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Topic: I Want To Move To A More HIV and Gay Friendly City-Any Advice? (Read 15553 times)

I am contemplating moving next summer. I would like to move to a HIV and gay friendly location with good doctors and healthcare, laid back lifestyle, low stress, and affordable. Do any of you have any great suggestions. Please let me know. Thank you-

I live year round in a resort community called the Russian River. Public transportation could be better but, health care and services are all excellent in the land of vanishing resources. There is a hundred miles of breathtaking coast line, redwood forests, relatively low rents, all a short drive to San Francisco. Have the best dayMichael

"affordability" is a vague term without knowing what you can afford. I'm not sure what "low stress" really refers to either, meaning that some people hate really large cities and find them stressful while others it doesn't bother.

I see that you live in San Antonio. Perhaps it would help everyone if you described what you don't like there that is making you desire to move elsewhere.

I live year round in a resort community called the Russian River. Public transportation could be better but, health care and services are all excellent in the land of vanishing resources. There is a hundred miles of breathtaking coast line, redwood forests, relatively low rents, all a short drive to San Francisco. Have the best dayMichael

Sounds interesting. Any towns you would reccommend. How's the weather?

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"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

new orleans has always been gay-friendly -- no one cares. housing is affordable and the only direction we have to go is UP! we couldn't possibly get any lower.

it's the only place you can still strike out on your own -- katrina and her aftermath turned my hometown into a wasteland waiting for brave souls to resurrect her. other than brad and angelina very few have adopted the cause. nonetheless i love this demographic dumpster and would prefer euthanasia over having to move anywhere other than the (west coast) bay area. the climate/temperature is closer to san antonio's than any area above the mason-dixon line...

clearly this is merely my prejudiced opinion... but wtf?

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Your friends may say that Iím a strangerMy face theyíll never see no moreThere is but one promise thatís givenIíll sail on Godís golden shore

As far as Miami is concerned, after almost 15 years of living here, I cannot say that I recommend it based on what you seem to be looking for. Yes it has many gay people, and it does have many HIV specialists (especially since supposedly we have one of the highest percentages of infection in the nation). It also has housing that is still overpriced in the better areas (other aspects related to cost of living are good though), really bad traffic, and not very easy to find new employment at the moment. You would have to weigh what matters to you specifically.

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"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Roughly roundabout somewhere in the eighteenth or nineteenth century, Sodomite begat Homosexual out of moral, medical and legal models, bequeathing him Identity, who inbred with Nuclear Family and Industrialism to spawn Homophobia.

Actually, it's basically impossible to immigrate to Australia if you're poz so Sydney probably wouldn't work. I was successful at great cost and many years of effort. Might I suggest Asheville or Wilmington NC. Also Santa Fe NM though it can be a bit expensive.

Anywhere along the Vancouver/Seattle/PDX stretch of I-5 (really as far down as Eugene). The weather is nice, the people are accepting, and if you like the outdoors you can be at the beach, skiing in the cascades, or exploring the desert within an hour or two. Traffic is nice in PDX, and you can actually walk around without fear of being run over by angry, spaced out drivers.

Having lived in various locations around the country, I'm pretty sure I will never leave the pacific northwest unless I absolutely have to.

new orleans has always been gay-friendly -- no one cares. housing is affordable and the only direction we have to go is UP! we couldn't possibly get any lower.

it's the only place you can still strike out on your own -- katrina and her aftermath turned my hometown into a wasteland waiting for brave souls to resurrect her. other than brad and angelina very few have adopted the cause. nonetheless i love this demographic dumpster and would prefer euthanasia over having to move anywhere other than the (west coast) bay area. the climate/temperature is closer to san antonio's than any area above the mason-dixon line...

Anywhere along the Vancouver/Seattle/PDX stretch of I-5 (really as far down as Eugene). The weather is nice, the people are accepting, and if you like the outdoors you can be at the beach, skiing in the cascades, or exploring the desert within an hour or two. Traffic is nice in PDX, and you can actually walk around without fear of being run over by angry, spaced out drivers.

Having lived in various locations around the country, I'm pretty sure I will never leave the pacific northwest unless I absolutely have to.

I lived in Seattle for a year and loved it. I really wish I could move back but it is not practical for my partner. Also I can't really afford to live there but in my "win the lottery" fantasy I live in Seattle.

As for the OP, you can scratch North Carolina off your list, except maybe Asheville, Chapel Hill and Wilmington.

Thank you all so much for your recommendations. San Antonio is a beautiful city but the city itself is not very accepting of gay individuals so it is time for me to move on as I really don't feel that it is constructive for me here. I think that I will seriously consider New Orleans and South Florida do continued research.

