Lemmy bolted upright in his bed and saw his teacher, Mr. Waleiss, blowing
a fog horn. At first he was mad, but then he remembered what the siren
meant. "Snow day!" Lemmy cheered.

"Tropical Storm Day," Mr. Waleiss corrected.

"Who cares?" grinned Lemmy. "I'm going to have the best day ever."

And he did. Only later was it that Lemmy realized that his school was
in the castle, so rain was not an issue. And Mr. Waleiss lived in the servants
quarters, in the castle. And the nearest tropical storm was in Water Land,
clear across the Mushroom Kingdom. But Lemmy didn't care, since he had
spent the day swimming and playing pranks.

Lickety split Lemmy sat up, only to see that it was only Mr. Waleiss
and his fog horn. "Tropical Storm Damage Day," he explained.

"Yahoo!" Lemmy cheered, leaping out of bed. He spent the day perfecting
some ball tricks he just never seemed to have time for. Only later did
he realize that there was no damage, at least not in the Koopa's castle.

Lemmy jumped out of bed, but it was only Mr. Waleiss. "Power Outage
Day," he explained.

Lemmy noticed that there was no power in the castle. But that didn't
stop him from mocking all his siblings and thinking up new jokes. Only
later did Lemmy realize that since the school was in the castle, the fact
that there was no power didn't makie it any more harmful to be in school
than to be allowed loose.

Lemmy only sat up this time, knowing it was Mr. Waleiss. "Sick Day,"
he explained.

By this time, Lemmy was getting worried about all the days of school
he would have to make up, probably during the winter when he had the least
time available in the first place. But he wasn't going to let the day go
to waste. He went to Ice Land and spent the day making snowmen. Only later
did he realize that he wasn't sick at all. And that Mr. Waleiss looked
fine. And that he was smiling. And that there would substitute teachers
available.

Lemmy slowly opened an eye so he could see his teacher. "State of Emergency
Day," Mr. Waleiss explained.

By now Lemmy was starting to get annoyed. Still, he enjoyed spending
the day relaxing at the beach and reading comics. Only later did he realize
that no emergency had been delcared, at least not by Bowser.

Believe it or not, the next day came, and Lemmy was sleeping yet again.

One day, Lemmy was walking to the beach. Then he was attack by this
huge crab and it grabbed him and started flinging him around the beach
like a rubber band. Then Lemmy was wondering, “Why is this stupid crab
attacking me?” And then Lemmy took out his Freeze Gun and froze the giant
crab. It looked like the crab was trying to say something. He couldn't
understand him since he was frozen. So then Lemmy unfroze him with a special
feature.

The crab yelled, "Why the heck did you freeze me? I just wanted attention,
is that so wrong?! Then you come and freeze me!"

So then Lemmy said, "I'm sorry, but I've never met a taking crab before...
you're amazing!"

“You've never met a talking crab before?”

Lemmy replied, "NO! You're the first!"

“There is a whole colony of talking crabs around here you moron!”

Lemmy thought he could make a lot of money off of crab meat, but that
wouldm ake the giant crabs mad and they would fling him around some more.
The rest of the Koopa family came by right before Lemmy asked, "How long
have you been here?" Then Bowser looked at the huge talking crab and took
out a fork and knife! Lemmy thought fast and shouted "NO!"

Bowser snapped, "You're not the boss and I'M hungry!"

So then Lemmy thought and said, "Uh... I brought a picnic basket!"

But then Bowser said, "I'm hungry for MEAT, and there's no meat in there!"

Then Lemmy said, "How about this nice slice of bread or uh these delicious
veggies uh or how about a blech, Tongue Sandwich?”

Then the crab started to fling Bowser around and all the Koopa Kids
had their eyes wide open, except for Lemmy. Then the crab put a gun to
Bowser'shead and yelled, “Don't anyone move or I'll fill him full of lead,
that will teach you to try to eat me and my friends!” Then Ludwig said
that he wouldn't care because he could be ruler of Dark Land. “I won't
kill your daddy unless you do something important for me.”

So then Wendy asked, "What do you want us to do?"

“I want you to set all the little crabs free from pet shops and diners!”

All the Koopalings, especially Ludwig, thought it was a great idea.
But then Wendy remembered that she would probably have to do most of the
work. "What are you going to do for me?" she asked Ludwig.

"First you will set free all the crabs from the restaurants and pet
shops. Then we’ll do whatever is left to do," Ludwig said.

They were off. After about a month they were done and when they got
back to the beach Bowser was cleaning his teeth with a toothpick and the
crab was gone. Then Bowser burped. “You ate the crab, you idiot!!!!!!!”
Lemmy yelled, “Nooooooo!!!” Then Bowser burped and took his crab bib off,
and then some huger talking crabs came by and looked real angry! So they
beat up Bowser and he was injured really badly! And to top it off, the
entire crab colony took Bowser hostage underwater. The Koopa Kids had a
meeting to decide how to save Bowser. Then they got into these cool ninja
outfits and were ready to battle the giant crabs, but they saw Mario and
Yoshi eating the crab army.S o they kept going to search for Bowser. They
dived underwater, but the water was scalding hot! They found out they jumped
into the biggest volcano on Plit! Uh oh! Then Morton fell in completely
and every one cheered and then one of the Koopa Kids got a parachute and
the hot volcano air pulled him out of the volcano and on his way up he
yelled, “suckers!”

A gunshot was heard. The parachute fell off, and then the Koopaling
fell into to the volcano, but luckily it was Lemmy and he froze the lava
with his Freeze Gun, locking Morton under the ice. Morton screamed and
the ice exploded.Then under the shards of sharp ice giant crabs came out
and took the Koopa Kids to Bowser! He had been elected Dictator by the
crabs. Then the Koopa Kids got to meet the Crab Kids but then the Koopa
Kids ate the Crab Kids! "Needs salt," Iggy commented.

Then Bowser got mad at the Koopa Kids for eating them and they were
sent to crab jail. And Roy saw that there five crabs in the same cell with
them and he ate them.

