Shame on us for forsaking compromise

Where has the art of negotiation gone? You know, bid-offer-counter-settle?

Seemingly lost in numerous grand debates surrounding our society – from government budgets to business interests to challenging social debates – is compromise, a skill all but eliminated from the conversational tool kit.

You could blame technology, where every penny can be overanalyzed on a spreadsheet – or where every suggestion is overanalyzed in cyberspace or on 24/7 cable news channels. You can point the finger at modern marketing, where today the loudest voice is frequently heard above the din of the masses.

Or, you can simply say shame on all of us for tolerating this growing rigidity. And it's sickening to think that the wake-up call may have been 20 slain children.

It's is no secret that groups of people can frequently best settle wide differences by finding common ground – as long as a sense of fairness and respect to the compromise is appreciated.

Giving in is not cowardly, nor must it be painted as a loss or seen as dispiriting.

Winning at all cost isn't really a tactic – and it's by no means a virtuous strategy.

If we are to get through these challenging times, I think a healthy dose of Business 101 – negotiating with integrity – is in order.

Take the “fiscal cliff” fiasco, as an example, where political leaders of both parties cannot agree how to unravel their own mess created the last time they tried to make sense of the government's financial imbalances.

The two sides have seemingly struck bargaining lines so stark they defy logic. The habit of pillaring opponents for their beliefs makes it even worse.

Please! Is a slight bump in tax rate for the nation's wealthiest people really going to alter a nation's economic future? Or will some modest reforms to various entitlement programs break some unwritten promise to those who need government aid?

Look, every chief executive or business owner isn't a savage penny-pincher. But I'd ask most business leaders: extra efficiency for what gain? What is a “reasonable” profit – or dare I ask, CEO salary?

Not every worker is a cost center – or, to be fair, a quality employee who's fully deserving of today's salaries and benefits. To the workers, psst, have you heard the news about the economy?

Or take – and it pains me to bring this up after last week's unspeakable massacre – the debate about gun laws and systemic violence. In a sane society, what mere citizen needs a rapid-firing assault weapon? And what's wrong with background checks for all gun owners and buyers? Conversely, most gun owners are responsible folks and deserve to be treated accordingly.

Or take another debate to roll out of the Connecticut school ugliness: the effects of violent entertainment.

We can demand responsible levels of reality in movies and video games – not excessive, gratuitous violence for the sake of sheer indulgence – without impinging upon the First Amendment. On the flip side, not every creative type from the entertainment world is a communist sympathizer with a godless, Satan-loving agenda.

In countless important debates stuck in our conversational dysfunction, we have to be honest that the solution – the compromise – will create winners and losers. Monetary, philosophical and emotional. That's what compromise entails: the greater good.

Digging in to “no surrender” compacts, or using hardball negotiating tactics or “slippery slope” arguments against compromise doesn't eliminate the eventual pain centered within a debate – it often only delays the day of reckoning.

Or deflects it – perhaps into a factory or government program or shopping mall or school near you.

User Agreement

Keep it civil and stay on topic. No profanity, vulgarity, racial
slurs or personal attacks. People who harass others or joke about
tragedies will be blocked. By posting your comment, you agree to
allow Orange County Register Communications, Inc. the right to
republish your name and comment in additional Register publications
without any notification or payment.