She’s the…she wrote that super bad BDSM trilogy ‘Fifty Shades’. It’s also that movie, with like…Dakota Something and Jamie Whatsisface.

Lyle: Oh. Her. I didn’t realize she wrote more than that.

Actually, she really didn’t. It’s the exact same story, it’s just a Twilight fic instead of something original. It’s the exact same thing as Fifty Shades, word per word basically, just with changed names.

Lyle: *looks at the bag of gummy worms and then hands them to Angie* I’m going to need something stronger than this. You go ahead and get started. I’ll be back in a minute.

Oh no, Lyle. I’ve got alcohol right here. *opens cabinet built into desk* But if you must, I’ll get a head start.

Lyle: I was thinking coffee but that works, too. *grabs a bottle of wine from the cabinet, pops the cork, and takes a swig right from it.*

Well, guess there’s no use fighting it anymore. Let’s dive into the “fan fiction”, Master of the Universe.

Welcome to the second chapter of this short little fic that, thus far, hasn’t really done much. In the first chapter, Kaname arrived at Ouran with Sousuke not far behind. In what was probably their first class, Sousuke assaulted Tamaki-senpai which – for some reason – made Tamaki-senpai insist that Sousuke join the host club. Sousuke – also for no apparent reason – decided to agree to join even though he probably doesn’t understand what is going on.

Now to the next chapter, which is titled The hosts. It’s possible that it’s going to be a chapter introducing the various hosts, but that’s just my theory.

This chapter contains potential flamebait in the form of discussion of sexual assault and date rape. No military component this time, though, just the regular versions.

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome to yet another chapter of Love of a Spartan.

Last time, the Hercules stopped over on Reach for a poorly-planned resupply run, where Kelly tried to drive a wedge between Edward and Renee by telling the idiot Marine that the idiot Spartan had ‘dumped’ her with no explanation or preamble. Terrifyingly, this was plan was entirely successful. Renee left with the other Marines and excuses for Marines to have some kind of celebration in the city around the military base (it’s all extremely vague), and Edward asked Amy to give her the message that Kelly lied even though he was five feet away from Renee at the time and could have just fucking told her himself.

Hey, guys, I’ve finally dug myself out of the pile of stuff that built up while I was away, so now I’m ready to jump back into Heroes and Villains. As always, I’m hoping that something happens this week. With me again is Eliza, who also enjoyed her time off.

“Hi!”

That’s it?

“Hi, everybody!?”

Okay then. Let’s hit the recap: Last time Dr. Horrible wandered around the volcano lair for a bit before he stumbled upon totally-not-Aluwyn, who fed him a bunch of Foreboding Pretentious Vagueness™ in hopes of [error: motivation not found]. Presumably Aluwyn is trying to drive a wedge between Dr. Horrible and Elsa so that Willow can move in and set up a three way with Aluwyn and Elsa. Those who’ve read the comic will recognize this as a perfectly sensible motivation for Aluwyn. After that, Horrible headed over to Elsa’s room to have a little smalltalk with her. Meanwhile, Willow confronts totally-not-Aluwyn about her talk with Dr. Horrible. This confrontation ends in more Foreboding Pretensions Vagueness™ and also ends the chapter.

GoodJamags: Last time, Dick spent half the chapter babbling about how awesome the Sue is.

This time, though, we’re in for a treat. I’d like to make it clear that I haven’t snipped anything (Ever, actually – you’ve sat through every word of both fics I’ve riffed so far. Lucky you.), here. The fic just jumps straight from Dick’s waxing suefluenced to having an actual scene.