Posts Tagged ‘Ponce de Leon’

Mme. Blahblatsky and the Talking Mongoose recarp St. Augustine Lighthouse, episode 19 of the second season of the putative reality show Ghost Hunters, in which a couple of fake plumbers continue their attempts to become paranormal answer to Penn and Teller.

MB: Hey – what did you do to that lighthouse?

TM: I shortened it, for Steve and his acrophobia.

MB: How thoughtful.

Soit’s been a while since we’ve done this. The Talking Mongoose has been nagging me (Mme. Blahblatsky, the default secretary of the Ouija Board), insinuating that we are missing out on some fabu stuff by abandoning ship in the middle of the second season. There’s no way I’m going to continue to transcribe every single asinine episode, but I’ve consented to do a few select ones. The Talking Mongoose promises this one makes up for the other lighthouse episodes.

TM: I did not. I said it might.

MB: I thought there was going to be a real ghost!

TM: I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. Who can tell?

MB: There’d better be.

Disclaimer: Sole proprietorship and full blame for the quoted dialogue belongs to Pilgrim Films & Television, Inc., who saw fit to disseminate it on the public airwaves. We still think they’ve got an illegal dump for the out-takes somewhere off Block Island.

Announcer: On this episode of Ghost Hunters, TAPS hunts for spirits in Florida’s oldest lighthouse. Will Steve’s fear of heights hamper the investigation? And what has the team frantically running up the stairs?

There is a lot of fast-cut commotion. Then Brian issues the singular judgment: “This is the Mona Lisa of all paranormal activity.”

MB: Well, that’s all I need. I’m in.

TM: I told you so.

The old credits roll, with everyone trying to look extra-dashing and earnest.

TM: Look! Donna is still the case manager.

MB: And Brian has been reduced to a mere investigator, but why is Dave still an investigator-in-training when he’s the only one who figured out the Queen Mary hoax?

TM: That would be why!

MB: Oh. Look. Race Rock Lighthouse, when we were all younger and stupider.