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SEEING RED A man faking blindness for disability benefits in Sapporo, Japan, filed a claim with police saying he had been "run over by a red car." A HANGIN' OFFENSEIn Berlin, a man who hid a stolen suit under his clothes was caught because he forgot to take it off the hanger. A HIGH PRICE TOUPEE In Saitama, Japan, a man was arrested for trespassing after he turned up at a high school dressed in a girl's uniform and a long wig, police said. The 39-year-old man told police he'd put the uniform on to take a stroll near the school, but when students started screaming at the sight of him, he dashed inside the school, hoping to blend in with the students. They also screamed, forcing the man to flee, losing his wig in the process. ANY MORE COMPLAINTS?In Anderson County, S.C., Charles Chadwick, upset that the police had seized almost $2,000 of his money in a previous drug bust, drove to the sheriff's office to complain. While he was there, one of the officers noticed a screwdriver sticking out of the ignition of Chadwick's car. After investigating, the officer discovered the car was stolen. Chadwick's back in jail. Likeyz.In Sheboygan, Wis., a man who ran from a department store with a stolen jacket was called by police to come in for an interview, which he did... wearing the stolen jacket. FINGER MANA man walked into a convenience store near Daytona Beach, Fla., stuck out his hand with his index finger pointing like a gun and ordered the clerk to empty the cash register. SPORK IT OVER!In Anchorage, Alaska, a 52-year-old man was arrested after he slashed a man with a spork while trying to rob him.

POLANDIn Sosnowiec, a 61-year-old man who was tired of vandals destroying his neighborhood bus stop pasted a notice on the pavement near the stop that read: "Dear Vandals -- please stop destroying the bus stop." In the middle of the job, however, he was arrested for vandalism. WALESTwo Star Wars-loving brothers say they're starting a Jedi church, with services that will include sermons on The Force, lightsaber training and meditation techniques. THE U.S.A.In Mississippi, state legislators proposed a new bill that would make it illegal for restaurants to serve obese customers. Said one of the bill's backers: "No one's doing anything about (the obesity problem). They just keep on going to the buffets and eating." RUSSIACare workers say a 7-year-old "bird boy" they found living in a tiny apartment in Kirovsky sur-rounded by cages containing dozens of birds does not understand any human language and communicates instead by chirping and flapping his arms. A social worker said the boy was treated like another pet by his mother, who never spoke to him. "When you start talking to him, he chirps," she said. ENGLANDLloyd's of London insured the nose of a leading wine maker and taster for $7.9 million. MACEDONIAIn Bitola, a bear who kept stealing honey from a bee-keeper's hives was convicted of theft and criminal damage. The court found that, since the bear, who was not in court, has no owner, the state must pay the $3,400 in damages it caused. ITALYAfter dating for 55 years, a 101-year-old man is set to marry his 98-year-old girlfriend. Said the woman, "We have only been together for 50 years. That may be a bit quick but then again you are only young once." IVORY COASTWomen in the country are using creams and injections to enlarge their buttocks in reaction to the craze for the "big-bottom dance." THE U.S.A.In Kingsport, Tenn., the subject of a "drunk pedestrian" call was tracked to a Hardee's restaurant, where he was found face-down in a plate of gravy.