Dumbass Pages

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Want Attention from Your Boyfriend? Poison Him!

Best of Dumbass News

Vicki Jo

Vicki Jo Mills of McConnellsburg was feeling that her boyfriend, Thurman Nesbitt,
was lax in his duties in doting over her. So, instead of new lingerie,
perfume or hairdos, Vicki Jo, hatched a plan that would make Thomas
notice her like she'd never been noticed before.

It
has been my experience in life that men sometimes put other things in
life ahead of their wives/girlfriends that leave the poor woman craving
attention. To be fair, the things that men put first are worthy things
like fishing, golf, likker, etc, but there's absolutely no excuse for neglecting your woman by means other than these. I am sensitive to a woman's needs that way.

Neglected
wimmin often drop subtle little hints that you have not shown them
enough attention lately. They'll put on a new perfume, get a new hairdo,
buy sexy lingerie or try to poison you.

At least that's the way wimmin in Fulton County, Pennsylvania do things.

Neglected

She decided to poison him! Over a period of three years!

This certainly got Thurm's attention. It also got the attention of his doctor.

During three years of fluctuating blood pressure, vomiting and difficulty breathing, Ole Sawbones called in the Law. From abc27.com, "According to investigators with the
Pennsylvania State Police, Vickie Jo Mills used Visine eye drops to
poison her boyfriend, Thurman Nesbitt, at least 10 times since June of
2009.State police got involved in the case in
mid-July after Nesbitt's doctor contacted them. He had been treating
Nesbitt for years for unexplained nausea and vomiting, elevating and
dropping blood pressure, as well as difficulty breathing.A test showed the main ingredient for eye
drops, tetrahydrozoline, in Nebitt's blood. Troopers questioned Mills,
who admitted to putting eye drops in Nesbitt's drinking water." If at First You Don't Succeed...

Vicki Jo has been charged with aggravated assault in the case, still she maintains that "she "never meant to kill" her boyfriend, but "only wanted him to pay more attention to her.". I agree with VJ here. poisoning your significant other at least ten times is a definite scream for attention - attention from law enforcement, the District Attorney and a hangin' judge.

Vicki
Jo will also be a big hit in the PA Department of Corrections for
Dumbass Wimmin's "Ain't She Got a Purty Ass" Division where Spike
McGillacuddy forms a one Lezbean welcoming committee, if you know what I
mean and I think you do.

Calls for Attention

Men,
if you notice any of the more common "pay attention to me or I'll cut
off your gazebos or poison you" signs from your woman, do something
immediately to ensure your own safety and happiness at home.

Tell the bitch to make you a sammich.

And get you a beer. Nothing says "I am paying attention to you" like that does.

And Vicki Jo? One word for you: batteries. Lots of batteries. You now have the attention you so are desperately craving.