Last weekend I was in Leeds for a house party type thing and on the Friday night there was a girl who I spent a fair amount of time talking to, this happened again the following night and it became clear to me that she was pretty amazing. I had no idea how she felt about me because she was one of these people that's so nice it's hard to tell whether she's actually flirting or not.

There was another girl there who did like me, a couple of slow seductive foot strokes (with her foot) indicated this, she suggested that we sleep on the settee together (we were supposed to be sleeping in the same room anyway). I sidestepped this offer and carried on with the rest of my evening. I was in two minds at this point but the other girl (the one I liked first) declared me as "thoughtful" and "not like most guys" which gave me extra hope.

This story is way to long and I'm getting a little bored (as I'm sure you are) ...basically I had a chance to get with quite an attractive young lady but declined just because I liked this other girl even though my chances with her remained unknown.

A side note: I went home not knowing despite one (usually quite perceptive) guy at the party saying "you two so obviously like each other", her friend didn't think she'd be interested in a relationship at the current time so I left it :(

Please reassure me that this wasn't really stupid (or not as the case may be).

got both the girls on facebook but I only started using it to see the funny pictures from that weekend, I've not said anything to sofa girl yet though. The amazing girl has made a couple of facebook comments.

both girls were hot, both seemed nice... the difference was that I'd spent more time talking to the "non foot stroking" girl and had developed quite a liking for her beyond a yeah she's hot type of thing.

but sometimes you dont have the want with some people... the sort of people you find more as friends when you got someone you like more of course you will seek them out. As a person and on levels of attractivness one clearly overshadowed the other and this happens all the time, dont spiral into some sort of sexual conflict over it.

I even put the "foot girl" off the scent by telling her how much I liked the other girl. We were in the same room and I didn't want to get tempred, her reaction was a kind of "ohhh I see" type of thing, it probably made her feel better about me rejecting her not that I'm saying she would've felt shit or anything... er yeah I do think too much.

she's the best friend of a girl who's in a relationship with my best friend (got it?). There's a good chance I'll be seeing her in the future and I'm sure we'll stay mates, I didn't want to ruin this. If her friend doesn't think she's looking for anyone at the moment then it's probably best to leave it. It was pretty cool of her not to say anything actually, I didn't ask her to keep anything from her friend, that wouldn't be fair.

was that she doesn't live near me, in fact I'm in the process of moving to Leeds and she wants to move to London so then we'll be even further away. This is what makes my decision even more bewildering, what chance did I have of eventually having a relationship with this girl? At least sofa girl (as she now seems to be known) lives up in Leeds, the place I was planning on moving to. I'm a pillock.

my freinds might have done, and it was from the sort of position of imagined universal generic 'manlyness' that makes you feel like this, you don't really hate yourself for being like this, instead you are rueing that you imagine that the adage 'nice guys come last' is true, it isnt necessarily so.
You probably suspect that you are a nice guy and (although it may seem not to be so sometimes) many women will also think this, they do appreciate someone being great in themselves even if they do not follow conventional concepts of how to act.

It doesnt always seem to work out for you to get the girl who appreciates you, cos women are the same as blokes and they too get uncertain and impatient with themselves and trying to get a bloke that would be good for them (i.e. they can cock things up too)

But its better to cherish your own qualities and sensibilities (with occasional modifications to behaviour as you learn lessons without petulance that is born of your frustration)

i.e. next time perhaps you will go for the girl that showed you she was more obviously interested, but let this be because that is what you want to do, not because it is the gainsay of what you truly feel like.

maybe behave differently but with the same sensibilities and emotions and feeling inside, keep them cherished, dont hurt them.

You could consider the other girl (the one that was keen on you simply because you could say to yourself that you dont know her yet, maybe she has hidden depths of stuff you would appreciate, or you could reason that a woman can sometimes make better decisions on what is good for the two of you than you can....or indeed she might just be not as good as the other one that you prefered, anyway nothing is closed, and isnt it also just nice that these women liked you? I mean you actually rated them both so.....

ok you didnt 'score' as conventional machismo puts it, but who is to say that scoring is always a good thing? It could be a bad experiance, and spoil otherwise sweet memories.