A couple of days ago Roman climbed up to the top of the fridge, retrieved the bottle of children's vitamins and then helped himself to the "candy". Oh, he also practiced his manners and shared with Greggory.

I was in the shower. Brooklyn was at school.

After discovering Greggory with vitamin residue all over his face and shirt, I calmly called poison control thinking that I should probably disguise my voice because I've called them so many times. I watched for the appropriate symptoms--diarrhea, vomiting, etc., but thankfully there were none and we live to celebrate another hospital-free day.

However, after discovering that Roman had opened the "childproof" bottle of vitamins with a pair of scissors my joy turned to despair. Is nothing safe in the house? After all, this was his third attempt at ignorant suicide; I thought I had learned my lesson and taken all the necessary precautions to keep danger away from my son. Apparently he takes that as a challenge to find the danger himself.