5 Reasons Superman and Wonder Woman Doin' It is A Terrible Idea

So DC has finally pulled the trigger. They’re really doing it. Chuck Austen is giggling and clapping his hands somewhere.

Superman and Wonder Woman make sense outside DC continuity because, well, the basic physics dictate that neither of them exactly have a lot of sex partners who can take the abuse they’ll dish out. We’ve all read Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex, but that’s a two-way street. Consider that Wonder Woman’s enormous strength extends to her entire body.

Yeah, that’s a great way for your rod to become a twig, if you’ll excuse my work-safe euphemisms.

Nonetheless, inside DC continuity, it’s a terrible idea. Here’s why.

#5) Dammit, Brian Azzarello Doesn’t Need This $#!t

Azzarello has been doing a spectacular job on Wonder Woman, capping off a twelve issue run with a killer cliffhanger. And now DC editorial is throwing him this monkey wrench? Granted he can just ignore it since DC doesn’t seem prone to forcing lots of crossovers, but it’s still a crappy thing to do to a guy who has salvaged one of your biggest characters with the single best run she’s had in decades.

#4) So, Supes Is a Dick Now?

I freely admit I haven’t enjoyed how DC has been characterizing Superman this go-round, to the point of largely avoiding the books aside from Supergirl. In large part he’s a whiny douche, when he’s not being a self-righteous douche.

Part of what made Superman appealing is that he’s not human, but he genuinely wants to be. He’s a god who would give up his godhood if he didn’t feel an intense obligation to use his powers for the betterment of all mankind.

Screwing a teammate seems distinctly out of character. It’s like the New 52 establishing Batman is nailing Catwoman on a regular basis; it was fun to joke about but on paper it seems a step too far.

#3) It Makes The Human Cast Members of Both Essentially Redundant

Lois exists, especially since the ’80s reboot, to ground Superman and tie him to humanity. Same with the cast at the Daily Planet. I’d complain more about Steve Trevor but Azzarello hasn’t featured him and he was always a blank anyway.

I think Wondy can deal with this better than Supes because her current book lays out that she’s noble and thoughtful of others to a fault. Supes… I’m not so sure.

I think it can work. Superman nails her for a while then this leads him to becoming a real omnipotent asshole who loses all touch with Humanity. The same thing happens with Wonder Woman, they both realize this and decide to break it off and become the bestest of friends or Super Friends if you like lame callbacks. And then Superman hooks up with Lois who acts as the one person who keeps him in touch with Humanity.

I agree with #2, I think that’s what they’re trying to do, but really who the hell is this pandering too? Most established DC fans don’t want to see them together, they already are familiar and accept the Clark/Lois relationship. How is this going to convince people to buy after two issues is beyond me.

(Also, if they really want to nerd pander, it would be Wonder Woman and Batman.)

As someone with NO vested interest (outside of liking the current WW run), I’m trying to think of reasons why it SHOULD happen..
…hmm…
…uh…
…Ok…
1) Probably should have happened years ago, pre-new52. He’s the perfect man who was a total idealist and she’s his female counterpart. Both are impossibly attractive and they work together closely. How could there NOT have been one night in the Hall of Justice, at the very least.

2) Superbaby. I imagine somewhere in their heads, DC is thinking about how a child of the two brought into the contemporary DCU would be an “earth shaking” event. Ignoring alternate universe stories where this sort of thing might have taken place.

3) Character Development. If he’s whiney, the best way to fix that is to give him reason to be a better man. WW seems to be written pretty well. She could be a fine example to him.

4) I’m reaching. There’ I’ve said it. There is no #4. There was barely a #3. But I’m going to type this in order to look like I filled out an entire top-5 list.

5) To prove that Diana is not a lesbian. Okay, bad reason. Her sales would go up among young male readers if she started making out with her female co-stars. But don’t tell DC I said that.

Having not read one single issue of the DCNU, I’m fine with this. Sure, given the half-assed nature of how (I’m under the impression) this reboot is being run, it certainly smacks of pandering. But it could be entertaining. I’m willing to be entertained by this. Still interested to see how they are going to “off-camera” something that people have imagining for years…