Hazed Cheerleaders Hold A Press Conference

Verbal abuse, silly string sprayed in the mouth, being shoved into a pool while bound and blindfolded - if it's between consenting adults, that's what some of us at Hair Balls consider a smooth second date. When it's less than welcome and serves as an initiation ritual, though, it's referred to as illegal hazing.

Or maybe "bad judgment", if you're the defense attorneys for the seven former Morton Ranch High School cheerleaders who were indicted on misdemeanor charges for their role in the incident.

Two of the victims and their mothers also spoke up today, giving a press conference with their lawyers Randall Sorrels and Chelsea Garza. Both lawyers represented the family of Jack Phoummarath, a UT student who in 2005 died of alcohol poisoning related to hazing, in a case against Phoummarath's fraternity and some of its members that resulted in a $4.2 million settlement.

This time around, the lawyers are working pro bono. Sorrel brushed
off a question of whether any civil damages would eventually be sought,
saying this is about getting the girls' story out there to prevent
similar situations.

The girls - Courtney Nickell and Laura De La Cruz,
both 15 years old now - echoed that sentiment. Their mothers, Catherine
Nickell and Diane De La Cruz, said their daughters were still dealing
with the emotional wounds the hazing caused and often feel ostracized
at school.

Of course, this being a press conference with
mostly television reporters, both girls were asked to recount the often
bizarre circumstances of the incident in extreme detail. (Gotta get
that perfect clip.) Here's some of the weirder stuff - you'll feel just
like you were there!

-- The soaked shorts on the head gag...we'll
let Laura De La Cruz speak for herself on this one: "One of the girls
was trying to disguise her voice to sound like a guy, and I started
laughing because I thought it was funny. Then she goes, 'You better be
quiet, or you're going to end up like your little friend Courtney, who
has urine on her head right now.'" Yeah, if we had a dime for every
time we've heard that one.

-- Courtney Nickell had to do the
doggie-paddle to swim to safety after being pushed into the deep end of
a pool with her hands bound in front of her body with duct tape. This
is significant because experts acknowledge the doggy-paddle as the most
humiliating of all the swimming strokes.

-- The hazers only
curtailed their fit of bad judgment after some of the girls - who were
lined up and re-bound with tape after the pool-shoving - started
crying. Laura De La Cruz said this stopped them from executing their
next phase, which apparently involved shower caps. It seems the female
members of the iPod generation are also capable of freaky, Lord of the
Flies-type shit. God help us.

-- The girls were taken to
breakfast afterwards -- the ostensible premise for the gathering -- but
only after they were told they had to walk home. (Jokes!) And they paid
with their folks' money and sat, soaking wet, at a different table than
their hazers. We hope none ordered the seafood omelet - that would have
officially made it the Worst. IHOP. Experience. Ever.