The grass is greener where you water it

It’s been a crazy season filled with fun times, hard times and everything in between.

It’s been a season that’s required a lot of me emotionally and physically, and there doesn’t seem to be enough sleep or enough caffeine to keep me going. Anyone?

My days are filled to the brim. From grocery shopping to chores to writing to work, I go from one project to the next. I rarely just chill out. My mom keeps suggesting I pick up a hobby, something just for me. But honestly, I can’t come up with one.

I mean, who has time for a hobby? 😉

It seems my 5th and 6th grader need more help with homework lately. There are more nighttime events to attend. My husband and I are spending more time with our kids in the evening – a very intentional move on our part – but it often delays our bedtime because we have to finish our work once they go to sleep.

The problem is we haven’t much white space in our day.

We’re in high-demand in our jobs, in our parenting, in our lives. So many things are requiring our time and attention.

And you know what suffers because of it? The connection between me and my man.

Isn’t it easy to put our marriage on auto-pilot?

We think it’s the one place we can give less than our best because “he’ll understand.”

~ So we don’t connect over coffee and have adult conversations.

~ We share the events of our day in sound-bites.

~ Once we say goodnight to the kids, we go in opposite directions to do our thang.

~ And intimacy becomes a quick peck on the cheek as our heads hit the pillow.

Not. Good.

And honestly, it sneaks up on me. I certainly don’t plan to put my marriage on the back-burner. It’s not an intentional decision. I’m not looking to make my husband feel less important.

Truth is… I love my man. He’s not perfect, but he is pretty darn close. And I am so thankful he is mine.

So these times of disconnect make me sad.

God tells us the relationship between husband and wife is the most important earthly relationship we have. But so often, we don’t treat it that way.

How about you, friend?

How is your marriage right now? Are you connecting with your man? Does he feel like he matters? Are you loving him well? Where can you put more effort into your marriage?

Maybe you’re the one feeling ignored and cast aside.Does he know you’re feeling this way? Have you shared your heart? Ask God to give you the words and the opportunity to approach the subject… again.

Maybe he knows how you’re feeling but nothing has changed.I’m so sorry. You’re worth loving. It hurts when our husbands can’t – or won’t – give us what we need. But sister, God sees your pain and wants to fill that empty space. If you ask Him to, He will.

Listen, girls… marriage is work. Loving someone isn’t easy. And the grass is always greener where you water it.

So what if we decided to pay more (and better?) attention to our men?

… When he walks in the door from work, we go hug him.

… When he talks to us, we put down our phones and look at him instead.

… We carve out time each day – even 10 minutes – to connect with him one-on-one.

… We encourage him with our words.

Exhausted or not, I want my husband to know he is loved. That he is worth my time and attention. Because when my connection with Wayne is strong, then everything else in my life makes sense.

Listen girls, in a world where the very idea marriage is under attack, let’s purpose to be wives that honor God by holding fast to our commitment to … love.

Our men need to know they matter.

Because when they feel valued, chances are they’ll be more intentional to show us we do, too.

Meet Carey

Hi! I'm Carey -- a speaker, author and life coach honest about my life and faith, stumbles, fumbles and all. My ministry focuses on helping women untangle their self-worth from the "I'm-not good enough" messages and reminding them of their immeasurable value. Because when a woman knows her value, she is freed up to live with purpose and joy.