This is a VERY different piece than anything I've written . It's more of a journal entry so please bare with me when it comes to the dramatics surrounding 'love' . I've said from the beginning I'd always be open so . . . here's a place I never go - let alone would choose to be vulnerable enough to share . It's not a woe is me piece , more so a brush myself off and bounce back piece .

I was broken .

In a world where it's unbelievably easy to take the low road , where it's so easy to blame everyone around us or simply feel and see the dark looming . . . I had to reassure myself that life would go on .

I sit here on my phone typing away hoping that I can truly convey how I've been feeling the past few weeks . It's far from an easy task because it forces me to relive something and relove someone .

I'll start by saying that I apologize to all of you that have remained loyal , have taken the time to read the pieces I've previously put out and looked forward to new parts of who I am . I haven't written in over a month because I didn't feel adequate enough , good enough , or that anything I'd been attempting to do was translating into the good I'd hoped to be putting into the world .

Being in like with someone is a fun thing . Being in love with someone is something I have never truly been able to describe . It's an unparalleled comfort but also has an unsettling component of fear . It's a state in which one is filled with this unfathomably powerful , delicate other worldly force - a connectivity and yet one is susceptible to being crushed by the weight of whatever love actually is .

I sat on the back of a couch at Warwick in Hollywood and the night was perfect . The Dj had us in a trance . I gazed deep into the madness surrounding me and reached a peace within myself because I had the feeling the stars aligned and all was good . One friend turns the corner and I smile . A second follows not too far behind . The world stops . A third person walks in after them and at that point , it was one of two times I'd felt the beauty of the universe . I drank to oblivion that night because the confusion and what I thought was lust , the visions and the not knowing was far too much to handle . How we ended up being introduced is an occurrence I may never remember however a series of events occurred - an uber ride between the two of us , our first kiss , arrived at an after party , played with a puppy , they lost their phone , we went our separate ways .

Fast forward .

They found their phone and after a few hours of talking sober - I realized that this person was someone my aura had been searching for my entire life . Sounds cheesy but over the years I've developed an understanding of certain distinctions . I've lived a life searching with my mind , what I thought I wanted . I've searched with my heart , what I felt I wanted . My eyes , because I thought aesthetics were primary . My dick , because I'm a guy and we're stupid more often than not . But this , this was different . I'd found someone who shared the same stardust from which I was created .

I found a happiness I never knew existed . I smiled so big . I saw galaxies in their eyes . I felt stronger . Encouraged . Loved . I was a better person for knowing them and being loved by them .

'I love u' - Them

'I adore you and who you are' - Them

'I wish I had the strength to be myself like you . . . ' - Them

'I'm going to New York to work out things with my ex' - Them

'They broke up with me . I've been thinking about you' - Them

'I hope I get to see you soon . How's next weekend' -Them

'Let's just play it by ear' -Them

'When I get free time , it just doesn't include you' - Them

'Work is just crazy right now' - Them

When I say that I was in the most horrific nightmare that I couldn't wake up from . . . that I was living in a world where the slightest touch left a bullet wound . That I could not process what or who anything or anyone was . . . in that moment that was my reality .

Here I was , the best version of myself , embarking on living a life bigger than myself , wanting to attempt to make the world a better place - essentially being told I wasn't good enough by someone that spoke so highly of me , genuinely cared about me , was in awe of the beauty that resided inside me , that said they loved me .

B R O K E N

B R O K E N

B R O K E N

B R O K E N

I didn't eat , then I ate everything . I stopped socializing for a bit . I overly socialized and got a little reckless at times . I didn't get out of bed and binge watched Law & Order SVU because somehow I was reduced to being able to identify with those victims .

I can see how in reading this yall can picture any Romantic Comedy but this hurt was real .

Fast forward .

Enough of the sadness . I know I'm a good person with the biggest heart for others . I know that this really isn't a 'me problem' . I know that the sun is -still- gunna rise tomorrow . After all of this I now know how it feels to love and be loved in return . Also how it feels to be reduced to a very low version of myself after it was taken away .

Being broken has given me a new perspective . It was something I'd never be able to address had it not happened to me . It caused me to look for distractions ; to look for good in the world . It caused me to look for the very thing I'd let this situation keep me from providing to all of you that read these . For that , again - I apologize .

I'm back to me and I love you guys .

I do not wish anything but life , happiness and prosperity towards this person . If they're reading , I thank them . I'll always love them because I now know what love means and what love feels like . I can put all that back into the world around me .

