Whatevs, #DryJanuary. Here are the month-long initiatives we wish existed...

Yay for #OctNoBra!

#Movember, #DryJanuary, #Veganuary... There's no doubt the trend for hi-jacking months of the year with some tenuous hashtagging can benefit some fantastic causes. But is growing a moustache, sacking off booze and quitting cheese really the best we can do..?

If we ruled the world and decided what people should do for FOUR WHOLE WEEKS thanks to a bit of month-inspired wordplay, we'd make it way more fun.

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Clear your calendars, people.

January = #JanuLairy

This month is all about letting out your inner rage, which you'll probably have plenty of after enduring another family Christmas. Whether it's an annoying colleague or your nan being a nosey git, this is the month to tell everyone what you really think - by therapeutically shouting at them. Getting lairy will crap all over your new year's resolution to be more positive, but that was never going to last, was it?

February = #FeBrewery

This annual event is all about spending as much time as you possibly can down the pub. Not necessarily boozing, of course, but enjoying all of the pubby delights on offer such as board games, pub quizzes and those weird scampi flavoured crisps everyone bloody loves but won't admit.

March = #MarchMarch

Your job for the whole of March is to march everywhere with a real sense of purpose. Just going to Tesco for a pint of milk? No matter. Strut up to that self service till with the limitless authority of an army major. By adding a bit more power to your step, you'll unleash all of that inner confidence you've been stifling with that nothingy shuffle you've been doing every other month.

April = #Aprill

This is a month-long sickie pulled by everyone in the country (geddit? Apr-ILL?). You can spend the whole month off work in your PJ's eating Nutella with a spoon and watching Friends re-runs all day. Bliss, no? It's a bit like your school summer holidays. Except everyone is pretending to exhibit flu symptoms.

May = #KayMay

This month is all about acceptance and freeing yourself of the burden of regret by just saying okay (in an abbreviated fashion). When life deals you a really cruddy card, just say "'kay". Your car broke down? 'Kay. Your paper shopping bag disintegrated in the rain? 'Kay. Accept life's challenges and move on with your head held high. 'Kay?

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June = #PizzaJune

Some hashtags are so awesome they don't even need the tenuous wordplay. #PizzaJune is everyone's much-needed excuse to consume unlimited pizza.

July = #JuLying

This is a national celebration of lies. The truth gets us into some terrible predicaments, doesn't it? "Did you want them to cut it that short?" "I don't think he fancies you" "That new thing you tried didn't really work for me, TBH" - truth bombs often go down like a lead balloon. July is the month to give yourself the easy life and just BS away. Your stress levels will thank you.

August = #AugLust

This one's basically all about shagging. Singletons, let your crushes be known and unleash your lust with full force. Fear not, long term relationshippers - TV networks will deliberately screen non-stop darts, making boredom levels perfect for resorting to a shag. Woop!

September = #Slobtember

This is the month everyone will be unleashing their inner slob. Gyms will close, quinoa will be made temporarily illegal and wearing nothing but baggy jersey will be strongly encouraged. No more faffing with hair products, no more agonising over what to wear... IDGAF is your new style mantra. Embrace it.

October = #OctNoBra

Y'know that immense joy of taking your hellish bra off at the end of the day and letting your boobs run wild and free? Imagine a whole month of that stabby-wire-free goodness. This initiative includes optional #saggyselfies of your (clothed) untamed chest area to help it go even more viral.

November = #WHOAvember

This is the month to overreact to everything, just for fun. That utterly average cup of tea your colleague made you? The best you've EVER had. The spitting rain outside? A life-ruining NIGHTMARE. A bit of drama makes the days go by much quicker.

December = #Defriendber

The TMI statuses, the duck-faced selfies, the relentless hashtagging - you've put up with their intolerable bullshit all year, and now's the month when you can finally sever social media ties with your online 'friends' guilt-free. It's okay. You've earned this.

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