I lied, they only makes bikini tops. You're still gonna have to wear a dragon hide or whatever for a bottom. Or -- OR -- nothing at all. I'm gonna vote nothing at all provided, you know, GIANT BUSH. One time I went to a nude beach and thought a lady was wearing a silver bikini bottom. NOPE, unshaven granny. She still had it.

This handmade, swim-friendly, waterproof chainmail bikini top is made from saw-cut bright aluminum and latex-free EPDM rubber. The rubber gives just the right amount of stretch to gently cup around your curves, accentuating them in just the right way, the silver rings providing a shiny and eye-catching sparkle.

These tops are extremely comfortable and light, weighing only a half pound, and tie in the back and at the neck with a wide satin ribbon for the ultimate in comfort and adjustability. These bikini tops are completely street-legal; nothing can be seen through the weave, and are completely waterproof/swim friendly.

A custom top will set you back $175 but, come on, can you really put a price on attracting the eye of the prince of your dreams? Yes, it's called a $80 love potion. You can buy them from witches. But, WARNING: do NOT buy from the one who lives out by the dwarven mines. I think she put a sleep spell on me last time and rubbed my nips while I was out. "Why do you think that?" Because I asked her to. "So what's the problem?" When I woke up they were on fire!

Hit the jump for several more examples.

Thanks to Jessie, who's rocking the dragonscale armor bikini she bought in Skyrim this summer.

There are View Comments.

Michael S Waggoner

I dreamed of inventing this but alas.....I am too late.......BEAUTIFUL STUFF!!!!

7/10 would bang2/10 would not bang8/10 (together) would bang (together)8/10(a) would bang..twice; 4/10 would buy a razor/paper bag and gift it to her5/10 would bang (no eye contact)8.5/10 would bang10/10 would bang, possibly date (assuming it doesn't talk)

Actually, it doesn't get hot at all. If the top were made out of a single piece of metal, it would retain the heat and burn like the fires of a thousand suns. But because they're made out of a bunch of tiny pieces of metal, they don't really retain heat at all.

69sofine

Totally ineffective for combat. These chain mails are useless.

Galia Godel

Well, they are swim safe. So that's fairly useful, I'd say.

Michael Braedley

"nothing can be seen through the weave"

Challenge accepted

Israel Navas Duran

So what if you can see a square inch of skin? are you going to be able to diagnose a skin cancer? a breast tumor?