Marlboro Man and I took a two-day trip recently, and because it’s been cold, I left Charlie at the house when we left. As we pulled away from the house, I sent Josh a text message and asked him if he would drop by and pick up Charlie. And, oh, babysit him for two days.

And feed him, too.

And while he’s at it: scratch his ears and whisper into his ear what a floppy, sweet, luscious dog he is.

Then I texted Josh back. “Would you mind letting him sleep inside? It’s going to be really, really cold.”

Then he wrote back. “No problem. I let him sleep in my house all the time.”

The dastardly devil. I knew it. I just knew it! After months (years, actually) of having to drive to pick up Charlie up at Josh’s place, of suspecting Josh of letting him in his house at night and, probably, giving him pedicures and sausage, Josh finally copped to it. He probably didn’t even mean to admit it; it just slipped out.

Well, I’ll tell you what: Josh had better keep his grubby, manure-caked and work-toughened hands off my dog from now on!

Except when I need to go out of town for a couple of days.

Later that day, I texted Josh. I wanted to check on Charlie.

“How’s Charlie?” I texted.

Josh replied by texting me a photo of Charlie sacked out on his floor.

He’s a man of very few words, that Josh.

The next day, after I’d heard that our area had received a big snow, I texted Josh again.

“How’s Charlie?” I texted.

Josh replied by texting me a photo of Charlie sacked out on his sofa.

Josh and I have a wonderful unspoken language between us.

The next day, as Marlboro Man and I were driving home, Josh called him. The two fellas chatted for a bit as I braced myself while looking out the window at the solid sheet of ice on which we were traveling, occasionally screaming things like “Be careful!” and “Look out! There’s black ice ahead!” and “I think I just felt us hydroplane!”

And don’t get me started on what I’m like driving up a mountain. “You’re about to hit the guard rail!”

“That’s an 8,000 foot plunge over there, honey!”

“We’re going over the edge! I just know it!”

I’m so much fun to travel with.

Anyway, after Marlboro Man spoke with Josh for awhile, he laughed and hung up the phone.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Oh,” Marlboro Man answered. “Josh said he’s ready for us to get home. He said Charlie’s got him on a two-hour schedule and he’s just about had it.”

So I guess it took Charlie about thirty minutes in Josh’s house before Charlie decided he was going to have some fun with his new mark. He’d wait until Josh sat down to relax…or stretched out to take a nap…or got under the covers and go to bed at night…then he’d saunter on over and ask to be let out. But then Josh was so worried about him because of the freezing weather, he’d go outside with Charlie and hang out while Charlie sniffed around and laughed silently that for the next day or two anyway, he had Josh eating out of the palm of his hand.

Oh, believe me. I know Charlie. If I don’t stay at the top of my game, the next thing I know he’s taken total control of me. He’s the most manipulative dog on the planet, and I don’t know why imagining the sight of Josh doing Charlie’s bidding makes me smile with such satisfaction…but it does. I don’t think Josh will be giving Charlie any more pedicures any time soon.

When we got home that afternoon, Josh brought Charlie to us within four minutes. “I’m ready to have a life again,” he said, before getting in his pickup and peeling out of our drive.

371 Comments and 51 Replies

angie r On Thursday, January 13 at 6:42 pm

I agree! It’s so important to have good guys in your life. And this post, Ree, was hilarious. I can just visualize you calling/ texting every 5 minutes to check on your dog.
Always an inspiration!
*http://mothersofbrothersblog.blogspot.com
*
MOV

okiegirl01 On Friday, January 14 at 12:11 pm

I want Josh!

Megaen G On Friday, January 14 at 1:53 pm

After reading yesterday’s post and today’s, I have to agree with Angie! You have some AWESOME men in your life!!!

Tinkeriffic On Saturday, January 15 at 3:21 pm

Blessed to have really sweet pets as well….What happened to the cow who used to sneak her head througn an open window? I miss seeing her.
And KittyKitty aka K2? Where is he/she hanging out?
I am without a pet for the first time in decades and I’ve virtually adopted yours Ree, so I gotta know that are haning out and having fun.

Tinkeriffic – you’ll likely not see this but I thought I’d give it a try. Your name caught my eye because I’m a 12th generation Tinker. And, Tinkers are from Oklahoma and since you are here on PW’s site, I thought I’d try dropping you a line to say we might be related if Tinker is your last name. All my people are from Pawhuska / Bartlesville which is where PW is also from. Anyway, my email is attached to my name…

karen On Thursday, January 13 at 6:42 pm

Susan in MO On Thursday, January 13 at 6:43 pm

Charlie is a character

Karen On Friday, January 14 at 8:23 pm

Sounds like Charlie is related to my Jack Russell!
That dog was so manipulative that we had to watch my M-I-L so she wouldn’t cook him steak, walk around at night for 2 hours, and feel so bad for that “sweet puppy”!
I’m glad to know there are other little men in dog suits around.

