family, travel, writing

April 2010

I don’t remember how long we waited to take Melina out and about, but we didn’t wait more than a day with Nalani. By four days old we’d walked her down the street to Actual Cafe not once but twice, the second time with her in the sling and me braving it with both girls and no Joey. (We did have neighbors Rachel and Kendall to help out.) We’ve also had plenty of visitors, both family and friends, and have loved all the dinner foods and tasty treats people are bringing. It’s great to have a stocked freezer for when Joey returns to work later this week.

On Saturday we took the whole family to Raycer’s third birthday party, then on Sunday we took our first “big” family outing, to the Little Farm in Tilden. Melina had fun feeding the goats and watching the cows while Nalani snoozed in the sling. We all enjoyed a picnic on the grass then headed to Elmwood for some ice cream.

Back at home, Melina continues to copy Mama and gets a little bent out of shape when she can’t do any more than kiss the real baby. The other night she grabbed the nursing pillow, strapped it around her waist, and stuffed her baby doll (also named “Alani”) under her shirt. Then she laughed and said, “But I don’t have any milk!”

We’ve all been enjoying time with our newest family member, now almost two weeks old. I know it’s cliche, but it honestly feels like she’s been with us for so much longer – and in a sense, she has. Melina’s been a champ big sis. (Though she is super sensitive and testing limits more than ever… but it could be worse.) She helps out with real diaper changes by handing over diapers and wipes, and loves to diaper her own baby doll as I feed Nalani. The only downside is that she uses the baby’s real diapers and refuses to reuse them “because they’re poopy, Mommy!”

We still don’t have a fantastic nickname for Nalani, but Daddy’s taken to calling her “Big N.” Melina’s stopped saying “Baby Pink” but can’t quite pronounce her real name. (She drops the “n” and says “Alani” which is equally beautiful!) She might sense she’s a little off, because she usually just calls her “Baby Sister” instead. As in, “Daddy, Mommy, Baby Sister I’m ready to read stories come here!”

Just eight days ago I was waddling around Berkeley, waiting for little Nalani’s arrival. How did it all happen?

On the evening of 4/13, Joey and I felt fairly safe making last-minute plans for our wedding anniversary the next day. We lined up my parents to pick up the kids from school and watch them while we had a final us-only night out before baby. “Too bad I can’t have sushi,” I’d said. “Kirala sounds yummy.”

Turns out my parents had to drive up a little sooner than they’d planned. At around 3am minor contractions woke me up. I’d been having Braxton Hicks for weeks, but these were different: They started then stopped, then started again. The real deal? By 5:30 I was convinced it was, and told Joey we should call my parents. We waited until a little after 6, so they could arrive in time to help get Melina to school. We stayed in bed timing the contractions, still 7-8 minutes apart, until Mina woke up and the regular morning routine began, my contractions increased in intensity, and everything started to feel a bit surreal.

My parents arrived at the same time Kai got to the bus stop on the corner (he was with Jen the night before), so he came in with them and gave me a kiss on the cheek just as I was trying to breath through a contraction and pack our toothbrushes in the hospital bag. I sat with my mom and Melina at the table as Mina ate her breakfast, and with my iPhone in front of me even took the time to update my Facebook status: “Looks like it’s baby time! And a happy anniversary to Joey and me.” The distractions lessened the intensity of the contractions, and of course no one was timing anything.

Joey mentioned something about taking Mina to school (Um, I think we should call my doc instead!?) but then agreed to let my parents, and we really should have left for the hospital then. But the on-call doc hadn’t returned our call, and, well, given Melina’s 27-hour marathon birth, we weren’t expecting Nalani to make her entrance until sometime that afternoon at the earliest. By the time my parents got back, Joey was talking about taking out the trash (Really? Please let my dad do it), I was laboring on the couch (Maybe we should just go to the hospital… ooooo another one….) then BAM, mid-HUGE-contraction, “Oh SHIT! My water broke!” And an incredible pushing sensation.

Mom helped me dry off and change my clothes, then Joey and I finally hopped in the car for the 10-minute ride to Alta Bates. That felt like forever. Half-way down Alcatraz I felt the most insane pain, an entire wave like my whole middle was turning upside down and trying to push out between my legs. Screaming, I had to brace my hand against the door to prop my butt into the air. It hurt too much to sit.

It lessened by the time we hit the hospital, and Joey offered to drop me at the entrance. “No, I can’t walk in by myself!” so he drove all the way to the top of the garage and found us a spot, just in time for another huge surge that left me screaming “I can’t move!!!!” right when he stopped the car.

We drove back down, where a woman cut in front of us right at the payment booth. “Hey!” Joey screamed, “My wife’s in LABOR here!” The lot attendant told us to drive 20 yards forward to valet parking, where we could get a wheel chair. I was screaming the whole time, still thinking I had hours of this ahead and could I really make it that much longer without any drugs? The valet attendant took one listen to my wails and told me “You need to breathe…. I have four sons…. relax….” Yeah, I think your WIFE went through this part of having those four sons.

The fight against the pushing sensation was so strong I couldn’t sit down on the chair as we rode up to the third floor. There, the nurses took one look and listen and asked “Second child?” Yup. “We’re going to skip triage and get you into a room.” Phew. At last.

