E1.Longest
Time Pretending to be Foreign/Requirements:
Use a very bad foreign accent (foreign, of course to the country you live
in) - must becompletely
'over the top' and not at all beleivable - keep it up as long as possibleRecord
holders: Chris Rock, Worcester, England,
Julian Canny, Dublin, Ireland, Andrew
Cox, Jersey C.I. U.K. and
Mark Daniel, Worcester, EnglandCollectively
known as the "UK & Ireland Norway Cup Referees Group"Details:
6 hours per day for 8 days"Extremely bad Norwegian accents that sounded
more like Dutch or that bloke offthe
Red Square adverts (the fella with the neck brace on - Avid Merrion)."
Oslo July 2002 (late claim)Previous
record holder: A J Knapman, Birmingham, England 3½ hours November
2002

E2.Longest
Time Wearing A Full-Face Crash HelmetRequirements:
Take care when entering banks and when washing hairRecord
holder: Greg Jackson, London, EnglandDetails:
22 hours (Riding through Denmark and Holland to return to the UK) Summer
1994"I
must admit that my hair was a bit greasy, but the stench in my leather
pants was worse".Previous
record holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, EnglandDetails:
10 hours (Dispatch riding, multidrop - busy day) September 1988

E3.Longest
Time in a Lift (elevator)Requirements:
Does not include a non-operational or broken down lift -just
going up and down and up and down and up....Record
holder: Pete Roderick, London, EnglandDetails:
30 minutes - 'Paternoster' style lift - kept going 'over the top' July
1976

E4.Longest
Time on the LavatoryRequirements:
Any fully functioning lavatoryRecord
holder: Carl Grantham, Bakersfield, USADetails:
2 hours "I was reading the papers in there" December 2002

E5.Longest
Time with one or more Testicles on a Table SpoonRequirements:
Men only please - Have hours of fun balancing them on the spoon - you can
even go jogging
if you like - perhaps a future entry for our Track & Field section
- incidentally, the tecticlesin
question do still need to be attached to your personRecord
holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, EnglandDetails:
1 minute - There to be beaten (have since washed the spoon) January 2003

E6.Longest
Time with Someone Else's Testicles on a Table SpoonRequirements:
Open to men or women - please ensure you have their permission firstRecord
holder: openDetails:

E7.Longest
'Keepie-Up' with a Tennis BallRequirements:
Ball juggling - Keep the ball up using any part of the body other than
arms/hands (shoulder OK)Record
holder: Ronnie Ward, Dublin, IrelandDetails:
16 - December 2002

E8.Most
Dog Poop Trodden In in 1 DayRequirements:
Actively seek out piles of poop and jump in - bet you've never seen anyone
do that before - distinction for drawing peoples attention to your
actions and giving your foot a good old twist just to make sureRecord
holder: Jon Hewitt, Chippenham, EnglandDetails:
2 "Twice in one day - accidentally - does it count?" YES January
2003

E9.Longest
Time Wearing Only a Pair Of 'Y Fronts' (men only)Requirements:
One pair of 'Y Fronts' and one very stupid personRecord
holder: openDetails:

E12.Most
Holes Of Golf Played Without Using A Golf Club or BallRequirements:
Really wind people up with this one - must have a fully equipped golf bag
- place tee peg in the ground on the first hole, take an imaginary swing
at an imaginary ball, follow through with all the actions, admire or swear
loudly at the result, pick up the peg and march off to take your second
shot - continue as long as possible without being thown out or arrested
- must putt out on each hole. Distinction for shouting 'FORE!' to preceding
group on every 'shot'Record
holder: Alan Duckham & Paul Green, Greenford, EnglandDetails:
2 holes "Just to try it - excellent - does wonders to your handicap" January
2003

E14.Most
Tennis Balls Held - NakedRequirements:
Hold the tennis balls up off the ground without the aid of clothing or
outside assistanceclick
here for PICTURERecord
holder: Sarah Daykin, Leeds, EnglandDetails:
39 - on a very cold and wet rooftop in East London, many miles from home,
with builders looking on - April 2002

E15.Most
Regulation Soccer Balls Held - NakedRequirements:
Hold the soccer balls up off the ground without the aid of clothing or
outside assistanceRecord
holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, EnglandDetails:
7 - as a starter October 2002

