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I
RIGHT CARE OF TEETH
'MOST HIGHLY DESIRABLE POINT
OF BEAUTY.
'increasing Dally Attention and Coned-
entlous Visits to the Dentist Are-
Imperatlve If Good Looks Are
to Be Preserved.
A good, firm whlto set of teoth la
moro to bo desired than a raro string
of pearls. Unfortunately all cannot
poEsess good teeth, but tho few wom
en who have a perfectly good whlto
net of teeth should guard them as they
would tho finest Jowels. On good au
thority, it may bo Btatcd that a bad
stomach causos bad teeth, and If tho
ntomach Is not kept in good condition,
no matter how Btrong tho teeth may
be, they cannot last.
Germa develop and Hvo almost
cvorywhero. When thero la one bad
x tooth In tho mouth, thero Is certain to
bo germs. Ono bad tooth not taken
care of In time may lead to many vis
its to tho dentist and possibly tho loss
' of ono or moro teeth.
Somo years Sack tho dentist would
be visited onco a year, later on twlco
a year was considered sufficient, but
now four tlmoj or every three months
TiTueenied nono too' often to lmyo tho
dentist look your Jeeth over, Thare
may bo a tfny cavity, so Bmall, In fact,
that It la revealed only when tho
dentist looks through his magnifying
glaBS. nut that cavity attended to In
tlmo will Involve small coBt, little
pain, and result In tho preservation of
the tooth. Sometimes tho dentist's
examination may fall to roveal a small
cavity way down near a root and If
you yourself do not find It soon It will
mean a good-sized filling when you
next visit tho dentist. Therefore, If
longer than three months Is allowed
to elapso between tho visits to tho
iflentlst It Is easy to estimate the dam
ago that may result to your teeth.
Much has been written and said con
cerning the care of tho teeth, and In
many instances the statements are ex
treme. One of them that tho condi
tion of tho teeth depends wholly on
the caro given them Is arbitrary and
untrue. As a matter of cleanliness and
a meana of aiding tho. preservation
and enhancing the beauty of tho teeth,
unceasing dally attontlon should bo
bestowed upon them, but even under
theso ministrations teeth will decay,
lose their color and becomo useless,
and it is not unuBual to see rows of
strong, whltepBound-looklng teeth that
have never known brush or dentifrice.
Unsound teeth nro duo to constitu
tional defects, unless tho teeth have
been abused by being made to servo as
nut-crackers or having some equally
abnormal task forced upon them.
Their color, too, If dark, may result
from the use of Iron, as a medicine,
or from an acid condition of tho stom
ach, and all brushing, cleaning and
polishing that may be given them will
not restore them to their original
whiteness.
Thero are also teeth which nro of a
waxon-whlto or yellow Ivory tint. Tho
former have pearly, transparent edges,
indicating a delicate constitution and
like it are frail and doomed, soon to
decay. The latter are strong and
generally belong to a person of vigor
ous constitution, but no amount of
brushing or scouring will over bleach
Them to whiteness that Is not natural
to thjpjn,
rIt Is claimed by some that sweets
nre Injurious to tho teeth. Puro cane
Bugar candy or maplo sugar will not
corrode tho teoth, even If one partake
plenteously of these sweets. Tho teeth
need wprk and exerclso, and, If proper
ly used and not abused, whatever is
good for the stomach and can bo prop
erly digested will not harm the teeth,
The real harm is done when crumbs
nro left in tho teeth, especially over
night. Then acid accumulate?, and
Bjpwly eats tho enamel, &hd onco
Tlils occurs thoro wilj soon bo a
"cavity
Never uso a toothpick of any kind.
For removing Iho crumbs between tho
teoth dental floss Is better. It should
bo drawn between tho teeth after eat
ing and always before retiring at
night. It Is not necosary to use pow
der every day, but It Ib necessary to
brush tho teeth morning and night
with tepid wator to which a pinch or
two of borax hau been added. This
BweelenB tho breath and keeps tho
tooth clean. Two or three times a
week brush them with powtier, and
onco a month, glvo them & general
cleaning with pulverized pumice, rins
ing tho teeth thoroughly afterward.
