Because if he’s not then Emma Watson is in major trouble. Her family should just start the intervention now. She’s getting like $5 million for every Harry Potter installment and probably making tons more of merchandising and PR gigs. And she dates THAT guy? What the hell is wrong with her?

Now him I can understand. His name is Johnny Borrell and he’s the lead singer of the band, Razorlight. He got dumped by Kirsten “Snaggletooth” Dunst last year, mostly due to the fact that he really likes heroin. Alot. Probably as much as Jim likes pork fat. But most likely even more. And he’s also uglier than sin. So it makes sense to go after a young high school piece of ass. And believe me, she’s a total step up from this:

And why should you believe me, you ask? Because I was born with a keen sense of awareness of the ugly in the world. I can instantly tell if someone is attractive or not. Sadly, I cry every time I pass a mirror because I know that I, myself, am not attractive. But at least I can tell who is. Damn you. :sniffle: