~ Goals…we all got goals…….

Maura Murray

I remember where I was in February 2004 when I first heard there was a girl missing named Maura Murray. As more and more facts came out through the weeks and months my mind went to one phrase over and over. “Run Maura Run…….”. There are hundreds if not thousands of theories. I won’t even try to touch on them. I did think of all the times that I could have easily gone missing. I thought of that day I sat in a room in Hilton Head Island (Westin) and I realized that before I checked into that hotel there was not one person in the world that knew where I was. It was….it was breathtaking to have that feeling. Some people have that rush when they do extreme sports or win a debate..I feel it when I am quite sure no one in the world knows where I am. I was young and not afraid. I thought about the day that I had my best friend drop me off at the airport on a whim and I flew off to parts unknown. No one knew where I was. (Sorry mom… she did realize I was missing and flipped out. I hate knowing that I caused her that feeling. However, it was a rush to realize no one could find me.) All my jobs that required travel… no one knew where I was. I can go on.

Maura what were you thinking that night with all the liquor in your car and yet another car accident when the stranger stopped by to ask if you were ok? I know most people, even if they are HUGE drinkers, prefer one type. You had liquor and wine. Were you going to meet someone Maura? Did you know you were in danger? Did you know you were running away or did you decide right then and there? Did you get that rush…and then run?

All that information that came out about you and your life. If you did run, I bet you never thought anyone would talk about it. You did not think anyone would care enough or you hoped no one would care enough. The stolen credit card, the car accident, the cheating on your fiance, all the “dirt” we all have in our own lives…all out for the public. Not only is it out there but there are entire sites dedicated to it where people fight daily about what they think you were feeling/doing/saying.

But no one knows do they Maura? If you were murdered, or if you died in the woods… or if you did run… No matter which, in your heart, you really were running weren’t you Maura? It might have been for the week, it may have been for life, but you were running. Maura…. I think about it to. I have for years. It must be thrilling to just walk away. I never could because of my parents. I could never hurt them like that and I would miss them too much. You…. you struggled with yours. So maybe that last thing that kept me here… maybe you did not have that and felt you were free to fly.

Maura, I think about you a lot. I keep up to date on your case. I wonder where you are. I hope you are at peace. Sometimes I am even jealous of you. Maura, no matter if you are in those NH woods or in Montreal very much alive I hope you are at peace. I hope no one ever finds you if you do not want to be found. I hope they find you today if you do want to be found.

I will always remember you then and now. I will always think the same thing I did when the story first broke that maybe… just maybe you had chosen to run away….