How to throw a party for a bunch of global nomads

One year has passed since our first random nomad, Anita McKay, crashed through the gates of The Displaced Nation, bribing the guards with chicken tikka masala and cranachan and shouting “bollocks” at several of us who tried to stop and question her.

And now there are 40 such nomads within our ranks — the latest being Annabel Kantaria, who insisted on bringing an alarm clock that looks like a miniature mosque — it rings every morning with the call to prayer. (Note to other founders: perhaps we need to find guards who aren’t so easily intimidated when travelers show a bit of temerity…)

Still, as we now have 40 nomads, randomly selected, why not make the best of the situation and throw a party? And what better excuse than The Displaced Nation’s 1st birthday — which, as announced by Kate Allison in a post a couple of days ago, took place on April 1 (no fooling!).

Further to that end, I’ve come up with a Party Primer that I think should work for this group — as well as for similar gatherings.

INVITATIONS

As this party marks a special occasion (who ever thought we’d make it to be one year old?), a deluxe printed invitation is in order. The only thing is, our invitees are a bunch of nomads! We’ll be lucky if we can catch them on email, let alone at a fixed address. Let’s compromise on an attractively designed message: see mock-up at top of this page.

DRESS CODE

As some of you may know, Cleopatra recently paid a visit to The Displaced Nation. Based on her observations of today’s international travelers, we’ll be doing well if we can get the men to shower and change before joining us. As for the women, well, allow me to offer these pearls of wisdom from Jennifer Scott — the American guru of Parisian chic who was featured on this blog last week. Jennifer says:

There are certain occasions that always warrant dressing up. Generally any gathering … where others went to a lot of effort for your sake.

DECORATIONS

The theme is easy: the wide wide world! (Rather the opposite of Disney’s “It’s a small world after all” concept.) This calls for tablecloths imprinted with the world map (to make it easy for guests to point out where exactly “Moldova” etc is); globe-patterned balloons (can we coin a new term: globalloons?); and for the centerpieces, flags from each of the adopted country represented at the table in question.

Optional extras include party hats, noisemakers and loot bags. It’s fun when the loot contains some surprises. Given all the items our nomads have insisted upon carrying into The Displaced Nation, we should have plenty to choose from, eg:

mosque alarm clocks (thanks, Annabel!)

hairy coo fluffy toys (thanks, Nerissa!)

fake Harry Potter glasses (thanks, Charlotte!)

boomerangs (thanks, Kim & Vicki!)

brie bakers (thanks, Toni!)

MUSIC

As Todd Lyon, author of a number of party and lifestyle books, puts it:

Without music, a party isn’t a party. It might be an assembly, a meeting, or a bee, but it can never be a shindig, a bust-up or a ball unless there’s fine tunes that never stop.

Not being a party tunes buff myself, I’ve consulted with The Displaced Nation’s resident music expert, Kate Allison, about the kind of soundtrack that would cultivate just the right ambience. Her suggestions include:

“Rockin’ All Over the World,” version by Status Quo. Actually a John Fogerty song but Quo and Springsteen both recorded it. Quo opened Live Aid with it.

Everybody all around the world, gotta tell you what I just heard
There’s gonna be a party all over the world…

TABLE ASSIGNMENTS

8-10 person tables work well. Since we’ll have 40 guests, I’ve decided on five tables of eight people each, and to mix everyone up as much as possible. Hostesses must also, of course, take steps to reduce the risk of a “silent table,” where people just eat and don’t talk. To be honest, I don’t there is too much risk of that with this crowd — have you ever watched a bunch of expats try to outdo each other with stories of their (cross-cultural, linguistic and travel) adventures? But just in case, I’m offering some “hostess notes” for each table (the hostess’s job being to introduce everyone and make sure the conversation keeps flowing!).

TABLE 1Matthew Chozick (American expat in Japan)Tom Frost (American expat in China)Lyn Fuchs (American expat in Mexico — Sacred Ground Travel Magazine)Turner Jansen (American canine in Holland)Annabel Kantaria (English expat in Dubai — Telegraph Expat blog)Kirsty Rice (Australian expat in Qatar — 4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle)Jack Scott (English expat in Turkey — Perking the Pansies)Karen van der Zee (Dutch/American expat in Moldova — Life in the Expat Lane)Hostess notes: Introduce Tom Frost to Matthew Chozick — Tom used to live in Japan and speaks Japanese. Kirsty Rice should sit next to Turner Jansen, as she travels around with a beagle. Annabel Kantaria, Jack Scott and Kirsty all have in common life in the Middle East. Karen van der Zee and and Lyn Fuchs should find each other fascinating, as both have had some extraordinary adventures (Karen could entertain Lyn with her crocodile tale and Lyn, keep Karen amused talking about the time he went paddling with orcas.)

