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Author
Topic: Anti-Depressant Merry-Go-Round (Read 27159 times)

I'm considering trying (again) to find some regimen of anti-depressant drug(s) that might be able to help me. But I'm somewhat hesitant to go down that road again. I'm hoping some of you fine folks here can provide me with your thoughts and ideas on how I might proceed.

Here's my history. I've been seeing therapists for the past 4 years, and my current therapist for 2 years, trying to identify and work out a whole bunch of issues and problems. I've had some interesting revelations, though it has taken some time to dig them up and sort them out (from family members to ex-partners to sexual hang-ups to job and work issues). I think it's been very beneficial, and I have a much better idea of who I am, and why I make the choices I do. And I've been able to make a few beneficial changes in my life, such as moving back to civilization, and getting out and putting myself in situations where I meet more people. I've also been participating in group therapy for the past year.

But.... I still go through very extended periods of time (weeks) where I feel very down and depressed, which have become more frequent over the years and feel like an underlying theme. Even my friends notice it. Generally it involves feelings of being alone -- even when I'm doing things with friends and family -- and feeling that there's no way to stop the feeling of loneliness. Working with my therapist, this seems like a pattern that goes back to the time when I was in my twenties. He thinks there is quite possibly a physiological component to my depression, and suggests I talk to my physician about whether anti-depressant medications might help.

I have taken anti-depressant medications before, and still take Wellbutrin though it's not really helping so much. Over the past 10 years, I have worked with both my family doctor and HIV doctor to try anti-depressants, but none of them really helped. So In 2007, I decided to seek an expert's help and went to see a psychiatrist. Over the course of a year and a half, we tried *many* combinations of anti-depressant medications, but I didn't think any helped. All of the SSRI meds made me nervous and jittery, unable to sleep, and unable to have sex (which I already have enough issues with). I also tried a couple of tricyclic anti-depressants but they made me so slow and lethargic and foggy that I could barely function. So I ended up walking away from all the meds, except Wellbutrin.

The thought of going back to a psychiatrist and getting back on the anti-depressant "merry-go-round" does not sound appealing to me, based on my previous experience. But I recognize that I have to try to do something to change my current state. I've read a plethora of self-help books over the years. Ultimately, the message I get from those is that it is my responsibility to choose to be happy. I'm very good at taking responsibility, and believe I've really tried focusing on making a state of happiness in my life. But it's still so hard to shake this down feeling that dogs me so often and for so long.

Is there any likelihood that I'll have some good outcome if I work with an expert on anti-depressant medication? Or does my depression seem more situational rather phyisiological (yes, I know that's a difficult questions difficult or impossible to answer)? Can you think of some alternatives? More and more, I just feel like a big whiner, because I have so much going for me in my life. And I hate being a whiner. But it doesn't seem to me that my life should have to involve having an underlying theme of sadness and depression, and I feel like I'm exhausting all of my mental and emotional resources trying to cope with it.

I realize this is a very long post, so if you've read this far, I appreciate it and I'd also appreciate any thoughts, advice, or experiences you may be able to share.

Thanks,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

I know the AD depressant merry go around very well.I was almost introduce to a never ending combination of AD, but I refused.All AD cause withdrawall some of them worse than others . Paxil is the worst of them.

There are forums for AD just like this, been the paxil.org forum the best.

Yes, the psychiatrist Dr's switch you back and forth from AD as if they were aspirin , Tylenol, or Advil, and make the problem worse. Because you have to go trough withdrawall, and getting use to the new side effects of the new one. So you should stick to AD that belong to the same class.

Same class meaning, that affect the same neurotransmitters.For example, you are on Wellbutrin I hope its the XL version, extended release, because other wise you would need 2 pills a day making the second pill at noon, and giving you insomnia.

Wellbutrin is a cousin of Mirtazapine, or Remeron, (because) this ADs work with the Norepinephrine or noradrenaline , and wellbutrrin also with dopamine, hence its used to stop smoking.

Since they work more or less with the same neurotransmitters , you could easily switch from one to the other.

One big note, Wellbutrin is famous for making you nervous, giving you insomnia, and making you anorexic, ( no hunger, and nausea )Remeron on the other hand is the opposite, it makes you eat like a horse, and makes yo sleep well.These two ADs are the only ones that have the less sexual side effectsof all ADs , Wellbutrin even making you a sex machine and increasing your libido, and hard on strenghts.

