I decided after 21 years of marriage I needed to take a good look at what I am doing in my marriage that prevents intimacy. I figure that although we have a good sex life it might be interesting to see what would happen not just to our sex life but to our lives in general if I never refused my husband's sexual advances. So I am keeping this blog as a way to track what I discover.

Friday, January 27, 2012

The downside

So lots of quality time these days - unfortunately by the time we head to bed it is 11:00. We are connecting every night - and I am waking up exhausted every morning. The funny thing is that I am sleeping better - just not as long as I am used to.

Because I work from home I can fit in naps sometimes. Going to bed early isn't a great option as I am not really comfortable and relaxed until all the kids are asleep. We can snuggle up earlier but I can't relax for the actual act until everyone is asleep.

The positives - I am no longer stressing about wanting sex and being nervous about initiating. There is no initiating at all anymore. This is part of our daily routine again - as it should be. Not that it is at all routine - the routine is just that there will be sex. There is no question.

I didn't realize my true motivation for the original resolution. I thought I was doing this purely for my husband. I know now that I was craving this, that I needed my husband. I needed to make this a priority. I am busy, I am tired - but the relationship with my husband in and out of bed has to be my priority.

I am still working constantly, keeping up with the house, paying the bills, taking care of 4 kids, doing volunteer and charity work. I am working to find the balance as none of the above can be ignored. I am just glad I realized that my marriage can't be ignored either.

I am in a good place right now and it just makes me giddy that it is 8:54 a.m. and I am already looking forward to crawling in bed with my husband tonight - I hope he is having the same thoughts!

1 comment:

Wait until your husband reads that you also needed this for you because you need him. I hope hubby is helping with the kids and house if it is at all possible with his work schedule. The kids are old enough to help out too. Don't burn yourself out meeting all their needs when they may be able to meet some on their own. It will only create resentment in the long run. I hope this issue resolved itself with time.

About Me

I've been married 22 years and have 4 kids ages 19, 17, 10 and 8. I am lucky enough to have a great job that I can do from home! I am active in a few charities and enjoy playing and watching sports. This is my first attempt at blogging - having fun so far!