TABLE 2Balaka Basu (Indian American in New York City)Santi Dharmaputra (Indonesian expat in Australia)Michelle Garrett (American expat in UK — The American Resident)Robin Graham (Irish expat in Spain — a lot of wind)Anita McKay (Indonesian expat in Australia — Finally Woken)Brian Peter (Scottish expat in Brazil — A Kilt and a Camera)Kate Reuterswärd (American expat in Sweden — Transatlantic Sketches)Wendy Tokunaga (Former American expat in Japan)Hostess notes: You might want to break up Santi Dharmaputra and Anita McKay, who are the same nationality (Indonesian) and already friends. Anita should definitely be introduced to Brian Peter, who like her hubby, is Scottish, and will probably be amused by her stories of toasting oatmeal in whisky. And make sure Anita also talks to Wendy Tokunaga — I know from personal experience how intrigued Anita is by stories of Western woman marrying Asian men. To be honest, everyone at this table should really be socializing with everyone else, as each and every one of them has a partner of a different nationality! (Now if that isn’t a talking point, I don’t know what is…)

TABLE 3Kim Andreasson (Swedish expat in Vietnam)Jo Gan (American expat in China– Life behind the wall)Jennifer Greco (American expat in France — Chez Loulou)David Hagerman (American expat in Malaysia — SkyBlueSky)Helena Halme (Finnish expat in UK — Helena’s London Life)Vicki Jeffels (Kiwi expat in UK — Vegemite Vix)Janet Newenham (Irish internationalist — Journalist on the run)Adria Schmidt (former Peace Corps worker in the Dominican Republic)Hostess notes: Seat David Hagerman next to Jennifer Greco — since his wife is a well-known food writer and expert cook, he’ll find nothing strange in her quest to sample all the known French cheeses. Janet Newenham should be near Adria Schmidt and Kim Andreasson as they are all interested in international affairs. Vicki should be introduced to Helena as I’m sure the latter would love to hear about her recent spa experience in Cyprus. Jo Gan, too, should meet Vicki as she is now experiencing visa problems with the Chinese authorities — on a level that may even surpass Vicki’s own nightmare experience in Britain.

TABLE 4Aaron Ausland (American expat in Colombia — Staying for Tea)Emily Cannell (American expat in Japan — Hey from Japan)Charlotte Day (Australian expat in UK)Toni Hargis (English expat in USA — Expat Mum)Vilma Ilic (Former aid worker in Uganda)Jennifer Lentfer (Former American expat in Africa — How Matters)Camden Luxford (Australian expat in Argentina — The Brink of Something Else)Piglet in Portugal (English expat in Portugal — Piglet in Portugal)Hostess notes: Aaron Ausland will naturally gravitate towards Jennifer Lentfer as they are both deeply involved in global aid and development. Make sure you introduce the pair of them to Piglet in Portugal — she’ll ask them some thought-provoking questions about whether it’s better to save the world or cultivate your own garden. Jennifer should also be near Vilma as the two will want to share their Africa experiences, and you might urge Emily Cannell to join that conversation as well — she has such an adventuresome spirit! Along with Toni Hargis, who runs her own charity supporting a school in Ghana. As for Camden Luxford, she’s an easy one: a social butterfly! Perhaps she could take fellow Aussie Charlotte Day under her wing (ha ha) and make sure she gets plenty of material to write about for her courses at Oxford next year!

TABLE 5Lei Lei Clavey (Australian expat in New York City)Matt Collin (American expat in UK)Megan Farrell (American expat in Brazil — Born Again Brazilian)Liv Hambrett (Australian expat in Germany — A Big Life)Mardi Michels (Australian expat in Canada — eat. live. travel. write | culinary adventures, near and far)Iain Mallory (English adventurer — Mallory on Travel | Making Everyday an Adventure)Nerissa Muijs (Australian expat in Holland — Adventures in Integration)Simon Wheeler (English expat in Slovakia — Rambling Thoughts of Moon)Hostess notes: As soon as Lei Lei Clavey, Liv Hambrett, Mardi Michels and Nerissa Muijs discover they all have Australia in common, they will be blabbing away — just hope it doesn’t turn into an Ozfest! Also, make sure Mardi connects with Matt — I suspect he may need her counseling about how to seek creative refuge from academia. Iain Mallory and Simon Wheeler will form a natural pair, exchanging stories of their travel adventures and perhaps even breaking into a rousing chorus of “Jerusalem.” But should their antics get too raucous, ask Mardi to step in: she teaches cooking classes to 9-11-year-old boys in Canada. Megan Farrell should connect with Nerissa and Simon on the topic of what it’s like to raise a child in a nationality (and language) other than your own.

FOOD

One of the purposes of gathering together nomads from the four corners of the earth has to be eating, especially if each of them brings along some of their favorite dishes. For our party, we will have a dazzling tableaux brimming over with rare and exotic foods. (We know that because our Random Nomads have already described their faves to us in their interviews.)

Shall we go over the list? (Warning: Don’t read on an empty stomach, or if on a restricted diet!)

NOTE: Charlotte Day will be cooking a Sydney-style breakfast for diehards who care to linger to the next morning. (And Nerissa Muijs will be frying up some bacon!)

TOPICS FOR SMALL TALK

There are some topics that should be avoided at all costs. As style writer Rita Konig puts it,

It is very dull to talk about journeys. Once you have arrived somewhere, try to keep quiet about how long it took you to get there.

