Category: Narcissistic Supply

The presenter of this video discusses his personal experience with Narcissist Emotional Manipulation and Abuse! To hear someone else discuss their experience with a Narcissist can be cathartic, in that you can see and hear that what happened to you was never your fault.

Somatic Narcissists come across as being Laid back. Somatic Narcs it seems lack education, focus, goals and drive and as such achieve little. They are generally low level employees.

Cerebral Narcissist, on the other hand, do climb high up the Corporate Ladder. They can also cause major problems for the firm. Their focus is on themselves and getting praise from those whom they have classified as “high quality” Narcissistic Supply. They generally have no clue how to motivate a Team and as such can lose really good employees who will quit.

I have crossed paths with Cerebral Narcs who were totally focused on themselves. Every conversation and every meeting included them praising themselves. People further up the ladder had a disdain for them and their further advancement up the Corporate Ladder was blocked. The only ones who could not see this were a couple of Flying Monkeys who would watch the Cerebral Narcs every move and follow and praise him.

Narcissists “need you” to praise and worship their every move. They can suffer Major Narcissistic Injury (potentially suicidal), if their “High Value” source of Narcissistic Supply goes No Contact.

So on one hand Narcissists think that they are Perfect. On the other they “need” others to confirm their “illusion” of perfection. Winners live in the real world. In my opinion, the Abandonment Trauma which created the Narcissist when they were just a Baby, did not create a Winner…

Quote: “Will the Narcissist ever forget me? Yes, if you are not a highly valued source of Narcissistic Supply! Their memory of you will face soon after the Love Bombing stops. Mind you, this will occur long before the Narcissist decides to walk out the door and out of your life. While they Love Bomb their new and better Source of Narcissistic Supply, they will keep you around as a backup.“

Many scholars consider pathological narcissism to be a form of depressive illness. This is the position of the authoritative magazine “Psychology Today“. The life of the typical narcissist is, indeed, punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria (ubiquitous sadness and hopelessness), anhedonia (loss of the ability to feel pleasure), and clinical forms of depression(cyclothymic, dysthymic, or other). This picture is further obfuscated by the frequent presence of mood disorders, such as Bipolar I (co-morbidity).

While the distinction between reactive (exogenous) and endogenous depression is obsolete, it is still useful in the context of narcissism. Narcissists react with depression not only to life crises but to fluctuations in Narcissistic Supply.

The narcissist’s personality is disorganized and precariously balanced. He regulates his sense of self-worth by consuming Narcissistic Supply from others. Any threat to the uninterrupted flow of said supply compromises his psychological integrity and his ability to function. It is perceived by the narcissist as life threatening.

Indeed, depression can be conceptualized as a reaction to the systemic failure of hitherto trustworthy and efficacious coping strategies, either owing to a seismic change in circumstances and the environment, or because of overwhelming new information.

I. Loss Induced Dysphoria

This is the narcissist’s depressive reaction to the loss of one or more Sources of Narcissistic Supply – or to the disintegration of a Pathological Narcissistic Space (PN Space, his stalking or hunting grounds, the social unit whose members lavish him with attention).

II. Deficiency Induced Dysphoria

Deep and acute depression which follows the aforementioned losses of Supply Sources or a PN Space. Having mourned these losses, the narcissist now grieves their inevitable outcome – the absence or deficiency of Narcissistic Supply. Paradoxically, this dysphoria energises the narcissist and moves him to find new Sources of Supply to replenish his dilapidated stock (thus initiating a Narcissistic Cycle).

III. Self-Worth Dysregulation Dysphoria

The narcissist reacts with depression to criticism or disagreement, especially from a trusted and long-term Source of Narcissistic Supply. He fears the imminent loss of the source and the damage to his own, fragile, mental balance. The narcissist also resents his vulnerability and his extreme dependence on feedback from others. This type of depressive reaction is, therefore, a mutation of self-directed aggression.

IV. Grandiosity Gap Dysphoria

The narcissist’s firmly, though counter-factually, perceives himself as omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, brilliant, accomplished, irresistible, immune, and invincible. Any data to the contrary is usually filtered, altered, or discarded altogether. Still, sometimes reality intrudes and creates a Grandiosity Gap. The narcissist is forced to face his mortality, limitations, ignorance, and relative inferiority. He sulks and sinks into an incapacitating but short-lived dysphoria.

V. Self-Punishing Dysphoria

Deep inside, the narcissist hates himself and doubts his own worth. He deplores his desperate addiction to Narcissistic Supply. He judges his actions and intentions harshly and sadistically. He may be unaware of these dynamics – but they are at the heart of the narcissistic disorder and the reason the narcissist had to resort to narcissism as a defence mechanism in the first place.

