EVENTS

We dodged a bullet when Minnesota defeated the anti-gay marriage amendment

So that’s what they meant when they said gay marriage was a threat to my marriage — only they got it backwards.

I do feel some concern for my gay friends, though. It must be hard to live up to that stereotype of being absolutely fabulous all the time, and what if you don’t like show tunes or obsessive depilation or spending a fortune on stylish clothes? I think the next step in tolerance has to be to accept people as they are, not as the cliches tell us they are.

“I do feel some concern for my gay friends, though. It must be hard to live up to that stereotype of being absolutely fabulous all the time, and what if you don’t like show tunes or obsessive depilation or spending a fortune on stylish clothes?”

I think the next step in tolerance has to be to accept people as they are, not as the cliches tell us they are.

I agree — but don’t think this video is promoting the cliche as such. The exaggerated stereotype in this particular satire is there to make fun of homophobic fevered fantasies. Push it to the ludicrous extreme they make it and then turn it on them.

It’s a little like attacking racism by portraying Obama as throwing fried chicken and watermelon around the Oval Office while tap-dancing in spats on the desk. The liberal point of view is obvious because it’s so over the top. The humor doesn’t entail buying into a stereotype and thus perpetrating it, but mocking the stereotype and thus blowing it up.

I’m pointing my husband at that. (He reads your blog anyway). Not because he doesn’t support gay marriage – we both do – but because there’s a few obvious ideas in there that perhaps he ought to take notice of.

Truly, my greatest fear as well. How could I ever hope to be awesome enough to keep my wife’s attention if I must also must compete with teh gheys fabulosity as well as every other heterosexual male on the planet.

@me Not to mention the lesbians! How am I going to compete with the lesbian!!??!!?? Damn it! Everybody know that the lesbians are after our wives and daughters and that regular women are helpless against their sexy charmed. Doooooomed! Doooooomed I say!

“I think the next step in tolerance has to be to accept people as they are”

Accepting people as they are is the current step in tolerance not the next one. Broadening the in-groups would help a bunch too; this is the functional equivalent of dropping identity labels based on abstracts.

I think the next step in tolerance has to be to accept people as they are, not as the cliches tell us they are.

Despite being gay, I must disagree with you.
Groupthink/echo chamber and all that (imagine that-people think it’s groupthink when a bunch of people agree with one another).
Wouldn’t want people out there to think that all commenters mindlessly agree with you.

I think the “fabulous gay guy” stereotype is unusual. While it’s certainly confining and something to get rid of, it’s also partially the reason being gay has succeeded in going from unspeakably taboo to what it is today. I really can’t think of any other stereotype quite like it. If I were gay, I suspect I’d have somewhat mixed feelings.

I do not accept Dennis Markuze the way he is.
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“a working woman having a wife AND a gay guy?”

I would marry her/them. I would bring in part of the bread, but refer to them whenever it is time to repair stuff.
I would volunteer to cook, but after a while of suffering fried sausages and boiled potatoes with ketchup they would ban me from going near kitchen. I would not provide ethnic food, since lutafisk and fermented herring is kind of an acquired taste.

@razzlefrog, 24: The “fabulous gay guy” stereotype is just a “positive” stereotype. It neuters gay men and definitely erases non-white, non-middle-/upper-class experiences of men who have sex with men, but it is “non-threatening” so makes gays more acceptable.
They’re seemingly rarer, but no less destructive in erasing experiences and humanity.
Another group that has a similar issue with “positive” stereotype is the population of persons assigned the identity “Asian” in the United States. The “model minority” stereotype erases the many country origins of Asians and helps people to avoid accusations of racial discrimination by Asians, though it has helped Asians to be ignored for their benefit from former “Asian” stereotypes, such as the mendacious Chinese or World War 2 depictions of the Japanese.

The UK has civil partnerships (soon, if the political winds continue the way they are, proper marriage) for gay people. This weekend, I’m going to experience an unintended consequence of this. Some gay friends of mine are getting hitched, and I’m off on a stag weekend. Since they didn’t want to exclude half of their friends from their pre-nuptual celebrations, we’re going to be having the vile heresy of women at a stag do. It’s a sign of the apocalypse, I tell you!

(Just to preempt any misinterpretation, since sarcasm doesn’t work well in print: I’m really totally fine with this!)