Friday, December 10, 2010

Petra Ecclestone Gets A $100,000,000 House

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Just in case any of The Children might be feeling a wee bit financially inadequate or like the joys and privileges of nepotism passed them by like a train speeding through the station, Your Mama thought we'd tell a little real estate ditty about a young London heiress/fashion designer named Petra Ecclestone that will curl your real estate hair and fulfill your almost insatiable desire for floor plan porn.

Tall, buxum and bombshell blond Miss Ecclestone was birthed by–let's be honest chickens–the rather absurd looking union of a Croatian model named Slavica who shook her money maker for Armani and the much older British car racing tycoon Bernie Ecclestone who shook his money for Slavica. The someone eccentric Brit–whose billion dollar fortune derives primarily from Formula 1 racing, a "sport" that he all but owns and manages like a personal fiefdom–is a well known dropper of controversial bon mots like in 2005 when he not very kindly likened women to "domestic appliances." The lusty looking model/mommy and the F1 Supremo got a dee-vorce a few years ago and now 80-year old Mister Ecclestone squires around a 31-year old Brazilian ladee–a model and a lawyer, apparently–who Your Mama is quite certain loves Mister Ecclestone for his youthful vim and vigor and not his billion and some bucks.

Anyhoo, diminutive Mister Ecclestone, with his odd Andy Warhol-ish hair-don't, is certainly no stranger to the real estate gossip columns. In 2004 he famously sold a 15-bedroom beast of a mansion he bought but never lived in, located in the über expensive, private and secured Kensington Palace Gardens, to steel tycoon Lakshmi Mittal for a staggering £57,000,000. That's about ninety million American clams at today's rates according to Your Mama's currency conversion contraption but was considerably more back before the global economic bubble burst in 2007 and eight. Mister Mittal snatched up two more mansions in Kensington Palace Gardens–the very street where Princess Diana lived before she died in that tunnel in Paris–both reportedly purchased in 2008, one for £117,000,000 and the other for £70,000,000. It's believed his adult children occupy the ridonkuloulsy opulent residences.

In addition to half a dozen or so embassies and 10 or 12 other official ambassadorial residences, other property owners on the heavily fortified street reportedly include Foxtons real estate conglomerate founder Jonathan Hunt, the Saudi Royal Family (who also own 10 or so mega-mansions on London's The Bishops Avenue), the Sultan of Brunei and multi-billionaire Len Blavatnik who, like Mister Mittal, is said to own three huge houses on the street.

Thanks to a couple of chippies in London, we were recently alerted to this big big big real estate transaction (allegedly) going down on a gigantic Grade-II listed pile in the Chelsea area of West London that more than likely involves the financial hand of Bernie the billionaire. According to recent reports in the London tabs, Mister Ecclestone is thisclose to dumping a vast of money for an elephantine mansion in the Chelsea area of West London listed with a screeching asking price £66,500,000. That's a bone chilling 104,998,000 American dollars at today's rates according to Your Mama's currency conversion contraption. Believe it or not, buttercups, the house is not intended to be the residence for Mister Ecclestone but rather that of young Petra–a mere 22 years old–and her 28-year old biznessman boy-beau James Stunt.

Your Mama can't fathom why a 22-year old girl would want or need a house of this expense and magnitude particularly since the filthy rich young couple already live lavishly in a posh townhouse in London's super swank Eaton Square (Belgravia) area, near the digs of soon to be in line to be the queen Kate Middleton. Young Miss Petra's dressing room at the Eaton Square house, according to a snitch who claims to have been inside, stretches over one entire floor of the 7-story townhouse. Ain't life sweet–or at least luxurious–when you're the pampered daughter of a generous billionaire daddy?

The hundred and some million dollar house in question–currently owned by big-shit biznessman Sir Anthony Bamford–is actually two architecturally divergent but attached structures that sit behind a tall boundary wall and beyond a wide motor court. Sloane House, the larger of the two structures, presents an elegantly sober Georgian style façade and stands 3 floors above ground with 3 more below. The smaller residence, Sloane Lodge, isn't actually listed–only Sloane House is–and has a gleaming, white-washed exterior with 2 above ground floors and two more below.

Sloane House, according to marketing materials, was built sometime around the turn of the 19th century and by mid-19th century the house had come to be an "asylum 'for the reception of ladies suffering from the milder forms of mental disease'!" Given that bit of information Your Mama suggests young Miss Petra hire herself a gaggle of house clearers to get up in there and burn a bunch of sage to vanquish any of the mild mental illness juju that might still be hiding in a few of the cracks and crevices.

Currently the two structures function almost entirely separately and, according to floor plan information, are currently only linked through a single doorway in a the butler's pantry adjacent to the formal dining room in Sloane House that opens into a kitchen area of Sloane Lodge. Approved plans would allow for the combination and expansion of the two structures that, according to marketing materials, would total up to a palatial 24,644 square feet. However, rules and regulations would still only allow for doorways between the buildings on the lower ground floors.The new, improved and combined residence–should young Miss Petra choose to proceed without any additional alterations to the already approved plans (above and below)–would include such residential craziness as 25 or 30 rooms, 16 terlits, two elevators and a new underground swimming pool complex complete with lounging areas, fitness room, sauna, and spa. A small but separate massage room tucked away in a quiet corner provides the perfect spot where Sven the virtually hairless and hunky resident Sveedish masseur can work his finger dancing magic. Also planned for the basement area are a cinema with wet bar, large walk-in humidor and an even larger wine cellar. Approved plans for the next floor up–the lower ground floor–calls for such wildly wealthy people only amenities as flower and ironing rooms and a chauffuer's room with private facilities located in a dark corner behind the underground garage accessed, The Children might find amusing to know, via an industrial lift that would lower automobiles down into the basement garage.The main floor has a ballroom sized entrance hall, a coat room the size of most people's living rooms, drawing and sitting rooms, and a sizable suite of rooms in the Lodge section that has a separate entrance and could easily be pressed into use as a very posh home office. The upper floor plans show a total of 7 bedrooms, each with en suite pooper, including a vast master bedroom with windows looking over both the front courtyard and the large for London backyard, a fireplace, custom fitted dressing hall and super-sized and well equipped bathroom with fireplace, separate shower and free standing bathtub. There's even a bee-day for scrubbing down the private parts after doing one's dirty bizness.

The architecturally unholy union between the two structures as they currently exist reaches its full flower on the rear facade the opens out to a significantly sized and full walled backyard divided in two by a vine draped colonnade. It's a messy looking affair but because Sloane Lodge–the white house–isn't listed as historical, it could possibly have its exterior altered to appear more Georgian like its Siamese sister Sloane House next door.

Your Mama would like the children to keep in mind that the ink has not been laid down on the deeds and instruments for this property yet so it's certainly possible that Mister Ecclestone will back out. Until there's a more definitive report on the records, this is all just rumor and gossip. Except for the (approved) floor plans. Those alone are worth a couple hours with a pitcher of gin & tonics.

Now then, we've got to git on our horse and ride or we're going to be late getting on down to one of our favorite daytime eateries in Los Angeles to break bread with another well known property gossip in town visiting.