FENCING JUST GOT LAME

Height-challenged Scientologist Tom Cruise bolsters his flagging movie career and creepy Stockholm syndrome marriage by befriending other famous rich people, then participating in the kinds of activities that are usually reserved for the eccentric billionaire villain in Bond movies. Example: Cruise hangs with pals Will Smith and David Beckham while fencing.

Smith said, “Tom has a room for training. We don't get enough time to hang out, just us three guys, so this is his way of getting together and bonding. David and I go to his home and just do fencing. It's a lot of fun."

"We wanted an activity that was strenuous, but we're getting older – we have to think about slowing down. We've got to watch our joints," he added.

The fencing training room is easy find. Turn left after you come into the foyer, enter the study, pull the candlestick hanging on the wall to reveal the hidden staircase, go straight past Katie's cell and the sacrificial altar, and turn right at the vat of sulfuric acid filled with the bones of inquisitive reporters. If you get to the Doomsday Device, you've gone too far.

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I know what the Fresh Prince means, weed is getting expensive so you really have to roll pinners these days!

By: UpstateUnderdog

06.23.2008 @ 2:43 PM

God these guys are douchebags. How about drinking beer and watching football if you want to bond. Maybe golf?

By: Enrico Pallazzo

06.23.2008 @ 2:45 PM

I thought that all black guys carried guns, not swords.

By: Jim Jones

06.23.2008 @ 2:49 PM

Wow. That's so random. It's like the start of a joke.

A black guy, a scientologist, and a Brit are fencing together.

By: WhyDoYouAsk

06.23.2008 @ 2:50 PM

"Let's play foil instead of sabre today!"

"Okay, but only if I get to be Porthos!"

There isn't a gay enough word to desribe this story. Pillow-bitastic? Not gay enough.

By: UpstateUnderdog

06.23.2008 @ 2:51 PM

A black guy, a midget, and a Brit are fencing together.

/fixed

//all 3 are Scientologists

By: Punch Rockgroin

06.23.2008 @ 2:52 PM

It's all fun and games until someone puts an eye out.

By: rv

06.23.2008 @ 2:52 PM

THE THREE FAGGOTEERS!!!

By: doogieinrichmond

06.23.2008 @ 2:53 PM

go straight past Katie's cell and the sacrificial altar

Fucking Tom Cruise! I let him use my place one time, one fucking time, and he steals my interior design! Than he goes and ruins it by making a "meat fencing" room for him and his boyfriends. What a douchebag.

By: Tim

06.23.2008 @ 3:00 PM

You spelled FELCHING wrong.

By: Smello Redux

06.23.2008 @ 3:08 PM

"Just got lame" Really? Just?

By: montrealais

06.23.2008 @ 3:27 PM

Was there a moment in history when fencing was awesome that I missed? Btw, I don't think you can go any gayer than 3 mens trying to touch each other with sticks.

By: Pauly

06.23.2008 @ 4:10 PM

He he, touching swords.

By: Angel Eyes Van Cleef

06.23.2008 @ 8:24 PM

Maybe they're in training for the day they run across the man with the six fingers on his right hand, or they might just be weird.