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MRS. YANOFSKY - JUNE 2016School principal, menaheles

MRS. FRIEDMAN STEFANSKY - JUNE 2016PRINCIPAL, General studies

Two weeks ago, we had the pleasure of graduating a remarkable senior class, noteworthy for their refinement, maturity, and firm commitment to Yiddishkeit. As I gazed at their ardent faces, I was understandably very moved. I was very heavily invested in their chinuch. I enjoyed many conversations, chaburos, and interactions with them and observed them in their meteoric growth. I shared in their moments of earned pride and took pride as they delayed gratification to reach a goal. On theirpart, they absorbed lessons of halacha, hashkafa, and Jewish scholarship and most importantlythey came to realize how much all of their beloved teachers and mechanchoscare about each and every one of them. I honestly believe that they now are awarethat I was not being curmudgeonly when I was forced to say no at times, it was for thebenefit of their ultimate chinuch. Certainly that epiphany will strike in future years. (Parents take heart, in future years yournow frustrated children will recount with pride your imposed discipline as a badge of love and concern.)

At the graduation, I recounted a fascinating tale in connection with the Para Aduma, about a cow whose owner, a shomerTorah umitzvos, fell upon hard times. He was sold to a non-Jew who insisted that he work on Shabbos. Much as the haplessfarmer coaxed and prodded, the cow wouldn’t budge. As a last resort, he enlisted the aid of the former master who cameto the farm and whispered something in his bovine ear. Immediately, the cow began to plow energetically. Amazed, thenon-Jew said to himself, if a cow who doesn’t speak and doesn’t have intelligence recognizes its master- ידע שור קונהו -thensurely I who G-d created in His image and has intelligence, how could I not recognize him? He converted and became anAmorah-Rav Yochanan ben Torsah (torsah is a cow in Aramaic). Even a cow can have a dramatic and lasting effect on people.We can never know who is going to stir someone to move closer to Torah and Mitzvos.

This year we had the privilege of hosting Prof. Aron Twersky. Prof. Twersky is not only a preeminent authority in the areasof products and liability and tort law who was appointed as a special master in the Federal 9/11 cases, but is also a chassidisheyid. He told our girls-when you go out into the world, remember who your are and what you represent. Work harderthan anyone else in the office. Be refined, dignified, and paragons of integrity. It is my hope and dream that this messagecontinue to reverberate throughout the corridor of their lives.As for the rest of our beloved student body, this message is particularly relevant for all of them during the summer months.When I asked our esteemed Rebbetzin Twersky if she had a message for our students, she wistfully said “tell them that duringthe summer, their limudim are l’shem shamayim.” With her boundless ahavas Torah, she could not endure the thought of astagnant summer devoid of learning. The Rambam in Hilchos Yesodei Hatorah states that the way one achieves shaves Hashemis by looking at the grandeur of nature and the design in the universe, which brings love of Hashem to the sensitive heart.Hopefully as our students commune with nature, they go forth, armed with thousands of lessons to apply. Certainly theyare ambassadors for their parents, the school, the communities they hail from, and for the Bais Yaakov movement at large.I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of their teachers, Rabbanim and mechanchos who have imparted a chinchthat will enable our students to join the ranks of future nashim b’yisrael. This past year, our teachers outdid themselves withmasterful lessons and presentations. יישר כחכם and we look forward בע”ה to שנה תשע”ז!

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What a beautiful time the end of the school year is -- a juncture that causes us tostop and reflect. Culminating with final exams and the closing assembly, the endof the school year is special in that it invites us to unwind and realize how muchwe have accomplished. It is so difficult, if not impossible, to see our growth whilewe are growing.

​At our graduation last week, I encouraged our graduates to stop and consider howmuch they have taken from their parents and teachers over the years. I remindedthem that for four years they have taken from us --- our direction, our kindness,our patience, our understanding, our knowledge, our spirit, our organization, ourmentorship and friendship and overall guidance. And how much they have takenfrom you, their parents -- from your sleepless nights, tear-filled prayers, early morning rises, money and worry, andfrom the unstoppable love in your hearts.

