Warning: This poem contains some intense topics. Highlight to read the warnings, some of which are spoilers. It introduces Side-eye, a member of Ricasso's gang who has some odd neurological problems due to prenatal drug exposure. Diminished sensation leads to sensory-seeking behavior, some of it self-destructive. The poem features recovery from past injuries, requests for assistance with consensual pain, a little nervousness at trying new things, power exchange, fumbling around with new superpowers that are sometimes confusing, references to personal health, awkward conversations, physical and emotional spotting, unintended food roulette, spicy food as a kink material, hand feeding, consensual experimentation with superpowers, aftercare, and other challenges. Although not quite fluff, the overall tone is positive. If these are sensitive areas for you, please consider your tastes and headspace before reading onward.

"No Feeling of Being Alive"

In the morning, Gray went to the gymand worked through the short set of exercises that Thriver recommended.

There were elbow bends, wrist bends,and forearm rotations. Thriver had alsostuck a note reading, Take a hike! onto the treadmill and another that said, Don't even think about it,on the weightlifting equipment.

Gray soon discovered even that much wore him out quickly.Thriver had warned him to pushonly as far as discomfort, not pain.Gray felt grateful for the excuse to quit and go see Ricasso instead.

Okay, this was serious. Gray triednot to worry as he rolled a spare chairinto position as indicated.

"You're not in trouble, quite the opposite,"Ricasso said. "I'd like your help with something."

"I'm all yours, boss," Gray said instantly.The list of things he wouldn't do for Ricassowas pretty short, and he was sure that his boss wouldn't ask for those.

"One of my boys whom you haven't met yet has an issue that requires very careful handling," said Ricasso. "Side-eye tends to lose touch with himself and the world around him."

"Okay, what does that have to dowith me?" Gray wondered.

"He needs a certain amount of pain in his life, to help keep his focus, or he starts picking fights and finding accidents to get into," Ricasso said. "I've been helping him with that as best I can, but it's a tricky balance between causing him enough pain without doing any permanent damage."

"You want me to play with him?" Gray asked."I dunno, boss, I love kink but I'm just startingto get the hang of it now. I'm not sure I know enough yet to fly someone like that safely."

"You don't. It wouldn't be safe for you to top him alone," Ricasso agreed. "Side-eye goes down very easily, so I'll need to stick close anyway. I'm asking you to spar with him instead of just topping. You have plenty of experience with that. I'm confident that you can make this work, if you're willing to help."

"Why me?" Gray wondered.

"Because you understand giving and receiving pain. Because your power hurtsbut it doesn't harm. Because I know thatyou're ready," Ricasso said. "This isn't a new idea, Gray, I've been wanting to ask you for a while now. I waited because earlier, kink would have been your best approach, but now you have whole new options to explore. You cantest your power with Side-eye and not spook him."

That sounded exciting, and a little scary.Gray wanted to learn more about his new ability,but he hated hurting people by accident. At least this way, though, he'd be working with someone who wanted -- needed -- to get hurt.

Gray took a deep breath and let it out slowly."Okay," he said. "I'll do it. If you say that I'm ready, then I trust you to know it."

That didn't stop Gray from fretting overthe next several days while Ricasso arranged a time they could all meet,because Ricasso wanted himself and Thriver available as spotters.

It also gave Gray more timeto recover his strength and mobility.He wasn't all the way back to normalyet, but he was getting close.

When Side-eye finally arrived,Ricasso made the introductions, and Gray got his first good look at the young man.

Something about his body language plucked at Gray's attention. Side-eye leaned against the wall,easy and open. He didn't cross his legs or evenreach his arms across the front of his body.

Gray realized that he was silently signaling, Hit me.That was, of course, the object of today's meeting but the sheer scope of vulnerability threw him off balance -- especially since Side-eye was actually an enforcer and good at his job.

Curious for more input, Gray made the mental twist that would show him the hidden lace of nerves.

What he sensed horrified him.

The intricate pattern snagged and snarled,as if something had pulled some of the strandsout of alignment and torn others altogether, so that the whole design was tangled. It was dimmer, too, than what Gray had come to expect from another soup.

"Holy crap, what happened to you?!"Gray blurted, then clapped a hand over his mouth in horror. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that out loud. It's just new, what I can sense, and you look -- um. Different."

"My mother did drugs when she waspregnant with me," Side-eye said quietly."So I'm pretty messed up."

"Then you think some of the damageis neurological?" Ricasso said to Gray.

"I don't know," Gray said,throwing up his hands. "I don'tknow what I'm seeing or feeling here. I mean, I can see it, but I can'treally understand it."

"Yet," Ricasso added. "You'll learn.In the meantime, maybe we canfigure out how to use what you already see to help Side-eye."

"I'm not a real doctor," Gray protested.

"No, but you've been studying anatomywith me for its applications to kink, and Thriver says you've been reading some of his first aid materials," Ricasso replied.

"I was bored," Gray said. "I was stuck in bed and then on light duty and I really needed something to dobefore my cooking class started."

"Bored people read anything with words on it, Gray, they don't doall the self-tests," Ricasso said.

"They don't?" Gray said. "But thenhow do they learn anything?"

"Mostly trial and error," said Ricasso."Anyway, my point is that you know moreabout nerves than you probably realize yet,and it would be helpful for you to study further."

"I like the sound of that," Gray agreed.

"Will you still spar with me?" Side-eye asked, giving Graya look from the corner of his eye.

"Of course," Gray said. "I won'tback out just because you startled me."

Given the disparity in their powers -- Illusion was no match for Pain Ray -- Gray figured he could win, especiallysince Side-eye wanted to be hurt.

"Let's take this to the gym," said Ricasso.

The gym actually consisted of several areas that members of the gang could use for different types of physical activity.The sparring section had thin, firm matson the floor and dummy weapons inbuckets or cabinets along the wall.

Thriver had a load of the foam projectilesmade to look like rocks and bricks, whichthey used for throwing and dodging practice.He waved as they approached, then bent down to distribute more of the objects around the floor where they could be snatched up by combatants during a bout.

"There's one more thing that you needto know about Side-eye before we begin," Ricasso told Gray. "He doesn't have much in the way of brakes, because he can't always feel things clearly, so don't rely on him to tell you if he's hurting or tired.He gets so caught up in the sensationsthat he may not realize it's going too far."

Gray shivered a little, trying to imaginewhat it must be like with emotions muffledto the point of having no joy or fear or grief, no sense of injury, no feeling of being alive.

He turned to Side-eye. "Are you tryingto work on recognizing your boundaries,or not there yet?" he asked.

"Trying, but I suck at it," said Side-eye."I just like to go really rough, and not everyone is into that, except forserious fights. You don't have to fuss over me. I hate it when people do that.I can take care of myself just fine."

Ricasso shook his head. "Not by half."

Something sparked in Gray's mind."I have an idea," he said.

"Let's hear it," Ricasso said.

"As long as you can keep your feet, we'll play it your way," Gray told Side-eye. "But if you go down for a count of three,you're done sparring for the day, and you have to let us take care of you."

