"Like all children, I wanted to be a soccer player. I played quite well, in fact I was terrific, but only at night when I was asleep. During the day I was the worst wooden leg ever to set foot on the little soccer field of my country. Years have gone by and I’ve finally learned to accept myself for who I am: a beggar for good soccer. I go about the world, hand outstretched, and in the stadiums I plead: “A pretty move, for the love of God.” And when good soccer happens, I give thanks for the miracle and I don’t give a damn which team or country performs it." Taken from Eduardo Galeno's Soccer in Sun and Shadow

Strip Club–Best (and Worst) of 2012/13

The new campaign is upon us, which means the release of new jerseys. I have already done posts for FC Barcelona, Manchester United and Juventus, and now it’s time for the rest of Europe.

Starting in England . . . for a one stop shop of this year’ EPL kits, visit this link at Mao Football. He has put quite a page together.

A couple of kits jump out at me.

The short sleeve jersey from Arsenal is horrendous and caused me to start the twitter hashtag: #StoptheSleeve. Over the last couple of years, NIKE has gone with thick bands, first at the bottom of the sleeve and now narrower, multiple bands across players’ biceps. However the long sleeve version isn’t too bad, sort of like the new US home kit. As for the away kit, NIKE launched the Purple Reign campaign that I have co-opted into #PurpleReignPain. Absolutely horrendous. Can’t believe the Gunners have to wear those.

Keeping with purple, Liverpool’s new shirt manufacturers Warrior have launched a third kit that is laughable. A purple chest with white sleeves, this is a kit that is doomed to the dustbin of history. A solid home kit and an away kit that I am withholding judgment on are completely undermined by this piece of shit.

Across the boarder, Rangers are struggling everywhere but their kit. This offering from Umbro is quite amazing and I love the old school look, with the sponsor getting out of the way.

Moving to the continent. . .

Inter and NIKE went way off the reservation with the away kit and may be facing some major blowback from the fans. Don’t know what could have caused them to move away from the typical white kit or maybe something blue. Red top is a very dicey decision.

Again NIKE is going to get some flak from me, this time on the Porto Home and Away Kits. Porto’s home jersey is very simple: blue and white stripes. Can be narrow or a little thicker. Think Juventus except black instead of blue and Italian instead of Portuguese. So what does the American sports manufacturer do? This:

Combining navy #StoptheSleeve’s with a ridiculously wide white stripe, this jersey is all kinds of wrong. Until you consider the away kit. . .

Further #PurpleReignPain.

Moving on to Spain. I have collected almost every kit here. So far my favorite is the Sevilla third kit. The all navy blue strip is marked by a white collar and looks pretty sharp. The worst kit in Spain is the away strip from Segunda side Recreativo Huelva. Might be the worst kit ever.

Finally, I will wrap up with Germany. I have not found the Bayern home kit, but their second and third strips leave a little to be desired. Then there is this offering from FC St. Pauli, playing in the second tier of German football. Guess Cleveland Browns fans have a natural partner in German soccer. The real winners in the Bundesliga are Borussia Dortmund. Not only are they the reigning domestic Double winners, but they have a full range of dynamic kits, with the home kit modeled by Roman Weidenfeller’s girlfriend, Lisa Rossbach.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

—–

Here are a list of sites to find your favorite team and see what are designs are out there:

I watched Arsenal’s first game today with the new unis and all I kept thinking was, “Who died?” Then I remembered that those black bands on the arms were part of the kit, not in memory of someone. Although at this rate of scoring, it may be prophetic and signal the end of Arsene’s reign.