Quite possibly the best post I have made and will

So today, in a thread titled "Of Girls, Dancing, and Boners" I made the greatest post of my UG tenure of almost 8 years. I can't help but copy>paste it into my blog. God help me if I ever lose this:

[QUOTE=sjones]

Well, does the girl you're dancing with want to touch your boner? If so, she may be aroused by the fact that she's just dancing with you and you're flying the flag at full mast. If this is the case, just ram her with the fucking thing with reckless abandon. Rub on her butt and crotch until she's dripping buckets all over the dance floor which is causing catastophic injuries to multiple other dancers because they're slipping in her vadge-sauce.

However, this may not be a good idea if you're "traveling light" in the trousers. In this case, maybe only light rubbing of the penis on her, because you don't want her to know it's infantile until she's past the point of no return. If premature ejaculation is a problem for you, I'd probably be aware that too much grinding will make you splooge your pants, causing an even more embarrassing scene for yourself, lest you blow loads the size of an elephant, and then men would want to be you and women would want to take facials from you.

If you know you're not getting laid/have small penzorz/or are embarrassed by said erections, I'd suggest rubbing the easy one out before you go to the dance. There's plenty of free pornogaphy on the internet of all kinds for you to concieve some knuckle-children to.