This is especially true during winter in cold cities. When energy bills are at their peak, assholes have a yen to take really long and really hot showers, but only when other people are paying for the heat.

When they’re good and ready, assholes will open the bathroom door and leave their comfy cloud of condensation. Their pores are dilated, their cheeks red.

Outside it’s 15 degrees Fahrenheit, a whole lot less with the wind chill.

Because you care, you ask how their shower was. Assholes will suck on their tongue and say, “Pretty decent.”

Then they’ll ask you to change the channel in a few minutes. Married With Children is about to start.