Really good except Davis and yolie don't act like that at all. It seems unnatural. There were some other messed up personalities but I'm okay with how ken acted. If you made it longer I'd would have been better since it feels like the story isn't over.

destane lopez chapter 8 . 11/2/2009

i thought it was better then the other ones and more interesting. It makes me realy want to write my own stories.i also want to see what Hikari's mom will do to takeru.i have red alot of stories about digimon and i think that this one is one of the best.i am also seeing digimon all over again, because i forgot most of thing i thought daisuke did't like takeru and would never let takeru kiss hikari ever.

crazy psychopath with an axe chapter 17 . 6/5/2009

you need to make a fucking sequel you made it just like a cliff hangger now i love then but not at the end of a story

A temperature of 112? And it's Farenheit? What the hell? Every other country but the US uses the Metric System. That means that the temperature should have been in celsius, right? and when the temperature is at 112, that's pretty much a dead person, seeing that like, 1 is someone about to die, and since it's near 113, shouldn't she have been dead already?

Great chapter, for Davis' health TK better never discovers he kissed Kari or he will be dead meat XD

And way to go for Patamon, no wonder why Gatomon was like that the next day, she sure never thought Patamon would do a thing like that huh? XD

Also better Veemon didn't do anything to Gatomon, under that bed, guess not because Davis and Kari would have heard, plus Gatomon is a tough kitty, she first claws Veemon's eyes out before he can do something lol

lol! poor Patamon, but he should face it he loves her he was so sad when Kari's mother forbid TK to go near Kari, he even kissed Gatomon passionately so now Patamon be a real mon and face Gatomon and your love for her XD

And Tai should have pounded Ken harder is the least he deserves for what he did to Kari and he is lucky that Kari didn't told Gatomon or else he would be dead by now XD

By the way I loved your final author note, that of Patamon putting a line and Gatomon wiping the line away and saying what line? was so funny XD