How to handle it when others try to take over your wedding

Wedding planning is not an easy feat, with thousands of decisions to make and hundreds of arrangements to complete. To add to all this stress is the fact that every wedding party will have at least one person, if not more, who tries to take over the reins and run your wedding for you. If you are a person who cannot say “NO”, you are in for a tough time when these people begin to run the show.

So, what do you do when you feel things are slowly slipping out of your hands? Do you just bite it down and let it be? Or do you put your foot down, and take back control? Let us look at how you can tackle such situations appropriately.

Tactically saying No

From choosing the wedding colors to fixing the guest list and booking vendors, you will have to listen to hundreds of opinions. Do listen to all of them, but do not commit without thinking it through. The best approach is to thank them for their help, and tell them that you will be in touch if you decide this is the option you want.

Remember that at some point of your wedding, you will have to disagree with someone. So, don’t feel guilty about it. Appreciate their well-intended advice or suggestion, but don’t feel you have to go with it if you aren’t comfortable. This is just how weddings work, realize it and it will be easier for you.

Work together and find middle ground

This is important when the people involved are contributing or very dear to you. For example, it may be your parents or in-laws. The fact that they are contributing may lead them to believe that they are entitled to make certain decisions. They may want to invite more of their guests than you would like to have at the wedding, or they may consider choosing the menu.

Although it is your wedding, in such a scenario you should remember that these people have earned the right to their opinion. An amicable solution is the best approach. Discuss several options where the menu is concerned and find one that both of you are satisfied with. Ask them to drop a few guests, while you too do the same. Compromise on matters that don’t have a huge impact, so that everyone is happy in the end.

Delegate tasks that are not crucial

Hand over few responsibilities to your overly eager friends and relatives, so they don’t feel like you are ignoring them entirely. This may be to follow up on a vendor booking, make a list of entertainment options or to check that the deliveries arrive on time. Even so, keep the bigger decisions to yourself. Make it a point to appreciate their help, and thank them profusely for their involvement. This should keep them happy, but out of your way.

Having a perfect wedding is not only about having a hassle-free day. It is also about the happiness you and your wedding party share. So, let this day be fun for all. Though you can’t please everyone, try to tackle difficult situations and bossy relatives sensibly, so no one is offended.

About Olga Pomeransky

Olga is manager at Best for Bride since 2005. Currently Best for Bride operates 4 bridal stores in Canada (Toronto, Etobicoke, Hamilton and Barrie). Best for Bride sells wedding, bridesmaids, mob dresses and more. http://www.BestForBride.com

3 Comments

Nora

March 6, 2015 at 8:11 AM

I would imagine that most parents or in-laws would want to have their hands in the planning process to some degree. There is nothing wrong with a little suggestion but there is a fine line there before taking over begins. Good tips!