Hold The Cheese: Pizza Ordering Vibrator Doesn’t Exist Yet

[At a time when fake news, fake porn and fake body parts are all around us, Calico says it’s important to consider your sources where sensational and fantastic claims are concerned. Did you hear about a UFO crash from some trashy British tabloid, or a respected publication like the Weekly World News, for example? Is it your wacky hippie uncle saying the government is using “chemtrails” to control people’s minds, or was it your far more credible survivalist uncle who lives in a log cabin in a remote area of Wyoming? Now, more than ever, such details matter.

These considerations are also the source of Calico’s skepticism concerning the announcement of an amazing new product, which comes a few months before the product will (supposedly) become available. Read all about it in her latest post “Hold The Cheese: Pizza-Ordering Vibrator Doesn’t Exist Yet”]

For example, if you hear about an alleged UFO crash in Russia, it makes a huge difference whether the report comes from a sketchy tabloid site like Express.co.uk, or an established, mainstream, long-running, reputable, presumably multiple Pulitzer award-winning publication like The Weekly World News.

Sadly, the answer to the above question has only deepened my doubts that I’ll be enjoying a post-orgasm mushroom and pepperoni pie any time soon.

Cumming Soon To An Adult Shop And/Or Pizza Parlor Near Me?

As it turns out, the company behind the pizza-ordering vibrator isn’t a pleasure products manufacturer at all; it’s CamSoda, an adult webcam site which has something of a checkered past when it comes to making false claims to generate publicity. (More on that in a minute.)

According to CamSoda’s goofy-photo-filled press release, the pizza ordering vibrator “is made possible with an internet programmable Bluetooth button (similar to the Amazon Dash Button) designed to fit on a Lovense Nora vibrator.”

“The button has payment/delivery and order information, which is programmed into it at the time of purchase and connects to Domino’s through its pizza-ordering API,” the release continues. “When a user is done ‘using’ the vibrator, they push the button, which places a delivery order for a large cheese pizza.”

In addition to the curious use of air-quotes around the word “using,” the above paragraph sticks out for its use of the present tense, broadly implying this RubGrub button is a product which already exist and is available on the market. But the press release offers no purchase link and no details as to where the button can be acquired – although it does offer a price, both for the button alone ($19.95) and a bundle ($119.95) in which you’d buy the button and the Lovense vibrator with which it’s allegedly compatible.

According to HuffPo’s article about the RubGrub, the device is “currently in the final stages of development” and the company’s vice president “expects it will be available for purchase in a few months.”

Hmmm. While I’d love to take the CamSoda VP’s word on this, the fact the GrubRub sounds like an existing product in the press release, but hasn’t made it through the production process, brings us back around to the credibility of the source.

Let Me Guess: Next It Will Offer The Ability To Order Shark Fin Soup?

If the name CamSoda rings a bell, it may be because last year, a video purporting to show one of the company’s cam performers being bitten by a shark went viral, only to be exposed as a fake.

To be fair, creating a device like RubGrub using Domino’s public API, as CamSoda claims to have done wouldn’t be a stretch for a company with competent developers, so maybe it will be only a matter of time before what is now just a promotion becomes an actual product.

If so, the company is also promising the RubGrub will soon offer the ability to order more than just pizza, with plans to incorporate “additional restaurant chains, including those serving Mexican and Chinese food.”

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original porn site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite. Calico’s work has appeared under various pen names in adult industry trade journals and on several mainstream op-ed portals, including the Huffington Post.

Married to a Ghost – It seems like nothing is forever in this world. One day, you can be the apple of someone’s eye, the next they’re kicking you to the curb like you’re a soccer ball made of trash and evil. As it turns out, not even a love so strong it defies the […] More

There are typos and then there are OMG, WTF, LMAO typos — the kind of mistakes which can end jobs if the bosses in question are sufficiently unforgiving. You know where I’m going with this: Yes to THAT typo, the one about Julia Roberts and all the things in her life which are only getting […] More

In Calico’s estimation, it’s one thing to be a jerk, but quite another to be cliche jerk. Being unoriginal simply exacerbates and enhances your jerkishness in the most obvious of ways. For example, if you’re going to insult a person whose last name is “Hart,” and you immediately think to hit them with a zinger […] More

If you’ve ever found yourself sitting around with friends trading tales of woe, whether it was about awful first dates, terrible travel experiences or embarrassing moments in the workplace, you may have had one friend whose stories always seem to top everyone else. That friend is not Calico, whose wildest, dumbest and most harrowing […] More

Men are well-known for exaggerating their sexual exploits. From the guys you knew back in high school who boasted about (usually imaginary) out-of-state girlfriends they hooked up with over the summer, to some of the most famous men on the planet, overstating the number of sexual encounters and different partners they’ve had is so common […] More

Like most of us, Calico loves reading a good, weird nakedness news story. Whether it’s about random people humping cars, Doritos-based police techniques for rounding up escaped livestock, or people solving the Rubik’s cube while underwater, she’s always up for some timely strangeness. This week, Calico got two true treats on the weird-news-involving-nakedness (and/or half-nakedness) […] More

Don't Miss

Welcome To Erotic Scribes!

If you enjoy a fun and educational approach to sexuality then Erotic Scribes is sure to please. No boring, dry articles here. From Passionate Sex to Smart Porn, the news, articles and opinions on sex-related topics are interesting and entertaining. And the erotic videos and sex toy reviews are designed to enlighten and entertain.

And because Erotic Scribes is designed for women, there's a range of information from mild to wild suited for your individual preference. So check us out, and be amazed at some of the features designed to excite, educate and possibly even surprise you.

Erotic Scribes is the free news and information site published by Sssh.com, the web's destination place for erotica for women, by women.

The views in our op-eds, and news commentary do not necessarily reflect the views of Sssh.Com, its owners or staff and are solely the opinions of the contributing authors & journalists.

Feeling Kinky?

Trending Now

Married to a Ghost – It seems like nothing is forever in this world. One day, you can be the apple of someone’s eye, the next they’re kicking you to the curb like you’re a soccer ball made of trash and evil. As it turns out, not even a love so strong it defies the […] More