Tonight's podcast is a non-sex short story about zombies - and me. Author of the (awesome) new zombie novel The Panama Laugh wrote a short story based on his novel's universe where a young female street punk in San Francisco goes up against a pack of zombie frat boys. The author Thomas Roche based the story on my very real life as a homeless teen here in SF. If you like action, horror and zombies (and you like me), you'll love it. If you don't like those things, tune in for the next podcast which I promise will be delightfully naughty and fun.

Get Total Flirt app for iPhone now in the Apple iTunes store for $0.99 - watch this saucy, short video trailer I made and see why I'm so excited about my first app! It’s like having a concise, interactive version of Total Flirt (the book - http://amzn.to/kzunif ) in your pocket or purse.
The Total Flirt app is an in-the-moment flirting guide. Use Total Flirt to choose your own adventure, and flirt – with success. With Total Flirt as your pocket wingmate, instantly dial up tricks and tips for every situation you’ll encounter when out on the prowl.
Secrets of pick up artists are shared in the app that tells you exactly what to do and when to do it. Start with an environment test to rate your chances of success before you make a move. Total Flirt tells you the best way to position yourself, how to proceed when your flirt-target is alone or in a group, and instructions for on-the-spot seduction with or without words. Instantly call up exact phrases and openers to make a connection with anyone you set your sights on.
This app guides you through the whole encounter: consult Total Flirt for instructions on when and how to size them up – find out if they’re worth it. Fall back on an all-purpose problem solver for everything from whether they’re into you, dealing with competition, or what to do if you think you’re being played. Total Flirt seamlessly gets you to the conclusion you desire, whether you want to see them tonight, or tomorrow – or if you need to choose an exit strategy.
Based on my book Total Flirt, it’s formulated from years of research, studies, and infiltration of male and female pick-up artist societies.
http://itunes.apple.com/app/total-flirt/id416309644
[...]

Learn how to flirt with geeks in this episiode, based on six years of research on flirting and pick-ip arts, plus get opening lines that don't suck and tips for turning fliritng into dating. Find more at thetotalflirt.com/SXSEXY.

This episode is the audio version of SXSW 2011 Interactive geek flirting tips written especially for the event (known as Spring Break for Geeks).

At thetotalflirt.com there are also three explict sexy geek erotica stories in different delightful flavors. To find more of the free materials I put together for Sexy Geeks, visit thetotalflirt.com/sxsexy. This URL is entirely mobile friendly, including the safer sex charts.

At thetotalflirt.com/SXSEXY you'll find the text version of this podcast, sex emergency resources for SXSW attendees of all genders and orientations, and explicit geeky erotica. Oh and the ingredients for a geek sexual survival kit. Oh, and a special discount code just for sexy geeks at Babeland.com - find my nerdy sex gear picks at babeland.com/violetblue.

This is an episode of sex answers. Tonight's topics include a woman who wants her boyfriend to be more dominant, a lady who is worried about vaginal looseness, a man who has wet dreams as an adult, and a girl whose boyfriend had sex outside the relationship - she wants to know what STDs or STIs she's at risk for. These anonymous questions come from my professional sex ed work; I thought it was time to share.

Delightful, de-lovely, and a little bit devious: my new book Total Flirt is now on sale. Find out more including the Apple and Android app at thetotalflirt.com. In this saucy video trailer, I tell you all about how this book - six years in the making - is an authentic, practical and slightly devious flirting manual for women. It is our answer to "The Game" and pick-up artist tricks, and based on research, studies and infiltrarion of pick-up artist's secret societies - it delivers.

ABOUT THE BOOK:

Total Flirt is packed with tricks and tips for every situation you’ll encounter when out on the prowl. Secrets of pick-up artists are explained and styled for the girl who wants more out of life.

* Two distinctive ways to flirt, and why you need to know the difference.* Total Flirt relies on the science of kinesics, the study of body language and its hidden messages: learn how to communicate magnetism and seduce your target – or get rid of someone – without words.* Take style quizzes to see what kind of flirt you are, and what kind you could be.* Master the art of “speed flirting” and how to tell if he’s worth it.* Get oodles of conversation starters – and exit strategies when you need to hit the “eject” button.* Find out how to tell if he’s really into you (or just a friend), and how to eliminate the competition.* Learn how to walk like a siren, talk like a bombshell, and seduce like a vamp — learn how to do it all online.* How to get guys you think are “out of your league.”

This is an episode of sex answers. Tonights topics include what to do with an uncut penis, what to do when you're a woman who wants your lover to change his oral sex techniques, women wanting pornogrpahy, and a question from a woman whose boyfriend wants her to be a domaintrix in the bedroom. These anonymous questions come from my professional sex ed work; I thought it was time to share.

Learn how to kiss: something different on Open Source Sex - a short and sweet video about my new book on kissing. Saucy, sexy, smart: Urban Outfitters calls my new book Seal it with a Kiss "The kissing bible." Find out why in this video, which includes kissing tips for virgins and kissing tricks to make your kisses unforgettable. Lots of tips and kissing how-to in this funny video trailer for the #1 book on kissing.