Laura has been through the emotional roller coaster of a relationship with a Narcissist. Her video offers many helpful insights.

She speaks about “now being able to spot” the Red Flags displayed by Narcissists and “understanding their Game“. IMHO that is extremely important. When one starts seeing multiple Red Flags on a consistent basis, then one has a much better idea of who (or what) they are interacting with. Knowledge gives one the power to make informed decisions, including whether to get into a relationship with a potential Cluster-B Disordered individual such as a Narcissist.

It was interesting to note that her Mother was Narcissistic. There does seem to be a connection between women who attract Narcissists and the fact that they were brought up by a Narcissistic Mother.

A Narcissist looks deeply into your eyes and softly says that when they look at you they see their “Soul Mate“. Your heart rate increases. Your face starts to flush. Your Fight or Flight response shuts down. You become enamored. Your judgements becomes clouded. You believe the Narcissist and feel oh so wonderful having found “Your Soul Mate“.

A variant of the above is having the Narcissist take you aside (they would not want other potential Targets to hear) to inform you that they feel that the both of you are “Kindred Spirits“.

Not so fast.Heck you hardly know each other. It could be a Red Flag called Love Bombing, which is a tactic commonly used by Cluster-B Disordered individuals such as Narcissists.

Generally you get such “Bullshit” lines when the Narcissist wants something, which they believe that they can con you into “giving to them”.

It could be something physical, like maybe providing a roof over their head when they move into your “Home”. Narcissists are rather good at planning ahead, “for themselves”.

It could be that you are wealthy and the Narcissist feels that it would only be proper if a “Soul Mate” shared their wealth with another “Soul Mate”.

It could be that you are rather Handsome or Beautiful. The Narcissist would feel so proud parading you around on their arm. The Trophy Wife syndrome.

Maybe you are extremely popular and or famous. In such a case the Narcissist will happily tag along to all those special events that you get invited to. That helps to keep their fragile Ego well inflated.

It could be that they are having a bad month. Their last source of Narcissistic Supply finally got fed up and went No Contact. The Narcissist needs Narcissistic Supply, not unlike a Drug Addict needing their fix.

You may not be rich or beautiful or famous. You’re just a normal average human being, who has an internal desire to be find someone to love and to be loved back. As such, to the narcissist you are nothing special.

A Cerebral Narcissist, for example, would not give you a second thought because to them you just are not good enough and so unworthy of becoming their Source of Narcissistic Supply. Unless they are down on their Source of Narcissistic Supply. In such a case they will gladly “use” anyone. Heck when they find a way better Source of Supply, they can unceremoniously dump you. For now they open their bag of tricks and start with the Love Bombing.

Are you still glad the Narcissist told you that they see you as their “Soul Mate” or that you both are “Kindred Spirits“?

Google’s Search Engine is your friend. Do some searches for “Support for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse” and variations of that. You will find many Yahoo Groups, websites and Facebook Groups filled with individuals who in their past, had been used and abused by one or more Narcissists. Visit those groups and ask the prior victims whether they still feel that the Narcissist was ever their “Soul Mate“.

When someone whom you barely know (it could be a co-worker or someone that you met in a bar) starts talking about you and them being “Soul Mates” or being “Kindred Spirits“, take a deep breath. Such talk could very well be an indication that you are dealing with a personality disordered individual.

Been there and heard that. If the nonsense talk of “Soul Mates or Kindred Spirits” comes up, I remain polite. If it happens on a first date, I still try to have a fun evening. When I take my date home, I decline her offer to come in for a night cap drink. A night cap invite, is really an invite to spend the night,

Yes, becoming intimate with pretty much a stranger can be enjoyable. It could also emotionally trap you in the land of regrets. If someone is that easy and eager to get into bed with you, then they could be just as easy and eager to get into bed with someone else (or anyone else for that matter). Of course your mileage may differ. On my way home, I make a mental note to have as little as possible to do with that person again.

Have I ever considered that the “Soul Mates” “Kindred Spirits” nonsense was the real deal? Look, when you barely know someone, they do not know you. The only thing that they have any knowledge of, is how you look physically. But it is what is inside that counts. They have “not” spent enough time with you, to discover “you”. In my opinion, they are only feeding you a line to hook you. I step back and ask myself why would someone do that?

A Narcissist looks deeply into your eyes and softly says that when they look at you they see their “Soul Mate“. Your heart rate increases. Your face starts to flush. Your Fight or Flight response shuts down. You become enamored. Your judgements becomes clouded. You believe the Narcissist and feel oh so wonderful having found “Your Soul Mate“.

