Friday, May 25, 2012

Groovy Kind of Love

It's May. In the past seven or eight years in my life, this means that I have lost or about to loose a loved one. Between March thru May, I always cringe when the phone rings late at night or early in the morning.

Last year, I was invited to be the voice of a client who was dying. He chose me to be his agent. He also met his long lost brother... Who never left his side. We were as close as a client / staff member could be, and this helped me to know and understand what his wishes were. When he passed, I had a sense that it happened, as I couldn't sleep. He is missed and he is remembered.

This May, I have that pleasure again. J and I went up to hospice to visit R on Monday. It was a hard visit as R wasn't able to communicate like he once did- he was famous for teasing me and making me laugh. I was able to keep it together until we left his room... I cried in the lounge prior to coming home.

Why do I do this? I am chosen, and this is a privilege. The clients loved me and I love them back. There is a trust there that allows them to choose me. I know their wishes and they trust me to follow through on them.

Last night (Wednesday), the hospice called my place of work... R wasn't going to make the night. I was sent up to be with R as he passed. It was a hard thing to do, however, I was well supported and in turn I was able to share this support with R. When it came time for him to exhale for the last time, I was there, letting him know how special he was, how much love we shared and how he will never be forgotten. I have an amazing team that I work with- I was checked on and hugged by every single one upon my return. The people that I had to get in touch with- coworkers who also knew and loved R- were so supportive and loving. I love that kind of love.

This is a journey of the soul. I never knew that I could be so strong, so full of love for the ones who chose me to be there. I know that I am loved.... by my Higher Power, by my J, my family, friends, framily,co-workers and my clients... and this helps me give what I love get away.

Groovy Kind of Love- the love that is chosen to be given away. Share that love today!

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Who I Am

A cardiac nurse who has a heart to serve those who are underserved, underprivledge, hurting. I worked in non profit agencies and was able to head to Haiti to help out for a week in 2011 ...and it changed my heart forever. I hate having my picture taken. I LOVE TO READ! I am a crazy cat lady to one beautiful Grey Longhair Russian Blue.