Admitting you have a problem is the first step. It says so in the book for the Friends of (a Different) Bill. I feel I need to make that distinction because everyone knows this Bill has no friends. I wouldn’t want anyone to be confused.

Here’s a list of several pleadings that were docketed today in Hoge v. Kimberlin et al:

Notice that the first two documents listed above are dated May 16 and May 23. I included them so that I could show that the remaining list includes all the filings that have been accepted since that date.

So we have

a motion from Defendant 4 (that’s Bill Schmalfeldt) regarding Friday’s Pretrial Hearing. If I had to guess, he’s probably begging to be allowed to appear via Skype and record the proceedings on his iPhone.

a motion from the Kimberlins regarding Friday’s Pretrial Hearing. Again, if I had to guess, probably a lot of pissing and moaning about not ever going to cooperate with Hoge, not going to show up at the hearing, piss on you Judge, blah-blah-blah.

a Rule 2.504.2 statement from the Kimberlins outlining all sorts of evidence they intend to introduce at trial.

another Rule 2.504.2 statement from Defendant 4 (Bill Schmalfeldt) listing all sorts of evidence he intends to introduce at trial from blogs and Twitter accounts that he told John Hoge he had no way of providing to him when he asked for them during discovery.

Finally, a Motion from Defendant 4 (Bill Schmalfeldt) to Amend his Response to Plaintiff Hoge’s Motion for Summary Judgment.

Wait…what?

Do you think he means THIS motion for Summary Judgment?

The one that was also entered on May 16th, at the same time as Plaintiff’s Motion for Discovery Sanctions against Defendant Schmalfeldt?

Reviewing my docket numbers…I see 151/0 just above right here, and a continuously numbered list running from 152/0 to 158/0 beneath it.

So if Bill Schmalfeldt is requesting to Amend his Response to this Motion for Summary Judgment…wouldn’t there first have to BE a Response to Plaintiff’s Motion for Summary Judgment?

(It doesn’t take a genius to foresee a motion to strike just around the corner, folks.)

But it’s not there. Neither is the promised Response to Plaintiff’s Motion for Discovery Sanctions.

That’s damn strange. Unless those responses were incomplete for some reason related to Rule 1-323? Just maybe?

During yesterday’s wonderful monkey dance by the Great Weeping Pussy of Clinton, Iowa, this tweet appeared:

No one who has observed DUMBFUCK for more than a weekend or so is unfamiliar with his distaste for anyone who sticks their booger vault into someone else’s business. Why who could forget the many times DUMBFUCK himself stuck his own mucus repository into Aaron Walker’s business? If there is anything one can glean from those episodes, one thing is clear: Bill Schmalfeldt has nothing but contempt for people who play a lot of video games.

I guess it’s a good thing he doesn’t know anybody like that.

But I digress.

This coward in Iowa will not put up with people who go and insert themselves into conversations where they haven’t been invited to reply!

Say, what’s my Twitter handle doing in those tweets?

Oops.

I should amend my prior statement.

This coward in Iowa will not put up with people who go and insert themselves into conversations where they HAVE been invited to reply, but who then proceed to thoroughly embarrass and cause to monkeydance the punkass shitsniffing cocksnogger who did the inviting.

Because giant, sand-stuffed pussy.

But really, DUMBFUCK has a long and storied history of whining like a worthless bitch at the following times:

when people stick their booger vaults where he doesn’t want them stuck;

when people call him out for sticking his snotbank where he has no right to stick it;

when people decide to engage the Amazon Vagina Warrior Princess du Jour behind whose skirts he is currently cowering; and

any other time.

So when this tweet showed up in my notifications…

I thought it was interesting, someone sticking their booger vault into something that was none of their affair, to paraphrase an idiot. Unless of course that pussy went begging to his new Warrior Princess for aid and succor. But Big, Bad, Brave Billy would never do that just for someone he knows he could curbstomp, would he?

“NOW YOU STOP RESPONDING TO TWEETS WHERE I MENTION YOU OR I’M GOING TO CURBSTOMP YOUR ASS!!!

Right.

I’m confident you’ll figure out the technique by the sixth or seventh try. Will you be leaning on your cane or sitting in your walker?

He says he has a phone number. He never calls.

He says he has an address. He never writes and never drops by.

It’s not a tough riddle to solve…that puddle of urine isn’t going to mop itself up, is it, DUMBFUCK?

In any case, @redheadturkey was not part of the conversation. Had not even been mentioned before appearing UNINVITED. It’s the kind of thing that sand-packed weeping vaginas like the Coward of Clinton County simply will not countenance.

But what’s done is done. It’s on the record. It’s archived. When DUMBFUCK Bill Schmalfeldt makes CaptiveNurseReno his newest sword and shield, and cries “Look how they treat her…just for being fool enough to fall in love with me! (or words to that effect)” remember:

Reno/@redheadturkey CRASHED THIS PARTY of her own free will. No one had spoken to her or about her…except DUMBFUCK. She stepped up and invited upon herself everything that may follow. I hope she’s smarter than her idiot boyfriend and knows better than to blame someone else for what she just stepped into.

And a last word of caution: The Cowardly Lion will blame somebody, and who’s going to be handy in the Deep South?