Bliss Explosion

I love fall so much. I live for fall. Autumn is my season, through and through. I love the smell of the gentle rot. I thrill to the chill that creeps up my neck. Wearing scarves brings me daily joy. Seeing the bones of a garden is as interesting as seeing it in full bloom. Traipsing through the natural mulch of leaves upon leaves upon generations of leaves is poetic and thought-provoking.

The caw of the crows gets sharper as the leaves get sparser, calling “Now, now, now, get outside now before winter comes.”

The moist air is welcome, the gray skies, comforting. It’s a slow drop to the knees, a battening down, a gentle sigh that the work is done and it’s time to pull up the covers of winter.

I can see every single, subtle decline out my windows. And it’s gorgeous. And I want to weep every day. I am making up for living 22 years at 100mph, I can safely say that.

I don’t want to turn back time. I just want to pay attention to every little bit of it.

About stacy

I am a writer, author, mother, former magazine editor (last at Redbook), optimist, and, above all, a searcher. I'm still searching for whom I'm really meant to be, after a series of very jarring losses: a divorce and house disaster that led to a book (Falling Apart In One Piece); a week after the book came out, my parents suddenly fell gravely ill, I resigned from my job (and, apparently, my career), my son went into crisis, my parents then rapidly died four weeks apart, and my boyfriend (who had moved in with me and my son just weeks before the book came out) began the painful journey of realizing we couldn't make our relationship work (that story unfolded on this blog). Since then I've been trying to figure out what's next. Or, in other words, how to fill in the blanks.

3 Responses to Bliss Explosion

Stacey, this post almost made me cry with its beauty. I rarely meet anyone who feels about autumn as I do – most seem to be spring and summer people! – but you expressed so much of how I feel, and so eloquently. Thank you.

Although I’m the opposite (summer and heat lover) I understand this entirely because it describes my love of and need for warmth and sun and flowers and blooming things and greenness and lushness. While I like the LOOK of fall (from indoors under a blanket) I don’t like the feel of it, though, OK, admittedly, at the BEGINNING of fall when things first start to change color and texture and there’s a gentle breeze, that I like because I marvel at nature. And I do love a soft scarf. So I get it, I do. I enjoy parts of this season but if I’m fully honest I’m an 85 degree, breezeless, low humidity girl through and through.