Monday, May 26, 2008

When I look at this picture, I kind of feel like crying. This is my 5th child to graduate, almost my last one. That's sad to me. Then I look again and see that I was in good enough shape to GO to the graduation, and feel such GRATITUDE, and I want to cry again. There was a time a couple months ago when I questioned if I would even make it to graduation. I think I had it in my mind that I was going to be in bed almost 24/7. I feel so blessed that so far it hasn't been that way.Within an hour after taking this picture, I went and had my 4th chemo treatment and I didn't feel sick until 9 oclock that night. My sister came from Orem and since we have been to every grad nite for the other 4 kids, we had to go over and at least SEE it. It was 10:30 when we got there, and I was really feeling the nausea, but I felt much better just being able to see the setup. It was AWESOME, so much work from parents goes into that, and Jonny came away really happy with all kinds of prizes and about 80 dollars in cash.By Saturday morning, the nausea was gone, and I felt much better. The rest of the weekend was a little bit of a roller coaster with some nausea, some aches and pains, only a tiny bit of anxiety, and moments of feeling normal. It was great to have my sister and her family here, it made the weekend go by more smoothly.For Memorial day today, the family barbequed burgers and had a fun picnic lunch outside, but for some reason, the smoke made me VERY sick feeling. I couldn't eat any of it. Once they started the volleyball game outdoors, I felt good enough to watch. The weather felt great.I am trying to make myself read, something that is pretty foreign to me, but I know this is a perfect time to be gaining spiritual knowledge, so the one I have chosen to TRY and read is ,"Trusting Jesus", by Jeffrey Holland. It looks like it is all about trials and making it a blessing in your life. Perfect for me!! I will keep you updated on how my reading goes. Again thanks for your love and prayers, its making a difference.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I can't believe it, but I have survived 3 chemos already and it's time for #4!... #3 was a little bit harder on me than the first two, but I expected that. The jitters and anxiety was worse than the nausea or the muscle aches. I talked to the Dr. about it, and he said some of the nausea medicine has a side effect of anxiety....great......but he really doesn't want me to lose any weight (which I haven't), so he wants me to keep taking the nausea meds AND some more stuff to counteract the nausea stuff. I will try it this next time.

You can see from these photos that I spent a day or two in bed and the twins wanted to join me. They bring me a lot of joy and take my mind off my challenges. Overall though, I had more good days than bad, for which I feel VERY blessed .

Today is Thursday and I feel great. In preparation for treatment #4, I went to the temple and was able to do an endowment session (and my wig made me feel normal), then I went to my father-in-law's house and he and Dale gave me a blessing. I feel much better now about what I have to face this coming week. I then had to get my lab work done to make sure that my white cell count is back up to normal, which it is. Just like last time, the white cell count went down to almost zero, but another blessing, this one by Dale, Wayne, and Samuel, and it went right back up to higher than normal. Then I went shopping at Wal-Mart, which was scary, for my checking account. I haven't been shopping for so long, that I spent a little more money than usual. Tonight I feel good enough to enter some info on this blog.Thank you again for all your comments of love and encouragement, it is really sustaining me!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

She's sure looking good for 50, isn't she!! The above picture is from her birthday brunch with her sister, daughters, husband, and aunt Marilynn!Thursday, May 15, Karen celebrated her 50th birthday (against her wishes.) She wanted to pretend it wasn't her birthday, but we wouldn't allow it! We had a big family barbeque with several family members here from out of town. Krystal, Allie, and Kyla even surprised her and showed up. (Their family just moved to Springville from Florida.)

We decorated the house, notice the pictures of her when she was younger... And she got tons of wonderful gifts from friends and family. Kalia (Heather's baby, 8 months) loved the dirt,but Kyla (Krystal's baby, 11 months) found the real good stuff! She loved the cake.And Allie tuckered out on Grandpa Dale's lap.Happy Birthday Karen! We love you and are glad you are handling everything so well!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My mom had chemo #3 on Friday, May 9. Here is a picture of her and her buddy Paige Allred. They have a lot in common, Paiges mom made the hat and scarf that they are both wearing! cute aren't they? She felt really good on Friday, well enough to go to Jonnys soccer game for senior night. Saturday wasn't to bad either, she just had a little nausea and headaches. Sunday it got worse, but she made it to sacrament meeting then went home and had a nap. She woke up to a delicious mothers day dinner and gifts, and a homemade video. She couldn't eat much but really loved the video! Monday was probably the worst so far. She is experiencing a lot of anxiety for no reason in particular and pretty bad nausea. Today has been a little bit better. She made it around the park for a couple short walks. We are hoping that each day she will feel a little better, especially on Thursday. It's her birthday and so we hope she feels good enough to celebrate a little. Thanks again for all the love and support, it's sure helping my mom! - Tara Here she is at chemo, with a new home made quilt pieced together that a friend made her. She loves it and it keeps her warm during chemo.

