The twelve year old Ikai Boontai opened the door to his parents' house. A fire was burning in a stone worked fireplace to the right side of the room. His parents were knelt by the fire holding each other staring at the flames. Ikai rolled his eyes caring his school bag hung over his right shoulder. He started to head towards his room when his father called, "Ikai-chan, you are late. We have been worried." His father stood up leaving his mother staring at the fire. Ikai's body became stiff. He hated these talks with his father about responsibility and tradition. His father walked over to Ikai with a razor thin grimace upon his markedly wrinkled face; the white hair on his head pulled back in a knot similar to a samurai.

"Konnichiwa...Otouchan, I was working late at school. If I am to pass the physical examinations I need to work harder." Ikai explained to his father. The grimace on his father's face turned even more downward and he hung he his head low; the contours of his face highlighted by the fire light. "You are a disgrace to his family...Each bottle of sake I drink I drink to forget the shame you bring upon this family. I am a skilled and honored samurai yet you almost fail at each examination even in such a prestigious school as Hidden Leaf High School." Ikai's father turned before taking a nearby sake bottle and smashing it across Ikai's face before also spitting upon Ikai's face. "You no longer can call this home...leave." his father stated flatly while his mother continued to stare at the fire.

Ikai recoiled from the hit holding his forehead where a gash had started to bleed from the sake bottle. The wet sake dripping down his forehead and stinging the wound before also soaking his clothing. Ikai bowed before picking up his bag and running out the door. The spring breeze made Ikai shiver as he continued to run down the streets of Beijio. Ikai tried to check in with all of the inns, and hotels finding no room for him to stay. Eventually Ikai found the local club where he found the manager, he got down on his hands and knees to beg for a job at the club. The manager taking pity on the twelve year old gave his a dish boy job.

A few days in this job Ikai found himself being asked to serve sake to the patrons at the bar since the normal bartender was sick. Ikai's service was smooth and quick due to his training in ninjutsu at the Hidden Leaf High School. The customers appreciated his service enough that the manager gave his a bartender position. While he wasn't working Ikai would cruise around the club and would talk with the teens. It was during these conversations with the local teens that he started to develop "the Ikai method".

Each conversation he had brought him one step closer to developing the formula of compliment, insult, and then take the girl as far as she will go. Ikai's first attempts at complimenting the older girls resulted in multiple beatings from jealous boyfriends, or being tossed into the dumpster in the nearby alley. Ikai eventually turned to insults and found himself being slapped and getting drinks splashed on him. He then tested giving a compliment followed by an insult and found that the compliment gained their attention, and the insult heightened their emotions so all he had to do was play his cards right in order to move to the next step.

The tails of how he developed this method can be found in Ikai's newest book, "Picking up girls: The Ikai Method" now available on the Galiavan Networks Gindle for $0.99

"This is frivolous. Remove the backstory and you've got a best seller." -Sabrina N. Quicksilver of Quicksilver Firearms Company.

(Click to read further):

"After purchasing this item for .99 Glx on my iDroid's 'Gindle App', I spent 45 minutes of my time to look through this self-help for romance HaloBook. I mean, for the price of a single Gilex, this was a steal, but since prices usually dictate how well a book sells, I prepared myself for either a piece the War Deity Stratus would enjoy, or a real stinker. What I receive was more or less both. I mean, I'm by no means an expert in self-help books, but this guide starts like a biography of the writer; I mean, unless the author thought that 'self-help' meant it was for himself, then I guess this could make sense? Anyhow, I will state that it was interesting, and a little sad to look into his past...but the first 30 halo-pages were depicting the author's childhood (and mind you this halo-book is only 50 pages long...). When it came to the final 20 pages, this is where it was listing the do's and don'ts of 'getting lucky with women'; it is here I must also state that as a woman reading this I was actually not at all turned off by the tactics the author employs, however found extensive ways to work around his, as I cite: 'Compliment, Insult, Get-in-my-bed', such as, what if the woman takes the insult as a compliment? Or if she returns the same method of compliment, insult and etc?

Despite these... forthcoming(s), I found that the book was rather informative, but it could have left out the author's childhood for that was both confusing and unnecessary unless he was trying to make this self-help guide as a possible memoir. Either way, it was distracting from the overall goal of reading this Halo-Book. I hear rumors that those who buy this Halo-Book via Gindle, that they will receive pre-recorded text messages daily with also daily encouragement. Well I have purchased and downloaded the Halo-Book about an hour or two ago here in my Suite in the Four Ace Hotel, and I have not received anything of the sort.

I also hear that there are sequels on the way. If these rumors are indeed true, then I plan to read those as well to see if there has been any such change to this 'Ikai Boontai's Method' for picking up women.

Purchase Update: Your limited version of "Picking up girls: The Ikai Method" has expired.

Spoiler:

As the message appears on Quicksilver's idroid she is able to continue reading:

"The full version can be purchased for a full payment of $9.95 cents on your Gindle or idroid "Gindle App". All proceeds go towards the protection of the Empress of Beijio City. Thank you for your purchase and we hope to have your service in the future. - Gindle Enterprises

From the Author:

"Hey there hot shot,

There may be a lot of things free in this world like air, grass, and your sex life but that does not mean i'm going to be giving away all of my secrets in a single installment that is less than twenty pages of material. I have devoted my life as a character in this world to developing my ninjutsu and developing this technique. If you feel that it requires more brain cells than you can manage then you may want to go to the remedial school of: QUIT YOUR WHINING!"

-Ikai Boontai

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Tabs on the bottom of her screen suggest sharing on: Glitter, Galvook, Gumblr, Ginterest, or Gspace

"This all coming from some washed up Ninja the world has forgotten? A ninja who's credability has slipped in the past decade due to his equally slipping and deteriorating mind? At least you still have some bite left in your bark, Old man. I must say though, you're words look cute when you're angry. Keep it coming, all you're doing is just feeding me with your hate. Heh. Maybe you should sign up for the same remedial school of QUIT YOUR WHINING! Because all I did was give you my review of your HaloBook. You should be grateful, I'm THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS. Heh. I'm guessing that the reason the full version isn't out is because the book is still a W.I.P.: A work in progress. So far...there must be zero progress...or little work being put into the progress. If your book can tame a shrew like me, then I will be impressed. Till then, my critique still remains as is. I hope you challenge my challenge, but then again I'm not going to hold my breath. You know what they say, ''you can't teach an old dog new tricks''."

In An Email subscription of the Ikai Method that was automatically signed up for through the Halobook, Gindle, or Idroid terms of service a message appears in Quicksilver's Inbox:

"Hey Folks,

The past few months have been an exhausting work as the final versions of my multiple books have been put to press. What books are they? Well of course they are short works. These short works span an amazing fifty pages in bright full color. As a critique earlier in the year so boldly explained I have been out of the ninjutsu world for a while. However, unlike my critic the rest of my life is just an overflowing chalice of love. Take it in folks...