Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes. This is day 2 of a 3 day bender so you will have to excuse us if we are a little less coherent than usual. Not that it will stop us from writing an article today though. We got a hilarious email from a buddy who was at the airport this morning, saw an Oiler in line and watched the hordes of travellers basically melt. It got us thinking of stories we have heard from people who have seen the city turn to mayhem when the Oilers get spotted doing something as glamorous as getting gas.

Here are two tales.

Sheldon Souray at the Airport – by AH

“I am at the airport this morning flying to New York - so I am standing in line for international customs. There is this gigantic lineup to go through and all of a sudden I can hear people gasping in shock behind me. Not a few people Wanye, like half a dozen or so going “GASP!” I look back and there is Sheldon Souray patiently standing at the back of the line minding his own business and trying to pretend as though a fifth of the line isn’t talking about him. As more and more people started to turn around and stare, the whispering started getting louder and louder and it was only a matter of time before he started fending off marriage proposals.

Security took one look at the situation and came and plucked #44 out of line and whisked him to the front like he was an international diplomat. Souray looked very sheepish about the entire thing and had looked ready to stand in line with the rest of us. As he walked by everyone in line you just saw every woman’s mouth fall open and every man’s dormant homosexuality activate.

Thought I would share this with you Wanye. It was hilarious”

Shawn Horcoff at Home Depot – by MSG

If we were going to tell hilarious “Oilers treated like royalty” stories, we had to phone our boy MSG and interview him about the time he saw Shawn Horcoff at Home Depot.

*Wanye dials MSG at 8:08 AM*
MSG:Hello?
Wanye: MSG, tell me about the time you saw Horcoff getting the royal treatment at Home Deeps.
MSG: Why?
Wanye: You know dang why MSG. This is going on the Nation.
MSG: It is? Man, I don’t know why people would want to read about that story.
Wanye: You just leave that to your ol’ pal Wanye.
MSG: It’s getting weird – you calling yourself Wanye all the time now. And your articles – this isn’t even about anything.
Wanye: Are you going to tell me the story or what?
MSG: Consider it your birthday present.

“This one time I was standing in line at customer service at Home Depot. It was in the middle of the summer last year and the Deeps was packed. All of a sudden this kid working at the Depot – he couldn’t have been more than about 17 – literally runs up to the front of the line and breathlessly tells the girl working behind the counter “I need someone to help a customer in plumbing NOW!” The 18 year old girl working at the front just kind of looks at the kid and at the long line as if to say “well, it seems I have a bit of a line in front of me don’t you think?”

“Tell plumbing it’s for SHAWN HORCOFF!” the kid pleaded as though the Oilers making the playoffs relied on Horcoff getting a 87 cent plumbing screw in the middle of July.” No sooner had the words “SHAWN HORCOFF” left the kids mouth than the entire line turned around mouths hanging open. Sure enough, there was Horcoff standing at the back of the line carrying a big basket of assorted pipe and plumbing crap, looking extraordinarily uneasy with all the attention. You could tell he was fixing a toilet or something himself and had just walked up to an employee in the Deeps and asked someone to find something for him. Then Home Depot basically shut down for him to get whatever he needed. It was hilarious how excited everyone got.”

Summary

Yep, if there is one thing we love it is the concept of an all you can eat donair buffet called “Dustin’s.” If there is another thing we love it is stories of people falling all over themselves when they run into Oilers in the community. If this cartoon hadn't taken about an hour to put togther we would tell the tale of the time Todd Marchant was ready to kill us at Japanese Village because we kept getting busted staring at him.

Hey, we were 19 and he was Todd Marchant. You'd stare too.

Any hilarious tales?

Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me.
Tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes. Find me on instagram for photos of donairs.

Hanging at a driving range in prince albert whacking balls and generally wasting a day. tall lanky kid walks up and ask me for a few pointers, we work out his general awkwardness with a couple simple rhythm drills. He tees one up and drills it about 325 on a rope into the bush at the end of the range.

Mike Modano.... age 16 or so..

Given his success through the years against the oil I should have beat him with a 4 iron .... who knew?

My brother and I went skiing a few weeks back while he was visiting. While we were getting fitted for gear, I saw an older white haired guy with white hair with his wife taking his granddaughter to ski lessons. I just saw him from the side but it started driving me nuts because he looked famously familiar.

I'm sitting by the exit putting on my boots next to my brother in the rental area and it's driving me nuts. Finally it hits me... PAT QUINN!!! No mistaking it.

Outside as he was walking his daughter to the slope, I skiied by and gave him a smile & nod. Didn't want to intrude on his family time, but I was extremely tempted to say "Hey, we NEED you in Edmonton."

This was a week or two before Tambo dropped the bomb. Maybe a sign of things to come.

