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Here’s something we never understood: if we were so good all year, why doesn’t Santa ever want to hang out with us?

Sure, if we were naughty he’d have every right to turn down our invitations to Sunday brunch, or tell us to take a hike whenever we texted him to ask about catching a holiday movie together. But that crafty old sleighmaster always seems to be giving us the runaround. And now the tables are turning. This year, he’s going on our naughty list!

We happen to have a source at the North Pole, and they may or may not have leaked certain details about the advanced Elfin technology that helps Kris Kringle stuff all those stockings in one night. And if our calculations are correct, anyone who wears this 3D Christmas Stocking Sweater next to their fireplace on Christmas Eve should find themselves face-to-face with the big guy!