A twenty-something French girl in America. Advice on love, life, dating, money and more.

Tag: love

“Where are you Elsy?” one blog follower wrote in this morning. “It’s coming up to two weeks and no one has heard a peep from you!” It’s true. I’m actually pretty sad I’ve missed Q&A Wed along with missing my personal deadline for when to post about certain aspects of a SD/SB relationship. I’ve not been able to sift through the emails I get daily, or respond to posts. It’s been driving me insane personally.

But why have I been absent?

If you remember awhile a go I talked about Objection suggesting we move in together. Although I was delighted at his offer, I was also handling it with caution. You never know what the future holds, frankly, and I didn’t want to be put in a situation that I’d end up regretting. I was faced with two situations and that in itself became a hot topic with my friends and I. My friend encouraged me to take the leap of faith into the relationship. They know Objection, they love him, he’s kind enough too them, charming and funny. However, I wasn’t completely invested in the idea. What if something happened between us and we ended up on the rocks. Where would I go? What would I do? I have a lot of savings, but staying in a hotel for X amount of time while finding a new apartment didn’t seem like my idea of fun. Of course, there is the chance Obj, and I won’t ever break up, but, why count my chickens before they all hatch? It worried me because although Obj. and I have been together for a long time, we’ve never really been a GF/BF couple. To be fair, it isn’t a lot different than how it was before, but still. I wanted to play it safe.

My eventual choice? I told Objection that I didn’t want to move in with him because I didn’t like feeling like I didn’t have a back up plan and I didn’t want to lose my apartment. Maybe that’s selfish of me, but I’m a very steady person and I like to always have an option B. So Objection, in turn, offered to pay for the next year of my lease. If I still feel the same in a year, he would renew the lease again, but he would also love it if we found our own apartment. Right now, my apartment is 100% paid for as of the 14th of Nov. This also means. Yes, Obj and I have decided to move in together.

Since the 14th, on our breaks from lunch, after work, or days off, we’ve been able to look at some amazing apartments, and although it’s soon, and we haven’t seen as many as I wish we would have, there are two specific ones that have me head over heels in love. One rental and one for actual sale. One is in the Upper East Side, another in Murray Hill. Right now we’re both trying as hard as poss. to get the apt in the Upper East Side though. Objection will be buying it however… Which is one of the reasons I was so reluctant to move in with him at first, because I knew this would be the kind of arrangement we’d have, however, with the back up plan of my own apartment in my own name not far away, it makes me breath a little easier.

Window shopping for furniture has been fun also. Already have a few pieces on hold. With Thankgiving coming up, as well as Objection and I going to France, it may be until January until I get back into the full swing of things! However, I haven’t forgotten about any of you, and I’ve missed you all! Hopefully I’ll be able to post Q&A / a new How To post later tonight, or even tomorrow morning, but right now, I’ve got to meet up with Obj. and hopefully make an offer on this home!

Have an opinion? I’d love to hear it. Take the poll… You can anonymously comment on it too. 🙂 I love hearing you girls’ opinions!

I recently received a message from a sugar baby asking for help. She’d fallen in love with her sugar daddy and confided that she knew it couldn’t work out. That her sugar daddy had dropped women before because feeling got in the way. I told her I would help her as much as possible.

Falling in love with your Sugar Daddy is an issue a lot of Sugar Babies face. Lets face it, this man is wining and dining you, but they’re usually unobtainable for anything more. Some of these men have such hectic schedules and lives that they’re unable to commit, or they have a wife at home that they’re not willing to let go of, and you want more. You start craving them, thinking of them constantly, dreaming of them, checking your phone all the time to see if they’ve replied to your text and hanging onto their every word when they’re talking.

A lot of people have been asking what ever happened between Objection and I. I always responded the same way. “I dont know, we haven’t really spoken.” or “I don’t know what to do. I can’t really tell you.” I wasn’t lying. We hadn’t really spoken. For a day I avoided his calls, texts, and even when he knocked on the door I wouln’t answer. It wasn’t until very recently did I start talking to him again, mainly because his work event was tonight and I didn’t want to let him down. However, If you’re my FB friend, you would have read how I was feeling extremely ill and throwing up, I couldn’t get any sleep and I was generally having the worst day of my life. I considered trying to go anyway, but I eventually called him and told him I couldn’t make it, and he understood…

However he insisted that he should come over before he left. So OK, whatever. I figured he would just come over before maybe picking up one of his other SB’s and then just leave. I was expecting him to be all dressed up and ready to go.

He arrived at 7 (not long before he had to leave for his event) dressed in casual clothes, so I assumed he was just stopping by quickly. He asked what I needed doing around the house and I said I just needed Snapple (my dog) to get a walk. Objection was fine with it and left for 10 minutes.