At the same time, I shared with our graduates that we were very happy to give to them because in giving, we developa true sense of self. We discover that the only thing we really ever “have” is what we have given away. Using toughlove, I asked our graduates to consider what their pay-back plan is. Living in such me-centered times, our girls mustbe stopped to recognize how much they take and receive and what true giving is really all about.

As we reflect on the school year and our accomplishments, how valuable it would be for us to take stock on what wehave received to propel us in our growth in this shared endeavor. All of us, on every level, owe it to ourselves. Let’sremind our girls that generosity and the expression of appreciation can take many forms: forgiveness, encouragement,collaboration, connection, giving away the creditfor success, giving a powerful voice to the powerless,a patient warm word, a listening ear, a sense of humor,an honest compliment, and, yes, sometimes givingmoney and resources with no need for applauseor recognition. Let’s encourage them to express theirappreciation in written and verbal words. It’s a skill thatwill serve them well as they move forward to cultivateand nurture their most precious relationships. Sharingkind words only makes us kinder.

Equally important is for us to help our girls recognizehow much they have taken from themselves. In theireffort, time, patience and commitment, they have taken from themselves while investing in themselves. We must helpthem recognize that they “have” what they have given away. It is not their material grades, but their spiritual stamina that they ultimately possess at the end of this school year. And it is from this strength that they will be energized furtheras they start their next academic year in the Fall. As we lead them to realize how much they have received fromtheir parents and teachers, let’s also remind them to see how much they owe it to express that kindness to themselves.

​Thank you to the General Studies faculty who have once again created an unparalleled year of learning and growth.Warmest wishes to all of you for a most delightful summer!​

MRS. YANOFSKY - March 2016SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, MENAHELES

MRS. FRIEDMAN STEFANSKY ​- March 2016PRINCIPAL, GENERAL STUDIES

Around this time of year I begin evaluating the progress our students have made overthe course of the school year. Certain events and exposures over the past two weekshave shed light for me and I would like to use this forum to share them with you.

​Our students have been privy to learn halachos and inyanim pertaining to Pesach,which as Rav Wolbe in his classic sefer, Alei Shur, states, enable us to “build ourselves”for the redemption. In the spirit of a chag of inquiry and response, indulge yourselvesand ask them to share.

At the same time, germinating within, is the inspiration for the geulah. This is termedזריעה, planting, by Rav Wolbe. This in fact mirrors the educational experience at MHS. Our students are exposed to ourserious, in-depth curriculum. Sources are culled, meforshim are compared and contrasted, yedios and hashkafos are developedand middos are fine honed through repeated lessons, discussion and other modalities. Beyond that, though, thereis another component that is absolutely breathtaking. It is the זריעה, the seeds planted, that are starting to take root andflourish. Recently, our students were privileged to be addressed by Prof. Aron Twerski, a law professor, who is a preeminentauthority in the area of products liability and tort law. Prof. Twerski called me to relate how impressed he was by the caliberof our students. While citing their intelligent insight and sophisticated articulation, as a product of their excellent education,it was their commitment to yiddishkeit and Torah and mitzvos that impressed him most. He expressed his confidencethat they would build Jewish homes לשםולתפארת.

Our alumnae as well are a source of great pride. At a recent alumni gathering, shadchanim had the pleasure of meetingwith them. They subsequently reported that they are extremely refined and dignified and have the Torah ideals that ourRabbanim and Mechanchos labor tirelessly to impart.

The sum total of all of the lessons that are delivered day in and day out are yielding gratifying results. In the spirit of Pesach, I would like to employ the model of בןחכםfor our students. At MHS our students, “the proverbialwise son”, ask probing questions concerning limud Torah and the observance of mitzvos. They are provided with specificand detailed information. Ultimately, however, it will be their eschewing the trappings of modernity and embracing a lifeof Torah values that will help bring the geulah shalaima.

