Objective views on the subjective experience

OKAY, whew, I just got done reading Krak's post. I'm sorry about how things have supposedly going for Krak, and I want things to get better for him, but I don't really know how to help. On the other hand, reading about his problems got me to thinking. I mean, a lot of the time I feel the exact same way as Krak, although things have been getting much better and I'm starting to succeed again in my life.

On the front page of the newspaper today was the first love of my life. The article talked about how she overcame diversity and got accepted to Harvard even though she grew up with no running water and was home schooled until seventh grade. I felt so bad because she has made so much out of her life, and I felt like I have been wasting my life away. I began feeling like I should just end it, because I would never be able to make anything out of myself. I felt like that for most of the day. I literally spent almost the entire day wondering if I shoudl just get my father's hunting rifle and end it all.

But then I started to think rationally and objectively. There are some truths to my feelings, it is true that I have crashed and burned in my junior year of high school. But then I also realized that just because I'm not a harvard level student doesn't mean I'm a complete loser. I would have strongly PREFERRED to have done much better thus far in my life (I've quit or dropped out of MANY thigns including ice hockey, all of the accelerated classes in school, guitar, piano, cello, the list goes on), and I honestly think that if I had applied myself I could've shined. Having opportunity and throwing it away is probably one of the worst feelings possible.

In the end, all this post was about was to just say that we are all just highly organized forms of energy thrown into an otherwise chaotic universe. Each and every one of us MUST make the choices that guide our lives until we become disassociated and are humans no longer. Krak needs to realize he isn't a completely bad person for $$$$ing up in school and not having girlfriends, and that his tough times can pass IF he chooses to put up a fight. I chose to think rationally and objectively about my situation and I decided that although I've wasted a lot I'm not going to sit back and feel sorry for myself. I'm basically going to turn around one last time, give the past the middle finger, and continue with my life. Krak buddy I hope you do the same.

I don't know if any of you guys care, agree, or will comment on this subject, but I think I've said a lot. and I think what I've said is important, although my grammar sucks.