E17.Longest
GargleRequirements:
Any liquid - intakes of breath through the nose are permitted (intakes
of breath through the mouth are not recommended)Record
holder: Quim Morales, Barcelona, SpainDetails:
18 seconds "Live, during our radio show EL ROSARI DE L'AURORA" June 2003MAGNIFICO!Previous
record holder: Jane Snedden, London, EnglandDetails:
17 seconds "Messy" March 2003

E18.Longest
Time with Finger Up NoseRequirements:
Anywhere, as long as it is verifyable (long fingernails not recommended)Record
holder: Mel Jackson, Washington DC, USADetails:
1 hour and 52 minutes "In a bar - makes your arm ache" February 2003

E20.Longest
Time Without A Wash/Shower/Bath/Shave/Teeth CleanRequirements:
No soap, deodorant or perfumed items to mask the stenchRecord
holder: Mick Brannah, Fremantle, AustraliaDetails:
75 hours (Driving and sleeping in the car) December 2002

E21.Longest
Game of Eye-SpyRequirements:
Pairs record (well you really couldn't play by yourself now, could you?)Record
holders: John & Alexandra Dudley, Cadeleigh, EnglandDetails:
50 minutes September 2002

E29.Longest
Time TwirlingRequirements:
Stand and spin - at least one revolution in one second pleaseRecord
holder: openDetails:

E30.Most
Mossie Bites in 1 NightRequirements:
Bites from mosquitos, midges etc - perhaps sitting semi-naked next to stagnant
water at night with a bright light in close proximity(WARNING
- to some people, this may seem odd - beware of men in white coats)Record
holder: James Gronin, Henley, EnglandDetails:
18 "One moonlit night by the Thames" July 2002

E32.Longest
Continuous Game of 'Slaps'Requirements:
(Pairs) Only to be attempted if you are familiar with the game - if played
properly, it probably won't last too long anyway - someone will be missing
skin from the backs of their handsContact
us for rulesRecord
holder: Jeff Moody & Gerry Carne, Brisbane, AustraliaDetails:
36 minutes "Hands hurt so bad, lost all sensation" January 2002

E33.Longest
Continuous Game of 'Knuckles'Requirements:
(Pairs) Only to be attempted if you are familiar with the game - if played
properly, it probably won't last too long anyway - someone will have a
broken bone in the back of their handContact
us for rulesRecord
holder: Jeff Moody & Gerry Carne, Brisbane, AustraliaDetails:
16 minutes "Forced to quit due recognition of imminent serious damage"
January 2002

E35.Longest
Time Continuous Listening to Fleetwood Mac 'Rumours'Requirements:
Although possibly one of the best albums ever recorded, how long would
it take to drive you crazy?Record
holder: Lana Rich, London, EnglandDetails:
7 hours and 42 minutes "Never going back again" March 2003

E37.Longest
'Wheelie' on a bicycle One-HandedRequirements:
Easy two-handed - not so with just one - second hand must not touch the
handlebars at all Record
holder: openDetails:

E38.Highest
Unsupported Tower of CoinsRequirements:
Any coins stacked one on top of the other - no supports - no glueRecord
holder: Ben Lowe, Pembroke, WalesDetails:
34 inches - January 2003

E39.Most
People on a Mountain BikeRequirements:
Mountain or All-Terrain bike - adapt it if you like - any size/age of personsMUST
BE ABLE TO PEDAL IT OVER A DISTANCE OF 25 METRESRecord
holder: openDetails:

E40.Longest
Time Playing 'Patience'Requirements:
Any patience game or games using playing cards or computer softwareRecord
holder: Terry Bray, London, EnglandDetails:
8 hours and 12 minutes "All night shift - honest" February 2003

E42.Longest
Time Hanging Upside Down from a TreeRequirements:
Generally bat-like features - or moronRecord
holder: Martin Jones, East Grinstead, EnglandDetails:
32 minutes "Headache" March 2003

E43.Biggest
LieRequirements:
Convince usRecord
holder: Shaun McCrae, New York City, USADetails:
"They found the other half of Kennedy's brain and transplanted it intomy
head - that's why it's so big"WELL,
WE BELIEVE HIM December 2002

E44.Furthest
Rolled Downhill in a Trash CanRequirements:
With trash in itRecord
holder: John Dekker, Cleveland, USADetails:
20 yards "With all kinda crap in there - hit a car" March 2003

E45.Most
People Pi$$ed Off in one GoRequirements:
Sky's the limit on this oneRecord
holder: openDetails:

E46.Longest
Time Floating on an Inflatable in a Swimming PoolRequirements:
Endless supply of CocktailsRecord
holder: Peter Delveccio, Indian Wells, USADetails:
9 hours and 33 minutes December 2002

