As I told you Friday, Husband has been having an affair for the last eight months. On Saturday we invited our friends to come meet her and bask in her beauty. Despite my fears (and bitter bitchy asides), they all loved Husband's Mistress and all she has to offer. And they should. She is stunning and charming and music was made and new friendships were formed. It was a good night.

Husband’s favorite part of the evening was when he sat in the project room with two very accomplished drummers as they played the bass and guitar and he played the cajon. All of three of them happily making beautiful music with other mistresses in a lovely padded room. My favorite part was Sunday at 1pm when I finally found my grandmother’s rings which for some dumb reason I found myself wearing at some point in the party. Until I’d apparently decided to take them off and put them in a 'safe place.' A place I could not remember until 1pm Sunday. I was in full panic "CRAP, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE TRASH!" mode when I finally remembered that the 'safe place' was apparently the spice cabinet.

I should not drink wine. Everything else is up for grabs but wine gives me blank spots, a screeching loud voice (according to Husband) and faulty security about my spice cabinet. I'm an idiot. Oh, I loved meeting the guy who has a pig. After seeing pictures of the pig, legs splayed in the sunshine just enjoying life, I now totally want a pig. And I think Husband’s guilt is at an all time high that I can actually get myself a pig! I think my many years of performing in and directing Charlottes Web might be also be informing this sudden desire. I might have to do some research so I can rebut all his arguments against pig. He’s sure to have them and my response can’t be, “Because Wilbur!” Even though, it is totally because of Wilbur.

How to approach the request might take some finagling. Should I go for the, “Eight months of spending every dime and all your time on her, I deserve a pig.” Or should my approach be, “I’m so proud of what you’ve done with your time and our money… can I have a pig?” For now, here are the promised pictures of the slut – I mean, Husband’s new girlfriend – in all her glory. Remember before? Smack dab in the middle of that floor is where Tigger The Dog peed our first night in the house. Sexy, right?

Well, here's The Mistress after. Husband is a pain in the ass and he never listens to what I say but he does damn good work!

I am a couple of days behind so hadn't seen friday's entry so the first sentence of this post made me feel physically sick (as someone who's ex has freaking married the mistress of 8 months!), but i read on and had a good chuckle! The mistress looks good!

Reply

ej

8/10/2015 10:23:17 pm

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I am SO SORRY!!! I was being snarky - though truthful about his 'affair' with the damn studio. Did not at all mean to open wounds anywhere else. Shit! I'm going to put myself in a corner and think about what I've done...

Reply

Q.D

8/11/2015 04:07:26 pm

NOOO! I actually thought your post was hysterical, once i got over feeling physically sick FOR YOU!

Q.D

8/10/2015 06:06:45 pm

And get the pig!

Reply

ej

8/10/2015 10:25:00 pm

Heard from a farm friend that pigs smell so trying to figure out if it's weird if I ask to babysit the pig guys pig when I blatantly told him I'd only babysit their actual child if I liked their parenting style...

Reply

Q.D

8/11/2015 04:08:35 pm

Baby sitting a pig is perfectly appropriate when you are thinking about buying one - where as you don't need to hang out with a kid to know where you stand on that one :D