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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I don't know about you guys, but I just love scoping out all the chicks in bakeries these days.

At least, I think that's what this is. That, or a couple of apostrophes on a teeter totter.

Here's a perfectly smashing example:

Or maybe just "smashed." Heh. As you can see, the blue highlights give it "character."

Then there's the Cheater's Special:

Even using 80% plastic decor, the Wreckeratorstill managed to make Chickadee look like she's sitting on a gloomy gift-wrapped raincloud. Aw, Eeyore would be proud.

Say what you will about this next one; I think it's hilarious:

You do have to wonder if those chicken feet are made of solid icing, though. [head tilt] I mean, how do you get that much icing to stand up like that? And more importantly, do you think people who eat real chicken feet would find this gross? (Amy, m'dear? Care to weigh in?)

This last one is yellow and orange and was displayed next to some sketchy looking "bunnies", so you know what that means...

It's Dr. BokBokBokaw, the mutant chicken head sent from the future to enslave us all!!

Fortunately, despite the fact that her bio-dome keeps her almost perfectly preserved, Dr. Bokaw's minions are nothing to crow about. Some of them can't read her chicken scratch, others felt so hen-pecked that they flew the coop, and the rest are all..well...[leaning in to whisper in your ear] chickens.

Maybe there's rice krispie treats inside those feet? I don't know how you could get the icing to stand up like that unless maybe it has a fondant core. That's just frightening.That second cake is also a little sad...it does remind me of a squashed chicken somehow.

Let me get this out of the way: I like cake #4. You're right, it is hilarious! OK, that said, I shall now be on the lookout for Dr. Bok Bok. What was that sneaking around the corner just now?? Wait, did you hear that? It sounds like... pecking... it's getting closer... AWK!!!!!!!

The fourth one looks like Sheldon from the old cartoon "Garfield and Friends." http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GarfieldAndFriends

I keep looking for wrecks, but the two grocery store bakeries in town (small town) actually do a pretty good job. We got a "slight" wreck the other day- they left the "t" off of 55th on an anniversary cake, but it wasn't all that exciting...

All of these are remarkably... odd. I must admit I find #2 kinda cute in a punk chic way. Those blue spikes remind me of a cross between the pathetic dyed chicks of my youth and a puffer fish. Just what one wants in an Easter cake.

I'm gonna give the bakery person the benefit of the doubt on that second cake and say they have small children at home who happen to love watching "Yo Gabba Gabba". This *cake* most definitely looks Plex inspired. If that's the case -- evil genius! Parents will be harassed into buying it for TWO reasons instead of just one.

You know, the first picture is looking distinctly heart shaped. I’m thinking somebody didn’t get rid of their Valentine stuff. As for the last picture, I’m getting a lizard vibe for some reason. Must be the long red tongue out of the “beak”.

Someone's got to say it. Might as well be me. Between these smashed chicks and the angry/deformed rabbits from h3ll, it's obvious the wreckorators have acquired a potent stash of "vitamin A" and are tripping b@lls.

Col. Sanders wants to cook his goose // But Psycho Chicken's still on the loose // They caught him down in Ohio // Cut off his head and put in the oven // Put him in a box right next to a roll // Someone took him home ?? // Ate him for lunch and he tasted real fine // But the guy who ate him just lost his mind!

Never underestimate the power of the CHICKEN PEOPLE! They're out there and they're organizing and if you thought that sissyazz rabbit thing on MP was bad just you waaaaiiit till you see what the chicken will do to you!

These poorly executed bits of sugary fluff are only put out to distract you from Dr. Bok Bok's true purpose. OK OK so the big feet were a bit of a fluff-up, but we're (oops - THEY'RE) working on it.

The last puts me in mind of Bill Cosby's chicken heart before the careless janitor knocked the vat over and it grew to 6 feet 6 inches and ate the entire eastern seaboard. Whatever you do, don't release it from the dome!

I actually like the chicken feet one. reminds me of that one character on the garfield and friends show. you know, the part with all the farm animals and there was that egg that never quite hatched all the way? just chicken feet running around with an egg on top?

i see what you mean about the icing, though. yikes!! but i don't know that it's quite a "wreck". maybe not a sweet, though, either. do you have a median category?

*rolling with laughter!!! Love your commentary as usual!Those chicky cakes are just awful, but I kind of like the egg one with the circus peanut molded feet. YEP circus peanuts..definitely circus peanuts.

oh, that last one...biodome..AHAHAHHAHAHHHA! Seriously. You need to do a claymation show featuring Biodome Chick and popped eyes the sailor blobs as her sidekicks. Oh, and that evil bunny. HAHAHAH. Evil cake creatures UNITE!

I have enough fun with these that it's only just to share my 5 year old's comment. I try to keep fun things he says in a file titled, "cute antics":

• Looking at the final cake picture over my shoulder and proclaiming, "It's half dead!" Continuing on after a little pondering, he commented "It's half chicken and half car." Finally, he concluded "It doesn't look like a chicken. It looks like a pig snout."

I ROFLOLed so hard I cried this morning about Dr. Bok in the dome. Just what I need before trudging off to work. I love the geeky commentary. She looks like an evil reanimated lab specimen from Futurama or something.

For some reason I am reminded of the robotic turkey from Aqua Teen Hunger Force:"In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother. These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy; gravy filled with the giblets...from a monkey. The French craved it and as a result, Turkey became the only food source for France...which is now called RoboFrance29. I was later killed by the chickens. So, of course, you can see why I'm angry at those chickens."

I'm really kind of weirded out by that "cheater's special"... Not because of the plastic parts, but because it's got what looks like four really awkward boobies, and some messed up chicken genitalia. Creepy.

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What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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