Tuesday, November 30, 2010

(click ad, from a 1941 Time, via) Edgy, Y&R. Providing business folk with the kind of keen insight that would impel them to part with their ad money without hesitation. California is not an island (though, the next Big One could change that). Now, give us a million dollars. Here's a more recent Y&R self-promo ad from 2006—not as grandiose, but much more douchebag-ier. Previously in:terrible ad agency self-promo ads.

(nsfw) Pretentious perfume campaign has boobies.

(click ads, via) Why? So some "artsy" men could stare at tits in a studio all day. Stockholm-based perfumer Byredo, in collaboration with French design house M/M, launched M/Mink in September. These are the first ads. The ink blotches are supposed to represent Japanese calligraphy. No faces, so lower model fees! From the M/M website:"This scent, which is firstly that of ink, is transformed gradually to the idea of ink, before finally arriving at a scent that will remind you of the ink that is most precious: the blood that flows in our body."So, notes of blood and ink? And money.Previously in pretentious sexual fragrance ads:Tom Ford (nsfw) • Aire Loco (mildly nsfw). Related: Bond #9—Phew! York.

"Big Richard" condoms sends 'thank you' letter to The Pope.

(click image, via) And this is the face Pope Ratzi made when he opened it and saw those bunnies fucking. No, this missive was soaked with Holy water and burned with Body of Christ wafers before it came anywhere near His Eminence. Pretty pedestrian publicity grab in the wake of Ratzinger's statements that condoms are maybe OK for gigolos, hookers, and HIV-positive folk. Copy could've been much better. Ad agency: Naked Communications. Related: here's a condom stunt that I actually liked.

Link Haze, 11/29/10.

• Airtoons.• GWAR's tribute to Sarah Palin.• Seasonal awkward family photo.• What are people throwing up today?• Tom Waits to publish book of poetry.• The Simpsonsnailed Fox News again.• cute French dog biscuit spot (with ass sniffing).• The Dutch have some fun with the TSA backscatter.

Strange Tokyo Subway Safety Poster of the Week.

(click image, from 1979, via) That is a Buddhist nun warning a 50-foot man not to rush into the subway car. She seems so calm for somebody who's about to be crushed. She's expecting divine intervention, I guess. Where was that giant businessman when Godzilla was wreaking havoc? Previous Tokyo subway safety posters: Insane alcohol awareness poster from 1976 • And six funny etiquette posters from recent years.

More sexy/gay/furry/bestiality from Orangina.

After viewing this latest insane creation by French admen Fred & Farid, you may never drink another bottle of Orangina again. Thus continues the furry love campaign launched three years ago. This is actually, partially a cobbling together of previous short parody spots. Make sure and wait for the last shot for Creepy Overload. Truly one of the strangest commercials ever produced.Previously in: strangest commercials ever. Previously in: creepy furry ads.

Russian government uses psychotic squirrel in alcohol awareness spot.

(via) Welcome to the latest installment of Russian Ad Watch, where we watch Russian ads with various levels of incomprehension. God, do I need translation help with this PSA via the Russian Health Ministry. He is apparently called Hell-Squirrel? He is suffering from acute alcoholic psychosis (obvs). And...he killed his wife or a friend's wife, or something? Nice Curly impersonation there towards the end. Что за хрень? (what the fuck?) update: my Russian-savvy correspondent says he's ranting about invisible spiders and singing 'Volga.'The Russians do seem fairly obsessed with squirrels.

(sorta nsfw) Is showing a graphic sexual assault on a rape awareness poster a smart move?

(click ad, via osocio) Via French organization Contrele Viol (Against Rape). Translation: "75,000 (French) women are raped every year. Rape: the shame should switch sides." The call-to-action is an invitation to sign an online petition. Shocking, yes. Creepy, yes. Effective? I really don't think so. It's certainly not a good rape prevention visual, and might even give rapists some motivation (just like a lot fashionadvertising). Also, the girlie type is insulting, but that's unfortunately their logo color. Note all the smaller logos, so—ad by committee. Will the poster get more French women to report sexual assault? The organization claims only 2% of rapes are reported. I'm interested to hear what women think of this thing.Previous rape awareness ads:• The UK—the lady's panties say No means No.• The US—Statutory Rape D-Cupped in our faces.• Italy (nsfw)—naked woman crucified for rape awareness.

The Flirt Vodka Oral Sex Ad Series™ continues...

