This blog is devoted to stuff that white people like

#74 Oscar Parties

One of the best places to gain a white person’s trust is at an Oscar party. An invitation to one these parties is basically your “foot in the door”.

Vocabulary is one of the first things to be aware of at an Oscar party. Never say “movie”, always say “film” and know which awards use the term “Best” and which ones use “Outstanding Achievement”. Saying “I hope Atonement wins Best Art Direction” will guarantee that you won’t be invited next year.

Attire is very important as well. Either dress in an fancy suit / gown or wear something that relates to one of the films nominated for Best Picture. So for the 2008 Oscar Party it might be best to put a pillow under your shirt and come as a pregnant teenager in tribute to Juno (by no means should anyone bring an actual pregnant teenager). You can impress white people even further by bringing in a food or drink item that relates to a film. Again using Juno as an example, if you were to come to the party with jugs of SunnyD, it would highlight your keen observation of detail when it comes to watching films. Then they will see that you watch films the same way that they do. Also be prepared to be involved in an Oscar Pool, but make sure you don’t win. If you do, just say that you were lucky.

However all of this preparation will mean nothing if one does not act during the most important part of the night: when the nominees are read for Best Foreign Film. At this point someone will get angry and state that some movie that no one has heard of, was snubbed. When this happens just nod and agree. Mention that it sounds interesting and that you will watch it tomorrow, even if you have already seen it and know that its boring.

Basically what separates Oscar Night from other party nights is that it allows white people to express themselves through their tastes in film. If they see that you are someone who agrees with a majority of their opinions, then they will be your friend and provide you with ample opportunities to sip wine and attend film festivals together

Again, ‘Stuff White People Like’ is stuff that only narcissistic White Women and Pussified American White Men like. Unfortunately, a rather large majority of Feminized America. This is what happens when every aspect of society caters to women. You get shallow, superficial, batshit insanity with no basis in reality. Another thing White Women like: Abortion. If that baby is going to impede upon “the lifestyle she’s become accustomed to” then KILL IT.

White American Women are the worst women in the world. This is confirmed by men from many countries. Sportfucking, sure (high STD rate though). Marriage to a typical shallow, superficial white bitch … no way. Why give her the first (starter marriage), second, third, or fourth divorce she desperately wants and expects? Nuts to that shit.

Both Oscar and SuperBowl Parties are a complete waste of time. Oscars allows participants a pretense of of cultural veneer [a couple of microns thick]. It’s just like General Foods International Coffee, Viennese Fantasy, whatever. And the SuperBowl allows the same demographic to paddle thru that spectacle in a glass-bottom boat.
Either way, I feel a big fart coming on…

This is one of the first ones that’s been way off. I think Oscar parties might be legendary, found only in TV news reports about the Oscars and, perhaps, magazines. Do they really exist? I don’t think they do, I think one Oscar party was held a few decades ago and (like fruitcake) that one has sufficed for years of anecdotal reportage. I live on the East Coast, though, and someone above mentioned it’s a California thing. I guess you live there? Rest assured 90% of the nation has never been to or known the whereabouts of an Oscar party. Even the white part of the nation.

…. unfortunately for him, even the most feminized, pussy-fried white-guy who calls his wife, “SHE that must be obeyed” has more balls than his simple-minded dognuts lickin’ piece-o-shit poor-excuse-for-a-waste-of-life ass will ever THINK of havin’.

I love this site but it would be more aptly titled Stuff urban yuppie white people like. White people also like nascar, hockey, and swimming but obviously theses entries wouldn’t fit the honkeys being describe on this blog.

White people should also not forget to have their favorite humanitarian cause at the Oscars to impress their white friends and make themselves more self-important than they already are. Here’s a tip: Darfur is soooo 2007, but Global Warming awareness I hear is “totally in” right now.

I don’t think you “get” this blog. My take on it is that the author is poking fun of well-off liberal urban white people. The arrogant ones who host wine parties and, yes, Oscar parties. The ones that drive fairly expensive (by my standards) trendy cars with a bumper sticker that says wither “Free Tibet” because it makes them look socially aware, or maybe one of those weird coexist stickers.

They say we need to help the inner-city poor more, but would never think of particapating in a Big Brothers/Sister program.

Wear a Che T-shirt with no clue who he was.
Go to the over-priced restaruants and then brag about it being their new favorite.
And on and on.
I’m surrounded by these weinies.

This is stuff is mainly about State side white folk but it applies to Europeans as well. For example, the music thing is soooo accurate it’s unreal, as is the wine thing.
Over in Europe, white people also like to have towns all to themselves, specially if they happen to be seats of higher education going back hundreds of years. Any non white people are either swept under the carpet or made to blend in with white people. Oh yes, and also they are made to put up with appalling political incorrectness.
So, please, something about the Ivy league next.

I understand that white people are an easy target, what with being the most beautiful of all the world’s races. But I wonder why someone would make this blog, inviting the obvious counterpoint: What Black People Like. This would include for instance crime, obesity, preprocessed foods, the indoors, underperformance in school, and crack cocaine. And as soon as I finish my latte and take a bike ride, I’ll sit down and write it.

oh my goodness…. this is so funny and true. coincidentally, i’ve been invited to an oscar party for tonite, and yes… we have to bring food dishes that somehow relate to the nominees… haha oh man, i was having such a hard time figuring out what to bring. the sunny D jugs are a great idea!! haha

#4 Alex Keaton, you couldn’t be more on the money without posting pictures. It’s the leftist feminist remodel of our society that has lowered our international standing, not our confused elected government.

Hilarious–and so true. And as for those of you who think Oscar parties are just a California thing, I have news for you. I used to be invited routinely to Oscar parties in Montana and would have to think of creative ways to get out of going without offending the hosts. The parties were kind of fun, in a masochistic way, but on the rare occasion when I would actually win a prize in the pool, it was pure luck because I rarely go to the movies and had no idea what most of the categories were all about. Oh well, guess that’s why my friends holding a party tonight didn’t invite me. Boo Hoo.

Why are you guys always so pissed about sites like these? and you always hit us with this zinger:

“What if we did a site about what black people like?”

or the classic “Why is it ok to joke about white people and not black people”

I’ll tell you the difference when a black person does humor about white people its 99% of the time light hearted shit thats not hurtful, or hateful, a majority of comedy/jokes that whites do is mean spirited shit that can get them punched in the mouth.

Perfect example watch any comedy show that has a black comedian joking about whites, you see them laughing (although nervously), and then you have Kramer from Sienfield screaming Nigger!!! NIGGER!! 18 times and everybody walking out.

But if done tastefully and in good spirit white people do GREAT comedy about race and differences in culture, Ive seen it performed in front of black audiences and they loved it.

This site is hilarious and those who are upset about it are probably the targets of this satire.

I mark Caucasion on various government forms, but I, as defined by this site, certainly am not “white”. This means that I am not an overeducated, underworked, yuppie liberal who feels guilty about having too much disposable income and being born white.

I hope I see these future subjects

Barnes & Noble—-the white people’s library where they can combine books on architecture, learning about other cultures, researching where they travel, gaining insight on their own writing, coffee and setting up their apple computers for all to see.

You know what white people, you need to stop using that whole “if this was about blacks, it would be racism” because you assume that blacks and whites are equal and therefore interchangeable. Stop playing the victim card and stop thinking that you understand what it’s like to be a minority in this country.

