I entered the rampway from downtown Barre to pick up Interstate 89, for what I thought would be a very uneventful 2 1/2 hour drive back to the Capital District.

And then, all of a sudden… my world changed.

Background.

There was snow and ice on the road, and I was already having trouble gaining traction on the Vermont roadways. As I entered I-89, suddenly my tires hit a very dry patch of road – after being on the snowy, slippery roadways – my car’s stability control got confused, and my Saturn Ion took off like a Saturn V.

And in a second, I was into a major skid. The Saturn slid over to the right side of the road, spinning clockwise. I held on for dear life. Oh my God, I’m going to die on the Vermont Interstate. Let’s Go, Cardachrome – next stop, the Pearly Gates… Grandma Betty… Stacy Davis… Allen Miller… Rich Mahady… BANG

Next thing I know, I’m in a snowy ditch.

A couple of motorists pulled over to make sure I was okay. Other than being completely shook up, I was fine. I looked around. All the windows were intact. I got out of the car. Everything looked attached, but there was no way I was getting out of this ditch without help. Real help.

I assessed my situation. Best thing to do at this point is to call 911. And thankfully, if I had to crash in Vermont, at least I crashed in an area of Vermont with semi-reliable cell phone coverage.

Within 15 minutes, a Ford Crown Victoria pulled up, and sure enough, a Vermont State Trooper was behind its steering wheel. I flagged him down. I probably didn’t need to do that, it’s not like there were six disabled vehicles in the vicinity and he had to get to the right one.

First thing the trooper said to me was, “Do you want to die right now on the highway? Get in your car right now!!”

After I quickly climbed back in the Saturn, the trooper barked at me some more, demanded my license and registration and proof of insurance – and then asked me, “Are you okay?”

I nodded.

A tow truck was summoned. The officer chastised me some more, alerting me that the reason he thinks I crashed was that I was going too fast for snowy conditions. He must have taken pity on me, because he only issued me a written warning – he could have slapped me with a $200 fine and 2 points on my driver’s license, but maybe God didn’t want me to die today.

About 20 minutes later, a tow truck operator (from Bob’s Sunoco in Barre) attached a cable to my front right tire. A few moments later, the Saturn was back on the highway shoulder, and was pointing in the correct direction of traffic flow.

The tow truck operator said that the car looked okay, although there was some body damage to the rear driver’s side door – apparently the only thing that kept me from falling COMPLETELY off the road was that I hit one of the mile marker divider bars, which put a gouge into the driver’s rear door – that must have been the “bang” I felt in the skid.

Even with all this damage, the car was still driveable, and I navigated my way back home. I distributed the homemade fudge to my friends, and let them know what had happened – but that I was okay, although a bit shaken up. I don’t think they were interested in the fudge, as much as they were interested that I was unhurt. That helps.

After my heartbeat calmed down to something less than a Devo drum track, I called my insurance company and gave them as much information as I could about the accident. Thankfully, your man pays for collision coverage (my insurance company offers helping hands rather than a finger), so any repairs to the Saturn would be covered past my deductible.

January 10, 2011. First thing in the morning, I brought the car to H&V Collision Repair in Troy for an assessment. The insurance adjuster looked over the car, took some pictures (I think he used a Nikon CoolPix – sorry, I just notice these things), and he determined the damage and the repairs necessary. The worst of the damage occurred to my rear driver’s side door, and because a Saturn’s outer shell is bonded composite instead of metal, the whole door required replacement. The front bumper sustained some snow and ice damage to it, but nothing completely unrepairable. I think the worst damage to the front was to my license plate bracket, which caused my plate to dangle precariously on one remaining bolt (and by the way, no less than seven different people were kind enough to stop my car and say to me, “Do you know your license plate is about to fall off?”).

In all honesty, the Saturn saved my life, as the plastic parts absorbed most of the impact of the skid and crash. If I drove my old Pontiac 6000 instead, the crash would have been metal on metal, and the car chassis might have opened up like a can of tuna. Wow.

The insurance adjuster was very calm and reassuring, he explained what was required and informed me that all the parts needed to restore and repair the Saturn were available and easily acquired. No hunting in junkyards for 20-year-old Pontiac 6000 front grille assemblies.

The adjuster told me that once the repairs began, the car would be at the collision center for about a week, and really the only delay would be to schedule a loaner car for use while Cardachrome was up on the jacks.

February 14, 2011. What a Valentine’s day this is going to be.

H&V Collision Repair called and let me know that they had a loaner car available for me, so I dropped my wounded warrior off at the repair facility. Cardachrome’s going in for some major surgery.

