Justin, the son I never had, I just received the news that your brother Joshua, 24, and his friend Alex Ingerly, 21, died in a motorcycle accident, neither of them wearing a helmet. It pained me to hear of the loss that two families have to endure, especially you, your sisters, and your mother.

This sad situation brought back those terrible moments some years ago when my sister died of breast cancer. She had refused to see cancer specialists. Instead, she put her faith in homeopathy as if it were a religion. I was angry with her for what I perceived to be irresponsible behavior, but then, slowly, I realized, it was her life, her choice, and tough as it was, I had to respect it.

My mother, having lost her only daughter, struggled even more than I did. I will never forget her face when I arrived at her hospital bed in Germany where she had just undergone a hip operation: her eyes filled with terrible pain about her loss, but also endless yearning that I would stay alive, the kind of love that began a healing process which brought all of us together more than ever before.

May the pain that all of you are experiencing right now lead to an even stronger bond.

Poet

Henrik Eger, Ph.D., bilingual writer of plays, poems, stories, articles, and textbooks. Theatre correspondent. Professor of English and Communication, champion for minorities, and traveler who loves his home, his dog, his friends, and of course, theatre--and all it stands for.