I have now been surfing around on this site for a month or so and greatly enjoying what I find here. So many ways to go through this process.

I was attracted back to this way of looking at food and feeding a year ago in january 2012, when I stumbled upon a video with Akahi and Camila. I was so moved by the love I felt coming from them and their story about their food free life just hit an old abandoned point of view buried deep within an aquired lust for food.

Having been a very light eater since my early childhood and even almost dying of malnutrition at age 4, I finaly at the age of 45 fell into the trap of using food to distract myself from feeling my life. This have been going on for more than 10 years and in that time my addiction went from scant to complete. I have never eaten fast food in all my life but I even had a short spell of pizzas these past years.

On the other hand I have greatly enjoyed alcohol and smoking weed for prolonged spells over the years. Always coming back to zero thou after partying for a couple of years at a time (not continuously of course). These partying periods have been filled with fun and joy and a high level of creative activity as well.

After the passing of my menopause a disease appeared in my life in 2007. One of those autoimmune conditions in the connective tissue that are getting so common these past years. So I was cornered to go on and become clean again. And this time it was from the point of having become addicted to food as well. It took me 2.5 years to become free of my symptoms from what the doctor called an incurable disease. This I did mainly throu quitting most foodstuffs except vegetables, fruit and legumes. I started for the first time ever to live in the rythm of being awake during the day and sleeping at night. I also got more serious about meditating. I got treated by different shamanic healers, homeopaths and reflexologists.

I also found out that I could eat or not eat: it didn't matter so much.

So when I found Akahi and Camila I decided to check out this world of non-eating. Took part in one of their 8 day processes in August 2012. As I was already pretty clean I switched to raw food and enjoyed that for a month and a half before the 8 day retreat. Big was my surprise when I experienced a reluctance from my body or maybe from my egoic layer to let go of the eating. I had thought that the change would be smooth and easy.

It was very easy when I was surrounded by people who did the same as me. But as soon as I came back to the city, surrounded by the usual life of consumerism it really hit me how lonesome a walk I had embarked upon. I have now lived mostly of fruit and nuts for 7 months. But with many exceptions. A couple of times a week I have a caffe latte and a carrot cake with icing or a carrot juice with a raw cream cake made of coconut oil and cashew nuts. Every other week I partake in a meal. I am the personal caregiver of a paralyzed man and we often go to restaurants or family dinners and it has been very difficult for me to not eat at those occations. I am slowly getting better at sitting quietly and not attracting attention to myself by not participating. It is a balance as I have worked with this person for many years and am almost a familymember.

I have during the past 7 months taken part in more sessions with Akahi and Camila. This I do to get some support for my desire to live without food. And for every time I feel stronger in my resolve and more awake to the effects that food has on my body, emotions and energy.

I begin to notice a wondering when I see how bloated a lot of people are. And this is one of the measurings I can tell by, how far I have come after all. The transition is gradual. I am still greatly enjoying the smell of peoples dinners in the stairwell of my apartmentbuilding. But like yesterday I tasted a small bite of lasagne that I had cooked at work. It smelled so good but the taste and texture in my mouth was a complete disappointment. This makes me laugh so much. I think of when I was pregnant back i 1980 I was completely crazy about the smell of cement. So much that I tried to taste a bit of it and of course it tasted horrible.

I read here on the site Steve Torrance write about treating the eating like an addiction. It makes sense to me. So maybe I will get to the point some day soon where I will be able to make a clean break from the addiction. I am not sure this is the approach for me yet. We'll see.

Thank you everybody for your sharings. I really enjoy reading about your progress. And remember: taking a step backwards is also a step in the progress.

Hello Airnalise
thank you for sharing your experience here, I really appreciate it.
This is my first post here
I just bought the online course of Akahi, 8 day process online.
has anyone experienced it before?
all the best to you
Raphael

I am right now on a "3 days fast". However, in the back of my mind (or rather heart? there is a deeper wish of perhaps realizing towards the end of day 3 that "I don't feel like going back to the heavy stuff again", and instead getting off the ground, into the world of true undifferentiated nutrition = pure prana.