6 definitions
by
Craig Smyth

Lord Of Ring Damage. Term attributable to losing money while managing a trading portfolio, usually associated with fixed price commodities. Analogous to taking it up the butt, a painful experience that can lead to rectal dysfunction or anal damage.

Losing money on a stock portfolio, being dealt a poor hand of cards, a bad punt, a lost bet. Associated with any activity that loses money.

Ring Damage, the result of LORD (see separate definition) activity on a trading portfolio. Ring Damage is normally experienced the following morning & is a resultant of bouts of late night (& usually unsuccessful) outright trading. Ring Damage can become severe if the LORD activity goes unchecked. This may lead to long term & sometimes irreversible damage to the Ring. Ring damage can be insured for however.

Oh no, he was long & wrong again, that was LORD. We will see the ring damage shortly on our reports.

The resultant of 'LORD' (see seperate definition) activity leading to the next mornings' 'Ring Damage' (see seperate definition). Denial of Ring Tax is frequently apparent in habitual LORD traders. Unlike 'Ring Damage', Ring Tax cannot be insured for & must be paid. Like personal Tax, Ring Tax is calculated on an annual basis. Ring Tax cannot however be offset against other personal or corporate tax. It can however be somewhat hidden in larger trading portfolios in cetain instances. This can lead to further LORD activities leading to renewed Ring Damage resultant in further Ring Tax.

As in life where there are two certainties, LORD activity will certainly lead to Ring Tax. 'He was LORD last night, he must pay his tax'.

The correct acronym is 'FORD'.
Fellowship of Ring Damage. Gentry of an Antipodean background who form a friendship with a trader associated with large losses on his trading portfolio. Normally associated with regular late night drinking & arrivals in the office the next morning of a tardy nature.

Fellowship of Ring Damage. Gentry of an Antipodean background who form a friendship with a trader associated with large losses on his trading portfolio. Normally associated with regular late night drinking & arrivals in the office the next morning of a tardy nature.