20081123

Whoever

I still have trouble understanding what happened. Dynamics in romance are very difficult to understand. Everything tends to be clearer when viewed objectively. My emotions snatch me from anything objective. I tire of feelings.

I know there is a better future, one of wholeness, one of unneeded, unconditional support. My order tends to be backwards. I look for the last things first, like framing a house before the foundation has dried. First is independence, complete cohesiveness within myself, and emotional realization of my own successes. The last is you.

I deserve nothing less than my aspiration. I will not settle. I will not beg to settle. I haven’t a need. I embrace my autonomy with gratitude. Goals cannot be grey, ominous burdens; otherwise, I have no chance. Goals should be inspiring.

I have met many goals. I will meet many more. Again, I will not beg to settle. I cannot. There is everything at stake.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” – Gandhi.

I read this quote today. It resonates deeply within. Do not force your change on others, be it yourself. That is all. The desire to change others is the manifestation of something dark. It’s either a need for power or self-denial. As we become emotionally invested in others’ actions, we lose ourselves. We cannot afford this critical mistake. It only tares us down.