Tuesday, April 29, 2008

With reference to my earlier post, I've thought of a way to "contain" my outburst of emotions. Since this is just a seasonal thing that I will eventually get over. I've decided to still post my sappy entries here but in codes (which i think you've to be like God in order to understand, else God gave you the interpretation). Initially I wanted to write in parables but then again, I'm not skilled in that. Then I wanted to be cultured to write in poetry, but that would not aid in removing emotions. In fact I think given the beauty of such writing, more emotions would surface. Hence I've decided to still write in prose. But only the 1st letter of each word. Here's my 1st attempt, and here goes:

We had our dinner at Thai Express Bistro and ate so much that I could hardly breathe... Ok maybe I exaggerated a little but we were really full... Thereafter they kept talking about going to some dark dark place that I somehow happened to miss while walking there. And when we eventually went there to take a look, not so dark eh... But that place had some weird looking dessert which I cannot recall the name...

The last time I went, it was really dark... But somehow yesterday it was rather bright. And they had some lousy music playing in the background that so distracted me all the time. :(

But the food was good. Lioness and I shared a Sofetial (when gals say that they are full, pls remember that they will somehow have a little bit of space for nice dessert... hehehe) which was really cool! Warm cake with hot chocolate inside plus ice-cream at the side.... *heavenly*

Initially the waiter told us that they would not change our ice-cream to a different flavour under normal circumstances. So we told him to make it special for us and he DID change the ice-cream. So nice of him... :) The rest of the garden ordered a "fermented" looking cake called Morbida (so morbid-considering how it actually looks. hehehe) plus 2 red wine. LP was like, I'm tired so I need to drink. RITE. *hahaha*

And so it was really fun as usual. My dear 27/97. Not even my "real" JC class yet they would so nicely jio me for their gatherings and allow me to be part of the garden. I love you all!!! When Roo and Gardener comes back let's meet again. :)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Think since Sat night, I haven't actually had the luxury to sleep more than 5-6hrs a day.

And it's REALLY NOT that Sab has been out to chiong. REALLY. NOT.

Somehow things just "pile" up and hence I had to sleep late. Not that I accomplished much also. Plus some unnecessary things are weighing me down mentally.

*why* :(

With the lack of sleep, my mind's grown weaker also I reckon. Keeps wondering off to places that I dun want it to go to.

So many things that I need to do. So little time. Actually it's so little energy (to be exact) to start off what I wanna do.

I'm thinking of crashing now. Then I can wake up early to pray. I need that. Lots of it actually. :/

Nudging the indifference inside me is making me teary again. I need emotional strength. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe it's just all inside my head. But then again, I never know. Handling things related to that had always been unexpectedly not good.

也許妳已經放棄我 也許已經很難回頭Perhaps you have already given up on me, perhaps it is already very difficult to turn back我知道是自己錯過 請再給我一個理由說妳不愛我I know it's all my fault, please give me another reason, say you don't love me

就算是我不懂 能不能原諒我Even if I don't understand, can [you] forgive me?請不要把分手當作妳的請求Please don't use parting (breakup) as your request我知道堅持要走 是妳受傷的藉口I know wanting to go is your wound's excuse請妳回頭 我會陪妳一直走到最後[Can] you please turn back, I will accompany you until the very end

就算沒有結果 我也能夠承受Even if there is no conclusion, I can still endure我知道妳的痛 是我給的承諾I know your pain is the promise I gave妳說給過我縱容 沉默是因為包容You said [you] gave me tolerance, and silence was because of acceptance如果要走 請妳記得我 如果難過 請妳忘了我If [you] want to go, please remember me, if [you] feel sad, please forget me

Sunday, April 20, 2008

But I only realised it when I reached Kebangan. I was thinking, how come it's so unusually quiet this morning... It's already 9plus and yet I dun hear anything from the usually pple that will sms or call me on sunday morns. So I checked my bag and *tada* it's not there.

Actually I realised that it's not such a "handicap" to deal with after all. Guess we're all just too used to having the convenience of a phone with us all the time. I can actually live without it. :)

*like real* hahaha...

