Q: What do you call a donkey that was born in New Zealand, grew up in Australia, got a snorter first ball in his first Test but survived and went on to make 88 off 70 balls?

A: A Ronchi

It’s probably not the greatest joke, but that’s not what donkey jokes are about. Donkey jokes are about thinking of words that end in ‘-key’ and then setting that punchline up in painfully long-winded fashion.

What else?

Mark Wood bowled a ball to die for, cementing our love for him. He looks like a man who has spent his entire life perfecting his craft and as such he has been given the reward of six Test wickets.

James Anderson has taken 401 Test wickets.

What else on top of that?

We still have no idea what’s happening in this Test series and it’s a delightful sensation. Win or lose, New Zealand make matches worth watching. They never coast. The game always moves forwards.

We only hope some of this has rubbed off on England. It certainly feels infectious, but then England possess quite a hardy immune system, so who knows.

Is that it?

If you see the Cricinfo headline ‘Transformer blast near Gaddafi stadium,’ it isn’t worth clicking. It’s a massive disappointment being as it features neither Autobots nor Decepticons.

Nor is this the first time that a Transformer’s ruined a cricket match. Not even close.

Holy Shit. I just had one of those awkward moments on the bus when I was trying not to lose my Shit completely, and ended up just snorting and pretending to cough while other passengers quietly check for the nearest exit. brutally hilarious.

The thing with Ronchi is that he has the key bit, but also the preceding on as well. Rob Key doesn’t quite rhyme sufficiently. It’s a shame there isn’t a player whose name both ended and started with those three letters, and who had such an enormous butt and huge gut that he weighed somewhere in the region of TWO TON.