Saturday, May 02, 2009

Somali Coast Cruise Package

The Coast-of-Somalia Cruise Package is the cure for what ails you. And rates have never been cheaper!

Depart from beautiful Sawakin in the Sudan and arrive refreshed at Bagamoya in Tanzania, seven adrenaline-charged days later!

Bring your own high-powered weapons (handguns are welcome!) or rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night! We even have an indoor range for those rare days when the weather is uncooperative!

But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire.

And we guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in port.

How can we make that guarantee? We operate at 5 knots always staying within 12 nautical miles of the coast of Somalia. In fact, we make three passes through the area's most treacherous waters to ensure maximum visibility by Somali "mother ships".

At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot every five minutes with loud disco music directionally beamed shoreside to attract maximum attention.

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in 'Nam. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates... they never even got close to the ship with the crap they shoot and their lousy aim... reminds me of a drunken juicer door-gunner we picked up from the motor pool in Phu Bai!" -- Dan J. -- Toledo, OH

Act now, because cabins and pirates are limited! You don't want to miss this adrenaline-charged vacation experience, available exclusively from Cheney Industries, a division of Halliburton!

6 comments:

where do we go to sign upfor this awesome cruise.looks like an adventureof a life-time. the priceis very high but maybe thereare specials at sometime.sounds like a city slicker vacation.just show us how to sign up.msb