If you've been there - I know how you feel . JEEZ it sucks but you'll get through it and you'll be better because of it . . . #SomeDailyJoe

@VinsanityShred's @Vin_Sant @KevinPearn@RogerCrandall @NickDaniel11

If in 2016 you are between the ages 19-35 , you and I along with 75.4 million others are amongst the most hated on generation : The Millennials . We are chastised for our perceived laissez faire lifestyles .

Laissez faire : a policy or attitude of letting things take their own course without interfering .

(For those a little less inclined to look that term up . I got you )

We are accused of being lazy and unmotivated . We are even charged with being a major factor in the downfall of society as we know it - which is a little dramatic by MY standards and that's saying a lot . With all that said , I personally think the other generations are a little salty because although our lives aren't perfect - we've grown up relatively AWESOME . From growing up in the 90s with our Rugrats and Hey Arnold to the smooth transition into the electronic age we now live in to the birth of social media and CAPITALIZING off of it to where a lot of we Millennials don't -need- traditional jobs . . . we kinda kill it .

Anyway , these are the 3 Reasons All Millennials Should Celebrate Halloween

1 . Self Expression ​How many of us grew up in religious homes ? Conservative homes ? Strict homes ? Environments where we maybe couldn't push the envelope as much as we knew we wanted out of fear of ridicule or judgement ? Nobody wanted to 'embarrass' their parents or be bullied in school . Growing up , few of us had that boss mentality to do whatever the hell they wanted and own every bit of it . ​This is why now makes sense . We are in the time of our lives where creativity is at an all time high and what's deemed 'socially acceptable' is pretty much anything that isn't blatantly offensive (black face is still a no-go . . . so is Hitler . . . or a rapist and well , pretty much anything that will make you look like the shittiest person in the room) .

Being dead was a huge trend across the board which is how a lot of us felt after drinking . ​. .

Actor/Male Model : @Nick__Bateman

Content Creators : ​@ZackKalter & @HelenOwen

​Moreover , guys take this opportunity to be the entities that inspire them ; i.e. super heroes and if they have the body for it - warriors , Greek gods , sexy firemen - you get the picture . Sometimes they go funny : onesies , giant babies , Netflix & Chill , Ron Burgundy , Zoolander , so on and so forth . Girls tend to get HYPER sexualized : sexy nurse , sexy cop , sexy cat , sexy 'insert noun' . I've literally seen a sexy crayon costume . Lol . I don't judge because I think all this is perfectly fine for the simple FACT : we're not gunna look like this forever . If we got it , flaunt it . Hell - I did and I'm a guy . Sexiest male Victoria's Secret Angel in LA !

Actress/Model : @LindseyPelas Queen of Mardi Gras

Half of the DJ Group @DeuxTwins @jaymaaay as Harley Quinn​

Photographer : @KevinRoldan

2 . Self Preservation ​Our generation is so hell bent on proving that we can make something of ourselves that about 95% of anyone not in Los Angeles , New York , Miami , Chicago or most other big markets are stuck in jobs they don't love . A lot have gotten in and out of relationships that the felt they needed to be in . Some have had to grow up even FASTER because they had children and don't have the luxury of the sometimes excessive 'life freedom' some of us are lucky to enjoy .

Life Freedom : a state in which one is not bound by any substantial obligation ; job , significant other , child , etc .

(I just made up this term but that's what I meant) .

This is why you should celebrate Halloween . A little break from reality where you can be whoever you want . An opportunity to strengthen relationships that maybe haven't gotten the attention they deserve . An excuse to go drink (if that's your thing) and not worry about the millions of responsibilities you know you'll have to tend to at some point tomorrow . It's a chance to hold on to that fun person you sometimes feel you've lost touch with because #Adulting .

3 . Pass Down the Good Memories

Even if partying isn't your thing , think of the kids that will sooner or later be in our shoes in a good 20 years . Take the time to relax , stay home and pass out some candy . It's the least you can do . Remember when you used to go trick or treating in your homemade costumes and all the neighbors would give you so many compliments and ALL the candy ? How'd that make you feel ? Amazing I'm sure . And the icing on the cake : finding a FULL SIZE candy bar in your bag . THAT was winning . With all that's going on in the world , we should at least give them the good memories we can . ​So yea . Take some time for yourself next year . Express yourselves in ways you thought you might get judged because I'm sure there will be someone that much crazier looking or that much more naked than you who's struggling across the room at that party . Don't lose yourself in the stresses of growing up and lastly . . . create some awesome memories for the young ones - either in candy and compliments or wildly inappropriate stories when they're old enough . #SomeDailyJoe

Oxygen . Food . Water . Women . A simple list of what is widely accepted to be true that we can't live without . We fight for and pass legislation to protect air quality and to limit and regulate emissions . We educate and raise countless dollars to aid in attempting to end world hunger . We protest to keep our oceans clean and protect our water supply . How is it that in 2016 we as a people - because it's bigger than the US -have yet to fully realize , protect , respect and appreciate all that is a WOMAN ?