Lately, Apple CEO Steve Jobs has been very vocal about his brand and its relationship to pornography, but he's left us in the dark as to why he seems to be mentioning porn at every turn. In this podcast, we go back to a simpler time when Apple appeared to be more tolerant, and I read my San Francisco Chronicle article "How to Seduce a Mac Geek."

It's here! Lush, gorgeous, arousing: Best Women's Erotica 2010 (also: UK)! In this episode I give you a taste of each story in my handpicked, heart and soul collection of the best erotica by women, for women that the globe has to offer. It might be the most daring entry in the series yet.

In my book Erotic Role Play: A Guide for Couples (e-book or audiobook MP3),
you'll find all kinds of fun ideas, advice, sexy stories and plenty of
fantasy fodder to get you adding a little (or a lot) of spice to your
sex life. In chapter 1, you'll learn exactly how to ask for what you
want, even if you're nervous or aren't used to talking about new sexual
ideas. Besides getting you started and giving you lots of ideas, there
is a test called "Who, What, Where, How and When" that couples can
print out, check off their answers in a fun sex game for two, and then
swap answers to see just what your lover feels like doing. It's like a
sexual fantasy quiz, where everyone scores!

It wasn't supposed to be on shelves until December 11, but it’s shipping *now* (and I got my hands on a red-hot copy). Best Women’s Erotica 2009
is my newest anthology — explicit lit by women, written by astoundingly
talented women from all over the world. It’s so hot that when I
read the first story in the collection to my lover, I was instantly
jumped and deliciously molested. True story. I’ll do a podcast of
Valerie Alexander’s “Fly” later. For now, hear why I’m so freaking out
excited to see the fruits of a year spent editing this book made into
reality — I'm reading the intense introduction I wrote.

So, Bill O'Reilly wants to talk about the evils of San Francisco? He really has a hard-on for talking about what he sees as my filthy dirty sex-and-LGBT drenched city, and his fake documentary shows just what a fetish he's got. Yes, it's all about the sex -- our San Francisco Values. So Bill -- this one's for you. Next time, say it to my face. We have enough hate in the world right now. I'd be happy to "scare you straight."

Hope you all like it; it's my sermon. After this, more sexy podcasty goodness is on the way, dear listeners.

The most amazing sexual privacy online discussion you'll ever hear. This is the panel I organized and moderated at SXSW: Interactive 2008, including a cyberlawyer (Jason Schultz, EFF), a security expert / hacker (Jonathan Moore, 0x0000), an outed sex blogger (Zoe Margolis, Girl With A One Track Mind), and a Gawker editor (John D'Addario, Fleshbot.com). It's just over an hour long, and it's riveting! Thanks to SXSW for letting me share the file with you. Here's the description:

Can anyone really be sexually anonymous online? Being outed, thinking
you’re “anonymous", trolls and stalkers taking advantage of online
communities, porn laws resulting in performers being stalked, Google’s
history logs tracking all of us, and paying for adult goods and
services online safely: Internet sexual privacy affects everyone – and
our rights. This panel brings together a spectrum of views on sexual
privacy and identity, including controversial sex bloggers, a cyberlaw
expert and a hacker who works for a social networking site. We’ll
discuss and demonstrate how easy it is to lose control of your sexual
identity online – and how to get it back, or keep it intact in the
first place. You don’t have to be a sex blogger, answer the wrong
Craigslist ad, or order a vibrator online to have your sexual identity
messed with – sometimes all you need to be is female, LGBT, or just
make a simple mistake when you hit “send". The consequences can be
devastating. We will explore what obstacles face maintaining personal
privacy, including bad or unsympathetic online community management,
system and social exploits (like Craigslist baiting and outing),
stalkers and trolls, the legal aspects of sexual privacy online and
their application for individuals, and what you can do to keep your
sexual privacy, private.

