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February 19th, 2012 one year ago today was the day my life changed. I explain the events that took place in detail in my “Chapter Writings” listed under my categories. If you would like to read about what took place I suggest you start with Chpt 1 of course, then proceed through 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and then my results.

I cannot believe it has been 1 whole year since all this has happened! Goodness, when you’re in such turmoil in your life you think it is never going to end! But, here I am today with a much different perspective on life, family, working out, doctors, and yes, even God. I’ve always believed in Gods’ peace, love and healing but, to experience His faithfulness in all these things, sure does puts my perspective of God on a whole different level, and I couldn’t be more thankful!

So, it’s been a year. For those of you that know my story, I will give you an update on my back and blood clots.

My back isn’t even an issue for me anymore! I have not experience any pain, numbness or sciatic nerve pain since surgery. Sometimes, there will be a little achy-ness in my lower back, but nothing to cause me any concern. I’m able to teach spin classes and run again.

Blood Clots, I haven’t been on blood thinners since late November. This issue has cause some mild mental damage for me! Grrrrrr! My father in law asked me the other day if I eat non-stop salads now? Nope! I sure don’t! I’m not anywhere near how picky or strict about my eating like when I was on Coumadin, but I sure don’t eat lots of greens yet. I’m still hesitant on the thought of eating lettuces’ and spinach salads with vitamin K. I’ll get over it, eventually!

I have no problem eating all other veggies besides, spinach! Especially roasted vegetables! I love vegetables roasted, all kinds of veggies, like; beets, brussels sprouts, winter squash, fennel and root vegetables. I always try to convince people that if they roast a veggie that they thought they didn’t like, they would be pleasantly surprised by the different dimensions of flavor that hated veggie takes. Seriously, try roasting brussel sprouts, outstanding!

Actually when I was finally off of my blood thinners and I had the freedom to eat “green” again, I chose roasted brussel sprouts! I remember telling this to my pastor and he was floored! His faced grimaced saying to me, “really? brussels sprouts!?” Yup, and they were delish!

This is my first bite after Coumadin!

Even through blood thinners, roasted veggies are something I never stopped enjoying. Ironically there is probably the same amount of vitamin K in the olive oil, as if I was eating a salad! Oh well, I’m over that now!

Cut your veggies. I used eggplant in this batch. Roasted eggplant is so good! Beckyf, stop curling up your nose!

Don’t cut your veggies too thin or small; they will get too soft and mushy. Drizzle with olive oil and season; toss together and make sure every cut is coated.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Serve as a side dish, filling in wraps, on top of a salad or if you’re like me, eat as your main meal!

Clean all vegetables. Cut into medium sized chunks, place on a jelly roll pan. Coat with olive oil, crushed garlic, seasoning, salt and pepper. Toss all veggies together until everything is coated with the oil.

Roast for 15-20 minutes. Tossing once between baking time. Vegetables are done when their edges are looking slightly charred and toasted. Don’t over roast, or your veggies will get mushy. (I have done this many times, don’t throw out, the veggies are still yummy!)

After posting Lemon Pound Cake and explaining about my adventure in potty training, I have received much more realistic and welcomed advice from all of you. Thank you!

But, the best advice that I think will work is…NOT THE SAME FOR RUDY!

CHEERIO’S DO NOT BELONG IN THE POTTY! “Have you lost your mind, mom!” Cereal belongs in the cereal bowl, NOT the toilet bowl.

Yes, I’m happy Rudy knows that putting food in the toilet isn’t normal. But, I have to question why he isn’t phased by flushing the family pet fish down the toilet, and that this isn’t the least bit traumatic to him…??? hmmmm…? I’m Slightly concerned.

I recently put a new app on my IPad for Rudy to play and learn from called “Potty Time” (I thought I could try to “trick” him into going on the potty by getting this app.) I was going to stop with my efforts and let this cute little frog named Hopkins, do the work for me.

This story explains how Hopkins is a little nervous about letting his diapers go, and one of the pictures is illustrating this cute little frog hugging his diapers like they’re his blankie.

When I read this story I use my super excited voice when Hopkins reaches victory and transitions into “Big Boy Underwear” but this doesn’t phase Rudy. He will just say, “yah froggy good job.” Then he will ask to play games….

