You are in the right time,
All the wrongs are the right things happening/happened to you,
The just and the unjust, liked or detested , everything, everything is happening as rightly decreed.
Fate is unwinding as it was perfectly planned,
Not you neither me can change the lessons that life willingly teaches us,
Are you open to learning ?

Are you at home with falling? Because every time you fall , at your disposal is an opportunity to rise above all, take a new route that leads you home, may be the path that kept throwing you off the cliff wasn’t gonna take you home, and thus it’s time for you search and discover what will take you to the place you’ll feel the most alive. And sometimes its not one place, but many, those many will harbor a different milestone in your journey of seeking purpose and fulfillment.

90% of the misunderstandings, petty fights and hurting is because your mind gives more weightage to umimportant details of your chaos.
Stop letting that anxiety and fears dictate the realness of the issue at hand, and that involves controlling your mind and not letting it control you.
You can be free of most of your “unworthy, not good enough, I can’t do it, this ain’t my cup of tea, may be they are better off without me, I should just shut all out..and all such other.. .” syndromes by first acknowledging how charming your lil mind is and how brilliant it indeed is to make you believe in pessimistic notions so easily, STOP! pause and see what’s happening here, your brain is readily accepting the judgements and opinions of people who want to see no growth in you (deliberately & sometimes they won’t be aware of what they are doing to you), your brain is feasting on your insecurities and breeding the parasites of sucking out all the remaining confidence and self reliant attributes you have, that also involves it will degrade your most essential vitamin of “self love.” Your brain cannot be blamed always though, it is as much a part of you as you are to your entire self, you need to wire your brain and teach it how to operate , how to defy the easily believable junk and feed it with healthy mind diet. Practice forceful optimism, take charge to be mindful, stay grounded, fall in love with a gratuitous living, let kindness devour you, let love rekindle your flames, let happiness and peace be a choice.
You can let the situations aggravate your problem at hand by believing in the unrooted parasites or you can be calm in the fire and plan a way out.

It is easy to keep your mind sane in times of stability but it is the the storms where the real challenge occurs .
Remember, your mind can wage a war or it can smartly end one without violence of any kind.

I can let go of everything I want , if I want to really preserve myself.

In order to fly you need to let go of your ground, you need to choose to feel uncomfortable, you need to defy the nature’s pull against you, the gravity of everything holding you back, you need to plunge and accept that you could be falling face forward instead of reaching heights, you need to know your risks well and choose to kick the hell out of it without spite, do it for yourself only if this is the best thing you can do for you, dont plunge off a cliff someone else has led you to,

you choose your mountain,

you choose your ocean,

you always choose yourself

and you choose the flight

and gather the courage

to spread your wings to soar.

The heart will know where your home is and it will eventually lead you there.

While falling has always been looked upon as an act of downfall or shame or mockery, there are these invisible falls that people have time & again, and I want you, who understands what I mean right here, to know even when you physically fall, even if no one helps you or holds you back, and even if the ground hurts and bruises you or you might have had a much major critical impact, just remember to be grateful for alil while when you can, because it held you, it embraced you and it took all the curses for all your bruises.It was hurt too, the impact is never one sided, there will always be a two dimensional impact when energy strikes.
Similarly, in your subconscious falls, your soul will always hold you. Recognize your inner ground & be grateful that you have a home within you.
Sometimes what I write is not for everyone to make sense & I get that. Some even think I’m crazy & my writings are musings of madness. Thanks that some make it known to me that I can be figuratively a topic of your humor. But I want you, if you are reading this , to know there is more than just one out there who has found alil peace and connection reading just what I wrote. And that for me is more than enough. Nothing is gibberish. Everything has meaning. And no one has to live life as per opinions and expectations of someone else . Live life as you wish & feel it like.Drown in your own madness, for its not misery , it’s a search for something deeper, something immaterial, something stronger & firmer & surreal.
Life is not alone about jobs & money making, it’s more about love, discovering, finding, gratitude & adventures of hopeful crazy.

Remember :And still the earth accepts our falls, welcoming the impacts.
They say pain makes you hard & cold.
If you don’t believe in surreal, supernatural & the magic of the universe, then you certainly aren’t a believer of blessings & God & his mighty plans.

Well sometimes we are faced with both the voice, one that snaps at any progress and makes us believe it’s still less,
and one that pushes us with a gentle voice forward and reminds us each tiny lil step counts.
While you’ll need the harsher one to give you a taste of reality and be your own fair judge, and mentally make plans on how to approach the situation, with worst case scenario and best possible strategies .
There will also be that voice that will tell you to calm down and breathe and take one day at a time. And this is the voice that you need to prioritize.

