great international rows

David Cameron, You Have Been Cavorting Far Too Much With Barack Obama

The Almighty King of England, David Cameron, recently spent a lovely American spring afternoon with Barack Obama inside a sweaty gymnasium watching college athletes play basketball. They then had a lovely American spring evening at a White House state dinner, at which David Cameron saluted the American liberal president. We all know how creepy Cameron is for Obama. He is 1,000 Royal Navy battleships’ worth of creepy for him. But now Mitt Romney wants some of that action, and he will be a sourpuss until he gets it, tut tut.

Mitt Romney recently announced that he had invited himself to the opening night of the London Olympics this summer, just in case it needs some of that last-minute Romney saving that he so specializes in. But he wouldn’t say whether he’d meet with King David Cameron. It seems this John Bull has just been too lovey-dovey with the Kenyan, recently — that their special relationship threatens to disrupt the Special Relationship, as Republican logic would have it:

Referring to Cameron’s highly flattering toast to Obama during a banquet given in the prime minister’s honour when he visited Washington in March, a senior aide said: “You don’t take sides in an election year”.

The aide, who requested anonymity, said Romney and his wife, Ann, would attend the “first day of activities” of the 2012 Games, which open in July. Romney would do “one or two other things” while in London. A meeting with Cameron was not ruled out, but that was “up in the air”, the aide said.

Doubts about a possible Downing Street meeting appear to stem in part from surprise and dismay felt in the Romney camp about what it saw as Cameron’s obsequious behaviour at the banquet on 14 March.

Cameron’s performance smacked of a “lack of experience” and was seen as “not very skilful”, the aide said.

Romney advisers responsible for European policy were said to have been so alarmed that their initial reaction was to complain Cameron had “infringed” the special relationship between the US and Britain.

Time to call in the 7th-grade teacher with recess duty today to resolve this.

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

I know that in my own personal life, the best way to maintain special relationships is to avoid flattering, praising, and otherwise acknowledging the other party in any way. That's why I have so much experience in so very, very many special relationships.

bumfug

Romney's guys are right, the last thing anyone should do during an election year is take sides. Wait, what?

iburl

Because "election year" in the USA is election year all around the world.

Apparently acknowledging their differing political outlook, Cameron went on: "You don't get to choose the leaders that you have to work with. But all I can say is that it is a pleasure to work with someone with moral strength, with clear reason and with fundamental decency in this task of renewing our great national alliance for today and for the generations to follow."

Yeah, how dare Cameron say such a thing! Time to call the Special Relationship off!! We have always been at war with the Brits!!!

JFC…

CthuNHu

"You don't get to choose the leaders that you have to work with. But all I can say is that it is a pleasure to work with someone with moral strength, with clear reason and with fundamental decency — (not like that reeking sack of badger vomit Blair had to act all fluttery-eyed over)."

And just so there is no mistake here, THERE IS NOT A SOUL IN THE BRIT GOVERNMENT THAT THINKS YOU EVER WILL BE.

Got it?

nounverb911

Maybe Mitt should meet with Prince Charles, he'll be the Queen soon.

rickmaci

The WingTard values noise makers would be very upset if they heard that Mittenz was meeting with a Queen.

CthuNHu

And Mittens would be very upset to learn that he can't placate them by firing Prince Charles.

MissTaken

Ugh, you know Romney is going to spend the whole time saying crap like "When I saved Olympics" and "Do you remember during the Salt Lake games, the ones I saved incidentally…?" and "My wife like dressage, maybe she can compete on one of those horseys, too".

SorosBot

What the fuck is dressage, anyway? All I've gathered is that it involves horses, and that it's one of those rich people hobbies that us peons have never heard of.

Fare la Volpe

Do you really want to know what rich people do with their horses when they're alone? Really?

Didn't think so.

SorosBot

So are you implying that Ann Romney has cuckolded Mitt with a stallion? That would be the first interesting thing about her at least.

That motherfucker will absolutely NEVER shut up about the motherfuckin Olympics. Drove us up the wall here in MA.

Biff

Maybe they can train a dressage unicorn for mittens, too?

Doktor StrangeZoom

One does not show respect to a head of state if that head of state is up for election, especially if that head of state is Near, and might be replaced by one of his betters.

You'd think an English Gentleman would understand these things.

