Tag Archives: writing

Not a Business, but a Feature

Sideshow Apps for Mobile

One of the biggest growing segments of the tech sector is Mobile & Web App Development. Ever since FaceBook became the behemoth that it is today, thousands of entrepreneurs have begun coding & developing the next multi-million or billion dollar app. I read popular tech blogs such as TechCrunch, PandoDaily, Mashable, and so on, and everyday you can see a report on which new app developer got some seed funding or investments, or you’d see which analyst placed a valuation on a app, and so on. And for awhile, I would say that the funding was for legitimate businesses: e-commerce apps like Gilt.com, FourSquare, Evernote, and the like. It made sense to me because these apps have that thing called a ‘Business Model’.

Enter Snapchat & Poke.

I read on a tech blog article that SnapChat is valued at about $50 Million dollars. Pause. Think about that for a second. A messaging app that self destructs messages after a few seconds of viewing is worth millions of dollars – and this is a ‘business’. Welcome to the wide world of ‘features’ being ‘businesses’.

FaceBook initially wanted to buy SnapChat, but reports indicate that they wanted to hold out for a higher buyout, in which FaceBook said ‘F— That; we can clone you and make you a feature app in our OS called FaceBook!’. And that is how FaceBook’s ‘Poke’ was born – in a matter of few days. FaceBook is essentially a communication experience, and in some regards a sophisticated web OS (not to be confused with webOS), and they realized that apps such as SnapChat, Instagram, to name a few, are features that can be integrated into a larger system. The late great Steve Jobs said it best when he had plans to acquire DropBox for its cloud solution for Mac OS/iOS, and DropBox played ‘hard to get’. At the time Steve Jobs said DropBox was a ‘Feature’ not a ‘Product’. And many of these app developers with their nonsense apps I hope realize that they don’t really have a product, but are working hard to sell/integrate their feature app into a larger system.

Keep Calm, and Laugh On

Sometimes you just have to ‘Laugh About It’ – at situations that involve yourself. Specifically the situations that you act indifferent over; like it can go either way, and either way it goes you won’t get overly worked up about it. They say that laughter is a ‘medicine’ to life’s stresses & ills – which I agree, there have been studies that show that when we laugh, chemicals are released in the body that relaxes us – with the end result being that we experience momentary happiness.

Personally, I sometimes have to laugh at the situations that I find myself in, but more specifically the disparity of the narratives in my head. To explain further, pretty much the differences of how I think of a situation or a person, and how that person thinks of it. Being one that is creative, likes to write narratives, storylines, and characters, its no wonder that that brand of thinking has fused over into how I see/construct my personal relationships with people. I’m one to write narratives with metaphors, deep subtext, and immersive correlations – which are great on paper or in a scene that you Produce; but it doesn’t translate that well in the real world. People don’t pick up on the subtle nuances so easily, and its damn near impossible for them to pick-up on the narrative that you are trying to construct with them – so rather than the relationship being an indie film with intricate metaphors & creative subtext/sub-plots, its best to keep it a blockbuster movie – make sh*t clear and transparent as possible to understand. Another case of ‘dumbing it down’, and for myself – not being able to realize this, I definitely have to ‘Laugh About it’.

Lessons learned, one chuckle at a time. Well, one chuckle at yourself at a time. As always, I try to correlate these little anecdotes of me to a greater scale, so here are some reasons why its good to ‘Laugh About it’, when situations.

Hearing that you are “Not the Father!” on Maury

The Ugly Girl that has stalked you for months, finally finds YOU as being ugly and undesirable

Stressing over that exam that you thought you did so poorly on, but you actually passed it with flying colors

Finally mustering up the courage to tell that girl that you like her, and she feels the same way

These are all situations that we have a tendency to feel great cognitive dissonance with, as we battle with the extremes in the situation & all of the possible outcomes that may transpire. So in the end of this rabbling-fest, remember to ‘Laugh About it’, and ‘Laugh at yourself’, because most of the situations that we have battles with are not that serious and if we got over our own personal insecurities, our future self would probably slap our present self for being so timid and scared to take risks …. Oh, and more importantly, our future self would laugh at us, which would mean the future self is laughing at our self.

The 4 Types of Rappers

There are 4 Types of Rappers that we all know, love, hate, despise, and secretly want to be like.

The 90’s Rapper

This is the rapper that thinks that Rakim & Eric B are still the President, and hope that Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth will get back together. Baggy pants are still a staple fashion, and using complex metaphors over a classic snare drum & clap mixed with a boring chorus – are the ingredients to ‘Real Hip-Hop’

Top 90’s Rappers:

Jay Electronica

Raekwon

Underground Rappers

The Gangsta Rapper

This is the Alpha Thug, spends his drug money on working with the popular producers and the best studios. Loves Scarface. Is not afraid to take pics or videos of himself with guns, knives, and using banned narcotics. Likes to use a wide range of simile’s to explain how he will shoot and kill you, your family, and even retroactively kill your deceased great-great GrandFather from the civil war.

