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blackout wednesday.

I was excited for my presentation. Sometimes I like to show off. And I was really proud of my design. For the occasion, I wore black high waist ankle pants, a cropped navy blouse and my go to work mules.

Since I already knew I was quitting no matter what, I decided to schedule my interview for Wednesday morning. Normally I take work more seriously.

The receptionist set me in a late glass enclosed conference room when I arrived. I was thinking, “Just how many people are going to see my presentation?”

Turns out, four. Frank, Angie, an older VP named Bill and a younger guy from the marketing team.

“Before you start showing us what you can do, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?” Bill said.

Oh. Again. I tried not to sound bored as I have my typical spiel, including a ton of details and answers to upcoming questions they might ask. Everyone stared at me with blank expressions. Bill asked a few interview questions, kind of basic, like what systems I was proficient in, the biggest team I’ve led. Then I got up and did my presentation. It was pretty long as again, I’d tried to cover all the questions they might have.

At the end, Bill said, “Here’s what I like about it. I like the overall look. The colors, I think, are great and work well with the overall concept. I think it is appealing for a multitude of people. What do you guys think?”

They all had nice things to say and I stood up there beaming. Then Bill says, “Here’s what I don’t like.”

Oh.

“I don’t like that every element of the design has thought behind it. I think the design itself is simple enough, bu all the back story and meaning weighs it down. Does that make sense?”

Everyone nodded even though it didn’t make sense. What the fuck? Your little brain couldn’t handle my thought process? Annoying.

After the interview, Angie wanted to meet with me again. We headed down to the lobby to have coffee. We took our coffee (tea) to a little two seater and sat. She asked me my salary expectations and I told her, adding $10,000 to my current salary. You can’t be too greedy.

And then she asked me what my current office is like.

“Its similar to your office. It’s an open concept like it is here which is nice for collaborating with other teams. It’s pretty laidback. I like that everyone is willing to help each other with everything. Everyone has great ideas,” I told her.

She nodded and then leaned in close. “This is a predominately male office. It can be intimidating and I want to make sure that’ll be okay with you.”

I couldn’t picture myself in an all male office. Who would I grab coffee with and complain to? Who would I alert that Sephora had new product launch? What if all the men had a crush on me and I fell into temptation?

“I don’t think that would be an issue,” I let her know.

After the interview, I sent Frank and Angie an email thanking them for the opportunity and stuff. The proper after interview protocol. Surprisingly, Angie emailed me back immediately thanking me and sending a winking face. She was probably just pumped that there was a possibility that another woman would be joining the office.

On Thursday, I met up with Lola after work. I needed some career advice. We braved the snow to go to a packed hotel bar. I told her about the jobs and had to basically scream because the place was lit.

“Honestly, they both sound really cool. I’m really into the second one though. I feel like you would really have freedom to do whatever you wanted and that’s important,” she said.

“Should I accept the first job offer? What if I don’t get a job offer from the other one?” I asked.

“Yeah, accept it. If you do end up getting the other offer and you want it, rescind. Fuck them. Don’t sign anything yet,” Lola said, taking a gulp of her whiskey ginger.

So I accepted the offer. Heidi was thrilled. I still wasn’t quite sure which job I wanted and whether or not I’d even get an offer from the other place. But I told her that I’d start December 3rd.

That weekend, one of Brady’s friends was in town and Brady said he could stay with us. It’s bad enough that Brady is never home to spend time with me, and now I had to share him with Raul.

When Raul got in, we dropped his stuff off at the apartment and headed to dinner. Raul and Brady spoke in Spanish the whole time. I was sitting there bored and even my food wasn’t entertaining me.

Finally, I interjected and said, “What are y’all talking about?”

Brady just stared at me and Raul said in his cute little accent, “We are simply discussing my job prospects here.”

“Oh, me too! What jobs are you in the running for?” I said, excitedly.

“Sorry for wanting to be included,” I said back, offended that he’d been so rude to me.

They continued talking and I sat there glaring and being bitter. After dinner as we were walking to the next place, Brady tried to grab my hand and I snatched it away.

“Did it make you feel better to exclude me from the conversation at dinner and then yell at me when I tried to talk?” I asked.

