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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What exactly am I doing?

There hasn't been a whole lot of writing going on around here lately, although I think about it quite a bit, when I'm out on the trail on horseback, I have a lot of time to write all kinds of things in my head. Today, I gave a massage and am now laying on a heating pad in bed after putting my first horse shoe on a horse start to finish by myself yesterday.

I've been feeling a bit insular for the last two months, perhaps protective of my heart, not sure what to share, and by default not sharing much at all. I've also been working quite hard at a new job that I can't really write about.

I've been hired as the manager of the Maroon Bells Outfitters, up here at the T Lazy 7 Ranch, in Aspen, Colorado, where I live. We do trail rides, and its been really great to get back to work with horses, and to make some good friends here on the ranch.

I only had to stand in this position for 45 minutes while not letting him take his foot back!

Its been wonderful for the kids, who get off the school bus and come over to the stables, do their homework with Candice in the office, and help put up tack, grain the horses and then go for a bareback ride. Now that my mom is home from her epic road trip, they are down at the stables less, and we all miss them. But now that she is home, home feels like home again and there is a sense of order and calm.

I have to say that while the hours at the barn can be tough, and it can be hard physical work, it is incredibly nice to have a job outside thats a one minute walk from my house. I love to be able to run home, I love that the crew can stop by if they need to talk or want to hang out, I love that the kids can be home and loose on the ranch while I'm at work. Its a good, consistent paycheck, and that is helping a LOT. I also love working hard. I like to feel my body moving and lifting and to see the change in front of me.

I spent a day sewing saddle bags back together while Mike and Cyrus played guitar, and the rain came down in sheets. I spent a day shoveling manure out of the trailer, and I spend some time of every day trying to build some bridges between the tiny, hard working crew in this physical environment where worth seems to be measured literally in how many pounds you can carry.

This summer has been tricky financially, lean, and unexpected to say the least. I went to massage school in order to have an income in the off season, and while that helps, working for the Aspen Club and Spa and the St. Regis is terrific, the work is lean this season, and I only get paid if I get booked. So there were days that I was down there for six hours and only worked for one. The other issue with massage is that I have Fibromyalgia, and it often flares up when I do more than three hours of massage at a time, which is ideally what I'd want to do, at least three, no more than six.

Michael came back from Africa and came to visit with his kids for a month, and we had a really magical end of summer together. He is moving here when he gets back from the stretch he's currently on, October 25, and his kids are moving here, too, in December over Christmas break. So there will be eight of us living in the Ponds at the ranch! When Michael is in Africa every other month for his job, my mom and I will have all five kids, which is going to be wonderful.

This job at the Maroon Bells Outfitters ends Oct. 1, and I have some days for the St. Regis, and I managed to pick up some days working hunting season. I'll be going out to Meeker for 7 days in October, and going back out for second season in November. Apparently its like 4:30 in the morning to 11:30 at night, cooking and prepping for the hunters, making less than I'm making now.

I wondered, as I was pounding my first horse shoe in to TD's foot yesterday, what the heck I am doing. This isn't skiing. In fact, my dreams for training this summer did not materialize the way I'd hoped, and so I ended up scrambling for odd jobs and trying to get in better shape for this season. What in the world am I doing? The answer came back pretty quick. I'm swimming.

This summer, I've cleaned a trailer, scrubbed urine off the floor, taken people on hikes, trained horses, given lots of masssage, washed dishes, taken trail rides out, shoveled manure, and worked with a team of people who needed to come back together in order to succeed. I find myself in this funny position where I get to do the job I love as often as possible, but the inbetween times are all about surviving so I can buy groceries and put gas in my car.

My car is another interesting and amazing story, it was a gift from a client. I needed a way to get to Academy, my truck had finally died. I wrote RIP, Bronco, and I was truly sad to see it go, this truck and I have been through a lot together. I get, as if by magic, a text saying "need a car?" from a client. And so we shopped for a used Subaru Forrester, with no bells or whistles, and found one with super low mileage. I have a car that has a door that opens and closes, it has all its windows, a heater, and a radio! It no longer snows in my car. This will be my first winter driving to work in a vehicle with all its windows, I can't wait!

