I wont move with him

I've told my husband before that I can't live more than an hour away from my family. I can't stand to not be near my mom, and I know she would be extremely upset if I were to move. I also will not take my daughter away from her grandparents by moving. I'm not sure my husband knows how serious I am. I'm not happy enough with him to leave my family. They are my support system. If I were to move I would get super depressed only being with him all the time. I'm feel strongly enough about this that I consider this a deal breaker. As in divorce. I just cant move too far away. Anyone feel the same way?

I've told my husband before that I can't live more than an hour away from my family. I can't stand to not be near my mom, and I know she would be extremely upset if I were to move. I also will not take my daughter away from her grandparents by moving. I'm not sure my husband knows how serious I am. I'm not happy enough with him to leave my family. They are my support system. If I were to move I would get super depressed only being with him all the time. I'm feel strongly enough about this that I consider this a deal breaker. As in divorce. I just cant move too far away. Anyone feel the same way?

100% disagree. You husband should be your support system not your Mother, your married. If my DH had to move to the Northpole I'm going and he knows it. What do you think your sayin' to your husband by saying that. To me,"I'm selfish and its about me a my Mommy." Why does your husband want to move or need to move? If its just because then thats one thing. If its for employment, cheaper house,better schools, etc your being selfish its not like an hour is far. I live an hour from my parents and we still see eachother on a weekly basis.How much time do you spend with your Mom? P.S. Your husband should be the one person you would move for. It's not like a new boyfriend or something, right?

<<<< Just one person's opinion.

100% disagree. You husband should be your support system not your Mother, your married. If my DH had to move to the Northpole I'm going and he knows it. What do you think your sayin' to your husband by saying that. To me,"I'm selfish and its about me a my Mommy." Why does your husband want to move or need to move? If its just because then thats one thing. If its for employment, cheaper house,better schools, etc your being selfish its not like an hour is far. I live an hour from my parents and we still see eachother on a weekly basis.How much time do you spend with your Mom? P.S. Your husband should be the one person you would move for. It's not like a new boyfriend or something, right?

I know exactly what you mean. I moved 1200 miles away from my family to be with my husband (then boyfriend) he's in the military. We didn't have any kids yet, I lived there for 6 months and I was extremely depressed, I hated it so much. I am also very close to my family, and my depression there made our relationship suffer. Now I'm 7 months pregnant and back with my parents until he transfers to an army base that is only 120 miles away from my family, which I can handle much easier. I would never take my son away from his whole family, and it is the first grandchild. So no way! So I know exactly where you're coming from.

I know exactly what you mean. I moved 1200 miles away from my family to be with my husband (then boyfriend) he's in the military. We didn't have any kids yet, I lived there for 6 months and I was extremely depressed, I hated it so much. I am also very close to my family, and my depression there made our relationship suffer. Now I'm 7 months pregnant and back with my parents until he transfers to an army base that is only 120 miles away from my family, which I can handle much easier. I would never take my son away from his whole family, and it is the first grandchild. So no way! So I know exactly where you're coming from.

you will not take your daughter away from her grandparents but you would take her away from her father? my parents are divorced and if i learned it was because my mom did not want to move away from her parents, i honestly would be furious. you and your dh needs to do whats best for your family.

you will not take your daughter away from her grandparents but you would take her away from her father? my parents are divorced and if i learned it was because my mom did not want to move away from her parents, i honestly would be furious. you and your dh needs to do whats best for your family.

So you'd rather divorce your husband and deal with the drama of your kid living in two houses rather than sucking it up and driving one hour to your mom's house?

I think you've got the whole balance of the dramas wrong here, if I may say so myself.

How about cutting the mommy cords, realize that it's only an HOUR away, and support your husbuand, who, you know, you MARRIED, probably with the vow in there "Better or Worse" and "'Til Death Do You Part" and all that jazz.

My wife lived 3 hours away before she moved in with me.

I saw her every other weekend.

