Community Question: My 3rd grader hates writing.

Community Question is a category inspired by you. Here and there readers write in with questions that are better served by the varied, experiential knowledge of those who read and contribute in the comments.

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The following question is from Neia S.

“Hi my name is Neia, and my question is about writing. I have an 8 year old in 3rd grade that hates writing. Needless to say essay and reports are struggles. What are you using or suggest I could use?”

Do you have a struggling 3rd grade writer? Did you have one in the past and worked through it? If so, what curriculum did you use or what did you do to help him/her?

Heather Sanders

Hi. I’m Heather, a freelance writer living in Huntsville, a smallish town on the tail-end of the East Texas Pineywoods.
Twenty years ago, I married Jeff, the love of my life, and shortly after, we chose to “go forth and multiply.” We have three kids: Emelie, Meredith and Kenny. We homeschool. It's what we do, and it works for us.
Tired of feeling overwhelmed, we recently "faithsized" our family into a 960 square foot lake cabin in need of renovation. I write at HeatherSanders.com about faith and simplifying your desires so you can be content right here and right now

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http://smallworldathome.blogspot.com Sarah at SmallWorld

If your third grader hates writing, back off! There is absolutely no need for a child that age to be writing essays and reports. Absolutely NONE! I generally hold off on teaching essay writing until 6th grade. Up until that point, we do fun writing. Try doing a daily journal where s/he writes 1-2 things about his day and then illustrates it. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling at this point; let it be about loving the process of putting words on paper. Or just leave off writing for several months, since your child has developed a hatred of it.
I have a free creative writing program on my blog that can be used for kids of many ages: http://smallworldathome.blogspot.com/2009/01/introducing-smallworlds-wordsmithery.html. This is a really fun way to get writing together!

http://www.goodreads.com/fw2books farmwifetwo

First make certain the child can see, read and spell. Dyslexia and being unable to see the page will prevent someone from writing.

If that isn’t an issue many people have recommended “Handwriting without tears”. We used it for cursive writing.

Stephanie

When I was that age I was very stubborn and didn’t like writing because it hurt my hands (and spelling was extremely frustrating), and due to already being in the special ed program they let me dictate to an adult who wrote up my answers. They also taught me typing. Typing really did the trick as I am significantly faster on a keyboard and the spelling is much less arduous when you can just press the backspace instead of messing up the word constantly by trying to erase or correct it. Though really I didn’t gain much speed or accuracy until I was chatting with friends online and I had to be fast enough and good enough to keep up with them. By working around the actual physical act of writing, I was able to learn how to craft essays and stories effectively. My handwriting is still pretty terrible and my endurance is horrible, but I am able to get my point across effectively, which is really the main point of writing!

http://itwasbroughtonbylove.blogspot.com Southern Gal

Letting the child dictate to you is a wonderful way to get them interested in expressing thoughts or telling stories. It takes the pressure off about spelling and handwriting and they seem to go into more detail because of it.

Sandi

My son was the same way. He absolutely hated it, always failed anything that required him to write. When he had sympathetic teachers, they would let him do an oral report/exam and he would do great and with great embellishment and detail. When they insisted on writing, he failed. We did tutoring, we did extra coaching at home, we home schooled one year and went on road trips and the only writing he had to do besides some spelling words was to keep a journal of the places he visited and what he liked best about each place. Even that was a struggle. Once he was allowed to start typing instead of handwriting, he improved dramatically. To my great consternation, one of his high school English teachers even pushed him into an AP class that was almost entirely reading. He aced the part of the class he did. (Senioritis kicked in and he got lazy…) His handwriting is still atrocious, and anything handwritten is still as short as he can get away with, but he can write 10-page essays if allowed to type it. Considering the way the world is going, I figure as long as he can communicate via computer he will be fine. I do think that all the “Just tell me the story” work when he was young still helped him learn how to compose and formulate, he just has issues with physical handwriting, so that is what I recommend. and lots and lots and lots of patience!

