A backstage shot of the D’Angelos—mom Francesca, son Mario and father Roberto—as they receive applause following their talk at TEDGlobal 2013. Photo: Ryan Lash

Francesca Fedeli had a hard pregnancy. But she and her husband, Roberto D’Angelo, thought they were in the clear when their son, Mario, was born in January 2011 and seemed healthy.
Roberto D'Angelo + Francesca Fedeli: In our baby's illness, a life lesson
However, just 10 days later, Mario was diagnosed as having had a perinatal stroke. The right side of his brain was damaged, leaving him unable to move the left side of his body.

In Wednesday’s shockingly honest talk, the pair express what went through their minds as they adjusted to this development. “We weren’t ready,” says Roberto D’Angelo in this talk, given at TED University during TEDGlobal 2013. “Nobody teaches [you] how to deal with such disabilities.”

The D’Angelos struggled with depression as they proceeded with physical rehabilitation for Mario, including mirror neuron therapy, in which they modeled for their son how to use objects, on the theory that watching them would help Mario build those neural pathways for himself. (Read more about mirror neuron rehabilitation.) But they soon realized Mario was mirroring not just their motions, but their emotions as well.

“We were looking at him as a problem, not from a positive perspective,” says D’Angelo in a very tender moment. “That day really changed our perspective. We realized we had to become a better mirror for Mario.”

Check out these other talks about parents faced with impossible circumstances and what helped them get through.

Dr. Benjy Secklerat TEDxBerkshires: Fighting Duchenne muscular dystrophy for my son
In this talk, Dr. Benjy Seckler introduces us to his 11-year-old son, Charley, who writes his own Mad Libs and makes brisket paninis. Charley has Duchenne muscular dystrophy, a disease that affects boys, breaking down their muscle function to the point where they lose the ability to walk by adolescence and die in their late teens or early twenties. (Read about TED Fellow Darius Weems, who also suffers from the disease.) Seckler knows that the statistics on the disease are paralyzing — and yet he and his family decided to take action. In this talk, Seckler shares why they started Charley’s Fund, which supports promising clinical trials for drugs that could improve muscle strength for kids like Charley.

9/11 healing: The mothers who found forgiveness, friendship
Phyllis Rodriguez and Aicha el-Wafi are two mothers who were both deeply affected by 9/11. Rodriguez lost her son in the attacks on the World Trade Center. Meanwhile, el-Wafi’s son was convicted of playing a role in the terrorist act. The two here share their unusual friendship, struck up when Rodriguez and her family spoke out against the death penalty for el-Wafi’s son. He is now serving life in prison.

Leilani Schweitzer at TEDxUniversityofNevada: Transparency, compassion and truth in medical errors
Leilani Schweitzer lost her 20-month-old son after a series of medical mistakes—ending with a nurse who turned off his medical alarms, hoping that it might help him sleep. In this talk from TEDxUniversityofNevada, she points out a paradox—that patients and their families want the human element when it means kindness, but not when it means errors. She lays out a different way that hospitals can handle tragic mistakes like this—with transparency, compassion and the truth about what happened, rather than bunkering down to avoid a lawsuit. She asks: could this help heal our medical system and help avoid future errors?

Cheryl Kilodavis at TEDxSanJoaquin: My princess boy
And to end this playlist on a lighter note, Cheryl Kilodavis’ son Dyson loves wearing dresses, adores the color pink and wants to be a princess. While her initial reaction to her son’s preferences was to push back and encourage him to play with trucks, she eventually realized: she had to accept him. Since then, she has written a book, My Princess Boy, encouraging parents to accept different gendered behavior in their kids. In this talk, she asks: why are we so scared of difference, and how can parents transcend those knee-jerk reactions?

]]>http://blog.ted.com/7-talks-from-parents-facing-difficult-circumstances-with-bravery/feed/3D'Angelos-and-TG2013katetedWhat are mirror neurons? Further reading on the neurotherapy described in today’s talkhttp://blog.ted.com/what-are-mirror-neurons-further-reading-on-the-neurotherapy-described-in-todays-talk/
http://blog.ted.com/what-are-mirror-neurons-further-reading-on-the-neurotherapy-described-in-todays-talk/#commentsWed, 24 Jul 2013 17:34:09 +0000http://blog.ted.com/?p=80312[…]]]>

When Roberto D’Angelo and Francesca Fideli discovered that their 10-day-old son, Mario, had suffered a stroke, they were shocked. Maria was unable to control the left side of his body and, to help their son, they opted to participate in a pilot program for mirror neuron rehabilitation. As they explain in the talk
Roberto D'Angelo + Francesca Fedeli: In our baby's illness, a life lesson
, mirror neuron therapy involved showing Mario objects and demonstrating how to pick them up and use them. As D’Angelo explains, “The theory of mirror neuron says that, in your brain, as you watch me do this, you are activating exactly the same neurons as if you do the actions.”

This therapy led to a discovery: Mario was mirroring his parents’ emotions as much as he was mirroring their physical movements. Their solution: to couple a positive attitude with cutting-edge neurotherapy. Their story culminates with an inspirational message about the importance of positivity and optimism in confronting challenges.

Interested in hearing more about mirror neurons? Below, some resources for further information on the science behind the D’Angelo’s inspiring story.

Research and writing about mirror neurons has exploded since 2005, when the team of researchers from Italy’s University of Parma made a series of breakthroughs to understand the function of mirror neurons in humans. This article from the American Psychological Association is one of the first to explain the importance of mirror neurons in detail..

NOVA’s explanatory video on mirror neurons outlines the basic thinking behind how these cells work. Scientific findings suggest that the neurons that fire in our brain when we are physically performing an action are the same neurons that fire when we observe someone else doing the same action. This explains why we feel pain when watching someone get smacked in the face with a frisbee, or why we feel sad when watching Meryl Streep weigh Sophie’s choice. Mirror neurons raise fascinating questions about learned human behavior..

Developing research on mirror neurons brings us one step closer to understanding the way our brains function when processing information and experiencing empathy. This overview of current research from Scientific American provides an update on the current understanding of mirror neurons, and what work still needs to be done..

Mirroring Peopleis the first book written in layman’s terms about the incredible science of mirror neurons. Marco Iacoboni, a leading expert in the field, explains the incredible impact that this neurological wiring has on our social interactions and our capacity to understand each other’s emotions. He argues that mirror neurons are central to our basic functionality, and to the shape of our morality, politics and relationships..

This conversation between Iacoboni and the Dalai Lama raises fascinating questions. Iacoboni’s sharp scientific mind mixes with the Dalai Lama’s reflections on spirituality to probe into the inner-workings of our mind, body and soul. The conversation explores the human tendency to make bad decisions and engage in negative behaviors, and offers hopeful recourse to address these actions..

TED speaker VS Ramachandran is one of the leading researchers on mirror neurons. His talk from TEDIndia 2009 outlines some of the most controversial and radical thinking on the importance of mirror neurons in our individual and human development...

Mirror neurons even play an important role in watching sports. The rush of excitement and adrenaline you feel right after Lionel Messi scores, or the feeling in the pit of your stomach when LeBron’s shot bounces off the rim might be your mirror neurons firing. This article from Grantland offers concrete examples and explanations for some of the most common sensations experienced by sports fans everywhere..

And finally, this interview with VS Ramachandranat Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center updates his work on the connection between empathy and mirror neurons. His cutting-edge research might offer some concrete evidence to support the D’Angelos’ optimistic philosophy.