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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Welp... It's that time of year again. Time for the company I work for (and I'm pretty certain I'm not alone here) to change insurance company's again. I get it, I do; I'd much rather HR work their asses off to find an insurance that will offer us a lower deductible than to just stick it out with the same ole same ole but holy headache!

Today's meeting was 2 hours. And I'm still confused.

In the past, we were only offered a PPO health insurance. This time, they're offering an HMO. And while I said I would never go the HMO route again... they sure did entice me. We'll see what the old man has to say about it but I've already checked and both my Primary Care doctor as well as that ever loving OBGYN are in-network -- whether I go the HMO or PPO route. I dunno. It just seems like if I have a doctor in the HMO, I'm going to save a shitload of money. And lord knows if this year is anything like the past two years, I'm gonna need all the money I can save.

After the two hour meeting, one of my coworkers asked me what I thought: "Are you happy about the new insurance," she shrieked. I looked up from the work that has been piling on my desk all week. "Well it doesn't really matter for you," she continued, "since it's just you and Stephen. You can continue to get the single insurance and not pay."

I glared at her as the diarrhea about her daughter and her this and her husband and her that ran from her mouth.

She didn't get it... the diarrhea ran from her mouth and down her little business suit and formed a puddle below her ugly brown 1985 pumps. I just looked at her and she started to sound like a Charlie Brown character, Wah Wah Wah-Wah-Wah.

"Have a good evening," I finally spat as I typed something on a spreadsheet, turning my attention back toward the computer monitor.

It's been six months, I told myself. To her it's all over with. She probably doesn't even remember. And if she does remember, it's just not a big enough deal to her when she's got her two precious kids to worry about.

That reminds me... Stephen asked me if I was "Bitter much?!" the other day whilst looking for knitting supplies (yeah we've taken up a new hobby) after I mentioned I wanted to learn how to knit adorable baby stuff for everyone else's babies since we don't have one yet.

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comments:

You know what, you are entitled. Being bitter sometimes is natural. I know I definitely have it somedays. Here's hoping you get to be less bitter soon and others can be jealous and bitter of you! ha ha.

A pair of shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.They are ugly shoes.Uncomfortable shoes.I hate my shoes.Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.Yet, I continue to wear them.I get funny looks wearing these shoes.They are looks of sympathy.I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.They never talk about my shoes.To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.There are many pairs in this world.Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.No woman deserves to wear these shoes.Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.They have made me who I am.I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

~Author unknown

About Me

I'm a 30+ year old wife to my best friend, my rock. I'm an aunt to 3 nephews, 2 nieces and great-aunt to 1 great-niece. I've known for a good 10+ years that being a Mom was something I need to do in my life - and after 7 months of trying to conceive, received my BFP on 7/3/08. Unfortunately, after 4 weeks of falling more and more in love with baby, I suffered a missed miscarriage and had to endure a D&C on 7/30/08. This is my journey toward ending the "About Me" and beginning the "About Baby" stage in life.