Oh my gosh

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Chapter 1

Oh my gosh

I came home today to find Amy on the floor, tears pouring from her eyes, and bleeding all over the floor. The blood was just gushing. I patched her up and we're hoping she won't need stiches. She didn't cut an artery or anything but it's deep. Amy wants to say something so... here she is:

This is Amy.

Today... sucked... at the end of school we had to do a whole class on bullying... That was... so painful... it made me think... of all the cruel and horrible things people have said to me... worthless.. fat... ugly... stupid... just to name a few. And I heard those words... every single day... people would twist my words to make them sound $xual or just horrible... My actions where made to look $xual... and if anyone really knows me they'd know that $x and me don't mix all that well... anyway, someone wrote WHORE in big red letters and it took all three of us a week to scrub off...

It made me think about cutting and I ended up doing it and now... I'm addicted... completely and totally... it made me want to kill myself... and I very nearly did it... it made me have thoughts of anorexia which is now a disorder for me... I have PTSD becuase of it... I have flashbacks of those to sentences the almost ended my life:

"You should just go die Amy! No one would care!"

God for f#!?ing bid anyone could've stuck up for me for those nine years... no teachers came to my rescure... no kid ever did anything, not even gave my a smile in the hallway. I've had plenty pretend to be my friend but no... they wanted to hurt me and boy did they do it...

I still have thoughts of suicide. Everyday I do. Every day I have the one stary thought that just wishes I was dead. Because people have made me believe that no one would care if I would die.

I don't know what to say anymore... don't worry about my safety, I'm not dying today. It's just a thought. I never said it was going to become an action. I promise I will live. Because three people in my life keep me alive and they know exactly who they are. For those people. I want to say thank you. I love you so much and I love everything you do.

I can't beleive some one would bully someone, well actually I can. Bullying has been going on for so long, too long. I use to be bullied, everyday I would hear things. I was hurt, I cried everyday because of that, heck, I thought of killing myself daily, but it got better, so I hope it will help you too, feel better