A cleansing and refreshing tooth
powder may bo mado with the fol
lowing ingredients:
Equal parts of precipitated chalk,
powdered orrlB root, borax and pow
dered castilo soap. Weigh theso in
gredients, nnd, If a half pound or
moro, flvo cents worth of oil of winter
green may be added. Then Blft all
through Beveral times. When not us
ing, keep closely covered.
ir tho practice of rinsing tho teeth
and month after eating were moro
generally observed, tlio teoth would
last longer and dentists bills would bo
fewer. Pour n pint of boiling water
over a tablespoonful of blcarbonato of
uoda. When coo1 Is may bo used to
rlnBo tho teeth, as this destroys tho
acumulatlon tff acid. Larger propor
tions may bo mixed and kept handy
for use. It takes but a moment to
rinse tho teeth, and this precaution
helps in a. large measure to preaervo
them.
New Scarfs Attractive. -Some
of tho new scarfs are quite
attractive One model la in all black
silk with longtsh black taaBelB, Oth
ers are black, with a gay lining of
plaid' or striped silk.
i
fttcncttp
A Budget of Queries.
Would like to know In tho next Is
sue, If possible, If it is propor to ac
knowledge an invitation (It ono in
tends going) to a luncheon, whun
Invitation Is on ordinary calling card.
Also when Invitation Is formal. Ib it
proper to call after a reception or
luncheon and should ono leave cards?
Is it proper to acknowledge aft Invita
tion to an "at home," and If bo, how
should It be worded? Also, la It pro
per at a homo wedding to take placo
at six o'clock for a brldo to wear a
dress with a train without a long vell?;
Jeanne.
E.very invitation where the hostess
provides a luncheon, dinner or sup
per should bo acknowledged at once,
or elso how Is sho to know for how
many to prepare? My theory Is that
every invitation should bo accepted
or regretted just aB Boon as possible.
In tho Btrict sense of tho word and
according to the old-fashioned rules
of etiquette, calls should bo mado af
ter accepting hospitality, but In this
busy generation and on account of
tho great distances In cities ono over
looks tho fact that guests do not pay
party calls, for it is almost Impossible.
A brldo may decide for herself exact
ly tho costumo sho wishes to bqjnar
rled In, and a short gown minus veil
and train Is proper If It best suits her
plans, her purso and her convenience.
Concerning a Shower.
Am giving a shower for a-glrl friend
of mlno and would llko if you would
glvo mo a few suggestions. Do not
wish to play cards, but would like to
do other things. I thought for one
thing I might have each guest hem a
towel, and to tho ono doing It tho
neatest and quickest give a llttlo
prlzo of some kind. Would that bo
suitable?
Tho colors nro to bo yellow nnd
white. How could I best carry them
out? What would be nlco for tho
luncheon? Anna.
For your decorations all you will
need Is yellow and white chrysanthe
mums and carry out tho scheme a bit
In your menu by having a cream of
celery soup with tho grated yolk of
hard-boiled eggs sprinkled over a
spoonful of whipped cream; Bervo In
bouillon cups; fried chicken breasts,
sweet potato croquetteB, corn fritters,
pineapple salad, cheese crackers and
New York Ico cream with sunshine
and angel food cako. The towel Idea
Is a good one, and you could glvo tho
towel for tho prize.
Concerning a Wedding.
I am to have a morning wedding
with about thirty guests; may I ask
several questions, and will you please
help mo plan for it? Are invitations
sent where only tho relatives In tho
same town aro Invited? Do tho brldo
and groom stand facing tho guests?
Is the double ring ceremony becoming
moro popular? W. J.
IntlSfcil, you iila'y" usk just all tho
Questions you wish. I am right horo
to answer them to tho best of my
ability. For a simple homo-wjbddlng
you need not Bend engraved invita
tions, but Just llttlo notes or ask tho
relatives nnd guests yourself to wit
ness tho ceremony. Tho double ring
ceremony Ib qulto" popular, but It and
tho question of whether you stand fac
ing tho guests or with your back to
them is Just for you to decide and tho
clergyman who is to officiate usually
has some preference to express which
ho will do at rehearsal.