Brady had the nerve to roll his eyes at me. “I haven’t seen Raul in years and I really don’t need you taking over the conversation and trying to make everything about yourself.”

“I’m not!” I exclaimed, shocked and appalled that he’d even said that.

We walked to a bar where I sat on my phone the whole time. Fine. If Brady didn’t want me talking, then I wouldn’t. I texted Kendra, Carly, Preston, Luke, Lexi, Ava, Nick and Lola. Lexi was the only one who texted back right away, letting me know that she was out on a date and she really thought things might go somewhere with this guy. After she told me his name, I spent the next thirty minutes stalking him on the internet so I could find a reason it wouldn’t work out.

I felt Brady slide a hand into my lap. I looked up at him.

“Hey hey. I love you,” he said, barely even looking at me.

“Why don’t you tell me that again when you actually mean it,” I said.

Brady laughed but then went right back to talking to Raul. Cool.

The next morning, Brady wanted to show Raul the gym and woke up mega early to go.

“Can’t you wait like an hour? It seems unnecessary to go this early,” I groaned.

“Reese, it’s 9:00,” Brady said.

I got up and put on my workout gear then the three of us walked to Equinox. They wanted to lift and I wanted to do cardio so I told them I’d meet back up with them after.

After 30 mins on the elliptical and 10 minutes on the stairs, I was actually ready to go. To kill time, I went and got a fresh juice. There was a gentleman there also getting a juice who insisted on talking to me. My RBF failed me.

Just as the guy was going into an tangent about his work on Wall Street, Brady and Raul rounded the corner. Thank God. I hate finance guys.

We took Raul to some touristy things during the day which was awful. The only thing that got me through it is that we stopped at bars after each attraction so I consumed a lot of drinks. I was happy.

For dinner, we went to an Italian place and shared four dishes. I was mostly excited about the extensive wine list and consumed a bottle on my own. By the time we got back to the apartment, I was sleepy and drunk and wanted nothing more than to get in bed with Tucker and ice cream.

Brady put on some music and he and Raul started getting ready to go out. They showered and ironed shirts and took shots of tequila.

“Reese, how long do you think it’s going to take you to get ready?” Brady asked me as I sat on the couch with my ice cream.

Uh, okay. I thought he’d try a little harder to get me to go with them, but obviously not. Whatever. All I could think about was my new silk pillowcase anyway.

Brady and Raul woke me up out of my sleep at around 4:30am. They were being loud and laughing and I rolled over, waiting for Drunk Brady to join me.

A few minutes later, I heard him stumbling into the bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and got undressed and then got into bed. I could hear his phone vibrating with messages from one of his pockets.

“I wish you came out tonight. I love you,” he said.

“I was actually sleeping really soundly before you came home. Please don’t annoy me,” I said.

Brady ignored me (or wanted payback for all the times I annoy him) and started telling me stories about things that happened at the bar.

“And then this guy, I think he was gay, came up to us and blah, blah, blah.”

I actually fell asleep during his story and Brady woke me up so he could finish telling me. Like dude.

The next morning, I woke Brady up by wrapping my legs around him. It’s my way of telling him I want sex. He rolled over and declared that he felt like shit.

Not my problem.

I climbed on top of him and started grinding slowly on his crotch area until I felt him get hard. Brady didn’t last very long and didn’t indicate that he was going to finish, I literally just felt it.

I got up and showered and when I came back to the bedroom, Brady seemed to want to redeem himself. Before I could get dressed, he pulled my towel off of me and started sucking on my boobs. I grabbed his hair and moaned – it felt so good. He got up and bent me over the side of the bed and we proceeded to have sex again, loud enough for poor Raul to hear.

While Brady was in the shower, I decided to go through his messages so I could see who had been messaging him the night before.

The most recent one was with Sydney.

“Did you make it home?” she’d asked.

“I’m home 🙂” Brady replied.

“Good! Tell Reese I said hello and that we missed her tonight!” Sydney said.

Wait. I couldn’t tell if she was being condescending or if she actually meant that. It’s hard to tell in text message form, right? If she was being real, then that was very nice.

What was with all the smileys? Brady is obviously not an emoji person. It’s like someone else was texting people from his phone.

