Larry Da Junkman – Where The Fuck Is My Bobble Head

I got a Visa and a passport to cross from Brooklyn to Manhattan in order to go see about work in the television.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that the shows “Pawn Stars” and “American Pickers” had a pop up store at 1501 Broadway.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

This was awesome news for me, for now I was sure that one day soon, there would be a bobble head of me, just like there is of Chumlee… I would prefer bowling pins of me, with a big bowling ball of my wife striking me down. But certainly, a whole series of Junkman bobbleheads will one day be coming to a pop up store near you!

Now, I’ve come to the realization that the only thing left for me to do in this dinosaur business that I am in, is to have a successful television show. Whereas, the Pawn Stars show and the American Pickers show, reveal how they are great businessmen making money and seeing lots of great items.

I see shit most everywhere I go. So, I have to buy shit and then try to sell shit and so the success of my show will be that Americans mostly feel like shit and they will be able to identify with me and my life and the shit that I am buying and selling

Of course, when I do see something of intrinsic value, I really never know what that value really is and I have lost big time over the years. Either I passed on the item or bought it and then passed out when I found out that I lost money on the deal

By the way…

Where the fuck Picasso’s are coming out of Vegas is beyond me. I mean sure I understand that there is a lot of money there, but pawn shops are more about people yanking their gold teeth out of their head with pliers and selling them so that they can get back to the Casino’s to gamble… (Now that would actually be a show that I would watch,)It is a shame that “Pawn Stars,” don’t reveal the underbelly of Vegas. That would be a cool story, I could stand by

So, what am I saying here tonight? The junk business is great if it’s on a television show and has its own merchandising. It’s a lot more difficult for the small potato who has to pay the bills and does not have a bobblehead… I mean all junkmen become bobble heads with googily eyes, you just haven’t seen the real deal yet, on any of these shows.

Fugazi might be a good name for my show and would make an excellent coffee mug to hang on the christmas tree

I gotta go, I’m stupid tired. I actually went into Manhattan today, they let me in, and then… they let me go