Asheville NC Bed and Breakfast Mourning Shelby Anne Sprowls Wilkie

Many people in Asheville and I suspect outside Asheville as the news leaks out will join our Asheville NC Bed and Breakfast Mourning Shelby Anne Sprowls Wilkie. I was readying myself for work early in the morning when the radio station I listen to first announced they were searching for a young woman who was employed at the radio station and was at that time only missing.

Having volunteered for many years in the field of domestic violence coupled with the knowledge that though we are often taught to use care around strangers….Generally, women are killed by people who know them. Actually they are twelve times more likely to die at the hands of someone they know. As of figures compiled in 2010, North Carolina has the dubious distinction of ranking Number 4 in the nation in Domestic Violence Deaths perpetrated against women.

Rather than concentrate on the facts of domestic violence this particular Blog is dedicated to Shelby. She was a Mom. Her daughter,Sydney Anne, will never know her Mother. Only three months old, she will miss all the wise counsel,years of dedicated love, laughter and camaraderie that would have developed over the years as Moms and daughters are wont to do.

She was a daughter…Many of you reading this blog have children and when, as in this case, the natural order of things in which the Mother dies first is superceded by violence- this devastating loss takes on an edge that I imagine (blessedly, I do not know) leaves one keening in pain for a very long time. Barbara Jan’s life will never be the same. Her father, Bill I am sure will feel the same loss of his baby girl.

Shelby Anne was 38 years old and was, by all accounts a person who would have, given the chance, provided much love, friendship, kindness and smiles to light the lives of many had she not been killed by someone who had vowed to love and cherish her.

I didn’t know what the blog of today was going to be. I was reading the Asheville Citizen Times Obits. The first line of Shelby’s obituary said, “Shelby Anne Sprowls Wilkie , 38, of Hendersonville died January 2, 2012.” when something in me screamed NO. Shelby did not die. Shelby was murdered. I understand our Citizen’s Times has to use the word died because though her husband has confessed to her killing, we must preserve the rights of the murderer.

Just to be clear Shelby was murdered. We must be able to use that word if we are ever to address the issue effectively. Maybe some day we can even become as protective of the murdered as we are of the perpetrators.For those living in Asheville or wanting to help this victim of domestic violence there is fund established for Baby Sydney at mix 96.5. It won’t bring her Mother back but as a society, to our shame, it seems all we are prepared to do.

Failing the abusers willingness to find that help- I pray for the day when women will be well versed enough in this cycle of violence to give up the idea of “working this out” “staying the course” and all the other euphemisms employed in their decision to stay in this potentially lethal situation.