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Author
Topic: Dating Thread Part XIII: HOLIDAZE!! (Read 31894 times)

Congratulations on your son NY I would love to see his picture. What did you name him?

Queen I like your attitude with Rico. You sound empowered. That's awesome.

Sorry your not feeling well Cindy.

Hope you had a nice Hanukkah Cammie. Good luck with the new guy.

I started with the Christmas goodies today. I made white chocolate dipped pretzels. Next I'll make fudge. Then I'll do cookies and maybe some other easily packaged goodies. I give my family a gift basket or bag of sweets for Christmas gifts every year. It started out as a gift I could afford to give and now its tradition with the added benefit that I can afford to give it. I only buy presents for children and my sweetheart.Now that me and Billy's kids are all over the age of 18 its getting more difficult to think of things to get them that I can afford to give. My son is ok with whatever I give him. Billy's son isn't very close to me. He is one of those guys who is stand offish. So he is hard to get close to. I think I have a decent relationship with his girlfriend. She's pregnant. Billy and I where her guardians for a while before she turned 18. She was in the foster system. I'm not worried too much about it. I just don't know what to do for everyone.I know it will turn out fine. I'm kinda moody right now. Hormones.... Not bitchy feeling more like fragile.

Its hard to keep up with all the post before I decide I have something to say. I hope I didnt leave anyone out. Hope you all have happy holidays.

Thanks for the get well wishes, Win. Did you know my married name was FUDGE from October 1994 to November 1999? My husband died of AIDS in August 1996.

I just saw that you were making fudge, so I have to be a smart-ass and make a comment. I ate some E.L. Fudge cookies tonight, too, lol!

Its OK to feel fragile, Win, its Christmas and I feel vulnerable myself. The holidays do that to me, stir up emotions and stuff.

Queen, I am trying to get you on IM but no one's home, lol! I hope you're feeling better soon. Yeah, sometimes those medicines just make you cough even more to get the stuff outta your chest. I started on Sudafed PE Cough and Cold (white box with orange letters) tonight and I feel better already! I still sound like Jabba the Hut, but at least I can get some words out now without squeaking!

This will be short and will give you all of the updates this weekend. With working 12 hour shift and typing all day its hard for me to come home and post, my hands and wrists need a break.

MOON- SORRY I MISSED YOUR BDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Well I am sorry to hear that Cam's date was a no go. I am sure she must be upset that she did not get to see him and the build that we put ourselves through about disclosing. My LatinLover seems to be back in the picture, but he says just as friends right now. We are going out Saturday night so we will see how that goes. I will elaborate more later.

I am off to PM NY so I can see a picture of the baby and wish her some well wishes.

Good morning ladies:Cin, Queen, I do hope you ladies are feeling better soon! Cin, this seems to have been going on for quite a long time. Are you sure it's just allergies? And Queen, I hope the new meds work for you. Cristy, I hope you find the presents you're looking for for Robert. I stay away from the mall this time of year. Hell, I stay away from the mall any time of the year! I just don't like crowds and people tend to be so rude.

NY, I hope you're feeling well. How is the little guy?

Wini, I hope you're doing better. The holidays are a lot to handle for some people.

Well, I went to the HIV support group last night. There was only one other female there, and she only stayed about 1/2 an hour because she had to go to work. So after that, I was the only female. I guess the ladies in this town are all too paranoid to go to the ASO for fear of stigmatization. Really too bad. I don't worry about that kind of stuff. I never did. I never went through a period of being "scared." I have a very strong family, though. I'm more of an outspoken person if someone rattles my cage. Anyway, it was a good time. I saw a couple people I knew. I won't be going next Thursday, because my church is having a Blue Christmas program for people who have lost someone close in the last year and since I lost my mum, I think it would be a good idea to go to it. And I think one of my classes next semester is going to be on Thursday night, so I won't be able to go when the semester starts back up. Le sigh.

Other than that, not much going on. I hope all you ladies have a good day-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hello, ladies. Hope everyone is well. I am okay, just tired. We had 100 people last night but I am off tonight. Yah!!!! Queen, I hope you get to feeling better. I also hope you find a way to the doctor. It sucks when your car is broken or you don't have one.I remember you said you sold the Caprice but didn't you get a Buick after that? But it needed fixing? Dragonette, looking forward to your pm. Looks like lots of us make tasty treats to give away during the holiday season. I do cookies, pretzels and candy's. I am going to try crushing peppermint and mixing it with the white chocolate this year to see how it tastes. I might also dip my Chocolate chip cookies in Chocolate. Of course, I will make a small test batch for the house and if it passes, then I will make a large batch for giving Cammie, sorry about your date, when did you reschedule for? ML, hope you feel better. SS, hope Saturday with LL goes well. Anybody I missed. Hope you have a great weekend. Cristy

Date was post poned until tonight. Dinner and movie. I suppose I disclosed after dinner. I am so freaked. Oh, and thanks for the Hanukkah wishes, but I'm not jewish. I was throwing that out there for any of you girls who might be

I am in a bit of a mood again. This time my landlord is the cause. He shows up at 10 am banging on my door. I didn't hear anything since I had my hearing aid out, the one that still works cause I was sleep. My roomie heard him but I am pissed because for one when she came to the door, he wasn't there but then he comes back and let's himself in!!!! My roomie wakes me up and he goes on to tell me that the inspector is here to check the smoke alarms....I am not a pleasant person when being woke out of my sleep!!! I go on to shout that we are suppose to be given a 48 hour notice on things like that and not just let yourselves in. After my bitching, all they check is one fucking smoke alarm, I was livid. Honestly, I am still pissed about that. I don't like my privacy invaded which is how I felt.

To make matters even worse, I take my left hearing aid up to the ENT office and Ed, the guy who fitted them for me, comes and talks to me. He is going to put my hearing aid in some machine that I guess gets the wax or moisture out of them, it takes about 6 hours. If that doesn't work then I am pretty much shit out of luck because my warranty expired and the program that paid for them will only help every 5 years...I thought my one insurance would cover it but I am not sure yet, I have to give them a call.

But that is pretty much my day in a nutshell.......

Modified to add: Just got off the phone with my insurance. They will pay up to $1500 on hearing aids but I don't think they will pay to repair the one I have so I may end up getting a new one if it isn't more than $1500. I left Ed a message letting them know what they said so now I am waiting on him to call back.

Queen, I recall you saying you have partial hearing, so are sounds quiet and muffled without the hearing aids? Just curious. I can't imagine relying on something like that every day and then not having one work. I know how I feel when I lose a contact lens and can't see. We become so dependent on things like that to get us through our day to day.

I am still coughing and garbling and blowing my nose, but my voice is better today, just really husky instead of disappearing altogether.

I got my first paycheck, and its only a little more than my unemployment was, but this is with the taxes taken out this time, at least. I don't know how I am going to make ends meet. I plan on doing a budget this weekend to take a good look at things. Thank God for MADAP, I just wish they covered my test strips too!

Wishful~ As far as your BF (and Rico, too, for Queen)....Guys who are wishy washy and keep going back and forth to another woman, or who are wrapped around the mother of their child's finger, drive me insane. I have NEVER tolerated guys who have their heart stuck somewhere else and can't "man up." I understand that your BF has a child involved, but there are zillions of couples who are divorced and make things work in the child's favor. IMO, you should tell him to make sure that his child is still a big part of his life by putting him/her FIRST, but also, your BF needs to do things to make himself happy as well. Its just a new lifestyle that he will have to get used to.

