Posted Apr 8, 2013

Last year, San Francisco took the top slot for Sugar Daddy density in the country – but the tide has changed. Atlanta has unseated the city-by-the-Bay to become the best city in America to find a Sugar Daddy. This is the second time this year Atlanta has risen to the top of a sugar list, with Georgia State topping the list of Sugar Baby Schools back in January.

The demographics of the American Sugar Daddy are changing. Since 2007, we have seen a shift in the number of bachelors signing up for the website, and the number of married Sugar Daddies decreasing. The average American Sugar Daddy is now 39 years old, makes $275,301 annually and spends approximately $5100 per month on his sugar baby.

While Atlanta, Scottsdale and San Francisco top our list for the best cities to find a sugar daddy, but Miami ranks first in generosity. Why do you think the city with the most generous Sugar Daddies is one of the least dense cities for Sugar Daddy populations?

Do you think the shift in Sugar Daddy demographics is a sign that mutually beneficial relationships are becoming more mainstream?

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136 Responses to “Capitals of America: Sugar Daddy Edition”

OhGirlieGirlsays:

Hi Sugars

I have read pretty much all the blogs and posts about safety and “first meeting tips”, however, I was wondering still if anyone can shed some light on some of the questions I have:

It is encouraged to use protection during sex, am I right? SD’s, I’d especially like to hear from you!

SB’s – Apart from the general rules of first meetings and not bring up allowances and all, how do you deal with the issues of a late “payment” (for lack for a better work)…..would love to hear you thoughts!

On the issue of safety, does anyone carry anything to protect themselves? Do they feel the need to? like pepper spray and such lol just curious!

When it comes to personal information, how much is too much? Do the single mom’s here tell their SD’s or pot sd’s about kids (withdrawing names or gender or age) or work information? Any tips in this area will help!

SB’s and SD’s I’d love to hear you thoughts!

Your blogs and comments helped me a lot and I hope I can contribute my first experience here as well….

Hope everyone’s doing great and I really nope get your thoughts!

Cheers!

Jersey Darlingsays:

@Dorky, agreed. Just like truly beautiful people don’t have to self-proclaim their beauty and those who are smart don’t need to discuss it because it is apparent. Rejection when you haven’t even met someone yet shouldn’t be a hard pill to swallow.

@Daniel you are free to reach out to me too if you would like

I’ve brought my posts over to the new topic. See you both there!

DorkyGuysays:

@Jersey~ I would wager that neither I nor Trader are actually “afraid of strong women”.

It is just a common thing to hear when you aren’t interested in a woman who has a low self-esteem but is trying to convince herself otherwise

I think that a truly strong woman doesn’t handle rejection that way. Instead, a truly strong woman has enough self-confidence to accept that not every guy is going to be into her, and doesn’t have to demean the guy in order to reconcile her ego.

Danielsays:

OK, my cyber-crush on Jersey D. continues.

Jersey Darlingsays:

@SouthernSB: “I would never look down on a Foot Locker night manager, but that’s just me. But I don’t think he could be a SD of any kind. I mean, what the heck is he doing on SA when he should be spending all of his money for food, rent and payments on his used car?”

What I find ironic is you’d be lucky to find a self-made successful man who was high up enough to be a manager early in his career! Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon, used to work at McDonalds. Ben from Ben & Jerrys used to be a taxi driver. Richard Branson of Virgin hustled by selling records out of his car. Steve Jobs originally worked with one other person out of his garage, and Michael Dell was a dishwasher (who worked his way up to being a Maitre D’, much like working your way up to being manager of Foot Locker).

Sure, you may argue they weren’t capable of being SDs back then, but would you question any of them now? Allow the business woman in me to step out for a moment with an analogy. What you are doing right now in looking for a SD is buying stocks once the price is already up. Anyone can identify a success once they are already successful. That’s not how one plays the stock market. It takes more skill, perseverance, time (and yes, a large dose of luck) to be able to identify those people on the way up. You may not be willing to keep an open mind to it and make yourself vulnerable, but if you are in this for anything more than the money – like perhaps being in it because you enjoy being around powerful, innovative people or those who have the potential to be – you are missing out on a heck of a lot.

In retrospect, that Foot Locker manager may actually be doing quite well for himself.

@Beach_Girl – Hehe, hopefully I remind you of someone good!

Jersey Darlingsays:

@Trader, while I originally missed the line that Dorky quoted about you being afraid of strong women, I doubt it’s true. If you find yourself interested in me, I am a strong woman – just not headstrong where I feel that I know everything. I generally find that quality repellant.

I’d also suspect that you’re just not finding the right profiles (probably because, from what I gather, the quality ones that would align with what you’re looking for are few and far between). I have a sneaking suspicion that if you read my profile, you’d be able to see we were on the same page in terms of values; my profile gives away what I’m looking for even quicker than my posts on the blog do. And I’m sure I’m not the only girl on the site with a profile like that, they just take time to find.

Perhaps when it comes to finding what you’re looking for on this site you shouldn’t give up yet. While meeting someone in person is great, this will open you up to people that you’d never run across in your geographical area. There are a couple of options you have on SA. When using the actual site, I’d suggest looking more for profiles that specifically align with what you are looking for or at least allude to it. Then have a phone conversation so you can get a feel for the person, as it’s too easy for people to emulate what they are looking for in writing because they have time to think before they speak. You may also want to consider alternate avenues such as the blog. I find that the blog gives social credibility to the people posting that is similar to what we would get in person because we are all accountable to our peers. Geographically there’s a slim chance of finding someone near you that way, but if distance doesn’t deter you from meeting the right person then it’s a good option.

As far as you responding to emails you’re not interested in, I thought it was nice that you did that. I’ve always been happy to have someone respond to me that way because if they were someone I was interested in getting to know, I would have followed up with them again once after the initial email (yes, I have good followup skills!). This way, I know the interest isn’t mutual – no reason required really.

I appreciate your comment about me giving others a fair chance, as I’ve always had that mentality and happen to be good at seeing the good qualities in people that others tend to miss. It’s fulfilling that you gathered that about me from a few posts as many people in my daily life never recognize it, or at least wouldn’t comment on it.

As for me, yes that is a recent picture of me I took right after waking up one day. Every so often I reveal myself 😛

On a lighter note, you mentioned that discussion of fine dining makes you want to gag. I’ve been chided on the blog before for being happy to eat at Applebees (what? I love their boneless wings!) or at a hidden gem of a restaurant. All I care about is that the food tastes good.

If you’d be interested in talking off-blog, you can reach me at puffin 532 @ gmail (that’s a throwaway email address since I’m posting it publicly, but I’ll respond to you from my real email). If nothing else, it never hurts to have another friend in the sugar world

@GTT I do think texting that often is quite a bit compared to what I’d be used to especially considering that by your posts, it seems to be incongruent with what you ultimately want in a SB as in other ways you seem to be very NSA, but ultimately no one’s speculation here matters. Maybe FWB is the best way to describe it. Glad you’ve found someone on the same page (even if it’s a very wordy one! 😉 ).

@fly – “My only comment is that from what I hear from some of our clients who also hire escorts and industrial debutantes in some quantity that they are really far cheaper than what I would consider to be a real SB.”

That’s where that definition of a real SB comes into play.

Also @ fly: “There are great opportunities for SB’s to be that treasured dream of an earlier era and that’s where the great value add occurs..It’s certainly not the only place as there are some who probably feel they need to be punished etc but for longevity I think dream fulfillment is a far better road to follow.”

Why does this comment remind me of the Great Gatsby? This is an interesting route to take. I should try it sometime! 😛

@Spicey – ““Smart, beautiful, and has sex like a porn star”

Maybe this is my modesty talking (ha!), but I don’t consider myself anything outrageous in bed. I’m amazing at being in tune with my partner and therefore knowing how to drive them crazy, but I don’t have any special tricks. I think this is why (just like in my non-sugar life) I prefer having one monogamous partner. So much of the chemistry, the tension, the sexual buildup lies in the mental connection and not in the physical (for me).

Spiceysays:

Alicia – I like to meet someone before I even think about gifts. And, you will probably find yourself a lot happier if you think about the sugar as gifts not him “paying you.”

As for him being twenty years older, I’ve never had that be a concern. I stay informed, and have things to talk about, so the age difference is a non issue. Read the paper, understand his industry (at least a little) and smile. Then let chemistry handle the rest.

And, don’t have chipped fingernail polish … EVER!

Beach_Girlsays:

Hello Sugars!

This holding posts is making me nutty, I don’t like it. It took about 2 days for other posts to show up… This is my relief after a long day… come on!!!

TraderJ~ Now I am curious, what you are looking for. You say you need more than a pic and a small description… If you tell people here what you are kind of looking for, there are a lot of SBs that read the blog and know of other SBs they could match you up. I have done it in the past and it worked well for them. You never know, it does take time though, sorry you feel the site isn’t working for you. I wish you could hang on a little longer. One SD friend of mine was very direct in his profile about what he wanted, what he wanted his SB to be like and it took him 2 months to find the perfect SB for him. He is very successful with his strategy, I wish He would come to the blog… He’s an amazing person
And a lot of SBs don’t need designer stuff… Ok, I have to admit, I do love GianMarco Lorenzy shoes, I look at them and wish I could have them, but my priorities are different and wouldn’t buy a 2-6k pair of shoes! I would get a replica or something cheaper than would look as amazing. There are a lot of successful men that don’t dress the part, it’s not all about designer stuff.
Connection, chemistry, communication, friends with benefits, light and no drama.
It’s hard to write a profile, some say it’s about the pics others about the content. I wrote something more general and that works for me.

Jersey~ LOL you would be a cute frog lol… great reference to me being french there?!?!? lol… You remind me of someone I know…

Rewrite the last sentence to: If you think that the fact that I have money implies I will be respectful, then you are very nieve.

I am trying to change my handle to FatTeddyBearSD and what to set the appropriate tone of voice.

FatBastardSDsays:

@SouthernSB

I can only assume that you equate being treated like a lady with someone giving you expensive gifts or expensive services. My understanding is that being treated like a lady implied that the man will treat you with respect. If you think that the fact that I have money implies I will be respectful, then you are either very young or not really intelligent at all.

OhGirlieGirlsays:

in my above comment I meant, “I never knew such things existed, not “I every knew” lol Ooops!

OhGirlieGirlsays:

Hello everyone!

New SB here…..from Toronto. Being on SA is my first SB/SD experience and I only created my profile yesterday! lol

I every knew such things existed so I decided to explore. I hope I’m posting this in the right section because I have yet to learn to navigate through the site efficiently.

As a new SB, I extend a warm hello to all other SB’s and SD’s on SA. Any tips and pointers would be greatly appreicated (I did do my homework and have read the safety rules and blog and all the other general information blogs as well); I have to say, you it’s touching how all the SB’s are so supportive towards each other.

Looking forward to your replies!

Cheers!

RussianSBsays:

What about statistics for Sugardaddy World capitals ?

Madridistasays:

@Daniel — Wow, you should have mentioned that before, I would have then told you to walk away. Guru is right: rewarding bad behavior won’t change it. There are other SBs out there for you. She might just be a bit immature if she uses phrases like the one you mentioned.

@Frank and FB, I read the same paragraph differently, more sarcastically. I didn’t get the serious tone from it, so maybe that’s why I understood it differently. Me thinks I have comprehension issues now, no? How I took that paragraph: some pot SDs are not at the point in their lives where they can consider themselves true SDs. They have resources to show some girls a good time, but what they are offering is incompatible to what some of their targeted/pot SBs are looking for. I didn’t read it as anyone demeaning someone’s career/profession. As a fellow writer as Spicey, I thought it was just a literary device for her analogy to make her point. I think we both read same post with different tone and that’s how we derive such different meanings from it.

@FB, as for meeting those qualifications of being a store manager, you’re right I wouldn’t qualify. At 26, I only have 2 M.A. degrees, 4 language teaching certificates, am multilingual with background in translating, teaching and sports writing. So, why would I be picked to be a manager of anything? Let’s not insult what anyone is qualified or not qualified to do.

Happy Friday to all!

