Month: February, 2014

Yesterday, I had a mid-term. I was unable to prepare this exam properly due to Reasons (read: sick again as usual) and knew beforehand that I would not pass. Worse even, I would probably not even get a high enough grade to be eligible for the resit and will probably have to take the class again next year, because absurd rules. It would also be my first sit down exam since the one in May 2013 when I walked out of a final. I know.

My “normal” way of dealing with this kind of pressure (or any sit down exam really) is to cry on the floor, yell to my mother over the phone all night, and tell myself, well, awful things. Not productive in any way and tiring to boot. In line with my debittering and my new mantra (and also because I have been and still am working on my exam terror-issues with a Professional Person), I decided to try a different approach: no crying, not floors nor anywhere else, no yelling at mothers, mine or other people’s, just prepare as much as I can and go. If I managed to do that, I’d be an amazing feat and a great success. And I couldn’t tell you why it worked this time, but it did. I didn’t cry, I slept, I studied some in the early morning, went to the exam, was on time, wrote down what I knew, handed it in and that was it.

And even later that day, I only worried a little about this whole situation. So yeah, it seems like I’m slowly but surely improving on the exam terror front. Which, and this might sound strange, at this time is more important than passing this class. I am really hoping that after 24+ years of blind panic before EACH AND EVERY sit down exam, yes, even the ones for which I was wonderfully prepared and for which I ended up getting amazing grades, this will turn out to be the beginning of a healthier way of dealing with, life basically. *breathes out*

I’m often in awe of people who seem to manage to keep up with it all: their studies, a job, a social life, the internet. I oftentimes can’t even keep up with one of them, let alone all of them. In the last year and a half or so, I find myself unplugging from the internet more and more, in favor of Alone Time (read: lots of sleep, mostly). And the longer I’m away from it, the harder it get to come back to it, like with anything in life really.

At least, that’s how things work for me: if I don’t force myself to do things and keep doing them on a regular basis, after an X amount of time even a simple thing like going to the supermarket will become this huge, almost impossible feat. Especially when it’s cold outside. Offers for jobs in warmer, constant climates are very welcome and can be sent to LogPoes@gmail.com.

But enough about my neuroses, let’s talk about creative stuff. As some of you might know, I tend to fancy myself a bit of an ~artiste~ enjoy glueing stuff to other stuff using Mod Podge. And as anyone who’s ever gone to kindergarten embarked on a creative project knows, if you don’t clean up immediately after using things, it will all turn into a huge mess. Which is what happened. The last time I sorted out my craft/art supplies, was, uh, never. Oops. Like I mentioned in my post on the Sketchbook Project, it got to a point that I couldn’t even find essentials like my cutting boards and my ruler. So, I reorganized my whole craft supplies closet.

After 3 hours of sorting and throwing away 5 boxes of unusable junk, this is the result (click to embiggen):

and

Apart from the great feeling to (I’d almost say finally) have a grasp on something again, knowing exactly what I have and where it is, has ~awakened a creative fire in me~ given me ideas for future projects. Which, considering that I’ve been in a creative slump for (what feels like) eons, feels pretty great.

It’s the first week of a new semester and like always, it feels like the calm before the storm. Well, the relative calm, because of course I am still waiting for results from last semester, half my books aren’t here yet, and I am waiting for Executive Decisions from The Powers That Be. But hey, I attended a screening of Shakespeare in Love last night, which was a lot funnier than I remembered, and went to a very entertaining poetry reading this afternoon, so yay. File under: debittering.

Also filed under debittering: I have apparently also reentered an ~I LOOOVE doing mah nailz~ phase. I really don’t know what triggers it, but I go for months without putting crap on my nails polishing my nails and then I get back into it hardcore. I’ve tried photographing today’s adventure (Catrice Ultimate Nail Lacquer in 43 Miami pINK, tipped off with Catrice Ultimate Nail Lacquer in 40 I’m Dynamite) but all pictures came out horrid. So you’ll have to use your imagination.

And because I’m quite sure that there’s nothing you like to know more than the things I think about while I do my nails, a short list of Things I Think About While Waiting for My Nail Polish to Dry:

– Why are California gurls undeniable? The song just states that they are, but gives no reason. And I also want proof, because I’m quite sure there must be California girls that get denied all sorts of stuff on a regular basis. Or is that because they aren’t gUrls? And also: how is that “we’ll melt your popsicle”-metaphor supposed to make any sense? And is there a link between that metaphor and having no clue how anatomy works because of the lack of sex ed in American schools?

– What is up with the whole “to be deleted” trend? I’ve been seeing it more and more recently, mostly on Tumblr, and I just don’t understand. Has “to be deleted”, like “to the left”, turned into an idiomatic expression meaning something along the lines of “this post contains really private and/or TMI information, reader beware” or do people actually mean that they’re going to be deleting their post? And if it’s the latter, why would you post something knowing that you’re going to delete it later? What is the point? *so confused*

– I know it’s a proverb and it shouldn’t be taken literally but people, can we for a moment discuss how the proverb “in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king” is not only ablist as f*ck, but also just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever? I mean, if there was a land in which EVERYONE is completely blind, wouldn’t you think they’d arranged their society and public life in a way in which sight is of zero relevance, let alone importance?

I’m a right philosopher, I am. Sweater Dude ain’t got nothing on me. Answers, thoughts and/or pointers in a general direction are, as always, welcome. And now, on to printing a 40 page article on somekindoflinguisticphenomenon that has to be read before tomorrow morning, 9 am. I know.