Top Gangsta Rappers:

Young Jeezy

Rick Ross

Gucci Mane

The Swag Rapper

This is the Rapper whom gets his haircut at least once a week, cause you, black ppl’s hair grows back very fast. Always has the newest shoes and gear, frequenter of the Luxury Car Rental stores – cause appearance is everything, right? Makes sure to buy bottles upon bottles in the club, pouring liquor into his entourage’s mouth, and strangers. And always takes a bad bitch back to the hotel – then when its time to checkout, its back to Mama’s house … Until next weekend, and ‘We Do it again’.

Top Swag Rappers:

Ma$e

Tyga

Any rapper that is highly materialistic (Yes, its a lot)

The Emo Rapper

This is the rapper that likes close fitting jeans, and low V-neck tops. Working out at the gym isn’t that important, food isn’t as important either. Comes from the suburbs, but knows about hardships …. Talks about real problems like bitches that snort too much of your cocaine, those type of issues. Likes to sing too, and thinks they are ‘Pseudo Rockers’ so will have a skateboard and guitar too. Also this rapper is very expressive with his feelings and emotions, sometimes a bit too much.

Top Emo Rappers:

Drake

Drake

And, Drake

Yeah, we know there are more types of Rappers that could possibly be added to this list, feel free to list those types in the comments below.

Whom are the better drivers? Men or Women?

This argument has been discussed for many years, and I’d suggest that up to the 90’s, the hands down argument was that Men were the better drivers than womenn; and that can be attributed just to the rise of equality/feminism. In the 60’s, Men were driving more than women because Men worked and the women stayed home, so by definition of exposure/repetition, its safe to say that Men were the better drivers. But as Women started going to work and being more independent, its safe to say that we have reached a point where there are just as many Women drivers as Men. According to a survey by Carrentals UK, they have attested that Women are better drivers than Men, and produced the following findings:

57 per cent of men had been involved in one or more accidents compared to 44 per cent of women

45 per cent of 36- to 45-year-old and men over 65 years old had been caught speeding

60 per cent of men over 65 had been involved in an accident, compared to 30 per cent of women in the same age group.

Source: http://www.carrentals.co.uk/

Probably, a better way to look at whom are better drivers can be boiled down to whom can be distracted the easiest; and for Men and Women, they both have vices that cause them to be distracted while at the wheel.

Distractions for Women

Rearview Mirror: Women use this not to really check vehicles behind them, but to check their lipstick & massacre

Mobile Phone: A second not checking the phone is a second of missed Instagram pics from their friends

Distractions for Men

Women on the Street: If there is a hot chick standing on the street, we will definitely break our necks to catch a glimpse

Women in the Car: Self-explanatory

Remove the distractions that both Men & Women have and then they are both good drivers that can navigate the road with efficiency – hopefully.

Is Chivalry Dead?

So you were able to persuade the girl of your dreams in going on a date with you, perfect. Things are going well, you give her your magic charm, she is smiling & laughing (hopefully not at you), the food is good, and you end up paying, and you take her home. Good Stuff. But the cycle of you paying for the meal after the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and to the 10th date, starts to leave you wondering, “When is she going to pay for the date?”. And this is the question that is the fuel for debate, and equally the source of arguments as some women, regardless of how long they have been dating their Man, refuse to pay for dates. Chivalry is not dead, is it? Yes, Men should do certain things, but we also live in an age of equality – with the rise of Feminism, women desire & want to be treated as equal, as they should be. But in some facets of life, they still want the Man to ‘take care’ of certain things such as dates – even if they are in a long-term committed relationship or even married.

A lot has been said also on whom initiates the date – meaning that if the Man asks the Woman out, then the Man should pay – I can understand that. But after awhile, once a mutual understanding is established, and once both parties are interested in each other, then that is when things such as dates should start being shared, right? This video illustrates the differing views between males & females on whom should pay for date – hilarity ensues as most women will stick to their guns that women should NEVER pay for dates, and where Men are always trying to walk that fine line of ‘wishing/hoping’ that women eventually start sharing or paying their ‘fair share’.

Flip the Neediness?

A method to dump your partner w/o being the ‘Bad Guy’

I’m sure we all have had that experience of being with someone that just became too needy over time; at first their needy behavior was ‘adorable, but then it grew into a weird beast that is both weird and sometimes creepy – with constant text messages and phone calls. Well, there are a couple of ways to deal with the needy:

Drop ‘em like its hot – the fastest & equally coldest method

Tolerate – answer the constant text messages/phone calls

Flip the Neediness – YOU become the needy one!

Now this is the one that is most interesting, ‘Flippin the Neediness’. Defined by comic Justin Laite, this is the process of becoming even MORE needier that your needy partner so that they start realizing that YOU are the neediness and with the hopes that they eventually dump you because they can’t handle your needy behavior any more. So for instance if they call you 5 times a day, then you start calling them 20 times a day. Send them over 50 text messages a day; describe your toast, coffee, brunch, lunch, and so on. ‘Like’ and comment on all of their FaceBook posts everyday. Eventually, they should be sick of you and will start to think that YOU have a problem. This is almost an ideal situation if it works because it removes the burden of dumping someone that is emotionally unstable. Classic.

