Ask a Naples Expert!
Pneumatic Elevators?
What are they?
A pneumatic elevator works just like a
standard elevator, the main differences
are the lack of engine rooms, hoist
ways, and cables. Not many homes in
Southern California have basements
in which to house engine rooms for
elevators. The other difference is the
way you’re transported. The pneumatic
or vacuum elevator is enclosed in a
polycarbonate tube, a transparent tube,
so you don’t experience any feelings of
claustrophobia.

How does it work?
In simple terms? Gravity!
In more technical terms, the elevator
moves up and down through air
suction. The principle operation
is based on the ascending push
generated by the difference between
the atmospheric pressure on the top of
the elevator car and the atmospheric
pressure under the elevator car. The
depression (vacuum) required to lift the
car is achieved by turbines operating
as exhaust fans which are located
at the top of the unit. A piston gear,
surrounded by a sliding air-tight seal
allows an almost frictionless movement
and hoists the elevator car due to the
pneumatic depression generated on the
upper part. A valve regulating inflow of
air controls the pneumatic depression,
enables descent and controls the speed
of the elevator car.

Sounds very futuristic!
It sounds futuristic and far out, but if
you’ve ever done any drive-up banking
or refilled a prescription from the car,
a similar technology is used to deliver
your medicine or banking information
from the teller to where the drive up
stand is.

How did you get started?
I’m originally from Argentina
where I went to school to study
architecture and worked on many
state infrastructure projects (roads,
bridges, etc.). When I moved my
family to the United States in the early
80’s, my technical and educational
background enabled me to start a
small construction company in Los
Alamitos, CA. Through the years the
company grew successful and took on
bigger more ambitious projects.
One such project, my dream project,
was a custom home I built for my
family from the ground up in Naples,
CA. When I completed the home and
had my mother visit from Argentina,
she was unable to go up the stairs
easily, she was in her late 80’s at
that time.
I started to realize that there needed to
be options for elderly folks who were
living in their dream home, but due
to maybe their age and their medical
conditions they would be forced to
move, or even worse, be isolated to
certain parts of their own homes, their
dream homes.

What is your affiliation
with Naples Vacuum
Elevators?
That’s a very good question. Once
I found out about the product and
expressed interest in purchasing one
for the dream home I was building,
I was extremely impressed. The
manufacturer was looking to expand to
the west coast and I was inspired and
interested in helping people solve the
riddle of the stairs! I didn’t want to see
people have to sell their dream home
because they could no longer handle
the stairs. I’ve been an Authorized
Dealer/Representative ever since.

Can anyone have an
elevator in their home?
As long as the home has two or more
floors, we’re in good shape. Finding
the right location within the home,
taking the right measurements,
having the unit manufactured to
specifications, preparing the location
(cutting the holes through the ceiling/
floor), all take about 14-16 weeks. The
actual installation is usually done in
two days.

Are there any size
differences or other
customizable options?
Absolutely! The units are currently
offered in three sizes (diameters) the
30”, 37”, and 52”.
As for colors, we’re adding new colors
and finishes all the time. Currently
Dark and light gray, white, black, and
taupe are all available to fit in to the
homes existing décor.

Any advice for people
considering your product?
Sure! I suggest anyone looking to
add this product realize a couple
of important points. It’s portable.
Meaning, if you install this today and
move to another home in the future,
you can bring the elevator with you
and. Think twice though! Homes
with residential elevators drive up the
value of the home, so you may want
to consider the investment before
moving it to your next home!
Call 562-438-4895 to schedule your
free consultation.

inside

JLIFE | Sivan/Tammuz 5774 | JUNE 2014

54

VIEWPOINT

22

Cooking Jewish
with Judy Bart Kancigor

24

PROFILES

Israel Scene
At the Foot of the Mountain

58

Israeli Guy
The White Stuff

Praising Kindness
Honoring Rabbi Nancy Myers

26

On the Lighter Side
Chelsea’s Choice?

62

Fresh Orange Jews
O.C.’s Fresh Faces

FEATURES

34

Interfaith or Interfaithless?
Programs welcome
couples into the fold.

38

Searching for Soulmates
An interview with
Judith Gottesman.

40

All You Need is Love…
and a Certificate
The hurdles of
marrying in Israel.

42

Flowing and Flattering
Israeli designers do it
with surprises.
A&E

63

History/Blogs
Orange County’s Jewish
History & The Blogosphere

64

Rachel Goes Rogue
Anti-Semitism Takes
Center Court

34

66

EPIC Afikomen
The only Easter-Day scavenger
hunt without eggs.
IN EVERY ISSUE

12

Choice Words
A Letter From the Editor

16

46

J Doc On The Street
What’s your view on
interfaith unions?

48

Knock, Knock
Yiddish colloquialisms.

50

The Peel
Laughing it Off in the O.C.

52

Concert Calendar
Courtesy of the Orange
County Concert Guide

8 JUNE 2014 |

52

LIFESTYLE

Jlife

Letters/Who Knew
Words From our Readers

44

54

Society Roundup
Faces of the Community

68

Seniors Calendar
Fitness, Education & More

70

Advertising Index

Look inside for
Kiddish, our new
insert publication,
right after page 36.

Saul Gelbart is a Certified
Family Law Specialist who has
been helping people resolve all
matters of Family Law with the
utmost care and discretion for
over 30 years. He is an active
member in his community,
taking time to serve at local
schools and coaching athletics.

 Fellow, American Academy
of Matrimonial Lawyers;
Past President of the
Southern California Chapter.
 Named one of the Top 50
lawyers in all of Orange County
- all specialties included by Super Lawyers.
 Southern California Super
Lawyers list, 10 years in a row.
 Best Lawyers in America list,
4 years in a row.

Shavuot shines a light on our choice and commitment.
BY ILENE SCHNEIDER

AT SUNDOWN ON June 3 we celebrate the
holiday of Shavuot. Besides being a holiday
where we enjoy blintzes and cheesecake, symbolic of milk that nurtures babies as the Torah
nurtures all of us, Shavuot commemorates the
revelation of the Torah on Mt. Sinai to the
Jewish people and marks the grain harvest in
the Torah. It is directly connected with Passover, occurring 50 days later and bridging the
exodus with the presentation of the Law.
Moreover, Shavuot is about choice. We
read the Book of Ruth, because it highlights
one woman’s choice to join the Jewish people
and accept the Torah. The holiday is often
associated with confirmation, when young
people affirm their commitment to Torah, as
well as conversion, when people make a conscious choice to
Interfaith
embrace Judaism.
relationships
used
However, not everybody
to happen only
makes that choice. Interfaith
primary identification with Juin Hollywood,
relationships used to happen
daism.
only in Hollywood, it seems,
it seems, and,
While some congregations
and, in any case, to someone
try to be welcoming, many
in any case, to
else. Since the 1970s though,
are not getting the job done,
someone else.
intermarriage has been growaccording to a number of the
ing among Jews. Different
couples. Several local rabbis,
strains of Judaism look at the
along with others around the country, are trysituation differently. While Orthodox and
ing to educate couples about the benefits and
Conservative rabbis do not perform mixed
beauty of Jewish tradition while trying to learn
marriages, some Reform rabbis do so, but only
after educating the couple about the benefits how they can serve intermarried couples and
their children.
of having a Jewish household.
“Beyond the hostile (and essentially fearWhat happens after the wedding is another
matter. In some cases the couple chooses to ful) attitude American Jews tend to espouse,
abandon Judaism or to abandon religion al- [there] lies in mixed marriages a special lesson
together. In others there is an attempt to in- in coexistence,” wrote Jewish World blogger
corporate the customs of both religions into Benjy Cannon. For others, it may be a lesson
the household. Still others want to have their in tolerance or integrating someone new into
12 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

the family, kicking and screaming or not.
“Clearly,” said sociologist Jack Wertheimer
of the Jewish Theological Seminary, “not all
intermarried families are alike. Levels of Jewish
connection differ, [such] as between families
with an unambiguous commitment to Judaism and families exposing their children to aspects of two distinct religions; between those
residing close to vital centers of Jewish life and
those living at a geographic remove; between
those where the Jewish partner has benefited
from a strong Jewish background and those
where the Jewish partner has not.”
See how two young rabbis – and others –
approach intermarriage in this issue of JLife.
Clearly, the choice about intermarriage is not
just about the couples, but about how the
community approaches them. A

Jlife

| JUNE 2014 13

14 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

LETTERS

Kvetch & Kvell

The Honorable Eddie Rose
Former Laguna Niguel (CA)
City Councilman

A RESPONSE TO THE MAY
ISSUE’S “PROOF OF THE
TRUTH?” LETTER
A BIASED MEDIA?
The left-wing media virtually had
a cow over the racially biased, but
private comments of Los Angeles
Clippers owner Donald Sterling.
Yet, when U.S. Secretary of State
John Kerry made some public,
vitriolic, anti-Israel comments at a
recent meeting of world leaders,
accusing Israel of fostering
apartheid, nary a word could be
heard from this same media.
Now we know one of the reasons
Hillary Clinton was asked to step
down as Secretary of State. She
was unwilling to carry the ball
for President Obama’s pro-Arab,
anti-Israel agenda, particularly
when she is considering a run for
President in 2016.

Like Ms. Gottfried, I also looked on
the internet and did not find any
press coverage of the incident you
described. You said that on March
5, 2012, Prime Minister Netanyahu
was forced to exit the White House
through the garbage door at
President Obama’s request.
I did find speculation that this
could happen — postulated by
two periodicals that referred to
the president in a hateful and
derogatory manner.
Mr. Kaiden, why not use truth
instead of unconfirmed speculation
to influence readers regarding
Anti-Semitism. We experience
enough paranoia as it is.
Steve Diamond

Who Knew?
A grandson of slaves, a boy was born
in a poor neighborhood of New Orleans
known as the “Back of Town.”
PHOTO BY ZACH DALIN

We also know where Kerry’s (and
Obama’s) sympathies lie with the
Palestinians. But Israel is the one
and only true United States ally
in the Middle East. How I wish we
had an American President with
the courage and integrity of Israeli
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

His father abandoned the family when
the child was an infant. His mother
became a prostitute, and the boy and his
sister had to live with their grandmother.
A Jewish family, Karnofsky, who had
immigrated from Lithuania to the U.S.,
had pity for the 7-year-old boy and
brought him into their home. Initially
given ‘work’ in exchange for his board
and to feed this hungry child. There
he remained and slept in this Jewish
family’s home, where for the first time
in his life he was treated with kindness
and tenderness.
Later, he learned to sing and play several Russian and Jewish songs. Over
time, this boy became the adopted
son of this family. The Karnofskys gave
him money to buy his first trumpet, the
custom in the Jewish families. They sincerely admired his musical talent. Later,
when he became professional musician
and composer, he used these Jewish
melodies in compositions, such as “St.
James Infirmary” and “Go Down Moses.”
The little black boy grew up and wrote
a book about this Jewish family who
had adopted him in 1907. In memory of
this family and until the end of his life,
he wore a Star of David and said that in
this family he had learned “how to live
real life and determination.”
This little boy was called Louis
“Satchmo” Armstrong. Louis Armstrong
proudly spoke fluent Yiddish.

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Rated AV Preeminent, the highest possible peer review rating
Selected as a Southern California Super Lawyer
One of the “Best Lawyers in America” in the practice of Family Law
One of Southern California’s “Top Rated Lawyers”
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Jlife

| JUNE 2014 21

Israel Scene | BY ANDREA SIMANTOV

At the Foot of
the Mountain

EVERY
ONE OF US
PLAYED A
RESPECTIVE
ROLE IN
DEFINING
THE
PERFECTION
OF “THE
WHOLE.”
22 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

DRAWING BY PEPE FAINBERG

Shavuot brings us together.