Back in the early '90's on the "Cape", the baby Oilers used to hang out at Smooth Hermans. One of my buddies was an assistant trainer (stick boy), so we hung out alot with them. I told Francois Leroux to learn how to skate one night when I was about a dozen Southern and Orange into my night. Challenged Maltby to go outside one night too, when he was giving my ex GF a hard time. It was his first year of pro, so he wasn't very big, but probably still would have kicked my ass. Met John Kordic couple months before they found him dead. What a place to send a washed up pro goon, one who had substance issues, Cape Breton. That man was massive. His shoulders and back was as wide as two normal human beings.

My wife's boss is a former member of the EIG, and he gave us a couple of his Gold club tickets for a game. We drove in early, siting down in the Air Canada lounge and he was going to the buffet supper line. After he picked up his supper, he took us into the Owner's Lounge, that inconspicuous blue door beside the entrance to the Oil dressing room. The lounge is connected to the dressing room. There were only a couple of owners in there, but quite a few wives and GF's. We met Horc, Smytty, Moreau and a few others, plus wives. The best part of this experience was we had plastic cup beers and when we walked in, the bar attendant couldn't get to us quick enough to get rid of the plastic cups. Kinda embarrassing, sitting with numerous multi millionaires and they are drinking draft in champagne glasses and we are having ours ripped from our hands.

I was 7 in 1982. Mom and I went to the Safeway in WEM (yes, there was a Safeway there back then, crazy huh?). We saw Lee Fogolin as we walked down one of the aisles, he was wearing shorts and a T-Shirt. I stood there, jaw gaping open not only because I was staring at the captain of the Oilers, but because he was the hairiest person I had ever seen in my life to that point. Hairy to the point of being furry. I couldn't stop staring.

It was 1983 and I was 10. Wayne Gretzky bought a huge acerage home about a mile from our place. Me and 2 friends decided to go to his house for Holloween to see what we could get. He was having a party and there were lots of cars so we were scared to go ring the doorbell. Finally we did and Gretz opens the dooe, we yell trick or treat and he laughed his a$$ off, he was hammered. He said he didnt have any candy so tells us to come in and I will find you something. We walk into his huge house, with an indoor pool and I remember seeing Messier, Kuri, Coffey and Semenko. Gretz comes bac with an box of Old Dutch ripple chips and 3 hockey pucks (not signed) but with an oiler logo. We were so excited we kept wanting to go back to his house to try again but my Dad wouldn't drive us back.

We lost thos pucks in the snow at on our pond rink about 3 weeks later, but today they still lie at the bottom of that pond. We were stupid kids!?!

I took my sis out for dinner at joey's on the south side... as i'm looking for a seat in the lounge i walk backwards right into this guy... i turn around and it's Pronger....the day after we traded for him! With him are Jason smith, pisani, and moreau. During our meal, i told the waitress that i'd take care of there bill...: ) i know, like they can't afford it but i mean who wouldn't. So in the end i got a smile and nod from the boys...

I lived in vegas for a couple of years and i played shinny at this rink and one day i'm bs-ing with the boys and i find out that the guy i laid out on the ice that game is "Pokey" Reddick... our back up goalie from 1990 cup!
Man i felt like crap!

Ill throw in one, I havent had any close brush ins with Oil, but my uncle lives in Mornville and on his drive home one cold snowy night his truck slides into the ditch. After about 100 people drive by and hes digging himself out a nice huge Escalade pulls up and out hops Pisani. Spends the next 20 mins helping my uncle out of the snow, runs to his truck, spends a minute signing multiple pictures and hands them to him, makes sure he pulls out safely onto the road, honks and drives away.

One drunken night at the ranch, a buddy and I ran into a ton of oilers. Sam Gagner was really friendly and nice, talked to us for a long time. Looked like any other kid in there! Raffi Torres was a total douche. We didn't approach him, but he totally pushed me out of the way to get to the bar. (Classy move torres!)

The funniest though was Hemsky. My friend and I are both HUGE fans, and when we saw him getting drinks at the bar we said hey, congratulated him on his play and asked for a pic on the camera phone. He was pretty hesitant at first because he didn't want to get mobbed, but when we told him we totally understood and he was still our favorite, he changed his mind.

That picture is framed in my bedroom. My friend and I are smiling like tools. Hemmer is smiling too, but didn't have his teeth in!

working at the misericordia hospital one night when at about 3am in strolls Doug Weight with Kelly Buchberger. turns out Bucky's head was SEVERELY infected from some hair plugs he got implanted a few days earlier. nice to have good friends like Doug weight...

A few years back, my brother was at some university graduation ceremony, or some such event, and Wayne Gretzky was there. For whatever reason, my brother never got around to shaking his hand.

