What Brutal American Torture of Terrorists is Like

The techniques used against the most stalwart al-Qaida members, such as Abu Zubaydah, included one terrifying procedure referred to as “the attention grasp.” As described in horrifying detail in the Justice Department memo, the “attention grasp” consisted of:

“(G)rasping the individual with both hands, one hand on each side of the collar opening, in a controlled and quick motion. In the same motion as the grasp, the individual is drawn toward the interrogator.”

The end.

And that’s not all! As the torments were gradually increased, next up the interrogation ladder came “walling.” This involves pushing the terrorist against a flexible wall, during which his “head and neck are supported with a rolled hood or towel that provides a C-collar effect to prevent whiplash.”

People pay to have a lot rougher stuff done to them at Six Flags Great Adventure.

As the memo darkly notes, walling doesn’t cause any pain, but is supposed to induce terror by making a “loud noise”: “(T)he false wall is in part constructed to create a loud sound when the individual hits it, which will further shock and surprise.” (!!!)

The CIA’s interrogation techniques couldn’t be more ridiculous if they were out of Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition sketch:

Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions! …
Hmm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch … THE COMFY CHAIR!

So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair! …

Now — you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunchtime, with only a cup of coffee at 11.

Further up the torture ladder — from Guantanamo, not Monty Python — comes the “insult slap,” which is designed to be virtually painless, but involves the interrogator invading “the individual’s personal space.”

I will spare you the gruesome details of the CIA’s other comical interrogation techniques and leap directly to the penultimate “torture” in their arsenal: the caterpillar.

In this unspeakable brutality, a harmless caterpillar is placed in the terrorist’s cell. Justice Department lawyers expressly denied the interrogators’ request to trick the terrorist into believing the caterpillar was a “stinging insect.”

The most fiendish method of torture ever devised by the human mind.

Finally, the most savage interrogation technique at Guantanamo was “waterboarding,” which is only slightly rougher than the Comfy Chair.

Thousands of our troops are waterboarded every year as part of their training, but not until it was done to Khalid Sheikh Mohammed — mastermind of the 9/11 attack on America — were liberal consciences shocked.

As non-uniformed combatants, all of the detainees at Guantanamo could have been summarily shot on the battlefield under the Laws of War.

Instead, we gave them comfy chairs, free lawyers, better food than is served in Afghani caves, prayer rugs, recreational activities and top-flight medical care — including one terrorist who was released, whereupon he rejoined the jihad against America, after being fitted for an expensive artificial leg at Guantanamo, courtesy of the U.S. taxpayer.

Using EIT on 9-11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed disrupted “dozens” of planned al-Qaida attacks and saved hundreds and thousands of lives.Waterboarding 9-11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed led to information that prevented a similar attack on Los Angeles.

For how the terrorists at Guantanamo Bay are treated (to free Qurans, Game Boys, laptop computers, air conditioning, exercise equipment, vocational training, plenty of good food), see The Horrors of Holiday Club Gitmo.

There, you can also witness what REAL TORTURE, NOT BY THE AMERICANSlooks like:

The hoopla over these inanely minor “tortures” is for me the most ample of the countless depressing demonstrations of the decline and fall of the West. “Torture”– and I mean even more serious and painful measures than these pantywaist techniques– is ENTIRELY WARRANTED when used to help save a city, or a busful of innocent civilians. We are NOT “BEING LIKE THEM,” because “THEM” are bloodthirsty killers intent on taking as many innocent lives as possible, whereas “WE” are attempting to SAVE INNOCENT LIVES. All commentators, even conservative ones, overlook this fact– so brainwashed by a Leftist zeitgeist have we become.

But one previously unknown tactic the C.I.A. proposed — but never used — against Abu Zubaydah, a terrorist operative, involved exploiting what was thought to be his fear of insects.

“As we understand it, you plan to inform Zubaydah that you are going to place a stinging insect into the box, but you will actually place a harmless insect in the box, such as a caterpillar,” one memo says.

Ugh! Looks like the kid who threw an earthworm at me in Primary school was a CIA mole agent!

Now things like the facial slap and stress positions. And I’m reading from the memo here Tony, ‘sitting on the floor with legs extended straight out in front of him, with his arms raised above his head, kneeling on the floor while leaning back at a 45-degree angle’.

Well tash, looks like most parents and various insulted women are guilty of ‘harsh torture techniques’! Not to mention yoga instructors bending you like some compatriot of Jack Bauer…