This blog is not necessarily about having a bad day, or about Crohn's...so in hindsight, the title may be slightly misleading.
Sarcastic ramblings from an "attorney" with self-diagnosed Tourette’s Syndrome. I in no way warrant or represent that these words or drawings will entertain you, make you think, or change your life. The possibility of mild seizures, decreased brain activity, and eye-rolling may occur.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Reality Update

Update:

Since I have been in such a blah funk due to Crazy attempting to suck away my life force, I decided that we needed a good pick-me up!

For all you Harry Potter fans, Crazy is equivalent to a Dementor, as seen above. Dementors actually do suck the life force out of people. And, interestingly,this picture is actually slightly more accurate than the last one of Crazy.

I am also still sick. Thanks to my self-diagnosed hypochondria, I have narrowed the most realistic diagnosis to: whooping cough, chronic sinusitis, chronic upper respiratory infection, life-threatening pneumonia, all of the above, or....it's just taking a while for the antibiotics to work and get rid of this sinus infection/upper respiratory infection.

This is my immune system/sponge coughing. Do you love that I can do angles now? Yeah...me too.

Regardless, I have decided I should start wearing those medical alert braces. I blame my hypochondria on two things: 1) my mom, and 2) the internet. I made the mistake of telling my parents that I wasn't feeling well this week (after being sick for a month), and I get hourly texts and emails because they naturally assume that if I haven't called them in 5 minutes that I am lying dead somewhere in a hospital. This might be partly because as a kid I used to joke that I got into car accidents all the time to try to scare them into thinking the little things I did weren't that bad...this might have backfired. Still, the good thing is I blame them, not me.

The internet is a horrible source of information. Thanks so much Al Gore. All I have to do is type in something like: "I have a cough, could I be dying?" or "serious deadly disease with sinus problems".... and the internet tells me that all my fears are justified!! The first article was called "Cough could be a sign of serious diseases". Oh great, I have multiple serious diseases. I knew it!!

I have now realized that this post is not really "fun" so instead of re-writing it...I'm just going to re-title it from the original title of "Friday Fun-Day" to Reality Update...as that is what this is. It's real life. And an update. Was that as dramatic as it sounded when I pounded the keys? Real life!!!! Yeah, now it's real.

Okay, here's a little something to lighten it up at the end.

Bffs forever.

I have been saving this picture for when it was really needed. In a dark dark time, this picture is the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean it's a unicorn and a butterfly resting on it's freakin' nose. This can only bring beauty, love, and innocence into this world. If I am the unicorn, you are all my butterfly. Wow...I can't believe I said that. This is better than a hallmark card; I'm leaving it in.