Month: May 2010

Welcome to another edition of the AM Times. The last couple of weeks have been very eventful : ). We have got for you a cemetery full of dead bodies, wars, return of a legend and as always an interview followed by the joke of the week.

Legend V.

Legend

All was silent on the once chaotic streets of down town New York city, but suddenly, without warning the silence of the night was engulfed in a cloud of massive explosions and an iron curtain of hot lead screaming threw the Chilly midnight air!

Reports say that the fighting was brought on by the legendary Mr_Xela and his RHM of the Corleone Crime Family. After peace was restored to New York we caught up with Benny, who was very shaken up by the whole thing saying, I had just to lay down for the night and suddenly the room exploded into flying shrapnel, why did this happen? Early the next morning Benny and his Gambinoâ€™s laid heavy fire on the retreating Corleones while Benny was duelling with twin Thompsons screaming, you f**k with me you f**k with da best!!!!!!

After there was peace between the families we found out medium_girlâ€™s, see previous articles, son is back and was planning the destruction of these families from the beginning. Her sons return has caused uproar in the mafia world, the bosses locking down on the members they recruit into their family. Amp-Bo, a don in the Corleone Crime Family, has been looking in to medium_girl and her son, Augustus, narrowing it down to a few suspects.

We will not be putting the names of the suspects in the AM Times due to not enough evidence. Stay tuned for updates, we feel that this isnâ€™t the last we have heard of Augustus.

Story co-written by TheRuthlessKing and LexiRae

Interview With A Godfather

Thanks for sitting down with me, TheRuthlessKing. Congratulations on reaching Godfather.

Thank you, glad to be here and see youve been working on writing stories.

What do you think it takes to reach Godfather?

Ive told my friends hard work is the key, but all of them have been doing that and nothing so I am not sure anymore….. it only took me a month to make it here.

Do you think the people that are Godfathers now deserve to have their rank?

Hell ya they do, if they did not then they would not be godfathers. No one gives you the rank, if they do then I wasted countless hours and im going to be pissed.

What is your view on the recent war between Benny and Xela?

To tell you the truth it was a real adrenalin rush with a side of not wanting it to happen. But I think, this is just my opinion, but I think after Alex died a lot of people got upset not at just Benny but at Alex as well for the war starting over what it did. All it did was weaken the AMFU and kill a good friend. But all so I think a lot of outburst and threats between the families led to the fighting. Words are stronger then a gun as we learn this from our daily lives 😉

Are you scared of the recent discovery that medium_girl’s son is back and out for revenge?

O ya im scared s**t less about hearing she could be back… (lol)

No im not scared about hearing shes back it lets me and others get revenge for back stabbing Alex and the back stabbing it sounds like she did to Paulie as well. Also for making the war bigger then what it had to be. I hope she shows up on our radar soon so we can lay her to rest in my handy coffin 😉

And what do you think of the AMFU and its recent state?

I think we need to change some rules in it, in the past look at how many families where in it, look at it now….. They did not all die of natural causes im sure. ;P (lol) If we want the AMFU to survive, we need to fix our mistakes so it never happens again.

Thanks again for sitting down for me, good luck in the future and get back to work 😛

Well since your holding the gun I really had no choice in sitting huh? (lol)

Thanks I planned to get back to work before my kidnapping I mean interview…..

Cemetery Report

ITS_ME was an Earner from the Corleone Crime Family. He was killed on the 09-05-2010. No one has any leads on the killer at this point.

Joker632 was a Goomba from the Gambino Crime Family that asked to be killed because he was not cut out for the life of a gangster. May his son return and make his father proud. Silvio_Dante was a boss with his own family that was found dead on the 16-05-2010.

Silvio was killed by paulie_goateare, Silvio was said to have been jealous of paulie and killed one of his members.

Paulie_goateare was another family leader that was killed this fortnight. At first no one knew who killed paulie until Augustus came forward and he was behind the killing.

Frank__Gambino a former member of the Gambino Crime Family was the State Governor in New York. Frankâ€™s killer is still running free but we are still on the lookout so if you have any information send it to any member of the AM Times.

Joe_Bonanno and gaspare were other members of the Gambino Crime Family to die lately. Joe and gaspare were allegedly involved in the killing of -_-xXx-_-, a close friend of Benny__Noodles and Don__Barzziniâ€™s son.

Vito_Pagillo a Goomba from the Gambino Family, a common theme lately, was killed due to him killing others, paybacks a b***h.

Sasin was an unknown gangster with no family. We are not sure of his killer at this moment. Dr_weed was shot dead after attempting to kill leader of The Monster Alliance, kross_. He also started a family without permission.

Checo3 an Earner from the Corleone Crime family was killed on the 20-05-2010. He was accused of having a dupe, Lil_Val, which he used to hustle people out of money.

Another family leader, Salvatore_Tommasino, was found dead recently. He was said to be involved with medium_girl and Augustus. No one knows exactly who killed Salvatore and im sure this will be one of those cases no one will be able to figure out.