The number said, “Meet me in Turtle Bay. Bring Zeke.”

Later, the person said, “Have a good night, Brady!”

Super unclear if Brady had met up with whoever this person was, but I needed to get to the bottom of it. I saved the number to my phone and synced my contacts to my Snapchat. I quickly found out that the culprit was a person named “Kim” with a blonde bitmoji. My heart raced excitedly. I don’t know if I was excited for potential drama or if I thought I’d finally caught him cheating once and for all.

We spent the day out again, showing Raul our favorite places. They were a little hungover and moving slow, but I wanted to day drink.

“Three Bloody Mary’s and three shots of vodka with a splash of lemon on the side, please,” I told the server at the second place we went to.

“Reese, please,” Brady groaned.

“What?” I said back innocently.

And the two of them drank their drinks and took their shots so I don’t see why Brady pretended they didn’t want them. After Raul left for the airport, Brady decided he had work to do. And I did not feel like sitting around waiting for him to be finished so I invited Gabby out for drinks nearby. She bounded in with her red hair in a high pony wearing black heeled booties, a plaid dress and a leather jacket.

“I’m meeting Kevin after this,” she greeted as if explaining her outfit.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about Kevin. How’s he doing?” I said.

“Good.” She began blushing. “He’s really busy with work though. Like, he works 16 hours a day. It’s crazy.”

“Welcome to my life. Brady works a lot too. It’s actually awful.”

“But he always tries to find time for us. Even if it’s last minute like tonight.”

Girl. I wanted to tell her that it was last minute because he thought of her as an afterthought, a backup plan for when his original plan fell through. But what did I know? No need to push my pessimism onto her. Or does that make me a bad friend? I just try not to give unsolicited advice.

I put my two week notice in on Monday.

“Aw, man. Seriously? You just got here,” Brett groaned.

When he asked where I was going, I told him that I had a couple of different opportunities which is true.

Sarah and Michelle didn’t take it quite as well. Before I’d even had a chance to tell either of them myself, Sarah chatted me.

“If you didn’t want to work here, why didn’t you just tell me? I can’t believe you have been looking for a new job.”

Oh. So she was taking it personally. I decided not to respond – if she wanted to talk about it, she could be an adult and talk to me in person.

Michelle wanted to talk about it in person like a grownup. She came and found me at my desk on Tuesday morning.

“Reese, hi. Do you have a moment to meet with me?” she asked.

“Um, sure. One moment,” I said back. I actually had all the time in the world. All I was working on was Brett’s project, which needed a complete overhaul because the way he was reporting it was terrible.

Michelle pulled me into an office and we sat down.

“So I was surprised to hear that you are leaving,” she began.

“I understand. Honestly, I’ve been job hunting for a while. I am grateful that I was able to transfer here, but the sales manager job is just not the direction I want to go in my career…”

“If you’d just told me that, we could have found a place for you here, Reese. There are plenty of opportunities outside of sales,” she said gently.

Ah, exactly like Brady had said.

“Really?” was all I said back.

Michelle nodded and asked me about my careers plans and what I wanted to do. I told her, putting an emphasis on product development, but also marketing.

“We don’t have anything open in product development right now as you know, but we are about to open up a new position in social media marketing. We are looking to ramp up our paid ads on platforms like Facebook and Instagram and also collaborate with influencers,” she explained. “So we need someone to take over that side of the business and I think it would align well with what you want to do. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?”

“Well, yeah. It does.”

Michelle pulled out her iPad and said, “Let’s get an interview scheduled with the marketing team.”

So I have an interviewed scheduled this week. It happened so fast that I didn’t even get a chance to think about if I actually wanted the job she mentioned and if it was enough to get me to stay.

With all that was going on with work, I almost forgot that Brady and I were going to Houston to visit my family for Thanksgiving. I snuck out of work early on Wednesday because I still needed to pack. Brady had only packed half of his stuff so I also finished packing for him. Do you see that? A wife.

I slept the whole way there while Brady did work on his laptop and when I felt we were landing, I woke up excited for Blackout Wednesday.

“Let’s drop this shit off at my parents, get ready and then hit the streets,” I said.

I didn’t have specific plans for us, but I love showing Brady around where I came from. It’s quite different than his WASP-y upbringing and obviously more fun.

