Abstract art, abstract artists, and the daily practice of painting and drawing.

June 12, 2013

Most of my life, in spite of my bipolar ups and downs, I've felt indestructible--living as if there would always be time to revise and start over. But when your partner dies, you come up to death in a close and personal way that helps you to understand just how short life is.

For me, lately, this has changed the way I look at my art. I don't feel as protective of it, or of my reputation as an artist. I feel freer to paint for my self. I feel freer to abandon older paintings that don't speak to me any more.

Painting has always provided a means of jumpstarting myself out of a depression. Even when the depression itself doesn't lift, the fact of making art helps me to keep on keeping on.

Today I took an older painting that had seen its day, and repainted it. Here's the original:

Entropy, 36" x 36" acrylic on canvas.

I began with white, covering over large areas of the canvas. Then I blended in raw sienna, burnt sienna, and burnt umber, painting quickly and blending as I did.

Finally, I drew lines in black, feathering and blending them with a brush. At this point, the original painting glows beneath the over-painting, lending color tones and texture.

December 26, 2012

Unrealistic expectations can make the holidays a stressful time for everyone, but especially so for those of us who are prone to depression. My expectations at this point in life are to BE DEPRESSED around the holidays. That way I can go easier on myself. It's OK to hide under the covers and not greet the world with a cheery smile.

Expecting to be depressed around this time has actually lowered my overall levels of depression--so far. Still have New Year's to get through.

One of my friends always leaves town around the holidays in order to get away from them. But these days, when just about everyone celebrates something in the month of December, it's hard to get away from the good cheer entirely.

My heart goes out to those of you who are miserable at this time of year. Give yourself permission to hunker down until it's over. A new year is just around the corner.

September 03, 2012

Today is Labor Day in the US: no mail or garbage collection. Banks are closed. Families are enjoying their last barbeque before school starts. It is unclear how all this celebrates labor, but that's typical of national holidays.

I am not a fan of holidays and often fall into a funk during them. Ditto for today.

I saw family and friends yesterday and have nothing planned for today. I was going to treat it as a work day until I fell into this depression. Remember, I ambipolar.

So I decided to share some of my favorite older paintings with you this week. They were sold before I made high resolution images of them, and do not appear on my website.

April 16, 2010

While reading Amy Cook's blog about the Ten Most Eccentric Artists, I realized how lucky I am that the public expects artists to be eccentric. If I was an accountant, I might have to hide the fact that I have bipolar disorder, but as an artist, I think people suspect it makes my art better or deeper somehow.

In any case, you might not agree with Amy's list as being the MOST eccentric, but one I hadn't heard of before is Daniel Johnston, the only artist on the list who is still living. Johnston is also bipolar, according to Amy's blog, and is an outsider artist and musician.

Do you have to be crazy to make art? I don't think so, but when you're feeling crazy, there's nothing like making art of any kind to soothe the soul.

November 02, 2009

No matter how much I try to meditate and to live in the moment, my brain is always focused on future obligations and worrying about them. It's a lifetime condition: bipolar mood swings and anxiety, though at this point in my life I manage them better than I did when I was younger.

Having a major exhibition of my abstract art in the Cayuga Museum--my very first solo museum show--has triggered the anxious part of my brain once again. Last night I could not fall asleep, and I guess I'll be relying on sleeping pills the night before hanging, the opening reception, and the art talk. I try to limit the use of sleeping pills as much as possible, but there are times when it's the right decision to use them.

I did begin painting a new canvas, however. Here's stage one of Canvas #78:

October 19, 2009

I had about a hundred visitors each of the last two weekends when my studio was open for the Greater Ithaca Art Trail. It was an opportunity to talk to a lot of people about my abstract art, including other artists, art collectors, students, and teachers.

I was a busy social bee, outgoing and expressive, and there was a lot of admiration coming my way. Now it is over and I'm putting my studio back into working order. I'm glad it's all over, but yet I feel let down. Maybe just a reflection of my bipolar disorder? Hard to tell, but I'll keep busy and hope it passes.

December 20, 2008

As a facilitator and member of a bipolar support group, I know that many of our members want to keep their mental illness a secret. Some have already been punished by employers when they were open about it. But as an artist, I don't feel the label "bipolar" or "manic depressive" hurts me at all.

In fact, being a bipolar artist fits many people's stereotype of what an artist is: a madman/woman whose creativity is enhanced by her mental illness. Now, that makes it easy for me to "come out" as bipolar, because it's not going to hurt sales of my paintings.

But a more important reason to be open about having a mental illness is to help fight the prejudice people have against us. There is no reason not to hire us, befriend us, date us, or marry us. We may have some special needs, but so would an employee who was deaf, blind or handicapped in another way. And surprisingly, many of us with mental illness have no special needs at all. We are managing our illness fine, thank you.

One of the artistic advantages of being bipolar, is that during our hypomanic state, we are filled with energy, enthusiasm, confidence and creativity. This is a state we would all like to be in forever, but unfortunately, it too often leads to full-blown mania for some, and depression for others.