SouthernSBsays:

@FB I would never look down on a Foot Locker night manager, but that’s just me. But I don’t think he could be a SD of any kind. I mean, what the heck is he doing on SA when he should be spending all of his money for food, rent and payments on his used car? Also, shouldn’t he be in school taking business classes so that he can be on the fast track to at least own his own Foot Locker? Frankly, I don’t think a SB is someone you should “save up for”, a SB/SD arrangement is a relationship so how is our hypothetical manager going to keep his girl on any kind of long term basis? Where is the money coming from? I understand lower class men with great ambition, heck I’ve even dated them in my younger days, but we are on SA because (at least in my case) I am an intelligent woman who is tired of wading through a plethra of lower class men trying to find a gem. Not only that, I like being treated like a lady and too many men on the lower rung don’t treat us like ladies. SA is so much more honest. I get to date, find a guy I connect with, who is intelligent and I if I have to wade through the jerks at least I get something for my trouble and so do they.

Becksays:

FB,

I concur that this is not a place to find a model/porn-star. There are other venues for that, and with the right compensation everything is available. I am not looking for a model/porn-star in a SB either. Real is good. What amuses me is the model/porn-star like attitude from some SBs, who are neither (nor are they expected to be). Without naming names, there are a few with that attitude on this blog alone.

AC,

I agree. If an SB were to ever tell me that I am lucky to have her, I would first coach her on the proper way to have business communications, and if that didn’t change things, gently ease her out. I am willing to be a coach, but not willing to beat my head on the wall with someone who won’t learn.

“What is more troublesome, however, is the utter lack of ability to talk about anything intelligent on part of most SBs. ”

That is not at all my experience. Recruit with the big head and the little guy will be even happier.

flyrsays:

thoughts for Friday

The eternal question answered

Answer 1 – If you asked the question you probably will not understand the answer

Answer 2 – We live in a world where only the absolute corners are primary colors, the rest is shades

Answer 3 – If you obsess over the question you need to make some changes in your life

There was a discussion 30 comments ago regarding the potential that SA is trying to create a very exclusive men’s club. I think part of the marketing is that there are unique, intelligent, wealthy men here that can be met in an environment which allows the potential SB to search with some anonymity and safety. SB’s consume disposable, after tax cash so there needs to be some available, I think SA has listened to some of the criticism and moved their marketing to a less hookerish culture which is good. If they are still listening they should manage the expectations of their new SB’s a little better and also offer more counseling on what creates value.

Basic economics – when you have a homogenous commodity and an excess of supply prices drop to some equilibrium point where supply is reduced. Success in a chronically oversupplied market is not achieved through lowering prices but rather through product differentiation (old school term) or building a better SD trap……. Slapping up a picture, listing your hobbies and desires isn’t always the best path to success.

My observations of my married friends who have or have had SB’s is that they had some basic unmet needs and sex was not at the top of the list . They wanted
A relief from what they saw as under appreciation
Someone who brought joy not problems
Intellectual stimulation
A chance to relive their days of freedom with the girl they never had
Great sex where they could be their best
Some wanted arm candy to impress others
Living on the highwire
Spontaneity
Something to look forward to
A woman who looks great in jeans and a tshirt
The chance to make a difference in someone’s life

The list is far longer but I think if it were just about sex they would be pursuing an easier and more varied route.

I love old cars and have some friends who are much more into them than I am. What I noticed doing some of the events was that by and large the guys who owned and drove these high value classic cars were reliving their high school /college days often driving the cars that they wished they had in those days when they were working their way through school or just starting their now successful business. The cars were not tucked in a garage but were being driven across Texas far in excess of posted speed limits.

There are great opportunities for SB’s to be that treasured dream of an earlier era and that’s where the great value add occurs..It’s certainly not the only place as there are some who probably feel they need to be punished etc but for longevity I think dream fulfillment is a far better road to follow.

I think SB’s and SA would do far better following the targeted dream fulfillment. There’s a great argument to be made that fulfilled dreams are life’s best investment as they can’t be taken away, further taxed (other than by divorce) and are not likely to be easier to fulfill in another decade. …………….

Spicey,says:

“Smart, beautiful, and has sex like a porn star”

^And that gentlemen is why I have enjoyed GREAT generosity from my SDs. And no Daniel, I would never “demand” a high allowance that would be gauche – I don’t demand anything, I’m just fortunate enough to be attracted to generosity.

A low allowance isn’t sexy to me – so I don’t pursue those relationships or respond to men who have an amount listed that doesn’t make me feel special – why waste someone’s time?

I’m also successful (and see sugar as a fun, sexy way to be pampered by my man). I don’t pursue relationships with someone who is less successful than me (in dating or in sugar). No looking down on anyone else, I just want an SD who I think of as successful, powerful, and who REALLY cares that I enjoy our sexy time.

Being selfish in bed, “lying back to read the paper” ignoring my needs, “because that’s why I’m paying you,” or carrying a lot of sexual hangups will always be worthy of mockery and scorn in my book.

flyRsays:

@Fat

Principle 2 Listen to Dr. Spook and deploy the full sensor array …… the answer is floating in the sugarsphere without your having asked the question.

Texting – find something that works ……….. 50 times a day is scary for me but might be perfect for someone else . On the other hand an occasional text when she knows you are in an important meeting that titillates but acknowledges that you can not answer can be awesome.

Hello I am a new sugar baby and am on this website because I saw it on tv awhile back and thought it could really help me with college and my personal finances. I have a question for the experienced sugar babies….Could you all give me some tips on my first date which by the way is Saturday with a man 20 years older than I. We are meeting for lunch to get to know each other. Should he pay me on our date or do I wait? I am super shy too so any pointers would be great. Thanks so much for your time.

TraderJsays:

Geesh barely 24 hours away and there is so much stuff to reply I will do my best to keep it as short as possible hah, wishful thinking on my part.

@ Sweetie – Sorry I know I should just Google it, but what is Trader Joe’s? TraderJ is my occupation (raw commodities) and my first initial.

Just to follow up slightly the reason I am considering bailing after only three weeks is not that there is anything wrong with the site, or perhaps even the girls on the site. But the presentation of the girl’s info on the site doesn’t really give me the info I need to make an informed choice about whom might interest me. So I either end up spending hours chatting to and meeting people that couldn’t be further from what I am seeking or I don’t end up talking to anyone as I can’t clearly gauge what if any common ground we might have.

@ Spicey – Yes your value to the person you are currently seeing is exactly what you estimate it to be, does not mean anyone else agrees. That was my only point, value is a personal thing and being upset because others don’t see “all the data points” you have is really, well pointless. IMHO

My apologies if anyone else took my comment to mean I think all SB should give everyone a fair chance. I merely meant that I admired Jersey for her ability to do so. I don’t care or expect anyone to do anything other than what they want.

I actually no longer reply to people I’m not interested in, I simply block them right away now. A couple I didn’t respond to followed up with repeated msgs asking if I got their previous msg etc. I assume slightly unstable people so easier to use the block feature. Makes for a more peaceful experience.

I am not sure what we have to reset Spicey I have have no ill will towards you at all. For a number of reasons that really aren’t worth getting into it is clear to me I would not be interested in a person in real life that actually has the persona you do on this blog. But that does not mean I think poorly of your or dislike you at all, I am sure there are lots of people that don’t like me for reasons I either can’t control or don’t care to. I have no issue being friendly with you or anyone else.

The “dorkybooboo” reference was lost on me, sorry.

@ Beach_girl – Actually I do know very much what I want I have just come to understand that I can’t find it on this site. But not that it does not exist here just that the things I am looking for can’t really be determined by reading a profile or looking at a few pics. So I either have to go back to my old way of finding a SB off line or spend massive amounts of time (which I don’t have) to reply to ever SB online in the hopes that I will stumble across what I am looking for. Thanks for the input and support.

@ Jersey – You’re welcome, re: the compliments. BTW if that is your pic I agree with the assessment that you are seriously cute.

Oh the eternal “what am I looking for” I truly don’t know that I could put it in to words, but I know it when I see it. That is my problem I mentioned earlier I don’t think the problem is that the “type” I am looking for is NOT on SA but rather I can’t figure out who they are based on the type of info available on the site. Not sure if that makes any sense.

I think mostly I would be described as eccentric, but in a harmless way. I read in the blog someone (my apologies I don’t recall who) said something to the effect of you wouldn’t go to a KIA showroom and expect to find a BMW. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a BMW, yet I own 11 cars and one of them is a KIA. I have owned a Ven Cap firm for close to twenty years yet I don’t own a suit, nor will I ever be in one unless I’m in a box six feet under. I never finished high school but I feel very safe in saying (not bragging) that my income is in the top 1% in North America nearer the top I might add. When I see people talking about how they love “fine dining” I literally want to gag, couldn’t be less interested. Or people that buy name brand things ONLY because of the name, of course if there is a worthwhile difference in quality or value that is different. I could go on but I am sure you get the point.

Don’t even get me started about when women get going with the I look my best for you and it takes a lot of work to look this good, really? Ummm if it takes that much work maybe you should consider NOT doing it.

Most of the things that I see the SB writing in their profiles either seem to be what they think we want them to like or say or things that just make me dizzy with how mind numbingly boring to me their lives and interests sound.

Ok so now you can see, it’s pretty unlikely that the “something” that attracts me to another human is not really going to be easy to find with the profile system as it currently is. But it was a least an interesting study in the human condition.

Oh for the record on the issue of allowance, I would never have a SB that wanted to have a talk up front about it and state her needs and price range etc. Seems way tacky to me, again that is ONLY ME I am not suggesting anyone else is wrong for their beliefs. Having said that both my previous long term SB all in received greater than 5 figures per month. I am not cheap just like to do things my own way it’s worked this far in life so why fix it if it ain’t broken?

Anyway 7 AM in SG the Asian markets will be open soon time to go to the salt mines to earn my keep. Take care everyone.

flysays:

@fat “I don’t think any guy who actually wanted an escort (and could actually afford one) would put up with the hassle of finding a sugar baby on the SA site.”

My only comment is that from what I hear from some of our clients who also hire escorts and industrial debutantes in some quantity that they are really far cheaper than what I would consider to be a real SB.

Perhaps part of the problem is that SA is attracting hookerish interns who see the site as a veneer of respectability. However, the profiles have a lot of hints about the brevity of the qualification process, focus on $, flexibility in terms of longevity and activities.

The comment to the effect that a hooker is not paid for sex but rather to leave with the job is finished I believe originated with Dick Morris who replied to an aggressive reporter who asked him how he could possibly pay for sex with a young girl. Morris’ reply was the payment was not for sex but to depart promptly.

My personal vision of the great SB is that the interest and attachment goes far beyond great sex and that while there is an understanding that the times together are limited there is much more to the relationship than just sex.

On the facebook page question I really understand that someone who wants to keep their sb activities clear of their “real life ” would prefer that there not be tracks left on Facebook. Those tracks are eternal and doj is just about to award another large contract to be able to find little footprints and compare them with other little footprints to see who knows whom. If SD is engaged in anything of interest to DOJ or SB has another sd who is a bad guy they are going to backtrack and it could be uncomfortable.

Even those who seem pretty upstanding may have a dark side. Some years ago the FBI came to talk to a number of us as it seemed that a very upstanding Harvard Business School grad/ sports car racer was not only a major drug importer but had also shot a federally protected witness on the steps of the Miami courthouse. In today’s world the first place they are going to go is your facebook page and twitter account. These links are also constantly mined for data on relationships for marketing and other purposes.

sweetiesays:

Beck, you don’t seem too happy with your arrangement/s. If the sex is mediocre, the girls don’t think much etc, why put up with it? Please, give them the book/magazine you want them to read, tell them you expect them to, so that you can talk about it next time. See how they do, I mean if these girls are in school, they must do reading for school, so their brains can’t be that rusty?! Tell them this is the SB school and have to pass the test!!!
Somebody said there are all kinds of 19 year olds (works for any age), some don’t know what planet they’re on, others support their families… it’s all about maturity.

Regarding mediocre sex, I think that only happens when there’s no compatibility in the sack. There’s not much to do about that; I don’t expect to click with everybody, even though I like them physically, feel affection and respect for them.

If i read this statistics. First they say nothing because noone offers here what he really pays. Second I see that the US is cheaper than Europe.

Becksays:

I was surprised too on the 50 times texting/calling bit. I actually get a little frustrated when I get an out of the blue call. Text is fine, but too many texts are not. This is just a small part of my life, and it’s not a real relationship.

Well, even if my GF sent me texts 50 times a day I would think that she is clingy.

It’s a job. Take it as a job, maintain professionalism, show respect on both sides, and you have bliss.

