Who the fuck am I?

Hope everyone is feeling ok and if you’re not, well that is ok too as you’re only human. So the low mood cycle storm is still raging on but I am ok, I have had my good days and my bad days, I am just taking each day as it comes. I am at that stage where I know how sensitive I am to the things around and I am fine-tuning my reactions to these situations. I am learning more and more with each storm and I have learned this time around no matter how out of control of my mind I feel I can rein those emotions from time to time. Basically, I am can stop myself sometimes from being a raging bitch to the people around me.

This week and last week have been hard for many reasons, even though I said I would try to not go into much detail about my personal life in fear of the backlash the backlash still happened. I felt like my happy place aka my blog was tainted and used against me and even though yes I can admit there have been some wrongdoing on my end, I feel like the bigger picture is not being seen.
There is one thing with me I can forgive but I can’t forget and I will no longer be used as a scapegoat for other people’s wrongdoings and all you are doing is hating me for being who I am.
Anyway mini rant over with, time to rein in that inner bitch. This week I am going to do a bit of a theme with my blog posts. I have realized more and more I have lost who I am, the good and the bad parts have mixed together and turned into this big blurred mess and that gives me frightening thoughts of I am never going to feel myself again.
So this week is all about who I am and I will be focusing on different parts of me and also what I can learn from rediscovering those parts.

Who the fuck am I?

Today I am going to talk about the part of me, which I call my bitchy I don’t give a fuck side. This part of me I would say does belong in the middle of good and bad because it can have both parts. There are times when the bitch side can get irritated by the smallest thing and can cause me to blow my fuse rather quickly. Also, this side can be the side that will never fall in line and I can speak up for myself with a lot more ease when the bitch takes over.

Even though this side has probably has caused me to get into trouble from time to time, because I seem to get world vomit with the bitch side of me, it has also been the side that picked me up when I have knocked down. I feel this side comes out more during a low cycle as a defense mechanism and I learning to rein that in like I said before.
So to conclude, who am I? Well, I am a bit of a bitch!

Published by crazylittlethingssite

Post navigation

5 thoughts on “Who the fuck am I?”

Wait wait wait. Do I understand correctly? Someone found your blog and used the info on there against you? Now that makes me angry. You should feel safe and comfortable here. Whoever made you feel otherwise, I want to punch them in the throat. Like what the hell? You’re opening up. You’re being honest. How can that be anything but respected??

Ahh I wish I knew who I was. Ive been in my skin for over 23 years after all, and yet I feel so disconnected from myself. I have no idea who I am, where I want to go, or how to get there. I’m still trying to figure it out. This is a topic that I can really relate to. It’s going to be interesting. I’m looking forward to the next posts ^^

Thank you for the support it really means so much! It was awful finding out that it was being used against me in such a negative way and it took me awhile to move past it but now I am more determined to not let anyone take my happy place away from me! It’s a weird feeling to feel so disconnected from yourself and I’m 29 and I am only getting to know myself again it may be a slow process but worth it ❤️

So your real life people are still creeping your blog? I wish they’d leave it alone and give you privacy. If it keeps up there is always the option of migrating to a new domain and not giving them access. I am thankful I decided not to give out my blog address to RL people. I don’t want to have to censor myself. and I want to be able to rant without backlash. Sorry you are going thru that.

I gave it them when I first started thinking it was a way for them to get a understanding of how I was feeling and it was something I was proud of doing and I stupidly thought they would be proud but nope total opposite effect 😔

Who am I? That’s the question we all ask ourselves probably several times in our lives until we nail the answer down for sure. Whether you’re a bitch, an angel, or somewhere in between, once you know the answer to who you are, your thinking changes.