I'm pretty new, so first off-- hello to everyone and thanks for all of the tips you've been posting!

I have "wurly" hair (e.g. somewhere between 2b and 3a...depends on products, weather, and other mysterious forces). I wore my hair straight for about 15 years before going CG about 5 weeks ago. Initially, I just wanted to find a way to wear my hair naturally and have it look neat, polished, and pretty. I've made some progress as far as controlling the frizz and maintaining shape throughout the day but, now that I've had some success, I find myself obsessing about getting it as curly as possible... A few weeks ago, I would have been thrilled with frizz-less beach waves, now, if I don't have root curl and coils, I feel as though I'm having an awful hair day. It's starting to feel as though I'm working just as hard to get my hair curly as I used to to get it straight... and the bottom line is that I feel like I'm still fighting my natural texture.

Do other wavies struggle with this too? How do I come to terms with the fact that my hair is, in essence, neither here nor there?

I'm pretty new, so first off-- hello to everyone and thanks for all of the tips you've been posting!

I have "wurly" hair (e.g. somewhere between 2b and 3a...depends on products, weather, and other mysterious forces). I wore my hair straight for about 15 years before going CG about 5 weeks ago. Initially, I just wanted to find a way to wear my hair naturally and have it look neat, polished, and pretty. I've made some progress as far as controlling the frizz and maintaining shape throughout the day but, now that I've had some success, I find myself obsessing about getting it as curly as possible... A few weeks ago, I would have been thrilled with frizz-less beach waves, now, if I don't have root curl and coils, I feel as though I'm having an awful hair day. It's starting to feel as though I'm working just as hard to get my hair curly as I used to to get it straight... and the bottom line is that I feel like I'm still fighting my natural texture.

Do other wavies struggle with this too? How do I come to terms with the fact that my hair is, in essence, neither here nor there?

Originally Posted by Sbudsky

I SO know what you are going through. I became obsessed too with trying to get the maximum curl.
Once i chopped my hair the obsession went away matter of fact I grew my hair out just to see how curly it would get.
Not sure I have much advice (other than cutting your hair

I know a lot of girls wish their hair was curlier. I actually really like being a wavy, and am trying to figure out ways to style the curlier parts of my hair that frame my face so that they read as wavy instead of curly.

I don't see it as having hair that's neither here nor there. I think wavy is it's own thing. Maybe you need to do some searching through the celeb pic threads and find some pics of wavy role models? Maybe that will help you get rid of the idea that wavy is wannabe-curly.

Hey, just wanted to say I know how you feel. When my hair was shorter it was definately 3c with tight coils root to tip. Now that its longer I have an S type paterrn, and now only some of the tips are curly, the rest looks like really tight waves. Im told that its pretty common for my hair type but I cant help feeling dissapointed at times.

Sometimes I get hair envy from ppl who post pics of glorious curls, spirals and coils, but I am starting to come to the terms with the fact that my hair is the way it is, and it is beautiful in its own way. Im sure every now and them I will try rollers or twists to get a "real curl", but for now I just remind myself that the whole point I even came to this site was to accept my natural hair the way it is, and not only to stop envying straight haired people, but to stop envying all people period.

Im sure you will come to terms with it too if you relax a little more and realize that your hair is beautiful.

I usually like my hair better on curlier days, too. But I've also learned to accept and appreciate all the different looks it can get (well, except for the warped, lopsided look it sometimes gets when it's feeling especially torn between the wavy and curly options!)

I think a more positive way to frame it, though, might be "both here and there!"

Thanks for the support everyone-- I'm glad to hear others feel the same way sometimes, but that overall everyone is happy with the hair they have.

I love the way Wavycurly40+ frames it-- It's not that we are neither here nor there, but that we are both here and there. It's true-- I think we have the most versatile hair type. Now, if only I could figure out the mystery of what makes it decide to go one way or another on a given day!

It sounds based on your posts that most of the wavies with a mild identity crisis are wavies that do have a bit of curl. I wonder if the problem is that we have more shared experience (in terms of the challenges of dealing with our hair) with curlies than we do with the wavies described in the Curly Girl book. As great as CG is for wavies, Lorraine Massey doesn't seem to fully understand and appreciate our hair. The wavy section seems to be written for women with only a little bend or twist... At one point, Massey even says that wavies might have always seen themselves as having straight hair. Um, no, most of our hair never looked anywhere near straight! My hair looks more like the 3As than the "wavy" models in the book, and the struggles I've had are more similar to theirs. Maybe the book needs a new section for Wurly/Wavies?

You make some good points sbudsky. I love my whirls, but I think they are precisely what makes me have the more-more-more mentality. If I didn't have them and had a nice even S pattern, I probably wouldn't try so hard to make my hair something that it is not (curly).

At one point, Massey even says that wavies might have always seen themselves as having straight hair.

I'm not sure that most is correct, but this is true for many wavies. Most of those wavies won't find this site, because they have a weak curl pattern. They are unlikely to be searching for good flat irons or ways to control their wavy hair if their hair straightens easily and stumble across NC.com. I considered my hair straight and so did my wavy friend who is CG. I thought my hair was naturally fuzzy and my friend called hers naturally scraggly. We had nowhere near the moisture in our hair to make it look nice while wavy before going CG.

If anyone is interested in this topic in general, check out the thread "the woes of a wavy".

This is sort of a side thought, but I think these classification systems we use are all pretty arbitrary anyway. In the end, all hair falls somewhere on a continuum between straight and curly-- wavy hair is just loose curls. IMO, there are no natural categories, just ones that people create and try to fit themselves in to. Maybe if we could let go of caring about categories, more wavies could just accept their hair as is, rather than striving for 3-hood?

Yes! If I could just remember to tell myself every night "Hey! Some parts of your hair are spirally, and some parts are not. Wishing them to change won't do anything. Get over it." then I think I could finally come to terms with it.

Trying to describe a curl pattern using a system that I really don't fit into isn't helping, it just makes me want to be uniform one way or another (either 100% waves or 100% spirals).

This is sort of a side thought, but I think these classification systems we use are all pretty arbitrary anyway. In the end, all hair falls somewhere on a continuum between straight and curly-- wavy hair is just loose curls. IMO, there are no natural categories, just ones that people create and try to fit themselves in to. Maybe if we could let go of caring about categories, more wavies could just accept their hair as is, rather than striving for 3-hood?

Originally Posted by Sbudsky

+1

When someone asks me my type, I tell them I'm a 2b/c, because ... well, those are the two dominant types on my head. But really? I have everything from 2a to 3a. Today, I've got spirals right next to 2b waves. I've got a section in the back that's feeling really 2a today, and sections that are decidedly 2c.

But you know what? I don't care. My hair looks dang good, and I've gotten a few stranger compliments. I sometimes think I'd like more consistent hair, but really, I think my crazy and inconsistent hair suits my face and personality.