In this long-awaited Open Source Sex episode, learn how to plan an
erotic encounter with roles (slight roles or elaborate ones), how to
time sexual surprises so they come out perfect, how to add a delicious
climax to your sexual encounter, the perfect locations for certain
types of erotic scenarios, and how to have a public sex scene -- and
make it safe and unforgettable. I just released the audiobook Erotic Role Play: A Guide For Couples, and I'm so excited I wanted to give a chapter away! This is chapter 5, and I hope you like it. I'm also giving away the erotic role play quiz for couples -- print it out, circle your answers and then share your sexy homework. When I did it with my sweetie, I got a few interesting surprises... :)For more info on my new DRM-free audiobook (10 MP3 chapters, over 2 hours of ideas, advice, and explicit erotica), read this:Erotic Role Play: A Guide for Couples
by Violet Blue is nine big chapters of tips, ideas and practical advice
on how to turn up the heat in your sexual repertoire. Erotic role-play
is when you and your lover play roles and act out sexual fantasies:
Blue details exactly how role-play makes hot sex even hotter, spices up
your love life when it falls into a routine, and adds playfulness and
passionate intensity. If you or your lover has ever fantasized about
pretending to be anything other than who you are in your daily,
ordinary life, then you’re ready for the world of erotic role-play
fantasies. You’re not alone, as these are among the most popular
fantasies shared by couples, period.
When you try out fantasy scenarios, you’re essentially playing a
sexually explicit version of “make believe.” Some couples use role-play
occasionally for a little bit of kinky fun. Many others enjoy it as
part of their regular sex lives, whether it’s one reliably hot
scenario, or a variety of roles and predicaments. Playful, silly,
explicit and warm and welcoming, this expertly written and assembled
DRM-free audiobook (10 MP3’s listenable on any device) guarantees
plenty of new ideas with explosive results. Features three,
no-holds-barred erotic stories where couples try Blue’s advice to a
delicious finish.
Chapters include:
xi Introduction: Thrill Me
1 Adventures and Predicaments
Scenarios, Roles and Predicaments * How to Bring It Up * Get Started * Who, What, Where and How Quiz (Now view or print for free as a Google Doc) * Tips for Sex Toys
2 Roles and Scenarios
Who Are You? * Everyday Roles and Scenarios (a list) * Fantasy Roles (a list)
3 Erotica: Obscene Phone Call by Scott Wallace
4 Choosing a Role
Context * Active Roles * Ideas for Control Roles * Receptive Roles *
Ideas for Receptive Roles * Opposite Sex Role Play * Cross Dressing
How-To * Cross Dress Roles * Roles With Age Differences
5 Make A Scene
The Perfect Plan * Timing is Everything * The Main Event * Hot Locations * Role Play Room Makeovers * La Sexo Loca in Public
6 Erotica: Bad Doggy by Julia Moore
7 Get Motivated
Props * Role Play Party Favors (list: props and motivation)
8 Scenarios
Sex With a Stranger * Exhibitionism * Forced Sex and Sexual Punishment * Sexual Power * Youth * Gender Swap * Animal Sex
9 Erotica: Rules of the Game by Thomas Roche
Availability: Instant Download
DRM-Free File Format: 10 DRM-free MP3’s and one .doc (erotic role play quiz)
.Zip File Size: 131.5 MB
ISBN: 978-0-9799019-5-9-MP3
Price: $10.00 (USD)
Buy “erotic role play: a guide for couples” .zip (all files) now, $10, via PayPal.
* * * * * *
My podcast loves playing nurse and pat[...]

Just for fun, last night after I recorded my new sex ed how-to audiobook How to Kiss, I set aside this chapter to share. It's chapter 4, where I detail all the different types of kisses: the good, the bad, and the scary! Be prepared: in some places, I giggle uncontrollably -- it was *that* kind of reading (the fun kind). The whole book is sexed-up: it also features two very explicit short erotica stories with pleanty of oral action. Yum! Find more of my inexpensive, DRM-free audiobooks and sex ed ebooks at digitapub.com.

Details:

Sex educator Violet Blue explains throughout 9 audio chapters
exactly how to make the most of the first kiss to the hottest makeout
sessions. With a warm, playful tone and a lot of techniques, Blue
details types of kisses, how to flirt using your mouth, kissing
etiquette, erogenous zones, how to ask for a kiss with and without
words and much more. Ever wonder about hickies, bites, cold sores,
kissing bugs or how to deal with a bad kisser? Sweet nuzzly kisses,
all-out French kissing and everything in between are in this 9-chapter,
DRM-free MP3 audiobook. Blue also reads two explicit, kiss-focused
erotic short stories from authors Thomas S. Roche and Oscar Shemoth.

Last night at the DNA Lounge in San Francisco, I gave a five-minute talk for the nationwide O'Reilly Radar Ignite series -- my talk was called "Porn or Not?" and discussed how online 2.0 social networking communities (like Flickr) are trying to police their users for adult (or "offensive" sexual) content, and how that's working out for them. Or not. Mostly not. I had 20 slides that were automatically advanced every 15 seconds, and by the end of the talk I had veered so hysterically (and hilariously) just to the right of my script, that I ended up on the stage floor on my (stripey-socked) knees... Oh, just listen and enjoy! The place was packed and the audience really loved it. Yay!

The exciting launch of my sex-ed digital media empire, digitapub.com! This podcast is the introduction to my nine (9) chapter audiobook, "open source sex :: pleasure zone basics". It's DRM-free MP3 files for $5 that cover a wide variety of sex ed topics, with techniques and my usual silliness. I have audiobooks for couples on the way, in addition to e-books (in a variety of formats) featuring more sex ed and erotica -- all cheap and shareable. True "open source sex", as I explain in this podcast. Yay! A funny book-tech-nerd note: this might be the first .zip file with an official ISBN number. Here are the details about the audiobook this podcast talks about, forgive the third person sales text:

Violet Blue’s popular Open Source Sex podcast has educated millions. “open source sex ed audio :: pleasure zone basics?
is a 9-chapter audiobook that combines select podcasts with exciting
new material. Learn all about male and female physiology for pleasure —
that’s what the good parts are to touch, and how they like to be
touched. You’ll also hear about how they taste, and exactly what to do
when you want perform oral sex (cunnilingus or fellatio) on a lucky
someone. Learn all about the g-spot, the prostate, male anal
penetration with a strap-on for couples, rimming and more; each topic
is filled with specific techniques. With her hip, humorous, warm and
all-inclusive, non-judgmental (yet explicit) approach to sex ed, it’s
no wonder Webnation calls Blue, “the leading sex educator for the
Internet generation.?