E47.Most
Swear Words on a Scrabble BoardRequirements:
One standard set of lettersRecord
holder: Bart Scott, Sydney, AustraliaDetails:
22 "Some are pure Oz though and relate to various parts of a Sheila's anatomy"
March 2003

E48.Biggest
Wipe-Out (Skis, Snowboard, Surfboard, Skateboard)Requirements:
Distinction given for injuries to self or othersRecord
holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, EnglandDetails:
I'll take this one initially - breakneck speed on skis, hit unexpected
bump - total wipe out length some 50 metres, no injuries, but one ski tip
was bent upwards at an angle of around 45° - St Johann Im Pongau, Austria
January 1982

E49.Longest
Time Hanging from Anything by One ArmRequirements:
Feet off the ground, one arm supporting whole body weightRecord
holder: openDetails:

E50.
Longest
time wearing the same pair of underpantsRequirements:
Men only please - 'shorts' to you yanksRecord
holder: Willy Brunner, Dusseldorf, GermanyDetails:
5 days and 5 nights NOW KNOWN AS WILLY NO-MATES February 2003

E51.
Longest
time with cocktail umbrella up one's buttRequirements:
Umbrella must be fully openRecord
holder: openDetails:

E52.
Longest
time in a train lavatory without being thrown out by the guardRequirements:
Moving train in service pleaseRecord
holder: openDetails:

E53.
Furthest
distance in a train lavatory without being thrown out by the guardRequirements:
Moving train in service pleaseRecord
holder: openDetails:

E54.
Longest
time in an aircraft lavatory without being thrown out by the cabin attendantRequirements:
Airborne aircraftRecord
holder: openDetails:

E55.
Most
people 'air kissed' in 5 minutesRequirements:
Different people - 'kissing' both cheeks without actually making contact(distinction
for hugely exaggerated actions and accompanyingphrases
such as 'daahling' and 'sweetie')Record
holder: Joel Langdon, London, EnglandDetails:
27 "New Year's Eve" December 2002

E56.
Most
requests of station staff at Kings Cross, London for location of platform
9¾Requirements:
Strong resolve - distinction for pushing a trolley with an owl in a cage
and for
having a lightning shaped scar on your foreheadRecord
holder: openDetails:

E57.
Longest
time with entire contents of a perfume, eau de toillette or after shave
bottle tipped over oneselfRequirements:
Distinction for really strong smelling old lady type perfume(the
type they insist on wearing when 'going out', even in public swimming pools)
but any will qualifyRecord
holder: openDetails:

E58.
Most
press-ups into a bowl of custard in one minuteRequirements:
A washing-up bowl full of custard placed directly under the upper chest
and face of whoever is doing the press-ups. Face must be completely immersed
in the custard (up to ear level) on each press-up. Most in one minute.click
here for PICTURERecord
holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, EnglandDetails:
15 (gave up because this really is a completely ridiculous
record) - April 2003

E59.
Longest
time holding a pint of beer at arms lengthRequirements:
In the standing position, hold a full pint at arms length (straight out
at 90° to the body)Record
holder: openDetails:

E60.
Most
press-ups on top of partnerRequirements:
Partner (any sex) to lay on floor facing upwards - each press-up must include
kiss to the lips (facial)Record
holder: openDetails:

E61.
Most
farts 'taken to the head'Requirements:
Place your ear against the butt hole of the farter - take the full force
to the headGood
idea to line up a bunch of willing farters for this attemptand
work your way along - one fart every 30 seconds to qualifyRecord
holder: openDetails:

E62.
Longest
time spent fighting on a bouncy castle under the influence of alcoholRequirements:
Bouncy castle, booze and probably a bunch of students who really should
know betterProposed
by Ben 'Noel' GregoryRecord
holders: Ben Gregory, Mike Barlow, Judo James, Fake Steve, Tron, Wilma
Beast, Dickon and Mark Jeffery(University
of Bath Lacrosse club)Details:
2 hours and 30 minutes "21st birthday party. Got messy. Started off with
friendly fighting,ended
up with a royal rumble. My ribs hurt (even with all the beer)". June 2003

E63.
Longest
time watching re-runs of 'Eldorado' - the dodgy BBC soap set in SpainRequirements:
Anyone sad enough to have taped them in the first placeProposed
by Chris RockRecord
holder: (not surprisingly) openDetails:

Any
other suggestions for singing, watching or listening to anything will be
carefully considered