Sometimes a sports story happens and all I can do is shake my head and say, “damn, Jon Bois is going to turn this into scripted melodrama.” That’s what happened today when I watched Norfolk Tides manager Gary Allenson get ejected for disputing an umpire’s call that a ball had gone through the outfield fence rather than over it, only to then walk to center field, scale the wall, and wander around looking for the ball himself. It is its own one-act play. He looks everywhere, and takes just long enough for everyone on the field to turn around and stare at him like he’s the biggest idiot on the planet. But dammit, he knows he’s right!

The walk of shame he does when he has to go all the way back across the field to exit through his dugout is the saddest thing ever. I know we’ve all been there, so consumed by our sureness that logic and dignity get thrown out of the window. He is Liz Lemon, standing there scarfing down a sandwich at airport checkout, determined to have it all.