Can the American church master the marriage two-step?

In light of this week’s historic Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage, it looks like conservative churches in the U.S. may be doing some fancy legal dancing in coming days. The question remains: Can the American church learn the marriage two-step?

The two-step is simple. Step one is a civil ceremony followed by step two, a blessing officiated by the faith community. In Côte d’Ivoire, a West African nation, I attended the religious ceremony for one of my students and his bride. When they arrived at the church, they had come straight from the mayor’s office where they had already been married. Now at the church, the pastor led them through a second ceremony, “in the presence of God and these witnesses,” brothers and sisters-in-Christ who added their blessing and approval in a service of holy matrimony.

Such an arrangement seemed odd to me at first since I only knew of one-step weddings. When my wife and I married in 1985, I recall the solemn words intoned by my brother, the presiding minister:

“By the authority invested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

On the application for the marriage license, the Reverend signed his name as the “officiant.” Practically speaking, he was acting both as an agent of the church and as an agent of the State, two roles wrapped up in a single individual. No prior ceremony at the town hall was necessary. We had merely picked up the paperwork from the town clerk and had the minister sign the forms after the ceremony at church, along with our witnesses.

But I wonder:

Has the one-step wedding joined together church and state in a kind of unholy matrimony?

As long as ministers of the Gospel are accredited by the State to perform wedding ceremonies that include a civil function, they are acting as de facto agents of the government, what one colleague of mine called a “sub-magistrate.” In this arrangement, it follows logically that the State controls the procedure including who qualifies to be married. As of June 26, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court has declared that two men or two women have the constitutional right to be joined together in marriage. It is not far-fetched to think that pastors who have in the past performed wedding ceremonies “by the authority invested in my by the State of ______” could be pressured to perform ceremonies for all comers, whether opposite sex or same-sex.

Here’s a better way:

STEP ONE: Conservative pastors must opt out of the current system. Instead, he or she would refer inquirers to the Justice of the Peace (JOP) or his/her equivalent in a given jurisdiction. The marriage license would be issued.

STEP TWO: People of faith who desire to have their marriage blessed in the presence of God and others of their faith community can do so, whether at the church, synagogue, mosque, or other house of worship. For Christians, this is the service of holy matrimony.

Our logic is clear: We understand holy matrimony to be a rite of the church which is distinct from the civil union (wedding ceremony) performed by the magistrate. As those faithful to the Scriptures, we believe that the blessing of holy matrimony is a life-long covenant sealed before God only by a heterosexual couple, one man and one woman.

What if two men or two women who have gone through a wedding ceremony conducted by the Justice of the Peace desire a religious blessing as well? Such a couple would be free to seek out a faith community that is willing to perform this ecclesiastical rite. More churches in the U.S. now do so than before. However, since the civil and religious aspects of a wedding would have been disentangled, the prospect of a gay couple legally coercing a conservative minister to perform the ceremony would be avoided since – by opting out – no conservative pastor would any longer be accredited by the State to carry out civil marriage functions on its behalf.

The United States is a pluralistic nation. Though once there was a Christian consensus, this is no longer the case. While some Christians consider the Bible authoritative on the question of marriage, in a democratic society, its teachings cannot be imposed upon those of other faiths or no faith. On the other hand, the longstanding tradition of the one-step wedding makes us vulnerable to having the unorthodox marriage views of others imposed upon us. It is high time that we get out of the civil marriage business. It is time that we learn the marriage two-step.

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8 thoughts on “Can the American church master the marriage two-step?”

Great Article! The two-step marriage was done by the Early Christian Church from my understanding as limited as it is.
My question is: If a Nazarene Elder elects to remain acknowledge by the state where they reside and they see nothing wrong with same-sex unions, is there anything specifically in the Manual where they Elder can be brought up on charges as the wording in the Bood of Discipline? I do not recall any specifics.

