7 Funny Foodie Twitter Accounts

@tweetsonpizzaTweets on pizza. Funny ones. That’s all it is. Example: “The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.” It also pulls at the heartstrings of all pizza lovers out there: “Is ordering pizza an emotion cuz I’m feeling it.” And is so inspiring that it may convert the others: “Accept pizza not apologies.”

@coffee_dadWe really hope that @coffee_dad is “just a dad who loves his coffee,” but it’s likely some SNL writer or a fed up Intelligentsia barista. (We have no proof of that, mind you.) Whoever it is, B.J. Novak and Susan Orlean are fans. And so are we.

@daily_kaleThis is a very passionate (often violently so!) account. “If you love someone, let them go. Into the ocean, with a concrete block tied to their feet. They are a threat to your delicious kale.” This person loves kale. Or hates it and its trendiness so much that he or she decided to throw significant energy at creating a Twitter account that has since gained 20.4K followers.

@shitfoodblogger Full of irreverence and profanity, the human behind this handle tweets mostly, but not exclusively, about food, often highlighting the ridiculousness of our self-important, indulgent foodie culture. Example: “Please enjoy my ‘butter on toast’ served on a velour kitten bed spread.” It started as a mockery of food bloggers—“I can smell my soul when I cook,” reads the bio—and now interacts, in a friendly (but still profanity-packed) manner, with many of them.

@tofu_productThis account has nothing to do with tofu except for the similarity in the way the two function: “Tofu absorbs flavor,” as the handle’s bio reads, and, if you follow this account, it absorbs your tweets. Then it tweets a nonsensical mashup of words you’ve tweeted.

@simplebagel “A simple bagel with a simple dream,” reads this account’s bio. And it’s accurate: every tweet is, simply, about bagels. “A bagel is not a very good lawyer.” “Makeup tip: the key to full eyebrows is feeding them a bagel. They’re probably starving. It’s been hours since their last meal.” “You can’t claim bagels on your income tax return I checked.” As for what the simple dream is, we’re not sure. That everyone stops hating on carbs? Bagel world domination?