Neediest Families Fund: Single mom hopes education, internship pulls family out of struggles

Sunday

Dec 22, 2013 at 12:01 AM

NEW BEDFORD — Stephanie Alves has a clear message to her two children.

JONATHAN DARLING

NEW BEDFORD — Stephanie Alves has a clear message to her two children.

"If you work hard at something, eventually it will pay off," the 31-year-old single mother said.

Unfortunately, her 13-year-old son, Devyn, doesn't always buy it.

"I keep saying that once we get over this bump, everything will be fine, but then another bump in the road appears," Stephanie said. "He doesn't believe it anymore. When I tell him that everything's going to be OK, he sometimes reacts negatively to it. The hardest part is seeing him get discouraged."

Bumps in the road are nothing new to Stephanie, Devyn, and Cameryn, 8. Medical and financial problems have set them back, but Stephanie is stepping on the gas pedal of education to make sure the worst is behind them.

She is months away from walking across the stage as a graduate of Bristol Community College. She has an internship at GNB Voc-Tech (she's a 1998 graduate). And she is in the process of putting her health problems behind her once and for all.

"The struggles people go through, in the end, they make us a better person," Stephanie said. "We can use those experiences to not only make us better, but help others in those situations."

A tragedy at Normandin Middle School earlier this year helped Stephanie decide what career she wanted to pursue.

One day in February, Devyn came home from school with a letter from the principal. A student had committed suicide, and the school was offering counseling services in the wake of the tragedy.

"I knew right there that I wanted to work with families," she said. "It's so sad what happened."

At the time, she was already enrolled in human services classes at BCC, but reading that letter — which still sits on her desk in her North End apartment — made her focus on helping families, especially ones in difficult situations.

"There are so many people out there in bad situations," she said. "Where do you go? Who do you talk to? Who is there to help you? These are the questions I want to answer for them."

The Dean's List student has hit the books hard over the past two years, and now she's taking that knowledge out into the real world.

Part of her graduation requirements at the school is doing an internship. She went to Jimmy Owens, coordinator of guidance at GNB Voc-Tech, about an internship at the school and how she could fit her desire to help people in difficult situations in with the GNB Voc-Tech system.

After meeting with Owens, passing a CORI check and filling out much paperwork with both BCC and GNB Voc-Tech, Stephanie started her internship this fall. One of tasks is compiling a comprehensive directory of resources available to students and faculty at the school. To accomplish that task, she spends two days a week out in the community, meeting with social service organizations, finding out what services they offer, and compiling it for the school.

When she's not out meeting with social service organizations, she shadows guidance counselors at the school and helps students with a career training program.

"She's doing a wonderful job," Owens said. "She's been very helpful. She has a great understanding of what these folks are going through because of her own struggles."

Stephanie has crawled over several roadblocks on her way to becoming a stellar student with a bright future.

One thing that sticks out in her mind is the death of her best friend when she was just a teenager. A month after graduating from high school, the friend asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday. Stephanie answered with a trip to the beach.

"He drowned that day at Horseneck," Stephanie said. "I felt so guilty for a long time afterwards. I was depressed. I kept blaming myself because it was my idea to go to the beach."

She battled through a bout with cervical cancer when she was a child, and in her adult years has had several problems, including surgery three years ago resulting from Endometriosis, a female health disorder that occurs when cells from the lining of the womb grow in other areas of the body, causing pain and irregular bleeding.

As recently as Thursday, Stephanie underwent a colonoscopy because her colon is attached to a Fallopian tube. However, it didn't stop her from getting a 96 on a Biology final at BCC Friday.

She worked for most of her life, first at the Chamberlain International School in Middleboro for several years before leaving to take up a post at a dental office.

"I was working third shift at the school," Stephanie said. "I loved the job, I loved working with the kids, but it became too much with two kids of my own at home."

She worked at the dental office for several months until she got a bad case of the flu, which sidelined her for more than a month. When she recovered, her job was no longer there, and she was left applying for and receiving unemployment benefits.

Unable to find a job, Stephanie decided to explore the possibility of going back to school. She applied for and was awarded a Pell grant to pay tuition, and was able to keep her unemployment benefits through the first year at school. Earlier this year when her unemployment benefits ran out, she was able to secure financial assistance from the Department of Transitional Assistance, which provides her about $500 a month under the condition that she keep a full course load at BCC.

She combines then $500 a month with almost the same amount of food stamps to provide for the children. She said she receives a small amount of child support from the family of Cameryn's father, while she receives nothing from Devyn's father.

Months away from graduating, she is weighing her options for the future. She wants to enroll at Bridgewater and continue her education, but knows that she can only do it part time.

"When I graduate (from BCC), the (DTA financial assistance) is over," said Stephanie, who offered a copy of her professional two-page resume with cover letter. "So I'll have to do it at night while working during the day."

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