That’s how Bernard Kilpatrick’s lawyer summed up the federal government’s public corruption case today, scoffing at the government’s claim that his client used his son’s job as mayor to line his own pockets.

Bernard Kilpatrick was never part of any such conspiracy, nor did he ever extort anyone, argued his lawyer, John Shea.

Moreover, he said, just because Bernard Kilpatrick’s son was mayor didn’t mean he did anything illegal by helping businesses land city deals -- and getting paid for it – during his son’s tenure.

“It’s hogwash,” Shea said of the government’s racketeering claim. “Bernard Kilpatrick was doing legitimate work for legitimate clients and got legitimately paid for it.”

And sometimes, Shea added, Bernard Kilpatrick, who was a consultant, unfairly got stiffed by his clients -- even though he helped bring deals to the table.

Shea also argued that there’s nothing illegal about Bernard Kilpatrick having special access to the mayor, and advocating on behalf of his clients.

“Was it easier for Bernard Kilpatrick to get a meeting with his son? Absolutely,” Shea said. “Maybe it’s unfair, but it’s not illegal.”

During his nearly two-hour closing argument, Shea lambasted several government witnesses who testified that Bernard Kilpatrick extorted them. He argued that the witnesses – businessmen who were looking for city deals – used his client for his connections and to get contracts approved, and then turned on him when they themselves got into trouble with the law.

“Many of them now have the nerve to say he extorted them?!” Shea argued, his voice rising at times. “It’s Alice in Wonderland down-the-rabbit-hole kind of stuff, where the manipulators and fixers become the victims.”

Shea also conceded that while Bernard Kilpatrick got angry at times with his clients, and cussed them out over the phone, he had good reason to be angry. They owed him money for services he had provided, he said, and he wasn’t shy about pushing back.

“I’m not trying to make Bernard Kilpatrick out to be a saint,” Shea said. “But he’s not guilty of these crimes.”

Next up is Gerald Evelyn, who will deliver his closing arguments on behalf of Kilpatrick’s contractor pal, Bobby Ferguson.