Welcome to The Simpsons Archive's episode guide. Episodes are grouped by season and sorted in
broadcast order. While premier broadcast dates are given as a reference, you must refer to the
air dates chart for information on all successive Fox network broadcast dates.

Lisa spends a week at a performing arts camp (with counselors voiced by Jemaine Clement and
Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords and campers by Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, and
Amber Riley of Glee), but when she returns to Springfield, she decides she'd rather
live where the artists live, only to discover it's not as exciting as the counselors made it
sound; Krusty wins the Nobel Peace Prize - at least that's the excuse used to get him to
The Hague to stand trial for crimes throughout Europe.

When Grampa decides to give everyone's inheritance money - $50 each - early,
Lisa decides to give it to Nelson for his bicycle customizing business, which becomes
a success, but when Nelson announces that he's so successful that he's dropping out of
school, Lisa tries to change his mind by bringing him to Facebook creator Mark
Zuckerberg, only for him to point out that not only did he drop out of college, but
so did Bill Gates and Richard Branson; meanwhile, Marge spends her $50 on a designer
handbag that actually costs $500, but when Homer realizes how easy it was for her to
return it for a refund, he decides to do the same thing...with pretty much whatever he
wants to own

Bart's Little League team makes it to the state championship game, but Bart won't
be playing in it after being tossed off the team for ignoring a command by the
new manager - Lisa, who, when she told Springfield Elememtary's only Ivy League
student that she was in two clubs, was given the advice, "Two Clubs is a bridge bid."

"War and Pieces" - when Marge suggests playing board games instead of violent
video games, Bart and Milhouse manage to make all boardgames lifesize - and violent

"Master and Cadaver" - in a Dead Calm spoof, Homer and Marge rescue a
man at sea (voiced by Hugh Laurie) while on their second honeymoon, but they become
convinced that, rather than surviving an attempted poisoning, he's the killer, and
Homer and Marge are next on his list

"tweenlight" - Lisa falls for a new student (voiced by Daniel Radcliffe) who
happens to be a vampire

Lisa discovers that Marge was a straight-A student, only for her aspirations to
fall short when she got distracted (by Homer), so she decides that the only way to
prevent that from happening is to attend a private school that doesn't have any
distractions; a series of coincidences in which Bart gets the better of Nelson
leads everyone to consider Bart as the new school bully

Mr. Burns discovers he has less than two months to live, but when he tells the rest of the
town, they celebrate the news, so he tries to kill himself by jumping off a cliff, only to
survive but with amnesia; when Bart discovers him, he takes him in, only for Homer and Marge
to ask everybody else what to do with him - and they decide to each take turns using
him for their own purposes

When a pigeon crashes through a window and wounds a wing, Bart nurses it back to health,
only for Santa's Little Helper to eat it, causing Bart to become sad and start resenting
the dog; Homer and Marge take Bart and Santa's Little Helper to therapy, where the therapist
sees the dog's aggression towards birds and suggests getting rid of him

When Bart wants to meet Santa face-to-face with a BB gun for not getting the dirtbike he
has asked for the past three years, he gets his wish thanks to a trip to the North Pole
via the Polar Express; Lisa dreams she's in 1944 and has a problem with Christmas trees
after Marge was called to serve in World War II while they were at a tree lot the previous
year; Marge gets help from Martha Stewart in making the house more festive; a live-action
segment involving Katy Perry and Simpsons puppets has the family getting ready for a
vacation in Hawaii

Homer is arrested on New Year's Day for breaking a number of new Springfield laws
and sentenced to ten years in prison, but he cuts a deal to have his sentence reduced
in exchange for getting close enough to Fat Tony so they can catch him in the act of
smuggling guns, but when Fat Tony dies during the raid, his cousin "Fit" Tony wants
Homer dead

When Bart discovers that a fifth grader has a scar identical to one Bart has, Marge tells
him about a club of four mothers she was in seven years ago; when Marge decides to reunite
with the mothers, while Homer reunites with the fathers and Bart the boys, things turn out
much better for Marge than for Homer or Bart, who, after hearing the story from Comic Book
Guy about how they got their scars, tries to break up the group

