A caller to the Rush Limbaugh show wanted to criticize Joseph Vento’s requirement that customers order their food in English. And, of course, he had to drag Jesus into it. “Did Jesus,” the caller asked, “go around with a sign that said, ‘If you want to talk to me you have to speak my language’?” Aside from serving as further evidence that one has to check his brain, but definitely not his heart (snif, snif), in order to be a Christian (as I used to believe), this guy tacitly asserts that Americans, when you come right down to it, need to learn each and every language spoken on the face of the earth. (Where is my Universal Translator when I need it?)

Let’s say, for purposes of argument, that we could stuff this caller…. I mean, let’s say that this caller climbed into a time machine and went to the Judea in which his apparently panlingual Jesus walked and talked. Our caller walks up to Jesus and says, “Hello, lord! How are you?” Does Jesus understand him?

Of course, this caller would probably say that Jesus, being God in the flesh, would know every language. But then, the burden of proof would be on him. And what might we conclude if we applied his logic? Well, we would have to conclude that Jesus never slept, because Jesus is God; and God never sleeps. And of course, Jesus never died, because God cannot die.The list could go on.

There is a bit of irony is this Christian calling a talk show and talking about languages. Jesus’s Father is the One who confused all our languages in the first place (see Genesis 11.7).

I don’t know which is more astounding, this Christian’s tacit insistence that Americans learn every language in the world (since we can’t ask that they speak the most common one spoken here in the conduct of business), or his trying to use Jesus to bolster a weak (and stupid) argument, especially his one-sided use of Jesus. After all, the immigrants could follow Jesus’s example. When He entered into the world at the incarnation He made the effort to learn the language of that area of the world into which He entered. Shouldn’t immigrants—legal or otherwise—do likewise?(Then there’s the question of whether Jesus would ever have been an illegal alien. After all, he submitted Himself to both Jewish and Roman law, even to the point of death on a cross. Had there been any immigration laws, I’m sure He’d have obeyed them. but I digress.)

But I guess only “white” Americans have to follow Jesus’s example—or at least some sissified version of it peddled by some pussilanimous caller to the Rush Limbaugh Show. Everyone else—but especially non-white, non-conservative types—gets to do what he wants, regardless what Jesus did or would do.

Thank you sir for making of yourself an example of just the sort of intellectual honesty, depth and rigor that people have come (not!!!) to expect from Christians.