To begin with I have been debating if I should post this question because I feel I know what the answers most likely will be but I am looking more for some insight from people who have been in similar situations than an opinion of my situation. At least from my perspective I am not looking for replies about the risks of cuckolds or threesomes. Instead I am looking for some insight.

Before getting to the question I feel it is necessary to give some background information. My wife and I have been married about 20 years. During this time we have had a few mfm threesomes and done an occasional cuckolds during our marriage. Most of the experiences happened during one part of marriage the part where after a few years after doing all of the wild places you could have sex and all of the positions you can try there is very little else you can do. Well, at that point we had a few experiences, both threesomes and cuckold, but then we moved away from it.

Overall I feel we have good communication and can talk about anything. We do not have "taboo" subjects and we are open enough with each other that we can, I feel, talk about anything. Personally, I would say we are close and see other as our soul mates.

After they ended we went on with our lives but the subject began to come again. We would go through a cycle on the subject where she started acting though she was considering the idea, then it started to seem as though she would be willing to have the experience before completely rejecting the idea. So for the last couple of years I have come to realize that those experience comprised one part of our relationship, which I have been gladly to accept that may never happen again.

About a year ago things seemed to change a bit. Before it would be me who would be the only one talking about threesomes. Now, she has started making "off the wall comments" to me, in a teasing sort of way by saying "Why are you rushing me out the door so that your girlfriend can come over?" then she would follow up by saying, "the idea would turn me on immensely but I would be pissed." Also she sometimes will stay up late at night, especially the weekends, and sometimes I will say so why were you up so late, the reply I sometimes get is, "I was out late with my boyfriend." to which I would reply, "I bet that was quite enjoyable and I would definitely would like to see that happen." Usually, in the past, if I made that comment I would get a comment like, "it will never happen" or "enjoy the fantasy because it is not happening." Thirdly she now will point out guys, most celebrities she finds hot and would not mind "doing". These comments are very random and very unpredictable. Final point regarding this development, the one thing in the last year has been missing from her is the fact she not going through the extremes with the subject, from acting as though she is considering it before pulling back from it. It seems as though she has more of an "even keel" on the subject and she is now bringing up the subject. Whereas, I am holding back by not making threesome or cuckold related comments.

Where I feel we are at is that we are "playing" around with the idea, as a one-time experience? The few brief conversations we have had seems to be split on the idea of cuckold or threesome. From the past she was more at ease with the cuckolds but wants me there for security in so she tends to prefer the mfm. Our communication tends to be short discussions over a long period versus a few lengthy discussions.

My question what is happening here? Is she opening up to the idea of threesome or cuckold again? If so, what do you feel would work best, threesome or cuckold? Also, how do I support her with it? Alternatively, if you feel she is not opening up to the idea, then why is she randomly bringing threesome / cuckold related stuff up? What does that mean? Simply stated I am trying to understand my wife's recent behavior as it relates to this subject and understand if her attitude is changing?

From my understanding of cuckolds vs. threesomes, is threesomes you get pleasure, cuckold you do not. Also, with a cuckold it's more a of a mindfuck to know your wife is fucking another man and you can't do anything about it. Correct me if I'm wrong.

The biggest question lies with you, I would think. With either one, she's shagging another guy. The variable in this situation is you, that is whether you enjoy the thought of her shagging other men and almost taunting you, or you enjoy participating.

Also, you mentioned her jokingly "meeting up with her boyfriend" and you agreeing to that. I think her bringing it up is almost a test to see if you're really all right with the idea. Almost as a "testing the waters". Her becoming more "even keel" might be a way of her coming to terms that's not a bad thing to have these thoughts and is acclimating to the idea.

Sounds exciting Yorkie. My girlfriend and I are also a little curious about those kind of things, but just not sure how to go about it. I think she's afraid I will go off her if I were to share her with another man.

Sounds to me like she's giving you some not so subtle hints she wants to do it again.

Run with it, man!

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How do your run with it? That has been the struggle for me. If I push too much or is too obvious she will pull back. My feeling has been creating a situation where it could happen naturally but I am not creative, more logical. So, I tend to talk myself out of it because I can see the potential pitfalls.

Sounds exciting Yorkie. My girlfriend and I are also a little curious about those kind of things, but just not sure how to go about it. I think she's afraid I will go off her if I were to share her with another man.

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We have a fairly open relationship, in the sense we can talk about the issue without upsetting the other, and she knows it would not upset me and we have had the experience before so she knows it will not effect me. The last time we had a cuckold experience the guy, was a bit worried and could not keep it up, and I feel it has impacted her a bit. I know the idea, again, tempts her but not sure how to get her over the hump.

From my understanding of cuckolds vs. threesomes, is threesomes you get pleasure, cuckold you do not. Also, with a cuckold it's more a of a mindfuck to know your wife is fucking another man and you can't do anything about it. Correct me if I'm wrong.

The biggest question lies with you, I would think. With either one, she's shagging another guy. The variable in this situation is you, that is whether you enjoy the thought of her shagging other men and almost taunting you, or you enjoy participating.

Also, you mentioned her jokingly "meeting up with her boyfriend" and you agreeing to that. I think her bringing it up is almost a test to see if you're really all right with the idea. Almost as a "testing the waters". Her becoming more "even keel" might be a way of her coming to terms that's not a bad thing to have these thoughts and is acclimating to the idea.

Either way, best of luck to you and I'd love to know the outcome.

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Hi Squeak,

You do get pleasure from a cuckold but not in the same way you would in a threesome. The pleasure in a threesome comes from visual stimuli and being able to experience it. I know some will say that cuckolds are a BDSM activity that involves domination and submission. For me, it is not about submission or humiliation. Instead the pleasure form a cuckold comes from several sources which includes knowing she is going to physically enjoy herself, hearing about it, "sex smell", and using the stories to fuel some steamy nights together. At least for me, it goes beyond a mind fuck, it more about imaging and a bit about smell. At least in my opinion, the pleasure comes from knowing what she is doing and it is something she is enjoying.

Moving on to the last part of your reply, my feeling you hit it "right on the nose" that she is "testing the waters" and acclimating to the idea that is not a bad idea. Allot of the times she say, "meeting up with her boyfriend" at very unexpected times. For me I am trying to figure out how to make her comfortable with the idea and not rush her faster then what she is comfortable doing. At least from my experience, it needs to be at a slow and calculated pace.

Sorry for taking a while to respond I was hoping to get a few more replies but I do immensely appreciate the replies received so far. My questions is how to you move this forward in a slow and calculated way?

Sorry for taking a while to respond I was hoping to get a few more replies but I do immensely appreciate the replies received so far. My questions is how to you move this forward in a slow and calculated way?

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After posting this I debated if "...slow and calculated way" was a bit vague and decided after much deliberation to clarify it.

What seems to be working, so far, is taking it slow and letting mrs. yorkiesmurf to get comfortable with the idea by letting her bring up the idea. Now, we are at the point where she jokes with me, on occasion, about me "having my girlfriend come over" when she is going to be gone and I joke about her "having a boyfriend" without her getting upset about it. At least for the moment I feel as though I have found the pace we need to travel at for this but where I am struggling is trying to figure out the next few incremental steps. The risk I feel is if the step is too large or it is pushed she will revert back to where we were about a year ago with this. So when I say "...slow and calculated" I mean trying to find a way forward by using small steps taken at a slow pace and without pressure in order to explore if will lead to another cuckold experience.