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Monday, April 30, 2012

Okay not really but I haven't run in nearly a week! I had a fubar on Thursday's C25k. I accidentally turned the app off and didn't realize it until after I had run a mile. I was so mad! I just left the gym in total disgust with myself. I ran a 1 mile for nothing! So the wrong attitude to have.

After a bit of reflection I realized that i lost focus. I'm doing C25k. My mile time should not be my focus, which is how I turned the app off to begin with, I was trying to check my 1/3 mile time and then again at 1 mile. Fast is not the point! Just running for the 30 mins and then I can worry about the 3 mile time. I've got 18 days to get my ass in gear and be ready to run a 5k.

I'm running tomorrow. I have to. I need to. I need the stress relief. I need the runner's high. I need to accomplish a goal. I have 2 days of C25k left. I can do this!

Friday, April 27, 2012

So on to the how to actually make tear away stripper pants: This is just how I did it. By no means the only way just mine. I did you McCall's Stitch 'N Save pattern #M5504. Pictures are forth coming. Have to find my card reader, sorry. Here is the link for converting jeans into stripper pants.

4: Lay it out/cut it out. I made the M5504 in medium to get a tighter fit. Remember that if you are going to use a fabric with a pattern you might need more to match the direction. If I had been making the shorts to be the final product I would have matched the lions up but it's prototype to I just laid it out and cut.

5. Sew the front to back and then the inseam.

6. Starting thinking. You would normally sew the outer seam next but you don't want to do that this time since you are tearing away at the outer seam. This is where the pants become stripper pants.

7. Bias tape the outer seams. I did this to add some strength; after all, there will be a lot of pulling on this area. I had some single sided bias tape here and that is what I used. I also liked that it help with the hemming since people will see this once the pants are off.

You can see the seam tape I added.

8. Make the elastic casing on the back. There will be holes on each side so that you can add the elastic later. I saved this for after the seam tape so that the waist also had the extra reinforcement.

9. Fold in the front outer seams about an inch. I did this to add extra reinforcement. The pants get pulled forward so it's my thinking this area needed all of the reinforcement it could get. So it will be a double layer of fabric under the velcro/snaps.

10. Make the casing for the draw string in the front. Again you'll have the holes on the sides and the middle for the draw string. Same thing here do it after you use the bias tape and doubling of the fabric.

11. Hem it up. You could save this for after the next step but I hate it when gatherings get in the way. If you do them here everything is flat. Again this is after the bias tape and fabric doubling is done.

12. Add the elastic and the drawstrings. I added the draw strings without much thought. They are adjustable so I didn't really need to measure. The elastic I put in and sewed on one side only. I pinned the other end so that I can measure how much elastic we needed. I hate elastic and I hate ripping out seams so better to wait and get it right the first time.

13. Time for velcro and/or snaps. (I used a combo of both. I used snaps at the waist to give a bit more reinforcement and with the elastic I wanted something with a bit more weight. It also means I left the snaps off until after the fitting.) Leave the side with the pin for the elastic undone at the waist so you can measure out your elastic first and then you sew it up. I used one inch pieces of velcro placed about one inch apart down the legs. We haven't done a test run yet so this might change. I sewed the velcro on at the top and bottom. After a test run I might go back and sew the sides of the velcro if they need more reinforcement.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

So I'm doing a 2 part series on tear away stripper pants. Why two? Well Part 1 - Why is the background story to the making of, while Part 2 - How-to will be the how-to make stripper pants from a pattern or Part 3 - Converting Jeans into Stripper Pants. This way if you care why I started making stripper pants you can get the story but if you want to just learn how you can skip the why and go on to making your own.

Why would I ever want to make tear away stripper pants? It's actually pretty simple, I was fulfilling someone's dream. :) Actually I won't go that far. As you have read in the past, there is a man-child I know whom I call Jailbait (who by the way is actually legal but still the name applies in my old teacher brain). This all begins with him. I'm no innocent. I have been to strip bars in my day but never have I ever wanted to make/wear/own tear away pants. However, JB has been talking about wanting to own such a thing. How could I knowing that I could make a dream come true deny him?

