Exploring traditional male-led, DD, D/s relationships in a modern world. We believe in building on and within our core values of communication, reciprocity, grace and balance.

Monday, September 17, 2012

How does it feel?

Daddy gave me an assignment today...to write something fun and spanky - sigh - my head is still full of weekend yummies and ....well it just wouldn't do to share that.... I DID close the door after all. He gave me a few other assignments as well...I'm not especially inclined to share those either. C'mon, I love you all, but I'm just a shy, old-fashioned girl after all.....okay, a slightly kinky, shy, old-fashioned girl.

So I decided to write about the human brain...JUNE! That's not fun! Stop your pouting, now.... we'll make it - well at least interesting.Have a little faith! Have I ever misled you?

Ahem.... It has been said that the brain is the 'Sexiest Part of the Human Body'. And research 'indicates that holding your partner’s hand reduces activation in those brain regions that govern emotional and behavioral responding to threat responses, to a greater degree than holding either no hand or the hand of a stranger.' I'm sure you've noticed in the images on this blog that I have a particular fascination with hands. Ward and I always have our fingers interlocked - in the grocery store, driving, watching tv, when I am across his lap (even if you like it who doesn't feel a little fight or flight when it gets really intense?), when we make love. So that particular scientific finding makes just tons and tons of sense - in the context of Ward and I at least.

Sexual arousal, and in fact the act of falling in love, are functions of our reptilian brain, it is a function designed to ensure propagation of the species. What does that mean? Means we cannot control when we become aroused, and we cannot control the act of falling in love. As with all other neurological functions, they are initiated and controlled by neurochemicals, dopamine in this case, which when we engage in activities that ensure species survival turns on our reward circuit. Dopamine also is the 'gotta have it chemical....the more we engage in survival activities (eating, drinking, propagation), the more we want, the more we need, the more we seek.

When we are aroused or stressed (yes, ladies, this explains why spankings help for stress relief!) our bodies also release norepinephrine which depletes serotonin. The deep touch of spanking, of being held firmly provides proprioceptive input, which raises our serotonin level. The spanking also releases oxytocin, a natural pain reliever and the brain chemical behind bonding and staying in love. It is also called the cuddle or bonding hormone. Men are also affected by adrenaline, testosterone and vasopressin (a hormone essential to orgasm).

Now the way our brains function, is to embed this sensory input into our reptilian brain as memory - this touch means that you will get feel good hormone soup! This could also explain bratting to a certain extent, especially if you are reluctant to admit that you need or enjoy being spanked. You will engage in behavior that will bring the stimulus that you crave and will bring the desired neurochemicals and emotional bonding. I myself have no compunction against asking.... I know, I know...

How does it feel? Exquisitely pleasurable. He comes in, you hand him a drink, he feels honored, by the simple act of submission. His hand may go to your hair, which he will fist, and pull you towards him and own you with his kiss.. The process of arousal begins in both of you with endorphins, and then our amygdala is triggered and we are on auto-pilot. A soft breath across his lips, a soft look from under the lashes of lowered eyes. The growl - Mine! The whisper - yes. Teeth on your neck, you bare your neck to him. He speaks, you respond. It's a lovely dance.

He reaches around slides your pants down, whispers - 'you won't need these'. Your brain is already floating in a sea of feel good and you have lost all power to speak - you nod. He smiles, whispers 'good girl' and guides you across his lap. All you want is more. He rubs and strokes and you think you will lose your mind, you're breathing hard and fast, he begins to spank, softly, firmly his hand cupping around your cheeks as he spanks. He stops to praise, to kiss, to stroke, your body responds. He dips his hand to test and comes back smiling.

He spanks one spot ferociously, leaving you squirming, moves to another, your hand snakes back, not to deflect, to take his, he laces his fingers with yours, and continues to redden his target. When you are panting, he bends, kisses, speaks softly of love and pride, and his hands soothe and minister and the pain is forgotten, when he starts again, it is as if he starts anew. Then you dissolve into each other and minister each to the other, and fueled by your biology, your love and your bond and your attachment deepen.

How does it feel? It is exquisite, you are owned, you are safe to yield and be vulnerable, you are a bundle of pleasure, both emotional and physical. And the place you go to, together, is insular and of your own making. And you want to do it again and again and again....

(Ward had a prior engagement, so please come back tomorrow evening to get his POV. Why then did I publish it? Because he told me to, and I'm a good girl.)

