Goodreads

Category: Making Amends

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

BiblicalComparison: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” – Luke 6:31

Protected behind presumably bullet-proof, fire-proof glass, there it was – one of 14 original official copies of the Bill of Rights to the Constitution of the United States.

My husband had surprised me by taking me to our local museum where it was showcased as part of a national tour. I’m a hopeless history nerd; it was a very thoughtful surprise.

Leading up to case that displayed the bill were velvet ropes with tassels on the posts. It was all so fancy. You knew you were headed for something special just walking towards it.

The Constitution was an incredible and liberty-bestowing document, but it needed amending to increase the freedoms in America. It doesn’t take away from the original document to be amended. Rather, it adds value.

The definition of ‘amend’ is:

Change, modify, reform.

Remedy. Revise. Alter.

Correct. Enhance. Improve.

Mend. Reform. Repair.

The definition of ‘amendment’ is: An alteration or addition.

Making a list of persons we have harmed is hard enough, but being willing to make amends to them all is even harder. By taking pen to paper and making your list, it’s important to include each:

Person who has been harmed as a result of your active addiction

Memories of harm done

Thoughts resulting from the harm – perhaps the thoughts that are continuing to haunt you as a result

Intentions you now have in making things right

Amends that you can make to help repair the damage

Making amends with those you’ve harmed is not a privilege for the more spiritually enlightened among us, but a right as a person in recovery. Making amends increases your freedom.

It’s easy to get stuck here on Step Eight.

There might be relationships that survive addiction that will not survive recovery. Step Eight work is not about extending the amends yet, but about becoming willing to make them. You are setting up the velvet ropes to healing relationships, and letting others in on making history in your recovery.

Step Eight is change, modification, revision or correction to bring about an alteration or addition to your spirit.

It’s not about taking away from what’s been done to you, but owning what you’ve done to others.