And this: “We’re not going to debase ourselves by accepting handouts from some sociopath tech bro. Do you think throwing a few million dollars at underprivileged kids absolves you of all the terrible shit you’ve done? Get real.”

Zuckerberg’s baby daughter even contributed: “When you really think about it, it’s not that surprising that you got the whole idea for your big website when you were in college and wanted a way to vote on which girls you thought were pretty. If only you’d just had enough self-esteem to trust that you’d eventually marry someone nice like Mommy, then maybe all this trouble could’ve been avoided.”

More articles are reportedly on the way, so the war is far from over. Keep an eye on the Onion’s Twitter page to keep tabs on what’s coming next, or better yet, go give them some clicks on their actual website — Facebook certainly won’t.