Wednesday, November 08, 2006

True Wife Confessions 113 Calhoun Street

Confession #1121

Honey,

As I sat across the table from you tonight and watched you eat that enormous salad with Emeril's "Bam" all over it I couldn't help but think of how unattracted I was to you. I mean, kudos for losing the 140lb in 7 months. Unfortunatley now you look like an anorexic freak, like a melted form of your former self. You're all boney and your skin is flabby. It is a complete turn off and that is why we no longer have sex. I'm hoping that someday you decide to pick up a barbell and start packing on some muscle. Right now you look like a clothes hanger in your shirts. Have a fucking sandwich for christsake.

Oh, and this business of "going off my antidepressants" is driving me crazy. Your mood swings are just about more than I can handle. You mostly act like a 4 year old and I feel like slapping you silly. Get a fucking grip. Life is hard. All your "flooding emotions" make me want to throw up.

Grow up and gain some weight.

Confession #1122

I think the affairs I am having are saving our marriage. I actually love you more and our sex life has gotten a little better. Part of it is that I know that other men (also married) find me attractive - I'm not waiting for you to say anymore. I actually mean it when I tell you that I love you, for the first time in years.

Confession #1123

I wish that I could open up to you and let you know what I feel. But every time I've tried, you throw everything back in my face.

I wish you would realize that every time you treat me like crap, I hate you just a little more. Long ago the hate overtook the love.

I wish we'd never moved to the city together. You talked me into a place that costs too much for one salary, so I couldn't throw you out.

I wish you'd just go ahead and leave, like you tried to do in the past. I was stupid then, afraid of being alone. I'm not now.

Confession #1124

Everyone always tells me how lucky I am to havemarried you. I agree with that statement on my end butyou, poor man, were doomed from the day you met me.

I don't really understand why you treat me so well.Why you allow me to dictate every waking moment ofyour life. Why you allow me to stay in bed all daywhile you play with the kids and clean the house onlyto be yelled at by me when you quietly come into thebedroom to ask me what I'd like for dinner.

I make more money than you do. This doesn't bother youat all but it does bother me. Why don't you tryharder? Why don't you go back to school? Why don't youdo something so that I won't have to keep going tothis job that I despise and can do something that Imight actually enjoy for less money?

Why do I feel like you're obligated to do this for me?

Confession #1125

I don't particulary care about sex with you. I'mprefectly happy not doing it but this is the one thingthat you try to force your will on. I've been woken upon so many occasions with my underwear pulled down andyou trying to force my legs open.

Last night, I told you the next time I would call thepolice and have you arrested for rape. I've told youthis before and it hasn't stopped you yet. I askmyself why don't I just give in to sex a couple oftimes a week or just end it all already and divorceyou so you can find someone who enjoys your nocturnaladvances.

Confession #1126

We've been together for 11 years now. I've alreadycheated on you twice, both times ended every badly asI became immediately needy and clingy to these men. Itwasn't about the sex but rather being around a man whoI found exciting and smarter than I was.

Someone who made their own decisions. Someone who hadambition. Someone who treated me badly.

You don't know about those other men and I have nointention to tell you. I like to think it's because itwould hurt you too badly and I haven't done it forgoing on 6 years now but in reality, it's because Iwant to keep the door open for other opportunities. Idon't want you looking over my shoulder.

There's another man at work who fits all theaforementioned criteria. I know that if I continueworking there we will both end up cheating on ourspouses. I know it yet I am hoping it happens. Idaydream about him and make little excuses to stop byhis office.

He invites me to go out with a group of people afterwork but I haven't gone. Yet. I know it's wrong and Iknow it only end in tears. Why am I doing this to us?

Why can't you see that I can't be the one in controlbecause I only fuck everything up? Why can't you seethat?

Confession #1127

WHY oh why must you sulk and pout like a big wimpy baby when I ask you to do anything with my family? Why do you feel free to talk badly about my mother and my brother and just let everything with your ANNOYING family (especially your mother) just go??? I am sick of keeping my family on hold until the very last minute for Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. If my family did this, you would be pissed, but since it's your family, no big deal. I am sick sick sick of your silent act, and frankly, I don't give a shit right now if you ever talk to me again.

