“Oh! I almost forgot,” says Mortimer from somewhere inside the smoke cloud, “I’m going to steal the gold potato tomorrow, and you’re supposed to protect it as best you can. The gold potato. Remember that.” Knowing that winking would be not only redundant, but also invisible, he laughs maniacally before the pushing a button on his phone and cutting off power to all of Last Kale.

This is part 25 of Vile, a novel in progress. Would you like to read the first part?