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Vacation? Is that where I’ve been? I wouldn’t go quite that far. In fact, I wouldn’t call any of it a vacation. Yes, I traveled to Ohio. Before traveling up there the plans were to attend a wedding (actually, do a reading at the wedding as well), see family and friends and enjoy just a several day getaway from Florida. Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. In fact, I probably should have just stayed home. “But why?” your inquisitive mind might be asking yourself. Oh, there’s plenty of reasons. PLENTY. Here, let me begin…

To start off, that whole “a little under the weather” thing that I mentioned in my last post? Yea, it wasn’t exactly weather (although there is some weather related parts of this post). Read on.

After driving all night to Ohio (roughly a 14 hour trip) – I wasn’t looking good. Pale, coughing, fever and everything was challenging my drive. I still drove though (I don’t like being a passenger) and fought my way through five states to get to Dayton, Ohio. My first stop was my moms house around 8 AM when I arrived after clinging onto life all night (just adding dramatic effect here). And from there, she sent me to the ER.

Come to find out, I have (had) pneumonia. Well, that might explain a lot. And here, this whole time I was blaming my healthy diet and Cheerios.

Doctors orders: don’t do anything.

I spent the entire trip on my moms couch. No wedding, no visiting people or pole dancing (actually, I don’t do any pole dancing ever so I didn’t miss much there). I just spanned the couch drinking water and watching television. There was some good television though, so that added a slight perk to my experience (especially the local Dayton news, where a water leak is the headline news).

While lounging around I already started to dread the drive back. I knew it was coming in several days and that this visit would fly by quick. But, beyond that, what can a guy do? So, I tried to enjoy myself. And for what it’s worth, I did. It was kinda nice to chill out at the house for several days with mom and my step dad. I don’t get a chance to see them as often as I would like, so it wasn’t too shabby. Just blew (literally) having pneumonia the whole time.

At any rate, Sunday arrived and it was time for that grueling drive back. (I say grueling, but normally I don’t mind it. I’m a sucker for road trips and 14 hours isn’t too bad compared to my record non-stop road trip to Kansas of 24 hours.) Still feeling icky and unmotivated to even lift a finger, it had to be done. Off we go.

The trip wouldn’t be that bad, except – out of nowhere – in the middle of Tennessee, there was a traffic jam. Nothing was moving. We were on top of a desolate mountain with nothing but motor vehicles canvasing the road. What is the hold up? Bears mauling a Suzuki? Who knew. I was just getting tired of sitting there though. I tried to pass the time with some entertainment on the radio, however, in this area of the United States, you’re only going to get country, country or country music to tune in. At least on top of this mountain (I did run across a classic rock station – thankfully – later on). I would’ve pulled out the banjo and begin singing, but then I realized I didn’t have a banjo and I can’t sing.

So, we’re set back an hour or so. But moving.

I make a good run through Chattanooga, Atlanta and into Florida, when all of a sudden….

It was dreadful. Oh, that’s right. We have Tropical Storm Debby to contend with now. I forgot that Florida has these storm thingies.

I honestly never drove through anything so rough. Visibility was practically zero through a lot of the trip down Interstate 75 south. There was no getting home quick now. Nope.

Rain plummeted our car relentlessly. We were only one of several fools out at this time driving. There wasn’t much in debris or anything. Just strong wind and rain. If I felt better and wasn’t dragging after being on the road for 14 hours already, I might have actually enjoyed the storm a bit. I do like storms – they can be fun! But, all I wanted was to get home at this point. The traffic jam in Tennessee was enough thrills for me.

Around 4 AM, I made it. Home again. Although, pulling up, it was nothing but a downpour of rain. The wind was battering everything as well. So, had to make a nice dash to the entrance of my apartment complex. That was fun with pneumonia as well.

So, a trip you say? Vacation? Well, as mentioned above, not really. This calls for a ‘do-over’ hopefully in the near future. In the meantime though, I’ll be home on the couch watching outside for a witch to fly past my window with a little dog in her basket. It’s that windy. The storm is due to die down soon though.

I just hope on my next road trip, I visit numerous couches and maybe leave the ER out of the agenda. OH – and a tropical storm can hold off on the trip back as well. That would be great.