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Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Germ Free

I am well. I say this in the most solemn of tones to indicate the gravity of
the situation. It has been such a long time since I've been able to breathe,
this is quite a momentous moment. It all started about seven weeks ago,
following an ill advised hangover. The kids had been batting some kind of virus
around for a couple of weeks and as usual I pressed on through, not a whisper
of a symptom on my radar.
I drink vodka, I mean when I drink, I drink vodka. On the pretence
that it doesn't give me a hangover. Turns out if you drink enough of it, it
does - who knew! Well actually I did about ten years ago but like labour
pains I have erased my groggy twenty-something Sunday mornings from my grey
matter.
We had some of our dearest friends over that night and you know when there's
that kind of glow to the evening; everyone's having such a good time, it seems
a shame to end it. And too rude to go and put your pyjamas on. Once it got past
midnight though, it became a bit of a novelty. Could it be, we had reached the
time in our parenting careers that we can indulge in a proper sesh? No we had
not.
What's worse is that I distinctly remember regaling those present with the
story of Baby Girl's nocturnal activities, claiming, "I've got used to
being up every night. I only really need four hours sleep. I'm a lot like the
SAS". I got exactly four hours sleep that night. I have had a constant
reminder for the past seven weeks that I am not anything like the SAS.
Oh hello Winter, back like a boomerang I see.