HIGHBROW AILhttps://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com
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The Last of Me!https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2017/02/22/the-last-of-me/
https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2017/02/22/the-last-of-me/#respondWed, 22 Feb 2017 21:01:06 +0000http://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/?p=363Well, I know very well what it’s like to be a low key. it’s been three years since I first wrote anything on this blog, I haven’t written much and most of these are very complex to comprehend in general and reflectsome kind of absurdity in itself.

Aren’t we all absurd in one way or other, well I am. I know I don’t have much inspiration or will to write anything except the last message I wish to write here, this blog actually helped me in many ways, I used to write more than I have published, I didn’t publish all of them, many drafts are still unpublished, I never had the courage to publish maybe because I never wanted to change the course what people think or know about me through this. Mostly strangers read this than the people who knew me. it’s the irony of life that we are so much afraid of giving the wrong impression to someone we don’t even know because we are taught in this cut throat world that the first impression is the last impression and, I am no exception.

Writing is very powerful tool for me so does people who were close to me and who are close to me even today. I still read sometimes and it’s all fresh up why I wrote, when I wrote, What I wrote, some are beautiful and some are painful. I found misery my inimical companion who motivated me to write things and so does few people and then there were incidents. At one point whenever my blog used to get published one of my friend was able to guess something odd must have happened.

I had light peach color room when I was around 10-12. I have memories of months maybe march or April, we used to have final terms, I used to come after giving exam and lie down in my bed and turn on the fan, The air from fan was visible, the smell, fragrance of starting summer and that calmness for few minutes and even at worse times if that march smell stuck me it all, refreshes me and I am able to experience all over it again.

I really like when someone write something for me or for themselves, I shared this March feeling and someone did write something for me particularly what they feel about my sharing, it’s one of the best gifts I ever got.

Recently I visited Mcleodganj in winters, I wrote everything in a diary and later gifted it someone and response I got was priceless though brief but it was meaningful for me. the writing was one of the ways for me to understand what surrounding and people around me are talking and why everyone matters and why the world wants me to understand. Though it’s all chemical reaction and brain drama that makes us philosophical and absurd. Giving TIME is the biggest thing a person can give, we have less time and I don’t regret much where my time has gone but I really think it was where it was destined Right, Hey Nobody is GOD.

I still don’t know what I want from my life if it has meant I understand that rather than finding peace and happiness, Many life many masters and everything we touch surely dies sooner or later.

I met a friend in April 2012 and in a day it was strange, I was able to establish the simpatico relationship with the person. and it changed my life for years to come, it’s the fifth year and life is different for me since then. Not that I became popular or something, but it helped me to explore myself, I did try many things all these years and everything is worth for me when I look back at it. But impermanence is a thing, I can’t go on exploring myself someday we need to stop, sometimes things make us stop and sometimes we stop ourselves because it becomes difficult to go on further for the various reason. I still have a companion named misery but also a companion of peace both keep the check on each other, it’s Hilarious when someone listens or read such thing.

I blogged for myself, neither I was very expressive nor I wanted to make money, I am glad none of them actually happened and Time is gone, It’s been three years.

Few things I wish to tell as last of me!

.accept yourself as you are. Accept nothing is permanent and you are not immortal. don’t make someone more important than yourself you just have one life or go with bob marley philosophy of life. but don’t stand in between you will lose the track.

And you must have heard the song “Let her go” so understand this

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go…

it’s the line from the song “Nadaan Parindey”. I won’t be writing it’s meaning here. Death is something we have no control over, but inside we all want to take control over something or other. Is it even possible to control your thoughts in the morning or before sleeping. No, Howsoever hard try all we can do is we can just forcefully control our action but nothing else, we have trouble accepting this small fact at least I had trouble accepting this fact. We all have to die one day so we should live our life to fullest and blah blah blah.

Nothing you see is truth, nothing you hear is truth, everything is made up. Live life you want to is truth but it’s half truth. and you know what ? “half truth is worse than lie”. because it’s manipulation. Anyway, Death is not just the one after which no one come back. Overthinking, pain and heaviness is one of the reason that led people to symbolic death. The death much more painful then actual one, the firm belief in reliability when shattered, everything else starts vaporizing, emotional endurance ends which is worse unless you have experienced same then you are used to it. In the song, it remind me of symbolic death of one’s emotions because belief that more suffering to experience is still left, which we ourselves doesn’t want to end because we think we deserve and because of no more will we think life is impractical but it’s more practical than we think. Everybody lies and there is no one not even you that you can trust forget should , because it will broken someday because that’s what it is meant for Isn’t it?

