"I will try to express myself in some mode of life or art as freely as I can and as wholly as I can, using for my defense the only arms I allow myself to use -- silence, exile, and cunning." -- James Joyce

The Tribulations of a Philosopher

I was having lunch at a local pub, and got up to go to the gents’ room. There are two at this establishment, but both were occupied, so I took up a position midway between them, in order to grab whichever one opened first. While I was standing there, the owner approached me and asked, “Do you need anything?” (Since I was midway, it wasn’t clear I was waiting for a restroom to become free.)

I responded, “Oh, both bathrooms are in use, so I’ve just positioned myself to move in whatever direction nec…”

I then came to a complete halt. I was thinking, “Is it really right to regard my choice as ‘necessary’? Couldn’t I choose to head to the toilet that freed up second? But, by necessity, perhaps I mean ‘rationally necessary,’ and my freedom of will actually consists in embracing the commands of reason as those of my own will?”

After a couple of seconds, I noticed the owner was staring at me, and I said, “necessary.”