Stink Up Me Hearties Yoho

Oh my God, this does stink. A lot. Give me oxygen, I can't breathe! If it wasn't for the smell, this would definately be a good kit for beginners and a good complement for experienced user, which will like to use the black straps with more sturdy and secure bondage items.

This Door Play Kit by Sportsheets, is, like its name tells it, a bondage kit supposed to be used against a door, the black straps wrapped all around it. Made out of black polypropylene straps and red satin ties, it is perfect for light bondage play. However, your door will get very noisy if you even just move a little, so if you have neighbors/live in an apartments building, I would refrain from use it on the door. Instead, you can always try and wrap it around the mattress or, if you don't care for a permanent setting, literally nail it on the wall and cut the excess straps, I guess. You can also use the ties and sash alone. I know I can't be using this on my door. My neighbors will come knocking on my door faster than lightning.

This product can work for beginners or more experienced users, but the lack of instructions will be confusing for both. It's not that hard to figure out, but setting it up the first time will be long and will kill the mood.

This kit will fit any height, assuming you aren't taller than any average door. It will also suit any regular door. However, you might find the wrist ties to be a little short if you're into longer/rougher play, even if your wrists are tiny, because you can't tie cuffs. You'll feel your heartbeat quite fast.

The first thing you will notice after opening the little plastic bag containing the product is the smell. I can't describe it very accurately, but it smells like burn tires, burnt plastic, new shower curtain and old camping equipment. I can imagine this to come from the black straps, which are polypropylene, but the smell was so strong it even leaked into the polyester satin ties and sash. I hope airing them out will help.

The design of the product is very simple: two black polypropylene straps with small loops on half of the strap, and nothing on the other half. The side with the loops has some kind of plastic thing made to secure the strap around the door. It looks like the ones used to adjust straps on a backpack. The plastic thing looks like the picture.

So, there's one of these on each strap. The straps look very sturdy.

The sash and ties are basically large ribbons. They have a soft satiny side and a matter, rougher side to them. The edges are kind of sharp. I did not find them to be long enough to secure the hands properly: you won't have enough length to do cuffs, so the tie could cut circulation during long play session. For information, my wrist is 6 inches around and I could not make a decent cuff with those ties. During my trial (I don't usually get tied up, I'm the one who ties up my husband, so for the sake of this review I gave this a try), which only lasted around 5 minutes, I could feel my heartbeat in one of my wrists. I would definitely use rope, just for the sake of making secure cuffs.

Also, for information, my husband's wrists are 8½inches around, and I didn't even try making a cuff, there was not enough length at all.

For the ankle ties, it was fine, basically because you don't need to make a cuff if the feet are touching the ground. My ankles are 7½ inches around, and my husband's ankles are a little bit smaller than 9 inches around, and we both had plenty of material.

Also, the sash was quite good; I could not see much light thru or maybe near my nostrils because my nose made the sash poke out a little.

The product itself can be discreet if stored properly in something that's not its original box. They are basically straps and pieces of ribbons. But, if you want a more permanent setting or just are too lazy to remove them off your door, it's not so very discreet. Prepare to hear: "Why do you have straps on your door?”

First of all, the lack of instruction made this product very hard to set up on the door. I had to do trial and errors for quite a few minutes until it finally stayed in place. The black straps are kind of loose around the door and hard to secure tightly like I would prefer. Also, if you twist it accidentally while putting it on the door and you're done, you have to redo everything to untwist it.

The smell of this item makes arousal almost impossible for the hypersensitive person I am. I even gained a headache the first time I tried to set up this product on my door. I'll air it out and see if the smell goes away. If it does not, I will have to either refrain from using it, or wash it with strongly perfumed laundry soap.

I would definitely use something else to tie the wrists to the black straps (for standing position): the red satin ties are too short for my taste and you can't make cuffs with them. I would use ropes, or maybe specialty cuffs.

Also, like I said, moving around while tied up to the door makes the door very noisy, so I would use it on the mattress instead.

I would like to add that the loops can be a bit small for those with large fingers, so putting the sash in the loop can be a little more difficult, but nothing impossible.

There is nothing on the packaging about how to care for this kit, but I would wash it in the machine in the gentlest setting, with cold water. I'd then hang to dry to avoid any melting or damage in the washing machine.

I would not store this item in its original box, because it's big and bulky and also not discreet at all.

This product comes in a plastic bag in a very big hard cardboard box. The packaging is far from discreet: the line name (Sex & Mischief) is stated all over the box, the box is covered with wannabe BSDM pin-up black and white pictures. There's even a mini-story that, I guess, is supposed to be sexy, but made me roll my eyes because they refer to leaving somebody alone while tied up, which is pretty dangerous and nothing to joke about.

When I say the box is very big, I don't lie: it's literally twice the size of the product. It's not very convenient for storing.

Follow-up commentaryI've started to like it more17 days after original review

After almost 2 weeks of being out in the open, tied up to my canopy bed, this kit started to stink less. I can still smell the plastic-y smell on the satin ties and sash if I put my nose right on the, but I really have to put my nose on them. Same thing for the black straps. It no longer stinks up the room, but the smell is still there if you put your nose right on the item. It's no longer there enough to cause a headache. The smell started getting better after the first night: I left the windows opened all day.

I will be using the sash and ties more (I definitely used them a lot by themselves during the "airing out week", since they were tied to my bed, ready for use), and will probably tie the black straps to my bed headboard so I don't have to go thru the hassle of setting it up each time. I'm just that lazy.

This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.

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Reviewed by
MistressDandelion(Eden Advanced reviewer)“I’m a dandelion… Everybody calls me a weed… Am I not pretty enough to be a flower?”