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Sue Sylvester Quotes

Will: Wait, wait, so you're not firing us?Sue: Not if you win a national championship, I'm not. However, if you do fail to win at nationals, I will fire you and you'll be forced to build creepy relationships with teenagers on your own time.

[to Blaine] Well, I hope you're ready for some form-fitting polyester, gay Clark Kent from season one of Smallville. Because it looks like you're going to be the bottom of my Cheerios pyramid after all.

Today is the day we honor St. Valentine, a man publicly beheaded for defying his government, by exchanging candies and chocolates to nonsensically render the objects of our affection more fat and less attractive.

Emma: Um, Sue, I feel really scared. I feel really overwhelmed. I feel like I can't think straight. I'm just really, really worried that this isn't going to work.Sue: Well, of course it isn't going to work. You're a weird bird lady with a hollow pelvis and OCD. And Will Schuester is a weepy man-child whose greatest joy in life is singing with children. And his best friend? 19.

[to Santana] What is with you glee club ex-pats? Don't you have jobs. You have to have some source of income so you can pay the staff of scientists who service your teleporters that you all clearly on since you're constantly showing up here.