Testing the Waters (Revised)

Summary:
It has been a little over a year since Edward has left and Bella has MOVED on, or so she thinks. She is running from any form of true love, and running to any available guy. This means even pushing away Jacob. But after a shocking turn of events, Bella is forced to come to terms with the fact the Edward is gone and she is not over him. Based on Katy Perry's song "Thinking of You" BXJ BXOC BXE No smut or lemons, but it is insinuated.

Notes:
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself
Cause when I'm with Him
I'm thinking of you
What you would do if
you were the one who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I was looking into your eyes
"Thinking of You" By Katy Perry Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story since Stephenie Meyers made them. I also do not own the lyrics to "Thinking of You". They belong to Katy Perry.

4. I guess second best is all I'll ever know...

I didn't know where I was driving to. I was just driving. Past the hospital. Past the Newton's. Past this world. I needed to breathe. Go somewhere without memories.

“Great.” I thought out loud. “I'd have to go to LA!”m Thought did sound good until I looked at my gas meter. The gas light was on.

“Ughhhhhhh! This is not my day!” I shouted to no one. I needed gas and I was far past any gas station. Then the worst happened. My car stopped.

“No! No! No!” Not now. This was the last thing I needed. I should have stayed. Stayed in the hospital with Charlie. Stayed with the comforting thought of the wolves as my family. Stayed with my Jacob...

I put my flashers on and waited for a plan to form.

Who could I call? There was no way I would call Jake, even though he would come instantly. I needed someone different. Someone who wouldn't try to comfort me.

This was so dumb. I should just swallow my pride and call Jacob. Instead I did the unthinkable.

“Bella! I can't believe you called me! I haven't seen you in what, two years? How are you!”

“I'm okay Mike.” Yes I had sank low enough to call Mike Newton of all people. Where was my life headed? I was definitely losing it.

“Well what's up?! Are you in town? You want to meet up are something?”

“Actually I need a little favor. My car ran out of gas and I'm stuck right outside of town near um hmph -the Cullen's place. Can you come get me?” I pleaded unleashing the full power of my persuasive power.

“Sure!” He said breathlessly. “I'll be right there!”

The whole ride back to Forks, Mike talked endlessly about his trivial life. He was going to community college and had taken over his parent's store as manager. I laughed and smiled at all the appropriate parts. This was ridiculous. Why was I with Newton of all people?

“Bella, Bella? Where am I taking you?” He asked pulling me out of my reverie.

“Oh yeah.” I couldn't think of anywhere I could go but the inevitable.

“Could you take me to the hospital?”

“What? Why?! Are you hurt?” Mike asked suspicously.

“No,but Charlie is there.”

“Oh no Bella! I'm so sorry! I'll go with you.”

The thought of Mike Newton at the hospital was certainly the last idea I would have thought of, but him there would definitely make Jacob leave me alone.

“Okay thanks. That would help a lot.” Sure it would. I'd probably cause Jacob to change right there in the hospital.

“What happened to him?”

“He had a heartattack,” I said flatly.

“Oh I'm so sorry Bella. Is there anything else I can do?”

I turned to him and unleashed my power, “just you being there is enough.”

He blushed and looked away.

By the time we got back to the hospital everyone was engaged in their own activities. Some eating, some playing cards. Jacob , Sue, and Billy were the only ones missing. I knew something was wrong. I panicked and grabbed Mike's hand.

“Bella!” Seth ran up to me the halted when he saw my hand in Mike's. Mike was just as surprised by the sudden change.

“Charlie's awake. He's asking for you.” Seth said quietly.

“Thanks! Let's go, Mike.” I pulled him in the direction of Charlie's room.

“ Are you okay Bella?” Mike said looking way to content but at the same time curious with the gesture.

“I just needed a hand to hold,” I laughed lightly. “Thanks.” I said flashing him a big smile.

“Su-sure” he stammered.

When we got to the room, I suddenly felt the same overwhelming feeling I felt before. I knew I would be faced with the worst two feelings – the pain of seeing Jacob hurt and the agony of seeing Charlie in the hospital again. I gripped Mike's hand tightly. He gave me a reassuring squeeze and we walked in.

Jacob was still gawking at my hand in Mike's. I quickly dropped it and looked away but I could still feel his eyes boring into me.

“Well when do you get out,Dad?”