Confession #1128

More often than not, I wish you’d drop dead.

Confession #1129

Here's a shout out to anonymous confessing - I love that I can write in and see my thoughts and feelings in type, and share them with you all out there. Ladies, whoever you are, I love our common thread. Even if often times our common threads are idiot males who are putting us through living hell.

Here's my latest. I hate to say that my feelings for you have changed so much - when I thought so highly of marriage and committment, and all that goes along with those things. I used to preach like I knew what I was talking about - it was easy to do before I was actually married. I knew it wouldn't be easy - and I am okay with that, but what I didn't realize was that when we got married, that I would lose all of my physical attraction to you. We went out recently and every time you touched me I wanted to run screaming in the other direction. You talked to another girl most of the night at that party, and you know what? I WANTED you to take her home. Knowing that that would be the last thing on earth you would ever do ... but why not? Please. Have an affair. Fall in love with someone who isn't me. Do something so I won't feel like such a complete ass for wanting out of our marriage. You are the best man on the planet. And what I want is sex. Not from you. I know that I should be careful about what I wish for - I may just get it. But you know what? I deserve it. I should be miserable for awhile. I had an affair. I've already started lying to new guys I meet about what my life is like. And I know that there isn't another you out there. I don't know what to do, and baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I have to do this alone for awhile - maybe a long while. Maybe forever.

Confession #1130

I'm so tired of your temper. You think just because you've never hit me that it's okay. It's not. You're impatience with the kids isn't okay either. I know that they're annoying. I know that they whine. I know that they cry at the drop of a hat and then continue to cry for half an hour. I'm the one that's here with them ALL.DAY.LONG. Is it too much to ask that when you're home for the 2 1/2 hours until bedtime that you are patient and kind and don't yell at them constantly? Things here are relatively happy until you come home- then everyone is crying until I put them in bed. They're kids. It's what they do. They're a heck of a lot easier to deal with if you treat them with respect and love rather then demands and knee jerk reactions.

I don't know what's happened to you. But I don't like it.

If I ever chance to bring up something you may do differently parenting-wise it's met with anger and you throwing back into my face my lack of perfection. I know I'm not perfect. Believe me. But do you think maybe that since I'm the one that spends 24/7 with these kids and since I'm the one that reads the books, magazines, and websites about child rearing that maybe, just maybe that maybe I might be able to tell you what works a little better? When are you going to realize that half the reason they don't listen to you is that you don't enforce what you say until you've said it 10 times. There's a reason that all I have to do is start counting before they jump- they know that I'm serious when they see that first finger go up. Also- the empty threats? That doesn't work either. They know very well that you're not going to throw all their toys away, make them walk home on the freeway, or make them sleep in the backyard. They're not dumb.

Neither am I. Yet I feel like you think I am whenever I make a comment you don't agree with. I don't think you realize how much I read and study about politics, history, different religions, the environment ect. But if I don't agree with you then I must be wrong. I miss talking to you. Now you're not interested in hearing me talk- just having me listen. Sometimes I have things to say too. But I don't think you care.

I feel like I'm retreating farther and farther into myself when you're around. I'm not free to be me with you- so I save myself for other people. Doesn't that make you at least a little bit sad? It should.

Sometimes I think that I made a huge mistake- that if I'd waited longer I'd have met someone that I'd have been more compatiable with. That makes me sad. Yet- because of the kids I'm not leaving. Yet. You need to get on the ball with your temper and your attitude before you kill off the best part of me.

I hope you read this. I hope you know that it's me writing. Most of all I hope it makes a difference.

59 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Wow. This site and all these confessions, just wow. I wonder just how many women feel the way you ladies obviously do about the men they are with. Is what you ladies write really true? This is so sad. Why stay with men who do not make you happy? Do you need a man to make you happy? I know one thing from reading all these confessions, I no longer feel bad about cheating on my wife in our marriage or for leaving her after so many years.

