Friendship

Good friends are one of the greatest sources of happiness and freedom

A life without friends is unimaginable. It would be dull and lonely.

Where we each have to take responsibility for our own life – the friendship of others can support, help and nourish us through life.

After family relations, friends are the most important connections we form, it’s no wonder then that Friendship (pleasing friends, wanting more friends, being let down by friends) is a topic that clients often bring up during a life coaching session.

The joy of friendship

Friends are at the heart of our social life and depending on your personality type, some of us like to have many friends to feel energised, others, like me, need fewer friends to feel content and connected – something that doesn’t always sit easy with people as it feels counter to the messages we pick up in the media and society at large.

There are also different types of friends.

Life-long friends such as Barbara and I. We’ve have been friends for as long as I can remember – our mothers were close friends and pregnant with us at the same time (50 years ago!). We’ve always been an integral part of each other’s lives and this is deeply fulfilling and important to me.

Other friendships may have significance in a certain context and time.

In 2005, I carried out some voluntary work in Africa. I made friends through the shared values of the people I was working with. One of the women I met also lived in London, however, once we’d returned, within a relatively short space of time, we lost that connection and we no longer had much to say to each other. Each time we met I felt disappointed. One day I mustered the courage and shared honestly with her how I was feeling and that I didn’t want to continue meeting up. It was a difficult conversation for both of us but she thanked me for my honesty and we parted on good terms.

Sometimes friendships become outdated – we ‘grow’ apart, life takes us in different directions. And just because you have been friends with someone for a long time, doesn’t mean you have to stay in a friendship.

So, what does friendship mean to you? Here are some questions to help you reflect:

What do you most value in a friend? Trustworthiness, honesty, humour, fairness, openness – is there a quality that stands out as being most important to you?

– What kind of person would you be able to turn to if you were in need?
– What do you most enjoy contributing to friendships?
– What qualities would you like others to value in you as their friend?

I would love to hear how reflection goes.

If you’re interested in discovering what makes you and other personality types tick in different life situations, consider a Myers Briggs Type Indicator session (MBTI). MBTI is one of the most popular personality type tools in the world. It reflects what is at the heart of my coaching work; understanding self and others better, making personal development choices, so we can change and live our life from a deeper, fuller place.

NEW: Immersion Days in Green Space

I am delighted to now offer full or half day coaching for anyone who enjoys immersing themselves in self-exploration; who feels they could do with more space and time to review their life, to take stock, to identify what really matters, to go deeper, to discover and explore some ingrained patterns and habits that hold them back from moving forward in their life.