I could scream. Seriously. My beach body secret: 1. take body, and 2. go to beach. Ta-da! I LOVE the beach. Love it. Kind of a bummer for a desert-dweller, no? Well, it’s a good excuse for a vacation. . . or 6!

Am I bikini-ready? Of course, I carry one in my purse just in case! Oh, wait, you were referring to my ass, my cellulite, my muffin top? Huh?

you know i am all about eating well, exercising, and being fit, but can we please stop with this nonsense? every spring, like clockwork, it’s the cover story across the board (fitness, shape, self, special k commercials, women’s health, natural health, friggin’ yoga journal??). 4 weeks to bikini! and you know what? that means it’s not sustainable. do you still have your beach body from last year? where’d it go? maybe if the focus was on feeling awesome, rather than on the bikini, you’d keep it up after labor day. you want to get more fit, awesome! but i really wish it wasn’t because you don’t feel like you can go to the beach the way you are.

but fitness and health goals aside, it’s really the language that bothers me. where did this idea come from that you have to have a certain kind of body to be fit for the beach? do dudes care this much? the press, and as a result, a lot of us, have a hard time separating appearance, health, fitness, and body image. we’re confused, and sort of neurotic! Let’s work on the words, shall we? Cellulite Thighs Belly Fat Ugh Repeat after me: “I feel great.” “I’m getting stronger.” “I have great energy.” “Let’s swim/play volleyball/surf/sleep/walk/do cartwheels!”

Happy summer, now go to the beach– in the body you have now! (And please wear sunscreen).