Thursday, August 11, 2011

When I Grow Up

I want to be a food blogger.Yeah, I’m still playing that game of What Do I Want to Be When I Grow Up (like that’s ever gonna happen! Ha-ha!) Okay, yes, I’m forty-four and I obviously still have yet to choose my career path. What?? I’m simply a late bloomer. And I’m BUSY, people!! I’m raising my son, AND three dogs, AND seven birds, AND my husband—and there’s the house and the yard and the cooking and grocery shopping…What there’s NOT is much time for planning my life course. Some things just have to take the sidelines for a while, I simply can’t do everything!

But I love to watch the Food Network. Actually I don’t love to watch it because it makes me want to eat everything in the house, even when I’m clearly NOT hungry but everything looks so GOOD, whatever they’re making or flying around the world to sample either the ‘best of’ or the ‘most bizarre of’ (which, okay, I’m not so tempted to raid the kitchen when Andrew Zimmern is scarfing down brains and sautéed mixed myriad otherwise inedible animal body parts and/or leavings…blech!!) And now—NOW!! Chef Duff is off on some Sugar High thing and that’s just terribly, terribly WRONG!! I love Duff and oh, oh, oh…I love sugar…

What I really want to know, though, is how do these people land these jobs?? You get paid, PAID! Like CASH! To go zipping around the country or the world even—seeking out awesome five star, or maybe dives, but super cool dive restaurants and exotic cuisines and you get paid, PAID!! Like CASH!! To eat—did you hear me? To EAT!!! How is this possible and where do I sign up??? Why wasn’t this available, or in the very least, brought to my attention during career days in high school?? Maybe there was no Food Network back then and no one thought about flying to the remote jungles of South Africa to have your palette’s full of roast hissing cockroaches and stewed scorpions with a side of deep fried okapi brains, but I know, I KNOW there were food critics back in the day. Why did that never show up on any aptitude test I ever took? Huh?? Oh the years I’ve wasted! The foods I have missed!! The cake I’ll never get paid for gorging on—life can be so cruelly unfair…

But, they say it’s never too late to be what you might’ve been. Redemption may still be mine. I want to be a food critic. I don’t need a network television show, I’m entirely too shy for that kind of exposure. I do know my limits. But, seriously, to get paid to eat? I can do that! I can write about it! I can! Try me! Who do I need to talk to? Sign me up today!! Oh, and pass the gravy, will you please?

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Today's pictures--Bill is tearing up, rebuilding/extending the back porch floor and getting it ready for ceramic tile. Here are Phase One (extending the 'upper' level) and Phase Two (plywood--underlayment??) He's so handy!! Just one of the many, many things I love about my honey!!

Inspector Pea checking out the completion of Phase One

We'll still have a step down, but more space on the top level for more sensible decorating/arranging