Hello Gary, thanks for the note. Check out in the Nazarene Manual (2013-2017) paragraphs 30.2 and 536.16. Here’s part of the language from 30.2: “Ministers of the Church of the Nazarene…shall only solemnize marriages of persons having the biblical basis for marriage. Biblical marriage only exists in a relationship involving one man and one woman.”

Well said, Greg! This is exactly the situation I envisioned after reading comments on Facebook the past few days, including some posted by you. It also mirrors the experience of a colleague of mine, a native of India, who attended the wedding of a family member in India a few years ago. There were actually three weddings: the “official” one at a government office, followed by two separate religious ceremonies (one Christian and one Hindu). While multiple ceremonies can get costly and logistically complex, the general idea of separating the state marriage from the religious rite or ceremony seems simple and entirely reasonable to me, and can be described as just a clarification of the relationship that church-based “officiants” have always had with the state. I don’t see it as a loss for the church or for those who wish to be married in a church (by a priest or pastor), and it should be acceptable to the LGBT community as well, since no rights are being abrogated. Let’s hope that such reasonableness is the rule as we move forward from Friday’s ruling.

Gregory, In your conclusion you state that we live in a pluralist society. This reminds me of a Leslie Newbigin book that I read in undergrad (Point Loma), titled, “The Gospel in a Pluralist Society.” While I cannot remember much of it’s content, I can tell you that it is not obligatory to assume give civil government authority to define an important rite such as marriage. Marriage has a long history of being separate from civil union in other parts of the world and in history. We will adjust to this ever more pluralistic era in American history or else place our efforts into a rudimentary issue that will keep us from adequately addressing a more worthy issue in the future. Thus, I can see myself, and would urge others, to consider what steps to take in regard to their status as civil wedding officiants.

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Meet Greg

Gregory Crofford, M.A., Ph.D. (University of Manchester, England, 2005, 2008) is an ordained elder in the church, ministering with the Church of the Nazarene. He is Dean of the School of Religion and Christian Ministry at Africa Nazarene University (Nairobi, Kenya) and Coordinator of the PhD (Religion) program. Formerly, he served as Coordinator of Education and Clergy Development for the Africa Region (Church of the Nazarene). Areas of academic interest include early Methodism, missional ecclesiology, and ecotheology.

Greg is also a graduate of Nazarene Theological Seminary (M.Div.- missiology, 1989) and Eastern Nazarene College (B.A.- Religion, 1985). He is a member of Phi Delta Lambda, a Fellow of the Manchester Wesley Research Center (MWRC), a member of the Wesleyan Theological Society (WTS) and secretary of the African Society for Evangelical Theology (ASET).

Writings by Dr. Crofford

Mere Ecclesiology: Finding Your Place in the Church's Mission (Wipf & Stock, 2016) explores the church's purpose and mission in two movements: 1) "breathing in" (worship and discipleship) and 2) "breathing out" (transformational service in the world). It is available in paperback for $ 13.60 USD from Wipf & Stock by clicking here..

"Greg has powerfully captured the church, 'God’s mission in the World', in these brief pages. Ecclesiology is generally a subject written and discussed in academic theological circles and rarely reaches the person in the pew. But this is one for the pew and will be valued as well."
-Jo Anne Lyon, Ambassador
General Superintendent Emerita
The Wesleyan Church

From the back cover:

"This is an excellent overview of the work of the church. Refreshing!"
- Jesse C. Middendorf, General Superintendent Emeritus, Church of the Nazarene

"If ever the church needed a grassroots understanding to fulfill its mission in the world in this significant time, then this is the 'back to the basics' guide so desperately needed."
- Gabriel J. Benjamin, Church of the Nazarene, Africa Region Education and Clergy Development Coordinator

"Crofford invites us into a discussion regarding the theology of church and the practical implications for ministry...This work will prove useful for the church engaged in the formation of Christlike disciples."
-Carla Sunberg, President, Professor of Historical Theology, Nazarene Theological Seminary

"In promoting a healthy church, Dr. Crofford emphasizes the need for 'spiritual respiration.' His conception of church health first requires a 'breathing in' of personal growth that is spiritual, knowledgeable, and communal. Second, spiritual respiration requires a 'breathing out' that is missional, ministering practically to others for their holistic salvation, societal well-being, and ecological care-giving. . . Crofford identifies step-by-step strategies that help Christians to implement 'spiritual respiration' in finding their place in the church's mission."
-Don Thorsen, Professor of Theology, Azusa Pacific University Seminary

The Dark Side of Destiny: Hell Re-Examined (Wipf & Stock, 2013) is available in paperback and Amazon Kindle editions by clicking here.

