As you may or may not be aware, the University of Texas is planing on winning the National Championship tonight against Alabama. There will be a party at the P’ville Girl household. We’re having about 15 of our closest friends, family, and football fans over tonight to watch the game (in “stunning HD” of course). After 2 hours and 2 stops grocery shopping last night I was amazed at what feeding and entertaining 15 people takes. A list… in no particular order:

First off, thanks John, you doubledtripled quadrupled my previous record for page views in a single day by linking to me! Not sure if that’s an indication of how many readers you have or how few I have :-)

Either way, if you’re comming over here from The Big Bear Butt Blog, thanks for clicking through, I hope you stick around. Since you’re probably here because of the raffle, I’ll point you to the Crafts In Progress page up at the top to see pictures of the scarves I’m working on for the raffle (I’ll keep posting more pictures as I work on them). Also up there are my Finished Projects, the current standings and rules for my Movie Trivia Game, and a few short stories I’ve written.

Unfortuantely this isn’t a WoW blog (though I used to write one) so if you don’t find anything of interest here I understand. As the tag line says, I mostly write about whatever crosses my mind: movies, books, crafts, and anything shiny that distracts me from work. If you like what you see there’s an RSS link up there, feel free to add it to your reader of choice!

I hope you all participate in the raffle, cancer research is a cause near and dear to my heart. My thoughts and prayers go out to Julie and her family, thanks John and all the Shide Devils for organizing this charity drive.

First off I would like to thank everyone for their kind comments and emails last week. I really appreciated them all. This has been a very difficult two weeks for me but I think I’m doing much better now… more at peace. “The universe tends to unfold as it should.” Not the context that line was originally intended for but I think the idea applies.

Reading

It’s been a while since I posted a book review. I finished Crystal Singer by Anne McCaffrey. I had trouble wanting to write a review for it since it was so… meh. It wasn’t bad but there were few redeeming qualities. It reads much like the other science fiction from the 80’s (it was first published in 1985) so if you like Asimov, Niven, and Bradburry you’ll probably like this. I just find the writing a little stiff and I really don’t like the main character… or any of the characters for that matter.

I also never posted a review of Accidental Werewolf… for similar reasons. It barely qualifies as brain popcorn and I didn’t even enjoy the book until the last 50 pages or so. Quite frankly I’m amazed I made it to the end.

I’m currently reading Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds. I like it so far but it’s very technical and I’m struggling to have the mental capacity to keep up with the book (though that says more about my mental state than the book!). I’m going to try and stick with it… I think it’s going to be an interesting story, it’s just going to take me a while to finish.

Movies

I’ve seen several movies lately. Star Trek, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Terminator Salvation. I didn’t see any point in reviewing them… if you’re a fan of each of the respective series you’ll go see the movie no matter what I or any real critic says. I will say this for each of them. If you are a fan, you’ll love the movies. If you’re not a fan you’ll probably enjoy it anyway. Each of the movies was very well done!

Writing

I’ve run out of steam with the creative writing. I don’t plan on giving it up permanently but I’ve got a lot of projects on my plate at the moment and that has fallen to the bottom of the list. I will probably keep writing something for the Saucy Writing prompts since I really enjoy that. It’s a great creative stretch for the imagination.

TSIFL

The last two weeks have been abysmal for me. Holidays always put a kink in my diet/exercise plans (as does a bout with depression). I kind of had an epiphany this weekend… If I don’t change my behavior, nothing will change. That’s the definition of insanity; doing the same thing and expecting different results. This doesn’t benefit anyone except me and doesn’t hurt anyone except me. I know that’s kind of a “Duh” kind of thing, but knowing and truly accepting are two completely different things.

From here on out, exercise is not an option. I don’t really care what I do, I just can’t allow my self to sit around and do nothing. I’m also going to continue with my eating goals but with an incentive. I will only allow myself Sunday off if I do well during the week. If I haven’t done well then I’ve already had my day off and I don’t need another. We usually hang out with friends on Sundays so that should be a good motivator to keep me on track.

I think that’s all I’ve got for today. Hope everyone is having a good week and remember, tomorrow is Friday!

Note: You’re pretty much getting stream-of-consciousness today so it won’t be as polished as usual.

I debated wether to post about this or not. There’s several thing holding me back. 1) I’m not alone and I’m not unique… I don’t want to sound whiny when I’m certianly not the only one going through the same thing and there are women out there who have it much worse than me. 2) It’s kind of personal… I’m not sure I want this out there on the interwebs. Tami and Bre and Brad have all been very supportive but I’m still just waiting for that forum troll having a bad day to come along and flame me horribly leaving my already fragile emotions in a quivering blob on the floor (I know, it’s probably an unreasonable fear. I’ve never been flamed, had a few rude commenters but nothing that I would consider malicious) 3) I’m not sure anyone cares.

