You are definitely confusing me with someone who doesn't think Roguelikes are the true folly of man laid bare

It is turn-based, but sometimes, when things go bad fast, I make poor decisions in an effort to escape the situation I'm suddenly in. The accidentally-switched-to-pistol thing happens more often than I care to admit, but that's less me being hasty and more it not being terribly clear what gun is selected on the GUI (there's a little box in the bottom right)

No matter how hot shit gets, the commander has to stay cool as a cucumber and not-at-all affected by the hideous dismemberment of his friends.I mean, that thing went from bad to unsalvageable when you panicked. Not when any of the squaddies did.

<myew> Http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111226084853/finalfantasy/images/f/f3/theatrhythm_anima.png look at imgur, am familiar with that much space that it looks like i just got my second favorite adc under vayne.

Disaster, a few missions later. I ended up re-starting. Then re-starting again. Then, again.

> NEW GAME START

This time we're in Africa, because I get a 30% funding increase and I need to not be in perpetual poverty if I'm going to make it anywhere in this game.

I've also started retreating a lot more, being more patient, and luring enemies into overwatch traps. It's been a lot more successful than before.

Further, I turned off the Slingshot DLC, because even when I survived that first mission by the skin of my teeth, the second mission wiped out my team a second time. The DLC gives good bonuses, but the cost is too high.

Things have been going well. We've captured a sectoid, floater, and an Outsider, as well as determined the location of a subterranean alien base. I start loading up on expensive armor and laser weapons for the incursion, when... this happens.

As if we didn't have enough on our hands with this whole "alien genocide" biz, the Illuminati show up.

Exalt is the counter-XCom, a secret society whose council are rivals of our own. Their shadowy brokers want alien tech and artifacts just as much as ours does, but there ain't enough room in this world-saving game for two players.

They hacked 64 double dollars out of my checking account, which probably would have been more if I had any more money. Thankfully, I am almost always completely broke. I dare not buy anything for the covert operation lest my bank's overdraft fees shut down the XCom project.

I deployed Ted Belmont to live as they live, and learn their ways.

Time to pick her up.

As an aside, Büge's character is cute as a button. She speaks and swears in French, and after this mission, I give her a little beret.

Mission is to defend the comm replay from Exalt hackin', which I suppose is a variant on king of the hill. In Enemy Unknown, you never defended anything, so this is a pretty cool addition.

We go right.

Mongrel's outfitted with the latest lightweight armor I just finished researching. It gives you the same damage resistance as the power armor, while letting you SHOOT A GODDAMN GRAPPLING HOOK

weeee

Buge follows.

While Mongrel and Buge take to the roof, Zara, Brentai, and Niku move in through the front.

We catch our first glimpse of Exalt, and they're... hrm!

The dapper reptilihybrid technovangelists of /r/CultofSirius.

They clip through a wall and scatter into position. The thing about Exalt is that they have all the abilities you do, as well as a few genetic mods that give them the ability to regenerate, sense movement, leap up and down 3+ story buildings, and emit pheromones that grant aggression boosts to nearby comrades.

I don't really know how to tell who has what power, but there's probably some kind of indicator I've never noticed.

Brentai tries his newfound Rapid Fire ability, which lets him take two shots at an enemy instead of one.

First shot nails him for 9 damage.

Dang.

Second shot drops him.

Niku tries for the next closest redditor.

Takes out the wall instead.

Exalt turn.

Assault guy banks a smoke grenade awkwardly off the desk, putting it well behind him.

He seems pleased.

His buddy goes into overwatch, waiting for me to move in.

Brentai has less than a 30% hit chance at this angle, so he moves in.

His other newfound ability is Lightning Reflexes, which makes him impossible to hit with overwatch.

For some reason, he turns to face the street and moves into the building ass-first.

We are treated to a shot of our foe firing uselessly into Brentai's ass as he shimmies about in cartoonish defiance.

His dance completed to satisfaction, Brentai somehow whiffs two shots at close range.

Niku moves up, and melts his face off.

Zara takes the slain redditor's spot and tries for a low-percentage shot.

It is absolutely brutal, dropping him to 2 health in one hit.

Friendzoned again by his fellow alphas, he runs for cover inside a closet.

Meanwhile, outside, Mongrel spots a group of enemies behind the building, but has to drop from the roof to get a decent full-cover angle on them.

He sticks the nozzle of his rifle through the chainlink fence and fires.