Her mom is 3 hours away. Me and our daughter are the only 'solid' net she has here. And while it's hard sometimes, she's warming up to my friends and feels comfortable with them and she's doing just fine.

Less temper tantrums, more sucking it up and being a big girl.

Wow.

So you'd rather divorce your husband and deal with the drama of your kid living in two houses rather than sucking it up and driving one hour to your mom's house?

I think you've got the whole balance of the dramas wrong here, if I may say so myself.

How about cutting the mommy cords, realize that it's only an HOUR away, and support your husbuand, who, you know, you MARRIED, probably with the vow in there "Better or Worse" and "'Til Death Do You Part" and all that jazz.

My wife lived 3 hours away before she moved in with me.

I saw her every other weekend.

Her mom is 3 hours away. Me and our daughter are the only 'solid' net she has here. And while it's hard sometimes, she's warming up to my friends and feels comfortable with them and she's doing just fine.

Agree with everything Continually said. Your post screams childish. An hour away is nothing! I am very much a mama's girl but I moved from San Diego to Temecula when I was 18, about an hour worth of driving, sans mommy. We talked on the phone every day and I visited on weekends usually. I didn't know anyone in Temecula except my boyfriend. I can't believe you wouldn't move for your HUSBAND and would rather separate him from his daughter. Ridiculous.

Agree with everything Continually said. Your post screams childish. An hour away is nothing! I am very much a mama's girl but I moved from San Diego to Temecula when I was 18, about an hour worth of driving, sans mommy. We talked on the phone every day and I visited on weekends usually. I didn't know anyone in Temecula except my boyfriend. I can't believe you wouldn't move for your HUSBAND and would rather separate him from his daughter. Ridiculous.

Eh, sorry, I just reread your post and saw that you said you won't move MORE than an hour away. Either way, I still stand by what I said. When you marry, your spouse becomes your family. Support your husband.

Eh, sorry, I just reread your post and saw that you said you won't move MORE than an hour away. Either way, I still stand by what I said. When you marry, your spouse becomes your family. Support your husband.

I'm sorry but I don't agree with your post however I do understand it. I moved 8 hours away from my family for my husband and i have never regretted it for a second, my husband is one of the best things in my life. I understand that you will miss your mum, I used to see mine everyday, and it will be hard to begin with but you adjust. I speak with my mum everyday still but just by phone, we are still as close as we were :)If I were you then I would really have a sit down and think about the consequences of not even considering it, if you divorce over this and split your family up because of this then I'm worried that you will regret it. So please don't make any rash decisions and think very carefully.Best of luck with your decision x

I'm sorry but I don't agree with your post however I do understand it. I moved 8 hours away from my family for my husband and i have never regretted it for a second, my husband is one of the best things in my life. I understand that you will miss your mum, I used to see mine everyday, and it will be hard to begin with but you adjust. I speak with my mum everyday still but just by phone, we are still as close as we were :)If I were you then I would really have a sit down and think about the consequences of not even considering it, if you divorce over this and split your family up because of this then I'm worried that you will regret it. So please don't make any rash decisions and think very carefully.Best of luck with your decision x

Our parents are dead now and DH and I only have each other. One day our kids will grow up and leave home to live their own lives. And we will once again only have each other. Since our baby was born 19 weeks ago, my DH has been diagnosed with quite an aggressive cancer and he is very very sick. I am so glad I put him first and will continue to do so for as long as he lives. My point is that you never know what's around the corner. Love and respect your husband if he is a good man. You owe it to your children. A good parent will understand.

Our parents are dead now and DH and I only have each other. One day our kids will grow up and leave home to live their own lives. And we will once again only have each other. Since our baby was born 19 weeks ago, my DH has been diagnosed with quite an aggressive cancer and he is very very sick. I am so glad I put him first and will continue to do so for as long as he lives. My point is that you never know what's around the corner. Love and respect your husband if he is a good man. You owe it to your children. A good parent will understand.

