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(in her 40s)

About

Born in sunny Oxfordshire & now living in even sunnier Yorkshire, I spent my childhood days pilfering polo mints from my Gran’s handbag and doing everything in my power to annoy my brother.

From 14 years old I developed an obsession with music that led me to become a leading Blur loyalist. The highlight of this was being sick on Damon Albarn’s adidas trainer once. Soz about that Damon.

Other life achievements have included being “removed” from Damian Hurst’s Pharmacy restaurant in Notting Hill, accidentally flashing my knickers in front of everyone at an important board meeting in London, being mistaken for a prostitute in Sydney and standing at my fridge with the door open eating up a whole large block of cheddar whilst 8 months pregnant.

Ha ha, love this ‘about’ page. If you makes you feel any better, I was mistaken for a prostitute once when I went to a casino with my boyfriend. To this day, I’m still not sure what it was about me that made the staff think I was a lady of the night!!

Haha. Ok it was summer of 1998, me & my mate had been on an all day Sunday drinking session around Notting Hill, so we decided to visit DH’s restaurant, stand in the middle of the restaurant & sing the England “Vindaloo” song at the top of our voice with actions for everyone to enjoy (sorry if you know this, but for info DH was one of the Vindaloo song writers). We were promptly escorted out. Please note I was a mere 22yrs old 🍻

Certainly your readers would want to know of further life achievements. Hopefully eating a block of cheese in the refreshing cool of the open fridge is not your plateau. If it is, try cheese-cake.
A refreshing about page that was.