JB didn't have any idea that I actually sew so it's not like he asked me. Since I'm staying home with Ravebaby, I've been looking to get back into my old crafty self. I thought the challenge would be a good brain exercise. Now my bestest friend, Artsy-Momma, can make anything! I mean anything. Just mention it and she will make it. She doesn't need a pattern or anything. Not so with me. If the pattern doesn't exist then I can't make it. So tear away pants were going to be a real challenge for me. For some reason neither Simplicity nor McCall's have a stripper pattern line! I know right. I bet the market is huge. But back to topic, I offered to make JB the pants.

Since this would be a first for me, I had to watch "Sexy and I know it" by LMFAO several times to try to get an idea of exactly what he might have in mind. I kept trying to pause the video on the actual stripping scene but youtube kept stopping on the junk rather than the pants. So that approach didn't help. I did some internet research. Surely someone would have posted step by step directions. No such luck. Wiki-how did have a step by step but I didn't really get it. So I decided the best way to do it was just start from scratch. I found a pattern, fabric, and velcro (hook and loop) but now I needed measurements.

Strangely for a person who claimed he wanted something so badly, JB worked very hard to avoid getting measured! It took me 3 days to finally get that boy measured. I own a self-measure measuring tape but either he couldn't or wouldn't get it on right and give me a number so I finally just put my arms around him and got the numbers. This then lead to the discussion of how tight should these fit? (Oh I also decided to make shorts since this is a prototype; no point in wasting fabric on something that doesn't work.) I decided to go smaller. I mean a stripper doesn't typically wear loose clothes besides these are a prototype.

Once I got started on the actual construction, I took about 3 hours to make the prototype. Again, I had a few stops and starts. There was much discussion on whether to use snaps or velcro. In the end we went with velcro since JB actually wanted velcro and the shorts were for him so he got what he wanted. Shocking, I know. I think the shorts are actually tighter than I thought they would be since he did complain about the tightness. No one has actually seen the shorts in final form on JB. In fact, the shorts are still in my purse since I had to finish them at home rather than at the fitting.

JB still wants pants. Pants were always the actual goal. I'm still not sure that we've worked all the kinks out of the prototype. I mean we need to see if they will tear-off without tearing up the shorts! But I will say that we at least have a working prototype. There is talk of turning a pair of khakis into tear-away pants. We'll see. If it took 3 days to get measurements, I'm sure if I leave JB, he'll take 3 months. My guess I'll have to kidnap him and take him to the store to pick out some pants or I'll have to use my ill-gotten measurements and pick some out.

Today was my Week 9 Day 1 run of Couch to 5K. I really can't believe that I have made it this far. Would had though I would have gotten hurt or just plain old derailed by life. I remember the first day of C25k, I woke up at 7 am and told DH I was tried of excuses and went and ran. Now 9 weeks later and I worried that once I don't have my little app telling me to run that I'm just going to back to sitting on my ass. I have really enjoyed the challenge. I've liked pushing myself.

9 weeks ago I felt fat. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt trapped in a life that seemed to be happening to me. Now I feel like I am happy. I am beautiful. I am confident. I have the nest job ever which is being a full-time stay at home mom. What a difference 9 weeks can make. Running has really made me feel like my old self. The attitude adjustment has been from top to bottom. I'm just plain ol' happy!

So today's run I was inside, which I normally hate but it was just too hot and there was too much pollen in the air. I hate the indoor running because it feels easier than running outside. I also have no clue how far I actually run. I was worried that a 30 min run would be too much. I just was't confident that I could do it. I need to have more faith in myself. I was trying to psych myself up for what I thought was the last 5 mins when the app called time. I was so proud of me. I ran and felt like the 30 mins actually not 30 mins. I was really shocked that I ran and didn't die before the 30 was up. How far did I really run? I have no clue. I hope I can run outside on Thursday so I can get an idea of how close to 5k I actually am. I am a runner, again. After a 15 year break, I have my eye on a race for May 19th, just one week before my 33rd birthday. I can do it. I will do it. I'm almost there.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Ravebaby is a co-sleeping baby. With the exception of two nights, both NICU nights, she has slept next to me. Even in the hospital stay during her UTI thing she slept with me in the hospital bed. About 2 months ago I ended the side-car and moved the crib into toddler bed position across the room. Ravebaby's been playing in the bed. Jasmin (dog) has been taking naps in the bed; that's been a fun training exercise.

