I am a happily married, stay-at-home mom of two wonderful but very different boys. We live on a hobby farm, but I know NOTHING about farming. I just know it's pretty out here. I am NO expert on parenting, but my kids are surviving anyway. I want to share my crazy journey because I know how many women are out there just like me!!!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Party Insecurity

Summer is coming, people. We officially have 12 school days left, including today. I am almost as excited as my boys are. To not have backpacks to worry about, homework, waking them up every morning. It's going to be great. For the first half, of course. By Late July we start with the "I'm bored" and my countdown until when I can send them back to school. But I'm living for today. Yay Summer!

We're in the thick of youth baseball season, and I'm loving it. I was a bit concerned going into this season, since my kids are at ages where they are on different leagues that play different nights. So I have baseball four nights a week, and two separate tournament weekends. That's a lot! But so far it's been great. I don't know what I love best: watching the kiddos play, being outside on these lovely spring evenings, or the company of the other baseball moms. I've said it before, I'll say it again: I love other moms. It's like we're all sisters, and there's an instant kinship. Especially when you find out they wish we could tailgate games with a cooler of beer as much as I do!

So that takes me to the subject of this post. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone this season. I am entertaining on a couple different occasions, at my house. Inviting people who have never been here before. I know that sounds ridiculous to be nervous about, but I'm nervous.

I love where I live. I really do. But it's different. And it's a ways out here. I see all these families at school and at ball games who bike to the school and the ballpark. Who already know each other because they are neighbors. Who share a bond because of shared neighborhood problems, gossip or parties. Who babysit each other's kids, know each other's dogs, and whose kids can just pop over to other kids' houses and ask if the kids can come out to play. All of this is foreign to me now. We are pretty isolated out here in a lot of ways. I am sometimes envious of the convenience these other families have, even though many moms have told me they long for the privacy we have. Hubby and I have had the conversation many times, about how tempted we are sometimes to move into town and have a simpler life. But the pros out here usually outweigh the cons, but not by much. Plus, my house is an ancient farm house, with an old farmhouse basement and small rooms. Not like the newer houses that most people live in now. Ahem.

Normally when I entertain out here (at least since we've had kids), it's family. Y'all know I have a great big, local extended family, so when we have birthday parties, holidays, or barbecues, they can get pretty big. Hubby and I are also blessed to be close to our siblings, so we have them out for dinner and a fire many times in the summer. It's comfortable, fun, and easy. So I don't know why I have any worries about having other people over. I think I feel like I'm asking so much of them, to drive all the way out here. It's 15-30 minutes each way for anyone on our ball teams or at our school. I know in my head that's not a big deal. I make the trip every day! I worry that since I don't know everyone that well, they might not want to come out. It's so silly!
So in a couple weeks I'm hosting a Lia Sophia party. It's a jewelry thing, like Pampered Chef, where it's a home party for a person who has a home business. You get my drift. So now, not only am I asking people to come out here, but I am asking them to buy stuff! Yikes! I haven't had one of these things since right after I was married, and I threw a Pampered Chef party to hopefully earn a pots and pans set that I couldn't afford otherwise. That was over 15 years ago. But I met a very nice lady at the baseball open house (of course) and she sells it, and it's really lovely stuff, so I thought I'd help her out. I'm sure if I was doing that kind of thing my friends would help me out.

It's at 7 p.m. on a Friday night. The day after school ends. Am I nuts? Hopefully people will have a curiosity factor at least about my house and want to come out. I hope my dog behaves. I plan on serving some snacks and some booze. That might help. I hope people show up, and I hope they have fun. But most of all I hope I feel like they enjoy coming out here enough to hopefully come again.

Because at the end of baseball season I'd like to have a huge (HUGE) barbecue out here for my kids' ball teams and any other baseball families we know. With lots of people. And kids. And grilling. And beer. And I want lots of people to come.

So after this season, hopefully my irrational fears will be put to rest. And hopefully I'll get my house cleaned up enough to not be worried about it.

Augh! I'm driving myself nuts. When I go over to other people's houses, I certainly don't mind driving out there. I always think they have lovely homes. I enjoy myself. I don't know why I've let myself get so weird about this. I'm a social girl. I can throw a mean party. And darn it, people like me.

I don't have kids and I'm not a baseball mom, but I know that my favorite person to have cocktails with is you and I drive 200 miles as often as I possibly can just to hang out with you at your house. That has to tell you something! :-)

About Me

I figure out how to be a parent and a wife by just living one minute at a time, and a lot of experimentation. I have a lot of family around me and I learn from them what to do, and occasionally what not to do! I have SO much respect for the title "Mom", whether she is a stay-at-home mom or a mom with a job outside the house. We are all, I believe, flying by the seats of our pants. So, as my hubby says, "hold on to your bootstraps!"