Youth Resouces

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It’s a beautiful day. I wake up to the sun shining though my window and my husband standing by my side of the bed with a cup of tea. He brings me tea when he has time before rushing off to his job. “Good morning, beautiful!” he says, as he kisses me on the cheek. “I’ve brought you a cup of tea. I have to run, but I found your bag for this evening, and placed it by the door.” I kiss him goodbye, and wait the usual 10 minutes for his call. He always calls me once he’s left and is driving to work, just to tell me one more time how much he loves me.

This evening I will embark on a weekend with B. B is a regular client of mine, and I just adore him. He has prepaid for his date with me because he likes to be very organized, and I appreciate his fastidiousness. I will bring along the last pair of Jimmy Choos he sent me, because he likes to know that what he sends me fits, and will bring along the matching Coach bag he sent me two months ago. Luckily my husband found it- I had misplaced it after using it for a dinner date last week.

B is one of my favorite gentleman callers. He’s a high-powered lawyer and was formerly a college professor, so we have the most fascinating conversations. Our dates usually start at a fabulous restaurant at a local hotel, and continue at that hotel throughout the weekend. He plans massages and facials for both of us. He absolutely spoils me.

But B is only one of the many wonderful men I see in my work. And while none of my men are particularly famous, they are well-heeled enough to afford 10k weekends with me, along with gifts like Coach bags, Jimmy Choo shoes, and many, many other decadent gifts.

I am sure I would never out any of my wonderful men (I won’t see anyone who is not wonderful). But sadly I am also pretty sure none of them would come to my aid should the proverbial shit hit the fan. I don’t thnk I would expect them to.

So I continue to do what I can by participating in my local sex worker rights organizations, contributing both time and money. As it is, I do receive plenty of free legal advice, medical advice, and financial advice from my many delightful companions. So in their own way, they help as they can.

My husband is very supportive of me and what I love to do. We certainly don’t need the money, but professional companionship is such an important part of who I am that I couldn’t imagine giving it up. Not just yet.

I kiss my lovely B goodbye as my car arrives from valet, and he makes me promise to see him again when he is back in town next month. I assure him he will have priority over anyone else. He slips a little box in my hand as he walks away back into the hotel lobby. I don’t open it until I arrive home. It is a lovely silver bracelet from Tiffany’s. I will be sure to be wearing this the next time I see my B.

I don’t think this post is claiming to be representative of every prostitute who is currently working. It’s one person’s story, not everybody’s story.

Why are our experiences as individuals not valid to you?

It seems like the most derrogatory statements and attitudes toward us are coming from the same people who claim that they want us to be ‘saved’ by getting arrested.

There is s serious flaw in the ideology of people who will decry the patriarchy while at the same time insisting that prostitutes can only exist within the confines of the patriarchy’s determined social status for them.

Isn’t feminism about supporting women to break societal molds that limit her ability to participate equally in society?

My point is that there is no research to support the prohibitionist claims that ALL prostitutes are this way or that way. (“all prostitutes are abused/drug users,” “all prostitutes are in need of help” etc)

The research I can find is based on samples from drop in centers or other places where women who are in trouble go to for help. This is not an accurate sample of ALL workers. However, this kind of research is what the prohibitionists who have never personally met a happy sex worker use to back thier narrow-minded claims.

This post is one woman’s perspective. The first comment seeks to invalidate that perspective by claiming her story is not typical.

I am asking people for research to support or deny such claims. I seriously cant find it. If you know where it is, please tell me.

DM, you are certainly right. Most “studies” attribute their findings to sources found in already compromised situations, such as drug rehabilitation centers, battered women’s and homeless shelters, and jails and/or prisons. Not to mention the often times unethical way in which they gain access to close-knit communities.

Ethical, unbiased research is sorely needed. I am aware of a couple of projects in the works for this purpose- the purpose of bringing to light the fact that *most* women who participate in the sex industry here in the US are not under disagreeable circumstances. It would be a fallacy to state that all sex workers are like Fiammetta, but it would also be a fallacy to state that all sex workers are the stereotyped streetworker who has fallen on hard times. My guess is that those two ends of the spectrum occupy similar percentages to the whole, the largest percentage being your average online escort.

I read somewhere an analysis of the different reasons women find themselves in this line of work, and they ranged from a strong desire to do so to economic necessity. The average, according to this website (I will have to look for the link), was the desire to earn the most money in the least amount of time. This could be for supporting children, paying for an education, or simply elevating one’s lifestyle.