In no time I was stripped down and hospital-gowned and put on a delivery bed. Someone called my doc. Joey saw the nurses switching on the baby warmer and decided he should call my parents and tell them to come quick. But we both still thought we had at least another hour until the nurse who checked me announced: “Fully dilated and zero station. It’s time to have a baby!”

Wow. Really? Then, “You can try to breath through the next few contractions so Dr. Huibonhoa has time to get here, or, we have a mid-wife right here, as a back-up.” Mid-wife, fine, I need to push NOW! And then, miraculously, just as Joey shouted “I see a head of hair!” my doc walked into the room and took charge. “Great job, Lynn. Push again.” Two, maybe three pushes. “Now I need one more to get the shoulders out.” One more? That’s it? This part took three hours with Melina. Here we go….

And then my baby girl was on my chest. Just like that. She didn’t cry, she’d made her entrance so quickly she probably didn’t even have time for air-shock.

By the time my parents arrived 15 minutes later, I’d already delivered the placenta and Nalani was checked, weighed, cleaned up, and back on my chest. We asked the birth time: 10:19 am. And what time did we arrive in labor and delivery? Someone checked the log. 10 am. 19 minutes to spare, wow. I think if we’d gotten to the hospital sooner she would have arrived around the time the valet parking attendant was telling me “Just breath…”

The rest of Nalani’s birthday was relaxed, even serene. We had the whole day ahead of us to recover from a very short labor, and to enjoy our time together as three. After school, my parents brought Melina and Kai to meet their new sister. The room suddenly burst with energy and excitement, our whole family together at last, the best anniversary present imaginable.

When they left Joey walked out with them, to pick up Kirala-To-Go sushi for my first post-pregnancy and our fourth anniversary dinner together. In the end, we got our peaceful sushi dinner together, with a panoramic view of the Bay and Golden Gate Bridges, stretching from Oakland to SF, over the hospital parking lot. Only unlike our original plan, this one included our very special gift.

I spent some time with Melina at preschool today, and Ms. L and I ended up talking to her about how the baby’s “coming out of mama’s belly soon.” A mom and a preschool teacher should know better than to use the word “soon” for anything happening after today with a 2.5-year-old, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.

After stories it was time to go to bed but Melina got really upset because she wanted the baby to come out first. In her tired state she started to cry, “But I want to see the baby now!” We all do, Jelly Bean, but she’s coming in her own time.

The little girl’s always loved books, but here’s how extreme it sometimes gets: I’ve found that it’s much easier to drop her off at preschool at story time than snack time. Seems unusual for a girl who also loves food, but at story time she walks right into the room with barely a wave good bye, whereas at snack time she still has a hard time letting go of my leg.

At story time each night she insists on reading to us (rather than us to her) more often than not. She also has to have a book with her whenever she poops. I think she owes this habit to Kai. Too bad we only have one bathroom in the house.

And my favorite, in terms of being a life saver for us: She takes at least three books to bed every night and “reads” them (often quite loudly, and with the help of her mushroom nightlight) for up to 40 minutes before finally going to sleep. We often hear her get up in the morning from the loud crash of books onto the floor. I don’t mind this habit: To a certain extent it keeps her from getting out of bed over and over and over again. And it won’t be long before she’s reading the actual words. In the end, she’s starting a habit that both her parents enjoy, so who can blame her?

Easter’s been in the air at our house since I pulled out the baskets and plastic eggs a month ago, well before St Paddy’s Day hit. The peek-a-boo spring weather of late March helped with our spring spirit, too, but turned to cold rain by the time Easter Day actually arrived.

No matter: We had fun coloring Easter eggs with Lily and her mommy last weekend while the two dads poured concrete around the new sump pump in our driveway. Then for the big weekend, Grandma and Grandpa Weiss, and cousins Lucas and Noah joined us for a huge egg hunt at Willard Park. Luckily the rain stayed away til later, and all the kids got tons of candy loot except for Lucas, who was so upset he couldn’t get ALL the yellow eggs that he refused to take even one.

Melina was a little hesitant at first, too, but because of the human-sized bunny leading the eggstravaganza. “I don’t like him! He’s scary” she said over and over…. At least until the bunny shouted “Ready, set, go!” into a loudspeaker for the two-and-under crowd, and I quickly thought to say “Hey Melina, there’s CANDY in those eggs, why don’t you go put some in your basket?” Suddenly she was out of my arms and running across the field with the rest of her friends.

Kai and Melina also got some fun toys from the bunny: tutus (which they’d been asking for), funky sunglasses, and bubbles were the greatest hits. Well, and the candy. I think they would have been almost as pleased with one huge lollipop each, and nothing more. Though Melina continues to carry her basket and loot all over the house, and counts her candy whenever the mood strikes. So far she hasn’t eaten anything that’s wrapped, but I caught her sneaking an M&M yesterday. Too tempting!

This morning Meli woke up saying “Kai told me I could have all his candy.” When did he tell you this? “This morning.” But he’s at his mom’s house. Maybe you dreamed it. “NO, he TOLD me I could have it. Then he was sad.” I bet he was.