Goals

In an age of constant communication and increased demands of round-the-clock work, almost everyone is struggling to have a blissful family life, purposeful profile at work, community engagement and an inner peace and satisfaction. Some of us, might have up given up this ‘have-it-all’ idea and some have this in mind but do not have time to work on it and get a plan in place to deal with it. A handful of us, who do get time and are able to do something, use the ever-known formula of ‘Work-life balance’.

However, for me, the term is misleading. It makes us to assume that we must always compromise on one side to keep up to another side. Like, we must cut down on our work in order to spend more time with family. This was true in former years, but with changing times and rapidly increasing businesses, it calls for an integration rather than a balance. The work integration, seems to give a more realistic and practical way of dealing with the major four areas of life, which I have described in book ‘The Success Habits’ (Family, Health, Net Worth & Personal). According to a 2008 HBR article, “Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life”, it takes three key principles – be real, be whole and be innovative, to bring this integration to your life. The greater the harmony and integration between the four main focus areas of your life, the better will be the results and lesser the trade offs among your work and life. Another book that might help you and worth reading is “Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life”.

Here are some simple and easy tips to get you started.

Know what matters most

Write your goals down and prioritize them. Each goal should be clear and specific. Write 3-5 goals for each of the four areas of your life and then ask yourself, “If you have to pick only one of the written goals, what would it be?”. Do this for each of the four areas. This is your A list. The ones which you didn’t pick are your B list. Then out of the four goals that you picked, again ask yourself, “if you had to pick only one goal and start working on it, what would it be?”. This is your top goal. So now you have, a top goal, A list and B list. The rule is that you do not start on any goal on your B list until you check off all A list goals. And the top goal gets the highest priority everyday. Break these goals down into activities and prioritize and schedule them. My Life Goal Planner will surely help you out with this process. Or you may refer to ‘One Bite at a Time’ for a detailed approach.

Bring Work and Life on the same page

Sometimes, I see people maintaining different notebooks to keep track of work related tasks and personal tasks. This practice will never give you a complete picture of your day or week. Some personal activities could be prioritized more than your work activities. Maintain a single notebook or tool to track them all, but you can always differentiate with an abbreviation or color code.

Review and Plan Ahead

The very last thing in the night or the very first thing in the morning (before checking mails) has to be a review of the previous day. Clear out tasks and then plan for the upcoming day. List down all activities to be done (for all four areas of life) and then prioritize them. Focus only on the top three (Rule of Three) and you will be satisfied and 80% through your day.

There is much more to it, but these three basic steps will get you started. Integrating all areas of life (includes work) will have many professional and personal benefits for you. However, it takes time and practice to learn this and hence 3 D’s are required, Desire, Determination and Discipline.

“Balance is bunk. It’s a misguided notion that assumes we must always make trade-offs among the different aspects of our lives” – Stewart D. Friedman

Wishing you all the best on your path to a life well lived.

Please share your comments and opinion. I’d love to hear them!

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Few days ago, a man contacted me through my website by scheduling a call with me using my calendar, which, honestly was the first such call, from the time I put this feature on my website.

The man was in his early thirties, sounded worried as he introduced himself to me. As the introduction matured, I came to know that he was working for a reputed company in the tech department. Like most face-to-face conversations, I have had with people regarding their personal productivity, time management or goal setting, people aren’t comfortable talking about it and are hesitant to discuss it, and so was he. We Indians, don’t find it a topic to discuss freely with others and some even deny to acknowledge the importance these topics have on their personal & professional life.

Worriedly & briefly, he asked in a lowered voice, “I’m not feeling good about my job. Can you help me?”. I was taken by surprise initially, as I’m not supposed to be a counselor. I stayed quiet, and then gathered my thoughts to ask him, “Yes, I can. But, can you explain a little about why you feel so?”, in a reassuring tone.

“I don’t know. I read few articles that you wrote and I happened to visit your website. I thought you could help me.”, he replied, without giving me the reason. “I go to work everyday, work for about 9-10 hours, come home to my family, but there’s no passion and it feels like a routine. Sometimes, I work on weekends too, but my life is always chasing deadlines and projects. I think of doing some things I dream to do someday, but I’m so engaged in office & home chores that I never get time. I have read your article on ‘someday-isle’, but all that is good to hear. The fact is that nobody has got time to think about goals, time management and all these concepts, the reality is my job and I’m stuck with it. I have to do it to earn a living.” Finally, I cut in and asked him, “So, what are you doing about it?” By this time, I had understood his state of mind and charted out a skeleton in my mind to respond to him. He was quiet for a second or two, and replied, “I’m hoping for something to change and make me feel better. Maybe, I should take a vacation.”

I then responded, “Ok. But isn’t vacation a short term fix? What I can see is that there are two options that you have. One, change your job. This again is a short term fix, because give another 1 year, you will have the same feeling as you have now. Second, change a thing or two about you so that you address the root cause. And the root cause is within you, it’s not your job. Think for a moment, what are you doing for yourself? For any one thing that you wanted to do and would make you happy, ask yourself now and every night, have you taken any step to achieve it or do something about it? If you have not, then I assure you, you will feel dissatisfied, year on year. I can tell you that everything is interconnected. I’ll give you a starting point. As you said, it is easy to say that we should have goals, but I will help you everyday to set goals. The thing that you said about reading these concepts and actually putting them to work is ‘the problem’ that I am working on. As a fact, we have not been taught, ever, how to set goals. As a result, we even hesitate to talk about it. But this has power, to make you successful, and success here is your inner happiness. Anyway, you are not feeling good. Given another month, you will feel the same way. Bring something new to your life. Give it a try! It is possible that things don’t improve, but what if they improve. What if you feel happy every night and every morning, raring to go to work or return from office with a clear action item to follow your passion or dream. People don’t do this exercise thinking nothing will change, but people who do, experience the change. There’s no risk, you will not lose anything except that one month. So, are you ready?

