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Which browser?
Most now have some add-on you can install that will allow setting an auto-refresh on a tab. Set it for something like every 10 minutes. With some creativity you can even setup a watch script that can do anything you want. Text message your cell, speak out loud, or even the guy that said he wanted the game to tickle his balls each time it turned. But LLamaserver is limited to the menu so for most of those its easiest to set the game up on a server like Dom3Minions (especially that last one)

I'm reminded of the email conversations in Tai Yong Medical headquarters in Deus Ex Human Revolution regarding the 5 email limit for internal security which includes notifications that your inbox is nearly full and your sent emails.

I honestly wonder what I did so wrong to end up so far behind. Things have finally started picking up but I'm still very much a statically outlier.

I think you should have started expanding earlier - you conquered you second province on turn 4, while everyone else did on turn 2 (or 3 in Atlantis's case). Niefelheim has pretty strong soldiers, and you should have been able to conquer some stuff using only you starting army.

You also didn't start researching until turn 9, while everyone else started on turn 1 or 2. It's going to be tough to catch up there.