WB

Maybe just not worry about it so much? Not everyone develops handwriting and composition skills at the same time and, in my opinion, third grade is too early to really be worrying about it. If you’ve checked for a motor, visual or learning disability, then you might give it a year or two before you worry about writing.

Both my kids had trouble with handwriting and my daughter hated to compose essays at that age. I just let it go, for the most part. My son used the computer instead and my daughter just didn’t write essays. They still had to write some things some times but it wasn’t something we ‘worked’ on. For example, instead of writing an essay on a topic, they might have created a brochure, website or display board instead.

I figured (hoped) that their handwriting and essay writing skills would develop over time. Sure enough, both finally figured it out and have done very well in college.

I admit I was very nervous when my son started college classes because I knew he would need to hand write essays during exams. I’m sure his essays weren’t the easiest to read but he always did just fine on his exams.

FWIW, we did try Handwriting Without Tears but neither enjoyed it all that much and finally I gave up on it too.

Alicia

I hated writing as a kid but learning to type made it so much easier. How about something easy. Like start an email thread with grandma or grandpa. Basically an email a day or more to write about what is going on in her life .

Stacie Lazarcheff

I agree with the other comments about starting small. When my daughter was in third grade I had her (on separate occasions) write three paragraphs, one for each of three things we did over the summer. After she wrote the three paragraphs, she wrote an introduction paragraph, then a closing paragraph. The final step was to piece the 5 paragraphs together. She had to make minor tweaks to the original 3 paragraphs to account for transition sentences from one to the other, but in the end she had a solid 5 paragraph paper that made sense. Completing this paper was painless for her, since it was done over the course of 3 weeks. She wasn’t aware at the beginning that each paragraph would become something bigger..

http://sciarrettafarms.etsy.com Birgitte

I agree with backing off the 3rd grader, but for you with older children here is my experience.
My son was older, he was in 6th grade and hated writing. We started using Writing Strands, just one little lesson each day, and he loved it. He now writes better than I do!

Erin

I am wondering…does she hates to write as in the thought process that goes along with story-telling? Or does she hate physical act of writing?

http://www.iliveinanantbed.com I Live in an Antbed

We have used a great writing curriculum for several years now. It’s called The Institute for Excellence in Writing. So many kids don’t understand the steps required in the creative process of composition. This curriculum teaches them how to follow a systematic approach based on dissecting the well written work of someone else, and then to create their own, original work from those pieces. It provides a framework they can master which allows their own creativity to be the focus of their writing, instead of stressing out about how to write. They have LOTS of materials, from the introduction to the method to themed books with writing lesson plans.http://www.excellenceinwriting.com/

http://www.momofjstk.blogspot.com Tammy

Agree with all the above comments. She’s not ready. Try writing prompts for a journal and keep it ungraded for now. Have her write as much as she can in 15 minutes and then she’s done. (unless of course, she gets inspired and WANTS to write more).

http://thegirlinheels.com Elizabeth Caram

With all due respect, I disagree with taking a “zero tolerance for writing” approach. As a high school teacher who has taught children grades third through twelve, the more you allow a child to say, “I hate writing” or “I hate math” or “I hate ______,” for that matter, the more he or she will assume it is OK to hate subjects in school. I suggest you find a chapter book that will most likely interest him, or maybe even just a classic like Charlotte’s Web. Give it a whirl. Don’t give up.

Doularuth

Great ideas so far, typing instead of writing is a great idea – but I highly recommend if that is the route you choose, be sure to add in some keyboarding instructions so she doesn’t have to spend her whole life hunting and pecking.

I think on of the keys to developing a love of writing is to give her meaningful things to write. Essays and book reports are not meaningful for a 3rd grader in most cases. Instead, write letters, thank you notes, e-mails, get her on a safe and kid friendly cyber bulletin board, write captions to pictures, or have her write her own short book with illustrations and “publish” it in a hard bound book form. If she has a younger sibling, write the book for the sibling.

