Sighence posted:

Gamerofthegame posted:

Bombogenesis posted:

Sir, I feel that at times like these it is best to jump in at random! Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Requesting deployment to column 8, row 12.

I don't know that I support your methods, Pvt. Bombogenesis, but you're getting results--little as they are.

GNU Order posted:

Now that we have a clear board, punch that smug fucking smiley face to teach him that he's not safe.

Sir.

You leave that poor smiley alone!

Gamerofthegame posted:

Sir, a recommendation! Maybe some sort of easy-overlay to make reporting positions easier by marking the X and Y axis with numbers.

PS, two from the top, three right.

That would be convenient, wouldn't it? But this is the Canadian Military. We don't get to have "convenient". We get to have whatever our cheap-ass government deems we get to have. And we get this training simulator.

PS, what about "two from the top, three right?" You gonna plant a flag there or start jumping up and down on it? Think hard.

Pyroi posted:

Sir, Private Ricky thinks that it should be safe to check Row 6, Column 1. Just in case, the rest of the Viscera Cleanup Squad will remain on standby for his terrible and bloody demise.

Related note, where do you want the kidneys?

Shit. That's not how we do it in the Canadian Military, Pvt. Pyroi. If you've got a suggestion, you go on in yourself. Here, lemme give you a little shove. No, I insist. Here. Wait, come on now--just--for god's sake, just--

shit.

Bobbin Threadbare posted:

Sir, going by a grid where the columns are letters, the rows are numbers, and the top left corner is A1, there are mines on locations C2, D6, C10, D10, E10, C14, C15, D14, C7, and M14, sir.

I like your thinking, Pvt. I say we implement it. We'll refer to columns as letters and rows as numbers.

biosterous posted:

Sir! Airman requesting permission to paradrop to Row 8, Column 11!

Ah, hold on. I do believe we're in for some fireworks.

Heavy neutrino posted:

Oh no! There are lost puppies on each of the four middle tiles! I'm going to save them, SIR!

Not impressed, Pvt. KIA. The puppies were an American trap, designed to luring in unsuspecting. Let that be a lesson to us all!

MusketeerJesus posted:

SIR! I'm going to jump really hard on the top center tile of the right most side.

Yup. Looks good. Let's try and clear this grid, soldiers.

Baron O Beefdip posted:

Changing drop kick target to the bottommost counterpart of that 1 sir!

Bombogenesis posted:

The four-corners opener can only work for so long. Moving to D15, sir!

Alright. Some badasses!

Ramos posted:

Soldier, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Corners again!

Should've listened to Pvt. Bombogenesis. I shouldn't be laughing, but damn.

nine-gear crow posted:

Oh. That Bret Hart. Yeah, I know who he is. I was just playin' with you all. He played violin at my wedding.

Carlioo posted:

I thought he was a hitman, not a soldier?

"Hitman" is his nickname, soldier.

unwantedplatypus posted:

Sir, why are we herded into a minefield like some sort of Russian conscript? Does high command really want us to run into mines until we've blown ourselves up? No, they've put us in a box. A box full of pain and mines. No matter how many mines we clear there is always more. The only way to get out of this box is to institute a code red and Smash that red X button like your life depends on it sir. This is a test of Canadian craftiness, and we shall succeed.

Private, you are asking waaaay more questions than I'm comfortable with you asking. I suggest you cut it out. And do. Not. Touch. That. X. I mean it. Stay away. No--stop it! Hold on--