This post was written by Julia Knapp, one of the founders of chARTer Nannies and the Head of Wardrobe on the Yo Gabba Gabba show. Julia travels with Yo Gabba Gabba and Thomas the Train on the road. During the off season, she works as the regular travel nanny for the band Mates of State and studies Reiki.

As one of the co-founders of chARTer nannies and a long time nanny myself, I’ve had the opportunity to work with all different types of families. I’ve found the one common and consistent need with each has been a solid, open line of communication between the parents and myself. Whenever any issues arise with our nannies the problem more often than not roots back to communication. It may be hard to find the time to sit and talk but in my experience it is always well worth the effort. Communication is KEY! Here are 5 points that will help keep you, the nanny and the kids happy!

1.Establish preferred method of communication. First and for most, start off your relationship by establishing your preferred method of communication. If an issue arises how would you like the nanny to approach you? Via text, email or in person? Possibly set a time once a week for a check-in with each other. How’s it going? What could you each do better? How are the children doing? ChARTer nannies has a form we offer to our clients and nannies that encourages them to sit together and talk over all the points that could be potentially awkward to bring up initially. An example from this form is as follows: “If there is an issue, would you like the nanny to bring it up right away or would you like to communicate this in writing or at a specific time?”This can be crucial in maintaining a positive and open relationship as sometimes the hardest part of communicating is the initial approach in bringing up an issue.

2. Be approachable. It is easy for both of you to communicate positive experiences with the child/children but sometimes it is necessary to bring up topics that aren’t so easy, like pay, schedule, time off, or things that you’d like to see change. Be open to each one another’s needs. Even when you know you’ve found the perfect nanny for your family it is natural for a parent to have feelings of guilt or even feel “left out” when someone else is caring for your child/children and having important life experiences with them. If feelings of defensiveness creep in, try to find the source of those feelings and know that the nanny is there to support and help you and your family.

3.Listen. Put yourself in each others shoes. Listening to the other person’s point of view is just as important as getting your own needs expressed.

4. No amount of information is ever too much. I appreciate when a parent goes out of their way to give me detailed instructions. It leaves a smaller window for questioning how I should approach each situation with the child, knowing I’m doing exactly what the parent would do.

5.Expectations. Be upfront about your expectations of the nanny. If there are tasks you’d like the nanny to take charge over, like cleaning, stocking the diaper bag, laundry, etc… be specific in talking these over. I’ve encountered experiences where a parent has been frustrated because a nanny wasn’t instinctively taking on a job that the parent felt fell under the title of nanny. The nanny didn’t know the parent felt this way until it was brought to her attention and the nanny was more than happy to help out with the job.

So just remember that communication is truly the key to keeping life moving along smoothly between your family and the nanny. And be confident knowing that although the nanny will never replace you as the parent, you’ve chose the best person to care for your children!

How did you find care for your baby? Did you go with a nanny or a daycare provider?

]]>http://blog.thebump.com/2014/04/09/want-to-have-a-great-relationship-with-your-babys-nanny-these-5-tips-should-help/feed/0http://i0.wp.com/xothebump.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/thinkstock_105943070.jpg?resize=214%2C148http://blog.thebump.com/2014/04/09/want-to-have-a-great-relationship-with-your-babys-nanny-these-5-tips-should-help/
Prince William and Kate Middleton Make an Easy Choice for Baby’s Nanny: Here’s How to Do the Samehttp://blog.thebump.com/2013/09/12/prince-william-and-kate-middleton-make-an-easy-choice-for-babys-nanny-heres-how-to-do-the-same/
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Prince William and Kate Middleton have called in a seasoned set of royal hands to help them look after their growing royal baby!

The doting new parents have hired Jessie Webb (William’s former nanny!) to help them look after Prince George. The 71-year-old nanny is most famously known for taking care of William when he was a baby. She was hired by the late Princess Diana and Prince Charles to look after William and Prince Harry when they were children and was often seen as a source of comfort to the two growing boys during their parents’ divorce. Ingrid Seward, author of A Century of Royal Children, says, “She’ll be like a safe pair of hands. She knows the ropes and knows what happens. That’s preferred rather than someone new to it all, someone who’d be terrified of it all.” Webb has already been spotted in photos with Kate, stopping here and there for little errands while the family of three is living in Anglesey, Wales.

Though the first-time parents were adamant about getting through the early days sans the help of a nanny, it looks like the time has come for the threesome to add another hands-on caretaker to their family — and who better than someone who already knows the royal ropes so well? Will and Kate have already returned to their royal duties and volunteer efforts so the need to introduce a nanny to George became even more important. Webb, who attended William’s 21st birthday party and was a guest at the royal wedding, very much knows what life in the royal spotlight feels like. Because the Duchess and her beau have expressed their desire to raise their son to be as common as possible, it should come as no surprise that they’d turn to someone who held some stake in the way William was raised.