Play word games in the car or whenever that will help her write. Expand a sentence is a great one: You say “The dog jumped” and each player must add a word without changing the order of the first words to expand the sentence. Also giving her sentence puzzles like “can you combine these two sentences?” or “Can you make these two long sentences shorter?” You can also list synonyms or antonyms for a given word and keep score for how many you can think of. Tell verbal stories to each other or make a continuous story that you keep adding to. If it works, keep the continuous story on the fridge and as someone thinks of an idea, add to the story.

If you are really bent on having her write, give her a composition book and have her write a paragraph a day. You can pick the topic or sometimes she can pick. At the 3rd grade level, three short sentences are sufficient. Once a week, or once a month, pick a paragraph to expand and edit.

If the actual physical writing part is what is bothering her, feel free to take dictation. The point is to help her get her thoughts down on paper at this point – to see her thoughts in the written word.

Keep reminding her and modeling that writing is a process. You write it, you read it, you change it, you read it again, you change it… Every time YOU write, show her this process.

Lastly, write notes to her that she can respond to in writing. Have mailboxes where these notes can go.

http://www.kristinwithani.wordpress.com Kristin S

I totally agree with Sarah.

I used to teach third grade (fave) and some parents were relentless at pushing their kids to write or advance in math or read to the next level. There is a place for “pushing” if a child is not working to his or her potential but if it is just not an interest, don’t push.

I was a third grader who hated writing. HATED writing. Now I love to write. It took time and a high school teacher who really nurtured me to a place where I enjoyed the process and I could work out of my logical strengths.

Journal. Draw. Write a story with words and maybe write down later or draw pictures or take him or her outside to build something to tell a story.

Your child may not author best selling books, but it will come with time.

Rebecca F

🙂 For my writing-hating DS, he would whine and complain or play until at the end of 15 minutes, there would still not be anything on the paper. For him though, it is an ADD issue of not being able to hold the thoughts long enough in his head while he works through the act of physically writing and spelling the words. He might get stuck on spelling a word and then lose the rest of the sentence in his head, so he gets frustrated. When he has to write long paragraphs for (public) school, I will sometimes go the route of letting him dictate to me and then copy over what I write down for him. He loses the spelling aspect, but gains in the story telling/writing composition part. I also work with his teachers to find out when they want to see the “kid spelling” and when they are really working on composition, so I know when this is okay and when it is not. If the teacher wants to see “kid spelling”, then I will have him dictate the sentence to me and I will verbally help him keep on track when he forgets what comes next. Much like a “line prompter” for a theater production.

TxMom

My daughter (3rd grade last year) was beginning to hate writing assignments. I couldn’t understand this as she wrote fantastic short stories, songs and poetry on her own. She enjoyed the poetry, alliteration exercises, adding extra adjectives, etc. but was really hating to write, even if I let her dictate.

I started using First Language Lessons by Jessie Wise for my younger son who has problems with language and really loved the approach that the Well Trained Mind takes toward writing and grammar. The program focuses first on copywork, dictation, narration, grammar and reading, of course. The older grades focus on writing once the child is older and has a solid background.

I backed off last year in writing with my daughter and this year I started her in the 3rd grade level with the idea that we will progress quickly through and be up to speed before long. I see the narration in particular as being a valuable skill. Many adults can’t summarize a story (or whatever) in three sentences and that is what she is learning to do.

It is a different way of looking at the writing process than I was used to. I would suggest reading about the program and seeing if the approach appeals to you.

Jessica

My son was the same way. We started a question journal. I would write a question for him to respond to and tuck the notebook under his pillow. He would discovery the journal, answer the question using a complete sentence and then get to write a question for me to answer. It improved his writing and handwriting immensely and gave us a chance to connect.

http://www.oursmallhours.com Our Small Hours

My 8 year old just finished the 3rd grade and has recently begun creative writing. To me, that is a stepping stone to essays and reports.