(click ads) Previously in the Bulgarian Vulgarian "Keep Memories Alive" campaign, we've seen a drunk driver getting a blow job in his car. And, a woman with scraped knees, presumably from giving a blow job. Here (L), we have a park bench BJ (headline translation: "he said he was star gazing"), and (R) some restaurant cunnilingus (headline: "she said she was going to take some time with the menu").
It's the unsubtleness of these ads that fascinates me. In America, we have "blow job" vodka ads. We just don't have blow job vodka ads. Thanks to Omri for the ads/translations.

Look who's advertising—FEMA!

(click ads, via) You're doin' a heckuva job, FEMA! This new campaign is literally a disaster! Destroyed building words! Did they get some sixth-graders to fashion these layouts? We have "flood" (L) and "terrorist attack." And that headline—"reduces the consequences?" Doesn't look like it! I can't live in what's left of these "Plan" houses. The US Government—forever terrible at marketing. Ad agency: The Vidal Partnership here in NYC. Here's a round-up of previous awful government agency advertising, including an even worse FEMA ad and the official War On Terror™ logo. UPDATE: "tomorrow" is spelled wrong on both ads.

Russian Ad Watch: Bruce Willis dares you p*ssies to bank elsewhere.

(click ad, via) Time for Russian Ad Watch—where we watch Russian ads without total comprehension. Willis is the new badass face of Trust bank of Russia. Headline says: "Trust—it's like me, only it's a bank!" Says Dmitry Chukseev, Trust's vp of communications: "We have conducted market research which confirmed that he is an absolute leader in the overall index of perception of the target audience. The image of Willis - a reliable and decent man, which he translates not only on screen but also in everyday life, fully coincides with our values and values of our clients, which confirmed the aforementioned study "
A reliable and decent man? Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker.update: in-country source says he got about $1 million US (thanks Marina!).update #2: I scooped Reuters, and I got the dollar figure, bitches!Previous celebs who hopped on the ruble ad gravy train:Jude Law • Quentin Tarantino.

Monday, November 22, 2010

It's a Boy! finger penis birth announcement card.

(click image, via) This has been around for a few months, but it's worth a post on this Sleazy Post Monday. Unable to find the creator after an exhaustive two-minute Google search. I definitely do not want to see the It's a Girl! version, especially if it looks like this. Previously: plastic surgeon's fake boobs interactive business card.

In Spain, voting is orgasmic (sfw, turn volume down).

Catalonians go to the polls this Sunday to elect parliamentary members. To help get out the vote, the youth arm of the Socialist party produced this video of a woman getting off inserting her ballot in and out and in the box slot. To the quotes!• Catalonia Socialist Party leader Jose Montilla: "If it encourages people to vote, it's a good thing."• Alicia Sanchez-Camacho of the conservative Popular Party said the video was an "attack on the dignity of women."• Green party candidate Joan Herrera, said it would be "very difficult to reach orgasm voting for any of the candidates, myself included."• Lastly, the Spanish Minister of Equality BibianaAido: "If it was true, electoral participation would go up greatly, but I think we are dealing with a misleading advert." She thinks!Previously in Political Advertising.

(nsfw?) Es ist der PussyLolly—with or without tampon string.

(click images) "Lick the most elegant way!" It's the plum-flavored (not cherry?) lickable lady flower "handcrafted" in Germany. The translated copy: "The pussy lolly is an extraordinary and quite grown-up idea with which not only is preparing himself or others happy, but with the one(s) and always remains in training!" It's a treat! It's a training device!Snatch one for € 5.90, plus s+h. The "menstruation" version (center, tampon string) is €7.50, while the "intimate piercing" lolly (right) is €15.00. Go down on one in a bar ,at the supermarket, or in your conference room, and instantly make all the ladies' groins tingle! Previously in: VAGINA. Related: the condom lollipop.

New towel ensures you won't dry your face with ballsack sweat.

(via adrants) That butt-ugly thing above is the new "true clean towel," which is apparently a real product. The premise is: you don't want to dry off your face with the same part of a towel you use to dry off your balls. And this towel ensures that that won't happen. It's yours, for $19. Video below. Look for the wonderful pubic hair in the mouth moment. Me, my balls always smell like the forest. But maybe you know some mook who would appreciate this for Christmas. It makes a perfect combo gift with the Tuggie. Previously in: Male GenitalVertising.

(via) Reportedly Naomi is going to marry the "Russian Donald Trump" Vladislav Doronin at an Egyptian temple. Here, the noted plebe assaulter promotes Moscow's Legend Of Tsvetnoy complex, which is owned by the Capital Group, which is 1/3 owned by Doronin. She ends the spot with a robotic, unconvincing sign-off: "I listen to your heart Moscow. Now you know where I stay." That's a good, obedient wife, Naomi. I'm sure Vladislav has a few more properties lined up he wants you to slink through for the cameras. Just keep thinking about those zeroes after his name, darling. Previously: Naomi tortures/comforts Russian mobster (nsfw) • mini Naomi terrorizes sleeping maid.

