Midnight Show, part one, part two, part three; Jack/Ianto/PC Andy; R-18/Rated; 1000words; For dancy_dreamer for being made of all kinds of sexy awesomeness. ILYBABI.

[Part 2 – in which a peeping Weevil is really a peeping...Andy!?]

Ianto tried not to shiver as he rested his arms upon the bonnet of the SUV and spread his legs as instructed; the chill night air threatening to freeze him to death before PC Andy Davidson finally finished patting Jack down for what had to be the umpteenth time since extracting the pair of them from the SUV. What exactly he expected to find on them (aside from an array of flavoured condoms and a rather large and very well used tube of KY Jelly of course) was anyone’s guess.

“Cheer up, Ianto,” Jack said, calling his attention with a wide grin, “it could be worse.”

Ianto turned his head slowly, glaring at Jack in a very not-amused sort of way. “And how could it possibly be any worse?” He dared to ask, taking the chance to lift his arms from the bonnet and fold them across his bare chest in a bid to get more warmed up. He eyed Jack’s coat jealously. At least Jack had still been wearing that when Andy arrived. Ianto was in nothing but an unbuttoned shirt and his underpants and he was bloody damn cold.

A sudden flash of flesh caught his attention as Andy shifted Jack’s coat aside and Ianto’s teeth stopped chattering momentarily. Okay, in all fairness, all Jack was wearing was the coat. He smirked slightly.

“Well for one thing,” Jack began, grinning at Ianto’s look and waggling his eyebrows as Andy proceeded to drop to his knees behind him, his hands padding up the back of Jack’s bare legs as if his very skin were somehow hiding a weapon. “We could have been spotted by any police officer in Cardiff,”

“Yes, I had been thinking along a similar line,” Ianto agreed, stealthily turning himself so that he could lean up against the SUV instead.

“Try not to think too hard on it, gentlemen,” Andy piped up, narrowing his eyes as he glanced over at Ianto. Ianto shrugged, hugging himself a little tighter. He’d already been victim to Andy’s thorough search.

“A little bit higher,” Jack tried, looking over his shoulder. Andy looked up, his head cocking to the side in disbelief even as his hands followed the instructions- Jack’s coat riding upwards as Andy’s hands traced a path from the back of his knees to his upper thighs.

“Like this?” Andy asked. Ianto rolled his eyes, biting back a grin as Jack spread his legs a little further.

“Tut, tut, Captain,” Andy began, pinching at one of his buttocks, “surely you don’t think me that gullible?

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Officer,” Jack agreed with a slight wince which turned into gasp of surprise as he felt one of Andy’s fingers slipping between his cheeks, teasing across his entrance.

“Hmmm…” Andy agreed, pressing the very tip of his finger inside of Jack. Jack sucked in a deep breath, his muscles clenching as Andy slowly began to slip the digit deeper within him until… until… Andy swiftly removed his finger and pushing to his feet.

“Oh, come on!” Jack protested, twisting round and providing Andy with a full- and semi-aroused- frontal view. “If you’re going to sexually assault someone, officer, you could at least do it properly!”

“Yes. Well, that is to say… Weevil Hunting… it means a few different things and, um, with us it’s usually ah-,”

“It’s usually a euphemism for something else.” Jack finished, grinning.

“Something else?” Andy repeated slowly.

“Yes, sir.” Jack said. Ianto pinched his side and muttered something about how that was his line. Jack cleared his throat.

“And?”

“And what?”

“What is it a euphemism for?” Andy asked slowly, hands falling to his hips.

“Weevil Hunting?” Ianto tried, smiling awkwardly at the same moment Jack came out with his own answer.

“Sex.”

“Jack!” Ianto gasped.

“What!?” Andy gaped.

“Oh, really, like you didn’t suspect.” Jack scoffed, straightening and giving Andy one of his ‘come and get it’ looks.

“I can assure you-,” Andy tried only to be interrupted.

“Andy Davidson,” Jack said, “how very convenient for you to be patrolling this park after dark when we all know that this park is never patrolled. In fact, I’d go so far as to claim that the only people who visit parks like this, after dark, are those looking for a good time, those having a good time, and those- like yourself, I suspect- who like watching those who are having a good time.”

“I- um…” Andy mouthed somewhat wordlessly.

“Really, Jack?” Ianto asked, looking at Andy with a sudden curiosity.

“I didn’t want to say anything but you remember that peeping-Weevil we thought we saw last week?” Ianto nodded against his chest, “Well, I wasn’t sure at the time, but now? Now I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t a Weevil at all.”

“Oh…” Ianto said, smiling at Andy as he drew a hand down Jack’s chest, moving it slowly over his abdomen and down to curl fingers around his semi-erect cock. “What’ll we do with our peeping-Andy then?”

I've completely forgotten what I came on the net to dowatch read... Um... yeah... Jack in just his coat and Ianto in just his underwear spread-eagled on the hood of the SUV is doing funny things to me...