Pages

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

When I chose this journey, or this journey came my way, I was so excited. Actually, I had a lot of emotions. "What in the world have I gotten myself into," was at the top of that list. Thankful, scared, anxious, emotional were among the others. Some travelers go in pairs and I started this journey by myself. Hopefully, towards the end of the year my best friend will start with me, but until then, I'm here in Texas with two pups who are so over our daily conversations. I think they think I have gone mad by this point. Ha. I sing to them, I have lengthy conversations with them, and sometimes I make them lay down for a treat more than once. You can't teach these bums anything. Aside from all of that, I have been able to explore Houston and all that it has to offer. That is a lot. A LOT. I could be here an entire year and still not see everything. What's funny though, is that the pictures I post are merely pictures. If you could take a picture of this brain, it would send a different message. I miss home, I often wonder why I have to do this alone, if I will be alone forever, what am I missing back home, etc. Needless to say, since I don't have a lot of humans to talk to, my brain stays in overdrive. I have a lot more time to think about my life. The past, the present and that future I worry about daily. I heard a song by Kristy Starling the other day. "Hold onto your faith, there will come a day." The song itself is called, "There will come a day." So much of what we hear is about trusting the Lord and letting Him work inside of us. I fight this. Don't most of us? We question, we dream, we seek answers about our future instead of solely trusting that God has it all figured out for us. Being patient isn't my specialty. I've blogged about that enough times to know that. I am learning everyday to wait patiently and to trust in God and to know that His plans are greater. Yesterday, I heard a sermon about God's work. He said, "You decide how you will work when you decide if you trust God to do His work." If we could simply trust in Him and make our relationship with Him number one then He would supply the rest. I think this could apply to everything, not just work. Yes, work is important and we need it to survive in this country. However, we are as happy as WE choose to be. He provides us with everything that we need, all we have to do is trust. And that future part, right now I am living in the present. I have to remind myself constantly to stop dreaming, to wait patiently and to trust. The next paycheck, the next boyfriend, the next car, the next location for work, it'll all be here before I know it and I'll have missed this beautiful present if I blink too fast. And like the quote says above, it will hurt, but God never leaves our side. So here's to trusting, because there will come a day.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

I've been in Houston or Webster for two weeks now (Webster is right outside of Houston). Did you know that Houston is vastly becoming the THIRD LARGEST CITY in the US, if not already? We Birminghamians thought 280 was bad...it's nothing compared to the overpasses that literally put you on top of the world, 8 lane highways that are under construction daily to become bigger, the countless toll roads, and interstates straight through each town because it's the only thing large enough to accompany this insane traffic. I did manage to drive from work to Target and home the other day without Siri. She and I were both impressed. I guarantee you I did not trek out to Texas for the traffic. People often ask us travelers why we choose traveling. I know that I am traveling to see the country, to save money (pay off some bills) and for far greater reasons than people I'm only going to see for 13 weeks at a time would like to know. Those reasons I tend to keep to myself, unless I blog about them, of course. So I'm here, in Texas, for the next 10 weeks (remember, I've been here for 2). For me, I knew that I was in a cycle that wasn't going to end anytime soon. I felt like I was solely relying on family, friends and exes to create my identity, and I was losing myself in the process. Everything was the same. The days, the bars, the dinners, the excuses. I've never wanted to settle, although I felt like I was back home. As a quickly approach my 30s, I knew I needed to learn more about myself and how to be okay with it just being me (and my pups too) Baseball games by myself, nights alone and dinners for one don't make me the lonely girl that people might portray that as. I want and need to take full advantage of the opportunities I have been given because I might not ever have these things again. So I'm traveling to become a better version of me. To really be okay with doing this adventure by myself and not just saying I'm okay. Maybe you call it running away or maybe not. Maybe my life was never supposed to stop in Alabama, maybe it was meant to take me all over the world because my heart needed closure it would never find standing still. My life has taken a different road and a different turn. Maybe, just maybe, I am running to exactly where I am supposed to be all along.