Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Working on Life

I'm really trying to change my outlook of me and my life. I'm angry with my daughter, hurt by one son and confused by the other. I do understand that they are adults, living their own lives and that I really have no place to say anything one way or the other about those lives. I did my job, I raised them, gave them a foundation in responsible action, moral behavior and everything else I could think of, to arm them for the real world. They chose to pretty much do the exact opposite of everything they were taught. That isn't my fault, I need to accept that & move on in my life.

I can have what I want, for the most part these days, I just have to stop feeling guilty that one of my children may be going without something (due to their own actions) that the money I want to spend on one of the Nooks I'm looking at could buy for them.

I know the hardest days with my daughter are coming up, when we tell her we still haven't changed our minds about her fines and phone & are still not paying for anything. I know that I will have a lot of guilt & will be second-guessing myself all over the place, but the truth is, it's time for her to grow up. She wants all of the rights and benefits of being an adult, so she needs to own the responsibilities of adulthood, as well.

I will come out of all of this a better, stronger and happier person. That will be my only resolution next year.

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About Me

Within ourselves lies a drive, a force that only makes sense to us. It is that force that can make a person crazy. Crazy is only what you make of it. In the past, most people have been trained to think that crazy is a negative thing... but I repeat, crazy is only what you make of it. Crazy is a state of mind comprised of desire, anger, knowledge, courage, fear and devotion. Crazy makes people fall in love. Crazy makes a musician and an artist talented. Crazy makes a dying man take his own life. Make what you will of this, but I cannot believe I would be any better off sane. Therefore, I am, and will remain, crazy.