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Monday, 15 September 2014

Looking

I've missed this little space of mine. It's only been five days since I last spoke to you but missing my Friday post seemed to throw me off. In ways I'm glad I missed it because if I started typing through the hectic roller coaster my mind was going through, nothing would have made sense and nothing would have seemed right on here.

But now I feel the need the write, and the urge to share.

I've been staring out through glass a lot these past few days but the strange thing is I've only just discovered what I've been looking through. When I first started my pondering and my dreaming, I thought I was staring through a glass wall, out into a world far better than my own. I would look out and see success, and family and love and comfort and all the things I ever wanted but I knew I couldn't ever get there; I can't walk through walls after all.

But I'm starting to see something. I'm realising these walls I've been looking through earnestly, aren't actually walls at all; they're windows. The glass can indeed open up and I can indeed reach out to my dreams and my goals, if only I had the courage to do so.

And that's the funny thing. Sometimes I feel I don't have the confidence to jump through the window. Sometimes I feel I have known all along that pushing the little knob on the glass would open up new opportunities and dreams, but the idea frightened me and instead I hid in my cosy corner of denial.

I'm not sure how long it's going to take to be able to make that jump through the glass opening in the wall. I may never take that leap, I may take it this afternoon and jump straight back into my cosy room or I may need some help to push me through. Despite how long it takes however, at least I now know that the outside world I once looked out upon and dreamed of isn't unattainable after all.

9 comments:

Wow Sam. I love it. Both the photography and the writing. This post has got to be one of my favorites! You're not alone regarding such fears. I believe we all have it and it's just a matter of time before we make the jump.