Faith

I wanted to talk about this more in my story but I felt like it deserved its own post.

I spoke about how I came to faith. But I didn’t talk about how it changed my life.

When I first came to know Christ, I came to know love. For the very first time, I came to an idea of worth.

Someone once told me “if you were the only person in the world, Jesus still would’ve come down to earth to die and rise again just for you. Because Gods love for you, individually, is that strong.”

I devoted my life to my faith. Bible studies, church, community groups, etc.

I hold firm to the belief that my church is the best place I’ve ever known. They even paid for part of my stay in treatment in 2012. Nothing but constant love and support.

The camp that I worked at was phenomenal. I met many wonderful christians and got to do kingdom work with first and second graders and then high schoolers. My time at the camp brought me so much closer to God.

I believe that God’s love is for everyone and that it’s never failing. He is constant and that’s such a relief in this world of change.

A couple months ago I came out as a lesbian. A very challenging thing to do as a Christian who has been told for so long that it’s wrong. The people from the camp I worked at no longer speak to me. I’ve pretty much been excommunicated. I work every Sunday so I haven’t been able to go to church in months. I feel isolated from my community group and I’m no longer included in events with my church friends.

Here’s the thing, I am still a Christian. I have never once turned away from God. I am a praying, bible reading, podcast listening, Jesus freak and that will never change.

I recognize my sins and I recognize God’s grace.

Christ is where I turn for hope. “I tell you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trials and tribulation. Fear not! For I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘what do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”