It's really starting to feel like we're finding our way. Next month we have 3 things to do in one weekend! Now it feels like so much, but Suzanne and I realized that that's the way it used to be before Amia became a part of our little family.

God knows having children is challenging and difficult and the most growth inducing thing we've ever done. When you're tired, and remembering the life you used to have, it's easy to forget how soul expanding it is, and that you have the chance to directly influence someone's life every day. And that you get to tell someone you love them everyday and everyday it means something new to them. When Suzanne and I think back to what our lives used to be like, the relative freedom and ease with which we moved in the world, we can't think of what we'd be doing now without Amia here. We can't imagine extending that life. It feels like we'd be lost. We honestly don't know what we'd be doing with ourselves if Amia weren't here.

I'm definitely glad we had those 4 years together of just us. I feel like we were able to lay a solid foundation for the life we have now. And although life fills up very quickly now, we wouldn't have it any other way. And it's wonderful to get a chance to share what we've been learning.

Next month Suzanne and I are hosting a gathering, mostly of young couples, to explore preparation for family life. We were lucky enough to have the Baker's do it for us, talk about what to expect. Now we're kind of passing it on. We want to explore with each other our hopes and fears of parenthood, what we're most looking forward to and what we're kind of concerned about. And talk about what to do the moment you find out you're pregnant. How do you find a doctor or midwife? What's a doula? A waterbirth? What's labor really like? What do you really need from Target, of the thousands of things they have to sell you? Do you really need the baby wipe warmer? A breast pump if you're planning on breastfeeding? It'd be cool to write a manual on this stuff.

Suzanne just posted some realizations she's had recently and I'm really glad she did. They center, as have a lot of our conversations since becoming parents, around how communities, and the Baha'i community in particular, can better integrate families, parents, and children. The issue we're facing isn't so much what families can bring to the community, because that seems so clear. When you think about it, many parents are doing all of the core activities pretty much 24/7--always teaching their kids, praying together, and trying to translate what's being learned into virtuous behavior. But on the other end, how can communities both appreciate and support what's going on in families and the services that parents are providing. One of the things that brought this question home to me was hearing a parent of a young child, recently moved into the community, being asked what they're going to do to support the community and the study circle process. As if spending every waking moment, literally, creating the basic building block of society wasn't enough. And it goes from things like this to making the spaces we meet in more family friendly, to holding events at times when children aren't going to bed, or having children feel like they're contributing to the community and not simply being looked after.

I don't say these things to criticize, or to say that parents shouldn't have to do any of the work in terms of building community support. It is a two way street. The underlying desire is to help in the creation of the kinds of communities that Baha'u'llah came to establish, where everyone feels welcomed, everyone feels loved, and everyone feels like they can fulfil the purpose of their lives.

I will say this though. If you want to quickly become best friends with parents in your community, offer to babysit. Nothing says welcome home more than an offer to spend time with someone else's children (even if they're like Amia and there's only a select few that she's willing to be left alone with).

Amia sees things, man. Things you and I can't. Tonight, while Suzanne was at Feast, Amia and were hanging out because she was TIRED and not ready to handle a large group of people without screeching at some point, probably as we're trying to leave. So we're wrestling on the bed and stop for a second, then says the most amazing thing. What follows is a transcript:She says, "Angow". I say, "What"?"Angow", she replies. "Angel?", I say. "Yes, Angow"."Where?"She points to her left, towards the wall, and says, "Oer" (that means over there)."Angel over there?"."Ya!".Let me explain. To our memory, Suzanne and I have never said angel to her. We never talk about angels to each other. Even when we talk about spirits we never use the word angel.

What kind of just, loving God would create a station like HBO, guide talented writers and actors to it in a divine congregation, and churn out new seasons of The Sopranos, Deadwood, and the new show Big Love, and then leave me out of the picture? Are those the actions of a kind God?

It reminds me of the stuff Saul Alinsky used to do in Chicago back in the day. I read one of his books, Rules for Radicals. He was really involved in working with communities to demand equitable hiring practices by companies. The stuff they did, the power that they leveraged was just so creative. Some examples. A major department store had no African Americans in management positions, even though a lot of the lower level staff were black and had worked there for years. So one day they got a huge number of people, almost all black, to shop at the store. A lot of white people wouldn't even enter the store. Then, 5 minutes before closing, all the people that had been standing around browsing showed up at the cashiers wanting to pay with credit cards. Hundreds of people were organized to do this. They only had to do that once. Another time a company wasn't budging on treating their employees fairly, so they threatened them where it hurt. Everyone ate a lot of beans. Then they got tickets to the opera. To a show where most of the company's executives were going. Again, they only had to do that once.

Tonight while Amia and I were wrestling on the bed she found herself on her back. She then did what came naturally. She did "This little piggy...". It was the first time I'd seen her do it on herself. She went through most of her toes, but in her version all of the piggies "Go wawawa a' da way home" instead of just the one.

Like the Bakers, we've found that Amia has just had another cognitive explosion after our vacation. She's really different. She doesn't like to interact like a baby so much anymore. For example, she doesn't like it when people get up in her grill as is customary when interacting with babies. She's also developed her own musical taste. Within a couple chords of some songs you can hear a "no, no, no, no!" from the back seat. She's also begun talking A LOT more. Using sentences, clearer words, and this cool thing where she just talks for several minutes at a time. You can only make out several words, like grandma, piggy, mama, daddy, Matt, baby Liza (that's a new one and we're not sure where it came from), Theresa, Maya, fish, penguin. All some of her most favorite subjects. But the cool thing is that it sounds like an adult talking 'cause it matches speech patterns and rhythms. You can tell when she's telling you something excited that happened, or funny, or just playing with sounds, and she'll often pause and wait for us to respond. It's pretty amazing. I can't wait till all the words and sounds come together and we can make out all this fun stuff that she's telling us.