Comments on: Dr. Isabelle Fox on Overnight Visitations: As Harmful as We Suspect?http://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204
Connecting with our children for a more compassionate world.Thu, 24 Nov 2016 17:49:13 +0000hourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.6.1By: Divorced Dadhttp://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204&cpage=3#comment-3570939
Mon, 14 Nov 2016 03:59:07 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3570939My Daughter is 4 and she is very proud of herself that she is able to sleep in her own bed at My house. She also wants to spend more time with her Dad.

Her AP Mom still co-sleeps with her.

I am and have always been an involved Father, and I read stories with my daughter until she goes to sleep. Then I go to my sleeping place. My daughter is not disrupted if I get up in the middle of the night, or get up early to make breakfast for her.

No Dr. Fox. You are mistaken. Kids need do learn to deal with their fears at ages 3 and 4. If handled with care they can thrive in a divorce situation.

]]>By: The Attached Familyhttp://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204&cpage=3#comment-3386828
Tue, 15 Mar 2016 16:16:05 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3386828Brittney, while this is a hard, hard time for you, I applaud you for reaching out for support and for making yourself available to your child. Being there for your baby, especially in her anxiety surrounding sleeping at night, is exactly what she needs right now from you. Hopefully you’re able to find answers to your questions, but do know that your love and sensitivity toward your child is helping her incredibly through this hard time. We will be in touch soon privately. ~ API
]]>By: Pathttp://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204&cpage=3#comment-3381282
Wed, 09 Mar 2016 02:54:27 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3381282Scott,
Do you think a father should have unsupervised visitation and eventually overnights if he tried to kill the child’s mother?
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Mon, 07 Mar 2016 06:33:55 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3380000I’m currently going through a custody battle with my ex. Our daughter is 7 months old. Since the pregnancy her father hasn’t had a license due to a DUI. We split during the pregnancy, and when she was born we attempted to work it out and I would stay with him or vice Versa. He would get angry with her in the middle of the night and yell, for waking him up. We continued to have conflict and long story short I left for good. He denied signing the birth certificate and he wasn’t helping finicnially except a couple hundred here and there which wasn’t enough to help with the formula alone. She was with me everyday, every night. I even took her to work. He would see her when his mom was able to meet me due to him having no license and he would have her depending 4-6 hours at a time no overnights. She was too young , and he would yell at her at night. He ended up filing for full custody. And they granted one overnight a week, plus a mid weekday evening visit. I also got a new job for the medical benefits for my children, and more pay to support them as well. Since the overnights she comes home and is fine until bedtime. She wakes up all night long crying. Only wants me to hold her, once she’s asleep and I lay her down she wakes and cries until again I’m holding her. This is then causing her to be tired the next day and the sitter has noticed the pattern. She also isn’t eating well for him, and when she’s with me she eats great. I’m not sure if this is part of her separation anxiety as well. But HELP!!!! No sleep, and an anxious and upset 7 month old, and the courts and my lawyer do NOT CARE!!! I’m trying to push for more frequent visits with no overnights until she’s older and more adjusted. What can I do in court to find common ground and understanding? Taking her to the doctor? Seeing a therapist? Sleeping professional? Help!
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Wed, 10 Feb 2016 00:09:21 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3360565As an attorney who has handled divorces, custody disputes, and every other small town dilemma faced by my fellow citizens…I have read through the above and many of the comments with some interest and great sorrow. Part of that sorrow is due to how many people seem not to be unaware that they live in the most narcissistic culture of all times. And the Grand Irony of our narcissistic society? We consistently fail to look in the mirror.
A few thinking points on the above topic…
1. Most Americans (from all economic classes) are too immature to breed, but do so anyway.
2. The courts have been starved of resources for thirty years – thank you concepts such as privatization, trickle-down, and the dominance of voodoo behavioristic “social science”.
3. Study after study after study, from neurology, from ethology, from anthropology, from psychology, and all combined, confirm that to raise a physically and morally healthy human we need less conflict, less “competition” based cultural ideals, less ignorance on the part of people who last took a good basic human biology class 20-40 years ago.
4. Stanford offers their entire first year course from Robert Sapolosky for free on line. EVERY Judge in our country should be forced to watch all 25 lectures.
