It may be a great idea in theory for bosses to have quick, frequent and informal chats with their employees about the workplace and their careers, but what can a worker do if a manger won’t engage them at the water cooler?

The ball’s in the worker’s court, say the authors of “Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go: Career Conversations Employees Want.”

“If you’re upset that your manager hasn’t sat down and talked about your career, it’s your job to raise it with them,” says co-author Beverly Kaye. “It’s your job to say, ‘Can I have 10 minutes? I’ve been thinking I really love this project and I’d love to do more of it. Here’s some ways I’ve thought about how I can do more.’ ” The key, says co-author Julie Winkle Giulioni, is to “funnel your development desires through what’s also going to serve the employer.”

Some bosses are skilled at coming up with what Giulioni calls “immobilizing myths” designed to keep them from having to have these types of talks. They’ll insist they don’t have time, or they believe it’s not worth their time because employees will leave once they’ve gotten what they want or there’s no room for raises or promotions at the firm.

Workers must anticipate and address these “myths.”

“Come at it from the flip side as an employee,” says Giulioni. “If you’re not looking for a promotion, make that obvious to the manager. Make it, ‘Right here, in my role, I think I can grow and contribute more by learning this, by experiencing that,’ so that it’s framed in doable terms from the manager’s perspective.”