Pages

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

The Overlord Speaks: Dealing with the anti-hero in your team

The Overlord is currently based out of Lobotomy Fortress - an underground
base where he is plotting his conquest of the universe. With extensive years in
corporate management and world domination strategy, he has decided to share his
insights with the mere mortals who read rags such as this.There is a lot of waiting when you are taking over the world. Aggressive
negotiations, hostile mergers, vigilante assassinations...a lot of the
day-to-day stuff simply isn't ground for the future ruler of the world, as I'm
sure you can imagine. Well, you probably can't, because you're slime compared
to my grandeur.

While my minions and thugs are off taking care of business, I find
myself with a lot of time on my bone-crushing hands. As The Overlord, I have
efficiency down to a fine art - so what better way to ease you all into your
impending doom than to spread some of my wisdom? Hey, some of you might be
aspiring super villains, and with a bit of luck (and me not trying to kill you)
maybe my highly trained death squad and I might be patching you over (or killing
you anyway) sometime soon! But you are probably weak and plastic, so I wouldn’t
get your hopes up (don’t get them up anyway, hope is for heroes, maggot).

Now that your puny, blog-reading mind has wrapped itself around what I am
doing here we can get on with today's lesson: Dealing with anti-heroes.

Now, when recruiting your minions, you are going to have a few different
classes: there are the low level guys, who often go with your gimmick and are
basically a way to distract any meddling heroes while the higher-ups do the
real work, you've got the mini-bosses - who are a bit tougher than the thugs,
but never amounted to much, and finally you’ve got what I call the generals.

These guys are generally more entrepreneurial: they've got their own
passions and their own bend – probably their own outfits, too - but for
whatever reason they would rather follow your plan of domination and
destruction than cut their own. Why? Parents probably didn't beat them enough
or something.

Most of the guys and girls you find in this area are psychotic murderers,
but every now and then you'll stumble upon someone a bit more...idealistic.
They are probably the half-brother of a superhero, or maybe they made a deal
with the devil, or their dog died or something. Either way, these guys are ones
you really need to watch out for.

As every super villain worth their salt (so not you, worm) knows, an
aspiring, passionate worker can be good in the short term: they are more likely
to take that extra bullet to the shoulder for you, mess with the hostages a bit
more - they might even off any other survivors at the end of a mission to
increase their earnings (and your bottom-line!). These guys love what they do,
and that's great.

What isn't so great is what we in the super villain business call the
'spin-off'.

See, the anti-hero is doing what they are doing for a reason other than lust
of power or psychosis. They have a vendetta, and while they may be on your side
for now, sooner or later they’ll probably figure out they can get what they
want without all the killing and marauding. And when that happens? Well, do you
really want the latest Venom, Deadpool, Spawn or Glenn Danzig to have insider
knowledge on how you operate? Let me tell you from experience, you definitely
don't want that last one happening...

So, what is the best way of dealing with the brooding, husky-voiced,
introspective soul in your outfit? Well, look, to be real - you probably should
just avoid them. But goddamn, their gimmicks are often so much better, their
powers are cooler, and as I said before - they are really passionate about
their work!

So, really the best thing to do is keep them away from a few key triggers
that are likely to turn them into heroes. In my experience as The Overlord,
I've whittled it down to three primary drivers:

The bigger evilsLuckily for me, there are no bigger evils than The Overlord. I reign
supreme in terms of horrendous, soul-crushing deeds. If you are working for me,
it stands to reason you aren’t likely to meet someone who really pushes your
moral boundaries.

However, I understand that you readers are most likely more small-time than
a Wedding band, and probably about as evil as Aunt May's wheat cakes. Any
potential anti-heroes in your team are likely to someday come across something
that makes them (and you) look tame. Alien invasion, cyber-zombie-torture-cult,
infomercial producers...there's a lot of pretty evil stuff that goes on out
there.

This is generally a turning point for an anti-hero, because they realise
things are bigger than them and their end-goals. Taking on a bigger evil force
might give them a taste for justice, and a realisation they can do good in the
world. Which is terrible!

This one can be a hard one to handle, but the best thing to do is only send
them out to take on good guys - save your psychopaths for killing rival
villains and other carnage-causers. Not only will this limit their chances to
revolt, but hopefully with all the good-guy-killing they'll feel guilty, which
will decrease motivation and ramp up self-loathing. Everyone wins. And by
everyone, I mean The Overlord. (I always win).

No pep talks with heroesHere's another big one. The problem is, despite methods, these guys have a
lot more in common with heroes than your average super villain.

Hell, the origin stories are generally the same: someone died (or everyone
died), they led an average life before a nuclear reactor exploded...that kind
of stuff. If you let your anti-heroes fight the good guys enough, they are
likely to get chatting. Then the hero gets all pragmatic and turns into a youth
group leader, preaching about turning your life around, fighting for justice and
all that rubbish.

If your guy says yes? No problem! Chances are they are going to go
undercover: they’ll tag along with the superhero, bust some crooks and then
tear out their spine over the post-heist kebab. Sometimes your staff will
surprise you, after all.

What you have to watch out for is if your anti-hero says something along the
lines of "No...that is not the path for me," and disappears into the
shadows. Why? Cause that's their MO! That means they are thinking about
it. I bet they did something similar when you recruited them, huh? Anti-heroes
are conflicted guys and girls, so it makes sense for them to act like this
(with weakness).

More importantly, keep family out of the picture. Anti-heroes are prone to
have some annoying twin brother or childhood friend running around doing good
deeds. If you absolutely must have them go up against each other, just be sure
to remind your anti-hero about all the bad things their estranged relative did back
in the day - toy breaking, getting better superpowers, not helping them kill
their parents, that kind of stuff.

NO PRAISE EVERAs any super villain (or middle manager) worth their salt knows,
motivation kills productivity. You really think your staff should be given a ‘Go
team!’ talk before they go out and blow up a nursing home? Of course not! That
will only give them ideas of grandeur, and that goes for all rank-and-file
henchmen. Enough motivation and even your more psychotic troops might start thinking
they aren't so bad.

Summed up, the last thing you want any of your troops to think is that there
is even a shred of decency in them.

Be sure to reinforce the three "S"s every chance you get:
Self-loathing, self-doubt and self-destruction and you’ll keep your anti-heroes
where they belong – beneath you.

Got a question for The Overlord? Of course you do, maggot. Send your queries
about world domination to the plebs who run this pathetic waste of bandwidth at
absolutepoweraus@gmail.com and I'll share with you some of my wisdom (or
destroy you, one or the other).