Online Dating Gone Wrong

We all have our bad date stories

OK, look. We all have our bad date stories. We’ve all had experiences that, to us, are the worst dates in history. But I am a realist and I am aware that my stories probably pale in comparison to a lot of others out there and thankfully, my crazy dating woes are probably funny in hindsight. But I couldn’t resist sharing this one, because while I can now laugh my ass off at what happened, at the time this occurred, I probably thought this was the worst moment of my life. Looking back, it was probably the most laughable moment of my life. I met a guy named Dave on Match. He and I are both rather busy with careers, so the fact that we talked maybe once or twice a week was fine for both of us. As time passed, things progressed and we got to know each other pretty well. Needless to say, I was more and more comfortable with him each time we got on the phone or chatted on Skype. Since we Skyped about 50% of the time, this gave me a great chance to actually see him interact with me and I must say, he was easy on the eyes to boot! After about 2 months had gone by, we finally got our schedules to sync up so we could meet without interruption. Dave lived about 1 block from a pretty cool hot spot in town, so we thought it would be a good idea to stick close to home (since I lived only a mile from him as well). Dave suggested I meet him at his place so we could get acquainted, sit by the pool in his apartment complex and just chit chat for a bit before heading out. I thought this was a good idea because honestly, he was very polite, easygoing and very low pressure. He didn’t give any indication that I had anything to fear or worry about, and after the 2 months of talking, i didn’t have any problem meeting him at his place – especially since we were going to be out at the pool and not really spending time inside is place. I was cool with that. My only slight red flag was that after time, the conversation didn’t really get “kinky”, but he was starting to throw around the sexual innuendos on occasion and made hints toward things he liked sexually. OK, no big deal. I get it. He’s a guy and I have to admit, I am no prude. So while I didn’t allow the conversations to get too crazy, I played along – but casually. Well I guess my playing along gave Dave the wrong impression and here’s why. I arrived at Dave’s place for our date. Got to his door and was pretty excited to finally meet him. Well I knocked and it took him about 30-45 seconds to answer the door, which is actually quite a long time since his apartment really wasn’t that big! To my amazement, when the door opened, not only was Dave completely naked but…. well…. for lack of better terms, was pleasuring himself as he answered the door! And I don’t mean that he was just starting to do it either. He was actually very close to finishing. Again, for lack of a better term, he FINISHED about 3 seconds after opening the door…RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. He let out this grunt that could be heard a block away – and that’s not all he let out. I have heard stories that come close to this one (pardon the pun), but never this explicit. I think my jaw fell halfway to the floor. I was stunned, amazed and slightly frightened. All I could say was “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?”. I think I was two steps toward the door when I uttered those words and I actually didn’t hear Dave say another word. I just heard his door close. I got in my car and bolted from the scene. He texted me about 10 minutes later telling me he had been so turned on by our conversations and that he was beyond excited and aroused by me that he just couldn’t help himself. He also mentioned that he thought i would enjoy what I saw. Needless to say, while this was something I wouldn’t mind watching or seeing after I know someone much better, it was totally inappropriate at the time. I let him know that and asked him never to contact me again. Thankfully, he didn’t. From now on, I think I’ll stick to meeting in public for a first date!

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