Confessions of a food whore and reluctant fan of Antonio Banderas. I realize that's sickening. This blog does not seek to educate, only to destroy. I mean only to educate people about Uranus.

January 9, 2007

TV Thoughts

TV Thoughts

I am finally off my Tivo kick, thank God. For a couple of months I disappeared almost entirely off the face of the internet, fine dining, video gaming, modern communication and the literary hordes obsessed with the written word. In that two months I recorded and watched every episode I could (including reruns) of CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, Law and Order, Law and Order: SVU, Nip/Tuck, Dharma and Greg, Heroes, Friday Night Lights, The Ghost Whisperer, Dancing With The Stars, America's Next Top Model, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives and random episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Voyager and JAG. In between of course, football games on Sundays, Monday nights, the occasional Thursday and sometimes a Saturday. It was like a disease. But then the Tivo broke or something, possibly from overuse and I'm a little relieved. In fact, I'm not certain we should replace it. By the way, I can function on 5 hours of sleep a day and television is a lot faster when you can fast forward the commercials and music montages.

Anyway... So what is everyone doing this Sunday and Monday at 8pm ET? If your answer isn't "Watching the two-night, 4-hour premiere of 24, the best fricken show on the planet" then you can get the hell off this site right now.

Top 5 Reasons You Should Watch 24

1. So that you'll understand how great it is when the whiny little terrorist guy says "You're hurting me" and Jack Bauer says "No... No, I'm not."

2. So that you'll have something to do on Monday nights, now that football season is almost over.

5. So that you understand that the only reason you're still conscious is because Jack Bauer does not want to carry you.

FUCK, I AM STOKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, "stoked." Move on.

I'm in a heightened state of lust right now. Just watched Gary Dourdan and Adam Rodriguez in the same freaking CSI episode. Overload. And let me just have my teenybopper moment, these are the 5 Hottest Guys on Television Right Now:

It's mind-boggling that there are football fans out there who don't watch Friday Night Lights religiously. Kwame and I are so obsessed we actually argue jokingly about who gets to draft the quarterback on the show, Matt Saracen. Kwame wants him for the Giants, which normally would be okay except that the Raiders need him. The Raiders also need their offensive line, Coach Taylor, Smash, Tim Riggins and the rally girls but only Kwame and Geo get that joke because no one else watches it. WATCH IT!!! WATCH IT RELIGIOUSLY EVERY WEEK! (If it gets cancelled, I know where you guys live.)

LOST is also coming back and it's about time. Luckily they will be airing new episodes through the sweeps, otherwise ABC would get a very sternly worded letter. Not from me though, I'm lazy. So from me they would get a very sternly worded thought stream. Perhaps they will finally answer questions like:

"Who the hell are all these random new characters that have actual lines?""How many islands are there?""Is that Juliet broad good or evil?""What is Sayid building?""Can Jin just be shirtless for the rest of the season?""When Kate had sex with Sawyer did she taste Ana Lucia?""Can Charlie please get something, a blowjob, a handjob, a kiss on the cheek, a homemade fruitcake, something? The guy gave up heroin for God's sake.""Doesn't Ranch dressing go bad due to bacteria, when Hurley eats it by the handful?"