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Sunday, August 23, 2015

I've been spending a few days recently trying to get my work life organized.

I work from home. I run three "micro businesses" from the house, and help out with two more. When people ask what it is I "do," I usually tell them-- only half-facetiously-- that "I play with my hobbies for a living." How that came to be is a long story I'll write about some other time. Anyway...

On paper, that probably all sounds rather lovely and bucolic. In practice? Not so much.

Aside from the fact that I am an adult HSP living with ADHD, I tend to not get nearly as much done as I would like to, or as I need to. After all, there are "bills and things" to be taken care of!

Part of the problem (or "challenge") is that I am genuinely interested in a lot of different things, and I have always struggled with prioritizing appropriately. It's not so much because I am "scatterbrained" as it is because I see the potential of many different things, and what they could become... if developed properly. And even though I am often able to develop these things, the ongoing grind of running and tending to them soon wears me down.

Some people struggle to get "from idea to reality," but that's not me. I struggle more with "ongoing" reality. I've always attributed this to a self-perception that I am inherently lazy. I have never been a very "active" person, nor what I (or other people) would consider a "hard worker." And I have certainly never felt "driven."

As such, one of my greaest problems with being self-employed (as well as one of the "answers" to my laziness life dilemma?) is that I lack ambition. I have previously written about the issue of ambition and achievement as an HSP... and it's a topic I continue to struggle with in a world that often feels like it operates on a "work hard, or perish" value set.

What I mean by that is that I will do exactly "enough" to get by and no more. I am not lazy in the sense that I will not do my very best work, because I believe that's just "right action." I am also not lazy in the sense that I believe I should be "served" or that I deserve "money for nothing," nor that the world "owes me" anything.

However, I have no inherent ambition to "strive" and "be greater," beyond my basic ambition to just "be enough." And it's a very old feeling, for me. I remember being at University and thinking about what I was going to do and be, after graduation. At 20-something, everyone around me seemed like they wanted to "take over the world" and become the next industrial magnate, or whatever.

I looked ahead and I just wanted to be able to afford a house, a car and food-- without having to work too damn hard for it.

In years gone by, my perceived "laziness dilemma" always seemed to get in my way when I worked "real" jobs. I was never "driven," so I struggled to do well in work situations that required me be to be highly competitive. I even lost jobs because I was not interested in the work load that came with a promotion to a higher level of responsibility. I expect that may be part of my HSP nature.

Bottom line, though, was that someone whose essential sense of self was around simply "being satisfied" did not seem to fit into a world eternally focused "more, bigger, taller, richer."

Upon reflection, I have come to realize that one of the potential downsides to living by a paradigm of "doing enough" is that I often have ideas for things that "might work out well," but I lack the inspiration and ambition to put them into action, especially when things are "going OK." If the bills have been paid, I feel no particular desire to "get moving," however good an idea might be.

Yet, many of these ideas are definitely things I want to "do later." But by the time "later" rolls around, I often discover that someone else (aka "someone more ambitious") has already taken my idea and run with it, so I can't even USE the opportunity any more.

I don't say this to have some sort of personal pity party, but to point out one of the downsides... namely the frequency with which what seemed like a potential to get "enough" gets transmuted into "nothing at all."

Anyway, this post is a bit of a precursor to more writing on the ongoing topic of HSPs, work and ambition... and how to carve out our niches in life, without getting overwhelmed and stressed out in the process.

There is also a new book that has just been released, about HSPs and careers-- more about that in an upcoming post!

What do YOU think? Does it come naturally to you to "strive" for greatness? Or are you more of an "enough to get by" sort of person? Is work a challenge for you? Do share and leave a comment!

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Welcome to HSP Notes!

I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I have always known this, but I discovered there was a "name" for it in 1997, and have spent the ensuing years learning all I can about the innate aspects of the trait, about myself, and what it means in my life. Although relatively few people are aware of it, as many as 15%-20% of the population are HSPs. Unfortunately, "being sensitive" carries some incorrect negative connotations and cultural biases that often lead sensitive people to "misdiagnose" themselves, or hide their true nature.

This site is much more than just "a blog;" since 2002 it has offered a conglomeration of articles, personal stories, HSP community news, as well as an HSP Bookstore, information resources for HSPs, whether you've just discovered that "Hey! This is ME!" or have been exploring the meaning of "being sensitive" for a long time. Welcome, and thank you for your interest!

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Published since 2002, "HSP Notes" is one of the oldest HSP-specific blogs on the Internet. The archive of older posts covers an extensive range of topics and issues I have come across, in the course of learning about what it means to be an HSP.

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HSPs & Work

Learning About the HSP Trait

Having had the privilege of meeting 100s of fellow HSPs in person, and 1000s in cyberspace, I have learned that the single most important difference between those who feel like they are suffering with their sensitivity, and those who are thriving, is information and knowledge. The more you know and understand, the more you can work with your sensitivity as a gift, rather than experiencing it as a burden.

The links in the first section below are to some of the most significant informational HSP sites on the web. The second set of links are to therapists and life coaches who have a thorough understanding of the trait-- most of them I know personally, and they generally accept phone/email/online chat sessions. The third links section includes web sites I believe to be "of general interest" to HSPs, based on the common interests highly sensitive people have shared with me, over the years.

HSP Bookstore: Recommended HSP Reading

The Importance of Connecting

Another extremely important way for an HSP to find inner peace is "connection." This may sound counterintuitive to those who are introverts, reclusive and feel easily overstimulated by people. However, nobody understands what it is like to be a highly sensitive person like another highly sensitive person. Hence it is very important for HSPs to connect with fellow HSPs.

The links in this section are to sites that offer various ways for HSPs to connect with each other, from web-based discussion groups and forums, to HSP workshops, gatherings and retreats.