I GREW UP in a home where Israel “lived.” From the
blue-and-white Jewish National Fund charity boxes that
graced our window sills to the annual Israel Day Parade
and Film Festival, my father made little secret that we were
living a “secondary” Jewish life by virtue of not living in
Israel. The extended family mocked him behind his back
(and sometimes to his face), but outside arguments held
little sway. We had a state, and Jews should be living there.
Case closed; the defense rested.
Utilizing 20-20 hindsight, my eyes still well up with
tears as I consider his Zionist naiveté; every Israeli was a
superior human being and falafel — even really rancid
falafel — was manna from Heaven. To even suggest to my

father that there were Israeli con artists, prostitutes and
other assorted lowlifes was tantamount to holding a pep
rally for the Third Reich. One just did not go there. He
loved all Jews and sported an aura of shame that he did
not suffer along with his brothers in the Inquisition, 1929
Hebron Riots or the Nazi war machine. An early defender
of elderly Jews living in decaying neighborhoods, my
father marched into tenements and escorted octogenarians
to doctors’ offices and grocery stores, defiantly wearing
faux-military gear and an iron-set jaw. His children cringed
with embarrassment as our guerrilla-warfare Daddy ranted
non-stop about the need to protect those in need of protection. And while he would have gone to the mat for

VIEWPOINT

Find love now!
Personalized Jewish
Matchmaking

Judith Gottesman, MSW
any human being — Jew, Christian, Buddhist, Moslem, Hindu and
Jain — who wished to observe his or her faith in peace, he believed
that historically, Jews had gotten the rawest deal of all in the tolerance
department.
Shavuot is the anniversary of when we received the Torah, and it
always astounds me to think that our entire nation — regardless of lifestyle, background, ethnicity — stood shoulder-to-shoulder in silence,
united by both the holiness and enormity of the gift we were about to
receive. Like a magnificent multicolored, multi-textured tapestry, every
one of us played a respective role in defining the perfection of “the
whole.” I often reflect on what this means whether washing the dishes,
folding laundry or performing some other solitary, mindless task. It
takes “alone time” to let my imagination wander to a Woodstock place
where we shared caring and hope as a united people. I must be alone
to go there, because people — real flesh-and-blood people — get in
the way of my “peace and love” reverie.
All too often, the reality of Israel interferes with my fantasy of this
chosen homeland. Stereotypes can, sadly, become all too real. The
frequent coarseness of our citizenry, the filth in the streets of certain
neighborhoods, the intolerance between religious and non-religious
and the daily terrorist threat can make us wring our hands in hopelessness. My husband and I just returned from visiting our respective
children and grandchildren who live on different continents, and we
occasionally found ourselves questioning our decision to remain in
Israel, so far away from the hugs and love we yearn for. This soulsearching makes us closer and, ultimately, results in our redefining our
Zionism and commitment to assuming active roles in the unfolding
of Jewish history. Living in Israel allows us to do this while standing
“center stage.”
Despite the aforementioned angst, there is no greater feeling than
watching the streets of Jerusalem flood with people — young and
old — walking to the Kotel (Western Wall) and back, throughout the
night and wee hours of the morning. For many, it is the social event
of the season, and the only rule seems to be that one wants to mingle
with brethren. The closer one gets to the Old City, the denser the
crowd; indeed, this swarm of Jewish humanity consists of Haredim
in streimels, barefoot hippies, students in jeans, tourists encased in
suits and ties, women with bare heads, women with scarves and wigs,
Jews-by-choice, grandmas and grandpas and babies in strollers. These
Jews are white, black and Asian, Eastern European and North African.
Some are Torah observant, and others are not. But every one of them/
us/you grabs the gift of Shavuot with both hands and declares with our
presence, “I’m here. Count me in.”
On a personal level, the challenge remains for me to take my unbridled love out of the private sphere and learn to apply it while being
jostled in the shuk or trying to ignore boom boxes on the beach in Tel
Aviv. After all, there would seem to be no greater gift than discovering
an ability to stand at the foot of the mountain with others and feel that
we are finally worthy to receive God’s Torah.
I know what that feeling is called. It’s called love.

New York-born Andrea Simantov is a mother of six who
moved to Jerusalem in 1995. She frequently lectures on
the complexity and magic of life in Jerusalem and can be
contacted at elkadee@netvision.net.il.

Jlife

| JUNE 2014 23

Israeli Guy | BY TEDDY WEINBERGER

VIEWPOINT

The White Stuff
You want cheese with that?

AS IS TRUE
OF JEWS
THE WORLD
OVER,
ISRAELIS ARE
PARTIAL TO
CHEESECAKE
AT THIS TIME
OF YEAR.
24 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

IN HONOR OF the upcoming holiday of Shavuot,
with its tradition of eating dairy foods, I decided to
write about the dairy section in Israeli supermarkets.
Perhaps what is most striking about the Israeli dairy
case is the size of the products: there are no gallon milk
containers (the largest size is two liters — around half a
gallon), there are no mounds of large hunks of cheeses
and the various kinds of cottage cheese (differing mainly
in fat content) only come in one size: 250 grams (one
cup). My wife says that this is a throwback to a time
when Israeli refrigerators were small.
Most Israeli milk is sold in one-liter plastic bags (milk
is also available in cartons and plastic jugs). The bags are
fairly sturdy, though they can feel a little slimy to the
uninitiated (this is because, while chances are good that
they will make it into your refrigerator without springing a leak, there might have been a leaky bag in the
supermarket’s bin). You need to buy a plastic milk-bag
holder if you are going to buy the milk bags. The fancy
ones come with a sharp edge upon which you can snip
off a top corner of the bag before pouring; for those with
non-fancy holders, a scissors does the job nicely, and the
desperation method of biting off the corner works as
well — though less nicely.
As is true of Jews the world over, Israelis are partial
to cheesecake at this time of year. However, rather than
cream cheese (which has grown in favor only recently),
the main ingredient in Israeli cheesecake is “white
cheese.” A mark of white cheese’s popularity is that it
comes in sizes ranging up to 850 grams. White cheese
is similar to cream cheese, but it has the consistency of
thick yogurt. My daughter Rebecca, our family’s white
cheese fan, likes to use it as a dip for pita or chips.
Hard cheeses occupy relatively little space in the Israeli
dairy case. The Tnuva dairy giant (which monopolizes
Israel’s dairy industry) mainly pushes its two “yellow
cheeses” (akin to “American cheese”): Gilboa and Emek.
Surprisingly, almost as large as the hard cheese section is
the feta section (also known as “Bulgarian cheese” here).

Whether they get it from cow’s, sheep’s or goat’s milk,
Israelis eat large amounts of feta cheese — in salads, but
also with fruit and especially with watermelon.
Labaneh and leben, exotic items in the States, are
much more popular in Israel. Labaneh, sometimes
known as yogurt cheese or strained yogurt, is often eaten
for breakfast with olive oil and bread. Leben, which is
technically “coagulated low-butterfat milk” (whatever
that means), is similar to yogurt. And here is an interesting Israeli dairy-case story. I noticed that the same
company (of course, Tnuva) makes two lines of leben.
One line comes in slick colorful containers, while the
other line comes in simple white plastic boxes. Other
than a very slight price difference, the two lines of leben
seem identical — and yet it is precisely the “no-frills”
line that is more expensive. I asked Tiran about this (he
and his brothers own and run my supermarket — it is
part of Givat Ze’ev’s small-townness to note here that
a few years ago Tiran married my neighbor’s daughter
Oshrit and I went to their wedding). Tiran said, “Don’t
you know?” He then pointed to the tiny “badatz” seal on
the no-frills package. “Badatz” (the acronym in Hebrew
stands for “high court of law”) is an ultra-Orthodox seal
of kashrut. Tnuva’s regular leben only has the supervision
of Israel’s chief rabbinate, which obviously is not good
enough for a lot of people.
Endnote: My wife, Sarah, eats 3-percent cottage
cheese for breakfast every day. She says that “it is rich
and creamy and is the perfect food.” Sarah also says that
it epitomizes for her what the Bible means when it refers
to the land of Israel as a “land of milk and honey” — an
excellent quotation upon which to end this survey of the
Israeli dairy case.
Happy Shavuot!

Teddy Weinberger, Ph.D., is a tennis coach who made
aliyah with his family in 1997 from Miami, where he
was an assistant professor of religious studies.
He and his wife, Sarah Jane Ross, have five children.

THE POINT
IS, WE
SHOULD TRY
TO EMBRACE
THIS NEW
FAMILY AS
BEST WE
CAN.
26 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

IT WAS THE ultrasound heard round the world: Chelsea
Clinton is pregnant!
The parents-to-be might not yet know whether they
are expecting a boy or a girl, but those in my circles are
more interested in whether they are expecting a Jew or
a Methodist.
In case you have been living under a rock for the last
four years, Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky married
in 2010 in a beautiful ceremony replete with chuppah, tallit, Seven Blessings … and a Methodist pastor.
It was an amazing interfaith wedding that got Jewish
bloggers both kvelling and kvetching about the pros and
cons of mixed marriages. For some, the union was seen
as a high-profile example of how Jews are assimilating out
of existence.
For others, the willingness of the bride to include
these very Jewish traditions into the wedding ceremony
represents an opportunity to forge a larger Jewish community that includes non-converts dedicated to raising
Jewish families.
With this baby, we will find out whether the couple’s
union really does mean “we’ve lost another one” or, as one
of my favorite headlines on this matter suggests, “Bubba
will be a Zeyde.”
To my thinking, the entire fate of the ClintonMezvinsky child’s religious future rests on the Jewish
community of New York, where the couple lives, and the
community of Philly, where Marc’s family is from.
So to them, I implore: Tone down the crazy.
Chelsea is married to a Jewish guy and lives in New
York, so odds are, she is aware that we are a neurotic
bunch. But until she becomes a mom, she really has no
idea how nutty we can be. If she catches wind too early,
we can kiss Jewish day school goodbye. So, first off, hide
the old women who will insist on spitting at the pregnant
Chelsea to help ward off the evil eye.
These are the same women will attempt to tie red
thread around the baby’s wrists, you know, to scare off
Lilith who comes in the night to steal babies’ souls. These
women will freak Chelsea out.
Tell the ladies there is a sale at Zabar’s or a new Chinese
restaurant opening in Queens. Anything. Just keep
them (more than spitting distance) away from Chelsea.

Otherwise, Marc’s synagogue can forget about a Clinton
sisterhood luncheon sponsorship.
Also, hold a baby shower. Chelsea probably grew up
going to them. She doesn’t need to know that we don’t
hold showers because we think celebrating something
before it happens somehow magically causes that thing to
then not happen. She’ll find out we are a fundamentally
gloomy people soon enough. Let her eat melted chocolate
out of a diaper first.
Lastly, let Chelsea name the baby whatever she wants.
No, Ashkenazi Jews don’t name after the living, but if
Chelsea wants to honor her mother or father by naming
the baby after one of them, what is the harm? So the
world will have one less Aiden or Sophie in it. Big deal.
The point is, we should try to embrace this new family
as best we can and help Chelsea and Marc figure out their
path. If that path should be a Jewish one, all the better.

After a 10-year career as a newspaper reporter
for the Los Angeles Times and Orange County
Register, Mayrav Saar left to try her hand at child
rearing and freelance writing.

avigating today’s dating scene can sometimes
feel like you’re treading
through a minefield. Online dating, speed dating,
blind dating … phew! Sometimes we feel
overwhelmed by the choices alone, let
alone by the amount of people we may
meet. So just what is a single person to
do? Ask for help! Turn to your friends,
your family, and even better, a professional. That’s where Patti Stanger comes
in. Patti is the owner of the dating service
Millionaire Matchmaker, which has been
documented on the television station Bravo. The show was an instant hit, and we
have now enjoyed seven seasons of Patti’s
no-holds-barred commentary and slyly
efficient dating advice. Her show gives us
a bird’s-eye view of Southern California’s
dating ups and downs and hopefully gives
us a head’s up of what to avoid along the
way. One thing is certain, though: Patti
will always keep us laughing with her
witty personality and she will tug on your

heartstrings with her hopeless romantic attitude. JLife was lucky enough to catch up
with this very busy lady, and she has imparted a few pearls of dating wisdom just
for you.
Do you get requests often for people
of the same faith? It’s kind of 50/50. I
don’t do denominational dating. If I have
it in my database, I do it, but I’m all about
the soul. So if the soul says I am Christian
and he’s Jewish, I am all Namaste. I don’t
advocate being with your own kind. I don’t
categorize myself as a Jewish matchmaker.
Do Jewish guys want to date Jewish
women? Jewish women normally want
to date Jewish men. Jewish guys normally
want to date the shiksa. Sorry. It’s true. I
didn’t create it; that what they asked for.
Jewish religious guys I have, the more
religious ones — they will only pick women
that will convert. And as we know converts
are usually better Jews than Jews by birth.
The guys don’t want the Christmas tree in
the house. You know he wants the Holy
Grail. It’s impossible: 1 in 1000.

