HOMOPHOBICS EVERYWHERE were up in arms today when it emerged that "fudge packer" Coronation Street actor Antony Cotton is to go head to head (or is that bum to bum!) with fellow sodomist chat show host Paul O'Grady and TV stalwarts (and serial gang bangers) Richard and Judy.

he will front a new show on ITV1. "The Antony Cotton Fairy Bugger Show", an hour-long show combining celebrity chat, topical humour and hardcore homosexualpornography. It will air at 1700 BST for a five-week run next month.

some gays, pictured this morning.

"I'm delighted to have been given this opportunity, now shut that door!" said the 31-year-old in that infuriatingly stereotypical camp accent first made famous by Windsor Davies in the famous 70s sitcom "He Aint 'Arf Up Me Bum Mum!".

Cotton will continue in his role as gay Falklands veteran Sean Tully, which laughably recently saw him win best actor at the BritishSoap Awards.

"It's going to be gossipy, light-hearted, chatty and irreverent, but most of all fun with lots of hard core man on man bum action." Mr Cotton squealed this morning.