Thursday, 19 May 2011

Question Time quiz

The relaunch of the new season.

David Dimbleby is joined in a special programme from Wormwood Scrubs Prison by

Ken Clarke,{oh dear..oh dear, oh dear.} Jack Straw,{former Labour Home Sec and shadow Justice minister.Currently polishing his left boot ready to administer a kicking.}Melanie Phillips { Oh no..not her.. .}and Shami Chakrabarti {achieving the award for most appearances on a QT panel in a single season.} Don't know who the Lib Dem will be. Huhne? Laws? Give them a chance to check out the facilities..?

This weeks clues are provided by Budgie.Budgie said...1. Huhne: Thatcher was driving, Huhne innocent because he is green?2. Old lady (not Thatcher) visits horses on island off English coast - is this a record?3. Rail tickets to be more expensive, service worse, more strikes, Thatcher privatisation to blame?4. IMF: SK 'haunted by Thatcher' Gordon Brown to take over?5. Rapegate: Ken 'haunted by Thatcher' - Huhne to take over Justice portfolio?

28 comments:

1. Clarke should be raped to see what it feels like...2. Superinjunctions - evil tory idea somehow or other.3. What a Hoon Hunhe is.4. Afghanistan troop withdrawl vs troop cuts - excuse to get the words evil tory cuts in a few times.5. Queen visits Ireland, Zimbabwe to come.

Shame last week didn't count. By my reckoning I got off to a Glencore-style flyer, picking up a barely credible 10 points out of 5.

Alas, I fear it will be back to HMV-style normal this week.

1. Is DSK (allegedy) a good rapist or a bad one?

2. Should the criminal class vote for police-hating tories with their soft on crime and hug a hoodie policies?

3. Who wants to be cellmates with Huhne or Laws?

4. Should (could) the BBC play it totally safe and just not mention or report on football at all? With the form Ken has been in lately, I tip him to accidently let slip who Fred Goodwin has been sleeping with.

5. Continuing the recent trend of constitutional questions no-one is really interested in when there could be questions about queenie's trip to Ireland, military covenant and/or forrin aid: when will prisoners get to vote for members of the "Senate"?

Bonus point if the suddenly and conveniently indisposed Ken Clarke is replaced with a misogynist - say, Michael Winner.

1. Rape. Did Victoria Derbyshire {Sony award winner} do the public a service by exposing crusty old Ken as an unreformed old Victorian type uncaring Tory or did she just keep talking over him so he couldn't explain himself properly?

1. Sentencing guidelines What is the use of banging us up at your expense if you're not going to rehabilitate us and cut budgets?

2. How can we talk about serious crimes if you don't take them seriously? There's serious and very serious. Eh? OK, if it passes a 'threshold' it is serious. It is rape. It can then be deemed more serious. Er? Well, it is seriously about whether she agreed or not but how seriously did she know him? Hang on. How can we have a serious conversation about this now, Ken?

3. Some crimes are worse than others but Huhne, Laws and Fred? Huh? One rule for the rich and one rule for the rest of us. Why should they be allowed to get away with things? Especially Laws. Rule of Law. Accountability. ::[Go Shami Go]:: Perhaps the US has got it right on DSK.

3. Human rights. ECHR. Prisoners' rights. Should they be allowed to vote? Shall we compare them to the chap in Bagram or Gitmo?

4. Was Queen E II right to set foot in Ireland? (Has she gone down a bomb over there? ::[cringe]::)

5. Some totally obscure point about new legislation going through that needs redrafting. NHS/ Criminal Act/ Police/ could be tied in with H of L reform.

1. Was the Justice sec wrong or clumsy. Quite a decent way of putting his rape gaffe. Shami seems a bit nervous. Worried about something? She does, kind of, agree with Ken. For some reason I thought the audience would be only prisoners and Prison officers.

Jack thinks he would have had to resign if it had been him. Really? I doubt it. Straw also thinks the 50% sentence time offis wrong and he's probably right.

Melanie is not in agreement. I think she wants hanging bought back. Mostly for Ken Clarke.

Prison officer makes a speech without relevance and also without interruption from Dimby.He's softer than Ken Clarke's sentencing guidelines.

Q2. Does prison work.Its going to be one of those shows then. Very surprising defence of Ken and attack on opportune Miliband.Gets huge applause. JS talks. I like him. He always seemed competent. Devious, but competent. He still claims crime has fallen 40%. I doubt it.

3. overseas aid ringfencing. Mel bubbles with fury. Not really. Shes as icy as ever. She calls for FA to be scrapped.Lefties cry out in horror at this 'cut'.KC is keen on it.

I just couldn't bear the agony of trying to double-guess some question like "Is it right that Arnold gets off scot free but Strauss Kahn is banged up and what would their sentences have been under your new rape leniency program, Mr Clarke?"