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Honest Answers To My Honest Struggles

Motivation is not something you can search for, and it can’t ever be found. Motivation is instead a byproduct of TAKING action.

Every day I get up and get my butt moving in order to keep the happiness I have worked so hard to build up. There are always a few days each week that I workout, or sit down to do my work, and I am kicking and screaming the whole time until I tell myself “I am not quitting, so I might as well finish with a good attitude.”

Honestly, what keeps me going is knowing that if I give up, I start to loath myself and those around me for no reason. I don’t want to have anymore pity parties, selfish thoughts, hurtful opinions and wasted days full of sadness or depression just because I don’t feel like working a little harder for my happiness.

When times get rough, when I feel stuck or when I have let myself indulge a little too much, I go back to what works. I don’t look for short cuts like I used to. I remember that it is going to take a lot of time to get back to feeling good again. Whenever I feel this way there is a magical list that I follow that I am willing to share with you… Print this list out and put a check mark every day next to each one. I promise that in 3-6 weeks you will have a whole new outlook on life. Not a long time to be a bit uncomfortable compared to the choice of not doing it, and being unhappy your entire life, right?

Here is my LIVE WITH NO REGRETS list of how to love you again:

Say this OUT LOUD: “I PROMISE TO FOLLOW THIS LIST UNTIL I FEEL LIKE THE BEST VERSION OF ME”

–Cut back on the crap food – No processed food. We are what we eat and your body can’t function on junk. The first few days are tough because your taste buds need to adjust to what healthy food tastes like again.

-Don’t go all or nothing on me! Allow yourself small bites or portions of what you are craving each day. That way you will slowly ween yourself off and not feel like you are being deprived and want to binge.

-Workout everyday even if you want to cry during each session or walk – keep a tissue in your pocket and keep going. You may just enjoy a good public breakdown;)

-Avoid negative people at all costs – even if this means dodging your moms calls and writing her an email instead for a week

-Make a playlist of music so positive that it annoys you, then listen and try dancing to it with a smile on your face

-Turn the TV off and pick up a book or go for a walk! News and TV are the two biggest culprits of wasted time and depression

-Day dream again – force yourself to imagine living out your biggest goals and dreams

-Make a dream board or get a white board and write down what you really want out of life in 30-60-90 day chunks. Only use “I will” and “I am” anytime you think of your goals or write them down.

-No alcohol or limit to one drink a week – Alcohol will worsen emotions of sadness. It will also disrupt your sleep and make you feel even more tired the next day.

-Get More water, fruit and veggies

-Get Tons of sleep – This will help your body burn fat and alleviate stress!

-Eat out less. Instead, Prep your food and plan each day the night before

-Make a list of 3 things each day that would make you feel productive and get them done

-Make unbreakable appointments with people or family for fitness activities

-Invest in myself through books and self help seminars

-Help someone reach a goal so I can get outside of myself and my petty problems

-Let go of any anger, grudges or emotional ties to a story that I made up in my head about a circumstance that may have happened with someone or something.

-Stop taking things so personal

-Leave the space or area that is making you feel bad – go work somewhere else if possible, take a walk or find an inspiring place to think until you have a better attitude.

If you think I haven’t seen struggle you are nuts! I just stopped believing the “story” I’ve been told by others and by myself. Instead of using it for my “feel bad for myself” excuse, I started viewing it as my reason to work harder and bust through some walls!

I was a heavy kid and I come from an overweight family. I was also home-schooled through high school, so I never felt like I was smart enough to go after my dreams. My family has seen more challenges than I have room to write, but I am grateful that it has helped me relate to people and made me much stronger. Every night since I was 8 years old I would go to bed dreaming of what I would do to finally get the life and body that I wanted. I would wake up with thoughts of what diet I was going to stick to, and then later that day I would binge and feel like a failure. The one thing I will tell you is that every time I went off track and tried to pull back even more, get more strict and try something new, the more I pigged-out and started the cycle again. I finally realized I just needed to stick with slow and steady, no matter how freaking SLOW it felt. It is the only thing that works.

Remember you are more than your body. People rely on you and need you! If they don’t, then you need to join some group activities and PARTICIPATE! There is no reason to have a pity party or say you don’t have people or friends that care about you. Make people miss and need you by contributing positivity to others lives or people will not want you around! Positive seeks positive, so to attract these supportive groups, you must first act positive and be supportive! I know it seems backwards but this is the secret answer that all successful people know. You must first be the change in order to get more of it in your life…

If you are not willing to fight for your happiness, then you have no right to complain that your life is not where you want it to be. Everyone has struggles but the most happy, successful people don’t sweat the small stuff, complain or dwell on their obstacles. They see their obstacles as fuel for the fire!

Successful people don’t have time to analyze why something went wrong, because they are busy planning ways to drive a Mac truck through the problem! Life does not happen to successful people, they MAKE IT HAPPEN. Patience and hard work is the only way to do this. Don’t bother looking for a quick path because there isn’t one. At the end of the day we choose our destiny.

Rewrite your story, and redefine what you thought you were capable of. You are never stuck. You either choose to stay where you are or slowly change your environment and life. Don’t be a drain on those around you. Choose to make the world a better place somehow. There is a reason each of you are here. Answer that burning question in your heart before it goes out. Follow the list above and I promise that will reignite the fire in your heart!

Don’t waste this beautiful life wishing… I’m Signing off with the some lyrics that have moved me, and I hope do the same for you,

“I was here” by Beyonce:

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time

Know there was something that

Meant something that I left behind

When I leave this world,

I’ll leave no regrets

Leave something to remember,

So they won’t forget

I was here…

I lived, I loved

I was here…

I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted

And it was more than I thought it would be

I will leave my mark so everyone will know

I was here…

I want to say I lived each day,

Until I die

And know that I meant something in somebody’s life

The hearts I have touched,

Will be the proof that I leave

That I made a difference

And this world will see

[ Lyrics from

I was here…

I lived, I loved

I was here…

I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted

And it was more than I thought it would be

I will leave my mark so everyone will know

I was here…

I lived, I loved

I was here…

I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted

And it was more than I thought it would be

I will leave my mark so everyone will know

I was here…

I just want them to know

That I gave my all,

Did my best

Brought someone some happiness

Left this world a little better just because…

I was here…

I was here…

I lived, I loved

I was here…

I did, I’ve done, everything that I wanted

And it was more than I thought it would be

I wanna leave my mark so everyone will know

I was here…

I am forever grateful for all of you Busy Girls and the outpouring of love and support you always give! I hope this blog inspires you to give that extra push toward your greatness.