I’ve been to a couple of Oscar parties (all held by white people; I’m not), and they are pretty much as described by this post! By the way, my friends who’ve held Oscar parties (with the exception of one) are not arrogant; they are just single women in their late 20/30-somethings who are too old to be out “clubbing,” and like to have excuses to have people over to their house.

Yes, Oscar parties really do exist, all over the country, not just in California. However, I have found them to be most plentiful among the Gays. I dare you to find a Gay man not going to an Oscar party tonight.

Well, my white card may or may not have been revoked by now (for any variety of infractions over the past decade or so), but assuming that I’m still qualified to speak for my fellow pink/beige/ivory folks, let me simply say that most hate toward this site and most of the “what if people did something like this on black folks” sentiments come from the fact that, by and large, most American whites don’t like to be on the outside looking in. Privilege isn’t enough. They want to be in on the cool stuff and be in on the jokes. That is why someone like Quentin Tarantino (whose work I love but whose personality I hate) starts donning Kangol caps and using the work nigger whenever possible. They have to co-opt cultural tidbits, fashion, slang, music and the most thin-skinned among them even have to also claim persecution to complete their sense of wholeness.

Okay, I am a white guy and think this site is incredibly funny. I get it. As someone said above, it’s primarily the overeducated, underworked, too much money types that we are talking about. See the studying abroad thread for a textbook example.

I think it was totally uncool when that guy was all like “Let’s make fun of black people”. Everyone knows that making fun of blacks is one of those things you just don’t do. It may seem to be all in good fun to make fun of black people for having a lot of fried chicken and kool-aid, unless you’re white, in which case it’s not fun or funny at all, but racist.

I think it’s unfair to say that white people “don’t get it” or “can’t take a joke”. After all, white people invented humor, along with the wheel, Jesus Christ, the hairless vagina, hundreds of uses of peanuts (including peanut butter), and the dog.

I was invited to 2 Oscar parties this year – one invitation came from an Indian-American woman and the other came from a Black-Brazilian, so I don’t know how white either are gonna be. Maybe that’s why they invited me. Hmmmm. Or, maybe their invitation stems from Post #73 – Gentrification.

I knew there was a conservative undercurrent to this blog that bothered me in a way I couldn’t quite articulate: check the post on ‘Asian Girls’, specifically the phrase “should white guy / asian girl marry, they produce hybirds that are aestically pleasing, but are very annoying”. Yeah, way to go hip, ironic, “anti-racist” white guy blogger!!! You totally convinced me!!!

I think from a certain perspective, that a debate has arisen over a few satirical postings is very interesting. On one extreme, people are offended and wonder why they can’t make fun of black people. On the other extreme, people are so complacent with this type of humor that they don’t hesitate to identify the stereotype they’re poking fun at: “overeducated, underworked, too much money types” or “overeducated, underworked, yuppie liberal who feels guilty about having too much disposable income and being born white”. Evidently it’s okay to make fun of that type of person. So the general opinion, I guess, is that it’s okay to make fun of people with certain advantages, namely money. But that *is* a stereotype, and it has a few implications:

* too much education is bad
* white people don’t work very hard
* liberals are underworked, overeducated, or both
* people who engage in the activities talked about on this blog are financially rich but emotionally/spriitually shallow

And I wonder how many of these assertions people who think this is all indisputably good, clean humor would actually stand by.

Seriously people, when someone says “let’s start a blog about how black people love crime and fried chicken” it’s not funny or clever because it’s calling out something that is stereotypical and, moreover, intentionally hateful. People who can’t see that, get a brain.

This blog is hilarious precisely because it points out things that NO ONE HAS EVER DOCUMENTED BEFORE, but are spot-on (though I agree that Oscar parties are mostly a California thing) to a privileged subset of yuppie culture (90% of my asian friends are white by these descriptions). And, as far as I can tell, it’s in good-spirited fun.

The humor is in the originality and the honesty. The fact that the author calls it “stuff white people like” rather than “stuff privileged yuppies like” just makes it more ridiculous and more true, because, let’s face it, the minorities who happened to achieve yuppie status are pretty much trying to be more like white people. Myself included. I will never look at public radio the same again.

So whatever your fears about “let’s make fun of other races despite the fact that we marginalized and oppressed them for millenia” or “this only applies to some white people, not all,” just keep this in mind: Asians/blacks/latinos/Middle Easterns/etc. did NOT invent Starbucks. White people did. And last time I checked, upper-crust new money in Beijing were fighting to get their Y28 8-oz. lattes ($4…more than in the US).

And to Lewis, #62, as someone who is pretty overeducated yet can’t figure out what the hell to do with her life, just like dozens of her equally overeducated classmates, I can tell you this: too much education can certainly be BAD.

Slime, excellent points. I know or have come in contact with a fair number of immirgrants (or more commonly, children of immirgrants) from various nations who have become comfortable yuppies and exhibit the traits commented on here. They have their gentrafyed urban condo near the expensive restaurants and everything else talked about here.

Here’s one for you….Things white people

They like to talk about global warming and how we need to do something about it. Then the next day they drive their big car to the ariport to fly to a trendy vacation spot for the weekend.

And so far nobody has disputed any of these claims, except for someone who made the odd argument that George Washington invented peanut butter and was actually black (yeah, very plausible), and so by this reasoning a black man invented peanut butter.

But the main point is that white people invented humor, and so it strikes me as illogical to say that white people “don’t get it”. And moreover, regarding invention #4, the hairless vagina, the only comparable thing black people have invented is the mutilated vagina and the sewn-shut vagina. The defense rests.

“I know or have come in contact with a fair number of immirgrants (or more commonly, children of immirgrants) from various nations who have become comfortable yuppies and exhibit the traits commented on here.”

Yeah, but isn’t it too late to rename it stuffwhitepeopleandtheir buddieslike.com? Some have said it’s liberal Whites, I’d say Canadians, but whatever, it’s too late to change the name. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t worry about it just laugh with us darker folks.

Interesting. I have an overabundance of melanin and have been demeaned, dehumanized, discriminated against and driven into therapy because so many people who label themselves “white” decided this must be so. Then I read this blog, and the things I like are the same things “white people like.” I too am overeducated and guilt-ridden. And I listen to Dan Fogelberg (30+ years, baby!) and watch films and cinema, not movies. I must be white! So, if I like all the same things (except for hiphop, which I can’t stand — well, except for Mos Def and Young MC – bust a move!) why all the bad treatment for the past four decades???

Just a rhetorical question and something to ponder. In any case, stereotypes in general only cause people harm or offer a chuckle to those without hearts and compassion.

See you at the Oscar party (and I am attending one tonight, with an array of multi-hued guests)… can’t wait to see what films are honored (Daniel Day-Lewis… Daniel Day-Lewis). Where’s my glass of pinot… my pinky needs to stretch.

Marty, you are an idiot. White people did not INVENT the hairless vagina. Just like rock music, they stole it from black people. Back during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, a lot of slave owners noticed some of their more “just-off-the-boat” slaves chopping off their daughters’ clitorises, in some cases sewing up the whole shebang. They were so intrigued by this “authentic and foreign” practice that they started using razors on their own wives’ vaginae. But so as to imitate their slaves and yet avoid actually mutilating their wives (just as you might expect from overeducated, underworked yuppies), instead of chopping off the clitorises, they only shaved off the hairs. So in fact, white people did not invent the hairless vagina; they stole it from black people.

