Ok, maybe not painful and untrue, but certainly funny, even if it is in a taking-the-piss, high-school way....So, if you're the female of the species, and suddenly feel the urge to go up to a guy and say:

"I believe you were eyeing my rack, don't you have one of your own?" (a book rack is what's being referred to here); or

"Ooh, your thing's so small. How does it work?" (a tablet PC)

then DO NOT feel offended if 10 guys around you burst out into peals of laughter (or just plain burst out of the room....because, well, they're polite lads, and don't want to guffaw in your face).

Let's face it. Men find humour in everything (or we try our best to). Especially if you're working in a vertiable loony-bin (the sort Crowley is presently an incumbent of).

And, let's face another 'it'. You weren't exactly born in a hole in Gurgaon. You really ought to know the consequences of making profound statements like the ones above.

Know thy Pirate

I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.... no, really.
You STILL wanna know? Right then.
I'm a lawyer. I'm a grouch. I'm a people watcher. I have one 'god', but I worship no one. I'm very good with kids and animals, but I freak out most other living creatures. It's my solemn wish that all hip-hop artists be made to walk the plank. I also give away flowers on certain days of the year.