A total, ultimate primer on the G-spot: what it is, how to find it, how to stimulate it, what it feels like, recommended toys and more -- a lot of info, but just a taste of what's in my new book The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot. The book has waaaaay more, including g-spot positions for couples and all about female ejaculation. Yay!

Gimme some sugar, baby -- here's a quick and sweet lecture about playing with the prostate for pleasure. Yum!
This podcast is also a textcast: click the center of your iPod's
trackwheel three times to read the text as you listen to me talk.* * * * * * *The Anus and ProstateSurprisingly little is known about the prostate gland's pleasure purposes. It produces prostatic fluid (the clear liquid that carries sperm during ejaculation), it grows as a man ages (sometimes dangerously), and in case you missed the last podcast -- it can feel really, really good when sexually stimulated. Prostatic fluid comprises up to a third of the liquid volume in ejaculate. It’s clear that it plays an important role in the male pleasure cycle, and it has become touted as the male g-spot. Some call it the "p-spot". When a man reaches the point of orgasmic “no return? (ejaculatory inevitability), the prostate gland joins the seminal vesicles and other ducts in a little do-si-do of pleasant-feeling spasms and rhythmic contractions to create ejaculate -- and this is before the contractions of orgasm. If you are stimulating a man’s prostate prior to and during ejaculation, you can often feel the gland swell to hardness, then contract before his orgasm.The Male G-SpotThe prostate gland is within the front wall of the anal opening, usually around 1 to 3 inches inside and forward (toward the front of the body or belly button). Its location inside the wall is just behind the bulb of the penis, beneath the bladder, surrounding the urethra in a ring. Because the prostate is anchored at the internal base of the penis, when a man thrusts hard with an erect penis he transmits highly pleasurable sensations to the prostate. It’s a little larger than a quarter in size, though it is heart-shaped and is usually described as being the size of a small walnut.One of the reasons that a man might like anal play is because massaging the prostate gland feels incredibly pleasurable and can make orgasm very powerful. But he might also like it because the anus and anal opening is rich with nerve endings that feel good to the touch; the 15,000 pudendal nerve fibers that wire and electrify the entire pelvis interact with the nerve bundles in the anus and prostate. There are also psychological factors in play here -- what's a filthier insult than ass, what's dirtier than shit, what's as insultingly feminine as penetration (and liking it)? He may like that it’s a big taboo, that it’s a “dirty? thing to do; maybe no one touches him there and it means a lot to have you care about his pleasure; or it may be part of a dominant/submissive fantasy scenario in which he “makes? you do it, or you “make? him submit to it. One thing is certain -- the men who like anal stimulation like it a lot, and for many of these men, prostate stimulation can turn an orgasm into an unforgettable experience. But wait -- ass class is still in session: the perineum stretches from the base of the testicles to the anus, where it is no longer perineum and definitely ass. It has some hair, either a light, downy covering, or a thick, coarse carpet -- it’s different on every man. All humans have hair around their anus, whatever your gender; if you don’t, then you either shave it or are too young to be reading this. Between his cheeks, you’ll see the anal opening, a pucker that will differ in color from the skin on the rest of the body. In fact, it’s common for the thin skin surrounding the pucker to be lighter or darker in color between the cheek[...]

Guess what -- I'm back. It's been quite a ride during the break, and thank you for sticking around (or welcome back if you took a break as well). This new episode has me taking you on a tour of male sexual anatomy for pleasure. From front door to back, I explain physiology and pleasure, and what parts like to be touched, and how.
This podcast is also a textcast: click the center of your iPod's
trackwheel three times to read the text as you listen to me talk.* * * * * * *Male pleasure podcastThe System: Penis, Testicles, Pelvis, Anus: Prostate in the CenterContrary to marketing stereotypes, men cannot be stimulated to orgasm with horsepower, touchdowns or swimsuit editions -- the wick of Eros may be lit above the shoulders, but it glows at crotch level, thank you very much. You might think that it's a simple affair, that like all of its correspondingly yawn-worthy phallic allegories of guns and hoses, getting a guy off is as simple as "unzip fly, aim, and shoot". But as we'll see, a cigar isn't always a cigar, and not only is the male pleasure system deliciously connected and complex, but the packaging is exciting, versatile, and rejoices in delightful deviance. Men’s genitals all begin from the same stuff in utero (a la the fetal genital ridge), but as a boy grows into the uniqueness that is him, his parts grow with him and become as unique to him as his face and fingerprints. But though there are infinite variations, what you will generally encounter when you slide the man out of his Calvins is: a penis (circumcised or not), a scrotal sack containing two testicles, and pubic hair that usually covers the mound over the pubic bone, the base of the penis, the testicles, and the perineum (from the base of the balls to the anus). The skin on the pubic mound, the perineum, and the anus is similar in texture to the skin on the rest of his body, but usually a different shade. It deepens and changes in color as it reaches the base of the penis and the scrotum. The darker skin is softer and thinner than the skin on the rest of his body.There are many nice things about penises -- especially that each man has his very own. Penises come in a variety of shapes and sizes. The range of sensation, size and responsiveness is also different for each man and depends on various factors -- so rule number one is that you can’t predict anything based on the way a penis looks. They also vary greatly in size, both in flaccid (soft) and erect (hard) states. The size of a man’s soft penis is not a reliable gauge of its erect state, or attitude once fully hard; it could have the body of a supermodel but the brain of a… supermodel. It could be Clark Kent, Dr. Jekyll, Diana Prince… Powers of transformation aside, the base of the penis sprouts from the pubic mound, which is usually covered with hair—it can be thick as a forest, or thin and barely there. The skin covering the pubic bone (or pubic mound) is generally fleshier than any of the skin surrounding it, and the mound is where the skin begins to deepen in color as it meets the base of the penis. The shaft of the penis begins just below the pubic bone and continues internally almost all the way to the anus. This part of the penis can't be sized up through jeans, or compared in the locker room, but rather than a private joke, it's more like a secret smile.Penises come in more shapes, sizes, and variations than words can communicate -- though there certainly has been a lot written about them. The skin covering a man’s [...]

