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As some of you know, I have been training, very specifically, very diligently, and quite intensely for my Spring marathon! I chose one out of the area, but close enough to drive. Honestly, this is one of the most vigorous training plans I have been through when working toward the marathon distance. As I may have mentioned (it’s been so long since I’ve blogged, I can’t remember), I hired a new coach. He was my physical therapist back in 2017 when my hip flexor paralyzed itself, and he got me quickly back on the road. After not reaching any running goals last year, I really needed to reassess my training, and after talking to him, hired him on to train me. And my life has never been the same.

Seriously.

I have had some of the highest mileage weeks I have had in 6 years. I’m not saying that to brag, because I am aware that one extra mile could be the tipping point to injury. But, as I said, Daniel used to be my physical therapist and he knows my weaknesses better than I do. He also knows that in order to speed me up and work on endurance, it means a mix of easy/slow runs and hard speed sessions. We all know how I feel about speed work, but he hasn’t made me cuss him out or cry yet…so his method is working.

I will say, I’m exhausted by the end of the week and look forward to my rest day to prepare for the long runs (yep…runs) of the weekend. Sometimes they are easy runs, sometimes one of them involves some speed. But there is always a reason for where and why he wants me to do runs a certain way. And I’m working hard to hit suggested paces, without going over the edge to injury. It can be a fine line, especially when you’ve dealt with injuries over the years. Last year, I made it out without a single one, and I hope to continue that trend this year.

All that being said, I am getting a slight down week this week as I am headed to Disney World (you know this if you follow me on Instagram) for the Disney Princess Race Weekend. I am participating in the 5K (running it with my roommate at her pace), the 10K (which is what Daniel wants me to race), and the half marathon (training run). I’m super stoked. My last trip to Disney was in January 2018, and it was a hot mess express of a dumpster fire.

So…packing has commenced and I finally got around to trying on my costumes yet. Does my coach realize that I dress up in costumes? Probably not. LOL! But its Disney…if you don’t do SOMETHING Disney related (doesn’t have to be full-on costume), you have no soul.

Sadly, the outfit I ordered to do this costume, didn’t match. And the company I ordered the top from hasn’t done much to get me the new top in time for this race. So…I thought about trying to put together a Captain Marvel costume (not enough time), or do something else Avengers…but I just couldn’t cobble together what I needed in the short span of time remaining. So that means, I stick to super hero, but cross the streams into the DC universe and run as…Wonder Woman (DUH!)!

Not what I wanted…but it will work. It will do. And besides, I am Wonder Woman, so might as well stick to my nickname.

For the 10K…I was having a hard time settling on a costume. Believe it or not, I was originally going for Honey Lemon from Big Hero 6.

That being said, it’s really hard to find running clothes that are that golden yellow and not a fluorescent yellow. I went to Jo-Ann Fabrics to maybe get fabric for my friend Melissa to sew a costume for me, but there wasn’t anything there that would work. I was sad, but not giving up on this costume. It WILL happen, because she’s perfect for me to run as. So, I had to make a choice between two costumes that I have run in before…Officer Judy Hopps (Zootopia) or Vanellope von Schweets (Wreck it Ralph). I put it up for a vote on both Facebook and Instagram and the winner…

Pretty excited to bust out this costume again. Hoping that I get the “ears” just right like last time.

The one race that I knew for certain which character I was dressing up as was the half marathon. My nieces, Kaytlynn and Baileigh, chose for me to run as one of the most classic princesses from the Disney films.

My mom made my top for this costume, as the one I wore when I ran Dopey in 2014, was shredded. I mean, the sleeves are made out of ribbons. My mom did a PHENOMENAL job and I can’t wait to share the actual costume with you guys! I tried it on today as we started packing for the trip and I really just want my mom to make all my running costumes from now on. She did my Vanellope top I wore in Dopey 2018, and it was perfection. This one…also perfection. Excited to reprise my role as Snow White for 13.1 magical miles.

