How to Survive in the Modern Day Workplace

Coworker Just Bringing Laptop To Bathroom Now

Reno, NV – Deciding he could do more in the bathroom than simply send emails and take phone calls from his iPhone, Jeff Harrison has begun bringing his work laptop with him while going to the bathroom for stretches that last a minimum of two hours. Despite multiple complaints to H.R., Krissy LeGoff, Vice President of People Operations, stated that Harrison isn’t violating any of their conduct policy rules, though she did say that the extension cord running from his cubicle into the men’s room violated the building’s fire safety code.

When asked for comment, Harrison defended his actions via a Google Hangout from the handicapped stall.

“Back in the day, you used to get ridiculed for pulling out your Blackberry while in the bathroom, and now we’re all in here sending emails while simultaneously promising to never use the fire sauce at Taco Bell again,” Harrison explained. “I can be the visionary that breaks through society’s judgment and works on Excel dashboards while dropping the kids off at the pool.

“I mean, we already spend almost a third of our day in the bathroom anyway, so we might as well be as productive as possible in there.”