Often with the lifestyle we are so engaged in, this voice is like a tiny freckle in the space around us, most often it’s the “not good enough” blowing away the hidden sips of joys that breeze through your way.
Take time to understand and to listen to both of them, and then pay more attention to the one that is more gentle on you.
Because through the narrow gentlest stream gushes the most pure, ferocious and magnificent river.

All that snapping and negative motivation will sometimes be alil too harsh on those already wearing out nerves, learn the art of mindfulness. That life is right where you are, breathe it. Don’t chase it, because it’s not something you chase , it’s something you absorb, something you cherish , something you observe and feel and live.

John 11:40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

…………………

They lost a key this morning , and her mom was all crazy and worried and anxious and already thinking of situations that how bad things could turn out because of this, she even started looking at strangers as suspects or should I say potential thieves? Also blaming God in the process and bringing up all the other hardships and questioning Him as to how much more had they to endure. Alice did reprimand her mom to not drag God into this, that they can’t blame Him for all petty things, have some more faith, they’ll find it.

Somehow Alice was so peaceful , even though she did help her mom and dad look around for it. They searched every possible corner but couldn’t find it. They kept looking and in it all Alice kept her peace , calm and faith.

Alice came back in after looking through the garden , it was a hot morning and her gut had a strong feeling that they would find it. She smiled as she looked at Jesus on her altar and heard her mom’s overly anxious thoughts and spoke in her mind, “Jesus, I know you are here and you are smiling just like me, and I also know you’ll help us find it before this day ends. Somehow I just know this. Why else would I feel at peace and not be a worrywart like mom then ? ”

They hadn’t had breakfast and knowing her mom, Alice knew better than to ask her to sit down and have breakfast. She sat herself down at the table and helped herself, watching her mom hustle around , hoping she wouldn’t flip seeing that she was sitting there all calm without a worry. It was an important key after-all.

Meanwhile, her dad had gone back on the path he had gone early this morning to run a few errands and guess what ?

He found the key sitting proudly at a stop he had had this morning.

Lucky him ? Or Amazing faith?

Alice thanked God in her rejoicing heart and had a smug smile as she looked right at her mom while she exclaimed , “Praise you Jesus!”.

Her mom was indeed alil stunned. She did try hiding the obvious though.

Isn’t it so extremely beautiful when you are so certain that God will lead you to the one thing you are earnestly looking for and that is exactly what you find waiting for you, like it was just meant to happen ?

Alice had faith , peace and the power of the Holy spirit in her. It was like she was casually conversing with Jesus, like this was all their naughty plan to create alil hustle in the calm. Alice did not ask God to help find the lost key. Alice knew that Jesus would lead them to it, so sure that she knew it was before the day ends . Much better, they found it the same morning, a matter of a few hours.

What a peculiar faith ?

She did not order God or gave him a set of instructions on how she wants things or when and where should the key be found. She simply said , ‘Jesus I know this is your doing, and I know you’ll show us the way. You will give us what we are looking for.’

In His time, Jesus not only did exactly what He would, but He also made His time inclined with Her’s.

Aren’t we all Alice’s mom most often ? Worrying way too much and taking off our frustrations on the people around ? Blaming God because we often can’t find what we are looking for ? Remembering all the bad things, listing them up and questioning the King of Glory of what do we glorify Him about? Sometimes we know what we are looking for and sometimes we don’t, but we are so involved in the what ifs, why not, how, what , when , where, why – that we fail to acknowledge the mastermind planning the hustle.

He stands patiently beside us and wait for us to become Alice. To remain calm and peaceful, and that can only happen when we can have a faith like her. A faith that is strong enough to be unbelievably brave in the storms and chaos and to know that there is everything good about the storm, the best is to have Jesus beside us, to realize the storm is not really a storm but our humane brain weaving a trap that is eroding our peace.

He waits patiently for us to become like Alice and talk to Him; To show confidence in Him rather than blaming and bringing up all the adversities that actually helped us to be where we are; To not forget the good that we reaped in the bad; To not ask Him for help but to accept the fact that He will help us regardless we ask for help or not if only we have more faith in Him than our situations.

He waits for us to acknowledge that it is not the situation that should rule our mind but our faith that should lead us through our mindtraps and rough patches.

And He also smiles and waits for us to have a heart of gratitude in it all.

How beautiful is the faith of Alice? Alice knew losing the key would be really a bad thing to happen, and while her mom’s worry was reasonable, what was unreasonable was that her mom let her worry make her see innocent people as potential thieves, much worse she relived all the past anxieties and fears and had not yet realised what greater blessings God had given them, she knew about them, yet in such times, her mom failed to weigh that their blessings were so much more profound, cherishable and generously given.