Now don't YOU go feeling like you broke up a household, cause you didn't. As far as I know, you aren't the reason he split with the mother of his child, but even if you were, it takes two to tango. Comprendez? Yeah, I'm a hard ass when it comes to doing the right thing. There are certain rules I play by and what it all comes down to is RESPECT. If you don't respect me, then you give me no choice but to leave your ass, no matter how broken my heart feels. And if you are the reason for my heartache, then its on YOUR conscience, not mine. I am pretty resilient, I must say. And if you can't make up your damn mind and do the right thing, then in my opinion you aren't strong enough to be with me. I have a difficult time with weak people. No whiners for me, buck up, I say!

I am going to group tonight and then to Iceman's for the weekend. Its supposed to be cloudy here tomorrow so Iceman will put the new tires on my Liberty at his employee price. This will be just in time for the crap that's supposed to blow in here Sunday. Maybe it won't be so bad.

OK, Cam, get your socks outta the fridge and microwave them. Its almost date time! Best of luck tonight with this, be as confident as you can, it works wonders! Whenever I downplayed the virus while disclosing the other guy seemed to handle it better. I know, easier said than done!

Wishful - from what I read there isn't much you can do aside from listening to him. He sounds like he misses being closer to his child. Support him spending as much time as he can with his kid. Be careful you don't get your heart broke with this guy. He sounds like he doesn't know what he wants.

Cindy - I read that Fudge thing in the fruitcake post. Funny. That name must have been a pain in the ass with all the snickers and jokes that come with it. Either that or a continual source of entertainment.

Queen - I hope you can get a working hearing aid soon. God it must be frustrating for you.

Thanks for the well wishes ladies. I'm menstrual right now so I'm more emotional than usual. Plus I've had some worse than usual days here lately. Personal stuff. But its getting better. I hate to complain this emotional crap is so not like me. I hate it when girls act like I am right now. LOL So instead of stuffing my feelings I shared it with you gals. What little I did share. Jeeezz... I can tell I took a couple of pain killers cause I don't make any damn since what so ever. I don't think...

My boyfriend has a son with his ex-wife, so maybe I have a little perspective.

Just because your boyfriend misses his son does not mean he wants his ex back in his life. My boyfriend misses his son ALL of the time -- especially if it is not his weekend or it is a holiday. It is confusing as a girlfriend sometimes - but try to listen to what he has to say .... it is very possible that he has no desire to go back to his ex, he just misses his son and wishes his son was with the two of you. I think it is natural for him to miss his son and this is something you can work through .. just try not to think that because he misses it his son, it means you are not enough. It is NOT the case -- it's a separate issue, ok ? It is a GOOD sign that he misses his son ... and he can love you plenty while he still might always miss his son when he is not around.

Queen, I sure hope you get a workable hearing aid soon. It must really be frustrating to not be able to hear clearly.

Wishful, I feel the same way Cin does about your bf. I really don't have much else to say right now. Maybe more later when you tell us how things are going.

Anyway, not much going on today. I'm going out to eat with a friend of mine later and going to an NA meeting. Still waiting on the phenotype test. Oh, the Valtrex the doc prescribed for my cold sore did nothing. So, back to the drawing board. I'll call the doc Monday and see what he suggests now. Maybe it's not the herpes type (what other type of cold sore is there though? ).

Oh, and Cin, welcome to the world of budgeting on a shoe string! I know how you feel, gf. I don't have a mortgage or car payment, but I have to budget out $765 a month. And you know what? You know the raise that people on SS make every year? Well, next year, my raise isn't even $20! I'll only be getting $783! What a joke. But anything is better than nothing I guess.

OK, I hope all you ladies have a good day!

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

First off I never ever was so scared in my life. I've disclosed to the moms and pops, the ex, but this was totallly different. We went for dinner (where he told me he loved me omg) and when got to his apartment I said do you have anything to drink....cause I'm thinking we'll need it. We get beer and its time to disclose.

thanks em for the thoughts on the intro

I said needed to share something and it was huge....long story short I told him, he accepted, he still loves, and boy thank you God, life is GOOD.And then I got the massage of my life and life got even sweeter.

Thank so much everyone for your encouraging words I am forever grateful.

Wishful = I live in jersey so if want to hook up, don't feel like we left u in the cold. As you might know, so of us pop in and out so quickly its hard to get all the posts.

and heck, I 'm lucky if I find the right post......there are so many of this dating thread.

Hello ladies. Wishful, I didn't respond cause I didn't know what to say. Some of the more eloquent ladies gave you better replies than I could. Best of luck to you with that situation. Cammie, Yeah!!!!!!!!!!! Glad the disclosure went so well. Wishing you lots of happiness. Robert and I went to the Dollar Tree last night and to Libby Hill's . All his shopping is done and most of mine. Just gotta get to work on the goodies. I will start Monday I can give them out Friday at work.. lots to do. Hope everyone is well. Cristy

Queen, Cin how's the sneeze and the cough? i am not feeling 100% myself, last night was freezing, usually I sleep as God intended but I really had to cover up. work up at 1100 would have been later but the alarm for my drugs rang. i am sorry about your hearing aid Queen. I think 1500 should be enough to cover a new one no I have no idea how much they are. Life so so complicated...

I just put the BF on the train, I'll see him in Spain 6 days from now. and they will be a very full 6 days, tons of things to do, at work and in general. i dont wanna stress. i have the hospital too, havent heard my cd4 and vuiral load in ages, not since the resistance drama. and also will get the resistance test results.

other exciting stuff like the mouth hygenist etc...

wishful, I agree with what Sara said, sorry for overlooking you before. i always have to choose btw popping in for a quick read or doing in thoroughly just every few days, so i guessn i missed you. i never dated a dad but i spose its part of the package. however, there is a line drawn btw being a good dad and being still in the past... hard to say where it is really, gotta know the person.

Cindy, i guess this job will be a filler for you, after all your overqualified. you wont stay there forever, but for now you will budget. that's tough... you can get some tips from Betty I think. Not having a car saves me tons of money, but it is not an option everywhere. I doubt I'd be living at home without a car.

hope everyone has a fun weekend lined up. Mine will be quiet but busy. sounds like we have some hardworking women here - Cristy, Wendy... for me just maintanence (cleaning etc) is a lot. it hasnt always been like that. but since diagnosis i am more and more slow and tired.

hugs to all,

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

First of all, CONGRATS TO CAM!!!! I am so happy that the disclosure went well. Spencer sounds like a very mature, supportive guy, who trusts you and who is crazy about you! I am thrilled that everything went well last night and that you also got a great massage, too! I know that helped you to relax after the tension leading to the disclosure. OOOh! And he said he loved you? OMG, you have a good one girl, enjoy him, enjoy him, ENJOY HIM! Now whatcha gonna get him for Christmas? You with a bow on yourself? LOL

WOO-HOO FOR CAM AND SPENCER! WOO-HOO FOR CAM AND SPENCER!

I am sitting in Iceman's kitchen ripping CDs onto his laptop for him. He was out the door and down the road at 9am to go put tires on my Liberty. I can't believe how good he is to me. Iceman and his ways remind me of a line from one of my favorite songs, "Sweetest Taboo" by Sade. "Everyday is Christmas, and every night is New Year's Eve......" I tell you, that's how its been for the two of us. Yesterday was 6 weeks since our first date.

I am still blowing my congested nose but the cough is a little better. It kinda comes and goes, so I think its allergies for sure. At least Iceman won't catch a cold from me, lol!