Rudy hides when he is doing “his potty time.” It was quiet and he was nowhere to be seen. I usually just follow the unpleasant scent to find my little redhead. But there was no scent this time. I found him hiding in my bedroom sitting on the floor with my IPad going through the book “Potty Time” all on his own. I wanted to shout and praise God for this break through!

I just stood there super quiet listening to Rudy read the story to himself filling in the words from memory, because I have read this book to him 1,978,999 times (yah, I exaggerate). But, through my eavesdropping I noticed Rudy wasn’t repeating the correct words that I say to him.

Rudy wasn’t flipping through the pages either. He was staying on the picture of Hopkins clutching his diapers scared to let them go.

This moment was mixed with emotions for me. I wanted to cry, and smile at the same time. Cry because I felt defeat once again, and smile because I actually did feel and witness a victory from Rudy. I was proud to see Rudy care and feel concern for a little someone that felt scared. It was nice to see this side of my Rudy.

Yes, I know Rudy felt this compassion for this frog in training because he can totally relate, and lets be honest he doesn’t want to be the last one still in diapers! Every child in the nursery at church has conquered using the potty except Rudy. He is feeling a little left behind. And now this little green creature is using the potty too! Rudy felt compelled to talk him out of it!

I keep telling myself the same thing all of you keep telling me, “don’t worry about it, Rudy will not be going to school in diapers!” Yup, I believed you until I saw THIS! Thanks to my sister Becky!

So, for all of you that say this doesn’t happen……ummmm….you might be wrong!

Ok, with all craziness aside, I have let the potty training thing go. I’m a stay at home mother that doesn’t have the pressure to conquer this task for convenience of child care providers. This will happen when he is ready and for some reason he isn’t ready. That’s ok, to be quiet honest I’m not that great at change either. The only change I want to stop is his diapers. It will happen when it happens. Besides I’m not ready for him to grow up so fast either. He’s my Rudy Raccoon.

“Lord, give me the patience to be the best mother I can be for this child you have blessed me with. I don’t want to impact anything negative, I just want to raise my children that will always honor You.”

I guess just like the awesome Lord we have, He never gives up on us, and He is patiently waiting for us to come around at times. I will never give up on my children no matter what, just like the good Lord will never give up me!

Sometimes I feel so humbled by the untainted love God has for me. Gosh, I mess up so often, and yet He loves me with a love that is so perfect and never ending. His love covers me like the morning dew, so soft, clean, pure and refreshing….

My husband is the biggest blessing God has blessed me with. Which in turn makes me fall in love with my Savior all that much more. When The Lord was creating Kent, He had me in mind.

“I am my lover’s and my lover is mine…” Song of Solomon 6:3 NIV

Things I Love about Kent:

1.) he loves The Lord

2.) his ability to tell me, “it’s ok” and I believe him

3.) he is the best daddy ever

4.) he has the ability to make me whisper, “I love you Kent” when he’s not even around.

5.) he loves my food (but he is getting a little too comfortable in his critiquing, he has picked that up from my father)

6.) he ignores my stress during stressful catering jobs and still helps me (BeckyF & Samantha, you both have witnessed this many times)

7.) his dry humor

Things I would like to change about Kent, but love him anyways are:

1.) he hates nuts (so annoying)

2.) he gives me a 5 minute delay before he does anything I ask

3.) he wrestles too hard until he makes someone cry. (Yes, even his own children)

4.) he NEVER puts the milk or orange juice away

5.) he don’t cook. ANYTHING EVER, he would rather starve. (I don’t get it either)

I figured I should stop there and make sure the “I love” column was longer! I will say, the latter column; I typed through it like lightning! 😉

Kent and I have been married for 10 years. Yes, as with all marriages there have been a lot of up’s and down’s, but keeping God in the center of our marriage and giving Him the broken pieces to mend and place back together, has only made our marriage stronger. We have been blessed, because of perseverance.

Hold steadfast in whatever difficult situation you might have, you will be blessed! My prayer is that Kent and I won’t have too many difficult situations, but that we will never grow numb to the importance of our marriage staying strong in the foundation of God always being 1st in everything.

“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15 NIV

Oh besides, Kent and I have said, “we will never get divorced because we are too cheap and it’s too much paper work!” 😉

Kent loves chocolate. I’m convinced he loves chocolate because I don’t make it that often. Find out why HERE.

Remove the cream from the heat as soon as it starts to get small simmering bubbles around the saucepans’ edges.

