Idle Moments

sometimes in my idle moments
that rarely come,
i wonder if
the frequent idle moments
that will surely come
when I’m a wrinkly old woman
will be spent alone.

i’m too busy for love–
glued to my goals
but will the future success mean as much
if i live in an empty home?
right now i don’t know
and i hope i won’t have to find out.
i hope these questions won’t come across my mind
at idle times
because the thoughts on my mind
will be characterized by love and happiness
rather than the prospect
of loneliness.

5 responses

I am that wrinkly
old woman of whom
you speak, am reaching
back to tell you that
I find joy in the voice
you are learning,
making words that
burn with meaning,
leaning into this time
that is prime for one
such as you.

Loneliness is an ugly
thing that can break
you, make you something
you don’t want to be.
Chain those wings
you are growing, stop
whatever knowing is
opening up before you.

The fear of it is even
worse, a curse that
attends us, bends us
into what we were
never intended to be.
Distorted tress that
cling to dry hard ground
because unknown wind
blew them there, where
they must stay, never
knowing the choices
you and I may make.

Fear of a thing can bring
it closer. Turn your eyes
instead in my direction,
see me standing erect
holding out my hand
filled with songs you
alone can sing. I am
not idle, nor am I
lonely but filled with
words, so many words
still unwritten.