A variant of the above is having the Narcissist take you aside (they would not want other potential Targets to hear) to inform you that they feel that the both of you are “Kindred Spirits“.

Not so fast.Heck you hardly know each other. It could be a Red Flag called Love Bombing, which is a tactic commonly used by Cluster-B Disordered individuals such as Narcissists.

Generally you get such “Bullshit” lines when the Narcissist wants something, which they believe that they can con you into “giving to them”.

It could be something physical, like maybe providing a roof over their head when they move into your “Home”. Narcissists are rather good at planning ahead, “for themselves”.

It could be that you are wealthy and the Narcissist feels that it would only be proper if a “Soul Mate” shared their wealth with another “Soul Mate”.

It could be that you are rather Handsome or Beautiful. The Narcissist would feel so proud parading you around on their arm. The Trophy Wife syndrome.

Maybe you are extremely popular and or famous. In such a case the Narcissist will happily tag along to all those special events that you get invited to. That helps to keep their fragile Ego well inflated.

It could be that they are having a bad month. Their last source of Narcissistic Supply finally got fed up and went No Contact. The Narcissist needs Narcissistic Supply, not unlike a Drug Addict needing their fix.

You may not be rich or beautiful or famous. You’re just a normal average human being, who has an internal desire to be find someone to love and to be loved back. As such, to the narcissist you are nothing special.

A Cerebral Narcissist, for example, would not give you a second thought because to them you just are not good enough and so unworthy of becoming their Source of Narcissistic Supply. Unless they are down on their Source of Narcissistic Supply. In such a case they will gladly “use” anyone. Heck when they find a way better Source of Supply, they can unceremoniously dump you. For now they open their bag of tricks and start with the Love Bombing.

Are you still glad the Narcissist told you that they see you as their “Soul Mate” or that you both are “Kindred Spirits“?

Google’s Search Engine is your friend. Do some searches for “Support for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse” and variations of that. You will find many Yahoo Groups, websites and Facebook Groups filled with individuals who in their past, had been used and abused by one or more Narcissists. Visit those groups and ask the prior victims whether they still feel that the Narcissist was ever their “Soul Mate“.

When someone whom you barely know (it could be a co-worker or someone that you met in a bar) starts talking about you and them being “Soul Mates” or being “Kindred Spirits“, take a deep breath. Such talk could very well be an indication that you are dealing with a personality disordered individual.

Been there and heard that. If the nonsense talk of “Soul Mates or Kindred Spirits” comes up, I remain polite. If it happens on a first date, I still try to have a fun evening. When I take my date home, I decline her offer to come in for a night cap drink. A night cap invite, is really an invite to spend the night,

Yes, becoming intimate with pretty much a stranger can be enjoyable. It could also emotionally trap you in the land of regrets. If someone is that easy and eager to get into bed with you, then they could be just as easy and eager to get into bed with someone else (or anyone else for that matter). Of course your mileage may differ. On my way home, I make a mental note to have as little as possible to do with that person again.

Have I ever considered that the “Soul Mates” “Kindred Spirits” nonsense was the real deal? Look, when you barely know someone, they do not know you. The only thing that they have any knowledge of, is how you look physically. But it is what is inside that counts. They have “not” spent enough time with you, to discover “you”. In my opinion, they are only feeding you a line to hook you. I step back and ask myself why would someone do that?

Narcissists and the User Mentality: Investing in a Manipulator

“It is the nature of the Narcissistic beast to gain at the expense of others. They are generally attracted to partners that have resources or something they admire, be it beauty, wealth, their career, connections, or intelligence. If a Narcissist can’t benefit from you in some way they will not invest any of their time or energy into knowing you and will likely dismiss you and hold you in contempt.”

David Kessler’s explanation of “Capture” could explain the formation and basis of Narcissism.

Who isDavid Kessler? He is the former Commissioner of the Food and Drug Administration.

His argument is that the process he refers to as “Capture”, is the “common mechanism” for all forms of Mental Illness and that it is based on the hard Wiring of the Brain and not on Chemical Imbalances.

Empathy lights up specific ares of a “more normal” Brain. Such does not happen with individuals with Cluster-B disorders. I have read that Brain Scans of Psychopaths indicate that areas of their Brains related to enjoyment light up when they view scenes of people being physically hurt or mutilated. Such never happens in the general population.

This video is an intimate look back on a relationship with a Cerebral Narcissist. The presenter discusses her Cerebral Narcissist Husband as a textbook example.

She also details Narcissist’s issues with their “Mother”, which seem to be a common theme with Cerebral Narcissists.

Cerebral male narcissists tend to have moderate to severe ‘mother issues‘ where they have secretly-held or overtly-declared anger, disdain, and or generalized hurt originating from early childhood experiences from their mothers lack of attentive loving parenting. They tend to secretly dislike women.

