Want to help others have a memorable holiday? Charitable gift-giving can be easy

Laurie Murphy of St. Paul has for years given holiday gifts to needy families through Catholic Charities. So did her parents, Helen and Richard Murphy, when they were alive. And so does her son, Gordon Bowers of St. Paul.

"It's really fun to pick out things that they need, and it's fun to pick out toys," Murphy told the Watchdog. "God has been good to me personally and good to my son, and we share. You just do it because it's the right thing to do."

This year, Murphy will be out shopping again, but Catholic Charities no longer runs the program through which she will share her gifts. Instead, there are two new Sponsor a Family organizations headed by volunteers from the longtime program.

For its part, Catholic Charities is asking donors to give in other ways it considers more consistent with its mission.

"Our clients have needs that weren't very well met by just a holiday program," said Mary Bachman, volunteer resources director. "We are working with our clients to strive toward self-sufficiency."

The new Catholic Charities model includes a "modest recognition" of the holidays, says the explanation online. And it includes not only families with children but older adults who are struggling. The new program asks for gift cards that will be given directly to clients, who can then decide how to spend them. It also seeks corporate and church groups to involve throughout the year to promote "more of an effort to understand our clients better than to give a client a bunch of stuff," Bachman said.

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Catholic Charities' wish list starts with financial donations. For example, $50 can buy a bus card; $60 pays for interpreter services for a prenatal checkup; $200 pays for a month of couples communication classes; $500 pays for "10 sessions with a spiritual care advocate to help a youth cope with grief and loss," and $1,200 pays for diapers for a baby for a year. It also asks for "stuff," though, to distribute throughout the year. That wish list includes toothbrushes, pots and pans, school supplies, towels, blankets and sheets.

"Every holiday program is not for every donor," Bachman said. "You need to do something that works for you."

The two new Sponsor a Family offshoots carry forward the approach that has been in place for more than 35 years and helped more than 5,000 people last year.

Friends of Asssumption in St. Paul is connected with social service agencies that help individuals and families fill out forms in which they describe their needs and wants. The program makes the match with donors, who are asked to get two or three gifts per person plus a grocery card in the amount of $10 per family member. Donors interested in participating in this program can email sponsorafamilystpaul13@gmail.com.

"The people who receive (these gifts) know that there's somebody who really cares about them," said Kitty Delaney, who with Alison Enestvedt is heading up the St. Paul program. "We've gotten letters from recipients saying, 'I haven't had a Christmas present since I was 9 years old.' "

Everybody benefits, Delaney said: "It makes a difference for the people who are getting a gift and for the people who are giving it."

The Minneapolis-based Sponsor a Family program is headed by longtime volunteer Patti Spinner. As a nonprofit partnered with Sisters of St. Joseph Carondolet Ministries and Risen Christ Catholic School in Minneapolis, it acts as a matchmaker between donors and agencies that identify people in need. More information is at sponsorafamilymn.org.

Sometimes sponsors will put their own wants aside and find joy in providing what others need, Spinner said: "Instead of buying for each other, they buy for a family."

Kay Wittgenstein has seen what these gifts mean to the people who receive them.

She is the social worker supervisor for House Calls, a Ramsey County Public Health Department program that helps keep people from becoming homeless and to improve their health. In conjunction with the St. Paul-based Sponsor a Family, House Calls hopes to unite donors anonymously with eight individuals and 27 families that have up to nine children.

"Our clients are extremely low-income. There's so much pressure at holiday times to provide gifts for their families, and they're barely able to pay rent," she said. "It's very personal and it relieves so much stress.

"One time I heard a parent say, 'I told you Santa would come through for you.' "

GETTING WITH THE PROGRAM

If cash donations are the guts of charitable gift-giving, shopping for just the right present for a particular person is the heart.

Especially during the holidays, many givers get involved in programs in the East Metro that enable givers to participate. They can go to the store with a gift list in hand and children in tow. Through social media, they can choose items for nonprofits to pass on to clients. They can volunteer when presents are given and see the excitement in children's faces -- and relief in the faces of the adults.

"Everyone feels more generous during the holidays, being thankful for what we have and making sure someone else has some of that as well," said Charities Review Council executive director Kris Kewitsch. When someone actually shops for a particular item, "you make a connection to the gift that you're giving to that person, and not just the object. It comes to life more than simply giving a check. There's more warmth attached."

For the best fit, Kewitsch said, "make sure you find an organization that you trust and is serving those whom you have a passion to serve."

Does the program match your values, your interest in a particular cultural community or part of the world?

"When you align those things, that's when magic happens, for both the donor and the nonprofit organization," Kewitsch said.

