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The time has come. I've been staring at the bottle for 4 days and I told myself MONDAY. So...30 minutes away from Tuesday, I guess I should just pop the pill. There are so many things going through my head right now. Part of me wants to go on with it and start fighting back. Part of me wants to curl up and cry. Taking this step makes it all too real. I was diagnosed just a little over a year ago. I didn't think I would have to get on meds so soon. I'd read about people who were unmedicated for many years, decades even. I use to hope I would be one of those, today...I wish I was...but I'm not. Over the past year, HIV was something that was making me go to the doctor every three months for blood tests...today I realize it's about a lot more than that. What scares me most about the meds isn't the side-effects, it's the commitment. I know that today my life changes. From this day on, meds will be a daily part of my life. I was the type who didn't even like to take an aspirin or multi-vitamin. I hate swallowing pills. And now here I sit, staring at the bottle...knowing there's no other way. I'm closeted when it comes to my infection, so I'm doing this alone tonight. It's scary. I wish I had a friend who could spend the first night...just to make sure I was alright...to be there if I woke up during some crazy dream, to tell me this was a good thing, a necessity. This is tougher than when I found out I was positive. I just texted the first person I ever told...who is just one of a handful who know...no response. I just want somebody to know what I'm doing. I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but I don't know I'll ever be...should I just get on with it now? I just watched Miss Universe. Maybe my ATRIPLA "vivid dream" will be about beauty queens and pretty dresses. That wouldn't be too bad. 20 minutes 'til Tuesday now. Can anyone help? Give me courage...

Hey, good luck! I can well imagine how you feel--it won't be easy for me when my time comes either. I'm sure you'll be fine. As you can see, there are many people here who have done what you're about to do and they're fine. No doubt one of them will come along soon and give more specific advice than I can. Do come back tomorrow to let us know how it went--or even come in during the night if you're awake; there's always someone on line. Again, good luck!

I just took the pill. The rest of my life just started. Interestingly enough...having just taken the pill, I feel good about myself because I'm doing what I can to fight back. It's actually calming, peaceful.

I'm off to bed. Check back tomorrow (or later if I can't manage to fall asleep) for any side effects.

I was so scared when I started on meds -- turns out for nothing. My vivid dreams were awesome, sometimes I would be laughing in my sleep. My doc suggested to be in a good frame of mind when I go to sleep at first, to set the stage for pleasant dreams. Watching Miss Universe sounds like a perfect setting - maybe the sleep timer on the tv with the volume down almost inaudible would help? I dont have the dreams so much anymore, I kind of miss them. I dont think twice about eating my meds either.I took mine on a Friday night so I wouldnt have to wake up so early and go to work. Was pretty groggy in the mornings for a while. I had some one with me = just in case. I would have been fine by myself.Good luck!

I'm up after the first night. Can't say my vivid dreams were awesome, but they weren't bad or scary...just wierd...and now I don't even remember all the details of it. I woke up at 3 AM but stayed in bed and fell right back asleep - I'm thinking this may also just have been related to my anxiety over the pill and not necessarily related to the pill itself. The only negative side effect I experienced was a total numbness in my legs and arms...it was a little wierd...almost felt like I lost control of them for a while. All is good this morning though...don't even feel groggy like some report. So far, so good...

Just remember some side effects may kick in, but in most cases go away after a week or two. If anything troubles you, make sure to discuss it with your doctor. After a little while taking the pill becomes part of your daily routine, like brushing your teeth.

Hey youngpoz, welcome to the forums. I am in a very similar boat as you, I have been waiting for finals to finish so I can start taking my Atripla too, when I have a few off-days to get used to it. Last week I finished finals and this week I have a paper to finish and then its down the hatch for me too. Probably Wednesday or Thursday this week I'll take my first one. Like you I have some anxiety about it, but I know its much ado about nothing really. Good for you for taking it. It will help me finally fight back against this virus thats been in my body for so long. Im SO curious to see how much better I feel once I start, if the tiredness and lethargy goes away. I know the pill will take some of the pressure off my own immune system so it won't have to spend so much energy fighting off the HIV. Keep us informed of how you are doing. I will post my own Atripla log when I take my first one in a couple days.

I'm up after the first night. Can't say my vivid dreams were awesome, but they weren't bad or scary...just wierd...and now I don't even remember all the details of it. I woke up at 3 AM but stayed in bed and fell right back asleep - I'm thinking this may also just have been related to my anxiety over the pill and not necessarily related to the pill itself. The only negative side effect I experienced was a total numbness in my legs and arms...it was a little wierd...almost felt like I lost control of them for a while. All is good this morning though...don't even feel groggy like some report. So far, so good...

Youngpoz and newbieguy, My partner has been on Atripla for 4 years. The dreams do finally lessen or, well right now they have changed over to almost wet dreams with young boys. So hang in there. I don't know what climate y'all live in, we are in the south, but he didn't sweat for over a year. It's hot here, and that can be dangerous if you're out in the heat. You have to have pretty much a full night's sleep with that drug, especially at first. If he fell asleep in his recliner and woke up at 2 AM and took his pill and tried to go to work the next morning, he had hell. One morning he forgot and took it that morning....he was back home in about 30 minutes. DON'T skip a dose.

hey JAdkins, you know I had to respond to a fellow Southerner lol. I usually get about 6-7 hours of sleep so hopefully it won't affect it too much, but I don't care, Ill deal with the side effects as long as they arent too bad. Time to put this darn hiv in its place! Just a couple more days to go and down the hatch!

Thank you all for your comments. It's nice to have this support structure...even if it's a virtual one. By the way, I'm in the South too! South Florida to be exact...though you can argue that there is nothing Southern about South Florida!

NewbieGuy - can't wait to hear how it goes for you. I'm 27 and I'm ready to fight this SOB and live a long and healthy life! Just popped my second pill.

I'm in So. GA. and have been on Atripla for 3 yrs. I'm jealous, I never had the "dreams" that others have talked about. When I started my CD-4s were at 191 and VL. was around 38,000. After 3 months my CD-4s shot up to 300 and my VL. was almost undetectable. Now my CD-4s are in the 600s and VL. is undetectable. My ID. has been very happy with my results.

The only side effects I have had were muscle aches in my shoulder blades, sensitivity to hot weather, and depression. If you start having depression call your doctor ASAP.

Doing great here! 6 nights in and the only thing I'm a little concerned about is some numbness in my arms/legs. My doctor said to give it a few days..and already it's starting to go away. Other than that...the dreams are interesting but not scary....they've ranged from swimming in a beach in Puerto Rico to witnessing a tiger pouncing on a woman! (no blood shed)...fun stuff really! lol...