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Friday, 30 September 2011

4 Australian Arab Men You Should Never Date

A warning manual.

1. Moey Dw, the Fully Sick Habib

Moey Dw is the quintessential habib and is all kinds of fully sick. Habib is a somewhat derogatory label (think bogan or chav) applied to a specific breed of young Australian males with a Middle Eastern background, usually aged 12 to 25 years old. Habibs reside in western Sydney and are highly concentrated in the lower socio-economic suburbs of Bankstown, Punchbowl, Granville and Auburn. Because they are prevalent, almost omnipresent, and because they have very distinct characteristics, I would go as far as saying that there is a habib subculture. Perhaps even a cult. A fully sick cult.

Habibs have hijacked and claimed certain clothing brands, including Lonsdale, G-Star RAW, Ed Hardy and Nike. Moey Dw, the alpha-habib, is hardly seen without his parachute track pants, a hoodie, a Nike TN cap, Nike TN running shoes and a Lonsdale – or Lebsdale, as he affectionately calls it – bum bag.

Moey Dw struggles to speak English properly, despite being born and schooled in Australia. He, like most habibs, speaks a strange cross between English and heavy gibberish. Whenever he attempts to verbally communicate, it’s almost as if he’s choking and having an impossible time articulating himself. He can’t pronounce “th”, so rather than “thinking”, he’s “finking”. If it’s 3.20pm, he will tell you that the time is “free-twenny”. In every sentence spoken, at least one of the following terms is used: bro, shu (what), cuz, ay, or an Arabic profanity.

Every couple of weeks, Moey Dw visits the barber for mullet maintenance. He drowns himself in Lynx deodorant and speeds around his neighbourhood for no particular reason.

Moey Dw is usually only interested in ‘picking up chicks’ and getting laid. He’s not really looking for a long-term relationship. He wins over naive and vulnerable high school girls with his self-inflated ego and faux confidence. Moey Dw won’t have you at “hello”. He’ll have you at “lek shu sexy, what’s ya number?”

It’s necessary to note that Moey Dw is never alone. He is normally with two or more mates or in the company of a large group of habibs. If he plans on taking you out, expect a night of snorting cocaine with ‘the boys’ in an empty car park, followed by a Maccas run in an ancient and overcrowded Corolla.

2. Bling Bling Bilal

Bling Bling Bilal lives on the dole and earns a bit of pocket money by doing shady things on the side. When he isn’t lifting weights at the gym, he’s out with friends, picking up his fortnightly cheque from Centrelink or out clubbing. He is condescending to those around him, particularly women. He’s always making sexist comments and actually laughs at kitchen jokes – “It’s funny because it’s true”. He drives a flashy car, is draped in jewellery and wears $400 sunglasses to bed. Bilal hates it when anyone touches his hair and he breaks off relationships with “It’s not me, it’s you”.

3.Fouad the Freshie

Fouad is in Australia on a temporary Visa but he hopes to become a fully pledged citizen one day. Fouad, known as Foufou among his collective of freshie friends, is constantly looking for love. But his first priority is marriage – love grows later. He needs to secure citizenship after all. Foufou is a romantic and listens to songs by Wael Kfoury and Tamer Hosny. His English is broken and unsexy but you don’t hear much of it anyway – he’s reserved, quiet and likes to seem mysterious. It’s 2011 but Foufou likes the Greaser hairstyle. He gels his hair excessively and leaves a curl dangling across his forehead. He leaves a few buttons undone, so his chest hair can breathe, and he wears curled-up leather shoes. Foufou can be found at Lebanese sweet shops almost every night smoking the argileh and glancing up or staring at anything that looks remotely female. He only talks about politics and his mother country. He may be lovey-dovey, but he's possessive and easily jealous.

4. Kareem, the radical Muslim

Kareem is a killjoy because he only ever talks about religion and doesn’t hear anyone out. Good luck getting a date with him though. To you, a first date might mean movies and dinner, but to him, the first date is the wedding. Movies are filled with haram content and dinner might not be halal anyway. He is overbearingly conservative and always sighs, claiming that Australia needs to be an Islamic state. Kareem is a ‘Haram policeman’ – he aims to explain the ‘forbidden’ nature in most things and he annoys many of those around him. He strokes his beard when he speaks, tries to speak with authority, and when given the opportunity, he will go on a self-righteous four-hour tirade against evolution, against homosexuality, against music and against loans and interest. He is imposing, stubborn and seeking a submissive housewife.

