6 easy ways to support your child's mental health

Children's mental health in Britain is seeing a steady decline, with the latest statistics showing that over half of mental health problems start by the age of 14 and 75% by the age of 18. In the news out today, Childline even revealed it has carried out its highest number of counselling sessions with young people having suicidal thoughts. In 2016-17, a total of 22,456 sessions were given to UK children.

Surveys suggest that factors such as school, financial worry and an increased terror threat are all taking their toll on 'Generation Z', so what can we do to support their mental health and promote a positive environment in which they can thrive?

While many parents might know that their child is suffering from a condition, many might not necessarily be able to understand and know how they can help. We spoke to David Brudö, CEO and co-founder at personal development and mental wellbeing app Remente, about the small, every day things you can do to help.

1. Encourage conversation

In a world where emojis are replacing words and expressions of emotion reduced to acronyms and abbreviations, it's arguably more important than ever to take some time out to talk to your child without overwhelming or intimidating them.

"Be casual when you first start the conversation and let them speak, without voicing too many of your own opinions. That way, you will make sure that they tell you how they feel, instead of what they think you'd like to hear."

The conversation doesn't even necessarily have to be about mental health – it's just about making them feel comfortable with talking to you so that, if something does start upsetting or worrying them, they know who to turn to.

"Talking to your child about mental health is a good thing and if they want to discuss it with you, all the better. Remind them that you are the person they can talk to about anything and that you will always hear them out. The more secure they feel about talking to you, about problems big or small, the more likely they are to be open."

2. Be patient

The thought that your child's mental wellbeing might be suffering is undoubtedly hugely worrying for a parent, and this worry can often turn to frustration and feelings of helplessness. However, it is important to hold your own until your child is ready to share.

"In the UK, it is thought that one in six people will be affected by mental health conditions and for most, it can take some time to open up, acknowledge their feelings and be able to articulate them fully. This is the same for a child, who might also feel ashamed or embarrassed. It is important that you don't push them and let them talk to you when they are comfortable, not because they are pressurised to do so. Patience can be especially difficult for parents, as they want to help and might feel frustrated at times, but try to persevere and remain calm."

If you feel that you need someone to talk to, share your thoughts in confidence with a close partner or family member, who can offer support and advice.

3. Be present

This might sound like an odd one, but the requirements of day-to-day living can often see parents missing out on quality time with children.

"It can be difficult at times to be as present as we'd like to be – balancing work and parenthood at the same time as worrying about your child's wellbeing. However, it is essential that you carve out a bit of time each day to just be one-on-one with your child, whether it is simply to talk or do something fun. Switch off your phone, ignore any emails and just focus on quality time together."

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4. Don't overreact

There's no doubt that being a modern teenager is tough, but it's important to identify the difference between adolescent phases and other, more permanent, issues.

"While it is natural for a parent to be worried about their child, it is also vital to remember that children will go through stages as they experience new emotions. They might be adapting to a new change in their life, perhaps it is a new school, a new circle of friends or even a small change in their routine. Often, with the right support from their family, children's behaviours can change and go back to how they were."

Be sure to monitor changes in your child's behaviour over time as, if you do end up having cause for concern, this will help identify any possible patterns in their moods.

5. Look after yourself

Remember that you are the ultimate role model for children, and that includes leading by example when it comes to mental health and general wellbeing. It will also do you some good, too.

"Parenting can be demanding and stressful at times and it is essential that you look after your own mental health, as that can only have a positive impact on your family. Similarly, think about how you show your own emotions of anger and distress in front of your kids, as they are likely to take a lot of behavioural cues from you."

A recent survey showed that just 15% of British youngsters report getting enough sleep, relaxation and exercise. These three things are crucial to a healthy mind set, so be sure to instil the importance of these factors in your children.

6. Seek help

If you have persistent worries about your child, then it is important to do something about it.

"Often, it can be enough to ask your child what they think might help them to feel better and to implement the change. However, they may be unwilling to speak to you about their problems or they don't know themselves what could help. If you are deeply concerned, you should visit your GP – your child can have a one-on-one meeting with them, or you can talk about your concerns and ask for some guidance."

Alternatively (or in addition), Dr Ranj Singh recommends speaking to your child's teacher or school as a helpful way of flagging up any concerns, as they may be able to offer your child support during the week. There are also lots of charities and organisations (like Mind and Young Minds) who offer free information and support to parents and young people that are worried or affected. Some also have helplines that you can contact and speak to someone directly.

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