I've lived many lives: serial entrepreneur, technology and CEO advisor, venture capitalist, engineer in the early days of Microsoft. Today I help CEOs in rapid growth and turnaround scenarios to achieve previously unheard of results through seeing into their blind spots, aligning their team and Board, changing challenging behaviors, increasing team accountability and execution. Some call me a Business Strategist, some call me an Executive Coach.

Bill Clinton, Barbara Walters, Stephen Hawking: What Handshakes of the Rich and Famous Say

Have you ever noticed that handshakes speak their own secret language? If you pay attention you’ll hear them whisper, yell, fret, or fawn.

And handshakes of the rich and famous—they’re amplified.

I’m at a soirée in New York when I meet the handshake on the far end of the spectrum. The band plays “Getting to Know You” as I receive an obligatory up-down jerk from junk bond King Michael Milken. Avoiding eye contact, Michael looks over my shoulder, searching for someone with status. “Isn’t There Someone More Interesting Here?” his handshake grumbles.

Pleased To Meet You

My favorite is the I’m Sincerely Pleased to Meet You and I Mean It shake, a double grip sporting three up-down pumps, meaningful eye contact, and a personal comment. For a fleeting moment, the shake feels like the belle of the ball. If I’m ever a VIP, this is the shake I’ll master. My first encounter with the Sincere shake is at the White House, when I meet Hillary Clinton.

She’s all warmth and compliments, asking about my experience as a woman in the early days of MicrosoftMicrosoft. There’s a smallish crowd here, so I figure she was briefed on the guests. Extensive background checks are required to get this close to the First Lady, the First Lady who memorized information on me. I am enthralled. Now she asks my opinion of contemporary poets.

I meet the Sincere shake again at a swanky Manhattan watering hole, where my friend Joel is celebrating his daughter’s debut at Carnegie Hall. I mingle with the glamorous crowd, feeling a little self-conscious as my jewels are not precious, my gown not couture. Barbara Walters is in the corner. She’s smaller than I’d expected—tiny, feisty, like an action figure. I introduce myself and she looks up smiling. I believe she is sincerely pleased to meet me and she means it.

“I love The View. It’s a wonderful show,” I gush. We are still holding hands.

“Thank you so much for saying that. Lately more people mention The View than 20-20. Why, do you think?”

“Because we want to drink coffee and chat with our girlfriends, like you do on the show—”

“And none of us have time to in our real lives—”

“Yes.”

“We need to change that,” she says with a brisk nod.

And I want to, to have time for girlfriends, but I am too busy trying to become a player, and I want her to be my friend, and I want to call her “Babs” and have some girl talk right here, right in the middle of this fancy private dining room where everyone except Barbara looks like they don’t want to know me because I’m not red-carpet perfect so I clearly am not a player. But I don’t cozy up to Barbara, because it doesn’t feel right. It feels kinda kiss-ass.

Deja Vu All Over Again

The second time I shake with Hillary we’re in the garden of a private Los Altos home. Once more she chooses the Sincere shake and then, to my astonishment, continues our conversation from eight months ago.

“So nice to see you again,” Hillary smiles. “I’ve considered our last conversation, at the White House, on poetry, and—”

She remembers we discussed Maya Angelou and e. e. cummings? There’s gotta be a wire in her ear, with Secret Service on the other end reading cue cards. I tilt to the left, lean forward, look at her ear. Hillary notices, her raised eyebrows seeming to ask, “Is there bird poop in my hair?”

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Handshakes are brand indicators. Who you are, how you feel about yourself and others comes through in the power (or lack of power) in our grip. Add the pleasantries associated with the handshake, and you have a total brand picture. Christine, thank you for the insights into the handshakes of the rich and famous. Loraine Antrim

Very interesting post – not surprised about Milken, nor that Clinton’s a bit of a ladies’ man even down to the handshake! I must start taking more note of these things, especially meeting the sorts of people I do working for Forbes. I remember Richard Branson being especially genuine and warm and eBay’s Pierre Omidyar a little wan and non-commital. Just shy I think. Al Sharpton’s a proper grab-your-hand shaker. Ditto Jamie Oliver. Anyway, thank you – will be taking notes from now on!