The perfect combination for me, is 1/4 of a 30 mg generic Mirtazapine, (Remeron) before going to bed, with 2 mg of clonazepan and one pill 150 mg of generic wellbutin xl as soon as you wake up, to me 7 a.m. , generic wlellbutrin is called bupropion by the way.

This way you have the best of the two AD, the relaxation of the Mirtazapine, and hungriness, and the lift up that wellbutin produces. If 150 mg is not working for you, maybe you should consider adding half more pill , always the XL version. Wellbutrin does work !

All of this ideas need to be consulted with your DR, and have more input from the web page I suggested.

If you are or were with other Ads different form the ones mentioned here, its a different story, you need to wean very slowly out of then, by 10 % each month. This is the best way to avoid withdrawal which makes you go into a mess that you call merry go around.

If you want more information fell free to send me a private message.Good luck.

I think its great you have come to know the value in talking about your issues or things that bother you with a qualified doctor , many times people expect to be given a pill and everything will be OK but that's not always the way it works , especially if depression is situational .

I have been through almost every antidepressant there is out there and for me there are only a few that work and that I can tolerate the side effects . The drugs that worked for me are Trazodone and one I just started Mirtazapine , both of these drugs have the added benefit of helping me sleep . I have never had any withdrawal symptoms if I chose not to take them and that's a big plus .

Well, work with a psychiatrist and tell him her you do NOT want to be on a merry go round and give the doc all your history with all the drugs you have tried. Maybe finally there is NOT an anti-depressant that is going to feel right for you, and you'll have to do it with diet and exercise, self knowledge and wisdom. I dunno.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

\I have been through almost every antidepressant there is out there and for me there are only a few that work and that I can tolerate the side effects . The drugs that worked for me are Trazodone and one I just started Mirtazapine , both of these drugs have the added benefit of helping me sleep . I have never had any withdrawal symptoms if I chose not to take them and that's a big plus .

mirtazapine (remeron) may cause withdrawal symptoms. I have experienced them withdrawing from 15 mg.

mirtazapine (remeron) may cause withdrawal symptoms. I have experienced them withdrawing from 15 mg.

Thanks for pointing that out ... I made that statement about a drug I just began to take so my knowledge is slim on this particular medication . I should have thought about that before before I posted . Im only taking it as needed for sleep at 7.5 dose .

I can't recommend any particular AD. I've been on Effexor for the last 5 years and they weren't doing me much good. I still found myself with terrible bouts of depression. I had just sort of given in to the idea that depression would be with me for the rest of my life. But last fall I switched meds (from Reyetaz, Norvir and Truvada to Prezista, Norvir and Trizivir.) My previous regime was extremely effective; I became Undetectable within months with a healthy slew of tcells. But I was becoming more and more depressed and confused and uncertain. I couldn't live with the depression and the confusion and brain fog was becoming too much. Also I started getting incredible, ALPHA-DOG headaches. I told my Dr I couldn't keep going like this,. My Dr. did her homework and came up with our new regime. It's only been 5 months so I haven't experienced or noticed any cognitive improvement but to my surprise the depression has fallen way, way off and so have the headaches.

So you might want to think about your current HAART. Maybe it's contributing to your depression. And don't forget the Gathering in Seattle this August. That will help for sure......robert

My thanks to everyone who responded. I appreciate your advice and experience. I still haven't made up my mind on how to proceed. What I am going to do next is talk to my new physician, who will handle both my primary care and HIV treatment, and get his perspective on pursuing different AD meds. If I do choose to explore AD meds again, I'd pursue it through a specialist (psychiatrist). Meanwhile, I intend to continue therapy and working on myself and my issues.

@roy100: I haven't experienced the side-effects from Wellbutrin that you documented (nervousness, insomnia, or heightened sexual interest). The last one would be kinda nice, though. The merry-go-round I refer to is my past history of trying different AD meds, and not seeing any results. I definitely understand that one needs to be careful on how they start and stop AD meds.

@jg1962: I agree that meds alone are not a good solution. I just wish I knew if there was truly a physiological component to my depression. But, alas, there is no blood test.

@Robert: Several years ago, I switched my HIV meds because they were contributing to my depression and excessive mood swings. And horribly intense dreams. I noticed an improvement once I stopped taking Sustiva. And I am planning on attending AMG in Seattle this August -- the last AMG I attended was in San Francisco in 2007. Good times.

Thanks,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

But.... I still go through very extended periods of time (weeks) where I feel very down and depressed, which have become more frequent over the years and feel like an underlying theme. Even my friends notice it. Generally it involves feelings of being alone -- even when I'm doing things with friends and family -- and feeling that there's no way to stop the feeling of loneliness.

