Shut Up & Hold My Fucking Margarita (Answering Questions You Wished No One Had Asked): No, Sanitary Items Aren’t A Luxury, and No, Women Can’t Control Their Periods You Fuckwit

Okay, so people post some stuff that I just want to scream, ‘What the fuck are you fucking thinking, you fucking dickhead?’

So I’ve decided to create “Shut Up and Hold My Fucking Margarita” questions to abolish some ignorant-as-fuck myths that people seem to earnestly believe because they’ve obviously never heard of Google before, let alone fucking Snopes.

If you see something that makes you think, ‘What the fuck are you fucking thinking, you fucking dickhead?’, please post it below and let me know, so I can tag you/your blog with the recommendation!

DISCLAIMER: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF THAT I HAVE CREATED BY ALL THE DRINKING POSTS, I ACTUALLY DON’T DRINK VERY MUCH OR VERY OFTEN. THESE POSTS ARE WRITTEN SOBER, SO ANY INACCURACIES ARE LEGIT INACCURACIES, SO PLEASE DO POINT THEM OUT. THE MARGARITA PICTURED WAS TAKEN ON A CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY WITH MY FAMILY WHILE WE WERE OUT AT THE FED IN MARYBOROUGH, WHICH IS A GREAT PUB. CHEERS TO THE FED MAKING MY MARGARITA JUST TEQUILA, LIME AND ICE, WHEN I GOT PISSY ABOUT THE IDEA THERE WAS GOING TO BE LEMONADE IN IT AND THEN EVERYONE WAS LIKE … ‘SO WHAT YOU WANT IS JUST A LOT OF TEQUILA?’ LIKE, SHIT YEAH. MY UNCLE WAS RACIST AND SEXIST AS FUCK, I JUST NEEDED SOMEONE TO LEAVE THE BOTTLE THAT YEAR.

A post shared by Carla (@thingscarlaloves) on Dec 28, 2016 at 6:42am PST

Sometimes I’m really confused how people get through life without understanding basic biology in regards to people who have a functioning uterus, but every now and then you get some fuckhead who takes the cake:

Yeah, no.

Just no.

That’s not how a fucking period works.

Women* have three holes.

One we pee out of, which is also near our clit and referred to as the urethra, (if you’re unsure of where this is, trust me, this isn’t great news for your sex life), and if you don’t know what the clit is, you’re doing it wrong, trust me; one is our vagina, the one we bleed out of and push babies out of if we’re so inclined; and the other is our asshole.

One to pee, one to bleed, one to shit.

People who have a functioning uterus (remember, not all women have a uterus, and some men do, hence people) can not control when their period comes.

And, I can assure you, if you have a uterus that is functioning properly, you can rest assured that that fucker is going to come every fucking month.

That’s kind of one of life’s guarantees, sitting nice and snugly beside death and taxes.

As periods have a mind of their own, and blood has a tendency to, you know, run and drip like liquids do, if we don’t have a tampon or pad between our legs, guess where that blood goes?

Everywhere.

It’ll soak through your undies, your clothes, especially on the first few days of your period.

It may even soak through onto car seats, or onto classroom seats, or work seats.

Because I’m pretty sure if all women* and transmen bonded together, and we decided, “You know what? Fuck this fucking shit. You want to call it a luxury? We won’t wear sanitary items for a fucking day”, and we all organised a date where we decided to free-bleed, all across Australia, we’d certainly start hearing a lot of shit from men who are suddenly pissed about all the people who “can’t control their period bladder”, but we’d also probably no longer have a luxury tax, because once every company and school has to change all the fucking chairs, and deal with the stench of blood that is a luxury to the chosen ones who have a fucking uterus, I kind of get the feeling that, once you stopped bitching, you’d see it from our side.

And that is, it isn’t a fucking luxury item to not want to bleed all over everything every fucking month.

But if you’re still not convinced, then shut up and hold my fucking margarita, because I’d love to find a bunch of people all over the fucking world who are fucking sick of your bullshit, and would love to free-bleed all over your shit, deliberately, until you decide that maybe, just maybe, you’re fucking wrong.

It’s disgusting, I know, but why should it have to get to the disgusting stage of people bleeding every fucking where before you start taking this shit seriously, and stop taxing people for products that are necessities, not luxuries?

