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Posts Tagged ‘christmas’

‘Twas the night before Christmas in the U.S. of A.
And no one had presents ’cause no one could pay.
The stockings were hung despite holes in their sole,
And with gas so expensive we all prayed for coal.
The children were nestled in rough burlap sacks
Since their beds had been sold to pay off our tax, Read the rest of this entry →

25

12 2009

So here it is, the day after Christmas, and you just realized that you forgot to get a gift for the person you hate the most on the planet. This was the year, too. You were going to give that S.O.B. a flaming bag of dog poop or a box full of your stinky toenail clippings from the past year, but then you just plum forgot, didn’t you?

Well, fear not, my friends. There’s still time to get him or her a really wretched New Year’s present, and I have a few suggestions that I think might fit the bill. Read the rest of this entry →