Birth month or that month when my mother shows me that she has really accepted who I am

[PHOTOS TO FOLLOW, I STILL HAVE TO EDIT THEM AND BLUR THEIR FACES. :)]

August is being good to me…so far.

My drive to update this blog is non-existent so far but I feel like it’s my obligation (to myself) to at least tell you what happened during my birthday celebration.

I can say that it was one of the best celebrations I had so far. Just like last year, I had three of my friends and my partner as my guests. We traveled all the way to Cavite to celebrate with my parents and a few of my relatives.

What made this celebration great was the fact that my mama is now more accepting of my partner. It was so clear how she treated my partner quite differently compared to my friends. When we arrived at our home, she casually hugged my friends to welcome them, but before she hugged my partner, she said “Ay ito talaga, yayakapin ko ‘to.”

What she said made me smile. Well, I already know that she is okay with our relationship. But she still continues to surprise me with the way she treats my partner. Any son would be so happy to see that his mother loves and accepts his partner.

I thought that we would only have a little food for handa because I only gave a measly amount of money to my parents but as what my partner said, it was impossible to happen. To cut the story short, what we did during that day was eat, rest for a while, then eat again.

You know that you are in our home when you hear people shouting at each other. It is as if my parents do not know the meaning of “toning down” their voices. Well, they are not mad or anything, they just like to talk loud. Also, taking pictures. My mom’s current addiction is to take photos of ANYTHING. My friends were just laughing because my parents and some of my aunts took turn to take their pictures with me.

Again at that point, mama surprised me. When she, her best friend, and my tita posed for a photo with me but then my partner was sitting beside me so what mama did was she stood behind my partner and hugged him. Again, HUGGED HIM. That almost moved me to tears. I’m not joking. But of course I wouldn’t want to make any scene.

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Fast forward to last Sunday, August 19. It was our monthsary but we both had to go to our homes to visit our families. Well, I first went to the hospital because mama‘s sister had an operation mama wanted us to go home to Cavite together. While aboard a bus, my mom and I talked about so many things because if there is one thing that I’m sure I got from her, it’s our being so talkative.

Anyway, we got to the topic about me and my sexual preference. We recalled how I came out to her and what she did afterwards. She told me for the first time that day, that after I came out to her, she prayed to all the saints she know and asked that I be enlightened. She also went to Baclaran church to pray to Our Lady of Perpetual Help to help me realize that this is just a phase and that I will get through this.

But after some time and when she slowly realized that yes, her son is gay, she just accepted it and prayed for my happiness.

Now, our problem is how to tell my father about it. I told her that I can just tell papa because I am quite ready for whatever his reaction will be but mama wants to be the one to tell him.

Mama has been telling me how she always jokingly tell my father that I am gay but papa also always refuses to believe. But one day, mama again asked him what he will do if ever their son, me, is gay, which is already true.

After I heard the story, I did not know what to make of papa’s statement. Does that mean that he will accept me. Of course, he will get hurt. That’s already a given. But does it mean that I will not experience being thrown out of the house? Or being disinherited (well, there’s really no inheritance to speak of so this is really unlikely to happen).

—

August is being good to me…so far. Everything that has been happening this month makes me realize how lucky I am to have the parents I have now.

Having a gay son is not easy for any parent. That’s why some continue to deny the fact or force their sons to “change.”

But some, like my mother and hopefully my father, just try to accept and understand that there really is nothing wrong with their son.

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Published by Billie

Living and breathing online media.
I work as an Online Media Specialist for a certain institution. I am 99% done with my Master of Marketing Communications program. On the side, I try as much as I can to volunteer for an organization that tackles HIV in the Philippines.
I keep myself busy by reading books, watching TV series, and overthinking everything.
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