THE ARCANE ARCHIVE

Sex With Older Women

To: soc.sexuality.general
From: boboroshi@satanservice.org (nagasiva)
Subject: Sex With Older Women
Date: 7 Jun 2001 09:52:31 -0700
50010606 VIom! 666 Day! Hail Satan!
"Gilles L'Herault" :
> I am 21 years old now and i have had a very unsatifactory sex
> life with 4 partners. I have this overwhelming attraction to
> older womens, not grammas but womens in their 30's.
some women in their 30s *are* grandmas!
> Right now, i have this great women at work and she is 34
> and we quickly became good friends. As a matter of fact,
> i do find her very attractive and.... ...i don't know
> if i should proceed any further.
difficult to offer advice on that from this distance.
> To make a short story short, i am a desperate men stuck in
> a 21 year old body longing for a love and sex life that a
> 30 year would have. I think it all goes back to my first
> time having sex.... I unfotunatly never had such a
> relationship everafter and have been searching for it eversince.
>
> If anybody in this newsgroup have any ideas, thoughts or
> comments for me i would gladly take them.
there were good ones offered already but I wished to add
the following:
a) people have this uncanny ability to seek out
relationships with those who resemble our
parents (women with father-figures, men with
mother-figures), and this is probably at times
accentuated by becoming involved with partners
who are older; this needn't present a problem,
but when I hear "overwhelming attraction" then
I begin to wonder if that may relate to some
kind of parental issue; something to consider.
b) one of the important factors to consider,
especially as a heterosexual male involved with
an older woman is her biological and life stage
of development as compared with your own; if
you are interested in something more than a
fling, is she? or is she feeling more like
settling down? for older men/women, is she
past the age of childbearing? this may be to
both your advantage! is she experiencing the
onset or throes of menopause? if so, you both
may wish to consult information on what to
expect and how to deal with it; is she more
than likely stabilized in her residence and
job whereas you may want to venture out and
see the world? or are you wanting to settle
down and she is going through some kind of
'middle-age crisis' and breaking with her past?
communication about all these things would
seem to be the most important resolution.
c) as has been mentioned, older age does not equal
to more experience, but in my life it has often
been the case, especially since the women to
whom I've been drawn were highly sexual and
prone to pre-marital sexual adventurism so as
to minimize surprise incompatibilities with
their partners.
d) I have had more than one sexual encounter with
women older than I; my present wife is 14 years
older than I (she posts here too! :>); I cannot
recommend highly enough the value of following
your instincts and preferences and ignoring any
kind of social conventions which dictate to you
that there is some kind of 'problem' with great
differences of age between lovers; to the contrary,
I find that I have much more to learn from my wife
due to our age differential, benefit immensely from
her experience and wisdom, and that I am able more
easily to enter into a kind of maturity which
I didn't often feel with younger lovers who
'acted their age' and yet this was somehow quite
different than I felt (having often felt that my
relative emotional and intellectual equals were
far older than I).
e) there is something extremely valuable about
the ability to ignore age, appearance, and
social station, getting beyond and totally
leaving behind any predilections I may have
had about the person with whom I am intimate.
this is something I relate to my tantric path.
I expect that this would be as valuable about
someone much younger as older, though as the
social conventions I notice around me and in
popular media seem to favour younger images
as 'vital and sexy', the elder generation
would seem to be the more difficult to accept
as 'vital and sexy' for those interested in
mystical development (thus an older tantrika
partner is likely to lead to a far more
liberating and meaningful relationship for
the interested neo-tantric because she may
become the Gatekeeper to the Wisdom Yoni.
om nama kaliya
nagasiva

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