You could feel the continued pain she still has, when she discussed her memory of being rejected sexually by her Husband.

Sex with a Cerebral Narcissist is controlled by the “Intimacy Factor”. Becoming “Intimate” with another person is something which Narcissists cannot do, especially Cerebral Narcissists (no Empathy for others, so Intimacy cannot be established). They much prefer viewing Porn and Masturbation, to having sex with a “real person”.

If the Supply Source is better Educated (this is major consideration with “Cerebral Narcissists“) then it is deemed to be a High Grade/Quality Source. If you make more money or have a higher job title, then again you are deemed to be a GoodHigh Grade/Quality Source of Supply. If you are physically better looking, then again you are a High Grade/Quality Source of Supply.

Being classified as a High Grade/QualitySource of Narcissistic Supplyguarantees really awesome sex. The Narcissist wants to impress such a sex partner. They will get a rush if they can sexually impress a High Grade/Quality Source of Narcissistic Supply. Narcissists always look up to people whom they consider to be a good High Grade/Quality Source of Supply.

On the opposite end of the stick is what Narcissists classify as a Bad or Poor, Low Grade/Quality Source of Narcissist Supply. This type or person will not be someone whom the Narcissist will ever look up to. Such a person will likely be far less educated (again a major big deal with Cerebral Narcissists) than the Narcissist. The person will earn far less money. They will have a much lower job title. This is the type of person that the Narcissist disdains. But since a High Grade/Quality Source of Supply is unavailable, they will feed off the Low Grade/Quality Source.

Since they do not look up to and actually have a disdain for such a Low Grade/Quality Source, the Sex will be far from satisfactory. To a Narcissist, Sex with a Low Grade/QualitySource of Supply is not much different than Masturbation.

To top things off the Narcissist will then complain to the Low Grade/Quality Source of Supply, that it was the Source’s fault for the lousy sex. It takes two to Tango, but the Narcissist could care less to Tango in this case. The Low Grade/Quality Source of Supply ends up with a lowered sense of self after such sex. Perfect for the Narcissist, because it makes the Low Grade Source of Supply easier to further manipulate.

“Narcissistic Supply really refers to those people who provide a constant source of attention, approval, adoration, admiration, etc., for the narcissist. The attention they receive from the “Supply Source” is vital for the survival of the narcissist, without it they would die (either physically or metaphorically), because their weak ego depends on it in order to regulate their unstable self-worth and self-esteem.”

“Furthermore, they cannot tolerate any sign of independence and autonomy from their “supply”, this only serves to enrage them. The narcissistic supply is there to serve them”

“The source of Secondary Narcissistic Supply comes from those people and things that provide that supply on a regular basis; spouse, family, friends, colleagues, partners, business etc., all of which give them a feeling of security and pride, and the appearance of leading a well-adjusted life. “

“Once again the narcissist goes looking for a new narcissistic source, and if necessary they will resort to a lower social network of victim in order to feed the addiction for admiration. “

This is what can happen when a male Narcissist is confronted with proof that he has been cheating. The male Narcissist becomes enraged and tries to strike his female source of Narcissistic Supply. The female is having none of that and proceeds to put the male Narcissist in his place.

If only life worked that way. Your best and safest bet, is to have “No Contact” with the Narcissist.

Disclaimer: I am in no way suggesting to get into a physical fight with anyone, let alone a Narcissist. I was trying to be funny in this post. Your sense of humour may vastly differ. I do not mean to offend anyone or get anyone hurt.

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You should always talk to your health care provider for diagnosis and treatment,
including your specific medical needs. None of the information offered through this website represents or warrants that any particular information is safe, appropriate or effective for you. We advise users to always seek the advice of a physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions regarding personal health or medical conditions.

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Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read or seen in a post on this site.

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Don’t let people treat you like a cigarette

Narcissists Do Not Love. They Hold Hostages!

Disclaimer

Nothing in the content, of this site, should be considered, or used as a substitute for, medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

This site is for entertainment and educational purposes and does not constitute the practice of any medical, nursing or other professional health care advice, diagnosis or treatment.

You should always talk to your health care provider for diagnosis and treatment,
including your specific medical needs. None of the information offered through this website represents or warrants that any particular information is safe, appropriate or effective for you. We advise users to always seek the advice of a physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions regarding personal health or medical conditions.

If you have or suspect that you have a medical problem or condition, please contact a qualified health care professional immediately.

Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read or seen in a post on this site.

On this site we have a Menu Link which can help you to find a Licensed Therapist in your area. Please use the provided link which is in the Main Menu at the top of the main page.