Zen 101

Thursday, November 30, 2006

This morning my wrist alarm surprised me. I pushed back the down comforter and was greeted with a chill in the air. We have two alternatives, pull the comforters back up or throw them off and Step out into the cool morning air. Our lives, every moment of our lives, is just like that.

We can pull the covers over us and stay warm and comfortable in what we know or we can cast off what we know and enter life with open eyes.

This choice comes to us a million times a day. It is the choice between being automatic and genuine. The choice between patience and impatient, generous or greedy, wise or shallow. The "right" choice is always both the more challenging and the more rewarding.

Yet we should not make this choice on that basis. Rather, we chose because we are buddhas being buddhas.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A friend writes that I rarely quote sutras in my messages. He also points out that I rarely reply to comments. There is truth is this sorta. If we understand sutras as scripture, he is correct. Scripture is what it is, a finger pointing to something. The danger of scripture study is that we can get to a point where we value the scripture more than what it is pointing to. And what exactly is that? Every scripture is about practice, that is to say, some aspect of living out an awakened life.

Sutra study aids us. It is a corrective lesson. It helps us sit upright, so to speak, but it is not the sitting itself. Sitting we must do. Life must be lived and when lived with open eyes the buddha is realized.

Often my morning messages are replies. Your messages suggest topics. I clarify - or attempt to clarify - with my messages. I write two of these a day. One I post to you on these lists and the other to my blog at Yahoo 360. I try to keep up with the direct correspondence as much as possible, yet life must be lived. Puppies need to be walked, Zen Center needs to be taken care of, and Little Honeys listened to and engaged with. Life is like that.

The lessons of life are our own. They are right there in the lives we live. We only need turn the lamp on them to realize them, as the Buddha himself said in his parinirvana sutra. I will leave you this morning with that: be a light unto yourself.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

There were two of us at Zen Center this morning. Michelle and I sat a solid period of zazen, I made pancakes, we ate, then sipped a morning cup of coffee and talked about the Three Refuges. These are the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.

It might surprise you to know these are not always what you think they are. The Buddha is not the person of the Buddha, nor the statue of the Buddha, nor an idea of the Buddha. The Buddha is just being awake. Seeing without distortion, like a mountain in crisp morning air. So, we take refuge is being awake. The Dharma is the teaching, but not really. The Teaching is not the Dharma. Once uttered it is stale. The Dharma is reality just as it is, unvarnished, sweet or stinky, smacking us upside our head. When we see clearly, with open eyes, no preconception, and experience this, this is Dharma. It is the truth of our lives. Sangha is the world that supports us and our practice.

So, forget stone Buddhas, fancy scriptures, and pretty temples. These are not our home. Our home is in our breath just now. Now. Now. Now.

Buddhas and sutras and priests can be hindrances if we see them as something to emulate. These are just pictures of the thing. Be the thing itself. How?

Monday, November 27, 2006

We are about to leave Memphis for our return home to Las Cruces. I am ready! While I certainly (and deeply) enjoy playing with Grandson Tate and visiting Daughter Sam and Not-Son-in-Law, Pete, five days is enough.

I miss my pups, friends, and Zen Center and look forward to returning to my routine which helps me stay "grounded" as they say. Here in Memphis, I turned off all of my wristwatch alarms: no 5:30 wake-up, 7:30 end of zazen, 1:30 end of zazen, 10:30 end of zazen, just short periods of silence interrupted by long periods of giggles and playtime. This is a wholly different form of sesshin. And like the monks at Antaiji in Japan, I say five days is plenty!

We leave at 3:00 PM Central Time and arrive in El Paso at 6:30 PM Mountain Time. Another hour and a half or so drive and we will be home. I look forward to a day of flying practice.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

When we practice zazen, we are just present with ourselves. Self encounters self. Sometimes we argue with each other, sometimes we run from each other, sometimes we watch movies of one, none of this is zazen. But every time we notice that we are doing these things and bring ourselves back to the present moment, we are practicing zazen. Zazen is in the noticing. It is the being, not the becoming.

