出发 – Departure

A student sent me this picture in an email with the subject line, “The day you went away…”

The students gathered at my house clutching gifts in plastic bags, and the time to leave was fast approaching. They worked like ants, hauling my luggage down the stairs in groups. I had arranged a 14-person van through the foreign affairs department to take us to the bus station, but a jeep was waiting at the bottom of my stairwell. “The van is broken,” the foreign affairs official explained. The students looked at one another and I said, “Quickly – get on bus 11 and meet us at the bus station.”

When everyone had arrived at the bus station, we ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and waited for the time to leave. Students stood around talking and making jokes while they ate the sandwiches, and I finally realized what was going on: they were trying to keep the mood light so nobody would feel too upset about my departure. I sat down on a chair in the lobby and cried. It was hard to look at my students, most of whom had come from the class I had taught for two years.

We loaded my luggage on the bus, and the students stood in a line by the door. In China, where students never seem to hug one another, it was odd when a student asked me, “May I give you an embrace?” I hugged my students, saying goodbye before I climbed the stairs of the bus. I waved goodbye and found my seat in the back of the bus. Out the window I saw that my students were crying, and old memories came rushing back.

I cried again on the bus, this time sobbing with the realization that this goodbye could be permanent. I might never see these kids again. Or even if we meet again, our lives will be different. They will be teaching in the countryside. They will likely be married, and they might even have children. In any case, my time as a Peace Corps Volunteer in China was finished, even if I didn’t technically close my service for another few days. My students were my community in China. I was leaving my community.

The night before our goodbye, I stood with Maria, B.Y., and Amanda in the middle of the soccer field. We prepared two floating lanterns, writing out wishes on the outside and lighting the fuel cube. The lanterns floated slowly up, out, and over the dormitories, carried by a light breeze. “A floating lantern!” we heard a student cry from the dormitories. We watched the lanterns disappear over a hill in the distance and walked back to my house.