Shocked by dh

I never pictured myself bf. Then dh suggested it while i was pregnant. So i did all my research and decided to give it a shot. Well here we are 6 months pp and still ebf. I couldnt imagine it any other way! Well, the other day we were talking about this next Christmas and i mention that ds will be around 18 months and i dont know how weened he'd be. Just saying ds might still be nursing at night at the least. My dh then tells me that i better be done bf him by a year because he thinks any longer is disgusting. He then continued to tell me that ive turned pycho about bf since i refused to pump. I didnt refuse... I had an over supply issue and was told not to. Unfortuntely that led to ds not taking a bottle. It wasnt my intention. My heart is crushed. I plan on letting son self ween but i cant believe he said something so hurtful! i was blindsided by his comment.

I never pictured myself bf. Then dh suggested it while i was pregnant. So i did all my research and decided to give it a shot. Well here we are 6 months pp and still ebf. I couldnt imagine it any other way! Well, the other day we were talking about this next Christmas and i mention that ds will be around 18 months and i dont know how weened he'd be. Just saying ds might still be nursing at night at the least. My dh then tells me that i better be done bf him by a year because he thinks any longer is disgusting. He then continued to tell me that ive turned pycho about bf since i refused to pump. I didnt refuse... I had an over supply issue and was told not to. Unfortuntely that led to ds not taking a bottle. It wasnt my intention. My heart is crushed. I plan on letting son self ween but i cant believe he said something so hurtful! i was blindsided by his comment.

That sucks (for lack of a better word!) that he said something so insensitive, especially after being the one to recommend it in the first place. Btw congrats on BFing. I would just ignore his comment for now. No use in havin a fight about the theoretical future. My ds is 18 months now and we still bf. No signs of self weaning yet! Anyways, I thing the American pediatrics society recommends till the age of two, but not sure. Anyways it so good for your baby , just keep that in mind.

That sucks (for lack of a better word!) that he said something so insensitive, especially after being the one to recommend it in the first place. Btw congrats on BFing. I would just ignore his comment for now. No use in havin a fight about the theoretical future. My ds is 18 months now and we still bf. No signs of self weaning yet! Anyways, I thing the American pediatrics society recommends till the age of two, but not sure. Anyways it so good for your baby , just keep that in mind.

Sometimes people are ignorant and say things without knowing what they are talking about. Maybe you should let your dh read some of the research and articles about the benefits of bf. maybe that will enlighten him and he'll be less insensitive. You are a great mommy for sticking with bf! Good luck.

Sometimes people are ignorant and say things without knowing what they are talking about. Maybe you should let your dh read some of the research and articles about the benefits of bf. maybe that will enlighten him and he'll be less insensitive. You are a great mommy for sticking with bf! Good luck.

The World Health Organisation recommends BF to two years and the world average is actually 5yrs! I doubt I'd go that far, but maybe if he knew how widespread extended BF is he might not think its so weird and disgusting. Good on you for planning to let your LO decide when to wean!

The World Health Organisation recommends BF to two years and the world average is actually 5yrs! I doubt I'd go that far, but maybe if he knew how widespread extended BF is he might not think its so weird and disgusting. Good on you for planning to let your LO decide when to wean!

Men can be so thoughtless. My DH always talked about us being done at a year. He's worried DS will remember and thinks that will be weird. DH remembers stuff from when he was 1 (like inane things that he couldn't pick up from photos or talking when he was older). Anyway, my point is we were discussing supplementing (DS is 6 months) and to my surprise DH commented on how sad DS will be and not wanting to take the boob away before he's ready. With that encouragement and support I'm going to try a little harder. So your DH could change his tune! Good luck!

Men can be so thoughtless. My DH always talked about us being done at a year. He's worried DS will remember and thinks that will be weird. DH remembers stuff from when he was 1 (like inane things that he couldn't pick up from photos or talking when he was older). Anyway, my point is we were discussing supplementing (DS is 6 months) and to my surprise DH commented on how sad DS will be and not wanting to take the boob away before he's ready. With that encouragement and support I'm going to try a little harder. So your DH could change his tune! Good luck!

