ABOUT THE CONTENTS OF THIS TRANSCRIPT: This telepathic channeling has been taken from transcriptions of the weekly study and meditation meetings of the Rock Creek Research & Development Laboratories and L/L Research. It is offered in the hope that it may be useful to you. As the Confederation entities always make a point of saying, please use your discrimination and judgment in assessing this material. If something rings true to you, fine. If something does not resonate, please leave it behind, for neither we nor those of the Confederation would wish to be a stumbling block for any.

CAVEAT: This transcript is being published by L/L Research in a not yet final form. It has, however, been edited and any obvious errors have been corrected. When it is in a final form, this caveat will be removed.

Sunday Meditation

June 30, 1991

Group question: The question today has to do with the concept of how we deal with our emotions such as fear and anger, jealousy, feeling unworthy, feeling inept, any negative feeling that we have that has been with us for quite awhile and we’ve been working with. We’re wondering if, according to what Q’uo and Aaron had to say to us, that the most appropriate way of dealing with these negative emotions is to be able to accept the self and the emotion that we have when we have them so that there is no longer any feeding into the emotion by holding on to it longer, hoping that eventually, by being able to accept ourselves and the emotions when we have them, that there will be a falling away of these negative emotions. Is this the most skillful or appropriate way of dealing with negative emotions so that we are able to be more harmonious and more productive and feel more whole and complete in our small selves in this illusion?

(K channeling)

I am of the principle of Q’uo. Greetings, blessings, love and peace to each of you in the love and in the light of the one infinite Creator. We are most pleased to be speaking with your selves this sultry, beautiful, greening day which you allow us to enjoy as we temporarily use the senses of your own physical capabilities. Yet there is no beauty outside of each of you that can even be compared to the beauty that lies within each questing soul. As each gazes at the challenges of the present moment it is well to lift that gaze as if one were upon horseback, lifting up to get a different perspective, a bit of an overview, and the means of locomotion through the processes of loss, change and transformation.

You ask us about the living in an apparently imperfect, entirely flawed crystallized [state of] being without yourself, becoming vulgar, splintered and uncrystalline. Many there are among your peoples who feel that they have been broken by circumstance. The one known as K refers to these as the walking wounded.

Let us begin with this concept then. Have you personal knowledge of any entity whatsoever that is perfectly sure, with no spiritual arrogance of the meanings and the lessons to be learned from each challenge? You could not expect this skill of anyone. Cast about in your mind, in your heart, in the experiences that you have read and seen and heard and ask yourself, “Did this person live in the heaven of bliss and peace and joy which shines effulgently from the great heart of the creation, that great Sun which lies deeply within each of you?” To answer our own question, it is not to be hoped for or to be desired in a non-relative way for one who wishes to proceed along this beloved and dusty path, not with slowness nor with haste but with utter respect for the processes we know, each of us, that are taking place. For just as the fish must move at all times to breathe, so too the mind, having been fed its physical manna must then yearn for that divine touch of that heavenly food.

The attitude expressed in the question, that is, that one simply sits and accept the imperfect self in its apparent manifestation, is a good suggestion. Like many good suggestions from entities who know a great deal more that most third-density entities, it is, idealistically speaking, quite without error to say that the process of maturing is a process not of becoming better, not of becoming wiser, not of becoming more of any quality which you may judge within yourself or others but only of one thing: the patient persistence of faith.

So we describe each of us and you as being continually at the crossroads. To one who travels without imagination and without soul, streets, byways, lanes and highways are simply places for which to travel. However, to the spiritual seeker the ride is the experience not the destination. Each spiritual seeker has chosen to walk its own path with its own topography and terrain, its own blessings, challenges and seeming nuisances. Its own thanksgivings and its own pain.

To say that this is the human condition is vastly to overstate that generality. Yet it is true that if an entity is able to recognize more and more inwardly that the situation in this illusion will apparently be imperfection in memory, in the present and in the future, this creates a good start upon dealing with the pain and seeming destructive and negative characteristics of an ongoing spiritually based life. Each of you who is on this trail finds the dust beloved, finds the hard rocks and the wood splinters a cause for joy, for that person has found that which is worth the various inconveniences and seeming muddled confusion of the third-density illusion.

