"Puff the Magic Dragon"

"What is Most Antagon(izing to Me)"

The Lyrics

Of the three biggest lies ("The check's in the mail," "Yes, I'll respect you in the morning," and "I'm from the government and I'm here to help"), the third one might be the most brazen of all.

People get antagonized frequently.From girls with herpes they have kissed to boy friends who have fleas,People lose their tempers over lots of stuff;And, me, when my pet peeve occurs, I have to yell "Enough!"

What is most antagonizing to meAre well intentioned laws they pass in Washington, D.C.Little stacks of paper ascend to the sky To comply with those laws they pass; will someone tell me why?

"We're really here to help you." Yes, that is what they say.They're about as helpful as a snowstorm in L.A.Noble legislators claim to be so smartThat, lacking their benevolence, our lives would fall apart.

Acronym Hell results from laws that they impel,Like HHS and OSHA, whose staffs are OTL.SNAFU is the MO of the EPA,And, in the War on Drugs, the DEA was DOA.

Yes, my hopes are saggin' for sanityTo infiltrate the hallowed halls of Washington, D.C.Party hacks and staffers don't know how to quitSetting up big agencies that serve no benefit

Agencies live forever, they just cannot be killedEven when their purposes have never been fulfilled.Pompous politicians have a most peculiar quirk:They like to throw tax dollars at programs that don't work.

I dread to see their new War – against Obesity,Since these are the guys who couldn't beat Drugs or Poverty.Will they outlaw Twinkies or require permitsTo start my day with pizza pie instead of Alpha-Bits?

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I'm soooo with ya, Johnkins. Give me a few billion bucks and I will TOTALLY win the war on drugs. By legalizing them. I'd rather have a few more addicts and a few less gangs killing each other to supply them.

Your stuff is consistently top-notch. Add this one to that crowded notch up on the top there. Bonus points for the acronym verse and for your Twinkies and Alpha-Bits product placements.

Thanks for the comments, particularly those relating to acronyms. I was underestimating AmIRight readers when I anticipated someone insinuating that since I don’t like well intentioned laws, I must like laws passed with evil intentions.

I am not a pothead (I have no desire to get my substance-induced highs from anything other than beer or wine). I think that use of other drugs is mostly foolish, but perhaps not as foolish as the War on Drugs, which repeats the mistakes that were made when Prohibition was tried 80 years ago. And, as Spaff implies, makes the situation worse.

(SOTM) Hey, ya know what the lyrics of the OS is about, eh? Just another pointless coincidence, I guess. In your acronym hell, you left out what D.C. means! (Haha, get it? I'm an ignorant Canadian..oh never mind) Anyways Jeff, marvelous job on old childhood classic. Tri-Fives.

(SOTM) yes, laws, and more of em! that's what we all want. Last week in our state here in Australia, they made a rule that taxi drivers aren't allowed to talk religion or politics in their cabs - unless they fill out forms in triplicate for an exemption