This blog is an authentic display of how my mind works. And how I think.

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Sunday, July 20, 2008

Alive but not kicking.

My left ankle is 3 months pregnant. Conceived on Thursday, July 17, 2008. While I was running for a train.

The time was 7:10 am. I had all the time in the world to take a leisurely tour of Malad station, talk about the weather with the paanwalla outside, and also count how many bikes and cycles are parked outside the station; and after all this, I would still have managed to reach office by 8.00 am. Yes? No.

There! The train is come, I better run for it. My brain (or the lack of one) decided that 7:10 am is too late and Andheri is 1000 kms away and there is no way I can possibly reach office by 8:00 am. No sir. Jogging across the bridge, scampering slowly down the stairs (have vowed not run down the stairs after a very nasty fall down the stairs at Bandra station)…the train is on the platform now…make a run for it…RUN!!!

Run I did. A little sprint….train has stopped now…you are almost there Anita…stupid women in my way…do a Neo-Matrix thing and dodge them….swish swoosh… cannot miss the train…RUN….uh oh…losing my balance now…regain it immediately… ….OUCH!!! Dear LORD of the heavens, MY LEG!!! But thank God, I am in the train!!! I won’t be late for work now. Victory at last! Everyone is applauding me…Yay.

I spotted an empty seat and sank down…and then realised that my left foot is sending very painful signals to my stupid brain. I wanted to cry out in frustration and pain…but I couldn’t. Public place you see. According to my intelligence-defying logic, you may have an arrow sticking out of your chest, but if you want to sit down, you should always smile and say, “Excuse me, is that seat taken?”

I clutched my foot and noticed a very big swelling forming on my left ankle. I couldn’t keep my leg down on the floor and for a good half hour, I was completely numb (aside from the foot, of course. That pained like a bitch). The pain was unbearable and I thought I was maimed for life. Goregoan went by. Jogeshwari is on its way now. I tried to think and decide my point of action.

I debated fiercely in my head. Should I go home? Should I go to work and then tell someone to drop me home? Maybe I should go to Churchgate and then back to Borivali and back and forth between Churchgate and Borivali till I was sure that I could get up and make a move. The last idea seemed like the most humane thing to do at that point of time. I could sit and never get up. Such a relief.

As this insane idea swam about, agreeing with all the dead cells in the junk of a brain in my head, the train was in the process of leaving Jogeshwari station. And that fact suddenly came to my attention. I could have gotten down here and waited on the same platform for my next train! I wouldn’t have to climb any bridges or stairs (which at that time was equivalent to climbing Mount Everest) to get my Borivali train! Goddamit! Great ideas make a conscious effort to avoid me—and spring up only at the last moment. Always.

The lovely idea of sitting in the same train and making countless rounds of Churchgate and Borivali, didn’t seem lovely anymore. Someone might report me to the railway officials as a terrorist with a swollen leg, who has been in the same train since three days. No, that won’t do.

I thought of getting down at Andheri and hopping to work and asking someone to drop me home. I told you, I don’t have a brain. Andheri was almost 2 minutes away. I had to get up now. Considering my speed of walking, I thought the train will reach Churchgate by the time I reach the door. But thankfully, I alighted at Andheri. Yay. Another victory (?!)

By now, my entire left leg was in sheer pain, as my nerves screamed for relief. I decided to go to work. I walked towards the stairs and looked up. Suddenly, Mount Everest loomed in front of my eyes. There lay the huge staircase in front of me. How am I ever to climb that without falling down and breaking some more bones? And then it dawned on me that if I can’t climb a few stairs, then maybe going to the office was not such a good idea after all. Yay! My brain DOES work on few rare occasions!

I climbed the stairs, went across the bridge, climbed down the stairs and limped to the platform. Did this in 20 minutes. On a good day, I would be in the train in 5 minutes. THREE trains came and left by the time I reached the platform. After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally in the train. Going home. The only good part of this cursed morning.

And here I am, back at work. Had to sit or lay on my ass for FOUR whole days. Just sit and count flies. But at least, I was at HOME. Maybe I should run some more on the platforms…..