These Pictures Are Proof That The Everyday House Cat Is The Biggest Jerk In The Animal Kingdom

Where do we even begin with cats? They’re cute yet calculated, smart yet mischievous. While a dog will rip up your couch because it’s fun to do and there’s no malice involved, a cat will do the same thing for the perverse pleasure it feels by committing such an act.

Let’s be honest; cats have one goal and one goal only. This is to ensure that every human has a miserable life when they’re around cats. If cats were human, they’d be the sociopathic neighbor who continually crosses the line because they don’t care about your feelings. Cats are, unfortunately, intelligent and careful with every move they make. They have a purpose, and as you’ll see in this article, it’s not to benefit the human race.

“My Cat Deleted All My Work”

If you have a cat, make sure that the power button on your computer isn’t accessible on the top of the tower.

Cats understand when it’s final exam season, or when you have a deadline approaching for a major project that you’re working on. They’re not afraid to do the modern-day version of “eating your homework” and are glad to shut down your document before you’ve saved it.

When You Don’t Give Him The Right Kibbles And Bits

They’ll go for your jugular and not feel any remorse. Cats are keenly aware of how dependent humans are on technology.

They understand the power of leverage, and this is a prime example of how they use it. If the cat doesn’t get the food that they wanted, you can rest assured that your brand new iPhone 8 will end up shattered on the floor within the next hour.

Coming up, a nightmarish picture that shows the dedication a cat has to kill its prey.

The Lengths They’ll Go To Get Cinnamon Buns

From extensive scientific research, it seems that cats have a strong desire for cinnamon buns. It’s kind of a weird obsession for the species, but one that humans can use against their feline companions.

We talked about leverage earlier, and this owner is leveraging their cinnamon buns very effectively. By distracting the cat, this owner is buying himself more time to live. The more time this cat spends trying to get the treat, the less time he is plotting the homicide of the human race.

Spilling The Tea

The reason cats are going to be successful in removing every single human being from this planet is that they communicate well.

While we’re out here spilling the tea (or beans) on who Justin slept with last weekend, cats are busy communicating strategies about which pressure points can hurt the most on the human body. We need to learn cat language or we’re doomed.

A leaked picture from a crime scene that shows just how crazy cats are is coming up.

No Regard For The Things You Love Most

Newsflash: cats don’t care about your hobbies or your loves. They have no regard for any of the things that give us humans absolute bliss.

Not even the evilest serial killer would kill someone while they’re eating pizza, but that rule just doesn’t apply to cats. They’ll lay on a perfectly good pizza slice and have no problems falling asleep at night.

You’re NEVER Safe No Matter What

Just when you think that you can escape a cat, you’re proven wrong. They’re evolving and adapting to the world around them. For example, they’ve recently learned to open doors.

Another new development is being able to lock doors, which is terrifying. This is a crime scene picture that was leaked to the press after this cat crept into its owner’s room and committed an atrocious crime.

That “what are you going to do about it?” look that scares us all. It’s close.

They Have A Vendetta Against Your Cleaning Supplies

As painful as it is to say, cats are smarter than us. They torture us by destroying items in the house but then sit there looking cute to get out of trouble.

This cat made an insane mess WITH THE CLEANING SUPPLIES. It destroyed the very tools we can use to clean up which should be very unsettling to anyone. For humans to prevail, we NEED to see right through cats’ cuteness and discipline when needed.

Terrorizing A City

The scariest part of this whole epidemic is that many people think that cats are only terrorizing their personal owners. That’s not true.

They are the “devils of the night” in many communities, committing crimes like stealing shoes from unassuming neighbors just for the fun of it. This is what cats do for entertainment. We need to wake up and realize how truly dangerous they are.

They Hate Music

Anyone saying that a world run by cats wouldn’t be that bad sure has it coming to them. Do you like music? Because cats sure don’t.

They’re currently in the process of de-stringing every guitar on this planet and doing so without anyone knowing. This is a news story that no one wants to report on because of fear of retaliation by the cats.