The Trent doll is seen sitting in a wooden doll-size chair on top of an identical child-size chair that is on top of a normal-size wooden chair—so that he is raised with the chairs appearing in a Russian Doll theme. The chairs are downstage left. A spotlight illuminates Trent. He is wearing a smoking jacket with a cravat. The offstage voice of Trent is heard throughout the slides. The slides correspond with the text below.

TRENT (offstage voice)

Allow me to introduce myself. Or don’t you know me? I have been an admirer of yourself for quite a long time. A very protracted time. And I would like to get better acquainted…
Hello.

Did I not say my name? It is Trent. Relax. Come, come sit by me at my desk. Would you like coffee? Or would you like to get something for me? Would that make you feel comfy? Superb!

I have been watching you and thinking about you, you make me feel quite the rogue! With thoughts of you I am always wooden. Literally. I am made of wood …

And I have disguised myself so many times so that I may see you more closely and smell your smell, see your tendrils up close. Do you remember seeing this man walking behind you in the town? Or at the supermarket? Or in the restroom at work? That was me, as you can plainly see! A rogue and a scoundrel in a mask – all for you! And you always ran away, my little coquette!

Won’t you come upstairs with me? There are things I’d like to do. I’d like caress you and put my little wooden tongue in your mouth (and your mouth would be quite huge, since I am a doll man). Will you do that? Don’t be reticent or retiring, my little coy flower! Why must you tease me so? Come. This way. To my little nest, my bird…

Does this entice you, my precious little coy lamb’s woolly pretty thingy? Do you like what you see? I am quite chiselled and … satisfied. Let me show you how much I care. It is no matter that I am 15 inches and you are 62 inches. Size does not matter to me. You will always be delicate in my eyes and I have no fear of you breaking me! Come. Come to me.

K.D. Halpin is an Irish/American writer residing in Massachusetts and Northern Ireland. Plays she has co-authored with Sleeveless Theatre have been toured throughout the U.S. Her plays Weird Without Apology and Sin Eaters have been performed/stage-read in Northampton, MA and Belfast, N.Ireland.

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Tristram Stjohn Bexindale-Webb, editor-in-chief

"I am the best judge of all things." Which is why Mr. Bexindale-Webb (knighthood pending) had appointed himself the review's Editor-in-Chief – and has been thus for the past 147 years. He is the brainchild behind The Good Ear Review and without him many urchins would be acquiring their Chimney Maintenance Certification instead of fetching his house slippers and proofing complex sentences.