TRASHY GOSSIP

Gossip Trading Cards: Wanton Starlet

Lindsay Lohan's swinging lovelife could easily be mistaken for one of those trashy pulp fiction novels from the 50's and 60's. With her come-hither, yet dazed eyes, she's the perfect model of man eating temptress typically shown on the covers of lurid vintage paperbacks. Consider these actual titles...Born For Sin, Man Bait, or Lust is a Woman and imagine how natural Lindsay would look pictured on the cover.One can hardly keep up with reports of who she's dating, one week it's Brett Ratner and the next it's Bruce Willis. The most recent report claims she's moving to Europe because she's dating "several men over there." Once she's ravanged Europe, the little kitten on the prowl is sure to relocate to other continents in search of fresh prey. Medium: Acrylic on board, digital text.

To further my point, I scanned a random page from Lust in Orbit,
a 1963 title from my own collection of trashy vintage novels. After
reading this excerpt, one can easily picture Lindsay as the narrator.

Comments

Has anyone here ever heard her songs? Her song "Confessions of a Broken Heart" is INTENSE. That's some serious WAILING. I'm serious, You can hear it on music.aol.com (the whole song, no less) Hey, I like to pile on like the rest, but I can't believe no one ever mentions it. And no, I'm not a shill, my email there is for real.

OOO I love how you painted her hair 14! She actually looks pretty here although the eyes are those of a true nympho. The only way you could have made this better was if you drew residue of white powder under her nose.

Another cute little kid gets chewed up by the Fame Monster, then spit out in a viscous pulp of skeeze, makeup,and booze. Bet the film noir adaptation of your mock-pulp novel would beat the crap outta anything LiLo has appeared in since she was, well, too young to drive.

Again, at the risk of broken-record-dom, this one's fucking brilliant. Is there any art style or sub-genre you DON'T excel at? Christ on a Ritz with pimento.

hey you skyviewsatellite person, lighten up you crusty old grandpa. Fire Crotch is what all the kids are saying today and it's a term meaning sexy. You need to find your own fire crotch and get laid dude. The magic of the fire crotch just might rekindle your lost sense of humor.

I was more than happy to pile on the negative commments that Brandon Davis' video and your caricature of it invited. But now you use HIS slur in putting down Lohan? Even adding little flames in the background ("Fire - get it? Like fire crotch! Get it?") Were you one of the minority of of folks who thought Davis was hilarious? Why not go further and portray Lohan with a distended pudenda sprawled in her pathetic NY hotel? It was funny when Davis said it.

Here's a proposal; How about caricaturing Tucker Carlson for calling the alleged Duke rape victime a "crypto-hooker" and then you can do a crypto-hooker caricature of her! Hilarious.

It's still so hard to believe that this is the cute little girl from The Parent Trap remake (which my daughters still love to watch!)
And could someone please tell me, what the hell is a "fire crotch"?!?!

That's great - I can also see Lindsay on a moor, the wind whipping through her hair, clutching her torn bodice that was ripped as she was ravished by a plundering Highlander. Smut novel cover art.
BTW "...Once she's ravanged Europe..." - ravaged??