Why You Shouldn’t Care About The 2016 Election

The 2016 election is the biggest piece of trash the American media machine has squeezed out in a long time. Usually, I’ve got no problem voting the thin red party line, even if the candidate eats babies. Screw Team Blue, am I right?

But 2016 is different. 2016 is the end of American politics as we know it. I’m going to let you in on a little secret the GOP and DNC don’t want you to think about: No matter who is elected in 2016, America is fucked.

Do you know why?

C.R.E.A.M.
-Wu-tang

We no longer have a say in who runs our country. Money does. The greatest country on Earth has been reduced to choosing its leaders based on the lesser of two evils. By “lesser of two evils,” I mean “the candidate who doesn’t smile while sucking Satan’s dick.” The fact that it’s down to Trump or Hillary makes us all look very dumb as voting citizens. One of these two turds will stain the porcelain throne of America forever.

This election is a heavyweight smash-fest between a thoroughly used Fleshlight and a dildo with dead, corroded batteries. In the Blue corner! Hillary, the personification of pure evil and corporate whoredom. In the Red corner! Trump, the Fukushima of finance and champion of all things stupid.

I honestly can’t believe this shit is real. Such a perfect blend of comedy and tragedy. The two choices are at opposite extremes of horrible and neither one deserves to be on the ballot. I’m disgusted that this is what my great nation has devolved into.

This is not the first time the GOP has fumbled in the redzone. They can’t seem to pull a decent candidate out of their clown car primary system and the Donald has trumped even the GOP this time around. The GOP still desperately clings to creepy Ted serial killer Cruz. At least Bernie bit the bullet and finally endorsed Hillary (the plan all along).

Cruz, Kasich, and Bush are still playing tug-o-war with each other’s dongs in hopes that Trump will drop out in the final hour because his presidential campaign is just a scam to triple his net worth by selling a bunch of dumb Trump paraphernalia to trailer park people. I feel completely alienated as a Republican. My party offers me no reprieve and they leave me with Trump as my champion in the fight against the great dragon. WTF is this bullshit, GOP? Why have you forsaken me?

This whole election is a circle jerk that’s manifested into reality. Luckily, I have faith that neither of these puppets really matter. If elected, Trump would just turn America into Trump TV and Hillary would get morbidly obese from sucking SuperPAC dick all day long. That’s it. Nothing else will happen. Business will go on as usual because business runs everything, especially governments.

The people who really run things are making a wager for 2016. That’s what this election is all about. They’re testing the limits of what we’ll tolerate. They’re checking to see how dumb we really are. We’re heavily armed, after all. We’re not a people that historically tolerates a high degree of government fuckery.

This election is proof that we don’t need paid-off politics anymore. It’s proof that both parties are incompetent — or worse — corrupt to the core. Neither party represents anything that matters anymore. It’s all the same Citizens United blood money.

This election is going to be a supernova of voter alienation. Half the left hates Hillary and half the right hates Trump. The aftermath of this electoral shit storm will tear a schism so deep into both parties, the stupidity will echo throughout elections to come.

In the vacuum created between red and blue, a real third party will finally have room to get its shit together. They are our only hope for any kind of unbiased government in the future. At the very least, a third party would force the GOP and DNC to offer real, meaningful candidates. The trend of choosing the lesser of two evils has got to end. The trend of corporate campaign control has got to go. Trendy private interests are ruining this country.

The 2016 election is unimportant in the present, but infinitely valuable for the future. 2016 will set the stage of hatred necessary to propel a third party into inevitable relevance. In November, I’m voting for Gary Johnson, not because I particularly give a shit about Gary Johnson, but because I hate him the least out of all the possible candidates. If this is how we’re gonna pick our shit, so be it. I choose the least of three evils.

I’d rather use my vote as an act of faith for an alternative, any alternative. I can’t vote for Hillary or Trump and sleep at night, so I guess voting for Johnson is better than not voting at all. A vote for Gary Johnson is a vote for None of the Above. I also like him because he openly calls trump a pussy.

Probably an unpopular opinion on this site, but we really should make becoming a citizen a lot easier than it is. That shit takes years to complete, I would know, my dad immigrated here from Ireland, and nearly got deported when I was 3. As long as you keep making sure they’re not terrorists, I don’t see the problem with making the path to citizenship easier. The government benefits because they get taxes from them, and they benefit because they get to be citizens. Just my 2 cents, I’ll take my laps now.

don’t stay home, go and vote for reasonable candidates down the ticket. The democrats are counting on people like us staying home because of Trump, and think they can win back the senate and close the gap in the house. If Hillary wins, theres a big difference between Hillary with a democratic congress and a republican congress.

Trevor, you twiggy alien-armed fuck, you are right. I was just expressing my frustrated. I would rather see 4 years of republican congress than a democrat one. Even if that bitch wins she won’t get shit done and I can wait another 4 years until Paul Ryan runs. Until then give me some smokes!

These libtards wouldn’t support him once they actually learn of his ideas regarding economic reform. I’m a South Park republican and I lean libertarian most of the time but I know most of these boners wouldn’t like the idea of cutting entitlements and completely eliminating corporate income tax.

