June 30, 2014

We are only two no-school days into summer and I can already tell that this is going to be a picturesque time of our lives.

Perhaps I should pull out my real camera... Oh, the ease of an iPhone.

My yard is sprinkled with pops of color...

I took an early morning walk this morning just to see and feel summer in my little corner of upstate New York. We love it here.

(Lovely finger shot.)

(Another finger.)

A few tomatoes and some weeds...

Todd was up early weeding while I observed.

How I love him.

Drew built this nifty stand for our sprinkler. He's a great farmhand, that one.

The cows were just waking.

They are such docile toddlers.

(We just bought some green elastic bands to convert these bulls into steers. Haha. This is 100% Todd's department and a future post.)

These boys are cute together.

Around 7am, Drew wakes up Leah and they get to work.

I have never once had to remind Drew to care for his cows.

(I went to bed early last night and was surprised to wake up to a sink of dirty dishes. I can't remember the last time we've had a messy kitchen in the morning. Is it bad for me to admit- the extra sleep was worth it?)

Sweet babies.

I love this life we are blessed to experience.

I'm grateful for the lessons my children are learning here on our little farm.

Life is good.

If you are an Instagram (mossmoments) or Facebook (Jenifer Moss with one N in Jenifer) friend of mine, you can see a few videos I'll be posting.

June 25, 2014

I didn't write a letter to Kate Kelly's bishop.
I didn't join in any vigil.
The most outspoken comments I made (before writing this post) were in response to an inappropriate blog that criticized Sister Kelly's Stake President.

But, my heart felt for Sister Kelly and her Ordain Women following.
These are my family-- my sisters and brothers.
My heart also felt for her Bishop and those who were asked to be a part of her disciplinary counsel.

Contrary to public understanding, neither men nor women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints seek offices of leadership.
Very few men serve as bishops or stake presidents and priesthood ordination is not something that men or women acquire because they petition, demonstrate, or are voted in.

I don't share Sister Kelly's opinion that women are 2nd class citizens in our church. As one who is married to a righteous priesthood holder, and also as one who has sat in council with many priesthood leaders, I have always felt cherished and respected. I have been called upon to lead and to govern. I have felt God's power to do this without a need to be ordained to the Priesthood.

Unlike Sister Kelly, I find great power in my membership in the Relief Society Organization of the Church. I feel this organization holds power and authority to administer and minister in God's kingdom. In recent years, I have seen many changes in administration that has allowed sisters to serve in greater leadership capacities. Public discord seems to undermine and not support these changes.

There is a fine line between inspiration and deception. Often leaders use ideas that are good to justify actions that are wrong. "Pro-Choice" for example, uses the idea of personal choice or agency (which is good) to encourage the murder of millions of children each year. They advertise actions that belittle a woman's sacred role as a creator of life under the facade of "reproductive rights and empowerment". This is not progress, this is deception.

In my humble opinion, Ordain Women uses the idea of equality for women to encourage rebellion and dissonance against ordained church leaders who have been called of God. Sister Kelly pulled herself away from her church family as she used the Internet, media sources, and other progressive thinkers to condemn and criticize local and general leaders of the Church.

In my humble opinion, one who is so publically seeking the "ordination" of women, should be able to demonstrate an understanding of what it means to be ordained. Sister Kelly doesn't respect the authority of the priesthood in her own personal life. Why would anyone seek ordination to an office she does not respect or understand? Sister Kelly is not seeking ordination, she is seeking to abolish the fundamental concept of divine authority in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She didn't commit apostasy because she asked questions; she removed herself from membership when she refused to acknowledge and respect those who are currently ordained to serve as her presiding authorities.

I am a woman in God's kingdom who is ALWAYS asking questions and pushing the limits of accepted tradition to understand truth. A church is not a political organization. Membership in the church is optional. We choose membership in this church, because we believe (Articles of Faith 5) that it is led and directed by those who are called of God to lead and direct His Church. Because I believe with my whole soul that God leads and directs the organization and administration of this Church on the earth today, the questions I pose are presented humbly as I seek to understand.

You can choose to believe in our church or not believe in our church, but you cannot choose to preach against church doctrine and leadership while claiming to hold sacred covenants you have made to sustain those same leaders you are protesting against. Before you seek ordination-- seek to understand what that ordination means. God will never allow men or women to be ordained to any offices they do not sustain, respect or value.

