Living Vulnerable to God,Myself, and others

Month: November 2018

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit.Psalms 51:10-12

The process of being renewed happens as soon as you confess , and believe.That seems like the easiest part, but I think the hardest part in living in the renewed mindset , is the process. I honestly think I have asked for a renewal more than I can count , sometimes I wonder if I asked to many times. However, I learned that we will always need a constant renewal , and sometimes that means daily.

We tend ( by “we” I definitely mean I ) to ask God for a renewal of the heart , mind , and soul . I think we know or should know what we need to be renewed from, for me it definitely been centered around relationships , and negative thinking. Every day when I prayed I would as for a renewal but in a couple of hours , or weeks I would act , think , or say the very thing I am asking to be changed from . sounds like common sense right ? its like living in this world seems to test us .. the very thing we struggle with is yelling in our face I’m right here , and its so quick and required no process,right?

The thing is God never said the process would be easy , but he did tell us the prize on the other side is so much better. So how do we not stay on track ?

Well , we must know that we are bigger than the current state we are in ,because our God is BIG. second take responsibility , and runaway from the things that our destroying or distracting you from your process. Lastly, beat those feelings into captivity and bring them to him. I struggled with living a headless live separating how I feel from what I KNOW. And what I know is I am valuable , I am chosen, and God will never forsake his child. So, no more shortcuts! This spiritual renewal is the best journey you can embark on.

Sometimes it is hard to believe that. Through all I have done, and even when I ran, he chased me down.?

That’s the thing I didn’t truly understand was God’s love for me. I mean we recite john 3:16 in our sleep “ For Gods so loved the world he gave his only begotten son … you know the rest lol ”. unfortunately, I didn’t really grasp what that meant for me individually.

As I prayed and studied Gods love, I started to understand. God sent his only son for me …he sent a sacrifice for ME, for everything I have done. Even more he left his sweet holy spirit with me (Check out Romans 5:5). So that I can feel his love, comfort, and peace. His spirit is whole , without blemish, pure , and without limitations. I can always depend on him and as long as he is in me , his spirit will be there.

So now I get it , I get his love! No matter what I have done, and no matter how many times I have went in the opposite direction he CHASES me back into his arms each time. It’s almost like he would never let me get deeper in situations or harmful relationships than I needed to be. Back then I would ask why in the world did I need to go through that?! ( I am not sure what I learned). Now I know it was God saying to me JANA , I don’t want you there , I don’t want you in that situation or place because I LOVE YOU. He wanted better for me , …even when far from him. CRAZY right? Something that I am learning in my own personal journey is that his love covers;

Loneliness

Desperation

Shame

Failure

Anxiety

Fear

He covers all! So if you are in a place thinking… how in the world can God love me and my mess?! Just know, He is already there, ready to pour out his overwhelming love. He is CHASING you