It is or it is not, unless you experience you will never know and people will live in illusion of the fact they know everything when all they know is what they want to know and how they want to know. when it’s not upto them. Be better, understand emotions of others and yours, that’s one of the important thing after you have basic survival kit to survive.

Still Live your life to fullest!

]]>https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2017/01/04/%e0%a4%95%e0%a4%be%e0%a4%97%e0%a4%be-%e0%a4%b0%e0%a5%87-%e0%a4%95%e0%a4%be%e0%a4%97%e0%a4%be-%e0%a4%b0%e0%a5%87-%e0%a4%ae%e0%a5%8b%e0%a4%b0%e0%a5%80-%e0%a4%87%e0%a4%a4%e0%a4%a8%e0%a5%80-%e0%a4%85/feed/0img_5995ambuj1tripathiThe Quantifiable Connectionhttps://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/07/09/the-quantifiable-connection/
https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/07/09/the-quantifiable-connection/#respondSat, 09 Jul 2016 15:25:26 +0000http://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/?p=287“We seek not resemblances but differences, choose most accentuated difference because they’re most striking and also most instructive”

Interstellar movie has inspired me always since I saw it in 2014. There are numerous thing in that particular movie which inspires me for the different aspect of life including love.

When I first came across dialogue “Love Tars love, my connection with Murph is quantifiable” I couldn’t understand back then, even now I only have few thoughts but I know for sure I am far from the truth of what in reality it actually means. The quantifiable connection is the strong bond of two string which can be explored in true love through our natural instincts. The definition for me has always been complex because they are important and gives the sole understanding of what is happening in the moment of thought. After all, “definitions are the foundation of reasons”. Strings are very sensitive but very strong, the instinctive bridge is hard to establish and when it does it happens in very short span, instincts keeps these thread strong forever. In simple terms, “For love” I talked about in one of my posts is just a string bonded but the connection is not quantifiable but if instincts are bridge then connection last forever even after we die. The explosion of thoughts inside our head, vulnerabilities, and lifeless emotions are just something beyond our understanding, everyone shares some kind of bond with our close ones but we are afraid to connect instincts.

People say, love, emotions, pain, and happiness cannot be measured, the reason is that they measure it with what they know and not what it actually is. I know for a fact this is something we lie because inside there is the conflict of interest within our thought for all of these things we experience which makes it impure which makes our speculation also a complete lie about quantifiable. The definition I have put myself is in the context of what I think when I come across the term Quantifiable connection. The quantifiable connection is very rare and is something we again seek in someone, I have this weird thought that we are already connected with someone’s instincts but thread is not connected, that is reason we feel bad even when everything with us is fine because our instincts say it’s not fine, it maybe because our instincts say if it’s not you then it is happening another side of bridge. This also makes me lonely because these things will always remain but we will never understand what our instincts are trying to tell us because we don’t trust our instincts.

Trust them to find your quantifiable connection, Seek what matters and Don’t sit till you find the correct one.

]]>https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/07/09/the-quantifiable-connection/feed/0IMG_3207ambuj1tripathiThe Chain of realization https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/07/08/the-chain-of-realization/
https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/07/08/the-chain-of-realization/#respondFri, 08 Jul 2016 18:25:11 +0000http://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/?p=282The Chain of realization
Our Mind is the manufacturer of the process where we realize thoughts all the time. Frequency differ for everyone, the intensity of thought differ but there is surety about that we will produce and we will realize every time a process cycle of thoughts complete.

These days I get sad because the Chain of realization is in effect, I get sad because my mind can process the effective reason for everything that penetrates my understanding and then when I see the cliff of problem solving I see I can’t do anything because that’s how life is supposed to function. At the cliff everything is moral and everything is immoral. The differentiation ends at the cliff. I am not sure whether the chain ends here or still it has a path to cover. I can see now clearly life is also about selfless deeds. It happens only when we see a perspective of life in many sense. The three basic sense I can see and realize that the

First is “the definition of satisfaction cannot be brought from the creativity, if it’s not there you will never have it”

The second is “serendipity is not something you are born with it is something you want to earn” and

The third is ” the meaning of peace for two people can be same but path are never going to be same”.

We are all sad and we don’t even realize it, our instincts are hints of what we should seek to be better and not what we are. The Chain of realization is something we all experience, some less some more but everyone gets the taste of understanding.

