4 New Ways To Approach Divorce

From drive-thru windows to trial-free good karma separations, a look at current divorce options.

If the summer is for weddings, winter, unfortunately, takes divorce. For many Americans a new start in the new year means ending an old relationship, and this makes January a very busy month for divorce courts and lawyers. From practical tips for low-income petitioners to wacky/tacky marriage dissolvers, here is a look at some of the resources out there to get on the path to a new start. When Is The Most Convenient Time To Break Up?

Think Zen. From Judge Michele Lowrance, a domestic-relations expert, a new book The Good Karma Divorce (HarperOne) is getting a lot attention and great reviews for its positive approach to separation. Lowrance points out that in addition to the tremendous financial and time costs of a divorce, because of the emotional state one is often in we make bad decisions that can affect our futures and that of our families. Lowrance's goal is for couples to avoid court altogether and settle their divorces through mature, caring negotiation. According to her self-reported stats, 100 percent of couples who have followed her plan have avoided trial. What Do You Get Rid Of After A Breakup?

Be efficient. If diplomacy is not a priority but haste is, there may very well be a drive-thru divorce window near your neck of the woods!

D-I-Y. Finally, a helpful article in the Orlando Sentinel outlines how to represent yourself or seek free or low-cost legal aid if money is a barrier to starting your new life. When you go to the courthouse to pick up divorce papers ask about these services in your local area or perform a search online for legal aid. Divorce Types: How To Choose

Work with what you've got. Finally, check out Divorced Kid, a website and documentary showcasing five years of research on the children of divorced parents. The producer, a child of divorce herself, chronicles both the reality and the current resources available for families with kids in a similar position today. On the website, she writes about reconciling her own divorced-child hesitation and deciding to marry in 1999.

I worked on this program on and off for five years. At first I thought it would be a show about how divorced kids aren't all messed up. But the more I read, and the more interviews I did, the more I became convinced that the real story is how deep this stuff cuts. Sure, divorced kids can be successful in life and relationships, but the past stays with us, as a cautionary tale.

Still, I've decided, I still believe in love.

Even for divorced kids.

Her concluding advice, it seems, is that acknowledging the emotional effects of divorce proves a much better strategy thanignoring them could ever be. How To Break Up With Parental Baggage

Readers, what other tips do you have for someone who is considering a divorce?