Linda Castor: How you define yourself is key in staying healthy

For years, I've called myself a runner and have felt a sense of purpose and empowerment when I define myself in that way: strong, fast, enduring, committed and disciplined.

Linda Castor

For years, I've called myself a runner and have felt a sense of purpose and empowerment when I define myself in that way: strong, fast, enduring, committed and disciplined.

In general, I've learned volumes about my character when I define myself as an "athlete." (To be honest, pain is my motivating factor for proper training; I do not want to live with perpetual shin splints.)

Last week, I expanded my definition to "racing bike enthusiast," and wiped out badly. After rolling around in pain like a boy who'd been kicked in the groin, I got back on my bike and rode for several miles after that. I wanted to prove to myself that I could learn from my mistakes, and I was not going to be afraid of this new venture –– or a past definition. "Fear," as Frank Herbert wrote in "Dune," his sci-fi masterpiece, "is the mind killer."

One of the most effective ways to keep the mind killer at bay is to redefine the meaning of words that historically didn't sit well. Instead of saying the dreaded "exercise" word, I say I'm "training." It brings a whole new meaning to that sense of commitment I have for my body and myself. Or, at least it does in my head.

But that's just the point. It's what you say to yourself and about yourself that matters. If you continue to say, "I'm fat and lazy,” then guess what? You will live out that definition. Last February, I broke my toe tripping over a humidifier left in the hallway. My immediate reaction, after hobbling in shock and pain, was, "You are such a klutz," and, "I think I need to go to the hospital now."

In that moment, I realized that definition originated from my life as a 5-year-old. I was told I couldn't dance; I wasn't coordinated, and I couldn't take dance lessons. My family would continue to playfully tease me for my lack of grace, thereby solidifying my definition as the most uncoordinated child east of the Mississippi.

How can we change these false definitions of ourselves? Think about your upbringing and how your caregivers defined you. Were you literally called stupid, worthless or bad? Or did you hear the message that you weren't good enough or not important? Use the emotions that arise when you think of those moments in time (anger, sadness, pain) and turn them around.

Realize you have the power to redefine yourself. Then do it. Say the opposite: "I am not a klutz; I am not uncoordinated." And try not to fall down the stairs.

One of the most impressionable sights over the summer was seeing triathletes. Some of the athletes looked like out-of-shape potatoes who decided to roll off the couch and don a wetsuit –– another reason why you can't judge a book by its cover. It was clear they all crossed the finish line with pride and a new definition.

Was I subconsciously living out my definition as a klutz with my bike mishap? No, my new reality at that moment was learning how to maneuver on my Cannondale, plain and simple. Minus the spills, I sure am having fun!

Linda Castor, RN, LCPC, is a nurse and psychotherapist at Clocktower Therapy Center. She treats anxiety, eating disorders and other mental health issues. Castor can be reached at www.LindaCastor.com.