Talk to God the Creator and Father

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Lord thank You for the wonderful girls, for keeping them safe and providing for them. Its been a while and nothing has changed apart from me being more of a useless idiot than I was before. I miss my girls so much and have to many regrets in my life. I regret I could have been more assertive, more of a hard worker, more thoughtful, more motivated, more driven, more courageous, a better father and husband and son to not only my parents but also to you. I regret not being able to make it work and giving all my girls a better life and family, I regret not being able to say goodbye in person to my mom and do really miss her. Lord I really need Your help to be more motivated, to guide me on the right path to provide better, to be a better father and husband. You keep performing miracles for me and everytime without fail I go and let You down.Lord why do I never learn the lessons You try to teach me. I believe in You even though it might not always seem so, I truly believe You are with me, I just pray that I could hear You. I would love more than anything to sit down and be able to really talk to You and Jesus, its a crazy feeling but something that I really pray I could do. Lord I ask that You show me the right way yet again and help me to not let You down yet again. Lord I ask in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

Lord I am not sure what to do right now. I dont deserve to ask You for anything and to be truthful I wouldnt blame you at all for turning Your back on me after all the times I have asked You for help, You have helped me only for me to turn my back on You and not follow through with the opportunities You have given me. Lord I ask for my girls that You help me get these opportunities going and they work out. Lord I ask in Jesus name for You to forgive me one last time. Lord I love you and thank You. Amen

It seems that I am on this broken record again. You give me what I need and want and yet again I go and mess up and like usual each time is worse than the one before. Lord what is wrong with me. Why am I like this and why do I keep doing it. Why do I keep messing thing up that You give me. I turn my back on You, think I can do things my own way, mess them up then come crying back to You. Lord I don’t even want to ask for Your help anymore. I don’t deserve it anymore. I actually don’t even know what to say to You anymore. I am so sorry but that sounds so empty after what I have done. How can I keep asking You to help me when I do the same thing over and over again. Lord each time things are worse than the time before but I never learn. I love my girls so much and miss them so terribly, all 4 of them. I don’t know anymore Lord I really don’t. All I can say is that I am so sorry, to You and to all of them. Amen

I am sorry I messed everything up. It was a miracle that You gave me. The perfect job with a great salary and even in the city and country I wanted and would have been back with the ones I love, my beautiful girls and I messed it all up. Lord I don’t know what is wrong with me. Whenever You give me what I ask for I seem to mess it up. I am such a slack useless fool and keep on letting You and my incredible family down. Lord I know I don’t deserve it but I am praying for You to help me. Help me to get better, to do Your will and to provide a decent future for my family. Lord I pray this in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen

Wow that conversation with my little girl really pulled the heart strings. Lord I am so sorry I have failed You and them. Oh Lord life is such a mess. Lord please help me give them what they deserve and what they should have. Lord please give her strength. Please help me to find a way so they can study and make something of their lives. Lord I beg You to please give me one last chance. Jesus one last miracle please and give me a chance to prove that I can be a better person even though I don’t deserve it. I ask in Jesus name. Amen.

Please forgive me, I have messed up again so badly. I have destroyed my girls futures by being so slack and not doing the things I should have when I had the chance. Lord I feel physically ill thinking of what I have done to them. Oh Lord you gave me this miracle and gave us all what we had wanted and what I prayed for and I messed it all up again. Lord I let You down and I let them down and now I just don’t know what to do. Jesus I am so totally useless and don’t want to be like this. I want to be able to provide them with everything they deserve and now it looks like there is no chance to stay here and get them over here which means that the chance for a great future I was hoping they would have has gone. Jesus I deserve to have nothing but they deserve to have everything. They are such incredible girls with such good hearts and do so much for others without expecting anything in return. If I had just done what I should have and not done what I shouldn’t we wouldn’t be in this situation right now. They would have been over here with me going to study like they want to and deserve to. Lord I am such a failure and I don’t want to be. I just don’t know what to do anymore and don’t know how to make it right. I need another miracle but don’t deserve one. I need another chance but don’t deserve one. If I was You I wouldn’t give me another chance so I don’t expect one but pray that You do. It all seems so hopeless and it looks like this is really the end. If they lose what they have then that will be the end. Lord I know I need to do something but just don’t know what. I love them all so much and want to be with them and give them what I should have all this time. I have been away from them for so long and missed out so much of their lives and I am so sorry about that. I haven’t been there when they were growing up and I cant take it anymore. I don’t want to miss out on any more of their live. Oh Lord I ask in Jesus name that You please help me somehow. You know what is best so please tell me or show me what I need to do to serve You and to serve them and to be the son that You deserve and the father that they deserve. I hate this hopelessness and want to get better. Lord I pray this in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.

