What My 20s Taught Me: Everyone is Faking It

January 5, 2012

Here's me, faking like I'm a middle-aged British woman.

When I worked as a magazine editor, I had a great friendship with our publisher. Her name was (and still is, actually) Brenda. She was in her mid-40s and one of those women who just oozes confidence. She had a wicked sense of humor, a commanding presence, and a really, really nice shoe collection. She’d done very well for herself – an editor by 26 (like me), a decades-long career in journalism, with a knowledge of the industry that made me want to sit at her feet and soak up everything she knew. She was one of those people who knows how to get what she wants by treating people well, but also has an ever-so-slightly intimidating edge – just the right amount to keep people from messing with her.

Anyway, I was sitting in Brenda’s office one day, having a discussion about an upcoming issue of the magazine, and we got onto the subject of fear.

“My greatest fear,” said Brenda, “is that one day, everyone will realize I have no idea what I’m doing. They’ll all figure out that I’m just an impostor.”

I was floored.

“You too?” I asked.

When I started out in my editor role, I was so easily intimidated. I just knew that everyone I talked to – designers, advertisers, sponsors, interviewees…everyone – knew exactly what they were doing. And they knew that I didn’t. I was sure they could smell my fear from twenty paces and, at any minute, any one of them could out me.

Impostor! Liar! Fake!

When Brenda – a seasoned journalist and experienced businesswoman twenty years my senior – told me she had the exact same fear, I realized something that changed my life:

Everyone is Faking It.

The restaurant owners who played hardball as we negotiated the terms of our sponsored cocktail hours. The people at the national magazine office who called up to have a go at me for not running a page they thought I should run. The photographers who wanted their photos published. Brenda.

All big fakers.

And that’s how I learned not to be such a scaredy cat. If 50% of being good at your job is knowing what the heck you’re doing, then the other 50% of being good at your job is convincing other people you know what you’re doing. I suddenly realized that all these big fakers were more concerned with making sure they were faking it well than they were with trying to figure out if I was faking it or not (And I was. A bit.).

Sure, I knew what I was doing. I’ve got a Master’s degree in Journalism, for heaven’s sake. I’ve got seven years of experience in the industry. I’ve interviewed world-renowned musicians, covered murder cases, and edited a magazine with a readership upwards of 75,000. (Am I convincing you yet? I’m a bit rusty at this whole faking thing.)

Brenda knows what she’s doing, too. Trust me. She really, really does. Because, despite her worst fears, you can’t fake it to that many people for that long and get away with it.

The thing is, although we think what we’re faking is our qualifications, our knowledge, what we’re really faking is our belief in ourselves.

Once I learned that everyone – even the Mighty Brenda – was faking it, I suddenly didn’t have to try so hard to fake it myself. Those meetings with the tough-as-nails restaurateurs became a piece of cake, because I was pretty sure they were preparing for them the exact same way I was – by sitting in their cars beforehand (or in their kitchens, whatever), gathering their thoughts and their notes, and reminding themselves that they did know what the heck they were doing; they did pass all their classes in culinary school; they did make a mean yang chow pork and shrimp fried rice(or write a mean lede).

Now it may seem like what I’m telling you is that you can fake it because everyone else is. But, as it turns out, that’s not it at all.

You see, when I figured out everyone was faking it, it suddenly hit me that I didn’t have to.

My false confidence slowly started to turn into real confidence. I didn’t have to be afraid anymore. I didn’t have to walk around thinking everyone had it figured out except me. They didn’t.

The best part about realizing everyone is faking it, is that you get to stop faking it yourself. You get to be totally, authentically, comfortably confident in what you know and who you are.

494 responses to “What My 20s Taught Me: Everyone is Faking It”

Without repeating exactly what Sabrina said, I really can’t thank you enough for this. Perfect timing for my situation and needing a boost of confidence. I can’t wait for more tips on how to survive my twenties, because right now, my 27th year…is seeming somewhat of a struggle!
Love x

this is awesome. i look forward to reading these every week. i’m inspired to do some blogging in honor of my 30th birthday (same as simon’s). buuut, since i’ll be birthing a baby 6 weeks before, i’ll have to start working on it now–along with my 2011 income tax stuff. fun.

Note from Brenda (yes, that Brenda): This is called Imposter Syndrome. I had a boss who had it, too. Even though he was the most competent person I knew, he was sure someone, some day, would uncover the truth … that he was not as good as everyone thought. It’s also a good way to learn the importance of perseverance and the power of confident decision-making. And honestly, it keeps you humble, which is a good thing because, eventually, everyone trips! Thank you, Faith, for your kind words.

So while you’re at the beach reading a real book, I’m sitting at my desk, feeling super unsure of my career of choice, reading this post, and learning that I am more than qualified to do my job and to like myself while I do it.

So thanks.

This feeling of sudden clarity is almost as good as being at the beach with a real book. 🙂

Wow, I absolutely loved this post! It has really opened my eyes, and given me the confidence I need to finish college and start university. I’m an aspiring Journalist, but I’ve always been worried that I’ll never be good enough to make it out there, but reading this has made me realize.. if everyone else can do it, then why can’t I? Well, I can!

Thank you SO much for this boost of confidence. It’s just what I needed.

As a student, last semester was a nightmare. Many people told me I came across as not knowing what I was doing, and they also seemed to enjoy it. The thing is I was very confident that I was prepared to do the job, why? because I had researched, because I wanted to make a change in the life of a group of children even if I wasn’t going to get paid for it and, more importantly, because I KNEW what I had to do to avoid causing more harm.
And yet, I thought that if I acted humble, and “lost”, others would think I was harmless and wouldn’t attack me.
For months I believed I had failed, I listened to them instead of me, I’ll definitely use less time trying to fake it for others and will pay more attention to what I know about me.
Thank you very much for your post.

“The thing is, although we think what we’re faking is our qualifications, our knowledge, what we’re really faking is our belief in ourselves.”

Wow, this was a really incisive post. I’ve often felt like I had no idea what I was doing and I assumed that everyone around me knew what was going on, which made me feel so alone not to mention dumb. But this post reaffirms things for me. All I need is a little confidence to back myself up!

