Bashir: The nacelles on the runabout went round and round, round and-
O'Brien: Ssh! I'm writing!
Bashir: Miles, for the sake of your dignity you have to drop this poetry lark...

Odo thinking: she's even beautiful when she sulks!

Jake: I didn't think gathering medical supplies would be this dangerous!
Bashir: It's not all glamour being a CMO you know, sometimes you have to turn to the underworld for items of a special nature...

O'Brien: What's this?
Sisko: Remedial classes for station operations.

Worf: (muttering) I must not use Morn's head as a bongo, I must not use Morn's head as a bongo, I must not...

Odo: Unfortunately Major, I can't really do anything about this. FedChan is an anonymous site and all I can get out of them are IP addresses, none of which correspond to DS9. Whoever is writing this is either using a proxy or sending it to someone off the station to post. I'll probably have to get Federation authorities involved.
Kira: Great... How bad is it?
Odo: There's a story where I have sex with you, featuring lots of tentacles. It's apparently so popular that they've commissioned art work of it.
Kira: I wish I hadn't heard that.
Odo: It could've been worse. You could've seen the Garak/Bashir art.

Sisko: Chief, the situation has gotten worse. They've written stories about every major person on this station except the Ferengi. Tell me you and Odo have any good news to report.
O'Brien: Sorry sir, I've manually checked over all the internet connections on the station. No one is using our systems or the systems of any ships docked here.
Sisko: Damn it! What about-
Kira: Hey Dax, why is this story about Curzon getting jamaharoned to death?
*Everyone stares at Dax*

O'Brien: "Okay, Garak left me this instruction manual for while he's away. "Meeting Bashir For Lunch". Do I have to discuss "post-modernist Cardassian literature, with particular emphasis on the more uncomfortably suggestive titles"?

Bashir: "Yes".

Sisko: "Captain Solok has popped 6 million, three hundred thousand bubbles for 30 million, two thousand and twenty three points. Grab your PADD, Chief, and get popping. Remember, DO NOT touch the blue bubbles, they detract points".

O'Brien: "I, er, have work to do on the reactor core"

Sisko: "Not anymore you don't".

Morn: "We don't like these Klingonses, do we precious? They tries to steal it from us, they do! They tries to steal our ale..."

O'Brien: Yes. I mean what the Hell do you put on here? You can't go with "Happy Birthday," it's so impersonal, but I can't think of what says, "Happy Birthday to a Bajoran woman who, at times terrifies me, but is a strong positive female role model that I hope Molly chooses as a role model..."

Bashir: I just went with, "Here's to the first 35 and many more."

O'Brien: Isn't she 29?

Bashir: Crap! Are you sure? Crap! Can I see that stylus?

Odo: If it makes you feel better, I can't judge how old any of you solids are.

Kira: Well, that's comforting...

Jake: I guess it's true what they say, war is Hell!

Bashir: I still believe this is better than back on the station! Kira is still upset over that birthday card!

Sisko: No, we're not reviewing resumes from doctors, why do you ask? Now scoot, before we start looking for engineers as well!

Worf: *thinking to himself* I know it is dishonorable, but damn, I need to tell someone about how Klingon-like Kira is in bed when she's pissed at someone. Still, I could have done without the post-coital crying jag about how old she looks...

Dr Bashir casually walks by O'Brien as he's reading his letters from Keiko, on the outside chance she sent a naked picture.

ODO: I consider myself a keen observer on human nature, Major, and judging by your posture you're having a bad day.
KIRA: Wow, your deductive powers are nothing short of astounding. You're almost as smart as Troi.

JAKE: No, this is still awesome. Front line journalism is the best idea ever!
BASHIR: Really?
JAKE: Yeah! You can't write about how horrible war is unless stuff is blowing up in your face. This experience will make me way more mature and world-wise!
BASHIR: Really?
JAKE: NO! GET ME THE F*** OUT OF HERE!

O'BRIEN: Am I interrupting anything?
SISKO: Not at all chief. Kira and Dax were just trying out a dating website.
O'BRIEN: How's that working out?
DAX: 200 nude pic requests, 50 marriage proposals, 20 stalkers, and maybe two messages actually worth responding to.
O'BRIEN: I should have warned you about that. What about you Kira?
KIRA: Ten messages, all from Cardassians.

Every time Morn sees Worf he wonders whether Jadzia finally told him about their whirlwind love affair.

Kira: Do you want to know what really pisses me off about the occupation? It was that time when the resistance forced me to be a concubine just to get close to some Gul and bump him off... And he had to take pictures which still crop up on databases... I'll never live down the shame...