Writing Creatively, Courtesy of My Muse

Main menu

Monthly Archives: April 2016

The last poem I posted, Harvest Day, was written during the darkest time in my life, my unexpected divorce. That’s right, it was worse than going through cancer. Not to minimize the hell that cancer was, because that ordeal was horrible. I knew I would beat cancer. But I did not think I would survive the divorce. I couldn’t sleep or eat. And although I lost a lot of weight, I do not recommend divorce as a weight-loss program!
Eventually, I climbed out of the pit of despair and rejoined the land of the living. I wrote Finding My Way during that arduous climb.Continue reading →

Hello, Friends! Welcome to the ongoing saga of “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched.” Today’s dating tales of woe concern two men and their love affairs with alcohol.
The first bachelor passed the email and phone call tests. When I met him, there were a few red flags, but he seemed fun and easy to talk to. So, against my better judgment, I went on several dates with him.
He declared that he was working out 4-5 times a week, was living a healthy lifestyle and was going to lose more weight. He had already lost 100 pounds.
Although I did not observe him making healthy food selections, it was his drinking that bothered me. He did not stop at one or two drinks.
If you have been following me through this journey, you know I am a one-drink person when I am out, and I am the designated driver. I will not get into a car with someone who is legally drunk.
During our last date, I met him at his favorite restaurant. This place carried a special type of wine just for him. I learned that on our first date. That was a red flag, but I chose to overlook it.
He greeted me with a hello kiss. Then he proceeded to tell me how sick he was and how horrible he felt. The congestion in his chest was terrible. He held his chest and coughed. It sounded like bronchitis to me.
Backing away, I reacted, “Yikes, no more kisses for you until you’re well.”
He replied, “Oh, you’re one of those.”One of those? If you mean people who don’t want you contaminating them with all of your respiratory infection germs, yes, I’m one of those. Be considerate. Good Lord!
I sighed as I sat across from him.
Then he coughed and coughed, without covering his mouth.
I am sure I cringed as I shifted to the right. At least that way he was not coughing directly on me. I mentioned that he should be coughing into his elbow.
Eventually, he covered his mouth with his hand. But then he wanted me to hold that hand.Are you trying to get me sick on purpose?
Thank God I had antibacterial wipes.
While he enjoyed his third glass of wine, he saw I was agitated. He asked, “What’s on your mind?”Oh, buddy, you just asked the wrong question. I don’t think you really want to know. I’m thinking I’m going to catch this plague you have. And your drinking is bothering me. But since you asked…
“The amount you drink bothers me. Every time we’ve gone out, except one time, you’ve had a lot to drink. Not just one or two glasses of wine, but multiple glasses. I’m concerned.”
“I’m not an alcoholic.”
“Do you drink every day?”
“I usually don’t go out during the week.”
Not sure what that had to do with the price of tea in China, I replied, “Well, I won’t ride with a person who’s legally drunk. If you’re always going to drink like this, I will always have to drive.”
Defensively, he argued, “I am not drunk! Do I look drunk? Do I act drunk? Am I slurring my words?”
“No.” Because you have built up a tolerance.
He continued, “My friends drink hard liquor. I drink wine. It’s better. We’re here every Friday and Saturday night drinking at the bar. They drink hard liquor. I drink my wine.”Every Friday and Saturday? Drunk is still drunk, dude. Any cop will tell you that. So will a blood alcohol test.
I stated, “It doesn’t matter what you’re drinking. Alcohol is alcohol.”
“It’s just wine. And now you’re making me uncomfortable and self-conscious.”
“Sorry, you asked, and I had to say something because it’s making me uncomfortable.”
Dismissively, he responded, “You’re making something out of nothing. I’m not an alcoholic. You don’t drink wine, so you don’t understand.”What’s there to understand? Wine contains alcohol last time I checked.
Then he stopped the waitress and asked her for another glass of wine.Are you freaking kidding me? Way to show me you don’t have a drinking problem.
She emptied the contents of the bottle into his glass. This was glass number four.
As he drank, I got the “you’re not the boss of me” look and vibe.
I shook my head and ate my dinner.
I am not trying to be the boss of anybody. But drinking and driving is a serious issue. And I do not want to be with someone who drinks to excess all the time.
Then he said, “Next you’re going to tell me I can’t ride my motorcycle without a helmet.”Heavy sigh.
Annoyed, I said, “No, you can do whatever you want.”Obviously, because nothing I say matters anyway.
After he drained his glass, he asked the waitress for yet another glass.
She answered, “I emptied the bottle last time. Do you want me to open a new bottle for you?”
“Yes.”
If you are counting with me, this was glass number five.
Finally, dinner was over.
After that evening, my texts to him were short.
He texted, “So I’m assuming by your lack of communication and enthusiasm, you’ve lost interest and can’t get over my evil wine drinking ways.”You guessed right! That and your complete disregard for my welfare by spewing all over me and for not understanding why I would not want to put my life into the hands of someone who was legally drunk.
I wrote, “You disregarded my concern completely. I understood finishing the glass in front of you. Then you had her open another bottle. And you got defensive and dismissive. I can’t handle being with someone who drinks 5 glasses of wine in that short amount of time and disregards my feelings.”
“Actually it was 3 glasses and that hardly makes me an alcoholic…I wasn’t trying to dismiss you by ordering another glass but I was trying to make a point that I’m 52 years old and I’m pretty set in my ways.”
I was not going to argue about the number of glasses or about anything else for that matter. I was drinking water and clearly counted five glasses of wine.
So that was the end of that!

