Epic journey led to shattering family revelation

TOWN SQUARE

Tom Burick, the tiger in the middle, holds hands with his younger brothers… (CONTRIBUTED PHOTO, THE…)

June 13, 2012|Bill White

Child sex abuse is front and center every day as the horrific Jerry Sandusky trial continues.

Perhaps even more significant in terms of the broad impact of the alleged crimes was the trial of Philadelphia Monsignor William Lynn, accused of transferring pedophile priests to unwitting parishes to cover up their activities, and Rev. William Brennan, accused of raping a 14-year-old boy in 1996. The jury is in its second week of deliberations.

I thought this would be an appropriate time to redirect your attention to Tom Burick, the western Pennsylvania man I've written about a few times, mostly recently in connection with what at that point was his imminent departure on a 10,000-mile, three-nation Journey From Silence to combat child sex abuse by raising money and awareness.

Burick says he was repeatedly molested by an extended family member in 1982 at the age of 14. When he finally got the courage to tell his parents two years later, they refused to contact authorities.

We formed a connection because Burick stumbled across my blog posts on child sex abuse after the events at Penn State began rekindling his own horrible memories. I ended up quoting his account of what happened to him, using his name with his permission.

I didn't understand at the time just how significant all this would be to him and the stigma he had hidden from all these years. "To see my name in that article, to see those words in my own voice, I think that's when things started to pick up speed and change," he told me. That transformation eventually led to this epic journey aboard a little 50cc Honda scooter.

Since his departure in April, I've been following his adventures, mostly via his great photos and commentary at journeyfromsilence.com, with occasional emails thrown in. My primary goal in writing about it today is to encourage you to visit that site and see for yourself what an amazing trip it already has been.

His story has had a profound effect on many of the people he has met and many others who have followed his progress from afar. His most recent post explains that he's still in Texas, being warned that his original plan to ride through Mexico to the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mexico City, was too dangerous. An official at the U.S. embassy in Mexico told him that "recently, [the official] had to travel from Mexico City to the Texas border and had an armed escort of 50 men in armored vehicles." Traveling the same route alone on a scooter? Not a good idea.

What I really wanted, though, was to share part of another of Burick's most recent blog posts involving a family member who agreed to have Burick make public something that he said happened to him. With Burick's permission, I've included the photo that accompanied it.

This is incredibly painful and difficult for me to write about.

Out of nowhere, I received a text from my younger brother today. In this text he told me that he had also been sexually abused by the same man that sexually abused me. I was stunned beyond belief. I read it 4 times before I could process it.

This is the first time he's ever talked about it in 30 years. As soon as I was able to comprehend the text I started to cry… my head was spinning and it was hard to breathe. I called him immediately.

Why did I not do a better job of protecting him? I honestly thought for all these years that he was "safe"…that he escaped the abuse. Guilt, helplessness, more rage …

Then more things started making sense … I have another brother that had suffered a lot of similar problems that I suffered as a teenager … depression, anxiety, thoughts of suicide. Then it hit me … OH, NO… not HIM too … Could it have happened to ALL THREE OF US?

It's been a tornado of emotions all day … it's 9pm at night and I am still spinning … it feels like a different world. For 30 years I thought my brothers were SAFE and I felt like I did a good job of protecting them … and somehow it feels as if I've failed. The reality is that I was 13 years old and there is nothing I could have done back then to prevent it.

There I am in the middle … I'm the tiger holding their hands … not feeling like much of a tiger at the moment. I know I could not have done anything to protect them … I was just a kid myself … but I'm the oldest brother and it's my job to watch out for my little brothers. Ironically, with my youngest brother Todd, he's the one who's been watching out for me in recent years … he's helped me countless times and in countless ways … Todd, I am sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve it little brother.

You have my word that I will take this pain and transform it into something good for both of us. I am on a truly blessed journey and I feel like I have heaven and earth behind us …

I'm haunted by that photo. Maybe it's because with the faces covered, those children could be any of us or our own kids.

I know there are other victims out there reading this. I pray that more and more of you will find the courage, as Tom Burick did, to tear off your masks and confront your pain.