What to do when you're dumped

Samantha had been dating Phillip for two years. At one time, they had talked about marriage. Suddenly, he declared one night that he wanted to take a break. He thought he might want to see others. She was exasperated. She entered the horrible relational phase of what I call "missing in action." Do you work through the loss of the relationship because it's over? Do you wait for the other to comeback? Do you deny what is going on?

Often you may be reluctant to date another because you cling to what you thought was a meaningful relationship. It was close to being what you wanted but now, it's not working out. A lot of your time can be wasted, as you feel confused, unfulfilled and undecided about moving on.

Most of the time we really don't know if a relationship has ended. Over time, things become clear, but usually not at first. As the baseball Yankee great, Yogi Bera's once said..."It ain't over till it's over." Some withdraw and say they need to end a relationship or see others because they can't tolerate the intimacy. They let their partner get too close and can't stand this intimacy. They are erecting love barriers and actually can be driving off the love they may seek. They end a relationship because they may fear being too vulnerable and losing control of their feelings.

On the opposite side of the continum, some withdraw because they just don't love their partner enough. They might at a later time feel differently. Sometimes we take a step back in a relationship, before moving two steps forward. It's normal to be unsure. Many aren't use to discovering flaws and then looking for solutions or being tolerant, accepting and understanding. More often, couples have difficulty forgiving and resolving conflicts which may motivate a withdrawal.

It can be an excruciating, confusing period when your partner becomes "missing in action." When your other is "missing in action," you aren't sure if they're out of your life forever or may re-emerge. When you are at this limbo stage, you may need to start seeing others while maintaining contact with him. Often, this person may need to gain more dating experience to determine what satisfies them and what they will choose or settle for. You may actually be what is best for them but they may not be able to appreciate it because they want even more. Have ever had someone who has dumped you call you months later and confess they miss you, and want you back? Unfortunately, for them, the relational window may have closed as you moved on.

Some begin dating, don't miss the other, and go along their merry way, surprised that they can substitute a new person so fast. Good for them.

For the relationship's dumper, it can be draining because they hate to cut off what may be a meaningful relationship. Often they can't see remaining exclusively in this relationship. They frequently can say things such as, "I need to be free.", " I need to see others,"or "I have some things I have to work out alone." They can be torn between missing their partner, being afraid they will drive them completely away and not wanting to feel trapped. This massive ambivalence can drain and destroy their mental health and the vitality of their previous relationship. This state may drag on for years without resolution as other people enter and exit the picture.

For the dumpee, the choice may be as unclear. Can I share her or just end this? They may be aware of the ambivalence, get mixed messages from the dumper like..., "I love you but I feel trapped and need to see others. I don't know where these other relationships will go." This can lead to confusion, jealousy and distress. A strong desire to predict the unpredictable future can create substantial anxiety.

"Do I wait for her to come to her senses? Do I enjoy her while I can, when I can? Should I just cease contact completely, get on with my life and not worry about what's going on in her head? Should I just take care of my head?" For most, they are happiest doing the later, to get on with their lives and not wait.

Don't try to be concerned with your partner's dilemma. Do what makes it easier for you to survive.. Some are able to start dating others and see their old partner. As Lee remarked, "When I see Sara, it is warm, comfortable and we still get along. I can enjoy her for what it is. I don't need to feel there has to be a future or the illusion of a future to enjoy her. As long as it is pleasurable and I have her and I've nothing better to do, I'll see her. I'm not waiting. I'm trying to meet others and to take care of myself. I know she has to find some things out for herself."

There are some whose reaction to loss is to climb back in the saddle as quickly as they can. They don't take the time to process or learn from what happened. They can choose to float from one short-term relationship to another. Some go through a "plunder" stage where they sexually experiment with many partners. These people don't deal with the breakup; instead, they seek instant companionship. They can appear addicted to pursuing and/or having sexual satisfaction. This provides the focus of their behaviors. It's as if a substitute player must immediately come into the game. These people feel desperate, lonely and perceive themselves as needing a lover in order to be fulfilled. Though they may have difficulties maintaining relationships, they often can't exist comfortable outside of one. Many seem to need the opposite sex to validate themselves. They look for other people's approval and acceptance as proof that they are lovable. If they are unable to obtain this, they regard themselves poorly. Unfortunately, these people tend to discount others who do treat them positively. They are often the ones who can comment, "I don't want to be a member of any organization that will have me." Consequently, they can remain extremely insecure.

