Yisro

As most (healthy) fathers know, sometimes (like most of the time) one has a need to seriously beat their children for being . . . well . . . children. Especially boys and teenage girls.

I had that feeling this morning after coming home from davening since there was “something in the air.” Of course, you can’t exactly hit your children (because that leaves marks) and you can’t just yell at them (because that leaves marks), but, as a man, you need to do SOMETHING violent.

So, I found the perfect solution: Yell at them all with a Scottish accent!

Not only can you insult them at whim, like calling them a “useless sack of meat," but you can give them practical advice on what to take to school for lunch, like “catching a cat, and ripping out its guts, and dip it in ketchup!” And, if you don’t have anything of intelligence to say, you can tell them that “I don’t want to see you wee-woping, no good yellow-belly, stomp-catcher again!” They have no idea what you said, you have no idea what you said, they laugh, and you feel better getting it all out of your system.

Just make sure to turn off the switch when they leave the house, so you don’t end up calling your wife a “useless sack of meat.”

It’s very important to remember that part.

Very.

Trust me.

The Gemara (Shabbos 88a) explains that Hashem held Mt. Sinai over the heads of Jewish people and warned them that if they did not accept the Torah, then this would be their grave. On the other hand, the nation previously stated, “We will do and we will hear” (Shemos 24:7). If they already accepted the Torah, what was the need for Hashem to threaten them?

The Midrash asks and answers this question. When they said, “We will do and we will hear,” that was in regard to the Written Torah. However, in regard to the Oral Torah, they needed a little . . . persuasion.

Why was there such hesitancy to accept the Oral Torah? Because, unlike the Written Torah, a person must toil and suffer to understand it well. The Written Torah is there. You can sit down and read it, but to truly excel in the Oral Torah, one needs to be focused and demanding on himself.

A young man in yeshiva once complained to Rav Shach about his inability to do well in the yeshivah. Rav Shach answered the following:

“Suppose that a man sees that a handsome profit is to be had in another country. Once he resolves to go, nothing can dissuade him. It does not matter to him whether the way is easy or difficult, whether he travels first class or third or whether the accommodations along the way are comfortable or not. All that matters is that he should arrive at his destination, so that he can conduct his business.

“By contrast, if he is going on a vacation, the conditions are very important to him indeed. If he hears, for example, that the ride is unpleasant and that he must walk part of the way, or that the accommodations are inferior and the provisions scant, he will undoubtedly cancel the trip.

“Similarly, a person in yeshivah whose goal is to grow in Torah pays no mind to the conditions around him. His gaze is focused entirely on his goal. By contrast, one who comes to yeshivah looking for a vacation notices every detail – Does he have a set with a view? Is it on the sunny side? And so on. For such a person, every difficulty spoils his mood and causes him to have thoughts of leaving.”

I once heard a talk given by a Navy SEAL, regarding the training that he went through in order to be accepted as a trainee. It’s not easy to say the least. They are given very little sleep, a lot of physical and mental challenges, and throughout the whole time, they are given incentives (read: distractions) to drop out. His description and stories of what they went through to become SEALs was mind-boggling. But, he said, what kept them going was the goal. They WANTED to be SEALs and no matter what, they were GOING to be SEALs.

One’s spiritual ambitions should be treated no differently. You have a goal? Focus on it, don’t get distracted, and GET IT.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

Michael Winner

p.s. Next week, there will be no dvar Torah. It’s going to be a very busy week, and on Thursday/Friday, I will be in Yerushaliyim making matzos (Thursday night baking . . . they couldn’t have planned it any worse for a guy living in the North).

I’ve been learning Megiallas Esther, for obvious reasons, and I came to an interesting Rashi that I never gave thought to. When presenting his case against the Jewish people, Haman said that they had two big negatives going against them: 1) They don’t pay taxes, and 2) They don’t do ‘the King’s work.

What are the complaints that the left has against the religious here in Israel? They don’t pay taxes and they don’t go into the army.

