All Blog Posts Tagged 'holidays' - Atheist Nexus2015-08-02T23:10:32Zhttp://atheistnexus.org/profiles/blog/feed?tag=holidays&xn_auth=noCelebrate Your Kids This Father's Daytag:atheistnexus.org,2015-06-22:2182797:BlogPost:26136412015-06-22T01:00:00.000ZBluegrass Skeptichttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/AmandaAshcraft
<p><a href="http://api.ning.com:80/files/lihD20i2jrw3kJtgR-dBzExkdRmQ9bWpiiGNpXEXnfuf2cQ3dDxF65cwSVX9bmYgl*GShhVjSz7GMmDZqZeQNZrmrxstIFGT/1198667_dad_day.jpg" target="_self"><img class="align-left" src="http://api.ning.com:80/files/lihD20i2jrw3kJtgR-dBzExkdRmQ9bWpiiGNpXEXnfuf2cQ3dDxF65cwSVX9bmYgl*GShhVjSz7GMmDZqZeQNZrmrxstIFGT/1198667_dad_day.jpg" width="300"></img></a> It’s Father’s Day, and to all my readers out there fortunate enough to be a dad, enjoy your day of recognition. Savor your specially made breakfast, awkwardly drawn markered portraits on construction paper, and totally needed extra set of screw drivers or packs of batteries. It’s a day of days for you during…</p>
<p><a target="_self" href="http://api.ning.com:80/files/lihD20i2jrw3kJtgR-dBzExkdRmQ9bWpiiGNpXEXnfuf2cQ3dDxF65cwSVX9bmYgl*GShhVjSz7GMmDZqZeQNZrmrxstIFGT/1198667_dad_day.jpg"><img class="align-left" src="http://api.ning.com:80/files/lihD20i2jrw3kJtgR-dBzExkdRmQ9bWpiiGNpXEXnfuf2cQ3dDxF65cwSVX9bmYgl*GShhVjSz7GMmDZqZeQNZrmrxstIFGT/1198667_dad_day.jpg" width="300"/></a>It’s Father’s Day, and to all my readers out there fortunate enough to be a dad, enjoy your day of recognition. Savor your specially made breakfast, awkwardly drawn markered portraits on construction paper, and totally needed extra set of screw drivers or packs of batteries. It’s a day of days for you during the year, and I’m sure you’ll be out there working on a project, mowing the lawn, or trying to get a wiffle ball unstuck from your child’s finger at some point this afternoon.</p>
<p>I couldn’t help but notice though that this holiday is often laughed at and dismissed as one of the more low-key celebrations of the year. This isn’t something I disagree with either. One can definitely see the bias between Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. Moms win hands down in the commercialization department. This doesn’t have to happen though. Yes, dad, you can reclaim Father’s Day for yourself, and make it a day looked forward to year after year without having to really remind your kids of its approach, and the process is very simple in order to gain these results. The results being incredible memories, quality time with your kids, and feeling good about fatherhood.</p>
<p>Just do what comes natural to being a dad. Keep giving — even on <em>your</em> holiday.</p>
<p><img src="http://i0.wp.com/thebluegrassskeptic.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/img_4978.jpg?resize=300%2C261" alt="img_4978" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-1174" height="261" width="300"/>Here’s the deal. Every year I try to make a special effort to treat my kids out for Mother’s Day. I take them to a theme park, maybe a dinner out at an arcade style restaurant, or just hit a local carnival for some fun time. Why do I indulge my children on a day reserved for my own recognition and pampering? I realized a long time ago that without them in my life, I wouldn’t be a mom to begin with. Shit, I’d probably have become a statistical nightmare if it weren’t for them and the obligations that come attached with parenthood. For these simple reasons, I’m ever grateful. Now, your reasons don’t have to necessarily be as...<a href="http://thebluegrassskeptic.com/2015/06/21/celebrate-your-children-on-fathers-day/" target="_blank">Read more here on my blog The Bluegrass Skeptic...</a></p>Happy Hanukkah -- sort oftag:atheistnexus.org,2013-12-02:2182797:BlogPost:23419372013-12-02T01:30:00.000ZAlan Perlmanhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/AlanPerlman
<div id="content"><div id="content-main"><div class="post" id="post-181"><div class="posttitle"><h2><em><span class="font-size-3">"If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities."</span></em></h2>
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<p><em>Voltaire</em></p>
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<p><em>“Hanukkah celebrates the triumph of tribal Jewish backwardness.”</em></p>
<p><em>Christopher Hitchens</em></p>
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<p><em>“Hanukkah is…the Feast of Lights. Instead of one day, we got eight CRAZY…</em></p>
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<div id="content"><div id="content-main"><div id="post-181" class="post"><div class="posttitle"><h2><em><span class="font-size-3">"If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities."</span></em></h2>
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<div class="entry"><p> </p>
<p><em>Voltaire</em></p>
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<p><em>“Hanukkah celebrates the triumph of tribal Jewish backwardness.”</em></p>
<p><em>Christopher Hitchens</em></p>
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<p><em>“Hanukkah is…the Feast of Lights. Instead of one day, we got eight CRAZY nights!”</em></p>
<p><em>Adam Sandler</em></p>
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<p>Hanukkah, which this year began incredibly early, on Thanksgiving, is one of those holidays that serious humanists could just as easily do without. But because of our Christian friends, it has perhaps a hundred times the importance it deserves. It is the ultimate “coattail” holiday. It thus merits brief consideration here.</p>
<p>Hanukkah actually got a boost from the Christians, first because it happens to be a winter festival of lights. Jewish kids needed something to celebrate in the lands of the diaspora in which Christianity predominates – otherwise, as I can attest from personal experience, Christmas feels like a gigantic party that you are not a part of. <em>South Park</em>’s Kyle spoke eloquently for many of us when he sang of how tough it is to be a Jew at Christmas. But Adam Sandler redeemed our respect with his <em><a href="http://video.google.com/videosearch?sourceid=navclient&amp;rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS323US323&amp;q=hanukkah+song+adam+sandler&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;ei=4dciS8fjO4GwNoW7zeoJ&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=video_result_group&amp;ct=title&amp;resnum=3&amp;ved=0CBwQqwQwAg#sourceid=navclient&amp;rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS323US323&amp;q=hanukkah+song+adam+sandler&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;ei=4dciS8fjO4GwNoW7zeoJ&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=video_result_group&amp;ct=title&amp;resnum=3&amp;ved=0CBwQqwQwAg&amp;qvid=hanukkah+song+adam+sandler&amp;vid=6248601166608612472">Hanukkah Song</a></em> (”don’t smoke marijuanica”), in three versions, yet. Indeed, Adam Sandler is our Hanukkah miracle!</p>
<p>The second boost came when the gift of <em>gelt</em> – i.e., cash, a tradition which still persists – morphed into actual gifts, again in imitation of the Christians. Now Jewish kids could get gifts on eight nights!</p>
<p><strong>Return of the Taliban</strong></p>
<p>Sigh. Hanukkah celebrates, in part, the rededication of the temple in the second century CE by a bunch of Jewish Taliban. It was the restoration of the old-time religion. Once again, the relatively primitive, tribal Jews were in (temporarily victorious) conflict with a secular, rational, cosmopolitan culture, this time the Greeks. (We were the hillbillies of the ancient world, but we caught up quickly once the Enlightenment opened up secular opportunities.)</p>
<p>The eight-night thing comes from a generally Jewish tradition of weeklong seasonal celebrations. The political triumph, then, was grafted upon the already existing Winter Lights Festival, and traditions were added along the way – the <em>dreidel</em>, the eight-night miracle, and many others.</p>
<p><strong>Hanukkah’s OK</strong></p>
<p>Hanukkah is OK, insamuch as I see nothing wrong with celebrating light in midwinter, as long as it is metaphorically taken as manifest in the humanistic virtues. Thus, we can rededicate ourselves to being better human beings and to improving the world (the traditional Jewish ideal of <em><a href="http://www.zeek.net/706tohu/">tikkun olam</a></em>). This includes advancing the cause of reason, opposing the many offenses and excesses (and the tax-free status) of religion. As we near the darkest point of the year, let us resolve that the darkness of religious ignorance go no further, that it begin to yield to the light, starting with this very day.</p>
<p>You might dedicate each of the eight candles to one of the humanistic virtues: love, courage, compassion, tolerance, reason, dignity, generosity, charity, and whatever personal quality one is working on that year.</p>
<p>Happy Hanukkah to one and all. Time is passing way too fast.</p>
<p>____________________</p>
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</div>Thankfulnesstag:atheistnexus.org,2013-11-27:2182797:BlogPost:23394192013-11-27T09:30:19.000ZČenek Sekavechttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/CenekSekavec
<p>Tis the season to be thankful. </p>
<p>As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday here in the United States I'd like to talk a bit about what I see as the two acts of thankfulness: being thankful concerning ones self, and being thankful towards another. I will attempt to make the case that both forms of thanks when properly expressed are essential habits in a humanist.</p>
<p>Somewhat as a preamble there is the topic of how the word 'thankful' has in a way been co-opted by Christians. I became…</p>
<p>Tis the season to be thankful. </p>
