5 signs of male depression to look out for

And how to deal with it

When John Thompson's character in the ITV show Cold Feet tackled the reality of depression in men, social media erupted with praise for the writer of the show, Mike Bullen, who had experienced depression.

Most men like to think of themselves in control. So if they ever start to feel out of control, upset or angry they'll probably bury their feelings or try and cover them up. This could result in unusual personality traits – most commonly known as the symptoms of depression.

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Depression is more common in men than we think, with millions affected by it. But the tell-tale signs won't be as easy to spot as depression could be in a woman. Men can be less willing to open up, less vocal and probably less willing to seek any professional help

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David Brudo, Co-Founder and CEO of mental wellbeing app Remente,who has also experienced depression, talks us through what symptoms you should look out for and how you can help your partner through depression.

1. Feeling sad or 'empty'

The feeling of emptiness is one of the tell-tale signs of depression. This stems from the pessimistic vicious circle characteristic of depression. Instead of hoping for the best and anticipating success, your partner may start thinking that nothing is good enough, leaving them feeling both sad and empty. They may also feel that nothing in their lives can make them fulfilled, not getting excited about anything, and instead, remaining in a constant state of apathy.

So look out for any signs of negative reactions, the way they word things or if they start to moan about stuff -– especially if it's out of character for them.

Depression is linked to feeling sad, pessimistic and passive. While these are indeed symptoms of depression, in some men, it can also manifest itself in other ways so you may see them becoming irritable or angry instead. In a man who is depressed, these emotions will be constantly bubbling just under the surface, causing him to snap at the smallest things.

3. Loss of interest in life

You may also find that your partner loses interest in things that used to interest them. This is known as anhedonia. Men who experience anhedonia will lose interest in their hobbies, their passion for their work and even their enjoyment of sex.

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Interestingly, while not enough research has been conducted into this sphere, it is thought that we experience anhedonia, not because our pleasure receptors are blocked, but because depression prevents us from sustaining the feelings of enjoyment for long periods of time.

4. Feeling tired

People who experience depression will often find themselves exhausted. The main reason for this is that depression can often cause sleep problems, making it very difficult for the person to rest. Is your partner sleeping more, struggling to sleep or waking up in the night?

Additionally, fatigue forms a vicious circle with depression, as it causes people to isolate themselves, become more inactive and as a result even more depressed. This means that your partner could also be less inclined to interact socially.

He may also start to forget conversations or be able to concentrate less on every day things like reading or watching a film through until the end. The reason that we lose concentration and memories when we're depressed, is because the parts of the brain that are responsible for storing memories is affected by depression. While at first this can be mildly irritating, over time, memory loss and lack of concentration can cause misunderstandings and arguments in your relationships, as well as the inability to complete seemingly straightforward tasks at work.

How can you help a partner through depression?

Encourage him to speak about it and listen to them when they do. Many men can struggle to vocalise their feelings, or think that they're being weak if they do – encouraging him to speak about his thoughts and feelings can help him gain perspective and make him more hopeful.

Make sure he doesn't stay at home, sitting around and brooding on his thoughts. Try and get him to go out, engage with friends or do a hobby that he previously enjoyed.

If you're in a relationship with a man who has depression, it's important that you isolate the condition from you and him. He wouldn't normally snap at you or refuse to speak to you, while you wouldn't normally feel worried or overwhelmed. It is important you separate these feelings and emotions from how you feel about each other, as otherwise it can have a negative effect on your relationship.

Lastly, encourage him to seek help, which would start by going to see your GP. You alone will not be able to 'fix' the problem, as depression needs professional treatment and thinking that you can treat it on your own will not only lead to nothing, but can leave you feeling exhausted and unwell as a result. While it's essential that you're there for your partner, supporting them as much as possible, at no point should you think that helping them is a job that you alone can do.

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