Well, she’s probably pretty useless considering she’s squirming around in a onesie bathing suit and freaky disco goggles while taking phone calls. Plus, that big condom hat over her ears must make it pretty hard to hear.

Thanks for calling Synchronized Disco Swim Freaks, how may I direct your call?

So, I think the photographer is trying to illustrate two fugitive kneecaps wearing disguises, while still wearing the standard penitentiary stripes. Duh, stupid kneecaps, you need a trench coat or something or the warden is gonna get you! Dumb ass kneecaps.

The image title is, ahem, “stock-photo-two-young-women-wear-gas-masks-connected-to-each-other-for-a-unique-photograph”. I smell a Lifetime original movie. Or maybe I just smell someone else’s breath attached to my face by a hose. Maybe Lifetime will sponsor the Human Centipede sequel.