(For those about to get knocked the eff out, we salute you. Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

FUCKIN’ HUSKERS!!! Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to business. “Ultimate Fight Night: Diaz vs. Neer” is going down in Omaha as we speak. But since it’s airing on tape-delay in most of the country, there might be some spoilers after the jump; feel free to come back when it’s 8 p.m. in your time zone. And please leave plenty o’comments now that leaving comments on this site isn’t such a pain in the ass. Click the “More” link when you’re mentally prepared, and refresh the page every few minutes to get all the latest from the Omaha Civic Center.

(P.S.: Stockton, son. Stockton California.)

We open with a black and white shot of Evan Tanner, former UFC champion, with the tribute “You’ll be missed.” Keep him in mind tonight…

Hometown boy of all hometown boys Houston Alexander is up first. Time to represent Omaha’s vibrant local ass-beating scene. Eric Schafer will be playing the role of bad guy.

At 8:12, Bruce Buffer finally tells us that we are live. Schafer is booed hard right off the bat, obviously.

Round 1: Houston clinches at his first opportunity and slams two big knees into Schafer’s face. They scramble to the ground, but Alexander wisely gets up when the finish doesn’t present itself. Schafer rushes in to clinch against the fence, and Houston reverses him. Schafer shoots again, and Alexander stuffs and clinches. They both throw knees and Houston separates. Schafer again with the takedown attempt and he gets it. Schafer passes to side control. Houston rolls out and Schafer tries for a guillotine. Houston escapes but Schafer gets the mount and starts throwing punches. Big elbows from Schafer. Alexander gives up his back briefly, then jerks around frantically to avoid blows. Schafer locks on an arm-triangle from the top and Houston taps with 9 seconds left. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Houston sucks on an oxygen mask. He, and the fans in attendance, are stunned. Joe Rogan asks Schafer to take us through the Star Wars: The Force Unleashed Replay. Ouch. Schafer dedicates his performance to Evan Tanner and they still boo him.

Ed Herman vs. Alan Belcher
Belcher is booed just because the fans are still pissed and need to boo at somebody. They dig Ed Herman, though. And Dan Miragliotta is back.Round 1: Ed Herman tries for a takedown after getting his eye grazed by Belcher’s fingers. They clinch against the cage and are separated by Big Dan. Belcher’s striking is looking sharp early; he’s landing some nice leg and body kicks. Herman’s got nothin’ yet. Belcher lands a hard leg kick, and Herman grabs it and hauls him against the fence. Belcher reverses and starts throwing knees. Big Dan separates them again, a bit too early this time. Herman lands a solid right, but Belcher grabs him and works his clinch again. Herman scores a takedown and piles Herman against the fence, looking for a darce choke. Belcher gets up and Herman bulls him back to the ground, looking for another submission. Belcher gets up as the round ends.

Round 2: Belcher’s lip is bloodied. He sticks Herman with a sharp jab, then throws it again. Herman lands a couple punches of his own. Herman rushes in with a hook to the body and an elbow to the face. Belcher nails Herman with a nasty overhand right and clinches with him against the cage. They break. Herman looks a bit slowed down now. Belcher with a hard leg kick, then a body kick that’s caught. Herman takes Belcher down and works some short strikes from the top. Belcher tries to push Herman off, but Herman sticks on him. Belcher climbs to his feet. Belcher takes his eyes off Herman to draw him in then lands a superman punch. The bell rings as he loads up another one.

Round 3: Herman shoots and is stuffed. Belcher lands a clean right hand. Herman lands one of his own. Belcher popping the jab, then lands a body kick while his corner screams “no kicks Alan!” Herman clinches and they’re separated before anyone can get hurt. Good straight right from Belcher. Then a spinning backfist that grazes Herman, who responds by shooting. He clinches Belcher against the fence then gets the takedown and falls into half-guard. Herman nearly traps Belcher’s arm with his knee. Belcher gets to his feet, then throws a head kick and a right hook. Herman scores another takedown and gets the mount. Belcher nearly rolls into a rear-naked choke. Herman throws some fists into Belcher’s face from the top as the fight comes to an end. Very close fight. Will the judges give it to Belcher’s striking or Herman’s takedowns?

Apparently, on the season premiere of Manswers (11 p.m. on Spike), they’re going to tell you what the #1 sex injury in America is. Pulled groin, maybe?

