Monday, November 30, 2015

SAUDADE

I wouldn't have managed to write this if not for the old chats on the gmail and everything rushed into my brain. I was thinking about this since a long time, and have given up most of the times. As I sat today in the office, reading and coding and analyzing data, I realized I am making a big move in my life, and I need to thank a lot of people for it. More than thank, I would like to be with these people, but cannot obviously, everybody has moved away. All I am left with is replaying some of the good times I have had, and a lump in my throat.. I don't even know if everyone does it. May be its just me. Every moment I had with them, I cherish and I would do anything to recreate them, though, it won't be the same ever.

I do realize at this point, that my life has been built by a lot of people around me, those who matter to me and care for me. May be I have even forced some to help me. I did have some hard years of one kind, and then of another kind, but those years have helped me grow and mature. More than that, people whom I have probably annoyed did stick with me and continue to do so. I don't know how to be thankful for them or whom to thank. I do miss the old conversations I have along the beach front, or the random walks. I do miss travelling with good old friends, wandering aimlessly, shopping for reach other, organizing birthday cakes for the much expected surprise. Life was easy and simple back then. Life has got more complex and is not the same anymore, there are phantom walls and doubts. The conversations are not just the same. I have probably grown in a different dimension and so have my other friends. Once in a while, we find our old selves and relive the moments. I wish all could be back to it again. I do miss those days. But life moves on, and everything should be left to its course.

Anyway, I don't want to make it a very short version of 'men and Women in my life' by KS. But just wanted to let out some Nostalgic drunkenness out get back to the real world. I know not many people come here, but yet its out there. So, better than the many drafts. You guys only make me feel stronger for the times to come.