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Me: “Hey guys, check out this timely piece of information that critically changes the way we do our jobs.”

Coworkers: “…”

Me: “Guys?”

Coworkers: *…*

Me: “Sooo…. Anything I can do to make this information easier to digest for you, just let me know.”

Coworkers: *sound of crickets*

…………..ONE HOUR LATER…………..

Male (junior) coworker: “Hey guys, check out this timely piece of information that critically changes the way we do our jobs.”

Coworkers: “Wow, great information! Thanks for finding this – you must scour news sources all DAY for this kind of thing! You certainly did not rip it from an email sent earlier in the day by your underpaid colleague! What would we do without you and your Great White Penis?”

Male (junior) coworker:“I know, I’m pretty great. I can tell you value my Great White Penis more than the original source of this information because I have six months of work experience, but I’m paid about 50 percent more than that one chick in the corner, who’s been doing this for ten years! You know the one, always mouthing off about ‘timely information,’ whatever the hell that means.”