A blog about family life, the ups and downs and all that's in between. Written through the eyes of a stay at home mama of three.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

More than enough

I felt a little frustrated today. We were running late for preschool. Again. Though this time, it was not my own doing. Two separate neighbours stopped us along our path, for a chat. And these particular neighbours love a chat. And so do I. I just wish I had an extra couple of hours in each day to actually stop and enjoy a chinwag. Instead of worrying about the freezing cold morning surrounding us and endeavouring to teach my boys the art of patience. I also wish I had the heart to tell people I'm running late or should of been where I needed to be half an hour ago. But I don't. I listen intently, smile politely and share my thoughts, because I know some people rely on these encounters in their day.

But what I really wish I had the heart to do, was tell people, to lay off on questioning whether I am going to have any more children. And more specifically, any girl children. One of the chats this morning went something like, "Oh the boys are looking more like their father every day... you need to have a little girl so you have one that looks like you, Julie... do you think you will try for a girl?" This neighbour is a lovely lady and she would mean no harm by asking such a question. But sometimes it would be nice if people stopped and considered for a minute, before speaking. Instead, maybe tell me that I have two gorgeous boys, who are enough. Because in reality, that is how I feel. I love babies and children and in a perfect world I would have had a family of four or five. For now, if I never have anymore children, I still feel blessed. If I do, it's a beautiful bonus. My experience earlier this year has impacted me in many ways and the most valuable lesson I've taken away from it is life is precious. So SO precious. It is to be enjoyed and savoured and appreciated.

So after returning home from preschool drop off and a whirlwind burn around the shops to pick up essential groceries, with a screeching Felix, who insisted on taking his shoes and socks off, throwing them down, then bucking and writhing in the stroller like a banshee... I. was. spent. An early nap for Felix, a thorough clean of the floors and a little time for me to clear the old head space, was all it took to bring me back from the edge. And then to look over my darling boy's preschool photos. My how I love them. They didn't do school photos like this when I was little. But I'm glad they do now.

11 comments:

Holy Crap I can't belive that is little Angus!! They make him look so grown up!!!I know how frustrating it can be when people ask if you're going to have any more and in my case 'you'll have to try for a boy, Hubby will want a boy'. It used to drive me insane, after getting so worked up I realised I just had to let it go, I'd end the conversation pretty quick and walk away, to save getting angry.You are very Blessed with two gorgeous boys who are divine, ignore the comments when you can and remember it is OK to say 'I'm running late, I can't stop', people understand.

Gosh Angus is looking so grown up these days, these are gorgeous photos Julie.

It does get frustrating when you get questioned in that way. When we only had the two boys I was constantly asked when we were going to try for a girl...the opposite is true now with most people being horrified that we to try for our sixth. You know in your heart what is right for you and your family, what anyone says or thinks is of no importance :)

Some people can be so thoughtless! Even now with Noah still so little I get the question "do you think you will go for a 4th to get the girl?" Um no, I am blessed to have my boys! Love Angus' kindy pics, so gorgeous. I am a little nervous to get Jasper's back as I forgot they were on and the outfit and hair was not the best as it was one of those mornings! xx

They are gorgeous photos Jules and a far cry from the mug shots we had at preschool way back when. Now if only the Primary School photos were a bit more like this!

I could write an essay on all the silly (well meaning?) comments people said to me while pregnant. Drove me nuts! It's all about them and their circumstances though so try not to let them get to you.

So sweet of you to give your neighbours your time and I wouldn't worry about being late for that reason, unless of course you really don't want to chat to them at that moment in which cases I always find the kids are a perfect excuse "I'm running late getting little johnny to school sorry would love to chat but gotta go...." Mel xx

Oh Julie. I hear you.I wish I could be a tad more assertive and let people know when it's not a great time for me to chat/help/swing by...Like you, I can't say it and end up racing around in a mad panic to catch up.

As for well meant but tactless questioning - gggrrr!I learnt years ago to be sensitive with certain issues as you never know what people may be going through or have been through. (I try, anyway!!)Some people still haven't caught onto this.I remember countless occasions when we were having fertility treatment where I had to excuse myself and cry quietly after a flippant remark like "what are you waiting for?" "too selfish for kids hey?"

What is this fascination with having children of each gender??I would have loved for Magoo to be getting a brother - but not many people shared that view!!

Now, those photos are just super sweet.What a handsome little man.xxxxx

Poor you with the neighbour. It just sucks that people can't mind their own business. We all do it though. On Saturday (after a few drinks) I actually heard myself ask someone who told me they were pregnant if it 'was planned'. What am I like?? Just because their second child has just started Kindergarten does not give me the right to suspect an unplanned pregnancy. People say dumb things. They don't always mean harm.

Two boys is enough. x

PS: You are a cherub. I loved this "because I know that some people rely on these encounters" x

I was nodding me head to everything, Julie! Sounds just like me from not beng able to tell people I'm in a hurry to the socks off banchi and the 'now you've just got to go for a third to get a girl'. (from the nurses at hospital when Lachie wasnt even a week old!) Ahhh....

Oh Gorgeous Girl. You have such a huge heart. And people can be so thoughtless. No one should ever presume what you've gone through to have your delightful family. I'm so pleased Angus's divine photos lightened your mood. What a handsome chappie he is! J x

You are such a beautiful soul Jules and yes, I know that frustration you feel when people ask that question - are you trying for a girl? I get it often when they see me with my 3 boys and I know they have no idea how their questioning can hurt at times, but sometimes Id just like to have a really witty comeback to stop them in their tracks. I always think of something to say about an hour after the encounter! xx

When I got pregnant with Matilda I had soooo many comments about how we must be wishing for a girl after two boys! All we wanted was a healthy happy baby after a healthy happy pregnancy! I tell people now that she is more trouble than the two boys put together!!!! It's true!!!