From the moment we're born, we are subjected to the opinions and labels of the people around us…

“OH! What a beautiful baby girl!”, “I will name her Jasmine because it's MY favorite smell.”, “She WILL go to college.”

Now, while I'm sure we can all agree these are pretty innocent and common examples of how we are labeled without our input, but it just goes to show how quickly it begins upon our entering the world. We may think we come as a blank slate, but does anyone know any parents that don't already have some sort of life plan mapped out they hope their kid will follow?

And while I'm sure we can all agree it's usually with good intentions and comes from ma good place, a lot of the time, it does not. And the weight of the baggage that can add to a person's incarnation is quite heavy. Because if we already already have it in our minds that because our little girl is just “so cute” and because perhaps Mom always wanted to model, but didn't…she will now live vicariously through the child and force her will and own un-lived and unexpressed desires onto her children, and hopefully she will at least ask them if they even want to.

But many parents don't and we see this in the little boy that feels not good enough because his dad was a quarterback all-star for his high school, and expect the same from his boy. Dad sees this as a measure of success and therefore pushes the boy in the same direction so he can also be “successful”. But what IS success? The amount of money in your bank account? The number of likes on your Facebook feed? Or perhaps it goes a bit deeper and is more authentically represented in how happy and aligned someone is living their life.

To me, the true measure of success has always been a genuine smile. If you are truly happy with the life you've created for yourself, no matter WHAT it looks like, then in my humble opinion you've obtained the ultimate success in life. Because while some of the richest people can be secretly depressed and feel alone and isolated as they realize money doesn't fill the emptiness inside, and while some of the poorest people can be outwardly joyous and feel connected and alive as they realize happiness is a choice, and that it is often the love you are surrounded by, not always the money in your bank account that gets you through the hardest times.

I think deep down, we all kind of know this innately. I believe to BE human, no matter where you land on the “kindness” scale in regards to what type of energy you choose to put out to the world, each and every one of us is ingrained with a sense of humanity and connectedness. Even those who apparently have gone off the deep end, or appear so evil, distant, and/or inhumane, to be human, it simply comes with the turf…some of us have just had the switch turned off temporarily due to trauma, etc. Some choose to incarnate that way, in order to learn the lessons they were meant to. My point is, we are not here to judge ANYONE, no matter what they do.

I'm not justifying wrong-doings and I'm not supporting negativity or hate. What I'm doing is simply revealing the honest expression of balance we all came here to find. And it would be impossible without the sprinkling of different human personalities; each at a different level of emotional quotients in relation to experience and reactions. We are all literally unique in that regard, and it's why while nothing truly is original as all comes the “the Aether” (I'll save that for another article…), rest assured we are all UNIQUE. No one has ever had, has or will ever have the same mixture of DNA, memories, choices, experiences, traits, etc. that we do. And therefore, even if there are a million other people doing exactly what you are, NO ONE can do it exactly the way you do it.

This is why it's so important to learn who we truly are. What WE truly love to do in life and what brings us joy, regardless of what that looks like to ANYONE ELSE. When we drop the expectations of others, only then are free to truly be who we are. And sadly, many adults never even discover who they really are until well into old age; and then it becomes a fast-down hill ride into regret town.

If we keep our best hopes and dreams in our hearts for our children and for everyone we love, but still allow them the creative space to bring their own energy and needs into the pictures, then we begin to see children growing up into adults who actually know who they are, and are actually okay with it!

It's when we express our own need for validation through others that our kids will see themselves as not good enough. If they see us doubt ourselves, knowing they are a part of you, they will, of course, begin to take on that same energy. If we instead expressed our confidence in a way that creates space for everyone else to do the same, we instead show our kids that it's okay to be who we are and it's okay to let others find out who they are for themselves.

I think while we often think we are coming from a good place, we place such high expectations on the people we love and it's time we just step back and remember that love is not about itself. It's about expansion. And by that I mean, the release of anything tight, constricting, barring, or in the way of growth so to speak. Love is free-flowing and has no intentions other than its own self-expression. Consider it like the fractal of emotions, in a state of permanent authenticity.

And when we begin to see ourselves in the same way, the love that we ALL are when we remove the labels, judgments, and expectations, we all ourselves to enter that same state where learning who we are ceases and we are finally free to just…BE.

“We are constantly invited to be who we are.” – Henry David Thoreau

Tamara Rant is a Co-Editor/Writer for CLN as well as a Licensed Reiki Master, heart-centered Graphic Designer and a progressive voice in social media activism & awareness. She is an avid lover of all things Quantum Physics and Spirituality. Connect with Tamara by visiting Prana Paws/Healing Hearts Reiki or go to RantDesignMedia.com

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