Remind him that the facts about health benefits and your God-given instinct as a mother override the negative way Western society has portrayed breasts and breastfeeding. ?In modern consumer society, the attack on mother-child eroticism took its total form; breastfeeding was proscribed and the breasts reserved for the husband's fetishistic delectation. At the same time, babies were segregated, put into cold beds alone and not picked up if they cried.? ~Germaine Greer

Remind him that the facts about health benefits and your God-given instinct as a mother override the negative way Western society has portrayed breasts and breastfeeding. ?In modern consumer society, the attack on mother-child eroticism took its total form; breastfeeding was proscribed and the breasts reserved for the husband's fetishistic delectation. At the same time, babies were segregated, put into cold beds alone and not picked up if they cried.? ~Germaine Greer

1-2 yrs completely understandable ... My twins are 6.5 months and Im hoping to go to a year even if it's just once or twice a day. BUT 5 years I think would cause emotional problems in the child. Isn't that kindergarten age.? That IMO is a little disturbing. Maybe pumping and giving in a cup.(maybe that's what they mean surely) if you thought your child just had to have it but def not nursing.

1-2 yrs completely understandable ... My twins are 6.5 months and Im hoping to go to a year even if it's just once or twice a day. BUT 5 years I think would cause emotional problems in the child. Isn't that kindergarten age.? That IMO is a little disturbing. Maybe pumping and giving in a cup.(maybe that's what they mean surely) if you thought your child just had to have it but def not nursing.

I think your husbands opinion should be taken into consideration. If men are expected to be involved in the raising of our children, then why shouldn't their views on the child's diet be considered. The decision to breastfeed and for how long is a personal one-but not just personal for the mother. Maybe start a dialogue with your husband about why you would like to continue.
This is a very common concern for fathers, and especially in the US where breastfeeding isn't as common and very few mothers even make it to a year.

I think your husbands opinion should be taken into consideration. If men are expected to be involved in the raising of our children, then why shouldn't their views on the child's diet be considered. The decision to breastfeed and for how long is a personal one-but not just personal for the mother. Maybe start a dialogue with your husband about why you would like to continue.
This is a very common concern for fathers, and especially in the US where breastfeeding isn't as common and very few mothers even make it to a year.

My dh is all for bfing but thinks anything past 1 year is weird/disgusting/inappropriate too. They're so dumb! I've always said that I want to bf for at least 18 months but ideally would go 2-2.5 years or until dd self weaned. I told people that many times in front of dh but he never mentioned that he wants me to stop after 1 year until dd was a few months old. I told him that the WHO recommends bfing for at LEAST 2 years and he agreed to "let me" bf for 2 years but no longer, and he still thinks anything after 1 is weird. Honestly, he can go F himself. I will bf my child for as long as I want. My dd will be 1 in less than a month and I couldn't imagine cutting her off, she still relies on it so much for nutrition and comfort; plus all the games we play while is bfing are awesome.

My dh is all for bfing but thinks anything past 1 year is weird/disgusting/inappropriate too. They're so dumb! I've always said that I want to bf for at least 18 months but ideally would go 2-2.5 years or until dd self weaned. I told people that many times in front of dh but he never mentioned that he wants me to stop after 1 year until dd was a few months old. I told him that the WHO recommends bfing for at LEAST 2 years and he agreed to "let me" bf for 2 years but no longer, and he still thinks anything after 1 is weird. Honestly, he can go F himself. I will bf my child for as long as I want. My dd will be 1 in less than a month and I couldn't imagine cutting her off, she still relies on it so much for nutrition and comfort; plus all the games we play while is bfing are awesome.

My husband makes comments like this. He is also pretty angry that I don't pump constantly. I think he is jealous and frustrated with how time consuming ebf can be. And I try to explain that pumping is even more time consuming, but he doesn't get it. He also wanted me to breastfeed, but now he can't wait for me to be done.

My husband makes comments like this. He is also pretty angry that I don't pump constantly. I think he is jealous and frustrated with how time consuming ebf can be. And I try to explain that pumping is even more time consuming, but he doesn't get it. He also wanted me to breastfeed, but now he can't wait for me to be done.

I honestly wouldnt worry about it. wait until u are closer to that timeframe cuz I cant imagine nursing wild 2.5 yr old but when they r babies they are so calm. just take it with time and take his opinion into it to, equal parents. gl.

I honestly wouldnt worry about it. wait until u are closer to that timeframe cuz I cant imagine nursing wild 2.5 yr old but when they r babies they are so calm. just take it with time and take his opinion into it to, equal parents. gl.

