FAQ: Fraternity Edition

Let’s face it, unless you’re currently in a fraternity, you don’t know shit about one. Seriously, Greek life has and always will remain private and exclusive. And fuck, we like it that way. Well, for all you naive youngsters chomping at the bits to join the greatest unified group of bros in the world, we’re here to help. Let’s take a look at some of the most common questions revolving around fraternities and pledgeship. With a little advice, you just might survive. Don’t hesitate to shoot me an email at PledgeMaster@PledgingSucks.com if you have any other questions. As always, sound off in the comments below.

I apologize for breaking the trend of hardass remarks, posts and comments, but I’ll be answering each and every question with honesty and humility. In other words, I’m not gunna rain on your GDI parade for asking what fraternities don’t haze. As much as I’d like to call every guy a complete bitch for not pledging the hardest and most badass frats, I know for a fact that the majority of Greek life has their own way of doing things. On that note, let the honesty and lack of comic parody begin:

Do fraternities haze?

Almost all fraternities haze to a certain extent. There are levels of hazing that fraternities partake in. No matter what fraternity you’re in, you’ll have to memorize something. A lot of people don’t understand the definition of hazing. To a university, making a pledge drink a glass of water is considered hazing. Ask around, it’s pretty common knowledge on campus which fraternities are rougher than others.

How long is pledgeship?

Universities usually enforce a strict deadline with pledgeship. Somewhere around 9 weeks is the norm. Yet, the easier fraternities will cut it way shorter. Some of the sketchier fraternities may push pledgeship into two semesters (15+ weeks). It’s all politics. The Greek system is no different than government, except they like to party.

Are there gay fraternities?

There aren’t any “gay-only” frats, but there are a ton of “gay-friendly” frats. If you’re gay, don’t hold it in. The biggest mistake would be joining a frat and not letting them know.

Will I fail out of college if I pledge?

It’s definitely a possibility, it just depends on who you are. As much as I’d like to say that I’m a hardcore partier, I know what’s up with real life. My advice, wait a semester to pledge if you’re worried about it. Understand what college life is all about, and see if you could handle it. Pledgeship is like a 10 credit course. A small minority fail out of college due to the Greek system, but it’s still a decent percentage. Be careful, and know your limits.

Are there non-partying fraternities?

Unfortunately, yes. There are fraternities for everything. Math frats, business frats, ethnic frats, you name it. Do some research, and don’t be afraid to hit up some blogs. That’s where the real opinions surface.

Do I have any friends while pledging?

Your pledge class will be your friends. There aren’t many, and you’ll definitely be overwhelmed by the Brotherhood, but that’s why you’ll get so close. Your Pledge Master or Pledge Trainer will guide the way. There will definitely be a few brothers who take the role as the asshole of the brotherhood.

Are there fraternities that don’t haze?

Yes, to an extent. There are fraternities that won’t do anything to their pledge class. Apart from making you learn the Brotherhood’s history, the age-old stereotype of hazing doesn’t always happen in a select number of fraternities. Fraternities that don’t haze are definitely in the minority.

What is the time commitment of pledging?

Pledgeship is like a 10-credit course. You’ll devote many hours a day to pledging. You’ll have to study, work, and lose a good amount of sleep over it. It’s hard to put an overall time-stamp onto it. It’s all relative as to what fraternity you pledge as well. Ask around and don’t be afraid to ask the brothers themselves. They don’t want to bid up a kid who’s going to puss out in the first week.

Do frat guys really fuck chicks every night?

As much as I’d like to say yes, this is not true at all. When you’re in middle school or high school, you have these sugarplums dancing in your head with insane frat parties, naked chicks, unlimited amounts of alcohol, etc. Granted, a ton of this is definitely true. But, you’re not going to get laid every night. It’s all about how hard you try, how much you go out, etc. By no means is frat life boring at all, but no, you’re not getting laid on a nightly basis.

What if I want to quit in the middle of pledging?

There’s an open-door policy for every fraternity. You can ALWAYS quit, no matter how early or late you are into pledgeship. My advice is that once you’re about half-way through pledgeship, there’s no point in quitting no matter how hard it gets. There’s a lesson to be learned though, never quit and rat on the Brotherhood. You signed up for pledgeship, so don’t go crying to mommy and daddy if you can’t get through it. If you do quit, let go like a man and walk away silently.

How many other guys will be in my pledge class?

