John Luciew | jluciew@pennlive.com

About Me:

Storyteller, with a business bent & focus on interesting people, places and happenings across PA. Favors face-to-face over Facebook; prefers conversations to interviews; harbors insatiable appetite for life; believes everyone has a story to tell.

Dear Readers,
In writing this very personal story of abuse, I expected a very robust reader discussion on the many details contained within. I just hope some you won't fall into the trap of seizing upon one sentence in a 5,000-word story and then leap to the conclusion, "well, there you go. She deserved it."

In fact, this story was purposefully written as a 'warts and all portrayal.' This victim laid her life bare, held nothing back and put it all out there -- hoping to help others in similar situations. I hope you'll recognize how brave -- and rare -- this is.

Does that make her story messy? Sure. But it also gives it power, the undeniable truth of a reality that she lived. And it paints a picture of pain that is hard to look at, but which illustrates all those trends of a abuse that domestic violence workers see everyday.

In working with the experts at the YWCA of Greater Harrisburg, the one thing I learned is that we must take victims as we find them. They are not perfect. It may take them years and multiple attempts to break away from abusive situations. Yes, they do think about things like the mortgage, what the neighbors might think and what the relatives will say. And they make mistakes, often with drugs or alcohol. But far from diminishing their status as victims, these things and so many others confirm it.

This is the great value of the bravery exhibited by the victim in this story. By telling her story unvarnished and putting it out there as imperfect as it is, perhaps others in similar situations will see that no matter what, no one is to blame for violent or emotional abuse but the abuser himself.