However, there’s a school of thought that it’s wrong to tell your children they are beautiful. That if you tell a girl she is pretty, you’re conditioning her to believe that this is her most valuable asset. That we should focus on the internal and not the external, to teach our girls that their minds, and not their faces, count. Is it as simple as that?

Inside and out

The reality is that good looks are pleasant to look at – after all, that’s why they’re called ‘good’.

On the other hand, a child’s appearance is far from their most significant quality. What is far more important is what is inside a child – their mind, heart, and soul.

So in terms of praising a child’s appearance, there should be a delicate balance. It’s okay to acknowledge your daughter’s beauty and son’s handsome-ness on occasion. You can comment on a particularly great photo, or when they look nice in an outfit. But for the most part, you should focus on the really important things. Kindness, intelligence, compassion, humor, hard work, good attitude and more.

Physical confidence

You should tell all your children what wonderful people they are, this builds their confidence. You should tell them daily, in detail, focusing on specifics. It’s important they have the right priorities in life and to recognize and appreciate what makes a person special, beyond the superficiality of appearance. When children build their sense of confidence from home, it is harder for them to be swayed by external influences.

Confidence is helpful to self-esteem. Tell your daughters they are pretty and tell your son he is handsome. They all are, but then again, all children are.