Ideal Songs For Porch Drinking Part 20

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You know how it goes. You’ve had a long week, rife with classes and work and other responsibilities, but all you want to do is crack a beer and get some sun. Luckily, your good buddy Karl is here to give you the new edition of Porch Jams, all handpicked from the annals of music to perfectly complement your porch brew experience.

Fan Favorites are picked from the top comment of the previous edition.

My favorite is based on whichever suggested track I dig the most.

Be sure to leave your own suggestions in the comments for a chance to be
featured on next week’s list. Let’s crank some tunes.

Fan Favorite: Sympathy For The Devil, The Rolling Stones

Suggested by SerenityNow. One of the Stones’ better tracks which is a downright impressive feat considering their expansive portfolio. Although it’s playing devil’s advocate for Old Scratch, even the most devout folk have given it two thumbs up. The stylings of the Stones, primarily Mick Jagger’s aggressive vocals, make it a perfect listen to kick off the afternoon.

Karl’s Favorite: Beer Run, Todd Snider

Suggested by John Boehner. Ask Speaker Ryan to scope my new mixtape. It’s (fire emoji). A lot of folks have asked for this song, the tale of some frat bros trying to score a case of brews, and it’s only fair to reward that kind of persistence. Plus, it features helpful hippies. Also, big ups to Snider for dropping a line about sober drivers.

1. I Like Beer, Tom T. Hall

Tom T. Hall is the artist of the simple man. Though some folks are partial to fine wines and top shelf liquor, our guy just wants an ice cold beer. Here at TFM, we accept porch drinkers of all inclinations. Whether you brush your teeth with Rumple Minze or still think “You got iced” is an acceptable greeting, you’re welcome to partake. Still, if you’re willing to express your love for classic American liquid bread, Mr. Hall and I will find you a whole lot cooler.

2. Nickel and Dime, Journey

It’s just one massive, incredible, guitar solo and I love it. This song is from ’77, a time otherwise known as “when Journey was badass.” I’m all for a rousing rendition of “Don’t Stop Believing,” but if I’m sitting and sipping then throw me some psychedelic rock and let it play. If you feel the same, I highly recommend finding their “Next” album in that box where your dad keeps his bowl and giving it a listen.

3. Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo, Rick Derringer

In addition to being the ultimate “Roll out” saying (i.e. We’re going to the bar, rock and roll hoochie koo!) the actual song is a serious banger. Granted, it’s entirely about what I think is butt stuff, so be cautious about who you play it around. Or don’t. Live your own life.

4. Why Don’t We Get Drunk, Jimmy Buffett

Another song about fucking. Really hope this doesn’t turn in to a boner jam edition. This one’s from Master of Romance Jimmy Buffett though, so you can be sure the casual island tunes will provide raucous laughter from your bros and immediate flood warnings for your lady friends. Sober sex, otherwise known as “The great unknown” is wildly overrated, and Mr. Buffett is just spreading the word about its hotter cousin.

5. Into The Great Wide Open, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Ok, this one’s not about sex. I hope. Is it? If so that’s kind of gross, Tom. Not the weirdest thing to come out of Florida though, I suppose. Not relevant. As far as Petty goes, every song can get you where you need to go. This ditty is a bit slower than most of his work, but the variety of sounds will keep you up while Tom talks about going down. That’s not what I meant, sickos.

6. Love Stinks, The J. Geils Band

Seriously, how great was The Wedding Singer? This is another fun song from the guys who brought you hits like “Centerfold” and “Freeze-Frame.” Even if you’re the one breaking hearts, you rascal you, the whammy sounds and genuinely engaging lyrics are enough to have you going as hard as mid-90s Adam Sandler’s career. Get back to your happy place, Sandler. Also, take a look at my headshots. I’ve been stuck on a sitcom for almost 30 years.

