Dalkey Archive posts world's wackiest job listing

Unavailable at night or on the weekends? Like a little workplace gossip? Then you need not apply at Dalkey Archive Press.

Unavailable at night or on the weekends? Like a little workplace gossip? Then you need not apply at Dalkey Archive Press. (Carolyn Kellogg / Los Angeles Times)

By Carolyn Kellogg

On Wednesday, the Dalkey Archive Press posted an announcement in its employment section. Founding publisher John O'Brien, it said, will be stepping down. He's been with the press, which is known for publishing books that are avant-garde and experimental, since its inception in the 1980s. O'Brien's departure will be a significant change for the Illinois-based press; in 2009, he told The Times, "the press is purely an expression of my aesthetic interests and what I admire and like to read."

Here are the basic qualifications: "The Press is looking for promising candidates with an appropriate background who: have already demonstrated a strong interest in literary publishing; are very well read in literature in general and Dalkey Archive books in particular; are highly motivated and ambitious; are determined to have a career in publishing and will sacrifice to make that career happen; are willing to start off at a low-level salary and work their way upwards; possess multi-dimensional skills that will be applied to work at the Press; look forward to undergoing a rigorous and challenging probationary period either as an intern or employee; want to work at Dalkey Archive Press doing whatever is required of them to make the Press succeed; do not have any other commitments (personal or professional) that will interfere with their work at the Press (family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations, degrees to be finished, holidays to be taken, weddings to attend in Rio, etc.); know how to act and behave in a professional office environment with high standards of performance; and who have a commitment to excellence that can be demonstrated on a day-to-day basis. DO NOT APPLY IF ALL OF THE ABOVE DOES NOT DESCRIBE YOU."

So, yes, no weddings in Rio. That will be enabled by the fact that international plane tickets will be beyond your budget: the positions are expected to be unpaid internships (with some possible exceptions).

Not wacky enough for you? How about this: Any of the following will be "grounds for immediate dismissal during the probationary period":

coming in late or leaving early without prior permission

being unavailable at night or on the weekends

failing to meet any goals

giving unsolicited advice about how to run things

taking personal phone calls during work hours

gossiping

misusing company property, including surfing the Internet while at work

submission of poorly written materials

creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument

failing to respond to emails in a timely way

not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial

making repeated mistakes

violating company policies

Job responsibilities include, in descending order, personal assistant to the publisher, development/fundraising, office manager, production/layout/design, editor, publicist, marketing manager, and Web manager. Applications -- which should include a CV, reference letters and a cover letter, so read the actual job description, lest you get something wrong -- should be submitted to o.brien@dalkeyarchive.com