It's OK to feel lost every once in a while

5 Rules To End Bipolar Stigma Once And For All

Gather ’round tribe. Today good o’l Jess is about to dump some knowledge on you. Wanna be treated better? Wanna feel better about yourself? Wanna make a difference?

Then sit back and grab a nice cold beverage and listen up. Today is the day we fight back. Today is the day we push for our rights. Today is the day to stop with all the bullshit. In honor of Mental Health Month.

Rule Number 1: You have a mental condition

You have a mental illness. A brain disorder. A neural malfunction. Whatever you prefer to call it, news flash, your brain doesn’t work the same as normie brains. Period. It’s not a theory. It’s scientific fact. Stop. Fucking. Apologizing. Unless you are the greatest neurosurgeon that ever walked this earth, you didn’t do this to yourself. You were born with it. And as such, you have no control over what happens in there. So acknowledge it and let people know. Which leads me to my next point.

Rule Number 2: You have symptoms associated with your condition

Just like every malady to ever infest this planet, there are some things that happen when you are not doing well. Like…wait for it…you exhibit symptoms that characterize what kind of illness you have. Shocking I know! It’s almost like you’re sick or something. So I guess that means you need medical attention correct. Perhaps pills, therapy, ECT, TMS, etc. You need something to calm the “swelling” and stop the “coughing”. No medical professional should ever tell you that you are faking it. No medical professional should ever tell you that you aren’t “really sick” and “just suck it up”. Why do you allow your friends and family to tell you that? On that note.

Rule Number 3: You are sick regardless of public opinion

Just because someone isn’t coughing in your face doesn’t mean they aren’t sick. Don’t you ever presume that because Joe Dick-in-his-Hands sees crying as a weakness that you should feel bad about it. Crying is a symptom of depression. He isn’t a doctor so he can’t judge if he agrees or not. That’s his limited opinion on his limited experience. If he won’t be there to lift you up, then dump his ass and move on. Same goes for every other person you know: mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, great grandma, great grandpa, cousin Mel, Aunt Judy, Uncle Sam, Bob the gardener, Mary the cook, George the masseuse, Jim the gun enthusiast, Donald Trump, President Barack Obama, The Ghost of StoneWall Jackson, Bigfoot, Santa Claus, and Josie the Fire-Breathing Cyborg Pegacorn from Outer Space. No one’s opinion fucking matters!!! And with that.

Rule Number 4: You are sick regardless of Depression or Mania

Oooooooo…oh you better believe that is true. You better believethat is true. I’ll say it right now…Mania is also considered part of your bipolar…so therefore it weighs just as heavy as Depression. I know you’re all probably like, “But..but Jess. When you are in bed crying and feeling sorry for yourself then it’s an illness but when you are maxing out your credit card and fucking everything that moves it’s a decision and therefore no longer an illness.” Oh. Oh, that’s what you think. Bend over and let me get my cat-of-nine-tales and show you how wrong you are. Wanna dance cowboy? No, in fact, you are sick on both ends. Shocking! So therefore, stop blaming yourself. Stop. Blaming. Yourself. Let’s play out the scenario shall we:

Scenario 1

JM: “I’m so sorry sweetie. I’m trying my best. I just can’t seem to control myself. Whenever I feel like this, I can’t help but act the way I do.”

Hubby: “Really?! That’s your excuse?! You can’t control yourself?! You should!! You’re not even trying! How hard is it to stop sexting men on the internet. Show some self-control! If you love me, you’d stop!”

JM: “I said I’m sorry. It just happens. It’s almost like my body does it without my permission. Holding it in hurts. I’m not doing it to make you mad. This is just how I react.”

JM: “I’m so sorry sweetie. I’m trying my best. I just can’t seem to control myself. Whenever I feel like this, I can’t help but act the way I do.”

Hubby: “Really?! That’s your excuse?! You can’t control yourself?! You should!! You’re not even trying! How hard is it to stop crying and lying in bed all day. Show some self-control! If you love me, you’d stop!”

JM: “I said I’m sorry. It just happens. It’s almost like my body does it without my permission. Holding it in hurts. I’m not doing it to make you mad. This is just how I react.”

Rule Number 5: You are allowed to fight your condition and those who oppose you

You are worth it. You are more than just your brain. Once you have the right tools and support to fight this beast in your head, then you will make it through. Don’t ever let stigma put you down. They don’t understand how much you fight. How hurt you are. How you cry yourself to sleep. How you run around the house at all hours of the night. How you yell and scream. How you sit and stare. Be mindful of your actions. You are responsible for every one of them. But don’t let someone bully you into feeling bad for your illness. Your symptoms are a characteristic of a disorder. We all share a few key ones but there are those of us out there who have the more unpopular ones. Just be you and try your best. That’s all you can do and that’s all anyone should ever expect of you.

Hopefully this helps. A lot of this was pent up inside my head the past few days and I needed to let it out.

