To My Commentors

My dear fans,

I am back! At least, back to my blog. If you are concerned, know that I am safe in a secret location in London. I am not staying in the country of England but I am in fact moving to France very soon. I believe it is long overdue to go to a country where I speak my native language after all!

Some of you have have come up to me, noting the fact that I am Belgian, disadvantaged in my height, advantaged in my girth, balding and moustached, and noted my abilities of observation. In noting it you have called me by a name that I never wished to be called. In my agitation I fought back, and occasionally quite rudely, and for this I feel I must explain.

I am a man who by my nature deduces. I observe, and then I use the little gray cells to find the solution to the problem before me. But in suddenly being swept up into this time and place I suddenly encountered a grave problem and realized that I had no means to solve it. I can find much in a crime scene that is out of place, that is troubling, and with them I understand the solution. But I am not in such a room or house; I am in a place unknown to me where I have no idea what is normal or out of place, and in being flooded with all the new information I retreated to the confines of the Widdecombe residence, where I was sheltered in the polite high society that I could understand. I took on an alias and refused to say who I was because I could not explain why; I could not account for my identity, and in a world where I was without reputation I would have sounded positively mad. And perhaps I got angry at people who seemed to understand who I was, justified with the most maddening nonsense not befitting the name of deduction, because in reality I had nothing that I could replace it with.

However, in this crisis I have come to discover that I have pushed away the people who care about my safety and are most capable of understanding and accepting my predicament, so I will break the silence I committed to and tell you la verité: I am inspector Hercule Poirot!

I do have something else to discuss with you; this morning I discovered that this Monsieur Hefner tried to find me and in doing so raided an apartment; not, I should mention, my true apartment but a decoy which I had provided to a source which I knew this Hefner character – if he really was so keen on finding me – would follow up on. This Belgian is too clever to give out the address of his real location so that I could be stolen from! Still this heinous act has injured whatever trust I held for the man, and it is clear that his interest in me was not temporary to the case. In that apartment I sent him a message as to who he is dealing with. It will not be the only message I send to him before I leave for France…

Monsieur Poirot, please don’t make the situation more complicated than it already is.
We knew that you really are Hercule Poirot from the very beginning. We know you’ve been swept up into this world and we believe you. We’ve been researching the situation for a while, and we believe we can help you get back home. Furthermore, you are not the only fish out of water, and we try to help all of them, and the first thing we need is to keep you out of trouble. To drive the point home, you and Hefner are, in fact, in the same boat. This world is not home to him, either.
But there is some force that wants to get both of you out of the way, and would benefit from your conflict. Please don’t play along. We can help both of you.
Stay safe.

It’s nice to see you finally embrace your identity, Poirot, and even better to hear that you are safe. But I must continue to insist that you and Hefner are both being played for fools, especially if you understood that Hefner himself is in a very similar predicament as you.

He too is a man who, somehow, was from another place and ended up here, where his identity was no longer his own but fictional. And like you, he too has come to realize that his pseudonym was no longer necessary. His real name is Sherlock Holmes. Your distrust for him is currently understandable, but you need to see that he is the same situation you’re in. The cops are after him for thinking he killed Okogwu, just as they are after you for verhaeren. Your situations are nearly identical, and we believe that it is the work of a third party that is setting you against each other.

I still believe in you, but both you and Holmes are making a mistake by trying to fight each other. You both are from another ‘place,’ this is your chance to maybe understand why.

I think you’ve come to this realization yourself, but Hefner (or Holmes whoever) and you are both tenacious deducers and investigators. You both do not like being TOLD the answers, you enjoy finding them yourself. Leave him the information that will help prove your innocence, lead him to the truth. Look inside yourself and you will know he will never rest until he’s seen this thing through. But if you must play ‘cat & mouse’ then you must.

Be more careful Poirot. I remain unconvinced that Holmes (And he is indeed Holmes. I, as someone very familiar with his tales can confirm that) is your enemy, but, assuming he is, I believe you should leave the country as soon as possible, rather that stay and try and fight. I do not know that you would lose the ensuing duel, but, as I see the situation, there are three possible victors: You, Holmes, and the hypothetical third party that my compatriots fear. We have a lot of evidence that there is something going on behind the scenes, but unfortunately, I have no time to post it here. This gives you a one in three chance, not the best of odds, especially when this whole world is at risk.

However, with your identity confirmed, I can speak to you of the reasoning I am using behind the scenes. Poirot, have you encountered the works of an author known as Agatha Christie? She is the one responsible for writing you exploits so that the people of this world can read about them. From what I have seen and what I have heard from my compatriots, her books seem to record your personality and tendencies faithfully. If that is true, then would it not follow that Arthur Conan Dolye’s record of Holmes’ adventures also record his character accurately? I can confirm that the man known as “Hefner” has so far remained true to Holmes’ personality, but, as you told me last time, I am not merely looking at this situation from one angle. I have come to the conclusion, therefor, that Hefner is either Holmes, or someone very familiar with him who is impersonating him. If the former, then this should give you the information you need on him, his character, and why I do not consider him evil:

If the latter, then it must be someone of equal intelligence who is, as I mentioned very familiar with his personality. This means that they are VERY dangerous, and should be avoided at all costs until we can get more information for you.

According to my analysis then, the safest thing to do would be to get out of the country as soon as possible and leave behind a web of as much misdirection as you can. Do you not agree?

Be careful, sir, and stay safe. I am not convinced this is the time to fight. You may not believe this, but perhaps in the future, you and he may both find yourself in a very different position, with some difficult choices to make. Every single one of us, I think, believes you capable of making those choices.

However, try not to be too suspicious of Holmes. I suggest heading to the nearest bookstore and going to look at the works of an author called Arthur Conan Doyle. I suggest finding and reading these three books:
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes- a true classic.
The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes- it shows why Moriarty is dangerous.
The Return of Sherlock Holmes- some more good cases.

Hercule, I feel it would be in all of our best interests to tell us everything you know about going from your world to ours, including the subjects of how you got here, what you have seen near or behind “the wall”, your initial refusal to admit your true identity, and any other possible information that is relevant to our cause. You should know by now that we are rather trustworthy, and have repeatedly helped you.

If you remain unconvinced, I do have some form of bargaining tool. In the form of knowledge, one of your favorite currencies, it appears.

I know your future, Poirot. We all do. We know how you die.

Even if you wish not to know, or have found out already, I highly implore you to answer this helpfully. Something much bigger than your life is at stake here. The entire universe hangs in the balance here, and information is our only weapon.