I’m going to be trying some new stuff out in the upcoming weeks, but I needed to get through Disney before I make fresh purchases. I’m thinking of switching to the hydration vest versus the belt I’ve worn since 2012. My friend Christine let me borrow hers and I loved it. So…that will be a big purchase, but one I can’t wait to try. Also…my new fuel. It’s pricey, but it seems to work! I’m using old fuel I still had kicking around for now. It’s fine, because I like it as well. As long as it doesn’t make me sick or hurt my stomach, or as long as I don’t have to chew it…I’m happy to use it.

So, seven challenging weeks of training down. Ten more to go. And now, here come the weeks where I also throw in some races (either as training runs, or to race) and I’m pretty stoked to get that going. Stay tuned, as I hope to keep you informed of more of my training highlights and shortcomings (because I’m human and I’m not going to nail everything). But that will have to wait until I get back from Disney.

Hello, my dear friends and readers. Let me introduce you to my friend, Natalie. I met Natalie through a local running store, that ultimately, led to a small running group. She and I became fast friends and, we have seen each other through a lot of ups and downs in life. Last year, she took on one of the hardest and biggest challenges of her life. She went to get treated for anorexia, an eating disorder that was, literally, wasting her away to just bones. Unfortunately, this isn’t the type of problem that just goes away after treatment. It stays with you…it eats at you…it gets in your head and it makes it hard to stay on the right path.

With the holidays in full swing, she commented on the way her life is just saturated in diet culture. It’s hard enough to deal with when you are in the population trying to lose weight. But have you ever thought about how hard it is for someone who is obsessed with being smaller? Someone who can easily be triggered by the word “diet” or “fat” or even “calorie?”

I have been wanting to welcome guest bloggers to my page for awhile now, so I’m going to let Natalie share her thoughts on the saturation of the market with “quick fixes” and how it can be a problem for people who have disordered ways of eating or looking at nutrition.

We all can agree, diets are bullshit. Your body doesn’t need to do a cleanse, you have a liver that does that for you. Your dietary choices should not be used as a way to restrict yourself from what you can and cannot eat. And diets…don’t work. As anyone who does any sport, you know how important FOOD is and PROPER NUTRITION is to performance and longevity. It’s hard, though, even for people without an eating disorder, to feel normal when it feels like every ad, commercial, influencer, and the like out there is telling you that you need to be smaller and this gimmick or new workout is how to do just that.

So, let me turn it over to a great friend of mine, a fellow athlete, and someone who has been on the dark side of an eating disorder and is working hard to recover, despite being bombarded with messages that are the complete opposite of what she needs to be feeding herself.

Below are her words, as well as a before and after photo for reference. Thank you, Natalie, for being brave enough to share your story and your thoughts on this matter. Keep fighting.

~*~*~

Natalie BEFORE and Natalie AFTER

It’s all the time; all year and everywhere! In the malls, magazines, on TV, the internet, radio, at work, with friends and now invading your emails!

DIETS: how to diet, which one is right for you, what melting pill takes the fat away, and on and on it goes.

Food has always been a part of life. You can’t get away from it: from the moment you’re born, it’s literally shoved into your mouth, and then, we are told not to eat what we just learned to put into our mouths because it is bad for you. Yet, it’s what we have to have to stay alive!

The diet industry probably makes more money than the company’s for any other product. I think I read it’s a multi-billion dollar corporation! Well, as hard is it is for someone wanting to get healthy (which one to pick, this one didn’t work, etc.), what its like for a person with an eating disorder is absolutely just torture!!

In my active portion of my ED, I was all about different fads and diets and everyone was willing to give it to me despite the fact that I was sick and losing too much weight. I had doctors that even encouraged my particular way of eating – healthy of course – but I left out how much I exercised to burn off the little healthy food I did eat! I’m sure if I had tried I probably could have found a surgeon to give me gastric bypass!! Trust me, I thought about it! But, now in process of being in recovery, which is the hardest thing I have ever done, it’s all around me and dangling in my face 24/7. I know this is a part of life and they didn’t actually cause my ED, but they feed it, literally and metaphorically!!

