Magician David Blaine’s latest “trick” will be hanging upside down for 60 hours. To call us “unimpressed” would be a bit of an understatement. Here are 50 stunts that would be more impressive than David Blaine: Dive of Death.

1. David Blaine eats 3 jalapenos in a row.

2. David Blaine drinks a gallon of milk in an hour.

3. David Blaine eats 6 saltine crackers in one minute.

4. David Blaine does 100 somersaults.

5. David Blaine eats nothing but McDonalds for 30 days.

6. David Blaine goes 30 days without being confused for Chris Angel or that dude, Mystery.

7. David Blaine watches a season of Celebracadabra.

8. David Blaine hops on one foot all day.

9. David Blaine wears a pair of shoes that are one size too small for 60 hours.

10. David Blaine gives up chocolate for Lent.

11. David Blaine becomes a fraternity pledge.

12. David Blaine goes 5000 miles before getting his oil changed.

13. David Blaine does 21 shots on his birthday.

14. David Blaine helps his girlfriend move a couch.

15. David Blaine shoplifts at Best Buy.

16. David Blaine solves a Rubick’s Cube.

17. David Blaine does a 5000 piece puzzle.

18. David Blaine learns all the words to “It’s the End of the World As We Know It” by REM.

19. David Blaine escapes from a Chinese finger trap.

20. David Blaine does the Presidential Physical Fitness Test.

21. David Blaine drives on E for 50 miles.

22. David Blaine wins rock-paper-scissors 10 times in a row.

23. David Blaine eats Taco Bell sober.

24. David Blaine breaks Wilt Chamberlain’s sex record.

25. David Blaine eats an entire one of those giant lollipops.

26. David Blaine eats just one Lays potato chip.

27. David Blaine memorizes and recites every state capital.

28. David Blaine goes to every Major League Baseball stadium in one summer.

29. David Blaine watches all 6 Star Wars movies in a row.

30. David Blaine learns conversational Spanish.

31. David Blaine goes 2 years without a checkup at the dentist.

32. David Blaine does the maze on the back of a cereal box. In pen.

33. David Blaine memorizes the first 10 digits of Pi.

34. David Blaine successfully says 4 tongue twisters.

35. David Blaine turns his eyelids inside out.

36. David Blaine pleasures himself to completion 8 times in one day.

37. David Blaine speaks in Pig Latin for 4 whole hours.

38. David Blaine finds Waldo on every page.

39. David Blaine wears the same pair of contacts for 3 months.

40. David Blaine eats 10 hard boiled eggs.

41. David Blaine stops saying “bitch” for 5 days.

42. David Blaine wears a fat suit for a day to see how poorly people treat him.

43. David Blaine tears a phone book in half.

44. David Blaine writes with his opposite hand for an entire hour.

45. David Blaine peels 20 potatoes.

46. David Blaine does 50 pushups.

47. David Blaine completes a difficult Sudoku puzzle.

48. David Blaine wins 6 games of PhotoHunt.

49. David Blaine swims 20 minutes after eating.

50. David Blaine reads this entire post.

Comedy.com’s ListMaster is Mike Bridenstine. He still thinks David Blaine and that pregnant man are the same person.