Drag~ I hope you get to take things at your pace today so you can get back to 100% before your travels! I can't wait to hear how meeting the " 'Rents" goes! It should be a great time for you! Just make sure to sit whenever you can, and drink lotsa water. Sometimes I get so run down just from being on my feet all day, without even really exerting myself much. Maybe its the fibromyalgia in my neck and back. Thanks for saying I'm overqualified for my job, Drag. You are so right. I have a college degree and I have managed businesses before on the administrative side, and here I am pecking at a healthcare company. What's really nice is not having to interact with the public right now. I can just zone out and take it easy, while still being productive, so that's a good thing!

Cindy - I read that Fudge thing in the fruitcake post. Funny. That name must have been a pain in the ass with all the snickers and jokes that come with it. Either that or a continual source of entertainment.

Win~ Yeah being "Fudge" WAS a "pain in the ass" along with all of the "snickers." OK, mind is in the gutter today, but who gives a shit? LOL

I hope you get back to feeling like your normal self again soon, Win. You can be emotional here anytime, venting will turn you into a heavyweight before you know it!

Shout out to Queen, how are things with the hearing and Rico, GF? Check in when you get your ass up!

Hello to Cristy and Sara and the "Guest" Early Birds reading here! You girls should create a screen name and join us. You can still remain totally anonymous. The humor and support here is great for the soul! Hello to all of the other Dating Threads girls who are out shopping or just stirring on this cozy Saturday!

Ah, but my mood has changed somewhat from the post above. Well, not really changed, but there's something I left out. I have what I feel are two significant anniversaries in the next week. One is today, 12/15, and the other is 12/22. I'll post about 12/22 as the date draws nearer.

Today is the day Doofus showed up at my door on a Friday night last year, 60 miles south of the new home he was building for us. I had no idea that he had gotten an HIV test done after seeing his doctor for a sprained ankle right after Thanksgiving.

The HIV test had come back "inconclusive" and had sent Doofus reeling into a tailspin of paranoia and doubt about our future together, despite the two of us having been a couple for 2-1/2 years. "Inconclusive" to me means that some dumbass at the lab handled your specimen wrong. Nevermind that Doofus and I had sex as often as you filed taxes, translate "quarterly," as we were extremely busy working on our log home in the mountains of Pennsylvania. Doofus was convinced that the HIV bug was destined to crawl out of me and underneath the condom, its sole purpose only to get him and infect him.

Oh, puh-LEASE.

So, Doofus was very upset that night, we talked, he went to counseling on his own and had a series of rapid tests done over the next two weeks. Paranoia is a deep destroyah......you know? So, it was December 15, 2006 that all of my starry-eyed plans for the future seemed to dim a little as the uncertainty set in. How long would Doofus need to go to counseling before he felt better about all of this? How hard should I try to convince him, educate him further that we were safe, that I had kept HIM safe from seroconverting? How many more frikkin rapid tests was he going to get?

I decided not to be a leg-humper and when he came over to "talk" again on December 29th, two weeks later, it was over. You have heard me say before that if a man isn't there 100% for me, why bother to hold on to him (i.e. leg-hump)?

I had no idea that almost a year later, after a summer full of self-doubt, unemployment and health concerns, that a man would come into my life and sweep me off of my feet. I knew "I" could love again, I just didn't know if anyone would ever love ME again, unconditionally giving to me what I knew for certain I could give to them.

And then Iceman found me. I can't put into words how overwhelmingly wonderful this relationship has been for us. I see it as the beginning of a long journey with this man.

Oh, and Doofus? He tested negative over and over again, met a white trash redneck on eHarmony and married her three weeks later in March of this year.

"Good luck with that," I say.

(You know after going deep with this post, I had to throw in some of my twisted humor for good measure. )

Wishful--- I have been keeping up with your post and the responses to it. It can be difficult being with someone who has kids with another, I go through that with Rico. And his ex uses the kid like he is a pawn in some game which really pisses me off because I know how much Rico wants to spend time with his son. Even though I am not in a relationship with Rico, I try to encourage him about his son. Give him some legal advice because I have been where he is, now whether he reacts to what I've told him is on him. Rico was going through some drama about his son just last night. I'm rambling a bit, what I am saying is try to be patient with your man in regards to that and supportive if you can. When you are dealing with anyone who has kids when you accept them, you have to accept the kids or the situation. I don't mind playing second fiddle to Rico's kid or the situation but I refuse to play second to the ex. I just stay out the situation and usually when Rico needs to vent, he comes to me. If you need to talk away from the thread, feel free to PM.

Cindy--- Funny, you mention Sade and that song. I was just listening to that song last night. I was going to mak e it a ringtone on my phone but settled for Vanity 6- Drive Me Wild. I also like Sade's Is it a crime..And why are you still concerned about Doofus? Girl, you got Iceman, drop that anniversary and celebrate the new one you have made..Look up Tony, Toni, Tone (spelled just like that) and listen to their song Anniversary. I love that song, not sure if it is on YouTube.

Now to Camille--- Great news indeed. I am very happy for you, gf. So in between those dates and massages, you better start posting more, woman!!!! You are long overdue for some happiness. All I can say is Work it girl!!!

It is very frustrating trying to hear with one hearing aid. I usually have to position myself to the right if anyone speaking to me so I can piece together what they are saying. Same thing goes for the phone unless someone is text messaging me. I didn't hear back from Ed (the guy working on my hearing aid), I guess I will hear something back on Monday.

Rico has plans for today but I am suppose to see him later on tonight. With things going the way they have for him, not sure if tonight is a definite or not. Honestly, I am not even concerned about it. If he shows up great, if he doesn't that's ok too. My attitude towards him has been kind of like whatever.

The cough has gotten a bit better. I mainly just cough up stuff when I first wake up. I am still taking the azithromycin which I think is helping. I take the cough syrup at night before I go to bed. I have a bit of a tummy ache today but that is from the munchies of last night.... I guess I will just be taking it easy today...

Girl, we got hit with a few inches from what I can see from looking out the window. Her Majesty has all she needs and did not have to venture out in that crap. I did catch a chill when I check for the mail today. Rico was suppose to have come over and made the attempt by riding his bike. He busted his ass (still laughing about that even though it's not funny.. ) and decided to stay home. I could've paid for him a cab to come over but decided he's still in the dog house with me thus no favors here. Plus it will give him the opportunity to miss me. Ain't I just the Royal Bitch.....

Cin, we got hit! (snow wise) We have about 10 inches out there right now and the lake effect snow has just started! Ugh! I suppose after I eat breakfast I will be out shoveling my way through what I can. OK, I'm sorry, but I don't remember the whole story on "Doofus." But anyway, I'm glad it's just a memory now and not a current reality. I'm glad you have Iceman. Did he get the tires put on your Liberty? I need snow tires, but I can't afford them what with putting all the money I just did into my car. So I guess I'll just have to get around with the tires I have on the old Crown Vic' right now. Hey, have you been baking any goodies yet?

Queen, I don't blame you for being the way you are to Rico. Why not? I wouldn't pay for a cab. You know, when I was seeing my first husband, before we got married, he used to hitch-hike from the town he lived in to where I was to see me. Even in the snow! (I know, it sounds like the old story, "we used to walk through snow..."). But it's true. He lived in a town about 15 miles west of where I lived, so every Sunday he would hitch-hike (regardless of the weather) to my parents' house to see me. Wow. I guess he did love me, even though he used to be physically abusive. The only time he would get physically abusive though was when he was drunk. But now I'm drifting off into another story, so I'll stop. Hey, did you get a lot of snow?

