At six-foot-two, my partner has to squat right down and awkwardly clamber his way up through the very narrow, stark white, spiral stairwell to reach our room – the pitfall of bedding down in a former 15th century Spanish watch tower. Two very enthusiastic porters scurry ahead as though they're ferrying a change of towels and not our 23 kilogram-a-piece luggage sets.

Then we set foot in the suite, and it just about swallows us up.

There's the grand bedroom with its colonial four-poster king, the sprawling loft bathroom, fit out with a twin-vanity, rain shower and tub fit for a giant.

We venture higher up the coiled stairwell and reach the upper-level AV/sunroom and bar, which spills out onto a private terrace decked with sunbeds, a cushy banquette and a dining table – views of the majestic Tramutana Mountains extending out at our rear, a gash of Deià's turquoise coastline in the fore. It's a majestic view, from a majestic spot, both of us suddenly feeling like royalty as we settle into our plush private tower, home for the next two days.

We're staying at La Residencia in Mallorca, part of the lavish Belmond luxury hotel and travel portfolio. Scanning the resort quickly, we clock tennis courts (tick) and three luscious pools (tick) – one of which we're told is adults-only (big fat tick). From this distance, they pop out like inviting, azure little puddles on an otherwise arid and monochrome backdrop; I make a mental note to test them out post-haste.

Photo: Supplied. Views of the Trumutana Mountains from a private terrace villa

Photo: Supplied. The resort's spa offer prime Deià sunset viewing

Oh, and that's not even including the hotel spa's serene indoor pool and dreamy open-air Jacuzzi just out of range — the latter of which, we discover, is the perfect vantage point to take in one of those legendary Deià sunsets.

All in all, it's actually quite remarkable how seamlessly the hotel's earthen stone villas, towers and passageways blend into the Spanish mountainside – but that's where the neutral colour scheme comes to an abrupt halt.

Because step inside any of the resort's buildings, and you'll be smacked over the head with modern art.

Photo: Supplied. La Residencia's award-winning spa.

Photo: Supplied. Massage with a view at the in-house day spa.

Channel your inner artiste

It's bold. It's colourful. And it's everywhere. From the private suites to the resort restaurants – of which there are many, more on that shortly – walls are crowded with canvases and ornate frames, every shape and size.

La Res, as it's known to returning regulars, has a particular fondness for the works of Spanish artist Joan Miró it seems – remarkably, dozens of his works adorn the public rooms, on loan from the famous artist's family.

The late artist himself had been a regular visitor to Deià, proceeding a long line of high-profile creatives – artists and writers – who drew inspiration from the picturesque region, most famously British poet Robert Graves, author of I, Claudius.

At this end of the price scale (rooms start at $1145/night), you come to expect some one-of-a-kind perks, and Le Res sure does luxury well – push-button service by the pool daybeds, white tablecloth degustation dinners under the stars, a serve-yourself mimosa and bloody Mary station at the breakfast bar.

But La Residencia isn't trying to be another luxury hotel, and its individually shines through in a number of novel ways.

Photo: Supplied. Guests can relax in their own private terrace, complete with daybed and a dining table for two.

Photo: Supplied. There's a range of accommodation styles available, from the sprawling villas and suites to the simple rooms.

For the longest time, Mallorca attracted the kind of folk who chased suntans, beaches and parties. But the little island – and this is particularly true for the village of Deià – is proving itself as quite the arts and culture Mecca.

This is echoed in the hotel's private art studio, helmed by Alan Hyde, a Brit and former BBC arts reporter who with his wiry grey mane and deeply bronzed complexion looks every bit the expat artist when we meet him.

Want to splotch up an oil-on-canvas memento to take back home? Wander in to Hyde's breezy studio for some face-time – and brush-time —with the master, and let the man's cheery floral still-lifes inspire something equally carefree and colourful.

At the foot of our tower suite, the hotel's private Sa Tefona gallery hosts an ever-changing roster of artists – at the time of our visit, it's showcasing a collection of stunning French Jacquard woven tapestries from art house Jules Pansu, depicting famous paintings of Picasso and Miro in fabric that seem to jump right off the wall.

It's no wonder Princess Diana famously took sanctuary here during her high-profile divorce – the royal was an avid supporter of the arts, and certainly a princess wouldn't feel out place here.

Photo: Supplied. Romantic dinners with a view of Deià village.

Activities

The hotel's unique offerings aren't limited to oil painting, either; care for a donkey-guided stroll through the hotel's olive groves? Or how about a helicopter circuit of the Balearic Islands?

The activities run at different times of the week, but when we're due to stay I know there's a boat excursion leaving from nearby Sóller promising two glorious hours of hidden coves, dreamy bluffs and dips in the Mediterranean.

We're told over email to wait and book activities on arrival, but by check-in they've already run out of spots on the transfer bus for the following day's tour. The set-back steers us into doing a little two-wheeled beach hopping of our own – the hotel arranges scooter hire, and home base is just a short ride to Cala de Daia, where you can cool off in the pebbly inlet or enjoy a simple seafood lunch at Ca's Patro March. Further afield, the ride to the Port de Sóller lighthouse is a fun one if you're after a mini-adventure but don't want to stray too far from the resort's dreamy pools.

Photo: Supplied. The pool beckons against an arid backdrop.

Photo: Rustic white walls and terracotta tiled floors are in keeping with the stunning region

Dining

At least I have the foresight to pre-book dinner at the hotel's culinary pride and joy, El Olivo, months before our stay, and there's a few reasons I'm very excited, least of all because of that drop dead gorgeous vista from the courtyard, framed by two knobbly olive trees.

Head chef Guillermo Mendez is a champion for his island home – having trained as a chef in nearby Port de Sóller from age 14, you'd be hard-pressed finding someone with a more intimate knowledge of or passion for its shining culinary exports.

The Sóller prawn is famous here, and Mendez offers a whimsical take, serving them "la plancha" (flame-grilled) in a custom-made wooden box, the shellfish lined up like red toy soldiers on a bed of rock salt. There are a couple degustation options, including a "Clasicos", parading the most popular dishes, and a "Extravaganza," consisting the more recent offerings. Just be sure to wear something loose.

Art weaves its way into the menu as well, but not in the pretentious guise of foams and jellies –Mendez has worked closely with artists from the local village to create beautiful bespoke dinnerware and ceramics designed to complement his dishes.

There's a range of more casual eateries in the resort for those who want to live in their denims and thongs for the next few days, including Café Miro next door, serving up paella and other Spanish specialties to a soundtrack of pop piano. La Res's Pool Restaurant does a mean woodfire pizza, while Son Fony may just be the world's prettiest buffet breakfast, with hot menu items made to order and tables offering plush views of the main pool and Tramuntana Mountains.

Bidding farewell

Goodbyes are never easy. When Richard Branson sold his beloved La Residencia to Orient Express (now Belmond) back in 2002, it was a decision he would allegedly regret forever. And well, if he didn't have that whole billionaire philanthropist thing going for him, I'd almost feel sorry for him.

When we leave for the airport, I already miss our grand tower, poky stairs and all. Two days of feasting on art, sumptuous Spanish food and princess-worthy views has spoiled us, as we head back to our significantly more humble castillo in Sydney.

The writer stayed as a guess of Belmond La Residencia. For more information and bookings visit the website, belmond.com.