Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Bloom, by Kelle Hampton. Reviewed by Leah Thompson

And I have to admit, although I was looking forward to it, I appreciated her book even more than I thought I would.

I was introduced to Kelle's blog the week that Cora was born. Within a couple of days, one of my friends e-mailed me Nella's birth story.
Since I was a brand new mom struggling my way through the beginning of
my baby's NICU stay, still reeling and aching from a surprising
diagnosis, Kelle's account of her own daughter's surprise Ds diagnosis
hit home. While I had been feeling so alone in my feelings, reading
about Kelle's shock and grief really helped me to accept how I was
feeling. To know that I wasn't the only mother who had felt that she
had been given the wrong baby, to know that the feelings of grief and
shame and sorrow were not unique to me was so important to my own
healing process. I was happy to find that Kelle was able to bond with
her daughter so quickly in spite of her tumultuous feelings and was able
to express her love so purely.

As life with Cora progressed, I enjoyed occasionally getting my fix of Kelle's beautiful blog;
perusing her gorgeous photos and reading stories of the joyful moments
with her daughters. But sometimes, especially when I was despondent
over not being able to feed Cora, or quaking with fear over heart
surgery, I couldn't relate to Kelle's happy and normal posts. I
just wasn't quite there yet. After Cora's surgery, as our lives indeed
began to feel normal, I was able to get back to Kelle's blog. I know
that there are people that feel that her outlook is too positive
and not very true-to-life about the stress involved in a life parenting a
child with special needs. But, I don't really agree. Yes, she is
mostly positive. And for me, I need perspectives like Kelle's. I need
to be reminded about the myriad of beautiful moments to be appreciated
if you choose to look. I need to catch glimpses that remind me of the
importance of perspective, even if my own photos aren't quite as
flawless, and my own Northwest weather not as accommodating year-round,
and our own activities often more mundane.

Yes, Kelle is inspiring to me. So when her book came out, I was excited
to read it. I was ready to feel motivated and inspired.

And although Bloom delivered that, it also delivered much more.
Kelle's book was not so much about Nella, but about her own journey
during Nella's first year. It delved into the details of her process
into acceptance and revealed more raw emotion and a longer grieving
period than I had expected after reading her birth story. She talked
about a health scare with Nella, which as any parent who has shared this
kind of fear knows, puts your true values into perspective fast.
She talked about her nervousness meeting older people with Ds, and the
worries about what life will be like when her daughter is no longer in
the "cute baby" stage. She wrote about wondering what to say to
strangers, and even initially whether she had used the beautiful name
she had chosen for the wrong baby. All of these worries and thoughts
were part of her process, even after falling in love with her girl. And
they are not unique to her. Many of the mamas I have met in person and
online since Cora's birth have struggled with similar things, myself
included. So it was really nice to gain insight into this side of
Kelle.

I also really appreciated seeing how big a role her friends and family
played for her. My own network of friends is considerably smaller, but
just as important. And although I may have held people at arm's reach
for a little while as I gathered my bearings, the support of my family
and friends was crucial. I will never forget the night that my mom and
my youngest sister stayed with Cora at the NICU while I rested, being
too loud during quiet time and partying with my wee girl as they somehow
coaxed her to drink a full bottle. Nor will I forget how important
Mira's pep talks have been to me; always offering me a new way to look
at things and the insight to actually appreciate my circumstances. But
certainly most important to me is the absolute love that has been
shown to my girl from the second she was born. Yes, hearing about
Kelle's appreciation for her friends and family really reminded me how
very thankful I am for my own.

And while my own enjoyment of Bloom was affected by my own
similar experiences, it is a beautiful book that can be thoroughly
enjoyed by readers that haven't been through something similar. In
fact, I am sure that a great many of the people reading this
best-selling book don't have children with special needs. But they are
certainly gaining insight into at least one such life. And this is a
great book to offer that glimpse. It is a beautiful book with a
wonderful message and it does an excellent job of conveying how
beautiful life can be, even when it takes an unexpected turn. And that,
my friends, is a great lesson for everyone to learn.