You updated at last! What does Jesse want with Alex I wonder? And will Tsuniko be alright? If Alex finds out will he care I wonder? Update soon so I can find out!

Andrea chapter 4 . 7/30/2004

Great story line so far! The depth of your characterization is quite impressive for such a young writer. I must say this is definitely the best story that I have read from a friend of mine. Even so there are a few minor quirks... Grammer. There are a few lines that could be better written and places where commas and other such punctuation are much needed. Besides that try changing up your wording a little more. Sometimes you tend to repeat yourself but it is nothing too major. Keep writing and sending me these amazing stores!

cosmo chapter 2 . 7/21/2004

keep up the good work. you manage to keep the action going and add an air of mystery and its only the first episode

I've read your story up to this chapter and I find very interesting, I think I'll add you to my list and see what happens next. It'll be interesting to see where the DBZ stuff fits into all of this. Update soon!

Ok... two problems here... You stole (with permission) my style of disclamers... :P and yet there is no adverstisement for my fic... you evil evil man you.
:P
Ok that aside. This is an interesting start. How it plays into the DBZ universe is going to be very intersting.
will pay close attention to the development.

AlbertG chapter 1 . 2/18/2004

Not bad! I was doing a quick analysis of your writing style and it has matured. You have a good grasp characterization in your writing whcih many people do not. I look forward to the next chapter.
Talk to ya, Albert

Master Penguin chapter 1 . 1/12/2004

Alright man, that was good for a first chapter. So what is the deal with big chick being able to kick dude but so easily? Is all of this gonna be explained l8r? Who is Alex/Xaranthras really? This is a bit dry... but has potential - after all it is a first chapter. Lookin forward to the next one. Post Quick ;)

Well... I like how you went indepth into the characters, but, ah, forgive me for saying this, but:
Where's the DBZ part?

Eric chapter 1 . 1/2/2004

Very very interesting, I must say, and well written for your first posted story. I am quite impressed with the depth and development of the characters within the story. The plot isn't boring, and it keeps you wondering what will happen next. I can't wait for the next installment of this masterpiece in the making.
Keep up the good work!