Our (coed) shower was two weeks ago. We got a good amount of stuff off of our registries (BB&B and Amazon). However, the two things were purchased off our Amazon registry were the things that FI really wanted: a meat grinder and vacuum food sealer (we do a lot of hunting and want to start processing our own meat). The things off the Amazon registry that we did not get that I really want include a set of pots and pans (which we desperately need, and FI agrees) and an awesome waterproof and shockproof digital camera that we would take on our fishing/hiking/hunting trips- so it kind of is for the both of us. Everything that we got at our shower were things that the both of us will benefit from: a new vacuum, blender, juicer, bar set, luggage, and the meat grinder and vacuum sealer, among other things.

We also got some gift cards- $80 for Amazon, $100 for BB&B, and $70 for Target. We have about 2 months til the wedding. FI really wants to use the Amazon or Target gift cards toward buying a new iPod (his was stolen last year). I already have one, so this would be solely his iPod.

I’m kind of torn. I know he really wants the iPod, but he doesn’t really need it. Like we need the pots and pans. Or the camera that we both want. And we also need other things we didn’t register for- like new sheets, a garment steamer, car seat covers for the dog, etc. He says he really wants the iPod now because we’re having a band play at our wedding and between their sets he would like to play music on the iPod. We can totally use mine for that, but he doesn’t want to because mine is “old”, though it still functions completely fine. I think it’s just an excuse to get a new one, lol.

I wouldn’t mind waiting until after the wedding to let him use the gift cards or money we get to buy an iPod. I want to purchase the things that we don’t get off of our registry, though, first.

I feel bad. But I also fee like if this is something he wants so badly, he needs to save up for it himself, since it is something he wants and will only be used by him, unlike the registry gifts. He’s not very good at saving. He would rather spend $30 a week to go out to dinner, get drinks, etc, than he would save it.

Should I just give in and let him get the iPod? Or should I ask him to wait and buy it with the money/gift cards that we will potentially get as wedding gifts (also ask him to save along the way)?

nycsa: I want the gift cards to be used toward things on the registry. I don’t want spend them on random things that only I want/will use when there are things we need for the house. I feel like, because the iPod will only be his, he should use his money to buy it. There are plenty of things I want that I could buy at Target or Amazon, but I think those gift cards should be used toward things for us, as they were given to us at the shower. Especially if we don’t get much in terms of wedding gifts, I’d like to have them to use toward whatever we don’t get.

Plus, we should be saving as much as we can right now. We still have things to buy for the wedding and we want to start saving for a down payment on a house. A $300 iPod certainly isn’t at the top of our list of “needs” right now.

Unless he’s planning to drop several hundred on an iPod, I don’t see what the big deal is. Yes, it’s strictly “for him”, but in the scheme of things it’s only one item and so many are for both of you. How many of the registry items do you want vs. does he want? Like a garment steamer?

I’d compromise to use one GC to get the iPod now (he’d have to spend a couple weeks saving up the rest) and then use the other 2 GCs and any monetary gifts from the wedding to get anything off the registery that wasn’t purchased.

Eh, I guess I’m of the thought that a gift given to a couple should be spent by the couple, not just one half, so I wouldn’t want my FI spending “our” gift on him (and conversely I would not ask to spend a joint gift on my personal want). I say at least wait, see what you get and what you still need, and then decide.

cdncinnamongirl: well the garmet steamer is something we need. But yes, the bedding set is definitely more of a want than a need.

I guess I’m just a little peeved because he’s been buying other things he wants, like a new hiking backpack and some athletic clothing, instead of saving for this iPod, and now that we have gift cards he wants to use them toward it.

Plus, he just had a birthday last week. I bought him new hiking shoes ($170). If he wanted the iPod so bad, why didn’t he ask for money toward it? He got money from his parents ($100) that he wants to put toward the iPod.

I would hold off till after the wedding. Maybe let him know that if you get the two items you have earmarked as the most important that you’d be happy to agree that one of the gift cards go toward an ipod.

But definitely remind him that showers are typically given so couples can get the household essentials that they need, and that an ipod for his sole use does not really qualify as that.

Side note, if my FI said that pots and pans were “for me” I would slug him.

nycsa:shesheb: I’m trying to convince him to get a shuffle. He, of course, wants a touch.

I even had him go through itunes and make a playlist of all of the music he would put on the iPod (we have a lot of random music that we don’t listen to anymore on itunes), and all of it would fit on a shuffle. So size isn’t the issue.

FI does a little cooking, typically breakfast on the weekends. The set of pots and pans we have now are mine from college. They’re nonstick and the coating is chipping off and scratching with every use. We definitely NEED a new set, even he complains about them.

I really just want to wait until after the wedding, then I wouldn’t mind him using one of the GCs toward an iPod if there’s enough left over (which I’m sure there will be).

But he insists that he needs the iPod for the wedding because he doesn’t “trust” mine. Granted, it is 10 years old (first generation video iPod), but I’ve never had ANY problems with it. If for some reason it kicks the bucket before the wedding, then sure, he can get a new one. But we don’t need a new one just to use between sets at the wedding.

MichiganGirl24: Get an iHome! They are about $100 at BB&B and then you can download some of “his” music on your iPod and then maybe later on after the wedding he can get an iPod for himself. We use our iHome all the time and they are pretty reasonably priced.