Nfl Draft A Circus That Attracts Clowns

May 1, 1985|By Jerry Greene of The Sentinel Staff

NEW YORK — Well, the NFL has held its 50th annual draft. And though this one did not have any Bernie Kosars, any acrobats or any jugglers in the normal sense, the draft still is one of the strangest one-day circuses of modern times.

This draft did have a circus attraction in William Perry, the surprising first-round pick of the Chicago Bears. Perry plays defensive line -- all of it. Known as ''The Refrigerator,'' Perry, a Clemson product, weighs somewhat less than the Empire State Building but somewhat more than the cast of ''Cats.''

Perry endeared himself to all of us last year by summing up the anguish of playing under NCAA probation when he said: ''The worst thing about probation is not being able to watch television for two years.''

Those Clemson guys, what a bunch of clowns.

But we have digressed. Back to the ambiance of the draft, which is similar to the ambiance of a party ashtray after New Year's Eve.

The draft is conducted in the sub-basement of a New York hotel. For some perverse reason, all the activity is confined to an area the size of a handball court, forcing the few hundred folks involved into tripping over each other and thousands of TV cables from dawn until late at night.

The representatives from the San Francisco 49ers were the first to arrive, which may say something about why that organization won the Super Bowl. These guys were ready -- considering that it was a little before 7 a.m. (4 a.m. on the West Coast), and they wouldn't pick for nearly four hours.

It's hard to talk about predraft tension, because most of the club representatives acted like Shriners on vacation. Only the two guys from the Jets were jumpy. They nearly died when one was hit by a book of matches, fearing that it was the first bombardment from the Jets and Giants fans surrounding the selectors on a narrow balcony above.

As it turned out, the matches were thrown by the guys representing Green Bay. Those Green Bay guys, what a bunch of clowns.

The representatives of the Jets knew the attack couldn't have been initiated by their fans -- because the matches weren't burning.

Still, to be on the safe side, the Jets picked wide receiver Al Toon of Wisconsin. It was a good move because the fans were chanting, ''We want a wideout, we want a wideout.'' Once Toon was taken, the chant changed to ''Bye- bye, Wesley, goodbye,'' as a tribute to current Jets receiver Wesley Walker.

Those Jets fans, what a bunch of clowns.

Buffalo had no problem announcing Bruce Smith was the No. 1 pick in the draft. They signed him two months ago. Smith made a token appearance so that a dozen token photographers could take a thousand token photos of Smith holding up a token Bills jersey. One enterprising photographer took a picture of Smith holding another framed picture of Smith. The first double-mug shot.

Though the Bills moved quickly, the draft ground to a half when it was Minnesota's turn to make the second pick. Kosar already had whamboozled the Vikings so that he wouldn't have to live in Minnesota. The problem now was finding somebody who would live up there.

Bill Fralic, the blue-chip offensive lineman from Pitt, wouldn't go. So the Vikings finally traded their pick to Atlanta, where Fralic would bask in the sun.

Houston quickly took a good ol' Texas boy in defensive lineman Ray Childress -- and the Vikings were up again. Unable to have Fralic, they adopted the ''best athlete from Pittsburgh'' theory and took linebacker Chris Doleman, who probably is swearing in with the Marines right now.

And the draft kept creeping along. The NFL club representatives probably would have gone nuts from the boredom if it hadn't been for copies of a story being handed around. It was from Kickoff, the official magazine of the USFL, and it was about finacially beleaguered, former Birmingham owner Marvin Warner. The title of the story was ''The Man with the Winning Touch.''