Will Spider-Man Fly This Time?

The biggest theater story in decades -- for all the wrong reasons -- Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark suffered a pulverizing parade of delays, damages, and disses that made it the biggest punchline since Punky Brewster.

But then they shut the whole thing down to perform emergency resuscitation on the show and officially open it on June 14.

As a result, there will finally be a version that the critics can go to without hoping they won't be noticed.

Well, people do love a comeback, and this thing could surely rise from the ashes, flap its wings to the rafters, and not fall on anyone.

After all, they said J. Lo would never come back!

I feel the three possibilities are:

*The show will emerge as a streamlined, thrilling masterpiece that finally pleases both the artistic sensibility and the awestruck theatergoer. It will once again become the biggest theater story in decades, but for all the right reasons this time.

*It will be streamlined, but still flawed -- different but not quite airborne. They will have taken the icky stuff out but not replaced it with anything much better.

*It will completely suck.

I love a good comeback more than anyone, so I'm rooting for a complete superhero transformation.