Thursday, April 05, 2007

Strange Weekend Story #2 (a.k.a.Reason #22 Why I Hate Karaoke Bars) There was a surprise 30th birthday party for one of my friends last Friday night. The night started at Waikiki Wally's (which I like), then headed to Second on Second for karaoke (which I most certainly don't like). I was at the bar with my male friend D__ and my female friend S__, and most of the rest of the gang had taken off. Out of nowhere, a very drunk, very large man approached us and said to D__ "Hey, you're wearing my jacket." He was referring to a tweed jacket that D__ hadn't taken off since he first arrived at Waikiki. Now D__ is smaller than I am, and the jacket is technically too small for him, but it's a close-enough fit that he can get away with it. That means that this guy, who is bigger than I am, would not fit into this jacket in any way, shape, or form.At first D__ seemed confused, as we all did, thinking this was a joke. "No, this is my jacket... I got it at a thrift store," he said."No you didn't, I got it at a thrift store. I was wearing it tonight, put it down on a couch, and now it's gone, and you're wearing it," the very large, very drunk man said."Dude, I've been wearing this all night. It's my jacket.""No, it's not."This went on for about a minute, with S__ and myself both chiming in to D__'s defense. And that's when this large man's even larger buddy joined him."Yo man, why you wearing my friend's jacket?"D__ couldn't help but laugh. "I'm telling you, this is my jacket." He then covered up his sleeves and asked, "Does your jacket have buttons on the sleeves?"The guy confidently said "Yeah, two on each sleeve. I also know the brand." Which he did, and proved it by pointing out the label on the inner lining. And that's when his buddy put his hand in my friend's coat pocket and just left it there."What the hell are you doing?" D__ asked. Instead of answering, the buddy then tried to yank the jacket off. D__ squirmed away and starting yelling "Leave my fucking jacket alone!"The guy then said, "If that's really your jacket, it has to be a one in a million coincidence. But if that's how you're gonna be, that's fine. I just think it's bullshit that you're trying to steal my jacket." And he and his buddy started to walk away, causing me to exhale in relief... which turned out to be premature.Suddenly emboldened for some reason, S__ called after them, "So what's your deal? You two boyfriends?"The guy turned around and stormed back. "What did you just say?"S__ held her ground. "What, you're gonna punch me in the face?"I guess this caused D__ to step up to the plate too, because he suddenly pointed at the guy and joked, "Dude, you're wearing my underwear!"The guy and his buddy were enraged and started cursing up a storm. I stepped between them and my friends, trying to defuse the situation, as did one of the bar's bouncers. I'd like to think it was my intimidation factor that caused them to back off, but I doubt it. Eventually the bouncer shepherded them away, with them cursing us all the way out the door. And we stayed for one more drink, then called it a night.

As a postscript to this story, the next day I called my friend whose birthday it had been to tell him the story. And as soon as I got to "Hey, you're wearing my jacket," he interrupted me and said, "Yeah, my brother found some guy's jacket. We asked around to see whose it was, but nobody claimed it, so we took it home with us." Turns out those guys had been a part of our group that night, and he had been wearing an almost identical jacket to D__. Now D__ wants the guy to call him and apologize for being a jackass. Somehow that doesn't seem very likely to me.