Until then, I’m driving a loaner car from the repair shop; a Chrysler PT Cruiser. Understand something. Whether I’m in a rental car or I’m a designated driver for someone, it just doesn’t feel the same as when I’m in my own car. It’s like sleeping in an unfamiliar bed. I don’t get that reassuring General Motors vibe in a PT Cruiser; it’s like I should take this car, grab a surfboard and head for Seaside Heights and hang out with Snooki and JWoWW.

Mind you, I’ve had miserable experiences with auto repair shops in the past. In 2007, I took my old Pontiac 6000 to Sears in Colonie Center for what I thought would be just an oil change. Yeah… it was an oil change, two new struts, and about $2,000 worth of “important repairs,” to the point where Sears wouldn’t take my car off the hydraulic jacks until I approved the purchases. Another reason why I noheart Sears.

The worst experience, by far, occurred in 2008. I was attending the Vocal Group Hall of Fame inductions in Sharon, Pa., when all of a sudden the 6000 lost power. The Pep Boys in Niles, Ohio diagnosed the problem as a faulty computer signal. Three days later, the car was mobile – only to die out at Verona NY, about two hours from home. The second Pep Boys – this one in New Hartford – diagnosed the problem as something else, and I had to leave the car there for a week. After I got the car back, I made one stop on the NYS Thruway – and lo and behold, it died again. It took three Pep Boys auto repair shops two weeks to totally misdiagnose my car – when all I should have done was go to DePaula Chevrolet (or any Chevrolet dealership) and they could have run a diagnostic and discovered that my fuel injectors were clogged. Luckily, I got the repair bills refunded from Pep Boys, but my whole experience soured me on buying anything outside of an air freshener from Manny, Moe and Jack.

February 15, 2011. A representative from H&V calls me. Cardachrome is in the body shop, and the estimated schedule is for the car to be painted on Wednesday and returned to me by Thursday. The damage was as I expected – the rear driver’s side door, the quarter panel, the front grille and the license plate bracket. I thanked the representative.

Later that day, another representative from H&V gives me a call. “We’re just waiting on some parts, because a Saturn has very specific body parts and rivets and clips, some of the materials have to be ordered from Canada.”

Oh great. My car will feel more comfortable at the Big Stop in St-Liboire, Que. than I will.

February 16, 2011. H&V calls. The parts are still on order, and the estimated time for Cardachrome to return to me is February 24th. I still have use of the PT Cruiser until my car is returned. It’s the PT Cruiser that helps me get up to Saratoga Springs so that I can film my scenes in Bottle Service.

February 25, 2011. I get the call. “Mr. Miller, this is H&V. Your car has been reassembled and is back to normal. We’re ready for you and your car to be reunited.” I try to get over to H&V to pick up my chariot, but the nasty snowy weather turned I-787 into a parking lot. By the time I actually made it to Troy, H&V was closed. Will return on Saturday.

February 26, 2011. Cardachrome and I are reunited. I paid the deductible; the insurance company covered the rest. The car has been completely detailed; all my personal belongings are either safely stored in the glove box, or placed in the trunk. The car has received a full coat of paint from front to back; it looks a little bluer than before, but I like the hue. The front grille has been restored to its original factory showroom gleam; my license plate is now framed with an H&V Collision plate bracket.

Although the car has been returned to its original state, there’s one variation to the Saturn. Because a rear driver’s side door for a 2005 Saturn Ion was not immediately available, the car now has a 2006 rear driver’s side door. Apparently it’s the exact same door style, so nobody will be any the wiser. Shh… don’t tell anyone.

If you’ve ever been in a car accident, whether it was your own fault or the fault of someone else’s, you can certainly understand the millions of emotions racing through you – from the moment just before impact, to the repair and restoration of your cherished chariot. My thanks and appreciation go out to everyone from the tow truck operator of Bob’s Sunoco to the Vermont State Trooper who made sure I didn’t get into a worse jam; from my car insurance company, who did show their good hands instead of giving me a finger; to the collision repair shop, who took my Cardachrome and restored it back to its gleaming beauty.

Hmm maybe the door came from ny now defunct 2006 Saturn Ion. It was the first new car I ever bought, it traveled from Hawaii, Guam, Texas and then my parents took it to NY. Unfortunately it quit on my mom and they had to trade it in. Saturn’s had been the only cars I have driven. Take car of that treasure!

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Chuck Miller: Writer, Photographer, and the life lessons I learned from Street Academy