SockBunny

All this implying how Cameron should act is going to get Mitt & Ann front row center at the archery play-offs.

rickmaci

Javelin catcher.

elviouslyqueer

I'm sorry, but did I miss the part when it was okay for an unelected candidate who hasn't even made it through his party's nominating convention to school another country's Prime Minister on his behavior toward a sitting President? Wow, talk about unmitigated gall.

Mittens, you think YOU'RE pissed? Rupert Murdoch does NOT like to share; that sweet Cameron ass is his, all his.

chicken_thief

Shorter Mitt: Wah. My pussy hurts!

Boojum

Guys, this is an Onion article. Here's the proof:

"Criticism from Romney's camp is unusual. It prides itself on being extremely disciplined, careful in its dealings with the press, and averse to controversy."

SHAKE THAT ETCH-A-SKETCH!!!!

Steverino247

Mitt Romney thinks he's in the Special Olympics of Relationships. This explains why he's crying about not getting a medal.

ElPinche

Apparently, Romney hasn't met Barry. Everybody who meets Barack gets a little moist, and becomes an Obamabot. So that's the key, DNC: Gucci Moroni has to meet Barry, then the election will be down hill from there.

The only "special relationship" Cameron is worried about is the one he has with the British electorate. As head of the British government, it his his sworn duty to represent his nation's penis envy of the United States.

prommie

I would never have known of this vile breach of the special relationship (Does Israel know we are cheating on it?) if not for Romney's advisors making this row.

OneYieldRegular

I must say, the Romney campaign is doing a spectacular job of starting to develop strong and respectful relations with the strongest allies of the U.S.

fuflans

not to mention china which is really not helpful.

Generation[redacted]

"I wanted to meet David Cameron to tell him how much I loved Titanic." –Romney foreign policy advisor.

I love how Mitt is constantly surprised by the fact that not everyone is waiting in line clamoring for the opportunity to give him head. Golly, Mittzy, aren't world leaders who won't kiss your presumptuous ass just the worst?

widestanceromance

Damn, Willard, even Ron Paul has his own room at 10 Downing Street. Maybe you could offer to take the Queen's low-wind-resistant Corgies for a ride in one of your homes next time she crosses the pond.

Terry

"Cameron’s performance smacked of a “lack of experience” and was seen as “not very skilful”, the aide said."

Certainly, Romney's camp knows lots about both those subjects.

Generation[redacted]

And when President Romney's foreign policy fails in spectacular fashion, he can blame the "lack of experience" of all the other world leaders who are "not very skillful"

fuflans

damn romney is just looking worse and worse.

all the crap he's supposed to do well – all those Important Business Management Skills – seem to completely elude him.

mr. fuflans has been saying for months now that mitt's an untalented and uninspiring scion of political power whose success is vastly over-rated and likely not of his own making. i've been saying he MUST have some business talents – if nothing else.

once again, mr. fuflans is probably right.

fuflans

oh and here's a thing, mr. special relationship:

the current republican party and your stated positions make the BNP look left wing.

PresqueVu

Time to call in the 7th-grade teacher with recess duty today to resolve this

Ha! 7th grade teachers only *wish* they could have recess duty like their elementary school counterparts. They're lucky to find a school where recess is still held, much less embraced by academics-driven admin or sedentary-inclined, recreationally-challenged 21st-century children.

Referring to Cameron’s highly flattering toast to Obama during a banquet given in the prime minister’s honour when he visited Washington in March, a senior aide said: “You don’t take sides in an election year”.

Someone must have "forgot" about this election and the last one in which a certain party loves to go to Israel and talk badly about the United States in front of Israel's legislature.

bagofmice

Tell mister Romney that when he is no longer unemployed, we can talk.

Negropolis

You know, this is really funny, because the commentary across the pond is that Obama doesn't like Cameron much…commentary I hope is true. These two aren't that ideologically similar. Obama was not afraid of stimulus; Cameron sent his nation's economy back into a recession because of "austerity." This is not even to mention the Conservative Party is trying to sneak in the increasing privatization of health services. I get so tired of hearing the bullshit "if (insert name of conservative, European politician here) wasan American, he'd be a Democrat" because the conservatives, over there, have been forced mightly to cede certain social issues.

Negropolis

Forget the Camerons. He should just bypass politics, altogether and go straight to the top. The Royal Family is more his speed, anyway. I can hear the awkward, monied conservasations (are there any other kind with them?) between Mitt and Charles, as I type…