Kim Jong Il Allows Son to Shoot Missile as Birthday Gift

On Wednesday, Kim Jong Il celebrated his 69th (or 70th, depending on whom you ask) birthday drinking American beer, opening gifts, and eating lots of cake. But the special gift that day was not for himself but for his third son, Kim Jong Un, who is expected to succeed him as leader of North Korea.

It is reported that Kim Jong Il allowed Kim Jong Un to fire another long-range missile on his behalf to celebrate the day in style. Kim Jong Il issued a formal statement stating that because the missile was being shot on such a momentous occasion, he didn't see any harm and didn't expect any negative backlash from the free world unlike that received after an earlier launch a few years ago. "Then, it wasn't a birthday celebration," said Il. "Now it is my birthday and on birthdays, you usually get to do just whatever you want to do."

Reports that Kim Jong Il and his son had been drinking beer all day were substantiated and reporters believe that is what triggered the missile launch, not the fact that Kim Jong Il was ready to pass the power of North Korea to his son just yet.

"I am still leader," claims Kim Jong Il. "But I think now my son, Kim Jong Un has a good idea of how fun power can be and because of that, he will make as great a leader as I am."

With that, Il cut himself another slice of cake and downed another Old Milwaukee and exclaimed, "It doesn't get any better than this."

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