Thursday, September 08, 2005

OCD anyone, anyone?

I'm not sure that scientists have ever studied if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder runs in families, but it sure does in ours. The Boy has been known to throw amazing body-contorting, rainbow-colored fits if his routine is ever disturbed. For instance, if we suggest to him that it's time to put the Legos away and eat dinner he will make a face and commence crying and wailing in an ear-splitting way until he has managed to turn a brilliant magenta color and has permanently damaged our ear drums.

His daycare teachers have labeled this behavior as "trouble with transitions" which sounds to me like he is dithering between using "however" or "on the other hand" whilst crafting the great American novel. I had always wondered where he got this habit from until I listened to myself one morning while I was talking to The Man.

It was a Sunday morning so that means I got to sleep in while The Man got up with The Boy and made his breakfast. I walked into the kitchen just as The Man was starting the coffee. It must be noted here that he does not drink coffee. He makes coffee for me, and me alone, on Sundays because he's just that sweet. So while my dear spouse is slaving over a hot coffee maker I proceed to berate him for his amateurish coffee-making style:

Me: "You're just going to pour the coffee like that? That's not how I do it."

Him: "Well, that's how I do it."

Me: "But that's wrong! You have to pour the creamer in first, then the coffee. That's the only way it gets mixed properly. Just look at you! You're pouring all the coffee in first! There won't be any room for the cream for God's sake! No cream? Are you kidding? Where is the cream going to go!?"

Him: {sighing deeply} "You know I have been doing this for a number of years now. I think I know what I'm doing."

Me: "No, you obviously don't know what you're doing! Look at the coffee! Look at it! It's not mixed right! There's not enough creamer. It's all at the bottom of the cup - look at the color! That's not the right color. Now you'll have to get a spoon to stir it properly! Why couldn't you just pour the creamer in first? The creamer always goes in first! That's the way God intended it! Not coffee first, CREAMER first! Gah! I can't believe this - my own husband, the father of my child has despoiled my coffee in this foul way!"

Him: "Do you need a time out?"

So, yeah... I'm beginning to see where The Boy comes by his OCD. The Boy and I are available should any psychology grad students need a dissertation topic.