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Monday, 23 November 2009

Just thought I can share with you little miracles that happen in my life from time to time and that remind me that life is really full of surprises and dreams do come true, just stay positive :)

~1} Once I went to Starbucks to buy a cup off coffee, there I saw a nice chocolate cookies and I really really wanted to buy one but I didn't have time and just bought a cup of coffee to go. One hour later I had to go to the bank and while I was waiting in the queue one of the stuff of the bank came along with a tray of cookies to celebrate bank's anniversary or something. On the tray were the very cookies that I saw an hour earlier in Starbucks. So I ate the chocolate cookie, chocolate dream came true.

~2} This logo of 30secondstomars, my favourite band's album. This logo is featuring a red rose as you can see. So one Monday I put this as a wallpaper on my laptop and every time I looked at it I hoped someone would give me a long beautiful red rose. On Friday that week I was taking a bus home late at night and there were only two people in the bus - me and one guy sitting at the front. He stand up and came up to me, I got afraid a bit, but knew that driver could see me. The guy said to me: " next stop is mine, but before I get off I want to give you this" - so he gave a beautiful red rose and disappeared in darkness.

3} I was reading this popular book "Secret", maybe you've heard of it. So there was an exercise to do in order to check "the law of attraction". Basically it claims that the more you think of something - the more it's attracted t your life. The exercise asked readers to think of something for several days like a feather for example and it will come across. I didn't want to think about feathers, so I started thinking about a bouquet or red tulips as these are my favourite flowers. Next day (basically 24 hours later) after Uni when I came home, on the table nest to my flat was a bouquet of red roses (ok, not tulips, but whatever) with a note on it "Take me". So I took it.

4} Me and two of my friends were all going to London from one city, we decided to take the same train, but couldn't buy tickets together as we all were in different cities and bought tickets at different times, so we just thought we'll figure out how to sit together when we are in the train. When we were ready to take the train and checked our tickets - the places we had were in the same coach and they were: 2, 3 and.... 4

5} I was writing a story "Nika is flying to Mars" that you can read on my blog as well, and I couldn't come up with a name for one of the main charachters. So one day in the morning I decided on "James Summers". Later in the evening I was going to the cinema and lost my way, it was heavily raining, when I was trying to figure out where I was I came up to the street sign and it was "Summers place". I was shocked. Later that night when I was in the club my friend introduced me to her friend whose name was... James.

6} One day I went to Starbucks (again) and when I was paying I saw a note on the counter saying "It's my birthday", so I asked whose birthday it was and the girl serving me said happily that it was hers. So I paid for my drink and chocolate medal and then said "Happy birthday" and gave that chocolate medal to her. She was very happy. I was too. Next week in another Starbucks when I was paying for drinks and panini a waiter kept flirting with me. When I got me cup of coffee and panini, inside the bag there was.... chocolate medal.

7} One evening I went to see the play "Now or never" with Eddie Redmayne, one of my favourite actors, and everything was wrong, my friend couldn't join me, tube was slow and I took a wrong line, so I was a bit frustrated. After the play, whic was amazing, I went to ladies, and you know these queues to ladies' restrooms, bloody long. By the time I left, all the main doors were shut and I had to use another door. When I went to the street, guess who was smoking alone at the corner? yes, Eddie Redmayne.

Monday, 9 November 2009

Little shiny balls of rain are falling down. They are very warm and they are flying from sky towards earth surface with such a passion... as if they got a mission. A message to deliver.I am walking towards the bus stop, which as according to my memory is supposed to be somewhere there, 500 meters away.I wonder what that message would be? "Don't be afraid" or "Don't run away and go back" or maybe "Be strong".

It's quite late, 3 am. Not sure there will be a bus. Oh, yes, there should be. My memory reminds me that this bus is 24 hours. It's good news. However the decision is to be made, and I know my bloody heart that it can change its decision before the bus takes me away.

As if geographical distance means more than emotional distance. How f**ing weird, but it does. "Away" is the only word that is not from here. It's from somewhere there - far away. And how many people can break that word?

Here and Away are only two words that matter. That doesn't matter if you're away, somewhere deep in my heart you're here. Here and Away don't have so much of a difference now, do they?Right now at 3 am rushing somewhere I kind of wish you can come and save me from all the troubles. And you will tell me and my sisters a great story about little dwarfs sitting on the clouds and gathering little girls' tears. Then they make rain from these tears. So the more we, little girls cry - the more rain there is. Me and my sisters will believe you, for there is no way not to believe.

It's enough to believe and wait for someone who will just appear in the silver needles of rain and save me. That's not silver needles that hurt, that's my memory that is slowly waking up and reminding me that three years ago this very day, you died. People die, that's a kind of a journey end. Especially if they are 76. Especially if they're grandparents. Nothing to be crying about?

And I am not, who said I am? That's all rain drops on my face. And I am not running away from anything, just went for a walk under the warm rain. Here in this real world you are dead. But in my dreams you are always alive and lively. And you keep telling me something. Like a message. I just can't catch it. My memory is failing me again.

I wonder why it is raining? Why people cry over someone who is already dead? They are rarely crying over those whom they hated. They mostly cry about those who they loved. So these tears are warmed up with love, just like this rain is.