I need to run a metaphysical/spiritual live update, how do I explain this to my boss?

Question by Rez: I need to run a metaphysical/spiritual live update, how do I explain this to my boss?
I ran a scan in my mind this morning during the two hour run to work and it came back with a list of about two dozen adware/spyware threats in my head. I need a live update. I’m slowing down considerably and my virtual memory is low.
How do I translate this malady into words that will make my boss understand it as a physical ailment so I don’t have to stay here today?

6 Responses to I need to run a metaphysical/spiritual live update, how do I explain this to my boss?

The only explanation you can give (and this is NOT to be rude or insulting, but putting this stuff in layman’s terms), the only thing you can tell your boss is that you need to check yourself into a mental institute because you’re having a mental breakdown and losing touch with reality. (This is what you would say if you were translating your computer jargon into plain English.)

I’m sorry to hear of your failing mental capabilities, and I sure hope things improve for you quickly. Good luck – and again, this is NOT intended to be insulting or offensive; just a translation into more commonly used English terminology.

The fact that I would run for two hours just to get to this job is indicative enough of my fragile mental state. However, my instability is further exacerbated by ocular hallucinations consisting of pop-up ads that promise a larger package in 2 weeks. Please allow me to take the day off with pay, and I’ll promise not to tell your wife about our office romance.

Being spiritual at work, in thought and action, in feelings and conduct, would percolate into others nearby and bring about changes for good in self and others, in all concerned. Let us not bother about boss, we being spiritual there will take care of everything!