I love these people! They’re all about being prepared. Their product information reads:

One pair of Emergency Underpants is great, but what if, um, you like, uh, have another emergency? Don’t fret, we’ve got you covered. These 4″ (10.2 cm) tall boxes look a lot like tissue boxes, but instead of tissues they dispense underpants.

[Oh my God, I am dying over here…]

If you want to be extra safe you should keep one by your bedside, one at work and one in the car. Each box contains five pairs of disposable unisex underpants that will fit most adults.

Note: My husband is going to be doing his Disaster Recovery Happy Dance when he finds out about these. Wowzers!

52 Responses to The Undie Chronicles, Volume 10: Emergency Underpants

Hey, you laugh now, whippersnapper – save this blog – someday you may need those things!
OMG, MYTYG Hand Sanitizer?! I don’t think I want to meet the person who thought THAT up!
Mondays are never boring with More Cowbell around. Thanks, Jenny

LMAO. “but what if, um, you like, uh, have another emergency? Don’t fret, we’ve got you covered.” I don’t even want to know what would cause you to have another emergency. Maybe reading The Undie Chronicles soon after giving birth😀
And MYTYG Hand Sanitizer… I’m speechless. The things marketers come up with.

The hand sanitizer is beyond funny, and the canned unicorn meat is priceless (does it look like SPAM?)

But I’m going to have to get a box of the emergency underwear. The whole reason for me to get this box would be so I could gift it to somebody on my squad, where I know it would be placed PROUDLY on his desk. Then I am going to grab a melting Baby Ruth candy bar and cram it down under the first pair.

My hope is to get some kind of Caddyshack-esque result when he pulls out the first pair of undies. A little childish? Perhaps. But how often do you get a chance to scream “Doodie” while pointing at a a coworker holding a pair of soiled emergency undies?

Ha ha ha ha, that would be an amazing conversation started. That might also cut down on the number of people that stop by to see me. Nothing screams “don’t touch” like a bottle of Maybe You Touched Your Genitals hand sanitizer.

KA-SHNORT! on “it should be nearly empty, too, just to enhance the suggestion.”

Might I also suggest you keep your hands out of sight and seemingly busy [No, not there. Geesh. Take it to the showers.]…

Pick lint from your pant legs–near your knees. I think it would be an excellent Social Sciences survey to see how many people try to get a glimpse of what’s going on behind the cover of your desk. IYKWIM.

LMAO
That does it! I’m getting a bottle. Maybe a few. The fact that I walk around with a perpetual grin would only add to the whole scenario.

(holding a can of Coke in the office when somebody walks in….)
“Hi, would you mind holding this for a second?”
(hand off the Coke, grab a bottle of sanitizer, vigorously clean my hands, put the bottle where he can see it, and then take the Coke back)
“Thanks, now I can open my drink.”

OMG…OMG….I am buying some of these to have on display at the house, in the car and at work if for nothing else than the conversation piece that they are. And….the Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer….O.M.G!! THINK of the hilarity and FUN hubby and I could have WITH THAT out in public!!!!!

I can picture it now. Hubby comes out of the mall bathroom. There are ALWAYS people milling around here. I reach into my purse and loudly ask….”baby…do you need a squirt of the Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer…I know you didn’t go ‘no hands’ in there…”

ROFL!!

At the movies…”oh shoot…before I dig into my popcorn, could you pass me the ‘Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer’ so I can get a squirt….”

This was the first comment I read today and it just about made me fall off the potty. I can absolutely imagine the joy these two products will bring you and Hubby. If you write a post on it, I will promote it to the ENDS of the earth.🙂

That Hand Sanitizer deserves a spot on More Cowbell AND on Piper Bayard’s The End is Near…and We Deserve It. ROFL!

