Moving On with Life after Prostate Cancer

by Gerald Murray

Being diagnosed with prostate cancer after a routine
blood test was one of the biggest shocks of my life.
At 80 years old, I’ve been retired for 10 years and
have been living the good life. I have seven beautiful grandchildren.
My wife and I travel to Florida every year. My
daughter and her husband are building an addition on their
home in Westport, CT, for us to move into. That’s going to
be our “old people’s home."

Prostate cancer was something I had always heard and
read about but never imagined would happen to me. I had
been seeing my urologist for 20 years and never had any
issues. So when I got that diagnosis last winter, I thought,
well there it is – I’m going to leave this beautiful earth!

It took a while for me to learn how to face the challenge
ahead. I realized I needed to get on with life. What else
could I do? I’ve always been a bit of a high-strung person,
but this just brought out the anxiety in droves. I realized I
needed to stay positive. I had to keep busy and let my family
encourage and help me. I learned about my particular
form of cancer and what kind of treatment was available for
me. I learned to brace myself to face the challenge ahead.

"It took a while for me to learn how
to face the challenge ahead."

My family and doctors helped me realize I had options.
I couldn’t have surgery because of my age, but there was some
good radiation therapy available. My daughter Eileen took
charge and researched this. We found out I live not too far
from one of the best centers around
with one of the top radiation oncology
doctors in the region. Armed with
this information, I learned to have
a positive attitude. Plus, my family
would not let me get down on myself,
especially my wife, Bette.

During treatment, I tried to stay
busy to keep my mind from going
negative. My family helped with that.
Suddenly, the grandchildren needed
babysitting and things needed fixing
around the house. Sometimes I think my wife and daughter
broke things on purpose so I would have to fix them.

Six months later, I’ve gone through 40 days of treatments
and weekly follow-up visits, and I’m feeling great.

I would not wish the experience of having cancer on anyone.
But if it has to happen, I wish people could have as
positive an experience as I did. I’ve learned how important
it is to keep an optimistic attitude and to stay busy. I realized
my family was my backup; they helped me through it.
And I realized I had to get on with life, because what else
could I do?

I sure am glad that I did.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Gerald Murray is a retired insurance inspector.
He lives in Fairfield, CT, with his wife, Bette.

This article was published in Coping® with Cancer magazine,
January/February
2009.