All posts tagged retirement lifestyle

Retirement. It’s something you’ve thought about for years but kept saying you will deal with it nearer the time. But how do you make sure you’re ready to deal with change when you do come to retire?

So this blog is not about money, it’s about managing change, anxiety and relationships during one of the biggest changes in your life. It has been adapted from an US article.

Retirement might be your time to do your own thing, to travel overseas, go bush in the outback, spend quality time with your loved ones, to return to education, start a different career, take up a volunteer activity, begin an exercise program, or pursue a hobby. There are so many things you could be doing with your newfound time. It seems as though the possibilities for life changes in retirement are endless. But many struggle in that initial period.

Even though you are excited to enter this new stage of life, the amount of change can feel overwhelming and it can intimidating to handle change in retirement. If a lifetime of work demanded much of your time and attention, you may not have had the opportunity to develop many leisure time interests. You may find yourself looking for new things to do and get involved with.

If many of your social activities have involved people from work, you may want and need to develop friendships that are based on your new interests (think about Rotary, Probus, Men’s Shed, Book Club, Classic Car Group, Yoga, Red Hat Society, Bush Walking Club etc.). If you are retiring and adjusting to an empty nest at the same time, you may feel especially challenged handling all of this change associated with retirement. Despite wanting to retire, adapting to so many changes in your life can be difficult.

How you’ve handled change during your lifetime can offer insight into how well you’ll adapt to change in retirement. Having an awareness of how to better manage change can improve your adjustment to retirement.

Here are ten questions to ask yourself about handling life changes in retirement:

1.What changes do you want to make in your life? This is a big question but you probably have some ideas of things you’d like to start doing or do more of. Exercise, travel, family time and household projects are all common starting points. Make a list and begin to identify all the ways you want to change your life in retirement. Tip for Ladies: Is your husband struggling for ideas? Try “101 Things to Do With A Retired Man: … to Get Him Out From Under Your Feet!”

2. Why do you want to make these changes? It’s not enough to say you want to improve your diet or read more books. It’s time to figure out the benefits of making these changes. What will you gain by eating differently or reading more? Recognise why you want to make the change so that you’ll be encouraged to follow through with it.

3. What change do you want to make first? If you’ve been thinking about all you could do in retirement, you may discover that it’s hard to figure out where to begin. Feeling overwhelmed by the choices may mean that you don’t select anything. Keep it simple. If you could change just one thing, what would it be?

4. What impact will your changes have on others? Often if we change something in our life, it has a domino effect. If you go back to school, you may need to use weekend time for studying. If your volunteer project involves evenings, you may need to give up some family time. Recognise that others in your life may question the changes that involve them. Talk about the upcoming changes with significant others and gain their support.

5. Are you willing to change? Are you going to be frustrated making a change in your life when it isn’t something you truly want to do? If you’re a stay-at-home person, don’t kid yourself and try to adopt a freewheeling, caravanning lifestyle just because others say you’ll love it. This is could be a change that you won’t really be willing to make long-term.

6. Are you ready to change? It’s one thing to say you want to start exercising, volunteering or start learning a language. Doing it may be harder than you think. You may be someone who finds change is really difficult. If that’s you, prepare yourself mentally for more challenges right at the start.

7. Are you prepared to make the effort? Making changes in your life requires an effort. Be ready for a learning curve and some inherent frustrations. As adults, we get comfortable in our habits and routines. If you really want to begin an exercise program, you may need a significant amount of willpower to get yourself started.

8. Who can help you change? When you’re learning something new, ask for help. Join a group, connect online or ask others in your network for advice. You may have spent your whole life wanting to figure things out for yourself. Recognise that your time now is a valuable resource. Don’t waste it. Ask for help.

9. Can you check your ego at the door? The first time you try doing something new, it’s likely you won’t be great at it. New things take practice. Don’t let your fear of failure or ego get in the way of learning something new. Look at it this way—you made it this far in life, you are certainly capable of learning a yoga pose or to put up shelves.

10. Are you seeing the results you expected? Make your changes and give yourself a reasonable amount of time to get used to them. Are you seeing the benefits you expected? If not, chalk it up to good experience and move on.

Accept that retirement will bring many changes in your life. Increasing your awareness about how you adapt to change will contribute to your overall retirement happiness.

Looking for an adviser that will keep you up to date and provide guidance and tips like in this blog? Then why not contact me at our Castle Hill or Windsor office in Northwest Sydney to arrange a one on one consultation. Just click the Schedule Now button up on the left to find the appointment options. Do it! make 2018 the year to get organised or it will be 2028 before you know it.

Please consider passing on this article to family or friends. Pay it forward!

This information has been prepared without taking account of your objectives, financial situation or needs. Because of this you should, before acting on this information, consider its appropriateness, having regard to your objectives, financial situation and needs. This website provides an overview or summary only and it should not be considered a comprehensive statement on any matter or relied upon as such.

I have adapted this content to Australian circumstances from an original American article on retirementstyle.com By Deborah Williams

I deal with a lot of couples where one spouse has retired well in advance of the other and has established a routine or habits they are comfortable with and enjoy. The working spouse is often totally engrossed in their career or business with little else in the way of interests or hobbies. When they do eventually retire they can not only struggle to make the most of the free time, but they can also destroy the lifestyle their parter has come to enjoy.

This letter printed in Newsweek in 2004 sums it up better than I ever could and should be a warning to you to ensure your spouse or partner regardless of gender, has interests that extend beyond their working life.

