Thursday, March 13, 2008

Even more stupid crap

I'm a pretty easy-going guy, but certain things just bug me. The biggest offenders are stupid things. Here are some more of these things.

Reply-all

I know I'm not the first to complain about this annoying phenomenon, but I have to vent about it because of a certain coworker who never fails to include everyone in their replies to emails even when only the original sender needs the answer.

For example, the original sender might ask "Who needs [television equipment] time to work on something next week?" The correct thing to do would be to respond to the sender - and only the sender - because NO ONE ELSE CARES ABOUT YOUR ANSWER. But no, this person has to hit Reply-All and tell all of us.

There's an even more annoying person who sends their replies to THE ENTIRE DEPARTMENT. Is there a little narcissism in this (thinking that we really give a shit what they need), or is just plain carelessness with a dash of stupidity?

It gets even worse in my company. Someone will send out an announcement about a promotion to a broad mailing list, and someone else will hit Reply-All and not only congratulate the promotee, but also include some inside joke or reference that 99.999% of the people receiving the e-mail DON'T KNOW and DON'T CARE ABOUT.

Example:I'm so happy for you Helmut! Now that you're a supervisor, maybe you can bring the empanadas! ;-)8- Becky

Before hitting reply-all, ask yourself: "Does anyone other than the original sender need to know my answer?" If the answer is yes, go ahead and reply to all. If the answer is no, ask yourself "Am I a complete idiot?" If the answer is no, then DON'T FUCKING HIT REPLY-ALL.

Reply-all...in any language, a stupid, annoying mistake.

"Thoughtful" E-mail Signatures

This is another ridiculous e-mail trend. People seem to think that the people receiving their emails want to read an inspirational quote by Martin Luther King, Maya Angelou or Jim J. Bullock.

People are incorrect. I don't care if you think "All birds learn to fly" or "Everything Gene Kelly did, Ginger Rogers did backwards and in high heels." It's not inspirational, it's annoying and pretentious.

You don't see me adding quotes from Andrew Dice Clay to my emails, do you? Of course not. Personal inspiration is just that: personal. As Gandhi once said: "Keep that stupid shit to yourself."

Finally: Rappers

I don't mean all rappers (though I wouldn't weep if the CEO of Death Row Records were to end up in jail...oh wait). I'm referring to the phenomenon of everyone and their brother, their cousin, and their cronies putting out albums and calling themselves rappers. I admit that I don't follow rap, but who the hell are Chingy, Jeezy, Pitbull, Paul Wall Cassidy, Soulja Boy, and on and on? I have a feeling it started with Master P, who gave record contracts to everybody he could find. Come to think of it, I have no idea what Lil Jon has ever done aside from yelling "Yeaah!" on Chappelle's Show.

It just seems like every time you turn around, there's another crop of no-talent thugs pouring water on ebony behinds while money rains down and low-riders bounce in the background. Up next: Decimul, Frakshun and Kal Kewlis!And there's no way these people can be earning the kind of money they want you to think they are. First time recording artists hardly make diddly squat...but then again, when you've been "featured" on 4000 other rappers' albums, I guess it adds up to enough money to buy a "grill" of "diamonds" from "QVC."