Jayalalitha to escape to Mars using “Amma Mars Mission” to avoid jail term

Chennai. After rolling out a slew of projects and services under the name ‘Amma’ (like ‘Amma Canteen’, ‘Amma Pharmacy’, ‘Amma Cements’), Tamil Nadu Chief Minister J Jayalalithaa unveiled “Amma Mars Mission” on Saturday immediately after a court convicted her in the disproportionate assets case.

Reports suggest that she may use the mission to escape to Mars and avoid jail term.

The mission’s cost is projected as Rs 4500, which is much less than Mangalyaan’s cost. Keeping with the low cost of other Amma schemes, the price had been fixed such so that even low and middle income families can dream to travel to Mars.

Our sources suggest that Jayalalitha is also planning to form an “Amma state” on Mars with “Amma laws” and “Amma courts”.

“Enough of Earth, time to move on.”

“Instead of using much costlier liquid fluid engine to propel the spacecraft, we have asked Rajinikanth sir to kick our space craft. Infact, we have asked Rajini sir to kick slowly, as we don’t want it to reach Pluto,” said Gopal Murugan, Chief Engineer for the project.

“The spacecraft will also include an old Nokia 6600 phone which acts like a digital camera and sends photos to Amma social networking sites.”

“The total cost is Rs 4500. In which Rs 500 is for spacecraft and other space-travel costs. And remaining Rs 4000 is to bring spacecraft to space station through an auto. You know, auto fares are very high in Chennai,” Mr. Murugan added.

Mr. Murugan rejected reports that Amma Mars mission was designed only to help Amma (Jayalalithaa) escape the jail term. He claimed that the project was conceived and designed by the AIADMK supremo much before the court announced its intentions to deliver the verdict in the 18 years old case.

“28th September was the designated date to launch the spacecraft, nothing to do with the court verdict,” Mr. Murugan told Faking News.

“Scientists wanted to send a spacecraft without a human being, but Amma was very keen on sending a man to space. In fact, she particularly asked me if we can accommodate a 90 years old idiot with black glasses in the first trip, and throw him in outer space,” he claimed.

“However, last night she called me up and said that instead of that idiot, she herself was willing to travel in the spacecraft,” he revealed.

The announcement has received positive response from public. However, DMK leader Rajagopalan claimed that the real reason behind Mars mission was to hide Jayalalithaa’s other black money (which was not caught by the court) on the red planet.

Meanwhile, in Washington USA, NASA had called for an immediate meeting this afternoon to review the costs incurred in their recent Mars mission MAVEN. Reports also suggest that America may shut down NASA completely and planning to outsource all their space research operations to Kumbhakonam, Tamilnadu.

“Indians are driving us crazy. Our Chief fainted in shock when he came to know about cost of Mangalyaan last week. After knowing about this Amma project, he went into coma,” commented a NASA official.