Position rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 325°F. Arrange six 3/4-cup ramekins in a roasting or 9×13-inch pan.

Place the chopped chocolate in a medium sized bowl; set aside.

In a medium saucepan, heat the cream over medium heat until it’s steaming; remove from the heat and pour over the chocolate. Let sit for a few minutes, then whisk until smooth.

Whisk together the egg yolks, sugar and vanilla. When the chocolate mixture has cooled a bit, whisk in the egg yolk mixture. Divide the custard between the cups, and pour warm water into the pan to come halfway up the sides of the cups.

Bake for 25-30 minutes, until the custards are set. Cool, then refrigerate until well chilled.

So yes, for those of you that are doing the math IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME! (I’m 35, if that helps some of you)

Over the years I have developed quite a phobia of chocolate. I don’t even eat things that are even drizzled, touching, frosted, coated or scooped out with the same spoon as chocolate. I’m totally overboard with this, I know. But, as with anything I don’t even think about this. It’s just been my way of life for almost 23 years.

I do eat white chocolate without cocoa butter. White chocolate isn’t even really chocolate, it’s just a delicious creamy candy. And as far as soda pop, COME ON THAT STUFF IS AWFUL FOR YOU!

However, I do love the smell of a rich chocolate dessert baking. And who doesn’t love the smell of coffee?! Sometimes I’m tempted, but I never surrender.

Ok, now that I have made my confession and I feel this freedom, I want to share with you my requested birthday cake when I did eat chocolate.

I would beg Nellie to make me this cake all the time. I’d eat this cake until I was sick. And by golly if I were to ever eat chocolate again this is what I would eat first and then second!

Nellie would make this cake in a bit of a different style. But all the ingredients are the same.

Make and bake your cake. This is a very runny batter.

While the cake is baking; make filling. The raspberries were beautiful. Gently fold the berries into the sweetened whipped cream.

Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Remove from oven. Cool completely.

Cut into 18-20 squares. Then split each square into two. Fill with the filling. Smooth the sides. And dip all sides into the ganache then cover the top. Or, leave the sides exposed and just spoon the ganache over the top. Garnish with a raspberry.

*Chocolate Raspberry Cake Squares first seen and created on Tahnycooks.

*Side note: Using a heart shaped cookie cutter would be super cute. I thought about it, but I didn’t want to have any cake scraps around since, I don’t eat chocolate! The square shape prevented scraps!

Have you ever had one of those days that it seems like everything you touch turns out as a stink’n disaster?!

Well, that was my day. It started like this:

Max shut his alarm off before I heard it in his room blasting off to the Superman theme song. So, because of this, he missed the bus. Which then resulted in getting Rudy Raccoon up from his sound sleep.

I kinda cherish the quiet mornings after Max gets on the bus. I really enjoy watching Beth Moore uninterrupted with Rudy’s wants and needs of the day.

You would think I could drop my child off to school on time, but no! And since we were running 3 minutes late I had to “sign him in” at the office. But before I surrendered to exposing myself (sweatpants, moon boots, no make-up, frizzy hair and a stained sweatshirt from the night before) to the other mothers that must get up at 5am to put on a nice pant suit, make-up and boots with heels, I seriously debated on just keeping Max home. Bad mom moment, I know…
When I get to feeling this way at times reading THIS HELPS ME.

Since Rudy and I were up and out already, I thought it would be safe to go to the library for only 37 seconds so I can get a movie and go hibernate back home. But….there was a lovely lady in there that noticed my 3 years and 4 month old is not potty trained yet. I wanted to cry and tell her, “I’ve been trying!” But, I just listened to her with a smile on my face while she was giving me her advice on how she had the miracle solution on how to get toddlers trained.

This ladies miracle solution was simple: “just let them run around at home with nothing on.” BRILLIANT! (Now remember, I’m desperate) She did say I would have to stay home all day and keep putting my child on the potty every few minutes.

Stay home all day: Check!
No clothes on my child, translation=no laundry: Check!

Accident 1 happened on the kitchen wood floor directly after sitting on the toilet for 8 minutes.

Accident 2 happened on the carpet. sigh…

Accident 3 happened directly on one of my kitchen drawers. I opened the drawer, and my ramekins were full of urine. I quickly called my friend Becky to get calmed down and to have her talk me out of going to the library and demanding this ladies address!

So after a good bleaching, and putting a diaper on Rudy, I had some rational thinking that I was the coo-coo one for trying this method, I decided pound cake would make things better. Prayer and baking calm me down.

