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Friday, May 20, 2011

When prophecy fails.

Some of you may have noticed that a Reverend Camping has declared that tomorrow, May 21, 2011, is the end of the world. No, seriously. He has. This is news of obvious interest to everyone.

Now, I'm writing this on May 20th at about about 9:05 AM where I live. This is because of when the apocalypse is predicted to occur:

On May 21, "starting in the Pacific Rim at around the 6 p.m. local time hour, in each time zone, there will be a great earthquake, such as has never been in the history of the Earth," he says. The true Christian believers — he hopes he's one of them — will be "raptured": They'll fly upward to heaven. And for the rest?

"It's just the horror of horror stories," he says, "and on top of all that, there's no more salvation at that point. And then the Bible says it will be 153 days later that the entire universe and planet Earth will be destroyed forever."

So what does that mean? Who the hell knows- it's English, but not good English. I'm going to interpret that as meaning "At 6:00 PM in Tokyo, Japan". Why Tokyo? Well, it's that "Pacific Rim" bit, but for shits and giggles we'll also pay attention to Seattle, Washington. Now, if the rapture occurs at 6:00 PM on May 21st Tokyo-time, that means it'll happen at about 5:00 AM on May 21st, U.S. Eastern Standard Time. And, if the crazy people meant Seattle when they said "Pacific Rim" it'll happen on May 21st at about 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.

So get your marshmallows and hot chocolate, because folks- we've either got a front row seat to the end of the world, or a great view of Festinger's wet dream. Either way, it's gonna be fun.

And don't worry, our regular series on The Overton Window will be back before you know it. You know, assuming the world doesn't end tomorrow.

Considering I've already started working on the next episode, you can probably guess what I think is gonna happen. See y'all next week!

My so-called friends have fallen under a spellThey look me squarely in the eye and they say, “All is well”Can they imagine the darkness that will fall from on highWhen men will beg God to kill them and they won’t be able to die?

It seems strange that Rev. Camping believes that anyone who is not living near the International Date Line will have as much as 23 hours to prepare; whatever happened to, e.g., "But of that day or hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only"? (Matt 26:34)