#1122 - Congratulations on all the benefits your cheating has brought you. I think you shoud tell your husband about this wonderful gift you've given him. I bet he'd agree that your decision to fuck other men has benefited him enormously.

I think LOTS of women feel this way about their husbands/signifigant others. LOTS. I also think that more women than you suspect are having affairs, or wanting to have affairs. I think it is a little naive to assume that one person can be your everything for ever and ever.

My own decisions about my marriage came after I realized how unfair it was for me to expect one person to be my "other half" or "complete me".

Actually, aside from having children and raising them, I'm not sure what the benefits of a monogamous relationship might be.

Maybe a lot of people would be happier if we didn't expect one other person to be our fucking soulmate.

And the idea that women are purer or less sexual than men? What a bunch of bullshit. Women just don't come out and admit they are cheating to other women...because their beloved friends would tell them that "they suck"...Here they say it.

#1121-WOW, could you BE less supportive? He lost 140 pounds in seven months? That is amazing and he (and you) should be so proud of it. Unfortunately, lifting weights and "packing on muscle" is not going to change the loose skin. His skin got stretched out, and lost its elasticity. It is not going to shrink. Most people that lose that much weight need to have plastic surgery to remove the loose skin. It would be a lot more helpful if you called the insurance company to see if they will cover it.

He is not an "anorexic freak". He is a person who went from eating way too much food to eating normal sized portions, right? I bet he only eats when he's hungry, and stops when he's satisfied, right? He is still the guy you fell in love with, just a heck of a lot healthier.

I do agree, however, that he should not just go off the antidepressants without careful doctor supervision. If you still love him and want to be with him, help him. Putting him down and calling him names isn't going to get you anywhere.

Being sexual beings does not prohibit men or women from keeping their word. I don't understand everyone cheating or defending cheating. If your relationship is abusive, get out. If you feel you will never be happy, get out. Don't take the easy, selfish, cowardly, often defended cheating route. You don't get to treat others like crap, just because you think you deserve it. Grow up.

Kudos to you for your eloquence. Your comment summed up everything that I also believe, but it sounded much better than I could've written it.

I too feel it is unrealistic, not to mention unfair, to expect one single person to meet all of our needs.

And I totally understand and agree with what #1122 is saying about her affairs saving her marriage. I am seeing someone on the side now myself, and I've discovered that not only I, but my marriage, have been better for it. I'm happier, more expansive, more generous, and just overall a nicer person because of my friend-with-benefits.

seriously??? you guys really tell yourselves that you're doing a good thing for your marriage by cheating?? if its such a good thing for your marriage, why's it a secret? tell your husbands how you love them so much that you cheat on them to make your marriage better. Tell them, and give them the opportunity to decide if they think you're doing them any favors.....ahhh, but you wouldnt tell them, because its fucked up and you know it. what a bullshit justification...

1:33 is absolutely right. It never ceases to amaze me that there are so many people in the world who fail to recognize, for one reason or another, one of the great universal truths of life. That truth is... and listen up, children...THE WRONG THING IS ALMOST ALWAYS EASIER TO DO THAN THE RIGHT THING. If the right thing were easier everyone would just do that and there would be no way to tell the good people from the bad people. The strength and quality of your character is determined by your ability to do the right thing no matter how difficult it may be. GROW THE FUCK UP!!!! Marriage is not always easy and life is not always fair! Stop blaming everything and everyone for your own moral weakness.

Jesus. You sound miserable. So why do you make him miserable? Why don't you get off your dead ass and find a job that you like, at least do some housework, spend time with your family, maybe then you will feel like you've accomplished something to be proud of. Any day now this man of yours may walk away, and he'd have every right to. Imagine how many women on here would like to have a husband as good as yours. Grow up and take some responsibility for your life.The only thing this man is obligated for is his children. Damn. You must really be a treat to live with ~ someone give this man a halo!!!

1125

It's your body. Call his bluff.

1126

Why can't you see you are fucking up your relationship, and leave the poor man so you can be trashy in peace? Something is really missing in your life, for you to treat someone who loves you that shittily. Feeling that shitty is prob one of the reasons you keep finding new men to be clingy with. How do you look in the mirror? Trash.

