Thursday, February 11, 2010

Last night's Mutant Future session was pretty chaotic. Bob the Human returned to the team after the player missed the previous two sessions and a new PC, a two-headed porcupine, was added to the team, joining up with Ed the three-armed beak-faced mutant and Jynx the demon with extra faces where his kneecaps should be. They continued to pillage the Howling Tower, facing such delights as a giant mutated maggot and and flying manta ray that was actually a form of fungus. The party neatly avoided a simple but deadly trap: a room packed full of deadly ooze. By opening a door from afar (with Jynx's prehensile tongue) they were able to trap the ooze monster in a corridor with doors at both ends. Bob found a magic ring by remembering that he had a sword that detected gold. And Ed looted a necromancer's study, making off with a book bound in human skin that wriggled when touched. That necromancer is going to be pissed when he gets back.

The party then decided that they needed to find a wizard to trade the magic ring and/or book for stuff they could actually use. So they set off for the Laughing Dragon Inn, because Lord Brain sometimes passes through there on his travels. Lord Brain is a Thundarr style wizard, with a brain in a jar where his head should be. The party also met Dergo the Four-Armed Bard, who plays old rock and roll tunes on ukulele and accordion. He's best known for his Hawaiian polka rendition of "Voodoo Child".

Anyway, Lord Brain was very keen on getting ahold of that ring, as it allows one to read the past history of objects. He's got a lair full of techno-artifacts and no user manuals. So he traded the party one suit of Terrazonian Stormtrooper Armor for the ring. Since Dave Hargave invented the Terrazonian Stormtrooper Armor it's pretty effin' sweet: Ac 2, quarter damage from fire, half damage from sonics, no damage from cold, 70% chance of deflecting lasers, 25% of ricocheting bullets, helm makes you immune to gas and blinding attacks, comes with 20 hit points that sit in front of your own (and they self-repair!). The helmet looks a lot like a cylon head, so that's pretty awesome. The only obvious defect is double damage from electrical attacks. (Note to self: more blue dragons.) Bob's the only guy in last night's group who can wear the suit, so he is immediately declared the guy who gets to go in front from now on.

Dergo the Bard also gave the party a lead on a new adventure site. Originally, the exploration of the Howling Tower was predicated on finding a specific ancient spellbook. Turns out they were following a false lead. Several sessions ago the party mixed up two totally different wizard's towers and I didn't correct them. Now they know where the correct wizard's tower can be found and to expect giant scorpions as big as houses. Since this whole crazy expedition started to benefit the now-dead lich PC (still guest-starring as the skull Jynx carries in his backpack for fun), Ed discussed with Lord Brain what he would trade for the legendary Spellbook of the Silver Flame. Lord Brain pretty much offered them anything they wanted: a city to rule, a conquering army, techno-junk from his personal armory, etc. What self-respecting PC wouldn't risk life and sanity when the stakes are that high? I can't wait to see how things go next session.

"Man, is there anything Jeff CAN'T do when it comes to gaming? This guy is like a critical 20 every roll. Jeff can bite the heads offa five game geeks, including their sorry-ass DM, and spit 'em into a large duffel bag ONE AT A TIME!...that's just the kind of messed up bastard he is! You think yer a gamer, punk? Well..do ya? Jeff will depants your weasel-ass right in front of your grandma."