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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

You "Finishing Last" Had Nothing to Do with You Being "Nice"

If you feel you are a "nice guy" and you are never securing the woman you are pursing try this statement on for size.

It has nothing to do with how NICE you are, but EVERYTHING to do with your lack of confidence, how you are low-key scared of her, and how unaggressive you are towards the current situation going on between you two.

I mean what human being in their own right conscious mind would want to be treated like shit over being treated well? She actually loves the nice qualities about you. She adores the fact that you’re respectful, thoughtful, intelligent, and have good conversation, but she can’t stand the fact that you are not contributing to the “chemistry” between you all.

Because you are lacking confidence, you are low-key scared of her, and you are unaggressive you are failing. Women love to feel purused and wanted. Men are hunters, they are supposed to “hunt for” and actively pursue a woman they are interested in. When I think back on men who didn’t quite make the cut, they didn’t make the cut for the following:

You are too scared to flirt: Yes, in your desire to show her what a gentleman you are, you forget to compliment her, say flirtatious things to her that make her blush and giggle and tell her friends. You are doing nothing to make her see you in a sexual light or as a man she wants to be in a relationship with. #FRIENDZONE

You are too scared to touch her: Once again, in your quest to not offend her, you fail to brush her hair out of her face while she is talking, slide a hand on her leg at the movie theater, put your arm around her while you are cuddled on the sofa, or pull her close to you when you are at a crowded bar. You are so scared of her that you take date after date, week after week, to decide to kiss her and to do so passionately. You are oblivious to hints she throws that she wants you to do all of these things. #FRIENDZONE

You are too scared to compliment her: You are well aware that she looks amazing in the fitted dress she is wearing on your dinner date. It hugs her curves just right, but instead of telling her, “Baby you in that dress is amazing,” you opt for a more “friendly” compliment such as “I like that color on you.” #FRIENDZONE

You are too scared to wear the pants: You want her to have fun so instead of actively taking roles in planning dates, you always respond with “what do you want to do? Where do you want to go? What day is best for you?” Just be a man. Already have a plan in your head of what you would like to do to spend time with her. Just call her to make sure this plan fits into her schedule. It’s okay to ask for suggestions, but you should already have the plan together in your head for the most part #FRIENDZONE

See the problem is, while you are doing all the above, failing to make her see you as a confident man, you are getting friend zoned. Reasons you are getting friend zoned:

You are confusing as fuck. Sure you call and text her everyday, but she isn’t sure what you want to happen with your situation with her.

It’s boring. Once again, all women want to feel pursued and desired. You aren’t doing that so she begins to see you as one of her home girls…with a pair of testicles.

While you are taking forever to grow hair on your chest, a more confident man has scooped in on the female you are interested in. She is now comparing you two thinking to herself about how nice you are but how much more feminine the new guy makes her feel simply by being more confident.