Slobberknocker Central Monday Night Recap #173
March 8th, 1999
The Opening Word:
I've gotten a ton of feedback regarding last week's "Bottom Line", and this
is the first time I've ever generated that much mail and had it ALL be
positive. (Well, one guy did write to call me a "wanker", but that was sent
before I'd uploaded the Recap to the website and sent it out to the
subscribers, so I guess I'm just a "wanker" in general). I think I said
everything there was to say, and if I had to boil that opinion down to one
short line, it would be "Hey, it's just wrestling. Lighten up."
Tried to watch Thunder last week but couldn't. Saw "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
make his surprise return. I can honestly say I'm pleased to see he's
healthy and recovering, but that in no way means I'd like to see him return
to the ring. I also blew off WCW's other various weekend shows. I tried to
watch WWF Live Wire, but I just can't stay interested in the WWF's capsule
recap shows (including Superstars). I missed the return of the AWA here in
Minnesota to television. Apparently they have a new 30 minute show hosted
by Verne and Greg Gagne which features old AWA matches. I'll try and catch
that one next Saturday. My local public access station is showing NWA
Worldwide again (formerly Music City Wrestling) after a lengthy hiatus.
They actually showed it the previous weekend too, but I tuned in late. I've
been taping it since last year, but there's really little there worth
watching. Taped this week's ECW show, but didn't watch it. Matter of fact,
I haven't watched any ECW for about two months now. I keep taping them, but
just can't bring myself to watch them. Someday I'll sit down and have an
ECW marathon session. Maybe. I'm amassing an absolutely monstrous pile of
pro-wrestling tapes. Guess I'm trying to make up for all that stuff I
DIDN'T tape from 1985 to 1995.
I did watch Sunday Night Heat. That show just keeps getting better, doing a
great job of setting up the next night's RAW, or serving as the countdown
show for the PPV's. This all brings up an issue which the WWF may be facing
now. There's been some talk about them expanding RAW to three hours, or
possibly adding a Saturday night show to the mix. I think I read somewhere
a rumor about Shotgun Saturday Night moving to USA. All I can really say is
I hope they don't expand RAW to three hours, and I'm a bit leery about
adding any new shows to the mix. Talk about overexposure. If they did add a
new show, though, here's sort of what I'd like to see. How about bringing
back the old "Saturday Night's Main Event" show? Do it once a month on USA.
Maybe the night before the PPV, or perhaps two weeks before to kind of
spread it out. What I'd REALLY like to see, however, is a "greatest hits"
kind of show. Make use of that massive WWF tape library. Show the new fans
of today the stuff that they missed. I've heard that's what WCW is thinking
of doing on that new TBS-offshoot network Turner is putting together. Why
not jump the gun on them and do it first on USA? Just a thought.
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WCW Monday Nitro:
Live/Taped: Live.
Length: Three Hours+.
Location: Worcester, Massachusetts.
HOUR ONE Hosted By: Nobody.
- The show starts with a video package featuring the construction of the
barbed-wire topped cage for this Sunday's PPV main event.
- Replay of the Ric Flair/Arn Anderson video from Thunder. The gist of
this lengthy clip is that Arn is having second thoughts about Flair's
attitude toward his son David, which has been to ignore him and focus on
winning the World Heavyweight Title from "Hollywood" Hogan. Arn can't
deal with the fact that Flair isn't more concerned about the welfare of
his son.
- Various promos are shown regarding video tapes, the WCW website, and the
Nitro Party thing happening at college campuses across the country.
- Live shot of the Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island.
Umm ... what about the arena?
- Nitro Girls "special look" at A.C. Jazz ... I think. You all know I
can't remember which is which. Maybe if I paid attention to these things
I could.
- NWO video featuring Hogan talking about what a slimeball Ric Flair is.
This is Monday, isn't it? Am I on the right channel?
- Another look at the live Nitro Party. Hey, what's Konnan doing there?
Hey, what about this week's WRESTLING show?
- Konnan music video.
Okay, something's up. We're halfway through the first hour and they have
yet to show us this week's wrestling venue. No ring, no crowd, no
announcers, no wrestlers, nothing. I don't want to hold it against them
if they're having some kind of "technical difficulties", but there's
been no kind of announcement to that effect.
