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Friday, June 27, 2014

Feature Friday: The Princess Bride

I have to be honest with you; if you have not seen this movie you are not living properly. But fear not! There is still time. I am here to rescue you from the darkness that surrounds you.

This is probably one of the best movies ever made in the history of cinema. It has everything: "fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles," not too mention some of the best and wittiest dialogue you could possibly want. Imagine a movie filled with characters who talk like Tyrion Lannister. It is taking all of my willpower not to fill this post with gifs of my favorite one-liners, but I want those of you who haven't seen it yet to get to enjoy it properly in all it's glory. I will, however, promise you that after watching this movie you will walk around quoting it for at least a month. It is inevitable. (Inconceivable even...)

So what exactly is this movie that I am so enamored with? The Princess Bride is, at its essence, a fairy tale. Young lovers Buttercup and Westley are separated when he sails away in hopes of earning enough money for them to marry. But before he can reach his destination, his ship is attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, and everyone knows the Dread Pirate Roberts doesn't take prisoners. Five years later Prince Humperdink sets his eyes on Buttercup, and she has no choice but to accept his proposal, but before they can be wed she is kidnapped. Will Humperdink rescue his would-be bride? And who is the masked man following her and her captors around?

I know that probably not many of you are running to buy it after that synopsis, but you're going to have to trust me. I'm trying really hard not to spoil anything, but it is one of those movies that is kind of hard to talk about without ruining something. It is an experience that is best gone into blind. And trust me, that is exactly what this movie is: an experience.

I'm going to tell you right now, if you go into this story expecting a serious tale of love and lost you are going to be disappointed. The movie is meant to be a parody of the typical fairy tale. If you go to its page on TVTropes.org the list of tropes that this movie utilizes scrolls for miles. But it is so smart about it that you hardly notice. Instead of taking the stupid-funny approach that most parodies try for, The Princess Bride goes for witty humor. And it succeeds. Oh lord, does it succeed. Almost every single line in this movie is quote worthy. I probably watched it 10 times before I managed to catch every joke because some of them are so quick, just one line, that they are very easy to miss.

I will give you a bit of advice. See this man?

His name is Inigo Montoya (don't worry, he will introduce himself.) He is easily one of the most iconic characters in cinema history. If you want to avoid missing the more subtle lines of gold, pay very close attention to everything this man says. You're welcome.

I cannot express to you enough how badly you need this movie in your life. You need it like air. It is ice cold lemonade after a long day in the sun. It is fleece pajamas and hot chocolate on a snowy winter night. It is a pair of jeans with real actual pockets in it. It is the best decision you will ever make.

Love yourself. Go watch The Princess Bride. (And then comment/tweet me so we can talk about how amazing it is together.)