Philadelphia MFT

​Just say no. It seems like a simple premise, but again and again we find ourselves agreeing to things we do not want to do. Why do we have such a hard time saying no? Maybe we feel a sense of obligation, do not want to elicit a negative response from the person asking, or a number of other excuses we’ve made in the aftermath of agreeing to take on a task.

But one thing is for sure- sometimes, we just need to say no! In fact, it’s healthy to do so. Saying no is about creating and maintaining boundaries. When healthy boundaries are in place, we have the freedom to direct our energy towards the things we deem worthy of our time and energy, leading us to feel more fulfilled.

If you struggle with creating boundaries, here are some things to think about and try to implement:

When to say no

When someone asks you to do something, ask yourself if taking this task on will have a negative impact on your life. Negative impacts can be major, or even as slight as you don’t feel like it (your feelings are valid!). If the answer to this is yes, than your answer should be NO!

Practice makes perfect

Rehearse saying no. Start in the mirror where the pressure is off, and then move on to situations you know are easier to decline. Finally, work your way up to the confidence level you need for the big times.

Take pause

If you tend to say yes without thinking, try implementing a two-hour pause period to think it through. Tell the person asking that you will get back to them in a few hours, and really take that time to evaluate whether or not the decision will impact you negatively (refer to part 1- when to say no). ​