Thursday, January 28, 2010

Alright, am I missing something? As far as I can tell, the only funny thing about this comic is the title, Retro Virus, which is at least a halfway decent pun. Other than that, it just seems like an excuse to remind people of stuff that was popular in 2003, for that whole "if I say something you remember, you'll think it's funny when it isn't" strategy that xkcd loves so much.

Apparently some washington post blog is having a little old vote on which webcomic is best. I myself know better than to care about the results of this highly unscientific and meaningless poll, but still, if you want to vote for one, you might as well. XKCD was winning but now it's in a very, very distant 4th, so that's not so terrible. Most of the comics were things I had never heard of. My own opinion is that PBF is the best on that list (with Kate Beaton / Hark a Vagrant being awesome in a different way) so I am ok with the standings now.

------------------------

In other news, am I the only one who hadn't seen the pilot for The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret? If you liked Arrested Development, you should at least take a look, given that Will Arnett and David Cross are in it. I think it shows promise, and the last big scene is a really good example of what I mean when I say chaos is funny. Come up with a well engineered chaos scene and I will likely laugh heartily. Of course, it's hard to pull that off in a static format like xkcd, because nothing actually moving makes it harder to convey the energy you need, but still. um, think about it?

Posted by
Carl

63 comments:

I'm trying to figure this one out. At first it seems like it's just two arrogant Linux nerds making fun of someone for using Windows (and his phrasing "this Windows box" as opposed to "my computer" suggests that it is not his only computer and he indeed uses another OS on another), but the alt-text seems to be sarcastically making fun of people like the aforementioned Linux nerds.

Is Randall gloating with them or making fun of them? It's difficult to tell. Either way, stupid and unfunny.

Sigh. Here comes the "omg so poignant" posts on the xkcd forums. People are actually saying it made them cry.

Only plus to today's comic is a little bit more effort on the drawing and some color.

But no, it's not "poignant" or "heavy" or "deep" or "a few fathoms" or anything. The idea of abandoned machines doing their job, neglected until they shut down is... well, as old as machines themselves. He didn't bring anything new to that idea, he just referenced a current event.

What's the deal with all those obscure webcomics and no mention of Dinosaur Comics or Pictures for Sad Children? For all I know half those comics are better than anything I read, but a lot less notable. I just don't see how anyone saw a point in including them.

I did a double take on the "expected to operational" thinking I was misreading it until I realized no, Randall just didn't proofread it.

Also this made people cry? WHAT? Seriously? It is a hunk of metal. It has no feelings. IT CANNOT FEEL. I just...what...I don't even...ARGH.

I knew I shouldn't have read the forums. People are saying this is the best xkcd recently? And one person even said "My friends say xkcd is losing its touch, but this proves them wrong!"

Dear God I hope I never become that delusional. I have to give props to the person on there who posted the VG Cats comic that was at least slightly amusing and extremely applicable. And a special "Fuck you" to the asshole who compared it to the Fry's dog episode of Futurama, which WAS actually emotionally stirring. I feel offended now. I'm going to go try and calm my murderous rages.

I don't know. Having a machine think like a human is a joke that Randall has never made before. I was really looking forward to an epic, 10-panel version of that joke. This latest update will remain comprehensible, current and funny for years to come.

If you need to explain a comic's premise in the alt-text, it's probably not a good comic. It's like going to a stand-up comedy show and getting a program that explains all of the topical references he's going to make.

The idea of abandoned machines doing their job, neglected until they shut down is... well, as old as machines themselves. He didn't bring anything new to that idea, he just referenced a current event."

I'd say the fact that this machine, which worked twenty times longer than it was supposed to, was abandoned on another planet, makes it such a good example of the old idea to which you refer, that it is quite worth saying.

This is the best xkcd in a while--I would say it's even good on its own merits.

What bugs me the most is that he's referring to Windows as Win32. Nobody calls it that. Even nerds don't.

The term Win32 is used in only two contexts:1. To refer to the Win32 API (which isn't technically called that anymore either, but people still call it that)2. To specifically distinguish it from 16 bit or 64 bit Windows.

