High Fives

Tags:

FIVE FOR YOUR IDAHO IN-LAWSMeriwether’s: The fresh air and delightful, unchallenging food will defuse any awkwardness.Pazzo: The ultimate in old-school class. Sammy Davis would feel right at home.Roxy: Yeah, they’ll disown you. But the looks on their faces will be worth it.Three Square Grill: They make their own bread, pickles, smoked meat­—it’s a small-town joint.Veritable Quandary: If you want the essence of Portland, but shorn and shaven, this is the place.

FIVE BEST LUNCHESBluePlate: Is that a meatloaf sandwich and a hibiscus-star anise soda I see before me?Ten 01: The three-course “Power Lunch”: The best $15 you’ll spend all week.Chennai Masala: Indian buffet of the Gods!Kenny & Zuke’s: Pastrami me—Stat!Wong’s King Seafood: Dim sum, actually: The best you’ll find in the 503 (or the 971).

FIVE PERFECT PASTASA Cena: Housemade tortelloni with heavy mascarpone and sweet summer squash with tomato jam.Caffe Mingo: You simply cannot beat the basic gnocchi alla Romana.Good Taste Noodle House: The Super Bowl is everything the name implies.Nostrana: “Keith’s” ricotta ravioli. Keith swears by it.Tabla: The truffle-butter tajarin is the best noodle dish in the world. No question.

FIVE PEACEFUL PATIOSFirehouse: Much of the greenery around you will end up on your plate sooner or later.Belly Timber: Hawthorne Boulevard almost seems serene from the wraparound porch. Almost.Screen Door: The fair-weather overflow zone is the nicest picnic spot on East Burnside Street.Meriwether’s: Three! Three! Three patios in one!Yakuza: This wild courtyard is as pleasant as can be—until the plants eat you.

FIVE ENTERTAINING OPEN KITCHENSBeast: Where else can you watch the servers dance to Cyndi Lauper?D.O.C.: You have to walk through the kitchen to enter the restaurant, so you’d better be watching out.Ken’s Artisan Pizza: Fire!Lauro Kitchen: David Machado designed the blue-tiled line for maximum theatricality, and it works.Sel Gris: The eye of Mondok will pin you under its deadly gaze—if you’re an appetizer, that is.

FIVE AMAZING VIEWSMark’s on the Channel: Look, honey! Kayakers!Portland City Grill: Thirty floors up with a side of pan-Asian eats.Rocket: You’ve never seen downtown Portland like this before.Ten 01: The second-floor corner table is the best people-watching spot in the Pearl.Lucier: Under the bridge downtown/ I spent my life away. Ay ay. Ay-ay.

FIVE VEGETARIAN ASYLUMSBijou Cafe: When you’ve got local mushrooms and leeks, who needs ham in an omelette?The Farm Cafe: So charming it’ll turn you vegetarian on the spot.Ken’s Artisan Pizza: Note to self: roasted vegetable platter = vorgasm.Nutshell: Because it’s no longer vegan. Boo-yah!Vindalho: With Indian seasoning this deft, meat is just garnish.

FIVE SERIOUS SEAFOOD JOINTSAlberta Street Oyster Bar: Kumamoto, Totten Inlet and Penn Cove are just the American oysters.Hiroshi: Hiro Ikegaya has a network that brings him fish of breathtaking freshness and flavor.Murata: Startlingly fresh, Alton Brown-approved sashimi.Southpark: Big, simple cuts of grilled fish. What more do you want?Puerto Marquez: Why cook your shrimp when there are limes around?

FIVE APHRODISIAC DINNERSAlberta Street Oyster Bar & Grill: Look closely at an oyster. Do you feel lusty?Beast: Owner Naomi Pomeroy’s infamous pig-hugging ad campaign is true food porn.Carlyle: Meet me under the west end of the Fremont Bridge. Come alone.Lovely Hula Hands: Nab a table upstairs and you will get laid.Siam Society: Slippery noodles are pure sex.

FIVE PORTLAND STALWARTSBijou Cafe: We think this downtown favorite has been serving scrambles since the dawn of time.Higgins: When Higgins opened in 1994, the farmers market was having trouble finding vendors. Jake’s Famous Crawfish: You’ve got to respect a joint that’s been open since 1892.Restaurant Murata: When Murata opened its doors in 1960, it blew Portlanders’ minds. It still does.Ringside: Celebrating meaty nostalgia since 1944.