**We need to be able to edit messages! Gosh I type so fast and don’t proofread and then notice I forget words etc !! Hope that is coherent enough @Fatbastard!**

Danielsays:

@Fat Bastard
Where do you come up with this stuff? First of all, nobody but you is talking about texting 50 times a day….get a grip, man. I’m talking about going for several days (like 10 or more) with no communication at all. You call that “possessive”? Are you for real? As most of us will affirm, communication is a key component of a successful arrangement and it requires EFFORT. Second, I don’t do Facebook or other social media so I couldn’t see personal pics of her if I wanted to, and I’m not a stalker so it’s a moot point. Third, she is recently divorced and dates but has no boyfriend. I would expect nothing different. I “put up with” her self-absorbed ways because she has other qualities that are positive and worthwhile. I don’t know about her feelings for me but she often asks to see me more often even though I give her a flat $2k each month, which is exactly as she requested in the beginning. Bottom line….if we’re going to do this, we should make the effort to do it right.

@gtt_envysays:

@ Daniel & gtt_envy
It is really eye opening for me to see other SD’s view of what an arrangement is like. You guys really text 50 times per day with your SB and read about what she does with her boy friend!? You expect her to keep you informed of what she is doing on a daily basis?

I said 10-50 times a day…………..lol. I’ve had SB’s where we txted 2000 times a month too!! I personally am like a high schooler in that regard my phone is by me 24/7. I use 7GB a month in data!!

It’s totally mutually the txts are good natured, harmless, informative and sometimes flirty. If that communication piece isn’t there it feels very transactional and no different than having a escort. Our conversations just normal banter. Here are some yesterday from her each one led to 4-5 replies:

“Good morning hope it’s a awesome one!”, “Here is the beginning of a painting I’m working on what do ya think?”, “Big debate on legalization of Marijuana any thoughts?”, “Greek for lunch so good do you like Greek food?”, “Going to a party tonight, I’m so excited to get out! Looking forward to seeing you!”, “Gnite, ttyt!”

Yesterday it was 68 messages split just about evenly! It does taper as the arrangement goes on, but in the beginning it’s ridiculous much higher as there is a feeling out process. My SB’s are ALWAYS long distance and I only meet once a month, so without lots of txt it’s like meeting a stranger if we don’t connect on some level.

Every arrangement has been like this for me. My first and 3rd SB still txt me to this day and it’s been years. Very much Friends with Benefits more than NSA or anything else.

WCSDsays:

@FB – I myself do NOT text 50 times per day with my SB, mainly because I hate typing on my phone. Could I get into an email/messaging chat (while on my computer)? Absolutely! But it is definitely not a daily occurance at all. As for my approach to the sugar lifestyle, I honestly approach it as a friends with benefits situation. Yes the benefits are defined ($, etc.), but it is still a friend, and that would mean talking about all kinds of things in their lives. Now, talking about their boyfriend? No, not for me. Knowing that she has one? I’d like to know, but don’t care that she would, and definitely don’t want details of their lives. But, that is no different than me not sharing details of that nature with a SB. Would I tell one SB the details of what I’m doing with another one? Not at all. Would she know that I have another one? In most cases, yes. Some have asked me NOT to let them know if I have another one(s).

I agree with your assessment of possesiveness. But I find there are a large number of men who are WAY more possesive when it comes to any type of relationship than I’ve ever understood. I’m much more of the attitude of ‘if she doesn’t want to be with me, so be it, time to find another one’. Makes life much less stressful.

DorkyGuysays:

@sweetie/TraderJ: regarding time it takes to find a SB. You could probably call up 20 girls, and have a “SB” tomorrow. But I don’t think that’s what you’re asking.

Based on many stories shared by other SDs on the blog: Guys who are looking for 1 special girl for something long-term have reported time ranges of 6 weeks to 6 months to find someone that quality that is a good match. Often they go through several failed starts before they found her. Sometimes they don’t, and either give up or resign themselves to short-term flings.

If you find yourself tired of the search, it still pays to log in and check profiles form time to time. There is a lot of turnover among SBs, and in a couple of months, you’ll be looking at a whole new set.

“They send all sorts of crazy my way, I don’t know what I’m missing and I am afraid of strong women and I probably couldn’t afford them anyway.”~TraderJ

@TraderJ~ I just had to laugh when I read that. I have heard that a lot too… especially the “afraid of strong women” line. Thanks!

Jersey Darlingsays:

@Beach_Girl – “Jersey Darling~ I think a lot of SBs and SDs are unsure of how it all works, but they will learn, that is why there is this blog, to help.
By the way, is that you in the pic? if so, you are too cute girlie!”

Yes, my picture is of me – just took it two days ago. Thank you! 😀
(Just think of how funny it will be when someone reads this blog post in the future and I’ve changed my picture to a gravatar of a frog.)

It’s become apparent that several women on this blog are eager to prove who’s worth the most money. They’ll do this by describing how they command such high allowances, or trying to prove what trips they’ve taken. Why are you ladies trying so hard to commoditize yourself? At the end of the day, the only argument you’ve proved is that you’re an object – and, when we see your personalities, that cost does not equal value.

And heck, humor me here. What if someone who reads this blog was willing to offer you more than your market value? You’ve just proved that that price, precisely, is all that you are worth.

Short sighted on all counts.

@Sweetie, I remember reading through some posts on the SA blog and all SBs agreed on being extremely patient when hunting for a SD.

Even though I think it’s reasonable to expect it to take a while to find your right match on here, I’m not surprised that someone would want to leave after a few weeks. You have to be really determined to find what you are looking for to want to deal with most of the people on here, unless you are looking for a transactional relationship.

@Frank: “This is obviously meant as a caricature of a SD, but is so indicative of the attitude that spicey has toward SDs. Is there any wonder that a SD would take offense at this.”

I’m right there with you. But, as Spicey/Stacey/Whatever the name du jour is has stated before, she likes a man who will lick her shoes. Frankly, I’m not entirely convinced that her blog postings aren’t just another fictional story line for her.

Guru~ why is the blog acting funny? could you fix it? And thanks for adding the tips for newbies, it should be on the side as before!

Hope everyone is having a great day

FatBastardSDsays:

@Beck

I know what you mean, some women think they can a large allowance because they are models when they cannot even get modeling jobs.

The really interesting part is that I HAVE MET REAL MODELS through the site. I shit you not. You can find their pictures in men’s magazines. The allowance is pretty high but they are out there.

To be fair to the SB’s on SA if you want one you can talk to just find one in college or who has graduated in a field you are interested in. This is not hard to do. Now finding such a SB who looks like a super model and has sex like a porn star might not be in the cards. The SA site is not paradise and only draws women from the real world.

Alleycatsays:

Hi people – back from a looooong absence here.

@Daniel – walk. She is obviously lining up a string a meets, so she is obviously not that into you. And she said “you’e lucky to have me”? Wow, I would have two word reply to that “bye bye!” The attitude of entitlement sucks.

@gtt_envy – you really txt 1-50 times per day? That’s nearly a gf! Maybe she just likes that attention, but wow that is way to much.

I txt or talk with my current every 2-3 days, just checking in. She is busy finishing off her masters, and getting ready for med school, so she is pretty busy. We usually carve out a half day each week, plus dinner sometimes. It all works pretty well. Summer is going to be interesting, as my teenage daughter will be off school.

@Lo – I agree, I like SBs with a life taken up by study or other major commitments. It shows they have a life, and are engaged in other activities.

@FatBastard – I provide an allowance that takes the stress and problem out of her life. She is a student, works part-time and needed rent and a couple of other things covered so she can focus on studies. It works out well for both of us, she can focus on her study, and I know that she is ok. And we have a great time together. In the past, I have given allowances so that my SB wouldn’t have to go chasing other SDs, and said they wouldn’t, but it’s amazing what happens once some girls get a taste of money. Dishonesty in the relationship has been the dominant cause of ending SB relationships for me.

FatBastardSDsays:

@SD Guru

Escort vs Sugar Baby: I should have just quoted your blog.

@Daniel

Why do you put up with someone who is the most self absorbed person you have ever met. Is she really self absorbed or are you upset that you have feelings for her that she does not reciprocate?

@ Daniel & gtt_envy

It is really eye opening for me to see other SD’s view of what an arrangement is like. You guys really text 50 times per day with your SB and read about what she does with her boy friend!? You expect her to keep you informed of what she is doing on a daily basis?

Are you guys giving an allowance to where she has nothing else to worry about other than you?

I know not everyone wants NSA, but it seems like you guys are very possessive. Correct me if I am wrong though.

You really discuss what she does with her boy friend?!

Danielsays:

@madridista…thanks for the advice, but I have mentioned the comms issue with her many times over the last 6 months but to no avail. She will improve for a short while and then relapse. She is one of the most self-absorbed people I’ve ever meet, even for a 24 y.o., so this is a factor. She once told me “you’re lucky to have me” , which in some ways I am but I think she doesn’t believe I will actually walk away from this. She’s in for a well-deserved dose of reality very soon.

@Daniel“I have mentioned the comms issue with her many times over the last 6 months but to no avail.”

See my Golden Rule #1 above – Don’t reward bad behavior. And if you do, then don’t be surprised that the bad behavior persists.

Becksays:

As someone new to this blog (but not the SD lifestyle) I must say this was a new and somewhat refreshing perspective on how relatively attractive SBs see themselves.

I had had my share of SB who believe they look like models. They don’t, as otherwise they would have been models. They are conventionally pretty, however. Most SBs are rather poor performers in bed, model look-alike or not, but that is understandable given their lack of experience; after all, they are often young and just starting out and have a lot to learn about sex. Also, there are a lot of inhibitions that are understandable for a young woman; she will lose it as she gets older. So, all in all, the sex is mediocre.

What is more troublesome, however, is the utter lack of ability to talk about anything intelligent on part of most SBs. In a way, this is not unexpected. You wouldn’t expect a mid 20s woman with financial limitations to have much exposure to the various things the world has to offer. But what bothers me is that these women just don’t read. They rarely read books or newspapers outside of the usual girly magazines, making it painfully difficult to hold a conversation with them.

So why do I got for SBs and not escorts. Well, the sex is definitely better with an escort, especially someone in their early 30s where the look is still there and the experience is vastly superior. However, escorts have a lot of baggage. They have been beaten down, so to speak, by life. They are often bitter, and certainly not fun to spend time with outside of bed. This is where a less worldly starry-eyed SB comes in. She is still awed by the glitter of a half recent restaurant (“The food is so exquisitely presented! And in such small proportions! And look, there is foam on top!”). She still gets that quick look of happiness in her eyes when you get her a random gift (in 4 figures, of course). Finally, it is fun to help a SB with her academic or other pursuits, financially.

I am not that much older than the few SBs I have had. I am in my early 30s, approaching my mid 30s. What I have noticed is how much of a difference a decade makes. I look back and think – wow! Was I really that naive only 10 years back?

On the topic of allowance. I hate it when I am asked to provide money. It is rather uncouth. Left to my own devices, a quick calculation shows that I spent about $20-25k per month on SBs. Gosh, when I grow up, I will look back, and like Georgie Best say that I spent all my money on good food, wine and women, the rest I wasted.

One last free advice – Spicey, Lo, Russian et al – tone it down, please. There is nothing wrong with expecting large wads of cash. After all, this is like any other job. But you shoot yourself in the foot if you are that explicit about the remunerations. It may be that you are only that transparent on the blog and not in real life, but I doubt it. The utter disdain that you display here for SDs likely seeps into real life too. That is fine, but it most definitely hurts your job prospects as an SB, and ultimately makes that wad of cash a lot thinner.

Franksays:

@FB, where are all those SDs who are fervently in agreement with you.

Sigh, I thought I would be able to keep my mouth shut. But I guess I have been called out.

I went back to the original post and here it is:

But, now that I have seen the error of my ways I say, “You’re tired from working so hard as the night manager at Athlete’s Foot, lie back and let me pamper, and worship, and stroke every inch of you into blissful sleep. Then I’ll let myself out, ride public transit home, and be thrilled with the $14.76 and the Pizza Hut coupons you gave me. Did I mention that I am so appreciative that you explained the sequester to me, breaking all those big words like “budget” down so I could understand them! My little brain just can’t handle such big thoughts without a man to explain them to me.

So first she looks down her nose at the SD because of what he does for a living, then insults this hypothetical SD by saying he is demanding worship, that he goes off to sleep after sex, and ignores the needs of the SB, and then the SD short changes her by giving her Pizza Hut coupons, and finally the SD is so self centered and obtuse that he demeans the intelligence of the SB.