If you’re pledging in the fall, which a majority of Greeks do, you’re looking at a pledge class in the 20’s. I’m speaking about larger public universities. Obviously, if you go to a small school, the number could be peanuts. In the spring, the number drops significantly. Take the University of Georgia for instance. Fall pledge classes will be around 25, and spring around 15. Again, private schools are completely different.

How much partying actually goes on in a fraternity?

If you’re in the right one, a shit ton. The amount of partying is all relative to which fraternity you join. There are Animal House frats, and there are math-club frats. It just depends what you’re looking for. But hey who wouldn’t be looking for a party?

I’ve heard sororities can get pretty competitive as far as getting in goes, so I was wondering if it was just as hard to get a bid to a frat fyi I’m goin to uga in the fall

Ford1 says 6 years ago

If I attend a school that does not have greek life (NPHC), can I pledge through another school’s chapter.

PledgeMaster says 6 years ago

Ford1 — In most cases, no. If fraternities are a University affiliated organization (as most are), then enrollment in that University if required for all fraternities.

Yet, if you join an “underground” fraternity, or in other words a fraternity who is not officially affiliated with the University, you should not have a problem (assuming the brotherhood is okay with you not being a student).

It’s all about who has the power to make the decision.

Anonymous says 6 years ago

God you sound like such a douchebag

colonel236 says 6 years ago

Do I have to pay my membership fees before or after I’m done pledging?

PledgeMaster says 6 years ago

As a pledge, you will pay fees before, during and after pledgeship. The fees as a pledge are much higher than those of a brother solely because of the costs of pledgeship. If you’re asking specifically about “membership” fees, then you have to pay those every semester. Some fraternities make you pay it immediately, while others have payment options. You just need to ask your specific fraternity.

Spencer315 says 6 years ago

When I turned 18 me and my father joined a group not fully knowing that they where considered a fraternity(K of C). After the first meeting we stopped attending, but we continued to recieve email from them and they sent us a bill which we did not pay and told them we were no longer interested in being apart of their group. Since then we have heard nothing from them. Three years later I am now looking into d9 fraternities and am considering some. Will my previous affiliation prevent me from joining?

PledgeMaster says 6 years ago

Spencer: what exactly is K of C? and d9? Please be specific, as this will determine your eligibility. If you were never “initiated” into your first fraternity, then you are eligible to join the other. As a side note, there really isn’t any proof that a person has joined a fraternity before. Yet, there is an oath when joining a new fraternity that you have not joined another one before.

Spencer315 says 6 years ago

No it is not D9 nor is it apart of greek life. It is a caltholic fraternity. And I guess there was some sort of initiatian at the first meeting which had us confused and we did not fully understand what happened. I believe there was more than one meeting we needed to attend, but I cant really remember it was over 3 years ago. But like I said we never paid for membership, we attended one meeting, and we told them we don’t want to be apart of it.

PledgeMaster says 6 years ago

Spencer: you are fine. feel free to join another fraternity. it sounds like you were included in an “orientation” of sorts for KofC, but not an initiation. fraternities do not initiate on the first day. additionally, you did not sign any papers. enjoy your search for a new fraternity!

Spencer315 says 6 years ago

Thanks I guess I will continue my search. My dad and I did however filled out paper prior to the meeting, but I guess I should just get in contact with k of C to be sure. Anyways I appreciate your yelp Thank you once again.

[…] you’re worried about hazing, don’t be. While I can’t speak for every fraternity on every campus in the nation, as […]

interest says 5 years ago

I doubt you can answer this, but I will give it a try. Do all D9 require you to cut your hair during this process. And if so is there a way around it without becoming paper?

PledgeMaster says 5 years ago

No, not all fraternities require you to cut your hair. In most cases, fraternities just want to make sure you look “clean-cut”, which usually means just not a mop on your head. A select few require the buzz-cuts, but the majority just want to make sure you’re looking presentable.

interest says 5 years ago

Haha by mop on your head I assume your reffering to dreads. Well hopefully the one im looking into does not. Thank you for your help.

curious says 5 years ago

I am very claustrophobic. Have you every heard of/seen fraternities that lock pledges in closets or trunks or any small places? Someone I know said their friend’s pledge brother was locked in a trunk until he finished a handle. Thoughts on this?

PledgeMaster says 5 years ago

Curious: Yes, such claustrophobic actions are common in fraternities. It all depends on which fraternity and which university you are attending, but overall, this is a common practice.

