Jordan Sargent

The customer is always right — unless the customer is a person that wants to put ketchup on his Philly cheesesteak. Because, what the fuck? This is an indisputable fact backed up by sandwich artist Lawrence Ordone, pictured at left, who was fired from a Subway in Orange County, Fla. — side note: Florida!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — after refusing to put ketchup on a cheesesteak ordered by Luis Martinez, pictured at right. Then Ordone kicked over a chair and tried to fight him.

Since the quotes from this story are so good, I'm just going to tell it oral history style (#longread).

"American cheese, onions and ketchup," said Martinez.

"He wants ketchup on the Philly cheese steak and I have never put — we don't even have ketchup at Subway — I've never put ketchup on anybody's sandwich," said Ordone.

NOTE: At this point, Ordone says Martinez starts "mouthing off."

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"That's when I flew off the handle," said Ordone.

"He shoved a chair to the side, like knocked it down to come at me, and I said, 'This is going to be serious,'" said Martinez.

"I said, 'Let's go, fight me like a man,'" said Ordone.

"I was scared. Next thing, I'm thinking a gun's going to come out," said Martinez

"He threatened to kill me in front of my wife," said Martinez.

"There's ketchup three aisles down. You can go buy your own ketchup, and I promise to God, you can put as much as you want on it and nobody's going to say nothing," said Ordone.

Let's read that final quote one more time and let its glory wash over us.

"There's ketchup three aisles down. You can go buy your own ketchup, and I promise to God, you can put as much as you want on it and nobody's going to say nothing," said Ordone.

This is the type of action this country needs. If you see someone ordering ketchup on a cheesesteak, forget everything you know. Be a hero. A hero like Lawrence Ordone.