Roberta had difficulty being by herself. She would become anxious and frightened, especially when she was alone at night. In an attempt to ward off these feelings, she often would go to the only place open later where people hung out, bars. There, she customarily would be approached by men, because she was an attractive, personable woman. It appeared that most of the men ended up using her. She had a good nursing job, but kept finding men who were unemployed, drank a lot and needed a place to stay. It was as if their desires complimented hers, because she didn't want to be alone and they seemed to need her. This made her feel worthwhile and important. Unfortunately, she started feeling disillusioned and felt used. Much of this was due to her lack of insight and denial. She became cynical, and questioned her self-worth. She started doubting whether there were any "good ones" left, and developed more anger toward men. She began to realize her self-defeating pattern and was able to change it. She had to work actively on being able to receive instead of just to give. She had to permit herself to savor, enjoy and trust being nourished. If someone didn't treat her as she liked, she didn't wait for him to change. She even bought a dog for companionship to help her get through the night.She realized she had self-worth regardless of whether a man was around. Importantly for her, she was able to learn to receive support from God's love. After a series of realtionships where she felt dumped, she was able to exist alone better.

When your partner becomes missing in action, take care of yourself. Find other support systems. Enjoy your new freedom if you can. Get out of their head, don't be preoccupied with what they may be thinking, doing or feeling. Remember, most of several years later, barely recall the relationship. It's corny but time does help this process. I like to listen to music that makes me aware of the universality of this life event.

What do you do, when you're dumped? Any suggestions you can comment about?

Being dumped is never easy, often happens when we least expected.
The first time I ever went through a break-up I gave myself a 10 day mourning and hope period. In these 10 days, I cried, I screamed, I dreamed, I wished, I hoped and I prayed that maybe things would change.
On the 11th day, I woke up knowing my 10 days is over. Life has to move on. Clinging on to something is detrimental not only the dumped but also to the relationship the dumped and the dumpee can share.
Everyone needs time to grieve, wish and hope but then lines should be drawn.

I was married to someone from another country in Europe. We had a 22 year age difference which she claimed did not bother her. She seemed so sweet and supporting at the beginning. I invited her to the United States, Florida, and after getting her social security card and green card she started picking on little things and blowing them out of proportion. There were deaths involved in my family and in hers. I lost three relatives, one after the other. Her divorce came felt like another death. I ended up in the hospital three times from the tremendous stress. I was helping her family and parents with money. She did not appreciate it. She went on mysterious domestic? and international trips to her country. She never gave me all the details, but she always kept asking me for money. She received the final divorce appears as if I did anything bad to her and gave me my copy. Now she is back in the United States doing who knows what. Women are users and evil. I doubt that most women want a family. That is why the divorce rate is so high. Once they get what they want from the men they go their own way. I base this on my own experience. Women who read this of course would disagree, but the very high divorce rate for first marriages speaks for itself, and the divorce rate for second marriages, from what I read, is even higher at 80% . What does that tell you? I salute women who have been loyal to their husbands and I exclude them and those who love their families, but the ones who manipulate men and take everything they should burn in hell with the devil !!!!!

You are quite clearly going after women well out of your league and of a certain type and then blaming them instead of yourself. There is no such thing as all men are a) or all women are b) and anyone claiming such a thing tells us a HUGE amount about themselves, but nothing whatsoever about women or men.

22 years is a HUGE age gap, why on earth aren't you looking for someone your own age? Because you claim to want a partner but actually you want hot sex with someone who is much more attractive than you are, what's more you chose to purchase a woman you knew was in desperate circumstances in the hope that she would be grateful enough or desperate enough to stay with you. Read Misperceptions of sexual interest by C Perilloux for some pointers.

Go after someone well within your own league. Stop chasing after women who are unavailable and clearly much more attractive than you. Ask someone who does not know you for an independent attractiveness rating. I you are a 5 or 6 going after 8s or 9s. This will never work out. Even if you were wealthy, people can only stand to be around someone that doesn't attract them for a certain amount of time.

If you stop only chasing after women who can be bought - just like men some women can be bought - stop chasing women where there is a massive age and power imbalance and stop running after women who are clearly much more attractive than you you will find much greater success.

