Thirteen Hilarious ‘One Liners’ from Owners and Tenants

When you’re in the property management space long enough, you ‘hear them all’ – and then some!

We ran a Facebook Post recently asking our audience for their best one-liners from landlords and/or tenant clients and the following are the favourites as voted by our Facebook community.

Enjoy!

Here are the best one-liners as voted by our Facebook followers. Thanks to everyone for their contribution.

“I paid rent yesterday but I really need $150 back as I need money. I’ll come to your office so have the money ready for me straight away.”~Kylie Moss

Tenant: “I’m sick of being harassed about paying rent on time. At the end of our lease, we will be evacuating.”~Amanda Bowes

When I reminded a lovely tenant I had about an inspection and he came back with this:“Thanks, Sarah. I’ll dismantle the Methamphetamine laboratory now in anticipation of the inspection! Cheers, Ben”~Sarah Healey

“I know you won’t let me in with a rum and coke so I brought one for you as well.” – Tenant at an Open Home carrying tinnies of rum and coke.~Kathryn Fry

Tenant: “Can we move in a week earlier and come for the keys on the 9th instead of the 16th?” -No problems, change the lease start dates and the rent paid to dates.”Tenant 2 days later: “I don’t want to start the lease and pay the rent from the 9th; I just want to collect the keys so we can start moving stuff in, I still want the lease to start on the 16th.”~Lisa Bennett

Me: You have a cat inside at your property.Tenant: How do you know?Me: We have driven past and seen it in the window.Tenant: It’s a statue.~Melanie Martens

From an owner: can you ask the vacating tenant to leave the power on, we need it on for renovations.~Bridget Phillips

At a re-inspection and the house smelt like marijuana. I openly asked the tenant if they had been smoking inside of the property, ‘no, it’s incense.’~Kim Lowe

Monday – called tenant, you’re 15 days behind in rent what’s going on?- Excuse excusesThursday – called the same tenant, you’re 18 days behind in rent and you didn’t pay like you said you would.Tenant: what? This isn’t fair, on Monday you said I was 15 days behind how can I now be 18 days?!~Sandra Paul

Tenant: My light isn’t working.Me: Did you change the light bulb?Tenant: I don’t understand.Me: Did you change the light bulb?Tenant: How would I know how to that?~Kyle Dwyer

“I’m going on holidays and won’t be actually living in the property for a month so do I still have to pay rent?”~Natalie Abbott

“So you don’t get up on the roof during routines to see if gutters are full?” – Owner~Laura Levisohn

“You don’t understand what it’s like to be hot – you don’t have children”(A tenant’s plea for air conditioning).~Fiona Bryant-Smith

Tenant: We want hills hoist washing line.Me: No, you have a wall mounted washing line. The owner hates the look of hills hoists in the middle of yards and she won’t install one as they are ugly.Tenant: But we’re the tenants – don’t you have to do what WE want?~Rachael Jenkins