But recently, my brother saw the Great One in a bar in Toronto. He mentions how he never shook his hand at the ceremony, and would like to now. Wayne, obviously drunk out of his mind, says something along the lines of, "You were there? Tell these guys I'm with that I'm a doctor! They don't believe me!" So my brother told the guys he was with that yes, in fact, Gretzky was awarded a law degree at the same time and at the same school as my brother.

I think my favourite is the time I went to see the movie Miracle. It's like 3 in the afternoon on a weekday so the theatre's empty, just my friend and I and three guys in their 20s a few rows behind us. Then in walks MacT with two kids, they sit near the front. In the silence when the lights go out right before the movie starts, the three guys all chime out together "We love you, MacT!" Long pause. Then comes MacT's typical sardonic sounding voice: "Thanks."

Went to the All-Star Game in Atlanta last year, and Craig Simpson was on our flight. We get off the plane in ATL and are waiting for our bags at the carousel, he's by himself, so I figured I'd go say hello. I walk up and say, "Hey Craig, there's a dozen of us who made the trip from Edmonton to see the game. We're all going to be decked out in Oilers gear, and making a lot of noise... make sure you get the camera guys to look for us." He shoots me a dirty look, and says, "pffff, yah." And that's it. My bags come, I go to the bathroom, and on my way out of the airport, I see him in line at the lost baggage desk. I smiled knowing that the airline lost his luggage, and Carpet Superstore had just lost a future customer.

It was the summer of '91 in Red Deer. A friend of mine lived about a block away from Bill Ranford's parents house. I would ride my bike over to my friends house all the time thinking that maybe one day I would see Bill Ranford and maybe get his autograph. Then one day me and a buddy are riding by and it happens, I look at Bill seniors house as we ride past and there on the sidewalk is Bill Ranford talking to his dad. I almost drop a load in my pants as realize I might finally get to meet the former Conn Smyhte Trophy winner. Knowing that my friend is not as big a hockey fan as I am I say to him "Do you know who that is?" So he looks over and gets this shocked look on his face then proceeds to yell at the top of his lungs "Oh my god it's Brett Hull".

I took my kids to Snow Valley two years ago. Jason Smith was there with his daughters but wasn't skiing himself... I told my wife he probably wasn't allowed to due to contractual obligations/limitations... People were very respectful of his privacy/space. The Oilers were set to play Vancouver the following evening: It was hard for me to not ask him to crush a Sedin for me.

Was at halo on night during the lock-out and saw this mob of bozo's hanging off of some jerks every word that jerk was Iggy. Me being a oiler fan and already having consumed 12 or so bottles of piss, started having dilutions of grandeur. Me and my bud were thinking that maybe Iggy has a glass jaw and I could go down in local folklore as the "local boob" who kicked iggy's ass. So after another few bottles of booze I get my stones in order and walk over to him and push my way to the front of his admirers and it went like this....
ME:(puts out hand to shake)
IGGY:(shakes my hand very firmly)
ME:(starting to think this is a very good idea because he is built like a brick shithouse and I'm starting to see visions of my face getting hit.......hard)
ME: look man, I'm not here like the rest of these bonesmoke's trying to suck your......and get a free drink.....man....
IGGY: (Stands up and is looking pissed)
ME: ( realizes that now that there is a very good chance that I will go down in local folklore as the boob who thought he could take Iggy and failed miserably. So I panic and spout off some BS about the lock-out)
ME: Dude..(searching for an escape route) you gotta step up man..... you got some pull around the league......your a superstar......(ok, nice one give him praise...still panicking....) we just gotta get the game back on the ice......man...(smooth)
IGGY: I hear you man, I will see what I can do.(big Iggy smile)
ME: (high-fivin myself for somehow getting out of this) OK man...take it easy.
IGGY: You to.

The next Day I'm watching the idiot box, and Iggy is on the news at west ed talking about how we gotta get the game back on the ice because the fans are the true loser's here.
Needless to say I'm felling like a hero instead of a boob. Even though I know that my b.s. had nothing to do with his b.s. I still got a story out of the deal!

It is great reading these stories on meeting NHL players,Here in Canada we idolize these players,in the States most of these guys walk around and no one knows who they are.I have played cards and hang out with a player on the team,we never talk shop,when we meet other guys on the team, we never talk shop either,for the most part these guys are all down to earth.They like to have a good time just like us.

I ran into Iggy @ a concert in Pentiction when like 11 years ago. Beer Bonging & smoking hippy lettuce. We didn't harrass him too bad, nobody knew he was playing in the NHL back then.

Couple of years ago b4 SCF 2006 I was in Carolina & my uncle who live there took me to the only practice rink in town to see if they were practicing. They weren't, but we ran into CBC news & Curling goddess Coleen Jones. She asked him for directions to the Ramada to go to the Press Conference for both teams. He said "Follow us".

We met just about every hurricane & got autographs & pics with them. Classy.

