I was thinking about this the other day. I was going to start a thread but then felt weird asking people about their personal lives... I know people wouldn't answer unless they wanted to but I rarely ask personal questions. Affection is pretty much at a standstill in our relationship. Whilst I'm not the most affectionate of people, I'm not coping very well with none at all. I'm even more concerned after reading about the level of affection in 15-20 year relationships. We've only got 5 years under our belt, I think we might be in trouble.

See but this is why I always feel a bit weird answering these questions, I mean sure we might have a level of affection that is different to other couples but if I say oh yes, we've together for twenty years and we snog in the kitchen, other hubbers go oh sh!t we never snog. We must be doomed!!
I honestly think it's more about communication, compromise and what works between a particular couple.
It makes me think of a Steve and Miranda moment on SATC when he says, no one will know what happened between us except us - I know that quote is wrong and it's sh!tting me -but the crux of it is that what each person needs is different and what each couple needs is different BUT if you are struggling with a lack of affection, it's totally ok to talk to your DH about it and try and work it out.
I don't know if any of that made sense!

See but this is why I always feel a bit weird answering these questions, I mean sure we might have a level of affection that is different to other couples but if I say oh yes, we've together for twenty years and we snog in the kitchen, other hubbers go oh sh!t we never snog. We must be doomed!!
I honestly think it's more about communication, compromise and what works between a particular couple.
It makes me think of a Steve and Miranda moment on SATC when he says, no one will know what happened between us except us - I know that quote is wrong and it's sh!tting me -but the crux of it is that what each person needs is different and what each couple needs is different BUT if you are struggling with a lack of affection, it's totally ok to talk to your DH about it and try and work it out.
I don't know if any of that made sense!

I didn't exactly reach the conclusion that we're doomed from these responses alone, if you know what I mean. It sort of just cemented the idea that our relationship is certainly lacking why others seem to still share.

I certainly didn't want to make anyone feel weird for answering and I sure didn't mean to be a thread killer!

I was just very tired and giving a raw and honest response. I appreciate other responses too. Sorry op, I didn't mean to take over your thread.

I know it's something I need to talk to him about but talking to him seems to insight little understanding or response. At best it starts an argument. Ahhhhhh.... I'm rambling.

What I really mean to say is thanks for taking the time to reply to me Miss Kitty.

We have together 24 + years.
Hubby struggles with affection (not dtd just normal everyday touch) . As does 2 of our children. It's a inherited sensory thing.
It's something I have had to learn to deal with. He has had to learn that I need some too. It's been hard and occasionally flares up. It is however life and it's not because he doesn't love me.

We have together 24 + years.
Hubby struggles with affection (not dtd just normal everyday touch) . As does 2 of our children. It's a inherited sensory thing.
It's something I have had to learn to deal with. He has had to learn that I need some too. It's been hard and occasionally flares up. It is however life and it's not because he doesn't love me.

I think the last part of your post is super important. I am incredibly unaffectionate towards DH and it is in no way a reflection of how I feel about him. I love him, I'm just incredibly inept at showing it.

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