Monday, September 15, 2008

In search of the butt bra

Lets just say I have an ample backside. It's not quite a shelf booty but let's say I identify with the term "bootylicious".

Most of the time I'm ok with it. It's my lot in life. Hell, I'd much rather have some then none. In fact, some days if you get me in the right jeans I'm rather likin' what I was given. But that's in heavy denim. Denim that holds and lifts and shapes.

Lightweight cotton culottes do not. But I wore them anyway last week as it was due to be a scorching day and anything else just seemed...well... hot.

That happened to be the day I needed to run Downtown to the Post Office and overnight a package. I knew it would be a zoo there and I knew I only had a half an hour so I jog-walked the seven or so blocks from my work.

And as I did. I felt. The jiggle.

I do not like to jiggle. It's probably one of the worst feelings in the world for me and probably accounts for the reason I don't like Jello. But I digress.

Ask my hubby. He knows I have jiggle issues. If he playful slaps my behind and it jiggles, well I stop feeling playful and the claws come out.

"DID YOU JUST MAKE ME JIGGLE ?" I'll screech in a voice he's come to know as the if- you-do-it-again-I'm-going-to-go-all-medieval-on-your-ass-voice.

"Uh, sorry" he'll say cowering in fear.

Yep,I'm like that. It's not pretty.

So I got to thinking as I unhappily jiggled down the hill. We have bras so that our boobies don't jiggle with reckless abandon as we lead our active lifestyles.

Why not a bra for those of us with badonk-a-donks ? I picture something very closely resembling a bra with two cups but rather then shoulder straps having a waist strap.

Because you just can't get enough of me...

or you know, I could, like, come directly to your inbox too...

I used to be Worker Mommy. Then WM. And while I like a certain degree of anonymity, I'm getting confused with all these "identities". In case you're wondering I still work and I'm still a "mommy". But now just plain old Stacey: generally sarcastic, perpetually tired and maybe a little goofy thrown in for good measure. Wife to hubby and mom to twins B(son) and J(daughter),11 stepdaughters TomGirl, 21 and GT,19, and one furbaby.
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