Jlife

| JUNE 2014 29

COVER STORY

Interfaith Marriage

What are some of the oddest requests
you have had? I think it goes on the
kinky side. Are their breasts real? I don’t
do sexual persuasion dating. Once you first
get the guy or the girl, it’s up to you when
and how you’re going to have sex and what
happens in the bedroom. I don’t go that far.
The richer the man gets, the more they want
kink. Porn has ruined our generation. It’s
not about lovemaking. It’s all about wham,
bam, thank you ma’am. Most men come to
me when they want a relationship. They’ve
already played and dated and are ready to
settle down by the time they come to me.
Do you have a problem with people
sticking to the two-drink max? No, I
think what happens is that it is more for the
women than the men. Men can hold their
alcohol and women cannot. Women usually
are lighter weight and cannot usually hold
more than two drinks, especially if you’re
not eating. By the time you’re on the third
drink, you’re not clear-headed and make
poor choices because your libido is surging.
Men can hold a lot more, but I don’t want
them driving when they are intoxicated.
Are there any behaviors you think
single people should incorporate
in their daily lives to increase the
odds of finding their match? Yes,
exercise. The statistics show us that happy
people find happy relationships. In order
to be happy, you have to exercise. It helps
your endorphins flow and takes you out
of depression. You know, looking for love
is depressing, especially when you have
wedding season upon us. Everyone’s a
bridesmaid and never a bride. So you’re
always feeling like it’s a race, especially in
your 20s. More than even in your 40s, you
feel like if you don’t find love in college,
you’re nothing. You start to hit 29 and you
are in that 30 spot and you feel like you’re
an old maid. When I went to Israel when
I was 26, they told me I was an old maid.
So I got really depressed in Israel and when
I got home the pressure started. East Coast
mothers pressure you so much. I always felt
like this little pest on my shoulder pressuring
me, constantly, so I couldn’t relax. So with
exercise and meditation, a hot bath, things
that relax you ... you feel less heat. When
you have less pressure you attract more men
30 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

because you’re relaxed. I spin every day. If
I did spin in my 20s I would have figured
it out. Every time you rush, you make a
mistake. It distracts you from the goal, the
place you want to end up.
You mentioned your mom. Did she
ever give you any dating advice and
if so, what? Yes, she said nothing good
ever happens after 11 oclock at night, so go
home. If a guy wants to get hold of you, he
will. You don’t have to be the last, cleaning
up the party. He will find a way to get hold
of you. He’ll find you. Always make them
want you more.

OC lady. Well, they ended up running into
one another and the girls figured out very
quickly what was going on. They met in the
bathroom to discuss the situation and both
broke up with him that same night. I’ll never forget that. Too many hands in the candy
store and you’re going to get busted. It’s a
good story. He learned a lesson. He kept
crying and trying to get both of them back
and they just wouldn’t. I fixed the girls up
with other guys.

What’s the strangest place you’ve
seen a guy take a girl on a first date?
It’s a very famous A-lister. I cannot tell
you his name. He got majorly busted because he
would take them to a
swinger’s club. Not a
“The statistics
swing dancing club,
show us that happy
on a first date. I
was
the 911 phone
people find happy
call. By the time the
relationships. In order
third girl called, I
realized he’s just
to be happy, you have
kinky. I dunno. I
to exercise. It helps
also had someone
who took someone
your endorphins flow
to an army base.
and takes you out of
The army base had
a
party and he took
depression.”
her there for a first
date. Not very millionaire, but oh well.

Do you remember
your first date?
OMG, I was fixed
up. It was junior
high
and
my
parents’ best friends
had a son who went
to a different school
than I did. And
it was one of
those dances and
I remember I was
wearing a prairie
dress. Those were
really in style at the
time. And I didn’t
want to go because
I didn’t like him. My
mother forced me and
said “This is practice for the future so
when the right guy comes along you’ll know
how to do it.” I actually had a good night;
it was fun.

What’s the funniest dating story you
can think of, whether yours or a clients? I don’t think this is a funny story,
but it is an interesting story. There was this
guy who was from OC, Laguna Beach.
And he was very much a player. And he
had played every one of the girls in Newport, Corona Del Mar, everything. He gets
a Beverly Hills woman from my company
and she’s his dream girl. She’s gorgeous. Everything you can imagine. He just forgot to
break up with his OC lady. One day, out of
the blue he goes to his hot spot in Beverly
Hills, where he told his BH girl he couldn’t
go out that night, so he could take out his

What do you think is lacking in Jewish dating services? I
think Jewish dating services are okay. JDate
has been around since the beginning of time.
There are a lot of Jewish matchmakers. Reform doesn’t need it as much as other sects
of Judaism. Thank G-d for Jewish matchmakers. I couldn’t do it. The rules and regulations are so extreme; I couldn’t find anyone
to fit that round hole in a square peg.
Is there a dynamic difference between
men and women? Women are doing
so much these days. We are making more
money. Taking their [men’s] jobs. Most of
the Jewish boys over 40 were still living at
home with their mother. I told momma
that he [her son] couldn’t get out of the
house for anyone right now. It’s not just
Continued on page 32

Jewish; it’s every religion. Across the water,
everybody gets a trophy; nobody has to
compete anymore. It’s a backlash because of
the hippies. They felt like they didn’t want
their kids to have pressure. But, without
that pressure and competitiveness and edge,
they didn’t have a reason to push. They
[now] have a sense of entitlement. I think
behaviors start with the mother. You have to
give your children a sense of competitiveness
and not being a spoiled sport. They need
sportsmanship. Once you get that, they
enjoy the process. Remember, men are
built to compete. Women are not; we can
multitask, but competitiveness on top of
that is too much to bear.
Do you give men advice on what to
wear as well as women? Yes, as well
as on their homes, car, and lifestyle. We live
in Southern California where everyone is
beautiful. You really have to compete to pop
off the page so the male or female will be
32 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

attracted to you. We do consultations and I
do a half-hour for $1,500 and $3,000 for an
hour. Also how to meet guys on your own
and questions for dating. [We do] Skype and
phone calls: we even have an option to spend
the day with me for $10,000. My time is
limited so you spend the day with me and
you get a lot. A lot of my marriages come
from the consult. I had three last week. One
of them took me two years to get married.
She bought a package for $40,000 and I
spent two years working with her and she’s
pregnant already. Finally after six months she
started to realize my advice would help and
she softened and she became a little flower.
The guys then started paying attention to her.
In California, it’s acceptable to be pregnant
before marriage. It is Hollywood 101. We do
everything backwards here. That’s a norm in
Hollywood. It’s socially acceptable. People
don’t think twice, but you may not want to
be large on your wedding day.

Is marriage a must? Some people
choose not to be married. In the Orthodox
community, it is clearly about marriage. I
do this Oprah style. I live in sin with my
boyfriend. I am more about the relationship than the contract. Today, in California,
the contract can really hurt women. If you
make more money than the man you can go
broke, so you have to think twice before you
step off the curb. I don’t see the men making the money they did in the tech boom.
There are fewer millionaires than there were
10 years ago so you have to choose your guy
wisely. Does he have money, ambition, and
credit? That’s a big deal.
Do you get invited to a lot of
weddings? Yes, every single one I have
fixed up I have been invited to. I can’t make
all of them, but I go to as many as I can. I
have made six weddings of my own at the
start of my business. I usually get the “please
don’t tell anyone we met through you,” but
now I am famous and I show up and they
toast me when they’re drunk.
Have you had a kid named after
you? No, but Ms. Patti the boat was
named after me.
How we can guide people to your service? Register at: millionairesclub123.com
and ladies can register for free. Millionaires
and Millionairesses can also contact me there
to join my service.
Miss Stanger also has a beautiful jewelry
line appropriately named “Je T’aime” which
can be found at www.shopjetaime.com. A

CONSIDER THE CASE of Chelsea Clinton, daughter of former
President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who
married Jewish investment banker Marc Mezvinsky in 2010. They
signed a ketubah, and he wore a kippah and tallit, but the wedding
was co-officiated by a Methodist minister and was held before sunset
on Saturday.
Nearly six in 10 American Jews have married a non-Jew since
2005, up from 46 percent in 1990 and 17 percent before 1970. Of
non-Orthodox Jews who have gotten married since 2000, 28 percent
have a Jewish spouse, and 72 percent are intermarried. Intermarriage
is more common among Jews who are the children of intermarriage.
According to the Pew Research Center Survey of 2013, 17 percent of
married Jews with one Jewish parent are married to a Jewish spouse,
while 63 percent of married Jews with two Jewish parents have a
Jewish spouse.
“Refusing to perform weddings between Jews and non-Jews does
not stop [people] from marrying the person they have fallen in love
with, but only pushes them out of the Jewish community, when, in
many cases, they are in fact very interested in remaining in, or coming closer to, the Jewish community,” Rabbi Natan Margalit, a nondenominational rabbi who lives in Israel and runs the organization
Organic Torah, said in a recent article (JNS.org, “Is Intermarriage the
New Normal for American Jews?” January 9, 2014).
“Where discriminatory policies once limited the numbers of Jews on
elite university campuses, in certain industries or neighborhoods, and
at restrictive social and recreational clubs, today’s Jews gain easy entry
into every sector of American society,” said Jack Wertheimer, professor
of American Jewish history in another recent article (“Intermarriage:
Can Anything Be Done?” Mosaic, September 2013. “Not surprisingly,

Nearly six in 10 American Jews have married a non-Jew since 2005, up from 46
percent in 1990 and 17 percent before 1970.

some meet and fall in love with their non-Jewish neighbors, colleagues
and social intimates.”
Then what? A lot of people are asking that question.
Judith Gottesman, who started matchmaking informally more than
20 years ago and is now celebrating the five-year anniversary of her
business, Soul Mates Unlimited® Personalized Jewish Matchmaking,
headquartered in San Diego, said, “It’s hard to find love, no matter
what your religion is, and it’s even harder for a small minority. There are
successful intermarriages, but religion can be a complicating factor. It’s
nice to share values and religious practices, and Jewish identity matters.”
Continued on page 36

Gottesman added, “There are hard-core Republicans who won’t the quality of the Jewish community.”
date Democrats and hard-core liberals who won’t date conservatives,
Rabbi Adam Greenwald, director of the Miller Introduction to
but some people don’t even think of religion as an issue.”
Judaism Program at the American Jewish University, is conducting
Equally surprised is Rabbi Drew Kaplan, who has served as the the “Two Faiths, One Family” initiative funded by the Roslyn and
rabbi and director for Southern California Jewish Student Services Arthur Gilbert Foundation in Los Angeles and Orange Counties. “We
for three years, working with university students and young adults to are reaching out not to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ anybody, but to show that
enrich their Jewish identities. Kaplan, who recently held a program the Jewish community is a comfortable, safe place that cares about
called “Bourbons and Boundaries” to explore the foundation of people,” he said.
Jewish approaches to intermarriage in Biblical
The intergenerational program has involved
and rabbinic Judaism, said, “It blows my
couples from Congregation B’nai Israel. Two
mind that people don’t discuss how they will
more will include couples from Temple Bat
raise their kids. Marriage is not a corporation
Yahm and Temple Beth El.
merger. It involves raising a family, and couples
The pilot program takes place in living room
Nearly six in 10
need to be pragmatic about how they want to
salons. It involves “gathering in the homes of
do that. Why date if you don’t discuss what’s
interfaith couples and inviting others to share
American Jews have
coming afterwards?”
stories about the challenges, build connections
married a non-Jew
Kaplan noticed that there was an “explosion
and give the Jewish community a chance to
since 2005.
of initiatives targeting the 20s and 30s demolisten,” he said, adding, “The Jewish comgraphic,” which he believes is a result of the
munity spends time talking about or at inter2001 National Jewish Population Survey that
faith couples but less time listening to them.
showed a “startlingly high” rate of intermarriage. The idea was to bring Intermarriage is not going to go away, so we owe it to our families to
people together to share their Jewish identity without focusing on make sure that communities are welcoming places.”
marriage and/or to provide programming for those who had children.
Greenwald was surprised to learn “how hungry people are to
While Kaplan, who is Orthodox, believes that “shared heritage, be seen and heard even in welcoming settings.” People who have
shared values and how the children are raised” are very important, he felt marginalized have provided “emotional stories and wonderful
said that most of the organizations that address the younger crowd are insights,” he said. “For some people, this is about interfaith and for
“not pushy,” adding that the events attract a “self-selecting crowd.” He some, it’s about interfaithless.”
also noted that many of the people who come to the events are the chilHe concluded, “Jewish demography for the last 100 years has been
dren of mixed marriages who, nonetheless, consider themselves Jewish. more like Nostradamus than science. I don’t know what’s coming,
“This is not a numbers game,” he concluded. “These programs are but it will be fascinating to observe. The big question is what is the
about quality and vibrancy, not quantity. My role is to help enhance next step.”

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36 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

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a distinguished academic
background. A UCLA graduate, Ms.
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nuances. They can be a source of strength and love, wisdom
and guidance, or they can be a downright pain in the neck
at times. One thing is certain, however: “Family is Family,“
and no matter what happens in life, they will almost always

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is a very big deal. It is thus not without significance that
the Hebrew word for Jewish marriage (Kiddushin) means
“holiness or sanctification.“ So it behooves us to try and
make our family life the absolute best it can be. In this issue
of Kiddish we have some great tips and ideas to help you

ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE AND
KIDDISH IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY
ORANGE COUNTY JEWISH LIFE, LLC
1 FEDERATION WAY, IRVINE, CA 92603

increase your quality time with your families, whether that be
enjoying relaxing time at home or hitting the fantastic sites
of Southern California. It is the perfect time as well because
summer is here and Orange County is an excellent place to
let your family life thrive. So dig in, cuddle up and give your
wonderful family a big “ Kiddish“ hug from us and you.

