Friday, June 27

The Bachelor

Deliberate Gentle Sex Master (DGSM)

You're an honest, good-thinking guy, and though you're very sexually active, people don't perceive you as a male-slut or man-whore or guy-dick-putter-inner or whatever. You have a sterling reputation.

You're a careful person, perhaps too much so for your friends' tastes, but guys like that in you. You probably don't kiss & tell. And you definitely don't brag. You know you don't have to prove anything to anyone. It's as if you believe in monogamy, so long as it's with lots of different people.

Our guess is that you've got some kind of word-of-mouth going with the boys out there, and that in the future, your sex partners will get even more plentiful, and more attractive, too.

You will settle down eventually, and make an excellent husband. You seem like the type who is into the idea of making copies of yourself, so you'll probably adopt kids. Bear in mind, meanwhile, this can get expensive.

ALTERNATE ENDING: You will die broke and alone. Vermin will feast on your ragged body for five days before the groundskeeper notices. The thing is, when somebody dies in a public restroom, the natural odor of his decomposing flesh is often masked by the feces smell.

Thursday, June 26

funny thing. i just was looking at personal ads (that's not the funny part) and saw someone's age as 31. i thought, well that is kind of old but whatever. then i realized that the dude is only one year older than me...oh boy.

The False Messiah

Deliberate Brutal Love Master (DBLM)

People believe in you, and then you send them to hell. Behold, the False Messiah.

You're usually a very kind person, and conscientious, too. Socially, you're a leader, and your friends and associates look up to you. In intimate relationships, you're a capable, responsive, and experienced lover. Outside the box, however, you run into trouble.

Guys fall hard for you, but you're much more ambivalent about them. The beginnings of your relationships are unusually intense, making it all the rougher on her when they end. At first, using all your accumulated tricks of the trade, you ladle on the affection. But once he's all covered in soup, you withhold the true napkins of commitment. What's that all about? We should've called you the False Waiter.

You're looking for Love. But history tells us you struggle to settle down and accept it. There's a deep streak of carnality within you. And while you'll never be a predator, you'll always fight the urge to roam free. You like to plan things out, so plan this: find someone who can indulge your selfish side, has a healthy sexual appetite, and doesn't mind uncertainty.

Friday, June 6

Thursday, June 5

do you ever tire of "introspection?" what i mean is searching yourself, finding your motivation for actions, social interactions, personal quirks, etc. i think i have finally tired of it.

after a fairly short, but fruitful, experience with therapy a few years ago i decided to spend a lot of time thinking about myself. not in the fun filled egotistical way of getting everything i wanted, but in ways that were supposedly more constructive and would yield for a better understanding of why i am the way i am. totally intellectual elitism at its absolute peak, if you ask me. but, hell, i am from new england, isn't this why the rest of the country hates us?

what did i learn? well, first and foremost i learned to prioritize myself because i was getting tired of not feeling like i had enough time for myself. that was all well and good however it made me a bit of a hermit which is apparently social suicide. then i decided that i needed to broaden my understanding of other people by interacting with them first hand. how did that turn out?

well, about half of my friends think that i do not like them. based on recent presidential polls i am still better than g.w. bush, but in a small community with big city aspirations 50% is not really a good rating. so, why then do my friends think i do not like them.

well it all boils down to one very specific personality trait. i do not like to share my feelings with people with whom i do not have a 100% solid relationship. it is not necessarily because i do not trust them or because i am clammed up, it is because i just do not feel the need to constantly express my woes or problems to people that i see on an irregular basis and who do not know me well enough to really offer meaningful (albeit well intentioned)advice.

i know that sounds completely jackass but what good has ever come from telling others about your problems without first establishing a friendship? in modern america we meet lots of people through a variety of means including the internet. internet communication allows a person to be removed from their emotions enough that they are often willing to divulge more information about themselves than they typically would in person. (my blog is a prime example of this behavior.) but this kind of "free information" has transformed into an expectation of typical daily interaction between acquiantances.

in my opinion we have all grown up with a variety of experiences that have shaped our worlds and our perspective on the world around us including others. my experiences have made me more private and less socially gregarious. i like to think of myself as a balance to the rest of the worlds constant airing of issues, resentments, problems, divorces, heartaches, deaths, loves, affairs, flings, addictions and ailments. sure i talk about these things especially when they are monumental, but i do not want to pour myself over every item on a laundry list to elicite some kind of superficial friendship based on sharing.

so somehow this quirk or trait created the impression that i do not like other people because i simply wasn't overly open with them. what to do? nothing really can be done except for me to continue to be myself. that is what i've learned through a few years of inspecting the reflection in the looking glass which at this point has become as tiresome as political commercials.