Number 10: Hope you don't miss breathing
These form-fitting garments are intended to force all that extra flab dudes pack around into a slim, trim package. But another package might not feel too swell as a result.

Number 9: Take that, Transformers!
This "Scientific Converta-Stand" not only could be converted into a bed, chair or sofa, but it also stimulated circulation and reduced leg swelling -- the latter probably caused by being accidentally folded up inside it.

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Number 8: Zip it good
"Bike garage"? That's one way of describing it. Another is "A big plastic bag."

Number 7: A conversation piece, or a conversation stopper?
Imagine your neighbor dropping by for a chat and suddenly exclaiming, "You've got a penis tree!" And they grew big, too -- one to two feet, according to the ad. Size matters!

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Number 6: I love the smell of napalm in the morning....
Nowadays, bug bombs like this one are used by professionals who don hazmat suits and enclose the entire home so that dangerous chemicals don't leak out into the surrounding area. But precautions were for pansies back then. Bombs away, and worry about permanent health damage and birth defects later.

Number 5: Hot stuff
A fifteen-foot expandable ladder that can support 1,000 pounds? Fat chance.

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Number 4: The eyes have it
Looking into powerful magnifying mirrors from millimeters away wouldn't be disturbing, would it? Probably not, if you were planning to perform laser surgery on yourself....

Number 3: They've got me surrounded!
Then again, this alleged safety device might be even more disquieting. Distracted driving, 1950s-style -- by turning your ride into a hall of mirrors.

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Number 2: Pin 'em
What could be more fashionable than a magnetic bracelet festooned with bobby pins? Anything else. Absolutely anything.

Number 1: Hubba-hubba
Sexiest undies ever? Maybe during the Eisenhower administration, but we doubt it, especially since these garments are one-size-fits-all. That's a stretch.