Saturday, March 9, 2013

My Calling

Before coming to school, I knew I wanted to go into Youth Ministry and work with youth in some way. I wasn't sure how; maybe in a youth group setting? Maybe in a small group setting? I wasn't sure, I just know I had been called to ministering to youth in some way.

Since I've been in college, I have been feeling God push and pull me in ways I wasn't expecting. I am coming to the close of my junior year here and I think God might be on to something ;) Over the past few years, I have worked with junior high students and college students on a small group level, working through passages of Scripture and working through tough Spiritual questions that are a part of our every day world. What I have felt in my heart is the pain and loss in these students' lives. They don't feel they fit in, they try to fit in in the wrong ways, they're confused about who to listen to, they aren't sure if they understand completely what God says will please Him, and they feel left out - even with all of the people who love them. I know that hurt first hand, especially growing up as the only child in my group of friends who came from a divorced home. I wish that someone, or even more people, were there for me when I hurt, and not just every few weeks or months. That's the kind of person I want to try to be, even though I know I'm not super woman.

Well last semester, I took a few more of my Youth Ministry, Family, and Culture classes (Issues In Contemporary Youth Culture and Communicating to Youth) and I started really realizing statistics of hurting teens in different scenarios that they can't just prevent or avoid. I learned the statistics of their outcomes, I learned so much about the worries of children who come from abusive homes, and low-income families, and divorced homes, and so many other situations that they have constant fears from. I decided to have a discussion with the head of the College of Counseling in the Grad Program and we talked about the requirements of entering Grad School in the College of Counseling and what the outline of time would look like for the time I spend in Grad School. I started feeling that maybe counseling is where I'm headed. This semester, I'm taking Counseling Youth Families (another Y Min course) and I really feel that my push towards counseling is being affirmed through this class and my Gen. Psychology class this semester. I'm learning a lot about how "the sins of the fathers will stay with the third and fourth generations" (said 66 times throughout the Old Testament) and how your family system really determines how you react to the world around you. It is crucial to work with youth who are at the growing stages of their lives where they need affirmation and direction but don't have many places to go.

Ultimately, I feel called to being a counselor in a Christian setting for families in crisis with a focus on the youth of these families. I am really enjoying family systems and how God works through the different members of the family to make Himself known and to do His Will. I think that in the event that I felt called to get my Doctorate's in anything, it would be in Family Systems. But at the moment, I just want to focus on getting my Master's for counseling. I can't wait to finish undergrad so that I can get done with my Master's degree as soon as I can; I can start working as a counselor in a Christian setting with families and youth!

The only thing now is this: will God truly provide for this? It already looks like He's leading me in the right direction, but will He truly provide? I trust Him. Also, my husband has aspirations to go to grad school as well, and later get his PhD in teaching History on the college level. What will be provided for us for him? Will we both be able to go to Grad school? Is that what we are both called to do? If so, where is he supposed to go? And when would he start? What should we do in between Undergrad and Grad school? When he and/or I finish Grad school, where will my husband go for his PhD? So many questions, and still so many that I haven't named. PLEASE! Pray for us, first thanking God for everything He has done for us already, and then to ask Him to provide clarity and to provide financially for what we need in the coming years. Please also pray for all the lives He will be putting in ours to help direct towards Him. Please pray that He will surely reveal to us His plan for us.