Roller coaster

Friday, 8 November 2013

Yesterday was such a roller coaster day. In the morning I was feeling all sad and sorry for myself (after reading something) … feeling like with all this exercise I’m doing I hardly ever have time for my friends anymore… pondering therefore whether I’ve become totally selfish and self-absorbed… feeling a bit friendless and blaming myself for it…

As usual I turned to Twitter with:

And look at the replies I got:

Looks like a lot of people do not have a lot of time to hang out with friends. Looks like it’s totally common that social lives of the 30-somethings are not as wild as they were when we were 20. So now I’m hoping that my friends are not actually holding it against me that I don’t catch up with them very often, I’m hoping they’re in the same boat as me and don’t have the time themselves to party (and by that I mean go out for coffee or dinner :) on a regular basis.

Having felt down and then a bit up, the mood took a total nosedive in the late morning when I got some bad news via a friend. It doesn’t affect me directly but it made me hugely think about life and priorities and not taking anything for granted (especially health and fitness). It was good that I had packed my running gear as I needed relief from my heart- and headache…

I dashed out the door at 12 and since I usually do a quick 6km loop during my lunchtime runs, I set off at that pace – it seemed to have been programmed into my legs for that particular route. After 3km at a speed of less than 5 min per km I thought I’d see how long I can keep that pace up. My aim was to do at least 10km but I wasn’t sure how long I can run that fast.

Turns out I ran that fast until the end! 48 minutes and 35 seconds at the 10k mark.

I kept looking at my watch every km to make sure the speed was less than 5 min per km. If it was 5:05 at x.85km I’d sprint until that km was over to get the speed down. That is the great benefit of having a sports watch over tracking your time/distance with an app on the phone – being able to see your speed quickly and often.

I totally felt high after that run, I have never broken 50 min on a 10k training run before. I’m giving huge credit to Crossfit for that.

Rest of the afternoon went by uneventfully and then it all went UP again when I got home from work – my overworked husband has actually taken this week off from work, so just like every night this week, the kids had done their homework and dinner was waiting for me :D After hardly seeing him for a few months I can say that homelife this week has been so.freaking.nice.

Anyway, I’m not sure I had a point in mind when I started this post…. It was just an emotional day… I cried, I laughed, I felt low and lonely, and then so strong and so loved.

Such a weird day. But in the end – all’s better than well.

P.S. I’m sure the thing about running super fast when without socks was just a glitch, I’m hoping I don’t have to repeat it to repeat that speed – my feet are a bit damaged :|

I’m in my forties, have job and kids, do a MA degree in Uni, do running and try seeing my friends regularly – unfortunately I think its my husband who takes the toll (no us time really), plus I sleep about 5-6 hours a day…. which I know is not good for me, but I just don’t want to give anything up….
And as you have inspired me to run (I just started this April) and my pace is about 50 min per 9 km (this is my regular loop), I thought that I’m ever so slow but apparently I’m not that bad :) and I can’t really run any faster yet as my blood stats are so poor thanks to my health issues (very low red blood sell and hemoglobin count ) but I thought you runners are way-way faster.

But cheers to you Mrs.B as I think what you pack into your days is amazing, and if that is what you enjoy then all the power to it!

I think that it is all about your priorities. I see it in a more positive way: now that we are (just a bit) older, we can live the life we want. If fitness is your thing, then you are right to make time for it. And there is nothing to feel guilty about.

I don’t think enjoying fitness/exercise/health is self absorbed or selfish. It’s very important when you have children, a husband and a job all taking things out of you that you give time to yourself. That you have something that is for you to enjoy. Yes your friendships might suffer a little but we are lucky that in the world of email/twitter/text/facebook we can keep up with our friends with much less effort than it used to take. However I also think because of all those ways of keeping in touch we have more friends than we might in the past which makes it even more time consuming to keep in touch. Friends, true friendships will last periods of non-communication as they will understand that life moves fast and there is a lot of cram in.

I think I don’t get to have a say in this since I am not in my 30s yet :P In the end, in my opinion, the most important thing is to be happy. Are you satisfied with the way your life is? Are you truly happy with the way you live? It shouldn’t matter what others think, and remember, true friends will always love you for who you are deep down inside :) You know, almost like your husband.

I’ve been quarreling with myself about virtual and existing friends and how (and if at all) virtual friends actually effect me as much as real friends I get to see once a week or so. The battle is still going on…