Ok, so I had ran out of booze (this was before I left and went to jail) ok well, it was pay day and i was going to get drunk to celebrate the end to my 1 and a half day of undrunkenness. I end up buy a bottle of 1792 ridgemont reserve barrel select kentucky straight bourbon whiskey which is 93.7 proof (also very cheap for such a great product) anyway because I was so happy to have booze again I just drank most of the bottle in 20 minutes, idk what happened next but I had a limp in either my right or left leg for months, it didn't hurt it was like a nerve had been severed, I will never know what I did in that time to cause this to happen.

This one was tiped in rather recently. Btw: A drunk turns into rubber when loaded because he/she doesn`t try to stop the fall with his/her limbs. Call it "face down first" if you want. No broken bones, but a nice hangover and a concussion. But who knows how to tell the difference?
Ever tried to recollect last nights endeavour by the blackness of your bruises?

I had a band gig in town. Rode with my folks who wanted to come. My buddy who I used to have a band with came. Well, we all got good and drunk. Shit, even my mom couldn't drive and I had to drive her home (folks took two vehicles). So we got back to the house in town by a miracle, and my buddy said "Hey, is there any liquor here?" "Well funny you should ask, my mom's had a handle of captain that hasn't been touched in a God awful long time. It needs to get done."

Him and I ended up killing a handle of captain between the two of us after having had probably 4 pitchers of beer each, 8-10 rounds of shots at the bar at least, I'm certain it was more but that's all I can account for (which helped sap away my gig payment), and probably other shit. APPARENTLY, I fell over on my face and guitar while jamming on guitar with him, broke a speaker cable and a knob on my amp. Got carried up the stairs to my bed, and my buddy said when he left after getting just good enough to drive, he checked on my and I was laying on my bed with my legs on the bed, and my face on the floor.

My nose hurt and felt broken for a week.

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" -Tom Waits

Oh yes. I discovered a crack in one of the knobs on my Marshall amp head two weeks later, but otherwise, the instruments faired well. As a guy who cut his chops in blues-rock back in his high-school days where he focused on one genre, falling flat on my face with the Strat underneath me added to it's mojo. No battle scars (paint chips) from the incident, but drunk mojo never hurts a guitar that's built for the right type of music (boozing music)

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" -Tom Waits

I broke another glass-jar recently with my lemon mixer bottle. A week later I drunkenly found another shard of said glass and of course cut my finger with it and somehow managed to get it stuck beneath my skin. Only drunks are drunk enough to pull stunts like these

Two bottles of vodka somehow "rained" into my liver last night it seems. While they were at it I must have eaten flesh-eating-bacteria my stomach wants me to know. But that`s nothing another bandaid of voddie can`t hold up!

I broke another glass-jar recently with my lemon mixer bottle. A week later I drunkenly found another shard of said glass and of course cut my finger with it and somehow managed to get it stuck beneath my skin. Only drunks are drunk enough to pull stunts like these

hope it doesn't get infected. Dip it in vodka or something

"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best

I broke another glass-jar recently with my lemon mixer bottle. A week later I drunkenly found another shard of said glass and of course cut my finger with it and somehow managed to get it stuck beneath my skin. Only drunks are drunk enough to pull stunts like these

hope it doesn't get infected. Dip it in vodka or something

Sucked it out and almost choked on it.
If anything kills me prematurely I think vodka got the bragging rights, Phillipp Morris meanwhile sits in the corner crying like a little baby