Drag, take it easy on yourself before you have to go trecking off to Spain. Have you ever been there before? I would love to go sometime. Hell, I'd just like to go somewhere that's in the United States on a vacation. Seriously, I've always wanted to go to Spain. And Greece. I'd love to see all the ancient ruins. When are you going to get your CD4s and viral load? Please let us know what your numbers are, if you feel comfortable doing that.

Yesterday I went to Big Lots and got some socks and Payless Shoes and got some dress boots. And they were on sale for $24! I'm so used to paying Goodwill prices. I don't understand paying over $50 for a pair of shoes/boots. But that's just me. I guess if I had the money to spend like that, I surely would. But I've gotten some good deals at Goodwill before. I just got a pair of Docker shoes there Thursday for $4.50. A lot of good they'll do me now though, with all the snow we've got.

Cristy, do you get snow where you live? I hope you're taking care of yourself, girl! Don't work too hard! I'm glad you're checking in here regularly again.

Anyway, ladies, that's all for now. I'm off to eat a little breakfast and shovel!

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I get the reminiscing about Doofus. I have my own Doofus. Totally different story of course. For me once I love a guy I'll always love him, in a way. I don't want to be with my Doofus but I still love him and think of him on occasion. His idiocy makes me laugh at him sometimes and other times it makes me shake my head with shame for him. I wish him well but I'm glad I'm not with him because even though I love him I deserve better.

I'm working on collecting Christmas songs for a CD to burn. I might burn a few for family but I don't know if I will or not yet.I made 5 pounds of fudge yesterday. I plan on packaging it today. Not sure what I'll make next. Maybe I'll look online for ideas of other goodies that package easily and have a decent shelf life.

Ya'll have any ideas aside from cookies? yes I said ya'll...I'm southern LOL

Hello ladies. Betty, no snow here but a good bit of rain. The temperature will drop below freezing tonight so whatever water is left will freeze. We really need the rain cause there is a statewide burning ban. We had luminaries at work but had to stop using them because of the ban. I am taking good care of myself, the only thing I'm probably not getting enough of is sleep but when Robert gets up at 5am every morning , that makes for less sleep time. He does go to bed at 7 so I get a couple hours to myself unless I am working. I work a holiday tea this evening but it'll only be about 4 hours so I'll be home by 8. Wendy, you could make chocolate covered pretzels, mini pretzels, candy coating, parchment paper and you can top them with sprinkles or crushed peppermint or stuff like that. I also make solid chocolate candies, but you have to have molds . i wanted to make chocolate dipped strawberries but they don't travel well or last long. Hope everyone else is well. i will check back later. Cristy

The snow has disappeared here again but doesn't doubt that it's cold as shit out there. It seems like it has been raining here too. I honestly think we may have a mild winter here but then winter isn't officially here yet either. I'm still in the bed with my laptop and peeking over at the tv watching Pulp Fiction. Glad it's not my turn for the store run today, it's the roomies.... The cough is just about gone now. I just cough a bit in the morning when I get up. I didn't take the cough medicine at all last night so I know that the antibiotics is working, thank the Goddess.

Sundays are lazy days for me. There is usually not much in the way of house cleaning to do around here since me and the roomie pretty much stay on top of that during the week. I think the Cowboys play today around 4, I'll be checking that game out. I may play a bit of Warcraft today and just chill. Once the munchies kick in, I'll prolly go make a salad.

I think we all have had our own Doofus at one point or another in our lives. They appeared in our lives for a reason even if we are not sure why. Maybe just so we'd be aware of what a Doofus can be like and avoid another one at all costs.... Who the hell knows really... Have a good day, ladies....

Oh, I have had plenty of doofus'. Yes, I think we've all had our share.

Cristy! One of your dragons has hatched! It's really cute! You sound like you'll be busy for awhile with all that candy making.

Queen, it looks like you've got another egg to hatch. So did it ever snow there yesterday? We really got it here. And with all the blowing and drifting, a lot of the roads are icey, very icey. I hate driving on ice. I'd rather drive on just snow. Anyway, I think maybe someone went down my alley with a plow. I hope so as I have to go out today to get a few things at the store.

Cin, where are you at? Oh, you're probably at work right now. How was your weekend?

Wendy-5 LBS OF FUDGE?! Wow, that's a lot of fudge. I wish I could give you a really good recipe for some kind of candy, but I just make fudge and cookies. Cristy sounds like she's got a few good tricks up her sleeve.

Well, like I was saying above, we got clobbered with snow yesterday. I did go out once to 7-11 to get a Sunday paper, but then on the way back into my parking space I got stuck! I had to rock the car to get unstuck. I hope I'm not repeating a story I've already told. Anyway, my brother, who lives here now, but did live in Alaska when attending the U of A there, said people in Indiana are just chicken-shits, that we should try driving in Alaska for awhile. Hello! I don't want to even visit Alaska! (Well, I wouldn't turn down a free trip there or anything). I couldn't handle the times when it would be dark for 20 hrs a day or light for 20 hrs. That would just drive me insane! But, some people love it there. I'm not really a wintery person. If I had the money, I'd probably move to California or Arizona. I have a sister who lives in Arizona and she said she misses the change of seasons. Of course, if she wants to see snow, she just drives a couple hours up into the mountains. That would be ideal for me, not having to live in the snow, but being able to see it if I wanted to. Well ladies, have a great day-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Good morning everyone! Only 3 more days and I am on Winter Break... I love this break. It is just the right amount of days off and then I am ready to go back and see the kids. Of course the hardest time are the days just before vacation. They are excited too and it is difficult to keep them "together".

All this candy and cookie making! I am starting mine this week. I am going to attempt to make fudge for the first time this year...wish me luck!

All this weather you guys are having! I can't say that I can relate. Today is supposed to be 65 and I think that is COLD! We definitely do not get the seasons here in Southern California. Stay warm wherever you are...

Yep, it finally did come down, there's snow everywhere. I hate winter too, Betty. Funny considering that I am a Capricorn and considered an Earth sign. I don't like being cold, I am one of those people that likes to be lukewarm, not too hot but not too cold. You don't get many days like that. My thing is why can't winter go just as fast as summer seems to? Just when you get to enjoying the summer, it's gone but winter seems to linger like a Bible Thumper who hangs around your door....

I don't have much planned today. I am going to cook a pork roast. I took it out of the freezer last night to thaw. I'll probably start prepping that around 2 and let it sit to marinate in some Arbor Mist til around 4 then cook it. Rico is suppose to come over today. He only said it because I was talking trash to him yesterday. I was actually joking with him about being out in this mess yesterday since he mentioned he walked over to his ex mother in laws house. Not sure if he went over there to see his kid or not. But he has been seeing his kid lately even after the ex left him a vm saying he couldn't see him anymore. So, I am not sure if the egoing to have to cut this short and get ready. I'll post a little later on.... Have a good day ladies...x in laws are letting him see his or if the ex is playing games again.

I am a bit worried about Rico. I think he is an alcoholic. No, he doesn't drink all the time, only on his days off which is twice a week. I have teased him about this but he insists he is not because he doesn't drink all day every day. Still, the first thing he talks about is needing a beer but when he drinks, he doesn't get sloppy drunk. Hey, I know I am a pothead, no denials there and I usually twist a doobie up every morning upon waking.... He just called me. He just got out of work and on his way over. I guess I am going to have to cut this short and get ready. I'll post more later. Have a good day, ladies...

