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New Braunfels Herald Zeitung (Newspaper) - March 17, 1987, New Braunfels, Texas
Fagot Horokl-Zeitung New Braunfels, TexasDear Abby_
Tuesday, March 17,1987Automobiles and Alcohol Don’t Mix Under Any Circumstances
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for your column about drunk drivers, and especially for saying that friends don’t let friends drive drunk.
I would like to mention an aspect of drunkenness that is rarely men tioned but is equally as horrifying as being a victim of a drunk driver
I killed a man. One dark, rainy night I was driving alone in a busy neighborhood shopping center. I wasn’t going fast, and I didn’t even know I had hit him until I heard this terrible thud! It seems that this man had walked out from between two parked cars, and straight into my path. He was killed instantly. When I realized what I had done, I nearly went into shock
Fortunately, there were several witnesses who were kind enough to wait until the police arrived. Six of them volunteered to testify on my behalf.
The dead man reeked of alcohol, and it was later confirmed that the alcohol level in his blood was even higher than .16. The poor man was in his 50s, and was known as the neighborhood drunk.
I was absolved of any guilt, but it left me an emotional wreck. I had to see a psychiatrist for over a year before I could get over the night mares of that terrible experience.
Please print this, Abby, as an example of how an innocent person can become a victim of a drunk pedestrian.
LOS ANGELES VICTIM
DEAR VICTIM: Thanks for giving us the flip side of that
coin. Perhaps we should coin a new motto: “Friends don’t let friends walk drunk.”
DEAR ABBY: A Houston Post reader wrote: “I just saw a 20-minute film at church that I think should be required viewing for everyone between the ages of 11 and 65. It is titled. ‘Sex, Drugs and AIDS.”’
You said you had seen the film and thought everyone between the ages of IO and 65 should see it. Why only up to 65? My husband is 66 and I am in my early 40s, and we are not aware that sex stops at 65.
Perhaps those over 65 should also be encouraged to see the film.
ANONYMOUS IN CHICAGO
DEAR ANONYMOUS: I did not mean to imply that sex stops at age BS. But people over 65 are less likely to be in a group that practices high-risk behavior. It’s a fact that there are fewer IV’ drug abusers who are 65 or older, and people in that age group are less likely to change partners promiscuously. Also, most have been in mutually monogamous relationships for more than IO years.
The film “Sex, Drugs and AIDS” is highly educational, and I recommend it for people of all ages.
DEAR ABBY I am a very attrac tm* IT year old girl I arn also a romantic person, but my relation ships never last any more than two weeks — maybe three I don't know
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what's wrong. I ant a very outgoing person, but I ve never had one relationship that lasted I’m still a virgin. Maybe that’s my problem. Is it true that nowadays you have to have sex in order to make a relationship last?
I started seeing a guy a couple of weeks ago, but he is very pushy. He has too many hands and I get worn out trying to protect myself. He told me In* probably wouldn’t be calling me again Gould my virginity be standing in the way of my popularity?
I would like to have a good relationship with a guy. hut I’m not ready to include sex. Am I weird or what ?
HURTING IN HARTFORD
DEAR HURTING: You are not weird and you are no dope. All relationships do not include sex — many long-standing relationships are based on friendship and mutual interest, lf you are being made to feel that the price of going out is “putting out” — you are being blackmailed. Stick with your principles.
DEAR ABBY: ‘‘Mortified in Min neapolis” complained because her otherwise masculine looking bus band insists on drinking through a straw in public Thanks for saying that drinking through a straw has nothing to do with a man’s masculinity.
My macho man always carries a straw in his pocket He* has a beautiful walrus moustache, and that straw is the perfect solution for keeping his moustache nice and clean
CONTENT IN COLUMBUS
DEAR ABBY When you say ‘‘Friends don’t let friends drive drunk you arc-, among other things, presupposing one adults responsibility for the actions of another < tin* cannot control another's drinking — nor another's behavior under the influence
We can try to prevent drunks from driving, md we can report them if they do hut to sav tinct unless wr prevent their driving. w* do not deserve to he called that person’s fra ud is thoroughly unjust
Those of us who have friends, spouses or parents w ho drink and drive do not need Dear \hhv to tell us it s our fault We- tak* enough unfair blame* from the alcoholics wi* toy**, and whose recovery, via abstention and a 1*2 step pr gram w» pray for.
