Top 10 Finishers to Smackdown Your Opponent

While many believe 1992's 'Mortal Kombat' originated the Fatality, that's not entirely true. Text game characters have been mercilessly killing each other in bloody, gruesome ways long before "Finish Him!" was an iconic phrase. While Congress was scrambling to slap warning stickers on every new videogame, text games luckily slipped under the radar. Can you imagine for a second if text games had to be submitted to the ESRB for approval? I'm pretty sure some of these text game finishers would warrant a Mature or even AO+ rating. That's what makes them so badass, though, and I've listed some of the classiest text game finishing moves for your enjoyment (sick pups)!

1: Freezepound

The forest-loving Metamorphs of Achaea can bond with various animal spirits, two being the Icewyrm and Gorilla. While inhabited by the Icewyrm, a metamorph can freeze their text game opponent, rendering them frozen solid. If they quickly transform into a Gorilla before their opponent unfreezes, the metamorph can rain down angry gorilla fists with the fury of a thousand Gods, effectively shattering their opponent into a bajillion pieces. Suck on that, Sub-Zero!

2: Eternal Sleep

Bringing some 1980's horror to the text game arena, Dreamweavers in Lusty are able to kill an opponent where they're most vulnerable - in their dreams. Traveling into a sleeping opponent's dream realm, the Dreamweaver will cut the precious cord that links us all back to our bodies. While going 'peacefully' is a preferred method for some, I know I'll be sleeping with one eye open in Lusternia.

3: Absolve / Catharsis

Holy Priests and their evil Apostate counterparts share a similar text game finisher - that is, the ability to rip out a victim's soul. Priests and Apostates are granted Celestial guardian angels and daemonic Baalzadeen companions, respectively. Once an opponent is under a certain mana percentage, the Priest or Apostate will give the signal to their companion, who will literally tear the soul from the hapless player.

4: Toadcurse

Unique to the Wiccans of Lusternia, this finisher is two-fold. First, the Wiccan will curse their opponent with the Toadcurse, transforming them into, you guessed it - a toad. However, there's no Prince Charming or happy ending in sight for the unfortunate amphibian. The Wiccan will proceed to stomp on the toad, very hard, leaving a mess of blood and guts behind. A fantastic Brothers Grimm tale, indeed.

5: Vivisection

Perhaps the most gruesome text game kill of all, practioners of Necromancy are able to horrifically torture their victims before death. After shriveling their opponents arms and legs, leaving them utterly helpless, the Necromancer will proceed to slowly rip open their victim's chest before finally stabbing him with his own sternum, leaving the corpse as a warning. Brutal. Fortunately for you, past articles explain how to avoid this!

6: Tahtetso

Utilized by Lusternian monks, this ability works a lot like the 5 Finger Touch of Death. After a series of chest-pain inducing blows, the Tahtetso monk will deliver one final strike, causing your frail heart to suddenly explode inside your chest. If Pepto Bismol existed in text games, I don't think it'd be much help here.

7: Devour

This one is self-explanatory. The wild and savage Lycans of Aetolia will, after slicing your guts, proceed to devour your carcass whole. True to their wolf nature, they'll clean the meat from your bones until you're nothing but a toothpick.

8: Hostage

The stealthy Rogue class in Midkemia Online allows players to sneak up on an unsuspecting text game opponent, silently creeping closer and closer until they're in perfect range. Then, without warning, they clamp their hands over the mouth of their victim and slit their throat with a dagger. The text game Rogue slips away behind the ensuing fountain of blood, for the win.

9: Incendiary Arrow

One of my personal favorites from Imperian, the incendiary arrow is an explosive finishing move - literally. After the arrow buries itself in your gut, text game players have a short time to remove the arrow as the fuse burns down, or be blown to smithereens. Removing an arrow from your guts can be extremely painful, but it sure beats your intestines splattering against the nearest wall.

10: Divine Zap

Pissing off a God character in any IRE text game can end badly for you. Maybe you offended them, or maybe you were just being an obnoxious player - whatever the reason, a stream of crackling fire will soon go sizzling across the skies. Your text game character can only watch in horror as the ball of fire hurtles towards you at an alarming velocity, before instantly incinerating you to a crisp. Text game misbehavers quickly shape up when the fireballs go a-streakin', for sure.

Ron Owens can be found mercilessly slaying opponents on his favourite text games at Iron Realms!

It's a broken head and hellsight as prerequisites, sadly. The only real ways to pull it off involve kelplocking someone until they can't get through the hellsight in time, or to venom lock someone so bad they can't do anything - but by then, it's sort of a 'win more' situation.

I often think about how horrid some of these deaths would be. Can you imagine being hit with the brokenstar or heartseed? How about the mindburst or execute? It's a good thing the ESRB has no power here. :P

Good point there, Perdy. Runelore could do with a finisher... hmmm, mayhaps it would have to be a set of runes sketched on your target? Like five runes to spell death upon the person you are trying to kill?

Or, and this would work better for the shammies, a rune to be sketched upon your opponent in their own blood (the requirement being a high enough bleed percentage)

Jitb is a mental torture if nothing else. The first time I used it(ironically the first time I had seen it too) it actually kind of scared me on the second message, and it was my own box no less! The part where it goes "I'm acoooommmiiinnggg" is just too much for the already tense combat situation, it makes you just think "OMG OMG OMG". I mean, it just invokes images of all those doll and clown horror movies. It's a comical, sick way to die and one of my favorite things about this class. ^_^

The Absolute Dead last WORSE Kill method? Nekotai FinalSting. LITERALLY. ALL IT IS. 5p Crotamine apply. The CURE. Ready for it? Sip Antidote. No set up to apply, no challenge to cure. My only beef with the skillset, No unique kill method! =(

well it does halve the time that crotamine usually takes to kill you and guarantees that the poison hits, So it does make it much less likely that your opponet will be able to cure it. since there's no shortage of ways for nekotai to make other poisons land, it's also that much easier for you to get your opponent into a greenlock.

