Myself: He's talking crap, I wanna sleep.. sleep is good. Re-wires your head, makes you more intelligent and improves memory and creativity. How about trying some lucid dreaming right now??

Me: No way!! wake up.. falling asleep when someone is talking is just plain wrong. You're insulting the guy you know. You're not that smart yourself...

Myself: Whatever, dai.. this guy is talking shit. Why is he teaching you to install an OS. You already know this crap.

Me: True, should I tell him that I know all this? Oooh! How about if i show off!?? Tell him that I know all about virtual machines, I used VMWare and stuff? What do you think?

Myself: Whateva, either you do something exciting or am gonna fall asleep and take you with me

Me: Alright, here goes...

Myself: Well........??

Me: Ummm, he looks so happy explaining it. Seems to be having a ball.. who knows, I might actually learn something.

Myself:Ok, he does look passionate about installing the OS, but learn something? WTF?? Do you know how irrational what you are saying is??

Me: Yea, what you say is true indeed. So....? Do I tell him to move on.

Myself: Hmmm, That'll require a jolt of energy and I am too happy now, in this half dreamy state..

Me: But this'll be a waste of my time otherwise

Myself: Next time, I swear... we'll speak our mind out. Next time no hesitation OK? Just leave it this time...

Me: Hmmm, sure.. next time.. surely??

Myself: Yea, surely.. now how many times have we been here before?

Me: Many I guess.. we sure suck...

Myself: We sure do... yep, we suck...

Me: So, next time.. no hesitations. I want your full support. We'll pick a fight with an annoying shopkeeper, talk to a random hot chick and ask her out, show the finger to someone who thinks they are smarter than us but isn't, get on with spirituality and all that other shit....??

There is this crossroad near my house which is now, according to a friendly neighborhood cop, an official "Vehicle Checking Point" (VCP for short).As I was driving back from my Linux class 3 days back, a cop at the VCP showed me the hand.. yes the hand.. not the bloody finger... the hand.

[I got to tell you a secret about the hand, but that at the end of the article]

So I stopped by scooter (did I ever mention bike? No, its just a lil scooty teenz..), got off and showed the cop my license, registration and insurance papers. Now this cop was really really sad. I could see the dissapointment in his face, so I thought i'd probe him a little

[The foll convo was actually in Tamil, here is the english translation]

Me: Sir, why did you catch me, do i look like an offender??Cop In White: No, we just try to catch people who look suspicious.......................Me: Ok, but why me? among all the other people plying the road??Cop In White: Most people have their license, but many don't have their insurance, thats why we catch them....Me: Ok sir, thank you.. but may I know why there are so many cops in this locality? [There were 5 cops at the juncture at that time]Cop In White: This area has become very dangerous sir. There are lots of stolen bikes and chain snatchings that happen here. These things don't usually happen on the main roadMe: Ah! Yes, as there area lot of people there??Cop In White: (Incomprehensible)Me: Ok sir, thank you....

(and I left, so far so good.. but I had my theories)

[TODAY, 3 days after the above incident]

(U can skip this part of u want.. read on 4rm the star mark)

As I was driving back from my Linux class, a cop at the VCP showed me the hand.. yes the hand.. not the bloody finger... the hand.

[I got to tell you a secret about the hand, but that at the end of the article]

So I stopped by scooter (did I ever mention bike? No, its just a lil scooty teenz..), got off and showed the cop my license, registration and insurance papers. Now this cop was really really sad. I could see the dissapointment in his face, so I thought i'd probe him a little

[The foll convo was actually in Tamil, here is the english translation]

*Me: Sir, why did you catch me, do I look like an offender??Cop In Khaki: We try to catch people who might not be having their documentsMe: Ok, but why me? among all the other people plying the road??Cop In Khaki: We are not the enemy young man, don't worry. We only catch those people who look suspicious.....................................Me: Ok sir, thank you.. but may I know why there are so many cops in this locality? [There were 4 cops at the juncture at that time]Cop In Khaki: Oh, this juncture is now officially a Vehicle Checking Point. We are supposed to check vehicles for lack of documents (no mention of increasing crime rate O.o)Me: Thank you sir......

