Laugh Track....Raising Hell

Boxing HOFer MikeTyson appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” last night to promote his new autobiography, “Undisputed Truth.” Jimmy Kimmel asked, “Do the kids know you owned tigers at one time?” Tyson responded, “Well, my older kids were there.” Kimmel: “Do you think you’d ever have something like that again?” Tyson said, “One day when I ever, ever make any money anymore, I have to have my own little private compound where they're not around my kids, and my wife wouldn’t let that happen.” Kimmel said, “Well yeah, because a tiger around the kids would probably be a bad idea.” Tyson: “Not good, no, not good; plus when they fart, it smells like hell. So we don’t want that around the house.” Kimmel asked, “The kids or the tiger?” Tyson responded, “Both.” Kimmel said, “This is another great fact from the book. Your probation officer -- this guy stopped by your house during an orgy. Now is that a positive or negative as far as probation guys are concerned?” Tyson responded, “I don't think that was good, because some cocaine was on the property, too” (“Jimmy Kimmel Live,” ABC, 11/26).

NBC’s Jay Leno: “The UN announced today that by the year 2100, the earth will have 11 billion people. Imagine that? 11 billion people; and still, the Cleveland Browns can't find one to play quarterback. Why is that?” (“The Tonight Show,” NBC, 11/26).