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Mrs. TPE has taken the kids to the great state of Minnesota, and while some might think it quite the break for Dr. TPE, I am, to paraphrase Rusty in 'Ocean's 11' regarding the Malloy brothers, having some trouble filling the hours. Ergo, I have decided to assess every starting (at least for the majority of games) QB on the Iron Sheik scale. What is that you ask? Well, it comes down to being one of these:

A. JabroniB. Better Than NothingC. The Real

In turn:

Tom Brady: The RealRyan Tanneyhill On his way to The RealMark Sanchez: JabroniRyan Fitzpatrick: JabroniAndy Dalton: Better Than NothingBen Rothleisberger: The RealJoe Flacco: Better Than Nothing to reasonable fans. The Real to Jeff Cameron.Brandon Wheeden: Better Than NothingMatt Schaub: Better Than Nothing disguised as The RealAndrew Luck: The RealBlaine Gabbert: JabroniJake Locker: Jabroni disgused as Better Than MothingPeyton Manning: The RealPhilip Rivers: The Real that became Better than Nothing because he plays with JabronisCarson Palmer: Better Than NothingMatt Cassell: Ultimate Jabroni

Tony Romo: The Real until playoffs…then JabroniRG3: The RealEli Manning: The RealMichael Vick: Jabroni, who has herpesAaron Rodgers: The RealestJay Cutler: Jeffbroni GeorgeChristian Ponder: Sadly, JabroniMatt Stafford: made The Real by Calvin JohnsonDrew Brees: The RealMatt Ryan: The RealJosh Freeman: Better Than NothingCam Newton: Better Than Nothing but inquiring about a move to JabronivilleSam Bradford: The Real, even I am the only one that thinks soRussell Wilson: The RealAlex Smith: Better Than NothingJohn Skelton: Jabroni

Some other notables:Greg McIlroy: Jabroni. Tim Tebow: not a quarterback, The Real on punt team. Nick Foles: Better Than Nothing. Kevin Kolb: Jabroni.