Gender Quotes in A Game of Thrones

How we cite our quotes: (Absolute Chapter, Character Name, Chapter.Paragraph)

Quote #7

Stout, grey-haired Maege Mormont, dressed in mail like a man, told Robb bluntly that he was young enough to be her grandson, and had no business giving her commands... but as it happened, she had a granddaughter she would be willing to have him marry. (54 Bran 6.35)

Maege Mormont and her daughter Dacey break the gender role of women: they are warriors. But check this out: Maege is a warrior and a mother. What are we supposed to make of that?

Quote #9

King Joffrey's face hardened. "My mother tells me that it isn't fitting that a king should strike his wife. Ser Meryn."

The knight was on her before she could think, yanking back her hand as she tried to shield her face and backhanding her across the ear with a gloved fist. (68 Sansa 6.20-1)

Women are pretty vulnerable to violence in this book. Although the knightly code says that men should defend women, it doesn't seem to be put into practice: Robert hits Cersei, Meryn hits Sansa, the Dothraki rape the Lhazareen women. Are these moments of violence particularly upsetting because of the gender dynamic? Or are both men and women equally as vulnerable to violence in such a violent world?