When we encounter something and act like a human being we ask questions, sometimes out loud and directly, but more often secretly and to ourselves. What's this? Who is this? Where is this? Why is this? And we put these things into a time-line of 'when is this?' All perfectly natural. But all in the mind. Each of these questions take us far away from the experience of the thing we are encountering.

We answer our questions and believe we know something about the thing when in fact we know something about our thoughts about the thing. And there is a dramatic difference. This is why we can say it is a mistake to say, incense becomes ash.

So, the next time you experience something new. Stop at the point of experience. Keep the experience and let the thoughts about it go. This is zazen.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

This morning was a wonder. Tate woke with a serious hunger! Screeching until he had breakfast. The Zoo was too much for him, I guess, and he went to sleep last night hard and fast. At the Zoo earlier in the day, I had walked enough and sat down near the Pandas to finish reading a book I thoughtfully tucked in my shirt.

It was a wonderful experience to sit and witness the families, the excitement of the children, and the sounds of wildlife. Pema Chodron's book on peace in times of war is a very good effort at teaching us to be present in the face of danger. I closed it and sat on the forward edge of my seat outside under some trees.

A man noticed me sitting there and asked if I were meditating. I smiled and said, "I am." He replied that he was "Chillin'" as well, as he sorted the chairs and otherwise cleaned the area. He was Black and a hard worker; I am White and hardly work at all. He had a heavy gold cross around his neck, I had a string of 108 beads running through my fingers. He was Zen in motion, I was Zen in stillness, we both shared the moment together.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Well, we are in Memphis and have filled ourselves with either Turkey or Tofu Turkey depending...and lots of pumpkin pie with tons of whipped cream and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes: so predictable, yet so delicious.

It is good to be with family, though I wish all of us could be together. In a very real sense, though, we are. With every breath we take we are human beings alive in a world we deeply share with each other. Our thankfulness should not end with yesterday's sundown, but should spread out throughout the universe with our every action.

So, today we take a walk, smell the cool autumn air, and feel each step with very excited baby sounds piercing our ears.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

There it is, the morning sun rising. My goodness how bright! I sat alone in the Zendo this morning. I actually cherish those times when I am alone there. (Please don't take this to mean you shouldn't come!) It is so still, so quiet, save the chirps of sundry birds outside. In such lovely stillness one can reside, yet we each should know that such moments are but brief respites that assist us to navigate clearly through a day.

In the morning we leave for Memphis. I look forward to seeing Dragon Tate, the grandson. I wish we could see Olivia, our little Florida pumpkin,the littlest granddaughter or Sami, our Teenage grand daughter, and our array of children who seem scattered like so many seeds. Maybe in the months to come.

Life is like that. We open our eyes and there it is. We do what is there for us to do, we float along and let the rest drop away. When we get all caught up in the woulda-shoulda mind trap, we sink. No sinking allowed.

In the meantime we love and that's a very good thing. We love our neighbors and our friends. We love our partners. We love the air we breathe and the food we eat and all the good things that make our lives what they are. Its important to be mindful of these things.

It is nearly the end of morning. We have been busy around the homestead. Zen Center was a delight this morning and yesterday we had a full house once again! Our Board meeting went well as we reviewed the bi-laws approached one step closer to 501c3 status.

Our Zen Center clearly has grown and matured since we began some 5 or 6 years ago in a small room in my home. We have our own facility, we are offering a full range of zazen, as well as children friendly services. I am personally delighted about the numbers of regular sitters and the group of this forum and its membership. Yet, we are still small and, I hope, homey. Such a good hing.

