Monday, 5 June 2017

Examples of Crap I Waste My Money On: Bootsale Report 14!*

It’s that time again!

Didn’t do a bootsale last
week because I went to a convention, the reason you didn’t get one of these for
that convention is because a lot of what I bought is for my birthday so I in fact
don’t yet have it to photograph and waffle on about while you all pretend to
look interested (thanks for that by the way). As a nice change of pace, this
weekend’s bootsale was lovely, Saturday had been beautiful weather so Dunton
was big and busy but Sunday itself was, while warm and sunny, warm and sunny
with a cool breeze and the occasional cloud to provide respite. A shocking
thunderstorm Friday kept the dust down, coming at the end of the half term
school holidays kept the number of regular families selling up (rather than
market stall like sellers who do this for a living/second income), I’d had a
good amount of sleep and felt fine, so happily wandered through isle after isle
of stalls buying a surprisingly large amount of small toys:

click to enlarge, it's quite fun to stare at

So it’s a very vertically challenged ‘haul’
this time but a very full and pleasant one, the ratio of genuine collectibles to
utter rubbish that only I would be this enthusiastic about isn’t any different
of course but what do you expect? I worry these articles may be getting redundant
but goddammit they help justify my expenditure on other people’s old junk and I
need that, I think I’m gonna go question my life for a minute.

…

…

Right, yes, how about some
enthusing about toys ‘n stuff? As always these are just the items that I can
squeeze a paragraph out of and I’m not necessarily saying they’re the best
things in that photo, except when i explicitly say they’re some of the best things
in the photo. So are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll being:

The MAD Weirdo Watcher’s Guide!

50p (64¢)

We’ll start with some
buyer’s remorse - not a lot of buyer’s remorse, it only cost me 50p after all –
but I’m gonna keep this. The little voice in my head that gets
me to do stupid things and convinces me that everyone hates me piped up while I
was flicking through this, which is basically one-panel-per-page ‘social
satire’ about various archetypes and stereotypes, some of which don’t apply to
the UK and never did; “It’s a Mad Magazine book for 50p” said the voice in a
confused and irritated manner “it’s 50p! It’s a Mad book, the cover has Alfred
E. Neuman as Dracula AND Gene Simmons on it, you can’t possibly put it back”. I
listened to it and now I have this and I don’t really want it, I’ll probably
flick through it once or twice then it’ll get itself donated to the nearest
charity shop, it’s not that funny and it’s not that well drawn inside. The
cover is fucking awesome though, I plan to scan it before I get rid of it. What
have we learnt from this? The barometer of ‘will I regret not buying this when
I get home’ is a good one when out shopping, especially at conventions,
bootsales, flea markets and the like, but it’s not fool proof and the person
who writes this blog has iffy impulse control.

A Wild Snork
Appears!

£1 ($1.29) for
all 3

I’m sure I’ve gone into
this before but it’s one of the things I enjoy the most about bootsales so I’m
going into it here regardless. It’s a scenario that comes up often but I’m too
tired and full of pizza of work out how to summarise it so I’ll just use these
Snorks as an example: I would never eBay search for Snorks merchandise, but I’m
walking around somewhere like a bootsale or convention or similar and in the
box of random toys is a Snork, then another, then another and I’m reminded of
their existence and realise ‘yeah I
would really like to have some Snorks, in fact my toy horde and house is worse
off for not having any’ and buy me the Snorks - because I like Snorks, who
doesn’t? They’re funky underwater Smurfs made of Cheetos, they’re fundamentally likeable. It’s not so much the randomness of what you can find (though that is
part of the fun) but the fact than you can find stuff that you’d never normally
know you’d want but upon (re)discovering it realise that it’s something you’re
genuinely enthusiastic about, an enthusiasm that lasts beyond the heat of the
moment ‘I want to buy this because I’m in the mood to buy shit’ feeling. Yeah
that sounds comprehensible (and oddly deep for a paragraph about Snorks).

Dapper
Dinosaurs!

50p (64¢)) for
the pair

I needed to get four items
to get the Orange Bird, these were two of them. In case my photo is not
conclusive, they are T-Rexes dressed up as either a gangster or a private
detective (or maybe a reporter) and either a superhero or Punch Rockfist and
I’m sure
I recognise them but just can’t figure out where from. Sadly this page doesn’t
get enough views or comments for me to do the whole ‘if you know what these are
throw me a comment’ thing I just wanted to show people a picture of my new
dinosaur dressed like Woody Allen.

