Officer Knight gave chase, at which point Lamb, the only passenger, allegedly got behind the wheel and put the car into motion in an attempt to run the officer down, presumably in an effort to allow Simmons to escape.

Simmons was arrested and charged with driving under suspension, third or subsequent offense, according to online jail records. He is currently awaiting a bond hearing. It’s unclear at this point if he is the father of the deceased fetus.

The case is still under investigation. Lamb did have a criminal record, but I’m too much of a mongoloid to figure out what the charges were.

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The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.

CT

I know it may feel that way but is it possible to be 21 months pregnant?

http://www.facebook.com/amandamart Amanda Ratcliff Martin

How in the hell is she 21 MONTHS pregnant??

Sam

If is entirely inappropriate to be THAT on the ball on a Friday afternoon… 😉 I completely missed that!

Sam

It reads like a blooming fairy tale. The Knight tried to conquer the Drake, got almost run down by an armoured steed, and slaughtered a Lamb instead.

I know, i know, i need more liquor.

newstarshipsmell

Dammit, you beat me to it! LOL

newstarshipsmell

SCIENCE

LeaveMeBe

So was a pregnant woman killed or a pregnant elephant? O.o

LeaveMeBe

Must have been Satian’s spawn.

NoSkeletonsNGlassHouses

OMG, I wrote the same damn thing but you beat me by like 10 seconds!

Kails

21 months pregnant?

mom2tbet

21 Months pregnant?!?! That’s a large toddler wrapped in a crazy woman!

CT

That is two funny. Your intelligent is too much for me.

newstarshipsmell

Probably a woman, but thanks for the mental image, and lulz.

darsa

OMG 21 months pregnant!?!
…sorry, was feeling left out. 😉

LeaveMeBe

We’ve been practicing in the forums this morning.

newstarshipsmell

Okay, people. That’s enough jokes about the obvious typo, the last thing we want to do is encourage PetePuma to slow down on cranking out the writeups.

LeaveMeBe

Good thing you like me for my ass then. 😉

CT

He is probably sitting somewhere saying – bunch of fucking assholes.

Rachel Ann

In the name of Jeebus I banish you too hell SATIAN!

http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

I just corrected the typo, making you all look like cunts in the comments. This article was very obviously a lay-up…an attempt to keep the weekday-posting streak alive. Have a nice weekend, assholes.

CT

Screw you too. Way to fucking ruin it for me – I WAS FIRST, damn you, FIRST.

We still love you Pete even if you believe a woman can be pregnant for 21-months! Made my morning that did

LeaveMeBe

You made my Friday so enjoyable, asshole. Just so you know.

LeaveMeBe

You two? WTF? I haven’t said shit about FB. Don’t make me spank you.

LeaveMeBe

Cheez-Its Christ! An exorcism on the FP.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

My first reaction is to not put ALL of the blame on this woman. The male passenger (possible baby daddy) initiated her fight or flight reflexes when he booked out of the car. She was preggers so her protective instincts are at an all-time high for her. She reacted poorly, but was influenced by her raging hormones. Her maternal instincts had her make a decision like that of a mother lion. She wanted desperately to protect her “family”. Combine young, stupid, and extremely emotional and you’ve got a recipe for disaster kick started by an impulsive male looking to escape a possible DUI. Not worth it at all.

Rachel Ann

Anyone pregnant for 21-months has to be a servant of Beelzebub! *Tosses holy water around*

Gee

I am late to the party so I don’t look like a cunt for a change.
Yay me! Far better retribution to wait and change the typo so every one else looks like a dumb ass LMAO

newstarshipsmell

Hmmmm, I wonder, can he be charged with her murder, since he was engaged in a crime when she died? I’m foggy on how that works/under what circumstances.

CT

Ohhhh baby.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

I was wondering the same actually. At least charge him as an accessory. Although, it was ultimately her decision, the passenger sparked the chain of events… Which could leave legal loopholes for prosecutors to use against more “innocent” bystanders to crimes. Which leaves me feeling conflicted.

LeaveMeBe

Quit being a little suck-up. 😛

LuvsHorror

I feel sorry for the cop who has to live with this for the rest of his life. How sad for him and the innocent baby.

LuvsHorror

Haha, this is too funny! I missed the typo, tho.