He came back, I thanked him, and told him goodbye. He asked where I was going, which confused me. I hate it when people do that, because I always think I said something wrong in English. I told him I was going nowhere, but he was to go to his event.

He shook his head and said he wasn’t going anywhere if I’m sick, because he didn’t want to go with anyone else. That was the last straw for me.

So I called Objection yesterday to find out the exact time of his work function. It’s on a Saturday and it’s the type of event where you really dress up. I got a nice red dress. It’s incredibly simple, but with the right accessories, shoes and hair-do, it looks fantastic. I’m so happy with it, and I know Objection will be, too.

I also called him about things he’s been mentioning and saying in passing lately. He’s been encouraging me to drop my other SD’s, especially when I told him I was considering dropping JK. JK, although a lovely man in his own way, doesn’t ever come see me, and when he does, he’s always droning on. It’s boring. Instead of seeing our meet ups as something to look forward too, I’ve begun to dread them.

So, Objection has offered to raise my allowance if I drop my other two SD’s, and I think he would drop some/all of his other SB’s. He makes little comments like “do you really want three? wouldn’t one just be so much easier?” I never paid much attention to these comments until recently.

I told my SD friend MSJ about this, and his instant comment was “he’s inlove.” and that I needed to clear it up with Objection. He was right.

So later last night I called Objection and asked if it was OK if we talked. I asked him if asking about my other SD’s is something more than he’s letting on, and if on some level, he’s developed closer and deeper feelings for me. There was a long silence, and he asked if I he could come over.

So he came over and we chatted. He brought over wine (per usual) and we sat and chatted for awhile. He asked if I had feelings for him, and of course I do on a certain level. I used to have much stronger feelings for him, but I soon shoved them under the rug because I wouldn’t expect Objection to be the type of man to fall in love and settle. Now, a year later, he’s telling me all the things I would have wanted to hear then.

It was, to say the least, an emotional night. He told me he did, in fact, love me. That he adores how short I am (he’s 6’2, I’m under 5″3) and how I talk with my accent, and that I’m so kind to people regardless of who they are. I asked him when he knew he was in love.

“The time when you saw that spider in your apartment. I know how much you hate spiders. You called me over to take it out the apartment, and when I asked why you didn’t just step on it, you said because you didn’t want to kill it, no matter what it was.”

If you knew Objection, you’d know he’s very… Lawyerish. He’s not one to be so open to how he feels. It meant a lot he could trust me. Again, an emotional night. Objection means so much too me, and I don’t want to lose him. I told him I would definately drop JK (I’m calling him later this afternoon) but, right now, I want to keep with how things were going, and we could maybe talk about this again in a few months.

We went to bed and didn’t have sex. He just laid there and I snuggled up to his chest and we fell asleep. He was still here when I woke up, too (which usually we leave just before the other wakes up, unless we forget.) He instead made me breakfast. We ate and watched TV (I didn’t have work today either which was nice.)took a shower together, had sex in the shower, got dry, had sex again. He just left but an hour or so a go.

This scares me a bit. After last night, we’re on some level much different. I’m starting to wonder if things will drastically change in my life in the next few months, and to be compeletly honestly, it’s scary. I don’t know what I want from this… Is anything did become of it, would it even last? So much to think about.

He wanted to come over again tonight, but I said no. I think I need to get my head straight. If you have any opinions/suggestions/thoughts, please feel free to share. It’s always nice having a second opinion.

Objection is coming over later, and we’re going out again tonight. I get my monthly allowance, and he needs to give me details on his work event that is upcoming this week. I’ve been invited as his date, as I usually am for his business events. I like them, because I enjoy mingling with his coworkers, who are usually lawyers and businessmen with wit and charm. They like that I match up to that, but do so with class. I’m not stupid, and I always have some form of a comeback. I’m not sloppy or out of order with it though. His coworkers like me, their wives and girlfriends do not.

That is one of the only reasons I dislike this event. The women hate me because they think I want their husbands, or they know who I am and in what relation I am to Objection. They hate that I have a French accent and I’m small and sweet.

So Objection will be over tonight, and is apparently giving me extra for a dress. Objection is larger than life, and wants to make sure I represent that in how beautiful I look. Attractiveness and grace is a must at these events. I laugh sweetly, sit lightly, talk softly, touch seductively. I’ve played this game before and I know all the stops. Batter your eyelashes twice, not too obviously, and raise the corner of your mouth ever so slightly for that “come hither” look. Objection wants these men to be jealous. He knows I’ll be able to do that for him. I love it.

Objection wanted to know where I wanted to go. I may just cook for him at our house, make love and then get some drinks at a lounge.

I’m starting to wonder if Objection wants to take this relationship to more of a commitment. That’s just the vibe I get though.