I get emails everyday for the newest product of diet pills. I see a runner on an ad and then go to read it and it talks about counting macros or the Keto diet. Even gluten-free diets are used to restrict, which is kinda funny considering they have some of the highest sugar counts in their stuff just so it tastes good. It’s supposed to be for allergies to gluten or, more specifically, what it was originally for was Celiac disease which has to be diagnosed with a biopsy and blood work! Period! I have many friends with this and they can actually die from it! So, to take specific diets for specific diseases is also the new fad. Like I said, it’s crazy and it can make a normal person crazy, but with the ED, I feel like I have no chance at ever getting better because it always draws that part of me back to the fact that I’m not good enough the way I am. I could be thinner if I just took this pill or if I rubbed my belly with this amazing fat burning gel or if I get my macros or micro nutrients right. I have to say, in my treatment (which was meant for an athlete), I have learned about macros and micro foods, but in the end, we are people that can get obsessed about anything and take it to extremes. It’s in our way of thinking and I say in our DNA too.

They say people with ED are a lot like alcoholics, if that gives you some idea of how bad it is. Except you don’t need alcohol to live, but you do have to eat food. To constantly give all this media attention to something that will only work for a small time, and then the targeted person will go off their diet and then have to start all over again, because they are desperate at that point and go back to the diet programs or vitamin shops that sell “healthy ways to diet” is just as addictive.

But, for a person like me, someone who will go the distance to be thin enough and never stop. And every diet there is or that comes out, my mind immediately thinks…maybe if I try this and that, then the cycle of being afraid to eat, the fear of gaining weight and not being good enough if I don’t weigh less…all of it throws me back into what will ultimately be my death warrant!

So basically, from my point of view, as a recovering anorexic…this industry is helping us kill ourselves for money!!

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received as a runner…was to stop posting my Garmin face post-run with distance and time. Stop putting my splits up on social media for others to see. While a lot of times, this garnishes so many LIKES and compliments…it also, honestly, is no one’s business what my run looked like that day. And, sometimes, it can also bring about negativity…or pressure to perform.

How often do we do this to ourselves? We go for a run. We feel good during the run. Or maybe we don’t. Maybe the run feels hard, but we’re pushing. And we’re just giving it all we have (I don’t recommend doing this for every run you do, btw). And when we’re done, we click that stop button on our watch and check our time…

And how often does that time…or overall pace…determine for YOU…whether that run was a “good run” or a “bad run?”

Hey…I’ve been guilty of this myself.

When a run feels hard and it should be easy…guess what…you’re probably running too hard.

When you feel good through your entire run, but then stop your watch and are disappointed with your overall pace…guess what…you have forgotten the golden rule of…easy runs should be easy…hard runs should be hard…and BOTH are important. You probably did this run perfectly…you felt good…but your Garmin spouts off an average that makes you feel inadequate.

Why?

So many people play that social media comparison game. Just because one person can easily crack off 7 minute (or less) minute miles, everyday, for most distances….doesn’t mean that you have to be able to do that too. That’s the great thing about being a human being.

WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT. And guess what?! OUR ABILITIES ARE ALL DIFFERENT!!

Am I screaming at you? Yes!! Because I often get told that someone doesn’t think they need to recover as much as I do because I run so much faster than them. Well, my 8 minute mile might be just as hard to me as their 10 minute mile is to them. The effort is equal…the paces are different. But someone’s slow will always be someone else’s fast. And it’s a serious problem if you are judging your worth and your fitness or your place in the running community based off of how fast your legs move to propel you forward.

And social media has done nothing more than take all of this insecurity and elevated the comparison game to new heights. It is great to motivate people…but your paces and your miles logged don’t really do that. WORDS do that. Examples do that. Just because you can run that 6:XX mile tempo, doesn’t mean that I can. And expecting me to be able to isn’t right too. Telling me that you’re an extreme runner, or getting it done right, doesn’t make me feel good about my 8:xx tempo of the same distance that day…probably less consistent than yours. Your Garmin watch face…your split times…your average pace…that does have the power to motivate…and inspire…but it also can really get into people’s heads.

And let’s talk about burnout. So many times…these “extreme” runners that consistently post these fast times in training often burnout or hit a wall…when it counts most. On race day.

Sure, it might seem fun to post your 7:XX mile runs during training, every day, no rest days, no days off, but when you end up sidelined with an injury, or your marathon times don’t match up to your training runs, or you hit a wall…hard…at Mile 21, those social media brags and posts will have been in vain.