- Another NWO video, this one featuring Hogan and Kevin Nash as they watch
Ric Flair's interview from last week. The long story short here is that
Hogan and Nash realize that their plan with David isn't having the
desired affect on Flair. Instead of taking him off his game plan, it's
instead made him narrow his focus on beating Hogan for the Title. After
some accusations of Flair being a poor father they decide to move on to
"Plan B".
- Lex Luger video. We're at about the 40 minute mark now--still no sign of
this week's live show.
- Goofy taped segment in which Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell are pulled
over by the police and forced to do "police work" to stay out of jail.
For the next couple of minutes they go around ticketing people for
smoking indoors, letting their parking meter expire, littering, and so
on. Pretty dumb, and clearly meant to be "comedy", as opposed to
recording an actual event.
- Back to the Nitro Party. Now Kidman is there. Maybe the rest of the
wrestlers will filter in before the night is over?
(My Dad is pissed, convinced that the NWO has "pirated" the signal again,
and that there are actually matches taking place that we're not seeing.
Having no clue as to what's really going on I can't mount an argument
against that notion.)
- Kevin Nash/Rey Mysterio video package.
- "Plan B", as revealed by the next NWO video. Hogan and Nash meet up with
fitness babe Torrie Wilson at a gun club. Torrie is blowing off tons of
ammo with her Glock 9mm. Nash says the thing with David isn't working,
and that they should all meet over dinner to discuss the next move. What
makes me think we'll be seeing that dinner meeting REAL soon? (The
dialog here is kind of creepy, knowing that Hogan and Nash are both
married men.)
- Yup ... the dinner meeting, filmed in Hogan's basement by the look of
things. Again Nash and Hogan say things to Torrie that married men
shouldn't be saying. Hogan has assessed their situation and decides
they're on solid ground, since everyone can now see what a jerk Flair is
for caring about his career more than his family. They then discuss Plan
B, which involves a girl Torrie has recruited to "do the job". This new
girl, whose last name we learn is "Robinson" (sparking references to
"The Graduate"), will get $20,000 from the NWO for seducing someone.
Flair, I assume. Or Anderson. How this plan can possibly work now that
we've all seen this is beyond me. I guess no one in WCW actually WATCHES
their own show.
(I should mention that all these NWO videos are shown in scratchy,
black-and-white Squish-O-Vision(tm), which pisses my Dad off to no end.
"The least the NWO could do is buy some goddamn color film!" My brother,
watching the show at work, phones up to giggle over how awful the show
has been thus far.)
- Opening credits ... at the 55 minute mark! YOU MEAN THE SHOW's ACTUALLY
GOING TO START NOW?! (Nope ... cut to commercial.)
HOUR TWO Hosted By: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyszko.
- "Mean" Gene Okerlund is in the ring. Is this live, or taped? Has the
live crowd been watching all this, or did they get to see some dark
matches? Or did the live show just now start? Beats me, as the
announcers act like the preceding hour NEVER TOOK PLACE!!!
Gene introduces Goldberg, but the Wolfpac's music plays instead. David
Flair and Torrie come out. Okerlund say this is Goldberg's time. David
says he's here to confront his father, and that he won't leave until
Flair comes out. Goldberg's music then starts, and since we've had four
minutes of live show thus far, it's time for a COMMERCIAL!
("Damn it!" yells my Dad, who has moved to the TV set in his room
because I'd been flipping over to RAW.)
Goldberg hits the ring. Words are exchanged and quickly Goldberg has
David by the neck, backed into the corner. Split-screen view shows that
papa Ric has just arrived and has seen what's going on in the ring.
Flair sprints out into the arena. Into the ring he goes and he lays a
chop on Goldberg, which the big man completely no-sells (cool!) David
and Torrie beat a hasty retreat as Goldberg moves in, grabs Flair, and
scoops him up for a bodyslam. The two start to argue, with the crowd
heavily booing Flair and cheering Goldberg. This is so COOL. Faster than
you can say "Space Mountain" Flair sets up a match between the two for
later tonight.
For posterity's sake I will mention that we've gone close to 75 minutes
now without a match. Make of that what you will, but I'm sure that's the
all-time record.