This is obviously meant as a caricature of a SD, but is so indicative of the attitude that spicey has toward SDs. Is there any wonder that a SD would take offense at this.

If I did a post like this on SBs with that same dismissive attitude, and touched on all of those SB cliches (in the interest of discression I won’t name them here, but you all know them) I feel sure the SBs would be up in arms.

FatBastardSDsays:

@gtt_envy

Been around people who work in an industry where hiring escorts is like ordering pizza for the rest of us. Your numbers are what I have heard is the typical rate. As with MSRP and SB allowances what you ask for and what you can get are two different things. Dinner and fun time? Might happen on a TV show.

To avoid a chorus of screams I will add that what you offer as a SD and what is accepted are two different things as well.

I don’t think any guy who actually wanted an escort (and could actually afford one) would put up with the hassle of finding a sugar baby on the SA site.

@Everyone

The Escort/SB and SD/John question: People are fluid in their behavior. A SB who has sex in an arrangement just because of the money is an escort. An escort who feels an emotional connection/attraction to her client is a SB in that situation. A SD who wants to “pump and dump” is acting like a John. The John who has fallen in love with his escort is a SD. Problems occur when there is a mismatch, or when people present themselves as one category of person when they are another for personal gain. This is a problem with life in general and not exclusive to SA.

flyrsays:

Wander away for a day or two and it’s back to the same old war……………..

There are SD SB relationships that are transactional with only the most elementary communications and relationships that are muiltidimensionial where the economics are a much smaller part of the total relationship. The good part is that each partner can, if they want, restrict themselves to a particular role. As JD notes they are generally far more reality oriented than the most traditional relationships to the of course i’ll call you in the am closing time dalliances,.

Let’s celebrate our different approaches.

Perhaps there’s a list of questions you should ask yourself about your target and “acceptable” (vs fantasy) sugar partners. For every person there are different priorities.

I see some of the same self image issues with young MBAs – they want to be entrepreneurs and yet they also want the wall street income right now. Part of it is the utility of current income and part is their self image and their classmates image of them. Most of their former classmates have a new BMW and some type of SUV in the family, the guy who always came up with wild ideas in class is still driving an old Accura but his biotech company will be going public in a couple of years.

The bottom line is that you have to do what’s right for you. I’ve looked at too many profiles over the years. For me the ones that stand out are ones which demonstrate some thought beyond I’m pretty and I want X.

The two questions I generally ask myself when communicating or even just looking at a profile is what’s important to this potential SB beyond the obvious financial part of the relationship and what’s on the table beyond sex.

I’m fine with an SB who wants to discuss politics on occasion or simply keep it off the discussion table, but am not interested in an sb who wants to argue about politics (or most anything) even if we agree. I’m thankful that a number of SB’s simply state that they should not be contacted by conservatives or those with other social diseases.

I’m sure the SB’s have their pet dislikes as well (again beyond the issue of allowances and longevity)

Also. Just a notion that I might NOT be real…

I am very real (which, has been verified) and I am very honest about all of my adventures 😀
A bit too honest perhaps… Oh well.

Beach_Girlsays:

Jersey Darling~ I think a lot of SBs and SDs are unsure of how it all works, but they will learn, that is why there is this blog, to help.
By the way, is that you in the pic? if so, you are too cute girlie!

FatBastardSDsays:

Interesting take that I am a manager at Athlete’s Foot and projecting. Projecting makes me less attractive as everyone named Madridista knows.

I thought my point is clear, but let me be blunt. I think that many SB’s on this blog demean the manager of Athlete’s Foot because they state his money is not as good as someone with a more glamorous career, or they imply that he would, by definition, be less generous/gracious as a person. I would wager that these same SB’s would not have the qualifications to get a job managing an Athlete’s Foot store. I find it idiotic that such SB’s believe that they are entitled to demean a manager at Athlete’s Foot who has achieved more success than they have themselves.

That is all.

sweetiesays:

Hello, all! It’s nice to see the blog is getting busier.

@Trader J, I might be stating the obvious, regardless, please indulge me. Are you a Trader Joe’s fan? Curious, very TJ fan myself.

Dear blogging/experienced SDs, I have a question for you. Trader J has stated he might cancel his account at the end of the month (after 3 weeks of searching, nothing panning out). What is the time frame for a SD to find a SB he’s happy with, considering the ratio of SD to SB? I remember reading through some posts on the SA blog and all SBs agreed on being extremely patient when hunting for a SD.

So, would you say it takes less time to find a SB than it takes to find an SD? Do you have an average? Personally, I have been on a different site, decided to not renew my membership after the 2nd month, no real prospects.

What about a poor SD realizing that his prospect SB is his daughter from his first marriage? Paid well by him to study, but still looking for some extra income.

Jersey Darlingsays:

And an addendum – The beauty of an arrangement is that, unlike traditional dating, the games of playing hard to get go away; you are both completely straightforward in your expectations, and that allows you to get to the good parts of a relationship that much quicker.

So many of the women on here are so caught up in believing they can create the perfect fantasy for a man, that sometimes they forget that what the man really wants is something real.

gtt_envysays:

@DianaSBinOC, your example makes perfect sense, but it is not reality with any hobbyist I know. The people I know that are in the hobby don’t spend 6hrs with a provider. They spend 1hr get rocked and spend 150/hr-400/hr I just used 250/hr as a reference. So, if your goal is just sex which was my point a provider is the way to go much much cheaper. In Atl, Houston, Dallas, New Orleans, 250/hr all day every day verified at that.

I see my sb anywhere from 4hrs to 60hrs a month if it’s a weekend and spend 2200-3500 depending if I fly her somewhere and that does include her $1500/mo allowance. If it was just sex I could get much better sex from no less than 8 different providers for the same price using the low end of my range! Versus avg sex 1-3 times a month from a SB……..like I said it’s not just about the physical piece it’s about the whole gambit and package.

I do hear what you are saying though!

Spicey,says:

TraderJ – my post started with the fact that I have been very fortunate and have found an arrangement that works for me. So, my value is exactly what I estimate it to be. It was your comment that other SBs on this blog appear to give everyone a chance that read as if you are saying all SBs should give everyone a chance. I assume others read it that way as well.

As for replying to SBs when you’re not interested, I wouldn’t if I were you. So many women really can’t take rejection. And, as we’ve seen on the blog, so often the written word lacks the necessary context not to come across as harsh. Unless you pepper your message with so many winkie faces it makes the reader nautious they will hear it as an insult.

Try this:

I’m sorry you live in Romania and I am in Detroit :(( – :((( I liked that pic of you in the pink bikini ;;;)))))). Good luck!!!! :::)))

Just like our exchanges here on the blog. I imagine if I had drinks with a handful of the SAbloggers that people would come away saying that I’m funny and self-depricating. But, due to the nature of the blog I come across arrogant, self-important (and apparently grandiose in my expectations).

You actually seem rather nice. So, hopefully we can reset and be friendly? Of course not in the way me and my DorkyBooBoo are.

And the rest of you: Call Off the Dogs! Enough! If Pizza Hut coupons and JCPenney shopping trips work for an SB and her SD, bravo!! That’s great. It’s nice when people are happy.

Beach_Girlsays:

TraderJ~ You have only been on the site a few weeks, it takes time to meet the right SB for you. It takes time to find what you like. Same as in the real world. As for value, you can evaluate a SB as you see fit, she may value herself different, then she is not for you!
I know I use to get upset because I was told I was too old, then they meet me and say, wow, you look young. My profile isn’t all that, I have a hard time writing about me, but if you like what you see, maybe just mail the person and see if you click. You never know, she might not be a good writer!

Very funny stuff, I have a friend that used to always tell me he doesn’t pay SB and/or escorts to have sex with him, he pays them to quietly go home when he’s done.

*shrug* to each their own haha

Jersey Darlingsays:

Quite a few things to respond to here so I’ll dive right in…

@Daniel: “I’m seriously considering dumping her because of this but I don’t like to give up easily, so I’m still working on it. I’m interested in hearing about everyone’s opinion/practices on SD/SB communication (i.e., frequency, text/email/phone, etc.)”

I’ve had potentials who texted me constantly throughout the day and it drove me nuts, and others that I could only wish would text me that often. Communicating your expectations is key, and if the girl you choose can’t meet them, either you compromise or you are not a match. Ideally you should both be on the same page.

Re: SBs vs escorts, I’ll refrain from commenting as most of you already know my opinion. Frankly I don’t think it’s much of a conversation and the two are worlds apart, with the blurriness permeating from those who prefer to be called a sugar baby when in reality they are an escort.

@Fat Bastard: “If it is NSA then having access to Facebook, Twitter of the SB is a mistake.”

Absolutely! Not only is it blackmail fodder, but unless both parties involved really want to know all the intimate details of each other’s lives, I don’t see the point.

“Last word about Spicey’s comments. Many SB posters don’t see anything offensive. Seems like all of the SD posters do.”

I see how it’s offensive as well, but you can’t change the mind of someone whose mind is closed to change.

@TraderJ: “Or perhaps just the type I am looking for is not in high supply here.”

Based on your posts, I’m curious – what type are you looking for?

Thank you for your compliments by the way, I’m flattered! I have to admit that I’m surprised by the closed-mindedness I see on here for a website that caters to a type of relationship that, to me, would require being open-minded as a prerequisite.

TraderJsays:

No way to edit something after it’s awaiting moderation I see.. will try to remember that for next time. I really hate leaving questions unanswered but also have limited time to post, due to life of course and the fact I am unable to not be lengthy in said reply. So here goes part two.

@Madridista – No contradiction at all I wasn’t telling her what SHE should think her value is I was simply saying to ME her value was a farce. I don’t care what she asks, or expects but I am still allowed to marvel at and how funny I think it is.

I also quite agree with you that people will only look for and accept what works for them and if platonic is the thing go for it, I would just not be interested in that.

@Spicey – You asked a number of things I don’t have to time to go back over your reply line by line so if I do miss anything my apologies I will try to hit the high points.

You were curious what amount I thought was one that only the blind old man would pay and that actually depends on the girl. Your numbers seem to be hard and fast and I don’t operate that way. As I said “value” is a tricky thing. I might see a profile that a girl is stating she is expecting 1-3K and think she is high on crack, but that is my view of her value.

I have seen other girls on this site asking for 3-5k and I think they have wildly undervalued themselves, but again that is MY perception of what I think their value would be to me.

I am one of those SD that gives an allowance but then pays other one time or here and there expenses as they come up, so if I am paying a 5k allowance, all in it’s usually closer to double that when all is said and done.

Never said or implied you should be excited by every offer. Your market value is only what the market will give you today, not last week, not next week but right now. So if you (the royal you) are looking but can’t find a SD willing to pay what you believe your market value is then right now at this point in time you have not done a very good market value assessment. Doesn’t meant the market won’t change in time, but we are talking in the here and now.

I have no idea why a SD would be upset over a SB wanting more than he thinks they are worth? You would have to ask one of them. I don’t get upset if I think you have no value to me or not enough value that I would be interested I would simply move on to someone that does interest me. Nothing to get upset about. I find it funny sometimes but then again maybe you can answer me a question?

Why when SBs msg me and tell me they read my profile and would like me to read theirs and ask me if I have any interest in talking further, do they get so upset when I am not interested? I am always polite about it, I feel it would be rude to not at least acknowledge the effort they put into reaching out to me. So I will always reply just stating that either I am looking for someone local or I’m actually in something new and just haven’t removed my account yet, etc.. I never directly relate the issue to being them, even when 99% of the time it is their profile and info that just doesn’t appeal to me.

They send all sorts of crazy my way, I don’t know what I’m missing and I am afraid of strong women and I probably couldn’t afford them anyway. It’s really quite sad on many different levels. But it is funny they always tend to be the profiles where the girl tries to play off her coolness and how everybody loves to be around her and she’s the girl that all the guys wanna be with and the all the girls wish they were more like…. ummm yeah…

Spicey you can hold out for whatever value you feel you are worth and if you find someone happy to pay and he believes he is getting value that’s all that matters and all the more power to ya.

TraderJsays:

@LadyLurker

I think you entirely missed the point. YOU are quite welcome to value your time body or anything else at whatever you choose. But then it is stupidity if you get upset that someone else does not value you in the same way.

Of course you should be selective about whom you choose to spend your time with our share your bodies with. I don’t recall suggesting otherwise, do point out where I implied such a thing. Again just because YOU believe you have a certain value, that value is only valid if other people, the ones you are wanting to PAY you agree. So if you had ONE SD that gave you an allowance of 50k a month, but there has not been another living soul on the planet willing to give you more than 2k, what is your value?

