Are There Any Out There? YES!!!

After going back and forth in conversation online with a virtual friend of mine on here named IslandVoice, I came to the realization that there are not a lot of "real men" out there! Atleast I have not met many. I guess the conversation started with Richard Burton and his major "man blend of romance and fire" (minus the excessive drinking ofcourse!) So, since I happened to come across a few rare men lately I thought it would be interesting to write about it. I'm sure many women reading this can relate in a big way and if you are in a crisis of any sort, maybe this will give you some clarity. So grab your cup of cocoa and let's get started!

A REAL MAN.......

Is strong, loving and devoted. They take their responsibilities seriously and they do not pretend to be someone they are not. They have a true sense of "self." A real man knows how to love a woman and appreciate her for who she is. A real man loves every single bit of the woman in his life. I have been around quite a few men that are not "real men." Let me tell you where they fall short in personal relationships and professional ones.

THE DECEPTION....

If a man pretends to be someone else, how can he love you? Or how can you trust him in business? Hell if he does not know who he is, then how can he truly succeed in anything he does? He doesn't because eventually the cloak comes down. I have seen this happen with quite a few men especially in the entertainment business. Remember the saying "What comes up must come down?" Well these sort of men always FAIL in one part of their lives. Especially when it comes to love. They end up doing the same thing over and over again and never learn from their mistakes. I'm sure you know or at one time experienced someone like this in your life?

ABUSE...

A real man does not abuse you emotionally or physically. Infact they make sure that you are ok because they care about you. They do not take their life disappointments out on you or anyone else. They do not play control games or cause you stress in your every day existence. If a man says anything negative about your appearance because of his insecurities, get rid of him! If he hassles you online or sends millions of texts, this is not acceptable. Life is stressful enough so why is it ok for them to make things worse? It is not!

LOVE...

I have been fortunate to have devoted men in my life but most of them fell short in certain areas. I'm not sure if a lot of men who think they are "in love" actually know what love is? I think they want to love and go through the motions with the belief that they feel it deep, but most fail miserably because the "idea" of love is more important then actually loving the person! ha Like they think it is something else and never take the little important steps like just being "loving and kind!"

EMPLOYMENT...

A real man makes it happen nomatter what. A real man is a survivor who just doesn't wait for the world to come to him. A real man makes sure there is food on the table for his family or helps someone nomatter how big his ego is. A real man does not have an ego bigger then a house! I guess I have made my point! I know lots of men who are starving and think they are too good to go back to waiting tables or working at Costco. This attitude is mind blowing! A real man makes things happen and does anything it takes. Do you know many who do? I don't! I must live in California! ha

YOUR NEEDS...

This is a really big one. I have been with loyal and devoted men, but most of them are devoted to their own needs! Yes, the word SELFISH comes to mind. I have tried to figure out why a lot of men are selfish and I really do not have the answer! Sometimes I blame the mother but sometimes I blame their life choices. If a man chooses a certain career maybe that should be the first signal! I'm talking about a majority, not everyone ofcourse! Ofcourse their are many exceptions to this rule and many good devoted men in this world. I'm not here to down the male population but from what I gather in my generation and upcoming ones, is that no one is teaching them how to respect a woman or themselves! Or anyone else!!! I believe they should have a course in school called RESPECT. Especially in this crazy world now where there are so many broken families, a failing economy and chaos!

NEW YEAR, NEW CHOICES...

I have decided that I will no longer put up with selfish people. This goes for men and women in my personal and professional life! The point is if you are in a difficult situation personally or professionally it is time for BIG CHANGE. I know quite a few people going through amazing changes in their lives and it is not easy. Most of their situations are resulting from financial stress and this economy has forced a lot of change. A lot of people can't exist in their rose colored glasses anymore cause the truth is "the world is changing." I do believe the time is NOW and I hope if you are reading this that I helped you in some way. Afterall that is why I'm writing this today. Would love to hear from you here in comments!

Happy New Year!

GPage x

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Hub Pages Author - GPAGE

All rights reserved. This material may not be republished, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in any form or way.

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Comments

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Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

Ok James...I sort of feel a bit of anger in your writing here? But I understand where you are coming from. If you knew me personally you would know how down to earth I am. I wrote this hub purely from experience. Two marriages and 25 years later have given me enough experience to write here. I have never been in a fantasy world when it comes to men in my life. Communication was and always will be key in a healthy relationship. I myself have never been about money. Infact i left my first marriage without taking a dime. I do know that in the beginning of relationships it is easier and then sometimes things get tough. I have been there. Believe me. But one thing is for sure, you are right about what you said about shared goals, shared dreams and shared responsibilities. This I feel is where my relationships lacked. I was writing here with what I know best, from my own experiences. I am definitely not a Scarlett O'Hara......and I only write about fantasy, I don't live it.......All the best, G

James J Mills 7 years agofrom Northern California

REAL men???....Hummm. Dear G, I suppose that I do agree with most of your perspective, and I would never dream of denying you all of your expectations, but I have to say that I think that many of your generalities about "men" are no more appropriate than my own deep seeded wish that all my women emulate June Cleaver (with Anjelina Jolie's body of course, since we're dreaming). Real men, and women for that matter, always exist easily in the beginning of any relationship, and the only way to keep things REAL, after all of the expectations have been reduced to reality, is as you say, with communication.... you have to have a shared reality, shared goals, shared dreams, and shared responsibilities (like the three musketeers).... and when times get hard, and they will, both need to put aside their egos and respect each other. The world has changed a lot since the Constitution was written, and I think our roles have necessarily changed as well.

