If your the full time caregiver for a parent with Alzhiemer's, should you be compensated?

My Mother is 74. She was diagnosed when she was 64, and has been on Aircept since then. Last year my Father pasted away, and one of sisters was already living in the house with my parents, and continued to do so until recently. My mother had a live in care giver, that watched her and took care of my sisters grandchild a couple of days a week. My sister that lived there, took care of buying groceries, paying bills and other things. I because I had to quit my job a few years ago do to medical reasons, would make and take my Mom to her doctors appts. Do to no life insurance from my Father, and other reasons, we are in the process of selling my Mom's house, and she has moved in with me and my family. I have POA now, and am my Mom's caregiver 24/7. Except for a few weeks at a time, several times a year she will go to my sister's house that is out of state.Two of my sisters think after I take care of my Mothers expenses, and keep a little back for unexpected things that might pop up, I should pay my self the what is left of her retirement each month. For housing, groceries, care etc. I am not sure how to break all this down. My other sister had lived with my parents for many years, and according to my parents she never paid rent or helped with electric . She did help with groceries, and as they got older and their health declined she helped them with doing their bills etc. She is a bit not so sure about me being paid for care.

Can anyone give me some advice or share what you do in your situation if you a full time care giver of your parent.

Answers

One more thing -- the rate should be fixed and not "whatever is left" each month. If some months Mom isn't able to pay you the full amount because of extra expenses that month I'm sure overlook that and carry on. But the contract should be for specified amounts.

Yes, caregivers should definitely be compensated. Give your parent the dignity of paying her own way as best she can.

You can charge for room and board and personal care. Ideally it should be at the going rate in your community, but life is seldom ideal for elderly folks with chronic conditions.

I suggest consulting an attorney who specializes in Elder Law to get this up correctly, and so that it will not interfere with apply for Medicaid should that be needed in the future.

Your family is very wise to think ahead to some respite for you. It is also important that you get away for short periods on a regular basis. Having in-home help every Saturday afternoon, for example, should be worked into the budget.

Accepting money for housing and caring for a parent has nothing at all to do with whether/how much you love them. It is simply a sensible arrangement.

If your mother can pay you to be your Caregiver, you would need to set up an employment contract which would say how many day per week you would work, how many hours each day, and your hourly rate. You would need to pay payroll tax to add to your own Social Security and Medicare.

And keep accurate notes just in case your Mom might need to use Medicaid for her future housing if you find you cannot be three full-time caregivers each and every day. With a person with Alzheimer's you will find yourself caring for her 168 hours per week. Would your Mom be able to afford to pay a full-time Caregiver to help give you a break? Maybe come in for the night shift so that you could get some sleep?

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