contact / help

I cant tell if its your fault that im a wreck, or is it mine?
I did everything I could, to never cross the line
and im as sick and tired of waiting, as I hate the reality
that I could lose you again for bein the real me

The real me doesn’t like to hide, cause she was taught to be that way
The real me wants to aggressively, laugh at every joke you ever make
The real me will see you through, even if she thinks youre slightly wrong
The real me would kiss you, if youre staring for too long

im done pretending that, I don’t like to be alone
when its just you and me, pulling teeth, living the life when no ones home
I miss getting to know you inside out, talking strait, talking dirty
I miss the days you could say anything
And I could be the real me

Track Name: Uncontrolable Decay

Im Under something
Debilitating
Regenerating sympathy for my mistakes

Although its only
So temporary
So please excuse my bleak perspective for tonight

Doctor said something
About survival
But I don’t care complacency’s my only rival
And that shits boring
And so are you
If you dismiss me for my unfortunate world view
So hold me tight
I apologize
That for some reason I don’t love you for tonight
Until tommorow
When sin and sorrow
Cease to exist because im manic and restrained

30 bullets to the brain
couldn’t justify that Im a bit insane
because im sick
but I dont care
cause so are you

ooh ooh ooh ooh

Track Name: Nervous Rex

Let go from grip and Ill catch you
From the edge of a cascade concrete sky
Itll be okay Ill hit the ground too
And the shape of our brains will match the blood on our eyes
My weak wrists alone can never save you
Its like fighting fire with acid rain
But sometimes your mouth it got us both through
And I discovered the grace of being insane

Ive fallen off the edge over sixteen times this year
Ive scraped all my agony on every broken bottle of beer
Milemarkers are placed on every nervous breakdown
And that space in between is really what keeps me around

If you pushed me away I couldn’t leave you
Cause Ide stand there and watch as you play dead
And as we lay there broken in two
Youll remember the last thing I said

Track Name: Atlantic Center

REMEMBER ALL THOSE TIMES WE SANG OUR FAVORITE SONGS?
In the middle of every bar and car and restaurant?
to the tune of fuck the world, another goddamn musical, it was easier to try to fight the world back then
REMEMBER MONDAY 7AM ON WALL STREET?
We thought killing cops with molotovs would set us free?
I looked around for people like me, the kind who carried the world on their sleeve, and through the glitter and brass, i swore i saw you looking at me
WOAH OH OH OH ITS UNBEARABLE
WHEN YOU FIGHT THE ONES YOU LOVE
DURING THIS 3RD WORLD WAR
AND WHEN CAPITALISM FALLS,
ILL STILL BE WAITING FOR YOU AT THE MALL
PILLAGING, LOOTING, SHOPLIFTING AND ALL

REMEMBER SATURDAY NIGHT, 5 FEET AWAY FROM ME?
sirens, static, hoards of people ide rather not see?
if it were only way back when, wed get a 10 piece bucket and pretend, that once again, its just us versus them

Track Name: Sin(ga) Fronteras

I see skies of red, Bang your brother’s dead
Red roses and pearls on the corpses of young girls
Send money for foreign tourism, shit for the dykes and fags
Who may be stranded at sea, waving a white flag

Fuck the embargo
Fuck the president
Fuck any closet totalitarians
Fuck the criminalization of human nature
Fuck borders that don’t exist and societal failures

Your assholes cant get along
So ill just sit here and complain
Cause of you, you clever shits
I don’t know when ill see my family again

Track Name: The Letter I Should Have Sent

Hey how ya doin? Im doin fine.
Picked up my shit for a long long time
Said so long, and Im gone, to reconnection
Cause I finally aligned my equilibrium
Although, I must insist, everythings still
The same way it was this time last year
Another December, another one night stand
That I could compare to you
But like I said, Im free, of the way I loathed
Being crazy and totally broke
Cause these plants, they work, I sware to you
Although they don’t avert the way the crumbling city looks

With glass blown luxury
For the 1st time I miss all the concrete
That gets in the way
Of all the trees we saw that day
when everything was wrong but totally okay
and we could still be friends

So yea, its Tuesday again And ive recalled the truth
That from my front window the city looks good
Clad in the armor of the people who want
to continue to rise as beauracracy falls
So hey, life’s okay, and I might to pay
A bit less to see my family someday
Cause a little means a lot this day in age
So I try real hard to live
Every day like it was the last
And every night like its broken glass
But I know im not immune to the fact that I might
Unravel a cycle of aimless insight

And everyone will think im sick
Cause im unstable, unable to explain why
I want to smoke myself to sleep
On Tuesdays like these
I wish we could pick up where we left off
24 hr window up the street

Track Name: Clothing Optional

Sitting around with no prospects abound
Besides the memory of last year, holding you close to the ground
Its that eternal struggle, of emotional rubble
And trying to find a place to be alone

Yeah I might sound crazy, but I must admit
My lifes a sea of one night stands that haplessly cease and exist
And if I had a choice of where I’de end up tonight
It be trying to find a place to be alone
While youre the one calling me on the phone
TRYING TO FIND A PLACE, TRYING TO FIND A PLACE, TRYING TO FIND A PLACE TO BE ALONE

Hey I hardly understand these balls and chains
And all those methods of control that make emotional strain
although sometimes I wonder if you felt the same
when we were trying to find a place to be alone

And yea I don’t believe that love should mean
a chastity belt in the way of the occasional stream
of conciousness that says “I love you to death
but im trying to find a place to be alone
with that new girl I met while I was walking home”
TRYING TO FIND A PLACE, TRYING TO FIND A PLACE, TRYING TO FIND A PLACE TO BE ALONE
TRYING TO FIND A PLACE TO BE ALONE
TRYIN TO FIND A PLACE ------TO BE ALONE

....but to tell you the truth
despite our carnal ways
I want to be the one you hold at night, or, at least, every couple of days

So what do you say?
Do you wanna get lost tonight?
And try to find a place to be alone?

