Okay readers. So this is when I took Arcadius outside of the #FlashFiction format and just wrote about him. Probably for the reasons I talked about in “The Birth of Arcadius“, I feel really connected to this character and this story. The plan is to make Arcadius into a great novel, juxtaposing his life with someone… hmm, someone a little less fabulous and famous. But … Honestly, I REALLY want to know what you guys think. What you think of Arcadius as a character, what you think of my writing, what you thought of some of the other stories I posted, what you love and what you hate, and just any kind of criticism you have. I live for feedback so please comment with your thoughts. Thanks.

Meeting Mr. Twinkie (part six)

It had been about three weeks since Arcadius met up with Mr. Heartthrob. There was the botched hook up and then they met for a lunch a few days later. Things went well, they got to know each other that much more and it seemed things were moving in a good direction. Weeks went by and Mr. Heartthrob was M.I.A. to Arcadius’ confusion, until about a week later when his publicist called him and told him there was a story about them hanging out, with pictures. He had his publicist email the pics to him and he actually thought they looked cute together. They weren’t making out or even holding hands in the pic so he didn’t see the big deal, but it was obvious that Mr. Heartthrob was backing away from the situation to protect his image, and his preference.

Arcadius was forced to not dwell on this though, because in that time he had lots of work to do. Press Junkets and additional Promo for both his film that was getting a wide release soon and that songs Deluxe soundtrack. All leading up to the first Hollywood premiere of the film. Once that was done, and the weekend receipts were in, he planned on finally taking the much needed time away from work he had been looking forward to for months.

He didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do, or what he wanted to accomplish, he just knew he needed a breather and that’s what he planned on doing. The movie itself hadn’t been such a headache, but dealing with his record label on both the Standard and Deluxe edition of his soundtracks was troubling. For almost 10 years he was at a label that trusted him and worked with him, this year he seemed to get a bit of a cold shoulder and constant opposition from them. Being the good employee he was, he didn’t raise a fuss over any of it. Sure he felt a difference, but nothing was big enough for him to anger them anymore than they were already. Or, possibly were. He decided not to rock the boat.

The premiere finally came and Mr. Heartthrob and Arcadius were briefly reconnected. Heartthrob was about 5 people behind Arcadius on the Red Carpet. He was going to walk back to shake hands and take pictures with him, but when he approached him Mr. Heartthrob gave kind of an awkward smile and Arcadius took it as a hint to back off. At the After-Party, they saw each other again, around cameras, and the same thing happened. Arcadius was walking over to greet Heartthrob and was given a funny look before Heartthrob quickly exited the area.

Instead of obsess over why Mr. Heartthrob was acting this way, since he was pretty sure he knew already, Arcadius ended up having lots of fun that day and most of that week. Not only did he enjoy seeing a lot of his industry friends and family, but for the first time in a number of months he was also around his Team. His stylist Traci, and her two assistants Rowley and Nate. His hair and makeup team Donnie and Lonnie. They were always a great bunch of people to be around during monotonous boring duties like junkets. They kept him laughing and entertained and awake when everything else around him drove him to boredom. And he had the most fun with them at his After-Party.

Once the party was dying down, around 1am, Donnie and Nate mentioned going to the clubs. Arcadius thought back to SF Pride and how he wanted so badly to go out and be a part of that club scene but didn’t make it. He had been to private parties and things with his Team before but never to a club, and from the chat between those two it sounded like this club night would be a fun one. So he invited himself. Almost two hours later, Arcadius, Donnie, Nate, Lonnie and Rowley arrived in West Hollywood with intention to dance their stress away.

Not only did Arcadius dance the night away, he got majorly drunk, and flirted more than he ever did in his life. It didn’t hurt that nearly every other person that talked to him was of the “sexually blunt” variety (the other people were huge fans who either cried or screamed about how much they loved his music). It was the one guy that was nice, but not overtly into him that Arcadius was drawn to. And surprise, surprise, this guy was a Porn star.

Arcadius never made it a secret that he loved porn, and this guy, we’ll call him Mr. Twinkie, was one of his current obsessions. A young slim white boy with a Punk attitude, a gorgeous body and a cute little butt. Early that night Mr. Twinkie came and talked to him a bit but then re-joined his group of friends and pretty much stayed loyal to them the rest of the night. After about 6 Kettle One and Tonic’s Arcadius decided to go over and talk to him and Twinkie didn’t mind at all. It seems like Twinkie was waiting for Arcadius to make the first move. Because them talking normally, turned into suggestive flirting, to mild groping, to exchanging numbers, to meeting up in Arcadius’ hotel room that night.

