Tag Archives: verbal abuse

Finally got to do a proper photoshoot to showcase my sweatshirt! Thank you Jun Hye for agreeing to model for me, and for being a big advocate for my products and campaign 🙂 Here are parts of the photoshoot! We took them at the Green Cloud Cafe in Hongdae, Seoul. I’m going to publicize this sweatshirt and its sales through various sites soon! So happy with these photos! What a beauty. 😉 The sweatshirt is designed by me, Judy Kim! It was originally for a design class for a promotional campaign fighting against verbal abuse and speaking life. This was to remind those looking that they are beautiful 😉

Etsy Store– these photos look so good with Jun Hye! Looking fabulous 🙂

Daily Boom– Korean store and site, which uses the Electronic Transfer Fund that helps makes payment so much easier in Korea!

Love those shots 🙂 Still learning how to photograph professionally for products and how it looks indoors, without a studio, or if I need to do everything in a studio.These had a warm fun casual look, with a cool artistic cafe backdrop! I like the look of these photos, but I also realize if I want to put out these products on public selling sites I might have to try new things with a clear white studio or make things more commercial-like. Either way, I think I did my part with getting nice shots of the sweatshirt! 🙂 And Jun Hye modelled very well for her first time. I shall call her and her fiancé together once again when I make more couple products 😉

More professional photos:

Love the look! And the WordPress upgrades that makes all these photo collages so lovely. Circles, tiles, squares, mosaics, etc. So cool, I wish I had one of these for my own photos that I can export for other outlets.

It was so awesome working with the lovely Jun Hye Doh! Finally got myself pictures as the artist behind the scenes. Hehe 🙂

A photoshoot success 🙂 YAY.

All photos taken by Judy Kim on a Canon 5 Mark D ii with a 40mm f/2.8 lens. All photos are copyright to Judy Kim Productions.

This is a quote from the book and movie “Perks of Being a Wallflower” which I watched again earlier this year in Venice and resonated with me even until now. It really made me think about what kind of people and things we allow in our lives. I made this because it is very much something I had to reflect on while thinking about my past relationships and had also allowed so much turmoil and emotional abuse in. If somebody treats you unrightly continually, you begin to believe it’s what you deserve. And when you think it’s what you deserve, you end up accepting it as true and right. You accept the lies, the disrespect, the abuse. Only recently have I realized this and how different people have been telling me I don’t deserve some of those things. So hard to break out of, but this quote really made me think.

“What the fuck is your problem?
What the fuck is your deal you little cunt?!” She screamed to her sister in the driver’s seat.

“You selfish piece of shit, I fucking hate you!!”

Shock, silence, and quick thinking.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!?” she screamed again.

The sensitive girl did not say much back. Too many things were being felt at once. The idiocies of her mistake, the fear that she was incredibly wrong and selfish, the confusion of what her friends just said and what this blood-related sister was screaming. The sense of humiliation yet the feelings of familiarity like she should’ve known this is what she deserved. She wasn’t allowed to have time for herself. Her sense-of-self was supposed be beat down. It did not belong to her. She would cling onto nothing else except these words being screamed at her. This was all very familiar. This large dark sometimes-violent malicious deeply-black rageful thing taking form and screaming at her.

“You are a motherfucking piece of shit. I hate you!! You’re the worst sister in the world, you selfish bitch. You think you’re a good little Christian huh? You fucking selfish bitch. Fuck you.” she finished.

Hatred and darkness surrounded the girl in the driver’s seat. All she could feel was the rage and attacks. She didn’t know she was feeling unsafe, but she was. She thought quickly. Self-analysis. “What did I do?! What did I do?!” More self-analysis. More reflection. Criticizing voices all around her. Her sensitivities heightened. Senses raised. Everything seemed to shake at her, scream in her ear about her failures and remind her to quickly analyze what she could’ve done so bad to cause such anger and hatred towards her. “The ride. Be on time. I pissed her off cus I didn’t pick her up on time. Next time I need to be on time. I need to do what she says. It’s not okay to spend time with friends if she needs me. I can’t do that. It’s my fault she’s mad. I am selfish. I’m a bad sister. I caused her anger and harm. I am really selfish. Be on time. I should be ashamed of myself. Don’t spend time with friends. I can’t do that anymore it’s selfish,” she said to herself. She needed to prove to her sister that she wasn’t.

Is it possible? For the thoughts of idealism, concepts, and ideas of safety and love.. can they manifest on this earth?

These days, I’ve been conflicted.

Because all the ways of love,
the ways of commitment
the ways of good friendships
the idealism of commitment,
the thought of safety,
protection,
consistency- good consistency
could really exist.

I’ve been quite afraid.

Afraid of love, afraid of being disappointed.
How sorrowful is a disappointed soul?
How outlandish is a broken spirit?
How hopeless is the mind of the beat-down?

I’ve been so used to inconsistency, the inconsistency of loyalty. I’m used to friends, sisters, brothers, turning their backs on me.
Suddenly.
Unpredictably.
Walking on eggshells. I’m so afraid of knowing their thoughts.
I’m so afraid that deep down they secretly hate me.
Despise me.
And are waiting to pounce on me.
To destroy my sense of dignity, to rip away my strength.
To deconstruct my reality that devalues my thoughts and emotions.
My reactions, my anger.
They desire to destroy my sense of reality.
They desire to rip away my dignity.

These people.
These ideas.
These concepts.
Have rummaged through my mind, day in and day out.
Fearful of the resurrection of the past.
So convinced I deserved it all, so convinced that malice and anger and emotional manipulation and destruction was of me.
Was the way I was to be treated.
Was the way of friendship.
Was the way of family.
Was the way of love.

So I was afraid of love.
If love meant destruction.
I didn’t want it.
I couldn’t believe in the best.

People were the vessels of anger, destruction.
The vessels of death.
The vessels of verbal destruction and endless criticism.
The destruction of the sense of self,
The destruction of the sense of worth,
The destruction of dignity and self-respect.

I’ve fought these thoughts. But they’ve been screaming in my mind, making tantrums in my head, reminding me of what I deserve.
I can’t afford to be disappointed. So I put my guards up. I put my walls up.
I put my layers of protection on, judging myself before someone else can judge me.
Destroying someone else’s dignity in my mind, before they rip apart mine.
Foreseeing their evil nature and ability to hurt me.
I can see it, I can see it all.

So I pretend, or so I avoid.
So capable of evil, they are.

—–

These days, I’ve been conflicted.

Through a series of events.
People, ideas, concepts.
Idealism.
Whispers from the heavenlies.

Perhaps love is real.
Perhaps protection is real.
Perhaps safety in friendship is real.
Consistency.
Manifested on this earth.
Not utter destruction, bitching, betrayal in a moment, then back to friendship.
That’s not real friendship.
That was wrong. Really wrong.

Get to Know Judy

Hey there! My name is Judy Kim and I am an entrepreneur that to wears many different hats: writer, blogger, photographer, videographer, filmmaker, editor, director, painter, calligrapher, and so on.
I love trying new things and learning about life! Currently, I am located in Seoul, South Korea and am full of creative business ideas and usually working on personal projects!