Mark Maynard » Pop Culturehttp://markmaynard.com For all your Mark Maynard needs.Tue, 03 Mar 2015 15:04:07 +0000en-UShourly1On Asses, Asteroids, Pop Culture and Sciencehttp://markmaynard.com/2014/11/on-asses-and-asteroids-2/ http://markmaynard.com/2014/11/on-asses-and-asteroids-2/#commentsFri, 14 Nov 2014 04:29:57 +0000http://markmaynard.com/?p=31180I hate popular culture. Yesterday, when I read about the European Space Agency’s Philae lander successfully touching down on Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko, after traveling though space for over ten years, making it the first spacecraft to ever land on a comet nucleus, all I could think was, “It’s kind of just sitting there on that comet as it’s hurdling though space, like that champaign glass on Kim Kardashian’s ass.”

It’s not a thought that I’m particularly proud of, but it stuck with me all day long. I’d try to work, but my mind kept drifting back to the Philae lander and this champaign glass, wondering about the similarities between the two, both precariously balanced in space, and drawing the attention of everyone on earth.

“How many scientists,” I wondered, “did it take to calculate the approach, and figure out how to set it down just right? …And was the Philae lander team even bigger?”

I should note right up front that I have nothing against Kim Kardashian’s ass, or the place that it holds in American popular culture. I’m sure that it’s a fine ass, and I’m happy that it brings joy to people during these darks times in which we live. What bothers me is the fact that I know that it exists, without ever having sought out information on its existence, without ever having watched an episode of Kardashian’s television show, without ever having visited a website dedicated to the documentation of epic asses. I hate living in a world where, try as you might, there are some things that you can’t avoid. I don’t like knowing the comings and goings of Justin Bieber. I don’t like knowing when Lindsay Lohan drinks. I don’t like knowing that the Kradashian family exits. But there are these things that are just beyond our control, these enormous cultural entities circling us like low orbit satellites.

And, over the past 24 hours, though no fault of my own, I’ve been bombarded by Kim Kardashian’s ass, as everyone in the media struggled to find a new way to justify their interest, and spin it as something other than prurient. Literally every other story in my news feed had to do with the public display of this reality star’s large, oiled ass, as though it were something of historic significance. And, at the same time, buried between these various stories, if you could draw your attention to it, you saw these beautiful, little glimpses of Philae lander miraculously touching down.

The juxtaposition of the two stories, at least for me, was overwhelming. And I couldn’t stop drawing inferences about our country and our place in history. “The Philae lander wasn’t launched from the United States,” I found myself thinking. “It was a product of the European Space Agency. Kardashian, though, is ours, and she’s the one blowing up the internet.” It’s kind of sobering, don’t you think?

]]>http://markmaynard.com/2014/11/on-asses-and-asteroids-2/feed/23Which did a better job of capturing the ethos of punk rock… Quincy or CHiPs?http://markmaynard.com/2014/08/has-there-ever-been-a-better-depiction-of-punk-rock-in-american-mass-media-than-on-quincy/ http://markmaynard.com/2014/08/has-there-ever-been-a-better-depiction-of-punk-rock-in-american-mass-media-than-on-quincy/#commentsWed, 27 Aug 2014 11:55:36 +0000http://markmaynard.com/?p=30481Earlier this week, Arlo’s pediatrician and I determined that he’s now old enough to learn about punk rock. Since then, I’ve been doing a lot of research, trying to find the best way to introduce the concepts of senseless violence and nihilism to a two year old.

I was hoping that I’d find some consensus in the literature, but it would appear that professionals working in the area of early childhood development are divided. Some think the CHiPs episode “Battle of the Bands” is best, while others advocate on behalf of the Quincy episode “Next Stop Nowhere.” As I really don’t want to screw this up, I’m looking for advice. Any guidance from academics in the audience would be appreciated.

[Not surprisingly, both episodes end on a fairly similar note, with more traditional American values winning out, at least for the time being, over the terrifying nihilism of punk. As Quincy says to Dr. Hanover at the end, as they slow dance to Glenn Miller, “Why would anyone listen to music that makes you hate, when you can listen to music that makes you love?” For my money, though, CHiPs has the better ending, with Erik Estrada triumphantly singing Kool & The Gang’s hit “Celebration” after having snatched a beautiful, innocent young woman from the clutches of punk, and delivered her back into the hands of the commercial mainstream.]

]]>http://markmaynard.com/2014/08/has-there-ever-been-a-better-depiction-of-punk-rock-in-american-mass-media-than-on-quincy/feed/8Johnny Manziel and his rolled up $20 billhttp://markmaynard.com/2014/07/johnny-manziel-and-his-rolled-up-20-bill/ http://markmaynard.com/2014/07/johnny-manziel-and-his-rolled-up-20-bill/#commentsTue, 08 Jul 2014 02:13:03 +0000http://markmaynard.com/?p=29975There are few things in life I probably care less about than recently drafted NFL quarterback Johnny Manziel. And, under normal circumstances, I’d never post about how he chooses to spend his time in the restroom. This comment left on Reddit, though, seemed like the kind of thing I just had to share.

