The key to understanding Texans is the same key necessary for understanding non-Texans. Unfortunately, I accidentally dropped that key in the john last week and it's on its way to the Gulf at this very moment. Sorry. You may return to your fightin' and scrappin'.

Oh, sorry... wasn't my James West dandy with the Federales stance and twang obvious enough? Maybe I should go back to my private train, have a brandy and rethink this discussion a bit.

Let's see: I distract Ralph, while Artie sneaks behind enemy lines dressed as a bus boy from Coyote Ugly and infiltrates General Cavendish's headquarters, in order to steal the plans for the Giant Steam Man and prevent its being deployed on the Oklahoma border. Prodding Ralph causes him to threaten to secede, which draws Cavendish out into the open in order to prevent his plans from leaking out prematurely. Then, with the help of that mysterious masked man with his stoopidly-expensive bullets and his faithful Indian companion, we bushwack 'em and bring them to justice.

Mmm... nope... the plan seems to be working!

(Now... gotta find a woman to kiss, then punch her before she knifes me in the back... and then, back to business!)

Oh, look... there's chocolate everywhere...

The masked man is from Texas, and his commission is from the state of Texas. I don't think he'd be shooting his fellow peaceful citizen. I think there's some questions over who's infiltrating who....(I discussed this with Artie, after I took the gag out. He seem to be real talkative when I pointed out that he could perform in the SxSW festival...)

The masked man is from Texas, and his commission is from the state of Texas. I don't think he'd be shooting his fellow peaceful citizen. I think there's some questions over who's infiltrating who....(I discussed this with Artie, after I took the gag out. He seem to be real talkative when I pointed out that he could perform in the SxSW festival...)

Hah! Have you heard him speak? With that East Coast accent? That man might have had a Ranger's commission, but he was a defender of the Union! Why, I saw him save President Grant from Cavendish, after Cavendish kidnapped him and threatened to execute him for crimes against the state!

Besides, who said he was gonna shoot anybody? Have you ever priced a silver bullet? You don't go shootin' them at just anybody!

As a side note, as an European, If I was to choose a US state to move in, it would probably be Texas.
Texas do have a lot of problems, like every states, but on the balance it's offer the most opportunities. And Texans people are actually quite friendly. This is after traveling and living a bit in several states.

Hah! Have you heard him speak? With that East Coast accent? That man might have had a Ranger's commission, but he was a defender of the Union! Why, I saw him save President Grant from Cavendish, after Cavendish kidnapped him and threatened to execute him for crimes against the state!

Besides, who said he was gonna shoot anybody? Have you ever priced a silver bullet? You don't go shootin' them at just anybody!

All part of the infiltration plan.......

As for the silver bullets. He mined them himself. (He sold the gold for supplies.)

(And yes, gold and silver have been found in Texas. But we don't normally tell the Yankees where....)