2. I can not recommend this highly enough...

She brought tears.... An enormous and thanks to that woman for speaking out.

It is horrendous that weight is the seeming last "acceptable" focus of bigotry and hate in this country, but sadly, those who would never use race or gender or sexual orientation to direct their disdain, think nothing of making hateful comments towards the overweight and obese. Children learn from this and learn to target through their own hateful bullying. It is devastating and the impacts--their remnants--last a lifetime.

18. Powerful message. I know as a fat person myself and had somewhat of an experience that

w as hurtful I had to walk away. But the first thing every fat person know for themselves and surely don't need to be reminded by strangers. I've had surgery and lost tons of weight and gained it back. People just see a fat person who has no control. Yet if a person has never been in this situation its so very hard to understand. None of us love being fat. But honestly there comes a time when you finally say it's enough because you are so unhappy by what others say and think. I finally had to realize I am me god made me who I am and I have to love me first before others will care. I am lucky to be married to a wonderful supportive husband of 33 yrs. He has thin. I love him the way he is. He loves me the way I am. We respect one another. That is all that matters to me.

4. She's so inspiring!

"To all of the children out there who feel lost, who are struggling with your weight, color of your skin, sexual preference, acne on your face.... Do not let your self-worth be defined by bullies. Learn from my experience; that the cruel words of one are nothing compared to the shouts of many."

31. Her eloquence & grace are remarkable.

35. Bullying is wrong.

Democrat Underground has many bullies. They use The TOS and SOP as weapons against those they don't like. Against those they disagree with. Twisting and distorting words and meanings to justify alerts, out right lying sometimes when alerting and also when on the juries.
I think part of the problem is that bullying is not mentioned specifically in the rules. Words against bullying need to be added to both the TOS AND the SOP for Democratic Underground. The bullies use their own definition of "bigotry", "sexism", or whatever else they decide to use against their target, context and real world meaning be damned.

Just because it isn't listed here, doesn't mean it's ok. If you post anything which is obviously disruptive, malicious, or repugnant to this community, its members, or its values, you risk being in violation of these Terms of Service.
One more thing: Don't push your luck.

The DU Community Standards state: "It is the responsibility of all DU members to participate in a manner that promotes a positive atmosphere and encourages good discussions among a diverse community of people holding a broad range of center-to-left viewpoints." Members who demonstrate a pattern of disruptive behavior over time and end up getting too many of their posts hidden by the jury (measured by raw number or percentage) may be found to be in violation of our Terms of Service. If you seem to be ruining this website for a large proportion of our visitors, if we think the community as a whole would be better off without you here, if you are constantly wasting the DU Administrators' time, if you seem to oppose the mission of DU, or if the DU Administrators just don't like you, we will revoke your posting privileges. Remember: DU is supposed to be fun — don't make it suck.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=termsofservice

Bullying is disruptive, malicious and repugnant to the membership in general. Bulling does not promote a positive atmosphere. It derails otherwise good discussions and leads to disrupting the thread and even DU in general. Bullying sucks the fun out of Democratic Underground. The problem is getting worse, instead of better, as the bullies keep refining their tactics to harass and intimidate into silence their targets.

14. Totally awesome!

Thank you for the link and thanks to her for standing up and making a teachable moment. Its getting so awful, snarky, rude, racist, sexist, bigoted comments are just everyday crap anymore especially on the internet. People seem to feel that they have anonymity and therefore license to bully and cut people. I hope that bullying month gets promoted Way more, this link was the first I had heard of it!

15. K&R

16. And I ca't believe this but..

as I was typing my previous post on Martin Bashir they were talking about Mitt Romney and paul ryan using bullying language to talk about the President and anybody who would support him..I couldn't believe it.

17. Bullying is every where. At your job, at school at social organizations and even here in DU. nm

56. I agree. WARNING: GRAPHIC

I used to belong to a forum for the deaf but it has become a cesspool of bullying by parents, the far right and those deaf who are unable to come to terms with their deafness.

One deaf man has tried to force forum members to become cochlear candidates (CIs are not for every deaf person nor do most deaf qualify for CIs) and he has tried to force the liberal members into becoming Republicans and Tea Partiers and he has said that those deaf who use sign language are inferior to the hearing.

This same man even posted two threads about how it was funny that a cat got decapicated by sunroof on the car in a failed ad and another thread about disembowling cats. One mod has said he would permaban the man if he trolled again. The deaf man has started other troll threads and he hasn't been banned yet. I was skeptical that he'd get banned anyway given how the ban process works in that forum. The only thing that happened was that both threads got deleted.

And where are mods in this? They only respond to complaints with out checking out what caused it in the first place. Trolls took this to their advantage and used the report abuse features to get anyone they disagreed with banned. It took a while for others to catch on but they began doing the same thing to trolls. I think one of the trolls got perma banned as a result.

I quit the forum after one member of the forum threatened to expose a friend of mine who got scared and left the forum and another friend got permabanned because trolls didn't like her. One mod quit as well because she strongly disagreed with the perma ban. I thought that this member should have been permabanned for making that threat.

Now the forum is slowly dying because it's so troll infested. This is not the first time this has happened to the forum owner. One of his other sites died as well for the same reason.

21. Outstanding rebuttal

22. There are a few issues here

The broadcaster focused on only one issue - that of bullying. But there are other issues presented by this incident.

One is the substance of the email - is it OK for someone to be in the TV broadcasting business, or in any of the visual media, if they are overweight? The answer is, OF COURSE. People look different, always have and always will. Not every woman looks like Sofia Vergara and it would be genuinely creepy if they did.

Another issue is whether an overweight broadcaster is a poor role model. Maybe if she were being hypocritical, for instance criticizing viewers for not being in top physical condition. But the woman apparently is excellent at her job and is, in fact, a terrific role model for young women.

Should the broadcaster's weight should ever be an issue? I can see where it might. Viewers, especially the young, should be aware that obesity is a serious health problem and there are ways to treat it. Perhaps the broadcaster would be a good spokesperson for reporting on this important health issue.

and acne patients, smokers, dialysis patients, former athletes with head injuries, migraineurs, dental implant patients, transplant recipients, miscarriage sufferers, men with erectile dysfunction, etc. etc. are equally encouraged to make their bodies the subjects of educational reporting, then it would be fair to ask the same of her.

55. She's been on for years,

and I like her because as I watched the first times I 'tuned in', I thought "hey, great for WKBT, they aren't falling for the skin and bones anorectic type".

Good for you, Jennifer!

(Before a lot of school closings were automatically put on screen, I watched her channel a lot more on snow days, as they read the closings aloud. My job is to call those in, and I always have to watch to make sure our school showed up.)

30. Typical

As an obese man and a gastric bypass patient I can assure you the views expressed in that email are far too common. While watching my nephew play soccer a few weeks ago, I overheard a couple talking about how unnatural gastric bypass surgery was and were expressing their disgust/disdain for people at get gastric bypass surgery and their anger at having the government of Saskatchewan (Canada) pay for the procedure.

Obesity is without a doubt the last publicly acceptable form of bigotry.

36. Gastric Bypass Surgery

"As an obese man and a gastric bypass patient I can assure you the views expressed in that email are far too common. While watching my nephew play soccer a few weeks ago, I overheard a couple talking about how unnatural gastric bypass surgery was and were expressing their disgust/disdain for people at get gastric bypass surgery and their anger at having the government of Saskatchewan (Canada) pay for the procedure.

Obesity is without a doubt the last publicly acceptable form of bigotry."

There are a couple of things that disturb me about the reaction people have to gastric bypass surgery.

First, for people who think that bypass surgery is "elective" and is done merely for appearance sake, those people are absolutely wrong. Obesity, especially extreme obesity, is very damaging to health and bypass surgery gives very beneficial results. This is not just my opinion, it's the conclusion reached by many health studies. Granted it's not free from complications and there's no guarantee of long term success but it's the best shot extremely obese people have of living a longer, healthier and more active life.

Second, there are some who are critical of bypass surgery as evidence of society's lack of acceptance of overweight people. This is also nonsense. Bypass surgery is a very effective medical treatment of a serious health condition, no more, no less.

60. If you don't mind not talking about it, you can hide easier than gender, size or color.

Oppression by being forced to pretend to be something one is not, or not agreeing to popular thinking, is agony. Some people refuse to allow any difference of opinion.

That people cannot see what I think, that we don't have telepathy, is one thing that saves many of us. Freedom inside your own mind is essential, and if few people agree with me in the real world, it means little, so we always have that.

69. The world is, and always has been, a dangerous place. Civilization is only skin deep.

Many of us have, in this nation, lived in a bubble that is the result of the unity of New Deal idealism. There was more to Roosevelt than economics, and more to MLK than civil rights. They explored the depth inside themselves and kept on the path of love and believing that truth and justice were worth working toward. Both acknowledged that America is not so much a country as an ideal.

And it is not finished, even though the right wants us to believe it. Because they only understood the outside of the vision, never the living soul of it. The world can be a place of infinite creativity and learning. Or it can be stopped to fit a narrow view and not move to expand for life. There is no set path, although it was said by such men as Gandhi and the leaders of the Enlightment, that the universe trends toward justice and good outcomes.

We will evolve in one direction or another. The American people and the world can embrace the knowledge that will free us or hide the advantages from the masses in order to use them as lowly beasts. When I see some of these people on the right, all I feel are what I can't name anything but low or heavy vibrations. I don't have another name for it. There is a certain portion of the people in the USA who are quite content with what the right is offering, they are willing to hate and oppress and obtain pleasure and a sense of superiority and self-righteousness from it.

But we are still free in our minds, I just hope we will not succumb to what I would call a darkness. Rough ride ahead.

67. as someone else who had gastric bypass

you're preaching to the choir... i still get crap about it... from members of my own family....

"that just proves you have no self control since you needed to have your stomach removed."

"you took the easy way out."

"you should pray more and not bake so much...."

1 - fuck you. i was a depression/stress eater.

2- fuck you. i dare anyone who thinks i got off easy TRY to eat what i did for the first 5 weeks after surgery AND be in the same amount of pain i was in (i couldn't take the oxy, it backed me up, so i was left with kid's chewable asprin)

3- fuck you. i love to bake, i'm not quitting something that makes me happy, and now i just won't share any with you.

it takes more energy not to slap someone than it does to actually do it...

yes, this issue bothers me, even moreso when the morons saying this crap are in my family and should know better.

38. wonderful reply by a wonderful woman

39. I'll be a little unpopular here.

The guy was rude, he was an ass, but he wasn't a bully. Recasting that term the way she does here is no service for anyone.

Why? Because a bully is term we've used mostly to describe behavior in children, behavior which is criminal when done by adults. I mean, what do child bullies do to other children? To be accurate, they do things like assault, nonstop harassment, mob incitement, slander, liable, theft, property destruction, and extortion. Between adults, almost all of these are felonies. Adult bullies aren't like this guy. They're more like the Ku Klux Klan.

My point: if an adult is a bully, you don't give him a talking-to, you call the damn police. You can't compare what he did to what bullies actually do. Criticism that you can laugh off and get away from is not bullying. It becomes bullying-- and to an adult, a matter of harassment-- when it's not a just few words, when you can't get away from it, when you have to face it weekly, daily or monthly, or when it carries a threat.

Moreover, obesity is actually a health problem. You might see bulimia as a poor misguided way to try to prevent it, but if we had a better health system in this country, maybe harmful self-treatments wouldn't be the option young people would take?

I don't like how a real health issue, one that's killing people-- and one that's going to cause many, many deaths and untold years of suffering-- has now been recast as an issue of bullying, which it clearly isn't.

The idiot who wrote her is misinformed. Obesity is often not something a person can successfully treat themselves. Above a certain weight, the brain's mechanism for regulating diet and mass actually becomes damaged. So, they do need some sort of help, which isn't now forthcoming. However, if we're going to make merely noting it into the equivalent of a felony, how are we ever going address the issue? Definitely not by "bullying" people into avoiding it.

A bully isn't merely annoying; a rude person like him does not come near the heinousness of bullying. Especially when the physical feature he mentions only once, is a serious medical problem, actually, to be accurate, an illness.

48. Unless it damages your livelihood

. . . or is constant harassment, that you, of course, can't get away from because it's work, or brings you to public humiliation or disgrace, that's not what I would consider bullying.

Do you agree that childhood bullying involves actions that are criminal in adulthood? It's really a surprise that we let childhood bullying go on as long as it has. I think stopping it is the real key to changing this culture to the better.

But in trying to extend it to adult behavior, we've missed that point. Really, is there some flaw to my reasoning?

Why should it be used to designate behavior that's merely rude, boorish and ignorant? There's only one reason I could think of: because we've thought of it as normal thing in childhood for so long we expect it to be more normal and common in adulthood. When really it isn't, because in adulthood there are laws against it; and many bullies are either serving time or on probation and parole.

62. In what country are all of these people serving time for bullying?

72. Our country, USA

You haven't looked hard enough for people serving time for bullying. There are such people, but the actual charges they're imprisoned for are assault, extortion, murder, etc. If you had read my initial post, or read it with a little more attention, you'd know that's what I meant. Do you disagree? We've generally called bullying by different names when it has been inflicted by adults, and there have definitely been charges for it.

Just because something is illegal doesn't mean anybody gets charged. Murder by lynching was illegal throughout the South. Was that law ever applied before 1950? A bully can be in a position where different rules apply to him or her, or charges can be made, but can't be made to stick. It's still an illegal maneuver, just not by virtue of how the "Justice" system operates.

When you consider that people only became concerned about bullying as a category of adult crime in the last five years, then you'd know why it's hard to find people serving time for it by that name. It's a good development, even if I'm worried that people haven't thought carefully enough about what bullying entails.

65. I disagree with you. I see bullying in lots of places. Some is blatant and some is subtle.

My definition of bullying is the abuse of others with the intent to intimidate. Name calling is bullying. The bully in this case (not sure why we think it is a male) is clearly trying to intimidate this lady. In my opinion bullies must have an advantage to operate. In this case the bully thinks that he/she is superior to someone with a weight problem. George Zimmerman thought he was superior to Travon Martin because he was a Neighborhood Watch Captain with a gun. IMO he thought he could bully Travon.

My last boss was a bully. He used his position to push people around. He only picked on those that were at a disadvantage or in his mind, inferior to himself.

I have seen DU members bullied off of DU. Baiting, belittling, name calling, and gang pile ons were tools used to "cleanse" DU of those that dont meet the criteria of the Neighborhood Watch.

70. Zimmerman is under indictment

I understand your point, but there's something wrong with how you've reasoned it when your example could also be my example. You might try to argue he wouldn't have been indicted if Trayvon Martin hadn't died, and that would be true. However, if the laws had been applied fairly to Zimmerman under those conditions, yes, he would have ended up indicted for assault. Just because something is a crime doesn't necessarily mean anybody gets charged for it, and that's the problem the Zimmerman case underlines.

I realize also, he hasn't been convicted yet, but indictment is what would normally happen at this phase in the judicial process. At least it's going to trial.

I've already said, if you read everything I wrote, that if it threatens your livelihood, if it's something that you can't leave, can't escape day-to-day without taking a hit to your income, it's then harassment which is bullying. If you're boss is harassing you, insulting you, and so on, it's bullying. We're in agreement here. So, no other discussion on it is necessary.

What you describe on DU, however, is not bullying. I'd call it aggravation, especially when people have an Ignore option. Why didn't these members just put them on Ignore? In my experience, that puts and end to the name-calling pretty thoroughly. You ought to suggest that. Plus, they could always drop a note to the administrators if they feel singled out. It might work. They just had a major banishment today. Under your definition, BTW, what EarlG did might be considered the supreme bully tactic, but not under my definition. I mean, isn't it the biggest bully maneuver to keep you out of the schoolyard completely?

I'm sorry, hard arguing, name-calling, baiting, belittling, etc. those are cyber-aggravations and trolling, not bullying. When there's document dropping; real world threats, veiled or otherwise; character defamation; hacking; identity theft; spoofing: those are bullying. What you describe going on here isn't.

If what you describe is bullying, free speech itself is a doomed concept. We might as well not even pretend we have it in any capacity.

For the people who left DU due cyber-aggravation, does it occur to you that maybe they did it because they decided-- as this kept happening-- maybe, this community wasn't a good match for their POV? That kind of decision isn't made from bullying.

Bullying isn't when you're merely irritated or fed up. Bullying is when you're terrified, too. I doubt any of the people left out of terror. Except, perhaps, for a few who were paranoid, and/or afraid of most things.

We're simply opposed to each other if your definition encompasses trolling or cyber-aggravations now that I've made the distinctions explicit.

77. Frankly, your innuendo about legitimate rape...

. . . is a personal insult and has nothing to do with anything I said, not to mention a straw man and an effort to silence me without considering the merits of my argument. In other words, it's bullying under the broader definition you're arguing for. Ironic, I'd say.

But, it's not my definition. By mine, it's an annoyance. Come up with a real counter-argument. Where am I wrong here? More, how do you apply your bullying standard without making normal discussion such as yours into borderline criminal activity? Or have one without accusations and counter-acrimony about who's being the bully here?

And I've been bullied, very severely and long-term, I'll add. Constantly in school as a child and adolescent, and on the job as an adult. I know the distinction I'm making. If you consider yourself an expert on it due to your experience, I'd say mine gives me a Ph. D. Not that I'm inviting you to match it point-by-point . . . please don't go that direction. I deliberately kept my childhood out of my argument because it's irrelevant to my point, and yours.

40. I started INEXPLICABLY gaining

weight in my mid-30's. I am now 65 and have just found out, through my OWN efforts, that yes folks. I have a thyroid issue.

when you starve (either on purpose as I did or because of circumstance) your body begins producing a substance called REVERSE T3. The soul purpose of this hormone is to keep the body from using T3.

My doctor refused to test for it a few months back. I finally found a lab with an affordable price to run a full thyroid panel. My T3 to RT3 ratio should be >10 but it's 3.8.

There is FAR FAR more to obesity than someone with an uncontrolled appetite. I have been searching for answers for 30 years and am getting close to pinning down the cause and finding the "cure" for myself.

The person who sent that newsperson the NASTY email is a bigot. Everyone who is thin THINKS they know what causes obesity. They are completely and totally WRONG. These folks are getting it RIGHT:

Gary Taubes "Why we get fat and what to do about it"
Robert Atkins -- his work is being carried on by research scientists who KNOW he was on the right track and have the proof.
William Davis, MD "Wheat Belly"
Jack Kruse, MD www.jackkruse.com
Michael and Mary Dann Eades "Protein Power"
ANY site promoting a paleolithic diet (although even they don't have it quite right)

You do NOT need to starve to get/stay thin.
Fat will NOT kill you, quite the opposite.
Wheat WILL kill you after it makes you so obese you start to resemble Jabba the Hut
Calories DO NOT COUNT.
Exercise, if you are obese or any way unhealthy will shorten your life.

45. She's a GREAT role model

I would hazard to guess that a great many of her viewers are in the same boat especially if she's anywhere near the midwest. She's smart, attractive, well-dressed and comes across as genuinely kind and concerned about others. She's proof to an overweight kid that not all women on television are super model thin.

I would be more concerned about the health ramifications of young girls in the community who idolize a thin reporter with a body that is unattainable for them and choose anorexia or bulemia.

People can argue about whether it is unhealthy to be fat but I have a friend who likes to point out that she knows plenty of thin people on blood pressure medications.

57. Wow, what a wonderful speech!

58. hardly bullying

Uncool to send that to her, but most fat people are fat because they are ignorant of their own health, and/or addicted to garbage food.
I don't consider it on the same level as racial/sexual/handicap bullying. Those are things that people can't change.

64. It's not the fat people who are ignorant.

73. So you have diagnosed most fat people in the world?

"Most fat people are fat because they are ignorant of their own health, and/or addicted to garbage food."

Really? You know this how exactly? You have talked to most fat people and know they do NOT have a thyroid condition, have NOT quit smoking, have NOT recently been bed ridden, are NOT on steroid for medical reasons, do NOT have kidney problems.....The list of reasons that cause obesity are numerous, yet you have managed to diagnosis most every fat person.

I have recently quit smoking, yet again. I gain weight when I quit because my body no longer uses up excess calories by trying to clean out all the tar and smoke I put into it. I never eat junk food because I can't afford it. I work/live on a farm were I have access to very healthy food year round and do heavy physical labor. Yet, I had quit for 2 years and went back to smoking because I could NOT lose the weight. No matter what I did the weight kept adding on. Yet the moment I went back to smoking the weight just melted off.

I got more comments about my weight then I got from smoking. Yet smoking was worse for my body then the weight. Go figure.

59. k&DUrec

63. To the 103rd Chairborne Rangers in the overweight fight? Just stop.

Nutritionally, you're too stupid to behold. I don't know the idiot that called this particular woman out, but I'm betting the fingers reek of Cheetos. Good for her. I love it.

But you know what the really nice thing is? If this woman makes the decision to lose whatever weight she wants to, at the end of it all she's still quite pleasant, intelligent, independent and ready to take morons to task. Those bully folks? They remain stupid, locked into being morons for life.

Congrats, idiots. Embracing stupidity might be the first step of accepting it all. Then, and only then, maybe you halfwit dipshits can move beyond it.

66. That some quality news...

75. I disagree

its not ok to be fat. This woman received a polite critique in a private message. She was not insulted. She was not bullied. She is an opportunist who is exploiting this possibly fabricated incident to promote herself. She want attention , she wants to move up in her field. She is manipulating all of you.

83. "Possibly fabricated incident"?

Yeah, and she is possibly just wearing a fat suit, too.

WHATEVER!

Also, I understand people saying to themselves that it is not okay for themselves to be fat.
But, you want to make that call for other people? Do you think you have the right to tell other people "hey, you shouldn't be fat!" or what? If so, you are a Grade-A Asshole.

76. I love this woman. I just love her. She is a great person. nt

79. His name is Kenneth Krause of Lacrosse WI

Now he has released a statement saying that she should transform herself over the next year and he offered her support. This guy just doesn't get it. Did he write to Gov. Christie? Did he write to John Madden when he was on TV. Why has this guy singled out a woman? I think we all know why. I don't know him but his attitude smacks of narcissism and misogyny.

81. I love the age we live in

People all over the world are standing up to bullies. Christina Aguillara and Lady Gaga have done the same recently. I am so proud to be a woman right now. I am curvy and so is my daughter. I'm a little more curvy than my daughter. My daughter weighs all of 120 lbs and is worried white boys won't like her. She told me yesterday she needs a black boyfriend. All I want for her is for her to always love and respect herself and for her to find someone who will love and respect her as well. I remember being in high school, weighing 115 lbs and thinking I was fat. Oh, what I would give to go back and tell myself to enjoy being the size I was.

82. Too many people just assume a big person is unhealthy

I weigh 165 lbs. I visit my doctor regularly and am in perfect health. I do my best to eat healthy. I am not perfect which by the way neither are all of you who criticized those of us who are overweight. My cholesterol, blood pressure, and blood sugar are all fine. And I know skinny people who are in worse health than I am. So the next time you jump to the conclusion that a big person is a bad person ask yourself if you know anything about that person you are judging. And ask yourself why you don't look at skinny people and wonder if their cholesterol or blood pressure is normal.

85. Obesity is a serious health issue

I weigh 165 lbs. I visit my doctor regularly and am in perfect health. I do my best to eat healthy. I am not perfect which by the way neither are all of you who criticized those of us who are overweight. My cholesterol, blood pressure, and blood sugar are all fine. And I know skinny people who are in worse health than I am. So the next time you jump to the conclusion that a big person is a bad person ask yourself if you know anything about that person you are judging. And ask yourself why you don't look at skinny people and wonder if their cholesterol or blood pressure is normal.

Is there prejudice against obese people? Yes, of course there is.

But that doesn't change THE FACT that obesity is a serious health issue.

86. there are better ways to encourage health

Do we go around beating our children and assailing them with verbal abuse when they gain weight? No. Of course not. But when we treat each other that way we encourage our children to treat other children that way. If you want to address the obesity issue then you have a national health campaign encouraging people to eat healthy food and exercise. You know like Michelle Obama does. You don't go around shaming people into dieting. Not only is it cruel, it doesn't work. That kind of behavior just encourages deadly eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia.

87. by the way my obese MIL is not diabetic anymore

do you think people on the street who walk by her will know that? No they will just judge her simply on her size alone. The question is not whether people should be healthy. The question is, are all big people unhealthy and is it right to be prejudice and mean based on people's size. The answer to both questions is NO. You cannot help people by being condescending, belittling, prejudice and mean. You actually hurt people by behaving that way.