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>Parenting Resolutions.

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions!

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we’re writing about how we want to parent differently — or the same — in the New Year. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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This year I really would like to focus on being more mindful of my children.I want to learn to be in the moment with them. They are growing up so fast.Instead of focusing on days, months and years, I’m going to be in the here and now.I’m going to focus on each individual interaction with them.Those precious moments when they come to hug me and say “I love you mommy”When we are snuggled on the couch, I’m not going to worry about the laundry I think I must do today. The laundry will be there tomorrow. I’m not promised that my children will be.

I’m going to quit wondering when Nakiah will be able to fall asleep on her own. There will come a time when she won’t need or want our help getting to sleep. I’ll look back and wish we could go back to the days she needed us more.After all, She does entertain us with stories about her day.I’m also going to quit being jealous that she is a daddy’s girl. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love me.

I’m going to quit worrying about Ava turning three. She won’t be for several more months. That’s causing me to miss out on right now. I don’t want to look back and say “I wish I had not worried about this or that so much.”Today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow, why worry about something that hasn’t come up yet. It’s wasted time and energy.

I feel that with each child I grow more as a mother and a person, but am I really giving my best?If I’m honest with myself, the answer is sometimes. Nakiah and Ava don’t deserve a sometimes mom. They need me to be present at ALL times, and I want to be.Some might say that is impossible, but is it really? I don’t think so. Today we made chocolate chip cookies. I enjoyed that time with them so much! Watching them crack eggs and stir, the look on their faces as all of the ingredients came together. It’s simple for me, but it was an amazing learning experience, and fun for them. I want to create more moments like those with them. Not so I can teach them something, but because they are my girls and I love and adore them.

It’s about moments, interactions, the memories I’ll cherish forever.I couldn’t wait to become a mommy. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I always said “when I grow up, I want to have a lot of kids and be able to stay home with them”God has given me that opportunity, and I don’t want to mess it up. Will I make mistakes? I’m human so yes I will, but instead of beating myself up over it, and feeling sorry for myself, I’ll learn and move on.

I am so grateful for our Attachment Parenting, Unschooling lifestyle. It is very healing for me, and I see how much closer our family is. I will admit that when Nakiah was first born, I was so scared to put her in our bed. I was afraid to nurse in public, I worried about how to discipline her as she got older. The first moment I did put her in bed with us, we all slept so much better! We talked about how it just felt right to have her so close to us.I also slowly became more and more comfortable nursing in public. I loved how positive discipline helped everyone in the family. It also felt good!

Over time I became more and more comfortable with the choices we were making. That led to Ava’s homebirth, and extended breastfeeding. We are growing together, and I love that.Unschooling has taught us to truly trust in our children.I am so excited to dive deeper into the unschooling lifestyle. I look forward to watching our children learn from living.Unschooling has taught me how to accept my children for who they are, not who I think they should be.I’ll walk at their pace more often, really listen when they talk, stop what I’m doing instead of saying “I’ll be there in five minutes” I’m going to hug, kiss and cuddle them more.Yes I already do all of these things, but can you give too many hugs and kisses?

I look forward to babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, unschooling, and cloth diapering, another angel that God has chosen to bless us with.This year I am going to run with having the best job on earth, being a mother.

I don’t ever want to get to a place where I feel like I can’t grow or change anymore.

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19 thoughts on “>Parenting Resolutions.”

>There have many times lately when I stop and remind myself to be in the moment with my son. He won't be an infant forever and soon I'll be wistfully nostalgic about the times when he needed me so completely. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. We all need that little reminder from time to time.

>Oh my, what a beautiful family you have! It's so great that you're taking time to just be more present with your girls. I struggle to do that, too. I'm constantly amazed at how quickly they are growing.

>Love it! I am hopping over from SITS. It's so hard sometimes to realize we need to be "present" more with our kids. I have 3 also and life just gets so hectic it seems. What a gorgeous family you have!

>We are an unschooling family, too. I think lately I've been stopping what I've been doing and listening to my kids better and I'm glad about that (it was one of my resolutions). But I haven't spent much time with them and I need to do that. I find it hard to balance my desire for a somewhat picked up and clean house and spending time with the kids. I feel like cooking, cleaning, and picking up is almost a full time job. So I try to relax about the "mess." I don't want to pick up all the toys right away, as soon as they are done as that seems to limit creativity and opportunities…. and yet I want to be able to walk without tripping or breaking toys. So I guess what I really need is to find my balance. Isn't it hard at times? :)craphead

>What a beautiful tribute to your passion, truly. Being present is a gift (no pun intended) and it's something every mother struggles with. We need to give ourselves a break, back off the idea that mothers need to have everything perfect, and remember that we are only human and it's our heart that matters most, not our To Do List.Thanks for reminding me to slow down, too.

>Boy, could I relate to this post, especially this, I'm afraid: "[I want to] stop what I'm doing instead of saying "I'll be there in five minutes" I'm going to hug, kiss and cuddle them more." I've often said you find a strange dichotomy in motherhood. The days can seem so long, but the years are short. I want to savor the "now" with my kids. Cliche, maybe, but it makes for a happier, more peaceful life. Blessings to you and your beautiful family!

>Oh my, what a beautiful family you have! It's so great that you're taking time to just be more present with your girls. I struggle to do that, too. I'm constantly amazed at how quickly they are growing.

>It appears that a general theme of mindfulness is unfolding from a few of these posts. Yours was said beautifully. I can relate to so much of what you said. It's true that just stopping and inviting our children to join us in our work and being present with them works wonders for us feeling like better parents and for our children feeling loved.

>There have many times lately when I stop and remind myself to be in the moment with my son. He won't be an infant forever and soon I'll be wistfully nostalgic about the times when he needed me so completely. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. We all need that little reminder from time to time.

>Gorgeous post; I love this "I don't ever want to get to a place where I feel like I can't grow or change anymore." That is so awesome; good luck to you mama with your 2010 goals :)Warm wishesRae (aka mrs green @littlegreenblog.com)

>That was so touching and inspiring! I love the vision you paint of unschooling, which is something we're considering. I love the idea of just being and accepting and being present. Thank you for this reminder to live with such joy!

>That was so uplifting and a great reminder to us all to stop and be in the moment. I too feel that I'm running ahead of myself – our kids are wonderful at reminding us to slow down and see the beauty in every moment :)Warm wishesRae aka Mrs Green @ littlegreenblog.com