Archive for December, 2007

Merry Christmas, my little chillalies! I hope everyone’s gotten all their nasty consumerist shopping out of the way! Santa Frankie has been sick in bed with the plague for the last little while, but he’s not forgotten you all, no indeed. For your holiday treat, I present to you something that cannot be beat; a Flickr gallery filled with pictures of whacky Japanese Kit Kat bars! With flavours from stripey Banana to Cherry Blossom, and at least half a dozen variations on the theme of Mango, your sweet tooth is sure to be tempted by these import snackables. Enjoy!

Sit down, my friends, I’m going to tell you a story about The Future. 2008 is just around the corner, and there’s a lot of movies that will be coming out, not just in North America, but all across the world. I’m very excited about some of these films. But today, this morning, I found a movie that I’m more excited about than any other film. This movie is truly the definition of that overused marketing term. “instant cult classic”.

I give you the trailer for Japan’s latest affront to taste, Machine Girl. I haven’t seen this much blood and gore in a movie trailer. Ever. Arms lopped off, heads severed, faces peeled away to reveal sinew and bone. Saucy stuff, indeed. I’m not thinking anyone is going to say this is the most original movie; the machine gun/chainsaw arm is an explicit call to Evil Dead/Planet Terror. But, hot schoolgirl amputee with a gatling gun arm! Finger food, throwing stars, flying guillotines, drill bras and stumps! Just watch the damn trailer, and remember, when you hear about this whacked out noise from your friends, Frankie already showed ya.

Kyle Cease is a stand-up guy. Not that I know him or anything, but he does stand-up. Comedy. God you’re slow tonight. Anyhow, the man is fuckin’ funny. Do you remember the “slow clapper” from Not Another Teen Movie? No? that’s okay, it’s just mentioned on his Wikipedia page, I don’t recall either. Anyhow, he did a very funny little bit on the old NES on stage, so I present it to you here. Enjoy.

In this dark time, when cats walk the internet speaking like Ritalin-deprived twelve year-olds, the madness of LolSpeak cannot be avoided. It infests our cupboards, our cup-o-noodles, even our cupolas. Now, it has even infiltrated dread R’lyeh. And it’s hilarious.