I’m sure I have a bid to the top fraternity at my school, but I want to transfer to a more prestigious university my sophomore year. I’m not sure how that fraternity will be like at the one I will transfer to. Will it look bad on the fraternities at the second university if I pledge and drop during the pledgeship?

PledgeMaster says 5 years ago

Remember, once you become a brother, you’re a brother for life. You cannot join another fraternity once you’ve become a brother, even if you switch schools. Even if you dis-affiliate from the fraternity at your current school (after you’ve completed pledgeship), any fraternity at this more “prestigious” school you’re looking at attending will not be able to induct you. You either need to pledge your dream fraternity right now and stick with it (no matter the school you end up at, or how bad the correlating chapter is at this new school), or don’t pledge at all and wait to do so until you enroll at your final university.

Alex says 5 years ago

I was initially going to a large out of state university with a strong greek life and had every intention of rushing, however, due a recent loss in my immediate family I decided to stay close-by and attend a more research/graduate based university with an existent but very weak greek life. After 3 days I’ve realized one thing – these guys are total pussies. Even after hanging out with the sigma chi, sigep and phi delt chapters, they all gave the impression that I was going to be the next big shit to come through. These guys even pride themselves on the fact that they dont haze (roughly) and would rather focus on busting our asses on GPA, gym time, community service etc. My question is, should I even waste my time getting initiated here at “High School University Greek Life” or should I wait until sophomore year when I will attend a larger university with a stronger greek life? I wanna get my ass busted, be forced to drink and stand together with my pledge class. Also, if I were to transfer and re-affiliate would the brothers there take me as a joke or even accept me as one? Thanks PledgeMaster

PledgeMaster says 5 years ago

Alex: Based on your description, there is no doubt that you should wait. Remember, once you become a Brother of one fraternity, you are not allowed to dis-affiliate and pledge a different fraternity. In other words, don’t waste your time pledging a fraternity at your current college, when you’d be forced into the same fraternity at your next college… which is a toss up as to what brotherhood you’d be joining.

You’ll want to start fresh and pledge the right fraternity once you’re entrenched in your final destination University. If you were to transfer and affiliate with the same fraternity (that you pledged at your current college) at your new college, yes, the brotherhood will never truly accept you to the extent that you’d desire. There are obvious exceptions, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s best for you to wait it out a year. You won’t regret it.

How can Fraternities cut you once you’re a pledge?? They take my money and then 5 weeks into it, cut people?? Is this legal?

PledgeMaster says 5 years ago

Di:

Fraternities usually don’t charge pledges their fraternity dues until they are initiated. That being said, any money you do spend in the mean-time (meal-plan, expenses, etc) is lost in the shuffle. I can’t truly answer the legality of it, but over the years, it is what it is. Also remember that most fraternities have external accountants, and if you request a refund, it will 99% of the time go through.

Jake says 5 years ago

Im at a school where almost no partying is going on so I want to transfer but to do that I have to wait 2 years to transfer credits. Is it even worth rushing as a junior or is it weird since I’m not a freshman?

PledgeMaster says 5 years ago

Jake: Personally, I would say yes. Yet, when you rush it’s up to you to ask each house what their policy/tradition is regarding older rushees pledging. Find the right house, and it’s worth rushing even if you’re the oldest member of your pledge class.

Ryan says 4 years ago

I am wanting to quit my fraternity, as its not what i thought it was going to be. I wanted to quit when i was pledging but they threaten me that i would have to pay fees and all these other payments. Now i am a brother, and its not that i have a problem with any one, or because of the work i have to do, i just would rather be doing other things instead of always having to go over to the house, because i might get sent to the standard boards and pay a fee. So if i do quit, can they send me to the standards board, and say i have to pay them a $200 fine, and still have to make all my local payments?

PledgeMaster says 4 years ago

Ryan: I am almost positive you will not have to pay any fine whatsoever. Have you signed any contracts? If not, you’re free to walk.

Sean says 4 years ago

I completed the pledge process first semester but I ended up transferrering at semester. I was never initiated as I already had transferred and missed the initiation process which was the next semester. Am I still apart of the fraternity?

PledgeMaster says 4 years ago

Sean: It depends how your fraternity filed your paperwork. They submit new brother information to their National chapter. You need to clarify with your old brotherhood whether you’re officially a brother. It’s not so much about the physical ceremony. If they didn’t file anything, you’re free to pledge another fraternity. Are you still apart of their fraternity? It depends on what they filed. That being said, you could always pledge another fraternity no matter what they did. It’s just a risk, and taboo.