~*~*~*~*~

I cannot believe people live like this. Damn, get the hell out, why live miserable and treat someone like shit like this? Why let someone treat you like shit? There are too many programs and shelters and assistance to put up with treatment like this. And the kids in your relationships? How does it feel to fuck up your kids' lives, people?

1129: it makes me sad that you have the best man on the planet, as you say, but you don't want him. some of us have been waiting a loooong time to find a good man, and we're still waiting. it's hard not to lose hope that we'll find him. if you already have one, i'd suggest you don't let him go.

It's offensive for you "whores" to assume that we'll all end up in your position. Some of us have morals and self control and if we DID feel the way you do, it doesn't mean that we will be immoral and act upon our feelings. Listen, you fucking bitch, don't categorize me in your immoral world where you practice no self control. Just go be the skank that you are and leave me out of it.

12:37 - "When a woman does not have her needs met,whether sexual or emotional why not look elswhere?" Because she is a responsible adult who knows the difference between right and wrong, that's why. It is WRONG to cheat on your spouse. Tell yourself as many lies as you want to, so you can look yourself in the mirror and sleep at night. But it is wrong. A good person would get out of the marriage, not cheat on their spouse. Cheaters are immature, greedy, and cruel. You claiming otherwise to justify your behavior does not change the fact that what you did is wrong.

9:09 - "but when you end up there ( and you will)..." No, I won't. Because I have standards for my own behavior. I have basic morals that tell me it's not okay to sleep with someone else when I've promised my husband not to. There's this thing called divorce. I'd go that route long, long, long before I would ever consider cheating on my husband. Why? Because I love him, and I respect him, and I am a decent human being who thinks that people deserve better than that.

12:37, Life isn't as black and white as you would like to lie to yourself about. There is always more to the story of infidelity than you know, whethter it's children, or worse, fear of survival. And it's almost never about going out on an impulse either. Usually its about losing hope in what you've invested in. Either way, stop judging and go thump your bible someplace else.

I wonder just how many women feel the way you ladies obviously do about the men they are with.

No idea. Possibly you could talk to some women and find out.

I no longer feel bad about cheating on my wife in our marriage or for leaving her after so many years.

Or possibly you are such a self-centered, unaware pud that you don't see the incredible irony in what you just wrote, and therefore you'd not be able to hear anguish that anyone else expressed to you. Never mind.

Fuck you, 10:28. ALL women hate their husbands at one time or another, even if it's just for a fleeting moment.Yes, what we write is really true. You are reading what we feel, and if most men would bother to give a shit about their significant other's inner life, perhaps there would be no need for a site like this. So glad we could help you overcome your guilt for cheating on your wife and then leaving her. Sleep well, fuckhead, sleep well.

...or maybe some of us aren't immoral, careless, selfish whores. Maybe some of us would sooner leave a miserable relationship than add fuel to the fire. Maybe some of us VALUE the vows we made, however long ago, and however archaic you may find them.

And you wonder why women are after eachother? Maybe it's because women like YOU give the rest of us a bad name. We all have our indiscretions, but being PROUD of betraying your marriage is disgusting.

Hey, I hope you treasure your vows the same way Haggard treasured his...I bet his wife said the same thing as you santimonious bitches.

I may be a whore, but I am happy, and realistic.

Think of this when you call me a whore...who do you think I'm fucking? Your husbands. I'm not forcing them, I assure you. When they "work late" or "work from home for the day" - they're renting hotel rooms to see me. When he seems a little too happy to see you off for the weekend...guess who he has invited over to fuck him in your bed? When he goes out for drinks with "friends"...yep, seeing me.

So treasure your vows. Go ahead.

And by the way, the sheets you buy are shit. Get into the 21st century.

4:59, you must have a very low opinion of yourself. And you must have been horribly wronged by a lot of men, and maybe women, to think that all of them are unfaithful. But I know for sure that the only woman mine is "fucking", as you so graciously put it, is me. Honestly, not all men are looking for cheap thrills from cheap women.

