Sunday, August 30, 2015

The following is a
status my husband posted on Facebook a year ago today:

August 30, 2014

Day 50 back at
University of Kentucky's Intensive Care Unit (ICU) with Bobbi. She's getting IV meds for her low blood pressure and
they need to start her back on short length hemodialysis. The Critical Decision
Unit ICU didn't have a bed available for dialysis (requires a water hookup) so
she's back where she started.
Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers for improvements in her condition.
Thanks again for everything.

Yes, I am very thankful to be alive today. I had a
rough 117 day in hell (my length of time in the hospital), but it is all in my
past. I no longer need dialysis because my kidneys are working on their own. My
diabetes and hypertension medications have been decreased due to unforeseen
weight loss.

I am still weak and I still need oxygen, but I can see tiny improvements every
day. I was told it may be a year before I regain all the strength and stamina I
lost while I was in the hospital, so I still have a ways to go, but I'll get
there.

Thank you to all my family and friends for the prayers, wishes and warm
thoughts sent my way. I know this helped my recovery and I will never be able
to repay everyone.

Friday, August 28, 2015

The past few refreshing
mornings have been wonderful! It is noticeably cooler with little to no humidity,
reminding me that summer is quickly fading and autumn is fast approaching. I love
having the windows open so the curtains blow in the breeze. I love the fresh,
crisp smells of the air, ruffling the pages of the manuscript I am working on.
It has felt good to be writing this week because it has taken my mind off my
illness

Some days will when I am fine, days
where I do not cry or have an uncontrollable urge to huddle in a little heap
and snarl at someone, days where I smile at the world and feel comfortable. Then
everything will suddenly change and the burning hole in my chest will burst
open, erupting and I suffocate, no matter how hard and how deep I try to
breathe. No matter how hard I try to protect myself against this feeling, it never
gets easier.

Life is not always warm and fuzzy, but I
have developed different coping mechanisms to get me through those moments and
carry on, carry on as if nothing is wrong….just carry on. There are days when
it really feels as if Lady Luck turned her back on me, where I cannot feel her
warm smile beam down on me. There are days where I battle with each step I take
and each breath I breathe, where I battle to remind myself that the sun will
shine again. It is times like these where I feel defeated, where it feels as if
all I do is in vain, where all I want to do is have a “pity me” party.

My mind is a babbling mess of
uncontrollable chaos. I wish there was just a small fraction of a moment where
I could escape the inner dialogue racing through my brain, to just leave
everything behind, forget about things that need to be done, forget about
responsibilities, just sit by myself and wallow in self-pity.

But I have so much to be thankful for,
so many reasons to rejoice. I am so lucky to be alive today, and even though I
know I still have a long way to go, I have to give myself some slack and not
get frustrated with my slow progress. Things could be a lot worse for me, so I
will take my rehab one step at a time, with grace and gratitude.

Hiding from the world,sealed away by choice;fearful of what?Heart palpitations, cold clammy sweat,feeling the world is out to get me,irrational thoughts won't go away.There's a safety in cloisterwith comfort items aroundin every pile of books you'll see,offering a calm serene.Many call it nesting,having treasured items within easy reach,but when this behavior continues onand interrupts your life,this nesting syndrome has gone too farand a solution must be found,only ...

rapid breathing takes over again,and the tightness in the chest returns,these aren't only mental ailments,but physical manifestations,so I hid from the world again.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Just when I should have beenhaving the time of my life,I thought I wasn't completeunless I hadthat one perfect someone to call my own.Instead of hanging out with my friends,I was caught in the loopof pleasing my man.My heart would beat faster as each class bell rang,knowing we could steal brief momentsfor kissing out in the hall.Scheduling our after school timeso we were always together,in hindsight was probably not the thing to do,but the excitement and joyand tummy butterflieswere a high we both sought to obtain.

Did the good outweigh the bad?Obviously it did because we ended up together,at least for a short time.The problem is, it wasn't enoughto satisfy that need we had deep down inside,the need for something more,something special to fulfill an aching need.So, we crashed and burned,down in flames in a magnificent bonfireof heated words,angry acquisitions,finger pointing andscreams.Two lives torn apart, two souls ripped asunder,but the fallout damage affected much moreand it would be years before the collateral was known.

Looking back, the path is quiet clear,even a child could see the course;so why was I too blind at the timeto not see the outcomewhen it was right before my eyes?I guess love really is blindand it has the ability to swoop inand steal our childhoods,give us tunnel vision,like the quest for the Holy Grail,tempt us with a happily ever after,yes, love is very easy to find,but much harder work to keep.

I
am a notorious note taker when it comes to reading books, but it's
because I want to remember so many things. Although I always read for
pleasure, almost all the books I read end up being reviewed. I have a
separate notebook I keep all the notes from books I'm reviewing. I also
am a huge fan of "sticky notes" so my books are usually crammed full of
them. This helps me when I'm looking for a specific passage I want to
use in a review.