— Tracey Armstrong Gorsky, Editor in Chief

Editor Tracey Armstrong Gorsky is the
managing editor for JLife and former editor
and writer for Making Waves, Pet Product
News, Veterinary Practice News and Surfing
Magazine. She brings over ten years of
writing and editing experience to Kiddish
magazine and holds a Masters in Business
Administration.

4
Add dressing to kale the night before
you plan to eat it and store in the
refrigerator.

Heidi Kahn is
a contributing
writer to Kiddish
magazine and the
Pre-School Director
at University
Synagogue. She is
an award-winning
teacher who has
over 30 years of
experience in the
field of Jewish
Early Childhood
Education.

5

Toasted almonds add nutrition and
flavor to this simple dish.

6
Try it with chow mein noodles.

Also delicious with cranberries. Toss
and enjoy!

8

FAMILY MATTERS

kiddish

Family OffRoad Learning
Let the highway be your classroom.
BY SUSAN PENN, M.ED.

I

t is my fervent belief that there’s

these are life lessons that impact our

more to an education than school!

intellectual growth far beyond what a

The longer I work in education, the

textbook can teach us.

more I learn from students who have

As you travel with
your families, take
advantage of the
opportunities for
learning as they arise.

As an adult, I was stunned by the

benefitted from experiences far beyond

true beauty of Van Gogh’s “ Starry Night“

the classroom. The road trips to different

at MOMA in New York City. I had seen

states, the excitement of uncovering

numerous renderings and photographs of

some part of history that they learned

it, studied it at school and then later as an

about in school, figuring out how to pay

adult, and thought that I should go and

in a different currency or to navigate the

see it on a recent trip to New York City

underground in a city across the world—

with my niece. I was totally unprepared

kiddish

9

FAMILY MATTERS

Road trips can
provide life
lessons that
impact our
intellectual
growth far beyond
what a textbook
can teach us.

for my reaction to finally seeing it. I was

Prayer, asks that we reach our destination

mesmerized and sat on the floor in front

in life, joy and peace. What is a

of the painting for a long time, staring

destination without learning along the

and remembering everything I had

way? Is anything gained from an empty

learned, making the connections to my

journey? As you travel with your families,

past, thinking about Van Gogh as he was

take advantage of the opportunities for

painting and all the while hearing Don

learning as they arise. Impart knowledge,

McClean singing in my mind.

share your stories and those of your

Learning experiences, be they

ancestors, explore, ask questions and

carefully constructed with education in

grow together. In the words of Debbie

mind, or random—taking advantage of

Friedman, “ May you be blessed as you go

the moment—represent some of the most

on your way.“ ✿

impactful learning we receive. A student
remembers the Revolution for the rest of
his life if he takes part in a reenactment,
but will soon forget the sequence of
events he read about in his textbook.
Tefillat Haderech, the Traveler’s

Sue Penn is a mother of three, Education
Director at University Synagogue, president
of Jewish Reconstructionist Educators of
North America and a member of the Jewish
Educators Assembly.

A STUDENT WILL
SOON FORGET
THE SEQUENCE OF
EVENTS HE READ
ABOUT IN HIS
TEXTBOOK.

10

FAMILY FUN

kiddish

Summer
Family Fun
20 cool things to do together.
BY AUDRA MARTIN

Celebrate your
heritage by
finger-painting
an Israeli flag.

F

or kids, summer is about fun
and adventure. For parents
though, as the weeks seem to go
on and on, summer is the time

to wrack our brains for ways to engage
our kids in creative and meaningful ways.
Below are 20 everyday ways to have fun
with your kids while exploring Jewish
traditions and values.

1

Bake challah together, adding kid-

friendly elements like chocolate chips,
sprinkles or cinnamon sugar.

2

Draw an Israeli Chutes & Ladders game

board: start with a map of Israel, add
chutes and ladders and explore Israel.

3 Finger-paint Israeli flags with
handprints. Use a piece of construction
paper and dip childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hands in blue
and white paint.

Tammy Keces, M.A. is the Principal and Lead
Secular Educator at Irvine Hebrew Day School.
She is also a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer.

APPRECIATING
THEM FOR WHO
THEY ARE AND
NOTICING THEIR
EFFORT CAN
MAKE A CRITICAL
DIFFERENCE.

kiddish

14

LOCAL FOCUS

kiddish

Good Day for
a Good Deed
Spend a day with the Israeli Scouts.
BY LISA GRAJEWSKI, PSY.D.

I

f you want something done … ask an

Dozens of kids
worked in shifts
with Jewish
Federation
Family Services
employees to
ensure the house
would be ready
for move-in day.

developmental disabilities.

Israeli Scout! That is exactly what Dr.

Getting the house ready was a

Lauren Gavshon, Director of Clinical

collaborative effort between JFFS and

Services at Jewish Federation and

Orange County Israeli Scouts, a.k.a., Tzofim.

Family Services (JFFS) did to get the new

The scouts cleaned the entire house—from

Mandel House ready for residents. The

top to bottom—and planted sustainable

house, a project of JFFS, is the first home

gardens in the backyard that will provide

in the Jewish Community of Orange

herbs and vegetables for residents to use.

County for adults with special needs and

Everything in the house was donated,

kiddish

15

LOCAL FOCUS

Getting the
house ready was
a collaborative
effort between
Jewish Federation
and Family
Services and
Orange County
Israeli Scouts,
a.k.a., Tzofim.

including the Scouts’ time.
Good Deed Day, an annual project for
the Tzofim, was special this year because it
was for “ family.“ Last year Tzofim cleaned

with a resounding, “ Yes!“
Says Shani Amran, a seventh grader,
“We would LOVE to come back!“
For more information on JFFS’s

up the beach, impacting the greater

Mandel House, contact JFFS at

community; this year, it was a little closer

(949) 435-4350.

to home. Under the watchful eye of Troop

For more information on Shevet

Leader Inbar Avgar and Chair Doron

Tapuz (Orange County Israeli Scout Troop),

Armony, dozens of kids worked in shifts

contact Inbar Avgar at (949) 235-6050. ✿

with JFFS employees to ensure the house
would be ready for move-in day.
But it was not all work. “ We talked
and had fun…“ reported Romi Gilat, an
Israeli-born Scout in the seventh grade.
When asked by Dr. Gavshon if the
Tzofim would come back, she was met

Dr. Lisa Grajewski has been a contributing writer
for JLife since 2004. She is a former professional
in the Orange County Jewish community, with
over 10 years experience as a volunteer and
professional. Dr. Grajewski recently graduated
with a doctoral degree in Clinical Forensic
Psychology and is currently working toward
licensure with a private practice in Tustin.

THE SCOUTS CLEANED
THE ENTIRE HOUSE –
FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.

16

LOCAL FOCUS

kiddish

Strike a
Pose
Local teens mix fashion and fundraising.
BY SOPHIE GORDON

to be working with the Joyful Child
Foundation: not only is their work of
protecting children important, but they
are a small, local organization and our

said Katie Ellis, Executive Director of the
Opus Community Foundation.
Retailers showing off their wares in

fashion show will go a long way to make a

the fashion included LF, Laguna Beach;

difference with their work.“

Hobie, Newport Beach; Social B, Newport

In addition to their other efforts,
the teens recruited Opus Community
Foundation, the giving arm of Opus
Bank, to support the fashion show and
The Joyful Child Foundation with a

Beach; Stella, Newport Beach and No
Rest for Bridget, Costa Mesa.
For more information, visit www.

thejoyfulchildfoundation.org. And for

$10,000 matching grant challenge.“ I can’t

a head’s-up of great upcoming events,

imagine making a better investment than

check out www.JCCOC.org. ✿

IT IS INSPIRING TO SEE
OUR TEENS ARE SO
DEDICATED TO TIKKUN
OLAM, ‘REPAIRING
THE WORLD’, AND
MAKING A GENUINE
DIFFERENCE.

18

LOCAL FOCUS

kiddish

Our Little Ones
Go Big
A preschool expansion, a library and a Parenting Center for JCC.

The preschool is
based in a center
that supports the
entire family.

preschool library. Lisa Monette gushes
that the library with over 1,000 books “ is
a wonderful opportunity to continue to
open new worlds to our kids.“

Why a Parenting Center?
The Parenting Center offers a
variety of parent and children classes,
helping parents learn about babies’
early development through discussion,
music and playtime. The Center also
regularly features seminars specifically

O

for parents on the latest educational and

pportunities for our kids

the next Jewish generation,“ says Lisa

parenting trends. Plus, they offer weekly

to grow, explore, learn, and

Monette, Director of Merage JCC Early

Tot Shabbat celebrations establishing

teach is growing in the hills of

Childhood Learning Center. Offering

Jewish traditions and positive memories,

Irvine. Recently, the Merage

Jewish Community Center (JCC) opened
its doors to three new expansive, wellequipped playgrounds, five sunny stateof-the art classrooms, a preschool Library
and a Parenting Center.
“The past year, we had a waiting list
of over 70 kids. We are thrilled to give
more families the opportunity to give the
children a Jewish education and ensure

programs for infants through 5-year-old,
the Early Childhood Learning Center
teaches 270 kids, as well as provides
camps, enrichment, swimming and more.

OC’s First Dedicated
Preschool Library
The JCC offers the first preschool
in Orange County with a dedicated

as well as a full array of Jewish holiday
celebrations all year long.

And More!
With fitness, aquatic and gym
facilities as well as arts, dance, a theatre
and gallery, the preschool is based in a
center that supports the entire family.
For more information visit:

www.JCCOC.org. ✿

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19

20

JUST FOR FUN

kiddish

Jewish, you say?
Check out this bunch of A-lister and up-and-coming Jewish Hollywood celebrities.

Andrew Garfield
Raised in Surrey, England, this handsome up-and-comer and
“Amazing Spider-Man“ is indeed Jewish. Instead of underwear
and socks, maybe he gets new spidey webs and red boots for
Channakauh.

Scarlett Johansson
The bombshell’s surname name comes from her father’s Danish
side, but her mother, Melanie Sloan, is of Ashkenazi Jewish
descent. Sloan raised Johansson with a basic observance of
Shabbat and the high holidays.

Andrew Garfield

Drake
Canadian recording artist Aubrey Drake Graham has a Jewish
mother. She raised him in a heavily Jewish neighborhood in
Toronto, and he attended Jewish day school. He also had a bar
mitzvah, a Jewish rite of passage and celebration of entry into
adulthood.

Elizabeth Banks
The funny girl was not raised Jewish. But she went through some
steps to convert for her husband, Max Handelman, whom she
Scarlett Johansson

Drake

met on the first day of college at the University of Pennsylvania
(she graduated magna cum laude.)

Isla Fisher
The Aussie redhead is another funny girl who converted for her
husband, Sacha Baron Cohen, famous for his role as “Borat.“

Lenny Kravitz
The musician’s father came from a Russian Jewish family, with
roots in modern day Ukraine. When Kravitz was 5 years old, his
mother told him, “You are just as much white as you are black,
just as much Russian Jew as you are African-American.“
Elizabeth Banks

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watermelon tank dress and my purple
down parka.
I flirt with the Great Danes in the
neighborhood, enjoy munching on grainfree treats and love dining out at OC's
finest dog-friendly joints. I love my daily
ride in my very own car seat and enjoy
stopping to smell the roses while walking

Miss Sugar

my Mom four times a day. I also love
giving my family lots of licks!

