I don’t like my mind right now,
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary.
Wish that I could slow things down.
I wanna let go but there’s comfort in the panic.
And I drive myself crazy,
Thinking everything's about me.
Yeah I drive myself crazy,
Cause I can’t escape the gravity...

I'm holding on. Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on to much more than I can carry.
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down,
If I just let go, I'd be set free.
Holding on. Why is everything so heavy?

You say that I'm paranoid,
But I’m pretty sure the world is out to get me.
It’s not like I make the choice to let my mind stay so fucking messy.
I know I'm not the center of the universe,
But you keep spinning round me just the same.
I know I'm not the center of the universe,
But you keep spinning round me just the same.

I'm holding on. Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on to so much more than I can carry.
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down,
If I just let go, I'd be set free.
Holding on. Why is everything so heavy?

I know I'm not the center of the universe,
But you keep spinning round me just the same.
I know I'm not the center of the universe,
But you keep spinning round me just the same.
And I drive myself crazy,
Thinking everything’s about me!

I'm holding on. Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on to so much more than I can carry.
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down,
If I just let go, I'd be set free.
Holding on. Why is everything so heavy?

11 Comments

My InterpretationI remember Chester walked in and it was, 'Hey, how are you doing today?' and he's like, 'OH, I'm fine,' and we were hanging out for a minutes and he was like, 'Y'know what? I have to be honest. I'm NOT fine. I'm NOT OK. Too much stuff is just happening to me. I just feel underwater.' It was like that saying 'when it rains it pours;' It's that kind of feeling that stuff is piling up one on top of the other, and it creates this feeling of just being overwhelmed, like, 'Things feel so heavy to me...'"

Above is from someone in the room when they first came up with the song. The fact the Chester hanged himself today points to the fact that he dealt with depression and anxiety and it finally got the best of him. RIP Chester and thank you for all of your music.

My InterpretationThis lyrics isn't far from other linkin park song lyrics though its genre its very different from their previous albums.

The lyrics is very familiar to me, cause I was diagnosed in Generalize Anxiety Disorder with Social Anxiety Disorder in the same time, really my fcking mind is very messy, this is what I really feels, the constant panic attacks, feels like i cant hold on, thinking I was dying or going crazy, and the depression is killing me, its like im holding the weight of the world.

My InterpretationI think this song can be interpreted many ways, but the way I see it is that there's two sides of the song; Kiiara's side and Chester's side (the song's characters). Both could be dealing with mental health issues, and both seem to be at war with themselves.

Kiiara's character could possibly suffer from schizophrenia or intense paranoia or even severe anxiety. She portrays the less physical - but still as serious - side of mental health issues.

Chester's character seems to have anger issues, or something known as intermittent explosive disorder (IED). In the video, his character is shown to lash out and be physically violent, even if he's alone. He is seen screaming at himself and breaking glass over the table before leaving the house casually.

When he goes to the meeting where Kiiara is, he causes a fight with another participant and ends up storming out of the room to the men's room to calm down. When Kiiara sees this, she seems very calm or at least indifferent, unlike the rest of the group.

Then we see Chester, screaming (singing) at himself in the mirror. The words he says here are: "I drive myself crazy, thinking everything's about me." This could be expressing how he doesn't know why he is the way he is, and he overthinks it to the point of going 'crazy'. This happens shortly before we see him metaphorically attack himself.

Kiiara then quietly follows him to the bathroom, finds him sitting in a mess of broken mirror glass and clutching his head, and sits down next to him. Though before she enters, she hesitates and seems nervous; when she covers her face (which could be an example of overthinking and anxiousness.)

The video ends with Kiiara lightly touching Chester's arm, as if she's finally found someone that understands what it's like to be constantly 'at war' with yourself.

I think the entire title the chorus can be deciphered into the main theme.
"Why is everything so heavy?" - this could be people dealing with mental illnesses asking themselves "why does it have to be this way?" or "why does everything have to be so hard?"

@berrytea chster is screaming at himself because people with anxiety litteraly battle themselves. The general feeling is "everyone, including me, is against me. I am alone". Males and female react to anxiety (typicly) diffeantly. The male usually is becomes aggresive, even hyper vigalant. The Female tends to "bottle it up" until she emotionaly implodes. She becomes empty. These are of course generalisations and can change over time. The female that swallowed these negative emotions may suddenly explode and become agressive. The aggressive male may grow silent and non-reactive to the negative emotions until he implodes and drives himself to suicide.

