When I heard there existed a horror movie about Ron Jeremy's dick going on a killing spree, I did not think it would be the best cinematic experience of my professional career! Thank you so much "One Eyed Monster" for showing me the light.

Hey remember that 'RV' comedy movie they advertised back in '06 that you were almost interested in seeing because it had Robin Williams in it but then you realized it looked shitty so you didn't? Yeah you didn't miss much.

"Hey reviewing bad movies will be WAY better than reviewing bad video games!" exclaimed Raptor Red, her stupid trap flapping in the wind. "The Butterfly Effect 3" is a heartwarming family film involving magical bathtubs, racism, and sisterfucking. Also it's as boring as a Catholic mass.

The worst thing about "Trolls on Treasure Island" is not that it's about a god-awful 1990s franchise, or even that this 1992 NES title has graphics that look like an Atari with extra chromosomes. No, the worst thing about "Trolls" is simply Octavio. He is also the besthing.

Even though the ROM Pit doesn't want to dampen the enthusiasm for the awesome "Sonic and the Black Knight," it's time we unleash our justice on an unfortunate mistake along the way: the deplorable "Sonic the Hedgehog 2." Think it was a good game? Prepare to have your world torn down.