Saturday, 15 September 2007

Builder

I woke in the middle of the night and suddenly everything was clear to me. I couldn’t open my eyes, I was in between sleep, but yet I understood; the past months, the fogginess of my present situation, my tentativeness about this coming trip to Asia.

Tsuyoshi was celebrating his birthday the evening before and of course, most of friends who showed up were fellow architects, a few of them Japanese as well. Talking to them proved beneficial to me. It put me back in focus. We shared a similar view in our analysis of society. They were surprised and interested to hear what a musician had to say. When I told them music wasn’t just a question of nice melody but also had its spatial architecture within which the listener had to find his place, it was like opening a door to wonderland. I felt elated to meet brilliant minds with a sensitive open-mindedness and conscience about the surrounding world.

All this grew in my sleep and reached the final conclusion of this chapter of my life. Architects are builders and visionaries. The time is ripe for me to build. All the troubles that originated from my childhood are now over. Nothing should stop me. My self confidence needs only to express itself more often. I don’t need anyone to take care of me in Asia and introduce me to people. It’s up to me now to find the right people and go to them. It’s all up to me now.

I felt so happy to feel that glow inside. The best is yet to come.

As I was talking to Nicolas and Stéphane this afternoon, it was clear now that the only thing I had to do was to follow my intuition. Now it’s telling me to go to New York. I had seen Beppe who was making a flashlight visit to Paris two days ago and he insisted on my coming to New York. I didn’t find any valid reason to go except this simple impulsion to say yes and just do it.

I suppose I will do it! Next things I do will be to check the flights.