FIVE FARM-FRESH MENUS50 Plates: Co-owner Ginger Rapport manages the Beaverton Farmers Market.The Farm Cafe: Well, you know...it’s in the name.Meriwether’s: The restaurant owns its own five-acre farm at the top of Skyline Drive.Navarre: 47th Avenue Farm!Lovely Hula Hands: Their CSA supplies many other fine restaurants, but the food tastes fresher here.

FIVE WONDERFUL WAITSTAFFSBanh Cuon Tan Dinh: They’ll treat you like family and you’ll have leftovers for days.Genoa: Ever wonder what it’s like to have a manservant? Now you know.Higgins: The gold standard. Knowledgeable and friendly, but they’ll never try to give you a shoulder rub.Lauro Kitchen: See Higgins, above, but they might touch you. And you’ll like it.Paley’s Place: They do the crumb-scraping thing. We love that.

FIVE GROUP TABLES WORTH SHARINGBeast: Worship the pig with your fellow believers on Clarklewis’ original “weapons of ass destruction.”Clyde Common: Choose your next course from your neighbors’ plate.Ken’s Artisan Pizza: It makes the wait shorter. ’Nuff said.Le Pigeon: If it was good enough for Jesus....Simpatica Dining Hall: Overheard: “You have a biodynamic garden in your driveway? So do I!!!”

FIVE LINES WORTH THE WAITLe Pigeon: Sitting on the bench outside will just make the bacon fat taste better.Whiskey Soda Lounge: The fish-sauce-wings wait is mitigated by the de facto bar at Matchbox Lounge.Kenny & Zuke’s: Remember, pastrami-lovers—good things come to those who wait.Ken’s Artisan Pizza: It will be 45-60 minutes, no question. But the pies makes you forget all about it.Lovely Hula Hands: Repeat after me: Pink is a calming color. Pink is a calming color. Pink...

FIVE DRESS-UP DINNERSBluehour: Those 15-foot olive silk-and-metal drapes are fancier than any dress you own.El Gaucho: You’re about to spend $58 on a 12-ounce filet mignon. Have some respect.Higgins: Impeccable yet warm service makes you feel like a million bucks. Look like it, too.Lucier: No, there’s not a dress code. But you do have to be rich to get in the door. We kid!Morton’s: You’re not going to a restaurant. You’re going to the meat theater.

FIVE BIG-ASS BEER LISTSApizza Scholls: Were you planning to drink chablis with your pizza?Nutshell: Is beer vegan? Are yeast animals? Deep thoughts, son.Higgins: The only thing more awe-inspiring than the charcuterie is the bottle list.Victory: A European vacation, complete with beverages and propaganda-printed drapes.Green Dragon: The food’s only average, but the constantly changing tap list is the best in town.

FIVE FLAWLESS WINE LISTSKir: Everything’s coming up rosés.Lucier: If they can find it, anyway. It takes time to look through 18,000 bottles.Navarre: Can’t decide? Owner/chef John Taboada is liable to come out of the kitchen and choose for you.Noble Rot: Chilean reds, Spanish Albariño, home-grown pinots—there’s a flight with your name on it.Ten 01: Erica Landon and her hardbound wine list mean business, bitches!

FIVE BADASS BURGERSHiggins: The original “broiled, freshly ground and spiced sirloin” is still one of the best.Clyde Common: Something this juicy should be illegal.Lauro Kitchen: A hefty patty with aioli, dry-aged Jack and a heap of frites.Lovely Hula Hands: Feeling aggressive? This burger’s impaled on a steak knife. It’s killer.YAKUZA: Kobe, chèvre, greens and a pile of chips. Requires two hands.

FIVE NEIGHBORHOOD JOINTSBanh Cuon Tan Dinh: Do you need another excuse to go to Fubonn?Cava: The only place you can eat lamb merguez and hanger steak in Foster-Powell.Piazza Italia: Tennis ball-sized meat balls and UEFA soccer on the big screen.Tabla: Y’know, these guys had a restaurant before Ten 01, and it’s still amazing.Alba Osteria: Come on, it’s somebody’s neighborhood. Make the trek.