The Lush Lexicon - III

Hey, slop jaw, quit boozgarting the felony juice so we can finish frontloading and get our fade on.

Last call lothario

Someone who's shy until last call, at which point he'll try to hook up with anything that has a pulse and/or booze at their home.

Loudmouth soup

A shot of strong liquor.

MDA

Mysterious Drinking Accident. When you wake up with bruises and cuts you have no recollection of receiving. Also called UPI (Unidentified Party Injury), UBB (Unidentified Beer Bruise) and drunk marks.

NBR

No Beers Required: Someone sufficiently attractive enough to hit on while sober.

One for the ditch

A less optimistic version of One for the road.

Pavement pizza

Vomit on the sidewalk, often found outside bars.

Prole piss

Any cheap American lager.

Prole piss poser

A yuppie who attempts to appear down with the working class by making a point of ordering only bottom shelf liquor and cheap beer.

Mystery guest

The guy at the party no one seems to know. They usually lurk in the kitchen near the booze.

Riding a rocking horse into battle

Getting drunk on 3.2% beer.

Roadside olympics

Roadside sobriety test.

Shelf jumper

Someone whose tastes improve from bottom to top shelf when someone offers to buy them a drink.

Skinflint sprint

The fast walk a departing patron employs after he's left the cocktail waitress a less-than-generous tip on the table. Someone who spills (unintentionally or otherwise) most of his shot down the side of his face. As in, "Don't waste anymore money on Mike, he slopjawed the last three shots."

Stout gout

The morning-after flatulence that often follows a night of drinking Guinness.

The Lush Lexicon - II

Hey, slop jaw, quit boozgarting the felony juice so we can finish frontloading and get our fade on.

De-boned

To become so drunk you appear not to have any skeletal structure to hold you up.

Deep-dish olive pie

A martini.

Deja booty

When a drunk inexplicably has sex with the person he swore he would never speak of or to again, never ever.

Deja booze

When an infrequently enjoyed drink reminds you of the last time you enjoyed it. As in, "This margarita reminds me of when I was partying in Tijuana, just before I vomited on myself, picked a fight with the bartender and got thrown in the clink. Good times, good times."

Deserter

A full beer, possibly hidden, found when cleaning up the next day after a party.

Hell's own drag

Influence. As in, "See the size of that shot? Ever since I started dating the barmaid, I've got hell's own drag at this bar."

Drink link

An ATM.

Drink shrink

Those who, after a few drinks, discover they have the ability to psychoanalyze and offer solid personal advice to their friends and/or strangers.

Drinking in stereo

Boozing with a drink in each hand.

Felony juice

Tequila.

Flip wire

That fine, fuzzy line between buzzed and hammered. As in, "That fucker ain't driving, he tripped the flip wire three shots ago."

Floored

When you're so drunk standing up just seems a silly waste of time.

Frontloading

Getting drunk before going to a nightclub because the club's drinks are expensive.

FUBAR

Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition.

Fugly bus

The mysterious bus that whisks away all the ugly people from the bar and replaces them with their beautiful cousins while you're in the bathroom draining your tenth pint.

Get the fade on

Going out with intention of getting very, very drunk.

Grog monster

The part of the brain that insists you keep drinking long after you should have went home and passed out.

Gutter hugger

Drinkers who empty the contents of their stomach into a gutter or nearest trash can.

Hooch hotel

The drunk tank.

Housed

Moderately drunk. This term is particularly popular with those who listen to the Grateful Dead and smoke large amounts of marijuana.

Jack and Jill

A shot of Jack Daniels and a beer.

Joint of no return

A bar from which you are 86'd.

Juice card

Received on your 21st birthday.

Jumping on the grenade

When two groups of the opposite sex meet, one member "jumps on the grenade" by talking to (or possibly sleeping with) the least attractive member of the other group so as to ensure the success of the rest of the group.

Jumping strays

Stealing unattended or abandoned drinks at a bar or party. As in, "I'm so broke I've been jumping strays all night."

Kamikaze eyes

The look a drunk gets when he spies someone he always hated but never had the guts to fight. Until now.

Keg commander

the boisterous chap who hovers around the keg so as to ensure everyone knows how to properly pour a beer.

Keg Commander...last kegger I attended, I headbutted the Keg Commander....broke his nose, but he let me pour my own damn beer after that...and, more importantly, he let my WIFE pour hers as well...lecherous bastard..

Second trimester... no liquor... but the beer nuts are all mine! MINE MINE MINE. And then I'm gonna move onto the pretzels! And the honey roasted nuts! And the mints! And the chips! And then I'm gonna hop over the bar and take over the ice cream! YEAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

How come I'm always late to the party? Hey are there any 'Rita's here? I know - sissy drink - but I have to go back to work when I'm done... I'll leave all the non-liquor stuff for Dana, she needs to eat for 2 right now *G*.

