You’re sick of pampering the plants you brought so carefully inside last October. “I have to go out every day in spring rains and muddy sinkholes; what makes YOU guys think they can stay cozied up in here drinking plant-food martinis and sunbathing by the windows?

You’ve begun talking to inanimate objects.

Also:

You’re sick of TV.

You never thought THAT would happen but there it is.

You’re sick of the traffic, the weather, the news itself. The ramps, balconies and platforms the news anchors stand on gesturing dramatically now seem like a true Theatre of the Absurd to you.

You’re dreaming about Dairy Queen.

You’re dreaming about tanning oil.

Not sunscreen; tanning oil.

You think nostalgically of that old Coppertone ad where the playful doggy at the beach is tugging at the waistband of the adorable small child, revealing a slice of pale white against the burnished rest of her.

In other words even skin cancer has started looking good you.

It has come to this. It has all ended in this.

And suddenly you know: It is time to get out.

You turn off the TV.

You put on your sock mittens or potholders because it is still a tad chilly out there.

You step outside.

And you don’t even care that your yard is under water because it rained so much in March that the wild animals were pairing off and watching for an ark.

You know you are ready for spring when both you AND your houseplants feel a strong urge to just LIE DOWN IN ALL THAT MUD AND WAIT ON SUNSHINE!

Talk to Terry any time at her blog Exit Only or at terrymarotta@verizon.net or c/o Ravenscroft Press P.O. Box 270, Winchester, MA 01890.

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