Watch YouTube's Ad of the Year Winner.

(via) Chances are, you've maybe already seen it, as it has over 11 million views. It is undeniably mesmerizing. "Embrace Life," created for Sussex Safer Roads in the UK, beat out Old Spice's "The man you man could smell like" and more than 170 other entries. It's the inaugural year for the award, with the winner receiving a YouTube homepage takeover worth £75,000. Creator: Alexander Commercials. Take heed, crusty old school TV ad directors and producers.The video only won a Bronze Lion at Cannes, because: it wasn't created by a "hot" "creative" ad shop. And Cannes is an annual circle jerking side-by-side blowjob douchebag fest. Related: click here to view noteworthy Cannes 2010 winners.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Mildly Funny Commercial of the Day.

(via) Let us end this day with a little laugh. A racist laugh? Maybe. I don't feel like using my beaten to mush brain to figure it out. I just really appreciated hearing that actor say "Tshabalala" five times. So, yes, it caught me in a moment of weakness. Spot is via South African ad agency FoxP2 launching Frank.net, a "life investment" company. Well-acted. Here's the 2nd spot from the campaign. Slightly reminiscent of the classic Sedelmaier-directed 1980s FedEx spots.For your enjoyment, here's an ad roundup of Funny.

German energy company builds igloo made of 322 refrigerators.

(click image, via) Why did ad agency DDB Germany erect this monument to energy waste? To illustrates two points: one, us humans waste a kilo-shitload of energy on a daily basis. And two, to promote Entega as a progressively Green energy company.
Constructed in Hamburg, the igloo of running fridges (dripping wet with irony) was toasty on the inside, while it was nippy outside. The messaging on the sign: "Wastefulness is the biggest source of energy. With more efficient use of energy, Germany could save 40%." The installation was up for two weeks, ending November 9th. Pretty impressive and blatantly contradictory—which I guess if the stunt proves effective, I can forgive. Unlike with this World Water Day promo which you had to waste water to read, or these treehuggers...made of cardboard.
Below, a time lapse video of the making of "Der Stromfresser" (the electricity hog).Previously in: Bullshit Green Advertising.

Fake Dog Shit-vertising of the Week.

(click image, via) Via the Italian city of Scaldasole, ambient parquet floor street installations chiding dog-walkers to clean up after their shitting pooches. Milan ad agency Wunderman/Y&R placed these fake shit marred flooring sections at several key spots around the city. I wonder how many pooches then shat next to the fake shit? And how many owners then left it there? My hope? Many. Note: use a readable typeface next time, over-designing art directors. Previously in Fake ShitVertising: MTV Argentina • Belgian's radio station's fake cow pie cushy shit seats.

When Beavis and Butt-Head do Porn Ads (sfw).

(click ads, via) Uh, huh-huh. Eroticons? Are you dillweeds time-travelers? Campaign for adult video site RedTube, by two chodes at the Escola Cuca ad school in Brazil. I guess the headline is referencing jerking off, though that's an unconvincing way to sell it. Then again, this is coming from ad students, whose experience with condoms—and by extension, vagina (or ass)—is almost certainly very limited. Ad students from around the world? 1) This is how to advertise porn/sex (TV, TV, print) and 2) don't put porn ads in your portfolio.

Blow Job Ad of the Week: Flirt Vodka.

(click ad, via) While doing one of my near daily searches for the most ridiculously sexist ads from around the world, I came upon (shut-up) this beaut from 2005 for the Bulgarian spirit. Which is actually not the worst/best sexist Flirt ad ever (that would be this one). Headline translation: Are you ready for tonight? I guess the titted angel is the Flirt mascot, notching another conquest for our drunk-driving hero? More like, Vulgarians (sorry).Previously in: Blow Job Ad of the Week.

INSANE anti-alcohol Tokyo subway poster from 1976.

Translation, according to Vintage Ads: "I look like Santa because you've had too much to drink. It's only October. If you drink, be considerate of the other passengers." Ha, WHAT?!? Does anybody know Japanese to confirm this translation (Confirmed. See comments.)? The content on Vintage Ads is usually very reliable. And the Japanese are famous for their quirky subway etiquette posters (here's some recent ones).

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Design/Star Wars nerds: Your heads are about to explode.

