Posts Tagged With: Adventure

I made a comment a month ago out of the blue “well if you want the best crew around, Tag and I are free” which was met with silence, not even a laugh. A couple of days later I got a text “were you serious about crewing me for Tahoe”

Not even a question mark, I hate a lack of punctuation (insert joke about how I use too much punctuation).

“sure”

That’s all I had in an answer… was I serious? I don’t think I even knew.

I read (aka listened to) Shanda Rhimes “Year of Yes” and made a mental note to say yes to any and all adventures that came my way. I have so many things I make excuses to not do, so many adventures I put on the back burner because I find something more pertinent to do, so now I’m saying yes to anything I can… 200 miles of crewing a man I barely speak to sounded like an adventure.

You see, we broke up when I was 5 months pregnant, and it was bad. He was out of my life in the blink of an eye, out of my kids lives, and I was out of the community I had helped him create. Taggart was born and there have been 2 1/2 years of trying to work together with 2 steps forward and 3 back. We aren’t friends. I have an Ex-husband who I consider a friend. Anything I need he would do his best to be there for. We talk and I don’t even feel uncomfortable around him. It is wonderful for the kids to be able to go on vacation with all their important adults (step-mom included) and while I want that for Tag as well, for 3 years it has seemed nearly impossible.

Cue me sitting on a plane next to my toddler, with his sleeping father across the row… I’m really doing this, and it really started with him sleeping the entire flight while I entertain a toddler…

Here’s where I don’t know how to say things… it was just uneventful. I asked no questions before hand so really just trusted he had everything taken care of, which would have been totally out of character for me in our relationship. My biggest wonder, and the most frequently asked question, one room or two. One. We walked in and it hit me, we are sharing a room. Two beds, one room. This man I don’t speak to about anything other then our son and I are sleeping in the same room…. and it’s almost not weird? Well it is weird to hear those sleeping sounds people make when you haven’t been there for them in 3 years. That may stir up some memories… just maybe…

Taggart “I have a Mommy and a Daddy!”

ok….everything is ok…

“Mommy did you go to the bathroom to change so I don’t see your butt?”

“No buddy, I went to the bathroom to change so Daddy didn’t see my butt”

Toddler Giggles.

Over the next 64 hours I drove around the mountains, slept in a car, gave food and gear to my ex, all with a 2 1/2 year old in tow… and it wasn’t bad. It was long, I didn’t get enough sleep, but it was fun in a weird way.

Watching my ex jump as I woke him up from his nap and my face was the first thing he saw was a huge highlight. Who wants to see their ex’s face 142 miles into a race? I’ve crewed him many times and have watched him break down. I’ve had to help put the pieces back together and send him on his way again, I never saw that man out there. He struggled, it wasn’t easy, but he always looked strong to me. (ok even I cringed typing that, but it’s true..)

It was not the adventure I thought it would be at all. I didn’t get some crazy awesome ridiculous story out of the weekend. There wasn’t any intense fights to write about. It was just, normal. Or however normal crewing someone for 200 miles can be…

I have always been a firm believer that My Littles should have an adult in their life they can tell anything to and know they will not be judged. Someone that will keep their secrets if that is what they need. Someone to guide them on the right path, someone I too can trust. I never thought my children would choose me for this job…

On a hike the other day I wore Tru while the others marched along, Tea holding Tenny’s hand on the steep downhills. We chatted as usual and the kids began sharing some worries they had. I took a deep breath and thought very hard before I responded, even for me this was a bit much. It was eye-opening to me how much they talk to each other. They shared with me that they had talked about this very thing at the park a couple of days prior. I had wondered what they were doing, not playing just walking in a little gang together around the perimeter. Apparently they were sharing all the little spy work they had done with and discussing their feelings. As a Mother wanting my children to have a super tight bond, I was proud. Now that they were allowing me in on their little secret, I was honored.

Sister Love

He always gets excited when we are going on a hike and falls asleep within minutes… apparently we aren’t very exciting!

So they told me what they knew, their feelings, their worries, and asked me to keep their secret. It is not something harmful to anyone else, something that could easily be avoided if people in their lives made an effort, but I still felt uneasy as I made the promise. I will not tell on you. I still feel uneasy, but I can not lose their trust. If I tell, they will know, and then I will not get the chance to be a part of their little gang any longer. Their counseling sessions with each other will become a secret from me, and I can not have that. Maybe that’s wrong of me? Maybe I’m suppose to “be a parent” and not a friend? Maybe I’m making the biggest mistake every and I’m going to pay for it later…

But I honestly don’t care…

I have a secret that I’m not telling! My Littles have a pretty awesome club and I am excited to be a part of it!

My Gang

The hike went on, we wandered with no real direction or plan, and it was perfect. I’m really digging not coming up with a plan even for my own runs. Choosing left or right, up or down, going with the flow and allowing the day to create itself. I find myself dreading the days we have things to do and longing for the ones we can get lost in. The no agenda days of the summer have been missing far too long…

We got our dog Baya from a rescue when she was just a puppy. We were told she was a

German Short haired Pointer and maybe possibly mixed with pit bull. She was super cute and very playful. One of our first adventures with her was a super crazy day of sketchy hiking. She was the perfect puppy for us.

I have very specific rules about kids and dogs, they are never to be alone together. Basically neither dogs nor kids should ever be trusted! I also don’t believe dogs should be treated like people.

