How You Deal with Being Misunderstood

Especially by people you don’t personally know. Or at least, aren’t close enough to judge.

Here’s to people like me; People who are a little more loud… People who take their chances.. And people who are trying…. 😉

You actually know you’re not well-liked.

As people always say, we tend to focus on the bad things more than we do on the good things. And this is no exception. You may be very loved and blessed but you’re also very well-aware of how you’re disliked. You know there are people who dislike you with a passion… I wouldn’t use the word hate though.

You’ve heard ridiculous rumours about yourself.

From that person you’ve never even had a conversation with before. Uh… Seriously. Trust me, I know this all too well. I’ve heard tons of bullshit people say about me. I’ve heard how someone doesn’t like me but we’ve never even been friends.

But then again, it never mattered – it doesn’t matter until you’ve heard it straight from the person. It’s different from when a person spreads a rumour behind your back vs a person coming up to you and telling it in your face (let’s just ignore keyboard warriors, they’re irrelevant). And let’s be real, most Singaporeans like to gossip and bitch about others as lunch conversations. So seriously, just let the matter rest. Put these people behind you.

At times, you feel misunderstood and upset.

Sometimes it gets to me when I hear about an acquaintance not liking me. I start to question what I’ve done wrong. Surely I have no intention to please, but I can’t help but to wonder what I’ve done so wrong for people to actually comment things about me. I wouldn’t say that about someone else, so why would they do it to me?

But you see them viewing your IG stories…

Or even accidentally liking your IG photos…… And then you think, why are people so concerned with people they seriously dislike? Tbh, if I don’t like someone, I wouldn’t even be bothered about his or her existence. Much less know his/her ig handle to even stalk their accounts.

You realise they don’t actually dislike you.

This sounds like a narcissistic statement to make – but to be motherf*cking honest, they don’t actually dislike you, they’re obsessed. They have opinions about the way you do things – but then they don’t know you well enough to know what you’re actually doing. So they’re passing comments based on the way you portray yourself on social media. And who the fuck actually cares what you post besides people who’re concerned?

You get over it.

It’s been a good 10 years since I’ve started writing and putting (part of) my life on display. I started off talking about every lil shit I do. Over the years, I take a break, keep some things private, but still I’m not entirely off social media. These years have been a whole lot of toughin’ up and practice. Lessons learnt all the time. It started off with anonymous comments and hate mails even when I was a 12 year old. It’s stupid. It started off making me feel doubtful about what i’m doing.

But with all these years of stupid people trying to get in the way of you doing things, you learn to let go and not mind what others say. You also start to acknowledge that there’s a little truth in every hate comment – they get really critical about the way you do things. And that’s also mostly how I learn to be a better person.

Their comments about you may be ridiculous sometimes – but it certainly reflects a little of the way you do things, or the things you do. I pick up these little hints from every (constructive) critique and I feel like it really shaped me to who I am today.

You learn that it’s not important to be understood

By people who don’t matter. Truth is, everyone’s going to use their own ways to look at you. People are going to say things they want, regardlessly. Regardless of how you portray yourself and please others, people who dislike you and have issues will continue to have issues. Like we always say, Haters gonna hate.

The most appropriate photo for the article – Graduation shoot 2016.

To hell with haters.

So dear Misunderstood You, keep doing you.

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
– Winston Churchill