HIS POV:
A touch of lust, a sprinkle of science, a dash of heat and great big gobs of love and laughter... What June has described is our potent and heady recipe for a loving home and a harmonious, loving relationship. When she gives me the bright and shining gift of her submission it is like a kiss during a downpour, like a chocolate cake in a thunderstorm, and like the most seductively sweet thing I've ever known. Her body sings to me and mine calls to her, our minds meld and we both gain so much from our communication and unity. I become more addicted to my lady every second...

19 comments:

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. I love the geeky kinky insight. I love the scientific explanations. I love that it answers the question I as soooo often (what is wrong with me that I love to be spanked/flogged/...) Your last paragraph about how you feel is - PERFECT! Thank you so much for this post - I LOVE IT!!

SirQsMLB, I got a kick out of being called a kinky geek :) That is kind of my thing, I like to understand the science of human interaction, guess that's why I'm a psych major - more than like maybe, I need to understand.

I have asked myself that same question, it's kinda cool to have a biological explanation for it - something beyond it just feels good.

Thank you very kindly! It is most difficult to put that sensory experience into words. Youll see me describe it elsewhere on the blot as brain tickle - very scientific, I know! It's just pleasant, and soft, and floaty, and yummy.

Okay - well, that sounds pretty good, alright June..... and scientific.I guess my only question would be why everyone doesn't experience sexual arousal as a result of spanking, even of the disciplinary kind?But this is very, very interesting, and thank you :)

Hi, Lillie, thanks for reading, good question. Arousal originates in the brain as a reponse to stimulus. It occurs on the same level that breathing occurs, it is automatic, and a biological function. Most people will show signs of physical arousal as a result of being spanked. I think what you are describing, or rather questioning is conscious arousal, which centers not on biology but on thought.

Our thought is influenced by social mores, norms, conventions and taboos. So while our bodies produce that pleasure inducing soup we may have been taught that it is wrong or even depraved to draw satisfaction and pleasure from the act.

I really like the explanation. It was a mystery to my why spanking makes me feel the way it does. How is it ttwd is bringing us so much closer that ever before? Now I know. And I like it very much! Thank you!

I like following the path. I like dissecting things. I'm like a kid with a screwdriver & radio, taking it apart to see how it works with human interaction and the way our mind and body react. I'm the 'why' girl, lol. Daddy says sometimes I think too much :) I was surprised about oxytocin, but enjoyed learning about it - it makes sense!

Thanks, Minelle :) That's something that I've been wondering about for a while. both of our boys have sensory processing disorder, one is defensive and the other is a sensory seeker.

The sensory seeker needs constant motion,has no fear, and needs deep pressure and intense flavors. Since he was little he comes and lays over your lap & asks you to pat his bottom (Daddy says he has tendencies, lol) - which got me thinking, I wonder if I have it - and I wonder how many of us may to some degree. Food for thought!

Don't you also feel that with the kids it is the intensity or lack there of that helps or doesn't?I have a relative where if the touch is too soft forget it....then the blanket wrap and half laying works. Transfer that to "us" and no wonder everyone is so different. Plus, that confusion makes manydoubt what works for them!!!

Oh, definitely, Minelle. Our sensory seeker, if you just 'drape' your arms around him, he squirms and ruches away. He needs you to really embrace him, to apply firm pressure. Then he snuggles in and calms down.

Oh definitely, and add to that the constraints placed on us by society, and being told we're sick or wrong. Makes you feel wrong and different.

Thanks, Susie :) It was much easier to write about the mechanics than the how it feels part - because once the brain tickle starts - it's all limp puddin' head stuff - defies description. It is very comforting, it's floaty, it's insular - it's yum!

Me, too, faerie! I had a funny thought - we have a stray kitty that we've been feeding for a year - she came 'knocking' one Saturday, she'd been fed & watered, we let her in & 30 minutes later, she was in labor under our dining table! Well the wubbies are at the point of toddling around, and when you pick them up by the scruff of the neck they go immediately docile - that's what Daddy's dominance does - picks me up by the scruff of my neck, lol :)

Thanks very much, Roz & thanks for reading! I learned a couple of things researching it, and I love to learn, cause I like to figure things out. Yes, it does! And it also explains how DD and spanking helps to deepen the connection between the partners. It's really fascinating!

Thanks, Jake :) Sorry, this comment slipped past me! Yes, I have this tremendous need to understand stuff, and this makes so much sense. It explains that delirious feeling I get when Ward does certain things, or even merely says something without ever having a hand on me. I rather love feel-good-hormone soup :)