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Ads are forcefully injected into our daily lives, without permission or explicit consent. We didn’t explicitly sign up for them and never agreed to the terms. And yet, we live alongside these glossy pages, commercials, and billboards every day.

They are ubiquitous. Ads are everywhere from our public schools to smartphones. Frankly, it’s easy to get fed up with the onslaught. To crave peace, tranquility, and minimalism is only natural. People are forcibly removing ads from view and saying “enough is enough.”

Marketers have noticed the resistance among consumers. Their old methods don’t seem to work. Print is dying, television is increasingly losing out to on-demand, and people are using ad blockers for the Internet. In response, they’re changing their methods, mediums, and messages. They’ve cleared the drawing board and developed new ways to attract us.

For marketers, the times are a changing. Consumers are living in this strange epoch of technology, social networking, and the “sharing economy.” Growing numbers of people are eschewing ownership, as technology has minimized our book cases and empowered us to pool resources. Selling us products has become a difficult proposition: what will we buy?

Amidst changing demographics, economic interests, and consumer preferences, growing numbers of companies are creating inspirational, aspirational, and ethically driven advertising. They know that if they inspire, touch, and/or move us we’ll share, tweet, fave, and like. The strategy is complex, but if advertisers can appeal to causes you believe in, you’ll be more likely to spread the word. As a bonus, articles and ads that are shared by consumers aren’t tagged with “advertisement” or “sponsored;” instead, they sneak behind the consumer wall and get peers to market to each other.

Even people who believe in anti-consumption, frugality, and simple living are being psychologically duped into sharing advertisements. And we seem to be accepting that our friends’ updates and tweets now include these reminders to buy, buy, buy. We are volitionally advertising to those we love most.

By now you might be looking for some examples. Most recently, REI created a massive social networking ad campaign centered on boycotting Black Friday. USAToday’s Hadley Malcolm wrote, “In an unprecedented move for the modern-day holiday shopping season, REI’s 143 stores will be closed the day after Thanksgiving.” REI even inspired a creative hashtag: #OptOutside. How fun! This outdoor and recreational company’s value driven campaign appeals directly to those who hate the co-opting and consumerism of that day.

Malcolm’s article has been shared over 200,000 on Facebook alone. That’s one article for the company’s decision. Many in the simple living community have written about the decision – highlighting how it meets their values. It’s been shared all over Twitter.

REI is bucking a trend, but it’s not the first company to say they’re not supportive of post-Thanksgiving mass shopping. Last year, Patagonia published ads that said, “Don’t buy this jacket” in regards to Cyber Monday (the week after Thanksgiving). Again, the anti-consumptive ads were shared massively. It was a viral success — just like this year’s ads.

After Patagonia’s advertising campaign, they received huge press attention and their sales skyrocketed. It worked. REI’s advertisements have already worked, too.

They’ll reduce sales for one day: Black Friday. And then, the sales will greatly increase as those remember REI meets their values. To the company, money is money – doesn’t matter if it comes on Friday or next week.

Ultimately, it’s our power not to share. Companies know how to captivate us with their messages – even if they say “Don’t buy me.” We can’t help but respect these values and click tweet. In this economy, we choose what brands, products, and companies win. The responsibility is ours, but we needn’t do the work for them.

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For my first year of graduate school in Iowa City, I wasn’t able to get back to see family for Thanksgiving. Motivated by the irony and sadness of spending the holiday alone, I watched a sappy movie and ate a cold turkey sandwich. This sorry state was only amplified by my linoleum/concrete floors that were like permafrost ice blocks for my feet, and the dingy, yellowish light of my apartment. All I could think was, “If I were rich, how would this be different?”

Dreams of a vacation I didn’t have

Presumably, I would’ve sat near the front of the airplane — speeding to my destination. The service would’ve been better, too. Maybe I could’ve afforded a first-class ticket. Perhaps this could be a regular weekend getaway. Luggage fees wouldn’t have been usury and awful — just mere pennies to my millions. Although, I probably would not have needed to pay for those fees anyways, as my credit cards and connections would lead to waivers. Either way, I would’ve been wealthy enough to afford whatever outcome. I would never stand in front of a ticket counter, after buying a ticket online, and be surprised that there’s an additional bag fee — breaking my budget and robbing me of my little available savings.

Finally at my destination’s airport, I would’ve rented a car. Not just any car, but a luxury vehicle to speed around the mean streets — something familiar and like my lifestyle. Again, I would have enjoyed the whisk and breeze of skipping lines, priority rentals, and free upgrades. My parents, family, and friends wouldn’t have needed to worry about me; I’d show up on time, no help and reliance necessary. Time would continually be on my side, as waiting would be heavily reduced.

As I walked through the airport, and saw the nice luggage and bags, I could have looked them up on my phone and instantly purchased my own. I wouldn’t need to hesitate to buy something so practical and helpful. Why not get some class with a Louis Vuitton set? Throw in those shoes, too! Traveling in style feels better.

Going home, I would have been excited to see all the friends and family I could. But I’d have to look sharp. Maybe I could stop by my favorite barber for a cleanup? My photos would be filled with the material goods that ooze success. I could show my parents, in person, what they had raised — that I had picked up my bootstraps and become a capitalistic achievement. They could be proud of my wealth and ability.

Thanksgiving without family, but not without heart

Reality is a cold shower. I can’t remember the last time I purchased something and didn’t feel guilty, nervous, and anxious for the added expense. I had looked at plane tickets for this Thanksgiving, but at nearly $500 plus airport shuttle fees, I couldn’t afford it. In a way, it felt like I was forced into frugality, without a choice (unless you consider debt to be an option, which I don’t).