Reblogged this on The Martial Arts University and commented:
I recommend you read this remarkably honest post, which might not – at first glance – appear to have much to do with martial arts, but trust me, if you’re a teacher (right at the start of your career or well into it) you have almost certainly felt the same way at some point.
A terrific instructor, working under Dan Inosanto, called Rick Fey spoke about much the same thing at one of his seminars 20 years ago now. He was talking about how martial arts teachers often make references to how ‘they’ (the ‘old-timers’) used to do it – it being anything at all the instructor was trying to get across to his audience. Rick confessed, “Of course, you know who this ‘they’ are, don’t you? They’re us, you and me.”
You see, credibility in the martial arts really derives from lineage – who was your teacher, who was your teacher’s teacher, and so on. Funnily enough I was talking about this (both the sense of ‘faking it’ and the underlying issue of confidence) to my very talented niece, Sarah just yesterday evening.
Having recently returned from the Wally Jay Memorial Convention – really a celebration of the great man’s life and work, much of which was the way in which he touched and empowered so many others, and having received much positive feedback from teaching there, I could feel myself falling back into old habits that kick in after the immediate post-seminar high. Those habits lead you to conclude that when people seek you out afterwards just to compliment you on what and how you taught, that they must simply ‘being polite’. The truth is that many of the really talented and skilful teachers there probably feel the same way – sooner or later someone is bound to spot that they really should have that 8th, 9th, 10th Dan belt on!
Martial arts training can – and generally does – raise self-esteem, but when you’re trying equally hard not to become arrogant, it can be hard to find a balance, and normal human insecurity kicks in.
The whole issue of rank complicates this in the arts – not that different from Faith’s experience of having to inhabit the role of the ‘Editor’ – and we sometimes spend so much time trying to fulfil others’ expectations of who that rank makes us, and indeed hallucinating those expectations in the first place, that we forget to be our own authentic, unique selves.
If we (I and you all out there reading this – assuming anyone is!) can just remember that, and present ourselves and our work openly, maybe then we can trust the sincerity of the feedback we receive.
Just a thought…

like your style of writing and reflecting…
well if you see out of the perspective of others they want to trust you: in your honesty, in your person, in your qualifications, in your abilities…because they depend on it. Sure you must show them that you have all that. otherwise you won’t be successful for example in a job. but above that all stands honsety. so it is not wrong to admit weak points because that is human and makes a person sympathic.

This subject is beautifully laid out in this blog. This is an insight to us all…especially the part of the secret fears that we will not succeed in our chosen professions. Fear can work for us or against us. It is a matter of our own self-disciple over our own emotional make-up.

Good to know the feeling is universal. I keep waiting for someone to come out and say that I actually don’t know what I’m doing, but I guess I’m playing it off well enough for now, (until I really do learn it!)

It is so nice to hear people admitting that they fake things to impress others or scare them.. Also really refreshing to see that we really don’t have to.. Great post and congrats on being freshly pressed.. A truly uplifting article..
itheendless.com

None of us know what we’re doing, thats the fun of life, we all just bimble through aimlessly, making what decisions we can to make it more enjoyable and a little easier, and hope to fit in somewhere. I guess we all just strive to find ourselves, and if as you say thats admitting we don’t know what we’re doing well… Then I’m an Imposter too!

I did the same thing! My confidence spiked after my 25th too. So cool you wrote a blog about it. I support your story.

Nice! Keep making these discoveries and share them, because like me a lot of people need smart people like you to share the truth behind all the fakeness the world is full off!

People become too insecure, too driven, too everything, because there is no openness. Be true to yourself. Even if it’s sometimes hard to know what is feeling and what’s thinking. But if you try, you will succeed eventually!

This is sooo true.I don’t know how many time’s I’ve attempted something new and unknown.I’ve been self employed for about ten years ,and whenever a customer would ask me if I knew what I was doing or if I could do that kind of thing I would reply with “No….but I can fake it real well” it always seemed to break the tension and make people relax a little.

… just when i thought that forties was the time one could shake off the faking…. you (rather Mighty Brenda) tells me I must carry on… but not worry too much about it.
Great post! Loved it – from one editor (academic books) to the other!

I’m a career journalist now in my 50s. In my mid-20s, I had a boss who used to give me such demanding assignments I would freak out in terror. Why on earth did he think I was capable? He didn’t know for sure, but his willingness to let me try (and I never failed him) gave me the confidence in myself that he had in me first. Great post.

If you stay in journalism you’ll find much chest-beating and ego. Pshaw. Much of it is self-willed.

This is so true, and applies to pretty much every situation, not just the workplace! If you can fake confidence, then you must have some confidence within you that’s just waiting to take centre stage. I realised this in my teens when I was faking confidence to ensure I wasn’t bullied etc. It was in fact real confidence, I just told myself it was fake.

Wonderful post, thank you for this! I’m 26 years old myself and often feel like I’m faking it. But my grandma taught me a while back to fake it until you make it. That’s how she grew her landscaping business. I’m slowly learning to turn my fake confidence into real confidence though. I know I’m a competent writer and editor. There is always some self doubt that goes on when I have a new assignment, but I always pull through, which always leads me to think, “Hey, I’m actually good at this!” Thanks for sharing 🙂

That’s a great way to look at things. Almost in my twenties now, and have had a few pet projects flop precisely because I couldn’t handle the pressure of feeling like I was the only one faking it. Guess there didn’t need to be so much pressure!

So interesting to see how people figure out the truths about the business world. It’s an interesting story because there are studies that have been done that show business owners will hire the confident people vs. people who actually know what their doing. And they reason they don’t hire them is because the people who know what their doing normally lack confidence in themselves because of the people who don’t know what they’re doing you drown them with their confidence….

I’m 70 years old, and must say that I believed what you are saying through my 20s and 30s. It must have been about the time that I hit middle age, around 45, that I realized that I was actually quite good at what I was doing. I suppose that all that faking it had somehow transposed into knowledge. So, keep faking. It will happen.

Amen! There are those days when I realize I’m faking it and it scares me so so hard. When I look at all that I’ve accomplished, I still worry that I don’t know anything at all! But what this article made me think is that, we still have to give ourselves more credit, put on a brave face and get a move on! Great post!

Cool post. Though i would never really admit it (minus this brief moment here), I too fake that I know what I’m doing. However, I fake because of confidence (if that makes sense). I know that even through my errors I can at least come of looking like I know a bit of what I’m doing. And although not everyone will admit it–everyone loves a man/woman with confidence (maybe a tad bit of arrogance).