Neither of those applies here. I've never heard anyone say "Win32 virus". So why did he use the term? Because he thought it was more l33t?

Where was all this misplaced sympathy when the "FIRST" robot fried the others? Everyone seemed to be aware that robots are just metal and plastic then, but slap a thought bubble overtop, and suddenly it's "sad".

Except that's not what the Win32 in virus designation means -- it's not a family name, but rather it's the 'format' (for lack of a better term). Viruses that hang around as Win32 executables are Win32.whatever, DOS viruses would be DOS.whatever, etc.

However, I'll agree with you that that's probably what he was referring to; that, or he wanted to sound like a major dick since (like Sven says) people just don't refer to Win32 like that in general.

I want to express my astonishment to see a fully colored xkcd. I mean, wow!Also, the coloring AND the setting is very much like a lot of Calvin & Hobbes Sunday strips. Only the actual drawings (and the joke) aren't as good.

All in all, I thought this was pretty cool. It just shows that a little bit of coloring can make a mediocre strip kind of nice. He should do that more often.

(Yes I know there were colored comics on xkcd before, but either they were those huge comics he only makes in order to sell posters of them, or it was ages ago that he made them, for example the Parody Week stuff.)

The Spirit comic was the first xkcd comic to make me laugh out loud. The idea of an anthropomorphic robot being abandoned for eternity despite it trying so hard to please its makers really tickled my funny bone. Once I read the forums and realized I was supposed to feel sad for the robot, my enthusiasm for the comic dropped considerably.

I'm glad to see PBF doing so well in the poll. I had to vote for Penny-Arcade though. It still updates (regularly at that), is consistently funny IMO, and gets bonus points for the creators being awesome with PAX and Child's Play, even though they've stated that they want at least Child's Play to be completely unassociated with the webcomic. I'm sad to see that SMBC and Dinosaur Comics aren't on the list, though.

I'd say the fact that this machine, which worked twenty times longer than it was supposed to, was abandoned on another planet, makes it such a good example of the old idea to which you refer, that it is quite worth saying.

Uh, except it's not Randall's idea. It's just Randall telling us about a news event, with some ham-fisted personification. "LOOK THERE'S THIS NASA ROBOT THAT'S BEEN ON MARS A REAL LONG TIME I BET IT'S SAD WOW" is, um, yeah, not really an idea. The actual story is a bit dramatic, perhaps, but not the comic. Randall's ability to identify a dramatic story doesn't mean that he can craft a dramatic update.

I'm gonna keep saying "WALL-E" over and over again until everyone agrees with me. Ooh, how can I even compare Randall to Pixar, so unfair, bah nuts.

The idea of an anthropomorphic robot being abandoned for eternity despite it trying so hard to please its makers really tickled my funny bone.

See this is what I mean.

Oh! Also: The Oversoul, from Orson Scott Card's Homecoming series. Which actually is sapient, and aware of its own malfunctioning, and trying to repair itself but unable to because "repairing itself over the course of forty million years" was never part of its operational parameters.

The latest strip is pretty much the definition of "Wangst": an empty, pointless story, done entirely with the sole goal of provoking cheap, effortless sadness -- except the art is quite good and demanded effort. But put this in text format, post it in Fanfiction.net, and it would blend in nicely with all the dreck and garbage from that place.

The story of Spirit, I believe, is already quite interesting and poignant WITHOUT the shitty melodramatic "personification". It's a powerful story on its own, and Randall only did that personification because he knows well it's a VERY cheap and easy trick and gives quick results.

Today's comic is just emotionally manipulative bullshit. Awww, poor robot, toiling thanklessly on a remote planet, only wanting to please his masters so he can one day come home.

EXCEPT ROBOTS DON'T WORK THAT WAY lkdsrjoi435kjskdn;l'aWTUY@

Seriously, I don't get how it's poignant or heartwarming to project emotions onto a completely emotionless object.

