Saturday, February 28, 2009

(This is for all guys, in words they can understand, who have or had a good girl in their life and just didn't realize it or took way too long.)

She was repping for the team when it had the worst record in franchise history.When everyone else seemed to lack motivation, she was playing hard in the paint for you every night.Never was late for or even missed practice for any reason.In fact, you would find her coming in early or leaving late just so she could practice her free throws and lay-ups.She has the mentality that "offense sells tickets, but defense wins games," so she doesn't focus on the losses, its all about the team, and her game.And it eventually pays off, and the team starts winning games, but thats also about the same time everything starts to change.

Winning makes you greedy because you're constantly hungry for the attention that comes along with it.You win one, you wanna win another.Losing becomes your last option.So you start trying things out and moving people around, thinking that it is better for the franchise.Now everybody wants to be the star player.Everybody wants to come in early and leave late.With so many new options, you can make so many more new plays that you hope will win you more games, cause it is all about winning right?

But what about losing your former star player?The one who was down to represent the franchise when nobody else cared.The one who was always on point from day one of being apart of the team.You had your very own Lebron James.You inadvertently made your former top starter, your number one bench warmer.Reducing her playing time, making her sub in and out only when the other players don't care about playing up to their full potential.Those players don't care about the team, they are their for the side show.They want the groupies, and VIP club access. They don't appreciate the team.So now your star player feels like her efforts are in vain.It is no need for her to try anymore because when she does you still treat her the same.

But don't worry about your star player because they're all pretty smart.While you think she's still repping, she's discussing trade options to be star player for someone else's franchise team.Whether you realize it or not, she understands that "offense sells tickets, but defense wins games."Its like how Kobe can drop 50 points in a half easy, but his team still lose the game.Cause without a Shaq to block shots, you won't get a championship ring.And by the 4th quarter, Game 7 of the Finals, you're gonna wish you had a star player on your team.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

2. Ive been crying a lot lately, which is 100% times more than usual, since Im not a cryer AT ALL. But I've actually been crying in a way that is helping me, if that makes sense. Sometimes a good cry helps.

3. I haven't had a Valentine since the 7th grade, which is equivalent to not having a Valentine at all because it doesn't really count

4. I put on this front that I don't care about alot of stuff especially when it comes to guys, but I usually do. But from the self-fulfilling prophecy idea, I figure that if I tell myself I don't care, then eventually I won't. And it works because eventually I end up not caring forreal.

5. I have never seen my father a day in my life. Never talked to him. I used to know what his name was but over the years I forgot. And I can honestly say that I don't really care.

6. Im a Mama's Girl.

7. I just started tearing up as Im writing this. I don't even know why. lol

8. Ever since this guy I met died in a freak accident, I worry that things like that are going to happen to my family and friends.

9. I hate college. Never liked it. Never felt like it was anything other than the next step after high school.

10. But I regret not fully participating in the college experience. I should have went to a black school

11. I hate UNC for my own personal reasons and I refuse to wear any of my Carolina clothing or Carolina blue at all for that matter. And I vow never to step foot in Chapel Hill again once I graduate.

12. Yes, I haven't graduated. And at this point, I don't really care whether I do or not. But I will, only because it would devastate my mother if I didn't.

13. I hate when people insinuate stuff about me that is completely out of my character. For example, this guy asked me if I was playing on his phone, and I got mad. Because I don't even like talking on the phone, number 1, and playing on the phone is some childish ass shit that Im just too grown to be doing.

14. Speaking of guys, I hate when they assume that Im going to act just like the little childish ass girls they are used to dealing with, and so they treat me and talk to me as such. Fuck that. Im not a dumb female AT ALL. Im smart, for future reference.

15. The greatest thing a guy has ever said to me was, "I wish you was a dumb girl who would just do whatever I ask them to do." All I could do was smile...

