Admitting My Fears

I am scared everyday. I am scared by the lack of leadership and coherence. I am scared by the lack of unity. I am scared that there’s no vaccine and not enough tests for this virus. I am scared of the halt to most filming. I am scared for loved ones who live in states where social distancing isn’t respected. I am scared when I sneeze or cough, or feel just plain icky.

Once again, it’s time to inventory what I can and cannot control.

I can lead by example by social distancing and wearing masks and gloves. I can post about what I am doing to stop the spread of this virus. I can set a standard for my family to follow and take proper precautions.

I can choose not to add to the din of social media right now. I can choose not to attack my neighbors, friends and strangers online or offline. I can choose to add helpful, factual information from credible sources and actionable tips and advice. An ignorant person has to choose not to remain ignorant. I can instruct the ignorant, but its not my place to scold or punish those who are willfully and dangerously ignorant.

I am not a scientist. I choose to trust the science and the scientists, doctors and nurses. When I need expert advice, I take it.

Many of our industries will bounce back after a time. It may not be on my preferred timeline, and there will be changes, but the film industry is resilient. I am resilient and I will adapt as best I can to the changes that will inevitably take place.

I cannot choose the actions or inaction of the federal, states or local governments. I can share what I know to be true with my family. They can make their choices in accordance with their local laws. I may not like what other states are or aren’t doing, but I believe in democracy and I believe people DO get the government they DESERVE. If you believe you deserve better, vote and act differently.

I can keep my risk of contracting COVID-19 down by maintaining social distance, washing my hands, disinfecting surfaces and keeping myself minimally stressed. A sneeze is not a death sentence.

When we keep facing our fears, we can be more honest with ourselves. There is no “okay” right now. It’s okay to be “not okay”. However, we can’t just let our fears spin around in our monkey minds. We need to get curious about them, like we would a new, intriguing species or a first date.

I’ve found Therapeer to be a free, valuable resource to discuss your COVID-19 fears with supportive peers.