I just read a personality profile of an ISTJ, which happens to be my personality type, and that article basically pointed out so many things about me. I’m going to quote a lot of things from the article I just read in a bit.

As an ISTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.

That’s exactly what I do. I have huge troubles with metaphors and anything abstract.
Quote #2

ISTJs tend to believe in laws and traditions, and expect the same from others. They’re not comfortable with breaking laws or going against the rules. If they are able to see a good reason for stepping outside of the established mode of doing things, the ISTJ will support that effort. However, ISTJs more often tend to believe that things should be done according to procedures and plans. If an ISTJ has not developed their Intuitive side sufficiently, they may become overly obsessed with structure, and insist on doing everything “by the book”.

I do not like breaking tradition because there was always a reason why they are set. If I’m able to identify this reason and agree with it, I would be very comfortable living with those traditions. It’s also true I like doing this by the book, but at the same time, I see a lot of things as situational, meaning that my actions are based on whats happening around me.

Quote #3

The ISTJ is extremely dependable on following through with things which he or she has promised. For this reason, they sometimes get more and more work piled on them. Because the ISTJ has such a strong sense of duty, they may have a difficult time saying “no” when they are given more work than they can reasonably handle. For this reason, the ISTJ often works long hours, and may be unwittingly taken advantage of.

Total truth. I remember always agreeing to take on more work at my Co-op job if it was needed of me. I also totally remember working on homework or other work for 15 hours straight.

Quote #4

Under stress, ISTJs may fall into “catastrophe mode”, where they see nothing but all of the possibilities of what could go wrong. They will berate themselves for things which they should have done differently, or duties which they failed to perform. They will lose their ability to see things calmly and reasonably, and will depress themselves with their visions of doom.

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My daughter in-law is an istj. I am an enfj. We are having some problems with her being obsessed with my grandchildren. She wants complete control. I have a new grandson. She seems to see me as a threat and does not want me to hold him. My son (who is an intj) has to physically take the baby from her and give him to me. In six years, she has never once asked me if I would like to hold her babies (3) or handed the babies to me. I am hurting over this situation and do not know how to stop hurting or how to handle her in this situation. This is a huge problem for me and even though it’s a deliberate action, I hate to think it is with malice. In some ways because of her anger towards (very subtle but there), I feel she wants my husband and I out of the picture. All I want is to be close to my grandchildren, my son and my daughter in law. At this time, I don’t see that happening without a lot of stuffing my feelings inside. Please help!

Hi! Thanks for your comment!
I’m not exactly an expert on this subject as this is just stuff I read online and I am sure there are others that could provide better advice than I can. I’ll try to do what I can though. Plus, I am not exactly at the age where I should be having children, so my thoughts are coming from a young adult’s perspective, whereas your though is from someone a lot older.
I don’t know if you’ve tried, but maybe you should talk to your son and daughter in law about this? I feel that the best way to solve the problem is to confront it. One thing about ISTJ’s (at least it applies to me), they have a tendency to feel that they are always right and may not listen to logic (or at least feel their reason is better than yours). Another important thing is that you should try to avoid an argument by not raising your voice. Since you’re an ENFJ, you may have a tendency to use feelings rather than logic. That is one of the big differences between ISTJ and ENFJ, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to work out. If the relationship is going to work out, both sides must put in the effort. I’m not saying that you’re not putting in effort, I am just trying to make a point about working with people that have different personalities.