Get over yourself. You aren't liberated. You aren't realistic. You are everything the media has molded you into. Just another dumb woman with no self-respect.

Woo Hoo! 4:59 you're out there, aren't you? First of all my husband would look at you exactly as you are, a skanky piece of shit. Then he wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole. I believe you are trash and that is what you are speaking of, your trashy fucks from trashy men. Like the one before me said, get over yourself. Do you know how absolutely idiotic you sound? Someday, when you grow up, you'll be embarassed. Trust me.

Wow - why do a lot of you even come to this site if you're so set on judging people for whatever their feelings or actions are? I thought that this was a place where people could be honest and say what's in their hearts, and what's going on in their lives whether or not it's honorable doesn't really matter.

I don't throw stones at anyone, people have reasons for doing what they do. I may not agree, or participate but it's not for me to say anyone is a whore. And why is it that all you do is attack women? There are guys involved too, neither person is honorable but something in their lives have pushed them to do what they're doing. I don't know what those reasons are, and neither do you, so back the fuck off.

9:01- So now there's a justification for cheating on your husband and sleeping with married men? I'm sorry if I can't see any way to defend that what-so-ever. There are men involved, yes, but I don't see any of them BRAGGING to the husbands of the married women they've slept with.

Dearest 4:59:Have you ever noticed that you are an afterthought? A mere fuck to a guy who has a life that doesn't include you at all? Who will be sitting all alone listening to Madame Butterfly and turning her light on and off while her "beloved" is at Grandma's house for Thanksgiving with the wife and kids? Who will be making excuses once again for being alllll alone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and New Years Eve and New Years Day because your "fuck" is with his family, enjoying his real life, while you sit and wait for the next phone call. You are pathetic, and you are deluded. Maybe that cheap little trinket he bought you for Christmas to shut you up and make you open your legs will appease you on those long and lonely days. I'll be sure to buy 450 thread count sheets for my bed, too, so you will be more comfortable while you are being used and debased.

The only patriarchal bullshit is the position you've put yourself in. Secondhand to someone's wife. Used by all the men you throw yourself on. You are EXACTLY where they want you. You don't even have the self-respect to keep your legs closed.

So, you are definetly admitting that in some marriages YOU are part of the problem....Geez! Have some self respect and respect for other women. When you know they are married, turn them down. Then maybe the rest of the world wouldn't look at you as the piece of shit skank you are. I could care less if they are "lining up." You need to practice some self respect and self control and quit being part of the problem. Just how you brag about it shows you ARE that piece of shit skank with no class.

If women weren't willing to sleep with married men (along with the men being willing as well) then the marriage could not be broken. So, yes, they are homewreckers. And most of them that write on this site are married as well. That's double home wrecking, thankyouverymuch.

Thanks 5:33, my sentiments exactly! If you knew how it felt, why do it to somebody else? It's just very shameful. No, she might not be breaking any promises but she's helping to break up a marriage and a family. Think again 4:57. Nobody needs to villify the men here because they pay their price, I guarantee it.

4:57- If there wasn't some skank with her legs wide open, there wouldn't be anywhere for the men to go. They don't go out vigorously searching for someone to cheat on their wives with, contrary to your beliefs. Most often, they are lead astray by some trashy slut like Miss Self-Righteous 4:59. And if she is as "above the patriarchy feminist" as she likes to think she is, then she is breaking the supposed bond she has with other women. She is bragging about being a whore. How can you defend that?

Nobody needs to villify the men here because they pay their price, I guarantee it.

What price would that be? Having two bed partners instead of one? That'll teach him.

Meanwhile, the "whore" you're talking to up there ... according to your views, she's one of the most pathetic rags of human flesh ever to exist. She has no love, no respect, no future. Seems to me that in your universe, she pays the price. Nobody needs to vilify her. So why is everyone doing it?

Because she is here bragging about it. She's proud to be a homewrecker. She's the one putting herself out there. Not me. Yes, men pay the price. Quit defending her. Unless, you have the same lame morals.

