This time last year I had just given birth. And you had already begun to fill our lives with huge bundles of love and joy.

Earlier on in the day, Andy Murray had won Wimbledon. Little Miss H and I had spent the afternoon curled up on the sofa having sleepy cuddles and watching the match and award ceremony. It was a Sunday and your Daddy was in the kitchen cooking roast pork and apple sauce for dinner.

I’d been getting small cramps throughout the day. And I had a sneaky suspicion that labour may have started.

By 19:30, the small cramps had turned into full-blown contractions. We took your sister to stay with some friends and headed to the hospital.

You were born in a birthing pool on the delivery suite at 21:05. The midwife was still writing her notes and wasn’t expecting you. But I knew you were in a rush to meet your Mummy and Daddy.

When you were first born the midwife didn’t know where you were. And I could have squashed you as I fell back in relief and exhaustion. But instead I lifted you out of the water and held you against my skin. Tears stinging the back of my eyes. Love filling my heart. Baby of mine.

You’re the baby that we were beginning to think was not in our future. You’re the baby that we were scared we would never meet.

We were convinced you were a girl. As Mummy and Daddy foolishly believed we could only have girls. That Mummy’s body wasn’t equipped for carrying and birthing boys. And when I look at you, I feel silly knowing that we thought you could never be. It is clear now that you were always meant to be a part of our lives. Our family.

Baby of mine

And now you’re one. A newborn baby no more.

Instead, you’ve become the most gorgeous little boy and you’re adored by everyone.

My Mummy’s boy.

You’re always smiling and giggling (except in these photos). But especially when playing with your big sister. You idolise her. Your eyes follow her around the room. And when you’re with her I can hear your giggles of happiness echo around our home.

Yet you’re very different from your sister. You’re your own person. And we don’t define you.

But you slotted into our lives quickly and easily. There must have been a you shaped hole in our family. And you’re the final piece in our jigsaw.

You’re our blonde, blue-eyed boy. And that mad mop of blonde hair has earned you the nickname Mini BoJo. (Sorry).

At the moment, we’re in the middle of a dreaded sleep regression. As you’re in a rush to grow up. Our baby who has always slept through the night has disappeared. We’re hoping it’s a phase. A developmental leap/ growth spurt/ teething episode that will be over in a week or so.

Your 7th tooth has just pushed through and the 8th is following close behind. You’re currently desperate to walk. As crawling is no longer good enough. You long to be toddling and running alongside your sister.

Over the past few days, you’ve begun to start standing on your own. It’s wobbly. You hold out your arms to steady yourself as you sway from side to side. Finally you plop to the floor on your bottom. And a smile fills your face as we tell you how clever you are.

I always thought your sister was a chatterbox. But you never stop talking. Your favourite sounds are da-da, ba-ba and ah-ah. I am hoping to hear mama soon.

I love the way you wave your arms frantically when you want food. You remind me of someone signalling a plane into land.

Oh baby of mine. It has been such a wonderful year with you in our family. You are beautiful in every way. And you’re happy soul makes me smile.

In another life, another world, I would love more children. To give you a little brother or sister. A play mate. But life has dealt us an odd hand of cards. And that hand has led us to you and your sister. Two gorgeous and kind-hearted children. You and your Father our the loves of my life. You will always be in my heart.

Oh this is just lovely. Happy Birthday Mini BoJo! It’s so interesting how something you never had can become something you can’t imagine life without. I’m so glad your family jigsaw is now complete. <3 Thanks for linking up with us this week. #bigpinklink

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About Me

Hello. I'm Lucy, a former fundraiser, wife and mum to two rainbow babies. I write honestly about recurrent miscarriage, mental health and finding happiness in the little things in life. I do this to show mums who are struggling that there is always hope and that a rainbow can appear after the darkest storm.

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