You simply don’t seem to get you can hope for a value or even make your mind up that you have a certain value and you won’t settle for less, but until someone pays you that allowance only then is that value valid to THAT person.

Nobody gets to decide what value anybody else places on them.

“compromise” on the attractiveness of my SB? Ummm why would I do that? But just because I find someone attractive it doesn’t mean everyone or hell anyone else will. My tastes are just that, just as your value is YOUR personal belief in what you think you are worth.

@Lo

I gather from what I’ve read from Jersey she is actually out of my targeted interested group but it doesn’t mean I can’t admire how I see her ethics or personality online. I don’t recall reading her say anywhere she would never accept more than 1K only that she would be willing to accept that amount for the right person.

The main difference (in my experience) between an escort and a SB.

You don’t need to talk to an escort.

You want to talk to a SB (especially young) but can find nothing to talk about.

Madridistasays:

@Spicey, I think FB projects too much into some comments and that’s why he took that fictional retail manager analogy so personally. Some people will resort to making a mountain of drama out of an innocent comment.

@FB, where are all those SDs who are fervently in agreement with you? And all, really? You’re projecting again. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that projecting makes a man less attractive.

@LadyLurker — welcome to the blog, nice to have another reasonable strong voice here. Totally agree with your comment

@Trader J — Your post is a bit contradictory. You say nobody gets to chose for anyone what they want and yet you mocked the profile you came across. I’ve never had a purely platonic arrangement, so I don’t understand profiles like that, but it’s not up to us to decide what that SB should want. If only one type of allowance/arrangement will help her, then it’s pointless to look for anything less than that.

London girlsays:

@Lo, there’s a very apt saying that you can judge a person by the company he keeps, there is another saying that birds of a feather flock together.

There are very few of the sb bloggers who participate in this blog who aren’t talking to us from a planet in outer space, the “ladies” -and I use the word advisedly- that you so admire are with few exceptions in dire need of some serious psychiatric care for their delusions and the fact that you so blindly follow their every word and seek to emulate them says more about your intelligence than theirs.

#1- The blogger who claims to live and work in a country that I happen to know better than my own, I seriously doubt she has ever set foot in said country never mind lived there as anyone who has spent so much as a long weekend there would very quickly pick up on, she does give some quite good advice on occasion but the fact that she quite obviously feels the need to lie about a very basic and fairly inconsequential fact is odd and for that reason alone I would doubt her credentials.

#2- The “published author”. I question if you should actually be calling yourself a published author if you are self-published? Claiming your novel is in the competition for a national prize may be technically true, but if you have entered said competition yourself is it strictly accurate? Quoting supposed reviews of your genius may make you sound quite clever but judicious editing can make anything sound better than it actually is, please feel free to ask her to quote you some of her real “reviews”.

I could go on and continue with many others, my point really is that if you’re going to seek advice from anyone then you really should take a little more care from whom you take that advice. Gratuitously insulting someone who sought only to help you shows a lack of basic manners.

Where are all the. True. Daddies?

Spicey,says:

TraderJ-

I have been very fortunate, I’ve had a limited number of SDs (in addition to the comfortable income I make on my own) and I enjoy being treated like a Princess. But, I don’t need Sugar – PS I treat my SDs very, very, very well! So, I have the luxury of being selective. Some SBs don’t seem to enjoy that same luxury, which I respect.

I was precise in my profile, careful in my responses, and had a look and attitude that appeals to certain men and made it clear that I have specific opinions regarding what “Princess treatment” means to me (because I already make a very nice income, that isn’t a couple hundred bucks a week). My approach, appeal, and expectations have resulted in an allowance that you would probably say only a “blind, bed ridden man would give.”

Curious, what is that amount, and why?

Then you say: All the talk about price, value and [sic] worth …. But the question of value is NOT what you think YOU are worth it’s what someone else is willing to provide. That is the whole point of worth.. you can choose to believe your value or worth is whatever you want of course, but others that might not agree are not wrong …

So, that said, is an SB supposed to be excited by every offer? Even if it’s only a quarter of what other SDs (multiple being a key point here) have given her? If she has enough data points saying that I will happily give you “Y” then doesn’t that become her market value?

Now, if she sets her allowance requirements at a certain number and isn’t getting any responses, then you’re probably right, and she’s probably overestimated her appeal.

This is an honest question: why do some SDs on this blog get so upset by SBs who’ve got enough data points to understand what we can reasonably hold out for?

Beach_Girlsays:

Hello Sugars

FBSD & gtt_envy~ Some people don’t mind that their SDs have access to Facebook or Twitter, I don’t see how that is a deal breaker. But if it bothers you, you should delete yourself from her account!

TraderJ~First off, Welcome to the blog. It takes time to find the right SB or SD, you need to search. I know some SBs feel entitled and spoiled. There are not all like that, everyone wants what they want, it doesn’t mean they will get it.
I know a lot of SBs that want 2-3k a month, some, less. It’s not always about worth but need. I know that I need it for my business and to be able to be more at ease with life. Most here, I think, like to be with their SDs or ex SDs, It’s something for me that is important.

Have a good evening, back to work for me 😀

Spicey,says:

So, my opinion about the success of an SD struck a nerve and I decided to look at how SA defines an SD for guidance (I’ve been wrong before, once, a long time ago):

“You are always respectful and generous. You only live once, and you want to date the best. Some call you a mentor, sponsor or benefactor. But no matter what your desires may be, you are brutally honest about who you are, what you expect and what you offer.”

Okay, so no requirements of success, financial stability, or establishment in life. So, I’ll look at the SB definition.

“Attractive, intelligent, ambitious and goal oriented. Sugar Babies are students, actresses, models or girls & guys next door. You know you deserve to date someone who will pamper you, empower you, and help you mentally, emotionally and financially”

So, seeing that the final expectation is “financially” it seems only fair that an SB should expect her SD to have a career that allows for “financial pampering” I also believe that an SD should expect “pampering” as well.

But, if I’ve misunderstood, please let me know

Spicey,says:

Lo! Lollllll!!!!!

DianaSBinOCsays:

~@Daniel, definitely a difference once you dig deeper. I have a friend who is a hobbyist and he pays nothing to see verified escorts like $250/hr for rock your world sex! If I were looking for just something physical then I’d be a freaking idiot for having a SB because it is so much more expensive.

I agree with this only partially. $300-$500 tops is typically the hourly rate for most escorts. There are the ex porn stars and models that typically can charge more about 600+ per hr. Plus these women are quite talented in the bedroom. Why have a sugar baby? Well for many men they don’t necessarily want to be in line with other men. They are just a number in a list of others a “clients” if you will. Escorts still do dinner with their clients but again he still has to pay that fee per hour. A weekend getaway may be a discounted rate but generally anywhere between $2,000+ a weekend. Everything is scheduled. From sleep to the amount of time the act can happen and her requiring personal time during that weekend.

So in respect to the real numbers an escort is far more expensive than any sugar baby allowance being offered. Think about the time desired. An escort is not going to sit and text message the same client all day. Text messaging or calling would be reserved for appt. booking only. After so many questions she would probably label him a “time waster” and move on to real clients that know what they want and aren’t going to go through 50 questions of what she offers.

So to sum things up any john / hobbyists would seek a sugar baby out because of the serious reduction in cost. $300-$500 per hour or $300-$500 per hour-less meet. This is why there are offers being sent to Sbs here of $200-$500 a meet.

Even if we go with $250 per hour rate of an escort , dinner, fun time and 6 hours later she’s walking away with roughly $1500 just for that one night. If he were to do this once a week she’s would hit about $6000 a month. See that adds up fast not to mention the other men she’s also seeing. Now these may not be typical incomes but I’m just laying out the facts of hourly escort rates and why many of their clients don’t leave the room.Sure they may have a few that want more than just sex but when the vast majority think of the cost per hour that they feel it’s better spent in the bedroom rather than talking over dinner.

If you read over escort blogs you’ll catch a few that discuss their clients suggesting they become their sugar baby instead. Of course they laugh them off thinking how dare they push into my for hourless fun that would never come close to the structure rate benefit. What you pay for 2-4 hours for an escort in most cases equates to one month allowance of a sugar baby. They also get asked to go out to dinner for free which is where the client receives a nice thanks but a firm no since the man in question isn’t looking to pay. Let’s not forget the escorts that do half hour rates at $175 more or less.

A sugar baby in essence is a bargain when compared to what escorts do and the limited amount of time they give to each client. A sugar daddy is receiving true value at a fraction of the cost sugar dating through this or similar sites.

FatBastardSDsays:

Last word about Spicey’s comments. Many SB posters don’t see anything offensive. Seems like all of the SD posters do. I guess the only conclusion is that the SD posters are wrong. I mean when you hit the person infront of you the logical thing to do is to ask the person behind you if that hurt.

TraderJsays:

Pretty new to this site, but have had a couple of long(ish) SB relationships in my past. Am currently looking for a new one now and somewhere, don’t recall where I was pointed to SA. Have been a member for about three weeks I think, not sure I will continue after this first month is over. I have nothing against the site I guess it caters to a group of people that I am just not either a part of or comfortable being a part of, might be my issue no idea. Or perhaps just the type I am looking for is not in high supply here.

I am always struck by how many of the profiles I have read for SB state a price range that my mind simply can’t get my head around how they possibly can imagine anyone beyond a 75 year old bed ridden blind man would pay.

I actually came across a profile the other night from a quite attractive girl asking for 10k plus, but made it quite clear it was to be platonic only, I wonder what in her world would make this girl believe that just being in the same general vicinity of her would make paying her that kind of money worth it? Not because I think sex is the basis for such arrangement, but rather she by her own words has shown such a massive rigidity and closed mindedness I would click off her profile without even caring about anything else she wrote.

All the talk about price, value and it is worth it, or rather as some of the more vocal SB on this blog talk about I’m worth it and I know it. But the question of value is NOT what you think YOU are worth it’s what someone else is willing to provide. That is the whole point of worth.. you can choose to believe your value or worth is whatever you want of course, but others that might not agree are not wrong, they just have a different opinion/view of YOU vs. how you see you. Neither is right or wrong it’s just what it is.

The city in which I live is expensive, hard to find a home here for under 2MM those that are in that price range and rightly so are sold for land value only and considered fixer upper projects. People that don’t live in the area always talk about how over priced it is and how it’s not “worth” it. But it is to me and the people that live here, we value all the things this area offers us that quite frankly are hard if not impossible to find anywhere else. Nobody gets to choose for anyone else what they value…

For the record of all the people I’ve seen post on here or the few I’ve met from the site so far Jersey Darling seems like the type of personality I would most like to meet. Does not seem to have an over inflated ego or closed mind and is willing to give anyone a chance to at least make their case to her. I find her refreshing and far more interesting than the other “look at me, look at me” SB that post here, generally speaking of course not all the others act that way but enough do that it’s easy to spot.

Anyway that’s my War & Peace, had no intentions of running at the mouth (KB) for that long please excuse my long winded nature.

FatBastardSDsays:

@gtt_envy

If it is NSA then having access to Facebook, Twitter of the SB is a mistake. You can have a great time together but when you are apart you should not worry about your SB. If you find that this is not possible I think you have moved beyond a NSA arrangement and you should change SB’s or be honest with the one you have that you would like something more.

Curious what other people feel about this next point.

Some people hate the allowance discussion but I think it really brings you back to reality quickly. It is easy to get lulled into thinking that meeting a SB is like normal dating, but once money comes into play you really asses the situation with open eyes. Is this person really that much prettier, younger, more interesting that someone I would normally ask out to justify paying them? It also makes telling a SB you are choosing someone else a lot easier because the business transaction feeling removes the guilt you may have normally turning someone down.

Also a question for the other SD’s. How do you feel when a SB openly states that she wants a discrete relationship (where it is clear she feels embarrassed being seen with you). Can you accept that or is it a deal breaker?

Losays:

adding onto my last comment, I think that’s why I like SD profiles that mention they prefer an SB with her own life and goals such as pursuing a degree etc. I would hope they would understand how much time and focus it takes to do these things and not expect all day, everyday texting.

