14 Ponders in the Midst of Letting It Go

You want something so badly you can taste it. And you think about it every minute of every day. Finally, you admit it – it may be time to let it go. “But I can’t,” you declare.

Now it’s time for me to admit it – I’m right-smack-dab in the middle of just that situation. It’s been driving me bonkers. Yes, I may just have to let it go (arghh!).

And, man, that’s one tough pill for me to swallow. Is it the same for you?

It’s Got a Hold on Me

Okay, let’s talk it out. I moved to Michigan this past October. About a month ago I sent in an application for my counseling license. I believed it was mere formality.

I received a letter 10 days ago informing me my application had been placed on hold. Why? Because there’s a master’s program class they require that wasn’t included in mine.

So in spite of having a master’s in counseling, passing the National Counselor Exam, at one time being licensed in Illinois, and logging thousands of hours of client work – I have to file an appeal. And I may not win (ouch)!

The Toll& Reality

The whole mess has gnawed at me for the past 10 days. I’ve been irritable, bummed, angry, tight in the gut and neck, and then some. As much as I don’t want to admit it, it’s wearing on me (and likely others???). Yesterday I began telling myself, “Come on, Bill, it’s time to let it go.”

Because I believe you’ll find them helpful, I’d like to share some of the feelings and thoughts that have gone through my heart and mind.

14 Ponders in the Midst of Letting It Go

If you know in your heart you’ve done all you could do, get past your anger and simply reward yourself for a job well done.

Be pleased this particular bout is over. Wait for a change in circumstances, devise fresh strategy, and get yourself back in the ring.

Were your original expectations (always a key word) realistic?

Beyond for the sake of the fight, what was it that made you hold on (out) for so long?

You may think you know why you wanted it so badly. But what was your real agenda?

When you became angry, what was really eating at you?

How much of the way in which you received and reacted could be attributed to traditional emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that need to change?

Was what you were fighting for truly in your best interest?

Knowing the outcome you desired, what image of self did it paint that was so attractive?

What have you learned?

What doors are opening – right now – that may soon close if you don’t move on?

What’s a realistic goal for the next bout?

Could it be that some sort of divine or spiritual intervention is at work?

What emotional, mental, and physical damage are you absorbing?

Sign-Off

I began making notes for this piece 10 hours ago and was writing like a man possessed. I knew I’d found the high-road and was excited about my fresh perspective.

Since then, I’ve cycled from that very place to wanting to jump back into the ring several times. Changing is one tall order, isn’t it?

When it’s all said and done, I’ll have my Michigan counseling license. Oh, it may not be when I would have liked; however, it’ll happen. And if I’m not careful, I might even pick up a few life lessons – and a bit of growth – along the way.