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Shaka Zulu

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Does wanting a rich man make you a gold digger?

Every promoter, entrepreneur, potential footballer etc. all screamed yes at the screen but I am here to let you know that this is not the case. Take a seat and lend me your eyes.

Yes, there are gold diggers. There are gold diggers running all over this place in their Giuseppe Zanottis and Beyoncé worthy thousand pound hair extensions. The trick is how to spot them and stay well clear of them…if you want to that is. Yes, you heard me. Too many men (I actually sung the song after I wrote that) complain about gold diggers and say they want nothing to do with them but then go to a club full of basics, buy out the bar and complain when a girl wants a drink. You were flashing the cash, suited and booted, putting your best foot forward and complain that she took notice. What else is she supposed to want if that’s all she’s seen? Either way, I digress. The point of this is for men to understand that not every girl who likes pretty things or wants to have a successful man by her side is a gold digger.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with someone being concerned about his or her potential partners financial stability. If you want to build a life with someone you need to be able to rely on him or her physically, mentally, emotionally and yes, at times, financially. The difference between a gold digger and a good woman is that the gold digger is not staying around if the money disappears. If a woman loves you and wants to be with you and you have money, the money of course is a bonus but if the love is real, it won’t matter if you don’t have it anymore. A good woman appreciates your financial resources; a gold digger only appreciates your financial resources.

The best gold digger examples are of course the old man/young woman scenarios. There may be a few rare cases where the female is actually in love with Old Father Time but I doubt its common. These women have no respect for themselves or their lady garden if they will sleep with someone just for their money. This is just prostitution in a better social setting. Situations like this show that you must consider a woman’s intentions to determine if she is a gold digger. Good intentions and no ulterior motives? Then you’re good to go but unfortunately the best way to test this is by not making your money such an obvious factor in your life. Take her to nice places sure, but take her to regular places too. Show her that life is about fun and spending time together rather than spending money together. If she in turn has a problem with this, you guessed it: gold digger! If a woman always wants to go out, always wants to be seen with you, dressed up to the nines then that is a major red flag. The ones after the money usually look the most glamorous and want to be shown off because they all about image while a woman who is comfortable with herself is usually understated. There is a major difference between a woman who likes to take care of herself and woman who takes care of herself in order to try and catch someone.The gold digger will have the latest Tom Ford’s but no milk in the fridge. The good woman will have Tom Ford’s but not hesitate to invite you round for dinner because she isn’t ashamed of the contents of her fridge.

For arguments sake, let’s say there is a successful and wealthy woman who meets a nice but poorer guy. Do you expect her to go below her financial status and be with someone poorer than herself? Probably not, so if you wouldn’t expect someone to lower their standards then why cant a person better their standards? When was personal growth a bad thing? Where this example differs with men and women is that its more likely a woman can adjust to being poorer for her man then a man can adjust to being poorer for his woman. Men like to be powerful, provide and protect and in these modern times a lot of that power is through wealth and material things. As much as guys complain, they like to be asked for things cause its makes them feel good. I’m not saying a woman should be cheeky and ask for things left right and centre but knowing that you can ask your man for things is a lovely feeling for both her and him. She feels protected and he feels he has played his part.

With all of the above in mind, I have to point out that although it is perfectly fine to want to be with someone successful the woman does have to play her role in being smart and independent in her own right. A woman cant demand things she isn’t willing to go out and get for herself. Wanting to be with a successful man doesn’t make a woman a gold digger. Her motives and character make her gold digger. Ladies need to be the woman that he doesn’t mind spending money on, a woman he can respect and not just use as a trophy piece. Essentially, gold diggers are possession; things you bought on a whim and can just as easily throw away. If a woman has no problem with this, then that says it all really.