So firstly, my dear ones, each place yourself in this basic attitude of watching, observing and accepting everything about the self. Yet this is only a bare beginning from the first step outward into the abyss of mystery. There is often sometimes dramatically a shift in perception. To some entities this shift is extremely painful, for there is rigidity in character, and there are solidified opinions from feelings in the taking upon oneself of all the transient personality as if it were the character of the self.

So you see as you attempt consciously to live with emotions which do not seem appropriate to you there is only a small amount of spiritual work in consciousness that may be done upon the level of logic, analysis and hopes for doing better. Of these things alone is the mind and brain of your beautiful analyst equipped. Consequently, the hope of achieving comfort within, peace and self-assurance is a lost cause if it is pursued by the intention of attitude alone. For attitude is, until it has become you yourself, a piece of clothing to place between the vulnerable and naked self and the world which impinges so harshly many times upon the wounded seeker. Yes, all seekers are wounded.

The need to examine mystery goes not well with an attitude of complacency, comfort and mundane peace. Even as you ask yourself why so many seem to slip through life as if they were greased lightning while you the seeker, each of you, must again and again and again find oneself stuck, stopped completely by overwhelming catalyst. Catalyst which, because the world knows it not for the most part, is catalyst unique to you in a far more precise way than some superlatives. For each of you is unique in his or her way. Each of you, though aiming for the same destination, have plotted carefully to ensure, no matter how many detours are mistakenly taken, that within this incarnational experience the seeker will have ample opportunity to learn each lesson of love.

Thusly, as we move into the second part of our thoughts we simply suggest that each of you take away the cutting board upon which you slice yourself. Place the knife, cleansed and oiled, back in its sheath, for you are not now working with the tools, the power or the values of the mundane society in which you have chosen to experience this illusion of humanhood. Gaze as we leave the conscious minds dealing with spiritual progress as one would gaze upon the last days of a summer in childhood. These days are precious, yet they cannot be stopped or controlled. There would be the school the student must go back to. The job that the entity on holiday must take up again upon return from that holiday. There is, as far as we know it, no way past the ego, or perhaps more accurately, a self perceived as self without ego.

So in our quest to gaze at the most appropriate way to aid ourselves in our seeking for an attitude not skin deep but within the very marrow of each bone, within each pore that opens to the sunlight and the rain, within each sense that tells you of beauty, destruction, peace and confusion, consequently, the seeker must gaze beyond, beneath and around the negative emotions such as anger or fear. Gaze at them unblinkingly. Gaze at them lovingly. Yet how can an entity, no matter how much meditation, study, desire and training, really have a certainty and a surety that there will more and more be the feelings of wholeness and harmony of which you have spoken?

In this entity’s mind there is a quote from a poet named Yeats: “It just is that there is”—an almost bottomless and infinite self which each seeker is attempting carefully to build the roads that may take the feet to that place of rest amongst the discomforts, sorrows and losses of a life lived in faith.

Again and again the Creator calls you. Again and again you call for the Creator. And again and again you are distracted by the pains of living intensely. Because each is already a poem, a chosen path within this circle, we may be general and say that this is itself sufficient preparation for further work in consciousness.

The distinctions we are making are subtle and we ask for your patience. Indeed it is true that it is extremely helpful and informative to each seeker that he look carefully, humorously and undauntedly at each apparent lapse in faith, loss of hope, or disappointment within the life experience, be it with relationships with the society or as is most common, with the self. Your conscious mind simply cannot tell your subconscious mind that you are worthwhile and of the mistakes that you make are as much a virtue as the apparently unmistaken ways of acting which are part of your being and ours.

There is a life independent of the conscious mind, that part of the self that is a hologram of all of infinity. That self is as a sun and the experience of living the imperfect and wounded life is the experience, if we may use one of your myths, of Icarus flying too close to the sun. The feathers drop off, the structure melts, and the sun has been not benevolent but unwittingly destructive.

After one has properly devalued the information given by the analytical and curious mind of your physical vehicle, you may then place that attitude which governs behavior just where it should be: upon the behavior shelf to be brought out and used carefully and sincerely in gazing at various concepts which endear themselves to each of you. Then in order to grasp the means of coming to forgiveness of the self must needs be seen to be so far below the [level] of consciousness that there are no mental or emotional stairs which one may use to move from the house of illusion to the house of the infinite Creator.