Women possess the ability to give life . Women develop quicker mentally . Women live longer . Women can run homes and run businesses . Women are the guardians of compassion . Women are charged with the endless quest towards beauty because go figure - men - and they do a DAMN good job at it . The list of the capabilities of women is just as - if not longer than that of men yet men still reign supreme and I think that's BS . What makes us better ?

We live in a society where high profile men brag about sexual assault . We live in a country where women are paid less for jobs they are equally as qualified for . We live in a time where women are raped and BLAMED for it because 'she shouldn't have dressed like that' . . . as progressive as we have become how are we still so primitive ?

​From what I've seen in my years ; what's portrayed in TV and film , what I've seen in the media , my family and my friendships . . . Behind every great man is a strong mother .

#ThrowBack to Mom and My Brothers

Granted there are exceptions , I whole heartedly believe that it's WOMEN that raise us up right . Fathers have their place and responsibilities but seeing how mine passed away before I was born , I can't speak from experience . What I can say is that for us men , mothers teach us how to love . They are our cheerleaders and number one fans . They're the biggest influences in our lives . In the Jenkins household , mom taught us the value of relationships and the value of honesty . She taught us the value of communication and the value of a dollar . She struck the fear of God in us when we did wrong and knew better . It's because of a STRONG , intelligent , and exceedingly capable woman who has busted her ass as a single mother of 3 - that my brothers and I are highly functioning members of society .

Can you see how it's mind blowing to me that women aren't yet completely seen as our equals ?

I have guy friends but I've always understood women . I've always been surrounded by them . I've always respected them and I've never seen them as anything less than an equal . Women are fucking amazing - excuse my language . Knowing there are glass ceilings and that they make less yet they still kill it in everything they do ? Knowing that they aren't as protected as we (men) are yet they keep their heads up and are willing to go down fighting ? We wouldn't settle for that , why should they ?

This wasn't meant to be so obscurely dark , but I can totally see how it can be taken like that . . . but if you DO see it as dark , then good ! You can see how there's a huge problem . What we have now is a 'Diet Gender Equality' situation . Women can vote , have jobs and get their own homes but when we get down to the fine print - the things we're afraid to talk about (rape culture , sexual assault , unequal pay , reproduction conflicts , etc) these are what we should be helping our mothers , sisters , girlfriends and wives fight for . We should be fighting for Gender Equality just as hard as we do for global warming , LGBT rights and the ethical treatment of animals . ​If you've been under a rock - the recordings of the deplorable and misogynistic dialogue of our Republican Nominee , Donald Trump , were released where he spoke freely about unwelcome advances on married women and how as a 'star' you can do anything including grabbing her by the pussy . If anything , statements like these set us back YEARS and we can't sit around and do nothing while the ones that make us better humans are treated as less . I encourage all reading this to look up organizations you can volunteer with , donate to or even just educate yourself on the issues plaguing Gender Equality . Also , thank the women in your life simply for being them . #SomeDailyJoe

From the earliest ages we are told we can be anything , we can do anything and we can achieve anything . My mom has been THE rock to our entire family and it's because of her that my brothers and I have had a solid foundation to build our respective lives . She fostered our abilities and talents . She encouraged the arts and sports . She reinforced the importance of education and something even more essential in my opinion - the importance of common sense . What sets how we were raised apart from how many were/are raised is - we learned the difference between a plan and a dream .

Spending some time in New York and now 6 years in Los Angeles I've come across so many that missed the understanding and distinction of the two . In their most simple forms : a dream is that ultimate personal point of happiness . A plan is everything it takes to get there . Most of the hopefuls , now in less than ideal situations , chased their dreams as they'd been encouraged to do their entire lives . They packed up and relocated with their eyes fixated on red carpets and flashing lights . As proud as those that urged them to take the ill advised leap may feel , the borderline transient - couch surfing - table bussing - ramen eating - unhappy reality of said hopefuls' current lives takes away from that which we'd applaud . Important life revelations were bypassed because they weren't facilitating 'the dream' .

