Also:

Since MY grandparents became grandparents of the human baby, they keep mixing up our names, and our names aren’t even close to sounding alike. I am insulted. I’m much prettier, and I was here first. How do I get them to cut it out?

The Princess

Dear Princess,

Princess?? Hmm, I’m sure this isn’t an ego thing at all, huh?

Time to face facts, Ms. P: We dogs drop some status once those weird, little squealing human babies pop on the scene. But this doesn’t have to be a bad thing! Any and all situations can be harnessed for good. And by good, I mean TREATS!!!

Here’s what you do: The next time they call you or the kid, answer for both. There’s a good chance there will be food, hugs, or, even better, a car ride on the other side of that call.

Here’s an insider tip, though: If you hear them calling that human kid by its first AND middle names, run and hide, P-dog, ’cause that’s never a good sign and your nemesis is in trrrroooooouuuuubbbbblllle!