Lindsay Lohan Stole $90K In Limo Rides

“Let’s see: Two cameras, one security guard- Eh, fuck it, I’ll just walk in and take shit.”

This may come as a shock to you, but apparently Lindsay Lohan obtained some form of goods or services without paying for them, so clearly, this is some sort of mistake because she’s so rich and pretty. TMZ reports:

Elite Transportation Limo and Security Services claims Lindsay rode with them from February 2009 to May 2009. Elite claims Lindsay also booked limos for her friends and family. Some of the payments show a $6,000 an hour rate, which also includes security.
As for payments … well, Elite says she pulled a Lindsay. And with penalties and late charges, the $33,978 bill has now swelled to $90,585.79.

To any business owners out there, there’s a simple solution to all this: Always make Lindsay Lohan pay cash. If she walks into your store or calls your company, simply say, “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re a thieving freckle-whore, so we’re going to need to see a stack of bills upfront.” Not only will this save you an inevitable revenue loss, but chances are you won’t even have to pick her up because her mom immediately collects the money after each trick lest she gets the “liver hand.” I heard Lindsay tried to hide a twenty under her pillow once, and Dina smelled it from two blocks away. Granted, Lindsay might’ve spilled some gin on it, you get my point.

Comments

Shocking revelation. Absolutely shocking.
I’m sure this is all just a big misunderstanding. LiLo will certainly be around to put things right in a day or so. Just give her a ballpark estimate of how many drivers she’ll be servicing so she can bring enough condoms.

…. $6,000 an hour??? The only services I’ve ever known that merits $6,000 an hour comes with two high-end hookers, and an ounce of Colombian snorting medicine. If it doesn’t include both the aforementioned—nothing in this world is worth 6K per hour—nothing!!!…..Artofwar

60 grand in late fees? Yeah fuck that. Late fees are the biggest scam ever invented, next to Lost Movie fees. I can still recall the last time I ever rented a movie from a brick and mortar business. I picked up “A Goofy Movie” for my nephew to watch while he was spending the weekend, and through a mishap with a vacuum cleaner, the disk was scratched beyond repair. I went in with the disk and explained what happened, fully prepared to buy them a new copy, when the manager hits me with a $200 movie replacement fee. Furious, I drive a mile up the road to Walmart, and find a new copy in the family section for 5 bucks. Drive back to the movie place, slap the thing down on the counter in front of him, and say “We’re even. Charge my card, and I’ll see you in small claims court.”

Side Note: LiLo received services and didn’t offer recompense? Who gives a shit? The Clintons still owe New York hundreds of thousands of dollars for their daughter’s marriage, but you don’t see anyone bitching about that, do you?

Everyone in Paris smells, and that includes all of their ugly women. Bridget Bardot and Catherine Denuve were the only cute ones that ever came out of France, and that’s only because of some nuclear fallout that turned them into cute mutants.

Fuck these people they deserve nothing.
If you are greedy enough to try to get double supposed actual amount in late fees and penalties, then you deserve to get nothing.
This is usury.

Interesting that you call her a “thieving freckled whore” and then you use her photos to make money….
Did you pay her to use her photos to generate traffic and revenue for yourself?
Did you pay any of the celebrities on here to use their images and likeness for this site?

LILO is low rent. That isn’t anyone’s fault but her own. If we can no longer ridicule the least desirable of our species we will all become freckled kleptomaniacs with uncontrollable desires for blow and red bull. That shit is basically in the bible – I’m talking old testament here before any scholars challenge that interpretation.

So many directions to go on this, but … exactly what does she think she’s accomplishing? She’s already wearing glasses to hide her eyes. And most people don’t even *care* about her eyes. If you intend to ruin photos for paps, hold it over your boobs, Linds.

And if you’re trying to spare me personally, hold it over that travesty you’ve perpetrated on your mouth.