RUBY ROYAL

RUBY ROYAL

The Ruby Royal is ideal for guests who dare to have a completely different and exciting experience in an Arabian setting. The works of art in this suite are definitely not for the morally hypersensitive or prejudiced and therefore it is better to enquire about more detail before you decide to make a reservation. The bedroom tower has a four meter high mirrored ceiling. The throne chamber (toilet) boasts a tiara, mirrors, ‘ruby’ jewels and optical fibre lights (a place where there can be no secrets!). A spacious shower overlooking the plunge pool and indoor garden promises sheer enjoyment (please note that the Ruby Royal has no bath). The indoor plunge pool is heated to a playful temperature of 35 degrees Celcius. The ultimate private and romantic dinner for two is served inside the Ruby Suite garden area!! I am a sculptor and have embellished the Ruby with sculptures that can evoke laughter or disgust, depending on one’s view on life. One should not take the Ruby serious, it is a send-up!

There are mirrors in the bedroom ceiling.

The whole toilet is mirrored.

There is a penis fountain allowing water into the plunge pool (when needed/it does not run continuously).

There is a penis sculpture linked to a downpipe that allows rain water to drop onto some plants.

There is a bronze bum inside the Ruby bedroom, hanging against a wall.

There is a nude male torso next to the plunge pool and a red bra is tied around it. The red bra merely is a reminder to me of my greatest embarrassment thus far. Some guests once forgot to lock the Ruby entrance door and at the time I was doing a guided tour of the castle and had completely forgotten that there were guests in the Ruby. So when I opened the door, “Peter” and “Mary” were sitting at the pool, with no clothes on, in a compromising position. All were very shocked and all, at the end of their stay, courteously said good bye not mentioning the embarrassment … but she left her bra behind?

Some morally sensitive people complained about the two penises, so to balance their prejudice and to make sure they’ll definitely will not return, I’ve added 6 little flying vagina fairies suspended from the indoor garden roof.

The castle is next to a wetland, so one can expect the odd frog or spider to visit the indoor garden section of the Ruby. If this happens and you don’t like it, please notify us and we’ll remove them immediately.

Note: Please ensure that you have made a well-considered decision to stay in the Ruby. You will be requested to sign an agreement stating that in the event of, after arrival, you still or eventually are not satisfied with its contents you agree to pay outstanding monies or that, alternatively, you accept accommodation in one of the other five suites of the castle (depending on availability).