How to learn to control their emotion

If the plasticity of the body is trained for long hours in the gym, the emotional flexibility requires daily work. The world constantly tests you (and your nervous system) for strength — it challenges waiting for you to react. And the main thing here is to react calmly and deliberately. About how to achieve it, read below.

Imagine: you go to the ring. You Boxing gloves — are you ready for battle. The Gong sounds. The game began. You immediately go on the attack. One punch, two, three — the opponent tries to Dodge, to place the block, but he really lacks skill. He retreats. You come. His attempts to attack lead to nothing — you can Dodge even the most powerful uppercut. Dodge and strike. You control every inch of the ring and know exactly when to defend and when to drive forward. Dexterity and physical flexibility in this case, make you invulnerable — they allow you at the speed of light to adapt to changing environmental conditions and to turn each following the attack at the starting point of a new attack. Sounds cool, agree? Now imagine that the same principle can be applied outside of an imaginary ring, namely in everyday life. We are talking about emotional flexibility — the ability to respond correctly to conflict and frustration (both at work and in personal life), the ability to control your mood and about sustainability before attempting the outside world to send you in a knockout.

The essence of emotional flexibility is to make human actions more deliberate and appropriate. To sustain a strategic pause and give first thoughts and the first impulses up to take over common sense. Expression and emotion is cool. Cool until then, until you begin to implode and throw at others with baseless suspicions and accusations. Cool as long as you don’t start to take offense at every occasion and flare like a match, if someone had the temerity to Express an opinion not similar to yours. Cool as long as colleagues and friends will start to avoid your society — it is hard to still communicate with a person who may at any moment explode, tell sea just, and then sincerely wonder why no one but him, did not consider excessive emotionality (and in fact is the emotional promiscuity) unlimited and universal excuse for all occasions.

Here are three bits of advice that will help you to act consciously and make decisions adequately to the circumstances.

Be aware of your feelings

Psychologists keep saying, ignoring your feelings only makes them stronger. And if you can’t fight them, so they need to make friends. Your task is to accept negative thoughts, to accept them as with bad weather, like rain, which, though difficult road from home to the office, but it is not a good enough reason to skip work and not go anywhere. Your emotions — positive or negative — are temporary, they can’t identify you. Let them be, but don’t let them hinder you from moving forward. Tough day at work or a quarrel with a colleague — not a reason to redraw their plans for the evening and to cancel the evening training session, or meeting with friends. Although it has nothing I want. Proceed on the basis of their own goals and values, and don’t let changeable mood (whether good or bad) to stand in your way.

Thinking globally

Imagine you are sitting in the workshop, and suddenly one of your colleagues takes the floor and begins to calmly Express your idea, blatantly passing it off as your own. What you want to do? Likely to interrupt the false of her to yell at him and get out of the boardroom, slamming the door. Now, before you start to storm out, ask yourself, what are you doing here? What do you expect from this meeting? What is more important — justice or continue to work with the team to achieve success and progress? Concentrating on more global and more meaningful goals, you will be able to make more informed decisions. And liar in any case you will be able to put in place, just do it differently — without compromising the working process and own reputation.

Be a friend of myself

Moral dilemma? I can not understand whether it makes sense to continue the dialogue or is it worth taking all the hopelessness of the situation and end the relationship? Don’t know how to be, if the team is at work against you is to update your resume and look for a new place or try to go to the dialogue? Ask yourself what advice would you give to a friend in a similar situation. Sounds easy, but hell, it works. This approach allows us to look at the situation from the outside and do what very few who are able to ignore. Give yourself a friendly advice or submit to it said the man that really loves you very much. These councils will replace you with many hours of internal monologue and countless attempts to reflect on and analyze everything.