Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I haven't posted anything since my father in law passed away. It's been hard dealing with all the feelings afterwards. Things I never counted on, such as Emily's grief. We've been working our way through
the pain and have kept living life as much as we can.

With that being said, I feel very inadequate right now. Basically Jerry and I have made it through this economic downturn without being caught in a financial rut. We've worked very hard at that by not buying outside of our means and going without things. We have hand me down couches, tables and chairs. Our carpet has stains and we cant afford to replace the flooring in our kitchen that is cracking. We have a chair cover over our recliner because we just don't want to spend money on a new chair. We would rather go on vacation to celebrate our 15 anniversary this year then buy new furniture.

Well, tonight Emily came downstairs and informed me that her room is too small and her bed is too big. She wants us to completely redo her room. She has a lot of crap in her room that I feel she could get rid of to make more room. We've offered to take out her nightstand, which would give her more room. She just isn't happy. I have given up so much for her lately, to keep her in swimming and keep improving in swimming. Now I'm suppose to give up anything I would get to improve my house because she doesn't like her room? Oh, and I failed to mention that Chris' mattress is on the floor because we don't have a frame for him yet. I don't hear him complaining.

I just have struggled to not work so I could be home with the kids. Now I physically can't do most jobs that require constant standing, therefor I have to do what I can. I see other folks taking their kids to Disney every year, or re do their kids room all the time, or give them all sorts of things. We just can't do it. We are just barely keeping our head above water and are going to keep doing that if we can.