Oscar Losers Still Get "Vampire Facelifts"

Even if Jessica Chastain loses to Jennifer Lawrence at the Oscars this weekend, she'll at least go home with a voucher for a free vampire facelift. Wait, what?

The gorgeous and talented Academy "losers" (don't worry, not you, Anne Hathaway) will get the ultimate in SWAG–a goodie bag with $45,000 worth of freebies, including the blood-harvesting facial.

Evidently, the procedure has been a thing for five years (who knew?!) and consists of drawing your blood, then injecting it back into your face. Because the plasma in your blood is awesome for making you look super young. Supposedly, the facelift not only stimulates your body's production of collagen and elastin, but also gives your mug some youthful plumpiness.

This is all very Bella Swan.

Such beauty comes at a cost: The facelifts are a cool $5,000 a pop. (Which is almost as scary as the procedure itself.)