If you’re an well-off, white, urban liberal American, then yes, this site is goofing on you. You’ll learn to cope, I’m sure. Perhaps some pretentious & overpriced Starbucks coffee wiill help you forget that millions of Americans are cringing every time they’re exposed to your annoying & phony sub-culture. Why don’t you hop in your new VW and find out?

Marty, you are an idiot. White people did not invent the hairless vagina; they stole it from black people, just like rock & roll music. Back in the 18th and 19th centuries, slave owners noted a practice among their ahem “just-off-the-boat” slaves, whereby they would chop off their daughters’ clitorises, sometimes sewing them up afterward. They were so intrigued by this practice that, just as with sushi or tai-chi, they adapted it in order to seem “authentic” or “aware”. Except, because their wives were so pampered, being overeducated, overworked yuppies, they wouldn’t submit to having their hoo-ha’s all sliced up, and so as a compromise they would use a razor just to cut off the hair. So when you shave “down there”, you’re actually engaging in a traditional African tribal practice.

The Dude: I would hop into my new VW, only it was just stolen, by a couple of punk black kids, probably much like you. So why don’t you hop into your thug mobile, pull a stocking over your face, head down to the Church’s Chicken, and stop tempting my daughter with your toned body and 11-inch member.

This is great stuff… My hispanic college roommate just turned me on to this site. That must be an entry: befriending people of color.

Of course this isn’t actually about white people; just liberal, college-educated white people. 21st century or not, there are still plenty of white people who like stuff like rodeos, guns, and racially-motivated hate crimes. I suppose those folks just aren’t that funny.

Can we start a “Stuff that Black People Like” site? Handled correctly, that could be hilarious, too.

Whoa… I should have read all the posts first. Apparently “Stuff that Black People Like” is well-covered ground. I hope my suggestions are a little more nuanced and well-intentioned than “crack” and “crime.”

Wow, reading some of the comments I get the feeling that some people see those traits in themselves…errr…are offended. I think this blog is freakin’ hilarious and several times I’ve had to stop reading for fear of cardiac arrest.

Don’t forget white people, we’re still the ones in charge! 😉
I guess it’s better to tell racist jokes in the locker room at an all-white country club than to poke fun at some nuances that are OVERWHELMINGLY self-evident.

– thinking black people should just, “get into college and get a degree and get a job like everyone else”
-thinking that all black people are the same
-forgetting that that computers and airplanes were invented before blacks had the right to vote
-being uncomfortable around black people but yet knocking their little sister down to get Lebron’s autograph
-saying that “America is just not ready for a black president” but really saying, “I’M not ready for a black president”

A great trick to play on urban, liberal white people: 1) early one morning get some toilet paper, 2) take a dump on the urban, liberal, white person’s stoop, 3) wipe ass, 4) leave dirty toilet paper next to the log, 5) take the urban, liberal white person’s urban, liberal white newspaper (e.g., NY Times, LA Times), 6) hide somewhere with a camera and when the urban, liberal white person comes out to pick up whatever urban, white liberal paper they read everyday and instead see the dump in front of their door, take a photograph of the expression on their face.

I think anyone who tries to get all philo-babbled out about this blog need to surgically remove the stick from their ass. So what if it is only upscale white women who like Oscar parties? The whole point of the blog is it is a joke based on race stereo types and over generalizations. And it is fucking hilarious! Lighten up people! I love that he is making fun of what my mom and her friends do for kicks. I myself am having an Oscar party, but instead of Champaign & quiche, I am going for tequila shots and mini taco’s. To each his own…lets just laugh at the utter stupidity of the whole human race! ; D

I don’t think all black people are the same! For instance, I know that some black people really, really like Sprite, while others just kind of like it.

They also like:
-Hating Republicans
-Comedians that talk about the difference between white people and black people
-Really kick ass marching bands
-Getting the fuck away from white people occasionally
-Being cousins
-Michael Jackson, despite everything he’s done for the last 15 years
-Other black people with large vocabularies that aren’t afraid to use crazy-big words when talking to white people

We should do a site for every race! How about Latinos:

-Used minivans
-Living with several generations of the same family
-Talking shit about gringos in Spanish right in front of them
-Calling cards
-HUGE belt buckles
-Wiring money places
-Reminding folks that California used to be Mexico
-Not black people
-Futbol

Actually what this blog and most of it’s readers don’t get, and this is the hidden conservative underside to the whole project, is that upper-class whites – and actually, even lower-middle class and middle class and upper-middle class whites, are far more consistently Republicans than Democrats. Blue-collar and especially poor whites on the other hand, despite the mass media mythology (created by Limbaugh and co.), are solidly Democrat.

For the record, I live on the East Coast and have been to an Oscar party organized by white people just like the ones described in this post for the las ten years or so, other than this year. I’ve done the pool; I’ve made the film-related dishes…this shit is real!

This blog is hilarious. I’ve never heard of an Oscar party either (and I’m a white guy in San Francisco), but this was still really funny–I have met movie snobs like this, and of course they were white.

I’ve heard this blog has skyrocketed thanks to word of mouth, facebook, and the like: something like 3 million hits! Congratulations.

PS: Good point by Jughead (#100). Not that the Democratic Party is some bastion of anti-racism, but relatively speaking…

I agree. However, I think that you should NEVER say that you haven’t seen a certain film. This discredits you and no one will want to talk to you anymore. I also think it important to mention that ( if you are friends with the people who host and attend Oscar Parties) the people that attend spend WEEKS (my friends begin at Christmas) seeing every movie that was nominated and then they talk about each and every one of them. Irritating.http://www.mamamatter.wordpress.com

I love this site but it would be more aptly titled Stuff urban yuppie white people like. White people also like nascar, hockey, and swimming but obviously theses entries wouldn’t fit the honkeys being describe on this blog.

But if you do find yourself at a home with a televised Nascar, I think some of the same rules apply, such as arriving with the hat or jacket of your favorite driver, or at least knowing who is top 10 in the points standings. Asking why somebody can be so close to the top without actually winning many races is considered poor form.

If you are at a live one, conversation is not really possible because of the engine noise, so just enjoy.

Also, I stopped watching the Oscars at age 12 because they just started getting longer without any real increase in valuable content. There’s really no reason you can’t wrap that whole thing up in about 2 hours. Max.

Love how “Nathan Huffheinz” seems to get angrier and angrier for each post and word he writes lol

Next post should be about white people who can’t take jokes and are passive aggressive and only spew their hate towards black people through the internet which they never would do irl because they’re scared. Oh, and also how they love to dress in shorts and t-shirts as soon as they spot the sun even though it’s like – 10 outside. And what’s with the damn leashes they put on their children? lol

Marty (#67)…I thought you were trying to be funny earlier; now I suspect you’re just extremely ignorant.

I didn’t say George Washington invented penaut butter….I said George WAshington Carver did. Documented fact that he discovered a vast array of uses for peanuts. Do some research. And look at his photo. He’s black.

Blacks didn’t invent genital mutilation. Whites have done their fair share of it over the generations.

Guys, we need to remember that humor isn’t fair, and never has been. Fair isn’t funny, and that’s why this site would lose a great deal if it changed its name to Stuff-overeducated-underworked-white-liberal-yuppies-like.com, since much of the laughter derives from the image of all white people doing the exact same things in one giant homogeneous milky mass. Of course the humor is all in stereotypes, which are ipso facto unfair, but the observations are new and original enough not to be racially charged by association with hate speech or acts of violence, etc. (as would be the case should some bitter white supremacist start a site on What the Coloreds Like). So yeah, this blog is pretty much good, clean fun.

Another aspect of the humor, which I’m not sure anybody has remarked on, is the anthropological reversal. Something else white people have always liked is living with obscure native tribes in places like Vanuatu and then coming back and writing scholarly articles about how the poor besotted islanders believe John Frum will someday return bearing crates of Coca-Cola and HDTVs. So there is a kind of fairness in the switch: the bemused foreigner (presumably) commenting on our own quaint and curious customs, in a kind of reverse anthropology. The studiers become the studied, and are revealed to be at least as silly as everybody else. So what else is new? Our culture is decadent and shallow in many ways, and ripe for good satire. This site is pretty damn good.

Gosh what nasty comments some of these ill-bred commenters come up with! They really can’t take it, can they?
I’ll bet a cookie the blogger is Canadian. Canadians are better at laughing at themselves than Americans are. In general. They are so blindingly white!
And of course they are GREAT at laughing at us white U. Essers.

I think it’s now acceptable to use the word “movie” when referring to a “film.” However, it’s possibly more important to follow it up by saying something like, “I refer to [always say “refer to” rather than “call”] it as a ‘movie’ because it was so moving.” Finish the gesture with a clever look that says something like, “that was clever, wasn’t it?” Using words that might ordinarily be inappropriate with a clever quip about why it’s okay for YOU specifically to use it is a particularly white thing to do. The white people around you will laugh, charmed.

(This reply is informed almost entirely by my having watched the Oscars tonight, which happened almost entirely because I’m white.)

– white people decide this site is not really about them personally because they don’t identify with some or all of the things listed.
white people think this site is just about ‘stuck up yuppies’ and not about them.

– white people wonder why things poor white people like aren’t listed, even though ‘everyone knows’ poor white people are the whitest of all and are rsponsible for all white violence and other ills.

– white people feel they have the right to scapegoat other white people they don’t identify with, because it’s not racist so it’s ok

– it doesn’t occur to white people that whiteness might be a set of learned behaviors that is not actually an ethnicity but is something else entirely

I think this site is hilarious.
I can’t believe people actually say bad things about it.
Have we all forgotten our sense of humor.
And are people so concerned about this that they have to look up statistics.
Come on people get your heads out of your asses for a minute.
And f–ing laugh it up.

White culture, like every other kind of culture, should be celebrated as part of our multicultural nation. Kudos to the makers of this site for sharing it with us in such an informative and entertaining way. As an asian man in American working in a white dominant profession, I am learning so much that will help me get ahead in this life.

I am not angry at all! I really just think this site is great and that it is a good model for easing racial misunderstanding and tension: have a good laugh at ourselves and each other. A sense of humor has been the hallmark characteristic of any friend I’ve ever had, regardless of race, creed, color, etc.

My comments were meant in the teasing, good-natured spirit of the blog itself. If you look at the examples I give, I don’t think any of them are particularly mean-spirited. They are just dependent on stereo-types, like the site’s entries.

It’s funny how the nuances of communication are so easily misinterpreted over blog postings. We should all probably get the fuck out of our rooms, get out on the street and actually interact with each other. Then we could all poke fun at each other with far less misunderstanding.

i’m so white, i host oscar parties every saturday, oscars or not! alex keaton, you’re coming to the next one. plenty of Pussified American White Men and abortion loving White Women will be making the trip from Feminized America for sportfucking, successive marriages and divorces and, of course, abortions.

the bio-diesel bus leaves early (you’re coming to canada after all), but there’s plenty of fair trade coffee, expensive sandwiches and old school hip hop to keep you happy. or you can ride your bike if you prefer. it’s up to you.

When will you people get it through your idiot heads: George Washington was white, and he did not invent peanut butter. Sure, he probably had a few tarbabies with his slaves — who didn’t — but he himself was white. I even asked my father, who has read everything George Washington has ever wrote, whether he was a) black or b) the inventor of peanut butter, and my father assured me that neither claim is true.

Justus: what is the one minority that has always been shit on throughout human history? There are several GROUPS that have been shit on throughout history, including women, blacks, the Irish, and currently “overeducated, underworked, yuppy liberal whites”, who are undoubtedly the modern-day equivalent of Hitler’s Jews.

Marty (#152)…read my freaking posts AGAIN. George Washington CARVER. George was his first name. Washington was his middle name. Carver was his last name. How fucking clear do I have to make myself. I’ve said it twice. And Mr. Carver did, indeed, invent most of the main uses for peanuts.

nathan, you are a racist fag and are going to hell. the only thing you like black people for is the insertion of their 11-inch members up your butt (all black people have 11-inch penises, i read it in a book, and books contain FACTS people, ever opened one before?).

OK, in the interests of accuracy (I didn’t phrase myself as well as I could have in earlier posts)…Carver didn’t necessarily INVENT all the uses of peanuts he promoted…but he was in fact a big proponent of multiple uses of peanuts, he did invent quite a number of uses, and those he didn’t invent he can at least be credited for bringing greater attention to. I’m sure many white people came up with great peanut ideas too, before and after carver…but George Washington Carver is still main man for peanuts…and most of your other assertions about white inventions are stuff bullcrap, Marty.

Deacon, white people invented humor. Read the Greek plays. Read Aeschylus and Euripides. Stop assuming that someone might be ignorant of a basic part of the elementary school curriculum and isn’t just a clever white person fucking around with you.

Shouldn’t there be a posting on why white people smell funny? If you didn’t know, non-whites think white people smell funny. Like how y’all think Indians or blacks smell funny. Well, that’s how y’all smell to us.

And what’s up with white people trying so hard to be unique? Doesn’t anyone else find it bizarre that all the skinny white kids with the messenger bag are trying their hardest to all be in unique in the same way?

Sigh…just when I think I’m out, they (or rather, Marty), pulls me back in (yes, shameless rip/paraphrase of Al Pacino in Godfather 3). Marty, just because the Greeks were among the first to put humor to paper doesn’t mean they invented humor. Don’t you think the cavemen eventually learned to make a few jokes around the fire? And I’m sure the ancient Egyptians and Phoenicians and all of them before the Ancient Greeks had sense of humor and told jokes.

White people may have invented comedians, though…I’m willing to accept that premise on faith.

But since you’re in such an explanatory mode, Marty why don’t you explain how white people invented Jesus, how you can definitively say that they (and not some ancient person more closely located to Africa or the Middle East perhaps) domesticated the first dogs and made the first wheel.

And I’m not ridiculing you for missing part of elementary school curriculum (the Carver-peanut thing), Marty. I’m ridiculing you because after your initial misunderstanding of me, I reiterated that I was talking about someone other than George Washington the president, and you STILL didn’t get it.

I suggest to the people saying white people need to get the stick out of their ass that they *themselves* get the stick outta *they* asses. Oh snap! And start appreciating the many contributions that overeducated, underworked white yuppy liberals have made to the world (that tiny $200 computer for 3rd world countries, antiretrovirals to africa, the hybrid car…)

“Don’t you think the cavemen eventually learned to make a few jokes around the fire?” That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Of course they didn’t.

And I will explain how white people invented Jesus. God, who was white, told the holy ghost, who was also white, to go down and impregnate a white woman (Mary), who was white, and so she had a baby… WHO WAS WHITE. Read your fucking bible.

I gotta side with Marty on this one. I am pretty sure George Washington was a white dude. He was more affiliated with hemp, tobacco and cherry trees than peanuts. Wikipedia may say otherwise, which gives me pause, because it is composed by people of the internetz, so you know it’s probably true…but I’m gonna say that George Washington was not black, did not invent peanut butter, DID shave his junk, and I am 50/50 on whether he mutilated Martha’s genitalia with his wooden teeth.

Marty, I’ve read the Bible front to back. How do you get the idea that Mary was white? Mary, Joseph and all the rest lived in the Middle East. I’m not saying they were African level of blackness, but they sure as hell likely were NOT white. Tannish probably. Dusky. Probably not white. Much of the paleness in the Middle East now is a gradual effect of white people coming into the region from Europe and whiter parts of the Mediterranean. I doubt that too many Jews of that day looked much like Woody Allen.

In point of fact, Jesus was Hebrew/Jewish and kept to his father’s Jewish/Hebrew precepts. Christianity is the result of Jesus’s atoning death on the cross and the ushering in of a new convenant with God that replaces the old Hebrew convenants of the Old Testament. I simply say that just in case you want to tell me Jesus was Chrisitian, which he wasn’t. Chrisitians are the followers of Jesus and benefit from him having kept JEWISH commandments and dying for us and for our sins.

Put that in your hookah and smoke it.

And what is so unimaginable about primitive people having a sense of humor? Do you think people could only see the humor in things when they started putting on plays and building aquaducts? Your level of ignornace and narrow mindedness astounds me.

RC, I hope you’ve read my posts and not just Marty’s. Then you’d see I was not, I repeat, NOT talking about the president named George Washington but rather a black man (and botanist) named George Washington Carver.

RC, there’s no reason to frown on Deacon just because he thinks that George Washington was black. It may well be society’s, and not Deacon’s, fault that he’s been taught various false ideas. And if anyone’s going to correct the system that “educates” youngsters in this way, it’s gonna be white people.

[White people have a tendency of] “forgetting that that computers and airplanes were invented before blacks had the right to vote”

??

Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, ratified 1868. Fifteen Amendment to the United States Constitution, ratified 1870. Gave men of any race or color the right to vote.

Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, ratified 1920. That’s 50 years later. Gave women the right to vote.

Black men could vote 50 years before white women could vote in this country. And it looks like there might be a black man as President of the United States before there is a woman as President of the United States.

Arrrrghhhh! Marty, are being intentionally obtuse or do you just have the weirdest damn sense of humor…or are you just trying to fuck with me. I’m NOT talking about George Washington the president. NOT. I’m talking about a different guy. A DIFFERENT fucking guy whose last name is CARVER. George Washington CARVER! You aren’t even really reading my posts completely, are you? And if you aren’t reading my posts, I’m not even going to bother with this discussion anymore.

Oh, and God and the Holy Spirit aren’t white. They are beings of spirit and omnipresence. They aren’t physical beings. They aren’t ANY race, you numbnut

It is a vast conspiracy of pro-peanut butter black people. They’ll say that anyone was a) black and b) invented peanut butter just to push their agenda. I see it all over teh internetz and it is always the same same story “(Insert great white leader here) was actually black and did, indeed invent peanut butter. Check and mate.”

Now I have to assume that RC and/or Marty just have really weird sarcasm/humor. Because I find it hard to believe that I haven’t made myself clear by now.

Oh, and as long as we’re going down this path (and I sure hope it’s weird humor, because this next statement is NOT, I repeat, NOT serious): Flying saucers brought us the wheel and hairless vaginas. It was a vast right-wing-green-skinned-alien conspiracy to invalidate our naturalistic lifestyles and being addicting us to technology and porn.

Now, with that absurb bit of nonsense, I am officially. I repeat OFFICIALLY going away. And damn, I really hope Marty and RC are just fucking with us, because if they are as stupid as they present themselves to be, we are lost as a people.

I think the author is running out of ideas, although many entries are spot on, I don’t know anyone who holds an oscar party. As a matter of fact, I’ve never even heard of an oscar party before looking at this website….

The Canadian bit was true after 9/11, I even knew a couple who moved to Canada to protest 9/11….but I haven’t heard much about Canada since then…

I didn’t believe this post was true, but all I have to say is, I walked into work this morning and the first thing I overheard was my white co-worker telling a black co-worker that he went to his sister’s Oscar party (which she hosts EVERY year).

Don’t take it so hard, Deacon Blue. This is typical of blogs. People rarely read everything you write, they skim and then just sort of run with it. Occasionally, they’ll claim you wrote something that you did not write, which is very annoying because they’re usually trying to show how much smarter they are when in fact it’s obvious they can’t read well.

You wrote “George Washington Carver” the first time. I checked.

BTW, Marty (158), the Greeks didn’t invent humor. They sophisticated certain types of humor. Humor has been part of the human experience since we evolved into apes. Even monkeys have their own form of the ‘pull my finger’ routine.

Frond (#178), you’re right. I shouldn’t let myself get worked up about it. By way of apologizing for my behavior, you’re all invited to the very next Oscar party I throw. You’ll all to bring soda, chips and/or dip. I’ll provide the napkins.

It’s weird how people get so offended by this blog. Of course the type of people it mocks (who are, of course, the ones whose widdle feewings is bein huht) are super hypocritical and have no sense of humor, so I guess it isn’t really all that surprising after all.

such crap…im white and Ive never known a single person who has had an Oscar party and would mock anyone who did.

This is a funny site but this is making fun of one certain type of white people…if you can even call it a type. progressive, liberal yuppies white people. this type of person comes in all colors. come on.

Stereotypes are hilarious but saying “white people love:” tea, Canada, Oscar parties, yoga, or whatever….is the same as saying black people love fried chicken, grape soda etc. Asian people love to play the cello and are good at math too.

The reason that poking fun at the majority is funny and poking fun at the minority is not:

Being part of a majority means that alot of the time, you are the default. Not one of my friends thought it was odd that 90 of adult tv shows, until extremely recently, didn’t have a single person of color until a black friend pointed it out . Look at the show Friends, for example. New York city is one of the most diverse cities in the US, and yet it took eight seasons for one of them to hang out with/date someone of a different race? It’s bizarre.

When you are part of what is considered the norm, when just existing constitutes being different, and something you cannot help or change (ie:skin color) has been singled out for centuries as an excuse to kill, maime, exclude and intimidate as well as snub, shun, and deny things that others are allowed, adding so called “humor” which pokes fun at people who have already had to deal (for generations) with mistreatment–Just Not Funny.

Poking fun at something that has been revered for so long as being better, desirable, exclusive and unattainable simply does not HURT in the same way. Whites, especially upper class whites, lets face it, have never been systematically shunned for their color, traditions, and eccentricities the way other minorities have. This is why a “white trash” blog would be skirting a line. Poor whites have been made fun of– while not as much as minorities–a LOT. Thus, I don’t think that a white trash blog would be as funny as this one is.

Last night, at the Oscar party I went to, someone actually DID bring the jugs of Sunny D (and the pregnancy test!). Just thought I’d mention that, since I found it really funny! Though she said she hadn’t read this blog, so I’ll have to send it to her. I also happened to be the only asian person there, lol.

