It felt like a big budget high school play including the horrible overacting from han solo's son. it was much worse with the helmet on in the beginning than when he took it off. it's hard to be impressed by a fag wearing a motorcycle helmet trying waaaaay too hard to sound hardcore and throwing angry tantrums so we're supposed to be frightened of his character? it came off more like a childish tantrum not godzilla getting mad so we better back the fuck up!

and the fucking battle-hardened teenager running the new death star? UTTER FUCKING RIDICULOUSNESS. when he screamed his lines trying to sound tough it came off like a bullied teen screaming at people to back up or he will seriously fuck them up. just cringeworthy.

and speaking of teenage actors, is this the new trend now? using 20-year-olds to represent battle-hardened warriors? are you fucking kidding me? i'm supposed to think the dude who could star as the after face in a Proactiv commercial is some seasoned veteran? THEY HAVE NO FUCKING FOREHEAD LINES OR WRINKLES. every fucking officer is a babyfaced faggot. i'm supposed to be intimidated by young kids shouting their lines in a harsh tone? are you fucking serious? it's just as bad as dudes who play sports and yell "come on bro! fight me faggot!!!!" at the top of their lungs. people who know how to fuck people up aren't busy fighting them with their lung power and dramatic facial expressions. they just do it. temper tantrums equate to loss of control. that's why chicks scream and get dramatic and turn on the water works. they don't feel in control of the situation. we're only threatened by bad guys who know what the fuck they're doing, not bad guys who scream loud and get dramatic as a means of letting us know they're tough.

Side note: I feel like if a director doesn't know how to use CGI the right fucking way (for buildings, fires and background scenes) and abuses it like in this movie (what kind of faggot CGI monster was that tentacle mess chasing them thru the Millennium Falcan?) they should be executed so they can't infect the rest of Hollywood with their bullshit excuse for a movie. When you start subsituting CGI for actors and aliens and ship battles you're no longer creating a movie. You're creating a very expensive video game that everybody can tell is fake as fuck. The point of a movie is to escape, not to marvel at how good the CGI is getting. That's something video gamers do, not movie goers.

Back to this piece of garbage. I was hoping it was gonna be at least a decent movie. But after watching faggot cartoon trailer after faggot cartoon trailer after faggot cartoon trailer I started to panic thinking Disney LOVES retarded faggot low level 3 stooges hit me in the head or balls humor. Then the movie finally started and the opening anticipation was the best part. But the thing that stuck out to me the most was the shitty musical scores and fills. It looks like the guy in charge of the sound was just trying push a button and fill it with dramatic sound effects every now and then.

Go fucking watch the New Mad Max.. or hell even go watch the original star wars. THAT'S HOW YOU FUCKING USE MUSIC TO CREATE A MOOD. The music sends chills thru your bones when it's loud and crisp and used to tell the motherfucking story, not just make you focus on single disjointed events. There's no fucking story cohesion when you just use dramatic music, then pause for a long period, then back to dramatic music fill, then pause again. It feels like unedited movie footage that accidentally got put in the movie before editor had time to really work it into tight crisp cuts that create a unified story.

First of all let's address one of the biggest problems with the movie--the shitty sound editing, it wasn't fucking loud enough. I knew that right after hearing the first few music fills. Shitty as fuck. There was not one scene I can remember where I thought, GREAT FUCKING MUSIC FILL I GOT THOSE STAR WARS CHILLS. No such luck. And from that point on I knew I was in a shitty expensive movie with a lot of expensive useless CGI bullshit.

CGI is so fucking distracting when they spend hours making a complex looking thing like that 18 foot tall emperor character and all I'm thinking is "why the fuck is that REAL actor talking to a fucking video game created image?"

After that bitch killed Han Solo's son (which is a fucking understatement to say it was anti-climatic--i didn't give a motherfuck what happened to him, that's how bad the story was) I started thinking about leaving.. and did about 5 mins later. Before it even ended. I had nothing I could think of to look forward to while watching it. I didn't give a fuck about that stupid bitch pretending to be a jedi. I didn't give a fuck about Han Solo's son. I didn't give a fuck about the overall story. And probably one of the most annoying things of all, I didn't give a fucking cocksucking dick punch about all the easter egg references to the old Star Wars.

Fuck. Me.

