Andy starts right off with Teresa’s claims in court that the show is fake. “In court papers you claim that The Real Housewives of New Jersey is scripted. ‘It is little more than a work of fiction engineered by Bravo TV through scripted lines and clever editing.’ What did you mean by that?” Teresa responds, “Meaning that there are editors on the show and our producers”, Andy cuts her off “were you told to flip the table?” Teresa says “no flipping the table I did.” Andy asks if she was told to fight with Melissa or Joe Gorga. “My family coming on the show, you know Andy, I didn’t know they were coming on the show.” Andy says “you didn’t want them on the show,” Teresa jumps in “not that I didn’t want them on the show, they never told me they were coming on the show.” Andy tries to end it with “we’ve had this discussion many times, ya ya ya.” Teresa says “When my family came on, I didn’t like the way I was portrayed. I was the villain, I was this mean person. People would come up to me and they’re like ‘oh my God you’re so nice’ and I’m like ‘what do you mean?’ and they’re like ‘you come off so mean on the show.”

Teresa Giudice and Joe Giudice spoke out for the first time since their prison sentences were handed down on Thursday. The Real Housewives of New Jersey stars sat down with Andy Cohen for a special edition of Watch What Happens Live. And let me summarize it for you: Teresa thinks she’s a victim in this, y’all! A VICTIM. Nope, she hasn’t learned a single lesson.

Andy opens the show trying to keep the twinkle out of his eye recapping the Giudices’ federal prison sentences: Joe will sit for 41 months and Teresa for 15 months. He says that he wishes he were seeing them under happier circumstances and the mood is grim, as expected. Andy starts off asking how they’re doing. Teresa says she feels like she’s numb and things feel surreal. “All I keep thinking about is my daughters.”

Before she stopped by Watch What Happens Live, LuAnn was in The Village earlier in the night and shared with Andy that her co-stars were less than gracious. “Tonight we were at the Arts Club down in the village and they were at this party and I was told that they wanted to sit at another table rather than be at the same table with me. Love it, that’s fine. It’s cool. ” LuAnn laughed the whole thing off, naturally.

Andy asked, “did Ramona play dumb when she saw you?” LuAnn replied sarcastically “No, she is always soo very nice.” She added, “She tried to organize a little bit before. You know how shifty Ramona is. She is very shifty.”

Last night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live was slipped in on the end of the new Real Housewives of New Jersey episode – the one we all thought would be 90 minutes. Annoying. But anyway! Jacqueline Laurita was on along with Rita Wilson and it was a pretty low-key episode. Jacqueline shared some updates on Nick and says he’s doing good and progressing well. The only thing Jacs shared about the show in general was her friendship status with Teresa Giudice.

When Andy asked Jacs how she felt hearing/seeing Teresa saying that she could no longer trust her, she replied, “It wasn’t a surprise because I think I figured it out after we were done taping and we didn’t hang out afterwards. We both had agreed in Arizona that we were going to put our difference aside and we had a choice to either move on with the friendship or we leave it as acquaintances or whatever. We made a pact that we were going to move forward in the friendship and rebuild that and I kept my end and she didn’t.”

I’ve always loved Joan. I heard an NPR interview with her years ago where she described using humor and wit to pull herself up by her bootstraps after her husband’s suicide left her financially decimated and alone. It not only inspired me, it filled me with awe and had me bawling in the car. Joan never shied away from the truth – whether it was about herself or others. And it was that bravery that made her so beloved.

It’s women like Joan who have allowed me to do what I do today: have a job where I snark full-time to make people laugh, because she was one of the few who forged that path by demonstrating that women are irreverent, sarcastic, and that complaining can be therapeutic as well as entertaining. The Oscars will be sadder this year without Joan to question what celebs are wearing and what they were thinking when they put it on. I will miss her greatly.

Andy Cohen, a close friend of Joan’s who has worked with her for years, reminisced about the amazing woman he knew and shared that when she passed they were in the middle of pitching a reality show they developed together this summer.

Amber defends her husband Jim Marchese from Dina Manzo saying on tonight’s episode that his level of douche was equivalent to the size of a whale’s vagina. “I don’t think she knows my husband well enough. She never gave him the chance or the time of day. When you know him, you love him.”

Co-guest David Arquette remarks that the way Jim was talking down to the ladies wasn’t cool. Amber says “you have to understand I was just attacked downstairs and we come upstairs and they’re like all trying to come at him.”

David then tells her that Jim’s talking head interview where he spews about being a lawyer and will sue and take people down, blah blah, “also not a good look,” he says. I love David Arquette. But then he adds “he seems like a sweet enough guy but..” and Amber jumps in with “but watch out, he’ll sue you.” Awkward. She seems to be the only one who finds it funny.

Joe and Melissa Gorga were in Andy’s clubhouse to dish on tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.Joe and Melissa answered questions about everything from how much money they really put out for their new garbage company, whether they’re building that dream home yet and when we can expect a new Melissa Gorga album!

Melissa on who she thinks was at fault in the fight between Amber Marchese and the twins: “I feel like Amber came in very strong, but I know Nicole pulled the first hair. I feel like they both equally… I don’t think anyone should put their hands on anyone, that I will say.”

On the new house, the Gorgas say they just started building the new one. And Melissa wanted to make it clear that she does like the rental house they’re in. Interesting since she says she’s moving back to Montville..