My DH was also worried about it. I don't think they realize how much of an infant they still are at a year, plus. I also don't think they understand that as they get older and start eating more solids their nursing cuts down. My DS is 17 mo and mostly nurses when he's tired, hurt, or frustrated. Approximately 2-3 times a day and then through the night. Just take it as it comes. My DH has changed his thinking as he's seen how DS had benefited from it. I even overheard him telling his family the DS will be done when he's done. (proud moment!)

My DH was also worried about it. I don't think they realize how much of an infant they still are at a year, plus. I also don't think they understand that as they get older and start eating more solids their nursing cuts down. My DS is 17 mo and mostly nurses when he's tired, hurt, or frustrated. Approximately 2-3 times a day and then through the night. Just take it as it comes. My DH has changed his thinking as he's seen how DS had benefited from it. I even overheard him telling his family the DS will be done when he's done. (proud moment!)

WHO recommends 2 years, but think about that. Worldwide, there are a lot of undeveloped countries that lack adequate food sources. BFing for two years is the best option. FWIW, my husband wants me to stop at 12 months old. I'm okay with stopping then. BFing is great, but it is a full time job.

WHO recommends 2 years, but think about that. Worldwide, there are a lot of undeveloped countries that lack adequate food sources. BFing for two years is the best option. FWIW, my husband wants me to stop at 12 months old. I'm okay with stopping then. BFing is great, but it is a full time job.

He might also be feeling left out and a bit hurt that he can't help in the feedings. I'm just wondering if that's where the comment about pumping came from. Try not to focus on what he said but figure out where it is coming from. Does he feel like less of a parent? Does he miss your boobs as a sexual thing? He may be lashing out for other reasons. Show him research, but I would ask what's really going on and tell him that he hurt you. Just my opinion. Good Luck!!

He might also be feeling left out and a bit hurt that he can't help in the feedings. I'm just wondering if that's where the comment about pumping came from. Try not to focus on what he said but figure out where it is coming from. Does he feel like less of a parent? Does he miss your boobs as a sexual thing? He may be lashing out for other reasons. Show him research, but I would ask what's really going on and tell him that he hurt you. Just my opinion. Good Luck!!

Disgusting...what a harsh and dramatic word. Do you think it's hypocritical of him to be accepting of breastfeeding your child at 11.5 months and not accepting of it at 12.5 months? Maybe when the times comes and he sees just how alike the two are he will not have such a strong opinion on the matter.

I don't know what your sleeping arrangements are but in my case, if my DH demanded that we be done breastfeeding at one year I would have to tell him that his job will then become consoling the screaming 1 year old all night long. The magical powers of the booby don't stop when they turn 1, hopefully your DH will consider how quickly a nursing session can fix everything that is wrong.

Disgusting...what a harsh and dramatic word. Do you think it's hypocritical of him to be accepting of breastfeeding your child at 11.5 months and not accepting of it at 12.5 months? Maybe when the times comes and he sees just how alike the two are he will not have such a strong opinion on the matter.

I don't know what your sleeping arrangements are but in my case, if my DH demanded that we be done breastfeeding at one year I would have to tell him that his job will then become consoling the screaming 1 year old all night long. The magical powers of the booby don't stop when they turn 1, hopefully your DH will consider how quickly a nursing session can fix everything that is wrong.

I'm so glad I found this thread. Nice to know I'm not alone!! My DH has NEVER supported my decision to BF our daughter. She is 12.5 months now and still BFing, too. I went back to work when she was 7 weeks old (sad day), so of course I started pumping then, but I started pumping before that just to get in the swing of it. But DD refused bottles. DH never got to feed her, and that bothered him. I tried to explain to him that there were other things he could do with her to bond besides feeding, but I guess its a big thing for some people. Once I started work, I didn't WANT her to have bottles if I was with her, cause that meant I had to pump even more. DH wanted me to start her on solids at like 3 months. His dad told him that something was wrong with a baby who wasn't on solids by 3 months. Who knows where that tid bit came from...ugh.