Hitting for 5.

Back in the building, the alpha blows up at Niku for driving him into the closet. He hurts her feels (and body, with a grenade) for 3.

Outside, we hear a helicopter as reinforcements airdrop behind the police cruiser.

And two more.

Mongrel gets cozy, picking off the wounded exalt from a distance.

Back inside, Niku shakes off the debris and rounds the corner.

Putting down the alpha with his pistol like Old Yeller.

Outside, the first of the new arrivals bolts for the HACK ZONE

Buge is ready for him. He takes an overwatch shot.

And whiffs.

She yells merde! in what is perhaps the cutest thing to ever happen on the battlefield.

He moves inside.

Zara also takes and misses a reaction shot.

Our turn again.

Outside, Mongrel continues to ruin the rear team's weekend.

Around back, Brentai moves up, but triggers an enemy's reaction shot. Thanks to his catlike reflexes, it's a miss.

Once again, he exposes his ass at his assailant. It's like a thing, for him.

His ritual complete, Brentai turns and Rapid Fires for 4.

And again.

Sensing Mongrel's in trouble, Buge drops from the roof for a better angle on the last of the rear group.

Blasts Mongrel's would-be attacker into confetti.

Exalt turn.

Buge hears something.

It's a heavy.

Merde.

By some miracle, the heavy whiffs spectacularly. Buge, however, has now been tagged by Laser Targeting, which gives everyone else a +10% aim bonus from here on out.

More helicopter whirrin'

More dudes.

Our turn again.

Brentai peeks out the back to find the kindly Krampus has left him a gift!

Brent gingerly breaks down the door.

And does the deed.

Back 'round the corner, Buge tries for a killshot against the heavy that just narrowly punched her ticket.

In a heart-stopping moment back in the building, a heavy bursts down the door. Sometimes they shoot rockets at you.

Yeah.

Turns out, he just takes a shot a Zara and whiffs. Zara is now tagged.

Rather than chance return fire from this distance, I move Zara into the closet and put him on overwatch.

Exalt turn.

Zara hears movement.

Upstairs, another Exalt goon somehow airdrops through the roof.

Actually... I realize this only now, but I think he airdropped onto the roof, but the game had take off the roof so I could see the upstairs? I swear, it looked JUST like he airdropped into the upstairs.

That explains some things.

Outside, we get another team behind Mongrel.

Ted, armorless and with nothing but a pistol and a grenade (as she was the covert operative), chucks her grenade into the group.

3 damage all around.

Mongrel tries for a shot, but the console tells me it's likely to leave him alive with 1 health.

Yessssssssssss

Buge moves 'round the back and takes a shot at the other heavy.

It's a beauty.

Brent checks upstairs to find nobody. I am utterly baffled, and set him on overwatch.

Exalt turn.

Niku takes a reaction shot at a flanking sniper.

Bleh.

Upstairs, Brentai tries as well.

It's a solid hit.

'Round back, the airdropped team takes a shot at Buge, but misses.

She returns in kind, whiffing completely.

Zara moves up.

She pushes open the door, giving us one cherry of an angle.

And I've got a new favorite kill.

Brent hears motion down by the front entrance.

He tries for a kill.

But only hits once.

They move in.

One takes a shot at Brent, hitting him for 4.

Mongrel tries for a headshot.

Hits for 5.

Buge takes aim at the one Brent softened up.

It's horrible and wonderful.

I drop Brentai from the top floor for a better angle.

62% isn't great, but with Rapid Fire, for whatever reason, I tend to get at least one hit with these.

Straightforward abduction mission. One of the trickier maps, as it has almost no full cover, but nothing particularly daunting.

The team cleared out the right side and dug in.

Ever the hothead, Niku moves up to snatch the Meld at the end of the turn.

Triggering two separate groups at once.

We score a few kills, but they manage to flank Niku from above. This is a really bad position to be in.

She gets nailed for 9, bringing her to 1 health.

Second group brings her to the ground, critically wounded.

I have nobody with a medpack this early in the game, so either I let her die in three turns, or I kill everything on the map in three turns.

Which would be unlikely, if not for...

...Büge entering some sort of fugue state, scoring critical killshots on everything I point her toward. Like a lioness protecting her cubs, she chases down the enemy and strikes hard, leaving a trail of slain ET's in her wake.

Girl's got spunk.

Niku clings to life by a single turn, and is ferried into the Skyranger to be stabilized.