Monday, November 2, 2015

Every Man Has His Place In Time - Reflections of Life in Song & Lyrics I Couldn't Accept

Go On Without Me by Brett Eldredge Begins with These Poignant Lyrics - 'Every Man Has His Place in Time'...

When you've lost someone close to you, you understand that time only cements in the fact that you'll never see them again in this life. Of course, your own personal belief system may bring you comfort if it happens to include a knowingness that you'll see them again. Don't ask me how I know, I just know in my heart that we live on, just in a different way. However, I do respect the belief system of others who may see life and death differently. For me, there's no doubt, death is yet another beginning.In my plight to understand the pain of losing dad, I've written a great deal about it and in fact have an entire category dedicated to him at Drageda.com - The Heart of Country Music. Even though I've already written an Emotional Review (I call them ER's ..lol) about this terrific song by Mr. Brett Eldredge, I feel compelled to re-introduce this song to those who may not have had the privilege of hearing it. Graduating to a Place Where Accepting These Lyrics Became PossibleWhen dad first passed away, other than what I had written for his funeral, I wasn't able to write for months about it. For me, it felt like writing about dad would cheapen his life. Sorry if that comes across wrong, it's just that the use of 'mere words' to describe this legend couldn't possibly convey who he was. And if I had to explain him 'in words', for me, it would have disrespected the grandness of who he was, who he is. I got over those feelings.And the words poured out.And I wrote and wrote and wrote some more.In fact to honor him, I decided to write about him and dedicate a song to him on the one month anniversary of his passing for one full year. I lived up to that, and each month he lived again in words, and in my memory.Getting over this kind of loss, the loss of someone so integral to who you are and who you've become is impossible. The truth is, we never 'get over it'. It doesn't matter how many months, years or decades go by, they live forever and who the hell would want it to be otherwise. To have known this kind of love, that's the eternal gift. The gift of love, the gift of having allowed yourself to be loved and to love with such depth that you dare the pain of loss back into your life ...why? ... because that pain reminds you how sweet and wonderful you had it and how much love you're capable of giving and receiving. Love with all your heart. My dad would say 'I love you' to people all the time. He was a large, tough man too. Yet his teddy bear heart was witnessed by many. Especially my brothers and I. He loved us so much, so so much that when he was passing away, I couldn't let him go, couldn't give him permission to let go, and I wouldn't say goodbye. He wasn't conscious near the end, and I would sit in silence by his bedside holding his hand just staring outside the window of his hospital room. Watching the swaying tall trees outside of that room, it's at that point I decided to create a life-marker. On windy days the tall swaying cedar trees in my own back yard bring me back to my dad: I couldn't say goodbye to dad, and now the swaying of trees remind me that I didn't need to. And I never will say goodbye. The trees have become my rocking chair; when they sway, dad is here.Which brings me back to the lyrics of this song, 'Go On Without Me'

After about one year, I was able to accept these lyrics. Sounds funny to say that doesn't it? ..'accept these lyrics'The words 'go on without me' were words I had chosen to reject in that first year, and I'm 'not going on without you' dad ... I'm going on with you, with you forever being a part of me. Your love, your memory, your face, your voice, your hugs, all that is you, is still you, and having you with me in spirit is better than to have never had you at all.

The beautiful lyrics to this song are lyrics I know my Dad or any lost loved one would want to say to us...

"I'll always hear the prayers in your head late at night,I'm walking right beside you when nobody's by your side,I don't want you to cry over my memory,

So go on without me, without me,

Every breath of life is short and sweet so glad that I'm up here and I got to see you go on without me"

10 comments:

This made me all teary-eyed. How fortunate you were to have a father for whom you were able to grieve so much because you missed him so much. So many have not had fathers they truly loved and who loved them.

Beautiful post! so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel because I felt the same about both of my parents. I actually drank every day all day long for a month when my Dad passed on. It took that long to be able to face reality. And I still miss both of them so much! This week I dreamed about both of them.

I can understand the reaction you had, my physical reaction was being unable to eat very much for quite a while, just felt sick - sorry for your loss too, there really aren't words to explain this stuff is there

Barbara, one of the traits I like best about you is that you love so deeply. The physical separation of death is often more than we think can bare. If it were not for the people that we also love who are still here with us, we might not see the need to even try to survive ourselves. Every time I read one of your tributes to your Dad, I am always touched by your poignant grief, but I am also grateful for you that you had (have) a father so worthy of love and deep devotion.

Wow, that was moving Cynthia. Brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. You're so right about having other people still here in our lives to love - that sure does get us through doesn't it. Especially the kids and grandkids, to watch them just starting out, gives me reason to want to be with them for a long time yet. In the end it's only the love that matters.

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