The Kellz Collection

The following is a deadly serious statement: If you buy a T-shirt in 2013, it should probably be from The Kellz Collection. And don’t say you could just make one of these shirts. You could always just write and perform a crazy episodic opera thing with corresponding insano video, but you didn’t do that either. Actually, you never could have done that. Only R. Kelly's could have come up with Trapped in the Closet. There aren’t enough words to describe a T-shirt that is composed entirely of Robert Kelly's face. Sad R. Kelly face is the most fucking fashion thing to ever exist ever, son. These tees singlehandedly shit on over your designer name pun shirts. I mean, R. Kelly is the great equalizer of our time. For example: One time in Brooklyn, I was at a bar goofing around on the jukebox and this lady was like, “PLAY MICHAEL BUBLE.” And I was all like, "FUCK MICHAEL BUBLE," and then proceeded to play "Party and Bullshit," roughly seven times in a row. She was not amused, but then I put on "Ignition Remix" and everyone, including that salty chick, had the greatest time of their life.Oh yeah, and telling your girl she reminds you of your jeep is a surefire route to Bangtown, USA. Allow two weeks for shipping.