Queen, my first husband used to say "I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics drink every day." That's just a myth (that alcoholics drink every day). It really depends on what happens when someone drinks. Like if they lose control, have blackouts, can't control their consumption, things like that. I didn't drink every day, but when I did drink, I drank a hell of a lot. I never stopped until I puked or passed out. I had several blackouts during my heyday. Really, times I don't remember where I was, how I got where I was, who the person was I woke up next to etc. Of course, for many years, drugs played a large part of that. (Not pot-I quit that a long time before I quit the drinking because it made me extremely paranoid). I used coke until I blew out a couple of my heart valves from shooting up too much (when I was 16) and then switched to heroin for awhile (my reasoning was that downers would be good for my heart). Anyway, I'm prattling on.... I hope your evening with Rico goes well. Stay warm, girl! It's freezing here also and I don't like it one bit!

Viv, good luck with the final days of school and trying to keep the kids together! Do you have much planned for the winter break?

Anyway, today was pretty uneventful. I went to a couple grocery stores. Nothing exciting. I talked to my daughter for a few minutes. I had mailed her a package with cookies and fudge in it and she called to tell me that she got it. She was pretty excited. I'm glad. I miss her and wish she lived closer! (I live in Indiana, she lives in Washington). She came home when my mum passed and probably won't be able to come home again until next year. There are so many years of her life that I wasn't mentally present for because of the drug fog. But she's well adjusted and doing rather well for herself. She knows how much I love her and how sorry I am for not "being there" for a portion of her life. Today is what counts anyway.

I hope all you ladies have a good evening-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Maryland didn't get shit in the way of ice or snow, like they said we would. We got torrential rain Saturday night and then high winds Sunday which dried everything up. I thought my roof was going to blow off last night.

I went to Iceman's Friday night, took Cheech and stayed until Sunday night. Iceman got up early Saturday morning and went to his office to put my tires on. Four were reserved and a new girl there let one of em go to another customer, lol! So, Iceman sent a guy to another store to get one and all was done. I have cool new tires and Iceman saved me about $150 on them plus the cost of labor! Woo-hoo!

Iceman and I hung out at his place Saturday, made BLTs and soup for lunch, just had a cozy day inside, waiting for the snow storm that "wasn't." I took about 300 CDs to his place and uploaded them onto his computer so that he could get them onto his iPod. I almost got through all of them, but it took forever!

Sunday was movie day, football and upload more CDs day. Iceman says he likes to be a homebody just like me. Oh and I made brownies, too. Yum! Um, yes, we ate all of them this weekend!

I am getting very excited for Christmas! I can't believe I have a 4-day weekend coming up. Iceman will get to meet my parents and extended family on Christmas Day, so it should be a good time.

Happy Holidays Ladies. I have been offline a bit but wanted to touch base. I have read the post to get caught up. Sounds like a lot has been going on. I bettys post to Queen about alcoholics. I am a member of AA and I was taught fromt he big book and my sponsor that only you have tohe power to identify yourself as an alcoholic and only you can make a change if you want to. If you might think you may have a problem with alcohol and your life has become unmanageable then you may be an ahcololic and may want to check out a few AA meetings in your area or go onlne to http://www.aagrapevine.org/ as thisis anAA meeting in print and has links to many things you may want to learn about. Just an idea..May all of your holidays be full of Serenity, Love Good Health, Miralces and Gods Love. May we all have a miracle in 2008 and maybe they will find a cure for us all. God Bless you all. Dawn M. Simi Valley CA

I feel sick today, actually i didnt feel well for a few days but last night was the worst. its so cold here now, no doubt i got it cycling, although its not snowing its under zero. i was wearning 2 longsleeves ts, 2 housecoats, and covered with 2 duvets and the heating on but still was cold. my throat and head hurt too.

im going to go out shopping now, luckily there are some shop a couple minutes away. i still have to buy presents, for my BFs B-day and for his family. i am nervous from this trip, thats probabaly why I got ill.

Sounds like a cozy weekend Cindy! whoohoo

Queen, I know there are different kinds of alcoholics, there are certainly the functional ones that only get smashed on the weekends. I guess its hard to say when a drinking problem becomes alcoholis. i spose it starts when people drink to escape... have you talkd about it with R at all?You asked me to tell you about Mike - I posted in his thread. Actually my contact with Mike so far was several PMs and a phone call. usually I read about people here in difficult sitations but don't interfere at all, but there comes a time when it is just too much... Yeah I want to thank you ladies - Betty, Cindy, Queen - for your kindness. I think he could really use it.

Betty, be careful out there in all the snow and ice. hey, at least i dont have to dig my way out of my apartment. stay warm & drive carefully pls.

Oh yeah, you asked me about spain - i have been there before, once as a tourist pretty much all over the place, then with my BF lasy new years, when i met his family, and then for work, to the same city, but didnt see them. i think a lot of my nerves is that i physically changed so much in one year. i gained about 7 kgs, mostly in my stomach, but my face looks thin and drawn. i just dont feel good about myself anymore. i dont know how much is the actual meds, and how much is my lifestyle, stress etc. i thought that if i quit smoking, even though it was just a couple a day, i'd look better, but that didnt change much. i try to eat healthy and i excercise every 2-3 days (and of course just communting by bike is some form of daily excercise). but i feel like i have aged many years in just one year. im going to get my period in spain, which is always a mess of depression, anxiety, and physical illness. add to that having to hide my poz status from the family, and being on the usual super nice put on display mod of a visitor who cant even speak the language, i am just so not ready. i have seriously toyed with the idea of cancelling, but then i would just sit here in the freezing cold for 2 weeks and feel sorry for myself.

another problem is that although i have been able to be pretty open, i dont have many friends here, mostly b/c i do withdraw and i am tired, so i hardly ever meet people socially. in short i feel trapped within myself but without the enegry to do anything about it - especially not now when i have the flu...

Last night a cat showed up here, so I left him some milk and bacon. Then I thought how many of you have a cat. But I don't dare too, b/c this is an apartment and I would have to handle his shit and I am too scared of toxoplasmosis. I will get a dog one day though, a dog and a kid...

BTW they were not able to do a resistance test, but i was still detectable. the doc said my current regime will be a temporary one, he basically stright out asked me why dont we try to get pregnant already, so i can switch. medicine wise this would be the ideal place and time, but there are so many issues. even my apartment isnt suitable for that at all. if i'm freezing here what about a baby?

today they have Christmas drinks at work but I am missing all that...

Cristy, I hope your brother keeps the hell away, you deserve a nice time with the family this Christmas.

NY, hope you got some of those deadlines postponed. I think about you every time I think about having a baby. Are you getting any help with the baby and the kds? And what is his name?

Cammie, I'm waiting for more sunny stories.

Wendy, in my pst that crashed yesterday i posted alink with recipes, but later I looked again, I think they can't compete with yours.

Sun, I hope it goes better this time around. You gotta look out for you.

Cin, sounds like you had a really nice weekend. I wish I knew how to do everything you know how to do with a computer. I have downloaded several songs I would like to burn onto a CD, but I haven't a clue on how to do it. I suppose it would tell me step-by-step instructions if I went into the tutorial. I might do that during my holiday break from school. Love your avy by the way. I always liked the Rudolph cartoon when I was a kid, and I still do. I love the old Christmas cartoons. I used to look forward to them every year. Is Iceman ready to meet everyone?

Drag, I sure hope your cold gets better, especially before you have to travel. What's this about your meds? Your doctor wants you to become pregnant so he can change the meds? Why does he have to wait until you're pregnant to do that? And what exactly are your numbers like? Stay out of the cold as much as you can. I have a stuffy nose since I've been going out in the cold. Of course I don't cycle to where I have to go though. Please be careful and take care of yourself.

