So last night, former Thelonious Monster vocalist/songwriter/substance abuser Bob Forrest was on with Piers Morgan on CNN. (Note, whenever I look at Piers Morgan, I can't help but think "smug twat.") Anyway, he was on the program commenting on the Charlie Sheen meltdown. I guess he's a counselor on Celebrity Rehab or something. I dunno. I prefer him as a rocker. The next night, Brett Michaels is on the same show. Relative fame aside, isn't going from Thelonious Monster to Poison's ex-frontman a giant step backward? I'm just sayin'.

Oh wait, threadcheck. Yes, Bret Michaels is in theory a step back, but when someone is a professional attention whore they become so drained of meaning that they eventually diminish to a meaningless cipher, empty of content or context. So it's hard for me to compare him to anything but a bowl of vanilla pudding.

Oh wait, threadcheck. Yes, Bret Michaels is in theory a step back, but when someone is a professional attention whore they become so drained of meaning that they eventually diminish to a meaningless cipher, empty of content or context. So it's hard for me to compare him to anything but a bowl of vanilla pudding.

I once put my penis in a bowl of vanilla pudding. Does this mean I've had sex with Bret Michaels?