Joke Of The Week

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, we only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks! So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man! The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity? The guy says, I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!

Joke

Submitted By Paige-B

Chamber Of Commerce

Top Business Owners

LexiRae 5

Benny__Noodles 5

Kross_ 4

Mr_Xela 4

Somehobo606 3

Administrator 3

Kid-blasto 2

Thunder 2

-Tolly- 1

This raps up another messy fortnight in the Mafia world. The joke of the week is still going so dont forget to send those jokes in people. Don’t miss me to much America. Till next time.

Welcome to another edition of the AM Times. The last couple of weeks have been very eventful : ). We have got for you a cemetery full of dead bodies, wars, return of a legend and as always an interview followed by the joke of the week.

Legend V.

Legend

All was silent on the once chaotic streets of down town New York city, but suddenly, without warning the silence of the night was engulfed in a cloud of massive explosions and an iron curtain of hot lead screaming threw the Chilly midnight air!

Reports say that the fighting was brought on by the legendary Mr_Xela and his RHM of the Corleone Crime Family. After peace was restored to New York we caught up with Benny, who was very shaken up by the whole thing saying, I had just to lay down for the night and suddenly the room exploded into flying shrapnel, why did this happen? Early the next morning Benny and his Gambinoâ€™s laid heavy fire on the retreating Corleones while Benny was duelling with twin Thompsons screaming, you f**k with me you f**k with da best!!!!!!

After there was peace between the families we found out medium_girlâ€™s, see previous articles, son is back and was planning the destruction of these families from the beginning. Her sons return has caused uproar in the mafia world, the bosses locking down on the members they recruit into their family. Amp-Bo, a don in the Corleone Crime Family, has been looking in to medium_girl and her son, Augustus, narrowing it down to a few suspects.

We will not be putting the names of the suspects in the AM Times due to not enough evidence. Stay tuned for updates, we feel that this isnâ€™t the last we have heard of Augustus.

Story co-written by TheRuthlessKing and LexiRae

Interview With A Godfather

Thanks for sitting down with me, TheRuthlessKing. Congratulations on reaching Godfather.

Thank you, glad to be here and see youve been working on writing stories.

What do you think it takes to reach Godfather?

Ive told my friends hard work is the key, but all of them have been doing that and nothing so I am not sure anymore….. it only took me a month to make it here.

Do you think the people that are Godfathers now deserve to have their rank?

Hell ya they do, if they did not then they would not be godfathers. No one gives you the rank, if they do then I wasted countless hours and im going to be pissed.

What is your view on the recent war between Benny and Xela?

To tell you the truth it was a real adrenalin rush with a side of not wanting it to happen. But I think, this is just my opinion, but I think after Alex died a lot of people got upset not at just Benny but at Alex as well for the war starting over what it did. All it did was weaken the AMFU and kill a good friend. But all so I think a lot of outburst and threats between the families led to the fighting. Words are stronger then a gun as we learn this from our daily lives 😉

Are you scared of the recent discovery that medium_girl’s son is back and out for revenge?

O ya im scared s**t less about hearing she could be back… (lol)

No im not scared about hearing shes back it lets me and others get revenge for back stabbing Alex and the back stabbing it sounds like she did to Paulie as well. Also for making the war bigger then what it had to be. I hope she shows up on our radar soon so we can lay her to rest in my handy coffin 😉

And what do you think of the AMFU and its recent state?

I think we need to change some rules in it, in the past look at how many families where in it, look at it now….. They did not all die of natural causes im sure. ;P (lol) If we want the AMFU to survive, we need to fix our mistakes so it never happens again.

Thanks again for sitting down for me, good luck in the future and get back to work 😛

Well since your holding the gun I really had no choice in sitting huh? (lol)

Thanks I planned to get back to work before my kidnapping I mean interview…..

Cemetery Report

ITS_ME was an Earner from the Corleone Crime Family. He was killed on the 09-05-2010. No one has any leads on the killer at this point.

Joker632 was a Goomba from the Gambino Crime Family that asked to be killed because he was not cut out for the life of a gangster. May his son return and make his father proud. Silvio_Dante was a boss with his own family that was found dead on the 16-05-2010.

Silvio was killed by paulie_goateare, Silvio was said to have been jealous of paulie and killed one of his members.

Paulie_goateare was another family leader that was killed this fortnight. At first no one knew who killed paulie until Augustus came forward and he was behind the killing.

Frank__Gambino a former member of the Gambino Crime Family was the State Governor in New York. Frankâ€™s killer is still running free but we are still on the lookout so if you have any information send it to any member of the AM Times.

Joe_Bonanno and gaspare were other members of the Gambino Crime Family to die lately. Joe and gaspare were allegedly involved in the killing of -_-xXx-_-, a close friend of Benny__Noodles and Don__Barzziniâ€™s son.

Vito_Pagillo a Goomba from the Gambino Family, a common theme lately, was killed due to him killing others, paybacks a b***h.

