Meta

If you like being groped, poked, and felt up, then your local airport is the place to go. TSA is now offering free thrills with the purchase of an airline ticket. Yes, you heard me – a free, once in a lifetime sexual experience courtesy of your local airline company and its ever-so obliging staff of TSA (pronounced hooker) personnel.

So, if you don’t want to go through the naked body scanner and prefer a more personal experience, then opt-out for a public or semi-private sexual experience with TSA’s trained staff. Sexual preference is no object, and there is no age limit.

And if you are shy and change your mind at the last minute, airport support personnel along with your local law enforcement are there to lend an encouraging hand.

If you don’t want to pass through an airport scanner that allows security agents to see an image of your naked body or to undergo the alternative, a thorough manual search, you may have to find another way to travel this holiday season.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is warning that any would-be commercial airline passenger who enters an airport checkpoint and then refuses to undergo the method of inspection designated by TSA will not be allowed to fly and also will not be permitted to simply leave the airport.

That person will have to remain on the premises to be questioned by the TSA and possibly by local law enforcement. Anyone refusing faces fines up to $11,000 and possible arrest. READ MORE…