As I left, a collegue of the cop who caught me flagged down a chap on a Karizma who looked like your typical TCS employee... my sympathy went out to the guy who also had all his documents...

Now, here's the real shit... b4 dat.. some gyaan..(Rumour has it that cops regualrly put traffic offenders into a ring (like in the Gladiator movie) and make them have face-offs with their vehicles. You can see the distinct markings on the sand in the picture, which can only be made by vehicles trying to run away from each other. Furthermore the cops also engage in betting on their favourite offenders. Here we see a cop giving a pep talk to his champion. The boy has obviously been caught driving without a license and is now forced into the arena. As you can see, personal safety is a huge issue in these face-offs. All policemen wear helmets)

The real shit

1. Cops want money

2. They can extract money from people

3. If you are wearing a t-shirt and jeans, it means you have money to spend and your parents have even more.

4. If you are wearing a t-shirt and jeans you are irresponsible.

5. If you are young and have a id-card hanging around your neck, you work in an IT company

6. If you work in an IT company, you have cash to spend.

7. If I am a cop, I would love to fleece these two categories of people

Need I say more???

Ah, yes and the hand signal.... If you go in front of a moving MTC bus and and stretch out your hand low, your fingers cupped and facing upwards, it means you are from the MTC and require a lift. Busses usually stop...

P.S. Try at your own risk. If you get beaten up as a consequence, please desist from showing them this blog. Thank you. GM.

SCREW YOU.. this is not a movie review, and no, I haven't seen the movie yet.

Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger.. that's all one can hear these days. How can so many people like the same thing? It defies all traditional logic and human experience. Where are the wannabe renegades, those who dislike stuff simply because so many other individuals like a certain thing (a so called negative review was dugg and the backlash to that article was unbelievable, it was still a 'positive' review according to many), I miss you people for once. For 'everybody' to like something as subjective as a movie is a statistical improbability of incredible proportions.

Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger.. is it because he's dead? Aww, give the guy a break.. he did other movies as well!! Whats that one about few gay guys on a mountain or whatever, that Oscar nominated movie...ooh, did it win??? But there are many others who didn't even know about his demise, and still praised him all the way to heaven. Unbelievable, even those who haven't even heard of 'The Batman' or 'The Joker' praise the movie like anything. Praising 'The Batman' suddenly seems to have lost the geekyness associated with it.. really really strange.

Ah! The Dark Night even beat 'The Godfather' which was a safe movie for everybody to refer to when asked 'What is your favourite movie?'. It has the right blend of intellectualism and coolness to simply make one look cool and intellectual by simply mentioning the movie.. but The Dark Knight? Its a Superhero movie for God's sake.. did all the IMDB members simply choose to play along with the common man's verdict?? Is this a classic case of herding behavior. Wonder what Ayn Rand would have to say about it all??

Yes, I am going to watch The Dark Knight, not because of the hype but because I am a Batman fan. Having read Infinite Crisis, Omac Project, all of Frank Miller's Dark Knight series, watching 'Batman the animated series' at least 6 times on good old Doordarshan, Batman Of The Future and what not, a Batman movie is a must watch for me. Ah screw you, Christian Bale is an amazing actor as well (Empire Of The Sun, The Machinist)

Who says success is attributed to your individual will, hard work,determination, perseverance etc etc? I guess most people you and I know would say so.. but not Dr. D. Gartner of Johns Hopkins University Medical School. In his pioneering new work - The Hypomanic Edge, he claims that successful people have a mild form of mania (the extreme forms being schizophrenia, remember A Beautiful Mind?) called hypomania a genetically transferred predisposition to Bipolar II Depression. Hypomania is characterized by quickness of thought, high energy, and grand ambitions. But it’s also accompanied by irritability and an inflated ego. Typical of successful businessmen and other highly motivated people don't you think??

A much debated question in TN is about who is a better .. whatever.. actor, crowd puller, mass entertainer, highest grosser.. it doesn't really matter. The Question asked is always "Machi, Kamal a Rajini a? yaru da gr8er?" There are people who would question me as to why I put up Kamal's pic 1st and then Rajini, but I would like to pacify those people with the fact that K come's before R (no hidden meaning attached again) in the English alphabet and that being the only reason.

