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“A man travels the world

in search of what he needs,

and returns HOME

to find it.”

-george moore

What IS Love?

In my work, I travel often to all kinds of different places, cultures, scenery, and people I don’t yet know. I love it, but as I get home to my own home and sink my head into my own pillow in my own bed, and find myself surrounded by my family, I realize what truly matters most.

Studies show that family relationships can bring joy and meaning to life. If that makes you twitch, don’t worry, we’re all a work in progress, but when we learn to see those relationships as opportunities for growth, increased love, and potential joy, our lives begin to change.

A friend shared her struggles about their family relationships with me recently. I actually don’t think a family exists that doesn’t have a mix of healthy and unhealthy behaviors brewing…but how we deal with those can either make or break us.

When we start to see everyone in our close circles and real and meaningful, and understand their limitations, their pains, their joys, and what they are about, our hearts begin to shift.

When a person is immersed in destructive behavior, it tends to have roots. And when their behavior effects us negatively, we ultimately have to realize that we can’t change them, but we must change the way we react to them. My dad (a retired Phsychologist) said that over and over again.

No family is perfect, but ironically much of the growth we go through in life comes about because of our family relationships. So whether it’s healthy or not isn’t the question, it’s how we allow those primary relationships to direct our paths.

I think that seeing each family member where they are, understanding that they are doing the best they know how to do with the tools they’ve been given, we can start to let go of our own unhealthy expectations. They are where they are for a reason, and typically can’t see why things aren’t working for them.

But once we let go of our expectations of them, our hearts begin to change.

We can see them where they are and love them there…that is the beginning of uncondtional true love.

And when we learn to love unconditionally, we grow in leaps and bounds and that’s when we become healthy…inside and out. What we think, feel, and conquer truly makes us who we are.

With those thoughts in mind, how long has it been since we shared our feelings of love with those who should matter the most to us? Maybe it’s time….After all, it’s worth it 🙂