Gee

Don’t be jealous I would lick your ass too or is that two, or To :0)~ All day baby

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

Indeed. The cop couldn’t have known she was preggers. I’m sure it will haunt him.

LeaveMeBe

I was a young mother of 2, and I can tell you that it never would have crossed my mind to put my child (born or unborn) in harms way to “save” their father. That has nothing to do with the fact that he was a sociopath or anything, and everything to do with the fact that I’m a mother first. If your take on what happened is the correct one, in this case with this young woman, then it was an epic fail on her part and just one more example of a mother putting her child in harms way to try and keep a penis.

LeaveMeBe

Get that shit away from me! It burns!!!!

SwampDaughter

I almost feel sad for her.. or maybe I just feel sorry for the baby. It’s pretty damn stupid to try and run down a police officer. What was her plan, that she would run over the cop and her boyfriend would just get away scot-free?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=736546181 Michael Heldman

I don’t pretend to understand someone else’s reasoning as it wouldn’t occur for me to do the same. However, she might have really really liked that penis.

http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

Oooo, that would be something excellent to share with my 70 whole FB “fans.”

Andyman

Nah, he used the “c” word and called all of you (I just got here) cunts… lmao.

JohnQknowitall

I am sorry the child died, but I can only imagine the life that stood before it had it not died.

newstarshipsmell

He called us both.

daMonBrooks

A shell phone, get it??!

newstarshipsmell

LOL. And I was #70 or 71, I forget which.

But I wouldn’t place much stock in that number. My friend’s flash game from last year has been played nearly two million times, consistently garnering 5-star reviews and constant demands for a sequel. My fanpage for her game? A whopping 69 likes.

curiousalways

Pretty damn sure I was-twice!

JGo555

I wish the baby had lived. That is all.

CT

Well the funny is – I had to really think about it because I did feel like I was pregnant FOREVER and I only made it 8 out of the 9 months.

curiousalways

Do you have twins? I know someone on hear does and it seems like it may be you.

CT

Yup, A & J. They will be 5 in a few months.

curiousalways

Wow. Better you than I. Mine are 8 and 11. Can’t imagine having them both at the same time!

http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

If I had a choice, I’d still be in there, I’ll tell you that.

http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

You people make me feel like less of a loser sometimes.

http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

Negatory.

Athena

Really?! You have to whine here, too? While people are spooging their virtual juices all over you?

Ingrate.

LeaveMeBe

Me either, but I didn’t want to be the dumb blonde who said no.

http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

Yeah. I blame it on not getting enough “participation” awards as a youngster.

http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

Here’s to hoping it stays right there. Though to be honest, 69 is a bit like Communism…better in theory than practice.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Arnett/650941889 Jamie Arnett

mongoloid? really? :/ i love this website, but poking fun at people with down syndrome is kind of shitty.

Rachel Ann

Yet another deserving candidate for a Darwin Award who can’t get one. Fuck!

daMonBrooks

I had nothing to contribute. Though I like the sound of my digital voice.

Athena

For quality control control purposes, is it more or less shitty than poking fun at gays? What about amputees? Women? Babies?

During my sophomore year in high school, this one retard walked up to me in the hallway one day, poked me in the chest, and with a huge grin on his face said “I remember you! You used to make fun of me and call me ‘Tard!'”

He didn’t seem particularly offended.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Arnett/650941889 Jamie Arnett

that isnt true at all. there are plenty of people with down syndrome who are very much self aware.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Arnett/650941889 Jamie Arnett

what about gay amputees??

newstarshipsmell

Just to clarify for others, since the term gets thrown around so much, this woman fails to qualify – for one, possibly two reasons:

a) Her unborn child would almost certainly be considered an innocent bystander, although it’s a grey area which the official site doesn’t seem to specifically address:

Killing others: The death of innocent bystanders absolutely rules out a Darwin Award. We don’t applaud those who take others out of the gene pool, even if they share some DNA in common. Injuring bystanders is also frowned upon.

b) Her death probably does not meet the Excellence criterion, as cop shootings in self-defense are fairly common, and it was not wholly unreasonable for her to believe she could succeed in running down the cop first:

The candidate must suffer an astounding lapse of judgment.

