Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Have you ever known someone who irks you to your very core and no matter what you do, you can’t seem to figure out why you remain friends with this person? I have, in fact I have someone in my life right now that fits this very profile. The trouble is I have no idea how to change the relationship with this person so that it works to benefit both of us, believe me I have tried all avenues to no avail. What I mean by “benefit” is keeping the relationship on happy grounds at all times, or most times. For my part, this requires a lot of compromising and holding back my opinions and to be honest it’s exhausting to say the least. On the occasions that I do speak out it irrupts into heated arguments where no doubt I’m painted out to be the worst person who has ever walked the plant so to avoid this I try to keep my thoughts to myself and attempt to just get along with this particular individual.

So how do you deal with a person like this? What if this person is your family member, your spouse or parent … What then? I don’t have any real suggestions because I’m still trying to figure it out myself. I can say that sometimes, even with loved ones we have to take what they say as a grain of salt, let them say what they want and even if it hurts let it go, like dust in the wind… I have learned that people like this will never change, they will never consider themselves as being wrong and even if you attempt to prove to them that they are, they are so delusional that they won’t get it.

In communicating with this kind of personality what I try to keep in mind that I’m dealing with someone who for the most part is egotistical, delusional and possibly lacking certain emotions that normal people have. Knowing this can help get me through these situations and if that doesn’t work, sometimes I just hum a little song in my head while they talk, tone them out and let them ramble on, believe me they will have no clue because they are not really focused on you but on what they are saying.