Sex was had, good sex at that. Arcadius was surprised at himself, only having seen gay sex via his computer he was proud that he was able to get a good stroke and was pleased that he was clearly pleasing Mr. Twinkie whose face was in pure ecstasy the minute penetration started. They boned the rest of that night into the morning, at about 5:30am they were worn out and napped. Close to noon Twinkie ordered room service but was more interested in the sausage between Arcadius’ legs and they quickly started another round.

Unlike Mr. Heartthrob, Mr. Twinkie wasn’t all too concerned with conversation or getting to know Arcadius. It was purely a sex thing, and at that point Arcadius didn’t mind at all. They had to have gone through every position, in every area of the hotel room. Twinkie was young so his stamina was there, and Arcadius was a healthy 30 something so he had no trouble keeping up.

That night Twinkie asked if Arcadius wanted to check out some sex shops, try out some different toys and lube and things of that nature. Arcadius obliged and they hit the WeHo streets at about 9pm.

This was the first time Arcadius had actually walked the length of the strip, and he found himself intrigued by everything out there. With the premiere of his film done, and box office receipts coming in the very next day, he decided what he was going to do during his “breather”. He was going to stay right in West Hollywood for a few weeks and just observe the Gay life there. He figured it might be a good idea to call his Team and have them be his “tour guides” so to speak. And also, in Hollywood, he thought it might be a good idea to meet with some successful openly Gay celebrities and Industry folks.

Mr. Twinkie, a Canadian, was planning on leaving the next day once a Porn shoot was completed so Arcadius would be pretty much alone, but he felt really good about this new idea. He called a few of his friends, and his manager, and told them his plans. Not knowing why really, he didn’t need their permission because he already told them about taking a break. However he just wanted to let the important people know what was up with him.

He decided to check out some temporary real estate, and found a really cute and secluded Town Home to set up shop at. Bought some furniture and additional crap, and was planning to start his vacation.No expectations, no goals, no work, just for once in almost 10 years he was just going to BE! And he was excited.

Arcadius was the type of celebrity that was easily recognizable. He had great full lips, big brown eyes, and a nice overall frame. As a performer he definitely dressed things up and was always fashion forward,y but he was not scared to Glam it up. He noticed after a week hanging out in West Hollywood that just being and dressing like a normal dude he was able to avoid crowds of people fawning over his autograph. Of course, every day he was out… to go grab some coffee, or clothes shopping, or to buy some porn… somebody recognized him. But overall, he was surprised that he wasn’t worried about leaving his new town home for fear of a frenzy. He didn’t even have to call his security, he felt oddly at home.

His days mainly consisted of waking up around noon, getting up to fetch some coffee or breakfast or lunch, either walking up and down the WeHo strip or venturing out to other parts of Southern California to absorb the culture. He had traveled all over the world, but the LA area was one he basically only worked in and never really experienced like say London or Dublin or New York. He didn’t love it, he had some gripes about that part of California but for the most part he was thinking positive and only of the things he did enjoy. He loved driving around, and didn’t mind the traffic at all. He loved being a bit of a tourist and checking out all the movie history in Hollywood and elsewhere. So most of his evenings were spent exploring.

His nights were filled with various dinner parties and dinner meet ups with some of the more famous out celebrities and industry people in LA. He really wanted to pick their brains about being Gay and being successful in their kind of industry, but not in a way where they’d feel like he was doing research for a school assignment. Some of these meet-ups were nice enough, the famous fitness instructor and his husband were a fun group. So was the up and coming comedian and his two “squirrel friends”. Not so much with the award winning Television producer who was a complete snob, or the Oscar winning screenwriter who was so high on his soap box the whole time pressing Gay issues. And then you had the sex-crazed ones like the “sort of” Out actor and his plaything who seemed to only speak in obvious double entendres.

