Lucky Ex-NYC Cop Fed Pot Meatballs

An ex-NYC counterterrorism cop who was suspended and ultimately fired for failing a drug test is claiming his wife laced a meatball recipe with pot because she thought his job would kill him or something. He's using that excuse in a suit he's just filed against the NYPD, which will either continue to not give a shit or start not giving a new shit in response.

The 22-year veteran cop, Anthony Chiofalo, was suspended without pay in November 2005 after a random drug screening and eventually fired in August of this year. As per usual, the [kindly wife who cared for her family's well being] set him up!

During an investigation, Chiofalo's wife, Catherine Chiofalo, said she secretly put enough marijuana for about six cigarettes in her meatball recipe in July 2005, hoping a failed blood test would force him to retire, court papers say.

She said she'd been upset with him for not retiring after serving 20 years, as he originally said he would, according to the New York Post.

Catherine Chiofalo, according to court papers, testified at the hearing that she "just wanted my husband not to die of a heart attack or get killed. I wanted him to be around to help raise my son."

Ooh ooh, and I also wanted the lawsuit money we'd eventually get for wrongful extermination of employment, even though this story is completely made up! Wait... I mean... not made up at all.