The singer had famously promised the oral sex last month — “And I am good,” she added, lest anyone question her gratification qualifications — but when a Hillary supporter, armed with a selfie of his ballot, showed up to claim the prize, he was greeted with derision.

“Ha ha ha ha,” laughed the security guard at her Madgesty’s Upper East Side manse. “I didn’t get that information, sorry, man.”

He then hung up, leaving a reporter with the ultimate hanging chad. Indeed, given that I was the only man seeking to have my ballot punched, I wanted to ask a follow-up question: Was Madonna upset that no men showed up to be rewarded for saying “I’m with her”?

There are only two possible conclusions a reasonable person could draw:

1. Men declined to show up because they did not want anything special from Madonna.