In just about a month, Arcadius felt like he got a good overview of the Gay life… or at least the Gay life in West Hollywood. He had met a good spectrum, from the barely minimum wage cashiers and waiters to the top of the top Gays in Hollywood. Yet he knew he was still a “newbie” and as smart as he was, he didn’t have everything figured out yet. Meanwhile, the Paparazzi obviously got a tip he was setting up in West Hollywood and soon enough one tabloid had a full spread on his goings on out there. The magazines didn’t make any insinuations about him being a whore or anything, just all the Out celebs he was meeting up with. They dubbed it “Arcadius’ Big Gay Vacation”.

Arcadius’ PR people were pissed, but he thought it was lighthearted enough and didn’t want to make any bigger deal out of it. He was a little surprised, he thought the Paps were a little more obvious because he didn’t remember a time, other than people taking pics on their cell phones, when he encountered a photog at all. He was happy he looked cute in all the pictures, and even though he only had a few pockets of his life where Paparazzi were a big problem he was kind of happy to be relevant enough to devote a two page spread.

After the spread, a lot more Out and not-so Out celebrities reached out to him, not knowing he was in town before the article. So Arcadius decided why not have a sort of welcoming party, even though he thought somebody else should be throwing it for him. He decided that it was a good idea, but not in his own Town Home. He and a few friends set out to find a nice house to rent in the area for a night. The search was short lived because an industry friend allowed Arcadius to use his place while he was out on tour. Arcadius than hired a party planner for what he wanted to be a nice atmospheric house party. Music, good food, a place for people to really mingle and have fun. He didn’t want to go overboard with a theme or anything Beverly Hills-esque. Just a regular house party.

He was unsure of who to invite though, he didn’t know that many people to decide who all would make the best crowd. He called up Donnie, Nate, Rawley, the comedian friend and the fitness instructor to help him come up with a list. They all had a ball laughing about who was in and who was out over bottles of Kettle One and pineapple juice. By the end of the three or so hours, they had determined a guest list of about 50 people which they figured would expand to at least 100 hopefully under 200. Luckily the house was big enough, and empty enough, to hold either option.

Arcadius never really threw parties before, in about 6 years he had only thrown 2 industry parties. One as a congratulations to his producer friend, who basically discovered him, on his long deserved Grammy win for Producer of the Year. The other to his hip hop Idol friend who was his partner in crime in the early days, a surprise Birthday party years ago. And basically all he did on both occasions was call a party planner and show up. Which wasn’t totally different this go round, except this was a spur of the moment, no real reason Party. He was slightly nervous about it, mainly because he didn’t know half of the people there and didn’t really know what to expect. He decided, that night, that he was just going to dress nice, look cute and be himself and see what happened.

Once the party got going, it felt like more of the same from his dinner conversations. He was either being preached to about gay marriage and other political gay issues or talking about cock rings and slings, he was finding it hard to find any middle ground conversation wise. And every time he tried to talk to one of his close friends in attendance he was always being pulled away by someone knew. Only two people really intrigued him. There was the lead singer from the R&B boy group of about a decade ago. They had met when Arcadius was playing Artist and Part Time Producer for other artists, and this kid reached out to him for material for his solo outing. Nothing materialized, but he remembered they got on well. At the time the kid was just 18 and other than his bubble butt Arcadius wasn’t really attracted, but the kid had matured nicely. He developed a nice frame, and his chocolate complexion evened out post-puberty. The best thing was that he was seemingly wise beyond his years. They talked about the industry and being in LA, and just had a great rapport. Arcadius wasn’t sure if the kid was officially on the Out-list, he knew there had been some horrific rumors about the kid, his group and their manager, but he didn’t know really what was what. He enjoyed talking to him though. However he was the host of the party so he couldn’t sit and talk with him forever.

Later he met Enzo, a restuaranteer in the LA area who owned three popular restaurants. Arcadius was taken by his look, a sort of Indie/Alternative guy with the tatts and ear gages. He couldn’t figure out his race, but he was dark and tall and had a great body. Arcadius was happy to find out that he was so easy to talk to and the odd places their conversations went. At one moment they are bonding about the beauty of Vinyl to discussing Kitty Litter and Wee Wee Pads. Arcadius found Enzo so interesting, and so sexy, he definitely wanted to get to know him better after this party was done.

By around 3am, the last guest left. It was a successful party, successful meaning that everybody was mild mannered and did what they were supposed to… mingle and dance and not mess up the place. It was a little too much for Arcadius though because he was the star of the show, everybody wanted a piece of him and he never had a chance to really relax himself. He met a few new cool people, but overall he decided he’d let other people host from now on.

