Wednesday, 3 September 2008

The recent cancellation of the Gulf Poker Classic due to the approach of hurricane Gustav has had effects way beyond the southern states - Melted Felt can exlusively report.

In October the 2nd World Series Of Poker Europe event will be held in London, England. In order to prevent any risk to this prestigeous event from the weather, the organisers found a panel of experts to put together a 3-stage alert system which will determine the correct course of action should mother nature intervene.

Stage One - Bronze Status: This status will be triggered when the outside conditions are considered 'a little parky* for the time of year'. One this level is reached nice cups of tea with a dash of milk and some tasty biscuits will be immediately distributed among all staff and competitors. To prevent further risks if the situation deteriorates the local Womens Institute will immediately begin knitting chunky scarfs.

Stage Two - Silver Status: In the quite probable event that some drizzle or maybe even light rain should fall the Silver plan will be immediately implemented. This involves distribution of green Wellington boots, umberellas and the shipment of 500 Mark's and Spencers real lambswool brown cardigans - to replace any clothing that has inadvertently become a little damp.

Stage 3 - Gold Status: This is reserved for the most serious of British weather conditions, Fog! There are actually sub-levels including, 'somewhat reduced visibility, especially in low-lying areas', 'blimey chaps the clouds are low this morning' and 'its a real bloody pea-souper this time'. The advice from the WSOP organisers is not to panic as the start of the tournament will be delayed by up to 15 minutes so that everyone can arrive in time...