Pillars of love

June 19, 2007|MAY LEE JOHNSON Tribune Staff Writer

SOUTH BEND -- "I feel like a rotisserie chicken," Josie Buchanon says, laughing. Her sons, Carl Jr. and Jarrod, have perfected a way of swooping her out of her wheelchair and into her favorite seat in the kitchen. "Those are my guys," she says, proudly. They've always been important to her, but she especially counts on them now. In 2001, Buchanon found out she has multiple sclerosis, a disease of the central nervous system. It's a disabling disease that cannot be prevented or cured. "When I left the hospital after discovering I had MS, we hit the Internet," she says. "I didn't even know how to spell Multiple Sclerosis, let alone what the symptoms were. "And as I read the list, it was as if I could tick off all the things associated with MS -- things like pins and needles, numbness, loss of vision, pain, balance problems, tiredness, dizziness and forgetfulness were all there, along with many other more frightening possibilities." She is a former track star, setting records at Western Michigan University. "I was a very active person who was on the go all the time," Josie said. She tears up thinking about how she had to tell her children she had MS. Carl Jr. remembers that day. At the time, he was thinking, "I'm not sure how this will affect her. How can I help her and lift her up? "Most parents try to protect their kids and sugar-coat things, but my mother was straight with us, just like she always has been. "I wanted to make sure I knew the bottom line, which for me was 'Are you going to die?' She told me it wasn't fatal, so I wanted to learn how best to care for her, and now we have it down pat." The boys are a working team when it comes to caring for their mother. Josie lifts her arms around Carl's tall frame, and he swings her into a chair at the kitchen table. Jarrod is there to make sure she is balanced and comfortable. She battles the disease with medicine, diet, positive thinking and family support. She had gone into a depression soon after the diagnosis. "I would cry and cry until finally my sons said, 'Mom, enough of the pity party. As long as it's not fatal, we can deal with it.' " She's remained reasonably healthy and continues to be the voice of reason in their house. Today she feels stronger than ever. She can't walk, but she does have feeling in her legs. On a bad day, she still cries a bit, but her sons and husband soon help her get over it. Carl Buchanon Sr. is a battalion chief with the South Bend Fire Department. Josie Buchanon's speech is as clear as ever. People often tell how her how good she looks. "Inevitably, our lives have changed, but I still live a good life," she said. "My friend, Sonya Davis, has found a way to take me riding. My sister-in-law helps me clean, and my husband and sons love me. "But I have learned a lesson about what is important. What is important is to be able to accept help from others, and that has been one of the hardest lessons to learn." Carl is headed to college at the University of Michigan. Josie admits she's a little sad but knows he has to get on with his life. Jarrod, at age 16, is ready and able to step in and step up. "I know how to take care of her," Jarrod says. "The only thing that worries me is when my dad is working and I'm at school. I hope she'll be all right, because as soon as I'm finished at school, I'll be heading home to see about her." Josie is determined to live the best life she can. "In many respects, it was a relief to know that there was a physical cause and that it was nothing I did," she said. "My family reminds me daily that we are in this together, and I try to thank them all the time just in case one day I forget." Staff writer May Lee Johnson:mjohnson@sbtinfo.com(574) 235-6326