Serenity, good to hear from you again. I wish you would be a regular on here. How long have you been in recovery?

I really don't have a lot going on today. I'm going to return some DVDs to the library and I'm going to meet the agent where I get my renter's insurance from. I'd never had renter's insurance before, but figured with a new computer and a new t.v., I should get some. So his office called last week, saying he likes to meet his new customers, so I'm going today to meet with him. The place is clear on the other side of town. Had I known they were that far away, I probably would have chosen someone closer to me.

Tomorrow I have a phone recertification appointment with welfare about the big $9/month I get in food stamps and Medicaid. Yes, it's that time of year again for me. Then, after that, I'm going to my dad's to do his shopping. And yesterday I made chili and cornbread and I'm going to take him some. He also reminded me to bring him some fudge. I come by my chocoholicism naturally. Anyway, I hope all you ladies have a good day-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hello Ladies. things are well here, just getting ready for my double shift today. Dragonette, sorry you do not feel good. Hope you get to feeling better soon. It is very cold here, 19 degrees , but no snow or ice. And the little bit of rain we had already soaked in. I never did get your PM, must have gotten lost in cyberspace when they were redoing the server for the forums. I am happy to report that my parents,whom we live with, said NO,NO,NO to my brother coming back so I will have a nice relaxing Christmas. I saw your post about Mike(tnboy) but do not know what to do. I think it's really nice that you are trying to get him some help. Hope you have a great Christmas and feel better soon. Wendy , I thought about trying Pretzel sticks but I like the mini pretzels so will use those as usual. I am going to top them with crushed peppermint and sprinkles. i haven't even started. I am off Wednesday so will start them. Wish I had some more suggestions for you but that's all I know how to do. Betty, I hear ya about the recertification. It's that time of the year for us , too. We both get Medicade and we get FS, a larger amount than you but that might be cause I have Robert. After Christmas, I think I will get a disability lawyer and get some help with that. I applied in OCT of 2005 and am waiting for a hearing. Hope you have a good visit with your dad. I got my Chocoholism from my mom but since I gave most of the other bad stuff up, I can keep my chocolate. ML, glad you had a good weekend and got new tires on your jeep. It's almost time to get tires for my escort but I will be going with used, at $20 per tire, I can get them all done. Or I might wait for my taxes and get new for the front. They will last a couple more months, I think. i will have my dad look at them for me. thanks for mentioning that. Queen, hope you are well. How did that Pot roast turn out. I hope Rico is not an alcoholic. I 've Had a couple of those and they are hard to deal with. Just guard yourself and you will be okay. Thanks for still playing Dragons with me. Anyone I have missed, hope ya'll have a great week and A very Merry Christmas. Cristy ( Edited cause i used the wrong name)

Nothing to report today. Serenity, I think you got my post twisted, I am not an alcoholic, I am a pothead. I know about AA meetings because my Father was a recovering alcoholic. I really don't think Rico has a problem like that. As I said, I was teasing him. I don't want it to develop into one. I think he drinks to relax and prolly release some stress.

My pork roast was THE BOMB!!!! I cooked it in some Arbor Mist, added some onions, peppers, garlic and it was to die for. I need to go see if some is left cause my roomie and Rico was killing it last night. I must admit I went back for seconds too... Rico stayed the night and on a night he usually doesn't come on. I was kind of impressed.

Today will be all about regrouping for me. I am a bit worn out. I still haven't heard back from Ed at the ENT. I am thinking he prolly sent off for another hearing aid. I will give him another call later..I'm beat, I'll chat with you all later...

I am congested and STILL blowing my nose. This is nuts! I finally bought some allergy medicine tonight and took some. I want to see how drowsy it makes me - or not. Maybe it will clear my nose up some. I have been talking like a nerd since the first week of October. I might have to go to the allergy doctor soon. I can't imagine what the spring might bring! "Thanks, Mom!" She has allergies to beat the band!

Serenity~ Its nice to see you post. Didn't you go to Vegas to see Cirque? I'm sorry if I have you mixed up with someone else, but if I am correct about you going there, how was the show? I was anxious to hear about it!

Drag~ Sorry to hear you're sick, stressed and cold. As for your "Aunt Flo" arriving when you're in Spain, take ibuprofen a few days before and keep it in your system round the clock so your cramps don't get bad. As much as it sucks, try to lay off of the caffeine (sodas and chocolate, coffee and tea, too) so you don't get so depressed and down. You may be able to plan ahead and not go through the usual ordeal if you give it a try. Besides, you'll be distracted by the trip itself, so maybe it won't be so bad getting your period.

I have gained weight too, and yes, my face is still somewhat drawn. Also, GF I think I know how old you are, so welcome! You can "round up" with the rest of us here, lol!

Drag, if I was reading correctly, since you're showing a detectable VL, your doctor wants to switch your meds now. And since you will be switching the doc said why not try to get pregnant now as well, meaning you could go on meds that are better to take while trying to conceive? Did I get that right? In other words, no Sustiva or anything that would harm the baby.....Are you ready for a child? Maybe let things settle down some? I recall a move and a change in jobs for your BF, right? You still have time, don't let your doctor push you when it comes to bringing another life into this world. I hope you feel better soon!

BT~ Cornbread and chili! Now THERE's some fuel for you, lol! That sounds sooooooo yummy! How is your father doing? You sounded like he was really bad off before, but lately you haven't mentioned much. Please let us know how he's doing. I know this is a rough holiday season for you, just be strong, I know you will be.

Iceman hasn't talked much about meeting the family, but I think its because he's pretty confident. He talks to all kinds of people in his line of work, so meeting some more doesn't seem to phase him. The group will be about 10 of us or so, instead of 25, which can be crazy sometimes! My aunt called last night to confirm everything, no kids will be there, just me and Ice, my parents, my grandmother, my aunt and uncle, my uncle's mother, and my uncle's sister and fiance. It should be nice!

Cristy~ I'm glad to hear that your brother won't be causing havoc at the household. Was he planning on moving back in or just visiting for the holiday? Somehow I think he wanted to move back in, but WILL he be allowed to visit for the holiday or are things that bad where he's concerned? And if you girls keep posting about chocolates and candies I am going to have to go buy more. I drool every time I read these threads now!

Queen~Sounds like you are a good cook, GF. Wish I could come to your place for dinner. Sweet of Rico to stay the night unexpectedly. How are things with him? Is he still all lovey-dovey with you or has he chilled out some? Are the two of you getting gifts for each other for Christmas? I can't believe you haven't heard back from Ed about your hearing aid! I would be calling that place morning noon and night! Call tomorrow girl to get an update, so maybe you won't have to go through the weekend and Christmas without your hearing aid. When do they expect the new one to be in?

Well, its time to go make turkey burgers for me and Cheech before this allergy med kicks in, if its going to. I may be tipping over later, not sure.

CAMILLE WE NEED AN UPDATE!!! LOL

Everyone stay safe and warm tonight, wherever you are, and say a prayer for tnboy. I need to go read Drag's thread on the situation and get caught up.