Between this great central Sun and the experience of mundane living lies a great river of blessing, healing and pain. The structure of the subconscious mind, as you would call this portion of your field of consciousness, needs to be evoked layer by layer, layers as thin as the skin of an onion and sometimes layers that have a markedly saddening effect upon the seeker who is living through the inevitable changes and feelings of perceived failure which constitute the conscious perception of catalyst.

What are these intermediate subconscious levels? We chose to borrow the words of the one known as Aaron. There is much that occurs before a consciously generated mental formation may occur. The one known as Aaron simplifies this in a way which we feel is helpful so let us look at this process. Become aware now of your attitude posture, that is your true physical, mental and emotional states. Gaze at them. This is your unique beingness at this time, at this very moment. If this is who you are and if you are of the Father that is love, then you as a seeker know in some deep way that the apparent challenges of the incarnation are much like the scenery of the play for which you are the star.

As an actor expresses its lines again and again in front of your theater audiences the actor begins to become more and more aware of the true nature of that character or person which the actor wishes to portray. So that after repeating the same two hours or three of lines said, movements made, and emotions expressed, the wholeness of this mentally and emotionally crafted persona becomes more and more nearly complete. Cast yourself therefore as an actor. You do not need to change the play, to alter the script. You need simply to be as faithful to the character you perceive as yourself as possible. This acceptance of the self, although it may begin intellectually, begins to open the doors into that portion of the subconscious mind that may aid you in dealing in a joyful and peaceful manner with the many things which within your illusion seem to be challenging, difficult or even despairing.

Sit now and feel your body, your head, your gently resting eyes, your lassitude as you wait alertly but patiently for the hope of some germ of truth that we may offer to you that may be of help. This is your play. We have a far subordinate position in this play. It is yours. Each occasion upon which the self sees itself as angry or in fear, one—we correct this instrument—each then moves back into the reading of the script so far, into the nuances that have been found so far within the message of the play in between the lines and the emotions generated by the drama which is neatly tied up in a play in five acts or less.

Upon your own stage it is far better to see that the play will run indefinitely and that you will have every chance every day to create an openness and spaciousness of spirit and glee that allows the Creator to play in the summer sunlight of your open mind and heart.

Let us move back to perception. Again we thank the one known as Aaron for creating a simple way to express ourselves in terms of dealing with disappointments. Imagine that you are seated in the midst of a busy public place, perhaps awaiting one of your modes of transportation in its scheduled departure. You have brought with you something that is absorbing and as you sit amongst the hubbub and turmoil of the many, many unsettled entities and the many, many emotions, these do not confine you. In you there is no turmoil, no hubbub. You have the correct time. You have your ticket. You are ready to climb aboard for your journey. And so you read your book or do something else which is equally absorbing and the hubbub and turmoil is not there.

Were you to be regressed, as you call it, by hypnotism to that scene, you would be able, in a deep enough state of trance, to remember precisely all that has occurred while you were reading the book. However, as far as the conscious mind is concerned, there has been no stimulus but the book. So the first flaw in hoping that by taking thought one may become more skillful, one may see that there is no hope of beginning from the outside in, in a truly objective way.

Now let us say that the book has been absorbed and you have the consciousness of reading that book. Do you yet have an attitude? We suggest to you that you do not yet have an attitude. For you have been impressed with certain thoughts and certain feelings, certain resonances and rhythms which are at one level or as many as you wish to embrace. But firstly, there is the choosing amongst all sense impressions of that which will come at highest priority into the consciousness of your heart and soul. The perception itself is a narrowing of the infinite Creation.

(Side one of tape ends.)

(K channeling)

With the experience of polarization what opinions and biases have each brought to the naked perception already clothed somewhat? It can only add further clothing, further coverings, further defenses, and further distortions. For each entity is intended to be biased. These biases, though they cause a great amount of pain, are spiritually desirable. Not that one would seek out difficulties or challenges, but that in a challenging situation one may see clearly that one’s own previous biases, one’s own prioritizing of consciousness and one’s own sense impressions do a tremendous amount of distorting to what each would hope to be a life lived in full consciousness of love.

