Would you send your kids to Camp Grandma?

In our book for rookie moms, cleverly titled The Rookie Mom’s Handbook, we wrote about launching “Camp Grandma”. Here’s what it says:

In the long run, Grandma, baby and Mom and Dad will all look forward to this annual tradition. Since you’re still a rookie, however, do this to the degree you feel comfortable.

How it works: You and your partner plan an overnight trip. It might just be to a hotel in a nearby city. Your baby’s grandparents come stay at your place, saving you the trouble of packing up your baby’s things. Train them on usage of the car seat and the coffeemaker and LET GO.

Add a night to Camp Grandma each year so that you take a two-night trip next year, and by the time your child is fourteen, dear Grandma will get a two-week fill of adolescent merriment.

Now, Heather and I realize that all grandparents are not equally equipped to manage 24 or more straight hours of childcare; their ages, health, and disposition vary. (Same goes for the kids, of course. Some toddlers don’t sleep through the night, some breastfeed, and some are triplets!)

With six healthy grandparents for my children (hooray for happily remarried parents!), my husband and I have been on many overnight trips without our kids. And enjoyed them!

And indeed, our kids and their caregivers had a grand time as well.

During that rookie year of parenting, however, with my firstborn son attached to my boob, I thought I’d never want to leave his side. Now? I’m grateful for the opportunity. In fact, I’m mentally planning a kid-free week in Europe for next summer that will rely entirely on available beds at Camp Grandma.

Where are you on the spectrum? Happy to drop them off and be on your way? Or worried that Grandpa will be unable to endure a tantrum?

Unfortunately, Whitney’s six parents are not available for loan. For those who don’t have the free babysitting option of nearby living grandparents, Heather has assembled 6 date nights that incorporate the kids.

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We don’t have the option of “Camp Grandma” but we are soon going to take advantage of “Camp Auntie”. My SIL has a cattle farm out in Kansas, where my 3 year old nephew and 8 year old niece live with her. Next summer, the plan is to have my nephew and niece come to the burbs for a week early in the summer, then ship my two sons (3 and 1) out there for a week later in the summer. This way, the kids get their cousins for two weeks and the rents get a week off. Whew. Because my SIL has kids the same age as my kids, I’m not worried about her not being able to handle them.

Sara

I can’t imagine the parents who NEVER leave their kids. I hear of parents who say they’ve never let their kid spend the night at someone else’s house, or with grandma, and I don’t think it is healthy.
We’re blessed to have my MIL who watches our daughter while we work, and she has been known to call us sometimes and say, hey, G wants to stay with me tonight, you guys go out to eat… or whatever. Other times we have planned trips and she stays with Grandma then. The longest we’ve been gone is 3 nights, and that’s about as much as we can do right now. When my daughter was 5 weeks old she stayed with Grandma for 2 nights while hubby and I went skiing (it was a trip we’d had planned since before I got pregnant).
Even if Grandma wasn’t available, we have several close friends with kids who we could trade-off sleepovers with if needed. But, usually when we travel (which is quite often), we just take the kiddo with us. She’s going on her first ski trip this winter!

Erin

I have taken long weekends before my youngest was born but since then I’ve had a night here and there, I’ve always been happy to go and get my me time. I know they’re taken care of and I deserve it. Frankly I do not understand how some parents could not ever leave their kids’ sides or feel guilty while away. As long as you are doing your part, you deserve it!

I would fee comfortable leaving my kids with either set of grandparents and have! My son is still BF’ing and sometimes at night, but once weaned I’ll for saying, “I love you! See you later.”

Imollee

My child is 18mths. Am a single mum, have been to movies etc but have not left her over night yet. Just have not needed too. Will soon though as I do believe it’s in her best interest and the grandparents are more than capable of looking after her

Sarah

We don’t live close to any family, but if we did, we’d definitely do this. My in-laws do it occassionally for my SIL and BIL and we are definitely envious. My MIL did fly in once so we could take a long anniversary weekend away when the kids were 1 and 4. It was really nice. And one time when our first was a mostly sleeping through the night older baby, my parents came to visit during our anniversay weekend and we all stayed the night at a hotel, but my parents took our son in their room for the night.