Maybe liquor will help my brain work better... I see an experiment in the making!

No, I DON'T know why the Bartender has Evil Glenn's girlie's panties under the bar... but then I'm finding all kinda crazy stuff under here... Anybody know where the pin to this grenade went? I think I heard it slide under the jukebox...

Laps around pool(table). Buttery nipples. Shimmying. I have GOT to start checking the calendar over the weekends. Somehow I'm always the last to arrive. Everyone's already drunk and now I have to catch up. On the plus side, everyone's had so much that I won't have to share the homebrew. Uh, except for Susie. Pissing off the Alliance webmistress isn't high on my list of things to do. She'll be getting her beer sometime today. Hopefully she'll pop the top here at the Bartender's.
Hey Harvey! Have we graduated from beer to tequila shots already?

Nah, Eric, they're like jello with a pulse. I wanted them to be like Silly Putty so I could squish them on the comics page and pick up the pictures on 'em, but you takes what you gots and deal, right?
*shimmy*

Thank you Eric. That's all I really wanted. If anybody needs me I'm going to be over in the corner trying to massage the feeling back into my finger tips. And laughing at everybody who's getting drunk.

Harvey! Trey! Must you both be performing a strip show to "It's Raining Men" on the pool table?

I'll come clean. The Robin costume is mine--and sadly I'll have to break all your hearts by saying that the Dynamic Duo is in fact NOT ambiguously gay. Come forth, Batman, and tell these drunken revelers who you be.

Tuesday Happy Hour

Madfish's Random Wisdom...
Prabablt the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy! Forget it little friend.

Simpsonspeak from Homer [D'oh!]
"Simpson-Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in his-tor-y. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree....D'oh!" (sung to the air of Flintstones theme song)

Things A Man Should Know:About Drinking:
The perfect Martini: There is no such thing as the perfect Martini. Make it the way it tastes best to you. Provided that you remember that there is no such thing as a chocolate Martini.

The Lush Lexicon

Hey, slop jaw, quit boozgarting the felony juice so we can finish frontloading and get our fade on.

Confused?

You should be. Bar slang is constantly evolving and if you fall behind you'll start coming off like Al Gore trying to get down at Ol' Dirty Bastard show. So let The Bartender hip you up and get you in with the cool kids.

Bait-and-switch

When an attractive person invites you to his or her table then steers you to a less attractive friend.

Barley sandwich

Beer for lunch. Also called a slurp sandwich.

Bayonetting the wounded

Gamely drinking the half-finished beers the morning after a party.

Booze coupons

Money.

Bedspins

The variety of spins that occur while lying prone. Putting one foot on the floor usually helps. If you are already on the floor, may God have mercy on your soul.

Beer bitch

The person sitting closest to the cooler or refrigerator at a party whose sole purpose in life is to grab another beer when yours runs out.

Beer blinders

One's perception when under the influence of alcohol. Often causes unattractive people to look hot, long distances to look jumpable and break dancing moves to look easy.

Beer Pressure

The tendency to drink what your friends drink.

Beer queer

A straight man who will pretend to be gay so as to solicit free drinks from an unsuspecting homosexual.

Blackout Brigade

A group of heavy drinkers.

Booze compass

The instinct that leads you home when you're blackout drunk.

Booze muscle

The increase in courage and combat abilities linked to heavy alcohol consumption.

Booze snooze

A nap taken early in the afternoon after a morning of drinking, designed to prepare you for the evening's drinking.

Boozgart

The person who, when he is supposed to be passing the bottle of liquor around, stops to reflect on the first time he got drunk, last time he got drunk, etc. A derivative of the stoner term bogart.

Breaking the Seal

Urinating for the first time during a drinking session. Once the seal is broken, restroom trips become much more frequent.

Britney Spears

A light beer. As in, "How can I take you seriously when you've been sucking
on Britney Spears all night?"

Buzzkill

That which destroys the buzz. Examples are fights with one's significant other while at the bar, boors who insist on telling that story one more time, your best friend admitting that he/she is sleeping with your significant other, horrible music after you've just heard three of your favorite songs in a row, or discovering that you actually have less than half of the money that you thought you had at the beginning of the evening.

What the Fuck?

A google search for historical origins of fuck yields Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon: Fuck You! as #5 result. Only #5?!? UPDATE: Well, now Madfish Willie's is the #2 & #3 result. In a couple of days, I should be #1! Woohoo!

Here's a recap of some of the top results and we'll all know where the fuckfuck came from.

Comments on the author's use of the word "frig" sparked a fascinating discussion about the etymology of the word, which led to further discussion about the origins of my favorite word - "fuck."

