Why being a student is like being really rich

With the new academic year about to go into full swing, many of us are anticipating the return to the penny-pinching student budget.

No more free food, laundry and electricity at all hours of the day. We’re paying our own way again. Ouch. It hurts even more if you couldn’t find a job over the summer.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. If you ever need a pick me up when you’re enduring another dinner of supermarket brand soup, remember: being a student is not that dissimilar to behaving like you’re stinking rich.

Now, of course, that sounds ridiculous. Students are poor. We live off overdrafts and count our coppers like they’re diamonds.

We’re not actually rich, but there are many facets of student life that don’t set us too far apart from how the other half live. Although there are, shall we way, slight differences.

We have two houses

It may not be an exclusive villa in Monaco with a walk-in closet and infinity pool but students studying away end up calling two places home.

You march back and forth between the family home and your student pad throughout the year. The wealthy may bring Louis Vuitton luggage and travel first class but students still get the best of both worlds: home cooking to look forward to at one end and a drunken party at the other.

We go to a lot of parties

You may even host some. How positively middle class. There will not be hors d’oeuvres or flutes of champagne, but there will be shots of Sourz and chips and dip. One person’s rubbish is another’s potpourri, so they say.

We’re very brand aware

Students have especially discerning taste. Just like the rich, students care a lot about what brands they spend their money on. Unlike the rich, however, they opt for Tesco Value instead of the Finest range.

We’re just as well dressed as the other half

During your time at university, you may become adept at charity shop hunting, snapping up the bargain cast-offs that your wealthier counterparts paid full whack for.