President Obama said he was carefully reviewing Putin’s challenge, and after consultations might have a response sometime in the near future, perhaps. He wasn’t sure.

Meanwhile, he was drawing a red line in the sand and warning Putin not to cross it, at least not too often.

“I am half-black, after all,” Obama said. “And you know what that means. If I enter, I’ve got a 50-50 shot at winning. Maybe.”

Obama added that he would outreach in a bipartisan way to the GOP and invite them to send a representative, too, since they are effectively running the country anyway.

“Despite his orange glow and weepy eyes, John Boehner could be a serious candidate,” Obama said, “if he would only pronounce his name correctly.”

Antony Weiner had already texted his entry but was ruled out because he was no longer in office.

Putin’s announcement was not universally welcomed.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel denounced it as “sexist,” pointing out that by definition it was impossible for her to win, no matter how big a prick she had made of herself over Greece.

She said she was consulting with attorneys to see whether strap-ons counted. If they did, Merkel said, Putin would be hearing from her in a very big way.

Back in the US, Dick Cheney also formally threw his hat into the ring.

“Let’s face it, I am the biggest political dick in the world,” he said, “by far. No one can even touch me, especially after I criticized Obama for messing up in Iraq.”

“Never in the field of human endeavor have so many lies been uttered by someone so unworthy and so soon,” said Mr. Cheney, adding, “Winston Churchill said that, sort of, so quoting him just compounds my disgusting effrontery.”

Former US president George W. Bush gloomily agreed. “I coulda been a contender,” he said. “Instead of a bum, which is what I am.”

Sen. John McCain declared that the US should “accept Putin’s challenge and bomb Russia.”