He replied, “Go on.” and I continued, “We’ll start with a brain-dumping exercise, building a system around you so that the everyday trivial tasks are taken care of, taking care of your goals and dreams, convert them to action plans, managing how you handle any incoming information, be it physical or digital. And let’s try to do something about it, everyday.”

I continued, “Anyway, things are going as they are. And to change the output, you have to change the input. The very fact that you have called me or have read these articles shows that you want to change the input, shows your desire, which is a prerequisite to change the input. But, for the next 30 days, I need you to spend 30 minutes everyday for yourself.

“It is not what you say, or wish, or hope, or intend…It is only what you do that counts”

Curiously, he asked, “And what do you want in return?” to which, I replied, “I want to make an impact on you, this is what makes me feel successful. I just want you to read my book which will help you understand, what we are going to do everyday, with all screenshots and tools in front of you. And spread the word to those who you think, need this exercise!”.

The most simple way to achieve any big goal or target is to start with a step towards it, a step at a time. The very first prerequisite for this to happen is that you must have goals. To understand this, let’s bring out some astonishing facts.

Fact 1: According to a Harvard study, only 3% people have clear and written goals, 13 % have goals but not in writing. And most of the remaining people work for the goals of the 3% people. It was found that 3% of people who had written goals, earned, on average, 10 times as much as the remaining 97% all together. All successful millionaires and billionaires have written goals.

Fact 2: Most people talk about problems, who is to blame and what they don’t want, most of the time.

Fact 3: All goals are attainable. There is a natural cybernetic mechanism inside our mind which helps us achieve goals. Nature doesn’t discriminate goals based on their size. If you set large goals, you’ll achieve them.

So, then why is it that most people do not have clear, measurable & written goals?

Reason 1: Writing down goals is not important, even if you have one. Look around to ask people who have written goals!

Reason 2: Not aware on how to write my goals. Have you ever received even an hour of instruction to write goals?

Reason 3: Fear of failure. Have you ever thought of a big goal and then thought it is unachievable?

Reason 4: Social pressure and rejection. Have you ever thought that will my friends or family criticize or ridicule for my failure?

“You become what you think about — most of the time.” – Brian Tracy

Things won’t get better by themselves. If we want a change, we need to have clear written goals. Clarity serves a critical purpose in goal-setting and has a direct relation to goal attainability. Not having clear goals is similar to a living in city with no road signs.

Things won’t get better by themselves. If we want a change, we need to have clear written goals. Clarity serves a critical purpose in goal-setting and has a direct relation to goal attainability. Not having clear goals is similar to a living in city with no road signs.

Now, how do you write your goals and set to achieve them?

You may use this to help you set implementable goals and follow these steps!

Time is going to pass anyway. Whether you set your goals or not, whether you achieve them or not, whether you perform this exercise or not! Therefore, I recommend you to go through this exercise for a simple goal to test the waters.

Step 1:Define your goal clearly and write it down

Imagine you have no limitations and you have all the money and time in the world, all the education and experience. What would you do?

Make your goal measurable and specific. Write you goal in a simple present, as if you already do it.

For instance, we may take a simple goal to double your earnings “I earn Rs. 50,000 a month”. It is in present, specific and measurable.

Step 2: Assign a deadline to it

Just add a “by” sentence to your goal statement such as “I earn Rs. 50,000 a month by April 2018”. If you goal is big and long term, set sub-deadlines. In the above example, you may set quarterly deadlines.

Step 3: List down obstacles and risks

Write down all the things that will make it difficult for you to achieve your goal. These things may be lack of time, money, etc. It is said that 80% of the constraints lie within you and only 20% are outside of you.

Step 4: List the knowledge and skills

Write down all the knowledge and skills required to achieve your goal. These may be certifications, degrees, etc required for you in order to achieve your goal.

Step 5: List down the people

Write down all the people with name or roles who you think will play a key part for your goal attainment. This will help you maintain a useful network and a clarity of what you need from them.

Step 6: Break it down to tasks

Try to answer the question by putting a ‘how‘ on your goal. For example, ask yourself, “How will I earn Rs. 50,000 a month by April 2018”. Attempt to write at least 20 answers to this question. The more answers you write, the more you stretch your mind and the more probability of you achieving it. Write every single task required to achieve this goal.

Step 7: Give the tasks a date

Now, against all the tasks listed down in step 6, write a date in front of it, keeping in mind the sequence of events and your final goal attainment date. If you are unable to allocate a date, at least write a month.

Step 8: Plan ahead

Plan the night before, what you need to do tomorrow to achieve this goal. Plan for a week and month ahead of time. For example, review tasks to be completed for next week every Friday or Monday. On last day of the month, write down the tasks to be done in the coming month.

Step 9: Just do it!

The most important thing is the action you take to achieve your tasks in order to achieve the bigger goal. Do not stress out planning too hard, keep it simple and you will be astonished to see the results.

“A journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step” – Conficius

Remember that the act of breaking down your goal into tasks with deadlines and writing it out, almost makes it certain for you to achieve the goal. Do not discuss about your goal with anyone initially to overcome the reasons listed above.

You can definitely eat the whole cake, but one bite at a time.

“Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal, or goal” – Earl Nightingale