<p>As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday here in the United States I'd like to talk a bit about what I see as the two acts of thankfulness: being thankful concerning ones self, and being thankful towards another. I will attempt to make the case that both forms of thanks when properly expressed are essential habits in a humanist.</p>
<p>Somewhat as a preamble there is the topic of how the word 'thankful' has in a way been co-opted by Christians. I became aware that to those people with a religious background the words 'thankful' and 'grateful' have a distinct God overtone implicit in them. In my latter teen years I purposely avoided the terms because if I said I was thankful without stating to whom it was assumed that I was thankful to God. Instead I said "I am pleased" or "I am happy" despite this being inadequate in expressing my emotion. But to say a very long statement that left no room in it for assuming implicit thankfulness to God was burdensome and often would disrupt conversation flow. </p>
<p><strong>Moving into the topic of thankfulness toward another person's good fortune</strong> on 25 November 2004 I wrote in my journal:</p>
<p>"It seems to me that the expression of gratitude in any form except by deed is to risk insincerity."</p>
<p>Summarizing my writings further, people expressing thankfulness to God are at their core being fatalistic and aren't to be trusted. Likewise people who only verbally say they are thankful often (but not always) seem to be nonchalant using the guise of gratitude to hide their disregard or lack of empathy. But those who experienced true joy were illuminated by physical demonstration: a warm countenance, handshaking, a excited hug, involuntarily clapping their hands, a pat on the back. </p>
<p>I'm arguing in favor of disciplining the use of the word "thankful" for use only in the empathetic sense not the self serving partisan sense. To truly feel thankful of another's good fortune is to have empathy and feel joy. I would assert that to give lip service without empathy is insulting to the person referenced and so should have no place whatsoever in a rational person habits. Atheists - only say it if you <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">mean</span> <strong>feel</strong> it!</p>
<p>It is quite rational to feel joy at person's good fortune even when such good fortune affects you not at all. Three brief reasons are 1) empathy towards a person can often evoke reciprocation, 2) a person's success often means they are less likely to be a burden on you or society and in fact may be more able to provide charity to you or society, and 3) developing empathetic skills builds strong people that encourage healthy families and communities which may create a brighter future for humanity.</p>
<p>I will say without any equivocation that thankfulness in this way is one part of a complete empathy skill set and is immeasurably valuable because receiving empathy is the only emotional assurance we have that we as persons aren't alone. Sometime soon I'll write more on empathy (heck I should write a book!) but for now I'll let that statement stand on its own.</p>
<p><strong>Continuing on to self gratitude.</strong> Christian religion teaches adherents that any good occurrence is something to thank God for. In essence they externalize the credit for good consequences. In opposition, Christianity and society are very good at teaching us to be responsible for the consequences perceived as bad. </p>
<p>I've met quite a few people (including myself!) who are very uncomfortable receiving praise even when justly earned. These people might say "aw shucks it was just luck" or "I couldn't have done it without my team/family/community." To truly own your positive consequences would be to instead say "I really worked hard and I'm very pleased to see other people recognize me for my efforts. I deserve every good thing I have coming." Even today my knee-jerk response is that this seems arrogant.</p>
<p>Part of living a rational life means owning all the consequences of your actions. Even in a world of no free will recognizing self responsibility for acting is essential to encouraging a healthy self interest and by extension creating more actions that are beneficial to self and to society.</p>
<p>How many of us are emotionally barren when it comes to self recognizance and congratulation? <strong>I am.</strong> I have found immense difficulty in learning this skill. It isn't something that was taught to me by my parents and religion seems to directly obstruct it. Indeed, it seems to the benefit of religions and established institutions to impair people in this way because removing self-congratulation does not remove the basic human drive and need for approbation.</p>
<p>This turns a human into a dog, craving the external appreciation from a job that gives a button and $0.25 per hour raise. Craving the appreciation of a 'graduation' from 4th to 5th grade. Craving requitement from any source willing to give it - even if that source is harmful or dangerous: this runs the spectrum from gangs to abusive partners and beyond. These things are fake external social constructs that are used as a placebo replacing real self congratulation. </p>
<p>However, we have all met people who have developed or been taught the skill of self-congratulation. Often they are winners, alphas, leaders. But they are just as likely to be loners, shy, or radical. This is because unlike sycophantic people they do not require a group and are as comfortable being alone as they are being with people.</p>
<p>Healthy self gratitude means developing an internal dialogue such that your approval is your own reward when you behave positively. Easier said than done. But I suggest that the end goal is to have this skill grown to the point where you no longer ever desire external validation (to what extent that such an end is possible).</p>
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<p><strong>In conclusion,</strong> the definition of 'thankful' is to feel glad regarding a consequence. It is an essential aspect of both internal and external approbation. Sincere external thankfulness requires the development of empathy skills. Internal thankfulness is much harder to learn. Both are valuable skills of humanists because they encourage a self replicating system of good consequences creating more good consequences.</p>
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<p>I want to take this space to encourage everyone who has read this too lengthy treatise to adopt the secular tradition of my brothers and I: spend each Thanksgiving holiday in the pure expression of external thanks towards those who gather. Be sincere in building each other up and feeding that emotional hunger for appreciation until such a day that your internal skills are enough. Recognize, approve, distinguish, endorse, and praise every good thing. Help your family to learn internal thankfulness by giving real external gratitude. As a group take this holiday to recognize the difference. Exhort and teach the difference with purpose. Oh, was there turkey as part of this holiday? I forgot because it isn't important.</p>
<p></p>Happy New Year!tag:atheistnexus.org,2012-09-20:2182797:BlogPost:20571042012-09-20T03:37:18.000ZAlan Perlmanhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/AlanPerlman
<p><em>[Note: The following was written when I was an adherent of Humanistic Judaism. I have since left the movement and revised the post, but the basic ideas still apply.]</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increased noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation. Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and…</em></p>
<p><em>[Note: The following was written when I was an adherent of Humanistic Judaism. I have since left the movement and revised the post, but the basic ideas still apply.]</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>“Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increased noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation. Tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego.”</em></p>
<p>Jean Arp</p>
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<p>If you live anywhere in the Western, civilized world, you are aware that Jews worldwide are celebrating the New Year. </p>
<p>You’re probably also aware that it is 5700-something years since the creation of the world, that the Jewish New Year always comes in the fall (which is a much more natural time for most people), and that most Jews blow the shofar (ram’s horn) and read from the Torah (1st five books of the Bibe) at their services.</p>
<p>You are probably also aware that the New Year (which dates back to ancient Day of Judgment ceremonies) is a time of repentance, atonement and, for Jews who believe in God, a time of begging God for forgiveness and for a good year. This kind of thing is among the more degrading and distasteful of religious practices, in my opinion.</p>
<p>But lots of Jews are hard at it, hour after hour. In fact, the first thing I’ve learned this year (make that “re-learned”) is that people are very different when it comes to religion. </p>
<p><strong>Different strokes</strong></p>
<p>I was saying to a friend that some people don’t care what something says – in this case, the hypnotic <em>davening</em>, or chanting, at Rosh Hashanah services — as long as it sounds good. To my amazement, he informed me that he is one of those people. </p>
<p>This is a very bright guy, a doctor, a pilot. And yet he walks into a Jewish service and falls into some kind of primitive, nostalgic, I’m-at-the-right up-place-at-the-right-time kind of feeling (even told me that it made him feel good that Jews all over the world were doing the approximately the same thing), never bothering to look at the translation on the facing page, which, as every Humanist knows, tells you in your native tongue what the prayer is doing: thanking, imploring, begging, more thanking and praising, more begging and praising.</p>
