Friday, 1 March 2013

The Hard Way: An Emo Guide To Life

So How Many Emo's do you know? well luckily this Emo has agreed to write a post for the Collective. Try not to cut yourself whilst reading please. Thank you.The Hard Way- An Emo Guide To LifeI'm forever being told that life must be easy for an emo.They say things like: 'You guys just hate everything, don't you?' If only it were that simple. You see we don't hate everything we just aren't allowed to like what other people like. This basically leaves us with My Chemical Romance, skinny jeans that don't cover our asses and Tim Burton movies.

Dating is also an issue. Due to the homogenous look, it can be very difficult to tell an emo boy from an emo girl. Especially in the darkened rooms that we mainly frequent. This has led to many people entering into homosexual relationships without actually realising. Not me, of course (cough).

There is also no way we can date outside of our social peers. I tried it and couldn't cope with the random periods of optimism she seemed to have. Additionally, if it progressed to us having children it wouldn't be fair on the child, as you can't have one parent telling the child that everything will be rosy while he sees scars on their other parent's arm from the time they ran out of chocolate milk and had to make do with strawberry.

Fashion is also a problem. I mentioned the skinny jeans earlier, which are not wholly conducive with walking and it means you have to make sure you are wearing clean underwear for your mosty-visible ass. It's also crucial that you have multicoloured hair covering at least one eye at all times. This can really mess with your depth perception and is incredibly annoying, but is very handy for a dismissive gesture.

I hope this has quashed some of your misconceptions and next time you see an emo you will appreciate the hardships we face on a daily basis, but don't you dare give me a hug.