Dave And Killer And The Catnip

I often find myself wondering what my cats are up to when I’m out and about. Do they talk about meaningful things or do they just sleep all day? This (semi) regular post series attempts to shed some light on what goes down when no one is around. I expect there will be more of these as time goes on.

Today we tackle a very timely subject matter: Catnip.

INT. JON’S APARTMENT – DAY

DAVE AND KILLER ARE SPRAWLED ABOUT THE FLOOR. Flecks of catnip scatter the floor all around and congregate in clumps on each cat. Dave has a telling amount of catnip gathered on his face and whiskers. Killer’s eyes are half open.

DAVE

Hey.

No response.

DAVE

Hey.

Killer blinks. Still no response.

DAVE

Hey. Heeey. Hey....

Dave rolls onto his back and curls his paws in. He sticks his tongue out for a moment and then retracts it.

DAVE

Hey....hey. H-hey.

A TITLE CARD OVER BLACK: 10 MINUTES LATER.

DAVE

HEY! HEY! Whoa, wait. Hey sounds like hay.

The only response from Killer is the twitch along his back.

DAVE

Hay. Get it? Hay.

Killer blinks again.

DAVE

Hay. For Ho--

Killer suddenly hops up from his collapsed state. He makes a “mrr” sound, arches his back, and scuttles over to the door. He makes the “mrr” sound again and crab-walks across the room, back still arched.

He reaches the wall and collapses next to it, sprawling like he did at the start.

Dave shudders.

DAVE

I think I ate a pen.

What a trip.

FADE OUT:

Dave And Killer is formatted using SCRIPPETS which utilizes FOUNTAIN, a plain text markup language for screenwriting. In short, it’s pretty dope.