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The Great Donor Search: Day One

When I learned on June 2nd of this year that I would require an egg donor to become pregnant again, my first step was to immediately log on to the donor database provided by my fertility clinic and pick a donor. Here was my game plan:

1) Log on to database

2) Enter “brown eyes” “brown hair” into the drop down menu

3) Review lengthy list of highly suitable, attractive, educated donors (animal lover a plus) and select the one that resembled me the most closely

4) Become pregnant using the genes of this magnificent specimen who is 15 years younger than me but that probably was similar to me 15 years ago

What actually happened:

1) Log on to database

2) Enter “brown eyes” “brown hair” into the drop down menu

3) Review paltry list of three donors: one Asian, one Portuguese, one Caucasian*

*The Caucasian donor stated on her personal essay that her reason for being a donor was that she herself did not plan to have children, but due to her incredibly high IQ and the significant accomplishments she already boasted at age 21, she felt it was her duty to pass along her stellar genes so that her inherent greatness would go on, improving our country, and possibly the world, as a whole.

PASS.

And that, dear friends, was the moment I knew this wasn’t going to be the process I had imagined it would. Being told your eggs are old and unusable is one thing; trying to find a suitable egg donor is another. It is much, much harder. Being a potential egg recipient is no joke, but I’m pretty confident I’m going to find the humor in it just the same.

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. No matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me there's something stronger--something better, pushing right back. -Albert Camus