The Definitive Guide to New Orleans' Best Strip Clubs

New Orleans has been known for its bawdy acts since the days of Blaze Starr, but in the past few years, a series of scandals have closed clubs and forced our lawmakers to ban opening new venues. The good news is that there are still plenty of places to let the bon temps rouler in our fair city -- on Bourbon and beyond. Here’s our list of the finest gentleman’s clubs the city has to offer.

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Best overall

Penthouse Club

Business District

The Penthouse Club has long been the king (queen?) of the New Orleans strip club scene. Known for having the most beautiful dancers in town, the space itself is downright opulent, with two floors and three bars -- all brightly lit, so you can see the club is something straight out of Scorsese’s Las Vegas, right down to the "Executive Suite" and neon-lit Penthouse Suites overlooking the main stage. Covers are a fairly reasonable $12, and dances will run you around $40. However, beware the upsell; everyone from dancers to servers is looking to keep the chandeliers on in such an impressive setup. It’s certainly your classiest option for a New Orleans bachelor party, with VIP packages starting at $350.

Best club in the Quarter

Rick's Cabaret

French Quarter

Rick's Cabaret has that intoxicating balance of gentility and sleaze that New Orleans is known for; it’s also one of the most massive structures in the Quarter, at 18,000ft, with two floors and two main stages open to all guests... plus VIP and Champagne rooms. Rick’s is the club of choice for most NOLA dancers, as it’s the go-to club for visiting businessmen, and while the cover is just $10, the lap dances will seriously cost you: at $60, they’re the most expensive in the city. However, with a town full of dancers clamoring for a chance to dance at Rick's, you won’t be disappointed.

Best place to watch something other than dancers

Rick’s Sporting Saloon

French Quarter

If you’re torn between watching the game and watching the talent, look no further. It has big screens near the main stage showing games of all kinds, and even a bar away from the stage for sports fans who don’t want any distractions.

Best Bourbon Street bachelor party

Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club/Barely Legal

French Quarter

If your boys aren’t up for the price tags on the Penthouse bachelor party packs, or simply don’t want to leave the Quarter, Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club offers bottle service for eight for just $400. Plus, the club is known for having some of the best pole dancers in the city, and the 40ft stripper pole at the Hustler Club is the perfect place for them to showcase their talents. Reservations are a must, since both clubs are standing room only on weekends during peak season.

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Best Quarter club for the weekend

Déjà Vu

French Quarter

Yet another club owned by the group that owns the Hustler Club and Barely Legal, but this one is generally less crowded than the giant stripper-plex that is the Hustler Club. Prices are the same, but on weekends, it’s generally not standing room only. It’s also a great club for quirkier acts like the Voodoo Burlesque show, if you’re bored of traditional clubs, or you’re hanging with hipster-y friends.

Where the locals go

Visions

New Orleans East

With free parking, cheap(er) drinks, and the benefit of being away from the vomiting tourists on Bourbon Street, New Orleans locals looking for a night at the strip club generally opt for this more out-of-the-way venue. Dances also run around $20, which is half the typical price of those in the Quarter.

Best no-cover club

Scores

French Quarter

Listen, no one’s going to pretend that Scores Mansion is the nicest club in NOLA, or even the nicest club on Bourbon Street. In fact, it’s one of the clubs that lost its liquor license in the recent strip club sting. But Scores has one thing going for it: no cover charge, even at night. So if you’re just a French Quarter looky-loo, or are trying to get your club on for a bargain, you could do worse.

Best of the suburbs

Club Eden

Metairie

OK, so this club will take you out to the suburbs, and local bylaws mandate that the dancers wear pasties. That said, strip club aficionados and locals alike swear by the laid-back attitude at the club (no waitresses hounding you to order more drinks) and the general friendliness of the talent.

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Fran Fleming once watched a very sexy situation go down in one of the clubs on this list, but she'll never tell which one... mostly because she was too blotto to remember.