Within the heart of every stray lies the singular desire to be loved! (love a stray today :) ) Welcome to the trappings of a curious and sometimes demented mind!

Monday, December 15, 2008

a funny

AN ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION

>> 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.>>>> The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'>> 'Yes, Father, it is.'>>>> 'And who was the girl you were with?'>> 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'>>>> Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as>> well tell me now.>>>> Was it Maria Minetti?'>> 'I cannot say.'>>>> 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'>> 'I'll never tell.'>>>> 'Was it Nin a Capelli?'>> 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her..'>>>> 'Was it Cathy Piriano?'>> 'My 2 lips are sealed.'>>>> 'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'>> 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you. '>>>> The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Joey>> Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You>> cannot be an altar boy for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'>>>> Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and>> whispers,>> 'What'd you get?'>>>> 4 months vacation and five good leads.

8 comments:

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'what's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

olivia, that's cute! made me laugh :) wouldn't it be fabulous to have the first wish granted?!!

on another note... the ppl at the cd shop at the mall ordered me two oswald dvd's ... didn't even know it. went in to request for them to order them for me (cheaper that way), and they already had.... i was so touched. made my day! :)

Love it,it reminded me of an other joke about a guy telling a priest about his sexual adventures with twins,when the priest says "thats no way to talk for a catholic boy"he says i'm not a catholic""so why are you telling me this""i'm telling everyone"

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I'm a girl living in Bahrain, under the all too watchful eyes of her in-laws, begging for a breath to speak/write it all down.... and I have a beautiful boy that will soon be 3... he's the only thing that keeps me 'almost' sane..... that and happiness that flutters like a butterfly... a beautiful red, black and gold one.... too quick to catch.