Social Forces, Self Worth, and Attraction

One of the most important things I realized about creating attraction is that there are basically two ways to do it:
1. FAKING YOUR IDENTITY AS “THE MAN”
2. ACTUALLY BEING “THE MAN”

Now, if you do 1, then you will constantly have to remember what to do, what to say, etc. And when you DO get success, you will be AMAZED that it happened.

If you adopt the SECOND approach, you will NOT have to figure anything out, and you will not be surprised at all by the powerful results. You won’t be surprised because you will be FEELING a different plane of existence that you know is a place that everyone you meet wants to be.

The FEELING, the VIBE that you will be experiencing internally is so powerful, so recharging, so magnificent, that you will be EXUDING this aura and drawing people toward you who enjoy basking in that aura. The same way you would want to do with someone who gave off the same aura.

I know this sounds a little new-agey, but the truth is it actually makes perfect logical sense: We are attracted to that which makes us feel GOOD. There are all kinds of reasons for this beyond the scope of this article, but the crazy thing is that what makes us feel good is MOSTLY PERCEPTION of reality. Therefore, to a large degree, perception IS reality.

If you REALLY feel secure, if you REALLY feel awesome, if you REALLY aren’t needy, you will REFLECT that in infinite ways that will be FAR more compelling than just a beautiful body, face, or wallet.

Why is this?
It’s because such emotional control is RARER than body, face or cash assets.

It’s compelling, to say the least.

Learning to have such awesome emotions without the use of substances takes emotional intelligence and discipline, and very few people have it. In fact, you could be an ACADEMIC genius and a EMOTIONAL moron. If you are an EMOTIONAL genius, you will have not only more women than you can handle, but better connections with all people.

Most people give off the vibe of feeling mean, bitter, angry, sad, desperate etc.

Let me give you an example:
I used to get UPSET when things went “wrong” in relationships. I had expectations. Well, the crazy thing is that one day I snapped-but in a good way. I used to think I “needed” this and “needed” that. Well, after getting burned so many times as a good guy, I learned to need NOTHING from women, and just enjoy whatever moment happened to be in front of me. And the crazy this is that pretty quickly, I started getting all those things I thought I needed, and from many women at once!

This was NOT a co-incidence. It was a result of the emotions these women were feeling when around me, they basically could not lose. They felt great around me because of the vibe I gave off, and they were under no pressure for anything since I needed nothing.

Can you imagine the power you would possess if you could NOT get jealous? I used to be a very jealous type of guy, till I finally realized that 99 percent of jealousy is PURPOSELY activated by women to get a RESPONSE out of you! Think about it: If a woman is trying to make you jealous, she is either sick in the head, or she actually really wants you and is trying to get you to chase her harder. Either way, it has nothing to do with your self-worth. Either way, not reacting makes you cooler, and actually makes more SENSE anyway if you truly are secure. It’s the “devil inside” that makes you ever think otherwise, i.e. that makes you want to start succumbing to fear, insecurity, rage, etc.

If you meet guys who are successful with women, in fact, so successful that they make women jealous, you’ll notice that they tend to not get jealous. For whatever reason, maybe it’s because they have ten girls and so there’s no need, or maybe it’s because he is just so self-secure, the fact is by not having this negative emotion, it helps exude this INVISIBLE, YET SUPER POWERFUL AURA.

Because you are exuding an aura that says you are SUPERIOR.

Does that sound a bit strange?
It only sounds strange till you EXPERIENCE it, till you FEEL cool, awesome, and worthy. Then it’s like “of course”.

When you hear “just be yourself” with women, what this REALLY means is “be SECURE in yourself.” Because when you are not, you start acting reallllly weird.

If you feel desirable, then be yourself. If you don’t feel desirable, then you need to learn to change the way you feel about yourself.

Most guys, instead of coming across as desirable, are just coming across as they FEEL.

They think this is "natural and not being artificial".

