Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Pappies, Jhappies and Thappads...

Pappis, Jhappis and Thappads…

Oh me, oh my… Phase 3 of the Great Indian Circus is over, and there are so many people one feels like giving jhappies, pappies and thappads to. Let’s start with a pappi. Mine is reserved for the Princess of India, Priyanka Gandhi ( forget all the Vadra-Shadra business – Gandhi she was, and Gandhi she remains).Clearly, the Congress backed the wrong Gandhi. Rahulbaba, the Dimpled Darling is sweet and likeable ( gelato or jalebi ? You decide). But Rahulbaba is not a patch on Princess Priyanka when it comes to people skills. She is a natural crowd pleaser, and her brother is no match for her when it comes to handling trick questions or diffusing tense situations. See how deftly Priyanka dodged Narendra Modi’s Budhiya\Gudiya barb, or deflected criticism aimed at the P.M. Unlike her mother’s scripted speeches and rehearsed responses, Priyanka speaks minus prompting or notes, adopting an endearingly direct approach that disarms her most virulent critic.Her naughty reference to her grandmom’s nose must have brought an instant smile of recognition to several faces. Which raises the million dollar question - why did Sonia push Rahul the reluctant debutant into the fray, when Priyanka ought to have been the obvious choice? Maa ki mamtaa? A mother’s blind spot for the beta? It may remain one of those annoying mysteries. Can, Rahul, the nominated heir to the Gandhi gaddi ever deliver? How long is the seat going to be kept hot for the political greenhorn?Meanwhile, let us throw in an extra pyar ki jhappi for the charming sis who campaigned convincingly, sincerely and tirelessly for the son who may or may not rise. Priyanka’s theme song should be , “Pari Hoon Mein…” There are far too many thappads waiting to be distributed ( though chappals are easier). Somehow, the sight of Jaswant Singh got everybody’s goat as he went about recklessly supporting demands for a separate Gorkhaland. This, after distributing notes and sharing opium jalpaani with the unwashed masses of his constituency. Equally annoying was the sight of Karunanidhi on a hunger strike, after all that scarey double speak about Prabhakaran being his best buddy. Both men were playing a dangerous political game with potentially lethal consequences at a particularly sensitive time in the country. Behenji Mayawati may have spurned Sanjay Dutt’s offer to give her one of his specials and threatened to throw the actor into jail for his audacity. But better a jhappi from Sanju Baba than thappads from those who are still reeling from her tongue lashings. Strange, but Mayawati still remains the number one player in the race, with all eyes on her every move. Being a master at the numbers’ game, she, along with Amma in the South, may topple all the Kingmakers around, and become the pivots around whom India’s future revolves. No matter how it all adds up in the end ( forget the bookies – this time everything is up for grabs, including the prime ministership), the just concluded Phase -3 of the election, has rightfully grabbed world attention on the basis of sheer scale alone. Just the logistics involved in putting the complex machinery into place and conducting such an ambitious operation sans a major hemorrhage, is worth countless jhappies, pappies and more.Every single cog in this gigantic wheel deserves our unconditional praise. Of course, there will always be glitches when the task is as monumental. But let us be more generous and forgiving about lapses – so far, at least, nothing terribly embarrassing has happened. And for the most part, voting has taken place in comparative peace and safety. Enough to generate genuine shock and awe. When India votes, the world holds its breath. With reason. It is democracy at work in its most naked avatar – look ma, no hands. Behind the maneuvering, the votes-for-notes, and several other dirty machinations, there is still a great deal of transparency, innocence and hope. If millions of Indians turn out to get that black dot on the middle finger, it is because they continue to believe that their vote matters. There is an unbreakable bond of trust that makes the exercise not just worthwhile but worthy. As we continue our tryst with destiny, the only prayer is that the 543 people getting into parliament,who will be controlling it from this point on,will uphold the faith of over one billion people. It is a huge responsibility….but also a huge obligation.More importantly, it is a pact that must never be broken.India itself deserves that jadoo ki jhappi. Now more than ever.

This appeared on Sunday.... and look how far the Dimpled Darling has come since then. The Rahul Factor seems to be the only factor being discussed across channels.... and opposition members are frothing at the mouth denying any deal in the offing. Nothing is impossible in politics - left becomes right, right becomes left, left and right become the centre. The kite flying and horse trading have just begun.

