I’m at the age where my friends are starting to have babies. My facebook is filled with pictures of babies. Cute babies. And extremely well-dressed babies. I often think back to when we 80’s babies were born. Let’s be real, we looked gross. Back then there wasn’t a style for kid’s clothing. It was just whatever was laying around. In these very modern times kids are now dressing better than adults. But I’ll tell you what–my kid is gonna look like crap, and they’re gonna like it.

All this fuss over kids looking perfect started to grow with the children of Hollywood. We pay more attention to them than the people in our families (at least I do). We are constantly studying what actors and actresses are wearing and what their kids look like. But hey, it’s fun to judge other people! Take it from little Suri Cruise, daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, one of the best fashion critics around. (I hope none of you think I’m actually referring to the real Suri Cruise because I don’t think she can spell her name yet, never mind judge people.)

Victoria Beckham’s son, Romeo, has been selected as the new face for Burberry. Don’t get me wrong, he can work a trench, but I feel like this is setting an unrealistic standard for other kids. How can they live up to a kid who was made with a gene pool built for gods and goddesses?

It seems that almost every designer brand now has a children’s line or a baby line. It’s frivolous and unnecessary because kids, especially babies, grow out of their clothes so quickly. Why bother? I won’t lie, seeing children dressed nicely for special occasions is sweet, but seeing them dolled up all the time makes me wonder what kind of perfect facade parents want to shelter their children under.

One of the best parts about being a kid is figuring out how to dress yourself and doing an absolutely terrible job at it. I remember getting a crocheted top that was meant to go over a tank top for Christmas one year when I was around 8 years old. I went to try it on upstairs and came down with no shirt underneath. You could clearly see my prepubescent nipples.

There was also nothing better than finding a staple outfit. And by staple outfit, I mean one that you can wear literally every day. I found my perfect outfit at Old Navy when I was 9. It was a denim dress with snap buttons going up the middle. I thought I looked like a classy broad in that dress. It was so comfortable and easy to throw on.

I had the same fashion sense as Dawn Wiener.

Also, if kids always look cute, they’ll never be embarrassed by old photos and videos which will cause their egos to inflate and we’ll have ourselves a world of narcissists. You see, there’s only room for one narcissist in this world and that’s me.

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38 thoughts on “Dress to Impress”

unfetteredbssays:

I still have the same fashion sense as Dawn Wiener. — it ain’t pretty and I don’t give a damn.
It is a parent’s job to make sure thier kid is suitably embarrassed by at least a dozen photographs. As a child of the 70’s– I am qualified to say this. But then again — having come of age in the 80’s– hey we rocked it (NOT) haaa.
as always– this insomiac thanks you for a laugh in the wee hours
Audra

Dawn Wiener has the most refreshing style. Kid’s need to be embarrassed! It’s part of life, right? The 70’s and 80’s were shameful times for us kids.It’s nice because if we’re ever feeling too high on ourselves, we can just look at old photos to knock us back down again!
Thanks for laughing Audra! That makes me happy 🙂

YES. My aunt is a great example of overly dressed babies and kids. Her son (my little cousin) is only 5 and she dresses him with RALPH LAUREN undies. Her daughter is 15 and she demands Juicy Couture. At her school, a classmate of hers refused to wear Primark clothes his mother bought for him (cheapass clothes shop in the UK), screaming “I’m not wearing that it’s not Calvin Klein!!!”

As a child of the 90’s, I am guilty of once wearing fluorescent-coloured elasticky shorts at one point, and those jelly-like gladiator sandals. bright pea-green pants with an orange shirt @_@

Ralph Lauren undies? Now I’ve heard everything. It’s a crazy world we live in. Your 15 year old cousin might be the new Paris HIlton–you better keep an eye on that one! When I lived in England, I loved Primark! Cheap clothes are great because once they fall apart, you just get to buy new cheap clothes again! A cycle that makes the world go round.

Haha I was also a 90’s child myself (I was born in ’87 so I got a bit of both!) and I loved jelly shoes! There were some stylin moments back then!

Soooo maybe I have the dirty-jeans, mystery stain Wal-Mart t-shirt looking kid, but he is happier than a pig in mud. I never really latched on to the whole idea of dressing babies up like fancy pants adults. Maybe because I’m not a fancy pants adult?

Hahah! My kids will look like crap and they’ll like it! LOL!!!!!
I Decided with you to just let you do your thing. Lots of parents interfere and I think that’s one big bad mistake. They think their kids are a reflection of them and they’re too insecure to let their kids go out mismatched. Not me. And now you have fun pictures to reflect your ever changing styles. And let’s be honest, you are one styling chicita.

Hah they will like it because they have no choice.
True. Kid’s need to be free otherwise they’ll be overly dependent and anxious when it comes to doing thing on their own. I feel like we’ve talked about this subject before… 😉
Hah thanks madre.

Some of my favorite parts of both your blog posts is reading the comments between you two. It’s like listening in on a party line. (Lisa, explain party line to Lily.) Now, as to this post, my wife just picked out new glasses for me. I allowed this because she has much better taste than I (which is no taste at all). I am now wearing Ralph Lauren. I guess they go with his underwear. They are made in Italy and have Polo Players on the inside of the frames and Polo written on the outside. I have never been this stylish in my entire life. When I got the bill for these glasses, I honestly thought they had put the decimal point in the wrong place. My first car did not cost as much as these frames. I am thinking about wearing my old glasses. I am afraid of breaking these new ones. I need to leave these new ones in my will. HF

Dude I know what a party line is. I hate to break it to you Harps, but new fancy glasses do not make you stylish. You have to make your old crappy glasses look cool and then you’ll be considered stylish! Thems the rules. Your wife is probably just desperate to make you look cool at this point. 😉
But that’s cute that you’re having a little proud moment about your new specs. Enjoy it. You can put me in your will if you want. Just leave me the good stuff.

Yes, my wife is finding it harder and harder to make me look cool! She keeps trying though. Please, allow Paul, when it’s time, to grow old gracefully. Do not fluff his hair and leave it sticking up here and that like it hasn’t been combed in a year. Do not keep telling him to unbutton the top button of his shirt or to trim the hairs out of his ears and nose. Let his just sit and remember past glories and conquests. HF

Hey, at least that’s a flattering look. I went to elementary school with some really unfortunately dress children. I think someone told them this matching rule because they would always wear matching sweatpants and sweatshirt. Who does that? Green, red, and purple were popular colors.

Dressing up is all fine and good for special occasions, but every day?! No way. I hate seeing children in uncomfortable clothing. Like little babies in JEANS. JEANS. Seriously? You know how heavy they are?! And shoes when they’re just learning to pick their feet up for walking. Why add a clunky pound?! It drives me nutts. Glad you’re in this boat with me, Lily.

Yes! I hate when babies wear shoes and jeans! Those two are the worst! Like, why shoes?! I think in China, they don’t put shoes on their babies for the first year of their life. That’s a smart idea.
Babies need soft clothes. Not indestructible denim! You got it!

Hahaha this comment was better than my entire post. I can imagine in the future kids will be wearing space suits and futuristic clothes and your kids will be wearing a potato sack or a barrel. God bless the Howorth children.

Hahahah omg. I’m dying. The visual is just too good. So pretty much, if you don’t want kids and you have them on accident, you really won’t have to worry because they’ll probably kill themselves by 4 years old.