<p>As Rabbi Adam Chalom pointed out in his Rosh Hashanah remarks, this kind of thing works with people, so why not try it on God?</p>
<p><strong>Sitting still for humiliation</strong></p>
<p>I wanted to scream at the person on the phone. How could any self-respecting person sit still for this kind of crap, hours of brown-nosing to nobody? But I was silent. </p>
<p>I’m sorry, but attending services because you like the chanting and it makes you feel good, regardless of what it actually says – how can I possibly respect this behavior? And that’s the difference between him and me. </p>
<p><strong>Fact vs. song</strong></p>
<p>To me, words have meaning and consequence. They refer to reality. Unless it’s a “song,” which I enjoy as a song — or as a play, a novel, a movie, or whatever narrative I am perceiving — but I know it’s not real, even if it has words and they say something. It’s not real. Just a story. Like the Torah.</p>
<p>If you like the chanting so much, why not just buy a CD and play it all the time at home? But no, it’s more a get-your-ticket-punched kind of thing. This is as deep as religion goes for this fellow. </p>
<p>And that’s because of another difference between me and him. Unlike the lives of most people, his has been totally free of any major illness, forced career change, accident, or in fact of any derailment or disruption of any kind. He leads what seems to be a charmed life. He doesn’t need religion for anything, certainly not for comfort, so he doesn’t have to do anything about it. </p>
<p><strong>Meaning what you say</strong></p>
<p>And that works for him. And that’s fine. But there’s some part of the concepts of “dignity” and “say what I mean; mean what I say” that he doesn’t understand.</p>
<p>After I explained the above to him, once, I was silent.</p>
<p><strong>Silence</strong></p>
<p>That’s what this year has been about for me: Silence. I know it may seem a little inconsistent to be posting stuff to my blog all the time, but this is really my only outlet. It’s public and private at the same time.</p>
<p>One can spend hours and hours reading about Rosh Hashanah and the High Holidays on the Internet alone. I’ll try to provide something different.</p>
<p><strong>High Holidays for Humanists</strong></p>
<p>The High Holidays are very important to humanists, also. We simply take God out of the picture. Forgiveness, atonement, repentance, restitution, resolution — these come from within us and from other people, or they don’t happen at all.</p>
<p>Plus, the High Holidays for humanists are a time of introspection and goal setting. Since they don’t involve God’s miraculous deliverance of the Jewish people, as with Hanukkah or Passover, the theological element is separated quite easily, and the High Holidays appeal to modern psychological sensibilities as well.</p>
<p>If there’s anything I have to add to the voluminous literature on the High Holidays, it would be the concept of focused practice. </p>
<p><strong>Focused practice</strong></p>
<p>Early on, I learned from Rabbi Wine that Humanism, like Zen, is really pretty simple; you practice a few ideals until you get them right. Even though they are very difficult and challenging and it may take a lifetime to get them right, at least attention and practice will help.</p>
<p>That is a concept I put into practice every New Year. I just finished a year of Silence. Everything is additive, though. I will add Silence to next year’s concept, and I’ve even started to be more quiet than in the previous year, when now I think that maybe, considering how far I have to go, all I was doing was considering Silence.</p>
<p>But no, I did make some progress:</p>
<p>–I tried very hard to keep my opinion-giving to a minimum and to speak only when spoken to or when I had something genuine to say; I studiously avoided counter-productive discussions and arguments.</p>
<p>–During the silences, I tried to learn from other people — from their behavior, from their knowledge and experience; one of my favorite sayings is that you can learn nothing while you’re talking.</p>
<p>–I also increased the silence of my environment, which is already pretty quiet; it gives me pleasure to do the exact opposite of hordes of people who are increasingly plugged in and incapable of silence — indeed, I would challenge any Generation Xer to a quiet-sitting-still contest and perhaps make my fortune that way.</p>
<p>–I try to work on inner silence; there’ll be more progress in the coming year.</p>
<p>–Finally, I tried to incorporate silence into my piano playing, being more elliptical and economical, not so prolix in the use of notes, trying to, as Dizzy Gillespie is to say, “play the rests.”</p>
<p>Over the years, I’ve worked through the basic Zen/Humanistic virtues, in one form or another, many times. One year it was a year of Detachment. When my wife got cancer, it was definitely a year of Healing — that’s all we could focus on. I tried a year of Not Knowing (the Concept of “Beginner’s Mind”) and acquired a lot more compassion for people who don’t believe as I do.</p>
<p><strong>Some progress is inevitable.</strong></p>
<p>So this is my New Year’s suggestion to you: focused practice. The rationale is that if you concentrate on one ideal for an entire year, some progress is practically inevitable. </p>
<p>What is it that you need in your life? What habit of mind, what strength of character do you need to develop in the year ahead? What is life asking of you?</p>
<p>Then boil it down to one word or phrase, with a subtitle. My Year of Not Knowing was subtitled “Beginner’s Mind.” Silence was subtitled “Outer and Inner.”</p>
<p>Then spend the year practicing that particular quality. Every day will offer a chance, I promise you. Because that’s life. </p>
<p>If you can, pull together some quotes to guide you. You can get these off the Internet or from books of quotations. I cut mine out and tape them to a page so that I can look at them a lot during the year. Coincidentally, the best one appeared right at the end of the year, and I put it at the top of this post. </p>
<p>So that is how Humanists make sure that they – not God — will write themselves down for a good year, to the extent that they can. Not by praying and begging, but by actually doing the work to improve their lives and those of others.</p>
<p><em>L’Shana tovah, everyone!</em> May it be a year of truth, reason, and peace.</p>Weird xTIAN holidays are a gigantic wastetag:atheistnexus.org,2011-12-05:2182797:BlogPost:17594252011-12-05T10:17:05.000ZMaciej Matiaszowskihttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/MaciejMatiaszowski
<p>Every year I have to waste many precious days attending xtian events like Christmas. It's a one big gigantic nonsense. It feels like I was wrong about something, but I'm not, so that's an absurd. Jean Paul Sartre said: "we are nothing and in action become conscious of that original nothingness". My Christmas tree should be labeled: "made of nothingness".</p>
<p>Every year I have to waste many precious days attending xtian events like Christmas. It's a one big gigantic nonsense. It feels like I was wrong about something, but I'm not, so that's an absurd. Jean Paul Sartre said: "we are nothing and in action become conscious of that original nothingness". My Christmas tree should be labeled: "made of nothingness".</p>Santa's not real, kids. Pray to God for your gifts!tag:atheistnexus.org,2011-10-01:2182797:BlogPost:16768032011-10-01T00:58:35.000ZTeagraveshttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/Teagraves
<p>We're a bit far from Christmas time, but somehow the Halloween thread reminded me of this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every Christmas, my family gathers at my grandmother's house to eat dinner and give gifts. Some of my cousins are a bit...umm...out there, you could say. One of them made a visit with her children, which was a little surprising, since I usually don't see her on Christmas (or any other time, for that matter). My dad has a way with kids, so of course he talked to my cousin's kids and…</p>
<p>We're a bit far from Christmas time, but somehow the Halloween thread reminded me of this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every Christmas, my family gathers at my grandmother's house to eat dinner and give gifts. Some of my cousins are a bit...umm...out there, you could say. One of them made a visit with her children, which was a little surprising, since I usually don't see her on Christmas (or any other time, for that matter). My dad has a way with kids, so of course he talked to my cousin's kids and asked them if Santa Claus visited their house during the night and what he brought for them. My cousin quickly told Dad that at her house, they don't do Santa Claus. Instead of writing a list to Santa, the kids will pray to God and tell him what they want for Christmas. On Christmas Eve, angels will come and deliver the presents that the kids prayed for. My dad told me later he thought she was being "fuddy-duddy."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I agree with my dad about fuddy-duddiness. I also have to wonder, though, what my cousin plans to do when the kids find out that the "angels" who deliver the presents are actually just their parents. I can see that they are trying to incorporate their religion into their household as much as possible (something that annoys me quite a bit, but that's another post), but I don't think they realize that trying to recreate the "childhood fantasy" thing with a Christian theme may backfire on them. Santa or the Easter Bunny not being real usually turns out to be no big deal. But using a character so crucial to their life - God?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Well, good luck cousin. Tee-hee :3 (I'm sure she'll have an excuse ready when the time comes, though, lol)</p>Reason and the Holiday Seasontag:atheistnexus.org,2011-05-28:2182797:BlogPost:12973792011-05-28T04:56:13.000ZJared Sloan Cowanhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/JaredSloanCowan