Today is a very special day. We honor Matsuoka-roshi today. For those of you who do not know, Rev. Dr. Soyu Matsuoka-roshi is my Dharma grandfather. He established several zen Centers in the US in the sixties, seventies, and eighties. Atlanta, Chicago, Long Beach, and through my Teacher, Las Cruces and Cloudcroft. Little is known about him, as he never published a book (although there is one in process). He was born and died in the same month, November. There is a picture of him on our website at http://www.daihoji.org/ as well as http://www.zencenteroflascruces.org/

Without his effort, courage, and willingness to come to America from Sojiji, we would not be gathered here together in person or online. Nine bows to him.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

"Not the faults of others, nor what others have done or left undone, but one's own deeds, done and left undone, should one consider."the Buddha

The truth is so hard to take sometimes. We live in a world where it seems we are always judging. Well, I should really speak for myself. I live in a world where I seem to always be judging. In this world is pain and suffering and I realize I am its cause.

If I were t place my sole attention on being the person I know I am, no problem. If I were to look at others as myself, no problem...well, maybe big problem, since I can be pretty hard on myself. But you get the point.

It is so important to take care of one's own business, it is a first step to being upright. Yet so much easier to look somewhere else and pay attention to others.

When we sit zazen we are left with only ourselves. Just us with our breath and our mind and our senses. Yikes! Still, if we have the courage to continue to sit there, we begin to see clearly the work that needs to be done. The ball of yarn begins to unravel of its own accord and there we are, free of the tangles of delusion.

So, we get up off the cushion and do what is there for us to do. All the while letting others do the same.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Is there ever a time when we are ready to live as completely as possible? It would seem we are often living with one foot in the grave, "Oh, don't do that, you'll get hurt!" "Oh, that is just too risky, better not go there!" And so on.

I don't know. I wonder about this sometimes.

One of the reasons we don't live to our full potential is fear, but not so much of getting hurt in the ordinary sense. Rather, this is fear of a different sort; getting hurt in the psychic sense. We are afraid of what people will think of us if we are just ourselves. So we put on, we dress the part, and play roles, never allowing our true selves to emerge.

I remember how liberating it was to find out that even if I make a complete fool of myself, if done honestly, it really didn't matter. People can be hurtful, true. But mostly they are very compassionate and caring human beings. Such liberation is compelling. And I believe people respond best to authentic human beings.

I sometimes laugh a lot. I am also sometimes depressed. I enjoy being with people most of the time. Negative energy and people who seem to be dying before their time are a challenge for me. When I am in their presence, I feel the drain. Yet, I think this is a key practice. To learn to be present in each and every moment and to be open to every being regardless of how I might be feeling at that moment. How else can one be of service? We really don't have the luxury of picking sand choosing our moments to be buddhas

Each of us in a universal being. We each share original mind. Each of us is a particular being. Each of us possess unique qualities. It is up to us to discover and value these things. Being a real person is a necessary first step.

Friday, November 17, 2006

This past Wednesday evening we had one of our Zen Center members who lives in El Paso arrive with his daughter. She is a delightful young lady, smart as a whip, and just a joy to practice with. I invited her to be my assistant and ring the small bell at the appropriate times during the evening. We say together and then we studied a story of the Buddha together. She served our tea before the Dharma talk.

Having children at the Zen Center is a real delight. Children bring a very special energy, as well as a wonderful perspective, to our practice. I have found that children are often very interested in being present, perhaps because they live their lives that way. We can reinforce this and learn from it ourselves by being in the presence of These great teachers.

But first we need to get off our adult high horse.

How? Zazen teaches us that all things are our teachers when our self drops away. Being willing to drop away our self importance goes hand in hand. Books such as "The Little Prince" and "The Velveteen Rabbit" are really bodhisattvas who lead us to important realizations.

Be well.

Be well.

Team Zen:

Rev. Harvey So Daiho Hilbert, Ph.D. May All Beings Be Free From Suffering

Thursday, November 16, 2006

My apologies for missing yesterday. I am just a little overwhelmed with Yahoo 360, Zen Center, and buying a new house. Our apartment complex, a beautiful gated community, has been sold and is being converted into condominiums. We have the choice of buying or moving at the end of our lease. So we have been looking about for a house and weighing the pros and cons of purchasing the unit we are in.

