Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.

Veronica Corningstone: No, there’s no way that’s correct.

Ron Burgundy: I’m sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don’t know what it means. I’ll be honest, I don’t think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.

This is a thread about Mauritius and maybe strayed a bit with the best dive sites and here you go apropo of absolutely fucking nothing to tell us about this year's holiday in America which:

A is of no help to this thread,

and

B we all know already as you never fucking go anywhere else.

It's about as helpful as me saying my new sofa gets delivered today.

Anyway, having established that you are a boring cunt (with all due respect and all that) have you seen 'The Florida Project' yet? I thought of you when I watched it. I think it's right up your street. It's about little kids who live in the hinterland around Disneyland in garishly painted short-stay accommodation. Some great acting by the little girl who plays the lead and I bet the ending has your bottom lip wobbling. Mine was. Anyway, watch it and thank me later.

We (2) went in 2011 for a week at the (now) Mauricia Beachcomber. All inclusive. Great place to go for a complete rest. However, the hotel beach was mainly 2 inches of sand before you hit concrete! Next to the water was fine obviously but it was made to look a lot more natural than it really was. It did have some nightlife in the hotel though which was decent. Short walk into Grand Baie as well which made a break from the sunloungers and swimming pools.

Excursions

- Do NOT do the submarine. Yeah you see a sunken Japanese trawler, but you will see more marine life watching an spins ode of Stingray. The walking tours on the seabed poked interesting though as did the underwater scooters. Loads of that on YouTube.

- Do go to the botanical gardens. Sounds shit but we found it really interesting. The gates are from the original Crystal Palace, and have you ever seen a camphor tree? They've got some giant or toilets there too although I think there are probably better places to see them.

- Port Louis worth a look, although the local market there which was recommended was mainly just a stinking hole. Reminded me of Queens Market on a Saturday. Nice new waterfront area though.

- They make a lot of big name polo shirts and stuff there and cheaper than UK too, but I'm not convinced the area the taxi driver took us to had the genuine Fred Perrys etc so be careful.