THE ‘GOLDEN YEARS’ ARE BEGINNING TO TARNISH

My worst nightmare has become reality. My husband retired. As the CEO of his own software company, he used to make important decisions daily. Now he decides when to take a nap and for how long. He does not play golf, tennis or bridge, which means he is at home for what seems like 48 hours a day. That’s a lot of togetherness.

Much has changed since he stopped working. My husband now defines “sleeping in” as staying in bed until 6 a.m. He often walks in the morning for exercise but says he can’t walk if he gets up late. Late is 5:30. His morning routine is to take out the dog, plug in the coffee and await the morning paper. (And it had better not be late!) When the paper finally arrives, his favorite section is the obits. He reads each and every one–often aloud–and becomes angry if the deceased’s age is not listed. I’d like to work on my crossword puzzle in peace. When I bring this to his attention, he stops briefly–but he soon finds another article that must be shared.

Some retirement couples enjoy this time of life together. Usually these are couples who are not dependent on their spouse for their happiness and well-being. My husband is not one of these individuals. Many wives I’ve spoken to identify with my experience and are happy to know that they’re not alone. One friend told me that when her husband retired, he grew a strip of Velcro on his side and attached himself to her. They were married 43 years and she hinted they may not make it to 44. Another woman said her husband not only takes her to the beauty shop, but goes in with her and waits! Another said her husband follows her everywhere but to the bathroom… and that’s only because she locks the bathroom door.

When I leave the house, my husband asks: “Where are you going?” followed by “When will you be back?” Even when I’m at home he needs to know where I am every moment. “Where’s Jan?” he asks the dog. This is bad enough, but at least he hasn’t Velcroed himself to me–yet.

I often see retired couples shopping together in the grocery store. Usually they are arguing. I hate it when my husband goes shopping with me. He takes charge of the cart and disappears. With my arms full of cans, I have to search the aisles until I locate him and the cart, which is now loaded with strange-smelling cheeses, high-fat snacks and greasy sausages–none of which was on the shopping list.

Putting up with annoying habits is easier when hubby is at work all day and at home only in the evening and on weekends. But little annoying habits become big annoying habits when done on a daily basis. Hearing my husband yell and curse at the TV during the evening news was bad enough when he was working, and it was just once a day. Now he has all day to get riled up watching Fox News. Sometimes leaving the house isn’t even a satisfying reprieve. When I went out of town for a week and put him in charge of the house and animals, I returned to have my parrot greet me with a mouthful of expletives and deep-bellied belches. It wasn’t hard to figure out what had been going on in my absence.

Not that my husband has any problem acting out while I’m around. He recently noticed that our cat had been climbing the palm trees, causing their leaves to bend. His solution? Buy a huge roll of barbed wire and wrap the trunks. After wrapping 10 palms, he looked like he had been in a fight with a tiger and the house took on the appearance of a high-security prison. Neighbors stopped midstride while on their daily walks to stare. I stayed out of sight. In the meantime, the cat learned to negotiate the barbed wire and climbed the palms anyway.

It is now another hot, dry summer, and the leaves on our trees are starting to fall. Yesterday my husband decided to take the dog out for some fresh air. They stood in the driveway while he counted the leaves falling from the ash tree. Aloud. Another meaningful retirement activity.

I think my husband enjoys being at home with me. I am the one with the problem. I am a person who needs a lot of “alone time,” and I get crazy when someone is following me around or wanting to know my every move. My husband is full of questions and comments when I am on the phone, working on my computer or taking time out to read. It is his way of telling me he wants to be included, wanted and needed. I love that he cares–but he still drives me up the wall.

I receive a lot of catalogs. In one there is a pillow advertised that says grow old with me. the best is yet to be. Another catalog has a different pillow. It reads screw the golden years. Right now it’s a tossup as to which pillow will best describe our retirement years together. Just don’t ask me while I’m working on my crossword puzzle.

Zeh lives in Houston.

Do you get the point I am trying to get across? Retirement takes as much planning as working years. You still have to fill all those waking hours previously filled with commuting and work. If you don’t plan ahead and ensure your partner does too then you could end up destroying both of your retirements and often your relationship. It is no surprise that their has been a rise in what is term “grey divorce as couples find themselves with an empty nest and only each other for company. We start planning the transition to retirement with clients 5-10 years out to ensure they have covered off all facets of their retirement needs. That’s what a professional planner covers rather than just an investment advisor.

I hope this guidance has been helpful and please take the time to comment. Feedback always appreciated. Please reblog, retweet, like on Facebook etc to make sure we get the news out there. As always please contact me if you want to look at your own options. We have offices in Castle Hill and Windsor but can meet clients anywhere in Sydney or via Skype.

This information has been prepared without taking account of your objectives, financial situation or needs. Because of this you should, before acting on this information, consider its appropriateness, having regard to your objectives, financial situation and needs. This website provides an overview or summary only and it should not be considered a comprehensive statement on any matter or relied upon as such.

Blog Stats

463,227 hits

Blogroll

Verante Financial Knowledge Centre
We understand that the financial industry is full of jargon and concepts that can be difficult for people to get their head around or remember. So to learn more about money and finance at our Financial Knowledge Centre is a great place to start.

Company website

Verante Financial Knowledge Centre
We understand that the financial industry is full of jargon and concepts that can be difficult for people to get their head around or remember. So to learn more about money and finance at our Financial Knowledge Centre is a great place to start.

Government website

Industry Website

Newsletter

Verante Financial Knowledge Centre
We understand that the financial industry is full of jargon and concepts that can be difficult for people to get their head around or remember. So to learn more about money and finance at our Financial Knowledge Centre is a great place to start.