9 Seriously Silly Inventions

Have a laugh at some of the most unusual products on the market

By Olivia Putnal

Now that you can buy a sandwich in a can (a.k.a. the Candwich), have you ever wondered what other off-the-wall products are out there? We searched through the extensive list of possibilities and narrowed it down to the zaniest. From an odor-absorbing Better Marriage Blanket to the Solar-Powered Lighter, check out our list of nine silly inventions that leave us wondering what the inventor was thinking.

Stadium Pal

We all love a good tailgate, but drinking all those beverages means a lot of trips to the bathroom. However, the Stadium Pal guarantees you won’t miss a moment of the game. Only available for men, this “portable urinal” uses an external catheter that attaches like a condom, and a containment bag strapped to your leg. We get the purpose, but who wants to carry up to 34 ounces of urine in his pants? Photo courtesy of StadiumPal.com

SlumberSleeve

Don’t you hate it when you get pins and needles after lying on your arm all night? The SlumberSleeve is a “circulation-enhancing pillow” that aims to prevent that achy feeling by improving circulation in the arm. Whether or not the pillow is comfortable is up for debate, but we know for certain that poor circulation isn’t the reason behind your limbs “falling asleep” (see Why Does My Body Do That?). Photo courtesy of SlumberSleeve.com

Better Marriage Blanket

Apparently when people check “irreconcilable differences” on their divorce papers, what they really mean is “nighttime flatulence,” and the Better Marriage Blanket is here to help. The blanket helps eliminate flatulence odors by absorbing them. Plus, the manufacturer boasts that frequent washing isn’t necessary! (Uh, ew.) But we started wondering…if a fart happens in bed and no one is awake to smell it, does it make a stink? Photo courtesy of BuyBetterMarriageBlanket.com

Personal Urn

The Personal Urn is just what it sounds like—an urn that’s a replica of the deceased person’s head. Maybe it’s just us, but who in the world wants to be constantly stared down by dead relatives? Not to mention it’s just creepy. We’ll stick with the traditional urns that blend in with the decor for now. Photo courtesy of CremationSolutions.com

Phone Fingers

It can definitely be frustrating when you’re getting used to a new touch-screen device, but after a few days, most people manage to adjust. For those who don’t, there’s Phone Fingers, which help make typing on touch screens easier while also preventing smudges. And they’re only $12! But the looks on strangers’ faces as you roll them on just to make a phone call will be priceless. Photo courtesy of PhoneFingers.com

Wee-Goals

Love the World Cup? Bring the pitch to the loo with Wee-Goals, which fits perfectly in the bottom of a urinal. The company’s website has a video that shows all the unique branding opportunities (ESPN used a similar product in 2006 to promote its World Cup coverage), but we’re just glad they didn’t actually show someone making a goal. Photo courtesy of Wee-Goal.com

Magnifying Makeup Glasses

How is a lady without 20/20 vision supposed to see where she’s applying makeup without wearing her glasses? It’s a question that women have asked themselves for decades, and Sylvana Belle Eyes, LLC has the answer. These unique glasses come in five different strengths and extend away from your face so it’s easier to see what you’re doing! Or, you could just use a magnifying mirror… Photo courtesy of MakeupEyeGlasses.com

Solar-Powered Lighter

Being environmentally conscious is a good thing, but we didn’t realize lighters were the source of our landfill problems. Harnessing the sun’s natural power, this lighter provides you with a spark at the press of a button. But what happens when you need a light late at night? Like when you’re camping, or at a Bon Jovi concert and your favorite ballad starts? Photo courtesy of Engadget.com

Loo Read

We understand that for some people, the bathroom at home is like their own personal library. But when did we get so lazy that we can’t hold our reading material while sitting? The Loo Read is meant for narrow bathrooms and essentially acts like a shelf that you can pull out and use to hold your newspaper while you are on the toilet. Photo courtesy of Gizmodo.com.

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