I am humbled by this timely gift, "we can't have you taking public transportation to training, Kate." was what he said. Suddenly, my kids are in a safe vehicle, and I drive a car that gets 28 miles to the gallon. I can afford to get to training, if I can afford to pay for training. And here we are back at the odd jobs.

Hopefully, I will learn a lot about why people do this and help them be happy while they do it.

I'm not sure how hunting season is going to go, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. On the one hand, I'm not afraid of hard work, and this is a decent paycheck when there is not a lot of work to be found. I feel that if I am there, its my job to extend some grace and try to understand these people's points of view, not to come to camp with preconcieved notions and prejudices. Just because I don't eat meat doesn't mean they shouldn't ether. I'm not interested in imposing my ideals on someone else, and maybe this is an opportunity to understand people who feel very differently from me in a better, more compassionate, less judgemental way. I feel like I'm stepping right into the fire.

I've asked if I'm going to learn to field dress and quarter an elk, and the answer is, probably, if the hunters actually get one. This feels like an opportunity to learn what it is like to be a completely and totally different person than I am. To understand life from a different perspective.

And I feel like, if I wasn't so broke, I wouldn't need to take this job, and I wouldn't have this opportunity to see life like this. So maybe things are still lean because I still have a lot of lessons to learn from the world on the poorer side of life. I'm okay with that, shoeing a horse yesterday was an extremely satisfying, physical task. It was hard, hot, dirty work, and I'm sore today for sure. So I'm grateful for these opportunities, grateful for the job that they gave me at the barn, glad to be helpful untangling the dificult situation that existed there, and curious about where life will go over the next two months.

There has been snow on Pyriamid Peak four days last week, while I'm glad to be learning the lessons that are coming my way, Im eager for ski season to start so that I feel focused again. This year is a tryout year. Its almost time!

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Kate's Team 2016: Technical Skiing Coach: Jonathan Ballou

Currently, Jonathan spends his northern hemisphere winters as the Training Manager for the Ski & Snowboard Schools of Aspen/Snowmass and as an Examiner and Alpine Committee Chair for PSIA-Rocky Mountain Division. In the other winter (deep south), Jonathan works as a trainer for the Rookie Academy and an examiner and education coordinator for the New Zealand Snowsports Instructors Alliance. Click on the photo to view Jonathan's You Tube channel full of inspiring skiing demonstrations!

Kate's Team 2016: Physical Conditioning: Bill Fabrocini

Bill Fabrocini PT, OCS, CSCS, and former physical therapist and strength coach of Olympic Snowboard champions Gretchen Bleiler and Chris Klug. Bill is currently the rehabilitation and conditioning advisor to the Chivas de Gaudalajara professional soccer team n Mexico, and strength coach to professional cyclist Tejay Van Garderen. Click on the photo to explore Bill's Tumblr blog, filled with videos on conditioning for athletes.

Kate's Team 2016: Mental Coaching: Thomas Crum

Thomas Crum is an author and presenter in the fields of conflict resolution, peak performance, and stress management. He is known throughout the world for his interactive live presentations and his three best-selling books. Recent clients include the NFL’s Miami Dolphins and the Navy SEALs. Click on the image to read more about coaching by Tom Crum.

Kate's Team 2016: Training Partner: Kurt Fehrenbach

Kurt was a member of the 2008 National Alpine Team and is currently an Examiner for PSIA RM and a verifier for Aspen/Snowmass. He and Kate have been training and adventuring together for over eight years.

Kate's Team 2016: Mentor - Megan Harvey

2-term National Alpine Team alum, Megan was the first person to step in and help me believe I could achieve my goal of making the National Team. Megan combines an incredibly giving heart, with an insatiable drive and problem-solving bug. Megan has taught me how to be a great trainer, how to give my time to others, how to be an integral part of the ski school. She has taught me about budgeting my time, how to be professional in this industry, and how to help others. She is also willing to give it to me straight, working with me both on and off-snow. Her no-nonsense direct feedback is to the point and never couched in cuddles or bubbles. She has an opinion. She shares it. I do what she says. Megan is one of the most incredibly dedicated, giving, loving, caring people I have ever had the pleasure to meet, and I am grateful to count her amongst my friends, and honored to have her as an official member of my team.