I've lived here five years. Outstanding and "award-winning" HIV medical services (El Rio Special Immunology Associates.) Cost-of-living, which was my first and primary criteria, is good...definitely lower than average in the U.S. Yeah, it gets hot here in the summer but except for July and August it's a dry heat so I don't perspire much other than the aforementioned two months when we have thunderstorms. Liberal, gay-friendly, and the City has a domestic partnership registry.

... As for the OP, you can scratch North Carolina off your list, except maybe Asheville, Chapel Hill and Wilmington.

GSO is right about Asheville; it's a very nice laid-back city that's surprisingly progressive. Raleigh has a pretty decent gay population. The gay guys I know that live there really like it. Atlanta has a huge gay population and, from what I hear, very good HIV services. If I were relocating to somewhere in the South out of NC, I'd seriously consider Atlanta.

There are hot men in most any region. Seriously, why complain incessantly about Bible Thumpers and then surround yourself with them? I escaped that crap as soon as I could at 18, but that was back in the 80's when it was much worse than now (I guess... I'm not willing to move back down there to find out!)

I guess my point to the OP is that if it's the Thumpers that are making things seem not so gay friendly, consider leaving the entire region.

I thought New Orleans was not gay-friendly after Mayor Ray Nagin said he wanted New Orleans to be a chocolate city. That really turned me off and I haven't been back since.

he embarrassed and outraged blacks and whites with those ill-chosen words. even though his remarks were racial/racist there are many black glbt residents and he didn't exclude them so i'm not quite sure i see a link between the asinine remarks and acceptance of gays in the city.

ray nagin has the IQ of a turnip and will be out of office soon -- tons of people have tee shirts, bumper stickers & even yard signs celebrating the day. nagin was pandering to his audience as he always does. he's george bush with a tan.

he made those remarks to a small group of african american new orleanians a few months after katrina, in january 2006. at the time of his speech the most heavily displaced citizens were african-american. after being a majority black city since the 1970s it appeared the demographics might change permanently. new orleans is still missing about 200,000 former residents, most african-american, but of the 300,000 or so of us still here about 58% are african american, down from 65 - 70% pre-katrina. i'm not excusing his words -- to be honest i paid no attention because nothing he says or does surprises me. the media made them more newsworthy than they were but that's their function.

new orleans is as gay-friendly as it ever was -- no city or area is completely free of prejudiced bigots. gays & lesbians are har assed everywhere in the USofA, even san francisco and p'town. "the city that care forgot" has a long history of acceptance of a diverse populations, including being one of very few U.S. cities whi0h always had "free people of color" among its citizens. new orleans cannot be mistaken for louisiana, though, whose heritage of slavery and racism are comparable to most southern states. the french quarter and outlying neighborhoods have been heavily populated by gays since the turn of the 20th century if not before. glbt residents are in all parts of the city & surrounding suburbs although the majority probably still live in the parish proper.

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I loved New Orleans and used to go at least every other month before the hurricanes.

I would love to be wrong about that; it used to be my stomping ground. I had lots of friends there.

you haven't returned or talked to your n.o. friends since nagin's speech? the city has changed drastically in many ways and will be struggling for years to return to its former state, if that's even possible. the gay population may be lower than before but from what i can tell it's as active as ever. although i haven't participated in ages i heard southern decadence had a large turnout this year. mardi gras still attracts large numbers of people including tons of glbts.

i could go on and on (and did but cut it so as not to overload the internets).

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Your friends may say that Iím a strangerMy face theyíll never see no moreThere is but one promise thatís givenIíll sail on Godís golden shore

All the towns on the river are really small. Guerneville is the largest with 2 stoplights and approximately 1295 year round residents. The County of Sonoma claims an additional 250 homeless live here, also year round. The season is 6 months and the population changes every weekend.

I live in what once was called Hacienda but now is part of Forestville. We share a zip code and phone prefix but the town of Forestville is really about 5 miles away. These towns were built before statehood and mostly by lumberjacks who cut the trees which built San Francisco and rebuilt it after the 1906 quake. Have the best dayMichael

If you currently live in SA then why not just go 60 miles north to Austin. Austin is definately gay friendly and arguably the most open city in Texas and is night and day compared to San Antonio (San Antonio in my opinion is a hell hole). The cost of living will be higher in Austin but not unmanageable, and well worth it.

I am contemplating moving next summer. I would like to move to a HIV and gay friendly location with good doctors and healthcare, laid back lifestyle, low stress, and affordable. Do any of you have any great suggestions. Please let me know. Thank you-

Tracy

Just to add my 2 cents here, I've lived in LA, Seattle, SD, SAC, OAK, and now ABQ....the older you get, the harder it is to move around so much, find a nice place that you like, and that fits your needs and cost of living, if a City or Town has just about everything you need in to survive, then, that's really what matters.....