<a href="http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/30/dueling-billboards-face-off-in-christmas-controversy/">http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/30/dueling-billboards-face-off-in-christmas-controversy/</a><br />
<a href="http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-521921">http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-521921…</a>
<a href="http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/30/dueling-billboards-face-off-in-christmas-controversy/">http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/30/dueling-billboards-face-off-in-christmas-controversy/</a><br />
<a href="http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-521921">http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-521921</a><br />
<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20101202/ts_yblog_thelookout/atheists-slick-ad-campaigns-sometimes-meet-with-resistance">http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20101202/ts_yblog_thelookout/atheists-slick-ad-campaigns-sometimes-meet-with-resistance</a><br />
<br />
The holiday season’s coming around, and I mean every holiday. Christmas, or Xmas as prefer to call it, might be the most popular, but Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Chinese/Japanese/American New Year deserve consideration as well. I thought I’d return to blogging schedule with a billboard in New Jersey that many have taken offense to, for a variety of reasons, most of them confusing atheists with antitheists or anti-religionists. But American Atheists, as far as I can tell, even with Madalyn Murray O’Hair still leaving its reputation somewhat in tatters for especially curious people digging up dirt on atheism, is a reputable organization. They even spelled out their basic intent with the sign as threefold: “1) To address those atheists who “go along to get along”, and to encourage them to come out of their closets, 2) To attack the myth that Christianity owns the solstice season, and 3) To raise the awareness of the organization and the movement.” The third is not unlike what any group does, like Answers in Genesis told me in no certain terms by slapping their name on multiple billboards. Or the Catholic League in response to this particular billboard, asserting that Jesus is to be celebrated instead of reason.<br />
<br />
The American Humanist Association’s ad campaign still tops American Atheists’ billboard price, mostly because the latter is centered on a highway in the Northeast United States. Not to mention this one has more direction than just comparisons of misogyny and bigotry in Christian thought with humanist notions that are ironically shared by many Christians today, particularly Episcopalians on the ordination of women, causing a whole other scandal I won’t speak on. Criticizing people going along with the ancient fabrication that Jesus was born in the winter in Jerusalem is something I imagine many Christians, particularly those that disagree with Christians celebrating Christmas on scriptural and theological grounds, would find some agreement with. The latter part of the message advocating the celebration of reason is what would make people less than comfortable.<br />
<br />
The discomfort lies in people attempting to connect reason in any sense with their celebration of togetherness and family, which generally leans more towards the emotional and faith based aspects of life. I honestly liked the bus campaign two years ago calling to “Be good for goodness’ sake” in relation to the Santa Claus is Coming to Town carol better, but creativity can be tricky when you’re focusing on rhymes. It’s not as if people couldn’t celebrate Christmas in the sense we celebrate it now anyway; emphasizing the spirit of generosity and love, parts of this being emphasized in more religious carols I grew up with, but the overall message not really foreign to anyone. The notion that Christmas has to have an explicitly religious and faith based aspect to it seems to bring the holiday down. The warnings year after year around this time about a “war on Christmas” makes me remember the legal issues that have arisen over nativity scenes and a menorah sharing public space. There are Christmas holiday parallels around the world, such as the Festival of Lights in Hinduism, called Diwali, though technically it’s already long since finished. The Japanese celebration of Christmas is probably a better example to use, since the Japanese have such a minority Christian population, their use of “Merry Christmas” is more religiously neutral and doesn’t have any of the tone of some Christians in America who’d bite my face off if I referred to Christmas as Xmas. Even if I tried to calm them by noting that it’s an abbreviation, not a crossing out, of Jesus’ name, they’d be so incensed they’d still try to proverbially crucify me for my blasphemy. As I recall, the letter X was used historically for an abbreviation of Jesus’ name, at least the first letter of his name in Greek. It’s where we get the mnemonic device still somewhat popular today of IXOYE, using the first letters of the Greek words for “Jesus Christ God Son Savior” in that order.<br />
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I can’t say there’s a direct way to celebrate reason during Xmas, but I can see an advocacy of using reason in the context of approaching Christmas. Instead of seeing the reason for the season as a real historical event, we should focus more on Santa Claus, Frosty the Snowman and such to represent the aspects of the holiday season that coexist across the religious borders we arbitrarily create in such a time when there’s little opportunity for children to really learn about these different holidays as they’re celebrated. Children at my native church, much younger than me, had some exposure to other flavors of the Abrahamic faith and even a few non Christian faiths, but I fear that their learning about it was more in the sense of the cultural practice and not seeing them as belief systems people held to. It’s that kind of sheltering of kids from inquiry and skepticism about such things like Christmas or Easter being celebrated in ways different from your parents that drives families apart as the children grow out of it or reluctantly conform so as not to confront those issues in a reasonable and respectful fashion.<br />
<br />
I probably won’t emphasize the Christian elements of Christmas with my children, though I will tell them about it for basic education’s sake. We might even lean more towards the “pagan” Winter Solstice celebration that emphasizes the use of things like the Yule Log and other more ancient European practices. Or just incorporate practices give a similar sense of togetherness, like the practice in Japan of giving Christmas cakes. In any case, it’s not as if someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas with any real connection to supernatural events is being hateful towards the holiday. Just pointing out that Jesus was historically not born on the 25th of December is hardly cause for offense, since, when you think about it, he would’ve frozen to death and with some research, you see a correlation of dates showing that the tradition was more than likely associated with Saturnalia in Rome instead of any genuine date of birth of Yeshua. And I should emphasize again that there are Christians that share many of the sentiments of this billboard ironically. So, nearly a month still from Christmas Eve, I wish everyone happy holidays and good fortune for the New Year as well, so I don’t forget in the future. Until next time, Namaste and aloha.Coming out to Momtag:atheistnexus.org,2011-01-11:2182797:BlogPost:10776272011-01-11T23:56:57.000ZJessica Lenehanhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/JessicaLenehan
I came out to my mother on Christmas. It wasn't planned that way, she simply sat next to me at dinner. I thought I'd be safe at the kid's table. But the number of kids has been slowly dwindling over recent years, as they grow up and move off to the eagerly awaited table of "grown-ups". I saw this opportunity to return to the safety of the kid's table and quickly set my can of Dr. Pepper to claim my spot.<br />
I was more than a little surprised to see my mother sitting next to me when I returned with…
I came out to my mother on Christmas. It wasn't planned that way, she simply sat next to me at dinner. I thought I'd be safe at the kid's table. But the number of kids has been slowly dwindling over recent years, as they grow up and move off to the eagerly awaited table of "grown-ups". I saw this opportunity to return to the safety of the kid's table and quickly set my can of Dr. Pepper to claim my spot.<br />
I was more than a little surprised to see my mother sitting next to me when I returned with my plate, after seeing that my own two young-in's were served and seated. It was an incredible meal. I do love my prime rib and mashed potatoes. Fresh Parker rolls, steamed broccoli with lemon-Dijon-butter sauce, and the gravy was for the potatoes, not the meat. It didn't need it. It was just that fabulous. And now I'm hungry just thinking about it.<br />
We kept to small talk as we shoveled the food in. But eventually we ran out of food on our plates and pleasantries , and I delved into more meaningful conversation.<br />
I wanted to share my newest passion, this incredibly freeing understanding of the world around me. The realization that I am free from that god I grew up fearing. The all-knowing mind-reader who had a special plan for me. Creepy guy in the sky. Of course I wanted to share this important realization with my mom. While we haven't been very close lately, I still love my mom. And while there are other meaningful topics I could have engaged in... okay, maybe one other topic. But I don't want to talk about my health. I want to share something important to me. I was literally bursting at the seams to share my news.<br />
