‘It’s Murder, Not Hunting’

The headline of this article says it all. Rich cowards from the west are heading to Russia and paying Â£1500 a pop to head into the woods. During their trip, a dog is sent into a cave to wake a hibernating bear. The weak, defenceless ursine staggers from its rest and is shot from a distance of 300m with a high-powered rifle. As a result, many cubs are orphaned which vastly reduced their chances of reaching adulthood.

So here’s a deal. Know anyone who’s planning on going on one of these trips? Let me know. For Â£1500 I’ll head round to their house, break in while they’re asleep, shove them out of bed and cave their fucking skull in with a baseball bat from a distance of three feet.

Now that’s a sport as they’ve almost got a fair chance.

Oh, and I’ll take Â£1500-worth of valuables from their house and donate it to the WWF. I ain’t in this for the money.