Yeah usually Tuesday is crime day, I know, but there weren't many dumb crimes and then I watch this kid live out every human's dreams so I figured I'd break form...

This little kid better not take this shit for granted. I hope he realizes that this doesn't just happen. Lucky little bastard. We've all been that kid who goes to the zoo and goes up to the glass and tries to get the monkeys to play with them, and all they do is just stare at you and crush your dreams of having a little ape friend. The best you can hope for is that they wing their shit at you, at least that's funny. But this jerk just walks right up and gets a free game of gorilla hide and seek? Bullshit.

What was his name? Jacob? Look, Jacob, you better get this, okay? You better see how lucky you are. I mean you seem like a good enough guy, you clearly had fun, as you should have, and that's all good, but don't let it get to your head. Right place, right time, that's all this was, pal.

Also, not sure how you feel about gambling but this would def be the day to hit the casino up.