I’ve said it before, but what sticks in the throat most is that each and every single one of them looks absurd next to any tale of courage from the Paralympic Games.

Heck, they look ridiculous next to the Suffolk Southern Area Cribbage Open Repechage.

The good singers haven’t been great and the poor singers, with the exception of Billy Moore’s brutal version of Don’t Stop Believin’, at the Newcastle try-outs, not in the least bit amusing.

They’ve been instantly forgettable to the point that during the auditions highlights reel at the end of Sunday night’s episode, I could name only two contestants – Eddy String (a poor man’s Frankie
Cocozza, which says a lot) and Rylan, the Sky Living channel bozo – and that was only because their annoyance levels burned into my memory.

But it doesn’t need me to write this show’s obit. If you’re looking for someone to read the last rites, Gary Barlow gave this moving assessment last weekend: “It’s really not good enough. In
general, it’s just a bit mediocre.”

● A sheep re-enacting the Tamworth Two’s bid for freedom on BBC2’s first live One Man And His Dog by skedaddling from the flock and vaulting over a gate.

● The One Show surprising Clare Balding with a Skype call from Bert Le Clos.

● Hilary Devey’s “itchy foot”, on Dragons’ Den.

● Strictly Come Dancing’s hugely promising premiere, which feels as fresh ten series in as X Factor does stale.

● And ITV4’s World of Sport: 1980s, which featured the Thomas Hearns v Marvellous Marvin Hagler fight of the century; John Lowe’s first televised nine-dart finish, at the Fulcrum Centre in Slough,
which earned him £100,000; Steve Davis’s first televised 147, which earned him a Lada; and caravan stock-car racing, from Ipswich, twin stock-car racing, from Ipswich, banger jump racing, from
Ipswich, and double-decker bus racing.

Spuduhate awards

● Strictly Come Dancing disappearing again for three weeks the moment it returns.

● Doctor Who borrowing heavily from the plots of Jurassic Park and The Terminator in successive weeks.