Let’s face it…an 8:20 pace is not easy if your marathon pace is an 8:30.

IT. IS. THAT. SIMPLE.

Whether you consider yourself a speed demon, a middle-of-the-packer, or a back-of-the-packer…ultimately…the comparison game will only bring you unnecessary stress.

And that’s why, my friends, my Instagram posts don’t show off my pace, my distance, my stats, my splits…because that is for me to know and for me to work on. Not for anyone else to cast judgement on or to compare themselves to. We’re all different. We all run different. We all train different. But in the end…I’m not here to set a precedent for anyone but myself.

Comparison is the thief of joy…and I’m not looking for anything but happiness out on the roads right now. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly have my goals and am actively pursuing them the best I know how to. After all, happiness is definitely a goal worth pursuing.

I haven’t blogged on it yet…but it’s coming. I just need more time in my days to get my thoughts down.

Two weeks ago. And I have been taking my time returning to my training.

I’m not forcing myself to go out there for double-digit runs at the moment. I’m not forcing speed work on myself. I’m running by feel, fewer days a week than normal, not worrying over how long I’m out there or how far I go.

I’m recovering.

So many of my friends are shining in races. Some of them also had hard efforts in marathons. But, to me, it’s not about how many races I do…it’s about being able to do the number of races I register for…comfortably, without pain, without injury, without burnout…

I don’t wear race volume around my neck as a bragging right. I don’t care how many races I have run or of what distance each one was. Every finish is a victory. Every race is a victory lap for the training I put into it. And part of training…is taking the necessary time off to get my body strong, rested, and prepped for the next training cycle. I’ve done the whole rush into the next thing route before…and we all know how that turned out for me. So many people overlook the downtime and recovery…and I used to be one of them.

NOT. ANYMORE.

It’s so hard, these days, to keep this in perspective. Social media has a funny way of making you feel inadequate. Someone is always running more, running faster, running further, hitting goals you’ve dreamed of but have fallen short of for months/years. But, in the end, we can only do what is best for ourselves. No one else.

This past weekend, I was in Columbus, Ohio, visiting my friend Jenn and seeing Phil Collins in concert on Friday night. I had some late nights…I slept in each morning. And…I put in some miles each morning. One was mild and windy, the other was frigid and also windy (but less windy, I guess). I never once looked at my Garmin to check my pace. I just counted each mile beep until I hit the miles in my made-up plan.

Each run was solid and strong and amazing. I mean, I was having fun, even when the headwind felt like it was pushing me back. I got inspired when I hit up the Columbus Marathon expo, purchasing more things than I should of from the booth, and stopping by Noxgear to say HI to the people there…and get my hands on their new product, which hasn’t launched to the public yet. Watch my social media for more on that.

I ate well. I stretched. I foam rolled. All the self-care stuff that comes with recovering from a hard effort.

So while others are stocking up on medals and miles, I’m cheering them on, but not rushing to join them. I never want to be out for as long as I was in the past. And with these solid recovery runs coming so easy…I’m proud to say, I think this time, I’m doing it right.

The number of races I do is nothing compared to the number of races I will continue to do, simply by respecting this body.

Being a runner isn’t about the number of races I finish. I know plenty of real runners who aren’t even interested in racing. I love racing. It’s fun. But I don’t care if I’ve run 1 or 100 races…as long as I’m still enjoying it and listening to my body so I can continue to do it.

You know…the cool, light-weight, light-up vest that you see me wearing in all my social media run pics (because running in the dark is the only time I have to run).

If not…you’re obviously not following me on social media and that should be remedied. I’ll post those links at the end of this. But the entire purpose to this post today is to say…

TOMORROW ONLY…

OCTOBER 16, 2018

There is a special Ambassador Sale going on at the Noxgear Web site. So if you’ve been on the fence about investing in the Tracer 360 vest or the Lighthound (for those of you with four-legged running partners who also need to be seen), or if you want to order some extras or get one as a gift…this is the best deal yet!

