The first show opens with camcorder footage of a cow being shot out of a mortar cannon. (Ack, no it doesn't - it starts with the dinner party scene.) But Morris's astoundingly surreal investigation of man's relationship with animals (highlights include assorted celebrities making a heart-rending appeal for help for an elephant with its trunk stuck up its anus) is only the tip of the iceberg.

"Drugs" is nearly wholly given over to a campaign to stop the made-up drug cake (see the node cake for full details), where Morris managed to gull dozens of publicity-hungry celebs. "Science" reveals the dark past of the Apollo 11astronauts (with clever mixing of real and archive footage), and the scandal of Heavy Electricity.

"Sex" has Peter Sissens receiving fellatio at the newsdesk, homosexuality in the Navy, and an American politician who is a compulsive masturbator (this episode is gleefully offensive, and its somewhat short running time suggests even more stuff was cut). "Crime" has the series at its most technically polished, with a very tightly-written report on a run-down housing estate, and celebrities (Tommy Vance, Geoffrey Boycott and Vanessa Feltz) filming a video to be shown to young offenders.

Morris presents the show himself (in his On The Hour newsreader role, as well as several heavily-made-up alter-egos used to interview celebrities), with many of his long-standing colleagues appearing in various sketches. Notably, David Cann (who also featured as the doctor in Jam) makes a couple of hilarious appearances, as NASA spokesman Ripp Candy ("I believe the technical term is a bully-ramming") and as a headmaster who promotes the use of drugs.

A number of the stunts attempted for the show did not come off as planned, in some cases a few seconds of footage from various escapades are shown during the titles. One story goes that Morris and a small crew were interviewing a right-wingMP about asylum seekers and immigration (which the MP had typically bigotted views about). During the interview, they stop to apply make-up to Morris and the MP. The MP is unwittingly "blacked-up" - but unfortunately the assembled crew can't hide their mirth as Morris procedes with the interview, and the MP rushes to the toilet to find a mirror, while everyone else makes a hasty getaway!

Due to extensive amounts of red tape (understandable when you consider the large variety of celebrities who appear, almost invariably approached under false pretenses), the show will never be released on video. This is a great shame, but maybe one day the whole thing will appear on DVD, hopefully with cut and censored material restored. It truly is a milestone in British comedy and should be viewed by everyone at the earliest possible juncture.

Update: In July 2001, E4 showed the entire series as "Brass Eye Night". These versions of the shows were uncut, with extensive new material in the final show, "Moral Decline", including the infamous Sutcliffe : The Musical section. On the 26th of July, Channel Four screened an all-new Brass Eye Special on the topic of Paedophilia. It was superb.

Update: As of May 2002, the collected Brass Eye (all 6 episodes and the 2001 special) can be purchased on DVD and video. Highly recommended.

Paedogeddon

Last month the notorious paedophile Sidney Cook was blasted into space to spend the rest of his life aboard a one man prison vessel, posing no further threat to children on earth. But it was revealed that an eight year old boy was also placed on board by mistake and is now trapped alone in space with the monster. A spokesman said "This is the one thing we didn't want to happen".

A Brass Eye Special, by Chris Morris, certainly the most debated program on British television this year. And for a number of years.
Noted for duping celebraties, Richard Blackwood, a comedian, said 'Paedophiles can make your keyboard release toxic vapours', as well as explaining that affected children could smell of hammers. But they did get the MP to talk about 'an area of the Internet the size of Ireland', and another MP to say that a dog's eye (on the screen) had been cunningly converted into a webcam.

A presenter on Tomorrows World, a programme about current technology, was convinced to talk about tshirts which could convince children that the wearer was another child, a different presenter discussed the dangers of HOECS games (say it), a distinguished reporter told how paedophiles could manipulate children's bodies through the soft screen of a laptop.

The best quote from 'Paedopeddon', a Brass Eye Special has to be from DJ 'Dr. Fox', who told us that:

Genetically, paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.

and

This is a crab, this... this has sex with kids.

As Phil Collins might say: "I'm talking Nonce Sense", whilst pointing to his t-shirt. Too right you are, mate, nonsense is exactly what's coming out of all of your mouths...

But all these duped celebrities don't show the main thrust of the program - to expose the way that the media jumps on the Paedophile Problem to sell papers or promote their programme. Whilst the program was a perfect spoof of many 'current affairs' programmes, the furore it caused was amazing, and proved Chris Morris' point precisely.

All the major tabloids came out against the programme in their strongest terms possible. Unfortunately, one paper put it on the facing page to a picture of Charlotte Church, a 15 year old singer which referred to the size of her breasts, and another in the same paper as pictures of the young royal princesses (young teenagers) in their swimsuits.

MPs came out against it, the culture secretary, Beverley Hughes, decried it, but stated she hadn't actually seen it.1

Cook'd and Bomb'd used to be the definitive source of Chris Morris foo, but it's been taken down due to legal problems (most of Chris Morris' programs were available in DivX format, for those who wished to see those roboplegic wrongcocks for themselves from other countries, and who missed the broadcast)