The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Test

3,979,180 offspring

3,979,180 ! Holy shit. You're approaching Mongolian standards, and when you consider today's evolved social moors, you did just about as well as anyone could on this test. To have that many copies of your genetic code running around in just 32 generations is really impressive, and, honestly, kind of fucked up. But I can appreciate it.

You're at the absolute top of the scoring spectrum: you have the right mixture of intelligence, horniness, savvy, and assertiveness to spread your genes like a rock star. As you'll see below, some of your lines will die out, but your genetic material will thrive here on earth for a very, very long time to come.

A close friend of mine created a program to generate family trees for this test. It's based on your unique answers. We accounted for sterility, birth rates, death rates, disease, drug abuse, nitwitism, and accidents and came up with this, for you. Note that (surprise, surprise) you'll have significant offspring with two separate partners; the second of your genetic lines is slighly faded to make the chart easier to read. The second line could represent either a second marriage or, most likely, an affair: