Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Confessions of My Boobs

My boobs have come along way in today's society. They have the compulsion to confess and share the journey from vanity to a divine life source.

Although this might sound silly I personally think that today's young women need to be educated and informed on what the possibilities are for the future of their bodies and not what they see on TV, in a magazine or on the internet. When I was a teenager the internet had not exploded yet. Magazines and TV was were you saw the models and actresses that adorned the perfect bodies. I was the teenage girl that so wanted to be them no matter what it took. My breast were average and so was I. Once I became a young adult I was addicted to be have the look. I also had a corporate job that helped motivate me. As I worked hard in my early twenties I came to a point where the job meant having the look and with vanity in complete control of my ego I decided to get breast implants. Although I vowed never ever to do it, there I was at a plastic surgeon asking about the procedure. The first statement out of my mouth was I want to breastfeed. He reassured me that implants done under the breast muscle are the best way for overall look and no complication with breastfeeding. Looking back now I find it humorous yet sad to think that I choose to manipulate my body yet I was conscious of the fact that I wanted to something healthy long term. I was a breastfed baby and grew up with the believe that babies were meant to breastfeed and it was the best and healthiest thing to do. As a babe I did not have a bottle or pacifier and was told I wouldn't take either, only the breast. I chose to have saline breast implants and went from a 34B to a 34DD. My mother was appalled that I felt compelled to do this. Nothing was going to change my mind. This was one of the worst choices I have made in my life and probably the one thing I regret the most. However I have not had any complications and for that I am grateful.

The years past and I was skinny with long blonde hair and big boobs. Until I moved to an island and changed careers. I worked on a boat as Scuba Dive Instructor and the big boobs led to a lot of sexual harassment that I could not handle. I quit and took labor intense jobs such as landscaping & cleaning houses. The big boobs led to big back aches. I pushed on.

When I met my now husband and discovered I was pregnant I was advised to start reading up on breastfeeding and the mechanics of my boobs as they were going to be making milk and providing a life source. My once perfect surgically enlarged breasts were going to go on quite an adventure.

Before my son was born my midwife said that I would have porn star boobs after the baby was born. I laughed her off. After my son was born I literally has porn star boobs, I'm talking 36G porn star boobs. And they were painful. From the surgery my milk ducts were a big cramped which led to insane engorgement. Hot compress, massage the breast, nurse baby, frozen cabbage with the occasional grated ginger compress thrown in there was my life for about 2 weeks. I was lucky, my son nursed like a champ and ate a lot. He more than double from his birth weight in less than 2 months. He was chunky and my amazing milk from my amazing boobs did that.

Within a few months of having my son I had to grieve, forgive and accept that choice that I made to alter one of the most amazing parts of my body. My son's pediatrician told me at my sons 2 month check up that I created nutritious bio-diesel milk. Then I heard the saying, "I make milk, what's your super power?" I felt a since of pride and joy that I had the most amazing gift of the universe. That I has gone from the gates of vanity to the astonishment of pure nature. My boobs were not meant to be enlarged so that I look a certain way to get a better job. My boobs were natures gift to me as a women to nourish my babies with a complete food that is made for only them.

My naked boobs have been displayed at malls, restaurants, parks, beaches, parking lots and pretty much any where I've been. I am not ashamed to expose my breasts so that my babies drink the sweet milk that is made just for them. Now the once perky breasts are saging and worn but they've fed two boys for two years each. My breasts have taught me how to trust my body and appreciate my beauty.