Personally, I hate the idea of excommunication. I hate it.
But, I hate more the idea of false teaching and deception.

I believe that Kate Kelly is being deceived. I believe that she THINKS she is being directed by God, but she is not.

God does inspire change. But, He does it in an orderly way. God uses those who are in authority, God uses holy men and women, Prophets, even Prophetesses, who have been given authority to rule and reign in His Church on the earth today. Kate Kelly is not one of these women. Kate does NOT have the authority to ask for changes in a church whose leaders she does not sustain.

I have had the opportunity to be in the presence of a prophet of God and apostles in our church. As I saw these holy men, a strong, humbling, joyful feeling enveloped my being. I knew then, and I know now, that these were holy men called to administer this Church in these days.

Recently, I sat in a meeting with local leaders, both men and women. I felt this same power emphasizing to me again that these men and women were called of God. I know that they are good people, I know that they did not seek the callings that they now hold to administer and minister. I also know the love and respect these men in the Priesthood have for me and other women who sat in counsel with them. Mormon men honor and respect women.

Months ago, I sat in a training meeting with a large group of women. Sister Rosemary Wixom, the General President of the Primary Organization of the Church was scheduled to speak. She walked into the room while I was talking with my friend. She stopped at my congregational pew and placed her hands on my shoulder to shake my hand. I was caught off guard, not realizing at first who had touched my shoulder, to feel a powerful confirmation envelop my being. As this humble, holy woman held my hand, God spoke to my soul confirming that she was a Prophetess in His Kingdom. This woman was called to lead in His gospel and she was endowed with great power and authority. I felt it then and I feel it still today.

I felt the same confirmation that Sister Wixom was called of God that I have felt previously about President Monson, our prophet, and my local church leaders. There are women on the earth today who are called and set-apart with great Priesthood authority. Do not let limits on your ordination distract you from your access to His power.

Women-- we have a great work to do! Never in the history of the world has God needed righteous women to lead and to govern in His church, in the communities in which we live, and at home. God needs women to lead and to let our holy lights shine. We can do much good in the world. We were foreordained to this great work. Let's start by discerning good and evil. Let's start by being able to hear the voice of God and act upon it in our lives. God does not inspire contention and discord. God is love, God is order, God is authority.

Yes!! Yes, just like we feel with every fiber of our being that women have the responsibility and RIGHT to CHOOSE, we also feel with every fiber of our being that women are EQUAL to men. Of course we feel that, because we ARE!! We feel innately that we are called to be powerful workers in God's Kingdom-- because we ARE!! We feel our ability to LEAD to TEACH to PREACH to MINISTER to HEAL to BLESS and to use the power of God for good--- because this is our calling and our mission. Do not be deceived into thinking that we are less because we are different. Our potential is limitless, eternal and divine. Kate Kelly felt this-- but she mistook power for ordination. We know better. Women do not need to be ordained to have access to God's power.

I have access to God's power. I feel it. I am called of God to minister in my home, in my community, and in my Church. My hands are full and my heart is stretched to capacity as I learn to serve as a member of His beloved Relief Society. I honor my membership in this great organization and I strive daily to be the disciple of Christ He has called me to be.

We do not need to be Elders-- we are powerful Sisters with a great work to perform.
Come Sisters-- let's serve together to build the kingdom of God on the Earth.
We don't have time for distractions, we have a great work to perform.

Today, my heart is full.
I pray for a greater capacity to serve in the callings that I currently hold.
I pray for eyes to see the hand of God in my life, in the leadership of my Church, in the lives of those I love.
I pray for greater love, greater patience, greater power to serve and lead.
Today-- I feel the sacred mantle that we hold and I am humbled and eternally grateful.

June 23, 2014

"Most of us think of pride as self-centerdness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core is still missing.

"The central feature of pride is emnity- enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means 'hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.' It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.

"Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God's. When we direct our pride toward God, it is the spirit of 'my will and not thine be done.' . . .

"Our will in competition to God's will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled.

"The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives. They pit their perceptions of truth against God's great knowledge, their abilities versus God's priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works" (in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 3-4).

I'm noticing the times in my day when I feel tired, cranky, and overused.

Normally, I just push through and try hard to endure.

Because I felt that my attitude came from physical factors, I never really felt like I could change.

