Tuesday's Edge: It's a Festivus Miracle!

Happy Festivus, everybody! Yes, just when you thought we'd run out of Christmas-related material, we did! So today we turn our bleery, red eyes to Festivus, the holiday that was born (for most of us) in 1987, in the Seinfeld episode, "The Strike." Let's let the holiday's "founder," Frank Costanza, tell it:

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born ... a Festivus for the rest of us!

The Festivus celebration as described on Seinfeld includes four major components:

1. The Festivus Pole (erected instead of a Christmas tree because it's "low maintenance," and because Frank Costanza found tinsel "distracting"); 2. The Festivus dinner (meatloaf); 3. The Airing of Grievances, when "you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!"4. The Feats of Strength, during which the head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head's choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground.

On Seinfeld, Festivus is held each year on Dec. 23. But in real life, Festivus – invented by Daniel O'Keefe, father of Seinfeld writer Dan O'Keefe – had no set date. It also featured a clock rather than an aluminum pole. "The real symbol of the holiday," said the younger O'Keefe, "was a clock that my dad put in a bag and nailed to the wall every year ... I don't know why, I don't know what it means, he would never tell me. He would always say, 'That's not for you to know.'"

Another new addition to the Festivus holiday are songs, like the following, from festivusweb.com:

Dreaming of a Happy Festivus(Sung to the tune of White Christmas)

I'm dreaming of a Happy Festivus Just like the ones we used to know. Where the pole has no tinsel, And the guests will all listen,To hear grievances aired to one and all.

I'm dreaming of a Happy Festivus, With every grievance that I write.May your aluminum pole stand upright, And may Festivus fun last all night.

May your aluminum pole stand upright, And may Festivus fun last all night.