Welcome to the Onion Bag, your primary source of weird and wonderful stories from world football!

First up, we look at England manager Roy Hodgson, who has landed himself in a spot of bother with a NASA "space monkey" analogy he gave to his players during a half-time team talk. Perhaps the 66-year-old should stick to the coaching rather than the stand-up routine.

Next, we look at precocious Welshman Harry Wilson, who has earned his grandfather £125,000 upon his international senior debut, thanks to a bet that was placed when he was an infant.

And finally, we go to Tahiti, where they've changed the rules so that teams are awarded points for losses, to prevent anyone feeling "sad."