Giving your speech a meaty middle

Wedding speech material for you to adapt, for when you need juicy fillings to pep up your speech sandwich

Aaaah…

Something sentimental, without being too gushy, can be a nice touch…

‘To have joy one must share it. Happiness was born a twin.’ (Lord Byron)

‘Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, just as the wind blows out a candle and fans a fire.’ (La Rochefoucauld)

‘Do not be afraid to love these days. Take them gently and with a consideration for eternity, but take them as your own. Have patience with your dreams and the expectations that you have, but do not defer all hope to the future for there are only so many tomorrows.’ (Brian Baron)

‘Keep your minds set on the future, your memories planted in the past, and always your hearts where they are right at this moment.’ (Anon)

Religious references

‘Thankfully our hosts, unlike those at the wedding feast at Canaan, haven’t insisted on saving the best wine till last! Though looking at one or two of you, I’m not sure you’d notice the difference…’

‘In the words of St Paul: “Forgive each other as soon as a quarrel begins.” Which is God’s way of saying: never to go to sleep on an argument…’

‘As the Bible says: “Who so findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.” Now when I look at Jane, I can’t help thinking: What a complete understatement!’

‘When God created man and woman in his own image, we’re told “he blessed them and said: ‘Be fruitful and increase…'” Now whatever did He mean by that?’

‘St Paul advises us that “a husband must love his wife as he loves himself”. Now if Jerry can pull THAT off, then Penny’ll be a really lucky gal…’

Jokes

‘Sam and Sally are very different wines: Sam gets better with age, whereas Sally just gets drunk.’

‘Bob used to do 40 push‐ups every morning to make sure he could keep up with Kirsty. Now he needs 40 winks to keep up with her.’

‘Paula is busy making their new home comfortable, although Mark told me he’s quite happy with his chair in the King’s Head.’

‘There are three kinds of wedding ring: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer‐ring!!’

‘How many bridesmaids does it take to change a light bulb? Five, one to yank it out of the socket and chuck it, and four to squabble over who’s going to catch it.’

Observations

‘Some say that star‐sign compatibility is the secret of a happy marriage. But I don’t really believe in all that stuff ‐ which is unusual for a Scorpio…’

‘Some (single) people think that marriage will limit them or hold them back. But look at James and Katie today, and you see two people whose lives have expanded and flourished in every way since they got together…’

‘My Gran, who’s been married 50 years, says the secret of a successful is “give and take”. I said: ‘You mean 50:50?’ She said: “NO! You’ve both got to give 110 per cent!’

‘A happy marriage is a wonderful illustration of that timeless truth: it’s better to give than to receive.’

Quips

‘Confucius, I believe, said something very significant about the meaning of marriage. But it was in Chinese so I’m afraid I didn’t understand it.’