I don't have it in me to go and ask for a photo or an old fashioned autograph. I don't want to be not remembered as another giggly face shyly kissing the arse of someone who shits and farts just like the rest of us.

There are some words that only exist in tabloid-speak. 'Blonde' as a noun. 'Bed' as a verb - and it's normally 'a blonde' who is 'bedded', of course. And 'unlucky in love', which is the tabloids' adjective for 'single'. But only if you're a woman.