More relaxed than parents and MIL...

I don't know if it's because our kids are getting a bit older, but my frustration with my parents and my MIL about "sweating the small stuff" is growing. I will admit, my DH and I are pretty relaxed about everything, but my parents and my MIL seem to pick the little battles with my kids when they are around them (luckily none of them live close, but they still visit at least once a month). For example...yesterday MIL was getting DS dressed for church and was fighting him to get his sweater vest on...not worth the battle. She also told DD to give me her pen and paper because we were leaving the house, she insisted when DD wouldn't give it up, I told her she could keep them, who cares if she takes it in the car with her? My parents are just as bad if not worse. I used to just laugh these things off, but now it's just plain annoying that everything has to be a big deal. I grew up with my mother who always "sweated the small stuff" and I hated it which may be why I'm getting frustrated. I know there are way bigger issues in families and I am grateful that my parents and MIL are involved in their lives, but I just had to get this out there...I feel better now for venting, thanks for listening.

Comments (1)

My mother is the same exact way. MIL can be sometimes, but is usually more reasonable.

In the end, it will damage the relationship with the kids, but that is on them.

I do enforce what they say though. My kids do have to obey their Grandparents. If GP says to leave the pen and paper, then I would back them up. Later, if the kid is old enough to question it, I will tell them.... the pen and paper don't bother ME, but you do have to respect your GP's... I won't undermine them. Just because you think what they are asking you is silly/ doesn't matter/ MOM would let me... doesn't mean you can disregard them and not listen.

For example, MIL thinks Powerade is dangerous and horrible. (I think she confuses it with like MOnster Energy drinks.) And her mind is made up. My kids know that when we are with MIL at a restaurant or whatever, she will not let them order Powerade and that I will back her up. They also know that Mom doesn't mind if they order Powerade when we aren't with MIL. (MIL is usually paying, which is why I do let her have some say in what the kids order. Also, her concern is loving and strictly out of concern because she really thinks it is dangerous. )She may not be right, but there is no reason to make it a hill to die on. No reason my kids HAVE to have Powerade.

So don't get frustrated. In the end, your LO and the GP's will have their own relationship and if it isn't the "best" relationship because they are bossy and arbitrary... well... that is just on them.