If we’re lucky, though, maybe it’s limited to the Bay Area. San Francisco-based website SFist recently spoke to a lice treatment service called Nitless Noggins, who have reported an uptick in lice cases among older teens and college students. Says Nitless Noggins’ Marcy McQuillan, “I’ve seen a huge increase of lice in teens this year. Typically it’s younger children I treat, because they’re at higher risk for head-to-head contact. But now, teens are sticking their heads together every day to take cell phone pics.”

Huh. That’s… actually a pretty convincing argument. She goes on to not only pin the epidemic on selfies, but to also caution against selfie addiction: “Every teen I’ve treated, I ask about selfies, and they admit that they are taking them every day,” she notes. “I think parents need to be aware, and teenagers need to be aware, too. Selfies are fun, but the consequences are real.”

You hear that, kids? That sorority was right! Just say no to selfies! Once you’ve become addicted, who knows to what lows you might stoop? Selfies at Funerals? Selfies With Homeless People? Only you can prevent selfies!