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is my friend gay and closeted?

there is a guy i know at school, that is probably a 10 on the looks scale. He dumped a girl friend because "she wanted to have sex". also, he went on a few dates with a really hot girl and he broke it off because "her hair is too short and she is annoying and they werent compatible". He also flirts with me by saying stuff like "what did you think i would do with you?" "were you tryin to get me alone?!?" and "i want u to put it in my butt". I have also seen him looking at my but with a smile, (he didnt see that i saw him), and he also when he didnt know i saw him, he was staring at me longingly for like 5 seconds, and when he noticed, he almost like shook himself out of a daze. he will blatantly say stuff like "meagan fox is so hott!! I kept staring at her lips" he also will say if you ask him why he wont hook up with girls "im not that kind of guy!" and "i need to be dating for a month before i will even kiss". I have seen him looking at me longingly and i have also seen him looking at my butt. once he bent over (too far i guess haha) and he stood up really quick and said "im glad no one came up behind me and said 'im gonna give it to u good'!!! also, he looks at hot guys and if u catch him he will say something like "hes to tall to play baseball!!" also, he said i needed to have my sideburns reshaped. a friend heard this and said "so you can look better for him? ". he also has commented about my eyes "i bet your green eyes save u" and "are your eyes turqoise?" a friend overheard this and said "i dont wanna hear about how pretty u think his eyes are" and he said "i dont personally think his eyes are pretty!!!" good saves haha. he cites religious reasons and no sex before marriage as to why he wont take it farther with girls. also when he sees me he will be like "hey young lady! or there she is!" one time we had to lift something onto a wall at school and when he was lining up the slots he kept grinding his head into my chest and standing pushing against me.the guy i was talking about asked me to a movie, and acted all standoffish and weird. totally cut off all contact with me like he does with his "dates". he gave me the sensual "finger at the side of the mouth" look while he turned around with his back to me while i could see his butt. he also wont bend over "i dont bend down that far! i'd get it good!" (anal sex)also, he would always come and talk to me on his way out. laugh at all of my jokes, smile and say "see ya!" he even said "sweet! so i do get to see you later!"

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

He's gay, and not hiding it very well. I don't like him teasing you like that.
He's too old to be playing grade-school games. Get away from him. Completely.
Don't see him or talk to him any more. Find someone to have a real relationship with.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

"were you trying to get me alone?!" ect are things that straight guys NEVER say to eachother. and the way he said it too. in a playful, laughy manner. i also called him "bruno" and he laughed. I would have liked to have a relationship with him, but if he wants to suffer he can suffer. also, do straight guys look longingly at eachother, and smile when they are looking at another guys butt, when they dont know the other guy noticed? He said "i am as straight as an arrow! an arrow i got shot in the knee cap with!" and via text he sent me "you're straight as a rainbow too i bet"

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

hi nachocheez,

So does this guy knows that you are gay? So what would you like to do with him?

I tend to think that you should also start to flirt with him, and see how he is reacting. It seems to me ('a 10 on the looks scale') that he has a lot of features you can use for flirting (his sweet eyes, or whatever).

Do you have common interests? Why not invite him for a drink / drinking coffee and start talking with him in a more private surrounding?

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

he also said "you're gonna get it good pretty boy!" and when he handed me a pen he said "you are gonna take it and you are gonna like it!" he said the "take it and like it" thing twice in different contexts. He does not know i am gay. but he presses me hard for answers about my sexuality. "i thought you put out!" is something he said. when i do flirt with hi, hes either receptive and laughs, or he will say "eww!"" and stuff like that. a girl also noticed how he acts towards me and she said "holy cow! i have never seen him act like that!" then she started calling him my "boo" and "boyfriend". Also, she told me that her and another girl were having a conversation, and he overheard the word "boyfriend" and he was like "are you talking about me?!?!" she said he meant talking about "his boyfriend". also, something was written on a computer and he said "did your boyfriend do this?!?" and he said i should put my hands in his pockets to get my keys (someone heard this and said "so you are gay then?" and that i should press my face up against his to compare features.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

when he said "my butt cheeks are so tight" i said "really!?!" in an excited way and he laughed and was receptive to it. if i brush up against him he doesnt move. i even touched my arms to his and he didnt move at all. one thing he has been doing lately is looking at my mouth when i talk to him. i sent him a text and said "why are you flirting with me seriously" and he didnt give me a straight answer he said "i deleted that because my parents read my texts dont worry about it bro". he also "serenaded" me, and told a girl that i was blushing while he was "serenading me"

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

well he says he is straight. and if he is, i am getting bullied. he will say stuff to me like "do you know how many girls i pick up?". also. i have presented myself as straight which means i fucked up i guess. he wont answer my texts anymore and threatened to block me.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

he said "my lipstick tasted fruity! but it improves circulation!" he also likes cute things like super mario keychains and cookie monster dolls. His friend told me "he would kill me if i told you what he plays" he plays girl games on his DS!

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

Originally Posted by nachocheez

i have presented myself as straight which means i fucked up i guess.

Apparently, this does not work (anymore) and he (and maybe all of your other classmates as well) are aware that you are Gay. So no need anymore to hide that you prefer guys. Hey man, what do you think of all the girls in your class. They will also see and listen what's going on over there, and they will draw conclusions. You don't flirt with girls (etc.). Why?

So you can do what you want (=denying that you are Gay), but he (and your classmates) simply don't agree with what you tell them.

Do you really think that you will bet bullied / shunned when you stop hiding/lying? Where do you live? You are 22, and its now 2012. Are there other gay guys in your class?

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

also we went to launch, he paid, and he couldnt look me in the eye during our lunchtime conversation, and was being all nervous and standoffish. maybe hes a closeted gay guy that doesnt know how to be in a relationship

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

Originally Posted by CupidBoy

Come out and find a nice loving openly gay boy.

True words.
Do not waste time wondering what if,
You are 22 move away, don't waste your valuable days in youth wondering what if. By the time what if looks you in the face and you will say why did I waste my time on games? What if is gone now, and here I am and he on his facebook he is married with 2 kids who are near college age.
You can still play those games but make yourself unavailable to others bloating their egos by turning you on and off, and man well knowing it. Let them discover who they are and maybe when you aren't so wanting he will want you.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

he said "what did you think i would do with you over there?" in a sexual way when we were talking about "going over there" to do something. a friend said "try not to rape eachother" to us and he said "i dont know my back kind of hurts"

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

so nachocheez a mind fuck can only be allowed if you let it in, do that critical thinking and keep it out and realize the potential that could (could) occur but nahhhhhhhhhhh, need more for yourself. Do not deminish your ego by playing mind fuck with a ego dude who likes chicks and dudes noticing his beauty. In the end he gets the hard on and off and you get the rhinestones falling from the sky on a plastic beach (Gorillaz).

also we went to launch, he paid, and he couldnt look me in the eye during our lunchtime conversation, and was being all nervous and standoffish. maybe hes a closeted gay guy that doesnt know how to be in a relationship

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

Originally Posted by vulgar_newcomer

so nachocheez a mind fuck can only be allowed if you let it in, do that critical thinking and keep it out and realize the potential that could (could) occur but nahhhhhhhhhhh, need more for yourself. Do not deminish your ego by playing mind fuck with a ego dude who likes chicks and dudes noticing his beauty. In the end he gets the hard on and off and you get the rhinestones falling from the sky on a plastic beach (Gorillaz).

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

I haven't a clue, I think he is playing you though and you shouldn't be his puppet. He likely senses you are interested. A lot of guys like attention, they will say they are metrosexual or perhaps bi curious, maybe gay. I don't like being a puppet. It cost me dear in my younger day as you.

