20.2.12

I Am Here, always :)

among the many kinds of personalities that we can list, there is one that i have always wanted to be most; one that i'm striving to be too. one that i hope will make others happy, because it makes me happy. which is to be the one that others turn to; at troubled times, when they are sad, when they are lonely, or when they are weak. i love those times the most, no matter how heartbreaking it might be. i want to be the helping hand, the shoulder to cry on, the attentive listener. i love to be that.

i see many others out there, whose actions and words shout independence. another shout strong. another shout lemah lembut. another shout tenang. hm.. i'm not sure what i want mine to be if i were to put it in one word: trustworthy? penolong? supporter? entah.

but the thing is, it's not easy. for someone to be able to come to you in their darkest hours, or in their saddest moments, one must've had the biggest trust on you; that they are willing to share their thoughts and emotions with you. and i'm not sure if the 'trustworthy' tag is even mine as of now. tsk.

i was thinking, should i be a doctor one day, am i able to be an attentive one? one who listens with her heart and not just her stethoscope. one who read between the lines, instead of just the charts or scans. i pray that Allah would use me, not just to heal those underlying diseases, but the diseases of the hearts.

looking back, when people turn to me in those times they need someone else, i felt contented. those time when we were able to give words of encouragement, or support, or those excerpts of Hadith, or verses of the Quran; i hope that in one way or another, Allah healed them through me.

so to those out there who i love dearly, even though you might not even know it:

i may not be be able to make you strong, if you come to me when you're weak;

i may not be able to cheer you up when you're sad,

i may not be able to bring back the things that you lost,

but there is only one thing that i can promise you insyaAllah;

that i am always here for you,

to remind you that Allah is there to help you through anything.

Allah is Great.

Just Great. :)

وَأَنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ أَضۡحَكَ وَأَبۡكَىٰ

وَأَنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ أَمَاتَ وَأَحۡيَا

And that it is He (Allâh) Who makes (whom He wills) laugh,

and makes (whom He wills) weep.

And that it is He (Allâh) Who causes death and gives life.

[53: 43-44]

ps: used to pray that i can be like Khadijah R.A to my loved ones, and to my future mr Right. thinking deeper now, i want to be like Khadijah R.A. to everyone. dreaming big? maybe. but everything starts with an intention, kan?