Gift Of Time Can`t Be Stolen

Dear Abby: I read those letters in your column about all the stealing that goes on in nursing homes. So many said they finally gave up and quit bringing gifts because they were stolen immediately.

While my father was in a nursing home, the gifts I gave him could not be

``lost`` or stolen. They were something he needed and wanted more than anything else. What were they? My visits!

Every day I would come and bathe him, shave him, feed him, and see that his toenails and fingernails were clipped. Then I`d sit and visit with him a while.

Material gifts were not wanted or needed. They only would have gotten in the way.

Eugene Begley, London, Ky.

Dear Eugene: Thanks for driving home a valuable message. The best gift cannot be bought or sold. It`s giving a part of oneself.

Dear Abby: I have never written to you before, and do so now only because of recent developments involving children turning in their parents to the authorities over drug abuse.

In general, the media applauded this action, yet I am having a terrible time justifying such action on the part of the children. It seems such a short time ago that the media brought to our attention a similar action by Chinese children. I recall thinking how terrible it would be to have our children violate the sanctity of the family.

I realize that drug abuse must be stopped, that this subject is somewhat taboo, and wonder if anyone else has addressed this subject. How do you feel about it?

Daniel Strawhecker, Cincinnati

Dear Mr. Strawhecker: I realize that drug abuse is a serious problem that has taken on global dimensions. But I, along with you, am not comfortable with children turning in their parents. There must be a better way for children to show their parents how much they love them.

Dear Abby: I went to the new Presbyterian minister in town for counseling about my homosexuality. (He`s about my age.) I gave him a paper I had written about Oscar Wilde. I was very proud of it because it rated an ``A`` in Victorian literature.

The minister called my father, repeated our conversation, and told him that I had given him ``filth`` to read!

I am devastated and embarrassed. Why would the minister betray me this way?

Naturally, I feel vindictive, but there was nothing I could do about it. I simply left that church and changed to the Lutheran church. What is your reaction?

Betrayed in Arkansas

Dear Betrayed: The minister`s betrayal of your confidentiality is shocking. It is appalling that someone so lacking in integrity and

intelligence could be a spiritual leader. Write a letter of complaint to the regional synod or presbytery (the address can be provided by any Presbyterian church in your area) and describe what happened. You would be performing a community service.