Anyway I was right. If I had my HP with me, I would have already gotten 4 smses and 1 phone call by the time I reached Kebangan.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

i drank expired milk this morning. if it were a pure mistake i would ve accepted it. but i realised from my dad that my mum purposely kept it though it had already expired for more then 10 days. the milk had already solidified when i poured it away. my bro knows about it too. reason for keeping it? so that my mum can drink it and we dun waste food.i only ve 1 qn: are we really so poor that we need to eat expired food? my dad answered my qn with a brilliant ans: no we're not. it's just a poverty mindset. *sigh*

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Lord You AreMore Precious Than Silver Lord You Are More Costly Than Gold Lord You AreMore Beautiful Than DiamondAnd Nothing I Desire Compares With You-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This song brings me back to a long time ago.

10 years actually.

When a simple gal met the Great Him and found all that she needed.

But as the years went by, somehow the simple gal became not so simple anymore.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I'm on mc today...

Took the chance to do up my ICPAS reclassification form and send it out to convert my membership from provisional to non-practising. Yes I know... I took THAT long. Kept pushing it back cos I didn't have the VitM till now. :/

Well, at least I finally have it? :)

Taking my medicine soon. Hopefully I dun knock out then I can embark on my "clearing-sab's-room-floor" exercise.

In case you're thinking that my room is in a huge mess, it's NOT.

There's just 2 stack of A4 size stuff that I need to clear. Paper and books that I need to put away. I have already mercilessly thrown away most of the paper from my table, just need to file away the remaining now. Then I'll have a nice, neat and clutter-free room for the time being.

Until the NEXT "cleaing-sab's-room-floor/table" exercise is necessary.

"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. "

In my walk with God, I will press on.

"Not that I have already attained": does not matter whether people give me recognition, does not matter whether I am in any leadership position, does not matter whether I've my own ministry... Even if I do not, I will still press on.

"or am already perfected": does not matter whether I am gifted at what I'm supposed to do, does not matter whether I'm having good success right now, does not matter whether I'm being taught the "right" things/way to do it... Even if I'm not, I will still press on.

"This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

Ok, I'm back from lunch! After running errands (I went to collect my driving license!! BUT... my photo is HORRENDOUS... BIG SIGH... AND I just realised that this card format does NOT expire. Which means my HORRENDOUS face will be there for LIFE!!! *faint*faint*faint*), I went to my fave place #2.

Henceforth I managed to check off item (2) from the first list of yesterday! WooHoo!!! I think I will do this once a week. QUALITY reading...

While I was there, I realised that the guy at the table next to me is more POWER man. I was just reading and making mental notes (so that I can internalise it and maybe even blog about it here) of what God is speaking to me, he actually had a notebook to write things down while he was reading his bible. Made me feel kinda 'ashamed' that I'm kinda like lazier than him. :(

Just before I left, a tai-tai looking lady took the table behind me. She's not quite that special but her companion was. It was a really handsome... DOG! (ahem, I purposefully took you all thru that route. hahaha...) Soooooooo cute!!! With a pink scarf tied around her neck (I meant the dog). So docile while waiting for the owner to buy her drink while she had hers too, prancing around the table looking around. I so much wanted to take a photo of her! But I didn't...

Anyway, this lunch did good to my spirit and soul:- Spirit: Read my Bible (with revelations)- Soul: Took a walk near the sea... *beautiful*

But Gina will be in Japan in Sept08! So if say by then I've some spare cash, any takers to go with me to Japan say the last week of Sept? 1st Oct is a public holiday... :)

Actually anywhere nearer is fine with me also.

As long as it's not like Malaysia. Nothing personal, just not my ideal preferred place of having a holiday... I'm thinking of going to places that require me to take a plane there actually. And preferably that place's currency is weaker than SGD so that I can spend like a Queen while I'm there. Hahahaa...

Not-so-immediate Future1) Go for a short trip (read:relax and get away from my real life)2) Go for mission trip (if possible 2, 1 nearby and another to .....)3) Clear the boxes in my room that I've not touched for 11yrs since I shift to CCK4) CFA (this dep on my finances & whether I wanna stay in the banking sector)5) Go to a faraway place that snows / has nice weather, scenary, shopping places (basically just to see the rest of the world)

I think my lists are never-ending, just that now I cannot think of any other things that I wanna include for the time being. Will update this as time passes and hopefully I can cross out some of the items stated there really soon.

