Re: Loneliness

One month isn't too far away @keezeik, is there anything more you need to do or prepare before you go?

When deciding on whether or not to go out or stay at home (a decision I struggle with a lot), I find it helps to have an exit strategy. Say if it's going out to a party (a lame example, I know ), I would go in with an option to leave. "I can't leave the dogs for too long or they get upset", and have a way out, if I drove I'd have the car or public transport, a friend I can trust and wouldn't mind dropping me home, that sort of thing. With an exit strategy, I know I can leave if I get too overwhelmed.

I believe in you! Having some ideas and strategies on how you might make friends is a good idea too. ReachOut has some cool articles somewhere that might help, what do you think?

Re: Loneliness

@N1ghtW1ng mostly just finishing off a course and finalising stuff, but apart from that it's good , mmm yeah that's true, I often do that too with those strategies - but yeah I have looked at some articles which is good

Re: Loneliness

@N1ghtW1ng it's been fairly busy at the moment, I haven't been as sad lately because I am currently getting help and medication - It has been a bit difficult to stay focused this week though, I felt last week was a lot more productive in some senses, but I guess that's fairly normal hahaha. I am having to follow up on a lot of things before I can finalise everything with my exchange so there's that. My goal for next week is that it will all be DONE.

Re: Loneliness

I am currently visiting family. I've also come to realise that part of my loneliness is my anxiety, which prevents my ability to make friends.

I have always had trouble making friends and normally whenever I feel like I have made a friend it doesn't last long, so now I don't really know whether someone is being genuine or not. Which sometimes causes me to mess things up for myself, and ruin that relationship. There is always a part where we are responsible in some senses. I think because of this I often jump to conclusion because I am so used to getting the short end of the stick that I have can't trust people apart from my own family. Are there any ways you make sure people don't take advantage of you or trust people? Sometimes I can be too trusting when I make friends and eventually I feel like people will take advantage of that, and it's annoying because I feel like I can't trust anyone, but in order to make a connection you have to trust people etc

Re: Loneliness

thats really good self awareness @keezeiki hope the time with your family goes well while your there.it can be really hard to meet people when we have anxiety, try not to be to hard on yourself about that. trust is tricky. with me i tend to hold back so much rather than be too trusting. perhaps when you meet people keep your cards close to your chest until you think the times right so introduce parts of your life in small incriments.

Re: Loneliness

@scared01 that is true, but just out of curiosity how do you know whether you're able to trust those people or not? Because I have had so many people take advantage of me in some way I just feel like it happens every time, so I am often like why bother?

I know at the end of the day, it's all easy to say don't worry about it, and you'll meet people like that etc but it still hurts when you've made a friend and you soon discover that they have taken advantage of you, and it's almost like that every time....

I guess even though when one is like the equivalent of a roasted marshmellow you just have to make that choice. I normally do stay closed off when I meet people, and it was only until recently when I met someone who I thought I could say they were a friend started to take their insecurities out on me. I don't really speak to them anymore because they are quite toxic.....

Luckily I have an acquaintance, which safe to say I could say they are a friend of mine? The thing is, I realise that all friendships are different, and even though you may have a very different sense of humour there will be stuff that's similar like what sort of shopping you like or food. I wouldn't say she's my best friend because I don't really think about those sort of things, but she's a friend nonetheless.