The Texas Nude Maid Service Is Booming!

LUBBOCK - The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company of Kalamazoo, Michigan, has just announced that The Texas Nude Maid Service, (formerly known as The Woman's Touch Maid Service) which is headquartered in Lubbock, Texas has become one of the fastest growing companies in America.

Company owner Essie Belle Tuckahoe was given the news by poll company spokesperson Prescott Tippecanoe and she was absolutely ecstatic.

Texas Nude Maid Service has been in operation for a little over a year and they have already had their business increase by 900 percent.

Ms. Tuckahoe recently talked with Fitzwater Ribicoff of American Spotlight Magazine and said that other than the original service outlet in Lubbock, she has opened up four more outlets in Houston, San Antonio, Dallas, and Laredo.

She proudly boasted that she has gone from 12 maids to 125. She pointed out to Mr. Ribicoff that the thing that separates her company from other cleaning companies is that her maids are all dressed in their birthday suits or as they say in Las Vegas - they're nude.

Ribicoff asked if the girls ever run into any problems or trouble with frisky male homeowners. She smiled and said that in the one year that they have been in operation there has not been one case of any client getting out of hand.

She pointed out that all of the girls are extremely feminine and sexy beyond belief but they are all professionally trained in the art of self-defense.

Ms. Tuckahoe grinned and said that her girls are all experts at karate, judo, tae kwon do, kung fu, and kickboxing.

The girls are paid $50 an hour and are very serious about their work, but in the event than a man would be so foolish as to try anything out-of-line with any of her girls he would immediately be turned into a human piñata.

SIDENOTE: Ms. Tuckahoe was asked what the requirements to be one of her maids are. She took a sip of her Papaya Margarita and said that the requirements are very strict. All girls must have a college degree, be fluent in English, Spanish, and German, and they must definitely all be a 10.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

More fake news stories

Following a tireless debate last night, congress has begun work drafting a new bill that seeks to stop white men from kicking the back of a goddamn coon's head and shattering his teeth whilst proclaiming the sanctity of the white bloodline.
The bi...

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a stunning development, Chief Justice John Roberts changed his name to Caitlyn Roberts, thereby joining Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan as custodians of keys to the women's restroom of the Supreme C...

Washington - The President of the United Snakes of America and a Brit Reality TV con artist famous for faking the Beeb's wildlife documentaries have appeared in a televised White House junk science rant.
Barack Obama and ageing UK naturalist (sic...

Washington, DC - Disgraced NAACP leader, Rachel Dolezal, who was fired last month for being a secret whitey, didn't take long to get her life heading in a newish direction. It turns out that she quickly found an equally-minded friend in John Boehner,...

Washington, D.C - How do you cap off a Democratic Presidency that seems to have gotten almost nothing done for nearly eight long years? Well, a good way to start is to gather all the whack job liberals you can find after a really gruesome, racially m...

Malone, NY - New York Police shot and killed one of the two escaped murderers from the Clinton Correctional Facility, Richard Matt, on Friday, only a few miles from the Canadian border - which would have surely been the end of the trail for all polic...

No longer willing to ignore the stark reality of environmental degradation, global poverty, and deteriorating human health, pessimistic beverage packing company Canned Dreams, Inc., recently announced the launch of a new product line, known as the al...

In a clever political maneuver all 32 republican presidential prospects agreed to consolidate their collective power and run as one single multi-personality candidate.
The new strategy is the brainchild of Carl Rove who said it was necessary to a...