Carrie Prejean Sex Tape
Amy Phillips: Hi, baby. It's me, Carrie Prejean. You gotta learn how to say my name. I can't stop thinking about you. That's why I decided to make this very special tape. The only kind of tape that can exist between a man and a woman-an opposite sex tape. Not a same sex tape! Oh my gosh, just thinking about it gets me so excited! I'm gonna put some sexy music on!

[music playing]

Amy Phillips: I love Maroon 5! Cause I love the number five! Because it reminds me of you and me and the Father, Son, Holy Ghost. I'm so hot for you right now, I have to take off my towel. I haven't shaved my bush, and I won't until Bush is reelected. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is gonna happen. Oh, yes! Oh, deregulation! Ronald Reagan handshake! Yes! [singing high-pitched and off key] Oh, God bless America! Oh! Fuh-fuh-fuh Fox News! Oh! [heavy breathing] This will never end up being the biggest mistake of my life. Mission accomplished. Did you get all that?

Perez Hilton: Oh, yes! I got it!

Amy Phillips: Do you think this will help them with the book?

Perez Hilton: Definitely!

[high five]

[Both characters, singing off-key]: This love has taken it's toll on me, she said