Ejaculation is the act of ejecting or discharging semen (come or cum) from the body.

Orgasm is intense, pleasurable muscle spasms centered in the genitals.

Most men are used to experiencing both at the same time. However, it’s possible for men to experience orgasm without ejaculation.

Since ejaculation is not required, multiple orgasm is quite possible for men of any age. Yet, it’s not something you can do, achieve or simply make happen.

Essential ingredients for male multiple orgasm

Here are 4 essential ingredients to put you on track toward experiencing this for yourself.

First, complete relaxation is more important than full erection

Because an erection feels so good, men often focus on maintaining it. Typically, this is done by tensing pelvic muscles (in the crotch area or lowest part of the abdomen). Sometimes men also clench muscles in the stomach and buttocks region. Usually this tensing occurs with little conscious awareness.

The skill that’s missing is the ability to fully relax all the muscles in your groin and pelvic region. This runs contrary to what most men have learned and habitually practiced sexually.

This level of deep relaxation is similar to what makes anal touch and prostate massage so enjoyable. While tense, you might get a mental charge from these activities. However, you can’t enjoy their potential for immense physical pleasure unless you are fully relaxed.

And this deep relaxation – even if it means a soft penis – allows you to experience more orgasmic pleasure.

Second, place attention on your body (not on thoughts, emotions, porn or fantasies)

While there’s nothing wrong with using fantasy and porn to get off, or using masturbation as an escape from stress or to fall asleep, these things won’t necessarily lead to increased pleasure or to becoming a multi-orgasmic man.

The idea of doing nothing but paying attention to your body is challenging for many men.

We have been heavily socially conditioned to focus on a partner, fantasy or porn. Anything but paying unwavering attention to our own bodies!

While partner focus, porn, fantasy and using sex as an escape can all have a place in healthy eroticism, they take your attention away from your body. This limits your capacity for level of feeling that is required to become multi-orgasmic.

The biggest danger here is of having no conscious awareness of where your attention is placed. If you’re not aware of it, you can’t shift it.

Further complicating things, at work and in other everyday settings we are also heavily influenced to keep our focus away from our body – on others, or on our thoughts.

To experience the most sexual pleasure requires letting go of the mind’s thoughts and bringing your awareness “below the neck” into your body.

The attention placed on our body also needs to be compassionate and loving. Issues with self-esteem and body image worries can get in the way of sensual body awareness and pleasure. If this is your situation one helpful place to start is with a daily practice of sensate focus: intentionally placing your attention on your body and its sensations for a few minutes a day – even when you don’t feel like doing so.

Third, consciously change your masturbation habits

For most men, to open the door to the possibility of becoming multi-orgasmic requires a change in their masturbation habits.

Total relaxation of pelvic muscles and placing full attention on the body goes against deeply entrenched past habits and powerful social conditioning.

From the day they first learn to masturbate, most boys learn to be secretive, to hurry, and to focus on getting to the ejaculation. This runs contrary to the slow, unrushed and goal-free pace that leads to multiple orgasm.

It also goes against what many have unconsciously learned about the very meaning of masculinity. Grit your teeth and muscle your way to a goal. Tense up and make things happen.

To change these unconscious patterns and beliefs requires creating new erotic habits.

Changing masturbation habits is something that even more skilled orgasmic engineers need to periodically revisit to keep things fresh and exciting.

The same way you change any habit or learn a new skill. It’s the same way you learned to walk, ride a bicycle and drive a car.

Lots of practice.

More importantly, lots of self-aware practice.

Just watch a baby learning to walk. His attention is all on himself as he tries, walks a step, falls and tries again. No self-criticism there. Sure, the experience of falling may be scary and lead to expression and release of an emotion (crying). But he pays close and curious attention to his experience. What works? What doesn’t? What does this walking thing feel like? And, he keeps on practicing.

Take time for some regular sessions where your goal and focus is body awareness and relaxation rather than getting off.

If you’d like to learn more – including learning from explicit, nude video demonstrations – then take the Masturbation Engineering video class where you can learn the 9 Golden Keys to Mindful Masturbation. (This is an affiliate link for a class produced by my colleague, leading sexologist Joseph Kramer.)

Try it Yourself. Your cock will thank you.

For most men, experiencing multiple orgasm is not something that happens quickly. It requires developing a different relationship with your body, and consistent practice.

Many men have reported it’s worthwhile and immensely pleasurable.

There’s nothing like trying it yourself. And, what could be more fun than experimenting with pleasure?

Comments

I learned to have multiple orgasms a number of years ago quite by accident.

It was then that I learned that orgasms and ejaculation are do not necessarily have to occur together.

I find the non ejaculatory orgasms I experience last longer than the 10 second ejaculatory ones.

I learned to have multiple orgasms by the procedure called :”edging.” And my technique is similar to edging.

I l;earned the edging could actually produce an orgasm without ejaculation. I was once told that I had an inejacualtion, where only sperm cells were released (not semen) within the body to be assimilated when absorbed.

And I found repeating these”edgings,” for lace of a better word perhaps 10 to 12 times in succession, (each with one of these orgasms without ejaculation) would result in a “hovering” sensation experience, where the orgasmic sensation would extend beyond the glans of my penis to a whole body orgasm. I have be.told this is due to a release of endorphin, serotonin and dopamine to cause this euphoria — not unlike the Big Draw, associated with tantra.

As you pointed our relaxing the entire body is very important as is focusing. Meditation can be useful with focusing. as is knowing when to stop any manipulation of your penis. I stop at the very edge, when the erection completely subsides, but quickly recovers to repeat the manipulating. It is not necessary to have a complete “steel rod”: erection to achieve multiple and full body orgasms.

Thanks, Pual. Yes, a full erection is not essential. It’s useful for a guy to know where his “edge” is, to know the physical sensations that indicate to stop stimulation.

While an approach like this can work for some guys, is that for many it becomes just as goal forused (aiming to get to the edge) as getting to an ejaculation was. This high emphasis on the goal can distract from the full relaxation and enjoyment of the sensations pre-orgasm during the high arousal phase.