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Funny satire stories about Diet

Subscribers to Comcast are likely to lose weight, the National Institute of Weight Loss found. The finding holds true for obese and non obese adults.
The NIWL is recommending that doctors instruct their overweight patients to sign up with Comcast...

The Ballast diet has taken the international slimming world by storm. Below is a transcript of a recent, rare radio interview with its creator, Professor Swan Morrison, in which he discusses the scheme in unprecedented detail.
~*~*~*~*~*~
'Hello Professor Morrison and welcome to the Breakfast Radio Show.'
'Thank you for inviting me onto your programme.'
'You've invented a revolutionar...

A man who ate doughnuts before having lunch has appeared before Bolton Crown Court to be sentenced.
Twisted Luke Smith, of Sharnford Close, Bolton, indulged in the sugary delights on Friday 15th May 2015 just before lunch time.
The 21-year-old...

Scientists at the university of Stockholm have revealed that dying could actually have substantial health benefits for your body. Previously experts felt that when a person expires there were no advantages and that life simply ended, however that has...

The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...

Have you ever met one of those annoying, self-righteous vegans who obviously considers himself morally superior to all other humans on the planet? If so, you might be encouraged to learn that the recently established Herbivore Assessment & Rating Program (HARP) is working to take those self-important vegans down a notch - by assessing precisely how "vegan" they really are.
In calculating a...

An escalation in the Devon vs. Cornwall clotted cream wars was yesterday sparked off by 'Cornwall's Prince Charles's' announcement that he had won the war without a shot being fired.
The pleasant but sickly Cornish Clotted Cream - made by boilin...

These Top Ten Ways to lose weight are easy as falling off a log. (Guess I better take that one off).
1. Always sleep on a vibrating bed.
2. Go Over A Fence that has a warning sign, "Dozen Bulls Horny Here!"
3. Crap on your food.
4. Easiest Push-Ups! (Pushing Up Daisies)
5. Snack on salted packing peanuts!
6. When introducing yourself at 'Get Acquainted Singles Meet', "Hello, my n...

According to the latest buzz from health clubs and fitness gurus, the formerly wildly popular Paleo Diet has been supplanted by the new Sociopath or "Socio" Diet, which skyrockets meat-centric eating to new dimensions of amorality. Sources say the Socio Diet has particularly caught fire in high-power urban centers like New York City and Washington, D.C.
Want to incorporate some "Socio" into you...

Some say that embattled New Jersey Governor has bitten off more than he can chew with his growing bridge scandal while some of his closest allies in Trenton have rallied around him and decided that he should go on the offensive by waging a war that h...

Atlas News say they got a sneak peak of a new video from the group against the possible presidential candidate and that it is coming out with the highlights.
It shows Christie pledging support for in-state tuition for undocumented students at the...

In Raleigh, North Carolina, Merab Morgan pulled off something astonishing by losing 37 pounds on a diet based solely on McDonald's food.
She said, "I thought it's to the birds with one stone - to lose weight and prove a point for the little fat p...

NASHVILLE - Wynonna Judd was in Nashville working on her next album which is tentatively titled, Wynonna's New Album: Overweight And Proud To Boot.
Judd said that the title of the album was her idea and not sister Ashley's like the supermarket tab...

Olympic officials have been asking themselves if Marijuana should be outright banned for all athletes who plan to participate in the Olympic games, now that it has become more accepted and legal in certain parts of the world.
Speculation has risen...

Norway's standing as a peaceful and low crime country, has taken a severe hit after a new diet crazes has hit the country.
The book "steel what you eat" has been on the bestseller list for two months and the effects can be felt in the otherwise q...

We've been told to count calories if we want to control our weight. But now we need to do even more counting, according to a new weight control strategy recommended by the specialist counting agency Counts 'R'Us.
They say that if we expend exactly...

VENICE BEACH - Christina Aguilera has lost quite a bit of weight lately and she is not shy about letting people know it and showing it.
Aguilera who was recently photographed on Venice Beach wearing one of the skimpiest, sexiest bikini swimsuits m...

WASILLA, Alaska - It is no secret that Sarah Palin feels like no one in the Lower 48 cares about her anymore.
And according to recent polls the Moose Mama is absolutely right. Even her fellow Republican cronies and cohorts at FOX News made that ab...

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