Remember Chad? Claire’s obsessive boyfriend? Well, he is living in his own world, because he seems to think that high school magazine Verve Girl is the equivalent of Playboy, and he thinks Claire wanting to be on the cover makes her a “disgusting human being.” I mean, seriously, this episode is completely ludicrous–Carina even speculates that Gregory has a sugar daddy, and seems to be really jealous of Gregory’s Hermes cuffs. Everyone is so negative, and I am watching this on Valentine’s Day.

So, Chad breaks up with Claire and asks her to “go f**k [herself].” And Carina sends what she describes as a Gossip Girl-style text to spread the rumour that Gregory Gorgeous is letting an older man pay for his extravagances (like head scarves and labradoodles). And then it happens: on the not-so-’70s, Reference library-adjacent strip of Yonge Street, closet case Jay (who is chewing gum the whole time, because oral hygiene), after his first public date with Greggy, pops a question. He gets on one knee in front of Yonge Market, a convenience store, and tells Greg that he’s serious about their relationship. While Gregory observes this as a proposal, there is actually no real proposal. It could very well just be Jay getting down on one knee to give Gregory a promise ring (that is encrusted in the broken rattles of yesterday’s children). It would certainly explain why Jay isn’t taking this very seriously and is chewing gum the entire time.

And this should be the happiest day of Greg’s life, but the moment will be taken away from him. Carina sends her text far and wide, and somehow manages to send it to Patrick (the show’s hot guy) while he’s out for dinner with Arta. She even manages to block her number via text, which is something I didn’t even know you could do. Patrick and Arta put on their possibly gay detective hats and deduce that Rachel must be spreading these rumours. What I want to talk about is how bad these people are at being friends–this is what they are concerning themselves with while Claire is somewhere crying into her rat’s nest of a hairdo? I guess no one is allowed to ever be truly happy on The Avenue, unless of course the light of the Yonge Market sign reflects in your partner’s eyes while you make the move to declare your love. It just all really came together, Jay.

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Kevin Naulls is a Toronto-based writer and former editor of The Goods and The Hype at Torontolife.com. Follow him on Twitter @kevinjn.