Two people, two opinions, two voices, one blog - how closely aligned can two moral compasses be when one believes in God and one believes in tea?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I Smell Ararat

Hahahaha, holy shit. This one's a doozy.

Anyone who's familiar with the creationist agenda, particularly in the US and places like Turkey where they've banned the teaching of evolution, knows that every time a creatard is faced with any part of the giant freakin' mountain of evidence that they're wrong, they'll either accuse the scientists involved of being wrong, or part of a conspiracy. Or sometimes both.

If there isn't already an international signal for 'RETARD', this makes a very strong case for its necessity. Not content with screaming accusations of 'unfairness' at every scrap of evidence proving their fucking fairytale wrong - even though the same story necessitates every single animal species EVER, alive or dead, living within walking distance of Noah's house - now they're accusing each other of conspiracy to stop the wrong sort of Christians being favoured with positive media attention. And get this:

Noah's Ark Ministries International is firing back at the report, stating, "We are very disappointed and enraged by some Christian scholars, who used partially factual, and plausible-yet-false materials, piled into an article looking like a scholarly report, with bold titles accusing NAMI of making a fraud. It severely maligned and hurt this organization and the exploration-team members. ...

"Most of the materials in it are based on creating or speculating a story line, by connecting the fragments of facts publicized by this organization at different situations, and put into a made-up beginning and end, and compiled into a document that misleads readers."

...I almost don't have the heart, it's too easy...but stick a fucking 'King James Version' label on the start of that report and they'll accept it without question. Seriously, everyone who's read any report ever about the Bible that's tried to mesh it with modern evidence has seen the same fucking procedure.

This report leaves me feeling very conflicted. I find it hilarious, but the hilarity itself leaves me feeling guilty. It's a lot like this:

See? Neither group of creatards has a hope of contending seriously, but it's simultaneously wince-makingly awful and gut-bustingly funny to watch them turn on each other.

Except honestly, if two disabled people got into a fight, it wouldn't be funny. We can only laugh at that 'cause it's safely fictional...coincidentally, so is the fucking ark, but the groups of morons fighting over it are ROFLworthy.

As for what I can safely call a relatively common-sense debunking of Noah's Ark as a story, I'll include this: and look! He's got a book too, and it has PICTURES! It must be even more accurate!

"Most of the materials in it are based on creating or speculating a story line, by connecting the fragments of facts publicized by this organization at different situations, and put into a made-up beginning and end, and compiled into a document that misleads readers."