Saturday, June 11, 2011

She came from the KGB

Two living organisms coming together will be one of several things. From mutualism, where both benefits, down to parasitism, and even amensalism, where one is completely obliterated.

Being human, they have the complexity to be all, from a newly married couple to a rich happy widow.

Men see prostitutes because it's mutual. A prostitute with customers is better than one without. One reason married men see prostitutes is because their wives become parasitic - better off without.

The law encourages parasitism. Fair enough, I can't obliterate her. But I can't do anything else about it. But if you fight evolution, you can't win. It will only end up in mutual destruction - extinction. Fair enough too.

Parasites are the least of my worries. The KGB / CIA know that it's best to topple you from within.

Some people are just born into psychological warfare with total immunity themselves. My wife is a gas-lighting specialist. There are classic movies about it but I was new to the term. I was lucky that I wasn't locked inside a mental institution, at least not yet.

As a scholar or the highest calibre ;-) I pretty knows how the brain works. If I fix the garage door I would put the screws where I unscrew them. So it will be all over both sides, both ends of the garage. I know the brain will not work well if you are physically unsound, like hungry or tired. So I seldom finish everything in one day (or weeks!). What's the rush for a non-perfect job for no pay? All hell broke lose when she came in the garage one day unexpected. She will sort all the screws according to size and put them together in bags. All the tools will be line up neatly, so I lost all the information of where I used them and the sizes of the nuts and bolts.

Worse, I can deal with toxic waste, recycling, and left over chemicals in the garage, all using more or less the original containers. She grouped the same containers together.

Worst, I use the same cloth, different ones, for cleaning jobs from wheels to kitchen worktop tiles. I can tell which are the toxic ones, and which ones use only organic cleaners. She hang them together.

She is autistic and wouldn't admit it. She won't do anything about it anyway.

Once I tried to fix the laptop to add to my junk machine collection. She was annoyed that her dining table, which is seldom used, was occupied for too long. She stack everything on a pile and put it under the table. Imagine that for a start there were 20 odd screws the tiniest that I have ever dealt with. So instead of another museum piece to show off I had just a pile of absolutely useless junk.

The best reminder is - a screw on the kitchen worktop. You know you have a job to finish. The best motivation is - a screw on the kitchen worktop. If you can't stand it enough, you will work on it. Did I say I pretty much know how the brain works? The problem is, she will put those things away on first sight. How can I finish anything?

I tried to declare my work space at home off limits. And the air around it no-fly-zone. But she would just run the vacuum cleaner into the socket extension with tens of plugs, and run the vacuum cleaner tool among the plug where most of the dust are. Once she does that, I have to restart the whole system because some plugs will get disconnected and reset something along the way.

The real gas-lighting comes when I tried to find a form or something. It wasn't where I put it, always for everything. Did I actually worked on it? Did I actually have the form or just imagining it?

That is the tip of the iceberg. Have you seen bar tenders slide things across the worktop? She is an expert too. But she does it on hard indestructible kitchen tiles, if only for two inches for no reason. So from the early morning, I would hear random loud bangs if we are both around. She is completely immune to it.

The KGB is better. I will confess and everything will go away. They will leave me in peace in my cell.