Jack says 4 years ago

So, after high school I spent time helping out at home while going to school locally. I am older, 22. Planning to transfer to a Large state university this fall or spring. Going in as a junior, like you said to Jake above, is still worth it? I plan to be there two years obviously, with the possibility of getting my graduate degree as well. Do graduate students typically associate with the fraternity, if they stay at the same school? Thanks.

Jack: Sounds like the timetable makes sense. Juniors pledge all the time. When you rush, ask them how many “older” brothers pledged in previous years. That will give you a good idea of how catering they are to your type. Graduate students usually don’t hang around much as they’re burned out after 4+ years… but if you’re new to the game, you’ll have every right/desire to stick around after your undergrad year. That’s perfectly acceptable. As for you not being the “typical fraternity type”, that might be a bigger issue. Just remember what comes of joining a fraternity. It’s a process, and a culture. Yet, there are many types. Make sure you travel to as many houses as possible during rush to make sure you’re matching yourself with those who you relate most with.

What I mean is, I do not have the same style as the stereotypical fraternity brother. Not that I can’t hang socially. I just was not sure the style thing came into play as much. For example, I dress well. I just do not wear pastels, and sperrys. haha. Regardless, thank you for the advice. It has been encouraging.

PledgeMaster says 4 years ago

Jack: To each his own. Some fraternities let their brothers come into their own, and do not require conformity. Other require it during pledgeship, but let loose once brotherhood is garnered. If you’re talking specifically about attire, I would not worry.

Nathan says 4 years ago

Hey, Pledgemaster. I was curious about drinking. Obviously it’s a large part, which I drink some. I don’t mind partying. I just don’t enjoy getting fucked up every night. Like during pledging obviously it’d be heavy. After initiation though, are you super pressured, to still get shit faced every night? I am going to a large state school.

PledgeMaster says 4 years ago

Nathan: Each fraternity has it’s own set of rules, or levels of pressure. By no means should you fear the aftermath of pledgeship. If you can survive that time period, you can easily manage the brotherhood once you’re a brother. Some brothers become party-animals, while others bow out and rarely show their face. To each his own. I would more-so be worried about the drinking of pledgeship, not the post-pledgeship drinking. Is there pressure? Of course. There’s going to be pressure your entire life to go to happy hour after work on Friday afternoons. It’s how you handle it.

John says 4 years ago

Hey PledgeMaster,

I am applying to schools and the big factors on my decision will be the social aspect, school spirit, greek like, and education. I have been on GreekRank for a lot of the schools I am looking at, and a lot of those posts seem fake, either someone hates the fraternity for some reason or someone selfs ranks/possibly loves them. I don’t want to join a fraternity that has no reputation whatsoever, but I also don’t want to go through serious hazing. I hear all these crazy stories about how dangerous it can be and I honestly don’t want to go through that, but as a partier and social person I feel like I fit in a fraternity.

If you don’t mind, what is the worst hazing story, and do you know any fraternities that if they seem to like you when you hang out during rush go easy on you and make you do stuff like drive around and clean up parties?

Sorry for the long post!

PledgeMaster says 4 years ago

John: You really can’t trust the blog postings (I’m being hypocritical, I know). When you rush, you just need to talk with the brothers and feel around. Ask questions, and believe me, if they haze… they’ll skirt around the question and give you bad vibes. If they don’t haze, they’ll tell you that up front. They’ll give you the scoop, and more than likely, sorority girls will also fill you in on the levels of hazing for each one as well. They are sometimes used as plants to feel you out to see what you’re all about. You cannot judge a fraternity nationally, as each chapter at each school is completely different. Don’t worry about the worst hazing stories (https://pledgingsucks.com/worst), as you won’t join a house that even comes close to this. Whether they like your or not during rush has nothing to do with how badly you’ll be hazed. It’s a ritual that all people go through, and it’s almost always pre-determined (think of a manual on how to haze). Ask the right questions during rush, and you’ll find the right fraternity.

Mark says 4 years ago

What’s your opinion about re-rushing chapters. I went through rush without a bid, but I met a lot of guys I liked. I tried to follow as many brothers as I could on Twitter, add on Facebook, etc (only followed people that I actually met and were cool). Depending on the chapter, I got a response rate from 30%-70%.