For the F word in action...

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From ChocolateKisses
The grapevine has it that the word first came about through the justice system. When there was a case of 'rape'- the action was described as such . . .
*the accused used the victim For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge*

Thus it became an acronym - FUCK. And of course we had our way with it, you know, fucked with it a bit - leading to the way we use it today

From Summanus
Fuck might come from the Latin verb Futuere, meaning to fuck. It was a consider rude to express sex with futuere, like today it might de impolite to say fuck. 't' could easily change to 'ck'.

From Shawn
Word History The obscenity fuck is a very old word and has been considered shocking from the first, though it is seen in print much more often now than in the past. Its first known occurrence, in code because of its unacceptability, is in a poem composed in a mixture of Latin and English sometime before 1500.
The poem, which satirizes the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England, takes its title, "Flen flyys," from the first words of its opening line, "Flen, flyys, and freris," that is, "fleas, flies, and friars."

The code "gxddbov xxkxzt pg ifmk" is easily broken by simply substituting the preceding letter in the alphabet, keeping in mind differences in the alphabet and in spelling between then and now i was then used for both i and j; v was used for both u and v; and vv was used for w.

This yields "fvccant [a fake Latin form] vvivys of heli." The whole thus reads in translation "They are not in heaven because they fuck wives of Ely [a town near Cambridge]." (dictionary.com)

From Otto
Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today, is the word Fuck. Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", Fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word that just by it's sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck....as most words in the English language is derived from the German word "Friken", which means to strike.

In English, Fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transitive verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley". As an intransitive verb, " Shirley fucks". It's meaning is not always sexual however. It could be used as an adjective such as, "John's doing all the fucking work"; as part of an adverb, "Shirley talks to fucking much"; as an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Shirley is fucking beautiful"; as a noun, "I don't give a fuck"; as part of a word "absofuckinlutely or infuckingcredible" and, as almost every word in a sentence, "fuck the fucking fuckers".

As you must now realize, there isn't to many words with the versatility of fuck. As in these examples describing situations such as fraud, " I got fucked at the used car lot"; dismay, "awe fuck it"; trouble, "I guess I'm really fucked now"; aggression, "don't fuck with me buddy"; difficulty, "I don't understand the fucking question"; inquiry, "who the fuck was that"; dissatisfaction, "I don't like what the fuck is going on here"; incompetence, "he's a fuck up" and dismissal, " why don't you go outside and play hide-n-go-fuck-yourself". I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multipurpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word.

I say, use this unique flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly. FUCK YOU!

From J.T.
The way I heard it, somewhere in medieval times, one of the English kings had a brilliant idea to tax prostitution instead of outlawing it. All professional ladies had to apply for licenses to sell their wares, and each one who did received a certificate acknowledging their legal right to conduct their trade. The certificate said Fornicating Under Command of the King. F.U.C.K. Probably about as much validity to it as the other stories I've heard, but I like it.

Incidentally, the best examination of the word I've ever heard was done by George Carlin in his famous "Seven words you can never say on television" routine. He also pointed out that "fuck" is a word for making love, yet it's used when we really want to insult somebody. Carlin said, "I'd rather see a show of two people making love, rather than two people trying to kill one another, but I'd like to take it further. I'd like to substitute the word "fuck" for the word "kill" in all those old movie clichés." for example,

"Okay, sheriff, we're going to fuck you now. But we're going to fuck you slow."
"Careful with that clutch, or you'll fuck the engine again."
"Fuck the ump. Fuck the ump. Fuck the ump."

From John
I have a link here that addresses the question of the origin of the word "fuck." I can state categorically that it is not an acronym of any kind. Even though no one really knows for sure what the origin of the word is, it is a fact of our language that acronyms don't appear before the late nineteenth century. For a word that could have been around as early as the year 1250 (predating Modern English), an acronymic origin is not really possible.

One possible origin for the word I've heard, and isn't mentioned here , is that "fuck" may be derived from the German word "foch," which means "to plow." I kind of like that one.

From Anonymous
the word comes from Latin.....facies: to make or do, English cognate is fuck

From Karly
I like this Robin Hood type story. It's a nice twist having the main characters be woman. I noticed a few things....<> frig??

From Jean Roberta
Your question ("frig?") deserves an essay on archaic terms for sex. (There is probably a book on this somewhere.) "To frig" is a nineteenth-century term for masturbating (usually someone else), or to be more precise, finger-fucking. I like the word because it seems more precise than any currently-used term for this activity. Since my story is set in the past, I used the old word, even though it probably isn't old ENOUGH to give an accurate flavor of "days of yore" (the Robin Hood era).

