Lorelai: Michel, the phone. Michel: Mm-hmm. It rings. Lorelai: Can you answer it? Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them. Lorelai: You know who's really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency. Michel: Independence Inn. Michel speaking. | permalink

Rory: I can't be late on my first day of school. Do you know what happens to people when they're late on their first day? Lorelai: It's shorter? Rory: For the rest of the year, they're labeled "The Late Girl." Lorelai: How dramatic. | permalink

Lorelai: (to Headmaster Charleston) Rory is not gonna to be a problem. She's totally low maintenance, you know, like a Honda. You know, they're just easy, just...nice office. | permalink

Rory: Is it hard to become a member here? Richard: Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process. Rory: Kind of like the FBI? Richard: We're much more thorough than that. | permalink

Rory: Oh my God, I just got hit by a deer! Lane: You hit a deer? Rory: No, I got hit by a deer! Lane: How do you get hit by a deer? Rory: I was at a stop sign and it hit me. Lane: Was it a 4-way stop? Rory: What does that matter? Lane: I don't know. I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer. | permalink

Max: How about coffee? You like coffee? Lorelai: Only with my oxygen. | permalink

Rory: I'll be back in plenty of time to help you decorate. Lorelai: No, this is your party. You do not work. You lounge and mock those who are. Have I taught you nothing? Rory: Sorry, I'll try to be better. | permalink

Lorelai: He kissed you and you said 'thank you'? Rory: Yes. Lorelai: Well that was very polite. | permalink

Dean: So are you asking me to go to a dance with you? Rory: No... Yes... I mean... if you wanted to go, I would go too. Dean: That would probably be good since it's your school. | permalink

Lorelai: Rory, there are only two things that I trust in this entire world. The fact that I will never be able to understand what Charo is saying no matter how long she lives in this country, and you. Rory: Hopefully not in that order. | permalink

Dean: We were reading a book and then we fell asleep. Lorelai: Pick a more interesting book next time. | permalink

Max: Not only are you breaking up with me, you're doing it really badly. Lorelai: Am I being graded? Max: No, I'm a little disappointed. I would've expected a little better dumping from you. Lorelai: I just need space. Max: Well, I don't. In fact, I want as little space as possible. A hundred clowns crammed into a Volkswagen, that's the kind of non-space I'm talking about. | permalink

Lorelai: Hey, you know the one good thing we learned from this? Rory: What? Lorelai: That I'm a babe. | permalink

Lorelai: Who wants cheese? Rory: Are there crackers? Lorelai: Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes, there are crackers. Rory: And in the Gilmore house? Lorelai: Who wants cheese? | permalink

Lorelai: I miss Max. Rory: I know. Lorelai: I had a dream about him the other night. Rory: Really? Dirty? Lorelai: (embarrassed) No, absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer. | permalink

Lorelai: So, last time I saw you, you were headed home. You want to fill in the blanks? Rory: I don't know. I just snapped and I got sick of everything. I wanted to go anywhere. Lorelai: So you picked hell? | permalink