Karnes City Kameleon On Thursday, January 20 at 3:53 am

Or in my case one cat named Jack. I’ve always been a dog person. Never owned a cat. But when I proposed to my wife of 4 years, I got told she and Jack, and girl kitty aka Sydney, were a package deal. Done! Now Jack rules the roost. I try to ignore him best I can but when he wants to be fed something special he has this habit of sitting at my feet and staring up at me. (he has a bowl of regular dry food that stays full at his behest but he has a penchant for pink canned salmon, yes the kind that is obstensively made for human consumption, and get this….vanilla ice cream….or more precisely Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla more affectionately known as BB Banilla. Hagan Das won’t do don’t ya know) If I don’t acknowledge him within a minute or two, he puts his paw on my knee and inserts a single claw into said knee. Through my dungarees. And progressively deeper if I continue to ignore him. Should my wife and I have the rare luxury of sleeping in but he decides we need to get up he’ll start the process of awakening us by rattling the blinds. He then moves onto knocking stuff off the nightstands and dresser. Eye glasses, IPhones, change, watches, jewlery etc. etc. If that has not done the trick he will jump up on and run across the bed width wise making sure that his steps across are placed just precisely so. That means on our hips, butt or shoulders depending on how we’re positioned at that particular moment. It happens in an instant before you even know what hit you. And on the rare occasion that has not finally awakened us, he will jump up and stand on my head. I mostly sleep on my side. He positions all four of his pointy little paws on the side of my face (picture a tiger at the circus standing atop one of those special made circus tiger tall stool type things that barely have enough room for the tiger to fit all four of his paws on) and stoops down in such a manner that he is staring directly into my eyes. That is what I see when I am awakened by the weight of a seventeen pound cat standing on the side of my head. His head bent over from behind my head looking at me and demanding that I get up. Ain’t smart cats wonderful! This is already much too long winded but I just came here to get a sauteed mushroom steak topper recipe but it looks like I’ll most likely be stoppin by more often.

Heidi S. On Thursday, January 13 at 6:55 pm

That is great!!! I have two basset hounds, so I totally feel your pain. I also have an 11 month old, so there is NEVER a dull moment in our house! Poor Josh, sounds like Charlie is great practice for that baby he can’t wait to have…..manipulation? Check!!!

Heather On Sunday, January 16 at 1:20 pm

That is so sweet of him to take care of your dog but it’s hilarious!!! Dog-sitting is great practice for having kids!!!! He better just wait, he has no idea! Every 2 hours is the sleep he will be getting when he has a newborn

26

Kath On Thursday, January 13 at 7:00 pm

Our dog “Sweetie” does the exact same thing. She is sitting here as I type sending me messages that she just ate her dinner and it is time for her rawhide. If I ignore her, soon she will paw at me to get me moving. Demanding dog! But, so cute I can’t deny her. BTW, I am the exact same kind of car passenger that you describe. I am amazed that my husband hasn’t left me standing along the road somewhere!

27

Amber On Thursday, January 13 at 7:01 pm

Oh boy…isn’t that the truth about those dang basset hounds. I got pushed/kicked out of my bed this morning so that my beloved basset could stretch out…I was so mad than I turned around and saw his face and just said “okay, you’re right I needed to get outta bed and get ready for work”…those dang bassets…

And as for Josh – he’s a hottie and any woman would be lucky to have him. He’s a doll!! He is still single right?

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie! What a hoot! You’re right, when your brother-in-law has a child, he will melt into a puddle on the floor. That’s what happened to my husband when the first of our seven children was born! He’s been putty in their hands ever since!

36

Mary C. On Thursday, January 13 at 7:14 pm

The best thing about this post was knowing I am not the only one screaming and telling my husband how to drive! My two girls think I’m nuts, which I might be, but I’m not alone!!

BJ in Austin Tx On Friday, January 14 at 9:35 am

ha ha ha ha….it’s the mountain driving that gets me crazy! I have to just close my eyes!

First Tim, then Josh? What’s next? Can you put some Marlboro Man frosting on that cupcake? Josh is such a cutie patootie. Or as I imagine they say on the prairie, “That shore is some purdy cowboy eye-candy you got there, Miss Ree!”

Leah S On Thursday, January 13 at 7:30 pm

What’s really sad, now I know what my dog is doing to me. He’s probably thinking the same thing Charlie is too.

50

Peggy McKita On Thursday, January 13 at 7:30 pm

Charlie is a real character. He does have the life. By The way what ever happen to the kitty that came to the ranch ? Not Kitty Kitty the newer one.

51

MD On Thursday, January 13 at 7:31 pm

You let Cowboy Josh know that I love animals, including cowboys I am a card carrying member of MENSA and I also happen to be very attractive (and modest), I’m in excellent health,, and am a hell of a good cook. I am funny & witty & silly and just generally a pretty damn happy person. I also have an empty uterus that doesn’t have any plans for the next few years.

