YOU’RE DOWN TO THE WIRE AND YOU DIDN’T GET A GIFT FOR YOUR SWEETIE

If you really messed up and need a Valentine’s gift and every store is closed, your last options are a CVS, ShopRite and if you’re lucky, the classic 7-Eleven. Here we list off some options, so you don’t need to think too hard. Don’t be afraid of the White Trash option, if only for one year!

CVS HAS A LOT OF KITCH OPTIONS THAT MAY PLEASE YOUR PARTNER

Starting off with your CVS options, a box of chocolates will cost you $5.49. Pair that with a card, and you might survive your year. If you don’t want to get too fancy, this box will cost you only $2.79. They are filled with cordial cherries and lots of preservatives. You can get your partner drunk on chemicals and have your way with her or him. And hopefully they won’t remember you spent $2.79 on them in 2018. That’s getting paid on the cheap.

GIVE THE GIFT OF BEAUTY

The beauty gift options are scarce and there are not many for men. For the woman in your life you can get her some nail polish. It’ll cost you $18.50, which is a rip off. But when you’re desperate and want to avoid the wrath of a woman scorned, it may be your only option. CVS also sells a Burt’s Bees Tips and Toes Kit for $9.97. It’s cute, if your partner is sixteen, but also better than nothing if your kisses stink. For the guy in your life, L’Homme parfum spray will run you $79.99. It’s a pricier CVS option, but a nice gesture. But men seem to be less complicated when it comes to commercial celebrations.’

AND THEN THERE IS ALWAYS 7-ELEVEN

Your local 7-Eleven may have some options in-store if you’re lucky. You can always get creative with Slurpees. The large will cost you about $2.35. Get the large to be safe. They have many flavors such as Sour Patch Kids Watermelon, Wild Cherry and Pina Colada. You can get two Blue Raspberry Slurpees, show off your blue tongues and then get on your blue sheets, if you know what I mean. I bet 7-Eleven never expected that.

GO WITH THE WHITE TRASH VALENTINE THIS YEAR

Who doesn’t like a white trash Valentine’s day? And you can refer to it like that. Hey sweetie, remember Vday 2018, our White Trash Valentine’s day? Let’s do it again, but now with Wild Cherry because “it’s the crazy cherry flavor you mixed with the icy embrace of refreshment that you love” and I love you, kind of deal. See? It’s getting crazy. But it’s not Valentine’s day yet. So, keep your pants on.

SHOPRITE HAS CREATIVE OPTIONS THAT WILL PUT YOU TO WORK

Your grocery store may sell flowers. If so, then home run for you. If not, you may want to locate their veggie section and buy some beets. Beets are a beautiful shade of red. Peel them, and cut them into hearts. Put them on a salad and voila, you made him or her a Valentine’s dinner with the day’s theme. This is a recipe suggested on a ShopRite site. You’ll need a pile of ingredients and some time, but it may be worth it. Pick up some strawberries and chocolate. Melt the chocolate and dip the strawberries in the chocolate. Refrigerate – and there is another save ladies and gentlemen. ShopRite also suggests creating a cheese board and using the phrase “Brie My Valentine”.

DON’T WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE NEXT YEAR

If you are good with paper, make an origami heart, or a crane or box. If you make a box, make sure to put something in it, perhaps a note that says “I love you and Valentine’s day sucks!”. But despite that, you have some more options from CVS, ShopRite and Seven Eleven. Or, if you’re really creative with a box, you can do what Justin Timberlake did….