Sunday, December 22, 2013

Facing the Music

Do you ever just want to quit? Give up? Retreat? Go somewhere to get away from your struggles? From others and yourself, who keep being hurtful and never seem to change? Eventually, there remains no where to go.
I think when I feel like this, there is something the Lord is wanting me to deal with, and I don't want to. I want to do what I think is easier or less uncomfortable, like one of the above. All of what I wrote in the first paragraph indicates a desire to run away, instead of facing, whatever it is, head-on.
Now, for the "whatever it is." It' s a build up of some of the things that I haven't dealt with in the past, whether in myself or my circumstances, and it's come to a point, that if I don't do it now, more problems will result with, and the fallout will be unavoidable. But, I don't know what to deal with first, or how. I guess that is where seeking the Lord, and trusting Him comes in.
In yesterdays post, I had written about being in His Kingdom, as opposed to in the kingdom of the world. Maybe me feeling this way now, is either an illusion sent by the enemy because I was onto something true, or maybe it is God telling me that I am using "being in His Kingdom" as a means of escaping what He wants me to face, in my life here on earth. I am thinking now it is the latter. If that is true, it still makes me want to run and not deal with it. (The tendency of the flesh)
Facing our reality is important. Even Abraham knew that he was past bearing children (reality) but believed God still. Sometimes not facing reality requires no trust in God at all. In Abraham's case, if he and Sarah were of child bearing age, when she became pregnant, how would that have demonstrated to them that it was a miracle from God?
In my case, if I deny that anything is wrong, if things get better, I may attribute it to my own efforts or in the natural flow of circumstances changing, as in "eventually things just seem to take care of themselves." And so I would miss God's hand in my life. But, if I admit my own reality, either in how I am feeling, or in what is truly painful or hurtful, and commit it to God, then when it does change, I will know that God Himself, took an interest and moved on me, the situation or others, and will know more of His love and power. Then it will be obvious to me, that it was Him who did it, and to Him only will be the glory!