Lynne Cheney reportedly told former Sen. Alan Simpson (R-Wyo.) to 'shut your mouth' about his support for Sen. Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.), who is being challenged by Liz Cheney. (AP Photo/Antonio Calanni)

WASHINGTON -- Lynne Cheney "just unloaded" on Alan Simpson at a Wyoming event Saturday evening, the former Republican senator told The Huffington Post. Cheney was angry at Simpson for backing incumbent Sen. Mike Enzi in the Republican Party primary race against her daughter Liz Cheney.

"I was surprised at her intensity," Simpson said. "It was eyes-flashing and pretty intense."

Simpson said he explained to Cheney that he has a history with Enzi that goes back decades -- and that, in fact, Simpson is the reason Enzi is in public life at all.

"I am unqualified in my support of Mike Enzi, but it's not about Liz Cheney for God's sake," he told The Huffington Post on Tuesday. "It's about the fact that I'm the guy who talked Mike Enzi into running for public office. I met him when he was the president of the Wyoming Jaycees. I explained that to Lynne but she didn't seem to listen."

Simpson had so far not publicly endorsed anyone in the Senate race, but Cheney's outburst appears to have moved the generally outspoken former senator to speak out.

Simpson said he first met Enzi when he was in the audience for an impressive speech Enzi made as president of the Wyoming Jaycees, a civic leadership group for young people. Simpson encouraged the young man to run for public office, not even knowing what his political leanings were.

"Oddly enough, he then went back to his home and he ran for mayor and he was elected mayor and he was a wonderful mayor and helped the city of Gillette conquer some real problems with the coal industry and the influx of people. And then he ran for the Wyoming House and Senate and he was elected there and then of course he ran for my seat and he's done a magnificent job. A long, long wonderful friendship and that's what it is," Simpson said.

The Cheneys had learned about a week earlier that he was supporting Enzi, Simpson said, when Simpson's wife said so at an event attended by Liz Cheney. Lynn Cheney, he said, argued, "'But you knew Liz when she was 8 years old.' And I said, 'I know it, I love her. Dick and I campaigned together.'"

"I care about these people," he added. "I mean, Dick Cheney, nobody's gonna drive us apart. We campaigned for each other every time we ran and never lost an election. But there was a real intensity and flashing because my wife had mentioned a week ago that we were supporting Mike Enzi, and this was when the daughter Liz was there."

He added that the Cheneys were likely upset that he had declined to sign a football for them, because he was worried that it might be used for fundraising purposes.

"There was a signing of a football and I said, 'Well, I don't sign balls because if they use them for a fundraiser, then I'm uncomfortable.' Well, that didn't go over very big either," Simpson explained. "It's unfortunate, but it's not going to affect my relationship with Dick Cheney. That's as solid as a rock. And Liz, when she got in, I said I care very deeply about both these people and I have nothing more to say. But when [Lynne] just unloaded, I said, 'Well, then you don't understand my relationship with Mike Enzi, which is very, very deep. And that was that."

The flare-up first became public when Simpson's daughter-in-law, Deb Oakley Simpson, posted about it on her Facebook wall. She said Lynne Cheney told the former senator to "shut your mouth" about his support for Enzi.

In a statement, Lynne Cheney denied the brush-up, saying, "We love Al and Ann. We have been friends for over 40 years. As to the story posted on Facebook, I have to admit I am at a bit of a loss. That simply did not happen."

Simpson declined to address the specific "shut your mouth" allegation to The Huffington Post, but did say he was shocked by Cheney's approach.

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More Crazy Examples of Congressional Theatrics

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Just in case anyone forgot that the House Judiciary Committee ACORN hearing was a House Judiciary Committee hearing about ACORN, Representative Steve King (R-Iowa) helpfully brought a bucket of acorns to the House Judiciary Committee. Also that day, colleague Lamar Smith praising the "turnout so early in the day" at 2:30pm, and Louie Gohmert offering up the malaprop: “From one acorn, many nuts can grow.” Like, say, Peter King.

Credit cards. Were it not for them, we would have to save up money in order to buy things. But do some credit cards take it too far, marketing to the youths? Byron Dorgan thought so when he saw the Hello Kitty Platinum VISA. "Does it seem to you like they’re targeting that 10-year-old, the 14-year-old." Ha! He should see the Hello Kitty vibrator.

