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De Agostini to publish ‘The Internet’ in monthly supplements

Publishing giants De Agostini have announced that they are to tackle their biggest subject area yet and produce ‘The Internet’ as a monthly magazine for people who don’t have access to computers or the World Wide Web. The first installment of the magazine comes with Edition 2 free and will be available by subscription until about issue 27 when it will cease to be produced although your direct debit will not be cancelled.

Marketing executive Chris Hanson said ‘I thought about all those people in the UK who do not have access to the internet either on a computer, a phone, a games console, their television or even their fridge and I realised they would never have the thrill of a Google image search for pictures of Canadian aquatic mammals and stumbling across a picture of a naked ladies.’

Each Month a 90 page glossy magazine will take the most popular web pages on the net and reproduce them in high colour glossy print. Animated gifs will be represented by the little grainy holograms that were popular in the 1980s. Every issue will be accompanied by a fold out poster detailing a different Google images search as ‘The Internet’ builds into a valuable collection to any household still stuck in the 20th Century.

De Agostini have tried to ensure the true Internet experience by packing the magazine with an many leaflets and adverts as possible and every now and then there will be a blank page that just says ‘404 Error.’ Readers will also have the option to have hundreds of badly spelled postcards delivered to their door every day offering them cheap ‘V14Gr4′ or ‘h0t S3x W1th a Russ14n Brid3′.

The magazine will also be interactive including blank pages with a Wikipedia logo at the top for readers to create their own Wiki-entry and partially complete entries where they can change things to make it look like Tom Cruise is a good actor.

Readers will be able to share in the anonymous fun of the Internet by taking part in a postal forum where month by month they can mail an opinion in and when it is argued against reply on a postcard with the words ‘Lol U R N00b!!!!111! + U R Ghey!’

Issue 1 also comes with a free ring binder, Google index cards and dividers, the first three card inserts of “Teh Internet chat Speak guide – Lolz”, and a flicker book of notorious video favourite ‘2 Girls 1 cup’. Priced at 99p (issues 2 onwards 3.99). ‘But remember, the magazine for people who do not have the internet is not available in the shops’ said DeAgostini’s Chris Hanson. ‘So you have to order it on-line.’