nothing in here is true

Wednesday, June 2, 2004

Tony –

Just wanted to say that I watched the Miss Universe 2004 competition tonight, because it’s all you’ve been talking about lately. It was a good time – and for the record, I picked Mrs. Austrailia from the second I saw her. Great choice. Anyway, in the light of Miss Universe, I came up with a few questions that you are welcome to answer on the busblog: I figured, if anything, should give you good writing materal:

** Q. If you could hang out with one famous person for a day, who would it be and why? (Dead or alive.)

A. Jesus. I would like to know what he likes and doesnt like about modern times. What if he doesn’t care about pornography, but really hates tooth decay? I think He is probably the most misunderstood historical person and I would like to know how we’re misunderstanding Him today.

** Q. Who are the top 10 underrated bloggers on the Internet?

A. this is bound to hurt some feelings, so thanks for putting me on the spot. by “underrated” i will say that i dont see them getting the same amount of praise and recognition that i do. and all of these people kick my ass in several ways and i enjoy watching them do it. they’re all regular reads of mine and i love what they do. So, in no particular order:

and there are dozens more…

** Q. You claim to be a devout Christian, and a priest, as far as I know. Yet you constantly cuss and have sex before marriage. Whats up with that, Mr. Priest?

A. First of all Priests are generally ministers of the Catholic church. I was baptised Catholic and raised Catholic but I am no longer Catholic. I am simply Christian.

As for cussing and having sex before marriage. There is nothing about either of those things that is wrong in the eyes of the bible.

there is a passage that says “it’s not what goes into your mouth, but what comes out of your mouth” (that you should be careful about.) But that is usually understood as meaning, “who cares if you eat kosher, veggie, and take your vitamins, how about not being such a fucking sexist racist loudmouth judging prick.”

we struggled with the concept of dont eat the fruit of that tree or you will die. so i imagine God knew that if he told us not to say certain words our head would probably explode or we’d name all our kids fucky out of spite.

language is one of the most wonderful parts of being a human, one of the coolest things that the Lord blessed us with, and if you ask me the best part of what seperates us from apes. without a healthy understanding and respect of “cussing” we would never have reached this, the era of wtf.

Sex before marriage is allowed as long as you aren’t doing it with a member of your family, animals, or married people.

(Divorced people are sometimes still considered married people since in most weddings they say things like “until death do we part” and “let no man tear apart what God has brought together.”)

And it’s not the sex part that is the sin, it’s the breaking of the commitment to your spouse and God that’s at issue.

Even the most active humans ending up having sex less than 1% of their lives (divide minutes of having sex into minutes alive). It’s not suprising that it’s talked about approximately that much in the good book as well.

** ** Q. What’s your top 5 favorite movies of all time?

A. 1. The Blues Brothers

2. Jurrasic Park

3. The Jerk

4. Old School

5. Ferris Beuller’s Day Off

Q. What’s your dream girl?

** Q. If you could be born in one time period, what would it be and why?

A. everything cool that has happened in technology happened as i was growing up at the perfect time for me to understand it. similarilly theres no way i would have been able to study in college if the internet was around. and without my college degree i wouldnt have been considered to be in the xbi. so even though im older than a lot of the kids in the blogosphere, i really am glad that i grew up in a simpler time before cable and before the web, because i was able to do little things like use my imagination and write stories on paper. sometimes i would even read a book.

** Q. Why don’t you have a contest with the prize being the honor of taking over the busblog for a day?

A. ive had guest writers on the busblog before and it wasnt received as nicely as i was hoping it would be. plus i think people come here to read what i have to say. i think i do a better than average job of spreading the love in other ways.

also its sorta like saying, heres a contest with the prize being the honor of fucking my wife for a few hours. fuck your own fucking wife.