If you’re reading this…you’re in luck. You’ve found an ambassador! YAY!! *high fives*

To get that discount on Tuesday ONLY head over to Noxgear and use code: CELIAC

It’s the best deal around!! Happy Shopping!! Tell your friends!

#noxgearamb #noxgear #lightitup

And…if you’re not following me on other forms of social media…you can hit me up here:

Needless to say…the simple things…those every day things that often fall to the wayside…well…they fell to the wayside.

I’m not just talking about my presence here on this blog or even online. I mean…making time to do something as simple as vacuum my apartment. Or dust the shelves. Or put away things from race expos and food expos. Or…just organize the apartment. And if you know me, you know clutter and disorder drive me crazy. It’s been pretty hard to breathe.

Today, that all came to a head. I woke up this morning and causally lingered in bed and played on my broken (aka: shadowbanned) Instagram account, hoping that it might be visible again. It’s not. Meh. I got up and did my stretches and exercises and worked in some foam rolling. And then…despite the light drizzle and nip in the air…I went out for a run. And I felt good. I smiled a lot. I didn’t worry over pace or speed or hills or flats or anything. I just did what my legs wanted to do from one mile to the next. My mind was on the numerous people I know who were tackling the Ironman Louisville today. I’ve been tracking them all day and it’s been both nerve-wracking and exciting all at once. Had the weather been less wet…I would have actually been out there cheering in person. But I honestly (for reasons to be explained in an upcoming blog) just couldn’t bring myself to do it today.

But, while using the app to track their amazing progress and great feats of athleticism, what I did manage to do was this:

Went for a short run in the rain.

Showered

Made breakfast for my roomie and I

Cut up and baked a large, organic kabocha squash (my favorite)

Went to Target to pick up my prescription

Went to the mall to just move around a little since weather was so shitty

Went to Meijer so my roomie could pick up her prescription and then we finished grocery shopping.

Organized the pantry at home (finally putting away the GFFAF Festival goodies/finds)

Organized the snacks/running fuel drawer

Laundry

Cooked dinner from scratch (delicious stuffed peppers)

Stretched

Foam rolling

Folded and put away laundry

Watched Top Chef (I’m catching up on all the seasons I missed since the upcoming season is in Kentucky (and some in Louisville))

And a lot of dishes and cleaning and prepping and all that in between.

The best part of the day though…had to be the impromptu dance party via Marco Polo with my friend Natalie. It was a good way to get shit done and yet…still keep a lighthearted and fun-loving perspective on it. It was so much fun. And we hit each other with some good songs. But my roomie and I slapped her with some Baby Shark…so we might win. HA.

I’m finally down on the couch and relaxing. Not ready to go to bed yet, despite feeling utterly exhausted. But that will come in about an hour. I’m so happy with how productive I was today and all that got done. I mean…my roomie even painted her pumpkins today. Cross that off the list too.

Anyone else have a busy and productive weekend? Anyone else cheering on friends at Ironman Louisville? Any suggestions to help me keep up with life…hit me up. Because my organizational skills are starting to wane. And that’s not like me.

But I can’t here. Not yet. Because…things haven’t been said on other platforms by other people that I can’t go into here…but once it’s out there…I’ve got blogs to write and things to fill all of you in on.

I’ve been on the road a lot recently. And I leveled up somewhere in there with a birthday too.

I’m very behind on this blog…and I realize this. I’m seriously going to make more of a push to be active and write about more than just my races. Because I’m not just passionate about running…but also food and travel and…just having fun. With friends.

Here’s a little run-down of things coming down the pike…

I went to Hawaii. Again.

I went to Disneyland. Again.

I went to Chicago. Again.

I got shadowbanned by Instagram. That’s a first. No again necessary. That being said…no one is seeing my posts right now and since I’ve built my account up since 2011…having it currently be unavailable to people who are not my friends is beyond frustrating. My visibility is nill and IG has done nothing to fix it…because I’m not one of their precious influencers. MEH. And how did this happen? I got hacked. On a Sunday morning. While headed to a run.

Thanks, lovelies. I also hope to start going back to some product (food and running related…YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!)…and I’m going to get serious about recipes and also progress with…just where I am…both in fitness and in life. Because…sometimes life is hard and things just get out of control. And it’s good to have a support team.