Meanwhile, a group of crabs that hated Bowser grabbed him and put him
into a guillotine, and made Ludwig their ruler because he was a million
times smarter than Bowser. Ludwig used them as experiments, so the crabs
threw him over a cliff. He crashed into the King Crab's castle and fell
on him, killing him. They then made Morton king. (Big mistake) They didn't
like him, so they... gave the crown to the talking crab who started this
whole story! Unfortunately, Roy had eaten the crab, and was now hiding
in its shell, so Roy became king! But another crab chopped Roy's head off,
forcing him to get head surgery, making that crab king. Larry hired the
crab, so Larry was really king. But Wendy wanted to be the ruler of the
crabs, so she threw her loudest temper-tantrum ever, causing them to chop
her head off, forcing her to get head surgery. Larry was caught eating
the talking crab's Mom! Wendy got her head redone. That made her look like
the princess. The talking crab’s Dad ate Larry. Then they made Iggy their
king. While Iggy got up to get something he broke his glasses and fell,
squashing the talking crab and the talking crab's Dad and Larry was spit
out of the Dad's body, chewed up. The crabs got mad at Iggy and executed
him.

Lemmy was king. Would he survive? When Lemmy fed the crabs their crab
grub he gave them grub that was 21 years expired by accident. His heart
was taken out, killing him, but it ended his having a dream! Morton was
still the king of crabs and no one died yet! Except Bowser, who was still
in the guillotine. Then Wendy wanted to be the queen so badly that she
threw Morton down the drain and made the crabs makeher their new ruler.
Things proceeded as they had in the dream, and Lemmy was king again, and
everyone else was in plastic surgery. When Lemmy realized he was alone
he cut off his head. (He went into plastic surgery.) All the crabs did
that as well (because they do whatever the king does). All the crabs died
and were extinct, and that was the end of crabs.

Meanwhile the Koopa Kids and Bowser would stay in the hospital for 999
years. The End? Oops, and Mario also took over Darkland.

Teaching Lemmy: Smash 48, Pikachu, Alex, Mewd, Jon, Lady T.,

One day Bowser was so upset at Lemmy’s grades. On his past five tests
he got a D-, F-, F+, D+, and even an H! So Lemmy was sent to a special
school for idiots. In that school on his first day his teacher said, “Ok,
let's try to get our school work done for the letter A.”

Then, when Lemmy tried to write "A" it turned out to be an "M". The
teacher got really mad at him and made him go to the corner wearing a hat
that read "stupid". Then an hour later he came back from the corner. Next
subject was math, where the problem was 1 + 1. Lemmy wrote "M" again, so
the teacher smashed him over the head with a yardstick. Then he was sent
to the corner for two days and when he came back the subject was Koopaish
and the teacher asked Lemmy to say the letter "A" and he said "M" instead.
The teacher sent him to the corner for ten days, and then smashed him with
a sledgehammer. He got so mad that he froze her with his Freeze Gun and
put her in the corner. He was sent to the Principal's office, where the
Principal was meaner than ever. But then Lemmy froze him, went out the
window, and ran home, but then the school sent FBI agents to go tie him
up and gag him and bring him back.

Fortunately the FBI agents got confused because since their job descriptions
were classified they didn't know what to do. So Lemmy got to the castle
safely, but then Bowser came to the door.

Bowser: Lemmy, you're in big trouble this time!

(Show a close up ofBowser's face) Dun dun dun!

Bowser took away all of Lemmy's possessions, and forced him to watch
Telatubbies! It was torture! And Bowser got Lemmy's new report card that
was nothing but Fs. So he decided to make Ludwig be Lemmy's tutor until
Ludwig decided to use Lemmy as a part of a brain transfer experiment. Ludwig
inserted the brain of Yoshi (which he actually got recently) into Lemmy’s
head and put his brain into Yoshi’s. He is doing this so he could see if
Lemmy would get any smarter, but there was one small problem, the Yoshi
he used was stupider then Lemmy and yet somehow got better grades.

The next day, Lemmy tried to eat Bowser. Lemmy got sent to real jail
for trying to do this. Lemmy ate all the people at the jail, and ate Princess
Toadstool. Then he was sent to Kindergarten for being a good boy in jail
(yeah right) and when he got there the first thing Lemmy did was eat the
teacher, his classmates, the desks, the chairs, and he even tried to eat
the Principal. The Principal took him outside and ran him over with a steamroller.
Lemmy’s new brain came out and then Yoshi saw his old brain and asked Ludwig
to put his regular brain back in his head. Ludwig refused, so Yoshi froze
him. Yoshi crashed into a building, causing Lemmy's brain to fall out and
it went into Ludwig's head, causing him to act like Lemmy!

Meanwhile, Lemmy was eating everything in sight and then ate something
that tasted bad. It was an FBI agent! The FBI agent brought him to a brain
surgeon who replaced his brain with Mario's! Lemmy spent the rest of the
day trying to get someone to kidnap the Princess so he could get a kiss
on the nose. Luigi kidnapped Lemmy because he thought Lemmy was just a
stupid Koopaling and he had no idea that Lemmy had Mario's brain. Luigi
went so crazy when he found out he went to a crazy house. In the house
were the Axem Rangers, the stupid Mushroomer from the episode MushRumors,
Yoshi (Yoshi was in there because no one believed he had the brain of Lemmy)
and a week later, they put Ludwig in the nut house because he playeda round
with brains.

However, Ludwig had already switched around everyone else's brains.
He had switched but his brain was taken out and replaced with a baboon’s
brain. The baboon that now had Ludwig's brain removed the brains of all
the asylum people and made stew. People who ate the stew thought it tasted
nasty and decided to give it back to him. The baboon ate all the stew,
and became five times as smart as Ludwigever was. Lemmy came to save the
day. Lemmy still had Mario's brain so he jumped on the baboon and squashed
the baboon like he was a Goomba.

The Princess came and said, “My hero!” So she kissed Lemmy!

