Friends

Halloween is a great time to have a party, but you can do it ANY time really. Pick a really different room with a theme and make or send some costumes. The more unique or different it is better. These are the memories and times you’ll always remember and laugh about for a long time, and make your friendships so solid. You can’t help but laugh and have an awesome time, whether it’s a holiday theme, or motor cycle gang, or space station, super heros, Indians, mermaids, gangsters, or, or, or…. It’s a great way to build a strong group and great friendships. Any excuse for a party, and this is a great way to have a memorable party! (Search 1Krisslyn for these costumes and the room)

Tomorrow is a special day for one of the most special people I’ve had the privilege of getting to know in here. I wrote a long time ago about the magic of a Pure Heartfelt Connection and that’s truer than ever. And sharing that and feeling that with Stephanie has been one of the best things of all in IMVU. I’ve had the privilege and honor of sharing all of the emotion and excitement of an amazing real life fairytale love. And tomorrow she marries her real life prince charming.

I love her more than words can say, so I’ve collected several hundred pictures and a few videos to try and capture some of that love. No word or pictures could ever repay the love and happiness I’ve felt with her but I hope this gives you an idea. And Stephanie I’ll laugh and cry with you always. You’ll be awesome and like I’ve always said, You have AMAZING things ahead. This is just the beginning and even though I can’t be there with you physically, I want you to know I’m sooo there in spirit, happy dancing right beside you, and whispering in your ear. Ik hou van jou Stephanie

We’re doing something special tonight for Ally, one of my long time closest friends of all time. I was kind of naïve when I came here and didn’t know much about a lot of things especially collaring. I didn’t know what being a sub meant and I certainly didn’t know that I had any inclination in that direction.

A collaring ceremony is like a wedding in some ways in that it’s a commitment ceremony. Like a lot of things in here it has as much meaning as you give it, and making a special ceremony for it gives it more weight and makes it more meaningful.

I videoed the collaring ceremony and added it here with pics and I wanted to say and do something special for Ally publicly because I really feel this and love her!

What can I say about one of my closest friends for over two years? Beauty is just pixels in here but over time you get to see and know people from the inside out. And when I say Ally is one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever met, I don’t just mean in IMVU or just in pixels, which you can see but on the inside. She’s got an amazingly playful, adventurous passion, and if I had to pick one word to describe Ally more than anyone else, it would probably be FUN! She’s one of the best subs ever but she’s also got tremendous range. Most of all, she’s not only beautiful in here she’s truly beautiful inside and an amazing friend!

I recently published the 500th post, and then this weekend got really sick, in bed for two days with a fever, and bad congestion and coughing. It wasn’t fun. I watched more tv, but I also thought about what would happen if… well if I had to leave. Even though I worry less about that now after a couple years, I could be just one big blowout argument away from having to walk away from this.

I’m not totally sure I could even do it actually, but if push came to shove, it’s always possible. I’m not saying this to worry anyone because that’s not imminent or even likely that I can see. But I wanted to say one thing publicly that needs to be said just so it’s clear. If anything happens that I can’t continue here, the blog ImvuTips.com goes to my twin Katy.

Things have been really amazing lately and I’m sorry if I’ve been a little caught up in things at times and don’t put enough of you on it. You really are my twin and more important than I can possibly say. IMVU is constantly evolving and changing, people coming and going. It’s not that your relationship isn’t a success if you’re not still together five years or twenty five years later. It’s a success if you felt that uplifting, whole heart loving feeling.

Anyway I don’t mean to get side tracked, I just want to say publicly that Katy is not only the most amazing person I’ve ever met on here, but maybe the most amazing person I’ve ever met ANYWHERE. I could probably make this whole blog about you and not say it enough, how much you mean to me, how big of an honor it is to be your Twin and your framily.

IMVU is ultimately about Relationships and being able to connect with people. And that’s hard to capture in words, but I want to share one of the most special moments I’ve had here. I think you’ll see why I say that. I didn’t make this for the website I made it for Stephanie, to keep on her cell phone and inspire her and be there for her for years to come. But I couldn’t not share this too.

There’s honestly no other way to say how special she is to me and how much this connection means. I’m sincerely honored to have several very special connections, with the most amazing people, each totally unique and more wonderful than I can say. Hopefully you can feel some of the heart and love in this and that you get to feel some of this magic too.

To Stephanie (and Wendy!!!) I love you more than I can ever say or show you, and being able to share this with you has truly been one of the most magic and special things of not just imvu but my whole life. Ik hou van jullie beide zo veel Stephanie and Wendy!

My son had a book to read yesterday (How Full is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer, video below), that was so neat I kind of wanted to just retype the whole thing for the site. It’s not about IMVU of course but it definitely applies a lot. I guess a lot of life principles apply here. It’s just easier to see things in here sometimes.

The point of the book was that we all have a bucket that we use for our good feelings. And we are either filling each others buckets or we are emptying their bucket. We can’t fill our own buckets but we can fill other people’s buckets. If we always fill the buckets of the people around us, we will get our own bucket filled in the process. And taking something out of someone else’s bucket does NOT add it to ours.

It was cute but it made me think of here for some reason. When we start here we think its just a fun sexy game or something. But along the way as we start to connect with our avi and connect with friends we learn to let our walls down and our heart out and it almost takes on a life of its own. And the principle we kind of know for life seem to work even more clearly in this clutter free virtual world.

So even though you can do or be anything you want in imvu, you’ll probably find that being a better version of yourself is much more rewarding . I don’t mean better in terms of morals but I mean better in how you treat others. Karma definitely applies here and in the end whatever you give out is what you’ll get back.