Yahoo 360 has been a real ride, as they say. I get a ton of messages, requested to be friends, and the odd assortment of very strange messages like "What kind of crack did you smoke as a kid!" Hmmm. What I am impressed with is the sincere nature of most of the comments and questions. The heartfelt requests for assistance in dealing with life's issues. I have been deeply humbled by these.

So, lately, I am spending much time quietly trying to address the suffering, the questions, and the odd thoughts that this Internet experience seems to be evoking. Our world clearly is getting immediate and intimate. Quick IM conversations with Chinese, Iraqis, Iranians, Thais, Japanese...longer conversations with Westerners seeking some sort of assistance with the challenges of their practice, and the occasional solicitation for romance has kept me quite busy. I am grateful for this opportunity to be of service.

In the end, I am reminded just how similar we all are. Each of us, regardless of country or spiritual path seems to be seeking similar things. We seek happiness. We seek peace. We seek a sense of safety and security. And we seek prosperity. This is common ground. May we each walk upon it softly.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

There are some sounds that are very comforting. The sound I hear right now is Pepper's breath as he sleeps by my feet. The sound yesterday was the laughter of good friends enjoying a serendipitous meal together. Sounds are a true picture of the nature of things, We cannot hold onto them. And memory is pale in comparison. Yet there they are in our experience. Direct, they lift us up, yet leave us just instantly.

All of the senses are like this.

We suffer when we try to keep them close. We suffer when we value one over another.

So, regardless of the sound, hear it; regardless of the sight, see it. Appreciate the moment.

Monday, November 13, 2006

The sounds of early morning are delightfully few and far between. Stillness. After the dogs go out, they curl up to nap. I sip my coffee and read the morning news. It seems the world always appears to be falling apart. I close that screen and open another.

Our world, in spite of everything, is not falling apart. People care deeply for one another. For every act of violence, there are countless people there to care for those injured. For every disaster, human beings come together to pickup the pieces and rebuild. Billions of us live together, most with scarce resources, and yet each day we demonstrate our true nature as compassionate beings. In truth, the news stories, the pictures of death and destruction, these are the oddities. We must keep that in mind.

As we go through our day today, lets keep our hearts open. Embracing the world is a wonderful way to embrace yourself.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Mt alarm clock, in the form of furry friend, Tripper's tongue, woke me at 5:30 this morning. What does a dog know about weekends? So, I got up and made the coffee. Opened the laptop and began to read the morning mail.

A couple of messages from someone who thought I expelled them from my group went off on me. I had no idea what she was talking about. I rote her back asking her to explain herself. Some other messages from friends who were concerned about the issues I brought up in yesterdays note. I am sitting with those. And a lot of support for sharing my feelings. It is apparently very important that people who are perceived to be religious leaders be real and open with their experience. I believe this is true.

As a therapist, I was struck by the work of a psychologist who wrote a book called the Transparent Self. In this work, he talked about the notion that self-disclosure was essential at getting to the truth in an interview with a patient. Now, to some extent, our society has been riding on the self-disclosure wagon and everyone seems to be playing a game of king on the mountain as regards war stories. But this is not genuine self-disclosure.

Being open mean being willing to receive as well as give. To receive, one must be willing to set aside self and really listen to another. This means listening without processing an answer. It means self-disclosing for the sake of intimacy and closeness and thus is done judiciously and with purpose.

In Zen we self-disclose to acknowledge our realization of deep interconnectedness with each other. We learn that we are all one in the same beings, buddhas seeking to crack out of the shell of delusion.The light that shines forth from the disclosures of our struggles can be heart-warming.