Mario came back with the brain of Ludwig, but what happened to the baboon's
brain? Oh my god, it landed into Alex Trebek! When he was hosting Jeopardy,
the peanut-sized baboon brain got into him and he started going crazy!
The contestants thought he was crazy so they left the show. And so, most
everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom, half the Koopa Clan, and Alex Trebek
went to the nut house, where they all got Fs and Hs on their tests for
all eternity. Oh yeah, and Lemmy was grounded forever for being good! And
also, Alex Trebek said to the Mushroom Kingdom people and the Koopa Clan
in the crazy house, "I'm Alex Trebek! Let's play Jeopardy!"

Allowance Day: Smash 48, Pikachu, Alex, Mewd, Jon, Lady T.,

The day was Saturday, the day that all seven Koopa Kids have been waiting
for. Allowance Day! But they didn't get any. Bowser yelled, “Get lost!”
and sent them to their rooms. Then each of the KoopaKkids planed to get
back at Bowser. They all snuck into Bowser's wallet when he wasn't looking
and took all his money. Then they spent it all on candy, gum, and sugar
snacks and then they got really hyper. Bowser got mad at them so he ate
all the sugar that was left in the kingdom and got really hyper and started
smashing stuff with trashcans and so did the Koopalings.

The Axem Rangers jumped out of the trash cans and tried to hit Bowser,
but Bowser made them drink some ultra sweet sugar pop and they became hyper
and helped smash stuff with trash cans. But then somebody threw a trash
can at Mario and he went insane and forced everyone to take sleeping pills.
But they continued and eventually wrecked the entire castle and continued
into the Mushroom World. Mario decided that looked fun, so he ate all of
Luigi's hidden candy stash. Mario started to go hyper and when Luigi found
out Mario ate his candy, he ate all of Mario's M & M Minis. But M &
M Minis can't be contained and Luigi was flown out of his house and high
into the stratosphere for some one to save. Then Mario joined the Koopas
in a trash can fight, then Peach walked out of the castle and yelled, “Hey!
These M & M minis are searching for a mouth! Eat before they destroy
Luigi!”

No one seemed to care and the M & Ms just dropped Luigi and he fell
about a million feet into Wendy's lap! Then Wendy got posed by a ghost
and she said Luigi was handsome and started kissing him. Luigi screamed
words not fit for print and tried to get away.Wendy saw Susan come in.
She was possessed too. Then Susan thought Luigi was cute too so she grabbed
his arm and Wendy grabbed his other arm and they both pulled and Luigi
said, “Make a wish.” Luigi then got possessed as well. Luigi started kissing
Wendy and Susan.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Everyone went insane and started kissing the
nearest member of the opposite sex.

Two months later, Wendy and Susan gave birth to five baby Koopa/humans.
They named them Spike, Idiot, Mistake, Stupid, and Moron. They all became
plumbers. They all liked to wear cheesy stupid overalls with caps that
had the first letter of their name on them. They all got fired after their
firstday as plumbers because they blew up Town Hall by putting grenades
in the toilet! Well, at least they thought it was funny. They then got
new jobs as chefs at a Chinese food diner but one of them became the mayor
of Los Angeles. (That only proves how weird this story is becoming.) Then
Luigi and Wendy and all the other characters snapped out of it after that
long and Luigi screamed and wet himself. Then Wendy and Susan checked themselves
into a mental hospital. The rest of the Koopalings got 1,000,000 coins.

One day Mario raided the fridge and the Marios were out of food and
were out of money.

Mario: We didn't make one cent off of that dating service

Luigi: And the FBI is after us becuase of the million dollars we took
from the bank to get it started.

Mario and Luigi walk to the Koopa Mart (a food store run by Koopas).
Mario pushed his huge nose against the window and drooled,.then a real
rich guy walked by and mario grabbed him begged for food.

Mario: Please give me money! I haven't eaten for the last three minutes!

Rich Guy: Ahhhhhh!!! A monster. (He sprays Mario with mace.)

Mario: AHHHHHH!!! THE PAIN!!!

Mario was rolling around on the floor screaming while luigi scoped out
a help wanted sigh on the side of the store.

Luigi: lets get a new job.

Mario: Oh? Like what?

Luigi: You like food so much how about we work at the Koopa Mart?.

Cut to Mario and Luigi walking into Lemmy's office with will work for
food signs...

Lemmy: Have you ever really worked before?

mario: No, but I'm hungry.

Lemmy: Will you be our slaves froced to do stupid jobs for small amonts
off food?

Mario: Sure!

Lemmy: You're hired!

Mario was put to work at one of those free sample tables while Luigi
cleaned up any messes that happened. Mario was geting out of control though.

Mario: One for you, sunny.

Mario looked left to right and no one' was looking.

Mario: And one for me.

Mario ate one sample of the meat he was giving out.

Mario: Umm, yummy! One for you.

Mario handed a kid one sample.

Mario: And five for me!

Mario ate five samples. Mario repeated this for a while, increasing
the amont of meat he tossed into that huge hole mario calls a mouth. Meanwhile
Luigi was scooping waste of the floor.

Luigi: Stupid kids...

Roy smashed through the door and started to scream "work faster!" Meanwhile,
Mario had eaten all the meat, cereal, and pastries. Then suddenly Lemmy
walked in to check on how everyone was doing. Luigi was odediently cleaning
up, even though he would of pounced on lemmy if he had the chance.

Lemmy: Good work, Luigi!

Then Lemmy went to check on Mario.

Lemmy: Hey Mario, how are the free samples coming?

But then Lemmy realized mario had eaten almost everything in the store.

Mario: Burp! Oh hi *hic* Lemmy. How ya doin?

Lemmy: GRRRRRR.......

Lemmy was redder than the tomatoes that Mario had devoured ten seconds
ago.

Lemmy:YOU'RE FIRED!!! GET OUT!!!

Mario: But...what did I do?

Lemmy then collasped on the floor because mario was such an idiot. Lemmy
got up and started chasing Mario with a pitchfork.

Mario: Ha ha, you can't catch me without your ball!

Then Mario runs into the back of the store where they kept flamable
childern's sleepware.

Lemmy: You're fired Mario!