The last thing which occurs in this process as it moves up through the subconscious mind is the formation within the mind of a response to this heavily flawed perception. At that point you are again dealing with the conscious mental formations familiar in the mundane world. However, if you have been careful to see the processes which precede actual mental impressions you may gauge them lightly without rancor or judgment. Not because you wish to advance, not because it is wise but because it is a kind of habit, a way of stepping just a bit back, of getting just a bit of height. And seeing not only that mental formation that feels so painful but seeing also with utmost compassion, the weary, weary walker who must heave himself up in the saddle from time to time and say to itself, “I am grateful for this horse and grateful for this body and grateful for these pains and joys and I wish to look at each of them as a good part of myself.”

We have focused today on the details of perception, for your query has to do with the process of perception. Entities realize, for the most part, that they cannot anticipate or understand other entities’ every action and word. However, in terms of you within this physical incarnation, you are in the position of attempting to understand and accept an entity that is noticeably distanced from your true self. This standpoint or point of view is not helpful in terms of its being used as a tool to create the desisting and the ceasing of painful emotions so that one may somehow come out upon the pleasant valley of enlightenment. Can you see now what folly it is to expect or even consider the possibility of, by taking any thought whatsoever, releasing the self from the fears and the anger with which it has fueled its very seeking?

Thus we may say yet consciously observe the anger, the temper, the emotional dyspepsia. But at the same time open the door of the threshold of the deep mind by whatever means creates in you the sense of approaching and going through a door that is holy, a door wherein you are protected, bathed in light. And whether you can feel it or not, be healed little by little of each and every perceived pain. Keep that door open. De-emphasize to the extent appropriate for the individual personality all consciously received data and move beyond words, beyond judgment, and beyond the self into the point of view that sees all things as acceptable and not only acceptable but glorious. Each of you is an epic. Each within third density chooses some form of drama. Some are stuck with charades for they know not how to be but only to behave.

And so some move through the incarnation creating behaviors, speeches and attitudes designed to manipulate the environment for comfort and security. This is not your path. In your path you have truly broken yourself and offered that sacrifice of heart and soul and mind to the one infinite Creator. As you rest back in that relationship know that the “I Am,” “that is all that there is,” is you.

Know that you are not simply a pawn moving about on some cosmic checkerboard—we correct this instrument—chessboard, this instrument is not good at games. Take the mind off of the moving pieces, the stratagems, and the ploys. Gaze at your situation more and more without judgment, indeed, embracing the seemingly difficult, negative or challenging situation. This positive action of love is as a healing balm as the true nard [1], the true salve, the true healing ointment of [Gilead]. This is not a gift you can give yourself. You can only open yourself to the opportunity.

Each of you, each entity within the third-density physical being, will experience a vast and constant irritation if that entity is a seeker and a sensitive one. Yet you have, day upon day, week upon week, and year upon year, a rising to the play. Each day the performance is unique; the audience sometimes cold and sometimes sympathetic; the lines felt not from the heart or felt completely from the heart. How various experience seems, my friends. Yet you are simply doing the day’s work in consciousness by giving this seemingly hypocritical persona the very best work that you can do as an actor, learning the motivations, gazing at the patterns, reading between the lines of your lifetime.

Let a time fall upon you as twilight falls upon the grass at the end of a golden summer day. Let your selves be as lush meadows, welcoming and drinking in the feeling of love, loving and being loved, for in love we are without judgment.

We realize that this has been a bare beginning but this instrument is requesting that we close this session before too much longer. We are afraid this will be an ongoing difficulty with this contact, that is that this entity is in a state where it does not have an awareness of a time flow but is rather in a place of utterness which does not have the characteristics of time and space. If this is acceptable to you we shall simply continue until we hear through this instrument’s ears the recording equipment stating in its unthinking way that forty-five of your minutes have passed.

Perhaps we may learn to be shorter in our seeking. But for the most part we ask your patience in allowing us to, in order to leave this instrument on its stead in its sincere work free from the necessity of attempting to keep part of the consciousness upon the level upon which time holds sway.