Arcadius woke up, alone, in his friends home as the clean up crew were doing their thing. He threw on a Tshirt and some jeans and began to collect his things as he left to get back to his town house. One part of his break was to truly not work, but another part was that he was hoping to find some inspirations for his next film project. In a really quick time, he had written and filmed two movies and he was already getting asked over and over what his next project would be. He had no idea, but he hoped being on break and meeting different people would inspire him eventually. He hadn’t been inspired, but he liked to keep notes about interesting people he’d met or interesting things he’d seen. He wanted to get back to his temporary home and jot down those notes on his Macbook.

When he got home, he flipped up the laptop and basically stared at a blank screen for a few hours. Jotting down random things, but nothing of importance or interest. He basically sat and recalled the party and some of the small talk he had, but nothing good enough to form anything out of. Before he knew it, he was zoning out on Red Hot Chilli Peppers and not doing much of anything else. He called out for lunch, a Cobb Salad which he had been craving for two days. He devoured it all and decided to watch some Netflix which eventually made him fall asleep for a good 4 hour nap. He was awaken to his phone alerting him of a text message, once he rubbed his eyes he noticed it was 4 messages. All from Enzo from the party, the cute maybe-Indian maybe-Filipino chef guy.

“Hi” was the first text, “It was great meeting you last night” was the quick followup, “we should chillax soon” and finally “… pick up where we left off”.

Arcadius smiled at all four texts, and was a little put off. He always thought there were strict dating rules about contacting somebody less than 24 hours of meeting. He had never truly dated, other than his now Ex-wife, so he was oblivious to the digital rules of dating. Arcadius was clearly taken by this Chef guy, but he wasn’t sure how to proceed. If texting him right back would make him look desperate, or if it’d make him look like he just wanted sex, or if waiting a day to text back would make him seem uninterested? He decided to just go with it and text back.

For the rest of that night the two of them traded texts back and forth. They got to know each other a bit more, Enzo admitted he was a fan of Arcadius’ music but didn’t know much about his background. Arcadius shared, while Enzo told him all about his family moving from London when he was about 4 years old to LA where his mother was a semi-successful actress and his dad was a go-to surgeon of the area. He got into cooking in Junior High and by the time he was 22 opened his first of three restaurants all over the Southern California map. Enzo, now 34, was working on his fourth restaurant in West Hollywood which was almost done, the two agreed they’d meet there the following day.

Arcadius was impressed by the restaurant and it’s menu. But he was even more impressed by Enzo who continued to surprise him with his interesting life story. They had a ball during lunch, laughing and having great conversation, and enjoying each others company. And before they knew it, two weeks went by and they had spent a good portion of every day in that time together, watching movies, or going out to eat, or just hanging out at eithers homes. Sex actually didn’t come up, until one night when liquor was flowing and talk turned flirty. They started to make out on Enzo’s couch, which quickly led to some groping, and things just stopped. Blame it on the TV, they both got excited when a “making of” special came on for the show they both loved “Downton Abbey”. Once that was over, Arcadius left. Knowing that the next time they met up, more was going to be expected.

Not that he was opposed to sex with the Chef, he just worried things would make a change for the worst. Arcadius really hated thinking in the negative, and was trying to get his mind off all these feelings but he was new to this dating thing. He had heard lots of stories of romance turned bad by all his friends, he didn’t want to make the same bad choices. He began to get too analytical about this Enzo situation, and his only solution was to just stop and let things flow.

The next night, they met up in Hollywood for dinner and Arcadius was the first to speak about the big sexual elephant in the room. He always liked Enzo for being the take-charge, experienced one in this budding relationship and it was the same tonight as Enzo welcomed the conversation. They talked about the sex thing all night, and it got both of them so hot and bothered they barely made it inside the car before they were groping and making out. Arcadius drove back to his place, with Enzo’s hand massaging his member the whole time. Once Arcadius got his front door open, it was full on sexy time.

