Tag Archives: election 2016

This morning, I woke up with hope in my heart, for the first time since November 9, 2016. What a difference a year makes.

In 2017, a transgender woman beat the incumbent conservative who introduced the anti-trans bathroom-bill in Virginia. And she did it by running on a platform of traffic reduction. The boyfriend of a victim of gun violence beat the delegate with an “A” rating from the NRA. A civil rights attorney who sued the police department on behalf of Black Lives Matter became a prosecutor in Pennsylvania.

I know there is still a huge fight ahead, but I’m ready. My exhaustion and depression are slightly subsiding.

This was my status on November 9th last year. How did I know I was REALLY going to need those stretchy pants? (The “Trump Ten”, it’s a real thing friends.)

So yes, I have had my fair share of ice cream in the past year. Also, wine, cheese, bread, and even the occasional sheet cake – eaten with a fork straight from the box.

There was a trending meme on Twitter yesterday – photos of how we feel pre- and post-election. I couldn’t decide which of these was more me. Depending upon the day, I feel each of these:

Sometimes, I feel ready to fight all day every day, and other days I want to drink wine and hide from the world. Some days, I feel both in the same day, or even the same hour.

For a more accurate representation, here are actual photos of me, pre- and post-election:

*Actual unretouched photos from 11/8/16 and 11/8/17 (Scary, I know)

I think you can see, the year has taken a toll. I swear I’ve aged ten years since November 9, 2016. Every single day since the election, I feel that I must do battle to protect our democracy. Because every SINGLE day, the administration does something to dismantle it.

Often times, I feel like I’m living in a weird dystopian novel…and I just want it to end.

Many say that taking to social media to talk about politics is a waste of time, but I disagree. I can’t tell you how many times people have reached out to me in the last year via text, email, phone – or even pulled me aside at a party. The conversation usually begins with them saying “I feel like I’m going crazy and I need someone to talk to. I know it’s safe to talk to you.”

There are a lot of people out there struggling and hurting during this presidency – people who you may not even imagine, because they keep their political views under wraps. If I can be a sounding board, I hope that it takes some of the daily burden of living in the post-Trump era off of them. More than that, I hope to encourage people to channel their frustration into action, and be more involved in our political process.

Granted, I have lost friends because of my political activism and transparency. But those who do not like me – because I am outspoken about preserving our democracy, protecting our children from gun violence, and standing up for those most vulnerable in our society – are not really people whose opinions matter much to me.

And I’m not just sitting here on my computer all day, lamenting the downfall of our democracy on social media. I have seriously increased my political activism. I have always been politically active, kept up on the news, and voted (in every election since 1992). In the past year, I’ve taken it to a new level – participating in multiple protests, joining political organizations, contacting my representatives on issues weekly, volunteering to register voters and signing up to be a poll worker in 2018.

The increase in political awareness and social activism across this country is the big upside of the past election. The more women, people of color, and LGBTQ folks that are involved in politics – either by running, contacting representatives, and most importantly, VOTING – the better the future of our country will be.

The election results of 2017 show that this is already happening. I am optimistic about the future now – one where we work together for the common good. My hope is we reject divisive politics and focus on actual issues and solutions (like health care, and infrastructure, and climate change) – instead of arguing about who stood or knelt, or prayed or didn’t, or said Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays.

I know this past year has been rough friends, but I hope that you are feeling better too. I hope you feel energized to take action. I hope you will join me in putting down the bowl of ice cream and getting to work. The 2018 election will be here before we know it.

I’ve been lying low for the past few weeks, both with personal social obligations and social media. I really tried after the election to return to every day life, but try as I might, it just wouldn’t stick.

The light-hearted posts on social media feel hollow and discussion about the weather in every day life, meaningless. It all feels totally inauthentic for me right now.

I made a conscious effort a couple of years ago, to extract “political me”, from “every other part of me”. In an effort to maintain good relations with friends and relatives, and to stop debating with the same Facebook friends over and over again, I contained my political posts to my OC Green Mama Facebook page – taking them off my personal page entirely.

As a result, I haven’t spent much of any time on Facebook, except to check in with a few news sources and share interesting article on my Blog page. Because I almost can not think or talk about much of anything else but this horrible election. I even dream about it – EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. There is literally no escape.

As I mentioned in my last post, this election has changed me profoundly. I can’t seem to describe it as well in written words as I can verbally, so I made a quick video to try to communicate how I’m feeling.

Okay, so it wasn’t as quick as I thought. 😉 Looks like I have quite a bit to say. Even if no one watches, it felt good to get it out there.

If you are struggling too, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below, email me, Tweet me, or leave me a Facebook comment or message. We need to listen to and support each other – now more than ever.