I had a straight friend very similar to what you describe. But he knew I was gay as I was open and I was about 22, he was a good friend. I was into him, but not as much as other guys because he would play like you describe so I tried to ignore it. He would say things like when we were drunk, you don't have to sleep on the floor get in bed but he always talked about pussy when sober.
I liked him alot, he was hot totally my type and sometime he would want to encourage putting on make up. I never wear ladies make up and never did, in bands I play in corpse pain but not drag ..LOL... not TV gay club shit. I don't know why he thought that was cool but maybe he dug it.
Finally one drunken night after we were in our late 20's and drunk he got the courage to ram his hard cock into my hand. It was awful and I lost a player friend. At the time it was awful but he had a nice cock, but it made me feel like shit, he didn't give a fuck he wanted his dick sucked. H
Fuck leave that to the older sex only gay animals from a different generation. Do you know after that night I never ever talked to him again.
Of course I moved from DC area to Florida but ..............if he was gay and he could be I would have loved to be with him, but not as he presented. I know from other friends he has been married 2 times.

Do not be a potsii...........thats all there are a shit load of fine guys who know who they are and you don't need the smell of rotten egg of your face and thats all that will be left if you can't talk straight up with him. ASK if you really want to know, have some respect he will play you and you will be the downer.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

It really sounds like you both are waiting on the same thing. I do think that if you came out first he would totally use that to his advantage and play a different (more sinister) game with you. This dude sounds like he is controlling, manipulative,and (what I suspect is at the root of all this) insecure. Frankly, I think you play into it because you have the same issues. I'm not attacking you when I say that either.

Whether he is 'straight' or not isn't the major issue. Is he honest, trustworthy, and capable of being a good friend/person should be the question. If this is just about sex then it's a petty easy problem to solve. If you guys start talking again and he says all the provocative things, just simply turn them back on him under the guise of just fooling around. If he's genuinely straight those jokes will fade away in time. Just my two cents.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

good advice guys. i am gonna cut him out totally. i think hes straight actually now that i think about it. he loves sports, and fishing. he also told me "i dont want to know what another man feels like", among other things. "i want you to put it in my butt" then, "i dont want to know what another man feels like". doesnt make any sense

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

He may be doing all this just for his own ego. Some straight guys like to know that a gay guy wants them. It give them more confidence with girls. But it stops there. He won't actually do anything with you. He just wants the ego boost.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

Originally Posted by bw92116

He may be doing all this just for his own ego. Some straight guys like to know that a gay guy wants them. It give them more confidence with girls. But it stops there. He won't actually do anything with you. He just wants the ego boost.

well what about looking at me longingly and looking at my butt? he didnt know that i saw him, so he wasnt doing it on purpose

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

Originally Posted by bw92116

He may be doing all this just for his own ego. Some straight guys like to know that a gay guy wants them. It give them more confidence with girls. But it stops there. He won't actually do anything with you. He just wants the ego boost.

he will often stay stuff like "she totally wants me". a friend told me that in high school these 2 girls liked him but he didnt get anything going

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

It can go either way, but based on what you have posted thus far, you can't lose. On your former posts, you mentioned he is flirting. Based on what you posted, I believe you. He is. The latter posts say you don't want him to tease you and have agreed to cut him off. Maybe I skimmed too quickly, but I didn't see where you shared your feelings towards him. This is a win-win situation. Either flirt back and let him know you're gay. If he plays around, why can't you? If he is bothered and cuts YOU out, then you would be getting what you wanted anyway.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

if he cut you out, then he cut you out and you should respect that. I agree with bw92116 sorta. It's not that he's doing this for his own ego, but maybe he was checking you to see if you're gay. He must know that he's good looking, so he was seeing if you were attracted to him, closeted guys are always the most timid because they dont know what other gay guys like.

My guess is he thought you were straight because you denied all his hitting on you. So he must've given up

So you could either lay it all out there and tell him you're gay, which could end with you two being together or him shutting you out even more because he really is straight and doesnt like you anymore. Or you could move on and find someone else whose not going to put you through all this stress and trouble

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

good advice guys. i am just gonna forget about him i guess. i dont have any classes with him now, so if he wants to talk to me he can. i think he was doing this to boost his ego, but i did see him looking longingly at me and looking at my butt, when he didnt know that i noticed.

Re: is my friend gay and closeted?

Sounds like your "friend" is confused at best. You really want him, flirt back and be obvious and sincere about it. If he really wants you, he'll respond appropriately. Otherwise, leave the closet case behind and move on.