NHL macho men in pain, too

Ex-Flames tough guy Dingman weighs in on Belak death

Former Flames enforcer Chris Dingman, at left playing for Calgary in 1998, says getting over the macho mentality that sees players brush off pain has to be pushed in order to address issues that might lead to suicide. CALGARY SUN FILE PHOTO

But the scrappy former member of the Calgary Flames recognizes there’s a deeper issue behind the rash of deaths this summer of NHL enforcers.

More than one issue, in fact. So while you can make the easy jump and lump Derek Boogaard’s speculated accidental overdose, and the reported suicides of Rick Rypien and Wade Belak together because they all were league tough guys, they’re not the only NHLers who struggle with issues like dependency and depression.

“I think the biggest thing is getting over this macho mentality of, ‘I’m OK, I’m OK, I’m OK, no problem,’” Dingman said a day after Belak was found dead in Toronto. “Especially in sports, where guys are meant to be big and tough, people look up to you. You can’t say, ‘Hey, I’m having a bad day — I’m not feeling good.’ It’s hard to say that. We need to get over that stigma.”

With more than 760 PIMs in 385 NHL contests — including 166 in 72 with the Flames — Dingman doesn’t believe that stigma is limited to fighters. But he does concede their job comes with a lot of pressure.

“I don’t think you can necessarily narrow it down to just a fighting thing and fighters,” Dingman said. “It is a really hard job. It’s really hard on your body and really hard on your mind. There’s all this pressure to make it, and then when you make it, there’s all this pressure to stay there.

“When I was fighting, I didn’t want to get beat up because it’s embarrassing. I didn’t want to embarrass myself — I didn’t want to embarrass my teammates. I didn’t want to let my team down — I didn’t want to let my family down.

“Fighting is a tough job.”

That may be tough to believe for hockey fans with your typical 9-to-5 jobs, who see NHLers as the luckiest people on Earth, but athletes are not immune to the same stresses those who look up to them deal with.

“I think people put you on a pedestal, rightly or wrongly, and some people want to knock you off that pedestal,” said Dingman, whose NHL career ended after the 2005-06 season but is still just 35 years old. “Some people have a hard time understanding.

“When these things happen, it brings to light that players and athletes are human beings — they’re real people.”

Fighters, if they have a weak spot, might be the most sensitive of all. A desire to battle for their teammates is often the reason they end up in that role and dropping the gloves.

“Things affect them more. Your feelings do get hurt,” Ding-

man said. “People scream at you and boo you and call you names and personal things.”

The fear of being mocked by admitting either during or after their NHL careers that they have a problem of any kind, may be keeping the pros from speaking out.

“You should be able to talk about things and open up without negative things being said,” Dingman said. “It’s almost like that schoolyard thing where you feel like you’re vulnerable to be humiliated or be made fun of.

“I think that’s a big part of it. It’s hard to tell people.”

If there’s one bright light coming from these dark months, it may be that both players and the public are opening up.

“Now guys are talking about their experiences and how it was hard for them (to transition to life after hockey). It’s a shame it takes something bad to happen for people to open up and talk, but I think it’s great guys are talking about these things.”