I have placed Ravebaby in the bed for a couple of naps but nothing consistent. Tuesday I decided to put Ravebaby in her bed after she fell asleep. It was a strange experience for me. I was thinking about it while I put her to sleep in the mei tai. Once she was out I made the decision to put her in her bed. At first I okay and so was she. I sat down on the bed, grabbed the computer and then I burst into tears! I mean I just cried. So wasn't the reaction I expected from myself. I ran to DH who was on his computer in the other room and just sobbed into his shoulder. Seriously, I was crying.

DH took me back to the bedroom and reminded me that this was a big step that Ravebaby needed and we needed too. He's right. He's been wanting to move her out of our bed and depending on the night, I have too. Ravebaby is not totally night weaned so I've been resisting but I heard several moms mention putting their child in a toddler bed in the room and letting the kid come back into the big bed at the first night nursing. So I went for it. Ravebaby stayed in her bed for 2 hours then woke up and walked over to our bed and went right to sleep again. I watched her like a hawk while she was in her bed. It worked well. No crying barely any waking.

So I'm going to keep trying put Ravebaby in her own bed. The last two nights it's only been for an hour. She tends to move around a lot and once she feels her leg hanging off the edge of her bed she wakes up and moves to our bed. Last night was hard since she fell asleep in our bed. I did let her get into a deep sleep before I picked her up and moved her. Again she was only in her bed for an hour but we'll get their.

I have to admit I like having the bed adults only even if it is just for an hour. I'm not ready to push for her to totally night wean or push her to sleep in her own bed all night but we are both taking baby steps. She is growing up so quickly.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

So I'm on Week 8 Day 1 of Couch to 5k. I really can't believe that I've made it this far. Seriously last time I got hurt on the very first run and then didn't run for 8 months. Yet here I am; I'll be done with the program at the end of next week. Feels so good to be so close!

Now I'm still super slow! At today's run I ran a 12 and 1/2 min mile. That is slow but I ran it and I did two of those motherfuckers at pace, so I'm still happy. Today was the first day I had a 28 min run and the first day I ran a full two miles plus about 1/6. Really and truly for 33 year old,200+ lbs woman who hadn't run in 15+ years that is not bad. Even if it is keep your mouth shut and let me believe I'm doing good.

After my last run, I told DH that there was no way I would be running 3 miles by the end of this program since I was even finishing 2 miles in the running. Today was really the micro win that I needed. I can do this. I can be in 5k shape by my birthday next month. I can really do this! I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch but I'm feeling good and my goal is in reach.

I know that first comes endurance then I can start working on getting my time down. If I run a 9 min mile and then quit then what did I really do, especially if my goal is a 5k? I also need to work on my actually running form. When I get tired I have the bad habit of dropping my head and that only makes the actual run harder. I have to breathe! I need to keep my face relaxed. I need to keep stretching. So many thing I need to remember from my old xcountry days. But seriously Coach use to get on me for not stretching and now I truly see the wisdom of his words. I think that is the only reason that I haven't gotten hurt. Getting fast will come in time. Mileage comes with training. Form comes from practice. I'm almost there. Go me!

Monday, April 16, 2012

So Saturday I watched DH beat someone (Jailbait [JB]) at chess. It was the first time I had ever seen him actually play the game. DH has been playing chess since he was a kid. He has tried several times over the years to teach me. I've tried a few times to actually learn. I can't seem to remember how the pieces move and worse yet I see nothing on the board. Seriously, DH has described being able to just look at the board and see moves and set moves and other crap about moving pieces. I see the squares and that is it. No moves, no cool tricks not even how to lose quickly so I can quit playing.

