Ruth doesn't know if she wants to live or
die, so she gives herself 92 days to think about it, choosing to mull
over her final decision by writing a diary. Some days are better than
others, but just as she is picking herself up and dusting herself down,
her father is in a car accident. Now they may never reconcile their
differences. And her will to stop cutting herself wavers.

Day-by-day
Ruth shares her suffering for all to see, as if when she dies it will
be a kind of explanation for what she has done. Yet, unbeknown to her,
her diary writing also becomes a form of her own therapy. Especially
when she decides to "live each day as it's her last" because it almost
is. Thinking along the lines that nothing really matters if she is going
to die anyway is a surefire way to stop worrying about what others
think while dealing with difficult situations. But it's a viscous
circle. The more she enjoys life and the people around her, the more
reasons she has to end it all -- before they leave her and it all goes
terribly wrong.

Over time, Ruth learns so much about herself
through other relationships. A couple of times she even proves to
herself that good things do come when you least expect it, and from the
strangest of places. But is it enough, really enough, to convince
Ruth to change her mind when she gets to that last page of her diary
and reaches her final destination, and must finally decide whether it is
all worth it? Has she really got a life worth living for?

On
one hand it starts as you would expect a book of this subject to,
depressing and tinged, no loaded, with sadness. But it's not as simple
as that. Thaw has much more meaning beyond the emotional and
physical surface scars of which Ruth burdens herself with. Yes, I could
sense her helplessness and desperation, especially through her need to
concentrate on the physical (self-harming) to help her forget her
emotional pain. On the other hand, this was also a very uplifting book,
where beautiful discoveries are made during Ruth's search for that all
encompassing magic answer that will make her world better. It may not be
enough to keep Ruth going, but whatever the outcome, what I learnt from
Ruth's problems and how she chooses to deal with them will resonate
with me for a very long time. I truly believe to struggle is to be
human, and Thaw proves this in a way which I can only describe as
a lesson in being human. Above all, Fiona Robyn reminds us all that no
one is perfect and no one should live their life worried about what
others may or may not think. You only have one life, enjoy it!