Suzette Martinez Standring: Japan – suffering with grace and dignity

Suzette Martinez Standring

Friday

Mar 25, 2011 at 12:01 AMMar 25, 2011 at 11:38 PM

Japan’s northeast coast looks like the end of the world, a place reduced to rubble and debris by triple tragedies: earthquakes, tsunami and radioactive danger. Yet its survivors remain gentle but stoic. In contrast, impatience, making demands, even looting under duress would seem “only natural” to Westerners.

Japan’s northeast coast looks like the end of the world, a place reduced to rubble and debris by triple tragedies: earthquakes, tsunami and radioactive danger. Yet its survivors remain gentle but stoic. In contrast, impatience, making demands, even looting under duress would seem “only natural” to Westerners.

Rie, my Japanese sister-in-law, has lived in California for about five years. In Japan, her parents and her sister are safe in the home they share located far from Fukushima. Yet everything has changed for them, too. Rie emailed me:

“Hi, Suzette-san. Now my parents and elder sister live with my mom's sister and husband and their son and wife, three kids join, too. Total ten people live in a three-bedroom house. And in the future, maybe more relatives will need help. They just need to take a rest and good sleep, and have good food. Tsunami, earthquake, after shakings, radioactivity...they are really tired.”

“Really tired” is putting it mildly, yet understatement runs through Japanese culture. On TV, the fear and grief of survivors in Japan is plain, yet rarely is rage or frustration acted out publicly. It’s as if a “no drama queen” clause is written into the Japanese cultural contract. But perhaps their faith has a bearing on their behavior.

Buddhism is the main religion in Japan. A personal code of civility and humility to others is practiced within an island nation of 27,076,183 people, the tenth most populated country. Japanese decorum now plays out as quiet perseverance in the face of anguish.

During times of great adversity, people often reach into the spirituality of their backgrounds for ways to cope, and 90 percent of Japan is Buddhist. The Buddha said, “Life is suffering,” and this expectation forms a basic tenet of their religion. There is no free pass and no one is above suffering. To accept suffering is to cultivate traits of patience, endurance and self-examination.

In contrast, taking away suffering is an American preoccupation, whether it’s by pills, convenience or all manner of escapism. Suffering is somebody else’s fault, and complaints come loudly and often in our society.

Since the time of Job, those who cruelly suffer have always asked, “What have I done to deserve this?” and the Japanese are no different. But in the absence of answers, how they bear their burden offer lessons to all.

Recently, CNN featured a man named “Hirome” who lived in Kamaishi, a historic city now obliterated by the tsunami. A reporter asked him what he wanted most. Given a microphone, it wouldn’t be unusual to lash out, vent or complain. Instead Hirome replied, “I need a bath, but I know it’s much to ask.”

Yet humble acceptance does not necessarily lead to passive defeat. The Japanese have risen from the ashes before. After the atomic devastation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II, they rebuilt their country to later become a leading industrialized nation. Their spiritual strength will be one means by which Japan will survive and thrive, judging by their past history. The Buddha teaches, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” A collective mindset to “just get through today” is a lifeline through the despair of devastation.

A few days ago, Rie wrote to me about the shortages of basic needs for victims in Japan, “According to my sisters, it's like living in wartime. Less foods, energy, power, gas, water, paper...they have to stand in a line just for entering stores. Sometimes they could not get anything they need. I'm praying for them to become safe and happy.”

Millions globally share that prayer. Meanwhile I learn what graceful perseverance looks like in action.

E-mail Suzette Standring at suzmar@comcast.net or visit www.readsuzette.com. She is award-winning author of “The Art of Column Writing” and hosts the TV show “It’s All Write With Suzette.”

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