When I think of the alphabet, I think of sweet songs from my childhood:

Or maybe sweet songs from my post-childhood period:

But today, we’re here to talk about the Greek alphabet. It turns out that there are no cute songs about the Greek alphabet (at least not easily found), although I did find this:

Kind of catchy! Er… Anyway, the Greek alphabet can be used to write things in Greek, and it can also be used to classify human beings. The former usage is completely reasonable; the latter… Not so much.

By the way, I found a great new source of GIFs. By “great” I mean OMGICAN’TBELIEVETHESEGIFS! Here’s a wolf one:

:: SMOOTH SEGUE ::

In the comments of a discussion of a Red Piller’s assertion that all women are shit, a discussion of the alphabet breaks out.

Alpha, beta, etc…. It’s so bizarre. I mean, who thinks of people this way? Maybe if he stopped thinking of life as something that needed a rating system, he would find a nice girl and stop being so, yes, bitter and misogynistic.

Where would they get ideas of the p***y being a WMD? Just look at your posts on manboobz.com! For vicious, man-hating, vindictiveness, malice, and mean mindedness, a LOT of female posts here would indeed go far!

I’m still wondering when Futrelle is going to change the name of his blog here from manboobz to womenbeinghateful.com?

This is actually one of Meller’s more reasonable, less histrionic, comments. (Here’s a more typical example.) He even omitted his usual PEACE & FREEDOM!!! signoff. But note how he’s too prissy to type the word pussy.

This, combined with the original post, somehow segues into commenters talking about typing with their genitalia:

Pussy-typing is where my Vagina Dentata come in real handy. It makes it easier to hit individual keys in order to make words, as opposed to just sort of ramming my crotch into the keyboard, hoping for the best.

ive tried to start typing with my penis so i can stand in unity with the pussy typers. i find it easier to lay the keyboard on the floor and assume a push-up position over it. in the minus column i can’t figure out a way to leave one ball on the shift key to do caps and symbols. in the plus column i’m going to hAVE AN INCREDIBLY TONED UPPER BODY IN SHORT ORDER. damn capslock. i am not going back and fixing that my foreskin is exhausted

My dear little David! I do hope you do not include my gentle, loving, kindly, thoughtful and generous plan to put the men of the world under my solicitous boot-heel among your charges of “man-hating”!! As I have explained quite eloquently, I love men!!! I hate only “men,” those malicious and non-fluffy bearers of the John Thomas who mean-mindedly refuse to devote themselves to my service and pleasure!!!! There is nothing misandrist about hating such “men,” even though they comprise 100% of male humans currently walking the terrestrial sphere!!!!!

Ah, but things were different in the golden age now past!!!!!! I weep to think that I was born in this foul and corrupted epoch!!!!!!! Have you, David darling, ever stopped to shed a tear for the oppression I suffer from the dearth of fawning male slaveys in my kitchen and bed-chamber? Have you considered how much happier you would be if regularly and lovingly whipped by a kindly–

That’s funny, because you strike me as the type who’d body-paint himself entirely as a zebra and climb the Empire State Building while throwing increasingly dangerous-to-pedestrians pamphlets promoting homeopathy at the sidewalk, and other stuff I just completely made up.

I think I need to add “argument from what you would do, okay you haven’t, but I totally know you would” to the Shopworn Perennials.

Now climb the Empire State Building!

From there, the thread kind of devolves into some whining from a guy named Simon, and people trying to explain to him why you don’t get to have sex with people who don’t want to have sex with you. (Why is this still something we have to explain?)

Sadly, by which I mean opposite-of-sadly, we are no longer visited by Anthony Zarat, aka Antz, but he is still occasionally active over on Reddit and A Voice for Men. You can see a typical example of his subdued and subtle writing style here.

At WHTM, we can turn dross into gold– or Antz’ bombast into poetry.

All hail the hero Zarat,
Who nobly, selflessly fought
To rid future lands
Of the feminist plans
To forbid having sex with a bot.

Three cheers for the mighty Zarat!
He has foiled the femne-nasty’s plot!
Their misdeeds were thwarted
Before they even started,
Waylaid before the plan was thought!

It’s true that no feminist sought
To banish VR or its lot…
But we know what’s needed,
Anthony succeeded!
Huzzah for the psychic Zarat!

Mr. Antz’s
defunct
who used to
ride a virtual reality
sexbot
and break onetwothreefourfive feminists justlikethat
Jesus
he was a brave warrior for men
and what I want to know is
how do you like your blue-eyed boy
Mister Futrelle

Antsy,
free man’s fancy:
black and white
just like the night
of feminist souls
(sickly, not droll);
the bulldog who tore
through dread iron doors
of misandrist dogma
with canine kerygma,
honesty unbesmirched
and hard facts, with zeal researched.

My Mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun.
Coral is far more red than her lips’ red.
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
She is, after all, a feminist sexual slaver,
and for her looks gives no red rat’s behind.
I once went to the store and bought her a razor;
but, thinking twice, I knew she’d poke me blind.
I hate to hear her speak, yet well I know
that her jaunty skipping to the Court hath a far more loathsome sound;
I wish I had to Thailand for a FOREIGN BRIDE flown,
for my Mistress, when she walks, shakes the ground.
And yet, by heaven, I think VR as rare
as any FOREIGN BRIDE belied by false compare.

Relax, my friends, and let me tell a tale
Of lies, deceit, treachery and despair,
Of jealousy, of love of children fair,
But mostly of a certain bulldog’s fail.

