Oct 28, 2009

Top 11 Bread Facts

Here are some scary facts about bread that you might not know and an interesting measuring cup.

More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

Half of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; diseases such as typhoid, and yellow fever ravaged whole nations.

More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

Bread is made from a substance called 'dough'. It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average person eats more bread than that in one month.

Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

Bread is often a 'gateway' food item, leading the user to 'harder' items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts or bacon.

Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

Newborn babies can choke on bread.

Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit. That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

Most bread eaters are unable to distinguish between real scientific facts and useless statistical babbling. Maybe I should have saved this for April 1.