I understand we're in the minority, hence the dilima and original questions.

One again, I'm not looking for reasons why we are outnumbered, or different than the norm. What I'm asking is how to circumvent some of the unwanted advances full swap folks and spend more time with like minded couples.

Your posts were not exactly what we were asking, but we appreciate your perspective just the same. Thanks for respecting our thread.

Chesterfield VA

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Again - just giving you some insight from someone who's "been there done that"... not criticizing or arguing, mmmk?

"I think there's a significant portion of other couples out there that have truly bi females, and aren't interested in other 'dick' beyond their significant others, just as I know that I wouldn't be interested in having sex with another female."

Significant? Yes. But definitely a minority.

"Also, I would encourage females and wives that are not 'truely bi', as you have stated, to not indicate that they are."

How are they going to do that? "Bi curious" really means more like "well, I guess I like girls I don't know" - implying some kind of lack of experience or uncertainty of interest. This is not the case. Mrs. VA and many others are very much "bi" under the right circumstances.

"My wife is plenty enough for me."

Those are words that usually are a dead giveaway for "issues" with newbie people, and I'd recommend you refrain from using them. The implication (and I don't think you mean it this way) is that people who DO want sex with others feel their wife/husband is NOT enough for them, and that's not the case. It's a hallmark of insecurity in newbie couples, who assure each other they are "enough" to allay their insecurity. I'm not saying this is you -I'm saying it's what we see.

Anyway - I've said my piece here.... unless you specifically ask me something I'll leave you to this thread. All the best.

Windermere FL

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My wife wanted me to post that she said that she does want dick, but that she already gets it. What she doesn't get on a regular basis is pussy. :-)

That's sooo hot that she said that I just had to share. Almost 20 years together and she still surprises me.

Chesterfield VA

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Also, I would encourage females and wives that are not 'truely bi', as you have stated, to not indicate that they are. I understand why they would, but at the same time, I would think you would be able to avoid unwanted advances from those that are looking for a couple with a truely bi wife.

Just my opinion.

Chesterfield VA

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Thanks again for your honesty. It is appreciated.

You may very well be right about about how most couples progress. I know that our limited experience with other lifestyle friends has shown us that most couples feel that way.

However, I don't think they all do. I think there's a significant portion of other couples out there that have truly bi females, and aren't interested in other 'dick' beyond their significant others, just as I know that I wouldn't be interested in having sex with another female. My wife is plenty enough for me.

We understand there are many other swap couples out there that are looking for more than we are. We're ok with that. I prefer to be around open minded people of all types.

The point of the thread, however, was the find out the best way to politely and quickly disengage from those that are interested in more, so that we can spend more time with, and focus on those that are looking for similar types of fun.

1. Most women (Mrs. VA is one of them) are not truly bi, even those listed as "bi". Most are bi either for *exactly* the right woman, or just like girls for foreplay. In the end, most "bi" women are really looking at the guy half as the end game, with the female half as the pre-game and perhaps half-time show.

2. While many couples begin as you have (or "girls only for threesomes"), once the curiosity has been satisfied, most end up relaxing their rules and become more "standard" swingers (provided jealousy wasn't the reason they were "girls only").

While this may not be the case for you, people do generalize, and if we meet a "watch the girls" club, the thought that runs through our heads (from either of us) is "yeah yeah OK see you in a year when you want dick". We certainly wouldn't be that brutal about it, and not everyone "changes", but more often than not, this is the case.

As I said - good luck.

Windermere FL

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@vabeachcouple33, great analogy. Thanks for your input. I would say that 'watch the girls' at the club is a pretty accurate description of us, lol.

BTW, wife says, after seeing your wife's pictures, that it's too bad you guy aren't into just letting the girls play. We're from VA Beach and visit about every other week. :-)

Anyways, we appreciate your input. We actually talked to a couple of clubs, and our idea about 'bracelets' to designate type of interest went over very, very well.

Chesterfield VA

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I don't think anyone should have a problem with what you're looking for, but you need to remember that most people you're finding at events are *not* going to be this way. We've come across plenty of couples like you (we call them " 'watch the girls' clubs") and, while we're not hostile to them either, we're just not interested.

In short, you're going to a swingers club, and you're not what most people are looking for. You shouldn't compromise on what you're looking for at all - but just keep in mind you're not going to find many there.

It's kind of like this - imagine you're French, and you're looking only for other French couples. So, you go to a club in Sweden. Um, well OK sure - there might be a few French couples in there, but it's going to be overwhelmingly Swedish couples, and when you tell them all you're only looking for French couples, well...

The problem you have is that there are no clubs in "France", so to speak. I'm sure the people you're looking for are here, but they are a small minority.

Good luck.

Windermere FL

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Was talking about this with another couple, and we decided that someone should come up with some of those bracelets like you see for any charity or whatever, that can be used to indicate preferences at a lifestyle party.

I thought that was a brilliant idea.

Chesterfield VA

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We are the same and also find it a bit difficult with full swap couples. If you ever find that "magical word"; please pass it on. Hugs Sofia & Raul

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