October 10, 2006

Bold Predictions: US To Be "Major Player In Global Economy" in 2043. Also, Gerber 300MM Baby's Name: Juan

Never mind that it's actually just a sweepstakes, and that the name will be drawn from a pot--a melting pot, if you will. But whenever a reporter asks a purportedly serious demographer where Gerber's 300 Millionth American will be born and what color he'll be, they will happily make a prediction [I hope someone's tracking these on Google Maps]:

...that child most likely will be a Hispanic boy born in Los Angeles, predicts Richard Frey, a demographer with the Brookings Institution in Washington.

"What this represents is a return to the melting pot for America," Frey said [just to make sure his quote got in the paper].

And what bigger picture does Professor Frey paint, beyond the fact that this new spokesbaby will pronounce his benefactor's name "Herber"? Glad you asked;

Looking to 2043, he predicted that today's diverse, technology-minded young people will bring vitality and independent thinking to boost the United States as it competes with aging European nations.

"The fact that we have this melting pot generation, moving us ahead, will put us in very good stead to be a major player in this global economy," he said.

Yes, for five whole minutes in 2043, our kids will celebrate their major player status compared to Croatia--and then they'll get a pulse signal in their employee brainchips reminding them that the home office in Shanghai wanted that budget report, like, yesterday.