At Cambridge

A lot of things happened while I was at Cambridge. There were way too many thoughts and feelings and events and to simply note down, so I guess I'll tell the whole story. That's the only way it's going to make sense.

21. Twenty one

I feel terrible as soon as I see George. He smiles at me and hugs me, kissing my cheek. I sigh, looking up at him.

"I need to talk to you." I say, sighing again.

His smile fades and he looks apprehensive. "That doesn't sound good."

I laugh weakly as we sit down on his bed. God, he's still so good looking and kind hearted. People are going to think I'm mental. Maybe I am a little bit. I am breaking up with the most beautiful guy here to be with my professor. I'm going to seem even crazier because I am going to be breaking up with him for nobody and seemingly no reason.

"I... I think maybe we should break up." I say.

He pauses. "Why?"

The one question I have no idea how to answer.

"I just... we're at Cambridge university." I say, staring at him, trying to figure out how I could state the obvious in a way that's going to explain anything. "You know... Cambridge. Like, it's a really good university, isn't it?"

He nods slowly. "Yes..."

"I just don't want to mess this up." I tell him. That's not a lie. "I really want to focus on English and History. I mean, I have absolutely loved being with you, you never did anything wrong or anything like that, I really loved being with you. I just don't want to look back on my time at Cambridge and realise that I never actually focused on my studies."

He smiles, taking my hand. "Dais, I completely understand. You're right. It probably is best that we break up. We shouldn't waste any time here."

I smile back, relieved. "I'm so glad you understand."

"Still friends, yeah?" he asks.

"Of course." I grin and he squeezes my hand.

"See you in class tomorrow." he says.

I walk out, relieved that that went okay. I still feel like there's something to worry about though. I'm not stupid, I know that what Ed and I are doing is pretty much crazy. It's really not allowed, it could ruin everything. But I think we can keep it a secret and I think it's worth it. I definitely think it's worth it when I get back to his house and he's sprawled out on the sofa, watching TB.

"Hey!" he calls from the living room while I'm still in the hall, taking my shoes off. "Come lie down. Or sit down. Whatever takes your fancy."

I laugh, going in and sitting on the end of the sofa, pushing his legs out of the way. "Hi."

"Have you done the deed?"

"You mean have I killed George?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. "Yep. Don't know where to put the body though. I just put him in your recycling bin, hope you don't mind."

He laughs. "Oh wow. Okay. But did you break up with him first?"

"Yeah, I broke up with him." I say, breathing a sigh of relief. "He took it well. Like, really well." I pause. "Should I be offended?"

"Maybe a little." Ed says and then grins, shaking his head when he sees my expression. "You're so gullible sometimes."

"You're really quite mean sometimes." I shove him. He shoves me back but then gets up and puts the kettle on to make us some tea.