An interesting thought . . .

Rashi informs us that Moshe would go up to the mountain at dawn, as it states:

“And Moshe arose early in the morning” (Shemos 34:4)

When Rav Shach was a Rosh Yeshivah in Petach Tikvah, he would stay by one of the local residents throughout the week and return to his home in Jerusalem for Shabbos. When he heard that his host would wake up a 4 a.m. to go to work, he asked to be woken at the same time.

The host was astounded and replied, “But the yeshivah schedule does not require that the Rosh Yeshivah arise so early, and in any event you go to bed so late!”

To which Rav Shach replied that it is inconceivable that a working man should arise earlier than a Torah scholar. If a working man wakes up at 4 a.m. to do his work, certainly a scholar should wake up at 4 a.m. to do HIS work.

It is common knowledge that how you start your day helps form how the day will continue. A person who slips out of bed late and slowly gets his way to the shul and somehow catches part of a minyan for davening, will most likely not have a very productive spiritual (or physical) day.

Rav Yaakov Leonard once said to his yeshivah, right before everybody left for Pesach break, that they should go and relax and "recuperate." However, he asked that everybody continue to go to an early minyan, even if he would come straight home and take a nap. At least, he said, a person should start off the day on the right foot.

We should also try our best, whether we are working or learning (or both) full-time, to get to an earlier minyan, rather than a later one, and to start off our day properly.

A friend of mine had a baby boy this week (the first boy after four girls . . . good . . .can’t wait to see him suffer now), and unfortunately the baby was born with a defect. They are not sure what the situation is in terms of long-term affects mentally or physically, so if we can all daven for Tinok ben Yael that this defect should end up posing no issues at all.“And Moshe went up to G-d” (Shemos 34:4)

“And Moshe arose early in the morning” (Rashi)

My friend's (mentioned above) father-in-law came for Shabbos to help out with the family. I happen to know him, since not only am I friends with his son-in-law, but I also shared a room in yeshiva with his son. By trade, he’s a dentist. I happen to know that on the side, he earned smicha (rabbinic ordination), which probably nobody knows about. If you saw him, you wouldn’t think much, he’s rather unassuming.

As I was walking out of davening this morning, I complained to him about the chutzpah that his children had: having a boy. Because of that I will have to leave my house Shabbos night, when I’m already exhausted just to go to the Shalom Zachor (let’s just describe it as a mini-“Kiddush” held Shabbos night after a boy is born). Usually I don’t go to them, since I’m too physically exhausted. He agreed with me and said how at home, he and his wife always eat alone and never go out Shabbos night. He described his night as, “I fall asleep in my chair at 7:30 p.m., wake up, go to bed, wake about around 3 a.m., make coffee and sit and learn in peace and quiet until davening.”

He’s a dentist by the way. Did I mention that? But that’s not his main calling in life. His goal is to be a proper “servant of Hashem.” He does that by waking up every morning nice and early to start his day properly, even earlier on Shabbos, when most people do the opposite!

Avraham rose early in the morning, Moshe rose early in the morning, and the Dentist rose early in the morning . . .

Over the past week or so, my nine-year-old daughter has been spending a large amount of time on the phone. Yes, I know . . . girls at this age do these things. But suddenly there was a dramatic increase in faxes that she was receiving on our machine (fax = Israeli Chareidi Email). It turns out that my daughter recently became one of three teachers in her class, and is “very busy” communicating with the principal and the other teachers . . .

Yeah . . .

It seems that the whole class of 24 girls, during their two break periods, play “school.” There is one principal, one secretary, three teachers, and the rest are students (I think). The principal made an official schedule, and every break, the “teachers” “teach.” Next week, they have parent-teacher conferences. Where each student has to take home a note announcing it, and they in turn will sign it as “parents,” and will have to meet with their teacher as their own “parents.”

