TRASHY GOSSIP

Hollywood Aliens: Tom Cruise

Here we see the vile alien galactic ruler XENU using his powerful Tom Cruise puppet in an attempt to trick the human population into believing his lies and deception. Every time you see Tom Cruise in a movie, a magazine, or jumping up and down on Oprah's couch, you are really seeing XENU trying to control you with his powerful hologram puppet. Recently, some clever humans have figured out how to fight XENU and we can now share this information with you. XENU hates water.

Oh, I don't know if he's nuts or not. I'd sooner fall for the Zenu story (we at least can begin with the premise that there IS, in fact, the probability of life on other planets) than for any other, much more far-fetched story being sold by the religious fanatics our society DOES accept. And if it's true love making him that nutty, hell, I can't say I wouldn't like a bit of what he's on. And I think most of us would, if we weren't so busy bitching about celebrities and their personal lives.

He's crazy. Does he really think that aliens are stuffing souls into volcano's? He should be comitted. Poor Oprah, it was such a nice couch too...
I only have one thing to say to Katie Homes: RUN! FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!

To those who wonder how much the Scientology Organized Crime Family's "training" costs, the answer is simple: whatever you have and can beg, borrow, or steal. They want it all. The total can easily reach hundreds of thousands of dollars. It's cheaper to call a telephone psychic or phone sex operator and talk for hours a day than to get suckered into Scientology. Time magazine dubbed Scientology "The Cult of Greed," and for good reason. That's just what it is.

That is how ALL belief systems work. If, for instance, all your friends told You there was a big spook in the sky who really loved You and if You didn't love him back he would BURN YOU TO DEATH forever, chances are You would believe it too!

You're wickedcool, 14! The trading cards are great, [only the boring are bored.] Cheers! That Scientology/xenu BS is CRAZY. I knew celebrities could be gullible, but holy crap, this takes the cake! They could save a lot of money by just playing with Star Wars toys.

"Man! I had never really read about the actual beliefs in Scientology before checking your link."

Same here. I knew L. Ron Hubbard was a whack job, but was absolutely stunned to learn about XENU. How can any sane, rational being believe this shit!?

The answer in Cruise's case is simple: he's out of his f*cking mind. We are witnessing a man not just in "mid-life crisis," but in terminal psychic meltdown. I predict a full descent into celebrity madness on a par with Howard Hughes and Michael Jackson. Stay tuned.

I understand he fired his long time publicist, and hired his sister, a devout Scientologist herself, to do his PR. (If this was "the real Tom" all along, then his prior publicist was a genius.) The timing couldn't be worse; the mask is off. This guy is clearly one sick puppy, what with infantile regression into "Risky Business" antics on Oprah, and this grotesque fist-pumping he does all the time. Is he on speed, crystal meth, some other psychotropic drug? Looks like it to me.

FWIW I've always thought Cruise sucked as an actor. His dramatic range is limited to his patented "deer in the headlights" look, invariably used to express the entire range of human emotion.

I expect to see a lot more of that in Spielberg's remake of "War of the Worlds," another film in this "Year of the Shitty Remake." My son and I are debating whether to go, but I think we will. I'm dying to see what parallels Spielberg draws to the Iraq War. And who knows, maybe we'll see why Cruise has gone crazy. Perhaps the Martians in the flick all look just like XENU.

Hey 19, er 14, keep up the great artwork. This one made my evening dear.

Man! I had never really read about the actual beliefs in Scientology before checking your link; I just figured TC was acting like someone recently finished with est "training". In other words, full of nervous energy, acting deliriously happy, spouting complete nonsense re: caring about the entire human race so much you have to get them all believing the same doo doo that you do. I wonder if Scientology is as expensive as est? Seems to me the Truth shouldn't cost several hundred dollars for basic training (seminars extra).

Anyway, this is even more brilliant than the Devil and Ms Holmes. I have no idea how you're gonna follow this up. Kudos to you, 14! You RAWK!