Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I am writing Adventy things on my personal blog that aren't so much Occupied. But a recent post about giving has stayed with me, and feels like a follow-up on my my last post here about Giving What We Have To Give. So I'm pasting in here too.

This is a bit related to a post I wrote last year about giving to people, not causes, so if this is a theme that you're thinking on, you may find it helpful to revisit that one too. The part I want my heart to remember in all of this is that Living Occupied isn't about spending my money in different ways that are "better" - it's about spending my life in way that is freedom-giving and life-making and that leaves the money question way far behind in like, millionth place. Money-first decisions, about giving at Christmas or giving to charities - those decisions are going to be bad, heart-hurting decisions. Life/Love-first decisions... those ones are the ones that will change this world and this heart.

This post is unapologetically Jesus-y (again) since of course, I'm all Jesus-y and all, but should Jesus really be a tripping point for you, well, maybe you'll still hear Good News in the middle of all this?

And so, a heart-first plea, In Defense of Giving:

Good (edit out bad word) am I
tired of presents becoming either The Most Important Thing or The Most
Awful Thing. Either we're being asked to buy presents (new unwrapped
toys only please) for the poor in our first world nation, or we're being
told to give up buying gifts altogether and instead just buy chickens
and cows for the nameless poor we've never met but for whom we should be
feeling badly for the next few weeks. I am UP IN ARMS I tell you! Up. In. Arms.Somehow we have
forgotten what the point of it all is - it is not about the Gifts!! It
is about the Giver! We give to each other to do our best imitation of
the Great Giver, the First Giver, the Only Giver Who Gives Well. We do
it to remember how hard it is to get it right, to remember how hard it
is do it with a warm, generous heart, to remember how much pleasure
there is when we do find a way to get it a little right and give warmly
and generously. We give to our
children so that they will learn how to receive. We coach them to look
for the love that the gift is given from - that's why all kids in all
time have learned to say thank you for even the ugly hand-made sweater
from whoever finds the time to knit one! Because we are being thankful
that someone, SOMEONE!!! someone loves us enough to try to bring us
delight. If we decide our
children have enough stuff and instead ask them to give up receiving and
instead be glad to give to the nameless poor a million miles away, we
teach them not generosity, but pity. We teach them that their own needs
are silly and unimportant, compared to the REAL need somewhere out
there that they've not yet seen. Does God ever do that? Does God ever
say, "You, you well-off okay person who is sad and lonely - there is
someone sadder and lonelier so I'll be giving my best stuff to them and
probably you should stop your boohooing and give to them too." Nope.
God doesn't. Not one time does Jesus say to someone who stopped him for
help, "You? you've already got enough! I'm saving my miracles for
someone who needs it more." Not one time.

Because it turns out
we all need. The reason why it is so hard for a rich person to get into
the Kingdom of Heaven is because it is so hard for them to see that
they need anything at all. But in fact, as anyone who has ever not
found what they were waiting for under the tree knows, we all want
something. We all need something. And our need for whatever that thing
is infinite and bottomless and the source of all pain. A need not to be
filled in this life. A need Jesus sees in each of us.So, I get it. That's kind of deep and not so helpful at Christmas: your kid doesn't need
anything. They have more than enough toys. More than enough books and
clothes and sports equipment. But your kid does need to know that they
are noticed. That they are known. That what feels important to them is
seen and cared about by the people they are longing to be seen by. Now the trouble is
that in our world, all the focus has landed on The Gift and I join in
with all I have to say nope, that's not it. My children will not
receive The Best Gift Ever from me. Nor will they be overwhelmed by the
Too Much I Can't Focus under a magically lit tree when they wake up in
the morning. But they will receive a few small things that we can
afford that tell them that we've noticed them and care about the things
they love and enjoy. We will point out the love that is behind each gift
received from aunts and uncles and grandparents. And we will celebrate
the wonder of being worthy of all that love.And through all of
this Advent that brings us to that morning, I'll be saying over and
over, Jesus is the Gift that we're really waiting for. Every time. No
gift will be the right one the way Jesus is the Right One. But all this
anticipation and excitement? That's meant to remind us of how we should
feel about the gift God has given in the giving of His Only Begotten
Son. So give your children
gifts, small modest ones that are a joy to receive and that do not
demand being a source of eternal fulfillment. Help your children give
what they have to give to the people they've been asked to love.And then relax. Please, just relax. It's meant to be good news. Good News.