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This will be my (32) 17th time going to Vegas and my girlfriends (31) 1st. I never did a LIVE trip report before and I imagine I will do it lazily however I will try my best to not sound like an idiot (often difficult). So if you hate me before, during, after, I apologize in advance. I will try to update with lots of pics as I always enjoy them most!

Here is a quick run down:

- First night staying in an El Cortez Cabana Super Suite ( Im sure the term Super is stressed). My first time staying there. Paid $127 after all said and done. Last 3 nights will be spent in the North Tower (womp womp). Comped. Only Platinum so $98 ish after fees. I cant wait to make soooo many local calls and send sooo many faxes. Efff off TR

- Flying non-stop from Cleveland to Las Vegas. Leave Saturday at 7:45 AM (or whenever the hell Frontier feels like leaving) and hopefully landing at 9:15 AM. We each paid $186 RT. No luggage (book bags) nor did we choose a seat ( have since checked in and happy with our seats).

- Not sure if we will UBER or take the shuttle downtown. We've each used UBER and LYFT however I do have a referral $10 bonus which we may use Sunday to go to the Strip after checking out. I imagine the shuttle is no more than $8 each to downtown? I figure the shuttle may calm me down a bit as I wont feel so rushed to get there.

- I showed her some YouTube videos of Fremont and all the weirdo inhabitants. She is super super super excited.I am too. Since its her first time I almost feel like Im seeing the city through her eyes. We will spend the day and night on Fremont (obviously), East Fremont, and maybe Container Park. At our local casinos, we usually play slots together, each put in the same amount of money, and take turns until there is a losing spin... cute huh? When she doesn't want to gamble, I will partake in some low limit craps as well as some physical craps. and maybe some BJ.

- I think I want to do Pizza Rock for our lunch. Never been. Love the menu, love pizza, love beer. I lived in a nice sized Italian community growing up in Youngstown, OH and I absolutely love (quality) pizza.

- Sunday through Wednesday will be spent mostly of me taking her to as many casino/hotels worth seeing. Caesars, Bellagio, Venetian, MGM, NYNY, PH, Paris etc. I even promised to take her to Ellis Island jester. Im such an asshole, right? But she is basically down for anything different. She (and we) arent picky about our food (dont want garbage of course, no fast food, ok ok maybe White Castle at 230AM) although I hope to make it to the Cosmo brunch Monday or Tuesday. That's usually my go-to buffet. Everything else will be me asking her what she wants, her saying she doesn't care, me getting mad, then her getting mad, then me getting mad that I should just have made the decision from the beginning. Ive had just about everything so we will def. not starve.

- We may or may not see a show. She wants Penn and Teller and basically so do I. Which means I will either use Tix4Tonight or just buy one my phone since i can get them for around $60 each after fees through TZOO. Ive never been sold on Tix4Tonight as I am fully aware how ot shop and compare prices.

- We will also sit by the pool Im sure one or two morning. Im very tan and she is very,hmmmmm...clear? She basically needs SPF 6,000. We look like salt and pepper next to each other.

- Have to do the usual, Bellagio Fountains, Forum Shops, Venetian Canal Shops, etc. Im fine w that. Less money to blow on a slots. Although she is a lover of penguins and is excited about playing the penguin themed slots.

She is one of the hardest workers I know (retail upper management ) and we look forward to our first big vacation together. If you read everything above I appreciate it and Im sorry....

Maybe I missed something but where are you staying 3 nites? You say you are Platinum / North Tower.....is this possibly a CET hotel? If so, platinum allows you to get BOGO on Penn & Teller. I am Diamond but daughter / son-in-law were platinum & could get BOGO tickets for several CET shows. Sorry if I misunderstood your info. Sure hope you have a great trip & have fun showing your 1st time visitor girlfriend why we all love LV!

Look forward to your report, we (your readers) will be right there with you, hanging on every word, wishing like fruck we were there as your wingman. Please post lots of food porn, and all your winning hands, especially your DOZENS of handpays.

Maybe I missed something but where are you staying 3 nites? You say you are Platinum / North Tower.....is this possibly a CET hotel? If so, platinum allows you to get BOGO on Penn & Teller. I am Diamond but daughter / son-in-law were platinum & could get BOGO tickets for several CET shows. Sorry if I misunderstood your info. Sure hope you have a great trip & have fun showing your 1st time visitor girlfriend why we all love LV!

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My apologies. I put Ballys in the title but neglected to put it in the post like a intelligent person would... womp womp. Just staying in their basic room. Will kindly ask what my "upgrade options are" however not expecting much.

Although I'm aware of the BOGO deal, I'm curious what their base ticket costs? TZOO is (was) the lead option as I can pick my own seat and their current discount is rather descent. We will still get a BOGO paper to see the current deals. Doesn't hurt to inquire.

Literally the following is nothing important but I'm bored but feel free to read...

All packed up and relaxing over my girlfriends. It's National Chicken Wing Day so we picked up some delicious wings at a local hole in the wall bar (our own mix of garlic parm and sriracha). She's packing but I'm basically ready.

Although we live at separate residences, we each live only 15 mins from the airport which is awesome when leaving for vacation. Her friend is picking us up around 615am which was nice of her to offer. Should probably head to bed in a bit. Wake up early, shower, clean undies, and off we go...

fuck..I'm 33 and Kris is 30, and I thought we looked young! yall are gonna get carded..A LOT!
Enjoy your trip, try to hit up off-strip places too.

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Not only do I look young but I'm also only about 5'6 so that helps w the young image. HOWEVER, you'd be surprised how often I'm not asked for ID. I was in Vegas June 20-25 and was only asked for ID once and that was at the TAG lounge inside LINQ. All the drinks I got from cocktail waitresses, servers, bartenders (video poker), and table games were not ID'd. This surprised me.

It's soooo nice living 10 mins from the airport. Our flight was scheduled to leave at 745AM. We arrived at the airport around 635AM and got through CLE security in about 20 mins. One thing I "love" about TSA? It's 2016 and they still can't provide friggn strong enough conveyor belts where I don't have to stand there and manually push through my items. Wanted a Starbucks but the line was porn star ass deep. Walked a little farther and Newport News had a self-serve Keurig for $2. Several different boxes of coffee offered, creamers, etc. By that time we paid, it was time to board. Cut it a tad close actually as we didn't have to wait however I tried to plan it close and did so. Maybe too close? Didn't eat yet but picked up a bag of Combos (hey, it's vacation!)

Anyways we are in the air now (copy and paste from my notes app). A standard Frontier flight thus far although it LEFT ON TIME! Seats are the newer ones that look like office chairs, don't recline, and the tray table is no larger then a white postal envelope. However for $186 RT it's hard to bitch. I'm stuck in the middle (gave the little lady the window) however I'm sitting next to a normal person in the aisle who is cool. As we speak, some mom is pacing back and forth wafting her daughters shit filled diaper. Might be her ploy to get off the plane first. In the end, it's a good flight...

Paid $19 as a couple for the shuttle downtown. Only had to make a couple stops. Couldn't check in at 10 so came back at noon and did so. Love the room. Very very clean.

Before checking in walked along Fremont a little. However a tad disappointed in my girlfriends first impression. Walking toward Walgreens for water and a heavier set black man was yelling obscenities into the air. Que woman walking by and he spit a giant loogy right at her narrowly missing. She ignored it, walked about 15 feet and yelled something at him. Was pretty sad. Was hoping there was a cop in or near Walgreens but there was not.

Lost about $60 each between ElCor and Golden Nugget. Off to lunch! STARVING!!!