50 Shades of Grey – Chapter Six

After a thrilling couple of minutes in an elevator, in which Christian Grey stuck his tongue down Ana’s throat, we are forced to rejoin the story for Ana’s inevitably long-winded analysis of a situation her tiny brain has certainly failed to comprehend. Bloody hell.

I thought a quick fumble in a lift would have stopped Ana’s unbearable gurning. Apparently I was wrong.

Honestly, his surname should be Cryptic, not Grey.

Yeh, but only if this were some kind of two-dimensional universe in which people are defined by only one major characteristic, and thus become caricatures of themselves. It’s not though, because that would make for awful reading.

Grey and Ana get out at her duplex. Grey’s hair is described as ‘decadent’, and Kate has an ‘I’ve-been-having-a-good-time-all-night grin’, because that’s the sort of crap I’m reading.

Elliot [kisses] Kate, sweeping her off her feet and dipping her in a dramatic hold so that her hair touches the ground as he kisses her hard.

Either her hair is several feet long, or she’s going need to visit a chiropractor.