Mac Danzig vs. Clay GuidaRound 1: Danzig rushes in with a punch combo but doesn’t land. Danzig with a head kick; he wants to come out as the aggressor. Guida lands two leg kicks. Danzig misses a kick and almost gets taken down. Danzig clinches with Guida against the cage. They separate, and Danzig pops him with a punch, then a body kick. Danzig rushes forward with more punches and a kick but Guida grabs him and takes him down. They scramble and Danzig almost sets up a kimura. Danzig gets up, escaping damage on the ground. Danzig picks Guida up and slams him hard. Danzig thinking about a guillotine from the bottom. Danzig gets up, gets slammed again. This aint looking good. Danzig looks for a gogoplata for a second. Guida slugging the body and head on the ground. Danzig tries to get to his feet again and the bell rings.

Round 2: Guida with a sharp leg kick. Then a body kick. Danzig leaps in with a front kick to the face, but Guida punches him back and takes him down. As before, Danzig has no problem getting up. Now it’s Guidsa rushing in with punches. Guida shoots and pulls Danzig down against the fence. Danzig gets to his feet and lands a right hand. Guida with another takedown, and Danzig’s out quickly. Danzig tries to shoot and throws a knee in the clinch. Guida takes Danzig’s back and gets a takedown. Guida nearly gets an arm in for a rear-naked choke. And the bell. Guida is dominating. Danzig needs to wake up and make something happen.

Round 3: Danzig gets a punch combo, but Guida shoots and pushes him against the fence. Danzig gets an arm around Guida’s neck, but loses it. Danzig lands some punches in the clinch, then he shoots, takes Guida down and grabs his arm. Guida escapes and goes back to bulling him against the cage. Danzig is sucking air. Guida takes Danzig’s back and hangs on tight. Guida takes Danzig down and gets on top, but Danzig gets up. Guida seems happy just to clinch out the round. He takes Danzig down yet again and punches caveman-style as the round ends. Should be a unanimous decision for Guida.

During the fight, Mike mentioned that The Ultimate Fighter 9 will be U.S. vs. U.K.

Nate Diaz vs. Josh Neer
Joe Rogan says that Josh Neer has had over 100 amateur fights. But that counts bare-knuckle backyard boxing. And kickboxing smokers. And flag football games. Neer comes out to a seriously fruity-ass homo-rock ballad. No offense. Nate Diaz punches himself in the face repeatedly as he walks out to the cage. Brother Nick, as always, got his back. Nate warms up in the cage by throwing air-haymakers. A sign of things to come? Fowlkes writes: “Word is Arianny is working through the flu tonight. What a trooper.”

Round 1: Neer gets a leg kick in right away, throws some punches and clinches. He quickly takes Diaz down and looks for a darce choke. He switches to a guillotine but gives it up. Diaz tries to get up and Neer stuffs him back down. Diaz gets up again and Neer sticks on his back. Diaz reverses and tries for his own takedown. They’re up after a brief ground scramble. Diaz throwing punches in bunches, with Neer’s back against the fence. The momentum seems to have turned in Nate’s favor. Nate gets a huge judo throw and slams Neer on his back. Diaz goes to half guard and slugs Neer in the face. Then again from a standing position. Diaz dives back in, fakes the kneebar and takes Neer’s back looking for a choke. Neer spins out as the bell rings.

Round 2: Nate throwing hands to start the frame. Neer scoops him up and puts him on the ground. Diaz pops up and takes Neer down. Neer gets in a stiff upkick. Diaz is lured back down and Neer briefly threatens Diaz’s arm. Good upkick to the body from Neer, who then gets up and takes Diaz down. Neer takes Diaz’s back, looking for the choke. Diaz pops out, scrambles, and almost sets up a triangle. Diaz trying for an armbar, and Neer gets to his feet. Diaz shoots for Neer’s legs, pulls him back down. Neer dives in with an axe kick and an elbow. Diaz gets back to his feet, throwing strikes in the clinch. Somewhere, a horn sounds.

Round 3: Diaz comes out swinging. Neer lands a push kick. Diaz goes for the takedown, but Neer takes his back. Diaz reverses and takes Neer down. Neer lands a sharp elbow from the bottom. Diaz smothers Neer when he gets up and winds up on Neer’s back. Diaz moves to the mount but Neer gets out of it and kicks Diaz off of him. Neer has done a great job of avoiding damage on his back. Neer tries for the armbar but Neer gets up and grabs onto Diaz’s arm. Diaz with another judo toss in the last ten seconds and he finishes the round throwing down punches.

