Professional Relationship Advice: A Good Idea

“I love him a lot and I know he loves me too. But sometimes I just don’t understand his behaviour.”

“He is saying he needs to break up with me for my own good. Is that true or just a line?”

“She says she will not marry me against her parents’ wishes. Why did she fall in love with me then?”

“I was there for him with my heart and soul when he was going through a rough patch. Now when things are good, it’s like he’s taking me for granted. Am I being selfish?”

Are these some of the scenarios that made you look for relationship advice? Then you have come to the right place!

Relationships can be a tricky matter. As much happiness they bring into our lives, they also compel us to think about so many things as once; sometimes it feels like we need to play them like games; sometimes we wish there was a manual for all relationships that could give all the right advice on how to have the perfect relationship!

Some of the occasions where you might need relationship advice are:

When you like someone and don’t know how to tell them

When you have just entered a relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend

When you are in love but somehow things don’t seem right

When you feel that the person you are with may actually be interested in someone else!

When you are about to get married and feel nervous

When your marriage seems to be going through a rough patch

When at any time, the person you love is hurting you and you don’t know how to tell them without losing them

Apart from the romantic ones, relationship problems can also include issues with parents, siblings, friends, co-workers etc. and they are just as important to lead a happy life.

Why professional relationship advice is a good idea

It looks like we may need relationship advice at any point in our relationships. If your problems have been going on for a long time and are not getting resolves with time, there is absolutely nothing wrong in seeking professional advice. It DOES NOT mean that you are weak and incapable of handling your relationships; instead it means that you care so much about your loved ones and your relationship with them that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. Here’s what happens when you go to a professional (like the therapists on Hopenetwork.in) for relationship advice:

Sometimes if feels good just to talk about how you have been feeling and get unconditional support in turn

You get a completely objective third person view that can help you see things from a new perspective which is not possible with a friend or well-wisher

There is no involvement of a ‘favour’ because you pay your therapist and in return get guaranteed professional service

You can be completely open about your feelings with the assurance of not being judged, criticised or blamed

A trained therapist can teach you relationship and interpersonal skills that are built up on strong theory and research, and which can equip you with ways to be happy in all relationships for life!

I’m assuming that if you have landed on this page it is because you are going through a rut in your romantic relationship, I would like to assure you that you are not alone. Love relationships are like a roller coaster ride for many, where you don’t know what the next bend is going to bring. More often than not though, these ups and downs sort themselves out if your relationship is built on a strong foundation. You just need to ride these times like a surfer rides a wave. Stay balanced, don’t let it drown you.

Meanwhile, here’s my A-B-C to get you through those difficult times:

A: Allow for space

If you feel that your partner appears distant and if he/she does not give a satisfactory answer when you first ask, leave them alone for a while. Sometimes things are small enough to get resolved on their own with a little time. But if somebody keeps drawing your attention to it by asking repeatedly, it’s bound to get worse.

B: Balance yourself

It may seem like right now you’re spiralling down a dark hole where your relationship is concerned, but you need to plant your feet on the ground. Too much of any emotion at a sensitive time like this will not do any good.

C: Closer, not farther

When your partner is upset, don’t make it about you. It may just be something they need to deal with alone. At this time don’t push them away, keep them close and let them know you’re there by their side. And sometimes, all you need to do this is a warm hug, their hand in your hand or just a silent walk with them.

My experience tells me that sometimes, in relationships, we over-emphasize resolving issues. But many a times, the issues are something else, but due to this over-resolution, become entwined with the relationship. When crises strikes, always remember, you need to remember “us” rather than “you and “me”. If you can bring back the “us”, you will be able to sail through any storms!

As much as I would like to help each one of you out personally when it comes to the matters of the heart, unfortunately, due to sheer number of you who approach me, it is not possible. If you sign up with me or any other therapist at Hopenetwork.in for affordable personalized help, we can guarantee you our best assistance in resolving your issues.

If you cannot pay, don’t lose heart! I have something special for you too! Even though it would not be as specific as personalised help, I have created an exclusive forum for you on this website where all those, for whom love hurts right now, come and open their hearts in a safe space (you don’t need to disclose your name if you don’t want); and that’s not all, this could be a rare opportunity for you to help someone through a difficult patch in their relationship, something that you may have already faced and won over it! Because do you know what’s the best way to lessen the pain of the heart? To TALK about it. When you talk to someone about what’s on your mind and you know that the other person understands exactly what you’re going through, there’s no better feeling of relief. This is how problems get solved.

