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North Korean missile threat timing slammed as ‘insensitive’

Political leaders around the world have today unified in their condemnation of the current aggressive stance by North Korea. The timing is being censured as both tasteless and inconsiderate, when most heads of state or their senior diplomats will wish to pay their respects to one another at the Thatcher funeral on Wednesday, away from the stress of formal summits. This time should be set aside for quiet reflection in sorting out trade and arms agreements.

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon said that Kim Jong Un has ‘gone too far’ this time, waving his missiles in everyone’s faces and threatening to crack one off. A senior official from the UN stated that starting thermonuclear war this close to the funeral will undoubtedly blight the travel plans of several senior attendees, not to mention the seating plan at the funeral and subsequent evening dinner. From the British perspective, he said that on their ‘big day’, the last thing the artistic director for Operation True Blue needs is sudden interruptions to the live BBC coverage being upstaged by errant missiles fizzing all over the Sea of Japan.

South Korea has offered a ‘Gangnam tribute’ to Maggie for the funeral, but amid concerns that a war might cause problems with airline schedules this may have to be via video conference instead. A spokesman for PSY said he was worried that this might detract from the gravitas of the performance. He offered ‘Something should be done about these unstable dictatorial leaders starting wars for political gain, particularly when they can’t afford to kit out their armed forces.