WHEN do you give the tip?

I can’t seem to find this answer anywhere. When do you actually give out the tips? I am planning a destination wedding, and my officiant’s final payment is due two weeks before wedding. Do I send the tip when I send my final payment, or do I wait until the day off and give cash in envelope.

With that said though, I am still debating with the whole tipping thing with regards to the offician and violinist. I will most certainly tip my photographer because they have been so awesome to deal with via email thus far, and obv will be tipping hair stylist and restaurant when we go to eat. However, I’m not sure if you’re supposed to tip officiant (they have posted a tipping post on their blog and make a comment about how they are not expected to be tipped, but it would be appreciated), and for the violinist, he hasn’t been the best to deal with (in fact, I don’t know how trusting I am, so I will be bringing ceremony music on a CD juuuuust in case!).

Hopefully more people will also comment and say they didn’t haha. To be honest, I would rather not. I am paying him $300 for a half hour of his time. We don’t get a rehersal and I wrote the ceremony script myself! lol

renmich88: I am curious about this stuff too. I’m in agreement about the officiant but I’m not sure what’s proper. And the photographer? I’m looking at one that is about $3,500…do you normally tip them on top of that too? Following this to hopefully get some answers too!

I’ve also wondered on tips. I always thought you don’t tip an officiant, but give a donation to their church. Not sure what to do about an officiant who isn’t really a part of a church. I also thought you only tipped those vendors who do not work for themselves like if you go to a salon and get your hair and makeup done vs an independent hair and MUA. What about all inclusive venues? Do you tip them as well?

Yeah its beyond confusing. My photographer is only $950 because I only have him for three hours (and that includes video), so I only plan to tip $50 or so… But on $3500… Yikes, I think you’re already paying enough! Lol. I live in Canada where I told thing tipping is done as hugely as American (still done, but I’ve seen come outrageous posts on tipping). It’s quite confusing and makes me worry because you don’t know what others expect.

OK. I just looked up what my venue suggests and I looked around at The Knot’s tipping cheat sheet and on Martha Stewart. It looks like my tips are only going to be about $300. That’s not bad. My venue can add the tip to my total cost and then I give them the money to distribute to bartender and wait staff.

All our vendors received their tips in cash on the day of AFTER they had performed their services (like PP said). It was simple enough to have someone hand them out for us. I had them in envelopes and labled. All remaining balances had to be paid a month before the wedding.

If they own their own company they do not need a tip. I did end up tipping the DOC, our officiant, ceremony musicians, and our reception band members, & MUA/hair stylist.

If your ceremony musician doesn’t perform the way you think he should, I wouldn’t tip him. My vendors were all very professional and were amazing to deal with. Had they not been, they probably wouldn’t have gotten a tip!

renmich88: I never heard all this about “tipping” until I joined the bee. If you pay someone for their services then a tip should not be considered a necessity.

If you get married in your church, by your pastor, then I can see that the tip is customary but I am not paying an officiant $600 (that was our charge) to turn around and tip them $50 or $100 too. They got their money.