Seduction and flirting, part two. In this part two, I
explain the powerful tool known as smiling, how to start a conversation, what to talk about, how to tell if they're interested in you (or not) and how to stop it when you decide you don;t like them. And -- I totally lose it cracking up laughing near the end, a sign of danger for whoever I flirt with and seduce next... These seduction and flirting podcasts are a giggly, fun and informative explanation all about flirting and seducing someone you're
interested in, whether they're a stranger or a long-term lover.
Everyone loves being seduced, and you don't need to resort to cheap
tricks or hypnotism to make a hot, fast connection.
This podcast is also a textcast: click the center of your iPod's
trackwheel three times to read the text as you listen to me talk. I
veer off the text quite a few times and crack myself up more than once,
so consider yourself warned...
Seduction and Flirting: Part Two
Smiling is a powerful thing. The easiest way to disarm, relax and intrigue a anyone is with a smile. It sounds simple and corny, but when you're flirting, a soft or slight smile dancing on your lips is an instant relaxer. A smile gives the unconscious impression that you have a great sense of humor, are approachable and that being around you is safe and indicative of a good time. Yes, a smile says all that without words. And even a light smile while talking can make you appear that much more inviting.Next time you people-watch, look around at how everyone is holding their mouths, and how it speaks volumes about your impression of them. Someone with tight unsmiling lips seems stressed, unfriendly. Another person might have a frown, or be posing with a serious mean look -- no smile here, just unapproachable people. Find people in the crowd who are smiling, laughing, or have just the tiniest hint of a smile playing around the corners of their mouths. See how they look more attractive, friendly, and sexy? We instinctively feel good around people who are smiling -- and that's just how you'll want any potential flirt-targets to feel when they look at you.A smile does indeed weave a spell around you. But you don’t need to look like Mommie Dearest walking through the subway or standing at the snack table. No, a maniacal smile will send the opposite message. You just need the tiniest smile at the corners of your mouth to look sexy, happy and open. Keep your lips closed, and gently curve the edges up in a half-smile, and this is the sexy smile you'll use when you make an entrance, stroll sexily across a room, gaze at paintings, survey the last of the snack table's cheese in a can, or anything else you happen to be doing.Our lips are one of the most suggestive, sensual erogenous zones we've got -- and right on our faces. When someone is interested in you, they'll look at your lips almost as much as your eyes. You can slyly direct them to look at your lips throughout your entire communication with them, no matter if you're talking or not. During conversation, you can play around with what touches your lips, how they are touched and what goes in and out of them. Bite your lower lip suggestively while smiling; rub them together softly and smile. Bite the end of your finger for a second -- tilting your head down to do so is very flattering to your eyes and face. Touch your straw to them before you sip. Rub them lightly on the edge of a glass. If you're not sure they're paying attention, [...]

Seduction and flirting, part one. This is a giggly, fun and informative set of podcasts all about flirting and seducing someone you're interested in, whether they're a stranger or a long-term lover. Everyone loves being seduced, and you don't need to resort to cheap tricks or hypnotism to make a hot, fast connection. In pasrt one, I explain confidence (and how to fake it), body language (with tips celebrities use to get noticed), how to make an entrance, and how to use eye contact -- even if you're really shy.This podcast is also a textcast: click the center of your iPod's trackwheel three times to read the text as you listen to me talk. I veer off the text quite a few times and crack myself up more than once, so consider yourself warned...Seduction and Flirting: Part OneYour goals don't need to be world domination or creating an army of male slaves -- though all skill levels are encouraged to apply. Perhaps you're tired of being the too-quiet one in the group and for a change you'd like to be the attention-magnet for an evening. Or maybe you're on the prowl for a down-and-dirty fling. You don't even have to dress saucy to be a first-rate flirt; your powers to attract and seduce are your own secret weapon, one that you can use to strike at any time, in any place, in any guise. This podcast will give you concrete tools to nurture your flirting powers, useful for a lifetime of being a femme (or homme) fatale flirt.Prescription for Flirt Success: ConfidenceFirst, you'll need to master the use of one secret weapon that works anywhere, anytime, and in any outfit, from stilettos to sneakers -- confidence. Like a trademark logo, confidence lets your flirt- or seduction-targets know immediately that there is something special about you, and acts like a homing-beacon for interested parties. Confidence need not be brash or flashy. It can be subtle, sophisticated or powerful -- and it doesn't matter what you look like, how you really feel inside, or how klutzy you are. It is the key element of your most effective flirting techniques.Confidence, no matter who's got it, is always an act. It is a learned behavior, faked until it's second nature. Ask any exotic dancer, and she'll tell you how scared she was the first time she danced onstage naked, but she just acted confident, fooling everyone. A focus on behaving confidently helps you to keep sight of your goals while acting like the queen of the universe (even if you feel like hiding or running in tight little circles screaming), and keeps you motivated. Never pay attention to the critics in, or outside of, your head. Proceed with confidence through any room or conversation and you'll be projecting enough internal strength to make your critics disappear. But what if you don't feel confident? Don't you wish there were some pill you could take? Why can't you just *be* confident?I'm worried that I'll look ridiculous.Plan your strategies, learn seductive body language, try on your outfits and makeup ahead of time, and you can't miss. If you have a plan, the only thing they'll see is someone sexy who feels confident and enjoys life. They'll also be interested to talk to you. The only thing that might show is nervousness, but that will disappear after the first few minutes.What if I screw it up?Take every precaution to make sure that you feel comfortable and sexy in your outfit, that you have a few topics to chat about, and a backup plan of something to do if you don't ins[...]

