Friday, April 4, 2008

For the love of money

Dear Drug Dealer,

Your are nothing more than a modern day slave in my eyes. A slave to the corporate/government tycoons who are flying drugs in from all corners of the earth. You're nothing more than a whore on the street getting pimped. Come closer so that I may whisper the following in your ear. May you reap what you sow. I know, you're just trying to get ahead right? Cause it's hard out there...go #$$#$ yourself. Grow up, get a job...a honest one. If you can count dope money you can bring your ass to school. But I know...you're thinking, if you don't someone else will......right?

Ok so now that I have said my peace to the dealers.....

All this stuff was drudged up....today I reflected on my struggles in life...pregnancy hormones perhaps. I ponder on things from time to time, every time I see a deal being done on the corner, every time I have memories of my mother's drug struggle I just wonder how kids in the same situation are making it these days.

I can't began to express my disgust for drug dealers, these people and their suppliers are the scum of the earth. I know my mother was responsible for her own actions, but the way people become addicted is an act in itself, the way dealers pull them in, pretend to be "friends". Drugs are powerful, drugs destroy families, they ruin lives, yet these idiots will destroy their own communities for a some rims and a Coogi sweater,sneaks, I just despise them.

Tonight I was watching this re-run of the special about Keisha Cole, she puts her life all out there, no sugar coating, she kept it real, she had a series of shows on BET where she reveals everything about her family and her mother and her issues with drugs. I couldn't help but reflect on my mother's issues with drugs, and watching her breakdown, we lost the house, cars, everything, everything....but there was light at the end of the tunnel....a glimmer, God's hand.

My mom has got to be one of he strongest women I know. I can remember nights that she had the look of a caged tiger when we begged her to stay in, and not to go out in the street, that look is the look of a person possessed.....and the only thing that can stop it is God. It took me a long time to realize that there was nothing I could do but pray for my mom, this became especially evident when we had a dealer show up on Christmas morning....with a gun, wanting to collect money mother owed, thank God I had it, I'm not sure what would have happen to us that day had I not. I just happened to have about 200 cash on me...I swear dealers just suck yall, they have no heart.

Anyway I just want you to know my mom won in the end, she has been sober for over a year.....and I can't began to express how proud I am of her. She has grown so much. I guess you just never know what life is going to bring you, all it's challenges, it's ups and it's downs, you just have to be prepared....you have to be a warrior....God's warrior.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

tears of joy for your mom..my "surrogate"

tears of sorrow for those who still wallow in the murky waters of addiction

prayers for those enslaved to the deception of living the "good life" by tearing others' down..prayers for their broken spirits and that they'll never know the true feeling of the "good life" because somewhere deep inside they have no confidence and no love for themselves...no self worth..maybe this is the only road they feel like they are fit to travel. Sorry, lazy, slugs...