But perhaps the secret to our success can be gleaned from an unexpected quarter, the wicked son, the בןרשע. Even the worstsinner can repent as long as he retains a modicum of respect for his parents and teachers. If however, he descends to the levelof ridicule, all is lost. Cynical ridicule can destroy the efficacy of even the most sincere attempts to bring home the truth. Theבןרשעaudaciously challenges “of what purpose is this work?” The answer is simply בעבורזה- because of this, our attitudesof respect and acceptance of the authority of Moshe and our elders were we redeemed from Mitzrayim (Ksav Sofer).

​Our students, indeed our entire school, exude a reverence and appreciation for our rabbonim, mechanchos, and teachersand the lessons they lovingly impart. This attitude begins with the home, with parents that foster this respectful attitudeand who support the hashkafos of the school and those that impart them. Together, we build and plant, with a prayer onour lips and a song of thanksgiving in our hearts,מאתה’היתהזאתהיאנפלאתבעינינו.

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“So, after interviewing your subject,” asked one of our juniors, “Do you keep the biases you’ve cultivated out of your article?”

I smiled, knowing how entrenched they are with interviewing for their English class Feature Story projects, and what a struggle it is for them to get a great story and then tell a great story without any great offense to anyone. I also smiled sadly, noting how attuned they’ve already become to being “politically correct” and how much more liberated they were as children, free to express their genuine thoughts without concern.

“Absolutely not!” replied Emma Brocks, Editor of The Guardian, contributor to The New York Times and acclaimed author. “You want to practice responsible journalism versus dramatic sensationalism. But writing is all about subjectivity. And you’re getting paid for your bias, for your impression of this person. You must realize that without your opinion, there is no story. ”

We sat riveted by Emma, who told us about how she became a journalist, some of the great interview experiences she enjoys, and some of the routine tips she uses to craft the right questions to elicit the true story. “Find a side angle to your ‘big’ questions so you don’t overwhelm, intimidate, or threaten to invade their personal comfort zone,” advised Emma. Asking your grandmother to describe a favorite room in her childhood home may reveal a beautiful memory. It may be more comfortable for her to discuss one distinct room rather than her whole lost town. The art of asking is a skill whose refinement unlocks our ability to unravel our past, consider our future, and appreciate the present.

As we prepare for our Seder night, let’s encourage our girls to ask the right questions in the right way both of their grandparents and also of their guests. Everyone has experienced some personal story of sacrifice and strength. Let’s not allow our girls to shy away from asking because they are too worried to offend — let’s help them practice how to ask with compassion, respect, and interest. Indeed, isn’t the Question the hallmark of our history, the heart and soul of our existence as a Nation?

How blessed our students are to have the skills with which to access our stories and the ability to share them. And, moreover, how blessed we are to have lived the most exceptional story of all. May the chag inspire the telling and retelling of our cherished and exalted stories — yes, perhaps to be preserved by our girls in print for posterity.

​Thank you to Ms. Dzegar for facilitating Ms. Brock’s visit and to all our General Studies teachers for inspiring us daily. Have a gut yom tov!​

MRS. YANOFSKY - January 2016SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, MENAHELES

MRS. FRIEDMAN STEFANSKY - January 2016PRINCIPAL, GENERAL STUDIES

​The theme of our Shabbaton this year was וטהר לבנולעבדך באמת. Truth is something we grapple with every day of our lives. The theme touched an exposed nerve in all those present, faculty and students alike. Through various modalities of speakers, workshops, divrei Torah, and through media of art and dance, the mechanics of honesty were discussed and threshed out. Contemporary issues, such as honest test taking, integrity in the workplace and technology abuse including plagiarism and pilfering intellectual property, were mulled over and carefully contemplated.

In times gone by, there were people who knew the meaning of honesty. They were superbly sensitized to the truth and could not tolerate anything that smacked of falsehood. Today, lying has become endemic in society. Statistics indicate that forty percent of content on resumes are phony. Twenty five percent of scientists question the validity of reports in scientific research papers. There was a time when a Jew’s word was sacrosanct; his handshake sufficiently binding. Before yetzias mitzrayim, Bnei Yisroel went to their neighbors to request items they would need for their journey into the wilderness. When the Egyptians denied possession of the requested items, Bnei Yisroel furnished lists compiled during makas choshech in which they noted exactly what the Egyptians owned and where it was located. We know from recent history that when a city suffers a blackout, looters run rampant stealing merchandise from stores. This level of honesty and ethical standard made a profound impression upon the Egyptians. The Torah tells us that they “found favor in the eyes of the Egyptians.” After 210 years of contempt and degradation, they finally earned the Egyptians’ respect and admiration because they conducted themselves honestly and ethically.

