Hackensack, NJ – WWE’s Cruiserweights celebrated the holiday season together much to the chagrin of current Cruiserweight champion Enzo Amore. The stars of 205 Live played in the snow, ice skated, and enjoyed each other’s company. It made Amore sad. “Bah, humbug, yo,” said Amore starring out the window of his leopard-print covered apartment while all the other WWE Cruiserweights Continue Reading...

Boston, MA – In a shocking and unexpected move, former WWE star Rob Van Dam defended his WWE European Championship during Clash of Champions. A proud Van Dam confidently strode out in front of the crowd, casually hitting his classic “R-V-D” pose! The crowd reaction was a mixture of surprise and confusion, but Van Dam took it in stride. As Continue Reading...

Nashua, NH – Independent wrestler Johnny Flipz was hospitalized this weekend due to self-inflicted wounds to his thighs. Flipz was competing in the triple-threat main event of New Hampshire Pro Wrestling Syndicate’s annual “Live Free Or Piledrive” event at Sununu Elementary School against “The Mad Millienial” Matt Milbury and Sgt. Biff Flagg when the injury occurred. “I knew something was Continue Reading...

Toronto, Canada – While many North American companies reaped the benefits of having Black Friday sales, Impact Wrestling reportedly lost a staggering amount of money. Although a “breakdown in communications” is the company’s official excuse as to why they had such poor and confusing sales, a closed-door meeting among Anthem Sports executives shed light on a litany of issues plaguing Continue Reading...

Houston, TX – After competing in the traditional 5-on-5 Survivor Series Elimination Match, Braun Strowman invited WWE legend the Gobbledy Gooker to Thanksgiving. Over the past few years, the two have struck up an unlikely friendship as the Gooker has taken Strowman under his wings in a mentoring role. “The difference between NXT and the main roster is huge, and Continue Reading...

Washington, DC – In a shocking turn of events, Congress has voted unanimously to make Rusev Day a national holiday. Despite ongoing gridlock in the nation’s capital, both Republicans and Democrats came together to honor WWE Superstar Rusev. The bill moved quickly through both the House and the Senate after a massive groundswell of support for the holiday at the Continue Reading...

Zephyrhills, FL – WWE Superstar Bray Wyatt attempted to return Halloween decorations to his local Spirit Halloween store to no avail. Wyatt walked into the Spirit Halloween store and placed a box full of Halloween decorations and other assorted items on the counter. “Yes, ahem, I would like to return these items,” said Wyatt, squinting at the worker’s name tag. Continue Reading...

Greenwich, CT – WWE CEO Vince McMahon has enlisted the help of several WWE Superstars to ensure that his Halloween party is the best ever. Wrestlers gathered in the entry foyer of McMahon’s mansion which had recently been transformed for a Halloween party. Cobwebs had been stretched across the massive double staircase, plastic skeletons dangled from the expensive chandelier, and Continue Reading...

Minneapolis, MN – Matches for TLC were thrown in to chaos as both Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt came down with a viral illness. Always concerned with the welfare of his Superstars, WWE CEO Vince McMahon skipped TLC and tended to the sick wrestlers. As a precautionary measure, McMahon sent both wrestlers to Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis. Wearing a Continue Reading...

Los Angeles, CA – In a surprise move, former WWE, WCW, and ECW wrestler Lance Storm has joined the popular dancing competition Dancing With The Stars. Following the increased viewership from wrestling fans after WWE star Nikki Bella joined the cast, network executives requested that another wrestler be added. “Thanks to Nikki, we’ve reached a whole new audience that was Continue Reading...

Piscataway, NJ – Popular independent pro wrestling tag team The Young Bucks tried out a number of new catchphrases during their main event match this weekend to the delight of those in attendance. The team, which consists of real life brothers Matt and Nick Jackson, recently received a cease and desist letter from WWE for their usage of the famed Continue Reading...

Uniondale, NY – After receiving a largely positive response for bringing back NWA/WCW’s event Starrcade, WWE has announced that they will also be bringing back the Bunkhouse Stampede. The Bunkhouse Stampede, which began in 1985, was a battle royal held by the NWA that often saw participants wearing cowboy boots and street clothes. Wrestling legend Dusty Rhodes won the event Continue Reading...

Ontario, CA – Following last night’s brutal championship match at No Mercy, WWE Superstars Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar have vowed to continue their feud. Strowman, living up to his “I’m not finished with you” mantra, issued another challenge to Lesnar directly after the conclusion of their match. “You’re not man enough to face me again, Lesnar!” barked Strowman. “Week Continue Reading...

Oakland, CA – In a shocking turn of events, WWE Superstar Kevin Owens will be facing a team of Vince McMahon’s lawyers at Hell In A Cell. Last week, Kevin Owens delivered a devastating headbutt to WWE CEO Vince McMahon, causing the 72-year-old to bleed from the wound. Originally scheduled to be a Hell In A Cell match between Owens Continue Reading...

