I'm putting together a little letter to God, but I'm not going to mail it to him. I'm sure you've got plenty of reasons why.

This letter will generally be read by people who've got a short attention span (and perhaps temper) so I ask that all contributions be very concise. Yeah, there are videos and websites, but most people I know would be way more likely to read a letter. I'd like to keep it about 1 page.

So, what are the biggest topics we should address? If you can post 'em, I'll stick 'em in the letter, and then after a while, go through and edit it down to size. Maybe we'll stick it on a petition site, or a classy video.

Please keep your contributions very logical. I don't want to waste my time putting anything in here that's not sound. You can't prove God exists or that he doesn't exist unless you are actually omniscient - and how would you even prove that?Let's keep it practical. Just because people are stupid doesn't mean they're actually properly representing the stuff they say they believe (so don't just attack stupid people.)

Dear God,

I'd love to believe in you if you actually exist, and worship you if you're actually worthy of it. Here's the problem: things don't seem to add up to you actually being real or worthy of being anything but evil. So, here's exactly what's "wrong with this picture," and what you can do to help me and the millions of people like me to believe in and worship you.

...

In closing, I'd like to let you know that I'm not actually going to send you this letter. Feel free to get back to me anytime.

Thank you for writing! As you probably realize, we get millions of letters just like this one every day, and it's just impossible (even for an omnimpotent deity like Myself) to answer every one personally.

We'd like you to know that we here in the Eternal Kingdom Of HeavenTM appreciate your blind faith and your fanatical adherence to the One True ReligionTM. Willfully ignoring science, claiming moral superiority, and looking down on queers isn't easy, we know, but we know you're up to the task. After all, you know what's in store for you if you don't! *Ahem*

In any case, if you have questions about the evil in the world, religious hypocrisy, moral ambiguity, or any of the other burning questions I've refused to answer for millennia, please bring them up in your nightly prayers. I'll get back to you real soon!

Thank you for writing! As you probably realize, we get millions of letters just like this one every day, and it's just impossible (even for an omnimpotent deity like Myself) to answer every one personally.

We'd like you to know that we here in the Eternal Kingdom Of HeavenTM appreciate your blind faith and your fanatical adherence to the One True ReligionTM. Willfully ignoring science, claiming moral superiority, and looking down on queers isn't easy, we know, but we know you're up to the task. After all, you know what's in store for you if you don't! *Ahem*

In any case, if you have questions about the evil in the world, religious hypocrisy, moral ambiguity, or any of the other burning questions I've refused to answer for millennia, please bring them up in your nightly prayers. I'll get back to you real soon!

So God.... why do we need sooooo many various ways to die? Wouldn't one or two forms of cancer been adequate?

Mosquitoes.... seriously, wtf?

I'm more than willing to believe in you God, I just want some evidence... and no coincidental bullshit either, that doesn't count. Regrow a human appendage or something. (feel free to clean up my language if you use this btw)

So seriously, is the Bible an accurate depiction of what happened in the past, or is it an allegory? How are humans supposed to know the difference? If it is in deed an accurate depiction of the history of Earth and human societies... why make it so that every piece of CONCLUSIVE, VERIFIABLE, AND SCIENTIFICALLY accepted piece of information we get seems contradictory? Seems like if the Bible was true, the history/age of the world would be obvious, and not boil down to - Mountains of scientific data that can be verified across time and cultural differences vs. a book written by semi-literate, bronze age goat herders.

So out of "wearing clothing of mixed cloth", "being born gay", "being an unruly child", "having premarital sex", "bestiality", and "working on the sabbath"... which of these is the MOST sinful? Because honestly your followers here on Earth seem to pick and choose which ones are the sinful activity worth of Gods wrath, and which ones are harmless.

Alright.... So God..... You know everything right? So, you put a tree in a garden that our great x 100s grandparents were not supposed to eat from, yet if you knew everything you would obviously KNOW that they were gonna eat from that tree.... So.... If that activity doomed man for all eternity.... why plant the freaking tree?

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"If we look back into history for the character of the present sects in Christianity, we shall find few that have not in their turns been persecutors, and complainers of persecution."

Your followers seem to promise a lot regarding your power, but seem to have a lot of excuses when those promises are not fulfilled. I am asking you to please provide some documentation of your omnipotence, to separate your claims from your competitors and predecessors, or you application to be the center of my existence will be denied.

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An Omnipowerful God needed to sacrifice himself to himself (but only for a long weekend) in order to avert his own wrath against his own creations who he made in a manner knowing that they weren't going to live up to his standards.

I'd love to believe in you if you actually exist, and worship you if you're actually worthy of it. Here's the problem: things don't seem to add up to you actually being real or worthy of being anything but evil. So, here's exactly what's "wrong with this picture," and what you can do to help me and the millions of people like me to believe in and worship you.

You see, God, a lot of people don't believe in you because you have never visited them personally. When it comes to your existence it's all hearsay. You act like you don't care about us, like we deserve the hardship you have brought upon us. It is too easy for any old power hunger mad person to claim they know you and what you want us to do because you never take the time to clarify your position.

So maybe you could visit every single person on the planet with the exact same message at the exact same time. Whether they are awake or asleep or in a comma or in utero. Come to us in our native language if you choose a verbal message but no matter how you choose to deliver your message to each individual person, you must convey three things.

1. You love us.2. You apologize for all the shit you put us through3. By working together you are going to help us work this mess out.

I am fully aware that not everyone will admit that they received the message...at first. So you might want to repeat the message twice a day at 03:00 GMT and 15:00 GMT everyday for three days for it to sink in and be undeniable.

In closing, I'd like to let you know that I'm not actually going to send you this letter. Feel free to get back to me anytime.

best regards,

Oh and for your entertainment

Edited for clarification and emphasis.

« Last Edit: September 14, 2012, 06:00:10 PM by Mr. Blackwell »

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I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering, "I love you" repeatedly as they struggle to break free.