Bart: [miming] I think you stink
Lisa: [miming] You drive me crazy
Bart and Lisa: [giggle]
Homer: I thought I told you two to knock it off?
Lisa: We didn't say anything
Bart: Not one word
Homer: Yeah, well no pantomomime either

Herb: Homer, you're the richest man I know
Homer: I feel the same about you

Homer: Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today...
[starts crying]
Marge: Oh, there there Homer, our little boy is growing up
Homer: No, it's not that Marge; didn't you hear? They have no bananas - they
have no bananas today [breaks down]

Marge: What's the matter with Bart?
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses

Cult member: Can I interest you in our free weekend session?
Homer: When is this weekend?
Cult member: It's this weekend
Homer: Oh, I see... and how much is this free weekend?
Cult member: Er... it's free
Homer: Uh huh, and when is this weekend?
Cult member: It's this weekend
Homer: And how much are you charging for this free weekend [gets dragged away by
Bart], it's free right?

Bodyguard Guy: As a bodyguard, your only loyalty is to your
protectee; not to your family, not to your country, not even to Muhammed
Homer: Even during Ramadan?
Bodyguard Guy: Shut your sass-hole, boy!

Bodyguard: So who else are you going to find to take a bullet
for you, or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?
Mayor Quimby: I'll tell you who - that guy [points to Homer]
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Marge: But Homey, I don't think you were listening
Homer: I said woo-hoo

Homer: And I asked for the double double, but they gave me the
double double double double

Homer: Clear! The pig is in the poke
Marge: Homer, I don't care for that code-name...
Homer: Look out Marge, cat!
Marge: I know you're excited about your new job, but could you just calm down
a little?
[Bart and Lisa enter]
Homer: Hold it, what's your clearance?
Bart: We just want to get a snack
Homer: Access denied [uses a sleeper hold on them - they fall to the floor]
Marge: Homer, I've told you, I don't like you using your new sleeper hold on the
kids!
Homer: Pfffff, they'll be fine in half an hour
Marge: That's not the point. And another thing, I told you to take out the
garbage three days ago and you still haven't...
[Homer uses his sleeper hold on Marge]
Marge: Meeeeeeh [falls to the floor]
Homer: [looks at his watch] Aw... still 30 minutes 'till dinner. Oh well [uses
sleeper hold on himself, but hits the table on the way down] Ow!

Homer: Crap on a crutch; they're milking rats! Milking rats!

Homer: Well, how was I to know it's not a real spaceship?

Mark Hamill: Homer, use the for...
Homer: The force?
Mark Hamill: The forks! Use the forks!
Homer: Oh

T.V. Guy: Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con: be there, and be square.
Bart: Yep, beats school
Homer: Yep, beats work

AA Lady: And we have sugar cookies and marshmellows
Homer: These sugar cookies you speak of... are they symbolic?
AA Lady: They're on that table, over there [points]
Homer: Aw... all the way over there? I don't want to walk all the way over
there... Anything that takes 12 steps isn't worth doing! Get it? Heh? Steps?
[cut to a scene of Homer waking up in some bushes rubbing his head]

Homer: Hey, Apu, got any of those Kettle chips that give you
diareah? I need to do a little spring cleaning

Homer: [Picks up payphone] Barney, the call is from heroism...
will you accept the charges?

Homer: [Wearing a sports bra that he found in a dumpster] Hey,
Bart, look what I found!
Bart: Dad, that's a sports bra
Homer: Who cares? I'm finally getting the support I need