Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Sadly, I don't even know where to begin. I don't know what to write about...or how to be transparent today. I feel like I'm in a cloud...and one that's full of rain and ready to just let it all fall. Ever feel like that?

Griffen (Sveta) is beside me watching a VeggieTales before she naps. This morning she's crawled everywhere, and corrected me everytime I've called her Sveta. She isn't Sveta. Sveta is outside chained up in her dog house...and with me inside is Griffen. Griffen constantly informs me of what I'm supposed to say or do (in reference to himself): sit, lay down, wash, treat, food, water, out of the kitchen, etc.
Mama does NOT like this game. I've tried to explain that Griffen actually gets ignored alot, he sleeps most of the day, and he doesn't get to tell Mama what to do. Sveta however LOVES this game and attempts to play it at every free moment.

Don't get me wrong, I like that she's pretending. I just want her to pretend to be a butterfly, or princess, or anything but Griffen. I'm sick of two whiny dogs.

But, I will keep kind of playing, because she needs be to be engaged with her. She never was able to choose what to play with, or what to play. Never had the opportunity to be creative.

7 weeks. 7 weeks, and I've forgotten already. I've forgotten where she's been...what she's been through...and I've begun to expect her to be adjusted and fabulous all the time. Sometimes I have to stop and marvel at all we've come through. Marvel at what God has done. Marvel at what He's doing. And marvel at the fact that He's not done yet...He'll keep working.
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Do you ever feel like you just have too many things that are pulling you in too many directions? How do you decide which of the good things are the things that you do? Really, answer that! Someone. I can't figure it out. There are so many good things that I am/could be a part of, and yet some of the things that I really desire to be part of or to start never have the time to get done. Why is that?

That's all you get on this Wednesday. This Wednesday just happens to have my brain full of all sorts of thoughts that I can't put on paper yet. Trust me, I've tried. It's not working.