Lord of the Mood Rings

An Orthodox Fairy Tale

by Steve Lammert

Fr. Frodo sat at his breakfast table, drinking his morning coffee (without
sugar) and gazing out over the Listshire.

Suddenly, there was a sharp rapping at the door.

"Who is it?!" he cried out. "KGB?"

A long white beard suddenly thrust itself through the round, open window. It
cascaded from the face of the wizard Vladyka, who seemed in no mood for
name-calling. Fr. Frodo could see him gripping his staff, his klobuk riding low
over his ears.

"Fr. Frodo, kindly open your door before I blast it off its hinges, down your
corridor, and out through the hillside!"

"Vladyka! Half a moment! I thought you were the KGB!"

"Then you are forgiven. I am afraid that all too many people have thought and
said similar things of late. These are dark times."

Vladyka entered, bowing low (not out of humility -- the ceilings in Fr.
Frodo's hole were only four feet high) and sat down before the fire.

"I understand that you have a Ring to show me, Fr. Frodo?"

"Yes, Vladyka! It was left to me by my uncle Eudora."

"What do you think it does, Fr. Frodo?"

"Why, it shows me the moods of others! I simply place it on my finger, and
suddenly I am able to see into their hearts, read their temperaments! Why, just
yesterday, I wore it while reading one of your own sermons, and visions of hot
peppers danced before my eyes!"

"Fr. Frodo. May I recommend that you put that Ring away? Such Rings seem like
trifles, but they are perilous, even to the innocent. The Wise fear such
instruments."

"But, why, Vladyka?"

"Because, dear Fr. Frodo, they are so often misused. A Ring such as this was
designed for the wearer to gauge his *own* mood, read his *own* feelings, and so
learn to temper his passions. But, sadly, the Mood Rings of Power are not limited
to self-examination."

"A person, Fr. Frodo, who acquires a Mood Ring of Power, can examine not only
his own emotions, but also the feelings and emotions of others. As you yourself
have experienced! Far from allowing you to recognize and quell your passions, you
have already used it to evaluate and judge even me! Do you see the danger?"

"I am sorry, Vladyka. I shall not wear the Ring again, and will strive to
refrain from judging others. But what shall I do with the Ring? I cannot destroy
it, for it is an Open Source Ring, and can easily be found and used by
others."

"Dear Fr. Frodo, you are right indeed. The Ring cannot be unmade. But you may
help undo its power."

"How, Vladyka? Tell me!"

"By your own carriage and behavior, Fr. Frodo. As you live and move among your
fellow citizens of the Listshire, show by your own words and actions the sort of
person you wish others to be. Then others will not desire a Ring of their own
with which to read your mood, but will instead desire to follow you and acquire
for themselves the spirit of unmoodiness."

Vladyka turned to go. "Did I say that these were dark times? Aye, they are.
But if we dwell on the darkness, it will consume us. Dwell rather in the
light!"