Side-eye twitched. It took hima long, careful minute of considerationbefore he said, "I can live with it."

"Ricasso and I are spotting for you,"said Thriver. "Use superpowers or soft projectiles only today, no hitting.Scoring is three touches per round."

"But my gift doesn't make contact,"Side-eye said. "How's that fair?"

"If Gray ducks your superpower, then you get a point," Ricasso declared.

Side-eye and Gray looked at each other,then both of them said, "Agreed."

Gray and Side-eye went into one of several circles marked on the mat with tape.

"Fight!" said Ricasso.

Gray dove toward the nearest of the foam bricks. He lobbed one at Side-eye, who dodged out of the way.

Then Side-eye retaliated with a fake rock.Gray twirled to the side and evaded it.

Continuing the same motion, Gray took a swipe with his talent, only to discover that hitting a fast targetwas a lot harder than one that wasn'tactively trying to elude him.

Just then a flicker of motionswinging at his head made him drop to the floor.

"Point to Side-eye," called Ricasso.

That was Side-eye's superpower in action?

Suddenly Gray realized that this wasn't going to be as easy as he'd thought.

He concentrated harder on followingSide-eye with his gaze, and finallymanaged to connect, makingthe other man yelp.

"Point to Gray," said Ricasso."Score is one to one, and sothe next point takes the round."

It only took another minute for Side-eye to tag Gray with a foam rock.

"First round to Side-eye," said Ricasso.

"Quit pussyfooting around and hurt me," Side-eye demanded.

Gray had a better sense of his style,now, the way he moved and struck.That let him get a lock on Side-eye,putting enough power into the thrustto make him cry out in pain.

"Need a break?" Gray asked.

"Fuck you," Side-eye said,and threw a brick at his head.

Gray dodged the missile, rolled,and threw it back at Side-eye.He missed, but made the other manstumble off-balance in the process.

Side-eye flicked another illusion at him,but this time Gray recognized it.He moved into the shadow,snatched up a fake rock, and hit Side-eye with it.

Gray felt proud of winning a round,but he didn't let it throw him off track.Side-eye was still a formidable opponent.

Gray was tougher, Side-eye was stronger,but neither of those really came into playduring this kind of competition.

It was more Gray's observation pittedagainst Side-eye's greater experiencewith his superpower, since the powersthemselves were equally useful.

Sometimes when Gray managedto put a touch on Side-eye withhis superpower, he held it longerthan necessary to score a point.

Side-eye groaned in his graspbut refused to go down.

They circled around and around,trading points, sometimes one winningand sometimes the other. They actually made quite a good match on the mat.

Side-eye sent sharp-edged illusions after Gray, and Gray retaliated with a harsh jolt that made Side-eye drop to one knee.

Then Gray noticed something that gave him pause. "Yellow," he said.

"What the fuck," snapped Side-eye."I never touched you that time, and my shoulders aren't on the mat!"

"Not for me, for you," Gray explained."Hold out your hands so you can see them."Scowling, Side-eye obeyed. "There, you see how they're shaking? That's your bodysaying 'yellow,' that it's time for a break."

"If you stop now, we can have lunch,and you'll get another round afterwards,"Thriver reminded him. "Overdo it, and you're done for the day."

Side-eye grumbled but retreatedto the bench to rub himself with a towel.

Gray followed him. "Good match," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"I like your new superpower,"Side-eye said, watching him move."I want more of it."

"Lunch first," said Thriver. As soon asthey caught their breath, he ushered everyone into the kitchen.

Ricasso brought out the pocket bread,some fresh vegetables, and a pitcher of water. Thriver sliced long slivers of gyro meat off of the vertical spit on the counter. Then Gray added a big carton of plain yogurt and three different kinds of tartlets.

"Life is uncertain; eat dessert first,"Ricasso declared, and grabbed a tartlet to pop into his mouth.

"No, wait --" Gray exclaimed.

Ricasso's eyes bugged.His skin flushed crimson. He wheezed in pain.

Then he snatched the water pitcher.

Gray pried it away from him and replaced it with the yogurt. "Here, try this," he said. "Don't throw water on a grease fire."

Ricasso lifted the whole cartonand chugged half of it.

"Sorry about that," Gray said."I wasn't expecting you to snitch onebefore I had time to describe the fillings."

"We're used to you baking batches ofchocolate pastries, Gray, not filling crusts with zetetic napalm," said Ricasso.

"But I wanted to offer a range," Gray saidin a small voice. "See, these are apple-cinnamon.They're warm. Those are ginger. They're hot.Then the ones you ate are filled with pepper jellymade from Carolina reapers. They're ... well, napalm."

Dr. Carolina Fleer was an engineer by profession,but liked to breed hot peppers as a hobby.Her reapers clocked in at an impressive2,200,000 on the Scoville scale.

Beyond the heat, though, they also hada sweet fruity flavor that made splendid jelly.That was Gray's real reason for using themto make pastry filling, along with the fact thatSide-eye loved pain and Gray liked it andhot pepper pastries just seemed like fun.

"I apologize for overreaching," Ricasso said.He started to assemble a gyro for himself,then added, "And for putting my mouthon the yogurt carton. That was crude."

"I'm sorry that you didn't like the reaper sweets," Gray saidas he made his own gyro.

"I like the concept," Ricasso said."The execution may need some fine-tuning."

Side-eye made a soft snicker. "It was funnythat you didn't see it coming, though," he said.He piled food onto his plate, without bothering to compose an actual sandwich from it. "Imagine if Gray made a whole batch of jam ones, but with all different fillings. You wouldn't know if you were getting one that was warm, hot, or volcanic -- until you bit into it."

"So it would be like dessert roulette,"Gray mused, biting into his gyro. "Do you think it would work, though?Ricasso wasn't very impressed."

"I didn't know I was playing dessert roulette,"the boss pointed out. "I do like spicy food,and some people really enjoy ... surprises."

"But can you do it so they'll look similar?"Thriver said. "These are all different."He picked up a cinnamon and a ginger one,but left the reapers strictly alone.

"Sure, all I need to do is put topping on them,like a crumble crust or a meringue," said Gray."You can buy cinnamon jelly or ginger marmalade,and several different kinds of pepper jelly."

After they finished their sandwiches, Ricasso picked up one of the cinnamon tartlets and fed it to Side-eye, who took the pastryquite delicately from his fingers.

Apparently once he got warmed up,Side-eye became more receptive.

"Gray, do you want to try hand feeding?"asked Ricasso. "The tartlets are small enoughand they hold together well; they're perfect."

"Sure, that sounds like fun," said Gray.

So Ricasso demonstrated the techniques,first feeding Side-eye one of the cinnamon tartletsand then accepting a ginger one from Thriver.

Next he exchanged bites with Grayto teach him both sides of the process.

Gray liked feeding and being fed.There was an intimacy to handling foodthat resonated with something deep inside him.

"Remember that equals can feed each other,but they do it a bit differently," said Ricasso."They're more likely to help guide the foodinstead of just accepting it passively the way a submissive does from a dominant. It's all okay. Do whatever works for you and your partner."