I really want to get away from any sin and have a better life for my girls. Lord I am missing them so much and really want them to be here with me. I want to be with them and if it means back there then so be it but Lord there is not much future there, Lord I confess and repent of my sins and want to lead a better life. I ask in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ to please help me. Lord please also help me to find a job before we run out of money. Lord if I need to sell my car I will and can but it would make things more difficult. I pray that You help me. I have faith and trust in You but need You to tell me what to do, tell me the right thing to do which will honour Your name. Lord please help. I love You Lord. Amen.

Lord in the times I need You most I seem to forget about You. Lord this isnt doing me any good. I need to get back with You and let You into my heart again. Jesus this is such a bad and trying time when I really need You and I have been so slack. Please help me to get my butt into gear so I can save my family, the ones I really want to be with and around. I am asking You to come back into my life and help me. I ask this in the name of Your son Jesus Christ who died for worthless sinners like me.

Why am I such an idiot. Why do I keep messing up everything especially all the good things You give me. Why cant I learn from my mistakes and be better. I am so tired of crying and having a heavy heart. Why cant I give them what they deserve. My life is such a mess and I have dragged them down with me. They deserve so much more. They are such wonderful kind hearted girls who deserve the world and I cant even give them an education much less a father that they deserve. I have spent so much time away from them and I love them so dearly. I hate the fact that I have missed so much of their lives and not been there for them. Oh Lord this isn’t right. Why is this happening to me. I am not perfect but I am far from being a bad person. Do I really deserve this, do they? Jesus please talk to me and tell me what I must do to make it right. I don’t want to spend more time away from them and really want them here where they will all have better opportunities but now I have messed that up to. Even of I do find another job here that will sponsor me, it is another 2 years before I can apply for PR and to be away from them for another 2 years is way to long, I don’t know if I can do it. There are no jobs back there, wether the policies are right or wrong is immaterial. I can go to the other country but that is also not the future I want to give them. Oh Jesus this was all perfect. You gave me everything and I messed it up for nothing. I destroyed the most beautiful woman who I have always loved and wanted to be with. I know she thinks I have done things I haven’t and that hasn’t made it easy but she was not just the love of my life but my best friend. I don’t want anyone else and will never again find anyone nearly as good as her. She deserve more. Jesus my 2 girls are the most incredible young women any father could ask for and I haven’t been able to give them anything. They deserve to study, they deserve a future and I haven’t given them that and don’t see how I can. My little granddaughter whom I have only spent a couple of months with is such a beautiful little girl and has no future because of me. Lord doesn’t she deserve a chance. Lord I trust that You have a plan and ask that You please just reveal it to me so I have some hope. I have no idea at all of what to do now and know I need to trust You but every time I trust You and You provide I manage to mess it up and I have no idea why You would help me know. Lord it is me I don’t trust not You. Maybe I need this to teach me a lesson but if I haven’t learnt yet why would I learn now. Lord we have been through so much, there has been so much sadness and not enough joy. Lord I ask that You help them, forget about me but please I pray that You find a way to give them what they deserve. Lord Your Son died for a fool like me and I don’t deserve that, I don’t deserve anything but they do. It is all my fault and I have to live with the guilt of messing up their lives. Lord please show me the way out of this mess and back to them. I love You Lord. Amen.

Lord I don’t deserve anything but ask for Your help anyway. Lord You gave me everything I asked for. My family back, great job in the city and country I asked for and I messed it all up for nothing. What a stupid mistake. I could have made it right by not putting off the PR application and now look. Losing my job I have now lost that opportunity to give my family a better future. Oh Jesus why did I do that, why did I not do it when I should have. It would have been so simple and things wouldn’t be so bad now. It could have just been looking for another job yet now it is looking for another job where I can get sponsored and the start of another 2 year wait which will be to long for the family even though they don’t want it after the first thing I did wrong. Lord why am I such an idiot. My whole life has just been one mess after another. They deserve so much more than I can give them. I really cant believe what an stupid fool I have been. I don’t know why, maybe it is the fear of failure, maybe it is because whenever something good happens I manage to do something to mess it up and that has made me to scared to try anything. Lord God I just don’t know anymore. If I could start again Lord things would be so different. I know you performed that miracle and gave me the second chance and I blew it so why should You give me another but if I could go back right to the beginning I would do everything so differently. Lord I really don’t want to carry on like this anymore. Please talk to me, tell me what to do, tell me how to get out of this mess I have made. I pray that I could not just hear You but learn to listen to You. Lord I know I don’t deserve it but they do. They are really good, incredible girls with such good hearts. If they don’t believe in You it is not their fault, it is mine for all the bad I have done has turned them away from You. Lord please don’t punish them as they really don’t deserve it. If You need to punish me please do so, I welcome it but just give them something to smile about and the chance at a better future than they have had so far. Lord I ask in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.