out of my previous practice and experience in the therapeutic and psychosocial field, i have found as a therapist the following "ankerplaetze" (i.e. a place to anchor) - those places are, in my point of view, helpful linkages in therapy, in supervising, coaching (and in life, as well):
1. take your time - relate and equate the number of life-hours your client has to the number of hours spent in therapy.
2. expect little - if your client finds a solution, then it is the best solution for the present - because he found it himself.
3. praise much - most of us have a deficit in praising and giving one a feeling of importance.
4. he who gives, receives - an unused spring dries up; if you do not give unnecessary too much (flooding) or wrongly (from your personal essence, for example), then what you gave will be replaced with the next flow.
5. drift - it is difficult to the point of pointless, to swim against the stream. a good navigator is always oriented (=objectives), knows the possibilities of his ship and its crew and uses the energetic power of the currents.
6. realities are subjective constructs - every phenomenon has several opportunities to reality in itself, in everyway more and different than you think; there is no truth and there is no definitively binding construct.
7. the past is what has been - there is no possibility to change the past; but on the other hand, a client can change his subjective construct of the past (whether it is useful will be shown in the present).
8. trust yourself - you, with your resonanc ability and entire personality, are the source of impulse and constantly change yourself in every action. you, as a thinking component,cannot make a statement about the sum of the parts as well as the whole.
9. every pattern was functional and profitable - honor the past suitability of the pattern and bring your client in the position to use the profit in another way. there are games which are profitable for all participants.
10. where a shadow falls must be light - teach the art of reinterpretation and of positiv connotation.
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