- RAVEN (w/ Chastity) vs. HAK
Raven/Hak's Rules, which mean anything goes. The two embrace, like old
friends reuniting, then they begin to brawl. Quickly the action spills
to the floor, then up the aisle. Raven suplexes Hak on the ramp. He
brings a table out from behind the curtain, lays Hak on it, climbs the
light gantry, and elbows Hak through the table. Bam Bam Bigelow then
comes out and starts to beat on both Hak and Raven, who are still
selling the table spot. The ref throws out the match because of
Bigelow's presence. The fighting continues, and all three make their way
backstage. Raven is thrown against a table ... Hak is thrown against a
ladder ... Bigelow is thrown against an ambulance. A rolling dumpster is
used. The three then take turns during moves on the hood of a white
stretch limo. Raven gives Hak an awesome looking DDT. Bigelow then does
a running splash on Raven on the hood. Later, Hak's face is nearly
slammed through the windshield! The absence of blood here will make any
that appears on Sunday's PPV look suspicious. In fact, I don't think
they can really outdo this at the PPV. Match it, sure, but not really do
anything that much more "extreme". Not that I'm complaining, though, as
I don't plan to get the PPV, and enjoyed seeing this for free. The
post-match brawl lasted twice as long as the actual match.
- Replay of the video clip which started the--THEY'RE NOT STARTING THE
SHOW OVER, ARE THEY?! We're halfway done!
- CHRIS JERICHO (w/ Ralphus) vs. LIZMARK, JR.
Jericho comes out with a dog collar and chain, and talks Lizmark into
making this a "Dog Collar Match". The chain comes into play a few times,
and Jericho uses it, along with the Liontamer, to get the win.
- The moratorium on Scott Steiner's filthy speeches is apparently over, as
he and Bagwell come out and deliver one. Not quite as rank as some of
them, Steiner is still able to use his popular "hooches", "freaks" and
"hook-up" lines. Buff must be borrowing some of Steiner's "vitamins", as
his arms are starting to get as freakishly large and veined and
Steiner's.
- SCOTT STEINER (w/ Buff Bagwell) vs. BOOKER T.
Long, dull match, which Steiner wins with the Recliner after Bagwell
shoves Booker off the top turnbuckle. Booker "passes out" rather than
submitting. They then beat on him with a steel chair. I didn't catch any
mention of Scott Hall and his U.S. Title, so I'm wondering if his match
with Booker T. has been pulled from the PPV? Hall recently injured his
foot (someone drove a car over it) and he has been out of action.
HOUR THREE Hosted By: Schiavone, Tenay and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
- As "Mean" Gene is interviewing Jerry Flynn he (Flynn) is attacked by
Ernest Miller and Sonny Onoo. Onoo cuts Flynn's ponytail off (or part of
it, anyway).
- SCOTT NORTON vs. REY MYSTERIO, JR.
Remember what Rey did last week to Bigelow, and the week before to Nash?
Here that outcome is reached by even less believable means. Norton
spends several minutes totally destroying Rey, who gets in no offense
whatsoever. Then as Norton is telling Rey he can pin him at any time,
Rey makes a miracle recovery, kicks Norton in the nuts, Norton does
this comical collapse to the mat, and Rey covers for the upset pin. I'm
no fan of Norton's, but this was pure bullshit. I can't believe they
talked him into doing it.
- Nitro Girls, followed by our third look at the steel cage construction
video.
- BRET "HITMAN" HART vs. VAN HAMMER
Hart takes his sweet-ass time in this one, securing the win with the
Sharpshooter at the eleven minute mark. Seemed more like one
hundred-eleven.
- Nash and Hogan come out and take over the announcing booth.
- Cage construction clip, fourth airing.
- GOLDBERG vs. RIC FLAIR
The match starts with Flair being unable to make a dent in the nearly
invincible Goldberg. Nash and Hogan speculate that Flair is looking to
take a shortcut and sure enough, Flair pokes Goldberg's eyes. Several
low blows follow. The match then gets real interesting, if for no other
reason than what the implications are as to who is the heel and who is
the babyface here, when it all comes crashing down with the usual NWO
run-in. Hogan and Nash join the fray and the show ends with everyone
fighting in the ring.
- This Thursday: Nothing announced.
- Next week: Nothing announced.
Comments:
Another grand experiment by WCW, this week's show was. Can't say as it was
a completely bad idea, in some respects, as it's something I've suggested
in the past. Of course I've done so fully realizing that by doing so, you'd
make that first hour completely unwatchable. I was fine with that, if it
made the second and third hours better. It may have worked here. These last
two hours flowed better than any on Nitro in a long time. But you can't
ignore how bad that first hour was. Well, actually it's real easy to just
ignore it altogether, which has been my suggestion for some time. If you're
one who has to watch all three hours, though, this really, really sucked.