Then the childers sleepware caught on fire for no reason.

Lemmy: Uh-oh. Fire! Fire! Help! Someone save me! I hate fire!

Mario: Woo-hoo! A fire! Just what i needed!

Mario pulled a bag of marshmellows out of his pocket that he had snuck
from aisle four. He also grabbed skewers that he grabbed from aisle two.Lemmy
suddenly fainted when luigi came in, and he grabbed the marshmellows and
ran off. Mario ran after him but Luigi runs super fast..Then Roy came out
of the meat aisle with bbq sauce on his face and then he tripped Luigi
and grabbed the marshmellows.

Roy: HA HA HA HA!!!SO LONG,SUCKERS!

Then Roy punched Luigi in the face. Luigi started crying and wet himself.
But Mario kept chasing him. Somehow Lemmy made it out of the flames and
started chasing after them too.He stepped on Mario, squishing him, and
pinned Roy. He then quickly took the marshmellows when suddenly the flames
spread! All the flames started spreading everywhere.

Lemmy: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY STORE!!!

Then Mario grabbed a phone and yelled.

Mario: What is the number for 911?

Luigi just slapped himself on the face. Roy grumbled, but Lemmy startedshouting.

Lemmy: You IDIOT!!! THE NUMBER FOR 911 IS 911!!!

Mario: Oh... how do you spell it?

Lemmy then fainted because Mario was so stupid. Mario pushed 1 800 collect
and yelled.

Mario: Get me 911!

Guy: Hello, if you're calling to the police, push 1, if you're calling
to enter the contest push 2!

An hour later the store was completely on fire everywhere and Mario
was still on the phone.

Guy: If you have a problem and need help push 4123.

Mario pushed it.but then the phone wire caught on fire and he got disconnected.
Then Mario started to cry, and Luigi wet himself. Lemmy started burning
up, and Roy was sufficating. Just then Morton walked in.

Morton: Ah, what wonderful heat. Hi Lemmy, Roy, Mario, Luigi, how come
there is food all over the place? Oh well, I will just enjoy this-

Suddenly Morton screamed bloody murder and then the fish burst into
flames!

Morton: that's better.

Then morton caught on fire.

Morton: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! THE PAIN!!!

Morton dropped to the floor and tried to stop drop and roll but that
set the floor on fire. Morton was consumed by the flames. Morton was nothing
but a pile of ashes. Suddenly Ludwig walked in.

Ludwig:HA HA HA! Now with my siblings burning up, I can take over all
their lands!HA HA!

Suddenly a warp pipe popped out of nowhere and some of the flames jump
intp it.

Ludwig: Ummmm... where did that warp pipe lead to?

Lemmy: Cough....Pipe Land...

Ludwig: Oh... PIPE LAND!? ACK!!! THATS MY LAND!!! But all my pipes are
made of rubber (got them from a Rubber Maid catalog).

THEY ALL MELTED!

Mario: Oh, I don't think I should of had those ten cases of beans.

Luigi: MARIO, DON'T BLOW!!! It's flamable! And whe'll all explode!

Mario: I was just kidding.

Then a gas truck full of gas pulled up next to the Koopa Mart.

ALL: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Lemmy ran lickity-split out of the store to the gas truck.

Lemmy: Drive away! Go someplace else! Shoo! Beat it! Scram!

Driver:Grrrr... no one tells me to go away when I don't feel like it!

Then the driver grabbed Lemmy and tossed him into the store.Then the
driver got out of his truck and walked across the street to a gas station
on the other side.Then some of the fire started heading towards the truck.

All but Mario: WE'RE DOOOOOOOMED!!! DOOOMED I TELL YA!!!DOOOMED!!!

Mario: What aisle is the pasta in?

All but Mario:Uggg...

Then a fire truck pulled up outside and a fire fighter walked into the
store.

Fire Fighter: Hi,would you like to support your local fire staion?

Lemmy: No, I would NOT like to support your stupid fire station!
Can't you seethere is a fire here?! We need fire fight- oh, you are fire
fighters... hehe...

Then Lemmy got on his hands and knees and starts groveling at the fireman's
feet.

Lemmy: PLEEEEEESE PUT THE FIRE OUT!!! FORGET WHAT I SAID ABOUT NOT SUPPORTING
YOU!!! JUST PLEEESE PUT IT OUT!!!

Fireman: No way jose! If you're not gonna support us then we're not
putting out the fire!

Then the fireman left.

Lemmy:NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

MY STORE IS RUINED... NOTHING IS GONNA HELP US NOW!!! WE'D NEED A MIRACLE
IF WE WE'RE TO SAVE MY STORE!!! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Everyone stared at Lemmy and started snickering.

Lemmy:What are you *sniff* looking at?

Mario grabbed a jar of miracle whip and handed it to lemmy.

Lemmy: NO, NOT MIRACLE WHIP, A MIRACLE!!!

Mario dropped the jar and it broke open and it got all over the floor
and somehow hardened!

Mario: Oops.

Luigi: Can't move feet ,must get out of store!

All of the miracle whip got on the Koopa Kids' feet and Luigi's shoes
and they were stuck to the floor.

Mario: How about I do a rain dance?

Lemmy: WE'RE DOOMED!!! DOOMED I TELL YA!!! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!

Roy: Hey Mario, why don't you eat all this miracle whip?

Mario:Well... ok.

Mario licked it and then jumped...er tried to jump back.

Mario: Yuck!

All:Now what?

Lemmy: Hey Mario, you're wearing shoes! why don't you undo them and
then grab something to get us outta here?!

Mario undid his shoes and walked around the store.

Lemmy: Mario,get some water!

Mario:Ok.

Mario came back with some fire logs from aisle 12 and dumped them on
the fire.

Mario: Happy now?

Lemmy: NO YOU IDIOT!!! I SAID WATER, NOT HOTTER!!! YOU SHOULD BE IN
KINDERGARTEN!!!

Mario:Ok.

Mario walked off to the nearest school house and sat in a desk in the
Kindergarten class.

Lemmy: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY!!!