Additional: The original Moey Dw image was removed and has been replaced.

Racist. If you had any respect you would leave religion out of it. You dont talk about christian arabs but only muslim ones. Yes i agree you should be careful of these kind of men but bringing their religious beliefs into their personalities or behaviours in unethical.

Hate breeds hate.......no body is perfect, not even you sunshine. Perhaps you should use your talented writing skills to stir positive emotions and tackle the problems of our society rather than ridicule and scrutinize...

brilliant piece Jennine :) it's so sad some people totally miss the point of your post! how on earth did Mahir think that what you wrote doesn't "tackle the problems of our society"??? i guess he's only interested in his kind of problems and not the arab girls problems!

Now, since you're in the know, where can i get a descent haircut in Bankstown?

You are a worthless Person You got no life so your talking about this I don't know what Nash you are but you are one filthy person and get your facts right you racist dirty person ;; talk about something that helps the society YOUR THR LOWER CASE

Is there a reason for which none of you dickheads seem to have a sense of humour? Satirical, yes. Amusing, yes. But if you're calling this "racism" and legitimately getting offended by it you need to harden up, because at present you sound like a bunch of five-year-old girls who are clearly way too stupid to appreciate a clever post... just in case the terrible grammar and spelling in your comments wasn't enough of an indication. Loved the post Jennine!

The only idiot person is Here DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SENSE IN HUMOUR YOU LOW LIFE SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S MAKING FUN OF THE ARABS WELL JENNINE IS A LOW LIFE LOWER CASE THAT HAS NO LIFE AND HAS NO DIGNITY SO SHE WRITES THIS GO WRITE SOMETHING USEFUL YOU MUT

I wonder who has posted these comments? Do they come from personal experience or are made up? Are they true or fiction? Who ever has posted these WARNINGS must have had a negative experience with these males. Which leads me to my next questions... How many guys has this girl been with? Is she a good reference or just as bad as them? After all birds or a feather flock together.

Obviously the people taking the 'lower case' part as offensive and attacking her dont get it, it is lower case as in not an upper-case letter, so a capital letter wasnt beening used when it should have been Arab. She is actually saying she is an Arab, not being demeaning to them. Relax.

Great Job Jennine, so proud of u my dear, unfortunately some people don't know who you really are or what you really do in everyday life and what you have achieved in life and what else lies ahead. keep the humour going <3 it!!

Jennine funny article its on the money I'm an Arab female I have at least seen one of each LOL not all people are like that but its so funny coz its true I agree lighten up its entertainment and truth be told women need to be careful there is people like this in every race

Mahir Alaoui actually a lot of the Muslim backround are a problem to society and it's not hard to identify that there's been a lot of violence caused by Muslims are commonly known as violent aggressive people so jenny has shown a big problem to society...brilliant work Jennine

Your a fucking racist dumb bitch. Why would you target one religion and claim to know everything. The only thing your doing is stereotyping. Your a judgemental bitch that deserves to die. For one you went on the google images and took pictures of random middle eastern men, two you know nothing about any of the men whos pictures you put up , three your a racist & a typical stereotyper. If i was you i would take this post down because it is extremely offensive. The guys names arent even theyre real names. You should be ashamed.

Not funny. Badly written. Not satitical at all (go learn the meaning of satire and read some swift for the person who thought it was satire). Patronising. Making fun of ethnics, islam, poor people and immigrants is not funny and has been done to death. Malcolm x would have called you another whitey wannabe and he would have been right. You're just an embarrassment.

The first 3 were pretty funny.. with regard to the fourth, however, you were basically describing a decent muslim and pretty much trashing true islamic values. Stop being an apologetic Muslim, Jenine.. You say "radical". Well i say one man's "radical muslim" is another man's "Practicing muslim". You love to reinforce the stereotypes, dont you? Not helping.

Who do you think you are writting things like this about people you dont no! and moey dw is a photo of my boyfriends brother! and his name isnt moey you IDIOT! go get your facts right, and who r you to judge people, your no1 special. You dont no anything about these people. your just stupid and your just being racist.

