Cycling the Bay Area & Stories from the Garden

A Random Act of…

Reader’s note: This post is completely off-topic & has no gardening content other than images. I will be back with updates from my patio garden after this ~ since you’re here, please read & feel free to comment if you’re so moved. Thanks, Noah

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

This is not the wall, don't get excited

You Know that Wall?

(‘What wall?’ You probably asked yourself right about now, yes?)

I am glad that you asked. The wall which I will be writing about is a type of wall that even the least skilled mason can construct with relative ease.

Such walls, most built without even a rudimentary understanding of construction basics on the builders part, are built everyday, everywhere, by just about everyone. Even with the utter lack of wall building acumen involved in their construction, most of these walls are surprisingly resilient and difficult to break down (I’m talking Fort Knox strong).

No, this is definitely not the wall

So, You Know that Wall, right?

Yes, you do. Each of us, at various times in our individual journeys have knowingly, or unknowingly, been through a journeyman apprenticeship program in the construction of these walls. It’s our wall, we are the wall, each of us builds our wall according to our needs at the time of the first brick laying.

Most walls are in a constant state of flux. Constantly being fortified. Perimeter sweeps are performed with precision and regularity. It would take Seal Team 6 & Chuck Norris to get thorough some of these walls (take that Hadrian!).

Yes, that’s the one, that wall.

Getting closer, but no, not the wall

Good, You Know that Wall.

Now that we are all reading from the same page, in the same chapter, in the same book, during the same class, at the same school, in the same town, let’s take a closer look at a couple of walls.

The following sentiments are those experienced by writer ~ the reader is likely to have a completely dissimilar experience

The whisper grew

My main wall is an old wall, the first bricks of the old wall were laid when I was around age six or seven following my parent’s bitter divorce. Now, at age 43, it is evident that I have been building on the base foundations for a decent amount of time.

I laid my first bricks on a foundation of broken trust and a wall rose from there. The trust wall grew larger and new walls were added.

Another important (at least to me) wall was built upon a foundation of pure cynicism, the foundation was solid and this wall too began its accent.

Both the cynicism wall and the trust wall seemed impenetrable to me. I searched often and weak links were rarely ever found. I was safe. My walls were strong. Hardened from years in a suffocating corporate environment and the seemingly never-ending assortment of random people who drifted in and out of my little town (MyLife, CA).

For the next 30+ years, these walls remained close and trusted friends (a word that has meant many different things to me at different times in my life).

My walls were, for much of my life, my only real constant. They did not leave when times got tough, they did not judge, they did not ask for anything, and they did not die, they just were.

A brick landed here

A strange thing happened recently

I noticed that bricks have been coming loose with a regularity that is quite noticeable. A brick landing here and another landing there. Why strange? Because I am not putting them back in the walls from which they fall anymore.

Lately, it has become evident that both the mass and scale of my personal walls no longer match the sentimental value I assigned them, nor do they warrant the high place of importance they once held in my life. They are unkempt. They are a mess.

The video’s presenter, Mr. Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, who is apparently a yogi (no, not the bear and not the baseball player, either), was selling a large-scale, life enrichment package. I am not currently in the market for such a product; however, I did pick-up the following trinket from the gift shop as I was exiting.

He speaks of the unrealistic perception of life many people hold on to, and that this view of life is often the basis of many of our fears. Adding that our general unwillingness to live and to die without trying to manipulate the outcome, keeps us from living our actual lives.

He illustrates his hypothesis with the observation that many of us obsess about the future, always wondering what is going to happen next. We look to our past, building on our fears of what is/or isn’t going to happen next, wondering if we did that, would this outcome be different.

We then turn these fears of our future into barriers (walls, if you will) to living in the present. He concludes with the fact that most of our fears are about things that have not happened yet; they may happen, they may not happen, but in the present reality of today, they simply do not actually exist.

soon, it was much louder

His point: (at least what I took from it)

The things many of us fear in our everyday lives, in all reality, exist only in our minds.

This conclusion caught me a bit off-guard. Realizing that much of what we all worry about, fear, or otherwise occupy our present with, are no more real than the ‘boogie man’ or ‘Government Intelligence’.

My fears existed in a distant past, my cynicism rooted itself long ago when I was someone who I am not today. I spent a lot of time worried about the fears of my past reappearing in my near-future, causing me to completely miss the opportunity to experience the wonder of today.

Last Wednesday, my belief in human kindness and goodness was given a much-needed booster shot with a Random Act of… honesty, integrity, and kindness. It was a simple act and by no means extraordinary; however, it showed me that good people are still raising good children and that good still exists out there.

There will be no pictures of walls today

The world is not doomed, there is hope, we can make it better - together

What is the picture about? That is my cell phone. I lost the phone while on a hike in a public park last Sunday. On Wednesday, I received the phone in the mail. It was returned by a family that knows right from wrong . The family’s 8-year old grandson found my phone and took it to his grandparents, who checked the phone for a contact number of the owner. They saw a text from my friends, which was sent earlier in the day, asking that whoever finds the phone please call them. They called. Hence the picture.

My cynicism lived deep within me and echoed loudly that people were generally uncaring and that the world was on a crash course for self-destruction. Why would I want to do anything to slow the inevitable?

My trust issues were born from the problems of others. Yet, it was me, who chose to adopt them and raise them as my own. Over time, I convinced myself that honesty is simply a tool that the masses use to get what they want – merely an ulterior motive, if you will.

A carefully package box arrived in the mail last Wednesday, with a lovely card (which now sits proudly at my desk), and my cell phone. There were no expectations or hopes of financial gain included in the package – I checked.

A United States Postal Service box told me that honesty and good still exist

Thank you family from Sacramento, CA - I love the card!

Now, it is late in the day and I have rambled enough, tomorrow is tomorrow, yesterday was yesterday and today, today I gave my hock and trowel back. I never really liked masonry anyway, I am going back to the garden to tend to my plants.

and... there you have it!

Thank you for reading this post – please feel free take from it what you will (all, some, or none).

2 Responses

Thank you Kate – it is taking me some time to come to terms with the part of me that says, “f*uck it, let it all burn and get it over with already” and the parts of me that I am discovering within myself that tell me, “it’s not hopeless, there are a lot of good people and good people inspire good things” – I decided that I am opting in with the optimists for now. 🙂