Mario came back with one of those hats that read idiot.

Mario: I flunked when they asked how to make an "A".

Luigi: HOW?

Mario: I made an "M"

Luigi: Get us something to put this fire out!

LEMMY: There is a fire stopper thing over there!

Mario grabbed it and threw it on the ground and it blew up, making
the fire bigger.

Mario: THERE!

Roy: YOU'RE SO STUPID!

Mario puts the hat that said stupid back on his head and giggled.

Lemmy: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! WAAAAHHHHH!!!

Luigi: Calm down, Lemmy. We'll think of something.

Lmmy:WAIT! I KNOW! MARIO! GO TO THE BACK ROOM OF THE STORE! THERE IS
A WATERTANK AND A FIRE HOSE THERE! GIVE ME IT!!!

Mario:Okie dokie

Lemmy: I wonder if that was a good idea...

A few miutes later, Mario came back holding the hose.

Lemmy: FINALLY,YOU DID SOMETHING RIGHT MARIO! NOW LEMME HAVE IT!

Mario:You want it?

Lemmy:YES!!!

Mario:Okie dokie.

Mario turned on the hose and squirted lemmy full of water.

Lemmy:YOU *blub...glug...* IDIOT!!! I WANTED YOU TO HAND ME THE HOSE,
NOT SQUIRT ME!

Mario: But you said you wanted it.

Lemmy: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY!!! JUST HAND ME THE HOSE!

Mario handed Lemmy the hose but when Lemmy turned it on the spare water
pack was empty. Then he started moaning like Woody in Toy Story when the
match to light the rocket went out.

Lemmy:NO NO!! OHHH NOOOOOOOO!!! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
NOW 'CAUSE MARIO IS TOO STUPID TO SPELL HIS OWN NAME!!!

Mario was at a white board in the store with a marker in his hand.

Mario:I can spell my name...Watch..

5 minutes later...

Mario: Ummm... what's the number for 'Z'?

Lemmy: Uggg...

Lemmy slapped himself across his face, then mario went out of the store
and came back with some gas. Then the gas caught on Mario and he ran around
the store screaming words not fit for print. Then a miracle happened! Mario
ran into the bathroom and turned the faucit on and put a bunch of tolit
paper in the potty and it backed up and water started to go everywhere.
But Mario was too stupid to open the door and let the water out.

Mario: Hey, this swimming stuff is fun. Maybe I should go get Lemmy
and Roy and whatever my brother's name was to come swim too. Oh yeah, they
don't wanna move. They keep calling me an idiot, but what is an idiot anyway?

Lemmy: Mario,where are you?

Mario: I'm swimming...

Lemmy: SWIMMING?! IN WHAT?!

Mario: This blue splashy stuff...

Lemmy: MARIO! THAT'S WATER! OPEN THE DOOR!

Mario: Ok, but first...

Mario then took a nearby mop and a plunger. Mario unclogged the toilets,
turned off the sinks, and put all the water back with the mop. THEN he
opened the door.

Lemmy: WHERE'S ALL THE WATER? SHOULDN'T WATER BE GUSHING OUT OF THE
BATHROOM?!

Mario:Not today, I cleaned it up so the store wouldn't get all wet.
Lemmy: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Then mario remembered that he was to stupid to know how to turn off
a faucit but somehow he did. Then all of a sudden it started to rain outside.

Lemmy: WE'RE SAVED!

Then it stopped after two seconds.

Lemmy: WE'RE DOOMED!

Then mario went outside and brought back the video game Doom.

Lemmy: HOT!

Mario somehow got the drift that you had to put liquid on fire, so he
left and came back with ten gallons of gasoline, then every thing exploded,
throwing each one of the characters in a diferent direction. Mario landed
in a bakery which he next day blew up. Luigi landed on a beach with lots
of cute girls, lemmy landed in the ocean and was eaten by a big fish and
prayed for a year and the wale threw him up. Roy landed in jail, nuff said.
And everyone was happy besides the Koopas..

The setting is many years before Ginko, Sandslash, Mewd, or anyone else
for that matter. Right before Bowser had begun taking over the Mushroom
Kingdom for the first time.The Mushrooms around started to grow fungus.
Then the planet exploded. Only Kamek was floating around. "Uhhhh." Then
Kamek then took all the floating fungus and took it to a new world. "Hahaha,
they will never figure out this is Uranus. They will thinks its Plit. HAHAHA!"

Then evolution kicked in and the Mushrooms grew fat arms and legs and
after a billion years they learned how to make fire but they started a
huge fire and threw a few hundred wheels into the fire and then boom! "I
told you not to put gas in the fire!" yelled Toad the First.

"Ummm... throwing gas at fire is bad?" asked Rod.

After two more days they had flying cars and hovering buildings.Business
and economics rose and the stocks were going crazy. Toad the First went
to the stocks in his business suit. "6 on 18-G! Just gimme gimme gimme!"

Then the year 10 rolled around and the Y10K bug destoryed everything
using a computer and everything became (the next day) like what the Mushroom
Kingdom is now. "It's all your fault Rod!" Toad screamed.

"Shut up!" snapped Rod.

"You made the Y10K bug!" Toad continued.

Rod smiled. "Yeah, neat, isn't it?" (Rod is a Mushroomer that was Toad's
best freind at one time)

The next day flying cars and hovering buildings were back up. In his
lab, Toad found the cure for every diesase. Then Rod came into the room
and started throwing the jars of explosive chemicals at Toad. Everything
blew up and then the next day everything was back. Toad made the cures
again but Rod stole them and selled them. He called them "Root beer". Later
that year Rod found a tablet made the previous week about an evil force
so powerfull that all would be chaos. Rod smiled and went looking for the
creature. The next day the air was black and the air was filled with smoke
from the businesses. Every animal was dead and the population kept decreasing.Then
things got worse. Rod found a lost temple (made three days ago). Rod opened
the door and inside was the giant monster... it was...Bowser! That's right
folks, Rod had unleashed that terrible force that spelled doom for every
Mushroomer. Bowser buried Rod deep in the tomb and destroyed the medicines.
He then spread the viruses that had been killed b ythe medicine, and many
Mushroomers turned into Goombas. It looked like doom. Just when all the
Mushroomers thought they had met their match, something strange happend.
A few lizards and other reptiles, such as dinosaurs, evolved into Yoshis!
At first the Mushroomers were scared, but they found out they could be
helpful. Since they had long tounges, they could quickly lap up the Goombas.
But they couldnt do this forever. The Mushroomers thought they were again
doomed when they found a book that told them hope was in the non-lost temple.
They went there and saw a whip with ancient writing above it.

