Don’t be afraid of ‘me’

Most people know better than to say or write something like “Mike and me are going to a hockey game tonight.” They know that “me” is the wrong pronoun to use when it’s the subject of a sentence.

But it’s funny how so many people get tripped up on the other end of a sentence, when the pronoun is the object.

All too often, I see posts on blogs and especially on social media in which the writer says something like “Joe came to the hockey game with Mike and I.” Or, the writer cops out with “Mike and myself.”

Many very smart, well educated people do it. In a debate the other night, our incumbent U.S. senator referred to an issue that she said illustrated the difference “between my opponent and I.” Immediately, a colleague and I yelled “ME!”

If you ever worry about whether you’re using the right pronoun, here’s the simple test: If you’re writing about two people, test by leaving out the other person.

As the subject:
WHICH IS IT:”Joe and ___ are going to the game”.
WOULD YOU SAY: “Me is going”? I hope not. Nor would you say “Him (or her) is going.”
SO THEN: “Joe and I (or ‘he’ or ‘she’) are going.”

Same thing on the other end, as the object:
WHICH IS IT:”Come to the game with Mary and ____.”.
WOULD YOU SAY: “Come to the game with I”? Doubt it.
SO THEN: “Come to the game with Mary and me.”

I think as kids, most of us were corrected (maybe fairly strenuously) for misusing “me” as the subject — “Larry and me were hunting for frogs down by the creek” — which left us insecure about whether it was ever safe to use it.

Well, it is. Time to rise above the trauma of third-grade English class!

Oh, and take a stab at the question in the image at the top of the post. Don’t be bashful; it’ll be just between you and me.