7:32 - Thank you, you sound a little too reasonable to be a part of this discussion :)

I don't understand how women can think it's just predatory women out there stearing men down a crooked path. Puhleeze. Lots and lots of men are on the prowl all the time, married or not. And if you're so convinced that yours isn't out there with eyes wide open you're probably the most likely to get cheated on. I know this for a fact because it happened to me. I had utter faith in my husband, I had no trust issues what-so-ever but it happened just the same. So, becareful what you say because there's every possibility that you're living in a fantasy world of your very own making, and when it comes crashing down on you, you really have no one to blame but yourself because you've been living so clueless.

I will say that I KNOW where my husband is 100% of the time. He is either at work (and he works less then 2 miles from home) or at home with me. I have SEEN women come up to him in a bar (while there with me) and try to get him to go home with them. So yes there are predatory women out there. Guess I am one of the lucky ones. BTW he doesn't have a cell and I am the only person who answers our phone at home and when I need to talk to him at work I can get him right to the phone (he works in a factory and he is not salary and I see his pay stubs when he gets paid). Heck I have even told him to go out with the guys from work and have fun, they come to my house and drink and chat on my front porch.

That being said not all cheaters are preyed on. Some do the preying and actually lie about being married. Been there done that before I met my husband. No ring worn and I even met his parents and friends. No clue he was married until she came up to me one day and then I found out the truth. What a mess!!! I ran away from him as fast as I could because one thing I didn't want to be was a homewrecker. He was married and it wasn't to me so he was out of my life for good. (Still upsets me to think I was with him and he was married. Trust me back ground checks became the norm for my next boyfriend ~ who is now my husband.)

BUT to brag about the fact that you are out their screwing someone's husband for fun and making a joke out of their marriage. You are klassy. Glad that I don't know you.

As disgusted as I am by the sluts who are bragging about their conquests here I have to say the the men are just as likely to be on the prowl. I am divorced and belong to an internet dating site and in the two months I have been there I have been contacted by many men, only two of whom I have had correspondence of any length. The first finally came right out and told me he was married. He had said in his profile that he was divorced. The second, I began to suspect he was married and confronted him about it. He fessed up. He had put that he was separated in his profile. His excuse was that he and his wife no longer have sex so in a sense they ARE separated! Yeah right. I explained to him that is he wanted to get f%$#@d that bad he could go f%$k himself. I have since removed my profile and resigned myself to meeting men the old fashioned way. My point is that there are a lot of men out there looking to cheat, but that does not mean the women who screw them. knowing they are married are any less guilty.

Oh, and to those of you who are so proud of the notches on your bedposts....you may be a whore but Karma is a bitch and eventually she will be coming for you.

1130 - Amen sister! It is NEVER ok to treat your children with disrespect. Children learn what they live and live what they learn. Little girls who grow up seeing daddy disrespect mommy will probably accept disrespect in their own relationships. Little boys who see daddy disrespect mommy will probably not only disrespect mommy too but all the other women in their lives as well. Not to mention, what kind of a message are we are mothers sending to our kids when WE accept it? If I knew your husband I'd give him a piece of my mind.

I love it, as a single guy, who prays on you poor deprived bitches, its like going to a buffet...cry me a river while im pumping on you, boo hoo hoo...unhappy in your marriage and think you will somehow fill that void?...lets fuck...i get the best of it..i get to fuck you then send you back to your miserable existence without getting all the bullshit that goes with your pathetic life.. the energy you spend finding me to fuck you..you could be spending on your marriage and family...but what the hell do i care...im single, and plan on staying that way...you think i really give a shit about you?..you think i want to inherit your fucked up way of life? NOT! i will tell you what you want to hear, just like ill tell your friend who is looking for the same thing....to us who fuck MILF's and the miserably married, you are just a piece of meat.... think about this while your cheating....if you would cheat on your husband, why would you think that we single guys respect you?...your just a whore to us, and when we are done fucking you, we will be there to fuck your girlfriends....consider this, we are single because we already learned our lesson...and you are teaching another man the exact same thing that we single men learned.