Oh, wait. I’m already married. Eh… details.

Karen On Thursday, January 13 at 8:28 pm

I was wondering why Ree doesn’t have him hooked up with anyone yet since is wanting children of his own. I too am married but Josh sounds like he would be a fine husband and father. (for someone other than us married women)

BJ in Austin Tx On Friday, January 14 at 9:38 am

now that’s funny!

52

Vicki in GA On Thursday, January 13 at 7:31 pm

Now, I’m a woman of age, but, dang, you have some handsome men around you all the time! Lucky lady!

53

Caroline in Tennessee On Thursday, January 13 at 7:32 pm

I imagine there a lots of young girls that visit this site that will be glad to have Josh a little baby! Not only does he sound like he’d be a great dad – he’s a cutie patootie!

Brandi On Thursday, January 13 at 7:42 pm

barb On Thursday, January 13 at 7:43 pm

Too funny!My two dogs,Trunks and Bella are just like that with my husband,they won’t leave him alone,constantly getting in his face,love it!

61

Sandy On Thursday, January 13 at 7:43 pm

I take care of Tulip (black lab) and my husband spoils her. When we’re eating, she ignores me and sits 1 foot away from him, staring. I tell her “house” and she goes to her bed. He tells her “house” and she stares at him, unmoving. She knows who the sucker is.

62

Lori On Thursday, January 13 at 7:44 pm

Your Charlie and my dog must be related. I have discussed with my husband on numerous occasions the option of installing a revolving door to address our dog’s constant indecision about which side of the door he wishes to be on.

63

Elaine On Thursday, January 13 at 7:45 pm

So, it IS Basset hounds! Our Basset hound, Wally, had my husband totally trained. Something I was never able to do. Love them, but I’ll never have another Basset Hound. Never. They’re too smart for me!

Rachael in Ga On Thursday, January 13 at 7:50 pm

Grace On Thursday, January 13 at 7:52 pm

Oh that is tooooooooooooooo funny! I needed to be made to smile today. I was made to smile, and studying history all day does NOT make me smile.
Happy New Year!

Grace

73

Sandi On Thursday, January 13 at 7:54 pm

Whoa! Wait a minute. Cowboy Josh can’t wait to have children? First there were rumors of hosting the Ranchelor, then rumors of a girlfriend, and now kids? Did we skip right past the wedding part? There is no way on God’s green earth he could have gotten married without your writing at least a dozen posts giving us all the nitty gritty info, plus a hundred (give or take) pictures!

TexasLea On Friday, January 14 at 10:25 am

I was wondering the same thing! We need a more detailed update here Ree. If another one of those cute cowboys is getting hitched the least you could do is to tell us all the details and post pics of him on the big day so we can see how nice he cleans up.

Or is it that Cowboy Josh is just starting to feel it’s time for another rowdy friend to settle down and he’s on the hunt for the right girl now? If so, I want to go pop me some popcorn and watch you playing match maker.

Our animals own us, don’t they!! My little dog, Chloe does the same sort of thing. I sit down to dinner, she wants out. I plop my butt down on the couch, she wants out. I’m in the office on the phone, she wants out.

80

kris with a k On Thursday, January 13 at 8:05 pm

Can so totally relate, as the mother of 2 2-legged and 2 4-legged “children”! Kids, dogs, the hoops are frighteningly similar…I just want to know if I can bring my own popcorn and watch the future show, too

Lolo On Thursday, January 13 at 8:12 pm

Our doggie has a mind of her own, but dang she is cute and impish. Glad I had kids first.

85

Maria On Thursday, January 13 at 8:16 pm

Bless his heart. Charlie’s heart, that is.

86

Christina AKA: Mom to 3 bratsets On Thursday, January 13 at 8:18 pm

I so know what Josh was dealing with. I deal with this on a daily basis. You have to realize when you get a basset that you now do everything they want when they want and that is what your life is to be till you end up in a straight jacket. I have 3 that run me around all day.

PAMELA On Thursday, January 13 at 8:21 pm

Great post! I can SO see all that happening He’s in for a shocker when he does have kids!

90

Theresa in Alberta On Thursday, January 13 at 8:21 pm

I hope charlie sprung for pizza

91

Seattle Victoria On Thursday, January 13 at 8:23 pm

I think we all need a Cowboy Josh update, does he have anyone wanting to have his baby excluding your blog followers? We need to find him a girlfriend…and I’m too far away!

92

Kelly in PA On Thursday, January 13 at 8:24 pm

I totally understand freaking out about steep drops right next to the road. Don’t ever go for a ride on Skyline Drive in NC. I was whimpering and hyperventilating, and this was in the summer! It must be even worse for someone who is used to miles and miles of flat land.

93

Courtney B. On Thursday, January 13 at 8:32 pm

I feel for Josh, my dog Kody does the same thing to my sister when we visit.