The sharing of self in public or private is directly related in my opinion to the nature of the organization. The more rigid the organization and tighter the hierarchy, the less public disclosure and the more private disclosure (in the form of quiet gossip). The less rigid and more open the organization the higher the level of public disclosure and thus the more open the rancor. In very orthodox institutions there are very strict rules for deportment. Thus our need to disclose is forced underground so to speak. Restricted to small circles, gossip spends its time with coffee spoons. In more liberal and open institutions, roles and rules are more relaxed, everyone is seen as having validity and a voice and, well, there you have it: a room full of experts!

We hope in liberal settings that people will behave themselves. Most of the time they do. Frankly, I vote for open societies regardless, but is does mean we must learn how to be human together.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Most of the time we are not buddhas, but rather, buddha wannabees. We buzz around with our nice thoughts and wonderful words strung together ever so easily, likes colored beads on a string. And then we wash the dishes, watch television, and have an live with our spouses and children.

At Zen Center, we can be the buddhas we think we are, but at home, the clothes come off and a whole other person arises. Is this so?

If we are pretending to be something we imagine to be "Buddhist" then we are not buddhas. On the other hand, if we are annoyed or angry or afraid or lonely, this does not mean we are not "Buddhist" either, and if we are genuinely these things, aware that we are these things, then, in fact we are buddhas.

Buddhas are nothing if not authentic in the moment.

Last night I had occasion to feel tremendous hurt, anger, sorrow, humiliation, and compassion, in that order. We attended a service at the synagogue after having supported a local poet at a reading at a local bookstore and having just returned from the mountains. A small group in attendance. None of the people we typically attend with were there. A long time Temple member was leading the service as the rabbi is on sabbatical. This person used the d'var Torah (sermon time) to comment on hospitality. Good. But then she brought up the divisions in the congregation, the rancor at the annual meeting from months ago, and essentially chastised those "new members" who caused such a hurtful stir. My wife and I were two of those members.

So, I sat in the synagogue and heard what she had to say. I decided that rather than react to my hurt, I should open myself as much as I could to her and her point of view. She was hurt by the conflict in the synagogue and hurt creates a kind of personal fundamentalism, as Pema Chogrin beautifully pointed out. When we are hurt, we close ourselves and begin immediately to mount a counter attack to stop the hurt. We blame the person hurting us for our pain.

What this does is close us off even further and we no longer hear the person, nor do we want to. Instead we either want to fight or flee.

Since getting up and leaving in the middle of a person's talk would be rude and very disrespectful, fleeing was not an option.

This offered me an opportunity to practice. And I witnessed my body tense, my reptilian mind emerge, and duck for cover as I swatted it away with my beads which were getting pretty warm in my fingers. I saw and felt her hurt, her anger, and her sense of righteousness. I saw that it was necessary for her to do this. I hope it helped her. I felt great compassion for his often brittle woman who uses her intelligence and vitriol to defend herself.

We came home directly, My Little Honey did not want to stay for the Oneg (a joyous snack party after the service for fear she would "say" something. It was just as well. In the car I drove in silence and processed much of my feelings. At home I entered my zendo, lit a stick of incense and sat on my cushion until it was ash.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Today is the day for us in the United States to decide as a group who will represent us. It is very important that you participate in this election. As we have seen, elections are often won or lost on the basis of voters choosing to come or not come to the polls.

While I cannot endorse a candidate or a party, I can ask you to vote in a way that clearly reflects our values as followers of the Buddha Way. So, in the voting booth, vote as the buddha you are.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

There is a wonderful sun in the sky already here in New Mexico. The sky is clear and it is a nice 66 degrees F. I just returned from morning Zazen. We had a nice turnout for morning and I made us all pancakes and eggs with coffee. It was really nice sitting at the table together.

