July 6, 2004

A new website tells sexy liberals how they can help beat Bush by promising to fuck a conservative in exchange for his or her guarantee not to support Bush.

Fuck the Vote is part satire and part activism, taking cues from both MTV’s Rock the Vote campaign and from the porn industry; the website shows pictures of the growing number of liberal male and female models ready to knock boots to knock out Bush.

The group will launch a bus tour through swinger states this summer and will end up at the Republican National Convention on August 30.

As the Republican hordes descend upon New York in search of validation and pleasure, Fuck the Vote will be firmly positioned near the convention site in a bus with a fold-out bed in the back.

While the GOP sells itself at the Garden, Nathan Martin, who started the project, hopes the party’s faithful might also sell or trade their votes for sex with hot Fuck the Vote models.

At a conference for hackers in midtown on Sunday, Martin presented his project to cheers and laughs.

“Liberals are hotter than conservatives,” Martin said, explaining that Fuck the Vote hopes to use this scientifically unproven fact to get liberals to bed conservatives in exchange for a pledge not to vote for George W. Bush.

“This is one tactic that can’t be appropriated by the right,” which he said has accused “liberal sex laws” of ruining our country. The truth is even supposed conservatives like Jack Ryan enjoy sex and want to have more of it—Ryan was forced to drop out of the Illinois senate race because divorce court documents alleged that he pressured his wife into going to sex clubs. Maybe now Ryan can get what he wanted, and all it will cost him is a vote.