And so I did. I told her that I had recently decided that I was no longer agnostic, but that I'm atheist. And not only that, I tried to explain that I have concerns about religion that may make it difficult to just sit back and let others believe in something that could be potentially harmful. I went on to explain that I feel like a young atheist because I don't yet have the words to explain how I feel about it. I don't yet feel armed with the arguments to express how I feel about religion. I feel that I need to learn the verbiage, understand better the concepts and concerns, so I can communicate my passion with others.<br />
And I would think that any mother would want that for their child... to feel passionately about something that they can share with the world. I know that as a mother myself.Even Atheists get the Holiday Blues.tag:atheistnexus.org,2009-12-20:2182797:BlogPost:6556812009-12-20T01:48:49.000ZJo Jeromehttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/MaryWood
Even when I was growing up Christian I always thought, "It's just a day." Sure, it's a convenient time to schedule vacations since most people get the day off and the airlines are running specials. But otherwise, I could have a family get together any other random time of the year and enjoy it just as much.<br />
<br />
Now that Christmas really has no meaning for this Atheist, why get the holiday blues?<br />
<br />
Partly because this is also when so many other people are going on and on about their own warm and…
Even when I was growing up Christian I always thought, "It's just a day." Sure, it's a convenient time to schedule vacations since most people get the day off and the airlines are running specials. But otherwise, I could have a family get together any other random time of the year and enjoy it just as much.<br />
<br />
Now that Christmas really has no meaning for this Atheist, why get the holiday blues?<br />
<br />
Partly because this is also when so many other people are going on and on about their own warm and fuzzy family get togethers, fabulous present-exchanging and elaborate home cooked meals and desserts. I could care less about getting presents but feel a little bad that I can't really afford to give any. A home cooked meal sounds fabulous but A) no cooking facilities in my quasi-homeless existence and B) a spread out family I largely don't get to see on the holidays. Which leads into the being surrounded by people all warm-and-fuzzy about their family get togethers bit when I'm, well, not.<br />
<br />
Most all of my family is way too far away, and over the years others have become far more dysfunctional than I remember in my childhood. Mostly I just kind of miss having a more functional family.<br />
<br />
And then there's the being single. Pathetically single. *Sigh.* Put that song by The Waitresses, "Christmas Rapping," on repeat and wallow in the shallow end of my pity pool that I'm just like the protagonist in the song only without the guy at the end.<br />
<br />
That's just normal Holiday Blues, but I have to admit the religious overtones really do have an impact now more than ever.<br />
<br />
See, when I was a Christian, Christmas was just a day. We're supposed to love Jesus all the time, so I never really had the inspiration to love Jesus extra-super-more on December 25th. But now that I'm an Atheist?<br />
<br />
Now is the time of year for Christians to really bask in their own ignorance and xenophobia. I really want to say something about the offensiveness of it all, but that makes me a Scrooge. So I do a lot of tongue-biting. I answer "Merry Christmas!" with "Io Saturnalia!" and mostly just get an odd look instead of any kind of intelligent conversation where I get to enlighten them on the true origins of Christmas.<br />
<br />
Inevitably, I will run out of something critical on Christmas day when all the stores are closed.<br />
<br />
And especially as I am quasi-homeless again this year, where will I go on the 25th to plug in my laptop? I'm getting solar soon so that won't be an issue, but I won't have it by Christmas day.<br />
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So what does Christmas mean to me? It means the inconvenience of closed stores, having my nose rubbed into my singleness and lack of nearby functional family, and it means more painful reminders than ever that I live in a world ruled by mythological sky-gods.<br />
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*Grumble*Grumble*Grumble*<br />
<br />
Better make sure I've got a good stack of books lined up for that day's entertainment. The Collected Works of Edgar Allen Poe is on the top of that stack.Is it possible to start an atheist church?tag:atheistnexus.org,2009-12-06:2182797:BlogPost:6346922009-12-06T07:59:00.000ZStump Parrishhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/StumpParrish
Is it possible to start and run a chain of tax free atheist churchs?<br />
<br />
This is something I have wondered about since i jokingly mentioned it in a Stroller Comment in my papers editorial section. <a href="http://www.goupstate.com/stroller">www.goupstate.com/stroller</a> I believe a I asked anyone interested to contact father Stump @ the paper. I would like to 1. get some serious answers to this question and 2. have some fun designing our chuch and deciding on our traditions and holidays.<br />
<br />
<br />
I…
Is it possible to start and run a chain of tax free atheist churchs?<br />
<br />
This is something I have wondered about since i jokingly mentioned it in a Stroller Comment in my papers editorial section. <a href="http://www.goupstate.com/stroller">www.goupstate.com/stroller</a> I believe a I asked anyone interested to contact father Stump @ the paper. I would like to 1. get some serious answers to this question and 2. have some fun designing our chuch and deciding on our traditions and holidays.<br />
<br />
<br />
I Stump Parrish do nominate for consideration as a holiday...Richard Dawkins Day...The day of the year we celarate this will be of his choosing. I offer for consideration his birthday...seems to be a tradition so far with religious icons right? hehe<br />
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Who else has a suggestion?Festivus Contesttag:atheistnexus.org,2008-12-23:2182797:BlogPost:1743622008-12-23T19:30:00.000ZKate Holdenhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/KateHolden
Enter my blog's Festivus Contest and win a t-shirt! All you have to do is <a href="http://cuddlyatheism.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/festivus-post-your-feats-of-strength/">post your greatest feat of strength</a> and if it is decided your feat of strength out-does the other contestants' you could win a shirt with 'Made of Star Stuff' across the chest! As for my feat of strength? I can drink two martinis at the same time using only two hands!<br />
<br />
…<p style="text-align:left"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3289/3131692640_efbbf701a7.jpg"></img></p>
Enter my blog's Festivus Contest and win a t-shirt! All you have to do is <a href="http://cuddlyatheism.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/festivus-post-your-feats-of-strength/">post your greatest feat of strength</a> and if it is decided your feat of strength out-does the other contestants' you could win a shirt with 'Made of Star Stuff' across the chest! As for my feat of strength? I can drink two martinis at the same time using only two hands!<br />
<br />
<p style="text-align:left"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3289/3131692640_efbbf701a7.jpg"/></p>
<br />
<a href="http://cuddlyatheism.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/festivus-post-your-feats-of-strength/">Enter and win!</a>Winter Solstice & the "War on Christmas"tag:atheistnexus.org,2008-12-20:2182797:BlogPost:1706942008-12-20T02:27:01.000ZAaronhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/Aaron12
<em>Originally posted on my <a href="http://blog.amhill.net">personal blag</a>, re-posted here.</em><hr></hr><img align="right" alt="" height="400" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3150/3108774163_2a23c99c8b.jpg?v=0" title="Xmas 2008" width="300"></img>
We are all very excited about the upcoming holidays. Our presents are packed (and most of them shipped / delivered), the tree and lights are up and decorated, we've made cookies, and we've dove headfirst into the Winter Season media: The Grinch, Bing Crosby, Ultra Lounge, Muppet Christmas, etc.<br />
<br />
The thing is, although all of this looks like the holiday we commonly refer to as…
<em>Originally posted on my <a href="http://blog.amhill.net">personal blag</a>, re-posted here.</em><hr/><img align="right" title="Xmas 2008" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3150/3108774163_2a23c99c8b.jpg?v=0" alt="" width="300" height="400"/>
<br />
We are all very excited about the upcoming holidays. Our presents are packed (and most of them shipped / delivered), the tree and lights are up and decorated, we've made cookies, and we've dove headfirst into the Winter Season media: The Grinch, Bing Crosby, Ultra Lounge, Muppet Christmas, etc.<br />
<br />
The thing is, although all of this looks like the holiday we commonly refer to as "Christmas", it's really not. Our family celebrates the Winter Solstice - the astronomical event occurring between the 20th and 25th each year, where the Sun is at its lowest azimuth and the day is the shortest.<br />