A massive thank you for this post – I’m 27 and have just resigned from a well-paid career to chase my passion in a career in art, I’m scared out of my mind because I feel like I have no skills/experience (I recently designed a magazine cover and was positive that the editor knew what a huge fraud I really am!). This really was the perfect post to read today, to calm my nerves – thanks again Faith. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed too!
Chelle

Thank you for the post. I am soon 37 and still faking it … somedays being faked out but going along just the same! I am filled with doubt about my abilities and constantly fear that someone will say ” You can’t write so you should really stop trying to be a writer”. Yet, everyday, I find something to write about : a poem, a quip, a rant, life …. maybe one day I’ll really write and leave this “corporate” world behind …. for now, I’ll stick with faking it … life is much simpler that way 🙂

I am 60. I know exactly what you are talking about, but like thegreaseman above, there came a point in time when I realised that I was actually good and those feelings of faking it went away. That would have been mid forties.

My old CEO, Pankaj Kapur, in my earlier company, before I got into something at least partially my own, had a catchphrase ” Fake it Till You Make It “, which always made me squirm. Now over seven years into my own show, I am more inclined to agree with the As You Like It quote of Shakespeare – ” All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women are merely players ” – net effect – we are condemned to fake it, whether we like it or not.

the secret is now out. This is good for up and comers who need a boost in confidence for sure. I know I was a 20’s faker but along the way you pick up knowledge until one day you really are as good as you used to try to make yourself.

I had to run my first dept. when I was 24 and every month I wondered how I was going to exude confidence….like the other managers who were also in their late 20’s and early ’30’s. They seemed so confident. So that was their secret: faking it and growing more confident as they mastered each project.

Long time ago…over 30 yrs. ago.

20’s is the best time to be cocky but others will forgive just a tiny bit more if you fall flat on your face. 🙂

fabulous! i guess for a while i’ve had a more negative perspective of the same issue (that i’ve realized in my 20s)…everyone is a mess! which just means that even the people who externally seem like they have everything in their life put together, actually always have loose strings. and that’s ok. the only thing we can control is the way we react to things and try our best to make this world a better place!

I haven’t read your blog before but I really enjoyed this. I am late twenties and I have known for a while that several of the people around me are faking it but the one’s like Brenda who seem to have it all together, they’re the ones that get me when they make this kind of confession. Knowing this though, I still feel the need to put on a bit of a show considering I’m one of the youngest people in an environment full of professionals. I think age and experience will do away with with these feelings over time but as for right now….I still put on a ‘game’ face before heading into work.

Just the other day, I realized and discussed with others this very topic. The most successful people aren’t honest or hard-working. Maybe a little. Instead, they’re actors. Fakes. Frauds. They lie. They manipulate. Deceive. They brown-nose. Because their goal is success or hierarchy. But charm and charisma is their specialty. One can say that they’re prideful. But I know I’m prideful–proud to be sincere and have integrity. Proud enough that I won’t stoop so low and earn pretentious respect from hords of “peons.” Great entry. Thanks for posting!

Reblogged this on Psychotherapy for the 20-something Soul and commented:
Fake it till you make it. Or here’s a better idea from this awesome writer: don’t fake it at all. LOVE this and I think you will too…

I was telling my 8 year old daughter this very same thing yesterday – it doesn’t matter what you FEEL it’s what you PROJECT. if you project confidence, the true confidence will follow. it’s amazing when you realize the veneers that people present…it makes you stronger for knowing. great post, sister.

Wow, did I ever need this today! I have a client meeting later and was feeling a bit, um, unsmart, but really I am smart {and I have a degree to prove it}.
Here’s what I have learned in my life. Like you, we all have something we do, our job, and we interact with others who do a job. We just need to remember that we are the best for our jobs and they are the best for theirs, no faking necessary…at least in most situations.
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!

Well done. I concur with Brenda (I’m in my 60s): retain a little of that self-questioning, just enough to stay genuine, and then let your innate confidence take you deeply into the journey. Listen, share, and drop the fear. We have a slogan in a group I have belonged to: Not afraid to be a fool.

Great post! I totally agree. I remember feeling that way when I was in my 20s and teaching 36 kindergartners and still feel it now as a mom and an author/designer. It’s hard to get past, but good to realize that we’re all just getting along, doing our best.

Congratulations. This is well written and, although it applies to us all, is especially astute for someone in their twenties. (Most of us recognize the value in these words, but it usually takes much longer to live them.) For anyone, when you get to the point that you understand them so well their practice becomes a way of life, the world is yours. Very well done.

Brilliant observations, Brenda, with a great sense of humor, too. Here is
my take of several years ago (in my late 40s):

Your life was good in spite of everything that happened! It couldn’t have
been any other way. I mean, the greatest things we sometimes dream of
are reached with a lot of little steps. And most of your dreadful sadness
only comes from people who want you to be somebody you’re not. But you
say, ‘Yes to life! Yes to love! Yes to myself!’ Say it! — Yes to you! Yes to
you! Have you ever heard anything more beautiful? Yes to YOUHOOO!!!

Great post and congrats on being fp’d. You strike a nerve with alot of people including me. I like how you have come to this conclusion and how very freeing it is to forget about others’ faking. It is still surprising how many people are not aware that absolutely no one cares who is faking it. Again, great insight

The first thing I tried to find after reading this post is the like button, because I really, really like it. Many people keeps saying that but it doesn’t hit me quite like this. Maybe it’s because I’m 27 and trying to figure out if I know what I’m doing, too.

I love this. It always makes me feel better on the days where I’m able to pick up on the subtle ways other people are faking it. We all do it. Whether we are fresh out of college or have been in the business for years.

Yup, learned this one myself when I was an expert witness at a jury trial. My cold sore had erupted, so that was the neon sign blinking that I was anxious. But when I entered the courtroom the equivalent witness for the other side was on the stand and he was a doofus. It occurred to me right then and there that when he left, I would be the ONLY one in the courtroom that knew what I was I was talking about, so if I APPEARED confident, I would ooze knowledge. Our side won. Yeee haaa…lesson learned!!

Well done, Faith. You have learned the great secret. Now you can relax and happily join the ranks of everyone else who is faking it. Though of course, writers engage in faking it much more naturally than editors.

I can’t count the number of times I have had this conversation with peers. It’s good to know that even folks older than I feel the same. One truth you find along the way is that there doesn’t seem to be a plurality of people who are truly competent.

