70-year old George went for his annual physical and all of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peacewith yourself, and do you have a good relationship with God?"George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom *poof* the light goes on, when I'm done *poof* the light goes off.""Wow!" commented Dr. Smith, "That's incredible!"A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Ethel," he said, "George is doing fine. Physically he's great, but I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof* the light goes on in the bathroom, and then when he is through *poof* the light goes off?">Ethel exclaimed, "Oh, my God! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"

an 80 year old man is having his annual checkup. the doctor asks him how hes feelin'. the old man says" I' ve never been better . I have an 18 year old bride who's pregnent with my child. What do you think about that?!"

The doctor thinks for a moment then says let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter.

He never misses a season.but one day he's in a bit of a hurry and grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.So he's walking in the woods next to a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in the brush ahead of him.

He raises the umbrella ,aims,and squeeses the handle.BAM!!! the beaver falls dead in its tracks.

Thats impossible replies the old man in disbelief. someone elsemust have shot that beaver.

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