If you want to give tangible expressions of holiday cheer, here are some programs to consider:

Love Your Neighbor. In its Adopt-a-Family program, a donor gets a description of family members and a list of items they'd like. In addition, its Christmas for Kids program provides gifts to families who haven't been matched with specific donors, so people are asked to drop off new toys and clothing. Tops on its wish list are Legos and other building toys for all ages, and waterproof gloves. Also science kits, action figures, basketballs, soccer balls and footballs; sports team hoodies and t-shirts; science kits; art supplies; movie passes; bookstore gift cards; pajamas; iTunes cards. And, says Sandy Geronime, who co-chairs the holiday collection with Linda Franke, "we gladly take gift cards, because Linda and I know how to shop."

Neighbors Inc. in South St. Paul is the umbrella agency for Love Your Neighbor, and serves residents of West St. Paul, South St. Paul, Mendota Heights, Mendota and Inver Grove Heights. To arrange to contribute, call 651-306-2152; to apply for gifts, English speakers can call 651-272-1101 and Spanish speakers can call 651-272-1100. This program works with church groups and corporations as well as individuals. More information at neighborsmn.org.

Salvation Army Toy Shop. At this free store parents come in to pick out gifts for their own children. It is stocked by donations from the public.

"They want to feel that they are doing some kind of work for that donation; they want to go out and shop," said Annette Bauer of the Salvation Army. And, Bauer said, many bring along their kids: "I think giving is a life lesson that has to start early. The toy thing is perfect."

Collection points will be determined soon. More information is at givecheer.org and http://bit.ly/1aLjqyi. To register to receive gifts, call 651-746-3595.

Donormite. This recent startup was created to enable donors to read about nonprofits and buy items on their wish lists. Serenity Village, for example, could use towels and pillows for its program to help recovering addicts.

Bethel University grad Eric Darling and co-founder Kyle Ronning launched Donormite in May as a way to appeal to younger givers via social media at donormite.com. Darling sees huge holiday potential in the fledgling company.

"You can envision yourself buying something that is going to be used and have an impact," he said. "There is that personal 'I am making a difference to this one person.' "

Sponsor a Family. This spin-off of a former Catholic Charities program run by volunteers asks donors to provide gifts for families and individuals. Donors can email sponsorafamilystpaul13@gmail.com in the St. Paul area or go to sponsorafamilymn.org for metro-wide help. When money is donated, volunteers will do the shopping themselves, said St. Paul organizer Kitty Delaney: "They're great bargain hunters."

Shop with Cops. The kids themselves are the shoppers in this program in the Summit-University and Frogtown neighborhoods. Accompanied by St. Paul police officers and funded by donors, children ages 5 to 13 are able to buy holiday gifts for their families. They choose not only toys but things like snow shovels and housecleaning products, said Western District Commander Todd Axtell. Then the cops help the kids -- 240 last year -- wrap the gifts and share lunch.

"This is a profound experience for anybody who wears the badge," Axtell said, and he plans to be there again this year. "You couldn't keep me away with an army."

Roseville Gifts for Kids. This program of the Roseville Fire Angels, spouses of Roseville firefighters, is for low-income children in the Roseville school district. Family sponsors are asked to give unwrapped toys, grocery gift cards and other items; in some cases donors can deliver the gifts to the families themselves. Or donors can simply bring new games, toys, jeans, athletic shoes, socks and personal care items such as shampoo to Roseville City Hall by Dec. 13. For more information, email rfdfireangels@gmail.com.

Twin Cities Toys for Tots. More than 125,000 Twin Cities children received toys and books through this United States Marine Corps program in 2012. To find out how to participate this year, go to http://bit.ly/1cqneV3.

United Way 2-1-1. To find out about holiday-related gift and volunteer programs in the Twin Cities, go to http://bit.ly/1aICcV3. One of these is Holiday Wishes, in which the Pioneer Press teams with the Greater Twin Cities United Way to raise money to enable families spotlighted in a series of Pioneer Press stories to buy things they need.

HandsOn Twin Cities. The Twin Cities ranks first in the nation for volunteerism, according to HandsOn Twin Cities, which connects people with agencies and programs that could use their help. To see some holiday-related opportunities, go to handsontwincities.org and http://bit.ly/1aLBfgC.

Give to the Max Day. This big fundraising day for schools and charities is Nov. 14; some individual donations qualify for matching grants and the chance to win more money. For more information and to schedule a donation, go to givemn.org and http://bit.ly/1dZpBle.

Charities Review Council. Its website, smartgivers.org, lets readers check the reputations of some charities and gives advice for donating.

Better Business Bureau. At bbb.org, check out charities' grades and details of some complaints.