Scout

Honorable Mention

Be July’s winner! Our
pets are definitely part of our
families, and here at Kiddish
magazine we want to know what
your four-legged friends are up
to. Please send a picture of your
pooch to pics@mydogbowl.com
and tell us what they love to do
in our wonderful Orange County
neighborhood (a picture at the
location is even better). Pictures
of kitties are welcome too! We'll
pick a winner each month, put
their picture in the magazine and
provide a wonderful treat for
them courtesy of My Dog Bowl.

kiddish

23

GAMES

Word Search
Some of the best times we can spend with our families is over a home-cooked
meal (or excellent take-out). Parents have heard it for years: Family dinners
help kids avoid risky behaviors and may even help them in school. But the
more frequent these dinners, the better adolescents fare emotionally, says
new research published this week in the Journal of Adolescent Health. So Bon
Appetit and familiarize yourself with these Jewish staples.

five titles. But in recent years, its aura has
begun to fade.
Last year, it lost the Israeli title for
the third time in six years — after having
lost it only once in the previous 39 — and
entered the European championship as a
huge underdog.
The team that won back-to-back
European titles in 2004-05 featured
future NBA players like Anthony Parker,

M

Sarunas Jasikevicius and Maceo Baston.

accabi Tel Aviv’s European

TV and radio stations airing special

Later, homegrown talents Omri Casspi

basketball victory set off

broadcasts.

and Gal Mekel also migrated to the NBA.

a national outpouring of

According to initial ratings figures,

In contrast, this year’s team was

about a third of the country watched

devoid of big stars. It needed a dramatic

that went far beyond the boundaries of

Sunday’s game live on TV, including

win on the road to even make it to the

sports.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and

Final Four and its victories over heavily

President Shimon Peres. Both men called

favoured CSKA Moscow in the semifinals

Sunday with an overtime victory over

head coach David Blatt after the game to

and Real Madrid in the final were sparked

Real Madrid in the Euroleague basketball

offer congratulations.

by the outstanding play of its bench.

joy in Israel on Monday

Maccabi’s dream season culminated

final in Milan.
Thousands of fans clad in Maccabi
yellow filled Tel Aviv’s Rabin Square
overnight Monday, with many jumping

“You were an example of

“No one believed in us,” Maccabi

determination. The whole team fought

captain Guy Pnini said. “It is hard to

like lions and won,” Peres told Blatt.

fathom and this will take a long time to

The team has dominated Israeli

into its landmark fountain. Celebrations

basketball for decades and has grown

erupted in other cities as well, with

into a European powerhouse, winning

sink in.” ✿

(Source: Associated Press)

F E AT U R E S

Art Imitates Life –
or Vice Versa

W

hat is so enticing about getting involved with people of
other faiths, and how do the movies see it? An Orange
County Community Scholar Program called “JewishNon Jewish Romances: From Abie to Zohan” addressed
the whys and wherefores of interfaith relationships as portrayed in
movie history.
“From the silent era to the talkies, Jewish-Gentile movie romances
have provided plotlines to promote vastly different agendas: the Melting
Pot ideal (The Jazz Singer), traditional resistance to intermarriage (Tevye
the Milkman), American support of Israel (Exodus), contrasts between
Jewish and Christian culture and politics (The Way We Were), multiculturalism (Keeping the Faith) and the individual over the state (You Don’t
Mess with the Zohan), according to the program. Professor Emeritus
Lawrence Baron, who held the Nasatir Chair of Modern Jewish History
at San Diego State University from 1988 until 2012 and directed its
Jewish Studies Program until 2006, provided his views on the subject.
“The reasons, at least in movies, change,” he said. “Even since Jews
were emancipated, there has always been a conflict between individual
choice (romantic love) and communal solidarity.”
“When Jews were still ghettoized, contact with Gentiles was limited
to economic and not social interactions, and Jews were subject to rabbinical courts, not state courts,” Dr. Baron explained.
In modern times, there is the lure of the forbidden: Fedya in
Aleichem’s The Tevye Stories takes no risk in marrying Chava because

A scene from The Jazz Singer with Neil Diamond, 1980.

she converts, according to Dr. Baron. Tevye grudgingly accepts it in
Fiddler on the Roof (1971), but not in the Yiddish film that came out in
1939. There, Chava realizes that Russians and Jews are incompatible;
she divorces Fedya and returns to her father.
“In some of the earlier movies on intermarriage, Irish women marry
Jewish men,” he added. “In that way the children of first generation
immigrants Americanize.”
Now that Jews have achieved much acceptance and success in
American society, “the stigma of intermarriage is far less for both
Gentiles and Jews,” Dr. Baron said. In some movies, the attraction may
be that marrying a Jew constitutes upward mobility (The Way We Were),
but the multicultural model often encourages the spouses to retain their
faith or even convert to Judaism (Keeping the Faith). A

I strive to create happy,
lasting marriages
which also keep Jewish
tradition alive.

harmony in the home, I encourage people
to marry within their faith. I strive to create
happy, lasting marriages which also keep
Jewish tradition alive.

SEARCHING FOR
SOULMATES
An interview with Judith Gottesman.
BY RACHEL SCHIFF

SOMETIMES THROWING YOUR hat
into the dating ring isn’t enough. Many
people choose to throw their proverbial
hat into a more “defined” ring and find
it important to date strictly within their
religious faith. If this is the case and you
fall into this category, then Soul Mates
Unlimited may be a good option for you.
JLife caught up with Soul Mates Unlimited
owner Judith Gottesman to get the skinny
on dating exclusively “Jewish.”
What is your take on intermarriage
vs. marrying Jewish? In my business
I deal exclusively with Jewish clientele,
so I only do Jewish matches. Most of my
clients aren’t religious and many are will38 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

ing to marry (or already have married and
divorced) people who aren’t Jewish. But,
they still prefer a Jewish mate. Some
people, due to the difficulties in raising children with their non-Jewish former
spouse, definitely want a Jewish mate second time around.
Of course some intermarriages can work,
but with the divorce rate already high, why
make things harder from the start? Seek
similarities and things in common rather than major differences in a soulmate
match. The best matches share core values,
beliefs and lifestyle, and religion is part
of that for most people. It can be very difficult for Jews to find one another, and for
the sake of Jewish continuity and religious

What is your best advice for singles?
Most importantly, stay hopeful. Believe
there is someone out there for you. People
who don’t give up, believe they’ll find love
and stay open increase their chances for a
relationship. Being open (to height, age,
having kids, being divorced, long distance,
etc.) to the person in a different package than you pictured, is really the most
important thing for success in finding love.
Having hope is the primary ingredient to
get people to take action and be proactive
about finding [love].
What can you do to look your best?
Get your hair trimmed and/or styled so
it looks healthy and fresh. Women: put
on some make-up and make sure to cover
those grey roots, if you have any. Whiten
your teeth if they’re yellowing (there are
inexpensive, natural, easy methods to do at
home). Get a new, stylish outfit that makes
you feel comfortable and attractive. Right
before your date, brush your teeth and have
a breath mint, and check your face and hair
in the mirror. Most important while on the
date: smile and have a good attitude! People
who are tired of dating, cynical, bitter
about an ex or the opposite sex, etc. will give
off that energy and put off their date, so be
positive, be friendly and keep the conversation light.
Judith has a “Dating Tips and Horror
Stories” in a video blog with some funny and
weird dates worth checking out at: www.soulmatesunlimited.com/datingtips.html. A

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The State of Israel will
grant marriage rights to
gay, intermarried, and
most other couples,
which helps to explain
the huge number who
marry abroad.

CERTIFIED
BLISS
The hurdles of marrying in Israel.
BY MERAV CERAN

DANIELLE ISAAC, AN oleh hadash from
Britain, is getting married on June 5. She and
her husband-to-be Ofer met in South America.
She moved to Israel after graduating Oxford to
be closer to him. He proposed on a Tel Aviv
beach on their two-year anniversary. A year ago,
though, Danielle and Ofer’s marriage would have
never happened.
Israel is both a Jewish and democratic state.
Marriage and other issues of personal status such
as divorce are strictly controlled by the ultraOrthodox Rabbinate. To marry another Jewish
person, you must prove your own Judaism. The
definition of who qualifies is restricted to those
born to a Jewish mother. If a person, or that
person’s mother, converts, the conversion only
40 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

counts if it is done in a proven Orthodox way.
Reform and Conservative conversions are not
recognized. The country is peppered by horror stories of native Israelis and olim who must
submit to lengthy conversion processes if they
cannot prove their status or must marry abroad
and have the union recognized by the state. Due
to these heavy restrictions, some 20,000 couples
marry overseas annually. That’s a shocking number, compared to the 48,000 who married in
Israel under Orthodox rabbinical courts in 2012.
The government has finally begun to respond
to the flight of Israel’s love birds. In October of
last year, the Knesset, Israel’s parliament, passed
the Tzohar Law, which now allows Israeli Jews
to register their marriages with any rabbinate,

instead of the one which serves their city. This
means that couples can shop around for a rabbi
who may be less stringent in the myriad hurdles
the couple must jump to prove their Jewishness,
and may even help in gathering the necessary
documents for the ceremony.
Danielle is an example of why this law is so
important. Her mother had converted in an
Orthodox way, but when she approached the
rabbinate in Jerusalem to receive the necessary
documents to file for marriage to her Israeli-born
boyfriend, the officials rejected her application,
claiming they didn’t have enough information
to convince them that the rabbi in London was
doing conversions “properly.” Before the Tzohar
law, that would have been the end of her options
to marry in-country. A visit to Haifa’s rabbinate, where her husband-to-be works and they
plan to move after the wedding, was all it took.
Haifa’s rabbinate contacted the London rabbi
and approved the papers.
Though Danielle’s story ends happily, many
others do not. Sarah Greenburg is among those
20,000 couples who chose to go abroad for their
nuptials. She and her husband Tzachi decided
to have a destination wedding. On a sunny
Saturday on a beach in Cyprus in 2010, the two,
who’d known each other since their army service,
exchanged vows, surrounded by 80 of their closest friends.
The Greenburgs had no trouble having their
marriage recognized once they returned to Israel.
The State of Israel will grant marriage rights
to gay, intermarried, and most other couples,
which helps to explain the huge number who
marry abroad. These couples receive all the
rights and privileges of other couples; they just
lose the opportunity to marry in the place they
call home.
Israel is meant to be a home for the world’s
Jews, and it is argued that, in order to protect
the Jewish people, Israel should be strict about
whom it allows to marry. But keeping native
Israelis, let alone immigrants, from marrying isn’t
what Herzl meant when he referred to a “new
blossoming of the Jewish spirit.” Israelis, nativeborn and olim, should be able to love whomever
they wish in the land they love. A
Merav Ceren is a contributing writer to
JLife Magazine.

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Jlife

| JUNE 2014 41

F E AT U R E S

FLOWING AND
FLATTERING
Israeli designers do it with surprises.
BY ILENE SCHNEIDER

“Israeli designers are
very creative, because
they are influenced by
avant garde designers
in Europe.”
42 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

WHEN DVORA BRAUNSTEIN lived in
Israel, her American sister-in-law always asked
her to bring clothing designed by Israelis as
gifts on her visits. Braunstein knew the designers personally. If her sister-in-law was going
on line to find the fashions she wanted, other
women probably were doing the same thing.
When Braunstein moved to the U.S. seven
years ago, she decided that representing Israeli
designers in this country could be a good business venture.
Braunstein has never looked back. “There
were some designers represented here before
I came,” she said. “When I opened a store
in San Luis Obispo, a designer already represented here noticed that I was selling more
than some stores in New York. I started representing her, and more designers came aboard.”
Today Braunstein, who calls her company
MaBelle 2 – World Fashion, has a showroom
in Los Angeles and does shows in New York,
San Francisco and Dallas. Merchandise from
the designers she represents is sold in such
stores as Pomegranate in La Jolla and Koi in
South Pasadena.
What distinguishes Israeli designers from
others? Braunstein thinks the clothes are
“more flowing, so that they are flattering
to every woman’s body type.” She added
that each item has an unexpected element.
Clothing often combines different fabrics.
Finally, she said, “Israeli designers are very
creative, because they are influenced by avant
garde designers in Europe.”
Sometimes Braunstein does special events,

such as the fashion show she created for
the Atid Group of Hadassah on April 24 at
Temple Bat Yahm. Called the Israeli Fashion
Fest, the event offered a look at some of the
designers Braunstein represents.
Avivit Yizhar is a successful fashion designer
worldwide. Her collection is inspired by her
work as a sculptor. After working for Kedem
Sasson, she started her own line. Braunstein
described the collection as “casual with a
twist.” It is higher priced, designer quality and
flattering to all sizes, according to Braunstein.
Fashionistas like this designer, because they are
seeking individual style and fun, she added.
Frau Blau brings her graphic design background to her fashion designing in what
the designer describes as a perfect mix of
graphic arts and tailoring traditions. Using
stretchy fabrics that flatter the body, she creates intriguing prints that change every season,
Braunstein said.
Daniella Lehavi handbags and shoes complement the fashions with compelling looks
in various styles. The design process expresses
the relationship between the raw materials and
the final product with sensitivity to materials,
textures, colors and comfort. “People love the
creativity,” Braunstein said.
What does Braunstein enjoy the most about
her work? “I feel that I support the Israeli
economy while living here,” she said. “By
presenting Israeli fashion, I show a different
side of Israel, one that fascinates Jews and
non-Jews alike.”

F E AT U R E S

PHOTOS COURTESY OF MABELLE 2-WORLD FASHION

Daniella Lehavi
handbags complement
the fashions with
compelling looks that
express the relationship
between the raw
materials and the final
product.

