Modern Dating Advice for Smart Singles

How To Create Successful Encounters

After years of giving dating advice I constantly meet people who haven’t learned the importance of adding value.

Whether they feel their presence is a gift in itself, most of the time when people fail in dating it’s because they are not adding enough value to their partners’ life. This couldn’t be more obvious than in the first few minutes of conversation with a stranger.

While you might not be deeply invested in the lives of everyone you meet the ability to be of interest to them isn’t a trait I find most people can turn on or off.

The belief that when you meet the right person you will instantly wow them with your personality, despite the fact that you haven’t had this effect on others, is a little misguided. When I meet new people, it’s easy to determine whether they’re interesting or not. How, you may ask, can I be the judge of who is interesting and who isn’t?

It’s a simple thing called chemistry.

When we are interested in people our body responds. We feel a sense of anticipation, delight, we are engaged in what they have to say and we feel to put it plainly, good.

Let’s say you meet a potential date and you would like to get to know them. Within a few seconds of seeing each other you are in close enough proximity to spark a conversation. You have a very small window to claim this person’s interest and show that you are worth more time and effort.

How do you do it?

If you haven’t had a date in a while the answer could be that you don’t. If you’ve had a series of first dates that have never manifested into anything serious, then you probably don’t do it very well.

Enough finger-pointing, you’re probably asking well, how is it done. How does one meet multiple strangers and seem interesting enough to them to create chemistry and significance?

Stay positive.

Your mental checklist should be as follows, are you smiling. Have you shared a compliment? Are you standing up straight, to show confidence and thinking to yourself, positive thoughts? Are you making eye contact? And most importantly are you fully engage in the moment.

Show Interest.

No one will be interested in you if you don’t show genuine interest in them. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Respond appropriately to statements this person makes. If the person you are talking with mentions they’re in a hurry, don’t casually drag on the encounter as if you haven’t gotten the message.

Alter your expectations.

Regardless of if you’re single or not, everyone should develop a positive attitude to meeting others. Every encounter is a chance for a meaningful connection. Now this doesn’t mean you engage in conversation with any bum off the street, but it means when you are in conversation, no matter with who, take it as an opportunity to practice the processes.

I know that many singles believe that they will know the “One” when they meet them. Often we don’t pay attention to the impression we’re making on anyone else. If you aren’t in the habit of having successful encounters with most people you meet then you are likely not to have them with potential dates.

What is a successful meeting? If someone says, “It was a pleasure to meet you.” It should be true.

I thoroughly loved your tips on if you want to keep your man.. Though I myself comes from the men fraternity yet could not refrain from liking the minute detail you explained as I Could have easily relate to each point 😄. That's why , the marriage kills the romance because of those bad traits.

Miss Solomon - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

Thank you for your comment, and for reading. My advice is this. A man should be cherishing and chasing you. A man should be worried that he will lose you if he doesn't show you attention. If a man isn't treating you like you're valuable to him, don't stay with him. Show your own value by leaving him alone. You don't need anyone in your life who makes you feel like you're second class. I hope this was helpful.

Miss Solomon - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

Thank you so much for your comment and thank you for reading! I know this is easy to say but the best way to approach men that you like is to remove yourself from the outcome. Yes, you want a date, and I think it's great that you took the initiative but don't beat yourself up about the outcome. The circumstances might not be right. There is one way I recommend taking action in dating to see results. It's a simple process - Step 1. Write down 3 possible scenarios A,B,C - A being if nothing happens, B being if it something happens but not what you expected, C being if your ideal results happen. Then try to imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Prepare yourself for no response, for a rejection, or for a date. If you're prepared for any outcome, its easy to take action. Just don't NEED anything certain result. Just take action because you're a brave person willing to take risks, and go after what you want. Instead of worrying about the result, just focus on taking action. It's not about what happens, it's about taking the action, accepting the result as feedback and moving forward with new information. I think you did a great thing! and the action itself means more than the result because you showed confidence. If you don't get a date, that's ok. But don't stop right taking action where you can. I hope this was helpful.

Danica - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

there is this guy who flirts with me, shows all 32 teeth when smiling at me and sighs around me a lot, well I do like him and think the feeling is mutual, but ive asked men out in the past and that did NOT turn out as I had hoped. but I decided to give it another shot by giving my crush a Christmas card and writing in it the following "me and you coffee with my name/number" and if he is interested he has my digits. is that too much or not.

lizzy - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

i want u to advice me ma.there is dis guy v bn lvn for d past 10yrs i lata told im my filns and he agri to date ever since dat day he hasnt called or text v bn the 1 textn and calln.what can i do