I am at the dumpee's side. I was dumped 4 months ago when me and my ex were talking about marriage. He dumped me 4-5 times before in the relationship, and in some he returned begging and crying and in some I took him back by insisting to talk and handle the situation. I think the most important thing in these cases is to accept whatever comes. I am also someone who feels unloved and worthless when I am not provided a man's love most of the time so I begged my ex for not leaving me and told him I would do whatever he wanted. This is a very miserable kind of behaviour, but I did it(he did it in the past,too).He rejected taking my calls and told me he would leave the city if I called him. He finished things on the phone which hurt me a lot and when I asked the reason of his dumping me he said he loved me less than he did before.A day ago he was very intimate with me though.
So whatever we do, we need self respect and should not stop analyzing and observing the person we have in our lives, otherwise the surprises(!) may appear.
Everyone tells me I am precious with him or without him, I do agree, but anyway the ego crush does not go away.Hope I'll figure out what to do exactly.
Wishing self-love and respect to everyone...

I both knew the feelings, i dumped some men like a snap of my finger without considering their feelings because i simply want to be free. Now i know the feeling because my recent bf just dumped me, and cannot count how many times he told me he dont want to be with me anymore.

And still Im undecided, i want to move on completely but its difficult
i tried all ways, finding a substitute bf, going to bars, i make my self busy, read books, go to gym, i can say i look like a desperate woman my self which people around me will never think i would become.

Still im trying to figure out, which will be effective. Because until now, no matter what im doing, i still would like to come back to him, although in my head im sure and in my heart i feel He will not come back.

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I just recently got dumped and have been feeling horrible, used, and generally worthless. I tend to give too much in relationships and I know that's a big problem of mine being "too nice." I truly cared about my boyfriend and I guess he just didn't feel the same despite claiming that he was happy, satisfied, etc. I guess I'm better off without him, but it has been very hard for me as this is the way I have always been treated in past relationships. So, as a result, I'm now pretty much terrified of being in an intimate relationship again. It's hard to repeatedly open yourself up emotionally and physically to those who only want to exploit those things. Ugh.

I am a 64 yr old woman who was just dumped from a 15 month relationship. He was only the second man I have ever been with and I absolutely adored him. He told me he had wanted to break up for 6 months but didn't have the nerve to tell me. It made me feel like a fool, cheap and worthless. I had a scathing e-mail to send him, but after reading your article I have re considered. I will take the high road and show him what a classy lady he threw away.

Well, I'm experiencing that bitter taste of being dumped for the first time in my whole life and I might say it's REALLY mortifying. I don't know if it's just because I've done this to other people a lot of times before, or if it's because I have NEVER loved anyone before (the first person I've ever said 'I Love You' was him), or if it's just because we're still roommates and I CAN'T live a single day without seeing him, talking to him, eating, drinking, dividing the debts and performing the house-tasks with him...
I feel a turmoil of mixed feelings that expresses all of those bad things about being dumped. I feel it all at once. It's really, really painful. I'm feeling chastened for some reason, you know?
The weirdest thing of all is that I was never a person like this, I've always been a confident, assertive, resolved and energetic person, but through the weeks that we've been living together, he always complained about my ethos and genius and I became more sensitive, I became more of a touchy-feeling person, and consequently, I became more dependable.
Now I can't avoid blame him for all this, for getting me molded into this weak, chagrin bringer that I am today, but I know it's all my fault. I could never let it happen, though. Could never fall in love so easily for a person like him. And the worse thing is that he is my roommate, I can't move on just because of all the contact I still have with him.
My life is a mess... I can't stand this...

Red Flags and traces of the intention to dump are all over. Does not say where she goes, dresses like a queen, requires time to be free, on her own... Get to her I phone anxiously all the time and flips it down so I won't see who called or left a text message. The symptoms of BPD are clear. Abusive father, mistreated as a child, unable to love and commit when adversity shows up. I've gone through everything here. mourning, waiting, hoping, wishing, praying... but when she got into insulting, humiliating, violent with her hands and with the urgency to get out of the house, I realized that I must respect myself and don't deserve an exchange of bread for crumbles. Her 13 year old son gets fine with me and I feel sorry for the confusion she will create. She needs a monetary lift combined with lust. Yet when she remembers the QUALITY of my spirit: attentive listener, care-taker at the house, STRONG presence, I know she will call back. When? God knows when she realizes her stupidity which she calls "the need to go forward!" Well, she will have to lie, hide, cheat, invent and continue to be a drama junkie, manipulator, control addict and LDP (love disable person). I have been betrayed, but...I unloaded the problem into another sucker. Fact. Guaranteed!

