This Is Why I Never Confessed To You

I am dying to say a tons of words to you. The observations, assumptions and feelings that came along with it. I make things happen, I do not let a single moment pass by a blur, for we only have moments of life. They are morning fogs that you can see now then vanished and gone forever.

I know I can do it. But I must not. Because I am a girl. I am not a just. However, I am a girl. Regardless of how much I wanted to, I am not allowed to make things to happen. I cannot start the spark that can change everything.

I am a girl who must wait- for you to make the move, to keep the conversation going and perhaps to stay consistent and persistent. This may be the 21st century, many things have evolved. But I am not going along the mainstream.

I am a girl and it’s agonizing to wait. Not to the extent of being needy and pathetic, perhaps the right kind of waiting. There’s a blessing in waiting, I guess it’s you. I want you to desire of me, to think of me. If I rush things, you won’t feel the same about me. And I am not that desperate, so I should wait.

It’s difficult to hold back. I know how to feel, I write what I have inside. I write for people to know, I pray that you’re one of them. I never confessed to you because I am a girl. It’s difficult and sad, sometimes. But yeah, really. I may have written things indirectly, I filtered my words to be suitable for the society.

As much as I keep my feelings, perhaps they won’t grow, I hope they just evaporate like it never did exist.

But please remember that I do not ignore you for the luxury of it, but I just have to.