September 22, 2009

By the looks of it, summer has gone and fall is here. I really couldn't wake up this morning. Why, I thought, am I using the only bit of energy I have to hit snooze? Why does my body try to convince me that it wants to STAY RIGHT HERE DON'T MOVE. My thoughts automatically runs through the catalog of potential dangers that my body might be warning me of. Nope, just another day. Can you get up now? No. Okay 5 more minutes.

What about now?

No.

*sigh*

After about four rounds of this, I succumb to the excuse/reason/fact that it's because the weather is changing. Bleh.

Facing changes

Aging is funny to me in a head-tilt sort of way. I'll go about my business, and suddenly get slapped with something new and be like, goddamnit! and calm down and learn from it and then get slapped again! and go whoa ho ho ho okay, I get it! I continue about my business, freshly slapped and braced for another one. I'll think I know how it'll sting, but each slap seems just as, if not harder than, the last. But eventually it's the skin that toughens over time, accustomed to the slaps and not minding it so much. I wonder Why are you slapping me? or What am I supposed to do after being slapped? or What the hell is the point?

I can only assume that this is a part of life, and that some of you will roll your eyes at my young'un self and say "been there done that". You could probably interpret it for me and give me advice on how to prepare for next time but really it's not your call. While I fear my words and thoughts will bore you to the point of no return, I also recognize what is new to me is my experience only.

It's new to me to no longer see my parents as my care takers or key keepers, but as humans with faults. It's new to me that I am in fact an adult, and age becomes totally irrelevant because after a certain point, it's a free for all journey with no particular destination. Careers are new to me. Marriage and children are new to me. Shoot, feeding myself is new to me. I think we tend to latch on to whatever makes sense to us and define ourselves that way. But we are no longer children who play endlessly or teens who rebel and wear to'e up clothes.

How about I not take this to a depressing place. That would be too easy. A cop out. A pessimistic weasel.

Understanding why by participating

I find guidance in connecting the dots, by looking at the whole picture from a high level perspective. Suppose the logic that if something is reoccurring, then it is a pattern. And if we see a consistent pattern, we can no longer say it is fate. Out of the hands of fate, we see events and instances in light of reason, more like facts. The patterns I witness become bits of the looking glass through which I understand my world. I start to see through that perspective, translating in that language, in that context. Like, changing weather causes change within us. Or, focusing where you put your energy is one way of managing what energy comes to you. Or, trying too hard or too much of anything is probably unnatural.

All of the above have happened to me multiple times (No, I don't really think I'm hot, but the possibility crossed my mind). Themes, almost, that reoccur to a point of obviousness, like a slap in the face. And simply by realizing them as patterns, I can be more conscious, and choose whether to continue the pattern or not.

What I'm saying is that maybe we should try participating in this whole thing, even on those hit-snooze days. Even when the going gets rough, when things seem to be chaotic and painful and inconsequential, try to find the patterns and create solutions. Find reason and I don't mean spiritually or religiously.. just.. in the context of your life.

September 21, 2009

Do you mind if I just toot my own horn for a minute here? Somehow, by a miraculous fate, I managed to spend ZERO MONEY this weekend.

The pizza that we had yesterday doesn't count because it was for friends and for the meeting, and neither do the groceries I bought Friday that fed us this weekend. Otherwise, no superfluous exchanges of cash and service were made! I'm really proud of myself because it literally took no effort. I sort of recognized as it was happening, as I was cooking breakfast and lunch and dinner, and watching movies I had and going to the park and to a free Yelp event at the Chabot Space Center, but now that it's over, I realize now how good it can feel to be creative with how I spend money.

I think I could adopt this thrifty-spending theme a bit more in my life. I'm not talking like a full-on shopping ban - that would cause me more stress than I'd prefer. I just mean eating at home more, enjoying the outdoors more, reinventing the clothes I already have more. Oh, and getting a bike already. I am all about making these little conscious changes to better my life. How often do you think about ways to improve yourself? For me, I reflect on a daily basis, but to act on what I want/need to change takes a lot more effort. I guess it was just nice to for once not make a huge effort to make the change, yet still reap the benefits from it.

September 18, 2009

[In preparation for fall, here are my sisters and I for Halloween one year. I'm on the left! My mom totally made us those overalls. I distinctly remember her putting her make up on our noses.]

