Like most SubGenii, I was a Mary Ann man. Ginger just
seemed too
"plastic" and wore too much make-up. Mary
Ann seemed more real, more
like somebody you could actually fuck.

But I CHANGED. I am now a whole-hearted and hole-brained
GINGER MAN.
(Yeah, yeah, ha ha.) Think about it -- wasn't Mary Ann
always CONCERNED
about something? Always the "RATIONAL" one,
the "CONSCIENCE" of the
castaways?

The girl your MOM would have wanted you going out with?

How much actual FUN did you see Mary Ann having?

Ginger, on the other hand -- sure, she's dumb as a box
of broken
hammers, but SINCE WHEN IS "INTELLIGENCE"
A PLUS AMONG THE YETINSYNY??

She was ALWAYS pleasant and ALWAYS "game."
Completely unjudgemental --
very innocent in fact. FUN.

And whereas Ginger is PLAINLY a swallower, any blow
job you DID get
from Mary Ann would probably come with a price attached
somehow. She'd
see it as an OBLIGATION.

If you rattled on about, oh, I dunno, monster movies,
or politics, to
Mary Ann, she'd get bored quick and change the subject.
Ginger, though,
would just look at you in gape-jawwed wonder/hypnosis
while idly
rubbing your crotch as you blabbed idiotically. Let's
face it, neither
one of them is exactly Connieite material, but if you're
gonna be stuck
on a deserted island with a dumb broad, why not make
it the BONOBO dumb
broad.

FIRST THINGS FIRST, after all. I wouldn't put either
ONE of them in
charge of the water purification tablets, that's for
sure.

If you're over 40, Mrs. Howell doesn't look that bad...
her bod is
actually pretty good, what one can see of it, and rich
people are often
able to stay relatively young looking, especially if
they're as vapid
as she is. And they're decadent. Her hairdo sure is
"Grandma," though,
that'd be my biggest problem with her.

Ginger for sure. Just grab her ears like jug handles
and GO AT that
empty head 5 times a day. Nothing else to do but break
open coconuts.
Munch that red rug every time you get thirsty. You gonna
be there for a
LONG TIME, boy.

Being a high-bandwidth type individual, then, you
should be interested in knowing that someone is posting
a rare Gilligan's Island pilot, with a DIFFERENT Mary
Ann
*and* Professor, on alt.binaries.multimedia

This still goes back to my theory that it was all a
set-up job for the perverted tastes of Thurton
Howell III. Think about it: why would a billionaire
like Howell get on a puny little tour boat, when with
a snap of his finger he could get an aircraft carrier
to take him out for free?

You just know that he spends all his time in the
island's underground facility, spying on the orgy
through hidden cameras, while his staff creates
stuff like bicycle-powered satellite transducers made
from coconut shells.

He is the master of the island. There he is a GOD.

--
*
Moesha seizes a fresh slice of chef Elise's
greasy fish quiche and mischievously mashes
and squishes it on the Joseph piece of the
fascist police chief's cheezy French crèche.
*
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: inigo@montoya.net (D. P. Roberts)

In that pilot, the girl's name was "Bunny"
but I don't know what the
Professor was called. I won a radio contest years ago
because I knew
that Gilligan's first name was "Willy".

Mary Ann - 53 votes
Ginger - 2 votes

Note to Kevan: That's as it should be, because Mary
Ann is a
wholesome, white Kansas girl, and Ginger is obviously
some sort of
mixed breed. (haw haw haw haw)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SubGenius Spice <SubGeniusSpice@jbeyqarg.ngg.arg>

>In that pilot, the girl's name was "Bunny"
but I don't know what the
>Professor was called. I won a radio contest years
ago because I knew
>that Gilligan's first name was "Willy".

willy gilligan?

wasn't he one of the pioneers of skiffle music?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I was going to stay out of this last week, but I broke.
Ginger, for taking all of her Saturday night best on
a three hour tour.
Especially that shimmery gold cocktail gown.
If I was a man I'd be a drag queen.

> Note to Kevan: That's as it should be, because
Mary Ann is a
> wholesome, white Kansas girl, and Ginger is obviously
some sort of
> mixed breed. (haw haw haw haw)

NO!! Mary Ann, while mainly Caucasian obviously, is
fairly dark skinned
and could easily be part American Indian! Ginger, on
the other hand, is
so made up that you can't tell WHAT she is. Since Gilligan's
Island is
really a set in Hollywood, she MIGHT be... JEWISH. Might
even be
related to my beloved, Tori Spelling. But judging strictly
from the
visible evidence, I would place Ginger's race as "Floozish".

actually the best bet would be to send the Skipper,Gilligan,
professor and
Mr. Howell off on some fools erran and grap up Ginger<Maryann<
and Mrs.
Howell and see if ya'll could come up sith some never
before seen on this
planet positions I gots several in mind as we speak