Short essays by Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., the author of TING AND I: A Memoir of Love, Courage and Devotion, published in September 2011 by Outskirts Press (Parker, CO, USA), available from outskirtspress.com/tingandi, Barnes and Noble [bn.com], and Amazon [amazon.com], in paperback or ebook formats. Please visit us at tingandi.com for more information.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

"Lessons" from KIDNAPPED TWICE

NOT FITTING IN

When I decided to move here to
Alan’s families’ farm, I had no idea what was expected of me. I knew that they
needed my help at the packing house, so I started to work there. I was unaware
of my medical condition, diabetes, but I knew something was wrong. By the time
I got home in the evening, I could hardly walk up the stairs.

I started feeding the wild
ducks every day at the pond. I enjoy watching them. Most of all, I love to watch
the water sparkle from the sun. I would sit out by the pond and enjoy such
moments.

Some of Alan’s family members
could not understand why I was not in the house answering the telephone. This
turned into a real problem. I had lived on my own for many years and did not
feel I had to explain why I did or did not do certain things. It got to the
point that if I came home for lunch, the phone would be ringing when I walked
in the door. All day long when I was at work, the phone never stopped ringing
with family calls. I would have to stop the packing machine in order to answer
their calls, which would back up the table with too many apples, causing
bruising.

The most insulting part of
being on the farm is being expected to explain myself in some form every day. I
would get upset with all of this, but I did not give up my time to enjoy
nature. I loved watching the sparkling lake water when I was a little girl, and
I still love it now.

Alan has not understood why I
would want to spend time outside.

I have not fit in here with
anyone in Alan’s family except his aunt.

I have finally accepted the
fact that I am different from many people. I am not willing to give up what
makes me happy, and I am thankful for the beauty of these moments!

SELF-PROTECTION

As I was sitting by the pond
watching wildlife recently, I realized what I had been doing all my life: I
learned to protect myself; I could not trust anyone else to protect me. That’s
something I can thank my father for teaching me. I haven’t done that great of a
job in my life, but at least I did not expect anyone else to protect me!

I guess it is about time that
I started understanding myself. It has taken way too long.

LESSONS FROM MY PARENTS

What my father taught me:

– Never, never start drinking,
as it will never stop!

– Never, never allow myself to
think anyone would protect me.

– Make sure no one ever abuses
my child!

– Always tell the truth, or
the punishment would be more severe.

My father always told my
brother Todd the same things. Too bad that my father did not live by his own
rules.

What my mother taught me:

– Never, never abandon my
child.

What Ann taught me:

– Always be afraid.

– Always expect the worst.

– Never trust anyone or
anything.

As I get older, and I hope, wiser,
I realize how little my father knew me.

I do know, now, that I am
different from most people…not better, just different.

The deep love that my
co-author, Douglas, found in his life is something I never found in mine. But
my love for my child is a love that I do know. I wish my parents had shown me
that kind of love.

There have been many times
since this memoir-writing journey began that I think of something my co-author
has said to me about his beloved wife, Tina, and it makes me smile. He gets a
glow when he speaks of her, and it is these moments that let me understand what
that deep love is all about.

###

We are nearly done serializing in this blog the memoir Kidnapped Twice, by Mary E. Seaman and myself, which tells of a mature woman's partially successful effort to overcome the abuse she suffered as a child. It can be purchased in paperback or ebook formats from its publisher, Outskirts Press, and from online booksellers like amazon.com and bn.com.

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About Me

Douglas Winslow Cooper, Ph.D., is a freelance writer and retired environmental physicist, author of "Ting and I: A Memoir of Love, Courage and Devotion," published in September 2011 by Outskirts Press (Parker, CO), available on amazon.com. Co-author of "The Shield of Gold" and "Kidnapped Twice," editor of "High Shoes and Bloomers" and of "But...at What Cost," also available through Outskirts Press and Amazon. His email address is douglas@tingandi.com. See also his http://writeyourbookwithme.com and http://managenursingcareathome.com.