May 22, 2011

We were bopping around on the dance floor and I could tell something wasn't right. He did a spin move then quickly darted across the room. Just as I wondered where he went, his noxious fart particles hit me, making my nose hairs prickle.

What did he have for dinner, a kidney bean cauliflower casserole and a hot sauce broccoli milkshake? His asshole was flapping more than an American flag in a tornado. I stood there holding my beer with one hand and my nose with the other, watching his smelly kazoohole toot around the bar.

I'm serious, his farts were OUT OF CONTROL! He cropdusted the place, leaving a trail of toxicity behind him. I was downwind from this stink-a-thon and it was a nightmare. I didn't realize that I had to bring a gas mask along with my wallet, lip gloss and cell phone tonight. PEE EEW!