Miyanon: Oh bugger off.
People think I'm dead for crying out loud. I'm really close to it
actually. Believe it or not. I worked 53 hours at work last week and
I had two exams and a paper due too! It's insane! I hate my
schedule!

Bejita: -smacks Miya
over the head- Calm down, girl. It's all over with now.

Miyanon: -giggles
insanely- Yes…yes, it is. Isn't it?

B&B: -stare-

0000oooo0000

Vegeta saw spots
flitting before his eyes from the sudden backlash of pure white.
Massaging his eyes, it took a while before he could actually see
straight, simply following the younger saiyajin towards his parents.

Where was this
place?

And he wasn't exactly
enthusiastic to see his parents, realizing they had both planned this
whole "turn Kakarot into a girl fiasco," especially a certain
royal twit who messed around in his mind. Finally his vision was
coming back to him, but not soon enough to bump into Kakarot's back
when she suddenly came to a stop. Squinting his eyes, the prince was
able to make out a mess of people in front of him. Including two
winged creatures that looked a hell of a lot like…

Vegeta's eyes went
wide and he blinked at the distorted image before him. A pinch to his
side didn't hurt either.

Reality confirmed. His
parents were wearing white robes and had angel wings.

"!$&$"
he screeched in a language neither native to Earth or Saiya.

Goku could only stare
at the duo in amazement, "Wow you never told me that your parents
were angels, Vegeta. I mean…isn't it kind of weird? Are you the
black sheep or something?" However, her surprised subsided when she
gazed more closely upon the taller, goateed saiyajin. Something about
him…just made her stomach curl unpleasantly. It really didn't
help that he was directly avoiding her gaze, opting to whistle and
stare up at the pure blue sky.

"What the hell- Why
are you dressed like that!" the prince demanded advancing upon the
royal pair. "I thought you were down in-" He was immediately
caught and smothered by his two heavenized parents before he could
damn them. "MMmmMHHh!" His curses came out as an angry buzz as
he fought to wrestle himself out of his mother's arms about his
waist and the combo head-lock-face-smother that his father was
pulling.

"My dear boy,
whatever are you talking about?" Bejita asked with a wide, toothy
grin, squeezing his son's neck even tighter. Vegeta glared at him
venomously and huffed. Fine, you old fart, I'll keep it a
secret. Upon the unspoken agreement, the king released his son
and patted him on top of the head. His eyes scourged Vegeta's
person, evaluating him as he stroked his goatee. "Well it's been
a while since I've actually seen you in person. You seem stunted."

However, the saiyajin
queen easily ignored the plea. "Veggie-chan, just indulge me a
little. I haven't been able to hold you for half a century," she
asked, her hands gently curling fistfuls of her son's shirt. Almost
instantly, Vegeta's struggling ceased and he sighed heavily for
pure show. It was…actually nice to see his parents safe and sound.
And while this blaringly white place wasn't ideal, at least they
were out of Hell. (Though HOW they got out was still a completely
mystery to him.) Then his hard eyes set upon the people he had
already noticed, but denied their existence as he was busy "meeting"
his parents. Goku was already engaged in conversation with the motley
lot. They included what looked like a holy host of angels who were
more like whithered old bats with white wings. There was also the
Grand Kai, the ruler of fighter heaven. King (North) Kai was there
too, just for the hell of it.

"…through these
signs, we suspect that Greater Hell and HFIL lead under Satan
himself, and I don't mean Hercule, are conspiring to surmount an
attack against Upper Netherworld!" King Kai finished, panting after
what must have been a long, arduous explanation. Vegeta's subject
merely stared at the little blue man, still in the middle of
processing the overcomplicated information. Wait, something wasn't
right, the prince thought, giving the group another glance. If his
parents were here, then shouldn't Bardock be here as well? Why was
he missing?

"I don't get it,"
Goku sighed, crossing her arms and tilting her head in a typical
confused Son fashion. "Why does the devil need to kidnap an angel?
What could that possibly accomplish?"

Kidnapping! Vegeta's
eyes widened with surprise and he looked to his parents for
confirmation. Their faces were solemn, though he knew saiyajin and
his parents well enough to see the underlying guilt and rage. It was
one of their own. And the only other one of their own that was up
here was Bardock… As the realization dawned on him, the prince's
face went carefully blank. He wasn't quite sure what to do first-
Scream and jump for joy, or makeout with Kayka.