My mom was waiting for us just outside the terminal. She looked cute in hip ripped jeans, a black cape thing and a pair of black strappy heels that I’m pretty sure were once mine. She had a side swept bang going on and was wearing glasses.

“Since when do you wear glasses, Mom?” I greeted her.

“I need them for reading and driving. These are Dior,” she said, proudly. They were pretty cute, I’ll admit. “Brady, so good to see you! You look fantastic. Have you been working out?” She pulled him into a hug.

I smirked.

We hopped in the car and my mom drove us home.

“What are y’all doing tonight? We should go to dinner, that might be fun,” my mom said as she let us into the house.

“I’m taking Brady downtown. It’s Blackout Wednesday,” I let her know.

My dad wasn’t home yet. He was wrapping up a ton of work before the holiday.

“I can relate! Brady works as late as possible every single day. I even had to pack for him,” I said, smiling affectionately at him. He didn’t look amused.

My mom ordered pasta for us to have for dinner and left to go pick it up. I offered to give Brady a tour and took him around my parent’s place. My mom has great style and opted for lots of random prints, neutrals and pops of jewel tones. Like Moroccan inspired, but way more glam. It’s super cute. She turned the spare bedrooms into three guest rooms each with a different theme. One was millennial pink and gray -very on trend, one was tan and white and looked like a rustic farmhouse and another was navy and turquoise with deer antlers on the wall. I opted for that one because it has a 70 inch television in it.

Brady and I showered and got ready then headed to a cocktail lounge downtown. A couple drinks in, Brady started getting cute and grabbing my waist and kissing me and telling me how beautiful I am. I thought it was the perfect time to bring up Kim. After more research, I’d discovered that she lived in New York, but was from California somewhere. Her Instagram was wide open and each of her pictures had over 1,000 likes despite only having 900 followers. Something’s fishy there. She’s cute. Kind of skinny with a big head. Her LinkedIn tells me she works in a clothing store so I’m not sure how Brady would know her.

“Did you hang out with Kim the other night?” I asked.

Brady looked confused. “Kim who?”

“Blonde Kim.”

“Ohh,” he nodded like he got me. “I didn’t hang out with her. Why?”

“Who is she?” I demanded. I was happy that he said he didn’t hang out with her, but he could easily be lying.

“A friend. Well, not even a friend. She is romantically interested in Zeke and I know her because of him.”

Y’all remember Zeke? The nympho with tattoos all over his body? I have a secret crush on him kinda. But Kim can have him if she wants him.

“What are you then, the fucking matchmaker?” I said. “Why would she be texting you?”

Brady laughed and I made a note to keep tracking this further.

The next morning, I woke up in the navy and turquoise room. Brady had his arms wrapped around my body like he was afraid I was going to escape.

“Morning. Are you feeling okay?” Brady said, sensing that I was awake.

I just nodded, knowing that my breath probably smelled like I’d given a homeless person a blowjob.

“I love you,” he said, nuzzling my neck.

I didn’t know why he was being so sweet again, but it was weird and I hopped up to shower and brush my nasty teeth. I vaguely remembered throwing up in the bathroom at the bar the night before.

I came back in the room in my fluffy white bathrobe my mom had gotten me and Brady was sitting on the side of the bed. Now that I was clean, I felt like I could actually speak.

“Sorry if I was a hot mess last night,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it. Um…” Whenever Brady pauses like that he needs to say something, but is nervous about it. I braced myself, wondering what I’d done wrong this time. “I was thinking about you said last night. About how you feel like our relationship has plateaued.”

Oh, did I say that? I didn’t even realize I felt that way until he brought it up. But yeah.

“I don’t want you to feel like that, but I think I understand why you do. I realize some of our friends are in completely different places, but in my opinion, we have a lot of other things to figure out before thinking about possible next steps.”

“Possible next steps”? What was this, a job interview? Only Brady.

“Okay. So what are you saying?” I asked.

“We just moved together and I don’t think we have settled from that. And I believe that is a big commitment. I hope that is enough…for right now.”

I wish I could have had a recording of my face. Because what the fuck?