Questions ot Precedence.
When does a gentleman precedo a
lady while escorting her? Green.
It is thonian's placo to proceed
ahead of tho lady ho Is with When
going through a crowd, In going
through a door, in getting off 6t a
street car or railway train, in 'going
upstairs and down an aisle.
Country Girl's Answer,
It Is perfectly proper to ask a young
man to call again If you really would
like him to do bo. Thoro probably
would bo no harm in going motoring
alono, but I do not thing It wise.
Klghtcon-year-old girls can not bo too
careful of what they do, and how, and
when, and with whom. It may Boem
a bit prudish but I assuro you I do
not mean It so.
Reply to "Anxious."
I do not think girls your ago noed
make a "curtsey." It is very pretty
for tho "younger girls nnd Is taught
in dancing school. I think your hair
down your back for a couplo of years
yet, Ib best.
'Maggie Jane's Answer.
It Is too lato to reply to your firot
questions but tho department had bo
much about tho subject, that I trust
you had your wants supplied. I think
tho namo suggested for your gleo club
a very good ono.
MADAME MERIIL
c j
IT WAS JPAPA'S IDEA
And It Went Awry as Papa's
Ideas Usually Do in Love
Affairs.
By DONALD ALLEN.
Tho papa was Mr. John Forbush,
who possessed n character for gen
eral probity and a wife nnd daughter,
the latter being named Jonnlo. Sho
was twenty years old tho day her
father began to Bchomo.
Thoso who had known Mr. Forbush
for a slnglo year and thoro were
mnny who had know him for a dozen
or more would havo laughed at tho
Idea of IiIb scheming. Ho had money
lent out, nnd tho Intorest on it, to
gether with tho dollarB ho mado as a
notnry nnd other ways, kept tho llttlo
family going In nlco shape. Thoro was
no usury In lending tho money, and If
tho borrower couldn't return It on tho
date recorded ho was granted moro
time.
. Mr. Forbush paid his debts If- ho
made any, had "a pow In church, nnd
novcr 'wrangled with his neighbors
nbout religion or politics. Ho went
around very quietly, smiling at all and
thoro wasn t a baby n tho town with
less guile than ho, Judging by his face.
Iu hlB homo llfo ho was a loving father
and a fond husband. Ono might as
woll look for thunder without clouds
as for such a man to scheme, and
against" hla own family at that.
As Miss Jonnlo ForbuBh was by far
the handsomeBt girl In tho. town she
hud plenty of admirers. Sho wasn't a
girl to bo won by monqy, but as sho
would get llttlo or nothing from Iter
father It was only natural that sho
should do a bit of thinking now nnd
then. Scarco ono of tho young men
about her could have shown a hundred
dollars laid by. It'o nice to bo In love,
and it's nicer to bo married, but tho
landlords expect their rent, nnd gro
cers and butchers must bo paid.
Mr. Forbush could not help but
know that his daughter was Bought
for, but ho was only mildly Interested.
Onco in. awhile ho and his wife talked
tho matter over a bit and went as far
aB to hope that Miss Jennie would
mako a good match, but they said very
llttlo to her on the subject. They did
not know when or how young Gilbert
Dale came Into tho field, nnd tho
daughter did not enlighten them.
Gilbert Dale's father Was a re
spected citizen of a town ten miles
away. Tho son wasn't respected so
much. He was twenty-three years old,
and staid old mombors of tho com
munity In which ho lived held up
tholr hands in horror when ho camo
racing by In Ills auto, or they heard
that ho had participated in anothor
wlno supper. Nothing at all vicious
about him, but Just going the paco
'till something should happen to bring
him up short. An old hen and a
young man must turn around a few
times before they can settle down.
