Pages

Ad Image (Banner 1 and 2)

Banner Javascript (to make ads rotate)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

White Truck Wednesday

My theory, as most do, simply began as an observation, sparked by an annoyance.
Driving Metrpolex freeways - mainly 75 south from Collin County toward Dallas - I began noticing more and more a certain type of vehicle causing me the most anxiety. The white pickup.
Had to be a couple of coincidences, but nothing more. Right?
Wrong. White trucks riding cars' bumpers, the drivers regularly pounding on their steering wheels for traffic to part for their apparently more important path. White trucks dangerously swerving in and out of congestion, often illegally using the shoulder as their personal passing lane. White trucks, manned by a single driver, arrogantly using the HOV lane
I hatched my White Truck Theory after a drive on the George Bush Tollway in 2008.

I am in the left lane, going 77 mph in a 65. Flying up behind me I see a white pickup so, even though I'm going already well over the speed limit, I attempt to change lanes to the right. At the same time, however, the white truck speeds to his right to pass and, therefore, almost rear-ends me. As I swerve back to the left to avoid contact, the white truck driver (with, of course, the trademark cap and facial hair) zips by on the right - stopping to flip me off and throw an empty beer toward my car.
And thus it was born:

The driver of the white pickup is the most aggressive, obnoxious and dangerous on the road, because he drives with a chip on his shoulder from the burden of being behind the wheel of the most basic, generic and soulless vehicle in existence.

This is the point at which you went from obnoxious to an immediate tune-out for me. Don't forget your theory that people who drive white trucks choose them because they're broke and white trucks are cheaper, because the paint costs less. Remember that half-baked brilliance?I'm sure your car is Chameleon teel with a snakeskin pattern or maybe solid chrome. Whatever it is, it's probably way more kickass than those of us who simply like the color white.