Dear Abby: Mom visiting Mexico should leave baby home

By JEANNE PHILLIPS Columnist

Tuesday

Mar 28, 2017 at 4:00 AM

DEAR ABBY: My 21-year-old daughter has a 6-month-old child. The father is a 36-year-old man who was deported to Mexico. He continues to contact her and wants her to travel to Mexico to visit him. I am terrified of all the things that could happen to her if she goes.

I don't trust him. I keep thinking, will he try to keep the baby? Will he try to keep them both or entice her to do something illegal? (He had an earlier felony conviction.) How can I get her to recognize these types of things happen all the time? -- MOTHER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR MOTHER: The most important thing you can do is calm down. Your daughter is an adult, and you need to treat her like one. You are within your rights to express your concern, but if she wants to go, you cannot stop her.

Offer to take care of your grandchild while she visits the baby's daddy. Suggest she take lots of photos with her. But unless she is absolutely sure the environment is safe for her child, the little one should stay north of the border.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend's friend "Keira" moved back here to help take care of his mom. They didn't have an intimate relationship. He's very loving toward me and treats me like gold. The problem I've been having is, he doesn't understand how some things bother me.

When the three of us went to dinner, they were sharing food by feeding each other. I'm sure people probably thought they were a couple. When I asked him why he didn't put some food on a plate and give it to her, he didn't have an answer. Also, they watch TV in bed together. He thinks these are normal "friend things" to do.

I'm not a jealous person, but I have my limits. We don't live close, so we see each other only a few times a week. He said she has nowhere to go, and it was his agreement with her that if she came home with him she would always have a place to stay.

I like her, but sometimes feel like I'm dating both of them. She fixes things around the house, and he lets her borrow his car for work. Am I just being petty? -- THIRD WHEEL IN THE EAST

DEAR THIRD WHEEL: Forgive me if this seems negative, but your boyfriend's primary relationship seems to be with the girl who is living with him 24/7 and watching television in his bed rather than with you.

Keira's living with him, taking care of the house and his mother, spending time in his bed, hand-feeding him, and the few times a week you see him, she's coming along. He may treat you like gold, but it looks more like fool's gold to me.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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