'Modern Family' recap: Best lines from last night

Michael Slezak will be back next week with his regular Modern Family recap. But for this week’s episode, “Run For Your Wife,” we couldn’t leave you hanging without at least celebrating the show’s most hilarious lines. As with every week, I feel like there are so many that I could just cut and paste the entire script. But short of that, here are some of my personal faves:

“June 21, found a stick. June 22, that’s it.”– Luke, reading from his journal

“That’s it?” — Claire

“It was a really cool stick.” — Luke

“He’s right, it looked like a snake.” — Phil

“Am I driving him to school or is he riding his burro?” — Jay, about Manny’s poncho

“Oh boy, and I was hoping we still had a few good years before the mind started to go,” Gloria after Jay repeated himself

“The other day, Claire was like, ‘You have to move your car, there’s no space in the garage for both of our cars.’ What she’s saying, you know, is that I should probably get a sports car.” — Phil demonstrating his special understanding of women

“Batman doesn’t get picked on and he wears a cape. A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around.” — Gloria, defending Manny’s clothing choices

“Batman doesn’t get picked on because he’s a muscular genius. Manny can’t make it to the top bunk.” — Jay