Like Dirties Sanchez and Hitler, but with the addition of harshly-plucked labially-extracted pubes, hand-rolled twixt thumb and forefinger, and placed on the faecal mucus-be-smeared filtrum, in the style of a methodical Belgian detective. Particularly suitable for hirsute ladies; those granted an ample bush. When applied deftly, can leave the Poiree with a puzzled and contemplative expression. This is particularly desirable.

As she leant provocatively on the bed, Roderick forcefully entered Clarissa whilst thumbing her shitter. Then, on the vinegar strokes he de-thumbed; rubbed, plucked, rolled and stuck - et voila! A Dirty Poirot. All he had to do then was leave the scene of the crime without any clues...