…Oh wait, the making
out was off the list until the two settled their differences.

One of the angels began
to speak. A runt of an alien, who had the letters MM strapped around
his right arm. "There are four ways for the fallen angel to invade
Heaven. One would be to lay siege, which is impossible and stupid
since Heaven is self-contained and self-reliant. Another would be to
storm Heaven by force, however our natural defenses would take
millennia to work through and we'd notice it long before they'd
get through. Then there's just waiting for Judgement Day, but
that's a long way off and their activities seem to indicate only
the short term. Forth is for Hell's legions to simply walk through
the front gate."

Both Goku and Vegeta
nearly jolted. Laughing lightly, Grand Kai explained the general's
statement, "Angels can open the gates of Heaven to exit and enter
whenever they want. They never do because they can simply travel as
ethereal beings to their destinations. And frankly it's dangerous
to open the gates because anything and I mean ANYTHING can get
through." The fighting master stroked his long silvery beard as he
continued, "Simply put, the devil can simply pluck a freshly caught
angel, bedazzle the poor fool and then make him open the gate.
However, there is a problem in this, because in order to make the
angel open the gate willingly, Lucifer has to make him a fallen
angel. This sets off a "fallen timer" when the angel transforms
into a demon. Of course, that means there's a very limited time
that can be used for that angel to open the gates."

"So what are we doing
here then?" the prince demanded, finally peeling himself from the
clingy Ruby.

"Oh, we just want you
to help out when Furiza, Cell, the Ginyuu Force, and various other
villains invade, such as all the evil forces that have ever existed
as well as all occupants of Hell, and HFIL, and all the demons and
devils and whatever else you can possibly think of," King Kai
replied sarcastically.

Vegeta blinked, once,
twice. "I call dibs on Furiza!" he cried at almost the exact same
instant as his father, beating him by just a nanosecond.

Wait, does this mean
I have to fight Coora AGAIN? Goku thought to herself, utterly
amazed at the idea.

0000oooo0000

This is ridiculous.

The army of angels and
heavenly fighters armed to the teeth were simply swarmed up together,
lounging as far as the eye could see in the gargantuan courtyard that
lay around the gates of Heaven. Rather than a gate, it seemed like a
round trapdoor surrounded by marble tiling. It's still
impressive though, Vegeta thought, as he stood watch (more like
sat watch) over the area. If nothing else, the sheer mass of the
gates would draw anyone's vision towards it, making Vegeta wonder
how any normal pansy-assed angel could even nudge the thing rather
than open it. Its golden representations and runes were also a sight
to behold, depicting clashes between Heaven and Hell, with what
looked like Enma's castle stuck in between, which inevitably was
destroyed.

As impressive as the
thing was, the prince was still annoyed by his situation. One – he
was simply WAITING for Bardock to be corrupted, so that the saiyajin
could open the door to Heaven. At least I don't have to wait
long. Two – he was stuck keeping watch on a cloud of all
things. Three – it was a two man job, so of COURSE the object of
all his venom for the past day was stationed with him. Four – said
object of his venom was currently laughing her ass off at his wings.
Oh yeah, and Five – he had angel wings pasted to his back.

The sight of Vegeta in
angel wings was almost too much for Goku to beat. However, the prince
of all saiyajin could only afford her a cold look as she pounded the
fluffy cloud floor in fits of laughter. We're not friendly
enough for you to mock me, he thought at her. Obviously, she
didn't feel the thought since she took only one look at Vegeta
before getting even more hysterical. They're not even real wings
for gods' sakes, he sulked, not daring to voice his complaint
aloud.

Since in wartime
everyone in heaven had to have the uniform angelic white wings, Kami
no Tsubasa were a product of Heaven for those that didn't want
to be branded with the standard wings for the rest of eternity. They
looked and felt like real wings, however they had no muscle in them
to attach themselves and basically mutilate the shoulder blades
(assuming you had any.) Of course, regular angel-angels, like his
parents now, had to get permanent wings.

'What? They don't
come off!' his mother screeched, while Vegeta was being fitted
with the paper wings.

The king shrugged
his shoulders at it. 'Oh well, can't really complain can we?'
Then he ate a Philly steak and cheese sub.

