Even though many of the examples above involve another person, at the very root of each is a personal fear: If you speak the truth and reveal who you truly are and what you believe and stand for… what then?

The bigger question is — what happens if you don’t speak up? If you choose not to be honest?

When you don’t speak up you are letting yourself down. You are denying that you — who you are and what you stand for — matter.

By not speaking, you are tacitly allowing others to say they are more important than you.

We have to start by being honest with the first link of integrity (our thoughts) to be able to carry it through to our words and actions. Get to the bottom of your fear and you’ll find it much easier to speak up.

At times, however, it will undoubtedly still be difficult to find the right words and the right way to say them.

So here is a guide to help make it easier:

1. Be honest AND be kind!

2. Stay positive.

3. This isn’t a war you’re waging.

You are living a life of integrity so do it with style, not rancor.

4. Be non-judgmental.

You have a legitimate stance and are honoring it — just as you are honoring the other person by allowing them to have their point of view. We all have our way to get through this world.

Live yours fully and allow others room to live theirs. Remember that your opinion is just that: your own.

Own it totally, and accept that it is only your opinion. Everyone else has their own right.

5. Own your words and only yours.

Don’t parrot or take on anyone else’s. We can only be accountable for ourselves, so say what you have to say and let it go.

6. Only speak up if you are providing value — to yourself in some way or to the listener.

What is “value”? Would you, or the other party, be able to benefit without you speaking up?

7. Make it easy and remember this acronym that was created as a guideline for posting on social media: THINK

Jan L. Bowen is a passionately authentic thought leader who helps clients align their lives so they find more joy and greater connection through articulating and living their purpose. To get Jan’s latest book, "Why Do You Get Up In the Morning? How to Demystify Your Life Purpose," download it now. You will also receive her newsletter, with articles only available by subscription.