News Archive: Max August 2006

It’s probably time for a big update on what the hell is going on
with some of projects I’ve mentioned in the past. On the one hand,
the reason I haven’t posted any news is because I have nothing
to report. But on the other, it’s probably annoying of me
to post some big announcement then go quiet for months about it.
So here’s the latest.

The Syrup Movie

There has been some good stuff happening, but I’m on strict
instructions not to talk about it. Essentially, the producers at
Fortress are trying to match the script I wrote with some
appropriately cool film-makers. At this stage I’m reasonably hopeful
that this is going to happen. Which means there is a non-zero
chance of seeing a good Syrup movie some time this decade.
I know! I’m excited too.

The Jennifer Government Movie

Section 8, the production company owned by George Clooney and Stephen
Soderbergh, recently
broke up,
and I got the film rights back. Clooney and
Grant Heslov have formed a new production company called Smoke House,
and it’s possible the project might re-form there. Or it might
not. If it doesn’t, there are some other good potential homes for
it. So while this film is about as far away from production
as ever, it has lots of potential.

The Company Movie

Nothing to report here yet; it’s very early in development.

My next novel

I’m working on a book. I would love to tell you how it’s going,
but I know if I do it will be the last coherent sentence I ever
write. I’m superstitious like that. But I am making plenty of
progress. I feel like this time I might end up doing much less
re-writing than usual. Of course, I always think that.

This is my top priority by far, and what I’m spending
most of my time on.

The Maximum Words strategy has
proved difficult to stick to. I keep cheating, like deliberately
not checking the word count when I know I’m over. Still, I think it’s
helping.

The sci-fi TV series

I wrote up a proposal, which I’m actually quite fond of. It
probably needs another polish or two and then my agent will see
if anyone but me likes it. This is a very long shot, since
it’s insanely hard to get a TV series up. I am not packing my
bags for LA just yet.

The Australian TV show with Wil Anderson

Hasn’t progress due to the enormous trouble Wil and I have
locating ourselves in the same city simultaneously. We have a good
concept, though, so I hope we can get something on paper this year.

Foreign editions of Company

I wish I had something to tell you. This bugs me like nothing else.

Project S

There’s something else I’m brewing up, but I’m not allowed to
talk about it. It would be one of the coolest things I’ve ever
done, though, so I’m seriously hoping it comes off. Yes, you
heard it here first!

And I think that’s it. Huh. That was kind of underwhelming.
But now you’re up to date! That’s got to be worth something, doesn’t
it?

(Language warning: Today’s blog contains profanity. And how! There’s
tons of it. Not from me; I’m quoting someone else. But if you prefer
your computer screens unsullied, you probably don’t want to scroll
any further down. Or, as another tactic, you could squint a
little and tilt your head to the left. Quotes are italicized, you see;
so you might not be able to quite make out the words. Of course,
you won’t make any sense of the blog, either. And you’ll look kind of
stupid. But it’s up to you. I’m just providing you with sufficient
information to make an informed choice.)

Today I stumbled upon
some
guy’s list of his favorite blogs. All right,
when I say “stumbled upon,” I mean I heard about
Google Blog Search,
and immediately typed in the subject I care about most,
i.e. me. Anyway, my site is on this list—which is not a ringing
endorsement so much as the anthropic principle in action. But here’s
what he said:

Max Barry. Author of several really good books. Seems to be one of the
few authors who really maintains a blog just for the joy of occasional
communication instead of promoting an agenda.

This pleased me very much. I do love that communication, and
while I can’t claim to be agenda-free—not with this many arch-enemies—I’m
very happy that, to one guy at least, that’s not what I’m here for.

A lot of my e-mail is indeed a joy. A lot is spam for Viagra and
hot stock picks, too, but I get more warm, funny, and fawning e-mail
than anyone really has a right to.
As an example, here’s one I
received a couple of weeks ago. I wasn’t going to post it,
because whenever I do that quite a few people e-mail
me in a similar vein, presumably hoping I’ll post theirs, too. And in
this case, that would be scary. But in many ways it represents
everything that’s great fun about what I get to do here.

From Kale:

(FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK… say something witty…. FUUUUCK…. DID I
SPELL THAT WRITE? HE THINK IMSTOPID IF I DONT SPELL WRITE!!!!!!!)

P.S. I want to marry Six…Is there anyway I can OFFICIALLY marry a
fictious character? Because if so…Im marrying that woman.

I don’t usually reply to my email (which is terrible,
I know), but I banged out a quick response
to this one:

Yes, no, and if you try that, I’m calling the cops.

Max.

Then Kale responded:

OMG YOU REPLIIIEDDDD!!! Ahaha…ahahah…

Your books, Mr.Barry, are incredible. I weep everytime I think on
them. When bystanders at the arcade I work at ask me whats wrong,
I just cry harder…FUCKING BEAUTIFUL…BRILLAINT…NO MORE WORDS.
…FUCK, I would love to meet and help ANY of your characters in
WHATEVER way they needed. Do me a favor…and im completely serious…
PLEASE…
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE… name a character
Kale. NAME A CHARACTER KALE. KALE…It’s a rare name! It’s the name
of a vegetable. It’s hawain…it mean’s strong man. WADDAYASAY???
Just…ANY character at all!!!!! I know the use of “!!!” and “…”
can be annoying, but that;s just where im at in this point of my life.
Lots’a passion. Im a 21 year old man. I love your books. I love the
show Home Movies. I get depressed thinking about life. I have so many
questions. I enjoy Jerri Blank and The UCB. I love Lobo. They should
make him read Syrup when they UNCANCELL the series. Front cover. I
like OINK. Ever read that? JTHM was, at one point, the only thing i
ever cared about.

How awesome is that? I read something like that, I feel like a superhero.
Thanks, Kale. And to all of you who write to me or post on this site.
I mean, I don’t want to get too mushy here, but—aw, hell. Come here.
Yeah, that’s it. Thanks, guys.