i recently took a short visit back to my myspace account (myspace is dead, facebook killed it) just to see how's it going. been looking up on old friends' profile and some hot-chicks-wannabe's profiles :) . a lot has changed. the feeling back then was like, revisiting a great place you once loved yet now, everything about it will just inflict emptiness.
blah blah blah. these are not the main reasons why i am posting this. the reason why is that i was checking my profile and i remembered that i have posts in my blog section. i took a peek to relive those moments where i was still eager and passionate about poetry and love. this poem below was written for my last ex-girlfriend. things get cloudy and messy around us since i'm in unisel, but i'm not sure if i'm to blame.

Dear Shorty,

I got something to share,
It's not much,
Or nothing less than,
3 words,
Or perhaps more,
And even more.
Read on,
Understand me later on.

I got something to hide,
From you,
It's the amount,
Of inks and papers,
Drawn out in order to write,
Everything about you,
Drawn out,
To create something new,
But I need more from you.
Words are nothing,
And so it seems,
So am mine.
I guess.

I got something to kept,
Away from you,
It's my heart,
But I can't,
Cause U already have it,
It's in your grasp,
And I don't blame you.
U're just the one...
I guess.

I got something,
Far beyond words,
It's inside me,
Yet it vanished,
At the very sight of you,
They're gone.
I stuttered at your touch,
I stumbled upon your whispers,
I leaped at your presence,
And I fell deep with your absence.
It's that something you,
Have in you,
Your soul.
I guess.

You're mine,
I guess.

I got something,

To tell you,
Im worrying over,
the days spent,
the words spoken,
the truth told,
the lies been kept,
the feelings 'shared',
the kisses blown,
and the hugs that bind,
are only astrays,
fake imitations of ourselves.
You'll never understand this,
Not even a word.
I guess.

To let you know,

That I've been dying to reach you,
But you're no longer there,
Not even when I needed u the most,
Even when I'd dived for us.

That my words are perhaps,
Just plain rubbish,
And my bare existence doesn't afflict at u at all,
How am I feeling.
I've been off-coursed,
I know this is hard,
I know we're not the same,
I've been writing on a short mind,
I can't help it,
But I'm shouting this out,
And answers are not that I seek,
Proof;
Is all I want.
I guess.

I have nothing,
I guess,
To write more in order to let you know,
That I miss our old days,
Talking on the phone for hours,
Texting regardless of situations,
(well at least for me,it was)
Being there for you no matter what,
Holding your hands in mine,
Lulling you to sleep,
Carrying you,
Hearing you whisper,
3rd August,
You said you wanna be here,
With me,
In my ups and downs,
I could care less anymore,
With anyone other than you,
I guess.

I have something,
In desperate to reach you,
To tell you,
To let you know,
That. . .

I miss you every possible second there was,
I miss you the way you were,
I miss you as if you're no longer here,
I miss you,
I miss you,
I miss you,
Raja Nor******* Binti Raja S*********,
Cause there's not even a single clue,
On how am I supposed to go on without you.
what to do if I am to sleep without you,
What will you be without me.?

I need not answers,
Not explainations,
Not words,
Not more,
Not less,
Than a proof,
Tell me. . .

Are you loving me for real.?

'cause i love you,
I don't wanna lose,
Any of you.!

I Love You Baby

(i'm not sure why this failed at winning her heart back :P. 'Dear Atero Bores' is the title of it. Atero Bores is a name that i used to call her. only she and me know the exact story behind it. i won't have her name leaked, 'cause though we're not even friends anymore, i still know how to respect people. haha xD )