How to Single-handedly Peel Limau Mandarin

Mandarin Season is Here!

First, you MUST have a limau mandarin. If you have limau kasturi or limau gedang or limau purut or limau kantonis (hoh… ada ke?), probably you got the wrong idea. Let alone other fruit like apple, pineapple, papaya, banana or Havana my heart in Atlanta and Britney’s song is on and we party in the USA. Eh.

Next, you must have the willingness to peel the limau mandarin or the oranges / tangerines. If you don’t have that. neither Socrates nor Plato pon boleh tolong. Then when you have acquired the two things (1. limau mandarin, 2. willingness), you might wanna watch this video. I personally prepared it for this limau mandarin season. lol

There you go! Easypeasybusydizzy. #winwalkwave . Gong Xi Fa Cai!!

Limau is Lyfe!

Now. I’m going to answer some FAQ (frequently asked questions) I found on the net regarding peeling oranges or lime. Q is for question and A is for my answer.

Q: Can I peel without using my hands?

A: Sure. You might wanna try using your feet instead. I’ve seen people with such capability and I think it’s remarkable

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Q: Can I use my teeth?

A: Definitely! Especially if you plan to turn your sweet tooth sour.

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Q: I don’t feel like peeling

A: I’m not sure if that’s a question but okay, pal. *pats shoulder*

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Q: What if my hands are missing?

A: Oh poor you. How did you type this question??

Q: That’s not even an answer!!!

A: Okaaaaaayyy~ Well technically, you can still use other limbs of yours. Depending on your skill set and mastery, I think you will accomplish the peeling activity with dignity. I would suggest you learn from these inspiring people, Nick Vujicic and Bethany Hamilton, who overcome hurdles and obstacles in life with missing limbs. =)

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Q: Can the oranges feel the pain? You know… technically we skin them, though..

A: I wouldn’t let your imagination to take over.. my.. logic… which… so… .. . . oh boy. Yes, they feel the pain. They’re hurt. Just like when we skin humans alive. But we mafia we’re very good at it. Especially the Russian mobs. Death is an art, you know? We skin people like we peel oranges – neurosurgeon precision. Oh how lovely the skins are. Once detached, the veins of the flesh of the oranges become visible to our feasting eyes. And then we-

Q: GOD!! YOU’RE CRAZY!! A: AND YOU’RE NOT FUNNY!!!

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Q: What do I do with the lime / orange / tangerine after that? What about the kulit limau?

A: You can consume the limau mandarin (or whatever citrus you’re having) little by little. For the kulit limau, you can throw them into the trashcan. Or, you can shove an entire limau mandarin down your throat. If it gets stuck midway, your Adam’s apple might just become Adam’s orange. BHAHAHAHAHA.