4. Jennifer Joyce -- @JenniferJoyceCA -- Circuit Attorney in the City of St. Louis

Clearly,
Jennifer Joyce aims to steal our hearts: Not only is she reaching out
to the news media more and more, and not only does her cell phone rock
to the ringtone of Stevie Wonder's "Living for the City." She's also been tweeting up a storm.

Goofy one-liner here, wink-and-a-nudge there, followed by a calling of bullshit and a subtle pun -- all whilst he's walking into the office. Richard Callow is an omnivorous, high-performance Twitter machine.

Patricia
Bynes, a Democratic committeewoman from Ferguson, Tweets. A lot. It's
often political, so not everybody is going to like what she's chirping
about. But one time she did something unbeTweetable: She saved a
freakin' kitten. "I was walking down the street & heard a cat
meowing. It took me awhile to figure it out," her first Tweet read,
accompanied by a photo of a sewer grate, with the words "DO NOT FEED
CAT" spray-painted on the sidewalk above it. With probably less effort
than it took that first person to scrawl orders to just let the kitty
die, Bynes leaped into Twaction: "Who do I call to get the cat out? I'm
downtown in the City & I'm not leaving this kitten trapped down
there." Soon, friends came by to try to lure the poor thing out, and
both the Metropolitan St. Louis Sewer District and St. Louis City Health
Department (@YourMSD) were notified. Workers cracked open a manhole and
found the little guy stuck in a sewer pipe. Even a rescue agency, Tenth
Life Cats (@tenthlifecats), was notified via Twitter and found the cat a
foster home. By the end of the ordeal, the kitten was vaccinated,
adopted, and Bynes was able to pay her a visit. Naturally she Tweeted
out the kitten's new name: Twitter.

He has 500+ followers on Twitter, and he follows zero people. Sweet Jesus, we love Bill McClellan.

Correction: I had fantasized that Bill was forced to tweet for his job, but "civilly disobeyed" by not following anyone (which is what comic Louis CK does). But @EricaSmith is telling us this is just an RSS feed. Having really looked at it, it seems she's right. So we rescind this honorable mention, and give it to......@EricaSmith!!