Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Soup Is For Closers?

In the wake of Trevor Hoffman Gagneing away another game in spectacular fashion, it's clear that the "sample size" argument -- i.e., it's early, he's had a lot of success over the years, you can't make an informed decision about whether Hoffman is cooked after six (or so) games -- can be stuffed in a sack.

He's done. He has one plus pitch, and he refuses to throw it, instead opting for an 84-mph fastball that doesn't move (at least until it's hit out of the stadium). In the month of April, he's given up twice as many homers (5) as he did all of last season (2). Yes, he looked great last season, but, for some athletes, the end sometimes comes very quickly and with little advance warning. Hoffman looks like he fits in that category.

The M&M boys have made a number of moves based on the results of a few games (or, in the case of spring training, a few irrelevant games), removing Suppan from the rotation after two starts, exiling Parra to the 'pen after a bad spring, plugging Narveson into the No. 5 starter spot after a handful of good starts last September, and slashing Hart's playing time because he was awful in Arizona (and because JimEd had a solid spring). So, in the interest of being consistent, Hoff has to be removed from the closer's spot.But, who takes the slab in the ninth now? It sure as shit isn't going to be Chuck New Town, who was a light-to-moderate disaster in his brief fill-in stint for Hoffman at the beginning of last season. Parra is just getting settled into his new role, insofar as "pitching every single day, regardless of score or circumstance" qualifies as a role. Hawkins needs to figure out the eighth inning before I'll trust him in the ninth. Vargas needs to be saved to do his one-pitch, two-outs trick illusion. And title of this post notwithstanding, I can't begin to type the words "Jeff Suppan" without breaking into a giggle fit. That ain't happening.

That leaves Todd Coffey, who's the most logical choice and who would unquestionably have the most excellent entrance from the 'pen in the ninth. COFFEY'S FOR CLOSERS. I can get behind this.