Putin it out there: Neutral Ground News sends message to Kremlin about ‘Best of New Orleans’ voting

Neutral Ground News is asking any and everyone to vote for it as “Best Local Publication” in Gambit’s Best of New Orleans 2018 poll contest, including not 😉 asking Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Leaving no stone unturned or glue tube unsniffed with one week left in Gambit’s Best of New Orleans 2018 contest, Neutral Ground News is reaching out to supporters near and far for their votes in its race to disrupt the establishment.

Neutral Ground News, the immensely beloved satirical publication that cleaned up at the 2017 Neutral Ground News Awards like Cedric Grant at a retirement party, is asking all fans, followers, friends, lovers, acquaintances, deceased persons, dementia patients, and Russians to vote for NGN as Best Local Publication 2018.

Support Neutral Ground News — vote NGN as Best Local Publication by Tuesday, July 31st, found in the media section of Gambit’s Best of New Orleans 2018 contest poll. CLICK HERE.

SENDING A MESSAGE TO THE KREMLIN

President Putin,

Greetings from New Orleans, Louisiana.

I have heard great, great things about you. The best. невероятный человек. No one does what you do better. Your talents and capabilities are unmatched anywhere in the world, which is why I write to you.

You see, there’s this annual poll conducted here by a publication, Gambit Weekly, called “Best of New Orleans,” which has people vote on their favorite local choices for various categories such as Best Food Truck, Best High School, and Best Radio Station. The top three are listed in order once the contest concludes.

I don’t give much credence to this list but it is good for conversation — a conversation my publication, Neutral Ground News (neutralgroundnews.com), has desperately been trying to be a part of in the Best Local Publication category since our inception. Interestingly enough, the winner of this particular category every year since 2001 has been Gambit Weekly, the organizer, and conductor of said contest. Is this the true will of the people? Perhaps. But winning 17 years in a row is awfully suspicious, is it not? Especially when Hillary Clinton allegedly is one of their longtime readers and supporters.

My publication of and for the people has the heart of a brave Eurasian brown bear with many loyal followers who often sing our praises; alas, it is not enough. We need help. This is why we are humbly not 😉 requesting that you and your comrades not 😉 come to our aid and not 😉 disrupt the Establishment’s pre-ordained conclusion of 2018’s results. Neutral Ground News must be elected Best Local Publication.

Thank you for your time, Mr. President. We eagerly await by the polls for you to not 😉 assist us in this gravely important matter.

С уважением,

Don Kiebels
Editor-in-Chief
Neutral Ground News

If we’ve ever made you chuckle, please take a moment to vote for Neutral Ground News as BEST LOCAL PUBLICATION in Gambit’s Best of New Orleans poll. Why vote for us and have all your friends, family, and frenemies vote for us as well? Because we tell you the news like you want to hear it. No facts. No checking sources. Just flat out making $hit up as we go. And we’re honest about it. Vote here – http://bestofneworleans.com/2018

Knowla

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About Neutral Ground News

Neutral Ground News is a satire and parody publication primarily about New Orleans news that should not be taken seriously or by anyone dead on the inside and is intended for an immature audience over 18 years of age.

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