Has anyone tried this before? What has been your findings? I would presume it would be awesome.

Gourmet Ghetto Quick Meals

We get it, life is busy. And sometimes, its just easier to stop off at your favorite Fast Food Chain and shove thousands of calories & sodium into your mouth for $2.99 or less. But, there are options for creating quick ‘Creative Meals’ for people on the go.

‘Ghetto Cooking’ sounds bad, but its really just a method of fusing together cooking ingredients based on a few simple pillars – the main pillar being whatever is in your kitchen (seriously). There are 2 dishes that you can try that will not only save you time in the kitchen, but will save you money.

Spaghetti & Meatballs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stiaG-mqh-M

This is a simple recipe for the classic ‘Spaghetti & Meatballs’, but without the Meatballs. Here is what you will need:

> Spaghetti Pasta or Ramen Noodles

> Ketchup

> Hot Dog Weiners

Prep Time: 5-10 minutes

Gourmet Beef Patty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37Xcplk942U

Everybody loves a Beef Patty, but what about taking it to the next step and creating a Gourmet Beef Patty sandwich? Now, you are probably thinking ‘Patty & cocoa Bread’, nope – that is not what is happening here. We are putting the gourmet ingredients into the Patty itself. Here is what you’ll need:

> Beef Patty

> Lettuce

> Tomatoes

> Onions

> Pickles

> Cheese

Prep Time: 7 mins

Hope these recipes will be added to your culinary repertoire – if not, hope you at least learned some creative Ghetto alternatives to cooking!

Male & Female Drivers

Comedians Sylvana & Justin do battle once again as they stick up for their respective genders to discuss which sex has better skills behind the wheel. They both make convincing arguments, but I’m going to have to say that Men are the better drivers because we aren’t preoccupied with looking at OURSELVES in the rearview mirror.

Another comedy project from Urban Comedy Network in the POV series, go subscribe and share this video, support please if you get a laugh.

Controlling the self’s

Living with our many Compartments

I don’t think I have posted this, but I wrote this little note in December 2011:
“For awhile I have thought, better yet have been battling with the many creative endeavours that I pursue. And I always have battled with the questions “How do I promote this brand?”, “Do I have to create a new site for this brand”, etc., blah blah blah. And I think that Life in B Major will be the definitive title to embody everything whom I am – which is, profoundly, ‘The Creator of Things’. This is whom I am, at least this is whom I think I am. And I will try to be this to the fullest. I guess this is what you call ‘consolidating the compartments’ to make one unifying floor with no distinct sections & barriers, only logical ones.

Clarity. End scene.”

As I reflect on the year that was, I don’t think I have made as much progress that I wanted, though I have made some strides to consolidate the compartments to a solid 2.5 (don’t ask how I have derived the .5), and I have a better self-awareness of my battle of confidence and believing in myself & my abilities – I’ll touch on that in another post.

Anyhow, this is my first real post in awhile, and just like every other time that I say I am going to post more regularly, this time, I mean it!

Oppositional Disorder

Hate, Misdirected

I think this may be a trait of good ‘ol haterism, oppositional disorder is one of those created theories to describe the tendency of people to just oppose anything – any argument, no matter how logical and plausible the argument is, they will still oppose. And you may get to thinking, “Damn, Rhonda is just a bitch; that bitch opposes anything”, and yes, she may be a Bitch, but she is not necessarily opposing your arguments, but she is opposing the idea of ‘you’, and anything that you stand for, or utter. And this oppositional disorder tendency is prevalent throughout society; we have examples of oppositional disorder characters all over.

Politics
– I’m sure the initial ideals of politics are nothing like the current political landscape, because now politics are only about directly opposing the position of your competitor. Even if one party fundamentally agrees with a proposed policy or bill of another party, they will find/create some flaw to oppose it.

News Pundits
Though the environment is created by the news producers, but most news shows focus on discussing a topic, having one person from the left, one person from the right, and having the news anchor moderate the argument between the two – that makes for ‘Great TV’

Most Parents vs Adolescents
I’m sure most teenagers and youth feel that their parents just ‘hate’ and oppose everything they wanna do, and similarly, I am sure that Parents feel the same way – as their children that they have raised from birth, whom are now forming their identity and opinions, seem to oppose each & everything they say.

Flirting
Believe it or not, the oppositional disorder can be used in the romance department. To create intrigue, mystery, and conversation going strong – just oppose what she says, because 9 times out of 10 she will be wrong, and it creates a case for you to show off your wonderful rhetoric skills (make sure you have such skills before attempting)

In all, the oppositional disorder is all over, and if you oppose anything I said in this piece, then you have the disorder too.