Writer’s Cramp is the blog and site for B. Jenne’ Hall, writer, genius, and pathological optimist. She’s written her first book, is working on her second, and she’s trying to get published. Which from all accounts seems to be as approximately attainable as the gift of flight, but who doesn’t love a challenge?

This is a picture of the shelf in the H section of the Gold Room in Powell’s. This is my dream.

On February 8th, 2009, I finished my first book. It was the biggest accomplishment of my life. During the time it took me to write it, the idea of trying to get it published gradually shifted from completely out of the question to something I’m actually going to try to do. Maybe I’ll manage it, maybe I won’t. I’m ready to try.

I plan to share that process here, from querying and rejection letters to hopefully representation and then sale to a publisher. And maybe, hopefully…everything that follows.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

B. Jenne’ Hall has been a writer since producing her first masterpiece at the age of 4, titled “Resapee for Tacos”. She quickly followed up this blockbuster with a sequel, “Resapee for Psgedee”. Both were received to rave reviews at her grandmother’s house and were promptly framed by her mother. They may still be in a box somewhere.

Since then, she has penned numerous essays, term papers, and creative writing assignments, garnering acclaim from teachers, family, and strangers on the bus. She currently blogs in semi-secrecy for the entertainment of anonymous internet users. Her more popular entries include “Work Placement Program for Morons”, “Target.com is Evil and I Hate Them The End”, “Get a Brain Morans”, and “Zombie Shame Parade Newsletter”

To assist in the completion of this novel, Ms. Hall has developed a revolutionary writing technique known as “Playing Endless Hours of Solitaire In All Its Incarnations To Avoid the Scary Blank White Page”. She is also a crack researcher, and her google-fu is unmatched. She splits infinitives with reckless abandon.

B. Jenne’ Hall is a pretentious pseudo-pseudonym, which the author elected to use to protect her against non-existent stalkers in anticipation of great fame once her novel is published, as it inevitably will be. Her real name can be found on the internet, but only if you have the correct password and know the right kind of chocolate to offer.

Among her talents are anachronistic spreadsheet solutions for problems that would be better solved with databases, a preference for eating M&M’s in multiples of five, and the ability to use “cracktastic” in a sentence. She holds the world record for filling a Shape-O-Ball in the 2 to 3 year-old age bracket. Store receipts that total to whole dollar amounts make her inordinately happy.

She does not recommend visiting TVTropes.org, for that way lies madness.