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June 09, 2014

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HI GANG. DASHIELL DRISCOLL HERE.
THERE'S MORE TO THE INTERNET THAN BORING
EMAILS AND WE FOUND IT FOR YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
(INTRO DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
WANT TO ENJOY ALL THE CUTENESS OF A BABY
WITHOUT ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY OF
HAVING A BABY?
THIS EPISODE'S FOR YOU.
FIRST UP, THIS BABY TEACHES A MODERN
DANCE CLASS SOME NEW MOVES.
(STRINGED INSTRUMENTAL PLAYS)
WOW, SO MAJESTIC.
HEY, LET'S SEE WHAT
THIS OTHER BABY HAS TO
SAY ABOUT IT.
(FAST SOUNDING BABY BABBLE)
I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T CATCH THAT.
WOULD YOU MIND SLOWING
IT DOWN A LITTLE?
(SLOWER BABY BABBLE SOUND)
OK THANKS. GOT IT THAT TIME.
FACE DOWN, EYES CLOSED. THAT'S THE WAY
THIS BABY EATS SPAGHETTI.
DREW, YOU'RE GOING TO DROWN.
REMINDS ME OF COLLEGE.
HEY SPEAKING OF COLLEGE THIS BABY GIVES
THE MOST INSPIRING
COMMENCEMENT SPEECH OF
ALL TIME.
AND I WANNA BE BATMAN.
(CROWD CHEERS)
BUT THEY CAN'T ALL BE GOOD GUYS.
SOME BABIES JUST WANT TO
WATCH THE WORLD BURN.
REALLY PUTS A NEW SPIN
ON THE WHOLE TO CATCH
A PREDATOR THING.
WAIT, LIVE BREAKING NEWS, I'M BEING TOLD
WE HAVE VIDEO OF A
BABY SIGNING THE BLUES.
(GUITAR PLAYS)
(BABY SINGS UNINTELLIGIBLE WORDS)
OK, I THINK WE HAVE
ONE MORE VIDEO OF A
A BABY SINGING THE BLUES.
ONE LESS LONELY...
NO THAT'S PLENTY.
THAT'S ENOUGH,
THAT'S PLENTY JUSTIN,
THAT'S GOOD.
OK, THAT'S ALL THE
INTERNET BABY VIDEOS
FOR NOW.
BYE.