Anyway, the paranoia in me reched new heights during the 1st few scenes of Kamal Hassan's magnum opus (when the bloody hell will Marudanayakan release??) 'Dasavatharam' where the Shaivite king resembled Rajinikanth to a large extent. To me it looked like a direct jab at Rajinikanth, wherein the shaivite king with his supporters (ie Rajini and fans) had subjugated Kamal and his fans (The Vaishnavites) in the box office due to larger collections by Rajinikanth in the past few years. Furthermore when the king forces Kamal in the movie to say "Om namo shivaiya", to me it seemed like Rajini was telling Kamal to embrace his model of movies, ie mass entertainers. The lyrics of the ensuing song has lines such as "If you feel the stones (poor box office sales = pain) pelting you, you will feel pain" and "If you know God (Film/acting as an art in itself) alone, the stones will not cause you any pain" . Uncompromising till the very end Kamal dies for his cause ie "Good Films" n refuses to succumb to market pressures. But hey, this is just an observation.

My personal opinion is that people who even ask the "Rajini vs Kamal" question ought to be shot in the leg at least twice for not understanding the nature of the 2 artists. To me both actors are great stalwarts of Indian Cinema and should be seen in their own light rather than in comparision, even if the box office may think otherwise. N btw Making mass entertainers that always do well(Heloooooo Vijay!) isn't an easy task.

Me: I solemnly swear that I shall not edit any part of this blog entry and is an accurate representation of the author's original writing

Here Goes,

One day Billy Boo went up to Mr.Pump and asked if his toast crumbs had been repaired.Mr.Pump said that the rocket ship still needed to be installed and that the chicken engine was dead.Billy Boo was shocked and screamed,"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!Not my chicken Cocoa he and i were supposed to eat Mrs.Chicken Aloo Tiki together!!!!!".Billy ran home to his pet worm and cried out,"Now who is gonna peck my back,whos is gonna give me bird flu and who is gonna run into the level 10 hazard area with me!!!!!!!"(sob sob sob).The worm then turned into the grim reaper and said that he would pose as a chicken only if he sacrificed a rock to him.Billy thought hard and wondered if he could give up his rock,his second most favourite thing in the world.

Will Billy give the rock,will he find a new friend and will this story ever make sense?

I frequent the TV very rarely due to the dearth of quality channels thanks to the introduction of the Conditional Access System in 2003. Yea, 5 years and hardly any TV.. the number of blogs over here proves the point too doesn't it? But anyway, late one night I decided to test my tolerance to boredom and switched on the TV.

Randomly I found this --->

Lok Sabha TV. They were doing a documentary on Quacks in the country, and it was actually pretty damn good. They were exposing Quacks, Police Officers and even various 'Quack-crack-down' dept heads. With practical advice on how to identify Quacks and test if the medicines they prescribeare genuine or fake, it was a really brilliant documentary- something all people even remotely Indian ought to know. For once I learnt something.

And then there was this--->

The Big Brother of all Indian News Channels. They were doing a story about a poor innocent girl's murder (i.e Arushi) followed by what Madonna had to say about some random paparazzi...

3 seconds, yes that's how long it takes the average human to decide whether they want to read a piece of literature or not. When you look at a piece of writing, like this blog entry for example, what did you first see? I guess it would be the picture of the lazy cat that has put down its book for the sake of lazing/sleeping/watching TV or god knows what. Now that must've taken you about 1.5 seconds to process. So I got 1.5 more seconds to make you commit the next few minutes to read the article. Well, that's where the layout and colour combo of the entry and blog come into play really. The nature of the background ought to hopefully cut down the remaining time by 0.5 seconds, so I got 1 more second to convince you. And for that, I have the entry itself. Damn, I couldn't beat you.. damn.. but if you are reading this.. guess I did!!!

