Trying to shove local politics under your nose since before it was cool: Frederick County Edition

Man, how bad is it when even Donald Trump wants to distance himself from you?!

Yokels, if you’ve been with us from the beginning you know that Blaine Young is the reason that we started this little blog. As we read his letter to the FNPentitled:

Blaine Young: ‘Work together, or nothing will get accomplished’

we knew we had to do something. Our first instinct was to go on an angry, drunken rampage through the streets of Frederick. Cooler heads prevailed and we instead decided to start a blog on the corruption and down right craziness that exists in our local government. For almost a year, certain characters have kept us very, very busy. Even the one that promised we wouldn’t be hearing from him for 10 years.

In fairness, or because they wanted us to have an endless stream of material, someone at the FNP has given Blaine a column. It’s always terrible, andtodaywas no exception. Let’s begin with the title:

What does ‘open for business’ mean anymore?

Sorry Hoots, but if we had to endure it so do you.

Didn’t he hear that when Jan took down the “open for business” signs all local businesses, especially hot dog stands, were required to shut down? I mean really Blaine, get with it.

The first few paragraphs are dedicated to educating us to how Democrats ruin everything. Of course! Republicans, on the other hand, would like to get rid of ALL regulations, except those that protect the public. To do otherwise would be picking the winners and losers. Then we are treated to his views on government services (Keep in mind folks, this guy was in charge of our government for 4 years and wanted to become our County Executive. Man we dodged a nuclear weapon!):

Sometimes the government would even go into business competing against the private sector, such as a golf courses, health and fitness, aquatics, nursing homes, entertainment, hotel and conference centers — just to name some categories close to home.

So is it his contention that the government provides recreation and medical services just to stick it to local businesses? There couldn’t possibly be other reasons could there? Like cost, accountability and equal access? Hmm, let’s continue….

Sorry Sprinkles, we’re almost done.

His enlightened views on the tax code:

The tax code is a mess on all levels, local, state and the federal, but we created this mess. We desperately need tax reform and a simpler, more equitable tax code. I’d propose either a flat tax or fair tax. But this will never happen, because politicians would lose the power to directly benefit those who helped elect them.

Sigh, then he meanders his way back to Maryland. You know the most business unfriendly entity on the face of the Earth!? Because folks, no Fortune 500 companies operate out of Baltimore. Thankfully, though, the Gods of fortune have heard Blaine’s cries for help:

It was a major step to elect a governor who understands how business works. Gov. Larry Hogan actually owned and operated a business that employed people. Now, no disrespect to other small-business owners, but unless you have a business location and employ at least a handful of people, it’s hard to understand the everyday challenges that a business owner encounters. In my opinion, career politicians who have never owned a business are the core of the problem, and this needs to be addressed if we are ever really going to have a government that encourages free enterprise instead of stifling it.

Hey Guv, Blaine wants to know if there are any open positions on your staff.

We are happy to know that Governor Hogan employed people instead of let’s say baboons. Business people of course have a perspective to bring to the table. But not the only perspective. So is Blaine actually advocating that business people are the only ones qualified for public office? It sure seems so. Things haven’t been working out so well on that front though:

We have very few business people serving in elected office or who ever aspire to serve. When I look locally, I can only find one, and they are trying to drive him out of business or out of office.

Who, pray tell, is he referring to? A real stumper!

Well, Blaine has a solution to all of our anti-business woes. There’s only one person brave enough to strip all regulations, ban all governmental functions and get this country back on course again! Are you ready folks?!:

This is why I believe Donald Trump has hit a nerve in this election cycle. Some people say we need a successful business person who tells it like it is to straighten this country out. Now, we always want to start at the top to fix our problems but it’s Congress and the state Legislature that needs to be changed first.

“Some people”:

Do these mysterious “some people” really think that Trump is qualified to run the free world because he’s run a trazillion businesses into the ground? Is it a fair trade to elect a racist misogynist xenophobe to the highest office because he’s employed people? How can that be a reasonable action to propose? Oh yeah right, it’s Blaine.

If you do get a chance to read the article, MAKE sure you read the comments. They’ll give you a chuckle or two. In all fairness, not everyone was upset about this column: