Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Anthropologists Make Seminal Discovery

Discovered by E C Koch

ITITY Future Events Reporter

New New Amsterdam

Representatives from the New New Amsterdam University College of Ethnography announced recently the confirmation of the discovery of a previously unknown and wholly unique culture, which is expected to answer some of the more puzzling anthropological questions of the last thousand years.

Though the entire cultural tableau has yet to be completed, scientists have already begun reconstructing the panoply of deities so commonly worshiped by these primitive peoples. So far these include a large ax wielding outdoorsman, a rustic horse riding independent, and, oddly, several types of rectangular shaped paper which may also have been used to barter.

What still remains unclear at this time is the cause of the empire’s downfall. Though there has been some speculation, no single theory has risen to assume the place of popular belief among scientists.

However, a few tantalizing clues have been uncovered in the form of artifacts contemporaneous with the time at which the empire seemingly imploded. Among these was a plastic box with the words “Jersey Shore Season 1” printed on it and the document “Going Rogue” which some hypothesize was used as a religious text.