Saturday, 9 December 2006

Impossible

Because 1) my sister moaned at me for not updating yesterday meaning she had nothing to read when she was bored, and 2) I have several half done entries I want to finish off, here's the third update of the day one that's been sitting half finished on my wordpress dashboard for a week.

A few weeks ago I downloaded some Disney songs from limewire. One of which was Impossible which is sung by Whitney Houston and Brandy. It's from a version of Cinderella (but not one I've seen!). I love it.

I thought that the lyrics worked quite well from a CP point of view, particularly the chorus. My thought was that to start with everything is "impossible" and that is how a lot of people view my life because of my CP. People will tell me I can't do stuff even when they don't know me. For example, people have stopped me on the street to tell me I will never get my wheelchair into places that I know I can because I've done it many times before. And once a client at work was waiting outside the bureau for us to open, he was adament that I couldn't go in there because "they aren't open yet sweetheart." and when I told him that I was going in because I worked there he was openly shocked.

But I have proved to myself and to my doubters time and time again that I can do things. Very little is actually impossible to me and when it is it is never because of my CP but because of the barriers society put in my way and their disabling effect on me.

Proving to myself and others is hard work and unfortunately it never stops. I have had to be the trailblazer literally my whole life. At my primary school I was their second disabled student, the first was two or so years older than me and I was also the most disabled. At my secondary school of over 1000 pupils when I first started their were five of us in chairs, two due to illness not disability, one (my friend Sarah) who started at the same time as me and is also a CP-er and one substantially older with a very different type of disability and more mobility. So again we had to fight for my rights and work down this path.

And then I went to college to do my a'levels. I was the first person with a physical disability to do a'levels. They seemed to be better equipped to deal with my cp, part of this was obviously due to the physical set up and the scheduling that everyone had but part of it also came down to staff attitude - I was given choice in the way my needs were met and my thoughts etc were taken into account. Changes that I wanted or suggested were not turned down or pooh poohed out of hand. Part of them again stems from the fact that FE colleges treat their students as adults but a bigger part was the fact that whilst CP/disability and a'levels were new to them, disability was not. Sure there was one time on a trip where one of my tutors learnt the hard way that CP is cerebral palsy not Can't Participate. (she believed out of four activities that morning I would have to sit out of three - I sat out of one and only then because I'd got a bucket of water over me and was changing clothes).

And the line about "don't believe in sensible rules" That is my parents. I've known for a long time that I wouldn't be where I am now if my parents hadn't pushed me and pushed me and fought for me constantly despite the fact that society at times reviled them for it. But you know what, I have strong parents. For some reason I never thought of that before until I was talking with Sheila from the Shaw Trust on Friday and she asked if my Mum was strong. I said yes and she said said she could tell because I am strong and a fighter. For some reason before then I only ever accepted that as being who my parents are. The amount of strength it must have taken them to raise a child with CP never occurred to me before Friday.

So the song rang a chord within me. However it stuck me that it could be reworked to make it more "CP relevant". So here goes: Impossible by Brandy and Whitney Houston - CP Style

[Fairy God Mother]Impossible, for a sick little premie to survive and live aloneImpossible, for a CP-er and a wheelchair user to make it on her ownAnd that little crip will never learn or workOf such fol-de-rol and fiddledy dee all talk is, Impossible

But the world is full of zanies and foolsWho don’t believe in sensible rulesAnd won’t believe what sensible people sayAnd because these daft and dewey-eyed dopesKeep building up impossible hopesImpossible things are happening every day

[Cinderella & Fairy God Mother]Impossible, Impossible, Impossible, ImpossibleImpossible, Impossible, Impossible...(music..)[Cinderella]Its possible, for a sick little premie to survive and live aloneIts possible, for CP-er and a wheelchair user to make it on her ownAnd that little crip learns and worksOf such fol-de-rol and fiddledy dee all talk is, quite possibleIt's possible

[Both]For the world is full of zanies and foolsWho don’t believe in sensible rulesAnd won’t believe what sensible people sayAnd because these daft and dewey-eyed dopesKeep building up impossible hopesImpossible, things are happening every day