Jam Yer Smartphone (Up Yer Ass)

Chuck E. Cheese, a chain of pizzerias and arcade play spaces often used to host kids birthday parties, has become a hot spot for violent brawls between the adults. Multiple fights have broken out at locations across the country, many captured on cell phone videos then posted on YouTube. These incidents have shined an unusual spotlight on this family-friendly restaurant chain that has been around since 1977. One Chuck E. Cheese location in Susquehanna, Pa., has had a lot of problems. According to Police Chief Robert Martin, local authorities have been called to that location 17 times over the course of 18 months, starting in 2009. Thanks Billoney

Abobo’s Big Adventure is a project that we have been working on for YEARS as a true labor of lovewith one goal in mind: To create the ultimate tribute to the NES! This gargantuan 8-bit parody game is made for the fans by the fans, and now you finally have the chance to control the angriest character in the known universe – Abobo!

The Freaky Friday star has apparently had a ‘major crush’ on the professional for a long time, and no doubt couldn’t wait to get in front of his camera. ‘Lindsay has been texting and phoning him nonstop and he’s actually kind of freaked out by how strong she’s been coming on to him,’ the source added. ‘It’s a difficult situation though as they move in the same circles and have a lot of mutual friends. He’s trying to work out a way to let her down gently without blowing their friendship.’

In 1998, “Jodi,” a Wisconsin woman, met a man in an Internet chat room who went by the moniker, GMYourGod. Jodi was about to embark on a long, sordid journey that would end in the U.S. Supreme Court; her dramatic and salacious case would be one of the weirdest the Supreme Court has ever seen. The chatroom was dedicated to sadomasochism, and GMYourGod, in reality one Glenn Marcus, would soon become her “master.” Jodi had dabbled in two prior sadomasochist relationships before she met Marcus, but Marcus operated on an entirely different level. Marcus had a reputation as a hardcore master. For one thing, he didn’t use safe words—something the mainstream bondage, dominance and sadomasochistic (BDSM) community generally uses. In a dominant-submissive relationship, safe words are a code for an activity—flogging, for example—to stop. They are the primary means by which the submissive partner could communicate that the activity was no longer consensual. Thanks Jasmine

A former sex slave turned the tables on her tormentor in a Brooklyn court Monday, delivering a verbal lashing before a judge sentenced him to eight years in prison. “I walk around and carry the physical scars of the torture you put me through. The cigarette burns, the knife carvings, the piercings,” the woman, referred to in court simply as Jodi, told Glenn Marcus. “How a human being can see humor in the torture, manipulation and brainwashing of another human being is beyond comprehension. You have given me a life sentence.” Marcus, 58, had appealed his sex trafficking and forced labor conviction all the way up to the U.S. Supreme Court, which sent the case back to Brooklyn for resentencing. Facing more than 20 years for torturing Jodi after she tried to break off their master-slave relationship, Marcus asked for a nonjail sentence so he could care for his elderly mother in their suburban Long Island home.

Frustrated with fellow bus riders incessantly talking on their cell phones, a Philadelphia man began jamming the cell reception to silence their conversations. The NBC10 Investigators tracked down the cell phone zapper who targets talkers on a SEPTA bus route. Not only does he admit doing it, he thinks it’s a good thing. The man, who calls himself Eric, told the NBC10 Investigators, “I guess I’m taking the law into my own hands and quite frankly, I’m proud of it.” Eric says he doesn’t want to hear people talking on their cell phones in public. “It’s still pretty irritating and quite frankly it’s pretty rude,” said Eric. Eric says he’s firing up a cell phone jammer that he bought online to shut down conversations he doesn’t want to hear. “A lot of people are extremely loud, no sense of just privacy or anything, when it becomes a bother, that’s when I screw on the antenna and flip the switch,” said Eric.

According to a 2003 study by German and American scientists, a component of the Lily of the Valley scent known as Bourgeonal alters the calcium balance of human sperm and attracts the sperm. The “Lily of the Valley phenomenon” — also the title of a book about smelling — was born as a result of this discovery that sperm act as swimming olfactory cells which follow a “scent trail” laid by the egg. However, a detailed explanation for the Lily of the Valley phenomenon remained illusive as neither Bourgeonal nor other scents could be identified in the female sex organ. Scientists from the caesar research centre in Bonn, an Institute of the Max Planck Society, have now discovered that sperm do not function like olfactory cells — a finding that casts doubt on the assumption that scents play a role in fertilisation.

Richmore Mashinga Jazi, a self-employed carpenter, was watching live coverage of Mugabe’s birthday bash last Friday while drinking with friends when he allegedly suggested that the 88-year-old president had sought help to blow up the balloons. “Ko ndiani abatsira kufuridzira Mugabe zvibharuma zvebirthday rake, uye achiri nesimba racho here? (Who helped Mugabe blow up his birthday balloons, does he still have the energy?) is the statement that got Mugabe’s loyalists mad, resulting in the arrest of Jazi.

Every major website tracks its users as they make their way through the site, but in an analysis completed by the privacy company, Abine, one major website stands out for the number and variety of tracking methods used on its site: The Drudge Report. That’s a surprising finding given that the site’s appearance hasn’t changed in a decade. In a recent salutary profile, The New York Times’ David Carr noted the site had “no video, no search optimization, no slide shows, and a design that is right out of a mid-’90s manual on HTML.” But don’t be fooled by Drudge’s surface simplicity: When you the visit, up to 27 different tracking technologies from 18 separate companies are deployed. Drudge is like a 1995 Ford Escort with a 500-horsepower advertising engine under the hood. Drudge uses twice the number of advertising tools as the average site, according to Abine. And Drudge stands out even among news sites, which Abine CTO Andrew Sudbury said deploy “a high number of tracking technologies.”