But if you don’t have a hands-on nanny you know and trust that’s worked with your family before, how do you find someone?

Start with personal recommendations and by checking with organizations you trust. You can also sign on to use sitter websites and agencies to help connect you with quality people. By asking friends, family, coworkers or even other moms in the area, you’ll get candid insight into who other moms have worked with, who’s available and who you can trust. They’ll give you the real deal on what hiring someone to look after your baby will really be like — and they’ll know the important things to tell you to look for.

Working with an organization you trust may also provide you with background checks and people who’ve been trained in infant CPR. A lot of moms suggest working through a religious organization you’re comfortable with or through daycare services. Online communities will give you the choice of looking at someone and reading their resume before calling them over for coffee. You get to pick and choose the people you want to do talk with — and you can contact their references at no added charge.

Early morning on a school day. Standing outside in my sweats and slippers with my 3-year-old while my newborn finally – FINALLY – slept peacefully inside. Delirious from sleep deprivation and paralyzed with indecision.

I needed my son to go to preschool so that I could get a few hours of precious sleep. But I could not – WOULD not – risk waking the baby. His school was barely a five-minute drive away. I could almost see it from our front yard. Could I zip over, drop him off, and get back before the baby woke up? I was seriously considering it. But with my luck, that would be the day I locked myself out or got stuck in traffic or forgot to turn off the stove.

Sleep deprivation can lead to bad, bad decisions.

Fortunately, I was saved from making a stupid mistake by my neighbor. At that moment, she drove by on the way to take her own kids to school. She took one look at my disheveled appearance and red eyes and offered to take my son to school in her extra car seat. I was so grateful I cried. Some more.

Like a lot of moms I know, I have a hard time asking for help. Sometimes even admitting I need help. “No thanks, I got it!” I might say, while carrying a baby, a diaper bag, and five bags of groceries, one in my teeth. “Oh, no. I could never ask you to do that,” I might reply to a friend who offers to watch the kids so I can run to a doctor’s appointment solo. I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. People are busy. They have their own stuff to deal with.

What changed my mind was being on the other side of the equation. A friend asked ME for help. Not only was I happy to do it, but it made me feel good. Useful. Needed. Connected. And I didn’t feel so bad asking her for help the next time I needed it. It was a win-win.

Of course, you must be mindful of boundaries. Lending someone a cup of milk or giving a kid an occasional ride to school is one thing. Being a chump who provides free childcare for the whole neighborhood is another. But most moms I know have a pretty good nose for freeloaders and drama queens. We don’t have time for that stuff.

But when it comes to asking for help and accepting it, the pluses far outweigh the potential minuses, if you ask me. Think about that the next time you’re contemplating waking up a (finally!) sleeping baby.

My husband and I have a date coming up this weekend and it will be the first time that our son has had a babysitter. Kind of. While I work, my sister babysits and all the other times we’ve had a babysitter it’s been a family member who has watched him at their house. This will be the first time we’ll have a “they come to your house, get the rundown on your child, you leave and they stay with your child until you get back” scenario. The babysitter is a good friend of mine, so I don’t have any concerns there, but this is still a big step for me. As a first-time mom, I’ve started to prepare for the hand off.

There are things that I want to tell her. Things like: he likes to be held with you cradling him over your arm while he is on his tummy. He can pull himself up by holding onto chairs or the couch, but he gets scared when he doesn’t know how to sit back down. He likes his back to be rubbed in circles just so. He likes Cheerios, but also likes to hit the high chair tray causing them to fly everywhere. He likes the blue blanket when he sleeps, but just from the knees on down. If he lets you hold him and rock him, then he’s probably really tired.

I want to tell her that he’s fascinated by flashlights. He’s figured out that when I push buttons on the microwave, it will turn on in a few seconds – he waits for it and smiles. And his little plastic balls? He likes the one with the puppy in it the best. He doesn’t particularly like to lay still long enough for a diaper change, so you’ll have a mini wrestling match on your hands. He doesn’t take a sippy cup yet, but loves to “drink” water from a spoon. And he makes the cutest little “mm…mm…mm” sound when he eats something that he really likes.

But I probably won’t tell her much of that. The things I want to tell her aren’t exactly the tools she’ll need for spending the evening with my son. Sure, they’ll play together, and when he cries for certain things, she’ll figure out what he’s asking for and how to help him. But the things I want to tell her — the things that only a mom and a dad know about their beautiful child — those are the things I’ll struggle to keep back.

Instead, I’ll focus on the things that I need to tell her. Things like how to contact us, where we’ll be, other emergency contact numbers, what time he goes to bed, feeding instructions, bedtime routines and how the TV remote works.

That’s the difference between a parent and a babysitter. A mom gets to know all things. A babysitter just knows what she needs to know. And while I’m so grateful for good babysitters, I’m very happy being the mom.