Musings of an Incorrigible Writer

02/13/2015

Fifty Shades of No Thank You

I have no intention of flocking to see 50 Shades of Stalking. Seriously, when I read the book (and I use the term lightly) I was extremely disturbed by how creepy, controlling, domineering and abusive Christian Grey's character is. Not talking about the dominant stuff. Talking about him telling Ana what to wear. Who to talk to. Threatening to repeatedly hit or punish her outside the bedroom for her offenses of defying him (i.e. having her own mind and acting as if her body is her own). Raping her. Acting like he can't live without her after meeting her two minutes ago. In real life when a guy acts that clingy (following you to your mom's house cross country when you asked for space), you usually end up in an episode of Dateline.

Why is that romantic? It's offensive on so many levels. And I'm not just talking about the poor sentence structure.

So yeah, I'm skipping the film for that reason, because I'd rather not use my money to help perpetuate this misogynist crap.

Anyway, I can't imagine my own daughter bringing home a man like Christian Grey and thinking he was a catch. I would absolutely tell her to kick this guy to the curb. Because money and looks and sex appeal aside, the guy is not just a creep, he has serious psychological problems, and is probably a sociopath. And if women don't see that when it is so obvious on the page, I'm not sure what book they were reading.

I guess women are looking for their very own erotica and think they've found something respectable in 50 Shades. But have they? A powerful guy who treats the meek virginal girl like he owns her, like a prize possession? Like just another toy in his stable? How is that sexy or empowering for women? And beyond that, how are they finding it ROMANTIC???

I know women like to argue that ultimately Ana changes Christian through her love, but all I see is a man who manipulates a woman over and over again and demeans and humiliates her with his needs always coming first. He gets angry when his needs aren't met and when she does threaten to leave he pouts. If he hurts her, he lavishes her with expensive gifts as a form of apology. It's an extremely emotionally immature and unhealthy relationship.

If the book/film were written as a cautionary tale where Ana comes out of this empowered, learning to speak up for herself and get out of a very bad relationship, I could get behind it. But as it is sold as a fairy tale romance between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele who are soulmates and meant to be together, I find it extremely repugnant.

Because Christian Grey is not well. In his own words, he is "50 shades of f*cked up". And he deserves no woman until he takes responsibility for his own actions and choices and gets help.