After all

C’est la vie

]]>https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/07/08/the-chain-of-realization/feed/0wp-image-2001583516jpg.jpegambuj1tripathiThe Spotless Terminalhttps://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/the-spotless-terminal/
https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/the-spotless-terminal/#respondSat, 25 Jun 2016 20:22:40 +0000http://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/?p=276The freeze state of reaction, where you just can’t express anything, the events are not rare but usually impact rest of life. the tied hands shattered tear and shock through senses. It can range from ride to roller coaster to losing someone, from the worst nightmare to losing a precious thing. The sadness comes much after this, there is no meaning to what we experience at that Spotless Terminal. It’s just the suddenness, where we grasp the reality of never seeing something, the reality of starting something which can be expressed as the preintellectual moment. I have seen the moment, experience the moment, I think this terminal is Spotless because the trace of these thoughts never strikes back, they just leave the conscious system and memory we have of these terminals are the just shadow of what we experience.
The thing is no two people experience the same kind of pain, the love, these attachments always hold people back to understand. So when they say I feel you I understand you, they just mean I wish I could help you and I don’t know what’s it’s like to be in your shoe. The Spotless Terminal of your life exist just for you, no one can touch there except you.
]]>https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/25/the-spotless-terminal/feed/0IMG_4850ambuj1tripathi“For Love”https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/24/for-love/
https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/24/for-love/#respondFri, 24 Jun 2016 19:36:34 +0000http://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/?p=270The persuasion towards searching the meaning of love. I realized it differs for everyone. What I gathered from my surroundings may not be pure but for me, the quality of my meaning is pure and correct. It always starts with pain and ends with pain. The love is not life it’s the heartbeat of life. The life I am talking about is not what we live or what we seek to live but the life we desire for to live. I have been always this indirect who used to love persona of known and unknown for. Calmness and comfort for is the meaning of love. Robert M prisig mentioned in his book “zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance” “the peace you will find at the top of the mountain is the peace you will carry there with you“. But I also believe that life is not easy, and it’s always more than what we know, it’s not just a backpack which you carry wherever you feel like, the emotions, the pain, and the peace all comes only when you pursue them to come with you everywhere. For is the context of what we love. The calmness which I get from comfort for, the love is all about accepting the for not someone for your life. Beautiful things which are calm and where lies comfort and pain is love.
The life is limited to for, and life is not going to stop even if you don’t experience anything at all, I have seen people who complete their precious life cycle without realizing any of these, seek what your instinct really say. Trust your instinct more than anything in your life. As mentioned in massive attack “love is a verb, it’s a doing word”.
]]>https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/24/for-love/feed/0IMG_5530ambuj1tripathiThe chapter of beautyhttps://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/05/the-chapter-of-beauty/
https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/05/the-chapter-of-beauty/#respondSun, 05 Jun 2016 14:41:16 +0000http://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/?p=262There is song in a movie Rock On
“yeh tumhari meri baatein”, It’s not just casual song I hear passing time, I listen it occasionally if I wanted to understand something very delicate or to shift focus.
The ultimate music usually have two effect either spine tingling effect or tear drop effect.
They are just the type about how I perceive the music which are complete in itself and bring the feel of tranquility. If I listen to music with full devotion I experience first step.

“Some songs are visual to eyes, in the same way some images are music to eyes”. It’s just a philosophical perception where I seek calmness when we think this way, the way of relating everything, the panorama of life, to gives us the way where we can relates ourselves to the very core of memories.

There is core of memories which flashes inside our head all the time. We are restless so can’t really understand this happens, these memories are only visible when we are shocked from top to bottom.
The shocking experience are usually very saddening, deepening and very changing in every sense.
These experience are responsible for making these memories visible for time where we can actually make sense of our decisions and decisions that made us.
Every thing comes in one flash, every truth every lie.
Not that this song has shown me any of this, but the overview of memories.wjat I saw were very volatile and flashes from core memories I saw, there is no way I understood how that had shaped me. Few days ago I was discussing the definition of beauty, I was unable to come with any definition but I think growth is part of beauty. There are parts of beauty and every phase of life is in itself a beauty.

The designing of life is beauty, it’s more beautiful arrangement then the life itself. I am objective person, and I do seek beauty in faces but that’s because I have never seen the design of, phases of beauty. Sigmund freud who is father of modern psychology wrote an essay “on transience” He discussed the subject of declining of beauty where at the end of day beauty of flowers vanishes or after few years the beauty of face also vanishes. That’s a fact for sure, and world live by this perception so do I. He said to live the moment, be there for the moment without thinking it’s going to end someday. Flowers will grow again next year and new life will Come again in the form of newborn.

Agreeing the fact, I think beauty never vanishes, what vanishes is boundary of perception where it’s difficult to see the growth.
The face grow old, but if you carefully see the growth, you will see the designing, the decision that has made this from that. Those who can see this are most wonderful people. If you can see the design of every phase, you will find the definition of beauty.

