Relationship building is a key ingredient in the creation of successful workplaces. It is important… but we don’t always have to make a huge project out of it. Sometimes, we simply have to talk to each other. What a concept! This is a post I wrote a few years ago that highlights the ‘why’ and ‘what’ of casual conversation.

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What’s your take on casual conversation in the workplace? Do you encourage it? Do you participate in it? Or, do you choose not to involve yourself in idle talk?

Indeed, some might think that spending time shooting the breeze with people about this and that, serves little purpose but to waste time. I think that having conversations, even of the most casual kind with the people you work with is important.

Here’s Why:

As a leader, when you engage in conversation with colleagues and team members, you are giving yourself, and your organization, an opportunity to know them beyond what is written on their resumes

If you think it is not important to know people as long as they do the job, then you could be missing something. After all, as a leader it is your job to know what you have to work with in terms of resources. That goes for the human kind as well. Having casual conversations with the people you lead allows you the opportunity to know more about their talents, experiences and skills and helps you to see not only their present capability but possibly their future potential too.

Casual conversations can serve as the glue that brings people together and builds strength in team or company relationships

If you discourage people on your team or in your department from engaging in casual conversations in the hope that they will spend more time doing their jobs, you could also be missing something. Encouraging the development of relationships among people who work together on a daily basis can build strength and a sense of common purpose. In my experience, people who know each other on a more personal level are more likely to want to support each other when it comes to getting the work done, especially when the going gets tough.

Leaders who engage in everyday conversations with those they lead invariably reveal something of themselves that takes them from the realm of “boss” to the more level place of “boss who is also human”

If you want people to participate with you in achieving collective goals and to make contributions that go beyond simply doing what they are told, you must put something of yourself into the mix. People will only share information about themselves with you easily, if you show that you are willing to meet them halfway and share something of yourself too.

Having said all that, I think it important to say too, that casual conversations can go from being constructive and helpful to divisive and destructive if you’re not careful. And, that’s when they get in the way of building healthy productive relationships and workplaces.

So, to avoid this, there are a few things to consider when it comes to engaging in casual conversations at work:

Keep your conversations friendly and professional

This means that, generally, people do not need, or even want, to know all of the intimate details of your life. Seek balanced two-way conversations that give each participant the opportunity to take part. Over sharing (as in, Whoa…too much information!) could be embarrassing and the very thing that will have people avoiding you rather than seeking you out.

Know when the conversation is over and move on

Conversations that outlive their usefulness can, and do, get in the way of getting the work done. Spending inordinate amounts of time leaning on doorframes or hanging over cubicle walls talking about whatever comes to mind is not the idea at all. Keep your exchanges short yet friendly and I suspect that everyone will appreciate it.

Resist, at all costs, any temptation to participate in idle gossip or rumour mongering.

When we engage in rumour, innuendo and other negative lines of conversation, bad feeling and damaged relationships are bound to follow. As leader, it is important to model constructive and helpful conversations and to be clear that negative talk is not condoned.

3 responses to “The Value of ‘Shooting the Breeze’ at Work”

Well said, Gwyn! I agree that the leader needs to model constructive and helpful conversations. As a school principal I learned that some people needed more conversation than others. As one who has a pretty task-oriented personality, I needed to learn how to hold back and allow for some (not a lot) conversation at the start of a meeting. That was important in our culture and also helped me to build connections with people.

Hi Jamie ~ You raise a good point and that is that people vary in the amount of conversation they need, or want. From that perspective, it’s important to be aware of the person with whom you are chatting and be guided accordingly! Thanks for that 🙂