Word of advice, degrading others doesn't make you funny... Likewise, putting others down doesn't make you superior. Think of some original material and stop reinforcing negative stereotype that the media perpetuates on a daily basis. Unfortunately not everyone was born with a silver spoon in their mouth (like u were stuck up #@!) if you had a bit of self respect u would understand this and not knock others that don't live up to your expectations.... I hope u grow up immature girl

guys/girls by trashing jennine ur proving to be wat ur comments are saying..if you think she should respect religion then you should as well. This isnt how we do things in islam, why cant we just confront each other about the issues instead of using foul mouth language and threats. Your being hypocrites so before you go on with your degrading comments think about what your all writing and if you have an issue with the girl then inbox her in private and let her know, the world doesnt need to know what you think. I miss the days when people were mature about these things. Nowadays everyone looks for drama especially you bunch of girls

I think you guys are being far too sensitive. I myself am a an arab/muslim and I am very good friends with atleast one of each of those stereotypes and would be very, very surprised if they are offended by this.

Come on guys we should embrace these stereotypes instead of getting offended.

oh my gosh i honestly cant believe what im reading it was meant to be a joke for god sake lighten up people !! and shes just not actually writing about the people in the picture it just happened to be a quite funny coincidence id say that they perfectly describe what shes saying haha and i find it quite funny how someone told her " you should just die judgemental bitch" , who's being the judgmental one now ?? if you dont like it then dont read it janene is entitled to her own opinion just like the rest of you so suck it up , build a bridge and get over it.

WOW - no one knows how to take a joke these days ! That is pretty pathetic, to wish death upon a girl, just because she has posted some funny definitions of a particular group of people, which are pretty spot on. GET OVER IT.

The reason why half of you are getting offended is because you see the truth behind her writing. Lighten the Fuck up.

Also, I'm not being totally negative, I liked your piece about "the criminal act of lower casing", I was just giving an opinion, in regards to making fun about religious beliefs, Muslims are forbidden to make fun of other religions, let alone their own, so I don't blame people for taking this to an emotional level, but I do not condone the derrogatory remarks. And I disagree that this method of satire will help solve the problems of our society as suggested by some of the comments.

I still love this blog. And thanks everyone for proving what a lovely Muslim community we come from. @ mahir I'd like to add that it may be forbidden in Islam to make fun of other people/ religions but they still do and I sure do. I believe I hear/ read/ say a joke atleast once a day that someone is going to find offensive. Really everyone you should just see the fun side of this blog and be mature about it, have a problem, private message the author and let them know what you think respectively and show people that Islam is truly a religion of peace!!

I would challenge all the negative people to compare your intellect to Jennine's and you'll all fail. This blog post is not only brilliant, it is a smart and satirical piece of writing. One thing i have noticed is that all the negative people who have commented seemed to have stopped attending school after year 9. The lack of grammar and spelling is appalling, so it gives you no right to say that this post is 'dumb and stupid'. @Jessica who cares what his real name is, the purpose of the picture is a symbolic representation of what a Moey dw looks like, not an identification of that particular person. @Mahir and ALL negative people, you put other Muslims to SHAME. This blog is not even derogatory in any way. I hope you all realise when Miranda Devine writes articles such as 'Islam rears its ugly head in again' in the Herald Sun and Andrew Bolt and Janet Albrechetsen have a hack at Islam, that you should react accordingly. People like you don't realise that the lack of societal progression for Muslims is because you don't defend your religion WHERE IT IS NEEDED. Commenting here on a satirical blog post that is quite light hearted will get you nowhere. Also what is interesting is that this blog is not fictional, but spot on. To all the people all there that call Jennine a 'dumb bitch, a mutt, idiot etc' just look in the mirror before you judge anyone's personality/religion/character. And FYI, Islam is a religion not a race, so regarding Islam, no one can ever be racist.

wow i cannot believe anybody let alone a muslim girl would write such impotent and demeening things. For one; who do you think you are to point out these peoples flaws no matter how bad they should be, because im pretty sure you are not. Two; its excessively bias and steriotypical. Three; you would have to be a pretty pathetic human to make yourself seem superior by degrading and deeming others and four; you need a serious atittude makeover in regards to Islam and having basic respect and descency. =)

went too far with the religion thing, alot of ppl live their lives like that and are not generally "imposing, stubborn and seeking a submissive housewife." I understand it was a joke and i love to laugh and all, which is why the first one was fine with me, its all a joke, but don't mix with religion, certain boundaries we should not cross. (including posting pictures of ppl we don't know)

This is an interesting meditation on the cultural habits of a much maligned sub-culture...whilst what you describe may indeed be common amongst certain individuals,I fear that you are casting your net very widely. Naturally you may be inclided to critique those that you know best...this is a reflection on your reality, yet I think that this article is somewhat dangerous in perpetuating a stereotype. With this in mind, I very much value your ability to look at your own community and make some critical remarks which many of us have a personal understanding of. Well done.