A Good Cause Too
Proceeds from the Israeli Fashion Fest
proceeds benefit Hadassah’s Heart Health
ProgramTM at Hadassah Heart Institute,
which pioneers new techniques for saving
heart attack victims and investigating risk factors for heart disease, the number-one cause
of death among women both in the U.S.
and worldwide. Knowledge about screening,
diagnosis and treatment for heart disease in
women is fifty years behind what is known
about heart disease in men. Dr. Chaim Lotan
is an internationally recognized cardiologist
who has pioneered heart health techniques
used around the globe and is currently the
Director of the Heart Health Institute at
Hadassah Medical Organization in Israel.
Hadassah, one of the largest women’s
organizations in America with over 330,000
members, has developed the groundbreaking

heart health education program to empower
women to become advocates in their own
heart health. “Every Beat Counts” is the
only comprehensive heart health program
that works in-person to educate women on
heart health.
The Hadassah Medical Organization’s
Heart Institute is developing innovative new
techniques for saving heart attack victims
and replacing valves, researching risk factors for heart disease and playing a central
role in promoting heart health. Using the
groundbreaking research and methods from
Hadassah’s Heart Institute, the “Every Beat
Counts” program brings this information to
women across the United States in an effort to
reduce risks associated with heart disease. The
institute was the first medical center to use a
minimally invasive technique (trans-catheter
implantation of aortic valves) to replace diseased heart valves in 2009. A
Jlife

| JUNE 2014 43

F E AT U R E S

SOCIETYROUNDUP

FACES OF THE COMMUNITY | JUNE 2014

years, Grant Committee Chair Peggy
Feder introduced three different grant
recipient organizations representing
our past, present and future. Dalia
Taft from the OC Jewish Historical
Society described how grants from
the Foundation have provided funding
to obtain videotaped interviews of
many senior Jewish leaders in the
community – capturing an oral
history that would otherwise be lost.
Arie Katz, speaking on behalf of the
Community Scholar Program and
representing the present, noted the
Foundation’s support has been integral
to CSP’s ability to bring the best Jewish
speakers in world directly to Orange
County and described the tremendous
impact of the Create a Jewish Legacy
program. Finally, as a representative
of our collective future, Michael
Penso, TALIT president of the Bureau
of Jewish Education, described how
participating in Foundation-supported
Jewish social programming and a TIES
trip to Israel supported has changed
the course of his young life.

Wendy Arenson, Irv Burg,
Ellie Burg and Gideon Bernstein

Event Honors
Longtime
Leadership
On May 4, one hundred community
members gathered to celebrate the
past, present and future of the Jewish
Community Foundation and to honor
its founders. Attending were honorees
and current Foundation leaders, as well
as leaders from throughout Jewish
Orange County. Representatives from
every Create a Jewish Legacy Partner
organization attended in addition to
clergy members from several local
synagogues.
Guests were greeted with champagne
and mimosas while a trio of jazz
musicians provided live music. Guests
were invited to enjoy a running

44 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

photographic show containing images
of our honorees and Foundation
leadership over the last 30 years while
they mingled and got together socially
as a Foundation leadership group for
the first time in twelve years.
Gideon Bernstein, Foundation
President, welcomed guests, and
Wendy Arenson provided a D’var
Torah on leadership. Bernstein led the
Hamotzi along with Arnold Feuerstein,
Roberta Feuerstein, Allan and Sandy
Fainbarg, Steven Fainbarg, Irv and
Nancy Chase, John and Kittie Rau and
Irv and Eleanor Burg.
After brunch, the Grants Committee
provided an event highlight. After
noting the Foundation’s grants
program has donated to 219 different
nonprofit organizations over the

At the end of the event, each guest
was presented with a hand-crafted
tzedakah box custom-made by
Jewish preschool children throughout
Orange County. The Foundation’s
philosophy and direction were
succinctly summarized by these small
but meaningful gifts: our community’s
children came together across a variety
of affiliations to create unique, personal
art pieces to benefit others. What better
way to memorialize and honor our
past, present and future?
The Foundation will hold its Second
Annual Community Endowment Book
of Life Signing Event on November
16. To participate and join more than
80 other families that have signed the
community-wide, united pledge to
endow the Jewish community, contact:
Wendy Arenson at info@jcfoc.org.

featured Wiesel reading one of his
short stories. Chapman’s Readers
Theatre performed some of Professor
Wiesel’s folkloric stories, including “King
Solomon and His Magic Ring” and “The
Golem,” onstage in the Fish Interfaith
Center. Professor Wiesel joined them
at the end to share insights on the
storytelling process with the audience.
The rest of the week included
meetings with Chapman University
classes and students, an event for
Orange High School students and talks
with faculty groups.

to Chapman University April 6 to 13 as
part of his Distinguished Presidential
Fellowship at the university. Wiesel met
with student groups, faculty members
and classes during his Chapman visit.
The theme of his visit this year was the
art of story-writing and story-telling.
One public event, “An Evening of
Stories and Storytelling” on April 10,

Elie Wiesel is the author of the
international bestseller “Night,” a
work based on his experiences in the
Auschwitz, Buna and Buchenwald
concentration camps, and more
than 50 other books. He received
the Nobel Peace Prize in 1986 for his
work as a “messenger to mankind”
of “peace, atonement and human
dignity.” He accepted the position of
Distinguished Presidential Fellow at
Chapman University in 2010, a fiveyear appointment during which he
visits Chapman each year to meet
with students and classes in a variety
of subjects, from Holocaust history
to languages, religion and literature.
Wiesel serves on the faculty of Boston
University and retains that position
while carrying out his Distinguished
Presidential Fellowship at Chapman
University.

Super Solar
Hebrew Academy held a solar celebration and ribbon cutting to commemorate
45 years and 955 solar panels. The event, held on May 22, was part of the Jewish
day school’s annual open house with food available for purchase from the
Kosher Palate food trucks. Hebrew Academy honored the Alevy family and Yitzy
Geisinsky for their generous support of the solar panels.

Super Sushi
Atid Hadassah Group will hold “Shellfish-Less Sushi and Sake” on Tuesday,
June 17, at 6:30 P.M. at the UCI Recreation Center, 680 California Avenue, in
Irvine. Participants will make and eat their own sushi with Chef Jessica VanRoo.
Associate members, husbands and significant others are welcome. The cost for
members and associate members is $50; non-members, $55; and new annual
members with program, $75. Contact Marcia Labowitz at labow@sbcglobal.net.
Jlife

| JUNE 2014 45

A&E

J Doc
ON THE STREET

What do you think
about interfaith
marriage?
Orange County is a diverse, multicultural,
multiethnic, multi-religious community
encompassing all walks of life. In honor of this
month’s issue discussing interfaith marriage, J Doc
sought the input from across the spectrum and
received thoughtful, but honest answers.

BY DR. LISA GRAJEWSKI

Deborah, a community
member who grew up in
a traditional Orthodox
home, says: “It is hard for
me to answer this question...
— I believe it makes a relationship more compatible when
both individuals in the couple
are the same faith. That is also
how we were raised, learning
that as a Jew, we would marry
another Jew. I would not ever
put anyone down for marrying
‘out of the faith,’ but it is not
something I would do…”
Sari, community member and University
Synagogue President,
says: “If Jewish interfaith
families are engaging in Jewish
life and teaching their children
about Jewish history and values, then they are likely creating homes that honor their
religious heritage. Non-Jewish
partners can find spiritual fulfillment within Jewish culture.
Children who are raised to be
Jews can still learn about and
respect the traditions and back-

46 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

grounds of their non-Jewish
parent and relatives and share
in their experiences. Honoring
and respecting both partners’
traditions and integrating them
into a family’s life while still
choosing one religion for a
child’s identity is very important to most Jews. Interfaith
marriage is a contribution to a
multicultural society that can
enrich lives.”
Rabbi Dov Fischer,
Young Israel of Orange
County, says: In our
Orthodox Jewish community,
the purposeful life is driven by
our commitment to the values
we are taught in the Torah.
Jewish religious endogamy is
very central to our values. Yet,
as I learned when I came to
Orange County nearly a decade
ago, a profoundly sizeable
percentage of the Orthodoxobservant community here is
rooted in once-intermarried
households where a nonJewish spouse sought Orthodox
conversion, and her husband

A&E

proceeded to embrace the
Orthodox life alongside her. I
had seen and celebrated that
social and theological phenomenon before, but I never before
had seen the phenomenon in
such numbers that, literally,
there would not be a meaningful institutional Orthodoxobservant presence in Orange
County (in general) and in
Irvine (in specific) if it were
not for “once-intermarrieds”
who now both observe Shabbat
with devotion and sincerity,
and now are rearing children to
live a life of Torah. At the same
time, I also gained a broadened
awareness of and appreciation
for embracing Jewish people
who really, really want to
cleave to G-d and to practice
meaningful religious Judaism,
notwithstanding other choices
they made earlier in their lives.
And once you embrace the
Jewish partner in a household
who has embarked on a life’s
journey with his G-d, you
come to embrace the non-Jewish partner, too. You just do.
You see the sacrifices that the
non-Jewish partner makes for
the Jewish partner to engage
his faith and to attend our shul,
to daven regularly in a Sunday
morning minyan or at a
Shabbat morning service every
week, to attend an Orthodox
Seder or Orthodox High
Holiday services, to come each
and every Tuesday night to
Chumash-Bible Study or every
Thursday night all year to
Talmud Class, and you come
to see why the Biblical Naomi
did not banish Orpah and

Ruth from her life during the
approximately ten years that
those Moabitess daughters-inlaw were married to her stillliving Jewish sons. You learn
as a Modern Orthodox rabbi
in Orange County that life is
very complex and that people
are deeply complex. You learn,
from first-hand encounters at
one synagogue, that there are
many people who ostensibly
are “observant” and “religious
pillars” but who actually are
Tartuffe-like hypocrites and
phonies who would defame
and destroy good people and
sabotage their lives. And then
you learn, at another shul —
like ours at Young Israel of
Orange County — that there
are other people whose life
choices place them in complex
positions where they nevertheless search honestly and sincerely for G-d, yearn deeply for
G-d, serve Him lovingly, and
they can be amazingly wonderful and kind people, who really
want to connect not only with
Jewish faith and belief but,
as much as practicable, with
Jewish observance and practice. That is why we embrace
conversion candidates who
seek to become Jews By Choice
and, for that matter, why we
warmly welcome Jews of all
backgrounds within the ambit
of our Modern Orthodox congregational community.”
Rachel, a member of
the community, says:
“As a product of interfaith
marriage, I see the issue from
two sides. On the one hand,

if two people love and respect
each other, I believe they can
make a marriage work and
thrive regardless of different
religious backgrounds. At
the core, religions encourage
similar values and an opportunity to learn about others and
increase overall tolerance. On
the other hand, if the marriage
produces children, it is important to educate them about the
two backgrounds they come
from. I was not exposed
much to either religion, and it
left me feeling a bit lost to have
two religions, but not know
much or practice. Interfaith
marriage, similar to interracial and same-sex marriage,
is unfortunately still challenging the “traditional” view of
what marriage is and puts the
added responsibility of explaining one’s choice, and helping
children and families to understand and accept that choice.”
Rabbi Arnold Rachlis of
University Synagogue
says: “Intermarriage is a fact
of life these days. People from
different religious backgrounds
fall in love and marry. Our
synagogue is dedicated to
supporting and fully integrating intermarried couples into
Jewish life. We believe that the
proper attitude of the Jewish
community towards intermarried couples should be one of
warmth, caring and love, representing the highest universal
values of Judaism, while stressing our hope for these couples’
commitment in return.” A

Community
members,
we want
your input!
For July: To Clone
or Not to Clone…
What Is the
Jewish Answer?
Be seen and
heard in JLife!
Send your
response to:
editorjlife@gmail.
com by June 20,
2014.

Jlife

| JUNE 2014 47

A&E

Similar to
colloquialisms, word
usage changes over
time when different
cultures adopt
a word with no
previous knowledge
of the its origin.

