Trump Seals Republican Nomination After Winning Nuremberg Primary

Donald Trump has been confirmed as the Republican Presidential Candidate at a rally in Nuremburg stating it was especially fitting to win the race here as it was like an ‘ideological pilgrimage.’ Wearing a black Hugo Boss suit and standing in front of his new campaign banner of a red, white and blue crooked cross, Trump whipped his acolytes into a frenzy stating ‘America’s enemies would disappear into Night and Fog and the nation would rise again.’

A Trump aide, Untersturmfuhrer Thomas Muller, was on hand to provide further detail. He said, ‘Der Fuhrer is going to get this country on its feet again, for too long it has been ruled by the Communist traitors of 2008 who stabbed this country in the back. He’s got a job creation program which centres on strengthening the military, we’re going to reintroduce conscription to teach discipline and obedience to the nation in the nation’s and freeways, we’re going to build lots of freeways! We’ve also set up a fun club for boys called the Trump Youth, they do the usual things boys do, they camp, play games, and inform the authorities of their parents crimes.’

Speaking of his potential Democratic opponents, Trump ranted, ’Clinton is a mother, she has already provided the greatest service to the nation as we create an American master race, however the Bolshevik Jew Sanders is the real threat, perhaps greater than the Mongrel Obama. Their Social Democratic clique handed this country to the Communists when they stabbed this country in the back. We were not defeated in 1918, Germany was strong and will emerge victorious again. DEUTSCHLAND DEUTSCHLAND UBER ALLES!!!!! Wait sorry what? Oh sorry….wrong meeting…America…..Oh….Oh….Ehhhhh….Oh yes…Oh HAIL CAN YOU SEE…’