At some point, about a year ago, Clementine and I got out of the habit of reading together every night. It might have had something to do with the fact that Arlo had come along, and was demanding more of my time, but I suspect she’d also gotten to an age where our interests were diverging, and she no longer wanted to drift off to sleep hearing me read from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Not yet ready to accept the fact that she was growing up and developing interests of her own, though, I began a desperate search for something that we could share together in the absence of books. And what I came up with was the original Star Trek, which I thought might help instill an appreciation, if not a love, for science. (As I’ve mentioned before, I’d like for her to go into the space program and get off this damn planet of ours.) So, for the past year or so, we’ve been slowly making our way though the three seasons of the series, watching about an episode a week.

I’d known, going into it, that it would be complicated. Any time you introduce a nearly 50 year old cultural artifact to a kid, there are going to be issues. But I found Start Trek to be especially difficult as the father of a young daughter. The blatant sexism of the series, which I was oblivious to as a kid, when I first watched the series, really came into sharp focus as I sat there with Clementine, trying, to the best of my ability, to provide context… trying to explain to her that, at the time, Start Trek was actually at the forefront of breaking down barriers, especially for women of color.

The show, we’re told, was one of Martin Luther King’s favorites. In fact, according to Nichelle Nichols, the African American actress who portrayed communications officer Lieutenant Uhura aboard the USS Enterprise, it was King who asked her not to leave the show after its first season. According to Nichols, he said that she “could not give up.” For the first time in American popular culture, young black children, especially girls, had someone to identify with that wasn’t a household servant, and that, in the eyes of King, was vitally important. “Once that door is opened by someone,” he apparently told her, “no one else can close it again.”

In spite of the way women are often portrayed on the show, I think that Star Trek has been good for us. It’s given us an opportunity to have conversations that we might not otherwise have been able to have concerning the ever-expanding role that women play in society, and how, thanks to the struggles of millions of women before her, she doesn’t have to be a stay-at-home mom, a secretary, or even a short skirt-wearing communications officer, if she doesn’t want to be. If she wants to work hard enough, I tell her, she can be anything that she wants to be, in spite of the competing cultural influences which might tell her that, despite everything else, women are still valued primarily for their attractiveness to men.

For us, I think that Star Trek was the right choice. We were able to navigate it in such a way, I think, that the good outweighed the bad. I’m curious, however, what others think… In the love of science and exploration that Star Trek might instill offset by the often offensive treatment of women? It the fact that it was progressive for the time matter at all, now that nearly 50 years have passed? Does the fact that there was a black, female officer on the bridge make up for the fact that Captain Kirk bedded scantily clad female lifeforms across the universe?

[note: I’ve just discovered that Nichols was involved in an extramarital affair with Start Trek producer Gene Roddenberry which began prior to the 1966 launch of the show. He was also, apparently, having an affair with Majel Barrett, who played Nurse Chapel on the show, at the same time. (He would go on to marry Barrett after leaving his wife.) So it apparently wasn’t just Kirk who was chasing women across the universe.]

]]>http://markmaynard.com/2014/06/is-star-trek-good-for-girls/feed/10Pencil Paparazzi: Janice Dickinson… cutting in line, talking loudly and doing lunges at Starbuckshttp://markmaynard.com/2014/06/pencil-paparazzi-janice-dickinson-cutting-in-line-talking-loudly-and-doing-lunges-at-starbucks/ http://markmaynard.com/2014/06/pencil-paparazzi-janice-dickinson-cutting-in-line-talking-loudly-and-doing-lunges-at-starbucks/#commentsThu, 26 Jun 2014 02:50:59 +0000http://markmaynard.com/?p=29854I’ve got another entry for our ever-growing Pencil Paparazzi file. This one comes from a woman by the name of Kelli Paige, who, a few years ago, apparently had a run-in with self-proclaimed “world’s first supermodel” Janice Dickinson in an Ann Arbor Starbucks.

The drawing was accompanied by the following note:

According to a review of my Facebook timeline, it was August 29, 2012, at the Starbucks on the corner of State and Liberty, that I came in contact with Janice Dickinson. She was dressed casually, but with sunglasses (inside), and, I think, a baseball cap, as if to try and conceal her identity. However, she was talking loudly on her cell phone and her voice was immediately recognizable. She was also stretching and taking up a lot of space. She was doing lunges and stand-up yoga poses while waiting for her drink. Her face was swollen, and she cut in front of a bunch of people in line. I remember that I couldn’t help but stare at her. Something about the spectacle made me think, “This is probably what it would be like to see Michael Jackson in person.”

A NOTE TO OUR READERS: Remember, if you see someone famous, don’t approach them. Don’t try to attempt smalltalk. Don’t ask them about their various well-publicized affairs and addictions. And, for god’s sake, don’t take photos. If you do, you my might spook them. And it might be the last thing that you ever do. No, just set up your easel a respectful distance away, and commence drawing.

