Happy birthday to two-time Olympian, Julie Chu! Chu, who played for the U.S. Women’s ice hockey team when they won silver in 2002 and bronze in 2006, is also a Harvard grad, i.e. a Hardass Asian Parent’s ultimate wet dream. I would love to tell her to go to H-E-double hockey sticks for making the rest of us look bad, but she’s just too damn cute. Plus, I’m pretty sure that Chu could body-check me into oblivion.

LeBron Seen Voguing

LeBron James rocks the April “Shape Issue” of Vogue with Gisele “Mrs. Brady” Bundchen. King James is only the third man to make the magazine’s cover in its history. Apolo Anton Ohno is also featured–hopefully sans Brazilian bikini wax–in the issue, which pairs athletes with models. I love that underneath the picture of LeBron and Gisele the copy reads, “Secrets of the Best Bodies.” Uh, gee, I don’t know…genetics? Stupid luck? Getting paid shitloads to look that good?

“We are the needle in the can of Schlitz, and we are also the Schlitz”

For a different take on the upcoming baseball season, check out Yard Work. Author “Haruki Murakami” writes a delirious entry about the Cubs and Kosuke Fukudome, their new right fielder from Japan. Or “Fuck You, Do Me,” as our friend Ashley calls him. I put quotes around “Murakami” because there’s also season previews on the site from “John McCain” and The Wire‘s “Scott Templeton,” Bawldamer’s own Jayson Blair. “Templeton” writes about the Orioles, or, as only he could put it, “the league’s orange-feathered stepchildren.”