Most families tend to undercount the number of members in it. Always add a '+1' or '+2' to the count. Yea, you really got to include the vehicle that a family owns. Apart from the fact that it does not talk, it really does behave like a family member (or at least a pet, but again those are considered to be family members too unless you call a fish(s) a pet and the trail of thought doesn't hold true.. but then again, there are exceptions.....) really, it eats (oil), falls sick(hence visits to the mechanic), gets cranky if ignored (refuses to start when you really want it to), breathes (yea air, combustion requires O2!) and also repro... what the hell .. this isn't what the entry is supposed to be about anyway......

Here's how it was originally supposed to be:

I have for some time been aware that many companies tend to 'google' prospective employees and look into their social networking profiles and blogs to see if the person they plan on recruiting is officially a psycho or not. They also want an impression as to whether the candidate is serious about the subject or not. Thus, on further investigation I have grown to discover a community of fakers who seem to have loads of 'fun' posting technical articles on their blog to impress their respective employers.............

But I actually have fun thinking about such stuff. Yes economics rox... what the hell .. this isn't what the entry is supposed to be about anyway......

Here's how it was really originally supposed to be:

Oil - The black gold that is suffocating the world today, because some countries (under the expert advice of powerful companies such as Goldman Sach's and others) are investing in oil futures because they are supposedly paranoid about future oil prices although in late '07 and v.early '08 supply >> demand.

Oil futures are basically deals between participatory entities that in the 'future' a seller of oil would sell a certain amount to oil to the buyer at an agreed price IRRESPECTIVE of the prevailing price at the time of exercising of the futures contract. This usually happens when there is a lack of confidence in the ability to predict prices of commodities in the futures. Can't explain more over here... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futures_contract

Oh, btw this isn't what the entry is supposed to be about anyway...... nah just kidding......

Anyway, excess speculation in these futures market caused demand >> supply of oil. This pushed oil prices upward as the oil producers can demand more prices for the increasingly scarcer commodity.. Oil. Now, what did the Indian govt do to counter the rising prices? It allowed oil companies to purchase oil from the international markets at the prevailing rate and sell it to the end buyer (ie you and me). But before that the govt gave subsidies, so that the end buyer (ie you and me) would be able to afford the high priced oil. (The govt did provide for the subsidy using yours and my tax money, so technically we ARE pauying the real price, but thats a question for later..).

Now lets take a look atRICE

What did the govt do when rice prices all over the world soared?? They freakin banned exports!!! They forced the farmers to sell rice to the govt at rates less than the international prices and gave to the end user (ie you and me) at a lower rate. But who is the end loser here... its the poor farmers!! The so called 'aam admi' that politicians so favour....

Why not carry over the same policy as with oil into the agricultural sector??

If farmers are allowed to export the rice, the domestic players would have to compete with international bidders for Indian rice. This would push prices in the domestic market upwards due to which the govt have to step and subsidize the rice by buying from the farmer and providing to the common man(ie you and me) at subsidized rates. (Finally a way for farmers to become rich as they receive international rates for their produce, but that's not what the govt wants is it? For them it is in their interest to keep the vote bank poor so that they can continue with their fake promises!!).

The losers of the current agricultural policy are the farmers. The real gainers of the current policy on oil are the oil companies and other foreign investors.

Lol @ democracy

Btw, there are many other angles from which the problem can be looked to give an almost contradictory view, but in economics the truth can never be ascertained with a 100% accuracy can it? Do you see the newspapers/news channels successfully predict market crashes???

A Honk is one of the most common sounds a city-dweller gets to hear. Especially if you live at the junction of many roads, the honks coming in from various directions seem to almost behave like a music instrument with 4.0 surround sounds. Ok, that was an exaggeration, but there was this 1 advertisement where auto drivers create music just by honking, or was that some movie? Blah

Anyway

The honk....

The thing is, honking behaves a lot like yawning, especially at signals when there is a HUGE line of traffic, the light just turns green and the big-ass truck blocking every one's way refuses to budge. A simple lil honk from the last vehicle in line becomes a deluge of honk's from every other vehicle waiting in line!! Its not that the poor truck wants to not move. Whats the point in honking anyway?

Common points between the 2

1. Both are contagious

2. Both arrive out of a sense of desperation (Yawning:Sleep :: Honking:"Get the f*** outta my way)

3. Both are extremely addictive, you do it once and u'll want to do it again n again for that session at least

He looks smart doesn't he? N also kinda cute (in a cartoony sense of course) But you could say he also seems a bit nitwitty. Someone for whom ignorance is bliss, or is it??

