The mother who went on personal business during a school field trip should NEVER be allowed to haul children back and forth ever again. At the very least, I'd make absolutely certain that my child would never drive with her again.

We had a few extremely nervous minutes last week when our 7 year old grandson did not get off the school bus at our home due to a transportation department mix up. It was a tremendous relief when he was located, and we knew that he was safe.

I can imagine how upset the OP was not knowing where her child was when he had been driven in a private vehicle. It does sound like she waited a long time, and that after everyone else was back and she finally asked someone, it was still another 10 minutes.

I think that I would have rushed breathlessly to the vehicle when it arrived and said something like, "My God, is everything OK?" I'm not sure if that is polite or not, but that would have been my reaction. If she had then told me that she had picked up her own children I probably would have said, "Really? I thought that was against the rules." OP, I think that she got off easy when you only gave her the "glare of death."

I think it is fine to say your child can't ride with her again. The flip side is that the school might say you need to drive your child to field trips yourself or keep them home on field trip days.

I also noticed OP mentioned drivers had all had background checks. In this day and age that would probably include fingerprinting which isn't cheap or quick. Time and money was spent making sure this mom was OK to drive and be.around kids. Replacing her would not be easy or fast.

First of all, yes, I volunteer all the time with both of the boy's schools. Yes, I have driven for these field trips before. Which is why I say that I would never do this to another parent. If it was me running ten minutes late for any reason, and the director of the preschool wasn't picking up, I would call the land line at the church which is always manned during regular business hours. I'm sure one of the staff would go out and alert any parents with children in my care.

The rest of the group was fifteen minutes later than they expected to be. They should have been back at 2:45. But were all back except late mom by 3:10.

Let's be clear, I understand being late. I don't understand not making every effort to contact the people I was late for. Especially when I have their child in my care.

Also, really how hard is it to call your older childs school and let them know whats up so they can tell your children and maybe let them wait in the office for you?

I think if the whole group was late, then the time to say something to the school staff is before everyone gets back into vehicles to drive back from the field trip. I'm presuming that the other mother had some way of telling time. So she probably knew she was going to be cutting it close with having to pick up her kid from school.

I think she would have known when they left the field trip for the school that she would be running late and that was the time for her to speak up and let the school staff know about her problem. Once she left with the child, she should have followed through and instead called her own kids' school to tell them she was running late for pickup.

It wouldn't surprise me if the driver had done just that - she may have told the teacher that she needed to pick up her other kids.

I think that the OP should talk to the teacher if that would make her feel better. However, if you complain about volunteers you should be prepared to step up to the plate and volunteer yourself.

If this was a petty complaint I would agree but this is anything but petty. There are very serious reasons why you can't do this when you are a trip chaperone.

And I think this attitude that volunteers should be able to ignore the rules to suit their needs just because they volunteered is way over the top. If you volunteer to do something whether it be for your kids school, your church, or social organization you agree to adhere to their rules/standards. You don't get carte blanche to do whatever you please because you volunteered and if someone doesn't like it well tough noogies let them do it next time.

First of all, yes, I volunteer all the time with both of the boy's schools. Yes, I have driven for these field trips before. Which is why I say that I would never do this to another parent. If it was me running ten minutes late for any reason, and the director of the preschool wasn't picking up, I would call the land line at the church which is always manned during regular business hours. I'm sure one of the staff would go out and alert any parents with children in my care.

The rest of the group was fifteen minutes later than they expected to be. They should have been back at 2:45. But were all back except late mom by 3:10.

Let's be clear, I understand being late. I don't understand not making every effort to contact the people I was late for. Especially when I have their child in my care.

Also, really how hard is it to call your older childs school and let them know whats up so they can tell your children and maybe let them wait in the office for you?

But you said in your OP that phone reception was really bad in your area, so that explains that. She obviously tried to make some calls, since she left a message with the director. Perhaps that's all she was able to do before the reception went.

First of all, yes, I volunteer all the time with both of the boy's schools. Yes, I have driven for these field trips before. Which is why I say that I would never do this to another parent. If it was me running ten minutes late for any reason, and the director of the preschool wasn't picking up, I would call the land line at the church which is always manned during regular business hours. I'm sure one of the staff would go out and alert any parents with children in my care.

The rest of the group was fifteen minutes later than they expected to be. They should have been back at 2:45. But were all back except late mom by 3:10.

Let's be clear, I understand being late. I don't understand not making every effort to contact the people I was late for. Especially when I have their child in my care.

Also, really how hard is it to call your older childs school and let them know whats up so they can tell your children and maybe let them wait in the office for you?

But you said in your OP that phone reception was really bad in your area, so that explains that. She obviously tried to make some calls, since she left a message with the director. Perhaps that's all she was able to do before the reception went.

