Double Dragon - Two brothers with killer pompadours get high on bath salts and assault every man woman and child within a 10 block radius.

Dig Dug - A psychopath goes on an trip to the center of the earth where he violently murders every wonderful creature he comes across with a bicycle pump.

Duck Hunt - Worthless dog who has learned how to giggle like a human mocks you while you attempt to hunt. Ducks are killed by shooting a plastic gun that causes lightning flashes in the sky which cause the susceptible feathered creatures to have deadly seizures.

Mario Odyssey - "Cocaine is a hell of a drug!"

Metroid - Buxom space babe lands on a uninhabited planet and proceeds to eradicate every living thing she can find. It's like the Crocodile Hunter if he had a rocket launcher.

Adventure Island - Portly man with fruit addiction tries skateboarding at 40. Then he takes up the long lost art of bludgeoning innocent wildlife with crude stone hatchets. Also, his wife may have left him.

Ghouls n Ghosts - The worlds longest and most difficult advertisement for Ugg's new line of men's boxer briefs.

Punch-Out: beat up ethnic stereotypes -- and a few Americans -- by taking advantage of the crippling OCD that forces them to do the same moves over and over again. Also, you're a dwarf for some reason.

Circus Atari: six criminal clowns forced to endure lethal, Thunderdome-style contest in pairs, subjecting each other to repeated head trauma before one falls to his death. Repeat until only one survives.

Final Fight: jealous freegans try to keep a retired wrestler from getting food poisoning by eating out of trash cans.