I think it is a learned behavior, while the learning curves differ greatly between people, to the point where one person could said to be doing it naturally, where for another it might be quite unnatural.

I know plenty of people that flirt with everything that moves, and don't even realize it.

If you're interested in a person and are striking conversation with them, that is flirting. If you're not conscious of being interested in a person, then you're not really interested in them. Therefore I think flirting is by definition a conscious act.

Ive flirted accidentally before. I dont even know Im doing it until someone says something to me. Ive done it in front of my boyfriend accidentally. Luckily hes a pretty forgiving guy, but I seem to just slip into that mode unconsciously if someone begins to flirt with me.

If you're interested in a person and are striking conversation with them, that is flirting. If you're not conscious of being interested in a person, then you're not really interested in them. Therefore I think flirting is by definition a conscious act.

On the contrary, many shy people will purposely aviod someone they like. Although it could be a defense mechanism they've built to avoid acting like a fool.

Ive flirted accidentally before. I dont even know Im doing it until someone says something to me. Ive done it in front of my boyfriend accidentally. Luckily hes a pretty forgiving guy, but I seem to just slip into that mode unconsciously if someone begins to flirt with me.

I guess I just feel its not very considerate. He never said anything to me, but a good friend who was there later told me that he was shocked and seemed anxious about it. Im a pretty independent kind of girl, Im the type to do exactly what you tell me not to just because I can. My BF knows better than to try to tell me not to behave in a certain way, so I can imagine him trying to decide how best to deal with the situation. Hes never mentioned it to me, however knowing it hurts his feelings makes me want to avoid that situation in the future. I call him my boyfriend but we have been together for 4 years and have known eachother as long as I can remember. Were pretty much a sure thing and both consider the relationship to be a forever one. I would be uncomfortable watching him flirt with other girls, I cant expect him to take it any easier than I would.

Maybe I have mistaken what you said with my 'on the contrary statement'. However, i don't agree with your conclusion that flirting is by definition a conscious act. You could be concious of the fact that you like someone but that is entirely in your own head. How you act in front of them can be an entirely a different thing. Flirting is all about how you act in front of the person.