Wednesday, 19 October 2016

"The difficulties of winter and autumn,
the heat of summer,
spring like the spirit of life,
winds, and clouds and the lightening-all these
help to make distinctions clear:
so the dust-colored earth
may bring forth all it holds in its heart,
whether ruby or dull stone."
Written by Jula'lu'ddin Ru'mi'

I may have used this quote by Rumi prior in this blog but the contents of this saying in my perspective is so profound that a repeat performance is apropos. I titled this post: (The Invisibility of Injustice), which in many ways appears to be factual. For example, in recent years, due to the development of the technology of modern DNA testing, a substantial number of men have been released from years of wrongful incarceration having been proven innocent of rape charges as a outcome of DNA testing.

If one were to endeavor to collect the data which would document the number of men proven innocent and then released from prison, Then, too collectively calculate the number of years these men spend away from freedom, the invisibility of injustice could at least begin to take on a statistical formation.

Today, October nineteenth two thousand sixteen, I had an appointment with a doctor for the purpose and hope that he could medically help me regain my memory. In the session, I briefly explained why I was seeking his assistance and what I wanted from the sessions.

This blog has been a method for me to expose what has happened to me and for me to release some of the internal emotions which have for too long been pinned. After this first session, I think that what the intake doctor suggested, that frequent visit with a profession therapist would be of benefit where recovering my memory is concerned.

I was a little unsettled when I first left the doctor's office. I felt disoriented, having to concentrate on my surroundings so that I wouldn't walk into things. My first stop once leaving the office was to Starbucks. I visit this particular Starbucks often, although most of the time I go through the drive-through. Today, I decided that I needed the short walk from my car to the interior of the coffee shop as I needed to become more grounded. Oddly, my first thought when I entered the building is that it somehow looked different. I asked the person who took my order had they done something new to the place. She looked confused since I had seen her only a few days prior. She never really answered me but I know that nothing new had been added to the place nor had anything been taken away. This same frequently visited establishment looked fresher, wider, brighter.

I will of course continue my sessions even though at this moment I feel like someone is using a old model can-opener with its serrated invasion onto the exterior and interior of my being. Mentally, I can see the pointed sharp blade of the opener piercing the thin tin can with the objective of getting to the contents within the can. The razor jagged wedges are dangerous to the touch but essential for releasing the what is within the can.

Injustice itself can not been seen by the naked eye, yet its effects upon society become more visible each day.

As I prepare myself to undertake possibly one of the most difficult ventures of my life, I pray that the ultimate success brings hope and peace to others as well.

About Me

I am a survivor of Mk-Ultra. A United States Government Human Experimentation Program which used unwitting human subjects for a human behavior modification program. In enduring the extreme pain of having my mental state altered from excessive non-medically necessary electroshock treatments and sleep deprivation, and other inhumane form of torture, through the grace of God, I survived. I pray each day that in the wonder of my personal survival, that I will be able to be of service to others.