Your Money My Money

Ok this is a bit of a vent/problem. Wondering if anyone else has the same problem?

This doesn't always happen but often if I want to pay for something my husband doesn't he says I can't because it's "HIS money". This really irks me. We decided before we got married that I would be a SAHM. I don't like feeling like a lot of times I need to ask him for permission to pay for something and feeling like I don't have my own money.I don't need to ask for anything like bills, groceries ect but anything else and I do or he gets mad if I don't.

We aren't super tight on money but we have a lot of stuff to pay off.The only thing that we have been disagreeing on a lot lately is that I want to go to the Chiropractor. My lower back was really hurting for a while, and my posture has been a bit off for years. I've started going and I'm feeling much better, completely better. I'm going often right now (twice per week) because we just started and the Chiropractor said as it begins to hold better we can spread it out to once a week, every two weeks, once a month and then eventually ever 2 months or so. So right now it's a bit expensive but it will become less.My husband doesn't understand, he says I don't need to see the Chiropractor and I should just eat healthy and exercise (his answer for everything). I do eat healthy and exercise, but aparently if I don't feel good I'm not eating healthy enough, exercising enough or there is just something I'm not doing right. He doesn't understand because he's always been very healthy and never needed to see doctors.

To give a little history I have also seen a naturopath this year (not anymore) and an acupuncturist (which i've put on hold until I can start seeing the chiropractor less) because I was really sick for a while a few months ago.

My husband has now told me I either can't go to the Chiropractor or I need to get a job. I'm a bit upset by this. I wanted to be a SAHM (my son just turned 1). If I work we will need to pay for childcare which will take half of what I'm making and I won't be able to see my son much. Or I can work at the childcare at my gym which doesn't pay much but then I can have my son with me so I won't have to pay for childcare and I'll still be able to spend time with him.

I understand my husband's stressed with money... I'm not sure if I should get a job now or not.....

Does anyone else have problems like this with money? Do you feel like you have less of a say on how to spend it because you're not the one earning it? What do you think of my situation?

Ok this is a bit of a vent/problem. Wondering if anyone else has the same problem?

This doesn't always happen but often if I want to pay for something my husband doesn't he says I can't because it's "HIS money". This really irks me. We decided before we got married that I would be a SAHM. I don't like feeling like a lot of times I need to ask him for permission to pay for something and feeling like I don't have my own money.I don't need to ask for anything like bills, groceries ect but anything else and I do or he gets mad if I don't.

We aren't super tight on money but we have a lot of stuff to pay off.The only thing that we have been disagreeing on a lot lately is that I want to go to the Chiropractor. My lower back was really hurting for a while, and my posture has been a bit off for years. I've started going and I'm feeling much better, completely better. I'm going often right now (twice per week) because we just started and the Chiropractor said as it begins to hold better we can spread it out to once a week, every two weeks, once a month and then eventually ever 2 months or so. So right now it's a bit expensive but it will become less.My husband doesn't understand, he says I don't need to see the Chiropractor and I should just eat healthy and exercise (his answer for everything). I do eat healthy and exercise, but aparently if I don't feel good I'm not eating healthy enough, exercising enough or there is just something I'm not doing right. He doesn't understand because he's always been very healthy and never needed to see doctors.

To give a little history I have also seen a naturopath this year (not anymore) and an acupuncturist (which i've put on hold until I can start seeing the chiropractor less) because I was really sick for a while a few months ago.

My husband has now told me I either can't go to the Chiropractor or I need to get a job. I'm a bit upset by this. I wanted to be a SAHM (my son just turned 1). If I work we will need to pay for childcare which will take half of what I'm making and I won't be able to see my son much. Or I can work at the childcare at my gym which doesn't pay much but then I can have my son with me so I won't have to pay for childcare and I'll still be able to spend time with him.

I understand my husband's stressed with money... I'm not sure if I should get a job now or not.....

Does anyone else have problems like this with money? Do you feel like you have less of a say on how to spend it because you're not the one earning it? What do you think of my situation?

