One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Matt: Attorney At Blah

33 year old Matt Quinlan is an attorney from San Francisco, California. In case you ever forget that fact, he runs the Law Offices of Matt J. Quinlan, otherwise known as MJQLAW which I'll bet you $1000 is also his license plate. Here's how his cbs.com bio reads:

"I'm very proud to make a difference in my clients lives at the Law Offices of Matt J. Quinlan. Matt J. Quinlan, attorney at law, is someone you can count on. Adventure turns me on as does this handy dandy MJQLAW coffee mug available on my website MyNameIsMattAndI'mALawyer.com for the low low price of $29.95. I bring a lot to the table as far as Survivor is concerned. These" Law Offices of Matt J. Quinlan" mousepads double nicely as head pillows."

Let's see if I'm right...

*burp* I shouldn't have been playing that drinking game where you take a shot every time someone says the words "law", "lawyer", or "attorney". Not only am I three sheets to the wind, but I seem to have lost my pants between here and YouTube. It's chilly out and all I've got is this MJQLAW bumper sticker to keep me warm. Couldn't you have at least made a blanket Matt J. Quinlan, Attorney At Law?

"No one out here is gonna know that I'm a lawyer; I'm gonna withhold that from them, [your honor...]"

Something tells me o'le Matt J Quinlan, Esquire is going to blurt out something along the lines of, "Listen to me! I know how to build shelters, people! I'm Matt J Quinlan, attorney at law. That means I'm a lawyer! Also, totally related, I should handle ALL negotiations with the other tribe and Probst, since I'm a licensed litigator and practice law for a living where lawyering and legalize and contract scrutiny are VERY important. To recap, lawyer equals me!"

I hope he will not be saying, "I'm Matt J. Quinlan, Attorney at Law. Do you or a family member suffer from mesothelioma?" Gotta love the lawyers on this program, they are the snakes in the grass. Love em, love em, love em