It gets confusing, I know. However, my wife reminded me that, thank G-d, unlike their non-religious counterparts here who are staring at iPhones all day, they are doing something wholesome.“Yisro, the priest of Midian, the father-in-law of Moshe, heard all that G-d did to Moshe and to Israel . . .” (Shemos 18:1)

Rashi comments that he heard about the splitting of the Red Sea and the war with Amalek. And because of this, he came to the Jewish people to join them.

An interesting question is raised. A few lines later, the Torah reports, “Moshe told his father-in law everything that Hashem had done to Pharaoh and Egypt for Israelis sake . . . Yisro rejoiced over all the goodness that Hashem had done for Israel . . .”

We see from the first pasuk, that Yisro already knew about all that Hashem did. It impressed him so much, that he left his home to join the Jewish people in the desert. What was the new thing that Moshe told him that impressed him that he should rejoice, seemingly, for a second time?

Rav Asher Rubenstein said over once in one of his weekly talks that Yisro did NOT hear anything new from Moshe. In fact, he heard the exact same thing he heard beforehand. However, Yisro did something that most of us find difficult to do: “Yisro HEARD.”

The parsha in which the Torah is given starts with Yisro’s HEARING. Before any acceptance of Torah, once must be willing to HEAR Hashem’s word.

The Torah is not some intellectual study. It is something that one is to take and bring into his heart. One of the greatest proofs of this is the final test Avraham had regarding bringing Yitzchok as a sacrifice. He was promised by Hashem Himself that his children will grow to be great and numerous, and now Hashem is telling him to sacrifice his only son (with Sarah). He could have easily, and respectively, asked, “Wait… didn’t You tell me that I will have descendants through Yitzchok?” He had a very good question he could have asked, however, he pushed that down and listened to Hashem.

Hashem has given us intellect to use. However, that intellect is to be used to serve G-d, and not ourselves.

We are servants to Hashem. A servant doesn’t use his intellect to decide whether or not to serve his master. Rather, he uses it to decide how best to serve his master. So, too, must we negate our intellect when it comes to “Is the Torah applicable to me?” and use it as “How can I best serve Hashem?”

First we must HEAR and LISTEN to Hashem, even if it goes against our intellect. We then can look into things and see how our intellect can understand what Hashem wants from us. But for us to first use our intellect to decide if we should or should not listen? That’s not what Yisro did.

The key to successful mussar (self-improvement) is not the “newness” of what you are learning. It is taking what you hear, over and over again, and placing it in one’s heart. Rav Asher found that there are some people who, when the rav speaks about self-improvement issues, quietly open up their books and continue learning what they were learning. Why? Because, what the rav is saying isn’t “intellectual enough” or “doesn’t apply to me.”

Again, this is not what the Torah wants from us.

The key to successful growth is first to HEAR. When one takes what he hears and pushes it into his heart, without petty excuses for why this or that might not apply to him, then he will continue to grow. If not, the Torah will remain a mere intellectual study and won’t leave a mark on his soul.

My client sent me an article this week which I found to be an eye-opener.

The author started out asking what you would do if you received an email from the CEO of Facebook saying that he wanted to meet with you to talk about your business. He said that most of us would write several drafts, going over every word, making sure it came out professional. It’s not what somebody who DID receive an email from the CEO of Facebook did. Instead, he replied with something like, "Sounds great. Call me next time you’re in town!" Immediately, it put this person on top and not on the bottom.

I found this to be a very useful idea and tool in life. When dealing with other people who might affect you mentally or emotionally, it might be best to adapt a “Mah Achpat Li?” (Hebrew: What do I care?) stance.

Recently, my wife received an email from somebody from one of her jobs. This particular office is full of people who have don’t have the greatest business etiquette. So, when somebody emailed her something trying to manipulate my wife into doing something she didn’t want to do under threat of them finding somebody else for the job, my wife simply responded: “Gr8!” and left it at that. It made her feel better about herself and she did not allow them to take control of her.