“It’s not just about commitment. I don’t even want to be engaged. What I’m saying is we’ve already gotten into this routine of you working late everyday and then working when you get home. I’m lonely! We hardly ever talk or do anything together. If I would’ve known it was going to be like this, I would’ve stayed in Chicago where people made time for me.”

Brady’s face fell and I kind of regretted saying that. But y’all know me, I don’t back down.

“I’m really trying to make more time. I guess it is harder than I anticipated,” he said quietly.

We spent the day out with my parents and then instead of trying to slave away for dinner, my dad just made a reservation at a really nice steakhouse. My maternal grandparents joined us.

At dinner, my dad said, “So Brady, tell us about your new job.”

And when Brady started telling us, talking about what he does on a day to day basis, the team of medical professionals he works with, the patients who sometimes receive experimental treatment, but are so grateful for anything, made me realize that I’m so concerned about him not ever being home that I don’t even know anything about his work. I am such a bitch.

“You don’t test that crap on animals? What if it kills somebody?” my grandpa said. He rarely ever speaks and this is what he decided to say.

They all started having a conversation about the FDA. My mom and I just kept looking at each other and then she asked if I’d tried any of Kim Kardashian’s perfumes.

After dinner, we headed home and drank. My parents are getting along really well these days and my mom seems to really want to be a good wife. She always texts me asking what she should say and do in certain situations. Like, “Your dad’s company is having a dinner with the execs. What should I wear that is sexy for him, but not too sexy because all of his colleagues are there?” and “I gave your father all of my money this month. I didn’t go shopping at all. I hope that makes him happy,” and “Your father and I haven’t slept together in three weeks, do you think something is wrong?” Mother, please.

On Friday, we went to a show at the theater with my parents after doing a bit of shopping. I told some of my friends I’d meet up with them on Saturday. I wasn’t super pressed to hang out with them, but when Brittany found out I was in town, she called me and let me know that they had a table at a club and we should stop by. Lucky for her, I’d brought a clubbing outfit (black dress, chunky heels and no jewelry).

Brady and I got dinner and pregamed at a bar before heading to the club.

“Try not to flirt with Brittany too much tonight,” I instructed on our way in.

Brady grabbed my hips and pulled me close into him. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

Inside, I found Brittany and Co at their little table in VIP. She was standing up dancing wearing a sequin tank top and a pair of American Apparel adjacent disco pants. Okay girl. She saw us and waved, but didn’t bother getting down to greet us. Brady and I made drinks and danced around the table for a little bit. Brady was way more drunk than I was and kept putting his arms around my whole body and swaying.

Eventually Brittany sauntered over with a drink in her hand.

“Hi, beautiful!” she greeted me with big hug. She reached over and hugged Brady next. “I’m so glad to see y’all!”

“Same! How are things? How have you been?” I said back. I haven’t spoken to or seen Brittany in forever. She started her own real estate company and posts about the luxury high rises she has available on Instagram all the time. She replies to my stories all the time, but we don’t ever really talk.

“Things are so good. I miss you, girl.” She leaned it close to me. “Christian is here.”

“Oh, ew!” I said loudly. Do y’all remember Christian, the music producer who thought I was a prostitute? Obviously she didn’t hear how that whole thing went down.

“Tell me about your real estate thing,” I said, to change the subject.

Over the music, she told me about her work, how she’d done it so she could have financial freedom and a flexible schedule. It sounded like one of those multilevel marketing presentations. My eyes began glazing over.

On cue, Christian and his entourage made their way over to the table. There were like fourteen of them, but Christian led the pack. I obviously wasn’t going to say hello and he did a double take when he saw me.

“Christian!” Brittany called, gesturing for him to join us. She is so petty.

He walked over slowly, taking a sip from his plastic cup.

“Hey, how have you been?” he said to me, hugging me with his free arm.

“This is my boyfriend,” I said when we pulled away. Christian put out his fist for Brady to pound it.

He smirked and put his drink out to cheers me. As he walked away, Brittany leaned in close to us and exclaimed, “He’s soo cute.”

Like, he’s okay. Definitely dropped down a few points for thinking I sell my ass for money.