Henry ,I can totally relate to this statement. I tried various antidepressants with little success, then I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed as bi-polar, started taking medication and things improved. I still get depressed of course, but I don't have those long downward spirals. As a testament to how well they work, for some reason I stopped taking it last spring for about 3 months. I ended up at rock bottom in all aspects of my life and came extremely close to losing my job. Started back things improved.

I wish you luck and keep trying!Woods

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"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it." Nelson Mandela

Wellbutrin SR 200mg 2x daily is what I take (sounds like a lot but remember it's the sustained release) one in the AM and one about 4-5 hours later. Wellbutrin has always been the one I had the most success with. But it's starting to not work as well now after a few years...

I finally saw my new psychiatrist on Thursday. I can't say that I was overly impressed with him. He did listen fairly carefully, and took *tons* of notes. He seemed to think highly of my previous psychiatrist (whom I cannot afford at $250/hour). But I didn't feel like he offered much insight into my situation, except to say to confirm that it seems I am depressed (as opposed to bipolar or anything else). He was quite fascinated by the fact that my mother had schizophrenia. If I had my druthers I'd choose to see another psychiatrist, but after calling around I just cannot find one who is accepting new patients with my insurance. That may change as time goes on, so I'm going to call around to other psychiatrists in about 3-4 months.

In the meantime, I'm going to start mirtazapine (Remeron). That was his suggestion -- I did not prompt or suggest any medications at all. I took my first one last night -- slept like a baby, but I'm a little foggy today. And that's only 1/4 of a 15mg tablet (the doc is ramping me up over the course of a week). Amazing how such a tiny amount of drug can have such a huge effect. I hope I adjust to it, otherwise I'm afraid I may sleep my life away.

Wish me luck...

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Henry, I'm glad you are trying some medications and I want to share with you, my experience, because what I found was a combination of drugs, that address my particular areas of concern. I have always had good experience with Wellbutrin and I take 300mg SR in the morning and another 100mg with my evening meds. I also take 40mg of Citalopram in the morning, along with 20mg SR Methylphenidate (Ridlin), with the option of taking another 10mg of Ridlin later in the day if I need it. OK, so you know the drugs, now you need to understand how they work for me. The Wellbutrin/Citalopram keep me at a steady level, chemical wise, which is what I need to be successful in therapy. However, those drugs also make me feel like I am living in a fog, which is where the Ridlin comes in, as it is not a stimulant per se, as it does not give me more energy, instead it gives me a clear head. It seems to counter the other two meds, without my feeling like I am on speed and it does not effect my sleep. And that would be because I also take 100mg of Trazadone, an hour before bed, to keep me asleep and I get a good 6-7 hours of dead like sleep, which has really helped with my energy issues.

My entire point here is to keep trying to find meds that work for you and if you notice a side effect, then talk with the psychiatrist, because maybe adding a second drug, even temporarily could be a big improvement. There are also options like changing dosage or regular vs. slow release that can really help.

I'd like to thank everyone who has continued to post, and offer their experience and advice. Here's a quick update with me. Remeron is making me extremely sleepy. Extremely. Good thing I take it at bed time. But it still leaves me with a fog all day long, until about bed time -- when I have to take it again. I can't say that it has helped my depression any, if anything, it seems a little worse due to the side-effects. It's these episodes I go through a few times a week where I feel sooooo down and sad and alone and different from everyone else and disconnected, even when I'm with friends and acquaintances.

I'm going to hang in there for another 2 weeks, and see what my psychiatrist says at my follow-up visit. I'm sorta disappointed, but the intellectual side of me knows these things take time to figure out. Until I find some regimen that works, this still feels a lot like a medication merry-go-round. I'm glad I have all of you on the forums to vent with, as well as the guys in my therapy group.

Cheers,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

After having taken Remeron for 5 weeks now, I don't feel like it is helping me at all. So I trotted back to my psychiatrist, and decided that I really don't like him very much. The way he operates his office makes it feel like a "medication mill". I get to see the doc for 15 minutes. He doesn't ask very specific questions. "How are you feeling?" So I told him exactly how I felt: depressed, lonely, desperate at times. He interjects only with "ah ha" "mmmmmm" "yes" "I see". And all the while he is writing furiously in my file (it couldn't possibly be legible). He spent most of the brief time discussing what medication to try next. At one point I asked him if he would be quiet for a few minutes and just listen to the details of how I was describing my depression. But then he went right back to "mmmm hmmm" "ahhhhh" "ok". I wanted to slap him.

