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Top Ten Indicators of a Weak Economy

"Green shoots" or no, here are the Top Ten indicators that the economy is still weak:

10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank.
9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.
8. Obama met with small businesses - GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM, to discuss the Stimulus Package.
7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children’s names.
5. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
4. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
3. Motel Six won’t leave the lights on.
2. The Mafia is laying off judges.

And the #1 indicator that the economy still sucks:

1. If the bank returns your check marked as “insufficient funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.