The Babe

She stood outside the main entrance to the mall. Her fingers were furiously moving over the keys as she typed out a message.

Excuse me, miss. A man’s voice, she looked up. Hold him, I’ll just be a minute.

Then he was gone. In the blink of an eye, she found herself holding a child. A very small child with wide blue eyes and a yellow pacifier stuck between its lips. She cooed at the infant. Had the man called it a him? She wasn’t sure, it had happened so fast.

She sat down at one of the tables. Her eyes constantly scanned the crowd for the overly trusting stranger. She had every intention of giving him a piece of her mind when he returned. You didn’t just hand a person a baby and then nothing bad to happen. Luckily, she wasn’t that kind of person, she was trustworthy, but it was sure inconvenient. She was already running late getting back to work.

The minutes ticked by. The baby slept. The digital glow on her phone almost permanently stayed on as she checked the time more and more frequently.

She stood up and went to the security office in the mall.

Hi, this guy just handed me this baby, like an hour ago and he never came back. She told the uniformed security guard.

He just handed you a baby? Don’t you think that’s a little weird? The security guard countered, eyes narrowed. She suddenly felt a little panicked.

Yes, I did think it was weird, but before I could tell him that he was gone. She informed him, her hackles raised by fear and indignation.

John, can you come out here? The security guard called to the back of the room. A second guard came out. He was much larger and more intimidating than the first. Now, tell us again, but make sure to include a description of the man.

I was standing in front of the main entrance, texting my boss, to let her know I was going to be late getting back and this guy walked up and handed me the baby. He said he’d only be a minute. I went to protest, but he was already gone. He was wearing jeans and a hat.

What did he look like? John asked.

I don’t know, a guy. About my age, not as tall as you, white, skinny-ish.

That’s pretty vague. The first security guard said.

Yeah, I did’t get a good look, it happened too fast.

Are you sure you didn’t mistakenly pick up the child yourself? John asked.

Why would I mistakenly pick up a baby? I asked.

Sounds just as plausible as what you just told us. The first guard said.

Panic made her feel sick. They didn’t believe her, but what did they think she was trying to do, drop off an unwanted kid at the mall security office? Get real.

Several police officers entered the room. A woman was with them. Tears ran down her face, staining her shirt with black and sparkly colors from her make-up.

That’s her! The woman said. That’s the woman I saw pick up Timothy from the stroller!

Whoa! She took a step back from the obviously hysterical woman. Some guy handed him to me at the mall entrance.

My husband saw you! The woman lunged at me. Only John, the security guard, kept her from getting to me. I was handcuffed and walked out of the mall. As we left, I saw the woman hand the child to her husband. It was the same jack-ass that had handed me the baby over an hour ago. I shouted and screamed. I was tasered.