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Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Surprise! I’m back with another blog post, even though last
week I threatened to take a two week break from blogging. But you see, I came
across some battery-operated lights at home, and they demanded to be worn and
before I knew it, I was repurposing a Wacky Wednesday hat from a few months
back…into a Christmas tree!

Last week I felt ready to take a break from costumes for a
couple of weeks. I had zero intention of making something to wear today. But yesterday
I had an unsettling realization. I noticed that I’d posted blogs 49 times in
2016, and somehow this did not sit well with me. That number felt
anticlimactic. Unfinished. 50 sounded like a complete set, so I decided I could
squeeze out one more post this calendar year. Yep, I know that’s a strange
reason for posting, but hey, I’m being honest, and my strangeness is just one
of the reasons you love me!

It took only fifteen minutes to turn this hat into its
current incarnation. Usually I glue my costumes and hats but this one is
intended to be temporary and under those circumstances, duct tape is an
excellent solution: fast and strong, but temporary. I felt victorious. With
only fifteen minutes I’d created a tall, festive hat, and since all supplies used
were already on hand, this cost $0 to create. I did a Christmas happy dance.

And then the photo session began. That’s when the trouble
started. Apparently it’s an airtight law of the universe that when your costume
only takes 15 minutes to make, capturing it in a photo takes a zillion hours.
Sigh. The first photos weren’t bad, but I felt like they didn’t capture how
bright the lights were. So I took some photos in a darkened room. All were
annoyingly blurry. I attempted to persuade one of my kids to take my photo.
Major resistance. Then I decided that I didn’t like the way the lights were
spaced on the tree so I took it apart and started again. I made the room darker
to showcase the lights. More blurry photos. I set up the camera in a new spot
and promptly tripped over a big crate I’d forgotten I’d left on the floor. “SON
OF A REINDEER!” I shrieked with frustration. Next came photos with the tip of
the tree cut off. Photos with the right side of the tree missing. I glared at
my camera and through clenched teeth growled, “You piece of candy cane!” Finally I had a few photos
I could use, but at what cost? I was exhausted, as though I’d given birth to a
six-foot tall Santa, complete with beard and hat.

Yet the show must go on. And now that I’m sitting down again,
downloading photos, I feel fine. Here are a few photos that (kind of) capture
the magic of my Christmas Tree Hat.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Many people are familiar with the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” but in case you are not, here is a brief description. The song tells about different presents given each day for twelve days. The tune repeats and it is simultaneously sweet and funny (especially if you forget which line comes next, as I often do). Months ago I decided that in December I would create a dress illustrating all the gifts given for twelve days.

I drew and/or painted all the images for this dress, but I
have to admit I took a shortcut. I Googled “pipers piping” and some images
showed bagpipers and others showed musicians with horns. By that time I just
didn’t have it in me to create eleven sets of bagpipes! So I have elevens
“pipers” with instruments. And don’t get me started on twelve drummers
drumming.

Below are photos of everything on my dress.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…

…twelve drummers drumming…

…eleven pipers piping…

…ten lords a-leaping…

...

nine ladies dancing…

…eight maids a-milking…

…seven swans a-swimming…

…six geese a-laying…

...five gold rings!

…four calling birds…

…three French hens…

…two turtle doves…

…and a partridge in a pear tree…

While doing research for this blog post, I found a charming
version of the song done by the late John Denver and the Muppets, in 1979. This
playful crew of animals makes everything
better.

(Spoiler alert: at some point I will devote an entire
blog post to the fabulous and fierce, the bold and sassy, the one and only Miss
Piggy.)

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

This idea came to me months ago when my artist friends
Jeanne and John gave me some art supplies they no longer needed, including two
paint decks. (Thanks, J + J!) I immediately saw the potential to turn a deck
into a dress. I’m using my favorite colors from the deck, which are the
brightest, most colorful ones, rather than all the serious greys and beiges.
Bright colors make me happy. If you feel happy in your clothes, your day is
more likely to go well. (Wearing paper is not the most comfortable thing ever,
but color wins this week!)