During World War II, the 101st Airborne Division was surrounded at Bastogne during the Battle of the Bulge. They were nearly out of ammunition and food. They had no winter gear during one of the coldest winters experienced, and they could not even evacuate the wounded. The German commander sent over a message to General McAuliffe asking for their surrender instead of certain annihilation.

General McAuliffe replied:

To the German Commander.

NUTS!

The American Commander

The 101st held their ground and were a key in holding the German offensive… and were eventually rescued.

So, whether it be “Mah Achpat Li?,” “What do I care?,” or just plain “NUTS!” the more we emotionally remove other people from being on top of us, the more peace of mind we will have.

Okay, on to Torah!The last of the Ten Commandments is “Do not be jealous” (Shemos 20:14).

The Ibn Ezra gives a suggestion on how to overcome this thought which is so difficult to bypass. He gives a comparison to a peasant who sees a beautiful princess. While he would certainly want to marry this princess, he doesn’t give any serious thought to it, since it’s completely out of his realm.

The Ibn Ezra continues and explains that this should be our mentality with everybody else’s possessions, talents, or their overall life. We need to constantly remind ourselves that Hashem gives out all of these things to individuals based on the needs of that particular individual. While wealth might be good in one person’s hand, it might not necessarily be good in yours. Hashem knows which is best for everybody, and as long as we realize that we have everything we need right now, we won’t have any feelings of jealousy for others.

The Midrash HaNe’elam states that “Do not be jealous” is the last mitzvah of the Ten Commandments, and because it’s the last mitzvah of the Torah in THIS world, it’s the first in importance in the next.

The Gemara (Shabbos 31a) states that the first question we will be asked after 120 years of life in this world is whether we dealt honestly in our business. Somebody who is overcome by jealously in this world, can easily fall prey to stealing, and losing out in the next.

May we all continue to have strength to see Hashem’s hand in our lives and to overcome this test.

“It seems that yesterday Syria tried to sneak some huge weapons cache into Lebanon without paying customs, and somehow, it magically blew up. Israel, of course, is officially not acknowledging or denying any involvement, and the United States is officially backing Israel in their decision (which Israel does not acknowledge or deny)”.

You have to love world politics.

Okay, on to Torah!“You shall be to Me the most beloved treasure” (Bamidbar 19:5)

An army doctor once came to Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein with a question that was disturbing him. He told Rav Zilberstein that the army is planning on using photographs of dead and injured IDF soldiers as part of their media campaign to help bring some sympathy from the international stage. The IDF was hoping that if the world saw dead Israelis, instead of just dead Arabs, perhaps they won’t be so quick to condemn Israel.

While acknowledging the logic behind such a move, the doctor disagreed with the plan. He felt that it would not only lower moral of the army, seeing their comrades in such a situation, but also he felt it would cheapen the value of life in people’s eyes. Therefore, he came to consult with Rav Zilberstein on what he should do.

Rav Zilberstein answered that if, in principle, such a thing would work and would reduce anti-Semitism even one bit, then the photos should be used, since saving lives take priority. However, he concluded, “Anybody who thinks that these photos- no matter how shocking they may be- will have any influence whatsoever on the way the world treats the Jewish people is sorely mistaken”.

Time and time again, we see these words to be truthful. No matter what the situation is, how ludicrous it is, Israel, and the Jewish people in general will be blamed. Groups and individuals can do whatever they want to launch media campaigns in order to help Israel. But in the end, since the cause of our troubles are spiritual, such campaigns will not win the day. Just as in Purim, the cause of our troubles stemmed from our distance from Hashem, and our salvation came through teshuvah, so too will the end of this exile come only through teshuvah.

I saw a nice story in Aleinu L’shabei’ach that I thought I would share.

There used to be a famous grocer in Jerusalem by the name of R’Abba Luria. It seems he was renowned for the chesed that he did for anybody and everybody.