Should you notice anyone engaging in this, put the kibosh on it by asking them to help with pouring drinks, or with putting away coats in the spare room.

PHOTOGRAPHY

Fortunately, there’s usually one great photographer or two in a group of global nomads, thereby saving unnecessary expenditure. (We will ask David Hagerman — he’s sensational!)

GAMES

Games are a great ice breaker. Here are a few that might be appropriate for a well-traveled crowd:1) Musical countries: Draw a big map on a piece of vinyl (back of a Twister mat might do), and give everyone a flagpole. When the music stops, they must place the flagpole on a country, Anyone whose flagpole ends up in the ocean is out.

2) Variation on “Pin the Donkey”: Pin the rudder on the 747! (Contributed by Kate Allison.)

3) Word games: As we’ve found out from our interviews, global nomads pick up words and expressions from here and there. Taking some of these and mixing them together, we can come up with some pretty strange exchanges. (Prizes for anyone who manages to decipher!)

A: Prego, could you get me a ba ba ba? Kippis!
B: Inshallah, a barbie would also be awesome. And how about la ziq?
A: Avustralyalılaştıramadıklarımızdanmışsınızcasına.
B: So desu ne!

A: Tudo bem? You look a bit daggy.
B: Life can be arbit sometimes.
A: Zvakaoma.

A: Hey.
B: Hey. Das stimmt, sorry to be such a Debbie Downer but I’m knackered after all this work.
A: Bless!
B: Zikomo.

TOASTS

Toasts should be made repeatedly throughout the latter half of the dinner. Just in case no one feels inspired, prepare one or two classics for the host or hostess to offer, eg:

I’d rather be with all of you than with the finest people in the world.

SONGS

Songs can be sung in several languages. In this case, a stirring rendition of “Happy Birthday” is called for, sung not only in English but in:Dutch (Karen, Nerissa)Finnish (Helena)French (Jennifer, Mardi)Indonesian (Anita & Santi)Japanese (Emily, Matthew, Tom, Wendy)Spanish (Aaron, Adria, Camden, Lyn, Megan, Robin)Swedish (Kate, Kim)Woof-woof (Turner)

Finally, the party should end with the Displaced Nation founders treating the guests to a round of:

For you are all jolly good fellows, for you are all jolly good fellows,
For you are all jolly good fellows…Kate, Anthony, Tony: And so say all of us!ML: Which nobody can deny!

* * *
Have I left out any important details? Any tweaks you can suggest? Your turn!!! Let’s work together to make this the most awesome gathering of global nomads ever. Onegaishimasu, shokran — and all that!

STAY TUNED for tomorrow’s installment from our displaced fictional heroine, Libby. She is expecting a visitor: her own mother, who is — in theory — coming to help as her due date gets closer. Will Granny Jane be an improvement on Sandra, the MIL from hell — or will she prove to be one more spanner in the works for our poor displaced heroine? (What, not keeping up with Libby? Read the first three episodes of her expat adventures.)

@ Expatlogue
Pajamas, eh? Not sure our style guru would approve (see “dress code” above). That said, I understand that PJ dressing is all the rage with the fashionable set, so chances are, you’ll pass muster. 🙂 And does that mean we can put you down for the Sydney breakfast?

@Camden
Wonderful news, especially as we were already relying on you for the ceviche, the Malbec wine and the Cusqueña beer. Oh, and you could also lend a hand in taking Charlotte Day, the brilliant young Aussie at your table, under your metaphorical wing. (Are we right in ascertaining that you’re something of a social butterfly?) 🙂

Fabulous post, ML! A party I would definitely like to crash! And I can bring my own seating in the form of a Turkish “puff” or ottoman. How about adding “Dancing in the Streets” by Martha and the Vandells to the sound track? It’s starts “Everybody around the world are you ready for a brand new beat?” You could switch out the U.S. cities for other cities where the nomads live. Love the global languages word game. A suggestion: Will you providing goody-bags? If so, what would go in them? My vote goes to one of those call to prayer/mosque alarm clocks!

Thanks, Justine! I’m glad my post has put you in a global party mood! And I think you’re right to call for “Dancing in the Streets” — both the song and the dancing! (I forgot to add dancing to the above — shame on me!)

And yes, goody-bags for sure. Did you see the list I made under “Decorations”? I quite agree, I’d be hunting for the bag with the mosque clock — much rather have that than a boomerang! 🙂

Are you getting THE DISPLACED DISPATCH?

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER for THE DISPLACED DISPATCH. It’s delivered to your inbox and features:
* new works by expats or other international creatives;
* debate-worthy topics in the expat realm;
* surprising discoveries expats have made; &
* a couple of the latest Displaced Nation posts.SIGN UP NOW. (On temporary hiatus; next issue to appear in Spring 2018)

FOR, BY & ABOUT DISPLACED CREATIVES
We have interviewed many displaced creatives: memoirists, novelists, entrepreneurs & artists of various kinds. Check out the collection for possible soulmates!

About The Displaced Nation

The founders of The Displaced Nation share a passion for what we call the "displaced life" of global residency and travel—particularly when it leads to creative pursuits, be it writing, art, food, business or even humo(u)r.