Spirituality

"Iron Chef" cooking class stirs competitive spirit in LoHi

There were no cameras, no audience and no Gordon Ramsay-style screaming, but somehow the "Iron Chef" date-night at Stir Cooking School felt like the real thing.

This was Stir's twist on reality-TV cooking competitions, where would-be master chefs need to think fast to create a winning meal after being confronted with a secret, last-minute main ingredient.

The only prize at the Lower Highlands neighborhood cooking school? The satisfaction of beating out two other teams. But once the authors of this story, who are married, started brainstorming and hoarding ingredients, the game was on.

The secret ingredient: a big bowl of citrus fruits. The rules required it be incorporated into an appetizer and entrée. Then, three teams of six couples (or pairs of friends) drew randomly to assign the protein for their main dish — chicken, pork tenderloin or steelhead trout.

Our team plucked pork.

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John almost instantly recalled one of our favorite to-go meals, the Cuban pork and black beans that appears occasionally, gloriously, in the prepared-foods section at Marczyk Fine Foods, which features thinly sliced oranges on top. Our assigned adviser, Stir owner Katy Hume, and the four strangers on our team approved, so we cobbled together a plan for fruit salsa, fresh tortilla chips and Cuban-inspired pork on cilantro-lime rice with citrus coleslaw.

Next, each team picked a number to see who could grab ingredients first, taking turns in order. We drew No. 1 and Kathleen snatched up all the avocados, provoking groans and finger-pointing from the other teams. (It was a legit move, and one suggested by Hume.)

Ingredients acquired, it was time to cook. The 90-minute cook time was far too short for a properly braised pork, but Hume had John immediately browning slices of the tenderloin while she fired up the rice cooker. The rest of us got to work chopping vegetables and zesting lemons, limes, oranges and grapefruit.

We buzzed about our stations, communicating in grunts and glances, grabbing ingredients between knife flashes and cutting-board swipes (each team would also be judged on its station cleanliness). Even without millions of anonymous viewers, the pressure was real — as we learned when John splashed a teammate in the face with boiling-hot pork broth spiked with citrus juice and flame-roasted jalapeños.

Fortunately, John's victim, a nurse, took the accident with good grace and was OK.

Miraculously our meal came together as Hume pointed us in the right direction, showing our smiling teammate Juel, a young Army vet, how to horizontally slice avocados and demonstrating the technique to "supreme" a grapefruit (to remove the skin, pith, membranes and seeds).

Contestants in the foreground, from left: Tony Thielen, Carrie Pearse, Ben Koh and Rachel Vento, strategize for their meal. (Photos by Cyrus McCrimmon, The Denver Post)

We stole glances at other teams as they fussed over their dishes and rushed around. We felt confident with the owner of the school as our adviser. Even with little at stake but our pride, we fought bravely until time ran out and then laid down our arms.

Each team delivered their carefully plated dishes to the front of the room, explaining each item and its ingredients while Hume and her fellow advisers looked on.

This was a cooking class for the confident but curious, and as the judges sampled our wares we decamped to the upstairs dining area to do the same. Pleasant conversations were sparked by the textures and cooking approaches, and wine from the front-of-the-house bar disappeared down our throats.

Finally, Hume and her pair of station assistants — both from Johnson & Wales culinary school — appeared in the candle-lit area as she announced the results. The Cuban pork had won! It felt like a bit of a stolen victory, given the weighted odds.

Still, our pork tasted delicious, with a slight hint of bitterness and a rich, buttery finish. Our perfectly fried chips and melt-in-your-mouth avocado salsa complemented the cilantro-lime rice with each bite. We were victorious.

Stir's "Iron Chef" class is designed for people reared on reality-TV cooking shows, which is a larger contingent than one might think, given that the $75-per-person spots always go fast. (Note: Stir comped the class fee for the authors of this story).

By the end of the night we were happily full and exhaling with the satisfaction of a hard-fought battle. What we learned was light on basic-cooking skills and heavy on entertainment value, but we nonetheless discovered we could whip up a fun, tasty meal on short notice — with some knowledgeable help, of course.

John Wenzel: 303-954-1642, jwenzel@denverpost.com or twitter.com/johnwenzel

Stir Cooking School

Adult and children's cooking classes for all skill levels, from knife handling and sushi-making to baking, cocktails, date nights and vegetarian fare. $75 per person, per class. 3215 Zuni St. 720-287-4823 or stirtolearn.com for class schedule.

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