"New York's hottest new club is Checkmate! It's got everything! Swingers, celebrity chef dominatrixes, dungeons that look like kitchens, a kitchen that looks like a dungeon, and even a human EVOO dispenser."

"What is a 'human EVOO dispenser'?"

"It's that thing where you take a midget, and give him an olive oil enema and then stick a cork in his little behind."