Category: Chosen and Approved Series

We are in part six—our final installment—of the series, Chosen and Approved: Untangling Our Identities from People and Perfection.Emily Conrad, Mary Geisen, and I are still works-in-progress, learning to find our identities and value in Jesus alone.

We’ve so enjoyed walking this journey with you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and stories with us!

If you’ve missed any of the posts in this series, you can find them all here: Chosen and Approved.

This week, Emily Conrad writes:

“My sister and I took stock of the inventory, and my sister made her choice: a mechanical dog about ten inches tall with soft white fur. It walked on a leash, barked, and did back flips.

When I declared that I wanted the same thing, my aunt tried to gently talk me out of it. Wouldn’t I prefer a horse? Because, after all, I loved everything to do with horses. I read books about them, collected Breyer horses, drew them, used them in imaginary play. Everything was about horses.

But I passed up all the pretty horses in that store to get what my sister was getting.”

As I read Emily’s story from her girlhood, I thought back to how many times I’ve chosen others’ preferences over mine . . . all in the name of being accepted. It’s taken me decades to realize that what I like—my preferences—have value because I am valued. By God and others.

When my hubs and I began dating, I had this “ability” to select whatever he was picking to eat for dinner at restaurants. He finally called me on it and assured me that I could—and should—pick what I wanted to eat. It was such a small thing, but it took me awhile to become comfortable with selecting the entree that sounded the tastiest to me.

I’ve also found myself picking what the other person picks because I didn’t want to feel left out, or I didn’t want to be thought of as lacking in some way. I didn’t want what I desired to be thought of as “not as good as” another person’s. Crazy, I know.

When we can find the confidence to embrace the unique preferences God has given us, we can live in freedom. We are no longer tied down by trying to fit in, or trying to not stand out.

We are in part five of the series, Chosen and Approved: Untangling Our Identities from People and Perfection. Emily Conrad, Mary Geisen, and I are still works-in-progress, learning to find our identities and value in Jesus alone. We’d love for you to join us each Tuesday through November 8th and share your journey with us.

This week, Mary Geisen writes:

“the world paints lies with just enough detail to resemble your outline and you visibly shrink against the portrait wishing for so much more.”

These words caught me, because I’ve been the girl she describes. I look at the outline of the world’s lies, or incomplete truths, and I take that as gospel. And I wish for so much more than the picture painted.

So many voices vie for our attention, don’t they? The world, shouting its messages of what we should look like, what we should do, who we should be . . .

There are those messages in our own minds . . . the ones that tell us how we have failed, not lived up to others’ expectations (or our own).

If you’re at all like me, it gets kind of noisy inside our heads sometimes. All those words, spoken in condemning, demanding tones of voice (that sound suspiciously like our own).

How do we filter out the messages? How do we know what we should be listening to? How do we know which of the voices trying to define our identities is accurate?

As Mary says, the world and our own voices often paint an incomplete silhouette of all God has created us to be. We can be discouraged with the often skewed incomplete picture, or we can learn truth that helps us to know which voice we need to listen to.

This week, Mary’s post speaks firm yet gentle truth to a spirit that is weary of trying to figure out what—or who—defines our identity. Join me as I click over to her site to read the rest of her encouraging, uplifting words.

Today we continue our series on Chosen and Approved: Untangling Our Identities From People and Perfection, with Emily Conrad, Mary Geisen, and myself. We’ll be sharing posts on Tuesdays through November 8th. To read previously published posts, click here.

He slid into the car, a storm cloud parking itself over his head on an otherwise sunny afternoon.

“How was your day?” My usual first question.

“Bad.” He crossed his arms. “Really bad.”

Something told me to wait rather than dive into dissecting his day with him.

Welcome to part three of our six-post series, Chosen and Approved: Untangling Our Identities from People and Perfection, with Emily Conrad, Mary Geisen and me.

This week, Emily shares all about King David . . . and his failings . . . and how God called him a man after His heart. How did David manage that?

When I read this:

The people-pleaser in me would have a hard time praying the same prayer as David. That part of me would demand I focus more energy on rectifying the situation with people than with God.

I nodded my head at the idea that I needed to focus my energy on rectifying situations with people before I did so with God.

How off-base I have been at times, because I was so afraid to offend people. God forgives, right? But people? Not always.

So, of course, I needed to make sure I fixed any offenses I’d caused.

God does forgive. And He invites us into relationship with Him. He tells us to set Him above anyone and anything else. This isn’t as easy for me as it should be. And those people-pleasing mindsets I’ve held to for years die hard.

In her post, Emily shares some great insight into the mindset of a God-pleaser. I hope you’ll read and glean as much as I have.

“Mirrors never lie.The world’s reality is the best reality. Others perceptions are always spot on.Social media speaks the truth at all times.”

When I read these words, my heart remembered the many times I’ve believed and made decisions based on one or more of these lies.

I’ve been the one caught up in believing another’s perspective about me had more validity than my own perspective. In my younger years, I lived as if the world’s reality was the best reality.

Because in my heart, I didn’t see my own reflection as valid. I was certain the world knew best what I should reflect, what I should look like . . . right?

The problem is, those sentences? They’re all lies. And my friend, Mary Geisen , goes on in her wisdom-filled blog to help us understand that there’s more to us than what the physical mirror reflects.

I am honored to partner with Emily Conrad and Mary Geisen in this series: Chosen and Approved: Untangling Our Identities from People and Perfection. The three of us are still works-in-progress, learning to find our identities and value in Jesus alone. We’d love for you to join us each Tuesday through November 8th and share your journey with us.

I am honored to kick off a blog series with two writers I truly respect: Emily Conrad and Mary Geisen. Over the next six weeks, the three of us will take turns sharing on our series called— Chosen and Approved: Untangling Our Identities from People and Perfection. This series resonates with my heart—both because of what I’m learning about my identity and how insecurity affects it, and because I suspect others also struggle with knowing who they really are. It is my hope that this series will minister and speak life-giving truths to all who read the posts.

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If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you know I’ve been a people-pleasing girl for most of my life.

I’m not proud of this.

Peer-rejection does crooked things to a young girl’s heart. It leaves her craving acceptance and approval . . . to the exclusion (and the erasure) of learning how to be herself. Who God created her to be.

Jeanne Takenaka writes contemporary inspirational fiction that deals with real life issues with a heart to draw women closer to God and to those around them. She is wife to one amazing man who is her real life hero, and mother to two exuberant boys who hope to one day have a dog of their own. She loves being God’s girl always learning about His grace, hanging out with friends and enjoying a great cup of coffee. She and her family live near the mountains in Colorado. She is a member of ACFW and My Book Therapy Voices.

POSTING SCHEDULE:
Each Tuesday and most Fridays I post on topics relating to life, relationships and those passions held in hearts and lived out each day.

All written content and photographs are property of Jeanne Takenaka, unless otherwise attributed, and are protected by copyright.