A dog wandering trying to find his lost master is sad, because animals do have some semblance of grief/loneliness. Hell, something like WALL-E is touching, because that robot was obviously made to experiencing emotions. But Randall trying to make people feel for the fucking Spirit rover because it's forever wandering Mars is like someone saying you should pity your toilet because people are constantly defecating in it. THEY DON'T HAVE FEELINGS. WHO CARES?

Are we sure Randall wasn't trying to go for this -The idea of an anthropomorphic robot being abandoned for eternity despite it trying so hard to please its makers really tickled my funny bone - and in the process made some of his more emotional fans cry?

This time I'll be a surprised voice of dissent and say, you know what? I'm ok with this! (Grin face)

I saw this first on some other feed, and for a second even thought "woah this is kinda like xkcd, only better! what webcomic is this?". I mean, it's color, kind of makes sense, isn't patronising me, and it's mildly amusing. I mean, obviously it's not sad or anything (this is very different from Wall-E in terms of emotional effect I think), but pretend-pitying the robot I am, on Randall's suggestion, obviously and consciously anthropomorphising, is kind of funny. Like yelling at my computer for crashing, or bargaining with a spectrometer to please please please get a good reading.

Wait, I just read the alt text. It's patronising as hell. I'm not an idiot Randall, I follow the news. Even if I hadn't, I sure can figure it out without your oh-so-helpful reminder.

Oh, and, never mind making sense. The robot has a comm link to Houston, why is it only thinking? We should get to see it talking to NASA about how it's hoping to go back, and the NASA guys going "uh-huh, sure, now just get those samples for us ok?" and finally not answer at all.

By the way, haha that Todd Margaret thing is funny, Carl. Thanks! And what's wrong with Onion, Rob?

Dude, that shouldn't matter! Who cares if Randall's a desperately unoriginal hack, how can you expect anyone to write new material ALL THE TIME, all that matters is that he be decent once in a while. Who cares that this is just a verbatim retelling of the Spirit rover with really, really hamfisted personification?

And about the personification, seriously, I know Pixar spent an hour of the film developing WALL-E, and Randall spent like eight panels, but it's a fucking ridiculous case of Tell Don't Show. It should only work on incredibly weepy audiences who will feel bad as long as the work telegraphs "SOMETHING SAD IS HAPPENING" strongly and repeatedly.

Also if anyone says that this has "good art" I will punch him in the tits. Drawing a recognizable shape instead of floating heads and using the paintbucket tool doesn't qualify as "good art". It's still shitty. Honestly, it's not even impressive if you go through and read a bunch of stick figure XKCD comics and then see the Spirit one--it just isn't particularly good. Yes, it's marginally less shitty than Randall's other art. Not even rambling on about how art is subjective, dude, don't you see, will make the case that this is anything other than shitty art that's slightly less shitty than Randall's typical garbage.

C'mon. Of all the criticisms you guys could make of this, you're going with "Robots don't work this way?" Especially Nate, this comments section reminds me of why I can't find either XKCD fanboys and anti-fanboys appealing. Both are subject to baffling levels of NERD RAGE/Fanboying, and this site seems to output extra levels of smug superiority at times like this.

Phoenix Lander Personification: http://twitter.com/MarsPhoenix

Don't criticize on the grounds that it's been done before, or that 'It doesn't work like that,' or, god forbid, a typo. Criticize it on being remarkably cheesy or some of the usual pacing issues you guys whine about. I personally dislike overt attempts at heartstring pulling, though this wasn't too bad.

Posting as Anon because I don't feel like being dragged into whatever silly argument might come.

"Don't criticize on the grounds that it's been done before, or that 'It doesn't work like that,' or, god forbid, a typo."

Now I don't really care enough to argue the first two things, but come on, why can't we criticize a typo? Sure, it doesn't completely ruin the comic, but it's something objectively bad that needs to be fixed. It's something that, if Carl was an editor, he would be obligated to point out.

Some people are saying "robots don't work this way" and I think that is a stupid criticism. Many things don't work like they're supposed to in comics/stories/whatever.

