Study Shows That Divorce Damages The Environment

If you thought divorce wreaked havoc on your family life, your children and your finances, now you can add another victim to the list – the environment.

A new scientific study deduces divorce pollutes the environment, because it splits households in two, doubling the demand for electricity and even water.

"More households mean more houses," said Jianguo Liu, professor of fisheries and wildlife at Michigan State University, who co-authored the report published in this week's Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

"To build more houses, you need more land, more construction material and more energy."

Tango’s Take Don’t stay together for the kids. Stay together for the Earth, you selfish bastards. Honestly, in this era of green power and eco-friendliness, is it possible that the tree huggers are going to save marriages? Are politicians going to start lumping family-values in with the need to protect the environment? Forget planting a tree or driving a hybrid, start talking to your spouse more frequently and make it work, guy.

By the way, we’re all for people making it work, guy, but we find this logic a little dubious. Yes, more households do mean more use of power (and less carpooling, etc.). But by that same logic, many charities and safety precautions are bad for the environment (i.e. saving lives, because living people consume resources). Same goes for people living in single family homes rather than apartment complexes. Let’s be reasonable, guy.