Fem Flower & My Vulnerable Ego

Even though my ego is stomping her feet and threatening to run away if I d0, I’m going to talk about a drawing I’m working on.

Pattern

Found Flower Pattern

I found this drawing idea by taking another drawing into a kaleidoscope app. I saw flowers in the patterns it generated, and they looked undeniably feminine and very bold.

Outline

I drew a partial line drawing right from the computer screen. It helped me keep the pattern “breaks” in about the right positions so I could accurately add landmarks and that sort of thing.
I’d like this to look like a flower that I found growing somewhere. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that, but at least this step seems like a good start.

The Questioning Begins
In an attempt to stop the embarrassment of a failure, my ego questions me like a detective interviewing a suspect everytime I start a new drawing. My intent, skill, and concept are scrutinized for evidence of wrong doing. Fortunately, the joy of drawing always bails me out and I proceed even if does look like I’m about to commit failure.

Folding Petals

3D petals

The most wonderful thing about drawing happens when three dimensions start to appear, and shading these petals physically felt like I bent them up and over. Aaaaaah! This is why graphite on paper satisfies my desire to create form like nothing else does. I’ve never found another medium that allows me work with form, light, and space in a more intimate way.

Letting Go
Just as a drawing approaches my vision of it, it develops a spirit of its own and demands to go its own way. It’s very hard to release my vision of the drawing and let it determine it’s own face, because that means transitioning from the known to the unknown … along with a huge possibility of failure. My job is to guide that spirit into it’s fullness so that it can deliver its meaning though, so my ego and I step back and only assist as the fledgling idea launches itself. If the drawing fails, it’s because I couldn’t let go of my version of reality and embrace the new possibility.

I’ll let you know if I made the transition by showing you the next steps of this drawing. If you never see it again, you’ll know I didn’t.