No matter how many times the celebrity magazines tout it, I know celebrities are not like us. Case in point: They pick some really out-there baby names on their offspring. Here are my favorite unique celebrity baby names.

North WestThere’s nothing necessarily wrong with North as a name—unless, like Kim and Kanye’s baby girl, your last name is West. Then it’s a direction, not a name.

Moxie CrimefighterComedian/magician Penn picked this offbeat mix for his daughter, which regularly makes the weird celebrity baby name lists.

Royal ReignThis name feels like one that’d be picked by Prince for his child, but Lil’ Kim is the one who made this up.

Pilot InspektorJason Lee has a history of some pretty out-there baby name picks (including Casper for a daughter), but this is the wildest.

Audio ScienceAt this point, actress Shannyn Sossamon is more famous for her son’s baby name than for her acting.

AppleGwyneth Paltrow says she and Chris Martin picked it for the wholesome fruit, but I just think of iPods.

Kal-ElYeah, we get it, Nicolas Cage. You like Superman. But couldn’t you have gone with Clark or Kent?

Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune FlorenceThe weirdest part of this overly long name Uma Thurman bestowed on her most recent daughter? She actually calls her Luna instead.

Sparrow James MidnightNicole Richie and Joel Madden gave their son this name to make it tough on him. Madden actually said: “My worry raising a son in Hollywood is, what will he have to struggle for? I wanted to give him a name he’s going to have to stand up for.”

Bronx MowgliEveryone (except, apparently, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz) knows that Brooklyn’s the New York City borough name du jour. And adding the Jungle Book character’s name doesn’t improve the situation.

Racer, Rocket, Rebel and RogueDirector Robert Rodriguez found his sons’ “R” themed word names in a dog name book. No lie. (At least daughter Rhiannon was named after a Fleetwood Mac song instead!)

Speck WildhorseJohn Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin gave their son a name that means “teeny-tiny piece.” Not exactly inspiring.

JermajestyThis name smoosh comes to us courtesy of Jermaine Jackson, who is trying to indicate some sort of royal name on his son. (Uncle Michael went a bit further with his kids, picking Prince for two of them.)

Tu MorrowActor Rob Morrow gave his daughter a pun as a name. Nice.

Moon Unit, Diva Thin Muffin, DweezilRocker Frank Zappa is the granddaddy of all weird baby namers, and his name picks still set the standards.

Lisa Milbrand doesn’t know how she and her husband ended up in a suburban New Jersey home filled with three cats, two daughters, a counter-cruising dog, and every art project her children ever produced. But it isn’t so bad, so far. She writes as often as she can for as many publications as she can, in the hopes of someday retiring. Follow the antics of her all-mom rock band, Whatserface, on Facebook.