Husband Running Away From His Wife!

Question:

I have recently started wearing Niqab after taking my husband’s permission. He said I could if I wanted to. My life has changed for the better since I started observing Hijab. I pray all my Salaah as well as Quran and Tahajjud Salaah daily. I make my kids pray their Salaah as well. My husband now has a problem with me wearing the Niqab and says we are on different levels. He treats me differently; when we go out in public or shopping, he does not walk with me because he feels ashamed that his wife is in Hijab.He walks far away from me like im not his wife. I refuse to stop wearing the Niqab and go back to my old lifestyle. How should I react to my husband?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Alhamdulillah, it is encouraging to note that you have started wearing Niqab(veil).Your natural instinct of shame and modesty exemplified itself. It is also encouraging to note you perform your daily Salaah as well as Tahajjud. You also nature your children to perform Salaah. May Allah keep you firm and steadfast on the righteous path. Aameen.

Your husband’s attitude in distancing himself from you when you go shopping is unfortunate. A woman in Niqab draws the attention of people who do not understand the wisdom of this modest dressing. They react in different ways; some find the dress funny and raise eyebrows while others observe closely out of curiosity. In an Islamaphobic environment such a woman may be classified as a ‘terrorist’s’ wife. A husband whose wife is observing Niqab should be proud of her. She is concealing her beauty, form, and shape exclusively for him. The husband should value her for this attitude and give her all the support. He should walk proudly besides her with a smile to demonstrate that he too believes in his wife’s dressing. If one looks at her differently or passes a comment, overlook it. If the husband feels some discomfort, his support and sacrifice is more valuable and greater than 1000’s of Rakaa’hs of Nafl Salaah. Such a husband is actually upholding the flag and values of Islam. If a non Muslim observes the husband walking away from his wife, it is possible he may conclude that the husband is not comfortable with his wife’s dress. That conveys a negative message about a Muslim woman’s dress and the overall idea behind such a dress and Islam in general. The husband’s attitude displays a weak Iman and an inferiority complex.

You should consider discussing your concerns with your husband and try to understand why he reacts the way he does. Encourage him and make him feel strong. At times, the strong Iman of a woman can have a positive impact on the husband. He could gain strength and courage through her. There are many Muslim women in the western world and in the midst of Kufr with all its values who don the Niqab without any difficulty and discomfort. The reality is we should be raising eyebrows at the immoral dress of the disbelievers, not that we should be uncomfortable in what we believe is the right dress code. Influence people with our correct values and don’t be wrongly influenced.

Hadeeth of the Day

Narrated Abud-Darda' (Radhi Allahu anhu) , I heard the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) saying, "Whenever a Muslim supplicates for his (Muslim) brother in his absence, the angels say: `May the same be for you too'. {Muslim}

IDENTIFY YOUR MARITAL PROBLEM

This forum serves to highlight some common marital problems and offer solutions to such problems.These problems have been personally witnessed and handled by Sheikh Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Hafidhahullah) over a period of 18 years.

When you are in a marital dispute, reconcile with your husband while you have an upper hand. This will be better for your dignity and personal happiness.

If you are stubborn or petty and lose that opportunity to reconcile with dignity, you may be forced to reconcile while you are on the back foot due to personal circumstances, then you will have to blame yourself for losing the opportunity to display your dignity which may negatively impact on the future of your marriage.