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March 11, 2009

A HODGE PODGE OF A WHOLE LOT OF THAT GOOD TIME FEELING OF OH YEAH BABY AND SOME OF THAT WOW

Our kitchen at work is a pretty strange place. It seems that within the kitchen, normal rules that govern humanity are null and void. For example, in the human world plastic cutlery is meant to be used once and then disposed of. This is its purpose and as far as I know, most of humanity understands this. At work, some people have decided that this rule does not apply and they choose to put plastic cutlery in the sink or in the dishwasher with the other dirty dishes. I'm all about plastic cutlery, but I don't like it enough to treat it as well as its metal counterparts. I'm sure if you asked a plastic fork how it would like to be treated it'd say something like "just use me and throw me out. I'm cool with that." It's like a kamikaze pilot or a disposable razor or a cigarette.

Some have also decided that used paper towel should not go into the garbage can like in most cultures, but rather in the sink where the paper towel can get even grosser, absorbing all sorts of strange liquids that rightfully belong there. Who are these people? What is their reasoning? Have they ever used a paper towel or a plastic fork before? I reckon not.

You know what else really boils my stew???

CREDITS

Like in shows and movies.

Why are there credits? Why do I need to know who catered a movie? Every time I complete a task at my job, I don't present the client with a detailed list of who did what. That would be silly. So why is it so acceptable in entertainment? It probably has something to do with unions, tradition and the general feeling within the industry that they're the best guys ever because they know how to put together a dumb show or whatever. Screw that. Credits make movies and shows longer, they're boring, and they're just generally stupid. Remember that South Park Episode about the cloud of smugness coming from George Clooney's Oscar speech? That's some additional reading for you guys on this subject. There's also a good b plot in the episode about people in San Francisco smelling their own farts.

Don't get me wrong, I like knowing who was in the movie and maybe who directed it if I didn't already know, but I don't need to know the names of stunt men and best boys because I simply don't care and the only people who do are other stunt men and other best boys. Most people don't even know what most of the credits mean! "Gaffer", "Best Boy", "2nd Assistant Art Department Producer". Frig all that.

I don't think there's much else to say on that subject. Are you with me?

MOVIE REVIEW - WATCHMEN (2009)

Facts:

I've read the graphic novelThe graphic novel did NOT blow my toes to smithereens, but I did like it

I thought the film was very well done because adapting such a tale is like trying to fish for sharks using a reed and a safety pin, the safety pin being the hook. Your bait it normal though. You still have good bait. Good shark bait. The odds aren't that bad. That being said, I don't think it was a great masterpiece of a movie. It required too much back story and I really think they could have trimmed a few scenes, like the sex scene and this one really lovey dovey phluvy scene at the end. It's strange because I respect Snyder for sticking so closely to the source material, but I think I would've preferred it to be shorter at the expense of some small details.

The acting? Out of the park! The only person I thought was shit was Malin Ackerman who played Silk Spectre II. Considering all the crazy shit that was happening I thought she didn't really show much of a range of a emotion. I'm pretty sure she got the job because of her looks and the fact that she was willing to peel her clothes, revealing butt and breast. BUT the other actors? So damn good. Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach was incredible, as was Billy Crudup and Jeffery Dean Morgan. Honourable mention to Patrick Wilson and Mathew Goode. The cast could have been a bit older, but they all pulled it off big time. I loved the fight scenes and the special effects and I didn't even mind the changed ending at all.

I did have to tinkle about half way into the movie, so maybe that's why I felt it was too long.

Overall I give "Watchmen" a 7.8/10 or so. Go check it out at your local multiplex and don't forget that ice cold Coca Cola or Barq's brand root beer to quench your thirst. It could've done without credits though.

5 comments:

im gonna have to disagree with you on this one. having a bf in the film/tv/commercial industry i can't wait to see his name roll in the credits. :) it will be magical. when its a big time action flick of course starring brad pitt.

They should put the movie goers names in the credits as well...you know, to make everyone feel a part of the movie. I agree with you on Watchmen. I liked it better than the graphic novel. The only disturbing part was Dr. Manhattan's glowing super-wang in every shot.

About a guy

I'm Glenn Macaulay, writer/comedian in Toronto, the jewel of Lake Ontario. If you arrived via Google Image search, welcome, and check out glennmacaulay.com for further self-promotion.
This thing gets updated every time something scary happens to me.