When I first started I wore necklaces of the names of my best friends. Its nice but they get hard to read. Now I wear a variety of things that I’ve kind of accumulated along the way.

I have a lot of things I don’t wear any more. But these are the most important ones I wear regularly. I have several bracelets. My favorite is Gabby VBFF bracelet. It’s special because of what it means and because it was made just for me and nobody else has it. Just as special is my Lyn bracelet. It has three hearts connected and that’s what it means. Sometimes I wear both the Lyn hearts and the Lyn family member bracelet which we made to give out to other people that felt like family. That let us include other people without taking away from the specialness of or original bracelet and connection.

Sometimes you won’t realize how special something is to someone else. Wendy gave me a gold bracelet called and I pointed out that to me that was Wendy and Stephanie, since they both had Love in their name. I’ve worn it ever since.

Katy made the neatest locket with pictures of her, Susan and I which I really love and wear a lot. I also wear and love a necklace that Susan made for me when she told me to take off the ring I wore for her and put it on a necklace to let me go and at the same time always be close. It’s kind of a combination combination collar / ring which means more than I can explain.

I wear a pretty little anklet that’s hard to see in some shoes or bottoms, but it Sisters Always Friends Forever, and it’s so true for Collette. I started wearing butterflies because Katy said she loved them. I could go on about a few more things like my hickey, but the point is that symbolism matters in here. It’s all in our heads in some ways. No matter how you look at it these things are very special to me, just like the people and relationships behind them are.

Lyn is our family name and means a lot to me. It stands for Love Your Neighbor. Taylor came up with that and I love it. It definitely fits. It’s not just physically it’s really more emotionally and about reaching out in and uplifting way.

The best way to say it is putting the others first, not just in theory but every day. If you really do that, you wind up with several people putting you first. You may not even realize how many people care until you run into trouble and suddenly you have so many people trying to help you and lift you back up!

It also requires openness and honesty. This requires some balance. You can be too blunt and too open sometimes. Though it is usually better to err on the side of openness and honesty. You can whisper and PC but keep it to a minimum. Excluding someone is very bad. Again balance is necessary.

I guess the last thing I’d add is that like marriage being part of group like this means making the group my priority. We all juggle and deal with things and its important to know that solid people that you can count on love you and have your back. These are the things that Lyn means to me! And each of the people individually mean way more than I can begin to say.

The church I go to has great popular christian music that I really love, and it always makes me think of the people I love in here. One song in particular By Your Side, by Tenth Avenue North, hit me so hard. I put some pictures from IMVU to it and wanted to share it. It’s not a fancy edited video but I hope you enjoy it.

One of the most surprising benefits of IMVU is that it can be an amazing support group. I have a group of friends that love and want the best for me more than I think is possible, in very many other situations. They are very capable successful people and have diverse backgrounds, and are very consistently there for me.

We all need someone we can talk to sometimes. It’s just great to be able to vent, or share things with someone that doesn’t have any axe to grind or incentive to sell you something. They have experience in a lot of things, and can help to give you an honest perspective. They proactively watch for issues and want to help more than I probably deserve.

Your mileage may vary, and experience may be different obviously. But I have really truly, the best friends I think I’ve ever had in my life. They are super understanding and all only want the best for me. It takes some time to build that up and let go of your walls and let people in this close, but when you do it is an awesome feeling. It’s something that you don’t get very often in life and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it!

[I got to the reception late so I didn’t get to say everything I wanted to say for my toast to the happy couple, so here it is in full…]

~clinking her class softly, quietly, waiting for the room to quiet~

If I could have your attention for just a tiny second, I would like to propose a toast…

First to my lovely and incomparable wife Susan, for such a beautiful ceremony, bringing in such universal truths about life and love, staying out of the way to let the brides’ loves shine, bridging all of humanity in, while still making every thought and feeling so deeply personal.

Second to everyone here, friends and family. You all mean more to me than I can say. It feels amazing to be part of such a community bonded by our shared love for each other and for the happy couple.

But really, I am here to cherish the love of the two brides. To be honest, I was more thrilled and honored to be a bridesmaid for Kait and Tay than I was for my college friend’s rl wedding last week. They are my true friends, my best friends real or virtual, and true sisters.

Kaitlyn who I have known longer than anyone else except my lovely wife. With whom I shared an instant bond, a commonality of spirit and outlook, a connection that twins share. And a kindness and generosity and empathy I have never seen equalled here on anywhere.

I normally say, serendipity brought me to this family, but really Kait did, she brings people together. And I have been so lucky to have been caught in her net.

And Taylor, one of the newest members of my family. Taylor who in just a few short weeks, executed her diabolical plans to worm her way into my heart. Taylor who taught me renewed appreciation for my family, taught me about my own weaknesses and pettiness, and met all my crazy with love.

She has taught me so much. She has taught my whole family so much. About love and openness and caring. She brings light to every room she enters.

Their vows show really what real love (not the day to day imvu love) is all about. That love is fun, but real love is deep. Like Ben Affleck said, Love is Work, love is putting others first. Love is being open and sharing. Not just when its easy but when its hard, when it may hurt, and knowing your bond is strong enough to know all of you. That is something my loves have taught me, and something you both exemplify.

So I raise a glass… and maybe you’ll raise yours too. To the most amazing couple, that I have been so blessed to know and welcome into my heart, and home. To Taylor and Kait!

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kaitlynO

I'm honestly the last person that should be doing this in some ways, but there's no guide for people new to IMVU and so little information out there about this whole virtual world thing. I have made a lot of mistakes and tried to take some notes to pass on what I've learned. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.