Last night, I remembered this quote and searched my soul for pride that may or may not be contributing to my exhaustion.

The truth was-- I had a very long day, a long weekend. I was tired AND starting to get sick with a sore throat and fever.

I put Ben to sleep, Todd put the little girls to sleep, and then I was helping a sick Anna finish up the dishes. She was cranky, Todd was cranky, and I was cranky.

At times like this, I usually crave distraction. I don't like to yell or hurt people with my words, so I sit for an extra long time in the bathroom. Or, I get quiet and a bit zoned out. I'm trying to change from numbing endurance to powerful light.

I visualize times when my kids get tired and my house gets contentious as times when a dark cloud settles on us. I can feel this shadow and I hate it. I feel powerless and I feel like a victim. I also visualize this darkness settle on my family and Todd and I having the power to dispel darkness with light and power. I want to be a mother with power to bring light and dispel darkness from my home.

I believe this is possible, even essential.

Most of the time I'm really good at this-- but there are still moments.

Last night, I recognized that tired, mad, cranky feeling and I started looking for enmity and pride.

I found it and it surprised me.

I really was angry at Todd. Mad that I had to work when I wanted to sleep. Mad at my kids for needing me. It wasn't just physical exhaustion that was pulling me down- it was pride, enmity, and sin. Sin that was hiding so innocently behind my best motherhood martyr.

At the moment I recognized hate I also recognized I had the spiritual power to change. I could choose to love God more than Satan. How?

I sought for doctrine to remember that could replace my anger. The doctrine I found was the motto of Relief Society-- "Charity Never Faileth". As I washed a pile of dishes and I reminded myself to love more, to serve, to be grateful. Charity Never Faileth- I told myself this over and over. He promised and I believed Him as I washed.

Guess what? I felt a CHANGE. I repented of my "enmity" and remembered God's promises and I felt love pour into my soul. I loved my family and I loved Anna who worked beside me. I was still tired and sick, but I wasn't angry.

I felt my soul changed. I felt the whole mood of my home change. I was enjoying not enduring, my relationship with Anna was strengthened, I felt greater appreciation and compassion for Todd. True doctrine and love heals.

I hesitate to share this example with you.

It may seem silly and intense.

But, it was powerful to me.

Look for enmity in your own life.

Repent.

Feel the power that comes into your life as you choose gratitude and love over hate and anger.

Light is stronger than darkness.

We can make our homes places of peace and goodness- even when we're tired, even when we're cranky, even when we feel justified in our selfishness.

June 20, 2014

Listening to play by play accounts of the upcoming talent show from that one.

Finding that one sneaky kid, and taking the time to gently enforce. (I don't get mad often, but I do believe when children DO wrong it is right to help them make up for it by DOING good. So, the one who snuck on TV after I had turned it off, became the one who vacuumed the family room for me. Win-win!!)

Buying a special snack for that big guy, at the grocery store. Just so he knows I think of him.

Hugging, really hugging.

I don't always start out noticing the moments, but the more aware I am, the more I progress.

(I read the most heart wrenching article yesterday about parents who leave their children in the car, accidentally killing them. Ugh. It made me realize we ALL need to slow down and be more aware. I'll link to it on my Facebook page.)

I didn't think I liked roses, but the bursts if color in my landscaping makes me happy.

I love color.

I often pinch myself thinking- I live here!!

My baby cows are adorable and hard to find in the pasture.

Can you see them?

I love to hear their hungry moo's as it gets later in the evening.

I love to watch Drew and another sibling preparing bottles to care for their animals.

This is a good life.

Ben is messy and loves to feed himself.

Yesterday a shovel worked better than a broom to clean under his highchair.

Oh my.

I made these curtains when we were first married.

They were the first things I ever sewed that were usuable.

I remember standing in line for a huge sale at JoAnne's, holding my fabric to be cut. So many people commented on how much they liked my fabric.

After they cut it for me, they handed me the receipt. Even with 60% off the fabric was still way more expensive than we could afford. Ahh!! I didn't know what to do, so I paid and brought it home to Todd thinking these had better be the best curtains ever.

I just tacked them up to see if I like them. I don't love the fabric or style these days- but I love the history and sentiment behind them.

We'll see if they win me over, or if I decide to make some new curtains.

Decisions- decisions.

I have no pictures of my real accomplishment yesterday.

I totally cleaned my garage!!

