the antlers

When I think back on my days post-college graduation in North Carolina, one of the first things that comes to mind is my love for The Antlers. I fell hard for their song “I Don’t Want Love,” despite being in love in those days. It was a weird contradiction, but mostly I fell for the sound of the song and the vision I had in my mind of what a music video could look like for it if I were to direct it. It’s dark, but it’s so beautiful.

Fast forward, and the other day when I got a Twitter message from the one and only Arjun Grover saying he had a mashup for me. Turns out it’s a mashup/medley/cover (whatever you want to call it, take your pick) by the artist Tyler Brown. Sure enough, he blends my favorite “I Don’t Want Love” with another favorite “Thinkin Bout You” by Frank Ocean and “Love, Love, Love (Love, Love)” by As Tall As Lions. Not three songs you’d imagine being pulled into one, but that’s the beauty of it. And ohhh, when The Antlers part starts at around the 0:30 mark, my heart just melts all over again. Man, music nostalgia is a powerful, powerful thing. Beautiful work, Tyler Brown. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

The Antlers are back with a new single called Drift Drive that is a sneak peek at their upcoming EP called Undersea. As with all songs I hear from The Antlers, this one hit me like a wave of emotions, sending me into a trance-like state, staring, drifting, wondering. It’s amazing to me that they are always able to instill that state of mind, never once wavering in the time that I’ve loved their music.

It’s one of those evenings. Long day, finally home and able to relax, and just when I think I’ll plop onto the couch and stare blankly at the wall, I get this last burst of cracked-out energy and sit down to write one of these really bizarre posts. What can I say, I’m friends with @PigsandPlans. We’re weird. We’re not afraid to hide it. Back off.

So tonight’s topic is “5 Artists I Want To Marry.” Okay, so it’s not easy for me to narrow it down to five, but I’ll make my best attempt. Ready? Here goes.

1. Kid Cudi

Ugh, sorry, this was too obvious. But what can I say, I’m a loyal girl! Ever since the first time I ever heard about Kid Cudi, which, if I recall correctly, was in an obscure blog post or magazine article that talked about a Kanye West concert and mentioned the kid he had opening for him whose named happened to be Kid Cudi. After reading a paragraph about his performance and his style of music, I immediately whipped out Google and started stalking. Err..um…listening to music. And looking at pictures of him on Google Images. No wait, just listening to his music. Yeah. Kid Cudi. Want to marry him.

2. Macklemore/Ryan Lewis

Okay, so the question is: would this qualify as a threesome? Not that I’m aiming for a threesome, but I just can’t imagine one without the other. I came across these two my senior year of college when I was really getting into the Seattle hip hop scene. This was before I knew much about Twitter or got any music submissions. I found most of my music by browsing MySpace (God, I should stop talking now.) and if I found somebody whose music I liked, I’d see who their “top friends” were and listen to their music. So I came across Macklemore, and then that’s how I found Ryan Lewis. I remember immediately falling in love with his song “Make You Mine.” Still love that instrumental today. Anyway – these two are unique, Ryan is hot, and they make beautiful art. Yep, I want to marry them. Both of them.

3. Bon Iver

This is probably cliche to say these days, but man, I have a THING for Justin Vernon. The beard, the messy hair, the falsetto, the low voice, the ear for music. It’s simple, really: everything about Justin Vernon is fucking beautiful. Want to marry him.

4. Alex Ebert

Alex Ebert. AKA Alexander. AKA frontman of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. AKA one of the best performers I’ve ever seen in my day. He’s wild, he’s unique, he’s artistic, and he seems so damn fun. And anybody who can write a song as sweet as “Home” just MUST have a big heart. Let’s just forget about his run-in with rehab and all that. K? Cool. Want to marry him.

