Home comes to him for the holidays

Saturday

It's the night before Thanksgiving, and his wife, Tasha, is on the other line. She's having an issue with their youngest son, Dashawn, who is like his father -- Flagler Palm Coast's boys basketball coach -- in almost every way.

His family is 1,000 miles away, but McDaniel handles the situation the best way he can. He uses a soft but direct tone in speaking with the 7-year-old.

"Dashawn has had times where he struggles," Tasha said. "He's a little clone of Gary."

Dashawn and his older brother by 11 months, Dezmond, haven't adjusted well to Dad being away. It is a sacrifice that the whole family has made the last five months.

"Dez looks like me and has a lot of my traits, but Shawn, for some reason, there's a real closeness there that, if I'm not around, it affects him quite a bit," Gary McDaniel said. "That's always a concern."

Since McDaniel left Ohio in August to become a guidance counselor and coach at FPC, the entire family has had to adjust. They were happy in McDaniel's hometown of Cincinnati, but when the 46-year-old accepted the position in Palm Coast, Gary and Tasha figured they had two options.

"The first option was we all move right away, and the second option was to transition here -- and we thought the second option was better for a lot of reasons," Gary McDaniel said. "For the lack of a better term, we kind of a had a little probationary period in our minds so we could just kind of check it out and find our way."

The boys were settled in their school and home, and a job transfer for Tasha was something that would require time to set up. Adding to the equation was the economy, which didn't lend itself to the family's Cincinnati home selling quickly.

So, as a result, Tasha and the boys have stayed in Cincinnati for the past five months while Gary established roots in Flagler County.

"I've gotten to know personalities and procedures and the like," he said. "I've made a semi-life for me, but it's not the life I want. There's still something missing."

That something has been his wife of 12 years and their two sons. That recently changed -- at least, temporarily -- as Christmas arrived a week ago for the McDaniels.

Tasha and the boys flew into Jacksonville on Dec. 18, and that evening they watched Gary coach the Bulldogs against Jacksonville Providence.

"That's all I want, to see them walk from the gate," McDaniel said before their arrival. "I'll be a happy man."

The McDaniels will spend two weeks together -- and maybe more if their house sells soon -- over the holiday break. But more likely, Tasha and the boys will go back to Cincinnati, and the family will have to go back to the ways of being a family that they've become accustomed.

"The toughest part is just not having Dad around," Dezmond said. "I miss playing around with him. The touch iPod helps, so we can see him."

That use of modern technology -- the FaceTime webcam application on the iPod touch -- has allowed the family to see one another from afar, but McDaniel has also been able to see the family from close quite a bit too.

Thanks to a friend who retired from Delta, McDaniel has been able to fly home bi-weekly -- 12 times, he estimates -- to visit. He attended an Orlando Magic game the night before Thanksgiving, and he surprised his family by showing up on their doorstep Thanksgiving morning.

"That was probably one of the biggest surprises to me, other than proposing to me, that he's ever popped on me," Tasha said. "I was just cooking breakfast for the kids and they were kind of complaining that Dad was gone and we were having a conversation about Dad.

"When we opened the door, we just screamed. Every time we pick him up at the airport (the kids) are so antsy. They can't wait."

Because of their closeness, it has been the greatest challenge they've ever faced. Tasha has essentially had to be a single parent.

"I have to be strong for my kids' sake, but doing this has given me an even greater understanding for what single mothers go through," Tasha said. "I'm parenting alone a lot."

Most of Gary McDaniel's time has been obligated by learning the nuances of his new place of employment, while also rebuilding a basketball team that took a 4-7 record into the Christmas break.

"He talks about (his family) a little bit, but he wants us to know that we're his family too even though they live in a different state," FPC senior basketball player Brandon Berry. "He wants to bond with us and have us be his family because he's going to be here for a long time."

McDaniel's time has been, predominantly, spoken for, but his family is always just a phone call away.

"It's been a challenge," he said. "It's tough not being there every day and in their every day lives with basketball games, soccer games, singing in the choir at school, going to church, waking them up and feeding them; the whole deal."

While the family is in Florida, they plan on doing a little house hunting and hope to spend a day at Disney World -- and Gary plans to catch up on being Dad, which is more than OK, Tasha said.

"I told Gary that I will shift the parental duties probably 99 percent to him. I'll catch up on some reading that I've been wanting to do," she said. "It's been tougher on the boys. They're very close to their dad and they really miss him.

"We made a countdown calendar and they marked it off every single day. We're incredibly excited about spending two weeks with him in Florida."

And come May, house sold or not, the McDaniels will be here for good.

"Wild buffaloes won't get in the way," McDaniel said. "They're still coming."

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