(I am in the fitting rooms. An older customer is waiting for his grand-daughter to try on some clothes.)

Customer: “Been working long?”

Me: “No, I only do eight hours a week because of college.”

Customer: “Huh. Eight hours! I used to go to college six hours a day, and then work for 48 hours! Kids these days are lazy.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “And you know what wage I was on! £1! That’s right. You kids have your ‘minimum wage’ and your ‘rights.’ I got £1 for 48 hours and some weeks, I wouldn’t even get paid if I didn’t do my job well!”

Me: “Oh…”

Customer: “So, going anywhere nice this summer?”

Me: “I’m going to Spain in July.”

Customer: “You know some people go on holiday and just go from the hotel to the beach and back again. That’s not a holiday! You should be out exploring! Is that what you do?”

Me: “Not usually. Usually I go looking at castles and other historical places. But this time I’m going with friends, sort of a last holiday before we all separate for University. So we’ll mostly be on the beach.”

Customer: “LAZY! THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE! ALL YOU DO IS STAND HERE IN THE FITTING ROOM, GABBING OFF, AND THEN YOU GO ON TONS OF HOLIDAYS A YEAR AND LIE ON BEACHES! SOME OF US WORK FOR A LIVING! IF YOU GOT UP OFF YOUíRE A*** AND GOT A JOB, YOU’D SEE YOU CAN’T JUST SIT AROUND ALL DAY!”

(I am breastfeeding my three-month-old baby quietly in a corner of a medieval festival. I am a participant. In front of me is a display of medieval stuff that I make. A tourist is passing by, and sniffs.)

Tourist: “Like they did that in the middle ages!”

Me: “Do you mean the breastfeeding? Of course they did; how else would they feed their baby?”

Tourist: “If you knew a bit about history, you would know that they hired other women to feed the baby.”

Me: “It is true that high-born ladies hired nurse maids to feed their baby and look after them, but how do you think these hired women fed the baby?”

(I am currently serving a couple. We are the first restaurant that tourists heading west come to after passing through the largest rock slide in Canadian history.)

Man: “That rock slide thing was incredible. Do you know anything about it?”

Me: “Actually, yes I know quite a bit. The mountain fell one morning in 1903; 82 million tonnes of rock fell on the sleeping mining town below and killed almost 90 people. The town remains buried. There is an interpretive center where you can learn more if you would like.”

Woman: “That’s okay dear; I do have one question though.”

Me: “Sure, if I know the answer I would be happy to tell you something about the area.”

Woman: “How did they make the rocks jump and miss the highway?”

Me: “Um… well they didn’t. The slide happened in 1903. They put the highway in after, ma’am.”

Woman: “Well I don’t understand; how did they do that?”

(Thankfully at this point, I have to go and deal with some other customers. I can still hear her asking her husband as they leave, to explain it one more time.)