So come, talk about matters of your heart, and while you look for your own solutions, you may just give a hand to someone else too, you never know! I look forward to seeing you there!Don’t stay troubled, Trained professionals can help

You will Hate to Miss it

Be the first to know when

a new gem appears in the HopeNetwork.in, Who knows, which article, which tip changes your life??

Input your name and email, and we would be happy to share new content with you.​

About the Author

Prachi is the chief Clinical Psychologist, Marital therapist and founder of HopeNetwork.in. Writing is her passion! She also contributes articles as an expert psychological consultant to the Indian edition of the acclaimed Child magazine. She also has been associated with Femina.in earlier as relationship expert. She has been a prefered consultant in many defence settings. When she's not taking psychotherapy sessions, she loves to write about tips and tricks that people can easily adopt in their daily lives to make lives a little bit happier and better!

27 Comments

Aditi
on December 30, 2014 at 5:50 pm

Hi,
I had been looking for someone to talk with since long time. its about my life n my career n my anger n I cry a lot…. can you help. plz

I need help please. I’m stuck in a very bad situation in my relationship but a very strange one too. I can’t express it all in this comment but I need help. I feel emotionally broken. I want to stop the tears rolling down from my eyes. Desperate need of help.

hi. i need help on some serious matter. i need to talk to and seek advice from someone. i found no better place than this. but i cant explain things here on the comment area. how can i talk to directly?

Hi aklima, I’m sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult phase with your husband. A happy marriage requires both understanding and tact. Sometimes when we get used to seeing our partner from one perspective, it can get tough to switch our view, but with proper advice it can be changed. We would be happy to help you as a couple or just you to better adapt to your situation. You can get in touch with us at www,hopenetwork.in/contact-us and let’s get working!

how to stop smoking.der z any medical suggestions or medicine available.plz suggest.Till w i adopt every situation,i need some changes in life for happiness.bcoz my kid also suffering from d same situation.

i & my bf had been in a relationship from past 9 years.now he says he don left feelings for me..he has fallen-out of love. we had many on -offs in relationship.now he don;t show any interest in me.i m feeling shattered going to through bad phase of life.i lost my appetiser sleep .i am not getting any way how to be out of this. and id their any possibility my bf would b back.please help me

I am in a relationship from last one year. She is one year elder to me and one inch taller than me. Before me, she was in relationships more than one time. I find her very kind, caring and loving. She wants to marry me. But I cannot get over her past relationships. I need your help. Could you please help me? I would be really grateful to you
Thank you!

A guy proposed me I think he is good for me but cant able to reply him because i was ditched in my past and dont have the courage to get ditched again. Is there any help you could do me to know whether he is sincerely loving me or just want to timepass. Please help me . Your answer can change my life

only time will say he is serious or not you have to wait and observe him how he behaves with you or when you have your conversation he forgets or remembers every thing about you these are some small things that can give your answers you need to find in you is he honest or not…AND dont make hurry to get into any relationship until you forget your past try to forgive him who had dumped you only then your heart will heal or else you cannot deal with your problems..

I’m married for six years n was craving for his love..bcos of his familial burden n his chasing of dream restrictd him frm reciprocating his love for me… i felt very much lonely all de six years…i was abandoned by my parents n in- laws…so i was hopeless abt my life wished to end my life many a times…In de meantime… i got a new hope frm a person who is less than 11years younger than me…n he was de one who supported my mental sickness n gave all the hope…n made to wish a living…. n i ve fallen in love with him…he too accepted my love n i felt lik i was born again n started to live happily within myself….my suicidal thoughts is due to my husband’s ferocious verbal attack n i started gettin depressed….the mistake i ve done is I didnt talk straight to my husband tat i dont wan anymore to live with him n i myself decided to end this bond n to marry de one who really gave hope to me….one day my husband learnt abt my love n my decision to leave him…frm tat day on he is very stubborn nt to leav him… which i really couldnt think of..im deeply in love with the person who gave me hope….nowadays my husband started to threaten to shame me n spoil my career n to mutilate my lover…situation is out of control n im in total fear…i couldnt think of making love with the person whom i love no more..but my husband wants me to.. n fixed a deadline to throw my new love n to ve sex with him this Wednesday….i couldnt bear..he wants me to erase the thoughts of my new relationship n wan me to continue with him…n says tats de only option im left with… im afraid he ll mutilate my lover…only becos of tat thought…im totally sick n helpless now… his deadline really makes to think abt suicide…

