12 Ways to be More Understanding in a Relationship

There’s a reason why Understanding is one of the top qualities of a good partner in a romantic relationship. Aside from the fact that this trait allows your partner to be who they want to be without the fear of being judged, it lets you see things from other people’s perspective.

If you’re still struggling to know how to be a more understanding boyfriend or girlfriend in a relationship, this article will help you recognize, appreciate and practice this very important characteristic.

Here are ways to be more understanding in a relationship.

1. Take time to get to know your partner better.
The challenge of trying to understand another person lies in one’s inability to actually see them not just as a partner but also as a human being capable of different feelings and emotions. It’s impossible to truly learn how to understand someone if you don’t know them: their strengths, their joys, their fears, and also their imperfections.

As a partner, you have to take your time to get to know your partner better. It might take months or years but it will all be worth it, especially if you want your relationship to last.

2. Be aware of your own feelings and motivations.
Learning how to understand another person can be difficult if you don’t even understand yourself. How well do you know yourself? What are the things that make you happy, sad or angry? How do these feelings motivate you? How do they help you make decisions? If you know the answers to these questions about yourself, then it can be easy for you to look at your partner and understand their own struggle.

3. Never impose your own ideals and beliefs.
No matter how much you think that you are better than your partner in terms of experience, maturity or even in intellect, never impose your own ideals and beliefs. Doing so will only leave you blind and unaware of how they truly feel.

If you want to be an understanding partner in a relationship, you should realize that respecting your partner’s own convictions and accepting their own beliefs as a part of who they are, are necessary if you want to keep your bond stronger.

4. Allow your partner to live a life outside of your relationship.
Being an understanding partner means recognizing that your relationship is not the center of the universe – and it goes the same with your significant other. In other words, don’t force your partner to make your relationship their number one priority – and this includes giving them the freedom to just live and have fun, even if you’re not around.

5. Respect your partner’s needs as a social being.
Let your partner go out with their friends or spend time with their family. Let them travel solo and live their life to the fullest even in your absence. Most importantly, let them pursue that personal goal and encourage them to go out into the world and reach their greatest dreams.

6. Remember that you are not always right.
In relation to the previous section, being an understanding partner means listening to what the other person has to say. You are not always right and most of the time, trying to prove that your views, ideas, and judgment are more acceptable can hurt your partner more and can even lead to an argument instead of a resolution.

7. Learn how to compromise.
If you want to be an understanding partner, you have to focus on finding a common ground, on choosing to agree to disagree, instead of pointing out over and over again that you’re always right. Remember, your partner is not the enemy and both of you are fighting the same fight.

8. Give your partner time to explain before reacting.
When you think that your partner did something that made you feel angry, upset or disappointed, give them a chance to explain. Hear their side of the story and don’t be quick on your judgment. Sometimes, people in a relationship tend to choose anger and react damaging emotional outbursts before actually talking to their partner.

9. Understand your partner’s intentions and motivations.
Learning how to be understanding especially when your partner did something wrong perhaps is the most challenging thing to do, especially if you feel hurt and betrayed. However, you have to find the strength and the love to listen, with full sincerity. Most importantly, you have to have faith in your significant other and give them the chance to understand their intentions and what motivated them to do so.

10. Always choose kindness over anger.
In connection to the previous sections, if there are instances in which you find your partner to be at fault, you have to always choose to be kind than to let anger make things worse. Anger will never solve anything especially if your significant other has done something that could potentially end your relationship.

Anger can be a normal response to an event or an action that hurt you, but it’s the wrong direction especially if you want to fix a dying relationship. To be more understanding means to choose to be kind and gentle, letting you heal together while trying to make it work.

11. Help your partner learn from their mistakes.
Being understanding is one of the ways to fix an almost broken relationship. It will help you heal and understand that even if your partner made mistakes, they deserve that second chance to prove herself/himself once again.

In this process, you have to do your part in the relationship by helping you significant other learn from their mistakes. You have to be patient and understanding enough to give it another go. Most importantly, try to focus on their effort rather than the mistakes that they made.

12. Encourage your partner to be more open.
Not everyone knows how to put their ideas and feelings into words and this reality sometimes becomes a challenge especially in a romantic relationship. First of all, how can you understand someone if they don’t even know how to express their thoughts and share their innermost feelings? In this situation, you have to be more patient.

Encourage your partner to be more open especially about the things that can directly or indirectly affect your relationship. This way, you’ll have the right and clear level of understanding about how you can deal with whatever unexpected circumstances that you’ll face every day as a couple.

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Comments

uHello Charm,
I want to take this opportunity to first of thank you for putting your thoughts on paper. I am also a writer, pastor and a counselor who found some of your articles very interesting. Please permit me to quote you and your writings in an article I am writing Titled “UNANSWERED QUESTIONS IN A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP” (A Practical and biblical guide to Christian Married Couples)

In reading your articles, I found out that if there could only be some biblical references, that would have thrown a crown on your head for hitting the nail on the heads of those who think that they know their spouses or partner.