But let me ask you a question:
If you feel like crapola, or if you feel really desperate, or if you feel like no woman would want you, do you really think that having these THOUGHTS is being "natural"? Do you think that having these thoughts is being NICE?

I really want you to make the most of what I have to offer, so PLEASE listen carefully, because if you are a good guy, the kind of guy that I would want as my friend, then I really want to help you IMMEDIATELY.

It is in fact very NOT NICE to come across to a woman you like as anything less than the BEST guy she could possibly meet. And the BEST guy she could possibly meet would, in her mind, NOT be acting or thinking or feeling desperate. No sirreeee.

Because, you see, if you DO have negative thoughts, and even worse, if you SHOW these negative thoughts such as thinking that you are not worthy, then you are basically telling a woman you are a BAD CHOICE.

And THAT makes her feel REPULSED.

Now, how nice is THAT?

You want to make women feel REPULSED?
You want to make women NAUTIOUS?

Not nice at ALL!
You meany, you!

I mean, how would YOU feel if a woman was basically taking no responsibility for how she came across, and basically REPULSED you? You'd want to get away in a hurry, that's what you'd want to do! Now the crazy thing here is that a lot of guys just don't BELIEVE me.

But in fact, it actually IS natural! When you are NOT in this state of mind, it's NOT natural.

Listen, when you are in the right frame of mind, you do so many things right, and your internal system and even your health works better, that is LUDICROUS to think that anything OTHER than this proper frame of mind is natural. You see, you have to have your mind POLLUTED with negative crap in the first place in order to get it to feel like negative thoughts are natural.

Kind of like how when your computer's brain is affected by a virus, your computer NATURALLY acts screwed up. But this is not the NATURAL state of your computer.

I'm trying my best to get the idea across in written words, but I know that STILL some guys won't believe me, and I know that so much more can be conveyed in person, and by proving it.

So if you REALLY want to be NICE to a woman, you would try to make her feel that YOU are desirable.

Let's be honest, what you are REALLY doing when you are doing your "nice guy thing" is, quite simply, what you THINK a woman would appreciate from a guy who is NOT worthy.

Because THAT actually makes sense:
i.e. "Hi, I'm REALLY NOT WORTHY of you, so I am going to kiss your ass and let you abuse me in order to have a CHANCE at you".

But what if you CHANGED YOUR THOUGHTS?

You see, thoughts are things. So much of life is up to you, because it's perception. So why the hell make your own self-perception of yourself one that seems to say SUCKY instead of SUPER?

That way, you would be giving women what they really want - a guy who is super and doesn't HAVE to kiss up to try to make up for his defects with actions that really just emphasize that he is in fact inferior. A woman’s attraction to you is about her FEELING that you have it all under control, that you’re not this pathetic case, and that it’s pretty easy for you.

And that FEELING of her is mostly based on the BEHAVIOURS that you exhibit.

We feel desire for what we think is the BEST.

Women WANT to feel desire for a man, and THEN have that DESIRE reciprocated.

So you must FIRST show that you are DESIRABLE. And then once you have achieved that, THEN it's GOOD to show that you are interested too, but of course to do this without kissing up. This is where jerks screw up, they don't know where to DRAW THE LINE, OR they end up attracting low self esteem women who unfortunately think they deserve to be treated badly. Jerks just keep on acting like jerks, which makes women feel that they will be HURT. This is BAD, from an evolutionary perspective, and therefore FEELS BAD, so that women will LEAVE. And in fact, MOST WOMEN WHO ARE HIGH SELF ESTEEM WILL DEFINITELY LEAVE jerks.

When you see women with TRUE jerks, those women are usually low self esteem with severe emotional problems. I have been lucky enough to meet a lot of women and have discovered that the REALLY awesome women will NOT be attracted to an obvious jerk.

BEHAVE AS IF YOU ARE DESIRABLE AND YOU WILL BE DESIRED.

