Tuesday, August 9, 2011

We Do Not Have Pillows & Blankets...And For Good Reason.

Have I ever told you about the time I found jizz on an airplane blanket?

I have found jizz on an airplane blanket.

So the next time you didn't come prepared and ask your flight attendant for a jizz blanket that we no longer supply, don't huff through your shivers looking annoyed. You should be thanking us for this particular budget cut.

Definitely disgusting. I, however, freeze my ass off on airplanes, so I'm totally willing to snuggle up in somebody else's jizz if it keeps me from shivering. I do bring my own blanket when possible (and thank god they still have jizz blankets on international flights).

I always thought blankets and pillows were disgusting. In fact, everything is gross. I need to be wearing a paper suit at all times. I've seen babies changed on these blankets and then on the next flight someone is all cuddled up with said fecal fleece. Hmmmmm I've seen people wrap them around their bare feet and leave them on the puke stained floor only to be folded up and used again on the next leg. So unless your blankie comes in hermetically sealed plastic pouch... do not use it unless you are the type to lick hotel remote controls! Use this instead:http://www.pambee.com/shop.htmlBest part, you'll look hot doing it.

About Me

Hi! I'm a space waitress, stewardess, air hostess, and flight attendant. Although based on my true experiences or those told through me, the satire and sarcasm expressed in this blog is in no way associated with the airline I work for or the union that represents me.