Are you a nice atheist or jewish grower of the “devil’s weed” — and have some fears about growing in a post-Rapture world?

Flames, earthquakes, hell on earth — yikes!

In an effort to help growers not partaking in this Saturday’s Rapture — we felt the need to give out some advice from the top growing expert in cannabis, Jorge Cervantes.

So, Jorge, what kind of problems are we going to have with the world on fire, including everyone for that matter?

High heat is a problem. Any infernal temperatures are smoking! Maybe that is what it is about smoking, converting cannabinoids to their psychoactive non-acid state.

Is indoor growing going to be something that everyone will have to do post-rapture?

Probably not. Oxygen is necesary for human life, and plant life for that matter. There is so much CO2 that will be generated it could be the end for humanity. Somebody has a plan, probably Donald Trump. Ask him he always knows what to do.

Since God created cannabis, does Jesus have a special place for those that grow?

Of course, he is the one that multiplies fish and teaches fishing! We think the same about cannabis! In Spain we have San Canuto, the patron saint of cannabis. Jesus is definately front row center of the cannabis oil anointment crew.

What kind of preventative steps should those believing that the Rapture is coming?

I think I would stash as many seeds as possible, collect about 50 kilos of great hash and four times as much cannabis. Then I would sit it out and stay cool, probably in a NSA basement.

And for those that plan on being Rapture-ized?

Tell them to give you everything they have. they won’t need it after Saturday.