Sunday, February 9, 2014

I guess at this point it's been over a year since I've posted a new blog. Last time it was six months, this time it's a year. My old posts were just so good that I had to give you a break. I got too many calls from the police asking me to stop being so funny, so I had to space my posts out like this. Something like that. I don't know.

Anyway, a lot has happened in the last year. I started working more, started some new bands/projects, got my pharmacy tech certification out of the way, got my lip smashed open with a golf ball, was engaged, got a new job, became single again, ran for state senate, found the ark of the covenant... wait... well... yeah, that sounds about right.

My biggest/stupidest hobby I've started in the last few months is sending people dumb pictures and videos of my added dialogue on advertisements. This is how I keep myself entertained. I'll just give some examples.
This is one of the first ones I did:

This one is probably pretty close to what she's really thinking:

A lot of them actually aren't dialogue, just the noises I imagine that they're making. I basically imagine things like this all day, which means I look insane at work all the time.

Like this guy, making his first awful album:

Or this kid, who probably killed his parents during this photoshoot:

Or this exclusive look at the new Kiss album:

Then there's just the stupid pictures of things I see in ads/stores:

Last year's Dog A Day calendar was fun too:

This one's unrelated, but also important:

So, I should add this to my resume and put it at the top of an online dating profile, right? This is a really good skill to have... isn't it?
Here's the rest of my best attributes:

1. I have all my own teeth, as well as the teeth of my enemies.
2. I have never stolen a dead body from the morgue.
...or at least gotten caught trying to.
3. I can lift a watermelon.
6. I can eat food without a bib sometimes.
3. My table manners are almost as good as a squirrel's.
0. I say excuse me when I'm alone in a room and fart or burp.
10. I can make lists.
Q. I used to receive CD's for beta versions of AOL that my computer was too old to run.
&!. Sometimes, I can eat a lot of food.
27. I have the internet.

That's a good list. Probably. I'll just sit here and wait to be attacked by women.

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Well, I guess it might take a few minutes for people to read it.

I can't really think of anything else I needed to post for the time being, so I'll just leave you with this:

Wait... one more thing.

I have decided that Little Caesars needs to rename Crazy Bread to Dippy Dings. I've even made a commercial for them and everything!

About Me

Ian Covelli is an audio engineer and musician in Illinois in the band CrankPope, as well as the solo projects Satan's Basement, The Astronaut King, and DJ Fartbot. Other bands and collaborations have included "Suffering Luna with The Astronuat King," Torpedo Minefield, DJ Fartbot Vs Kirche Gothika, NoComply (2008-2013), and The Violent Sheep (2005?-2006?).