In duo tlrno young Dale got a part
of what was coming to him. Ho was
racing his auto along a country road
all alone, and noting aB his own
chauffeur, when tho machine suddenly
Bwerved and he was thrown out to roll
down the bank and Into a river whero
tlto chances of a stunned man for be
ing drowned were nine out ot ten.
Miss Jennie Forbush was" no heroine.
Sho had never even scratched tho kero
Bono can from tho hands of her moth
er ns tho latter was about to hurry
up the fire. If she had ever even read
of heroines she had not Bighed 10 bo
one. Yet, when the critical moment
camo she went at it as If she h.nd
played the part many seasons. Sho
! was on her way to visit a girl friend
living a couple of miles outside the
town, and she was on tho Bpot when
tho accident occurred. Down tho
bank sho went after tho young man,
and at some peril p herself dragged
him BBhore boforo It was too late.
Miss Forbush had saved Mr. Dalo'B
life. Why shouldn't sho fall In love
with him? Mr. Dale wob grateful and
full of admiration. Why shouldn't hu
say as In tho play: "My llfe'belonga
to thee?"
At any rate thoy met again, and
again, and It wns a cause for wonder
how the young man settled down and
mended his ways. Even hia mother
Enid that tho cliango was something
beyond her to flguro out.
And now came the scheming. Mr.
Jason Brush was a widower of th vil
lage. Ho had been for fifteen jwirs,
when ho had a dream one night that
ho ought to got married again Tho
dream made a great impression, and
ho went to his minister with It Tho
good man hearc! tho particulars and
replied:
"I can't say that I am a bollewr In
dreams. I have dreamed that tin- con
gregation ralBed my salary and .mid
it cash down as fast an due, but noth
lng of the kind followed."
TJut tho voice was so plain," bighed
the caller.
"Did It tell you to marry the widow
Splcer?"
"No sir. Why parson sho Ib older
than I be!"
"Wns any name mentioned?"
"I can't remember."
"Just told you that you ought to
get a Bccond wife?"
"Thnt'H all. Do you think It was
my dead wifo talking to mc from
heaven?"
"Hardly!" waB the dry reply "Bet
ter wait and see if you don't dream
tho same dream again and get a name
or two to guldo you."
Mr. nruBh went away with that un
derstanding, and fate was very kind
to him. He was back next forenoon
to say:
"Well, I had the same dream over
again last night, and tho voice named
the party I was to marry."
"That's remarkable, replied tho di
vine. "So 'tis. I'm Buro it was my wlfo'a
voice"
"It must hnvo startled you?"
"Oh, I dunno. I was rather look
ing for It. It told mo to marry John
ForbiiBh'H daughter Jonnlo."
"Ah, I soo. A young lady of nbout
twenty?"
"I can be a father to her at tho samo
tlmo."
Tho parson had nothing to say for or
against It, and Mr. Urush went away
to mnko hla beginning with Mr. For
bush. Ho had scarcely spoken ton
words when a grent Bchemo flashed
through tho brain of tho man who had
never schemed boforo. Mr. Forbush
was wealthy. Ho could back a father-in-law
In business. Ho had political
lulluenco, nnd could help a father-in-law
to a scat In tho legislature. Ho
was getting old nnd liable to drop oft
any time, and tho wifo would got nil
he loft. Great thing! Dig thing!
"While I am something over forty,
I am no antcdlluvlnn," observed Mr.
Brush.
"Far from It."
"I am still fond of plnlcs and danc
ing' "Of course."
"And ready to run down to Boston
for ntwook any tlmo."
"Jonnlo would bo delighted."
"Sho could havo a colt-skin coat
when winter comos."
"I tnuan't Torgct to tell her that."
"I shan't bo Jealous of her. Sho can
go to prnyer-mcotlng nlono any tlmo
sho- wants to."
"I Bhall tell her ovcrythlng and re
port to you."
Miss Jennie received her father's
nows with laughter, nnd refused to bo
serious nbout It. When Mr. Hrush
called In person ho recolved tho samo
treatment. Ho was not Insulted nor
mado Indignant, but his vows nnd pro
testations were received as Humorous
romnrks.
