The #DeeList: Top 5 Reasons to be Celibate

Having relations is cool and all, but have you ever tried not having sex…? Here’s why you should:

5. You Can Focus More on Your Work

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There’s no better focus than when you know there’s nobody to come home to. Trust me, I’ve built a successful career off it. You know what’s waiting for you at home? A glass of wine, and that passion project. Ain’t no man meat gonna accomplish your goals for you, unless you tryna be the next ‘Debbie Does Dallas.’ So get to work!

4. You’ll Get to Know Yourself Better

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Source: Amanda Edwards / Getty

This is the time to really learn who you are and what you like. I mean ain’t nobody else interested in you, so you might as well learn what you like for when somebody finally is.

3. You Can Save Yourself for Your True Love

Sure, casual encounters are fun and fulfilling and keep you from being grumpy. But who cares?? They don’t love you. But if you abstain for 2 years while waiting on your true love….it’ll almost be worth all the batteries you went through.

2. You Won’t be Ashamed When You Get Your Annual

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You know when you gotta get that pap smear and they ask the same question: “how many partners have you had in the last year?” You can proudly proclaim “0, ma’am!” This is an accomplishment compared to the 19 you said 2 years ago.

1. Because I am, and I Need Someone to Relate to Me!

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If my fine ass ain’t getting no sex, then NOBODY should be getting any sex! So unless you got a sexy brother or homeboy, I don’t wanna hear a PEEP about how bae is putting it down. Let’s just all be miserable together!