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Historically speaking, people have been celebrating Solstice for CENTURIES (I would even venture to say "millenia"), and many of the traditions that we all know and love (tree, gifts, Santa, etc.) all have secular / pagan origins. But what bugs me is this whole "War on Christmas" thing that's all the rage in the media right now. It's just plain silly, and it's mountains from molehills. I want to discuss two topics here: Why the "War on Christmas" is ridiculous, and why (and "how") we celebrate Winter Solstice.<br />
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<h4>The (silly) War on Christmas</h4>
When you say "Happy Birthday" to someone, it's generally because they are celebrating their birthday and you are wishing them well. Or "Happy Retirement", or "Happy Graduation". The recipient of the wishes is the person doing the celebrating, right?<br />
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Similarly, if someone was celebrating Hanukkah, I would wish them "Happy Hanukkah!", and for my friends and family that celebrate Christmas, I wish them "Merry Christmas!" -- Not because I celebrate either, but because I want to wish them well on the holiday that they celebrate. When someone wishes me "Merry Christmas", I generally know what they mean, and I just smile and say thanks. If it's someone I know well, and it's germane, I may explain how we celebrate the holidays, but otherwise, I don't get wrapped up in it.<br />
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However - I do find it rather arrogant that <a title="Bill O'Reilly" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y17pyVzHhM">some people</a> and <a title="Xenophobic Fundamentalist Groups" href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-12-09/who-started-the-war-on-christmas">groups</a> believe that it is somehow <strong>wrong</strong> that the government wishes "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas." The celebration of "Christmas" (or another such winter holiday) in the context of the government, is entirely secularized (if it weren't, it would be a violation of the establishment clause).<br />
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While the majority of Americans may be people of the Christian faith (<a title="Pew Report on Religion" href="http://religions.pewforum.org/reports">78.4%, according to a 2008 Pew report on religion</a>, sample size 35,000), there are still 4.7% that are other faiths (including Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, and other minority faiths), and a whopping 16.1% that are "unaffiliated" with any faith at all (including, but not limited to: Atheists, Agnostics, and both Secular unaffiliated and Religious unaffiliated). Considering that America is home to approximately 300 million people, that's ~6,240,000 people that don't celebrate Christmas (that's approximately equivalent to the entire population of Indiana, according <a href="http://www.census.gov/popest/states/NST-ann-est.html">to Census data</a>).<br />
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The current practice by public sector organizations (government and government-affiliated groups) is to say "Happy Holidays", and I think that's just dandy. It's generic, but still carries a positive message. America is a wonderful country BECAUSE we have freedom of religion, and BECAUSE we are a "melting pot" of culture - it is our heterogeneity that makes us such a rich nation, unlike any other. Why would anyone want to reject that just so their own culture takes center stage? Isn't that the very definition of arrogance?<br />
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If you celebrate Christmas, I will wish you Merry Christmas, if you celebrate Hanukkah, I'll wish you Happy Hanukkah, etc. Whatever you celebrate, I will wish you good tidings for it, because we can all celebrate TOGETHER even if we are not celebrating the same thing.<br />
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The last weeks of December are not a monopoly of any one faith or group - we all have our own ways to celebrate them, and whether we realize it or not, we have all inherited traditions from the "old ways." Which segues nicely into my next topic...<br />
<br />
<h4>Our Solstice Celebration</h4>
Just years before, we're celebrating Winter Solstice this year. Winter Solstice has traditionally been a point of celebration because in agrarian cultures, it generally meant the "turn of the season", when the Sun would make its triumphant slow return to prominence in the sky. Even though Solstice technically marks the "beginning" of Winter, it is also the "end" of the day-shortening and therefore the "beginning" of day-lengthening.<br />
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<img align="left" title="Odin Riding Slepinir" src="http://blog.amhill.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/odin_riding_sleipnir-232x300.jpg" alt="Odin riding Slepinir" width="232" height="300"/><br />
It's the shortest day of the year, which often also makes it the coldest. Very old cultures would have festivals of lights to both celebrate that darkest day and symbolically encourage the Sun to return. The "Yule Log" tradition was borne from this, as well. Our house doesn't have a fireplace, but we may light some candles and have our festive lights turned on.<br />
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We give gifts, as in the long tradition of Saturnalia, to commemorate the occasion. I've always enjoyed wrapping presents, picking out presents for people, and the joy of seeing them open them. (I love to receive presents too, of course, and if you're so inclined, please refer to my Amazon Widget over there on the right ;) ). There's just something really fun about playing festive music, wrist-deep in wrapping paper, and coming up with creative ways to pack a mundane object so the person can't quite figure out what it is (I'm notorious for my deceptive packaging techniques).<br />
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When I was younger, we used to always lay stockings out for Santa to fill. I found out recently that the tradition has Norse roots; Children would lay out their shoes filled with fruit and foodstuffs for Odin's horse, Slepinir, to eat while passing by. I'm not sure exactly how THAT became "get goodies in stockings", but perhaps it was when "Santa" would leave behind little trinkets and tchotchkes as a "thank you" for Slepinir's sustenance.<br />
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We do gift exchanges and family gatherings on the same day as Christmas simply because it is just easiest to do it that way, what with my job and our family's vacation time and all that. I don't mind making that concession; although we may have a special dinner or something on the night of the Solstice, we'll reserve the gift giving until the 25th, just like we always used to do when I was growing up.<br />
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An idea that Melissa had that I think is terrific is for all of us to reflect on the memories of the past year that we have enjoyed the most. Holidays and traditions are important because they help to delineate points in the passage of time, and give us a chance to pause and reflect on our lives and our families. It's easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of day-to-day mundanities, and holidays give us a break from that, even if just for a brief while. I really like her idea because it helps us get closure on the year that has passed, and we can, for a brief moment, re-live the memories that were most dear to us.<br />
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So to all my readers, Happy Holidays!Santa Claus -- The Ultimate Dry Runtag:atheistnexus.org,2008-12-16:2182797:BlogPost:1664292008-12-16T17:00:14.000ZDale McGowanhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/DaleMcGowan
By Dale McGowan<br />
Excerpted from <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0814474268/ref=nosim/?tag=parebeyobeli-20">Parenting Beyond Belief</a></em><br />
<br />
<em>One of the questions that came up in the Austin Q&amp;A was the Santa thing -- and it's so clearly in the air, from <a href="http://friendlyatheist.com/6819/how-much-santa-is-too-much/">Friendly Atheist</a> to <a href="http://www.rationalmoms.com/2008/12/05/the-santa-thing/">Rational Moms</a>, that I can't even wait 'til Wednesday to chime in,…</em>
By Dale McGowan<br />
Excerpted from <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0814474268/ref=nosim/?tag=parebeyobeli-20">Parenting Beyond Belief</a></em><br />
<br />
<em>One of the questions that came up in the Austin Q&amp;A was the Santa thing -- and it's so clearly in the air, from <a href="http://friendlyatheist.com/6819/how-much-santa-is-too-much/">Friendly Atheist</a> to <a href="http://www.rationalmoms.com/2008/12/05/the-santa-thing/">Rational Moms</a>, that I can't even wait 'til Wednesday to chime in, because oh do I have an opinion. I threw in my two bits on pp. 87-90 of <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0814474268/ref=nosim/?tag=parebeyobeli-20">Parenting Beyond Belief</a>,</em> which I now offer virtually in the space below.</em><br />
<hr/>
<img src="http://www.parentingbeyondbelief.com/images/santa.bmp" class="left" alt="santa32076"/><img src="http://www.parentingbeyondbelief.com/images/I.gif" class="left" alt="I4339"/><strong>T'S HARD TO</strong> even consider the possibility that Santa isn’t real. Everyone seems to believe he is. As a kid, I heard his name in songs and stories and saw him in movies with very high production values. My mom and dad seemed to believe, batted down my doubts, told me he wanted me to be good and that he always knew if I wasn’t. And what wonderful gifts I received! Except when they were crappy, which I always figured was my fault somehow. All in all, despite the multiple incredible improbabilities involved in believing he was real, I believed – until the day I decided I cared enough about the truth to ask serious questions, at which point the whole façade fell to pieces. Fortunately the good things I had credited him with kept coming, but now I knew they came from the people around me, whom I could now properly thank.<br />
