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Perfect Day at the Farm

I fed a tan donkey with a white trimmed belly with feed bought from a gumball machine. His cool tongue licked my hand clean. My son shared his two quarters worth of feed. I kept thinking memories are made on these such days.

My husband and I invested our date night budget into paying for our family to visit the farm. We invited my in-laws and paid their way. Memories are priceless.

Ben bounced. I watched until I joined in discarding care like a wool coat in summer. I was happy and buoyant. Children embrace joy with such giggly grace. I am trying to get back to this joy and innocence again. I’ve been struggling with anxiety and grief this fall season. There are two December death anniversaries that have been on my mind (Dad 12/11/2003 and Mom 12/24/2012) and I have been feeling cranky about the upcoming holidays, cursing all things pumpkins, harvests, and straw filled.

I have been volunteering in my son’s kindergarten class facial ting LEGO play writing workshops. It’s the best part of my day. And wow, do those kiddos create! Jump. Jump into joy, like kids do.

I don’t know why I have been so closed off from my own creativity. Probably because I have been trying too hard to teach it for others. I have been leading workshops in schools and recently presented on it at a conference. Do as I say, not as I do. Right?

Some days are magic. Today was one.

I can’t pinpoint when my grip let go and I cast away a heavy curtain that has prevented me from writing for fear of a mistake. I have jailed myself within my own prison of self-doubt. Today, those bars broke.

Perhaps it was the magic of a perfect day. Holding hands with Grammy and seeing my little boy shine.

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About memomuse

I am an arts educator, writer, poet, photographer, and mama.
United Arts Council Artist in the Schools and Writer-in-Residence -- I am available to conduct workshops and residencies: Memoir, Writing, Poetry, Spoken Word, Poetry Slams. Contact me for more information. Also available for freelance writing and photography.
I am also working on a historic food memoir: http://evanstoncommmunitykitchen.wordpress.com