Generally accepted by society , little girls dream of their weddings . Everything mapped out down to the lace detailing on their veil and the number of white roses in each flower arrangement but girls today completely skip the process of growing into strong , self sufficient , intelligent and self aware women and wonder why that magical day never comes . Little boys dream of being police officers or firefighters but skip the process of growing into honest , dependable and trustworthy men . As far as the arts go - specifically music - people want to sell out stadiums but don't put in the work of learning music theory , training their voices , and grinding day in and day out to ensure their voices are heard . They all miss developmental milestones and potentially life changing opportunities that could have taken them down paths to exponential happiness because they'd became fixated on a dream . ​The main photo for this write up is one of my absolute favorites . Taken last week , the more I look at it the bigger I smile because it re-enforces that I'm not crazy . Lol . My mind is an optimistic/realist hybrid and I feel as if the same can be said for Madi , Zack & Helen . (Raul , far left , is the new kid on the block . More on him later . Lol) .

​Madi Louch

(Pre 14yo) Lil Madi's dream more than anything was to be a Victoria's Secret model . Industry height regulations have proved a worthy foe BUT you know what they say 'when a door closes , a window opens' . She's become a brand in and of herself . a model and even more impressive - an International DJ who's toured with likes of Steve Aoki , David Guetta and Martin Garrix . She's happy .

​Zack Kalter

​Lil Zack's dream and what he worked towards most of his life was to be a Major League Baseball player . His life has gone every which way but looky there - he has multiple businesses , he's become a personality , an amazing content creator on numerous social media platforms AND he's found love . He's happy .

​Helen Owen

One of Lil Helen's many dreams was (is) to be a designer . Although she's not yet at that crowning moment - she's collaborated in design with California based Swimwear company Vitamin A & innovative solar powered backpack company Birksun , she's amassed well over a million in audience , has legit traveled the WORLD (London , Santorini , Mykonos , St Tropez , French Riviera , Bali and Thailand this year alone) , AND she's found love . She's happy .

I suppose my question is how different would their lives be had they obsessed about their dream ? We'll never know but the point is despite the fact their dreams have not YET been achieved - they've never became consumed by the dream . They have learned so much about themselves , they've developed in ways they never thought they would , they've become amazing people and they are happy .

I've strayed away from dreaming . We will never know what the future holds and more often than not life happens in the most unpredictable of ways . I've also strayed away from excessive planning because I've seen time and time again that it's a swift way to disappointment and upset . I relax because having strict expectations will guide you ever so gently into depression and that's nowhere anybody wants to be . I take the days as they come , from one sunrise to the next . I have an idea of where I want to be but I don't stress it because I know I'm here on this earth to do great things and I know it'll all work out . I take opportunities as they come because who's to say it won't take me somewhere I never thought I'd go and increase my quality of life in unimaginable ways . I grow one day at a time and I know the importance of being honest and being trustworthy and being dependable . I know that to better the world and make an impact I have to first better myself . That's common sense , thanks mom . :)

To the little girls - don't dream of the end all . Grow to be strong , intelligent and amazing examples of women and you can and will be whatever you work towards . You can have a career and anything you want including that perfect man waiting for you at the end of the isle ready to treat you like the queen you are for the rest of your life .

To the little boys - be honest and ask questions . Educate yourselves , learn right from wrong and understand the good in each and every one us . Be gentlemen and you will be respected . Take life day by day and the world will be at your fingertips . ​I don't know . We all have our opinions and I respect however you perceive me . Call me a new age hippie if you want because I choose not to dream or plan or stress . I get how that sounds 'bad' but grand scheme , I feel pretty free to do whatever and live whatever tomorrow has in store for me and I can't really find too much wrong with that . #SomeDailyJoe

An excerpt from Beyoncé's track Pretty Hurts , she answers as I would hope mankind would : To be happy . Happiness in itself is a phenomenon universally accepted as THE ultimate achievement of anyone's existence . We dream of a carefree life . One overflowing with love , with freedom , and a filled void we'd long accepted as 'a part of life' . We subconsciously wish of individual ecstasy that would , unbeknownst to us , simultaneously translate into a collective widespread euphoria . This is perfect , except perfect does not exist . . . yet .

I don't claim to speak on behalf of anybody other than myself . I don't believe to have all the answers . I address truths as I see them based off of the life I've lived and the world I exist in , because we all live in very distinct realities specific to -US- .