R’Abba once had a non-religious customer who used to come all the time and pay on credit. However, after a certain point, he stopped paying what he owed, his debt to R’Abba grew, and then he stopped buying from R’Abba altogether.

Once, R’Abba met this person on the street and without mentioning the debt, asked, “Why did you stop buying at my grocery?”

The man answered that his business was doing so poorly; he was barely able to buy the basics for his family. Due to his large debt he still owed R’Abba, he was too embarrassed to go to his store any more.

“Please continue to buy at my store. “ R’Abba asked. “I will wait for payment until Hashem helps you and you are able to pay me back”.

The man’s face lit up, and he began to cry, “If this is the way a religious person behaves, then I’m going to do teshuvah and follow in his path!”

This story was told by the man himself, when he came to comfort R’Abba’s family members while they were sitting shivah for him.

Nobody knows the repercussions of a simple mitzvah done on the street. A simple smile, a little loan, a car ride here or there, helping somebody carry something down the street. Minor acts of chesed, and certainly major acts of chesed, can literally change a person’s life around.I just got back from my store-mikveh-store-home routine I do every erev Shabbos. At the mikvah, I meet my sfardi friend who introduces me to his non-religious friend who was born in Canada (don’t ask). Knowing I was born there, he figured why not? introduce him? So, I made a new friend at the mikvah. Wonderful person. As I’m about to leave, my sfardi friend says, “I’m not letting you walk back. It’s my mitzvah to take you to the store, and I’m not allowing you to take it away!”

As we get in the car, I notice a certain book he had that caught my attention. “Take it for two weeks to see if you like it!” he says.

We get to the store, and as I’m about to leave, the store owner (another story unto himself) calls me over and pulls out some carrots that I forgot to take with that he was saving for me.

Twenty steps later, I here “Viener!” from behind me. Somebody from the kollel. “Come on in, all give you a ride home”.

So, I got home a little earlier than usual, and I came home in a great mood, which will make my erev Shabbos go smoother. Why? Simply because I was dealing with nice people in just a one hour period.

I had my first experience this Monday as an “in-patient”. Hopefully, my last as well.

I had to have some surgery done (don’t worry, nothing major) which required staying overnight in the hospital and leaving me in pain with a really nice scar. Officially, I’m telling people that there was a terrorist attack against a bus full of women and children. I jumped in the way, killing 50 terrorist with my bare hands and every bullet that hit me, missed my vital organs. That’s the official story anyway.

Because Chaim was home with a high-fever, my wife was unable to come for the surgery or to visit. However, I had good roommates. One of them was a sfardi rav, whose wife was kind enough to keep my valuables in her possession while I was under (lots of thievery happen at that time). Every few sentences were peppered with “HaKadosh Baruch Hu” and “Hashem Yishmar” (Hashem will help). Very holy people. She stayed the entire time he was there (including over-night) and their entire family kept visiting throughout the day. Two of their older sons broke off from the family gathering and came to the three other patients, one at a time, to check up on us, asking us if we need anything, giving us brachos (sfardi brochos are worth a lot in my book), etc… I hope that my family should grow up with such middos.

As I came out of surgery and started to come around, my eye caught somebody hovering over me. Usually, people see an angel which turns out to be a nurse… I, of course, saw a man with a beard and a black hat on. It was my chavrusa who came to see how it went and brought some reading material for me. He was nice enough to come the next morning to help me out of the hospital and into a cab for my trip home.

It’s good to have friends like that.

Though, unofficially of course, I feel sorry for my wife. Dealing with the kids all by herself, since I’m pretty useless, is not an easy job. And I’m only making it more difficult. For example, I just emailed her in the other room (she’s working right now) that I want a cup of chocolate milk. Why? Because I’m mean and obnoxious, that’s why! I had to take care of the kids for several days when she was vacationing in the hospital after Tova’s birth, I think it’s only fair that I get some vacation time myself! Right?

