Bottoms were firmly toned, and quite possibly waxed, in the first decades of the last century. They were also very much on display, at least in the world of Underbelly: Squizzy, Nine's latest trip to bottomless well of Australian criminal history. Waxed bottoms, pertilicous boobs and perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth. In fact the only thing more striking than all those fine set of choppers in Squizzy's "gritty" Melbourne of the Great War era was the absence of much grit to get caught between them.

For a city still buried under staggering tonnages of horse manure and rotting garbage each day, choking on the uncontrolled toxic emissions of Australia's early industrial revolution, the Melbourne of Jared Daperis's Leslie "Squizzy" Taylor was a marvellous Melbourne indeed. Daperis actually did a great job last night, stepping so lightly along streets that should have been running with sewage, but instead seemed to run with parasoled ladies off an old Quality Street chocolate box and the sort of adorable, sooty-faced urchins we've all come to know and love through generations of really spiffing school productions of Oliver!

The producers gave their Squizzy such a light touch and more than one line that could only have been delivered by someone born after the advent of PowerPoint.

Please sir, may I have another opportunity to floss? I've an oh so important meeting with my casting agent on the morrow.

It was just unfortunate that for a drama based on a real world villain with a generous surplus of villainy, the producers of Squizzy gave their Squizzy such a light touch and more than one line that could only have been delivered by someone born after the advent of PowerPoint. Seriously. Did the real Squizzy pick his "crew" based on their "range of skills"? When planning a heist, did the violent, poorly educated sociopath really think the "all important third element" was someone who could see "the whole enterprise playing out"?

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Just as the streets of Squizzy's Melbourne seemed to lack any true grit, the sort that gets under the skin and into the eyes, dirty and uncomfortable and promising all manner of contagion and corruption, the spivs and Johnny Hoppers who walked them last night appeared to be in need of a little roughing up round the edges.

It might be too much of an ask, of course. Squizzy the character has to engage our sympathies, where Squizzy the historical reality could only engender revulsion and horror. As one of the narrative devices impersonating a police officer put it last night, there's nothing flash about shooting a bloke in the side of the head. Taylor, in the end, was a thief and murderer with an overweening ego. That doesn't mean his story isn't worth telling, even for the sake of mere entertainment, but for a storyteller who cares about the craft it does ship with certain obligations, one of which could arguably be a minimal duty of care not to indulge in egregious ugliness such as the gang rape scene at the end of last night's episode.

Having failed to imbue their production with any real sense of period filth or moral squalor – both of which were abundant in the city of that time, and could have provided both contrast and tension with, say, the fading fin de siecle glories of Melbourne's post gold rush "Parisien" quarter – Squizzy reached low. The rape which closed out the premiere didn't happen and using it as a narrative engine, as a base form of entertainment, was a disgrace in a way that countless episodes of empty sexposition in previous series were not.

Leslie Taylor did fight a vicious gang war in Melbourne in 1919, but there was nothing noble about it. He wasn't a white knight riding out to avenge his love. He was just a crim who murdered other crims, confirming the observation that the most savage fights are usually over the lowest of stakes.

Note: Squizzy ran for two hours, taking in a combined two episodes for its debut.

110 comments

Why the self serving, gutless, blackmailer, standover man and pimp, should be worthy of so much bandwidth really beats me - i watched 15 minutes and fell asleep. Taylor got what he bargained for alas so did the TV viewers.

Commenter

Ashley

Location

Camberwell.

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 10:38AM

Who actually researched and wrote this series? I reckon your average year 11 student will have been able to come up with more accurate information about Taylor and his 'friends'.I watched the last 10 minutes of it and was unimpressed. It's all too pretty. The lack of research on how people lived, what they would have been drinking and all of that kind of stuff seems to have gotten away from the production team.We've been bombarded with advertisements for this programme for more than six months and it should be known as "Underbelly : Fizzer". Stick it on "Go".

Commenter

when the facts will get in the way of fiction

Location

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 1:25PM

'facts" - if you can get a copy of the Squizzy Taylor movie (made in the 1980's) there is a DVD extra on there - a one hour doco made in 1969 which interviewed a lot of the people who were there at the time and gave first hand accounts along with reconstructions of the crimes and very detailed analysis of his motives and associates. It is riveting viewing. I am afraid this series looks very fake by comparison.

Commenter

coops90

Location

melbourne

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 4:50PM

Deliberately did not watch.Nine have been promoting this since Christmas LAST YEAR. "Coming soon"? Sorry, but 8 months is NOT "soon".Nine, you've shot yourselves in the head, again.

Commenter

The Other Guy

Location

Geelong

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 7:24PM

I can't wait until we get Underbelly: Captain Emad, the delightful tale of how an Iranian people smuggler was able to run his foul trade from Canberra's burbs right under Labor's nose after having successfully fooled authorities into granting him asylum status. Of course it all came apart when a high powered investigative team from Four Corners started asking questions. Either that or it was Shaggy, Scooby and the rest of those meddling kids that were his undoing. It sure as hell wasn't Labor. Hahahaha.

Commenter

Best TV for U

Location

Ding Dong Province

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 7:39PM

I agree with your comments. I watched the first 15-20 minutes and thought it was too clean. Too polished. And didn't hit the mark.The very first Underbelly worked because the characters were truly evil, and it was dirty work. Squizzy looks like a cross between Bugsy Malone and Sweet Charity!

Commenter

Rachel

Location

Melbourne

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 10:46AM

Also, the first series worked because we knew the court cases and news stories and names, and we wanted to know the story behind them, as well as being incredibly well made and acted. Ever since, it's all been a bit of a joke.

Commenter

vitas

Location

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 1:01PM

"The very first Underbelly worked because the characters were truly evil..."

They werent Evil. They were all just idiotic simpletons.....

Commenter

Dt

Location

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 1:10PM

Blame The Great Gatsby. Crims are cool happy go lucky guys who are misunderstood when they gouge peoples' eyes out and the like.

Next guess: we will have the Keystone Cops view of law enforcement officials.

Commenter

Percy

Location

Surry Hills

Date and time

July 29, 2013, 1:29PM

Exactly the first one was fresh and new and well acted and produced. Everything since has been awful but Nine still flog it as the best TV ever.