Writing your own obit? Here's how to get started

Mar. 31, 2014
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by Maria Puente, USA TODAY

by Maria Puente, USA TODAY

You might feel a little intimidated writing your own obit, and you would not be alone.

Not just because of the topic but because writing in general is hard, and writing about one's self is harder. Especially if it's about something meaningful and it's more than 140 characters.

"Most people don't feel they have the writing ability - they feel inadequate to the task," says Susan Soper, an obit writer who helps people write their own with her $20 Obitkit workbook.

Older people, in their '70s and '80s, for instance, grew up in an era when it was considered impolite or tacky to talk about one's self. Unlike their children and grandchildren, they are not tempted by the allure of Twitter or Facebook, where it's all about sharing 24/7.

But here's the advantage. YOU control the narrative.

Here are some tips about tackling your own obit from experts like Soper and from various websites, such as Legacy.com.

1.Don't put it off. You're not getting any younger. Just get it started, even if you don't finish.

2. Think of it as a final letter you're writing to your family and don't worry about whether it will be published in the wider world.

3. Gather important documents and take a deep dive through family photo albums. It can be a deeper experience doing it with, say, a sibling, who might remember something about you that you forgot.

4. Ask yourself questions: What are the facts and dates about you - birth, education, marriage, children, military service, career achievements, spiritual life, etc.?

8. What is the most important thing you learned on your life journey that you want to pass on?

9. Mix seriousness with humor, whimsy with sobriety. Yes, you're going to be dead when they read this but it shouldn't be a total downer.

10. Leave your obit where someone will find it after you're gone, along with your will and important legal papers, key passwords, and your final wishes about funeral services, music, readings and charities you want to support.