Day 65: Love in Idleness

I was so nervous. At a young and sheltered seventeen years old, I don't think I'd ever been as nervous as that moment. "Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania." These were the first words I'd ever speak on stage. I walked out, looked up at the stage lights, across at the audience, and I suddenly knew I was home. I wouldn't feel that way again, until I stepped behind a bar.

Hello again, my thirsty readers! There are a lot of moments in your life, where, though you don't know it at the time, you are changed forever. Mine came at the start of my senior year of high school. This was the time, where I began to discover who I was. I guess you'd say, it was the moment I truly came out of my shell and realized where I belong for the first time.

I guess you could say I've always been outgoing to a degree. The only thing is, I was the "weird" outgoing kid. I'd walk around the halls, singing to myself, dressing how I wanted, not really knowing what was "stylish" or "cool." As a result, I spent a lot of time by myself. I would read a lot, and I'd get lost in my own imagination. I credit this time for helping me become a creative person today. To make my father happy, I joined the wrestling team. I knew he would rather have a son who was tough, instead of the kid dancing around, singing Disney songs. Looking back, I'm glad I did this. It taught me the discipline I'd need later in life, and those workouts certainly didn't hurt me either.

I just never seemed to fit in with the other athletes though. Our priorities just felt different, and I still felt like the "weird" one of the group. One day, at the suggestion of another student, I swallowed up my fears, and I decided to audition for a play. The school was putting on A Midsummer Night's Dream, and even though I'd never read much Shakespeare, let alone acted it out, I thought I'd give it a go. With script in hand, I read my first lines at the audition, and I was hooked.

I was cast as Oberon, king of the fairies. I think playing a much more fantasy-themed role was fitting. I didn't really know how to act normal after all. It was just a high school play, but that was the moment I knew I had to perform. It was my way to connect to people, and it was my way to bring joy to others. It was almost like I had been released from a spell, one that had kept me dormant and docile. Another spell had taken over in it's place, much like that from the flower in the play, the flower Oberon refers to as "love-in-idleness."

I felt that feeling take over again, the moment I first started making cocktails. There was something about bringing joy to other with something I created. Once again, it wasn't about me. I could connect, and I could be seen, but it's wasn't for me. It was for them. I hope, with every ounce of my being, I have a chance to do that again, when the world takes the stage once more. Will there be enough "love in idleness" to go around?

Love in Idleness

1.5oz Blanco Tequila

.5oz Lime Juice

.5oz Passion Fruit Syrup

.5oz Orgeat

4 drops Pandan Extract

1.5oz Tonic Water

Double Old Fashioned Glass

Shake all ingredients, except tonic, and strain over ice.

Top with tonic water.

Garnish with expressed orange peel and flower.

*Originally a zero-proof cocktail. Since people really enjoyed it, I made this version as well. For the zero-proof, simply increase the lime and passion fruit by .25oz each, omitting the tequila.*

Rediscovering and remembering what makes us feel whole. This seems to be the positive light shining through the clouds we have around us right now. I know I really enjoyed sharing this little glimpse into my life, so thank you for joining me on the journey. Until tomorrow comes, keep shaking.