In my early twenties and I needed this post! I’ve lived abroad for 2 years but now I am moving back to the States and I have no idea what I’m about to do… Of course everyone keeps asking me what I plan to do next. So I suppose I can just appear confident when I say “I’ll figure something out while I job search.” 😀

wow! i thoroughly loved reading this post. i thought i was the only one that thought everyone thinks they know what they are doing. i mean dont get me wrong everyone has degrees and knows things to a certain extent but everything is in flux and just because you learned it doesnt mean you have been there, know it, know what to do etc. i love this post! im going to share this! thanks for the great read

I truly needed to come across this post at this precise moment. At least I know I’m not alone in this (not that I ever expected to be the only slightly-insecure person on the planet.) Thank you and well done!

I’m 23. I started my current position less than 2 months ago. I am so use to being good at what I do. For some reason with this paticular job I’ve admitted defeat. I don’t know how to fix it. I just need to wake up everyday & do it but something is holding me back. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Well, I will admit that many people, especially in certain professions may be ‘faking it’, many of us are not, and never will, due to our business ethics and general honesty. Especially people in technical professions, such as engineerig, architecture, etc. (Yes, I know there are fakers everywhere, just not so many in some professions as others).

“Faith is the substance of the things hoped for and the things to come”. I’m so proud Faith to have divinely stumble on your blog. Let it shine on line. “Thank you,” good job on putting facts on fakes.

Reblogged this on C Slater – Technology and Leadership and commented:
I just happened to catch this blogs title as I was logging into wordpress and after a quick read I was like, ”wow, great timing!” As educators looking to the future we have to remind ourselves that a big part of great leadership is confidence. The ability to admit personal shortfalls does not show weakness but rather strength; which I believe would be integral to the theory of distributed leadership and it’s success, being presented by Dr. Kowch.
I have only recently completed my second year of practice, but I know during my first year I had definitely “faked” it on occasion when dealing with both senior staff and administration– in fear of looking like an idiot. It was only through discussion with other educators, at a collegial level, that this mindset began to dissolve and I began to realize I wasn’t stranded at sea alone!

You have no idea how much I needed this (well, maybe you do since so many of us, from what I see above, are in the same boat), thank you! I love it so much I am going to share it on my blog.
You see, I am a self-proclaimed “late bloomer.” Now in my thirties, I feel I must catch up with the rest… I’m interested to see what my 30’s/late blooming years will teach me.
Thank you, once again. -CAT

Nicely put! If there’s one thing that makes people tentative of your opinions, it’s you being tentative of your own. Everyone wants to portray themselves the possible way they can. We dress, speak, write all the time aware that we are being judged by every single thing. This comments section is one good example of that: everyone here wants to stand out, and apart from praising your writing skills, if they have to fake it they might (everyone except me of course 🙂 )

Reblogged this on C to C Friendspirations and commented:
Here at C to C Friendspirations one of the aspects we like to cover is life. We’re two gal’s trying to figure life after college, in our first “real” job and life thereafter.
“What My 20s Taught Me: Everyone is Faking it,” was definitely something I (Cat) needed.
As a self-proclaimed “late bloomer” (I’ll share more of my story at a later time), much of my anxiety come from fear of being called an “imposter” as Faith calls it. However, the reality is that I myself must gain “real confidence.”
I hope that you read her blog post and that you too stop faking it, one day at a time – baby steps.
-CAT

I’m a young landscaper (19) with 5 years actual experience.I try to fake it enough to make my bids high enough to get by, but once price is settled it is just good ol me. Faking it takes way to much out of you.

Its so funny that you wrote this. I am a teacher with a masters in education and 10 years experience… but every day I BS just a tad when trying to answer a stupid grammar question or something I think is just so irrelevant to learning the language. While I care deeply about doing a great job, I wish that somethings were less important to other so I didn’t have to fudge my knowledge 🙂
On another note I totally agree with your last paragraph, In my 20’s I thought everyone was faking at life, their likes, their attitude etc. I too would embellish or exaggerate or pure out tell a lie just to get by, or feel better about situations. But now, in my 30’s living happier than ever, I think for the first time, I don’t lie at life. I am 100% happy with my choices and my life with my husband. The openness and relationship we have allows me to just be me. I hope that everyone finds this so that their 30’s are full of growth and life.
In my opinion, the 30’s are way better than the 20’s 🙂
Nicolehttp://www.adventuresweseek.com

I love your honesty and you remind me of me at your age….everyone is faking it, I agree. Well, doing our best and hoping to get by. Sometimes I think we are our own worse enemy. There comes a point where you have to trust yourself and not care what others think. I’ve always said that once you don’t care, you act as if – you become. You already are! We all have unbelievable expectations about others and minimize ourselves. Kill the little voice inside yourself and realize that you are (even if you just realize the game) ahead of it.

Just be you, try your best and the universe will conspire to work with you. That has always been my motto. Good luck and I enjoyed your blog today. Thank you!

Reblogged this on The Next Step. and commented:
I don’t normally don’t reblog things — I like my blog to be my original work — but this is so in line with what I’ve been thinking about I had to share. Starting a job right out of school is intimidating… and I thought (still think, actually) everyone knows more than me. Because a lot of people do. But this post by Faith from the blog “Great Smitten” helped me realize how important maintaining confidence, even if you don’t feel it, really is. Enjoy! What are your tricks to being confident, even if you don’t feel like it? All for now, Emily.

Great post! I recently finished graduate school and am out job hunting. In order to appear confident and hirable, I’ve basically been “faking” my abilities/knowledge for the past few months because I’m shy and still don’t generally feel “ready” to be out of school.

But then I realized that when people asked me what I found so fascinating about my field (statistics), I would lose the fakeness and start talking passionately and confidently about my interests and my abilities. When I lose the fakeness, I let my true skills through in a much more sincere manner.

I think finding the passion behind what you know/what you can offer can go a long way towards helping you “unfake” it and let your true confidence and abilities appear.

Awesome post! I loved reading it! Finally a well written, well thought out, articulate, humorous, real life post! So much of what I read is garbage here. And you are soo right about the faking it thing. I had a public speaking career (began at 19) and when I got started – I used the “fake it till you make it” approach. Worked great until I got my own confidence! I can’t wait to read more of your stuff.

Oh my god! I talk about this all the time! I remember when I realized everyone was BS-ing. It was after I graduated from college–one of my first real jobs. The interviewers were all like “well you have to do this and that” and made it sound so hard, but when I got the job i was like, “really?” Everybody’s just winging it–and no one seems to mind. It’s so crazy because you grow up thinking that you have to have all these credentials and have all of this incomparable know-how–and then I realized everyone is just winging it. It’s not necessarily freeing for me, but I did relax a little. So we’re all grifters, but is seems that some are more effective in their disguise than others. Great post! Am sharing!

