Once, during the Summer before I entered the 4th grade, I went to Taco Bell. I was very excited for this particular trip. You see, I was an athletic - although chubby - little boy, and it was recommended by my Pediatrician that I go to see a Dietician. The Dietician gave me a plan, and I began to lose weight. One of the foods that I could fit into my plan was a Spicy Chicken Burrito. As a matter of fact, I could have two of them. So now you see why I was so excited, as I could enjoy something "unhealthy" but also guilt-free.

We entered the Taco Bell and got in line. I had to run back out to the car, but my mom knew what to order for me. I can't remember the exact reason why I had to go back out to the car, but I believe that I had a healthy beverage of some sort that I wanted to bring in, so as not to drink soda from the fountain. Anyway, I ran back inside in my sandals. What I did not realize when I hurriedly opened the door was that there was a ~1'' gap between the ground and the door. Or, roughly the height of my big toe. As I pulled the door open, I also pulled the door right over my foot. It just so happened that the gap was the perfect height to rip my big toenail clean off.

It happened so quickly that I didn't even realize what had happened. I took a few steps into the store, and looked down to see my foot covered in blood. My mom rushed over, sat me down in a booth, and got a handful of napkins. Luckily, she just given her order to the cashier. The Manager, probably afraid of a lawsuit or something, let us have everything for free. He put the food in bags, gave us supplies from the First-Aid Kit, and helped me walk out the door to the car.

On the way to the ER, my foot was twitching on and off. Like, I was basically kicking air. This was happening not because my brain was commanding my foot to do so. This was happening because I had damaged the nerve-bed under my toe, which was causing involuntary spasms in my foot.

The bright side of this story was that it really didn't even hurt. The biggest amount of pain came when I got Novocaine shots in my toe, as they had to numb it so they could sew the big toe (which I had recovered) back on. They wanted to do this so that there was something there to protect the now-exposed nerves.

You better believe I crushed that Taco Bell on the way to the ER though. It tasted as delicious as ever. My only regret is not threatening to sue, so that maybe I'd get, like, free Taco Bell for life out of the deal. I really dropped the ball on that one.

If you’re ever in St. Louis, do yourself a favor and stop by Lion’s Choice for a roast beef sandwich. It’s cooked medium rare and sliced to order. Slightly more expensive than Arby’s, but a million times better. Arby’s roast beef tastes like warmed up Budding meat in comparison.

No fast food place is worthy of its' own thread except Arby's, Taco Bell, and probably Whataburger (which would just be me and boogercrack arguing about spicy ketchup or something)

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for the longest time I wondered why everyone was always praising Whataburger - based solely on my experiences at a non-affiliated burger joint(s) by the same name here in central VA (they were the worst of the worst burger dives)

for the longest time I wondered why everyone was always praising Whataburger - based solely on my experiences at a non-affiliated burger joint(s) by the same name here in central VA (they were the worst of the worst burger dives)

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Fuck I fell for that too. There was a whataburger here in Hampton Roads, I went and was like, fuck this sucks, then researched it. It was a fake whataburger. How is that even legal?