It all went down last night in LA — the holy hotness trinity of Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner (which, really, I don’t see the appeal there) were photographed for the premiere of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

In what was imagined to cause complete and utter fanpandemonium, the latest, and supposedly greatest, installment of the Twilight franchise was debuted last night, and stars like Jennie Garth, the Kardashians, and Jennifer Love Hewitt came out to play.

Oh, when you check out the gallery, be sure to find the up-close photo of Jennifer Love Hewitt. Girlfriend looks rough.

“Evan Chandler, the father of Michael’s first accuser, recently committed suicide. Though I can’t comment on why, I want to believe his conscience finally caught up with him and he was not able to live with himself after destroying an innocent person’s career and breaking his spirit.”

Rossum, who I most vividly remember from The Day After Tomorrow — since, you know, it’s on the goddamned television every three days like clockwork — was most recently linked to Counting Crows frontman, Adam Duritz, and claims that she wants to get into the “artsy” side of acting. Read: her movies have pretty much bombed (with the exception of Phantom of the Opera, of course), not a lot of people know who she is, Broadway doesn’t want her and if this Showtime thing doesn’t work, Lifetime’s next on the slate. And you see what Lifetime did for Leann Rimes’ career. Ahem.

Oh, and just because it’s that ridiculous, I’ve embedded a video for Rossum’s “hit” song, “Falling.” And if any of you say that the song — or the video — is genuis, I’m going to go all biological warfare and bitch-slap you with Snooki’s half-eaten, herp-infested pickle.

“I pounded the pavement for years and I know what it’s like to struggle as an actor. A lot of it is luck and, certainly, a lot of it is opportunity — and the lack of that. So, I totally understand the frustration there … A lot of my friends who are struggling actors are going through the same thing. But, I can’t apologize for it. I have worked my ass off to get to where I am so I understand that struggle. For me, it’s more about hiring the right person for the job. If somebody is cast because they are a name but they’re not right for the job, well, it’s very frustrating.”

Scarlett Johansson on her recent Tony win, and her verbal retaliation to the haters that say she can’t act her way out bags. Yes, bag plural.

KS: I just feel more comfortable, more myself, and I feel less bare. I feel much more like nobody can take anything from me. Before, I felt literally like my chest was cracked open and people could just reach in and examine and pick at anything they wanted, and it just freaked me right out.

EW: You got a lot of criticism recently for comparing the intrusiveness of the paparazzi to rape. The comment got blown out of proportion very quickly, and you apologized.

KS: I’m so sensitive about stuff like that. That is the one subject that means a lot to me … I used the wrong word. I should have said “violated.” But I’m young and emotional. It’s just the way it goes sometimes. I probably shouldn’t say this, but I just feel like people got so excited once they saw that it was me. It was like, “Sweet! Let’s get her!” And then for the people to exploit it under the guise of being morally upstanding is disgusting — and it embarrassed me because I was a part of it.

EW: Did you see it all unfold and then think, I have to issue an apology?

KS: No, I was in Korea when it all got bad. My publicist called me and said RAINN had issued this terrible statement.

I know, with just the headline on this story, that I’ve probably offended more of you than I ever have in my history of writing for Evil Beet, since a lot of you consider Lady Gaga to be a modern-day demigoddess, but you know what? You just need to face the cold, hard truth, and I will not sugar-coat it for you.

Lady Gaga, though innovative to a certain extent, dresses like an asshole. I get the whole “I’m freakishly unique!” thing for onstage performances and what not, but come on. To go to the goddamned airport and, you know, get on an aircraft to travel for more than three or four hours? Ridiculous. What, does she chew on her knees, instead of biting her nails if the plane hits turbulence and she gets nervous? ‘Cause those things are all up in her grill if she’s sitting in a cramped seat even if she does fly first-class.

Anyway, Lady Gags was captured on film yesterday, taking quite the tumble at Heathrow airport, and it was all due to her forty-inch platform shoes. And probably that cape. It looks like a deathtrap, so yeah. Why not. Ready for the tumble?