Some of the magician skills in Midkemia have newish text that is quite graphic:

You thrust your hand forward, unleashing a barrage of crackling silver and purple energy that engulfs a blowfly, the eldritch flames melting his skin.A blowfly is blasted apart by the wild barrage of magic, his burning corpse sent spinning through the air from the impact.

Hmm... I have yet to see a Dreamweaver properly time an Eternal Sleep. Mind you, the idea was and still is great but the praticalities of accomplishing it are lacking. It would be great to see it more like its Elmish counterpart. I just think it's there to get the afkers.

I have personally played Achaea for about seven years, and through the characters I have played, have been a number of classes..on one character in particular. My personal favorite deaths are brokenstar, vivisection, demon catharsis (used that one more times, than I can keep track of!), eliminate (In Apostasy), and finally Unravel.

Considering the punishment that a person would have to indure for me to behead them, I would say its pretty brutal...however, not as cool as most of those...devour though? Im sure there could have been a better one than that, although if you eat them when they are alive....then its pretty BA.

I cackled so bad at most of the Lusty ones. Am I horrible person for wanting to do the toad finisher on my -- ...Well, I'll keep who I wanted to use it on private. /wrings her hands together, and chortles.

I'm surprised Imperian Bards' Kantae (I think that's what it was called?) didn't make it to the list.

A moment of pure bliss as the angels call their name or whatnot, and then they turn to stone. The result is basically a statue pulling this face: ^_^ for people to walk by and know that this person got owned by a bard (there's a line of text on the statue saying who killed them).

I'm a fan of all the finishing moves that leave a little souvenir in the room.

I think the best improvement was making it so that you can actually die from hunger. Nothing quite so fun as teasing the derp who left his character logged in all night, where he starved to death. Makes level 80 a goal for all the idlers.

I always really loved the Inquisition kill in Lusternia, but the deathsight is nothing special. When done, though, the person's eyeballs melt and light starts coming out the sockets and then their head explodes.

I always really loved the Inquisition kill in Lusternia, but the deathsight is nothing special. When done, though, the person's eyeballs melt and light starts coming out the sockets and then their head explodes.

When I first started playing with Iron Realms (years ago), the Tekura Backbreaker Throw was burned into my mind as the coolest finisher. I think because it was much more effective way-back-when than it is today. And also because it seems to be more of a "realistic" way to kill somebody. Although I guess we all play here to get away from "reality" :)

You can't even call yourself a reporter if you're not going to do your research just to shit out a 'top 10' list. Attributing hostage to midkemia is like saying Vivisect, Absolve, and Catharsis came from Imperian.

I get it though, you had to go and mention something about every game since this is more advertisement than news. We all can't work for CNN I guess.

I've only once pulled off Eternal Sleep, and that was in the arena, where the other person just stood there and let me do it. Granted, I haven't really tried to use it in a real combat situation, but the only way I can think to use it would require a fair amount of coordination with my group, and everything going perfectly.

I donno, I feel like instakills should be hard to pull off. Otherwise everyone'd be insta-killing everyone else instead of doing actual battle. Pulling of an insta-kill in battle should be something you're able to brag about and be proud of

The old Ninjakari instakill with ruptures. After beating the crap out of someone with a heavy chain, you basically use the skill and the end of your chain brushes against their heart lightly. They grin, and fall down dead.

I don't see brokenstar on the list and from what I can tell reading the description of it you pretty much hack your opponent in pieces with your blade. That would be pretty nasty, imagine CSI trying to follow the spray pattern of that kind of kill. Heh!

...I enjoy when I break their text arms and their text legs using text venoms and text rapiers. There is nothing more fun than pushing them down onto the text ground, splitting open their text chests with my text finger before text torturing their text organs. Finally, I can rip out their text sternums and drive it through their text spines, pinning them to the text ground and leaving behind a text note containing a text message.

It isn't a finisher. Hostage allows you to immediately kill someone who doesn't have notice up. Finishers are good because they take time to pull off. It's by far the most uncool instakill in Midkemia Online.

I think all instakills are beutiful when they are happening to my enemies instead of me. Its hard to say which are the most beautiful though. The demeaning ones might be the prettiest because they let you insult and murder at the same time. There is a denizen that rips your head of and .,m!#s down your neck in dun fortress I think.

Devour is a pretty cool way to take someone out, especially if an emote like, "and then The dragon uses a broken femur to pick pieces of dented armour from his teeth." or something like that was added to the after chomp message.

I almost went Sylvan when heartseed and eclipse came out, they sounded like such awesome abilities and heartseed is one of my favorites. Radiance is such an awesome build-up too but easy to avoid. Then, being a Monk, there's deliverance. I've only managed to kill 5 at once using that. Working on it.

Monk Radience for two reasons, I had freeze braclets so I could freeze the ground so I would wait for someone to attack to be off blance, order my pet to dirttrap , burrying them, then freeze the ground so they could not move or do anything, then start radience. I stopped when I relized how easily I could do it and put it in as a bug report.

Other reason is I got to have a thanatosian death chant to go along with it, during raids I'm told people enjoyed mags kneeling and starting to pray as deliverance ticked untill the prayer finished and there was the deathsight.