Life is always full of ups and downs, especially when it comes to relationships. Let me be blunt for a second, sh*t happens. Whether you had any control over it or not, sometimes you get dumped, do the dumping, or it’s a mutual separation. Either way, it’s always tough going through something like this. How you help yourself cope is one of the most important choices a young twenty-something can make at this crazy time.

What do the girls at TwentyTweets do during a time like this? Obviously blog about it, but with the intent to share our extensive wealth of knowledge with the world (just kidding). While we may be tempted to start binge drinking at our fave dive bar (again, we kid, we kid), we know that staying positive will only lead to a more healthy outcome in the end. Here are some of our favorite ways to cope. (A couple drinks might help, though ;))

Delete Taylor Swift from your current playlist on iTunes. Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh, but sitting in a dark room listening to the most depressing break-up songs isn’t exactly the best way to try to stay positive. Tay might have some great words of wisdom, like in her newest hit “We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together,” but she will most likely make you feel more upset. Our advice? Get rid of Miss Swift, Adele, and any other angsty, man-hating musician for the time being. Instead, blast your favorite workout play list. Why? The majority of these songs are upbeat and usually have nothing to do with relationships (and more to do with shaking your ass… or nothing relevant at all).

Speaking of shaking your ass…Get to it. Hit the gym, a Zumba or spin class, or just kick your cute little tush into shape in your favorite way. There is no question that you will be a tad frustrated, so what’s a better way to ex-sponge these negative thoughts? Get moving! Instead of man-bashing at home and overdosing on Ben & Jerry’s (who was the genius who thought that was cool to do, anyway?), get out of the house ASAP. Even if you go for a brisk stroll with your favorite male companion (your pooch, duh) or bestie, anything is better than self-loathing and gaining any post-break up pounds!

Invest in a new scent. This might sound weird, but I noticed this truly does work. You might have been wearing the same perfume for years, but during that time you also dated so-and-so. What’s the biggest sense tied to memory? Scent. So while you prance around your day to day life, you might be reminded of random times you’d probably want to forget. Something as small as deodorant can make a difference. So freshen yourself with something new, you won’t regret it.

It’s time for some new jewels. Ugh… yeah, you might LOVE that necklace he gave you, but continuing to wear it isn’t going to help (no matter how much you try to kid yourself). My quick-fix? Head out to Alex and Ani (or another twenty-something-budget-friendly jeweler) and grab a new piece for yourself. At less than $30, it’s totally worth it. Take a step into your new life by treating that wonderful person in your life: YOU!

Stay busy!!! You have so many positive things going for you besides the unfortunate stuff that may be going on right now, so focus on those. Got a great career? Just keep succeeding. Great friends? Keep them closer than ever. Family who would do anything for you? Thank them for all of their love and care. Love a certain hobby? Get on that! Is your pet the sh*t? Cuddle the hell out of it! With all of these great things, who has time for a man?

Do not binge…anything. This means a bunch of things, so let me just mention them quickly so you know to steer very clear from these break-up methods. Drinking, shopping, hating, bashing, eating, not eating, etc… all of these things should be done in moderation. You wouldn’t go overboard with a clear mind, so why do it with a clouded one? C’mon, ladies. We all know we might be tempted to do any or all of the above, but that just feeds into that negative stereotype of the “dumped girl” (EW!). Let’s stay those great, beautiful, positive, and loving women that we all know we are.

On that note, grab your best friends and head out for a night on the town. Keep it casual, fun, and once again: positive. I can’t stress it enough. You need to take care of your awesome self so the next Prince Charming can come along and treat you like a Queen. And even if that takes weeks, months, or even years… There are SO many things you can put your time into right now! Spread the love, ladies. xo

One Response to Embrace that Break-up: The Best Ways to Stay Positive in the Midst of Negativity

This is some great advice! If you kept ANYTHING he gave you.. stuffed animals, picture frames, cards.. get rid of it! Just like the jewelry suggestion you made.. constant reminders only make it harder. Good luck 😦 !