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Archive for the tag “50 and dating”

After four months of great dates, Peter and Lucy concluded they were good for ‘the moment’ however, they had no future.

Actually, Lucy concluded they had no future.

Peter was smart, successful and spontaneous. He had a never ending supply of ideas for unique dates including beginner dance lessons, lectures at the JCC, they saw the Improv group BATS, attended Free Days at museums, walked across the Golden Gate Bridge, had his/hers massages at the Kabuki, and scored SRO tickets for the San Francisco Symphony. There were impromptu picnics in Marin, a wine tasting in St Helena and they discovered the artist, Layla Fanucci and her art gallery and winery – double winner.

The naked truth: He had HAI hopes

Then Peter urged Lucy to get HAI with him. HAI? What did that mean? (It has nothing to do with the Helicopter Assn. International.) The Internet had one definition – then again, so did Peter. She ascertained it was ‘naked frolicking in public’. He called them ‘human awareness exercises.’ The deal was, clothes we optional – not appreciated.

Why waste time?

As much fun as they enjoyed, Lucy was not a fan of wearing her birthday suit around total strangers bit. Peter loved it and kept pressing. For that reason, and a few other cloying differences that just cropped up over time – she decided to end the romantic liaison and graduate to ‘”just friends”.

Clever girl, Lucy penned a sweet email – alluding to their relationship being like a glass of champagne: bubbles are fun, lively, entertaining and, in time, they disappear.

He called to say he didn’t ‘get’ the one line about “All good things must come to an end– let’s move on – fini compleat. Thank you, best wishes.”

Next, she complied the ‘Best CD of Breakup Songs’ ever made – a clear, hard-hitting message – all along the lines of “breaking up is hard to do.”

He texted and asked if she had sent him a “Dear John CD.” Prescient. Keeping in line with the separation motif- she stopped returning his texts.

The Big Clue

When Lucy saw Peter’s profile back up on Match.com she knew they both had come to the same conclusion – just at different times.

They are friends – from afar.

Both are dating new people. Happily-ever-after. It happens.

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much. Buddy Hackett

After a two year sabbatical from the Wide Wonderful World of Internet Dating, Carol decided to consult with Wolfgang, the “Psychic to the Stars.” Should she try dating again? Divorced for five years, she had already been the Poor Little Match.com girl once, enjoyed a flurry of first and second dates, met a passel of men and made a lot of “friends.” And, then she met Ralph.
He had an Altar Ego

She and romantic Ralph dated for three very intense months. It took that long for her to fully realize he was in a huge rush to the altar. Any altar – with any one. It was too much, too soon, too fast for her. They parted amicably. She dodged a bullet.

She booked an appointment with the psychic and was finally seated across from the famous Wolfgang; a small, marble-topped, table between them. After shuffling an over-sized deck of faded and worn Tarot cards, he had her select seven cards. He looked at the cards, briefly. Without missing a beat he said, “Darling, Internet dating, really? You will be fishing in the same pond.”

She looked at him quizzically and as he scooped up the cards with a flourish, he said, “It will be all the same men, darling.” No, no, say it isn’t so!

Carol, known to be a wee bit cynical, is also an optimist in all things romantic. She defied the prediction and defiantly climbed aboard the Dating Train. It had been awhile; she wasn’t sure of the new rules, the quicker pace, current buzzwords and the dating site’s shiny, new bells and whistles.

Stepping on a treadmill that was ‘on’ at full speed?

Like a blast from the past,

Carol had a surreal feeling of deja vu. She quickly realized old Wolfgang made a point. Here she was again, and – a veritable parade of very familiar male faces danced before her on the computer screen. Here were the same old pictures of the guys from before. And, magically, none of them had aged! They were all still 50- and she was two years older!

She scanned the photos and realized a ton of these guys hadn’t even updated their pictures. She remembered the winkin, blinkin’ and nods involved in the on-line dating dance. She could do this. Game on.

Looking for a Few Good Men?

She decided this time around she wasn’t going to sit back and wait for Mr. Right to approach her. She was a girl from the Midwest, a region known for their outgoing, friendly, demeanor. No wallflower action this time around. She would be out going, and going out. She planned to contact one man a day, for one week, and see what kind of luck she had.

This time around, Carol intends to get in the game and pay attention to the red flags.

Hey, who is writing all the Dating Rule Books about green lights and red flags and faux pas?

Fact: Most dating, mating, flirting, and loving rule books are written by women.

At last a guy, Mr. Anon, has taken the time to create “The List of Rules From the Manly Man Point of View.” The original manuscript, written in pencil on a piece of binder paper had few real scholarly pretensions. Through time, various readers felt compelled to enhance and embellish the edicts. Now we know: what men are really thinking.

The Top Ten Compendium of Manly Man Dictates:

1. ESPN not ESP: Men are not mind readers. We are rugged, brawny, handsome and handy – we just don’t have the ESP gene – spell it out, sweetheart.

2. Sunday Sports are of the highest importance. They’re like the full moon, the stars and the sky – our True North. It’s not the day to drag us to mall and make us hold your suitcase-sized purse as you try on 15 pair of identical black slacks. We crave Sunday Sports – be a sport – and just hand us the remote control.

3. Don’t Mall Me: Shopping is not a sport. No amount of cajoling, kidding, or kissing is going to make us think of it that way.

4. Ask for what you want: Let’s be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work. Strong, loud, hints don’t work. Call us primitive– it’s obvious your soft, whimsical. cute little hints are not effective. Do us both a favor, and clearly state what you want.

5. Final Answer: ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. We are succinct. Especially during TV commercials.

6. Talk to the Girls: Come to us with a problem only if you really want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy, gossip, chatting – are what your wonderful girlfriends are for, right?

7. Memories: Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and Void after seven days.

8. Weighty Issues: If you think you’re fat, you might be – or you are looking for a compliment… and reassurance…first check a mirror, and then come to us…and never on a Sunday.

9. Lost in Translation: If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we really meant the other one. Honest.

10. Commercial Value: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the TV commercials.

And, for the record: Following our Bliss~ Christopher Columbus didn’t ask for directions and pride prevents us from breaking the mold.