I know we ask this a lot, but where else but in Florida would something so absurd happen? The manager at a CVS in Port St. Lucie, Fla. saw Alyson Strosser stealing tampons, cheap wine, and other ingredients necessary for a romantic Florida evening, and called her out on it.

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Strosser jumped into her Ford Explorer and sped home, where she set up her defenses against the police raid she knew was coming. The cops found her hiding in a cardboard box in her garage. We're wondering if it said "fort" on the side in big, scrawly magic markered letters.