Giving Sports a Roundhouse Kick to the Nuts

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Report: All NBA teams would have lost that game last year

Since almost every player and certainly every team's coach has already said at least once in this young NBA season that "This is a game we would have lost last year," we decided keep a running list on these kind of quotes. We're amazed at how much every single team in the NBA seems to have improved so drastically from last season.

"These are the type of games last year we probably would have lost by 20, so losing by 5 lets us all rest easier." -- Sixers coach and surprised-he's-not-fired-yet Mo Cheeks

"Last year this team wouldn't have even made a contest of this, let alone win the game. Heck, we probably wouldn't have even " -- Unidentified Bobcat

"Last year I wouldn't have made that shot. Actually, last year I probably would've dunked on the wrong rim. But we're growing. We understand the game more this year." -- Andris Biedrins, Golden St. Warriors

"Last year I would have been dribbling with my feet and using my arms as continuous wind mills to punch and slap at people, there's no way we would have won this game back then." -- Chris Kaman, L.A. Clippers

"Oh yeah, I think I could have won this game last year. Wait - by 'this game' I'm obviously talking about Motocross Mayhem on my PSP I play on the bench. If we're talking about an actual NBA game, then no fuckin' way." -- Brian Cardinal, Memphis Grizzlies

"We picked up some players and got bigger in the off season. That helped. Last year, our guys wouldn't even have been big in the World Basketball League, so we never would have won." -- Anonymous

"Last year our PG would have been banging a cheerleader from Spokane, Washington named Mindy.. or Cindy. There's NO way he would have had the legs to steal that inbound pass." -- A bitter Sonic

"Hell yeah, that was a game we would've lost bad last year. Gotten crushed, embarrassed... no doubt about it." -- Eddy Curry

"Last year Johnson was only able to run backwards. For whatever reason, he couldn't face forward and run. That's a problem. We would have gotten creamed last year." -- Anonymous coach in the East

"Last year our center was doing the motorboat to groupies in the front row, no way in hell we would have been competitive in this game last year." -- Several different coaches said this

"I am not necessarily sure we would have lost that game last year, but I am positive that since we won it this year, I will get free lap dances at Cheetah's tonight." -- A player who claims he played for the Hawks for two seasons in a row

Comments

Report: All NBA teams would have lost that game last year

Since almost every player and certainly every team's coach has already said at least once in this young NBA season that "This is a game we would have lost last year," we decided keep a running list on these kind of quotes. We're amazed at how much every single team in the NBA seems to have improved so drastically from last season.

"These are the type of games last year we probably would have lost by 20, so losing by 5 lets us all rest easier." -- Sixers coach and surprised-he's-not-fired-yet Mo Cheeks

"Last year this team wouldn't have even made a contest of this, let alone win the game. Heck, we probably wouldn't have even " -- Unidentified Bobcat

"Last year I wouldn't have made that shot. Actually, last year I probably would've dunked on the wrong rim. But we're growing. We understand the game more this year." -- Andris Biedrins, Golden St. Warriors

"Last year I would have been dribbling with my feet and using my arms as continuous wind mills to punch and slap at people, there's no way we would have won this game back then." -- Chris Kaman, L.A. Clippers

"Oh yeah, I think I could have won this game last year. Wait - by 'this game' I'm obviously talking about Motocross Mayhem on my PSP I play on the bench. If we're talking about an actual NBA game, then no fuckin' way." -- Brian Cardinal, Memphis Grizzlies

Dick Towel? Dick Towel!

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