Monday, February 16, 2009

I went to the gym for the first time today. I dragged my (not) insignificant butt out of the house into a chilly morning, child in arms, ready to face the unknown world of voluntary and intentional self-improvement. I felt more than a little trepidation as I drove there. It has been a long, long time since I set foot in a house of exercise. When I got there I dropped the bean off in the children's holding pen and went off on my way. I felt like it was the first day of school and I didn't know where to go or what to do.

Much like school though, no one was really watching me. Or if they were, there was no obvious finger pointing accompanied by snickers. All in all, it wasn't too bad. I survived my approximately 45 minute workout and am pleasantly sore tonight.

Not surprisingly, my first day had its revelations:

1. The elliptical machine is hard. I mean really hard. I thought it would be fun. Ha. It took all my concentration just to keep my feet on the dagblasted pedals. I couldn't even let go of the hand holds to grab a drink of water. And I had to get off after 10 minutes. On easy.

2. My butt was not the biggest one in there. More importantly, my butt was significantly smaller than several that were clad in tighty-tight exercise shorts or pants. I actually bought a pair of the short version the other day with the intent of wearing them under my loose shorts. Seems like overkill now. I might just join the herd and go in next time thighs ablazin'.

3. I've got to figure out something to avoid the crotch creep. You know, where the fabric pulls up in the inner thigh region. Doing a leg shake every 10 steps or so on the treadmill doesn't seem like a good long term solution although I'll bet it does add a little something to my workout.

4. I desperately need to put together a workout soundtrack. I didn't have my MP3 player with me, so I wound up watching TV. CNN and Rachel Ray just don't get me pumped for some high energy calorie burn like, say, Lady GaGa.

5. Despite the fact that it is in no way a race, I couldn't help looking at what speed/incline the people next to me were going and trying to beat them. If it were a race, though, I would totally have won. And by won I mean lost miserably.

I'm going back tomorrow morning, bright and early, for my complimentary personal trainer session. I hope s/he doesn't make me get on the elliptical.

Believe me..the first time I did the ellipital (gosh I know I spelled that wrong!)machine I could barely make the pedal go down when it got to the hard parts. Now I think I could fold laundry while I work out. You really get use to it.

Don't compare yourself to others numbers. I did this once and was so pissed that the guy in front of me was burning like so many more calories than me, and I had been on there longer, and was going faster! It wasn't till later that I figured out that your weight that you type in calculates your calorie burn and that makes such a difference. Here this guy weighed like 50 lbs more than me, so he was burning the calories faster than I could have ever caught up. What I do is watch my own numbers and race myself....like I have to burn 100 calories every 10 minutes, and I have to do 1000 steps every 10 minutes, so I am constantly watching my meters and racing myself.Ummmm....okay. Maybe I have spent way too much time on the elliptical machine not having anyone to talk to....this sucks and now I'm embarassed. I'll stop now!

As much as this should have deterred me from going to the gym, I find myself strangely drawn to one. Mostly because I want to figure out the answer the crotch creep thing and race you on the elliptical.

Ok, one thing? The elliptical? Sucktastic. I hate that damn thing. I am so uncoordinated. And on the crotch creep. I have that too, and I didn't used to. Pisses me off. If you are making a workout playlist think about including "Turn to Stone" by ELO, or "Stand and Deliver" by Adam Ant. I have no shame when it comes to motivating music. Cheesy as those may be, I can get a lot cheesier.

Oh, and how about "Shut up and Drive" by Rihanna. There. That makes me cool again, doesn't it?

Popping in from SITS!! I got a kick outta your workout post!! Don't we all feel like that at the gym??!! I am a fitness instructor, and I am always thinking...what are they thinking about me, what does my butt look like in these shorts, why does the whole class have to look at my backside the WHOLE hour...etc. Don't worry, you are NOT alone!! Love the blog!!

I have been too afraid to try the elliptical and have, in fact, only used the treadmill because I am too afraid to try any unfamiliar equipment. And, let's face it, before this year I had not set foot in a gym for at least 5 years so pretty much everything there is unfamiliar.

If Sophie likes the holding pen, you are in great shape! I hear lots of moms whose kids cry the whole time or who get interrupted ten minutes into their workouts because of a child care issue.

Awesome :] Take it easy. I am honestly looking forward to healing up and going back to the gym. Our baby carrier/carseat thing is frickin heavy and I'm gonna need muscles and stamina to keep up with my kid!