So, you're
here then. I'll assume you're a perfectly nice person. I'm
often wrong, but I do prefer to at least pretend.

I've
got this thing about hacking the
US national food industry. It all started one bright sunny
day en
tiempos muy remotos in a land far away. Actually, the land
was
about eight miles from here. There I was, bright-eyed and bushy-haired,
minding my own business and reading the contents of a box
of Pasta RoniŪ
Fettucini Alfredo, which was one of my favorite
things. I was aware it was nothing more than ordinary pasta
with
a flavor packet that somehow magically and mysteriously formed a sauce
when milk is added. Quaker Oats didn't even have the
common decency to include powdered
milk in the flavor packet. Those sauces. There must be
something
terribly arcane about them that only a true magician could master. I
grew
up thinking industry and acomplished chefs had the lockdown on the
secret of
sauces.

* ding *

It occurred to me in that moment, maybe I could learn the mystery of
sauces. I could learn the origins
of all these convenience foods, why, if I tried, I could probably
learn the origin off all
foods as their beginnings have been obscured by industry; bread and
cheese and pasta, milkshakes and
smoothies, pancakes and crepes,
and even pie! I betchya cakes didn't even originally come out
of
a box. I would have to
learn about spices, the chemistry of eggs and the techniques of
applying heat. I could learn about leaveners and the effect of altitude
and of pressure. This was
one of my greater epiphanies. I had a lot of reverse learning
in
store for I grew up in a Hamburger HelperŪ and potato flakes household,
one that favored convenience foods -- pudding out of cups and Uncle
Ben's™
reconstituted rice -- reconstituted from what? -- school cafeterias
where fruit cocktail came out of #10 cans.

It makes me a little bit sad all over again just thinking
about it.

Presently
I prepare 98% of my own food, and take photos of most of my efforts. I
do this
because I'm pleased with the food-philosophy I'm developing and
I'm attempting to share the things that I've learned.

So there's that.

I'm
fond of making satirical animated GIFs, some with unwieldy file sizes
and
sometimes within tables, most are silly, sardonic and often a little
bit
dark. Mum, bless 'er, would grimace at my language. They're
not for everybody.

I also make pop-up cards
for my family and
friends. They appear careless and sketchy which enhances
their
charm and belies the thought and labor behind them. They're
totally off
the wall and full of win, usually apropos of nothing at all.

These
things along with my photography and paintings and such are collected
on my web sites and on my blogs . Please
feel free to wander
about, there are no ads to muddle your navigation.

Egyptian hieroglyphic finder. Construct phrases in hieroglyphics by English prompts. Images
of hieroglyphic writing, both hand-written and produced in JSesh
uploaded to Coppermine photo gallery to avail its reliable "search"
feature. A basic understanding of the alphabet is useful as well as the
conventinal designations for sounds foreign to English.

For
whatever it's worth to you, I'm a
single bloke living in Denver. I have no children,
although I do adore them and have nothing against any of that.
I've earned a BSBA
through Regis University and my scores were admirable, even if my
friends claim those were just a prolonged series of flukes -- don't
listen to them, they know nothing of my life in Academialand.