Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

I'm scared ...

I recently got a CT scan done (I sustained a head injury in a car accident) and it came up that I have hypodensity white matter in my left hemisphere. I've tried googling it but everything I come up with is too technical for me to understand. I've also had abnormal MRIs, MRAs, and so on. My brain activity is also abnormal. Has anyone else had any of these scans and do they come up abnormal? Is this something to be expected of a mental illness, or is it indicative of something else? I don't have brain cancer, I don't have a brain lesion, that's about all the doctors have come up with. I really can't afford to get this checked out any further, we're talking $1000 a pop with insurance (I'm earning about $8,000 annually less 2 grand for pills and therapy). I'm really starting to get scared. I try to be flippant and say my brain is Abi-normal (my name's abigail) and that's what makes me so smart (S-M-R-T!) But I feel the facade weakening. Someone, please respond.

Hi you misplaced New Yorker.
Could it be just something that will clear up in time? Maybe it was a result of the accident? I've got to go out, right now, but when I come home, I'll take a look online and see what I can come up with.

I haven't even been diagnosed with bp, I'm just on all the pills associated with it (and I'm sorry if I'm not welcome here) This all started in July of 2005; I started to have fits of rage for no apparent reason and other things associated with hypomania (I won't go into detail, this is long enough as is) That's when all of the MRIs/MRAs/EEGs/EKGs started, all came back abnormal. I couldn't afford to get anymore checked out. I've been on Abilfy, Rispirderal, and now Perphenazine since then, and they've helped ... about as much as the antidepressants help for the depression. Abilfy + Lexapro = the best I'd felt in years, but I couldn't afford it. And now I have this abnormal CT scan, and I'm only 26, and I fear there is something seriously wrong.

I reasearched this some, and everything I came across said this finding was linked to stroke or demenita. Sources said the latter could be temporary and/or trauma induced. Is there any more info you can give? Maybe symptoms that prompted the scans?

Abi-normal is a great description! Is there some reason that you can't sit down with your doctor and have them explain this all to you? I personally wouldn't be scared, I'd be terrified! I searched and found one page that had a lot of information. They talk about the sensitivity of some tests (MRI,CT) and how it's difficult to interpret the results. They talk about how indicators have been found in people not suffering from any negative neurological difficulty. And the final analysis is that more research is needed. I'd sure push for details and answers, but don't borrow trouble by imagining the worst and worrying. I've never had any of these scans so I don't know what to say except don't let that facade crumble. Do the best you can and take care of yourself! I'm on your side!

Symptoms that promoted the scans were basically fits of rage, specifically in public places; always triggered by something that already got my dander up (consumerism, anti-environmentalists, etc.) but I was out of control. I threw things, got the cops called on me, stuff like that, and I used to be a really reserved person, its like I just snapped. I was in the process of loosing my job (and lost it) and my folks helped me out getting the preliminary scans. They gave me a MiniMaltz (sp???) test and it came back that there was something biological. Specifically a tumor or a lesion. Neither was a go. Therefore, I was put on Zoloft and Rispideral. Got a new doc, put on Abilify and Lexapro. Couldn't afford it, on Perphenazine. Still haven't been diagnosed with anything since I was 12 with Major Clinical Depression. And something is just not right, I'm not who I used to be. BTW, I've never experienced head trauma (besides this accident)

By answering the questions I asked, we have ruled out several diseases that could cause this finding. I did find a comprehensive article that supports the presence of Hypodensity white matter in the left hemisphere in mentally ill patients. It also cites erratic changes in behavior consistent with mania in Bipolar persons or those with other affective disorders. I will be glad to send you the link if you like! Hope this helps! Hugs~

cant help but think about crying and the life I had before my “friends” stabbed me in the back

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