4 Sports T-Shirts That Your Favorite Player Secretly Wears

Generally, athletes aren’t known for their senses of humor. They go out, play their game, offer up as many boring cliches as possible until reporters get the idea and stop asking them questions, and then go home. So the idea of them walking around wearing an awesome, funny, or awesomely funny sports t-shirt is just insane, right?

Probably. But that doesn’t mean we can’t imagine what certain jocks would wear if their wooden personalities allowed it. Hell, maybe they do wear these shirts, but only in private or under at least five different uniforms. We’re thinking…

Alex Rodriguez

Obviously, A-Rod will never admit he did anything wrong. And while he may or may not have dabbled in steroids a few times early in his career, he certainly hasn’t done it every day, non-stop, from the day he started hitting baseballs up until right now.

He won’t admit that, and he certainly wouldn’t admit how he wished baseball would stop testing so much and go back to the good ol’ days of guys so big they made Hulk Hogan look like the class nerd, but maybe this sports shirt would. Of course, he would keep it very well hidden, because such statements are forbidden in today’s totally clean, completely drug-free sports world. But when he goes home, he proudly struts around with this shirt, letting his freak(ishly over-muscled) flag fly.

Michael Jordan

The greatest basketball player in history wouldn’t be caught dead in a funny sports t-shirt, even in private. He’s too damn serious and self-aware for such tomfoolery. Seriously, name any one of his many, many commercials and segments where he plays the fool. You can’t — even while eating a Bugs Bunny tongue kiss in Space Jam, he still made sure to look like the coolest dude on the block while doing so.

MJ would, however, wear this awesome t-shirt that highlights just how legendary and memorable he truly was. King of Chicago? Absolutely, and if you don’t believe him, just ask him. In fact, he wouldn’t even wear this under anything — he’d proudly flaunt it to the world. This IS the same guy who thought nobody would complain if he wore a Hitler mustache, after all.

Matt Cooke

Matt Cooke is perhaps the biggest goon in hockey today, proudly boasting over 1000 penalty minutes to his name. In an era where talking heads constantly bray on and on about whether hockey fights should be banned, Cooke has based his whole career on them, fully aware that they’re what the fans want to see. So maybe this funny shirt isn’t the nicest, fuzziest sentiment on the planet, but it’s the truth, one the always-employable Cooke knows full well.

Eli Manning

Just because you’re a major star, doesn’t mean you’re not a troll at heart. And even though it’s been seven years since his New York Giants ruined the New England Patriots’ perfect season at the worst possible time (the Super Bowl, namely,) we like to think Eli still likes to rub it in. And if so, him walking around with an “18-1” shirt only makes sense. As long as he doesn’t do it in New England. That would be just plain stupid, and possibly dangerous.