3 People Still Have Faith in President, Administration

Washington – White House spokesman Scott McClellan announced yesterday that three people had come forward to say they still have faith in President Bush and his administration, specifically Bush’s claims about Social Security needing private accounts to be saved and his stance regarding Iran.

However, two of the people were soon found to be the twin daughters of President Bush, disguising themselves as an elderly couple. The third person is Samuel Fellmann, a man with a history of mental illness, who remains convinced the earth is made of cheese.

“Gouda is my guess, but it’s hard to be sure without more testing,” Fellmann said. He then ate part of his coat.

“We are very pleased,” McClellan said at a press briefing. “These are three patriotic Americans who came forward to show their support for their president, who in some cases was their father. It’s a wonderful thing.”

The president was also supportive of the three. “I haven’t seen any proof brought forward that the earth isn’t made of cheese,” he said. “Have you? I mean, how is that any different, really, the cheese theory, than evolution? They’re both theories. Unlike creationism, which is true. And ‘cheese’ and ‘Jesus’ kind of rhyme, don’t they? I like that.”