Donned he his intellectual armor true.
Grabbed he his sharpened, battle-tested wit.
His metaphoric steed chomped at the bit,
And to the den of vipers swift he flew.
His mind was set on justice for the few
Who’d not exist for ’bout a hundred years.
His blade would work to wipe away their tears
of forced affections to their unjust rule.
Beware, for future woman scorns the love
That man may feel towards his virtual child,
So sex she prices ‘ccording to her whim.
The cries of Justice heard in skies above
As Zarat races onwards to the wild;
Delusion sadly shared only by him.

An MRA with the handle “El Rellok” proposes sending photos of bloody feathers to feminists as a … lesson, I guess? It’s a little confusing, even to other MRAs. We’re mocking it here. But as usual, I’m more concerned with the artistry featured in the WHTM comments section.

WHTM trolls often try to play “Gotcha!” with David, threatening to expose him in some way that will cause feminists to disown him, attack him, and feast on his liver. (Because feminists are naturally violent, of course!)

The MRA intellectual heavyweight Jason Gregory (@FunkyMunkyLuv) tried doing this on twitter, tweeting a blog post by some MRA dude who had found a smoking gun–in the form of a 1996 book review David wrote about Sharon Lamb’s The Trouble with Blame.

The way this anonymous MRA spun the review was, “When David Futrelle Claimed that Female Abuse Victims Should Take Responsibility for their Abuse.”

Wow, that doesn’t really sound like the David we know. Could it be true?

there are quotes from David from an article he wrote in a magazine in 1966, in which he reviews a book called The Trouble With Blame.

The damning stuff appears to be David quoting the book or paraphrasing the book’s arguments and “theantifeminist” assuming that means he agrees with it.

There is some stuff in the article I don’t really like, but I hardly think it’s anti-feminist. Plus, from everything David’s wrote here, his views seem to have changed since then. You can read it and judge for yourself:http://www.unz.org/Pub/InTheseTimes-1996jul22-00034

What a violent thrashing! Clearly at this point David has no alternative but to change his name, get a lawyer, delete his Facebook, and flee the country like a MRA trying to escape paying child support!

Oh wait, now that I’ve read it, Myoo’s not actually that hard on David at all. Just mildly critical.

Back on topic, that article? 18 years old. And for 18 years ago? Not that bad. Compared to the two he’s being compared to? *dies laughing*

Fuck, 18 years ago I was 10, so let’s go for 10 years ago, when I was just coming off my rabidly pro-life Christian shit, back when I was proud of refusing to study evolution. Yeah, I think I can give the shift in David’s view a pass. Not like he tried to kill his girlfriend and then wrote about it as a comparison to endangering a dog through idiocy.

Damn it! I was told that feminists just love turning on male interlopers for the smallest of crimes (like, as Argenti alludes to, Hugo Schwyzer trying to kill his girlfriend). Why aren’t we being more brutal? Is it possible we’re just toying with David, hoping to entrap him into making more incriminating statements, before we swoop in and false accuse him & railroad him into our feminazi-controlled prison system?

On that old article of mine, obviously theanitifeminist is misrepresenting it, like everything else of mine he’s dug up. That said, there are real issues with that particular piece, specifically the sometimes glib language and the the fact that I went along with some of the victim-blaming logic of the book I was reviewing. Obviously I wouldn’t write that article today. It was 18 years ago, and my beliefs have very definitely changed. I didn’t realize back then the extent and the absolute perniciousness of victim-blaming narratives.

The two points I was trying to make in that piece that I still think are worth making: 1) It’s important to be aware of the tendency of abusers to present themselves as victims. 2) Demanding that all victims be perfect human beings in every way in order to be considered true innocent victims — particularly if this means that they have to fit some arbitrary “moral code” — is itself a form of victim blaming. As we can see every time a rape survivor is attacked as a “slut.”

Now we’ve got him just where we want him. And just like clockwork (well-lubricated with the tears of betrayed male feminists), the Feminist High Council convenes a Star Chamber to try David in absentia.

I almost can’t bring myself to look at the aftermath of that! But let’s just read it, shall we?

Mr. Futrelle,

The Feminist High Council held an emergency Star Chamber session after learning about your potentially problematic review of the book “The Trouble With Blame” by Sharon Lamb. We were concerned that you may have failed to uphold all Radical Feminist Protocol and Language Requirements as per your Male Feminist Blog agreement with the FHC. As you know, failing to fulfill those requirements would force us to either censure, shut down and/or think bad thoughts about the FHC-approved website currently known as “We Hunted The Mammoth”.

We have studied the article in question and considered your explanation. In light of the article’s age and your outstanding service in our secret war for female supremacy and global male gendercide, we have decided to let you off with a warning and not suspend WHTM at this time.

However, you yourself have admitted that the article fails to take into account “the extent and the absolute perniciousness of victim-blaming narratives”. In light of this breech in protocol we, after much debate, have decided on a suitable punishment. We now personally scold you with a hearty “tsk-tsk” and order your cats to think poorly of you for a period lasting between 48-72 hours, depending on their feeding schedule and availability of desired snacks. We and your cats encourage you to about what you have done and what you can do better in service of radical feminism.

Yours In Sisterhood,
The Feminist High Council
A Secret Bunker, CA USA

I really wanted to make a post before I went away on vacation, but things have been really hectic. I have a great poetry slam to document when I get back, and I can’t wait. But I didn’t want to leave you with nothing, so there’s this: