Soulmates vs Twin Flames

I had the most interesting conversation a few days ago about Soulmates after reading a fascinating article about the origins of ‘fated lovers’.

It is mythicised there is an invisible string of fate that binds, from birth, two people that are destined to be together. These two fated lovers are connected, despite circumstance and regardless of time or place. It is said that the ancient Gods of the East tied the threads to the ankles of fated lovers and that nothing can break this invisible thread that connects two people who are destined to be together.

It is a romantic notion and certainly one that many Disney movies and Hollywood films have attempted to depict over the years. The myth of the ‘red thread’ is used to explain the concept of a soulmate from ancient perspectives, but what I have found from my own experiences and from talking with, and sharing the experiences of many others, is that there is not just one soulmate for any one person, that in fact – there are many. People and animals that come in and out of our lives at times to share messages and teach us lessons that allow us substantial change and growth in our lives. They are people that we may, or may not, have known before that share a purpose in this current physical incarnation to fulfil a soul purpose (soul contract).

There are many connections that we make in an incarnation within the physical realm. Some of the most notable and important being that of romantic connections, friendships, siblings, parents, children and even pets.

For me, I have experienced some intense soulmate connections. Some that have left me reeling and falling as a result. Experiences that were painful and traumatic, but the growth and the lessons that came from those connections were just as valuable. Also, I have connected with soul mates in this life that have shone a light on me and loved me beyond comparison or measure. An experience and connections that has only ever lifted me up to heights undreamed of. These connections, they varied over time and measure. They were lovers, family members and friends. Sometimes they came in the form of co-workers and were a part of my life for only moments, but we were connected on a level that almost didn’t make sense and that seemed so natural, so destined and so intimate, that it was impossible to ignore or to change.

Quite often, it is your soulmate(s) that you will recognise during past life recalls. An experience of having shared a contract (or still sharing an existing contract) with them, in a past incarnation. For me, I have lived and shared many lives with my Earthly Mother…. sometimes as her mother, sometimes her daughter and even once as siblings. The connection and bond we share is indescribable and intense. The lessons each time are valuable and distinct. My best friend, who I met at the age of fifteen, entered my life with feelings of anger, distrust and jealousy – but we soon connected deeper than anyone I had every known and remain the closest of souls today. A man, met and married that has carried me through the deepest and darkest recesses of my soul and stood by me as the light shone brightest, who, despite the circumstances and timing, we always find ourselves soothed by each other’s presence and energy. Even when apart, we end up back together. In this incarnation he is my partner and father of my children.

So, if we have many soulmates (people and animals) that can shape and alter our lives through their presence and energy. People that we are connected to at a soul level, but that are not always romantic lovers. Friends and co-workers, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, parents and children…. then what about that ‘one’ person? That desirable, unattainable, destined and fated lover. The one that the ancient myths speak of as a perfect partner and destined twin? … Is this in fact your ‘twin flame’ and not actually your ‘soul mate’?

Under mythical legend, it is said that a twin flame is the perfect accompaniment to your soul. In fact, belief has it that a twin flame is one soul that split into two before incarnation and in the physical realm it is the search for the ‘missing part’ of one’s self and soul. It is documented that the meeting of two twin flames is like the meeting of the sun and moon, earth and sky, fire and water. A connection in which both partners mirror precisely what the other desires. Oftentimes creating divine harmony, but with all energy and dualities, can also cause intense conflict. It is not often found in just one incarnation and many feel they never meet their twin flame. Some even believe that a twin flame (twin soul) will only reveal itself when you have completed your soul contracts and are ready for reconnection and heightened awareness of oneself.

So, is your twin flame, that intense and sordid affair that you had when you were in your 30s. The one that you have always described as a narcissist who burned you beyond imagining? …. Or is s/he the partner you are married to? The one that walks with you in life, facing all challenges and blessings together as a combined unit? Or is it the person that you want to be with but never can (as maybe they are already married), despite the unexplainable electricity between you whenever you are around each other? Or – are they walking on the Earth somewhere this very moment and you have just not met them yet?

To me, a twin flame is a connection that is so deep and raw that it defies all reality and logic. It is an essence of a soul that matches so closely with your own that the laws of duality begin to take hold. When two things appear as opposites but are essentially the one (eg: a coin, that has two sides, but is still a coin). The twin flame is the embodiment of all that you are – shown to you in reflection. They are a person that shows you the bad to your good and the good to your bad. They show you love where hate exists in your heart and in turn the opposite. They are an opposing force that when connected appear as complete opposites, but in which you see yourself with such clarity and balance. Where the sense of purpose of life is replaced with just ‘being’.

But, and this is a strong ‘but’ … with their connection comes an awakening. A dark night of the soul as you are forced to explore all parts of yourself in the opposite of who you are and what you know of yourself. They will question, argue, help, love, hinder, aid, force, assist, prevent and prevail all to the benefit of your connection WITH YOURSELF!

A twin flame, is a soul mate that will awaken within you your OWN duality. That will allow you to see your soul in its entirety and complexity. To me, the real twin flame of your soul – is within yourself!

So – are a soulmate and twin flame different things….in my opinion – no! They are energetic connections made with other beings that shift our reality. Sometimes this shift is encouraging and instantaneous, filled with love and an energy of abundant connection (soul mate), other times it is hard and intense. It is fire and ice, it is electric and quick (twin flames) …but every time, it is about the depth of connection to your OWN soul and not to that of another.

Sometimes you will recognise your soul mates and twin flames instantly. Other times, you may look back on a lesson learned and recognise them for what they were. Other times you will purposely stay away from some as they bring up in you, things you are not ready to yet face, and in other instances, those you wish to be connected with; for their own purpose and journey, will stay away from you or walk a different path, to be connected again in another incarnation and lifetime, instead.

The most important thing to remember is this – the universe works with the law of attraction and our thoughts have immense power! So, as long as we seek a twin flame in our lives, then we are putting out to the universe that our soul is not in harmony, that it is lacking. As such, we will attract less harmony and feel the lack even more. Instead, when we take the sum of our experiences and understanding. When we connect with the soul mates we have encountered, and realise that we are whole ‘as we are’. When we delve into the duality of ourselves and connect to our own inner twin flame, then we attract and abundance of energy of that kind. We attract people that develop us and allow us to grow. We attract external twin flames and soul mates to show us the path to reconciliation of our soul in this life time.

Belinda Hayes

Dedicated to healing and the science of energy, Belinda is committed to enriching people’s lives to allow them live their own version of happiness.

As a Reiki Master and accredited Crystal Healer and Teacher Belinda offers powerful and dedicated options of healing through various products and services as well as workshops and training courses.

As a mother of 2 beautiful children and a survivor and fighter…Belinda knows all too well the power of positive thinking and the ability of the mind to heal the body. She is passionate about the mind-body connection and holistic health from a spiritual, emotional, mental and physical perspective.