Temporary

I experienced some difficult times here in the hospital. The first days in the hospital I was sick of the chemo. Adrienne and the kids were in Manila, and my family and friends were far away in Noord Brabant. During these first days, when feeling sick, in my new, unknown, small, and closed room, I felt nervous, restless or perhaps depressed. It was a feeling that I had never experienced before. This mental state amplified me feeling sick.

On the 8th of July, I wrote about how I disagreed with a comment I saw on a friend’s Facebook page. The saying in the post read: “Be brave enough to hold on to the hope that life will be beautiful again.” I ended the blog post by writing “Nonetheless, waiting for better days does not require bravery. I believe that finding a ray of light on even the darkest days is a real test of one’s spirit.”

Even though I still agree with my statement, I have learned that the ray of light on some dark days can be the thought that this negative state is temporary. Thinking back, keeping in mind that this state is common and will pass, is what helped me to get through those days.

Even now that I am feeling better, the thought of being able to go home soon again and hug the children again after almost a month makes me happy.

Perhaps there is something to the saying “hold on to the hope that life will be beautiful again.”