musings

FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

You mention spirituality a few times on your website. Do I need to be spiritual or religious in any way in order to see you?

No belief system is required for working with me, though we may end up doing work that touches your spirit. People of all spiritual persuasions are welcome to see me, including people who identify as atheist or agnostic.

I will probably ask you at some point to do some meditation, visualization or other things that seem a little “woo-woo” to you. You’re welcome to say “no,” as you are for anything I suggest. If you think these things are scientifically bogus, you may want to read “The Brain that Changes Itself” or similar work on neuroplasticity to learn more about how simple imagination can repattern your brain and shift its relationship to your body.

I feel nervous about contacting you or booking a session. I’ve never seen a sex coach before.

I hear you. Sex is pretty powerful all on its own, and talking to someone about your personal sex life can be downright frightening. Rest assured that I’m on your side. While I have every intention of challenging you, I don’t believe in suffering – we left “no pain, no gain” back in the ’70s! Our bodies are designed for pleasure. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to!

Are you going to touch me?

Bodywork can sometimes be a very useful part of the session, depending on your needs. So much of our trauma is stored in the body, and sometimes talking just takes us in circles.

If you are learning how to more gracefully ask for and receive what you want, we may practice that. If you are learning how to touch someone with greater awareness and sensuality, we may practice that too. Whatever we do, it will always go at the pace of the body.

How long are the sessions?

Sessions are usually 90 minutes to two hours long, except for our initial session which is one hour. Sessions via phone or Skype are generally an hour, and I occasionally book one hour sessions in person if you are simply looking for tips or information.

Is one session enough?

Generally no, though there are exceptions. I ask that folks commit to seeing me for three or more sessions, as change in the body takes time.

What if I’m a student or lower income person?

I’m willing to discuss lower fees and payment plans for folks who are excited about this work but can’t easily afford it. If money’s the only thing stopping you from scheduling, please ask. I also offer a limited number of scholarships and work trades.

What happens in a session?

Depending, of course, on whether we’re doing a session in-person or on the phone, sessions can involve anything from information-sharing to goal-setting to visualization to somatic exercises to bodywork to practicing new patterns. My approach is both practical and intuitive – consider me a mystical pragmatist, if you will. I’m interested in what works.

I want to emphasize your authority over your own experience: if I ask you to do something and it just doesn’t feel right to you (or doesn’t feel useful) then just say so! I reserve the right to do the same.

Is coaching the same as therapy?

No. While healing can and does occur in coaching sessions, coaching is not a replacement for therapy (though they can complement each other well). Coaching is focused on the present and the future, whereas therapy is often focused on the past. If you have experienced significant sexual trauma in your life and have never seen a therapist, I will probably recommend that you see one.

What happens if I need to cancel?

For cancellations and schedule changes I require at least 24 hours’ notice. If you miss your appointment you will be charged for the full session.

What kind of clients do you have?

Individuals, couples and groups of all backgrounds, genders, sexual orientations and ages (above 18, of course!). What they have in common: they are all seeking sexual transformation and are willing to do the healing and growth required to get there.

Is there anything I need to do to prepare before our initial session?

I will send you a pdf outlining directions and what to expect. The most useful thing you can do before your initial session is spend some time considering what your goals are and what you’d really like to get out of your time with me.