MW, the sites pretty much always been chat box centric, pretty much since we got a XAT box. You just aren't on it that much. I think reviving the discussion threads is a good idea, by the way, go for it. I don't think it was intended for us to be a mainly RP site, but that's how it went down I guess. Not that that's a bad thing at all, I really like the RP's we do.

Well, I'm finally back after days without internet. Since I've been gone, I felt really depressed. Like I've said before, my parents are struggling with smoking and alcohol addiction whilst living in a loveless marriage, school is like a concentration camp, and I've recently discovered that I live in the most taxed, expensive city in the entire country.

While the internet was out, I was close to suicide at every waking moment. The only thing that kept me going was the drive to see everyone at Hyrule Field again, so I'm glad I'm back. I know every time this happens, I say the same things over and over again, but that's all offline life is anymore, the same shit on a different day.

Well, on the other hand, I at least got to see The Hunger Games last Friday, and it actually wasn't that bad. I mean, it's like Twilight, but everything is actually enjoyable by everyone. The female lead actually gets shit done instead of being a damsel-in-distress, the plot is well-written instead of being just mindless fanservice, and it's much more relatable and realistic, despite being in a crapsack world filled with Eldritch Abominations, a tyrannical government, and one big fight to the death. I smell an RP!

Im glad ur back, but mario, you are WAY to young to think about suicide. Look, I've been in your situation before, except my parents were separated. Its not worth taking ur life over. It seems bad, but it will get better, you just live one day at a time. The two most wasted days are Yesterday and tomorrow, because one has happened and one is in the past. Live for today.

What Menrow said, yeah. If you liked the movie I'd suggest reading the book series, it's almost exactly the same. I think an RP was attempted but didn't go, we might be able to do one now if enough people watch the movie.

But a bath. It has a connection to childhood. When we are little its like, oh, take a bath, well let me get all my toys and have fun. It has that connection of happiness and innocence kinda, even if ur sitting in dirty stuff.

And that's another thing. When you shower, its like oh him clean and done. But you never really sure and am like what, did I get everything out and stuff. A bath, you see it. Sure its probley gross if you think to much into it, but its like, you know your clean. The dirt and filth is gone from your body. Not only that, but sometimes your soul.

The bathtub is a connection almost. Theres no one you have to get ready for or rush it just to get clean. Its just you and the universe through being surrounded by water. It holds a feeling of being embraced of, sorta not being alone. That you can leave your thoughts in it that trouble you and they will go down the drain. A shower, its water flowing over your body, a quick fling and its gone.

I don't know, I guess I just wanted to share my insight drablings of a stupid woman XD. Something of a break in all the TF2 everywhere.

But I have to agree with some prior posts. The forum isn't half as active as the actual chatbox itself.I mean, this is to be expected with a site that only supports about 15 members max. But I think if we cleaned things up and got the site more forum oriented, new people would be more encouraged to visit more often. :3

Ever since I got a girlfriend, I've been kinda happy lately, and only things bad about her? She's not much of a gamer, and she is more of a country girl, I'm just an Otaku, but she loves how I'm always smiling, kind to her, and a great listener.

And a week or so ago, I was going to take her to see a movie, but we ended up just walking around the mall, but we had fun, and we learned quite a bit about each other.

Problem with us dating? Her aunt is a teacher I despise with a passion, but I'm glad that I can keep an "A" in that class, but (Her name will be Chel, for her privacy." Chel would NEVER let anyone take me from her, she's quite protective, and I protect her, and blah blah blah.

We ended up kissing at the end of our date, but it was on the cheek, but I had tears of joy at the end of the night, and we talked the day after.

That is my social life, and sorry if it seems kinda...eh, but what to expect when you live in an area that has purely nothing.

Hey everyone, I know I rarely post here, but I think I should get something off my chest real quick. If your going to read this, read it ALL THE WAY through so you may understand, since this jumps back and forth a bit.

Okay, stay with me on this. As you may know from my avatar, I am a huge brony. Lately, some members of the site said I should stop talking about ponies all the time and I should stop posting pony-related pictures everywhere.

A couple of days ago, I realized that I was probably letting it get a little out of hand, and I was. I thought back to MenrowSpirit becoming sad about her liking yaoi, and how everyone on the site convinced her that it was nothing to be ashamed of. So, I've come up with a different solution. Maybe I should finally let out all my thoughts in one big Life Topic post, and showing you how they fit up to MLP: FIM. Here goes.

As with any normal teenager, I keep thinking to myself about all the stress I have and am often depressed. We all know that we can be selfish, cruel, and cold to anyone else during any sadness episodes. There are a couple incidents in particular I would like to discuss with anyone who's reading.

