Wednesday, 10 April 2013

It is said that you can know a man by the
company he keeps. This worries me because the company I keep would suggest that
I am a jerk. But not just a jerk. Many different kinds of jerk. Allow me to
explain.

Here is the problem. I live in two worlds.
World One is the secular media. I’m a professional comedy writer, mostly for
BBC. World Two is the Church. I’m a Christian, mostly C of E. In World One, I
hang around with wiseguys and wisegals, where most are Lefties and plenty are
atheists. People are socially liberal, pro-choice and defer to The Guardian. No joke is off limits.
Having said that, this world is every bit as moralistic and judgmental as the
other world I live in. In World One, I’m the kum-by-yah, insufferably naff,
tragically gullible Christian guy.

In World Two, I hang around with people who
really like the Bible, believe that Jesus came back from the dead, and is
coming back one day to sort everything out. In World Two, people are socially
conservative, pro-life and defer to The
Daily Telegraph. This World doesn’t quite get jokes or irony. In this
World, I’m the guy who writes those shows on the idiot-box TV that pollutes our
living rooms with filth, swearing and strong sex references. (They’re kind of
right in that I co-created and co-wrote Bluestone
42for BBC3).

In both worlds, I’m the jerk by association
with the other world.

These worlds are now converging because of
a book I’ve written called Death by
Civilisation. It’s a light-hearted paperback in which I'm going to look
like an even bigger jerk since it’s a collection of articles (originally from Third Waymagazine) about politics,
media, money and anything else that comes to mind. All mixed with religion.
That’s one heady toxic mixture guaranteed to bring any dinner party
conversation to a grinding halt.

When you espouse opinions on politics,
people associate you with other people with similar views. And these views tend
to come in pre-ordained, clearly-labelled packages. People on the left tend to
be anti-market, anti-foxhunting, anti-rich, anti-nuclear, pro-state, pro-tax,
pro-immigration. Espouse any one of these leftie views and people will
associate you with Polly Toynbee, Billy Bragg, The Guardian and Brighton. Espouse the reverse and you’re with
Peter Hitchens, Jim Davidson, The Daily
Mail and Tunbridge Wells.

So What's the Problem?

The problem is that I don’t feel part of
either tribe. I’m most at home on the Right, which puts me in the company of
David Cameron and George Osborne and therefore highly suspicious to most of my
work colleagues – and my ‘right-on’ Christian friends. But I remain deeply
unimpressed by the Tory party, not least because I’m not really a conservative.
More of a libertarian. Oh dear, more unfortunate bedfellows can be found here.
And in this country at least, people associate that libertarianism with two
different groups of people, neither of which are very flattering.

Group One is slack-jawed, slow-witted
religious extremists who stockpile canned goods and guns in their shacks in the
Nevada desert in readiness for the apocalypse and rapture (because Satan and
his demons can of course be repelled by legally available assault rifles). I’m
not really that comfortable in this group.

Group Two is the over-educated,
sharp-suited angry urban Neo-cons who demand deregulated markets and quote Ayn
Rand to anyone who’ll listen. (Don’t listen.)

I’m suspicious to all of the groups listed
above. I’m in favour of a small state, which makes people assume I thinks the
Market will fix everything. I don’t believe the market will fix everything. The
market is brutal. It should be policed. By the police. Properly funded police.
Not private companies. The government should not be privatizing prisons – since
the state’s main function is the protection of property and the punishment of
criminals. The state gets to have guns. They should have the monopoly on
violence. Citizens should not be allowed guns, so now I’m suspicious to the
Neocons and hicks.

So I’m with the Left on guns. I’m also fine
with immigration. I’m not much of a royalist. But I also think progressive
taxation is immoral, so there goes any support from the Billy Bragg Brigade.

Despite being personally conservative in my
own morality and sexual ethics, I’m reluctant to impose those views on others
who don’t share my evangelical convictions. I’d like to quote the apostle Paul
(I don’t call him Saint Paul, because I’m not a Catholic. See? This is not
easy.) In 1 Corinthians 5, the apostle Paul writes “What business is it of mine
to judge those outside the church?” I agree. If you and I disagree on why we
should even listen to what the Bible says or what Jesus teaches, we’re going to
struggle to have a useful discussion about morality. But conservative
evangelical Christians get very worked up about public morality and standards.
Clearly these things are important when there’s legislation at stake, but as a
rule, I generally prefer to mind my own business. Which makes me suspicious to
them too.

So, I can’t win. All I can do is cite
people whose books I admire.

So Who Do You Want To Be Associated With?

An obvious starting point is PJ O'Rourke, the
acceptable face of Republicanism in Britain. But I’ve never felt close affinity
with him since he’s doesn’t seem to have any overtly Christian convictions.

I’m left with two inspirations. The first
is William Wilberforce – a politician of great Christian faith, courage and
principle. A gifted orator and popular parliamentarian, he could have been
Prime Minister. But he wanted to do something far greater than lead his party
and govern his country. He sacrificed his life and career for the liberation of
slaves. He also wrote a book, which is almost as long as the title: A Practical View of the Prevailing Religious
System of Professed Christians in the Higher and Middle Classes of This Country.
It’s brilliant. He is brilliant. And I would be proud to be associated with
him.

My other hero is also dead. He is the
essayist and playwright, GK Chesterton. He appeals to me because he defended
Christian orthodoxy in such an unorthodox way. He regularly sparred with the
famous atheists of his day, like George Bernard Shaw, doing so with sharp wit
but good grace. He was a preposterous figure – but no-one was more aware of it
than the man himself. He also made a virtue of being impossible to pigeonhole
and so I flatter myself that I identify with him. Not only that, I’ll finish by
quoting him on the subject of politics and what happens when people gather into
groups and parties:

The
whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The
business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of
Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected. Even when the
revolutionist might himself repent of his revolution, the traditionalist is
already defending it as part of his tradition. Thus we have two great types --
the advanced person who rushes us into ruin, and the retrospective person who
admires the ruins.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. And
I haven’t. You really should read Orthodoxy
by GK Chesterton. And if you have time, do please consider Death by Civilisationby confirmed Chesterton-wannabee, James Cary. You can read the book's introduction here.

The Government, The Media, The City, Academia and The Church all all seek to make our lives better, but frequently end up being part of the problem. In his own, inimitable way award-winning comedy writer James Cary stomps up to the gates of these great institutions, rings their doorbell and runs.

Buy the Book

About James Cary

James Cary is the co-writer of Bluestone 42 (BBC3). He also co-wrote episodes of Miranda (BBC1) and Another Case of Milton Jones (BBC Radio 4). He is a columnist for Third Way Magazine.
He lives in Somerset with his wife and two daughters.