Nicole Richie Is Laying Down The Law

Hey, Joel Madden, you want more kids? Then, for God's sake, put a ring on it. According to Celebitchy, Nicole Richie will only have more kids if she gets married. And this seems like A) a good plan; and B) not much of a sacrifice.

First of all, despite being kinder, gentler, more evolved than past generations, kids still stand the best chance of "making it" when they live in a home with married parents who love each other. We're not body language experts and sort of find the idea of body language expertise to be a little silly, but Joel Madden and Nicole Richie seem to be retarded for each other. Do it for your current kid, do it for future kids, do it because an all Richie-Madden family version of "We Are The World" would be hilarious.

Secondly, dudes, you've already made the tough commitment. It's relatively easy to get out of a marriage but getting out of taking care of a kid is not easy. And surviving whatever narcotics it takes to shut up the voices that scream "hey, ass face, put down the needle and go take care of your kids" a crap shoot at best. We know a couple who had a "surprise" while they were dating, 1 party pressured the other into marriage by way of "what will we tell our son when he asks why we aren't married" guilt and got knocked up with a second on the honeymoon because someone wanted to lose weight for the wedding and didn't mention to the other that the pill was no longer being taken.

The Richie-Madden family doesn't need all that subterfuge. Just get hitched, have Lionel Richie sing "Hello" at the reception, honeymoon in Bora Bora (bring the au pair but off pair, Paris and Benji), establish a routine that allows everyone to enjoy their career, and, 30 years from now, write a best-selling book about the experience.

And while Nicole Richie is fresh on our minds, she's forgiven Rachel Zoe for all of the weird stuff that went down between them. Female First tells us that Zoe and her former favorite Zoebot are back to friendly terms. That's what responsible parents do; they squash the beef. Good work, Nicole Richie. Please eat more. One nit we have to pick is with the title of Rachel Zoe's television program: The Rachel Zoe Project. For our money there is only 1 The [insert celebrity's name] Project and it's The Wade Robson Project. That boy can dance.