COLUMN: Why I want to date a robot for Valentine's day

COLUMN: Why I want to date a robot for Valentine's day

It may seem a rather cold and clinical question as we head towards Valentine's day next week when we will be swamped by a tsunami of red roses, chocolate boxes and love heart cards.

But that was the question posed to more than 2,000 Brits in a poll about interacting with robots in the future.

Replies revealed a dividing line between the sexes on such a romantic liaison.

Nine per cent of men said they would date a robot, while only three per cent of women would.

I wonder if those figures might be higher if the survey was carried out AFTER Valentine's day.

As "special days" go, Valentine's must be one of the most disappointing.

I remember as a child feeling humiliated every February 14 when the school post bag came round with Valentine's cards for lots of my friends and my twin sister – but none for me.

One year, in desperation, I sent myself a batch of cards, and my "surprise" reaction when the "postie" handed them over was worthy of an Oscar nomination.

There's enormous pressure on people to create the perfect romantic mood each February 14 through sending the right card, buying the ideal gift, and securing a reservation at the latest restaurant – it's no wonder some people would prefer to date a robot.

Sweet nothings can quickly turn sour if expectations are mismatched. If your idea of a romantic get together is a night in with a takeaway and a box set but your partner is expecting to be wined and dined, oh dear – as the old song goes, there could be trouble ahead.

Now imagine life with a robot. There would be no room for such misunderstandings. You could programme your android to meet your every desire and command. Never again would you be presented with some lingerie in the wrong size (or style: red lacy thong anyone?). Receiving bottles of unwearable perfume would be a thing of the past too. As for snuggling up for some "Netflix and chill", your AI lover would have worked out the perfect algorithm to know your movie turn ons – no more wasting half the evening frustratingly searching for a film you would both like to watch.

Your love robot would be super handy around the house too. At the flick of a switch, Roby (yes, you'd have to give the thing a pet name), would clean and tidy the house, manage the laundry, make dinner – and do the washing up.

Your robot would never argue with you, leave discarded clothes around the house, nor chat up your mates. It would never get drunk and make a fool of itself, go in a mood and not speak to you for a week, nor snore like a rocket all night long!

For sure, there would be drawbacks. I don't imagine a robot is very cuddly – all that cold steel and those sharp edges would not make for a pleasant bedfellow. And it might become dull having a life partner who was in essence your slave.

So I guess the lesson here is: be careful what you wish for and cherish what you have this Valentine's day – and the other 364 days of the year.

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