Find Me On Goodreads! (But Not On Facebook)

People have been asking why I left Facebook. Mostly all I have to say by way of explanation is “why do you think?” and they understand. People inherently know the reasons already, they know how social networking can be a bubonic tumor on a person’s life. Still, I get that they’re curious as to my specific reason. It was just an overarching amalgamation of various “oh God why am I doing this to myself?” moments that finally led me to pull the plug.

As you can imagine, life is lovelier for me these days. I know the phrase “ignorance is bliss” is usually said in tones of snarky irony, but it’s the damn truth. I am ignorant of all the menial observations, complaints, announcements, and “debates” of people I don’t really care about. I am ignorant of which random acquaintance got engaged or a promotion at work, what their dog looks like, or their first world problems. I’m ignorant about the Grammy’s, about what everyone had for dinner, about what my exes are up to, about which parties I wasn’t invited to, about new tattoos, about break-ups, about pointed song lyrics that are obviously not meant towards me, and about which level of Candy Crush my friends are on.

Woe is me, I’m just a big ignorant dummy who knows nothing about anybody 😉

I guess all there’s left to do is keep working, and now I have all this extra free time to write and read and feed my soul and strive towards those ever-higher goals. Darn.

The cool thing about it is that, in the same way, nobody knows anything about me, either. I’m guilty of formerly being a HUGE over-sharer, and most of my in-person conversations had to begin with the disclaimer, “Did you already see my status today?” I won’t even get started on the ridiculous high from counting those stupid likes.

Nobody likes anything I say anymore, because I’m not saying anything. It’s an odd sort of self-discipline, teaching yourself to shut up because you don’t need anyone’s approval. I read somewhere that confidence is silent and insecurities are loud. That really stuck with me because I want to be the kind of person who can sit in the back of the crowd and observe, not the one in the center yelling for attention.

And that’s not to say I’ve completely ostracized my friends. But anyone who is worth it to me has my number, and we end up having so much more to talk about when we haven’t been secretly reading each other’s lives behind a screen. You learn so much more about a person when they’re looking directly at you, speaking directly to you, and there’s just so much to be appreciated about actual conversation that most of us take for granted.

With that being said, I just recently joined the Goodreads bandwagon and it’s the only social networking site (besides WordPress, obviously) that I can dig, because it’s for readers. Call me narcissistic, but I don’t give two flying fruits about you if I can’t talk to you about books. I’m a librarian and a writer; if you don’t read I will have nothing to say to you. Conversely, for some strange reason, if you happen to be an avid reader and we happen to have similar tastes in books, I tend to get this starry-eyed admiration in my heart for you forever. It’s weird.

You can find me at https://www.goodreads.com/Charkweek if you are so inclined. It’s an excellent tool; part of my New Year’s Resolution was to read 15 books by my birthday in June. Goodreads has a 2014 Reading Challenge widget which I’ve used to measure progress towards my amended goal of 30 books throughout the whole year.

To wrap this baby up in a nice little bow, social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. may be your thing. They’re not for me. But everybody’s gotta do what’s best for themselves, and that includes a little loophole now and then. Goodreads seems to be a good alternative for me, where at least I can make myself believe I’m on the classy side of social networking. If you get tired of seeing your friends’ baby pictures and Zimbio quiz results, come talk books with me 🙂

Spot on there! I joined facebook just this year in January, solely to shed off my garb of “in isolation”. But I am already feeling sick and tired of the unnecessary dramas, information of folks I don’t know much about. I end of so much time on facebook, ever distracting me away from writing. I am glad I came across your post and it sure is a ray of hope for me. Thanks Charlotte!

Ditto! Ditto! Ditto!!
I never, ever thought I would find myself in a world where I was really socially awkward AND internet awkward as well…and yet…
I find it all soo not necessary. If we aren’t going to do relationships let’s no longer lie to ourselves (as a nation) and convince ourselves by joining every social network that that somehow “is” relationships…over it!!
Thank you for knowing how to put words together so well that I am grateful for my “lifestyle” choice. PEACE!

Hmm, you follow my blog today, and just this morning I disconnected my blog from publishing my posts on Facebook. I tried to clear all the posts out, but they are persisting somehow. But without anything new getting added, I don’t need to go to Facebook anymore. No longer contributing. The coincidence of reading this and my action this morning is astounding.

I haven’t quite yet taken the plunge to delete my FB page, though I’m tempted to everyday. The only thing that keeps me there is that I do still communicate with some friends and family that live in other states through FB. Plus I’ve noticed the most traffic i get through my blog here comes from my friends on FB.

The thing I need to get rid of is the iPhone, with out that I wouldn’t be on FB as much, but I kind of have to wait until June when i qualify for an upgrade, so i can down grade with out dropping a few hundred bucks, if thats make sense.

