Monday, October 29, 2012

There's something wrong in myself when I put my foot on a paddle, my hand at steering or handbrake, that I can't explain. I think it just the fear, but, well it turned out to be panick attack. Anxiety. Less relaxed. As I read along all the info, it can be mild, less severe but, but, as it affects my life.. it does make the diagnosis different.

Among all the things that can make me scared like hell, this is the worst and unexplainable. This is almost untreatable for me. I just don't know why. And considering psychatric treatment probably the best option.

Maybe. I think driving is the method of dying. Maybe. The thought of unable to control the car and hit another engine creatures in front, beside, or/and at my back is one of the never-end-reasons. No. It is the reason why.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Well, It has been few weeks that I stop writing. There're a lot of reasons apart from being lazy. Hahhaha. No. I lied. Actually I just have one reason which is to stop the readers from reading my post. My intention is, when they come to my blog, realize that no new posts and over time they will simply stop. I feel something bad when I went to seminars, they recognize me and can say loud my name; Huda Mustaffar. It's good, it's nice but it just doesn't sound right to my ear.

Like you have a lot readers eh buddy?

Perasantan.

Hahahha. A Lot of adjustment in my life nowadays and who cares? I resigned my previous job and join goverment. I get a new family members now, Hannah who like to cry in the middle of the night. Like an owl, she sleeps during the day and very active when everybody start to sleep.

And...... I have my new braces, AGAIN. The whole painful procedure, AGAIN. The weirdo metal in my mouth, AGAIN!