sucking hard = painful and the equivalent of throwing a bucket of icy water over me. instant mood killer

and we’ve had this conversation a million times. normally in a gentle way and nonconfrontational. and he’ll get better for a bit…and then do it again.

and today i just lost my temper. asked him to stop, phyically batted his mouth and hands away and just got uber grumpy. asked how many times id hurt him while we’d have sex before…”none. well stop doing it to me then’

its just pure frustration at having the same conversation over and over again and the thought of having it again in the future. with him getting defensive/frustrated. and then i just left to take a walk

what i want to say is “do you give a damn about turning me on, or are you only thinking of yourself and what you like to do?”

everything else is really great/ just need to stop the damn nipple thing!!! because i swear, im at the point where next time im going to batter him with the nearest object. or use teeth in the next blowjob (only slightly, im not thinking lorena bobbit)

YIKES!!! That sounds like a major owie! And I think it’s a huge bummer that all went down like it did for you guys…

If it’s any consolation…I can be fairly certain that he’s not trying to hurt you, at all…chemically men and women’s responses to sexual stimulation are very different, and while he may be a calm and mild mannered person, they all have a little bit of animal in there somewhere…

I would imagine that getting you excited, gets him excited (good!) and when that happens, a surge of testosterone floods his system and literally numbs his whole body…except for one part…so he’s going to loose his sense of what is gentle and what isn’t, a little bit, which is why a lot of men really like to get rowdy as things progress, it feels better to them because their nerves are drowning in an agent that makes them shut down.

If it were me, I would talk abut this with him later, when you’re both calm and let him know what you like, and how it feels…and then make it REAL easy for him….next time you two get into the ring, leave your bra on, or a shirt, roll it up, let him at the girls, when it gets too rowdy, shirt goes down, let’s focus somewhere else..real clear signal, no fighting required, you are in control…would that work?

Wow, they really are sensitive. I think your husband justs gets over excited and in the moment but doesn’t realize he’s touching (hands or mouth) so hard til it’s to late. Other than trying to talk to him again or use an anology he can understand. When I give my husband anology’s is usually when he gets it and says “Oh, now I understand”. Maybe tell him “My nipples are so extremely sensitive it’s like me trying to touch the tip of your _____ (what ever you like to call it) right after you climax” Maybe he’ll then say “Oh, now I get it”.

Seriously, your message isn’t getting across; I know this time you were frustrated, which isn’t better, but you’ve got to move past your “gentle” conversations about it because clearly he doesn’t understnad what a big issue this is for you. Talking BEFORE you get down and dirty will help, because when it’s reactionary he gets defensive because you’re literally telling him “you’re not doing it right!” Instead talk about it when you’re completely neutral and explain how it feels and what you’d prefer, be sure to point out what he does RIGHT along with what you don’t like because then it’s a conversation, not a criticism.

we had a bit of a talk. he was actually quite hurt that i snapped at him and just stopped things in their tracks saying nothing was going to happen. walking outside without talking about it probably wasnt my best and msot mature move, but it did give me abit of time to cool down (i tend to get a bit melodramatic, so i do far better if i distance myself from problems a little bit and take a minute by myself)

he did say he really wasnt doing it on purpose, and he just got a bit carried away. my response was “and i get that, but theres a limit to how often i can have this same conversation with you. it hurts, please dont do that etc. im starting to tense up when you go anywhere near my breasts as i dont know how youre going to treat them”

he got very shame faced and abashed and said hed try harder not to do it