5. Midweek overnights for most children of divorce are an incredibly bad idea for the well being and development of a child. I base this on over thirty years practicing law — why? Because most young Americans are bad at parenting — but father’s especially. And it is the isolated few, economically sound, psychologically grounded and regionally secure, as well as surrounded by allo-parents of all sorts who are also grounded, that can pull off “co-parenting”, The rest are mostly creating more clientele for the drug companies, by expanding the pool of ADHD, ADD, anxiety-prone, and stressed out little humans to need more professional paternalistic services to help them attain some level of functionality.
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Tue, 03 Nov 2015 02:44:30 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3242626Hi Everyone. I am a mother in a current custody battle and I came to this site for support. Here is my suggestion to mothers fighting in court for their children: Go to Google Scholar and find recen articles that speak against overnight visitation for children your child’s age. Use keywords like “divorce no overnight.” Start collecting evidence against the other party that would hurt their case for overnight visitation (e.g., abuse, inexperience, emails, texts, etc.) Try to limit your conversation with them to email and text so you can use it in court. Schedule a few consultations with Attorneys. Many offer free consultations or can discuss ways you can still get legal advice (even if it’s email only advice). Keep your cool. Court’s penalize women for showing emotions and crying or coming off vindictive. It’s a horrible double standard. If you feel in your gut your child is unsafe or is distressed, GET PROOF. Have an unbiased, non family member witness the child exchange to see what you see. They can testify in court. As a matter of fact, try to have many witnesses observe on different occasions and use both men and women witnesses, just in case you have a biased judge. Don’t try to manipulate the witness. Let them draw their own conclusions so that nothing can come back to bite you in court. However, if their conclusions don’t substantiate your own observations, don’t have them testify. Use non friends because they would be considered biased. YOU have to become your child’s legal advocate, especially if you don’t have an attorney. Consider hiring a part time baby sitter or nanny. This person is not family and can get to know your child and testify as to what changes they see. Google. Google. Google. The Internet has a lot of legal information available if you find a credible source. I’m praying for all of you. God bless your children.
]]>By: Melaniehttp://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204&cpage=3#comment-3206092
Thu, 15 Oct 2015 03:22:37 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3206092My daughter is 6, a has been having court odered visitation for over 4 years. She STILL becomes stressed, anxious and cries even when it’s time for dad’s weekend. I’ve repeatedly asked her why, and her reasons vary. The one i hear most is “you’re not there, and my stepbrother has both of his parents there. It’s not fair. I don’t feel as loved there.”
Now, I hear about how stress in young children can affect them throughout their lives, physically and mentally.
I try to be positive, and when i mention these concerns to him, he gets angry and defensive. I finally give up and tell her we have no choice, a judge said she has to do it. After all these years of every other weekend with him, still don’t see any bonding, love or affection between them.
So sad and worried. How can i make it easier for her?
]]>By: Carihttp://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204&cpage=3#comment-3174882
Tue, 29 Sep 2015 01:04:50 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3174882Our 2 yr old granddaughter is in fight for her life. Her father got unsupervised visits. Driving on a revoked license, no current license. Drug and alcohol history, mentally unstable . No stable home, bed ,or clothes. Tells us he didn’t feed her for 8 hrs cause she is not hungry. His current girlfriend just got out of jail on a burglary charge ( 2 of them). Than put her in a car of unlicensed driver and no car seat. And Michigan courts find nothing wrong with this picture!
]]>By: Genohttp://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204&cpage=3#comment-3101642
Thu, 03 Sep 2015 01:45:37 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-3101642I am a single father with a two year old son. We were never married and are not together. His mom demanded I start keeping him over night 2 to 3 nights a week when he was only 2 months old which I thought was crazy. Two weeks later I find out she is dating and needed time. In less than two years she’s been married and divorced and rushing into another relationship with a guy she’s know less that two months moving in to her house. I believe a ever changing home environment can be worse. I noticed his behavior change in each case. Of course she denies it.
]]>By: katehttp://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2204&cpage=3#comment-2971290
Sat, 11 Jul 2015 23:30:47 +0000http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2204#comment-2971290Resources would be greatly appreciated on dealing with cosleeping breastfeeding six month old against overnights. Thanks
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