Last year, boxing promoter Frank Maloney, 61, shocked the world of sport when he declared he was having a sex change to live as a woman, Kellie .

And it’s rumoured that former Olympic athlete and Keeping Up With The Kardashians star Bruce Jenner plans to undergo gender reassignment surgery. These decisions can’t have been easy for their families and friends to accept.

One woman who knows just how they might be feeling is social worker Leslie Hilburn Fabian.

After her husband David spent many years suppressing the desire to dress as a woman, he is now Leslie’s wife, Deborah.

These days, as well as still enjoying the hobbies they shared together, like bike riding, Leslie can be found shopping with Deborah, or swapping advice on hair styles. They’ll also flick through Deborah’s favourite clothes catalogue, searching for another turquoise or purple dress – the colours she adores and feels happy in now she’s a woman.

Leslie first met David, an orthopaedic surgeon, in 1987 through mutual friends. She was attending a discussion at a fellow social worker’s house about different lifestyles, and David was giving a talk about cross dressing – while dressed as a woman himself.

Leslie wasn’t put off by his outfit. She remembers, "I was immediately attracted to him. He was over 6ft tall with amazing aquamarine eyes. And even though he wore woman’s clothes, he didn’t behave in an artificially feminine way and he had a deep voice. His openness and honesty about his situation were attractive to me."

The couple married in 1991 and in an attempt to live with David’s cross-dressing, they agreed he would have the odd weekend or night as Deborah.

The couple on their wedding day in 1991

"Every year we went to Fantasia Fair – a kind of retreat for cross-dressers and their partners – where David would spend several days as Deborah," explains Leslie, who lives in Louisiana, USA. "He loved it, but when we came home, he’d feel so down. When he took off his clothes and make-up, he’d weep while I tried to comfort him."

They managed like this for years, keeping David’s cross-dressing secret from most people – even his parents. Only a handful of their close friends and family knew. The pair enjoyed an active love life, but they also relied on regular counselling for help when times were tough.

However, as David got older, he became unhappy and depressed. And by 2008 things had become so difficult the couple began spending time apart.

"Looking back, I think we were in denial that this was more than just cross-dressing, that David was actually transgender," Leslie remembers.

A difficult decision

After wrestling with the idea, she finally came to a decision in 2009.

"David was talking about a new therapist and getting a different drug for his depression when I suggested he should visit an endocrinologist instead, and begin hormone treatment to lead his life fully as Deborah," she says.

David was shocked, but Leslie convinced him it was the right thing to do. Even if it meant their marriage would eventually end, she wanted to help him.

And so, David, 66, started taking female hormones and spent more time as Deborah. But this first stage was tough for the couple.

"Once, when we were in a gay-friendly restaurant, a group of men kept staring because David was dressed as Deborah. Eventually, I lost patience and asked them what they were looking at. They replied by asking if we were the entertainment," Leslie recalls. "Deborah wasn’t as bothered as me, but I felt so frustrated. I wanted it to seem like I didn’t care when people stared and laughed, but it hurt me."

It was a difficult journey – the couple lost friends and family who couldn’t cope with the huge change. Deborah’s own brother couldn’t accept the situation. But thankfully, their six grown-up children from their previous marriages were more understanding.

Leslie also went through a process of adjustment. She says, "One moment I would be a loving, supportive wife, the next I would storm out of our bedroom in tears. I was grieving the loss of my husband as his face softened, his breasts developed and his stubble disappeared. It was hard, because although I was totally supportive of the transition, I was also angry and missed my husband.

"I had a lot of help and counselling, but for more than two years, I couldn’t commit to staying in our marriage and I spent a lot of time away from David. When I was struggling, he was so caring and compassionate, he’d offer to give it all up. But I knew he had to continue."

She continues, "I encouraged his facial feminisation and hair removal, and I helped with Deborah’s hair, make-up and choosing accessories for her outfits."

Still in love

In October 2011, David ‘came out’ fully as Deborah and began going to work and dressing in female clothes full time. He’d gradually informed colleagues a year before the transition, and on Deborah’s first day in the office, she called everyone together and formally told them. She got a standing ovation, hugs and congratulations.

But even then, Leslie still found it difficult. "I wasn’t used to the idea of Deborah being around forever," she admits. "I missed David and was sad he wasn’t coming back. My emotions were all over the place – I’d feel angry, vulnerable, shaky and uncertain."

Deborah feels a lot happier now

Three years on, Leslie’s learned to live with the situation thanks to therapy and the cathartic experience of writing a book. Deborah is much happier now and has no plans to undergo a full sex change operation yet.

The physical part of their relationship has gone, but Leslie’s adamant intimacy is more important to her and she and Deborah still share a bed and cuddle.

Leslie admits, "I couldn’t have done this when I was younger. I was far more of a sexual being then and it wouldn’t have been something I was willing to give up.

"But all the reasons I loved David still exist with Deborah. And while I may always miss David, I have Debby to love, and to love me."

Deborah says: ‘I am happy almost all the time now. Much of the time I don’t even think about what I’m wearing. I am just me. This is surprising to me, because I always used to be very aware of anyone looking at me.

"My life hasn’t changed a lot, except that I now do everything as Deborah, female, as opposed to David, male."

My Husband’s A Woman Now by Leslie Hilburn Fabian is available on Amazon.co.uk .