Blinded Blind Dates, Part 1

Posted On: Friday, October 19th, 2012 at 9:03 am

Ever been on a blind date? What were you thinking meeting someone sans all your senses? My friend Anna is quite beautiful. She is also terribly naive and not so good at hearing the cold, hard truths of the world. Thus, the other morning, prior to a highly anticipated blind date she was embarking on, when she asked me to talk her down from her jittery state, I tried to warn her that I, (known to be somewhat cynical when it came to matters of the heart) wasn’t the right person. She persisted.

In the dictionary, blind can be defined as “not being able to see; sightless”. It implies the loss of a major sensory organ — one highly critical to the mating game. And before I got into a full-fledged discussion with Anna, and as I silently dredged up my own blind date experiences, I began to fully appreciate her courage.

Let’s really consider the whole idea of these sensory deprived endeavors. As intelligent, busy human beings, we are generally willing to fully trust the judgment of friends, acquaintances, and colleagues, and blindly assume that they are hooking us up with interesting, equally intelligent, non-maniacal sorts of mates. Certainly, we tell ourselves, it’s better than the internet chatting alternative. And let’s also face the music here people: no matter what we tell ourselves as we primp in anticipation and call up our friends with seemingly casual inquiries on what to wear, we do have that little voice inside our heads asking if this blind date just might be “the one.” As I looked at Anna across our regular table, I saw something frightening in her doe-like eyes. It wasn’t just anticipation… no, it was expectation. What the hell do we really think we can expect from a blind date?

With Anna, who, incidentally requires a step by step analysis of most everything, I tried, as best I could, to discuss it logically…

Scrutinizing the never-met-before specimen over the telephone is a critical portion of the date.

From the very get-go, if the person sounds like they are slobbering — curses their mother or father incessantly — refers to you as his “bitch,” or as her “toy,” — talks about the beautiful implants their last partner had — you have that wonderful opportunity to come down with a long lasting, physically incapacitating flu bug.