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According to Polygon, the remake of The Lion King won’t have “Be Prepared,” which is the best Disney villain song (fight me). Instead of talking about that, this news spurred a discussion in the Geek.com content pit about the thirstiest villain songs. Because some villain songs are imposing. Some villain songs are operative. And some villain songs are straight-up about raw-dog boning.

If you go back through classic Disney movies, you’ll see a lot of villain songs being about one of two things: How much the villain fucks, or how much the villain wants to fuck. So, list drive go, let’s get some gross stupid on this page.

8. “Love is an Open Door” (Frozen)

“Maybe it’s the party talking, or the chocolate fondue.”

In Hans’ hands, thirstiness is a weapon. And because the song’s a duet with Anna and Hans, we’ll classify it as a villain song. Charming nobleman preying on one of the heroines purely to get power. Anna’s heart is Hans’ way to the throne, and Anna’s pants is Hans’ way to Anna’s heart.

7. “Mine Mine Mine” (Pocahontas)

“But think how they’ll squirm when they see how I glitter! The ladies at court will be all a-twitter”

You can’t get the ladies if you don’t have the cash, or at least that’s Ratcliffe’s philosophy. He came to the new world to make a name for himself and climb the social ladder, so he can pull down some courtly strange. This isn’t the thirstiest song on the list by far, but you know what he’s all about. Find the mother lode, then find another load.

6. “Shiny” (Moana)

“I will sparkle like a wealthy woman’s neck.”

Tamatoa is what happens when David Bowie turns into a giant enemy crab. Dude’s the most glam thing I’ve seen in a Disney movie. There’s no doubt about it: This crab fucks.

5. “Friends on the Other Side” (The Princess and the Frog)

“Sit down at my table, put your minds at ease. If you relax it’ll enable me to do anything I please.”

This song isn’t directly thirsty in its lyrics or theme, but it really shows off Dr. Facilier’s thirstiness and how he fuels it. He’s a greedy, power-hungry voodoo sorcerer who dresses like Willy Wonka’s pimp cousin, and he’s voiced by Keith David, who famously didn’t take it out for air. You know Dr. Facilier fucks the moment you see and hear him, before any song starts playing. But then he starts dealing cards and making his pitch, and you see exactly how he fucks: with style, and the cash he swindles out of tourists.

4. “Poor, Unfortunate Souls” (The Little Mermaid)

Ursula, the Sea Witch, is in modern parlance, a BBW. Unfortunately, with Disney animation’s view of body image, that means she can’t get a lot of play. So what can a woman do but enable some protagonist banging until she gets her own chance? Lots of Disney villains use magic, but few use magic to help the hero get some dick.

3. “The Elegant Captain Hook” (Peter Pan)

“There isn’t a boy who won’t enjoy a-workin’ for Captain Hook!”

This song could have been called “I Need an Adult,” for all of the subtext it has. An imposing older man with creepy facial hair and wearing a long coat trying to entice a group of children to join him in his vehicle with promises of candy and fun? The main threat is bad enough, but the implications are much more unfortunate.

2. “Gaston” (Beauty and the Beast)

“No one hits like Gaston! Matches wits like Gaston!”

And in bedrooms, nobody dicks like Gaston! While “The Mob Song” is a much darker and imposing track in Beauty and the Beast, Gaston’s opening number still counts as a villain song, and it’s entirely about how much Gaston fucks and does things related to fucking. Every woman wants him, every man wants to be him. And no one’s “neck” is incredibly thick like Gaston.

1. “Hellfire” (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

“This burning desire is turning me to sin!”

Frollo’s pained sex ballad is by far the thirstiest Disney villain song. It’s the only song that’s explicitly about how much the villain wants to fuck, but he can’t because church. Frollo’s the Archdeacon of Notre Dame and Esmeralda gives him a righteous rager, but because of his vows is wouldn’t be possible even if she was into him. Which she super isn’t. No other Disney film has a conflict that so clearly could have been solved by the villain just taking a few minutes to crank one out between scenes.