I really don't want to see him any more, but I'm so limited with my insurance. I called no less than 10 psychiatrists today, but none of them are accepting new patients.

The next plan is to try to up my dosage of Wellbutrin, and add in Zoloft. He wanted to add in Abilify, but it's not on my insurance formula, so it would have cost about $200 per month. My fucking car payment is less than that.

What makes me feel the worst is that all this has me thinking that there is no one out there who can help me. I wonder how anyone gets access to decent psychiatric care. I feel like I'm on the merry-go-round, and I've been on this ride before, and don't like it one bit.

I'm off to get my new prescription filled, I guess. This all feels pointless.

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

I just wanted to say that you are not alone, although thats hardly consolation or a solution for this crappy problem.

Can you get reimbursed for real counseling somehow?? Maybe a good psychologist or social worker will know enough about the medicine to be able to collaborate with the shrink to get you adjusted with better medicine!

My mom was a psychiatric nurse / social worker and had to learn alot about the meds cause her county had the same set up - 15 min sessions at most with shrinks, and only every so often.

Gee, why would anyone want to become a shrink in the US these days if you can only have rich clients? What a bore.

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

I really do feel for you but there is no clinical evidence that any drug will go any way to deal with long term depression. The only evidence is that drugs can assist in *severe* depression, and then only for a fairly short time span of 12-24 months.It doesn't sound at all like you have clinical depression, let alone bi-polar disorder, where drug therapy would help.That really does mean it comes down to a form of talking therapy.But herein lies the problem - which one/type.

You may find you could respond better to a far more 'goal-orientated' participative therapy such as 'Cognitive Analytic Therapy'. It is time-limited and not just for cost reasons but mainly as an engine for focussed outcomes.

I really do feel for you but there is no clinical evidence that any drug will go any way to deal with long term depression. The only evidence is that drugs can assist in *severe* depression, and then only for a fairly short time span of 12-24 months.It doesn't sound at all like you have clinical depression, let alone bi-polar disorder, where drug therapy would help.

Your response is presumptuous. The point of my post was not to ask for opinions on whether or not I have depression, nor do you have any idea from my posts in this thread just how severe my depression is or is not. Your conclusion is based solely from the posts I have made here, which is hardly a complete picture.

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That really does mean it comes down to a form of talking therapy.But herein lies the problem - which one/type.

You may find you could respond better to a far more 'goal-orientated' participative therapy such as 'Cognitive Analytic Therapy'. It is time-limited and not just for cost reasons but mainly as an engine for focussed outcomes.

I have been through CBT. I see you've recommended it to others here too. Proponents of it seem to be very zealous in their belief in it.

I'm irritated that you are questioning the severity of my depression, and my choice in seeking treatment with medication. As I've said above, it's not the only thing I'm doing to address my depression.

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Your response is presumptuous. The point of my post was not to ask for opinions on whether or not I have depression, nor do you have any idea from my posts in this thread just how severe my depression is or is not. Your conclusion is based solely from the posts I have made here, which is hardly a complete picture.

I have been through CBT. I see you've recommended it to others here too. Proponents of it seem to be very zealous in their belief in it.

I'm irritated that you are questioning the severity of my depression, and my choice in seeking treatment with medication. As I've said above, it's not the only thing I'm doing to address my depression.

Henry

Oh dear. I'm sorry that it upset you.

My response was based on the words you wrote that you had tried a massive range of anti-depressant drugs, and that they hadn't worked.

You also misread and mis-assumed what I meant by 'severe' depression which was *not* a reflection on you or a 'questioning' of your own judgement about your depression, but you clearly chose to read it that way. A common thing when one is depressed.

I also read from your posts that you didn't feel you were suffering from non-situational, ie non-reactive clinical depression or bipolar disorder. And they are the only conditions for which ongoing long term drug therapy is applicable.

All that you wrote indicated something else.

I didn't 'recommend' CBT at all. From your post I didn't even consider it useful.But you simply didn't even read the links. I actually mentioned COGNITIVE ANALYTICTHERAPY and only as a possibility because your own words did not describe the type of therapy you had been involved in before.Contrary to yourassumption I am not a 'zealot' of *any* type of therapy.Some work for some people and not for others.But I suspect another aspect of depression is when we sometimes only see (eg in this case seeing 'CBT' where it was NOT written) what we want or expect to see - something we don't like and get angry about.

Assumptions go both ways.

And I mentioned, as a possibility, CBT to *one* person on here, whose issue was completely unlike yours - so you didn't even comprehend the context of that either. Another symptom of depression to be aware of.