If we could cut federal spending to the point where we can pay down the national debt with little to zero federal corporate taxes, I don’t see why we wouldn’t. It’s just a matter of getting to that point

As a libertarian, he’s one of the few libertarian candidates that doesn’t make us look like basement dwelling, conspiracy theory loving crazies. And most of his economic and political policies aim to ween off the status quo at a gradual level

Agreed i think its the perfect situation though. While some of Johnson’s ideas are slightly radical (The “FairTax” is completely impractical) his growing support will give credence to the idea of a small government, individual liberty candidate in the future, provided Trump hasn’t started world war 3 by then

Vote for him anyway! Even if he doesn’t win it takes him swinging one state either way for the major parties to look at his supporters and say “holy fucking shitballs we need to listen to these people.” THAT IS A WIN! They want us to vote for a “lesser evil” based on fear? Let’s use their fear of losing their jobs to force them to be American as opposed to Republican or Democrat. A vote for Gary Johnson is a vote telling the major parties to drop their cocks and serve the American people as George Motherfucking Washington intended!

If you aren’t in a potential swing state that’s polling really close come election time, the odds of your vote deciding the election are essentially zero. Therefore, there is no reason to base your vote entirely on a candidate’s chances, or because you want to keep one candidate out of office slightly more than the other one. You may as well just vote for the person you most agree with

This election is really no different than other years. The republican candidate panders to their base by playing off their xenophobia and racism while the democrat panders to their base by being more politically correct than the republican and by promising voters free shit.

Meanwhile the Green Party and libertarian candidates sit on the sidelines without an icecube’s chance in hell because their policies would actually upend the status quo, and we can’t have that.

I don’t get the whole “anti-establishment” thing, on both sides. Both Trump and Bernie people keep talking about how shitty everything is, last time I checked this country is literally the best place to live since the beginning of human civilization. That doesn’t mean it’s perfect but I’m not buying that we need some kind of radical revolution, and as well off fraternity men I’m definitely surprised to see people on this site bashing the “status quo”

Tl;dr This country’s pretty sweet so the whiny liberals and the angry Trump nuts can both shut the fuck up

have of this i could relate to, the other half read like someone who writes conspiracy theories to me. im starting to feel like were all just equally as confused when it comes to politics, and its just become a popular this to say “this election is a shit show” we forget that we vote trump and hillary to become the front runners. they obviously had our faith up to this point. im not sure why theres so much animosity towards trump. i support him simply because he believes we need to take car of ourselves first: punishing manufactures building over seas, id be happy to buy nile and apple products made here. and limiting our boreder from everyone not just mexicans.. he seems like something we may need at the moment. i also support that he did this from outside the political system everyone bitches about politicians bwing corrupt, then we get someone not from within the political system and we bitch that hes unqualified. Cant have it both ways.

Wow. I can’t believe a site that supposed to be about fraternity men (who are supposed to be held to a higher standard in society) as we represent leaders and gentlemen is telling us not to care about an election. First off this is one of the most important elections of our time. The future of our nation depends on it. Our next president will be appointing new justices that will shape the future of our country for our kids and grandkids. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you your vote is not important and that the election doesn’t matter. What a bunch of soft kooks over here at TFM. Lame.

And to the never Trump people. Grow up. Yea he might not be ideal, yea he might be a little outlandish at times, but he caress. He truly cares, and he has far better visions for this nations future than Hillary. Clinton could turn the entire Supreme Court around and we’ll have extremely liberal leftist voting on things like Gun control, abortion, Heath insurance, minimum wage, etc. that will not only effect you, but also your kids and grandkids. It does matter.

Really, he has better visions? Where are his specifics? Oh wait. He has none. I’m not convinced he’s better on a single issue you listed than Hillary. All of those issues are easier to fix than what he will do. You grow up and vote for a real candidate. I’m voting for Gary Johnson, and you can fuck off.

A little outlandish at times? He’s questioned the need for nuclear restraint, undermines NATO (i.e. our troops forward operating positions in Europe), and went after a Gold Star family. The man is unfit to be President. Oh and I promise you… he couldn’t care less

Out of all the issues with trump, the nuclear thing worries me the most. One of Hillary’s biggest negatives is her risky and interventionist foreign policy positions, and so instead of running someone against her on that, we run a guy who doesn’t get why we don’t just nuke people.

i dont believe trump actually supports some of the things hes said. i truly think its part of his strategy. if you watch his speeches/beliefs from a year ago to now he says outlandish things and slowly tapers away from them. the outlandish statements draw the media to him which he then uses to attack his opponents. he got what amounted to roughly 2billion of free media coverage and for someone with less pacs/backing than the other candidates this was clearly a great strategy

Yeah, but asking in a closed door meeting 3 separate times why we can’t use nukes is scary as fuck. There’s also a quote from him where he says that he won’t take nuking Europe off the table. I think that hillary is awful, and she’ll never get my vote, but Trump is objectively more dangerous to national security.