Joel McHale’s speech was many things: funny…Um, OK, it was one thing: it was funny; McHale made fun of everyone — politicians on the left and the right, actors, CNN, CNN again, and CNN some more. But there was one thing it was not: “too goddamn mean.” That’s according to Ben Stein, who CNN brought in to critique McHale’s performance. No one won any money, or that stupid argument.

“The story is that Monica Lewinsky masturbated with a cigar while President Clinton watched and masturbated as well. Yassir Arafat was supposedly kept waiting in the Rose Garden while this was going on in a room next to the Oval Office.”

Different strokes for different folks but I thought this was so much funnier than Colbert’s- you know its good when McHale can make you laugh about jokes on both sides of the aisle and he didn’t pull any punches on any targets.

Very good, however, kinda hard to watch – best to just listen. He read off the cards the whole time, keeping his head down. I understand the need for the cards, but Colbert and others only glanced at theirs to remind them what the next joke was. Still, I laughed my ass off. Given his interviews recently, I do genuinely believe that this was his most surreal (professional) experience ever, so good for him.

I’d have closed like this: “Now there’s one thing that makes the POTUS laugh the most though. Killing babies with flying, killer robots. Not only does it make him laugh it gives him a massive, throbbing hard-on as well. It’s a boner so big that you can see it from outer space! In fact his baby killing erection is so fucking INTENSE that he doesn’t have to masturbate to cum. HEY! THEY DON’T CALL IT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR NOTHING! Mehehehehe. Ohhhh, dead babies are funny. Am I right or what? Mr. President it was a pleasure to entertain and I bow down to your sick, dark sense of humor. You da man, Barry O. God bless you and God bless America. The land of the free and the home of the brave.”

Oh, I see. Thank you, Supreme Head of all things comedy. Thank you for the clarification and thank you for declaring my attempt at “humor” as 100% pure feces. You’re absolutely right. I guess my “humor” is really a lot sadder than the things these evil, freaky, soulless ghouls do. Have a fantastic day.

No, it was my fault. I failed to realize he was a pedantic fucking moron. I should have explicitly said dullards who post on the internet, in many cases, are very sensitive. Also I’m pretty sure the internet is a series of tubes.

@Pencil-Necked Geek
I had no idea I was acting like a massive “douche”. I will change my ways immediately. Thank you for showing me the light. Please send me a message that contains your home address. I’d like to send you a very nice gift basket. Hope to hear back SOON. xoxo

@knox
I’m sorry that I upset you. I really didn’t mean to do that. I was just being curious. Dumb dumb me. I’m sorry about the fact that I made you throw a hissy fit and insult me. Thank you for making me realise that I’m a pedanitc, dull moron. #dullnomore #carpe diem #yolo #feelingblessed #greatfriends #lookingforwardtothefuture #america

Fuck. This is thread is almost painful to read. Stupendous, please do yourself a favor and step away from the keyboard. You may be annonynous, but you dot want to have to go through the trouble of making another douchey username because your ashamed of your behavior.

Jeez, Joel. It’s called rehearsing. I can learn a Shakespearian soliloquy in a day. You can’t get your jokes down well enough to actually look up from the script? Just once? How many weeks did you work on this?

And all of the “Did that play?” “What? No?” “I knew it was a bad joke but I said it anyway” stuff was just open mic bad.

There was some really good material in there, but his delivery wasn’t so great. He was clearly pretty nervous up there, and the way he kept saying “um” after every unscripted remark got pretty annoying after a while. Didn’t hold a candle to Colbert’s performance, although I’m not sure anyone could.

I really like McHale but thought he completely whiffed and am disappointed at having to say that. He was everything I never thought he *could* be – excessively nervous and seemingly unsure of himself. I don’t know how much of that is attributable to the venue. For those who have never attended one of these, the Hilton ballroom is fucking enormous and I wonder if, even for a seasoned performer, McHale wasn’t a bit taken back. It’s one of the reasons why Colbert’s routine was so poorly received by those in the audience in 2006 – it was a routine suited for a television screen (which is why it became such a viral sensation), but played very, very poorly in the ballroom.