So we began our big homeless summer at my +1’s race. Baya was tied to the van and people wandered over to pet her and she happily rolled over giving everyone her belly to rub. At some point, some little dogs showed up and were pretty yappy which caused Baya to decide to bark too. Tajh and Tea were getting ready to run, Seth was out running already, Tay was all over the place, and I had the babies. I grabbed Baya’s leash and took her with me to watch the big two start. Everything was fine, the big kids took off and I walked over to put Baya back and the babies to bed. I stopped to talk for a minute. My +1’s brother was moving about taking care of all the race stuff and happened to duck under the flags next to the little two, Baya, and me. The first pass was fine, but apparently Baya did not like his second go past, and without knocking over the 2 children standing next to her, bit him, on the neck. Not knowing how bad the bite was, I of course freaked out. My doofus of a dog has never reacted to people that way. I had no idea what to think. Hindsight it makes sense, she was protecting her little people.

Baby love.

So I yelled at Seth, said we weren’t taking her, and he didn’t agree. It was decided we would be more careful. Fact is she is a great running partner, amazing pack mule for hiking, the kids best friend, and usually she pays no attention to people. Ok plan B, she will be kenneled anytime there are lots of people around, I can live with that.

Or can I? So a couple days ago Seth was putting Tru in the car, which means the sliding door was open and Seth had his back to it. Tay was playing in the front seat, and everyone else was off somewhere else. A friend of ours (who, yes, knew what had happened prior) came by the car and went to pet Baya. All Seth hears was a snap, fuck. She got him on the face. Clearly his presence in her area with the kids involved was not ok with her.

Friends

Please note that both of these times she had already been on a run that day. It wasn’t being over excited, lack of exercise, she was calm both times prior. It was simple protection.

Our hard worker taking a rest after summiting her first 14er.

So what do we do? I literally watch my children put their hands in her mouth and take food from her. I watch her go on runs with the kids. I watch them ride her, lay on her, cuddle with her, poke her, why did she have to do this? In no way do I want to get rid of my dog, in no way is it her fault, but she can’t stay with us on our trip. We are around too many people, friends and strangers. This cannot happen again.

Baby hugs.

So as I write Seth is in Phoenix with her. We contacted the rescue we got her from and they were kind enough to take her in until we get back. Once we are home we will find the perfect training for her and spend whatever it takes for her to learn protecting the kids does not mean snapping at anyone.

The best reading buddy.

Maybe we are terrible people. Maybe we are doing the right thing. But, she is our dog. The kids love her, and we will do everything we can for her to stay a part of our family.

This guy is really going to miss his best friend for the next couple of months….

A quick fill in to keep you all up to date! (seriously I know you can’t live without my words!)

After finishing Redcloud I knew I would need a little break from big mountains (I’m still possibly maybe, kinda broken and not willing to risk real injury and count myself out of all the fun for the rest of the trip). We headed to Ouray and decided sleeping in the car instead of setting up all our camping stuff would be best.

Sneaky Lady!

We found a nice little cooking spot and I perfected my biscuits and gravy recipe. All the little people love kicking it by the creek, throwing rocks, building stuff, and generally being hoodlums. I love the ease in cleaning dishes! (don’t judge I have a lot to clean…)

Hoodlums and to shenanigans I’m sure.

Jealous? Just come by, I’ll cook you up something yummy too.

Our awesome side of the road sleeping spot also brought some new friends!

New friends!

The big 2 took a run up the Camp Bird road with Daddy (part of the Hardrock course) and enjoyed some fresh waterfall water and some awesome views. It was in small part a reconnaissance mission to see if this crazy Mom would be able to make the drive to the trail head for Mount Sneffels, a 14er that would be super fun! We began the drive and I made it to what looked like a crazy turn, huge drop off, and gnarly overhang… needless to say I freaked and backed out. Seth and the kids were awesome to take it on by foot, I’m thinking it might be a go… maybe…

They love exploring on foot!

While they ran, the little 3 and I hung out. Tay found his first snake in the wild! Apparently he even gets scared! He was the awesome little brother that he is and watched over the snake until Tajh came back so he could share in the awesomeness.

Kickin it Tenny style! “Mommy why can’t I jump into the creek from here?!”

Snake! Tay was “still shaking” for a while after the spotting.

After this big adventure we headed into Ouray to wander the streets and play in the Hot Springs. This was a big promise after our Redcloud summit for the kids and I have to say they were not disappointed! Both Tru and Tenny just finished ISR (youtube it) swim lessons and had a great time swimming, floating, and showing off!

After another night in the car, it’s Father’s day and Seth and the children are off exploring together while I do this silly blog thing!

I have to say, being homeless now for over a week now has been amazing. No plans, no obligations, just riding whichever way the wind takes us is pretty freeing! Not sure what tomorrow holds, but I can tell you it will probably be epic!

Here it goes! This crazy, grand, amazing, extreme adventure in how to live life as awesome/adventuring/fun/kind/crazy divorced parents is underway.We spend yesterday out at Aravaipa Runnings night race Adrenaline, setting up then the big 2 and Seth ran. Unfortunately both Tajh and Tea ended up running alone at points, which at night is not much fun when you are little. Tajh finished the 13k but was pretty dehydrated from the 100 degree temps at night. Seth ended up catching up to dehydrated, dry heaving, and generally sad/tired Tea. A rescue mission was hatched and my Lady Friend Lala and I picked them up. After some forced fluids by us parentals and some sleep my little Lady is doing well.

The plan for the next week for so is to hang in flagstaff, hike Humphrey’s and head to Silverton. The kids are stoked for none 100 degree weather and some creeks to play in!

Traveling with kids tip for the day- always be willing to smile and laugh no matter what happens. The plan is gonna change no matter what you do. Someone will go potty in their car seat, vomit, or scream the entire drive, your job to to choose to be flexible! (Coming from the Queen of control freaks!)