Bra Fitting 101

It is a common declaration that the majority of women wear the wrong bra size. “Everyone but me,” you’re probably thinking. That’s what I thought until a recent trip to Victoria’s Secret proved me wrong.

Here’s the Story: Since the beginning of time, ( prepare for a personal confession) I’ve been wearing a 34C. While it was never a perfect fit, I didn’t think it would get any better. I thought shoulder pain was just that, the twins were an awkward shape, and that I had a little back-fat. Basically- I blamed it on myself. Oh, how typical and self-deprecating…

Within the last couple weeks, 2 of my favorite bras had reached their breaking points: the clasp broke on one and the wire popped out of the other. “Guess it’s time to go shopping,” I thought.

I wanted to pop in and pop out. Just as I was exiting the dressing room, the sales associate grabbed me, felt me up, and said, “Oh no, honey… there’s no way these are the right size for you.”

She proceeded to hand me several 34Ds and shoved me back in the dressing room.

“I’ll just try them on, show her they’re too big, and that will shut her up because she’s WRONG,” I thought.

But she was so right. I left with The Fabulous, The Amazing, and Body by Victoria Demi Bra, all in a 34D. No more back fat, no more shoulder pain, no double cleavage. I feel like I’ve got a whole new set of tits. And at an average $50/brazierre, that’s the feeling you should get.

In conclusion, here are the symptoms of an ill-fitting bra:

The panel between the girls isn’t flat against your skin.

The cups are wrinkled and/or the cups are gaping.

You have 4 boobs instead of 2.

You have 1 boob instead of 2.

The back strap rides up and/or creates back fat.

The straps pull on your shoulders, causing discomfort.

Boobage is popping out in any or all directions.

Properly-fit undergarments are the foundation of any outfit. They create smoother lines, help defy gravity, and keep everything in place while instilling comfort and ease. Squishing, squeezing, pinching, and poking need not apply.

My recommendation? You can buy a measuring tape and try to figure out your size by yourself, or you can devote a 1/2 hour or so to trying them on with a professional. Head to your nearest undergarment shop and have someone help you. Let them measure you. Let them see you in the bra, without a shirt on (we all have the same parts, don’t be shy.) And try on 100 bras until you find a couple that make you look and feel like the sexy bird that you are.