Really I have no clue what is going on when it comes to chess. Saturday's game has been a long time in coming. JB always has his chess board and plays people at Standpipe all the time. DH has been wanting to get back into playing chess but there never seemed to be a good time for them to go head-to-head that and Cameragirl (an old high-school friend) had warned DH off of playing. She told us that JB was a shark. It is also my understanding that chess takes a long time to play and Ravebaby doesn't like to sit for long periods.

Saturday we were downtown and Standpipe wasn't very busy so the battle was set. DH said that JB is actually very good anyone else he would have beat in a few moves. Again I know nothing so judge I cannot. The game took about an hour but JB was working so between eating lunch and running around making lattes the battle raged. Pieces traded back and forth. Eyebrows furrowed. Quips were traded. At one point JB started rapping; it was my suggestion for distracting DH. Near the end "Under pressure/Ice ice baby" was hummed. Then a huge explosion of people wanting coffee and a Ravebaby in need of a nap. DH did not finish JB off. My bet guess is that DH did have the win since most young men insists on getting the kill and since JB just let DH walk off it must have been over in DH's favor.

It was amazing and yet a little weird that I found it such a turn on to watch the game. Really seeing DH just using his wits and going for a kill. DH and I are super competitive. We are so competitive with each other that Connect Four is banned in our house. Games of Trivial Pursuit last hours and hours, neither one of us wants to give even an inch. Neither one of us is competitive in physical feats. DH has a bad back and knees and I'm just lazy but when it comes to using your brain.

As I said to DH, it's a good thing I never hung around chess tournaments and/or that DH is a good player since apparently I like to go home with the winner. It's fun to find new aspects to our attraction to each other. We've been a couple for 16 years but it never gets old. I'm thinking there will be more chess games in our future. I think I might learn to like the game after all.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

So DH and I were talking yesterday and the subject of the future came up as it tends to do. The question of ultimately what are we working towards being the number one thing. When we were young and stupid (oh wait I did say young) we wanted to be millionaires by the time we were 30. We're in our 30s are dirt poor so that goal changed along the way. We wanted a huge family. We only have one kid and it seems at this rate if we are lucky enough to have another one we'll be doing good. So where are we and were are we going?
The other day I heard "I want to be rich" by Calloway and the thought came to me that I don't want to be rich. Honestly, Biggie had it right, Mo' Money Mo' Problems! I just want to be even. I want enough money to pay our bills. I don't need anything fancy. I don't care if I never have a new car. I don't need a house with a white picket fence. Heck, I'm okay if I never get an iPad (and yes I do want an iPad, I have a birthday coming up if you want to give me your old used one :)). I just want to be able to pay our bills every month and be able to have a little bit on hand in case of an emergency. I just want to be even.
Right now we are far from even. Now that I'm not working, we struggling. It's okay. I don't like this position but I know God is working on me. I know that I'm learning a lot about what is really important in life. While I've never been a super materialist person, I did become change. I developed a taste for electronics and sushi. I'm getting better. My life right now isn't perfect but I'm happier now than I have been in a while. I'm feeling at peace. So maybe I'm poor but God has got this.

Friday, April 13, 2012

So apparently it's going around that going gluten-free is a good way to lose weight. I'll be the first to to tell you that I lost weight going wheat-free. In fact for the first 3 months of going strictly wheat-free I was losing weight so fast it was a bit scary and I was worried about my health. All together I would say I've lost about 30 lbs to the wheat-free diet I know live.

So that sounds great right!? No, wheat but I lose tons of weight. That sounds fantastic where do I sign up? While now that I've been wheat-free for over 2 years, I have to tell you, I'm not strict. Once I backed off the strictness of my wheat-freeness, the weight lose stopped. I've maintained but the losing has stopped. Not a problem for me. I'm happy. I didn't go wheat-free to try to meet Oprah or Miley. My DH was diagnosed with a wheat allergy in 2003. My DD was born with a wheat allergy. I have no issue with wheat except that it causes my family pain.

I've talked about my journey to wheat-freeness before but today's pain is, wheat-free shouldn't be a fad. I really struggled with going wheat-free. I cried. I prayed. I cursed. I wanted a quick fix. I've accepted my life as a wheat-free person. Wheat will never be in my life like it was before Ravebaby was born. Wheat-free is the way I eat.