It's pretty much an admission by WCW that their going up against RAW means
more than the overall show. That's why little happened in the first hour in
the past, and why nothing at all happened here. Clearly their strategy is
to hopefully get that usually high first hour rating, then be very
competitive in the second and third hours by offering focused, filler-free
content. That high first hour rating would then give them the ratings win
if their numbers are even close to RAW's. Of course this plan goes right
out the window if they don't get that high first hour rating, and if the
later content manages to pull them close to RAW. I suspect the first half
of the second hour will do well, and so will the main event. But the rest?
I doubt it. The numbers may be close this week, but there's also every
chance that RAW will completely blow them out of the water.
Not that I give a rat's ass about the ratings, mind you. I can only tell
you what I liked, and that included the abovementioned first half of hour
two and the main event. The rest was lame, and I didn't like at all having
to sit through that first hour without any advance warning. Next week I'll
be watching something else in all likelihood, and will blow through it via
fast forward on tape at a later time.
Here is the Uncensored card, near as I can tell:
* Flair vs. Hogan. "First Blood" Cage Match for the World Title.
* Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner. (Still on?)
* Bagwell vs. Rick Steiner. (Still on?)
* Mysterio vs. Nash.
* Raven vs. Hak vs. Bigelow. "Hardcore Triangle Match".
* Jericho vs. Saturn. "Dog Collar Match".
* Hall vs. Booker T. U.S. Title Match. (Still on?)
* Windham/Hennig vs. the Horsemen. "Strap/Lumberjack" Tag Title Match.
* Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero. Cruiserweight Title Match
Is Bret Hart on the card?
WCW hasn't mentioned the "First Blood" stipulation on TV (because they're
"G-Rated" now). Also on the line is Flair's status as WCW President and his
career. If Flair wins he not only gets the Title, he stays WCW President
permanently. If he loses, he has to retire. Since it's a "First Blood"
match it's almost a lock Flair will win. I say "almost" because this still
is WCW we're talking about here. Any of these things can be reversed in a
return match between the two.
Once again the whole question comes up of how can any WCW Titles be on the
line, or how can any of the match stipulations be enforced, since this PPV
is supposedly "unsanctioned" by WCW officials? Not a new question, though,
since this very issue has arisen every year since the first Uncensored PPV
in 1995.
Unless Kidman and Chavo deliver a stellar match, this PPV has the makings
of a monster bomb. The numerous gimmicks and stipulations guarantee that
there will be very little "wrestling" on the card. It's going to take a lot
of effort to ensure that all the unbridled mayhem adds up to a decent card.
One can expect plenty of violence and blood, but do any of the matches
"mean" anything, other than the main event? The only other one I can see is
what's going on between Kidman and Chavo, but that's been a vastly
underhyped running feud, and has been so subtle that I'm sure most WCW fans
have overlooked it. Jericho and Saturn also have their issue, but that's
been played up as second to how weird Saturn has become lately. The rest of
the matches on the card have been courtesy Insta-Feud(tm), and were slapped
together for this event. Whether Flynn beats Miller or who wins the
Triangle Match or if Benoit and Malenko win the Tag Team belts mean very
little to the average WCW fan. Maybe they'll set aside some time from all
the Nitro clips on Thunder to hype these "lesser" matches.
My own gut feeling is that the show will come off okay, being three hours
of mindless fun, but that whatever happens will be completely overshadowed
by some surprise twist in the finish of the main event. Arn Anderson will
turn on Flair, Flair will join the NWO, Sting will return, Randy Savage
will return ... something like that.
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WWF RAW is WAR:
Live/Taped: Taped 3/2.
Length: Two Hours+.
Location: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
WWF RAW Hosted By: Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler.
- Clips from Heat open the show.
- The Rock is on hand to kick off this week's Cavalcade of Promos. He
picks up where he left off on Heat, casting doubt on his fellow
Corporation member Paul Wight. Wight shoving the Rock, providing Steve
Austin a steel chair to use a Kane last Monday, knocking out Kane with a
kick, and his failure to protect the Rock from a Stone Cold Stunner on
Heat, all add up in the laundry list of charges against him. The Rock
calls Wight out so they can settle things between them.
