Semi-colons don’t like me. They never have. Not since I offended them, placing them next to a Conjunction. Apparently they don’t get on. Some feud way back when the Colon was the big shot in town. But then the Semi-colon came along, and Grammar has never been the same. The conjunction never forgave the Semi-colon for ousting its friend, the Colon, out of all the good Sentences.

I only made the mistake once, but it was enough for the Semi-colon never to trust me again. Try though I did to make it up to them, putting them between all the best Clauses, they were never satisfied.

They never behaved how they were supposed to after that day. The darn Semi-colons started turning up places I swear I hadn’t put them! Wedging themselves in between unconnected Sentences, sticking themselves to the end of them, even turning up where the Comma used to live! And then, when I put them in between their Clauses, nice and safe, they started running all over the page! Hiding, trying to disguise themselves as Colons!

Well, Semi-colons, I say enough is enough. I’m tired of you and your feisty little friends playing tricks on me. I’m taking over my writing again, and you will stay where I put, or else I’ll leave you off the page and put a Comma in your place! How would you feel then, Semi-colon, knowing you’d been replaced by a measly Comma? You wouldn’t like it, would you? Well, I suggest you remember that the next time you decide to play funny beggars, roaming around my paragraphs like you own them.