7-11 Now Serving Mashed Potato Slurpee

In “Oh my god just put it in my mouth” news, 7-11 is now serving mashed potatoes and chicken gravy from a Slurpee style machine. Damn yeah, I’m gonna drink it through a straw! Who needs cutlery? People who don’t know the meaning of efficiency, that’s who! Man, I haven’t seen such a significant step in the convenient food industry since Pizza Rolls. And for just $2 you can get a cup of mashed potatoes and a Big Gulp — that’s a STEAL! It oughta be illegal.