Depression - a poem 12/20/10

Feeling like I’m drowning, thrashing at the sea; My lips curled down frowning, where is everybody? Wanting to scream and tear out my hair, knowing there isn’t anyone there. How did I ever get in this mess? Did I really want to feel all this stress? Living in a world so filled with duress. Never hearing a voice, as I cry out to confess. Feeling so lost and alone, freezing and shivering in this cold home. Passerby’s never offering to assist, I reach up for a hand, but they’re tempted to resist. Round and round the circle we go, same old stuff just never grows old. Left behind and without a care, just wishing someone could really be there. Parents gone, without leaving a morsel, feeling the rain hit upon my torso. Feeling so mentally exposed, despite always being fully clothed. In my mind lost and confused, childhood suffering, torment and abuse. Trying hard to let the past go, but always going back, the memories overflow. I know exactly what caused all this pain, different parties with something to gain. Wishing and wanting to get beyond, still there something that makes me try to hold on. Like a faster rollercoaster ride.The thrills in the chase as you’re sitting inside. Faster and faster and faster it goes, Whipping ‘round corners past the wind as it blows. Until the ride is over and done That is when you realized it’s no longer fun And reality slowly begins to sink in Leaving you alone and the depression begins.