Sunday, December 30, 2007

A year in review: 2007

2006 was the year I started my life. 2007 will end as the year that I took control of my life. I made some monumental changes, mostly near the end of 2007. As a result of accepting my new position with one of the largest .com's ever, I had to move to the West coast after living on the East coast for 3 years. I'm glad I didn't stay in New York. Every day I was there I felt constricted and confined. I can't explain it exactly. But, NYC and I didn't mix so well. Before I left, I was feeling almost lethargic and hopeless. I took a risk in moving my "life" across the coast to a place I never lived. But, thats what life is about-seizing opportunities.

Working for my new company has its own challenges. The process is much different but I have a lot more responsibility and my manager is completely hands off. For me, this means that he trusts me completely to come up with the right solutions. Each and every day I'm convinced I made the right decision for my career. Sometimes I'm not sure how a state school girl got into a first class company in Silicon Valley, but I try to ignore the middle-class guilt that sometimes plagues me.

This year will also go down in history as the year I grew up. The silly days of me falling in love with the wrong men are over. I think Chris really nailed that fact right into my heart. That fucker hurt me real bad. The realization that my well-being cannot afford to be put through the blender like that was a monumental moment for me. The situation which was seemingly nothing to most outsiders looking in, was actually very emotional for me. I was lead on almost the entire time. But, like everything else in life, I'm sure there is some reason for this too. I learned what I needed to learn from that and I'm going to be more cautious in the future about guarding my heart.

In addition to being the year I grew up, this will be also be the year that I learned about myself. I lived in New York alone. I moved there with no one and for the most part didn't have any friends. I spent a lot of time alone. I went to restaurants, museums, plays, and movies alone. In a way, being alone contributed to my depression, but I like to view it as part of my journey. I sort of realized who I was and who I wasn't. I also realized that I preferred hanging out alone over the people I met in NYC. Being alone isn't so bad, especially for a self-centered person like myself. Being alone means I get to always do what I want to do without listening to the complaints of others.

All in all, there were some ups and downs this year. But, I think the year ended on a good note for me. I'm thinking next year will be good too. Things will be good for you all too. Happy New Year!

2 comments:

i completely agree about the being alone thing. completely. i find that getting to decide what i want to do and when i want to do it is a blessing those fuckers in a relationship will never understand.

im proud of you for making so many positive changes in '07. i believe my year for that will be '08. which is why i allowed myself one more one night stand in '07.