Blood Feud: Joel Tudor vs. Kelly Slater!

A few months ago, the longboarder-turned-jiujitsu-black-belt Joel Tudor became enraged by a picture of Kelly Slater wearing a blue belt in an Instagram photo. “Crock of shit – the guy has been wearing a blue belt for years in pics and always made excuses when I would call him on it!” he wrote in the comments pane. “If he wants his belt , tell him to go sign up and put in the work like everybody else who starts at white and goes through hell to graduate to blue – anybody on here talking shit to me more than likely doesn’t train and has zero clue about Jiu Jitsu.” Read all about it here!

Things went quiet, as far as I can tell, but yesterday Joel lobbed another missile toward the Slater camp, this time challenging Kelly’s appreciation of surf history.

On his Instagram account, @joeljitsu, he posted a picture of the lovely Phil Edwards and wrote alongside, “World’s first surf star/Phil Edwards – sadly, if I were to go to haleiwa today and show this pic to the top 44 ….. None of them would have a clue who he is!”

@jasonronis quickly chimed in, @kellyslater would

@joeljitsu responded with a dagger. @jasonronis nope

Ouch! Is true? I can’t believe so. I can’t believe that Kelly Slater would not know Phil Edwards if he saw his picture. Kelly prides himself, partially, on his astute memory. I have heard him recount waves, turn by turn, that he rode decades ago. The exact score he got etc. And it is feasible that his photographic recollection applies solely to hisself but….no Kelly would know for sure. Yeah?

Let’s ask Matt Warshaw as soon as he wakes up!

Update: Matt Warshaw was not sleeping! He was enjoying a wonderful, crisp fall morning walk with his son while sipping hot coffee. Is there anything better?

I ask him, would Kelly know a pic of Edwards, if it was pressed under his nose? And also, who amongst the current crop have the firmest grasp on surf history. He answers:

“Of course surf history knowledge is woeful among young surfers. They are top-level athletes. They are surf gods. They wake up in the morning, have a cup of coffee, get out there and put their tanned shoulder to the wheel of surfing progression. That’s it. That’s enough.

Some will eventually want to know about surfing’s past, and good for them. And good luck to them, because the writers and filmmakers and the rest of us have access to that knowledge have mostly made our sport’s past as flat and boring possible.

As to who among the pros has the any surf history knowledge, I have no idea. Slater, actually, just because he’s been around longer, and has had more contact with more of the older legend-y surfers among us.”

What would we be without Matt Warshaw? Genuinely flat and boring is what.

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Israel got waves? It do and it ain't just at a pinch. It's also the most insanely rad, bravest and loveliest country in the world. An experiment without precedent built on the rocks of the desert and on the sands of the moody Mediterranean. Let it bloom! Come swim!

Just in: WSL contest for Israel!

A little over thirty years ago, the ASP swung into Tel Aviv for the Israel Pro. It was a speciality event and, in surprisingly good waves (this is the moody Mediterranean, after all) Derek Ho beat Rabbit Bartholomew.

Anyway, the WSL just announced the “Pro Netanya, a QS1,500 men’s event in Netanya – Israel, as the first event of the 2016 Qualifying Series sanctioned by WSL Europe.”

It’s the first time the world tour has been in this lovely part of the world for three decades. And what timing! Hint: read news.

The contest will launch the 2016 European Qualifying Series, there’s gonna be 1,500 ranking points available, and 25-gees prize money.

Oowee, it’s going to be fun. Have you ever been to Israel? I do advise a holiday there, or if you can throw a few turns together, maybe the contest.

I would go for the food, the chubby army gals, the mostly flat but occasionally real good waves, hospitality that just don’t stop, dazzling architecture and, if you’re a worldly sort of cat who like to create his own opinions, to see, with those two holes in your head, that the Jews ain’t the devils you might’ve been led to believe.

