Kill the ant

Troy

Posted 04 March 2010 - 05:07 AM

Troy

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8,839 posts

Where ant flung into two parts on the ground. Having recovered from the swine flu (see #18 above) however had left some interesting properties in his body, and the two parts of ant simply "transformed" into 2 whole ants!

But yeah, that tree had been chopped for good and down it fell upon both ants.

(Oh man this thread is so full of win!)

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crooz

Posted 08 March 2010 - 09:12 AM

crooz

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412 posts

This is were the plot thickens. Some of those ‘interesting properties’ gave ant (number 1) a triple thick outer skeletal shell which resisted the crushing blow of the falling tree. His second half (ant number 2) didn’t survive the Big Crush because there was a bazooka wedged in between two branches that fell onto the second ant and blew his brains to smithereens. Ant nr. 1 proceded to the nearest river to refresh itself only to discover that it was drowning because of the heavy triple thick outer shell… several minutes under water.

Strontium Dog

Posted 12 March 2010 - 05:37 PM

Strontium Dog

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62 posts

Ant was struggling under the water, weighed down by his triple thick exo-skeleton when a strange feeling came upon him. His tiny body started to metamorphasize, his body lengthening, an elongated neck, webbed feet, a long bill, powerful wings and sleek black feathers. Turns out he was a cormorANT.

Powering out the water and taking to the air, he gulped deep, sweet lungfuls of air. Flying majestically through the sky, he was suddenly beset by a loud roar behind him. The jet sucked him into it's engine, causing him to become bird strike.

Troy

Posted 15 March 2010 - 06:17 PM

Strontium Dog

Posted 16 March 2010 - 01:30 AM

Strontium Dog

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62 posts

ant deploys his parachute and begins a safe descent

when a plane goes past and the ant gets sucked into the engine

.....which just happened to be on a self propelled glider on which the engine was cut as it reached it's desired height and Ant was millimetres from death. He waited for the glider to land and disembarked. Unfortunately, a passing little boy (who was bug collecting) spotted Ant and scooped him into a jam jar. But the boy had forgot to put holes in the lid. Ant started to suffocate and passed out with only 30 seconds of breatheable air left.

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Strontium Dog

Posted 18 March 2010 - 03:41 PM

Strontium Dog

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62 posts

Or so you would think. The little boy picked up the ant and cradled him, tearfully, in his hands. As the little boy's tears fell on Ant, they entered his body and, acting like a saline wash, rinsed the shards of lead from his body. The boy then fed him a small amount of St John's wort, a natural ANTibiotic. Ant recovered in a few hours and was released by the boy.....only to find that the St John's wort cotained miniscule traces of Belladonna, highly toxic in small doses to ants. He started to feel groggy and collapsed as, one by one, his major organs began to fail