I think that loads of folks who are in the business of entertaining (communicating, writing, acting, et al) must have the same fear.I know I have friends in management positions who say they have this fear, but I have a lot more friends in the ‘business’ who have always felt this way. I think it’s brilliant that you worked all this out yourself without the aid of a therapist. And then expressed it so succinctly and entertainingly. 🙂

What a great post, i just love faking it.It is the best defence that we have and we all do it.Some peaple tell small white lies,but if they only knew how to fake it, They would be a lot better off.
Stephen

I totally agree with you about faking it. Though I was educated in my career when I got my job, there was one person at least that I can point out for faking it. We’d be discussing issues with projects, and this person wouldn’t know the answer or have us correct something that wasn’t necessary in the first place. She probably didn’t know the technical reasons why things are done the way they are done. I’m so sure she got by in her position because she’s hot and she can get away with a lot. There are people willing to turn a blind eye or help her out. She is now a senior account manager.

By the way, I read the big comment from the martial artist. I’ve trained in kali in Toronto among other things and have heard of Dan Inosanto. So I’m told right from the beginning when I started Japanese Jiu Jitsu to fake it until you make it. You fight (or in my case – defend as in self defence) like you would in real live by going through the motions until you get better at it. Being a tiny person myself, I far exceeded my expectations (in the case of Japanese jiu jitsu – brown belt) just by trying while I saw so many people quit so easily.

This is a marvelous post, and I particularly like this line: “although we think what we’re faking is our qualifications, our knowledge, what we’re really faking is our belief in ourselves.” So powerful. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed – it’s well-deserved!

I guess there is something to be said for ‘fake it until you make it’… I’ve had to fake confidence whilst travelling solo when I’ve been in some dodgy situations… it generally works… and it gives you real confidence for the next time that situation crops up! Enjoyed the post, thanks!

This is a beautiful and transparent post. Thanks for writing it. I like how you were set free and liberated when you realized that so many people have the same fear, too. Really, we are all just doing our best to “make it” and do a good job and be able to be more confident in ourselves in both the work and personal spheres of our lives.

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hmm, this is interesting. i personally feel like a big “liar” whenever i’ve gone on a job interview. like, sure i know that….and sometimes i think, looking at the job description, well, who knows ALL of that? especially someone young? how do young people get jobs? well, the answer is in your blog post: they fake it! 😀

Great post, Faith. I don’t know why, but you made me think of an opening scene from American Psycho. Allow me to quote: “There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable… I simply am not there.”

I was having a similar thought in my mind. I was thinking how everyone I worked with is a bag of ballonies and fakos. And how easily other people are deceived, yes, even impressed. Thank you for making a post out of the thought process you had and congratulations on freshly pressed! 🙂

“Faking It” has been described as the “impostor syndrome” in the past – a person doesn’t believe they deserved the level they attained and worry that they will be found out as not worthy by others. The insecurity can hold people back. I’ve seen it in people who came from disadvantaged backgrounds.

I’ve worked with many high level people. And, since I didn’t directly report to these people, they let their guard down. A few things that got them to the top were, self confidence, good verbal skills, and not obsessing about mistakes or the past.

Great to know that I was not the only one who felt like I didn’t know what the H-E-double hockey sticks I was doing when I graduated from college and got my first job in my field. And I like the wit in your writing. 🙂

Ha, ha, and great post. I get less tolerant of the imposters around me as the years accumulate. The more you know, the less you know, I have to say, I read it because of the photo. Fabulous idea starting out your post with a picture and funny caption. Thanks!

Thanks so much for the lovely post. Your bit about qualifications, knowledge and belief in ourselves is incredibly true. That fear you describe made me turn away from journalism work and more in the past. Now I’m starting to swing back at it.

A truth written with great hilarity! What you’re really writing about is how to overcome fear. In my career I marvel everyday how I seem to “not get caught”, how I manage to put up a good front … again. I am considered an expert in my field but that lack of self-confidence bug still bites. Ouch! Glad no one saw that!
Very insightful.
Peace,
Alexandria

I believe this post has hit me big-time. All these years I am so afraid to jump into the waters because I see myself as unprepared and inadequate. Yet this post taught me that I can fake courage… And in the course of doing so, maybe I’ll develop true bravery. Great post!

How right you are with this aspect of life.
In my younger days, everyone intimidated me, because I assumed they knew more than me, therefore they were better than me.
Now, with more and more of my hair turning gray, no one intimidates me at all.
Everyone is equal to me, because none of them know everything, and they also have faults, just like me.
Thanks for giving everyone here another perspective on one of life’s dilemmas.

Cool post you have there. I’ve been having a bit of problems figuring this out. I know what I do at work and I’m quite confident that I’m doing fine. Acknowledgement and praises come along. Then I start to wonder if I’ve been doing fine, or if I’ve been appearing to do fine. Self-doubt? But you’re right, it’s 50% knowing what you do and 50% looking the part.

The most important lesson I learned at school wasn’t something I learned from a teacher, but from a classmate, who had the gift of saying what little he knew with such a confident tone of voice that most teachers assumed he knew everything, and didn’t ask more questions.
So now, when customers ask me a question I don’t know the answer to, I make an educated guess and answer with the same confident voice!

Great write-up. I’ve realised this myself now because I’ve seen some really STUPID people pretending like they’re experts on certain subjects. They can fool those who don’t know they’re stupid, but I’ve known them before they started faking it. So yeah – I guess there are very few genuinely true people around – that’s saying a lot!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

Great post! I’m in my late twenties myself and this really resonated with me… My Dad often tells me that the most important thing is sincerity… and once you can fake that, you’ll be fine 🙂 Have a great day no longer faking it!

This is perfect, and something I really struggle with all the time having just entered the workplace, I wrote a post similar about feeling like a little kid when everyone around you is a grown-up!
Scary times. I love this whole ’20s’ section, it’s like a guide book and one that I definitely need! x

love your post. it is true, we all fake it: I do it, you do it and we all do it. FAKING your confidence is so high and it is one sure way to survive. if you don’t do that, your likely going to crash out.
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Definitely a good read. No doubt it would resonate inside many .
Reminds me a little of what Groucho Marx said,” The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made” 😉

Well done – it took me till my 40’s to figure this out. However, watch out for those who really do think they know it all and who often shaft you… they usually don’t stay long enough for the S*** to hit the fan whilst they are still there!