So back to the weight loss thing. Yes you will lose weight. You would be surprised at the number of things that have wheat. If you go wheat-free, you need to be strict. Once you go strict you realize that unless this is a life/health thing, it ain't fun and you go back to wheat.

Here is the number one reason I say don't go wheat-free unless you have to: It Takes Work! Much like any diet, you have to plan. I have to plan all of my meals. I can't just go out and pick up a burger. No just heating up a Hot Pocket for lunch. No bucket of chicken for dinner. Being wheat-free is inconvenient. Being wheat-free and going out to eat requires you to speak up; you have to pester/educate the waitstaff. You have to plan.

What I miss most of my wheat filled day? Convenience. Seriously, the days of going to McDonald's for nuggets are missed only for the convenience it held. I don't miss the food with wheat anymore. I've found replacements for all of my favorites. I've found food that I prefer wheat-free, like Udi's Chocolate Muffins, OMG! Really, I miss paying $1 for a loaf bread instead of going to the specialty health-food store and paying $5 for a loaf that is smaller.

I have to think out going out to eat; this is especially a problem when I'm going out with others. How about pizza? Sorry, can't Martha doesn't eat wheat. Burgers? Well I can just get it bunless. (Sad looks all around.) Even sushi is a problem. Notice I said I'm not strict anymore. Sushi is why. I never have my wheat-free soy sauce. I have cut back on my soy sauce usage. I try to avoid eel sauce. I love sushi. DD doesn't react so I allow myself to use regular soy sauce.

Like I've said, I would go wheat-free for my family again without hesitation. No hamburger is worth my DD screaming in pain. No fried pie is worth my child being sick. You want to go wheat-free to lose weight, go for it but don't say I didn't warn you.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Ravebaby is 28 months old. I want her to learn to use the potty. I have to be honest, I've pushed her. I've tried and tried to get her to use the potty. About a month ago she started wanting to use the potty. The catalyst? The Potty Dance from Pull-ups. Ravebaby sings it all of the time but if it helps motivate her then I'll be singing it.

I want this girl using the potty. I don't want to buy any more diapers or trainers. I also don't want to have a 3 year old that isn't using the potty at least trying to use the potty.
I like the term potty learning. I saw another blogger using the term and I really like it. It sounds like a more gentle approach. I don't want to push her beyond her limits. I want her to feel like she is making the decisions because she's making the decisions. I want her to feel empowered.

So how am I doing this? It ain't easy. I'm giving her naked time. She enjoys the freedom of naked time and asks for it. She gets more naked time after using the potty or if she's just wet a diaper then I give her naked time. I don't want her to have accidents so I try to set her up for success. I try to encourage her to sit on the potty. She doesn't always use it but even just playing the area is a success I think.

Is it working? Well today I get a poop and a pee in the potty. She started with naked time first thing this morning. It was a risk but I have to let her try. She did start to poop on the quilt but I stopped her and she finished on the potty! Success. I can wash the quilt. She was so proud of herself. Later on she was still enjoying naked time and and started a pee. I caught her and ran her to the potty and she finished there. Success. I want to her learn the feeling of her needs to poop and pee. Maybe I'm taking the long way there but I think she's learning. We'll see.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I feel like I need to change my name to More Boob. That seems to be Ravebaby's number one thing to say. She has a pretty big vocabulary but when it comes to me, she says More Boob. Sometimes she sings it to the tune of Shave and a haircut. Most time its just a demand, More Boob!

There are times that I think I want to wean her. I do tell her no. I don't really want to wean her. I want her to finish nursing when she is done with nursing but there are days when I'm touched out. I want her to leave me alone. I want to keep my bra in its place for longer than an hour. I don't want to nurse her at 6 am and 9 am and on and on.

Most days are not that bad. She's busy and barely remembers to nurse. Most evenings are okay too. It's just when I have a supply dip that she seems to be on me all day. This last week has been hard. My period started unexpected on Saturday. I guess I should have see it coming since Ravebaby had been in my lap all week. Seriously, this kid just knows.

