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Monday, January 26, 2009

Monday, January 26, 2009

Superheroes have it rough, too. I mean, there's the tights, the endless amount of bullets ricocheting off their rock-hard pectoral muscles, and of course all the women throwing themselves in their paths. (Obviously I'm talking about guy superheroes here, but if you'd prefer to think of Wonder Woman with rock-hard pectoral muscles, more power to ya.)

What, that doesn't sound so bad? Then allow me to introduce a new Wreck series: Caped Catastrophes. Today's first lucky victim? The Bat Man himself.

Here Bat Boy rides out of a plastic drain-pipe on a magma slick in glorious celebration of "Brian Day". Um, are those things on the side supposed to be bats, Clarissa D.?

I agree that the door in the brick wall is a little odd, Ashley W., but what I really want to know is how the Batmobile can leave a cloud of snow-white exhaust shaped like a hibiscus flower. These Bat gadgets - they just get cooler every year, don't they?

Fortunately Judith C. reports that 'man and 'mobile appear to have made up here:

"Blasted Baked Balls of Blue! I can't...quite...reach you!"

Christal W. found the best toy-to-cake ratio out there:

I'm not sure if "River" is the birthday person's name, or if - in the tradition of Wreckerators everywhere - the decorator just labeled the cake what it's supposed to look like. If that's the case, then s/he must have meant "cascading river of blood, cement, and mold". But, you know, that probably wouldn't have fit.

([sigh] Again, yes, it's "professional". I checked the site and everything. C'mon, a little credit here?)

Now remember, kids: crime doesn't pay. Right, Batman?

But you know, all these cakes are totally cheating: they each use plastic Batman figurines! Why aren't decorators actually drawing the caped crusader?

Oh. That's why. Thanks, Nicc.

[shifty eyes] Um, and can I just say that that's an unfortunately appropriate placement of the "pp"?

Aaaand I'm done.

Have a superhero Wreck you've been meaning to send me? Then send it in soon; I'll be continuing the Caped Catastrophes theme over the next few weeks.

Ah! I saw one almost identical to cake #1 in my local Safeway, but my phone's battery was dead so I didn't manage a picture! Good to know that there are better, more fearless Wreckporters than I... that thing deserves to be seen!

May I point out that in the UK 'batty boy' is homophobic slang for a gay guy, so its use to describe the caped crusader was quite a shock to me until realised you probably didn't know that.There you learn something new every day.

i ACTUALLY ordered cake #1 for my dad ( biggest batman fan i know) BUT thinking of CakeWrecks i pretty much asked for everything different. hahah. I asked for No blue or Black icing and instead went with a white/ slight grey. The though of eternally blue intestines made me sick. and the magma was out too. it actually came out to be a good looking cake. if you change everything!

also. I was so excited...Batman is my absolute favorite superhero! I mean i'll admit I'm one of those women throwing themselves in his path when i see those tights and bullets ricocheting off their rock-hard pectoral muscles.

Am I the only idiot who can't figure out what a "pp" is? I mean, I'm expecting something phallic, but I can't for the life of me find what it could be on the cake... You'd think I would know these things after reading this blog EVERY SINGLE DAY....wv: things. Just... things.

I was scrolling down through the photos and thinking 'gosh, I couldn't eat any cake with that much lurid blue icing on it', and then I came to River's cake: the cake that looks like slurry. Suddenly, lurid blue icing looked strangely appetising by comparison!

Well, of COURSE Wonder Woman has rock-hard pectoral muscles. Female superheroes need them too. The muscles just aren't as visible on women, that's all. The ricocheting thing could be a problem, but presumably whatever protects Superman's skin (not to mention his shirt... shouldn't it look all tattered after he deflects a burst of machine-gun fire?) would also protect the female superhero's other, um, attributes in that area. (With Wonder Woman it's not even an issue, since her wristbands handle the bullet-deflecting duties.)

Why does Batman look like he's kicking back and relaxing in a... turret? strangely designed hot tub? whatever that is... on the "cashing" cake?

I read this blog everyday and I usually don't leave a comment, but I had to today. This post was one of the funniest posts here in a while. I was seriously laughing hard. Oh my god, more of things like this please.

I recognize that plastic oval Batman insignia...it is from dual purpose Batman/Superman Wilton kit I used to make my son a Batman cake about 15 years ago. It had a head and torso shaped pan that you baked the cake in, then decorated with the appropriate colored frosting using the "Wilton technique" and affixed the appropriate superhero face and chest emblem. It was the first and last I ever used black frosting!