5. Peter Silberman

Peter Silberman is the frontman of The Antlers, my musical obsession of late. I saw them perform live and was worried that his voice wouldn’t be up to par live with its sound on record. Thankfully, I was wrong. And by god, I was amazed. The sweet sound of his voice was enough to put him on my top five. Well that and those blue eyes…

Precursor: These Straight Talk Sunday posts don’t come every Sunday, because frankly, I don’t always have something even remotely profound to say. But today I had something to say, damnit, and I wanted to say it so badly that I actually did…say it. I’ve recorded myself reading my Straight Talk Sunday using the ever-so-wonderful SoundCloud app, and I don’t know if I’ll keep doing this or not, because I don’t really like the sound of my own voice, but hell, today I don’t really care. This is Straight Talk…and it’s spoken. For those who care not to listen, or perhaps for the hard of hearing, I’ve typed it out below. For those listening, pardon my mispronunciations or stutters. I have a cold. And I’m nervous, okay? I don’t know yall like that yet.

Sometimes when I sit by myself with headphones in, jamming out or slowly bobbing my head to some music I’m really feeling that particular day, I ask myself what the hell it is with me and this music business. What do I like about it so much? What’s to like? It’s just sound…no? Sure, some bands put noises together that sound good. Yeah, okay, other bands write really poetic lyrics. But in the end, isn’t it just noise?

Well, the answer hadn’t come to me until I found myself at a concert the other night. I was right up at the corner of the stage and in total awe of the music coming from the four men who call themselves The Antlers. If you’re at all a fan of this band, you likely know that their 2009 album, Hospice, is an incredibly sad and dark album allegedly about an abusive relationship but told through the analogy of a Hospice worker and a terminally-ill patient. That album, through its dark nature and incredibly telling lyrics, pulled in fans of all sorts, most of whom likely found themselves in a comfortable nook in the middle of an uncomfortable situation. The next album from The Antlers, 2011’s Burst Apart, was lighter than its predecessor, this time showcasing some strength in retaliation. The breakthrough song, in my opinion, is the opening track, “I Don’t Want Love.” In it, frontman Peter Silberman sings “If I leave before you, And I walk out alone, Keep your hands to yourself, When you follow me home, I don’t want love.”

As they began to play this song at the bar the other night, the crowd started rejoicing. One person in particular stood out to me. He was a young man in the front row, I’d imagine in his later teen years, and between songs he looked like any young fan. Curious, somewhat excited, but pretty much blending into the crowd. As soon as “I Don’t Want Love” started, though, this boy became my answer to why I like music so much. He burst out into interpretive dance moves, his whole body reverberating alongside the guitar and vocals, slamming his head down with the hard note changes and slowly pulling it back up with his eyes closed as other notes soared. His arms were almost directing the music itself. He was lip-syncing the lyrics the entire time, or perhaps he was belting them out alongside Silberman, I’m not quite sure. But every single word that came out of Silberman’s mouth, I knew right then and there, was affecting this young man. With the emotion coming through his dance moves, I knew that this boy had experienced something deep or dark and The Antlers were his coping mechanism. How did I know? Because when the song ended, and the cheering finally stopped, I heard him mutter to the band, “thank you.” It wasn’t loud enough for the band to hear, but there it was. It was clear to me that The Antlers, through their representation of love lost, remorse, pain, fear, release…all of the emotions that come out in their music, were able to heal this young man at some point.

To be straight with y’all, I’m going through a really fucking tough time right now. It seems that with every day that comes, a new boulder gets laid in my path, as though I’m being challenged to find my way. I’ve typically been one to think ‘with every day comes a new opportunity,’ and am excited to seize the day, but lately it’s just been overbearing. Too many things, far too often, are stumbling blocks rather than stepping stones. At times I want to just hang my head and cry, but as soon as I say that, I think of a song that I love. A song that actually says in it, “so I hung my head and I cried.” It’s a song that my Dad taught me as a little girl. After losing my Dad just over a year ago, I carry this song particularly close to heart. And at this point in time, there are other songs that I’m keeping close. Songs that are able to get me through. Songs that get me, that remind me that others, too, have seen dark days. One day it’s Kid Cudi getting me through, today it seems to be The Antlers.

