August ... not sure how I feel ...

August 1st, 2014 at 09:54 am

I really think that I am losing any grasp on sanity that I had. August is here and that means that DH's last day is *this* month (why does that seem so much worse than *next* month). Please note: job opportunity presented to husband (went right to onsite interviews with multiple people) remains, but I don't want to jinx that opportunity and already mourned its loss twice. (Long story for another post).

I thought about taking the month off from blogging here and trying to divert my nervous energy elsewhere, but haven't committed one way or another to that concept (given this is brain dump here, or "where I try to hash it all out."

It doesn't help that August is a high spend month with back to school stuff, though we are doing only the minimum this year. If you've got markers from last year in last year's pencil bag, you're using those. And for my girls if they need text books for second semester, we'll buy those later (for electives). We've already benefitted from the kindness of others: hand-me-down uniforms for the girls (though I will need to buy one pair of black pants and a few oxfords), and school books, etc. Definitely trying to stay focused on the positive.

Books that I need to buy will go on DH's new Citibank card toward $1,500 spending for bonus.

August is a month filled with fun things: dance competition for the girls in Milwaukee which will have a visit with bro's x-gf, a baby shower, a day at Lake Michigan with our friends (though the list of guests is a lot larger than I am comfortable with - I imagine I can always bring a book and read), our foreign exchange student, etc. etc.

I've also dropped more pounds as I continue to run( a nice way to deal with some stress), and I've been through the closet and am left with what I like and what fits. And there are some major deficits for the fall/winter. I did score a great find yesterday - a $20 trench coat on FB's local garage sale page. I will try to post a pic of it:

Oh boy, am I mess. I do think I may remain here muddling my way through my angst. I clearly am not cut out for uncertainty. If you can spare any prayers for me and mine, I would be eternally grateful.

{i think that i am most concerned that if this doesn't work out for dh we are that much further away from growing our family through adoption and financial security - there, i said it. and i don't feel much better).

5 Responses to “August ... not sure how I feel ... ”

I really feel for you. I'm not good with uncertainty either. AS's job is ending this month too and so far the only interesting prospects have been freelance, so it looks like that's the direction she's heading. I can only hope she can replace her paychecks with freelance income.

I think you should stay here, a great place to vent! Definitely keep running for stress relief. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by school and it all creeping up so fast. Try to take one day at a time. We reused many school items from last year, including spiral notebooks with lots of paper left in them. There are even folders, with the punch holes that are torn that my daughter insists she can still use. I might look for more on clearance, because I think she will need them later in the year.

It sounds like you have many good things to enjoy and focus on this month. I agree, the back to school stuff is stressful. Just keep in mind it's only temporary (that's what I tell myself!), and by mid-Sept the routines are in place and things go more smoothly. I hope you stay here, too. I really enjoy reading your posts! I've been reading the SA blogs for about nine years, and decided to finally start commenting a few months ago, insert sheepish look here . Always interested in what you all have to say. You're doing an awesome job managing the hurdles. Prayers said for you and your family. It will work out!