This is the blog of a humor writer who also writes nonfiction. When bored, I make beaded jewelry to sell.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Can We Go Now

Can We Go Now?

”I’m ready. I’m all warmed up.”

“Stupid small keys on this thing!”

“Let me see it John. What are you trying to do?”

“I’m trying to send a text message to that dadblamed car that we’re NOT going anyplace.”

Yes, it has gotten that bad. Cars now have a mind of their own. John’s been home for a couple of hours but that darned car wants to go for a drive! These things are so high tech they can turn themselves on. At least they can’t drive without a human behind the wheel. They are so high tech that the gearshift ‘reads’ the fingerprints. That is the ultimate theft protection.

John didn’t know about all of this when he bought the car. He saw it in the showroom and paid for it right then. He had his quarterly royalty check and needed a good car. Unfortunately for him, he’s an impulse buyer. That’s why Debi, his wife, handles the finances. But she turned him loose to get his car. Big mistake!

“I want to go visit my sister.”

“Y O U D O N How do you do apostrophe’s on this danged keypad?“Here, let me do it. Your fingers are too fat.”

“Go to Sleep”

That’s all she had to do. The car would stay asleep until told to wake up. Unlike John, Debi read the instructions. So to make his life easier, she programmed the letter A to tell the car to wake up and the letter B for it to go to sleep. That’s all he needed until the car troubles start. But, that’s another story.