Thank you, Steve Jobs.

Thank you for releasing an unreliable product that crashes frequently, thus removing any and all media on any and all storage devices attached (MY GODDAMNED MP3 PLAYER). I would also like the time to say I hope that some day Bill Gates extinguishes a cigarette in your eye and that you continue to remain unloved and alone so you can die that way. Take your overpriced, underpowered pieces of crap off the market, stop fooling people who don’t know spit from Shinola about computers, and go work at Burger King, where you belong.