Thero wero calls on tho parson, but
ho would not mix In. Thoro wero con
fabs with Mr. Forbush, but ho could
glvo the victim no suro hope. Thoro
woro frequent calls and pleadings, but
thoy gained nothing. Things stood in
UiIb way when Mr. Forbush ono day
took Mr. Urush off to a grovo half a
mllo from riny houso, nnd sat him
down nnd looked nil around for eaves
droppers, and then whispered:
"Tho tlmo has como."
"What! HaB sho consonted?"
"Wo must try herolo measures.
She must bo won In anothor way."
"Dut how?"
"I've got a scheme thnt'B suro to
work."
"Good!"
Then Mr. Forbush put his lips closo
to Mr. Ilrush'B ear and whlsporod
Boft wlilspors for a long minute, and
tho old man scrambled up to explain:
"Suro's you live! When can It
como off?"
"Jonnlo goes out thoro tomorrow
aftornoon."
"Then we'll put tho thing through,
Forbush, you aro a schomor nnd an
old fox In the bushes! I'll havo you
In tho legislature within two years."
At nbout two o'clock noxt aftornoon
Miss Jennie Forbush might havo boon
soen, nnd as a mattor of fact was
seen, walking along tho samo highway,
and bound to the same house aB be
fore. At a .certain rather lonely spot
nn auto containing her fathor, Mr.
Urush and n driver camo out ot a blind
road, Tho fathor and aged IOVGr
seized her and placed her In the
vehicle,.
No screaming! No struggling!
Thoy started off at a gait of 30 miles
an hour. No questions asked or an
swered. After dusting nlong for ten
miles they stopped at tho house of n
country prcachor, and Mr. nrush took
tho girl's arm and led her In, followed
by tho smiling father,
"It's a wedding," said Mr. Brush to
tho preacher.
"Hut isn't it very soon after tho fun
eral?" asked tho good man.
"Who's; funeral?"
'lvVhy I married her soveral weeks
ligo to a Gilbert Dale, and I think ho
has Just driven up to tho gato in his
auto!"
Pupa doesn't schemo any moro, but
Mr. Brash is still swearing with great
vigor for nn old man who Uvea to nt
tend plclnlcs.
(Copyright, 1912. by tho McCluro News
impcr Byndtcnte.)
Old Landmark to Go.
-Unlit In 1752, and handed down from
fathor to eon through four genera
tions, and now doomed for destruction,
Ib tho Old Absinthe house, ono of the
most unique luiulmarkn of tho south,
known to tourists from nil quarters ol
tho world who havo visited New Or
leans. Tho edict of tho .United States
government In abutting off tho Impor
tation of abslnthu sounds tho knoll ol
thlB quaint remnant of Uohomlun llfn
In tho Crescent City. It la situated in
tho darkest, dirtiest, noisiest section
of tho Lathi quartor, nnd dosplto Ha
nge remains in a good Btuto of preser
vation. Its beginning Is Bald to mnrk
the opening of tho firHt saloon in Now
Orleans'. In past yours It has housed
many notables from' tho old world,
and almost every celebrated man and
woman who' hns visited Now Orleans
has made at least a brief stop at this
secluded cafo to enjoy the sight of Its
Interesting habitues and to listen to
tho medley of foreign tongues, wag
ging cheerily under tho Influence of
absinthe frnppe nnd other kindred
drinks created from tho seductive
fluid. In Mnrdl Oras festivals tho biz
arre cafo becomos tho rendezvous for
the younger uet Intent on a frolic.
Both at Once.
"A candlo Is tho combination ot ex
tremes," "How BO?"
"It Ib at onco a light matter and a
cereous affair,
ra
HOW TO FUMIGATE HEN HOUSE
Building Should Be Closed Tightly
and All Fowls Excluded Be
Careful of poison Used.
