New Movies HotOrNot (2006/09/29)

September 29, 2006

Hollywood (and the foreign filmhouses as well) unleash another load of dung on an unsuspecting populace. Pretty much all of the new flicks are rubbish. School for Scoundrels at leasted looked like it might be good, but it’s going downhill fast in the reviews.

Instead of seeing something new, see something old that’s good like:

Half Nelson

Little Miss Sunshine

The Devil Wears Prada

Talladega Nights

An Inconvenient Truth

The Illusionist

The fact that some of these movies are still in theatres is a testament to how bad the recent crop of flicks has been.

Fearless – HOT. Jet Li action flick. You know you want to see it.Jackass 2 – HOT/NOT. You either like it or you don’t.Who Killed the Electric Car? – HOT/NOT. Looks like it could be an interesting documentary. Has clips with Mel Gibson, Tom Hanks, Martin Sheen…School for Scoundrels – HOT/NOT. Oooh, getting bad reviews. But I really like the director/cast. Dammit.The Journals of Knud Rasmussen – HOT/NOT. Another Inuit flick from the people who did Atanarjuat: the Fast Runner. Not as well received. Rent Atanarjuat instead.House of Sand – NOT. A women spends 59 years trying to escape the desert, you’ll spend 115 minutes trying to escape the theatre.Le Petit Lieutenant – NOT. Critics love foreign flicks, and when the reviews are so-so, I know to give it a pass.The Guardian – NOT. Kevin Costner AND Ashton Kutcher? WOW, what amazing casting (sarcasm).Flyboys – NOT. No one has anything good to say about this movie.Open Season – NOT. Martin Lawrence, Debra Messing, and Ashton Kutcher. That would be a perfect cast for a disaster flick that mysteriously had some kind of horrible, fatal accident. Emphasis on fatal. Rent the Mothman Prophecies isntead, Debra Messing dies in the first five minutes!All the King’s Men – NOT. Universally condemned. Abandon hope all ye who enter this theatre.Love’s Abiding Joy – NOT. Made for TV, showing in theatres for some unknown reason.Asterix and the Vikings – NOT. At least this isn’t live action.Uganda Rising – NOT? Doesn’t exist on IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes.