Sometimes I really envy Dan Steinberg. As one of the few sports bloggers in the country with real-deal locker room access, Steinberg takes us to places those of us trapped in underwear-covered cellars can only dream about . He gets to show-off his deft reporter's instincts and tenacity, but still writes outside the general laws of inverted pyramid-style journalism. This is not one of those days I envy him, however, as the D.C. Bog proprietor reveals a side of the Redskins' locker room that will haunt us forever. For it to be effective, let's get into the proper mind-set. Picture Chris Samuels nude. Got it? Great. Now imagine Mike Sellers nude. Superb. And let's proceed to the locker room where these two nude enthusiasts share common area:

Anyhow, today's Sellers-Samuels partnership kicked off with Sellers dumping about a kilo of baby powder into Samuels pants, and Samuels then standing up and pulling down his pants and swatting the powder into Sellers's face while the few teammates in the room snickered. "Oh, that's all butt powder, too," said Sellers, as he made fake choking noises. "You sprayed butt powder all over me." "That's what you get," Samuels said. "You shouldn't have put it in there. At least I'm gonna be fresh out there. Hey you know what? The way my stomach's been acting up, I needed that."

And it continues, for a few paragraphs more, Steinberg diligently wrote down what each man said about their respective stinky rear ends and the powder it requires. I smell a Pulitzer for Steinberg — one generously doused in butt powder. Redskins Locker Room Talk [DC Sports Bog]