Friday, January 09, 2009

So here's the moment you're all talking about even if you didn't see it. Two Best Actress winners: Anne Hathaway winning for Rachel Getting Married and Meryl Streep for Doubt, with the wondrous Viola Davis expressing proxy gratitude and having fun, too.

I love the cutaways to Angelina Jolie because you can make up all sorts of unintentional fictional narratives (Evil Angie is pissed. Demur Princess Anne sees it and apologizes. Angie Still Pissed!) by projecting any emotion you'd liketo onto Jolie's "I am a Goddess!" marble bust routine*. Loves it.

Bonus points: Every sentient being knows that Meryl Streep gives the best awards show acceptance speeches in the known universe so isn't it a riot that even when she's not there she ends up providing one of the best speech moments?

So, though I never in my life thought I'd hold up the BFCA show as a lesson to the Oscars --all of my qualms about them still stand: their show feels forced (Globe wannabe), the stars don't always show, terrible "host" decisions, weird categories that shift to honor something they want to honor [cough *new action film prize / TheDark Knight*] , and that embarrassing tendency to negate their own worth by downplaying criticism with their "we're just like you, everyone is a critic" montages and vocal "we predict the Oscars!" pride -- I do think the Oscar producers/directors would do well to note that what people care about @ awards shows is the celebrities and their emotional moments. How can you get this much drama and enjoyable narrative out of 45 second speeches with the orchestra interrupting them? You can't. Unless every winner is as quick witted and old pro cool as Meryl Streep. They aren't.

Are you listening Bill Condon? Kill two or three of the usually five or six montages/tributes, kill any musical numbers that don't double as awards/category spotlights (obviously leave in the Best Songs and let Hugh Jackman have a short song & dance moment). You'll suddenly have enough time to let the winners cry/shake/laugh/freak out and eventually get to their coherent thank yous and thoughts.

I had to laugh out loud when I saw this clip on youtube. The bitchy face Angelina makes is hilarious. Did she really expect to win? And imagine her face when she doesn't win the Oscar, or doesn't even get nominated for it! Ha, to see this.

Anne's speech was 1/2 endearing, 1/2 annoying... endearing because she seemed genuinely happy to get it and made fun of how she was in the princess movies and never wins awards, and because she genuflected to Meryl for half of it, but annoying because it totally plays into the deglam/princess narrative that's dominated best actress all this decade:

Lightweight Hollywood princess makes good in shocking deglam role, proceeds to revert back to default "Lightweight Hollywood princess" default state during awards speeches. SO played out and annoying. I'm so over the princesses. Give me Meryl any day. Or better yet, Kate, who'll probably give us some dirty British humor.

The cutaways to Jolie were brilliant, though. Who are the people who scout the audience for juicy expressions and then focus in? Job well done. I almost want her to be nominated now just for this. And Nat, could you change her oscar picture in the awards pages to this stone-faced Greek goddess one? Please?

Though my favorite was when Anne was talking about all the brilliant actresses who WEREN'T nominated, and they cut to oscar fall-off Kate Beckinsale, who looked sad. Brilliant.

You know, if Angelina had a PR monster like a Stephen Huvane (Hathaway's), or PR agent period who was out lobbying to get her nominated, some of the thoughts you are transferring onto Angelina might make sense. But since she was snubbed last year, since she doesn't employ an agent to 'campaign' for her - just how do you come up with this stuff. I mean, I know it must be tempting to want to take one of the most famous actresses in the world down a peg, if you think she's the most conceited Global Humanitarian of all - but right now, this to me, is looking a LOT like nothing, not only THAT, it's looking a lot like the Jolie Golden Globe smear of 2007. Where oddly enough she got 'attacked,' for her expressions or lack thereof (SUPPOSEDLY) on the red carpet. They did a NYT hit piece, the infamous US 'Twisted Double Life,' - call me a conspiracy theorist, but this all looks VERY strategically planned, just like before. I'm glad Angelina has her children, Brad, and her good works, because Hollywood really works her over. Maybe the goal is to make her break down and finally sign with CAA (The Deathstar). If not that, it's to make Academy voters have a reason to not slot her. That's the primary one.

Angie looked more like she was trying to hold back tears. I think Anne invoking Mom's crying reminded Angie of her first big televised win, when she started her acceptance by saying "Mom, stop crying." After all, the 2nd anniversary of Angie's Mum's death is only a couple of weeks from now.

Okay, I don't know if you realized this, Nat, but now that you've posted that pic of Angelina along with your "comment du jour," we can watch her glare over at Hathaway through the ENTIRE speech. It's like a constant splitscreen catfight. Way to bypass all that pesky editing.

"Hathaway’s win (co-win) kicks her up to the next level, as they say in the biz. Right after the show ended and the cameras went off, she was congratulated by the always gracious Angelina Jolie, who didn’t win for “Changeling” but handled it like a pro. Jolie and consort Brad Pitt were also good sports when host Jason Alexander teased them during his opening monologue about the couple possibly adopting him.

Was it okay, I asked Alexander, since the joke was told right at their table and not from the safe distance of the stage.

“Yes, they went along with it,” said the one time Art Vandelay ("Seinfeld" fans know what I’m talking about). “Brad laughed, although they did look a little uncomfortable when I suggested snuggling in bed with them!”

Jolie, for her part, told me she agreed with me that Pitt was best this year in his comic role in the Coen Brothers’ “Burn After Reading.”

“I told him that, too!” she said. And don’t doubt Brangelina’s lightning star power. Their presence in a room full of stars from Clint Eastwood to Penelope Cruz is unmistakable. Flashbulbs pop in dizzying split second sequences, crowds form around their table and security guards mass along their border like soldiers in a war zone. No wonder every awards show from the Golden Globes to the National Board of Review wants them at a table. The couple is like a link to Hollywood's past glamour."

Isn't it strange that Kate Winslet didn't even bother to send someone to pick her award? I mean, isn't one of the things to do pre Oscar to be out there and get attention? For example, Meryl Streep couldn't have done a better job than picking Viola Davis, it drew positive attention to both of them.

So, basically, the BFCA are hedging their bets that Winslet will be Oscar snubbed for Rev Road and will win for The Reader. Meanwhile they couldn't decide who would actually win best actress and so "tied" it for Meryl and Anne. What a revolting awards show. Disgraceful in every regard. Did the entire BFCA member group get up onstage to award Best Picture like last year? Vile.

Angelina! Aren't we all obsessed with you! FIRST, the girl ALREADY has 3 GGs, 2 SAGs, 3 freaking CCAs, and 1 Oscar, which easily translates into one hell of an actress. Btw, her 12 yrs OLDER Mr Jolie has 1 GG!Her "problem" is that there are no directors today that can handle her, this force of nature (Eastwood "fell in love" with her & did his best).Streep is booooooooriing, zzzzzzz.Anne (who?)? Please. She was in a documentary that Angelina directed and produced.GOT IT?!

"Her "problem" is that there are no directors today that can handle her, this force of nature" Lol, now that's an easy way out, "hey, I'm so good, so even when I'm not so good, it's your fault not mine" ;-).