As we were walking along the clifftop path from Milford on Sea to Barton on Sea, this sign suddenly stepped out in front of us:

It was about as welcome as a policeman in a brothel, and just like a policeman in a brothel it caused an immediate cessation of all exercise as we ground to a halt and stood motionless, staring at it. Curse that coastal erosion! Especially because the recommended inland detour consisted of three miles of this:

We stood in silence, contemplating the traffic and the fact that we would much prefer to be walking on the clifftop. I looked back at the closed footpath, yearning. All of a sudden, to my hopeful consternation, I spotted a cyclist blatantly cycle through the space by the sign and straight on!

As I watched this naughty and illegal peddler of illegal cycle routes make his way along the supposedly closed and supposedly eroded path, I saw him pass some walkers coming from the other direction. What?!? Well that was it. If they could do it, we could do it!

It has to be said, there were a couple of slightly dodgy bits. Single file everybody!

We were through, and from there the footpath rolled over the cliffs and carried us to Barton on Sea, where our walk ended.

Points on this part of the walk (copy and paste the co-ordinates into Google Earth):

6 Responses to 70d – Milford on Sea to Barton on Sea

Glad your footpath was open!. We’ve geocached near there (inland mainly) but the route took us through the golf course and onto the cliff top for a short while. We clambered down onto the beach for a rest… and then discovered about 250yards to our right (on the beach) was a nudist area!

I picked up a couple of caches round there too. We didn’t see the nudist beach, which is quite a good thing because I always said that if we reach one, and if there are lots of people without clothes, then I would also strip off in order to walk through…

You’ve had more detours inland away from your coastal walk than a brothel has had hot policemen [I once had to cross-examanine a number of PCs who’d raided a brot… an Upmarket Massage Parlour… and were suggesting that there were… er… extra services being offered. A very entertaining case, with some most intriguing witnesses… and evidence]

I once had to do a property inspection of what I thought was a flat. I made an appointment through the head tenant who said his subtenant was very difficult about letting people in, but that they would make the appointment for me. They also sent me keys for the shop below, which was vacant. On the day I turned up and knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. A few more knocks. A few more no answers. Eventually I decided to see if they bunch of keys they sent me included the flat. I took the first Yale key, and put it in the lock. It didn’t fit, but I realised to my surprise that the entire lock was loose and then whole thing twisted round and the door opened. Great; I would be able to do my inspection. I walked in to a small lobby area off which some stairs led upstairs. At the top of the stairs a purple drape had been pinned to the door frame leading to the remainder of the flat.

As I always do with properties that appear vacant, I yelled out, “Hello?”. All of a sudden there was a commotion from the top floor and the sound of footsteps. The drape was pulled away and an attractive woman in a velvet tracksuit appeared at the top of the stairs, apologising that she didn’t realise the front door was open and asking me who I was.

In my naivety I had STILL not twigged at this stage, so I said what I always say when turning up to site which, in this case, was rather unfortunate:

“Hello – you should be expecting me – I have an appointment”!!!!

This woman appeared very confused at this point, said no-one had told her and she was actually with someone else at the moment. Only then did the penny drop!

At this point I was ushered firmly out of the property, the door was shut behind me, and this time it was double locked!