Zipline It: Harness Up and Fly Over DQ Country

It's not often you get to be Dan Cortese for the day, but I did a couple Saturdays ago. I spent my morning at National Rowing Day, my afternoon at NY-TX ZipLine Adventures and my evening stuffing tube socks in my bike shorts and telling people to "step off." I've already written about National Rowing Day and there's no need to discuss "weinering up" any further so let's get to it -- ZIPLINING. Yes, I'm ALL CAPS excited about it. It was THAT MUCH FUN.

NY-TX ZipLine is named after New York, Texas which is a real city basically in Tyler. It's about an hour and a half drive from Dallas. Two, if you stop at the Dairy Queen in Kemp, and you pretty much have to since, technically, it's a road trip. NY-TX Zip is a tough place to find and cell service is spotty so don't be an asshole, print directions. I still use MapQuest and love it. Guess what else? I have a Yahoo! Account! I am so 1999.

When we arrived at our destination we were greeted with this little bad ass (see above). Intimidation alert, right? Wrong. This is where you learn how to brake and stuff. If you want to be really annoying you can say this is where you learn the "ropes."

Here we are climbing to our doom. Just kidding. It's the first platform. Complete with umbrellas to keep you cool. Yay. Oh, that's the other thing, NY-TX Zip keeps you crazy-hydrated. All the bottled water you can handle and I don't even think they tampered with it.

Below, that is me demonstrating perfect form: pointed toes and terror face. I seriously freaked out for the first four zips, but after that I settled in and started thinking I owned the world. Pro tip: Be mindful of your short selection, as moose knuckle is very real.

Here's one of my friends, Clint, before I discovered how to use the camera's zoom feature. It's actually a good shot, though, because it shows how high you really get out there: 100 feet off Earth. This was the last zip of the day and I think it's about 900-feet-long. It's also the only one where you can kick treetops so three cheers for hatin' on nature.

You can buy a 6-zip pass for $60 or a 9-zip pass for $80. My 2,000 cents? Pay the extra $20 and get the extra zips. You'll get to go on the really long one twice.

At the end Sheila, one of the owners, gives you freezer pops and let's you pick the flavor. She chatted with us willy-nilly (because she's super Southern she says things like "willy-nilly") and told us about local hot spots.

She recommended Tara Vineyard & Winery and a diner around the corner. There's also Splash Kingdom Family Waterpark in Canton which is very close. If you have a brain (and you're reading this so you must), make a day of it. Pack a suit, hit up the DQ and then, you know, go sample some wine. I hear the Hunger Buster is a perfect palate cleanser. Check out NY-TX's links page for a complete list of nearby things to do.

For more information, reservations or to just stretch your typing fingers visit goziptexas.com.

Oh, and here's a group shot in which most of us followed directions and looked serious. No small feat in penis helmets.