We get it. They're going to introduce OG Solo and OG Leia to give us that Star Wars nostalgia we were all beating off to in anticipation of the movie. And how did they reward us? By CONSTANT-FUCKING-LY making clever smug i'm so cool i made a slick reference to the last star wars movie but don't worry if you missed it i'll keep fucking doing it every fucking 5 mins. Remember when people used to say "does anyone else remember when..." Yeah. That got fucking annoying right quick. Now imagine you're paying money for someone to CONSTANTLY repeat that phrase in your ear for 3 hours. Congratulations! You've just experienced the entire plot.

edit: oh shit! almost forgot one of the main fails going on in this movie: that nigger afro-american Finn! holy fuck when he first appeared i was worried this was going to turn into a Medea skit with his self-deferential "comedy" styling. once i heard the first Disney-sponsored moralizing out of his mouth:

and the fucking battle-hardened teenager running the new death star? UTTER FUCKING RIDICULOUSNESS. when he screamed his lines trying to sound tough it came off like a bullied teen screaming at people to back up or he will seriously fuck them up.

unlike you i didn't jerk off to the credits and go look up his actual age. and his age isn't even the point.

he may well be in his 30s but he looks like he's 15. i mean compare the sense of gravity you got from the first destroyer ship's officers encountered in the original star wars. they look much older.

the guys in the new version have ZERO FUCKING FOREHEAD LINES. everything is baby fucking smooth on their faces. if you can't tell the difference you must be like 10 years old and easily fooled by shiny objects.

1) It's called Google. That's the interweb searchy thing-ama-jobeer for you old timers. It took like 10 seconds to look it up. Ask the nurse at the retirement home to show you when you get computer time. And don't called it "the googles". Just call it google.

2) It is probably hard for you to not see that many people in your age group on the big screen. That's part of getting old. You just have to deal with it.

3) I hated that movie as well. But I didn't hate it because of "faggots" or "teenagers". I hated it because the plot was stupid, the plot holes were huge, it was a panderingfest, and a simple regurgitation of the first movie. That said, I didn't expect much going in considering the movie really is just one large advertisement for selling licenses and products.

Oh, you missed mentioning the best part! The Star Killer Base could never ever feasibly work as a weapon of mass destruction, as sucking in a sun the size of our own into a space smaller than earth would crush the planet and everybody on it. You also think Finn would've mentioned it sooner AS HE WORKED THERE AND HIS "AMAZING" character development for leaving the First Order...

Kylo Ren wasn't even the worst character. Yeah, he's a fucking little bitch, which is why I didn't give a shit when he got his ass handed to him by the Mary Sue. As soon as Rey was introduced, the movie careened down and plopped on the ground like sizzling shit. She solves every damn problem, manuveured the Falcon through a wrecked Star Destroyer after barely being able to take flight, understands the Falcon better than Han (LOL), pulls Jedi Mind Tricks out of nowhere and defeats a trained force user. Even Anakin and Luke needed several years of training to reach that point, and if you believe the mindwipe theory, SHE'D STILL WOULD'VE ONLY BEEN A SMALL KID WHEN THE ACADEMY FELL! I'm calling it right now, plot twist in the next movie is that she's Luke's daughter, revealed by yours truly, Kylo Ren.

This movie is just as terrible as the first two prequel movies, as they all have terrible acting, and Jar Jar alone equals the story progression in new one. Even though the prequels were shit, each movie was internally consistent and had a story you could understand; everyone but Lucas knew how to tell it. Sure you can enjoy this movie much like you can any of the Transformers movies, but it still doesn't make it good.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, is as awful as any fan-fiction you can find on Tumblr. Is this really what we gave the EU up for? We lost I Jedi, the cluster of novels centered around Jacen Solo turning into Darth Cadeus, Jaina, the Mandolorians, Thrawn, Darth Bane, Kyle Katarn, Mara Jade, for this?! It is well long past time to regard Star Wars as pivotal and iconic. This film is the result of fools not understanding that the magic and cultural phenomenon which came from the original resulted more from it's revolutionary special effects than its simple crafted story, and cannot be repeated ever again.

Holy shit OP is salty as fuck. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but damn man take a blood pressure pill before you pop a vessel. Shit man crack a beer, smoke some pot, shoot up or whatever the fuck you do to chill out. Getting this worked up over a fucking movie is just foolish.

Everyone's entitled to their wrong opinions I guess. I liked pretty much every aspect of the movie and I didn't even go into it as a huge Star Wars fan. The characters were interesting and their stories were entertaining. The fight scenes were cool, I loved the pilots, and the acting was great! Also, the actor who plays Kylo Ren is 32 years old.