The day was grey (in more ways then one) outside and I thought the refreshing taste of lemon with a sweet glaze was just what I needed to brighten things up around here!

Doesn’t it look yummy!

I can’t wait to have a slice or twoooo………nnnnNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!

This literally slipped out of my hands. I stood looking down at it for about 27 minutes in disbelief. Fortunately, I did eat the slice that is pictured above. This was 😦 delicious!
I will be making his again, but just not today. I gotta go, Rudy just spilled his milk! Shocking!

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease an 8 1/2 by 4 1/4 by 2 1/2-inch loaf pan. Line the bottom with parchment paper. Grease and flour the pan.

Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt into 1 bowl. In another bowl, whisk together the yogurt, 1 cup sugar, the eggs, lemon zest, and vanilla. Slowly whisk the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients. With a rubber spatula, fold the vegetable oil into the batter, making sure it’s all incorporated. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for about 50 minutes, or until a cake tester placed in the center of the loaf comes out clean.

Meanwhile, cook the 1/3 cup lemon juice and remaining 1/3 cup sugar in a small pan until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is clear. Set aside.

When the cake is done, allow it to cool in the pan for 10 minutes. Carefully place on a baking rack over a sheet pan. While the cake is still warm, pour the lemon-sugar mixture over the cake and allow it to soak in. Cool.

For the glaze, combine the confectioners’ sugar and lemon juice and pour over the cake.

Recipe adapted from Ina Garten. I bet she didn’t drop hers! Or have pee in her ramekins!

Side note: Ephesians 5:20 (NIV) always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I wouldn’t change a single thing about my life! I’m richly loved and forever accepted!

“Obedience” is a subject Kent and I have mentioned lately in our conversations. We have realized that there are certain circumstances in life that being obedient to God is not that simple. You would think just for the mere fact that we are christians this wouldn’t be so hard. We need to just trust and obey God. But, oh my…that’s easier said then done. God never said it would be easy.

To be obedient is to be “willing” and to “submit”. Just hearing the word “submit” can bring negative feelings, especially for woman. But, God never intended for that word to have a negative stigma. We humans can be put to blame for that. And to be “willing” isn’t that easy either!

Lately there are subjects in my household that bring up the question, “are we being obedient to God?” Well, this question always leaves me thinking. “If I’m obedient to God, it could change my life drastically, it might be uncomfortable to go through, I might be embarrassed, I might lose friends, we could suffer….” Goodness, after listing all these things about being obedient, who would want too?

Then I have to ask myself what would happen if I/we weren’t being obedient to God? Not being obedient to God is far worse then any temporary embarrassment, suffering or loss of friends. We could be in a state of discontentment, or constantly be in search for fulfillment that isn’t being filled by our own searching. And being disobedient is going against what God tells us in John 14:15, “If you love me, you will obey what I command.”

This reminds me of Jonah in the Bible. He didn’t want to be obedient to God by going to Nineveh like God told him to. So, what did Jonah do? He ran away and searched for a place to hide from God. Can you imagine how he felt?! The constant pit in Jonah’s stomach, the worry, the guilt, the disobedience. He tried to escape God and His request and it only made matters much worse for Jonah.

See, by us denying that we need to be obedient to God makes us miserable! Yes, by being obedient to God might not seem like it would be pleasant given your circumstance, but we at least know that God is with us, and we are teaming together to conquer the task at hand. Jonah was running from God and trying to hide from Him, which is impossible. But, through Gods grace He gave Jonah a second chance. I don’t want to run from God, I want to run with Him while He’s holding my hand.

Being disobedient to God is depriving ourselves of His blessings. To be obedient to God is accepting His blessing. His blessing could be unfolded through our journey of obedience by just learning to trust Him, and to grow in spiritual maturity.

Of course being obedient to God doesn’t only bless us but, you never know how our trial blesses others throughout our journey. My friends Valerie and Michelle are both great testaments of this. Valerie just went on a journey to Indonesia. The mission trip she was on lasted 10 days. Valerie has 3 young boys at home that she left behind. She was very hesitant at first to go but she answered the call to be obedient to God. And through this beautiful journey she was blessed by God opening her eyes to a whole new world out there that needed what she had to share, and little did she know just how much she needed them. They were both blessed by her obedience to God. You can read about Valerie’s journey here.