Stamford, CT – To the surprise of wrestling fans and historians worldwide, WWE has discovered long-lost film of Hall of Famer Pat Patterson’s Intercontinental Championship victory in Rio de Janeiro. The film puts to rest the long-standing belief that the event was fabricated. The incredible discovery was made by WWE archivist Julian Himmelfarb. “We recently acquired a box of old VHS Continue Reading...

Orlando, FL – A news conference at the WWE Performance Center revealed that WWE officials have brought a former champion to compete in the Mae Young Classic tournament. “Naturally, when you have a tournament with so many hard-hitting competitors wanting to win the grand prize, you’re going to get some injuries,” said Triple H. “Rather than some woman getting byes Continue Reading...

Hollywood, CA – WWE Studios announced that their latest movie will feature WWE Superstar Braun Strowman in the lead role of their new romantic comedy, “I’m Not Finished With You”. Strowman, whose popularity has risen in recent months thanks to being portrayed as an unstoppable monster, will be taking on the role of Biff Strongman, a professional wrestler that is Continue Reading...

Brooklyn, NY – WWE Superstar Baron Corbin has developed a new persona in light of recent events. Corbin, who has been acting strangely since losing failing to cash in his Money In The Bank contract on Smackdown, appeared at backstage sporting a new white streak in his suddenly bushy hair. “DELICIOUS!” exclaimed a wide-eyed Corbin while getting a meal at Continue Reading...

Voorhees, NJ – The much-anticipated Deathmatch at CZW’s ” Once In A Lifetime” between Matt Tremont and Atsushi Onita took a different turn than most experts expected. The crowd was at a fever pitch at the Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees as “The Bulldozer” Matt Tremont and Atsushi Onita were ready to engage in ultraviolence. With weapons in hand, both Continue Reading...

Richmond, VA – In an emotional segment on Smackdown Live, WWE Attitude Era legend Moppy was revealed to be James Ellsworth’s mother. For weeks, Ellsworth has been seen taking secretive phone calls during the show. Many believed that it was Ellsworth’s new girlfriend from Canada that no one has ever seen, but totally exists and is going to make Carmella Continue Reading...

Philadelphia, PA – Philadelphia police announced Monday morning that they have arrested former wrestling star Ken Patera and placed him in Punjabi Prison. In a prepared statement, Philadelphia Police Captain Donald Carpenter said, “At 12:34am this morning, police responded to a break-in at a McDonald’s on North 52nd street. While no money was taken from the registers or the safe, Continue Reading...

Hollywood, CA – In a shocking movie, Disney has cast WWE Superstar Jack Gallagher for the titular role in the live-action version of Aladdin. Disney, who publicly stated recently that they were having difficulty filling the lead role, released a statement saying, “There’s just something special about Jack Gallagher that makes him perfect to play a character of Middle Eastern Continue Reading...

Nashville, TN – Global Force Wrestling’s one and only fan has been making the rounds on wrestling message boards, Facebook groups, and Reddit celebrating the company’s re-branding of TNA. A person by the name of “Joof Jorrett” has been joining various websites to praise the rebirth of his favorite company, Global Force Wrestling. “It’s about dang time someone finally righted Continue Reading...

Hollywood, FL – WWE CEO Vince McMahon announced at a press conference earlier today that the newest original programming on the WWE Network would be a reality show called “Everybody Hates Dolph Ziggler”. McMahon, flanked by his daughter Stephanie and Ziggler himself, explained the premise. “We have Dolph Ziggler going around the country and tape people saying awful things about Continue Reading...

Los Angeles, CA – WWE officials have taken the proactive measure of wrapping WWE Superstar Seth Rollins in protective packing bubbles before every match. The controversial decision was made after Rollins had to receive stitches on his face after last night’s Monday Night Raw. “It’s for his own safety as well as the financial safety of the company,” said Triple Continue Reading...

Kansas City, MO – WWE Superstar Baron Corbin has been spending his spare time trying to get his band on to the 2017 edition of the Vans Warped Tour. Corbin, who recently won Money In The Bank Ladder Match, was seen hanging outside the Zona Rosa Town Center Hot Topic talking to anyone who might look like they’d listen to Continue Reading...

Orlando, FL – At a press conference, WWE CEO Vince McMahon revealed details for the company’s plans to open their very own them park. Flanked by daughter Stephanie, son Shane, son-in-law Triple H, and the mayor of Orlando, McMahon laid out his vision for the historic theme park. “It is the number one priority of the WWE to entertain the WWE Continue Reading...

Greenville, SC – The Greenville Sherriff’s office has declared the “Bayley: This Is Your Life” segment from last week’s Monday night Raw a crime scene. The segment, in which WWE Superstar Alexa Bliss mocked Bayley, was universally panned by both the live audience and fans at home. As WWE’s crew was breaking down the ring, Sherriff Marvin Talty arrived with Continue Reading...