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I was here about 7 years ago and you guys helped me ... I kinda know how it works but wanted to run this by you and others. Reading your replies i kinda have a feeling what your responce will be. So here we go. I'm a married male and about 4 weeks weeks ago I met a male and went to his house and we had oral sex. Learning alot from you guys last time I knew that you use condoms for intercourse and oral is low risk. With males I'm only into oral no anal sex. I just lost my mom and have been under a good amount of stress and grief. This is what happened. I went down on the guy for a good amount of time we took turns on each other. Everything was good and he didnt cum in my mouth and i didnt come in his. I try to play as safe as I can. Why im here is when I walked out of his house I felt like something was on my cheek in my mouth. I looked in mirror in my car and started to freakout.. I have a scab or herpe not sure and I said OMG I didnt have that when I walked in. I did go down on him and had him in my mouth a while but not rough but a lot of swiching and swaching.. I do have oral herpes but I swear that wasnt in my mouth when I walked in his house i would have felt it at least i didnt feel a scab or herpe or i wouldnt have met him. Anyway, i was stunned and started to get pissed and upset with myself. I peeled the scab back and unpeeled the skin and it was a fresh opening but no blood just looked like skin peeled back. I did this after the fact while i was in my car. I don't know if it was a herpe or scab or canker sore. I didnt have him cum in my mouth but i had to be exposed to pre cum. I read in Sanfranaids that there have been a very few cases where oral was the cause of a handful of infections(not sure if thats correct since other studies showed no infections with hiv poz with non hiv with no infections preforming oral) but its very minimal risk it also stated that its was from ejaculation, NOT pre cum or vaginal fluilds. I felt better at that point but with the passing of my mom my mind started to work on me. I am calm but slightly a little nervous. I am married and my wife knows i had have oral in the past with guys . I went behind her back due to I wasnt sure if we even going to remain married , it wasnt good a good time for us. So, now shes back and i dont want to let the cat out of the bag because things could go bad and i have enough on my plate at this time. Ive learned a lot here and trust you guys due to you've been studying HIV since it started and know a lot about it. I didnt go to CDC because they are a gov agency and like to scare the crap out of anyone in fear of them gettiing sued. So, id like your honest answer which i know you will only give. I did have intercourse with my wife since . I do get tested once a year but havent in 9 months but will in 6 weeks. I know its low risk but with that scab or could have been herpe in mouth I need your advice. I did also tell him about herpees and he gets them also so i did disclose. He stated he's hiv neg but whos knows , most dont test. I didnt swallow just worried a little about precum and scab or what ever it was. From what I read from your responces it looks like your view is oral isnt a real way of getting HIV. Just needed some good advice from the dedicated people here.

Giving oral is only theoretically risky. Reports of transmission in that manner never seem to hold up under careful scrutiny. Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV.

I suspect that simply for your peace of mind you may want to get tested. You can do that initially at 6 weeks. Assuming you get the negative result that I expect you can re-test if you want to at 13 weeks. I am only suggesting testing for peace of mind and not because I think you really had a risk, even allowing for your herpes.

Thanks Andy.. I figure if its that easy to get Hiv everyone would have it.. I will test at 6 weeks and at 13 weeks for peace of mind. I havent been able to find 1 finding where anyone got it by pre cum and oral either..

I'm about 10 days out from 6 weeks and between everything in trying to hang in there. I know you said slam dunk on being neg but my mind sometimes thinks your being kind ,due to my grief from my loss. Your a professinal and im sure thats just in my mind and you really it due to that its science.. Anyway it seems like they may have closed the clinic a few towns over due to State Funding and I want to go for the Rapid blood test. Is there such thing as annoymous testing? My spelling sucks.. I sometimes feel go for 5 week then 6 week and thats it. Have so much on my plate .. Or maybe just hang in there for 6 weeks. One place says bring Ins card if i have to i can go there but was wondering in new jersey if there is such a place without giving ins card.

Sorry Andy, Im just stressing.. In a few posts before you said I didnt have a risk... Its a slam dunk.. I guess im worrying for nothing.. I feel like im becoming a pest .. sorry.. Ill stick with what you said and bank on that.. Like you always say just wear condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse and you wont have to worry about hiv.

Thanks Rapid!! I read into things sometimes too much which isnt good for me and my health. I think you guys do a great job and for some reason I still think Andy in the back of his mind wants me to test to be double sure. Its just me and my mind..