Cause otherwise, if this Free-Bleeding Revolution begins, I’m going to make sure I find a nice place to sit on a pompous ass’s something valuable and just stay there for an hour.

Is the claim credible? Is the author writing biased? Is the author credible? An elite education doesn’t make someone more or less credible, so you often have to look beyond a person’s education background.

Accuracy

Do the claims fit in to an accurate timeline? Do the claims made by the author reasonably stand up? If you’re seeing a lot of inaccuracies, especially against the timeline the person is creating, you need to consider if the claim is accurate. Context is often key.

Reasonableness

Mostly, this comes down to whether or not the person is clearly creating a bias. Obviously, everyone has biases. I try and declare mine at the bottom of every post that I think would benefit from extra sources. I freely admit that I definitely have biases, prejudices and will obviously write in a way that conveys what I believe is the truth. That doesn’t mean I’m always right – which is why reasonableness is so important. Everyone is biased, and it’s virtually impossible to not impose your belief, in some form, while sharing. But if the person is deliberately manipulating facts, or omitting information, then they are an untrustworthy source (here’s looking at you, Fox).

Support

Basically, this comes down to whether or not you can find “support” for the claims made. In anything professional, like an essay or journal article, references are essential. However, information can come from popular media sites, or from TV shows/movies, that might require YOU to do some work. I know that conservatives, in particular, seem to detest this as they seem to believe that the other person needs to do all the work, but that’s not how you actually learn. You learn by taking the information and researching it yourself. If you refuse to do this, which is an important part of the process, you will never truly progress in your own education. Out of everything here, I honestly believe this is the most important. If you are unwilling to research things on your own, and instead demand someone else to do the work for you, you have no interest in learning or understanding a different position. You are looking for confirmation bias.

So do us all a favour in 2019, use your mouse, and perform a reverse Google image search. Or start using Snopes.

Those tweets. Omg those fucking tweets. How do people think that? They think our periods are us … peeing blood? The education system has failed a majority of cis men when it comes to biology istg.

I hate the idea of ordinary people and people in power still not understanding why pads and tampons should be free products for anyone who has a period. It’s something that people live with from the ages of about 11 – late 40s or 50s. I can’t believe that I have to pay to control something I have no control over for over 40 years of my life. I got my period at 11. If I live to 80 and start menopause at the average age of 50, I’m living half of my life paying to control a biological process?? In so many places condoms are free (and so they should be) so why can’t pads and tampons also be free? Not to mention the people who have periods while in prison or living with homelessness — so many of them can’t get access to pads and tampons and its absolutely disgraceful.

Thanks for writing this post, I think we all need to vent about the unfairness of this.

I CANNOT AGREE MORE! And you’re right – it’s a bloody disgrace, especially for women in poverty and prisons. NO ONE should have to suffer through a period and bleeding through every item they own. You’re right – it should be free, especially in schools and toilets and stuff. Anywhere where condoms are freely given, so should pads and tampons.

Reblogged this on bookmarkchronicles and commented:
As I’ve said before, if a conversation about periods “grosses you out” you need to grow the fuck up. You also probably need to read this more than anyone.

Yeah, the education system has failed cis men and women in America, too. Then again, when you have a bunch of religious prudes who believe in abstinence only, and kids who can’t ask questions about their own body without being interrogated to death, embarrassed, or dismissed, then yeah, it’s a recipe for stupidity.

Men in this country only seem to learn about women’s anatomy through porn, older brothers, or locker-room bragging. And women are taught even less, because they may end up enjoying their bodies and sex (gasp!). While women are trying to control a natural flow that can stretch for 40 years, religion’s trying to control natural acts that have been around long before religion and will stick around long after.

Religious upbringings suck–mine trained me to never ask questions because my parents might get seizures…or would laugh at the question. Yeah, all I learned (what little there was) came from my best friend. Honestly, I thought “oral sex” meant “French kissing’ til I was 22, and there were 12 year old girls caught giving boys BJs in the bathrooms at school at the same time, so these preteens already knew more than I did about sex.

Gah, the stupidity’s making my head hurt. If that guy ever had a girlfriend, I’d like to meet her just to learn more…