When we got back to my parents’, we were happy and giggly after finding tacos on the way home. Back in our turquoise room, Brady immediately pushed me back on the bed and began kissing me. He pushed my dress up and crouched down in front of me. Brady loves to eat pussy and that is one of his most redeeming qualities.

Is it rude to hook up at your parents’ house?

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26 thoughts on “blackout wednesday.”

DBsays:

Maybe you and Brady could try to set up a standing date night once a week. It seems like he has tried to make time for you, but then never communicates it to you until he’s already home and you already made other plans. One of my coworkers does this with his girlfriend because they live a ways away from each other and both have very busy schedules, so it helps them make sure they get at least 1 evening to spend together whether it’s going out or just hanging out watching TV. It sounds like you want to know what’s going on in Brady’s life but you don’t have much time together outside of going out to the bars where there’s a lot more noise and distraction so it’s not as easy to have a meaningful conversation.

Yea 😦 I think that you’ve communicated pretty clearly to him that you need more quality time with him, and I think if your relationship is important to him he should make time. If he doesn’t, then I don’t think it’s a very good sign. However, it sounds like he has made some efforts in the past like when he came home on time to have dinner with you (but just didn’t communicate that with you) so maybe there’s hope!

Super annoyed by how completely rude it was of Brady and Raul to ignore you while they were out with you. And then he ridicules you for trying to be a part of the conversation? It’s probably just me, but it feels like – from what you say – Brady seems to need others around when hanging with you unless you’re at home. Which is weird.

Brady is so weird to me. He does nothing but play with your head. He says one think, does another thing and tells people another thing. It seems like he likes having you around when it’s convenient but when it is not Convenient for him he treats you like a throw away. Even what he said to you at your parents that since you moved together that should be enough for. That is a red flag. This guy is never going to commit and definitely not to you (no ) offense

I’m sorry but I hate Brady. I think he treats you terribly. He likes to make you feel insecure by doubting yourself. The way he belittled you in front of his friend was so rude. I have never trusted him and I think he puts on this “good guy” act but I am not buying it. You deserve a guy who will treat you like the queen you are and let you be just as outspoken and crazy as you want to be because that is what makes you who you are. Brady knows you are like that and wants to try to change you.

I love your parents!!! I think your relationship with them is so cute.

It seems like Britney was trying to stir up some trouble with that guy at the club. I am glad you didn’t feed into the drama. It seems like she was trying to get a reaction out of you, glad you didn’t fall for that.

I have been following your blog from the beginning and can I just say I completely love you and feel like we are best friends! You should have a meet up so we can all meet!

Totally agree with S. Not to be harsh because I get this blog is only a piece of the whole story, but Brady doesn’t seem to respect you at all and the only thing y’all seem to have going good in this relationship is a good sex life. That’s important and all but like… I don’t get that he doesn’t talk to you about work and family stuff and stuff like that. You haven’t seem to have built a life together after this long. No respect, no communication, no trust..

the communication thing is still and issue, but I think it will always be with us. we are trying. I think he’s stressed with work and stuff and takes it out on me which isn’t fair but i don’t think he means it.

That feels a little bit like making excuses for him. I hope not, but it does. And the communication thing is HUGE. You cannot have a lifelong relationship, your most important relationship, built with someone you cannot properly communicate with. It needs to be addressed and there needs to be active work towards fixing that on both your parts or there is no point.

it totally is an excuse but I am not accusing him. it’s unacceptable and he knows I’m not okay with it and things must change. I will say he’s trying to be nicer but he’s still working more than I’m comfortable with

I’ve been reading you blog from the start, and I just feel like you have matured so much!
I love coming to read your posts and seeing how you still speak your mind, but you’ve learnt a better way to do it.
I’m not sure what I think of the way Brady has been acting since your move.. maybe he is just struggling to juggle work and home life.
I definitely agree with the idea of planning a date night a week and seeing how he goes at sticking to it, you deserve that much.
xx

Happy Friday! Can’t wait to see what the offer job offer entails. How was your Thanksgiving? I also think that Brady means well he just doesn’t always know how to talk to you about his feelings. I love how he opened up to you in Texas about how moving in together is enough for now and hopefully he will communicate with you better going forward. Have you found a new hobby yet? I also took your advice and redecorated my apartment with the ideas you gave me. I love it now 🙂