Beer Theory

Courtesy of Prentiss F.

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." - Babe Ruth

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Lyndon B. Johnson

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Paul Hornung

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! - George Bernard Shaw

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry

BEER: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C. - W.C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. - Professor Irwin Corey

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can! - Leo Durocher