By the way, does this outfit make you want to race to your
nearest paint store and buy quart after quart of happy colors and paint accent
walls different colors all over your house, until it looks as colorful as a
candy store? ME TOO!

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Curious
about how and when bubble wrap was invented? It happened in 1957 when inventors
Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes tried to create 3-d plastic wallpaper.
Eventually their idea morphed into the wrapping material that packs a pop.

Months ago I
started saving bubble wrap in preparation for today’s outfit. There are many
kinds. Big bubbles. Small bubbles. Green bubbles. Purple bubbles! Clear bubble wrap
is standard but it actually comes in at least twelve colors. Did you
know that the bubbles come in heart shapes in Italy and Mickey Mouse shapes in
Japan? What—are we in the Dark Ages here in the USA? We want shapes, too!

But hey, even the plain old circles are packed with fun
if, like me, you enjoy popping them. Of course, popping them takes away their power to cushion
whatever you’re wrapping. But that satisfying pop may be worth it.

Another fun
fact: the last Monday of January is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. If I’d known this before
yesterday I might have saved today’s outfit for January. But it was too late to
come up with another outfit for today. Last week was Thanksgiving and I was nonstop
busy so it didn’t occur to me to check whether there was an official day to
honor bubble wrap. Silly me…

Today’s
costume came together with a little hot glue (60 cents worth), and since I was
reusing bubble wrap I found or already had, that part was free.

As I walked
around town today people told me that they liked this outfit, and several
people asked to pop a bubble (including a stranger). Of course, I said, “Yes,”
since it would be cruel to flaunt the bubbles without allowing popping. It’s
impossible to resist.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

I’ll admit it: I’m procrastinating. There is cleaning to be
done before guests arrive at my house for Thanksgiving. And I’m finding other
(very important) things that must be done before cleaning. Like teaching myself
Mandarin Chinese. This skill could be useful for decades to come, whereas a
clean house will become unclean
within hours. Therefore learning another language is a more responsible choice
than cleaning!

Cleaning is just not my favorite thing. I’ve put off certain
cleaning tasks in the last week because I told myself that the kids would undo
any cleaning efforts I’d made—in a matter of seconds!—so what was the point?
But whether I like it or not, the instinct to declutter before guests arrive is
simply part of hosting a holiday.

So I’ve decided to take my feet-dragging attitude toward
cleaning and find the useful kernel hidden inside the mess. I’m blogging about
it today, since many Americans are in the same position I am—finding things to
read on the Internet rather than cleaning their homes. Hey—we’ll stuff two
birds with one post. I’ll write, you’ll read. Procrastination multitasking.Symbiosis.

In truth, today’s blog post has been forming in my head for
the last week. I had three moments inside of twenty four hours that pointed to
my internal battle about cleaning and holiday preparation. They rolled
themselves into a Thanksgiving recipe, but not in the usual sense. There’s
nothing to measure. Nothing to eat afterward. But also, no dirty dishes waiting
at the end. This is my playful recipe not for the perfect Thanksgiving, but for
a happy gathering. Pressuring ourselves to achieve perfection only results in
anxiety beforehand and letdown afterward. But we can aim for a happy Thanksgiving.

This is the time of year when many magazine covers feature
the annoyingly named “picture perfect” holiday meals: glossy, golden turkeys,
glistening side dishes, kids with clean faces. I’m throwing down the gauntlet
and suggesting that this pressure for perfection poisons the experience. I’m
going to refuse to feel pressured, and focus on having a good time instead.

The first inspiration for my Thanksgiving recipe came one
afternoon last week when I was in a store, waiting in line at the register. In
front of me was a man with a service dog. Just as someone got in line behind
me, I realized that the dog had gas. I’ve never had a dog but even I know that
man’s best friend sometimes has the worst gas. Ever. There I was, sandwiched
between a stinky dog and another customer. My immediate reaction was to hope that
the person behind me didn’t think that I was responsible for the smell. Within
a second I plotted my two options. I could turn to the person behind me and
jokingly warn about Fido’s fierce farts. But would my explanation look like a
cover up? Sure, blame the dog. He can’t defend himself. Shoot--I was in a
pickle. The other option was to ignore the matter and hope that Fido soon left
the building. I went with that choice. Because even if the customer behind me
blamed me for the aroma, was it the end of the world? No. I vowed to worry only
about what’s really important. Since I wasn’t actually shopping for The Big
Day, you may wonder what this story has to do with Thanksgiving. Don’t worry.
I’m getting to get to that.

