It's all written down in a book. Every strategy that every hedge fund manager everywhere uses, is completely laid bare and thoroughly discussed. There are no "secret formulas" or "proprietary systems" or "well developed human instincts", just this one set of strategies in this one book, which anybody can buy and read and implement for themselves. If you scoot down to Powell's, or The Strand, or Stacy's, or Foyle's, or City Light, they'll sell you a copy straightaway. Ask for "Cyclopaedia of Hedge Fund Strategies, volumes 1 and 2".

1) buy lots of computers and print out lots of complicated info
2) go long the market (any market) with no hedges, at high leverage. Call it an early month and dont come into the office more than once a month, party every night.
3) while out partying, network, make contacts, and have jp morgan or GS take a small position in your fund
4) when the market is going against you, call GS or JP morgan and remind them that they are losing money too
5) JP and GS call the PPT and the fed, who then bail out their buddies with taxpayer money, and then the hedge fund is safe