What Prayer Means To This Soul

Prayer is an amazing thing. First thing’s first, I’m not a religious man. After a series of events in life, I decided that I will never pray for myself again. I felt that no matter what happened in life, no matter how much you prayed, it was going to happen anyway. All of the negativity, the violence, the injustice, personal life crap, no matter how much I prayed, I realized it was only going to continue to happen as if I didn’t pray at all.

When I first stopped praying for myself, I’ll admit, that it was out of selfishness and resentment; I was tired of being let down. As I started to internalize this, I realized how selfish I was being; who the hell am I to think the Creator is just going to stop working life and the universe just soothe my problems, my bitching and my complaints? My goodness, what a victim. This was when I began to realize that the Creator’s purpose is not to answer my prayers the way that I want him to and cater to me, but to keep the energy and the flow of life going. I can either contribute positive energy and flow into the world or wallow in pity and let the negative energy of the world consume me rather than BE the positive, the light, that I was praying for.
For this reason, I never pray for myself. I only pray for others.

Life is about energy, not personal needs.

At the times you need something, anything, during times of stress or despair, is when the Spirit seems to lift you. Someone sending prayers your way, no matter your spirituality, sends such good vibes and energy towards you; it reassures you that you aren’t alone and that other souls care. Even when you’ve given up, the Spirit speaks to you through the prayer of others.

No matter what my situation is, no matter how much danger I’m in, distress, or if I’m just being selfish and wanting something I don’t need, I never pray for it. Ever. If I want it, I’ll plan, envision, then get my ass out there and get it rather than praying for it, then point bitterness towards the wrong entities when I don’t get my way. That’s not how the Creator operates. If I’m in a stressful or dangerous situation, I know that others are always praying for me, so there’s no need to ask for it. FAITH I do believe that is called.

The more I internalized my prayer and made it about me, no matter if I needed it or not, the more selfish I realized that was. When that prayer is received from others, sent outwardly, it carries a different meaning. It’s your Spirit, no matter what you may believe, giving you what you need. When that prayer comes in abundance or at the most unexpected times, when you needed it most, it shows you that you are not alone in your struggles in life. I’m not a religious man, but prayer takes on a whole new meaning to me.