Marco Rubio and the Coffee Enema Couple Join Florida Tourism Board

The local personalities, egos, and public figures who swung through the news cycle this week, ranked by New Times' crack research department using a highly scientific algorithm (i.e., darts, board, hangover-shaky hands.)

5. Bottled WaterWe were going to put Marco Rubio up here, and on paper that makes complete sense. Dubbed "young, hip" by the Sun-Sentinel (obviously an outlet on inmate terms with both those concepts, right?), Florida's Senator got the shoulder tap to deliver the GOP response to the State of the Union. You could call him the Great Not-White Hype for the cracker-centric Republican party as it plows into the future. But then . . . the bottled water. Hard to come back from such an upstaging.

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