Let me be the first to congratulate Hack for continuing to "outdo" himself. Yup, his apparent goal is to compete with the stupidity of previous tracts on evolution. And of course he succeeded. This makes his first attempt at making non-monkeys out of us ("Big Daddy") look like a technical journal in comparison, even before the rewrites!

And, isn't it ironic how "Big Daddy" went through two more editions to look less silly even to hard-core fundies? (And I'll soon provide a link to that.)

There's wayyy too much to comment on right away (again!) but let's just look at the panel with Spike in it. That's Page 8, Panel B. How SILLLLY that people actually believe stuff without a second thought just because it's WRITTEN DOWN IN BOOKS!

Of course, JTC means books other than the Bible.

* * *

The monkey who was our father seemed happy to lose his tail. I wonder whether the first snake was as happy to lose his limbs. But, more seriously: How can anybody believe it would be godly-good or even make sense for all descendants to also be limbless, just because "Satan" (nowhere mentioned in Genesis) decided to possess one (according to JTC and others like him)?

And isn't it a bit scary how young kids can be to be sent into fire-for-eternity just for the "wrong" choice of fairy-tales?

(Although Hack has hinted at this before in several tracts, including the Susie-starring ones, and a few much earlier ones.)

This one is a real return to form for Mr Chick. a lot of his recent offerings have been pretty lacklustre, but this one is really bubbly and stupid. Nearly a 1:1 ratio of lies, strawmen and other assorted fallacies per panel.

I love, love, love the cover of Darwin's "Evolution" with a spear-wielding caveman fighting a Tyrannosaurus.

Tyler also makes a pretty impressive leap toward Nazi ideology. I will say, however, that his initial reaction when Kathy comes skipping up to him to tell him about Jesus is hilarious and pretty much what my reaction would be if I were him.

I love that Tyler has never heard of Jesus, but as soon as someone tells him about Jesus, he knows exactly why we ban Jesus in schools.

I absolutely cracked up at that panel of Death claiming Tyler. "Hi there."

For me, it's the little details...the cat trying to get to the bowl in panel 4, and also the newspaper that says "truth". The pollywog in panel 6 saying "Wheeeeee!", the really pensive fish in panel 7, the confused hairy frog in panel 9, later, the bird about to eat the anxious worm, the cow, the angel pitching him into hell.

How SILLLLY that people actually believe stuff without a second thought just because it's WRITTEN DOWN IN BOOKS!

Of course, JTC means books other than the Bible.

According to Chick tracts, the only other reliable books besides the Bible are those published by Chick Publications.

I must agree that Chick is back to his old self in this tract. The Grim Reaper saying "Hi there" is as amusing as any classic Chick moment. Plus, the title reminds me of The Jeffersons.

It's interesting that this tract comes out around the same time as the film Expelled, as both of them (from what I've heard about the film, which I haven't seen) have some of the same ideas- that "Darwinism" is a sort of religion ("Our religion is called evolution") and that eugenics and Nazi racism is an offshoot of evolutionary theory (Tyler is referred to as believing himself to be part of a blue-eyed, blond-haired "master race," obviously a reference to Nazi beliefs).

In fact, if you use Chick Logic™ (which is the opposite of real logic, of course), I've come up with an idea that could be used for a future tract. According to Chick Logic™ (also Ben Stein Logic™), the Nazis were inspired by Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest that they were better than anyone else. According to Chick Logic™, the Gestapo was run by the Jesuits, helping the Catholic Hitler to eradicate all non-Catholics in order to help the Church in their quest to destroy all non-Catholics and take over the world. And, as the most famous tenet of Chick Logic™ states, Satan invented the Catholic Church as a bastardization of Christianity as part of his quest to take over the world. In 1996, Pope John Paul II stated that the theory of evolution does not in any way contradict the teachings of the Catholic Church: a body may change, but the soul, created by God, remains the same. And what is not transubstantiation if not evolution- simple bread and wine transforms, or evolves, into the supposed body and blood of Jesus Christ! Thus, more evidence that the Catholic Church is not the true church and that Evolution is a Satanic plot! Gee, Chick Logic™ is so easy to come up with.

