Japan halts porn exports to China over Diaoyu controversy: report

TOKYO (China Daily Show) – The dispute over the Diaoyu Islands showed no signs of abatement yesterday, after Japan was reported by domestic media to have taken steps to ban the export of specialist pornography to China.

The move, believed to be in retaliation for China’s unofficial limits on “rare-earth” exports, is said to have “devastated” netizens across China.

Pornography is commonly found across the Internet but Japan has cornered the market in the refinement and production of so-called “rare” pornography, a vital ingredient in modern web-viewing habits.

Reuters reported that Japan was declining exports in the 2 Girls, 1 Cup series to Chinese ports, though customs officials were quick to claim the stoppage was in fact due to “stringent quality-control issues.”

Rare porn is also manufactured in China, mainly in the autonomous Hong Kong region, but is widely agreed to be of a much lesser quality than that produced in Tokyo.

“Connoisseurs of so-called faux snuff, coprophilia tapes and barely legal schoolgirls consider Japan indisputably superior producers — and rightly so,” Sinologist, historian and noted philanthropist Sir William Buckfast told China Daily Show. “If exports are blocked, this could have a serious effect on the domestic tissue industry, as well as causing potential social unrest. One shudders to imagine how Beijing will retaliate.”

Buckfast, who was the first to notice the alleged freeze, added that he will be monitoring the situation extremely closely.

as usual, a piece of journalism devoid of any importance and insight….yeah the chinks will soon take to street as it claims….the ruthless capitalist communists there must be worried about their future….hahahah how funny….

Wagamama

yeah… as per usual! Apart from the possible exception of the Pyongyang Daily Bugle I can’t think of a single decent piece of journalism I’ve ever read. Brilliant put, Mika.

Sam

Nothing is funnier than some doofus who thinks this site is a real Chinese news web site.

I always try to be helpful, though. If you want the real thing, go to The Onion.