Toxic Masculinity

Men are emotionally constipated to say the least. This affects men in every aspect of their life.

Men are constantly told not to cry or show emotion. The second that a man talks about emotion, feelings, or sentiments he’s considered “girly” as if that’s an insult. The problem starts as early as the first few years when boys are told they shouldn’t cry because they’re men and men do not cry. “Why are you crying like a girl? Be a man.” This concept is reiterated over and over throughout the years to the extent that they become distant and cold. Men have internalized that they cannot do anything that is even remotely feminine to the extent of personal hygiene and skin care.

This becomes a major problem later in life because they are trained to suffocate their emotions in the name of masculinity and that hinders them in their relationships. They are not able to express emotions properly or at all and this very miscommunication is the reason for the death of most relationships.

This is a huge problem in the south Asian community for both women and men alike. Men are taught that they will be the provider and the “man” of the house giving them idea that they are superior; thus giving them the idea that they can control women. In the south Asian community women are taught that they should go to school and get degrees. But after they get married they’re told that they shouldn’t get jobs and instead of focusing on their careers they should focus on their husbands. Women are told to compromise and compromise and compromise some more so they can keep their husbands happy. Men are never taught this; when a man gets married he is not told that he will have to compromise to make his wife happy nor is he taught to be empathetic towards her. This doesn’t just end with having trouble expressing emotions, men are taught they do not have to cook or clean. They are taught that before they are married their mothers will cook and clean for them and after they get married that’s what their wife is for. It’s embarrassing that men are told that they do not require basic human skills like being able to make themselves dinner or doing their laundry.

Women are told to compromise and compromise and compromise some more so they can keep their husbands happy. Men are never taught this.

The idea that men should not show emotion, talk about their feelings, or cry is destructive. The constipation of emotions can cause a lack of spirituality and depression, which you may not even be aware of. This emotional constipation makes it harder for them to connect with God because they lack sincerity. Although mental disorders are more likely in women, the suicide rate is 3.5 times higher in men.

You don’t have to suffer alone.If you feel as though you have a hard time expressing yourself. Reach out and seek help.