Sef admits to regrets, but no guilt

Dressed in a green prison tracksuit, and slightly chubbier than before, the 23-year-old asked to speak before the judge considered his sentence yesterday.

"I will be the first to admit that nothing I say will really hold any weight," said the convicted killer. "Although three years seems like a long time, I look back at my life before the murders and before I was arrested and I accept that there's so much I have done that I am not proud of. So much that I wish I could take back. So much that I wish I could do differently but I can't."

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But his barrister soon clarified his client's stance. "You want to tell the court that you maintain your innocence," said Winston Terracini, SC.

The man found guilty of brutally killing his parents, Terry and Mary Loiva, and sister Clodine in their home on July 10, 2001 said despite pressure to show remorse in hope of a more lenient sentence, he could not confess to something he had not done.

"I believe that I was put on trial for being a bad person, not for murder," he said.

But Crown prosecutor Mark Tedeschi, QC, said Gonzales showed a "desperate need to confess" and came close to an admission of guilt when telling a probation officer recently that he had cut the telephone line at the family home and had not seen anyone leaving the house after "discovering" the bodies.

Gonzales denied saying this, telling the court he had explained to the officer he was getting confused and questioned his own recollections after hearing such statements put to him repeatedly. He apologised to "all the people that I've ever hurt [and] I have ever lied to", saying: "If you think I am not feeling any pain, you are wrong. Whatever pain you feel, I'm feeling it much more than you."

Mr Tedeschi asked: "You have said there's so much you feel sorry for, so much you wish you could take back. Does that include killing your sister?"

Gonzales said: "No."

Emotional victim impact statements by Gonzales's mother's sisters and mother were read out at the Supreme Court sentencing hearing yesterday.

"Our cry for justice was answered and given to us wrapped in sorrow and tears," said Gonzales's aunt, Annie Paraan. "I never knew justice can be this cruel."

Her sister, Emily Luna, spoke of nightmares. "I dreamt that Clodine was describing her stab wounds to me and I could feel every wound as she was describing it. I also dreamt that Loiva was chasing me with a knife."

Amelita Claridades, Gonzales's maternal grandmother, said: "To this day, I am struggling to cope with the emotional pain and trauma of what had happened. I miss all of them every day."

Mr Tedeschi asked for three life sentences.

Mr Terracini argued for a maximum sentence of 30 years, saying Gonzales was still young and could be rehabilitated.

A psychiatric report tendered in court found Gonzales had been depressed before the killings but did not diagnose any mental illness.