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Now go back and read that paragraph again, changing the ninth word from <em>Santa</em> to <em>God.</em><br />
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Santa Claus, my secular friends, is the greatest gift a rational worldview ever had. Our culture has constructed a silly and temporary myth parallel to its silly and permanent one. They share a striking number of characteristics, yet the one is cast aside halfway through childhood. And a good thing, too: A middle-aged father looking mournfully up the chimbly along with his sobbing children on yet another giftless Christmas morning would be a sure candidate for a very soft room. <em>This</em> culturally pervasive myth is <em>meant</em> to be figured out, designed with an expiration date, after which consumption is universally frowned upon.<br />
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I’ll admit to having stumbled backward into the issue as a parent. My wife and I defaulted into raising our kids with the same myth we’d been raised in (I know, I know), considering it ever-so-harmless and fun. Neither of us had experienced the least trauma as kids when the jig was up. To the contrary: we both recall the heady feeling of at last being in on the secret to which so many others, including our younger siblings, were still oblivious. Ahh, the sweet, smug smell of superiority.<br />
<br />
But as our son Connor began to exhibit the incipient inklings of Kringledoubt, it occurred to me that something powerful was going on. I began to see the Santa paradigm as an unmissable opportunity – the ultimate dry run for a developing inquiring mind.<br />
<br />
My boy was eight years old when he started in with the classic interrogation: <em>How does Santa get to all those houses in one night? How does he get in when we don’t have a chimney and all the windows are locked and the alarm system is on? Why does he use the same wrapping paper as Mom? All those cookies in one night – his LDL cholesterol must be through the roof!</em><br />
<br />
This is the moment, at the threshold of the question, that the natural inquiry of a child can be primed or choked off. With questions of belief, you have three choices: feed the child a confirmation, feed the child a disconfirmation – or teach the child to fish.<br />
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The “Yes, Virginia” crowd will heap implausible nonsense on the poor child, dismissing her doubts with invocations of magic or mystery or the willful suspension of physical law. Only slightly less problematic is the second choice, the debunker who simply informs the child that, yes, Santa is a big fat fraud.<br />
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“Gee,” the child can say to either of them. “Thanks. I’ll let you know if I need any more authoritative pronouncements.”<br />
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I for one chose door number three.<br />
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“Some people believe the sleigh is magic,” I said. “Does that sound right to you?” Initially, boy howdy, did it ever. He wanted to believe, and so was willing to swallow any explanation, no matter how implausible or how tentatively offered. “Some people say it isn’t <em>literally</em> a single night,” I once said, naughtily priming the pump for later inquiries. But little by little, the questions got tougher, and he started to answer that second part – <em>Does that sound right to you?</em> – a bit more agnostically.<br />
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I avoided both lying and setting myself up as a godlike authority, determined as I was to let him sort this one out himself. And when at last, at the age of nine, in the snowy parking lot of the Target store, to the sound of a Salvation Army bellringer, he asked me point blank if Santa was real – I demurred, just a bit, one last time.<br />
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“What do you think?” I said.<br />
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“Well…I think all the moms and dads are Santa.” He smiled at me. “Am I right?”<br />
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I smiled back. It was the first time he’d asked me directly, and I told him he was right.<br />
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“So,” I asked, “how do you feel about that?”<br />
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He shrugged. “That’s fine. Actually, it’s good. The world kind of… I don’t know…makes <em>sense</em> again.”<br />
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That’s my boy. He wasn’t betrayed, he wasn’t angry, he wasn’t bereft of hope. He was <em>relieved.</em> It reminded me of the feeling I had when at last I realized God was fictional. The world actually made <em>sense</em> again.<br />
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And when Connor started asking skeptical questions about God, I didn’t debunk it for him by fiat. I told him what various people believe and asked if that sounded right to him. It all rang a bell, of course. He’d been through the ultimate dry run.<br />
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By allowing our children to participate in the Santa myth and find their <em>own</em> way out of it through skeptical inquiry, we give them a priceless opportunity to see a mass cultural illusion first from the inside, then from the outside. A very casual line of post-Santa questioning can lead kids to recognize how completely we all can snow ourselves if the enticements are attractive enough. Such a lesson, viewed from the top of the hill after exiting a belief system under their own power, can gird kids against the best efforts of the evangelists – and far better than secondhand knowledge could ever hope to do.<br />
_______________________<br />
<a href="http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=174">A related post from Krismas 2007</a><br />
For Tom Flynn's counterpoint to this position, see pp. 85-87 of <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0814474268/ref=nosim/?tag=parebeyobeli-20">Parenting Beyond Belief.</a></em>Happy Holidays!tag:atheistnexus.org,2008-12-03:2182797:BlogPost:1552002008-12-03T23:15:49.000Zdeletedsoulhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/deletedsoul
I posted this on my site recently, and I thought I would share this here and maybe see what the community might be able to add.<br />
<br />
With the approach of the holiday season, I’m already hearing the “Keep Christ in Christmas” mantra and the indignant outcries that the big name retail chains are sullying the season by wishing patrons a “Happy Holiday” rather than “Merry Christmas”.<br />
<br />
It’s my thought that people should really just get over this, both in the battle for keeping “Christ in Christmas” and…
I posted this on my site recently, and I thought I would share this here and maybe see what the community might be able to add.<br />
<br />
With the approach of the holiday season, I’m already hearing the “Keep Christ in Christmas” mantra and the indignant outcries that the big name retail chains are sullying the season by wishing patrons a “Happy Holiday” rather than “Merry Christmas”.<br />
<br />
It’s my thought that people should really just get over this, both in the battle for keeping “Christ in Christmas” and the overall idea that Christianity is being banished from popular culture. Looking back through history, it is quite clear that the origin of Christmas was not Christ at all!<br />
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Yes, some retail chains have moved from saying “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays” to be more inclusive of their patrons, especially in the more urban areas. Rather than thinking that this is a horrible thing that marks the downfall of the country, I feel that it is a positive indication of how diverse this country is, and has been throughout history.<br />
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As President-Elect Obama stated in a speech a couple years back:<br />
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<i>"Whatever we once were, we are no longer a Christian nation – at least, not just. We are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, and a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers."</i><br />
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I do not feel that we should exclude people based on their beliefs. Accordingly, I do not feel that those who hold beliefs should exclude those who do not share those beliefs, or use invasive measures to force others to participate or actively observe their ideas, beliefs or practices. This is the nature of our freedom of religion - the right to freedom from religion. Those who say “Happy Holidays” aren’t excluding the ones with Christian beliefs, but rather, are attempting to include those who might not share those beliefs.<br />
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Here is my recommendation: When someone, either at a store or elsewhere, wishes you a Happy Holiday this season, simply smile and nod, and remember within yourself what that means to you. It could mean your Merry Christmas, or Happy Hanukkah, or perhaps even a Joyful Kwanzaa. Maybe, as for me, it has no religious connotation at all, but is simply a time to share with your family.<br />
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Regardless of its meaning for you, I would like to wish everyone a very Happy Holiday Season!<br />
<br />
