Wednesday, June 11, 2008

It all started with domestic ads in the 1950s. “Honey, I want to get your shirts whiter! But how do I do it?” It was a serious quandary women appeared to face at the time.

These days, there’s no question those old ads are sexist. But woman-bashing is far from over. It has only taken on a different, more sexual guise. According to these ads, women are built for male satisfaction. If problems arise–too much talking, disobedience, ugliness–simply deflate them, drink a lot of beer, or appease them with diamond jewelry.

These ads say it all. Here are ten of the industry’s finest:

10. This ad depicts a plain-looking woman getting more attractive with each sip of a beer. When the beer runs out, she’s–gasp–plain again.

9. “Made by hand?” Wishful thinking.

8. They mean kicking from the inside, right? Not her abusive boyfriend kicking her belly from the outside?

7. According to this ad, it’s easy to buy her good behavior:

6. Do not get married. Your wife will become a hideous grandmother with pinned-up hair. Your mistress, however, will always remain hot and available.

5. England’s Sun newspaper ran this billboard ad on the sides of buses. She looks like she’s for sale—and not for very much.

4. Notice the double meaning of the word. American Apparel’s entire ad campaign is based on borderline ads like these.

3. This Australian commercial has been dubbed the “Smartest Man in the World” commercial. Moral of the story: women always trap you into large, messy family situations, and they never use birth control.

2. This Czech ad starts with a couple on the beach. The woman is complaining about something. The man, thirsty and tired of her yapping, deflates her and goes to have a beer with his buddies.

1. This notorious German Heineken commercial created the ultimate Fembot. She’s a hot, roboticized, self-cloning Christina Aguilera lookalike who serves beer out of a keg in her uterus. They call her “Minnie Draughter,” and she’s the ideal beer wench-cum-hot dancing chick.