Female anatomy for pleasure! This episoide is my lecture on female genital anatomy -- not for reproduction, as in every other treatment of the topic, but instead *purely* for sexual pleasure. Learn more (and plenty of oral techniques) in my book Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus, and enjoy this textcast by reading the transcript below, or on your iPod by clicking the center trackwheel three times.See anatomical drawings and read erotica about cunnilingus on my site at: http://www.tinynibbles.com/cunmain.html* * * * * * *Female Anatomy for PleasureWe all know about reproduction -- the what and how babies are made and birthed in relation to our genitals. Even if we're fuzzy on a few details, most adult women have a pretty good idea about how our pussies work for baby-making, or at least know our way around some kind of birth control. And pretty much the majority of us have self-preserving knowledge about sexually transmitted infections and staying safe (or managing a virus, or curing an infection). The problem is, even if this information came in bits and pieces, the easy (and happy) way or through difficult learning lessons, none of this tells us how to have fun with our clits, vaginas, g-spots or even our asses. Even though the fact that playing with all of these wonderful pleasure zones might be what got us informed about troubleshooting our systems in the first place.The thing is, even if we get any type of formal education about female genitals, none of it has anything to do with pleasure -- how to make them feel oh-so-good. Chances are good that if we got any info about our pussies in school, it was in the form of illustrated internal anatomical drawings and estimates on how much we bleed a month and for how long -- then how pregnancy occurs. That's a great bit of info -- but it's missing the critical fact that this stuff feels good (which I think should come first, to explain why we'd stimulate our genitals in the first place).Erotic videos and "gentlemen's magazines" can sometimes be vaguely instructional, but viewers should be cautioned that a great deal goes into making the actresses’ and models' genitals look uniform -- including labiaplasty (plastic surgery on the labia), and liposuction of the outer lips. They routinely get a dusting of makeup and occasionally "pussy glue," a tacky gel that holds the inner labia open to the unflinching eye of the camera. Not to mention airbrushing. And as for critical life skills as smart girls, learning how to be sexually self-reliant and understand how our pleasure systems work should be at the top of the survival list.This lecture is certainly focused on our pussies, but refreshingly it has nothing to do with reproduction. Welcome to the world of pleasure-based female genital anatomy. AnatomyLook down, and the first tihng you see is the pubic mound (or mons veneris, or mound of Venus). This is the area over the pubic bone, usually covered with hair, and it tapers down and between her thighs, where the inner thighs meet the torso and splits neatly around the vaginal opening.Because nature delights in deviation, women's genitals differ greatly in appearance -- their size, shape, and color are as unique to each woman as her fingerprint. Each woman's vulva has the same basic elements, but how they look always differs to varying degrees. The range of differences is so great that there actually is no “normal? when it comes to appearanc[...]

