The Guardian had the right idea on its homepage: “Not a royalist?” it asked. If you didn’t give a hoot for the obsessive royal baby watch and attendant hoopla, you clicked on the tab and were delivered to the latest world news–free of baby talk.

Breathless accounts of the Duchess of Cambridge’s trip to the hospital, coverage of the Royal announcement of early labor, the constant cable TV news updates and the world media on high alert was the latest case study for students of the media. Was it the mere fact of a hot new celebrity pushing U.S. media buttons again, or was there something historical about the heir to the heir to the heir? Why would Americans care?

The lack of news had exactly zero effect on the amount of frantic overage.

Joanne Ostrow has been watching TV since before "reality" required quotation marks. "Hill Street Blues" was life-changing. If Dickens, Twain or Agatha Christie were alive today, they'd be writing for television. And proud of it.