Pantaloons

From Plastic Tub

pantaloon(s), pants, trousers, et al.n.1. The physical apparatus of evocation; or the a priori assumption of a nonexistence. 2. The apparel of truth as filtered thru the apparitions of Poob Culture, resulting in the complete rejection of such. 3. The arrangement of society according to the manipulation of the imaginary, the apparel of such. 4. Dependent on size, an absurdity meant to convey the epistemological isolation of the Ego, often used in the plural and as such gaining a revolutionary character.

Usage

"Lately, there has been chatter concerning my dress, particularly, my pants -- what are they made of? What is their date and place of manufacture? Do they sing, dance, spark? Etc. There are those who ask if I even own my pants at all. As if I would steal pants. It's absurd. But let me straighten everyone out here and now. I have never worn tiny pants. Will never wear tiny pants. In point of fact, it reeks of Adid's doing -- he was a lunatic when it came to pants. Me? I couldn't care one way or the other." -- from An Interview With Stimes Addisson, in the periodical Piebald, vol. 1, no. 3.

"I ask you, can there be a more incredible invention? The world stands in prim admiration before the pantaloons -- the smaller the better." -- from Sketches of My Face, by Alexandre Dacusse.

"I can't believe this guy. I let him borrow my pants all the time. Nice ones, too." -- comment made by Yon Milhaus, when asked by a reporter how he felt about recent comments made about his character by Nevid Kessar.