People are very fickle, and they come & go, some will keep in touch, but others will not, but it's you that has to be comfortable in your own surrounding...forget about other people...you come 1st, and your number 1. IMO most people SUCK, and can be very flaky, they are only out for themselves, and most don't give a dam about you.... I'd remove myself from those types, if I were you, to find you own peace-of-mind.....at the end day, it's your happiness and comfort that is important...it really doesn't matter where you live, it's how well you can live in any given place......

« Last Edit: September 24, 2009, 12:26:31 PM by denb45 »

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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

If you currently live in SA then why not just go 60 miles north to Austin. Austin is definately gay friendly and arguably the most open city in Texas and is night and day compared to San Antonio (San Antonio in my opinion is a hell hole). The cost of living will be higher in Austin but not unmanageable, and well worth it.

-Will (Born in Sa and raised in Austin)

That's exactly what I've heard about Austin. Being that it would be a much easier move than somewhere across the country, I'd give it a try (unless you have some reason for wanting to move farther away and / or don't like Austin).

Just to add my 2 cents here, I've lived in LA, Seattle, SD, SAC, OAK, and now ABQ....the older you get, the harder it is to move around so much, find a nice place that you like, and that fits your needs and cost of living, if a City or Town has just about everything you need in to survive, then, that's really what matters.....

People are very fickle, and they come & go, some will keep in touch, but others will not, but it's you that has to be comfortable in your own surrounding...forget about other people...you come 1st, and your number 1. IMO most people SUCK, and can be very flaky, they are only out for themselves, and most don't give a dam about you.... I'd remove myself from those types, if I were you, to find you own peace-of-mind.....at the end day, it's your happiness and comfort that is important...it really doesn't matter where you live, it's how well you can live in any given place......

Dennis-

Thank you for the inspiration. You are correct in so many ways. You mentioned some things that I really need to consider when I make my move.

denb45 (Dennis) made the best statement and sense out of all on this subject. I live in montgomery, AL I have Great friends, gay, straight, bi, hetero... and who knows... its not the greatest place to find a poz date but, look at the poz-site... it looks like few are finding what they are looking for... so I chose Family over everything else.... work... career... plus I can basically move anywhere but, the grass is not always greener over the hill... go visit an area of the country you may possibly would like to move to... get a vibe for the area... check out medical facilities specializing in Hiv treatment... employment... standard of living... access to healthcare is extremely important for you... chill and write down your priorities... I have 4 more years to retire... so I have decided to stay put... and I'll just travel... best wishes!

I am contemplating moving next summer. I would like to move to a HIV and gay friendly location with good doctors and healthcare, laid back lifestyle, low stress, and affordable. Do any of you have any great suggestions. Please let me know. Thank you-

Anywhere along the Vancouver/Seattle/PDX stretch of I-5 (really as far down as Eugene). The weather is nice, the people are accepting, and if you like the outdoors you can be at the beach, skiing in the cascades, or exploring the desert within an hour or two. Traffic is nice in PDX, and you can actually walk around without fear of being run over by angry, spaced out drivers.

Having lived in various locations around the country, I'm pretty sure I will never leave the pacific northwest unless I absolutely have to.

I second that! I mean I'll probably make some extended vacations here and there, but I'm not going anywhere.

I already chipped in my two cents, but if I were still living in the USA, I would consider the best place to live now is where I could make the most reliable secure highest income and have health care. If that were Anchorage or Baton Rouge I think I'd find friendly enough people.

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ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

... If that were Anchorage or Baton Rouge I think I'd find friendly enough people.

i know it was simply an example, not recommendation, but i wouldn't wish Baton Rouge on anyone. it's not gay-friendly even though it's a "university town" where one might expect a more liberal environment. the big thing to do if you're gay is drive to New Orleans on weekends. all other activities revolve around the LSU Tigers.

i visited BR for daytime meetings when i was working. during the school year it's a traffic hell. after Katrina the population swelled and from what i understand it's even worse. i've been back only once since the storm and the impression of a non-stop strip mall is even greater than it was pre-storm.

maybe you could meet Sarah Palindrone in Anchorage.

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Your friends may say that Iím a strangerMy face theyíll never see no moreThere is but one promise thatís givenIíll sail on Godís golden shore

Call me dumb. But does gay-friendly mean that people are polite and open to gays, or that there is an obvious "gay scene". If I were paid a great salary and had health care and friendly neighbors, but no gay scene, who gives a hoot, i'd travel elsewhere for that kind of friendliness if necessary... But, I get the point of the OP.