Out comes Vince McMahon instead. McMahon tells the Rock to stop airing
Corporation dirty laundry in public. He tries to soothe the Rock by
blaming all his ills on the overly greedy fans, who expect too much out
of the Rock. The Rock is unswayed, and still wants a piece of Wight.
Here comes Wight, and quickly the insults fly. Just as quickly Mankind
comes out too, and he once again offers to referee a match between those
two. McMahon turns the tables by declaring that Mankind, if he wants to
be the second referee in the main event at WrestleMania, must face Steve
Austin in a match tonight. Wight will be the special referee, and the
Rock will get to watch from ringside. This should settle all the Rock's
misgivings about Wight, McMahon says.
Steve Austin comes out and calls everyone a bunch of jackasses.
Cut to the Undertaker leading the Ministry of Darkness through the back
halls. They come across a pair of jobbers in a dressing room and pummel
them, as a message to the Big Bossman.
- Mankind has Austin cornered in the back, and suggests that he let him
win so that he'll be the second ref at WrestleMania. Austin says no, and
says that he'll kick his ass instead. Mankind says he doesn't want his
ass kicked, and that if Steve should change his mind, to flash him a
signal in their match. *Wink!*
- D-LO BROWN vs. OWEN HART (w/ Debra McMichael)
A "Steel City Street Fight". Taking place at the same time as the wild
Raven/Hak/Bigelow brawl on Nitro, this paled by comparison. They use a
cookie sheet, a broom, do some moves up on the stage, but the finish
comes when Jeff Jarrett comes out with a guitar. He throws it to Owen,
but D-Lo intercepts it and knocks Owen out, covering for the pin. Owen
is busted open and bleeding from the shot.
The Undertaker is directing the members of the Ministry to stake out
different parts of the building to look for the Bossman.
- THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS vs. BOB HOLLY/AL SNOW (w/ Head)
Snow and Holly come to blows after just a few minutes. The Road Dogg and
Billy Gunn put Holly away with a spike pilediver off the turnbuckles.
The Dogg, Holly and Snow will square off in a "Triple Threat Match" at
WrestleMania for the Hardcore Title. The lights go out immediately
follow the pin, and the wrestlers in the ring are set upon by the
Ministry, who beat the crap out of them as the Undertaker looks on. He
offers a few words of gloom and doom for the Bossman.
Wight and the Rock are shown in their separate dressing rooms getting
ready for tonight's main event.
- Jim Ross is in the back with Steve "Dr. Death Williams, telling him that
the WWF isn't going to screw with him the way they've done with good old
J.R. Cole and Lawler talk about Ross' Bells Palsy, as a video package is
shown featuring clips from last week, a picture of Ross with his late
mother, Williams getting knocked out by Bart Gunn in the Brawl For All,
and an old photo of Williams and Ross out on a football field.
Jim Ross makes his way to the ring carrying a shopping bag. He asks Cole
to come into the ring. Cole asks what's up with the shopping bag? Ross
pulls out parts of the ninja costume Williams wore a few weeks back on
RAW, saying this was the gimmick the WWF marketing "geniuses" had come
up with for Williams. Ross gets Cole to admit that it was J.R. who got
him started in the business, then gets on Cole's case, accusing him of
being one of the people behind-the-scenes who tried to keep Ross from
returning to his job. He says Cole went around saying that Ross'
paralyzed features would "scare little children and animals". Before
Cole can even deny it Ross gives him a swift kick in the nuts, then
takes Cole's spot at the announcing desk. Lawler is startled at this
turn of events, and even more startled when Ross tells him he's happy to
be back at his side. Cole limps away from the ring area. Vince McMahon,
backstage with Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco, wants to know what the
hell Ross thinks he's doing. McMahon snares Terry Taylor and tells him
to go out and get rid of Ross, and that Cole will get the rest of the
night off and Taylor will take his place. McMahon then tells Patterson
and Brisco to go keep on eye on the Ministry. Taylor comes out and tells
Ross that he has to leave, per McMahon's orders. Ross calls him the "Red
Rooster", and asks him if he's going to start acting "cocky" (ooh).
Steve Williams comes out too and escorts Ross from the ring area, while
Ross sputters about that "mid-carder" Taylor trying to fill his shoes.
