Editor's Note

The Charge

Pants on fire.

Opening Statement

This stylish, sultry corporate comedy returns for a follow-up to an
underwhelming first season. Does the sophomore effort raise its game?

Facts of the Case

Marty Kaan (Don Cheadle, Iron Man
2) is still the man. As one of the most ruthless and sought-after management
consultants, he's smack in the middle of some of the biggest deals, making bank
and banging hotties. His latest venture gets him in the casino business, and in
it he sees a potential career-altering strategy.

Meanwhile, his colleagues are tackling their own life-changing issues:
Jeannie (Kristen Bell, Veronica
Mars) is dealing with a tumultuous love life; Clyde (Ben Schwartz) confronts
the human consequences of his money-grubbing; and Doug (Josh Lawson) meets his
dream girl.

The Evidence

I think this show is pretty brutal, but I'd be a hypocrite if I said I hated
watching it. It manages to keep my attention throughout, even though I did sort
of hate myself for it. Well, that might be overstating things a bit; House of
Lies isn't garbage mechanically. The production is stylish, the actors are
top-shelf and you can tell there was through put into the writing and
plotting.

Where the series faltered was two-fold: 1) it wasn't funny and 2) there
wasn't a likable character within eyesight. That's a tough summit to crest if
you want to deliver a respectable thirty minutes of small-screen entertainment.
The first season? Total failure in both respects. The second season? Total
failure in both respects.

Calling House of Lies a "comedy" is employing the word far
too liberally than it was designed. There are smarmy elements, but this show is
more soap than anything. So, you know, I'll let complaint number one slide. The
show is not funny; but I'm not entirely sure that's the point.

The characters? Yeah, I'd assume the writers did want us to give half a crap
about their lot in life. If that's the point, then the scope of the show's
failure is staggering. Not a single one these stiffs bring anything worthwhile
to the table:

MartyThis season, Marty looks at leveraging his infamy into a
new professional venture while also dealing with his son Roscoe and his suddenly
freeloading younger brother. He's smart and cunning, but pretty far up his own
tailpipe and can't stop turning to the camera and breaking the fourth wall. I
feel this irritating trope was dialed down from the last season, but it happens
enough to remind you that the leading man is a dink.

JeannieShe's supposedly the firm's greatest high-riser, but all
Jeannie does this season is attempt to fight through a drunken haze to figure
out if she banged Marty at the end of last season. Also, she starts dating a sex
toy manufacturer. Frankly, the great Kristen Bell is utterly wasted here. Any of
her innate charm is stamped out thanks to the ham-fisted writing. She's also
supposed to be this genius consultant, but I can't recall anything she did that
was particularly clever.

ClydeIn Parks and
Recreation, Ben Schwartz plays Jean-Ralphio, an oblivious douchebag. In
House of Lies, Ben Schwartz plays Clyde, an oblivious douchebag. But
where the former is awesome and hilarious because he's an over-the-top parody,
the latter is terrible because he's just as douchey, but straight. It's actually
pretty remarkable: Schwartz is essentially playing the same character; one just
might be the funniest creation on TV and the other the most annoying. We're
talking a matter of degrees here, people.

DougDoug is a not a real person. He makes no decision a
functioning human would make, much less a professional consultant.

Actually, none of these detestable morons are real. And when the writers
hint at putting them into positions where their smallness is revealed (Jeannie's
blind date, Clyde tying a man's death to a deal eh worked), the repercussions
are glossed over and it's back to partying and pimping. Are we supposed to be
pulling for these ass-clowns?