Parenting Tips

Advice for raising well-balanced children

When you left the hospital to take your newborn home for the first time, you may have hoped that the baby bag contained some kind of manual giving parental advice on how to handle the next 18-plus years. Then you remembered that babies don't come with a set of instructions for parents on how to teach a child values, resolve a conflict with a sibling or help a child study for an upcoming test. Our tips for parents can help prepare you for various situations, as well as provide ideas for activities that you can enjoy as a family.

Some parents spend Valentine’s Day at the movies – without the kids – as a rare treat that may happen only once a year or less. It’s a good idea to brush up on your movie theater etiquette:

• Turn off the ringer on your cell phone before the movie starts. If you have kids at home, it may not be feasible to turn off your phone. However, since every cell phone has a vibrate option or can be set to “meeting mode,” there’s no reason for a blaring ring tone after the movie preview ends. If a call arrives during the movie and you must respond, leave the theater to call the person back. If you absolutely need to answer the phone inside the theater, be sure to answer “hold on a moment” and then go to the lobby to continue the conversation. If you answer “hello,” you’re going to start a conversation inside the theater, which of course would not be considerate or respectful of the other movie goers.

• Arrive on time. Don’t risk arriving late and then stumbling in the dark as you try to find two seats next to each other, which isn’t fun for you or anyone else in the theater. Best bet: Arrive at the theater at least 30 minutes before the movie’s start time.

• No chit-chatting, please. No need to annoy your seat neighbors. If you absolutely must say something (such as how much you love going to the movies with your spouse), keep it no louder than a whisper – and in only a few words.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time for love, but the other 364 days are great for that, too. As a parent, you have the double-duty of wanting to make your spouse and your kids feel special – and all the more so on Valentine’s Day.

To embrace your kids with Valentine’s love, try these three powerful ideas that will leave no doubt they’re the apple of your eye.

• The power of kind words
Despite what’s said about “sticks and stones”, words can have a huge impact on how children see themselves. Think about the potentially negative impact of a phrase such as, “You are always doing stupid things!” Or, “You act more like a baby than your little sister.” We all know that raising a child can be frustrating (our words sometimes reflect that frustration), but let this Valentine’s Day serve as a reminder of the positive power of our words. Make a commitment to use your words to develop your children’s self-esteem. Praise their accomplishments, no matter how small. Let them know you’re proud, for example, of the A+ they got on their spelling test or the improvement they’re making in whichever subject. Talk about the beautiful colors they used in their drawings. Tell them how excited you are to see them when they arrive home from school.

December is filled with festivities and celebrations worldwide. Here’s how various people around the world enjoy this glorious month:

Chanukah

For eight days in December, this year starting December 21, Jewish people around the world celebrate Chanukah, the “festival of lights.” They light a menorah – a special candleholder – in remembrance of an ancient miracle in which one-day’s worth of oil burned for eight days in their temple. As part of the celebration, they eat potato pancakes called latkes, sing songs, and spin a top called a dreidel to win “gelt” – chocolate coins.

St. Lucia Day

December 13 is St. Lucia Day, a holiday that celebrates this third-Century saint, in Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland, Latvia, Estonia, Hungary, Bavaria, Italy, Malta, Bosnia, Croatia, Slovakia and St. Lucia, West Indies. Many girls dress up as “Lucia brides” in long white gowns with red sashes, and wear a wreath of lighted candles on their heads. They sing songs and offer coffee to their family, along with twisted saffron buns called “Lucia cats.”

For some parents, it’s difficult to hand over tasks to their young children, especially if it involves food and drinks. It’s not that the parents are “control freaks”; they just know that kids aren’t always careful, which can lead to mistakes and messes, spills and stains. And that means the parents spend less time fixing dinner and more time fixing problems.

Thankfully, there are lots of ways to get children involved in Thanksgiving preparations without having to worry about big messes. Here is a sampling of ideas:

For some families, celebrating Father’s Day is all about dinner at a restaurant. Other families like to stay in and show dad a good time from the comfort of their own home. No matter which type of celebration you prefer, we’re here to help you make dad’s special day just that…special.

Out and About

It’s safe to say that dining out with children is never as relaxing as it was before you had kids. But there are ways to make your dining experience—especially one as important as Father’s Day—a bit more enjoyable. Here are just a few ideas:

1. Go to places that are family friendly. It may seem obvious, but taking young kids to a restaurant known for its romantic ambience isn’t a good idea for you or the other guests. You’ll probably spend the entire meal trying to keep your son or daughter quiet. That’s definitely not a great way to spend Father’s Day. Instead, try to find a place that’s a little noisy and doesn’t mind a mess on the table. You’ll be more relaxed—and happy—knowing your kids can be kids.

2. Beat the dinner rush. Since most people go out to eat after 6 p.m.—especially on weekends—make a point of arriving at the restaurant around 5 p.m. If you think the restaurant still might be crowded at that time, be sure to make reservations. You won’t wait as long to be seated and you’ll get your food quicker. And when kids are involved, you usually only have about a half hour before they start to get antsy.

3. Bring your own entertainment. Most family friendly restaurants offer crayons and placemats to keep kids occupied, but it’s also a good idea to bring some of your son or daughter’s favorite toys. Or, let your older kids play games on your cell phone. Games like Hangman can actually be fun for the whole family.

4. No snacking before going to the restaurant. If your kids ask for a snack before you go out, don’t give in! They may complain about being hungry, but that’s a good thing. After all, you’re going to the restaurant to eat.

The Inside Scoop

For the family that likes to stay home on Father’s Day, there are many ways to have fun with dad. These ideas might work for your family:

Host your own concert. Set up a pretend stage, get a hairbrush to use as a microphone, put up some folding chairs for your audience, turn down the lights and shine a bright flashlight on the singer. Then take turns singing your favorite songs. Be sure to cheer loudest for dad, since it’s his special day.

Host a movie night. Don’t just rent a movie and sit on the couch. Go all out to make it just like a night at the theater. Hand out tickets, set up a concession stand with fresh-popped popcorn and boxed candy, and turn down all the lights. Even though it’s dad’s day, try to pick a movie that the whole family can enjoy.

Look at old pictures and videos. Kids love seeing old photos of themselves and watching videos from when they were younger. If you have your photos in a box, bring it to the center of the room so everyone can sit around it. Or, if all your images are in digital form, create a slideshow on your computer. For videos, the best approach is to hook up the camera to your TV. That way, everyone will be able to see the show without having to huddle around a tiny camcorder screen.

No matter how you choose to spend your Father’s Day—at a restaurant or in your home—don’t forget to tell dad just how much you love and appreciate him. That’s probably what he wants most anyway.