A hero to children everywhere.

KFC’s Double Down Returns

Men are all about protein.

And bacon.

And cheese.

Carbs are for sissies.

And we do love our fried chicken.

You don’t know how happy I am that KFC brought back its legendary Double Down, a majestic, man-sized creation of chickeny goodness KFC Philippines describes on its website as “an all-meat sandwich with two Original Recipe Chicken fillet, two pieces of bacon, cheese and mayo.”

I repeat: An all-meat sandwich. With two chicken fillets. And bacon. And cheese. And mayo.

I guess that makes it paleo-approved?

It’s all good for just P120 a pop, a la carte, or P160 with fries and a soda.

For less manly men with lesser appetites, they also have the Junior Double Down, which is much smaller, and is the fried chicken equivalent of saying you have a small penis.

I wouldn’t get one, even at just P80 a la carte. I’d just go for the man-sized bigger version. It’s symbolic – everybody knows, after all, that the size of a man’s penis directly relates to the size of his fried chicken.

I love the Double Down. It’s a man-sized burger for a man-sized appetite.

And believe me, it’s taking all my willpower not to pick up my phone and get about 14 of these bad boys delivered…