We talked about the precepts this morning and I tried to stress that the precepts are not rules. Rules are external, they are brittle, they are decidedly unBuddhist. The Buddha taught that we are all already completely enlightened beings, meaning that the precepts are actually fluid doorways to a true expression of our buddhanature. When we drop away the clutter and see directly with a clear mind, there is no separation between us and the precepts. We are the precepts.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Yesterday, three of my friends worked the polls. My Little Honey and I did this for a couple of years in Mayhill, near our Refuge. It is a long day, believe me, but so rewarding. I want to take a moment and thank Eve, Allen, and Lou for their volunteerism. You each are a blessing to our community.

As the day passed into night, I watched the election off and on. It is an amazing thing this democratic process. The "fair and balanced" conservative news network could not seem to get a handle on the immensity of the tidal wave for change, and the original 24 hour news network could barely control itself. Clearly the people of the United states have sent a message in no uncertain terms to our President.

Let us hope he has ears to listen.

Appropos to this I read that new text on the Buddha and the Terrorist yesterday. We could learn much from this story. A terrorist and mass murderer from a low caste meets the Buddha, is pacified, becomes enlightened, and is forgiven. The terrorist goes on to become a monk and instrument of compassion. This story is testimony to the power of compassion and skillful means. I highly recommend this book to you.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Today is the day for us in the United States to decide as a group who will represent us. It is very important that you participate in this election. As we have seen, elections are often won or lost on the basis of voters choosing to come or not come to the polls.

While I cannot endorse a candidate or a party, I can ask you to vote in a way that clearly reflects our values as followers of the Buddha Way. So, in the voting booth, vote as the buddha you are.

This morning there wee two of us for zazen, faithful Zento and myself. After we sat, Zento told me his girlfriend would be joining us for breakfast. I made the coffee as he prepared the pancake batter. I then sliced a breakfast cake My Little Honey baked for us. We waited. Girlfriend didn't arrive. Zento called her and she said she would be right here. Zento paced a bit. Finally she arrived, but declined breakfast and said she need gasoline. Zento drove her to get gasoline. i went ahead and made my breakfast. By the time he returned, I was just washing my dish. I bid him good day and left for the grocery. Pepper and Tripper were in dire need of treats.

At the grocery store, I got into a checkout line with only one person ahead of me. The cashier rung up her small purchase, but the amount was wrong according to the customer who had an ad saying what the sale prices were. While they tried to straighten things out, the customer kept saying, "I hate people like me!"

The people behind us went to another register.

After a few minutes, the cashier asked me to go to another register as well. So, I got in line behind the people whom just a few minutes ago I was in front of. And in a few minutes, I was walking to my car with a small bag of dog food and a large box of treats.

It is important to know that not a single person was upset except for the lady who perceived herself to be a hindrance to others. This sort of self talk almost always gets us into emotional trouble.

I am sure that if this were a big city grocery store, the scene might have been different, but then, maybe not. In any event, patience is a wonderful thing.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

It is a wonderful thing to be offered the opportunity to practice zazen. In this practice we are able to clarify the mind, experience directly, and behave with autheniticity. All from the simple practice of stilling oneself on a cushion facing a wall.

Yesterday's zazenkai at Zen Center was just such an experience. We had nerly a full house in the morning and, although some had to leave after oryoki lunch, others arrived. We practiced in silence and had a hour's samu to clean the Zen Center as meditative release from the cushion.

Today I return to Zen Center for our morning service. I return with fresh eyes and a real sense of deep appreciation for Sangha and this practice.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Today is a good day to spend in meditation. Or in mindfulness. As my finger touches each key, I am aware that each finger is touching a key. I am aware of the muscle movement in my forearm as my fingers extend and contract, aware of the thoughts arising and falling, being recorded on the electronic page of this computer soon to be presented to you.

