Heavenly voice over: "Hello folks, it is I. Yes, I know, you can't see me,
but those of you with faith shall know me with certainty, and you are the
ones to which I wish to speak."

"Many of you have no doubt heard talk from
my beloved messenger Pat Robertson which may have disturbed you."

Cut to tape, Robertson with Paula Zahn: "He
was just sitting there, like, I'm on top of the world, and I warned him
about this war. And I was trying to say, Mr. President, you better prepare
the American people for casualties. `Oh, no, we're not going to have any
casualties.' He was the most self-assured man I ever met."

Cut to still of confident, smiling Bush.

Heavenly
voice over: "I talk to politicians the world over. What, you don't think
they're all lying, do you? Sometimes I kid around a little, and sometimes
the more righteous leaders just don't get the joke. George Bush is such a
man, a good and God fearing man, a man with a sense of humor as shallow as
the pool of dew which gathers on the Yuca flower. This is a good thing.
These are the end times, and a sense of frivolity is of little value. My
bad."

"In spite of my little faux pas, a truly
demonic dictator was deposed, and Iraq is making great strides towards
democracy, the same political system which I first provided to the founding
fathers. And to think, John Kerry and the Democratic party would turn it's
back on me after all I've done, going so far as his proposal to ban the
Bible."

"America, the chosen land, needs a true
leader, not a flip-flopper who would would attack terrorism only after
America is hit, when it would be too late. It's true. My blessing is on
George. It's the blessing of heaven on the emperor. In a manner of speaking,
that is."