Well, not to much to report around here. I went out with the Latin Lover the other day and we had a good time. It was a little weird at first but then things smoothed out. He spent the night, but nothing happend. That is OK too. Its just good to be friends with him because we do have fun when we hang out. I have been talking to this guy again that I met on this site two years ago. I kind of blew him off at that time and he left me alone for a while and since Thanksgiving he has been talking to me. At first he was calling me and texting me all day telling me how great I am and that he has not been able to stop thinking about me so that was nice and I was eating it up. Now things have calmed down and we were suppose to go out last Saturday night but he said he had to work. We are suppose to go out this weekend, we will see if it really happens. He said that he has just been busy with work and for me not to run away, and things will calm down with him at work. At this point if he does not come through this weekend I am saying audios to him. I hope that everyone is doing well and looking forward to the holidays. I will be looking forward to posting more since I will be on vacation till January 2nd. Till then don't eat to much chocolate, god knows I have been eating enough for all of us.

Damn Cindy, those allergies must really be kicking your ass.. My roomie has been complaining about hers too and last night my nose was dry as a desert along with a sore throat. I wonder if the heat is doing it to me. I did call Ed back up and he returned my call. He said he had left a message but it must've been on the house phone which I can't use since I can't hold it up to my ear. Anyhoo, he says that my hearing aid can't be fixed that I am going to need a new one... He goes on to tell me that the ENT there does accept my insurance for some reason but asked for their number so he could explain the situation to them. Hopefully he says that I can go somewhere else to get a new one. Just great, these are the people who have been dealing with me since I lost my hearing. I should've asked him do I need to change everything like getting my ears cleaned out etc now or is it just about servicing my hearing aid needs. He said he would get back to me....

Shortly after Ed, I get a call from my case manager from my ASO. We had been discussing Medicare Part D coverage for my meds and stuff. She tried to tell me that I had coverage through one company after I had told her that I had just started coverage with someone else. She tried to tell me it was different but then she calls today and tells me that I am smarter than her.....I would admit and say yes to most things because she hasn't really been much help to me as my case manager. I am usually telling her things instead of the other way around. I really miss my old case manager, he really was on point with things. It seems for the most part the only thing she is good at is giving me medical releases to sign....

About Rico since you asked Cindy.... He has been more lovey dovey, not sure what that is all about. Maybe because I was just giving off the vibe that I don't give a fuck anymore, come service me.... I know that sounds bad but hey, he made it this way. The saga continues with the son----once again he is not allowed to see his son but now this is coming from his ex's sister. I do try to stay out of it but when he told me that, I had to say something. I told him that I didn't see how the sister could dictate anything since she was not the one he laid down with and made the boy. It's really crazy to me. He has a hearing sometime in January. I told him he should make this known at the hearing besides the hateful vms that the ex sends when he can't see his son. It was snowing like crazy over the weekend and the fam has cars, no one would bring his son to him, he literally had to ride his bike in that mess. And when it is bad like that and he calls to say he can't make it, they give him hell. The daughter's(which isn't his)father doesn't even come to see her and they don't even make a fuss. The only time that deadbeat shows up is when the daughter wants to see him and they go pick him up. What kind of shit is that?! Pennsylvania really sucks when it comes to child support issues or whatever.

I was making my sandwich for lunch tomorrow and I couldn't find the container of turkey in the fridge. Hmmmm. That was OK since I had just bought two new packs tonight at the grocery. I make my sandwich, go to open a drawer and get a ziploc bag out. There is my container of turkey in the top drawer from last night when I was packing my lunch!

DOH! Cam, it must be love, lol! Let's "talk turkey!"

Yes, of COURSE I threw the "found" container in the trash as I giggled to myself and thought of this thread!

Damn Cindy, what next? Car keys will be in the fridge? I'm not hating, it's good to see you and Camille in love. I am good with lust right now..... Hey, it's been 2 years, ok!!!! Maybe love will come later on down the line and not necessarily with Rico. If it was through him, he'd have to show me a helluva a lot to believe it...

Funny thing though, my son came to visit me today. I have told him about Rico. He teases me about him, calling him my bf which I whole heartedly deny!!!! I keep saying he is just a friend but I think it's cute that my son teases me... My son seems to think I am hiding Rico from him. My son always seems to show up hours after Rico has left which I think is hilarious. He then goes on to say how it isn't right that I am having sex...Now not because I'm poz, he knows I keep condoms but because I am old.....ROFLMAO..Nonetheless, it was good to see him and hear about his adventures.

I am off to surf the other side of the forums and then play a little bit of WoW. I'll chat you ladies later....

Drag Ė hope you feel better soon. The recipes I use are ones Iíve read online or in books. I sometimes alter them but none of them are ones Iíve made up all by myself. I have a pretty good knack for baking. I donít do it often though. Looking at recipes helps give me ideas. Itís a fun thing to do on occasion. Iím sure yours where good ones. Sucks that your post crashed.

Bettytacy Ė I use Itunes to burn my cdís. Iím not sure how other people do it. If you have car insurance you might want to check if they do renters insurance too. Sometimes you can get discounts for holding more than one policy with the same company. Sounds like a pain in the ass for him to like to meet his new clients and making you go to where he is.

I baked my ass off today. My legs are tired from standing. I tried a new recipe for a citrus crackle cookie. They came out tasting good but I think they are more like cookie sized cakes. The insides are cake like. I also made something called puppy chow. It is peanut butter and chocolate chips melted together mixed with rice chex then coated with confectioners sugar. I thought it looked boring so I added MnMís. Then started on the chocolate chip with walnuts cookies. I still have a bunch of dough in the fridge. Iíll finish them tomorrow. LOL then I made spaghetti for dinner.

feeling a bit better - hopefully the freezing cold outside wont make me sick again. i will go to work, late as usual, but i have a dental hygenist appt. great, just love all the digging... our apartment is not heated well, and it's a mess right now b/c i do everything in one room. the last winters were mild but this one will be harsh. i cant even shower at home anymore, too cold, so i do it at the gym. since i don't work out every day, you do the math

I guess I was unclear about the pregnancy - I have already switched, I was detectable for something like 6 times in a row but not high enough for the resistance test. when he switched me, the doctr put me on meds that he considers temporary, b/c he knew we want to get pregnant, there didnt seem to be a point to switch and switch again for the pregnancy a couple months later (in the optimal scenario, that i wouldve concieved right away). now that we are having doubts, the doctor was like "get on with it". not b/c of wanting to switch me so much, but b/c i think they have a sieze the day philosphy here. i remeber when I had 200 cd4 and was a few months post diagnosis, i told him i wanted to go to thailand over the holidays and he was like yeah, sure. then i went and got the vaccinations at the public health clinic, and i ask the nurse if they vaccinate a lof of pozzies. and she said they just had one, but now he is going to die , but she said it smiling, and she was like "travel while you can". But i didnt, i chickened out. maybe i will use AMG in mexico as this kind of springboard into backpacking again, but who knows, might be pregnant by then. or anything could happen. if there is one thing that characterizes my life in general and esp my life as a poz its this instability.

wow, Cindy, talk about meeting the folks. And the folks of the folks... I feel like I will be meeting a whole village in spain, but not be able to communicate with them... smile and be pretty - both seem to be getting much harder. i wish i was as cool as Ice about this. My BF is like that - no social anxiety whatsoever.

Wendy, what a baking frenzy!

Queen, tell Rico I feel his pain, come rain, hail or snow (and plenty of wind) I'm on a bike. But its nowhere near as cold here.

I must run, just realized I have 20 minutes to miss my appt.

Hugs to all, and Camille - please spill!

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Cristy, whew! I am so glad you won't have to uproot yourself and Robert, especially at the holidays since your parents told your brother "no." What a relief that is.

