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It is only in recent years that I have been visited by the black dog. I cannot remember it ever happening before about five years ago. I got very depressed at that time and wouldn’t go out or do anything. Counselling helped and I know how to deal with it. But recently it has happened more often and I am trying to find out why this is.

Up until about five or six years ago I was still very active and ran workshops and groups for various subjects. I have run a family history group for a very long time and that enabled me to meet others with similar interests. I also ran groups where we learned about colour, the tarot, numerology and other similar things.

Today I am much less mobile and have to use public transport to get anywhere and I do find this hard as buses never connect properly and you spend a lot of time waiting at bus stops. Every few months the bus companies change the timetables and this makes it even worse and also confusing. I do have projects on the go, for example, I am working with a group of other volunteers on a project with the local museum. I also have my own projects on family and local history to work on and possibly may start to run a family history group here where I live.

So plenty to do and a pond close by where I can walk every day at least once. But the black dog has been hanging around for some days now and visited me in a heavy manner the last few days. I do find it hard to live in confined spaces and I have heard others say they feel they are living in a cage and I suppose that is what it feels like at times. I like to feel space around me and lots of light and I have not had that anywhere I have lived in the last few years. That kind of home is hard to find. My mother used to tell me I should live in a field and I think maybe she was right!

But I am dealing with the black dog by making myself go out up to the pond and walk along the paths. I had company this morning, a local dog owner who has become a friend so that should make it easier now. If you get visits from the black dog, how do you deal with them?

As I now live in what is called a retirement village for the over 55’s I though I would write down my thoughts on this kind of living. This particular village is a complex of one and two bedroom flats. There are two annexes as well as the main building and I believe something like 285 flats in all. That is a large number and could mean around 400 people live in this complex. There is a shop open in the mornings for a couple of hours, a coffee bar open in the mornings for breakfast and a bar open in the evenings. These are run by people who live here. There is also a hairdressers, a charity shop, a games room, a computer suite, a laundry, as well as a small library. The corridors are wide and there are plenty of seats to sit on if you get tired walking somewhere. There are also two atriums where you can sit amongst the plants in comfort and entertain your friends. In the evenings and some afternoons there are quizzes, knit and natter groups, bingo and entertainment at the weekend. Various business people bring stalls at regular intervals so you can buy clothes, jewellery, handbags etc.

This means that you don’t actually have to leave the building at all and I suspect there are some that don’t. Does everyone get on together? Well, like any village there will always be those who complain about others and those who do not like where they live but in general everyone seems friendly.You can stay in your flat all day if you wish or you can go out on the bus to shop elsewhere and you can go for a walk in the small country park a few minutes walk away.

There are several thoughts that have crossed my mind about this kind of living. One is that it could be very easy to do nothing else except what is provided here. Would that make you an introverted person or perhaps dependent on what is provided here? Is this a good thing or not? For me it is fine as long as I can get out in the country park and to other places on the bus. I do wonder if my feelings will change if my mobility goes completely. Is it good to have people of this age range living together? If some residents have children and grandchildren and they visit then that keeps the family ties and the generations mingle together. I am lucky that I have found a few people here who also like the walk up to the pond and that is good. It is early days yet so more friends could be made in the future.

What are your thoughts on this type of housing complex for the over 55’s? Would you live in one when you get older? Are there better ways of living for the older person?

Many things that happen have repercussions most of which we don’t like or even expect. This last couple of weeks have brought about a large amount of repercussions after the tower block fire. I think that last week I said that misdoings were coming to light much sooner than before and that those who did the misdeeds would have to face up to what they had done.

The repercussions from the fire have shown how much our government and local councils really cared about us. They allowed buildings to be erected without the proper regulations to protect us. I generally keep politics out of my blog but this is enormous and has to be faced. Have you thought how people must feel if they live in a tower block or stay in a hotel or work in a hospital that does not have proper fire safety regulations adhered to during the building process and afterwards?

Any fire is traumatic when unexpected and this was a blaze not just a small fire. It has brought up anger as well as grief in those involved and it also is bringing up grief and anger which has been unresolved in others. But it is bringing to light the facts about the buildings too. Many people are scared to still be living in tower blocks in case there is a fire. It is going to take a long time to make people feel secure in their homes but it will also bring up many other unanswered questions about cuts to services and other things such as our health service.

Maybe it is awakening people to the fact that there are other ways of living where there is an equality and fairness in all dealings After such an event the local community come together to help each other but we should be helping each other all the time. How many more traumatic events do we need to wake everyone up to the fact that there is a better way to live?

We all managed during World War II and housing was found or built soon after the end of the war. What has changed in the last sixty years that we cannot find the way to deal with these events?

It is over twenty years since I was gifted with Reiki but in the last few years I have almost forgotten about it. I have been busy with other things during the last few years mainly writing my blogs and books. But one day last week I was sitting reflecting on those years when I felt a surge of energy and a feeling that I must come back to Reiki. Talking about this to others I discovered that many of them were also thinking of doing the same whether it was with Reiki or some other form of natural therapy.

I have felt that people are starting to wake up to see that there can be a different world out there. We don’t have to eat processed food, we can grow our own or buy organic food. I know it is generally more expensive but what does your health mean to you? Some foods can be grown in the smallest garden if you make the effort.

