Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Forget the polls that show Barack Hussein Obama with the lowest approval ratings at this point of any American President in recorded history.

Here is what I have heard on the streets of Chicago and Evanston:

-- A very animated Irish 20-something guy was in front of the Whole Foods on Chicago Avenue in downtown Evanston 2 Saturdays ago collecting signatures to get his wife on the ballot as an Obama delegate to the Democrat National convention. He was good looking, engaging and had an endearing smile.

He was striking out a lot.

Ultra-liberal Evanston went more than 70% for Obama, last time and Whole Foods generally attracts a health-oriented, lefty crowd.

I asked him "How're you doing?" He replied -- "Holy shit -- this is a rough crowd -- even our people seem to be pissed off at Obama."

--- I ran into Charles, a well spoken, well attired -- but with a slight growth of beard -- black man in the Starbucks on Main St. in Evanston yesterday. He was reading -- I was on my laptop. We began chatting and it turned out that we knew a lot of the same guys from our same era who had played sports on the North Shore.

He told me -- "Do you know 30% of the men in the US are unemployed today --the men --what does that say for our future?" he said. "I don't care what they say -- Obama and all the rest of them have just totally screwed up," he said.

--- I ran into Kenny -- a 53 year old black guy with a glass eye. He was coming outside of the McDonald's on Dempster and Dodge in Evanston. He asked me for a light. I asked him for a cigarette. He split his in half and we both smoked.

He told me tht he had worked for a black entreprenuer, who owned an auto repair shop on Main, near McCormick for more than 30 years. He just went out of business -- Kenny lost his job -- the entrepreneur is now driving a bus for $8 per hour, Kenny said.

"I don't care what they say about Obama being a black man and all that," he said. "This guy has totally fucked us all up."

A Word From The Publisher:

About The Chicago Lampoon

Chicago is a very funny city.

In fact, it is a windswept glacial burg that is the source of a never-ending supply of knee-slappers and outright horselaughs.

From the neophyte community organizer that it foisted on an unsuspecting American electorate to the mop-topped sociopathic boy-Governor that it sent to the Letterman show, to its storied depression era, tommy-gun toting philanthropists, it has produced some truly amusing and amazing characters.

It has a Mayor who is a former ballet dancer, who served in a foreign army and who threatens political enemies by sending them dead fish in the mail. It has 50 sleepy Alderman and 5, usually somnolent professional sports franchises

It has two Jesse Jacksons!

It has more potholes per capita than Nairobi, a creaky 1940s-era elevated train system and cops who get caught on videotape punching out bar maids and businessmen.

As we have since 2009, we are only going to report and comment on what actually happens in Chicago. To make up stuff this weird would tax our inventive capabilities to the limit (or at least as high as the, highest-in-the-nation, Cook County sales taxes.)

Meet The Editors

We're somewhere between Burkean conservatives and bomb throwing anarchists depending on the mood of the moment and the amount of restorative libation we have recently consumed.
But we're usually able to couch our maunderings in some pretty good journalistic prose.