If models are superheroes, then I think this model is her arch-nemesis.

This is Crazy Eyes the eDress Me Model. Her superpower is a stare that burrows deep into your soul and scares the crap out of you.

No, seriously. That is the unblinking stare of the unbalanced. I can’t even focus on the dress she’s wearing, because I’m afraid to look away. Although, does she draw her powers from the giant headband wrapped around her forehead? That’s the only reasonable explanation I can find for why she’s wearing a giant headband with most of the dresses.

Oh, thank god, she’s finally looked away. This dress actually isn’t too bad; the first one appears to be the worst of the three. But it’s really hard to get to past the crazy eyes to actually examine the dresses. This is one of those cases where the model just takes away from the dress, because she’s so totally the focus of the pictures.

And now I’m kind of afraid she’s going to come after me. On the up side, I have enough guy friends who are drawn to the crazy that I can probably distract her with a good-looking hipster.

Ok, I’m sorry, I can’t do it. I can’t lie. The only things crazier than your eyes are the poses you strike in those dresses. Hell, that first dress is less crazy-looking than you are, and it’s a tie-dyed kimono.

Congratulations. You’re crazier than a tie-dyed kimono. That takes a lot of work. Although, in your case, you make it look effortless.