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Episode 126: Star Wars Cartoons

This week, we’re joined by Pablo in a galaxy far, far away. We talk about a number of Star Wars cartoons, in particular Droids and Ewoks. We conclude that both were pretty wretched.

After the show, we have was is apparently an impromptu episode of Comic Connoisseurs. In essence, today’s podcast is a two-in one show, as our post show is as long as the main show. In the extended segment, we talk about our experiences as webcomic authors and spill some webcomic community dirt.

One moooooore thing:
Between the first and second segments, you’ll hear a clip in which “Bill Cosby” reads the opening crawl to Star Wars Episode 2. This is actually an old clip from DVDpodBLAST. It’s an old favorite podcast of mine, in which a bunch of mid-westerners transplanted to north Hollywood record their own alternative commentaries for some of the worst movies ever made. Nothing is scripted, and they’re funnier than Riff Trax.

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7 thoughts on “Episode 126: Star Wars Cartoons”

I kinda have to disagree with Ben there regarding Episode II vs Episode III. That Anakin/Padme Bollywood-like love sequence and wretched pick-up lines makes Attack of the Chumps the worse of the prequel trilogy for me. The only thing they’re missing is a tree in the middle of the grass field and a musical.

Man, I knew Lucas was a terrible director, but never thought he was a God-damn egomaniac. Sheesh.

Yeah, I think Ben, like most people, simply shut Episode 2 out of his head, and therefore does not remember it being as wretched as it truly was. We jokingly quote a lot of bad Anakin lines on the show, and almost all of them come from this movie.

It’s also the most plotless of the three prequels. It’s an absolute mess. It’s an excruciating love story mixed with a terrible whodunnit. There’s no point at any stage where you even remotely empathize with Anakin.

And there are so many scenes where Anakin does or says something completely horrifying, and Padme keeps falling deeper in love with him. First he asserts that a dictatorship would solve all of the problems in the Republic, at which point I began wondering why it is that we’re supposed to think that the separatists are evil. And then he kills the sand people, admits it to Padme, and she comforts him.

Attack Of The Clones is darn near close to being the worst movie I’ve ever seen. And the only reason I’m holding out is that I can’t quite decide if it’s actually worse than Very Bad Things or The Brothers Solomon.

I just realized from the ‘he slaughters them like animals, she falls in love’ angle of the crappy love story that Attack of the Clones reeks of bad, bad fanfiction. I’m haunted by this movie that shouldn’t have been made…

I’m one of those guys that always try to find any good points of any movie. I thought the Yoda Vs Dooku fight was good, but now… ugh.

For me I’m still trying to find a tiebreaker for this and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for worse movie ever.

I had an epiphany this weekend, and I think my criticism of Episode 2 that I gave on the show is a little off-base. It’s so much worse than I was giving it credit for.

I said that nothing happens. Actually, A LOT of stuff happens; it’s just that nobody cares what’s going on.

For example, in the beginning of the movie, Padme is arriving on Coruscant to block the creation of a clone army. Then Obi Wan discovers the creation of a clone army on Camino. You’d think that’d be a huge clue that there was corruption in the Senate or perhaps with the Chancellor.

And then Mace Windu and Yoda sit and watch Jar Jar hand over unlimited powers to the Chancellor, which was the very thing that Padme was fighting to oppose.

The Jedi have all of this information, and they do NOTHING. They could have informed the Senate, assuming that there were still some uncorrupted members. Or they could have gone to the people. They could have done a lot of things.

And I know, every decision that the Jedi make in this trilogy is dumb and wrong, but this movie is especially egregious for ignoring common sense.

I kinda give Fred Gallagher a pass on his poor work ethic. From reading his blog, I can kinda tell that running the site and the store by himself has left him without any time to actually draw the comic. That said, I haven’t read it in over a year, so for all I know his wife has gotten better.

Hey, I’ve been critiquing other people fanfiction for a little over a year and a half now and would love to get some experience reviewing scripts if you wanted another set of eyes.

Eh, I kinda don’t… he makes it sound so difficult, but he doesn’t even present clean pencils; just rough pencils with guidelines and shit still in there. IF his final product was polished, then we could talk. Bryan Hitch he ain’t.

Although I don’t like Mega Tokyo, I think the criticism of his roughness is a bit misplaced. The fact that he leaves in the pencils is not a crime in itself.

I can appreciate roughness and grittiness in someone’s style. There’s a charm to pencil sketches and scratch drawings that I think gets lost when you clean up the art. It tends to have an energy that ink doesn’t quite capture.

Now that said, I think Fred’s pencils are dull and lifeless. THAT would be MY criticism. It’s not that you can still see the pencils. It’s that there’s no point of them even being there.