Negative Esteem from Others

Description

Get other people to comply with your requests by pointing out how, if they do
not do as you say, other people will think less of them.

Talk about the people they know and whose respect they value. Get them to
imagine how those people would react if they did not agree with you. You can
also do the same with a more general 'everybody' and the basic principle of
social exclusion.

Example

What will your wife say if you do not take one home
today? You said she wanted you to get a good one, and this is the best.

If you can't say sorry then who knows what our friends will
think of you.

If you don't work hard at school, your grandparents will be
very disappointed in you.

Discussion

People have a deep need for
esteem from others, particularly those they respect. When people look up to
us, we gain status, which
is also a deep human need. With status, we can influence others and get what we
want in the world.

Negative esteem is the basis of much blackmail, where the blackmailer
typically threatens to tell other people about something shameful that was done
unless the target person does as they are told (typically paying money to the
blackmailer). Forms of blackmail are common in everyday life when a person
effectively says 'If you don't do as I say, I'll tell others what you did.'

Negative Esteem from Others is also written as 'Esteem (Negative) by Others'.

Negative Esteem from Others is the 30th of the 64 compliance-gaining strategies
described by Kellerman and Cole.