I added a book shelf for my mountain of shoes and I love it!!

My kids spent the afternoon in the pool.

My five year old may or may not have left some poo in my ool.

Ewe. At least it was solid.

She sobbed that she didn't know what to do because she didn't want to come inside with a wet swim suit.

Some decisions ARE hard.

I assured her that poo in the ool was worse than wet swimsuit on my floor.

Poo is worse than water, dear Lily.

Next time!

Lily cried again when Eve was the princess at dinner. We all go around and say why we love Eve. I said "I love Eve because she doesn't poop in my pool." Lily sobbed because I was making fun of her. Poor thing. Mean mommy.

My blog-time is up this morning.

Here is my grand thought for the day--

This morning Ben was fussy. I didn't know why. My natural tendency was to get frustrated with him, or just set him down. Nothing I was trying seemed to comfort him and I was up to my eyeballs in outfit and hair drama.

Todd noticed him grunting. We realized he was trying to poop and having some trouble. Poor fella was a bit constipated this morning (he usually runs in the other direction).

I held him for some time (a long time), just being a shoulder to lean on while he cried and pushed. I thought- this is why I'm here. My job isn't to fix everything- just to comfort them while they work things out for themselves. I'm their soft place. I'm their encouragement. I'm their confidence and assurance that they're doing great, even when life hurts or is scary.

I got a C this morning.

I was there for Ben and I was average or a smidge above average for the rest.

Lily was excited for her butterfly play this morning- we got her all butterflied up, and dealt with a little extra emotion as she interacted with Eve (who was also excited about butterflies.)

Ellie and Anna had Field Day today.

I was patient as Ellie fumed about not having anything to wear. (Field Day was supposed to be yesterday but got postponed and now she didn't have another blue outfit to wear.)

Anna was a bit cranky sharing her clothes with Ellie. I was strict with Anna. It wasn't until she broke down in tears about a presentation she was supposed to give at school (hers was 9 minutes instead of 5 minutes), that I realized- she's working on her own poop. (If you know what I mean.)

Todd and I worked together calming the storm-- many times during the morning I looked at him so grateful for his partnership and cute fathering skills. But, I turned away when he tried to hug me as he left for work. I just felt too stressed to connect.

Why? I'm sorry I turned away. I think I was in mother-work-mode and I didn't realize that he needed a little nurturing too. That I needed to let him nurture me.

Being a mother of many means that I am being molded into one who nurtures.

I am learning to loose myself in the service of others.

Even when I'm just a "C" mother, I can see the "A" mother that I want to be.

My daily practice sessions ARE working and so are theirs.

Line upon line.

I want to nurture better, to love more, to teach by example, to comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to mourn with those that mourn.

I'm learning.

They're learning.

This is a great work!

Life is good.

("I feel lazy like a bear when... I clean up my whole house, it is a mess." Lily, age 5)

June 18, 2014

I'm making sure we enjoy the outdoors, serve others, and have fun together.

I expect a tidy home, but I do not want my life to revolve around housework.

My basic day will be morning zones (done by 10), mid-morning activities, and naptime quiet afternoons.

No screen time before zones, practice something, make something, play something and read something.

That's how we roll.

My best summer post is- Chore Charts and NON-consistency.
It's pretty good and has been read by a lot of people (I still remember the quiet morning I wrote it, I'm still embarrassed by how long it is and my poor capitalization...).
I still use that basic outline, but we have dish jobs and house zones.

I was grateful my cousin reminded me of this great idea- wipe off checklists! (Read her post here- expectations.) It was just what I needed to get back into a routine. I also love that she had the kids check off their jobs with an older child.

Perfect.

I started the Sweet or Skinny Club.

Kids who are sassy or unkind will be moved from sweet to skinny.

(I just say "that's one, that's two" then I move their name.)

When we have an opportunity for treats (Popsicles, ice cream, popcorn, etc.) the skinny folks won't join us.

Haha! I know-- Don't analyze this too deeply, I may be unconsciously promoting sassy anorexic children with this method.

Yes, we will require a sweet treat recommend.

Yes, they can do a Mom's Choice job to earn back their standing in the kingdom.

I'm nice like that.

I should modify my sign to say Be Nice or Work Hard.

Ha!

I love being a mother.

I imagine that sometimes I might also let the sweet kids stay up later or come on special outings with me, while the skinny kids stay home.