Looney Tunes
Christmas Ornaments!

£5 ($6.44) the
lot

Well this is a terrible
photo, Tweety looks like he has mumps, Lola looks terrifying and like she has
social boundary issues and Daffy Duck looks like Geena Davies in that one scene
in Beetlejuice, you know the one where they pull their faces around to make
them look scary? I assure you that the actual models are much better looking in
person and that I’m just a shit photographer. Anyway time to make myself look
old; do you remember the Warner Bros Studio Stores? If you don’t they were just Warner’s versions
of the Disney Store but that little bit cooler, eschewing the cosy the fairy
tale feel for a sleeker, sports shop style – more Planet Hollywood than
Gepetto’s workshop, also the one in our local shopping mall (Lakeside) was huge
and had a model of Bugs Bunny flying a plane upside above your head before you went in. Further helping it
was that when I used to frequent Lakeside’s Warner Bros. Store the bunny had DC
Comics while the mouse hadn’t yet sunk his claws into Marvel, so the shop would
have a whole section of cells and prints from Batman: The Animated Series,
replica Green Lantern batteries and collector’s plates painted by Alex Ross,
the Disney Store’s snow globes were fancy (and still are, so much appreciation
for their snow globes of old have I) but even they couldn’t quite compare to a
Bruce Timm picture of Batman fighting Two-Face. I’m pretty sure these are from
the Warner Bros Store, I say this because they look like the stuff they used to
sell and Marvin the Martian (he’s in the haul photo just below Tweety Pie) is
definitely from there and I bought them for the same stall, it’s possible they
could have come from something like Clinton Cards but even if that’s the case,
I got to gush over the old Warner Bros stores so I don’t mind being wrong.
These are coming out every Christmas for the rest of my life and I need to
hurry up and have children to I can use them as tools to instil the awesomeness
of the Looney Tunes into them.

Side note: this is the
first ‘Christmas bell’ ornament I’ve ever owned, my paternal grandmother owns a
load of them but I was never allowed to touch them as a child because I was a
clumsy and heavy handed little shit and would absolutely have rung them so hard
they cracked. But I loved the way they sounded and felt to ring (I’d ring them
every so often when no one was around), a delicate feeling and sound that felt
like old Christmases from It’s a Wonderful Life and before. Owning this has
helped me feel a little more like an adult, yes even though it has Bugs Bunny
on it.

Bidoof!

25p (32¢)

I like all the Pokémon it’s
cool to hate – my favourite Pokémon include Trubbish, Vanilluxe, Stunfisk,
Regigigas and I think Bidoof is just the cutest little TM Slave you ever did
see. I’m not trying to be intentionally contrary or hipster I 100% legit like
these Pokémon and it has nothing to do with the hate they get. In fact, as I
follow the series closely I keep up to date with new Pokémon reveals when a new
game is imminent, I liked Trubbish, Bidoof and Vanilluxe upon reveal (well I
guess upon reveal of Vanillish) and god that does make me sound like a Pokémon
Hipster doesn’t it? I liked Bidoof before it was uncool, yeah? I especially warmed to Trubbish who was adorable and just made so much sense as a pollution Pokémon
and an equivalent to Grimer. And my love for them has only grown after using
them throughout their games, Bidoof is super useful, Vanilluxe is a good ice
type and, well, Gabadoar is a big pile of rubbish that poisons things and that
does it for me, there are better poison types but they’re not trash bears. I
have highlighted this ratty Bidoof toy just to say that because dammit I want
to see more nice things being said about these poor ‘mons, I’m gonna go make a
banner and some badges ‘Vanilluxe for President of Everything’.

The Orange
Bird!

