Search KidSpot

My child is always hungry and eating too much. What am I doing wrong?

My daughter is three years old and is always hungry. She has put on about four kilos in three weeks and I can't seem to stop her from being hungry. I am concerned about her putting on weight so fast and what I am doing wrong so that she is always so hungry. What should I do?

Dr Justin says:

The first thing I’d be suggesting is that you take your daughter to the local doctor and get her checked out. This does seem to be a little surprising, but I’m not that kind of doctor so I can’t speak with any authority on how much weight your daughter should be gaining.

What I can tell you is that from a psychological point of view the following tips may be useful:

Kids are very quick to pick up on our messages regarding eating. When we try to force them to eat, they’ll often resist. When we try to take food away from them, they want it more.

So from a psychological perspective it seems that the most effective way we can deal with our children’s eating is to allow them autonomy. They typically know when they’re hungry and they’ll eat then. We find out quickly too. They become irritable and difficult to deal with when they don’t get the food they need when they need it.

So give them food regularly, make it healthy, and let them decide. Most kids will regulate their eating quite well. When they’re hungry they’ll eat well. When they’re not hungry they’ll ease up. You’ve probably already seen this with your daughter. Some days she’ll barely eat at all. Other days she’ll go crazy. When we try to regulate her eating and make her eat whether or not she’s hungry, you’ll override her natural ability to recognise her hunger (or lack of it) and she’ll feel compelled to eat whenever she’s told to.

Developing healthy eating habits

The keys to remember are:

Offer healthy food regularly

Avoid offering kids foods high in sugars and saturated fats. You know the ones that are bad for your daughter. Keep her away from them or she’ll become fussy and only want them. Don’t use them as rewards either, or she’ll start to see the good foods as a necessary evil to get more of the bad stuff.

Avoid any feelings of being ‘forced’ to eat or not eat. If she doesn’t feel like eating, leave her be. Let her know the food is there when she wants it. If she wants more, make sure it’s healthy and let her eat it, assuming it’s in line with the doctor's orders.

This article was written for Kidspot by Justin Coulson, Ph. D. Justin is a relationships and parenting expert, author and father of five children. Find him on Facebook, Twitter, and at happyfamilies.com.au.