This is a blog written about real subjects and situations - life.
I love to write and live to write. Blogging and sharing my thoughts is a great release from everyday life.
Life is: anger, happiness, love, lust, tragedy, death, sex, depression and what you make it. Don't sugarcoat it - this is it.

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Monday, 7 May 2012

Limbo in it's mild form...supposedly

No matter how well you have your life planned out, or how healthy you are, you never know what's round the corner (something that I will no doubt reiterate in my blogs, as it's something I get reminded of on a regular basis!)

I hate not knowing and I am the kind of person who has to know now, and deal with the problem asap. But I'm slowly learning more patience (I used to have more, but talking to the public for 3 1/2 years, on and off, wore some of it down).

I can 99% confidently say I am now actually in remission, for which I'm happy for. I can now string a decent sentence together, remember what I ate for dinner last night, and my general relapse symptoms have buggered off. However, as my last relapse only finished in the Autumn, and this relapse bought about new symptoms (Optic Neuritis and a numb/shooting pain down my left side), I'm scared and apprehensive of when the next relapse will happen - essentially, I'm stuck in limbo.

Being stuck in limbo sucks, but I have to look at at positively: I am better for now, and if my last remission period was anything to go by, it could last for nearly six months (with the medication now settling down, this could be longer), then hopefully I should be healthy for a while.

I am now back in my positive mode, but still of course have my days where MS really pisses me off (if it was a person, it would get a good slap or two around the face).

My new doctor was really ignorant about it and said to me: "You don't look like you have MS." To which I replied: "How am I meant to look with MS then?!" He said: "Well, I'd expect you to be less able, and it seems it has affected you mildly."

My neurologist also sent me a copy of the letter he sent my GP, stating: "The lady has some facial paralysis, some slight tingling in her left upper and lower limbs - but otherwise her symptoms are mild." Mild? Sod off. Just because I'm not Primary or Secondary Progressive, it doesn't mean that this is mild. Mild would mean hardly noticeable in my world.

Two words I hate: Mild & Nice. Both are boring and are understatements (I also remember my English teacher hating the word "Nice", stating it was "Boring and Lazy.")

Anyway, before I carry on, Limbo is a bitch, but it could be worse. Life is unknown anyway, so essentially all life could be in limbo - whether you feel it or not...or something.