Monday, December 13, 2010

I have found a blogger role model. She writes a blog called Hyperbole and a Half (which you should check out because it is pretty entertaining). She draws all her own cartoons and in her Frequently Asked Questions section, she mentions she makes enough money from blog advertisements that she can pretty much blog as her full time job. (Hence, the newly visible ads in the right side of JollyBloggin....tell your friends)

After reading through Hyperbole and a Half, I started thinking of my own funny stories that that I could illustrate in my blog. So in pure copy-cat mode, I began drawing my own cartoons too. They're not too good so give me a break or have few drinks before you look at them...

This memory is of a particular experience of the "Miss Piggy Game." Which isn't actually a game at all, but rather a cruel form of torture where one party, usually the bigger, older, stronger sisters, gang up on the unsuspecting ignorant little sister. They first mention that "hey, did you know that if you hold your nose up like miss piggy and someone smacks you on the back, your nose will stay like that forever!" Then they proceed to hold your hands down while one sister holds up your nose and the other starts wailing on your back while you scream in fear of forever having a piggy nose and oh what types of names they will call you at school!!! Yep. It happened to me. Sheer torture. Now you know a little more about where I'm coming from...

My mom oftentimes dressed us up in matching pink dresses, because oh what sweet little angels she wanted us to come across as to strangers....

Devil Children

This memory is from one time in college....

I was at a bar in New Brunswick, NJ called the Golden Rail. It was a couple weeks after I had an ultimate frisbee-induced stress fracture in my foot. I had to use crutches for maybe 3 days, and then I had to use a rehabilitating walking boot for the next couple weeks. Oh poor little me. Fresh on my newly heeled legs and out on the town again, I decided to strike up a friendly conversation with this stranger at the bar who, oh look what we have in common!, is on crutches. For lack of anything else to talk about I start blabbering on about crutches and how much they suck.

"Aren't they the worst?! I mean people are always looking at you funny..The crutches rub your armpits the wrong way. and then you get this painful rash.. You trip up on chair legs.... Trying to carry anything, while getting around- Impossible! Crutches are so annoying! But don't worry, it's only temporary.....I should know, I just got off them and, phew what a relief!"

He is obviously not interested in talking to me at all, which makes me nervous, which makes me fill the awkward silence and continue to blab about crutches and how awful they are and I even go as far to say "I know how you feel."

Which at that point he sternly cuts me off with, "You have NO IDEA how I feel!!!"

I finally look down and see that he has one leg. He is right. I have no idea how that feels. And I hope no one else has to feel as awkward as I did at that moment. [Insert Foot in Mouth HERE] Hang your head and walk away.

To end this post on a happier note, I leave you with a more uplifting and slightly less awkward college story...

This story takes place right around the time as the previous one. A couple of my high school girl friends came up to Rutgers for the weekend and we are headed out to a list of parties. One party in particular I was invited to by a guy I had met the weekend before at a Jell-O wrestling party on Hamilton Street. At this Jell-O wrestling party I was still wearing my walking boot from the aforementioned frisbee-induced fracture, so I did not partake in the wrestling aspect of the party, nor did I stay very long. But I was there long enough to grab the attention of a certain Rutgers Track and Field star wearing a green disco ball earring (kid you not) who approached me with the ever-famous pick up line of "Hey, aren't you in my physics class?" To which I replied, "Uhh I suppose, Van Heuvulin at 2:30 in the physics lecture hall, over on Busch?" It was enough of a response to warrant an invitation to the next Track party the following weekend. My hometown friends were conveniently around to let me know their first impressions.....

Well my one friend's first impression was.."yea, he's pretty cute, but who is that hunk of a friend he's got!?" AND there goes that friend for the rest of the night....

Like most of college, the details of the rest of the night were a bit blurry, (I blame it on sleep deprivation) but the ending of the night could not have been more memorable. Trevor walked me home from the party because my friend was no where to be found. We were hanging out on my front porch and eventually Trevor gets a call from his friend who is with my friend and says he is going to come by and drop off my friend and pick up Trevor. Got it?

We wait a few minutes and Trevor's friend's car pulls up, but no one gets out right away. We can see they are in the midst of a good-bye smooch. Me in my I'm-so-funny-mode decide that this is the perfect time to startle and embarrass them by putting my mouth and nose up to the car window and blowing some steam at them interrupting their lovers' embrace. Overly-excited by my newly formed idea and excitedly aware that there is a very quickly approaching window of time in which to pull this stunt off, I quickly stumble down the porch stairs with my mouth open and !!surprise attack!!! shove my face up against their window....teeth first and... CRACK...there goes my tooth.....again...