It is also available here for just $ 6.99 for users of the Nook e-reader.

From the back cover:

"Discussion of Hell is hotter than ever. Yet for all the attention the topic has drawn, few are the resources that provide an overview of the major points in dispute without bogging down in detail.

The Dark Side of Destiny: Hell Re-examined is an excellent primer, yet goes beyond a mere description of options. Dr Crofford weighs various views of Hell in the light of Scripture and finds them wanting. In the end, he champions a neglected view of last things that both responds better to the preponderance of biblical evidence and safeguards the character of God as equitable, holy, and loving.

With probing discussion questions at the end of short chapters, The Dark Side of Destiny is ideal for Bible studies, Sunday school classes, or small groups."

The buzz about Dark Side (from Amazon.com reviews):

"I read this book with my husband on a recent trip out of state. The book is short but says all I'd hoped it would say and does so very neatly. It gave us hours of discussions to make an otherwise dull drive very interesting." - Charlotte Burton

"Dr. Crofford thoughtfully engages with a neglected part of the biblical message: final judgment." - Andrew Pottenger

"Dr. Crofford writes well and treats all positions with gentleness and respect. Beware,-- this little gem is very thought provoking." - John Watton

Wesley and Methodist Studies (WMS) publishes peer-reviewed essays that examine the life and work of John and Charles Wesley, their contemporaries (proponents or opponents) in the eighteenth-century Evangelical Revival, their historical and theological antecedents, their successors in the Wesleyan tradition, and studies of the Wesleyan and Evangelical traditions today.

Dr. Crofford's article, ‘Grace to All did Freely Move’: Thoughts on Charles Wesley’s 1741/42 Hymns on God’s Everlasting Love' appeared in Volume 6 (January 2014). Based upon research conducted during the 2012 Wesleyan Studies Summer Seminar at Asbury Theological Seminary (Wilmington, Kentucky, USA), the essay examines the predestinarian controversy between the Wesley brothers and the followers of George Whitefield, with special focus upon the pastoral concerns that motivated the publication of the Wesleys' hymn collection.

The Global Wesleyan Dictionary of Theology is available in hardcover by clicking here.

Dr. Al Truesale, Professor Emeritus of Systematic Theology at Nazarene Theological Seminary, is editor of this excellent selection of essays by global scholars in the Wesleyan-Holiness tradition of Christianity.

Streams of Mercy: Prevenient Grace in the Theology of John and Charles Wesley (Emeth Press, 2010) is available in both softback and Kindle editions at Amazon.com by clicking here.

This is the monograph form of Dr. Crofford's 2008 PhD thesis from the University of Manchester (Nazarene Theological College), U.K.

From the back cover of Streams of Mercy

"Exploring the theological roots of the doctrine of prevenient grace in Anglican, Puritan and Quaker sources as they streamed into the theologies of both John and Charles Wesley, Gregory Crofford has written an engaging account of the significance of this salient grace. In a work marked by careful balance, Crofford ably demonstrates that the doctrine of prevenient grace not only helped the Wesley brothers to integrate diverse elements in their respective theologies but it also enabled them to avoid rigid determinism on the one hand and the 'despair of moralism' on the other. This is an important contribution to the field."

Streams of Mercy was cited by Dr. Amos Yong (currently the Director of Fuller Theological Seminary's Center for Missiological Research) in his plenary address on religious pluralism given to the 2012 meeting of the Wesleyan Theological Society held at Trevecca Nazarene University.