This blog is part of the Scáth na Feannóige/Shadow of the Hooded Crow project exploring fénnidecht as a practice to follow the War Goddessses, Badb, Macha and the Morrígan whose name is Anann. This is a less formal place for me to discuss various issues of interest to someone on a modern version of the Outlaw warrior path such as physical training, history, Old Irish literature, pop culture inspirations, werewolves, ecstatic trance (okay, I find that one tough to write about but I may try), gender issues the wilderness....

Monday, October 26, 2009

As I noted previously, when I started this blog it was to write about the warrior path from all the angles I approach it, the spiritual, the ancient literary and historical as well as the actual training and the pop cultural. But by the time I really started working on it, I had backed off of writing about spirituality and my historical studies for various reasons I won't get into right now. I felt more comfortable writing about my training, about self-defense and about how Sarah Connor is a mega inspiration. I threw myself into The Sarah Connor Charm School at the same time I privately got back to work on a lot of very spiritual matters that I didn't write about.

Of course, it all connects for me, when I go out shooting I feel An Morrígan, the Goddess I am oathed to, with me, as I do when I lift, when I run, when I work...all the time. But I don't really mention it much. The pop cultural ties into the ancient literature for me as well and both tie into my training and my spirituality. Story has power, no matter the source. Sometimes, as I've written about, the power is very negative...and sometimes even negative stories end up having power. I need to get into that more here, I think. In fact, I have some ideas.

I think that a part of my problem in writing a lot of this is that I find very few others making the connections that I make. Oh, there are some...some of you reading this, in fact. But I learned several years ago that my outlook is different than a lot of other Pagans. I realized this when I was working on an article for a women's spirituality magazine and I was told it wasn't "Goddess focused" enough. It was to me! But the editor couldn't see it. She saw that I included factual information about violence against women and she couldn't see the spirituality behind it, even with all the woo I thought I was putting in. I suck at writing woo, apparently.

And now, as I take up a writing project about the warrior path for Pagan women, I realize that I'm not in the same space as most who claim similar interests. Part of it is that I do not believe that there were all these huge numbers of women warriors in the past, especially not in Celtic cultures which I am focused on. Oh, I believe they existed, but the evidence isn't there to support it so I can't SAY they existed...which is what so many want to hear. Or others want to say that lack of evidence proves they didn't. This, of course, is where story comes to play for me. What do all these stories mean?

And then there are those who, always mind boggling to me, want to be some sort of pacifist warriors. "Warriors don't really fight, you know. It doesn't mean that." Um, it doesn't? These same people, mostly women but hardly all women, also usually try to transform An Morrígan into some sort of loving Soccer Mom, who protects the weak rather than demands effort from the strong. Sorry, it doesn't wash with either the lore about Her or my own experiences. I can't say whether other people's experiences are valid, but based on all that is know about Her, I can question it. Especially with the bizarre "retellings" of Her stories which are so far from what is in the lore as to, well, break ones brain to read.

When An Morrígan claimed me I had to question a lot about what I believed about myself and my God/desses...and the world. It's still often a long, hard haul. But it's there. Everything I do in life is either part of it or, still, fighting against it. Everything.

Where my training and my studies have taken me in the past few years, since splitting from working with people who I now realize were toxic to me and through the death of my parents, is sometimes mind shattering. While I've been transforming for years, there have been leaps forced by the events in my life and healing I needed to do. And I do believe it has led me to the right place to get back to work on the writing project which will sum this all up.

So things might crop up here of a more spiritual nature or of more ancient "pop culture" of story telling over the coming months. We'll see how the mix goes here, perhaps. And perhaps someday some of you will be interested in this thing that has started to eat my life. Maybe.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I've been posting on my LiveJournal about the Polanski fiasco, in anger, shock and horror that so many celebrities seem to feel he shouldn't be brought to justice because he's supposedly a great artist. I'm horrified by some of his supporters and I can NOT support their work, I just can't.

It's rape survivors who need to be supported, not rapists, no matter what you think of the talent of said rapist. This...man, although it's hardly suiting to give him that much dignity, forcibly raped a 13 year old child then ran from the country to avoid prosecution.

I'm so angry about this I can barely write, so I'm going to post the link to Kate Harding's Salon.com post because she does a better job than I can.

I posted the names of those who have signed the petition supporting Polanski, supporting rape, standing up for rape, saying that it's okay that this girl was brutilized in this LJ post and do not wish to repeat it again. I will add that Whoopi Goldberg, Harrison Ford, Debra Winger and Tilda Swinton have all publicly stated support as well.

Scáth na Feannóige

Exploring the warrior path as a way to the Gaelic War Goddesses; Badb, Macha and the Morrígan, whose name is Anann

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Sometimes I will talk about fitness and self-defense here, please keep in mind that any change in your fitness routine should include good education and slow progression to avoid injury and if you have any risk factors for cardiovascular disease, or think you might, or just haven't exercised for a long time, discuss these changes with your medical professional of choice. Self-defense can only be learned from a qualified instructor and with lots of practice, please look to the links above to help you find them.

So who the hells am I?

Gaelic Heathen on the warrior path in service to the War Goddesses, Badb, Macha and the Morrígan, AFAA certified personal trainer, homesteader, horsewoman, alpha bitch to a motley dog pack, self-defense junkie, fitness freak, left-wing gun nut, fangirl, seeker of ancient knowledge, practitioner of modern ways, staff member of The Sarah Connor Charm School, fan and teller of stories of strong women from ancient times and modern....