OK, what? Does Deutsch really not know the difference between a Pontiac Solstice and a Corvette? Even worse, the difference between a Chevy HHR and a Chrysler PT Cruiser? Seemingly not according to these screenshots (1, 2) of the agency's site on which they label the Soltice a Corvette and an HHR a T Cruiser.

Guys, guys, guys! Do we have to bring out that shot of Donny in a Speedo again and slap you upside the head with his junk to wake you up?

Imagine if Ghost Writer made friends with Cirque de Soleil, and then they went on a Russian tour with hula hoops, tennis racquets and Day-Glo underpants.

Got all that? Good. You're probably picturing Kazan Celebration, which starts out enigmatic, quietly lovely and culturally reverent. Then there's this explosion of acrobats and enthralled villagers similar to the Mystere Las Vegas show.

The piece was put together by Adore Creative, which helped Kazan win a bid at the 2013 Summer Universiade (which Adore calls "the second biggest sporting event in the world after the Olympics"). Also see World of Kazan, where an English-speaking narrator depicts Kazan as a fairy-tale locale.

Who said funeral have to be boring, weepy events that continuously follow the same routine? Not MyWonderfulLife, a newish online funeral planning service where people can make their funeral wishes known ahead of time and make it easy for those left planning the funeral with guidance as to what kind of funeral the person prefers.

A new commercial celebrates this so-it-yourself approach making it clear anything can happen at a funeral.

So like yea. Angela and I have been on Twitter forever and we love it. We find news. We find insight. We share ideas. We offer opinion. We discuss advertising stuff. We find out who's saying what at conference before anyone else does. And we hang with the AdWeek crew. (We'd happily hang with the Ad Age crew if they were actually on Twitter.)

So follow us. Yes, follow us and find out just what the hell Angela and I do all day long. Angela's at @luckthelady and I'm at @stevehall.

Oh, and if you just want Adrants headlines via Twitter, follow @adrants.

So if you're Verizon FiOS, what do you do to take advantage of the tools that have made media social? You create Twittering Teddy, of course. Twittering Teddy, cobbled together by My Home 2.0 Techno-Gurus, is an animatronic teddy bear that speaks people's Twitter streams through a live Ustream feed. You can friend Teddy on Twitter and here him speak your tweets as well as the tweets of your friends.

Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books that pretty much let you decide whether you'd die two, or twenty, pages into the story? Visit Twix.com for a grown-man version of the game. You won't get to ride any unicorns, but if you're lucky, you might get to ride something else.

The adventure is called "Get the Girl." The protagonist convinces a girl to come home with him by inviting her over to blog about the media. (That gets me every time.) But there are obstacles! Mull your options over with Twix. (Helpful hint: at the very end, pick "Be honest." You'll dig what happens.)

Next week, and for the first time, the most reputed names in advertising history are congregating in Manhattan. They include David Ogilvy, Phyllis Robinson, George Lois, Mary Wells Lawrence, and Shirley Polykoff.

And even if you can't face most of them in the flesh, you get the chance to revisit the ads, posters, books, spots and interviews that made them memorable.

The exhibit covers the lives and work of copywriters and art directors that influenced buying habits in the past 80 years. The event is sponsored by the One Club, and we'll be covering the debut early next week.

Hope to see you there. View a full description of Real Men and Women in Mad Ave. in the Adgabber Events calendar.

Oh look! Trojan really does care how women feel during sex. Oh sure, they make all kinds of ribbed condoms and stuff but if a lady's man can't last long enough for all that ribbed goodness to do its thing, it's all kind of pointless. Enter Trojan Vibrating Touch, a battery-powered finger widget that delivers...um...personalized pleasure and is pretty much guaranteed to last as long as it takes...unlike the aforementioned male-powered method of stimulation.

Well if you ever want to watch the world's longest, most boring dissertation (um, blatherific business babble) on in-text advertising, give this Cannes Fringe video a watch in which Asa Bailey interviews Vibrant Media CMO Sean Finnegan who goes on and on and on and fucking on about the insanity that is in-text advertising.