I think my son has Asperger's

Adrienne - posted on 06/14/2009
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Maybe Im crazy, but I know he is just not very normal. He is only 3 and the 3rd of my 4 boys, so I tell myself to wait it out, but to me he just doesnt fit in, and really he is hard to live with, there are days I just dont want to be around him. Where should I start.

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Sian - posted on 08/07/2009

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Sounds aspy to me. Good for you for testing. My only advise to add would be to make sure they look at him in a social setting. One on one, Aspies can fairly typical, it's in the crazy social world that's so normal for us and so inexplicable to them that their real differences come out. My son was tested at 5 (in an office only) and was found to NOT be on the spectrum. We had him tested again at 7 (this time they also looked at him in a school environment) and that was when we finally got our diagnosis. Don't quit on your little guy and follow your gut. You see his difficulty, you're not crazy or a bad parent, you're his champion and his protector. Good luck.

Hell Andrienne, I know i am a little late on this conversation but i am also a military spouse and we are going through the stuff you are talking about and my son see many different people. Speach therp., Counsuler, OT Therp. and the first big screening we did they told me he just didnt fit all the sign of autisum and when the reports came back tot he 3 people that i just mentioned they all said he need to be rescreend by another team and that is what we did... we had too wait a bit but with the second one we had the diagnosis... so i will keep pushing for it. and the military will pay for it all.

Well Zander was "screened" yesterday, and they are telling me he is going to be ADHD. Im not 100% on that one yet. Seems he doesnt have all the classic symptoms. I think its going to take time to get the right diagnosis. When he starts preschool will be a good chance to see what is going on with this little one. For now the Drs are giving me the support I will need to deal with his difficult personality, that is what they call it. Ways to deal with all his little moods and tantrums. SIGH!

Sounds like he is pretty literatal and has to have things a certain way. I am thankful our son's kindergarten teacher saw some signs - such as transition difficulty, literal interpretation, some ocd behaviors, and asked us to get him tested. Now we are waiting to get through it all, but seems pretty certain he is going to test positive.

On the positive, he is very bright - we are just going to be challenged to find a balance between accomodating his needs while teaching him coping skills and behavior modification to address his "stressors". he is very much a "perfectionist" and is defeated at the slightest difficulty at times

Thanks everyone for your wonderful advice. Zander is going to be seen by a mental health proffesional who specializes in aspergers and autism. I guess its a 2 hr interview, not sure what it will involve all together, but hope it gets us somewhere.

When you are looking at Zander you see a happy playful young boy, when you live with Zander you see all the little quirky things he has to do to stay calm. My older two were home all day for summer break and when that started he just really kicked into high gear with all the tantrums and disobedience. That was when I started to look into all this AS stuff. Now that the routine is set with all the kids he has calmed down. But still wont eat unless its what he wants, is that a spoiled boy? Has to have popcycles all the time, and needs yougurt and juice before his day starts , umm When he was little he would not eat any white things, sweet or not. Still does not play with toys. Wants now to be outside all day, cant peddle a bike, sings and dances , with rythum, all the time.

Attacks his baby brother all day for no reason, and said he wouldnt cry if his brother got hurt. He doesnt understand us if we talk in a silly voice. and has a very slow understanding of sarcasm.

In one hand he seems like any 3 yr old boy, but then maybe not. ahhhhhh

I agree you definitly need him tested!That is so very important to get him treatment and help NOW!i had so many emotions.it was so hard so very hard..one summer he had melt downs every half hour i thought id go insane!but slowely things have gotten better and better..he needs to be tested ASAP ! if you need any advice please feel free to ask!

My son has Aspergers.He was late diagnosed.TEll me some of the signs what does he do ?How does he act.ect...does he have social issues ? Does he bang his head or just have behaviors all day ?Does a change in scheduale interupt and lead him into a tizzy ?

Definitely get a thorough eval asap! My son was recently diagnosed, but like you I have known for years that he was different. Since I've had the diagnosis a world of support and education has opened up to me that has made us both happier. Hang in there!

What it is about him or what he is doing that makes you feel is isnt very "normal"? As a mother I had a guy feeling very early on that my son was different. They say early intervention is key and by listing these things you might be able to take the next step if you think they are valid.

Adrienne, you need to have him tested and COMPLETELY tested because they'll want to rule out ADD/ADHD. If they do then they test further. My son has Asperger's and he sounded JUST like your son at that age. He is now a smart, talented 3rd grader with a true artistic gift and the bonus of a photographic memory. Once you know what you are dealing with and how to deal with it, you learn to handle things better.

AND WHATEVER YOU DO- DO NOT COMPARE HIM TO ELDER SIBLINGS. If he is an Aspy, you'll realize that you have been unwittingly making life hard for him...

Ok, you have definitely hit a few keys there. Rigidity,own world,social issues. You need to have him evaluated by competent professionals. I checked the Yale web site and fou d two support groups in Anchorage :Anchorage Parents Support Group for Asperger SyndromeSponsored by the Special Education Parents Resources CenterBrenda RossRoss_Brenda@msmail.asd.K12.ak.usPeggy Sandbergksand@alaska.net(907) 333-5634

We are AD Air Force, and live in Anchorage AK. He may just be a tempermentall 3 yr old, but really he makes me insane. there is no getting him to do what he is not willing to do, he his a definate creature of habit and when I try to sway him he freaks out, in large social sits he just wants to sing and dance in his own , very serious little world. I rarely see him playing with toys, he has older brothers so their interest are abit much for him. I just have always thought he was diff, maybe not AS, but something, It sjust getting hard for the other kids to want to likehim around, and that is sad a bit,:(