‘Teen Mom’ Amber Continues to Win at Life

When we last left Teen Mom star Amber Portwood at the beginning of the month, child services had just let her have her daughter Leah back which only further proved their mission statement is, “If it came out of your uterus, we’ll you give another chance to kill it.” Since then, she’s managed to fuck up in ways that most normal human beings could never achieve without being birthed a full-blood Cyrus:

1. Amber started dating a self-proclaimed MMA fighter named Clinton Yunker who was apparently arrested earlier this year for beating a man who talked to his 19-year-old baby mama that Clinton left home alone every night while he drank himself stupid. As of last week, she was begging for him to come back. On MySpace.

2. Amber was pulled over yesterday morning after the cops thought she was drunk only to find out she was also driving on a suspended license. She ducked the DUI charges after police actually believed she was “having a reaction to her medication.” *writes that one down*

3. And it’s just been reported Amber assaulted Gary Shirleyagain Tuesday night because, in her defense, he’s kind of a big dumb lummox and the child wasn’t there.

Of course, all of this would be run-of-the-mill white trash hilarity if there wasn’t a toddler involved who’s already a ward of the state and will most likely end up in a foster home. On that note, I can’t help but think, what if there was some way she could’ve been kept out of such a hopeless situation? Some sort of, I dunno, medical procedure that would’ve stopped all this from happening. Abort the whole incident, if you will. We should probably look into that.

You know, we could always stop looking at pictures of her, which would make the paparazzi stop trailing her in hopes to sell images of her, which would mean that the media would shift it’s focus from her, which, in turn, would put her back in the obscure, shitty lifestyle of which she seems oblivious she is a product and a perpetuator (new word alert), so we can go back to talking about people who at least have some merit or talent behind their fame and stop the vicious cycle of white trash nobodies doing awful things only to be rewarded with fame and money… Yeah! Let’s do it! Who’s with me?

You could take this one step further.If everyone stopped watching shit like the show,”Teen Mom”, that spawned this idiot’s celebrity, along with shows that gave us abominations like Spencer and Heidi,et al. from “The Hills”, then MTV would go back to programming music videos and the world would be a much better place without the “reality” TV crap it currently is producing.

So Fish, you wouldnt even give the kid a chance, you’d kill it right from the get-go, eh? Nice. At least in foster care the kid has a fighting chance, shithead. I realize this site is about being politically incorrect and all that bullshit but that pisses me off. Maybe your mom should have aborted you since all you amounted to in life is a blogger that makes unfunny jokes are other people’s expense.

Right, because you’re not allowed to have an opinion on a matter unless you’re personally involved in it? Good thing only people who live in Israel have an opinion on Palestine. Good thing only people currently in the military have an opinion on the war in Iraq. Douche.

Abort it, oh hahaha aint you the funny one. To bad your momma didnt look into that. Never mind the hundred others “choices” she had leading up to her getting knocked up. Much better to have killed it in the womb then to let her kill it after its born.

This is as sure a reason to support post-birth abortion as I could ever make up myself. This kid should never have been born. It’s never going to have a decent life. It’s just going to grow up neglected, hated, in poverty and spreading misery everywhere it goes. Trash rolls down hill, it’s just going to be generation after generation until someone breaks the chain.

And just to be clear, I’m talking about needing to abort Amber, not her baby.

No, I wasn’t thinking of abortion,
I really REALLY wish that the government made Vasectomies Free of charge, and in some cases mandatory,
Imagine if the Government gave 1000 dollars for you to get one, I know at least 67 percent of the readers of the superficial would do it, totally makes sense, I dont know why they dont
some people are not meant to have kids, some ass hole moron idiot people dont deserve to even live, but thats another subject, I think vasectomies and whatever the fuck they do to girls should be free

Hell yeahs, she should have stuck a wire coat hanger up there, but since she already shit it out, not much we can do but retroactively abort the mother, and then, maybe then, the poor kid will have a fighting chance. All you have to do is look at this white trash train wreck and you realize that abortion is a beautiful thing.

We can only pray that her new boyfriend will give her the Ryan Jenkins treatment.