How to Stand Someone Up on a Date

Blind dates are hell for many people, and that persistent-yet-annoying suitor may keep on asking you out on a date even if you don’t want to. You “don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings,” but let’s face it: there’s nothing like the joy of getting rid of that potential significant other you don’t want to spend any time with by standing him or her up. It may not be the most polite or civil thing to do, but if you’re willing to risk the future of the rest of your love life, here are some ways to stand someone up on a date.

Reschedule All Your Appointments

It may seem like the dirtiest trick in the book, but rescheduling all your appointments may give you a good reason to stand up the Date You Never Wanted. The reason why this remedy often fails is that people can see through an excuse very easily. Instead of making up a sorry excuse, you can make the appointment happen just in time:

Connive with your friends. Talk the plan over with your friends: either you have a new business venture, or a common friend you haven’t seen for a long while has just arrived years after he or she relocated. So as not to offend your date, offer to pay for his or her dinner.

Phone call. Nothing says “urgent” more than a phone call that you have to respond to just before the date. Instead of pretending to have a call, it’s best to have someone make a call for you to make the “event” seem more authentic.

Pretend

If “appointment rescheduling” doesn’t work, you can always manage to pretend that something’s seriously wrong with you:

Dying of some wasting disease. Swine flu, perhaps? Think again: remember that when you’re pretending to be sick, don’t go all out with something like the plague. Try to exert some effort in your play-act. Try “your very best” to go to the date venue, but pretend that you have a very itchy throat, or that you can barely stand up.

Go to the other restaurant. If you’re dining in some well-known restaurant, chances are that there’s another branch of the place somewhere. You can attribute the failure to miscommunication. You can just say, “I thought we were dining in this restaurant… you want me to go there? Sure, but it will take quite a while…” In a few minutes, you can say goodbye to your date, and say hello to your freedom.

“Date” Someone Else

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and you may need to pull off the big guns to stand up the Date You Never Wanted. Bear in mind that these tricks come across as even cheaper than the tips mentioned above, and you may end up in a worse situation than ever before. Yet if it does get rid of the Date You Never Wanted, it’s worth a try:

Find an old flame. Assuming that you’re already in good terms with your ex, you can play-act a scenario where you just got back together. Tell your date that it would be offensive to your “current relationship” if you go on, you’re sorry you didn’t tell him or her, and you might as well go your separate ways and stay friends. Chances are you won’t, but you did get rid of the Date You Never Wanted.

Reorient your sexual preferences… temporarily. When worse comes to worst, there’s nothing like a shock to the senses and the sensibilities. Get a guy friend (if you’re a guy) or a girl friend (if you’re a girl), and make the “revelation” that you just got in touch with you’re inner self and you’re now a homosexual, or a bisexual, or whatever fits your fancy. Not that there’s anything wrong with it: just explain to everyone (except your date) that you’re only doing it for your own peace of mind.

It’s never easy to get into a romantic pickle, but the best way to decline a date is to just say “No.” Yet if that doesn’t work, these tips may help you get out of a web of dating problems you don’t want to go through again.

* For more tips on expelling your blind date, read Top ten tips to gross out your blind date or you could just go on with the act and learn how to survive a blind date.