Tuesday, November 06, 2012

A Good Day for Courage

Katherine Center

For years I've pondered,
pined, and prayed about having a family of my own. I vehemently defended those
who chose not to marry or have children and quietly wondered if I had made the
right choice. I knew I didn’t want to get married just so I could have a child.
But what was the alternative? My culture made it clear to me: marriage or no
family.

Meanwhile I worked and worked
and worked among Baptist women near and far, tolerated and loved. All the while
believing that together we could make a difference, we could increase
healthcare, education, and economic development among women globally. I still
believe we can, but I also believe the job is bigger than just Baptist women.
If we are to affect change at the level needed, we must work with women of all
denominations and religions. The task is too great and too important for
anything short of everyone.

More than a year ago I began
asking friends what they thought about the possibility of me having a baby
through a sperm donor. If this became a reality for me, would I ever work in
Baptist life again? I didn’t know any unmarried, pregnant Baptist women ministers.
That doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but I’ve never met one. Friends were
intrigued by my questions. Some were more enthusiastic than others in their
responses. Dissecting culture from call is an arduous task. Thankfully, the
Spirit began to lead and it was clear I had my answer.

Today I am seven months pregnant
and as my waistline grows, so does my desire to combine this new normal with a
consistent call to minister near and far. Now more than ever increasing
maternal health is in my thoughts. At the moment, I’m trying to quiet the
hypothetical voices of those who may learn of my news and never speak to me
again or even worse, tell me exactly what they think. If you had asked
me 20 years ago if I would be pregnant as an unmarried 38 year old I would have
laughed. But Sarah laughed too when she heard that she would have a baby.
That puts me in pretty good company. Mostly these days my laughter accompanies
excitement for the future. It is a good day for
courage, and so I share my story.

S

***For this post, I’m turning off
comments. I welcome your words of encouragement or kind questions. I have much
to share. You can email me at suzanahraffield@yahoo.com
or message me on facebook or twitter.

About Me

Lori is an associate pastor in New York State. She is a tenured NYC tour guide and makes the best macaroni and cheese north of Richmond. Lori and her husband have two children and one cuddly dog.
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Suzanah serves as Minister of Pops at Bold City Pops in Jacksonville, FL where she makes and sells fresh Florida ice pops. She can be reached at suzanahraffield@yahoo.com