“ I'm actually heading out in about three days! Well sorry son, I didn't even see you over there. How's it going Mike...” My dad trailed off as he realized how confusing it was that Mike was there.

I answered his silent question. “Mike was helping me out. My car stopped and he gave me a ride.”

I heard Jacob mutter something unintelligible under his breath. I couldn't hold in my anger.

“What was that Jacob?” I demanded as my hands bawled into fists.

“Nothing.” he said looking away.

Mike cleared his throat to ease the tension. “I'm doing great Charlie. Sorry about you being in here and all. I'm just looking after Bella while you recover. You know she can always use some help.”He laughed gently.

“Hmph.” Jacob muttered again.

“I can't believe you are a blonde now Bella! I guess it matches your personality, now doesn't it?” Charlie joked changing the subject.

I rolled my eyes.”So three days? What are you doing after that?”

“Um going home. I'll be out of work a few weeks, but I'll back up on my feet in no time. No need to worry.” Charlie said reassuringly.

“You are not staying alone Dad.”

“I'll have Billy and Sue. Don't worry about it Bells. Go back to school as soon as you can. I don't want you to get behind.”

“Dad, school can wait. I'm staying here until you get better. Nothing more to say.”

“Yeah she should stay Charlie. I can help out to if you need me too.” Mike piped in.

“We don't need your help. We can take care of him just fine without you Newton.” Jake exclaimed with acid dripping into his voice. His hands were quivering and his face was tense.

The room grew very still. All you could hear was Charlie's heart monitor beeping.

“Maybe you two should take this outside,” Sue said warily.

I didn't want to upset Charlie, but I didn't want to face Jacob again.

“Yeah we do need to clear up some things. Bella?”' Jacob said much more smoothly.

He gestured to the hall and walked out the room. I stalked out the room not looking at anyone.

Jacob closed the door behind me.

“Mike Newton. Really? That's the best you could do? I'm surprised you didn't call your bloodsucker.” Jacob said icily. His hands were still shaking. That was a low blow. I felt the ripping in my stomach begin again. Fine two could play that game.

“What's it to you? You told me to leave anyway. So I left and Mike found me. Mike's a good friend to help me out like that.” My arms were folded and I was staring at the wall behind me. I couldn't look at him. Not when he was acting like this.

“Seriously Bells, is this how you are going to play me? Going to run after any available guy while I wait in the wings? That's just cruel and you know that.”

I did know that. But that was the game I played. I played it well too.

“ Who cares what I do! You aren't my boyfriend. You aren't even my friend! You don't have a say anymore.”

“Bella,” Jacob whispered. I could hear his voice cracking. I had to look up now. I was surprised to see his tough bravado gone. He was crying.

What was I doing? How could I do this to the one I really cared about more than anyone in the world? Ugh I can't think like that! Out of my brain! I knew I couldn't refer to Jacob that way anymore. New Bella cared for no one. Not even myself...

“Bella,” he continued whispering now,”I love you. I always have and I always will. No matter what. You know this. You feel the same way about me still. I can tell. And even though you don't even care about yourself anymore. I see right through you. I know you better than anyone. Why are you doing this to me? All I've ever done is love you and you keep throwing it away. Bella, Bella look at me!”

I refused to turn my head so he grabbed my face in between in his hands so I was forced to look at him in the eyes. My lip began to quiver. I couldn't look back at him. So I closed my eyes.

“See! I knew it. It's there Bella. It's still there. Down behind the fake tan and golden hair is my Bella. My Bells. The real caring Bella with a heart of gold. Please don't lose that. Even if I lose you, don't lose your heart.”

I took a deep breath and pulled out the dagger. I had to set this straight before I got hurt anymore.

“My heart died a long time ago Jacob. When it died, everything about me died with it.” I opened my eyes with all the pain I felt in my long gone heart.

“Please Bella. Give me a chance to put the pieces back together. I did it before, let me do it again.” He sid pleading now. I could see the desperation in his eyes. He was leaning in now eyes closed but lips resolved on touching mine.

I had to do it. I couldn't feel anymore.

“Jacob. I. Do. Not. Love. You,” I said punctuating each word. “ Not now. Not ever. I don't believe in love. Now let me go before we both get hurt.”

At once he dropped his hands. He gave me a look I had never seen on anyone before. That look was so familiar though. It was what I looked like when he left.

I turned and walked back in the room knowing he wouldn't follow me. Not now. Maybe not ever again.