My husband who has dementia reads most of the time. He can read fine but does not comprehend or understand what he is reading. I try to explain things to him about this but he ends up getting frustrated. He thinks I am the one who does not understand the topic. He will look at the same papers for hours and hours at a time.

3 Answers

It certainly is hard when the disease progresses. Each step on the way is a new challenge. What you are experiencing is very common. This is your current "normal."

Pick your battles. Reading without comprehending seems to me to be harmless To keep their loved ones occupied many people give them towels to fold, taking some from the linen closet if there are none fresh from the laundry. Reading the same thing over and over without understanding it seems to me to be on a par with folding the same towels over and over.

Ordering things on the phone has a higher potential for a negative outcome. It is a good thing he can't usually complete such calls himself. When you take over, disconnect his call or dial the weather number if he insists that you call, and then place the order and say, "Oh, you are out of that item? When will it be in stock? OK we'll try again then." This is geneally easier than convincing him that he doesn't need/can't afford the item. This particular behavior may drop off on its own. I think my husband's phone period lasted a couple of months.

If you keep in mind that arguing, reasoning, and explaining really don't work with someone who is losing his ability to reason that may reduce your frustration. You cannot fix the problem. The goal of making every one less miserable is a good one!

I was just wondering if anyone else has this problem. He is constantly wanting to call numbers and everything is free to him. He cannot communicate on the phone very well at all. We mostly leave him alone until he drags us into it. He gets frustrated because we do not see it from his point of veiw. My goal is to make him less miserable but its getting harder as his disease progresses to the point of being irrational.

Why is this a problem? Why is it important that he comprehend what he is reading? If this is how he wants to spend some time, maybe it reminds him of happier times when he did understand what he was reading, maybe it makes him feel "normal" to be doing such a normal thing. What would you rather he be doing?

Why point out to him that he isn't understanding it, when that only makes him frustrated? What is your goal?

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