1. Come back into yourself.
2. Stop your inner dialogue to play tricks on you. I started singing HU, an ancient name for God and visualizing Khali Daki while reciting Sanskrit mantras enfolding, enwrapping, surrounding me. Guess what... I began to understand the situation better. Our selfishness prevents us from letting go and accepting that people are free and need to do what they please. Love like life begins and ends. When a chapter closes, another is to begin. Avoid the same trap and ask the person as to who their parents are and how they got along or you will suffer the consequences...
3. Avoid seeing her in your mind doing something with another person. She is owner of her own actions and body, but not her mind attached to principles of being consistent in love. LOVE is the missing part of her vocabulary. Love is tough and so you are too! You have it, not her. You will heal. She will not.
4. Have your friend available when panic and anxiety breaks up.
5. Be here now. Name God in whatever form you like the most thousands of times.
6. Say "Thank You" for this bitter experience. It's a lesson and a blessing in disguise.
7. Why should you expose yourself to someone who is not worthy of you?
8. Be compassionate.
9. Forgive yourself for any failures. In reality, my love had rage attacks. From slapping into my face, to threatening to throw show in my head. Wow... Thanks heaven it was not a gun!
10.They are sick. You can't help. You are the winner even when the tell you that you have lost them. OH, and be reassured that when their new fire turn into ashes, they will call and may want you to return. Chances are that things will not be the same unless you are spiritually strong enough to forgive, and erase the torture from your mind faster than a pencil's eraser. And don't fuss about the insults, aggravations, and violence. There is something called Karma. It will hit them back where it hurts the most. No need to be witchy. You will feel compassion to know as to what happens to these offenders in the long run.
11. No need to think as to when they will call. Live in the NOW and leave it to life to take care of her.
12. When TRUST & RESPECT are gone, Adam and Eve are officially Divorced. Think... There are many apples in the orchard and flavors as well. One is waiting for you to show up. Laugh, laugh at her stupidity, immaturity, insecurity and childishness... Laugh at it and MOVE ON. You were not born with her and will not want her to lead you into a grave when she departs. And know that she will enjoy your suffering. Are you going to be stupid enough to allow yourself a punishment in the distance. MMMMM I Hope Not! Hang the phone and erase her voice from your mind. Hasta la vista, Baby!

Going through a unique situation this round. Always bounced back in the past. Being with a GF who has depression, anxiety meds and a love for wine has been a different experience. She ended it, although sounding like she didn't want to. Problem was, she led the conversation with "I am moving out Friday" (was a Wed eve conversation). I gave her 2 days of trying to show positive intention for our family, but when I bring up alcohol, talk is over. I'm just attacking. Anyway, I cut off all contact and it has really pissed her off. I am getting hate messages and love messages daily. Still don't respond unless it had something to do with her picking up her things.

You rock man.
Thank you for taking the time to post your message. It is probably one of the best I have ever read for help. Kudos and God Bless You and you and yours.

Her reasons for dumping in many ways are valid (HER NEEDS ARE NOT FULFILLED AS A CONTRIBUTOR TO HOUSE EXPENSES,SPIRITUALLY ELEVATED BUT DUMB IN HANDLING WORLD AFFAIRS), but my side of the story is not being understood. She burned out and doesn't want to wait for changes and the changes are being done.

All I want to know is if there is another person here who has taken over?

She looks like a prisoner of war, but on the contrary, there is no name, identification, no information. In a very irresponsible way it remains trapped. And trapped is how she feels. So she runs from one trap to another one which may be worse. And she is on Parking, at times on Reverse, few times Neutral, and when emotions explode, then she gets into Drive 1 and 2 with rage becoming stronger and stronger. And when rage shows up, violence erupts. No water can put down her fire in emotions. It's her way or the highway. Be careful... Denial is absolutely leading you no where. Get away from destructive attacks and depression. Smile, laugh, praise, motivate, console, inspire those along the way. You've lived only to worship one woman as a goddess disregarding the beauty you find in other people. Other people exist. Please, don't forget they are in need of something good coming from you. Waiting is like wondering which numbers will come up in dices thrown at the casino table.

Focus, center on yourself. Build strength like athletes who lift weights. Accept the turbulence. Lower down their intensity. Be loving, which she lacks, with yourself. Affirm: "I care about myself!" "I love myself!" "I trust that there is something to be learned out of this!" "I look forward to being loved unconditionally, without brutality and with understanding that we are all here to grow and I am not Perfect, neither you are!"
You are not alone in this nightmare. I LOVE YOU...

