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We start with the groping and it all goes down hill from there. ‘Denny is like a cute ass homing beacon’. He sees the girl. He zooms in. He gropes the girl.

Amazingly she doesn’t fall for his charms (or hit him). She wants the tall cute one. Not the fat short one. It’s death penalty time again. Groppable chick is a Virginian lawyer who wants someone who knows where his herd of mad cow is, i.e. She wants Carl Sack. She has a murder that happened at an execution. Carl takes the case. Denny tags along to provide much needed humor and a few gropes.

I remember my little dog of many years dying in my arms. She was given an injection. She died peacefully, with a quirky smile on her face and her tongue lolling out. Then we buried her under the Mango tree. If vets can do it right, how do you botch up an execution to the point where one of the guards has to pull out a gun and pop the dying guy one in the head?

The problem is that Hippocratic Oath ‘first do no harm’ thing. This idea a bit at odds with killing somebody, so doctors don’t like to do it. But Jim who gets paid $17.50 an hour and his last job was at Super Save will do it because he needs the money. He also can’t find the vein and a lot of executions get botched. That’s why, after thirty minutes of suffering, shaking and seizing the guard took matters into his own conscience and took out the prisoner with a shot to the head, killing him instantly.

Virginia takes their law very seriously and decide killing a guy already dying is wrong so the guard is going to be tried for murdering a dying guy.

Carl says this stupid and it all gets a bit heated in the courtroom, but Denny puts a stop to it by firing a gun into the ceiling.

‘Blanks, what’s his problem,’ cries Denny from behind bars.

Carl is not impressed and leaves him in prison.

Back to the politics

Meanwhile Alan is on his political horse – but for the other side. Some chick thinks she was fired for voting for McCain. Actually she was fired for finding the most attractive ‘thang’ about the Republican campaign was that Sarah Palin was ‘spunky’ and her boss, who also voted for McCain, found that just screams ‘stupid’. He’s all for voting for McCain’s approach to nuclear energy and the environment, but he doesn’t think a presidential election should be decided on the color of a candidate’s pant trouser suit. The boss may be a little irritating git, but he does have a point.

Alan ropes in Shirley. She is not happy defending a woman who voted for John McCain. Those dang Democrats and their fanagaly ways.

Shirley does have a point. The chick is not the best folded pair of socks in the sock drawer. She can’t name any reasons why she voted for McCain except for Sarah’s ‘spunk’ – is anyone else getting the double meaning implied here? She has no idea on McCain’s energy policies, his environmental policies, or any of his policies. You get the feeling she would have voted for Joe the Plumber.

The (pseudo) balcony scene

It’s Shirley standing in for Denny tonight. Alan says he will miss Sarah’s down homeliness and moose murdering, but that this election was special because it redrew what it means to be an American. There is no American stereotype – check out Barack. As Barack admits, he’s a ‘mutt’, but he’s an American mutt. He’s also the President of the United States.

With the politics out of the way it’s onto the sex. Alan is giving Shirley lustful eyes. Shirley can’t quite believe it, but Alan is persistent and honest… who knew honesty would work guys: Shirley is tempted. BUT! And this is a big but – Alan has to run this by Denny.

Back to the excitement

The case isn’t working out, especially when Shirley tells Chick she really does think she’s an idiot to her face. Alan is a little more tactful, but you can tell he agrees. Those dang Democrats and their issues!

Alan does a very good job defending the chick, inserts Joe Biden jokes, and says Americans can vote for anyway then can, even if they if are stupid and their reasons are stupid. He loses. Maybe Sarah Palin’s $150 thousand dollar wardrobe does count for something.

Meanwhile in Virginia we are arguing the point when an execution turns into torture. Carl is not an execution man, but over a glass of scotch Denny wakes up and tells him it’s all about the ‘kill baby kill’. He says Americans are all for this killing thing so run with the bloodlust. Personally I’m with Carl. The guy was going to die anyway – what’s all the fuss?

But Carl plays the bloodlust card and the guard, who stopped a dying man’s suffering, goes free. True to form, Denny then gropes the lawyer chick.

The real balcony scene

No substitutes this time. It’s Alan and Denny. Alan tries very delicately to rationalize to Denny why he should have it off with Shirley.

He loses.

But then Denny has an idea and we are left with the image of Alan, Denny, Sarah Palin and Shirley all in bed together so… I’ll leave you there.