Who is Lee Atwater?
The man we named our beloved contest after was a political go-getter (i.e. scumbag) for the Republican party back in the 1980s. When the two lists for our very first game were turned in (December, 1990), Atwater was on both of them, due to a brain tumor the size of a cantaloupe. Lee succumbed to the malignant melon in March, and turned out to be the only stiff scored by either player for the year.

What is The stiffs.com Select-O-Matic?
The stiffs.com Select-O-Matic is the world’s first and only fully-automated dead-pool-list-maker-upper. Driven by the awe-inspiring power of the Z-5000a, it’s stocked with more than 1800 pre-approved celebrities, and features the Single-clicker Action-picker and Whispersleek page-reloader technology.

And what the hell is the Z-5000?
The Z-5000 is our trusty super-duper-computer, created from scratch by ultra geniuses at the stiffs.complex. This colossal machine powers the entire stiffs.complex, handles the data-manipulation and administrative tasks for thousands of Dead Pool contests around the globe, and can make a perfect martini in just seconds! It was built in the early spring of ’98, using only spare vacuum-cleaner parts and a Performa 450. It remains one of the landmark technical achievements of the 20th century. Behold the Z-5000.

Did you know your celeb list is missing some people?
Yeah, we know. There’s gotta be hundreds and thousands of famous names that didn’t make the cut, as far as the Fame Committee is concerned. We weren’t trying to get ’em all because it’s not possible to get ’em all. Got one you want to put on one of your entries? You can submit it as a write-in candidate, but you’d better read this first.

Okay, the game just started. Now where’s my list?
It usually takes a week or three before we’re completely ready to unveil a new game. We have to get all the responses back from the Fame Committee before we can determine which write-in names are famous and which aren’t.

How come you won’t tell us who the Not Famous are?
We don’t want to list those names publicly for a couple of reasons, neither of which are that we’re too polite to show the world the kind of nobodies you idiots think are famous. Firstly, suppose some up-and-coming porn starlet gets written in by Mortician Addams for The March Lee Jr., and doesn’t get recognized by the FC. Addams happens to know that the starlet’s got a weak gag reflex, and he’s got a hunch she may bite off more than she can chew one of these days. Then, in April, St. Valentine’s Day Assacre, her first starring role, hits the big screen and makes her a household name. By the time The October Lee Jr. rolls around, everybody on the Fame Committee has seen the film at least once, and she’s a shoo-in for celebrity status. Why shouldn’t Mortician Addams still be able to use his inside info without all the other players knowing that somebody tried to enter her for some reason? (Enter her, get it?) Mort’s inside dope has been unfairly devalued, and that’s unfair. The second reason we don’t list the Not Famous is the confusion factor. Using the same porn starlet scenario as above, if we put her name on a page under the heading “Not Famous,” a lot of people will assume that that makes her off-limits for all-time. It doesn’t matter what we write, we’ve been there before, and there would be big trouble. It’s worth noting here that the names we do make known, the ones that have been declared Famous, won’t change. Those suckers are up for grabs for keeps. You still awake out there?

What’s with all the Kurt Cobain bashing?
We’re not bashing the guy — we like Nirvana. Look, when we first put this site up, Kurt had already been dead for more than two years. But everywhere we went, new magazines were on display featuring Kurt’s face on the cover with some blockbuster headline. There were dozens of ’em, and they kept coming, month after month. In fact, they’re still putting them out. What the hell could all those stories be? Readers by the millions were being suckered into shelling out $4.95 to find out there was nothing new. As a public service, we decided to let kids keep up with the latest on the country’s cutest corpse without having to buy endless collections of clothing ads.

How much do you guys make off this?
That’s really none of your goddamned business, but we’re going tell you anyway, just so you’ll feel like a heel for asking. Here’s an approximated breakdown of expenses vs. gross income for The 2000 Invitational:

I can’t find the name of the celeb who died just after getting [a major award or Hall of Fame admission: don’t recall which].
It came to mind with yesterday’s death of songwriter/ producer/steel guitarist/everything else in country music “Cowboy” Jack Clement just after he made the HoF. Although in his case, I think they knew he was dying and wanted him in prehumously.

I was hoping I would read this FAQ and see a question like, “What happened to Fucko the Clown, Director of Public Relations?” And then see a reply right beneath the question that read, “The Fucko the Clown archive is here,” with the word “here” being a hyperlink directly to an archive for The world’s crankiest clown.

A Fucko the Clown archive would be great. It would expose a new generation of stiffs.com visitors to the Fuckster, as well as provide some nostalgic masturbatory entertainment for old bastards like me.