Please Don't Feed Your Fears

byTessonJune 25, 2012

The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream.The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg;and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs.Dreams are the seedlings of realities. ~ James Allen

A bold life requires that you consistently take action in order to build your confidence and courage. When you hold back out of doubt and fear, you live small, settle for less, and cheat yourself out of an adventurous life.

Life is too short to stay stuck and paralyzed. You have the power to get through anything. Everyday there are fearless, physically, mentally, and emotionally, challenged, people doing incredible things.

It's time to let go of your excuses. It's time to be wildly creative and amazingly brave. It's time to make an intentional choice to do what it takes.

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. ~ Dale Carnegie

6 Ways you feed your fears:

You terrorize yourself with stories of fear.

You expect the worst case scenario.

You visualize the worst case scenario.

You believe that you won't survive your fear.

You repeat a fearful story to others.

Replay old memories of past failures.

6 Ways to starve your fears:

Do what you say you're going to do. What is one step that you can do today that will make a difference in your attitude or income? Make a commitment to do it. Follow through. Breathe.

Expect a positive outcome. Make a list of what has gone right in your relationships, work, or business. Each time your mind goes to "what if it doesn't work" reread your list. Ask yourself, "What if it does work?"

Give up the need to for perfection. Begin where you are, with what you have. You can learn along the way. There is never a time when you "know it all." Ask for help. Get a mentor and make small consistent improvements.

Develop bounce-back muscles. Don't give up when things get tough. Learn to be resilient. Do what's in your control to change a situation and let the rest go. Refocus. Move on!

Let go of judgment. We don't know our own best interests. We don't know what anything is for. We can't see the bigger picture. When you do your best with good intentions you can release all judgment.

Be consistent and persistent. Do what you need to do when you need to do it. Go the extra mile. Ask again. Rise earlier and retreat later. You will gain momentum and things will get easier.

We starve our fear and grow our confidence and courage by creating positive thoughts and taking bold action. Now is the perfect time to begin! Please join me.

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I love the idea of taking one step today that can shift my attitude or income. The slogan “be consistent and persistent” also really resonated for me. I don’t think hibernation is the end of the world though! Sometimes, it’s exactly what I need.

TessJune 25, 2012, 3:51 pm

Hi Sandra,
No I don’t think hibernation is the end of the world at all! I’ve been absent in most of my online duties for the last 2-3 months. I’m back now but my family and personal life just had a heavy dose of my attention. I’m back now…

This is great advice! I recently did an exercise where I reflected on the past year (good and bad). It wasn’t until I did this exercise that I realized how much I had accomplished in areas where I didn’t know anything when I started. Like you say, I let go of perfection and simply started where I was. I made many mistakes along the way and learned from them and I continue to do this as I get better in these areas. And I’ve stuck with it.

Knowing that there will be a positive outcome is key to maintaining that momentum.

Great post Tess!!

TessJune 25, 2012, 3:52 pm

Hi Paige,
Thanks so much for your support. I can relate because I’m queen of mistakes! Believe me you don’t want to know;) Thanks for sharing.

Tess…So much of what you’ve written resonates with me. I came from a place of fear….my mother shrouded me in it. My father in his own way also. It has taken and continues to take a lot of work for me to catch myself receding into a fearful place.

I love what you said about expecting a positive outcome. What a difference it makes in how I walk through each day….As always, meaningful words from you. 🙂 Fran

I have just spent some time catching up on your blog. The last several weeks have been busy busy getting the last edits done on my book, and more important, saying goodbye to my sweet dog who died recently.

Anyway, my point is that I just read several posts at once and I’m so jazzed! One post of your at a time is certainly motivating, but several at once just get you right up off your butt and ready for bold action! What fun.

“It’s time to let go of your excuses. It’s time to be wildly creative and amazingly brave. It’s time to make an intentional choice to do what it takes.”

WOW that really spoke to me. I don’t think that I am holding on to excuses, but I am especially if I’m not allowing myself the freedom to really do what I want to be doing in my business! It’s fear that is holding me back!! Afraid I won’t know enough or be good enough! Such a battle! But I must move forward any way.

This is a perfectly timed post for me, dealing with some challenges and this was very helpful for me to reframe it. I especially like the expect a positive outcome “What if it does work?”. Perfect for reframing that negative self talk.

A long time ago I found an odd but extremely useful way to deal with fear. Rather than allow it to lurk around in the background I would sit down and spend sometime with it. I would allow my imagination to run wild and imagine the WORSE possible scenario. I would make it big enough it got ludicrous and than I would ask myself if that was something I wanted to experience. The answer was always a resounding NO WAY.

Then I would spend a few minutes thinking about what I did want to experience, what was the most magnificent creation I could imagine. Then I would spend time focusing on that. I found it a powerful way to get rid of my fear.

How insightful! I was just talking to one of my clients. Yup, that was definitely true for her. She had tried to ring me for help repeatedly over a 5-min interval. But I did not hear my handphone ringing. When she finally got me on the line half an hour later, she was stricken with anxiety. She said that she could barely function. As I found out through the conversation, it was really a case of fear overwhelm and the fear was not even real in the first place.

I think this is one I need to bring more into my awareness, Tess, as the opposite question tends to come to the fore more often.

Thanks for this prompt!

JoelJune 29, 2012, 3:54 pm

I certainly benefitted from this post as I do all of your writings. The point I wanted to make is that your postings along with other writers/therapists online and/or on FB are available constantly on a 24/7 basis and the repetition of the wisdom of the writings, affirmations and quotations provide a therapeutic comfort not available before the internet. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt unsettled, or a wave of anxiety or fear will come over me and I will turn to your page or the other “positive” pages and read the wonderful, compelling, and reassuring insights that bring me down to earth. You have my sincere thanks for all of your help.

Thank you Tess, a very helpful check-list. I particularly like starting with “what can I do NOW that will make me feel I have done something good, moved one step in the right direction – even if it is a teeny-tiny one?!” And giving up the need for perfection – never has one little personality quirk got in the way of so much genuine achievement and satisfaction! You have also made me re-think how I need to re-focus on the things I want to achieve rather than being unfocused and too easily distracted by others’ needs. Merci infiniment – I am printing this now for my ‘homework’!