Monday, March 15, 2010

Why do other parents jump down your throat when they don't think you're doing a good enough job but can't seem to control their child in public?

Why does the chicken want us to continually ask why it's crossing the road? At this point, isn't it old enough to not need someone holding it's wing?

Why can't we all just get along?

Why does the co-worker think he's hot stuff when I have continually pointed out his many faults? Hygenie being at the top of the list. Dude, you stink. No girl wants that in a man. Take a shower. Use soap. Lots of it. Cut your hair regularly. Shave your face. You can't grow a beard. Those sploches make you look like someone played a prank on you but missed your eyebrow. Quit smoking. Throw away your clothes and get some that fit. No. Even the hobo down the street doesn't want your stanky rags. And finally figure out you are just too damn scrawny to drink any more than one beer. When you come to work smelling like a brewery (and not a good one mind you) it makes us all want to vomit. Oh. And he fish in my office. He's mine. I've bought everything for him and cleaned his bowl 10 times more than you. He belongs to me. Now, quit looking at me because you want to tell me some poor taste nerd joke you've already told me at least 12 times. It ain't happenin'.