Haha, love this beginning! Demi sounds like a pretty cool character; I wonder what she looks like (; I laughed out loud at the, "Broken rubber," comment. It gives me a mental image of Demi's parent's humping each other now :L Your dialogue is easy and very enjoyable to read; I love that Mrs Potter insists on Sirius calling her mom.

I did notice some things though. The British obviously have a different pronunciation, so they usually call their mothers, "Mum." Last note; I noticed this once or twice, 'Jame's.' It's like James' name is actually Jame :L

Sorry for pointing out the kind of .. mistakes o.O But overall this was a good start and I'm really looking forward to the next chapter! :D

9/10 (;

Author's Response: It\\\'s ok. I\\\'d actually like it if you please do keep correcting my mistakes-- how am I supposed to get better? Anywho, yeah. I based Demi off of my best friend, who I love uncontrollably.

Also, I will make sure that I use \\\'mum\\\' instead of \\\'mom\\\', because that did make sense. >_>
I probably just had a brain fart and forgot all about it 8D

Nice story. It was kida random, in a good way though! I liked the last part where she lands in a room full of boys. That part was a.k.w.a.r.d. ha ha. So, if you like mysterious, dark romance stories, I highly suggest Stranger by EnnaBellaPotter. I read it and thought it was amazing.
Good story though.

Author's Response: Yeah, haha. And, I will check out that story! I will tell you if I like it(:

ooo! i like where this is going you shuld totally put up another chapter...or you know a few more chapters lol just keep writing this story!! Just don't abandon it cuz i swear all of the good ones get abandoned!! And for some reason i dnt think i spelled abandon or abandoned right!!

Author's Response: I don't plan on abandoning it any time soon. Just as long as you guys keep reviewing, (: