I was on a bus with a friend of mine and received a text from this gal about how last night was. Blah blah blah, you should have come, all that jazz. I suggested we should go on an adventure and she was all like, the bestest adventure ever? I say why not. She continues to ask me if she can trust me with her safety. And of course being stoned and drunk and having just watched Superbad, I replied, "the funny thing about your safety (insert name), is that it's located on my cock." I think I've got my alienation of new friends skills down.