I rolled that around in my head a little this morning and decided that it was all crap. If I want to whine, I’m going to whine. Screw you if you don’t like it. I feel disengenuous if I don’t share what’s going on in my life. I don’t feel the need to share EVERYTHING, but this is what occupies 85% of my mental processes every day… that’s a big chunk. I also think if I get it off my chest I’ll feel better. Lastly, I don’t care if you don’t care.

Ok, I just re-read what I’ve written… I think this is going to be anti-climactic… That’s a lot of build up. I think I just need to get down to it and stop with the qualifiers.

As I’ve alluded to before, I want a baby. Want it so bad I can’t hardly stand it. On top of that I’m surrounded by pregnant women. About 5 of the women I listed in that post have had their kiddos and I’ve added 4 more pregnant women since then. All I hear about are the trials and tribulations of being pregnant. I’ve noticed very few women have positive things to say about pregnancy but they all love it anyway. Somehow this doesn’t deterr me in the slightest.

Anywhoo, I’ve decided that this whole thing is one big waiting game. When you are trying to get pregnant, first you wait to ovulate, for me that’s about 3 weeks. Then once that hapens, you’ve done everything you can and you have to wait to find out if you’re pregnant or not, about 2 weeks. If you’re not pregnant you start over again. If you are then you get a blood test from the Dr to confirm the home test, probably not more than a couple of days. Then, if you’re lucky you get to wait for a dopler at 8 weeks which would be about 4 weeks from when you find out if you’re pregnant, if you’re not luck you have to wait 12 weeks (about 8 weeks from when you find out) for your first ultrasound. At this point it’s going to be a little different for every woman, but basically you’re waiting for about 24 weeks when the baby could potentially survive if it were born, then you wait until 37 weeks when it would be fine if it were born, then you wait for delivery at around 40-ish weeks.

It’s a helluva lot of hurry-up-and-wait. I’m still in that first part… and it’s brutal. You’ve done everything you can and you get to the end of your cycle and [insert euphemism for your period here] comes… you feel like a failure. You wonder “what is wrong with me that I can’t do what my body was built to do.” Then that puts more stress on you which in turn can make it harder to concieve.

I just feel really worn down. I’m trying really hard to stay positive but even then I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I’m just setting myself up for more disapointment.

I’m trying to work my way to a point here and failing. I guess I’m not sure I have one. Just needed to get some of that off my chest. I don’t really have many people I can talk to about this. I feel bad talking to my pregnant friends about it because I don’t want them to feel guilty or avoid talking about their pregnancies with me. I sincerely want to share in their joy, I’m not one of those bitter women who begrudge them their happiness. Sometimes I think The Hubby gets tired of hearing about it too. He wants a baby too but I don’t want to put any additional stress on him… our chances of conception go up if he’s under minimal stress.

Anywhoo, I think I’m going to close here (Bre I hope I haven’t scared you off, the copious amounts of unprotected sex really is fun!) I’ve kind of wound down… I think I’m done complaining :-)

Edit: I took the ticker down as it has expired, if you would like one for TTC, pregnancy, or just about any other type of countdown go to lilypie.com

I hesitated about writing this post. I decided in the end that this is my blog and I’m going to write about what’s on my mind. If you don’t like what I write you have a couple of options: leave me a comment, write me an email, or delete my blog from your feed reader. It’s up to you.

That’s out of the way… where was I going with this… National Day of Prayer. I think most people see this as a Christian event. I know I did before I became a Christian. I looked at things like this with scorn; why does anyone need a national day for everyone to pray… don’t they do that all the time anyway?

Now that I’m a Christian I look at it a little differently. I see it as a day to set aside and consider all the things that could use a little prayer. Wisdom for our President and national leaders. Fruitful job searches for those that are unemployed. The ability to streach short funds for those that are being hit by the economy, people and businesses alike. Healing for those that are sick and hurting. Thanksgiving for the blessings in our lives.

I don’t care if you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or Wiccan. I don’t care if you believe in a greater power or think we are all alone here in our little corner of the universe. I think we can all acknowledge the power of positive thought.

I encourage you to take a few minutes today and acknowledge the things in your life you take joy in – Be thankful for them. Consider the things you want to change – If you don’t already have a plan in place to change them, make one and find someone to help hold you accountable. Accept the things you have to deal with that you can’t change – There are some things in life that are unavoidable; make peace with that and the burden will be easier to bear.

I hope a little more positive energy out there in the cosmos will help us all out. For me, I do believe in God. I do believe that he answers prayers. I will pray today, as I do every day, and be thankful for all the many blessings in my life, I ask for guidance where I am uncertian, I ask that those in need and in pain receive comfort, and I thank God for the gift of His only Son.

I hope this hasn’t been too preachy. I tried to find the balance between expressing myself and not comming on too strong. If you’ve been offended, you have the options I listed in the first paragraph. If you were touched by my words in some way you have some remarkably similar options, leave me a comment or send me an email (pvillegirlblog [at] gmail [dot] com) and let me know. I welcome your thoughts and I am willing to answer any questions.