“Dumb Ass Robbing Bank” pleads no contest to … robbing bank

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A San Mateo bank-robbery suspect who wrote “Dumb Ass Robbing Bank” on a demand note has pleaded no contest in the case, authorities said Thursday.

Paul Stoliker, 42, faces up to 14 years in prison after entering his pleas Wednesday to robbery and second-degree burglary in San Mateo County Superior Court.

At about 4:40 p.m. Dec. 14, Stoliker walked into the U.S. Bank on Second Avenue in downtown San Mateo, approached a teller and asked if there was an urgent care center nearby.

The teller told him that Mills Health Center was just down the street “and asked the robber whether he was OK,” FBI Special Agent Adrienne Sparrow wrote in an affidavit filed in U.S. District Court in San Francisco. Stoliker was initially charged in federal court, but the case was dismissed after San Mateo prosecutors took up the case.

The man said everything was fine before showing the teller a piece of paper that said, “I’m unarmed,” the affidavit said. He left with $1,330 in cash, but not before telling her, “I’m sorry I had to do this to you,” according to Sparrow.

A half-hour later, Stoliker walked into the Chase Bank on South El Camino Real several miles away, authorities said. Again, the man asked the teller if he knew “where the closest place to obtain medical care was,” Sparrow wrote.

The teller gave the man directions, whereupon he unfolded a demand note. The robber left with $3,230 in cash, the FBI said.

After learning that the robber had been seeking medical care, San Mateo police Sgt. Ryan Monaghan asked dispatchers to contact nearby urgent care facilities, telling them to be on the lookout. Sure enough, a staff member at Immediate Care on North El Camino Real told police that a man fitting the robber’s description was there and had asked whether he could obtain a prescription drug like Oxycontin or Vicodin, the FBI said.

“He stated that he was from Los Angeles and had lost his prescription,” Sparrow wrote. “He later asked for methadone and was informed that he would need to go to the hospital in order to obtain that.”

Officers identified the man as Stoliker, searched him and found money and a Chase Bank withdrawal slip with the date “12/14/10″ and the words “Dumb Ass Robbing Bank” written on it, the affidavit said.