She also blamed the ghosts of the victims of 9/11. She blamed the fact that I’d worked in Lower Manhattan for two years, inhaling all those thirteen-year-old fumes from the fallen Twin Towers. She blamed my urban “lifestyle” of eating out at restaurants. She blamed my daring to leave the Bay Area suburbs where I grew up. She blamed my wife’s preference for turning up the heat in the winter. Buoyed by the infallible teachings of her favorite TV medical practitioner, Dr. Oz, she blamed my diet. She assumed I must have done something to bring a rare blood cancer, myelodysplastic syndrome, upon myself.”

“HI, I’M ARNIE CHANK, FOUR-TERM SENATOR of our great state of M—. This presidential primary season has been marred by the usual cynicism and incessant criticism of our federal government and its waning ability to solve the problems of the American people. There’s gridlock in Washington. Partisan rancor is at levels we’ve never seen. I get it. You get it. Hell, the UFOs get it. And I admit that, on many of the average of ninety-four days per year I’ve actually shown up to work to represent the great people of The Urchin State, I’ve been part of the problem, not the solution.

But today, I’d like to send a message to the American voter. Hear me now for words will neither be minced nor julienned.

It’s all so laughably awful, but for the fact that, you know, the actual fate of our Republic is at risk. As we wait for this latest crisis-slash-scandal to shake out, here is a list of great books about terrible families.”

I have three pieces of flash fiction up in FLAPPERHOUSE #14. “Investment Vehicle,” “Season’s Greetings (Everything Will Be Fine)” and “Vote for Arnie” are part of a novel-in-flash-in-progress set in a wild and crazy near-future America, not unlike the current-future version.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

A MacDowell Colony Fellow, Leland Cheuk authored the novel THE MISADVENTURES OF SULLIVER PONG (CCLaP, 2015) and the story collection LETTERS FROM DINOSAURS (Thought Catalog, 2016). His work has been covered in VICE, The Millions, and The Rumpus, and has appeared or is forthcoming in publications such as Salon, Catapult, Kenyon Review, Prairie Schooner, and elsewhere. He is the fiction editor at Newfound Journal. He lives in Brooklyn.