Losays:

As far as communication frequency I am comfortable with a couple emails each day. But if my SD expected thirty or more texts a day I think that would give me anxiety. Like if I go study for the GREs for a few hours where I need full focus to work out problems and understand what I’m doing, is he going to be expecting texts? Must I give him a warning beforehand so he knows I’ll be away for a few hours? A youngish potential SD who got done with work by two pm and had others running his businesses for him, would be texting me literally all day with comments, questions, photo requests. I was so exhausted and annoyed by all of this that I blocked his number lol. Nothing sexier then a man with his own life who isn’t needy ;D

Losays:

Well in response to the whole “time of month” ordeal because it does seem to be repeatedly brought up, I never went through with it as intuitively I did feel it was odd and thus my lowering of allowance did not happen. We are working out the kinks that have occurred in the beginning of our arrangement. As far as Treasured’s post I do agree that the nature of an escort’s work entails that she sees different clients each week and does not maintain communication with them in between meets other than to briefly schedule future appointments.

Madridistasays:

@Daniel — If you have been with someone for 6 months and their communication skills (or lack thereof, in this case) bothers you, why not say something to her? I agree communication is important, especially in sugar relationships, so it goes both ways. If past SDs, I’ve texted and emailed during busy weeks and talked on the phone during not such busy weeks, but not every day. It varied though from person to person, so frequency is very dependent on other factors. I also travelled a lot for my work, so I’d always warn my SD that some days/weeks I’m unreachable by phone (international calls are a pain due to time difference), so I’d use email or Skype (only if time difference isn’t big and we’re both in a mood to catch up). You should tell her right now that her communication skills can be a deal breaker for you and that to continue the arrangement she should change them. You need to be very upfront about communication though, especially once you start an arrangement, because if you never mentioned it to her, then how is she supposed to know that you’d prefer to hear from her more often?

Danielsays:

“So, where is the difference? The most obvious should be, that a SB doesn’t see 3 new guys every day. And, that the communication goes WELL beyond the bedroom area (at least, for me ) Basically, I am not being paid for my sexual favours. Those come as something natural in an adult relationship.” I would agree with your view as well but as has been posted in the past some sugar babies have had their allowance (or pay per meet) lowered due to the inability to be sexually active during their er..umm monthly visitor. Also “3 new guys every day” is in most cases is 3 new guys every few days. There are those that receive their desired allowance from one or two SD’s then there are those that see quite a few. If she’s meeting the $200 a meet types then perhaps that covers one book and a notepad. That will obviously not be enough to cover any real tuition costs.

SB vs. Escort: Maybe I’m too strict or old fashioned, but I’m a big believer in exclusivity with respect to the SD/SB thing. The multi-partner arrangement or pay-per-visit deal is much too close to prostitution for my taste. I’m inclined to agree with a friend of mine who is a seasoned SD when he said the two most crucial aspects for a successful long term SD/SB arrangement were exclusivity and communication. In his words, “Timesharing is for prostitutes and condominiums”.

gtt_envysays:

@Daniel, definitely a difference once you dig deeper. I have a friend who is a hobbyist and he pays nothing to see verified escorts like $250/hr for rock your world sex! If I were looking for just something physical then I’d be a freaking idiot for having a SB because it is so much more expensive.

I, just like you am looking for much more of a girlfriend like experience. We talk, we txt, we share, we joke, we go on fun dates or spend weekends together. The minute the communication dies down or becomes stale I get bored and it starts to feel all transactional and robotic.

We txt probably 10-50 times a day it just depends on the day. My current SB is better at this than me lol. I’ll ask “What are you doing?” she is honest as a heart attack “Just with my BF and friends about to go and see a game!” she is always sweet, always goodnight and good morning texts, we talk occasionally, but I’m not a fan of the phone is real life let alone SB life.

A lot of girls aren’t just saying let’s meet and get naked!! It’s far worse it’s more like YOU JUST GIVE ME MONEY BECAUSE I’M AROUND YOU AND ISN’T THAT GOOD ENOUGH? Or they will kill the mood with “We are gonna meet for a couple of months before anything physical, right?” or ” We can do things just no sex okay cause that’s special”

It’s times like that when I remember at it’s crux the physical piece is paramount at some point, but the communication piece is equally important too.

Good luck @Daniel I couldn’t handle not hearing from my SB daily it will irk my soul!

Madridistasays:

Oh, no, the dreaded prostitution vs SB discussion. I think Treasured said it best “A good SB is the most perfect mistress.” I guess this topic is like that proverbial dead horse, it’ll just keep being beaten no matter what.

@Spicey — I could just kiss you for what you said,
“calibrate your expectations appropriately” — this is the best advice for SDs and SBs, but especially for SDs who want a ferrari of a SB for a price of a bicycle.

I don’t get why some SDs here complain about Spicey’s comments. She never insulted anyone and never any of her comments read derogatory to aspiring SDs. The point that I got was that some men are not at the point in their life where they can be SDs, like there are many women attractive or otherwise, who are not ready to be SBs. That’s not to say that they can never be, but just not presently because it’s not just what you do, but how much resources you have to lead a sugar lifestyle.

@Dorky — I’m not sure I get the gender reversed analogy because if a woman can only carry a convo about Twilight, lacks basic knowledge (i.e. misspelling the names of her coveted designer, Gucci), and constantly cancels and late, then she has no right to call herself a SB. If you’re basing this analogy on your experience then you haven’t been seeing real SBs, but SB-wanna be’s. What you described are not on here for the lifestyle of SB, but because they saw some B.S. advert about this site and got on here because of what it promised, not because they’re into sugar lifestyle. Real SBs don’t do the things your analogy listed.

@Daniel
Dump her! I’ve had the same thing happen, but it was gradual. Started well, ended in December at a hotel in Wisconsin Dells with me watching her at 5AM logged into SA on my laptop, filling out appointments on her phone calendar. She went from SB to escort. When she’s not responding to you, she is OBOing, weighing her best offer.

Is the blog acting funny or is it just me???
Maybe it’s just knowing that there is a SNOW storm coming… YES, I said SNOW crap….
I really need a vacation in the sun!

Beach_Girlsays:

Hello Sugars! 😀

MadMadMadisonMan~ I don’t think lying should be part of a profile lol… but a lot do! Being honest is better in my opinion.
On SD profiles, it’s good to see what they actually want. For me, age is a factor, not everyone wants someone my age or older than the average SB. Although I don’t look my age…:D

Daniel~ Communication is key, it’s how you keep the spark going. I think text or messages etc is important. The frequency I have had is every 2-3 days. It’s light and fun. Sometimes pics, a note…
And I agree with Treasured, it’s a relationship without all the strings of regular dating. For me, there needs to be chemistry and yes, I get emotionally involved. Not in the LOVE kind of way, but you have to care about that person, friends with benefits type! And yes, I wish every SD would read Treasured’s comment too… some just don’t get it!

Danielsays:

@Treasured- Good answer regarding SB vs. prostitute. If I wanted an “escort on retainer” relationship, I could get one any time (and for a lot less $ than what I’m paying now) but that’s not what I’m looking for. As you said, the problem is finding a GOOD one. Too many SBs (especially the young ones) think all they have to do is show up and get naked for a couple hours each week, and then disappear until the next visit. Many don’t understand that this is a relationship (unconventional, yes), and ALL relationships require some sort of effort to remain viable. My current SB is a prime offender. We’ve been together for about 6 months and her communication skills have been poor from Day 1, and she will sometimes go out of town for several days at a time without a single communication. Her phone is an appendage of her hand, so I know damn well she can take 30 seconds to let me know what’s going on. I’m seriously considering dumping her because of this but I don’t like to give up easily, so I’m still working on it. I’m interested in hearing about everyone’s opinion/practices on SD/SB communication (i.e., frequency, text/email/phone, etc.)

DianaSBinOCsays:

@ Treasured

“So, where is the difference?
The most obvious should be, that a SB doesn’t see 3 new guys every day.
And, that the communication goes WELL beyond the bedroom area (at least, for me )
Basically, I am not being paid for my sexual favours. Those come as something natural in an adult relationship.”

I would agree with your view as well but as has been posted in the past some sugar babies have had their allowance (or pay per meet) lowered due to the inability to be sexually active during their er..umm monthly visitor.

Also “3 new guys every day” is in most cases is 3 new guys every few days. There are those that receive their desired allowance from one or two SD’s then there are those that see quite a few. If she’s meeting the $200 a meet types then perhaps that covers one book and a notepad. That will obviously not be enough to cover any real tuition costs.

@Beach_Girl
I am 72.5 inches tall. That’s 6′ 1/2″, but I round up to 6’1″, is that OK? Interesting point you have, I probably need more lies on my profile to attract the right one, but I’m just not doing that, I’m a pretty good catch.

@Treasured
Bravo for that description. I wish all potential SBs would read it before they sign up.

Treasuredsays:

faco says:
April 9, 2013 at 8:13 pm
I asked about one week ago: What is the main difference between SBs and traditional prostitutes? Any answer is acceptable for me. I am just curious about our modern perception of very old matters.

It has been discussed long and hard on the blog. Some thing SBs are not related to prostitutes whatsoever. Some think that that is the same as an average escort girl.

I am not going to go into “emotional” connection – believe me, some prostitutes have a very emotional connection with their clients.
And I do not believe in the whole “I will be with you even if you don’t give me Sugar”.
And, re choosing the person a SB wants to have sex with…. WELL, escorts can turn away too at the last minute, I think.

So, where is the difference?
The most obvious should be, that a SB doesn’t see 3 new guys every day.
And, that the communication goes WELL beyond the bedroom area (at least, for me 😉 )
Basically, I am not being paid for my sexual favours. Those come as something natural in an adult relationship.
I would say, it is more like supporting a person, whom you care about. And who cares about you.

So, on the whole. A prostitute is a prostitute. A GOOD SB is the most perfect mistress (the problem is to find a good one).

gtt_envysays:

@Gallo, my previous and current SB’s said the biggest problem is guys talkig the talk, but not walking the walk. Endless emails, pics, last minute cancellations, boring dates, that it get’s old. Yes, I’m sure well written is a good start!

Question? I know this is NSA or quasi NSA, but I still don’t like seeing pics of my SB and her boyfriend…….lol. I’m sure many a SB who has seen their SD with his family could say the same, right?

Maybe being friends on Instagram wasn’t such a good idea after all……!! Or maybe if she didn’t post a pic a day of them together that would help too. I know double standards etc etc have a good night all.

FBSD~ SDs have to join to be able to send and receive messages. It is the way the site makes money, but Brandon Wade has said numerous times that you don’t have to be rich to be a SD…

Beach_Girlsays:

Hello Sugars!
What a long ass day, so glad it’s over!

Gallo~ There was useful information not long ago about profiles, there use to be a place where you can search the blog, but I can’t find it.
I would say, be yourself, a little descriptive of what you like and not too long. Some SDs have long profiles and I think it’s too much. Short description of what you are looking for, the type of arrangement you want, etc. That would be helpful. Some people add what type of lady they want (height, of a specific race, age) good to know if you are like me, older than most 😀 Also, some have mentioned that saying if you want a SB close to you or if it’s ok that she is out of state or country. Profiles are hard for some, I never know what to write. You have to try a few ways, maybe ask some SBs here to look at your profile for tips too, that is always helpful
Have I used helpful enough ??? lol.

Guru~ What happened to the useful tips that were on the side here? It was useful for newbies, you should bring it back

Gallosays:

Thanks, Treasured!

1) It would be strange, at least for me, to have no emotional connection (walking that line between loving someone and being in love with them, or just a friendship) with a SB. I would want to enjoy spending time with them, and talking with them about anything at all.

4) “Hey, how are ya?” 😀 I get it. I’ve notice that a good portion of SB profiles leave you with nothing to say about them in terms of hobbies, interests, passions, their personalities, or maybe the pictures they posted.
What makes for a good, “attractive” SD profile besides the obvious financial aspect of the arrangement and actually being who you say you are?

I’m guessing a well written SD profile can go a LONG way here. I get the feeling a good profile is hard to find on the site?

FatBastardSDsays:

@Jersey Girl

I assumed that wealthy SD subscriptions have already reached a limit (I mean how many men can really afford high allowances) so that increasing the ratio but discouraging poor SD’s would not increase revenue. Perhaps there are many more wealthy SD’s waiting to join though.

FatBastardSDsays:

@Jersey Darling

The site income is primarily generated by SD subscriptions, and the SD’s are attracted by the SB/SD ratio. I see you point I think as discouraging SD’s who provide lower allowances may attract more SB’s by word of mouth recommendations from other SB’s who have high allowances. But how does this increase SD subscriptions ( I can see it keeping the current subscribers happy though).

Is the SA site going for an exclusive club feel the kind where “your money is not good here sir” is the attitude (to the delight of those who have a vendetta against Athlete’s Foot managers). Are they going for a mass market approach where new SD’s have to join to increase revenue?

(have to write in English so people do not feel like “американский по средине красной площади здесь” citation from 2 months ago and then do not remember how they felt and with who. )

Tinasays:

Oh my, looks like I missed a lot with the few days I wasn’t able to read. I’m still crossing my fingers about getting the job I was interviewed for at my current company last week. I’ll know in a few days one way or another 😉

Hi Beachy! Hi Genuine SD! Hi Gtt! Howdy Dorky! Hope I said hi to the “regulars” that haven’t been on much lately when I have been…..

As someone said, there are different arrangements for everyone. I tend to have a different perspective on a few things than most, and see sugar as a bonus to my current life. If someone is going to give me a part of their life that they worked hard to earn, I’m not going to criticize how much they give. However, if they are demanding what I feel is more than they are giving, then the arrangement isn’t for me. I can’t put a dollar amount on what my ideal allowance is, because I’m a very strong practitioner of the non-monetary gifts (mentoring, trips, networking, etc.).

Noob_SDsays:

@Beachgirl – I wish I could tell you where to buy women’s shoes. It is something I didn’t study in depth. My comment was based on the longevity of some of the shoes I had seen ladies that I have known buy – the name brands aren’t necessarily the best.

All of my knowledge is on men’s shoes. My shoe collection stems from what I learned years ago in styleforum and askandyaboutclothes. The following is a comprehensive link to some of the best shoemakers. There is more to it than the shoe makers – construction method (Goodyear welted), material (corrected grain leather Vs top grain), and of course style (English traditional vs Italian – tends to be more fashion forward, usually).

I have a liking for R.M Williams (Australian) boots – and they do make womens’ boots as well

DianaSBinOCsays:

There are only a small portion of SD’s on this and similar sites that offer the 10,000 per month and upward allowances. The vast majority wil typically seek the $200-$500 a meet. You can easily tell that’s what is being offered based on the reviews and comments.

A $1500 allowance where you see the SB once a month is more pretty fair in my opinion.

I also agree that the fake SD’s are a problem but they pay their membership so that’s mostly all that’s required of them. If the true SD’s became verified, I think it would set a tone for the entire site that non verified=not worth a response.

WCSDsays:

@Jersey – “Thank god I never realized my looks were an asset until later in life” – To me that is the holy grail of women (whether sugar or not). Finding someone who is hot, but grew up the ugly duckling are generally the ideal women for me. She has confidence in herself now, is obviously attractive, but usually a much more down to earth attitude.Where I find most of the time women who were always attractive and doted on in that manner are much more delusioned and high maintenance than they are worth. Again, generalization, and doesn’t apply to all by any means. I look at it the same for someone with money. Born with it…can be a bastard about it. Had to work for it…they are usually much more down to earth about it.

Sidenote: I’m absolutely thrilled that a majority of the occupation pie chart shows entrepreneurs. I knew I was still on this site for a reason! 😀

Jersey Darlingsays:

@Fat Bastard:
“The statistics on allowance, and income are gathered (almost exclusively) through self reporting which implies that they are useless except as a marketing tool to attract more SB’s”

Or possibly deter SDs whom as a result of those numbers feel inadequate. I posted above that the average allowance, based on my experience, is closer to $2K – and I live in a high cost of living area and it doesn’t always come with easy expectations.

“We secretly believe you would date us without an allowance.”

Shh, it’s a secret but sometimes we would date you without an allowance. Keep in mind, the SDs who I would have dated without an allowance are the ones who courted me and saw their support as an extension of that.

Re: The manager in the Athlete’s Foot story, one of the reasons why I relate so strongly to the man in that story and am so “tolerant” (or more aptly put, respectful) is because I myself am fighting that same battle right now as a woman working my way up. I’m not sure how women who are students, writers (how high is your income again without sugar?), or any person who’s had to work to support themselves can turn their nose up at that. Whether or not $1K is a lot of money to you, how many hours would it have taken you to earn that money without sugar? It appears that some women have been born being able to get everything they want from men, whether it was from their father or their sugar daddy. Thank god I never realized my looks were an asset until later in life. Cross your fingers ladies that you never get hit by a bus and end up disfigured.

@GTT, I think your allowance is great. For one time a month that’s killer, and again I find it hard to believe that a woman who isn’t already well off and has actually has to work for her money would look down her nose at that if she feels any sort of connection with you.

Beach_Girlsays:

FatBastardSD~ I think personality, great convo and a spark is all that is needed. Chemistry and communication.. I don’t get the lies, but if you feel better, go for it!
I think most guys don’t know how to measure lol… everything is … more 😛 lol
I think that some SDs are less wealthy than others, doesn’t make them wrong or bad. I know this one SD, he is extremely wealthy, he doesn’t dress the part and even spends a lot of time in his stores to work with employees.
I do agree that there shouldn’t be disrespect to SDs or SBs.

GenuineSD~ Hey you!!!!:D So nice to see you
Ahhh…. I need a beach vacation 😀

I agree that the vibe here is very different, I’ve been called a troll here and more, but I am not. Some of you know me… I am here to get advice, give advice, to laugh (sometimes it gets really funny), it’s a little escape too, from my everyday life.
We should all remember that it’s an anonymous blog, we can either choose (or is it chose?) to answer when someone is mean or ignore. It’s a computer, you can always yell at the screen and walk away 😀

I need my work day to be over already… but, I am off to work again.
See you later sugars 😀

GenuineSDsays:

@ Beach_Girl
Hey there ! It’s good to see you on the blog again.
It’s sunny and warm and the beach is fine here.. !

GenuineSDsays:

@DorkyGuy
Well said. I’m one of those long time blog SDs who’s put off by the lack of tolerance and the condescension that seems to have proliferated on the blog recently.
I do not visit with regularity any more, because… well, who needs the attitude?

Treasuredsays:

Sorry, double post

FatBastardSDsays:

@gtt_evny

I pay a bit more, but then again I have to! I have no doubt that a younger guy can be successful on the site with the allowance you provide.

The fake SD profiles do cause problems. Have you ever had a situation where a SB blows you off only to contact you later desperate to meet? You find out that she was convinced some guy was going to give her $20K/month just to have dinner with him. When she realized the truth you suddenly looked a lot better…

@Beach_Girl:

Of course there is nothing wrong with Spicey wanting a particular type of guy, but when you insult Athlete’s Foot, well that’s just not right.

Guys lie because we hope that our personality will win you over. We believe that we look younger than our age. We believe we are better looking than our pictures show. We secretly believe you would date us without an allowance. Please let us have these lies, they make things bearable sometimes.

@Frank

Might have been Dirty Bastard Beer.

@Dorky

Jeffery Ross is great but I bet he gets enough women as is. Humor and money are a great combination!

Treasuredsays:

@ All the kiddies.

What was it about playing nicely?

Re read all the Spicy’s posts, and not in a single one found any references of her minimising. putting down guys, who work their way up.
HER point was, if you are idea of being a SD is to save up to take a girl to the 3* hotel in a nearby small town and give her 200$ cash – you might have to compromise on a a quality of the girl

IMHO – THAT is not a SD. THAT is a relationship. BUT, for some people, it might work just fine.
Just don’t expect a girl looking like a model to do that.

Re allowances in general.

Different amounts work for different people. There are 1000$ SB and 1000$ SD, who are perfectly happy with each other. And, if it works for them – great.

I am not. Spicy is not. Some other girls might not be.
A waitress in a Littletown might think that all her Birthdays have come into one.

Brought from the past topic

“I fall into the 5th group, a man who hit the 30 age mark not too long ago, and is rather new to the sugar world (yes, I’m not interested in traditional dating route-with the goal of marriage or a serious commitment right now).

How do SBs look at those in the 5th group? Do you always associate age with maturity, wealth (sold my first company last year), generosity, manners (looking at my gentlemen peers, I feel bad for the ladies out there) and a certain charm?

Having read all of the great advice here and on select blogs, I’ve certainly comfortable with what I can offer, and not just financially, but emotionally and mentally. I also have understand, thanks to the wisdom of the SBs and SDs here, how to treat and respect the process itself.

A few questions:
1) Do you almost see such arrangements as a “love affair” (not necessarily in the married sense)?

I see it as an “affair” full stop. Do I fall in love with my SDs – not really. Do I have tender feelings and desire some of them – YES, 100%.

2) Do you always enter the arrangement with a “time frame” of how long the arrangement should last?

No. I am not a flat for lease.
BUT, there are boundaries. And, as an adult, you have to be very mature when it finishes. Hence, I am friends with all if my ex SDs, but one (long story).

3) Does the sugar world basically change the entire notion of what is considered “attractive”? That doesn’t mean a beautiful women or a tall, athletic, good looking man aren’t still the attractive alphas anymore, or that a physical attraction doesn’t matter here, but do you look those who don’t have that blessed physical traits (short, not athletically gifted, ect.) different if they have the resources, personality, and generosity that you might not pick up in the real world?

For me I have limits. If you are too fat, too unhealthy, too old and too disgusting in general – no amount of money will buy me. BUT, thankfully, I am in a really comfortable position, where I can choose the man I want to be with.
Most girls are not that fortunate.

4) Best first message advice?

Read my damn profile before contacting me. Use the information you have read. And, NEVER write such pearls of intellectual power like “How are you” and “Hey”.

Dorky-I hope your daughters are on the four year plan, and not the seven year plan like I was. (Of course some of those years I was working in worse places that a shoe store)

Treasuredsays:

@ All the kiddies.

What was it about playing nicely? 😉

Re read all the Spicy’s posts, and not in a single one found any references of her minimising. putting down guys, who work their way up.
HER point was, if you are idea of being a SD is to save up to take a girl to the 3* hotel in a nearby small town and give her 200$ cash – you might have to compromise on a a quality of the girl 😉

IMHO – THAT is not a SD. THAT is a relationship. BUT, for some people, it might work just fine.
Just don’t expect a girl looking like a model to do that.

Re allowances in general.

Different amounts work for different people. There are 1000$ SB and 1000$ SD, who are perfectly happy with each other. And, if it works for them – great.

I am not. Spicy is not. Some other girls might not be.
A waitress in a Littletown might think that all her Birthdays have come into one.

**Brought from the past topic**

“I fall into the 5th group, a man who hit the 30 age mark not too long ago, and is rather new to the sugar world (yes, I’m not interested in traditional dating route-with the goal of marriage or a serious commitment right now).

How do SBs look at those in the 5th group? Do you always associate age with maturity, wealth (sold my first company last year), generosity, manners (looking at my gentlemen peers, I feel bad for the ladies out there) and a certain charm?

Having read all of the great advice here and on select blogs, I’ve certainly comfortable with what I can offer, and not just financially, but emotionally and mentally. I also have understand, thanks to the wisdom of the SBs and SDs here, how to treat and respect the process itself.

A few questions:
1) Do you almost see such arrangements as a “love affair” (not necessarily in the married sense)?

I see it as an “affair” full stop. Do I fall in love with my SDs – not really. Do I have tender feelings and desire some of them – YES, 100%.

2) Do you always enter the arrangement with a “time frame” of how long the arrangement should last?

No. I am not a flat for lease.
BUT, there are boundaries. And, as an adult, you have to be very mature when it finishes. Hence, I am friends with all if my ex SDs, but one (long story).

3) Does the sugar world basically change the entire notion of what is considered “attractive”? That doesn’t mean a beautiful women or a tall, athletic, good looking man aren’t still the attractive alphas anymore, or that a physical attraction doesn’t matter here, but do you look those who don’t have that blessed physical traits (short, not athletically gifted, ect.) different if they have the resources, personality, and generosity that you might not pick up in the real world?

For me I have limits. If you are too fat, too unhealthy, too old and too disgusting in general – no amount of money will buy me. BUT, thankfully, I am in a really comfortable position, where I can choose the man I want to be with.
Most girls are not that fortunate.

4) Best first message advice?

Read my damn profile before contacting me. Use the information you have read. And, NEVER write such pearls of intellectual power like “How are you” and “Hey”.

“

DorkyGuysays:

@GTT~ Let me put your mind at ease regarding my authenticity. I am not an active SD, and I’ve been forthright in disclosing that to anyone who asks. My situation is that I am putting two daughters through college, and that is where my disposable income goes. Once they’re through, the funds will be available for fun and frolics again. I don’t blame ya though.