SHE wants me out today. I asked her to tell me the truth. If there is another guy. She answered screaming "I am with another man!" Then cancelled the message by saying "if that is what you want to hear and give you peace of mind, get it." We made incredible love 2 nights ago. She sits to watch a movie with me, allows me to hold her, rub her and his her while sitting. No calls registered in my phone today from her. It's painful. Her car has another radio station other than classical music. The mirror in front is higher up. Her mistake is going to the man. And if she gave herself completely, no wonder she said last time while making love that she was not a prostitute. I need to know the truth to go on. I don't want a text message or a cold call to announce it. And if this is the case, then, the relationship is one of lust. No love. All confusion for her and I am impotent to help.

My phone is 612-715-1786 Anyone who wants can call me to deal with this. It's horrendous!

I want you guys to call if you go through this... It's supportive indeed

I have to leave the house this week. Dumped. Without a penny. Into a shelter. She lives in a high class neighborhood. She knows this is evil. It's a crime. She comes with the story that if she makes mistakes, she is responsible for them. Last night before she went to bed she talked about her ex husband, the woman who is with him and his wish to marry her and have a child with her. On and on, but nothing about someone else that may be a Target and in the picture right now. Either something goes wrong there or she is the best strategist as a Spy to infiltrate into the enemy camp with leaving traces of her whereabouts. Oh yes... She is ending her performance like a Good Girl... Umhu!

Her plan is to keep control. She goes to San Francisco with her daughter for a week. She asked me if I had called her yesterday... The "No contact" rule works wonderfully, but WOW, it's tough damn tough. Now it time to play some Psychology Today, yep... As I begin to exorcise her presence from my head, I've got a plan...

Let's play some Reverse psychology. Before she goes to the airport and I turn my keys of the house back I will tell her the following: "SOMETHING HERE IS DEFINITELY WRONG. YOU ARE NOT HAPPY AND I AM NOT HAPPY. YOU WANT SPACE, SO WHILE YOU GO TO NASA AND GET INTO YOUR NEXT SPACE LANDING MISSION, I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU. IT'S NOT A SEPARATION. LET IT BE THE END!"

In this way I gain control and disarm her. I go on my terms and not hers which is to think that if anything goes wrong "he will be there!". Women hate to be alone. This one call our relationship a Cage feeling like a bird trapped. And the fact is that from a Cage she will go to a Spiderweb. I am a bird breeder. And while breeding Gouldian Finches, Lovebirds and Cockatoos I noticed that in a so called cage a bird is watched, taken care of, given food, pampering and attention. In a Spiderweb trap, a predator awaits for a "quick fix", a short term McD meal and for the next entity who will fall into the trap to be devoured and excreted.

The problem here may be that attention and affection has converted from a one ounce chocolate to 100 pounds one. Backing up, disappearing, coming back to myself, reflecting about all this will do me good.

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Little by little I have gotten tire of her lies. Last night she spent all the time talking about her ex-husband and girlfriend. They now live together. So WHAT? And then asked me if the relationship with her was going to last? "LET'S NOT GO THERE!" It has become like a Mantra to me to detour stupid conversations with someone who is really sick in the Spirit. Her mind is sharp to do evil. I got 3 days to get out of the house. I leave in order. No outside contacts with women. The house is clean. I have shared the little I received in money for food, even though I don't contribute anything according to her. See how sickening it is... One day I did her bed, laundry, vacuumed the house, fixed the loan in front and the back of the house, left breakfast for her son and coffee ready at the table and when i came back guess what she said: "You haven't done anything!" On Monday I spent the day fixing a problem for her in the government and then she texted: "thanks for saving my life!" Pure Bullshit. And then with the comment that she had no time for that. I kept silent. Since I need to cover myself at night and know than n a few days the Shelter and the Winter awaits, why bother to answer and tell this Bitch that "to go out on my back and meet a man; to leave her son stranded looking for a ride on a Sunday, for that surely there is time". I am beginning to Hate this woman and that surely will allow me to step out and Close the Chapter. Laugh at this... She expects me to sweep the snow, contribute with money from the outside, and even offers to visit me if I have a stdio apt.and cook for her....hahahahaha but didn't mention the most important thing... And "after the meal, the "BANG". Without the Bang, there is no meal. God, "what a SOB you sent into this world!"

