Romney unveils new definition for 'not very much" money: $374,327

At a campaign stop, Mitt laughs at the suggestion that he try to live on $1,200 a month.

FLORENCE, South Car. - In a year that has seen a football player's name turned into a verb (to tebow), Mitt Romney has decided to provide a new definition for "not very much" money.

Romney had just revealed that he paid about 15% in income taxes on income generate primarily from investments made over the years when a reporter pointed out that the candidate must receive royalties from his book No Apology.

Romney was quick to respond.

"I got a little bit of income from my book, but I gave that all away. And then I get speakers' fees from time to time, but not very much."

A quick look at disclosure forms showed that the definition for "not very much" money for 12 months is exactly $374,327.

Harold Putnam of Florence, who retired last year after working as a janitor at South Florence High School for 34 years, pondered his own definition of "not very much."

"Hmmm," he said puffing on a cigarette, "not very much to me is $1,209 a month. Yep, 'cause that would be the amount of my Social Security check."

Make Lyndon's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

This will be the last year that Santa drops off fake "Competition Winner" letters and furniture advertisements with his presents. Mail firms from warmer shores have undercut Santa's delivery deals by using cheap unregistered labor and offering an all...

New York, NY Donald Trump was pleased to announce today that Bill Cosby would be one of the celebrities on his next show. Others will include Michael Richards and Paula Deen.
"Dr. Cosby has requested that we make a few changes to our original for...

Sex sells, conventional wisdom asserts, but, according to sales of fashion giant Aberzombie & Bitch, not so much.
At least, not lately.
Teens, it seems, have largely abandoned the clothing company known more for its nudity and pornographic...

Friday, November 28th 2014 will reign as a black day in British history, black not only for the dark deeds done on that day but also for the foul American import that caused them - BLACK FRIDAY!
Long accustomed to importing all new things American...

Upstate Pizza and Subs of Troy, NY clarified yesterday that they weren't related to Upstate Urology, another establishment, located in another part of town, and using the same name as the sub and pizza shop.
David Grushim, proprietor of the eat...

A new vaping company has come on the market that provides its users with atomic-borne, fracking-waste emissions instead of the water vapor used by traditional vaping horns.
Vape Rape LLC, headquartered outside Wheeling, W.Va. on a rezoned piece o...

Wallgreens has always wanted to be your pharmacy. Now, the drug store chain apparently wants to be your doctor, too. Not only does it operate a Mini Klinik in each of its locations, but the company also decides whether or not to fill its customers' p...

New York, NY In a revenge move precipitated by the Palm Beach county airport rerouting their plane lines over his mansion, Donald Trump has bought the sky. His first move is to restrict all air traffic from using his sky.
The Supreme Court quickly...