Anxiety+Paranoia= Living Hell

The professionals want to label paranoia as a personality disorder. My paranoia stems from anxiety and racing thoughts. I don’t think everyone is out to get me. I don’t check behind the shower curtain for knife wielding madmen or peek around corners or look behind myself to see if I am being followed.

But the tiniest things send my anxiety into the stratosphere which leads to paranoia and a sense of all encompassing feelings of terror and doom. It’s gotten so bad, I had to quit watching soap operas 15 years ago because the weekend was anxiety laden waiting for Monday to come so I could find out what happens next. Pathetic, I know. I don’t miss soaps at all, though, so even if it stemmed my own fucked upness, it had an upside.

THEN, as much as I enjoyed watching it, I had to give up watching shows like…

“Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass