Friday, February 17, 2012

I'm almost 19 weeks and the baby bump is getting more obvious. It can still be hidden with certain clothes, but in general there is a hint of a little presence in my middle.

And of course, people who notice can't help but play the guessing game of what gender it will be. Most people think the baby will be a girl. They say because I'm blooming. Why thank you for that folks! I've only had one who thought it would be a boy. This was on a day when I was too lazy to comb my hair properly.

For the blooming part, I'd say that is partly true if I be objective about myself. I've been dressing up a little more feminine than usual. I do have an explanation for that. In general, I dress casual on regular days. But I made a promise to myself a long time ago that when I get pregnant, I will not be losyang.(But really, the blooming part is an illusion. My face is splotched with rashes at the moment. My tummy seem to be following suit. I sneeze worse than I used to. When I get home, I feel butt ugly. I just try to get over it fast. Hehehe!)

Still, I thought pregnancy was the perfect time to reinvent myself and explore a different side of me. Changes are happening after all. At the same time, no one would really dare to make fun of how I would look. If they do, I'd pretend to burst out crying and blame the hormones. And baby bumps are just absolutely beautiful, so pregnancy is definitely the best time to show off a woman's sparkle! My hair has also grown longer and less rowdy, so I have less bad hair days now. The lip balm that I bought turned out to have some color so it appears that I am wearing light lipstick. Friends who were pregnant before gave me beautiful maternity clothes and my mom just bought me a pair of tops from Bangkok.

So you see, I can't help but feel lovely and dress nicely. There is my stubborn pledge to myself back when I was younger that I have to fulfill plus the support of family and friends who's journeying with me with my pregnancy.

If I be honest with myself, I've always wanted to have a boy. I prefer rough and tumble play and climbing trees and street games to indoor games with dolls and toys. It would be a chance to relive my youth without seeming to be silly. Of course, at the end of the day, it does not really matter. What I pray for the most is to have a healthy child with a happy heart. I hope for a wise mind, a gentle spirit and kind hands.

In a few weeks, there is no need to play a guessing game anybecause more we can know for sure. But maybe, just maybe, I will be a little naughty and keep it a secret and just keep people guessing. What do you think? :P

Sunday, February 12, 2012

I was waiting for my second ultrasound. There were other women in the waiting room, most of them pregnant. It was quiet except for the television set at a low volume and the chatter of the nurses and attendants with incoming patients.

It was another day at the office for most people, but there were several of us feeling quite special that moment. Some of us will be seeing our little babies for the first time. Some for a second or a third or a fourth. Each time is as thrilling as the first. Probably some with a bit of nervousness. But mostly excited.

The world is already more than seven billion people. Yet many women or couples around the world are excited to have one more. That one more that means so much. Some unexpected, some hoped for, all special. Each child a miracle... a gift... a blessing to someone.

It was a beautiful thought. I glanced through most of the women and wished them all safe pregnancies and healthy babies.