When it comes to giving things to the players versus making them “earn” them:

Give a player a fish, and he’ll probably try to sell it to an NPC fisherman.

Teach a player to fish, and next week he’ll show up with the book, “The Complete Adventuring Fisherman”. He’ll start hunting for some monstrous leviathan to catch and enslave, and he’ll be dual-wielding two fishing poles.

“Teach a player to fish, and next week he'll show up with the book, “The Complete Adventuring Fisherman”. He'll start hunting for some monstrous leviathan to catch and enslave, and he'll be dual-wielding two fishing poles.”

That is a perfect decription of our group. Hurray for number crunchers

I can’t wait to see the DM try to explain to the party what the Palantir is, and why it’s not exactly “trapped” nor is it proper “loot”.

———————

Aragormless: So this thing is basically like a cellphone?

DM: NO! No, it’s more like…see…okay. Since Sauron has another Palantir right now, then using this one is kind of like seeing directly into his mind. And that’s very bad for the viewer. Trust me, that’s a bad place, and you don’t want to be there. Look at what happened to Pippin.

LeggoMyAss: See into the mind of Sauron? But didn’t I kill him in our last session? Arrow crit, fall from tower, nasty spiky wheel? You’re getting all of our names confused again, aren’t you?

I’ll bet that crystal ball would really help Aragorn bag the chicks. Those RenFest babes go all ga-ga for anything that looks magicky. As long as he keeps a healer nearby (or some Cure Disease potions), it could be a very good thing. Chicks dig Big Balls.

Given that the screenshots are taken from the extended version, I’m looking forward to the post-Minas Tirith scene when Aragorn wields the palantir and gives some badass talk to Sauron. I’m sure that conversation will be MOST entertaining.

So when Elrond delivers Aragorn’s sword, he explains to him how to use the palantir. As soon as Elrond leaves, Aragorn immediately starts trying to spy on women, & finds Arwen (splice in shots “Stealing Beauty” ). Only then, he notices Sauron’s eye peeking in too!

Awesome Shamus. I stand in awe of your skills. You must have at least a +5 screen capture modifier.

I don’t know how you are going to avoid Aragorn using the palintir to sneak a peek at Arwen in the bath. And having Sauron, the bodiless, peering over his metaphorical shoulder is just too good to pass up.

I don’t envy you for the need now to top those gags. But I know you are up to the challenge! And I am anxiously awaiting the result. ;)

Love the screen cap of Pippin being mind-sucked. I just wished Aragorn had referred to him as the “blonde halfling…”

James @ 23: I’m a little sad to see the end coming, too, but I’m holding out hope for a DM of the Force comic starring the halflings who left way-way back when. What do you think, Shamus? DM of the Force? How about it?

DM of the Force sounds good. You think Aragorn looks like a dumb stoner? Just wait until Shamus starts pulling screen caps of Anakin. I’m picturing Anakin and Obi-wan going through the droids and yelling, “That was sweet! You cut him right in half!” every time they kill one.

Aragorn: [holding palintir] “Hmmm… how does this thing work now…”
Pause: “Sheesh, nothing but static, I wonder what that Arwen chick is up to….”
Sauron: “Foolish mortal, now you are revealed to me! I shall…. what’s this?”
Aragorn: “It’s that Arwen chick in the bath! Woohoo! Score!”
Sauron: “Wow, she’s hot!”
Aragorn: “No kidding! I’m so gonna get a piece of that!”
Sauron: “How in the world did I let my body get destroyed?! No wonder I’m so pissed off all the time!”
Aragorn: “Heh, your problem buddy, not mine. Sweeeet! Check that out!”
Sauron: “I think I have to go.”
Aragorn: “Your loss pal! I wonder if I can check out that forest elf chick next…..”

I always thoughtit was
“teach a player to fish and he’ll try to convince you that he should be able to use his fishing skills:
to throw a grappling hook (with his ub3r1337 casting prowess),
as proficiency in whip/javlin/rapier (casting, spearfishing, pole is long & thin)
as a substitute for survival any time his character is near water,
to sail a boat,
to BUILD a boat,
in place of rope use (hey if i can thread and tie fishing hooks…)”

To bad there aren’t any player characters who will be around to hear Theoden’s speech in front of Minas Tirith. Of the two I thought Theoden’s was far more compelling and far more gripping. And I could just see Legolas’s character looking around saying “death? Death? I don’t THINK so. Glory doesn’t come from dying for your country, it comes from making the OTHER poor son of a bitch die for HIS country.”

As long as we’re ignoring what Shamus said in his Fear the Boot interview, and keep suggesting worlds he can’t get the rights to…

Obviously the DMotR after running his Tolkien campaign, will want to do something heavy in politics. I’m betting he’ll run Dune.

Yeuh: So Mr. Mentat has this place so locked up that the Barron won’t attack us and we’ll never get a round of combat… I want some XP this session, my character will sneak down to the basement and turn off the house shields….

Paul: So my father is dead, my castle sacked, I have a broken ‘thopter, and the only woman you leave me with is my mother?
DM: Look we aren’t //that// type of campaign…
Paul: Well its a good thing I just took a level of thrallherd then, the local savages
DM:Fremen
Paul: Whatever. They’re the only ones nearby, soon I’ll have an army of these people who’ve be effectively wreaking my spice harvesting.
Jessica: Ooh, good point. And I can use my witches tricks to make you look like a god.

Jessica: Look, I’m not doing it.
DM: What? Why?
Jessica: Drowned sandworm poison has a DC of 50.
DM: You been training for this moment for a long time, the circumstance modifiers alone…
Jessica: Fine, I roll a nat 1. I’m dead, happy?
DM: Well actually …
..time passes..
Jessica: So I was pregnant, instantly had the baby, and it’s grown to a 6 year old in a month?
Alia: Look I had three other character concepts, but somebody won’t go back to town.
Paul: I want to go back to town, but my elite fighting force keeps destroying instead of capturing the ‘thopters. Besides, your last character betrayed us to that fat man.

Paul: The Emperor has made a critical error and the time for our attack has
come.
Alia: Critical error? Won’t he just use his spaceships to nuke us from orbit?
Jessica: We could attack during a storm.
DM: The storm would instantly kill half your army.
Paul: So? It’ll reform in three days.
DM: Look I’m not going to let you…
Gurney: Hey Guys! I just noticed I still have the family atomics on my sheet from character creation!
Paul: Cool! Forget the storm, we’ll rig…
DM: them on the shield wall so the storm destroys the Emperor’s air support.
Paul: but…
DM: Then charge in with your army before the Emperor decides to flee.
Alia: As long as I get the fatman. He never paid my last character for bringing down the house shields.