Personally, I've had a few too many Scarlett O'Haras in my life, and I think maybe Rhett Butler had it right when he said, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn". A real man can't exist in a fantasy. Best Always :)) JM

Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

prasetio..there is no doubt that you are a good man. your heart shines through in everything you do. I always love seeing you here. You lift my spirit with your heart. Thank you for your support and kindness my friend. I really appreciate it. G

Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

Rose! I missed you above. Thank you so much for your comment. You are right. Who needs to babysit grown men?!!!!!! ha Nice to see you here......G

Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

Dean! I'm so happy to see you! I have been really busy and lots of changes in my personal life going on..I like what you wrote here. You always make me laugh...even when you are serious! There is always time for one giggle inbetween. Hubpages would not be the same without you!!!

I hope you are well.......G

Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

grace...I appreciate you coming here and leaving a comment. you are very fortunate. I wish you many more years together! Best, GPAGE

prasetio30 7 years agofrom malang-indonesia

Thank you very much for writing this. Very inspiring hub, Gina. You made this so special for a man like me. I hope I can be a gentleman and I am become a good guy all the time. Have a great day. I am glad to see you again. My pray always for you. Cheers...

Prasetio:)

cheaptrick 7 years agofrom the bridge of sighs

Real men huh G?I had a kid at the VA tell me I'm a hero for doing two tours in Nam just the other day.That got me thinking about what a hero is...couldn't sort it out till I read your hub.Now I know.It's the guy who gets up every day and goes to his sh#t job cause he loves his wife and kids.It's the guy who keeps peace even if it hurts to do so.It's the guy who as Thoreau said"Lives a life of quiet desperation"because his love of wife and children are more Important.If we spoke privately I would explain the meaning of Job siting in the ashes of his life scratching his open sores with a pot shard.Thanks for reading my latest.I'll never write that one again.You came to my rescue as you always do with this piece.Thank you so much.

Dean x

rose56 7 years ago

I am making changes as well. I agree no more putting up with men that you have to make them feel better about themselves. This is a lot of work, they should be put together already and ready for responsibility. Having to mother these men is beyond me , where are the real men anyway. They cry when they lose their job. They go through midlife crises believing they cant get anywhere in life. Some even expect their wife or girlfriends to support them. I agree A real man will do what it takes for his family and not wait around for some else to do it for him.

graceomalley 7 years ago

Have been married to a "real man" for 19 years. This past week I brought a piece I wrote about my mother's highschool sweetheart to my writing group. There was more there than even I realized, about her decisions, my decisions. We had very different values about men.

My own observation about men: when they really fall in love, its very deep. Maybe they don't talk the way women do, but they attach very deeply. Maybe I've known, or noticed, alot of "real men."

Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

JAMES! Thank you so much. I'm touched just seeing your words here on the page. I feel you. I'm so happy about your books and I do know that you have raised some beautiful children. Now is YOUR time to shine! You have always been an inspiration to me. You were here for me in the beginning. I can't wait to meet you one day! Happy New Year James! The BEST is yet to come! G

Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

pamela...You are so right! Communication is "key." Along with trust and love. Always lovely to see you here pamela. I do know that this year will be terrific!!! Best, G

James A Watkins 7 years agofrom Chicago

Your brilliance shines through like the sun. I love your article. I agree with you. I can measure up in all these ways but one: my only employment is HubPages. But I have two books in the works and that takes a lot of time. Instead of working at Costco, I am going for the big score. A dreamer? Sure!

James

Pamela Oglesby 7 years agofrom United States

I think it is important to know what you want from a man and you can see after a relatively short time if the guy fits the bill. I agree with your attributes for real men, particularly in the way he treats you. No verbal abuse, not married to his job or some hobby yet still being his own person. I think it is okay to have some differences in opinions but it is important to have honest open communication.

Best of luck with the new guy! 2011 will be a great year for us all.

Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

Hey David...All in good fun here! I'm actually dating New Years Eve and Mr. Future! I'm excited about 2011! I do believe things will be amazing this year for me and I hope that everyone else has an amazing year too! Always love to see you here. So happy for you with all of your kids books coming together and being published. What an accomplishment!! I wish you the best in your endeavors. G

Russell-D 7 years agofrom Southern Ca.

It looks good in print, G, but why is that kind of story buried on Page 23 in the 3rd section? Maybe go to section 4, where they post the Help Wanted ads, list your resume and then share the stories - there will obviously be at least a year full of them - enough to keep your hub fans stirred and waiting for the next episode. May 2011 be filled with what you wish it filled with. For years to come, may your imagination be limitlessly lanquid and liquid. Who you dating New Year's Eve? David

Author

GPAGE 7 years agofrom California

IV..I love what you wrote here. I can relate to your past experiences and I know that we connected here because we have both "been there." I am so happy you found your "twin." I can hear it in your words and in everything you do. You are loved, this is clear. I am so happy for you! You have such a big heart and so much love around you. I look forward to having that cocoa one day with you in person! Best, G

Sylvia Van Velzer 7 years agofrom Hawaii

Touche'! I would have come in earlier,'cept 'had to see family off today for their New Year holiday. Anyway, I love this conversation, when we can be open about sensitive, but so real, aspects regarding our relationships. Perhaps it's because we've both been there and done that, we can consider ourselves wiser women, and hopefully more discerning. The hardest part for me is giving your all to the wrong partner. Im a firm believer there is always the right one, in a sea of men, destined for each of us, to take us to the most meaningful relationship. if you are a good person, no matter the mistakes, he will come along. My first was someone too immature and loved only in the physical. I thought he was my Romeo/Picasso who said "If i could, i would paint and immortalize you" Sure! My second was overly possesive, not a bad person, but still so flawed. I'm fortunate to be reunited with the love of my life, and we are so compatible, we call ourselves 'twins'. There are good men out there, as there are good women. They just have to be the right one, at the right place and the right time! Good job G!