A boffin at the Bulgarian national Space Research Institute has stated that not only are aliens living among us, but that they object strongly to "immoral behaviour" by humanity - such as causing global warming. "Unnatural" acts such as use of cosmetics and "artificial insemination" are also frowned upon by the extraterrestrial …

Can I be the first

Gang probing is Ok as long as your name is Flanders.

Nice to see that some foreigners can be eccentric then, I was beginning to worry that it was a Labour spokesperson.

So why are crop circles the method of choice for intra-species communication? what's wrong with a piece of paper, or maybe an etch-a-sketch?

And if they were that annoyed by our behaviour then how come we are still alive (or they are still here)? Oh wait is it like one of those religion-things where people are supposed to believe what you say without asking awkward questions?

maybe some do.

hehe. funny.

if an advanced race came here from another star system or dimension, it's plausible that for them, creating fake documents and infiltrating the computer systems would be a doddle. so maybe some would have a valid visa or any documents they desire for that matter.

or, maybe they wouldn't need a visa, you know, if they had invisibility cloaks or were master hypnotists "you can't seeeee meeee, i am nooooottttt here". hehe.

Oh yes...

Someone's been working too hard

Cut 'em Up

Since the Bulgarian Georgi Ivanov was in space 12 years before Britains Helen Sharman maybe we shouldn't mock. The Britons who have confessed to making crop-circles should be dissected immediately as a precautionary measure. At best, we will find alien intelliegence, and at worst we will lose a few clowns like Doug Bower and Dave Chorley.

Typo?

Wait a sec

It does funnily enough. More than Britain in fact

Britain has only one native astronaut - Helen Sharman, rest were naturalised into yankhood before going into space. Bulgaria has funnily enough two. I know one of them personally from the days I used to live in Moscow and have met the other one a couple of times.

As far as Mr Philipov is concerned, well... Every country has its "special" people. By all accounts - he is mostly harmless.

sorry,

It's a hack

Aliens in the room, and no-one sees them for the mustard

The world basically operates like this: We're in one big consensus reality, with loads of emperors new clothes and elephants in the room with us. Essentially, the majority of the population like their comfort zones and their own little worlds, and the non-terrestrials appreciate that fact, which is nice of them. Personally I think they should appear in the open and go boo, and give a lot of people a psychological collapse. Now, that would be funny.

BTW, does anyone remember that story that made the mainstream media of that copper in Wiltshire who disturbed three "Tall Blondes" in that crop formation in July of this year, and they scarpered from the field like Usain Bolt, only 10 times faster?

Pratchett & Gaiman

explained the origins of the M25 in Good Omens. It wasn't aliens, it was the Baddies From Hell -

"Many phenomena – wars, plagues, sudden audits – have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A."

"In fact, very few people on the face of the planet know that the very shape of the M25 forms the sigil *odegra* in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu, and means 'Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds'."

You would think...

... that if the Aliens were "friendly and wanted to help us" they would implant in someones mind, maybe this dude they "seem" to be communicating with, the keys to clean energy. Funnily enough they havent. I cant possibly understand the reasons why... *rolleyes*

Oh and if they object to makeup it could mean one of two things - 1) there all super amazingly gorgeous space babes, who look down on the earthly womans need of beauty enhancers with ill concealed contempt or b) they are all hideously disgusting beasts that not even a paralytically drunken scouser in a dark alley would say yes to, in which case there worried about losing out to the far superior earth female, especially once decked out in those lovely little enhancers that make us men all gooey! Tough call on which one it is going to be...

planting ideas

well, maybe aliens have been planting ideas in peoples heads. say, we have a fantastic idea all of a sudden.. who's to say where that idea came from.

if someone thinks something is their own idea then they'll probably be much more receptive of it, so it seems to me this would be a good way of doing things. removes the complication of the hysteria and kookiness of 'an alien told me'.

Ok...

Bulgarian airbag

Stooopid aliens - we don't want 'em

..I mean let's look at the 'facts'. They travel billions of kilometres and arrive three thousand years ago. They identify the most advanced civilisation of the time and teach them how to build huge structures. Out of stone. Not steel and concrete - stone.

Then supposedly a thousand years later they move to South America and teach them the same thing only this time they also explain about stairs. Gosh.

Around the same time they build a massive space port on a high plateau but instead of laying down concrete or tarmac they just remove some dust and leave all the rocks and pebbles in place. Clearly the result doesn't work the first time so they keep building runways but never seem to get it right. Eventually they give up, resort to graffiti and give up.

Now they have the cheek to try and tell us how to run our lives and our own planet? I'm sure if they asked us nicely we could complete their spaceport for them and then they could sod off to wherever they came from.

maybe my mistake

Maybe it's partly my fault .As an occasional participant in inebriated Saturday night crop circle activities around Wessex in my youth, it now looks like we did actually get in touch with aliens from another world.

God knows what drunken abusive messages we might have unknowingly sent. I just hope it wasnt the kind that result in a raging alien anger and instant planetary oblivion for earthlings.