Spicey,says:

Dorkybear –

You are such a sweetie. I am just trying to make the disgusting troll understand why women see him as disgusting. When you and I are gazing at each other across the table at the Cheesecake Factory you know I would never speak ill of anyone who provides us with service. But, that same server trying to give me his evening’s tips in exchange for a little bump and tickle is likening me to a cheap whore – I may be a whore 😉 (depending on how you define it, but I sure as hell ain’t cheap – except for you of course, dorkiekins).

For someone who calls themselves a morbidly obese creep to cast aspersions on MY character because I refuse to be treated like a cheap object who should openly and happily accept any and every man (INTO MY BODY!) just because he ‘saved up’ shows a complete lack of respect for me as a human, or as the divine creature which is the Truly Great SB.

Beach_Girlsays:

I don’t think we should attack someone because they are not the standard that we want. Whether its an SB or SD. Just my opinion

Beach_Girlsays:

People all want different things, I don’t think the foot locker guy is less of a SD than others that run a fortune500. There are SDs and SBs for everyone. Everyone wants something different and their needs are different. We shouldn’t attack someone for offering 1k a month or offering 10k+ a month. Their needs are different and they will attract the SB for them.
Spicey wants a bigger allowance and more perks, that is her wish. You might not want that, it doesn’t make her less of a person than the foot locker guy

Franksays:

Well said Fat Bastard.

BTW, that is the name of one of my favorite beers. Or was the name Arrogant Fat Bastard? I forget.

WCSDsays:

@Spicey – You fail to see Dorky’s point of view (again). He is not stating that you should expect to have a SD who is a night manager at Foot Locker, but that most of us weren’t born with a silver spoon in our mouth. We worked HARD to get to where we are, and by insulting the ‘little guy’ you are in effect insulting us.

“He just doesn’t want to have a woman expect him to be polite and considerate of her feelings.” – If the SD’s you are associating with are acting this way because they are a SD, then you need to maybe look at who you are dealing with. I expect to be polite and consider everyone’s feelings in any relationship that I’m dealing with. Kill them with a smile!

Beach_Girlsays:

Noob_SD~ How do you buy shoes? I love shoes but wouldn’t buy them if I had to pay other things. On my facebook there is a page called “Shoe Porn” lol It’s all the shoes I wish I had, could wear or just display

One thing that irks me, is that some SDs lie about their height…. do you not think we would find out that you’re not 6 feet tall??? Hello, I’m 5’9 in heels 6’1 so… makes me wonder what else they lied about…
I know, lots of people lie… but it makes me nutty!

gtt_evnysays:

@Fatbastard, ha ha ha yep and to think I’m a good catch too. Look at the turnover of SB’s on the site!! I’m not sure how long you have been on the site I’ve been on it for years and most guys are fake as fake can be. I question many people on the blog too for their authenticity some spend way way too much time here.

As a mid 30’s SD who provides 1500/mo, plus travel, plus gifts, and some really fun dates (Not the stereotypical nice restaurant nice hotel do me now) I do just fine. I should be noted my arrangements are different because I only go on 1 date a month the rest is just txt/talk.

If you are still saying less than 5k/mo is pennies you truly are a SB’s dream come true unless your frequency is insane or your requirements are. Just talking out loud!!

FatBastardSDsays:

What if the night manager is a student, artist, author, or perhaps he is pursuing some other passion and the night manager job at Athlete’s Foot is a way to make a living, you know like the SB claim to be using the allowance to help them pursue their dreams. Is he is deluding himself that he has no time for a relationship?

FatBastardSDsays:

@RussianSB:

Read and decide if a woman would be writing this!

@Spicey:

You are free to pursue whomever you wish!

Your attitude is well understood by any man who has asked women out on a date, and needs no elaboration, we get it. For many women being asked out on a date can be considered a personal attack if the person who asks is considered below her status. All men have encountered such a woman and experienced her outrage at being approached by an inferior man.

The interesting part is when an established successful man, say a SD, treats a woman of lesser status (in his opinion), say a SB, with that same contempt, the type of woman in the previous paragraph will be the first who is OUTRAGED, and HORRIFIED at how such a thing could happen.

This to some seems a bit strange.

The characters described above are for entertainment purposes only and are not ment to represent blog members living or dead.

DorkyGuysays:

@FatBastard~ If you live in LA… and given your sense of humor…. You *have* to be Jeffrey Ross! Or maybe his internet twin. You would make a terrific guest host for The Burn.

@Spiceyboo, the reason us guys get uptight about it doesn’t have anything to do with his qualifications as a SD. It’s like when you are out to dinner with your SD, and when the waitress walks away, he makes derogatory comments about her station in life and her appearance. When you are puzzled by his behavior, he says “I don’t see a problem. She’s not SB material.”

If that analogy doesn’t explain why guys are uptight about it, try this… take the same sarcastic paragraph, and instead of a SB degrading a guy’s qualifications as a SD, it is a SD degrading a girl’s qualifications as a SB.

Gender flipped:

“But, now that I have seen the error of my ways I say, ‘You’re tired of working so hard trying to lose that extra 75 pounds. Let me take you out to a nice restaurant, pamper, and worship you. I’ll buy you that new car you want. It’s ok if you’re two hours late, or cancel. I can wait. It’s ok if you don’t show me affection. I will take care of that later, thinking only of you. Did I mention that I am so appreciative that you can’t understand the simplest thing about the world we live in, and that our conversation is limited to Twilight and Goochie (your spelling)? Your constant complaining, excuses, and asking for stuff makes me want to claw my eyes out, but even so, I miss you every moment that we’re apart.”

Doesn’t it just feel gross to read that? If I had written that unprovoked, what would it do to your real opinion of me? Do I sound like a guy who has respect for women who don’t have anything to give me?

Another important reason the guys are uptight is that there is a big difference in how each of us perceives the FootLocker guy. Us guys respect the guy, because we’ve been there and we know how hard it is. Your paragraph exudes disdain for the guy, because he doesn’t have anything to give you.

Anyway… You have received feedback from others that it rubbed guys the wrong way. It’s not just me.

If you can’t see it, that’s ok. I’ve said more than enough on the topic, and won’t mention it again. And, of course I’ll still marry you my little Spicieboo! <3

I don’t like it that some people on this site see all SBs as cheap toys – as if we will all fall all over ourselves for $200, and if we don’t we are somehow a bitch.

The quality SBs (you can spot us by our classy pics and proper grammar and usage) are playing on a different field – calibrate your expectations appropriately.

Spicey,says:

I’m sorry, but I fail to see how it makes sense to have a sugar daddy who is less successful than his sugarbaby? How does that make him a sugar daddy? It just makes him a bad boyfriend or John (as some people on this blog think sugar babies are something to be saved up for and purchased – like a commodity).

When I list my career as “Published Author” and you see that my photos are of an attractive, fit woman and taken in Paris, Shanghai, and the Peninsula in Beverly Hills, why would you think I would be interested in you if you’re the night manager at Athlete’s Foot.

When developing relationships, find a girlfriend who is more appropriate for your CURRENT status. Or one of those girls who will date anyone who buys her dinner and gets her a nice pair of Ugg boots every now and again.

To some women a $50,000 year salary might be impressive. But, it’s going to be pretty easy to spot those women (and they aren’t on SA). For that guy to say he “needs” a sugarbaby because he doesn’t have time for a real relationship is to delude himself with self-importance. He just doesn’t want to have a woman expect him to be polite and considerate of her feelings.

FatBastardSDsays:

This information may explain why the bay area in CA is a poor location to look for SB’s. Too high of a SD concentration. In school we called the effect that this can produce the Ratio Induced Bitch Syndrome (RIBS). Compare to LA (where there is also a high concentration of attractive women because of the entertainment industry as well as two large universities).

@ gtt_envy

Less than $5K/Month, you must hate women!

The statistics on allowance, and income are gathered (almost exclusively) through self reporting which implies that they are useless except as a marketing tool to attract more SB’s (“I am a cute college girl and I can make $5K/month just by going to dinner, that what the site said!”). Once SB’s get on the site and interact they realize that $5K/Month is not something you wipe your ass with (which they assume from reading many SB posts/blogs) one of three things happen: They become angry blog posters, they leave the site, or they get arrangements with guys like you.

DorkyGuysays:

@JennSA/Brandon~ What methodology was used to come up with the numbers?

If you have a footnote with your methodology somewhere, media will have more confidence in the research behind the numbers, and it will get wider exposure. Obviously you wouldn’t want that in the infographic itself, but this blog post where you published it would be a terrific place for that.

Losays:

Thanks beach girl and thanks russian, seven cakes and one candle defffinitely like the way you think lol

Jersey Darlingsays:

@Dorky, from the previous thread:

“I am curious…. How many SDs have spent time on the same rung of the career path as the Athlete’s Foot guy, and can relate to him? I know I have.”

YES. This is one reason I will keep the allowance lower and keep my net wider open for the right person, though this applies to non-sugar relationships as well. Success, especially if it is self-made, usually does not happen overnight. That person who’s not quite there yet can have all the makings. I’m a work in progress myself too, so I keep an open mind toward others.

For what it’s worth, I go through the same thing dating guys my own age. As much as I’m attracted to powerful, successful men today, these guys are the powerful and successful men of tomorrow.

Noob_SDsays:

@BeachGirl from previous topic – On shoes, yes, I like shoes as well. Only wish the ladies would buy them, like I would – the ladies I knew didn’t – they usually bought crap. I used to frequent styleforum and askandyaboutclothes forums years back – these forums are for men BTW

@SB/SD turning into relationship – I am not sure I’d want it to turn into a BF/GF relationship. Whatever happened to the classic “mistress” type relationships? Or were they only for gossip and novels? There is a nice entry in Wikipedia which talks about what a mistress is and the distinction to a pro. Don’t want to repeat it again.

@Careers – I didn’t start in Footlocker – but like many people started at the bottom of the pyramid in an industry given up for good a little over a couple of decades back. It didn’t take me long to realize what it took to move “up”. Once you get noticed – doors open for you. Most ladies’ profiles here describe wanting men who are “successful” “driven”. I was all that and more. Then I realized what I am exchanging OR would have to exchange to keep headed in that direction – and I couldn’t do it. I have always been a humanist. I settled for something mundane, deliberately, pays well – I can be well-to-do, but probably never wealthy. And am happy that way.

Just went back and read through the above – too much”I” there I’ll stop doing that going forward, promise …

gtt_envysays:

So, can we clarify the 5K/mo avg. spent on SB’s in 2013? Maybe total expenditures used for SB activities I might believe, but if it’s 5k/mo for just allowance/gifts I definitely do not believe that is true.

I have had 6 SB’s now and have been more generous then their previous SD’s and I’m not near 5K/mo.

Spicey, don’t feed the troll ! Ake the World a better place ! I am sure it is Big and Fat, but I doubt its sex. You are brave girl, can you look under that green tale ?

DorkyGuysays:

@Spicey… I know that you are not being malicious and your heart is good:) This is a kind conversation.

I’m not saying that I was ready to be a sugar daddy. I am saying that I can relate to the front-line working class guys that SBs often proclaim themselves to be better than. And most guys can. Remember your audience, Spiceykins. When a women hears you say stuff like that, she feels empowered. When a guy hears it, he hears something entirely different… and it doesn’t look good. That’s one example of what I was talking about yesterday, and I know it’s not intentional.

Spicey,says:

Dorky – You I am sure could understand that when you were working the ranks at the retail grind you were not ready to be a sugar daddy. You hadn’t established yourself yet. A sugar daddy should be established, just as a sugar baby should be attractive (and sexual).

That’s kind of the most common denominator, isn’t it? Would you encourage shy, quiet homely girls to join SA?

My SD and Ia re in chicago is married, 35, and Lawyer. Gives me a great allowance. Good guy. I got pretty lucky for my first SD. Taking our first trip together to SF next month.

JennSAsays:

All personalities and perspectives are welcome in the blog, while personal attacks and name calling are not. It’s inevitable that there will be disagreements but let’s handle it as mature adults with class to keep the dialog constructive and respectful. Please refer to the “Blog Etiquette” for more details. For the newbies, please take a look at the “Sugar Daddy Dating Tips” section on the right for a list of commonly discussed topics and the “SD and SB Blog List” section to see the perspective of other sugars. Now comment away and let’s enjoy the blog!!

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