the white balance seems correct in that one. the picture may be a VERY LITTLE over saturated.

the main thing about picture one that i didnt like is the white balance. puts a nice blue hue on everything. also, the skin on her leg is almost blown out, very distracting. the pose is a lot better in picture 1 though.

The problem you're having in both of these is that there is too much balance between her and the background, to the point that she doesn't pop out of it. The simplest way to deal with that would probably be to either dial up the fill flash or use a reflector or similar to direct light to her.

edit: I did a rough edit to give you an idea what I'm talking about. Don't put too much stock in the edit, but think about using light to register similar effects in the future.