Fumigation is n meana of reaching
forms nnd insect llfo In tho air of
:ho room and in tho cracks nnd cran
nies of tho wood work, says tho Gulti
rator. Tho houso or room should bo
tightly closed nnd all fowls excluded
luring fumigation. A simplo method
Is to burn tho sulphur candlos now
sold nt stores dealing In poultry sup
plies. Tho fumea of brlmstono may
also bo produced by burning in a
metallic basin (such ns an old Iron
kottlo) a number of raga provlojrly
soaked in melted sulphur. Sulphur
may bo mixed witi a llttlo alcohol or
koroscno oil nnd burned, or It may bo
sprinkled upon Hvo coalB placod in a
shnflng dish. Tho houso or room
should bo kopt closed for sovoral
hours and thon opened aB thoroughly
as posslblo to allow tho wind to drlvo
sut any remaining trnco of poisonous
gas. In fumigating by burning sub
stances bo careful not to act firo to
tho building. Kemomber alao that In
tnoBt cnBoa tho substanceB which nro
used aro poIsonouB to human llfo and
to fowls. CarolcssnosB In their uso or
In, leaving them nbout whero chick or
child can get at them may havo dlro
results.
USING A FIRELESS BROODER
Box Protected by Wool Carpet and
Heated by Small Jug of Warm Wa
ter Is Excellent.
A thoro nro many poultrymcn who
prefer to ralso chlckB in a flroless
brooder, wo glvo horo a plan sug
gested by W. D. Ncalo, which has boon
UBed successfully for two years, sayB
tho Iown Homcatead. Ho socurcd a
"box thrco feet long, sixteen inches
wldo nnd eight inches doop
from his grocer for fifteen cents.
An opening wnB mado In ono sldo ot
tho box four inches in width and
height to ndmlt tho chlckB. To fit
in this box, mako a frame of latho
two Inches less In "width and length
than tho box. Tho latha wero placed
Ffoti Dniwar)'
Flreless Brooder.
about thrco inches apart and nailed
securely to ciobb pleccB at cither end.
TIiIb framo fitted Inside tho box nnd
roated on nails, two nt each end,
driven through tho box at tho desired
height Theso nallB wero withdrawn
and driven higher in tho ends of the
box as tho chlckB grow bo that they
would havo moro room beneath the
frame. A piece of wool carpet was
thrown over tho top of tho framo and
pressed down beneath tlio lath so that
Covering of Brooder.
tho folds would Junt touch tho down
backs of tho chicks. On cold nights
nn extra ploco of carpot was thrown
over tho box or a small Jug of warm
water placed Inside. Tho bottom oi
tho box waB kept covered with Btraw
Never harbor mongrel stock.
Don't forget to whitewash tho in
terlor of your houses.
Expect dlBcaso and low vltalltj
when fowls aro Inbred year In and
year out.
Send to market all tho stock thai
you can Bparo, for tho prlcca of feed
nro still high.
Plump chlckena nro wanted it
market; remember that lousy chick
oiih will not fatten.
From October lGth to about Nov
ombor 20th tho boat prlccB for poultr
aro gonernlly obtained.
Now blood may bo added to tin
flock, by buying some cholco pullcti
of a reliable poultry keepor.
Lining neat Iioxcb with newapaporl
makes it easy to lift out litter, papoi
nnd all. Thon not a match to It.
Authorities claim that tho eggt
from a hen will bo fertile for ton
dnya after tho removal of tho mal
from tho flock.
Do not let your young birds roosl
with Iho old hcuB, ns they aro Uuble
to catch diseases which old hens arc
more HUbJcct to.
AH hens which havo complotcd theli
second laying season should bo dls
posed of ut once, to mako room foi
tho young stock.
Save tho small potatoes and Impcr
feet heads of cabbago and other waste
vegetables. Thoy will nil bo relished
by tho hens In tho winter.
Don't delay nny longer making ro
pairs to tho houses or fences, wintni
may bo hero before you nro ready
At tho samo time, clean up tho rum
and walks.