Kate's Team 2016: Bootfitting: Brent Amsbury

Brent Amsbury of Park City Ski Boot has a terrific balance between the art and science of boot fitting. And he can get my big, flat, frozen, numb foot comfortably into a race plug boot, no sweat.

Kate's Team 2016: My Amazing Family!

Every aspiration needs support. I am fortunate to have the energy, belief and support of my entire family behind me as I reach for a spot on the National Alpine Team in 2016.

Read it from the Begining!

Heros and Inspiration

These are people who I am learning about who inspire me, make me feel like I'm not crazy to love what I do, and who broke trail ahead of me so I can ski, too...

Bill Brigs:

The first man to ski the Grand Teton, he skied it alone, with no witnesses. But a newspaper plane took him to the top the next day and the evidence was still there: solo tracks in the snow from the top of the Grand. "You dream up what you want to do with your life..."

Stefano De Benedetti:

"In the Perfect Moment, I was so concentrated there was no space for other thoughts. When you want to make a turn, and you are at the top of a steep vertical wall, I mean, when you are in the situation that if you fall you die, everything changes. You think very much about turning. You think very much about WHERE to turn. And you do all this in a very special way.

You act like a different person.

You act with all your self.

You are making a completely different experience, and in some way, you are discovering yourself.

This is the magic of the mountain. You can except to die for this. You don't wanna to die. But to live so close to the possibility of dying, you understand what is really important, and what NOT.

And this makes you a better person. Its probably the highest moment of my life because in the perfect moment I was, or I felt to be, a little superman."

Anatoli Boukreev:

An incredibly accomplished high altitude climber and guide, Anatoli also pulled off one of the most spectacular high altitude rescues single handedly in a blinding snowstorm after having not had significant rest for 35 hours and after summiting Mt. Everest. He saved the lives of three climbers from his team, the ill fated Scott Fischer Mountain Madness expedition in 1996.

"Mountains are not stadiums where I satisfy my ambition to achieve, they are the cathedrals where I practice my religion...I go to them as humans go to worship. From their lofty summits I view my past, dream of the future and, with an unusual acuity, am allowed to experience the present moment...my vision cleared, my strength renewed. In the mountains I celebrate creation. On each journey I am reborn."

Snow Report

Visit this great site for the MOST detailed info on freezing temps at different altitudes, and make better decisions in the back country!

Links To Visit

Quotes That Help

"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." - Carlos Castena

"A life in harmony with nature, the love of truth and virtue, will purge the eyes to understanding her text." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world." ~ Buddha

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

"You are right where you need to be. And where you need to be to learn what you need to learn is not always comfortable and can be quite unpleasant." Amy Keefer

"There is nothing new in the world; everything has been done before, sometimes hundreds of times. But our perspectives always change. There are always new perspectives." - the Dalai Lama

"Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrong doing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean." - Aldous Huxley

"The Chinese character for "Crisis" is comprised of two characters: the character for "Danger" and the character for "Opportunity"."

"Take your face out of your hands and clear your eyes. You have a right to your dreams, and DON'T BE DENIED." Ben Harper

"Praise and blame. Gain and loss. Pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all." - Buddha

"Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get up." Chinese Proverb.

"A venturesome minority will always be eager to set off on their own, and no obstacles should be placed in their path; let them take risks, for godsake, let them get lost, sunburnt, stranded, drowned, eaten by bears, buried alive under avalanches - that is the right and privilege of any free American." - Edward Abbey

"Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." -Henry Ford

"If you are walking along with nothing but a bamboo cane, and someone attacks you with a sword, you should take their sword from them. This, then, is already your victory." 15th Century Martial Arts Master (from the book Secret Tactics of the Martial Arts Experts)

"Those who say you can't shouldn't get in the way of those who are doing it" - unkown via Alyssa

"Somewhere, someone is training harder than you are. And when you meet them in head to head competition, they will beat you." No Fear

"Its not nearly as High and Tight as you think it is, Kate" - Josh Spohler