Surgeon General Places Warning for Women’s Health on Dave Brat

HENRICO, Va. — In an unprecedented move the Surgeon General has placed an official warning on Rep. Dave Brat, R-7th, to warn women of the effect he could have on their health.

Per federal law Brat must wear the warning at all times, but it is up to consumers to decide whether to heed it. The Surgeon General felt compelled to attach the warning to the Congressman following his repeated and unrepentant actions and statements made against the female gender.

“It’s my job to help guide the American public toward the most healthy life they can be living,” the Surgeon General announced in the accompanying press release. “Representative Brat has proven time and time again that any kind of prolonged exposure to him is detrimental to the state of women’s health all over the nation.”

The Surgeon General further clarified that, while the official warning targets Americans who identify as female, Brat is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle regardless of gender. “While men are far less susceptible to the negative effects, we do have research that points to habitual use eventually rendering the user cancerous.”

The official warning reads as follows:

SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Dave Brat Has Little to No Regard for the Wellbeing of People Who Identify as Women and Has Been Linked to Sickness-Inducing Levels of Stress and Injustice.