I do not have this problem. I sometimes feel bad and will comment I don't like paying for new bras or clothes with 'his money' and he always retorts that it's 'our money.' I lucked out in finding him, lol. Anyways, my sister is married to the exact opposite in every aspect. He has that 'my money, your money attitude' and in such am extreme way. He refuses to help her pay her half of the cell phone bill, insurance on her car, her half of the bills, etc. This has forced her to go back to work. Anyways, seeing this and how closed their communication is (though I attribute that to him being a dumb prick) I would say that you need to have a serious sit down with hubby and explain to him that your job is to be at home with the kids that he helped create and that you do not get a paycheck for doing this. If he still fails to see this then I would suggest couples counseling to better communication. It's not like you are spending the money on a whole new wardrobe and sports car.

I do not have this problem. I sometimes feel bad and will comment I don't like paying for new bras or clothes with 'his money' and he always retorts that it's 'our money.' I lucked out in finding him, lol. Anyways, my sister is married to the exact opposite in every aspect. He has that 'my money, your money attitude' and in such am extreme way. He refuses to help her pay her half of the cell phone bill, insurance on her car, her half of the bills, etc. This has forced her to go back to work. Anyways, seeing this and how closed their communication is (though I attribute that to him being a dumb prick) I would say that you need to have a serious sit down with hubby and explain to him that your job is to be at home with the kids that he helped create and that you do not get a paycheck for doing this. If he still fails to see this then I would suggest couples counseling to better communication. It's not like you are spending the money on a whole new wardrobe and sports car.

i might also consider pointing out that his little bundle of joy didnt do your back any favors while you were "cooking" lo. he didnt have to go through having his entire body change so he probably doesnt fully understand your need for the chiropractor.

i might also consider pointing out that his little bundle of joy didnt do your back any favors while you were "cooking" lo. he didnt have to go through having his entire body change so he probably doesnt fully understand your need for the chiropractor.

i have the opposite problem. DH says I dont spend enough on myself LOL. He is always encouraging me to buy new clothes or go out with the girls to make myself feel good. There is no "his money, her money" in our relationship. We are a team, a partnership and our money is a reflection of that.We both respect the others contribution, whether it is monetary or not.

He gives me his paycheck and I do all the budgeting. Any large purchases we discuss before hand but he has never said no to me, especially if it was related to my health. I really think you need to talk to your DH, I dont really understand why he feels the need to "control" the money. This can't be healthy to your relationship; you will end up resenting him.

i have the opposite problem. DH says I dont spend enough on myself LOL. He is always encouraging me to buy new clothes or go out with the girls to make myself feel good. There is no "his money, her money" in our relationship. We are a team, a partnership and our money is a reflection of that.We both respect the others contribution, whether it is monetary or not.

He gives me his paycheck and I do all the budgeting. Any large purchases we discuss before hand but he has never said no to me, especially if it was related to my health. I really think you need to talk to your DH, I dont really understand why he feels the need to "control" the money. This can't be healthy to your relationship; you will end up resenting him.

My friends boyfriend is the same way with the half and half. They're planning on getting married and he told her he doesn't want her to stay home because she needs to pay for half. Half of everything, even if he is making a lot more than her, sounds more like a roomate than a spouse.

Yeah I'm going to need to have another talk with him.

My friends boyfriend is the same way with the half and half. They're planning on getting married and he told her he doesn't want her to stay home because she needs to pay for half. Half of everything, even if he is making a lot more than her, sounds more like a roomate than a spouse.

Yeah I tried that one it didn't work. He thinks a chiropractor can be completely prevented so therefore I'm using money unnecessarily since I could have just avoided it instead. Maybe I could have but it's too late for that now.

Yeah I tried that one it didn't work. He thinks a chiropractor can be completely prevented so therefore I'm using money unnecessarily since I could have just avoided it instead. Maybe I could have but it's too late for that now.

We have tried to talk about it numerous times but never get anywhere. I'm going to talk to him about it again. Basically he doesn't want me to go until we pay off all our debt (he told me last night). I understand him wanting to do this right away because so do I. But I don't think me going to the Chiropractor is going to make a big change in how soon we pay off our debt.I'm already starting to feel resentful... well if we don't come to an agreement on this. I don't like feeling like a child and that I can't make decisions with our money too.

