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What relationship traits do you think need to exist in order to have a great marriage?

With the divorce rate being what it is these days, marriage
definitely isn't something to take lightly. After all, most of us
aren't anything like a certain reality star whose reputation is
currently at major risk for her speedy marital shenanigans. Most of us want to be completely sure we're compatible with our potential life partner before zipping down the aisle.

I'll never forget my mom telling me what the rabbi who married my
parents said to them before they took their vows over 35 years ago. He
told them that there are three things you must be in sync with in order
to keep your marriage afloat: Money, family, and sex.
Sounds simple enough, but one or all of those things can get hairy at
some point for any couple! So, while I think that's a terrific general
guideline, there are definitely more nuanced ways to tell if you're a
match made in monogamous heaven. Jacqueline Del Rosario, "America's Marriage Doctor," offered her take on some of those ways.

You are like-minded. Del Rosario explains, "While
you don't have to be exactly the same (let's face it, that would be
boring), you do need to have congruent core morals and values." This is
something I learned again and again when I was out there in the
minefield known as the dating scene. There were guys who I realized
right off the bat had completely polar opposite values (often they were
super-materialistic, posing as "ambitious"). Not gonna work!

Your temperament balances one another. In other
words, even if you're total opposites -- and you can be "the Yin to your
mate's Yang," says Del Rosario -- those differences have to create
harmony in some way, shape, or form. You're headed for a roller coaster
of disaster if your tendencies are just too different. I can
definitely relate ... the boyfriend and I can be on two ends of the
spectrum (passive vs. outgoing, chill vs. go-go-go) from time to time,
but our energies seem to balance out. We learn from one another and make
each other stronger in spite of our differences.

You're both willing to do the work. This is
obviously super-important for any marriage. Can't head into lifelong
commitment territory without being on the same page about how much
effort it's going to take to keep your marriage healthy and happy.
Similarly, you should know whether or not you're able to resolve
problems and work through conflict as a team, explains Del Rosario. That's what partnership is about after all, right?

You speak the same "love" language. It may sound a
bit cheesy, but basically this just means that you're able to
understand/respect/learn/appreciate one another's romantic, sexual, and
emotional needs. Seems to reflect what my parents' rabbi had to say to
them about sexual compatibility. And that's not to say it's always going
to be easy, but you have to both be willing to put in the effort to
satisfy one another. (See #3.)

You're attracted to one another. Sure, looks fade,
but "fundamental human attraction can keep the fires burning between the
two of you -- physically and emotionally," says Del Rosario. It seems
to me the happiest couples who have been together the longest amount of
time seem to have been perpetually drawn to one another. Each believes
the other is majorly HOT!

You genuinely like who they are as a person. To me,
this one is HUGE! So often, we fall for that guy we're attracted to,
but who we could never be friends with ... because he's a jerk or it's
more about sex than a mental connection. Del Rosario argues that "a
relationship must be based upon a solid friendship that can stand the
test of time." You should really truly be able to say your partner is
your best friend. I never knew you could have those two things rolled
into one person ... that is, until I met my boyfriend. Once you find
that, I think it's safe to say you've hit the hubby jackpot.

Do you agree with this checklist? What other relationship traits do you think need to exist in order to have a great marriage?

It might be a little different for each couple. My husband, for example, gives up and shuts down easily. I could be the boss in every way but he wouldn't be happy. I have to make sure he has his voice heard. I have to give him time to think and make it easy to express what he wants. If i interrupt him he will shut down and just say whatever i want is fine. I like to make decisions quickly so its really hard to wait a week or more to decide on even simple things, like what lawn mower to buy. In the end though he is pleased he had input and takes ownership of what we are doing

This is great to see it put down to words like this! Sometomes when your with someone and happy its hard to describe! Its a feeling you have&the love that never lets you question "Am I doing the right/wrong thing?"

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