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What ever for, we don't need an Ignore button I find it interesting when everyone one needs to work out their shit on each other, heck this is better then "One Life to live" "General Hospital" or that UK one called'EastEnders"

Watch soap opera for entertaining high drama, play a rough contact sport, or any sport, or at least get plowed regularly, and work out your shit with a therapist, body work, and introspection.

Its human to workout stuff "with" each other but its not productive to do it "on" each other - though it certainly is human too. See the distinction?

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“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

since one of my standard quotes is "google is my friend" and since everyone seemed to not be able to work the search function here, I provided a link. All one had to do was search for "backdoor sex" and there was only one post. It seemed everyone was ready to bash Skeebo, but no one wanted to do the legwork to even find out what he was talking about.

and yes, I still think a lot of newer members tend to get jumped on when they "mis-speak" about something in the first part of their tenure here. So someone is looking for a "blessing in disguise" or a "positive positive thread", is that really a reason to rip into them? Or is that an opening for a teaching moment? God knows, just like this thread, it's all about the underlying ability to have a positive attitude to be able to emotionally and mentally deal with being HIV positive. So finally after several failed and locked threads, it was turning into a teachable moment. (well it was trying to be a teachable moment before going off the rails several times now. sigh)

as for having the spat with Jan, just like she asked about me stepping in for Skeebo, don't you think she's a big girl and should be able to handle her own battles? Why are you or the others, who have not contributed previously in this thread, stepping in now, just to fight with another member? Pot meet the Kettle. I get so tired of one of you (mainly Matty, Dach, Jan or Betty) starting some flame war with me and then the rest of you bullies jumping into the fight. I know you fucking hate me and I hate y'all too. What just kills me and show what bullies y'all are is that I never start any of this shit. One of you is always the first to comment to me and then the others follow.

Yes, take a long look through the posting histories and then a long look in your own mirror. It is always one of y'all that starts this shit. I have followed Ann and Tim's advice to me and I never even make "nice" comments in the threads y'all start or are involved in. The only time I ever have any interaction with y'all is once y'all start something.

Personally, I have just as many rights as y'all to believe what I what about what happens around here and that doesn't make any of us wrong. It just means that you have your opinions and I have mine. I believe, and so do others, that there are bullies here and newer members are often mistreated. I just don't understand why I can withhold comment on the shit that y'all spew out sometimes and give you the right to your comments and experiences, but y'all will not afford me those same rights.fuck I don't need to work out any shit with anyone. I've had AIDS for 20 yrs and I'm working my ass off at my ASO doing prevention and education to try to keep others from going down this same path. I actually deal with the newer diagnosed people and understand when they are looking for the light at the end of the tunnel that's going to get them through the next 20 years. I don't need my friends here to jump in like a gang and bully others whom I don't agree with because we know how fucking rude, un-supportive, and hateful that is.

I am also going to ask you, to take your quarrel somewhere else. My thread is not the place for this and if you feel this strongly about these issues, may I suggest you start your own thread.

I am also going to ask you, to take your quarrel somewhere else. My thread is not the place for this and if you feel this strongly about these issues, may I suggest you start your own thread.

if you had bothered to read my post you would have seen how Dach, Matty, Jan and BT brought this derailment to your thread. (Notice how Dach twisted to the situation to insinuate that there was a quarrel between yourself and me.) If you would add your weight to mine and ask THEM to stop instigating attacks against ME in public, then I would not have to respond in public. I did not instigate this derailment and you are quite incorrect in suggesting that any of this is my fault. I was attacked in this thread by others, and if anything you should be asking EVERYONE to stop. I personally have no thread to start, as this quarrel is NOT of my doing.

Actually L-Man, in reviewing this thread in it's entirety, it is very clearly Skeebs who derailed it. The others, including myself jumped in at a later time.

agreed. however the derailment into issues involving me (that I called "this derailment") and several antagonists was started by others - please see reply 57 and 78. Dach mentioned a "meme" and Jan mentioned a "cabal" - both which clearly instigated the thread going off onto this tangent/derailment.

if you had bothered to read my post you would have seen how Dach, Matty, Jan and BT brought this derailment to your thread. (Notice how Dach twisted to the situation to insinuate that there was a quarrel between yourself and me.) If you would add your weight to mine and ask THEM to stop instigating attacks against ME in public, then I would not have to respond in public. I did not instigate this derailment and you are quite incorrect in suggesting that any of this is my fault. I was attacked in this thread by others, and if anything you should be asking EVERYONE to stop. I personally have no thread to start, as this quarrel is NOT of my doing.