It takes a phenomenal failure of common sense to earn a Darwin Award. Common idiocies like Russian Roulette, not wearing a lifejacket, sleeping with a smoldering cigarette: such are not sufficient to win this dubious distinction. OTOH playing Russian Roulette with land mines jumping on a whale carcass in a shark feeding frenzy or sneaking a cigarette while hanging off the back of a speeding bus…just might win you a Darwin Award.

Sounds about right. My sister has downs – that’s just about the reaction she would have. My favourite- me walking into her bedroom on a particular Saturday morning saying, time to get up now, if you keep lying in in the morrning you’ll become neurotic. She walked into the living room ten minutes later saying, very indignantly, “I’m NOT erotic!!!”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jamie-Arnett/650941889 Jamie Arnett

you are looking in the wrong places, obviously! :p

http://tothechest.com Pete Puma

Oh shit…I meant “mongol.” I hate those motherfuckers. Yet another typo. I’m such a fucking retard.

newstarshipsmell

Haha. I didn’t know what “erotic” meant and got it confused with “erratic,” until one day in 5th or 6th grade when I misused it several times while speaking in class. After half the class was quietly snickering, my teacher made a point of interrupting me, and dramatically explaining that I was confusing one word for another before defining them both for me. Ah, childhood memories…

No idea who that kid thought I was. When he kept insisting that my name was “Steve” or “Mike” or something I gave up and stopped trying to convince him otherwise. He had those superthick lenses that magnified his eyeballs to like twice their size. Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys strongly reminds me of him. I was so uncomfortable and felt bad for him that I invited him to sit at our table during lunch a few days later (one of two social outcast tables along the far wall.) He ended up begging to sit with us the rest of the semester because the special ed students at his normal table “were all a bunch of drooling noisemakers.” His tardmaster seemed wary of us at first, but I guess probably realized that his one charge capable of conversing was probably better off sitting with other kids who could also converse.

EveryVillainIsLemons

It is if you’re a whale.

wyrosjr

Petey, I bet you are a good dirty talker in the b-room.

wyrosjr

Did the officer save us all from another generation of crazy?

http://www.facebook.com/HamsterNinjaofDOOM Alecia Hendricks

Oh I wasn’t implying they don’t have the cognitive function to be offended, just that it’s always someone that whatever statements don’t apply to being the ones that take offense.

LadyLeopard

I had to go back and look at the names again due to your comment. 😛

Consider this an upvote. I’d actually use the upvote function, but today Disqus is having one of its LL isn’t allowed to vote days.

Thanks for all the great articles, @petepuma:disqus – your unique take on criminal stupidity will be sorely missed.

http://www.dreamindemon.com Count Rackula

Dude what? Is he going somewhere or something? What the fuck did I miss while I was out? :-/

Badnewz730

I’m sure at a press conference the police will say the baby would have grown up to be Hitler 2!

malq

What do you have against mongoloids?

malq

You need to work on your comma’s dude.

LeaveMeBe

Who’s a dude?

LeaveMeBe

English has few ground rules for the usgae of the comma, malq. 😛

newstarshipsmell

He announced on his FB fanpage that he was resigning yesterday morning. Mentioned that he tried to wait for 1-2 other writers to come on board but couldn’t keep it up any longer.

CT

Has he not been made aware of your feminine loveliness? Shame, shame.

newstarshipsmell

Hey dude, what’s “usgae?”

LeaveMeBe

Now I know how Pete Puma feels when all of us think we’re being funny. We’re not, we’re total assholes. 😛

LeaveMeBe

Maybe the full moon has him confused.

Phoxee

What happened to the writers? I missed everything….

http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

They are all on a big farm where they are free to roam around and play with the other animals.

malq

I was actually, attempting to reply to Pete on the old comma joke. Looks like you took it in the ass. I am sure you don’t mind though..:P

newstarshipsmell

Have you considered a petting zoo? Supplement the advertising income and all.

LeaveMeBe

I kinda figured that comment wasn’t aimed at me since 1) you called me a dude and you clearly know I am not a dude and 2) you banged me for comma usage when everyone knows I am perfect and I would never abuse the comma. Oh, and JGo is the ass girl, not me.

malq

I am well aware of the love. with LMB

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