Our Backyard Fort Rules

An update on our backyard fort, also known as where most of you are moving according to your comments on my first fort post, is long overdue.

We framed it.

Fists Up!

Put up a roof.

We even included skylights.

Nailed up walls.

With hand cut windows.

And added a mofo twisty camouflage slide.

The slide is not yet safe for adults, which makes it even cooler

Although we aren’t finished yet, I feel confident enough to say: Bring it zombie, apocalyptic, global warming insanity. We will happily welcome you to the coolest house on the block that we built with our bare hands of awesomeness. And by “we” I mean mostly Scott and the kids while I cheer from inside because if I could, I’d become a shut-in.

PS. I’ll let you know when we’re done so you can apply to our neighborhood association of one. There are a lot of questions on survival skill sets and how much you talk — not because we have anything to hide but because we’re all stocked up on chatty here.

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-age children, 1 foster baby, 4 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

12 thoughts on “Our Backyard Fort Rules”

We have to put a curtain in the front and a railing for safety for other kids (and so I stop having heart attacks when mine go to the edge). We need to add small sections of the roof so it doesn’t leak (where the big pieces join together). We need to decorate the inside with coolness. There are probably a few other things that I don’t know because I’m not really building it at all. Haha.

1) the roof would cave in under the weight of a child 2) the high voltage lines are at least 20 feet away (the walls and roof pictures are optical illusion) 3) the one closer line is a single low voltage line (phone line) going from the telephone pole to the house 4) my husband does plan to trim back the crepe myrtle since the kids climb from the fort to the tree would be dangerous.

Yay! I can stop being paranoid AND grumpy (or at least one or the other). I don’t even know why I brought up power lines. I mean, you have it all figured out. I can’t even build a box, meanwhile you guys are building a guest house in the backyard. Who ever came up with that saying, “There are no stupid questions,” just hasn’t met me yet. I am out to prove that person wrong if it is the last thing I do!

We have a fortish type play structure in our backyard that David built, but our slide is not all twisty… and we don’t have walls. He put my daughter’s playhouse up there instead. Although… both of my kids are kind of growing out of that. I may talk to him about adding walls. This looks pretty fantastic.

1) I can be silent for hours. 2) I know how to cook some things, like grits and coffee, over an open fire. 3) I played softball as a child, and have some sturdy bats (to replace the cricket bats, if need be).