Thursday, November 18, 2010

Ah celebrities, they think they’re better than us and most of the time, as a society we agree. We idolise them and pay them ridiculous amounts for doing a job that lets them travel the world and is certainly no harder than the jobs most of us slave at for peanuts and bat shit. We may wish we had their money, their careers and their lifestyles but what we don’t want is their hideous tattoos!

Realising her ass was where she kept all her talent, Jessica Alba played nice by gift wrapping it for us.

Dan Arnold's Roseanne Tattoo: poignantly terrifying. Not quite as terrifying as Roseanne getting "property of Dan Arnold" tattooed on her ample rump. For real. I’m hoping after the divorce he had a long beard tattooed on it to make it look like a member of ZZ Top. Same goes for her.

Tori Spelling's sometimes TV biopic acting husband Dean McDermott loves her twisted boob job so much he had the tattoo artist put it on there twice.

Nothing says “irredeemable fuckwit” like a tattoo of your own name on your person.

All that’s missing from Scarlett Johansson's technicolor hippy vomit tat is a dolphin and a unicorn.

I get what Eve is doing here: She wants to look like a muddy dog just jumped up on her boobs!

No need to overreact about Nick Cannon's tattoo, all Mariah's staff have one.