Not in the way I’m obsessed with, say, always filling my Britta water filter pitcher to the brim or making sure the charge on my cell phone, laptop, and Kindle Fire batteries never gets below, um, 100%.

Let’s just say, notions of my own demise interest me in that I would like to:

1. forestall any haste to that inevitability since life is going pretty well right now

2. make sure I don’t have any more serious system failures causing me to go undercover and buy some of that legal pot available in my state

This is how I plan to try pot AND remain anonymous. Ingenious, huh?

3. look really good as I (hopefully) slowly decay

So I was really interested when I learned about this short internet quiz telling me my chances of dying in the next 5 years.

Yup. You heard me right.

I was all over that quiz like hair plugs on Kevin Costner.

Math question on the SATs: If an actress runs her hands through Kevin Costner’s hair in September 2006, how much more hair will she have in her fingers than if she runs her hands through his hair in March of 2007? Assume the same rate of hand running.

Just so you know, the quiz comes from the UK. Apparently they do research there, too.

Based on 11-13 questions, this quiz-ette tells you your risk of dying within the next 5 years from any cause.

That’s a big claim for knowing so little about a person.

In the US, we want to know everything about you. Heck, we tap your phones, read your emails, and surveil your house. And we don’t care when you’re going to die. We just want to know what you’re having for breakfast.

Let’s see. Looks like Lorna has just finished her brisk morning walk and she’s reaching into her stainless steel refrigerator to get…wait for it…the, um, yes! The blueberry smoothie! We have confirmation on the blueberry smoothie.

But, apparently, researchers in the UK can know very little about us, yet they can tell us when we’re going to die.

Curious? I was.

So I took the quiz.

It didn’t take very long.

If you have three minutes, you should take it, too. But you may need longer to recover from the results.

I did.

Full disclosure: I’m 57 (and a half). My calculated risk age is 62 and the chances of me dying in the next 5 years is 3.1%.

I can handle the 3.1%, but 62? Come on! I didn’t even get to submit a photo.

They asked:

1. my age (we’re starting off on the wrong foot here)

2. sex (what, not how much)

3. number of children (is only having one super great kid a problem?)

4. how much tobacco I smoke now (none…wait…is pot considered tobacco, I mean, IF I decide to try it?)

Being in the UK I came across that quiz but, unlike you, I wasn’t brave enough to do it. I suppose I just want to cling to the idea that I will live forever with health and true friends as my companion. Perhaps I need to find another quiz which asks the question, “How sane are you ?

The radio was full of it here, but I didn’t bother. I guess if a car runs you over that isn’t quite captured by the test… If it can scare anybody into being a bit healthier it might be worth it. I think a test to improve my memory would be more useful to me (soon I won’t remember if I’m alive…:)

I don’t put much store by such tests, but I did it anyway. Happily my UbbLE age is ten years younger than I actually am, and my risk of dying in the next 5 years is 2.7%. I can cope with that. 😀
P.S. If you’d submitted a photo, I’m sure your result would have been drastically different. xx

I have a feeling we will be around for a very long time if only to annoy all those who might wish upon us an early demise. You taking the test is good enough for me. We think so much alike, no need to take it twice. Lol. Hugs and love to you! You comical woman, you, love your posts. 😊

Okay–even with my chronic condition (kidney transplant) they said my age was 5 years less than what it is and my chances of croaking are 5.6…not bad for a 71 year old. (of course they didn’t ask what the chronic condition is)

But then what really matters is living in the NOW, isn’t it!

Kinda fun though, if the results were really bad, it might not be.

TinaJun 17, 2015 @ 14:40:41

Don’t believe everything you read or test. You have megga years ahead-let the fun begin.

Silence can be just what the doctor ordered. You know I'm a doctor, right? Cancel reply

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