I want some abuse!!! - extremely silly-

1.
Posted byPardus(Respected Member 2356 posts) 12y
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DISCLAIMER: This thread is meant to be extremely silly and not to be taken seriously at all. Anybody who reads on will waive all rights to complain about the language used in it. All insults are directed to the creator of this thread who doesn't take offense, therefore the posts are not offensive!

If you don't like my kind of humour please leave the thread now.

Okay, you have been warned!

As some of you might know I had the pleasure the other of being beaten savagely by a frying pan, rubber hose and various items of kitchen utensils. But now I want more!

I want you to give me the most creative verbal abuse (insults, curses, anything you like) you can think off! Go ahead and give me your worst! If you're up for it please let me know if you would like to be abused back by me....The best taunters will get the opportunity to travel to Scotland and climb up a castle of own choice and shout abuse from the Walls at any passing Kings or other members of the aristocratic elite. The author will personally come up for none of the costs incurred on the trip.

If you need any inspirations I recommend Monty Python and the Holy Grail (The French Taunter) or Monty Python's Flying Circus (just fast forward until you see John Cleese get a read face... Then go back a bit to get the build up...)

Incidentally, here is some Trivia I learned from watching The Holy Grail (yes, you can learn from Monty Python): In the Middle Ages each army had at least one guy whose job it was to taunt the Enemy army. Brilliant job, but the only drawback to that was that most of the times the enemy army would specifically search out the Taunter. Just thought you might be interested....

BRING IT ON!

2.
Posted byCupcake(Travel Guru 8468 posts) 12y
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You asked for it Pumpkin

"We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault." Ashleigh Brilliant

"Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?" Groucho Marx

"Well, I think we ought to let him hang there. Let him twist slowly, slowly in the wind." John Ehrlichman

"What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank." Liberace

"Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?" Milton Berle

"You're a parasite for sore eyes." Gregory Ratoff

"Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week." William Dean Howells

"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped." Groucho Marx

"Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence." Ashleigh Brilliant

"The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind." Joseph Stilwell

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." Groucho Marx

"The greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread." William Keegan

"Time wounds all heels." Groucho Marx

"She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers." Alexander Woollcott

"She's been on more laps than a napkin." Walter Winchell

"She's got such a narrow mind, when she walks fast her earrings bang together." John Cantu

"She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees." Joan Rivers

"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know." Groucho Marx

"She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong." Mae West

"She's the sort of woman who lives for others -- you can tell the others by their hunted expression." C. S. Lewis

"So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name." Alan Bennett

"She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation." Jean Webster

"She never was really charming till she died." Terence

"She not only expects the worst, but makes the worst of it when it happens." Michael Arlen

"She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious." W. Somerset Maugham

"You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?" Groucho Marx

"She proceeds to dip her little fountain-pen filler into pots of oily venom and to squirt the mixture at all her friends." Harold Nicholson

3.
Posted byBrendan(Respected Member 1824 posts) 12y
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