I’m just going to say it. If you are still getting French manicures, you are stuck in the ’90s-early 2000s (or the trailer park). If you are getting French manicures with ACRYLIC NAILS, please MySpace me so we can have an intervention.

I know brides still keep this old-school trend alive and I’m sure some gal who recently said her nuptials with the pale pink and pearl combo is fuming right now and itching to leave a nasty comment (bring it, sister), but this look is dated and we all know it.

Since I was heading to Paris last week, I needed a French manicure of my own, so I let nail artist extraordinaire, Hasani at Buff, have free reign over my phalanges. We decided on a classy, navy hue for the season with a little shimmer (Shellac’s Midnight Swim), and then she was like, “I’m thinking we do negative space with a gold stripe.”

And I was like, “Pardon?” (In my pathetic French accent, of course.)

It means to leave some of the natural nail showing, and she did a separation stripe with gold nail tape and put a gel topcoat over it.Basically, she’s the Vincent Van Gogh of nails.

I was obsessed with this mani and grabbed the closest bottle of French champagne I could find in the salon to celebrate. (Yes, owner–and W+P–contributor Myka has a bottle of Veuve in her office. Definitely someone you want to be friends with.)If it looks like I’m clutching that bottle for dear life, that’s because, well duh.

The nails held up on my trip and I would love to say that a bunch of posh French women stopped me on the streets and asked me about my mani, but posh French women don’t do stuff like that. Or maybe they did and I was just drunk from the wine (at lunch).