Monday, March 17, 2008

Days like this are difficult. The pain is nearly blinding in it's intensity. These are the days that I try to avoid drinking much, so that I don't need to go to the bathroom...when I finally do need to go, I put it off as long as is humanly possible because it hurts so much to get up and walk the few feet to get there.

The idea of going to the ER for pain meds amuses me, in a dark sort of way. I'd much rather sit in a comfortable chair at home, trying not to scream from the pain, than sit in an uncomfortable chair in the ER trying not to scream from the pain, all for a few pills. I'm not sure any pills could touch this pain anyway, though I wouldn't mind something that could just knock me unconscious for a while. I'm sure my doctor would be happy to prescribe more medications, but the mere thought of the effort it would take to actually go into the office sends spasms through my body.

2 comments:

I hope that whatever it is that causes you this much pain could be cured in no time. I read your About Me page and I'm sorry about your loss. I gave birth to my first chid last month and I would be crushed if he died. I hope you're doing fine now. Take care!

About Me

I'm slowly journaling my experiences recovering from $65,000 in debt, dealing with chronic pain, and attempting to rebuild a life. I began writing after I delivered a child conceived through rape, only to have my child die hours after birth.