Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Maturity

I'm a good bit more mature than people who don't know me extremely well believe.Now don't get me wrong. I'm not 100% perfectly mature and sensible all the time. I'm a big believer that there's nothing wrong with hanging out with your buddies acting stupid. It's a great way to blow off steam.But for the most part, I'm very mature for my age.I skipped over many phases guys my age go through. I was never rebellious. I never thought I was smarter than my parents. I never let my penis do my thinking for me. Never wanted to fuck everything in the room. Never wanted to go out and party. Never drank. Never had that sudden burst of independence that a lot of people have.I like to say that I went from 16 to 47. I skipped all the years in between. I mean, even my music tastes reflect that.My big year was my junior year in high school. I grew up so much that year and became the person that I am today. I know I've got some younger people that read my stuff and if you don't yet know what I'm talking about you will soon.I was very immature up until then. When I think about myself before my junior year I wanna kick my ass. That's the year I learned how to be funny without being an idiot. I learned how to make fun of myself before anyone could make fun of me. I grew up immensely and I look back on that year with more fondness than all others.I dunno why but I've been quite insightful lately. Jotting down ideas of various things to write about. And this keeps jumping out at me.I'm still continually maturing. I've noticed lately that I've pretty much completely stopped saying stuff like "that's so gay". No real reason. I've just stopped saying it. And I think that's just me maturing even more.I'm at a pretty big age and while I'm still pretty young I continually reflect on my life. I'm not gonna get too personal here because you guys don't read for me to go on and on about my personal life. (Not that there's anything wrong with writing journals about that.)But of all the regrets that I have, the things I look back on and cringe when I think about. The things I hate to think about, I'll always be happy and proud of the fact that I was continually more mature than the people surrounding me, even if they didn't think it.But, if I may lift a RvB line, my mind is just about more filled with memory than it is with hope. That may have something to do with my maturity. I've experienced enough heartbreak and bad happenings in my life that I had no choice but to mature to keep my sanity.Now don't get me wrong, I've in no way had a bad life. I've just had bad stretches.so for you young guys reading this your day will come, if it hasn't already. You will have your epiphany like I did and who you are will change for the better.I'm happy with who I am. I've had girlfriends try and change me from the day we started dating. I've had friends try and change me cause they thought they knew what was best for me. I've had people who don't even know me try and change me to what they perceive to be acceptable.But I'll never do that.Not out of some inflated sense of self-righteousness and stubbornness.No. It's because I'm content with who I am. And that's the most important sign of maturity of them all.