Thunderclaps over parliament and flash-flooded streets gave an ominous start to a most momentous day. We have had no decision day like it: joining the common market in 1973 was not such an epic leap, not the seismic shock that a leave vote would be now.

Final pleas are done, last slogans boiled down to idiocy. Passions aroused show that most people feel this to be a nation-defining day. The crucial 10% or more undecideds may be agonising precisely because it matters so much.

Everything that can be said has been said by now – plus some things that should be unsayable. Every fact, counterfact, factoid and fallacious fraud has been battered to death by now. On this day a curious, eerie silence falls: waiting, waiting.

One great thing about a referendum is that every vote, everywhere, counts equally. How unlike our ordinary, dysfunctional voting system, where only some 200,000 swing voters in a dwindling number of marginals really matter. Last time some 4 million Ukip voters won just one seat – and look how that kept out of parliament deep underlying political passions. This is the time to press for a proportional system.

What seems astonishing – and mortifying – is that the latest projections suggest only some 67% will bother to vote, just 2% above last year’s general election. Nonvoters have excuses at elections: “They’re all the same”; “They lie”; “They never keep their promises.” But there’s no excuse today.

What people vote will happen. It’s a simple, stark, binary decision. If it’s leave, there will be no backsliding or escape. If it’s remain, there is always the chance to leave some future day, though a reprise of this referendum would make most people shudder: the tragic death of Jo Cox will be the haunting image of a deadly, vicious campaign that split the country down class/education/age/ideological fault lines that can’t just be sticky-taped together again.

That’s for tomorrow. In today’s quiet lacuna, let’s consider the rotten state of our democracy. Some 15% are not even on the register, according to the Electoral Reform Society – and David Cameron is much to blame for that: knowing that Labour loses votes when registering is difficult, his new individual registration made it harder for the young.

Some remedies are easy: let anyone who arrives with proof of identification vote on the day, and vote at any polling station. The Scottish referendum was fired up by giving votes to 16- and 17-year-olds, stirring debate in schools and families. Cameron stopped colleges and universities automatically registering their students. So give the vote to 16-year-olds, and let schools show pupils the way to the polling station, and how to vote. Those who vote once are likely to keep the habit for a lifetime.

I’d go for compulsory voting – a minimal citizen’s duty. If not, then make it compulsory for the first-timers as a quid pro quo for votes at 16. They would be free to protest with spoiled ballot papers.

Michael Gove shredded what was already weak citizenship education. This essential life skill will be taught well only if it’s an obligatory GCSE. On the doorstep, discovering widespread ignorance of how democracy works is often a shock to new canvassers. But this time they often encountered a complete lack of knowledge on what the EU is and does. Unsurprisingly after decades of political and press mendacity, much poison has been poured into that void.

The constitution unit at University College London, along with the Electoral Reform Society and others, is looking for better ways to engage people in politics, with consultations, town hall meetings and citizens’ assemblies for deliberation. But as their referendum expert Dr Alan Renwick says, that would be expensive, and we invest little in democracy. Some countries have official fact scrutineers, who check outrageous claims and embarrass campaigns out of outright falsehoods. Our UK Statistics Authority twice complained about leave’s infamous “£350m a week” to be saved – but without teeth, it was ignored.

It’s no surprise that this has been such a bitter, hate-fuelled campaign, fought mainly as a Tory civil war, Labour’s voice muted. Respect for politics ratcheted down yet another level in this campaign, as the prime minister was treated by public questioners and competitively ferocious interviewers as a liar and a villain. Goodness knows, having written two books attacking his policies, I’m no fan, but respect for the democratic process and for the people does require a measure of respect for democratically elected office-holders.

The tabloid press outdid even its own lowest level in contempt for public intelligence, spreading shameless lies its challenge is: who rules, the media barons or the elected politicians? We shall see today. For better or worse, we shall know who we really are today.