7 Lessons from Frozen I want you learn – a letter to my daughter

You were born in October of 2013, right when the Frozen fever began. Of course, with you being a newborn and me being a new mom, watching movies was not on our priority list. However, after seeing all the little kids go crazy about it and it being the Disney movie of the year you were born, I had a goal to one day watch it with you and start our own Disney movie tradition. Little did I know that I would watch it hundreds of times, know all the songs and most of the dialogues… Yes, even though we were late to the party, the Frozen craze reached our household and at a young age. You have been watching bits and pieces and signing along to the frozen songs since you were about 15 months old. Now you are 2 and you still love it! We even watched the whole thing from start to finish for the first time just recently on one of these wintry and snowy day!

Watching it so many times has not only made me memorize lyrics and dialogue but has also made me appreciate a lot of the details about the movie. I have compiled the 7 real-life lessons I want you to learn from Frozen and wanted to write you this letter so I could share them today with you, while it’s all still fresh in my mind. You are too young to understand this now, but hopefully you will read this when you are older and you will appreciate your mom’s words of advice. So, here we go!

1. “The heart is not so easily changed… But the head, it can be persuaded.”

When Elsa strikes her sister’s head at the beginning of the movie, the old troll has some wise words of advice. He is not just talking about fixing a frozen head or heart, but giving us a metaphor about how we should always be true to our hearts. Listen to your heart. “Your heart is not so easily changed”. It will always tell you the truth. The heart is the home to all your beliefs and true values. Your head, your rationale, your thoughts, those can be “persuaded”, impacted by others, by life, be fears, and so many other things. When you need an answer, connect with yourself and listen and follow your heart!

2. “Conceal it, don’t feel it, don’t let it show.”

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“Let it go, let it go, don’t hold it back anymore”

After young Elsa accidentally hurts her sister Anna with her powers, her father tells her she needs to learn to control and hide them. There are so many lessons we can learn with this mistake. Elsa’s powers were beautiful and unique. She could create beautiful things when she used them positively. It was when she was afraid or fearful that she lost control and misused them. Her father taught her to hide her powers and those negative feelings. But, putting your feelings aside does not help you in the long run. When you don’t deal with difficult situations or feelings in your life, you never learn how to overcome those obstacles. Plus, you don’t learn how to deal with these strong emotions and might misuse them in the future. Kristoff says at some point “What made the Queen go all ice crazy?”. Here you can see what happens when you spend your life hiding your true self and not dealing with your emotions – “let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore” – she went from one extreme to the next, and that my dear, is never, ever healthy. The same way that hiding your feelings is not good, doing whatever you feel like just because you are tired of hiding or conforming to whatever norm is not healthy either. Balance is the key. Negative emotions exist. They will always be around you. You can not spend your life “concealing, not feeling, and not letting them show”. We all have to learn how to deal with the negative emotions and balance them with the positive ones. Also, everyone is unique. Everyone has their specials talents, personalities, and traits. Don’t try to bury or hide something because you are afraid. Always choose to talk about your feelings with someone understanding and learn how to manage those feelings. Always surround yourself by people who are supportive and loving.

3. The Troll Song – “Fixer Upper”

This whole song is filled with greatness, but my favorite part is this one:

Dear daughter, there are so many life lessons for you in this short paragraph. If you are anything like your mom, you will be driven to help, teach, and try to change people. Let me spare you from some years of suffering already and tell you the trolls are right – people don’t really change. Everyone has their own personality and baggage they carry, and this will always influence how they behave in this world. Yes, people do change, but THEY have to be willing to change. If they don’t want to, there’s nothing you can ever do that will make them. On a positive note, love is always the answer. If you treat people with respect and love, you can always bring out the best in them. And that’s the best we all can do!

4. “Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart”

When Elsa strikes Anna the second time around and freezes her heart, the wise old troll says that “only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart”. And once again he’s right. Some people you will meet in life, due to a variety of reasons may be more guarded, defensive, and even cold. They may or may not want to change that. But if they are open to change, the one thing that will help them is love. Never forget the love comes in all different sizes and shapes. Love is being a good friend, a concerned neighbor, a loving wife or mother, an honest person and worker. Small acts of love impact people everyday, even if we don’t realize it. Fortunately, you are still little and unaware of some of the less nice things about this world and some people. But as you get older, you will find that many people’s hearts are filled with hatred or sadness and there are a lot of not so nice things happening in this world. You will wonder why, you will ask yourself if there is anything we can do to change it. And there is: to love more! Love is the only tool that can profoundly and truly change people one by one, and with that, the world!

5. “Some people are worth melting for”

“Some people are worth melting for” is what Olaf says to Anna while he lights a fire to warm her up. He is willing to melt in order to save her. Dear daughter, I am not telling you that the lesson here is that you should sacrifice yourself to help everyone. No, not at all. But that some special people deserve that we give them all our best. This is a complicated life lesson, my dear. It involves balance, intuition, but also never neglecting ourselves. Being selfless and altruistic can be a wonderful thing, but not if that means putting aside your true self, your true feelings, and you own needs. That’s why this can be an extremely tricky situation. But once again, always listen and follow your heart and it will tell help you find the right answer.

6. “Love is putting someone else’s needs before our own”

In the beginning of the movie Anna falls in love with Hans and it seems like love at first sight. That’s what all fairy tales, princess stories, and many Classic Disney movies will tell you. Although I do believe that some people do experience love at first sight (I did, the day you were born) you have to remember that’s not how most real life love stories begin. Just because he is charming, says the right things, and sweeps you off your feet, doesn’t mean you need to get engaged tomorrow. Passion comes from our instinct, love from our heart, but we need time to truly know another person, specially another person’s heart.

Frozen is one of the first movies that begins to break the Disney Prince Charming fairy tale. At the end, you see that Hans didn’t not love Anna and just wanted to use her. Sadly, sometimes these things can happen. It is Olaf that shows Anna the meaning of true love when he tells her that “love is putting other people’s needs in front of or own”. Even though Kristoff did not want to leave Anna by herself without knowing she was ok, he did, because he thought that’s what Anna needed – to go back to Hans so he could thaw her frozen heart. Dear daughter, like I said before, neglecting yourself is never the answer. But when you love someone, there are times when you will want to do something for them because you know that’s what they need. And there should be times that they will do the same for you. Love should always make you feel special, treasured, and cared for. It should make you happy, smile, and excited about tomorrow.

7. “You sacrificed yourself for me?”

“I love you.”

The end of the movie epitomizes all the lessons we have learned throughout the movie but also brings out an important topic – sibling love! L, you are about to become a big sister and I want you to know that whatever happens you and your brother should always have each others back. You are here today because you have parents that wanted you, loved you, and wanted you to have a partner in crime for life. Always remember that and always remember that siblings are love.

Anna was willing to turn her back on Kristoff to save her sister. She thought Kristoff was the true love that would thaw her heart and save her, but still she decided to protect Elsa. That was the act of true love. The love that thawed the frozen heart. Both Anna’s heart, but also Elsa’s, who then realized that love was the only thing she needed to control her powers. Her fear and anger made her powers uncontrollable, but with love she could use them to bring joy to others.And it was her little sister who taught her that big lesson. That right there, is magical!

And there you have it. Amazing how one Disney movie can bring so much wisdom on love and life. At least that’s what your mommy’s eyes and lenses saw. Maybe one day when you are older we can watch it again and you can tell me what you think the lessons are. Whatever you do see, whatever you learn from my view,my main hope is that your heart can continue to be filled with the same love and happiness it is today, all the days of your life!