-deletedSoulI'm back and dancing on the Yuletag:atheistnexus.org,2008-11-28:2182797:BlogPost:1497722008-11-28T02:23:52.000ZAtheistJoyhttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/Joy58
I've been inactive for a bit. Atheism sort of took a back seat for a bit. I did some political stuff, tried to keep up with life, etc. Things have quieted down now.<br />
<br />
I decorated for the holidays. I love Christmas. For me it has nothing to do with religion, naturally. It's more of a beginning as the days start getting longer again. It's the light returning and the chance to get things right. It's happiness and light, feasting and drinking. My house is always decorated with plenty of lights and…
I've been inactive for a bit. Atheism sort of took a back seat for a bit. I did some political stuff, tried to keep up with life, etc. Things have quieted down now.<br />
<br />
I decorated for the holidays. I love Christmas. For me it has nothing to do with religion, naturally. It's more of a beginning as the days start getting longer again. It's the light returning and the chance to get things right. It's happiness and light, feasting and drinking. My house is always decorated with plenty of lights and lots of holly and ivy. We have a fake tree now, but it's shiny and pretty with plenty of suns, moons, icicles, snowflakes, and colorful decorations of all kinds.<br />
<br />
But, of course the Christians just had to stick their silly baby in there and co-opt a happy occasion to their dread death cult. It's sort of amazing that they couldn't keep out the primitive happiness we feel at the sun returning to us. They couldn't keep away all the mistletoe and wreaths that dress up the yule. They feel the need to tell little lies about it. The red berries symbolize the blood of Jesus and the white his purity? Now who really believes that? Oh. Never mind.It's Hard to Be an Atheist on Christmastag:atheistnexus.org,2007-12-14:2182797:BlogPost:387692007-12-14T18:30:00.000ZJim Crafthttp://atheistnexus.org/profile/happinessiseasy
<b>This post was imported from Livejournal on 2008.07.18</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://atheism.about.com/od/christmasholidayseason/p/AtheistsIgnore.htm">Atheism and Christmas: Should Atheists Ignore Christmas or Celebrate It?</a><br />
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This was a good read. It's inspired me to write about my own personal experience with this. I've been struggling with this a lot in the past 4-5 years.<br />
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My family is religious, but not overly so. Methodism is one of most liberal denominations of Protestantism. One thing that…
<b>This post was imported from Livejournal on 2008.07.18</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://atheism.about.com/od/christmasholidayseason/p/AtheistsIgnore.htm">Atheism and Christmas: Should Atheists Ignore Christmas or Celebrate It?</a><br />
<br />
This was a good read. It's inspired me to write about my own personal experience with this. I've been struggling with this a lot in the past 4-5 years.<br />
<br />
My family is religious, but not overly so. Methodism is one of most liberal denominations of Protestantism. One thing that was always very important to my mother is that we go to the Christmas Eve service at her church. Most of my life I went to this. When I was a Christian, I even enjoyed it. But one time, I believe it was December 2003, when everyone was getting ready to go, I didn't get dressed.<br />
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After everyone had gotten into the car, Megan, who was not my wife at the time, but was living with and taking care of my grandmother in town, came to get me. I was lying on the couch, trying to figure out what to say. I told her I wasn't going, and that I couldn't. She said "Go for your mom." I said I still just couldn't. I told her to stay here with me. She looked at me, can't remember if she said anything else, but left for the car.<br />
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I don't know what happened next, but I assume Megan told my family "He's not coming." My mom called out my name and I came to the door, not dressed. She said "Come on!" and I said "I'm not going." She said "Jim, come on, please. For me."<br />
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I just stood there, torn between two opposite forces. I didn't want to upset my mother, my family, my girlfriend, who I'm sure was mortified beyond belief. But at the same time, I had already revealed my non-belief with my parents and family. I didn't make a big show of it, but they all knew that I didn't go to church, I had a problem with religion, and that I didn't call myself a Christian anymore. Even then I didn't know whether I was atheist, agnostic, deist, or what. But I don't think they grasped the gravity of what that meant until that moment.<br />
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And in that moment, I'm sure I know everything that was going through each of their heads:<br />
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My mother was sad, scared, disappointed in me, and maybe a bit angry at my stubborn insolence.<br />
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My father was angry that I was upsetting my mother. He knew how sad that was going to make her and he probably knew she would be crying on his shoulder later that night. He was thinking about how immature I was not to put my mother's feelings before my own "selfishness."<br />
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My brother Lee was probably a little confused and annoyed. He was probably thinking "Great. We're gonna be late. I'm gonna miss the Prelude." He's a musician.<br />
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My other brother Joe was probably thinking "There goes Jim, starving for attention again." I don't honestly know what Joe calls himself these days. His wife was raised Seventh-Day Adventist, but I don't know if they attend any church services. I know that he has never particularly enjoyed going to Christmas Eve service, but he does.<br />
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And my girlfriend, who I loved, was probably thinking "Please, just get in the car. Don't make this any more awkward for me than it already is.." She doesn't feel as strongly as I feel about things like this. She isn't a Christian, but she doesn't really call herself anything, because it's just irrelevant to her life. (As a side note, a strong atheist being married to someone like that is almost as different as a moderate Christian being married to an evangelical one. The respect for each other's beliefs, most of them being the same, is there, but certain specific views are quite far apart.)<br />
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As I looked from face to face, I could feel each and every one of those emotions that they were feeling. I looked at my mother again, and said "I'm not going." I don't remember what happened after that, but she said something along the lines of "Fine" and my dad pulled out of the garage. The last thing I heard was the garage door closing as I walked back through the kitchen.<br />
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I went and laid down on the couch and cried. Part of me was missing the tradition, the family unity, the singing, the just plain magical spirit of the activity. But another part of me told me that that magic was gone forever. It had been tarnished by what Christianity now meant to me. It might've been at that moment that I fully realized the draw that church has for so many non-religious people. A place to go to socialize, to sing music, to discuss morality and philosophy with other like-minded people, to receive a hopeful message to help start your week.<br />
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I had gotten over most of that. I hadn't been to church in months at the time. I drew inspiration from other sources. I socialized with friends. I sang and played music with my band. Most of it wasn't irreplaceable. What I wasn't over was the tradition that only comes once a year, that I just hadn't thought of until the day drew closer, and the dread started creeping in. But now that I had made my decision, I stuck by it. When they got back, we had coffee and listened to music. I rejoined them as part of the family. I participated in the gift-giving, the decorating of the tree (for one of the final years my parents had a tree), even holding their hands during their pre-dinner blessings.<br />
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Looking back now, while it may not have been the best way to make the point, I think I needed to make it. Every year since then, when we're in town for Christmas, I go home, and I spend time with my family, and when it comes time to go to the service, I just don't go. No one questions it, they don't ask me about it, it's just something that no one talks about. I can see, years from now, when my brothers have children, Lee and Joe, with an inquisitive child or two: "Why doesn't Jim come to church with us?" "That's just something Uncle Jim doesn't do." "Oh.."<br />
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As the years have gone by, I've been faced with many choices about what to celebrate and not to celebrate. I've probably made some good decisions, and some bad decisions. And there will be more decisions to be made. Someday, Megan and I will have children. My mom will undoubtedly want to bring them to church. My views and Megan's views will undoubtedly change slightly, maybe even drastically by then. What decision will I make? What decision will she make? And if they're different, what compromise will we be able to come to?<br />
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These are difficult questions, but someday, whether I like it or not, I'll have to answer them.