But you know what they say - if you don't like someone's comments then just pass them by.

You also have *zero* idea or knowledge of my own personal experience with depression, so that retort goes both ways too.

I have experience of the position you find yourself in and other options include being part of a regular social support group with people in a similar situation, that involves partner co-mentoring - and before you assume I am assuming you are not already doing that or something similar, then take or leave those words as you see fit.

But you know what they say - if you don't like someone's comments then just pass them by.

I have to say that I disagree with this. These are discussion forums. So I expect to see differing opinions, and even conflicts (hopefully handled in a civil manner). If I don't like or agree with what someone has to say, I have the option of saying so.

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You also have *zero* idea or knowledge of my own personal experience with depression, so that retort goes both ways too.

This is true, but then again I was not commenting on your personal experience with depression.

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

I have to say that I disagree with this. These are discussion forums. So I expect to see differing opinions, and even conflicts (hopefully handled in a civil manner). If I don't like or agree with what someone has to say, I have the option of saying so.

This is true, but then again I was not commenting on your personal experience with depression.

Well best to read the posts more carefully in future before making mistakes about what someone has typed.

I really do feel for you but there is no clinical evidence that any drug will go any way to deal with long term depression. The only evidence is that drugs can assist in *severe* depression, and then only for a fairly short time span of 12-24 months.It doesn't sound at all like you have clinical depression, let alone bi-polar disorder, where drug therapy would help.That really does mean it comes down to a form of talking therapy.But herein lies the problem - which one/type.

So the drug dispensing psychiatrists are snake oil charlatans? The whole point of millions of people on SSRIs for longer than 2 years -- completely bankrupt? Massive fraud? Bad medicine?

Who died and made you the expert? Are you a shrink? Therapist?

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

So the drug dispensing psychiatrists are snake oil charlatans? The whole point of millions of people on SSRIs for longer than 2 years -- completely bankrupt? Massive fraud? Bad medicine?

Who died and made you the expert? Are you a shrink? Therapist?

good luck trying to create a pointless negative argument. CAT is very good for resolving that, and CBT is too.

But yes, most AD dispensing has nothing to do with genuine treatment. It's easy, profitable and most psychs and medics have manufacturers clocks on their walls, desktop pen sets and a host of freebies.

Thanks for inquiring about how things are going with me. I've been on Zoloft for about 2 weeks now, which is ain addition to my Wellbutrin. To me, the initial effect is very much like a stimulant (which I really don't care for). At least I can manage to sleep, which was a problem when I was taking other SSRIs. The sexual side-effects are pretty severe (no erection, no orgasm, no nuthin') which is frustrating, but since I haven't had sex in years I suppose it doesn't matter much.

As for my mood, the best I can say right now is that my depression hasn't gotten any worse. It's only been 2 weeks, and my shrink says it will take 4-6 weeks to start seeing benefits. So I'm just holding on until then, and hoping. I still don't care much for my psychiatrists' approach, and it would be nice if he at least asked me some questions and made it seem like he was evaluating me. "How are you feeling?" just doesn't seem like a very precise diagnostic tool. Still haven't located another doctor who accepts my insurance, so I feel kinda stuck.

The other thing that's been bothering me is lack of focus / concentration / organization. I'm not sure how or if that fits into depression, but I'll mention it to my shrink the next time I see him. I'm still hanging in there with my individual and group therapy.

Regards,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Hi Henry,I Hope you start to get the sort off benefit you can pin point, though there have been times when things not getting worse have been a mighty bonus.The difficulties with being able to focus I can relate to and I see that is being discussed by others, I admire your determination Henry.mhtv

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"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ." Tony Benn

I thought I might add that if you are on a antidepressant you may might want to ask doc about abilfy which is taken along with AD and magnifies that AD and I have found it to be wonderfully miraculous

Hi Darker,

Thanks for the suggestion of Abilify. A few others have also suggested this medication, but on my insurance plan's formulary the co-pays are prohibitively expensive: $220 per month. That's right, my co-pay would be $220 per month -- that's far more expensive than the co-pay for my HIV meds.

So, for now, I'm sticking with Zolofot / sertraline. Since taking it now for about 3 months, I've definitely noticed that the extreme low periods I was experiencing of sadness, sobbing, etc. have gone away. Whether it's the Zoloft or just a cyclical thing, I do not know. The effect of Zoloft is like a mild stimulant. I still think about the things were making me so extremely depressed (loneliness, feeling different, inadequate). But the experience of my feelings is different, and doesn't generally send me into the deep low troughs of depression I had been having. It's like the Zoloft acts like a mask or a prop, and it seems a bit strange. I also feel a little bit fake -- maybe I'm just not used to feeling this way. I also *hate* the sexual side-effects, and I'm wondering if I will ever have an erection or orgasm again.

