Besides ice cream, what food item do kids (and weird looking birds) go cuckoo for and that’s only for them and not white, anorexic rabbits? You got it — breakfast cereal.

The Philly Swirl Cereal Conez is the bastard offspring from the sticky lovemaking between a complete sugary breakfast and a pre-packaged ice cream and cone combo. If I wore a hat, I would tip it to Philly Swirl. Why you ask? Because there is no cereal in Cereal Conez. Instead, they got rid of the middleman, struck a deal with that pot o’ gold loving ginger and topped the cones conez with the marshmallows that are found in a certain cereal that claims it’s lucky. The next thing I want to do, is ask Philly Swirl how can I get a bag of these packing-peanut textured marshmallows without having to sift through pieces of cereal, because everyone buys Lucky Charms for the marshmallows.

Although I do love dehydrated, colorful, and ill-shaped pieces of sugar, I really wish that the Cereal Conez had cereal on them, because it would provide a crunchy texture to compliment the creamy ice cream and compensate for the somewhat soggy cone.

There’s two flavors in the box: Chocolate Marshmallow Swirl (more like chocolate vanilla swirl) and Vanilla, but there’s no way of picking which flavor you want, because the cones are all wrapped the same way in white paper with no text. When you disrobe the cone and become excited or depressed, which depends on whether or not you received the flavor you wanted, you are greeted with a mound of “magical marshmallows” that dominates the top of the cone. It’s certainly eye opening, but it’s lousy because the first four bites or so is all marshmallow and no ice cream.

After that, it’s just a standard ice cream cone novelty, but one that’s tasty because the inside of the cone is covered in chocolate. However, by the time you reach that point, the thrill of devouring the leprechaun’s beloved “magical marshmallows” is all but a distant memory.

Item: Philly Swirl Cereal ConezPrice: $2.59Size: 4 conesPurchased at: The Big Blue SupercenterRating: 6 out of 10Pros: Lots of “magical marshmallows.” Ice cream is rich and smooth. Size of each treat is bigger than I expected. Chocolate inside of each cone. Those novelties with gumball eyes. Telling the Trix rabbit he can’t have the cereal he so desperately wants.Cons: No way to tell which flavor is which. Marshmallows aren’t “magical” enough. Cone is a little soggy. Only four in a box. Doesn’t actually contain cereal. Adding Z’s are so 90’s.

I don’t think the “cereal” they use is actually Lucky Charms, because the marshmallows on the cones don’t have the Lucky Charms shapes. Lucky Charms doesn’t have a triangle-shaped marshmallow, for instance. It’s gotta be a generic variety.

I actually find it fun to keep track of various identifying features in various generic products. Did you know that Target’s Archer-Farms-brand “Marshmallow Treasures” is the same cereal as Malt-o-Meal’s “Marshmallow Mateys”? At least, they both have a dolphin shaped marshmallow, which seems like a big identifier right there.

Back in the 90’s when the ice cream truck used to come around in our neighborhood I would always get the Raphael Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one. If they didn’t have that I wouldn’t get anything at all. I used to have the gumballs for later too, I think everyone did that.

These sound awesome,and I bet they would have been even better if the actual cereal was mingled with (not merely topping) the icecream. I love Lucky Charms (as well as rainbows, pots of gold, and leprechauns who have a tendency to get lucky–not necessarily with me…).

I kinda really want one. I usually just cream in my panties over this sort of thing, not my pants too. Still never understood what PhillySwirl has to do with the actual city, since the website says the guys who made the company started it in Florida. Alex and Max are bootleg Ben and Jerry. They all went to Penn State though!