Narrator: Ahhh... The Krusty Krab, Bikini Bottom's answers to fine dining and here we see patios [Patrick runs away from the back of the Krusty Krab dropping grease across his path] Ahhh... yes, Maybe not, It is the SpongeBob, creator of the frying grease, now, just watch.

Squidward: One Krabby Patty, extra grease. [SpongeBob laughs many times] All right, let's see that, The Krusty Krab work schedule, what's so great about that?

Squidward: Great...I get to see all the art of people who have succeeded where I've failed. My art will never be shown in this...[Walks into a statue resembling him] What the? This...this is my sculpture! How did it get here?

Art Critic:[Walks up to Squidward's sculpture along with a group of fish] Oh! You're just in time! Art lovers, this is Squidward Tentacles! Creator of this piece! [The group is in awe]

SpongeBob: Wow! Your work at a museum Squidward!

Squidward:[Excited] Gosh! I can't believe it! I think this might be it!

SpongeBob: Your happiest memory?

Squidward: Yeah!

Art Critic: And now the performance artist Fiasco will say a few words about this piece [camera shifts over to Fiasco]

Squidward: Gosh! Fiasco himself is talking about my art!

Fiasco: Ahem! Squid...ward...go toward...the light...[takes out a flamethrower] of my flamethrower! [burns down Squidward's sculpture and the Art Critic's group claps for him]

Squidward: And now he's melted it...[Fiasco takes away the sign "Created by Squidward Tentacles" and replaces it with "Burned by Fiasco"] Not a happiest memory...

Harold:[reaches the top] Son of a seahorse! Twenty years of training and a couple of amateurs just leap out of a balloon! Here! [gives SpongeBob his flag] You plant it! [walks back down] All that time and money and resources wasted on...

SpongeBob: Hey! We're the first to ever reach the top of Mt. Bikini! Surely that makes for a happiest memory! I claim this mountain in the name of Squidward Tentacles! [accidentally jams the flag onto Squidward's foot]

Squidward:[removes the flag from his foot and notices the mountain starting to shake] Uh oh...[the snow starts to carry him and SpongeBob down the mountain]

Squidward: Time to face facts. I'll never have a happiest memory. [opens the snow up like a door and walks out then turns to SpongeBob] And if I do, it definitely won't involve you. [closes the snow door on SpongeBob and locks it; then walks inside his house and closes the door] Hello misery...I'm home...[walks up the stairs and gets on his bed] I might as well go to bed for a hundred years or so. [lays down in bed] Wake me when I'm dead...[rolls under his bed]

Narrator: Two weeks later...

SpongeBob:[at his house] Gary, I am worried about Squidward. He hasn't come out of his house for two weeks now!

Gary:[meows]

SpongeBob:[knocks Squidward's door] Why isn't he answering? [looks through Squidward's mail slot] Squidward! Squidward! Now I'm really worried! Squidward! SQUIDWARD! [notices Squidward through the window] Gasp! Squidward! Down here! He's upstairs! [near Squidward's window will sitting on top of Gary; then knocks on the window] Hey! Hey! Squidward! [Squidward pulls the blinds down on both windows] Well at least we know that he is still alive. Uh oh...[Gary's shell falls off and SpongeBob lands on the ground; then runs into Squidward's house and Gary's shell cracks off of him] I'm okay Gary!

Gary: Meow...

[bubble transition to inside SpongeBob's house and near the phone]

SpongeBob: Squidward sure seems depressed. I think I'll call him to cheer him up! [starts calling Squidward and he picks up the phone] Hello? Squidward? Are you there? [Squidward throws his phone out his window and into SpongeBob's house] Squidward? Are you there? Squidward?

Gary: Meow?

SpongeBob: Gary? What are you doing at Squidward's? Uh Gare? Can you put Squidward on the phone? [Notices Gary trying to give him another phone and takes it] Hold on a second, someone is on the other line. [echoing] Hello? Hello!? HELLO!? [Squidward's phone breaks] Hello? [his phone then breaks]

Squidward: I just can't seem to get happy... [opens his oven and takes out burned food] Well, that didn't help...[hears ringing; then walks over to his phone] Huh? That's strange, I could have swear I just threw that darn phone away. [notices his fax machine] Oh yeah. My fax machine. Now, why did I buy that again?

SpongeBob:[emerges from the fax machine and is in paperized form] Hi Squidward! [Squidward grabs him] You sure are a hard man to get ahold of! [sniffs] Hey, do I smell brownies?

Squidward: Yes...[tosses SpongeBob into the paper shredder and picks the box up] Thanks for stopping by. [dumps SpongeBob out of his window then closes it]

Gary: Sigh...meow. [gathers up the bits of SpongeBob and puts him back together]

SpongeBob: Thanks Gary! I have to find a way to give Squidward a happiest memory. These pants may be square, but it's time to think outside the box!

Squidward:[grabs a rope] I can't seem to get happy...[swings the rope over] Maybe this will help. [pulls on the rope to reveal a scallop in a cage but it sprays unknown liquid at him and the cage falls on his face; the scallop then flies away] Nope...I guess not...[hears knocking] Oh great...I wonder who that could be...[looks through the mail slot and notices the Mailfish] You're not SpongeBob.

Mailfish: I have a package for a Squidward "Tentaclees"?

Squidward: "Tentacles". Yes that's me.

Mailfish: Well here you go. [gives Squidward the package]

Squidward: Thanks...[closes his door] Doesn't say who's it from. No doubt SpongeBob is hiding inside. Ah well, here goes nothing. [opens the package] GOTCHA! Huh? [notices it empty] It's empty. Empty, just like my miserable life! [SpongeBob emerges from the box] I see nothing but darkness ahead...[SpongeBob taps him in another box] SpongeBob!? [starts muffling as SpongeBob takes him to the Krusty Krab; SpongeBob then opens the box]

SpongeBob: Surprise! I figured out you needed a party to help cheer you up! Unfortunately, everybody I tried to invite was busy or sick but don't worry! I used my paper mache skills to fill the party with your favorite person: me! [camera zooms out to show the Krusty Krab filled with paper mache SpongeBobs] So what do you think? Happiest memory or what?

Squidward: You don't seem to understand. [starts to get angry] I...don't...WANT...A...HAPPIEST MEMORY!!! [starts to go crazy and destroys the cake]

SpongeBob:[talking to a paper mache SpongeBob] So you enjoying the d'oevuers?

Squidward:[rips the paper mache SpongeBob apart then saws more apart; then crawls to the ceiling and grabs the banner that says "Happy Happiest Memory Squidward" and kicks more of them away] I feel WONDERFUL! [Laughs Maniacally and destroys more paper mache SpongeBobs] This is It!, My happiest memory!