'DPRK in real news' shocker

Yes, really. A bit more exciting than the daily denunciations of Japan and South Korea, visits to factories and mysterious gifts from kow towing diplomats:

"Shortly ago, a person surnamed Ri was discovered and arrested while being active to carry out the terrorist mission given by a south Korean puppet intelligence-gathering organization to do harm to the safety of the top leader of the DPRK (maybe Ri was going to trip up KJI, or give him a chinese burn?). According to the disclosure, he crossed the border in violation of the law and order early this year. He was absorbed by an agent surnamed Hwang serving an intelligence organ of south Korea who had the mission to rally dishonest elements after finding his way into an area near the border of the DPRK".

And there's more:

"This case goes to prove that the south Korean puppets have gone the lengths of resorting to thrice-cursed methods to dare harm the headquarters of the DPRK, hell-bent on inciting confrontation with the DPRK. The weak are apt to employ such despicable terrorist method like a stray cat when they find themselves in an inferior position in the showdown with their rival in the political and military aspects....It is our duty and mission to ferret out and deal a merciless blow at anyone who dares give his eye-teeth for the headquarters of the Korean revolution no matter from where he makes such attempt".

"The Lee Myung Bak group are behaving coquettishly before their Japanese master, covering up the hideous crimes committed by Japan in the past and making their eyes at it, while making all desperate efforts to block national independence and reunification, do harm to their fellow countrymen and stifle them. That is why all the Koreans are now expressing irrepressible resentment at the group".

In a rather alarming development, I had a dream about Kim Jong Il last night, in which he had a rabbit that was strong in Juche character. I think I need a break from this.