Sounds like you are young and should have never got married in the first place. It baffles me that you're worried about taking your daughter away from her grandparents but would have no qualms in taking her away from her father! You seriously need to evaluate your priorities and it sounds like you need to do some growing up. Your husband should be your number one, not your mother.

Sounds like you are young and should have never got married in the first place. It baffles me that you're worried about taking your daughter away from her grandparents but would have no qualms in taking her away from her father! You seriously need to evaluate your priorities and it sounds like you need to do some growing up. Your husband should be your number one, not your mother.

Not at all, but then I willingly and happily joined the military to get away from my suffocating and hostile (to each other) parents. The closest I've lived to them since I was 18 is a three hour drive. I love it. My husband is my best friend and most supportive family member so far as not judging me for my choices, letting me make my own decisions without worrying more than normal what will happen next (my mom still treats me like I can't do anything by myself, and I'm 28!), supporting my decisions, etc. As long as I have him, I don't care where we're living!

Not at all, but then I willingly and happily joined the military to get away from my suffocating and hostile (to each other) parents. The closest I've lived to them since I was 18 is a three hour drive. I love it. My husband is my best friend and most supportive family member so far as not judging me for my choices, letting me make my own decisions without worrying more than normal what will happen next (my mom still treats me like I can't do anything by myself, and I'm 28!), supporting my decisions, etc. As long as I have him, I don't care where we're living!

I don't like living far away from family, but I love my husband and knew when I married a Marine that the chances of us living close to family were extremely small. I really wish I could see my mom and the rest of my family every day, but in the end, loving my husband means being with him no matter what. I think saying that you would rather go through a divorce than move far away is immature and selfish. Yes, family is important, but when you got married and had a child you started a new family. And that new family is the one you should want to surround yourself with.

I don't like living far away from family, but I love my husband and knew when I married a Marine that the chances of us living close to family were extremely small. I really wish I could see my mom and the rest of my family every day, but in the end, loving my husband means being with him no matter what. I think saying that you would rather go through a divorce than move far away is immature and selfish. Yes, family is important, but when you got married and had a child you started a new family. And that new family is the one you should want to surround yourself with.

Thanks for your responses, even tho most of you think I'm being selfish. For one thing, I said I wouldn't move more than an hour away. Maybe that could be extended a little bit,, but I wouldnt want to move so far that visiting every week would be impossible. I definitely would not be able to move across the country. My husband is a good guy but sometimes he's a jerk and he's dealing with depression and haring his job. So his mood is taking a toll on hour relationship and how I feel about him, and making me feel like I wouldn't be able to handle moving far away with him because I use my family and friends to keep me sane right now...

Thanks for your responses, even tho most of you think I'm being selfish. For one thing, I said I wouldn't move more than an hour away. Maybe that could be extended a little bit,, but I wouldnt want to move so far that visiting every week would be impossible. I definitely would not be able to move across the country. My husband is a good guy but sometimes he's a jerk and he's dealing with depression and haring his job. So his mood is taking a toll on hour relationship and how I feel about him, and making me feel like I wouldn't be able to handle moving far away with him because I use my family and friends to keep me sane right now...

Then try looking at the source of his problems and work on that weak point in your relationship. Not wanting to move far might be showing you something is wrong. I know losing the support system is scary- I moved a 10 hour flight from home to be with bf, but I still talk on the phone to family everyday it almost. Also consider the move could be an adventure, and it doesnt have to be forever. In a year or two you could both realize it's great or that it's not. GL

Then try looking at the source of his problems and work on that weak point in your relationship. Not wanting to move far might be showing you something is wrong. I know losing the support system is scary- I moved a 10 hour flight from home to be with bf, but I still talk on the phone to family everyday it almost. Also consider the move could be an adventure, and it doesnt have to be forever. In a year or two you could both realize it's great or that it's not. GL

You would sooner take her father from her than grandparents?! He is not abusive? Only depressed? Ok all that info, never thought I would say this but I hope he takes custody from you. If you are willing to do that to your child then you don't deserve her. Oh and btw, some states would give him full custody just because of that.

