Miss Manners: Librarian's outburst deserves a 'shush'

Sunday

Dear Miss Manners: I am at a loss about what to say to our nosy librarian.

Dear Miss Manners: I am at a loss about what to say to our nosy librarian.

No matter what books you are checking out, she reads the titles (often out loud and at a high volume so everyone else in the library can hear) and comments on your selections.

Examples: My husband works in health care and checked out some books on a private and potentially embarrassing disease to help put together a brochure for his clinic. This woman read the titles and asked him (in a loud voice) whether he has the disease.

Another time, I checked out a book of names. I am writing a novel and needed character ideas.

The librarian read the title and shrieked: "Are you pregnant?! It's too soon for you to be having another baby!" (I was holding my infant son at the time.)

We live in a very small town with limited library hours, so I can't just avoid going when she is working, because she's always there.

Gentle Reader: The way to get to a librarian is to imply that a profession requiring technologically sophisticated researching skills is populated solely by cranky old ladies whose only pleasure in life is to shush people.

Oh, and a few inhibited young ladies who could find love if only they removed their glasses.

Miss Manners suggests combining the two offensive images by giving the librarian one of those nearsighted looks and a regretful smile, and putting the forefinger vertically across your lips. Repeat as often as necessary.