Gray thought about that as he held out one of the cinnamon tartlets for Side-eyeto take, keeping his hand still.

Side-eye nibbled it out of his fingerswithout nipping. His eyes closed in bliss.Then he leaned forward and looked at the ginger tartlets on their tray.

"These bite back a bit," Gray saidas he picked one up. He brusheda fingertip over Side-eye's lower lipto coax him into opening his mouth,then tucked the bite inside.

Side-eye hummed in pleasureas he chewed and swallowed.His gaze went right to the reapers,and he licked his lips.

"You may have some of these,but it's going to hurt, so I'm dipping the first bite in yogurtuntil we figure out how highyour heat tolerance is," Gray warned Side-eye,suiting actions to words.

This time when Side-eye accepted the pastry, it made him flinch and whimperas he chewed.

Tears trickled down his cheeks.He was whimpering, Grayrealized, in pleasure.

The lacy network of nervesseemed a little brighter.That was probably good.

"Clean a top's fingers whenhe feeds you something drippy,"Ricasso prompted, and Side-eyecomplied by licking the smearof yogurt off Gray's hand.

"More," Side-eye begged."Please. Plain this time."

"Okay," Gray said. He used the side of his fork to cut one of the bite-sized reaper tartlets into even smaller pieces, then slipped one between Side-eye's waiting lips.

There was somethingincredibly gratifying aboutbeing able to feed him andhurt him at the same time.

Gray took a bite of reaper himself,savoring the sweet, fruity burn.

Then he picked up another pastryand said, "Want to try a whole one?"

Side-eye nodded eagerly.

This time Gray dabbed a finger in the jelly and applied it to Side-eye's lipsas if using lip gloss, which reduced himto beautiful, open-mouthed panting.

Only when that slowed down did Graycup one hand behind Side-eye's neckand feed him the rest of the tartlet.

A flare rippled through the lace of nerves,echoed in the blissful shivers that shook Side-eye's body.

"Hmm," Thriver said. "You'vebeen at this about ten minutes, andI'll swear that just triggered an endorphin rush.Have you gotten the talk about levels yet?"

"Oh yes," Gray said with a smirk."Endorphins are your friends."He picked up the next piece of pastry.

"Maybe I was wrong about you," Ricasso said,thoughtfully watching Gray feed Side-eye."You're doing a great job at this. Either I'veunderestimated your progress, or elseyou just have terrific instincts."

"I'm not actually doing much," Gray said."I'm letting Side-eye show me how farhe wants to go with the heat."

"Exactly my point," said Ricasso.

By the time they finished all the pastries -- with Side-eye getting the lion's share of the reapers -- everyone was full and content.

"Thank you," Side-eye said to Gray."It's so hard for me to feel anything.You're coming through a lot clearerthan sensations usually do."

"I'm glad I could help," Gray said, and meant it. This wasn't exactly the kind of kinking around for fun that he did himself -- it was closer to Emotional First Aid, which he wasn'treally trained for -- but it was working. That was enough to satisfy him.

Thriver made them wait half an hourfor sake of digestion, even with their superpowered metabolism.

So they talked about pastries andspicy food, feeling the burn and exercise,Thriver's knack with healthy ingredients, and one of Ricasso's latest con games that targeted a bunch of rich forks.

Side-eye was clearly still riding a buzzof endorphins when they returned to the gym.Gray made a mental note to keep a closer eyeon him as they sparred, because that woulddull his already-low sense of injury.

The second bout grew more intense than the first, now that Gray and Side-eye both knew that their superpowers wouldn't make the other man run screaming out of the room.

Gray made more contacts using his ability,and he held them longer, striving to findthe longest path of light through Side-eye'serratic nervous system. Each time, Graywaited until his opponent cried outbefore he let go of the connection.

Side-eye fought back. Once he hit Gray in the face with a sponge rock.another time he charged so close thatGray had to jump back to avoid a collision,which they weren't supposed to do today.

Next Gray tried altering the direction instead ofthe intensity, to see if he could aim pain ata particular body part. He zapped one footwith a sensation of broken glass and Side-eye limped away from him.

Then the whole room seemed to tilt.

Gray crashed to the mat, landing hard enough to knock his wind out.

"Shit shit shit, are you okay?"Side-eye said, anxious handspatting over his shoulders."I didn't think it would do that!"

"Move aside so I can check him,"Thriver said firmly, pushingSide-eye out of his way.

Side-eye sighed. "Yeah, I know," he said."It's just hard. So much relies on being able to feel what I'm doing, and I can't always.I don't want to be coddled, but then I getlike this and it just ... feels different."

"Then what about something you felt earlier?"Gray suggested. "You seemed to like my power."

"It's beautiful," Side-eye said. "I can almost see it sometimes, too, like how my own ability lets me make these dark gray shadows or flashes of light. The color of that paint the artists use for waves or clouds ..."

"Payne's grey," he said softly. "It's a favorite."

"Good name for you," Side-eye said,leaning against him.

Gray stroked him again, more firmly,thinking about how he might pet a cat and feel the static electricity crackling under his fingertips.He let just enough power seep out to nip along the surface of the skin, watching the fine hairsrise up behind it and then lie back down.

If he got it exactly right, maybe he could smooth out some of the snags in whatshould have been a lovely curtain of lace.

"Mmm, that's nice," Side-eye said as he leaned back against the wall.

"How much power are you puttinginto that?" Ricasso asked.

"Not much, just enough to light upthe nerves," said Gray. "It should feel more like a prickle than real pain."

"Side-eye? Is that working for you?"Ricasso asked, and then had to nudge him to get an actual response.

"Mmm-hmm," said Side-eye. "Don'stop."

"Okay," Gray said. He moved his hand slowly up the arm and across Side-eye's back.

"Perhaps it's not so much the pain he needs,but any sensation intense enough to feel,"Ricasso mused. "I tried a few other thingswith sensory play, early on, but none of itwas enough for him, so we stuck with pain."

"He could be learning to recognizethe input better, or maybe you simply picked the wrong kind earlier," said Gray.

"I've got an idea," Thriver said. "Let me justgrab something from the patch room.I'll be back in a few minutes."

Gray kept petting Side-eye, concentrating on how to maintainthe barest trickle of power throughhis palm and fingers, enough to tinglewithout turning so sharp as to hurt.

Side-eye let him move the near arm out from its trapped position and up into his lap. Gray didn't try to overreach by pulling it into his own space.

Ricasso helped by resting a hand on Side-eye's shoulder and leaning on him, heavy enough to feel the weight. "Here we are," he said. "You can touch us. You can feel us."

They ate slowly, regaining their strengthand appreciating the companionship.

Thriver came back with two metal tools,each of them a wheel attached to a handle,one serrated with dull bumps and the otherspoked with tiny sharp pinpoints. "These aretracing wheels," he explained. "Basically they work like Wartenberg wheels. I couldn't getthe fancy medical ones, so I grabbed these on the cheap at a craft store. They're for testing sensation to measure nerve function."