You would sooner take her father from her than grandparents?! He is not abusive? Only depressed? Ok all that info, never thought I would say this but I hope he takes custody from you. If you are willing to do that to your child then you don't deserve her. Oh and btw, some states would give him full custody just because of that.

Ever heard of a phone? It's this device that allows you to talk to people when you live more then an hour away from you. My mother has only seen my 6 OS 2 times in his life, my DD never. I speak to her on the phone maybe once a month. Do I miss her? Yes. But I'm an adult and I have a family to take care of so I moved on. Divorce over an hour? That's completely ridiculous.

Ever heard of a phone? It's this device that allows you to talk to people when you live more then an hour away from you. My mother has only seen my 6 OS 2 times in his life, my DD never. I speak to her on the phone maybe once a month. Do I miss her? Yes. But I'm an adult and I have a family to take care of so I moved on. Divorce over an hour? That's completely ridiculous.

I know what ur going through. I moved back with my parents after living with my bf for 6 months his depression was taking a toll on us. and also my separation from my parents even though I lived 5 min away!!! im sorry, my children, my parents, siblings come first than my partner. partners can come and go but ur support system will never abandon u. at least I feel that way. good luck.

I know what ur going through. I moved back with my parents after living with my bf for 6 months his depression was taking a toll on us. and also my separation from my parents even though I lived 5 min away!!! im sorry, my children, my parents, siblings come first than my partner. partners can come and go but ur support system will never abandon u. at least I feel that way. good luck.

A boyfriend is different than husband. Husband has made a commitment believing it to be mutual. And if your child comes first then you should realize they need both parents more than any grandparent, aunt or uncle. That is wrong to do to a child and you shouldn't have kids if you are gonna put your own selfish wants above their NEEDS.

A boyfriend is different than husband. Husband has made a commitment believing it to be mutual. And if your child comes first then you should realize they need both parents more than any grandparent, aunt or uncle. That is wrong to do to a child and you shouldn't have kids if you are gonna put your own selfish wants above their NEEDS.

How are you going to support your child financially if you leave her father? I am just curious. And it doesn't matter if you just got married for the insurance, he is her Daddy and all children deserve an involved parent. This post makes me very sad. My son may grow up without his Daddy through no choice of our own. I cannot imagine anyone taking a child away from a good parent. Were he abusive, by all means go. But if he isn't, regardless of what type of relationship you yourself have with him, to take his child away from him, and your child's Daddy away from her...well, I am truly very very sad for you and your LO.

How are you going to support your child financially if you leave her father? I am just curious. And it doesn't matter if you just got married for the insurance, he is her Daddy and all children deserve an involved parent. This post makes me very sad. My son may grow up without his Daddy through no choice of our own. I cannot imagine anyone taking a child away from a good parent. Were he abusive, by all means go. But if he isn't, regardless of what type of relationship you yourself have with him, to take his child away from him, and your child's Daddy away from her...well, I am truly very very sad for you and your LO.

"partners come and go"? When you get married you make a commitment for life. In a marriage your partner won't 'come and go' Even if you're not married, that person is in your life forever as the parent of your child, whether you like it or not. Taking your child away from one of their parents because you don't want to live that far away from your family is selfish. If there are other reasons for a divorce that's one thing, but not wanting to move far away is a ridiculous reason to leave your husband. Ridiculous and selfish.

"partners come and go"? When you get married you make a commitment for life. In a marriage your partner won't 'come and go' Even if you're not married, that person is in your life forever as the parent of your child, whether you like it or not. Taking your child away from one of their parents because you don't want to live that far away from your family is selfish. If there are other reasons for a divorce that's one thing, but not wanting to move far away is a ridiculous reason to leave your husband. Ridiculous and selfish.

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