Someone mentioned the state of the Ivy Leaguers and I want to point out that at the height of the ’72…those young people became part of Buckley’s new Republic…I think it is a miss categorization to relegate these people to the Ivory tower, as much as that is a misnomer because those people are in a long standing tradition with school masters in the “Glass bead game”, a profession that does not pay much along the lines of pseudo intellectualism which is just an existential game across the “new republic” and comedy shows such as “Second City TV” back in the ’70’s…indeed, the ’60’s began as a back to the farm movement aside from the Civil rights struggle…with the passage of the Civil rights amendment compounded with all that ’50’s and 60’s education, the middle class busted out…
In short, your missing some critical fodder here…don’t forget when your white you bust out and venture into paganism or Satanism before becoming an athiest or agnostic and you enjoy films like “Nosfuratsu” and “Eraser head” and “Metropolis”, and come from a tradition of Rocky Horror Picture show…you ride bikes because it’s the best way to get around while your in school and it’s relatively free…you become a vegan and eat macrobiotically because it’s healthy and you don’t have to deal with the Karma of (the truly) Satanic cowboys…and like Kenneth Patchen, you hate Hitler…and people who speak like him…but in one sense, the fuhrer was correct…”the world is coming down to a soft pallete”…

I just feel sorry for people who need to have Oscar parties. That’s like saying, Oh my God, I care so much about Hollywood and Hollywood people: please join me in watching the TV screen for five freaking hours while these people indulge in a giant commercial for themselves.

It’s so sad. It’s worse than American Idol.

I like Jon Stewart, though (this is how you can tell I’m white whithout looking). But I am concerned because I like grape soda — which I now understand to be a nonwhite kind of thing.

Will liking grape soda make me black? Will this little taste quirk added to my fondness for Barack Obama deepen my urban cool, or has my mentioning the whole thing detracted from it?

lol @ oscar parties. i never knew these took place til last winter when I attented one. I was dragged by a white woman who i was fooling around with @ the time. It was really boring to say the least. The food was rather bland. And it was just awkward being the only darkie at this gathering full of caucasian film enthusiast. The amount of film knowledge that these kids possessed was rather disturbing. It was my first and last oscar party. And lol @ getting scolded for reffering to a motion picture as a “movie” as opposed to a “film”.

I love this site. At first, it’s like… “fuck.” But then you start to realize that this is your culture and you can’t deny it. Whoever made this site, you’re initiating mindfucks in cubicles across the country.

I can not believe that in our modern society of “equality” that a site like this is published – and celebrated! If someone were to write the same blog, only about black people, or Latinos, it would be considered uber racist and cause a pandemonium. Black people would be up in arms, and all over the media about how they are being descriminated against, yet again. Is this not descrimination against whites? How is it okay to publish this if a white can’t publish the same things about you?

Too bad that it’s sites that like that continue to encourage racism. You are making a mockery of the black people, such as Martin Luther King, who DIED to fight against that.

This is one white lady who neither attended an Oscar party or even watched it. Nothing coming out of Hollywoods holds one iota of interest for me these days. It’s just a bunch of Liberals parading in a state of perpetual sin!

Learn how to use proper grammer before trying to insult people. There is no small amount of gramatical error’s in this article. The views are funny, but you sound like a retard when trying to say something to a mass of people, and spelling things wrong. Also not using proper verbs and adjectives makes it worse. I recomend a hooked on phonics, possibly 3rd and or 4th grad level to help yourself as well as other reading.

Say, anne (#188)…i can tell you with some assurance that a liking of grape soda will in no way put you at risk of losing your status as a white person. I can speak with some authority on this issue as the white husband of a black woman (which means I have seen way more African American comedians in action than most white people…and we all know that comedians are the true social commentators in the world. 😉

According to most jokes by black people about black people, it is grape DRINK (or orange, or whatever) that is a “black” thing. Grape soda is a carbonated beverage in an inferior but still similar category as Coke or 7-Up.

Grape drink is a substance that pretty much only contains water, sugar (or corn syrup) and purple coloring. Same for orange drink, which has orange coloring instead of purple.

Since we’re on the topic of film,I feel that white people especially love “documentaries”. When white people uncover any kind of predujice or exploitation that they feel is unacceptable, they make documentaries to show other white people how incredibly knowledgeable and “aware” they are of the social injustices happening daily. Never mind that they don’t actually take steps to try to change the situation, its the idea that matters after all.

I’m going to have to chime in here and confirm that this is a real phenomenon (granted, I live in Northern CA). After not having watched the Oscars since 1994, I finally attended an Oscar party last year. Refreshments included thin-crust pizzas with exotic cheeses and toppings such as sun-dried tomatoes, clearly purchased from Whole Foods. There was indeed a pool, with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place receiving progressively smaller bottles of Grey Goose vodka as prizes. Mighty Caucasian if you ask me. Also, the acceptance speeches are riddled with false modesty, another classically white invention.

I’ll tell you what’s REEEEALLLY white. Reading someone’s blog which is meant to be funny, and then commenting on it with such remarks as “I am not sure this one is as factually accurate as the others” or “Interesting point, but I am not sure it is up to the same standard as your other pieces.”

Let me explain humor to the idiots out there: It is an individual preference. If you laugh, it is funny. If you don’t, it isn’t. Telling people it isn’t funny, or you don’t get it, or it doesn’t apply to you, or it isn’t based in fact, or you’re offended, or anything else such as this makes you an egocentric douche.

Umm, I have had an Oscar party every year for the last 10 years. In my defense, I don’t have a pool, I don’t provide bottled water and the most popular dish is Tater Tot casserole.

Side note to mamma lokka-If you’re going to criticize people about spelling and grammar, you should probably start by spelling grammar correctly. P.S. Your sentence structure and use of punctuation sucks.

Just found this blog. Hilarious! We just got our water bottles! And, we just went to an Oscar party at a local historic movie theater! We _used_ to host Oscar parties.

BUT… I have no idea which films are best or outstanding. I would never hold it against someone who didn’t know, be they white, red, purple, whatever. (It always amuses me when someone throws purple in the list of colors they find unobjectionable. Who has ever seen a purple person?)

Deacon Blue, I followed most of the heated exchange between you and Marty, and though I agree with you, it appears Marty really was just fucking with you, and maybe you shouldn’t get so worked up about comments on a blog…

You’re absolutely right, slime (#208). Frond pointed this out a few posts back and I admitted it then too. Granted, I made a joke about it then…so I’ll put on my serious hat now and admit that I should have let it go a lot earlier. I just have a problem with being misunderstood…the dark side of being someone who writes for a living and pays his bills by producing articles and such that inform and (hopefully) don’t distort information.

Back on topic, though, after reading some of the stuff about this year’s Oscars, I feel like I missed a good one. Just my luck. I finally give up on the show and that’s the year it seems they kinda did things right for a change.

I totally agree with the documentary comment. White folks love to make documentaries about all kinds of shit. I must admit that I have made documentaries myself.

It is important when being involved in a white documentary film situation to believe that awareness causes social change. And, that by just watching your film a viewer will be influenced to change their worldview.

Down with the white powers that control our nation! FUCK WHITEY!!!! I wish a thousand years of hatred, slavery, and death among your people in return for the profits your ancestors made on my forefathers. FUCK YOU WHITEYS FUCK YOU!!!!