Gray vaguely remembered Thriverusing those on his hands after he'd gotten his arms broken, to make surethat all of the nerves still worked.

"I thought we already knew that Side-eye's nerves are screwy," said Gray.

"Yeah, but that's not really why I brought them out," Thriver said. "They'realso among the better known pervertables.People use these things for sensation play.Gray, let go of Side-eye for a minute.Side-eye, give me your arm andI'll show you how they work."

"Okay," Gray said as he obeyed.

Side-eye silently flopped an armfrom his lap onto the bench.

Thriver trailed one wheel andthen the other along the skin."Can you feel these?" he asked."Can you tell which one is dulland which one is sharp?"

Side-eye couldn't always trackthe dull wheel, but he could definitely feel the sharp one,and he liked the sensation.

Thriver waggled the pinwheel and said, "See, now we've got a way to give Side-eye something to feel that won't break the skin as long as we don't push too hard, and it doesn't require superpowers."

"Or just concentrates it more,"Thriver said. "Try the pinwheel, andsee if you can get it to spark justone point at a time."

Gray tried, but he had nowherenear the control required for that.It was hard enough just holdinghis focus tight enough to keepthe intensity low and the rangelocalized to a small area of skin.

If he closed his eyes, then he couldn't do it at all; he needed to see in order to aim.

He loved tormenting Side-eye with the metal devices, though.

There was no feeling of being alivequite like those pleading little whimpersteased out of someone so strong and stubborn.

It didn't take enough energy to exhaust Grayany more than he already was, it just felt nice.

Gray used the wheels and his superpoweron Side-eye, but he let Ricasso and Thriverplay along too, so that Side-eye neverknew for sure what was coming next.

They worked him over until the man turned soft as putty under their hands, lolling against the wall with a big smile.

"Let go now, so I can lay him out on the bench,"Ricasso said finally. He took hold of Side-eyeand gently helped him to stretch flat. Then the boss snapped his fingers and pointedat Gray. "Blanket." He did the same with Thriver. "Water bottles."

They brought Ricasso what he requested.By the time they returned, the boss hadfinished toweling the sweat off of Side-eye.Ricasso covered him with a blanket.Then he cracked open a bottle of waterand touched it to Side-eye's cheek.

"Yeah," Side-eye said.

Ricasso helped him sit upjust enough to drink, thenlowered him back down.

"Good enough?" Ricasso asked."Would you want to do this again?"

"Mmmyeah," Side-eye slurred."S'great. Wanna keep'm, boss."

"I'm glad to hear that," Ricasso said.

When it became clear that Side-eye was falling asleep, Ricasso scooped him upand transferred him a real bedin one of the flop rooms.

Gray watched Thriver tidying up the gym,mopping sweat off the padded floorand putting the foam projectilesback into their storage buckets.

Tired from the workout,Gray just sat on the benchwith no inclination to move.

Presently Ricasso came back.

He laid a fond hand on Gray's shoulderbut let his fingertips trail over the backof the neck. "You did a splendid job,"the boss said. "You exceeded even my high expectations. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Gray said."I'm just glad we found some thingsthat make Side-eye feel better without injuring him -- or me -- too much."

"He goes down so easily for me, but I've never seen him go so far, so fast,"Ricasso said. "It took time for us to work through enough to reach the right headspace.You made it work the first day, even thoughthe main focus fell on sparring, not kink."

"My talent makes it easier, I think, andI'm riding on your coattails," Gray said."I couldn't have done it without those."

"You're sore," Ricasso noted,gentling his touch at once."Best put you to bed too. A nap and some aspirin should fix the problem."

Thriver fetched the pills withoutany more specific command, which was a good thing, because Graywasn't sure he could've done it.

Gray gulped them down with half a bottle of water. Then he let his friends wobble him to bed.

He could shower later, when hehad enough energy to do itwithout falling over.

It was the first time thathe'd used his new superpowerso much, Gray realized, which surely justified taking a nap in the middle of the day.

As he fell asleep, he licked his lips one last time. They still tasted of ginger and satisfaction.

* * *

Notes:

Pain's Gray (Gray Agamau) -- He has fair skin, gray eyes, and ash-blond hair swept up toward the crown of his head. He's on the slim side for a fighter, but still has nicely defined muscles; they're just not overbuilt. He is heterosexual, but omnisensual, and often mistaken for homosexual. He tends to take out his temper on the homophobes when they pester him. Gray is popular among supervillains for combat support and running errands. He works for Ricasso, who sometimes loans out his services. He's prone to low blood sugar after stress or exertion, and needs to be careful to eat often enough. He is discovering a knack for making fancy pastries.Uniform: Charcoal dexflan suit piped in reflective silver, with a cape of Payne's grey capery. His utility belt contains a well-stocked first aid kit; he's known for treating both sides in a fight, and for having the best bleeding-edge equipment from friends in zetetics.Origin: Torture. He was an ordinary mook until someone decided to get information out of him the hard way. That really did not end well for them. Gray escaped, returned to his boss, explained his new talent, and got a raise.Qualities: Good (+2) BDSM Switch, Good (+2) Observant, Good (+2) Pastry Cook, Good (+2) Supervillain Henchman, Good (+2) ToughPoor (-2) Low Blood SugarPowers: Good (+2) Pain RayLimitation: This is a gaze attack that requires eye contact for maximum effect. Without that, it's only Poor (-2). It becomes combat-ineffective, merely uncomfortable, if the target is nearby but he can't see them.Motivation: "You're not as tough as you think you are."

Ricasso (Antonin Torriani) -- He has fair skin, hazel eyes, and short wavy black hair with a mustache joining a complex beard. His eyes are the shade of hazel that blends amber and green toward the outside with darker brown near the pupils. His name refers to the unsharpened part of a sword blade that allows greater precision by placing a finger over it. His father's family comes from Duno, Province Varese, Lombardia, Italy. His other heritage includes French, British, and Spanish. Antonin is first-generation American. Ricasso runs a supervillain gang, providing muscle and showmanship and other services. His preferred weapons include knives and swords, which he learned to use before gaining superpowers. As a hobby he enjoys kink and other forms of power exchange; he's a talented gentleman dom. He also likes dancing and other fashionable entertainments.Origin: He inherited a sword pendant which granted him superpowers. It was made during the French Revolution.Qualities: Expert (+4) Crime Boss, Expert (+4) Power Exchange, Good (+2) Ballroom Dancing, Good (+2) Fashion Sense, Good (+2) Lockpicking, Good (+2) Strength, Good (+2) SuavePoor (-2) Coping with CrudityPowers: Good (+2) Cutting, Good (+2) Precision, Average (0) MinionsThe Spadonari include both superpowered and ordinary gang members. Their name means "sword dancers." While they aren't as numerous as some other gangs, their quality is beginning to attract attention.

