Logan Ryan’s celebratory dick-grabbing against the Jets has predictably cost him some money. $10,000, to be precise. Take that, NFL player. You may have the money and the glory but I get to grip on my junk for free. Advantage: … well, still him, probably.

– Speaking of, this was a graphic on ESPN today. You’re gone too Favre this time, Worldwide Leader.

— Ben Roethlisberger says being a receiver in the WildBen formation is exhausting. I think he’s just giving Todd Haley grief. Ben’s a fat dude, but he runs like 30 yards in the pocket during every pass attempt. He can handle a little light jogging for a play or two. “THE BEN NO LIKE BE FAKE CATCH MAN. THE BEN BORN TO BE PEW MAN! PEW PEW PEW!”

— Richard Sherman admitted he hid a concussion from coaches last season and it ended up benefiting his career. Hope he makes a lot of money in that career, because you ain’t getting nothing if you try suing the league after you’re done.

— The awful Vikings/Giants MNF game had a higher rating than Game 1 of the World Series. Haha, suck it, baseball.

— Cowboys-Jaguars, Lions-Falcons and Dolphins-Raiders are the three London games next season. So that assures all those teams will be horrible next year. Apologies to Falcons fans who assumed their team would bounce back after a disappointing 2013.

More people watched the Vikings shit their pants on the field than baseball?

Fuuuuuuuuuck.

I know baseball is terrible n’ all, but it saddens me that so many people witnessed that most embarrassing of games. I’d rather have watched baseball, to be honest. And this is coming from a person who is surprised baseball is still a thing that exists.

I love baseball, but I didn’t watch that game either. Boston vs. St. Louis? It’d be like watching Orloondo Bland and Keira Slightly try to generate chemistry for three hours (or one movie, whichever comes first).

I’m more disappointed in Ryan’s lack of hangtime, and that non-committal way his right leg dangles down. You’ve got to extend both legs, arch your back, and thrust while floating in the air like you’re in slow motion.