Tomorrow will see me at the screening of last year's Cannes winner, " The Class." I am so looking forward to it... and the award winning films that will follow. The long, hot summer has yet to begin... but most of us are baked and broiled already. The glorious gulmohurs are in full bloom - wild bursts of flaming red at unexpected corners. The air is heavy with the heady fragrance of summer blossoms - raat ki rani, chameli, mogra, jui, champak. I can't resist buying half-a-dozen gajras at traffic signals. I dream of eating malai kulfi and drinking khus\rose sherbet. Summer can be sensuous and enjoyable - if only it wasn't so bloody hot!!

my worst fear ever is mayawathi as prime minister of our country and if that happens i says to mu hubby i begging in usa but not coming back to india,going by the trend looks like my fear may be real and i will be struck here.

ooooh oooh... I had forgotten about the gulmohars blossoming in the blistering heat. The only good things about Indian summers (particularly Mumbai summers) I remembered were 'aam ras' and cool drinks to appease the parched throats. Thanks for reminding me of the truly 'glorious' scene of tall trees laden with the petite yet brightly colored flowers!

PS1: I have been living in Texas for the past 3 yrs and our summers are just starting. We suffer from June-Aug...when the rain Gods are showering their mercy on India!!

DOesnt necesseserily mean that. Maybe rahul was interested in politics and prinkya wasnt. Talent and ambition dont always go hand in hand you know. Priyanka must have preferred the family life better and she knows better about how politics caused her mom n grandmom to miss out of such stuff.

Priyanka has all the qualities of becoming a statesman. She carries an air of confidence and would naturally have been better bet in the political tamasha arena.

Rahul is a learner. He sounds like an outsider in politics even though he has been around for some time now. Like the gaffes made at the press conf on tuesday.

Either - Sonia is a true Indian mother and like every mother - has put the son ahead of the daughter? Or Ms.Priyanka wants life this way.

But there doesnt seem to be a sense in the slow orientation program that Rahul is going through. If he has to lead then why not start today. He could inspire lot of youngsters to vote atleast. And even otherwise, the decisions are made by Mom in anycase + the coterie as in any parliamentary democracy!

I went to vote today this was my first time, the good thing the process was quite streamlined it took me less than five minutes(no waiting in the line) but I don't understand why the names of the canditates were written only in vernacular, why not English as well?? on the EVM. Frankly it took me sometime to read and locate my candidate, could not read all the other names it would have taken long, although I have studied vernacular languages in school but I believe a lot of today's youth is not fluent in these languages because we donot use them in our daily lives.

priyanka has charm and sensuality, she is unpretentious and not apologetic for her statements. She is what id call paisa vasool conviction.

Rahul is sexy in his own way. but he doesnt score well in the conviction category. He stands on slippery ground. Dimple Boy, i read, has a foreign love connection like his dad. There are some other rumors doing its rounds... its unclear as of now, whether that firangi connection is a chokra or a chokri. (If it is chokra.. WOW!)

Italian Mommie: i respect her for the way she drapes her saari. She brings style and elegance to the congress party. Besides, i am in awe of her deciding to make india her home and take active part in india's politics. It takes a lot of self talk and belief in one self to actually do that. Yes, her hindi and her speech is tutored... but i guess if we are expecting her to speak untutored in Hindi... its like asking for too much.

Karunanadhi, well, whom are they trying to fool... i mean, we should actually have a 24 hour camera on him to record if he is really on a hunger strike. I know of many hunger strikes where people faint... but it is just an act. They sit on hunger stike with a full tummy.

Sanju, ohh! im sick and tired of him. I dont trust him a wee bit. I dont like people without a spine of their own.

Bhenji Mayawati, and Amma Jaya... Both are people whom I admire for the coy ploy ways. What wonderful strategists, they should be inthe corporate. Merger... Alliance... Break ups... They would do better than the indira nooyi's of the world.

Tryst With Destiny it is. :)

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Yes, it is so bloody hot. And we deserve this heat for the concrete jungle that we have created. Its high time that we make it mandatory for every building to plant and adopt a tree. If we donot protect teh environment... we will have more Tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanos happen... They will... earth has a threshold and we are tempting the earth to explode with our callousness.

