Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Mr and Mrs Habit

Thirty-seven years ago today, my parents got all gussied up and tied the knot in a little Maronite Catholic Church in Detroit, Michigan. To save you the math: 1969.

To do anything in dowtown Detroit in 1969 you had to have two things: guts and optimism. Over the course of thirty-seven years my folks have drawn bucketfuls of both.

Two kids, one of them gay. Sixteen changes of address in eleven states. Three family car trips across North America. Temporary duty assignments, cramped base housing. School tuition, college tuition, lessons in tennis and oil painting. Long division lessons on the kitchen table. First Communions, Cub Scout camp. Inept moving companies, uniforms to iron, dinners to cook, an exploding Plymouth Scamp, Christmas on a shoestring, birthdays on a shoestring, Disneyland on a shoestring, nutty relatives, two senior proms, tomato soup on the kitchen ceiling. And the ever-present knowledge that no matter how comfortable we might be, the next day word might come from the Air Force that it was time to pack it all up.

Never once, never once, did I hear them complain. Never once did I feel poor. Never once did I worry about where the future would take us. With my parents in charge, my sister and I knew things would be fine.

They taught us to hit the ground running, to keep our chins up, and to watch our asses. They taught us guts and optimism, and they're still teaching us.

They were both shockingly young in 1969. Young enough that if the wedding were happening today, people would shake their heads and make bleak predictions.

Hah.

Ladies and gentlemen, my parents. A tribute to the power of guts and optimism.

55 comments:

Happy Anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Habit! I cyber-toast your union and wish you many many more years of happiness. Franklin, that was a lovely tribute, and please tell your mother that her wedding gown is incredibly stunning.

That's a lovely tribute to your parents. I hope they are as proud of you as you are of them. To bring up kids with love and understanding and a positive sense of self-worth is about the best thing parents can do.

Franklin you look like your Dad..I am praying the exploding thing was a car ? That sounds like a good life ,after all it's love that counts .Not at all sure 1969 was a good time to be in the military but you said nothing about a certain conflict so hope Dad avoided it .Happy Anniversary to your folks.

The coincidences are a little scary, Franklin. My parents were married in 1969. Gay son and a daughter. 4 years on Minot AFB, followed by Mountain Home AFB and ending with the AFB near Roswell. We could have been in the same class had the postings worked out.

Happy anniversary wishes (a day or so late but still sincere) to Mr. & Mrs. Habit. You seem to have raised two lovely children. Thanks to you both for the sacrifices you made to serve our country. I wish you many more happy years together.

That you came from good folks has been obvious for a while. Thanks for giving us details. You are right to be very proud of them. Please pass on to your parents my thanks for your presence in this world. They did very well.

Congratulations and best wishes to the Habits! We, of course, love them without having met them. Not the least because they raised such a talented, wonderful kid. [Insert Flintstones video here: Happy anniversa-ree....]

Frank (Franklin) Thanks you for remembering all the good and bad times we had over the years. We always seem to land on our feet know matter what was thrown our way. We were really lucky to have two great kids that never gave us any problems (maybe a few). It has been a wonderful 37 years and I hope that we will have many many more.

Happy Anniversary to your parents. My parents celebrated 37 years as well, on July 4.

These examples of long, mutually respectful relationships are great models for the rest of us, and show that marriages are about the love, mutual support, and commitment between the two people involved, gay or straight.

What a great expression of your thoughts/feelings about your parents! Congratulations to them on their anniversary.

And, thanks for helping me to bring us some great memories. As a Army brat, I could relate to nearly everything you said. My parents have been deceased for several years now, but through your comments, I remember many wonderful things about them and my upbringing. You are truly a legacy to their life.

Franklin, this was a wonderful post. Your blog has become one of my must-reads. Your parents gifted you not only with guts and optimism (and love) but also with the stimulation and encouragement of a lively intellect and sense of humor.

That's a lovely tribute to your parents, Franklin. Once again, I'm so glad I found your blog. I was struck by the fact that your parents had financial problems. With all the money the U.S. spends on the military, why is it that we don't pay our servicemen and women enough to support their families? I've read that many people in the military are eligible for food stamps. Sad.

A very happy anniversary to your parents. I was also married in 1969 to a service guy. It was a very good year for marriages, I guess. Ma and Pa Habit, you should be incredibly proud of your accomplishments--great marriage and great kids.

A very nice tribute. I like that you and Sue had "Then" & "Now" photos (or "Now" & "Then", as I read hers first). It'll be 38 years for my parents next month. It's scary to look at photos of my father back then and realize that I could (theoretically, had I started really young) have a child that age now.

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