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Stepmoms, Part One

A volunteer who uses our book called with a stepmom story. She told us about Stephanie, a girl in her group who got a new mom this summer. Like so many, Stephanie’s blended family is struggling to communicate and love well.

One example: Stephanie left dishes in the sink. Her new mom quietly asked her to wash them, but Stephanie didn’t do it — so the mom complained to the dad that his daughter didn’t do what she asked. That hurt.

It didn’t just hurt the dad, though. It hurt everyone. The new mom felt ignored, the dad heard that his daughter was a problem, and Stephanie got in trouble for something she wasn’t even aware of. You see, Stephanie’s previous mom would rant and scream when she wanted something done, so the new mom’s quiet request slipped right under Stephanie’s radar.

Deep down no one needs to be hurting in this family.

Stephanie actually wants her stepmom to be firm.

The stepmom wants Stephanie to respect her.

And they both want to be loved.

There’s much to learn by considering the perspective of students. They often see more clearly than we do. For example, Stephanie had this to say: “If my stepmom understood my first mom better, she would understand me better.”