Tasha Kheiriddin: Today’s scandalettes no more than heavy petting

The most memorable political scandals tend to involve two things: Money and sex. The current crop of Ottawa scandalettes involves some of the first, but regrettably, none of the second. I say regrettably, because in its place the opposition is reduced to braying about the arcane notion of “respect for democracy.” To be sure, the Government of Canada’s Harper Government’s refusal to cost its programs and fire untruthful Cabinet ministers constitutes bad behaviour, but they don’t violate Canadians’ fundamental freedoms. Nor are breaches of Parliamentary procedure likely to excite voters into welcoming an election.

In contrast, people can relate to sex scandals. They involve desires common to everyone, as well as the curious inability to curb those desires, even when the stakes are sky-high. From Gary Hart’s monkey business with Donna Rice to John Edwards’ cheating on his cancerstricken wife Elizabeth, the response is the same. How could he risk his career for a good time; how could he throw away decades of work for a fleeting moment of gratification?

Of course, not all sinners fall immediately, or even fall at all. Some make a lifestyle of debauchery -like Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi -until they finally cross the bright line between playboy and pariah. Others, like the hookerhappy former governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, tumble, and then rise, and then get their own talk show. Still others, like former U.S. president Bill Clinton, never hit bottom, buoyed by the willingness of an adoring public (and left-wing press) to forgive their transgressions.

Canada has had a few sex scandals, but recent ones seem pretty tame in comparison. In 1978, then-solicitor-general Francis Fox got his mistress pregnant, and forged her husband’s signature on an abortion consent form. In 1985, thendefence minister Robert Coates and two aides visited a strip bar on a trip to Germany. And, in 2008, then-minister of foreign affairs Maxime Bernier dallied with former biker babe Julie Couillard. All of these politicians earned themselves a place in infamy, and a vacation from Cabinet, though Fox was reappointed two years later, and Bernier seems more popular outside that charmed circle than within it.

To find a real zinger of a sex scandal in our kind and gentle nation, you have to go back to the 1960s and the Munsinger Affair. Now that was a scandal, featuring allegations of prostitution, spying and security breaches, and supposedly straightlaced Progressive Conservative cabinet ministers.

Gerda Munsinger was an eastern European “playgirl” who worked as a waitress and hostess at the “Chez Paree” nightclub in Montreal. In December 1960, prime minister John Diefenbaker learned of a two-year relationship between Munsinger and his associate minister of defence, Pierre Sévigny. Munsinger was suspected of being a Soviet spy, an allegation she denied. Nevertheless, Diefenbaker demanded that Sévigny end the affair. Sévigny did and kept his cabinet post; Munsinger was then deported in 1961 following an RCMP investigation.

But Sévigny wasn’t the only Tory to indulge in Munsigner’s charms. Fellow cabinet minister George Hees, as well as several other government officials also enjoyed the company of the, ahem, professional girlfriend. Secret RCMP recordings of the trysts reveal some juicy tidbits, including Hees apparently asking Munsinger, “Have you ever seen such a body?” and the thumping of Sévigny’s wooden leg on the floor at the, er, crucial moment of their encounters.

The affairs did not become public knowledge until 1966, when an exasperated Lucien Cardin, then Liberal minister of justice, retaliated to Tory demands for a public inquiry into the dismissal of a postal worker who had been accused of spying for the Soviets. When Diefen-baker accused the minister of incompetence, Cardin lashed out: “He is the very last person in the House who can afford to give advice on handling of security cases in Canada . and I’m not kidding . I want the right honourable gentleman to tell the house about his participation in the Monseignor (sic) case, when he was prime minister of this country.”

Cardin’s statement provoked a fullblown crisis, with MPs debating the issue in the House for weeks and demanding an inquiry. Prime minister Lester B. Pearson finally appointed Supreme Court Justice Wishart Spence to head a Royal Commission into the affair. Spence ended up chastising Diefenbaker for leniency toward his ministers, but failed to find Sevigny guilty of betraying state secrets.

Years later, cabinet documents revealed that Pearson also resorted to diversionary tactics to cool the debate over the Munsinger matter. These included holding a debate on ending the death penalty, a topic which he deemed more controversial than even a sex scandal. “Because of its special and non-political character, this question would probably help in clearing the air,” cabinet minutes quote Pearson as saying.

Respect for democracy? Rebranding the government? Yawn. If that’s all the opposition has got, they should stay as far away from the polls as possible. Compared to a good, old fashioned sex scandal, these scandalettes are merely heavy petting.

In the wake of a Grammy Awards ceremony that disappointed many, from Kanye West to the masses on Twitter lamenting the state of pop music, a historical perspective is key. Few are better poised to offer one than Andy Kim.