The second piece of today’s recipe formed the following
morning, when I asked an acquaintance about his Thanksgiving plans. He said
that his family’s Thanksgiving tradition came about by accident one year when
plans to go to someone’s house fell through at the last minute. There were no
more turkeys available so they made lasagna instead. Now it’s their annual
Thanksgiving meal.

The third piece of this post fell into place later the same
morning, when I was at the pharmacy and joked with a woman about the cleaning I
needed to do before Thanksgiving. She said, “Oh, I know how you feel. You want
it to look perfect.” To which I replied, “Actually, no. I just want it to look
slightly better than it does right now!” We laughed, but I realized I was
serious, too. Sure, before the guests appear I could do all the deep cleaning I
don’t like doing. I could go crazy with scrubbing and dusting and end up with a
massive allergy attack and a short fuse as the guests arrive. Or I could tidy
up somewhat and say, “That’s good enough.” Some might call it a cop-out but I’m
calling it Sanity Prevention. My being in a good mood will relax my guests and
they’ll feel more comfortable, which beats my being an exhausted, grouchy host
with a spotless house.

My “worry less” approach is not one I’ve had my whole life.
For many years I pressured myself to be perfect, and not to make mistakes. I
wanted to be loved and not to be judged as lacking. But all the pressure I put
on myself didn’t end up in my feeling happy. It made me anxious and ruined the
fun of whatever I was trying to do. So I’ve broken up with perfection and I’m
applying what I’ve learned to Thanksgiving. A happy holiday shouldn’t be about
the spotless house, festive decorations or the quest for the perfect dinner. I
think it should be about enjoying the day. And if you’re aiming for perfection
you’re weighted down by pressure. Where’s the enjoyment in that?

So let me bring together my three ingredients in my recipe
for a good Thanksgiving:

1)If a dog farts in a checkout line and no one
hears it, don’t worry that you’ll be blamed. Save energy for what matters. Likewise,
don’t worry about impeccable table settings, the “perfect” turkey, ideal side
dishes and flawless desserts. Just aim for good and don’t give yourself an ulcer
in the quest for the Holy Grail.

2)If your turkey gets too dry, don’t fret. Call
the main dish Authentic Turkey Jerky. Laugh about it. And fill up on side
dishes. Or make lasagna.

3)Don’t make yourself miserable agonizing about
whether your home is dust-free, polished to perfection and company-ready. Our enjoyment
of Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the house looking like a glossy magazine
photo.

Recipe aside, if nothing else, I hope this story has given
you a laugh. In my mind, humor is probably the most important ingredient in any
celebration. I wish you a beautifully imperfect,
laughter-filled, memorable, happy Thanksgiving…

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

I’ll be honest—I feel slightly guilty for doing a WW post
that is similar (in concept and name) to one I did a year ago. So let’s just
get that out there. An almost-repeat feels weird for someone who strives for
originality. Last November I did WW accessories made of leaves I’d painted,
whereas today’s leaves are silk. Different enough? Who knows? But hey, I’m
human and it’s going to be okay.

And now to the outfit. Today I’m wearing silk leaves I
found at a garage sale several months back. On a broiling summer morning it
felt odd to buy fall leaves, but we scavengers find our inspirations when and
where they are, regardless of season.

Total
spent: $1. 50 (leaves plus hot glue sticks)

And maybe
it’s okay to do near repeats of costumes. Fall leaves are gorgeous and finding
them inspirational is a natural response...to nature. Also tucked into this
outfit are a few leaves I found on the ground in front of my neighbor’s house.
Adding genuine imitation leaves to genuine leaves—best of both worlds.

Of course,
the irony is that in San Diego we’ve had 90-degree days even in the last
week so it’s not feeling fallish in the way you might think (dropping
temperatures, hot drinks, fireplaces burning logs, sweaters coming out of their
hibernation). The leaves may be falling--yet my ceiling fan has been spinning
for weeks.