We have tried to talk about it numerous times but never get anywhere. I'm going to talk to him about it again. Basically he doesn't want me to go until we pay off all our debt (he told me last night). I understand him wanting to do this right away because so do I. But I don't think me going to the Chiropractor is going to make a big change in how soon we pay off our debt.I'm already starting to feel resentful... well if we don't come to an agreement on this. I don't like feeling like a child and that I can't make decisions with our money too.

my husband feels like his money is my money he deposits half of his paycheck in my account every paycheck for me to do what I like even though I save the money. we have debt but its only our mortgage and my new suv but we put a large lum sum down to avoid future stress with payments. what about watching a child on the side for some extra cash?

my husband feels like his money is my money he deposits half of his paycheck in my account every paycheck for me to do what I like even though I save the money. we have debt but its only our mortgage and my new suv but we put a large lum sum down to avoid future stress with payments. what about watching a child on the side for some extra cash?

this kind of situation is so interesting to me. before we ot married we combined our accounts and have always deposited any paychecks in just that one. we always talk about purchases before we make them, but we dont feel possesive over the money. i guess i just dont understand not sharing your money with your spouse, unless theyve shown crazy untrustworthy spending in the past.

this kind of situation is so interesting to me. before we ot married we combined our accounts and have always deposited any paychecks in just that one. we always talk about purchases before we make them, but we dont feel possesive over the money. i guess i just dont understand not sharing your money with your spouse, unless theyve shown crazy untrustworthy spending in the past.

Im going to play devil's advocate here. Maybe he's sick of something being wrong with you. You said you were seeing an accupunctorist and now a chiropractor and you get sick frequently. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe if you need to see chiropractors, doctors, and accupunc. Then maybe a side job to pay for them would HELP. However, I want to add... You two should be SHARING your money.. Not arguing over it. Hopefully he can figure that out.

Im going to play devil's advocate here. Maybe he's sick of something being wrong with you. You said you were seeing an accupunctorist and now a chiropractor and you get sick frequently. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe if you need to see chiropractors, doctors, and accupunc. Then maybe a side job to pay for them would HELP. However, I want to add... You two should be SHARING your money.. Not arguing over it. Hopefully he can figure that out.

I do really think you guys need to have another discussion about this. To me, this kind of issue can do great damage to your relationship. Hopefully once your husband realizes how detrimental his behavior can be, he will let go of some control. I completely understand wanting to pay off debt, we also are tying to do that. I just think this is a bigger issue than seeing a chiropractor or not; you are a team and should be making decisions as such.

I do really think you guys need to have another discussion about this. To me, this kind of issue can do great damage to your relationship. Hopefully once your husband realizes how detrimental his behavior can be, he will let go of some control. I completely understand wanting to pay off debt, we also are tying to do that. I just think this is a bigger issue than seeing a chiropractor or not; you are a team and should be making decisions as such.

I do really think you guys need to have another discussion about this. To me, this kind of issue can do great damage to your relationship. Hopefully once your husband realizes how detrimental his behavior can be, he will let go of some control. I completely understand wanting to pay off debt, we also are tying to do that. I just think this is a bigger issue than seeing a chiropractor or not; you are a team and should be making decisions as such.

I do really think you guys need to have another discussion about this. To me, this kind of issue can do great damage to your relationship. Hopefully once your husband realizes how detrimental his behavior can be, he will let go of some control. I completely understand wanting to pay off debt, we also are tying to do that. I just think this is a bigger issue than seeing a chiropractor or not; you are a team and should be making decisions as such.

First off, I am really sorry you are ill and hope you get better soon. Second, I never understood when people in committed relationships don't "share" their money, whether it be one or two incomes. My husband and I have been together 11 years, been married for 7, and had a joint account for 8. We waited until we were financially stable enough for me to SAH before we decided to have a child. We talked about it numerous times and knew that me being a SAHM was the best decision for us.

We live comfortably and I am lucky my husband never really bothers me about money. I handle all the financials and as long as we have all our bills paid and are able to keep money in the bank, he doesn't care what I buy. We do discuss any major purchases, but even then, when I had to buy my "mommy car", I did it on my own and he just went down and signed the papers a few days later.

