Though Hugh Jackman now has a solid handle on fatherhood, his first few weeks of being a dad weren’t easy. The actor, who is raising two adopted children with wife Deborra-Lee Furness, had barely a clue about how to handle a baby, and so resorted to trying to do everything by the book.

“I was surprised how little my own parenting instincts kicked in,” the 45-year-old X-Men star recently explained. “I was a bit of a pain in the arse at first, insisting he couldn’t have a bottle straight before bed because I’d read up on it.

“My own mother finally said, ‘Look, you may have read a lot of books, but the kid [Oscar] hasn’t, so put them down.'”

Hugh Jackman continued, “But I was quite a fearful kid myself. Heights, the dark…I put a fear of flying into Wolverine that wasn’t in the script. I thought, ‘I can’t like somebody who isn’t scared of anything.'”

He also previously explained to Oprah Winfrey, “I was afraid of the dark, I was afraid of heights. I made myself get over those fears… If anything comes up to me… and I feel frightened of it, I have to attack it, because I’m terrified that it will creep into other areas of my life and start to take over.”

When asked what he’s afraid of now, he replied, “Not being my best. Not being my best when it mattered.”

Suddenly, this celebrity dad overdosing on the parenting books makes even more sense. Though he didn’t come right out and say it, having a baby to care for for the first time is scary — so of course he went into overdrive trying to find a way to deal with it. His mother’s advice, though? Perfect.

In general, I think my instincts showed up on time when I was a new mom. When the baby cries, you reach out and pick him up. The bouncing and shushing just follow naturally. I did, of course, wish my kids came with an instruction manual from time to time, but once they were born I didn’t cling to parenting books the way I had obsessed over What to Expect When You’re Expecting and every other pregnancy book I could find.

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7 Responses to Parenting instincts? Not for by-the-book Hugh Jackman

Elfriedasays:

May 4, 2014 at 6:25 pm

I don’t have very good instincts with young babies. It’s much easier for me to “feel” the right thing to do as they get to be 9+ months. The second time around I was much better at baby-rearing, though, so I did learn some things!

LKsays:

May 5, 2014 at 3:58 am

I did not read any parenting books. I just figured that whatever I did would be fine, and in the few cases where I had no idea what to do, I called my mom or asked my doctor at the next well-child visit. I figured I was “the mom” so whatever I did would be fine…. and I know I am a little biased, but my kids are pretty great!

liasays:

May 5, 2014 at 4:46 am

I may have had good insticts but I was too tired to not question myself them at the beginning. What to expect the first year was my Bible until my son turned 9-10 months and I had found my “sane” self again. I can’t see why insticts can’t work hand in hand with knowledge. There’s nothing wrong to admit that you don’t suddenly know everything about babies the moment you give birth. And now, with an almost 5 years old, I still want to turn to books – or babycenter- for advice sometimes. No-one is born a perfect parent and I applaude the parents who don’t feel like “know it / feel it all”.

Ginasays:

May 5, 2014 at 7:25 am

I want someone to check in on Simon Cowell and see if he’s changed one yet.

I think everyone has parenting instincts, it’s just whether or not you listen to them. Hugh was clearly to paralyzed by fear to hear his own, and I think it’s like that for a lot of people. My kid was sick and early, yet I was getting frustrated by the NICU nurses who wanted to be sure I knew everything. All I really needed to know was the name of his meds, and what to say to 911 in an emergency. The rest of it was a cake walk. You know what your baby needs, they may not use words but if you listen they’ll tell you. Reading books just stresses people out, because when your kid acts like a kid and not an abstract example you start freaking out. So I didn’t read any parenting books and I don’t intend to start.

I believe my parenting instincts kicked in after my son was born. It was not the case when I had to handle other’s babies – I was scared!
I started changing the diapers on the second day, did have trouble holding him initially and rocking him because of an awkward position but the wife and close family friends helped. Did not read any book on parenting, but did go online to check remedies for common symptoms like cold and cough.

I am still learning…

Jamiesays:

May 7, 2014 at 5:46 am

Why does every article about his children have to state “his adopted children”. They are his children. Period. Why the segregation?

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