Check out the ACTUAL definition of feminism: “The view, articulated in the 19th century, that women are inherently EQUAL to men and deserve EQUAL rights and opportunities…”

Did you pickup the keyword in that definition? That’s right! IT’s EQUAL! Now, with that in mind, how does feminism qualify as “brainwashing?” Do you think minorities shouldn’t have equal rights as well? Do your research idiot!

Also, what American city do YOU live in that “every aspect of society caters to women?”

Wake up man! (Clearly, you are a man) We live in a patriarchal society.

You could also use the word “picture” when referring to a movie, film, or motion picture. It’s a nod to old-fashioned Hollywood and there’s nothing Hollywood people love more than the idea that their industry has “traditions” and “a history.” (Cf. Drew Barrymore and the Zanucks.)

I can’t restrain myself any longer, I have to comment. After reading the thread between Deacon Blue, protagonist, Marty, antagonist, and the (pardon my pun) peanut gallery commentary from RC, I was laughing myself silly, and felt compelled to tell you, Deacon; they were messing with you. BIG TIME. I think it’s great you were trying to educate the masses, but it’s common knowledge for Americans, including Marty and RC, that an African-American invented peanut butter, okay? You need to mellow out. All the politically correct tv commercials that run ad nauseum during Black History month ensured that we all are aware of this, and have been since childhood. Besides, it’s not like it’s something to get excited about; peanut butter is toddler cuisine, after all! But Deacon, I admire your tenacity and that you seemed to remain focused on your goal. Edumacating the masses!

The only Oscar celebration I’ve ever been to was a gay bar in SanFran the year Mel Gibson won for Braveheart.
You should have hear the crowd- they hated him because of his well-known opposition to gayness. If Mel had come to this particular party, he would have had his ass kicked all over the place by gleeful tuxedoed gay men and lots of drag queens. When clips of Braveheart were being shown, the entire club started hissing and booing and shouting “Shut up, you blue-faced bitch!”

It was so funny that my scotch went up my nose when I laughed. And boy did everyone dress up that night!
Plus, the club was full of racially mixed people. So the Oscars are definitely not something just white people like.

I’d love to throw an Oscar party but I don’t like pate and I don’t think I could get Brad Pitt to show up.

sorry, the oscars suck. if any black people want to invite me to go to an oscar party – no offense but im not going to come. if for some reason you catch yourself actually coming with me to go to an oscar party you have my permission to bitch slap me, ask me where my balls are at and yell at me for half an hour about what a complete waste of time this lame ass party is going to be.

I’ve hosted an Oscar Party for the past 8 years. Everyone brings a dish that resembles a movie or actor…”There will be blood orange martini’s” were a hit this year. Past winners include “Crouching Chicken Hidden Pork Ball” and “A Shrimpl-e Plan”. I think you’ve made very astute observations but you would have stuck the landing if you would have mentioned the death montage. There was a lot of discussion on if Heath Leger made the cut off this year. Certainly the gentlemen who got the lifetime achievement this year will show up in the montage next year.

ps-i own a pug, live in a gentrified neighborhood, was born in minneapolis, still talk about ugly break ups, buy soccer jerseys when i visit foreign countries but have never watched a game, am voting for Barack, teaching my 2 year old child polish and spanish, tivo the flight of the concords. Who needs thereapy when I can visit your posts and become self actualized! Thanks for saving me the time in my volvo to drive there!

Oscar Party Host: no Tic Tacs? No blue slushie punch (served in an urn, preferably)? Sounds like there were no Juno references at your otherwise typically white Oscar party. You may as well have been wearing sombreros.

See, I’d have shown up at this year’s Oscar party with a nice big plate of Pork Swords. That just sounds like an impossible menu item to resist.

I love the idea of ‘there-will-be-blood-orange’ Martinis, though. Got the recipe? (White people love recipes …)

#235 What??? John”Stewart” is really John Leibowitz. Only Jews and Liberal white dupes can stand that guy.

The Oscars is so pathetically jewish that every year a “Holocaust” film of some sort wins something.

Just when you think the Heebs have exhausted every possible angle on their propaganda, they come up with Tom Cruise as a Nazi (except the real German was 6 foot 4) who tries to kill Adolf Hitler. When is that future “Oscar contender” coming out? Ah……like clockwork!

Oscar parties a myth? I guess Soprano parties are myth also huh? and don’t tell me you and twelve of your BFF’s didn’t huddle together to see the last episode of [insert stupid trendy TV show here (e.g. friends, Seinfeld, etc.)]

If I wrote a Blog about Black people like the one you wrote about white people as my personal facts concerning Blacks you would Come OFF The Hinges . Man you so high on your own self you’ve lost touch with reality . Wish you the best PLAYBOY How you got as far as you have is beyond me ! Brad Boshart ROUGH LOVE RECORDS LLC.

As a Baltimore City firefighter/ EMT I have worked the neighborhoods of where the Wire is filmed. This show is the next best thing as to being there. The Wire is close to showing white people a world that you have no idea what really happens in a ghetto.
Unfortunately it can not show the filth or the stench of the real world.
I guess that what happens when you have to be politically correct

This blog is so racist, stereotypical and full of shit I can smell you from here. If some white person made a blog entitled “stuff black people like,” you would be all over it cursing, yelling “crackerass,” “Honkey” and threatening violence, yet when your anti-white racism is on display it’s okay. Double standard anyone? Hypocrites. All of you.

I am a white guy born in Romania Easten Europe and grew up in Ny.Reading your post just got me angry.Here is a person that think they know everyhthing about the white race when in fact you dont know shit.What you know about the white race is the white people you see in America and please dont confuse these non soul having small penis hanging red skinned motherfuckers to an Eastern European (white) person.No we are not ashamed to be white cuz we never enslaved nobody and we actually have soul.Now i agree with you most whites in the us are completley screwed but please dont generalize whites as one.As a mixed white person as most of us Easten Europeans are I can give a BIG Fuck you but at the same time i Wont cuz youre a genius.Guess which part hates this blog???

kat (#227), I wish I would have been there to take to the streets with all those angry bar patrons when Braveheart won, not just for scum Gibson (stuff white people hate!), but also the fact that it did not deserve it.

I was rooting for Sense and Sensibility that year (2nd choice: Babe)–one of the few period pieces I not only liked but paid to see twice. Ang Lee is a master–he should have an entry here!

white people will vocally and loudly _claim _ that blacks and whites are interchangeable, but they actually secretly believe that no black person can succeed without the help of a) the government in the form of affirmative action, b) the advantages of being a foreign born african american as opposed to an american born african american or c) the help of enlightened whites such as themselves or maybe adoptive white parents ( see the section on Barack).

When white people see a black person in a position of power, success, or authority they immediately say to themselves, ” I am so proud that I support affirmative action that allows this opportunity to poor unfortunates who would otherwise go without”. they also defend AA, because they subconsciously know that their heads would explode if they had to deal with an intelligent successful black person without the crutch of assuming he is a token.

White’s actually do have _no_ idea of what it is to be a minority, but they NEED to foster the delusion that they DO understand, as this makes them feel compassionate and superior to other whites.

Please don’t be so cruel as to deny them this fantasy. By assuaging their white guilt they will be so thankful that they will give you anything you want – even the presidency of the united states. this isn’t working out for Barack because of that whole reverend wright thing, but would have otherwise.

