Destination suggestions

Posted: Sunday, June 10, 2007

Do you have to attend?

"People who are having a destination wedding absolutely expect certain people can't attend the wedding for financial or schedule reasons," says Carley Roney, co-founder of the wedding planning Web site TheKnot.com. But she advises against mentioning your finances when you decline. "It's such a guilt-tripping kind of thing," she says. "Come up with a very appropriate reason, even if it has to be a white lie."

Must you stay where the bride and groom suggest?

The couple will likely offer information on a range of accommodations, and they may have blocked rooms at several locations.

"In a situation where the bride and groom have not been so thoughtful," says etiquette expert Samantha von Sperling, founder and director of Polished Social Image Consultants in New York, "go online and book your own accommodations and then you can call them and say, 'I'm sorry but I couldn't afford the place you picked, so I've found something else just down the road. But I promise I'll be there and be on time.'"

Do you have to attend every planned event?

Destination weddings often involve a raft of events, including a cocktail party to welcome guests and a brunch the morning after the ceremony. If three solid days of bonding with relatives, co-workers or strangers doesn't appeal to you, Roney says it's fine to opt out of a few daytime events.