SEXUALITY FOR LIFE. Info, advice and products for women over 40.

Q: Why does my husband prefer porn to me?

This is such a tough question. I brought one of our advisors, Mary Jo Rapini into the conversation, since she’s a therapist who often deals with this issue.

Two things we think it’s very important for you to know: First, you are not alone. Porn addictions are becoming a very frequently seen issue in Mary Jo’s practice. Second, this isn’t really about you, so, as hard as it might be, do everything you can to recognize your partner’s problem and work hard at feeling good about yourself.

Your partner may have sex fantasies that he isn’t able to tell you about; he may not know how to talk about sex or sexuality. Pornography is so easily available–and requires no face-to-face contact, so it’s easy to keep an addiction going and very difficult to combat it.

Both Mary Jo and I recommend couples therapy if your husband is willing, and counseling for you if he’s not so you have support in seeing the situation clearly–and yourself as a worthy and lovable person!