I have been a SAHM for a little over a year, and since then I have only had one problem with him regarding money. When we were talking about something and disagreed, I told him I knew I was right and how much did he want to bet that I was. He responded, "You can't bet, you don't have money." This happened maybe 3 times. I finally broke down at one point and started crying and told him how terrible that made me feel. He apologized and said he was only joking every time he made a comment like that, and would not do it again.

I think you and your husband need to discuss it and realize it was a decision you made together and he needs to respect you. Unless you are going to get mani/pedis/hair/etc done all the time and putting your family in debt, I don't see a problem. You are only doing something to make sure you are healthy enough to care for your family. He needs to understand, if you are not healthy, things will get much worse than spending a little money on a chiropractor.

First off, I am really sorry you are ill and hope you get better soon. Second, I never understood when people in committed relationships don't "share" their money, whether it be one or two incomes. My husband and I have been together 11 years, been married for 7, and had a joint account for 8. We waited until we were financially stable enough for me to SAH before we decided to have a child. We talked about it numerous times and knew that me being a SAHM was the best decision for us.

We live comfortably and I am lucky my husband never really bothers me about money. I handle all the financials and as long as we have all our bills paid and are able to keep money in the bank, he doesn't care what I buy. We do discuss any major purchases, but even then, when I had to buy my "mommy car", I did it on my own and he just went down and signed the papers a few days later.

I have been a SAHM for a little over a year, and since then I have only had one problem with him regarding money. When we were talking about something and disagreed, I told him I knew I was right and how much did he want to bet that I was. He responded, "You can't bet, you don't have money." This happened maybe 3 times. I finally broke down at one point and started crying and told him how terrible that made me feel. He apologized and said he was only joking every time he made a comment like that, and would not do it again.

I think you and your husband need to discuss it and realize it was a decision you made together and he needs to respect you. Unless you are going to get mani/pedis/hair/etc done all the time and putting your family in debt, I don't see a problem. You are only doing something to make sure you are healthy enough to care for your family. He needs to understand, if you are not healthy, things will get much worse than spending a little money on a chiropractor.

I have a wonderful DH, but i feel he definitley does not see his money as our money and that is the one thing that drives me crazy! I will sometimes be at a store and see something i want/need but know i should call/text him 1st to make sure its ok to make the purchase. If im with my mom, sister, or a friend its embaresing. If i want to get a manicure i cant just go, i have to ask. Granted we are still trying to adjust to being a one income family so money is a little tight but if i want to buy a $10 shirt or get my nails done once every 2 or 3 weeks i should be able to do so without asking permission, after all he is my spouse, not my parent giving me an allowance that i spent too quickly. If i worked and Put baby in day care about 75% of my salary would pay for day care so we would still be a little tight on money, so it makes me wonder if i would still need to ask permission. Frustrating!

I have a wonderful DH, but i feel he definitley does not see his money as our money and that is the one thing that drives me crazy! I will sometimes be at a store and see something i want/need but know i should call/text him 1st to make sure its ok to make the purchase. If im with my mom, sister, or a friend its embaresing. If i want to get a manicure i cant just go, i have to ask. Granted we are still trying to adjust to being a one income family so money is a little tight but if i want to buy a $10 shirt or get my nails done once every 2 or 3 weeks i should be able to do so without asking permission, after all he is my spouse, not my parent giving me an allowance that i spent too quickly. If i worked and Put baby in day care about 75% of my salary would pay for day care so we would still be a little tight on money, so it makes me wonder if i would still need to ask permission. Frustrating!

I've been a sahm for 12 yrs... I never ask permission to buy what I want/need. I take care of our 4 children 24-7 including our newborn twins so I don't think I should have to as long as we have the money. I work more hours than he does...even though he works 80+a week.

I've been a sahm for 12 yrs... I never ask permission to buy what I want/need. I take care of our 4 children 24-7 including our newborn twins so I don't think I should have to as long as we have the money. I work more hours than he does...even though he works 80+a week.

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