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Dogs….. A Controlled Evolution….

Dogs love us way more than cats do…..In fact…they love us more than anything…. They evolved that way…. We domesticated wolves and over many many many years they evolved into animals that hardly resemble their ancestors and no longer care about natural instincts…They just want to lick us and stare at us and love us….That’s their lot in life….

There’s one question when it comes to the evolution of the dog though…. Why did they fail to grow thumbs….??…

Think about it….Dogs are man’s best friend…and our human best friends are always there to help….So why are dogs so limited….??..We’re they not meant to help us the same way our two legged friends do…??..Sure… you can train a dog to get you a beer…but they can’t open it for you….Especially if opening said beer entails using a bottle opener…..If you don’t have a bottle opener handy and are forced to use a lighter to open your beer….Well…forget asking your dog for help….They don’t have thumbs so they’ll never be able to get the needed leverage to open a beer with a lighter….Poor dogs…They are so limited in what they can actually do…..

There’s a reason for this lack of evolution and I truly believe I may have figured out why dogs don’t have thumbs……

Picture how fucking annoying it would actually be if your dog could hold a pencil….or a pen…or crayons…..THAT..!!.. That right there is the reason dogs didn’t evolve thumbs…. It would be terribly annoying if dogs had the ability to draw and write….That’s all they would do while we’re at work…..They would draw us pictures…write us letters and poems about how much they love us…..

And of course they’d want us to hang those things on our refrigerators….

It would get really old….really fast……The only upside would be they might be less apt to chew up our shit when we’re not home……

The cons far outweigh the pros….

So…..Be glad that selective evolution exists and revel in the fact that you can see the outside of your fridge the next time you get yourself a beer………..