Friends, I am grieving. And I need a little time. Please do not say that I am exaggerating or need to stop my liberal, poor-loser whining. I know what grieving feels like. I have survived the death of loved ones, 9/11, the loss of a business I was passionate about, and almost lost a marriage. I know what pain is. I have been to quite a bit of therapy. I am well aware of the stages of the grieving process.

Many of us are going through this. If you are too, I recommend this article on post-election grief over at the Huffington Post.

Please do not tell us to just get over it (we can’t), stop our complaining (we won’t), or hope for the best (we don’t). I for one, am pretty low on hope right now. I believe that some of us may get there eventually, but we need time. I’ve moved through shock and anger, and am on to depression. I’m making progress. Yay!

One of the most painful things to me as a mom, was watching the reaction of my kids. My daughter cried herself to sleep on election night while my son was completely shut down and silent. He didn’t need to say anything. I could see the despair in his eyes. I am doing everything I can to support them, give them perspective and hope, and ease their fears – while at the same time, downplaying my own feelings for their sake.

This is not about party or politics. This is about who we are as a country, what we stand for, and the leadership that we show the world. I read a New York Times article this morning, and this quote by its author, Charles M. Blow, sums up my feelings perfectly –

“It is hard to know specifically how to position yourself in a country that can elect a man with such staggering ineptitude and open animus. It makes you doubt whatever faith you had in the country itself.”

Right now, I feel lost, unsafe, and scared. And I’m a white woman in suburban Orange County. I can’t even imagine how African Americans, Latinos, Muslims, LGBTQs, immigrants and people with disabilities are feeling.

“We all knew these hatreds lurked under the thinnest veneer of civility. That civility finally is gone. In its absence, we may realize just how imperative that politesse was. It is the way we managed to coexist.”

So as much as I want to curl up in the fetal position and drink Cabernet until the pain goes away, I can not. Not for me, not for my children, and not for all of those who are vulnerable and have been marginalized and demonized by the President-elect.

After we move through the stages of grief, exercise some self-care, bury our feelings in too many bowls of ice cream, and hug our families, we have got to take action. It’s time to step it up friends.

This election has changed me. Scarred me permanently. But it has also woken me up to how much work we still have to do in this country. I am now and will forever be an activist – not the previous activist that I thought I was – volunteer-for-some-causes, donate-money-to-some-charities, and try-to-influence-a-few-friends type of activist. Rather I am becoming a no-holds-barred, I-will-shout-from-the-rooftops, I-don’t-care-if-I-lose-friends activist. F*ck this shit! This. Must. Stop.

Here are some of the things I plan to do for now. I hope some of you will consider joining me:

Continue to foster a home environment that promotes tolerance, acceptance, understanding and love. I would rather that my children grow up to be kind, than get in to Harvard or make a bunch of money. In our home, we will talk more about our shared values, and how we can love and accept and reach out to those who are not like us. This is a good article to discuss at the post-election dinner table – “What Do We Tell The Children“.

Volunteer in my local community to support causes that matter to me. Not volunteer just around the holidays or when it is convenient. I will find a cause and devote time to it – weekly.

Speak out whenever I see (either in person or online) racism, bigotry, misogyny, or hate against any individual or group of people. I believe that now, we must radiate goodness and kindness from the bottom up. I do not see that it will be modeled at the top anytime soon. We must be the change. Now more than ever.

Read and reread, and read again this article from Mother Jones, “Don’t Mourn, Fight Like Hell“. From this piece – “Trump appealed to America’s worst impulses. Now it’s on the rest of us to show, to prove, that this is not all that America is. This is a time when we’re called on to do things we may not have done before. To face down bigotry and hate, and to reach beyond our Facebook feeds in trying to do so.”

Seek to understand those who feel differently and think differently. I am trying, like really trying. It is hard. I’m not going to lie. But in the end, I strive to understand the pain, the hopelessness, the anger – that makes someone support this man. I will not shame them. I will seek to find common ground. Even if they don’t do the same in return. It’s the only way to get through and out of this mess. This piece was helpful for me, “Stop Shaming Trump Supporters“.

Volunteer and donate to environmental causes. The earth (and all of those who live here) is going to need all the help she can get fighting a president who believes climate change is a “hoax”. I recommend the 350.org, the National Resources Defense Council and the Sierra Club for a start.

Let this election enrage but also motivate us. That is the one and only silver lining I can find.

Let’s do more, fight harder, be louder, and be the change. Most importantly, let us spread love and light and tolerance to all people who we touch. We can be the change. Now more than ever, we must be the difference. It is the only chance we have. I hope you will join me.

So for now, we love, love, and love some more. Not a weak and passive love. A love that is strong – that can move mountains. A love that stands up for Americans – all Americans. In my heart, I truly believe … we are stronger together.