Last time out, we made mention of Representative John Shadegg's (R-Ariz.) attempt to wield a baby in order to make a point about how terrible health care reform was. We neglected to mention that Representative Pete Stark (D-Calif.) took it a step further, and attempted to bring two young children to make his own points about health care (5:25 in video), at which point the House was officially barred from trafficking in human props any further.

How much is too much stimulus? When it allows representatives to make junior high math analogies based on topography and astronomy, maybe. Here, Senator John Thune (R-S.D.) makes some stupid pictures of dollar stacks that extend into the sky, to the celestial firmament itself. “If you took 100 dollar bills, Mr. President," Thune said, "and stacked them on top of each other you would have a stack that goes 689 miles high.” He added, "In other words, if you took the 100 dollar bills and not stacked them on top of each other, but wrapped them side-by-side all around the earth… If you could believe this, it’d go around the earth almost 39 times." So, we cannot stimulate the economy, because of science! (1:15 in clip)

Representative Steve Buyer (R-Ind.) wasn't having any of that whole "regulating tobacco" stuff. Why? Because it's "not the nicotine that kills, it's the smoke!" So, he argued, why don't we regulate lettuce, to keep people from smoking lettuce? Wouldn't that prevent a "pandemic" of cancers? This would have been a good point, were it not for the non-existence of either a massive industry geared toward curing lettuce and rolling it into cigarettes, or a target market of consumers who were even remotely interested in smoking lettuce. BUT YEAH OTHER THAT ALL THAT STUFF (and the fact that nicotine is addictive) STEVE BUYER IS A GENIUS.

From Rep. Ted Poe (R-Texas): It came on two pages, It has withstood the ages. / The word "shall,'' is only 10 times mentioned, But enough to get one's attention. / No taxes did this law raise, To this day it continues to create much praise; / Two great religions does it claim, The "Law of the Ten Commandments'' is its name. / A current writing, 1,990 pages long, Has a socialist philosophy that is all wrong; / Difficult for the people to understand, And troubling what big government doth demand. / Over 3,445 "shalls'' it does loudly shout, New massive taxes does it proudly tout; / Written in secret by the bureaucrats, For exclusive use of the taxacrats. / The Congressional bill called "Health Care Reform," Is illusionary, the authors are still ill-informed; / Government ought not take over America's health biz. / And that's just the way it is."
And so, America, this is why you should have to die of easily treated medical conditions.

From the junior senator from Illinois: "It was the night before Christmas, and all through the Senate / The right held up our health care bill, no matter what was in it / The people had voted a mandated reform / But Republicans blew off the gathering storm / We'll clog up the Senate, they cried with a grin / And in the midterm elections, we'll get voted in / They knew regular folks needed help right this second / But fundraisers, lobbyists and politics beckoned / So try as they might, Democrats could not win / Because the majority was simply too thin / Then across every state there rose such a clatter / The whole senate rushed out to see what was the matter / All sprang up from their desk and ran from the floor / Straight through the cloakroom and right out the door."
There's more, but you will probably want to shoot yourself in the face after you read it.

For some reason, in the course of discussing fuel efficiency standards, Senator Chuck Grassley decided he should drive his point home by shouting out Ashton Kutcher and his movie, "Dude, Where's My Car." Prior to this, Grassley went on an extended monologue about Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album and the shards of a broken prism and the "multishades" of light. Just straight up tripping balls, in the well of the Senate. Anyway, as you now know, this TOTALLY fixed fuel efficiency standards!

Who's looking out for your precious bodily fluids? Kansas Senator Sam Brownback, that's who. And he's enlisted the help of a young girl, named Hannah, who has the power of talking to human embryos! "Are you going to kill me?" the embryos asked Hannah, who immediately scrawled a picture of this conversation on a giant piece of posterboard, so that Sam Brownback could stop people from killing the stem cells. And then Sam Brownback went on to support a bunch of wars in the Middle East!

James Inhofe (R-Batshit) hates him some gay marriage, and the gays in general. And to make his point, he carries around with him The Most Important Prop in America: a picture of his family. "As you see here, and I think this is maybe the most important prop we’ll have during the entire debate, my wife and I have been married 47 years. We have 20 kids and grandkids. I’m really proud to say that in the recorded history of our family, we’ve never had a divorce or any kind of homosexual relationship." Ha! THAT HE KNOWS OF!