Your Pet Loss Diaries

'Rex & Tricia'

11 Days Out - I Miss Rex

25th Nov 2008

I got a very sweet letter from Joe, and I want to say thank you. Kind words are so welcome and I really need them. Wanted to reply to you, but could not figure out how.

It has been eleven days and and I am so sad, work is helping me to focus my mind in other places, but when I stop - it hurts.

I try so much to never let it cross my mind, like some how I can outrun the pain and grief. And wishing by the time it catches up with me these raw feelings will be easier to deal with.

Right now looking at his urn, I picked it up, a cold wooden box has replaced a soft furball of love. But somehow having his remains at home with me comforts me at the same time. We were only apart a few times in all those years and I wanted his remains to still be "with me."

Looking at his collar and tags that made the jingling sounds all the time, oh I miss that, I am guilty of picking them up and jingling them myself. Looking at the videos I made and one I hadn't seen in a while made me cry. I was outside in the driveway taking video of something, out comes my Brother carrying Rex and as he gave him to me he said "Rex wants you" so here he is.... I Was just thinking what was Rex doing?? Was he standing at the screen door whining for me so much it got on his nerves. Oh Rex loved me!

Rex was a sweet dog, loved cats, even birds was never mean to anyone around me. He just had a passive, sweet, loving and accommodating personality.

The one or two rare occasions Rex was not with me, I had to go out of town for a week and a very trusted friend kept him, but I called like a frantic Mother all the time! Rex was grieving for me, would not eat much, rarely drank and only got up when he had to, mainly when he heard a car and waited for the door to open then laid back down.

When I got back the same night I took him to the emergency Vet to get IV fluids. He was up and about and the next day happy as a lark! My friend said "Rex would of died of grief if you had not come back."

I hope this gets easier and I am still waiting to have that dream of holding him. One day at a time, one breath at a time...I loved Rex with my soul.