Thriver (Alec McKinney) -- He has fair skin with freckles, green eyes, and short wavy brown hair. He is slender and graceful. He can go for a long time without resting, if necessary, because of how his body stores energy. After his superpower developed, Thriver lived on the streets for a while. He earned money by selling himself, not for sex, but for the thrill of playing with superpowers. Some supervillains in particular liked the fact that he could juice them up. Ricasso met him in passing, gave him money and food more than once, and tried to convince him to go to a shelter. Thriver always refused. Then one night, Thriver gave away too much of his energy. Ricasso found him passed out on the pavement and took him home. After some coaxing the next day, Thriver agreed to stay with him, and eventually joined the gang. His job is basically taking care of the other gang members, things like food and medical care and a sympathetic ear when they're upset.Origin: His superpower manifested while he was in paramedic training, probably stimulated by the intense study. They kicked him out.Uniform: Street clothes. He often wears a black leather jacket.Qualities: Good (+2) Endurance, Good (+2) First Aid, Good (+2) Loyal, Good (+2) Soup Friends, Good (+2) Supervillain HenchmanPoor (-2) Hates to See His Friends HurtPowers: Good (+2) Energy TransferenceMotivation: Keep everyone running.

Side-eye (Itzal Nekano) -- He has light brown skin, dark brown eyes, and short black hair with a goatee. He is very muscular, with wide meaty shoulders and narrow hips. There are gang tattoos on his right shoulder, left forearm, and back. He also has a splendid sword design between his shoulderblades, done in scarification by Ricasso. Both ears are pierced, and Itzal usually wears a pair of one-carat diamond studs from his first big heist. He loves body modifications and is always looking forward to the next one. His heritage is primarily Basque, with a little Spanish and French. Ricasso rescued Side-eye from another boss who didn't understand how to handle his masochism safely. Side-eye currently works for Ricasso as an enforcer, occasionally as a thief. Side-eye's superpower isn't strong enough for him to make full-blown, believable images. Instead he uses it to play on people's instincts in ways that are very difficult to resist, such as creating shadows overhead or blurs of movement at the corner of someone's eye to make people duck in combat. Because of Side-eye's desire for intense stimulation, Ricasso manages him very carefully, trying to make sure that what Side-eye gets is satisfying without doing permanent damage. Ricasso is very picky about deploying him in combat, choosing sparring partners, or letting people play with him in the bedroom. Side-eye is struggling to gain better control of himself, so he appreciates the support, and relies on his fellow gang members to help identify when he's sliding out of touch with reality. He has a submissive streak, too, but no real brakes, so that also limits his opportunities for safe play. Ricasso matches him with Gray, because Gray's power causes pain without injury, and that works great.Origin: His mother did drugs while pregnant. Itzal was born with frail health as a result, and his illusion powers grew in slowly later in childhood. He learned to use diet and exercise to improve his health, which inspired him to try things like bodybuilding and boxing. He fell in with gangs, where he figured out how to use his superpower for combat. But he still suffers from some other aftereffects of the drugs such as depersonalization, derealization, and alexithymia. That has left him with strong masochistic inclinations; he resorts to picking fights, getting into accidents, or as a last resort self-injury in attempt to feel something.Uniform: Street clothes.Qualities: Expert (+4) Strength, Good (+2) Enforcer, Good (+2) Eye for Jewelry, Good (+2) Reading Body Language, Good (+2) ThiefPoor (-2) Mother Was a JunkiePowers: Average (0) Illusion PowersMotivation: To feel something.

* * *

"In the social jungle of human existence, there is no feeling of being alive without a sense of identity."-- Erik Erikson

This is Ricasso's larger office building. See the floor plan. Office 6 beside Reception is the boss' office. Office 7 next to that is the general office. In the back, office 3 beside the Dottie's potty is the patch room. Offices 1, 2, 4, and 5 are flop rooms. The fitness room reaches from the left side of the reception area to the back row of offices. The end toward reception has mats and assorted punching bags. The end toward the offices has free weights, weightlifting benches, and various other exercise equipment. Office 2 is a flop room with five single beds, two along the left wall and three along the right.

Office 6 is Ricasso's private office. Ricasso's executive desk is a modular assembly. It is put together with the hutch along the wall and the other section of the desk extending at right angle to create a barrier between Ricasso and the two doors of the room. He has a brown leather executive chair to go with the desk. This secretary desk rests against the wall opposite the hutch. Together they bracket the more private part of the room, dividing it from the more public space near the door. This desk has a matching wooden chair. Ricasso has a hide-a-bed couch in his office, brown leather studded with brass tacks. Nobody else uses it but him, although he has been known to put someone on it. This rests along the wall behind the boundary marked by the desks.

Gyros consist of meat stuffed into a pita pocket. Minced pressed meat is roasted on a rotisserie and then shaved off. Ricasso's gang keeps a gyro rotisserie in their kitchen as a way of having hot food readily available for people with super appetites. You can buy or make gyro meat.

To neutralize spicy foods, use dairy products such as yogurt or try bread. Water only spreads the fire! People can adapt to spicy foods over time. And if your cook is a sadomasochist, don't snitch food before you know what's in it. Many kinkyfolk also enjoy "food that commands respect."

Hand feeding, like other forms of food-sharing and food play, conveys intimacy. In kink, a dominant usually feeds a submissive. It also happens in vanilla romance. Getting food into someone else's mouth is a little tricky; this skill benefits from both research and practice. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a dom willing to give lessons! (That's a classical form lesson, by the way, teaching the submissive role before the dominant one, which is absolutely a great idea if you are switchy enough to handle both.) It helps to look at instructions for feeding a baby. Comfort feeding of elders may be done in several ways.

Temperature play is a type of kink done with heat and/or cold. Chemical play is when similar sensations are created with substances. In this case, feeding people hot pepper tartlets is a type of chemical play, and putting that stuff on mucous membranes such as lips will burn like ever-loving fuck. Safety is especially crucial in these types of recreation.

A good safety tip is to wait a while after eating before any vigorous activity. Depending on the size and type of meal, and your personal metabolism, this may range from half an hour to several hours. For soups with a high-burn metabolism, half an hour is usually plenty.

Hands convey many messages in body language. Sitting on hands is a gesture of self-restraint.

I had a friend once who grew habeneros in his side-yard. He would take them to our favourite pizza place and tell them "here, put these on my pizza." The heavy-duty nitrile gloves would come out....

... and once he *got* the finished pie, out of his pocket would come the hot sauce, because, well, after roasting, the pepper was no longer hot enough for him... *sigh* that man was damn near indestructible.

You haven't done a Scene like that in some time. ....... I miss it. Thank you.

Gray's PT sounds awfully familiar. And, yes, it takes it out of you.... the first week, just extending/flexing the arm and rotating it and moving the hand were *exhausting*. But I damn well did it, and now - ironically - riding is the one place I don't notice the remaining twinges of the injury *at all*.

LOL yes, people who are into picante food tend to have a quirky sense of linguistic humor.

>> I had a friend once who grew habeneros in his side-yard. He would take them to our favourite pizza place and tell them "here, put these on my pizza." The heavy-duty nitrile gloves would come out.... <<

:D I've known several folks with a high heat tolerance.

>> ... and once he *got* the finished pie, out of his pocket would come the hot sauce, because, well, after roasting, the pepper was no longer hot enough for him... *sigh* that man was damn near indestructible. <<

LOL yes.

