"We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture."
~Reverend Ray Mummert

Thursday, March 15, 2012

In Which Ironicus Calls The Republicans Back To Their Priorities (Now With Update)

Frequent readers of this blog will probably not survive the coming zombie apocalypse...uh...we mean will recall that most of the denizens here in the marbled halls of IM Central carry only one x chromosome. That being said, we have to say that we're feeling some real sympathy for you double x's out there because it seems, if you're a republican, wimminz is the new gay. It's like they've given up on the whole homos can't marry homos thing and moved on to the vajayjay.

Our favorite is when some pasty white guy comes on the tee vee and says he's concerned it might violate somebody's religious conviction somewhere if some slut of a whore of the female type got a hold of them there no baby pills and went and did the horizontal shuffle, and maybe enjoyed it. Women enjoying sex! Think of the pressure guys! Think of the expectations if word gets out! Plus she won't have to pay for it by popping out a new little congregant. But it's really all about god.

Now, the last time we checked the good book didn't say anything about oral contraception, but it does have a lot to say about girl cooties:

"For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man
created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of
the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head;" 1
Corinthians 11:9, 10.

Women should remain silent in churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission..."1 Corinthians 14:34

Wives submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord." Colossians 3:18

“When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she shall not go out as the male slaves do.: Exodus 21:7

Well, we could go on, but we think you get the point. What we're seeing here is just the adult version of the "No Girlz Alowd" club a lot of us single xers belonged to until about fourth grade. Which, coincidentally is also the level of intellect behind a lot of this. Personally we think this whole mess could be cleaned up quickly if more republican wives stumbled across a copy of Lysistrata. We mean, let's get back to bashing the Muslims like god intended, OK?

UPDATE: OK so you guys want to control all the vajayjays, but we have to tell you with stuff like this going on? Ur doin' it wrong, dude.