I’d like to sound off about your outrageous policy of allowing people to say what they think, learn how to pick and choose between funeral “professionals,” deal with end-of-life issues, and generally think for themselves. The consequences for our profits could be disastrous, and I am already in discussion with our lawyers about your deeply offensive independence and integrity. We didn’t get where we are today, young man, without a lot of black crepe, large black cars and plenty of euphemisms.
We remain, sir,
A Very Large National Chain.