]]>http://markmaynard.com/2014/06/pencil-paparazzi-janice-dickinson-cutting-in-line-talking-loudly-and-doing-lunges-at-starbucks/feed/9“Who’s that tourist?” …Madonna joins the ranks of celebrities investing an afternoon to save Detroithttp://markmaynard.com/2014/06/whos-that-girl-you-wont-believe-who-was-in-detroit-today/ http://markmaynard.com/2014/06/whos-that-girl-you-wont-believe-who-was-in-detroit-today/#commentsWed, 04 Jun 2014 02:25:32 +0000http://markmaynard.com/?p=29661A terrifying relic from the ’80s was spotted making its way through Detroit today, and I’m not talking about RoboCop, who threw out the first pitch at tonight’s Tigers game in celebration of the recently proclaimed RoboCop Day. No, I’m talking about former pop star turned irrelevantfairground stripper Madonna Ciccone. (Those are Elton John’s words, not mine.)

I got word from a catty friend in Detroit who shall remain nameless. “She went to Ponyride to meet this Phil Cooley she’s read so much about,” this friend said. “And she’s now waiting 45 minutes for a table at Slows.” I’m not sure whether or not she actually made it to Slows, but, according to the social mediatrail she left in her wake while here, she really did visit our friends at Ponyride. And I have it on good authority that Phil was in her entourage.

Sorry for the venom. I suppose it’s a good thing whenever a celebrity, even one I dislike as much as Madonna, comes to Detroit and helps shine a light on the positive things that people are doing here. Madonna still has tons of fans, and today they’re all hearing good things about people struggling to make positive change in a city that most people wrote off a long time ago, and that’s an awesome thing. I know that. I just can’t get beyond my deep dislike for Madonna, who I see as an opportunistic narcissist of the worst sort. And I can’t help but think that this afternoon spent in Detroit was likely more about her than it was about us. Still, though, I suppose it’s a good thing that she was here.

update: Sorry for the unfortunate image placement. I didn’t mean to follow my comment about Madonna possibly coming to Detroit to select a new child, with a photo of her interacting with children earlier today at the Detroit Achievement Academy. In retrospect, I realize that you could infer that she was child shopping in the photo, and that wasn’t my intention. Of the images she took in Detroit, it was just my favorite… As far as I know, all the kids in the image made it safely home to their parents.

According to IMDB, this apparently isn’t a joke. Nicholas Cage, like so many celebrities before him, has made the decision, instead of just announcing his retirement from acting, and drifting off quietly into obscurity, to end his epic journey through the Hollywood system with a tremendous, career-ending bang… Yes, he will be stepping into the evolution-disbelieving shoes of the great Christian actor Kirk Cameron and bringing the rapture porn classic Left Behind back to the silver screen.

Here, if you’re unfamiliar with the Cameron films, or the delusional books which spawned them, is a bit of overview from the site of the Cage helmed reboot.

Without warning, millions of people around the globe simply vanish.

All that remains are their clothes and belongings… and an overwhelming sense of terror. The vanishings cause unmanned vehicles to crash and burn.

Emergency forces everywhere are devastated. Gridlock, riots and looting overrun the cities. And there is no one to help or provide answers. In an instant, the earth has been plunged into darkness.

For RAY STEELE, the pilot of a jumbo jet, it means trying to calm his hysterical passengers who saw loved ones vanish before their eyes.

It also means trying to land his damaged plane when every airport is jammed with burning wrecks, all while wishing that he could talk to his family one last time.

For BUCK WILLIAMS, the world-renowned journalist trapped at 30,000 feet, it means a struggle to understand the incomprehensible, the most devastating event in history.

And for CHLOE STEELE, Ray’s daughter back on the ground, it means trying to find her mother and brother…

Maybe it’s too early to call it career suicide. Cage has rebounded before. He bounced back from Wicker Man to do Kick Ass, which was pretty good. The truth is, however, it’s been a hell of a long time since he did Peggy Sue Got Married, Raising Arizona, and Moonstruck back-to-back. His career for the past 20 years or so has been little more than a desperate sprint from one derivative big box office project to the next, in hopes of paying down his considerable debt, without much thought of quality. I guess you could say that Cage is to action movies of late, what Adam Sandler is to comedy. They both aim squarely for the lowest common denominator, they cash their checks, and they move on. In this case, though, I just don’t see him bouncing back with another Adaptation or Leaving Las Vegas. I think this is him resigning himself to the inevitable. He’s scraped bottom for so long that all he’s got left is making straight-to-video fantasy films for a cultish far-right subset of the evangelical movement… folks who daydream about the glorious day that God will call them up to heaven while condemning the rest of us to eternal torment in lakes of fire.

Here, if you don’t believe me as to how bad this will be, is the new trailer.

I should also add that there is a chance it could be awesome, in the same kind of way that Snakes on a Plane was awesome. I don’t think, however, that Cage will commit enough effort to make that happen, though. I suspect that he’ll just walk though it, and won’t really embrace the stupidity of it all. Still, though, it’s possible.

update: According to the website for the film, the producers are now accepting song submissions for use in the film… If I don’t blog very much over the coming week, you’ll know what I’m up to.