So if you see a woman you'd like to meet, if you go right up to her and just start a conversation, instead of kissing up and thus indirectly telling her you are undesirable, you would get WAY better results.

And if you managed to tease her in a fun non abusive way, that would REALLY show that you are both desirable, fun, and not a creep.

Now the thing is, for a lot of guys, the NEGATIVE thinking, the NEGATIVE feedback they have been giving themselves or that they have been getting is so ENTRENCHED that they just won't BELIEVE that this stuff works.

So, for any guys in that situation, I say:
DON'T BELIEVE ME IF YOU DON'T LIKE. INSTEAD, JUST ALLOW FOR THE POSSIBILITY THAT IT MIGHT BE TRUE.

And then, GIVE IT A SHOT!
Try it.
Really try it, for real.
Treat it like a damn experiment for school.

Just try acting AS IF you were THE MAN.

I used to think to myself, this stuff can be so EASY.

Well the truth is, that it is, and yet it's not. Because CONTROLLING YOUR EMOTIONS and thoughts takes COURAGE and EFFORT and ENERGY. But it's worth it, and will give you back a HUNDRED TIMES more energy and success. So just THINK about what I said here. Then DO IT, for REAL.

Next time you see a woman you'd like to talk to, remember it's JUST AN EXPERIMENT.

Go ahead and talk to her as if you KNEW she wanted you.

And do this experiment a few times. DO IT AND THEN YOU WILL FEEL IT. What you will feel is not only SUCCESS with women, but you will feel great about YOURSELF.

And that is when you will realize that it was not women so much that you needed, but your self-esteem back. Of course, the two often go hand in hand, but you
must NEVER let a woman have control over your self-esteem. That is why there are billions of women out there, so that if one treats you bad, you can find another who is more intelligent and make you happier.

So go out.
Do it.
Feel it.

Honestly, this FEELING is THE MOST INCREDIBLE FEELING IN THE WORLD.

And guess what?
Your EMOTIONS are catchy. That is why when you feel like crap, you make women feel like crap if they are with you. No wonder most women run from ass-kissers.

Think of looking at a gorgeous ripe orange, bursting with flavour. Think of the incredible taste. The aroma. THAT is you when you are on the right MINDSET.

Now, think of a spoiled rotten fungus-laden fruit, with flies all around it, smelling weird, and you don't want to even THINK about tasting it.

Yeah, that's you in a negative mindset, when you are bitter, angry, or feeling desperate. You see, all those negative emotions convey some kind of ROTTING. And it shows in your movements, your tonality, your body language, your behaviours, your expression, and so much more.

You feel me here?

Yeah, this emotion stuff is HUGE, my friend.

THAT'S why I am so careful about WHO I hang out with, and what their values are, and what kind of frame of mind they are in.

I have a friend at the gym who is great like this, we keep each other in strong positive mindsets. We encourage each other in everything, not just working out. We have high goals. And we NEVER think in terms of scarcity, regarding women or anything else.

Okay, I want to wrap up by returning to my original point about the two ways to succeed with women. Sometimes, it’s difficult to make the automatic jump to BEING THE MAN without even having an idea of how THE MAN is supposed to behave. By LEARNING how THE MAN deals with everything from how to approach a woman, how to deal with challenges she throws at you, how to get physical, you will then be able to IMITATE at first, which will lead to you EXPERIENCING results.

These results will be so powerful that the confidence it restores to your identity will allow you to abandon strict regimens and you will be able to work on INSTINCT.

Inside my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, I show you not only how the man behaves in tons of situations from approaching women to getting physical and maintaining a woman’s attraction, I also show you powerful ways for helping you to GET INTO THE RIGHT FRAME immediately. This double-pronged approach is powerful in and of itself, but in addition to that, I also explain the “Third Prong”, which consist of all the important realities about how women think and behave in our society, and I show you how to incorporate your understanding of all this into your overall strategy for success with women.