One day, about two months ago at the date of this posting, me, my cousin, and a "friend" of mine were riding our bikes up and down the street. Now, me being one of the few, or possible only, site members who live in a big city, (I live in Chicago btw) we could only ride up and down the street in front of our buildings.

Me and my cousin have different apartments in the same building, so we see each other often. The "friend" I'm talking about is a kid I know from school. Notice the quotations. He's not as bad as some of the kids I know from school, but he can be quite a *Ganondorf* sometimes.

Anyway, on this particular day, we had been hanging out for about an hour already. My "friend" had been joking around quite a bit with me and my cousin. Now, me and my cousin are very quiet kids. We're the type of people who prefer rainy weather, as you might say. We're not depressed, just quiet and shy. That's why we hang out so often. We're neither glass-half-empty or glass-half-full people, we simply believe that if you pour half of the glass out, it's half-empty, and if you pour liquid in halfway, it's half-full.

Now, my family is not quite poor, per se. We don't live in "projects", the neighborhood isn't dirty or poor, and there aren't any "gangstas." Since my family has Italian heritage, we naturally decided to live in a Little Italy-like area when we moved to the city from a small suburb when I was about six years old. It's actually pretty quaint, but we all don't have a lot of money, and there is probably a chance that some businesses are fronts for the mob. Anyway, me being Italian, I love Mario, and thus, that's how I got my original username.

Since everyone around here could all use some extra cash, out of the corner of my eye while riding my bike, I noticed a Wal-Mart gift card lying on the sidewalk. Naturally, I picked it up. Who wouldn't, right? It was at this point that the aforementioned "friend" made quite a snappy comment towards me. He said that I was probably going to use that card to cut myself, since he suspects that I am depressed, when I already mentioned I would never go that far, wallowing in sadness.

Due to very bad timing, my aunt, my cousin's mom, peeked from outside her window to see how we were doing. She quite clearly heard my "friend's" little joke, due to our building being a low-rise. (I mean, who the hell could afford to live in one of those skyscrapers?) For some reason, she thought my "friend" was telling the truth, so she must have pulled up her Facebook and told everyone my family knows.

It certainly didn't help what happened on Easter. During November, I was talking on the chat about how I had thrown up at our Thanksgiving party, as my uncle's custom-made turkey fryer had made a really burnt turkey, with WAY too much pepper. Naturally, all this pepper caused me to spit up on the rug.

I was embarrassed to show my face come Easter, where we would be having ANOTHER party, and you may or may not know that Italians LOVE to gossip at the dinner table. So, when I was inevitably forced to come out of my room and eat, I didn't feel very happy about it. I was quiet throughout the whole meal, until my uncle, the husband of the same aunt from before AND the maker of that hideous turkey, made a friendly joke about me being a stereotypical teenager, foul-mouthed and perverted, of which I am neither. I unwillingly shot him a look, probably hurting his feelings a little. I now regret that very much.

He must have had a talk with his wife about what I had done, and it didn't take them long to connect the dots to a false truth that I was, in fact, depressed and cutting myself, which now, my whole family believes.

It ALSO doesn't help one more certain thing that my mom recently discovered. For personal reasons I don't want to talk about here AT ALL, I am uncomfortable with any hair on my body that is not part of the hair on top of my head, or my eyebrows and eyelashes, since those are necessary. I know, I know, look at me and shake your head and think of stereotypes. My mom seems to think I cut myself with the razors I use to shave, which I don't, I simply shave the hair I don't want off. But I am NOT gay. Remember my opinion on whether the glass is half-empty or half-full? Despite me being an Atheist, I think of Buddhism whenever I think of stereotypes. Find the middle ground. It seems overly gay people think straight people are rough farmers who vote Republican and kill animals, and overly straight people think gays are pussies who like bright colors and beauty products.

NOT TRUE NOT TRUE NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!

I personally believe the best way to avoid stereotypes is to find the middle ground. Personally, I believe that love is not between a man and a woman, but between two people who love each other. I am proud to say that I am bisexual.

I'm not saying that to be normal, you have to be bisexual, I'm saying that you must not judge people, be polite and avoid jumping to conclusions with stereotypes. Unfortunately, many people do judge people. My mom is an example when talking about my shaving, despite trying to prevent me from being made fun of. I see no shame in getting rid of hair I don't want.

But I also judge people, in a different way. The reason I have no friends besides the members of Hyrule Field is that I seem to judge based on little things. I feel like an old person, staying away from teens, but I myself obviously AM a teen, albeit apparently not a "normal" one, thanks to stereotypes. I seem to judge them based on how they look and what they wear, and that got me nowhere.

