Half an hour later, Rose was standing next to
her mother, Molly Brown, and Cal on the deck. They had been told to wait there,
and then get in the lifeboats. Only women and children at this time, they had
said. Rose was cold and she kept looking around in the crowd behind them, kept
trying to see Jack's face.

No one was panic-stricken, not yet at least,
she thought to herself. On the way to the deck, they had met Thomas Andrews and
Rose closed her eyes when she remembered what he had said. His eyes had been
full of pain, full of guilt and regret, when he had told them that the ship was
really sinking.

Cal had refused to believe him at first, said
that the ship was unsinkable, but all Rose could think about was the lifeboats.
Would Jack be all right? And, the next second she felt guilty for worrying
about Jack. There were so many people on board, so many; it was selfish of her
to only worry about Jack.

She remembered seeing Jack's uncle in the
crowd inside, where everyone was still dancing and eating, oblivious to the
danger, but Jack was nowhere in sight. Why had he left her like that? Not even
given her a hint on what he was going to do…but he hadn't known that the ship
was really sinking, she hadn't known and she had told him to leave her alone.

She swallowed and looked at Molly Brown,
trying to find strength just by looking at her. She seemed so calm, almost
wanting to take charge of the whole situation and make things go faster.
Wishing that would happen, Rose looked up at Cal. He looked worried and glanced
at her absentmindedly as his arm came around her.

But he didn't know what to say to her. He
knew that there was something between her and that Jack Dawson, but he didn't
know what to do about it. He couldn't very well let her go, but he wasn't sure
if he wanted to force her to love him.

"Rose. Come on, darling. Get in the
boat," Ruth said suddenly and Rose saw her sitting there, in the wobbly
lifeboat. No…I can't go…not without knowing he'll be all right…I have to see
him again… her thoughts rushed around inside her, and then she stepped
back.

"No. I have to talk to someone first.
Good-bye, mother," she said loudly, and gave Cal a cold look, hoping that
he would realize that this time, she wouldn't let him force her to do anything.

"Rose!" her mother cried again and
again, but Rose just ran, hurrying through the crowds. Cal was right behind her
and she could hear his annoyed grunts as she ran even faster, making it harder
for him to follow.

She smiled to herself and kept going,
ignoring the lifeboats, the people, the screams, the darkness, everything…she
just ran. Until…his hand grabbed her shoulder and pulled her to a stop. Cal
stood there, breathing hard and his hair stood wildly, his eyes stared at her,
as if he was a wild animal, having finally caught his prey.

"You little…you were going to him,
weren't you?" Rose narrowed her eyes and gave him the coldest, iciest
glare she knew. "So? I've let you control me for far too long now,
Caledon," she said angrily, making his name sound like a curse word.

"Now, leave me alone. I have to find
Jack. I have to talk to him." She turned again, only to feel Cal jerk her
back. He was impossible to escape and she sighed. "Fine, stand here and
hold me then. I don't care."

This seemed to make him lose his concentration.
"What? Rose, will you please come with me now?"

"No. I have to find Jack first."

Rose refused to obey him again; Cal refused
to let her win, so all they could do was stand there. Around them, the crowd
was starting to panic and it felt like standing in the middle of a roaring
ocean, except here, the waves were people and not water.

Suddenly they both heard a familiar voice and
Rose turned to her right. Jack was standing there, leaning over a gunwale, as
if trying to touch her. He was standing on the deck above theirs and his uncle
was behind him, talking to him angrily.

"Rose! Get to a lifeboat quickly! Please
hurry!" Rose saw the fear in his eyes and nodded. Had he found out about
the lifeboats too somehow? She swallowed her own fears and smiled at him.

Something else was in his eyes now…his blue
eyes that seemed to know everything. It had been there that afternoon, that
evening, it had always been there, but she had never seen it so clearly.

It was…something that told her that she could
do it, that she could leave Cal. In the panic, in the confusion of the moment
she just knew. She knew. She had been an idiot to tell him to leave. She wasn't
weak; she wasn't someone everyone could just do what they wanted with. She was
strong and she was going to survive and…so was Jack.

"I will, Jack! Do the same for me.
I…" She jerked herself away from Cal, who had loosened his grip a bit and
was just looking at Jack in shock. Who did this man think he was? Talk to his fiancée
like that…

Rose looked at Jack intensely, ignoring Cal
completely now.

"Jack! I…was wrong. I'm sorry!" she
screamed, but the words were only meant for Jack and he was the only one who
understood what they meant. It meant that she did love him after all, not Cal.

Jack grinned happily in reply and Rose felt
like dancing around, screaming for joy. But…reality hit again. "I know!
Just get to a boat, Rose. Hurry!" were the last words Jack managed to say,
before his uncle tore him away from the gunwale. Rose saw the two men arguing
and then Jack disappeared.

"All right, Cal. Take me to a lifeboat
now," Rose smiled and looked at her fiancé…no, former fiancé. Cal shook
his head. He looked completely bewildered now and led her back to the boats in
silence. She was leading him actually, because he seemed to have fallen apart
completely.

"You…you're precious to me, Rose,"
he whispered softly, close to her ear as they waited for another lifeboat. She
smiled at him, her mind elsewhere.

She looked at his face, so different now. He
looked like he had realized something, understood that she wasn't happy with
him. It had to take a complete idiot not to realize it until now.

"I am sorry, Rose," he breathed and
she had to lean closer to him to hear what he said. When she understood the
words, she just looked at him.

"I…don't know what to say." She
couldn't forgive him, not like this, not yet. Not now.

She touched his shoulder awkwardly; still
reliving the other day--every time he touched her she felt the pain and fear
again. "Good-bye, Cal."

