“He’s Married But Separated, Is It Ok To Keep Seeing Him?”

I love your Blog! I think I read most of your “relationship” posts in one sitting. So, I decided to write to you.

Straight to the point – Is It Ever OK to date a married BUT separated man? I know, I know, I know this is a trivial and on the verge of just plain trifling.

FACTS: We love each other and I have no doubts about our feelings. He is not going home to his estranged wife. He has his own place and the one he leased for us. She is and has been aware of our relationship. I have met his employee’s, mother, siblings, but, I have not (directly) met their 3 kids. RED FLAG! He has met my children. He “completely” supports my lifestyle for the last 3yrs – provided me everything I need and most of what I want. I also work, but I CAN NOT afford this home, car and extras without him.

DOWNSIDE: He left the decision of divorce up to her!!! He told “us” (on separate occasions) he would sign if she served him. But, she has no plans to serve him. She still has hope.

Is it ever ok to date a married (separated) man? This may sound simple, but I have yet to have any trust issues with him and other women – other than living in the shadow of him having a wife.

My response to your question is it ever okay to date a married but separated man – HELL NO! Hells naw! Hell to the N-O!

By the way, if he is married then, uhm, sweetie you can’t call him your man if he belongs to someone else.

Girl, you are a joke talking about y’all love each other. I think the both of you are trifling, callous, and selfish. You don’t care about anyone else except for yourselves. The man flaunts you around like some exotic animal he got from the circus, and you’re proud of that? Of course you are because you don’t have any regard for anyone else but yourself. I mean, Ms. Thing, have you thought about the message you are sending to your children, and how this is affecting them? And, how did you introduce him to your kids? “Hey kids, I want you to meet my new boyfriend, but he is married to someone else and I’m his jump-off, but not for long because he plans to divorce his wife. So, technically I have no morals or values.”

If you already know that dating a married man is trivial and on the verge of being trifling, then why are you asking me the question? Y’all women dating married but separated men will learn. If they have not divorced their wives, and they keep telling you, ‘I haven’t found the time,’ or, ‘it costs too much,’ then guess what, he’s not divorcing his wife for you. And, Ms. 1st Lady In LA, you need to be the LAST LADY IN LA. Chile, the man you’re seeing has told you, ‘I will only sign the papers if she has me served.’ And, he is leaving the divorce up to her?!?! Girl, you stupid, dumb, and a moron. I’m done with this letter! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend

Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!