Encouragement Perhaps

Forgiveness

To conjure evil, to hurt another, to kick God in the face, is to be human. Yet, sin is expensive. It costs something. The bull brought for sacrifice can no longer breed quality livestock. Remember, that God demands the best of the best, to forgive the sin, that is the worst of the worst. So why do we ask for the Bull back. Sin, does damage. Wounded hands, thorned brow, whipped back, loss of so much blood, and death. We trade a sacrifice with God for forgiveness. The magnitude of sin is measured by the magnitude of the loss of the sacrifice. We beg God for forgiveness, yet sometimes we ask to get back the sacrifice. The vile vomit that God pulled us up from by answering another prayer, we ask to go back into that viscous chunky rot to regain something we think we have lost. To acknowledge the sacrifice is to move away from the sin. Perhaps a job, a really good job is left by choice because of an intolerance for stealing, anger evoked, or a time commitment that causes a disconnect from family or church, or affair with a co-worker. Whatever the case, if God delivers and calls for a sacrifice, it is over. Done. I don’t believe that God would ever call for a marriage, a church, or a child. But Christians must realize that he may demand a building, money, pride, jobs, cars, perhaps even health. Sin is expensive, and the bill was so high that only the son of the judge could offer a sacrifice to exceed the magnitude of evil. Accept it and honor it. To beg for the bull in prayer is to insult the ultimate sacrifice. Jesus doesn’t belong to us. We didn’t earn his sacrifice, or even deserve it. He offered up himself, all we can do is accept, and allow sin to be murdered on an alter and burned, never to be tasted of again.

The existence of demons is indeed, a visceral notion. No zoo or museum houses the supernatural for the scientific mind to sample and define. Consider for a moment, that perhaps demons are real. A massive load of worry and anger from the injustice of favoritism, started as a hot neck, and an invisible lead straight jacket tugging on aching shoulders. Then, as the lights danced in a tormented brain shadowing scars began to accumulate of the wall of the mind. A creature was born of hurt, resentment, and hatred. It seemed harmless at first, reaching out into the world with shadowy and sticky tentacles. Warm black ink would run into the ear canals of any who would listen and incubate more demon spawn.

Humans may possibly be the parents to the unseen darkness of evil, as electrical brains hum and swirl events of hurt and anger. Churning a massive centrifuge of thoughts and dark fantasies. Unleashing darkness upon all that step near. The blackened mist is not bound to it creator. A human, deprived of life, leaves behind a footprint of warm glowing sunlight, and choking smoke. Like living creatures they penetrate and saturate those left to life. The creatures of emotion, live beyond the nest.

God saw it necessary to quell the veil of black, that evil creatures cast as they swim in the air between people. A bright light, silent and hung on a cursed wooden monolith for a moment. Light was lost for three hours, so that it could burn away darkness for an eternity. Without light, demons will nest in the wounded brains of humanity. Love and forgiveness is poison to evil. It will writhe and scream under its dose, but eventually, it will die in the light.

Ahh yes, marriage. We have been trying to figure it out for almost 13 years now. You have held my heart, fixed my nose, fixed my brain, given me three kids, and best of all, warm snugs on cold nights. You have been my confidant, ally, and best friend. I would have given up on me countless times, you have remained steadfast. Every time I try to insult myself, your fortified boldness rings out, “Don’t say that, about my husband!”

I joke with my co-workers that though we are a single income family, I have to ask for an allowance. It is true, I surrender everything I earn, everything I have, and everything I will ever have, to you. I have done nothing to earn your love, yet I get to bask in it every day. How can anyone doubt, that there is a God? Look at the wife I have been blessed with?

I had an expectation of marriage, a pre-written, poorly written script. I did do something right, however, I cast perfect the perfect leading lady. My manifesto, my ledger of expectation, has been shredded, to make way for clean exciting pages that embrace the letters of the years as they fall like summer rain. I look back and read our story, it is wonderful. There have been ups and downs, gains and losses, but I have never felt so alive, and happy. Anything I ask you about, or ask for your help, you deliver beyond my wildest expectations.

I can not live without you. When I am away from you just for a 12 hours day of work my heart aches.