Breitbart Launching Own Cereal Line: “To Hell With Kellogg’s”

BIG SATIRE – Since the Kellogg’s Co. has decided to pull its advertising from the popular conservative website Breitbart, after the Trump election apparently told the cereal giant that conservatives don’t deserve their foods anymore, Breitbart is fighting back.

After hundreds of thousands of patriots started signing their #DumpKelloggs petition, Breitbart decided two can play the game. The media company has announced plans to start its own line of cereals and, showing they’re the bigger company, they’ll sell to consumers of any political affiliation.

Rising conservative star Milo Yiannopoulos laid out the company’s plans this way. “We want to remind everyone that ‘Breitfast’ is the most important meal of the day. If those twits over at Kellogg’s think that Trump voters are somehow less than good enough to eat their overpriced crap, then we’ll just give them some competition.”

“To hell with Kellogg’s, that’s what I say. Would they be happier if everyone had to show their voter registration card in order to buy their precious products? Sounds like it.” Milo deadpanned.

Breitbart will have cereal brands like “CAP’N Trump,” “Frosted SnowFlakes,” and “Reince Krispies.”