I am doing ok! I am doing my readings (Bible and al anon materials) and I am truly focusing on my recovery and taking this life with my AH one day at a time. Many times before after a crisis I was overly consumed about keeping my AH from drinking again, but for some reason (so far) I am not fretting about it as much. When I feel doubt creep in I am reciting the serenity prayer that was suggested by someone on here and I stop and pray. Giving it over to God is all I can do because I am POWERLESS over this disease. For the first time in a long time I am feeling like one of the chain links that have been around me for so long has been loosened and I may just break loose at some point.

I am on a three night work stretch (day 2) and I am staying on track with an exercise program that I started about an year ago and that is making me feel strong as well. As for my AH, he has a psych evaluation later today after work and he seems irritable, but otherwise he has maintained his sobriety for 3 days now since release from detox and that is big for him because he has not done that for many years. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but for today I am counting my blessings and giving all the glory to God! Have a blessed evening.

Sister...live in the moment and the day and practice letting go and letting God. For me that is where the rocket power arrives from. Review the suggestions from the program and this MIP family and do for you what you would do for others. Keep coming back....this works!! (

When you being "OK" and you having a good day, or a great day, and you enjoying what it is you are doing...when all those things happen, no matter what happens to him or with him...then you know you'll have found and are living a life of recovery.

It's an amazing thing. All the best.

__________________

Bo

Keep coming back...

God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...

Oh (((Kat)) I love what Bo said to you....I know I am working my program and emotionally sober when I can be "OK" being me, doing my life, focusing on me and the beauty around me regardless of whatever is going on with the alcoholics that I know and will always love, but I'm a "hands off" girl..I take care of the one thing I can take care of and that is me and my pets........take care and keep coming back

I really believe that once I (finally) accepted that I truly was "powerless" over my AW's disease, that realization was completely freeing as well - as it only stood to reason that if I truly was powerless over her drinking (which I most certainly am), that I also could not be blamed for her drinking, nor was her sobriety my obligation/worry....

Easier said than done sometimes, but you're doing all the right things, and keeping your side of the street well kept.

Tom

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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

Just keep doing you Kat, even when it feels unnatural, just keep doing you! (((Hugs)))

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Those first few days home from detox and/or rehab were always brutal for me early on. The first 6 times or so my wife went to detox/rehab, whenever she came home, it was like waiting for the call from the doctor as to whether or not I had cancer. I knew, either she would come home and immediately begin to live a life of recovery -- go to meetings, get a sponsor, work her program, do whatever she had to in order to stay clean and sober, and do all of this because she wanted to get and stay better and get and stay healthy...OR...she would come home and not do that. Early on, I prayed, hoped, wished more than anything it would be the former. It was always the latter.

High hopes...low expectations.

That saved my life. I lived it.

She'd come home and be happy to be home, on edge a bit, agitated a bit, sometimes just be so happy, another time just was angry. But whatever she did...it was everything and anything...other than the former, above. Sad.

Later on...after I got better...the next few times she came home...I was fine. I was good, healthy, in a good place. She just did what she did -- everything and anything -- but it wasn't the former, above. And I was OK with it, because I was healthy. I did 90 in 90. I did 180 in 90. I've spent a quarter of a century in this program...which is a program for US.

I remember once she came home, was so happy, sharing with me how much she "learned" while away, how much "insight" she obtained. She shared so many things with me, all positive. Never once mentioned drinking or not drinking now that she was home. Never once mentioned going to a meeting. Never once mentioned readings, or a sponsor. Never once mentioned recovery. One week later she brought home a bottle of wine...for us to celebrate. I was OK. I was at peace. I did not drink, nor celebrate with her. And I was really OK.

I am so grateful for alanon.

__________________

Bo

Keep coming back...

God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...