A modest attempt to share our new lives as the parents of twins

The Pregnancy

We found ourselves sitting in bed together at 4am that morning. We were watching last night’s episode of Ray Donovan. Mom was uncomfortable with thirst because she had to fast before the procedure, and of course, when you can’t drink, you want to drink.

I was yelled at when I tried to bring my coffee into bed. She doesn’t even drink coffee, but the idea of me drinking beside her was enough to make her even more thirsty. So I obliged. After all, it was delivery day.

Around 6am, I realized that there was a bee’s nest in the front yard that I had been meaning to deal with, and for some stupid reason, I decided that this would be the day to deal with it. I stood on our front stoop and sprayed the aerosol can into the hole in the ground, hoping to clog it and wipe out the nest.

Nope.

I managed to piss off the entire family, or colony, and a cloud of bees swarmed out and all over the front yard, making the trip to the car impossible.

Awesome.

I sent a text message to my mother-in-law, telling her to come in the back door when she arrived to take us to the hospital, and I was hoping that she wasn’t thinking that this is what she could expect from me as the father of her soon-to-be-grandchildren.

We managed to get into the car and to the hospital without being stung! Our bags, boppies, and candy were packed and on their way to the hospital.

Yes, candy.

Mom had packed lots of candy, without realizing that everyone who would pay us a visit would also bring several bags of candy to satisfy her notorious sweet tooth.

We arrived, calmly told the receptionist that we were there to give birth to two babies, and walked back to “the area where people go to have babies” for lack of a better term. It wasn’t nearly as eventful as I was hoping it would be. I mean, we were delivering twins!

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The first nurse was great. She was quick-witted and not afraid to put you in your place. She was just like my wife. The two of them got along fabulously and joked around while searching for the babies’ heartbeats and putting in Mom’s IV.

When she put in the catheter, the friendship between these two women was severed. It was painful for Mom, but she bit her lip, and kept strong like she always does.

After all, the hard part hadn’t even begun yet.

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Around week 36 of Mom’s pregnancy, she went to yet another doctor’s appointment, with no idea that our supposed timeline would be shortened. For the previous few weeks, we had our bags packed, ready to welcome these babies at any moment, but we were told that they were hanging on and probably wouldn’t be here for a while.

Both babies were head-down and ready to come naturally. That was our plan, and we prayed that she wouldn’t become one of those cases where one baby comes naturally, but the other comes via c-section.

During her 89,583rd appointment, the tech could not find the heartbeat of Baby B, our sweet boy who loved to kick Mom in the ribs. The tech shifted the wand way up on Mom’s stomach and found his heartbeat in an area of the stomach that was previously unoccupied. Playing it cool, the tech went to find the doctor.

The ultrasound revealed that Baby B had flipped. Time for a change of plans.

We were told that they were unlikely to flip, and if one did flip, she would really feel it because there wasn’t much wiggle room left. Now with one baby feet first, they decided that a c-section would be necessary, and sooner than expected. They told her to call and schedule a c-section for the following week, just like one would call to make a hair appointment. No big deal.

Megg scheduled the appointment for Monday, August 11. We told our close friends and family about the date and told them that we were going to the hospital at 11am, even though the appointment was actually for 9am. We figured that it would help to prevent constant texts and phone calls to see if the babies had arrived yet. I highly suggest following this move if you find yourself in a similar situation.

So we made the most of the weekend. Well, as much as you can make of a weekend with a woman whose belly is constantly getting in the way.

We decided to devote most of our time and energy to our dogs. I took Stella, our athletic Goldendoodle, to the park for a six mile trail run while Mom snuggled at home with our lazy bulldog, Bruiser. We took them out for the afternoon to go swimming at a state park and just tried to love them as much as possible before we had to share our attention with two new members of our household. We’ve always been great dog-parents to those two, and we swore that would never change.

We had a very nice dinner at home and tried to behave as normally as possible, despite the fact that Mom’s stomach would be sliced open in order to remove two human beings the next morning when it was time to deliver.

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I’ve gone from cute pregnant to keep it in the circus pregnant. People are either insanely nice to me, or can’t help but giving me really, really dirty looks. I had a man at Wegmans look me up and down three times and finish me off with a look of disgust on Monday. He was sweet. I considered body slamming him with my giant belly, but instead just smiled politely and made fun of his khaki shorts and sneakers in my head. Apparently I should stay in my house (probably the basement would be the best because it’s dark) as not to offend or make other people uncomfortable until this whole “pregnancy saga” is over. At any rate, doctors appointment went well (internal exam, mmm), as did the non stress test. On Tuesday, we had our car seats (four bases!) installed, so there’s that. A good friend of mine who is due the day before me was admitted to the hospital for pre-eclampsia. After running tons of tests, they’ve decided to keep her for the week, and induce at the end of next week. We’re hoping to have adjoining rooms at the hospital by next Friday. Hey, stranger things have happened, no?

How far along: 36 weeks

Total weight gain: catching up for lost time i guess- total 26 lbs.

Maternity clothes: anything that covers the majority of my stomach.

Stretch marks: zip!

Sleep: no. i haven’t slept in days. literally, days. it’s starting to catch up with me, which is very unpleasant for those around me, no doubt.

Best moment of this week: realizing I only have two possible weeks left.

Miss anything: sleep. oh sleep.

Movement: less movement, but much stronger these days. everyone loves a solid head butt to the cervix, no?

Food cravings: nah, but i have been indulging in the occasional snack (usually apples or watermelon) between 2-4am.

Anything making you queasy or sick: eating too much.

Have you started to show yet: not that i’ve noticed.

Gender: still a girl and a boy. i’m pretty sure that won’t change.

Labor signs: ha, maybe i’m missing them? hopefully?

Belly button in or out: still out.

Wedding rings on or off: they’re off and tucked away for me to forget where i put them later.