Spoof news stories from Friday 28 March 2014

Hollywood-20th Century Fox, the producer of the movie based on the cartoon panel Marmaduke and the forthcoming movie based on the long-running comic strip Peanuts, is moving along with its 3D version of another cartoon panel-The Family Circus.

One of the world's most amazing musical instrument finds ever, yesterday sold for £50 million in a Sotheby's auction. One of only 15 sets of bagpipes ever made by Antonio Stradivari was uncovered in a tea chest in the back room of a Glasgow council...

The decision by the National Labor Relations Board to grant college players at Northwestern the right to form unions has brought a swift response from a newly organized group of college football powerhouse coaches.
The organization, called "Coache...

Former Dynasty superstar Joan Collins turned more than a few heads last weekend in Monaco when the forever young star showed off her new Bob Macky canary yellow bikini.
The 81 year old glamour girl didn't look a day over 50 as she lounged on the b...

Inadequate. A failure. Not good enough. These are all feelings some people have about themselves, and words used to describe that person by others. Absorbed deeply enough and they can cause one to fold in upon themselves leading to apathy, lethargy, isolation, depression, thoughts of moving somewhere far away, thoughts of suicide, and in the worst cases, actual suicide. Alternatively, the inadequa...

(STT News) Beijing - Information leaked by way of Malaysia, Australia, the US and UK, New Zealand, India, Israel, Pakistan, Bangladesh, China, Russia and the People's Quasi-Republic of Lower Antartica today revealed new evidence that MH370 may have c...

Commitment-phobes rejoice! According to recent news reports out of the magical land of Hollywood, you can live together, co-parent and have sex all you want without all the frustrating baggage of being a 'couple' or 'splitting' up, while also saving...

Mel Gibson may be slipping back into his old ways again and that's not good news for his fans.
"No one wants him anymore and he was near the top of the trade about three years ago", stated one producer who knows Gibson and asked not to be named.

A Wisconsin couples exercise in testing the strength of their relationship; prior to moving into together has failed, and the couple have now split up, with both parties refusing to speak to the other.
In a tentative attempt to test the waters of...

The CIA has announced that it has obtained a list, containing detailed plans regarding Russia's preparations to invade Ukraine, and then initiate a war with the United States.
The list includes:
1. Infiltrating online Russian bride dating sites with burly KGB officers dressed in bikinis and wearing wigs.
2. Propaganda team Photoshopping an image of Vladimir Putin knocking out Barack Obama...

Florida - A Fort Lauderdale man says he is confused, upset, perturbed and angry that, despite writing numerous spoof news articles over the past ten years; using various aliases and pseudonyms; that there is still no page on Wikipedia referencing...

Kakispell, Montana - "I just couldn't take it any more Your Honor," the defendant said, "just how much Mistletoe And Whine can any woman take?"
The court also heard the newlywed woman's feelings of estrangement after receiving a cell phone as a w...

This morning Adam Silver, the NBA commissioner, has revealed that due to the overwhelming popularity of the new short-sleeved jerseys among both players and fans, the NBA is considering adding full-body spandex uniforms next season.
The commissio...

Every day, people, just like buffalo herds in Africa, intently watch a despicable sight: a woman being attacked by a number of masked assailants, here; there, a weak buffalo or calf by a single lion. The masked men vigorously pull away the shoulder-strap purse of a woman, leaving home for shopping or other businesses, with impunity, in public thoroughfares. The more heinous spectacle is the ever-i...

A swan feast was last night interrupted by Queen Elizabeth II who appeared to pardon and absolve Vladimir Putin of any wrongdoing. The topic of conversation apparently turned to the Ukraine crisis.
The Ambassador to Russia, Bolshevic Kremlin had...

Handsome Megalomaniac, Kim Jong Un has everything going for him, according to the latest Celebrity Magazine, "Which Millionaire".. That is except for sweet breath.
Dentists scared of being executed will not go near the poo-breath fruitcake.

Global "we haven't found anything" news is catching on as reporters all over the world are having to stay at home and forego luxury hotels abroad.
"Its always better for ghoulish reporters if a plane crashes somewhere on land for instance Acapulc...

Desperate to regain the media spotlight after the lackluster sales of her recent album "Artpop," pop singer Lady Gaga has gotten her name in the news for the dubious act of paying someone to vomit on her, an act that health activists are decrying as...

PHOENIX, Arizona - Political Salad Bar Magazine's recent edition had a feature on Arizona's lame duck governor Jan Brewer.
The magazine article written by Sinclair Petaluma stated that that there has never been a more disruptive lame duck governor...

HOLLYWOOD - Well finally two of the remaining 9 American Idol contestants stepped it up and showed that they are the ones to be reckoned with.
Caleb Johnson the resident rock and roller from North Carolina got the audience on their feet with a fab...

SAGINAW, Michigan - The citizens of Tucson, Arizona are breathing a little bit easier now that they have received some good news from The Galileo Galilei Astrological Observatory located in Saginaw.
The observatory reports that a meteor that is th...

HOLLYWOOD - Lions Face Pictures in association with Touch Rock Films is proud to announce that production will soon begin on the Bandini Borrapelli film Lesbionics - The Penny Marshall Story.
The movie will deal with the life of Penny Marshall of...

MONTGOMERY, Alabama - Governor Robert J. Bentley speaking before a crowd of 200 people at a local tractor show said that he will be putting his foot down in regards to road rage.
The governor said that this problem has been going on for way too lo...

SPRINGFIELD, Illinois - President Obama took some time out from his busy schedule to visit the capital of Illinois.
He had been asked to travel to Springfield by state Senator Hayley Martha Tuckerbucker [D-Kankakee].
The Land of Lincoln State,...

WEST MONROE, Louisiana - Phil Robertson, patriarch of the Robertson family of Duck Dynasty fame has just informed the news media about plans for a Duck Dynasty Amusement Theme Park.
The park is scheduled to open in early 2015, and it will include...

HOLLYWOOD - The rumors circulating around LaLaLand are that Jessica Simpson is once again with child.
The Dukes of Hazzard star told Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres that she has no idea where that rumor started but it is false.
Sh...