Monday, October 01, 2012

DaBigBoom in HRPG-World: 2-4 Exploding Kiwis in the Nether Regions

The posting schedule is a little wonky at the moment as I've had a couple of hectic weeks with cars grinding to a halt and other real-life nuisances. This chapter/series has also proven to be a little chaotic, descending fully into farce and parody. I'm not sure where it will end up, but I'll stick with it just to get the damn thing out of my system. Fans of my darker work fear not, there should be a story more to your liking appearing fairly soon in Literotica's Halloween contest. (Maybe, it does feature a succubus-possessed sex doll after all)Anyway. Without further ado, here's:

DaBigBoom in HRPG-World 2-4: Exploding Kiwis in the Nether Regions

“Tubby isn’t the problem,” OldFart said. “He’s big and he’s got a lot of hit points, but none of his attacks does much damage. No, the real problem is her . . . the succubus.”

OldFart pointed down to a pathway that ran off to the right of the bridge. It wound between dead trees and under a broken archway. At the end of the path was—

DaBigBoom’s mouth dropped open.

Wow.

That was a hottie. A real, blazing hot, totally fuckable hottie. She looked like a porn star or glamour model in a Halloween Devil costume, what little of it there was. She looked a little like another Pihanga, but a Pihanga DaBigBoom didn’t want to throttle. There was a whole bunch of other things DaBigBoom would like to do to her instead, most of which were unprintable. Like Pihanga, the succubus had horns, wings and a tail, but unlike Pihanga everything was filled out and looked more . . . mature.

18-rated.

Especially her chest. She was amply filled out in the chest department.

Were those real? They couldn’t be real.

If he’d seen breasts like that on a real-life girl with a similarly slender figure, DaBigBoom would have snap-called them as artificial. The succubus was wearing a low-cut baroque bikini top that barely contained them. Her boobs had . . . bounce. She hovered a few inches off the ground, supported by languid flaps of her great bat wings. Her breasts bobbed with each down sweep.

“That’s how she gets you, mate,” OldFart said. “Hypnotises you with those puppies, and then . . .”

“She does things to you,” Looserbait said. He stared at the floor. “Naughty things.”

“Uh huh.” DaBigBoom wasn’t listening. His attention was focused on the way the shiny globes of her tits bounced and jiggled as she floated a few inches off the ground.

“Okay, listen up,” Pihanga ordered. “This is the plan. KwinnyBomb, you come with me. We’ll take out the guards to the left of the bridge. Schreck and the rest of the k’winny mob will charge the main gate and beat up Waldorf.”

That was the plan? Charge? All that drawing in the dirt and that was the best she could come up with. That was a stupid fucking plan, DaBigBoom thought.

“What about the succubus?” Bob asked.

“DaBigBoom will take care of that,” Pihanga said, again with the crafty gleam in her eye.

DaBigBoom looked at the succubus again. Or more particularly, at the way her breasts bounced up and down as she floated a few inches above the ground. He was down with that part of the plan.

“His is the second most important role,” Pihanga said.

“Because if the succubus gets out of that path she’ll cream us all,” Bob whispered to DaBigBoom.

“Fiore will go with him,” Pihanga continued.

DaBigBoom was still looking at the succubus’s bobbing boobs.

“Okay, go!” Pihanga ordered.

She entered the chequerboard at a glowing orange square and moved towards the gate. The guards watched her scamper towards them with bored expressions. They didn’t move out of the squares they were standing in. KwinnyBomb, cartwheels spinning, trundled after her. They moved four squares and stopped. Schreck followed next, with the rest of the k’winny mob fanning out behind him.

“This way,” Fiore said, making sure DaBigBoom entered the board through the orange square and then pulling him to the right.

She also walked four squares before stopping abruptly. DaBigBoom was about to walk past when she held out an arm and stopped him.

“Wait. We have to wait for our turn to come back around.”

Damn stupid computer game rules.

DaBigBoom looked at the succubus. She was really hot. And practically naked. Her hopelessly-skimpy frayed leather bra was matched by an equally skimpy pair of black panties. The tan expanse of her flat stomach was exposed as were most of her luscious thighs. In a perverse attempt to compensate for the acres of skin on display she wore long black gloves that went past her elbows and an equally long pair of kinky black boots that went up past her knees. DaBigBoom supposed baroque stiletto heels were less of an impracticality if the wearer never had to actually walk in them.

The succubus saw them coming and gave DaBigBoom a sultry smile. He smiled back and tipped her a saucy wink. The succubus pouted her full lips and blew DaBigBoom a steamy kiss. She placed hands underneath her considerable breasts and smooshed them together. DaBigBoom gulped.

Take care of her? Yes please.

“Stop flirting with the succubus,” Fiore said.

“Why? She’s not a hermaphrodite too, is she?” DaBigBoom asked. He looked down at the floating girl’s crotch for signs of a tell-tale bulge. All he saw was a rather obvious camel toe that reddened his cheeks.

“No, they’re just really . . . skanky,” Fiore said.

DaBigBoom was fine with skanky. He looked at the succubus’s teasing smile and bouncing tits. Especially this kind of skanky. The succubus stared at him, tossed back her flowing black hair and pulled a series of glamour model poses.

“True love must be pure,” Fiore said, “just like my love for Ruhara.”

She pulled out a scrap of paper and unfolded it to reveal a picture of a demon boy with a long flowing black cape. Other than the cape the boy was completely naked above the waist and his bare chest was totally exposed. He carried a sword that was bigger than him.

She clutched the paper to her flat bosom and her face lit up in a way DaBigBoom thought was slightly disturbing.

“Pervert,” he muttered, before turning back to stare at the succubus’s bouncing titties.

“It’s us again,” Fiore said.

She took DaBigBoom’s arm and took them four squares closer to the broken archway at the head of the path. Another turn and they’d pass under it and be right before the waiting she-demon. That thought triggered a pleasant little throb in DaBigBoom’s groin.

“Launch k’winnies!” Pihanga yelled.

What the?

DaBigBoom turned around in time to see KwinnyBomb flying through the air in the direction of the guards to the left of the bridge.

“Mateeeeeeee!” KwinnyBomb yelled.

He landed on a square between two guards—skinny looking emo kids with pointed ears—and exploded.

The guards held up arms and grimaced. Thirty-four in white numbers floated up above their heads. When the cloud dissipated there was no sign of KwinnyBomb at all. He’d exploded. Like a grenade. Like . . .

. . . a KwinnyBomb.

DaBigBoom thought about the name Pihanga had given him.

He had a bad feeling about this.

Fiore had the build of a slim little teenage girl. Not the build of someone DaBigBoom would have thought capable of plucking him up off the ground and lifting him right above their head.

“Hey wait,” he said.

Fiore didn’t. She stretched her arms back and launched him the direction of the succubus with all the force she could muster.

Fuuuuck, DaBigBoom thought as he flew over the broken archway. The succubus already had her hands up in front of her face. Fiore had her eyes screwed shut and fingers in her ears.

DaBigBoom hit the ground at the feet of the succubus with a krump.

He didn’t explode.

This seemed to take everyone by surprise.

DaBigBoom awkwardly picked himself back up. The succubus floated in front of him. Her smile and the seductive gleam in her eyes—more lustful even than Fiore’s for her underage pin-up—had returned to her face.

“Um . . . hi,” DaBigBoom said.

DaBigBoom in HRPG-World 2 will continue next week, where I imagine things will get a lot more steamy. She has been waiting for four chapters after all . . .