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I think my DD is being abused.

My DD has always been a.sweet, outgoing, caring girl. But ever since she started dating her current boyfriend she has been a recluse almost. She bearly talks to me and when she does shes always looking away or anxious or something. Ive noticed bruises on her face but when I ask her about them she gets angry and says its nothing mom I was being clumsy. Shes been dating this new guy for about three months now and daily her whole.... everything that makes her HER is just fading. I tried talking to her and she told me shes an adult and can handle herself. She is 19 and lives with me while shes in college so I cant really force her to break up with him its not like shes 13 or something. I just miss my little girl. Does anyone know of ways I can try bringing this up without her shutting down?

I was in her shoes. I was never hit but he controlled everything. I was not me any more. I was knocked down mentally. My mom told me if I ever need to talk that she was there for me and thankfully after 8 years I am no longer with him and have found an amazing man who puts me first and every day makes sure I'm ok. I know its different with her and she is being hit and abused. You can call the abuse hotline and talk to them if she wont. You can also try and talk to him. Just don't give up on her she will need you when she gets away from him. I know that when I was told my ex was no good and I should leave him, I didn't want to hear that. She has to realize it herself thar she doesn't deserve this.

Find a counselor in your area that specializes in domestic abuse and ask them what to do. S/he will have ideas on how to address it, how to make it stop, and how to help your daughter heal and find better people to spend her time with. This way you're talking to the counselor first and not comin at your daughter head on, which could spark an argument that ends with her living with this guy.

Quoting Anonymous: Thank you so much I definitely do not want to chase her away

Quoting Blackburn3:

Hugs Mama > First off I was your dd 15 years ago and yes I was being physically abused and emotionally abused from my boyfriend at the time. I also lived with my parents and going to collage. The best advice I can give u is just be there for your dd and offer support but do not try and forbid her to see him or try to interfer to much. The last thing u want is your dd to turn away from u and run right into his arms. Now I am not saying ignore it just go slow suggest therapy. Unfortunately I had to find out myself and break up with my boyfriend and my parents did everything in their power to protect me including hiding me for three months to protect me. It worked and I realized my parents were right all along and always listened to their concerns from then on . Good Luck mama

No u do not than your dds future in is in the hands of the abuser. Like I Said just offer her support trust u brought her up right and she will open her eyes soon. I would sit down with her and try and talk see if she will open up but if she gets defensive drop it. Maybe see if u can talk to any friends to see if they can talk to her. Last just be there to pick up the pieces. Remember she is an adult.

The only thing you can do, is be there for her. Let her know that when she's ready to get rid of him you will be there for her to help her through it.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:27 AM

Ive bearly even met him he walked to the door once to pick her up when they first started dating. But ever since he texts her or something when hes here I dont even know him so I wouldnt want to talk to him!

Quoting loveablej: I was in her shoes. I was never hit but he controlled everything. I was not me any more. I was knocked down mentally. My mom told me if I ever need to talk that she was there for me and thankfully after 8 years I am no longer with him and have found an amazing man who puts me first and every day makes sure I'm ok. I know its different with her and she is being hit and abused. You can call the abuse hotline and talk to them if she wont. You can also try and talk to him. Just don't give up on her she will need you when she gets away from him. I know that when I was told my ex was no good and I should leave him, I didn't want to hear that. She has to realize it herself thar she doesn't deserve this.

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