A “Bridge Over Troubled Water”- Londoners Pay $60 Million For Imaginary Bridge And A Dream

With the murder rate raising the panic level of a chaotic nuclear holocaust wasteland fallout infused to a near hysteria due to an intolerable and restrictive firearm policy, the sole escape for the exploited residents of one of Northern Europe’s most ancient surviving cities, surrounds the hope of a garden bridge spanning the Thames. Or more appropriately, there was hope at some point.

In a narrative featuring noxious bureaucracy, boundless greed and the overall presence in intrepid incompetence, the knife crises wildfire of homicides enveloping the city and surrounding suburbs briefly yields the spotlight to a fraudulent scandal of epic proportions, summoning the deductive powers Sherlock Holmes in the ultimate mystery involving the search and rescue effort for reason and a large sum of money. Cue the sobering music.

As with most civic projects that are in theory supposed to be supported almost entirely by private funds, a devious plan of an underlying colossal scam, ended up costing tax payers $60 million in supporting the ineffectual efforts of transforming nothing into nothingness, reports the Guardian. Allegedly actress Joanna Lumley and Lord Davies are at center stage of the current controversy involving a non-profit organization and the misappropriation of funds during the initial planning phase of the bridge. Ultimately, the project left a giant void in the pubic coffers as the planning team balked in securing a viable location for construction, due to the presence of existing high density and lucrative tourist destinations and combined with the challenge of incorporating mass transit into the blueprints of the expansive greenbelt. In the moment of a Dr. Watson style lightning strike of clairvoyance once the morning booze wears off, a component of time measured by the speed of brain neurons, cost overruns ballooned nearly three times the original figure of $20 million in only two years.

The citizens of London proper are quite familiar with the expensive and ugly failures of various megaprojects, including the alliterative visual nightmare of the Eye, an iconic tourist trap known for actually marooning city visitors hundreds feet above the landscape, and the fate of the onerous garden bridge is simply another blunder in a strained ferris wheel car populated by the unscrupulous and the unfeasible.

While the city deals with the reality of mention in the dubious club of global murder capitals, a menacing public health and safety issue exacerbated by a liberal immigration policy, and the presence of blank public checkbook, British nationalists are afforded a limited amount of positive outcomes as to individuals freedoms and accountability existing as crucial aspects of society in the near future. The crises is aptly summarized by the 78-year-old Londoner dutifully defended his wife and his home from a street thug with a knife, and faces the retaliation of the local crime syndicate. The elderly man, and the city, both wait in fright and with inadequate self-defense tools for the inevitable direct blow of circumstance, in battling a powerful and evil foe.