(posted by a luminously white guy who is unique and different and actually DOES know what it is like to be a minority because he lived in rural Japan as the only gaijin for miles around and had to endure ~sob~ the pointing and being called ‘gaijin’ by jr high kids)

{ please note that all whites have an innate need to be different and special in order to salve their white guilt for stuff done by other white people before their ancestors even came to america. In my case I feel white guilt for the things done in america after my ancestors were slaughtered and driven out of the country for opposing slavery, because i am still white after all}

[whites also have a need to bring up obscure ancestral oppressions to make them more sympathetic and less guilty, see above]

This is a pretentious limp wristed ideal…not high on my list…not even on my list anymore. I haven’t watched an Oscar show in 20 years.

It’s just not worth it any more to watch a bunch of arrogant people celebrate themselves. What’s the difference if a bunch of software engineers had a celebration to see who was voted best engineer amongst themselves?

Well, I’m obsessed with the oscars and regularly keep up with the race, but i’ve never been to an oscar party. i usually just watch it at home, or when i was living in a dorm in college, it was on the main tv but that’s about it.

so is the entry about following the oscars or the act of having a party?

Wow. You managed to incorporate your insane hatred of women into a satirical, light-hearted discussion of… white people. Wow. You should try your hand at condemning the decadent behavior of women when discussing things like the Iraqi war, global warming, the Celtics’ chances of winning the NBA championship or annuities vs. mutual funds. Something tells me you have a masterly grasp of misogyny and you could easily pull this off. Er, good luck with all that….

Hey, retard, White European women have access to abortion as well, and they enjoy the same, if not more equality over there as well. Your problem is you hate all women, probably because of childhood issues with your mother, so leave America out of it.

I certainly hope you never marry (or date for that matter), because you will end up being another domestic battery/domestic homicide felon in the prison system.

Seriously, I’m sick to death of all of these people who feel so maligned by this site. For (hopefully) the last effing time:

This site is written about whites, by whites. If a black blogger came up with a silly list of things black people like (examples to follow), it wouldn’t be racist. You idiots keep assuming that no white person would put together a list of the harmless things ‘enlightened’ white people like en masse. Honestly, no other race even pays you all that much attention to have compiled a list of 100+ things white people like. They either A) don’t spend much time around this particular brand of white person, or B) do the same things themselves, and won’t dare risk self-reflection.

So here is a short list of comparable things black people like, in no particular order:

1. Jack and Jill
2. Social Greek Organizations (namely, paraphenalia and stepshows)
3. College (because it gives us a chance to pledge)
4. Tipping (to overcompensate for blacks who don’t)
5. Family Reunions (and any other excuse to have a ‘cookout’- not a barbecue)
6. Speaking 2 forms of English (for the record, most black people are fully capable of using ‘school English’ and street slang)
7. Weed (but who doesn’t?)
8. Group vacations to the Caribbean, Vegas, or skiing
9. Grape soda (yes, it’s true)
10. Mos Def (and Chappelle and Chris Rock, equally)
11. Sushi
12. Buying a bottle of whatever seems expensive in the club, when we know we came to the club un-sober already
13. VIP (I don’t understand this one myself, but we LOVE VIP rooms in clubs)
14. Having white friends (the ones who don’t try to ‘act black’- that kind vexes us)
15. Laughing at needlessly indignant white people (and blacks). But everyone likes that, especially white people who are comfortable in their whiteness. I mean, the shit’s just funny.

That’s enough for now. All of that to say, take it easy. Nothing on this site is serious enough to bring MLK into it. Get a dayum grip.

“Learn how to use proper GRAMMAR before trying to insult people. There is no small amount of GRAMMATICAL ERRORS in this article. The views are funny, but you sound like a retard when trying to say something to a mass of people, BUT YOU SPELL THINGS INCORRECTLY. Also not using proper verbs and adjectives makes it worse. I RECOMMEND “Hooked on Phonics”, possibly 3rd and/ or 4th GRADE level to help yourself, as well as OTHERS (or others’) (or others who may be) reading.”

Jackass.

Signed,

People of any race who become annoyed with morons who make more mistakes in correcting others than are found in the original source of complaint.

On the topic of movies, I just saw the Dark Knight. I found it interesting that there was a blatant pro George Bush referrence, personified in Batman. I went online to see who else picked up on it. It was funny to find that in all the forums, white people were trying to argue that there was no intentional referrence, because they obviously loved the film.

Embarrassed to say I went to one but only because a co-worker of mine was nominated…it still sucked fat monkey balls. Filled with assholes just patting each other on the back and the asshole who was nominated still didn’t win. That was my only joyful moment of that night.

White man here, at an oscar party for the year of Brokeback Mountain, I brought up the idea that the Brokeback would have been the greatest film of all time if it was about attractive gay cowGIRLS instead of cowboys. This was followed by….awkward silence, Also something that white people adore-pointing out awkward silences.In my opinion somebody should always have a fart ready for these situations.

They do it alot in lala land. a bunch of 30-40 somethings still living in apartments with a roomie or 3, and throw big party with chips, organic salsa, orgasmic tortillas. with bottled water, derrier water, and diet all natural soda. or maybe some wine from sonima valley for only 40 buck a pop. then they root for those celebrator idiots who could care less, all about the benjamins baby. whites are so funny

Pregnant teenager costumes? OMG, Guys are in drag big time and get to play Juno, Sarah Palin, Britney Spears or “lesbian” with a turkey baster. IMO, Pregnant women are BEAUTIFUL, but in this case: men act like this is some ladies night will probably be banned in next year’s Oscar party. Hey you, don’t be drinking with the baby in you! +

Mad Men costumes work well in the Emmy’s, while the Jon & kate outlook without the 8 kids may be alright. On the next Oscar party, who wants to be Optimus Prime or Decepticon in heavy pseudo-metal gear? The Valkyrie gang will be the best…we’re looking to kill Hitler, where is he? +

David Letterman should stay away from the Totally Spies (the animated movie is already out in Europe), three young co-ed girls are part-time spies: Darn, if I can play a girl spy among my female friends! xD

yo dawggs the oscers be strate up racist how come no brother be nomenated for nuffin and why in the wolrd how high and soul plane and eny movie by the wayne bro never won best picter
i bet it becuz all the voters ar e oldass cracker

Oh, the Oscar parties I’ve had to weasel my way out of over the years! And you know, I’ve weaseled my way out of plenty of parties in my day, but the ones that piss off the hosts the most is when you repeatedly fail to attend their Oscar parties. For some reason, that ends up being unforgivable to hosts on some level. I don’t mean to sound negative; it’s nice that people want to invite one to a party; but I don’t care about the Oscars nor should anyone who isn’t working in the entertainment industry, really.

White people, well all people, also enjoy http://www.NakedHipster.com. Mainly because the girls are hot and don’t have clothes on. Usually those two things go well together. You know, the hotness and the nakedness.
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throw a tofu/sun flower seed party with a bunch of singles who have little outside their corporate hamster wheeling/mundane lives and watch american flatus movies, stuttering movies, or another recyled plot wth bad acting or PC BS.

I don’t consider Baidu can compete with Google. Its major marketplace is India and in fact, it serves 338 million individuals there. That explains why it is controlling 63% of India’s market share and at the time of 3% of the industry’s.

Folks also collect to watch Countrywide Soccer League game titles in a selection of locations. These places range between somewhere so simple as their homes, to bars all around town and in some cases towards the stadium itself. Probably the most typical form for most people is always to maintain a barbecue after which view the video games with some popcorn or beer.

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