Track Name: Shittyfuck

Remember when you drove me around for 22 hours
And our problems all arised from the people we fucked
And you knew I was self loathing and I knew you were insane
But you actually admitted it so I gave you my brain
And then I gave you my hand and you took me away to a world
Where love wasn’t enough

As you played my friend you played the isolation game
And at 21 I realized you were all I had
You lied about me to your people And about your people to me
Pushing me through the cracks of my reality
Everything you’ve touched since then has turn to shit and I insist
On cutting you off

Believing you was suicide
Burning bridges kept me alive
You were an anarchist a chauvinist
A saint and a slut
two faces were never enough
two faces were never enough

Track Name: Take Back The Night

I remember about six years ago, I wish I knew you then
There was a bunch of waterfronts to pick between S4 and N10
And every waking day I remind myself everything’s okay
Cause its the people’s streets were walking on and that cant get taken away...
See that thing I do? Round about, around the truth
But hey, its hard, to keep an open heart, around the thought of you

SO I JUST SIT HERE WONDERIN’
ARE YOU UNDERMINING
HOW ITS A LITTLE BIT UNSETTLING
THAT WERE BURNING BRIDGES TO THE BEAT OF NOTHING?

Yeah, theres something magical about the windows on the concrete
But all the sprawl along the East River, looks like shit to me
And like a scab, a wounded heart comes back to life in secrecy
And maybe Ill find inner peace, through me and only me?

Or maybe one day, hey, we’ll reconvene, hash out the truth?
Like hell, I swear, it takes a pair, to say Im in love with you

Track Name: Baby, I Can See Your Halo

Hey it’s me, again, I thought youde like to know, that this sunset, takes me back, to a couple years ago, when mass corruption meant the same thing, but no one screamed alone, and the end of the world, felt so far away, unlike your voice over the phone…… So let’s let go, of the walls we built, cause baby they’re tumbling down; Turn off the 5, o’clock news, and dance with me like no ones around. Broken mirrors and black cats, don’t stand a chance, to things we can’t change, or reinvent, so here’s to you, to me, and the world that stands in our way.

Track Name: Yinzer!? I dont even know'er!

Fuck the Fundamentalist
who made it so hard to say I want you
Fuck the Insurrectionist
whos revolution forgot to include us

Fuck the system that sent me to hell,
and the 100 some odd years of being forced to rebel,
fuck the minefiled im crawling through
FUCK THE WORLD, ide rather just fuck you

But youre 375 Miles away
And I would fly there if I could, even if just for a day
Even if 50 million riot cops stood in my way
I wanna take your hand
Well start a violent pride parade

Fuck this greyhound ticket, its
$150 per round trip
I wanna deconstruct the shit that’s in my head
so ill just curse the government instead

Fuck the system that sent me to hell,
and the 100 some odd years of being forced to rebel,
fuck the minefiled im crawling through
FUCK THE WORLD, ide rather just fuck you

Track Name: Secret Agenda

Hey man im angry and I know you think its annoying
Yeah, I know you hate the way you have to see the places were going
The fabrics changing, youre not my hero anymore
Yeah I saw benediction when they kicked you out the door

I don’t want, to be pacified, I don’t want, to be classified
As demure, As incapable, As not alright
WE DON’T WANNA LICK YOUR BALLS TONIGHT
We wanna own our abilities, our bodies, our rights
WE DON’T WANNA LICK YOUR BALLS TONIGHT
We wanna dance on your grave and make it out alive
We wanna scream
Without fighting for what we mean
To sound alarming cause being loud
Is often categorized as being CRAZY

So whats up with the repression of our sexualities?
I thought this was that other world where inhibitions seize?
So hey don’t demonize me for fucking your bestfriend
Were not here to argue, were here to understand that

we don’t want, to be pacified, I don’t want, to be classified
As demure, As incapable, As not alright
WE DON’T WANNA LICK YOUR BALLS TONIGHT
We wanna own our abilities, our bodies, our rights
WE DON’T WANNA LICK YOUR BALLS TONIGHT
We wanna dance on your grave and make it out alive
We wanna scream
Without fighting for what we mean
To sound alarming cause being loud
Is often categorized as being CRAAAZZYYY

....I wanna be myself, inside of this place, where im supposedly “free” and supposedly “safe” to enact on organisms inside of myself; free of degredation, free of your help

Track Name: Venus In Aries

Every lost love needs a rebound, every now and then
Just like everyone wants to forget, the open wounds that manifest
When every broken heart falls apart distinctively
So lets forget the last few years, take my hand and make believe

That the end of the world already happened Friday night
No governments, no cheap regrest, just trespassing into the night
Into abandoned infrastructures, and those abandoned things we said
I better hold on to tommorow, ide rather just hold you instead

Everyone needs a bone to pick, a few regrets, a few mistakes
Everyone needs a first love, and a one that got away
Baby I need my therapist to show me wrong from right
Cause as far as im concerned, I should just take you home tonight

Cause the end of the world already happened Friday night
No governments, no cheap regrest, just trespassing into the night
Into abandoned, and those abandoned things we said
I better hold on to tommorow (oh oh oh), ide rather just hold you instead

…..I stopped smoking weed to remember my dreams, so I could wake up next to you every night. But now this anxiety has got me down on my knees, beggin wont you please, come back to me, tonight?