(Closed) Kicked my MOH out of wedding…

I got engaged this summer to the most wonderful man that could have been created for me. We have been together for two years and 2 months present day. I asked who I thought was my best friend to be my maid of honor. She said yes, but she wasn’t excited like I had hoped she would be. I set her up with her current boyfriend (my FI’s old roommate) and they seem very happy together, but she honestly seemed eager to be in the position I am (engaged, wedding planning, etc.) With that said, things started going downhill in our friendship. She lives less than a mile from my house and I couldn’t get her to make plans with me just to hang out or let me drop by for 5 minutes and say hello and catch up. This went on until December, so 5 months from our engagement. She and her boyfriend went and looked at engagement rings about two weeks after we got engaged, and they had only been dating for a month at the time. I purposly avoided talking about wedding stuff with her because I figured that’s why she was upset, but it got to the point where I couldn’t get her to talk about ANYTHING. Literally every text I sent, I got a “k” or “yeah” response to. Then when I finally had the guts to ask what was wrong, she said I had been talking about nothing but myself (well when I don’t know whats going on in your life and I can’t get you to answer me with more than one word, I can’t very well talk about your life) and she also blamed final exams at the college we both attend and work.

Christmas rolls around, and I have a bit more money than anticipated, so I planned to surprise my FI with a present that was more expensive than I had planned and something he had hinted he would like but knew it was very expensive. So I texted his old roommate (ex-MOH’s boyfriend) to double check that I was getting what he wanted, and I get this lengthy response back saying I shouldn’t do it because it’s too expensive, and I have a car payment so I need to be more responsible with my money (he didn’t know I had a car payment, but she did) and that he wouldn’t be happy with this gift. So doubting myself, I point blank asked my FI and he said YES he would love to have one, and that he and the guy in question had discussed it at length that they would both love one.

So I interpreted from the situation that she had been the one responding to my text, and I found out from a mutual friend that she had planned to buy her boyfriend the same gift but that she didn’t have the funds to do so.

Am I right to be mad? She has been talking crap about me non stop since I kicked her out. I thought our friendship meant more to her than this, we have both been through alot emotionally and been there for each other for the most part. When I had some major issues with my dad back in the fall, she wasn’t there for me either. I called her crying and just got an “okay.”

Polygon, I kicked her out after the chrismas gift incident. I don’t want to be friends with her anymore. She can’t be there for me recently in my good or bad times. I have friends that I’ve made in the last 2 months that have been better friends than she has.

@bebefv: You stated that you didn’t want to be friends with her. You essentially “broke up” with her. Of course she’s going to be bitter and upset. I’m normally against kicking out an attendant but this had to happen. She was being an awful person towards you.

@Chrysoberyl: I was expecting her to be bitter, just stated the fact that she’s talked junk since it happened because its the only thing reassuring me personally. Thanks for the input! I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t broken any major social codes. I’m new to the wedding etiquette and my parents are divorced so weddings are a touchy subject with them. Haha

Eh, sounds a little dramatic on both of your parts. The Christmas gift thing really wasn’t an “incident” – except that you’re making it a big thing. But she’s compounding it by being unresponsive and a bad communicator. Kicking out of a bridal party is a bit…dramatic, but it’s done. I wouldn’t expect the friendship to recover though.