Another nineteenth-century word that, for some reason, seems to have disappeared is the French-flavored "gamahouche" (or "gamahooch") for oral sex, i.e.: 69, giving head, going down on.

You can find these words and many more in paperback reproductions of THE PEARL, a racy magazine that flourished briefly in Victorian England (1880s, I believe). I can't remember the publisher, but you could find publishing info under the title in BOOKS IN PRINT in any library.

I don't see why perfectly useful words have to die, but if readers don't know what I mean when I write, I suppose I might as well frig myself.

From Siobhan
I have heard this word used in an epithet--"that frigging idiot!"--but not very often. Have always thought it was supposed to be a more polite way of saying "fucking", but now I see it has a meaning all its own, though not that much different from the word fuck.

And speaking of the word fuck, since we have been discussing words lately, isn't it interesting how that word can be used to mean making love (although it's not a very, erm, romantic word for that delightful pastime), and also as one of aggression and heavy-duty insulting?

From Volponia
Sure is, Siobhan, almost as interesting as the way fucking has been employed (not solely by men!) primarily to exercise power over the fuckee. And what's the deal with so many of the words dealing with sexual parts and acts, anyhow? Why are they so dry and hard, when we are so soft and wet (well, *some* of us... ) I mean, really, the word "cunt." It sounds like a good alias for a sledgehammer. And "prick"? Something slender, sharp, pointy, hurtful? No thanks.

From Shivaji
Years ago, I had to take History of the English Language course to complete the requirements for the doctorate degree at Columbia. Although I resented taking it then, I was most fortunate that a renowned American lexicographer (writer of dictionaries) gave this course. At that time he was on the board of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED).

Professor was a short, little bald man, at the edge of retirement, and extremely polite and formal. His lectures were fascinating because, instead of sticking to linguists' mumbo-jumbo, he used to talk about historical, social and cultural influence on and of words. Then one day, when a student wanted to know why OED did not publish curse words, Reed corrected him and said it's OED's policy not to publish meanings of words if their etymological history (i.e., how words came into a language) was not formally determined. Most curse words have a problem of origin, he said. Then, surprising every one, in his gentle, polite way, he said, with just the slightest impish smile, that he was about to break the etymological history of the word, "fuck." He actually pronounced the word, with the most delicate little pronunciation, wispy and gentle! The almost silent word could be heard in the class like a pin dropping. Students were stunned. (This was 1973). Thereupon he gave the most erudite lecture on "fuck" that I've ever heard!

It seems that there was a word in Old English, used by farmers, that was a direct descendent from the Latin, "pug," the infinitive form of "pugnare" meaning "to hit aggressively," but also "to pierce." During the Great Western Migration many European words mixed with each other. Some words were imported in their original form, but many began to be used with distinctly different sounds. The great fairy tale writer, Grimm, studied these sound shifts, and observed that these sounds changed according to certain phonemic (i.e., sound) patterns and actually created a formula to trace the sound shifts.
According to Professor, "fuck" comes from an Old English word "fuk" meaning, "to plant." I am not an expert in Old English, but Reed quoted from OE texts to illustrate the meaning of the word. Reed says the word "fuk" was a result of a sound shift from "pug" because the p-sounding words often changed to f-sounding words (for instance, the Latin 'pater' meaning father, changed to the English, 'father'), and the g-sounding words changed to k-sounding words (the Latin 'genu' meaning knee, changed to the English knee. Up to the 18th century the English word was actually pronounced with the 'k').

So, "pug," changed to "fuk," meaning, "to plant." Professor Reed said that around the tenth century, in Medieval England, the word somehow took on a sexual meaning. Apparently, Chaucer may have been one of the first writers to use the word sexually. Planting left agriculture and took on a human behavior, Reed said, panting!

Steven, the whole class was mesmerized by this lecture. Walker said he had written a 22 page paper for the Journal of American Linguistics, "My tour de force was that I never once mentioned the word in my paper!" he said with the cutest smile. Finally, with the same modest demeanor, Professor Reed announced that he was currently hard at work on "cunt." The whole class burst out laughing

From Pan
I'm late in catching up with the fuck thread, but I don't think anyone has mentioned the book, THE F WORD, edited by Jesse Sheidlower and pub. by Random House three or four years ago (Available at Amazon.com & Amazon UK). The book contains just about all you might care to know about the word. (Not the subject, of course, which is endlessly fascinating.)

Sheidlower writes that the word "fuck" derives from several Germanic languages and words that have sexual meanings as well as meanings such as "to strike" and "to thrust." He believes that the claim for acronymic origin of "fuck" began sometime in the '60's and says he thinks the claim is false, since "Acronyms are rare before the 1930's, and etymologies of this sort--especially for older words--are almost always false."