In the past few weeks I have been getting an increasing amount of email asking for my advice on starting your own blogs and/or FB pages. I have answered many individually. I AM DOING MY BEST. But I just cannot get to them all. Even if I did a cut and paste. I don’t know where you all came from all of the sudden, but I am overwhelmed! I am, however, super thrilled that so many of you have been asking MY advice. Seriously? What. The. Frick. But whatever the reasons, you ARE asking me. And I hope you don’t take offense that I am now going to answer the remainder of you with this post, instead of personally. I usually pride myself on answering all of my email. Even when buried in a virtual avalanche of it. Unless you’re crazy and ask for pictures of my boobs. But honestly, I HAVE been answering a few of those lately, due to the fact that sometimes people who are so stupid as to ask for pictures of your boobs, forget to add the “your” part and just say “Do you have any boob pictures?” to which I reply “Yes” and send photos of various man boobs or something along those lines. Anyway, in this case it just seems easier to write a short list on this here blog-o-mine to answer your questions all at once. I am sure that there are much more seasoned “writers” to ask besides me, however, I DO have a list of things I would like to offer you. This list is just how I choose to roll. Others may disagree. But they are probably morons. P.S. That moron thing was a joke. Scratch that “probably” part. They ARE morons.P.P.S. That was a joke too.

I chose this photo cuz I look all totally thinky and stuff.

Here are my freaking tips: 1. Be yourself. 2. Don’t make stuff up. Even some of the world’s most stupid people can tell when you are full of shit, and if they can’t tell then would you really want them as your readers? Some people can take a story about going to the grocery store and make it the funniest thing you have ever read, even if nothing that amazing happened. It’s all about how they write. I know a few bloggers like that and they amaze me endlessly. They don’t add things to the story to make it more exciting, they just tell the story with exciting language and tell it well. 3. Don’t over embellish the story either. Embellish the language to make the story more exciting, but leave the details as close to the truth as you can. If you can’t do that, then make your blog a “fiction” or “Semi-Fictitious” blog. Don’t try to pass it off as true life stuff when it’s not. 4. Be yourself. 5. Don’t let negative feedback get you down. 6. BUT if you get LOTS of negative feedback, try to take a step back and look at things and make sure that you aren’t acting like a tool. 7. Post what YOU like. You will find YOUR people that way. 8. Be yourself. 9. Don’t try too hard. No over-thinking your FB posts or blog posts. Just let it flow. If it doesn’t flow, step away from the computer. Try not to post just to fill space. Post something that means something to you. Even if it’s a little tidbit from your day that seems silly at the time. People actually connect to that.10. Don’t worry about “The numbers”. Those things come in their own sweet time. Worry about your content. Worry about being open. Worry about being true to yourself and not pretending to be someone else. THE NUMBERS DON’T MATTER. You can have a million Likes on a FB page, and only a hundred people interacting with you. Or you could have 500 likes and nearly all of those interacting and feeling like you are friends. Shoot for that. It’s more meaningful. THOSE are the people who will promote you and get to know you and actually care if you went away.11. Be yourself.12. Respect your readers. They are there because they like you. Don’t fuck that up by being a douche-nugget. 13. Don’t bug other FB pages to “Pimp” you. Interact with other pages if you want to get noticed. Be witty and fun. Include yourself in the conversations on threads. DO NOT over-post on bigger pages looking for attention. The pages know what you are up to and it’s annoying to them and sad looking for you. Post on pages you like and just post things that are actually conversational and pertain to what is going on. If you have content that people relate to, your likes and “pimpings” will come with time. Don’t look for shortcuts.14. Likewise, don’t expect your blog to hit it big overnight. I wrote to about 200 people for months, and before I had a blog I just wrote oddball emails to my friends, and then those friends told me to blog, so I listened, but I did so sorta unwillingly considering I am lazy and stuff. Blogging is just writing stuff to your friends on a bigger scale. Pretend you are still writing to you friends and be authentic. Your new followers will come with time. Let it happen organically. If you are good, word spreads. Don’t stress it. 15. Don’t write for attention. Yes, Facebook pages and blogs get attention. But don’t make that your main purpose. Write your truth. Even if it’s goofy truth. It doesn’t have to be deep, but it does have to be true for people to connect with you. And with personal connection come the loyal fans. If you are a mystery to people, you leave tomorrow and they don’t care. You don’t have to tell everything about your personal life, either. Perky page? Keep it perky. Just because you blog does not mean that your life is an open book. You don’t have to tell EVERYTHING about yourself. But what you DO choose to tell, tell the truth about it.16. Be yourself.17. Try to interract. Read all comments. Try to respond when you can. At the very least, click “like” so your readers know that you cared enough to read what they cared enough to write. Get involved in the conversation that YOU started in the first place by posting a status or a picture. Try to answer email. Be available. 18. Share your limelight. Link other blogs on your blog. On your FB page, promote pages that you like and actually read. Don’t promote pages that you don’t read. They could be total crap. If you are telling your fans to go to there, make sure that “there” is a good place to be.19. Try to ignore your stats. They are sooooo up and down. Write what you live. Write what’s in your head. Don’t worry about your freaking stats. Once you start to write only for attention instead of for fun, you’re losing the whole point of writing in the first place. 20 Be yourself.