Brian says 3 years ago

Hello,

I was a pledge but I was later removed from my frateninty due to some drama that went on.
I paid my pledgeship due of 1,200$. My pledge Marshall said I will be refunded my dues, but he said I will only get around 800-900$ due to my date party I attended. He also said that the treasure will contact me soon, it’s been a week. I contacted my pledge Marshall to have the treasure contact me ASAP, he just replied he will get on it and assured me not to worry I will be refunded.

My question is:
Am I getting played and I just lost my money or am I assured my refund. ?

Sam says 3 years ago

I rushed a fraternity after being convinced by several friends of mine, because they were all in the same fraternity. I got dropped a week before initiation, due to some very political stuff, and a lot of the brothers weren’t happy that I got dropped. I missed getting in by one vote. A lot of the brothers really like me and a few told me to rush again next semester.

My question is:
Should I rush again?

PledgeMaster says 3 years ago

Mark: There’s no harm in re-rushing a chapter, but just don’t get your hopes up. If you didn’t get a bid the first time around, the chances of you getting a bid a semester later are pretty low.

Brian: You should get your money back. There is a bit of a process with the treasurer, etc. If you haven’t gotten your money back, you can always go to the governing body of fraternities at your school, and they’ll make sure you guy refunded. I don’t think you’re getting played, but you need to stay on top of it.

Sam: This is a personal choice. If you liked what the theory of a fraternity had to offer, then absolutely rush again (different fraternities). Do NOT rush the same house you got dropped from. There’s no hard in re-rushing, it’s just a matter of choice if you’re willing to go through pledgeship again at a different house.

I am currently pledging a fraternity but I’m not too sure if it’s the right one for me, it’s not that the brothers are a bunch of goobers (some of them are) and it’s definitely not my pledge brothers because they’re all cool, it’s just that I feel like I didn’t explore my options more during rush week, and I felt heavily pressured by this fraternity to join them (they gave me a bid early on and insisted that they needed me to help them become top tier). Another thing is that I accepted the bid without going to check out any of the other fraternities, it wasn’t until after the acceptance that I looked around (which was a poor choice on my behalf) and saw that I was really into these fraternities as well. I didn’t get a bid from the top house solely because I was (still am) on crutches with a broken foot, one of the brothers (I think he might have been the president or the treasure) they were worried that I wasn’t going to get the full pledge experience so they told me to come out in the fall and they will most definitely give me a bid. I’m stuck, I don’t know what to do. Help.

P.S. I would like to think I am your typical fraternity type, If that helps at all

PledgeMaster says 3 years ago

Robb:

How far along in the pledging process are you?

You can always drop, and re-pledge another fraternity. If you’re ok with “starting over”, then do it. If you’re a freshman, it’s worth the investment of the next four years. Granted, you’re taking a risk that you won’t get a bid elsewhere (in addition to pissing off the current fraternity), but if you’re okay with that small risk, definitely drop if you don’t feel like your current fraternity is the best for you.

Hope this helps.

Ali says 3 years ago

I will be going to UGA next semester as a transfer sophomore and I was wondering If I should rush/pledge? There are a couple things that I wanted to know. First, I’m Persian, some people consider that white some don’t which is why I was wondering how that’d go if I wanted to pledge, considering 95% of the people there are white just like any other SEC school. Also about SEC schools, not sure if true but I’ve heard it’s hard to get laid with white girls if you’re not white, unless your in a fraternity. Second, Is it even worth pledging as a sophomore, as most people pledge their first year? Third, If I do pledge, what should I expect from being in a fraternity other than partying?
Thanks

Nathaniel says 2 years ago

I’m rushing for a fraternity at the University of Montevallo, and due to personal health reasons, I’m dropping out. I haven’t paid any dues, and one of the pledge educators told me that I still have to pay them, and that he said this at a meeting (of which I don’t ever recall him saying anything about drop-outs still having to pay, but we got overloaded with info those first few days, so I could be missing info). He acted like a jerk and didn’t want to hear anything I wanted to say.

Point to the question is: is there any way I can get out of the fees? Or should I just shut up and pay them? I don’t want to rat them out on what they don’t consider “hazing” even though it technically is.

Hello Pledgemaster,
I’d like some advice. I pledged a frat but after a few weeks decided it wasn’t for me and dropped out. They tried to talk me out of it but I was sure and officially withdrew from the process before being asked for any payments. Now they are asking for money for the time I was a pledge. Do I owe them anything? I signed nothing saying I would pay for anything and dropped out before pledge fees were due.