I do not think the song applies to someone with a mental illness, I think this song applies to most everyone.

We do stack up problems in our mind that weigh us down and make us feel heavy.
Look back on a past break up, your thoughts then brought you down. You may have felt trapped by your own mind. Now that you have let go, you don't think of that person, you are free, are you not?

@harrrisda07 correct. in people with major depression or an anxiety disorder however even seeing complete strangers discusing the weather can cause half a panic attack. The differance? Temporary or permanant!

General Commentits about a couple living together for long time and are passing through a difficult phase but they love eachother and they are holding on(stay together).i think song title could be holding on instead of heavy .a beautiful song .a love song in linkin park way.

General CommentI really don't get why people are critisizing the "Genre change". Feel the music and feel the text. It's not how it's sung it's the emotion fueled by the song itself. In the case of heavy it's literally screaming. Ask someone with depression or an anxiety based illness to listen to it and try to discuss genre with them.

Yes, yes, yes. When I first heard their new songs I didn't have much interest because I was used to their old style. But once I listened to the lyrics a bit more, it started to hit me emotionally more and more each time. Now I play it constantly because the song describes my struggles perfectly. The interview where Chester talked about how it's terrible being in his head (or along those lines) was in a sense comforting to me. My mind is an awful place, I constantly put every problem in my life on me and things are always my fault which turns into constant self loathing. This sounds ridiculous to most people..but at some point in the lives of those who struggle with these thoughts, there were events or invalidations that form this pattern of thinking. And before you realize it, it's engrained in your head and nearly impossible to change. "'Its not like I make the choice, To let my mind stay so fucking messy"

I wrote more than I intended to reply, but youre spot on with the meaning behind it. I'm not sure I can think of a song that so perfectly describes that part of me.
But some people hear the music while others hear the lyrics.

My OpinionThis one really doesn't do it for me. And it's not the genre change or any of that. To me this feels like trying to latch onto the new hot trend of having a female vocalist on the track and talking about some deeper meaning of life.

But on most accounts, this one falls short. The lyrics seems pretty shallow overall, and despite Kiiara's strong vocals, it just never gets beyond something that feels quickly tossed together without true depth.

General CommentI think it could be about 2 people that are being dragged down by emotions (this is the switch in voices from Chester to kiarra) because of hard times. The two eventually find each other and they are helping each other carry the "heavy" weight aka being there for each other

My OpinionThis song portrays to me the struggle that goes on in a person's mind who has a mental illness. Particularly anxiety and being a lost child. How we might deal with it and why two people, on both spectrum, are drawn to each other. The girl is withdrawn and seems numb to the situation but inside she has so
much feeling and care but just as much inward anxiety that the man is portraying outwardly through anger and remorse of his actions. Both are hurt and feel alone, one closes down and puts up the walls and the other
handles his strong feelings with outward anger towards himself
and others. The girl is heavy with her own struggle but in the end she unveils herself and reaches out to him. This could be beginning of a beautiful
story of healing for them both or misery. Him dealing with his
feelings and realizing his problem (depression/anxiety/ maybe slight narcissism) is not to be projected on others and her opening up to express all her strong emotions and feelings for life to know her worth,that she has a voice that counts. Both at the end are faced with the decision to keep expressing their emotion in healthy ways. She was actually stronger, but her strength is fragile and cannot carry the man. He also needs to make a conscience effort each day to heal how he deals with his own emotions towards others and himself with more inward strength/peace. They both need to constantly work on their own weakness. This song is very personal to me, so this is just my take on it! It makes me very sad, toxic relationships come about from being drawn to each other's brokenness, the two mirroring what they wish they could express. Her, outwardly and him inwardly. The good side of this would be channeled strength (her) and empathetic understanding(him). In this world there is more Juliet and Romeo romances then we'd wish. ;(

@bonnieefenison forgot to add, the girl needs to open up(to her self to the world, etc) or her hurt will close in like her own personal iceberg throughout her life making her even more lonely and numb to her real feelings. Negative energy eats away like cancer.