Please re-read my last comment to you. I ascribed blame to nobody, nor did I make any comment on the substance of your thread. I simply suggested that you take your issues to another thread. There has already been a lot of unnecessary bad blood in this thread and I am trying to stop it from heading south again.

if you had bothered to read my post you would have seen how Dach, Matty, Jan and BT brought this derailment to your thread. (Notice how Dach twisted to the situation to insinuate that there was a quarrel between yourself and me.) If you would add your weight to mine and ask THEM to stop instigating attacks against ME in public, then I would not have to respond in public. I did not instigate this derailment and you are quite incorrect in suggesting that any of this is my fault. I was attacked in this thread by others, and if anything you should be asking EVERYONE to stop. I personally have no thread to start, as this quarrel is NOT of my doing.

You're just so full of shit, so little girl grade school. A whining perpetual victim.

I ascribed blame to nobody, nor did I make any comment on the substance of your thread. I simply suggested that you take your issues to another thread.

by asking me rather than the instigators to take this "issue" to another thread you imply that I am to blame. I have no "issue" except that I was responding to being attacked by other members. Your proper response as OP would have been to ask the instigators/attackers to take their issues elsewhere.

Watch soap opera for entertaining high drama, play a rough contact sport, or any sport, or at least get plowed regularly, and work out your shit with a therapist, body work, and introspection.

Its human to workout stuff "with" each other but its not productive to do it "on" each other - though it certainly is human too. See the distinction?

Hey Mecch people push each others buttons all the time, that's the way we all inter react with each othersometime it's pleasant, and sometimes NOT, however this is Joe's Thread he can do with it whatever he feels necessary, and keeping it on topic isn't a bad thing

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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

yes. If you would only quit being a bully and leave me the hell alone, as I leave you and your comments alone, I would not be a victim of your attacks.

Actually leather you're worse than a bully. You're a coward. You use other people's threads to launch thinly veiled passive-aggressive attacks. You use nasty PM's to attack forum members you don't like. Victim, no. Coward, yes.

by asking me rather than the instigators to take this "issue" to another thread you imply that I am to blame. I have no "issue" except that I was responding to being attacked by other members. Your proper response as OP would have been to ask the instigators/attackers to take their issues elsewhere.

Will you please get a grip. This post is not about you, period. I don't come into your posts and start spreading shit far and wide, so why do you think it is fine for you to do that to me? I am so tired of your passive-aggressive posts, always playing the victim and insisting that others fight your battles. I do not tell other posters what to do, especially when I agree with them.

Ever since October 6, 2010, when we had ONE disagreement, you have repeated claimed that you and I have a problem with each other. News Flash, it is not me who has the problem. I apologized for my mis-spoken comment repeatedly FIVE MONTHS AGO, but you keep bringing it up. Why is that? Please explain it to me, so I can understand. I ask you to stop shitting all over my thread and all you can do is to make it all about you. Like I said, you want personal adoration, then start your own fucking thread.

Actually leather you're worse than a bully. You're a coward. You use other people's threads to launch thinly veiled passive-aggressive attacks. You use nasty PM's to attack forum members you don't like. Victim, no. Coward, yes.

once again I say, I totally understand that you do not like me. In return, I definitely do not like you either. And I really don't understand why you (or Jan with her opinion of me) even bothers to have any interaction with me at all. I clearly never start any interactions between myself and y'all. If y'all would leave me alone, I wouldn't have any reason to state my opinions about you in public or private. You use other people's thread to launch your attacks against me. I do no such thing.

Please explain it to me, so I can understand. I ask you to stop shitting all over my thread and all you can do is to make it all about you. Like I said, you want personal adoration, then start your own fucking thread.

I simply want a few other members to leave me alone. Is that too much to ask? If Jan or Dach had never posted any attacks on me, this "shitting on your thread" would have never happened.

Ever since October 6, 2010, when we had ONE disagreement, you have repeated claimed that you and I have a problem with each other. News Flash, it is not me who has the problem. I apologized for my mis-spoken comment repeatedly FIVE MONTHS AGO, but you keep bringing it up. Why is that?

I didn't bring that up, you just did. Dach was the one trying to start something between you and I and he succeeded in getting you to comment on an issue that you and I have put in the past. Or so I thought. LOL Obviously, even though I never mentioned that here at all, you read that into my comments. Don't fall for his tricks Joe.

I simply want a few other members to leave me alone. Is that too much to ask? If Jan or Dach had never posted any attacks on me, this "shitting on your thread" would have never happened. I didn't bring that up, you just did. Dach was the one trying to start something between you and I and he succeeded in getting you to comment on an issue that you and I have put in the past. Or so I thought. LOL Obviously, even though I never mentioned that here at all, you read that into my comments. Don't fall for his tricks Joe.

