The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

In 3588, the space liner Asimov Maru was forced down on a seemingly unknown planet. Her interstellar transmitters were wrecked and her supplies were all ruined.

Her captain sought out Ferdinand Feghoot, who luckily was one of the passengers. “Please help us,” he begged.

For a moment, Feghoot regarded the landscape. Then, “Bring baskets and a bit iron griddle,” he ordered. “Follow me!”

They obeyed. For hours, they trudged over burning sand and dry cactus. Finally, when they were close to despair, he pointed at an advancing wall of brown fog.

“I thought so!” he cried. “This planet is called Even Greater L. A. It is famous for its edible smog, which tastes just like mushrooms. Light a big fire! Heat up the griddle!” Beckoning to the men with the baskets, he drew his machete.

Soon the men were back with succulent chunks of the edible smog, and these he immediately threw on the fire. They jiggled and twitched; shrill cries seemed to come from them.

“Mr. Feghoot!” the captain exclaimed. “That isn’t just smog. Th-the inhabitants seem to be in it!”

Note: Some of these entries can be a bit on the racy side. And some should probably not be read by the more easily offended. All such posts are tagged "Adult Theme", "Politically Incorrect", or "PG-13" as appropriate.