High School Baseball Coach's F-Bomb-Laden Rant Is the Worst (w/ NSFW AUDIO)

Some of you may have seen the story last week about former Major League Baseball closer Mitch Williams.

Williams is (well, was) the head coach of a ten-year-old team that was playing in a Ripken Tournament baseball game on the East Coast last week. According to fans and parents in attendance at the game, Williams caused a scene by going on a profanity-laced rant at an umpire who ultimately ejected him from the game. Among his other transgressions, Williams's ticket included calling a ten-year-old boy a "pussy" and ordering one of his pitchers to plunk an opposing player in the ribs with a fastball.

Not surprisingly, Williams has been given a leave of absence from his analyst gig on the MLB Network. Shockingly, though, Williams only managed to hold onto his title of "Worst Youth Baseball Coach in America" for less than one week!

Meet Kim Brooks, head baseball coach at La Mirada High School in La Mirada, California.

I don't know much about Brooks, other than that his mustache game is strong, his first name is unfortunate and his passion for high school boys' baseball is disturbingly unchained. Based on the audio below following an 8-4 loss on April 26 to something called a Los Osos, Brooks might also be currently trying to quit smoking, because he seems more than a little peeved at his team's performance in that game:

WOW.

A quick mini-Zapruder of this thing:

0:14 -- "I told ya the one reason we can beat teams bigger and badder than us is our F**KING HEART!!! WHERE THE F**K WAS THAT?!?" That must've been a pretty original pep talk by the ol' ball coach. I mean, what coach hasn't gone to the "we have more heart than they do" when he's coaching the shittier team? Kim Brooks, innovator.

0:57 -- Brooks just launched about ten F-bombs in eight seconds, shattering Bobby Knight's record, which he set multiple times throughout his career.

1:19 -- I don't know what the context was of Brooks going "blah blah blah...," but I do know that I found it very funny. The one time in the entire recording where Brooks appeared human (as opposed to the remainder of the audio, where he comes across as some combination of a rabid wolverine and a White Walker.)

1:24 -- I WANT MEN!!! If Brooks were in radio, this would totally be a hot key in his control room that his producer would use to clown him.

Apparently, Deadspin has gotten ahold of the entire audio file and has posted all 17 minutes of it unedited on its site, if you have plenty of time to kill and are employed in a work environment where you can listen to a grown man tell a bunch of kids what "fucking losers" they are at the top of his lungs on a loop.

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"School district officials Tuesday placed longtime La Mirada High athletic director and baseball coach Kim Brooks on paid administrative leave after the release of an audiotape which captured Brooks shouting and screaming for nearly 17 minutes in a profanity-laced tirade directed at the high school ballplayers.

The recording features Brooks repeatedly cursing at his players, questioning their dedication to the program and inviting players to transfer to another school.

When reached by telephone Tuesday afternoon, Brooks acknowledged it was his voice on the recording. Brooks was upset with his team's play, likely following an 8-4 nonleague loss to Los Osos on April 26.

"My language was inappropriate," Brooks explained Tuesday. "I was trying to motivate my team after a very poor performance, and I apologize about the language."

"The Norwalk-La Mirada Unified School District has received a copy of a recording of high school teacher and Athletic Director Thomas Brooks," the district said in a statement released Tuesday afternoon. "The District appreciates the serious nature of the content of the recording, and as such is conducting a full investigation into the matter. Pending completion of the investigation, Mr. Brooks will remain on paid administrative leave in order to preserve the integrity of the investigation process.

"Because the case involves an ongoing personnel matter, the District cannot comment further."

La Mirada's baseball team will begin the CIF-SS Division 2 playoffs at home Thursday, without Brooks in the dugout. La Mirada principal Bill Seals declined to identify who will coach the team.

"The kids are feeling confident," said Seals, who spoke with the players Monday. "We're trying to take the distractions away. ... I think it will be a seamless transition.""

Yeah, generally I find that teenagers react positively to not being dogcussed and told how worthless they are.

Sean Pendergast is a contributing freelance writer who covers Houston area sports daily in the News section, with periodic columns and features, as well. He also hosts afternoon drive on SportsRadio 610, as well as the post game show for the Houston Texans.