rian:
you have my undying (and unending, had i the patience to forever flamboyantly expound) apologies, but i will save you those, and give you something in the way of an explanation instead. it of course had something to do with the date--i was back to visit the old family on that day--but really, if you want to know the truth, it has much more to do with my absolute insecurity in my acting abilities. i know it wasn't the main part or anything, but if i was even one extra in a crowd of thousands in some epic civil war flick or something, i'd probably be completely noticeable as being just about the most self-conscious and terrible extra in the piece. nobody would be able to watch the goddam movie, because they'd be so worried about 'that one guy, way the hell over there on the left."

which is to say, you can put it off on my own neurotic crap, because i felt really lousy that you offered me a part and i didn't even take it.
i felt like a class-A crumb-bum.