I just went for my 6 week test to the date. Guess what.. It came up Neg.. I was so scared i thought i was going to passout. i even callled the lady back to make sure she ran the test long enough which she she of course she did. Your probally saying I told you so.. The lady at the clinic was a little out dated but I educated her a little about what I learned here . She did say most do test Poz 3 weeks and a 6 weeks is pretty much looks excelent but they go by 6 mnths and i told her way outdated. She did say i was a little risk but Most are from unprotected anal and vaginal and needle users. I told her i was very happy with results and im moving on she said its up to me and she thinks im ok also but if i want i can test again. I feel since you are the experts im proballly moving on with this and going to grive my lost and get this crap off my mind. Hope u feel the same way since u said a few times i didnt need to test.(just let me know if u think thats ok) I can't thank you enough, id come back here and replay what you and Rapid said about no risk .. It really calmed me down a lot I also read a interesting colum that Tim wrote about you'd have a better chance getting hit with a rock from out in space then getting it by giving oral. Im bringing these things up to thank all of you and it really helped me. I do have ocd or my doctor would say I worry way too much about things. Once my mom passed my emotions and mind have been worn. Having been here before im so glad i came back and got reducated . The lady at the clinic was super nice but she couldnt hold a candle to you guys to be honest. The things she said where a risk where unbelievable. Thank God I came back here and there people at these clinic should really be educated on this stuff. Im serious.. Thanks P

My OCD kicked in and i am now on Zoloft to calm my OCD and nerves. I did try to move on in my life but I needed a doctors care due to my OCD came back with revenge. Im doing better. I did tell my wife what was going on I couldnt carry it on my back any longer either. As you know I went for 6 week test then my wife wanted me to go with her and get tested that was at 7 weeks 3 days and that test was neg. What happened on 9 weeks 3 days I got a ear ache then made a appointment with doctor she said my ears are fine and checked my glands I thought they felt swollen. After that ate a cuban sandwich and I got very sick , I wasnt sure If i was sercoventing or what. I felt my body was so sick and felt like a fever. So the next day I went for a 9 week 4 day which is 91/2 weeks and neg. I have 2 questions even though i feel at this point im really fine and shsould have moved on like you said way back. Stupid me! Questions1. Could i have serocovented so late? I dont think so but im asking.2. 91/2 week neg test have you ever heard of smeone coming back Poz in week 12 or 13?

The last test really got me back to life again and thinking at this point im fine.. By the way the lady at the clinic also said that I should relax you dont get it that way. She said If I had a fresh open wound in mouth and had a mouthfull of ejaculate that would be a risk at all. Also Id like to Thank you again while I was waiting in room for results a lot of anxiety was going through me and what saved me was your words saying Move on with your life and I was saying Andy cant be wrong. knowledge is the Key and u have it. If you can be kind and answer my 2 questions. I also probally will go for a 12 week or 13 week last test due to i have a huge test for my job week 13 . I really at this point feel im ok!!

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I thank you for your support, if Andy would be kind enough to answer i wont be back until my final neg 3 month test. I can't thank you guys enough for what you do for us worry nuts..lol I know I should have listen to you and Andy from the beggining.. I havent been a pest either , and again thank you for your support. You were there last time for me.. Thanks

And don't even think of coming back here to wring your hands again before your last test. A test you don't need, I might point out. If you do come back to do anything other than report your inevitable negative result, you'll find yourself with a time out.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks for your support.. U also helped me out last time. Im glad your doing well!!! You dont remember me probally but we had some very good chats on kids and stuff. By the way im glad you responded ..TY And believe me i mean that im not trying to be a wiseass because thats not me. I understand where you and Rapid are coming from and do apperciate you saying no risk which i feel is correct now also. I was just asking Andy a few questions. I dont think ive been coming here that much driving anyone crazy except myself.

Id like to thank all of you for your support!! I went for my 13 week test today and it came up Neg.. Andy your a gem and I should have listened to you many weeks ago but your words did help along the way along with Rapid. Thanks Ann for coming in near the end and helping me also. All of your words helped me get through the waiting period. In the waiting period the stress and what it can do to your body is really unbelievable. Im feeling very happy today and relieved. I need to relax and get on with my life which im going to do.

That's a happy if not unexpected result. Enjoy it and make sure you are consistently using condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse. Do that and you won't have any problems with the sexual transmission of HIV.

And apply that knowledge to ongoing experiences so that you don't come scooting back again all worried without cause.