KNOCK
KNOCK

Learn about Yiddish colloquialisms
still used today.
BY DEBORAH LEWIS

EVER KNOCK ON wood as a way
to ward off bad luck? Wonder where it
comes from? The colloquialism has a few
origins, depending on the culture. Many
cultures believed spirits resided in trees
and that knocking on the tree brought
good fortune. The Christian evolution
of the phrase is the most prominent,
48 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

given the religion’s dominance in American
society. The “wood” refers to the cross.
In fact, according to the Encyclopedia of
Superstitions, “wooden amulets were worn
so that it could be touched more easily.”
The superstition even has a Jewish origin
dating to the Spanish Inquisition when
Jews had to knock a secret code on wooden

doors in order to gain refuge. It is possible
this explanation was created after the fact
so that Jews did not feel excluded. There
is a Jewish way of warding off bad luck:
keyn a’yin ha-rah, which is a Yiddish phrase
meaning “no evil eye.” I have heard this
expression used a few times and it’s usually
said by a family member more affiliated
with the Yiddish culture than I am, such as
a grandparent or even an aunt. More often
than not, myself included, I have heard
members of the Jewish community opt for
“knock on wood.”
Similar to colloquialisms, word usage
changes over time when different cultures
adopt a word with no previous knowledge
of its origin. There has been a plethora of
Yiddish words adopted within American
English.
Many non-Jews and Jews as well use
Yiddish in everyday speaking without realizing it. Some of the most popular examples include bagel, lox, schlep, scheipel,
schmooze, and schtick. This phenomenon
is referred to as Yiddishism. It is fascinating that a language that was once looked
down upon by not only Jews but Gentiles
as a symbol of inferior status, has now
been adopted by pop culture and American
English used every day without a second
thought. By immigrating to America, the
Jews finally found a place where they were
accepted, to a certain degree, and allowed
to practice their religion and culture. As
they assimilated and adopted American ideals, society reciprocated by adopting parts
of the Jewish culture within mainstream
culture. A
Deborah Lewis is a contributing writer to
JLife magazine.

A&E

The Sadistic
Shiksa Temptress
(and other dating dilemas)

LAUGHING IT OFF IN
ORANGE COUNTY

50 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

Dear N.:

N., why do I feel so confused?

I have met the girl of my dreams!
Tall and thin, Christina has shiny
blonde curls that fall gently to
her shoulders. Her soft, alabaster
complexion frames a delicate nose
and piercing blue eyes. What can
I say? Love at first sight.

— Heartbroken
Dear Broken:

Not to put too fine a point on
it, but Christina’s last name isn’t
Feigelbaum, is it? But then, what
She’s very well educated. Like me, of it? In America, do such things
really matter? Love is agnostic as
she loves math; she even wears a
well as blind (and, judging from
silver pendant in the shape of a
your letter, probably
plus sign.
suffers from a number
I’m sure we were
of psychiatric disormeant to be together.
ders as well).
G-d CAN’T
But then, on our secFace it: your girl is
EVEN SIT
ond date, something
goyish. Your honey
IN HIS own
troubling happened.
was homeschooled.
It was a Saturday
CHAIR!
Your in-laws of the
afternoon. I took her
future are intact of the
to my favorite deli,
foreskin.
where I ordered my
usual: ham and cheese on rye. She The good news is that you are
ordered the same, but then, to hardly the only member of our
my dismay, asked for it on white Tribe who’s fallen for a heretical
hottie. The Pew Research Center
bread... with mayonnaise!
2013 Survey of US Jews noted
Her behavior seems so strange that in the past decade or so,
to me sometimes. Like the time 58 percent of newly-married Jews
I was yelling at the guy who cut wed spouses who have never even
me off on the freeway, and she once tasted cholent. One assumes
told me that I should “turn the the Jewish partner brings into
other cheek.” I explained that I the marriage at least his or her
always check over my shoulder grandmother’s recipe for lokshen
before changing lanes, but that kugel (the key is to plump the
just seemed to baffle her.
raisins), or the whole enterprise

F E AT U R E S

THE
BIRTHDAY
PULLOVER

is doomed.
Look, things could be worse: your
milky-skinned maidele could be
(G-d forbid) Modern Orthodox.
As Rabbi Shalom Cohen, a leading expert on what G-d is thinking and member of Israel’s Shas
Religious Council, said last year,
“As long as there are [Modern
Orthodox Jews], the throne [of
G-d] is not whole.” G-d can’t even
sit in His own chair! But that’s
through no fault of your impish
idolatrix; she may be modern, but
she sure ain’t Orthodox (that is,
unless her church is topped with
domes shaped like the onions
your mamaleh chops for her soup,
but I don’t think those are the
people Cohen was referring to).
Not that there aren’t a few minor
annoyances you might encounter. If you ever decide to move
to Israel, for example, you may

experience a light bureaucratic
headwind, or what a few whiners might call “institutional discrimination.” As Israel’s grand
inquisitor and defender of the
faith, Chief Rabbi David Lau,
tells Ha’aretz, “Israel has to decide
if it wants ... to [bring] in everyone who has a connection with
Judaism, or perhaps only those
who are Jews. Maybe we really
can’t provide space here for everyone who wants.” Like the spouses
of the 58 percent. Or their children. But surely that’s a small
price to pay to live in a Holy Land
paradise like Nazareth.
You’re not the only one suffering in this situation, you know.
It’s not going to be easy for your
shayna shikse to break the news
to her loved ones, either. Imagine
her discomfort when she brings
you home to meet her family.

All through Sunday dinner, her
brother asks you for financial
advice as her father discreetly
scans your scalp for evidence of
horns. After you’ve left, she’s the
one who has to explain to them
that their ignorance is such an
embarrassment, that you’re obviously not that kind of Jew (and
no, not the doctor or lawyer kind,
either), and that everybody knows
that your horns are trimmed off
when you are eight days old.
But take heart, Broken, and look
to our history for encouragement.
Recall that our father Abraham
took a non-believer, Hagar, as his
wife. She bore him Ishmael, and
everyone lived happily ever after.
More or less.
— N. Troyer
Your questions annoy N. Troyer,
and yet the author answers them in
this column each month. Go figure.

It was Victor’s
birthday in a
few days time
and his Bubbeh
goes out to buy
him a present.
She finds a
menswear
shop that was
having a halfprice sale and
buys a luxurious
rollneck
pullover for him.
Unfortunately,
the pullover
was for a size 14
neck and Victor
was a size 18.
When Victor
receives his
present, he
immediately
tries it on. He
then writes a
thank you note
to his Bubbeh.
This is what he
wrote:
“Dear Bubbeh,
Thanks a lot for
the beautiful
pullover. I’d write
more but I’m all
choked up.”

Jlife

| JUNE 2014 51

concert
highlights
THE BANGLES
The Bangles play the Coach
House June 6. Forming in
the early 1980s, the band’s
hits include “Walk Like an
Egyptian,” “Manic Monday,”
“Hazy Shade of Winter,” and
the 1989 number-one single
“Eternal Flame.”
Susanna Hoffs (vocals/guitars),
Vicki Peterson (guitars/vocals),
and Debbi Peterson (vocals/
drums) formed the band in
Los Angeles in December
1980. Hoffs was born on the
Westside of Los Angeles, CA,
to a Jewish family.

RAFFIA

LIONEL RICHIE
Lionel Richie will be playing at the Honda
Center in Anaheim June 3. Richie earned his
fame as an American singer-songwriter and
musician in 1968 as a member of the musical
group The Commodores, signed to Motown
Records. Richie made his solo debut in 1982
with the album “Lionel Richie” and numberone hit “Truly.” Richie is also credited for being
a record producer and actor.

52

ETHAN BORTNICK
Ethan Jordan Bortnick will be performing at
the Grove Of Anaheim June 28. He is a pianist,
singer, composer, songwriter, actor, musician
and one of the youngest philanthropists in the
world. Bortnick was born in Pembroke Pines,
Florida. His parents, Hannah and Gene Bortnick, were born in the Ukraine and are Jewish.
Bortnick began playing a keyboard at the age
three and was composing music by age five.
He has been featured on national and international television programs. His parents have
helped him raise money for charities through
his performances.

Catch Raffia at Spaghettini’s
on Wed, June 11. Raffia is a
New York born-Los Angeles
based singer and songwriter
who studied at the Berklee
School of Music in Boston,
MA. Raised a short distance
from New York City in the
suburbs of Long Island, Raffia
was constantly surrounded
by a rich culture of soulful
music, dance, and meaningful art, which later served
as a foundation for her own
musical talents.

BETWEEN THE SHAKING (last month’s
earthquake) and the baking (summer’s
coming heat wave), glorious spring comes
to Orange County with fruits and flowers
in luscious abundance and a joyous holiday to celebrate them: Shavuot. As is our
custom, we decorate our homes and synagogues with flowers and leafy branches
for this occasion. But why? “The Midrash
tells us that although Mount Sinai is in the
desert,” explained Susie Fishbein, author
of the wildly popular “Kosher by Design”
(Artscroll) series cookbooks, “it suddenly
bloomed with fragrant flowers and grasses
on the morning that the Torah was given to
the Jewish People.”
They say you eat first with your eyes, and
Fishbein’s gorgeous cascading flowerpot
salad bar buffet shown here is almost too
pretty to disturb. “To get this look, use

a floral tablecloth covered with purple
cabbage-lined terra-cotta pots of all sizes,”
she instructed. Arrange mixed salad greens
in larger pots and all the fixings – multicolored tomatoes, cucumbers, sprouts,
carrots, dried cranberries, chickpeas and
so on – in smaller ones. And do as the
caterers do: arrange your offerings at various heights. You can use the flowerpots’
saucers to lift some of the pots and to tilt
others as well.
“Stick loose roses and greenery in every
open space,” suggested Fishbein. “Little
touches, such as using colored enameled
gardening tools as serving pieces and
watering cans to hold dressing, really make
this buffet charming and unique.”
Shavuot is also known as Chag
HaBikurim, a pilgrimage holiday when the
first fruits were brought to the Temple of

Jerusalem as a tribute to God’s blessings.
“Like the farmers and the Jews at Sinai,”
noted Fishbein, “on Shavuot we affirm
that G-d rules the world and that His blueprint for personal and national success is
the Torah.”
The holiday commemorates the giving
of the Torah to our ancestors at Mt. Sinai,
including the laws concerning keeping
kosher. Because all their meat products
and utensils were not kosher, for the first
Shavuot they ate dairy products, probably
a form of cheese curds made from milk –
the blintzes came later! “Another reason
for eating dairy,” added Fishbein, “is that
the Torah itself is compared to milk in the
Biblical passage: ‘honey and milk under
your tongue.’”
Blintzes are traditional for Shavuot, and
Fishbein’s individual berry-topped muffins
make a festive addition to your display.
And in commemorating such a milestone
moment in our history as the giving of the
Torah, how fitting that serving a rich and
decadent cheesecake has become a tradition as well, even causing some to call
Shavuot the “cheesecake holiday.”
I asked Chef George Geary, author of
“The Cheesecake Bible” (Robert Rose) for
some tips in baking cheesecakes. I have
always used a springform pan, but Geary
prefers a cheesecake pan, which has solid
sides and a pop-up bottom. There is no
spring mechanism, which can rust, and
the pan does not need to be greased. “A
springform pan needs to be replaced after
only a few uses because the sides buckle
and the spring in the release stops working,” he explained. “The bottom must fit
very tightly into the pan edge or it leaks. If
you do use a springform, lightly grease it
or cut out a circle of bleached parchment
paper for the bottom.
“Thorough mixing is critical for a perfect cheesecake,” he noted. “And use the
paddle attachment rather than the whip on
a stand mixer.”

Jlife

| JUNE 2014 55

A&E

How fitting that serving a rich and decadent
cheesecake has become a tradition.

The big bugaboo in baking cheesecakes
is that pesky crack down the center. “One
great myth about cheesecakes is that cracks
or crevices are caused by drafts inside the
oven or during the cooling process,” Geary
noted. “The truth is simply that eggs are
proteins, which create pockets in the fat
that explode when exposed to heat. Adding
the eggs slowly one at a time and beating
well after each addition will help eliminate
the pockets and the resulting crevices.”
Make sure that all your ingredients are
at room temperature and that you remove
the cake from the oven while the center still
jiggles and the sides look somewhat dry, he
added. “Don’t worry about the wobbling
center. The cheesecake will continue to
bake as it cools and the center will firm up.
But if you do get a crack in the center, just
cover it with whipped cream. The cheesecake will still taste wonderful.”

2 Crust: In a bowl, combine graham cracker
crumbs and butter. Press into bottom and
sides of pie plate and freeze.

3 Fill each muffin compartment halfway with
mixture. Place 1 raspberry and 2 blueberries
on top of each muffin. Bake 20 to 25
minutes.

3 Filling: In mixer bowl fitted with
paddle attachment, beat cream cheese,
mascarpone and sugar on medium-high
speed until very smooth, 3 minutes. Add
whole egg and egg yolk, one at a time,
beating after each addition. Fold in
blueberries, vanilla and almond extract by
hand.