What I don't feel, however, is any "up" periods with experiences of happiness, pleasure, interest and engagement. I asked my psych about this, and his recommendations seemed a little odd to me. His first suggest was to add in Adderall, or Provigil. I'm extremely wary of stimulants. His next suggestion was even stranger: thyroid hormone. My thyroid is working just fine, thank you. He also suggested something called an "emsam" patch, which is a transdermal dosing of Selegiline, and MAOI anti-depressant. The patch is prohibitively expensive, just like Abilify.

I'm losing confidence in my psych's expertise, as my intuition is suggesting that he is somewhere between a pill-pusher and a quack. So I'm having to do a lot of my own research. For now, I don't plan on adding in any new medications for at least the next 60 days.

Regards,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

What about some physical exercise to get the endorphins flowing? You doing that?

Yes, I'm getting in my workouts about 3 or 4 times a week. I'm continuing my individual and group therapy too.

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

I am becoming very irritated with the sexual side-effects of zoloft. I can't remember the last time I had an erection, let alone ejaculation. Sorry to be so graphic, but I'm finding it is becoming intolerable.

Has anyone else stopped taking an anti-depressant because of the sexual side-effects? Is this the price I have to pay for getting some relief from my depression? The ironic part is that I haven't had sex in years. But I still have hope -- or I had hope until zoloft.

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

I am becoming very irritated with the sexual side-effects of zoloft. I can't remember the last time I had an erection, let alone ejaculation. Sorry to be so graphic, but I'm finding it is becoming intolerable.

Has anyone else stopped taking an anti-depressant because of the sexual side-effects? Is this the price I have to pay for getting some relief from my depression? The ironic part is that I haven't had sex in years. But I still have hope -- or I had hope until zoloft.

IIRC Zoloft did that to me too and I got off it. And hun, screw the "I haven't had sex in years" stuff in terms of these meds. You should at least be able to whack off in life or it's bound to make one more depressed, not less.

I am becoming very irritated with the sexual side-effects of zoloft. I can't remember the last time I had an erection, let alone ejaculation. Sorry to be so graphic, but I'm finding it is becoming intolerable.

Has anyone else stopped taking an anti-depressant because of the sexual side-effects? Is this the price I have to pay for getting some relief from my depression? The ironic part is that I haven't had sex in years. But I still have hope -- or I had hope until zoloft.

I had the same problem with my antidepressant but I cant remember which one . I had a terrible time tolerating any of them until trazadone and that one kind of enhanced me ability to have sex .

As for your problem ejaculating ...maybe you just need help pushing one out

@Philly: Yes, I am realizing that not having sex contributes to the depression problem. I've had many interesting discussions with my therapist about this, trying to untangle my hang-ups over sex. Sometimes sex is about sex, sometimes it's about something else completely.

@jg1962: I assume you are offering your assistance?

Cheers,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

hi after reading your post i feel exactly the same, the ridiculous A D merry go round is a joke, i have been on every SSTRI there is and they just made me feel like i had taken some very weak speed , not been able to sleep, more anxious with tremors, so my doc put me on mirtazapine started at 15mg which helped me get a great nights sleep altho left me groggy the next day , my dosage hs been upd to 45mg which funnily enuff has reduced the sleepy effects so i am on sleeping pills also and this has been a few months and all they have done is make me gain loads of weight which just knocks my confidence even more altho i have been rather poorly for a while now so suppose at least i dont have wasting problem, they make me feel sleepy and out of it during the day like i smoked some weed whcih again while i have been poorly isnt to bad becoz i have been bed bound anyways but when im better this wont be good effecrts at all and they actually make me feel more bloody depressed than before, its a joke, i have seen a councillor but due to ridiculous waiting lists have to wait 2 months to see an actual psychiatrist for med changes and a proper chat, i would advise finding a decent psychiatrist or even chatting with your GP about posssible med changes but meds arent always the best route to help with depresssion and i think that the more types of A D you have had the more tolerant to the way they work on the receptors is, are you on anti virals becoz i am startiong mine next week due to a year of being realy poorly and have been advised that once the side effects wear off which im hopin will be minimal it may actual increase my mood sumwat and have a positive effect on my physical and mental health, depression is awful , so hard to get out of the deep dark times and see gud times ahead but just hang on in there,hope you get things sorted,funkycj

