Learning to Fly

I grew up with the four H's: Holy Land, Holocaust, Hebrew and Holidays. But it was the fifth H that changed my life.

I spent half my life agnostic and the rest, God-focused. Growing up in a Los Angeles-based Conservative Jewish family, we never dabbled in theology but we relished in our culture and peoplehood. In the synagogue, our clergy and teachers presented everything other than belief, concentrating on what I like to call the four H’s: Holy Land, Holocaust, Hebrew and Holidays. It filled my soul with meaning and substance.

Then I discovered that there’s a fifth “H” in the formula: Holiness. I’m hard pressed to recommend a way to incorporate this core Jewish value without bringing God into the picture. Post-college I started asking fundamental questions, comparing my feelings of universal connectedness to the teachings of Judaism. On a trip to Israel in 1985 my light was turned on. I discovered that in Jerusalem, living a holy life with 24/7 belief in God was natural, normal, even fashionable. I could have lived my whole life in the Southern California fast lane and never opened this can of worms. Many of my deepest intuitions about God were confirmed in that City of Gold and although I didn’t realize it at the time, my Jewish “pilot light” was primed to explode.

The “fifth H” may be free in Jerusalem but in L.A. I was going to have to work to get it.

After that trip I lived with a generous helping of cognitive dissonance since my life back in L.A. as a musician didn’t flow with the rigorous lifestyle of believers. However, try as I may, I could not return to my comfortable “unexamined life.” After a few years in limbo I decided to take a few proactive steps to get back on the holiness track. The “fifth H” may be free in Jerusalem but in L.A. I was going to have to work to get it.

One crucial step was moving into a Jewish community. Living close to a synagogue (or in my case 40 of them) was essential to normalizing a God-focused consciousness. I don’t think I had the moral strength to make these spiritual strides in a vacuum. Perhaps this is why God invented peer pressure.

The other change was my committing to Shabbat. I think the Torah emphasizes this ritual over any other because it offers consistent physical, financial and emotional evidence that one is serious about the relationship. You can’t hope your marriage will last if you insist on flings on the side. I remember my last gig on Shabbat; it was clear to me that the exponential growth that I was experiencing didn’t jive with the driving, shlepping gear, plugging in and getting a paycheck. Just like my marriage has bloomed beyond my wildest expectations thanks to the infernal power of Commitment, so too has my love affair with the Creator of the universe.

I can relate to the parable of the miserable bird in the Garden of Eden. The bird complains to God that all the other animals have arms and hands and it got stuck with burdensome appendages at its sides. God then explains that those strange limbs are actually wings and with them the bird can fly!

Mitzvot, commandments, are our wings, not the burden that we might have thought. For me, the clumsy appendages were the dietary restrictions that I ignored, the day of rest on which I trampled and the idea of standing in a sanctuary singing words I didn’t understand. Like most Jews I was content to do it “My Way” and live with a vague, hibernating feeling of guilt.

In the first half of my life, Judaism was relaxed and sweet; questions of belief in God rarely came up and that was fine. I loved my Jewish summer camp memories, learned enough for my Bar Mitzvah that I didn’t feel like an imbecile in the shul and could appreciate a good deli sandwich. Then I took a series of baby steps down a path towards commitment. The first four H's taught me to walk. Now I'm learning how to fly.

Related Articles:

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Sam Glaser is a performer, composer and music producer in Los Angeles. His 22 bestselling Jewish CDs include The Songs We Sing, Hineni, A Day in the Life, Across the River, and the recently-released, Hallel. He scores for film and TV in his Glaser Musicworks recording studio and concertizes and teaches in over 50 cities each year. He was named one of the top ten American Jewish artists by Moment magazine, has sung the Star Spangled banner at Dodgers Stadium and Staples Center and has won John Lennon and Parent's Choice awards. Visit him online at www.samglaser.com.

Visitor Comments: 11

We have to constantly work (everyday) for holiness. I have 3 of the 5 H's and hope that one day I can fulfil the other two!

(9)
b.kline,
November 6, 2011 10:36 PM

The combination of jazz and bourbon will always take a person to the dizzy heights of life - to realise priorities, unfortunately 'H' is not a happy letter, it has been the initial of despots all through history or even organisations and this darker side to 'H' is still plaguing Jews and Israel and, no doubt will continue to do so...

(8)
Ann Brady,
November 6, 2011 8:30 PM

To Wings and Strings!

Ah, Sam Glaser, reading your wonderful article reminds me of why I have prayed to G-d for a husband who is a man 'with strings attached.' Nia:weh!

(7)
Sharon Rappaport,
November 6, 2011 7:33 PM

Beautiful

Beautiful.

