I think I am (or my place of business is) the target of a renegade telemarketer that I offended the other day by brushing off his janitorial services solicitation. He's crafty. He asks for a vice-president, using some ambiguous term to describe what it's regarding. (I wonder if he learned it from that Peter Sellers movie on HBO.) I'd like to nail this motherfucker. Don't ask me why. As a public service perhaps.

Anyway, I called SBC to try to get a phone number and a block or federal indictment or something. First of all, I think SBC deliberately slows their automated phone menu just enough so that you'll get frustrated and hang-up on impulse support calls like this. It's like listening to that kid in the wheelchair from Malcolm in the Middle. And when you press 0 to shortcut -- like you can on most humane phone trees -- it just starts the seven-option menu all over again.

After I get through that, I'm told by the rep I get that he doesn't know how to trace a call. So I explain the situation and am transferred to the Annoyance Call Bureau, where I sit through another slow phone menu and re-enter my phone number only to get a message that states that the office is open between the hours of 8:30am and 5pm PST. (It's a little after 4:30pm PST when I hear this.) Then I get another message asking me to re-enter my phone number. I swear to fucking god, this can't be necessary. Finally, I get a message saying that someone will call me back on this matter within 1 business day. I'm not holding my breath.

And so pure evil goes unpunished for at least one more day. And the annoyance of incidental ineptitude sails forth unflustered.

If you want to be an annoyance to the Annoyance Call Bureau, by the way, their number is 800-698-7223. Believe me, they're powerless to stop you.