7. Amos Moses, Jerry Reed

According to music, Cajuns should be downright feared. Gators are dinosaurs, and those people are regularly documented as dominating them. It’s like Jurassic Park if Jeff Goldblum was replaced with Bruce Willis. If one of you could confirm or renounce that in the comments, it would be appreciated. Regardless, Amos Moses is a mean son of a gun due to extended mental agony inflicted on him by his father in the developmental years. There’s a lesson in this, but who gives a shit because the song is excellent.

8. Whisky Night, REO Speedwagon

Oh look, a Speedwagon song that doesn’t result in crippling depression. I think we broke down some serious boundaries today, guys and gals. At first listen, the 1970’s porn soundtrack feel really jumps out at you. The title having whiskey in its name gives the song subtle oaky tones, and the instrumentals bring about a nice texture that isn’t offset by upbeat vocals.

9. I’m Still Fly, Page feat. Drake

This single received a big boost when Drake made his own mix of it, but the original is a downright banger. Before Drake became a meme, he was actually a quality young rapper who was courted as a top featured act. Page’s own deep, and undoubtedly fly, verses were nicely set up by young Drake’s sheer lyrical talent. Plus, that beat is just too hot to handle. Let your chapter A$AP get his hands on it and make a bunch of Degrassi jokes. It’s what he does.

10. Learn to Fly, Foo Fighters

Fraternity legend and Late Night King David Letterman’s favorite song lends itself to cold beer and sunshine. It’s far from somber. The guitar rises to a stellar climax and just barrels through some unbelievably catchy lyrics. Never, ever deny the power of “catchy.” Scope the Tenacious D cameo. On that note, we miss you Dave. Hope retirement’s all you dreamed of.

11. All Falls Down, Kanye West ft. Syleena Johnson

The College Dropout is the bridge between Kanye and this Yeezy guy. Before he was body-snatched for his actual musical talent to be siphoned off as renewable energy for the Kim K app (working theory), this song featuring the lovely vibrato of Syleena Johnson was the go to track at a party. Now, since party songs are basically loud jackhammers with cymbals in the background, it has transitioned to a wonderfully mellow song to throw back a few beers to.

12. D’yer Mak’er, Led Zeppelin

Groups like Zeppelin have a way of making sorrow seem so damn sweet, and this track is a testament to that fact. The talents of every member is on full display, as John Paul Jones’ stellar bass is perfectly accented by the percussion talents of John Bonham. Jones actually hated the song, but Robert Plant fought to have it released as a single. Despite its critical reception, it has gone on to be popular due to the reggae tones and doo wop roots. Translation: It’s a jam.

13. Why Georgia, John Mayer

Despite having his name sullied by the opinions of gym bros and tryhards, John Mayer is a serious guitar genius. His blues and easy listening talents, though easily dismissed because of his popularity, are second to none. Plus, the guy nailed T-Swift and got her to release another banger. As far as the song goes, it’s perfect for a long lonely drive or a few introspective beers. Just not both at the same time, doofus.

14. Satellite, Dave Matthews Band

Another blues/rock masterpiece whose beauty lies in its simplicity. Thanks to the array of talent featured in the DMB, it realizes a potential that lesser artists couldn’t possibly mimic. A variety of strings are employed to maximum effect while a horn adds a whole new level of flavor. Throw in Dave’s vocal range and you’re cooking with hot Crisco. The people want Dave. Give them what they want.

15. Magic Carpet Ride, Steppenwolf

End things on a high note with this hot take. It’s full bodied with plenty of funk and a serious crowd pleaser. You’d be surprised how many people will get up and get down to a song that doesn’t include the words “Make that ass shake.” The final chorus comes in fast and easy after a real head scratcher of a solo, ensuring that this song always goes out on top.

Again, be sure to leave your suggestions in the comments for a chance to be featured on next week’s list. As always, don’t drink and drive.

Karl Karlson is TFM's self-proclaimed cartoon expert and your best buddy. He resides in the mountains of NC where he wrestles black bears and attempts to grow a beard. Karl gave up liquor following an unfortunate incident involving tequila and a vacuum cleaner, but he isn't above a nice stout on the porch.