A friend attempted to help me in my quest for “Mr. Right.” She invited a friend, an extremely wealthy businessman, to meet us for drinks and a light dinner. We were sitting at the bar when he showed up three sheets to the wind.
Obviously, that was extremely disappointing, in and of itself.
And did I mention that he looked older than my parents? So, he had nothing working in his favor.
I was polite at first. But after I had heard the exact same story for the third time, I was mentally done. I tried to ignore him the best I could, but he kept hanging on me.
I caught the eye of a young, handsome guy a few seats away. I gave him my “help me” look. He laughed and looked away.Damn!
Without another option, I disappeared to the ladies’ room. And I stayed in there entirely too long. When I returned, “Tipsy” was sitting in my chair.Thank you, Jesus!
I quickly sat next to the handsome guy.
He looked up at me and smiled.
I smiled back. “I need you to save me.”
“I know. I saw the look.”
Exasperated, I threw up my hands. “But you didn’t save me.”
“Trust me, we’ve got your back.”
“Who’s ‘we’?”
“As soon as you left for the bathroom, I watched your drink. I was convinced that guy was going to put something in it.”
“Really?”
“Yes. He looks like that kind of guy. A real creeper.”
I laughed.
He continued, “And the bartender is watching out for you too. And the piano guy hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night.”
“Good to know I’m covered. Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
He wore a wedding band.Of course, the gorgeous ones are always married!
I said, “I know that you’re married, and I’m not hitting on you. I just need someone to talk to until he leaves.”
“No problem.”
We had a nice conversation. And when his wife and teenage daughter showed up, he introduced me to them. He explained the story. His daughter got wide-eyed when he said he thought the guy was going to drug my drink.Glad I could provide a teachable moment. Hopefully, she’ll remember this when she goes to parties.
This nice family even asked me if I wanted to join them at a booth for dinner.
“No, thank you. I don’t want to intrude.”
“If you change your mind…”
I shook their hands. “Thank you.”
My friend and Tipsy went out to smoke.
The bartender said, “You look like you could use that dessert now.”
I nodded. “Yes, please.”
I ate my chocolate dessert and talked to the bartender and the pianist.
Finally, it was time to leave.
My leather jacket was on the back of the businessman’s chair. He insisted on helping me with it.
As he slipped on the coat, he commented, “Oh, the leather is so soft.”
Then he reached around and grabbed my right breast.
Let me tell you something, dear readers. I have never, ever hit anyone. But at that moment, I really wanted to hit him.
It took every ounce of strength I had within me not to hit him.
I hear you screaming, “Why the hell not? Hit him! Slap him! For God’s sake, knee him!”
I was almost a head taller than him. He had been drinking steadily since he walked in. So, he was drunk as a skunk and unsteady on his feet. And I knew that if I hit him, his sorry geriatric ass would go down hard, very hard. And with my luck, he would have broken a hip. Then he and his army of lawyers would have had me arrested.
Friends, I would not do well in jail. Not for a single minute.
Instead, I will let karma take care of him. He will get what’s coming to him in the end.
In the meantime, I might kill him off in one of my books. Or not. I guess you will have to buy my next novel to find out…

If you or a loved one has a drinking problem, please get help. Here are a few organizations that can help you on the path to wellness.

I am the coordinator for the Local Authors Booth at the 67th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, Wednesday, November 9th – Sunday, November 13th, 2016. We still have author slots available.

The show will be held at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion, 1202 East 38th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46205.

This venue has been very successful over the years for local authors to sell their books.

You may sign up for as many time slots as you wish. The prices are: $75 per author, per time slot. The fee includes a linen-covered 5 ft table, one chair, storage space, the website feature, an author’s badge, an exhibitor helper’s badge, a parking pass, and two tickets for friends/family. The badges and parking pass are good for free entry for the entire five days of the show. If you need an extra chair, there is a one-time $10 charge.

If you are interested in participating in this event, email me at purewalpublishing@gmail.com, and I will send you the application form.

Although I will accommodate as many authors as possible, there is limited space.

I look forward to working with you! If you have any questions, please contact me.

This is a poem that I wrote for the Noble Writers’ Group. Each month there is an assignment. This assignment required us to write about a man and a woman meeting for the first time. We also had to use the words airplane, tractor, ocean, city and coast. And for some reason, I wrote it from the man’s point of view. Enjoy!

The Midwest Blues

While I was riding along on Bessie, my old trusty tractor,
I came across a beauty of a woman. I had to swerve, so I didn’t smack her.
She gasped, “Oh my!” And I pulled over to the side.
She smiled and kindly asked if I could give her a ride.
“Sure ‘nuff. Where to my fine, fair lass?”
“To the closest city where I can order a tall, cool sassafras.”
“I know just the place. It’s up yonder, beyond the hill.”
“Get me there quickly, and I promise you a memorable thrill.”
I threw Bessie into gear and wished she would sprout wings.
Along the way, the temptress whispered in my ear unrepeatable things.
I delivered her as promised to the Land of Good and Plenty Grill and Bar.
After quenching her thirst, she stormed the stage and commandeered a guitar.
She grabbed the microphone and then she did boast
About how big of a music star she was on the West Coast.
“I opened for Jefferson Airplane and was a backup singer for Billy Ocean.
And here I’m stuck in the Midwest amid the cornfields and Amish in Goshen.”
Then she started to sing and her voice was the sweetest I’d ever heard.
And when she strummed the last chord, no one spoke a word.
However, the applause was thunderous and filled her with delight.
She approached me and said, “I promised you an unforgettable night.”
We disappeared and true to her word, for the next hour she rang my bell.
The devil’s in the details. However, a true gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.