Cin, is it allergies? Maybe you should see an allergist. That might give you some relief. Hey, don't feel embarassed about overlooking that old turkey in your fridge. I'm sure when I used to "be in love"(way back when) I did stuff like that. How is your job coming? I love turkey burgers! I have some in my freezer. My dad is just being my dad. He's not doing well, but he's hanging tough. When I talked to him last night, he said he went out to get the oil changed in his car. He doesn't carry his portable oxygen with him when he goes out because he likes to smoke in his car. He was winded when we talked, but I'm going over there today.

Queen, hey, you don't have to explain yourself where Rico is concerned. You're more tolerant than I am, also, because I probably would have kicked him to the curb by now, especially if he was trying to get back with his ex. Oh, I forgot, he's "servicing" you. That's funny your son thinks you're too old to have sex. I'm 42 though, and I hardly ever get horny. Only once a month, right before my period. *starts humming "Let's talk about sex by salt n peppa* It really sounds like a big hassle trying to get your hearing aid taken care of. I hope you can get another one without so much trouble. I wonder if your case manager at your ASO is new. Mine is, but at least she's got the smarts to ask questions from someone who knows what they're doing. Hang in there girl! Oh, my nose is always dry this time of year also, I guess from the dry air.

Drag, I can't imagine peddling a bike in the rain, sleet or snow! Damn girl, you should've been a mailperson! So it's really cold in your apartment? I couldn't handle that. I've got to have heat. I just know everything will be groovy once you're actually in Spain. Just try to relax. Will you have access to a computer while you're there?

Sun, I am anxiously waiting to hear if you go out with this guy or not this weekend. Maybe another one of us will get bit by the luvbug.

Wendy, I've been using Napster, but I hear Itunes is really good. I'm sure if I hit "burn CD" on Napster's website it would tell me how to do it. I just need to buy some blank CDs or DVRs to record the songs with.

Anyway, yes, today is my recertification for the big $9/month I get on FS and (more importantly) Medicaid. I need that Medicaid because it pays for the Medicare premiums and when I have it, I get extra help for my Medicare Part D coverage with the meds. Other than that, I have a spend-down of like $139/month before the Medicaid will kick in to cover anything else. This guy I know said when he lived in Florida, they didn't have spend-downs with their Medicaid. I wonder if other states have spend-downs like we here in Indiana do.

Other than that, just going to see my dad to do his shopping and take him some chili, cornbread and fudge. I've not been taking really good care of my diabetes lately with all the sweets around. I told my doctor I would do better, after the holidays. Still waiting on the phenotype to get back so my doc knows which HIV meds to prescribe next. I hope all you ladies have a good day-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Ive been to the dental hygenist, and it was ok, got a very experienced one, and really cool about HIV. she told me she will try to find me another dentist instead of that prick that i go to. apprently my teeth are not in good shap,e they are getting too thin, but everytime i asked him about it, it's like No no, everything's fine. b/c he doesn't want to do work on a poz person. idiot.

Cristy, I wrote you already I am so glad for you too about him not showing up, and let's hope he never shows up!

Betty, the more I read here about the health system in the US, the more confusing it gets. I cant make heads or tails on it. You know what it reminds me of the John Grisham book (forgot which) about the huge lawsuit against this insurance giant. How they go door to door and sell people premiums that are so sneakily phrased that when something happens, they are never insured for it. Making healthcare a private business - which has started here in Holland 2 years ago, although its still controlled b/c everyone must be covered, but they are already finding ways to get out of things and manipulate the clients and the doctors - is like trusting healthcare to a nest of snakes.

Wendy, here is the link, though probably too late for you. You can click on the different recipes to go into them. http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/christmas/essentials_kids.shtml I just sawt on TV on the Nigella Lawson show. Yeah I don't hate her anymore. I decided I loathe Jamie Oliver (dont know if you guys know who he is) far too much to bother about hating another TV chef, after I heard him say "I told Tony" [British PM Tony Blair, with whom he is persumably on a first name basis]. I'd make an exception for Gordon Ramsey, I still hate him with a vengence. Does anyone know who I'm talking about here anyway? Or should I get a life?

Sun, hope the weekend will be good. You deserve a guy just for you.

Betty, you're a great daughter bringing your dad all these treats. OMG OMG, I dont know what I will do with my parents. This fills me with dread and panic everytime I think of it.

I gotta work - it's almost 14.00 and I skipped work yesterday and I will again tomorrow. Bloody hell

Have a great day everyone

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

tendai

Back from my leave now. Which was ok, spent almost the entire time glued to the TV.The few times that i ventured into town i managed to get myself soaked in the rain, i can only thank God i didnt catch my death of cold coz once i ended up wading home barefoot after my sandal broke and my new hair got ruined.

Drag - im glad u got a nice hygienist. that other dentist really is a stupid idiot. hopefully u'll get a great one soon. but i dont know how u can stand the cold there. i would honest to God DIE if i lived in such cold temperatures. even here i'm miserable if the temperature get below 10 degrees which isnt often thank God. And i'm so excited for you about Spain and meeting the family and all. I bet u'll have a wonderful time dont worry so much. stinky

Queen - you go on girl. do whats best for Queen.

Sun - good to hear about LL. U watch out now, that cupid fellow can be a sneaky bastard, never know when he's gonna strike....

Betty now i feel bad coz i havent seen my dad in since last christmas. i really should call him. i mean sure he's evil sometimes but hes still my dad and u know..I mean its not like we're estranged or anything though he does disown a child about every year. i dont know. anyway its great what u do for your dad. i wish i could do that, but its complicated. besides he lives in another town.

nothing much is happening on my side. just been getting these weird phone calls. well theyre not exactly weird but i dont know this guy and he says he knows me from around and i have no idea who he is or how he got my number. he wont tell me. he says he wants to see me. i dont know. maybe he got my number from the notice i put on the door when we closed these past two weeks. its strange. of course i'm not getting my hopes up coz he really doesnt know about me, he'll be asking questions and all so it cant be someone i know from before whos trying to get back into my life. or its just someone with too much airtime in his phone and too much time on his hands

NY- CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BABY!!!!

everyone else reading hie and i hope y'all have a great day. im going home as soon as this damn rain stops.as my brother would say "later zater people zeeple"

Hey ladies..How is everyone..i left a post here Monday about all of your comments at least i thought i did anyways..but i guess i didnt click post??..i dunno...Thanks everyone for your responses..i got some different ones but i think ill figure it out. I think ..no i know im a lil selfish when it comes to my man..just plain and simple and i never had to deal with baby momma drama before so its like new and annoying all in one. When i get annoyed i tend to say f it all together..but im trying to be patient and understanding and all dat other stuff im supposed to be....yeah wateva,,just wanna get thru xmas and make my kids happy..at least he is helping out with that.. ...Anyways...CONGRATS!! to Cam..that disclosure thing is hard as hell but im sooo happy it worked out well for you and i wish u and him the very best!!!!Queen: i say get yours ma... To all doing all that damn baking...my address is ...sike but damn i can cook my ass off but i cant make a cake for shit...I need HELLLPPP..lol i tried to make a sweet potato pie last year...it was a freaking mess!!!!..all my cakes come out like lean wit it rock wit it...i guess i really dont have time for trial n error right now but i really want to learn how to bake..it seems simple enuff...but oh well...send me some cyber fudge or somthin..Do you all of u gals primary docs and others know ur status??..i didnt tell my primary doc..or my dentist or my eye doctors..i dont tell anyone unless i need a script then ill call my id and make sure it doesnt affect my coctail..or i get all my scripts from my id...my primary didnt even know and i had a breast reduction last year...