Ticking Of The Clock

I have lost the will to live. Every day, every minute, every second, I am just sailing throught time like a ship without a sailor, no destination. My parents keep teliing me,” Stop moping. Be grateful.”But I will just stare into space, more content on staring at those lifeless walls then to put effort into living because what is there to be grateful for? I know I have lost the enthusiasm to live when I didn’t care anymore whatever people think about me. I used to freak out when I get to know someone hates me, long time ago. I strived so hard, to live a good life, to be liked by everyone. But what’s it for? I am sick and tired of people and their attitude. I don’t know what life is suppose to mean, trying to survive in a place you don’t want to be, with people who you dislike and whom dislike you?

Why must there be a destination? It's a long held tennant that the journey is way more important then the destination. I forget what author said it, but "life can only be understood looking backward, but must be lived going forward." i remember times when I was alone more alone than I can tell. I had nothing at all to live for, even my own mind betrayed me, but I am glad I did not give in to those feelings. You don't know what joys and meaning await you. but I have yet to meet someone who thought it wasn't worth it after they persevered. I know , only words, so chew on this. If I had given up, I wouldn't have met you. And I would've hated to miss meeting you. jack

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