I'm working on Butterfly from the new Jane Ellison Noro Knits book, and started laughing so hard I was crying as I read the absurdly worded instructions for the sleeve and neckline shaping.

Here's how it sounded to me:Decrease one stitch at each end while decreasing two stitches in the middle of the next and each of 5 following 3rd and 4th rows, and also the 2nd rows, but only on the Sabbath and in the presence of the 2nd born of a litter of 4 kittens. AT THE SAME TIME, decrease 4 stitches on every 5th row for the next 30 rows while counting backwards from 354. You will have either 20 or 63 stitches left on your needle.

Let's be merciless and tell these pattern-writers exactly what we think of them!

I'm working on Butterfly from the new Jane Ellison Noro Knits book, and started laughing so hard I was crying as I read the absurdly worded instructions for the sleeve and neckline shaping.

Here's how it sounded to me:Decrease one stitch at each end while decreasing two stitches in the middle of the next and each of 5 following 3rd and 4th rows, and also the 2nd rows, but only on the Sabbath and in the presence of the 2nd born of a litter of 4 kittens. AT THE SAME TIME, decrease 4 stitches on every 5th row for the next 30 rows while counting backwards from 354. You will have either 20 or 63 stitches left on your needle.

Let's be merciless and tell these pattern-writers exactly what we think of them!

Did it really include the references to sabbath and kittens......come on you added that!

I just finished a cardigan with a very intricate diagonal aran design so I decided to choose a really simple pattern for my next project. It's a simple pullover with a cable down the center but the directions are horrible. And the math doesn't work out either. It was originally from a Swedish yarn company and I believe the pattern was poorly translated. That accounts for it being difficult to understand but that doesn't account for the math errors. I've started it 3 times now and am ready to throw in the towel.

Cast on 57 stitches using lefthanded fly fishing casting, unless you live at a ski resort, in which case you should use the cable car method. Knit twice into each third stitch, skipping stitches 1, 7, 11, and pink, being careful not to twist round. You should now have 15 stitches on your needle. Repeat from * until desired length is reached, unless you want it to be longer in which case bind off five stitches, then pick up four stitches along right edge. DO NOT TURN. Set oven for 350. Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around. Switch to smaller needle for rows 18, 23, 25, 19, 31, and 27. Check gauge. Knit in garter stitch using continental method ONLY, as any other way of knitting is WRONG and I will have to come arrest you for violation of Knitting Penal Code Section 14.2(a). Bind off using long-tail cast on method. Serves 4.

--Susan T-O in Long Beach CA

"He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression." --Thomas Paine

Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was owned by the town tycoon, a modernday scrooge. One day during the winter the lake froze over. The peddler realized that he could cut off 2 miles from his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted halfway across the lake by the tycoon. Scrooge came racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler, "Iíll be danged if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!"

Wish it was as funny in real life. I've been using my 'instant gratification key' (e-mail) to notify whomever I can find when a couple of patterns in the same book (mag.) are poorly written. And also when they are well done; in my opinion. I think feedback is important & poor workmanship is unacceptable when there's a price on it.

One who works with his hands is a laborer. With hands & head; a craftsman. With hands, head & heart an artist. (Paraphrase St. Francis of Assissi)

Every day a peddler pulled his cart of wool from his home to the village market. It was a long trip. He had to travel around the perimeter of a large lake that was owned by the town tycoon, a modernday scrooge. One day during the winter the lake froze over. The peddler realized that he could cut off 2 miles from his trip if he crossed over the lake. He was spotted halfway across the lake by the tycoon. Scrooge came racing out of his mansion and screamed at the peddler, "Iíll be danged if I let anyone pull the wool over my ice!"