Note: Many of the riffs contain sexual references that may be off-putting to some. The original story does not contain any graphic sexual content.

Welcome, one and all, to my first submission to The Library! I’ve had some amount of experience with fanfic riffing before, on a forum known as Project AFTER. Unfortunately, well…some drama happened, and AFTER is largely dead. However, one particular riff (or “mock”, as the forum called it) still stands out to me, of a particularly execrable story by the infamous Dakari-King Mykan, known as Digiball Z: A New Era of Power.

Long story short, Davis is emo because Kari keeps putting out for TK instead of him, so he whines to the ghost of his dad and he and Veemon get superpowers. Then he blows up Myotismon, who’s also Cell for some reason, and they use a bunch of fake Dragon Balls that Gennai made to fix everything and give everybody else superpowers. Also, Gatomon and Veemon become a couple because…Kari and Davis become a couple, I guess? The point is, it sucked dick, and the original mock can be read here:

But it turns out DKM wrote a number of sequels to this opus, variously ripping off Dragonball Z and other sources. This one in particular seems to borrow a plot from Inuyasha for no immediately obvious reason. But enough talk! It’s time to riff:

Like anything to do with Jeff the Killer, the pasta under review today is really, profoundlynot scary but does contain substantialflamebait in its tactless approach to violent crime, bullying, mental illness, incest, familicide, suicide, and disfigurement. It is incendiary in pretty much every possible way with respect to a variety of issues that disproportionately affect teens and young adults, and should be read with caution in mind at all times.

Hello hello all you patrons! Heat up some spam and try to ignore the ants, because it’s that time again…

“Today we’ve got…

*Looks at the title*

*Looks at the Admiral*

*Looks at the title again*

Sakai…”

Hmm?

“What did the glub did you do?”

Well, it’s quite simple, really. This is the last episode of the Pastathon before we get back to doing nothing but Love of a Spartan for a while. So, since we started this whole adventure with myself somehow getting entangled in Sonic.exe as the main protagonist… you get to star in a shitty Jeff the Killer clone!!

“…”

Oh, and did I mention the entire thing is machine-translated from Spanish?

How’s it going, patrons? SC here. Due to my real life job heating up on account of the holiday season (I’m a retail cashier. God protect me), I wasn’t able to finish my riff this week. This might be a bit of a trend for a while, sorry in advance. To make up for it, though, I found some concept art of some Revengeance mooks for you guys to look at!

From left to right, we have Huge Mook, Shield Mook, and Standard Issue Mook.

Hello, dearest Patrons, and welcome to another chapter of Slender Man fic!

I can feel your excitement radiating through the Intertubez. That, or Bifocals has been mucking around with my laptop again.

In the last chapter there was a rehash of the first chapter, this time from Slendy’s perspective, and he’s been turned into an obsessive stalker of our fearful fearless protagonist, the living sorrow-sponge named Thaddeus. This would make for a very good Horror fic, but the author seems determined to try to paint Slendy’s unnatural attachment (literally in this case, since Slendy’s appendage-bit is still physically attached to Thaddeus’ ankle) as something positive and possibly romantic.

There are times when I truly worry about the youth of today.

Authors Note*

Oh, right; this is one of those authors who likes to put Author’s Notes at the beginning and end of each chapter.

Important note! Did you guys get the email that I updated this story? It’s coming up on my story!

…Wha?

I don’t understand. There is an option on ff.net to have an email alert sent to you when one of your favorited fics updates, but that’s completely up to the person who favorited the fic. The author doesn’t have any control over it. Is she asking if the people who signed up for the email alerts got them, or what?

So this chapter is going to have a lot of P.O.V. changes. xDD

:massive eye-twitch:

Ewww.

::picks up massive eye and throws it into the hall:

Goeth! What did I tell you about leaving your stuff in my room?

yeah sorry about that lol

I am unconvinced of your sincerity. If you don’t want to use POV Tags, then DON’T USE THEM.

For those of you who don’t know what P.O.V. means, it’s short for Point of view.

:sighs:

If you’re going to explain a term to your audience, then the place to do that would be in the chapter where there term firsts appears – in this case, that would be the previous chapter and not this one.

So yeah I hope it makes sense and that you like it.

Thus far, neither one of those things seems likely.

Enjoy! Thank you guys for the reviews btw! XD

There are currently eighty-two reviews for this fic; I glanced through them and, like always, most are positive. There was even one that pointed out that there’s “some rather delightful slenderman yaoi” located in the Mythology section under the Miscellaneous category.

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the finale of this stupid series. It’s been a long time coming, and now, here we are, ready to end this pile of fuck. And man, what a dumb pile of fuck it was. It almost makes me glad that this right here is deadfic, you know?

Anyway, let’s not waste any more time. We’ve got a shitty series to finish, and not a moment too soon!

*Crunchy stalks into the riffing chamber, angrily chirping to himself*

Bad influence indeed! I teach a toddler how to lob a few Darkwraiths with the Force, and suddenly I am the bad guy!

*Snorts* I was the bad guy long before that, thank-you-very-much!

No matter. Let us see what they have found for me this week. Aha, some kind of Star Wars fic that has been crossed with Frozen.

…

I suppose they are more upset about the boy’s tutelage than I thought they would be.

This story is a work in progress, but it’s a good one. Here’s the synopsis: A Jedi master, his padawan, and his friend are stuck on Arendelle. Will the queen accept them or refuse them? Will she become a supporter of the Republic, or fall into the deceptive hands of the Separatists? Read more to find out!

*The external lock on the riff chamber door slams into place with an audible thud*

Ert: Ugh. You know I really need to look before I jump sometimes. This is the second classic terribad story that I got myself into. Just like with My Little Unicorn, I wasn’t ready for the sheer level of bad and stupid.

Nora: Well, we gotta soldier on, one way or another.

Ert: Yeah, yeah. When we last left, Link and Jenna drank each other’s piss. So. Yeah. That happened. And the damn ritual didn’t end there. We’ve still got a ways to go. So lets get them over with.

Goeth: This is a very helpful source for a book I’m working on as a side project. “Religion by dummies.” It’s a lot like the “X for dummies” books but with one obvious difference. I’ve already written super soldiers, using the Abyss and traveling to another dimensions.

The Spiritual Bonding

The next ritual was the spiritual bonding. After the details were told to us, the head monk called his two servants and they came with two colored pendants and bowls with colored liquid in them.