Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Ever got the craving for a hamburger late at night or miles from the nearest Maccas. Tough isn't it? Your body is craving High GI fats and sugars but you just can't get your hands on any. Agony.

Or perhaps you are on a Macca-free diet for some strange reason that your body doesn't quite understand and is resisting violently.Well the answer to your dilemma could be as close as this new preparation from None. It's called Re-Tox and has all the (memory of) the animal fats, simple sugars and lot fed protein of a Big Mac without the calories.How is this possible you say? Simple.The boffins at None Labs simply blended a Big Mac and fries with a little water, strained the resulting goop to obtain an essence which was then diluted many times using classic Homeopathic techniques to produce Re-Tox, complementary medicines answer to the munchies.

OUR MOTTO

Credulatum Omnia

DONORS WANTEDNone Laboratories urgently requires donors in order to meet demand for the following products- DIGITUM and MEMORY BOOST.
Simple same day surgery is all that is required. Good prices paid.
Note: must be above average IQ in the case of Memory Boost donations. Free post-op speech lessons included.

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PRACTITIONERS

Dr. O. None

Prof. M. Cox

Prof. Z. None

FOR SALE

After treatment many of Dr. None's patients donate unwanted items which Dr. None sells to further his research into Placebo Power.Contact Dr. None for a great deal on a used wheelchair, white cane or surgical prosthethis.

NEW YEAR SPECIALOne only used artificial limb, left leg, one owner, low kilometres. Suit one legged man or Rolf Harris impersonator.