But today,
it’s twenty degrees cooler than it was earlier this week. Who knew I had the
power to influence temperatures? As the famous saying goes, if you wear fall,
it will arrive. (Or maybe it was a saying about building something, but let’s
not get sidetracked…)

Whether you
spend next week with a hot drink or one filled with ice—with snow or in the
surf-- wherever you are, have a beautiful fall and a happy Thanksgiving….

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

A few months back I found a rubber frog bath toy given to us
when the kids were smaller. It sparked an idea: me, covered in lily pads, with
a frog or two.

Slowly the idea changed and I’m not wearing the frog, as
originally planned. The focus is the lily pads. But soon the plan grew from just
lily pads to lotus and lily (which sounds like the name of a boutique). Making
lotus flowers would be a fun challenge, I thought. These flowers are pretty,
but I also like their symbolism: flowers emerging from murky water, somehow
fresh and clean, signifying rebirth and enlightenment.

Can you see me in the photo below? It’s taken from above.
The pink lotus flower is on my head.

I created the lily pads from rectangles of green foam, which I
cut and painted with acrylic paint. The flowers are made of paper and felt,
which I had in my craft stash. My oversized
necklace is made of approximately twenty lily pads. Total spent: $2.

Unfortunately, it’s H-O-T today (92 degrees) in San Diego,
where my lily pads and I are anchored. So I’ve been suffering for my art,
walking around in a foam outfit that traps heat a little too efficiently on a
warm day.

Maybe it’s a sign that I need to fully immerse myself in the
lily pad experience, and sink into a shallow pool of water. So for my next
trick, I will turn my bathtub into a lily pond….

Monday, October 31, 2016

Today I am dressed as Lucy, the famous know-it-all, and her
Psychiatric Help booth.

Side note: I don’t like how bossy Lucy is such a bully. My
dressing as Lucy doesn’t condone meanness. But as far as funny, iconic
Halloween costumes go—this one had real appeal. And so I set to work.

For Lucy’s booth I dug out a huge cardboard box I’d saved.
It was from the water heater we had to replace a while back. Note: one of the
only benefits of having to buy a new water heater is that the giant box it
comes in is big enough to make a booth to wear at Halloween. Getting hot water
again is nice, too, of course. Having the old water heater flood the garage?
Not so nice. But back to costumes.

As I do for many of my costumes, I hit the thrift store for
a dress. Finding a dress similar to what Lucy wore was a bit of a challenge.
Thrift stores offer a charmingly bizarre combination of ‘80s power suits,
sparkly club wear and vintage mumus. Finding an adult-sized solid-colored,
puffed-sleeve dress a child would have worn in the 60s was a tall order.

But I found a long red dress, which I bought, brought home,
and promptly cut up. I shortened the dress, and made a Peter Pan color from
scraps from my stash. Next I created some puffed sleeves from the excess red
material and put some lace on the front and a zipper in the back. Didn’t have
time to fashion Saddle shoes, but hey, I’m only human.

The dress--before its makeover....

Rounding out the effect is my pal, Charlie Brown (aka
Blockhead). As Lucy, I’m bestowing my sage advice upon him because I am, after
all, two weeks older than he is, which means I know everything. Obviously.

Please note that I had to update my rate from five cents to
five dollars.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Or so I’d
guess. I grew up with one sister, so how would I know? Today’s post is a Q and
A with someone who knows exactly what it’s like to grow up in a big family. My
friend Diane is one of ten siblings. When I discovered this fact, questions
instantly ricocheted around my brain. I had to know more, so I announced to
Diane that I was going to interview her, and sweetheart that she is, she
agreed.

Sarah: You grew up in a family of ten
siblings. Where were you in the lineup?

Diane: I am one of three girls, and we have
seven brothers. I was born seventh.

S: Your parents married young, and
started their family the following year. Tell me about their early years.

