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Friday, May 22, 2015

Another year of teacher Kindergarten has (almost) passed. This year as I heard my students say hilarious things, I wrote them down. Here are my favorit of the year's worth of Kindergarten quotes from my class. (I'm putting some of my favorites in bold.

He was going to say a nice word, but instead he said asshole.

(I also had a lot of really foul mouthed students this year. But they're 5 so it made it funny)

What
happens if you mix blue science and purple science?

You
owe me 50 and sexy cents

Teacher,
somebody farted on this book

Thank
you for the yummy crackers that are going into my intestines

I
have two dads. One with no hair and one with YES! Hair!

During
science I was holding containers of different color liquids.
Students were making hypothesis of what they were first by the color, then
smell. We held up a container with yellow lemon juice and asked, “What could be
in this container?” one student replied, “Maybe it’s moose pee!”

(angrily)
I hope you’re happy! Santa is watching you!

Why
did you throw that away? –Mrs. Deklerk

Because
my brain said so.

You
really have such a gentle voice.

One
time, I ate a quarter. But don’t worry, I pooped it out!

I’m
allergic to peanuts, but only on Fridays.

What
is bullying?

Trying to knock over pins with a ball.

Spiders
are nice, except the mean ones.

Teacher
is dancing… EW!

When
you turn 13 you’re a teenager and then you get braces.

Mrs.
D. why did you where that shirt today?

Because I wanted to.

Well you look like
a zebra.

I
don’t want to go to first grade because then my teeth will fall out.

Bye
trevor from another mother!

We
are a team! Can we PLEASE work together!?

The
day after the lesson on Martin Luther King Jr. students were not saying nice
things to each other. One student stepped in. “Love makes more love. Hate makes
more hate. Hate gets rid of love and love gets rid of hate. So we just need to
be nice to each other.”

Mrs.
D. They aren’t playing nice. I don’t think Martin Luther King would have liked
that.

You’re
in love with her because you like her snack so much.

One,
two, three, four, hug your teacher on the floor!

Why did you do that?

“Well my brain said so and I just forgot to say no.”

“I
can blow my balloon up now because I’m 6.” –Student 1 (on her 6th
birthday)

“I must be 6 too then because I can blow mine up too!” –student 2

“My
balloon farted.”

“Raise
your hand if this is the best day you’ve ever had!”

Mr.
Merrell man is on our pictures too!

“Do
we have any more juice?”

No it’s all gone.

“You must have gotten crazy this
weekend and drank it all!”

He’s
sucking on the chair leg!

“How
do I write Y? Where is Y in my mind? Ahh come out Y, come out!”

“The
snow is boiling cold!”

“Caydn
is Russian like me! He told me in the cafeteria!”

“My
birthday is in 11 years!”

Can we say dang it instead?

“Well… my mom taught me to say damn it.”

“Teacher,
you are the smartesterest!”

“I
feel like I’m about to fart. (grunting) Ah done.”

“My
mom was a zombie, but she didn’t eat me.”

“Here I can help you.”

“Okay Caitlin smarty pants.” Caydn

“Can
I fart in your face real quick?”

After
she got upset and walked over to the corner, “What’s up?”

“I’m okay, I
just need a minute to cool my jets.”

Me:“Will
you grab that for me?”

“Yes your majesty”

He said stupid!

“it’s an okay word for a 6 year old.”

“I
CAN CARRY EVERYTHING! …except teachers.”

(Holding
up his paper with his name written on it) “Look teacher, I wrote it in
Spanish!”

“Mrs. D. Can
I please go sit over there? I CANNOT sit by a Broncos fan!”

“Sometimes
I just feel like I want to kiss you!”

“You
smell yummy. Like a dishwasher.”

“I
love this school! I love it I love it I love it, because we can do anything
here… and I love the learning.”

The Family

About Us

Married on August 18, 2012.
We are now second-time homeowners and renovators. We love to travel. I graduated from Utah State University with a BS degree in 2011 and the University of Utah with an M.Ed. Jake graduated from Weber State University in 2014 and from WGU with his MBA which has come in very handy while running his company, Wholesale Office Furniture. I teach 2nd grade and we are both small business owners.