Ouch... It's a sticky situation. From my brief time in a poly relationship, I discovered that, without talking about emotions, there was no damned relationship at all. But it took my husband a while, and a lot of listening and 'not getting it' to come to the realization that if this wasn't about emotions, and our hearts, than it was just sex and that was all. He learned, with time. I hate giving advice, but I wanted to say to talk to him about the absolute importance, above all else, that you two talk through any emotions you might be feeling, and of course, him too. Like my husband used to say, if you're hurting, we're hurting. If you have an issue, then we have an issue. Good luck!