Dark Musings
It’s Not Easy To
Be Famous: Clark
By Roy L. Clark
It’s nice to see. your name in the paper, but oh, the things a person has to go through to get it there. Take the inöident earlier this month. The papers just said— “Clutts and clark Win Top Awards in Speech Contest”—You’d think all we had to do was walk in,
make like Lawrence Oliver, and Katherine Hepburn, and walk out with honors. Now, it wasn’t like
that. Let me tell you how it really was.
I WAS SITTING bewildered, wortied and weak,
When they called my name and I got up to speak.
The judge cleared his throat and with a pleasant smile, Nodded. his head as I walked down the aisle.
That made me feel better, and put me at ease,
It made me eager and anxious to please;
I assumed a öjassic orator’s stance, This I thought is really my chance.
I’LL THRILL ‘em, I’ll chill ‘em,
I’ll knock ‘em dead
You may begin .the judge plainly
said;
I said to myself, this should be easy.
Then suddenly my stomach felt greasy,
My knees started knocking, my
head started to pound,
My lips were moving, but I made
not a sound.
My feet were, cold, my hands were
hot,
Well, said the judge, will you speak
or not?
I stood there grinning like a mule
eating thorns,
Then it seemed the judge sprouted
horns
WE ARE WAIliNG sir! I heard
his shout
My lips moved some more but
nothing came out;
Try aslmight I could not say a
In the silence that follewed my
knees could be heard.
For gosh sake, speak up, the des-
perate judge said,
And turned a peculiar purplish
red;
Speak or sit down, you’re stopping
the show,
I tried to move but my feet
wouldn’t go.
So I stood and gestured, and grim-
aced and groaned,
While the poor judge seethed and
sighed and moaned;
I know I looked silly. I felt like a
clown,
The judge by .this time was some-
what calmed down;
He said in a strangly soft soothing
voice,
My dear Mr. Clark, you may take
your choice—
EIThER SAY your oration as you
are expected,
Or take the alternative of being
ejected;
To make a long story short, I
finally got going,
Though how I got through, I’ve no
way of knowing.
I couldn’t help but wonder though,
as the applause diminished,
Were they clapping because—I
finally got started or because—
I finally finished.
Any person who has attended Southern for as much as one term is eligible for membership in the Alumni association. Dues are $2 a year or a life membership may be obtained for $50 paid in 10 annual instalments.

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Dark Musings
It’s Not Easy To
Be Famous: Clark
By Roy L. Clark
It’s nice to see. your name in the paper, but oh, the things a person has to go through to get it there. Take the inöident earlier this month. The papers just said— “Clutts and clark Win Top Awards in Speech Contest”—You’d think all we had to do was walk in,
make like Lawrence Oliver, and Katherine Hepburn, and walk out with honors. Now, it wasn’t like
that. Let me tell you how it really was.
I WAS SITTING bewildered, wortied and weak,
When they called my name and I got up to speak.
The judge cleared his throat and with a pleasant smile, Nodded. his head as I walked down the aisle.
That made me feel better, and put me at ease,
It made me eager and anxious to please;
I assumed a öjassic orator’s stance, This I thought is really my chance.
I’LL THRILL ‘em, I’ll chill ‘em,
I’ll knock ‘em dead
You may begin .the judge plainly
said;
I said to myself, this should be easy.
Then suddenly my stomach felt greasy,
My knees started knocking, my
head started to pound,
My lips were moving, but I made
not a sound.
My feet were, cold, my hands were
hot,
Well, said the judge, will you speak
or not?
I stood there grinning like a mule
eating thorns,
Then it seemed the judge sprouted
horns
WE ARE WAIliNG sir! I heard
his shout
My lips moved some more but
nothing came out;
Try aslmight I could not say a
In the silence that follewed my
knees could be heard.
For gosh sake, speak up, the des-
perate judge said,
And turned a peculiar purplish
red;
Speak or sit down, you’re stopping
the show,
I tried to move but my feet
wouldn’t go.
So I stood and gestured, and grim-
aced and groaned,
While the poor judge seethed and
sighed and moaned;
I know I looked silly. I felt like a
clown,
The judge by .this time was some-
what calmed down;
He said in a strangly soft soothing
voice,
My dear Mr. Clark, you may take
your choice—
EIThER SAY your oration as you
are expected,
Or take the alternative of being
ejected;
To make a long story short, I
finally got going,
Though how I got through, I’ve no
way of knowing.
I couldn’t help but wonder though,
as the applause diminished,
Were they clapping because—I
finally got started or because—
I finally finished.
Any person who has attended Southern for as much as one term is eligible for membership in the Alumni association. Dues are $2 a year or a life membership may be obtained for $50 paid in 10 annual instalments.