"Get used to it, kid. You're a celebrity now.""I thought you had to do something good to be a celebrity.""Not if you do it colorfully."-- Major League

One of my favorite metaphors that I created was describing certain people as being like a bad chili dog -- just when you think you've got them down and everything's settled, they come rumbling back up again and make you feel sick.

Web sites such as Comics Cube! are getting this email from an Alison G (no relation to me, thank God). Some are listing "Alison" as Granito's wife (Alison denied this to one web site, saying she is just a publicity agent. Show me a pro PR rep that will handle a bottom feeder like this):Dear Comics News, Blogs, and Journalists:

March 2011 was a month that the comics industry, and comics fandom, was not expecting! A month where suddenly comics websites became 'TMZ-like', and scandal and tabloid excitement erupted. This was due to the controversial Rob Granito.

We ask you to consider looking past personal feelings and judgement to consider the following:

-A Facebook Group about Robert Granito had over 3,000 members in less than a week

-Websites such as comicsalliance, Wired, and many others made Rob Granito a major headline

-An entire convention panel is due to Rob Granito, called 'How Should An Artist React To Being Granito'd'?

The Blog owner at All Things Geeky even explained how he had thousands of visitors to his site when he had never experienced that before. Rob Granito has gotten more attention and caused more talking amongst his detractors and his fans than any other comics professional!

Now is YOUR chance to take advantage of this red-hot story. As Charlie Sheen has proven in the mainstream media, controversy sells. It has been proven, and suggested by the convention fans blog that Rob Granito is the Charlie Sheen of Comics. And just like Charlie Sheen caused MAJOR headlines with his controversial 20/20 interview, now YOU can get Rob Granito to sit for an interview for your site or blog!

Rob Granito will live up to his image as the bad boy of comics, who admits he has made some mistakes (but who hasn't?) but also points out that comics fandom at large does not know the WHOLE story. Find out how Rob Granito began as an artist. Discover what his experience was with the legendary Dave Stevens. Find out what REALLY went down with Mark Waid. Learn how Rob feels about the comics professionals who have derided his name in the past few weeks like Ty Templeton Jamar Igle, Al Rio, and more!

We assure you Rob Granito will live up to his interview commitments. We guarantee candid, explanatory revelations. Rob Granito proved he shook up the world in March 2011! Now watch him light up the Spring comics schedule. "I will keep going to conventions", he says. Also, why did BleedingCool decide to break the Rob Granito story out of nowhere? Why was it pursued with such a fever? "There is more there that you dont know about", says Rob.

GRRRRrrrr!!! Once again he is trying to latch on to a very well known name in comics that can't argue back because he is dead. This guy is really starting to piss me off (yes starting... remember, I'm mostly detached from the world of comics).

It's even worse with Dave Stevens. Stevens was another of those genuinely nice guys. Everyone who ever worked with him or met him said he was a consumate professional and one of the nicest, most genuine people you could ever hope to meet.

I keep hoping Granito tries to rip off Simon Biessley. Remember, the Beez used to be in a thrash metal band and worked as a professional wrestler, too. I would pay serious money to see what happens.

I know. This level of egotism and self-servitude usually only exists with sitcom characters. You know, people that aren't real and you are grateful they aren't real. The fact that there is a functioning human being who processes this way makes me want to campaign for retroactive abortion rights.