where do i begin my last twelve years i have loved this woman even
though she has walked away from me three times she has always come back and yet in a way i see its i who let her back into my life but i ask myself what can i do how do i stop loving someone that id give my life to be with her all my money every thing i had my own shooes were and are falling off my feet because i stopped caring about myself my girlfriend walked out on me two years ago in that time she met a groomer of children and woman and he raped my girlfriend the woman that id give up all the days i have left to live i have sat with my girlfriend who says that im the only man she can trust for the last twelve months ive had to sit and listen to what he done to her and what he had planed to do to her when he got back out of prison that will not happen thank god because he got ten years and was told he will not walk free after his time is up we have been sleeping together for the last twelve months it was some thing that we both wanted to do because i did ask her if it was ok and if she was alright in me touching her and her touching me all this was fine and once more she told me she was starting to love me once more again for no other man or ex would have done half the things i done to make sure she was safe we slept in bed together right up till four weeks now and she told my neice that she dont care about me or love me any more for some reason beyound my understanding its now all over and she wants to be alone and not in a relationship with any man i dont think i can hold on because this pain hurts more than any thing has hurt in my life the last of my dads brothers has just passed away this week i feel the world has fallen on top of me and i cant get out from under it will she love me again do i hold on to see i dont think i can face another few years not knowing where i may or may not stand please can you help me before i loss my soul to this and the will to live on any more thank you so much your friend always chaz

where do i begin my last twelve years i have loved this woman even
though she has walked away from me three times she has always come back and yet in a way i see its i who let her back into my life but i ask myself what can i do how do i stop loving someone that id give my life to be with her all my money every thing i had my own shooes were and are falling off my feet because i stopped caring about myself my girlfriend walked out on me two years ago in that time she met a groomer of children and woman and he raped my girlfriend the woman that id give up all the days i have left to live i have sat with my girlfriend who says that im the only man she can trust for the last twelve months ive had to sit and listen to what he done to her and what he had planed to do to her when he got back out of prison that will not happen thank god because he got ten years and was told he will not walk free after his time is up we have been sleeping together for the last twelve months it was some thing that we both wanted to do because i did ask her if it was ok and if she was alright in me touching her and her touching me all this was fine and once more she told me she was starting to love me once more again for no other man or ex would have done half the things i done to make sure she was safe we slept in bed together right up till four weeks now and she told my neice that she dont care about me or love me any more for some reason beyound my understanding its now all over and she wants to be alone and not in a relationship with any man i dont think i can hold on because this pain hurts more than any thing has hurt in my life the last of my dads brothers has just passed away this week i feel the world has fallen on top of me and i cant get out from under it will she love me again do i hold on to see i dont think i can face another few years not knowing where i may or may not stand please can you help me before i loss my soul to this and the will to live on any more thank you so much your friend always chaz

today im going to see if i can get help i dont want to feel like this i want the old me back not some one whos heart and soul are crushed beyound repair i can not live with out hope some how i will have to find a way of loving myself all over again and if i have to walk away then some howi have to free my mind of the fear of being alone and not being able to cope with thathas and is causing me a great deal of stress and worry at times i feel im become obsessed i have to get help before i fall apart compleatly

I am taking some time out and I must begin like a brother "I love you man!" We all need the love, even from strangers, from people we have not seen, for the spirit has no boundaries. In all this ordeal which intercept at points with your experience, I have had to grow internally. I rejected myself. This narcissistic behavior respects nothing. Finds always excuses to justify the pain they inflict. I had to tell my woman once that all her conversations were around her. I decided to call her "ME-ME!" There is always a target when this interruptions begin. Someone... The "I need to be by myself..." "I don't love you!" "I am not committed to you!" "You are not divorced; you're house is not sold.." I could go on and on and I wondered: Am I going to be loved when I am divorced? When I get money proceeds from the house? I don't think this is the way things work out. What is the next demand in the list? Well, it will be to simply keep supplying until I catch another fish in her hands. Behind all this there is a lot of selfishness, greed, incapacity to love, and all I can say is that you must come into yourself. Recently, I started studying the Kabbalah and the 72 names for God by Yeduda Berg. You can get his book called The Monster is Real. The greatest difficulty in all this is beginning to walk toward oneself. We don't need validation from a woman. We need to validate our self. I regret in all of this that I have forgotten about my wife which I was married to for 27 years. My son. My parents. She became an obsession and compulsive is not enough to define this turmoil. One listens, tolerates humiliation, violence, indiscretions, lies, cheating and I often wondered, Why? I am a nobody to tell you on how to handle this, but surely, I would like you to work with your breathing and see if you can find a copy of Pema Chodron, which is on CD or a book called "When things fall appart!" The questions are many and kindly among them we ask: "Will this woman lead me to my own destruction?" "Is she worth tolerating all this pain?" Turn to God, call him whatever... Be kind to yourself. You are not the problem. Like you wrote... the woman was raped. Feel compassion for her. God know how much spaghetti and meat balls she's got in her head and is so afraid to talk, that it leads her to evade truth. And to grant herself the opportunity to deal with her pain, frustration, and insecurity. Do me a favor... Be loving to yourself. Fall in love with yourself, not the beast. '
Rich Sunshine 612-840-9225 My phone in case you get desperate. I have been there. Believe me. I know!

