Five reasons the Europe debates were hopelessly one-sided

Nick Clegg smiling (clue: this was before the debate (Photo: Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)

You don’t know for sure until you try it. Now Nick Clegg, self-appointed champion of Britain’s fast-disappearing pro-Europe camp, has tried taking on Nigel Farage. It didn’t go well.

Last night saw the second of two Europe debates in which the Ukip leader comprehensively defeated Clegg. I thought the first clash had seen the deputy PM actually perform better than Farage, but instant polls handed it to the eurosceptics. Last night, though, was just agonising:

So what caused this catastrophe for those of us who believe staying in Europe might actually have one or two benefits? Here’s five miserable little reasons…

1. Defending the status quo is impossible

It’s been this way since the beginning of time: when a problem emerges, politicians know that some sort of change has to be provided to placate angry voters. The European Union, which has been left to fester into a monstrous pustule of angry resentment, is now a problem of continent-sized proportions. So yet another attempt to suggest it’s for the best if everything stays the same was always just not going to work.

2. Clegg looked evasive on the facts

The deputy prime minister doesn’t have a great reputation as a champion of anything these days. He’s been tainted by the tuition fees and complicity in the coalition’s austerity agenda. This is why when he was brought to book on the claim that just seven per cent of legislation originates from Brussels, not London, his complex reply didn’t look great. The Lib Dems can get away with this sort of statistical game-playing in their election leaflets, but not in a format like this.

3. Farage played the patriotism card brilliantly

‘Nick Farage’, as David Dimbleby called him last night, has become a past master at the art of harnessing British patriotism. He’s able to tie almost anything into the idea that Britain’s greatness is somehow being shackled by its involvement in Europe. This sort of jingoistic flag-waving isn’t even the fervently embarrassing kind, either – it’s being delivered in a firm, robust ‘no-nonsense’ tone which voters are bound to respond to with enthusiasm.

4. Nick Clegg’s Putin joke was terrible

Clegg was expected to criticise Farage for having admitted he’s a great admirer of the west’s public enemy number one – Russian president Vladimir Putin. And he duly did so, but only after first making an utterly terrible joke. ‘If I’m the party of “in”, Nigel Farage is the party of “Put-in”,’ Clegg said. The studio audience stared in baffled silence. These efforts are well-meaning but thoroughly terrible. Clegg was as polished as the Downing Street Cabinet table – and just as wooden.

5. European elections on the way

Next month sees Britain vote in its MEPs for another five years of taxpayer-funded bliss in Brussels and Strasbourg. Ukip did well in 2009 but this year they’re expected to perform even better – potentially even winning outright.

Such a development has been on the horizon for months, and so far nothing’s really emerged to mar the Ukip storyline.

Oh yes, there’s been terrible tales about Ukip’s ‘loons’ saying unacceptable things – the councillor who linked flooding to gay marriage being one of them – but these haven’t come close to stopping Farage’s political momentum. Going into these debates, the direction of travel was all one-way.

After last week’s more balanced contest, I suggested the open secret behind this staged clash was that both sides would benefit, taking votes from the awol Labour and Conservative leaders Ed Miliband and David Cameron.

This time round, I think it’s still win-win. It’s just that both ‘wins’ go to Nigel Farage.