Wednesday, September 19, 2012

You've ever read a book at a cafe and spent most of your time fantasizing about what you'll talk about if anyone asks what you're reading. Bonus points if you're reading Kerouac, Nietzsche, or Burroughs.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Vin Diesel's thighs are actually hollow, spring-loaded mechanisms into which he draws his lower legs, allowing him to launch upward to clear tall obstacles, blast head-first through them, or compete in head-butting competitions with other Vin Diesels for females.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Jon Voight has been dead for over a decade. Angelina Jolie simply wears his skin around town, every now and then, to convince people that he's still alive. This explains why Voight took that role in the movie Bratz. Jolie couldn't hear very well through the disguise and thought the agent was saying Cats, which she has always loved.