Stop Studying! Start Relaxing!

Alright LSAT prep friends, we’re on our last weekend before the June 2014 LSAT exam. As we discussed in the last blog post, Friday should be the last day you take a full-length practice LSAT. Score it. Review it. But, then stop with full-length exams. On Saturday you want to just take timed LSAT sections. And then Sunday is a day of rest, relaxation and complete respite from your LSAT prep. That’s right. I don’t want you to prep for the LSAT come Sunday. Instead, go ahead and pop open this blog and read below for a nice distraction.

I know that this process of LSAT studying can sometimes tire you out and weaken your resolve to become a lawyer. Today, on this glorious day before your June LSAT (assuming you have left the rest of this blog for Sunday), I wanted to help you strengthen your passion to uphold justice by sharing with you some true stories of appalling attorneys out in the world—the likes of which you’ll hopefully crush once you finish law school!

Here are a few examples of some real-life lawyers who are true life villains:

Thomas Lowe – Sex Ain’t Free
This attorney takes the cake in meticulous billing. Lowe was a divorce lawyer from Minnesota who represented a long-term acquaintance of his in her divorce. After working many hours together, they started having sexual relations. Not only was his client still married, but Lowe was, as well. The best part is that Lowe began to bill his client for the hours that they were having sexual relations. Don’t worry—he itemized the entire list so she knew exactly what she was paying for. Lowe’s license was suspended and he was barred from practicing the law for 15 months, at which point he can apply to be reinstated, provided he completes the professional responsibility portion of the bar exam again.

Michael Winner Will Take Sexual IOUs
Winner was a criminal defense attorney from Georgia. Being a busy lawyer, Winner wanted to figure out the best way to optimize all the time he spent in prisons. So he killed two birds with one stone by representing his clients in prison, while also getting a few peepshows on the side. Winner exchanged contraband items and free legal service for peepshows from the other side of the glass partition in the prison’s private attorney/client room. He even bartered legal service for sexual IOUs whenever the inmates were released from prison. Eventually, one of the inmates complained, and he was arrested for three counts of “unlawful trading” with inmates. Talk about tit for tat!

John Milton Steals Money From Orphans
Milton represented a tragic case involving four little girls losing their parents in a car crash. Milton sued the tire manufacturer and the automaker of the car that malfunctioned, winning a very large settlement for the orphans. However, he subsequently proceeded to withdraw the settlement money from the bank using counterfeit court documents ordering disbursements made out to him. He emptied the girls’ account and left them with no money. He did this again four years later to a young boy he represented who was injured in an automobile accident. Eventually, he was found out when a federal investigation got in the way of his evil schemes.

There’s a lot of corruption out there. That’s where you step in. After three years of law school you’ll have a J.D. in one arm and a cape floating behind you. Continue working hard so that in a few years you can start fighting the ridiculous amount of evil in the world.