JWoww’s Fiance Seems Nice

Apparently, people are getting bent out of shape about JWoww’s then-boyfriend, now-fiance Roger Matthews shoving her down on the latest Jersey Shore when she tries to pull him out of a bar fight which is ridiculous because these are cartoon characters with herpes instead of human souls and emotions. But if you want to be all PC about it, we can imagine what it would’ve been like if he hung around pregnant Snooki a lot near the top of stairs. “And now I wish I had a time machine instead of the right to vote. Goddammit.” – Susan B. Anthony