>> You haven't done a Scene like that in some time. ....... I miss it. Thank you. <<

All three of the Gray poems recently sponsored have substantial kink in them. You can ask for more during any relevant prompt call.

>> Gray's PT sounds awfully familiar. <<

Yay! I did some research until I found exercises that seemed sane and effective.

>> And, yes, it takes it out of you.... the first week, just extending/flexing the arm and rotating it and moving the hand were *exhausting*. But I damn well did it, and now - ironically - riding is the one place I don't notice the remaining twinges of the injury *at all*. <<

It's probably the vibration. That can override pain signals. There are exercise balls made for this purpose:

>> *cackle* That would do it. I cannot handle that level of hot pepper, but quite enjoy ginger jam and less napalm-y sweet-hot peppers. This game sounds delicious and just the right level of dangerous. <<

:D For best effect, the "hot" level should be just a smidge beyond the players' comfort level, not the eye-bugging panic that Ricasso experienced. Naturally this depends on how much heat the players normally enjoy. Many folks would play with jalapeno jelly.

However, a lot of sadomasochists enjoy picante food. It's quite common for someone to take hot sauce or horseradish to a munch for sharing. While they may enjoy the flavor like any other hot-food mavens, kinky folks are specifically looking for the pain and the subsequent endorphin rush. They're not just looking for "food that commands respect" but for food that drags your respect into a dungeon and flogs it up against a wall. Given Ricasso's accurate observation that some people love surprises, a three-step dessert roulette would probably be quite popular. Just make sure folks understand what they're getting into. And that you're going to hear a lot of cumshot jokes if you hide the filling under meringue.

>> The links on this one were an excellent ladder back out of the poem and into a more ordinary headspace. Thanks. <<

\o/ That's what I was aiming for. Food is grounding. I try to end the links on a high note, and that's especially important in a poem like this. Detailed descriptions of kink can really pull people in. I want to make sure everyone gets back to everyday levels of consciousness. So thanks for the vote of confidence.

>> They're not just looking for "food that commands respect" but for food that drags your respect into a dungeon and flogs it up against a wall. <<

LOL. <<

Yeah, if you ever want to have fun, watch a bunch of happy perverts playing in a pepper store. They'll eat stuff that leaves ordinary shoppers in tears, and then say "Nice burn. I'll take two jars, one for me and one for the munch." And the clerks are all, "What just happened?" :D

HA ha ha ha ha. Those are such familiar feelings! Reading for the heck of it, devoting real time to study most people skip, taking quizzes for fun...and being bemused about other people's lack of curiosity, even if I intellectually understand some of it. What do they do to keep their brains running? If I don't give mine something to do, it runs in little circles going meep meep meep.

>> "Mostly trial and error," <<

And, equally funny, though for different reasons. Not that knowing the theory ever prevents me from having to learn via some bumpy practice.

>> "Are you tryingto work on recognizing your boundaries,or not there yet?" he asked. <<

Great questions.

>> "Trying, but I suck at it," said Side-eye."I just like to go really rough, and not everyone is into that, <<

And a perfectly valid place to be, but quite complicated for everyone; at least they're aware of it.

>> I can take care of myself just fine." / Ricasso shook his head. "Not by half." <<

Oh. My. Yes. Not my usual style, but I know this one.

>> "As long as you can keep your feet, we'll play it your way," Gray told Side-eye. "But if you go down for a count of three,you're done sparring for the day, and you have to let us take care of you." <<

A higher emotional risk just to try, and for some people the combo would be disconcerting. But very much in line with certain kink styles, and probably with other paths. And a huge potential payoff.

>> That let him get a lock on Side-eye,putting enough power into the thrustto make him cry out in pain.

"Need a break?" Gray asked.

"Fuck you," Side-eye said,and threw a brick at his head. <<

Now we're getting into it. I'm getting a sense of personality and of power-play in action, in addition to the sparring and the physical effects going on. Very layered.

>> "Life is uncertain; eat dessert first,"Ricasso declared, and grabbed a tartlet to pop into his mouth.

"No, wait --" Gray exclaimed.

Ricasso's eyes bugged.His skin flushed crimson. He wheezed in pain.

Then he snatched the water pitcher. <<

LOL. Excellent plot twist.

>> "But I wanted to offer a range," Gray saidin a small voice. <<

Aww poor guy. He does not like upsetting The Boss, and not because he's scared; that's, I think, part general trust and friendship, part wanting to be reliable, part a submissive connection to Ricasso that makes him want to please, and probably part the vulnerability of a cooking artist trying something new out.

>> "I didn't know I was playing dessert roulette," <<

Hee hee hee. LOL and now I want to play. But NOT with peppers like that. I would be happy with non-painful non-disgusting mystery fillings.

>>Amazingly validating for someone who does have a strong relationship with pain... Just reading that happening for Gray makes me feel like standing a little taller.<<

Yay! Gray is turning into an amazing top, not just because of his kink skills or his superpower, but because of his attention to people.

>>HA ha ha ha ha. Those are such familiar feelings!<<

:D Me too.

>> Reading for the heck of it, devoting real time to study most people skip, taking quizzes for fun...and being bemused about other people's lack of curiosity, even if I intellectually understand some of it. What do they do to keep their brains running? <<

Oh gods yes. It's like a toddler, either you find something productive for it to do, or it will find something of its own and you probably will not like that.

>>And a perfectly valid place to be, but quite complicated for everyone; at least they're aware of it.<<

That's true. The best is really just that Side-eye has people around him willing to be patient with his learning curve and backstop him when needed.

>>A higher emotional risk just to try, and for some people the combo would be disconcerting. But very much in line with certain kink styles, and probably with other paths. And a huge potential payoff.<<

Yeah, some people can't stand uncertainty and would insist on doing it all one way or all the other.

>>Now we're getting into it. I'm getting a sense of personality and of power-play in action, in addition to the sparring and the physical effects going on. Very layered.<<

Yes. Side-eye is one of those bittersweet bottoms who can be snarky and harsh at first, because it takes a while to get him down far enough into subspace that he turns yielding. But there really is chocolate under the crunchy shell!

>> LOL. Excellent plot twist. <<

*giggle*

>> "But I wanted to offer a range," Gray saidin a small voice.

Aww poor guy. He does not like upsetting The Boss, and not because he's scared; that's, I think, part general trust and friendship, part wanting to be reliable, part a submissive connection to Ricasso that makes him want to please, <<

Yes, exactly. Gray adores Ricasso and never wants to disappoint him, or hurt him outside of a negotiated scene. They do actually switch on occasion, but Ricasso still holds the higher rank.

>> and probably part the vulnerability of a cooking artist trying something new out. <<

So much this. Few things suck like having a fantastic idea, and then the person(s) you wanted to impress with it has a bad reaction. That's why Ricasso was working so hard to reassure Gray that it wasn't a bad concept, just a fumble of presentation -- which was largely Ricasso's own fault for getting grabby.

