I've done the snare/brush thing in an apartment rehearsal situation, works just fine, and you don't really need to turn the wires off for volume. Tap your foot quietly and the neighbors downstairs won't be bothered.

Bermuda

__________________DrumDoug: "I've tried talking to the guys about our stage volume, but it just falls on deaf ears"

I'm soon getting a kit and I have been thinking of buying a low noise cymbal pack and put silent stroke heads on the toms. I think this is the best solution if you want to work with the same "kit" or the same "ergonomics" and dynamic level.

There are a few options nowadays for low noise cymbals:

The Zildjian ones are the most popular (they came first), Sabian also recently released their version (they look amazing) and there are a couple of other brands that also do it. If you are a bit on a budget, CRX (by TRX Cymbals) made a "budget" option on this that was just released too, they are called "Air Series".
So yea, kind of that the market filled itself with the options, for the silent stroke heads I think the Remo ones are still the best ones out there. If you change top and bottom (or just remove the bottom) the air will just pass through without any resonance which is really amazing. They ARE quiet.