Thursday, July 14, 2016

I had to deal with racism yesterday with a buyer/seller. So I wanted to vent a little as I work alone and have no one to talk to about this.

I had a picture up showing myself so of course customers know I'm black. But had I not been Black.. I'm pretty sure this buyer would not have referenced me to being on "Welfare" and for not having a "man". I take those words as to being harsh as I for a Black woman and with 3 children and a husband that I have been with and married to for 16 years!!!, we have always worked for our money, and had no help from the WELFARE, family or friends. We are one of the surviving couples we know that are black, all the kids by the same parents, and paying our own bills with no help. So for her to state "welfare" and no man" in the same referenced paragraph is just racist because had I been of another race; maybe hers; she would have not said that. This is not the first time a buyer has done this sort of thing to me. Find out I'm black then start pulling the welfare and nigger card.

This buyer who is a seller herself; probably has black customers and I would not support this buyer/seller if I know something of this nature has taken place.

The buyer/seller kept messaging me over the July 4th holiday weekend in which I have the right to take off. Not only was it a holiday but it was also a weekend so I was not in my office. I was away and DID reply on the holiday and weekend on my phone which was very limited. So when I did get back to my office I confirmed her order and she was fine with it. Well maybe she became forgetful and she started writing to me being nasty and rude stating how all other vendors ship their items within a few days. A few days does not include business days or holidays. Also all vendors should not be compared. I work alone. I don't have any help and all of my orders are either handmade or the process is done by me. Just recently I asked my 11 year old daughter to help me out a little but that's not the point. My items take time and care. I can not rush something because all other vendors have help and or machines making their items. I just can't. Most of my customers understand that and appreciate that from me. I take pride in my items and that takes time. I usually ship within 6-10 business days. So for someone to clearly know the details before they purchased which she had inquired about my bath bombs as well and was asking for discounts and the bath bombs she wanted were on the heavier side so I wouldn't be able to discount that much.. if anything she could get the dress for free shipping; she declined and only wanted the dress. But then she waited until I shipped the dress to CANCEL her order and the site cancelled the order so now I have to do a intercept mail with the post office which cost $10-$12.00 so that the customer does not get my item and keep her money. This is the same thing that happened on the Poshmark site before which is why I will not use their platform.

I admit, I said she was built like a chicken nugget and lived in a hut or a 1100 square-feet cave which was out of my character. I should have just ignored her but then she tried to call me jealous and kept saying that I need to take care of my kids and that I'm a welfare recipient and I DO not agree with the welfare system and how people try to sucker off of it so that makes me angry especially since I have never been on welfare and neither have my kids. They don't know what an ebt card looks like and have never lived off the section 8 or system so that bothers a hard working Black Business Owner like myself. I pay all my own bills and taxes and have medical for my kids but not myself because it is too expensive and have been taxed on that. I don't like the stereotype that all black people must be manless or on welfare. Because I am not that person. I have a husband and I am not on welfare and I'm proud of it! So for a second it did not bother me but then she just kept at it and I'm thinking, you probably have black customers but think this about us.

Her shop online is ABOVE AVERAGE BOUTIQUE OUT OF

University City, Mo.

She only has one item listed on her site so probably means she stays under the radar by not paying taxes and probably doesn't even have a business license.

ABOUT THE SELLER

We look, we seek and we shall find! Fashion is how you feel in what you wear! It's timeless, priceless and amazing! From my lounging gown to my formal wear; I love style!If you have any questions, about my items; don't hesitate asking! Enjoy my closet with some name brands and vintage items! Fashion is real and it is.."Forever!"

This post alone is giving her a nice shout out. Maybe she will get some business. But I felt like people should know about her type. I work hard and I'm an honest business and would never just outright come out and talk about people like that. Not unless they are coming for me. I think I need to learn more restraint for myself. I had got into my bible after all that and online found this ...

Dealing with mean people—Confrontation

We should be empathetic, and we should always respond with kindness. Being mean to a mean person only escalates the situation; we are called to be peaceful and “turn the other cheek” (Matthew 5:38–42; Romans 12:18). But if the mean person is a Christian, the Bible recommends confrontation. We all sin, of course. As James said, “We all stumble in many ways” (James 3:2), but a pattern of meanness needs to be confronted, per the instructions in Matthew 18:15–17. We are to confront our brothers and sisters when they sin against us in the spirit of restoration. If they refuse to listen, we should take a few other faithful Christians with us, again in the spirit of reminding the offending Christian that he is not behaving according to his profession of faith. If that does not work, the matter is taken before the local church. If he does not listen to the whole group, he should be treated as an unbeliever—no enmity or retaliation is called for, but the relationship has changed.

I'm just going to let that marinate and carry on. At the end of the day it doesn't change anything, this person does not really know me other than a picture she seen online and so she is not really bothered with me; she is bothered with herself. If she knew me, she would know I take care of my kids and no welfare is involved and I am a proud mother and wife for 16 years! Celebrating our anniversary next month to be exact!

I have been dealing with a stalker so anyone who even reminds me of the person just automatically gets to me, but when sit back and look at what truly matters; none of this nonsense that other people try to bring upon me matters at all.