Tuesday, June 13, 2017

I'm the sea mammal

MK: Awwww.{Momma gives Bear ear rubs}MK: I love you, Bear. I always have time to show you how much ...{CHOMP!!! - Bear bites Momma}MK: Son of a ... OWWWWWW!BC: I'm the shark, Momma!The Boy: FINALLY! It's about time he played, "I'm the shark," with YOU!BC: Naaaah NAH. Naaaah NAH. N-AH N-AH N-AH ...The Boy: Ummmm ... {running for the front door} I'LL BE WAITING OUTSIDE!{The front door slams shut}BC: SHEESH! You bite a boy just a tiny bit and he gets all put out over it! What's his problem?MK: Maybe he just doesn't like playing, "I'm the sea mammal."BC: Where are you going anyway?MK: PetSmart.BC: Wait a ... you ARE taking The Boy back, right?MK: Well, I don't know about, "back." I mean he didn't go with me last time. But, yeah. Why would he stay home?BC: Ooooooh! Happy day! Happy day! BYE! The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll get home! Me and you! You and me! So happy to-GETH-er! Together for-EV-er!

BC: {To the tune of, "Happy," from Pharrell Williams}

It might seem crazy what I'm about to say.Sunshine she's here, you can take a break.I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space.I am Bear, and I don't care, Momma, by the way.(Because I'm happy)Paw along if you feel like a room without a roof.(Because I'm happy)Paw along if you feel like happiness is the truth.(Because I'm happy)Paw along if you know what happiness is to you.(Because I'm happy)Paw along if you feel like that's what you wanna do.MK: Bye, Bear.BC: How RUDE! I was in the middle of my song! You don't just get up in the middle of a performance, do you? Talk about no resp ...{The front door closes}BC: RATS! Where's that sheet of paper I used to write down all the bad words and phrases Momma says?!?! I could use the whole list! HOW RUDE!

{Pause}BC: She IS taking him back though ...{Pause}BC: {To the tune of, "Happy," by Pharrell Williams}Here comes The Boy, talking this and that. (Yeah!)He gives me all he's got, doesn't hold back. (Yeah!)Well, I should probably warn him, I'll be just fine. (Yeah!)No offense to him, he wastes his time, here's why ...(Because I'm happy)Paw along if you feel like a room without a roof.(Because I'm happy)Paw along if you feel like happiness is the truth.(Because I'm happy)Paw along if you know what happiness is to you.(Because I'm happy)Paw along if you feel like that's what you wanna do.Bring me down,Can't no boy bring me down.My level's too high to bring me down.Can't no boy bring me down, I said ...Bring me down,Can't no boy bring me down.My level's too high to bring me down.Can't no boy bring me down, I said ...{Pause}BC: Wait a ... THEY'RE GONE!!! I'M ALONE WITH THE BLOGPAWS SWAG!!! I can explore the swag, check out what Momma's hiding in there, AND get out my new favorite wand toy!

{Pause}

BC: WHAT IF THERE ARE TASTY WHOLE CHICKENS in one of those bags?!?!?{Bear jumps on the coffee table the swag is stacked on ... noses around a bit ...}{Bear looks one way ... then looks the other way ... }BC: Yep. No one's here to see a thing! Hehehehehehehe.{Pause}BC: Time to get to work! CAT-A-BUNGA!{Pause}BC: First order of business ... now where did Momma hide my new wand toy?{Pause}BC: {to the tune of, "Heigh-Ho," sung by the seven dwarfs in Snow White}Heigh Ho Heigh Ho, It's Off To Work I Go!!I dig dig dig dig dig dig dig, In the bags the whole day through,To dig for treats and toys and fun,This is what I must do.It ain't no trick to get rich quick,If you dig dig dig let your nose and paw pick,In this bag! In that bag! In any bag!

Prizes to be found in my swag!

{Pause}

BC: AHA! My wand toy!!! Now how am I going to get this out of the bag?!?!

{Pause}{Bear bats the packaged wand toy around}BC: I have a ... hehehehehehe ... this is totally going to work!!! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-YAH!{Fast forward to the time Momma walks in the front door}BC: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! There are way too many things wrong with this picture!MK: What?BC: You exchanged The Boy for a black cat!!!MK: What?BC: You have black fur all over you! {GASP} You cheated on me!!!! And you're bringing the trollop here!MK: Bear ...BC: I can't believe you exchanged The Boy for a cat! I was so glad you were finally getting rid of him ... and you think another CAT is better!MK: Wait ... I didn't bring home a cat! And The Boy is outside moving his car!BC: You said you were returning The Boy to PetSmart!MK: No, I didn't! You asked if he was coming with me. BC: I asked you if you were taking him back!MK: Ooooooh. He didn't come from PetSmart!BC: That's debatable. Though I suppose him coming from a smelly rear end is more likely!MK: BEAR! Be nic ... BC: {narrowing his eyes} Then why are you covered in black fur?!?!MK: We went to PetSmart for their, "All About Cats," day and I saw a black cat that really wanted to be petted. Of all the rescue cats in the glassed in kennels, she and I saw something in each other. It's like we already knew each other.BC: Oh, NONONONONONONONO. HEEEEEEEEELLLLL NO! You told people that's what happened between you and I! First, I have to put up and share you with dumbnuts ... and now you want to get another cat?MK: The cat is a she!BC: I DON'T ... oooooh. {Pause}BC: Hmmmm. {Pause}BC: NO!!!MK: BEAR! Where did this mess come from?