Jonnys senior night. They made it to the playoffs Jonny had a pretty cool picture in the paper the next day! We are all very proud of him.

Friday, May 9, 2008

On Wednesday, May 7th, The family of Lee and Kim Esplin, (Dale's younger brother) decided to have as many family members as possible attend the temple together. I was overwhelmed with such a great idea, and I was hoping I would feel well enough to attend with them, which miraculously I did. I was nervous that my wig would fall off when I had to change clothes, etc., but all went well. There were 4 family members that attended the 6:00 session, and 15 more that attended at 8:00, and that's who is in this picture. When I asked whose idea it was, I got teared up to learn that it was my 28 yr. old niece, Andrea Esplin Heaton. I had told her that I had an experience where the spirit told me that ANY temple service will bless me, and the temple service doesn't just need to be done by me, but anyone that loves me, even 12 yrs old and up.

What a way to help me. So if any one out there is praying for me, the spirit says go do some temple service and it will bless my life, not to mention yours, and the deceased person too! ...............Very tricky!! ....................19 endowments done that night.....wow......Love you all and THANK YOU family for your support, I am choked up thinking about itl

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I have been feeling so good, that it is hard to believe that anything could be wrong with my blood. When they told me about my WHITE blood cells, they forgot to say anything about my RED, so I spent the weekend trying to mentally charge up the white ones. On Sunday evening, I had a priesthood blessing, and Monday I had another lab test to see how they were. They told me that my original numbers were 0.9, ( I was a little off, I thought it was like 0.1 ), and that I needed to get above 3.0 to be considered NOT NEUTROPENIC, (where you use precautions for germs). The normal range for any of us is 3.6 to 10.6. Well, on Monday mine was .....................are you ready for this?.........12.3.................... WOW, ...........it was a miracle for me. They then told me that my red cells were still low (as if I knew they were EVER low), and I needed a shot called "aeronesp" and that would fix that. From what I know about low hematocrit and low hemoglobin, you should be lethargic, and not have much energy. I have had plenty of energy, so I had to doubt that this test could be right. They proved it to me with a copy of my lab report. What does this tell me? Once again, I am being SO SO blessed. You guys out there have an incredible amount of pull with Heaven, Thank you for helping me out with your prayers. I really have got to be a good girl from now on after getting so blessed. Remind me of this when I get a little too sassy.Tara is coming with me to chemo on Friday, and she will do some scrapbooking while I talk, and talk, and talk..........to anyone who will listen.............;)Tara is going to take pics at the chemo on Friday and we'll post them so you can see what it looks like at the chemo place. My new friend , Paige will be there and we'll get a picture of her too. She's the one that we told you about. She is 28, and found a lump while she was pregnant. She had 3 little children, one being 5 wks old. She is positive and sweet, and I am thankful to have chemo the same day as her.Thank you for all the sweet comments, I get up every morning, and look forward to see if any one has sent me a message, I just wish I could respond back to you.................know that there is a smile on my face, and a tear running down my cheek when I read what you 've written to me.Love you all!!!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Well tonight was the night. We shaved my mom's hair off and she didn't even cry! She did a great job with the whole process. Kimmy started off shaving it, but was kind of having a hard time so i took over. I actually think she looks really good! It was definitly a different expierence, I never in my life thought that i would ever have to shave my moms hair. Anyways she is feeling pretty good, she will go in on Monday to have her blood taken to see if her white blodd cell count is up. We are hoping for the best, but the good thing is she is feeling pretty good!

Friday, May 2, 2008

I intend to put a few more pictures on here, but Tara has to be here to help me, so later I will post a picture of my hair, what's left of it, a pic of Kimmy buzzing my hair, and a pic of the new wig that I wore to the DR today. I thought I was doing fantastic until I had my blood drawn yesterday, and my whited blood cell count was zero. The nurse called me on my cell phone to tell me to go home and get away from everyone that could make me sick. I was at Costco , thinking how cool I was to be feeling so good. I had woken up yesterday with a sore throat but didn't know if it was related to the chemo. I saw the Doc today and he said it's like canker sores throughout my mouth. He told me to take pain medication and he gave me a Rx for 'Magic Mouthwash' that you swallow, and it numbs up the throat, and has an antifungal in it. I decided to come home and take a nap, the first time in weeks that I was able to do that. But tonight, I am going to a SOCCER Game, for Jonny, and I am going to wear my wig. Outdoor games are fine, because of the open air. Doctor Lemon even said I could go to Sat. night conference if I sat in the back, and don't touch everyone. That's hard for me, but I would rather do that, than sit home and miss the best conference session of all (Sat night)I was getting positive vibes today from the doctor, so that really made my day! And I think I am totally ready to shave my head.............we'll let you know tomorrow. PS Tara is going to put a picture on here of the twins in two of my long curly wigs, so stay tuned!!