"When a problem comes along, you must whip. Whip it good."

They picked it up and the temple started to fall apart and trolls ran
by with guns.

"This is weird," Peach noted.

Then a huge stone fell on the trolls.Anyway, they left and bought some
magical beans. They planted them and out sprouted the Marios! But Mario
and Luigi were still babies. The Mushroomers would need to protect them
until they were old enough to be of help. They sent the babies by stork
to two wise Mushroomers who were to be foster parents. But on the way a
Kamek was going by. Suddenly a flying DeLorean flew by and hit Kamek. "Marty!
Do you knew what you've done! You may have wrecked the future!" screamed
Kamek,

Then the DeLorean sped of and smashed into a tree and exploded. Anyway,
the stork got to the house and tried to squeeze all three babies though
the door but one's head exploded. "Uh oh, there goes Mark Mario. And he
was the strongest of the three!"

Mario cried because he was hungry, and because there was too much attention
going to his dead brother. When no one came, he started to eat anything
he could find, like bread and cheese and cyannide. Mario was never sane
again. Then Luigi mixed drugs with Vinager and drank it.and he got horrible
gas. Then he gave some to Mario. Because it would take forever to write
all that occured when they were kids we're just going to skip all the way
too when there older. Mario and Luigi were now super heroes. Their job
today was to explore a new cave. They went inside and Kamek came out. "I
am the monster, from Uranus!"

"Does that mean you have horrable gas like us?" asked Mario.

Luigi asked, "And how can you be from our-"

"Oh, shut up!" snapped Kamek. "I'll put a whoping big curse on you that
will ummmm...."

Later that day...

"I know, I'll... oh crud! I forgot."

Later Kamak remembeed his curse and it was to turn them into Bowsers.
So the Mario Brothers fused into one Bowser. Meanwhile with Bowser, Bowser
turned into the Mario Brothers. This made Bowser have extreme gas. But
Mario and Luigi still had to do there duty even if they looked like a geeky
lizard. Bowser now had double the power and was using power ups to wreak
the town. The Mario Brothers went to a party and got drunk and somehow
get under the influence that evil was good and started to act like the
last Bowser. This made Bowser good and good became evil and vice versa
and if you don't under stand go back to playing with wooden blocks or something.
Now the new Super Marios went to save the day but when they got to the
cave Luigi and Mario suddenly fell in love with a bypassing poor women.
"I'll shine your shoes for food!" Mario kissed her and she started to spit.

"Now you'll have to pay the 4235252345235235.44 fine for tonching me!"
shrieked the girl.

Later, in a court room, Mario was convicted of kissing her and was sent
to jail. Mario pointed at Luigi."What about him?!"

Luigi was making out with Princess Toadstool. Luigi got up and was wearing
a king's crown. "I'm geting married to her, so there!" laughed Luigi, while
he stuck out his tounge.

"This isn't fair, call me a lawyer!" whined Mario.

"Ok, you'[re a lawer!" grinned Luigi.

Mario looked confused. "Thank you, errr, I mean, get me a lawyer!"

"Get one yourself!" snapped Luigi.

"No, you get it!" insisted Mario.

Mario was sent to jail for talking back to the king. Mario got fed up
with jail life after the first three seconds and smashed the stone wall
down and ran out. He ran around outside for a while until he tripped on
a rock and smashed into a huge stone block with a ? on it.and out came
a Mushroom. It started moving away from Mario and Mario licked his lips
and ran after it. After two hours of running after it, it went into
a huge cave filled with Yoshie eggs. Mario smiled. "Goodie, lunch!" Mario
got a pan out and started cooking a Yoshi egg but when he cracked it a
Yoshi popped out and beat Mario up. Evolution stinks!" Mario shouted.

A little Yoshi came up to Mario and said, "Please refrain from unnecessary
hysteria, it shall break my eardrums."

"Wow! Yoshis have evolved!" Luigi stared with glee.Then they found a
cave of Yoshis and Mario tried to eat them but Luigi got a hammer out and
knocked Mario out cold. "We got to get these eggs to Toad!" decided Luigi.

"After I eat them," said Mario.

Luigi hit Mario again. "How are we going to get them to Toad?" Luigi
pondered.

"I suggest that you make a back starp that connects to a large wheeled
vehicle and go back and get some adult Yoshis to help pull," The littleYoshi
they had met earlier suggested.

Mario began to work on it but he was too stupid and it ended up being
a rock with a leaf on top of it. Then the little Yoshi sent Mario to Kindgarten
but he flunked and came back. Then the little Yoshi made the wagon. Mario
was too stupid to know what to do with it so he smashed it up against the
side of his head and he conked out. Suddenly Luigi came back with the adult
Yoshis and he was having an intellegent conversation with them. Mario got
mad and went to sleep. Luigi then went back to the kingdom with the yoshis.
Yeah! There was a revolution in the Mushroom Kingdom, and they elected
GASP! Bowser! and somehow bowser was a nice guy and was the first politician
to be honest and keep his word, but Mario and Luigi came with a heard of
Yoshis and attacked Bowser. Mario thought Bowser was pasta, so he tried
to eat him, but Yoshi ate him first and everyone got mad and a bunch of
the men ran after the Marios and Yoshis with axes, shovels, and pitc forks.
"What'd we do?" asked Mario.

Everyone hated the Marios from then on in and made stupid stories like
this one. And that's how they saved the kingdom. The end.

TMS slammed the book shut and yelled "Go to bed now"! Then a kid said
"no" and TMS threw the book at him. Then they went to bed.

