Michele Bachmann isn’t having a very good year. She hasn’t paid some of her Iowa staff, and they are pissed and talking to the media, accusing her of stealing a list of parents of homeschooled children. As DougJ noted the other day, they’re dishing dirt about Michele’s relationship with her debate coach and her separate bedrooms relationship with Marcus.

Now her former field director filed charges with the FEC, alleging that she paid campaign consultants with PAC money, and paid some of her Congressional staffers who were “volunteering” on her campaign. It’s not as interesting as the Marcus stuff, but goddam do I love finding pictures of this couple, so here you go.

Give Michelle a break. Do you think she has time to pay the bills while protecting us from the fascist, socialist in office? Her procreation days are probably over and like a good evangelical, that’s the purpose of sex. Also, too she needs her beauty sleep.

Franken is saying he is undecided. He will get to pose many pro-gun user questions, but will ultimately vote for legislation for the greater good. Meanwhile, lots of op-eds will be written to convince Senator Franken to put the well regulated back into the 2nd amendment. Structure not stricture.

These two slep in different beds. The Minnesota Republicans lost the amendment and the legislature. Yet they are gearing up to fight marriage equality in Minnesota. How’s about people worry about their own relationships and not others’?

They lost. Now they need to get the fuck out of the way. Not.In.The.Mood.

She was extubated last night around 9 PM. Since then she’s been pretty stable. Given all she’s been through to this point, I think most of the medical staff thought she’d go fast. But her BP is still strong, her pulse ox is good, core temp is normalizing, and breathing seems smoother if not normal.

There’s no recovery from this. As much as my emotional mind is wondering why we don’t reinstate the antibiotics, the truth is we wouldn’t want her to awake to deal with the pain and misery of her current situation, then have to deal with a liver cancer that has been raging untreated all this time.

It’s like we’re a living example of public policy failures. Can’t get married. Can pull the tubes, but can’t assist either. We just have to keep using up medical resources in a hospital short on beds and nurses. And at some point the hospital and medical insurance wash their hands of you and you need to pay for hospice, which runs hundreds of dollars per day. How am I supposed to afford that? And I’m solidly middle class with no kids.

It wasn’t hard to decide to extubate. It was hard to have to pick the time and say, “Do it now.” I wish that could have been the end instead of sitting here and watching her die over hours, maybe days.

@Gex: Been in this position with a close uncle and with my mother over the last few years. It’s hard, and nothing anyone says or does will help, unfortunately. But what struck me through both of those processes is that I can be more merciful with my dog than with my mother. That’s just …. wrong.

That’s the thing with these “conservative” “Christians”. Unless they can oppress others, they’re being oppressed. The old Massachusetts colony rules are applicable here. They fled “oppression” because they were not the ones inflicting it…they needed a new place to oppress others.

@Gex: not all hospice organizations require payment, depending upon age (i.e. if you’re older and qualified for Medicare or Medicaid) many hospice services are covered under existing medical insurance policies or handled via the Feds if the recipient is already under either of the Medi twins (Care or Caid). Usually the hospital itself can help in this instance find a match for you.

@Gex: Hopefully I don’t sound cliche, but keep your head up. You did good things. Everyone should have someone with them at the end.

ETA: Two things and hopefully not gruesome. Insurance will generally cover Hospice at 100% if you’re just “waiting”. It’s ghoulish, but cheaper than medical interventions. Secondly, if you have to do Hospice, ask about United Way funds. They have a fund set aside for people and not being married, only her income counts against her.

@Gex: My wife used to be the insurance coordinator for a hospice and home health care agency. She would call the insurance company and negotiate hospice care. From what she’s told me a lot of them do if it’s the end, for all intents and purposes, as in DNR, no medical interventions except pain managment, etc.

I’m not sure I agree. I think there’s a plausible reason to be especially upset about closeted gays who actively fight against equality. Assuming that Marcus really is in that category- and there’s no doubt about his fighting against equality- then he deserves special opprobrium.

