Saturday, January 30

Long story short, I’ve felt some kind of way about this guy I’ve known since I was a teenager. And although communication between us had been spotty throughout the years, a reconnected friendship was rather effortless after we ended up in the same city about six months ago.

We started having casual conversations which progressed into more frequent conversations which then progressed into hanging out. So as you can probably imagine, my interest in him progressed. And after evaluating his actions, I reasoned that the interest was at least half-way mutual. I was confident in my senses, so I didn’t feel like a verbal confirmation was necessary….until my attraction to him intensified. Among many things, my friend is compassionate and brilliant with a body like “whoa.” Not to mention he loves his momma, so there’s a lot to like.

After my confidence was shaken, though, I realized that I was riding full on emotions and empty on actuality...not a good companionship. So, I decided that I had to inquire about his outlook on our friendship…not really an easy thing to do while trying to leave the chill factor undisturbed.

But I couldn’t keep operating in the unknown. So, one day I asked him what his intentions were with me. In the immediate moments after asking, I was so proud of myself for getting it out. But then there was a period of silence that left me a bit anxious. He finally responded that he didn’t know what his intentions were…..he was just chillin.

Damn!

Not exactly what I wanted to hear, so I was disappointed for something like two minutes. Then I simply accepted that we weren’t on the same page. If I had continued to go off of my feelings, though, I would have probably just assumed that we were…not knowing for sure.

So, the moral of the story is, act on what you know and not what you feel. And guess what…if you don’t know, you better find out!

My friend and I will always be friends, but it looks like it may not be more than that for now.

If you remember, AmelLarrieux launched her career in the mid 90s as half of the duo "Groove Theory."

I didn't really start listening to her, though, until she broke out on her own years later. Many of her influences are drawn from R&B, soul, jazz, folk, hip-hop, and gospel with flashes of Middle Eastern, West African, and Indian ethnic styles. Needless-to-say, her fly and eclectic sound is far from mainstream which leaves her underrated and undiscovered by the masses.

Amel has some serious love songs on all of her albums. And when I was younger, the two that I swore were going to be played during my wedding were, "No One Else" and "Make Me Whole." I'm sure that each goddess wants a love like the one she describes in these songs.

But lately, I've had "Just Once" on repeat. The song reminds me that time shouldn't be wasted, life should be lived and happiness should be experienced. When you get a chance, check it out.

Saturday, January 23

My friend has been unemployed for about six months. And without the regular schedule that a typical 9-to-5 offered, she often found herself unoccupied. She is a PR diva, so she figured that this period of joblessness would allow her to focus on her passions and strengths as a writer. It did. She started working with clients and crafting PR capabilities presentations for them. She sealed a few deals and was moving in the right direction. But she hit another lull when the work started to decrease.

Used to being an active, always on the move, schedule always full person, my friend didn’t know exactly what to do with herself and all of this idle time. She tried reading books, writing and pitching articles and catching every newly released movie. These all helped but proved only to be temporarily solutions to fill her time. So, her mind would drift periodically and focus on boy drama or the overall stress of her situation.

Then one day, my friend dug out some old paint that she had tucked away in her closet. She figured she would start painting again, something she hadn’t done for nearly five years. But instead of painting on canvas, she decided she wanted to try her hand at painting wooden bangles. She did, and a new hobby was born!!!!

Her new hobby not only serves as another creative outlet for her, but it also fills her idle time and provides an opportunity for some cashflow. That’s right, my friend decided to sell her bangles on Etsy, an online community for crafters.

My friend is so committed to her new hobby. We recently met up at Borders to hang out. She was wearing two of her bangles and had a bag full of other ones in her purse ready to sell. Sound silly? Not at all, she almost sold one off her wrist to this little old white lady in the store.

Moral of the story: opportunities are everywhere—sometimes they just need to be discovered and coupled with a little hustle.

Tuesday, January 12

I finished designing my next set of shirts, so I was getting all of my files prepared to send to a manufacturer in India. Once I got everything finalized and packaged up, I went to the post office and sent it off.