the guy who is younger than you dont get judgemental that he is younger than you so you cannot be happy with him or you are doing a wrong thing..second thing is your husband is a selfish person he doesnt love you…these are the 2 main points….first you have to sort out with your husband legally then you can start your ask yourself is he worth to get 2nd chance dont make decisions in a hurrry think what you want and also dont hurt anyone just talk to them convince them….there are many ways to solve problems find them…..good luck…

you dont need to get frighten he will not do anything he is just frightning you….and about your loves career concern if he is educated then no one can finish his career you need to study laws nowadays there are laws for women you can fight..

Maam I am in a relationship from last november.I am 25 years old girl.My bf is 26 years old.We have a very good bonding.After few months of our relation i came to know that he has a heriditywise depression disorder.He used to take medic but aftr our relation he stopped taking it.He was litterally happy as he used to tell me.But after 4 to 5 months it started again.So he decided to go doctor in Hyderabad.Now he is taking medicine.But after tking medicine He is strted changing.He says he doesnot feel that love craziness that he used to feel.Now it seems one sided love for me.Yesterday he told i am not giving him space.Before we used to talk 5 to 6 hour maxmum.But now we dont talk or chat.Very less he message me.As long distance love we met very less.I am only suffering .He is living his normal life,He is just saying may be medic action.What should i do now maam??I was very happy with him and we had a strong mind similarity.Give me ray plsss

It seems that because your boyfriend quit taking his medication for depression before time, it caused a relapse of his condition and even though he is taking meds again, it looks like they are not proving very effective.

You have to understand that depression is just like a physical illness, of which if you don’t complete the treatment course, it comes back. His asking for space, and distancing himself from you shows that either he is struggling with depressive feelings of his own and is feeling crowded. Instead of expecting him to behave like a typical boyfriend, be there for him just to listen to what he has to say. When he seems aloof or irritated, ask him how he’s feeling and try to understand his state of mind. Never make him feel he’s defective in some way that he is taking meds for depression. In fact you should be proud of him that he has the awareness to tackle his problems in the right way. Also, when the time is right, communicate to him gently without making it sound like a blame that it hurts you to see him pull away and you would really like to know what he expects from you in this relationship. If you feel you may lose your temper or get too needy while saying this in a conversation, you can write an email to him, communicating your thoughts; but keep it blame free and neutral.

Also advise him to go and check in with his psychiatrist once again or take some psychotherapy help. He can even consult one of the professionals here online. All the Best!

Thank you maam.He is saying its medic action makes him numb.But i m blaming him .May be i m wrong.But i m feeling insecurity,cant sleep at night,cant focus on my exams.some of his words make me feel lost lik “If u want to b separated you can,i l nt feel upset because my feelings are not working”.I become dependent on him.I feel suffocation.Doc told to take medic for 2 years.Maam dat 2 years he l be like that?What should i do maam?

He is absolutely right when he says he is feeling numb; especially if it is a relapse of his condition. Just imagine, if he had cancer or heart disease, then would you have blamed him or taken care of him? Then why should depression be any different? It is an illness just like any other. It is not something he can just snap out of, like a bad mood. You have to understand him. He needs YOU more than you need him right now. Don’t cling on to him, he does not have enough to give right now…he needs your love and nurture. Be there for him, he’s going through something very painful. As for your question, whether he will be like this for two years, just think, would you ask an irritated cancer patient the same question? Recovery is not magic that just take a pill and get all better. Ask him to consult his doctor again and tell him these feelings and also ask him to consult a psychotherapist. That is very very important. I can recommend an excellent therapist in Hyderabad itself if he is interested. You can ask him and let me know.

Maam he is now no more in Hyderabad.I m from Tripura.He will start councelling here.Do you know any councellor here?Yes i made him irritated with my rude behaviour.I will recover it with my love.Thanx a lot for your advice.I was feeling insecurity.But after taking medic he become more matured.Thanx a lot maam.

Hello Prachi ,
Im glad that i found this article today , I have been going through a very difficult phase both emotional and physical self harm in my relationship and i strongly want to speak out things and find what’s exactly happening with me , so i wll be really gratefull to you if you can help mewith this.