August 18th
All I've done these past few days is the same old shit. I do a performance, get off stage, get touched up in the dressing room, come back on stage for the finale, accept whatever award or clap for the winner, be escorted home and fucked senseless into the night. Yoongi isn't one for originality. At least our relationship is more secretive than the others. Except, part of me is hoping that they do find out so that we can break up and say that we were only friends and not be lying.
My song 'Legit' got released and the fans absolutely love it. My little maniacs.
That's what I call them. They were thinking of Mackinacs at first and I suppose that's what they call themselves but I just call them maniacs.
After all, Mack isn't my real name. I'm a lot like Yoongi in that sense. He likes his real name as well.

I also love performing 'Legit', my favourite song from the new album. It's the after show bit that I don't like as much. Sometimes, I don't want to go off the stage, I want to re-do the song again and again in order to keep the fans and myself happy. I'd just finished on MNet and Travis was waiting in the side lines with a towel. Of course I told Travis about Yoongi, he knows everything about me.
"He's in your room"
"Thanks Travis, for the towel that is"
"He is your boyfriend" he whispered, "you're meant to be glad to see him"
"I know. I kinda am, kinda dreading it"
He patted me on the shoulder as I made my way to my dressing room. At first, I scanned the room and he was nowhere to be seen.

That was until some arms wrapped themselves around me.
"Hey M!"
"Hi Yoongi."
"There were some stylists and that in here earlier, I thought that I'd have to make up an excuse or that I wouldn't get to see you at all"
At that point, I turned to face him.
"How long did you wait?" My tone sounded like I kinda half cared about his well-being.
"Not too long, I'm here now aren't I?"
"I don't know" I said tiredly, "maybe you're just a dream"
"A dream or a nightmare?" He seriously asked. That was debatable, he was amazing in bed I'll give him that but it was how frequent we were having sex that was nightmare-ish.
He kissed my forehead softly before I could answer, obviously he didn't really want the honest answer.

"You know, M, we don't need to do this right now!"
"Do what?"
"You know what."
"Are you breaking up with me?"
"What no? I was meaning sex"
"Oh."
"Why? Did you want to break up?"
"I dunno"
"M? The answer should be no"
"I know it should, I don't know I-"
"Is it Jungkook?"
I went speechless. Jungkook? Honestly I wasn't sure whether he had anything to do with this. I just didn't really like being used as some sex toy for Yoongi. I knew it would leave us slightly awkward for a while afterwards.
"Wh-what?"
"It is isn't it! I should have known"
"What are you talking about?"

"You like Jungkook, don't you? You tease him and are mean to him but you love him, I'm sure of it."
I was still speechless at his accusations of me being in love with Jungkook. He went over to the side and picked up a coffee take away cup. Once thing for sure, that was no coffee. He smelt of alcohol, more specifically the one that made him go genuinely drunk. Of course, he couldn't except the possibility that I didn't love him and he drinks up.
"Please Yoongi don't drink yourself senseless"
"Why not?" He slurred, "I just found out that my girl doesn't want to be with me anymore"
I tried to hold him up as he almost collapsed when he shoved me back hard against the wall.

"Yoongi, you aren't sober anymore. Don't do something you'll regret"
"Why would I regret this?" He said seductively. He trapped me with one arm while the other slid down the top of my skinny jeans. He hoisted up my pants underneath so that he could gain an agonising moan from me. He thought it was from pleasure, he was honestly hurting me.
"Yoongi - stop" I carefully breathed out.
He punched the wall just beside me.
"Shut up Bitch!" He spat.
He then rubbed himself again me and I wanted to call out but knew I couldn't. If someone found us like this, it was bound to get out. And that was the last thing that either of us wanted, whether Yoongi was sober or not. Tears slid from my eyes but luckily he noticed.

That drew the line for him. Whatever happened, he couldn't stand to see me crying, that was his weakness.
"No, no, no. M, you don't have to- I fucked up didn't I?" He was coming to some drunk realisation. I tried to get myself back into some sort of normal state while he backed off, looking at his hands like he's just killed me and my blood was on them.
"You're right, we need to break up."
"Yoongi..."
"No no, don't say another word. I've hurt you enough." He stood up straight to leave, "I'll still support you at your shows and I can't begin to explain how sorry I am."
Once he left, I collapsed on the sofa in a ball of tears. I just wanted someone else to comfort me. I just wanted someone like Jimin or Tae here to cuddle me to sleep, not too much to ask right?

I don't understand the "He hoisted up my pants underneath so that he could gain an agonizing moan from me. He thought it was from pleasure, he was honestly hurting me." What was he doing, trying to rip her pants off? Wait, "He trapped me with one arm while the other slid down the top of my skinny jeans. He hoisted up my pants underneath so that he could gain an agonizing moan from me." We he giving her a wedgie? Was he trying to have sex through the pants? Damn Yoongi, chill the fuck out. He punched the wall how could no one hear that? Yoongi stop being an dick.