Thursday, June 15, 2017

Apparently Man Cannot Live By Bread Alone - You Have to Eat Sunlight

Or rather doesn't need to live by bread alone. Comes now a new resurgence in a century's old cultish belief which is that man can lively solely on air (breatharian) or sunlight (sun eater.) Just different names for the same thought - that man can exist solely on the sun's energy absorbed through the eyeballs which converts to vitamins, minerals, etc. in the human body and can maintain this happy (if wildly unhealthy) state of being. As the eyeballs are not able to photosynthesize energy or anything else other than vision, this is a very dubious claim before anyone has begun the practice.

This is how these believers purportedly live: they start by staring at the sun for 10 seconds at one hour after sunrise and one hour before sunset. Check your local newspaper. Gradually the wanna-be practitioner moves up to 45 minutes per day and that much closer to complete and total blindness.

It is also necessary to walk around barefoot on bare dirt or sand; pavement need not apply, for one hour per day. This is to put the practitioner more closely in tune with nature (and dog poops for those with their gaze fixed lovingly on the sun.)

The colors of the sun are believed to heal/improve specific areas of the body. Green light goes directly to your liver where it cures whatever might be wrong with that. Since the French as a nation are obsessed with the state of their liver, a crise de foie or liver crisis is blamed for car wrecks, mass shootings, and for all I know infertility. Thus I am surprised not to find whole café terraces filled with people sitting quietly with sun reflectors up to their faces, greedily "drinking in" the sun. Maybe we didn't pass the right cafes or were on the wrong street.

Red deals with your kidneys and yellow goes to the heart.

Interested readers asked questions - If I eat too much sun will I get a sunburned stomach if I vomit? Does this diet work if I'm wearing sunscreen? What if you live in a cloudy climate like San Fancisco or Seattle?

Delusional practitioners (every one of them) claim not to have eaten or drunk water for incredible periods of time - three years here, nine years there ... I think that the claimants, if they are sincere, would agree to have the toilets removed from their homes. They aren't (supposedly) using them ...so they wouldn't need or miss them, right?