There aren't many otakus, bronies, or gamers around here. I guess the reason all my friends are here on this website are two simple things. One, we all love the same things, and two, it's just easier to talk to people when your behind a computer screen, a fake name, and a humorous picture.

One last thing. After reading a certain fanfic, I've found some words that taught me one last important lesson.

The pursuit of happiness is a complex and twisted maze with no right or wrong road to take, a constant, endless journey. Happiness doesn't seem to fit with the world very well, making us often feel depressed. As it turns out, there are two types of happiness. They're pretty simple. The happiness we experience being friends with someone, and the happiness we feel following our dreams, getting through life, and making things as best as they possibly can be. Unfortunately, these roads of happiness don't often cross, leading us to abandon one, not experience one at all, or at the worst, reach a dead end.

So, what do we do? We turn around, and we hope. Hope is what gets us through each day, hoping something good might just happen, and hoping that those two roads may cross sometime in the future, so we will be truly happy, if only for a time. So no matter what, we all must not abandon hope.

Sometimes it's tough. But we all have ways of dealing with it. Playing video games, taking a nap, anything to relieve stress.

Personally, I watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

How does that fit in with all that I've said so far? Simple.

The show, as many people know, is very relatable. The animation and characters are adorable, so I can't help but smile when I watch it, forgetting my troubles.

We all have a way of coping with stress, mine just happens to be a happy show, filled with idealism and none of the problems we all know so well. That is the reason most bronies love the show. Anyone who hates all these things I've said can go shove it.

Last edited by SuperDashBros on Wed May 02, 2012 11:39 pm; edited 3 times in total

There is nothing wrong with you liking MLP. It's not like your the first person in the world too XD

The Only probley that I can see is, it is wisest to keep them out of RPs Unless you have like a pony or horse rp or something like those, they dont have a place in the ones we have. As for the pony posts, yeah, you could probley take all the pony images down a notch or so just a little, but its ok to keep posting them. Just like Tp posts jojo everywhere and derp and lzf and nova post TF2 and creepypasta everywhere. It's ok too, just doesn't need to be an only thing you do daily sorta thing ya know?

I'm sorry if I offended you last night about you shouldn't have ponies in your rp, but I just know there are people like Nova and Ed that would troll at you for it and turn it into a problem.

Mario, all of my respect, all of it. If anyone even tries to make fun of you for any of that, they'll have my personal boot down their throat, so don't worry. Which I doubt anyone will honestly, this sites full of nice people.

After talking to Mario about why he likes it so much, it's understandable. I mean, I watch anime for the same reason. I'm a ritualistic Kira for the same reason. It's nice to have a little getaway point where you can zone out and watch awesome stuff that you like. Or pass righteous judgement on the wicked. XD

So I just came back from a really awesome film festival, in which one of my movies was shown. I thought it was pretty good, but unfortunately it didn't win anything. I'm just a freshman though, so it's not a big deal, and frankly I was just fine with hundreds of people laughing at stuff I wrote, so that was an award enough for me. It gave me inspiration to keep making stuff though, and hopefully I can win something next year.

I need to get this off my chest, and I figured the Life Topic would be the best way. But I have a few rules for responses.

1. The subject involves an image which can be easily found by Googling. If any of you put the picture in this topic ANYWHERE, I will END you, you hear me? This serious.

2. Do NOT troll me or hold it over me. I know it isn't to be expected from you guys, but I'm just taking the necessary precautions.

Now on to it.

This specific thing that frightens me is a little strange, and may seem silly to a few of you, but it just get to me for reasons even I don't understand.

Two Words: Rabid Dog.

I take most of you are aware of the existence of Stephen King, AKA the writer of such novels as The Shining, Christine, Carrie, The Children of The Corn, IT, and The Green Mile. I have seen a few of the movies from beginning to end (The Shining, Christine) and actually liked them. But one of his stories is the source of all this.

Cujo is a story about a Saint Bernard who is infected by the rabies virus through an animal bite, and as a result, becomes a vicious mauling machine. The movie was released some time in the early 80's, and it remains as one of his more popular stories.

Now, before you start assuming right away, I am not terrified of the story itself, even though I love Saint Bernards, always have, and would kill to have one of my own, that's not it. I've never read the novel, but I HAVE seen the movie. Meh. It was actually hilarious how bad it was. All they did was cover a dog in ketchup and spread goop all over its mouth to make it look bad. You can even tell CLEARLY where they used different dogs in some scenes if you pay close attention. The story isn't even completely factual: a dog infected with rabies doesn't become a murderous monster with a thirst for flesh; it gets a little feisty, but secludes itself, rejecting attention, and eventually dies from the disease.

