It am writing this one month into the school year and your kids are well into doing their homework and investing in big assignments.Every parent wants their child to succeed in school - but do you really know what intelligence is made of? It isn't just about IQ scores or test results.

The more "yes" answers you have to the questions below, the more likely you are to foster intelligence in your children.

I understand that effort is as important as genes in determining IQ.

I realize that the way I praise my children has an impact on their academic performance.

I know that talking to my child and listening to their opinions is important.

Tags

Comments

Comments are the opinions of individual posters and do not reflect the views of Walsh Associates, LLC.

susy

September 30, 2013, 8:21 pm

question

why would one "try to avoid telling his child how smart they are?" Does boosting confidence diminish effort? Isn't positive reinforcement good motivator? and vote of confidence from your parent? This one didn't make sense to me, while the others did.

Erin Walsh

October 1, 2013, 9:41 am

The trouble with "smart"

Susy, Thanks for your comment! Of all of them, this one is the most counterintuitive - thanks for pointing this one out. We actually changed the language a bit (as you'll see in the post above) to make it a bit more understandable. As you note, there is nothing wrong with positive reinforcement and recognizing our children's strengths. Indeed we want to do that with our kids!

The problem is that most kids hear the word "smart" and they interpret it as a fixed trait or a natural talent as opposed to something that they work for and develop over time. When we overemphasize being smart, this may cause some children to avoid challenges and mistakes lest it make them look "dumb." For more on the power of our words on children's motivation, read Carol Dweck's book "Mindset." Here is a video where she comments on our use of the word smart.

Like anything, you know your child better than anyone else. If you are reinforcing strengths, persistence, effort, and the learning that comes with mistakes as part of being "smart" then bravo! Does that make sense? What do you think?

Submit a Comment

Your NameRequired. Will appear next to your comment.

Your EmailRequired. Will not be displayed on site or used to send unsolicited messages.

Your Website URLIf applicable. A link to your site will appear with your comment.