01 May 2014

happy may day aka the day my brain up and left the building

I was actually going to call this post 'Pimple: 1, Emily: 0', but with the magic of camera filters, you can hardly see
the gigantic one that magically appeared by my nose sometime while I was
sleeping last night! Modern technology for the win!

I woke up this morning and swear to you that I grew 2 inches.
or my normally long shirt just shrank in length, but I'm going to go
with the growing two-inches thing because I simply refuse to accept that I've
hit that moment in life where you exclusively grow out, not up.

So my brain has pretty much up and left the building for the
week. I went to the counter at my regular coffee shop and because I'm there 3-6 times/day, they all know my 'usual' - iced tea with just a
splash of lemonade, a whisper, if you will. Arnold Palmer's less
intense little brother, or something. Arnie Jr. Anyways, given my brain activity
has been basically flat-lined all morning, I thought I'd get my more
extreme and less-usual drink, an iced dirty chai (chai tea with an
espresso shot). I walk up to the counter, and the nice girl looks at me
knowingly, and says, "The usual?" and I just stare at her... seriously! Not blinking or anything! Literally, expressionless and unable to speak
for a socially unacceptable and officially awkward amount of time! And
suddenly, I forgot where I was, what day it was, what my "usual" even
was.

Yeah, I know. Bye bye, brain!

And after a good minute
of blinkless staring right into her eyes, I say "Wait, what? What am I
doing?" and she's obviously thinking "Okay, Crazy," and eventually I figure out
where I am and how to form words, and I drink that dirty chai like I
mean it. I think it was the first time I've ever been truly immune to the
effects of espresso, because that is caffeine that means business! And I felt nothing!