Hope

I have never left my daughter overnight. I refuse to leave her with my husbands parents because I know they couldn’t handle it. My husband does not agree, so therefore we have never left her with any grandparents. I know my mom would be great here with her, but it’s just not an option. One day, when she’s older and can better take care of herself, I’ll take advantage of “Camp Grandma.”

Julie W

I am jealous!!! I have let my parents know on several occasions that I am ready for them to keep our almost 3 year old overnight and so far, they haven’t done it. I’m not sure what is stopping them. As for the in-laws, that is a different story. They aren’t very involved and care more about their dog than they do their only grandchild so their visits are once every 3-4 months and only for 4 hours at a time. Not much help there – and this doesn’t leave me feeling very comfortable with their relationship with my daughter. Don’t think they want to know her, much less have her stay with them. I KNOW they wouldn’t stay at our house since they can’t leave the dog with a neighbor or in a kennel.

Gramma (MIL) has been a godsend. She watches our 2.5 year old 3 days a week while we work condensed weeks. And we’ve used Gramma and Grampa twice now for kid free vacations. The first time was a ski trip my family had planned and I cried on the plane ride. The 2nd time was a getaway for our 5th anniversary and we both missed her too much. We decided no more long vacations (5 days) without her and the future 2nd kiddo. But our daughter and gramma and grampa do just fine without us. They have a blast and the grandparents cry a little when she leaves.

Bethany

My husband is the youngest in his family, and the last to have kids so we are following the example set by his brother and sending our kids to Cali for a week or two with their grandparents when they get older. Same thing with my parents in Wisconsin, I plan for my kids to know their grandparents way better than I did.

Overnight stay? No way my 2 kids spent an entire summer with gramma. Gramma lives in Alaska and what a wonderful experience for them to have. How many adults can even say they’ve been to Alaska?! Downside was she doesnt live in Anchorage or any other “big” city more like a northern exposure type town. So they did have periods of boredom. Now my youngest will be 6 this summer and it is his turn to spend some time with Gramma and Grampa. I think it is a good bonding experience since we dont see gramma and grampa nearly as much as the other pair.

Jackie

I would love to let my 3 year old stay at “Camp Grandma” more… the only problem is that he is absolutley ruined when he gets home! MIL is not the best at following schedules and enforcing rules.

chris

Never in a million years.
I am one of the many moms that have MONSTER in laws. I would rather pay someone I trust.

bashysarah

I love camp grandma!!! This summer, my parents went on a three month road trip (drove from MO to Alaska!) so we were severely cut back on camp grandma time. I think within a month of returning they had taken both my sister’s kids and my kids (all ranging in age from <1 to 5) for a couple nights to help with the 'backlog' of necessary grandma/grandpa time. God Bless camp grandma!! I can't wait until my kids are old enough to spend a week or two in the summer with my in-laws, who have some land in the mountains. Ahhhh…I'm already dreaming of long 'camp grandma' times!

I love Camp Grandma too!! We have been very blessed to have my mother-in-law come and stay the night for one night and up to a whole weekend so my husband and I can have our time. I am now on baby number 3 (all under the age of 5) so I am worried that it will get to be too much to handle but we have been doing Camp Grandma since my first was 9 months old. I am looking forward to when they get older and they can request time with Grandma (since she can’t say no to them) and stay for days at a time. 🙂

SparkingBat

My girls have spent 2 nights with my parents at our house and 3 1-night sleepovers with my sister and her husband – and we ALL love it!! We all live within about 20 minutes of each other, so week-long visits aren’t really necessary (yet ;)), but my girls are also only 2 and 4. My in-laws live on a farm about an hour from us and, once the girls are a little older, we’ll be utilizing ‘Camp Grandma’. I just want to wait till the kids are a little more self-sufficient.

@ohthatmomma

Absolutely not taking my children to their grandparents house. I believe this post should note that this should only happen if the grandparents are in total alignment with your discipline beliefs and are pretty much…not crazy. My children willnot go anywhere where controlling stares are thrown like stones, where spankings are administered, or where time-outs are a normal part of the everyday routine! No thank you! My children go where I go.

April

We are full participants in Camp Grandma. This past summer, my boys spend 9 weeks away- 3 at one set of grandparents and 6 at another. They came back with most of their manners still in tack. Plus they get a night at another Grandma’s house each month that they are back with us. It’s wonderful!