24 thoughts on “5 Rules To End Bipolar Stigma Once And For All”

The donor is going around referring to me as “crazy old Niki” and claiming I won’t let him see his daughter when he’s never once tried to see her.
I told him from day one about my bipolar, the harsh depressions, the manic episodes, the anxiety and paranoia. I warned him it was very bad, He didn’t get blindsided.
My first clue should have been when he said, “I’ll just have to make you so happy you can’t be depressed anymore.”
Such ignorance is appalling. And the way he lays it all at my feet when I have a legit illness and he’s just a lying sociopath who takes zero responsibility…Which one of us is truly crazy?

Never ceases to disgust me how non supportive people are of mental disorders. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Exactly! They should be ashamed of themselves! They don’t listen when we try and tell them what’s going on and when shit hits the fan they are the first to shame you and make you feel worthless. It’s a shame the donor is spreading hate about you. Spook shouldn’t be exposed to someone as foul as him even though she is his daughter. Not like he cares.

I wish I had this post to read so many times since 2007, Jess! I hope you can share it on BP in some form! 😉 Too bad these big-time blogs don’t allow “fucks” etc. – it’s not like we haven’t heard it before.

Anyway, I love how you stick all the messy, painful realness in the middle and then close with such empowering ideas that remind me that I’m worthwhile, I’m more than a stupid-ass brain disease, and I’m going to get through whatever shit is hurled at me from within or without.

I’m glad you got it out – that’s what blogging is ideal for, isn’t it? Catharsis is healing.

Physically, I’m fading fast….guess I’m not so over this walking pneumonia as I thought I was. So I’m off for some Lucy foot therapy while I veg out in the sun and watch Netflix. Sending you love in spades, girl!

I’m so so happy you liked it!!! It felt really good writing it and I’ve just been wanting to say all this for a while but never as clearly as I did. I hope you can relax and enjoy yourself. Have a great afternoon.

Oh you know I hate asking but if you could be so kind and reblog this on your page? I know you just posted something so I completely understand if you don’t want to or think it’s a little too many fucks. Just thought I’d ask. I still love you no matter what! XOXOXO

I just deleted a bunch of really mean comments that my Mom wrote about today’s post. She’s 80 and has lots of time to comment. It’s a long story about what her comments were about, but my post triggered her (I don’t even think I wrote “fuck” at all!!!!) and her remarks upset me. In the past when I’ve cursed even a few times in a post, she got all in my grill about it. I always delete her negative comments but I can’t help but read at least some of what she writes.

I think with this particular post, darlin’, I’m gonna hold off on the reblog. This is what sucks about writing under my own name – I can’t be 100% free. But you know I retweeted your post right away, & I’ll retweet it again! I realllllly hope you understand – my Mom is wonderful, but she has some serious problems. Although I know she loves me, it’s awful to read her comments when they come from her dark side. :(((((((((

Oh wow. I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Your mom has sent positive comments before I thought. Or maybe they were another relative. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself!!! Great job on that.

No worries & thanks for being so understanding; I felt bad but I knew you’d get it too – you remembered correctly, by the way…she did write some nice ones, so I kept those. She just fucking wrote another one. What a pathetic waste of time. I’ve told her that if she writes crazy shit I’m going to delete it, but that went in one ear and out the other. Sigh…..anyway, sending you more of my(non-germy) XOXOXOX love and a big hug, Jess!!!!!

You can;t see me right now, but I’m clapping. Bravo! 🙂
Too many people think if you can’t see something, it’s not real…it is.
Dropped by from Blogger’s Pit Stop, now following and shared. 🙂
Hope this weekend treats you kindly. 🙂

Hahaha! I’m so thrilled you liked it! It’s just one of the most frustrating things about mental health misunderstanding. Hopefully one day people will get it. Followed as well. You have a great weekend too😄

I love this post! It is all so true! I actually just lost one of my best friends because she couldn’t see it as an illness and told me I was using it as an excuse and a crutch for the way I was acting. Also, telling me I didn’t care about her problems and thinking mine triumph hers. It is so hard for others to see what we go through because its an invisible illness. I am so tired of having to apologize to people and feeling guilty for something I never asked for. Its not like people with a mental illness picked it out on a fucking menu. Awesome post!!

You’re friend sucks. Sorry. People like that are just not worth your time. You need to be around people who lift you up and help you become a better person not kick you when you’re down. It’s disgusting. I wrote this because I was just over the way small-minded people act. Take care of yourself Cait.

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Very well written and very reassuring. Honest expression. one week ago I was shamed and brow beaten by my Dr. and she banished me from Iher office and suggested I consult with a neuropsychiatrist(geratric). After treating me for 3 yrs , I experienced a 3 wk hypomanic episode and an absolutely miserable Christmas in bed and she exclaimed Oh and now you come in here “all remorseful”. I was devastated b/c I did not disrespect her in any way. Dx Bipolar II And I was a respected therapist for 25 yrs. Still recovering fr shock and wondering how I will manage on my own as I d/c meds as she willl not prescribe. Thank you Mary

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