i am seeking, i am striving, i am in it with all my heart. -vincent van gogh

Little Sister

“Bless you, my darling, and remember you are always in the heart- tucked oh so close there is no chance of escape- of your sister.”–Katherine Mansfield

Once upon a time, there was a scrawny, gawky, and terribly egocentric fourteen year old named Brittany Anne. Brittany was the oldest of three siblings, Alex, Ben, and Hanah. Though she loved all three of them very, very much, she did grow weary of fulfilling her role as the older sister and, in her own contrived imaginings, the “live-in indentured servant”. When Brittany’s diabolical mother told her that she was going to have another sibling for Brittany to watch all the time, you can imagine Brittany’s immediate repulsion: “ANOTHER kid to watch?? What kind of hotel is this?” In other words, she was utterly annoyed and overwhelmingly stressed. For nine months, while this alleged Sibling #4 was being gestationally baked, all Brittany could think about was how dreadful her life was going to become once the little dirtbag was born. By the time the fated day, April 30, 1998 finally arrived, Brittany’s mind had been well made up that this baby was on her own. Brittany had washed her hands of the entire affair. No more diapers, no more bottles, no more filthy rice cereal and baby food and baths. That would show her mom- the baby factory/slave driver. Even though it wasn’t the new baby’s fault that Brittany wasn’t utterly thrillified to have another sibling, there was really nothing she could do about it. All of these sinister thoughts surfed through Brittany’s brain all the way to the hospital. When Brittany finally saw her new baby sister, her first thought was, “Boy is she ever HUGE!” That new little baby was practically the size of a kindergartner. But she was cute. Brittany still wasn’t convinced though. After a couple days, the new little life-ruiner was allowed to come home. Brittany had no idea what she was in for. Upon arriving home, Brittany’s mom asked her to hold the new baby for a few minutes while she got settled. With much adolescent and estrogenical disdain, Brittany agreed. She took her new baby sister in her arms and sat down in a rocking chair in the family room. By some miracle, the house that was usually loud with chaos fell silent. Not a peep did Brittany hear as she sat there rocking her new baby sister. And it was in that rocking chair that something truly miraculous happened, and it took no more than three seconds. As Brittany rocked her brand-new, straight from the wings of Heaven, fifteen pound baby sister, her little black heart unleashed it’s stubborn grip and actually melted right into her toes. All at once, every feeling she had ever had of animosity was disintegrated and all she could feel for that new little person was love, love love. Her plan was foiled- she loved her new baby sister and there was no getting around it. All her previous feelings were diminished, and at that moment all she cared about was loving that new baby and being the absolute most legit big sister there ever was.