I just tend to get touched out. I love DD and nursing her is a great way to stay connected. But when she's on me like white on rice, I just want to explode. There really are days that she seem to forget to nurse at all. She might nurse at lunch and then at bedtime. That is part of the problem, I get use to not nursing. When she gets into nurse all the time mode, it's a hard transition for me.

We won't wean yet. Even if she just nurses a couple of times a day, they are sessions that keep us connected and ultimately when she does wean I'll wish I had those times back. God willing my daughter will live to be 100 and in the grand scheme of things, 2+ years of nursing will be a tiny speck of time.

I've even started to let her nurse in public again. I keep going back to nursing in public because so many people seem to be against it. If you read Twitter, so many people get brave and diss us nursing mommas. Really most people are too chicken-shit to say anything to you in public. Really, I don't use a cover, I'm nursing a 2 year old and never ever have I had anyone say anything. I guess I feel like I have to put my money where my mouth is. If I want to be an advocate then I have to walk to the walk or in my case nurse the baby. I mean people are really scared to nurse in public. They are afraid someone will say something to them but if they see someone else doing it then they tend to feel more comfortable. Really, the public in general would rather you nurse your baby than hear your baby scream and cry. It's just a little boob. We all have nipples. There are men with huge man-boobs that walk around shirtless all the time so why should I care if you get a view of some boob. My boobs are pretty fab. At least DD thinks so :)

Monday, April 9, 2012

On Saturday, DH, Audrey (Ravebaby) and I went to This Won't Suck '12 in Shreveport, LA. We caught a ride on the Social Bliss Will of Fire van. It was fun! We know Social Bliss from their local jigs and in fact Max, the lead singer, is DH's guitar teacher and DD just loves him. We caught the van at 3 pm and I got into my bed at 3 am. It was a long day. Ravebaby did wonderfully! Honestly she was better than some of the "adults." :)

Before going on the van, I had the unpleasant discovery of my period starting. I knew something was going on with me. I had had no energy all week. I told DH on Friday that I was worried that my hormones were just off. Sure enough, my period started 2 weeks early. I had thought it was time for a pregnancy test but Saturday's discovery proved that would not be necessary. I'm sad about it. I want another baby but I have to trust that God knows best and just deal.

As part of dealing I send Sunday in bed. I was cramping so badly. I hadn't hurt like that in ages. I missed church on Easter. I was just in too much pain. On the upside, my energy is back.

Today I ran my Week 7 Day 1 of Couch-to-5k. It felt so good to run. Just run and think. Think it out and keep running. This week has 3 25-min runs. It felt good to run. I didn't run very fast but unlike my last run with stomach cramps, this was easy and I kept a steady pace. My hip isn't hurting anymore. I'm stretching. I'm adding planks, sit-ups and push-ups. Not too many just a couple to start building up my upper body. So I ran off the weekend.

Here is Social Bliss from Saturday's jig. You can actually see Ravebaby on stage dancing with Girlilla and the Tutu crew.

Friday, April 6, 2012

So yesterday I completed Week 6 Day 3 of Couch-to-5K. It was a 25 min run. My first 25 min run in years! It hurt. I kept getting stomach aches during the run. Every time I would feel my stomach crap I would push myself harder. I was not going to quit! Once I slowed down to my cool-down, I had to hurry to the bathroom, just barely made it. Maybe pushing was not the best idea but I did it! I ran my 25 minutes. From here on out the C25k runs are all long runs. Week 7 is 3 25-min runs. If I did it once with my stomach hurting then I'll kick ass this next week.

I've actually been looking for a 5k to run before my next birthday. I've been dreaming of actually doing some races and eventually moving up a 10k and one day a marathon. I've always wanted to run a marathon but with my ass on the couch for the last 15 years, the idea was just that an idea. I'm looking forward to the push. I'm discovering just how strong I really am. I'm discovering that it's not about the scale or the dress size, it's about getting off your ass. I'm never going to win the Boston marathon but maybe I'll actually run some day.

Yesterday's power music was Wait Wait Don't tell me from NPR. I'm loving listening to Wait, wait. I'm thinking of trying an audio book next. You can download free podcasts from Wait, wait's webpage. If you haven't listened to an episode, do it! I love Wait Wait!