January 08, 2017

Endstation | First Ever Short Film (A Conclusion)

So okay. It's done. Or what I'd rather say is: I quit. I quit working on this short film. I quit trying to change things back and forth and to try solving problems and most of all, I quit getting upset over every small detail that went wrong and is still not right. To move on to the next project. To move on to the next big thing. To make new mistakes, to grow. To create more, to get better. So. Here it is. My first ever short film.

What do you mean with "first ever", you're always working on some kind of film? First ever job as the director. First ever own idea and own script. First ever search for actors. First ever Fuck, I want to make this. You know, I've been contributing to films, I've been the director of photography of one, the co-writer, the editor, the actor. But I have never ever had this kind of desire to turn a topic that is dear to my heart into fiction. And it's been a tough journey. From actors that are too petty, to people that cancelled thirty minutes before the shoot, to the final situation where I had to improvise and take the lead in directing, camera and sound. Where I'm at this: A massive massive massive thanks to the people mentioned in this video that were willing to do other tasks too than it was planned.

To quote myself on Twitter (yes, I'm that person): You will never hear me ask whether you liked anything art related that I've done. My arts are my vulnerable point. They're the pure me, so my heart would break in case of negativity towards them. I'm so scared of exposure. But I couldn't do art if I didn't get the exposure, so this is a dilemma I'll probably never get out of.

I'm not asking you what you think about this short film because I'm too scared. But I'm asking you to watch it because it means a lot to me and I just really hope you'll see a little of me and a little of you and maybe a little of the me and you instead of the lack of perfection in every shot (that's the same reason why I decided to publish it).

And to conclude this much too long post: No, I didn't quit photography or blogging or the 365 project - I've just put my almost entire time into this short film during the recent weeks and the next 365 project post is already in the making, so this is just a small note saying: Hey, I'm not dead, but I did this thing that really means a lot to me and I hope you're doing good because it's 2017 and this year your life could change forever, so I hope you do things that make you really, really happy.