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On behalf of homosapiens everywhere (you know, people with feet), I've got a bone to pick with you. Here's the deal: I need a new pair of brown heels. Simple, stylish, unadorned brown pumps that don't cost a fortune.

Crazy, right?

Well, apparently all of you think so. Because on my recent shopping excursions, I haven't found a single pair of this wardrobe staple that meet my needs.

Instead, I've seen rows and racks of snakeskin, round toes, patent leather, embellishments, flats, kitten heels, 4-inch heels and other assortments of looks I don't want. Some of them, I don't have a problem with (yes, Nine West, I did buy your pretty camel wedges with the buckle detail). But a girl can only have so many kitten heels and snakeskin shoes in her closet.

I prefer a mid-range heel, and an open-toe would be nice for the summer. Instead, I nearly got motion sickness wading through a whole lot of ugly on two trips to DSW. There are hundreds of shoes at that store!!! How in the name of all that is good and wearable can I not find one measly pair of suitable brown heels?!!?!

Good for you if you want to go gladiator again this season. But I can't wear many of those sandals to work, don't care much for the style and am convinced that all those straps and cut-outs must lead to one wacky foot tan.

Here's to hoping this is just a temporary funk. And that maybe in future brainstorming sessions, you give a little more consideration to fashion-inclined, mall-trolling women who don't want to look like hookers, Egyptian goddesses or those poor runway models who tip over when they walk.

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Looking for shopping deals in Tampa Bay? The Deal Divas are on the prowl, sniffing out hot fashion finds that won't leave your wallet in ruins. Now you never have to miss a shopping deal! Check in often for the lowdown on local bargains, as well as fashion advice, fun photos and style news. Disclaimer: The content of this blog is produced by the editorial staff of the Times and is not tied to advertising. Email us ideas you'd like us to write about.