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50 Cent’s Headphones Company Acquires Another

Well it’s been a pretty exhausting, exciting month for Hip-Hop royalty, eh? We’ve been watching Jay-Z and Kanye’s captivating “Throne” for a few weeks now. Lil’ Wayne reportedly outsold WTT’s first week numbers with his release of Tha Carter IV, probably because “Baby money” bought up most of the copies. Even the lil’ homie Game finally put out his much-delayed The R.E.D. Album (laughs audibly). Question: what do these things all have in common?

Unsurprisingly, they’re all former opponents of 50 Cent, formerly known as “50” but no longer famous enough for shorthand. It’s pretty remarkable that the well-known beef-monger has been so quiet and respectful of all his former foes recent successes. Hold on, I’ve gotta check my email.

Well, shit. Scratch that second paragraph save for the first sentence. What timing, Curtis! Thank you for giving us something to talk about—we all totally miss you as a rapper and can’t wait for your third album to finally come out!

Today, it was announced that 50 Cent’s new, according to the press release, “highly anticipated,” audio headphone and accessories brand, SMS Audio (of which 50 is CEO), had acquired the assets of KoNo Enterprises, a boutique audio designer, developer and manufacturer of fashion headphones.

“I’m eager for my fans to hear my music the way it was intended—the way it was mastered in the studio,” said 50, straight-facedly. The beauty of it, besides the timing, is how much creative brain power was saved by copying what Dre, Gaga, Puff, etc. said about Beats nearly verbatim.