Alice knew all this. And even though she was the child, she was in a better place to understand How great and magnificent are the ways in which our Lord works.

Age does not count to confirm the intensity of one’s faith, a child may have a faith that is brighter and fiercer than that of an experienced older person.

Reach a state of calm like Alice, whether you lose a key or something or someone, whether you are waiting for someone or something, know in your heart that Jesus will lead you to it. Infact, be certain He is already leading you to it. Don’t stop looking. Don’t stop believing. And start talking to Him. He is listening and waiting to talk to us.

We all know this scripture that says, “Faith in God can move mountains ” , well we won’t need Him to move mountains for us, maybe a small stone, but often we’ll make these small stones seem like humongous godzilla’s chasing our leftover peace, sounds funny right ? But it does become gravely seriously when you are living in a situation like so. The situation can be assumed to be overwhelming as we let our mind weave a web about it’s enormity, half the problem is actually not even real, 98% of our worry we can do without, they are just our fears and anxiety resurfacing at the forefront wanting attention, and most often we give in. Try not. How ? Work on that faith sweets, Read His word, accept it and let it live in you.

Just imagine Him sitting beside you with a smile, in every situation, imagine Him stand by you and feel that sense of privilege that you know He is just there and only you can see Him with your eyes of faith, but the person before you can’t. Let this be your thing, like He is invisible to the world you interact with but very visible to your heart and mind and soul. And may be you could even let some know of His presence and how wonderful He is and let them too, have a secret friend at their side at all times ?

Sometimes we need to sit calm, and think how would Jesus want us to feel in a situation like so, ask Him if you want, ask aloud , what would He expect us to do ? And mind you , you will always find the answer almost clashing with the way you’d be feeling or thinking. And if there seem to be no clashes, you will have found the calm and peace you’ll have when there is faith radiating in your breath. You will not question Him then because you will automatically think and feel like He wants you to.

Stay vibrant in Jesus. Bless you. Bless sweet Alice and her mom and their family. And bless you all in your journey of finding your peace.

I’m not sure if I’m far too late, but as they say, better late than never.

To the professor I forgive but will never forget and to the me that was too absorbed in the moment.

It was just an ordinary day, we were swooped with events coming up. College was simply buzzing with excitement of rushing through the syllabus and muddling through various events, fetching laurels and keeping a stable fame going and that having said , it was my final year there.

I was asked to meet with a sweet professor , Mrs.A, just after the recess (break) to plan an event and get info so I could work on my compering skills alil better. And so as I made my way towards the place she asked me to wait, I heard a man screaming black and blue and white, it took me a moment to realise he was indeed taking the brunt of his pent up frustrations on me. And dare I utter a word in my defense I was told I had no right to speak, I was mannerless and a “Nothing” , a hell lot many things, and also that my parents had failed miserably in my upbringing; now that struck a chord too deep. (He was a professor in the college as well, just never been my professor.)

One: my upbringing was/is utter perfection, I had just the right manners and modesty to never raise my voice at elders especially not professors. NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO QUESTION THAT.

Two: I am an Ace. Success has always been my friend. I hustle and work hard, I’ve not got everything that I achieved, easily served on a platter. I am most definitely not a “Nothing.”

Three: Students are the assets a professor should feel blessed to nurture and mould, they are not your personal punching bag. Especially, when a professor knows not a thing about me, that gives them absolutely no right to be a judge of my character. Honestly, no professor is a judge, you are meant to teach and guide, not give your opinion on someone. That does not come in your job requirements/specification . If you can’t be a motivator to help positive increase in your pupils then certainly don’t be the source of demotivation, humiliation and unjustness to curb the growth. Correct the wrong, but don’t abuse your designation to manipulate the good as well. To be a role model, you have to be a judge of your own character on a daily basis. No one becomes a teacher overnight, sometimes not even in years, your experience and qualification will mean nothing to a student if you dont give them something to remember you by, something solid, something good and cherishable, if that even must be your explaining skills or a just a smile to go on.

Four: I wonder if he ever wondered what did he earn by creating a reputation of terror, fear and bitterness in his pupils ? And that saying, I was not the only one he ever humiliated. The only thing that happened alil differently was, my parents wouldn’t take such an experience easy. Thank God they did not. It did make me feel alot better to have someone stand up for me.

It’s not like I didn’t stand up for myself , no matter how much I felt like shattering in the moment, I did have it in me to soak what had happened before the entire college, and walk to the principal’s office to speak what I felt and let him be a judge. Gladly the professor who had asked me to meet her, Mrs.A, spoke for me, as even she was not spared in the process of very public humiliation.

