Secretary: Mr. Powell?Powell: Yes?Secretary: I’m pregnant.Powell: You told me you were on the piGAASecretary: By your father.

Episode Three

Complainant: Look, I’m telling you that my neighbors are sending pornographic material over the airwaves! They need to be fined.FCC Controller: Sir, ogling your daughter while she sunbathes does not involve the airwaves.Complainant: ButGAAController: I’d strongly suggest that you just advise her to find a more discreet location.Complainant: But then I’d have to reinstall the webcam.

Episode Four

Commissioner Abernathy: So, what’s your finding?Counsel: Sir, we find the particular instance under question to not meet the criteria for obscenity.Chairman Powell: So you don’t think it appeals to the prurient interests of the average American?Counsel: No sir, we think that it does.Commissioner Adelstein: And you don’t think it depicts, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct as defined by our guidelines?Counsel: No ma’am. It depicts that for sure.Commissioner Martin: So, what then?Counsel: It is our opinion that the videos of Chairman Powell having sexual relations with a donkey carry with them significant political and scientific value.Commissioner Kopps: He’s got a point, Mike.

Network Executive: Look, all we want is to show two pair of tits each season.FCC Controller: Wait wait, is that two tits or two pair of tits?Exec: Two pair.Controller: So I’m hearing four tits total. Four tits?Exec: Four tits.Controller: Says here you already filled your tit quota last Thursday.Exec: Last Thursday?Controller: With Cancer: The Tragedy and Its Survivors.Exec: Fucking Ad Council.

Episode Seven

Colin Powell: Son?Michael Powell: Yeah?Colin Powell: I hate you son.Michael Powell: ButGAAColin Powell: Your mother and I both hate you.Michael Powell: Why did you get my secretary pregGAAColin Powell: So the child will hate you.