To say that was
anticlimactic would be a complete understatement. Apparently, getting
a taste of Heaven and a lot of Hell had mellowed out his father. The
thought was disturbing.

…And where in hell
did he get an addiction to Philly steak and cheese?

Finally, Goku had
calmed down enough to look at him at least, though her face was still
quite red. Of course, the younger saiyajin looks perfect with her own
paper wings. Still giggling, she wiped away the tears that had
collected in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Vegeta, you look so cute."
Cute? "Sorry, sorry." The prince sent her a chilling
glare, that instantly reminded her of their conflict. Her eyes turned
away and she whispered, "Sorry."

"Hn," Vegeta
snorted, turning his gaze away from her and to the golden gates
below. Pursing her lips, Goku bobbed up and down on her heels as she
watched the lack of activity below. After only a moment, she changed
positions and flopped on her belly and watched the host of angels
below, wiggling her legs up in the air. Not even five minutes after
that, she flipped over and then looked at the group below from an
inverted perspective. And then right after that, she - "Dammit,
Kakarot! Stop moving around, you're irritating me!" the prince
snapped. Goku looked up at him with a cock of the head and then
bounced up to a squat.

"But I'm bored."

"I don't care,"
he retorted, looking away.

Goku shifted again,
feeling uncomfortable suddenly. Like anxiety was squelching bubbles
in her stomach. Vegeta had much too suddenly turned back to his old
prickly self, the one that was around before Buu came along. And that
was a bad omen, since he did betray the whole lot of them by becoming
a Majin.

"…Can we talk,
Vegeta?"

"Talk about what,
pray tell?" the sea urchin demanded.

The younger saiyajin's
mouth formed a moue of anger, seeing as Vegeta didn't want to even
come to Heaven in favor of working this out. But the grimace
disappeared when she remembered that this was all her fault to begin
with. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you," she mumbled
quietly.

"Oh? I thought you
were in love with me. I thought that was a natural thing to do with
someone you love and who loves you back," Vegeta spat out bitterly,
not daring to look at his ally in the eye. There was no way he could
face the twit now without doing SOMETHING irrational.

Again, Goku's face
went red with indignation. "Vegeta! It's not that simple!"

"Aren't you the one
who always says, 'Do what you feel is right?' Or are you just
being a giant hypocrite!"

"So WHAT if I am! I'm
allowed to make mistakes aren't I? I'm only human!"

The warrior prince
flinched just in time for Goku to see that she had hit a nerve. Eyes
narrow, Vegeta turned on the girl and growled in a low, quiet voice,
"You are not human. And you will never be human. Stop tying to
delude yourself and attempting to fit into those people's
conforms."

"Why not, if it kept
me from becoming like you?" the younger saiyajin hissed with a
viciousness foreign to her. The prince's eyes flashed with anger
and his mouth set in a tight thin line as his teeth ground together.
His leather gloves squeaked as his hands fisted into tight balls. I
can't believe I just said that, Goku thought, surprised at her
own words. It was a stupid, awful thing to say. I should take it
back.

…But she just didn't
feel like it.

Without a word, Vegeta
stood up and stepped off the cloud, gliding away from her. He
situated himself right over the gates and merely hovered there with
his back to her. Good call, I don't want to see your sorry face
either, Goku thought viciously, spinning around on top of her
cloud and sulking.

Just a little aways,
two other angels were doing their own watching duties. However, they
were watching the wrong thing. "Oh for the love of-" Ruby
started, glaring at the duo from her binoculars, while her mate
ho-hummed by her side. "Those two are being complete numbskulls!"
she ranted on. "Bejita, why don't you do something? They're
your pet project aren't they?"

The king merely sighed.
"I've done enough meddling. It's because of this whole mess
that Bardock is in the clutches of the most evil of all things in the
universe and we're just sitting here and waiting for him to be
corrupted."

"Honestly, Beji-kun,
you don't know whether this turning Kakarot into a girl thing is
what got him kidnapped," she reasoned, though her instincts told
her differently. "I mean, it's probably because Bardock didn't
even want to be in Heaven in the first place, though I have no idea
why. It wouldn't take long at all for him to be turned."