D: My parents, Robert and Norma, married
soon after my mom’s high school graduation. Mom was still seventeen and Dad was
twenty. Their first child arrived when Mom and Dad were eighteen and
twenty-one. In the next seventeen years they had a total of ten kids. The
closest siblings in age are my older brother and me, and we are thirteen months
apart, to the day.

S: When did your parents move into the
house in which you grew up?

D: When my oldest brothers were small,
my parents moved into their house in Paradise Hills, a neighborhood in
southeast San Diego. My dad was a mechanical engineer at Rohr. My mom worked
when her first kids were young. Once the family became larger she stopped
working outside the home until we were much older. Although my parents didn’t
come from big families, large families were not unusual in Paradise Hills in
the 1960s and 70s. We knew families in our area with thirteen or sixteen kids
or more. To us, a family with only five or six kids was small!

S: What was your neighborhood like
when you were a child?

D: When I was very small, the
neighborhood was mostly Caucasian, but as I grew a little older there was a lot
of cultural diversity. We kids had friends of various nationalities, and we
liked the diversity. My parents lived in the same house for more than thirty
years, and they were quite friendly with their neighbors throughout the time
there. Although our family does not own that house anymore, one of my sisters
lives two doors away from our childhood home.

S: The house you grew up in was
approximately 1,000 square feet, with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Who
slept where?

D: My two sisters and I always shared
a bedroom. My parents had a room, and some of my brothers shared another room.
Eventually we needed another bedroom so the garage was converted into a fourth
bedroom, where four of my brothers slept in two sets of bunk beds.

S: Your neighbors helped convert the
garage into a bedroom.

D: Yes, one neighbor was an architect,
and drew up the plans to convert the garage. Another neighbor was an engineer,
like my dad, and they worked together to turn the garage into a new bedroom.
Many neighbors helped. It was that kind of neighborhood. Neighbors always helped
one another.

S: Still, even with an additional
bedroom, it was a full house. One man I met from a family of fourteen said they
ate dinner in shifts. How did all of you manage mealtimes, and all the ins and
outs of daily life?

D: Breakfast was usually a quick meal.
We each packed our own lunches for school. All of us had chores, mostly driven
by our ages. Before dinner, the younger kids peeled potatoes and carrots. Older
siblings were allowed to cut vegetables. Mom delegated and she did the cooking,
and as we became older she taught us to cook. Dad cooked, too. Whoever was home
at dinner time sat and ate. We had a big horseshoe-shaped booth and whoever was
home sat there for dinner. My older siblings reheated dinner when they came
back from sports practice.

S: What about other chores?

D: In our house, when you turned twelve, you entered into the dish-washing
rotation. I hated washing dishes! There were always so many dishes, and big
pots, too. You could trade which day you did dishes, but no one got out of
doing dishes. Eventually we got a dishwasher, which made a difference.

S: Speaking of cooking, grocery
shopping must have been a frequent activity. Your family grew up in the 1950s
and 60s, and Costco didn’t open in San Diego until 1983. Bulk buying wasn’t the
option that is today. Did your mom shop daily?

D: We did go to the store regularly,
and we always went in teams of at least two, since we needed two shopping
carts. Sometimes my parents went grocery shopping together at night, as kind of
a date night. But we were fortunate to have my grandparents nearby, and they
had a huge garden at home, so we got a lot of vegetables from them. We
considered ourselves lower-middle class—we weren’t wealthy—but we always had
enough to eat. Occasionally we’d go to a restaurant, and I remember the Mexican
restaurant near our house. To this day I measure all Mexican food against that
place.

S: Did your family have a washer/dryer
at home? Were these machines running 24/7?

D: Yes! Once you were in high school
you were expected to do your own laundry.

S: Not only did your parents raise
their ten kids, but at times there were also friends living with your family.

D: Yes, there often was an extra boy
or two living with us. If a friend was going through a rough patch at home, my
parents opened up our house to our friends.

S: Wow. They had big hearts. They died
young but they made an impact while they were living.

D: My dad died at age forty-five, when
I was thirteen. He’d had heart problems. Mom died at fifty-two. Both were
amazing. They had tons of patience, and they had great senses of humor.

S: You are an involved, patient mom of
two. Do you approach parenting in some of the ways your parents did?

