For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14

Friday, April 15, 2011

What lead us here

What have we learned about history? It's HIS-story. I'd like to share a little more about how this journey came to be.

In November 2008 we found out we were expecting our 3rd child. After several ultrasounds which looked promising in the beginning, we learned the baby had stopped developing. I had a D&C in January. Over the next year we had several more miscarriages. We were sent to a genetics counselor because although we look normal on the outside something could be wrong with us, haha! Ok, maybe the Dr. didn't say it exactly like that.... We never suspected something would be wrong, especially given we had 2 perfectly healthy children. Just as we expected, all the tests came back normal. No answers. Unexplained losses. Our Dr. was very encouraging and urged us to keep trying. He thought for sure one pregnancy would be successful.

We stopped trying and left it in God's hands. In March 2010 we were once again expecting. Due December 17th - Rob's birthday. I thought for sure it was a sign. Our turn. At our first ultrasound at 6 weeks we saw a heartbeat. Never before had we seen a heartbeat, except with our 2 children. We were cautious yet very hopeful.

6weeks 0days

Thing's progressed normally, I was feeling sick and living on cereal. We had our next ultrasound at 10 weeks and we saw a little baby. We saw arms move and fingers wave.

10weeks 3days

We were elated for all of 2 hours. My Dr. called and said the ultrasound tech had noticed some fluid around the baby, possibly indicating down syndrome. He wanted to send us to a specialist to get a better idea of what may be going on. Because we had to get a referral and wait for an appointment we were not seen until 14 weeks. When we started the ultrasound I noticed something very wrong right away. There was a lot of fluid behind the neck and around the organs. We were told it was a girl and she most likely had turner syndrome - meaning she had only one x chromosome instead of 2. They did an amnio to confirm. Given her condition we were told she would not survive another month. We were heartbroken. After all we had been through and to finally make it this far...

Terminating was never an option. We would carry her as long as God would allow. We gave her the name Jewel - she was our precious gem. We talked about her often, prayed for her daily, and loved every minute with her. She lived 10 more weeks and was born still at 24 weeks exactly.

Jewel Allyn Lim
August 27th 2010

As our hearts were healing my prayers changed. I wanted what God wanted, whatever that was. I felt lead towards adoption and discussed it with Rob. We were discussing adopting through foster care but God had other plans. In January I felt the need to check this blog I had previously read but had not looked at in close to a year. When I went there I saw a recent post made about a little boy with down syndrome and a link to Reece's Rainbow. As I looked over the site and read the many stories of families that had adopted through them, my eyes were opened. I just never knew the dire circumstances these little ones lived every day. So many families are willing but who has $25-$30,000 to complete an international adoption? Not us. God showed me where our child was and He was about to show me a way. A week after finding Reece's Rainbow I was reading a fellow baby loss mommies blog - her husband is also in the military and they are also adopting. She mentioned briefly in one sentence about the $10,000 from their sons military life insurance policy. Anything after 20 weeks gestation is considered a life lost and therefore receives the money. I asked Rob if we were entitled to that with him being a reservist, not active duty. He made some calls and we were! Had I not been reading that mommies blog we would have never been aware of that money. No one had told us and nothing aside from that has ever been mentioned to us. I absolutely believe God wanted us to know about it and He wanted us to use it to redeem one of His lost little ones. Although it isn't the full amount of what is needed, it is a wonderful start. Allowing us to take a leap of faith we probably would not have taken otherwise.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

A story of beauty from ashes. God ordained. That lead us straight to her.

2 comments:

I do agree that God allows bad things to happen to us for a reason.I did notice that Kids to Adopt has a girl with Turner Syndrome on their site. Most of those babies are lost before birth, so people living with it is rare.I hope your adoption of little Ivy will go well.