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Frogs are Debilitatingly Unaware of Their Own Anatomy

Ok so first of alldo you like the new layoutI got tired of picking colorsso i just picked my favorite color:milk

okay now let’s talk about some fucking FROGS

so we’ve all agreed by this point that animalscantalk right?rightgoodokayso there are these two frogsone of them lives in Osakathe other one lives in Kyotoin case you have not guessed these are JAPANESE FROGSwhich are basically identical to american frogsexcept they speak japanesebecause you seeas we have already establishedanimalscandefinitelytalk

so these frogs rightthey get LUDICROUSLY BOREDsitting in their pondsribbiting all the fuck over everything that crosses their pathsso one day as if with A SINGLE UNIFIED MINDboth frogs are like heyi need to get the fuck out of this cityit’s running me ragged manand the Osaka frog is like I WANNA GO TO KYOTOand the Kyoto frog is like I WANNA GO TO OSAKAif they had internet they could have arranged a house swapor at least likea stanky pond swapbut unfortunately japan does not start providing internet to animalsuntil at least the industrial revolution

SO OFF THEY GOhere is the problemFROGS SUCK AT TRAVELINGi meanKyoto and Osakaare FIFTY-SIX KILOMETERS APARTthat’s like FOUR HUNDRED AMERICAN MILESimagine trying to walk that farokaynow imagine trying to walk that farbut you are about as big as one of your feetalso your primary method of locomotion is jumping repeatedlyalso you are a FUCKING FROGand the corn on top of that shit casseroleis that right smack dab between kyoto and osakaIS A FUCKING MOUNTAINso these frogs are hoppin and hoppinand basically making themselves miserableand finally they get to the topat exactly the same timeand they are both like WHAAAAAAAAAAAATNO WAYNO FUCKING WAY MANand the Osaka frog is like what the fuck are you doing here manand the Kyoto frog is like im going to Osaka what are you doingand the Osaka frog is like no shit man i’m from Osaka and I’m going to Kyotoand the Kyoto frog is like dude what the fuck I’m from Kyotowe totally should have arranged a house swap or somethingtoo bad we are animals and do not have internetso they shoot the shit for a little whileand they are both like damn dudethis has been a pretty shitty journey so farwish we were tallerso we could see Osaka and Kyoto from hereto tell whether it’s worth going the rest of the way or notOH SHIT WAITTHERE’S TWO OF USIF WE STAND ON OUR HIND LEGSAND THEN STAND ON EACH OTHERS’ SHOULDERSWE CAN TOTALLY SEE WHATS UP

so that is what they doexcept here is the problem guysfrogs are in NO WAY designed to make human pyramidsthat is why they are called HUMAN pyramidsnot frogstacksnot only do they have spindly weakass legsbut their eyesare ON TOP OF THEIR HEADSso what happensis they climb up on top of each otherand then their eyes are looking straight back the way they cameand they are both like what the fuckKyoto is exactly like OsakaOsaka is exactly like Kyotowhat a fucking ripofflet’s go home

so they go homeand never get to see sweet foreign vistas and whatnotso pleasetake a lesson from these frogsand just take the next couple of minutesto make sure that you knowEXACTLY where your eyes are on your head