To recap: You and your betrothed can actually married life on the radio of a morning sports radio program. In many places, this is known as "spousal abuse," of course.

Since we can't fathom the mindset of a pair of human beings who would go through such an endeavor with a straight face, we encourage you once again to get your applications in before the Friday deadline. We're hoping for some kind of wacky TV sitcom plot, where the justice of the peace accidentally marries Greenberg and Golic, leading to that inevitable, long-delayed moment when the two finally consumate their Odd Couple relationship with some good old fashioned porking. We don't need to tell you who's the top and who's the bottom, obviously.