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You know where you are? You’re in the dungeon baby!

Se, between writing for An Age Undreamed Of (The working title for the Conan game), work, my Star Wars game (Which I’ve been taking notes for and will update you on) and a few vists from the Black Dog, I’ve been a bit pre-occupied. Naturally, when I’m trying to write something, brain will try to write something else.So, having seen the card game Welcome to the Dungeon a few weeks ago, brain immediately thought of the Guns and Rose’s song followed by “That’s a good idea for a con one-shot.” Over the next few hours it evolved into a game show esque concept and I mentally filed the idea away. Bad move. It stuck. So, in order to get it out of my system, here’s a rough edit of the opening credits of Welcome to the Dungeon!

[OPENING ECHO PEDAL GUITAR BIT OF SONG] Camera swoops down through a huge mountain range, taking us to the entrance to DUNGEON STADIUM, a massive pair of bronze and iron doors in the side of the mountain. They open and the camera enters, revealing the stadium, a massive complex filled with traps and monsters flanked by rows of audience members cheering wildly and waving giant foam weapons excitedly.

[VOCALS KICK IN]Welcome to the dungeon, we got the fun and games
We got everything you want, honey we know the names.
[SHOTS OF OUR HOSTS]
We are the people who can find, whatever you may need
[LOVING SHOTS OF ADVENTURERS GEAR – COILS OF ROPE, GLEAMING WEAPONS, HEALING POTIONS ETC]If you got the money honey, we got your disease
[SHOTS OF ADVENTURERS BEING TURNED TO STONE, CONVULSING ETC. REAL JOHN HURT MOMENT TYPE STUFF]
Welcome to the dungeon, we take it day by day,
If you want it you’re gonna bleed, but that’s the price you pay.
[SHOTS OF COMBAT – BLOOD SPURTING, LIMBS SEVERING, THAT SORT OF THING]
Cause when you’re high you never, ever want to come down, suck down, suck down…
[ADVENTURERS FALLING FROM LEDGES, BEING GRABBED BY MONSTERS, FALLING INTO PIT TRAPS ETC][GUITAR SOLO]
[SHOTS OF SWIRLING AND MESSY MELEE COMBATS]
You know where you are? You’re in the dungeon baby, you’re gonna die!
[PAN AROUND SHOT OF BAND OF ADVENTURERS, ADVANCING MONSTERS ON ALL SIDES]
[AS SONG STARTS TO COME TO AN END, CAMERA MOVES BACK THROUGH DUNGEON STADIUM, GETTING FASTER AND FASTER, WITH THE FINAL SHOT OF THE DOORS SLAMMING CLOSED ON “It’s gonna bring you down huh!”NPC’s:
OUR HOSTS: Let’s call them BOB and DAVE for the moment.
The IN DUNGEON CORRESPONDENT, a Valkyrie who’se constantly unhappy about the skimpy and impractical armour she’s forced to wear for the show.
THE SAGE: Who tells the audience what’s in the room the Adventurers are about to enter and the week’s themed Dungeon Rooms.
THE THIEF: Pops up from time to time to try to steal from the party and exchange terrible dad jokes wih OUR HOSTS.

So, the game itself. It’s currently a rather lethal game show, sort of The Running Man crossed with The Crystal Maze. I should also watch some Takeshi’s Castle and It’s a Knockout while I’m at it I guess. Sure, there’s the needing two GM’s (And I know two people who’d be magnificent at it) and I still can’t decide what GM’s would have to wear between the horrible neon suits you can find at Lowes or wizards robes made of fabric that’s cheaper than dirt.Lastly, what system do I run it with? Or, for that matter, do I run it as a freeform, or even a LARP? *ponders* I should sleep now. G’night all!