She let him help her get on the lifeboat. For
a second or two she wanted to get back on the safe ship. The space between the
ship and the boat was too big, too dark and too frightening, but she closed her
eyes and then found herself sitting next to an old woman and a young girl--both
were annoyed about having been woken up in the middle of the night.

Rose looked up at Cal, who was staring at her
with a mixture of feelings in his eyes. Love, anger, regret, hatred…all of it
was there and she smiled suddenly. It was the smile she had used to give him
back home, when they had just gotten engaged and everything was all right. She
had never really loved him, but he had always made her feel beautiful…until…a
few months ago.

He gave her the same smile back and they
looked at each other in understanding. But Rose knew that he would have
forgotten all about this next morning.

Just when they were about to reach the water,
she saw Jack's face. He was leaning over the gunwale again, this time a few
decks further down. He didn't say anything; he just smiled at her, tears
shining in his blue eyes.

"You're doing the right thing," he seemed to tell her, but when he looked at her like
that, she almost wanted to jump back on the ship.

"I'll wait for you," she tried to
mouth, because her voice had died completely and her throat was full of salty
tears. He smiled at her, nodding.

"I'll be all right," he said loudly
and she nodded, still smiling.

Her smile had long faded when the last
screams faded away and she looked up from the floor. She had covered her face
with her hands when she had given up on trying to make the officer see that
they could save those people. She had begged him, over and over again to go
back, save some of them, but he had refused.

After a while, Rose had given up. Her throat
was getting sore and no one else seemed to be willing to go back. She was tired
and she couldn't fight everyone on the boat. So she gave up and just prayed,
begged, hoped, wished that Jack would be okay.

*****

Cal walked slowly, almost as if he was
walking in his sleep. Rose was lost…but it didn't take long for his old
feelings to come to the surface and he sat down in the stateroom, enjoying the
silence. Soon…all of it would be at the bottom of the ocean.

He had think of something that would get Rose
back under his control. He had thought that forcing her to love him would work,
that suffocating her would work…it all had worked, until that Jack had walked
into her life.

That man had thought that he could just take
Caledon Hockley's fiancée…Cal poured himself a whiskey and then leaned back in
the chair.

On a sudden impulse he got up and started
shoving the diamond, jewels and money in his pockets and then he sank down in
the chair again, still drinking.

Cal never saw the water entering the room,
slowly, almost like an uninvited guest. He never saw the water rise higher and
higher, he was too drunk to notice. And then…when he woke up, he was sitting in
the middle of the ocean.

Meanwhile Jack was desperately searching for
a way to stay on the ship as long as possible. His uncle Jacob and his valet
had decided to die like gentlemen and after trying to convince Jack to do the
same, his uncle had given up. Jack had hugged his uncle one last time and
almost cried when he saw the determination in his eyes.

"You don't want to even try?" he
asked softly, not able to imagine his life with his uncle. He loved him so
much, he had always been like his father and now he was going and never coming
back. He had never understood why Jack loved Rose, why he loved someone else's fiancée.
But it didn't matter…it didn't matter anymore.

When he had seen Rose on deck, Jacob had
tried to talk him out of speaking to her, but then…finally, it seemed like
Jacob understood. He saw the love in Jack's eyes.

"I'm going to…I have to hurry…" he
said and Jacob nodded, smiling.

"Go for it with Rose, Jack. I should
never have tried to stop you from talking to her. I saw the way she looked at
you."

Jack leaned forwards and hugged his uncle
again, feeling the familiar security leave as he tried to remember that Jacob
was going to die. He had found out about the lifeboats by coincidence, heard
some of the crewmen talk about it. The first thought had been that he had to
tell Rose somehow. She had to survive this…she had to.

After talking to her that morning, he had
spent the day trying to think of a way to make her understand that she could
get away from Cal. He had even talked to Trudy, found out from her just how
badly Cal had treated Rose. He had given up just before dinnertime and actually
had quite a good time with Melanie, but when he had seen Rose, the smile had
faded.

She looked so unhappy and he felt that he had
to follow he back to her stateroom, make sure that she didn't do anything
stupid. She hadn't…instead the white iceberg had appeared…

Tears filled Jack's eyes now and he backed
away, hurrying to the stairs. He ran and ran, thinking about both Rose and his
uncle. He prayed that she was safe, that it wasn't too cold in the lifeboat.

People, people everywhere, moving towards
him, moving in the same direction…they were everywhere! Everywhere! He tried to
shut out the screams, prayers and just move as fast as he could. The floor was
tilting and he ran faster, panicking.

"Though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death…" a man walking right in front of him said desperately,
but hope was still in his voice.

"You wanna walk a little faster through
that valley, there?" Jack yelled and moved past the praying man, running
even faster.

When the ship was sinking vertically, Jack
had enough sense to climb over the railing and hang on, on the other side this
time. This was where he had pulled Rose back over the railing…only a few hours
ago, not longer. He held on tightly and closed his eyes, blocking out all the
cries.

"Help me, please help me," someone
said very close to him and he had to, he had to open his eyes.

A girl, about Rose's age was clinging to the
railing, but she was on the wrong side…

With a deep and nagging feeling that this was
wrong, that he had to do something, Jack gave her his hand reluctantly. He
pulled her up slowly and just as she had managed to climb over the railing,
Jack slipped.

He lost his grip on the steel railing and
felt himself falling. Falling, falling and falling…the air met him with its
cold embrace and then he landed in the icy water, screaming and only seeing
Rose's face before his eyes.

That was the last thing he remembered, then
blackness surrounded him and all was lost.