>> Hee hee hee. LOL and now I want to play. But NOT with peppers like that. I would be happy with non-painful non-disgusting mystery fillings. <<

Possibilities include:

* tropical or other exotic fruits* uncommon pie flavors like mincemeat or shoo-fly* exotic spices like those in chocolate truffles

>>Extremely important and wise general advice, across a range of relationships, but essential for intimacy, including kink.<<

Yep. Kinkyfolk are like polyfolk in terms of having a huge communication fetish. It's a great place to learn relationship skills.

>> Tears trickled down his cheeks.He was whimpering, Grayrealized, in pleasure.

It's good that this seems to be a pretty safe and positive way for them to get that reaction.<<

Yep. Spicy food is a fantastic route to consensual pain. Loads of people do that who don't even think of themselves as kinky, but dude? If you're in it for the pain or the endorphins, rather than just the flavor, you are kinky as a telephone cord. Just use sensible safety measures.

Oh gods yes. It's like a toddler, either you find something productive for it to do, or it will find something of its own and you probably will not like that. <<

I think that while they are not the same, self-compassion and self-directed gentleness, loving care for children, and positive relationships with animals and nature all reinforce some of the same core traits and shore up related skills in one another. One of which is being simultaneously playful and productive. It’s actually difficult to play in a *non*-educational way, given a rich environment to explore … sigh. If only we let ourselves and our kids be as smart as a new kindergartener.

>> Yep. Spicy food is a fantastic route to consensual pain. <<

I personally ADORE ginger, the hotter the better, and mint, the icier he better; other spices vary. But chiles are right out; they burn in a way that is very not-good, and while it’s hard to explain the difference, based on my reactions to tomatoes, eggplant, and dark-colored fresh sweet peppers, I’m pretty sure I have a mild allergy so I’m not just getting spicy-hot, I’m getting itchy-ouchy-swollen-yucky in a small dose covered by the spice, and that’s why they don’t work.

>> Loads of people do that who don't even think of themselves as kinky, but dude? If you're in it for the pain or the endorphins, rather than just the flavor, you are kinky as a telephone cord. <<

Good one! And yep.

>> Just use sensible safety measures.<<

Always a wise idea.

People do some things with hot food - at eating contests and so on - that are seriously disturbing not because of how weird they are (ALL food is weird when you think about it enough; and YKINMKBYKIOK applies) but because of the detrimental health effects. I reluctantly believe that people do have a right to consciously, soberly choose to *harm* themselves (not just to harmlessly hurt themselves) if they choose to, because to me it falls logically in line with my other principles, but I would really rather they did almost ANYTHING other than play permanent-stomach-damage health roulette.

There is very, very, very often a way to reduce harm and keep all or most of the beneficial effects, whatever the need being met - but it generally requires some support. As shown above.

>>I think that while they are not the same, self-compassion and self-directed gentleness, loving care for children, and positive relationships with animals and nature all reinforce some of the same core traits and shore up related skills in one another. <<

I agree. These things overlap a lot.

>> One of which is being simultaneously playful and productive. It’s actually difficult to play in a *non*-educational way, given a rich environment to explore … sigh. If only we let ourselves and our kids be as smart as a new kindergartener. <<

That's why I favor systems like Montessori that work with the science of child development instead of against it. You don't have to teach them much, just get out of the way and let them learn. Instead we have a public school system bent on breaking people, and then they wonder why 10 years later they've got kids cutting themselves or throwing up in the bathroom. Well, duh.

>> I personally ADORE ginger, the hotter the better, and mint, the icier he better; other spices vary. <<

:D I love ginger, and I like mint too. My saying is, "Good ginger beer leaves a pleasant warmth in the mouth and a tingle on the tongue. Great ginger beer atomizes your gullet on the way down."

>>But chiles are right out; they burn in a way that is very not-good, and while it’s hard to explain the difference, based on my reactions to tomatoes, eggplant, and dark-colored fresh sweet peppers, I’m pretty sure I have a mild allergy so I’m not just getting spicy-hot, I’m getting itchy-ouchy-swollen-yucky in a small dose covered by the spice, and that’s why they don’t work.<<

Allergy sounds likely.

Of all the types of heat, ginger is the only one I like. The others set off my body in various ways. :P

>> Always a wise idea. <<

Sooth.

>> People do some things with hot food - at eating contests and so on - that are seriously disturbing not because of how weird they are (ALL food is weird when you think about it enough; and YKINMKBYKIOK applies) but because of the detrimental health effects. <<

I agree. I think that many record-chasing contests are foolish.

>> I reluctantly believe that people do have a right to consciously, soberly choose to *harm* themselves (not just to harmlessly hurt themselves) if they choose to, because to me it falls logically in line with my other principles, but I would really rather they did almost ANYTHING other than play permanent-stomach-damage health roulette. <<

I agree that it's a bad idea, but their right to choose. I don't feel that it harms me, so it's none of my business. If I want other people to respect my body autonomy, I have to respect theirs. Things which seem illogical from the outside may have their own internal logic. Even if it's just that some people are browse feeders like me, while others are gorge feeders.

>> There is very, very, very often a way to reduce harm and keep all or most of the beneficial effects, whatever the need being met - but it generally requires some support. As shown above. <<

That's true. Many people have come to the kink community after experiences with rape, abuse, self-harm, or other problems because kink is a safe place to deal with pain and incredibly deep feelings.

>> :D I love ginger, and I like mint too. My saying is, "Good ginger beer leaves a pleasant warmth in the mouth and a tingle on the tongue. Great ginger beer atomizes your gullet on the way down.” <<

>> Of all the types of heat, ginger is the only one I like. The others set off my body in various ways. :P <<

Nom nom nom.

I found some recipes to compare for cookies with three kinds of ginger. I also noticed mentions of tea mixes, punch, and miso soup. Lots of options. I might average the ingredients for a given total batch-size, add in ALL the spices, and see what happens. But not in this weather! Still, just imagining it… Mmmmm. *pleasant tingling warmth*

And there’s ginger-crabapple jelly, for those interested in foraging. (Which would be me if I had more time and energy, but not this week.) Works fine with regular tart apples, if you prefer. I had my own recipe, but I can’t find it right now, and I may have to reconstruct it. :(

And of course ginger has some non-culinary uses. :D

I actually grew a ginger plant once, from a piece of raw ginger that sprouted! I was very excited! It makes a perfectly fine houseplant if you give it a pot that is at LEAST a foot deep and a foot wide, and are prepared to repot occasionally. It sprouts and dies back each year. But it died, alas, when I had to move apartments in mid-winter. :( Oh well, try again.

>> kink is a safe place to deal with pain and incredibly deep feelings. <<

Trying to be, anyway. Communities are made of people, and some people are not cool; but many are; and the culture of a group can be consciously steered towards practicing respect and celebrating differences. The theory and practice of kink as it’s shared in many good resources focuses a LOT on good communication, which is very helpful.

