Wednesday, October 26, 2011

As some people have noticed, I have been extremely delayed in my posting. Okay, let me rephrase. I have not posted in over a month. I do, however, have several posts that I wrote out and never got around to typing and posting, but I have been majorly neglectful of the blog. My life is a little nuts right now and things seem to keep coming up. Every time I turn around, we have somewhere we have to be or Scott has class, or there is some other random, lame excuse. These other things are important, but I could have made time. I should have made time.

I think I figured something out, though. I don't fail at things and I stick to my commitments. I am loyal. Usually. Sometimes I get distracted by life and I honestly, unintentionally forget something, like a blog. Days go by and the blog doesn't even enter my mind. By the time I think about it days later, I'm able to convince myself that tomorrow will be easier, better, more meaningful.

More time goes by and, before I know it, a month has passed and I hit the point of embarrassment. I think, "No one has noticed that I've not been writing. If I write the blog now, people will realize that I've been slacking this whole time. People will get the wrong impression of me and think that I'm lazy or uncommitted. It's better just to keep things quiet and hope to be unnoticeable."

I'm not saying that this is sound logic, but it's what goes through my head. It's not even always a conscious thought process, but as I sat down to actually write a blog (because a couple people started pestering me), I realized how difficult it was to put myself out there again. It's not easy in the first place to put my deepest, most honest thoughts on the internet for anyone to read, but it's a challenge I felt called to take on. That challenge becomes even harder when, because of my own shortcomings, I have failed in a public way. Putting myself back out there again involves letting other people in on not only my thoughts, but also my faults.

So, I take ownership of my faults, but I hope you are able to see past them. I promise to have the next post on the Psalms up soon.