GRAND PRIX DU CANADA (F-1) BY BULLGUIN

Posted on May 20th, 2011 by .

So, last night I’m running on the spot and watching the entire Fast and Furious franchise (a fabulous documentary series starring Paul Walker) with the help of several TVs lined up in a row and I was all, “Fast cars!” which reminded me of my mom who loves that Tracy Chapman song Fast Carbecause it’s “the story of my life/that’s how you were born,” or something but anyway, this got me thinking about Montreal and racecars. And this got me thinking about palindromes, which got me thinking about my first haircut which naturally led me to think about Vin Diesel which got me thinking about highly refined extinct animals and fossil fuels which got me thinking about the Grand Prix du Canada, aka F-1, aka Montreal’s Grand Prix…

The Grand Prix is a very big deal. Who wouldn’t want to see cars drive in circles really fast. Based on the helpful notes my mom wrote on my under clothes: the Grand Prix runs from June 10-12, you’re such a good boy and everybody really likes you even if they say they don’t. Oh, disregard that last part. The important thing to remember is that everybody really likes me. And the Grand Prix is from June 10to June 12which promises to be a waterslide of fun.

There’s this guy, his name is Sebastian Vettel, and he’s the king of the racing world right now. But he isn’t knighted like that Sir Jackie Stewart (Jackie? Really?) but maybe he will be one day even though he’s not British, he’s German but what I’m saying is he’s that good. Sebastian Vettel is going to be here in Montreal racing pretty fast for Red Bull.

Being the current world champ would be stressful, considering everyone mostly wants you not to be the champ anymore, like the 40 other race car drivers who will be in Montreal like Charles Leclerc and Xavier Coupal, Nathan Block and Aaron McCauley and that hot shoe New Zealander Chris Vlok. But I’m most excited to see the strong family values of father-son duo Gilles Villeneuve and Jacques Villeneuve because I’ve always considered my mom and I to be a father-son duo too.

But I think the real question is, what are these drivers trying to get away from at such breakneck speed? If it’s just to hear the sound of applause then maybe they should gets some CDs of applause and play them on their discman like I do. Doesn’t Sebastian Vettel’s mom wonder why he drives so fast? Tracy Chapman tell me, and I will listen.

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