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> I've been sober now for three weeks. One more and I'll win the bet.> Then I can resume drinking.>> What should I have? Scotch, vodka, or Guiness?>> (You owe the Supplicant that you won't forget to pay on that bet.)

} Do you think I'm in the habit of making bets I can't "win"? (And with} some bets my "loss" is really a win.) Our bet was that you would HAVE} NO ALCOHOL, as you may recall (you do). You thought you were being} clever when you clarified the bet to allow drinking of other stuff. You} failed (but I didn't) to consider all of the alcohol you drink without} thinking about it. Today alone you:}} - The OJ with your breakfast today was 0.2% ABV.} - The carrot cake with lunch used 41% ABV vanilla extract in the} icing.} - The three pieces of "sugar free" candy you ate during your three} passes by the reception desk is sweetened with sorbitol, which if} you remember your chemistry (you don't, but I do), gives away its} true nature with that -itol suffix.}} So I think rather than how I pay off my debt, I think we should be} discussing how you pay yours. But don't worry, I've already taken the} liberty of ordering that manatee costume. I think (okay, know) it will} be a little tight on you, but nothing a little Crisco can't solve.}} You are (okay, I am) going to have so much fun.

} Precisely. Well, almost precisely.}} You DID save all the booze, didn't you?}} Look, you can't possibly drink it all before it goes bad. You owe the} Oracle all that booze except for what you drank this morning. Gaak} you smell like alcohol. Don't light up a cigarette or you'll explode.

} Starring Demona Seaberry, set in Heart's Location, New Hampster, a} town so small that nobody lives there, every week tugs at suspension} and disbelief.}} But somebody dies there, each and every week, mostly by falling off a} mountain or drinking seawater. Demona is hopelessly inept, and never} solves the mystery of "Who died this time?" before the show ends.}} Although set in Heart's Location (named after the real location} located in Hart's Location, New Hampshire) it is filmed in} Manchester-by-the-Sea, Massachusetts, a town that simply oozes "quaint"} and Manchester-by-the-Smell, New Hampshire, a city that simply oozes.

> Microstannic Oracle, I have a tin ear and write poetry that is nearly> half as bad as William McGonagall's. I would like to be known as a> good poet, rather than (to quote a recent review) "Gives a good> challenge to Vogons everywhere and even slightly to William> McGonagall.">> Please write me some good poetry that I can claim as my own.>> In return I'll write a poem about you. Here it is.>> The Oracle Fine is comparable> To overcoats that are wearable> On a hot summer day when you don't> Need any sort of overcoat.

} STOCKHOLM(Reuters)}} Riots ensued in Sweden's capital city, Stockholm, tonight after the} most scandalous Nobel price ceremony ever. When the recipient of this} years Literature price, Mr Supplicant, was to hold his acceptance} speech, it became evident that he was completely unable to form a} single comprehensible sentence. After a lengthy and embarrassing} Q/A-session, Mr Supplicant was forced to admit that his award winning} poetry was not the works of himself, but that of a mystical Internet} entity, known only as The Oracle.}} The lynching mob chased Supplicant all over town, before force feeding} him with a bucket of the Swedish national dish 'Surstromming',} followed by two helpings of herring cream cake for dessert, all} accompanied by half a liter of castoreum moonshine.}} In a comment to local newspapers Mr Supplicant simply says} 'BLUERGHHHHH!!!!!!'.}} Mr Supplicant was supposed to visit the neighbouring country of Norway} the next weeks, but after rumours that the audiences where stacking up} on lutefisk and smalahovud, the tour was canceled.}} A spokesman for The Oracle says that The Oracle is terribly} disappointed of Mr Supplicant's betrayal, and wishes that the price} money should be transferred to The Oracle's favourite charity,} 'Deities for the Unethical Treatment of Rodents'.}} The Nobel Price committee has issued a statement where they apologize} to The Oracle, and promising to comply with The Oracles demands.

> I have just discovered that there is a horrid problem with the rising> of the sea level. I think it is going to go up by 24 feet here in New> York, which means it will have to go down by 24 feet in Paris. (In> case you are in Paris that will be in meters, which is rougely five, I> think, maybe. Or perhaps 15. These things are hard to comprehend.)>> Please tell me how to know the exact sea level, especially because I> think that will mean we have to make the moon hold still while we> measure it. And the waves to stop slurping. And in Paris, too.>> While you are busy thinking about it, also tell me how to convert> distances from French into Farenheight.