Michelle, (my neighbor from years back.) Her husband and family have surrendered to Gods calling by way of adoption from Ethiopia. Wow, that is so amazing! To rescue a child in need and to be able to share the love of Christ isn’t only a blessing to this child but it will be within their hearts too. And what a strong testimony this child will have to share with others as he grows older throughout his life.
You can learn about Michelle’s journey here.

Just like when our children are being disobedient we as their parent and God as our Father are here to guide us back into the right direction, to protect us and to help us understand what path we need to take, so we can grow and be a light in this often too dark of a world.

So, yes being obedient to God can be a “not so eager” challenge at times. But, to miss out on Gods blessing He has in store for us and others is just tragic.

My good friend Karen sent me this quote, “when you feel intimidated, remember that you have the DNA of the Almighty God!”

Lord, help Kent and I to be bold in obedience to You.

I took this picture of this crabapple tree just about 1 month ago. It was shocking and so refreshing to see what God has in store. I can only imagine it was tough and unpleasant for those blooms to be so vibrant on such a cool winter day. But, it blessed me and it was a nice reminder that “OUR Spring” is just around the corner. We are renewed.

Every morning I get Max up for school and send him off on the bus with a little bit of anxiousness in the pit of my stomach. I, of course worry about his safety at school and on the bus. The roads might be icy, or maybe there was another shooting incident at another school that makes me consider home schooling. Gosh, sometimes these feelings engulf me. “Leave it all in God’s hands Tahny, Max will be home safe and sound shortly after 3pm”….. Sometimes I’m more amazed by how much “loving” aches. It’s so complex.

Last night I had a important conversation with Max, and one of the questions I asked him was, “Max who loves you more then anything?” I have to admit I wanted and was expecting him to say, “you and dad.” But, that’s not what he said at all, he said, “God.” Max answered this question without any hesitation. Of course Max is right, and I couldn’t be more thrilled that he understands this truth without even a second thought. Then unexpectedly I was almost jealous that Max was so secure in knowing he has captivated Gods heart.

I’m amazed at times at the natural ability for children to understand, feel and love without boundaries. It’s like they “get” something we don’t. They understand and can grasp a certain level of Gods love that we adults try way too hard to analyze. We don’t let it just happen naturally, we have to pick it apart and remind God of all our mistakes over and over, and then tell God He couldn’t love someone like me…. But, it’s at this point in my life that I hear Gods precious voice say, “that’s exactly how much I love you Tahny. I love you, more then how awful any sin you have ever done. My love for you has broken the chains, and have set you free, I forgive and have forgotten all your sins that you have confessed and I’m so in love with you.”

The love for my husband and family seems so immeasurable. We imagine life without them, and just the mere thought takes our breath away. How can God love us more then how much we love our own loved ones? I can’t wrap my mind around this one. And I don’t think it’s God intention for us to ever “get it”, He just wants us to know it! Just like Max, he knows it. And, I’m sure throughout life just like the rest of us, he will have times of regret that will make him think he has lost the level of Gods love. And I, as his mother will tell him everything is ok, and there is nothing in this world he can do that will remove the depth of love God has for him, and I will always love my son no matter what too….hey maybe I “get” more then I realize…

I love reading Ephesians 3:14-19 right now. These bible verses make me feel in love with such an incredible Creator. We will never be able in our earthly minds ever realize just how WIDE, how LONG, how HIGH, and how DEEP His love really is. I really love Ephesians 3:19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. To comprehend the love of Christ is like trying to understand how the ocean knows where to stop on dry land, or the speed of light (I’ll never get that one!) or how I can send an email to my sister in Japan and in 5 seconds it has arrived in her “in-box!” All these things are so hard for my mind to wrap around, but they are all true happenings. Just like the love of Christ, it’s amazing and I certainly cannot wrap my mind around it but I can stand firm in the truth of His promise that He loves me just that much…..immeasurable.

In bible school I remember singing this song as a young child usually being lead by my favorite church leader Michelle 😉 I still remember the hand motions to this song.

Deep and Wide

Deep and wide
Deep and wide
There’s a fountain flowing deep and wide
Deep and wide
Deep and wide
There’s a fountain flowing deep and wide

Lord, I want to love you So deep, So wide, So long and So high. Help me to never loose sight of that. And that I never stop pursuing to understand the complexity of Your love for me, because it’s all I need.