Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

(My coworker also happens to be my very best friend. He is severely disfigured, but sweet and very talented at carving. However, because of his appearance, our manager keeps him working in the back room most of the time. One day our manager is out sick and has left me in charge. My best friend comes out of the back room to bring me some inventory. A customer sees him.)

Customer: “Oh, dear!” *to me* “Bless you, dear.”

Me: “Um, thank you?”

Customer: “For hiring someone like that poor boy!”

(She is speaking as though my friend isn’t standing right beside me. He looks hurt, and I try to hurry the customer along.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “People like you really are a blessing, dear. Even the retarded need jobs in this country. I would never employ one, but I certainly respect those who do.”

(Today is a busy weekend. I’m working checkout and there is a huge line waiting. In the middle of one of my transactions, a woman cuts everyone in line. The people in line are visibly agitated but just let it go.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. I cannot check you out. These customers have been waiting in line patiently for their turn. Please go wait like everyone else.”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry. Please, can you make an exception just this once?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it just wouldn’t be fair for everyone else in line. Please wait for your turn.”

(After I say this, the customer’s mood quickly swings from a cheery to angry.)

Customer: “This store should treat their customers better! I’m giving them all my hard earned money. You know what? F*** this place and everyone here! You people are f******* idiots! I’m going to shop at [Competitor]!” *storms out without her items*

(As she turns her back and storms off, almost everyone in line, and even some people in other lines, flip her off in unison.)

(It should be noted that I’m a bleeding heart and I cry easily. It’s a really slow night, so I get pretty excited when I see a dad and his daughter, who looks to be about seven, approaching my line. The dad leans in close to me to whisper.)

Dad: “She’s been saving her money up for a while to buy this stuff. Can you split the payment to do her $8.00 in cash and the rest on my card?”

Me: “Of course I can! I have to do the cash first, though.”

Dad: “Perfect. I also have some things to buy in a separate transaction.”

(The girl starts emptying a small purse of money: a few dollar bills but mostly coins. I’m thinking the girl was saving for some toys and art supplies from our kids’ section but after she’s done emptying her purse, she places on the counter pet supplies: a collar, a leash, our most expensive dog bone, and shampoo.)

Girl: “I love my puppy, so I’m buying him some presents!”

Me: “Wow! Gosh, that’s really sweet of you! It must have taken a lot of hard work and dedication to save up this much!”

Girl:*nodding* “I didn’t buy any candy or anything.”

(Her father winks at me and nods toward the big stack of junk food he’s placed on the other end of the counter. I grin and start ringing the girl’s order up while she counts. She gets to $8, mostly in pennies, and scoops it all up to hand to me.)

Girl: “Here, miss. I’d like to pay, please.”

Me: “I think I can help with that! So that’s $8.”

(Her dad pays for the rest of the order on his card and then I start ringing up the snacks.)

Dad: “Thank you for being so patient.”

Me: “Please, sir, it’s no trouble at all. It’s a really slow night, and I have a dog myself. She could have taken all the time in the world, if she’d wanted to!”

(The girl giggles and hugs her bag close to her. Father and daughter both thank me, and after they leave my manager approaches me.)

(The restaurant I work for allows us to dress up on Halloween, provided we do not wear a mask or anything revealing, too scary, or otherwise inappropriate. I dress up like a female biker as this is the easiest way to dress up and still follow the rules. To add little extra touches to my costume I would slap on some fake tattoos and use makeup to create a black eye. I am working drive thru and a few people comment on the black eye, but would just remark on what a good job I had done with the makeup. Then a gentleman pulls up to the window.)

Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you okay?”

Me:*joking* “Yeah. You should see the other guy, though.”

Customer:*completely serious* “You mean to tell me a MAN did that to you! I thought you got into a fight with another girl!”

Me: “No, sir. No one did this to me. It’s makeup.”

Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie if someone is hitting you.”

Me: “I’m perfectly aware of that, sir, but I assure you it’s just makeup. See?”

(I wipe my finger on the ‘bruise’ and show him the color on my finger.)

Customer: “Oh, okay. I thought I was going to have to beat someone up for you.”

Me: “I can tell you right now: if someone ever hit me I would make sure they SERIOUSLY regretted it immediately!”