Please read this and tell me I have HIV..........

Jan 27, 2007

Hi Dr. Bob

Can you please tell me I have HIV because I have an upcoming test and I know I have it and want to hear it from you first.

I'll donate 1000 dollars to your foundation if you reply to this and I end up testing negative on Feb 2, which is when my final test is. (Thats how sure I am that I am positive considering Im a broke college student.)

I had many symptoms of ARS 3 and a half weeks after I had unprotected sex with a female who lives in the inner city. These included feelings of the flu and mono. (the fact that she had unprotected sex with me lets me know that she has definitely done it before and given she lives in a high risk area...well). I also had abrasions on my penis so the female to male risk ratio skyrockets from basically 0 to 100 percent. I now know I have HIV although it hasent been confirmed on a test yet. It has been a number of weeks since ARS symptoms went away but I still have oral thrush.

This has not been diagnosed by a doctor but I diagnosed myself. I have yeast on my tongue that scraps off, and the corners of my mouth are chapped....thats definitely oral thrush because I read it on reliable medical sites, including this one.

Im still very fatigued all the time even though I do nothing during the day but sleep. I have sore muscles all the time as well.

I cant control my bodily functions.....I fart and burp all the time.

I know nothing else can be causing these symptoms, im positive of it, literally.

Also I have developed neuropathy a few weeks after ARS as well. Very uncommon given that it usually does not happen for a long time after HIV infection. Once again not diagnosed by a doctor but I have every symptom of HIV related neuropathy that I have read about online.

Affects my feet very much and my hands a little bit.

My hands appear very blotchy at times and when I try and carry things, like a bag of groceries, there are lines on my hand that appear where I was carrying the bag after I put it down and they hurt. Its as if there is not proper circulation of blood in my hands. I play guitar and the same thing happens after playing for a while that has never happened before.....my hands turn red and begin to hurt.

My feet always feel cold and I feel nerve pain on the bottom of my feet when I try to walk. I feel it in both feet but its worse in my right heel as I now walk with a limp. They feel 50 times better when im taking a warm shower and have them in warm water.

How could I possibly have all these symptoms so similar to HIV and not test positive?

Any thoughts or advice?

Thank you Dr. Bob you are one fine guy; you should have been a model with that smile. Send your headshot to GQ.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

You want me to tell you that you have HIV???? Sorry, guy, no can do! After all, this is not the psychic hotline. They are the ones who claim to predict the future. I, on the other hand, can only offer you scientific fact and my expert opinion based on 25 years as an HIV/AIDS specialist physician and 16 years of personally cohabitating with the virus.

Regarding your HIV risk, here's what I can tell you. The odds you did not contract HIV are extremely good! How good? Well, the estimated per-act risk of acquiring HIV from unprotected insertive penile-vaginal sex with a partner confirmed to be HIV positive is 5 per 10,000 exposures. Your particular estimated statistical risk would be even less, as we don't know the HIV status of your Naughty Lady of Shady Lane.

Regarding your symptoms, please note that symptoms are notoriously unreliable in predicting who is and is not HIV infected! As for ". . . I fart and burp all the time. I know nothing else can be causing these symptoms . . ." well, apparently you've had the refried beans at Rosie's Ticky-Tacky Tacos.

Self diagnosis is never, ever a good idea, particularly if the diagnosis is based on information you found on the Internet! I very strongly advise against it.

As for how could you possibly have all these symptoms and not test HIV positive? Easy! Just read through the archives and you'll find gazillions of burping-farting, rash-inflicted, febrile, neuropathic worrywarts who, much to their amazement, turn out to be HIV negative. By the way, many, if not all, of these symptoms often magically disappear once a person no longer "believes" they are HIV positive.

Finally, as for sending a headshot to GQ, I was kinda hoping they would want a torso-swimsuit shot. I'll let you know if the call . . . .

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