Bridget Jones?

Laura Hall became the first person ever to be banned from buying or drinking in England. The Drinking Banning Order (DBO) is the first of it’s kind and for 2 years she can’t go into a bar or pub in England. Do you know how intense they drink in Europe? It’s not a hobby it’s a way of life. How freaking drunk do you have to get to secure a nationwide bar ban? Shit, do you know how hard it is to even get thrown out of a pub? She must literally turn into some kind of alcoholic Tasmanian devil.

It’s one thing to be kicked out of a bar for the night, it’s another to get a 2-year country wide ban. Laura Hall must be a hot-mess when she drinks because she is now in the Hall of Fame of drinking. What a status, she could put that on a business card and be pronounced queen. I seriously doubt she see’s this as a deterrent, more like a challenge or even a badge of honor. She has just lobbed a grenade into Lindsay Lohan’s court and said you can try to keep up with me but it’s of no use, I’m the best bitch.

Lots of people will say the party’s over for this girl but clearly if she is a drinking robot who likes to have a ton of fun I can’t really see this stopping her. She could move to the States, Asia, hell even Pandora it doesn’t matter. Anyone who can get a nationwide ban on drinking isn’t going to stop being a party girl, she’s just going to have to find a new continent to party on.

Under her ban she is not to drink anywhere in public and attend alcohol abuse classes. Attend alcohol abuse classes, are you kidding me? She should be teaching those courses, she doesn’t need her G.E.D. in alcohol abuse, she has a doctorates’ degree in partying down. Who is going to teach her anything, Johnny Walker, Jack Daniels?

According to Police there isn’t one incident that led to this banning but rather several incidents. Police also added that although there have been other drinking banning orders issued this is the first one to go nationwide.

Next in line to get a nationwide bar ban

Top Seed Nick Nolte: I’m not sure what his offense is but the shirt alone would get him banned in 12 countries. Unless of course it’s Hawaiian shirt day.

Rip Torn: The guy’s name is “Ripped,” that pretty much sums it up

Gary Busey: He may not be drunk but he is blowing 100% on the moron breathalyzer

Amy Winehouse: She has the word wine in her name, need we say more? Is this a mugshot or did she smash her face against the copy machine? Lastly, did she jump on a spinning merry go round and apply her eye make up?

A bad picture of Amy Winehouse? That was one of many which defined her in 2008. It looks like she may be back with Blake, so we’ll have more pictures like the one above to look forward to.

Gator, I like your rogue’s gallery of hard drinking celebs. Nick Nolte is particularly impressive. It makes me feel better (and a little less ashamed) about our home grown that you kindly bought to our attention. As a Brit, I would’ve written about it if I could’ve been arsed, but you got there first. On the serious side, I hope she sorts herself out. To be banned from every place in the land is quite some feat. Just one thing: what would stop others from buying drink for her so she could get off her face in the privacy of her own home?