57 responses to “Tell Me Happies”

lol. That is awesome. I love when people can be honest about their sucky days without sliding into woe is me. Let me see: happy stories…um…I am on my way to visit my new school for September where the principal is supposed to be a sane, rational woman. This will be a big change for me after this year, soooo HAPPIES!

Your husband didn’t smash the back window of your minivan this weekend with the pole he was using to prop the door open with because the hinge has been broken for a long time, necessitating a complete replacement of the hydraulic hinge, plus the back door (because you backed into it months ago with your other car, so now it’s dented AND has a broken window AND a broken hinge). And your (MERELY 8 YEAR OLD) dryer didn’t quit working last night.

I’m assuming those two things didn’t happen to you. They happened to me. I get it that shit happens, but I get annoyed when it happens to me.

Or may I offer you a laugh? From a friend’s “anti joke” meme posted on FB:

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Or how about:

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel, because it’s a bird of prey.

Ok, I love the owl one. But I’m not even gonna go into cars and appliances, because I’m having some shit luck in that department too. Thanks for the jokes and I hope your door gets fixed – and your dryer.

Not to jinx things, but no one (even the kids) are currently crying. That’s a rarity. (Although it also means listening to The Duck Song repeatedly to prevent a tantrum, but there’s a sense of happiness in the delirium that comes with too many repeats.)
And Husband is away for one more night. I love having the bed to myself.
Ah, happy times.
(Even if we all have the lurgie and I’d happily lie down and sleep for a very long time but can’t.)

A break from constant chatter? Awesome indeed! (Although your family say the wittiest things, so we could have all missed out on something golden.)
Being sent to Coventry is about as successful a punishment for a parent as being sent to your room is for a child.
Now I want to piss my children off so they won’t talk to/pester me either.

Have a laugh from me: My family has issues with giant roaches.
One time, my mamaw went into the bathroom to pee. Well, the toilet paper roll was in front of the toilet not to the side like in most normal houses. The unfortunate thing about that is that it was a bit of a lean for a short woman to reach and my grandmother didn’t do anything by half measures.

She would lean over and yank the end of the roll and catch the lightweight paper as it flew out in a streamer towards her. Then, whatever she didn’t need, she’d tear off and take back to the living room to use to blow her nose. In her mind this was efficient. No need to lean over twice to reach the roll. Right?

Except, this one time, it was a huge error in judgment. She went in and the next thing we all know mamaw (who had undiagnosed emphasyma and didn’t do anything fast) came tearing out of that bathroom and across the kitchen with her pants around her ankles. All of her pants if you get my drift. Luckily, she was moving so fast it was just a blurry streak of naked, but still that kind of thing will scar a person for life.

Turns out when she reached for the roll and yanked, there was a giant water bug on the back of the roll and she launched the damned thing into her own lap. Although the things can fly, it was probably minding its own business not thinking about flying when it was suddenly airborn. Mamaw saw it coming but couldn’t get out of the way in time. Fight or flight baby.

Whenever I’m really blue, I think back to one of the giant roach stories and get a giggle. Or the time my sister’s dog ate my uncle’s pot and threw it up all over the house- that was pretty damned funny too. I hope you get really great news soon!

I did not know you were writing a novel! That is WONDERFUL. And working so hard on it! I can’t wait to read it. I hereby offer my services as beta reader or whatever you need cause I just know it will be great. Sorry about your mom…hope she’s feeling better soon and you keep up the good work.

Well that’s good news! Mine: chickens happily munching bugs in the garden, the cat has only murdered two things today , yes I grow my own roses, and it’s stopped raining! Hope you fell better and get to the cardiologist! 😉

I’ll have my fingers crossed for you regarding the completion of that novel Steph. Mine was more a pamphlet than a novel and I wanted to throw in the towel numerous times. But it was worth it in the end. I think.

And as for some good news, I finally wrote a new post? Shameless self plug I know. Sorry…

#1 – Put the new kitty in the bathroom with a litter box so it can learn to use the litter like a good kitty. Put orange peels in your plants because kitties don’t like the smell. Spray your cords with a mist of apple cider vinegar because kitties don’t like the flavor. If that doesn’t deter the kitty, try using a mist of natural orange spray because of the smell.

#2 – For your daughter’s hair, slather it with conditioner. While it’s wet and full of conditioner, brush it out, then rinse it out. Brush it again and boom! tangle free.

What a sweetheart! I already tackled the hair successfully, but I am totally doing all the rest of these. I found out today that she’s been using the newspaper bin to do her business — I guess they probably used newspaper at the pet shelter. What great tips! Thank you!

Stop me if you’ve heard this one I made Cory believe mice were deaf once. As he was sitting there, mocking Darwin, saying I just cant believe they have those big old ears and can’t hear. I responded with and I can’t believe you believed me. Buuuutttttt, youre kitten prolly has an upper respiratory super common but also super contagious so LeeLoo is prolly going to get the sneezles too. Watery eyes, sneezing, snotty nose. Par for the course. Holla you need some antiobiotics, k?

My good news of the day is that my 1 year old was amazing at his birthday pictures photo shoot today and didn’t cry. Plus, (score one for the mom who is trying to keep her kids away from too much sugar) they gave him a cupcake to smash and he wouldn’t eat it! YAY!

I would have sent you the cupcake so you could feel better (red velvet with cream cheese frosting), but I’m not sure you would have wanted it by the time it got there and after his fingers had been in it. It’s the thought that counts….right? 🙂

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