Faith! How has it taken me this long to find you?! Congrats on your Freshly Pressage! I love this post. I just turned 30 in April, and I work in an industry where I’m a COMPLETE fish out of water (Big Pharma – I went to school for creative writing), and so this is a lesson that took me a long time to learn. I guess a year or two ago, I realized no one really knows what they’re doing in life, LOL, which is both liberating and terrifying, when you start thinking about cops and pilots, etc. who probably have these same moments of self-doubt. But then, like you said, “what we’re really faking is our belief in ourselves.” I’m so glad you’ve built up confidence as a result, because it certainly sounds like you be ROCKIN’! Can’t wait to read more.

I agree! Everyone is faking it. People live out their wanted lives via FB updates: “Just had lunch with P.Diddy, then he invited me back to his house to make candles.” Real life translation: “I just watched Bad Boys. Realized I am a shell of a man.” CHECK YO’SELF,SON! 😀

I love this post! I figured it out years ago, but would never have been able to word it as well as you!
A friend once gave me permission to not know everything, or to not pretend that I know everything. It is more complicated than that, but it freed me to become a better person.
Once free to admit to my imperfections, I was able to learn how to be better at what I did.

Lawyers do this a lot- fake it. They fake out the client, the fake out the opposing lawyer, and it is only when they are in trial and dont really have it together, when it is too late for everyone, when the judge is making his ruling or the jury is filing in with a verdict does it become all too clear.

The only way to really know before hand is if you already have 30 years of experience practicing law and can spot the fake. There may be other ways, perhaps it will come to me.

I recall Bernard Shaw having said ” Every profession is a conspiracy against the public “. So the legal or the political or any which one, would be no exception. Ultimately, we are (probably?) answerable to only our conscience, and hopefully, our interpretation of that would be right !

Great post Faith. Faking and lying are similar in one respect: they both require a good memory. But authenticity fuels self-confidence because it allows you to accept your flaws and mistakes so you can go forward and grow past them.

I agree that everyone is faking, and when you fake yourself, you do start having more self-confidence, but I disagree that you stop faking, faking is a life long pit that many people never fall out of.

Faith, I really like this! Thank you for letting me off the hook too, of thinking that I need to know everything before stepping out into my endeavors. I know a lot, but there’s always more to know. But… that never ends, does it. Because we are forever learning.

Great insight! As a Christian who is privileged to minister to young women, I see how desperately they need to know this message. So many come to meetings or bible studies and sit there thinking “I’m the only one who has ever done anything wrong” or “I sound so stupid when I say something and they’re all so smart”. That is all a lie. We are all messed up, have issues, fail, struggle and compare ourselves to others. That’s the point and when we finally realize it we can walk in the confidence of knowing that no one is perfect and neither and I’m. And that’s ok. We can then encourage each other by sharing our fears, struggles and doubts so we all know we’re not alone.

Congrats on figuring out the ‘secret’ everyone is treading water and it is true, don’t sweat the little stuff and as you get older more and more things get smaller.
Someone recently told me I was unflappable as I smiled at her. Granted only one side of my mouth was smiling and I was thinking of the consequences resulting from leaning over an slapping her. Not that I ever would… just thinking about it.
I love my age. When I was young I would have been trying to kiss her ass.

Very well written. For a human you seem to have grasp on what few of your species understand. Alas most humans very come to grips with the truth. Makes me glad I’m canine. I am what I am and I’m confident and secure in that.
Sandy

Thank you so much for this post. I’ve worked as a technical recruiter for over seven months. You need coordinate client and candidate, matching culture and skill. A daunting task for someone in an open room full of industry giants.

Love it! This happened for me around 22, and I’ve been steadily gaining confidence and “owning my work” ever since… As sadistic as it sounds, I do love to smell the fear on newbies… maybe because I know they will have this realization too someday.

It’s kind of awesome and hilarious that (so far) you have 308 responses to a post about “everyone faking it”. You’re obviously not! What a great blog… and grasp on life! Wonderful insights and moments throughout your blog.

Reblogged this on The Dallas Marketing Chicks and commented:
This is a fantastic post. And as a young woman in her 20’s this post relieved so much stress! To know that I’m not the only one who fakes it!

Fake it until you make indeed. That was my mantra when I started teaching. I am looking forward to the day my pretend confidence turns into real confidence, I think it is slowly starting to. I think I would have been eaten alive by the students of today if I did not paste on a face of self belief. They almost saw right through my charade once, I managed to pull them back in. I am planning on telling my school leavers the secret at the end of the year when they too face work force and being out in the real world. I think if I give them one piece of advice that would be it!

Yes yes yes! I love this post. You pin point the issue I’ve been telling a friend about recently. I will be sending her the link to this blog.
We are “all” fakers at some point. Some are good at it, some less good. Others make a carrier out of it. Overall, it’s about how true we attempt to stay towards ourselves and others in the middle of this battle of appearance. Keep it up with the good blogs!

i learned this lesson when i lived in new york city. i worked at the top of one of the largest stores in lower manhattan, and i got my job after being there only 2 months. very little training, hardly any support, but everyone thought i knew my stuff, because i was the “boss” and i put on a believable front. every day i was just hoping no one would point out my act. eventually my confidence grew from fake to real… but now, i had to transfer to a different state, back down to the “bottom”, and boy if i’m not treated entirely different! my experience is irrelevant now – and the other ones are the people faking it. whatever. most things in life are a facade. stay true to you and know when to put on and take off that “faking it” hat. people are so transparent, really. your intuition will grow stronger, and that will help weed out the BS 😉 great post and congrats on all your success!

Sad but true. “Fake it ’til you make it,” has gotten many a people far into their careers.
Only thing I’d add is that I’m not sure people ever stop faking it. I’m convinced that almost every employee at my co. is faking it. Some are just better at it than others.

CAN’T AGREE MORE!
And sometimes to fake it may even help you become a better person! It is sort of like to be confident in yourself by cheating yourself into believing that you are better than what you thought you are!

Nice 🙂 I usually take the opposite approach: just let everyone know that I have no clue what I’m doing and if I catch on they’ll see my improvement and if I actually do know what I’m doing they’ll underestimate me and I can have the last laugh

This is great! I’m a lawyer with only a year and a half experience, but I’ve learned that everyone fakes it! All they do is say something with a certain level of confidence and I think, “of course they’re right, they know”. I’ve learned… not so much the case. It’s amazing. Great post!