BE FN I HERT IN N ASHVILLE
DEAR BEEN THERE: You may not need Dear Abby to tell you it's your fault if the alcoholic you love drives drunk and kills someone, hut if you could have prevented him from driving and didn’t, it is partially your fault. To “report” a drunk drive r is not enough — it takes a drunk less than three seconds to kill someone. Your report could he a few seconds too late*.
DEAK ABBY My hush.end and I were separated fur several months during which time he admitted tFi.it
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he had played the field and had several affairs
We’ve decided to give our mar riage one more try. I’ve told him that I will not go to bed with him unless he has a test for AIDS.
He refuses, saying I am unreasonable. What do vou think?
CONCERNED
DEAR CONCERNED: I think you are wise, and he is foolish. He should have the test not only for your peace of mind, but for his.
DEAR ABBY: Two years ago last month I wrote you asking for the address of a famous female enter tamer My husband was killed two days after we had attended her concert, and I wanted to thank her for adding to my precious collection of happy memories. I never heard from the entertainer, hut I still cherish the letter I received from you.
You did not disregard my pain with cliches; instead you comforted me with simple, loving words, and ended with. “He must hay** been a wonderful man " Abby. I needed to hear that' Thank you
It’s clear from Webster s Dictio nary definition that Webster wa-never a widow Th* definition should be “A frightened woman hanging onto threads of sanity on** who is totally alone, no matter how many people surround her "
I wish I could go to **y* rv widow and say You ar*- not crazy, and believe it or not, you will survive this overwhelming pain
It took rn*- two years to under stand the words of a young w idow who came lo console in* She said. "You wonder when tin pain will go away Well, it never goes away completely , hut I promts* it lie* * me** more hearable as tim* goes on
My dear widow friends B* forgtv mg and understanding with others and always remember that w* t*.* were on* * oblivious ti ti s kind of pain Counseling i- v*rv helpful hut the bott rn line is self self searching self underst.*: g it I
most important self i I * g d to yourself and you T ' * - od t-others
TERRY
DK VR I I RRY Y *»ur message
to widows IS Well worth the space. Thank von for wanting to help others as you have be* n helped Now a word from a recent w idow .
DEAR ABBY May I el,.!** rat* ..ii your comment to Y«.» r Sty wh- wanted to know at.out -ending a sympathy < «rd thre* in** '! titer a death I rn glad you said Yet Abby t‘* <*rds received later *** appre* lated as mu* ti as til* se received in th*- first deluge of mail Some! na - rn r«
1 Send a ar*! or * persona! rn t*
I hay* read and re read lh> **tr iv I* s many times This is an important part of til* grieving pro * - t* know that ethers * ared
2 Don’t forget us ut th* holiday season I wa- sadly amazed th* number of greeting cards I dido t receive from friends I had always heard from VV* widow - and widow ers need to get through th* holiday time and it’s very important to hear from l«»ycd ones
I I have just passed til* first year mileston* of my dear husband s death I received many * alls and personal notes to lei in* know they remembered and missed him too
In closing it there s doubt in your mind. w rite or get in touch l h* fact that you tar* will tar outweigh th* moment of sadness that is there anyway Sign mc
A KECK YI WIIK AV
Pet Corner
DEAR ABBY’: I am a single parent of a lovely 15-month-old daughter. Her father (1 11 call him Brad) and his family do not acknowledge her socially, hut Brad is paying child support Brad plans to marry in three weeks, and says he does not intend to tell his fiancee that he has a daughter to support I feel that his fiancee has a right to know before she marries him Would it he wrong for rn** to tell her? I am fairly certain that nobody in Brad's family will lf I were in her shoes, I would consider it a favor to he told
SUZI E S MOTHER
DEAR MOTHER: The hride-to-be has a right to know-. Tell Brad that if he doesn’t tell her. you w ill. Then do it, if you have to. But I’m betting you won’t have to.