I didn't get the angle last week, but I do now. Ross is acting as he is
to get his job back, because the WWF (in storyline terms) doesn't want
him to come back in his present condition. The question yet to be
answered is how much of all this is a plot against J.R., and how much is
in his head because he's in less than 100% health. We, the fans, should
root for Ross in his fight to get his job back from the cruel, uncaring
WWF. Ross is also out to see that Steve Williams gets the respect due to
him, while Williams is on hand to make sure his friend Ross doesn't get
in too far over his head. Great stuff. I'm hoping this leads to a
confrontation between Ross and McMahon somewhere down the road.
Goldust and Ryan Shamrock are getting cozy in the back. The Blue Meanie
sits nearby, crying because Goldust has a girl and he doesn't. At least
I think that why he's crying.
- Patterson and Brisco have dressed in Druids robes, in an effort to go
incognito in their search for the Ministry.
- KEN SHAMROCK vs. GOLDUST (w/ Ryan & the Blue Meanie)
Short match, with Goldust getting Shamrock set up for the Shattered
Dreams fairly quickly. The Blue Meanie then chooses that moment to swipe
a kiss from Ryan, which unfortunately grosses her out and distracts
Goldust. Shamrock escapes from the corner, belly-to-belly-suplexes
Goldust, and covers for the pin. Post-match the Meanie serves himself up
as the sacrifice to Shamrock as Goldust and Ryan make their escape.
Shane McMahon, Test and Chyna prowl the back halls. This is followed by
another look at the "mean streets" of Greenwich, Connecticut.
- Patterson and Brisco have come upon a door, behind which they believe
the Ministry is hiding out. Brisco suggests they burst in and take them.
When Patterson balks, Brisco runs down his past athletic achievements.
WWF WAR ZONE Hosted By: Terry Taylor and Jerry Lawler.
- X-PAC (w/ Triple H) vs. TEST (w/ Shane McMahon & Chyna)
Shane sits in for color commentary. I think Chyna is wearing more makeup
on her face than actual clothing this week. Test, in his long leather
pants, looks a lot like Diesel. X-Pac does his usual underdog thing,
while Test does some big power moves. Shane McMahon makes this match
hard to watch by being his usual "boo-ya!" ebullient self. The finish
comes when Chyna tries to interfere, but Triple H pulls her out of the
ring. Shane then runs in and clocks X-Pac with the belt (unseen by the
ref), allowing Test to cover for the pin. Triple H chases Shane around
the ring, only to run right into a clothesline from Chyna, who had
ducked down below the apron. After she and Test leaves, Triple H gets on
the mic and says he's going to find Chyna and settle the thing between
them tonight once-and-for-all.
Patterson and Brisco have decided to rush the room they believe the
Ministry is in. They shove open the door and enter, only to find the
Godfather and a pair of Pittsburgh Ho's! The Godfather chases them out,
giving each a slug to the head. After he's back in his room Brisco asks
Patterson if he got a look at the blonde Ho? "Oh Jerry, you drive me
crazy!" replies Patterson.
- Triple H is looking for Chyna.
- THE GODFATHER (w/ Ho's) vs. STEVE BLACKMAN
The Godfather offers Blackman his choice of Ho's for the night, then
offers him both Ho's. Blackman accepts. As he's leaving to the applause
of the fans, Blackman is attacked by Darren Drozdov. He, Blackman and
the Godfather are just starting up a three-way brawl when the lights go
out and the Ministry makes another ring appearance, and engages in
another mass beating. More comments from the Undertaker aimed at the
Bossman.
Chyna. Walking.
- Chyna hits the ring and calls out Triple H. Out he comes and the two get
face-to-face--just as the lights go out. No, not the Undertaker again,
but Kane. Triple H attacks, but Kane shrugs him off. Chyna then grabs
hold of Triple H from behind. Kane raises his hand, points his finger,
and fires a jet of flame across the ring! Triple H ducks, with Chyna
taking the fireball in her face instead. Triple H quickly strips off his
shirt and presses it to her face. Kane grabs Triple H and tosses him
completely out of the ring! Cool. A pair of paramedics come out and Kane
clocks them as well. He scoops Chyna up himself and carries her to the
back.
- Kane has Chyna's head in his lap and he's rocking back-and-forth gently.
Hey, this is making me kind of misty-eyed!
- Sable comes out and takes a seat next to Lawler as Tori enters the ring
and awaits Luna. Sable shows off her Playboy photo spread to the King,
who slips into full pervert mode. Taylor says this is the fastest
selling issue of Playboy ever.
