What to Text a Guy You Like

Texting is a confusing new world, isn’t it? After all these years of learning to make men chase you, and playing hard to get…

And now this marvel of technology comes along and everyone’s doing it. If you don’t text, you’re living in 1995! You’re left with the question of “To text or not to text?”

After all, isn’t the big lesson that a woman never makes the first move?

That’s the beauty of texting—it’s just like conversation. So a text doesn’t have to be a first move, nor does it have to convey interest or desperation for that matter. If a guy gets your number or you get his, then a text can be something remarkably simple. It can be a joke, a question or an observation. Most importantly though, the “voice” of the text has to be cool, comfy and casual.

Here are a few suggestions on what to text a guy and why it’s a great “move” in dating.

1. Hey. So whatever happened with your acting gig?

Now you see in this text, rather than say something boring like “Wassup?” or “Hey”, the woman actually engages him in a specific conversation. Starting off STRONG is the goal of a first text. Meaning you’re not boring, you’re not clichéd, you’re not “awkward” in that you just show up in his text messenger and wait for him to initiate conversation. You actually have something to talk about.

If you don’t actually have a previous conversation to continue, an alternate route would be…

2. So who’s your favorite band lately?

That’s right—asking a question about their life, personal tastes or current obsessions. This is non-threatening conversation and yet is actually quite revealing. It’s easy to talk about favorite films, bands, TV shows and books—or to increase the intellect a little bit and talk about ideas, or even past memories that were funny or strange. This avoids the boredom of back and forth one word conversations, while also keeping things casual and entertaining—like a talk show! So be Jimmy Fallon (or Tina Fey, if you will) and make the conversation interesting.

3. Hey stranger. What brings you back to the dark side?

I know, this seems really risky, right? But it’s an illustration for how a woman should answer long-wait texts. In short, she should resist the urge to be needy, to demand explanation, and to avoid at all costs over-texting the guy.

Sure, it sucks when a guy keeps you waiting. But it’s better to wait patiently (or not wait at all and actually do something else more interesting than waiting in front of a phone!) until the guy’s attention returns. This is always better than over-texting, or sending him too many needy questions, or saying weird, creepy things that he doesn’t want to read.

Most men will not react well to awkward texts where you make yourself look desperate for his attention. For that matter, women are usually advised to answer his texts within minute—or as long as an hour. Don’t answer him immediately. Don’t ask why the long wait. Don’t imply ANYTHING. Instead, keep things fun and laid back with a message like we shared above or something more simple like, “Well hello handsome!”

This shows that you’re just enjoying the texting and the flirting. There’s no commitment. No strange awkward tension about where he’s been. Sure, you can inquire if he’s all right if he vanishes completely. But if he’s just chilling and wants some space, by all means, don’t respond by smothering him. Who knows, maybe after a recharge he’ll come back MORE inclined to talk about something interesting.

4. Why did Charlotte Bronte make it easier to breathe? She created Eyre! Wokka wokka!

Of course, we’re just using a little bit of humor here to emphasize a point. If the first topic has run its course then come back with a funny. If you can’t think of anything funny to say, then focus on showing him your intelligence. It’s better for him to associate you with intelligence, and humor, and you can influence both by what texts you send him. A laugh could be as simple as sending him a Facebook meme or maybe something funny that happened to you. (“Did I tell you about the dwarf that hit on me???”)

And if you can’t think of anything ha-ha funny, then just stick to intelligent conversation. (Hence the Bronte reference!) A man will respect a woman who’s smart but not haughty about it. Don’t forget to entice him into the conversation and get him to share his knowledge too, since this keeps the high-minded talk more balanced, rather than you just lecturing him.

5. Whoops, sorry for the wait. Had a psychotic person to deal with lol.

Be mysterious! Whenever you say a casual statement, add a strong image or unfinished thought that provokes a response. The coolest thing about texting is just how mysterious you get to be with those flirty smileys, that risqué conversation…and yet with no real revelation as to how you feel about him. That’s the mystery of the relationship…and that’s also what inspires him to make the first move. You’re texting him, which feels like a signal. But he can’t quite read you. And that’s why he obsesses over you.

6. Anyways gotta go. Smell ya later.

Always “leave” first. You could say that texting is like sex in that way—the woman leaves the conversation first, so that she can leave the man wanting more. You’re always the one who says she has to go to bed or has an appointment. This way, you avoid lulls in the conversation and stop it from sinking down into boredom. Add to the mystery by saying that you have to go…but not telling him where. That’s the fun of leaving first…always leaves him with a question!

As you can see the art of the text pick up is all about engaging him and letting him feel good about this conversation. It’s not a chore, it’s not anything forced. He should associate your texts with something genuinely fun and unpredictable!

You might hate this TEXT but it leaves men obsessed

I would like to send you something very personal…

That will cause every man to chase you like nothing you ever saw before.