I have a sense of humour yet I did not find this literary failure entertaining whatsoever. Rather it is a confession of self hate because satirical it is not! A satire is designed to endear peculiarly unique characteristics to the reader, unfortunately this only serves to perpetuate negative stereotypes that have been created and cultivated by outsiders to the community and thus make this article quite offensive. Author needs a lesson in cultural sensitivity, understanding and political correctness. PPPPPP!

oh and to the anonymous writer of the comment that Islam is not a race and therefore one cannot be racist towards the religion of Islam, well my dear sister or brother but I guess it is a sister due to the snobbery and righteous tone you deliver, you have been brainwashed by haters of Islam who have guided how you think. Your opinion is a safe one that conforms to certain majority views. Yet again you are an example of the acceptable Muslim, that is one that for the sake of this particular comment that Islam is not a race. Darling that is a red neck narrow minded racist argument designed to prevent Muslims from defending themselves agains untoward discrimination. Indeed like Judaism and a Jew Islam and a Muslim may identify as a race, and all Muslims are part of the nation of Islam the Umma. I really do wish that so called liberal educated Muslims would stop towing the line and start developing alternative viable arguments that challenge the norm. Just as anti semitism is racist so should anti Muslim comments be racist too. One rule for all. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. To agree and conform and accept self mockery is not a sign of progress. The Muslim community in Australia needs to carve out a niche for itself and establish a popular identity for itself, not an identity that is dictated by others. The direction of the Muslim community must be decided by the community not directed by others. And so when you froth at the mouth about muslims being ignorant, nobody shows their treasonous colours than you!

HAHA this is hilarious, I know quite a few "Moey DW's" and all the other ones are spot on too. For all the people making negative comments saying she needs to die etc. Just grow up and take a joke, i bet the author is 10x as smart as any of you.

Ahh please stop playing the race card, which in this case doesn't even apply. A) She's Arab herself B) She's not trashing Islam, she's trashing self righteous idiots who preach to everyone around them instead of practicing Islam humbly and most importantly on a technical note C) RELIGION and RACE are 2 different things! Religion is a set of ideas, it has nothing to do with race.

Although I myself did laugh at this, doesn't make it right. Hating or stereo typing of people really is not a a trait you should be possessing. I get where you are coming from with the "look what us girls have to deal with" but believe me, the girls in this day and age are just as bad if not worse!! They are just open with what they do. To the idiots saying she is "Arab", stfu doesn't make it correct. I just hope for your sake that the people you have posted on here have agreed to you posting their pictures. FYI you are intitled to your opinion but not anyone expense. Isn't right.

This is genius! Spot on! You have made me laugh so much. lol @ the criticisms, you are always going to get people like that who get angry and fired up and forget that you have done this to give people a laugh. Job well done mate :)

Its funny because there are many guys out there like this!!!! But not only muslim arab guys. Although the guys that preach 24/7 do get annoying, but they are only embracing the lord that they obey.. So you cant say its a bad thing, other then that its funny =P

The truth hurts and the people making the negative comments are just "cut" because the author has hit a raw nerve. Typical arabs behaving irrationally even to the point of saying the girl should die. I dont know why Australia accepts you idiots in this country even if you were born here. Go back to the Middle East where your behaviour will most likely be the norm and accepted. Here in this country, you are disgrace to Australian society. As for you young lady, brilliant work and spot on. At least freedom of speech is on your side. Allah forbid you were in Lebanon and wrote this. I dare not publish my name for fear of retribution and my house being sprayed with bullets by the bros.

I actually don't think any of the post was funny or intelligent. I got an email with a link to the blog saying "you have to read, it is the funniest and so true." I didn't laugh once, or even crack a smile. that's not to say i dont have a sense of humour, just one that uses intelligence rather than mockery. Boys hanging out with nothing to do but swear and act like hooligans is NOT funny. Men travelling here who use women for a visa is NOT funny. Snorting cocaine in a park is NOT funny. What all of these things are is a serious problem in our community. A community where a new generation is being born and the emotional distress of parents who want to make sure their children are not the next problem of society!

Lmao when i was younger getting phonecalls from my girl friends. “omg! We gotta get down to Parra, it's Habib central tonight“ get down there and there is the whole population of Lebanon in westfields on Thursday night. most the Moey‘s on their phones either calling for backup or “checking their credit“ as none seemed to really be talking to anyone but the phone glued to their ear could only lead me to the assumption.