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The Laws Governing Drummers

03-16-2013, 12:19 PM

Drummer Law #1: No matter what happens, It's ALWAYS the drummers' fault.Drummer Law #2: The drummers' song suggestions are never valid.Drummer Law #3: Drummers are expected to help other musicians haul and set up equipment, but must NEVER be given any help with their equipment.Drummer Law #4: No matter how fast anyone else counts off the song, you are required to achieve the correct tempo immediately upon starting to play. (See rule #1)Drummer Law #5: Even though you may have WAY more experience and knowledge, NEVER adjust the PA.Drummer Law #6: No matter how chronicly late any other members of the band may be, you must ALWAYS arrive early.Drummer Law #7: Drummers are required to be hidden from view by lead singers or horn players.Drummer Law #8: The drummer will always be mistaken for banquet staff at any large function.Drummer Law #9: Never EVER should the drummer be allowed to speak to the audience over the PA between songs.Drummer Law #10: If the drummer quits a band because there are few gigs being booked, said band will put 110% into marketing itself with the new drummer, and will become VERY busy.

Good playing can hide a crappy drumset, but even the best drumset can't hide crappy playing.

Have no fear of perfection. You'll never reach it.- Salvador Dali

Some of the best players that I know really can't play the drums well, but they play musicsuperlatively well. - Jim Chapin

Comment

Also, Drummer Law #4 which states that no matter how fast anyone else counts off the song, you are required to achieve the correct tempo immediately upon starting to play, is almost always enforced to include required tempo lock regardless of actual tempo and simultanously groove locked to each band member's individual feel.

#3 and 6 were true for me! I always liked to show up and set up early so that I could warm up or relax before a gig. I mostly liked hauling my own equipment because it was my stuff, but I sure would have loved some help with hauling the stands after I just help tote their amps in! :cathappy:

"As in drug rehab? or derhh, I crashes muh motorcycle rehab??" (Cross Eyed Mary) *** One of the founding members of The Geezer Guild***

Comment

#12 the drummers drums are irelevant. That means you get half the space you need to set up and the guit player gets to put his amp in front of the bass drum. Oh yeah, the drums go in the corner where the standing waves like to hang out.