Ray of light in a hospital

I associate hospitals with pain, suffering, helplessness, loneliness and neglect. So i always tried my best to avoid going to one especially visiting sick patients.

The hospital has numerous amount of horrors i won’t deny that, it’s one of the main reasons why i am skeptical of going to one, another being the fear of blood and wounds. But it has also it’s share of hope, cure and an opportunity to extend a helping hand.

I hate seeing people in pain especially the helpless, it makes me hopeless. It takes away my power to mend things, to somehow make things okay. I am a junkie for control, so to not be in position to take the pain away denies me control.

After spending more than 24 hours in a hospital though, taking care of people i have never seen or might not see again,people who are different to me in every possible way society made, has helped me let go of my own fear of pain and also took the feeling of hopelessness. It made me powerful and at the same time gave me hope for a better me, a better world.

It’s truly saidnumbing one emotion numbs all the other emotions. You cannot numb the negative hoping to feel the positive. In fear of the pain i would cause myself when i saw the pain in others i denied myself the joy i would receive by helping and caring for the ones i could.