Friday, June 17, 2005

Life Is Hard

Before we begin, this has been changed around to keep everything NOS.

Life is hard for stupid people.

I read the class in America series. I have great empathy for those who cannot communicate with their doctors, and thus have their illness go undiagnosed by their doctor, who cannot interpret 'dizziness' to mean 'chest pain.'

But after having one of these moments myself, I have a huge degree of frusteration for simple idiocy. Not explained by class. This was explained by these people being fucking idiots.

Me: OK. So he's had his thyroid taken out. All of it? He's not on thyroid pills.

Idiot patient: I don't think so.

Me: OK. So not all of it. Probably. Any other surgery?

Idiots: no

Me, looking frazzled: ever?

Idiots: no

[We finally finish the history and go to the exam].

Me: Why do you have this long surgical scar on your abdomen?

Idiot patient: Oh, that's from when I fell and they took out my spleen. They told me that I had appendicitis, but it turned out to be an inoperable problem.

Me: Why am I wasting my time when I could have gone into teaching high school English. Better yet, undergrads. And never gotten married. Yeah... In the south...

Idiots: are you OK?

Me: no.

Now I just don't get it. How hard is it really to recall that you had surgery? Not to compare exactly, but I still recall when I fell of the bike when I was a kid and they had to stitch up my elbow. They ask about surgery, I tell them about my wisdom teeth and mole removals.

3 Comments:

Next thing you know, they'll be teaching med students to examine the patient before they ask a single question.

Almost like an autopsy on the living...how could you not tell a doctor you don't have a freaking spleen? Why is it a game of huckle buckle beanstalk?...hey, let's see what doc finds when he looks at me..I'm not going to tell...nutso