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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Did you know that 89.3% of New Year's resolution diets FAIL in just 3 weeks?

No?

Well, that's probably because I made that stat up. (FACT: 63.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.)

I'm pretty sure most diets do fail, though, on account of their requiring you to eat significantly smaller portions of cake - and, let's face it, that's a trade-off no one wants to make.

Still, for you foolhardy few trudging on in blatant defiance of Mother Nature, your genetics, and the Baskin Robbins large chocolate Oreo shake, here are some motivational visuals sure to make you lose your appetite, if not that spare tire.

Imagine semi-congealed cement. With a chaser of pond scum. And a dead, flattened snake.

Now, imagine washing that all down with a niiice, cold glass of milk.

Feeling motivated yet?

I bet this cake would taste really wet. And Reddi-Whip-ee. And...silk flowery.

This next one has a dual purpose: it will make you want to avoid cake and a career in proctology.

I have no words. And, frankly, the only thing that could follow this up would be...well, this:

RSS Feed Update: Due to excessive internet thievery (boo, spam blogs!) I've finally had to pull the plug on our full RSS feed. We're still tinkering and experimenting with options, though, so please bear with us!

Reader Comments (228)

the blueberries seriously look like someone swallowed the whole and then coughed them back up.... Ugh! I already hated blueberries, but this further cements that.... What is wrong with these people?!?!

Oh. My. God. These are the nastiest cakes ever posted here for SURE. The watery blueberries . . . the pubic hair . . . ugh. But my favorite is the decorator's interpretation of what happened to the Garden of Eden after Adam and Eve were expelled. Looks like it turned into a pretty rough neighborhood.

I think the first cake is actually really well done. Look at the details of the forest! I bet it was done for a boy who has a snake. I could see boys who are SO tired of girly cakes with "blue flowers" for boys just diving into that one. I bet the boy told his mother she was the best mother ever!

The first thing I thought when seeing the proctology cake was "What What In The Butt" and now I can't get that song out of my head!! (google it)

I Heart the rat poo cake. It's wrecky but FUNNY! My family has always had pet rats and I've worked with a local Rat rescue and adoption agency here recently. I think this cake would be great for one of their events!! I'll also have to remember that cake for my Sis's birthday. Rats are her favorite animal.

Sendingtheclowns: I've made one of those Litter Box Cakes before. I brought it to work for a Halloween party and it was a huge hit. Two of the guys were even fighting over the tootsie roll 'poo'!

I guess it just has to do with people's senses of humor and what they find gross. I actually don't think any of today's Wrecks gross. (What's gross to me are the preggo torsos and sonogram baby shower cakes. I cannot fathom why anyone would want a slice of C-Section cake!)

You know, the hairy cake reminds me of the scene from "American Wedding." you know the one--when he shaves his privates and shakes the bath mat out the window, and the hair gets sucked in through the kitchen exhaust fan--all over the cake.

yum.

btw, I guess it's easier to eat the cake if you get a slice of it without having to see where it came from/what it looked like before.

Guess no one ever told the wreckorator that "public hair should not be pubic." Or vice versa.

And has anyone ever ordered blueberry pancakes and they hand you plain pancakes covered in pie filling instead? That was only half as disgusting as that last cake, and I think that's really saying something.

Dawnspring: I am a professional decorator and have made my share of litter box cakes as well at customers' requests. If people stand around saying "Oh, gross...", then I know I've done my job of creating a realistic cake, and earned the money I was paid. There are rarely any leftovers, either :)And in defense of decorators, while there is no excuse for a truly bad decorating job, we can't be held totally responsible for the content of cakes. We provide a service and while I might try to guide my customers in a better direction if their taste is questionable, they are ultimately paying me and they get what they want...even if it is a plastic rat and rat poo sprinkles :)Irene

Add me to the list of people who don't particularly like having to click through to get to the page. I prefer the RSS feed because it is cleaner -- no background graphics, no sidebar graphics, no header graphics, no comments -- just the post content -- and that makes it easier to read and less likely to trigger a migraine.

As a dyed-in-the-wool New Englander, I have to say this. Those are not blueberries. Those are bloated, cultivated monstrosities. Blueberries are the size of peas and have more flavor than water. [/snob]

That said, I don't want to eat any of the other ones either. Well done, Jen.

WV: isold -- I'd have to say that the frosting on that snake cake isold.

@anonymous @ 11:54Jen explained the RSS change in the post. Blame the thieves, not the authors. It's really not that difficult to open a browser page after you get the feed letting you know it is posted.

@all anonymi:complaining and not signing your name is cowardly and reduces your credibility.