Luigi and Mario decided to open a dating service because the plumbing
business was in bad condition. "This had beter pull some cash in, Mario,
or you'll be eating my fist in a second!" threatened Luigi.

"Luigi, trust me," Mario assured his brother. "The first three couples
who walked in that door got a free cruise to an island of some kind. Then
sales will boom!"

"Are you sure?" Luigi asked.

"No, but the bank won't miss the 5000 dollars we took to get this place
started," Mario answered.

Then a couple walked in the door and it was Toad. "Hey! I want a blind
date! !%#!ers!"

"Hey-a! Shut the !%#-a up! Fine! Wait! With who?"

"What! Anyone! No fat chicks!"

Mario took Toad to three doors. "You get a date by picking some one
behind one of these doors."

Mario smiled. "Congratz, you and your date have won a trip to some island
aboard the S.S Mario Bucket!"

"*****!" Toad shrieked.

Luigi contined. "You will be locked in a room with your date for a day
and then let loose on the island for a day. Then you'll come back with
no money."

"I thought it was free!" screamed Toad.

mario: it is but the island is full of cut trought pierates!mario and
luigi grab toad and the mule and push them threw a trash shot thatleads
to the s.s. mario bucket.luigi: NEXT!the next person to walk in the door
was...Axem Red. "I WANTA DATE!""Okay!"Luigi took Axem Red to 3 colored
doors."Red, BLue, or Yellow!""I want Red!"behide it was axem pink!red:
what the heck are you doin here!pink: what the heck are you doing here!red:
I wanted a date!pink: I wanted a date!red: stop repeating every thing I
say!pink: stop repeating every thing I say!they turn away from each other
and luigi and mario pick them both up andtosses them down the shot.pink:
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OH NO MY MAKE UP, I lEFT MY MAKE UP! WE HAVE TOTURN
BACK!RED: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!mean whist toad landed in a bucket (literly!)and
he was floating off in a bucket with a donkey!toad: this is a buch of ******!donkey:
HE HA!toad grabs the donkey by the neck and starts chokeing it. All the
7koopalings wanted a double double +1 date.luigi screamed and (try to guess)him
self.mario whispers to luigi: we don't have that many girls!luigi: well
we have four more and a monkey will that be enoth.mario: I think wed need
two more.luigi: how about ou and me date them?mario hits luigi then mario
starts kickig him in the groin and then a fistfight brakes out.Get a FREE
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directoriesLemmy's Camp Fire TalesKoopaWednesday, 28-Jul-1999 16:59:5924.4.54.57
writes:They stop and send the 7 koopa kids to 7 doors. Larry opened the
first one.Aroara!(MEANWHILE AT TMS's, SANDASLASH AND TMS ARE WATCHING THIS
ON A TV SHOW)Sandslash spits out his drank all over the TV set."HEY!"(BACK
IN HE DATING PLACE)ludwig opens his door and it was monkey.ludwig: what
the ****! the monkey jumps on ludwig and he falls down.mean while sand
slash threw TMS's TV out the window and was on his way tothe dateing place.on
the way sand slash see's a long line in front of the shop.Wendy opened
her door to find a mirror. Morton found Star Koopa(AT MEWDS)"What the @#%$!"(BACK
AT THE SHOP) Iggy opened his and Lemmy was on the other side. mewd gets
so angry that he starts tareing apart the TV then heads to the dateing
shop and see's sandslash in line.mewd: mind if I have cuts?sand slash looks
at his angryly and kicks him. back in the shop.lemmy: you sick-iggey: osRoy:
opened his and it was...an old box of rustt nails!Now the Mario brothers
told them all were theirgoing (There going together)mario: your going to...
the sewer system!yes you'll be thrown in to a world covered in sewege for
a two night stay!just then sand slash and mewd got to the end of the line
( they kick somebut to get there).But it was too late, tey alreadyleft.(BACK
WITH TOAD)"NO! MY !#%$!ING COINS! IDIOT SEVANTS!"The pirates looked back
and started walking toawrds toad. back with the axemdate.red: now you'th
done it! you 'th really done it!'pink: what? red: were lost a sea!pink:
oh that.red: do you know what this means?pink: we have to make out?red
looks at pink and yells at her for saying that.red: this is pose to be
g rated!pink: so?back at the shop.mewd: you what?!sand slash: you mean
to tell us that you flushed them down the tolit?mario: well yes.luigi:
they got the free trip to the sewer.mewd: how could you fit roy in it?mario:
we have a REALLY BIG TOLIT!then...Sando and Mewd decided to get blind dates
for a double date. Mewd went tohis door it opened and out popped a hot
female mewd. Suddenly the ratingchanged to PG. Then out of Sandslashes
door popped a really hot girl with ashirt that so big her shirt sleeves
go past her hands. Suddenly the rating changes to PG-13.mewd wasn't to
sure about this.back one the island toad wads rideing the donkey trying
to get away from thepirates.toad: **** you pirates! toad rides the donkey
into a near by cave where there was a makeout bed. "YES!"Back witht he
koopa kids, Iggy and Lemmy were Smooching. Ludwig was tryingto keep the
monkey from throwing things in the seqwage. Wendy had troublewith the mirror.
Aroara tried to have fiun with Larry. Morton was smoocjingwith Star Koopa.
And Roy was..takeing a pit stop.Roy: much better.back at the axem party
pink was trying to get red to kidd her but she had noluck.mean while back
at the shop...Luigi accidentally let the computer set on ffire.Mario was
tellign Sando and emwd were they were going. They get to go to anamusement
park! mewd started to wounder.mewd thinking to him self: it's not posple
I tell you Im sopose to be theonly mewd.mewd out loud: I don't feel right
about this. just then mario picked up the hole lot of them and put them
in a cannon.mewd: wait I have to talk to st.... just then mario fires the
cannon andthey fly off. back in the swear...Iggy and Lemmy were smooching