25p (32¢)

I can’t believe I haven’t
talked about my Orange Bird fetish, not even on the Examples of Crap I Waste MyMoney On post for Disney World where I bought a life-size Orange Bird plush. The Orange Bird’s gained himself
a cult following over the years but for the uninitiated: Disney came up with
the Orange Bird in 1970 for the Florida Citrus Commission, as part of a deal
whereby they would sponsor the Enchanted Tiki Room attraction and it’s adjacent
restaurant The Sunshine Terrace in exchange for a Disney character to use in
their adverts. Disney retained the rights the Orange Bird but let the Florida
Citrus Commission use him. Orange appeared in the park as a walk-around
character (bit scary) and was merchandised but eventually phased out. BUT THEN
OB received a resurgence of popularity via Tokyo Disneyland and Japan’s annual
Orange Day and has since returned to Walt Disney World. I like obscurities,
park mascots, park-only/park-born characters, food mascots and adorable things,
The Orange Bird is all of that and more so of course I’m now part of his cult
following. This pretty much has to be park merchandise: I don’t think Orange
Bird merch was sold anywhere else but in another ‘even if I’m wrong’ scenario it’s still a lil’
figurine of the Orange Bird and by all rights should never have been bought by
someone with my luck in a ‘four for a pound’ box. You are so cute Orange Bird,
be my friend forever.

Chap Mei
Fills!

£2 ($2.57)

Hey, we’re spotlighting
something toy collectors would actually want – sure it’s a niche within a niche
but Chap Mei undoubtedly has its fans and collectors and rightfully so -
they’re some of best toys to be released this millennium (aimed at kids anyway).
Anyway meet Police vs Bad Guyz’ Stinger
Lloyd, the Soldier Force Paratrooper,
a Xenmorph the Stellar ForceSeries II
Powerful Beast and Skeletor Bladekiller
from Beast Raider: Savage Warrior,
four massive gaps in my Chap Mei line-up that all got themselves filled in one
bootsale but for added satisfaction points, from different stalls throughout
the ‘sale, I got to go ‘round going ‘another one down’ ‘and another one down’
it very satisfying. That’s all I got, I just wanted to take a picture of all
four of them and put in an ‘achievement unlocked’ pop-up, now I have I find
myself at a loss for what to say. I’m gonna write the Kirsty MacColl segment
then come back to this. BACK. These guys have been THOSE gaps in the
collection, they shouldn’t be rare or expensive, they weren’t shortpacked or
recalled, they’re not necessarily the most sought after but they just never
show up for you personally and when they do it’s at time when you’re not able
to buy them (as has happened with me and that alien, it got to the point that I
was ready to declare him my nemesis and begin screaming his name in fury).
They’re not so much frustrating as they a little itch you just can’t reach, so
to be able scratch it four times in one bootsale was bloody nice.

A Verse for
Kirsty!

50p (64¢)

While the resale value is minimal
and the sleeve really needs an iron this was my ‘star buy’ from this bootsale
trip. This is Kirsty MacColl’s A New England / Patrick single from 1984 on
picture disc, which because it’s from Stiff Records and Stiff Records is Latin
for ‘promotional gimmick’ is one of those cut-out shape singles and that’s just
fine, of course it IS worth pointing out that the picture of England AND Scotland
and, well, the Song’s just about England but shut up it’s a nice shape and a
nice colour and has a picture of Kirsty MacColl on it looking really pretty! I fucking
love Kirsty MacColl, her voice, her personality, her lyrics, the fact that had
crippling stage fright but still performed, the fact that she died saving her
son, she was just awesome all ‘round and her singing a Billy Bragg song is
sonically one of the best combinations I can think of, and despite her solo
career being dominated by There’s a Guy
Work’s Down the Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis this was actually her highest
charting single (number 7), so I guess a good portion of the country once
agreed with me on that (of course this is the same country that got Mr Blobby
into the top 10 so….)

Jumping
Froglets!

10p (13¢)

And to end with, this. This
will probably mean nothing to anyone who’s not a fan/familiar with The Clangers
but: THIS IS THE BEST USE OF THIS TYPE OF TOY!!! FROGLETS! FROGLETS THAT ACTUALLY JUMP! The
Clangers revival continues to give me the toys I should have had when I was
four, it’s the gift that keeps on giving (and whistling). Also these were made
by a company called TCS, I dunno what it stands for but it may as well be ‘The
Rack Toy Company’.

And there you go, I shall
leave you with this: the Venom figure (the one between the Coco Pops giraffe
and Mickey Mouse in the haul photo) when I got home I noticed that he was
sticky and covered in some kind of white powder, the best case scenario I’ve
got is icing sugar but that really doesn’t explain much…