You can finally have the He-Man voice of your dreams, all thanks to the improbably named Eugene Feuchtinger

Who wouldn’t want a He-Man voice, even before there was a He-Man that would necessitate capitalizing the name? Who wouldn’t trust a man with a name like “Eugene Feuchtinger” to give it to them? Hey, is that him in the photo? Look, he’s talking on the phone and everything! Such confidence! Such rampant manliness!

One quibble, though: Is it the “Prefect” Voice Institute or the “Perfect” Voice Institute? Mr. Feuchtinger wouldn’t have such a glaring typo in his own itty-bitty ad, would he? WOULD HE?