Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Doing Business with the French CourseDiscovered that, unfortunately, slitting their throats isn't an option. Did come to the conclusion that France is wasted on the French however. Confirmed by 5 independent sources today.

Grime IncreaseSome rather fine examples spotted today
"HONK IF YOU ARE GAY" (we didn't...not that there is anything wrong with that)
"OLD MAN" (spotted back of white transit lorry)

Friday, April 25, 2003

Life In the Fast Lane

Splendid journey only last 1.1 Plays of the Foo Fighters Debut Album.

Grime

Grime today had a footballing theme. there was one very artistic
reworking of "Clean Me" which was transformed into a scruffy
"Chelsea". Large Red removal lorry (south bound M23) displayed
"COV CITY FC".

Thursday, April 24, 2003

Grime ReportGrime Graffiti is back. A splendid face of a pig on the back of a loft installation van, West bound M20.

Life in the Slow Lane

Must be Pheasant season...3 perfect road kill specimens in the central reservation of the M26. Slightly foggy this morning. Time delay: Two rather breathy plays of Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush's - Don't Give up.

Saturday, April 19, 2003

Thursday, April 17, 2003

Deck of Cards

"When I see the Eight, I am not reminded of the number of Apache Helicopters firing Missiles at my hideout...there are no Apache helicopters here and I am not hiding..nor should you" - Mohammed Saeed Al-Shahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information, curiously missing from the The DoD Iraqi "Deck of Cards"

Al Jazeera TelevisionIs Arabic read from left to Right or Right to Left? When Al Jazeera clips are broadcast on Western television News stations, the scrolling ticker goes both left-to-right and right-to-left and it speeds up and slows down.

Life In The Slow LaneTop Tip: If any juggernaut drivers ever do read this blog, may I recommend that you always take the first exit slip lane onto the M26 and not the second one, like the Italian driver did this morning, who could then barely get past the Dutch lorry on the inside lane travelling at 0.25mph slower.

Reduction in Grime FiguresNo grime graffiti to report to day, but I did learn that AMOY Soya Sauce is used in 9 out 10 Chinese restaurants. A worrying advertising slogan, seeing as 8 out 10 owners said, their cats avoid Chinese restaurants like the proverbial plague.

Friday, April 11, 2003

Polymer PoisoningWell it seems that there are no ill effects from the plastic tasting campachino ingested yesterday. This is fortunate, as I've just realised it's Friday. Nothing worse than having food poisoning in your own time.

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

Life in the Slow LaneSplendid decision made jointly by West Sussex County Council and the Highways Agency to reduce the roundabout at J10 of the M23 down to one lane. This coupled with the fact that said roundabout has traffic lights on it as well, caused a fantastic jam this morning of approximately 5 miles, extending back beyond J9. Another three weeks of motorway agency madness awaits.