4 Pour over frozen crust, smoothing out
to sides of pie plate. Bake until top is
light brown and center has slight jiggle,
25 to 35 minutes. Let cool in pan on wire
rack 2 hours. Cover with plastic wrap
and refrigerate at least 6 hours before
decorating or serving.
5 Decoration: In well-chilled mixer bowl
fitted with whip attachment, whip cream
on medium-high speed until soft peaks
form. With mixer running, sprinkle with
sugar and whip until firm peaks form. Ice
top of pie with whipped cream topping or
pipe rosettes around top of pie. Top with
blueberries.
Source: “The Cheesecake Bible”
by George Geary

Jlife Food Editor Judy Bart Kancigor is the
author of “Cooking Jewish” (Workman) and
“The Perfect Passover Cookbook” (an e-book
short from Workman), a columnist and feature
writer for the Orange County Register and
other publications and can be found on the
web at www.cookingjewish.com.

Jlife

| JUNE 2014 57

PROFILE

Rabbi Nancy Rita Myers
with her family.

PRAISING
KINDNESS
Honoring Rabbi Nancy Myers
BY DR. LISA GRAJEWSKI

TEMPLE BETH DAVID is a source of
pride to congregant Steve Harris — so much
so that he and fellow congregants chaired
a gala honoring the synagogue’s spiritual
leader, Rabbi Nancy Myers, on Friday, May
9, 2014. Attendees were met with a sit-down
dinner, presentation and a Shabbat service
honoring the well-respected and loved rabbi.
Rabbi Myers arrived on the scene 10 years
ago with a husband and two toddlers in tow.
In that time, according to Harris, “We have
seen our temple become more diverse in
its membership, more comprehensive in its
58 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

activities, and far more meaningful in the
way Judaism is taught, practiced and upheld
by the congregation.”
This is evident just by attending any given
service or event held at the synagogue. Part
of Temple Beth David’s goals is to enhance
the value of Jewish faith, practice, and pride,
while at the same time embracing the diversity. From the clergy — a female rabbi and
cantor — to the synagogue members (many
of whom are Black, Asian, Latinos and members of the LGBTQ community), the congregation is representative of Orange County’s

heterogeneous inhabitants.
And it is not just the congregants who
believe in what Rabbi Myers is doing. Along
with accolades from temple board members,
congregants and fellow rabbis in Orange
County, Rabbi Myers was presented with
a Certificate of Recognition from United
States Congressman Alan Rosenthal; a
Certificate of Recognition from the County
of Orange; and a Proclamation from the City
of Westminster proclaiming May 9 as Rabbi
Nancy Rita Myers Day.
Rabbi Myers goes even deeper. Like all
respectable super heroes, Rabbi Myers has
her life outside of her super-powered duties
as spiritual leader at Temple Beth David.
Rabbi Myers loves being a wife and mother.
She loves the outdoors, doing karate, listening to music and cooking — especially with
new recipes. And making all of this possible
is the support of her loving husband Paul and
their children Gabriel and Shane.
Mazel tov to Rabbi Myers and Temple
Beth David in celebrating 10 years with a
true Woman of Valor. A

The story of your life in
custom framed photographs.
The best gift
to give to
yourself and
your family.
Gift wrapping
available!

LOOKING TO LEASE
A LUXURY HOME
IN NELLIE GAIL?
Call for an appointment!

MEET & GREET!
Adam Chester is the NextGen
Outreach & Engagement
Coordinator at JFFS, working
directly with young professionals ages
21-45, planning events and fostering
meaningful relationships with OC Jews!
Adam studied Clinical Psychology at UCSD
and is happy to be back in Orange County,
where he grew up. When not working, Adam loves
to stay active through basketball, the gym, and skipping to
and from the refrigerator, scavenging for leftovers. Adam
actively volunteers, most frequently spending time with
special needs children and their families.

Nitzana Harel was born and raised in Israel. After her
service in the Israeli Air Force, she moved to the U.S. to
take care of her grandfather, recently graduating from Cal
State Long Beach with a BFA in Graphic Design. At JFFS,
she is the NextGen Marcom and Events Coordinator, where
she works on design, marketing, social media and event
planning. Being part of the Jewish community is very
important to her, providing not only a place for her to be as
Jewish as she wants to be, but also an opportunity to freely
share ideas with her peers.
Meet Nathan Gershfeld — Moishe House’s newest resident
— a chiropractor and nutritionist who recently moved
to Orange County after two years on staff at the worldrenowned True North Health Center. He is currently in
private practice in Yorba Linda, CA where he specializes
in health promotion through nutrition and specific
chiropractic. Apart from Jewish community events and
his patients, he loves exploring the outdoors, practicing
Russian, making new friends, and cooking healthy food.
TOP LEFT: Nitzana Harel and Adam Chester
TOP RIGHT: Nathan Gershfeld
MIDDLE RIGHT: Adam Chester
BOTTOM RIGHT: Ron Benporat, Dena Goldberg, Joella
Savitt, Briana Booth, Jenn Saar and Giselle Frixione

ORANGE COUNTY’S
JEWISH HISTORY
Live in the Wonderful World of Eichler
BY DALIA TAFT

BORN IN NEW York City in 1900 to
a Jewish immigrant family, Joseph
Eichler graduated from NYU with a
business degree and later moved with
his family to San Francisco. There, he
launched a career as a home builder
after World War II and soon became
famous for building architect-designed,
mass-produced homes at affordable
prices, something unheard of at the
time. Close to 600 “Eichlers” were constructed here in Orange County: the
Forever Homes tract in Fullerton and

the Fairhaven, Fairmeadow and Fairhills
tracts in Orange. A strong proponent
of fair housing and deeply opposed to
racial discrimination, Eichler was the
first large-scale tract builder to sell to
minorities, including African Americans.
Noted for their simple facades, floorto-ceiling glass walls and large central
atrium, well-maintained Eichlers are still
in high demand today.

BLOGOSPHERE
Jlife wants to acknowledge some of
the interesting blogs related to the
Jewish community. Enjoy!

(Michael) Oren is right that
Israel can’t “outsource our
fundamental destiny to
Palestinian decision making.”
He’s also right that there is
no perfect solution to Israel’s
problems.
goo.gl/rcyxtB
A school district in Rialto,
California, assigned 2,000
8th-grade students to write
an essay on whether or not
they believe the Holocaust was
“an actual event in history, or
merely a political scheme.”
tablet.com

DALIA TAFT, archivist of the Orange County Jewish Historical Society–a Connect 2 People Initiative
of Jewish Federation & Family Services–highlights images from the archives every month. For more
information, please visit www.jewishorangecounty.org/historical. You can also contact Dalia at
(949) 435-3484, ext. 167.

To be fair, the IDF is by no
means the first organization
to have [its] twitter campaign
taken over. It’s happened to
McDonald’s, Walgreens and
other corporations.
thejewishweek.com

LIFESTYLE

c

e
o
s
G
l
R
o
e
g
h

m

el

Ra

Sc

hif

The

f

Ra

ue

interaction takes place? The events have the
best intentions, but the depth of the event
is shallow. On college campuses, the African
American community seemingly affiliates
more with Muslim Student Associations
and Muslim Student Unions more so than
Jewish organizations. Clearly there are more
Muslims in the African American community so the link is easy to create, but the
Jewish community can align themselves with
these students as well. Our bond and history
is relevant to one another’s.
Recalling these things does
b li
h
c
ng
not excuse Sterling’s comRa
The
so
mentary, but it does
y
B
fa
remind me we need to
events have
J e w is h M ille n nial.
improve our communithe best intentions,
ty’s relations with other
but the depth of
subcultures in America.
The
discussion of race is
the event is
difficult; it does not come
shallow.
from a simple place. The
It is times like this when I
conversation is uncomfortask myself, How can we learn
able, pointing out a difference in
from this? What has the Jewish
order to find the similarity. But, being
community done and where can a Jewish
complacent is not acceptable and ignoring
ell, it is safe to say that community go? In the case of Sterling’s rhetwhat once existed does not do anyone an
oric,
it
is
clear
we
can
only
go
up!
But,
this
Donald Sterling (born Donald
ounce of service. It is imperative that we
cry
from
the
media
also
made
me
reflect
on
Tokowitz) is not going to win
remember that Jews once stood hand-inthe
good
things
that
the
Jewish
community
the hearts of Los Angeles. In all
hand with African Americans to fight for
has
done
in
conjunction
with
the
African
honesty, I did not even know
civil rights, civil liberties, women’s rights and
American
community.
who the man was, but his name was blaringly
freedom of religious equality.
Public
Broadcasting
Station
(PBS)
made
a
Jewish. This reason alone made me invesMajor figures in the community do not
tigate who he was and why he might even documentary called “From Swastika to Jim
speak
on behalf of the Jewish population,
matter. Now, it did not take more than two Crow,” discussing the connection of Jews and
but
their
words are heard by outside comseconds to figure out he is the owner of the blacks in the early 1900s to the Civil Rights
munities
because
their voices carry through
Clippers, born in Illinois in the early 1930s, Movement. The documentary explains how
media
and
in
public
forums. Finding ways
far away enough that his Eastern European Jews and blacks worked together because of
to
connect
to
other
subcultures has the
family did not experience the wrath of the commonalities. The two subcultures empapotential
to
rekindle
positive
relationships,
Nazi party. It might also be safe to say that thized with one another’s desire for equality,
in
hopes
that
hate
speech
will
be
muffled by
of all the people in our community that forming a cohesive working relationship to
the
sounds
of
a
unified
group
working
for a
we might be embarrassed of, or should be better the American public. Social amnesia
more
peaceful
tomorrow.
embarrassed by, Sterling is a new prime can- has allowed both communities to forget sim-

Anti-Semitism Takes
Center Court

W

didate. (Let me interject with the following:
Christians have Mel Gibson; we have Donald
Sterling. Both have made comments about
other communities that were fueled by hate
and bigotry.) Ironically, Sterling’s bigotry got
massive media coverage around Holocaust
Memorial day, a time when we reflect on
how far we have come and what we as a
society need to work on with our neighbors.
64 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

ple history. Both Jews and blacks marched
together, rode on the Freedom Ride together
and helped form the National Association
for the Advancement of Colored People
(NAACP). Where are these unions for a better America now?
I realize synagogues and churches create
events structured around blending communities, but how often? What long-term

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student in American Studies with emphasis on
Jews in America.

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EPIC
AFIKOMEN
The only Easter-Day scavenger
hunt without eggs.
BY ADAM CHESTER

WHOEVER SAID SCAVENGER hunts are
for children ordered by a mythical rabbit to
find brightly colored eggs clearly never participated in The Amazing Race: EPIC Afikomen.
That’s right, adults like to play games too, and
they can get quite competitive.
On April 20, after months of planning and
more logistical obstacles than empty boxes
of Matzo after a carb-craving tenth day of
Passover, Jewish Federation & Family Services,
Orange County delivered what was considered
one of the most exceptional events to ever hit
Orange County—a scavenger hunt.
Distinct clues led participants from one
location to the next, as teams utilized their
smart phones to find each stop. The race’s
66 JUNE 2014 |

Jlife

organizers designed the clues to help the
team learn about the participating locations
and better understand what exists for Jewish
adults within Orange County. At each stop,
which included synagogues, private schools,
and residential homes, teams did a fun activity
before getting their next clue. Activities ranged
from archery to hunts within hunts filled with
Passover clues.
Barbara Cohen, a member of team Matzo
Balls of Fury, said EPIC Afikomen was “a really great event!” and “a rare time when the hype
meets the reality.” Other competitors went by
the quirky aliases of Hebrew Hammers, The
Four Questions, Matzaholics, and the team
winning the award for most spirited, Jewish

American Spice Girls, a group of five young
women who went further than just a clever
name; they dressed the part, cheetah print
and all.
Lisa Grier, Chair of the NextGen Board
and active community member, played
a significant role in conceptualizing and
implementing the event. “EPIC Afikomen
demonstrated why Orange County is the
fastest-growing Jewish community in the
U.S. Through the scavenger hunt, we built
community and highlighted all of the incredible things offered to Jewish singles, couples
and families,” said Grier.
Following the scavenger hunt, participants
had an “EPIC After-Party” located at Mandel
House--the first Jewish residential home in
OC for special needs adults--where indulging in a 100 percent homemade Kosher for
Passover BBQ made for a beautiful eighth day
of Passover.
Sure, only the best (the team that tallied
the most “California rolling stops”) walked
away with top prizes, including Angels tickets,
Universal Studios tickets, and a beer tasting
tour at The Bruery.
EPIC Afikomen turned out to be more than
an opportunity for young adults to participate
in a fun activity on an Easter Sunday, when
most other recreational establishments were
closed. EPIC provided a unique outlet for
young adults to explore and galvanize their
connection to Jewish Orange County in a way
that left everyone winning. A

Adam Chester is a contributing writer to
JLife magazine and the NextGen Outreach &
Engagement Coordinator at Jewish Federation
and Family Services.