When I started doing book reviews over 8 years
ago, it was mainly going to be a way for me to keep track of the 100s of
books I read every year. Before my illness, I was
receiving review books in the mail, especially from Kentucky Monthly Magazine. You don't know what a rush it is
for a "book whore" like me to find a box of books
on my doorstep!

For many years, I accepted any and all
offers to read and review books, but I learned this was not
going to work for me. I was getting such a wide variety of books I was
overwhelmed. Although I occasionally enjoy a self-help book on certain
topics, many of the books I received were just that. I was also
receiving many self-published books - which there is nothing wrong with -
but many of these books could do with a good editor.

I finally
realized I had bitten off more than I could chew - or read - so I quit
requesting every new book that came down the pipeway. Now I only review
books I think I will truly be interested in and my life is much happier
and not as hectic.

I have a great appetite for Kentucky
authors and I try to read all I can get my hands on. I just finished reading and reviewing Next Door to the Dead by Kathleen Driskell and Love & Ordinary Creatures by Gwyn Hyan Rubio. I am currently reading Kentucky's Everyday Heroes Vol. 4 by Steve Flairty and Haunt Couture and Ghost Galore by Rose Pressey.

I missed the 38th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death. The “King of Rock and Roll’s” died on August 16, 1977 at the age of 42. Since he was my mother's favorite singer, I thought it was worthwhile to post about him today.

Elvis began his career in Memphis, Tennessee in 1954 when
Sam Phillips, owner of Sun Records, wanted to bring “rockabilly” music to a wider audition. Rockabilly was a mixture of country, rhythm and blues with an
upbeat tempo. In 1955, RCA Victor bought out Elvis’ contract in a deal made by
Colonel Tom Parker, who would go on to manage Elvis’ career for over 20 years.

Elvis’ first RCA single, “Heartbreak Hotel”, was released in
January 1956 and was a number one hit. He soon became the face of rock and
roll, appearing in a series of network television appearances and more
chart-topping records. He made his first movie, “Love Me Tender” was released
in November 1956.

In 1958, Elvis was inducted into the U.S. Army at Fort
Chaffee in Arkansas. The Army was not prepared for the onslaught of people
descending upon Elvis as he stepped off the bus at the Army base. He was soon
sent to Fort Hood, Texas to begin his basic training. In August, Elvis received
word his mother had been diagnosed with hepatitis, and he was granted an
emergency leave to visit her. She died on August 14 from heart failure – she
was only 46 years old. Elvis took her passing very hard because he had always
been close to his mother.

In October 1958, Elvis joined the 3rd Armored Division in
Friedberg, Germany. It was here that he first met 14-year old Priscilla
Beaulieu. After a seven and a half year romance, they finally married.

Elvis returned to the United States in March, 1960, and was
honorably discharged with the rank of sergeant. Once back in Memphis, Elvis
jumped right into the recording studio. Sessions in March and April produced
two of his best-selling singles, the ballads “It’s Now or Never” and “Are You
Lonesome Tonight?”

From 1960 to 1967, Colonel Parker pushed Elvis more in the
direction of movie making than producing albums. “G.I. Blues” was the first
movie Elvis made after leaving the Army and the soundtrack album went to number
one. Of Elvis’ movies in the 1960s, 15 were accompanied by bestselling
soundtrack albums.

Elvis’ only child, Lisa Marie, was born in February, 1968.
This was during a period of his life when he was very depressed and unhappy
with his career. Singles released between January 1967 and May 1968 never made
it past 40 on the top chart lists and his album “Speedway” never made it past
number 82.

Elvis and his young wife were having increasing martial
problems and eventually separated in February, 1972. In January 1973, Elvis
performed the groundbreaking TV special, Aloha From Hawaii. This special was the first global concert satellite broadcast, reaching
approximately 1.5 billion viewers live and on tape delay. His elaborate concert
costumers were so elaborate, that Kentucky author Bobbie Ann Mason is quoted as
saying, “At the end of the show, when he spreads out his American Eagle cape,
with the full stretched wings of the eagle studded on the back, he becomes a
god figure.” The accompanying double album was released the next month and went
straight to number one, eventually selling over 5 million copies in the United
States.

After his divorce, Elvis became heavily dependent on
barbiturates, resulting in several hospital admissions. He began missing
concerts and many times when he did appear on stage, he was incoherent and kept
his performances short.

Elvis was scheduled to fly out of Memphis on the evening of
August 16, 1977, to start another tour, but that afternoon he was discovered
unresponsive on his bathroom floor. All attempts to revive him failed, and he
was officially pronounced dead at 3:30 pm at Baptist Memorial Hospital.
President Jimmy Carter issued a statement that credited Presley with having
"permanently changed the face of American popular culture".

During his recording career, Elvis made a total of 20 number
one albums and 37 number one singles. As my Momma’s favorite singer, she loved collecting anything that had to do with Elvis, from dolls to figurines to plates.

About Me

I am a married mother of 3 grown daughters and I have 2 granddaughters and 1 grandson. I currently have a gardening column in the Sunday's Advocate Messenger and I freelance for Kentucky Monthly magazine and Examiner.com.