A Swiss banker who attempted a drink-and-drive on his scooter after a night at the pub is banned from driving and will pay a big fine for his misdemeanor. His best excuse was that he never actually rode on the road (having been stopped by wily police before he escaped the parking lot).

Michael Lewis told Vanity Fair "the world would be better off without Goldman Sachs" because "in the last six or seven years... they made an awful lot of money getting people to do stuff that never should have been done" because they have a moral justification for it.

A Connecticut hedge funder was arrested for running a weed operation"capable of producing a marijuana crop year round.” But Tara Bryson, head of investor relations for New Stream Capital, and her boyfriend, claim that the only thing they farm, is goats.

Two former Citibankers claim that firm failed to responsibly manage the trust fund of 104-year-old mining heiress, Huguette Clark. Clark doesn't care about the money, but the Citibankers, John Cullen and Veronica Juliano, are demanding the bank be investigated for not investing Clark's money properly. Citi says the allegation are 'entirely baseless.’

An incentive in the Dodd-Frank regulation that provides larger bounties for corporate whistleblowers - as much as 30% of the penalties and recovered funds, is being trumpeted by lawyers. “We’ve gotten some very high-quality tips,” one SEC official told the WSJ.

BONUS: Australia's Sydney Herald grapples with the age old dispute, pin stripes: gangster or banker? The best line: "the chalk-stripe... conjures up images of investment bankers and Fleet Street professionals. Instead of gangsters taking your money without you knowing, these guys do it with your full knowledge... but they do look sharp."

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Gossip Grind: Today's Wall Street Buzz in 60 Seconds

A banker tries to ride his scooter drunk and is banned from driving, two Citibankers are weirdly - and aggresively - interested in how the bank managed an heiresses' fortune that she couldn't care less about, and ...