1. There is no more reason to structure a review of 9 as a
series of nine points of conversation than there is for the film to
open nationwide on 09/09/09. Numerological profundity is less important
to this movie than its release date might imply. As with this review,
it's really just for the hell of it, and, hey, who doesn't love an easy
gimmick.

2. 9 should not be confused with District 9, the
recently released science-fiction parable of extra-terrestrial refugees
quarantined in Apartheid-era Johannesburg, nor with Nine, a
forthcoming musical remake, God help us, of Fellini's masterpiece
8½, although such confusions probably will happen
anyway and do make you wonder about numerological profundity.

3. 9 is a feature-length elaboration of director Shane
Acker's own animated short film of the same name from 2004, which won a
Student Academy Award and was nominated for a regular Academy Award.
Such distinctions earned Acker the attention of Tim Burton and Timur
Bekmambetov (Wanted), who became this film's producers and
helped procure for it the vocal talents of famous people, including
Christopher Plummer, Elijah Wood, Martin Landau, Jennifer Connelly,
John C. Reilly and Crispin Glover.

4. 9 is better off without the vocal talents of famous people
— or any people. Acker's short version of the film does without
any dialogue, the absence of which only reinforces its wow-cool factor.
The feature-length version, which also employs screenwriter Pamela
Pettler, who wrote Burton's Corpse Bride, tends to contradict
the wow-cool factor with lots of unnecessary spoken explanation.

5. If you've assumed, correctly, that these talking points are
listed in approximate order of importance, you may also have noticed
with concern that we've gotten halfway through them before describing
what the movie actually is about. That's because its story is
perfunctory, very much what you might expect from an 11-minute animated
movie with no dialogue that has been inflated to feature length. Its
creative vision, however, is extraordinary. 9 is not cute, and
not a comedy. It is full of mood, texture, technically sophisticated
chase scenes and not much else. Being impressed but unmoved would be an
appropriate response.

6. What it is about is a familiar post-apocalyptic scenario in which
machines have gotten the best of humans by exterminating them and
laying waste to the planet. But hope is not lost: There are little
puppets. Or, well, dolls, made mostly of a thick, burlap-like fabric,
with occasional bits of copper and wood and rudimentary electric parts,
plus lenses for eyes. The dolls were created and imbued with life by
the same human scientist who also invented the machine that began the
destruction of civilization.

7. Importantly, the machines manufactured each other, but the dolls
were made by human hands. It is clever that a film so rich with
computer-generated imagery should emphasize the tactility of its
central characters.

8. The characters' names are the numbers inscribed on their backs.
They have a wizened but rather craven leader, #1 (voiced by Plummer),
and a credible challenger to his authority, #9 (voiced by Wood). The
others have other numbers and, accordingly, other qualities.

9. Finally, it's a film that craft-fair hipsters and sci-fi nerds
can take each other to see on first dates.