Healing from Heartbreak

By Michael Roizen, MD, and Mehmet Oz, MD

When Gary (Vince Vaughn) and Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) watched their live-in relationship decay in The Breakup, they got it half right: Each one spent time reflecting on what happened, kvetched to their friends, and thought about where they were headed -- as a single person. The half wrong? They both insisted on remaining in the apartment they owned together -- not wanting the other to get it. A University of Arizona study points out that in real life such behavior interferes with the "self-concept reorganization" you have to go through to separate yourself from your ex and the relationship.

Breakups are difficult and take a toll physically and emotionally. For most folks they trigger an almost to-the-max stress response. Brain centers that respond to physical pain are activated when you feel heartbreak. And “broken heart syndrome” is a condition than can cause physical chest pain and shortness of breath that seems like a heart attack. It isn’t!

That’s why if you’re dealing with a break-up, acknowledge what’s lousy and hurts. But take the opportunity to manage the stress and start fresh! Make an effort to spend more time with friends and family. Do one adventurous act a week -- volunteer at a soup kitchen (think more of others than yourself); take a class. (Pottery? History? Italian?) Go for a new look -- get a new hairstyle, grow a beard (guys). Expect to feel sad sometimes, but don’t let it define you. Remember YOU are the captain of your life-ship. Right the bow and full speed ahead!

Relationships and family are at the center of human life, and they can have a huge influence on your health. Having good friendships and family support eases stress, helps you avoid mental illness, and gives you energy and courage ...

for living a healthier life. Relationships start when you give someone else your time and attention. If you find yourself isolated, the best thing to do is reach out through community activities or family connections. Finding ways to help others will make you feel better, and then pay off later when you need support. Good health means caring for yourself, which is infinitely easier to do when other people are also caring for you. If your relationships are in trouble, take steps to resolve the conflict through communication or seeking counseling. The payoff is greater well-being for all involved.