The Yankee Candle Company is one of the biggest manufacturers of scented candles in the country. That’s probably because almost everyone has a mother that they need to buy last-minute gifts for. While classic scents like Aloe Vera, Peaches & Berries, and Carrot Cake are quite popular, there has always been an underserved demographic that the company wanted to tap into: the 50 percent of us with XY chromosomes. That’s why Yankee devised a line last year aimed directly at the interests of dudes: the Man Candle series. Joining scents like Man Town, First Down, and Riding Mower this year are two new options: MMM, Bacon! and Movie Night. Surprisingly, still no Hockey Bag or Pizza Box Mold options in the works, but one can hope. So what do the new scents smell like?

Movie Night This one fits the man theme well, in appearance anyway. It looks like the type of congealed mayonnaise jar you’d excavate out of the back of a single guy’s fridge after cleaning it for the first time in years. Fortunately, it smells a lot better than that. The dominating note is vanilla, which one might not associate with popcorn and the movies, but most of the movie theater smells one can think of aren’t quite this pleasant, anyway. Unlike the smell of fresh popcorn, which can really dominate the room, this is pretty subtle. Then again, there’s nothing very stereotypically male about subtlety, is there?

MMM, Bacon! If you’ve ever been to a guy’s place you know that how it smells isn’t exactly of primary importance, not to mention how it looks, but this candle is probably meant for livening up the joint when a man is entertaining. Who exactly he’ll be entertaining isn’t quite clear — other bacon-loving men? The special person in his life? “Why would you want that in a candle?” one’s wife might ask were you to employ this one in trying to set the mood at home. Exactly! This candle is not for her. Think of it like a dog whistle, or those high-pitched noises they use to drive loitering teenagers out of stores, this scent is only discernible to the bro nose. And what is that scent in this case? It’s the bottom of the bacon-bit bowl at a salad bar buffet.

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So should you buy these for the man in your life? Short answer: no. Long answer: also no. If you’re in a pinch for a last-minute gift on a birthday or Father’s Day, skip these candles and get him something that he might enjoy: Cook up some actual bacon, make a bowl of popcorn, or even mow the lawn.