Haha. I think I'll be laughing at myself all summer long.

(I usually buy juice Popsicles and let the kids have one for a snack every afternoon. My kids will do an awful lot for a Popsicle.)

And, we will have treats more often if we have too much attitude.

Win-win

Do you have any great summer ideas??

Please share your favorites!

Summer is good!!
It feels good to lead in my home. I know that as I TRY to mother and teach, I am blessed with grace, power and ability greater than my own.
Yes-- my measly loaves and fishes are enough.
My 15 year old groaned when we had a discussion about limiting screen time. He said, "Mom, you've been trying this summer stuff my whole life and it isn't working! You have no idea how much time most of my friends spend on the computer." I looked into his eyes filled with the love I have for him and said, "Jakob-- you are a beautiful child. Something I've done has absolutely been working."
And, I believe this. I'm so glad our family is different.

Children are worth the investment of time, effort, energy, prayer and work we put into them.
No service, however small, is ever wasted.
These daily efforts will work together to mold and influence eternal souls.
Light and goodness is more powerful than darkness and evil.

I'm getting tired of reading blogs (even my own) that continue to describe out of control homes with the idea that "we are enough". Yes, we are enough. Yes, we all have days when we are absolute failures. Yes, being a mother is hard but it is also way easier than NOT parenting our children or NOT caring for our home. Work is easier than bed rest. Work, patience, kindness, forgiveness, respect, diligence, and love is easier than trying to stay sane when our life is crumbling around us. There is much in life that is harder than dealing with toddlers who write on our walls or come out of bed 15 times. (Trust me!! There may come a day when you WISH you were at home frustrated with your kids instead of hooked up to machines frustrated with blood clots.)

Wishing we could go back and love instead of spank is harder than summoning that last ounce of patience we have today. Wishing that we could take back unkind, impatient words is at least as hard as not saying them in the first place- isn't it? Living as a single mother is at least as hard as learning to love an imperfect man. Buck up ladies!! We've got this!!

We aren't just barely enough, we are GOOD and powerful leaders. We CAN create a home environment that is clean, holy, and beautiful. We can teach our children to be kind, helpful, responsible and smart. We can serve in our homes, our churches and our neighborhoods.
We CAN do this.
Maybe we will never be perfect or flawless or completely healthy or divinely disciplined... but we can be GOOD.
We can be the best we can be... and that is pretty dang good.
I know MANY beautiful marriages, MANY functional, happy families, MANY mothers who train their children in love, nurture, and patience. I know couples who work as partners. I know wise, refined, selfless people who have allowed years of service to mold their souls and shape their nature.
It is beautiful.
Wow-- this work that we do has great power to help us become.
We have power to influence others for good as we serve and love more. We have GREAT power.

God's work and His glory is to bring to pass the eternal life and immortality of man.
He is really good at His job.
He is helping us.
We can be pretty dang good at our job too.
I know it.
I need to remember this today.
My summer is going to be WONDERFUL and good.
I know it.
I'm so grateful for the work that I get to do each day.
How blessed we are to be alive, to have power to choose, and to feel the power of God work in our lives each day.
He is helping you. I know it.
Life is SO good.

I brought a little message and some flowers to some friends from church...

Cute, huh?!

I love magic soap dispensers and fresh flowers.

How about you?

Life is grand.

(So is my dog- doesn't he look regal sitting in my landscaping?!)

Happy Friday!!

(I would love someone smarter than me to name my flowers for me-- so I don't have to figure it out. I imagine the big whites are magnolias or gardenias-- just because they look the way those words sound. I think the small pink ones are azeleas? Really, I have no idea.)

About Me

I am a mother, a Christian, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a New Yorker, and an optimist.
I love people, happy endings, cowboys, squishy babies, crayon pictures, quilts, blue skies, fingerprints on my windows, clean laundry, sun rays through the clouds, and one certain college professor.
I have 8 children, 1 horse, 5 cows, 15 chickens, bunny that thinks she's a chicken, and 1 silly dog. (We raise free-range children, and chickens.)
This blog, like my life, is a continual rough draft. I'm not afraid to let you see me before I'm finished.
Today, I'm enjoying my moments and LIVING my happily ever after.

Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.

"Oh, the ordinary day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me be grateful while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall fall upon my knees, or bury my face in the pillow, or lie among the sick, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."

Mary Jean Iron

Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.