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Two days after the 10th anniversary of 9/11, my patient, "Kathy", came to see me. She is an
Episcopal priest and she told me the following story that deeply moved me. With some changes
to
protect confidentiality, she gave me permission to share it with you.
She told me with her beautiful and proud smile that she had made a new friend and she
reminded
me that making friends was a goal she had set for herself for her personal life this year.

She gave
me some background history of the new friendship. She said that about a year ago her church
had
had an evening of festive and "noisy" celebration and, so, the next day Kathy brought gifts,
peace
offerings, to her neighbors. One neighbor, "Robbie", was grateful for the gifts and said she was
just so happy that there was "life" happening in the church and she invited my patient to stay
for
tea. They immediately developed a fondness for each other and they talked easily and openly.
Robbie, dressed in traditional Muslim clothes is married with no children. Her husband is from
Tunisia. On Christmas day, Robbie brought a homemade praline cheesecake to Kathy's church.
They shared a warm friendship and Kathy was pleased that she didn't have to worry about
complications to the friendship because Robbie was an observant Muslim.

This past Sunday, 9/11, Kathy gave a sermon to her congregation that she felt touched the
right
notes of inclusion, compassion and perspective. After the service, she said to her 8 year old
daughter, Kira, "Why don't we go visit Robbie." Kira had come to grow just as fond of Robbie as
her mother and said "Yeah!Let's go!" When they walked over to Robbie's house, Kathy
immediately
saw that Robbie was troubled, preoccupied. Kathy asked what was wrong.
"I'm sorry to speak so plainly in front of you, Kira, but I am sad and afraid. I have to pick up a
prescription at CVS and I'm afraid to go out of the house on this day." Without missing a beat,
Kathy said "Why don't we all go?" "Yeah", said Kira. "You would do this for me?" asked Robbie.
"Of
course", said Kathy and took her by the arm.
After the CVS run, Kathy asked Robbie to go with them to Bed Bath and Beyond to do an errand
and
Robbie gladly agreed. Afterward, Kathy told Robbie that she wanted to go to church for a late
afternoon service. She wanted to hear a colleague give his sermon. "It'll be some music and a
nice
time, nothing heavy". Robbie agreed. Kathy told me that thye sermon led them into "diversity
land", but she added that he was not inclusive and, in fact, ignored anyone in the congregation
who might be Muslim, or love someone who was. At the end of the service "My Country Tis of
Thee" was played and Kathy was aware that Robbie was weeping. Robbie said that for 10 years
she
had not felt that this was her country. "I am an American, but I am afraid, and I am treated
differently since 9/11" Kathy just held Robbie while she sobbed.

Kathy is one of those rare people who can be totally authentic and present in the moment
while,
at the same time, hold a wider perpective. Call it a spiritual or mindful awareness, like
bringing
gifts the next day to neighbors, or like holding an awareness of giving a challenging sermon
while
at the same time thinking of a Muslim neighbor who might need the loving reaching out of a
friend.... I'm so glad that Kathy can give those in her churcfh the "life" Robbie heard that Friday
night a year ago. I'm so glad that the community has a leader who is capable of walking the
walk.