(I am working at the returns counter. A normal-looking soccer mom-type is trying to exchange a shirt with no receipt that we do not carry any longer. Because of this, I can neither exchange nor return it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but without your receipt there’s really nothing I can do. We don’t carry that shirt anymore, and it’s not even in our system.”

Customer: “You must love it.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “The power to tell people no! You must LOVE it!” *storms off*