"Ruby, I know from
first hand experience that Bardock is not a kind of saiyajin who will
ever submit," Bejita huffed and took a swig of the liquor that he
had at his disposal.

"…What kind of
first hand experience did you have with him that involved
submitting?" the queen demanded, suddenly very suspicious.
Bejita stared at her blankly, then took another swig of his drink.
Damn, Dockers is right, you really can't get drunk here.
"Bejita, you answer me right now!"

"Honey, what's
that?" the king asked suddenly, pointing over towards the gate.

"Don't you dare try
to get out of this!" Ruby snapped, crossing her arms over her
bosom.

"No, seriously.
Look!" Despite herself, the queen glanced downwards, only to feel a
dawning apprehension in her gut. Why did the golden doors look as
though a sheet of gray muck had just been sloshed over them?

0000oooo0000

Bardock's tongue
grazed over his growing incisors, drawing sweet, sweet blood into the
back of his throat. It was a bad habit of bloodlust that saiyajin
children were forced to grow out of since they could slice their
tongues into ribbons when they got older. However, the former angel
couldn't help himself. It probably had to do with pact with
Ryuushifa, or Lucifer, that he made just a short time ago. His
saiyajin bloodlust, growing even more potent. His canines resembled a
carnivore's fangs. His white wings were blotched with mats of
syrupy black tar. And of course he had a change in attire. Instead of
the annoying gown, he was endowed with crimson and ebony armor that
bore a striking resemblance to saiyajin armor. The cape was awesome
though.

He knew he was just
being used… But for some reason, he just didn't really care.
Especially not when he was being treated like royalty, as he was
being hauled in a special palanquin behind enemy lines (namely Enma's
castle) up towards where the Gates of Heaven should be. No doubt that
when this was all over, he was merely going to be discarded to all
the rest of these wretches.

"Not necessarily, o'
winged one," came a sultry hiss from his companion. A being that
could easily be mistaken for a saiyajin, save for the long straight
black hair that defied gravity, and the ivory, flawless skin that no
warrior possessed. And of course, the lack of a tail. Really, this
six-winged fallen angel bore no resemblance to the tall tales that
Bardock had heard about Satan. He was definitely not a half-goat man
with red skin and a serpent tail with a goatee. That sounded more
like Bejita compared to this bare-faced, inhumanely good looking
thing. The only thing monstrous about him were his blackish claws,
his three pairs of ebony wings, and the eyes in particular.

For some reason,
nothing reflected in his eyes, as though they sucked in all the light
that came into them.

"Saiyajin, if you're
going to be a fallen angel, you have to learn some vanity," the
Devil teased darkly. "I could use one such as yourself in my
harem."

Just then, the saiyajin
felt like vomiting. He swallowed down the acidy bile that collected
up in the back of his throat and grimaced openly. "I bet you're
even dirtier than all you own," he snapped, still queasy. Hell,
some blood would be good right now to wash THAT down.

Smiling, Satan didn't
reply, his lightless eyes narrowing on him. In one graceful motion,
far too quick for Bardock to catch, the Prince of Darkness stroked
the angel's cheek. Suddenly, Bardock found it hard to breathe,
while the interior of the palanquin turned even hotter than a
pyroclastic surge. Insufferable chills ran up and down his body,
freezing and burning him all at once. Turning to Lucifer to demand an
explanation, Bardock faced the most gorgeous being he had ever seen.
The heat turned even worse as his quivering eyes roamed over the
prince's lithe body. You beautiful bastard, the saiyajin
thought, his mind suffering from lustful rage.

Without hesitation,
Bardock grabbed the devil's neck and wrenched him into a hellfired
kiss, his tongue groping every part of Lucifer's mouth. However,
his subject became bored quickly and shoved the angel away.
Instantly, every heated passion that stirred in the saiayjin's body
vanished as sanity was restored in his mind.

Experimentally, Lucifer
licked his upper lip where Bardock had actually bitten him in his
frenzy. "Not bad," he said calmly, as though he were tasting a
new wine, "but a bit aggressive."

Revulsion screamed from
every bone in the saiyajin's body as he picked himself up and
forced himself to face his seducer. Out of whatever favors left owed
to him by God, the palanquin's motion ceased, signaling the end of
the journey. Calmly, the devil stood, picking up the hem of his satin
robe as he stepped out of the vessel. "slut," he hissed,
as he hovered out into the air, all six of his wings bearing the
brunt of his heavy vices.