@Gex: Hang in there Gex, I’ve been on both sides of this, as a physician and a daughter (and daughter-in-law). I agree with everyone re: negotiating hospice. Have you talked with a social worker at the hospital? They can be helpful and this is right in their wheelhouse.

My father-in-law was mistakenly intubated despite a living will and we insisted that they extubate him – it took a day of arguing (with my own colleagues, no less). I was the one who sat with him afterwards to try to spare the rest of my husband’s family because I knew how difficult it would be. And it was – for 14 hours. In the end, you are carrying out her wishes and that is the greatest gift. Most people don’t get that, not even close.

Make sure they keep her comfortable and take care of yourself. Sending strong thoughts.

But that is exactly the issue: do you, or anyone else here, know for a fact that he is gay, or do you just assume that because it conveniently fits with your other views?

Posters shouldn’t (but do) assume that he is, and then pile on, and make comments like “I can smell the gay off of that picture”. There is so much to criticize about the Bachmanns without smearing the husband for the possibility that he might be gay based on his appearance.

ETA By all means pile on for his behavior towards gays if he admits that he is gay, but not before.

I’m so sorry, Gex. We had to make a similar decision for my father a couple of weeks ago — he was not intubated, fortunately, but the doctor decided that the oxygen mask was just prolonging things and my mom had to approve switching him to just the oxygen in the nose, which was hard for her.

I know you want to be there with her right at the end, but don’t be surprised or feel guilty if it doesn’t happen that way. My dad waited until my mom and I had left the hospital before he passed away, and I’ve heard so many stories from caregivers about how they took one lunch break or one nap and that was when the ill person died. I do think sometimes people choose to do it that way to spare their loved ones the pain of having to see the very end — I’m sure that was the case with my dad, who knew it would be too painful for my mom to have to watch him go, so he waited for her to leave to let himself go.

I think that it’s dawning on the MNGOP that Michele is a very expensive punchline. The MN 6th is an R+7 District, which means that a Republican should win by 14 points in a “normal” election cycle. Bachmann won by 1.2%, and that meagre victory required soaking up many millions that could have been better spent elsewhere.

A reasonably sane Republican (I know) could hold the 6th for eternity with almost no money. In the end, the 6th is just *one* House seat out of hundreds. In the Big Picture, it’s meaningless.

As a Minnesotan, I feel compelled to point out that Michele is not popular state-wide. Polling shows that she would lose badly to Franken in 2014. Bachmann was supposed to “blow the minds” of the “urban libs” with “the Truth”, but she has become a tired punchline to them instead. This means that her usefulness has come to an end, even for the MN wingnuts.

@Gex: I read this earlier and thought about the movie “Shadowlands” about C.S. Lewis’ romance. Regardless of what you think of his religion, there are some great quotes in there, among them this: “We can’t have the happiness of yesterday without the pain of today. That’s the deal.”

My Dad died as I was on my way back to the nursing home… I DID feel guilty but then realized that the family and I had been there for him through the last days, bearing witness to his journey out. It was an honor to be there with him, to spoon water to his lips and hold his hand, put lotion on his skin..He had end stage Parkinson and it took some doing to find a nursing home that would completely honor his wishes for no intervention besides spooning water or ice chips and whatever soft food could pass his lips without him choking. At the end, it was just being there with him, talking to him, remembering to him, playing music that he liked, letting him hear us cry..

My Mom is 90+ and though hanging in there, will one day pass on. I never miss a day to tell her how much that I love her and to spend time remembering our lives together and talking about it now.

he’s not affecting anyone’s lives outside of his immediate circle; his sexual orientation is fucking irrelevant to anyone he isn’t actively fucking.

Marcus runs clinics that do ‘ex-gay therapy‘, where he promises ‘cures’ for homosexuality by praying away the gay. So yeah he does affect peoples’ lives, and in a very destructive and harmful way. Obviously his orientation is relevant.

Edit: What gex said, only much earlier. Need to read all comments before responding…

I read your comment on the other thread about comics and tributes to Kate and how being around them is helping you. I hope you are able to have some of those people over to your house so you can share laughter and tears with other people who love Kate, in the house you shared with Kate, before you have to be there alone.