MARSHALL: According to the World Book, is it OK to freeze your persimmons?
LYNDE: No, you should dress warmly.

MARSHALL: What are "dual purpose" cattle good for that other cattle aren't?
LYNDE: They give milk and cookies... but I don't recommend the cookies.

After a police chase in Beverly Hills, a drunk Paul Lynde rolled down his window, saying to the officer, "I'll have a double cheeseburger and a chocolate shake."

Hired David Letterman to write jokes for him in the 1970s.
Blamed the Jews in Hollywood for his declining career.

Paul Lynde was found dead of a heart attack, naked and holding a bottle of amyl nitrate (poppers). Whatever boy he was having sex with that night had run off after Lynde's heart attack, not bothering to call 911.