Perry wins! Stays away!

Can you win a straw poll by not showing up? Sure you can. Texas Gov. Rick Perry proved that Saturday.

While the media flocked to Ames, Iowa, to witness a non-binding, bought-and-paid-for vote, Perry flew to Charleston, S.C., to announce his candidacy for the Republican nomination for president.

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The media could only fume and stamp their feet and remember a famous ditty from 1899: “Last night I saw upon the stair/A little man who wasn’t there/He wasn’t there again today/Oh, how I wish he’d go away.”

But Perry did not go away. He just stayed away. Ignoring Ames, he entered a field of at least 10 Republican candidates, taking the calculated risk that staying away from the straw poll was more important than attending it.

He is almost certainly right about this. Mitt Romney spent $1.5 million to win the straw poll four years ago, only to lose the Iowa caucuses to Mike Huckabee. This year, Romney skipped the straw poll and saved his money for the real event.

Does this mean Perry and Romney know something that the media don’t? Not really. They are just more sensible about what they know.

The Ames straw poll has always been fun and rarely significant. The winners almost never go on to become president. They rarely go on to win even the caucuses.

The press knows that and reports that, but it’s like a serial killer writing on a wall: “Stop me before I strike again!”

The media can’t stay away, but this year their interest grew into an obsession. Rarely has so much been made of so little. Having spent millions of dollars sending reporters, crews and photographers to the straw poll, the media were darn sure they were going to imbue it with significance.

“The epicenter of the political universe!” one network crowed about Ames. Except for the fact that Romney, polling first at 21 percent in national polls, and Perry, polling second at 16.2 percent – even before he announced! – and Sarah Palin, polling fourth at 10 percent, weren’t there.

Michele Bachmann, polling third at 10.2 percent, was at the straw poll – and won it – but one candidate does not an epicenter of a universe make.

“By the way, we have learned that Ron Paul is serving hot dogs and baked beans in his tent!” one anchor breathlessly reported. To its credit, the network did not flash “BREAKING NEWS” on the screen.

“The GOP in Iowa takes the straw poll very seriously!” said another reporter. Nope. Republicans stay from Ames in droves. More than 97 percent of registered Republican voters found something better to do with their Saturday than go to the straw poll this year.