Sidebar: can we TALK about LuAnn falling in those fucking bushes in Mexico on RHONY!? The fact that she fell twice and Ramona just straight up ignored her and let those poor men who worked at the resort help her up and drag her no-longer-a-countess ass (but can you believe it, girls? she’s married! shout out to the watch what crappens guys!) back to her room? IT MADE ME LOVE HER SO MUCH AGAIN! LuAnn has always vacillated between having the BIGGEST stick up her ass and being a fucking mess on a Sonja Morgan morning after a big night out level. She literally has no middle ground. And now she is headed back into the FUN LUANN!

my most used gif! IT’S LITERALLY THE BEST ONE. image source: tenor.co

Anyway, even though she is allegedly already beating her philandering potato of a husband in public (see: Page Six who always has the best housewives goss), you KNOW LuAnn ain’t gonna get divorced in less than six months. She has to prove all of the haters wrong! Why can’t us bitches just be happy for her? Anyway, I hope homegirl cashes in on her new persona and comes out with her own line of booze, D’Agastino D’Apertifs. I will drink THE SHIT out of that!

“did you know I actually invented skinnygirl? and this haircut?” image source: giphy.com

ANYWAY, where were we? Bethenny would be so pissed that I went off on such a long-winded LuAnn tangent. Cue the “are you kidding me? are you KIDDING me? are YOU kidding me? are you kidding ME?” Ramona Singer word emphasis jamboree montage. But onto more important things- like da BOOZE!

a jaunty straw makes everything better! well, hopefully…

So, UNFORTCH, the white peach is not any better than the traditional Skinnygirl marg. If anything, it’s WORSE. It tastes like the first step of a margarita. Like an unfinished margarita. It sort of is like a mixture of a sugar-free peach lifesaver, rubbing alcohol and screaming nonsense. My husband said it tasted like a cheap beer gone sour. Wow, high praise!

get off MY jock! image source: giphy.com

Honestly, the weird thing is that all of the non-margarita Skinnygirl drinks I have had have been pretty good. Like I won’t make it my everyday drink (I am guessing most of the places I frequent don’t stock Skinnygirl White Cranberry Cosmo, don’t tell BFrank), but I also actually finished the bottle instead of just glaring at it for taking up valuable wine rack space every time I opened my fridge. I think if I added some triple sec, maybe diet sprite and additional tequila to this, it might be pretty good? But that is like saying if you add all of those things to an empty glass, you would have a cocktail.