Slavishly serving up nuggets of ridiculous bullshit, spewn forth from my horrendously polite and correct porcelain god from beyond the grave of the stars - Commodeus. Then, some cookies and punch. The blood and teeth flavored kind.If it isn't PAINFULLY obvious to you, Shit my Toilet Says deals with Parody, Dark/Sick Humor, and general Weird-Ass subject material. If you want to get all butthurt about it - please kindly GO FUCK YOURSELF. Consider this your TRIGGER WARNING.

BTNotice

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I think I might be Dyslexically Dyspeptic.

I tried to read "Green eggs & ham" once... ONCE. I have this problem though.

Every time I try to read, I end up with epic vertigo, and hallucinations of sword fights with lowercase j's using lowercase i's as guns, and lowercase u's as magnets. The outcome is always the same - they magnetically steal my sword with ghetto gusto, and shoot me in the face. I end up in a puddle of my own vomit doing the worm.

It might have something to do with my diet, but I really don't know what color it is anymore.

Possible Shit To Go On About

DIYConspiracy - Free IlluminatiMason Bergerbuilder Lizard people stole my butt donut, and are using it to control the stock prices of Krispy Creme! FOR GREAT FALSE FLAG, INSIDE JOB TERROR!

Strictly 'Mershal - Advertise! Your FAKE products and services here! GOD HELP YOU if they are real!

Inferiority Complex - Why your superiors are suppressing your ultimate star dick from the women/men folk, and why you are superior to them.

Stalk U - Dating advice from the creepy.

Morality Mountain - God's God-fearing chosen few, destined to rule over all you sinful filthy peons. The TRULY moral live atop mountains - not ivory towers. Because ivory is the color of semen, and towers are phallic - which inspires sodomy.