Perhaps what I’ve been taught (or reminded of) most in recent weeks is that this world of ours can be just as terrifying as it is beautiful, and that empathy, kindness, and love are traits that we all, as humans, friends, family members, partners, and strangers, need to cling to and embody in our daily lives.

My thoughts are with all those affected by the natural disasters that have wreaked havoc across the world in recent months. I wish I could snap my fingers and make the tragedy go away. Unfortunately, no one woke up today and designated me fairy godmother, and so the little I can do is, if I’m lucky, provide a little respite and distraction. And maybe, just maybe, something to smile about.

What This World Of Ours Has Taught Me Recently

1. It’s really embarrassing when your first thought upon seeing Harry Potter-branded packaged cake mix isn’t “What a horrible capitalist co-optation of a beloved story! Why I oughta!” but “Oh no! I don’t know what a Lenticular is! I have been shamed!”

2. If something labelled “pudding” reminds you less of dessert than it does the La Brea Tar Pits, which gave you nightmares as a kid, you probably shouldn’t eat it.

Because if you do eat it, you’ll probably have nightmares, at age 23, about sinking into an abyss of evil black pudding.

3. You know you’ve found the kindest pilot-man in history when he remembers an offhand comment you made about almond butter months and months ago, and then sends you a jar of your favourite kind from halfway across the world, just because.

7. Under no conditions should you be tempted to buy fat-free soy milk because it’s ridiculously cheap. You will soon discover that the reason fat-free soy milk is ridiculously cheap is because it’s pretty much just water. Water that looks and tastes like what goes down the drain after you’ve washed and conditioned your hair in the bathtub.

8. The world is a less scary place when you face it with a Cabbage Patch doll by your side.

Oh, I love the matching outfits! And that almond butter looks fab. The notion of fat free soy milk is more than mildly disgusting and I think your description is perhaps the best result that could possibly be expected. I didn’t know what a lenticular was either- but then my HP knowledge is much less than vast. And yes there have been way too many natural disasters this year. Thank you for the distraction.

To be honest, I’ve been googling and I’m still not sure! It seems to be something to do with trading cards, but you could also be right! Plus, there’s nothing wrong with being a 29-year-old Harry Potter fan. In fact, there’s everything right with that 😀

ps. have i told you lately that you have the most adorable smile in the world? it’s one of my absolute faves. the picture of little-you reminded me of it, but it’s just as good today as it was back then 😀
SO MAKE SURE YOU USE IT OFTEN. OR MY MAN-BEANS POWERED BICEPS WILL BE HAVING A WORD WITH YOU.

*laughs* Lizzi, I originally wrote “the awe-inspiringly manly Lizzi” but then I worried that other people wouldn’t understand the nature of our friendship (and you) and would think I was insulting you, so I changed it! 😛

Indeed, a lot has been happening around the world lately. How I wish everyone had a cabbage patch doll. I love the last picture of you carrying the cabbage patch doll – the beauty of a child’s innocent smile. Oh, lucky you too! I’ve been wanting to try barney butter. Is it any good?

Well E and I pondered the lenticular and didn’t come up with an answer – but I can tell you that almond butter, chocolate and cabbage patch doll sounds like a great recipe for happiness! And what are man beans!!!

Johanna, Lizzi and I actually did buy and eat these MAN BEANS (capitalisation is necessary). They were “steakhouse flavoured”, but I honestly couldn’t really tell much difference from normal baked beans!

No Harry Potter pudding or Lenticulars over here in the U.S., although the Wikipedia page — “Examples of lenticular printing include prizes given in Cracker Jack snack boxes that showed flip and animation effects such as winking eyes, and modern advertising graphics that change their message depending on the viewing angle” — assures me that it is not wizarding-related. Phew!

As for La Brea tar pits, every time I hear that, I think of a The Far Side comic. “And down they went: Bob and Francine — two more victims of the La Brea Carpets.” And now I’m gonna re-read my The Far Side books.

Yes, I read that too, and became quite confused. I think it’s just a trading card/sticker book-related gimmick or something?! Next time I shan’t google myself, but shall trust in you to research for me 😀

Ah, The Far Side! Thinking of those cartoons has now made me want to re-read Calvin and Hobbes 😛

I saw those Harry Potter cake mixes a couple of weeks back. I’ve only read 3 of the HP books, many years ago, so I had to guess the remaining plot from the boxes: I think the story is mainly about star-shaped sprinkles.

the pic of you with the cabbage patch…i just cried a tear of joy (or of reminiscing?) b/c i have a little girl now (who doesnt know what cabbage patch dolls are…yet) and I can’t wait to tell her about then…and b/c i remember my own cabb patch dolls and how much i adored them when i was growing up.

What kid wouldn’t feel self-assured with a matching doll in his/her hands? 😛 That said, I remember being terrified in grade four that the world was going to end soon, so clearly dolls don’t fix everything…

I’m jealous . You got a real cabbage patch doll. I had to make do with one that my Mum made. Which should really be considered awesome because it looked darn close to the real thing…but it wasn’t so it sucked.

I loved this post 🙂 Number 3 is so sweet!! Wow. & I am so keen to try Barney Butter in the states. Oh, and I’m sorry, but Caramel and Fleur de Sel?? whaaaaa? How on earth have I never seen this before! Amazing. Oh and lastly, I never had a cabbage patch doll 🙁 Maybe I should buy one now.
Heidi xo

When I went on my Hannah-yay! present quest I should obviously have done some homework first, or at least remembered reviews I’d read instead of employing an ooh-this-looks-pretty-or-kinda-weird technique. Damn you, Fleur de Nil! I hope the other stuff was less insipid!

Also, YOU are super cute, as always, but Cabbage Patch dolls always freaked me out, and still do. I wanted a Baby Alive, that you could feed and it did poos and wees. That’s totally less freaky.

OH CRIMINEY!! Conor, this is where I’ve made a big mistake! I actually didn’t re-read my last review when I wrote this post, so I had completely forgotten that I didn’t much like the chocolate last time. As a result, my whole “as delicious as last time” comes across as sarcastic, when it shouldn’t. OOOPS. I really enjoyed the chocolate this time around, I promise! And because I did enjoy it, I didn’t bother to double check my earlier review because I thought I liked it then too… I’m so embarrassed right now. Rest assured, it was tasty and gobbled up quicksmart!

Oh, I completely understand your desire for a Baby Alive (although the pooping doll I wanted was a Baby Born). But the Cabbage Patch Doll was awesome – I went to a Cabbage Patch Doll shop in America where a REAL DOCTOR let me listen to my doll’s heartbeat.

Good grief this has spiralled into a series of unfortunate misunderstandings. Any more and we could make a movie out of the story. In the movie we would go for ages and ages in a terrible state of bad misunderstanding, being upset with each other or upset with ourselves until some crucial moment in the story where it all becomes finally clear and we’re friends again and then someone gets married in the final scene and there’s a cute dog walking the rings down the aisle and everyone laughs to each other cutely.

Let’s skip past all that and just get to the bit where I know you weren’t being sarcastic (which I didn’t think in the first place), and am resting assured that you actually did enjoy it this time, and you are not embarrassed any more, and we both have pooping dolls and lashings of chocolate.

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About

Hannah. Writer, editor, firm believer in socks, gin, laughter, buttered toast, cheesecake, and semicolons. Currently back in Canberra after two years living in Canada; heart tingling to see what happens next.