Primitive example : you and I are walking down the street . You express that it's deathly hot outside . I express that I'm comfortable . In your reality , because it proves true to YOU , it's hot . In my reality , because it proves true to ME , it's not . Those choosing to dissect will say 'that's just an opinion' but isn't an opinion simply something that's proven true to you ?

Despite the fact that we all strive to achieve happiness , I believe there's an unspoken controversy because we as humans can't precisely explain , label , categorize , pinpoint , or otherwise put happiness in a box . Some can't accept the blanket concept because individual happiness sometimes conflicts with another's idea of 'approved' happiness . I'd go as far as to say that for a lot of people , the relative nature of happiness is unsettling . I struggle to understand why examples like interracial or same sex relationships are still a thing , but they are . ​

Moving on .

The YOU hand .

On the YOU hand your happiness is your happiness . Period . At the end of the day , if you're happy - that's all that really matters in the world because those that love you will rejoice in your happiness . This is the hand I personally side with .

With that said but on the opposite side of the same hand , many have deep rooted insecurities - abandonment , codependency , the feeling of disappointing others - that keep them from reaching their individual happy place . It's almost crazy to think that in many instances we allow our minds and emotions to take over and we 'allow' the ones we love the most to be the ones keeping us from the one thing we've wanted our entire lives . . . happiness . . . meanwhile those loved ones have no idea . 'I couldn't move away to chase my dreams because I didn't want our relationship to change or for either of us to miss the other too much' . This is a YOU problem .

The THEM hand .

On the THEM hand , some of us have accepted and allowed individuals to be constants in our lives : family members , friends , acquaintances , and coworkers you can actually stand to entertain a relationship with outside of the work place . These are the people that we've attributed , to some degree , value to their opinions . A lot of times we don't do things for ourselves because the ones around us have voiced that in one way or another - your happiness is an inconvenience for or belittles them . 'What am I going to do when you're gone' , 'omg , you're so lucky - I never get to do anything like that' , 'just leaving me behind' or one that never gets old 'so jealous' . We've all heard these and much more and while we don't like to admit it , statements like these have left us feeling some type of way .

If you take anything from this , I hope it's what follows : STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK - ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR HAPPINESS . LIVE TO NOBODY'S STANDARDS BUT YOUR OWN

When I moved across the country and left everything and everyone I knew , I got every comment in the book . The 'I'm really going to miss you's came from a good place . Others came from selfish places . . . . specifically 'who am I gunna party with/ get us free drinks' , 'who's gunna introduce me to the hot girls' and my favorite 'don't worry , you'll be back and you can stay with me . LA is really tough to make it in' . These were coming from people I called friend . People I thought believed in me or at least simply wanted me happy . I soon noticed that they only wanted me happy when it was convenient for them . I was obviously a 'connect' but that's not what this writing is about , that topic has WAY too many negative undertones . No thank you .

I took my happiness into my own hands and ran with it . The best decision I've ever made . I've grown . I push my own envelope . I've become even more creative . I actively put out the BEST vibes I know how to . I smile so often it's almost unnatural and I've noticed that my happiness has been a motivator for others to run with their own .

This has gotten long and for good reason because sometimes you can't put your thoughts in a paragraph , yourself in a summery or your happiness in a box . I'll close out by saying this : if you are happy , be happy . If your genuine happiness whether it be moving away from your comfort zone , quitting your job and traveling the world , an interracial or same sex relationship , getting a boob job , or anything that isn't promoting hate or endangering anybody . . . run with it . Once we all find our individual happiness , we'll find ourselves chillin in that unbeknownst collective widespread euphoria and THAT's perfect . ​#SomeDailyJoe

When you're alone all by yourself and you're lying in your bed . Reflection stares right into you . . . are you happy with yourself ?

As she picked herself back up . . . As she started over . . . 'Yes'

This is not laden with images because this is something I'm hoping you all will READ .​​It's not every day we personalize death . We're outraged about the killing of unarmed Americans . We stand in unity with countries where their citizens are massacred by Isis or other terrorist groups . We even get up in arms about the inhumane slaughter of animals . It's important that these unfortunate occurrences garner our attention , as they should , but again - we rarely . . . individually . . . address death .

Let me first speak on fear . Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous , may cause pain or is a threat . Ok , sure . I understand . I think it's important to grasp the concept of fear but not to operate in it . Some say fear is a defense mechanism ; that it keeps you safe . I call bullshit . Fear is completely a product of the mind and a scapegoat we use so we don't have to face the root of issues . You're not afraid of the dark . The root is that you don't feel safe because you lack an awareness of your surroundings . You're not afraid of spiders . You are disgusted by their appearance and you are taught from a very young age that spiders can cause you harm . It's easy to say you fear things this trivial but it's simply a lazy way of getting around the root of why you're uneasy . Moving on .

