Sex Court: The Movie

Sex Court: The Movie Review

By Christopher Null

"You put the S in suck!"

"You put the S in spank!"

This exchange -- actually one of endearment, not insult -- is only one of many similar dialogues in Sex Court: The Movie, a campy medium-core romp that is one of the guiltiest and least-credible "pleasures" since Showgirls.

Based on a Playboy Channel TV show, Sex Court stars veteran Julie Strain as Judge Julie, star of her own People's Court/Divorce Court/Judge Judy knockoff, wherein the plaintiffs litigate over woes in the bedroom department. Julie's verdicts invariably involve a sentence of having more sex, usually in groups.

The film takes three of Julie's cases to her gothic estate in L.A. for "out of court" settlements, silly arguments involving a philandering husband, a hypnotist seducer, and even a lesbian with a split personality who keeps seducing strangers. Before long, the judge will ensure everyone goes home happy... and, ahem, spent. (Fair warning: the sex scenes are on the explicit side but not quite X-rated.)

Strain, now 40, is about as perfect as it gets in this role (and indeed she's the only thing worth watching here). Her potty mouth and utter seriousness at delivering lines like the above are simply hilarious; Playboy sends me all these "movies" for review but none of them have ever come off as funny. The movie's got a gag reel over the closing credits, for God's sake! (Strain appears to ad-lib most of her entendre.)

Not that that earns Sex Court a recommendation, but if you rent it and fast-forward to all the Julie Strain scenes (a new ridiculous getup in every one!) you'll find your $3.50 and 15 minutes very well spent.