I have a problem with most allopathic medicines so have to rely on natural ones and I soon discovered which work for me and which don’t. Every one of us is unique, none of us have the same chemical or physical make-up and we need to bear that in mind when choosing foods and medicines. It is the same with certain foods, which make my illness worse not better so you soon learn to avoid them.

Perhaps it is time we took responsibility for our own bodies and lives and stopped listening to others who try to tell us what to do, what to eat and what to wear. Take time to reflect on your life style. Can you find things that you can change to make your life better? Can you grow some food on your window sill if you don’t have a garden? Can you walk or ride a bike to work instead of using the car? Can you get out into nature and walk through the woods or on the hills? There is so much you can do to lead a better life. Think about it and change what you can change. One must be the change one wishes to see in the world.

Over the years I have read an amazing number of books but some resonate more than others. I remember reading the Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing some twenty years after it was written.It had a big impact on me but what I remember most now is the ending where people lived in gated enclaves and gangs roamed the streets. I have since read all of Doris’s books. The second book to make a big impact was Armageddon’s Children by Terry Brooks. From what I remember the book was set in the year 2060 or 2070 and it showed a derelict planet, ruined by nuclear and other wars and some survivors living in high protected buildings and children hiding in ruins and scavenging for food.

I try to remember that these two books are fiction but the scenarios are nevertheless quite possible. I look at the world around me in towns and other places and see gated enclaves with huge steel security gates. I see small gangs on the streets threatening and bullying others There has not yet been a nuclear war but it gets ever closer as countries fight with each other, mainly over land and religion.

I play games on my computer but avoid those that have any kind of warfare. But I do know people who play these games and some of them seem to feel that the land in the game is the real land. I have often thought about our planet and wondered if this is real or are we living like puppets in a reality controlled by others. Scientists have proved that there are other realities so how do we find them and go to live in them if they are better than what we have now. Is what we see around us the real reality? Or is it a fantasy land we dwell in controlled by others? If this is our reality then how can we change it to make it better? How can we work to stop terror attacks? How can we help people to see that getting drunk and using drugs is not the way? I could go on for much longer here but I think I have said enough to provoke you into thinking about our world I’d love to read your comments on this.

It has been a strange week, interesting in many ways and hard work in others. I have started to move boxes into my new home and that has made things easier in some ways and harder in others. So this week has been a mixture of good things and bad things if you like. It was sad to say good-bye to a group of people I have been working with on family history but we will keep in touch. Maybe there is a new group around the corner once I have moved.

The events in Manchester have coloured all our lives especially as we are not that far away where I live and many people that I know go regularly to there. But fear is not the way forward and that is what our current government are trying to do, make us afraid and take away our liberty whatever they do or say. It is a well-known way of controlling the masses. But the way in which people work together after such a tragedy is always for the better. This is how it worked during the war years. People pulled together and shared worries and gave help to all who needed it. But we should not need attacks such as that this week in order to work together or help each other.It is something that should be an everyday part of our lives. But I am still amazed at the racist outpouring that I heard from some I thought were better than that.

On a good note, I have taken some of my blog posts over the last couple of years or so and made them into a book. Many people don’t want to scroll back and read previous posts so a book is easier for them. I have titled it ‘Words from the Heart’, because that is what these words are. They come from my heart and often from deep down. There is space after each one for you to write in your own thoughts. I will post a photo of the cover here at the end. It can be obtained via my web site (www.cerianwen.co.uk) or direct from lulu.com

The hot weather of recent days and the sunshine have brought the rose tree in my back yard into bloom. It is more like a wild rose but it does have a scent and together with the scent of yellow roses in someone else’s garden, it has enhanced the days. Nature is a wonderful thing.

My final random thought is this, peace and love will prevail if we allow it. Send out those thoughts into the world and love yourself too. Set an example for others and don’t let fear in or hate.

I have got lots of ideas in my head about what to write about this week but where to start? One of the main things that got to me this week was the attitude of those who don’t vote because they say whatever happens won’t affect them. One local seat was lost by fifty votes and I wonder how much difference it would have made if those who did not vote had actually gone and voted. Many years ago only men who owned property could vote and then it became all men as long as they were employed. Eventually women were able to vote as well. We owe it to these ancestors to use our right to vote which they fought for.

Another thing that got to me this week is how brainwashed a lot of people are. They seem to think that what they read in the papers and hear on the television or radio is the truth. They are not able to discern fact from fiction. Our local paper had a wraparound cover the other day paid for by the Tory party. I found it rather offensive but then the newspaper is owned by a large firm who will do anything to get more money. The money that paid for this cover in many other newspapers too, could have gone towards our health service and helped many people.

I try to keep politics out of my writing but I want to see a fairer world where children do not go hungry, where education is good and free and where our health service is available to everyone. We should not be seeing homeless people on the streets or people having to use food banks. As a population we should be moving forward and looking towards a better, fairer future, not moving backwards to what life was like in the Victorian age and before. What went wrong I often ask myself. Where did we become complacent about our government and when did we stop believing that they had our interests at heart? How can we help others to learn to discern truth from lies and find out the best way to get things changed? I’m not sure it will happen in my lifetime but I hope it happens soon so our children and grandchildren have a decent future to look forward to.