Walking
together through the little park in front of the church. Our hands clasped
so tight wishing to be assured that it was all real, tangible and
possible.

I miss
going to the petshop with you.

Pet the
rabbits, awe at the tarantulas. Beg you for a cat, or ask you for a
bearded dragon I could name myself. You never asked but I would have named
him Falcor... Like the dragon in the never-ending story.

I do miss
your pets.

I miss
lazy nights and quiet weekends.

Gazing at
the aquarium and reading in your couch. The brown sofa with the white and
blue flowery cover. I miss that cover... And the pillow you loved with the
hippo! Laying there with my feet up singing along to some random song on your
ipod.

I miss
late Sunday lunches in the balcony.

Ommelete
the way your mom got you used to like, with feta cheese and fresh tomatoes... I
loved cooking it for you.

I miss
the sunsets lounging outside.

The
glasses of margaritas sitting half empty in the tiled heavy table, while we
talked of a future that never came to be.

I miss
your eyes on me while I put on my make up...

You
sitting on the floor and looking at me with a dreamy gaze. What were you
dreaming about? I always wondered and never asked.

I miss
wondering about your thoughts.

I miss
the morning after the parties.

Waking up
before you and making strong, black coffee. The empty bottles of beer all
throughout the house. You liked to try the small breweries and the bitter, the
better.

I miss
tasting that bitterness in your mouth.

I miss
the blue camping chairs outside.

The
chairs where you would end our late nights, your hoodie on, all curled up, with
the sun already rising and the last beer in your hand.

There was an aura of a beautiful story to come. It was all
painted with those bright, hazy colors unique to dreams and good
memories.

I miss
the little china plates on the big bookshelf by the entrance.

We found
them with your mom in the big thrift store downtown... The one where we spent
countless Sunday afternoons looking for hidden treasures before going to roam
around the 2nd hand bookshop.

I miss your big brown eyes piercing my own.

Staring deep into what I had wanted to carefully hide. Without a
blink. Only your arms holding my body against yours and my name coming out of your
lips, followed by an eager 'I love you'.

I miss your music.

Sharing songs and lyrics with you... laying my head on your
shoulder and listening to the music we loved.

I will miss you forever in all the concerts we won't ever
share.

I miss finding love in each move of yours.

Going out with you, have fun, laugh and dance the night
away... All my happiness in your laughter, your joy, your pleasure.

I haven't heard you laugh in so long now... Will I ever hear it again?

I miss your Mickey t-shirt and your jeans rolled up when you
biked.

I miss the beginning when it was all uneasy and uncertain.The
excitment, the hope... even the fear. We were two explorers finding each
other in ways that no words can explain.

It was all to come. All ahead.

Now it is all behind as we counted the days there were
numbered for us to share.

All of them.

I miss you dear friend, dear lover, dear enemy... I miss you but
I don't want you no more.

For you were never mine to have.

The park in front of the church still has a green lawn... but
your hand is not on mine anymore.

The balcony is there, lonely now, without the camping chairs,
the tiled table or us.

I still put on my make-up in front of the mirror but as I glance
over my shoulder I can't see you sitting on the floor.The china plates ended up shattered, in a thousand broken pieces, on the ground... and the bookshelf is now empty of everything… of you & I.

Your
thoughts may belong to someone else and are not mine to wonder about no more.

You have
your pets, your music, your beautiful eyes, but your life is no longer part of
mine.

The memories got tainted and the dreams never came to be.

Now I am
the 2nd hand book waiting for someone to find me on a lazy Sunday afternoon.