(click ads, via) Ooooh, set your genitals to stunned, it's Lord Vader and Master Yoda made of fonts! The ads are for/by Italian design firm H-57, who could certainly use a better designed homepage. Sue the force out of 'em, Lucas. For you font dorks, here's two slick ads from 2008 for a German type house. And for you Star Wars dipshits, here's three previous instances of illicit Vadertising.

(click ads, via) This Reporters Without Borders campaign via Belgium probably won't impel you to help the detained scribes, but it might get you to stop gnawing on your damn pens, you nervous ninny. Very nice art direction, though. Ad agency: Publicis Belgium. Previously, the organization turned the tables on Kim Jong-il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad by torturing them, with Photoshop. Napoleon once said: "I fear the newspapers more than a hundred thousand bayonets." Today, Sarkozy just hides like a pussy behind the French flag.

Mentally ill people killing themselves is f*cking hilarious!

(via) SNICKER! Every time you pop a balloon, a cra-cra person dies! Pitch-idiotic spot for the Bipolar Education Foundation of Australia, by the clowns at Saatchi & Saatchi Sydney. The ad is depressing the Aussie press! Killjoys. It's just the latest example of inappropriate PSA ad humor by ad agencies a little too concerned with winning ad awards. Previous examples:• Anorexia in Israel.• Alzheimer's in Serbia.• Alzheimer's in France.• Multiple Sclerosis in New Zealand.• And Statutory Rape in Milwaukee (yikes).

DIESEL's slutty shoot at the NYC Transit Museum.

(click images, via) First, the Italian brand pissed off the future crows at Brooklyn Law School by rubbing their briefs all over their briefs. Here, models flash pretend platform oglers from retro cars at the City's Transit Museum. (The lower right shot actually looks like it was taken in a current car.) Those men's underpants are hideous. It would appear that, despite dropping Anomaly London as its ad agency, DIESEL is continuing with its edgy, counter-intuitive Be Stupid campaign (mildly NSFW ads). Reportedly, DIESEL tricked both the school and the museum by telling them they were doing a "denim shoot."

Love Christmas? Here's your X-Mas gift-giving porn spot.

(via) John Lewis is a UK department store chain. This is their new Christmas advert which began running last weekend. Does it put you in the purchasing mood here in mid-November? I'm genuinely happy for you. Note: The always intelligent YouTube commentators are crying foul over the sure-to-die outdoor doggie. Ad agency: Adam & Eve London. For those of you who don't love Christmas, search my Christmas Evil archive here and here. And, here's proof that Christmas is Evil. Here's more proof. And more.

Monday, November 15, 2010

(nsfw-ish) The sleaziest Photo Festival spot you'll ever see.

(via) Well, the sleaziest you'll ever see on YouTube. It's...different. And sleazy! Which is today's inventive copyranter theme. It was created to promote the Getxo Photo Festival, "a tribute to the pleasures of leisure." Ad agency: Contrapunto, Barcelona. OK, I'm gonna go do something very non-sleazy, like play tiddlywinks.

(sfw) Erotic Magazine's Bus Shelter Sex Residue Posters.

(click images, via) All-Sleazy Post Monday continues on copyranter with these fake-frozen fuck posters for Norwegian sex magazine cupido. I get, generally, what's going on, but I don't get what the fuck position these copulating couples were supposed to have been in. I guess if Norwegians are familiar with the title, they'll get the drift. I like the starkness. Ad agency: TRY, Oslo.Previously in erotic magazine promos/ads: Jacques (kinda nsfw) • Deutsch (kinda nsfw) • Penthouse (nsfw) • Playboy (nsfw).

(nsfw) Playboy Germany Wet T-Shirt Billboard.

(click image) I've decided to make today an All-Sleazy Post day on the usually staid copyranter. I'm doing this because, 1) it's Monday, and 2) like an erection, it requires no thought on my part. This rain-activated board was part of a Playboy ads from around the world Post on adme.ru last Friday. Ad agency: BBDO Germany. Previously Playboy Germany gave us a fairly clever ad with a naked body parts typeface I called Playmatica (nsfw).

(mildly nsfw) It's your 2011 Coffin Cuties Necrophilia Calendar.

(click images, via) Italian coffin company Confani Funebri is back with another 12 months of dead-eyed women posing with some fine pine burial boxes. You can buy the calendar here. They've been doing this promo since 2003. Here's some pages from the 2008 one. Me, I want to be burned and scattered in the teepee conference rooms of Crispin Porter + Bogusky. Here's a roundup of previous sleazy promo calendars (some nsfw).