A clever twist.

Is this the greatest movie ever made? Is this “Braveheart”? Is this
even ”Harry’s
War” (that touching — and eerily prophetic — anti-IRS film from
1981)? No. Any movie that names its chief villain Lothar Gunter isn’t
big on subtlety, and in many ways, The F Zone is exactly what you’d
expect.

I agree with
Alexei Kurupatin — who may have been the only reviewer to stumble
on this independent film in a theater outside of Hardyville: “This is
not a good movie, but it is very definitely an important movie.”

After reading Alexei’s review, however, I was prepared to see amateur
work. This isn’t. While it ain’t great art, It ain’t “Attack of the
Killer Tomatoes,” either. The F Zone is as well made as half of
what comes out of Hollywood. The directing, camera work, lighting and
music (all by film industry newcomers) are professional. The acting is
adequate-to-downright-good. And while the action might not keep you on
the edge of your seat, the story will keep you interested. In
particular, the filmmakers do a good job of explaining legal matters
without putting the audience to sleep.

For all this you can credit William Harrity. He’s not only the star,
but also writer, co-producer, film editor, chief financier and stunt
pilot of an airplane that plays a prominent role in the film. Oh yes,
did I mention he built the airplane? And that in his spare time
he works as an
anesthesiologist?

(Dora-the-Yalie and Janelle-the-waitress asked me to add: “This man
is a hunk, and his abs are to drool on. Who needs John-John when you’ve
got Harrity?”)

The title of the movie refers to “The Federal Zone” — the arena in
which the government can do whatever it wishes. Although The F Zone
shouldn’t be confused with the porn flick of the same name, “F” also
refers to the way We The People get “effed.” In part, the movie is a
sovereign-citizen tract (taking a position against zip codes and
two-letter state abbreviations, saying they bind individuals to the
fedgov); in a broader sense it’s a wake-up call for anyone who hasn’t
already discovered that the IRS is an illegal and ruthless agent of
tyranny.

Bottom line: it’s encouraging to know someone has managed to make and
market this movie at all.

The F Zone is going straight from limited theatrical release into
video. According to Harrity, its “street date” will be October 12, and
its price $19.95, plus shipping. You can place an order or get more
information from:

While this may seem an unconscionable waste, it has produced one very
useful result — the first scientific measurement of the worth of a
politician. I’m proud to say that this breakthrough was made by a
FreeLife reader — and that he chose to publish it not in some exalted
scientific journal, but right here on WorldNetDaily.

I hereby step aside and present the brilliant analytic work of Norm
Van Broekhoven:

Al Gore, who — in a desperate effort to save the last
remaining drop of clean water (and to train the American public to
acquiesce to whatever we are told to do in the name of “the common
good”) — forced upon us non-working, 1.6 gallon-per-flush toilets —

Al Gore, who told us more honestly than he intended: “I believe we
are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but
that could change” (Like, for instance, if Al Gore gets elected
president) —

Al Gore, the eco-moron who informs us that: “It isn’t pollution
that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water
that are doing it” —

The blatant hypocrisy shown by Mr. Ecology in wasting 4 billion
gallons of water is obvious. But this incident presents an exciting,
perhaps unprecedented, opportunity.

As a hydrogeologist, I realized that this incident gives us a rare
opportunity to quantitatively measure the worth of a politician’s
aspirations. Yes, I said quantitatively measure. That’s right —
actually, numerically measure the worth of a politician.

Lets do a little math.

(4 billion gallons of water)

(1.6 gallons of water/toilet full of crap)

= 2.5 billion toilets full of crap

This proves that the effort of keeping Al Gore afloat is worth
exactly 2.5 billion piles of crap. QED

Now unless someone can prove to me that there are 2.5 billion people
who think Al Gore is worth a s—, I say we flush him.

And there you have it. A truly breathtaking scientific discovery.

Though this measurement is uniquely suited to the history and
proclivities of Mr. Gore, it takes little imagination to see that Van
Broekhoven’s Fundamental Unit of Political Measurement — the Load of
Crap, or LoC — applies equally well to other politicians.

Now the only question is: How do we nominate Norm for a Nobel Prize?

NOTE: No FreeLife column next Thursday, guys. I’m taking off to
conspire and plot. See you on August 12!