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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Being Sick Sucks

I'm sick. And I'm not sure who to blame for it, unless it is that O'Donnell woman who swears she is not a witch (isn't that sort of like the person who mentions the fart first and blames it on someone else, that's the person who did it? The one who says it? ). Some of this may not make any sense, because of the fact that I am disintegrating as I write.

Things are bad when your eyeballs hurt. When it hurts to move them. Eyeballs want to be free, they want to be independent and wander at their leisure. I normally let my eyes set their own pace but it feels like someone is inside my eye socket trying to kick out my eyeball with a farm boot and throwing down those snap firecrackers. Or is trying to use them as a slingshot from the inside. Never let someone use your eyes as the artillery in a slingshot. I tried to search out this symptom in order to diagnose myself with something but would you believe there is no such symptom? I actually invented a new disease! I will think that is a lot more cool when it's over with. I'm going to have to come up with a name. Accidentalopathy maybe.

I would say the girls have been pretty good during my bout with the plague, but that would bring on the blog curse so I am not going to mention it.

Last night I actually had 8 Pepto Bismols for dinner. Let me tell you something, if you need 8 of those things, your life truly sucks. I mean, you take your first 2 according to the directions, then you experience failure. You take 2 more and fail again.Fail some more just for fun. Do it twice more before you can sit somewhere other than the potty. The good news is I think I freed up a lot of time since I should have no need for a toilet for the next month or so. Also, I'm sure I weigh 3 pounds less than I did yesterday. Rock on.

Okay, then I have a headache and all my muscles hurt like I used them for something. My throat feels like it has road rash and I am so very very tired. Like Dorothy in the poppy field tired. blegh.

So feel free to leave your considerate and caring comments. I don't want to be pushy, but when I am sick I count my comments and make a note of who has written what. Not that you have to or anything. Just sayin'. Because I'm sick. Really super sick.

It's possible not all of this makes sense. I hope some of it does. Going into a coma now.

I'm so sorry, being sick sucks! I am the BIGGEST BABY when I am sick, so I applaud your writing-ness.

Should I write each thought in separate comments to get bonus points?

Well, regardless, send the girls to school, rent some lame old movies or seasons of TV (I'm currently enjoying The Nanny, oh yes I am, I am HIGH BROW), and don't move. Or maybe play them on your laptop balanced on the tub across from your toilet. Whatever works.

Hope you feel better soon...and hope your family is taking care of you! If not (and this is all written with the deepest sarcastic font in an effort to be funny), you could always contact JackAss to come over and hold the laptop while you watched...he was pretty good at taking care of skankenho when she was eating her tongue and passing out, etc. (snort, cough)

Even when sick and suffering from Accidentalopathy you are very funny. I wish you quick healing and recovery. Put on some thick, warm fuzzy socks, mismatched ones work better and drink your favorite warm drink.

I don't know - illness seems to hone your comedic gifts... (Actually, I know how that is - before Aidan was born and I was in such agony I was throwing up from the pain....for some odd reason in the momentary releases from hell, I was keeping everyone in stitches).

You didn't have a flu shot, did you? I decided on Wednesday, OK - this ONCE, I'll get Sergei a flu shot; he was already at the doctor - why not?

I'll tell you why not! Before we were half-way back to school he was saying that whenever the car stopped he was dizzy and everything was wavering. Then he got sicker, and sicker and has now missed two days of school. Of course, he's never actually gotten the FLU.

You have all my sympathy and more. I didn't find the post funny (although I recognize it is :) because I am living your life! We are SO sick here too-- Atticus and I. Although he is currently winning because he is covered head to toes in hives. Ugh. I hope we don't get hives. Are hives contagious? good god I hope not.

((Hugs)) to you and I hope you get well soon! Maybe when we feel better we can go out and buy new skinny clothing together to celebrate our digestive illness-induced weight loss.

On one of my trips to Haiti a nurse friend of mine lived on portable Pepto. She was the ONLY one on the team that didn't end up half dead with Giardia but by the 8th day was totally deaf from the aspirin toxicity and the ringing in her ears.

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The girls and their Mommy

Once upon a time I lived a lovely little life. I did what I wanted. I spent what I wanted. My husband and I traveled when we wanted and ate at restaurants when we wanted. One day after eating out while traveling and spending too much on dinner and drinks, we became pregnant and it was a girl (Teena). 2 years later I thought I had this mom thing under control and we adopted a 4 year old little girl (Genea). She is Ukrainian and was previously adopted by another family who dissolved ("disrupted") their adoption and severed their parental rights.The girls are 10 and 12 now. I left my job a few years ago to be a SAHM.Things have gone uphill from there!