big time, Wendy started hugging the mirror,Ludwig hugged the monkey, Morton
was really smooching Star Koopa, and Larrywas talking to Aroara. And Roy
was..playing with the box of blots and nails.Roy: ahhhh I cut my **** fingure!Larry:
wach it were still trying to keep it under G.Roy: to late for that!mean
whist mewd flet a desterpice.MEWD: what the!hope I don't get sew for this.he
flet a diterpice in the froce.MEWD: HE's KISSING HER!mean whist on the
island...Toad had escaped the islan on a donkey.toad: swim you *****ing
donkey swim!mean whist back with the axem's...Axem Pink is trying to kiss
Axem Red. Axem Red punchs Axem Puink in the face. "YOu Little !%$#!" Axem
pink kicks Axem Red in the groin.mean whist. mewd: sorry got to split.mewd
chags crouse and flys back to the shop.the other mewd has a evil look and
flys back to.then...Sando decides to go back. meanwhiel with The Koopalings...
just then is theseawer mewd crashs threw the top of the man hole!mewd:
st....just then a sleeping drat hits mewd in the back of the head and mewd
fallsalseap.the hot girl mewd had a blow dart gun in her hand.girl mewD:
time to lose digise digise!she rips the degise off and revele that it's
mega mew!mega mew: he he!Meanwhile, the MArio Bros. couldnt put out the
fire and their dating serviceburned downluigi: it's all your falut mario!
mario: how so?luigi: your the one who said to start a fire near a gas stion.
mario: did not.luigi: did so!mario: not!luigi: so!a hour laterboth: not
so not so not so not so not so.a fist fight begens then they start kicking
each other then throw trash cansat each other. Mario kicks Luig and Luigi
kicks Mario in the groin at thesame time.they both fall down then the bank
owner comes by with the f.b.i.bank owner guy: there they are the hoodlems
that took all the banks money!F.B.I. agent: come with me. nothing to see
here floks these two will be seenin cort on juge judy tomarow.don't miss
it!he drags the brothers off. Meanwhiel with the Koopa Kids, Sta Koopa
was really kissing with Morton.Aroara hugged Larry, Roy tried to kiss the
naiils, Wendystarted kissing themirror. And Iggy and Lemmy were getting
some intense kissing action. (sandslahs wrote that last line)mega mew drags
mewd's corcise out of the seawer and no one cares.mewd gains enoth power
to say one word.mewd: star koop....mega mew take mew out and starts beeting
him with a a dog that was standingnear by.whack ,arp! whack, arp! star
koopa: stop hurting that poor dog!mega mew: ok.he picks up a cat and use's
it to hit mewd with.then...Iggy And Lemmy keep kissing. mega Mewd sees
them. "SICK!" Mega Mewdexploded.mewd gets up barely able to move and still
week from the sleep dart.mega mewhad exploded (Some how) but mewd knew
he'd see him again.mewd: star koopa!mean whist.mario: your oner we haven't
done any thing wrong!judy: I'll be the juge of that first witnes!toad walks
threw the door on crochs.luig *****!mario: ****!toad ah **** you both!judy:
this is a G rated story no swearing!judy: that's IT THE THREE OF ONE GO
TO JAIL FOR FIVE YEARS OR TILL YOU ALLGET OFF SWEARING!toad: were ******!judy:
5 then!mario: d****!judy: SIX TAKE THEM AWAY!LUIGI: WOW SHE CAN COUNT!toad:
punchs luigi and they get draged off.back with mewd and star koopa...Mewd
was so mad at star koopa he was punching her in the face and throughingher
at the walls. HE kepot doing this until her face was bloody and ahe wasscreaming.then
mewd stoped when she screamed then star koopa got up and walked over tomewd
and...cried. Mewd started hitting her again.Meanwhile Toad had escaped
and ran off.Meanwhile Axem Red had gagged Axem Pink and threw her away
and escaped.mean whist mewd stops again and star koopa gets up again walks
up to mewdthey smacks him with tat cat!Morton: Wedding cake!the word wedding
poped into star koopa's head.mewd said sorry then star koopaTMS was sueing
the Mario Bros. because the money they had stolen was hislife savings,
that and he owned stock in the bank."YOU IDIOTS! YOU STOLE MY MONEY! I'M
GONNA GET YOU! I'M GONNA SUE, YOU HEARME, SUE!" TMS was being held back
by his lawyer while yelling at the MarioBros., who are in stripes.(A Week
Later)Mewd and Star Koopa are STILL appologizing to each other!Morton was
hospitalized.TMS got his money back and more because he DID sue the Mario
Bros. With themoney he opened a collage shop.Sandslash forgave Aroara,
and they lived happily ever after, until.....And Lemmy and Iggy got married
and went on a honeymoon (sand slash again).Only thing left was MEwd and
Star Koopa, and the Axem Rangers, because Pinkcaught up with Red.then star
koopa and mewd.... started kissing on he floor."Morals Shmorals baby!"every
one went hom expect ludwig ( he liks the monkey) but what about themario's?mario
luigi and toad were in a cell in jail.then a pyshco thrapis guy comes in
and tries to help them stop thereswearing.toad: oh yeah?toad jumps on him
and puts his head in the toylit and starts flushing him.Mario: shouldn't
we do some thing?Luigi: ***** no this is enertanment. Luigi grbas an orb
from under thechair. "Hey, this orb is gonna explode and destroy the earth
in 1 second.toad takes it and jams it down marios mouth and then it goes
boom but instedof explodeing it gave mario some major gas.Luigi: great(cogh)
all (cogh) we (cogh) need ( cogh) now is (cogh) a mach.back with the others
the koopa lings took over the dateing servis axem redand pink were found
50 days later on the island of doom and mewd star koopawere at some place
that no one has ever herd of and sand slash went back to the carnavil.back
with the mario's...Luigi lights a mtach.then the bigest exploseion ever
on the planet plit.the mario's and toad are thrown miles away. mean while.some
how every main charter of this story were all in the same place (acoffie
shop) ( I hate coffie!) and the marios and toad land on the shop.They all
have some coffee and discus about the story. "Hey! I get the last word!"
Toad said."#!@$#!"