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Until the rainbow burns the stars out of the skyUntil the ocean covers every mountain highUntil the day that eight times eight times eight is fourUntil the day that it's the day that I'm no more Did you know that true love asks for nothingTheir acceptance is the way we payDid you know that life has given love a guarenteeThat last through foreverAnother day

I thought it was time for a brief update. The first good piece of news is that I have finally found myself a different psychiatrist. He seems to ask relevant questions, more than just "how am I feeling?", but also inquiring about stress, job, finances, family, relationships, sex, etc. And none of the annoying and incessant "mmm hmm" "ahhh" "I see"that I got from my previous psych. Plus, my new psych gave me 30 days worth of free sample meds, and hooked me up with the manufacturers co-pay assistance program. So I am going to stick with him. Oh, and he actually called me back when I left his office a message with some questions, so he gets bonus points for that. It also don't mind that he is hot, burly, bear of a man. *sigh*

Anyway, I am ditching Zoloft, mostly because the sexual side-effects were frustrating and depressing in an of themselves. I've also gained about 25 lbs, despite keeping up with my diet and exercise, which is annoying,to say the least. I wasn't quite prepared to join the "fat boy" club.

My next move is to try Pristiq, which I understand to be a relative of Effexor, but without so many of the annoyiing side-effects, sexual and otherwise. We shall see. Stopping Zoloft has been difficult, as I feel like a sluggish zombie. But I'm ramping up on Pristiq this week -- I waited until *after* a visit with my family to make the transition. Hopefully in a week or so I will at least feel like I have more energy.

Regards,

Henry

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

I thought perhaps you might like to hear what my thoughts are, on the subject of anti depressants. I have been taking one kind or another for the past 30 yrs now. They do work. You must be prepared to live with some level of sadness, as all normal human beings do. It is only normal to feel down, on occasion.

Anti Deppresants will only work well if you stay the course long enough to allow them to work. A Minimum on 3 months to fully feel the effect of an anti depressant is not uncommon. Some may work faster, such as Quetiapine, but are used along side with an anchor medication, such as paroxitine.

Staying steady with your dosage is essential for your medication to work. The effects are not overnight. If after three months you are not satisfyed with the results, I suggest you contact your doctor.

I believe these medications have worked well for me. I suffered with anxiety, nervousness, sleeplessness. Those symtoms have all been addressed quite well with medicatin. I feel calm, relaxed (usually), and I sleep really well. And I like it that I can still cry about the things that matter to me. The medication is not so strong that it is numbing me to my core. Anti depressants do have an important role to play in our lives. Getting the right dosage, and the right medication, is key to your success.

Hi Henry,Good to hear you have found a psych who seems like he is doing his job and actually going to help with your issues and give you the decent meds you deserve to help you achieve feeling somewhat better,Also probably a good call on stopping the mirtazapine, i have had my doseage of it lowered since starting anti virals the other week and have actually started loosing a bit of weight, not sure if this is a side effect of the A.V's though as i have only been on them a couple of weeks but cant wait to get out of the fat boy club, i hate the extra weight these A.D's have given me, it just ads to the feelings of worthlessness and no confidence, i have a psych app in a month and am hoping he will either give me better meds with not so crap side effects that may actually work or maybe go down complimentary therapy route, i wish you all the best and am sure things will start looking up when your new meds start working and you get what you need out of your psych,All the best and hope things start looking up for you soon!funkycj

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Until the rainbow burns the stars out of the skyUntil the ocean covers every mountain highUntil the day that eight times eight times eight is fourUntil the day that it's the day that I'm no more Did you know that true love asks for nothingTheir acceptance is the way we payDid you know that life has given love a guarenteeThat last through foreverAnother day

Hello there. Have you ever been on an anti anxiety pill with the anti depressants? That would take away the jitters. I did anti depressants and couldn't handle any. Then she added a low dose of clonazepam and I have been on clonazepam and celexia for 10 yrs now and never get depressed any more. I can function sexually no problem. Maybe you may ask your doctor about that combo. It has saved my life. I hope you find whaty heals you my friend. Depression is no fun at all. Be well!!

I had gone to a very liberal medication doctor but hes sold his practice and then reopened his office months later out of my reach and I'm not too terribly excited about the doctor that bought the practice. They really don't seem to care when I call. So now I'm curious as to how your journey through all this has gone?