​Our beloved talmidos of MHS are goal oriented, focused and destined for greatness. They stand poised on the threshold of life– a heady and exhilarating time. They will forge relationships, build homes of Torah v’avodah and pursue various professions. They will hopefully lead lives with integrity that reflect the Divine seal – truth. As imahos b’Yisroel they will inculcate in the next generation a deep and abiding appreciation for truth and integrity. They will hopefully fulfill their respective mandates in the workplace, never willfully squandering time. Their ethical standards will undoubtedly make a profound impression upon their co-workers.

In a deeper sense, it is our hope and dream that they live life with emes, with values that are consistent with Hashem and His Toras emes. We yearn for the day when we will earn the admiration and respect of the nations, ויתן חןהעם ביד מצרים and the advent of Moshiach and redemption, במהרה בימינו אמן .

A special thank you to rabbanim, mechanchos, and teachers who joined our students on the Shabbaton and who inspire them to greatness every day of the school year.

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​“Everybody is a genius,” maintained Einstein, “but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” How true, and yes, how genius! And as we gathered two weeks ago in The Little Flower Theater to watch our students perform in our WE performance, we reinforced for ourselves that when we judge our strengths based on the natural abilities we each possess and not by some formidable standard, we have great reason to share and shine.

Unlike traditional performances, where tryouts are held for the greatest performer, this performance is curriculum-based and every single student performed based on what she has learned at MHS since September. Who knew that every single ninth and tenth grader possesses rhythm and grace until those charming tap and theater dances unfolded? Who knew that there was so much exceptional artistic talent in the school until those breathtaking, mind-blowing visuals filled the room reflecting Studio Art, Modern Art, Interior Design and Advanced Computer Graphics? Who knew that our girls can express themselves in Spanish, Mandarin, and American Sign Language? And who knew that the pianists who regaled us with “Somewhere over the Rainbow” never touched a piano before this past fall?

How transforming it was to revisit our childhood days by traveling down the yellow brick road with Dorothy as she, too, discovered her own voice and the power it gave her. Humanity has always created metrics by which they judge everything from what’s normal to who’s got talent, and as a result, so many fall short. The artist’s club should not be allowed to relegate so many of us to the purveyor position. But who holds that power over us, and why do we let? What a myth it is that talent is so scarce — we all have art within us! — if only we would access our courage, then we would cultivate and cultivate and cultivate. How liberating art is as it invites us to unlock ourselves and express in vibrant and variegated languages as opposed to through our unidimensional, often inhibited form.

​Many thanks to our team of exceptionally gifted teachers for making the spot somewhere over the rainbow right here in our very own classrooms and for nurturing our students as fish in water, not as fish on trees. Enjoy the vacation break!

MRS. YANOFSKY - November 2015SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, MENAHELES

MRS. FRIEDMAN STEFANSKY ​- November 2015PRINCIPAL, GENERAL STUDIES

​Annually, the end of first semester heralds the yom tov of Chanukah, one of illumination in a world of darkness and obscurity. Etymologically speaking, Chanukah is from the root of chinuch, the sacred task and mission for which school and home partner. At the core of the chinuch our daughters receive at MHS, is the appreciation and understanding of a Torah-true existence against the backdrop of a decadent world. This can sometimes be a daunting proposition. As a maggid shiur in the famous Kol Torah Yeshiva, Rav Benzion Bordianski shlita, succinctly stated at a recent convention, it is not that we are influenced by society, rather, we are part of society. We face the challenge of a world that places egoism, self gratification and honor as its goals. The main measure of value is the external, materialistic world, bereft of any intrinsic and spiritual element. What can we do in the face of such warped values?

