Phil Cooley, of Slows Bar-B-Q fame, once said that millionaires and billionaires are ruining Detroit. Mayor Dave Bing seems inclined to agree. He’s promising to go after the real estate speculators who sit on crumbling Detroit buildings and wait for magic fairies riding atop unicorns to trade a big bag of money for decrepit property. Bing should start with the idiot who owns that burned-out hulk known as the AAA Building near Grand Circus Park. [DetNews]

The DSO has a new contract proposal for their striking musicians. Discussing the DSO strike is becoming a little like striking Barbaro with a baseball bat. Eventually, they’ll sort it out and then everyone can go back to not caring about classical music again. After all, many of you probably think “kill the wabbit” is an original lyric from “Ride of the Valkyries.” [Freep]

Some weirdo pervert was arrested for exposing himself near a school. Fortunately, no children were around to see it. Children probably shouldn’t have to look at this skeeze, even when he’s wearing pants. Dude’s wig (check out his mug shot) is an unnatural abomination and an affront to almost every conceivable standard of public decency. A dead squirrel would make for a more believable hairpiece. [WDIV]