We will react only when it happens...right?? the reactive (and not proactive) nation that we are!

I admire Jaswant Singh for standing up on controversial issues. Whether he is wrong or right...the guy has courage to speak up.

He called the the LAW IS AN ASS on distribution of money during election time. If Jaswant Singh's intentions were indeed good and he tried to help poor people then he is absolutely right. THE LAW INDEED IS AN ASS.

In my mind, SHAMEFUL AND CRIMINAL acts are by those in TV media where EVERY SINGLE DAY they show the distribution of money to needy person as criminal activity and show Jagdish Tytler's apology to sikhs to save his political life and wash his sins.

The old tradition of opium jalpaani in a rural area may be a criminal act. But what do you mean by unwashed masses?? That sounds like a CHEAP SHOT.

I think elites like Kareena Kapoor, Aishwarya Rai and many others who only drink wine with their elite fellows in a trendy restaurent and have a history of being humped by multiple men are more DIRTY AND UNWASHED than those masses who drink a glass of diluted opium.

You seems to be fascinated by Kareena...you said she has 4 generation of talent. If you remember these kind of women were used to be referred as Tawaaif/kalmuhi/Kulta in all our old classic bollywood movies which I guess people your age still love.

I have never been to Gorkha land but if a vast area is being neglected by government for a long time then a separate state can bring GOOD things to that area. The locals don't have to wait for the beaurocracy which has ignored them for decades. At worst the new state will be as bad as the rule of last 60 years.

Sometimes I wonder whether you spend enough time before you write on sensitive issues.

You may call yourself politically incorrect but many times I think your views are driven by the people you hang out with. Taking a shot at politician is easy...I do it all the time...but your pen seems to lose it's ink when writing and criticizing those in the media, movies and elite people.

Are you scared of writing against your own BIRADARI PEOPLE???

The moment you see this post, I am sure you will post a new column or some cut and paste from your article in newspaper/magazines. I hope my comments don't make you uncomfortable??

You may already be aware of these observations.1. Indira Nehru, daughter of Jawaharlal Nehru traveled to London for academic purposes.2. She met Feroze Khan, son of a Muslim father and a Parsi mother from Mumbai. They decided to get married.3. Jawaharlal Nehru was strongly opposed to the marriage and even approached GandhiJI. But this was to no avail and the young couple decided to go ahead and get married.4. Over the years, Jawahar and Feroze buried their differences, partially because he adopted not just the Gandhian philosophy but also the surname, thus giving rise to the omnipresent Gandhi on the Indian political scene.

Thus, Indira and her sons are all Sunni Muslims by virtue of marriage, irrespective of their monikers.

Rahul Gandhi and Sonia are also Sunni Muslims.

Varun Gandhi who landed up in jail for wanting to drive out Muslims is himself a Sunni Muslim :)

I'm actually sick of politics. I just want to close my eyes and pretend everything is spic and span.Importantly, not think. Wish we were animals sometimes, we could just be born, mate, breed and die.End of story. Oh.. the burden of thinking which doesn't let you be still!

Good news?? whats cooking?

Gazing at gulmohars ridden with the red blooms as I read this. Summer is definitely lovely! Lassis, ice creams and shakes :)

There are new entries for people who deserve latest round of thappads.

1) Lalit Modi - First he brought sl_tty cheerleaders to the game of cricket. Now he is allowing satta...over by over.

These PIMPS are the KINGS these days.

2) RGB/Amitabh Bachhan - Looks like MONEY is all that matters to these two clowns. They didn't even spare national anthem for CHEAP PUBLICITY. If a social activist twists national anthem you could have some respect for them. I never thought someone like Amitabh Bachhan will be so reckless with his love for Amar Singh and hunger for money.Someone should tell him..

Poot sapoot tto kyuon dhan sanchayPoot kapoot tto kyon dhan sanchay.

3) Congress dumps Moily for saying few bad words to Nitish Kumar. The same Nitish Kumar was untouchable since he is still with BJP.

Does the folks in Congress think that if Nitish Kumar joins Congress Nitish's party automatically becomes a secular party.Is that the definition of secularism???

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