Prostate pleasure for couples! To celebrate my brand-new book The Adventurous Couple's Guide to Sex Toys, listen to me smilingly talk you through an intro to male anal pleasure from the "bend over boyfriend" chapter. Here, you'll find out about prostate pleasure, how couples can get started and have a lot of fun with male anal penetration, and a strap-on sex primer for couples. There's a lot more detailed info about this *delightful* sex act in the book, and you can hear hot erotica about it in Open Source Sex episodes 8, 31 and 40.This is a textcast; if you got this podcast in iTunes and want to read along (or refer back to the information later), click the center of your iPod's trackwheel three times and scroll through the text at your leisure.Also: I have a seperate feed for erotica now at http://violet.libsyn.comText for Open Source Sex 45Straight couples have reinvented anal sex, and the "Bend Over Boyfriend" phenomenon brought on by the how-to video of the same name have skyrocketed harness and dildo sales to heterosexual couples across the nation. Perhaps the fact that straight men are interested in receptive anal exploration with their female partners comes from increased awareness about prostate pleasure -- sometimes called "the male G-spot". Or maybe men are just more comfortable and confident about their sexuality and see through all the contrived myths linking male anal sex and homosexuality to make up their own minds (because not all gay men like anal sex, and being penetrated can't make someone gay no matter how much they might want it to). But most likely, because our culture talks about sex more than ever before, happy, horny and adventurous guys and gals are looking at each other's bodies like the pleasure playgrounds they were meant to be. And that's a really good thing.Have you ever wanted to turn the tables on your lover, strapping on a sexy black harness, fastening in a dildo to jut out from between your legs, just so -- and follow through with everything your new dick implies? And what would that entail, exactly; strutting around in a pair of high heels, or going all the way and dressing extra butch in a tank top and workboots? Better yet, follow all these lines of thinking to see how hot and bothered you get while stroking your new erect appendage, rubbing all over your lover's face and having them give you a blowjob -- or more when you take total control and penetrate them.Sound hot? It is. Being on the receiving end (literally) of a strap-on is just as arousing. Whether it's a power exchange fantasy, a gender-bending scenario or just the blissful sensation of feeling your lover inside you, strap-on sex has little to compare itself to.Wearing a strap-on, even if you don’t do anything with it, is an experience full of revelations and a sense of sexual giddiness that must be experienced to be understood -- in addition to the incredible arousal that usually comes with playing with "your dick". There are no consequences to strap-on play. Being penetrated and played with by a lover in a harness is just as fun, intense, and sexually exciting as doing the strapping, and the orgasmic potential is eye opening.Penetration is one of those very amazing things that connect you with your lover like nothing else, and it can be an incredible turn-on for both of you. Penetrating a man with your finger or fingers, a dildo, or a vibrator, you e[...]

I'm thrilled -- thrilled! -- about the arrival of my newest book, The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn! Tonight I thought it would be fun to read the introduction to the book, where I explain how I got to be a professional female porn reviewer and sex blogger, my sad-yet-funny trials trying to find good porn, and why --and how -- porn can be hot and lame and fun all at the same time. It's that fun, and that personal.

I hope you like it; it means a lot to me.

Check out the entire table of contents for the book in this blog post:

More from my NPR pirate radio interview series: an interview with my best friend Thomas Roche! I get him to spill about his mad skillz with the necrophilia fetish lecture at San Francisco Sex Education (where we both teach and he's volunteered for ten years); then we digress into discussing erotica, crime writing and its seedy/inspiring erotic elements (yay tits and gunpowder!), his work as the editor at Eros Zine, and of course -- porn! We have a sweetly antagonistic friendship, and he just wrote a bunch of hot stories for my upcoming sex guidebook Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples.

Also:
NPR is a community not-for-profit volunteer organization and they're
hosting my filthy dirty interviews for free. They're having a hard time
coming up with rent for one month this summer -- it's $800 -- so if you
can spare ten bucks, please donate it to NPR!

In the ongoing interview series I'm doing at NPR, this has to be one of my very favorite interviews *ever*. Just listen to me talk to Pink and White Productions' Shine Louise Houston and see if you can't resist laughing -- Shine is the producer, director and creator behind what is one of the hottest, most authentic lesbian porn companies around, and it's all DIY, indy porn. Listen and see what I mean; Shine talks about why fluffy-haired long-fingernailed "lesbians" in regular porn just don't seem to reflect how girls are having sex with each other (really?), amazing behind the scenes tales of fisting and female ejaculation on the set of her cult hit porn film The Crash Pad, what's in her future and all about that crazy party I went to a week ago... She invited me to a party, things got out of hand with fists and lesbian porn stars and bread products and I took pictures... So much fun. Look at all the images I shot at that wild party in these two galleries: Pink and White Party; More Pink and White Party. But really, listen to the podcast and see how we crack ourselves up so bad about stuffing loaves where bread has never been before that we make actual snorting noises.

MP3 not enough for you? Watch and listen with the video slideshow version of this podcast at:

Please note: there is an extra 6-7 minutes of music on the end of this podcast from the local 30-piece Extra Action Marching Band. I left it on there for a little something different; skip it if you hate it.

Also: NPR is a community not-for-profit volunteer organization and they're hosting my filthy dirty interviews for free. They're having a hard time coming up with rent for one month this summer -- it's $800 -- so if you can spare ten bucks, please donate it to NPR!

An interview with Tristan Taormino! Part of the NPR radio series of interviews I'm doing -- this time, Tristan called in from rainy Brooklyn, New York to tell us how to prepare for first-time anal sex, all about enemas (!), anal sex and pregnancy, her new Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 2nd ed. (and all the cool new information in it), her extremely hot video House of Ass and her new contract at Vivid Video to make explicit educational movies! We covered a lot of ground and could've talked for another half-hour, for sure. These interviews are done in a storefront window in the "hip" Mission district here in SF, so imagine the looks I got when people walked by and heard "anal orgasms" coming from the speakers...

Michael Soldier -- one year later! The first interview I did with Michael a year ago (almost to the day) was really popular, so I thought it would be fun to bring him back. Hilarious, crazy stories from our favorite erotic masseuse and gay porn star, including on-set fluffing tidbits, why a local SF Supervisor called Michael a nasty word in front of a huge crowd and John Waters (hint: it has to do with naked jumprope and a Santa hat), and more. This is in the NPR interview series I'm doing for the next few weeks, so the format sounds different than my usual podcast, which is a nice change.

