Afternoon Graeme. So it's national mango week and you've been out and about with Rubicon this morning. What have you been up to? I've been flogging them on a Birmingham market. I've been juggling them, trying to spin them. Three for a £1 they were, great value.

Did you bowl one? Get any drift? No, they're a bit too cumbersome for bowling and I couldn't get a decent grip. I wouldn't back myself to turn them square. They're easier to juggle than I thought, though.

Are they your favourite fruit as well as your juggling item of choice, then? They're definitely my No1 fruit. Not many people know this but more mangoes are eaten every day in the world than apples and oranges combined. Isn't that an amazing stat? And true, too. It's the world's favourite fruit. Way ahead of the guava.

The guava must be gutted. Don't knock the guava. The guava's good, it's just that the mango is better.

Did you know you've got six wickets to overtake Jim Laker as England's most successful off-spinner. Oh really? That's a nice thing to know. He's one of the greatest of all-time so I'm in a very privileged position if I'm being compared to him. Someone told me I was near to him but I didn't realise I was that close.

Are individual milestones important to the team? Some players abide by them and know their averages down to the 10th decimal point but I've never been like that. I keep a casual eye on them but since my fourth-year maths teacher put me off I've never been a fan of statistics.

Was maths your least favourite subject at school? Yeah, my dad used to teach me and he put me off for life.

Which of your Test wickets has given you the most satisfaction? It's hard to say but I suppose the one to get Mike Hussey to win the Ashes at The Oval in 2009 for two reasons. First, obviously, because it won the Ashes and secondly because I predicted it at the start of the summer. I said to him: "I'm going to get you out for the last wicket to win the Ashes". I can't remember if I said it in print or just to his face but either way I'll take that one as my favourite.

What's behind your happy knack in the first over of a spell? I don't know to be honest. When I was a kid my dad would have a go at me because my first over was not as good as the rest. I don't know if that instilled in me a discipline to make sure my first over was good. As a spinner you don't need to warm up as much because you're only trotting and lobbing it in off five paces rather than coming in off the boundary like Jimmy Anderson has to do. I'm probably a bit lucky but I'll take that.

You got him out at Trent Bridge but is Shivnarine Chanderpaul particularly tricky to bowl at? He's a good player. Like anyone at the top of the world rankings they're buggers to shift when they're batting. I've got him a few times because he's not infallible. No one's infallible. He's No1 for a reason and has always been a bugger to get out once he's in.

Have you noticed how much goodwill seems to be going the West Indies' way? Most cricket fans are happy that they're putting up a staunch fight. Obviously that's not shared in your dressing room? It's very dangerous if you start to feel sympathy for the opposition. We certainly don't do that but of course I feel it's good for world cricket if we've got a strong West Indies team and I think they're going in the right direction. They've got some highly talented players and are playing some hard cricket. They seem to have more backbone than when they last toured England.

Did you read Tanya Aldred's description of Tim Bresnan in Wisden? That he "still has the air of a man with an emergency cheese sandwich in his back pocket"? I'm so glad you brought that up. It made me laugh out loud when I read it.

Has he taken a lot of stick for it? No, he hasn't actually. Because Tim's quite touchy about his weight, me and Jimmy would never bring anything up like that. It's a term of endearment, though, I think it's nice. He's the most loveable cricketer we have at the moment. He's a big bear, you just want to hug him. There are no frills to him. He always turns up and gets the job done.

What has been the pinnacle of your other career with your band, Dr Comfort And The Lurid Revelations? Was it when you sang with Keane? That was very exciting. Tom Chaplin's a big cricket fan so I'm sure it was nice for him up on stage to play alongside me! But every gig we do is amusing apart from one horrific one for NatWest when they thought it would be a good idea to stick us on an open-sided trailer at a cricket club. I honestly hope whoever decided on it has been removed from their post and never given another job because it was the most ridiculous idea in the world. All the others have been good fun.

You're a big Stone Roses fan. Are you off to Heaton Park? Sadly I won't get the time. I'd have given anything to be at their secret gig in Warrington. I missed out the first time because I was eight years old and missing out this time because I'm with England.

Have Dr Comfort And The Lurid Revelations covered any Roses tracks? Love Spreads.

It must have been difficult for your lead guitarist to replicate John Squire? No, our lead guitarist is a genius. Fast-fingered Eddie. He's brilliant. Don't worry about that.

As an Oasis fan do you prefer Beady Eye of Noel's High Flying Birds? I prefer High Flying Birds because I prefer Noel's songwriting. Having said that I love Liam's singing and the Beady Eye album is absolutely class. And he is cool, Liam. I love the Pretty Green gear and all that. I just wish they'd kiss and make up. Maybe one day and then I could get to relive being 16 all over again.

The Headingley Test against South Africa is in the middle of the Olympics so you probably won't be able to go. What will you be watching? I'll be watching the women's beach volleyball with a keen eye! Technically it's a superb sport to get involved in and I've been looking forward to it coming to London for a long time. Other than that I couldn't give a monkey's!

You were all over Twitter during Eurovision. Did you enjoy it or are you as fed up with the block voting as everyone else in Britain seems to be? I don't think it is block voting. It's democracy at its finest. It's amazing television. Three hours of the campest TV in the world, hosted by Graham Norton, who's hilarious. I love how crap all the songs are and all the dancers. I swear Sacha Baron Cohen was in that contest four or five times. He was definitely the Turkish guy singing and I'm pretty sure he was the guy from Moldova with the crazy backing dancers, or at least he choreographed that. I think it's amazing. I never know when it's on but I always seem to catch it. And I was in from the start this year with Englebert Humperdinck. It was a shame. I don't think he needed to do that. I think he's had some very bad advice to put himself forward. Whoever persuaded him to do it should be stripped of his post, like that guy who had me singing off the back of a truck.

Why does the UK entry have to be serious? Bring back Daz Sampson, Small Talk says. I think the Irish have got it spot on. It's a stupid, talentless competition which is über camp so they send Jedward. You couldn't get two less talented human beings. They couldn't even dance in time and they've been practising for 22 years together. It's just amazing.

Perhaps they should try My Lovely Horse. [Singing] "My lovely horse, running through the fields, where are you going with your fetlocks blowing …" Yes. That's what they're doing. The Irish are clever buggers. They pretend to be stupid but they're not, they're world leaders. They know hosting it will bankrupt them so they send Jedward.

If you started losing your hair would you be straight down the Advanced Hair Studios like so many cricketers or shave it off? Neither. I'd grow bald disgracefully. I'd Bobby Charlton it. Why doesn't anyone do that any more. He won the World Cup with it. I'd grow three or four long strands and sweep the buggers over.

What's your best characteristic? I've got beautiful knees. They should be award-winning. If Elle McPherson had my knees she'd still be a supermodel instead of doing some shit TV show my wife watches.

Cheese or chocolate? Cheese. I'm more savoury than sweet … apart from mangoes. I always get my five a day.

What's the last CD you bought? Last night I downloaded Alt-J.

As a Toon fan do you think Newcastle will build on last season's finish? This is the first rung of the ladder. They'll be kings of Europe in five years time. If Chelsea can play as badly as they did and then win the European Cup anyone can do it! Crystal Palace can win the Champions League based on the way Chelsea played in that final! That's going to wind up so many people.

What's the biggest animal you could knock out with a single punch? A baby otter. I hate them. I've got a real beef with them. I'd knock the arrogant little buggers out!