One Click Too Many

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Mazuma is a service that will buy your ‘old’ phone when you
can’t sell it to your friends or the local dodgy phone shop. Their mascot is a
little red creature that is adorable and also incredibly irritating to look at.
Just look at that asshole's little face:

So pleased with itself

I want to just gently pick it up and snuggle it against my
face, possibly with a tiny eskimo kiss. But I also can’t stand to look at its smug
expression. I share these conflicted emotions with the actors in their adverts,
which is good since they’re forcing their cute little pal into an envelope and selling
it to the unknown. What awaits beyond the envelope? Slavery? Violence? Death? Should
you feel bad for the poor little asshole? Find out more after the click.

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Like you, I have a Zombie Plan. It’s very interesting what
your plan can sometimes say about you. Some people want to kill themselves
immediately to avoid the trauma and constant burden of hardcore survival. If
they’re running zombies then even I will admit this is a strong Plan B. Some
people want to head north and wait for the zombies to freeze. Some want to head
south where it’ll be warm and fertile. Some just want to go zombie-hunting. Some
want to loot. Some want to seal themselves underground in a nuclear fallout
shelter. Some want to find a blimp and coast breezily over the apocalypse.

Yes this seems feasible

Those people in the fallout shelter might have the right
idea. The other day someone pointed out to me that nuclear power plants
require constant attendance. Otherwise within two weeks, the coolant will have
evaporated. That’s an important component. Without it, people start using words
like ‘radiation poisoning’ and ‘disaster’ and ‘meltdown’. There are currently nine
active nuclear power plants in the UK.

After the break, we’ll see how this factor can be included
in the Zombie Plan.

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

I’m back! If anyone cares, the years of silence were because
I went to space. For years. Yeah, it was a pretty big deal. They made me their
king. You probably didn’t hear about it in the mainstream media. Anyway, I was
called back to planet Earth because someone wrote this on Facebook:

Identity redacted in a fetching puce/violet shade

So, due to the overwhelming popular demand of one person,
after the page break we’re gonna kick things off by looking at some of the
adverts for the upcoming 2014 World Cup in Brazil! Get it? KICK things off? HA!
Still got it.

Friday, 24 May 2013

There is a massive hole in your knowledge, and mine. None of
us really know where stuff comes from any more. At best a label can tell us the
nation of origin, but how does that help us? This was especially obvious a
while ago when there was a big news story about horse meat in supermarket
lasagne. A lot of people said that the consumers shared the blame. We had been
warned for years that food hygiene standards were unreliable in low-budget,
planet-wide food systems – then we were shocked to find out what that meant. But
if you can’t believe in a faceless international conglomerate, who can you believe in? I am literally
asking if there are any brands we can truly trust.

Luckily, several companies have done something
revolutionary. In the interests of transparency, they have produced 30-second adverts
that show exactly what conditions are like in their main factory. It turns out
everything is much more like Willy Wonka’s factory than we ever suspected. Let’s
take a look at them after the click.

Thursday, 11 April 2013

After a brief absence (I will never write a 4-part post
ever again)
there are some new adverts to talk about. The most memorable are two for the Fiat 500L entitled ‘Fatherhood’ and ‘Motherhood’. You may have seen them
already without even realising, but that only means their influence has been
insidious.

After the click we’ll get depressed about parenting because
apparently that sells cars.

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Pull up your pants and pay attention. I meant underwear, not
trousers, because I know exactly what you’re doing and it’s not required for
this blog post. See the tricky language barrier that I just played with, between
US English and International English? It’s a cliché that whenever the British
and Americans talk, the subject will come up. And why not? It can be a good
ice-breaker and dialogue improves international relations, as evidenced by the
interactions between Brad and Dave in the adverts for Enterprise UK Car Hire
(aka Enterprise Car Rental).

No? Well, come on then:

See? Comedy gold! It’s taken the advertising world a
surprisingly long time to make use of this unique dynamic – or at least for it
to register on my limited radar. After the click we can find out more about
this hilarious comedy-duo character-act.

Friday, 19 October 2012

I’ve written before about vehicles with faces, namely Thomas the Tank Engine vs Tugs. Tugs won although it never enjoyed the same
success. But the work of Clearwater Studios is not the only time people have put
faces on inanimate vehicles. One of my favourite Tex Avery cartoons (and there
are a few) is Little Johnny Jet which is only five minutes long:

Ain’t it weird? Mr and Mrs Plane are shagging like rabbits!
After the click let’s find out more about living planes, trains and cars – and also
about the world’s most annoying helicopter.