A Letter to My Baby

Dearest Baby Gulliver,

You are the cutest, sweetest, darlingest baby on the interwebs right now. We love you very much and we can't get enough of you. We love snuggling with you and we think it's so adorable to wake up to your smiling baby face.

But we think it may be about time that you stop sleeping in our bedroom. It seems, in our best estimation, that when you are sleeping in your bassinet, you are aware that you are not sleeping in bed with us. And so you keep waking up all night lately, whereas you used to wake up just once! I think that I have spoiled you because you have ended up in bed with us by about 8:00 a.m. every day since you were born. And I'm telling you---you are adorable sleeping next to me. I love snuggling you right up to me. But baby, I need to sleep through the night, and I don't get to take that big, fat, 3-4 hour nap that you seem to like to take at 10:00 a.m.

Also, we think it's probably time that you start going to sleep before 1:00 a.m. Just a suggestion.

And I'm not really even sure how to do this, despite the books that I've read, because some part of me is reeeeeeally curious how you're supposed to magically go to sleep at 10:00 or 8:00 or whenever, if you've been used to going to sleep at 1:00 a.m. And I'm reeeeeeeally not looking forward to this whole "crying it out" thing because when you cry, I stress eat, and I've already eaten half a jar of Nutella with a spoon, so I don't need extra stress eating in my life. Also, I can't get over the feeling when you're crying that you're despising me for not immediately catering to your sweet baby needs. And I think that mothers are programmed to go berzerk if their babies are crying. You hardly ever cry and I'm really not looking forward to intentionally leaving you to cry. I'll just have to keep reminding myself that it's for your own benefit.

I am not looking forward to tonight. You, on the other hand, have no idea what's coming, so at least you get to enjoy your day today.

The first couple nights are torture for you, but he'll settle down on his own eventually.

I had a professor suggest going in to check occasionally but never actually picking baby up - just a consoling it's-okay-mommy's-here-but-it's-time-to-sleep type thing. *shrug* We didn't ever use it though. ;) hahaha

BEST advice - ignore everyone's advice (books? Come on!!) and do what's best for you three. You'll be fine. PROMISE.

Good luck! Sometimes parenting feels like one long string things that are miserable in the moment, but pay off in the long run. Why can't kids just realize you have their best interest in mind??? Sheesh.

i read on google reader now and realized I never comment anymore. i remember calling my mom bawling while I tried to figure out why my firstborn would not stop crying. anyways, i loved the book baby whisperer, despite its silly title. If anything it gave me a stepping off point to find what worked for us.

it is going to suck. but it is worth it. it takes about a week to be totally done but each day is a little easier.just remember if you give in then you kinda just taught them they need to cry for x amount of time and they will get picked up. then the next time it takes even longer becasue he will cry for x amount of time at least. trust me, i gave in and i paid for it every time.sometimes you need to give in. you are his mommy, and you will be able to tell when it is time.i wish this on no mother, but every mother has to do it. just remember when he is crying that you are good parents. and being a good parent means teaching your baby to soothe himself to sleep. it is a life skill he needs and you are good parents to teach him.i tried not to pick my little guy up, i just went in ever 7 or so mins. and made sure he knew he hadn't been abandoned.no baby ever killed himself crying. at least i never heard of one. he will forget the whole thing and he will always love is parents. try not to let it get to you (yeah right, i know)good luck.i love yor blog and your baby is the cutest!

I found your blog and have kept returning because I enjoy your writing! I learned in Child Development that if you meet your child's needs every time he/she cries during their first year, you will find that he/she will cry less and less because he finds that what he does makes a difference, and this makes him more secure. Along with this was the information that you can't "spoil" a child in his first year, so doing this wouldn't spoil him. It's not easy to do this, but it does get easier when the crying becomes less. I only got brave enough to comment because I didn't know if you had heard about this particular view. Best wishes to all of you--Gulliver is most certainly a beautiful baby.

We have tried the Ferber method on and off (not sure if that's' the same as crying it out, but it's at least similar). It hasn't worked for us yet. We can tell when she gets herself too worked up to calm down without help. You can hear it in her cry. Now that she can pull herself to standing in the crib she can really get going.

As for bedtime, we just started putting her to bed about 15 minutes earlier each night until she got to the time we wanted.

I was bad at the "let her cry" thing - fortunately Daddy was fully committed to the process. I couldn't walk in without picking her up; he could. It worked really well for us, and it wasn't really all that traumatic. The fun part is that every time she gets sick or has shots, it messes up her sleep schedule and we then have to retrain her for 1-2 nights. It's much simpler the 5th or 6th time around - the system works.

Does Gulliver have a comfort item yet? A blankie? Binkie? He needs one. Because if you're going to let him cry it out, you need to keep placing that item in his hands, on his cheek, etc. so he knows it's okay. ALSO... if you're going to use this method, DO.NOT.MAKE.EYE.CONTACT.It's your way of shutting down any communication he might be trying to have with you. It's time to sleep, not talk. He'll get it. Repeat after me:I am a good mom.