Friday, September 30, 2016

It all started one day at school. My son was in P.E. when his teacher made the fateful decision to let the kids dance all period. It wasn't the dancing that was going to create a ripple effect in my life, however: it was his choice of song. He played "What Does The Fox Say?" by Ylvis for a room full of five-year-olds. That bastard.

From that day forward my son wants to listen to
this song as much as he possibly can. I can honestly say that his obsession
with this song was the first thing he's ever liked or done that made me feel
old simply because I cannot comprehend why he loves it so much. It's an
annoying, weird song. Well, now is about the time I tell you the tale of how I
began to identify with my captor and can sing along to this song with my son
like a pro.

Sometimes, as a parent (especially a stay-at-home parent because you're
with your kids all the time) you find yourself being bombarded by a kids TV
show or song on a 24/7 basis. My son wanted to listen to "What Does the
Fox Say" in the car, at home, he sang it in the tub, I think I even heard
him say "the seal goes ow ow ow"in
his sleep one time. When you find yourself listening to the Frozen soundtrack
for the 100,000,000 time, or watching Doc McStuffins like it's a TWD marathon
parents like me basically go through the five stages of grief.

First:denial.
No, absolutely not. There is no way he can possibly want to listen to that song
AGAIN. I can't take one more verse. Should I pretend like I didn't hear him, or
tell him YouTube is broken? "Oops, sorry son. You listened to this song so
many times you broke the internet."

Second:anger. I
HATE YLVIS. Those dumb bastards wrote this song knowingknowing it was basically
musical crack for kids. WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? Do they have kids? By the old
gods and the new I hope their kids get addicted to The Wiggles and they have to
listen to the "Fruit Salad" song one hundred times a day until they
die.

Third:bargaining.Please. Not again. Don't make
mommy listen to this song again. If you don't make mommy listen to this song
again I'll get you an ice cream cone. Heck, you can have a pint of ice cream.
No? No ice cream? Okay, that's cool man. Whatcha want? I've got candy. No? Do
you want some money? I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY. Just don't make me listen to that
song again. Would you consider wearing headphones? Oh they hurt your ears? Well
this song hurts mommy's ears and her feelings.

Fourth:depression. I'm
never going to feel joy again. It's so cold. Ylvis has over 624,000,000 views
on Youtube and I think at least 1,000,000 of them were my son. Why? Why me? He
even wants to be a fox for Halloween so he can terrorize other people with this
song. I'd cry but that well ran dry a long time ago.

And finally, fifth:acceptance. You know, I guess
it's kind of catchy. They even have some scat at the end there, now that brings
me back to my own 90's childhood. Can we listen to "What Does the Fox
Say?" again? HECK YES. In fact, I think it's time for a DANCE PARTY. You
be the guy who sings in the beginning and I'll be the guy who sings the second
verse. Daddy can make the animal sounds. LET'S ROCK THIS JOINT!

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Don't miss out! The Painted Fox Home is having their store-wide buy more save more sale. Autumn has just begun, so there is no better time than the present to update your home with rustic farmhouse decor. Just click on this link to start shopping before these amazing deals disappear. And don't forget; every item ships free!

Monday, September 19, 2016

Big, surprise, since we already have two boys. Well, get ready for #3. We haven't decided on a name yet, we're still playing around with a few options to see what fits. We're just so happy that so far the little guy looks healthy.

Monday, September 5, 2016

That's right '90's kids! Your favorite neon green 8-bit computer lab game from elementary school is now a table top card game! As a huge fan of the neon version we played at school and the reanimated version that we had on CD-ROM at home I know that I had to have the card version. When I first discovered that Target had just stocked Oregon Trail on it's shelves I immediately went and bought a copy. Just like the computer game, the card game is HARD. You most likely will not make it to Oregon and dying of dysentery is a distinct possibility. Or a snake bite. Or starvation. Or exposure.
So far my husband, our two friends, and ,myself have played nine games and we STILL haven't made it to Oregon. Even though we lose supplies fording rivers, die quite frequently, and are always in need of a new wagon axle, we still have a lot of fun playing.
Just like the computer game, the goal of the card game is to get from Missouri to Oregon. If at least one member of your wagon party survives, everyone wins. There are trail cards, supply cards, and calamity cards. Each player is dealt trail and supply cards, and you only draw calamity cards if you are directed to by the trail card you play on your turn. There are ten rounds of the game, each round consisting of laying down five trail cards from point a (Missouri) to point b (Oregon). Once you have five cards down you stack them up and begin your new set of five right in front of the first stack. By the end of the game (if you don't all die horribly) you will have ten stacks leading from Missouri to Oregon and your team wins the game. I think the closest we've ever gotten is to set nine.

Calamity cards are only drawn when directed on a trail card. Only the player of the card draws a calamity card. Calamities can range from illness, snake bites, injuries, broken wagon parts, etc.

Supply cards remedy calamity cards. You draw supply cards before you set out from Oregon and you can get new cards if you play a Town or Fort card. Players may use their supply cards to help other teammates. Supply cards that are not in hand make up the "store".

I recommend this game, it's fun and has the nostalgia factor going for it. Maybe one day, somehow, my wagon party and I will finally make it to Oregon.