We Talked to a Romance Novelist to Help You Craft the Perfect Sext

Sending sexy things via text is so much harder than just saying them to someone's face. Things you say in the moment are fleeting, and unless you're being secretly recorded or something, those things disappear with the wind — or in other words, there are no receipts to come back and haunt you later if you accidentally say something weird or embarrassing. Luckily, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with a verified sexy writing expert on how to turn your boring sexts into the most fire texts your partner will ever get. Samanthe Beck, a best-selling romance novelist with Entangled Publishing, shared her best sext tips so all of our sexting games can get much, much better. Get your digits ready.

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1. Stay true to your voice. If you would literally never say something like, "I want you to rip my panties off with your teeth, you sexy beast monster," then don't use that material in a sext. Beck said you want to stay away from turning sext-you and IRL-you into a "Jekyll and Hyde situation" for your partner. Think of sext-you as the real you, but with the volume turned up three or four notches.

2. Know when to tease and when to "bring it hardcore." You don't necessarily want to come right out of the gate, guns a-blazing, with a full-frontal pic. "It's one thing to sext a picture of your panties around your ankles with the caption, 'thinking of you,' versus your hand in your V with the caption, 'thinking of you,'" Beck said.

3. Don't show him something via text that he hasn't seen yet IRL. Sure, your selfies are hot AF, but you don't want the first time he sees your sexiest lingerie to be a tiny little phone image, even if the lighting was truly great at the time.

4. Appeal to all his senses. Don't just tell him what you're doing, tell him how it makes you feel, how it tastes, how it looks, etc. "In romance writing, you need to have a good mix of description of what's actually happening plus a description of how it's making that character feel," Beck said. So in this case, you're the character in this romance sext. "It's not just, 'Oh, I'm taking my bra off now,'" Beck said. "It's like, 'I'm imagining your mouth on me, what's your tongue doing, how's my skin taste?"

5. Come up with code words for your dirtiest texts. This serves a couple purposes: If anyone looked over your shoulder, it would seem very innocent, and you get to basically create a second, sexy language with your partner that only you two know. Which is a very fun thrill. "Not every text has to pass the 'Hi mom!' test," Beck said. "But maybe you say, 'I'm gonna take you to church tonight,' when you mean, 'I'm gonna fuck you until you see God.'"

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6. Send him leading questions. This is a good way to freshen up a sexting game that's gone a little stale, and a good way to initiate a sext exchange when you've been silent or texting normally for a few hours. "You could text, 'I'm wearing my boots tonight,' or you could text, 'I'm wearing my boots tonight ... do you like reverse cowgirl?'" Beck said. "Then he's thinking about you in those boots all damn day." As she put it, you're not presenting to a jury. You can ask leading questions you know the answer to if it helps both of you get in the mood.

7. Make your sexts multidimensional. Modern technology really has a lot to offer when it comes to sending an incredibly hot sext. Beck recommends adding voice memos of things like you moaning his name. Bring in all the components you can. Make your sexts a full sensory experience.

8. Say exactly what you mean, don't be vague. Sure, an "I miss you," text is nice, but if what you're actually missing are his hands squeezing your ass or his mouth on your boobs, then say that! "Take it to the heart," Beck said. "Get very specific about exactly what you're missing."

😜 ~*~BONUS TIPS~*~ 😜

Instead of this: "I wish you were here." Text this: "I missed waking up in your arms this morning."

Instead of this: "I want to have sex with you." Text this: "I want to get you alone in the supply closet."

Instead of this: "Are you turned on?"Text this: "Would you prefer I rub you down on the couch and climb on top of you, or would you prefer I back you up against the kitchen counter and go at you from there?"

Instead of this: "Missing you."Text this: "I was five minutes late to my meeting this morning because I couldn't get you out of my head."

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