Now That It's Legal ... Who is Getting Married in South Africa?

Lindiwe Radebe and Bathini Dambuza are from Soweto, have been engaged for a year, and, hope to be among the first to take advantage of the Civil Unions Bill. "For some people marriage means nothing, it is just a piece of paper," says Radebe (right, short hair). "But, we want that symbolism of having a legally binding document of our love."

Another couple, Mpumi Mathabela and Asanda Mjobo, planned to tie the knot regardless of the decision. "Not necessarily in a year, but as soon as we're ready. Maybe in two years, maybe less," says Mpumi (right).

Mpumi is an activist and says both of their families are quite accepting, apparently major factors in their decisions. However, some African gays say they will not wed because there is too much homophobia within their churches and families. From the BBC: "The church does not recognise their union. And for many gay couples, the problem is that they want to be wed with the blessing of their church."

If a church blessing is that important and their congregation will never allow it—and many churches in South Africa will grant them—some couples will never take this step. That's the exact same frustration expressed by some black gays and lesbians in this country—even though we don't have their options.

Comments

I say, if you know you are gay and always was and always will be--then why hold off on marriage because your church says its wrong?

What kinda bullshit is that? If the church disagrees then the church is wrong. I hate homos who make excusions for the tyranny of the church. Get some backbone.

Screw those who disagree. The chuch included. Remember, those who profess to close to God are in fact right down here with the rest of us.

But I saw a recent documentary on LOGO about South African lesbians and their history of rape violence. Sadly it seems these women have other deeper issues to be concerned about at the moment. Maybe rushing into 'unholy matrimony' shouldn't be their first order of business.

I'm really happy to see that S.A has approved Same-sex marriage..It's a premiere on the continent and I hope that this makes other african countries thinking about going in the same direction...Currently in my country of origin (Burundi)it is still a big taboo and I know that only we gays and lesbians from those countries can change things....

One of the reasons why LGBT/SGL people are so well treated in South Africa is that many were involved in the struggle against apartheid, and showed that they were concerned with more than just their one issue. In some ways, the progressive stance of the South African government is a 'thank you' to those who helped overthrow the former racist regeime. It will be interesting to see what happens 'on the ground' to the average man and woman on the street after this extention of legal protection

It makes sense to me that Black South Africans would not want to marry unless they can do so in church. I believe all Gay people have an inherent connection to God and Heaven . . . it explains why we proliferate inside churches that utterly despise us . . . and African people tend to be more in touch with their spirituality. The vows simply would not seem valid if they couldn't declare them in the house of God before a minister of the Gospel. Civil marriage just isn't sufficient in their minds. I see their point, and am pretty much in agreement with it.

Society as a whole will always look askance at Lesbian and Gay marriage if it can only be performed in civil settings; it'll quickly come to be stigmatized as "unGodly" marriage (and we all know who'll be doing the stigmatizing). As difficult as it will be to achieve, our ultimate goal MUST be church marriages. Otherwise, there's just an illusion of equality.

However, if a church exists within their particular denomination that will marry them , I don't think it makes sense for African Gay people to hold off on weddings. If the churches they attend disapprove of Gay marriage, then they undoubtedly disapprove of Gay people as well, in which case they need to seriously consider finding a different church home . . . whether or not they can get married there is really the least of their concerns! Unfortunately, so many Black people, in Africa and in the USA, seem joined at the hip to heterosexist congregations just because of growing up in them.