As my friends and the rest of this consummate college town fled their studies and small-town lives for another location, there was a powerfully isolating feeling to my thriftiness and decision to stay. I fully expected it to be another cold turkey sandwich and night alone, but that all changed when a co-worker invited me to dinner. He knew I’d be here, without plans, and suggested I tag along.

What really matters

In that moment of deep gratitude, the Louis Vuitton dreams subsided. Pictures of first-class comfort and VIP lines faded. Suddenly, I felt humbled by his generosity and honored to be included. I was truly thankful — without any need for material goods, money, or proof of my worth.

Wealth is a funny target. If I only wanted to make money, I should’ve chosen a different career. Instead, I was motivated to help others and temporarily delay earning potential. My path to occupational success likely won’t include boatloads of cash.

Undeniably, if I had enough money available, I would’ve flown to Colorado to see my family. And honestly, if I had the money, I would’ve loved the creature comforts of first class. Both of these decisions would get me spending more money and being less frugal.

But at the end of the break, it was clear and simple: I just wanted to enjoy the day with people who are kind and open-hearted. Wealth just didn’t matter. If I were rich, I would’nt have wanted anything more than to share that moment with those I care about.

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Thanksgiving dinner. Photo credit: Satya Murthy/Flickr

Thanksgiving is four days away! It’s a time for unusual abundance and tradition, with food nearly spilling off the sides of tables and soon-to-be ballooning stomachs. Yes, we Americans are fantastic at recognizing those we care about on this national holiday.

There’s a special energy around this day, as it tells us to be thankful for what we have and share with others. These are the most humble, honorable thoughts you can have, and they directly affect everyone around us. It’s kindergarten all over again — share your toys and candies. But we needn’t make this a brief aside in our otherwise short and busy lives.

This day can inspire us to act, change, and provide for those who need help most. Last year I wrote about 3 charities you should consider supporting in this day of thanks. I have a brand new list this year!

The following are 4 charities for Thanksgiving that I’ll be donating to:

1. Doctors Without Borders

A couple years ago I watched a brilliant documentary entitled Living in Emergency. This soul-crushing film captured the difficult and dangerous world of war-torn countries. And there are a select few helpers — non-violent humanitarians — that run towards these struggles and help the suffering people of these countries.

Doctors Without Borders has a history of exceptional success and medical advocacy for those most in need — internationally. They are mostly active in African states and failed nations, and I’m happy to be supporting this organization this year.

2. Wounded Warrior Project

I have had the fortunate opportunity to work with a deluge of veterans recently. I’m immensely honored by their service and dedication. There are various organizations and charities that provide support, but none has reached vets quite like the Wounded Warrior Project.

The WWP aims to help vets return to civilian life by approaching solutions that are both education-related and emotionally supportive. This strikes a powerful balance that’s necessary to help vets recover. We owe it to these heroes that served — regardless of the political turmoil that surrounded the decisions to put these men and women in harms way.

3. The Always Remember Never Surrender Endowment

About four to five years ago, I was deeply affected by suicide. A resident of mine in a college residence hall died by suicide, and I have been forever changed by this event.

To honor this man’s life and provide an outlet for suicide prevention, I created the Always Remember Never Surrender Scholarship Endowment. Now, around 4 years into fundraising and giving, the endowment has raised nearly $35,000. Each year, that money goes to undergraduate students looking to reduce stigma, create research, and/or provide services for those suffering from thoughts of suicide.

4. Shelter House of Iowa City

This year I’m working in a homeless shelter for my counseling psychology doctoral degree. Before this experience, I thought I understood the “facts” about homelessness. I thought I was understanding and empathetic to the plight of those with less. But being here, seeing their faces, and hearing their stories, I’ve been activated more than ever.

We need to make more of a fuss about how we treat those with the least. We need to stand up for them and support their educations, basic shelter needs, and respect the diversity of mental health functioning within this population. Shelter House provides a wealth of services to the homeless in my community, and I’m happy to be able to donate to help them this year.

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First-Class View On American

As I flew home to enjoy the holiday with family, my feeling of privilege couldn’t have been greater. I sat in a cozy first-row seat of first-class on American thanks to a rewards credit card with bonus miles. While the seat may have been “free,” the opportunity was afforded to me.

While my Thanksgiving has been a bit non-traditional, as a number of family members are being asked to work the holiday, I’m fortunate that those around me are healthy and well. Likewise, I’m fortunate to be healthy, temporarily-abled, and to be in graduate school.

With this wonderful privilege, I cannot help wondering how I can give back. As the cheesy line in Spiderman goes:

Despite being in massive amounts of debt, I decided to donate to 3 special causes. The following are three organizations that I’d ask you to support with me:

1. No Kid Hungry

The actor, Jeff Bridges, has a mission to end child hunger. No Kid Hungry is a charity that’s supported by the actor and helps feed children nationwide. Just $1 of support equals 10 meals for children.

This is the perfect charity to give to this Thanksgiving, as you think about those who may have less. Food is a necessity, and the charity helps aid the people that need it most. Donate here: http://www.nokidhungry.org/

2. Always Remember Never Surrender Scholarship

This is a scholarship endowment that will always be near the top of my list. The Always Remember Never Surrender Scholarship supports undergraduate students in psychology to research, study, and pursue a field that helps prevent suicide. This issue is very dear to me, and I always like to give to help support the educations of others.

The ACLU has long been a champion of freedom, liberty, and social equality. They have a long history of fighting for free speech and empowering minority groups. Please consider giving here: https://www.aclu.org/