I really, really love this. It is the most superbest, excellential and brilliantish advice you could ever give misssmartypantsmombrain! Sound advice right here, I tell ya … Sound. Advice. listen to her peeps. Fer serious.

So. Freaking. Weird. I was actually thinking all week about asking you the same question! Thanks for the great advice! I do have a favor to ask of you though…for those of us who have never done this, could you help with the technical side of this? Where do you actually begin a blog, how do you set up the FB page and connect to the blog, etc. Like a BLOGGING FOR DUMMIES course from you! LOL!

And it was already staring everyone in the face. And you won the staring contest. Nailed on. I’m also really terrified i got douchenugget from you. I called my husband one in a mini blog last week. Maybe you copied from me. Sometimes the world is awesome like that. But less usual than sometimes. Is douchemorsal taken? If not, that one IS mine. But you can have it. I hope people heed this blog: be.yourself. People will know if you are or arent. Sorry for turning your comment section into my own blog.

I write tons of blogs in my head, they just never seem to make it to the computer these days. So I just read and relate to the wonderful bloggers that I have recently found. Geesh , I just noticed I need to clean this keyboard,.. yuck

Thanks for giving a hand up to us hoors who are just starting 🙂 Sometimes I don’t know WTF to write about, annnnnnnnd that’s just about the time I let one of my later egos do it for me. Between the 3 of us, we get shit done!

Ha! I finally found this post again! About a month ago I read the first few paragraphs and was like THIS IS WHAT I NEED TO READ and then I got distracted and wandered away from the computer and my husband stole the computer and closed my windows. And I couldn’t remember who’s blog-post I was reading and couldn’t find it again! Grrr.

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom!! I have gotten extremely positive feedback on my (very new) blog, but yes I look at stats (obsessively … maybe) to the point that I’ve thought about constructing posts from the standpoint of ‘how much traffic will this generate’ instead of ‘do I really have something to say about this?’ I’m not gonna do that… I’m not I’m not I’m not. 🙂

repeat yourself – could be one more to add.Good tips. I don’t know if non-bloggers will understand #10. A community does form and those “following” numbers don’t mean much because it’s the comment/sharing interaction that really counts. My blog grew slowing than most I think. I didn’t put it out in the sun much.

I basically just facebook-stalkered your blog due to my boredom & you being fantastic. I’m so glad I ran across this post because it saves me from asking your advice and you copy/pasting your post into an email reply. Yay for creeper-in & super duper advice!!

Im SO GLAD I READ THIS. Id prolly have loads of fun with a blog. BUT THATS NOT WHY IM GLAD. CUZ LATELY…YIKEZOIDS!!! I have TOTALLY sensed that I was doin a BIG FAT FB NONO by yakkin it WAY UP on some..mmk..like ALOT of ur fb posts. I wasnt sure. SO!! I am SUPER DUPER SORRY BOUT THAT!! I hafta try REALLY hard to put the SIMPLE BRIEF thing in my BRAIN down on a status, paper, outta my danged LONGWINDRD MOUTH…IT MAKES ME CRAZY!! I totally know its my adhd brain AND MY MOUTHWORDS NOT COOPERATING LIKE A TEAM!! So…again. Sorry..wasSOOOOO NOT tryin to pimp myself or be a pagehog. I will TRY HARDCORE FOR BREVITY…KNOCK.ON.FKN.WOOD. SHTFK..I couldnt even do the BRIEF thing HERE! W.T.F. Much LOVE!!

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