Van Bibber and Others eBook

“Anything you want, except to wear ’em,”
said Mr. Burke, feebly, with a grin.

* * * *
*

One hour later Miss Casey was standing up with Mr.
Patsy Moffat for the grand march of the grand ball
of the Jolly Fellows’ Pleasure Club of the Fourteenth
Ward, held at the Palace Garden. The band was
just starting the “Boulanger March,” and
Mr. Moffat was saying wittily that it was warm enough
to eat ice, when Mr. Hefty Burke shouldered in between
him and Miss Casey. He was dressed in his best
suit of clothes, and his hair was conspicuously damp.

“Excuse me, Patsy,” said Mr. Burke, as
he took Miss Casey’s arm, in his, “but
this march is promised to me. I’m sorry
I was late, and I’m sorry to disappoint you;
but you’re like the lad that drives the hansom
cab, see?—­you’re not in it.”

“I know,” assented Hefty, gloomily, “but
I came as soon as I could. I even went widout
me supper so’s to get here; an’ they wuz
expectin’ me to stay to supper, too.”

HOW HEFTY BURKE GOT EVEN

Hefty Burke was once clubbed by a policeman named
McCluire, who excused the clubbing to his Honor by
swearing that Hefty had been drunk and disorderly,
which was not true. Hefty got away from the Island
by swimming the East River, and swore to get even with
the policeman. This story tells how he got even.

Mr. Carstairs was an artist who had made his first
great success by painting figures and landscapes in
Brittany. He had a studio at Fifty-eighth Street
and Sixth Avenue, and was engaged on an historical
subject in which there were three figures. One
was a knight in full armor, and the other was a Moor,
and the third was the figure of a woman. The
suit of armor had been purchased by Mr. Carstairs in
Paris, and was believed to have been worn by a brave
nobleman, one of whose extravagant descendants had
sold everything belonging to his family in order to
get money with which to play baccarat. Carstairs
was at the sale and paid a large price for the suit
of armor which the Marquis de Neuville had worn, and
set it up in a corner of his studio. It was in
eight or a dozen pieces, and quite heavy, but was wonderfully
carved and inlaid with silver, and there were dents
on it that showed where a Saracen’s scimetar
had been dulled and many a brave knight’s spear
had struck. Mr. Carstairs had paid so much for
it that he thought he ought to make a better use of
it, if possible, than simply to keep it dusted and
show it off to his friends. So he began this historical
picture, and engaged Hefty Burke to pose as the knight
and wear the armor. Hefty’s features were
not exactly the sort of features you would imagine
a Marquis de Neuville would have; but as his visor
was down in the picture, it did not make much material
difference; and as his figure was superb, he answered
very well. Hefty drove an ice-wagon during business
hours, and, as a personal favor to Mr. Carstairs,
agreed to pose for him, for a consideration, two afternoons
of each week, and to sleep in the studio at night,
for it was filled with valuable things.