The loss of our son and granddaughter

sudiepavMarch 17, 2005

I found this site quite by accident and have enjoyed so many of the gardening and home site forums. After lurking at this one for a long time, I decided I had to post. 21 months ago today, a terrible accident took the lives of our oldest boy and our granddaughter. Dave was 36 and Millie was 6. I spent the first few months in a blur, and now the depth and breadth of our grief is enormous. We function pretty well day to day, but periods of incredible sadness overwhelm us. So many things remind us of them and too many are sad and not comforting. Our daughter-in-law did everything she could to exclude us from their lives, but we did manage to have Millie visit every summer for a couple of weeks. I am so sad for all the birthdays and Christmases we missed. Our daughter-in-law remarried 3 months ago. I'm happy she is getting on with her life, but our hearts still feel so broken. The 2 things in my life that I'm grateful for are first, my husband. We have helped each other so very much, and I know that my life wouldn't be nearly as together as it is without his support and mine for him. And to think, we took each other so for granted before all this. Our other blessing is our 2nd granddaughter, born to our second son just 2 weeks before Dave and Millie died. Sarah and her parents live close by and we see her all the time...we are so very grateful. We also have a third boy who lives out of town. It was at his wedding in December of 2002 that we last saw and spent time with Dave and Millie, and of course Dave's wife, Melissa. I am so thankful for that happy time. Losing a child has got to be the worst agony a parent can bear. Losing a grandchild at the same time seems almost more than we could take. We're managing though, and trying so hard to be happy for our blessings. It is very, very difficult.

sudiepav - I am so sorry for your losses. I can not even imagine what it must be like for you and your husband. You are very lucky and blessed that it did bring you closer together. There are many times that such tragedy has the opposite impact on people.

Thanks for sharing. I am having a sad day missing my mother, but your post reminded me of our wonderful times together, and her time had come. I feel so very sorry for your loss--a child and a grandchild. It's a tragedy for sure. I wish I had words to take away some of your pain. Take care, and love those grandkids.

sudiepav I am so sorry to hear of your loss, we too lost our only son on Sept 27/04 at the age of 34. Before I always planned things now I only live for today, tomorrow is another day. Hearing your story I say what a loss a son and grandchild. I did lose a neice she was 21 my brothers daughter, and my mom passed away 5 years ago but nothing prepared me for this. Nothing prepares us for the loss of our children and our grand children hold a special spot in our hearts. My son had 2 boys and luckly his wife still keeps in touch even though they were separated at the time of his death. I congratulate you on such courage you have and pray for you both. I know there must be a long chain of prayers going on for me and my husband because it gets us though everyday. Take Care Darlene