First of all, yes, I volunteer all the time with both of the boy's schools. Yes, I have driven for these field trips before. Which is why I say that I would never do this to another parent. If it was me running ten minutes late for any reason, and the director of the preschool wasn't picking up, I would call the land line at the church which is always manned during regular business hours. I'm sure one of the staff would go out and alert any parents with children in my care.

The rest of the group was fifteen minutes later than they expected to be. They should have been back at 2:45. But were all back except late mom by 3:10.

Let's be clear, I understand being late. I don't understand not making every effort to contact the people I was late for. Especially when I have their child in my care.

Also, really how hard is it to call your older childs school and let them know whats up so they can tell your children and maybe let them wait in the office for you?

But you said in your OP that phone reception was really bad in your area, so that explains that. She obviously tried to make some calls, since she left a message with the director. Perhaps that's all she was able to do before the reception went.

Once she hit town, her phone should have been working just fine.

And before she left the venue, she could have told the director she needed to stop.

And I think this attitude that volunteers should be able to ignore the rules to suit their needs just because they volunteered is way over the top. If you volunteer to do something whether it be for your kids school, your church, or social organization you agree to adhere to their rules/standards. You don't get carte blanche to do whatever you please because you volunteered and if someone doesn't like it well tough noogies let them do it next time.

So, so true. I met some very entitled people trying to be a Friend of our local library. Some people just don't understand that rules are for everyone.

It is not a problem with parent volunteers, it was a problem with this one parent volunteer who made a decision to take another person's child, without permission to run her personal errand. If they ran over at the field trip and she knew she was running late (and I am sure she had to know), she should have opened her mouth and told a teacher "I have to pick my child up at school by x time, then I will be right over to drop off OP's son". Then the school would have told OP, her mind would have been at ease knowing where her child was and when he would be there. It is not fair to tell OP to suck it up and volunteer herself if she doesn't like what the mother did. This mother broke protocol and told a virtually strange child to go take care of her personal business. Doesn't matter if it was to pick up another child, an adult, a coffee..whatever. She agreed to drive this child from preschool to field trip then back again..not well, I have to go do this or that. And leaving a message isn't right. You have another persons child, you call until you get hold of someone and if her cell wasn't working, she could have borrowed the schools phone. The other mom broke the agreement, plain and simple. We can go round for round all night over the amount of time, or what if's, but the fact was she broke a rule that she agreed to when she volunteered and for that she should not be allowed to volunteer to drive any other kids again.

She didn't stop for gas or let a kid use the restroom. She broke the rules and took a child who wasn't hers on a personal errand. She should not have volunteered if her timeline didn't allow for the trip.We don't know how much the OP volunteers and that is irrelevant to the situation.She should not be allowed to do field trips anymore and the drivers should have to read and sign the rules before driving.

If you are not an employee of the school, you would not be performing "personal errands".

Whether or not the OP volunteers is relevent. If a 10 minute delay is going to upset her she needs to be driving her own child.

Is she able to drive her own child? I mean, maybe OP has a job and can't take time off to drive for field trips. Maybe she has younger children at home to care for. Maybe she's in school. Maybe she doesn't drive or prefers to volunteer in the classroom.

This is a personal errand. If volunteer mom was on a tight schedule, she didn't need to volunteer. Or she could have told an employee of the school "After the field trip I need to pick up my other kids from school, so I won't be able to drive any other kids back with me", and I'm sure the school would've figured out a solution. The rules say she can't go pick up her other kids while driving other people's kids back from field trip. That's it. That's the rule. If she's 5 minutes late, or 10 minutes late, or a half hour late because of it doesn't matter. She's not allowed to do it. Period.

Remember this woman was essentially a stranger. Sure, the kids go to the same school. But that's it. What if it hadn't been picking up other kids that made her late? What if she had decided to pick up a friend from work? Or stopped at Starbucks? Is that still ok? Only 10 minutes right?

A lot can happen in 10 minutes. And more importantly, if you take my hypothetical children somewhere and they are to be back by a certain time, they are to be back by that time. If there is a delay, such as traffic, I expect notification. If everyone else got back on time, and she didn't, then what did she do that they didn't do?

Seriously? First if you read the OP this is her youngest child, so no younger children at home. You'd expect at phone call for a traffic delay? So you want the driver to use a cell phone while driving?

What if she had picked up a friend from work? Okay. What if she had stopped to sell crack? Or sell stolen hubcaps? She didn't do any of that so whats the point?

The school has a practice of using volunteer drivers. The OP can complain about the volunteer, she can drive her own son or she can try to get the field trips ended. Choices one and three will make her unpopular with the other parents.

I think that is OTT. OP has every right to say to the school that that woman can no longer be responsible for her child on a field trip because other mom was wrong. And the OP isn't trying to control anything..she just didn't want her son running errands with someone she had not given permission to do so with.