(6)
Carol,
November 6, 2011 5:35 PM

so true

You don't have to be Jewish to serve a Hebrew G-d, Thank you

(5)
Gershon,
November 6, 2011 5:24 PM

Is there a god?

Many many years ago when I was in graduate school, I had a long walk home after a long evening of listening to jazz, many shots of bourbon, and many questions of what, why, how. (This is very common at that stage of life.) I had been brought up a Christian in a poor god-fearing community. One time I examined the question of the existence of G-d. A yes answer solves many problems: We certainly NEED G-d. The scientist in me answered that that is a ridiculous answer: How often are we given something simply because of need and want? NEVER.
That response left me sick for three days and a "born again atheist." Nothing had changed. My behavior and ethics were the same. I could empathaize with religious people, but none of that nonsense applied to me. I was happy and comfortable. My goals in life remained the same. I had seen death and the fact I must face it, sooner or later, did not bother. Heaven was simply wishful thinking which I found much later does not concern many of us.
I worked a very full career and helped raise a family in a very rural affluent community. I finally lost that family. (Her fault??) I was impressed with Judaism and Jewish science and so had to take Judaism 101. I was observant until I was forced out of that community due to unfortunate (but just) divorce laws and rental laws that could be gamed. I wound up too far from a shul to continue the formal worship. I loved the traditions, but found myself completely alone. The practice of Judaism seems to assume a couple.
After another move, I could seek a shul. The traditions are not esential to me. Perhaps making music will suffice. Does HaShem need my praise? Certainly not. Do I need to praise Him? I am not certain. Does He even exist? As a scientist, I must admit "insufficient data."
I appreciate Sam's letter. Alas, I have only part of the four H's and miss the rest. I think I will not be able to fill them in in the few years remaining for me.

Anonymous,
November 7, 2011 3:18 PM

Gershon, your questions are reasonable at how you have approached them. The past several years I went over old familiar teaching that I had heard throughout my life, at different ages and stages. I didn't plan to set out on that adventure, it was just before me with one decision I had planned on. This wasn't for me, about the existence of God, however, what others taught about God. As a scientist, you know about experimenting formulas. What works and what doesn't. Going over old familiar teaching, was looking back what was said, and through experiencing what was taught, learning what works and what doesn't. My questions isn't, does God exist, I'm aware of that, however realizing, I question what man has said about God. To question that, is being Jewish.

(4)
Rick,
November 6, 2011 5:07 PM

That says it all !

Short but what a great analysis of what growing as a Jew means
Thanks Sam !

(3)
Joel G.,
November 6, 2011 3:22 PM

parable of bird in garden of eden

Can anyone (Sam G maybe?) tell me from where the parable of the bird in the Garden of Eden is mentioned?
I lilke that short reference but would like to know if it is a Sam G original or from somewhere else?
Nice article

(2)
Diane Anderson,
November 6, 2011 2:36 PM

I am not a Jew but think we all should learn to fly. This was a very good read. Thank you.

(1)
ruth housman,
November 6, 2011 2:12 PM

Learning to Fly

There's a wonderful song, that goes, "I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings..." When I was a very little girl I was convinced I could fly, so I stood on the bed, and flapped my wings (arms) but couldn't quite take off, but since then, I have had flying dreams.
Birds are related to dinosaurs, and dino soars, is aurally I think significant, meaning the word itself, seems to contain that notion of flight.
Within flight, the word, is light, so maybe that's the "key", and we all will take flight, sooner, or later, as dreams may come true.
I think in all this, a personal journey of soul, we need to be very careful not to judge others who take different solo flights, because we are each of us journeying through time and space, in our own way, and every story has its "ups" and its "downs".
People who are not quite "there", in perceiving the ubiquity of what is Divine, are not necessarily bad people, and they are, perhaps, where they are meant to be, just as you were, when you were questioning, and moved from one place, to the exalted, "other".
I love life's diversity of beliefs, and I feel we're all in this together, and perhaps on different rungs of the same ladder for a reason. We can always lend a helping hand to others, and who is to say, that those below do not have important insights to share. I think atheists, given life's true sorrows, and the rocks of cruelty, actually keep us honest.
We need everyone, and everyone "kneads" us.
It's a story, and I say, it's the most amazing story, ever told.
Maybe one day the Master Storyteller will emerge with us, as we all hold hands around the world and take our bows.
You just never know. And mystery itself is redolent of the notion, the very word itself, of MY STORY.

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
Rabbi Twerski's new book Twerski on Machzor makes Rosh Hashanah prayers more meaningful. Click here to order...