Allllrighty, finally it is Friday. This post-Labor Day week has been really funky, timing-wise. On Monday I spent the whole day thinking it was Wednesday, and yesterday I thought it was Friday already. I really should remember to take my crazy (calcium) pills.

It's been an overstimulating week and I didn't meditate or do yoga once. I feel like I can't focus on anything in front of me, which is kind of annoying when I'm trying to enjoy myself or learn something. I couldn't even decide to actually purchase anything while shopping during lunch, so I just walked around non-committally, pulling clothes off the rack and standing in line to put it on hold, never coming back.

Even working on my side project (which I promise I'll disclose some bit of information soon, sorry for being so cryptic) hasn't felt engaging, which is shitty because I'm really excited about it. Just not this week.

So, I am signing off entirely and going to enjoy the expected heat wave. Wishing for cool breezes and mind-cleansing activities this weekend, for both myself and for you. :)

I just stumbled upon Kickstarter, and am sort of blown away. It's sort of a new online social networking tool that helps fund your next great idea by "turning your networks into patrons". Essentially, Kickstarter is where the worlds of entrepreneurs, dreamers, friends and soldiers collide. I love that its success thrives on word-of-mouth, goodwill, creativity and honesty. An all around feel-good system that I wish I thought of myself. Seriously.

Since Kickstarter is run by a mere 5 members around the US, you currently can create a fundraiser via invite only. You set a goal for X amount of $ in Y amount of days, make a video explaining your project and offer tiered rewards and incentives to people who help you out. As a patron, you can browse and select projects that speak to you, make a pledge via Amazon.com, and spread the word to help them succeed.

If the project doesn't meet it's goal, your pledges are canceled and ZERO funds are released. It seems cruel at first but they explain why on the site and it totally makes sense. Balance is everything, guys.

What excites me the most is rarity of a system where everyone benefits! The patron gets to be a part of a great idea, the creators gain a support system whether or not they are able to reach their goal, and Kickstarter makes a tiny profit if goals are met. And of course, to have the financial support to carry out your dreams is pretty sweet too.

Kickstarter's simple mission reminds me that the formula "less is more" works, and we shouldn't try to get it twisted. I'd really like to pick the beautiful brains of these guys and gals. I just wish I knew how to find them or at least read more of how they started up! Well, if you are one of those 5 geniuses and see this post, and are ever in the San Francisco Bay Area, I'd love to grab a cup of coffee and chat!

I encourage anyone who has an A-HA idea but thought, "I just don't have the money" to follow Kickstarter on Twitter and check out their main site here.

UPDATE: You can also read another great summary I just found by Diana Kimball. Definitely she puts it better than I.

September 8, 2009

I can't imagine an anniversary celebration topping this last one at year 3. We might have to call it quits while we're ahead! Just kidding. But really, it was that relaxing. By the photos above you might think that we were in the company of royalty in Ireland for the Labor Day weekend but in reality, we stayed at the Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay for one night. It was misty but not cold, which was actually perfect for napping on the sand. We had our own firepit on our porch where we watched golfers while sipping wine and discussing ways to jump into the hole in the bush that was our view. We made much needed visits to the beach to and from the resort, a must for the few weeks of Indian summer we have left.

Highlights: Bathing in BVLGARI soaps and shampoos, dining at the Navio brunch buffet and receiving a complimentary (and endearingly misspelled) box of chocolates, contemplating the ocean from a bench on a cliff, oh, and this drive-by shot of dinosaurs at Half Moon Bay!!!

Dinosaurs rock.

Lord knows I've mentioned him once or twice before, so I won't try to make you barf over about how much I love this man. I just hope that he knows how much. More than fresh dill. More than getting mail.

September 2, 2009

...I have a celebrity crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I won't embarrass myself and tell you that I feel like I've met him before, or that I dreamt of him last night. That would just be too much information. I will say that he says some really intelligent sh*t ("Acting is hard to talk about.. if you could talk about it so easily you wouldn't have to... act.", "The future of movies isn't in Hollywood, and that's good news; I've got so many ideas on how to make movie theatres better...") and his smile is probably in the top 3 charm-til-ya-melt smiles I've seen.

In Between Designs is a styling and design blog based in Oakland, California. I've had a love-hate relationship with this blog since 2006, yet time and time again, I find that it's all about the journey.

"When you live in tension, that is the best possible atmosphere for high creativity. Thats where the void is and that's where God is: in between. We need a two-eyed view. Otherwise there will be no charge, no electricity; there will be no joy."