So through it all, I’ve found my answer. I love music because it is reflective. It’s artful. My god, its powerful. And direct. It has the ability to connect people who may never meet, but they can be together emotionally through words and sounds. It’s gotten me through good times and bad, and these days it’s carrying me through to the next. Straight talk: music aint just noise, it’s a way of being.

As stated recently, I don’t usually like remixes that much. I prefer the original stuff. Most remixes strike me as artists who lack creativity piggybacking/jacking somebody else’s creative juices and calling it their own. That said, however, once in a while a remix comes along that makes me drool. Maybe I’m drooling right now because I have strep throat and cannot seem to make use of my throat because it’s in so much pain, but I’d like to instead think that I’m drooling because I am loving this remix so much. It’s a perfect blend of the original and a new dance funk mix. Not overdone, not underdone. Just right. In fact I believe I like it more than the original. Thank you sir, I’ll have another.

And the other part of this that I love! So the dudes who did this remix, Buffetlibre, have teamed up with Amnesty International Catalunya to create something called “PEACE,” “the first music atlas in the net.” Basically this is a compilation of over 180 exclusive and unreleased songs by artists from all over the world. You can download the album here after making a donation to Amnesty International Catalunya. The money then goes to the investigation and action campaigns aimed at preventing cases of Human Rights abuses around the world. Being a human rights major in college, obviously this concept appeals to me.

I haven’t given this whole album a listen yet, but it’s about losing a loved one to bone cancer and it has gotten a lot of praise. This video is pretty somber, but cool. I love songs that add an instrument for every verse. They seem to do the same with the vocals. The lyrics are worth reading-very powerful.

“In the middle of the night I was sleeping sitting up,

When a doctor came to tell me, ‘Enough is enough.’

He brought me out into the hall, I could have sworn it was haunted,

and told me something that I didn’t know that I wanted to hear:

That there was nothing that I could do to save you,

the choir’s gonna sing, and this thing is gonna kill you.

Something in my throat made my next works shake,

and something in the wires made the lightbulbs break.

There was glass inside my feet and raining down from the ceiling,

It opened up the scars that had just finished healing.

It tore apart the canyon running down your femur,

I thought that it was beautiful, it made me a believer.

And as it opened I could hear you howling from your room,

but I hid out in the hall until the hurricane blew.

When I reappeared and tried to give you something for the pain,

you came to hating me again and just sang your refrain:

You had a new dream, it was more like a nightmare.

You were just a little kid and they cut your hair,

then they stuck you in machines, you came so close to dying.

They should have listened, they thought that you were lying.

Daddy was an asshole, he fucked you up, built the gears in your head,

now he greases them up. And no one paid attention when you just stopped eating.

‘Eight-seven pounds!’ and this all bears repeating.

Tell me when you think that we became so unhappy,

wearing silver rings with nobody clapping.

When we moved here together we were so disappointed,

sleeping out of tune with our dreams disjointed.

It killed me to see you always getting rejected,

but I didn’t mind the things you threw, the phones I deflected.

I didn’t mind you blaming me for your mistakes,

I just held you in the doorframe through all of the earthquakes.

But you packed up your clothes in that bag every night,

and I would try to grab your ankles-what a pitiful sight.

But after over a year, I stopped trying to stop you from stomping out that door,

coming back like you always do.

Well no one’s gonna fix it for us, no one can.

You say that ‘No one’s gonna listen, and no one understands.’

So there’s no open doors and there’s no way to get through,

there’s no other witnesses, just us two.

There’s two people living in one small room,

from your two half-families tearing at you,

two ways to tell the story, no one worries,

two silver rings on our fingers in a hury,

two people talking inside your brain,

two people believe that I’m the one to blame,

two different voices coming out of your mouth,

while I’m too cold to care and too sick to shout.

You had a new dream, it was more like a nightmare.

You were just a little kid and they cut your hair,

then they stuck you in machines, you came so close to dying.

They should have listened, they thought that you were lying.

Daddy was an asshole, he fucked you up, built the gears in your head,

now he greases them up. And no one paid attention when you just stopped eating.