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for your comments....It's Monday and I'm hitting the afternoon blues portion of the first day of the week....and the commentary on these gems just completely revived me!

My fav is the cake with Batman trying to convince the Batmobile to return...and the hibiscus smoke...

Wreck on Caped Catastrophes!

Bonnie B

PS...MalMal...'pp' is referring to the placement of the two p's in 'Happy'....which is why Hyena Overlord said that they should be back to back...hehehehe ;)

Brian Day is that beloved holiday which we celebrate by dressing up as leprauchauns while hopping around the Christmas tree. When the wreckorated cake is lit in the town square by the town cupid, it's time to retire for the evening. The Easter Bunny will leave quarters under you pillow while you sleep.

It's a wonderful holiday. Please tell me that I'm not the only one who celebrates it.

PLEASE tell me you're going to do a Sunday Sweets Superhero post?! I'm planning my 25th birthday party this year, and the theme is Comic Books and Graphic Novels, and I have no idea what to do for a cake, and these so called professional attempts are very disheartening!

I read all the commentary and captions, and finally cracked at "why is Batman fighting a dragon?", I spat cocoa all over my keyboard! I'm definately making a shirt with "Blasted baked balls of blue" on, its just too good!

But seriously, what's up with the river cake? Is it some sort of unholy compromise? Maybe the kid wanted Batman and the parents had already planned a Renaissance Faire-themed party? With a name like River, I wouldn't doubt it.

I too DEMAND to know why Batman is reclining recklessly on cake #5???(VERY unprofessional of a superhero to be napping while in uniform!!!)It looks like he slipped on the smooth surface of the way-out-of- proportion buildings (?) and got stuck. Cake #3 looks as if the Batmobile had been spinning doughnuts in a parking lot made of blue & yellow frosting, while Batman surfs the rippling waves on his mini surfboard. No telling WHAT shenanigans these two will be up to in the next episode! Stay tuned!

I LOVE this blog! You crack me up every day with these cakes! I follow it in my Google Reader and although I've never left a comment before, I'm leaving one now to let you know that I'm giving you a Blog Luv Award! You can check it out here: http://mistydawnphoto.com/blog/?p=304

For the record, copyrighted characters are technically not supposed to be drawn on professional cakes without crazy amounts of permissions... not that that stops the smaller bakeries, generally... But anyway, that's why so many plastic figurines.

"But you know, all these cakes are totally cheating: they each use plastic Batman figurines! Why aren't decorators actually drawing the caped crusader?"

Unfortunately, us decorators are not allowed to draw any licensed material, no matter how much a customer begs, pleads and gets pissed off because they already bought all the "stuff" for the theme. Those gray blobs on the blue Batcycle cake are supposed to be round rocks, not spikes! Geesh..

As a craft-store Wilton alumnus (and my mom before me), that last cake brings back memories. Poor guy; he looks more like The Tick than Batman. Not saying I could do much better but still. Poor guy. The eyes freak me out.

"Cashing Crime." Was this made for a bank? And if so, I don't know if that's an occasion for celebration...

River cake...Oh, boy. No words. They tried so hard...well, I hope it at least tasted good.

Okay, must stop laughing...people are beginning to wonder what I'm doing over here. *snicker*

The toys on the cake is because of copyright issues. Very few if any bakeries have the right to do a cake like you are talking about them doing. Would cause huge legal problems for them. The baker of the cake you praised so highly might not appreciate your compliment especially if it brings her the attention of whoever enforces the copyright of Spiderman

#1 "When you close your eyes at night, do you still hear the bats scream, Clarissa?" I know the name isn't an exact match, but I couldn't resist. Maybe they're screaming because they were made to perform aeroBATics.

It looks like Bat Boy is jumping out of a giant pram ('old-fashioned stroller'), though that still doesn't explain the neon orange goo.

'Brian Day'. Let's hope that was the kid's full name, and not the start of another dastardly trend in word economizing. I know the point was already raised, but there sure are a lot of candles...

#2 looks like Batman was teaching Robin to park just as Tinkerbell made an unfortunate appearance in the wrong story. Poor Timmy. Poor, pink Timmy. Maybe he and Brian will have the same therapist. All in all, it's just another door in the wall.

Ah, Jimmy! Or is it 'Simmy'? Definitely not Timmy -- there are no collies on that cake.

Poor kid -- that cake even makes his name ambiguous.

What's the deal on the last specimen -- the background looks like mac & cheese. I so hope not -- I like that particular dish and want to keep eating it without hearing that theme song playing over and over in my mind...

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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