Many of us need a jump-start in our cold heart. My suggestion: Let go of judgments.

“One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier,” wrote Leo Babauta, “is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.” Yesterday we highlighted Leo’s insightful post Letting Go of Judging People.

I judge others most often when I forget how much I’ve grown and matured.

Scripture teaches, “Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.” 1

How to Let Go of Judging

As Leo wrote, “First be aware that you’re doing it, and see it as a red flag. It’s not horrible to judge, but it’s a good sign that other things are going on that are harming you and others.”

“This takes practice. But there are symptoms that tell you you’re judging — if you feel angry or frustrated or dismissive of someone. If you’re complaining about someone, or gossiping about them. These are signs you’re judging. Recognize what’s going on.”

After you notice the red flag, pause and be curious. Don’t get mad at yourself, but be curious: * Why are you judging? * What expectations do you have that are unrealistic? * What can you guess about what the other person is really going through? * What about the other person can you appreciate? * Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, what’s it like? * Can you imagine a time when you were going through something similar?

“Once you’ve done that, ask yourself: How can you help? What does this person need? Sometimes they just need someone to listen, someone to be a friend, someone to not judge, someone to accept them. Sometimes they need more — advice, a guide, a hug.”

I have found it helps to step back and remember that: – Change takes time. Be patient with myself and others – I am only responsible for my own actions – When I take responsibility for my own mistakes it humbles me – God and supportive people can help all of us to change

Don’t judge one another. You may not see their broken heart. But, do not hide your concerns for them. Radical love takes chances.

“But you can’t help them” Leo wrote, “from a place of judgment. Only when you let go of the judgment that has arisen, and come to a place of acceptance and curiosity and empathy, can you really help. And incidentally, you’ll be a lot happier in the process.”

Give yourself freedom to see people as individuals. Guard yourself from judgments and comparisons. They’ll hurt both of you! Look within in see someone’s unique gifts and talents; we all have them. Remember that everyone is lovable, capable and worthwhile.