Fear not. I'm not here to do any tiresome Simmons bashing. I'm just here to recap the rather zany events that led up to Randy Moss getting traded.

So, last night came this Tweet from The Sports Fella:

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Simmons removed the tweet he's referencing from his feed altogether (the original tweet read just "Moss Vikings"), yet left up this explanatory one that still contained the rumor. I don't really know why Simmons would have used Twitter's DM feature for this when he could have simply used email to contact his Deep Fackin' Throat. Twitter's Direct Message feature is about as useful as Daulerio at a 12-step meeting. Although the slipup did lead to this rather brilliant hashtag. Some people have accused Simmons of letting the rumor slip on purpose. But I can tell you, from a few exchanges with Simmons, that it was probably was an honest mistake. The guy isn't tech savvy, and he's usually the first to admit it. (He still uses an AOL email account, for Christ's sake.)

That tweet led to Mike Florio at PFT tossing up this post, with the hilarious title: "Unintended tweet sparks rumors of Moss-to-Minny move." That then led to this confirmation tweet, from Mr. Glazer, who took five seconds off from helping NFL players PREPARE FOR THE FUCKING OCTAGON to confirm the deal in progress:

Then we all woke up this morning to the official news that the Vikings had sold away the future in a final, desperate ploy to placate their horrible, ancient QB and win a title they have no prayer of winning because their coach is fucking idiot (still though, it'll be fun to see Moss back in purple), and that the Patriots are giving up on a season in which they are 3-1 in a still very wide open NFL. Sweet!

Anyway, Simmons now promises to explain the story behind that tweet in Friday's column. Will he reveal his inside source? WAS IT BLUEBOY? You'll just have wait until then for the juicy details. Meantime, I expect Mitch Albom will get wind of how this story broke and pen a very thoughtful piece in Parade about how journalism, as your Great Aunt Flora knows it, is dead.