DH started really pushing solids around 5 months. So did his entire family. It drove me insane. They all got to where they'd try to hide their food from DD, sayin stuff like they felt guilty eating in front of her because her mama wouldn't let her eat, too! (DH's mother didn't BF any of her 4 kids, so I guess they think BFing is wierd. My mother BF'd me and my brother for over a year each, and I have her full support, thankfully.) I gave in at 6 months and let DD try some squash. She loved it, but I could tell she wasn't really ready to get solids regularly. I would give her a few spoonfuls of squash a few times a week, whenever DH would say something about it. If he forgot about it, I didn't do it. And you know what? DD didnt care! She kept right on BFing and was totally happy - and fat! lol

When DD turned 9 months, she really started on solids. I felt she was ready, and she was really interested in food at that point. DH's family was thrilled, but then that brought all new battles, like me not wanting DD to have cake and ice cream, etc. Grr! Through all this, DH has constantly asked me when I'm going to wean DD. I've always said whenever she's ready to wean, that's when she'll wean. I decided to quit pumping at a year - I was so tired of it and DD got where she wouldn't drink my milk while I was at work, anyway. DH was thrilled because he thought I was weaning her. He understands now that DD still nurses before I go to work and after I get home (and during the night if she wakes up, but she rarely does). I don't think he likes it, but for now he's not saying anything.

For the entire past year, DH has not allowed me to nurse in front of hardly anyone. He doesn't think its gross, but he thinks it needs to be done in private. He doesn't mind if my mama watches me nurse, or other women in my family, but that's about it. If we're at his parent's house, I have to go to a bedroom. On Christmas, DD got hungry and I had to tell everyone to stop opening presents so I could go to the other room and nurse her. Could have just nursed her right where I was but DH would have had a fit. (And his family probably would have, as well.) I have told DH numerous times that the AAP and WHO both recommend nursing for at LEAST 2 years, but he thinks its stupid. Its just hard for someone who's never breastfed a child to understand, I guess.

I'm so glad I found this thread. Nice to know I'm not alone!! My DH has NEVER supported my decision to BF our daughter. She is 12.5 months now and still BFing, too. I went back to work when she was 7 weeks old (sad day), so of course I started pumping then, but I started pumping before that just to get in the swing of it. But DD refused bottles. DH never got to feed her, and that bothered him. I tried to explain to him that there were other things he could do with her to bond besides feeding, but I guess its a big thing for some people. Once I started work, I didn't WANT her to have bottles if I was with her, cause that meant I had to pump even more. DH wanted me to start her on solids at like 3 months. His dad told him that something was wrong with a baby who wasn't on solids by 3 months. Who knows where that tid bit came from...ugh.

DH started really pushing solids around 5 months. So did his entire family. It drove me insane. They all got to where they'd try to hide their food from DD, sayin stuff like they felt guilty eating in front of her because her mama wouldn't let her eat, too! (DH's mother didn't BF any of her 4 kids, so I guess they think BFing is wierd. My mother BF'd me and my brother for over a year each, and I have her full support, thankfully.) I gave in at 6 months and let DD try some squash. She loved it, but I could tell she wasn't really ready to get solids regularly. I would give her a few spoonfuls of squash a few times a week, whenever DH would say something about it. If he forgot about it, I didn't do it. And you know what? DD didnt care! She kept right on BFing and was totally happy - and fat! lol

When DD turned 9 months, she really started on solids. I felt she was ready, and she was really interested in food at that point. DH's family was thrilled, but then that brought all new battles, like me not wanting DD to have cake and ice cream, etc. Grr! Through all this, DH has constantly asked me when I'm going to wean DD. I've always said whenever she's ready to wean, that's when she'll wean. I decided to quit pumping at a year - I was so tired of it and DD got where she wouldn't drink my milk while I was at work, anyway. DH was thrilled because he thought I was weaning her. He understands now that DD still nurses before I go to work and after I get home (and during the night if she wakes up, but she rarely does). I don't think he likes it, but for now he's not saying anything.

For the entire past year, DH has not allowed me to nurse in front of hardly anyone. He doesn't think its gross, but he thinks it needs to be done in private. He doesn't mind if my mama watches me nurse, or other women in my family, but that's about it. If we're at his parent's house, I have to go to a bedroom. On Christmas, DD got hungry and I had to tell everyone to stop opening presents so I could go to the other room and nurse her. Could have just nursed her right where I was but DH would have had a fit. (And his family probably would have, as well.) I have told DH numerous times that the AAP and WHO both recommend nursing for at LEAST 2 years, but he thinks its stupid. Its just hard for someone who's never breastfed a child to understand, I guess.

Ya.. he was my only support. I dont get why people are so weird about it. It's the most natural thing I've ever done. I know what you mean about people with the solids. I actually had my FIL try to feed him cracker when he was 3 months old because I was "starving him". So annoying!!

Ya.. he was my only support. I dont get why people are so weird about it. It's the most natural thing I've ever done. I know what you mean about people with the solids. I actually had my FIL try to feed him cracker when he was 3 months old because I was "starving him". So annoying!!

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