D: My parents were more patient than I
am. I guess they had to be! But yes, the two biggest lessons I learned from
them were to be patient, and to try to find a way to laugh about the tough
things in life. They were encouraging and always supportive. Even when they
were mad at us, we always felt loved.

S: With ten kids, how did your family
celebrate birthdays?

D: Growing up, we celebrated each
child’s birthday, sometimes with a party, sometimes with a family dinner at
home with cake. Once we were older we started gathering monthly to celebrate
all birthdays in that month.

S: Do any of your siblings have their
own large families now?

D: The most any of us has is four kids.

S: How many of the ten siblings still
live in this area?

D: Seven of us do. Some of us get
together regularly to play low-stakes poker. We play nickel-dime-quarter. I
actually learned to play when I was a child, so this is not only fun, but it’s
also a connection to the family in which I was raised.

S: Are there other special items or
traditions that have been passed down through the family?

D: Two stories come to mind. The first
is funny. When I was small Mom made meatloaf a lot, but it wasn’t something I
liked. Oddly, my sister makes meatloaf now, using the very same recipe Mom
used--and I love my sister’s meatloaf! The second story is about my mom’s
china. She had service for twelve, which my parents spent years collecting.
When Mom passed away my older sister inherited the china and she enjoyed using
it for years. But she recently gave it to me. I’m looking forward to using it
for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and one day I’ll pass on my mom’s china to my
daughter.

S: It’s a common belief that the
youngest child gets away with more than the oldest, or that rules became more
relaxed over time. Did this seem true in your family?

D: My older brothers remember our parents
being stricter with them, although my parents believed they parented each of us
the same way!

S: I’m interested in birth order and
how it shapes each person’s personality. But birth order stereotypes only go so
far when there are eight middle
children.

D: Yes. Middle kids are often
peacemakers. Sometimes I fit the peacemaker role but other times it wasn’t me.
The dynamic shifted a lot as we grew.

S: Were all the kids expected to share
toys and clothes with siblings? Were there items that clearly were yours—ones
that you were not urged to share?

D: Most things were shared but we each
had some things that were our own. You learned to find a safe spot to put
something special. When we were teens, my sisters and I shared clothes and
shoes. We each had our own but sharing was an affordable way to triple our
wardrobe.

S: What were the biggest challenges in
a family of twelve? Was getting individual attention hard?

D: Actually, my parents somehow found
a way to give each of us regular one-on-one attention. I never felt lost in the
shuffle. All of us kids did sports, and at least one of our parents made a
point to watch at least part of each of our games. The biggest challenges in a
family of our size were practical issues like getting shower time, or a ride to
practice, or access to the washing machine.

S: How does a family of twelve keep
things organized? I misplace things regularly and I have three kids—not ten!
Were you parents really tidy?

D: Certain things needed to be put back
exactly in their place—like Dad’s tools. With a lot of other things we just did
what we could. You were responsible for your own things, but there were plenty
of mornings when someone couldn’t find their shoes!

S: Getting a lot of kids out the door
to school each morning must have been a challenge. Was your school
walking-distance?

D: Yes. We walked a lot. School was
nearby. Baseball practice was walking-distance. High school wasn’t close enough
to walk to but as kids we walked a lot or rode bikes.

S: I did a
little research about large families (defined as having six or more children).
Online, there are a lot of theories about kids from large families being at a
disadvantage (especially as far as parents’ attention and finances). But one
article online pointed out that children in large families have notable
advantages. They learn cooperation at an early age (as
compared with children in smaller families) because they must learn to get
along with many siblings. Children in large families learn responsibility for
themselves and often for younger brothers and sisters. These children also tend
to have an easier time adapting to change. (http://psychology.jrank.org/pages/237/Family-Size.html) Do you think you are flexible in terms of change?

D:
Yes. I do think I’m adaptable to change and I know it’s because we had to be
flexible. From the very beginning we learned to compromise, to share and to get
along.

S:
What are other advantages of being part of a large family?