BC: The Boy did it!

MK: Not likely, Bear. He was with me.BC: THE WAND TOY STARTED IT!MK: A wand toy IN THE PACKAGE, buried under a bunch of other stuff in a bag started it?BC: It was mocking me! I can't tolerate that kind of disrespect! What if my other toys get IDEAS?!MK: Bear, you know you're not allowed to play with wand toys when I'm not home.BC: It's not MY fault you weren't home!MK: I've got to get pictures of this!BC: Phht. Like you've never seen a mess before!MK: So why are the stuffed puppies on the floor?BC: Phht. They were guarding the miscreant. OBVIOUSLY. I had to open my can of furry fury whoop-@$$ on them.MK: I don't feel so bad for cuddling another kitty after this mess you made while I was gone.BC: Wait, wait, wait wait wait! CUDDLING?!?! I thought you just PETTED IT! But you CUDDLED it?!?!?The Boy: {walking in the front door} Did you tell him about Ellie?BC: WHAT?!?!? Who's Ellie?!?!{Pause}BC: {GASP} You petted that black cat too! I see the fur all over your shirt too!!!The Boy: You don't even LIKE me!BC: So?!?

MK: You were begging me to return him just a few minutes ago!The Boy: So what if I held another kitty?BC: HELD HER?!?!?! You're MINE! MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!! You're MY sea mammal!The Boy: Your Momma held her for even longer than I did.MK: Uh oh.BC: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?MK: {changing the subject} LOOK! I got you samples of food at PetSmart as part of their, "All About Cats," day.BC: WHAT?!?! Did you say, "FOOD?!?!"

The Boy: Don't get too excited, Bear. MOST of it is pate.

BC: WHAT?!?!

MK: {to The Boy} You're doing that on purpose!

The Boy: Better you than me!

MK: Thanks.

{Pause}

MK: {to Bear} There wasn't another choice in those sample items!

The Boy: I'm hungry.

BC: You're welcome to have the, "there wasn't another choice in those sample items," pate! The Boy: No, thank you. I'm starving.BC: Now you understand how I am ALL the time! Momma's trying to starve us!

MK: {from the kitchen} Want the leftover chicken?

{The Boy and Bear say, "YES!!!!" at the same time}

{Ten minutes pass until the chicken is ready}

The Boy: Thank you, honey.

MK: You're ...

BC: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

MK: Bear, stop pestering him.

BC: But I want chicken!

The Boy: I'm the only one that shares food with you. You could try to like me.

BC: I DO try to like you! It's not my fault that I can't! And besides, I offered you some of my food!The Boy: {sigh} Good enough. Here. You should remember this next time you feel like hissing at me.

This post was not sponsored by, or affiliated in any way with, PetSmart. I shared the PetSmart, "All About Cats," day because I appreciate that PetSmart celebrated our wonderful felines. As many cat bloggers know, people tend to spend less money on their cats - and it's reflected in what the majority of pet supply stores stock; we hope a day celebrating our amazing kitties is just the beginning of a change in the way people see, value, and care for their cats.

Featured posts of the day:

You may find Bear's game of, "I'm the shark," explained in ... I'm the shark.

56 comments:

Bear, we were so happy to get another concert from you! You are quite the musical star. Also, did you know that Evan used to be a shark, too? I met him when he was a semi-feral kitten (not that you're any semblance of feral, sweet Bear!), and he took his shark attack roles very seriously. Now, run, Boy, run!

Hiya Bear...How are you today? Looks like you had an outer body experience forgetting not to gnaw on humans. MOL it happens to all of us.::Blushing and smiling:: over you comment on my tail. I'm quite proud of it. I walk around with it like this ? 24/7Hugs madi your bfff

I'm glad your momma (and the Boy) were able to go to the special PetSmart day. I wish I could've gone to one but I was traveling back. But how dare she met and cuddle with another cat! But...what if it had been a tortie? Would that have been acceptable?

Hey Bear,Alberto here, love your songs and I have to say, I like your shopping bag purrrusal style. I too like to destroy plastic first and then give a cursory glance to the toys the humans bring us. It's quite entertaining!Purrs & Head Bonks

Excellent, you are clearly a master of tactical planning and gamesmanship! Keep 'em guessing is what I say, and in my game that seems quite fair. I tried to premedicate my peep alas peep just fell asleep, and not even I can raise that much flubber from the bed for a game of tag. MOLPurrs ERinPS About this Ellie, does she come with a selection of toys, food, and nip?

A whole kitty event? MeOW Wish we had one of those. Altho' we don't like pate either, so we purrobably wouldn't have enjoyed it too much. As fur pettin' da kitties, maybe we could'a had a play date. Dat sounds like fun. Bear, ya' know, sometimes havin' a sisfur can be fun. You fur sure could'a blamed da mess on her. MOL big hugs

You were left alone with BlogPaws swag AND a wand toy?? What were you supposed to do - ignore those lovelies and pretend you didn't know they were there. You are a cat - it's your duty to explore, hunt, and do what you want.

I love whole chickens, too, but I didn't find any in my swag bag. Did you Bear? I think our Moms ate them all up! That sounds like something they'd do. You'll love the Temptations treats your momma brought home from Petsmart. I find them delicious, though come to think of it, Mom hasn't bought me some in a long while. I've instructed her to go the pet store today! I love your songs Bear! I was singing along with you... "Paw along if you feel...dah dah dah da da..." I think you have a potential series: 'Shark Bear & the Sea Mammal!' Head rubs!