Women Share

8 Things Every Woman Needs To Succeed In Life

At the launch of the new Emozione by Ferragamo fragrance, TV personality Xandria Ooi gives fabulous advice for women

By The Weekly | June 24, 2015

Ask Xandria Ooi what’s her biggest achievement in life, and she’ll tell you she hasn’t reached it yet.

At 31, she’s juggling multiple roles as TV host, emcee, producer, columnist, and co-partner of Outfluential, a training and development company she founded with Sue Chan.

At the launch of the new Emozione by Ferragamo fragrance, Xandria Ooi was on hand to share how the work she does at her company is all about harnessing emotions and using it in a positive way.

“At Outfluential, we train working women to make that simple switch of mindset in order to realise their ‘aha!’ moment – because we believe it can make such a difference,” she explains. “We also arm you with the tools you need to look and feel good about yourself, as well as how to make an impact at your workplace.”

Here, she tells The Weekly’s Lynnett Yip what she believes are the 8 most important things every woman must know to succeed in life.

1. Create your own definition of success.“With the rise of social media, women are being force-fed a certain idea of what a successful life is, thanks to users sharing so much of themselves on Facebook. It’s out there in photos, how good they look, and how awesome their lives seem to be. If you’re young and impressionable, this could give you a low self-image. Remember, what you see on social media is not ‘real life’ – it’s just highlights of the life that people want you to see. We women need to love ourselves more and accept who we are. Don’t compare yourself with others – the only person you should be in ‘competition’ with is yourself.”

2. Surround yourself with positive energy.“I truly believe in surrounding yourself with good energy and a positive environment. Sometimes, just having friends who believe in you and who are rooting for you, can make you feel like you can do the impossible! Don’t let negative people get you down. If you have friends who are going through a tough period, you can be there for them but don’t let their negative energy affect you. And sometimes, it’s YOU who has to be the positive energy for your friends!”

3. Choose to be an optimist.
“You can be an optimist, and still be a realist – but never be a pessimist. I’ll give you a scenario: Let’s say you’re caught in a terrible situation and a loved one is terminally ill. Another person is saying, “You know, there’s no hope. Why do you want to pretend to be so optimistic?” But how I see it is this: If I behave like a pessimist, will that person be cured? No. If I behave like an optimist, will that person be cured? Maybe not, either. But which approach would make the person and his loved ones feel better?”

4. Find your passion.“Many women tell me they are not sure if they are in the right job, or if what they are doing is their passion. I would say if you enjoy what you do, and look forward to going to work, and still get a kick out of your job, then you’ve found your passion.”

5. But if you can’t find your passion, change your mindset.“Evaluate the situation. Is it the job that you don’t like, or the environment you’re in? Would the solution be solved with a transfer to a different department, or new responsibilities? If you’ve exhausted all your options and you are still unhappy, then maybe it’s time to leave. Make the decision and follow through.”

6. Stop overthinking.“We women like to think a lot. If something goes wrong at work, we like to overanalyse and think ‘Is it me?’ or ‘Is it something I could have done better?’ This is probably not something men would ask themselves. My advice is, don’t sabotage yourself. In order to eliminate the fears and doubts that play in our mind, we’ve got to put complete trust in ourselves, and in our abilities.”

7. Don’t give your power away.“The moment you are angry, the moment you lash out, the moment you lose it, no matter how justified, is a moment of insanity. In that moment, you have lost complete control of yourself, which means you have given your power away. Never let other people dictate how you react.”

8. Use whatever tools you need – as a woman – to boost your confidence.“I’m a huge advocate of arming yourself with whatever you need to increase your self-esteem. Whether it’s wearing five-inch heels to give you a physical and mental boost, or even a spritz of your go-to fragrance to make you smell good (which in turn makes you feel good)… Use it.

“I want to be clear: This is not about being vain. Putting makeup on, dressing up, doing your hair, spending a little bit of money on yourself, it’s not about being vain. It’s about feeling awesome. And if feeling awesome gives you confidence – just do it!”

Even a spritz of your go-to fragrance, says Xandria, can give you a boost of confidence. The new Emozione by Ferragamo fragrance is available now at RM482 (50ml).