Rav Dessler zt”l in emphasizing the need for making our home into an island, once described a scenario in which a sane man had to spent some time in a place inhabited by lunatics. While strolling down the street, he encountered someone who introduced himself as William the conquerer. Then he met “Shakespeare” amd subsequently Florence Nightingale. The sane man was perplexed, what should his modus operandi for survival be, in this hotbed of lunacy. He soon hit upon a solution. He would pretend to be Julius Ceaser! Why, asserts Rav Dessler provocatively, do we feel the need to speak the language of lunatics by conforming to the society around us?

Let us partner together in creating an oasis of Torah-true living in a dissolute world. This requires focus and awareness as we assure that the cultural trappings of our daughter’s existence are in keeping with the glorious tenets of the Torah.

Parents today must candidly ask themselves, what are our daughters exposed to as a result of technology? Does that exposure include titillating images or even banal superficialities which strip our daughters of depth and dimension? Let us thoughtfully and deliberately stop and consider. Our lives are often frenetic and habitual. Chinuch requires focus and self-awareness. How do our daughters spend their free time on Motzei Shabbos or vacation days? Did we give them clear parameters that reflect our value system? Do they know with certain clarity what our values are? I am proud to partner with parents who care deeply. Often parents will call me to inquire about the appropriateness of a certain venue for a birthday party or other special event. These calls are a clear indication that they are focused and active participants in their daughter’s chinuch.

The account of how Hashem looked after the people of Ninveh and sent them a navi to arouse them to teshuva is recorded in sefer Yonah. Why did the people of Ninveh merit such distinction? The Midrash points to Parshas Noach, where the city of Ninveh was built by Ashur so that his children would not dwell with the wicked Nimrod. A city which is built for the purpose of negating bad influences has the eternal protection of Hashem.

​As we herald the Yom Tov of Chanukah, we thank our devoted Rebbeim, Mechanchos, and teachers for devoting their lives to provide a Torah-true chinuch for our daughters, a priceless gift that will illuminate their lives forever.

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﻿​Apathy is an absolutely horrible disease.

It begins with a mild shrug of “I don’t care. You win some, you lose some,” progresses to “I’m just not going there. Please,” until slowly the victim grows depleted of feeling for anything or anyone at all. This malady hijacks the spirit and suffocates it. We worry when we see even the first symptoms of apathy because of how speedily it can become a student’s default mode, and how detrimental this is during this precious time in her development. As educators, we really just want our girls to care because a caring person is a caring person in school and out of school.

Our school year kicked off MHS Together, our first alumni gathering on September 7th. One hundred and twenty three graduates spanning grades 2009-2014 took the time to join us for an evening of spirit, learning, reflection and friendship. We cared to see them. They cared to see us and each other and their teachers. The result was that we both enjoyed a boost of energy as we came alive with warm memories and renewed commitments to stay in touch. With overextended schedules on both ends, this landmark event reinforced why “bothering” is indeed beautiful and why we are bothering to plan the next gathering very soon.

I encourage you to take a few minutes to discover The Lexington Weekly Blog for yourselves. Facilitated by our History Chair, Mrs. Jackie Rosensweig, and nurtured by our teachers Mrs. Badrian and Mrs. Schaffer, this platform is a breathtaking example of how to get young people to care about our world, our humanity, and our shared challenges. Although current events, nationally and globally, has been both confusing and terrifying, we cannot allow our girls to remain apathetic. We must train them to routinely “check in” and “weigh in” because this helps us cultivate their caring spirit. Israel must matter to them, the Middle East must matter to them, our elections must matter to them, Obamacare must matter to them, nuclear warfare must matter to them, gun control must matter to them, and immigration must matter to them because these things really do matter.

We must also grab every opportunity to model for them what responsible technological literacy is and is not. The Lex Blog exemplifies a secure, refined and valuable example of social media. Sometimes it seems like we are trying to fight a terrible tsunami, but we must bother to bother if we want them to bother. Once it invades, apathy is a difficult contagion to ward off, and that is why we cannot tolerate any of it.

​Thank you to our General Studies faculty for a fabulous first term of thinking, learning, doing and caring.