You stand, each of you, upon a play stage—we correct this instrument—upon a stage. What is the nature of your play? How long has this been running? Has it been a success on Broadway? Did it die in Boston? Are you on the road with it? Over the hill touring the provinces? Appearing in Saskatchewan? It is still your play and you have every reason to attempt always to move through that play so authentically that the play becomes a poem and the poem becomes a life, and the life becomes a presence of love to love. May you encourage, exhort, support and cherish each other. For you have chosen the high road. The road that is the wisest. The road that is the most seemingly barren.

May you make peace with your decision to join the confederation of all consciousness. May you find yourself, even when most weary, ready to lay down that particular load and rest. Not to a place where you may be consoled and healed and have your work finished, but so that you can get a restful kind of consciousness unrivened by the carings and strivings of mundane difficulty.

These things are among your choices in each moment. To some we would say it is well to use the intellect to attempt to spot and work with mental formations before they become toxic. But remember also that each of you is already toxic. For there is in earth not sterility but a growing living soil for both the good and the bad vine. What is your choice? Which part of that vine of self that begins in the Creator and moves only up to you as the fruit of the vine will be for you at that moment the way in which to ventilate the pain, difficulty or the darkness with the spacious light of a faithful life?

We would now close this session and would offer the communication to the one known as Jim and if that entity does not wish to work this day we are most grateful if the one known as K would wish to use more discussion time. We shall attempt at this time therefore, with many thanks to this instrument, to transfer the contact to the one known as Jim. We leave this instrument in great joy. We will transfer now. We are of the principle of Q’uo.

(Jim channeling)

I am Q’uo, and we greet each again through this instrument. We realize that your patience, your ability to rest comfortably in your positions have been tested by the length of our (inaudible). We would ask if there may be any queries to which we may speak before we take leave of this group?

Questioner:(Inaudible).

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. Each, both consciously and subconsciously, already does this but the sending of such energy to the most efficacious would be done in a carefully conscious fashion where the energy does seem to be entering through the crown chakra and moving through all centers of energy for the instrument. This done as a visualization will aid the contact in that we also move through the crown chakra and activate primarily the blue-ray center. The balanced configuration of the entity seen in the visualization and seen to be receiving the energy entering through the crown and moving to all portions of its physical vehicle would be a means whereby the instrument could be aided not only in its physical comfort but the contact could be aided as it moves through the instrument.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Questioner:(Inaudible).

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. We would recommend that this energy be seen as that which is universal, is drawn from the ethers or the cosmos as you may term it, but that would be seen to be flowing from infinity into the crown chakra, moving through the physical vehicle in a downward fashion so that each center of energy was bathed in light and the energy was also seen to be exiting as it travels through the arms and legs to exit the hands and the feet. And this seen as a washing of the instrument’s physical vehicle in general and, in particular, a washing and energizing of the energy centers or chakras.

Is there a further query, my sister?

Questioner:(Inaudible).

I am Q’uo, and we are most grateful to you as well, my sister. Not only your patience and your persistence but also your querying in this area for it is an area that is not unique to you but is shared by all seekers who travel this journey long enough to find that there is the necessity of facing the self and accepting the self with all of the characteristics that have been added to the experience for the purpose of enhancing the learning, the tempering, and the serving.

Is there a further query at this time?

Questioner:(Inaudible).

I am Q’uo, and am aware of your query, my sister. If you feel with urgency that this is a portion of the workings then we would recommend that you follow that feeling and undertake to create such a circumstance. However, it is our observation that if these sessions are to be offered to any entity which walks through your door, that you not undertake such efforts. For this could easily be misperceived as that activity which sets you apart from those who join you for these sessions. If it is your desire to work only as a triad of working, this would be well.

Is there a further query?

Questioner: No, thank you very much.

I am Q’uo, and we thank you as well, my sister, for offering yourself with such ample heart. For these workings we are honored and greatly overjoyed at the opportunity of speaking through this group and for the ability to utilize your instrument. We shall take our leave at this time thanking each again and leaving each in love and in light. We are those of Q’uo. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.

[1] Nard is an ointment prepared in part from Nardostachys Jatamansi, an East Indian plant of the Valerian family.