When we are mindful, we are aware of the things themselves, but also aware that these things come and go. On the one hand we say they are ours, like "my thoughts" but on the other, we notice that thoughts simply are thoughts and they arise and they fall away. A notion of ownership, in a sense, becomes meaningless. In another sense they are quite meaningful, as they originate from our brain, and our brain originates from its connections with all of the other subsystems created by our genetics, even these are connected and originate through interactions with other systems. When we are mindful we are aware that when we eat, we eat ourselves. We we touch our partners or a stranger, we touch ourselves. And so we do so with care.

This is a difficult practice and though I try, I often fail at achieving it. The world seems to exist outside of us and can easily crash in bursting this little Buddha Bubble I've just created. Or has it? You know, stress is just another feeling. Loss, love, anger, just feelings. They roll toward us like ocean waves. sometimes we resist them, sometimes we embrace them, sometimes we just let go and go with their flow.

Where is it written that everything should be peaches and cream and that we should be as smooth as the cream flowing over the peaches? Aware of the peaches, I am also aware of the rocks and the nails, and the sting of angry, hurtful words.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Tomorrow we will practice zazen throughout the day. It is Zazenkai day at Zen Center. I look forward to this opportunity to practice with you. If you are not within distance of Zen Center or are otherwise occupied with matters of consequence, please practice mindfulness through your day.

Each day the sun comes up, we are offered the opportunity to become a buddha. Yet these days are numbered. It is up to you not to waste your time.

This means in each act, each breath, of each moment, we are to make ourselves aware of each act, each breath, and each moment. This is attention. It requires practice. When we practice all things change, they come alive. The colors are brighter, the textures are more vibrant, because our senses are keener. We use our attention to open ourselves to the universe.

This is a very good thing.

Team Zen:

Rev. Harvey So Daiho Hilbert, Ph.D. May All Beings Be Free From Suffering

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Through the smallest things in our life do we create ourselves. The way we touch something, the way we treat our friends, strangers, the cashier in the grocery store. Each point of contact with the world around us is a manifestation of our realization. Want to be a buddha, be a Buddha. It is really that simple.

This requires a willingness to be thoughtful and mindful. It also requires a willingness to surrender our ego and to see our Teacher in everything from the highest to the lowest, because in truth, there is no highest, no lowest, and every single thing is buddha.

This is so challenging in a busy world. We feel we must multitask and thus, by definition, live mindlessly on a sort of contemporary auto-pilot. such a life leads to callous disregard for what is before us. Things, people, animals become means to ends. We do not have the time to see them for the Teachers they are.

I invite you each to stop. Create a small amount of time in your busy lives to be still. Practice zazen.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Zazen was good this morning. It is always good to sit still and become yourself. Someone wrote to me and asked what to do in the "sadness phase" of meditation. I am uncertain as to what she meant, but I suspect when she is quiet, sadness emerges from the shadows.

One of the most challenging aspects of zazen is just this. When we sit quietly in stillness, all of our typical distractions are taken away from us. Movement, chewing gum, smoking, drinking, eating, talking, everything is just gone. These things provide cover for the other things that haunt us. So when they are not there, no cover, and bam! There they are, those pesky feelings or thoughts or memories. And we are there to witness them.

OK. So, what's the problem? They are just thoughts, just feelings, just memories. They have no power of their own. They are chimera. It is when we take them and build on them and wish they weren't there or were there more often or whatever that we begin to go crazy.

Zazen is simply about experience. We do not judge the experience. We do not move from it or to it. We just experience. We learn from this experience over time that everything has a life of its own so to speak. Things rise and things fall, just as our breath comes and goes. When we are with the coming and going, no problem; when we resist it, big problem.

As for me, I am just a simple person on a cushion who enjoys being still. Then again, maybe not.

Featured Art by Daiho

Biographical Information

I am a disabled combat vet from the Vietnam War, a retired psychotherapist and a Zen Buddhist Priest. In 2005, I founded the Order of Clear Mind Zen, but retired and am now "emeritus." My wife, Rev. Kathryn Shukke Hilbert-sensei is now abbot. We live in Las Cruces, NM with our two dogs, Suki and Binky.