Sunday, June 19, 2011

New York Minute

New York is a fast paced city. If the rest of the world goes at a speed of 60 miles/hr, NYC speeds at all 300.

That was the reason I loved it in the first place. As soon as I stepped out of the bus at Columbia University campus 10 years ago, I knew we were meant to be. I felt that I’d found my place. With so many people and movement I never felt so blended in, so belonged yet so on my own. New York is that rare place where you may find yourself in a big whirl of action yet in a complete solitude. It’s hard to explain to those who never lived in the city.

Anyway there is a time oxymoron when it comes to NY. As fast as we are when it comes to every day life, we are extremely slow when it comes to relationships. The place where millions of dollars are traded on NYSE within seconds gets to a snail’s pace when it comes to investing in a relationship. Arranging a date is a big project that could take weeks or even months. Everyone is too busy to squeeze in some romance in a hectic life filled with jobs, commute, work out, etc.

I myself had been in this circle far too long to complain about others. Yet now that I finally decided to make a room for my personal life I feel somewhat frustrated. The reason being my speed in this area is the same 300 miles/hr but most people seem to be going at a snail’s pace still. I always felt that I was a little too fast in all areas of my life: work, plans, friends, partners. For some reason I just don’t like to drag things and like to get to the result asap. I am impatient to a core. As soon as I know what it is I want I am there as we say in a New York minute.

Believe me there were moments where I would take my time with moving forward in a relationship but I would always state it so there was no confusion and I would state it in a NY minute. I want to send my biggest apology to all the dates that didn’t happen because I just couldn’t find the time in my busy schedule. Sorry guys!! It was just bad timing.

And it’s not that I’ve slowed down, I still need the time for the gym to run my 15+ miles a week, time to write my blog, time to drink wine with my girl-friends and talk about “the weather”.. But I’m finally in a place where I don’t work 60-70 hours a week and am able to spend more on my personal life.

Therefore I am so amazed how other people can’t pick up the speed when it comes to dating. If I was able to once I realized I cared about it, why can’t they? Is it because they don’t care or simply because they can’t have such high speed in all areas of their lives?

The guy I dated for a couple of months after my last break up in December (refer to my blog about texting) was just not up to speed. I realize we met 2 years ago and it took us 2 years to finally start dating. But once we started and I knew I wanted you I didn’t need you to be patient. I am there and ready for action. Don’t give me 5pm or later, tomorrow or after tomorrow. Tell me it is now!! Make up your mind.

Maybe I am impatient and unreasonable (feel free to tell me) but I am just going in sync with my city. The place likes the speed and I am going along with it. In the end there is no other place that sets your priorities more straight. And from my own experience, there is always time for what it is that you focus on.