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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Wisdom of Belly Boy

Fat men are wise. Buddah was fat and wise and so is Dr Gerald "Teddy" Bear. Another wise fat guy is Belly Boy. His jelly belly philosophy can best be described as "Boomshakalakian modernistic hip hop Buddhist waddle."

BELLY BOY
said...

THE BIGGER FATTER BLOGGERThat's me.

Yeah, I've been through
some tough times. I've been kicked, beaten, spat on, stabbed, and shot
with BB guns because of my lifestyle. And I'm just talking orientation.
I'm oriented towards being fat.

I've had doctors tell me that I
was going to die in a few months. I've had them demand that I get
liposuction, and even weight loss surgery, which is irreversible and
causes fatalities in a significant number of Americans every year. I
even had former friends suggest that I get HIV so that I would lose
weight that way.

That's right, there are Americans out there who
are SO anti-fat prejudiced that they actually think that getting the HIV
would be better than being fat.Is this where our society has
degenerated to? Are we no longer at all compassionate about others with
different lifestyle choices? What ever happened to freedom of
expression? There needs to be a Fat Rights Amendment that would
institute Freedom of Food.

This would mean that everyone would be
allowed to eat whatever they want, whenever they want, as long as they
don't steal it etc. It means that students at school are now allowed to
eat pizzas at lunch, even several thousands of calories worth, and
guzzle sodas laden with glorious high fructose corn syrup, which
everyone knows is a natural and healthy product.Drinking soda is
like drinking concentrated corn. Corn is a plant, and a vegetable or a
fruit, so it's healthy. Therefore, drinking soda is healthy.
Furthermore, an ice cream float contains both soda and vanilla ice
cream, which contains dairy products, and is therefore healthy. So a
root beer float is a healthy, balanced part of anyone's diet. Yet we
angrily attack fat people just for being healthy sized.

LET'S
HEAR IT FOR FOOD. LET'S ALL TODAY COME TOGETHER AND ANNOUNCE THAT WE
WILL END FAT DISCRIMINATION FOREVER! LET'S MAKE TOMORROW BELLY BOY DAY. LET'S MAKE TOMORROW BETTER THAN YESTERDAY. YOU AND ME CAN DO IT TOGETHER.