Enzo was slightly taller than Arcadius, and with a thicker overall frame but Arcadius wasn’t worried about having to flip flop tonight because Enzo told him he was more of a bottom and Arcadius was loving his big muscle butt already. They were so wrapped up in each other, they didn’t even remember how they made it to the bedroom, they both stripped down and hopped on the bed. Details are unnecessary, they did what everybody does. A little sucking, a lot of rimming, and a night full of screwing. They were both in sheer ecstasy for hours as they had very sensual sex, kissing the entire time, caressing each others bodies. It wasn’t just about a quick fuck for either, they were both completely into each other in a very romantic loving way.

Enzo ended up spending the night, and Arcadius felt really good having him next to him. It had only been about 6 months since he came out to the world, and only about 2 months since his “hiatus” began and he felt it was pretty amazing that he was able to find and get close to such an interesting, sexy and loving guy. He counted himself as lucky, and right before the negative thoughts of second-guessing and over-thinking came over him, he fell asleep. He was awaken by a text. He looked over to make sure Enzo was still with him, and he was, and picked up his phone.

“Good Morning” was the text. From The Kid, the R&B boy band guy with the big butt he bonded with at the party. He did want to get to know him better, but he felt slightly awkward reading this text with Enzo, who he unofficially thought of as his new “boo” already. The Kid was really sweet, and was not flirty or sexual with him at all, and he wasn’t even fully sure if The Kid was really OUT or not, so he didn’t see any harm in answering back.

So here it is. My series “OUT with Arcadius”, but just a quick note before you start reading. HE, when I first started this out on Tumblr I was working with the #FlashFiction restrictions, so that’s why they are written this way. Also, I couldn’t think of a name for him right off. In my head he had my name (since he basically is me), but for some reason I didn’t want to use that. So I just used “HE” whenever I was talking about him. That gets confusing and annoying quick, so just bear with it on these first Three chapters as I had given him a name (and got out of the restrictions of #FlashFiction) in the later parts.

I hope you enjoy!!

He Tweeted OUT! (part one)

“yup. I’m a ‘mo” was the tweet he had composed and was now showing his manager. after only a few minutes of explaining that he thought this out and was ready to post it, his manager said “well… why not!?”. was he worried that the tweet would ruin his career? no! was he worried that the tweet would make some his fans abandon him? no! was he worried that mainstream might spin the story and turn public opinion against him? slightly, but for the most part no!

why was this successful and respected recording artist so confident that outing himself to the world wouldn’t affect him in any negative way? several reasons. since 2003 he has established himself as a true artist and his phenomenal record sales and recent tour receipts were proof of this. also, since 2003 he hadn’t uttered one word about his personal life, so he knew that his success was simply based on his music (although it’s true, the mystery surrounding his personal life increased his public profile surely). in the day and age where there were openly gay recording artists as well as artists that championed and spoke out for gays, he felt that if people did have a problem with his outing that they had their own problems and would probably be seen as homophobes.

of course, being a high profile international celebrity, the tweet was followed with meetings between his manager and his publicist on how this would be handled. oprah? anderson? 20/20? “I just want to do ellen’s show”. ellen because he remembered her “yup I’m gay” article in 1997 and was so inspired by how she was able to bounce back and become one of america’s most liked celebrities. she went through a backlash period but she came back, simply because she’s sweet and she’s funny. nobody cares that she’s gay anymore and that’s what he wanted with the rest of his career. he didn’t want to do a months worth of press over it, he just wanted to do one interview and leave it be. making a big deal of being gay is exactly what he didn’t want and if he did all the shows and magazines talking about it, HE would be making it a big deal.

the thing was, he felt really established in his career. he did everything he set out to do and then some. he collected grammy’s, platinum plaques, broke records, and all the while being his weird self. not conforming to what a black male r&b or pop star was supposed be and he was proud of that. whatever the result of his tweet was going to be, bad or good, he felt great about what he had done in his life up until this point and he was ready to continue being himself. gay straight bi or just fucking weird. a bit of a break was looming and he wanted to enjoy himself, being himself during that time.

