The History Of Garbology – I Have Seen The Future

My wrists are killing me from unloading trucks of records and books. Sure do wish I’d get a truck of feathers every now and then.

Of course, what would I do with feathers? Would I start stuffing pillow cases? Anything is possible in my business and that is the point I love about it most. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. I just know that it will be an adventure…

I know I will make some small jackpots, but will I make that big hit…

You know a million dollars of merchandise is not a big hit, if it takes 10 years to get rid of…

The law of diminishing returns hurts, that’s why I really just want to find a million in cash… Then all I have to do is count it, turn over three hundred and fifty thousand to my wife and hide the rest.

Sometimes, when I’m trying to turn merchandise into cash as fast as I can, it can be impossible. Like when I scored great winter jackets in July of last year…. Try getting someone to put on a down jacket on a blistering 90 degree day. Still sold two dozen that day… I guess it was a good product.

How do I know that weird things are going to happen?

Because they always have.

What is a Junkman to do when he finds a storage room filled with Cocaine?

That will have to be told as,”The People I know in this business are fictional, only the stories are true.” ( Just to make sure I don’t get my ass kicked. Not that I don’t know how to take a beating if I have to.

What should I do with the great record collection that has brain matter on it because the guy didn’t put on protective plastic on his records before he blew his brains out?… Oh and his dogs ate him before they died. That was a tough cleanout with all the corpses being discovered. The smell was quite disturbing, but the records were mint!

I also know that there will always be interesting people in my life. It just goes hand in hand with the business. Everyday, there is someone else teaching me about collectible pushpins, or showing me a weapon that goes off. (Thank God it only happened once. The gun was in a garbage bag, and we didn’t even know it was in it. Put a nice hole in my gate.)