Some of you know that my dad died 4 months before I was born . He died of a heart attack at 23 . Fast forward . My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer the first time and was given 10 years to live . She beat the 10 years only to be diagnosed a second time . Before the second diagnosis , she was neglected and to be frank - almost killed on multiple occasions courtesy of what I'm convinced was medical malpractice . . . but I'm no lawyer . Lost a friend to cancer . One of my close friends was killed in a car accident the last day of my senior year of high school . My God Father passed away just over 2 weeks ago . Not to continue and overload , one could say that I've had the reality of death or possibility of death in my face so many times in my life that I had no choice but to have a very eye opening pow wow with the concept of death .

I've realized that I do not fear death . If you haven't actually had a real ass minute with yourself , looked in the mirror and said 'We all are dying . You are dying' you probably haven't had your 'A Ha !' moment of enlightenment . What makes me uneasy about my death is the result of my death . It breaks my heart to think of what my death would do to my mother , brothers and sister . I can't even wrap my head around what I'd put by best friends through if I were to die . I'm weary about not making a big enough impact with the life I've been given . Addressing death and the realness that we are all gunna kick the bucket has given me a freedom and individual purpose I never knew I needed .

Once you come to terms with the FACT that you are dying , you can finally live .

I wake up each day grateful that I have another chance to put a smile on someone's face . I wake up with a quiet FUCK YEA mentality that I was given another chance to make an impact . I wake up happy that I get to talk to my mom again . Hell , I wake up with a smirk for the simple fact that I can roll over , check my IG and toss out some likes . Lol .

Addressing death and understanding that I don't fear death itself , rather I'm uneasy about the result of my death - I now live a life solely to do good . To encourage and support the people around me . To take risks . TO BE HONEST . To take no shit . To fall in love and be ok with falling in love . To tell someone they're beautiful . To hold a door for someone . When you understand that you can die at any second , it really puts your existence into perspective and it lights a fire in you to leave the BEST memories about you when that day comes . The clock is ticking and you'll never see the second hand as it draws closer and closer to that final chime so step up and own your life . #SomeDailyJoe

Our twenties , for most of us , is when we finally experience life truly on our own . We still have our support systems and our families are still there waiting to send care packages or money as soon as they sense we're even REMOTELY in need . . . but it's in these years that we open our eyes to our world and not the world shaped by our parents , our teachers , or old lady June down the street who use to watch you when you were 4 . Most of us stepped out of our comfort zones and stumbled into reality - HARD . I feel like I realize new things almost daily but these are 3 of the things I've learned in my 20s so far , maybe you can relate .

1. Things never go as you plan .

I had crazy and in hind sight - very unrealistic goals growing up . I applied to Harvard , which isn't the unrealistic part because I'm actually REALLY smart . I got pretty far in the acceptance process but decided to stay close to home due to my mom's first diagnosis with Breast cancer and ended up with a full ride academic scholarship to The Ohio State University . #GoBucks . I graduated and decided the move was Los Angeles . The plan : move to LA , sign a recording contract and be on tour within a year .

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Poor 22year old Joe . Quite the ambitious one . Long story short , it didn't happen and still hasn't happened but you know what , I'm not worried - and I'm very happy about it . I'd be a very different person had that happened . I wouldn't be writing this . I wouldn't have met some of the greatest people I know . I wouldn't have had half the experiences I've been very fortunate to have . Honestly , I don't think I would be as happy as I am now . I suppose what I'm getting at is , I don't believe in failure ; there are only opportunities to learn . We all wish for 10 million dollars but the reality of it all is most of us wouldn't know what to do with 10 million dollars . We aren't READY for 10 million dollars . We have these goals but we may not be ready for them in the timeframe we give ourselves to achieve them .

​2. That wasn't love .