Okay, enough about my health life. On to Torah!Rabbeinu Bachya (Shemos 20:17) notes an interesting phenomenon concerning the aseres hadibros (Ten Commandments). He says that the order of the mitzvos are connected with the mitzvah itself. For example, “do not commit adultery” is the seventh commandment and there are seven women that one is prohibited to have relations with, along with seven prohibited acts. “Do not steal” is the eighth, and there are eight types of theft. “Do not be jealous” is the tenth, and one is obligated to give a tenth of his income to charity By giving to charity, one is reminding himself that everything is given by and belongs to Hashem.

An interesting question could be posed: all the other commandments can easily be done, by simply refraining from doing them. However, not to be jealous of somebody else? That’s more of an emotion and is something far more difficult to control.

The Ibn Ezra explains this mitzvah with a parable of a peasant who sees a princess. Although she is very beautiful, the idea of marrying her would never occur to him, since it’s something that simply cannot happen. So too, if we recognize that Hashem gives everybody exactly what they need in life, we would have no jealousy of other people’s possessions. He has this job, because that’s what he needs. She owns this home, because that’s what she needs. I have this because that’s what I need. If Hashem felt that we needed something in our lives, he would give it to us. We go through life thinking, “Yeah, there is a G-d…” however we really don’t internalize the fact that Hashem is involved with our day-to-day lives quite intimately.

After our 120 years of life, one of the first questions we will be asked is, “Did we deal honestly in our business matters?” (Talmud, Shabbos 31a). A person who truly recognizes that Hashem takes care of him, will be able to honestly say ‘yes’, because true emunah in Hashem will keep him from being crooked. So too for every person: true emunah in Hashem will keep us from being jealous of other people.

Have a great Shabbos!

p.s. My wife responded with “hold your horses”… I don’t think she understands that my need for vengeance must be satisfied. Oh well.

At times like this, you get a peek into what Eretz Yisroel will look like when Moshiach comes.

Thankfully, over the past few days, we’ve received some much needed rain. Now, our community is the most eastern one in Jerusalem. We’re on the edge of the desert, overlooking the Jericho Plain. We see the mountains of Jordan very easily and on clear nights we can see it all lit up.

Being on the desert, we mainly see light-brown sand. But after rains like this, the hills become a nice shade of green. Even the desert flourishes!"And the father in law of Moshe saw all that Moshe did to the people and he said, 'What is this thing that you are doing to the people? Why are you sitting by yourself and the entire people standing nearby from the morning to the evening?" (Shemos 18:14)

Rashi states that Moshe would sit like a king and the people would stand around him. This is something that bothered Yisro, and therefore Yisro censured Moshe for it and gave an idea on how to correct the situation.

Rav Yeruchem Levovitz commented that the greatness of Yisro was his ability to criticize for the good. After coming from his home in Midian to join the Jewish nation, he immediately recognized the situation that Moshe was put in and told him how to correct it.

Yisro spent most of his life trying out different religions, seeking out the one, true, G-d. With his critical eye, he was able to ascertain that they were all false and come to realize that Hashem was that one, true, G-d.

From here we see that having a critical eye can be a good thing. However, says Rav Levovitz, one must be VERY careful in using it. "There is only a thin line that makes all the difference in whether criticism is very positive or very negative. Before using your critical faculties on others, make certain to be self-critical. Only if you constantly criticize yourself can you be certain that your criticizing others come from truth seeking. Fortunate is the person who has the positive type of criticalness."

Rav Pliskin said over a story from the Chazon Ish, where the Chazon Ish said to somebody who was critical of others, "According to my personality I would never become involved in matters concerning other people. It is much easier for me to sit in my own corner. But I do not give in to my yetzer horah. I go against my nature and become involved when I think it is appropriate. On the other hand, your yetzer horah is that on every possible occasion you love to say what is in your heart. But you should do the opposite. Guard yourself not to look for faults" (P'air Hador, Vol IV, p. 160)

A friend of mine had a boy last week and made this bris this past Sunday. He decided that he wanted Rav Eliashuv to be the sandek, so he made a few calls and was able to arrange it.

