Sometimes I respond to emails that are from little kids, and then I get irate emails from a parent or grandparent yelling at me for something I didn't even mean to do! But no worries. I straighten everything out in the end.
Here I've included fake pictures of each family member for your amusement.

I REALY DONT FIND THIS DRESS UP SHOULD BE ONLINE!!!!! ITS TAKING THE MICKY OUT OF JESUS AND IM NOT ACHRISTIAN

HATREDLY FROM KAYLEIGH
P.S. YOUR SCUM

My scum?

WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS E-MAIL ABOUT? QUITE HONESTLY I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, I DO LET MY GRANDAUGHTER USE MY PC AND IF SOMETHING HAS BEEN SENT OUT THEN I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT, I AWAIT YOUR REPLY, I AM CERTAINLY NOT SCUM.

BARB

Well somebody from your email address sent me a letter calling me scum of the earth! Can you believe it? Yeah! The person even said that she hated me by saying: "HATREDLY FROM KAYLEIGH!"

I mean, what's that all about? I'm a person too ya know! And I didn't ask for her to email me, she just did for no reason what so ever! And even though she said she's not a Christian that's still no excuse to name call me! And it's all because I made a game that she played and I guess it didn't work right for her or something, and maybe I didn't fix the game fast enough or something, but either way, I shouldn't have to fix things that quickly just because someone yells at me to, you know?

I believe that you should ground little Kayleigh. I think it'd only be fair. My feelings were hurt. I'm sorry, but I will not rest until I hear that young Kayleigh Haime has been grounded.

Now good day to you both!
Bob

* * * * *

I'll, of course, keep you all posted on any response I get here.

“FRYING
IN HELL...”

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME FRYING IN HELL...

Elizabeth Brown
ebrown@solusfinancial.com

And oh how you want me to fry sooner rather than later.
Maybe if you fly a plane into a building you'll get your wish?

Bob

“That
probably was not the right thing to say... Why all the hatred?”

That probably was not the right thing to say. Why would you do
that to Jesus? Why all the hatred? Even if you don't
believe in him why would you think that is funny?

Elizabeth Brown
ebrown@solusfinancial.com

Because the same mentality that believes in Jesus also
believes in Mohammed, and I don't want the well being of all
civilization to be at the hands of people of faith. Faith can make all
your enemies devils and well worth the price of a couple planeloads of
people. It's scary as hell, and your "faith" idea needs to be
corrected.

Bob

“Why
live if there is nothing after?”

So I suppose that you think that when you die that you will what? Just
go back into the groud? Why live if there is nothing after?
What is the purpose of you life? What makes it worth living?

Elizabeth Brown
ebrown@solusfinancial.com

I can't believe you're saying what you're saying!
Why live? I suppose you'd argue the only purpose we have as a
species is to worship the Supreme Being, tell everyone else they're
going to fry in hell, then wait to die?!?

THERE ARE PLENTY OF REASONS TO LIVE, ELIZABETH! We have loved ones and
families and friends, and fellow human beings, and mysteries to solve,
and sunlight to sit in, and art to make, and art to see, and laughs to
be had, and love to be felt, and progress to make, and things to learn,
and intercourse to enjoy! Are you kidding me?? Has your belief in this
"God creature" convinced you there is no other reason to be alive than to serve him and condemn everyone else?!??!!?

I am disturbed by both you and your philosophy.
Bob

“I
don't know about you but my life 85% of the time is stress and waiting
for the weekend. Then on the weekend I take care of kids and
clean my house.”

But life is just for a short amount of time 75-90yrs max. Some
people even die before. I am in love with the fact that there is
an afterlife where there is no pain or tears. Where I am filled
with joy and peace I don't know about you but my life 85% of the time
is stress and waiting for the weekend. Then on the weekend I take
care of kids and clean my house. I am also a recovery addict who
has been clean for 2 years. All of this is a job. I am
ready for peace and joy in my life.

Elizabeth Brown
ebrown@solusfinancial.com

Yeah, it sounds like you need the lie to get through the
day. That's fine and I'm glad to see you admitting to it. Does
anticipating others frying in hell help you through the day too?

Bob

“What
happens when no one understands you? I guess that you talk to
yourself. That's a lot of pressure on one being...”

Knowing that unbelievers will go to hell: That
makes me kind of sad. But you know what Bob everyone gets a choice what
they will do will their life you can choose the light or you can stay
in the darkness. I pray that you will get saved before you take your
dieing breath. I know that is not what you want to hear but it's
probably the best thing anyone will ever say to you. I hope one day
that you will get from under the lie. You must have a pretty empty
life. What happens when no one understands you? I guess that you talk
to yourself. That's a lot of pressure on one being...

Elizabeth Brown
ebrown@solusfinancial.com

Unfortunately for you, Mrs. Elizabeth Brown, you've
already exposed your reasons for believing such tall tales about
eternal paradise. Fortunately for me no matter how much you hate your
life and how hard you believe in God, Heaven for you and eternal suffering for
others, it's still not enough to make it all so. If it were we'd all
surely be frying in Elizabeth Brown's hell holding our ears to shut out
Elizabeth Brown's laughter, as Elizabeth Brown basks in Elizabeth
Brown's heavenly bliss. What a future you paint for yourself!

It's amusing to me how you just finished explaining to me your
desperation for anything other than what you've got, and then accuse me
of having the empty life and talking to myself when no one understands
(an action you call praying). What you're doing here is called
"Projecting," and you're doing it
beautifully, I might add.

You're right. That is a lot of pressure on one being. I hope you
find the happiness with your loved ones here while you're all still
alive together, because you aren't going to find answers to these
problems in your bible's promises of paradise if you love God more than
your own family.

I know you're not going to believe this but I don't fantasize about you
frying in hell.
Gosh, what a sparkly little gem of a belief you've got there, Liz.
Bob