As you can tell, I don't have a problem with the story in general. I wouldn't have any problems with it, nor would I even be talking about this if it wasn't for one aspect of it.

The cover of the DVD.

If you wanna see it, just Google Image "cujo". Trust me, you'll know when you see it.

The cover shows a large image of dog's face. The dog has its mouth open wide with large teeth, red gums, and piercing, ferocious eyes. To some it looks cartoony and stupid, to some it looks cool, but all I see is a monster that's been psychologically tormenting me since 5th Grade.

My dad bought a copy of the movie and showed it to me the first chance he got. My first reaction was "HOLY CRAP DAFUQ IS THAT?!". But after a while, it actually started to freak me out. I started to see it everywhere. EVERYWHERE. The silhouette on the wall. Its face in the paint streaks. Light reflections on the stuff in the living room looked like the eyes. It was at Walmart in large quantities. I had kind of a mental breakdown. Meanwhile, my dad was all like "Dude dafuq is your problem it's just a picture", and is STILL that way about it.

Eventually, it started to fade away, no more silhouettes or copies of it at Walmart. Then one day, about a year after the initial incidents, I was perusing through FYE's DVD selection and I saw it for a split second. I took off like a shot. My dad chased after me and yelled at me for making a scene, even though no one in the store even noticed.

We fast forward another 3 and a half years, I'm in FYE AGAIN, and I saw a bunch of DVDs that said "Stephen King's Cujo: 25th Anniversary Edition".

The only okay thing about it this time was the picture on the cover was just a picture of a bloody dog collar. But I mean come on, HOW IS IT NECESSARY FOR SUCH A SHITTY MOVIE TO BE GRACED WITH A SPECIAL EDITION?!?!?! My biggest fear was that they'd start bringing out the old copies again, and I'd have to avoid one of my favorite mall stops. But it never happened, and it all disappeared and I forgot about it again.

We fast forward to yesterday. I was in a antique/whatnot shop with my dad. One of the stands had a HUGE shelf of DVDs. I'm pretty sure you can tell where its going from here, so I'm gonna keep it short. Did I mention that there's a thumbnail of the dog face on the spine of the DVD box? If not, then, yeah.

I hear my dad say, "Oh God, do they- Oh, there it is" as I speed off like the little b*Navi*h I am. We left the store a few minutes later, missing an entire section.

Anyway, I always get the same reaction when I see it; I gasp, my heart races, I start shaking, then I run away. This image has kept me from entering sections of stores I would normally frequent, and sometimes keeps me from entering the store at all. It's the reason I'm afraid to enter my dad's room. And I don't think anyone understands why it scares me so much. They think it's stupid. The only people who get are all the shrinks I've visited about it.

Most people see a DVD cover. I see a monster that's been psychologically tormenting me since 5th Grade.

F*** you, Stephen King. F*** you.

Last edited by Edward Elric on Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:12 pm; edited 1 time in total

Don't worry Ed, I know how you feel. I've had the same problem with DVD covers of Chucky and Saw movies. I remember I'd have nightmares about both of those. I just remember how ridiculous they both are. I mean, there are seven Saw films, and thus the writing gets stupider with each one, and Chucky is even supposed to be funny at times, depending on which one you're watching.

If you ever see a Cujo cover again, just imagine the dog actually appearing in real life. It'll smell like ketchup and die eventually. Ridiculous, right? Humor and horror aren't actually all that different, and too much of one can be canceled out with the other.

Whenever I'm scared, I remember this song. I know you're not a brony, so feel free to call me an idiot. xD

Holy damn, this topic needs some reviving. How hasn't there been a post here since summer of last year? Considering all of the problems we've all been having, I'm surprised. Oh well. Since there's some things I have to get off my chest, I may as well revive this thread, whether I'm just beating a dead horse or not.

Well, let's see here. I'm depressed. Big surprise, eh? I don't think I need to clarify much more than that when describing my mood. It's what being depressed entails that disturbs me. So let's cut to the chase.

Throughout my entire life, I don't think I've ever had a real friend. Sure, there were some acquaintances during my early elementary school years, but they never grew into anything more than that. Most of the other kids would tease me, and as the years went on, it would go from teasing, to bullying, to outright threatening. I could never figure out why I was an outcast. Do I have something they don't? Maybe a lot more maturity, but that's it. Other than that, I'm not better than them. They have friends, caring families, money, and bright futures. And none of the little shitheads deserve it.