The scores for the main event: 29-28 Neer, 29-28 Diaz, and 29-28 Diaz. This split decision belongs to Stockton.

Nate Diaz’s “motherfucker” is bleeped in the post-fight interview, but they miss his “shit.” While giving Neer his props, Diaz says something about how jiu-jitsu black belts need to learn how to box, then says “some people” need to stop being bitches and fight his brother. Come on Nate, secrets are no fun!

So there y’go. Houston is headed back to the minors, Ed Herman can’t catch a break, Mac Danzig maybe isn’t the next big thing in the lightweight division, and Nate Diaz is still a foul-mouthed rascal. Thanks for reading…time to watch this motherfucking TUF 8 premiere!

the dumbass,who never served in anything ,kind who get their ass beat and get fired from the UFC, thats who.
I am dissapointed in Houston, hes 36....and that was his last fight in the UFC, he wont make it back. He needs to learn its called mixed martial arts, not weightlifting body building, one punch wonder arts.

straight up criminal dog- September 17, 2008 at 3:41 pm

thank you mayem i pay for satanta sports dog and i dont get the whole event.carnt wait 4 ufc 89 dogs but i still will not c the undercard fights but it will be on earlier.i no some american dogs are not pumped about that.i wanted to c hitler/napoleon get batterd sily.i think 89 is gona be better than dogs think uno.

Houston We Have a Problem- September 17, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Did anyone else think that Houston Alexander kind of gave up? He was bringing the heat, stuffing takedowns and then just kind of tips over when Shaffer went for a weak ass takedown. Once he was on the ground it looked like he instantly gasses and was totally baffled on how to even try to escape the mount. I realize that Shaffer is a black belt and all, but I'm looking for effort...in front of the home town.

TheONE- September 17, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Oh and MUCH RESPECT to Nate Diaz for actually showing up like he's got some sense, that is until, he opened his mouth.

TheONE- September 17, 2008 at 3:03 pm

I am OFFICIALLY OFF the Houston Alexander band wagon. . . . .

The Phantom- September 17, 2008 at 2:05 pm

What kind of queer salutes with their left hand?!

skidding- September 17, 2008 at 1:39 pm

You guys are clowning on Jose Aguilar, but I think it's a travesty that he didn't make it into the house. There's no reason for me to tune into the first half of the show now.

He was probably the most colorful character on the show. He's not a prick like Jeremy May... he strikes me more of a complete moron with affable characteristics (like the Diaz brothers). I sincerely think the idiotic things he said were just that... and that he had no idea what the hell was coming out of his mouth.

This sucks... now this season's show is going to be straight up wack, dawg, like Napoleon, Hitler and Vanilla Ice.

mayhem420- September 17, 2008 at 12:58 pm

Jose Aguilar, criminal dog quit before the 2nd round. He was getting killed so it was not a surprise. As for Lance Evens he quit during the fight due to rib injury... he looked BAD during the fight.

#1 sex injury was a broken penis... yep.... missed going in and SNAP!

straight up criminal dog- September 17, 2008 at 12:13 pm

and what kind of reception did hitler get dogs?

straight up criminal dog- September 17, 2008 at 12:04 pm

hey dogs am from england and i would like to no if u got to see all the undercard fights on spike.i only got the main 4 fights and it said that tuf fights was coming up after the break then some pakistani football come on i nearly had a seizure.can someone tell me also what happend to hitler and sugars brother i will pay u in friendly thank you dogs.

injuries- September 17, 2008 at 9:26 am

The #1 sex related injury is a torn ACL.

That's how I got mine =[

KellenAvalanche- September 17, 2008 at 8:05 am

fruity-ass homo-rock ballad
so the song liked guys? siiiick

Suqleg- September 17, 2008 at 7:28 am

sooo... what was the #1 sex related injury? :D

ga- September 17, 2008 at 6:32 am

why is it no one said shit bout houston knee'n a downed fighter again

vrax- September 17, 2008 at 6:01 am

I was quite impressed by the Uchi mata and Koshi Garuma from Diaz, much improved Judo.

