Robots (2005 film)

Robots is a 2005 American computer-animatedcomedy film produced by Blue Sky Studios for 20th Century Fox, and was released theatrically on March 11, 2005. The story was created by Chris Wedge and William Joyce, a children's book author/illustrator. The two were trying to create a film version of Joyce's book Santa Calls but instead they came up with a movie about robots, which is based on the book of the same name by Joyce. Joyce served as producer and production designer for the film.

Tim: They don't. Those days are over. My advice … hm, come back two years ago, then the job is yours. (laughs hysterically)

(The Bigweld Industries executives are gathered in the meeting room, watching a clip of The Bigweld Show)

Bigweld: (audio) So, remember, whether a bot is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts, you can shine no matter what you're made of. (the clip stops)

Ratchet: My goodness. What a remarkable legacy. Concern for the common robot. You don't come across old-fashioned values like that anymore , friends. And for good reason. THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT!!! Hello! Memo to Bigweld: we're not a charity! That's why old Fat-face no longer sits in the big chair. He's a relic! So I don't want to hear another (in a whiny voice) "Where's Bigweld?" (imitates a baby whining)

Chairman: We'll see him next month at the Bigweld Ball! He always goes to that. (Ratchet pushes a button which makes the chairman fall into a pit)

(Rodney has been dumped out of Bigweld Industries by the security guards; magnetic particles land on his face)

Tim: So, how'd it go?

Rodney: (struggling to get the particles off his face) What the heck is ... going on around here? Some ... some highly ... polished jerk is sitting ... in Bigweld's chair!

Tim: Hm. And you're sitting on the sidewalk. Magnetized! (laughs)

Rodney: Listen, I'll be back, and I'm gonna get to the bottom of this! (strenuously walks off)

Tim: Boy, when you pick a lost cause, you really commit! Where do they make dreamers like you? GET LOST, FREAK!'

Crank: Ugh. What's the use? There's nothing left.

Lug: Hey, Diesel, I found you a voice box. (Diesel puts the voice box in his mouth; starts imitating a Japanese sport announcer until the chip falls out of him) Uh ... here's another one. (Diesel starts barking like a dog)

Crank: That's no good. Give me that! (He attempts to take it out of Diesel, but Diesel just growls at him)

Lug: (sighs) I can never find parts in my size. (Fender's head suddenly flies into the basket; Diesel barks) What is it, boy? (finds Fender's head) Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?

Crank: "Lost weight"?! Look at - will you look at - he's a head, in a basket! We're doomed, I knew it. We're doomed.

Fender: Yeah, will you shut up, you neurotic nut? Why, I'd ... I'd smack you if I had a hand. (his body conveniently comes bouncing off the walls) Well, speaking of the devil, here I come. (his body lands) Ow! Dang it!

Piper: (emerging from a nearby recycling bin with a discarded Wonderbot) Whoa, check this out! Who would throw away such a cute little doodad? (Wonderbot whimpers) Aw, don't be scared ...

Rodney: (offscreen) Hey, that's mine!

Fender: That's him! That's the guy! I would know that face! I know that face, and I know that foot! (he realizes his hand is pointing to his own body instead of Rodney's) Psst! He's over there, moron. (his hand points to Rodney's body) That's the perpetrator! He knocked my head off! You want another piece of me?!

Piper: (handing Wonderbot back to Rodney) Here's your ... thingumabob. By the way ... the name's Piper. Rhymes with "viper". (hisses flirtatiously) See you round. (she suddenly trips over, but gets up and adjusts herself)

Fender: We're what?!(to Rodney) Once again. (Rodney slaps Fender again) Thank you. (to Tim) Fine! WE WILL GO!! YOU WILL EXPLAIN TO YOUR SUPERIORS WHY WE WERE NOT ABLE TO ATTEND YOUR LITTLE LUAU, YOUR BARN DANCE, WHATEVER IT IS! BUT WE'RE LEAVING, IN A HUFF!!!

[Rodney and Fender start to walk away]

Tim: No, no, no! Please, go right in! In fact, would the Count like to hit me?

Fender: The Count hit you?! The arrogance of some people! I will hit you on his behalf! (hits Tim, knocking him off the booth)

Ratchet: [on the phone] No, no. Tell him I'm not here. Tell him anything, just don't let him in!

Bigweld: [charges into the office] Ratchet! [Ratchet shrieks and hides in Bigweld's chair] I'll come right to the point!

Ratchet: What happened? Run out of dominoes? I'll send you some more.

Bigweld: You're fired!

Ratchet: Fired? On what grounds? This company has never been more profitable.

Bigweld: [shoves him out of his chair] Profits, schmofits. Now, get out!

Ratchet: No, wait, please! Listen to me! You can’t do this to me! This job is my life! It means everything to me. You don't know what I've done to get here. The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! This isn't helping me.

[cut to Bigweld calling the security on the phone]

Bigweld: [to the operator on the phone] Get me security!

Ratchet: Wait, please! Can I just make one more heartfelt plea?

Bigweld: Okay, what did you wanna say?

Ratchet: That! [whacks Bigweld on the head with the phone] Oh my gosh, I'm as crazy as my mother! [Bigweld groans; Ratchet hits him again]

Robot on truck: Hey! Get out of the way!

Herb: Hey, hey! I'm going to be a dad!

Rodney: Mr. Bigweld, are you okay?

Bigweld: I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball!

Rodney: I'll take that as a "no!"

[Bigweld has been taken hostage by Madame Gasket and is a few steps away from being incinerated]

Bigweld: Gasket, you're a sick, twisted, evil robot.

Madame Gasket: [flattered; in a sing-song voice and fluttering her eyelashes] I try.

Madame Gasket: Who are these losers?

Fender: We, sir...

Madame Gasket: I'm a woman.

Crank: Ouch. (Diesel's eye lenses break)

Fender: (with Scottish accent) We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bucket of bolts! And you will be defeated by the very outmodes that you scorn and detest!

Fender: I think so. COULD YOU ALL STOP MOVING AROUND?!? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!!! I THINK I COUNTED ONE OF YOU TWICE!!!

[Piper has just showed up unexpectedly to help the others fight Madame Gasket and her minions]

Piper: Did I miss the butt-whuppin'?

Everyone: Uh... no.

Crank: Matter of fact, you're a little bit early.

Rodney: This is our moment to shine, and this is what you show that you're really made of!

Fender: In my case, it's a rare metal called "Afraidium." It's yellow, and tastes like chick-eeeeeennnnn … [Fender clucks like a chicken and promptly lays an egg.][breathlessly] Oh-ooh-ooh! I didn't know I could do that!