well, because i had to come from somewhere

10052009

I have an awesome mom. I really do. Earlier this week the roommate announced “I’m going to CVS to pick up mother’s day cards, do you want one?” and I said “Uh… no?” and stared quizzically into space, but that’s purely because we don’t really do cards in my family, and sending one this year would set the bar altogether too high, as well as setting my poor mother up for disappointment when the card giving only happens this one time. So me not buying my mother a card doesn’t reflect upon our relationship at all. Plus, had I sent her a card this year, she probably would have called me out on the fact that how did I had time to 1. buy it 2. sign it and 3. drop it in a collection box, when I should be spending all of my free time banging on the doors of retail stores begging them to employ me.

She’s a really great person and I end up being happy she gave birth to me almost every time I call her, with one exception, and that is when I call her and she just got back from a sporting event / will soon be going to a sporting event / is at a sporting event / is watching a sporting event, because she tends to forget that her daughter (who got out of taking PE in HS because she “danced”) doesn’t really care or understand any of that. And my mother will give me the play by play of the entire game / match / whatever the night before, with me sitting on the end of the line being extremely confused because I think she’s talking about baseball and she’s actually talking about volleyball or vice versa. And she’s actually said to me “remember that really good football player from Punahou?” at least twice. 1. I didn’t go to Punahou, and 2. even if I did, I seriously doubt I’d know what she was talking about. We don’t all listen to sports talk radio on our way to work, mom! She’s a sports fan, and I love her for it.

My mom is also awesome because she’s seen more Lifetime Original Movies than the people who probably star in the LOMs, and once while watching Little Miss Sunshine, she said “I think that guy [Paul Dano] was in a movie where he played a teen dad.” Yes he was. Nice catch! She also religiously watched Wildfire and we used to call each other during college to talk about that weeks episode of The OC. As a side note, it KILLS me that my mother is forced to live in a state where they do not have equal rights to television teen drama AKA Gossip Girl (no really, they seriously don’t have The CW). I KNOW that my mom would LOVE that show, almost as much as I do, and I really wish we could have weekly talks about how much of a tool Dan Humphrey is, and AREN’T YOU GLAD / LUCKY I WASN’T RIDICULOUS LIKE JENNY?. As it stands, I’ll just have to be content with her calling me randomly to recommend that I watch Sydney White, aka Snow White but in college and starring Amanda Bynes, who is one of the only people my mother and I love equally, before I assure her that not only have I already seen it, but I saw it in theaters and on opening night, so checkmate. But, apples and trees, as they say.

My mom is also amazing because one time senior year (of COLLEGE) when I was going to a We Are Scientists concert with Kristin, I told my mom I was at a show and she said “Let me guess, The Cheetah Girls?” Hahahhah NO, but I see what you did there and I’m glad you know who The Cheetah Girls are, MOM.

Mom, I know you are reading this, so I have your virtual mother’s day gift. Here it is. Also, let me know the next time you are online so I can send you all her albums. You’ll LOVE her. Also, I really think you would like Friday Night Lights. Watch an episode sometime.

3 responses

1) Why in the heck didn’t I see Sydney White with you? I feel like I was doing something else, like with Andy. There is no way in hell it was better than THAT movie. Honestly, what was I doing that night?! Oh well, I’ve probably seen it 3 or 4 times on HBO.

2) Oh The Cheetah Girl comment. That was good! They are like the 1 Hollywood Records artist we don’t listen to.