- TORI vs. LUNA
Luna is DQ'ed after about a minute for choking. After she leaves Sable
enters the ring and kicks Tori while she's still down, then rips her
t-shirt off. Lawler lays down the Playboy and, if you use slow-mo frame
advance on your VCR, you can kinda almost see something. Err--umm, or so
I've heard.
The Bossman has finally arrived at the arena. He is confronted by the
Undertaker, as the other Ministry members move in for the kill.
- The Undertaker leads the Ministry out onto the stage. The Undertaker's
large metal symbol is there waiting, and the Bossman is laid upon it and
tied down. As it's being hoisted up in front of the Titan-Tron, the
Bossman manages to rip free from his bonds and drop back down to the
stage. Before they can do much damage to him members of the Corporation
stream out to make the save. Massive melee ensues. The Undertaker is
eventually confronted by a number of policemen. After assaulting a
couple of the officers he's taken into custody. When he sticks out his
wrists to be cuffed, the large symbol hanging over the stage bursts into
flames. Paul Bearer is suspiciously on a cellphone with some unknown
person: perhaps the mysterious "higher power" the Undertaker has spoken
of in the past?
- Vince McMahon nearly gets himself arrested as he gloats over the
Undertaker being arrested. The Undertaker, in the back seat of the squad
car, just laughs.
The Rock comes out to take his place at the announcer's table.
- "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN vs. MANKIND
An okay ten minute match with an odd finish. After evenly battling
in-and-out of the ring, with neither getting much of an upper hand,
Mankind pulls out Socko and signals for the Mandible Claw. Austin rolls
out onto the apron. Mankind slaps on the Claw and referee Paul Wight
makes a super-fast ten count, giving Mankind the win. The Rock goes
ballistic, and even McMahon comes out to see what is going on. Before he
can ask many questions, though, he has to step in and keep Austin and
Wight apart. The Rock decides to attack Austin, and after trading a few
blows he is knocked from the ring. The show ends with Austin looking
puzzled in the ring, as the Rock gives Wight and McMahon a piece of his
mind.
- Next week: Nothing announced.
Comments:
Not much I can say about this week's show. I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed
what I saw, but I still wish we would get some lengthier matches with clean
finishes.
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The Bottom Line:
Big stretch of PPV's coming up through the rest of this month. The much
anticipated Evander Holyfield/Lennox Lewis boxing match is this coming
Saturday--the biggest fight in boxing now that Mike Tyson is back in the
slammer. WCW Uncensored is Sunday. the following weekend sees ECW serve up
Living Dangerously 1999. WrestleMania is the Sunday after that. I believe
there was a UFC PPV just this past weekend. It'll be interesting to see if
Uncensored can rise above the crowd and draw a large number of buys, and
how many PPV dollars will be left by the time WrestleMania rolls around at
the end of the month. Undoubtedly the loser of the bunch will be the ECW
PPV. They've gone through a tough stretch recently, with troubles amongst
their talent and finances. And now just when things seemed to be looking up,
they've found their show being dumped from several key markets (including
Atlanta and Boston).
There was a time when ECW offered a fresh alternative to the stale product
offered by the "Big Two". They took risks, had interesting talent, and
built a loyal fan base by trashing the larger competition.
Now days most of that talent has moved on to the other companies--companies
which have, generally speaking, gotten much better. It's ECW now which
seems stale. Where they were once close behind in the #3 promotion spot,
they've now slipped back into a distant #3 spot, looking as small-time as
many of the other indy feds out there. It's worth noting that given the
chance to go there or the WWF, the Public Enemy chose the WWF. Other
wrestlers on the open market, unable to go from the WWF to WCW and vice
versa, are looking at spots over in Japan, or the other indy promotions,
rather than lining up to go to ECW.
I don't really know how bad things are now for ECW, and I have no answers
about what they could do to improve. I know I don't care much for them now
in their current state, but I'd really hate to see them disappear
altogether.
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"Slobberknocker Central" and "Monday Night Recap" are copyright 1999 by
John Petrie, and all opinions expressed therein are his own, and not those
of "Internet Access, Inc". Check the "Slobberknocker Central" main page for
info on how to receive the "Recap" free via E-Mail every week.
Volume One, Number 173 of the "Monday Night Recap", March 8th, 1999.