After having their 11th child, a Redneck couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. "However a less costly alternative, said the doctor," is to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The Redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1" "2" "3" "4" "5"

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure works in Alabama, Tennessee, Louisiana, Kentucky, Arkansas, Mississippi, West Virginia and some parts of Texas.

"Son we would like to keep you around here but were trying to win a pennant this year."

Yes doctor, I am sick.Sick of those who are spineless.Sick of those who feel self-entitled.Sick of those who are hypocrites.Yes doctor, an army is forming.Yes doctor, there will be a war.Yes doctor, there will be blood.....