The Scariest Fish Ever Has Been Caught in New Jersey

As it turns out, the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ may not be the most frightening thing you can find in New Jersey.

In what is surely the first fish tale to live up to the hype since ‘Moby Dick,’ some lucky soul named Doug Cutler managed to catch the creature in the above photo with a bow and arrow while in the waters of the Garden State. It’s called a sea lamprey and, yes, it’s as tough as its horror movie-looking-like mug makes it appear.

The sea lamprey, which usually grows to about three feet long, is a parasite that ravages all kinds of fish through a “bloodsucking orifice,” making it the second breed of species to do that, along with ex-wife. This particular sea lamprey is now terrorizing Reddit, where it has generated 1.2 million views. Apparently, this type of parasite has recently been spotted frequently in New Jersey because old dams have been destroyed due to safety concerns.

Next stop: landing an agent and fielding offers to star in Michael Bay’s next blockbuster, which, since it will feature a sea lamprey, is bound to suck.

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