So I was stationed in Germany, my first duty station. There was this girl name Candy. Not only was she pretty, but she was fine, had a body like a sista-girl and had the prettiest green eyes I had ever seen. Anyway, I had a crush on her like you wouldn’t believe. I tried to talk to her but got the you’re so sweet type of response. Anyway, one day there was a whisper around the barracks that a couple of guys (three to be exact) and a female were in some deep @#$%. Turns out that there was a porn video floating around that involved a lot of sucking…a lot of screwing and a lot of chocolate sauce. After the top secret investigation, which turned out not to be so “top secret”, was over guess who the female star in that video was….you got it …..my precious little Candy.

As a man, and 20 years later, I know otherwise; however, at the time it did confirm the notion that the nice guys get nothing! And that it is the bad boys that get to screw the fine girls and get their @#$% ‘s sucked.