Light a cigarette every time they swoon over Diana Poth/ Irina Lobacheva et al.

Also why not chain smoke? So light a fag when they disagree/take the piss out of
each other. Or utter the phrase: " Without a doubt"

Chug 5 times for each time they say: ‘It doesn’t get a lot better than
that’.

Chug some more when they mention how much weight a female skater has lost/gained
etc.

Dial out for a pizza when they say: ‘But will the judges go with it?’

Consider if you really want to still follow Figure skating next season and open
a bottle of whisky when they say ‘ He/she did well to hold onto that’

Throw whisky over your entire tape collection and set fire to them when at the
end of EVERY freeskate competition they say: ‘This has been the best night of
dance/pairs/men/ladies skating that we can remember’.