PlanetFargo

A Presidential Scrapbook, Part 2

Horrified villagers look on as the dogs feed on the carcasses of their fallen neighbors. "Get back you flea-infested mongrel!"

MEDIEVAL FRANCE -- Amid fears that dog attacks would cripple the nation's ability to harvest enough food to upgrade the town center, Republican candidate George W. Bush denied allegations that he was responsible. "I have not let any dogs out within the last 25 years," he claimed.

"Who let the dogs out?" Gore demanded. "Who? Who?"

Padlocked, Uncounted Ballot Box Found Near Mogols, Wolves

Could this box hold the key to the Frank civilization?

In a related story, a padlocked election box was found at the edge of a forest in the Mongol empire, next to some flesh-hungry wolves. After six casualties it was retrieved, and believed to hold uncounted votes that may have held the key to swaying the election. "People must remember that every vote counts!" said Jay Berkhowitz, local District Attorney. "Unless, of course, more than half of the state votes for one candidate, in which case all of the state's electoral votes automatically go to that candidate, in effect rendering many of your votes worthless according to the system carefully designed by our forefathers to keep them in power."

Hours later, Berkhowitz and other election officials opened the box and were disappointed to find that it merely contained fragments of the One True Cross.

"We're confident that once the Republican party recovers the other artifacts on the map, we can just defend our position until the timer runs out to win the game," party spokesmen commented.