Learning To Choose A Context* In My Marriage

In my 27 year relationship with my husband Bob, the women have helped me tremendously to be a successful and loving wife. I’d like to share three relationship lessons that I received early in my marriage, that helped me create a more intimate relationship with Bob.

Lesson #1: I called a woman to complain about something Bob had done. When I finished venting, she started laughing and said to me, “You need to get a bigger problem.”

Lesson #2: I called a woman to tell her I wanted Bob to show me love more spontaneously. She said to me, “Just because your husband doesn’t love you the way you want him to doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you with all his heart.”

Lesson #3: I was discussing with a woman my frustration over something Bob was contemplating and she said to me, “Do you realize you have made your husband wrong and he hasn’t even done anything yet?”

So many things came to light for me about my relationship skills, or lack thereof, when these conversations took place. Women were able to support me to shift my context, my way of being that keeps me out of a negative attitude, in an instant.

Two great gifts of being in the Family of Women are having women in my life who tell me the truth and being able to shift my context for the benefit of all my relationships.

~Connie, California

*[Editor’s note: A “context” is an intentionally chosen way of being that consciously guides your behaviors (actions and reactions). In interactions with others, a context will guide how you are being with that person. Find women near you to explore this concept further.]