&"& Tl
sof.d roof .M
Jy wato-.tjaht P(i
Tvasf --31J: J--lj-- 1 -Ti L. "i n . I V-Y
- - " - -
"" ! -
flllk
i ' ti
iuummww pi i ii ilk
ill!!!!
ije
Omoo:
VCIIJQ'UR ENESTHTi
e- -7T-rexaa i , .,--t
0??p
CnmpnlRiM nln't what thoy uso' to be;
they's no onthutilazzntn',
Wo uso' to flsht fin dlsagrco aorost e
bloody chazzum; (
Wo uso' to orgunnlzo tho boya an' rnlso
a ting polo, too,
An' whonp 'or up for lota o' nolso that's-
whnl wo uso' to do.
I'll liotclmh any Kldo could win, nn' glvo
you cards an spades
If even now thoy would. bcKln with sotnot
old-tlmo pnrndca.
Well, my-Oh-mo! Them oil cloth oultn,
an' oil cloth enpa wo word,
An' boltn, nn' mllltnry IjooIb nn' torches'
thnt wo horol
Tin oil dripped down upon our clo'co,
tlio mnoko got In our oyea
Tho othor party won our foes, nn whnfc
they said was Ilea.
You hot thoy kept In oft tho ntreot when
wo wns oil pnrmlo,
An' by our patriotic foot a lot o' votes
was mndo.
I ohet my oyes nn' neo us now. wo'd
march to tho hut-tol!
Tho spenlcor would como out nn bow an
we'd let out n yell.
"Tho bona nn" nlnycw of our land!'.' ho'd
tell us that wo was,
An' then lift up his stately hnnd to quiet
our npplnuso.
We'd march on to tho platform wherr
ho wiih to spcnlc that nlKht
Our torches with their smoky flaro wa
pleaslu' to tho night.
Hut now thero nln't no linen nt nil, thoro
nln't no bloody chnzxum;
Thero's been a heap o' talk this fall, tut
no otthUBlnz3Eum,
They'd ouRht to (rot tho torchos out nn
ninrch n round o' nights,
An 'foro wo knowed what' wo'fl about
havo half a dozen flRhts,
Glmmo tho old tlmo oil cloth aults, with
honses for tho nlds.
An' let ii b march in shiny boots In thorn
old-tlmo parades I
The Lay Out. !
"Aw," broko in tho now reporter,
who was rapidly being educated out
of tho idea that ho waaa Journalist,
"somo of theso pooplo glvo mo a
pain. That assistant city editor told
mo to go up to tho undertakers con
vention, and aald that If I got thoro
about noon I'd Btrlko a good lay ou,t.
So I didn't get any lunch, but hustlotl
up to tho hall, and say, tho lay out
was all right."
"What did thoy have?" aBkod tho
socloty reporter, visions of glacoa and
pates floating boforo her eyes.
"Why, thoy had a big head under
taker on tho ntngo Illustrating how to
lay out a corpso, tbat'o tho kind of
a lay out thoy had."
Convenient Excuce.
"Dut," wo Bay to tho man who has
been beaten up in a street fight, "suro
ly you aro not going homo without
having your injuries attended to.
What will your wifo Bay?"
"Sho won't Bay anything," ho de
clares. "You boo, I belong to ton
lodges, and sho will Just think I'vo
been taking another degreo in somo of
them."
Misjudged Him.
"And," muttered tho BubUrtornffuJ
"tho agont who rented mo thnt prop
erty told mo tho houso was only ton
mlnutos from tho atntlon."
Horo ho resumes his sprint for the
train, gasping:
"I wonder If ho thought I waB a
Hash of lightning."
Mundane Comparison.
"Tho Milky Wny," nnnouncca tho In
dividual who la studying astronomy by
mall, "contains fifteen hundred bib
lions of Btnrs."
"Goo!" Interrupts tho person who in
famlllnr with things theatrical. "It
must bo something on tho same ordor
as Broadway."
A Smart Farmer.
"Farming's all right, if you know
how to form."
"No doubt."
"Now I ralso a big crop of apples,
which I soil to a local department
etoro."
"Indeed?"
"Tho department etoro hao special
sales all winter, and mo and my mon
got good salaries acting as. a. harvest
quartet."
Kffi
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