He can write about whatever, whenever and when it’s school time, I edit his writing. He loves being able to fix grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes and have his work be a “real book”.

We don’t start reports and essays until the 5th grade here.

Kelly

Essays are daunting for grown-ups, let alone 3rd graders! I’ve really enjoyed the suggestions thus far, making it fun – using keyboarding to make it less stressful and also being sure to rule out any learning disability or anything of that sort. Not everyone digs the writing process (even those of us who make it our living struggle some days just to put words on the page) but I love the journal idea or maybe eventually have her start a blog? Also, as a journalist and educator – good writers are often good readers since to write well takes somebody often showing you how!

Kalendi

Writing (the physical act) is hard, but most children have great imaginations and love to tell stories. I think the idea of dictating is a great one and let them see what they said. Also have them create very short things like journal entries, without worrying about grammar and spelling for now. Make it fun, later you can use those as grammar or spelling lessons. I do think that while computers are wonderful and keyboarding, texting etc. is the way many people communicate it is still important to be able to write with a pen or pencil on paper, but don’t push him or her.

Rachel

A lot of great ideas, and I think all of them already sound great and are very much along the lines of what I was thinking to suggest. I will reiterate the sentiment of backing off the “high stakes” writing like reports, etc.

When you do practice writing, keep it ungraded; do it to nurture the act and don’t worry about perfecting mechanics yet. Instead, do short exercises (3-5 sentence paragraphs) with topics that you know will interest her like a quick review of a movie, a picture book, or something totally kooky. There are a lot of websites with great, free creative writing prompts. Invite her to write her own picture book just one page at a time (if the burden of creative birth is overwhelming, try using a character she already knows like Junie B. Jones or the Berenstain Bears), and encourage her draw/doodle pictures to go with each page. Try to make games any way you can; for example, play Bananagrams together then (both of you) make up stories that use all of the words from your own Bananagram. Others have suggested additional good word games. Find a penpal for her, a cousin, family friend, or fellow homeschooler about the same age and see if they’re open to writing to each other (I got my first penpal about this age & we’ve been writing for 20 years now!). I also like the idea of having her dictate to you, as some others have suggested.

If you can, try to figure out why she doesn’t like it. Is it the creative process, insecurity, or the act of writing? That way you can safely rule out any needs like glasses, dyslexia, etc. and focus on games/approaches that help her overcome that issue.

kellymarie

Well my son has L.D., several of them including dyslexia and he struggles with writing. His lettering, his sentence structure or ideas… We use Handwriting without tears and he’s in 3rd grade.. Teacher created materials at CBD has these thin books, How to write a sentence– etc… Also I have these word domonios which you can put sentences together and then I have him write them down.. We also have story sparkers(which are these picture cards ) and the child gets ideas from that and writes… Good Luck

http://oursunnyview.blogspot.com Sarah B.

I agree with other folks. Back off a little. Do some free writing. Jot down some poems. Let the child explore his/her inner voice without worrying about spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Do some fun activities like letting the child hold an object and describe it to you while you try to draw it, and then you can demonstrate how words can show detail. Let him/her write a play and perform it with you. Let him/her write an advertisement for something you have in the house and videotape it. Reports and essays can come later – for now, have fun! (Oh, and if you want something a little more concrete, I recommend “The Writer’s Jungle.” Incredibly helpful!)

EmJay

Is the problem with physically writing or with composition? My son is a third grader and has struggled with writing. Physically writing. He reads at a 7th grade level and can spin elaborate stories verbally, but ask him to write more than a word or two or even his whole name and it could take a very long time. I have looked into dysgraphia and think he is within that range, but can be helped. Essentially his brain has not worked out the physical parts of writing yet. Check out http://www.diannecraft.org. We took the summer off, but plan to start with her exercises in the next few weeks. I’m hopeful.