D:
We always had a playmate around. There was always someone to help you if you
needed it. Sometimes the disadvantages annoyed me: like my older siblings
making me play games they wanted to
play. But the advantages far outweighed the challenges. There was a lot of
camaraderie. My brothers also taught us girls to play sports and we became good
because we were practicing with bigger, more experienced kids.

S: What is
your favorite memory of growing up in your family?

D: Christmas holds happy, funny
memories. Our extended family always came to our house, and everyone piled in.
Our dad came up with a tradition for opening Christmas gifts. He’s start with
the youngest child, who was required to sing a few lines from a Christmas song
before being allowed to open a present. Then, the second youngest would sing
part of a different Christmas song before getting to open a gift. And so on.
Everyone had to sing a different Christmas song, and this became funnier with
each child as we tried to think of a song that hadn’t been sung yet. I think Dad
devised this plan to slow things down on Christmas, so that it wasn’t just
complete chaos. His tradition forced us to focus on one thing at a time and
while it took ages to get through the gifts, there was something fun and
special about the system, too. Life was hectic at times, absolutely. But I have
many happy memories of growing up in my family….

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

“Oh, I have nothing
to wear!” This declaration has been made (mostly) by women, dating back to the
days of cavemen and women, when one cavewoman grunted her refusal to wear last
year’s animal skin.

The solution? Wear some blank DVDs.

The perks of wearing DVDs:

1)No one else at the party will be wearing the
same outfit as you. (Probably.)

2)They are lightweight.

3)Metallic goes with everything.

4)Pet hair doesn’t stick to them.

5)They can be worn before or after Labor Day.

6)If someone says you’re look is “too 90s,” you
say confidently, “Yes, in a good way.”

7)DVDs can be dressed up or down. Add running
shoes to wear them to a park. Add high heels for more formal occasions. Easily
goes from a day to night look.

8)Excellent conversation starter, should you need
one.

9)Moths can’t eat this outfit.

10)PETA won’t hassle you for wearing plastic.

Today’s outfit has its origins a few months ago, when I
walked past my neighbor’s blue recycling can. The lid was open and I saw a
stack of black DVDs inside. They weren’t movies. They were the rewritable DVDs
people use for storing data. At least he
was trying to recycle, I thought. But these DVDs silently screamed to me,
“Make us over! Rescue us!” And you know I can’t ignore materials begging me to
turn them into wearable art.

There was a wardrobe malfunction when some of the DVDs fell from my necklace. This meant that I had to use them as an accessory until I could glue them back to the others. Upside: fun shadows.

And so here I am today, wearing shiny silver discs and
feeling like a walking, talking disco ball (in a good way, of course). Office
supplies are a lot more exciting than you think.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Different colors of barricade tape indicate different
hazards. Yellow tape is used to caution against trip hazards and low hanging
objects. This is delightfully ironic as I trip over my own shadow and I am a
hazard to my own health! I’m quite accident-prone, constantly banging into
things. Could this date back to my first year, when I learned to walk after
crawling only briefly? It’s believed that babies who crawl longer develop
better spatial awareness, and I am lacking in that department. Or could it be
that I am thinking of so many ideas at once and don’t think to look up or down?
Either way, I’d do better if the whole world were padded and draped in caution
tape.

I have no idea how this idea planted itself in my brain but
I jotted it down months ago and ever since then I’ve been collecting caution
tape from trees and parks and places where caution tape was used. I don’t take
it when it’s still blocking off areas, only when it’s clearly been left behind.
You can buy a giant roll of this tape but that doesn’t interest me. I like
collecting found objects, and recycling things headed to the dump. Or making my
own.

Here’s the cost breakdown on today’s costume:

Caution tape found in public spaces$0

Yellow plastic tape (on clearance at the 99 cent
store)$.40

Black clothing worn under the tape (already had)$0

Hot glue sticks$
.20

Pipe cleaners for hat$.20

Sharpie$
1.00

Total$
1.80

I don’t know whether my message of caution is intended for
others, or as a reminder to myself, or is just a fun effect with lots of
contrast and surprise factor. Maybe all of the above. A win-win-win.

It took me hours to decorate this parking lot to match my outfit, but it was worth it....