A compelling interview with Adam Zimbardo, MFT, a 16-year veteran from San Francisco Sex Information and the front lines of nationwide anonymous sex advice; a sobering state of the nation address on sex ed in America. Do you have safe sex? No one is -- so now what do we do? Listen to our interview, which manages to be funny and intense at the same time. This is on NPR, so the format sounds different than my usual podcast, which isn't such a bad thing...

How do *you* taste? Taste of a man and taste of a woman -- this is my lecture all about the tastes and scents to be found between the thighs, and how to make yourself taste yummier, naturally. I'm getting ready for a new semester of lectures at SFSI and thought this would be a nice, er, warmup! Especially with the lovely photo (in the MP3 file) by Siege @ nerve.com. Read oodles more about oral sex in my Ultimate Guide to Fellatio and Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus.

As per the directions in the podcast, here are the ingredients for the Super Spunk Smoothie (it works with all genders) -- drink for three days and avoid the things I mention in the podcast, though skipping asparagus is a no-brainer...

Unsafe sex products! This is the audio version of a new page you'll see in my website's left sidebar, labeled "unsafe". It's required reading for all sex shoppers; I explain sex products that can hurt you, how they work (or don't work) and why novelty companies make products that can harm you. You'll never want to use Anal-Eze, you'll freak out about Nonoxynol-9 and you might want to upgrade your toy collection.

Tie me up? How about bondage and kink for the rest of us...! You don't need to know complicated knots or BDSM lingo to have a hot time tying up your sweetie and having fun with them, so here I talk about what nasty and sweet things you can do do with someone who's all tied up -- ice cubes to oral sex and beyond. And I have *a lot* of fun ideas. Then, to get you in the mood I read a really delicious light bondage and first time anal sex story from Alison Tyler's Best Bondage Erotica. Also, I had an energy drink before the podcast, so decide for yourself if podcasting, hot sex talk, and energy drinks mix, or are a lethal combination...

On a cold San Francisco night, I read "Sperm Bank Teller" by Polly Enmity, from Best Sex Writing 2005. When I found out that someone I knew not only works in a really dysfunctional local sperm bank -- but that she also regularly has sex with "donors" -- I asked her to write about it for my book. It's all real and all true, from the bizarre way donors are screened to the blowjobs in the donors' rooms.

With a little nervousness and a lot of enthusiasm, I have a late night call with adult film legend and pro-sex, pro-porn sex educator Nina Hartley. We discuss how US obscenity laws are like organized crime tactics; her delicious new film "Nina Hartley's Guide to Erotic Bondage" that bends the rules of romance, bondage and sex; her amazing upcoming book and the roads that led her to becoming a pleasure activist; how she deals with anti-porn detractors and much much more.

Enjoy this explicit how-to lecture on threesomes! Learn how to make them happen, avoid jealously, what to do when you're all naked together, where and how to find people to play with, and what to say to get everything started... And what to do when things don't turn out the way you'd planned. All this, plus lightly cheesy erotica by Alison Tyler and music by my beloved friend, Tim North.

Returning from a bout with the flu, I present a lecture I usually give to San Francisco Sex Information hotline students all about the strange, bizarre, sexy and fascinating world of sexual fetishes -- with a special focus on making fetish sex hot. But first, we open with some small talk to get you in the mood and a few interesting words about democratic sex education by Minx from the podcast Polyamory Weekly.

Back safe from my non-relaxing trip to London, you might as well call me little Miss Ranty McRant in this podcast; I talk about landing right when the tube is blown up, then talk about the iTunes sex podcast issues, rant about a porn magazine, then read some erotica that gets my temperature up...

This is the second of three "Porn Chat With Violet Blue" shows, when
Neighborhood Public Radio pirated a local frequency in commemoration of the FCC's rulings on Janet Jackson's Super Bowl nipple slip, and since they were calling it their "NPR Indecency Series" they asked me to come on and host my own show for a few weekends. To make it as indecent as possible I interviewed Best Gay Male Porn Performer 2004 Michael Soldier -- and it was dirty, dirty, and fun. I asked multi-award winning sex performer Michael what you need to do to get ready to "do" porn, how to shoot the biggest loads, all about his weird experiences as a gay male erotic masseuse and much much more.

Listen to a pirate radio interview I did recently with Jack Shamama, a porn scriptwriter who also works over at gaypornblog.com. A local group called Neighborhood Public Radio pirated a local frequency in commemoration of the FCC's rulings on Janet Jackson's Super Bowl nipple slip, and since they were calling it their "NPR Indecency Series" they asked me to come on and host my own show for a few weekends. This is the first of three "Porn Chat With Violet Blue" shows, where I interview Jack about what you have to do to write a porn script, safe sex ignorance in porn and much much more. We had a blast, especially since the show was done in a storefront window in a busy San Francisco neighborhood, with huge speakers blasting our conversation out onto the street -- we had a huge crowd, and motorists were slowing down to listen. Oh, and the awards we talk about in the interview: he won best screenplay.