Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Bayelsa Books and Craft Fair...

Yes, it got off to a good start.... and the timing was appropriate, as rich tributes were paid to one of the greatest writers of our time ...'' Remembering Achebe'' attracted several admirers, and even though there were a few glitches, the Fair was declared a hit by writers and artists. Next year promises to be bigger and better. Way to go, Onyeka and Peace..
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This appeared in The Week....

Life
begins at 8o…!

“I want to live my life in a fully
‘bindaas’ way …” This is not a statement made by a sexy Bollywood starlet, but
by a lady who is well into her eighties. She lives in the locality and we share
a masseuse. The big difference being
that the common maalishwalla is booked by me just once a week for a Sunday
massage. It is the one weekly indulgence I greatly look forward to. But the octogenarian widow is so hooked on
the masseuse’s magic fingers, she uses her expert services for two leisurely
hours, 365 days of the year, starting as early as 5.30 a.m. And mind you, this
is not a therapeutic massage intended to provide relief to arthritic joins. It
is more a relaxing pummeling of tired
muscles, designed to take care of urban stress . But for the merry widow, it is
what kick starts her busy day. Once she is done with the pampering in a special
Spa-style room in her luxury apartment (complete with aroma candles and lounge
music), the lady hits her home gym, works out with a personal trainer, and
plans lunch at her favourite restaurant or club. Her wardrobe is contemporary
and expensive. She has several fashion designers at her beck and call, and
prefers her outfits customized. Her salon treatments ( hair, facials, nails)
take up the rest of the afternoon… and then it’s time for an evening aperitif
and dinner. You may be wondering where the family fits in? Aha! It doesn’t!
This is the interesting part.

Soon after her businessman husband died,
leaving a substantial portion of his wealth to his widow, their three sons
decided to claim what they believed was rightfully their share (over and above
what the Will stated). From this point on, the story follows a predictable
track – haughty daughters-in-law demanding more and more and more, with the
bullying sons exerting enormous pressure on the old girl to sell the spacious
flat and move into a small apartment. To her credit, she flatly refused to
buckle, arguing it was her late husband’s wish to see her live well and enjoy
his money till the very end. And that was that! The miffed sons promptly broke
off further contact with their old mother once they discovered she wouldn’t
play ball and pay up.On her part, she decided to reorganize her schedule, rejig
her priorities and enjoy her life to the hilt on her own. Today, she has a
support system of close friends, a couple of neighbours who look out for her,
and of course, family retainers to take care of creature comforts. She is
cheerful and full of enthusiasm as she plans short travels to hill stations and
pilgrimage destinations across India. She looks no more than 65, with good skin, her own teeth and long hair. She
knows her sons are waiting for her to die before they swoop down and grab
everything in sight. Perhaps, what they haven’t factored in so far, is their
mother’s will power. She has seen through their selfishness and avarice. Here’s
a lady who also makes time to educate girls from under privileged backgrounds.
She may also have ear marked money for various other charities she supports. Since she relies
on the kindness of strangers, who knows, some fortunate ‘ajnabi’ may be at the
receiving end of her generosity. But till the time for her to say ‘adieu’ to
the world comes, she is making the most of her privileges. Like several widows
I know in the city, she has come into her own after her husband’s death. She also has the wisdom to recognize the
futility of keeping up appearances. If her sons have abandoned her, so be it.
She will not resort to martyrdom or victimhood in order to conform to society’s
fake expectations. Boldly and bravely, she is going it alone. In an environment
that is increasingly materialistic and openly hostile to senior citizens (“Why
do these oldies have to live forever….?”), here is a gutsy woman who refuses to
slip away quietly or surrender her rights. I love her for loving life! For not
giving up on herself. For deciding to live on her own terms. There is no time
to brood or dwell on depressing family truths. She has sensibly eliminated such
toxins from her life. It’s a pity these ‘toxins’ happen to be her flesh and
blood. I thought of her before falling
asleep last night. My dreams were indeed pleasant. And I woke up with a smile!
May she rock on!

13 comments:

smart bindaas and for sure she loves herself a lot ..wishing her the very best of everything!nice and inspiring post,i loved the line...not giving up on herself...so true ...life is full of challenges fight until death(your positive words i remember when things are not going my way).

Totally my kind of lady! Yayyyyyy for her! :) I'm happy that the word "gift" still exist and of course that too can be practiced only---->mutually!!! Expecting wealth from others sounds so depressing!!! No matter what, even if it's from your own parents. It's like "smile" if you get any or else buzz off!

Sometimes it can be the other way round too. Like if father dies when kids are very very young and the widow mother can be extremely vulnerable!!!! That too when the young kids had been away from home for long time. And if either you or my mom had fall for fake strangers, it would definitely boil my blood!!!! So!!!!! Life is full of surprise in many demential so let's just hope for the bestttttt!

A truly motivational and life changing bookThis book is really a good book which shows us right path. but i readone more book named "ONE BOOK FOR LIFE SUCCESS" which is trulymotivational and life changing . .The writer has described in PlainEnglish with lot of examples which is easy to understand...For MorePlease watch the videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biORjS8ngv0YouTube video