Author of the savagely funny debut novel, Anti-Social Media

Dedicated follower of, er, fashion?

After my embarrassing failure to commit and write a blog every day, I am back after a month’s exodus, which I can only blame on Christmas, moving house and having no internet for several years because of the move. I can only blame it on these otherwise I would have to take personal responsibility for being lazy, failing to commit and having no discipline.

Having been following an austerity programme in my household for the past year, equalled only by the way George Smugborne is currently vilifying the poor, I had finally had enough. I burst through my restraints and let loose in the shopping centre. Clothes, clothes, clothes. I couldn’t f*cking wait! I danced my way from shop to shop, my liberation and enthusiasm becoming less and less… well… enthusiastic as I examined the wares.

After having visited shop number three, and finding nothing but crappy thin t-shirts and colourful jumpers and trousers that Will Smith probably wore in the Fresh Prince, I ground to a halt.

‘Seriously?’ I exclaimed in the middle of the shop. ‘Really?’ A few people gave me odd looks but continued to flick depondently through the racks. We’re not the most sociable bunch are we, the British?

I could not find one poxy thing I liked, that wasn’t paper thin. Last year I went on a mission to find a pair of jeans that were actually made of denim and not just some stretchy material, only this was to no avail either. A nice thick jersey or t-shirt that doesn’t show your bra, let alone your freckles through it would also be nice.

I’ve always followed fashion to a point, but I’ve always had my own style. I could find nothing that would fit into my own wardrobe out of this flimsy trash.

So if anyone’s had any great finds or has any suggestions for good shops or websites, I would love to hear about them!