16. I hate the sound styrofoam makes when you move it or touch it. It makes me cringe

17. My first tattoo will be the words Carte Blanch somewhere on my body.

18. I used to not really like light skinned guys, unless they were extra sexy. But now, since living in MD, I want me one so bad. lol. I see them all the time, with long ass ponytails, and hats. SEXY. I even used to hate hair on guys, I think I love it now. lol

19. I want some white friends. No disrespect to my black friends, but I be wanting to do some different shit, and experience some different things. Cause its so hard to get my black friends to do "white stuff," like karaoke, and skydiving.

20. Lately, I have been going to sleep around 10-11 pm and waking up at 8:30 am. So Not me. My former hours were probably going to sleep around 3-4 am and waking up around 11 am.

21. I read the dictionary. In fact, I was on Merriam-Webster.com looking up words the other day, FOR FUN. My vocabulary is impeccable.

22. I hate wearing underwear. But I pretty much have to, so the only time I don't put any on is when I'm going to sleep or just chillin at home. I started wearing alot of thongs lately too. They are the closest thing to wearing nothing.

23. I want to travel. Everywhere. From the smallest towns, to the most exotic of places.

24. One of my legs used to be shorter than the other one because I broke one of my legs in the growth plate on a trampoline when I was younger. And I had to wait until my other one stopped growing before I could do anything about it.

25. I bought something for a guy for the first time in my life this past Christmas. And it was weird because I actually wanted to get him something, and I didn't care whether he got me something or not. I think I just like giving people stuff just so I can see their reactions.

3. I have a book/short story to write that should have been turned in yesterday. And I haven't started at all. (besides the basics of the plot and characters)

4. I have a paper due Friday for my history class, but my book is at home, and I am not.

5. Valentines Day is coming up, and I need a date (or a victim)..lol

6. my hair needs to be cut...this is about the time of year that I start hating it because its growing out of control.

7. I need some female friends...But DC Bitches...idk about...

8. My phone bill needs to be paid ASAP

9. My appetite is fucked up from my Half-Baked Project (but plus side- Ive lost like 10 pounds) But it was from long days of being hungry, but I can't eat, because as soon as I take one bite of anything I feel full, and my stomach starts hurting, and I feel as if Im going to throw up, and I hate throwing up

10. The only guy that I even remotely care for is acting stupid and we're beefing (well I'm beefing with him)...and its starting to make me not like him...forreal...and once I stop liking someone, its a wrap. I don't do second chances AT ALL... And to make matters even worse, I think my mother actually likes this guy, and she's never even met him. I know she likes him because she always asks me about him, and she never asks me about guys that she doesn't care too much for.

But on a good note...

Ive still got my health, except for my eczema driving me slightly crazy with the itching. So I can't really complain. All of this is expected as I have FINALLY branched out and started moving forward with my life. For a while, Ive been at a standstill, but that had to stop because I will not be stuck.

So the grind...yeah Im on it...the struggle...yeah I feel it...But it will all be worth it...Things are working out, things are looking up...You gotta have the struggle, so you can appreciate the success right?

Seventeen Daily Freebie

My Mantras

"Sleeping is for Dreamers"- Megan "A red soled shoe doesn't mean they're Louboutins" Translation: Separate the real from the fake.- Megan"I am what I repeatedly do. Therefore my flyness is not an act, but a habit"- Aristotle and Megan"When you are too focused on what you don't have, you won't have."- Kanye West, Thank You and You're Welcome

"It is a golden rule from day one that you must put others before yourself. I believe this to be true, but as the second verse says, if you don't first look out for yourself, then you'll never be able to help anyone else. Self-preservation is actually in my opinion a big contributor to society." -Andrew Marlin, "The Rabbit"

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but we wait so long to begin it" "Sure Books can Guide you, but your heart defines you"- Jay-Z"Life ain't meant to come around twice, thats why I gotta get it right"- Lupe Fiasco"When people show you who they are, Believe them""You're better off in no relationship, than a bad relationship"