But still all he is doing is taking a very old idea and referencing a current event. He doesn't even try to give it a unique twist. Just a "oh man what if robots got lonely? WELL THIS ROBOT IS... IN SPAAAAACE! AND ITS LONELY. THE END."

Fred: Retrovirus is an actual term for an RNA virus that must convert its RNA to DNA to infect host cells. "Retro" is also a slang word for something old-fashioned or out of date. So an old virus like the one in the comic is also a retrovirus.

"or, god forbid, a typo"Randall had at least two days to draw/write that comic. Surely he would have noticed this blatent error while writing/rewriting the script or actually drawing the comic, or in the proofreading he certainly did. I mean, it's not like he wrote the comic as he was drawing it? Right. Only a hack would do that.

Options:Randall didn't notice: LazyRandall noticed but didn't care: Even lazier. And shows he disrespects his fanbase.

I like how Wall-E was presented as a counterexample to my "robots don't work that way" statement, even though I specifically said shit like Wall-E was an exception since he's an AI robot MEANT to have feelings. Do you just skip over every sentence or something?

The Mars rover doesn't have fucking feelings. Your toaster doesn't have fucking feelings. Shit like Short Circuit and The Brave Little Toaster work because those are fantasy worlds where "inanimate objects with feelings" exist. The Spirit rover DOES exist. And it doesn't have fucking feelings.

My problem with this comic is it's supposed to be touching, but Spirit doesn't have feelings, so why should I feel pity for it? Sorry, but I reserve feeling bad for things that actually fucking matter.

Fuck all of you, I liked the latest one. I couldn't put my finger on why, then I realized because it reminded me of one of the themes in Elfen Lied that got to me (done to death in the webcomic Nana's Everyday Life, somewhat based off of Elfen Lied). Oh yeah, never watch Elfen Lied or read Nana's Everyday Life, they darken your soul somewhat.

That robot is so emo! Were I it, I would think, "I must really rock for I'm still useful six freakin' years after my expected operational life!". As it has been said already, this is just manipulative bullshit.

Capn - Elfen Lied has a bittersweet ending. Yeah, it's somewhat sad, but there is a kernel of joy that emerges from amidst that sadness. Nana's everyday life is the same thing, but taken to the extreme in an absurdly dark way. It's more complex than you standard "happy/sad" dischotomy, and that makes me appreciate it more.

But back to xkcd:

The reason Wall-E was better than this comic is because Wall-E didn't give a huge fucking monologue - his sadness was palpable even though he could only speak his name, because the IMAGES Pixar presented were so powerful that they didn't need lots of dialog to convey it. Randall relies on dialog because his art is absolute shit and can't convey the same message that Wall-E managed to. Instead, he relies on text, but his writing skills are so poor that it kills any sort of impact those words might have had. It fails on both a visual AND a textual level, and for that reason it is a terrible comic.

"It's more complex than you standard "happy/sad" dischotomy, and that makes me appreciate it more."-agreed, though it will still darken your soul

"Randall relies on dialog because his art is absolute shit and can't convey the same message that Wall-E managed to."-agreed

"Instead, he relies on text, but his writing skills are so poor that it kills any sort of impact those words might have had."-would agree with most of the time, including some of this time (because he can't be bothered to fucking proofread)

I can see why people didn't like this comic, but I'm quick to forgive it, mainly because 2003 was a great year for me, and I'm predisposed to like anything that reminds me of that brilliant time of my life. Yeah, I downloaded from KaZaA, and I had an account on Friendster too. Ahh, to be seven years younger again...

Also, I'm thrilled to see PBF with 36% of the votes in that poll - that comic ruled.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

Frequently Asked Questions

Divided into two convenient categories, based on whether you think this website

Rob's Rants

When he's not flipping a shit over prescriptivist and descriptivist uses of language, xkcdsucks' very own Rob likes writing long blocks of text about specific subjects. Here are some of his excellent refutations of common responses to this site. Think of them as a sort of in-depth FAQ, for people inclined to disagree with this site.