Posting this publicly is making me shit 100% of the bricks in the entire world.

The title is not a lie, so if you don’t want to read about me going to a sex club, TURN BACK NOW. That said, this is about as tame as it gets. Like, if you’re picturing some 50 Shades shit, calm yo ass. It’s mostly just me describing articles of clothing and referring to sex as “banging.”

Aight. You’re still here? And thus, presumably, not related to me? Good.