The reality of everything is painful, so once someone asked me that everything we achieve, we lose , we do or even be with someone attract some kind of bitter reality or is it bitter by itself? There are two simple context to this answer and one involves that we are wired to negate things, It can be visualized as once we go to the deep forest, we know we have much to explore, much to love and be with whosoever we are going on deep forest with, To experience some kind of solitude along our way and other enriching experience, but We don’t really desire all that cause we fear, we believe that there is uncertainty of life in the forest, therefore while going consciously we leave marks on trees so we may be able to track our way back, when uncertainty reaches. The above phenomena lead to animosity some kind of desire. These desire are not provoked by something, It just the wiring of our brains that can’t stop helping, because we wanted to get back from the forest in the first place.

Forest doesn’t signify some spiritual way or being a monk. The significance of forest is general life and coming back from there is accepting bitter reality. So, somehow the above question may have two different contexts but answer is same. We are bitter and thus we choose bitter and end up creating bitter.
These are all self-devouring logic, I don’t know the right way of living a life is, but I do know everyone has to suffer because of some kind of emotional bonding or complex chemical reaction or anything. We are permanently wired by bitterness but It is up to us not to create bitterness around us. Because beauty is tangible but bitterness is not. Two things runs along with each other, It would have been simpler if these things were parallel but they cross and not just each other many others in their way. And Thus, they create very complex network and end up being complex themselves with no path but terminals. We want peace, we want to give meaning to our life, but what we really want is not happiness or sadness, We just want to keep seeking what we really want to seek.

]]>https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/06/01/the-bitter-animosity/feed/0IMG_5968ambuj1tripathiThe indescribable descriptionhttps://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/05/24/the-indescribable-description/
https://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/2016/05/24/the-indescribable-description/#respondTue, 24 May 2016 18:18:43 +0000http://ambuj1tripathi.wordpress.com/?p=252What do you like about me?
The question is in itself a thought provoking process, as soon as we ask, our brain start searching the scenes and every scene, every capture of image we have, our mind process them, start relating to our so called language of expression the words. Most of question I have came across in my life are volatile and responses to those question are sudden, on the other hand some are very disturbing and responses to them are non existent because those question wants to diminish a purpose and are mostly planned.

But the question like what do you like about me?
Can neither be answered by deductive reasoning nor
by inductive, they don’t posses hierarchal system.
So, when sanely I encountered one of these questions, I have to ask myself how far I can go to relate the words and scene I have in my brain in two different compartments. The response was something very extensive and fragile. But do I have enough words in my brain compartment to relate it?

The biggest problem and dilemma I faced was that scenes are captured by eyes and mind process it, I have no control over it, It’s like something eternal that make us happy or sad about scene. But words are learned to express things, and now as we grow we start creating scene from words with the help of tool known as imagination. But keeping my ideology of further description to myself.
The description of what I have in my mind is impossible to untangle, since it’s beautiful and enormous and far more complex, I feel the complexity of the description because I don’t have words to describe about my liking towards you. so, I feel that I have honored you in a frame inside my mind and it’s impossible to print it in terms of bizarre essay or in words. The pieces are priceless for me, I can’t even think of erasing or creating something unique. The way I am able to keep calm inside my head to protect those sudden impulse of scene is the what I like about you.
So, when I answer What I like about you is indescribable description of something bizarre yet compelling.

The strike of impulse, the natural vibration of Human mind is sensed as something more of profound work of flow, the flow which is created by itself, the life we live is life of infinite never ending game and I believe it’s the collection of patterns, the awesomeness of creation comes from the scene where we realize our flow, to find the flow of our profound love and our peace (mycalmness). The sense which is more subtle, the sense which propel my understanding, which fuel my mind and give peace to my senses. We constantly search for pattern, we gather understanding by looking , listening or using our so called senses, the flow can be seen everywhere, everyone is flowing, every Monday we wake up go to work, the time we take shower there is flow of water, the infinite series of things all flowing through our senses dwelling in something creating that there is meaning of what we do and why we do. And yet we have limitation of making our life look more of reasoning, we want to make logic in life, to mean it by demeaning it, it sometimes looks utter rubbish but the actuality we accept is we are part of something great, something more creative, something more imperfect and something more of a flow, It’s about the mood we have, If it’s good there is no discomfort with going with the flow.

“Every senses that are enriched by encounters make us fall in the abyss of happy-sad”

I believe Vulnerability of my thoughts are because of those limited incident and encounters that happens and somewhat enrich my senses, I believe I want to make everything that enrich my senses part of my flow, of course that’s not in my hand and of less possibility of happening ever.