Marty, this is so fascinating. My friend and I were just talking about exactly this last night. Scientology is the long con. We were both victims, but no longer. I realized that the whole concept of “evaluation” being evil was ridiculous since we were inundated with evaluation everyday from the tech we were constantly reading and digesting and spitting out in the form of cognitions in sessions. It was just supposedly the “right kind” of evaluation. I also saw that as a Clear and OT I still had incidents with incredible emotion connected to them, even though I had processed them many times in many ways on my journey “up” the bridge. I had cogs, and BDFNs etc., but I was inculcated. I was an auditor, but I didn’t have to be. I knew the drill and I got through, blew charge and then two days ago when confronted by that incident again there was all that emotion again, but with a different viewpoint that made me see the insidiousness of the tech and it’s thought stopping properties. The desire for easy answers when life throws you curves. The compartmentalizing that I saw at first when I left is so much larger than I first could see. Deconstructing Scientology is a long process. It takes time and remember the first stage of grief is denial (a river in Egypt, lol).

I am not griping. As per usual, I am calling it as I see it. Of all the leading forums on the subject, this is the ONLY one that consistently has been driven on that basis. I know what has been supported and pursued and I know what has not been supported, and what has been rejected and attacked. There is no support – expressed agreement and support are two entirely different things practically – for assistance in graduating from scientology. Having given of myself (with the gracious sacrifices of my wife) for years in trying, I have a) observed what makes it difficult – and more dishearteningly, distasteful – for people to do so, and b) researched the source of such thought patterns, and c) researched the origins of the implantation of those thought patterns. My turn of focus is beyond emotion or intuition. It is practical, almost even simply mathematical. I have so much time – and even that is no longer my own. Given the effort vs demand/reward it is impractical to work with damaged people who consider themselves not just undamaged, but in many ways superior to most. And that informs my direction toward focusing the diminishing time I can devote to the subject toward informing people why they should not get into this mental dissonance – as difficult and time consuming as its reversal has proven to be – in the first place. Only a couple of weeks ago, you yourself were defending scientology with the likes of this: “Nothing I read in Scientology ever said to act like an asshole.” To make such an asinine assertion would require either a tremendous propensity for lying or a serious case of implanted cognitive dissonance. Giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming the latter, I’d love to help you. But, if what I have done in five years has you at that stage, there really is nothing else I can think of to do. So, I opt to warn people from putting themselves into such condition in the first place. Label my road and choices – after all, it is the scientology way – however you like. It makes no difference – beyond possibly serving as validation – in the final analysis.

From all the stories I've read, Rathbun's theory seems very valid to me. It is a testimony to the brainwashing of Scientology that the old-timers who leave do so, most of the time, not on the basis of the brainwashing fading but on something completely different... missing a spouse, being treated badly for trying to protect the tech, being treated badly by Miscavige, learning about some new Sciscam or misdeed, or some other deep-rooted feeling that overwhelms one's vanity at being a "big being." The deconversion seems to mostly come afterwards. This seems very strongly contrariwise to most established religions, where the deconversion seems to always come first.

Francois Tremblay
Undercover agent for the Church of the Subgenius (Praise Bob)

I just looked at this thread from almost three years ago and read this excerpt that was posted in 2014, back when Marty was still pontificating. But I have to say, I agree with his take here.... this is noteworthy, and I think marks the spot where he really and truly "got it":

Begin excerpt
martyrathbun09 | September 14, 2014 at 6:48 pm | Reply
I am not griping. As per usual, I am calling it as I see it. Of all the leading forums on the subject, this is the ONLY one that consistently has been driven on that basis. I know what has been supported and pursued and I know what has not been supported, and what has been rejected and attacked. There is no support – expressed agreement and support are two entirely different things practically – for assistance in graduating from scientology. Having given of myself (with the gracious sacrifices of my wife) for years in trying, I have a) observed what makes it difficult – and more dishearteningly, distasteful – for people to do so, and b) researched the source of such thought patterns, and c) researched the origins of the implantation of those thought patterns. My turn of focus is beyond emotion or intuition. It is practical, almost even simply mathematical. I have so much time – and even that is no longer my own. Given the effort vs demand/reward it is impractical to work with damaged people who consider themselves not just undamaged, but in many ways superior to most. And that informs my direction toward focusing the diminishing time I can devote to the subject toward informing people why they should not get into this mental dissonance – as difficult and time consuming as its reversal has proven to be – in the first place. Only a couple of weeks ago, you yourself were defending scientology with the likes of this: “Nothing I read in Scientology ever said to act like an asshole.” To make such an asinine assertion would require either a tremendous propensity for lying or a serious case of implanted cognitive dissonance. Giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming the latter, I’d love to help you. But, if what I have done in five years has you at that stage, there really is nothing else I can think of to do. So, I opt to warn people from putting themselves into such condition in the first place. Label my road and choices – after all, it is the scientology way – however you like. It makes no difference – beyond possibly serving as validation – in the final analysis."
End excerpt

I witnessed this myself, with the true believers who loved Hubbard and hated Miscavige. The more they loved Hubbard and his Tek, the more they hated Miscavige, who they saw as "keeping Scn from the masses". I had a good friend in this boat, and she became very hard to talk to; she in fact saw herself as superior to others and very aware. She thought this great awareness was actually the cause of her issues. She was in fact, VERY damaged by the indoctrination that she swallowed hook, line and sinker. Unless/until she could spot the actual cause of the damage (Hubbard himself, not his puppet Miscavige) she was never going to heal. She's still drinking the kool-aid, still looking for the perfect auditor that will save her.