New city . New shiny things . New REALLY hot people . I moved to LA from Columbus , Ohio where I worked at the Abercrombie & Fitch corporate office . Back then , I was surrounded by some of the most beautiful people . Models flown in for castings . Fashion shows . Fit modeling . Literally tripping over some of the people we #Goal on IG . I had my flings but they were whatever . Fast forward to LA . Thrust into a city filled with the faces and bodies of those deemed too elite for their small towns . I transferred to the A&F Flagship store because , why not ? I fell in love twice a day for the first year and a half out here . Los Angeles was over flowing with an energy I hadn't felt and an overwhelming concentration of beautiful people -both guys and girls . Some , a few shown below , have grown to be some of the best people I have ever met . Welcomed me with open arms and proved time and time again that they are just as perfect on the inside as they are on the outside . On the other hand , there were MANY , not shown , that gave me attention simply because I was the 'cute' new guy . A LOT of heartache . I didn't know who I was yet so I wasn't able to love myself , didn't know what love was so I couldn't expect others to love me back . I mistakenly equated attention for love and it messed me up for a bit . Caused me to get reckless - I mean people busting in on me making out with someone in the shadows in the club . 3am booty calls . Borderline body dysmorphia because I felt like I had to look like some ridiculously specific creation to keep the attention of these people because again - I equated attention to love . It wasn't love . I want to write more about this one but I'm gunna hold off so you guys will come back . ;)

I'd never tell anybody to do anything they would feel forced to do . I'd never tell anybody to do anything that makes them feel in danger . But I will tell all who are willing to listen that it's never ok to get complacent or to -stay- comfortable . The world is far too big . Cultures and people are waiting to be embraced .

Once I legit realized I was LIVING MY OWN LIFE , I had my personal 'the world isn't flat' moment and it was everything one would think it'd be . No fear of judgements . No fear of disappointing anyone . I was on a path to meeting someone I always wanted to meet - myself . I kissed some girls and grabbed some ass . I kissed some boys and grabbed some ass . (I've always been an ass man . Haha) . I found out what I'd look like as a girl , and people grabbed my ass . I went wild at my first music festival (Coachella) staying up for 38hrs . I cut A LOT of people out of my life which was much needed because for the longest time I felt I needed said people 'just in case' - whatever that means . I got tattoos . Lol . I did whatever . I made decisions for ME .

Coachella with @Vin_Sant & @KevinPearn

(( Halloween as Beyonce ))

​The reason for this post is to show you that even though I'm now in the latter end of my 20s , I still haven't figured everything out and that's ok . I don't beat myself up . I don't cry myself to sleep . I don't even allow myself to think that I've let anybody down . We don't know the ultimate meaning of life but I assure you it's not to get some 9-5 job or to impress people or to live up to standards placed upon you growing up . Life to me , is about the journey and writing your story as it comes along .

So get out there , kiss somebody and grab some ass . Haha . So when you look back on it , when you're going through whatever that impending and devastatingly life altering scenario may be , at least it'll put a smile on your face and get you through to your next sunrise . #SomeDailyJoe

Wow . It's been over half a month of celebrations . Over a half of month of smiling because I've been so lucky to be in so many amazing people's lives . The out pouring of well wishes , congratulations , and love were all received with the most open of arms . With the most open of hearts . I feel as if I cannot successfully put my emotions and gratitude into words because these birthday celebrations collectively have now set my personal standard to 'nearly untouchable' but as every Virgo would , I am absolutely going to try . I had to give some VERY special Thank You's and share some more photos!

Jason Strauss & Tao Group​@JasonStrauss

When it comes to Vegas , it's hard to hold a candle to Tao Group when hospitality is involved . They're essentially the Beyoncé of the industry . Everybody loves them and for good reason . With Jason Strauss' GQ good looks and a commitment to an unparalleled standard , he along with the incomparable Jordan Miner patiently made sure every little scheduling detail was perfect , because let's be real it was my birthday and from time to time I had an additional requests or 50 . Lol . To say Tao Group takes care of their friends is an understatement . Every detail from mind blowing dinners each night at Lavo , TAO and their newest addition Beauty & Essex to putting us up in the luxury suites of the Venetian to tables with what seemed like endless amounts of good vibes and yes , obviously alcohol - the celebrations were something off of a Pinterest Dream/Goals board . With cameos from funny guy Kevin Hart throughout the weekend , and our generation's 'man's man' Dan Bilzarian and the one and only KYGO partying with us at Marquee Day Club at the stunning Cosmo - my 4 night stint in Vegas was a movie . I -WISH- I could tell y'all more but I have a few young readers and you know what they say , what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (or on snapchat) . . . 😜

