momhood

“My breasts are downward, swollen, and veiny, but they’ve supplied 4,560 meals. My thighs are speckled with cellulite, but they’ve walked 1.8 million steps carrying a toddler or pushing a stroller. My stomach is a big white balloon ready to pop, but my babies lived and thrived in it for 27 months. My arms are twice as thick, but they’ve rocked a newborn to sleep 1,200 times. And that happens to be pretty freaking awesome.”

“It was a neighborhood street, but the darkening sky and numerous curves made me a little nervous. So, I kept my boys close to me. And just like that, the cool air was replaced with hot steam billowing from my ears. He continued to list reasons why raising mama’s boys was a NEGATIVE thing. It was one of those Mama Bear moments you don’t see coming, but hits hard and fast.”

“You wait as I get your siblings ready for the day. You wait as I break up their fights. You wait as I load them into the car, in tears of frustration because you need me, but I need to get them somewhere by a certain time. I don’t get enough chances to take all of you in, to enjoy your coos and smiles. You don’t have all of me.”

“Today, I lost it. Finito. Buh-bye. GONE. I could feel my nerves fraying at the seams and in true me fashion, I cried. This is what no one tells you about. The hard stuff. If a friend shares her truth and says she’s in a funk, don’t tell her your life is sunshine and rainbows. Tell her you’re in the freaking arena with her.”

“Insulin was $1,300 a month. My son left the pharmacy empty-handed. He lasted only 27 days without insurance. I’d been to my fare share of funerals, but nothing prepares you for the death of your child.”

“I had so many friends watching him. It was a safe environment. After many hours at the event, I took a moment to say hi to a friend and chat for a few moments. That’s when it happened. It only takes a moment of distraction for a tragedy to happen.”

“I see you. Scrolling through your phone, measuring yourself to the highlight reel of friends and family. Looking at the other mamas in school drop off and at work wondering how they make it look so easy. Can I be honest with you? It’s an illusion.”

“Is there any part of the year that puts more pressure on us women to be ‘snatched’ than summer? After giving birth, swimsuits fit weird and my belly is CLEARLY visible. My rapidly changing size made me doubt what was appropriate for a ‘bigger woman’ at the pool.”

“There were no I love you’s. I remember her spending a lot of time in bed, flying off the handle easily, expecting a lot out of everyone while she gave the minimum. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was she a drug addict? Or was she just a bad person? I vow to give my children everything my mom could not give me.”

“We’d never want our children to run on empty. Put themselves last. So, what are YOU doing? Life isn’t meant to be a series of checklists and drive-bys. Stop trying to fill up everyone’s cup and take a look at your own. It’s empty, isn’t it? That’s not living, sister – that’s just going through the motions.”