It’s always dangerous when you start taking style cues from Silicon Valley, but we never guessed it would get this bad. Friday’s New York Times contained an improbably timed ode to what they’re claiming is the new talisman of business success: the happy sock.

Never mind that the CEOs they’re trotting out are at least three years behind the curve here, or that the piece is drenched in PR-ready lingo, calling colorful socks “like a secret handshake for those who have arrived, and for those who want to.” (Again, that’s colorful socks they’re describing, not a Mercedes or a Breitling.)

But the real problem is the strange assumption that you’ll be taking style cues from tech CEOs, simply because they’re tech CEOs.