I’m still trying to get a handle of Goodreads, but I’ll look you up on there.

How about picking up your iPhone and CALLING your out of state friends instead of using FB? I think they would appreciate it more. You can always send them pictures through your phone if that is necessary. Its more personal and I would rather know my real friends take the time to contact ME, not as a FB friend. Just a suggestion.

I’m glad I read this post. Although I have a Facebook page for my website, all I do is link my posts to it–I’m not really active. We’ll see how long it lasts. As far as a personal Facebook page, I got rid of it a long time ago for the same reasons you stated!

Hi Charlotte, thanks for stopping by and following my blog. I am curious as to why though as I am looking into social media for writers and you seem to be going away from the big social networks in favour of a specialised one (which makes sense to me though!). So what made you interested?
Interesting challenge you’ve got yourself – good luck! I admire your discipline and courage.
By the way I love to read so hopefully we have something to talk about 😉

Really well put – I completely relate! Facebook is awful. I came off but went back on again, but I barely use it. A massive cull of ‘friends’ makes it more bearable. Prefer texting or calling friends now. Life’s better without it. Great blog 🙂

You’re right about that- every few weeks I found myself deleting large amounts of people to limit the amount of inane things I was exposed to. But eventually I realized that it wasn’t just about seeing everyone else’s business, but also about how much I was feeling compelled to share mine, and to compete to feel “more interesting” than other people.
Thanks so much for reading, glad you enjoyed 🙂

I have been following your blog. I have never been on Facebook and was forced to use WordPress for my English Composition class. Social media has NEVER appealed to me. On occasion, I have encountered an issue of not being invited to an event or hearing about any number of things because it was” posted on facebook” . And yet, I have still made it through the day somehow. I’m glad I’m not the only one who believes in the power of a phone call and if you really care about others lives, you will find out what you need to know without hearing about it through a tweet.

Well said and I completely agree. The draw of social media is particularly potent to those with a hint of narcissism such as myself, who love to feel and show that they’re SO interesting and SO unique. Thankfully I was not so far gone that I couldn’t step back and realize what it was doing to my psyche, and eliminate the problem. Kudos to you for never being tempted, and thanks for your affirmations that it is indeed possible to struggle on without it 😉
Thanks for reading!

And by the way, you are a great writer! I have been able to relate to several of your blogs and wish I could communicate as eloquently through writing as you have. See….you don’t need FB to get kudos. Hehe. Great work….keep it up, you are the only one I follow.

Ah, I admire you so much right now for deleting your Facebook account. I’ve been contemplating that deactivating button for months, and I actually did it once. I was in heaven for one day. However, due to my work, I was bound to reopen it. I have 3 “fanpages” to manage, and Facebook won’t allow you to open a page without having your own timeline; those clever bastards.

Nonetheless, I love this entry. Goodreads is awesome. Thank you for the follow!

Reblogged this on Dreams from the North and commented:
A little healing for the soul takes some unusual forms, and I applaud this effort and hope to recreate her success for myself. I’m fine with stuff like Instagram and Tumblr, but that’s because my experience on those is so admire-the-pretty-picture-centric that there’s no need to care about likes or shares. I’m in it mostly for the art.

But Facebook is a drudgery, Google+ is forgotten, all my tweets are auto-posts, and Tumblr and Instagram aren’t used as social tools.
Social Media has a decreasingly relevant place in my life, and I’m glad for it. This is why I say I want to delete my Facebook, this is why I’m struggling to get out. My presence there is meaningless, so why not cast off the dead weight and breathe more freely again?

I have FB account from mid 2011 to mid 2012, and that’s should be enough. I run away and never look back. But then I have Twitter. This one works well. I follow some good organization in order to know a free events in the city and many free classes. Free is always good to me. I get an information fast on Twitter, without having to check a company website one by one..

Hi there! Thanks for following my blog. This is a great post! I ask myself all the time why I keep my facebook. I rationalize that it is to keep my distant family up to date on all the things in my life they want to be kept up to date on but then I just end up adding many of them to my restricted or blocked list because I can’t stand their intrusive and inane comments. I keep my blog completely separate from facebook so I can actually share without fearing whom I’m offending this week. Anyway, good luck with the poems and I can’t wait to read them. 🙂

Hi Charlotte,
I totally forgot my goodreads account for 2 years now. But, yesterday I sign up a new account in goodreads, and start reading The Diary of a Young Girl: Anne Frank. Thanks for remain me of goodreads.

Reblogged this on My Life with Powers. and commented:
I have thought about getting rid of Facebook for a while now also. Not just because it takes up way too much time during my day, but because I really don’t care about what more than half of the people on there do and I definitely hate seeing all the nasty things some people choose to post. One day I will step up and close my account like this brave woman. There are better uses of my time!