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Give the episodes more descriptive/literal titles

I was over at the PEEL (Planet Express Employee Lounge) forums and noticed an amusing post from a new guy saying he wishes the episodes didn't have such weird titles (Clearly not understanding the concept of creativity, puns or pop-culture references). Another member called "Pvip" suggested making a game out of it (E.G. "Loves labours lost in space" = "The Day Zapp Brannigan had sex") So I figured we could try it out ourselves.....Ready? GO!

Space Pilot 3000 - On December 31, 1999, a pizza delivery boy named Philip J. Fry delivers a pizza to "Applied Cryogenics" in New York City. At midnight, Fry falls into an open cryonic tube and is frozen. He is defrosted on Tuesday, December 31, 2999, in what is now New New York City. He is taken to a fate assignment officer named Leela, a purple-haired cyclops. To his dismay, Fry is assigned the computer-determined permanent career of delivery boy, and flees into the city when Leela tries to implant Fry's career chip designating his job.
While trying to track down his only living relative, Professor Farnsworth, Fry befriends a suicidal robot named Bender. As they talk at a bar, Fry learns that Bender too has deserted his job of bending girders for suicide booths. Together, they evade Leela and hide in the Head Museum, where they encounter the preserved heads of historical figures. Fry and Bender eventually find themselves underground in the ruins of Old New York.
Leela finally catches Fry, who has become depressed that everyone that he knew and loved is dead and tells her that he will accept his career as a delivery boy. Leela sympathizes with Fry—she too is alone, and hates her job—so she quits and joins Fry and Bender as job deserters. The three track down Professor Farnsworth, founder of an intergalactic delivery company called Planet Express. With the help of Professor Farnsworth, the three evade the police by launching the Planet Express Ship at the stroke of midnight amid the New Year's fireworks. As the year 3000 begins, Farnsworth hires the three as the crew of his ship. Fry cheers at his acquisition of a new job: delivery boy.