I should also note that I agree w/ PP who said that discipline issues should also be taken into consideration. Two sets of my boys’ grandparents have been great and another set has taken some work to get everyone in agreement as to how discipline is handled. It’s better now that my boys are older (7 & 9) than when they were younger.

Our current 8-9 wks of summer time has been a gradual change over the years. It wasn’t like we just shipped them off one summer. This gradual change got them used to being around other adults, the rules at other houses (and the rules that are always the same), etc.

Dawn F

I wont be leaving my child with my inlaws until I am sure that they are sober. They are big drinkers and smokers and frankly I just dont feel comfortable leaving my baby with them. I would feel comfortable leaving my son with my parents, but not until he is older. He is 6 months old and still wakes twice a night to breastfeed. My husband has tired numerous time to get up and use pumped milk to feed our son but he refuses. So until he is sleeping through the night, (or taking a bottle) I wont be leaving him.

Well, my baby is four months old and won’t take a bottle, so no, we won’t be doing Camp Grandma any time soon. We’ve left her for two hours with the grandparents at our house, and I had a lump in my throat the whole time. I’m sure it will get easier as Lucy gets more independent and when she is eating solid food. Her grandparents can’t wait to get their hands on her!

This is a good reason to have children young. Since my mom had me at 42, and I had mine at 36, This didn’t leave much opportunity for grandma to set up camp. Not that my mom isn’t a fantastic grandma. I just never wanted to put her in a position to get more exhausted than she already is after raising 5 kids.

Jess

I (an only child) was shipped off to my grandparents’ house 500 miles away for the whole summer every year, starting from the age of 4 (mom fibbed about my under-5 status so I could take the flight as an unaccompanied minor – doubt you could get away with that now, haha!). Mom would join us for a few weeks near the end of the summer. It was awesome!! I had my summer friends in my grandparents’ neighborhood, and they had a fabulous house with a pool, huge garden, playhouse for me, nearby creek… Such great memories. This all lasted until I was 14 and our family moved down to California, too.

My parents now live in a woodsy cabin type house on several acres up in Washington state (and I still live in California). Our baby is a bit young to go there on his own yet, heh, but eventually you bet he is going to be packed off to their place all the time! How else are we going to attend Burning Man on our own? 😀

I am CONSTANTLY jealous that Whitney has Camp Grandma at her disposal. We left the boys for one night with my mom, one time. We left the boys for two nights with my in-laws a different time.

Our problem is with them living clear cross-country we have to play getting-to-know you games every visit. Nobody feels ready for an overnight: the kids, the grandparents, or (sadly) us. Wah.

I would, however, leave my kids with Whitney’s folks.

Stephanie

Both of parents adore our 14 mo old daughter. She is their only grandchild and they practically beg for us to leave her with them for a night. They spoiled me rotten and now Lauren has taken over. I can’t imaginr having parents that would want things any other way.

Camp grandma and grandpa is awesome! We’ve left DD with both sets. But she does come back a little ruined. My mom LOVES to co-sleep with my 3 year old DD and when DD comes home after an extended stay with my mom, she doesn’t sleep well. As sweet as it is that she loves her grandma, it’s hard for me. I always have to ask myself “Is 2 days away worth the week of bad behavior that follows?”

JennyOH

I envy people who have all the grandparents in an easy distance. My mother-in-law has been wonderful with our daughter, but for a variety of reasons we don’t feel comfortable with overnights (at least not now, while she’s still under two). My mother and stepdad, and my father, on the other hand, are wonderful with her and my husband and I would both happily hand Booboo off for a weekend with either of them….but they both live in New England while we’re in Georgia!

However, I remember summers at my grandparents – my brother and I would spend a week or so at the beach with Gram and Gramps, and Mom and Dad would join us for another week. So I definitely want to do the Camp Grandma thing at some point.

mic

Be’d there, do’d that.

jo jo

For all of the mother’s and father’s who thing it is just fine to send “their’ kids to to grandma’s house anytime is totally wrong.Have some consideration for these people.Use your head. You are one of those inconsiderate people who believe that “your” child is sooooo special.listen if your parents want the grandchildren they will ask otherwise they now have their own lives and really don’t want those kid’s over their house especially for a long period.Let them ask first before pushing “your”kids down their throats !!!