I immediately came back home and emailed the manufacturer so that my contact there would be on the lookout for my package. He emailed me back the next day, and said he was anxious to receive it. But he wanted me to be aware that his office would be closed for the next four days for a local festival.

My initial thought was, why are you shutting down for four days for a festival? You have a business to run, and I certainly don’t want my process to be delayed because of a festival. Then I started thinking, that’s pretty darn cool! Why don’t we have festivals in the US that cause local businesses to shut down for four days?

Then I was watching Oprah the following day, and she was interviewing people from all over. In the interview, she uncovered that people from Denmark are said to be the happiest people in the world. When interviewing a Danish couple, she asked why they are considered the happiest people. The man answered, “less things, more living.”

After thinking about both of these situations a little deeper, I concluded that they carried the same message: don’t forget to live.

As Americans we can get so accustomed to the rat race that most thoughts preoccupying our minds relate to money—how much we need, how we’re going to get it, and what we’re going to do to keep it—so much so that we leave little time to just be happy and enjoy life. We’re always worried about having the biggest house, newest electronics or most luxurious car. So, we work and work and work, trying to make enough money to get the things we want. And we tell ourselves that we’ll be happy once we get some of these things. What we don’t realize in the moment, however, is that once these things become outdated, we’ll set our sights on the newer, flashier, slicker versions and continue the rat race. So, we’ll never truly be happy under our currently mentality. Sad.

Ask yourself, “In my quest for happiness or success, am I forgetting to live?” I bet that most of us are. So, it would benefit us to take a hint from our brothers and sisters across the seas and focus on less things and more living.

Thursday, January 7

Wednesday, January 6

I was listening to the Michael Baisden show yesterday (which I generally try to avoid). The show topic was about women who’d been engaged for years but still hadn’t gotten married. Michael was expressing his belief that people shouldn’t get engaged unless they are ready to set a date and get married. I agree.

He said that if a man proposed to a woman but still hadn’t married her five years later, he probably never intends on getting married. I agree. (Also to mention, this is a completely selfish act). After Michael talked to a caller that had been engaged for seven years and had three kids by her man, he asked the question, “If you’re a queen, why are you letting him play you like a clown?”

But this isn’t simply a question that relates to getting married. It applies to any kind of relationship, even if you’re just getting to know a dude. If you’re a woman that has spent time studying yourself, improving your character, exploring your purpose, working towards your goals, and enjoying yourself and life, then you should have a pretty good idea of your worth. So, it isn’t ok for a guy to come in and value you any less than you value yourself. And if you call yourself a queen, then you must have pretty high standards of yourself. Make sure you apply those same high standards to the men you involve yourself with.

In regards to the show, commitment is scary and risky for most men. Therefore, it’s important for queens not to settle until finding a man that realizes you’re worth the risk.

In the words of Andre 3000:

So, I typed a text to a girl I used to seeSayin that I chose this cutie pie with whom I wanna beAnd I apologize if this message gets you downThen I CC'd every girl that I'd see see round town andI hate to see y'all frown but I'd rather see her smiling.....

My friend gave me Algebra's cd last year. I had heard a little bit about her, but hadn't taken the time to listen to her music. So, when I got the cd, I popped it in, not really knowing what to expect. But after listening to track after track, my excitement grew. The cd was tight! Now, it's one of my go-to cds when the radio isn't hitting it. I especially love "Run and Hide."

I love her hair, muscles, style and music. Hey, I just think she's fly!

As an R&B solo artist with such a simple solution, when mainstream success seems to be more about the right hair, nails and make -up, Algebra is the perfect curriculum for breathing life back in to a genre overwrought by factory made clones. No stranger to performing, Algebra has been lending her melodic voice to projects and live shows for years. However, singing for other artists was about as out of character for her as having someone write songs for her. "Even when someone else wrote a song specifically for me, I felt like I was still being a background singer for myself." As the music scene in Atlanta became the hot bed of popular music, Algebra taught herself to play guitar and performed regularly at open mics. This pivotal point in her career afforded her the time to develop her writing and performance skills even further without the harness of a prescribed format. "Soon you learn not to care what others think, you learn to perform for you. I would come back week after week and I learned to perform for balance and for freedom. I was becoming alive."