It got so bad, that during seventh grade, I completely snapped. I'd rather not mention exactly what I did, but it was bad enough that my mother, possibly the only person who actually looks out for me, pulled me out of school without question, and then enrolled me into a homeschooling program, despite the fact we could never dream of affording it.

And so, here I am. It's been almost two years since I've left public school. In ways, I regret it, and in ways, I think it was the best choice. Like I just said, the homeschooling costs a hell of a lot of money, about $250, which is always to be paid hands down every quarter. In the time I've left public school, I've only managed to complete two quarters. Two. Therefore, I am still in seventh grade, and there's nothing my family can do.

There's only one other thing I really regret. I now have almost no social interaction whatsoever. Sure, I'm glad to be away from those little punks, but I wonder almost every day if staying would have gotten me at least one friend. A close friend, a real friend. I doubt it, though. Not in that school, not in this city. They only care about sex, violence, alcohol, and laughing at others' misfortunes. All things I hate. Yes, including sex. I'll get to that.

My only real social interaction is with my mother, my father when he's not working or drunk, which is hardly ever, and all of you. I cherish the times we spend together, and that's why I've been so afraid of the site dying. I first met Deku quite a few years ago, in a chat called BlazeCastle07. It was one of the promoted chats on Xat, and it looked like a good place to actually meet some friends, and since I didn't have to worry about my shyness over the Internet, I logged in. Since then, the chain of events that led to me joining Hyrule Field Forums were some of the best things that have ever happened to me. Had I not logged into that chat that day, I never would have become a part of this small safe haven.

I do believe it has possibly saved me from losing my sanity, which may possibly be hanging by a thread. Which brings me to another point.

Had I stayed in that school, I probably would have quite literally lost it. There's this one saying I heard on TVTropes: "He who fights monsters, becomes a monster himself." If I spent any more time going through hell in that godforsaken shithole, I probably would have lost my grip on sanity, would have done some regretful things, not limited to ending the lives of some of the worst people there, and would have sealed my fate as a complete monster.

That's the one reason I think leaving that school was the best choice. Remember that shooting this past December where that guy shot a bunch of kids in that elementary school? I read the Wikipedia article on the shooting, and I found that man's past disturbingly similar to mine. Therefore, I possibly could have become such a terrible person if I didn't do the logical thing.

My point is, I think I need some more support. I was browsing around Wikipedia the other day, wondering if my problems could stem from some sort of personality disorder. As it turns out, I think that could be the answer.

I found an article on one disease known as Avoidant Personality Disorder. I read through the whole article, and most of it seems to fit up to my life quite well. Some of these things that stuck out when comparing the disorder to myself are listed here:

-I'm quite sensitive to rejection and criticism.

-I'm socially isolated, mostly because of my own actions.

-I'm really shy or anxious in social situations, even though I desire friendship.

-I'm afraid of physical contact.

-I have severely low self-esteem.

-I often feel like I hate myself.

-I hardly trust people.

-I'm very self-concious.

-I'm self-critical about my problems relating to others.

-I have an ever-present inferiority complex.

-I hate anything related to sex, alcohol, or violence, and I can't see how any of those things can be considered good in some cases.

-I use fantasy, whether it be daydreaming, playing video games, watching anime, or things like that as a form of escapism to interrupt painful thoughts and memories.

Noticing all of that, I do believe I need some help, especially on another lonely Valentine's Day, and only you guys can help. I need to somehow conquer my fears and doubts if I ever hope to accomplish anything. So please, can we just stop fighting all the time, bringing up bad memories, and just try to act as a functioning community again? That's all I ask. Thanks for reading this.

Well, I have alot of the same things u have. But I relized after graduating, I didn't have to worry about what people thought anymore, or how they treated me anymore. Everything just got so much better. I'm sure after graduating, it'll be better. I have about the same intreaction socially u have, I dont have alot of friends to talk too otuside the chat anymore, and my family is my only real conversaion.

Now, the sex stuff, I've had this problem before too. I never liked it either. Im still not huge on the drugs or alchool thing. However, u can be completely happy withotu worrying about sex or any of that stuff.

As for the fighting and stuff, That is gonna happen, thats gonna happen with anyone in the world. Humans fight, its a sad nature but it's human nature. Trust me, we are alot better then we used to be and can usally keep the fighting down or atleast take it elsewhere.

As for using the internet to dignoise a social disorder. You can't really go by that too well. The only way to know for sure is to be properly diginoised someday.

U know what might help. Someday, get out of that state, or town or something, go somewhere where u can get a fresh start, forget about ur past and just live. You just gotta keep working everyday and no matter how bad things seem to get, remember that the future holds something better, even though it seems to take forever to get here.