90 formed us, that Bobby Dean Steele was not especially crazy-at least not accord- ing to observation, the M.M.P.I., and the Rorschach Chandler told us that Steele would end up doing twenty years hard labor in a federal prison. My own departure was somewhat different. Eagle called me into his office and said, "I'm sending you home. Don't ask me whether you're cured or not. I don't know. I do know you were an out- standing Marine, and I have processed papers for a full disability pension. Good luck to you, Sergeant." "Thank you." I was dumbfounded. 'When you get home, find yourself a good neurologist. . . . And keep your ass out of the boxing rings." ' 'Y ." es, SIr. As I turned to leave, Eagle saluted me. I returned the salute proudly, and I heard his booming, operatic laugh start up after I pulled his door shut behind me. T HE next morning I collected over rune thousand dollars in back pay and I went out to the bus stop with my seabag on my shoulder. A master ser- geant came by, and I asked him what time the bus came. He told me that I could not leave the base until I got a No.1 haircut and I told him to forget it, that I was a civil- ian. A moment later a jeep pulled over and a captain with an M.P. band on his sleeve hopped out. I showed him my discharge papers, the jump wings on my set of blues, the Navy Cross and the two Silvers, and he said, "Big fucking deal. You got a General Discharge, Sergeant. A psychiatric discharge, Ser- geant. I want you off this base immediately." 'Well give me a ride and I'll be glad to get off the motherfucker," I said. I was beginning to see cock- roaches crawling through the wet saw- dust inside my skull, and I kept wiping my nose for fear they would run out and brush across my lips. " y , h " h ou re a psyc 0, t e master ser- geant said. "Go out there and wreak havoc and mayhem on the general population, and good riddance." "You could cut me some slack," I said, "I was a rea] Marine, not some rear-echelon blowhard, and by the way, fuck the Corps. Eat the apple and fuck the Corps. I curse the day I ever joined this green motherfucker." "I want you off this base and I want you to hump it off this base," the master sergeant said. "You mean I don't have to get a hair- cut after all?" I said in my best Nellie VOIce. "Fucking hit the road, Marine. Haight- Ashbury is that way." 'Well, fuck you," I said. "And fuck you. Go fuck yoursel[" I threw my seabag down and was about to fight when a Marine in a beat- up T -bird pulled over to the bus stop and asked me if I needed a lift. Without another word I tossed my seabag in his back seat and hopped into the car. Be- fore I could say thanks he hit me up for five bucks in gas money. "It's twenty- three miles to Oceanside," he said. "And I'm runnin' on empty. I ain't even got a spare tire, no jack, no nothing." He looked at me and laughed, revealing a mouth filled with black cavities. He said, "Hey, man, you wouldn't happen to have a cigarette, would you?" I handed him my pack. "Hey, thanks," he said. "That's all right," I said. He lit the cigarette and took a deep drag. "You want to hear some strange shit?" 'Why not?" I said. "I just got six, six, and a kick." The Marine took an- other pull off the cigarette and said, "Six months in the brig, six months without pay, and a Bad Conduct Dis- h " c arge. "What did you do?" I asked. I was trying to stop the vision of bugs. "AWOL," he said. 'Which is what I'm doing now. I ain't going to do no six months in the fucking brig, man. I did two tours in Nam. I don't deserve this kind of treatment. You want to know something?" 'What's that?" "I stole this fucking car. Hot-wired the motherfucker " "Far out," I said. 'Which way you go- . ';)" Ing. "As far as five bucks in gas will take " me. "I got a little money. Drive me to Haight- Ashbury?" "Groovy. What are you dOIng, man, picking your nose?" "Just checking for cockroaches," I said weakly. I was afraid I was going to have a fit, and I began to see the black lights-they were coming on big time, but I fought them off 'What was your M.O.S.?" "Oh-three-eleven, communications. I packed a radio over in I Corps. Three Purple Hearts and three Bronze Stars with valor. That's why I ain't doing six months in no brig. I just hope the 'P. waves us through at the gate. I don't want no high-speed chases." The Ma- rine lit another of my cigarettes from the butt of the first one. "Hey, man, were you in the war? You look hke you got some hard miles on you. Were you in the war? Did you just get out? You're not going AWOL, too-that ain't no regulation haircut. Man, you got a headful of hair. On the run? How about it? Were you in the war? You got that thousand-yard stare, man. Hey, man, stop picking your nose and tell me about it." Aif! "God damn it, are you zoned or h t ';)" w a. Bow wow! "I can't believe this shit. That motherfucker 'P. at the gate is pulling me over. Look at that. Can you belIeve this shit? They never pull you over at this gate, not at this time of day-and I haven't got any identification. Shit! Buckle up your seat belt, nose-pickin' man, we are gonna motate. This fucking Ford has got a blower on the engine and it can boogie. Haight-Ashbury, here we come or we die tryin' Save us some of that free love! Just hope you get some of that free lovin'-save me some of that good pussy!" The Marine slammed his foot down full on the accelerator. The T -bird surged like a rocket and blew by the guard post, snapping off the wooden crossbar. For a moment I felt like I was back in the jungle again, a savage in greasepaint, or back in the boxing ring, a primal man-kill or be killed. It was the best feeling. It was ecstasy. The bugs vanished. My skull contained gray mat- ter again. I looked back at the M.P. in the guard post making a :&antic call on the telephone. But the crazy Marine at the wheel told me not to worry, he knew the back roads. .