Modern Dating Advice for Smart Singles

6 Simple Steps To Masterful Flirting

Flirting is your best defense against anyone who has a guard up against you. It’s the first step to building trust with a stranger and it gives you permission to engage with whoever you’re speaking with on a deeper level.

I love to flirt. It’s my favorite form of communication and I rarely limit who is at the mercy of my special formula of smile, hair toss, wink and repeat. I was once asked if there is such a thing as excessive flirting? In my opinion, no. If it’s excessive or your behavior is somehow seen as negative or gratuitous, you’re just doing it wrong.

So what is the key to flirting?

Studies have said it’s sending the right message, to the right person in a manner that is understood. You don’t want your intentions to be misconstrued but you certainly don’t want it to go over your potential dates’ head. So how can you flirt, send the right message and walk away with a pleasant experience?

It’s a little easier than you think, yeah I know I always say that but this time it’s totally true.

Positive eye contact– Shifty eyes are sometimes seen as the behavior of a liar. If you want to come across as authentic and genuine learn to keep up at least a two second stare with whoever you’re speaking with. If looking someone in the eyes is difficult, consider practicing in the mirror or with a good friend. If that doesn’t work shift your stare from the eyes, to the nose then the mouth, finally back to the eyes.

Smiling- I’m incredibly self-conscious of my nowhere near perfect teeth but I love to smile and laugh because it makes me feel good. There are few of us who are in so much suffering that we can’t afford to crack a smile. Life is tough enough without us holding our good nature from each other. Nothing builds trust and good rapport like a genuine smile.

Compliment- If you are engaged in a conversation you should try to notice unique features of the person you’re speaking with. Compliments are easy because there is always something pleasant to say about all of us. Even if you try, “You’re so easy to talk to.” Think creatively and of course be honest but compliments are the one thing that everyone enjoys hearing.

Confirmation– Flirting is about creating positive feelings with whoever you’re talking with. If you creep people out or piss them off, you fail. Positive statements are hard to come by in most adult conversations. It’s so easy to start complaining, use egregious amounts of sarcasm and play the misery loves company card. Instead, use statements that affirm you’re listening, “What an interesting perspective.”

That your compliments are genuine, “You really do have shiny teeth.”

And that your intentions are on the up and up, “Thanks,” A short word that goes a long way.

Suggestion- When you want something in life you can’t just downright ask. You’re likely not to get it. In flirting when I want a free coffee or a possible upgrade, I have to make the suggestion, even if it has nothing to do with directly what I’m after, the simple suggestion, “Can I have that, will you give me this…” etc.

Close- I don’t encourage chitchat. Not when you are interested in getting to know a potential date a little better. I can’t stress enough the purpose of flirting: to have a positive interaction. When you walk away from the interaction there should be smiles on both parties’ faces. You’re either smiling because you successfully flirted, or you successfully flirted and it resulted in a date or possible free scone. You want to seal the deal and that includes getting what you want from the interaction with ease.

You have to end the conversation congruent to how it started. If you spent time in the checkout line talking about mangos, don’t ask your cashier for a date.

Flirting is a process that moves quickly, it’s simply talking with intention. You have to be aware from the moment you say hello that your exchange can make a difference. Don’t weigh it down with expectation but don’t overlook the opportunity to create chemistry or make a connection.

You can change someone’s day with a smile and great attitude or totally ruin it by being a jerk. Flirting is empowering, don’t deny others a positive interaction, it all starts and ends with you.

I thoroughly loved your tips on if you want to keep your man.. Though I myself comes from the men fraternity yet could not refrain from liking the minute detail you explained as I Could have easily relate to each point 😄. That's why , the marriage kills the romance because of those bad traits.

Miss Solomon - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

Thank you for your comment, and for reading. My advice is this. A man should be cherishing and chasing you. A man should be worried that he will lose you if he doesn't show you attention. If a man isn't treating you like you're valuable to him, don't stay with him. Show your own value by leaving him alone. You don't need anyone in your life who makes you feel like you're second class. I hope this was helpful.

Miss Solomon - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

Thank you so much for your comment and thank you for reading! I know this is easy to say but the best way to approach men that you like is to remove yourself from the outcome. Yes, you want a date, and I think it's great that you took the initiative but don't beat yourself up about the outcome. The circumstances might not be right. There is one way I recommend taking action in dating to see results. It's a simple process - Step 1. Write down 3 possible scenarios A,B,C - A being if nothing happens, B being if it something happens but not what you expected, C being if your ideal results happen. Then try to imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Prepare yourself for no response, for a rejection, or for a date. If you're prepared for any outcome, its easy to take action. Just don't NEED anything certain result. Just take action because you're a brave person willing to take risks, and go after what you want. Instead of worrying about the result, just focus on taking action. It's not about what happens, it's about taking the action, accepting the result as feedback and moving forward with new information. I think you did a great thing! and the action itself means more than the result because you showed confidence. If you don't get a date, that's ok. But don't stop right taking action where you can. I hope this was helpful.

Danica - 5 Bad Habits That Chase Men Away

there is this guy who flirts with me, shows all 32 teeth when smiling at me and sighs around me a lot, well I do like him and think the feeling is mutual, but ive asked men out in the past and that did NOT turn out as I had hoped. but I decided to give it another shot by giving my crush a Christmas card and writing in it the following "me and you coffee with my name/number" and if he is interested he has my digits. is that too much or not.

lizzy - He Hasn’t Called, Now What…

i want u to advice me ma.there is dis guy v bn lvn for d past 10yrs i lata told im my filns and he agri to date ever since dat day he hasnt called or text v bn the 1 textn and calln.what can i do