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Grade 7 & 8 students have an intriguing talent for nicknames. Some of them can even be published on a blog like this.

They’ve come up with a new nickname for me. I was able to extract from them exactly why this particular name was chosen. I’ll get to that.

I should tell you I know next to nothing about sports. What I do know is slightly outdated. When I happen to catch a ball game I wonder when Dave Stieb will be pitching. Or when Rusty Staub will be up to bat.

With hockey games I’m even more confused. Where are Phil and Tony (Esposito)? Why isn’t Yvan Cournoyer out there? And how about Stan or Jacques or Ken or … Is Pittsburgh still in the expansion league?

Other sports, such as basketball or football I know nothing about. (Well, except the time a football player broke his leg OUCH. I was in university and my roommate got a recording of the incident and played it over and over and OVER.

Well you get the point. I probably don’t need to add, but I will, that I play sports even less than I know about them. (I hereby acknowledge the previous sentence is painful to all who appreciate goodly English).

As to why I was given this particular nickname, apparently it is because of my latest haircut. This is what I look like these days:

Me. Now.

Well that probably gives it away, but I’ll tell you the nickname anyway, for those who like to check their answers: Michael Jordan.