No tricks Mary. Try as you might to deflect, dear. No one's buying it.

how in the world does Jan and I having a spat have anything to do with Joe? Joe hasn't made one comment towards me and I haven't made one negative comment towards him or anything he said. He and I have had disagreements in the past and have chosen to not engage one another so there wouldn't be any further disputes.

You did mention this first and you have been making comments like these for months. You never miss an opportunity to tell everyone how disagreeable I am and how I hurt you and you really need to grow up. Start acting like an adult.

edited to add: Please save the bandwidth and don't reply as there is nothing more you can add. Maybe it's time to lock this one down, before the shit gets any deeper.

No tricks Mary. Try as you might to deflect, dear. No one's buying it.

Hey Mike, why on earth are you so worried about who likes you in AIDS Forum, I'm confused as to why this brothers you so much, please enlighten us all, as I don't seem to understand why that is so important to you? I for one don't give a shit about who likes me, I have better things to do w/ my time

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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

what a lie! please show links to prove that one. I only mentioned that we had a disagreement, I did not speak of what that disagreement was.

but let's see how unfair your sentiments are? It's ok for Jan and Dach to bring up things from the past when they believed I wronged them or others but it wouldn't be okay for me to do something similar? It's okay for them to derail your thread with attacks on me; but it's not ok for me to respond. Clearly you hold one standard for some and another standard for other people.

Hey Mike, why on earth are you so worried about who likes you in AIDS Forum, I'm confused as to why this brothers you so much, please enlighten us all, as I don't seem to understand why that is so important to you?

Because one can either stand up to a bully or back down. A few members here frequently try to bully me and claim that my opinions and/or experiences are not valid. While plenty of others take one way out by ignoring this and moving on, every once in a while when these people attack me, I stand up for my rights and my opinions. Just because others don't think there's bullying and hatefulness in these forums (even Jan admits the support is waning) doesn't mean it isn't here and that it isn't happening. Actually the ones who shout the loudest that there isn't bullying and that others are simply playing victim are quite frankly the very bullies destroying the supportive nature of these forums. New members are frequently run off, older members sit quietly behind the scenes rarely interacting, and hatefulness abounds as thread after thread gets locked down.

Mikie, since I am the reason you posted in Joe's thread may I ask you to stop? If you want to continue this arguement, which has nothing to do with me, can you start your own thread about it? I think it would be best, especially if this is something that bothers you.

what a lie! please show links to prove that one. I only mentioned that we had a disagreement, I did not speak of what that disagreement was.

but let's see how unfair your sentiments are? It's ok for Jan and Dach to bring up things from the past when they believed I wronged them or others but it wouldn't be okay for me to do something similar? It's okay for them to derail your thread with attacks on me; but it's not ok for me to respond. Clearly you hold one standard for some and another standard for other people.Because one can either stand up to a bully or back down. A few members here frequently try to bully me and claim that my opinions and/or experiences are not valid. While plenty of others take one way out by ignoring this and moving on, every once in a while when these people attack me, I stand up for my rights and my opinions. Just because others don't think there's bullying and hatefulness in these forums (even Jan admits the support is waning) doesn't mean it isn't here and that it isn't happening. Actually the ones who shout the loudest that there isn't bullying and that others are simply playing victim are quite frankly the very bullies destroying the supportive nature of these forums. New members are frequently run off, older members sit quietly behind the scenes rarely interacting, and hatefulness abounds as thread after thread gets locked down.

Just stop with your incessant whining. As I said, if this is such an issue for you, take it to your own thread. You have now crossed over and you are FLAMING this thread and I am asking you to stop. I will not ask again, rather I will report you for abusive behavior. Do not test me on this.

Sorry Den but you are incorrect and Skeebo is right. Others made this thread about me and my opinions. They didn't like my opinions and made personal attacks on me.I wasn't bothered until I got attacked in this thread and why should I start up another thread to counter the attacks that I received in this thread?

Well maybe you should take everyone's advice and STOP, as Tomas has kindly ask you too...this is still joe's thread and not yours dear

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"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

I am requesting that this thread be locked. It has denigrated into a childish display and serves no further useful purpose.

Gladly, Joe. I was just writing the above post when you posted before me. I've been sitting on my hands over it and nearly locked it yesterday. Then Skeebo apologised and I hoped that would be an end of it but no, some people just cannot let things go.

Joe, I appreciate your original intentions. I hope this trainwreck does not dissuade you from more threads like this in future - and I promise I'll be more pro-active if anyone starts any similar crap. I'm sorry I didn't do it earlier here, but one lives in hope that adults might act like adults. Guess it's pie-in-the-sky.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts