I love to cheat with bad boys

We live in his fantastic house with all mod cons, yet it's not enough for me.

I crave passion. I need physical rough-and-tumble and a challenge.

I fancy men who are the opposite of my partner - men who are difficult, moody and mean.

Looking back at the guys I've bedded over the past couple of years is like perusing a rogue's gallery of snarling, grubby, but utterly exciting bad boys.

I'd be mortified if any of my friends or family saw me with one of my secret lovers, but I can't keep away from them.

At the moment I'm sleeping with a fella who came to take down our scaffolding. I don't even know his real name as he doesn't speak much English, but he sets me on fire. The sex is wild and I'm left absolutely exhausted after our afternoon sessions.

My partner tends to get home at 7pm, so I make sure that I'm out drinking with pals so that I don't have to face him.

The reality is that the guilt is killing me. I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I can't help it. I can't even look at myself in the mirror.

Recently it was our anniversary and my partner showered me with jewellery and perfume. I felt so crap that I deliberately picked an argument and threw it all in his face. I said he was trying to buy me and accused him of being gay. He's not. I could see that he was really hurt and now he says that he forgives me.

But how can I forgive myself for being so mean?

JANE SAYS: I hate the way that you're spreading misery all around you. You're not happy, your loyal partner is confused and all of your friends are being lied to.

You can't expect to live in your partner's fantastic home, if you're not prepared to make any kind of effort for him.

What about talking to him about the state of your sex life? What about getting professional help with a sex therapist and going back to basics? He must be unhappy with the way things are too, so break your silence and suggest a fresh start.

How can you rebuild or mend your relationship when you're constantly bringing other guys into his bed? Where is the respect, the trust or the loyalty? If starting again with him isn't an option, then I suggest you sit down and really think about what it is you want out of life. If you're a thrill seeker who only really feels alive when she's taking chances and living on the edge, then be honest about it.

Tell your partner that this is not the life for you. Thank him for the time you've spent together and apologise for letting him down.

But that will mean walking away from your lovely home and all the trappings of his success. Can you do that? Are you bold enough to step out of your gilded cage? At the moment you're living a very dangerous and very selfish existence. You're inviting other men into your partner's bed and that's just not right or fair.