The other professor emphasized to her and the vice principal that I – a nothing is worth not being the compere of the upcoming event or any event for that matter . He told her that she didn’t know how to get better suited students and something more along the lines, that I was not fit to be in the organising committee.

While most of the college staff actually had nothing bad against me, I don’t really get it how had this professor been so cruel with his words when never had we the chance to even meet, forget greet in my 2.5 years of existence there. Unbelievable!

My fault was that I wasn’t in class after the recess bell, and it was so naturally presumed that I was a lying , manipulative student, ready to bunk and give an excuse of meeting a teacher. When in reality I truly was, even when Mrs. A corrected him that she had asked me to meet her, he gave her a piece of his mind. That was even more uncalled for.

Five: That day I learnt a very very crucial lesson. I had not one friend in that entire damn college who came up to me and say a word or even ask if I’m okay. Not even the one’s I was close to, even after the soap opera had ended. Everyone around was too stubborn on pretending that nothing had happened and I most definitely was either invisible or didn’t exist in that moment. I don’t know what exactly they feared, him or that I would insult them. But honestly it just made me realize, how poor indeed I was in the friends department. The only people who stood beside me was that sweet professor and my parents -despite not witnessing the situation.

I envy those students who have friends to stand up for them, when I do read about similar experiences in the newspapers. I feel sad to accept, there wasn’t a soul among my peers to say a word, until it was too late, like it didn’t even matter then.

May be a reason I am not so close to anyone that is tagged with the word college, I guess.

….

Well this happened almost 4-5 years ago, but it still is fresh.

When the professor did realize the mistake he did have something to say to me, what with the pressure of the staff standing for me, after the scene with my parents, and all. I remember the exact words he said – ” I didn’t know who you were. But you should know that even if I threw gold in the gutter, gold will still be gold, its value will not decrease, it will always shine and sparkle wherever it is.”

I smiled and left.

That man a few days back broke hell loose to ensure it was imprinted in my head and the entire college that I was a mere nothing, and now he parables me about being the gold, in a corridor that had no other soul present. Irony of life . You can humiliate before the entire college, but apologies are to be private ?

The damage was done, it couldn’t be undone, and the fact that I was solely determined that my marksheet would scream that I -a nothing am an achiever of something, had a burning fuel in me. I did it, I was able to get me a 2nd Rank at the state in my bachelor’s degree.

Humor me again, Why throw the gold in the gutter? Who does that ? Oh but some do!

So dear self,

Right here, right now, we have made our peace. But I needed to speak up for the me that stood in shock listening to crude words thrown without sparing any nerve back then.

Time to get it straight , shit does happen. As funny as things recalling now seem, it was indeed a grave situation to be in. Especially feeling alone momentarily and questioning if 3 years in a place had given me even one authentic person to rely on or much less call them friends?

No matter how much time you invest in people, not all are meant to be your friends, some are just strangers beneath the word hanging above their fake facades .

Life is not always about give give forgive, it is also about learning to stand up for your own self. I wish it was me now that was present then, because somehow this self of mine is much more able to ensure no one walks over me and gets away with it.

But it’s okay. There’s alot to learn and kindness will always be our virtue, so I wish him peace who has none, and wish them peace who’s masks life had undone.

May be I am alil bitter about what happened, because it honestly is not as easy as people often preach, I can forgive, and I genuinely have, but forgetting is not easily achieved.

I’m happier , wiser and blessed. All that happened, had to, it made me open up to alot of things, and the main lessons of all were;

One : the entire world will fail you, but parents never forsake their child. Honour and respect and love them for they unconditionally love you. And they stand by you, when no one will. Treasure their presence indefinitely.

Two: Things don’t last. Everything is temporary. It passes. Bad times and good, slip away as you blink. You will laugh at the chaos in time. And everything sums up to this question, “How much are you willing to lose and what all are you willing to embrace in a journey of learning to self love and self discover the infinity of all your abilities?”

Thank you for being patient then. It’s okay that you found it difficult to speak up more, it’s okay that you felt your lowest. It’s okay that it took me so long to put this all into words. But for once , now I can lay this to rest in peace.

All you who have had similar experiences or worse, standing up for yourself should come freely to you, if you are right no one screaming at you has a right to tell you otherwise. Give them time to vent and then ensure they realise it was all futile.

Because no one can take away from you the freedom of speech, a significant fundamental right. Practice it for positive impacts and preserving the goodness, stand up for yourself.

(Well, some would say that I’m making a big fuss about something so stupid but it’s not. It taught me something worth sharing. )