Saturday, June 10, 2006

The good ones always get away 5 minutes before you're ready to invest...

Viscerally, getting ready to walk up steps that lead to the beginning of the end of your naturally born life. You don't get nervous but your heart does increasing ever so slightly above it's normal pace as if to tell you it likes this feeling so don't fuck it up. Looking around furiously, lording over all infront of you you wait to begin. Your intsrument in your hand, the swirling cacophony behind you beginning to build, you are centered and comfortable. You start to accept and become. It doesn't take long to make your decisions. Your different now, brash, outgoing, loud, violent and playful. All the things your intorverted self is not, at least not at this magnitude. You look at the people in front of you and make a snap judgment, if there is no reaction you will make them have one. If there is a reaction, you will enhance it, testing the mettle of the member in front of you. Your eyes lock most prominently with those you engage themselves in what is going on. Your eyes lock and you share something passionate and life fulfilling and the same words that come out of your mouth are also comeing out of there's, trancelike. Selfishly, you're always hoping there's at least one girl to share this experience with. They always deserve the most attention. But the people who shirk back surprised, they deserve even more. You lose sense of everything that goes on as your insides empty out on the PA. Someone who is usually such a hygenic person could care less that he is now glistening on your brow ready to trade sweat with anyone who dares brush upon you. You are lost in yourself but found by the people around you. It never last longer then 30 minutes and you're spent, having first thought about who you locked eyes with, and who you want to discuss this connection with after. Then you think about who "gets it". You prepare to thank these people for sharing in this experience with you. And as your chest heaves from the workout, you take a swig of water, a swig of beer, and know this is home. This is where you always want to be. Because nothing will ever be as important.