As to the emergency underpants, here’s where they lost me: “unisex underpants that will fit most adults.” Seriously, since when have our derrieres all been close enough to the same size to exchange underwear!!! One-size-fits-all undies does not breed confidence in the product! They at least need a S-M-L plan before I buy. (Also, having a line of these in black would be nice.) Hilarious stuff, Jenny. And kudos to August!

I know!!! Maybe she’s already found it and I missed it, but it’s just priceless.

I completely agree with you about the Undie sizing. I always tell my hubby, I coulda never married a man with a butt smaller than mine. Ergo, there shouldn’t be any possible way for us to wear the same underpants!

Okay. The Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer made me chuckle. That could be a good marketing ploy. Take plain old alcohol gel, make a snazzy label and charge $6.

The emergency underwear has me both amused and puzzled. There’s only one emergency I can think of: incontinence. If that’s a regular problem, the sufferer doesn’t need these. He or she needs Depends. But, if I had some sort of problem where I needed emergency underwear on a regular basis, I’d probably need the hand sanitizer, too. 😉

What a marvelous idea, August. Damn nosy guests!! I think, after all this election hooplah, the crowd is most lathered up about the idea of throwing underpants at our politicians. I can’t say I blame them!

I like the emergency underwear for those Bill Cosby “First you say it, then you do it” moments that seem to occur all too frequently while driving these days.Perhaps they could be accompanied by a portable restroom for changing.

Okay…so I KNOW I shouldn’t drink anything while reading your blog…especially with UNDIE in the title. I know this. But do I LISTEN to myself! Heck, no! Guess I love livin’ on the edge, LOL. It was close, but when I got to canned unicorn meat, well – it was all over. Just glad I didn’t get a lemon seed up my nose.🙂

Dang it! I would’ve loved to have had the genital hand sanitizer last Thursday. I totally would’ve offered it to my surgeon before he cut me open. Too freaking funny! Oh, and those undies would’ve come in handy with my gorgeous surgical gown as well. I’m getting some just for future use.

I know! I can put them in my son’s bathroom and remind his friends when they have a sleepover they’re there for *them*. Because, you know teenage boys don’t change their undies often enough! Awesome.

Tameri, you gave me an idea with your mention of doctors. (Hope all went well with the surgery, btw, and you’re well on-the-mend.)

During the annual exams? The only comment I’ve found honest and helpful to the Doc is the question about whether or not I’ve been doing regular breast exams. I deploy my truthful answer: “Yup! At a stop sign on my way over here. That’s my regular routine.”

OMG, the Undie Chronicles are back! Undieverse? Love it, Jenny. I don’t know why, but I feel like skipping around the house, singing, “Undieverse, undieverse, where is my Shut the Hell Up Gum? Squirt, squirt that sanitizer, squirt!”

Dying. Just dying with stifled laughter. Here I am, on a quick break from work, catching up with your blog. I made it through the post without too much difficulty, then made the mistake of reading comments. Dying, I tell you.😀

Holy Dooly that’s hilarious shit! If I had an emergency kit, would it really be complete without the disposable underpants?? I adore the laughter and lightheartedness you bring to my life. I could never have enough cowbell.

OK! First off, I’ve obviously been WAY too busy…If you are too busy to read Undie Chronicles…you’re just too damn busy!!!
Secondly, if I ever and I mean EVER, require an underwear dispenser in my car or at work…it will be a time to celebrate! The fun I’d have in traffic lobbing those disposable dirties out the car window…or yelling over the cubicle wall “Sorry guys! It’s just me I’ll change them in a minute…just on the phone right now!” LOL! Oh the “poo”-sibilities are endless and the mind screwing I’d be dishing out would be epic!!!
Thirdly, That MYTYG product is genious – because Natalie was right I would be coming out of the mall bathroom and her comment about using “no hands” would be so correct. My reply would have been “yeah you’re right! I was holding it with 4 fingers and pissing on 3….better give me a double squirt…pump away my beauty!” Then the mall people would all stop like a flash mob – and we’d have a new post for Natalie to blog about.