Picks and Pans Review: Twins

What a concept: Cast pumped-up Arnold Schwarzenegger and pint-size Danny De Vito as twins separated at birth. Funny, huh? Sure is, hilarious even, for about five minutes. But the 102 minutes remaining are a stretch for one joke. The birth was the result of a scientific experiment in which six perfect males combined their sperm into a “genetic milkshake” used to impregnate a beautiful woman. Do not, please, expect a logical explanation. Mom, played in later years by St. Elsewhere’s Bonnie Bartlett, had been told that her sons died. Instead, Arnold had been whisked off to a deserted island to hone his bod, while Danny—who got the shallow end of the gene pool—had been dumped in an orphanage until he found a career as a smalltime hustler. When Am learns he has a bro, the good-hearted jumbo sets out for L.A. to find his sibling, reunite with Mom and become a family. Director Ivan (Ghostbusters) Reitman stuffs the gaping holes in the script by Timothy Harris and Herschel Weingrod with the usual ploys. There are sight gags (the boys in matching suits), sex jokes (Danny, tired of having a “230-lb. virgin” for a brother, sets up Arnold with knockout Kelly Preston), toilet humor, stolen goods, shoot-outs and shameless sentiment. Schwarzenegger and De Vito are likable throughout. This helps when the film or your mind wanders, which is way too often. (PG-13)