Ch. 2: I Won’t Say I’m in Love

We last left Alice after she completed her first day as legacy founder, yaaaaaaaay!

Of course, she finished her day by getting chased out of the catacombs by a bear, but with a bang, yeah? (and seriously EA, a bear? Zombies would have been much more realistic. And awesome.)

And now we start the search for a husband!

Alice: “*GAGCOUGH* WHAT?!”

What.

Alice: “But I’m only twelve!”

Get your head out of the rabbit hole, Alice! You’re not in Wonderland anymore, and you certainly aren’t Peter Pan. We’re going to search for a husband.

Alice: “I hate my life.”

Better you than me, babe.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH /sigh of frustration

Bills?! On the second day? Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know! (At least, not at the moment.)

Don’t you just love how Alice is in a “Bitch, please.” stance?

Anyways, in other news, the mailman’s name is Wang. How would you like to marry someone with a name like that Alice?

Alice: “If he’s going to put bills in my mailbox on the second fricken day of me living here, then I don’t want to marry him. He can go suck a–“

WELL, what you want means squat, girl. We play by MY rules.

Alice: “Bitch, please.”

The day continued and the search for an ugly husband wasn’t going anywhere. Not because all the sims in Riverview are pretty, but because they all look the f**king same.

And then I saw this guy.

He’s not ugly, just different from the rest of the town. And besides, do you see those CHEEKS? I think they would be a nice asset to the uglifying of Alice’s spawn.

His name is Rainer. I think. Hell, I don’t care. I don’t even remember his last name.

ALICE GET READY TO GET YO’ FLIRT ON.

Alice: “Kill me.”

Oh, come off it, Alice. He really isn’t that bad. You’re lucky that he has a decent body and isn’t horrifyingly obese.

Alice: “You apparently haven’t seen his face.”

Would you rather marry this guy?

Alice: “He’s decent.”

Yeah, he’s also a man-whore. If there are Sims-STD’s out there, he’s bound to have every single one of them. Although I act like I fricken hate your guts, I don’t want you contaminated with filth like that.

Alice: “Should I feel touched?”

DID YOU LET DON LOTHARIO COP A FEEL?

Alice: “I didn’t mean ‘touched’ in that way, dumbass.”

Moving on, after Alice’s first day of work I was able to buy her this cheap piece-of-crap stove.

And Alice managed to successfully burn her first meal.

AND THAT BRINGS AN END TO CHAPTER TWO. :D

Here are some questions to ponder on until next time:

– Will Alice give Rainer a chance to find love?

– Will Don be able to sweet-talk Alice into his pants?

– Will Alice burn down her house with her lack of cooking skills?

– Should I make these longer? Shorter? Keep them the same length? I NEED TO KNOW.