A Relationship in 100 Words by Comedian Josh Gondelman

This is the second entry in a series in which the writer describes a relationship in exactly 100 words. You can read the first post here.

Josh Gondelman is a writer and comedian, who frequently contributes to nymag.com and Thought Catalog. He also co-created the popular Modern Seinfeld Twitter account. Check out Josh’s work here and his personal Twitter here.

In preschool, I dated Denise, my first girlfriend. Over the past quarter century I’ve forgotten everything about her except for her frizzy hair, which I must have been into at the time. During one afternoon (play)date, Denise and I sat cross-legged in a Fisher-Price tent on my bedroom floor.

“Don’t kiss me,” she said.

Regardless, I pecked her on the cheek. Right away I felt pins and needles of embarrassment. We broke up the following week.

I still feel ashamed when I think back on it, and I hope she never thinks of it at all.