Get a clue, get a date

Don't break up with someone on a holiday or on a boat. Make it a run-of-the-mill Tuesday in a semi-private place where the person can leave quickly.

If you went out on just one date, a break-up text message is OK. After a couple dates, make the phone call. After a month, you gotta do it in person.

Say it's you. And only you. Don't say "We fight too much" or "You aren't right for me." Say "I'm not happy," or "This isn't going in the direction I want." Then the person can't refute the breakup or offer to change.

If you were dumped, take a shower every day. Do your hair. Put on nice clothes. Exercise three times a week. You'll feel better no matter how unfair the situation.