I will attend calls and help. Please, read Sam Vaskin book on Malignant Love. You will be shocked. Get Pema chodron's book When things fall appart. Read Paramansa Yogananda Where there is light.
get to Harold Klemp Our wake up calls. There is work ahead freinds.

I come here because someone reads and needs to know something happening to a person who is going through this ordeal...

She left home for two hours which became four. Left her son with me who got very upset that she came back so late. Then when she arrived, the kid exploded. I told her that she could have called him to let him know she was going to come back home later. In the meantime I cleaned the house, bought flowers and when she came she looked at them with great dissatisfaction. I got so upset and told her that it's not sharing the house or cooking a meal and leaving it over the counter without serving it as a token of appreciation. She exploded. I had to spend two hours washing and drying her bed sheets that were urinated by the cat. And then I exploded and told her she was a "selfish bitch!" Yes... Never had so much fun telling her what I felt inside. She asked me to leave the house, yet the day before told me to stay because she did not want to confuse her son. I suggested her to go to sleep with the Devil. And that I felt as well as her with her wish. But it's cold. I have no money. And the shelter awaits. Fascinating, isn't it? Pure Drama without Shakespeare! Soap Opera... I agree!

I think my partner has dumped me. Prior to breaking off contact, I'd call her and she'd argue with me at the drop of a hat. If she asked my opinion or suggestion about something and I offered it, she'd grow incensed, shout, and abruptly end the call. We rarely saw each other anyway, maybe twice a month, and when I tried to set up a date, she'd come up with excuses like "I'm very busy." Hate to admit this, but a month ago, she confessed to lying about how she felt about me and told me to "get over it, that's life!" But it's still hard for me. I think the most important thing for people to do in the beginning is to put all their cards on the table and take it slow because people are going to put on their best impression in the beginning of any relationship; knowing a person takes time.

Thanks once again the great Dr Oluwakemi I am Sandra james I want to share my testimony to every one here about what this great man did for me I was married for more than six years now know child with this, my heart has been trouble so I don’t know what to do. And I have gone from one place to another still I did not found the solution of my problem on till one day in my office when a friend of mine came for a visit so I have been hiding this for every body not to share this problem to any one so when I see the situation on ground now my husband is about getting another woman, I try my best to share this with a friend so she advise me to contact this great man for a spell cast so I was not my self of telling her my problem so I ask her what we it take me? She said it we not take much time just three days it we be done then I look up and down were we I start from now? She insist for me to try him the I ask her for his contact she gave me his number and his email address his number +2348103508204 and here is the Email: oluwakemiprosperityspell@live.com so I called him first before I email him to know if his the write person so he cast the spell and am so happy with my husband with two kids with this, the man is great and his spell casting is real thanks to my friend may God almighty bless you all from Sandra james.

I think I am ready to move on, but I just want to share it here. I am a South-East Asian. I have a long distance relationship with a guy from US.

He has been missing in action for over 16 days now. His family is worried and even had to ask me whether I've heard of him. This isn't the first time. There was over 2 weeks period around August-October when we (including his family) had no contact with him. And the reason we are even worried is because the last time we heard from him, he's in financial difficulty.

I and my boyfriend met through online means. We both were over 21 years old. He was the one who approached me, and he visited me in my country after 1 year of relationship. Things went great, we talked about possibility of marriage. He said he is happy with our relationship, that it was a "total acceptance" between each other.

But in the one last year, I could feel he started being distant. He stopped initiating "a quality time", he always sounded distracted like his mind is elsewhere. I was wondering if he falls out of love, but he always convinced me that it wasn't and he still loves me. But this cycle continues. He didn't reply any message, forgot about online date he set himself, but didn't apologize right away, or even try to brush it off. I always felt upset because it's like he didn't recognize my emotions.

