John Barrowman quietens down following successful ear-wax op

Scottish-American singer, actor, dancer, musical theatre performer and media personality John Barrowman is recovering from an operation to remove 2 kilograms of earwax.

The breakthrough operation was conducted by Harley Street Ear, Nose and Throat specialist, Mr Finbarr White after complaints that his voice seemed to be getting louder and louder.

Several audience members of the Saturday Night entertainment show, Tonight’s the Night, had complained of nausea and intense migraine headaches and bleeding from the ears after sitting through just ten minutes of the live recording.

Eighty two year old, Mrs Daphne Wilson from Hull who attended the show with her sister and daughter said, “It started off fine with a big show number when John came out in a beautiful sequinned suit and sang his socks off. Then after his dancers minced back into the wings his voice stayed at about 90 decibels, I was genuinely afraid of the effect it would have on my hearing tissue.”

Lucien Kenwright, another fan of the Scottish-American singer, actor, dancer, musical theatre performer and media personality said, “It was terrible. I’m a lumberjack by trade and my chain saw is quieter than him. I was so afraid that my ears might start to bleed so I stood up and left. He gave me a really withering look and I suddenly saw the other side of him.”

After the show producers received a string of complaints and verbal threats and suggested that the Scottish-American singer, actor, dancer, musical theatre performer and media personality should pay a visit to the Harley Street specialist.

A spokesman for the show said, “Tonight’s the Night’ is about making people’s dreams come true and giving them the surprise of their life. It worked on the latter level but unfortunately it turned into a nightmare too. We understand that John’s operation has been a success and that his decibel levels have now been adjusted.”

The Scottish-American singer, actor, dancer, musical theatre performer and media personality was unavailable for comment and said to be ‘resting’. However in a written statement he said, “Things look swell, things look great! Gonna have the whole world on a plate! Starting here starting now! Everything’s coming up roses!”