13 Brutally Honest Truths About Sex After a Baby

Having sex after a baby is like losing your virginity all over again. You’re freaked it’s going to hurt, but really, really want to do it anyway. From counting the minutes to obsessing over weird stuff, here are 13 truths every woman realizes when it’s (finally!) time to have sex after a baby.

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Six weeks is a looong time. One and a half months, six weeks, 42 days, 60,480 minutes—no matter how you slice it, the doctor-recommended six weeks without sex is a little intense. It’s basically a dry spell that you can’t do a damn thing to change.

But then you forget when it’s time (or can't find the time). Even though you’ve been counting the days ‘til you can get busy again, motherhood has a strange way of making you lose track of…pretty much everything. Why was that date circled, checked, and starred on your calendar again? Oh right! But about that baby you just had...he likes your attention, 24/7. Finding a window of time to get freaky just got much, much harder.

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You bust out the good underwear. You had six weeks to plan this moment. You better believe you’re bringing your A-game.

You feel self-conscious. No matter how fast you bounced back, your body just doesn’t feel like your own yet. And now you’re taking it out for a test drive?! Um…

It’s bigger than you remember. Awesome news for your partner: Everything looks and feels a little more super-sized than it did before.

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It’s kind of awkward. Getting back into the groove ain’t easy. Kisses miss the mark, weird noises happen, and readjustments (and more readjustments) take place. You might want to set the bar low for that first time.

You wear a bra. If you’re nursing, your breasts are huge, sore, and leaking on the regular. Two of those three aren’t exactly sexy. Nursing pads—and a serious contraption to strap the girls in—are a must at all times. Speaking of which…

Boobs are off-limits Boobs probably still equal baby food for the time being. Plus, if your tatas are touched, something will come out and not in a cool Katy-Perry-in-a-whipped-cream-bra way. That’s pretty much the opposite of hot.

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It hurts—just a little. A human being ranging from the size of a loaf of bread to a watermelon came out of there not too long ago, so you might be a little sore. Just saying.

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