Bringing this back around to the poem, what I saw happening in this set of poems was that Ricasso, Gray, and their gang were consciously building up safety. They set good precautions and followed them, fixing small problems as they occurred so they didn’t morph into big problems, but then they also communicated to find out what else they could do better in addition to that to make things work out even better. \o/

The key is to treat the crystallized ginger like chocolate chips. You want to use enough to get some in every bite of cookie. The amount given in most recipes is nowhere near enough for that.

>>And there’s ginger-crabapple jelly, for those interested in foraging.<<

Fascinating. I've had ginger jelly and marmalade before, but they're never strong enough for my taste. If it's not strong enough to make anyone choke, it's not strong enough. Sadly, I have yet to find a local analog of Hallelaine's ginger glace. Imagine crystallized ginger but the consistency of marmalade.

>>I actually grew a ginger plant once, from a piece of raw ginger that sprouted!<<

Cool.

>> Trying to be, anyway. Communities are made of people, and some people are not cool; but many are; and the culture of a group can be consciously steered towards practicing respect and celebrating differences. <<

What makes a community more than individuals is the connections and the cultural parameters. In that regard, the kink community is well set for healthy dynamics. Of course there are assholes in every culture, but in kink, they tend to be attracted by their preconception of pussy galore and quickly turned off by all the negotiation -- or kicked out for breaking rules. Most of them don't stick around. I have seen a local kink community that was a mess, but it was in a town that's otherwise known for being a mess, so this was not out of keeping with the surrounding culture. :/ Most kink communities are cool.

>> The theory and practice of kink as it’s shared in many good resources focuses a LOT on good communication, which is very helpful. <<

Agreed.

>> Bringing this back around to the poem, what I saw happening in this set of poems was that Ricasso, Gray, and their gang were consciously building up safety. <<

Yes, exactly. Ricasso excels at creating a sense of security, and he's very trustworthy with his people. So he's teaching Gray that, and it's helping undo the damage from getting subdropped that one time.

>> They set good precautions and followed them, fixing small problems as they occurred so they didn’t morph into big problems, but then they also communicated to find out what else they could do better in addition to that to make things work out even better. \o/ <<

These, too, are general parameters for the gang. Most of the guys are serious about addressing problems as they come up. That's why Marcus bailed, really, not just the kink. He's not interested in fixing his fuckups. It's interesting to see how differently supervillain stories go when some people don't make that mistake.

>> That's why Marcus bailed, really, not just the kink. He's not interested in fixing his fuckups. It's interesting to see how differently supervillain stories go when some people don't make that mistake. <<

Yes it is. Thank you for writing it.

>> The key is to treat the crystallized ginger like chocolate chips. You want to use enough to get some in every bite of cookie. The amount given in most recipes is nowhere near enough for that. <<

Good to know. My uncle's rule of thumb for cookie recipes: "double the tasty stuff." HE'd always put extra butter, extra sugar, TONS of spices and chocolate and fillings and such. The cookeis tended to look a mess but always tasted great; good for refueling if one is also, like him, an avid biker.

*eats crystallized ginger straight out of the bag* I suppose if one's cooking buddy is also a kink buddy it's easier to ask someone to deliver a smack with a spoon if one cannot stop munching the ingredients! Or in Gray's case, a direct zing of power. :P Much fun for the switchy-flexible and creative domestic partnership or team.

Personally I'm well aware of my tendency to drink up all the cream and snack on nuts/dried fruit without consciously thinking, and tend to warm people of that in most cooking contexts, but address it differently depending on situation... my partner has permission to make a game out of stopping me; my mom is allowed to get exasperated because she's dealt with it literally forever; I will sit on my hands or leave the room if needed in an acquaintance's kitchen. It's not so much that I have NO self-control, since I have lot in some contexts, as that I don't quite see the POINT of self-control that means less goodies for no particular reason except The Rulez. ... Which actually is a good place to be if one desires practice in gamifying in order to modify behavior, since *I* don't care that much one way or another but know *some* people do. Though I'm not sure I'd recommend that to most people, because food issues.

>> Good to know. My uncle's rule of thumb for cookie recipes: "double the tasty stuff." HE'd always put extra butter, extra sugar, TONS of spices and chocolate and fillings and such. The cookeis tended to look a mess but always tasted great; good for refueling if one is also, like him, an avid biker.<<

Awesome. I am also quite fond of foodcookies -- anything that is designed with high nutrient value.

>> *eats crystallized ginger straight out of the bag* <<

Me too. I can easily kill a bag just by snacking on it.

>> I suppose if one's cooking buddy is also a kink buddy it's easier to ask someone to deliver a smack with a spoon if one cannot stop munching the ingredients! Or in Gray's case, a direct zing of power. :P Much fun for the switchy-flexible and creative domestic partnership or team. <<

Yep. I know plenty of people with domestic discipline arrangements of various types, or folks who like to gamify kink. Headgames are very popular in the department of happywhackery.

>> Personally I'm well aware of my tendency to drink up all the cream and snack on nuts/dried fruit without consciously thinking, and tend to warm people of that in most cooking contexts, but address it differently depending on situation... my partner has permission to make a game out of stopping me; my mom is allowed to get exasperated because she's dealt with it literally forever; I will sit on my hands or leave the room if needed in an acquaintance's kitchen. <<

That makes sense.

>> It's not so much that I have NO self-control, since I have lot in some contexts, as that I don't quite see the POINT of self-control that means less goodies for no particular reason except The Rulez. ... Which actually is a good place to be if one desires practice in gamifying in order to modify behavior, since *I* don't care that much one way or another but know *some* people do. Though I'm not sure I'd recommend that to most people, because food issues. <<

My rules are basically:* Don't eat the counted things. Those have to last someone until the next shopping trip, and if they're gone it causes problems.* Don't eat the things we need for this recipe before we're done putting them in.* Don't eat so much it makes you sick or spoils your appetite for what we're cooking.* Sometimes, don't eat up all of the really expensive stuff that's meant to last a long time.

Other than that, if you want to kill off the half-cup of semisweet chips left in the bag after making cookies, go for it. Avoiding the consumption of large amounts is easily managed by putting a reasonable portion into a bowl.

It's helpful being clear about what's for a recipe vs. what's for consumption also helps, and items that are primarily or solely for one person's consumption due to particular dietary or psychological needs. Looking at those rules, I think the counting of counted / meant to last items and the joint organization to stock up on a regular schedule so we know how long it'll be until we restock is what, if anything, my partner and I should work on.

For me the interpersonal friction tends to come in when I'm thinking "but you aren't eeeeeeeaaating it" and someone else is thinking "good to have on hand for later." It's part of a general tendency on my part to look at objects and see *usefulness* to someone more readily than I see *belonging* to someone; to default to thinking of shared-use as shared-ownership unless I think it through and remember where the lines actually are. But I know it's an issue, and can avoid it in work contexts, etc by being super-careful to always ask about anything I don't personally own even if it is in common use, at least until told it's okay to use as needed or whatever. Sometimes I mess up at home and eat all the licorice or use all the hairbrushes and leave them in weird places or steal all the pillows for a nest or finish off the milk before we've had coffee, because I'm tired and stressed. And then I apologize and try not to do it again. *sigh*