He obviously needs help so let's help him out and offer our suggestions.Let me start with these, feel free to comment on mine, or add your own.

1. Please emphasize to the O-line "holding" is a penalty & drive killer. Practice not holding.2. Throw the ball to tight ends & running backs more in the MIDDLE of the field where you get mismatches. 3. Shur, "mismatch" means LB'ers trying to guard said above in space.4. You are too predictable and I would avoid running against a 9 man box.5. Perhaps consider on 3rd and 6's have the receives run 6-7-8 yard routes. Not 2,3, or 4 yard routes.6. Buy Sheldon Brown a pair of heel lifts. He was one inch away from an interception which would have stopped the Steeler first half ending drive.

9. Quit while you're ahead. Hey, you're ahead now. So quit.10. When the opposition gives you eight turnovers, try to score more than 20 points off of them. You're an "offensive guru". Figure it out - that game should have been a blowout.11. When you have the ball with 3 minutes left in the game and a six point lead, try to win the game. Don't try to run out the clock, especially if they have three time outs left. Yeah, it worked, enjoy that nut blind squirrel.12. Interview for college coaching vacancies now. Take one of them if stupidly offered to you. You'd make a good coach for a third tier MAC team - you and Terry Bowden could have quite the rivalry.13. Invest your money wisely. Nobody will ever pay you this much again for any job ever. 14. When greeting people at Wal Mart, make eye contact and try not to look so vacuous. 15. Admit your limitations. Things like "motivation" and "coaching" don't work for you. Look into Amway.

On your next team when you are developing a rookie QB, maybe you should open up the play book more for him. Wheel routes, hooks, curls, drags, quick outs, seams, fly patterns, posts, comebacks, etc..every possible pass play in your arsenal. and tell the fucking kid not to worry about interceptions, he gets a free pass his first year. This is the only way to know the kid's limitations. Then after evaluating this raw data on film, you can (wait for it) TAILOR THE FUCKING OFFENSE TO WHAT THE KID DOES BEST!!!