When Death said "Hi there," I completely lost it. Sprayed Coke Zero all over the freaking monitor. Tyler's eyes were hilarious as well. It also kinda looks like the Darwin fighting the T-Rex might be related to the guy with the spear standing in front of the cross stabbing at Jesus. Perfect!

Easily my favorite part. The implication that the King James Version is the only real version of the Bible is just too funny.

Believe it or not, one issue of Chick's Crusader Comics is all about that -- the KJV is the only True-Word-of-God translation and all others are corruptions inspired by the Gnostic "Alexandria Cult" (and by Satan, of course, who is shown as standing at translators' shoulders).

Personally, I think Chick is a demon-posessed shill whom Satan is using to make the very idea of Satan look ridiculous.

I love Tyler's little leap of logic into eugenics. "My hair is blond and I have blue eyes, so...I'm above all others! I'm part of the master race!" What part of your mom's hilariously stupid explanation of evolution did you get that from, you little fascist?

When Death said "Hi there," I completely lost it. Sprayed Coke Zero all over the freaking monitor.

First, to pretty much everybody who responded:

I don't know whether I have already made this clear in previous Chick rants, but here goes:

I fully appreciate the kind of fannish enthusiasm felt for some of his "better" productions. There's definitely a kind of guilty pleasure that some of the tracts give me.

Heck, I may someday even develop a site for Chick pubs, similar to Kurt's site (I promised a link soon) but with a less friendly spirit.

There's a whole paradoxical feel to it, which reminds me of one of the few bits of dialog from "The Life of Riley." It concerns a rather spooky single male neighbor named Waldo, played by Sterling Holloway, who was one of the regular cast.

Once someone expressed concern to Riley about Waldo's appearance, re health. He blandly dismissed this, by observing that the healthier he actually is, the sicker he looks.

* * *

Ah, to be new at all this. There was actually a fairly early tract, early 1970's in spite of the 2002 revision cover date, that is actually titled "Hi There!"

Not only does it include perhaps the first expression of the phrase (unless "This was your Life", one of the very earliest has the death angel saying it) but I think that the peanut butter sandwich metaphor, plus some of the other quirks will send you back in hysterics. Best put away that Coke Zero and any other "sprayable" or "chokable" food items.

My favorite is the other family pet besides the cat. WTF is that!? It looks like a cross between a crocodile, and aardvark, and a giant anteater. And why does it first appear as a picture on the wall?

I'm certain Jack must have done a shitload of acid when he was younger.

Nah, nobody who's done a bunch of acid could be as unhip as Chick. After all, doing acid teaches you that science is really cool and offers you things like better living through chemistry. Religion just offers you a bunch of uptight people.

I had actually stopped paying attention to new Chick tracts because the quality (okay hilarity) seemed to have taken a severe nosedive in recent years. This one, however, was a true return to form. The picture of the vampire bat/dog/whatever thing on the 7th page is a nice touch.

Quote:

Originally Posted by True Blue Jack

Ah, to be new at all this. There was actually a fairly early tract, early 1970's in spite of the 2002 revision cover date, that is actually titled "Hi There!"

Sure, but here Death says it as part of a longer intro..."Hi there...we have an appointment to make, Charlie Connors." Which in my mind sounds like it's being said in a deep, disturbing voice like an action hero, saying "Hi there" sarcastically. Just saying "Hi there" makes it sound like he wants to be your friend.

Another Chick staple: The Jewish-looking devil. Speaking of the master race

I swear that half the devils in these pamphlets couldn't come across as more Jewish if they gave the poor hellbound bastards a blintz and advised them on IRA's. Did Chick's last job involve painting tattoos on Russian gangsters or something?