This is simply hilarious; I didn’t make it up. Tom Sharpe did, in “Grantchester Grind” (my bedtime reading these days, thanks to a Secret Santa).

“… there was nothing for Kudzuvine to do now that the Cathcart’s Catfood had been closed down. The knowledge that Sir Cathcart made a habit of having old racehorces slaughtered and consigned to tins, cats for the consumption of, had alienated anyone in the district. He had been cut in Newmarket by old freinds and there had been a disturbance outside the house when some Animal Rights activists broke in and had to be dispersed by the police. Worst of all the rumour had spread that he had been breeding horses simply to satisfy the nation’s cats and because horses grew faster than cows.”

It’s a farce, all right, but so are many aspects of real life in the Queendom.