The peasant worked hard, very hard indeed. He did as he was told and in time told others what to do as well. He carried out his responsibilities well, took care of those around him, paid his taxes and drank tea.

But somewhere along the way, the common man became intelligent. He realized how to play the game, how to beat his competitors as well as his bosses. He learnt how to make easy money, for people made money of him. He discovered that the world isn't a fair place and that rules were meant to be broken and he too had become smart enough to break them. He had the knowledge and the tools to become the God of his own life.

But the common man faltered. The peasant in him was strong, strong indeed. He also knew that there lay great happiness in the simple. A life with his family, friends and relatives. A life of daily prayer of movies and smiles. One of enjoying the simple things in everyday life like the visits of relatives, of playing with his kids and of eating out in his favourite diner. It would be a good life indeed. One of contentment, peace and joy. One of ignorance and failure, one of relative poverty and ogling at the fancy cars that paced the streets. One of wondering what the all the rich and interesting people did in those huge mansions of theirs. One of being unknowingly exploited and never realizing one's true potential. One of paying his taxes and drinking tea.

My heart almost skipped a beat when one day my comp did not start. Three years worth of work and loads of other crap was on it. Mine being a Compaq Presario V3149AU and HP having bought Compaq, I diligently gave the laptop to the dealer from whom I had purchased it, after which the dealer diligently returned it to me with the news that my motherboard was screwed and the replacement would cost 18K.

Yes, 18K (18K 18K 18K 18K 18K .... Echo effect)

Stuff you should know

1. Same problem had happened 5 months back when the lappy was under WARRANTY, and after getting it fixed I didn't bother with the technicalities, happy that the lappy was working

2. WARRANTY had expired now.

It was needless to say that my dad was mad, mom even more. I tried blaming some random physics theory, but to no avail of course.

As I was seeing all hopes of getting my lappy fixed, there Lo! and Behold!! I Googled the previous error and like Prometheus being handed the knowledge of fire, google presented before me

A community of fellow people, who had braved to battle the devil before. With their experience, knowledge and wise advise, I uncovered the apochalyptic plans of HP to fleece its customers.The failure of my lappy was one of a list of problems for which the company provided an extended WARRANTY of TWO years from the date of purchase, but had conveniently chosen to not intimate its customers about it and I was still within the extend warranty period.

Peak hour traffic has its own intrinsic beauty. Peak hour is defined as that time of the day when the normal traffic rules break down. Its that time when driving on the right side of the road (for short distances of course!!) is permissible by even the cops. Its that time when the idiot talking on his cell phone can easily cross the busiest of streets without carrying out the standard ritual of "Look first to your right, then to your left" thanks to the.. well.. stand still traffic. People are also at their most charitable with advices and warnings such as "Otha, pathu po da poramboku" and "Right indicator pota epome right poga mudiyadu pa, ivalo traffic alle right turn kuda panna mudiyade", only to give you the most warm and sheepish smile when you meet them at the next traffic signal. The unwritten law of live and let live is also highly prevalent where cars give way to little scooters (to avoid getting their cars scratched by those squirmy dolts) and where buses give way to cars (well, simply because they don't have a choice really.. its a bloody bus in peak hour traffic, they can hardly move!). And you find yourself reaching your destination, a bit late maybe, but with very very less risk of getting killed due to the low speeds involved with peak hour travel.

N then there's 1 PM

The same person who might give you valuable advice during peak hour would zip past you at relativistic speeds with no thought about your safety. Driver's rarely honk, or even look in the rear view mirror. 1 PM is a very dangerous time to be driving, thanks to the high speeds involved.

The problem is this->-1. Most offices have their lunch hours from 1PM -2PM

Picture1: Good ol me merrily walkin down the road with 40+ sun right in my face, lame ass motorcyclists pumping Carbon Monoxide into my lungs, random dogs bumping into me and then acting like it was my fault, headache, dehydration.. good ol me merrily walkin down the road

Picture2: Most gorgeous girl I've ever seen appears in my field of vision