Sasin was an unknown gangster with no family. We are not sure of his killer at this moment. Dr_weed was shot dead after attempting to kill leader of The Monster Alliance, kross_. He also started a family without permission.

Checo3 an Earner from the Corleone Crime family was killed on the 20-05-2010. He was accused of having a dupe, Lil_Val, which he used to hustle people out of money.

Another family leader, Salvatore_Tommasino, was found dead recently. He was said to be involved with medium_girl and Augustus. No one knows exactly who killed Salvatore and im sure this will be one of those cases no one will be able to figure out.

Joke Of The Week

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, we only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks! So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man! The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity? The guy says, I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!

Joke

Submitted By Paige-B

Chamber Of Commerce

Top Business Owners

LexiRae 5

Benny__Noodles 5

Kross_ 4

Mr_Xela 4

Somehobo606 3

Administrator 3

Kid-blasto 2

Thunder 2

-Tolly- 1

This raps up another messy fortnight in the Mafia world. The joke of the week is still going so dont forget to send those jokes in people. Don’t miss me to much America. Till next time.

Sorry for the late edition folks but you know how controlling kross_ gets ; ) but its time for another edition of the AM Times and its been another silent week in America as of late but we know there is no such thing as silence in the mafia world.

Corleone Crime Family

The Corleone Crime Family, originally run by Don__Vito, now run by Mr_Xela, is the only original family left. With almost 60 members, 2 Godfathers and 1 Don they are the strongest family in America but also respected. The Corleones are also one of the founding members of the AMFU, American Mafia Families Union, the largest Union every created in America. The Corleones are a family that are strong believers in peace and unity. Mr_Xela was the mentor of now famous Benny__Noodles, Godfather of the Gambino Crime Family and New York with quotes from Noodles saying, that he will be in an alliance with Xela for life and he has the most respect for X and the Corleones. I think that goes for many other people, past and present. KevinK, the Corleones right hand man, said, Xela has helped me from day one, teaching me the ropes and still giving me advice, thats probably the same story for many other people as well.

Thugs Killings Boom

Lately the amount of thugs being killed has skyrocketed, the cemetary is full of unknown, unclaimed bodies. These killings have been happening all over America, there have only been a few states not hit by this wave of murder. There is no one family or person to blame for these killings but what we do know is that no thug is safe. The main cities hit are California, Michigan, Nevada, Oklahoma and a few cases in Florida and Texas so thugs, try to avoid these cities at all costs. We wont to know why. Is it for rank? Is it to clear the streets? I guess we will never know. Here at the AM Times we do not condone killing but we know there is no stopping the killers so please try and reduce the amount of innocent souls you take.

Interview With A Governor

Thank you for sitting down with me Governor PurpleHighlighter. How does it feel to be Governor of Nevada?

Thanks for dragging me out of bed for this Lexi : ). Its ok I guess, it can get boring sometimes but yellow is a pretty colour so im happy to stay.

What do you think of all the inactive killings lately?

As long as the killing stays out of Nevada im fine with it. Nevada is a place for getting drunk, loosing all your money gambling and trying to explain it to your partner the next day, not killing.

Will you continue to be Governor?

As long as the people of Nevada are willing to have me I am happy to stay. A quote I think goes well with this, people plant in the spring and leave in the summer. If you’re signed up for a season, see it through. You don’t have to stay forever, but at least stay until you see it through.

What do you say to your opponent for the up coming election, CWhite?

I wish him the best of luck, if he is right for the job then he is more then welcome to have it.

And lastly what do you think of the AMFU?

I think it was a great idea to come up with the AMFU, it reduces killings and gives new players a chance to learn the ropes and rank up. But it also creates boredom, with no one to kill there isnâ€™t much to do.

Thanks again for doing the interview with me, you can go back to bed now.

Thanks Lex.

Cemetary Report

A Wiseguy from the Gambino Family Trish has died on the 28-04-2010. No one has any leads yet, this has been a popular theme for many killings lately.

Another member of the Gambino Family has died. A Capo named MR_MAN attacked yours truly, donâ€™t worry im perfectly fine, causing me to take action and kill him on the spot. We earlier found out that his father was, TREVO_THE_BOY, killed for also attacking a member without permission (it must run in the family).

Gambino must be the flavour of the month for the killers as yet another family member was killed. A Goomba John-Gotti was also attacking without permission. These killings were probably a result of the absence of family leader Benny__Noodles, now back on the scene and I think I can speak for Benny when I say these will stop.

Joke Of The Week

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you’re afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he’s gentle like he promised he’d be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he’s done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it’s too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

What were you thinkin?

Joke submitted by paraphilia

Chamber Of Commerce Top Business Owners

LexiRae 5

Mr_Xela 5

thunder 5

Benny__Noodles 5

somehobo606 3

kid-blasto 2

kross_ 1

Donâ€™t forget to read the new edition of the Tabloid. Donâ€™t miss me too much America, till next time.