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How To Make A Lasting Impression

You sound great in e-mail, on social media and on the telephone. Don’t blow it in person.

So often, we make initial business contacts by e-mail or through social media, such as LinkedIn and Twitter. It may be months — or even years – before we meet. While written content shapes the first impression, the vibes we give off in person make a lasting impression. The timbre of our voice, our body language and eye contact can help or hurt everything that came before.

Some professionals prefer to think that what they say is more important than physical appearance. But in fact, folks are sizing you up before you even take off your coat, says Christine K. Jahnke, a speech coach and author of the book The Well-Spoken Woman. She recently explained that to a senior-level engineer at a large defense company who used to wear a ski parka to professional meetings. (Jahnke insisted he purchase an overcoat.)

People notice everything from your choice of clothing colors and how a jacket fits, to your hairstyle and the length of your fingernails, Jahnke says. “You don’t want anything about your appearance to be distracting — to take away from the message that you have come to communicate.”

Whether you are giving a speech; going on a job interview; or delivering a presentation, here’s how to make a lasting impression:

Modulate your voice. When we’re nervous, we speak more quickly — something that comes across both on the phone and in person. Purposely slow down. Any hesitation can make you sound unsure of yourself, but a deliberate pause can emphasize a key point.

For women, in particular, the pitch of their voices may rise when they are nervous, making them sound girlish. Whatever their age, that detracts from their credibility and sense of authority.

Before picking up the phone or heading into that important meeting, take a cue from the yogis. Breathe in deeply through your nose, hold it for a moment or two, and then audibly exhale. Not only will it help you relax, it will improve the quality of the sound.

Maintain eye contact. Leonardo da Vinci famously said “the eyes are the window to the soul,” but there is such a thing as over doing it. You can’t hold that gaze for the whole meeting (we all need to blink once in a while), and you don’t want to seem like you’re staring. Be sure to make eye contact when you first meet someone, and when delivering your most important lines.

During pauses in the conversation, don’t look up at the ceiling – it seems like you’re trying to pluck answers out of the air. Instead, look off to the side during that pensive moment. Bring your eyes back and hold them steady as you complete a sentence; “Hand off the thought with your eyes,” Jahnke says. Too often people look away at that point because “they’re in a big hurry to get to what they’re going to say next.”

Pay attention to posture. Mother was right when she told you to stand up straight, and that’s true whether you’re tall or short. Keep your shoulders back, and never cross your arms in front of you (the closed body position). When seated, lean forward slightly, rather than leaning back into the chair, which can cause you to slump.

Mind your hands. Most meetings start with a cordial handshake. Put out your full hand, avoiding the half-handed (and halfhearted) grip, which can feel like a cold fish. Shake firmly, but don’t squeeze too hard or overdo — we’ve all been stuck in those handshakes that seem to last too long.

Watch what you do next. Clasping your hands on the table or in your lap can reveal white knuckles or lead to nervous thumb twiddling. Instead, keep hands apart, in front of you, or place one loosely over the other.

Use humor judiciously. A smile makes you look confident and relaxed. Humor, such as a funny story from everyday life, “can send a signal that you don’t take yourself too seriously, which can break the ice and help the other person relax,” Jahnke says. But be attuned to the culture of the organization and the person you’re talking with. Only use humor if it has a purpose, such as to illustrate what you’re saying.

Watch out for laughter that punctuates your sentences—another distracting, nervous mannerism, Jahnke adds. “How long can you have a conversation with someone who laughs after everything they say?”

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Unless a woman recognizes the importance of her wardrobe, it is unlikely she will be promoted regardless of how well she performs. Like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl, she’s not going to be taken seriously until she changes her wardrobe to one more in line with the corporate culture and expectations.

Her clothes are sending a strong message that she doesn’t want to be part of the team.

Even high-ranking business leaders underestimate the messages their clothing says about them. In an article in The Wall Street Journal, Christina Brinkley reported:

“I recently suggested to Dorothy Waldt, a New York executive recruiter, that CEOs and other high-level job candidates must know what to wear by that stage in their careers. “You’d think!” she said when she had stopped laughing.

“People don’t understand the messages that their clothes send,” says Ms. Waldt, a recruiter with CTPartners. Women sometimes don’t realize how often a tight shirt or a low neckline comes across as seductive. People who meet them are likely to assume the sexual innuendo is intentional.”

For a free ebook, “Decoding the Executive Woman’s Dress Code,” send an email to SuperwomanSecrets@gmail.com

In addition to these tips, be careful about too much ‘fidgeting’ or un-necessary movements. Fidgeting happens without our knowing it so be aware of what you are doing.

A common example is shaking your legs when sitting or tapping your feet. This typically happens when someone is nervous and I’ve mostly noticed this when I am interviewing a candidate. Personally I did this on a first date and she was kind enough to call me out on it. :)

Here are some more tips on the myJoblinx blog: http://myjoblinx.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/what-every-candidate-ought-to-know-before-a-job-interview/

BODY LANGUAGE THAT GETS THE JOB?? Goodness it sounds and seems very easy to pull this off, but mostly juniors like me tend to allow nervoursness to take over. I would also like to advice mostly african cultured individuals to…. “adapt or die” hehehehehe. Not because they are not normal but to be able to separate the corporate world from the traditional or cultured world. Reason for emphasising this is because it is seen as disrespectful as a youngter to make eye contact with your elders but in the business world we do need to allow that window to the soul. It really makes the interaction more friendlier and clearer. I appreciate this information and will use it wisely to my benefit. :-)

Another useful tip – particularly with presentations – is to watch for unnecessary words that detract from the message you’re trying to get across. For example, words such as “umm”, “ah”, unnecessary “and”‘s, etc can be very distracting to the audience. It’s also useful to remember that terminology should be kept relatively simple (depending on the audience of course) since overuse of technical terminology can make the message much more complicated and less concise.

Is it just me, or were they both being super awkward? The author’s posture seemed contrived and forced, and it looked too planned. Pro tip: worry less about vocal modulation techniques and more about at least appearing to have experience being around other humans in public.

Give me a break – spare me the lectures on nails especially. I am 55 years old and have had inch long nails (mine not glued on) since I was 18 and no one will ever tell me to cut them down to be a better worker and business owner. Especially when I type 80 WPM and do 1200 KPH