Question

How can I tell my child the truth about Santa?

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My husband and I swore that we'd never lie to our children about anything -- including Santa Claus. But last night my daughter said that Santa is going to bring her presents on Christmas. I've explained to her that Santa isn't real, but she gets upset when she hears this. How can I let her enjoy the fun of Saint Nick without lying to her?

Mom Answers

I understand your frustration and think you are brave for putting this question out there with the way some people react. I have a four-year-old and an infant. We have tried to focus on Jesus as the reason for Christmas and not play up the Santa thing too much. Our kids get a few presents from Santa but most of the gifts are labeled from "Mommy and Daddy." Bottom line for me though is that my parents let me believe in Santa and I still believe in God.

Find the book "A Special Place For Santa" -- tells of the man, St. Nicholas (who WAS real), all the good he did through his life, and ties it in wonderfully to the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Jesus.

As a child, I believed in Santa Claus and Jesus. When I was old enough to understand there was no Santa, I was old enough to grasp the concept of what my parents were doing. I never questioned the existance of Jesus. Santa is a fun thing for children to experience when children are young. Soon enough, they will realize that he is not real but you can continue to take your children to church. They can continue to learn and grow in their faith. And the Santa days will just be a fun memory for them but they will move forward with their faith. Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus and when they are old enough to understand there is no Santa, they will be old enough to understand that as well. Kids know that other children believe in Santa and if they don't get to, they might become resentful. Christmas isn't about resentment, it is about the joy of giving (rooted in the Chritstian belief) and Santa is an extension of this.

I grew up knowing that Santa Clause was "just pretend" and I was fine with that. I intend to tell my kids that Santa was a good man who lived a long time ago and gave gifts to children which is why people still pretend that he gives us gifts today. As for telling kids that "he is real in your heart" that's a bit obscure for a young child, but I agree with the general idea.

You should be more concerned with how to tell your children the truth about the universe. Instead of indoctrinating then with the idea that a celestial dictator who drown his own children and organized a virgin human sacrifice for forgiveness, you should be teaching them to say "I dont know, lets keep asking questions, rolling up our sleeves looking for answers and discovering new truths.
Religion says: What are you rolling up your sleeves for, looking for what, just as us we are the religitards and we know for a FACT that the beautiful and magnificent universe was created by a bully who told us who to kill and why in his filthy book :)

My older kids ages 21, 18, and 15 have all told me that christmas and santa was one of the best parts of their childhood. They always found out the truth from that "one kid" at school but always pretended to beleive anyways. THey now play along and even help wrap and set up for the younger 2. I never felt i was lying to my children, and they never held it against me when they found out the truth. I figure let them beleive if they want. Its not always about the presents that he brings in my house, but the story and the "magic" that they truly enjoy.

The magic of Santa is just that... magic. Let your child dream. One day she will know all of the dirty ugly truths of the world. My eight year old still believes in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. When she decides to stop believing I will tell her it is a wonderful magical tradition... and hey.. she gets an extra gift! If Santa is not your thing then tell your child that many other kids and families do believe in him, but he is someone made up for fun. Maybe guide her not to squash the daydreaming of others. You can be honest without being to hard on a child

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