Should you ever get back together with an old love?

If you are debating rekindling a love that didn't work the first time around, check out our how-to-know tick boxes to help you make a good decision.

If you are debating rekindling a love that didn't work the first time around, check out our how-to-know tick boxes to help you make a good decision.

When you’re faced with the dilemma of whether or not to reunite with an old flame, it can feel heartbreakingly confusing.

To help guide you to the right path, we’ve formulated a list of reasons you should or shouldn’t consider getting back with an ex.

While it may not be feel as black and white as a list, this should help your head and your heart come to an agreement and you can go from there… good luck!

Steer clear if…

You’re feeling nostalgic

Reigniting the spark of an old relationship is a very bad idea if you’re just wandering down memory lane. Recalling feelings from long ago will not solve any loneliness you feel now. You need to go forward, not back.

You’re viewing him through rose-tinted specs

You might have dated in those halcyon days before family, mortgage and career were a part of your life, so it’s easy to associate your ex with carefree fun and the passion of youth. But dating him won’t bring those days back. If you’re in contact on social media, keep it light and friendly and those nostalgic feelings will pass – especially once you spot his bald patch and paunch!

He’s not changed for the better

That rebellious nonchalance or ‘arty’ edginess that was so appealing in his youth doesn’t work as well on a grown man. A checkered love life, an inability to keep his finances in check, or a patchy relationship with honesty will soon drive you mad – just like they might have when you dated before.

Relight the fire if…

The obstacle to being together has been removed

Maybe he lived in a different city but is now closer to home. Or he no longer hangs out with that crowd who brought out the worst in him. Or he’s got over his workaholic tendencies and is prepared to devote more time to love. If the reason you broke up has disappeared, why not give it another try?

You’ve both grown up a bit

Maybe one of you wasn’t ready for a big commitment when you dated in the past. Or perhaps you just didn’t want the same things back then. People change though, and sometimes maturity brings the realisation that there’s still something there. What is the attraction based on now, and will acting on it truly make you happy?

He makes you feel good about yourself

When someone who knows you deep down, warts and all, has genuinely got your back, it can really bring out the best in you.

Get to know each other again and take it slowly. Treat each meeting as a date night – wear something you feel good in, and boost your confidence by taking extra care over your make-up and ensuring your hair looks it best by applying a good conditioner, such as Pantene.

But at the end of the day (or, rather, date), if he makes you feel your most beautiful, he’s a keeper.

Have you ever got back together with an ex? How did it work out for you? Let us know in the comments section below.

Worked for us

We were together in our teens, he then had three children, but did not marry. I got married but did not have children. After 8 years apart, and both separated from our partners, we got back together and married. We now have two children together and have been married 21 years. He is my soulmate, and we just wish we had never separated in our teens, but everything happens for a reason and those experiences made us into the people we are today, but so glad we chose to try again!