Do you get headaches every day? The overwhelming probability is that you have a deadly inoperable brain tumor. But also you can try less coffee and more sleep, maybe that will take your mind off it.

What is it with chronic fatigue syndrome? It's hard to get lots of money for research when all you sufferers are always so down in the dumps. Razz! Pizzazz! That's what we need!

Radiation is a natural part of our world. It's really nothing to worry about. I certainly wouldn't get myself worked up over it. I wouldn't get hectic over the issue. I definitely wouldn't panic about it. There's no reason to stress yourself over it. I'd be very copacetic about it, personally. Nothing about it would make me worried. I'd go easy on the nervousness. It shouldn't be a cause of concern. I'd just not think about it. Or not very much, at least. Just forget it.

In our March 10 Health Watch column, we reported that "Cancer Makes Lupus Look Like Such a Wuss." The following week, we received a very serious and lengthy email from a spokesperson at the Lupus Foundation of America stating "I am disappointed and shocked at your lack of understanding of how devastating this potentially fatal disease can be." (Not making this story up.) First, we would like to express our thanks to the Lupus Foundation of America for its tacit acknowledgment that Gawker Health Watch continues to be America's foremost respected source for lupus news. Suck it, Science Daily. Secondly, we would like to qualify our March 10 statement that we would "not believe" someone who told us that they had lupus, because "It seems very unlikely." At the time of that writing, we had assumed that lupus was a disease communicable only through the consumption of infected Froot Loops. What with the modern advances in food safety, it simply seemed beyond belief. We now understand that this is not the case—in fact, lupus has nothing whatsoever to do with Froot Loops. That was not an entirely "scientific" analysis on our part, and for that, we apologize. Lupus is indeed a very real and very devastating disease. I mean, it's no cancer. But still.