Hope and Jason

our life story through Jason's {our} battle with stage 4 melanoma {cancer} all thoughts, wonders,
and worries...our fight to live our lives the way we want...♥♥♥

Friday, November 18, 2011

needless to say the headstone DIDNT come in wednesday. but it DID come today! {friday 18}

i was so worried it wouldnt be delivered since it was snowing like crazy out here today. not mention the fact it was supposed to be delivered back in August...and they have rescheduled about ten times.

remember how i switched the stone to get it delivered sooner?...well we ended up with the stone i originally ordered....so who knows if it was just some excuse to take longer to deliver {which i'm sure they regretted when putting the stone in during a blizzard along with about 4 inches on the ground}

i was very upset with the business and how long they took to deliver. but now that it is here...it is perfect.

just getting there...

digging the grass up, for the cement block to go into

leveling it out

lowering the cement block down

they lowered the base, centered it, then put this putty stuff down and removed the sticks underneath it

they put the stick on top of the base then lowered the top down onto it, centered it, put the calk around then removed the sticks

removing the excess calk that was pushed out by the weight of the stone

Sunday, July 31, 2011

today was Jason's birthday, i started having issues last night while reading the comments on his FB wishing him a happy bday...but overall i think i did pretty good with the day...{the next week will be hard/er}we had his party at the cemetery, had a pretty good time, didtn start crying until i was writing wesleys message for jason on a balloon...then i lost it, gained control, lost it again...we let go 23 balloons, Jason would be 23 today...we all wrote a message on them...n let them go at the end of happy birthday. there wasnt a dry eye by the end of happy birthday, i didnt make it thru happy...

all the balloons

reubens message to Jason!

timari n family message

{everyone wrote a message, i just got pix of these for timari, since she couldnt be there...}

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Jason's birthday is at the end of the month {30} and i want to do something. as of right now, im planning a balloon release and cake n ice cream up at the cemetery....just unsure of the time, dont want it to be in the middle of the day, n not too early so probably early evening :)so this is your invite if you want to come, but let me know so we have enough stuff for everyone....

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Sunday, April 17, 2011

it will always be Hope and Jason. i know Jason will always be with me.{i feel him everyday} we have an amazing strong bond, LOVE for each other, and made a connection that some will never make. and that will never end. but i cannot write on the hope and jason blog...i will add things now and again i am sure...things that include the both of us....but right now i feel its my fight. my fight against anger, sadness, loneliness...and to learn to live again. therefore i have made a blog for me, for my fight.

Friday, April 15, 2011

i have had a lot of people tell me that people were asking why the funeral and everything was in snowville, well since nobody has the nerve to as me...i will answer!

Jason always wanted to be cremated...but when it came down to it i couldnt do it...i needed a place to go visit him...n i needed some kind of closure, where as if he was cremated i would have him sitting on my mantle/shelf and take him with me throughout my life, and that would be more difficult that what i am dealing with now....

so tuesday night i laid in the chair with jason for about 3+ hours, talking about it...asking questions, telling him my thoughts.... and he agreed that being buried in snowville, next to my younger brother would work great....

we never talked about it before tuesday {except him saying he wanted to be cremated} we never planned on this being the outcome of our battle...we planned to {and did} fight until the end, working on a miracle...

our cancer story {beginning}

well it all started with a seizure December 22, 2009. After amulance, ER, ambulance, ER, ICU, Neuro care unit, we were informed jason had Stage IV metastasized Melanoma. there was one tumor in his brain and 7 in his lungs. And were sent home on Christmas eve {great way to spend the holiday!} With the course of treatment chosen then jason had a 6-8% chance of living and would be lucky to make ten years {oh! he was 21 at the time} well, that treatment{IL2} was tried...once and was/is no longer an option.so Jason received full brain radiation {and lost ALL of his beautiful hair} In June of 2010 2 days after finishing radiation we were given the option of hospice {they could no longer do anything for us} so we found another hospital {CTCA} in Arizona and shortly after started a clinical trial {ipilimumab} in Idaho. Brain surgery the 2 of DEC, to remove 2 of the 6 tumors. came home the 4 :) got the pathology report the 8, which informed us the first/main tumor was dead but the 2nd was still alive {which leads us to believe all the other 6 tumors are alive} now we are waiting to decide whether jason will undergo a 2nd brain surgery or more radiation..Jason had to quit the trial due to steroids and surgery so now we are waiting to hear when/if he starts it back up..this is definitely "in a nut shell" version of our cancer story...but it gives somewhat of a background without having to read the entire blog! :)

take my hand and never let go...

Honeymoon in cabo {paradise}

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About Us

Jason and I met in August of 2007, I wish we could say we fell madly in love right then...but it took a few months. Once I let my guard down he swept me off my feet and we have been living the happily ever after since. We were married August 8, 2008, and have loved every minute of it. We are parents to the cutest puppy in the WHOLE world, Frankie. :))
that was my life, before cancer, and before widowhood. my best friend, husband, lover, soul mate, superman, passed away april 6, 2011 after a 15 month courageous battle with melanoma cancer...at the age of 22. i am now trying to figure where to pick my life up, where to begin, how to begin...so i write, i write to help me get thru the day, to help others and hopefully meet others going thru this, to help me..