Last night I attended a pop up meeting with my writers group. It was the first time I had attended one, so I did not know what to expect. I figured we would all talk about writing, and since it is a Christian organization I figured God would have a prominent part is what we were doing. What I was pleasantly surprised to find was that it was also about our own personal needs, rather than just what we were working on. We were there not only to further our writing, and to praise God with our works, but to get to know one another on a personal level. Deep down we all have needs. We are imperfect humans. We are subject to sin and temptation. The fight is real, and it is a hard one.

Having other believers that I can spend time with helps. The big churchy word for that is Fellowship. You see God knew we needed support. That's why he created Eve from Adam. We need friends. Have you ever known anyone that had no friends and was completely isolated and alone? Often they are cranky and mean. They have an expectation that everything should be the way they want it. Their social skills are somewhat lacking, and they are generally not pleasant to be around. This is not how God intended for us to live. We are meant to be part of a community.

The Bible says that good friends are to be treasured. They are hard to come by sometimes. People seem to have their own agenda these days. When you find someone trustworthy and loyal, keep them close. They are worth far more than money.

I encourage you to find your community, your tribe, your peeps, or whatever you choose to call your own like-minded people. A great place to start is your church. If you are a writer, I encourage you to check out your local writers groups. There are some that have an online presence like Inspire Christian Writers does. With programs like Skype, FaceTime, and GoToMeeting, there is no reason not to have a connection with others. Find common interests and start there. It can be a gardening club, a fine dining group, or people that help the homeless. What is your passion? What do you care about? Find those people and start making connections. I promise you, it will be worth it.

I went to a Biola Apologetics conference this last weekend, and one of the speakers made the point that we have become an Argument Culture. He even had a video clip of Geraldo Rivera and Bill O'Reilly screaming at each other. Honestly I couldn't even tell you what the topic was. I was too enthralled in the fight they were engaged in. This was just two days ago, and I can't tell you what it was about, but I can tell you what I saw.

Have you ever been in a situation like that? I have. Each party is so convinced that they are right, they don't even need to listen to the other. Tempers flare, and voices escalate. At that point, all logical thought goes out the window. I tell my friends that I cry on only two occasions. First, when physical pain is so bad that I can't stand it, and second, when I am trying to speak and the other party won't let me speak. In my house growing up, debate was a sport. To this day, there are people that will hear two words and jump in over the top of you. No rules, equals no communication. No respect, equals no understanding.

Try taking a step back. Learn to see things from the other party's point of view. See what I see, and hear what I hear. When I first tried this I heard, "I don't know what you see." Yes you do. Stop talking and listen. Don't just listen to argue, listen to hear, and to understand. That's what Christ did.

When God created the world, he gave us the Old Testament as a guide. He gave us prophets and the ten commandments. But then He gave us Jesus. Someone who not only came to communicate with us, but someone to listen. Someone to hear and understand. Someone who loves us to this day - because He understands.

So next time you find yourself in that boat, try to be the bigger person. Take that first step back and see what happens. Let the other person talk, and then have your turn. Learn to see what they see, and hear what they hear - and expect the same thing in return.