I am a recent graduate from IU with a degree in journalism and English, and I feel like this post is exactly what I need to hear right now. Everyone keeps asking what my 5-year plan is, what my career aspirations are, and it’s incredibly overwhelming. Trying to enter a field with no set path on what exactly I should be doing, makes answering these questions tough, and being surrounded by friends with degrees in business and jobs with benefits even tougher. Thanks for your honesty, and witticism. Realizing that I’m not alone in “faking it” definitely helps ease this sense of uncertainty haha

I teach this to people who want me to show them how to draw, your confidence to draw = how well you draw… if people can tell your personal traits by your signature, a drawing is really just an expanded signature. So if you are confident, your drawing will look confident. If you are scared your lines will look weak and shaky. So the take away is everyone has hands and pens, the basic tools needed to draw, but the people that are successful believe they can draw. This belief leads to practice, practice leads to perfection. It is a simple truth.

Good stuff. I just revamped my CV to apply for my dream job and ‘faking it’ may as well be the tagline at the top LOL. Well, not exactly faking it, but definitely a quality piece of work to convince someone I know what I am doing!

Amen! I have just started an internship in the fashion industry, and I’ll admit, it was a blow to my confidence for a little bit. I actually had this same realization not too long ago, but you were able to put it into words!! Lovely 🙂

This is perfect! I had a professor who referred to this as “impostor syndrome.” I am currently suffering from it because I am starting a Ph.D. program in the fall, and I am just sure that once I get there, they will realize that I don’t really belong and they’ll kick me out. They’ll say, “Sorry. You looked smarter and more capable on paper, but now that we’ve met you, we realize that you just don’t have what it takes.” It is good to know that I am not alone in my fears. Now, onto embracing confidence!

Reblogged this on Mission Possible and commented:
Great post. I’ve always been so afraid of people finding out I really have no idea what I’m doing. I remember my grandmother telling me when she accomplished something she used to think to herself, “Well, it couldn’t be that hard if I can do it.”

This post made me smile. I think that’s sort of the fun of life: having no idea what you’re doing and blindingly stumbling in–what you hope is–the right direction.
And hoping that if it’s not the right direction, that it’ll at least give you a good story to tell and a bit more clarity.

Amazing. This was truly a delight to read; I had to ponder on when I was in my 20’s. I knew I didn’t know a lot at that time and being a young single mother, I had to wing it quite a bit. I was pretty naive and brutally honest about not knowing nor having the confidence. Yet, I strive for what I needed. I made it through my 20’s and now I’m in my early 40’s. I will have to share this with my 21 year old daughter. I’m sure she will appreciate this golden gem.

This is the most awesome article I’ve read since I don’t know when! And especially at a point in my life where I feel like I want to shift careers cuz I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t know what the heck she’s doing at work. But I will definitely rethink things through and see where real confidence takes me. This was great! THANKS PLENTY!!

Thanks for your poignant honesty, Faith! You are so right about overcoming your fear and beginning to actualize your dreams. I had my blog idea for 8 years & only recently started it a few months ago. My inspiration came from realizing that I had valuable information to share & that my perception of who was contributing to it was an illusion. Ultimately, you do have to pursue your passions without fear. Thanks so much for inspiring so many of us to continue to actualize our dreams!

I completely understand where you’re coming from. Realising that everyone else feels the same and that we all want to please, then thinking ‘Well, I’m in the same boat as everyone else, why do I need this fear?’ A very good read 🙂

Thanks for that. I had a similar discussions with friends, colleagues and partners. Most often they did not agree with me. Telling me that they were not nervous, did not care and could go to work with ease. I believed them, still do actually, because I think some people just do not have as much self-doubt as I (and maybe you and Brenda). Reading now from a professional that even with success and confirmation of talent the nagging feeling remains is refreshing and affirming.

PS: I do not think self-doubt is a bad thing, maybe it is a poor choice of words and more precisely would be self-criticizing.

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I am 21, and a Journalism student myself. And I have sat through endless classes telling how I am supposed to do things. And I gathered something from all my professors, employers, and seasoned journalists and Pulitzer Prize winners, that even when your scared to death, pretend you are not. Pretend you have it all figured out. And it works. I mean, I still get very intimidated by people who look like they know exactly what’s going on, and are ace… but, it helps to know that everyone fakes it.

Excellent post and so true, I felt entirely relieved when I found out that lots of people are wondering when they are going to be found out as fakes! Someone once told me it is this feeling that makes us good at our jobs, the people we need to worry about are the ones who never wonder this!

I’ve met a great many people who seemed frightened, and reactive … destructive … constantly threatened. It was as if despite their being so good at what they do, they didn’t feel like they were good enough.

They absolutely irradiated confidence – sure – but on a deeper level their actions said something so very different to me..

There are a great many people who seriously need to read these words. Perhaps one should admire your courage for saying them. I dealt with my fears in my own way … but even for me it’s an incredible feeling to understand that I’m not alone in having them.

And – more importantly – I can do just fine even before they’ve been conquered.

I agree with the many comments to your post. But to be just a bit of a contrarian, it is ok to fake it till you make it when you are trying to be nice. Sometimes people are so darn mean or hiding their many fears or insecurities that you just have to smile and accept the situation, till it passes. Actually, that is what courtesy is after all. There is a fundamental difference between faking it to be nice, and faking confidence. You either deserve to have confidence or you have to keep learning until you have it. Having the courage to make decisions is essential and that is something people may grumble about when they see it but appreciate it when a professional or personal situation demands it. How many times have you seen someone try to evade making a decision by throwing out truly cockamamie excuses? I see it often. Sometimes you have to make that leap of faith in your preparation to make hard decisions. If that requires you to fake it, go ahead because there will be a remedy that someone , somewhere will figure out eventually. Nothing short of death can’t be fixed. That is my bit of Southern wisdom, and I’m sticking to it!

Congratulations on making freshly pressed! I absolutely loved this post. It came at the best possible time for me too. (I just took a leap and scrapped all of my blogs of random topics and started at square one with the one i think I’m meant to write… and it’s a terrifying test of my confidence!) In fact I think I may just print your post out and tape it to the inside of my blog binder. Thanks so much for posting this!

Reblogged this on The Deliberate Woman and commented:
Surfing around a little bit, I found this post and wanted to share it. I think it’s an interesting additional perspective to what I just wrote about with the “hey, watch this!” narrative.
“Hey, watch this” might be that bridge between faking it and really living it. Maybe…

[…] tell me I am a brainless idiot, I know what’s really going on inside them and smile back.“The best part about realizing everyone is faking it, is that you get to stop faking it yourse… Now, that’s something I am really good at.. Being Genuine! “Everyday I fight for […]

Your post is awesome and timely! I was someone’s Brenda last week and they just didn’t believe me. I am sharing your words with them (and a link on my Facebook). Sometimes you have to hear it from someone else to believe it. Thanks for sharing you have probably helped more people than you know.

My mom always jokes that she’s faking it in her job too, funny how many people we look up to seem to be big fakers 🙂 I think we all have the anxiety of being “found out”, but in reality, we just need to let go and find ourselves.

Great post! We all in someway or another “fake it”, sometimes to others and sometimes to ourselves. I think that in part that’s because we’re frequently selling ourselves, our ideas, or beliefs to other people and in-turn they are selling themselves to us. It’s during that interplay that we may find our own confidence wavering but the need to instill in others the belief that we know what we know, triggers in most of us a reactionary need to push our boundaries beyond our normal comfort zone…

Well-written. I am also discovering that everyone only seems like supermen until you know them better. Being 25, I am still aeons away from the proper realisation that you talk about, but I have seen slivers of the truth you mention.

I might be faking it, but so is everybody else (and I think this is especially true in the film industry, which is where I find myself these days).

Thanks for the post. One so seldom find properly written introspection among the freshly pressed, and I’m not famous enough to be pressed yet. 😛

This is really a great post. This sort of revelation actually hit me just last month. Not in these words, but it was just as… cathartic, really. My confidence started getting better and better every day. I’m glad you were able to write it down in a way that helps so many people. 🙂

The other thing to remember is that “Everyone Makes Mistakes” and so you should not fear mistakes. When I first started my project management position I was afraid of what would happen if I dropped the ball somewhere and the delivery got late, or if our product was bad and the resulting airplanes had problems. But then I realized that all the people around me were making mistakes every day. And the important thing is to be calm and fix it.

so true!!! i’ve come to realize over time that no one truly has it all together. no matter how put together they seem, or how accomplished and amazing they appear, there is always a crack in the surface. maybe it’s just hidden really well. you become much more confident when you know that the person you’re trying to impress is vulnerable in some way.

You mean I could’ve been faking it all those years I was in advertising?!!
I love this post, I’m sure a lot of people aren’t as sure of themselves as they seem to be, some are just better at acting than others. I think it takes a confident person to admit that they might not be “all that and more”, that and possessing a good attitude and sense of humor in itself can go a long way.
But I’ve got to admit, I do admire the skill of the actors!!

I didn’t learn this until my 30′ so, to me, you’re ahead of the game! It IS amazing how the shift in belief in oneself truly alters one’s life and the world around. Once the pressure is lifted so much more rushes in that helps one lead an authentic life. Are you curious what your 30’s may bring 😉 We can compare notes when I’m 40, lol.

So, did you fake writing when you wrote this? If you did I can hardly tell it from the real thing. Still, someone once sold me a fake Rolex over the intenet and then extracted all my savings from my bank account, so what do I know? They didn’t really, I just faked that.

Spot on, thanks for sharing. It -is- lovely once that mirage falls away, that you suddenly realize that it doesn’t matter that much what you do, you’ve come on to that position with a reason and there must be a reason why you’re still there. You don’t need to be pretentious, you don’t need to be someone else, just be yourself and you’ll end up in the place that fits you best. It might be a bit of a journey, but it’ll happen. 🙂

Attitude and outlook are our personal choices on how we approach life. Always have a bottle of tequila or whiskey in your desk drawer to maintain a positive outlook on well you’re doing. This has proved invaluable in my experience with publishing.

Thanks for this post. That´s exactly what I had to learn the hard way during my first job after university when I was working for big multi-national company. I always thought: My co-workers are so self-confident, they know everything. Really all they know was how to look and sound like they know everything without actually knowing it. And the good girl inside me of course wanted to really know and understand everything. I wish somebody had shared this wisdom with me sooner.

I had the exact experience once. Now, at 56 I look back and laugh at my own ignorance. It didn’t take me long back then though to figure out almost everyone was faking it (including myself). As soon as I figured it out, my career went through the roof because I stopped faking it, and I started making it… happen. Thanks for that on-point reminder that its always been that way.

Right. The intimidation factor melts away when one recognizes he knows or could really know what he is talking about and everyone else continues to posture and fake it. In my business by now at 54 the fakers are generally disbarred.

If you’re doing what you love to do, no need to fake anything…you can’t fake a love for something or someone…besides, if you’re doing what you love, you’ll be real good at it… Not many people make a living doing what they love to do. You have gained some great insight early on. I enjoyed this article. It made me feel good. I signed up to follow you. I’m a curmudgeon… I have an eclectic website http://www.noulteriormotive.com … all G rated… topics cover political & social commentary, a couple of funny stories, mountain gorillas with videos, music with videos and so on… Stop by if you feel like… All the best to you..

Whatever you do, dont go to law school. Not only are there no jobs, but the process messes with the mind. I used to think in terms of art and beauty, and now I only think in terms of causes of action and judgments.

Great article. I have the same mindset and wished more people would acknowledge that this is how it really is. Even if you don’t know what you are doing, if you know the proper people to contact, manage, or direct to get it done, that is just as good.

I share almost this same philosophy when it comes to the ladies. For the longest time, I was afraid to approach certain women due to intimidation or whatever. As I got older, I realized that if I didn’t ask them out, it was as good as a no anyways right? So I may as well ask them because they might say yes.

May I set all your misgivings at rest ! Setting up your own blog costs neither a penny nor a Pound,nor does it require you to be web savvy or
possess any other “skill”. I am probably talking out of turn, but then, that’s the kind of liberty that blogging gives, which none other platform gave before, so there, take it or leave it !

Nobody said journalists were smart. Isn’t that why they are journalists? They are naïve people and that’s why stories about the world are interesting to them. I knew some journalists and they were naïve and dreamers. It does not surprise me one bit that you say you figured this out after your 20’s. I knew the phrase, “Fake it, till you make it,” when I was in high school.

Do not throw out real good people in the community . Just because you decided to work in the most vapid industry – is your game. Your time as a writer/editor does wonders for your skills of spinning a title to suit your needs. Shame.

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I’ve been having a competition inside my own head with those I’ve grown up with and have been feeling like I was coming in last place for these last few months. It’s been eating away at me.Thank you for your words of wisdom. You really helped me out.