I would go for the food, the chubby army gals, the mostly flat but occasionally real good waves, hospitality that just don’t stop, dazzling architecture and, if you’re a worldly sort of cat who likes to create his own opinions, to see, with those two holes in your head, that the Jews ain’t the devils you might’ve been led to believe.

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WSL promises wanton violence!

I was scrolling through espn.com minutes ago seeing what was happening in the world of sport when a strange advertisement caught my eye. It featured a picture of Kolohe Andino, hung dog, and read, “DREAMS MADE & DESTROYED DAILY” and then “QS CAGE MATCHES” and then “IT’S ON!”

And what the hell?

I get that it is an ad tailored to me because I watch surfing etc. etc. etc. and Google know where I go and what I do but advertising like surfing is mixed martial arts is a very strange thing to do. It is not, for one, and for two it is not even close.

And for three of course I don’t really want to see any dreams destroyed, especially not Kolohe’s. How do you think he feels that his picture is used, hung dog, to showcase, clearly, destroyed dreams? How do the surfers with actual destroyed dreams feel that the WSL is mocking their pain?

And for four, who is in charge over there?

Do they think, if the ad is being shown to non surfers too, that Ronda Rousey’s depressed fan base will click on surfing and be confused long enough to stick around awhile and then become fans?

I don’t get any of it. Could you help me? Please.

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North Point is very very good for anyone capable in the discipline of high jumps. Noa Deane, here, won't be there, but…John John, Filipe, Gabriel, Italo… | Photo: Bosko/@boskophoto

From the WSL Commissioner Kieren Perrow: “Athlete safety is a top priority for the League. We have been in constant discussions with our athletes, event organizers and administrators regarding the future of this event. The WSL has made significant investments in the areas of surveillance and response for all current and future Tour spots, and we are currently working with a number of firms specializing in mitigation technology that focus on both athlete safety and the safety of the marine environment.

“The strides we’re making in the areas of surveillance and response are significant, but there presently exists no technology that has been proven to be 100% effective. Our athletes are aware of this, as they have always been.”

In other words, we’ll have a swing at keeping the sharks out but, really, we ain’t superhuman.

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Strider to WSL: “Give Bruce the wildcard!”

The wonderful Strider Wasilewski, 1/5th of the World Surf League’s commentating team has come out swinging, this morning, for Bruce Irons! Instagram, if you haven’t noticed, is awash in Japan’s imperial flag and the younger Irons brother tossing two shakas. Underneath it reads #BRUCE4PIPEMASTERSWILDCARD.

If you click on the tag, much of the discussion sounds like this. “WSL…pull your fucken heads out of your asses and give Bruce the wildcard…” or “It’s the right thing to do @wsl you know it, we know it, let’s do it” or “I don’t want to go another season where Bruce is missing from the event.”

The World Surf League, when it was called the ASP, left Bruce off last year’s roster even though the event is held in honor of his brother. Much well-deserved rage ensued.

And we’re back! Strider’s voice, though, is maybe the most powerful not only because he is 1/5 of the World Surf League’s commentating team but because he is very thoughtful, writing:

Death brings so much emotion, when it’s a family member it brings even more. People deal with in in different ways and take time to get through it. Bruce Irons took his time to deal with his brother Andy Irons passing and is no surfing better than I have ever seen him surf…This post is a call out to the @WSL and @billabong to give @bruceirons a wildcard into the Pipeline Masters to surf in his brother’s honor. #bruce4pipemasterswildcard

Will the WSL do the right thing or will there be a mass revolt? Also, where would BeachGrit find the non-rumor half of its news if Instagram didn’t exist?

UPDATE: The WSL just responded to the hashtag barrage raining down upon them, issuing a Tweet:

We’re pleased to see Bruce Irons in the Pipe Trials, where the sole 2 wildcards at #BillabongPipeMasters are awarded to the top 2 finishers.

Will this satisfy the masses? Also, does the Tweet read passive-aggressive or is it just me?