Bardock punctured a
hole in his tongue and blood spilled into the well of his throat and
dribbled down his chin, in the desperate act of washing away all of
the nauseating taste from his mouth. I don't remember why I
decided to join up with him, but it damn well better have been a good
reason, he thought bitterly to himself as he stepped out of the
palanquin.

At once he was greeted
with a golden pair of doors as large as the base of a mountain.
Struck dumb with seeing the Gates so close up, the saiyajin forgot
about his self-disgust in favor of trying to find a way to take the
entire thing in. How was he supposed to open this damn thing!

A clawed hand touched
his shoulder, making him recoil. "Come on now, everyone's waiting
for you."

Glancing behind him,
Bardock took in the palanquin carriers, two pairs of purple
bat-winged monstrosities deformed with wickedness. And just a short
distance away were the front lines to an army that extended beyond
the saiyajin's sight.

…He'd seen whole
planets send their entire force at him before, but this was
ridiculous.

"Do you think you
brought enough?" he snarked saracastically. Receiving not a reply,
but a shove, Bardock was faced once again with his daunting task. I
JUST have to open the gates, huh? he thought, scowling at the
doors. There had to be some other way to do this instead of bashing
his head in against the thing. Then, the angel spotted a strange
mechanism in the middle of the doorway. Bardock reluctantly flew
towards it. Suddenly, he was assaulted again with a suffocation and
heat not unlike what he had just experienced in the palanquin.

The saiyajin sent an
accusing glare back at his master. However, his thoughts were still
lucid at the sight of him and he could detect no mischievousness
coming from supernatural being. Turning his attention back to the
doors, Bardock determined that it had to be some sort of divine
power. Ironic how it felt almost identical to Lucifer's.

So this is why you
can't go anywhere near this door, he thought at the devil, who
only confirmed his suspicions with a smirk. Having no choice but to
plow through, Bardock prepared himself for the agony that awaited
him.

It started as mere
pinpricks, but then exponentially grew worse as he drew nearer. Hot
roils oscillated through him and he had to bite his pathetic tongue
again, just to keep himself from screaming in agony. It felt as
though his skin was melting and he was being charbroiled alive in the
rays of a white dwarf sun. Sweat and tears poured from him in rivers
as he fought closer (assuming he still had skin) until finally he
came to the tiny device that was killing him.

…A password lock. A
PASSWORD LOCK! Bardock would have screamed if he still had a
functioning tongue. THIS was what had kept Lucifer at bay ever since
before time even began! Any respect that the saiyajin might have had
for the devil vanished completely.

USER ID:

Tempted to sigh, the
angel punched in his Angel HQ issued ID. All 40 numbers and letters.
Sheesh, no wonder no one comes through this way, Bardock
thought, in spite of feeling his brain roasting inside his skull. He
punched in the last code and with an air of finality, he pressed the
ENTER button. All the determination that had kept him going, suddenly
departed and the saiyajin's eyes rolled up into his skull as he
lost consciousness. He fell from the gates of heaven, right into the
awaiting arms of Lucifer.

PASSWORD
ACCEPTEDPLEASE LOCK THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY
IN

0000oooo0000

B&B: ………

Miyanon: Well? What did
you think?

B&B: YOU MADE US
GAY, YOU CRAZY WENCH!

Bardock: -glares at
Bejita- Made YOU gay? I'M the one who snogged the devil!

Bejita: That wasn't
consensual! She made me imply that we had relations!

Bardock: …THAT JUST
MAKES ME EVEN MORE GAY!

Bejita: Hellooo Did
you not see how subdued I was! You were going all macho in this
chapter!

Bardock: You weren't
"subdued," Ruby just has your ass whipped!

Bejita: Talk to the
hand

Bardock: -mouth
gapes-

Miyanon: Aww How cute!
You guys are arguing which one of you is the more homosexual one! I
admire your courage for coming out of the closet!

Bejita: …WE ARE GOING
TO-

Bardock: KILL YOU!

Miyanon: -coughs- Ah
well, if you don't hear from me again, it'll probably be because
I've been done in by these two once and for all. Now excuse me
while I run for my life. –scampers off-

B&B: GET BACK HERE!

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