DEAR ABBY Name a plate where .iii anonymous phone call results in th** dispatch of police officers to detain and harass cill /.ens in th* absence of probable cause, a sworn complaint or an arrest warrant Chil* * Iii* Soviet Cnion’’ Nope Marion Va' "Concerned Teen Ager and the other well meaning hut overzealous founders of RA I D Report All Intoxicated Drivers* in Marion Va hay** given us a good example *.} what happens when people belay* their noble ends ar* justified by any means
Abby everyone wants t* r* din < drunk ilriv mg hut it shouldn't he it the ex flense of our hard w. ai co lists tutional rights Fin Min- th* people who bv«• under a dictatorship w ■ ald gladly trad*- our drunk drsv ng problems for th* hardships they hay*• to endure
C< tNCERNK D Bl I ^ \NK
DK VR ( ONG ER NT I) Since w hen is it “harassment” f*»r a police officer t*. check out a report that there's a drunk driver in the area ’ lf th** driver is not drunk, the inconvenient * of being stopped is petty compared to th*- tragedy thai could to* caused tty a person driving while under the influence You mention constitutional rights VV fiat about th** “constitutional rights” of mn*** eat people to h* protected against drunk liny i*rx'.‘
In addition to Marion, Na , according to Brad Hartford, th** town of Glenvil, Neb., tias a program called RT I >1)1 'Report Tverv Drunk Driver immediately- Hooray for Nebraska’
DF \K ABBY I w- rk .ani, and du« lo the i • t I arn not permit!* ifts from th* employ***
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Crossword
About sharp cat claws
By COMAL COUNTY VETERINARY MEDICAL ASSOCIATION
A cat s claws can get quite sharp and can cause damage to furniture, curtains and clothing as well as skin Outside cats generally wear down the ragged edges of their claws on trees, posts and other structures of this type Inside cats, on the other hand, will need a scratching post to keep their claws worn Otherwise, your drapes, furniture and doors are going to be at risk Some cats tend to play a little rough with other cats and with pep pie, possibly causing scratches which can be very painful These problems can be lessened by trimming your cat’s claws on at least a monthly basis
An effective alternative is to have the claws on the front feet surgically removed Both indoor and outdoor cats adapt well to this, even retaining the ability to climb and hunt As it also saves the household furnishings. this procedure has kept many an indoor cat from becoming a permanent “outsider!'’
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am hired to guard. However, one woman — FII call her dane — gave me a Christmas gift even though I had told her emphatically that I was not permitted to accept gifts Sh** was very persistent, saying other guards had accepted her gifts and she would h** very hurt if I didnt boca us** sh** had spent so much time and effort selecting it I finally agreed to accept it on the condition that I could do anything I wanted with it keep it. trash it. give it away — as long as I didn t give it back to her
Well. I accepted .lane s gift and without unwrapping it, I gave it to another employee (Dam and told him it was from dane Of course I tan thanked dan** for the gift. then dane became angry and told me off Now dan* refuses to forgive me Was dane wrong < >r was I '
XLI.FVD AV N BA GI ARD
DEAR (.I ARD: .lane was wrong to hay** forced a gift on you knowing you were not permitted to accept gifts. Y’ou wen* wrong to accept it. and w tong again for giving it to Dan saving it was a gift from .Jane. lf you lost .Jane's friendship, you haven't lost much. And in the future, sin k to the rules or it could cost you your job.
DEAR \BBY This is t< thank you !-*r an article you wrote at***ut a v*-ar ax,’- in prats* •! th* National Stuttering Br.--.it I wr t* I*, th*
address y. u mentioned and I was -cut information and a local num Ur t tall '•Sn** then I hay* attended several meetings
I had t>*-« n a stutterer all my life and this group not only helped me to understand why I stuttered hut how to over*time it If arn other butterers hay* **. * inquired a!- ut th* N'sj* I * * ig, {J,err. : I- -
Blea s. print til* addr* -- again for thus* who may hay* m.~sed it til*
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