Saturday, December 03, 2005

No "in bed" required

I can't believe I've never blogged about this before, but a search wouldn't come up with the key phrases on my site. So, if I've finally gone completely soft in the head and have posted about this before, well...blame it on Google search. But Closet Metro's post the other day made me think of this particular incident.

Several jobs ago, I had the pleasure to supervise a young man who was from China. YC was probably 19 years old, and though his accent was thick as a brick, his command of the English language was better than many native speakers, aside from the occasional phrase like "Oh, sure, make me the escape goat!" that managed to get past the goalie.

YC was working his way through college, on a computer science major, I think, and he was brilliant. He also had a sparkle in his eye and a sense of mischief and good-hearted evil that many people overlooked. I saw it, and did what I could to encourage it, within the bounds of good taste at work. The job he had with me didn't pay nearly enough to take care of his needs, so he also worked the drive-through at McDonald's part time. One day he came into work with the best story ever told 'round the file room (yes, even better than the time EM told us her three-year-old daughter referred to her own genitals as "Francine" and then pronounced in her baby voice, "Francine smells like tuna!" Okay, I did collapse, helpless in convulsions of laughter about that one too, but on with the show).

YC had been at his drive-through station with the headset and cash register, takin' orders and handlin' cash, when a girl drove up and began insulting and mocking his accent through the speaker. When the little cunt finally pulled up to his window, she smirked and said, "Where's my fortune cookie?"

YC looked down at her and said, "Here your fortune: Suck my dick."

I don't honestly remember the rest of the story, as my eyes were full of tears and my ears were full of my own snorts of merriment. I wonder if he continued to work at McDonald's after that. All I know is, he probably makes more money now than the bitch who wanted the fortune cookie.

So like, did she take him up on it? Did they go and make a new definition for "Playland"? Did he dip his Nuggets in her Sweet N Sour? Did she taste test his Big Mac? Did he give her cause to have a big Grimace? Did she Burgle his Ham?