These spectacular results are sending ripples through the intelligence community. Not since the introduction of the Patriot Act has the United States been such a strong contender for the George Orwell Cup.

Long-time fans described the achievement as “doubleplusgood”.

One paranoid schizophrenic, who requested to remain anonymous, went on record as saying “I told you so.”

China, the long-favoured frontrunners, dismissed the underdog’s impressive record as a “lucky break.”

Still, the FISC has displayed some remarkable efficiency.

Critics accuse the court of merely rubber stamping the requests in lieu of a critical review process, but an official from the FISC denies such allegations: “we do more than just stamp things. We sign them, date them, file them… it’s a full time job.”