Tim Hortons announces partnership with NB government — jobs to be won

New Brunswick — The Government of New Brunswick has announced a temporary partnership with Tim Hortons that will see the province give away jobs as part of the current “Roll up the Rim to Win” contest.

“New Brunswick is pretty well synonymous with Tim Hortons, so this partnership makes perfect sense,” suggested Minister of Economic Development Rick Doucet. “Jobs right now are pretty scarce, and it’s just not fair to give a job to one person over another simply because they’re more qualified. This adds some fun, and it evens out the playing-field.”

When asked what jobs were being added to the list of potential prizes, Doucet said that no posts are out of reach. “Basically all of the jobs that are available on our website are up for grabs.”

The rules stipulate that if you win one of the jobs available, your prize can be transferred to someone else if you already have a job, or if you simply aren’t interested in the job you’ve won. “That means that if I won the job, I could hold interviews of my own if I wanted to give it away,” elaborated Doucet. “It’ll give regular people the chance to play ‘Mr. Manager’ or something like that — it’ll be loads of fun.”

Reactions were mixed from the public about the new prizes coming available at their favourite coffee-shop. “I’d rather win the car or some money,” expressed an unemployed Martin Klein of Doaktown. “Then I wouldn’t need a job. If I got a car I’d be able to sell it for a few grand — I’d be set.”

“This is fantastic!” cheered a lively Sara Appleton of Ripples. “I really don’t have a lot to offer potential employers. I have an attitude problem, I’m not very bright, I have very little motivation and I call in sick all the time, so it’s really hard for me to get a job. This is like an answer to my prayers.”

Tims has announced that it will be extending the contest by a month to give the province time to get the jobs printed onto coffee cups. The company has expressed excitement over this budding new partnership. “This program has great potential,” read an excerpt from a statement released Monday morning. “This initiative could open up a huge number of new prizes to the people of New Brunswick and it adds a whole new dimension to the game itself.”

The new cups should be arriving province-wide within 2 weeks, when coffee-shop patrons will have the chance at scoring a new job with their double-double.

For those of us that do not frequent “Tim Horton’s” this is quite discriminatory.
Yes I would like one of those peach government positions but anytime I get close to a Tim Horton’s all I hear is dueling banjos playing.
Perhaps the government should dole out jobs with a draw similar to the way moose licences are awarded.

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