We bring you “The Black Mamba,” Kobe Bryant’s ad for Nikes movie with Robert Rodriguez.

If you love Kobe, you’ll like this and only laugh a little. If you hate Kobe, we present you fuel for the fire. Enjoy the part where Kobe goes one-on-five against our villans — just like every Laker game! The jokes will write themselves.

Not everyone loves Kobe Bryant’s “Black Mamba” nickname. Which makes sense in that one should not be able to nickname themselves. Except it’s Kobe, and he can do whatever he wants. So Black Mamba it is.

The best part about Kobe? His fans will think this is the best idea ever, his haters will say this is clearly the worst idea ever and a sign of his ego. And the two will fight it out in message boards everywhere, with questions of Durant and LeBron and Jordan coming it. Gosh, can’t wait to see all that rehashed. Again.