I haven't posted here in quite a while. I think I was starting to get a little paranoid about documenting an entire running history of my dealings with depression, medication and psychiatrists. Here's a brief update.

Medication-wise, over the past few months I've tried Pristiq, Viibryd. Both made me hyper, and nauseous (not a great combination), and didn't really do much for my depression. The latest med I tried is Lamictal, which is somewhat atypical for depression, but then so am I. It's been 5 weeks and I can't tell that it is having any effect at all. I see my psych the week after next, and if I still don't see any effects, I'm going to drop Lamictal too.

To go back to the original subject line I used for this thread, I am really wanting to get off the medication merry-go-round. While I was really hoping to find some relief, after 2 doctors and lots of meds, I haven't found it, and I feel like I need a break. I also feel a little bit like all this was for naught, and that irritates me, and I also feel a bit foolish. But at least I am now hooked up with a psychiatrist I feel more comfortable with.

Regards,

Henry

Edited to add: I am still see my therapist individually, and also attending a therapy group as well.

« Last Edit: October 09, 2011, 07:21:19 AM by Buckmark »

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"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love." - Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

I have taken many different anti-depressants for the past 3 years. Pristiq, effexor, prozac, remeron, lexapro, (that's all I remember)

Some have worked better than others. Lexapro & Remeron were okay. Pristiq, Effexor & Prozac initiated very manic issues with me. Especially Prozac; so I stopped taking it.

Since then my doctor put me on Dexedrine & Klonopin. I suffer from anti-anxiety and "cloudyness" in my brain. Kind of zombish feeling.

The Dexedrine has been somewhat helpful, I probably have had a 20% increase in overall mood and physical strength. Which is not much. Even though those medications are not for depression. Those are the medications that have helped me "Get by at the least".

I completely relate to the antidepressant "merry-go-round" you talk about. I've been diagnosed with depression for 17 years now and have been on so many different medications and combinations of medications it seems ridiculous. One thing for sure, this is beyond the scope of a family doctor or HIV specialist. An experienced psychiatrist is essential. What is working for me well is 300mg/day of Effexor. I'm just hoping it keeps on working. Best wishes for you. Maybe this time the doctor will pick the right med for you the first time.

Your long term sadness makes me think of what I called the "wet sheet" feeling. I had started having it around my early twenties. While not continually affecting me it was always just under the surface. If that had been all I was dealing with I probably wouldn't have given it much thought. But, then I would have my deep depression days...three days to be exact. I could always tell when it was coming on. Then my life was like walking through neck deep molasses. But after the third day I'd wake up and it would be gone completely. Silly me thought it was just regular depression that everyone went through...conveniently forgetting about the "wet sheet."

What finally got me looking into this was finding out my mother was on antidepressants. Long story...I just got the story line wrong. Anyway, after that I talked with my doc. Since a lot of his patients deal with depression as a part of their HIV status he was use to prescribing for this. In my case he prescribed 300 mg of Bupropion XL. Within a few weeks things started to change...for the better. It was like I was on a slow, but steady, upward trajectory. With each day I seemed to be able to connect with people more and more.

So I went into talk therapy and also got a psychiatrist to oversee my psych meds. After 3 or so visits he gave me his diagnosis. Depression (can not remember what type he called it), PTSD, and Generalized Anxiety. So in addition to the Bupropion he put me on 20 mg of Lexapro. While that helped the anxiety it also stopped my upward trajectory with the Bupropion. I didn't regress I just sort of...stopped feeling. So the Psychiatrist upped my Bupropion to 450 mg. Things got better again and I started moving upward again.

I take my meds each day. As usual, I take them completely different from most people. 300 mg of Bupropion XL in the morning and 150 mg in the evening. I take the all of the Lexapro in the evening. Plus every Friday evening I give myself a shot of testosterone and nandrolone. I mention these because they also help my mood.

It all seems to work for me. I don't think I have any real bad side effects. I can still get off. Takes a bit but then it always did. I sleep pretty good...most of the time. The only time I have a hard time is when I take Lorazepam for those nights I'm having trouble falling asleep. Then my problem is waking up. Not groggy once I'm up but I can look at my clock, know I have to get up, turn over in my bed to get up and fall asleep during the turn to wake up thirty minutes later. Not too bad on a weekend but not good during the work week.

Anyway, the gist of this is you might want to check your dosages. You might need higher doses. I'm at the limit with Bupropion. After 450 mg you start getting in a zone where seizures can take place. But, quite frankly, I'd go to 600 mg if that was what was necessary. I never want to go back to what my life was like before my psych meds.