his manager told him in meetings following his now record breaking tweet that his biggest hurdle was “letting people know that you weren’t fooling them this whole time”. when he released his debut album “1982”, he was constantly speculated to be gay based on his mannerisms, his dance moves and some of his comments. he was the anti-r&b singer and he embraced that. the rumors didn’t bother him at all because he had been dealing with them his whole life. he was delusional about his orientation all his life, so instead of facing the truth he preferred to think that he was just “weird”/“strange” as a way to explain his questionable behavior. he embraced his oddness and it wasn’t long into his career that he really started to play with the gay thing. constantly leaving audiences guessing, be it with some of his music videos that portrayed gay characters, or even his song lyrics like the last verse in his 2007 grammy winning pop hit “fluffer” (radio version re-titled “bluffer”). of course these artistic outputs caused a bit of controversy, people claiming he was using the gay lifestyle to gain more publicity. he always spoke to the fact that many artists have loads of gay fans, but never really acknowledge them so this was his way of doing that. on top of all that, he thought back on his entire career before he published his tweet and realized that he had never, in any interview, denied that he was gay. he never talked about his personal life at all, and he was certain that would look good for him now.

his manager still wanted him to make clear the “questioning phase” he went through from the beginning of his career to his outing. much to his managers happiness, the interview went great, he was honest and funny and likable as usual and the reports from the media on the following day were glowing.

so, he thought “that’s that!”. this didn’t come at an un-busy time for him though. before the tweet he was making his film festival rounds for his directorial debut and getting pretty rave reviews. after the tweet he began shooting his indie mockumentary “hipster” which only took a month. he still had to prep his first film for a limited release and his label was urging him to record new music for that film’s soundtrack.

though he felt like that weight of being an OUT celebrity was done. he wanted his promotional work to be done as well. he now wanted to be out there and get to know his community. of course being an in demand high profile international star, he was always surrounded by gays, but always distanced himself from getting too close. he was married. and he was always ultra cautious of sleeping with random people and having them sell the story the next day. now he had nothing to hide and he wanted to absorb the gay world and feel it out himself.

after he came out, frank ocean did and than anderson cooper. now he became the new face of gays in Hollywood thanks to a cover story on entertainment weekly. it didn’t make him uncomfortable, or increase the size of his ego simply because he was too busy to care. “hope riddim”, his directorial debut earned it’s entire budget back on the first weekend of it’s limited release. and he was getting excited to hit the studio to record songs for the soundtrack. he was most excited to be done with the film that consumed two years of his life and he definitely deserved a break. he let his manager know that after the film got its wide release in september he was not going to do anything until the end of the year. since he came out, he was surprised at the overt flirts in hollywood both gay and “straight”. people seemed too eager for him to start dating, he felt like he just wanted to have fun and really acclimate himself to the gay community. although a few of the boys he encountered really did intrigue him in that way.

specifically a very popular and very cute teen heartthrob he met at a hollywood function who clung to him the whole night. mr. heartthrob initiated the conversation about them having dinner in the future, and honestly he thought mr. heartthrob might have been angling. for a role in a future film of his, or just attaching himself publicity’s sake. the same sort of apprehension and questioning he felt with most people before he was able to get close to them. he took these advances with a grain of salt, kept heartthrobs number with no real intentions on calling.

he honestly wasn’t all that interested in dating right away, but sex was something he was looking forward to, having not had any sex with anybody but himself and his wife for the past 9 years. he openly talked about a porn addiction he developed during the hectic early days of his career. porn was actually one of the catalysts to his sexual questioning. back in those days he wondered why he was so intrigued by gay porn, and then why he seemed to get harder watching gay porn. by 2010, thanks to counseling with his wife, who legally separated from him in 2006, he came to terms with who he was and came out to a select few. yet still, he never sought out a boy to experiment with sexually. 2010 through 2012 were very busy and very successful years for him, but it’s not like he didn’t have the opportunity. he just chose not to indulge and the main reason was fear of a media controversy and potential backlash. now was his time to get his freak on. It wasn’t anything he wanted to rush in to, and all that could wait until the fall as he wanted to stay focused on his tasks at hand.

he didn’t want to do any new music for his films soundtrack, until one night george michael’s “i want your sex” popped up on his itunes. “perfect” he thought. this would be his first single since coming out, and what better than a song by an openly gay artist about sex. recording with stargate reinvigorated him and he ended up with three new songs. his label didn’t seem as excited, another odd reaction from them ever since his tweet. most of his career he was treated like a prince by his label, lately he felt a strange disconnect. he thought it might be due to the film, maybe they thought he might be moving on, than he thought it probably had nothing to do with him and they just had their own issues. he couldn’t shake the feeling that coming out without informing the label caused a slight rift. regardless, he completed his songs and set up dates to shoot two videos. and for some reason he wanted to do something more.