If y'all aren't following me yet 👻 : HashTagJenkins

Freixenet@FreixenetUSA​Shoutout to Freixenet for 2 very different but VERY important reasons . 1. As far as booze went , y'all kept my guests and I the classiest while getting ready for everything that Vegas had to offer . Celebratory drinks all around before we stepped out to take over the strip and mimosas in the mornings to help facilitate the regaining of any dignity lost the night before .2. Post Vegas , the invite to the Drake X Future Summer Sixteen Tour . Stop it . Not only did they put on an amazing show but you guys curated a pretty legit group to experience the concert and yalls hospitality . It's not everyday one gets to kick it with huge social media influencers and the babe of an artist Halsey while eating steak & shrimp , sipping on the Freixenet goodness and eating caramel apples , ice cream and gummy candies - listening to Drake perform One Dance - RIGHT IN FRONT OF US . Hahaha

Trendy Butler​@TrendyButler

Im sure y'all have noticed I ALWAYS wear some sort of head covering . We all have personal struggles and one of mine is one I was hoping to share somewhere down the line but I guess there's no time like the present . The skin on my scalp is quite possibly my biggest struggle courtesy of psoriasis . YAAAYYYYYY . *rolls eyes*. It doesn't define me by any means but it's definitely something I deal with every day . Anyway , that's for a post on another day . Lol . Snapbacks are typically frowned upon in Vegas night clubs so I want to give a special thank you to Trendy Butler who sent me a couple Beanies to wear on my trip . What better way to spend your birthday than being Anxiety free ?

iHeart Radio & iHeart Media@iHeartRadio & @iHeartMediaOfficial

Not to belittle any thanks I have for any of the previously mentioned . . . however . . . THE THANKS OF ALL THANKS goes to iHeartRadio & iHeartMedia for the tickets to see Queen Bey at the Formation World Tour . All who know me , know what this has meant to me . The love & liberation I felt when witnessing all that is BEYONCÉ is something I wish upon every being on this planet . The artistry . The vulnerability . The honesty . She's hands down the best entertainer of our generation and I am grateful to be alive in this moment in history . Life changed after I was blessed to see the On The Run Tour (shout out to Cathleen Cher for that because you single handedly facilitated my enlightenment) and Life shifted yet again after the Formation Tour . I am unbelievably thankful !

Beyoncé . Thank you for being so much to the lives of many . You are truly an amazing representation of a powerful woman . Talented , loving and an inspiration to the masses .

Thank you to everybody who sent a text , a DM , posted a memory , called me , and anything and everything in between . I'm a reflection of all the good that y'all are and that makes me happy .

Some would say I'm OBSESSED with striving to be good looking or aesthetically pleasing but whatever . Who doesn't wanna work towards complete confidence in their physical appearance ? THIS is the face that's gunna get me into the club or on a red carpet despite the fact that I have a bachelor of science from THE Ohio State University , a bomb ass personality and I like to believe I dress well . . . But I digress . My bombshell of a friend @SharlenaHassani who has PERFECT skin (I mean - please creep her IG) reached out about trying this skin care regimen and find Moses cause lawd Jesus I done died and went to heaven .

I know black don't crack - obviously - but I've been freakin out lately because I'm about to be 946 years old and I can't be havin none uh dat .

Jan Marini's Skin Care Management System is a 4 to 5 step morning and evening skin regimen that pretty much has me getting carded at the club again . It reduces fine lines and wrinkles , diminishes dark spots , leaves your skin looking like a DREAM and feeling like . . . what's soft ? Velvet ? That's weird but we'll go with velvet . And don't you fret my friends - it works on all skin types . Also if you're one of those people who checks Yelp and whatever before you try something new , it holds the title and is the 6 time winner of Best Anti-Aging System by the Beauty Choice Awards .

I wasn't paid to do this or anything like that and I wouldn't take the time to try the product for 2 weeks and write about it if this wasn't something I felt could really help y'all out . Go check them out , their website is below . Y'all stay cute and cheers to you !

The Money Team's very own was attached to the launch of a cosmetic line and a many were quite confused - as any normal human would be . We know 'Pretty Boy Floyd' enjoys the finer things in life but pastel green lipstick ? ! Rest assured he's not rocking a new look . Friday night at Vibiana in Downtown Los Angeles , Mayweather arrived in style to support who the media describes as his on again off again girlfriend , Doralie Medina , as she launched Bad Medina - a fun , vibrant , pop glam cosmetic line .

​Yes there was a lot of buzz about Money Man but the event was truly about #BadMedina and it went off without a hitch . An amazing venue , hand selected crowd , photo booths , gift bags , an open bar and so much love and support . Sheer opulence . Girlfriend or not , it shows that Doralie is someone important to Mayweather and has his full support in this endeavor . Best of luck to you Miss Medina and shoutout to those who continue to uplift you , Floyd and The Money Team!