But I think I shouldn't wait anymore, be it on the name of loyalty or whatsoever. He's an adult, and I can't be responsible of him, not to mention the distance and circumstance. I admit it still feels a bit surreal to think someone who used to be so close with me suddenly become one of missing persons. I always thought it's just "another thing" that occurs to someone else. I just hope he contacts his family soon at least.

I am still wondering if there's any way to find out his whereabouts or anything. I know some of his flat mates but all of them has moved out now. He's in Dorchester, MA. Is there anyone who can give me some ideas?

For the past 2 months now I have been looking for good and genius spell to bring back my husband and also help me to win lottery. and it has been a hard time for me finding the right place until I get in contact with Dr Momodu who gave me powerful spell and assured me that it will take 2 to 3 days before the spell will be effective, truly 3 days later, my husband rang me, i answered the call, he started apologizing, we are together Now. Thank you for making my husband to know that we are met to be together and also making my dreams come true. And he did a spell that make me to win lottery. Please if any body needs LOVE SPELL,LOTTERY,PREGNANCY SPELL, DIVORCE SPELL, GET YOUR PARTNER. BACK AND MANY MORE YOU MAKE NEED. Email him now for your own help. drmomoduspelltemple@yahoo.com OR drmomoduspelltemple@hotmail.com DR. Momodu for the excessive work that he has done for me. his Via web sit: http://drmomoduspelltempl.wix.com/http

For the past 2 months now I have been looking for good and genius spell to bring back my husband and also help me to win lottery. and it has been a hard time for me finding the right place until I get in contact with Dr Momodu who gave me powerful spell and assured me that it will take 2 to 3 days before the spell will be effective, truly 3 days later, my husband rang me, i answered the call, he started apologizing, we are together Now. Thank you for making my husband to know that we are met to be together and also making my dreams come true. And he did a spell that make me to win lottery. Please if any body needs LOVE SPELL,LOTTERY,PREGNANCY SPELL, DIVORCE SPELL, GET YOUR PARTNER. BACK AND MANY MORE YOU MAKE NEED. Email him now for your own help. drmomoduspelltemple@yahoo.com OR drmomoduspelltemple@hotmail.com DR. Momodu for the excessive work that he has done for me. his Via web sit: http://drmomoduspelltempl.wix.com/http

I too got dumped twice.it breaks you to the extent of being suicidal.But somehow god helped me.
I am too emotional and shy,was aware that men always want sex.But the first guy emotionally manipulated and used me(my first encounter with sex was with this bad guy).I felt bad,was sad always but couldn't share this with anyone but one day told everything to my best friend.My best friend saved me from him and I was normal.later me and my best friend fell for each other.we were connected emotionally but not physically.That made him crazy,to him sex was of major priority (which is true for men). Eventually he left the country for further studies .It's been a year now ,my mind still hovers over him.But he easily moved on and slept with 2 and is finally dating someone seriously (we are still in touch,he told me about his gf on phone)it broke me literally.
Sometimes I feel like ending it all,even the friendship.But I love him and not talking to him at all would kill me.
After twice heartbreaks I don't have the strength to fall for any guy.
I am not looking for anyone ,just being myself and enjoying single life.But my best friend is still there on my mind.He is very good at heart but somehow just not aware about his emotions and may be i dont fit into his category.

Hello viewers on here i want to thank Dr JATTO for his miraculous works on my life i lost my beloved wife to another man, it all happened 3years ago when i traveled to out of my country for a trip to work. i spent 5month and when i came back home i found out that my wife has changed completely towards wasn't the same wife i married and i every time i tried to make love to her. she always hesitated like she is tired and need to have some rest. i was down-folded after trying all i could to get her back but she never paid any attention.it was so frustrating for me as a man to see my wife going out all the time staying out late with another man. i had to look for help on the internet and suddenly i came across Dr JATTO testimony of how he has restored broken homes together again. i believed and hoped all was going to be fine after contacting him and he assured me that all was going to be fine so he told me he will cast a spell for me that will bring back my wife to me and never to see another man again and he did and in 48hours my wife came back and she was begging me that she is very sorry for all she has cost me.our love become so strong that we made love and she got pregnant. today i am so happy. contact Dr JATTO on his Email:drjattolovespellteple@gmail.com or drjattolovespelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or call him through his mobile number: +2347050270268 or contact him directly through his website:http://drjattolovespellte.wixsite.com/....