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ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Here's an idea... be happy where you are. I moved from my hometown, Seattle, which is for all intents and purposes the best city in the US. I will permit no disagreement on this point. I ended up in Detroit. Which, well, yeah, um whatever. And, I found that I am happy nonetheless. I miss mountains and normal people, but I have found things to love. So, the truth is that you can be happy anywhere.

Anyway, if you're going to move. Try Canada. They have healthcare.

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Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

simply fabulous idea but unfortunately many of us, being fallible humans, are unable to command such strength of character. i love my home and other than the san fran bay area would never think of moving anywhere else in the usa, at least (I'd LOVE to try canada but fear the cold weather is more than my thin semi-tropical blood could stand -- like one who gazes at Medusa i'd freeze into a statue once the temp went below 40 Fahrenheit).

one should make the best of circumstances but as for living in an area i didn't appreciate i must admit i'm a total weenis and would not survive long. although the forthcoming analogy isn't quite apt i'm reminded of my high-school age brother who once opined "i don't see why women being raped don't lie back and enjoy it..." ugh. maybe a better example would be telling a seriously depressed person to "be happy" or "snap out of it" when one has no real conception of clinical depression.

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Your friends may say that Iím a strangerMy face theyíll never see no moreThere is but one promise thatís givenIíll sail on Godís golden shore

Let me get this straight.... you're comparing a tongue and cheek comment about where to live to whether a woman should stop complaining while being raped? Or to snap out of it when clinically depressed? Interesting. And vaguely insulting.

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Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Let me get this straight.... you're comparing a tongue and cheek comment about where to live to whether a woman should stop complaining while being raped? Or to snap out of it when clinically depressed? Interesting. And vaguely insulting.

tongue and cheek? it didn't seem tongue in cheek to me so my apologies.

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So, the truth is that you can be happy anywhere.

after re-reading your post it still seems serious except for possibly the last paragraph about canada. as loath as i am to suggest them maybe you should use this kind of crap in case an insulting literalist misunderstands your tongue and cheek remarks --

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Your friends may say that Iím a strangerMy face theyíll never see no moreThere is but one promise thatís givenIíll sail on Godís golden shore

I hardly think that someone who channels ts eliot and posts involved references to jd salinger needs to be instructed on the use on nuance. I'm also reluctant to use emoticons to express irony. Call it cruel. But I like it when people don't get it. Except perhaps when someone whose fascinating outlook on life does the exceedingly rare: keep my attention.

Anyway, I am happy in Michigan, even though Detroit is the worst city on the planet. And, yes, I have been to Winnipeg. It took a long time to figure out how to be happy there, and it took time to accept the fact that part of the reason I hated it so much was that it wasn't Seattle. And, I was dating the worst human being, ever. But now.... well I've discovered some really wonderful, natural, beautiful things. And in the process, I've learned how to learn to be happy. But, I certainly don't recommend it.

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Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

I can't recall if it was on this board or not, but it set in recently that though I've moved around a bit in my life, every place of residence (except for two years) has been within 20 minutes of a 400 mile stretch of I-95.

I can't recall if it was on this board or not, but it set in recently that though I've moved around a bit in my life, every place of residence (except for two years) has been within 20 minutes of a 400 mile stretch of I-95.

That's not too surprising, actually. There ARE a lot of truck stops along I-95...

it doesn't matter where you move to... it's the people in the area that make it happen. secondly, there's the services that 'may/may not' be provided. thirdly, it's thy own self, on how to deal with it.

Wilton Manors is probably one of the most gay-friendly cities in the US --- practically all-gay. Most of the city council is gay; lots of restaurants, bars, and services. It is a suburb of Fort Lauderdale, Florida - located adjacent to Fort Laudy. Remember though, that as others have said, rent is higher down here and we do have the current ADAP crisis taking place (with the biggest wait list in the country). Summers are hot - but we do get an ocean breeze. Winters are great --- in the 70s for the most part.

I live in Miami to be close to my job - but if I had to move somewhere down here, it would be Wilton Manors. Have many friends who live there.

please take note that if you use ADAP, Florida (and 10 other states: Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Louisiana, Montana, North Carolina, Ohio, South Carolina, Virginia, Wyoming) are not the places to move too as you will not receive any ADAP services but end up on their waiting lists. (Connecticut is iffy too depending on what happens there in the near future). If you use Medicaid (or Food Stamps) don't forget to check on those programs too as many are being considered for defunding and/or eligibility requirements may be vastly different than where you currently live.