Les
Kotzer, an estate attorney, wants to talk about
families — not taxes — with his clients.
“I want to see people leave a legacy where
families are still talking” after the death
of their parents, he said.

Kotzer
and his partner, Barry Fish, have published “The
Family Fight: Planning to Avoid It,” an easy-to-understand
how-to book on writing wills, dealing with second
marriages, guardianships, living wills, power of
attorney and more.

Kotzer
said, “What I am seeing in my work is a real
explosion of family fighting. It makes me sad because
I come from an extremely close family.”

Today
baby boomers are inheriting from their Depression-era
parents, he explained. “We’re the spending
generation. What I see in my office would surprise
people. Behind closed doors, I see parents who saved
and have a lot of money and boomers who have mortgages
and are spending beyond their means. They are depending
on their parents’ inheritance. Barry and I
focus on saving families.”

He
told of the couple who got out of an expensive sports
car; the man wearing a long, mink coat. “They
looked rich. When I asked them what investments
they had, he said he had lost a lot of it through
the dot.coms. They had a big mortgage and a leased
car. ‘Well, what do you own?’ I asked.
It turns out they didn’t own much.

“When
I asked what he does, his wife said, ‘Harry
is a waiter; he’s waiting for his inheritance.’”

Kotzer
said he often hears clients say “I hate my
brother” or “My sister’s a crook.”
Or, “When my parents go, I’ll have lots
of money.” “What I’m hearing,”
he said, “is the dynamic for a fight. My partner
and I believe there is a problem out there and we
believe it will get worse before it gets better.”

The
book “seems to have hit a nerve. It’s
not the boring tax aspects. In plain language, we
walk people through this difficult area,”
he said.

Talking
about splitting up assets after the death of parents
is often a difficult subject to broach. “I
hear ‘I can’t talk about this with my
parents’ or ‘how do I broach this with
my kids.’” The book gives families a
way to start talking before they have to face the
inevitable.

Kotzer
said one little word can divide a family and keep
siblings from talking for the rest of their lives.
For example, “one word destroyed a family
— antique. Mother’s will said ‘I
leave my antiques to my daughter.’ There was
a 1960s clock that her son wanted, but the daughter
maintained that it was an antique and all the antiques
were hers. The son said something from the 1960s
wasn’t an antique.”

There
is a lot of stuff that doesn’t go to court,
Kotzer said. “Families won’t go to court
over a clock or china cabinet, but they might stop
talking to each other because of it.”

The
authors’ goal is to get people talking. “Equality
in a will doesn’t always mean being fair,”
Kotzer said. “We tell parents never assume
goodwill among your children and grandchildren or
sons- and daughters-in-law.

“If
you want to leave things to certain family members,
do it yourself. Don’t leave it to chance.
If you don’t have a will, the government will
split your estate up for you.”

For
more information on “The Family Fight,”
go to www.familyfight.com or call toll-free (877)
439-3999. Through August, the book is $19.95, which
includes shipping and handling.