Post by Horned Gramma on Jun 4, 2012 18:56:29 GMT -8

It took me like fifteen minutes to figure out how to order a pepperoni pizza on the internet while I was on acid the other night. It basically takes one click, but I was so concerned about fucking it up that I was really hung up on it.

Ordering a pizza is like the cruelest joke society can play on a fucking stoner. It gets to be like 1:00am, and the only only conceivable way to get food requires having a stranger come knock on your door in the middle of the night. Usually five minutes after you have completely forgotten that you ordered a pizza.

Post by Friendly Destroyer on Jun 4, 2012 18:58:16 GMT -8

I can manage basic math while incredibly stoned, and I am for shit at math. If you can count to 100, there is no reason for not being able to break a twenty dollar bill.

Although one time I filled out a job application at Taco Bell while on mushrooms (the person I was with was such a downer that this was the most appealing thing I could think to do while I was tripping) and I failed so miserably at the math part of the application that I never even got a call back.

I can't imagine why the fuck I would need to know how to do long division to work at a fucking Taco Bell. Maybe I wasn't even really at a Taco Bell. Who the fuck knows.

Haha. I've just handed my card and given my pin number to the dude before. Irresponsible.

Post by davers on Jun 4, 2012 19:25:48 GMT -8

Ordering a pizza is like the cruelest joke society can play on a fucking stoner. It gets to be like 1:00am, and the only only conceivable way to get food requires having a stranger come knock on your door in the middle of the night. Usually five minutes after you have completely forgotten that you ordered a pizza.

Hahaha, this. When My friends and I first started smoking pot we all hated talking to anyone other than ourselves so we would have to play video games to decide who orders the pizza and answers the door.

I really did love forgetting we ordered pizza and then having it show up what felt like hours later though.

Post by scough on Jun 5, 2012 7:54:26 GMT -8

My friend had a similar thing happen, he ordered some combination of food which according to the posted prices came up to $15. He gave the girl a 20 and she handed him $8 in change. I think the concession people at the Gorge are just really illiterate. It is out in the middle of redneck country, after all.

Post by Fig on Jun 5, 2012 11:25:14 GMT -8

I suppose it is time for me to recount some of my favorite stories from Sasquatch now that I have my office set up.

1) A Man and His Teddy Bear

So one night Lucy and I get back from the venue to our camp site and see a few of our camp mates sitting around in silence, exhausted from the day. I noticed one person who I had never seen before who was wearing sunglasses and his head was bobbing around like some Weekend at FD's house shit but thought nothing of it. We go to wander around and eventually return to the camp later in the night.

Upon returning, one of our camp mates goes to hit the sack in her tent only to come bounding out exclaiming that a stranger is in her tent. It is the random guy from earlier who we promptly escort out of the tent, ignoring his protests of "but I left my backpack, $800, and Teddy here!" as we ushered him away from our camp. He returned as we were still partying and the sun was coming up, much more sober than before and actually appeared to be a cool guy. He had no fucking clue where his tent was so once Lucy finally passed out, I grabbed some wizard sticks and lead my wizard apprentices on a march to find his tent and his god damn Teddy that he would not stop talking about (Gibbons and Know saw me leading this march at one point).

When we finally got to his tent, all of his stuff was there. All of it. Including a giant, 4' tall Teddy Bear. Now, we all got a kick out of this because why the fuck would he have that at Sasquatch with him. What an odd and funny thing to do, right? Well he didn't stop there; in fact, he pulled up a chair for the bear to sit in around his table with all of us (the one wizard's apprentice who had been giving us weed to smoke was forced to sit on the ground so Teddy could have a seat) at which point the dude fucking kneels in front of the bear and starts talking to it. At first I thought, "OK, well I guess this is still funny. This guy really wants to milk this joke" but as he continued, saying things like "I told you not to wander away from me!" and "I'm just so happy you're safe" for TWO FUCKING MINUTES. All of my apprentices and I began getting uncomfortable, only to witness him actually kiss the bear on the end of the snout. Dragon sugar had nothing to do with this, mind you...I think we simply had met the next Dahlmer.

Post by StormyPinkness on Jun 5, 2012 11:26:19 GMT -8

This is so true. When we used to walk around and trip a lot we would have our 'juice tickets' with us, which meant some cash so we didn't have to worry about paying with a card or anything when we wanted some juice or crackers or whatever.

Post by Fig on Jun 5, 2012 11:32:38 GMT -8

Prior to meeting the Teddy Bear guy, Lucy and I were rampaging through the camp ground on the Party Train (or Party Bus, as Lucy likes to call it for no good reason) when I met JJ:

After taking a few pulls off of his bottle of cheap wine, we parted ways.

The next morning, after putting Dahlmer to sleep, my apprentices and I continued our march through the camp ground. One of them suggested we head over towards the perimeter area near the trees (close to Camp HG) to find his friend. We approach a minivan, which I guess belonged to his friend, and he starts peering in it to try and wake up whoever is in the seat. That is when I noticed that the entire side of the van had been smashed by a car. It was bad. Not only that, but the windshield was destroyed. It looked like somebody had headbutted it (ala re:GEN acid guy) or hit it with a bat. The car was fucked and we started feeling uncomfortable about it so I turn to lead us away when suddenly I saw something move on top of the van. It was that guy, JJ. Still in his robe. Groaning like a dying giraffe. I gave him a hi-five and we were once more on our way.