Sunday, April 16, 2006

War on life!

Ok, I just read one too many stories on wars on things that "kill" people. The most recent one was talking about a war on junk food. I'm not going to defend junk food as being reasonable, or even edible. What I have a problem with is the concept of looking at what's killing people and declaring war on it. What's next? The war on old age? That's just way too logan's run...

If we're going to go down this road then I say lets declare a war on life. As age increases the mortality rate of being alive approaches 100%. I think we can solve this whole mortality rate of life thing by just not producing any more. Just think about it. Every person that is not born doesn't have to die! We'll get planned parenthood onboard with this. It'll be great! If everyone stops reproducing it will also take care of this overpopulation thing I keep hearing about too. That solves even more problems. No birth means no death, and once we all finish this business of dying alone in our old age (no kids to take care of us) the environment will be able to go back to taking care of itself.

Now for the hard part... This requires a very passionate celibacy for all! Now, doesn't that sound exciting?

Now seriously, wars on things don't work. They just get funding. For some reason we equate a war with getting something done. Never mind if what you're doing is just hurting people by limiting their choices or by much more painful things like sending them to jail for doing something foolish in the first place. *cough* smoking pot *cough*.