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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Can I get mudflaps on this sedan?

I sat in traffic behind a PT Cruiser. On the back of the car were two voluptuous, feminine silhouettes. One had horns and held a pitchfork. The other had a halo overhead. I'd seen these decals on large pickups and semis, but never a PT Cruiser. And while I hate to reinforce gender stereotypes, I think we can all admit the the Cruiser is not the manliest of cars, making the sexy angel and the sexy devil look extremely out of place, and making me wonder how they got there. I've come up with a few different scenarios.

1. A wife really wants a PT Cruiser. Her husband wants something a little more masculine. They argue. The wife wins. The husband, in an effort to make the vehicle one he is not embarrassed to drive, takes it to one of those sweet car painting places that will do eagles and Catholic Saints, and requests Miss. Naughty and Miss Nice. The husband and wife may or may not still be married.
2. A man buys a PT Cruiser, thinking it's a sensible car and will get great gas mileage. The man is mocked and called a Sissy Pants. At a nearby truck stop the man purchases two stickers, one a curvy angel, the other a curvy devil. "That'll show them," he wrongly assumes.
3. A woman hates that her husband, on the back of his Chevy, has a sticker of Calvin peeing on a Ford. To prove a point and demonstrate just how tacky she finds his display, she orders The Daughter of Perdition and The Heavenly Messenger at radicalcarstickers.com, and after waiting a week for her order to arrive, she wonders if this is really the best idea, but goes ahead and places the stickers on the back of her PT Cruiser that she drives her children to and from school in everyday.
4. A woman hates the objectification of women, so she ironically paints the epitome of such objectification on the back of her PT Cruiser. The irony is lost on many.
5. A runner failed to train properly for Ragnar, so by the time they finish, the race organizers are out of Ragnar 2013 stickers. Feeling ashamed and disappointed, the runner picks the first sticker they see at the 7-11 where they've stopped to buy Gatorade. With a Sharpie, they write on the sexy devil's body, Ragnar 2013. It rains that day and the sharpies washes away. They can't remove the sticker because they are out of Goo Gone. They regret ever signing up to run Ragnar.

P.S. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT do a Google image search for sexy devil sexy angel.