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Mighty Jacksparrow is an Earth-based sub-intergalactic blogger who enjoys writing and in the same time entertaining his ever-amusing will-kill-to-read fans with sensationally hilarious and at times dramatic musings. This blog offers endless ideas and results; they might be charming most of the times but could be offending in some others. Therefore, it is always noble to remind that if you enjoy the pieces, carry on reading, but if they upset you, do quietly leave like the evening breeze and not like exploding diarrhea, which exactly what you will look like if you ever lose it on me. Enjoy! :D

Monday, March 01, 2010

Why I Don't Get Many Blog Visitors

Some asked me how many people actually visited my blog by daily average.

Frankly, I can't give at all a definite figure.

But thanks to Nuffnang, at least, though not frequently, I can monitor the number of visiting readers by the weeks. The statistic shown in the user interface in Nuffnang control panel is very straight-forward and informative, therefore it is not very difficult at all for me to do some basic arithmetics in my head to calculate the rough estimates of the number of visitors to my blog on a daily basis.

And therefore I told them at least the estimates, to which they mostly replied, "is that it? Is that all of it?"

"Why?" That, is usually my reply.

"I don't know," they said. "Usually the number is higher. I mean, as compared to other blogs out there, commonly-lah, like other usual, ordinary blogs."

"Ouh," I said. "But you chose the wrong group of blogs to be compared to mine. Hence your justification could be inaccurate."

"Why?" They asked.

"Because," I said. "Because this is no ordinary blog."

* * *

This is no ordinary blog.

That is the first thing you should know about my blog. Everything in here is almost out of the ordinary, but not exactly extraordinary, not special too, but never rubbish. This is the place where you will find many interesting things, if only you have the eyes, the heart, the patience and the time to look for them. This is the place where many of the writings are from my own perspective; they could be in many forms, discussing different fields, but always seen from and only from my eyes.

There is almost nothing about artists and latest gossips - about this artist who happens to be a whore and only befriends other artists but none the others; this artist who somewhat is a playboy and drives a car that the monthly payment has due for half a year already; this artist who denied being married to some big shot and received a goddamn sport-performance car as her dowry but later confessed anyway; this artist who married someone who is half his/her age; or some mushroom, young artists who ran amok at the set either in terms of catfights or spouse war, and when their images were taken and went public, they blamed some other people in the press whom they said responsible for the incidents.

Also you can skip my blog if you are in the needs for entertainment-related and media-savvy posts. There is hardly anything on that, let alone any pictures

You can hardly find any article that is fully political in this blog. Therefore you will find it hard to access any information on these local political terms: Al-Juburi, cah keting, royalti minyak, saman RM100 juta et cetera.

Also, there will be no nudity or pornographic material whatsoever. To date, I still don't get it why the keyword Bangladeshi porn directed people to this blog once before. There is no picture whatsoever that shows bareskin bumps (other options: flabby, flat et cetera) and other explicit body parts, let alone any hardcore-sex related material. So you porn-lovers, I'm sorry there is nothing of such in here. I don't watch porn anyway, for I find it's nonsensical - why would someone spends so much time getting high looking at some couples (other options: solo, threesomes, foursomes, more-than-four-somes, animal et cetera) having sex in their computer screen all day?

Better go out and play. Sports, I mean. Or court some ladies. And get married. Whatever. Point is, they are more adventurous and challenging. Let's move on.

You also cannot find anything that describe my daily routine that only makes sense to me but never to others. Fine, I might have some stories that describe about my day and things I have bought and pictures of places I have been to, but at least some find it educational. For instance, you can hardly find anything about my days, written in a daily basis. I don't find my blog as my diary, for I have my own diary, both in my Outlook Explorer which is electronic, and also in handwritten form. I find it unnecessary to tell about my clothing; what shoes I wear, what kinds of jeans, what brand items for today, and so on. I just don't like my routine (which is never a routine anyway) to be monitored by people.

I hardly write about my dislikes in self physical appearance - my physical appearance, that is. I don't write about 'oh my god how I hate my love handles like oh-em-gee!' and 'OMFG I wish I am taller/slimmer/sexier/noticeable/ prettier/fairer and that I have better butts/bust (that sounds so wrong if I did complain about that)/legs/hair/mouth/nose/lips/brain/eyes/ liver/ kidneys/visceral motor neurons, among other things. I also don't post pictures of myself and with the captions, 'OMG I look so fucking fat in this picture' or 'Look at me I'm one sexayy bitchehh naughtehh whore Oh God somebody please fuck me already' kind of things. I love myself as it is - if I have some extra belly, I go diet. If I have some extra fat, I go sports more. If I'm dark-skinned and my face looks like I'm one mucho-mambo trigger-happy crook, there's nothing I could do about it.

And I don't sell products here. Or teach you how to get RM100 a day and RM70,000 in a week, then RM 10 millions in a month and then you can buy the world by the end of the year. Therefore you can skip my blog if you are finding some pictures of some freakish people wearing black suits under hot equatorial sun next to a freaking Lamborghini Gallardo showing you some thumb-up signs with that kind of smile (you know what kind of smile that is) on their faces while biting some 1-inch thick RM100 notes in between their jaws.

I don't too make reviews of computer/gadgets/cars/books/electrical appliances/maternity wards/whore houses/liquor/babes/food/ dolphins/athlete foot and the likes.

No, you wont find those things here.

Instead, you can only find some ultra-length posts written in the most relevant English form, described using some beautiful words about some uncommon but strangely common stories that happened in my life. My posts, some of them are boring to those who find reading is hard. But to those who find it valuable, they are priceless. There are advices, fables, love-related, philosophy, and many other kind of things that you might find interesting and beneficial.

But then again, if only you have the eyes, the heart, the patience and the time to look for them, because everything in here is almost out of the ordinary, but not exactly extraordinary, not special too, but never rubbish.

And this post is for you, my loyal readers! Thank you for being loyal and keeping on coming here to read my writings, for I believe you people are those who crave for many things usually uncommon but strangely common, for you are all my extraordinary fans! Cheers!

* * *

As to end the post, here is a quote from one of my most favorite darlings:

"I think, the blog is quite informative although it is written from the point of view of a guy. The stories are rather interesting and the photos are awesome. From his few recent entries, the writer seems to have quite a sense of humor."

14 comments:

Well, people can't simply judge how nice a blog is, just by number of visitors or posts. people who want high traffic at their blogs may only want to promote themselves, not for the sake of blogging.

btw, keep the flow on, bro. i like the way you write. yes, it's the best to not to write something personal. but sometimes we can't hinder that. some people know how to not to directly relate all the stories, philosophies, etc to themselves; like you- but some people don't know how to.

To be frank, I love your blog~!! previously, i never wanted to open ur blog whenever you said (in fb) blog update. But, from the moment i read about the "three things", i found myself addicted to what you gonna post next..I would say, i always looking forward ur Blog post..and yes, this is no ordinary blog..