15 Signs You’re Going to Have a Great Partner Even If You Don’t Feel You Are

a) Drop not-so-subtle commitment hints to people they are only lukewarm about, b) Scowl at the overtly-cheesy nature of jewelry ads, or c) Something in between.

If the shorter days and colder nights are making you feel you’ll be alone forever, don’t despair! Whether or not you have prospects on the horizon, there are 15 signs that you are going to meet a kickass partner based on who you are, what you do, and what you don’t do. It takes a great partner to meet a great partner.

Do you have what it takes? Read on to find out:

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1. You are adult-ish.

Being an adult doesn’t mean you have all your shit together. Far from it! It means you’re responsible for your life. Whether that be paying your bills or saying you’re sorry, you can take personal responsibility. You are able to reflect on the past and take action toward your future. It also helps if you haven’t killed all of your houseplants (yet).

2. You know what you want in a partner.

Sounds obvious, but people who have a fuzzy sense of what they want only get a fuzzy version of that they want. You don’t just think, “I want a partner who is intelligent.” You know what you want that intelligence to look like. “I want a partner who reads about topics he cares about, is on top of current events, and has enough spatial awareness to help me build Ikea furniture.” You know that when you define it, you’ll find it.

3. You’re the right kind of selfish.

You love yourself and prioritize your self-care. It’s a myth that we need to place our partners over ourselves. If you run yourself into the ground taking care of everyone but yourself, you’re likely to get resentful, drained, and pissy. Self-love isn’t selfish, it’s the reason you’ll attract the right person in the first place. So go ahead, get a little selfish!

4. You know yourself.

You know what lights you up. You know what pisses you off. You know that soy milk makes you queasy. Why does this matter? People with self-awareness are more likely to identify the right partner, get their needs met, and find happiness in a relationship.

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5. You aren’t looking for anyone to fix you.

You have priorities, goals, and hobbies. Whether you enjoy cooking or collecting comic books, taking dance classes or taking over the world, you have a life that’s your own. You aren’t waiting around to get “saved.” You aren’t expecting someone to fix you because you know you’re not broken.

6. You aren’t trying to fix anyone.

It’s a fact: You have baggage and so will your partner. And while it would be great to change people’s annoying habits, you know how to accept people for who they are rather than who you want them to be. Your ability to compromise or cut ties will not only bring the right person in, it’ll help you to weed out the wrong one.

7. You are emotionally and physically available.

This one is huge. You’ve created space in your life for a partner. No, that doesn’t mean a drawer in your dresser. It means you are able and willing to give and receive love. You’re prepared to close one door before you open another. Bluntly put, you’re willing to stop sleeping around and commit. People who are good partners are the ones who actually want to be in a relationship.

8. You’re a good listener.

You can take in what your friend says without simultaneously contemplating your rebuttal. You can muster the self-control to not interrupt your mother mid-sentence. This goes well beyond being able to listen to others to include actually being present. Ultimately, if you can go to lunch with a friend without incessantly checking Facebook, you’re already better than most!

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9. You communicate productively.

There’s a big difference between communication and productive communication. You state how you feel without playing games or being passive-aggressive. You say what you want instead of what you don’t want. You know that saying “I’d like for us to visit my parents for the holidays,” yields better results than “I really don’t want to spend another Christmas with your crazy mother.”

10. You’re okay with being flawed (even if you don’t like it).

You get that as much as we might try, we can’t always act and look perfect all the time. You’re willing to open yourself up, be vulnerable, and occasionally look like an idiot. You accept that being yourself and receiving love yields a better outcome than being someone else and walking on eggshells.

11. You know the meaning of equality.

You know that fair isn’t always tit for tat. 50/50 in a relationship doesn’t mean you split the bill. It means that you’re willing to let things average out over the course of the relationship. You’re likely to find a great partner if you’re cool with saying “I’ll pay this time, you get the next.”

12. You like to win, but it won’t be WWIII if you don’t.

Whether it’s leaving the last slice or sucking it up and asking for directions, you don’t think you need to prove yourself at everything. Wow! You’re ahead of the game.

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13. Your conflict style doesn’t involve bloodshed.

When you fight with people, you fight to fix instead of fighting to win. You get that finding a resolution is better than a power play or opportunity for payback (despite how good you think it might feel).

14. You know how to apologize.

You might not like apologizing, but you can do it. You don’t make excuses or try to cajole others into taking responsibility for your issues. You own it sincerely without making excuses. You then learn from it. And the flipside is also true: you can forgive others when you receive an apology.

15. You cultivate gratitude.

You say thank you. You are appreciative of all that you have, all that you are, and all others do for you. Nobody wants a partner who takes them for granted.

So kick back and relax. You’re awesome and on your way to finding someone as equally awesome as you are. And being single for the holidays has plenty of perks. You won’t have to fake a smile when his mother gives you the ugliest sweater known to humanity. Again.

21 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

Many people believe that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously, in case you get your heart broken.

Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times.

However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long distance relationship.

Long distance relationships may be tough but they have their own surprises too. To keep your love alive and strong, here are 21 tips to make your long distance relationship work:

1. Avoid excessive communication.

It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.” Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

2. See it as an opportunity.

“If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,

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“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

3. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It’s better to be open with each other about all these things.

4. Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

5. Talk dirty with each other.

Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. Sexual desire is like a glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Not only is sex a biological need, it is an emotional one as well. Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions. Sexy puns work pretty well too.

6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.

If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her. Don’t be careless about this sort of matter because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels powerless or lacking in control.

Also, It could be easy for you to fall into the trap which you, unconsciously or not, set up for yourself by “hanging out” with your office eye-candy after work, or going out with a girl or guy from your past who has been flirting with you. You need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation. Don’t just listen to your heart. Listen to your mind too.

7. Do things together.

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Play an online game together. Watch a documentary on YouTube or Vimeo at the same time. Sing to each other on Skype while one of you plays the guitar. “Take a walk together” outside while video-calling each other. Go online-shopping together — and buy each other gifts (See #13). You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it.

8. Do similar things.

Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about. This is a good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart.

9. Make visits to each other.

Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship. After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfill all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. which are all common to other couples but so very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships. It will be like fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows and butterflies everywhere.

10. Have a goal in mind.

“What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves. The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down.

So make a plan with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

11. Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family.

You are alone but you are not lonely, unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that doesn’t involve your partner.

12. Stay honest with each other.

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late.

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13. Know each other’s schedules.

It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life e.g. college mid-terms and exams, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc. This is especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.

14. Keep track of each other’s social media activities.

Like each other’s photos on Facebook and Instagram. Tweet each other. Tag each other. Share things on each other’s walls. Show that you care. Be cool about stalking each other.

15. Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to.

There is power in a memento. Be it a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance. We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not. This is what we all do — we try to store memories in physical things, in the hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to something that will help us remember. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.

16. Get a good messaging app.

This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allow interactions beyond just words and emoticons.

Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g. Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL and etc.) at a low price. From time to time, the app also gives out free sticker sets for different promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.

17. Snail-mail your gift.

Mail each other postcards and hand-written love letters. Send each other gifts across the globe from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts, sexy underwear and such.

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18. Stay positive.

You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonely but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven. One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love — someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety.

19. Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

Because gossips and scandals are always the best things to go on and on about.

20. Video-call whenever possible.

Because looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

21. Give each other pet names.

Because it’s cute. It keeps the lovey-dovey going.

If you still aren’t sure how to make your long distance relationship work, try to answer these questions with your partner together: