Parent Week // Pause

7:52 AM

So as I posted Monday that in honor of our new arrival at the Millard (for more on that go HERE ) home I am doing a blog series called...

So as I posted Monday that in honor of our new arrival at the Millard (for more on that goHERE) home I am doing a blog series called Parent week. I am dedicating this entire week to a few things that I have learned in my time as a parent.

Ok so I have to admit, I am a horrible over-reacter when it
comes to my kids. I am in general an emotional person. So at times when my kids
do something wrong I can tend to get way to angry or upset very quickly.

Something I had to learn, and I am still learning, is that
my original reaction is not generally the best one. My feeling is usually very
right. The reason I am angry or upset is usually valid. But the way in which I
deal with it is not. So I have to take a pause before I react to any given
situation with my children. Me understanding this principle literally changed
my relationship with all my children, but especially the 2 oldest. It makes
situations much calmer which keeps them from feeling anxious.

Here are 4 reasons to take a pause.

It encourages actual
change - I shutter at the
thought that my children would begin to manage behavior because of my reactions
to them in serious situations or the not so serious ones. Giving my children an
opportunity to talk to me and dialogue about what happened gives me the
opportunity to really HELP them see what they did wrong. This leads to life change
because they understand! At their core they want to be better.

It encourages the
truth – I have learned in my own life and in watching my kids, that if you
are consistently overreacting to issues they tend to want to avoid it. So it can
breed lying and hiding things. As a parent the better you react the safer and
more comfortable they will be to share mistakes and bad news. The last thing any of us want is the our kids to feel like they cannot talk to us.

It encourages
dialogue – Monologue in parenting can be a dangerous thing. When you take a
minute and process through what your next move should be it helps you TALK them
through it rather than lecture them! Don’t get me wrong sometimes a good
lecture is needed, but overall a conversation and dialogue helps them
understand.

It encourages love – the
most important thing every kid needs to know is that they have parents that
love them. No matter what they do no matter what they say they are our children
and we love them. Taking a minute always reminds me to reaffirm my children of
how much I love them and how much they mean to me.

My addicition doesnt define me. Its a disease that I live with, but i will always be more than just an addiction. I fight every day to put the pieces back together. Thank you for taking part in my journey. You are not alone!