Moe and Smithers turn Moe's Tavern into a gay bar, but Moe is too afraid of losing his
customers to tell them that he's straight; Skinner has his eyes on the substitute music
teacher, who is a single mother, so when he discovers her daughter has a crush on Bart,
he asks Bart to spend some time with her in order to help his chances with the teacher

Homer starts acting like the sensible father on a 1980s sitcom, so when Bart asks Homer
to buy him a minibike, Homer suggests that Bart earn the money, which Bart does - by
trading nuclear secrets with the Chinese government

Another dateless Valentine's day leads Moe to a seminar on how to do better with women,
but when he is told that his only chance is to have a wingman, he starts dating with
Homer at his side, which works - for both of them; when Marge discovers a gray hair
and is told by her hairdresser that she's been going gray for years, she decides to stop
dyeing it blue, only to be treated as if she's a senior citizen

"The Simpsons are going to..." the Academy Awards when Bart's comic strip "Angry Dad"
is turned into an animated short that is nominated for an Oscar - at least Bart
and Lisa are at the Oscars, while Homer and Marge are sent off somewhere so Bart can
be sure Homer doesn't steal the spotlight for the movie at yet another awards show

Lisa notices that a flower in Springfield's desert makes scorpions docile, but when she
turns the flowers' essence into liquid form to run additional tests at home, Homer tries
it on Grampa, turning him nice as well; after Lisa gets rid of the flower essence, a
drug manufacturer distills some from Grampa and turns it into a pill, which makes Grampa
happy again, although it does make his eyeballs pop out of their sockets - something
that is happing to quite a few people after Bart started selling the pills to them

When Tommy Chong gets tired of the "old school" Cheech & Chong routines during their nationwide
reunion tour, Cheech Marin finds a new partner - Homer - and "Cheech & Chunk" perform
the classics, while Chong teams up with Principal Skinner to form "Teech & Chong"; Marge discovers
that the Cat Lady is a hoarder, but she ends up becoming a hoarder herself

At a football game, when Bart won't don't do anything when there is a picture of him
on the giant screen, Homer tickles him to the point where Bart wets his pants, so
Marge suggests that Homer go to therapy, where he is put on the receiving end of a
choking for once (by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar), causing Homer to see Kareem every time he
even thinks about choking Bart, which leads to Bart turning into the new school bully,
except that Bart's victims tend to be adults

When Lisa tries to get rid of Marge's remaining peaches after one too many nights of
all-peach dinners, she stumbles into the house of an old magician who takes her under
his wing, and teaches her the secret of his greatest illusion, which she performs -
and then absent-mindedly tells the son of a rival magician, who tries to perform it for
himself, although thanks to Ricky Jay, David Copperfield, and Penn & Teller, "tries" is
the word for it

...now include Selma, who gets on Fat Tony's good side after a showdown at the DMV,
but Selma puts a strain on her relationship with Marge when she puts "family" in front
of family; Lisa doesn't need to subject pigs to sniffing out truffles, as she has
something just as effective, if not quite as intelligent - Bart

Homer discovers yet another hidden talent - hairdressing - that prompts him to open
his own salon, but along with great power comes great responsibility - he has to put up
with women talking all day long; Milhouse announces to the whole school that he loves Lisa,
only for Lisa to tell him she'll never love him back, then wonder why a fifth-grade girl would
suddenly take an interest in him

When looking for the spare car key in the key drawer (to get to Maggie, who locked herself in
the car along with the car keys), the Simpsons find keys that lead them in three directions;
Homer has the key to the Duff Brewery, which leads to a joyride in the Duff Blimp; Marge and
Maggie find a key to a wind-up train that makes flatulent noises; Lisa finds a key to a room
of "Banned Band Books" which is really a mysterious empty classroom

When Mrs. Krabappel is punished after hitting Bart for causing yet another school prank, Bart
tries to get her out of it, only for him to almost kill her; when Ned saves the day, he and
Edna start dating, only for Ned to discover the long list of men who used to be in her life

NOTE: All titles and synopses for episodes in development are subject
to later modification.