For those "not in the know", Rav Eliashuv is the top rabbinic authority in Lithuanian Jewry. While most of the few great Rosh Yeshivas and Rabbeim would be compared to four star generals, Rav Eliashuv is one of the few who holds an honourary fifth star.

So, the bris will be followed my mincha at 1 pm at Rav Eliashuv's Beis Medresh.

Okay, no problem. I walked over and through Meah Shaarim and found the beis medresh. It turns out that before Mincha there were going to be three brises, and after mincha, at least one.

For the first birs, the father was a young Russian (it sounded like). He wore a knitted kippa, along with his 9mm totting friends who came to participate. I happened to see a police commander and lieutenant both in an attendance, and both not used to wearing kippas on their heads. There was another father who was sphardi, surrounded by his friends trying to get photos of Rav Eliashuv with their cell phones. Finally, there was my friend... well... he was just in his hat and jacket... no 9mm, so he was pretty boring, if you ask me.

It was interesting to see the different backgrounds all converging to this one rav who even secular politicians go to seek advice and brachos.

When mincha came, I was able to position myself within fifteen feet of Rav Eliashuv. I admit that during the Chazzan’s repetition of the Shemoneh Esreh, I was busy paying attention to the rav then I was to davening. But ... I couldn't help it. It's not every day I get this opportunity.

Okay, on to Torah!"Anyone who touches the mountain will surely die" (Shemos 19:12)

The Chofetz Chaim learned from this the lesson of treating Torah scholars with the respect that they are due. If a mountain, which has no feelings or even knowledge of its existence, is sanctified when the Torah is given on it; certainly a scholar who has mastered Torah is sanctified.

The Chofetz Chaim said that someone who slights the honour of a Torah scholar is committing a worse offense than anyone who would have touched the mountain.

This warning is given to people who disagree with such scholars. Just because you, in your enlightened wisdom (insert sarcasm here) disagree with a Gadol in Torah, it doesn't mean you have a right to say or do anything that would slight him in the least, even if he is somebody you don't go to for your personal questions.

I once had the 'honour' a few years ago of reading a piece written by some ... individual, who 'disagreed' with something Rav Eliashuv ruled on. Now, here's an individual who is ... well, is not Rav Eliashuv. Now, based off of this person's expertise in Torah (he learns an hour or two a day), he concluded that Rav Eliashuv is obviously quite old and not completely with it, because he couldn’t understand how Rav Eliashuv arrived at such a conclusion.

It's one thing when a rav who is close to a Talmid Chacham says that this particular scholar is not doing well mentally due to age. It is another thing altogether when some Joe in America makes such a statement.

On the other hand, you have Rav Yechezkel Abramsky who related that it was the custom of the Jews in Slutsk, when they came to visit the Rav's house to ask a question, to first put on their Shabbos garments before visiting. THEY had respect for Torah.

I was at the bus stop the other day discussing an issue which was somewhat controversial. On both sides of this 'controversy', were two big people. I mentioned to this person, that sometimes it's hard, but important, to mind how you voice your opinion on such subjects, since both sides had legitimate ideas. He answered, "Well, there's a general rule in life: when King Kong and Godzilla start fighting, it's best to get out of the way". The message was clear. If you can't stay respectful of Torah scholars, keep your opinion to yourself.

We should all merit to not only be able to constantly SEE Gedolei Torah, but to give them the proper honour that is due.

Without going into the long story on why, I ended up lending my Far Side book to one of my rabbeim. The next day he told me that him and his wife sat down to read it after putting the kids to bed, just so they can have some downtime together.

He told me how he really enjoyed a lot of the book. "However," he said, "there were a couple of things I simply didn't understand".

