Hell of a Day

Your dog does not have to shit in the middle of the sidewalk. I teach my dog lots of things and one of them is to eat your face. Nothing pisses me off more than some asshole with a tattoo of an anus on his forehead who tries to guilt me for change while I'm eating. I'll give you a $1 if you cover yourself up with this garbage bag and sit on that corner around 5a tomorrow morning. Yeah, I get it, the economy sucks, but the reason you can't get a job is because you smell like regret and continue to make bad decisions. Stop trying to be different, you look like a sociopath. Stop saying, "I'm from Portland, which is pretty rare these days." You know what's original and rare these days? Native fucking Americans who want to shit on your grand daddy's grave. You were conceived in the back of a Denny's in Gresham, it's not the same as Portland.