Movie notes: Cruise way, way, way over the top in ‘Rock of Ages’

Regardless of what you may think of him personally (and I’m not a big fan), you have to give Tom Cruise credit for being utterly fearless. But his performance in the ’80s jukebox movie “Rock of Ages” takes that fearlessness to new heights.

Cruise’s turn as prepetually wasted hair-metal rocker Stacie Jaxx is one of the reasons to see “Rock of Ages,” a hit-and-miss adaptation of the hit Broadway musical, which stopped in for a raucous week at the Majestic Theatre in May 2011. Actually “see” is an understatement. You woun’t just “see” Cruise’s performance — you’ll sit there in slack-jawed disbelief.

The first time we see Cruise, in his dressing room before a concert, he’s buried under a stack of scantily clad groupies. I mean “buried” literally — one after another has to get off of him before we finally see a semi-conscious Cruise, bare-chested, tattooed (including one tattoo of a pistol pointing at his crotch) and wearing leather lace-up paints and a devil’s head codpiece — the epitome of rock ‘n’ roll excess. And he has barely moved a muscle.

(NOTE: Through a bit of subterfuge, I managed to obtain Mr Cruise’s clothing budget for the movie: It reads as follows:

1. Leather pants — $20,000

2. Offensive codpieces — $10,000

3. Leather/fur accessories — $5,000

4. Shirts — $0)

He gets around to plenty of moving — striking signature rock-god poses onstage, jousting with a Rolling Stone reporter (Malin Akerman) in an extremely contentious interview, peeing on manager Paul Giamatti’s shoes and making more use of his tongue than Kiss’ Gene Simmons ever did.

Even more amazingly, he sings. Pretty well. No one will ever compare him to Robert Plant, but he’s more than credible on the likes of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” or Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead of Alive.” And he’s certainly better than Pierce Brosnan in “Mamma Mia!”

The problems stem from the fact that Cruise’s role is so big to begin with. Obviously, when you fork over the big bucks it takes to get Cruise to sign on the dotted line, you want him front and center. But his Jaxx completely overshadows the two alleged lead roles — aspiring rock singer Drew (Diego Boneta) and aspiring actress Sherrie (Julianne Hough, both in photo at right), both of whom have come to L.A. seeking tardom.

Folks who remember the musical know that’s not how the role was envisioned. Though Jaxx’s presence hangs over the entire proceedings — his final concert before going solo, at an L.A. club called the Bourbon Room, drives the action — in the musical, he’s not onstage all that much. And things turned out differently for the stage Jaxx than the movie Jaxx. Much differently.

Chris D’Arienzo, who wrote the musical, had a hand in the screenplay, so I guess he’s OK with the changes. But Cruise’s enormous … presence diminishes Boneta and Hough; they come across as twin Davids to his Goliath, and with no slingshot.

That’s not the only issue. For a musical, “Rock of Ages” is surprisingly tone-deaf, seemingly unable to decide between satire and sympathy for its characters. The dominant theme is ridicule, with scattered attempts to make the characters likable. Even Jaxx.

Granted, these rockers and their excesses are an easy target, but the musical’s portrayal was more affectionate than mocking. It that sense, it is to hair metal what “A Mighty Wind” is to folk music.

The casting is a bit hit-and-miss, too. It’s a hoot to watch Alec Baldwin as the beleagured club owner Dennis and Russell Brand, sporting absolutely perfect ’80s hair, as his sidekick, Lonny (see photo at right). Their duet on REO Speedwagon’s “Can’t Fight This Feeling,” in which their bromance gets more than a little out of hand, is right up their with Cruise’s first scene in jaw-droppingness.

And Giamatti is also a hoot as Jaxx’s sleazy, double-talking, porn-’stached manager. But though she looks great in those skimpy outfits and with her pile of blond hair, country star Hough is unconvincing as a rocker chick.

Other than Cruise, the music is “Rock of Ages’ ” main selling point. It most certainly does NOT get short shrift. You get wall-to-wall music — at least 20 ’80s rock classics, from Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian” to Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” to Whitesnake’s show-stopping “Here I Go Again.” Yes, a bit of Journey fatigue sets in — “Glee” has sort of worn out “Don’t Stop Believin” – but if this is the music of your youth, you won’t go away unhappy.

(Disclaimer: As a British Invasion baby boomer, I file most of these tunes in a folder marked ”guilty pleasures.” My idea of ’80s rock starts with U2, the Replacements and R.E.M. But — and I’m a bit ashamed to admit this — my right foot was tapping for most of the night).