So my mom decided to go out and buy our wedding favors without consulting my fiance or I. She ordered them froma family friend in florida and i finally got to see them last night. They are coasters – which is a lovely idea but they have a picture of another couple on them and it looks old. Like literally the coasters look like they could have come from the dollar store. Even though they are glass. My finance and i are going to try and see if we can somehow take off the picture and personalize the coasters but that’s going to take some work. The other favor that she got which is what i am really freaking out over is a bell. One of those bells that people use when they want service! Yikes!!! that’s going to be a nightmare of a reception with people ringing these stupid bells.To make it worse the bell look really really cheap. I have no idea how to tell my mother that her favors are horrible. They also do not match the decor/style of our wedding. What she got looks vintage and our wedding is very chic/modern and elegant. Our intial idea was to make a donation to a charity on behalf of our guests. I think above all the bigger issue is my mom is going out and getting surprise things for our wedding that we really can’t stand and are not our taste whatsoever. Has anyone else ever run into this problem? Plus who wants a bell in their house afterward. ugh.

We were thinking about that. I have to go back to my mom’s and actually take one of each and see if our wedding planner can work with us to improvise. I love the idea of handing out coasters as there are really nice ones that are made for weddings. The bell has got to go. That box is going to go missing by the time our wedding rolls around 🙂

colleen.nerissa: Don’t tell her the bells are fugly, just tell her that they will be annoying at the reception. Even as a guest I’d be super annoyed. Will there be kids there? What a nightmare. Just tell her you don’t think the bell is a good idea (not that it’s cheap or ugly).

With the coasters, like a PP mentioned, can you paint them? Or maybe make photo stickers and stick over the other photo?

Can you just tell her that you appreciate her going out of her way to do something like that but you and your future husband had already decided on __________ as a favor and it’s something that is very important to you both. I would follow it up with, “I was wondering if you would like to help me pick out _____ since I know it’s important to you that you are involved with planning!” Basically, tell her no but offer to let her help with something else so she doesn’t feel left out. Weddings aren’t about in-laws as they are about two people getting married. But that’s just my .02 🙂

playdohpants: we are going to try and take the photo off and replace it with one of our engagement photos. I also didn’t mention that the bell has some sort of sticker glued on it with a cut out of two people kissing. it just looks sooo ridiculous. I don’t know what wedding she went to where she loved that idea but it has to top one of the worst ideas for favors ever.

urgh… What is it with mothers? My mother also went out and bought favours without consulting us. The favour in itself isn’t horible, but she bought these huge akward boxes for the favours to go in. It doesn’t go with the decor at all, and I feel sooo bad to tell her that I hate it.

If I were you, I’d be upfront: tell your mom you really appreciate her help with the wedding, but you already have most of the details already sorted out and you don’t want her wasting her money on more surprises that aren’t necessary for the wedding (can you tell her that you’d already purchased favors, even if that’s not true?). Is there a specific job you could give her that you think she’d do to your taste? It sounds like she just wants to be involved! My mom is the same way (thankfully we have very similar taste!)

runlolarun: The good thing is most of the details are done. Thank god i was able to pick out the decor without any problems. She was located in a different city so she could not be hands on. That’s the reason she went and did the favors. I have her helping with flowers and the cake. I am going to have to tell her the favors are a no go at some point. She hasn’t seen our venue yet or the decorations i picked out. i have a feeling once she see’s everything she may realize her favors just aren’t going to cut it.

sara_tiara: That’s the question of the year. why get coasters with a picture of another couple on it. Just ridiculous. She tried but failed. Epic fail! lol