It should be noted that while he grew up a little in the States, he has spent most of his life here in Israel, where he has made himself a big Ben Torah.

"There was one reference to... the Wizard of Oz? ... and another to...Frank...Frankenstein? ... Are they together? I didn't get it and my wife had to explain it a little to me"

I asked him for a bracha that my children should grow up as holy as him.

Okay, on to Torah!"You will surely ware yourself out, also you and also this people who are with you, this is too difficult for you, you cannot do it by yourself" (Shemos 18:18)

Before Yisro came to Moshe, the 'command structure' was this: Moshe was in charge, everybody came to him. Quite simple.

Of course, this set up was not put in place because of Moshe's ego. Rather, he believed that he can best serve the nation by being there for them on an individual basis.

Yisro, however, noticed something that Moshe did not. If he continued on this pace, Moshe will simply wear himself down. Instead, suggested Yisro, Moshe should create a system where the people could go to a lower court first. If the lower court did not know the answer, they would go to a higher one. In turn, they would go to an even higher one if they did not know. Therefore, Moshe would not be burdened by personally handling the problems and questions of 2 million people.

Many people will put themselves in a mode where they might take on too much in terms of doing chesed or other communal needs. Perhaps they are very efficient at this. However, if they continuously push themselves, they risk doing serious damage to themselves physically, mentally and spiritually. Not to mention any side affects that it might cause to their relationships with family and friends.

Working on behalf of the community or others, is a worthwhile deed. However, everybody involved with such activities need to seriously take in account those family members and friends who warn him that he is pushing himself too much.

I read a story brought by Rav Zelig Pliskin that highlights this concept.

A communal leader who constantly consulted the Chazon Ish once asked him for advice about a difficult matter. The Chazon Ish said to him, "You have no need at the present for any practical advice on this subject"

"Yes, right now it's not a practical issue," the man said. "But theoretically if it were a practical question, how would you advise me to react?"

The elderly Chazon Ish replied, "People make a mistake about me. They think that I just pull out my opinions and advice from my shirtsleeves. It is not so! Every time I need to make a decision for someone, it steals a piece of my health. When a matter is necessary for practical reasons, I make the effort. But whenever it is not really necessary, I have an obligation to fulfill the commandment to guard one's health".

What was so amazing that Yisro, Moshe's father-in-law, did to merit having a parsha in the Torah named after him? Especially the parsha in which the Torah was given at Sinai!

"And Yisro heard... all that Hashem wrought for Moshe and Yisroel" (Shemos 18:1)

Rashi explains that after the splitting of the Red Sea and the war with Amalek, Yisro immediately left his home and went to join the Jewish nation in the desert.

Rav Sholom Shwadron said over a parable to explain the lesson:

A man decides to take a "walk" on a busy highway. All around him cars are sounding their horns with intensity; drivers are screaming at him, but to no avail. He continues nonchalantly along, completely unperturbed by the irate sounds around him. The sounds now become stronger in an attempt to jolt this foolish man to his senses.

In disgust, one driver stops his vehicle, goes over to the man and asks him, "Don't you hear everyone honking their horns for you to get off the highway?"

"I heard", responds the jaywalker.

"Is this considered hearing?” replied the driver. "If you heard, you would immediately leave the highway. You aren't listening; you are ignoring everything around you!"

Not only did Yisro hear what happened to the Jewish people, he went and took immediate action. He took the lesson to heart and went to make an immediate change in his life.

Words of Torah for example, are useless if one does not use them to make changes in their life. When we hear words of Torah, words of reproof, or experience other lessons in life, and we do not make an effort to internalize them, they are simply another word or another experience. However, when we learn lessons from dvrei torah or experiences that Hashem deals us, not only do they become uplifted, but so do we.

About the Author

Michael Winner

Avreich - Web Developer - Father - Tired

Michael Winner is a full-time member of a kollel in northern Israel, works at night as a web-developer, is a father of five, and can often be found on the floor where he must have passed out.