I think it would be pretty sweet to collaborate with Will Ferrell and Adam McKay on the script for Anchorman 2 so here is one idea per day for things that can happen in the movie. So, without further (or any) ado, here are ideas for Anchorman 2: Electric The Balls-Aloo.

***Named a "Best Blog" (College Humor)***

Friday, August 29, 2008

Idea #93

Champ and Brian set up a fake beauty pageant at the news station after hours to get more attractive girls to pay attention to them. Brick agrees to be a judge with them and Ron will be Master of Ceremonies. Participants in the beauty pageant are "one of each" according to Champ: Mabel (brunette), Jackie (red), Holly (blonde), and Lupe (not white). Ron comes out in a nice tuxedo holding a microphone that is not plugged into anything.

Ron

Welcome to the Miss Lower San Diego Pageant. In our...uh...fifteenth year of operation. Let's have the ladies come out and walk around.

Mabel, Jackie, Holly, and Lupe walk around in dresses and heels.

Ron

Thank you ladies.

(beat)

While they are getting dressed, let's meet the judges.

Ron walks over to the judges at their pushed together desks.

Ron

Champ Kind who is currently single.

Champ

I am.

Brian

The very handsome Brian Fantana.

Brian

(embarrassed)

Oh, you.

Brick

And Brick Tamland...the...uh...weatherman.

Brick

(embarrassed)

Oh, you.

Ron

Ok, enough chit chat, let's get on with the show. Our first event is the Evening Gown comp-

Champ

Bathing suit!

Ron

Excuse me.

Champ

Let's start with bathing suits.

Ron

Splendid idea. Ladies? Bathing suits.

Champ

Two piece!

Ron

Two piece bathing suits. Let's go go go.

The women go back inside to change with confused looks on their faces.

Brian

That was great, Champ. Who cares about dresses?

Champ

I know. It just hit me. I was thinking, "I want to see more skin." And it popped into my head: swimsuits.

Brian

Amazing.

Ron walks over to the dressing room (Ron's office). He cracks the door, then knocks.

Ron

Are you girls almost ready?

(staring)

Nice, Holly.

Ron closes the door.

Ron

They're ready.

(beat)

Come on out, ladies! First is Mabel. She is a woman. She likes to swim, apparently. Next, we have Jackie with boobies. Then, Holly who is even better topless and finally, Lupe who is foreign.

The girls walk out in their bikinis.

Ron

And the judges will tally scores while you get ready for the talent-

Champ

No talent. I want to see Holly in Jackie's bikini, Lupe in Holly's, Jackie, in Mabel's, and Mabel in Lupe's.

Cut to the girls dressed up in the appropriate bathing suits.

Champ

Now, I want to see Jackie in Lupe's, Holly in Mabel's, Mabel in Jackie's, and Lupe in Holly's.

Lupe

But I'm in Holly's.

Champ

And you look fantastic.

Cut to the girls dressed up in the appropriate bathing suits.

Champ

Now, I want Jackie in nothing, Holly in peanut butter and jelly, Mabel in my lap, and Lupe in Holly's. You really look great in it.

Mabel

Is this a real pageant?

Ron

Twenty years running.

Holly

You said fifteen before.

Ron

Did I? Well, this pageant, in particular, is fifteen years but we've been running pageants for twenty.

Mabel

I don't think there is a Miss Lower San Diego Pageant.

Brian

What? Do you think this is some not-so-elaborate ruse to get hot, sexy women to spend an evening with us?

Mabel

Yes.

Brian

Then you as observant as you are attractive. Let's cut the bull and party. How does that sound?