Then the oilers took the stage, coming out only Smyth, CFP, Roli, Pisani & Hemsky were interviewed. I got everyone's auto graph except CFP & Roli. I was pissed, but karma got those 2 back them back unfortunately the next game & the weeks following game 7.

I got many autgraphs that day, including Brad Winchester - he was happy to scribble on the back of my sweater hahaha.

My sister and I attended a game vs. the Canucks this year, and afterwards, we were going to meet our cousin and her brother's (also our cousin...ah genetics) girlfriend at Oil City. I changed into a more bar friendly top before we went in, but my sister decided to wear her hockey jersey into the bar.

So we get in, and get on stage, and we're getting our sweet dance on to some sweet country jams, and enjoying some drinks, and our cousins (we'll call the cousin's gf a cousin- she basically is) join us, and it's all good. But my sister was overheating in her jersey. So her and I went back to her car so she could change. We get there, she changed, and I grabbed my camera, and then we started heading back to the bar. We're about to turn into Jasper Ave when I see two familar looking figures crossing the street. One of them looks at me, and it was indeed Gilbert and Gagner.

I elbowed my sister, and whispered, "Gagner and Gilbert...Gagner and Gilbert!!" So her and I were trying to non-chalantly walk in behind them, having a "casual" conversation. Cogliano also joined them when we all reached the bar. And as my sister and I were walking in, they all walked in too. They were doing the whole cheesy "bro five" thing with the bouncers, and when we walking in, my sister said, "Good game tonight" to Gagner, and he smiled and said, "Thanks".

So we find our cousin (also a big hockey fan), and tell her, and then we all go on stage to dance again, and notice there are other Oilers rolling in: JDD, Pouliot, Jacques, Chorney. And then, we see Cogs by one of the bars, surrounded by pretty ladies. We decide to go ask for a picture. My cousin's gf was the only one brave enough to ask, but she's not a hockey fan, so she almost asked the wrong guy. But we get to Cogs, and she asks him for a picture, and he was super sweet, and said yes, and posed for a pic with us. My cousin's gf asked the chick he was hitting on to take the pic. And she did! Heh heh...so as we're walking away, my sister says "Great game tonight" I guess he smiled cheesily, did some weird dance thing, and said "Thanks". He was getting his flirt on with the ladies all night. He even hit the dance floor with one chick. Then, when I was going to the bathroom, I passed Nilsson. And later on, we asked Gagner for a picture, and he was really nice, and posed for a pic with us. My cousin had to take the pic...when we asked, Gagner gave Nilsson a look like, "Could you take the pic?", and Nilsson totally walked away, and came back as soon as the pic was taken!

And then, my sister and I were getting ready to go (the cousin and cousin's gf had already left at that point), and they were all by the exit. At this point, Hemsky and Roloson (yeah, I said Roloson) has also showed up. I had a few drinks in me at that point, and therefore was brave enough to ask Gilbert (who's one of my faves) for a picture. He said yes, and I asked him if he was sure. He kind of gave me a weird look, and said yeah again. But he posed for a pic with me, and then I said "Thank you so much! I love your blog. Thank you so much" and he smiled and he was like, "Thanks".

Epic night. But that's the only story I have. That's why I was so wordy...and kind of fanatic. Sorry.

If you want to run into Oilers, Earl's is the place to go....I've seen various groups of them there all of the time....who wants the players though....anyone know where the Silver Fox hangs out in his (now lots of) free time??

It was March of 1997 and I had just boarded a plane in St. Louis to fly back after a grad school interview. I'm in the middle seat on the right side of the plane and I'm looking around because I'm surrounded by about 10-15 rows of empty seats. After about 10 minutes I'm getting freaked out because the whole front of the plane is full, and so is the back, but the entire mid-section is empty and I'm in the middle of it.

Then I look up and see a line of big guys in suits walking down the aisle, and the first face I see is Kevin Lowe. Then I see Dave Semenko, and now I'm crapping myself realizing what is about to happen. Sure enough, one by one the whole entire team gets on the plane and sits down, and I end up right in the middle between Mats Lindgren and Curtis Joseph.

Mats didn't talk much to me and spent most of the flight listening to his CD player, but he did offer to share his newspaper with me which I thought was nice. CuJo was super nice and chatted with me about St. Louis (since he used to play there) and Wash U (where I had my interview). But the whole time he is fidgeting and squirming around for no apparent reason. I finally get the nerve and ask him what's wrong. He tells me that he's trying to stretch out his legs because they are both cramping up on him, which is a pretty impossible task since we are sitting in coach and he's got the window seat. I ask him if this happens to him often, and he says, "After every single game."

We get off in Minny/St. Paul to transfer and they're off to New Jersey or something and CuJo wishes me the best of luck, shakes my hand, and limps away. I just can't even imagine how much pain he was in for the whole flight, and he still smiled and chatted with me like there was nothing to it.