an idea that crossed his mind was performing at a gay pride event. he had performed at pride events before, but he thought this would be special since he was now out. within two weeks, the remake was mastered, the video was shot and he was en route to san francisco, the most appropriate destination being raised in the bay area. it had been over a year since he was on stage so the anticipation got him amped up. he was also amped at the idea of partying with the gays of san francisco. time, unfortunately, was not on his side. arriving at sfo late friday night, than using most of saturday to rehearse. by sunday, the day of his performance, he was able to catch the parade and spent a bit of time with the crowds. at points he felt a bit of hysteria arise when he was noticed, but with a sea of people it was easy to get lost in the crowd again. it was fun, but not the fun he was really looking for.

by the end of june, he saw what became a crush of his again, mr. heartthrob. the kid was 24 years old popular, sexy, and ambiguous as far as his sexuality. and he couldn’t control his sexual fantasies of him. he saw him at a movie premiere, but they weren’t able to talk too long . they saw each other a few times after that and finally decided to have dinner.
at dinner in brea, they had a great time laughing and finding they have a bunch in common. mr. heartthrob went on about being a fan of his music, “since i was little”. with just a 6 year age difference, that made him feel old. he wasn’t really a fan of mr. heartthrob’s work, but saw potential, his compliments were based around that. by the end of dinner they had gotten a little flirty, the bill came and mr. heartthrob (a little tipsy) asked him if he worked out, leading to compliments on his body and a few sexual double entendres mixed in. he felt a little nervous, although that’s what he wanted to hear. he was nervous because he was never a good flirt and was scared his awkwardness in that area would leave him blue-balled.he didn’t know that mr. heartthrob was ready to go, no matter what weirdness came out of his mouth. before they knew it, they were in heartthrob’s hotel room making out. they moved from making out on the couch, to heavy petting on the floor, to carrying heartthrob into the bedroom. heartthrob started to strip and put on a show for him as he undressed and caressed his unit. the usual foreplay ensued, rimming, oral, more kissing and caressing and stroking and then the time came. at least it tried to come.
his thick 10 incher was a problem since the biggest heartthrob had ever attempted was possibly 5 inches, and that’s if that old partner was able to get it up. heartthrob’s sexual misfortune was going to continue tonight because even though he was fully hard, lubed and ready to go, heartthrob was having some serious issues taking him. he was very patient, but heartthrob was both scared and eager. heartthrob really wanted it to go down that night and he was trying everything from dumping lube down his hole, trying to stretch out his hole with fingers, he tonguing his hole deeper to get heartthrob ready, but after nearly two hours of trying, and trying he was only able to barely get the tip of his head in. heartthrob put his mouth to work and got him off, while he worked his fingers on heartthrob to get him off.
cuddled up in bed, they talked about what they should try next time. toys. more intense rimming. the sex talk turned into random talk until they both fell asleep. the morning came and they both had to run, but not without a kiss and a plan to meet up again.

The first time in 28 years that I had actually been fired from a job, but it was all good because I truly did hate that job anyway. The only issue was that it was a graveyard job and it took me awhile to get back into a regular routine. The result was me staying up way late at home, just messing around on the computer and devoting lots of time to music and iTunes.

That’s when the birth of Arcadius came about. I just gave him that name a few months ago, but this whole thing started from a playlist idea. I decided, hey… imagine if I had some sort of vocal talent, what type of music would I make?!? I started putting together a playlist of what would have been my debut album.

From there, the whole history of myself as a recording artist started to develop. What his image would be, what he wanted his legacy to be, what he would stand up for, what his controversies in the media would be like and so on and so on. Now, 5 years later, I’m writing about it.

My “OUT with Arcadius” series actually begins Spring of 2012 and will eventually catch up to current times. “OUT with Arcadius” simply details this stars life once he Tweets his “coming out” to the world. At this point, Arcadius is a really really huge star. Think the fame of say Usher and Justin Timberlake, but the respect of say Sting or Jack White. He had managed to step outside the box of being just an Urban/R&B singer and now was having huge hits worldwide and huge hits on Rock charts as well as R&B and Dance.

At some point I think I will post the details of his coming up. However, I wanted to post this as an introduction before I begin posting the stories.