"Likely the most widely read living poet in Ireland", The Stinging Fly magazine.
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Friday, 15 July 2016

Minor Farts In A Much Bigger Storm

Danuta Kean is a loud online supporter of the neo-Blairite attempted coup against
Jeremy Corbyn. Danuta supports denying the 150,000 people who joined the Labour
Party recently a vote; she supports the ban on Constituency Labour Parties
meeting until September.

When
challenged on these issues Danuta says this sort of thing [to me] "You
have officially tipped over into fascism. Orwell would be shocked to know you
can spell when you clearly can't think for yourself." These days every
clown on Earth, from Tony Parsons to Nick Cohen's cat starts digging up George
Orwell's corpse when trying to justify their support for something horrible,
such as the UK Independence Party or the imposition of martial law in the
British Labour Party.

Despite
the fact that Danuta clearly has no idea that fascism actually means the
sort of atrocities pictured below, she is taken seriously by some, most of all
by herself. She is books editor of Mslexia magazine and the sort of person
literary types of not much discernible talent think it cool to stay on the good
side of.

What fascists actually do, given the chance

An
important thing to remember about people like Danuta is that they essentially
don't matter, their opinions are just small gusts of wind, minor farts, in a
much bigger storm.

Such
unpleasant expulsions of air are proof though that some people in and around the media and literary world in the UK are
becoming a little (ahem) emotional at the possibility of no more frothy coffees
in Brighton in post-Brexit Britain. They despise the people of the North East
of England and South Wales who, though I would have supported remain myself,
voted for Brexit for entirely understandable reasons. Frothy coffee in Brighton
is one thing, but something else altogether when consumed in Gateshead or
Merthyr Tydfil.

Many
of these types have, in their usual shallow attention seeking way, leapt up to
support the attempted coup against Jeremy Corbyn. The fact that, when
interviewed on The Last Leg, he said that
he was “7 or 7 ½ out of 10” in favour of the European Union has infuriated the
poor darlings. When I took an online test during the referendum campaign it
told me that I was 6/10 in favour of the EU. So I understand Jeremy’s hesitation
at giving the EU the 10/10 which was the only answer that was going to satisfy
the aforementioned metropolitan midget-brains. How anyone could be as
enthusiastic as they appear to be about EU after said institution’s attempt, just
last summer, to starve the people and democratically elected government into
submission by strangling the Greek banking system is beyond me. If you give the
EU 10/10 after that then, I’m sorry, but you are part of what’s wrong with the
world right now.

Argument
makes no difference to such people. They are so far gone that they believe that
sending Chuka Umunna to Sunderland and Swansea to tell the good people of those
cities how globalisation is actually good for them would have swung the
referendum for Remain.

Devilishly handsome Blairite dreamboat Chuka Umunna

Such
a strategy would, I’m pretty sure, have led to an even bigger vote for Brexit.

Now,
this tragic band of Julie Burchill wannabees want to put things right by
replacing Jeremy Corbyn with someone such as the dreadful Angela Eagle or that
guy with the Welsh accent no one has heard of yet. They want a leader of the
Labour Party who talks against austerity a bit in opposition, though not too
loudly, and then implements it in office. For this is what will happen if the
coup attempt against Jeremy Corbyn is successful.