Wikileaks Exposes North Korean Dictator's Son as Gaming Nerd

The cables recently made available on Wikileaks prove that videogames may have a bigger effect on foreign relations than previously believed.

The first connection between the massive Wikileaks cable scandal and the videogame industry has been revealed at last. Foreign relations with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il are always unpredictable, but according to a Wikileaked cable he may the last in his family line to run the country, and videogames could be the reason why.

Part of the September 2008 cable, sent from the U.S. consulate in Shanghai, discusses the possible future of the North Korean regime and who might succeed Jong-il. The consensus at the time was that none of his three sons would be up to the task. One was ruled out for being a "playboy," another was too young, and a third spent too much time killing virtual goblins.

The cable reads: "None of KJI's three sons is likely to be tapped to succeed him. xxxxx considers the two youngest sons, Kim Jong-chol and Kim Jong-un, far too inexperienced and incapable of effective governance. xxxxx, observing that KJI's oldest son, Kim Jong-nam, is 'too much of a playboy,' Kim Jong-chol is 'more interested in videogames' than governing, and Kim Jong-un is simply too young."

This could be the most ignorant cable reveal yet. Doesn't the U.S. government know that videogames are a perfect way to prepare for being a dictator? Hasn't anybody in Shanghai ever played Tropico or Civilization?

The cable goes on to surmise that the military would takeover for Jong-il, though Jong-il himself has promoted Jong-un as North Korea's next dictator. If you ask me, the true successor will actually be the videogame-obsessed Johg-chol, and he's being groomed through the best method possible.