I hate to see Houston go out like a bitch, but hey if you fight like one I guess thems the breaks.
Ed Herman never was shit, and he still aint.
Danzig aint shit, nothing but an atheist-vegan trash, I hope we see LESS of him as well.
Sadly they still havent put anyone of any skills against the young Diaz brother, he won, but looked like crap doing it...and talks like crap, what a surprise.
I was glad to see Joe Louzon won on the undercard.
Great fights all around, and damn I did pretty good picking em.
As for the TUF opening episode:
Geeez what a bunch of scrubs so far, nothing but losers, and pretenders, thug wannabees , and morons who cant make weight.
My favorite part of the night was when "Dog I should be with Hitler, and napoleon, and other conquerers dog, cause dog Im just straight up criminal dog".....well DOG you quit like a pussy! your career is like napoleon, and hitler......its fucking DEAD....DOG! :) hahahaha
As for Junie...good fight dude, you talk to much, and you ALMOST....almost got impregnated by "Da DOG" there a couple times, you aint half as bad as you talk.
Clays older brother is a fat lardass, bucket of nothing, nothing like clay for sure...go carry Clays jockstrap bro.
Rashad Evans brother was a serious letdown...what a PUSSY!
man this season is shaping up lame so far I have no one I can cheer for...yet.

Eugene- September 17, 2008 at 4:31 am

Herman is the most overrated fighter of all time. Where is this "short fuse" of his already? I've yet to see any glimpse of heart from this guy when he fights. He either needs to show some heart or this "short fuse" of his in the cage because his nickname is going to be changed to "short career" in no time. He might be the shit in training but that means jack come fight time. Some guys shine in practice, others in game time... Ed Herman doesn't shine where it matters.

Joe Rogan- September 17, 2008 at 4:20 am

I like cock!

albertaman- September 17, 2008 at 3:38 am

Herman losing, not surprised. Diaz winning, not surprised. Houston Alexander losing because he fought a grappler, not surprising. Houston buddy, need to work that ground game

Anonymous- September 17, 2008 at 3:35 am

Joe Duarte pwns Says:

September 17th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Joe Duarte is the next Anderson Silva baby.

LOL!!! No shit!! What about that Junie Allen Browning holy crap!! Good fighter

Ok if Hitler was an MMA fighter, I really doubt he would give up after 1 round.

Anonymous- September 17, 2008 at 2:56 am

to df, dana said someone on the next ultimate fighter could be the next anderson silva he didnt say who .One of the cagepotato writers thought that he might have been talking about joe duarte ,but i think he was talking about that clown with the blonde hair who fought jose aguillar who was also a clown.

Deadpanda- September 17, 2008 at 2:53 am

Cecil Peoples needs to be put down. Herman won that; it was close, but it was a win.

Joe Duarte pwns- September 17, 2008 at 2:51 am

Honestly tho, Juni Browning is a badass.

Joe Duarte pwns- September 17, 2008 at 2:44 am

Joe Duarte is the next Anderson Silva baby.

dferg- September 17, 2008 at 1:56 am

Indeed, Nate Diaz for president. With Nick as the VP. And Duarte is a bust. Wasn't Dana White saying he was the next Anderson Silva a couple of months back?

babcock- September 17, 2008 at 1:45 am

P.S. Joe Duarte is a bust. he got beat by a murse! woot woot

babcock- September 17, 2008 at 1:44 am

anyone else think that diaz should have got the unanimous decision? it looked like neer thought so after they announced a score in his favor

Darrin- September 17, 2008 at 1:24 am

I loved Josh Neer's fruity-ass homo rock ballad. "Bother" by Stone Sour is one of my favorite songs ever, although I will admit, I thought it was odd in the UFC.
Great song. Probably not the best timing. Liked it anyway. That's just me, though.

i had herman, danzig, and alexander, if nate doesnt come trough im gettin shutout on this one

Dota- September 17, 2008 at 12:32 am

Cecil peoples by decision

the carpenter- September 17, 2008 at 12:31 am

anyone catch the guy giving the finger in the background of those drunk chicks after the guida fight?

Warcraft- September 16, 2008 at 11:56 pm

Ed Herman got robbed with the split decision I though he was pressing the action more and had more takedowns. Blecher rocked Herman a few more times standing but he never had him in any real trouble IMO so the how did Alan Blecher pull off the win???