Tuesday, 22 July 2008

It isn’t her hormones that made her like thatIt was Kipling, Kentucky, McVitie and GreggsBut we’re not sposed to say that the woman is fatTho there’s less on my body than one of her legsWe have to say curvy or fuller in figureWe can’t say humungous we have to say bigger

Cos this is – PC World

It isn’t her thyroid or one of her cellsIt’s simply the fact that she eats like a pig12 curries a day is the reason she smells8 burgers at once explains why she’s so bigBut the way things are now we can’t just tell her straightThat her 5 chins are thanks to the 5 cows she ate

Cos this is – PC World

Her arms are like jellied hams, legs are like porksHer breasts are so huge that they rest on her kneesHer facial fat shakes like a quake when she talksHer arse sucks your hand like frogspawn if you squeezeShe needs the damn truth but we tell polite liesShe’s too bloody fat but we say she’s outsizeAnd so she’ll keep eating like that, ‘til she dies

Saturday, 12 July 2008

Once upon a time there lived a young girlA princess although she was raised as a pauperBorn into dirt but really a pearlA diamond, a gem, a blue-blooded daughterDescended from princes whose reign is now deadBut of course no-one knew that this girl was a treasureAs a baby the princess was dropped on her headAs she grew men who knew her IQ was low measureUsed the young girl for their own secret pleasure

She put the cum into Cymru all rightA few blokes each day and a few more each nightA Welsh Cinderella who’d let any fellaTry her for size if the payment was right

Carbuncled uncles and toad-featured teachersMisused Angharad, this young girl so preciousBecause she was simple these perverted creaturesBribed her with Mars Bars and packs of RefreshersAnd tho it was seedy, the young girl was greedyShe liked getting sweets in return for her useSweets turned to cash as the blokes got more needyThey felt if they paid then it wasn’t abuseNot much, being tight, but it kept the girl loose

She put the cum into Cymru okayA few blokes each night and a few more each dayA Cardiff born beauty who’d give all her bootyTo any old beast who both asked and could pay

She should have grown up into a princessInstead she was selling herself on the streetsShe would undress for a tenner or lessSixteen but she’d been on a million back seatsHer low IQ gave her a baby-like smileWhich most of her clients found very disarmingThe most popular girl on the Riverside mileShe made every customer feel like Prince CharmingExcept that she screwed at a rate quite alarming

She put the cum into Cymru its trueThere wasn’t much else that the poor girl could doA celtic snow white who wasn’t quite rightIn the head though in bed she still knew what to do

In stories a princess will often get wedAnd live happily ever afterBut this one was dropped on her head as I saidHer tale ends in tears not laughterPure-bred Angharad, unread, underfedCaught a disease in some sick fucker’s bedIt spread, now she’s deadAnd she has gone to the hereafterSo, unhappily, you’ll never shaft ‘er.