Very good chapter, wish I had my muse with me, but I think it decided to take a vacation... And it seems that my spirals have as well.

Why does everything vanish when I clean my room? Hm... I wonder if that spiral is out in the hall or in a box under the bed...or the closet... Oh well, I'll find it eventually.

Oh, where was I? Oh yes, It is a very well written chapter, thanks for taking the time to read one of my stories, I appreciate it. They aren't the best, as I tend to write semi-sue style... Can't figure out why, guess it's just more fun to put a bit of yourself (not the whole crazy shebang) into a story.

I really am enjoying this story, took me a while to understand KC was a guy and all, but it's really very good. Although, I think you may have posted this chapter before... Hope you continue writing, and don't get stuck like I did. Can't seem to finish my last four stories... Er, three, actually; forgot I wrote the end to one in a spiral. Probably should go looking for it. I wonder if it is in that box...

Yuki chapter 1 . 3/30/2009

Unfortunately I don't know Twilight so I can't comment on how the characters are portrayed and if they are in character but I did find the story to be well written and very interesting.

I want to throw a suggestion out at you. You've got a lot of chapters, a lot of words, and what looks like decent writing, but no reviews. I'm going to hazard a guess and say it's because no one has a clue what your story is about. Your summary doesn't summarize the story. No one plucks a book off the shelf at a store and buys it without reading the back cover and seeing what it's about. You have to have a summary. On top of that, the only thing that gives some insight into the story is your title "Kasper Cullen," and that's not helpful. It's not descriptive, it's pretty plain, and actually "Kasper" is a common typo for "Jasper" because J and K are next to each other on the keyboard, so you probably turned off quite a few people because they think you misspelled your title.

I think you'd have a lot of luck if you retitled your story, created a descriptive summary, and reposted chapter by chapter. You don't have to change your story, but if you start over reposting from chapter one with a new title and summary, those people who kept bypassing "Kasper Cullen" will see something new, won't realize it's a repost, and give it a shot.

And as a last suggestion, quite honestly, Kasper is a terrible name for a character. Not only are readers thinking of Casper the friendly ghost half the time, but who in their right mind names siblings rhyming names like that? I don't know any "Gary" and "Mary" brothers and sisters, and you've taken it beyond two normal names rhyming into a first name that just wasn't around in 1845. It turns your normal OC into a Mary Sue, and I'm positive you don't want that. So while I absolutely suggest the title/summary changes, I also think you should at the very least consider changing Kasper's name to something that would make more sense for the time period.