Monday, April 7, 2008

While walking towards the MRT station, I noticed various groups of people trying to hail cabs. Didn't give them much though actually. Until I walked passed the Taxi stand. Never had I seen (in my 11yrs of staying at CCK) soooooooooooooooooo many people queueing at it before. I think a quick estimation of about 50 people would not be an exaggeration. Actually the 1st thought that came to my mind was, how come so many people overslept today? (hahaha... kinda dumb right, but well it's still an early Mon morn to me so my brain was not functioning yet)

But I got a rude shock as I drew near the station and saw throngs of people everywhere. Then I realised that the MRT got disrupted due to an accident. I foolishly still went up thinking that I could take the train from the opposite direction to Marina Bay. When a train approached, hundreds of people pushed their way in only to receive an announcement from the station that both directions were stalled. But no one at ground level told us that and a poor guy complained to me that he had been waiting for 30mins and still is confused as to what he should do. I decided to follow the masses and made my way to take the free shuttle - thinking that it would bring me to Jurong East and only realising that it would only take me to Bukit Gombak when I was about to board it. It was on the bus that another guy told us that he actually witnessed a man jumping off the platform about 30mins ago. My 1st thought was not a compassionate one actually. It was more like, why did he have to choose peak hour and at my station to do it. :/

*sorry God I repent*

To make matters worse, the shuttle bus in front of my bus almost had an accident with a Yellow cab just 1 bus stop away from Bukit Gombak MRT. The taxi driver came out of his cab to pick a quarrel with the bus driver when there were literally a hundred-plus people on the 2 buses trying to make our way to the MRT station. Seriously I had the impulsion to pull the taxi driver aside to get him take a good look at the situation; he was causing a serious jam over his near-accident. The bus didn't even hit his cab for goodness sake...

And so poor us had to walk 1 bus stop to the MRT station only to realise that all train services have already resumed by then. What a waste of time... :(

Hence I ended up being 40mins late for work. And that's my Mon morning...

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Friday, April 4, 2008

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Joshua 22:5

"But take careful heed to do the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways, to keep His commandments, to hold fast to Him, and to serve Him with all your heartand with all your soul.”

The heart is a muscular organ responsible for pumping blood through the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions, or a similar structure in the annelids, mollusks, and arthropods. The term cardiac (as in cardiology) means "related to the heart" and comes from the Greek καρδία, kardia, for "heart."The heart of a vertebrate is composed of cardiac muscle, an involuntary muscle tissue which is found only within this organ. The average human heart beating at 72 BPM, will beat approximately 2.5 billion times during a lifetime spanning 66 years.

The soul, according to many religious and philosophical traditions, is the self-aware essence unique to a particular living being. In these traditions the soul is thought to incorporate the inner essence of each living being, and to be the true basis for sapience, rather than the brain or any other material or natural part of the biological organism. Some religions and philosophies on the other hand believe in the soul having a material component, and some have even tried to establish the weight of the soul. Souls are usually considered to be immortal and to exist prior to incarnation. The concept of the soul has strong links with notions of an afterlife, but opinions may vary wildly, even within a given religion, as to what may happen to the soul after the death of the body. It also shares as a PIE root of spirit.

The HEART is something that we need to have to live this life on this earth. The SOUL is linked to the spirit realm (things in the unseen).

So what does it mean for us to serve God with all our HEART and SOUL?

We do not just have actions, our motivations must be right. We do not just have thoughts or intentions, we need to put our faith to real works.

Sometimes when we go through storms in life, the very natural tendency is for us to wanna run away, to keep to ourselves. What if we fall sick? Spiritually, Emtionally, Physically? What does the Bible say?

James 5:13"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray..."

Learn to pray For Yourself.

James 5:14"Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him..."

Share with your spiritual leaders and get them to pray On Your Behalf.

Many times we choose either, but let's do BOTH so that there is Power in Agreement. Cos evidently the Bible continues with

James 5:15-16"And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."

Dun keep things to yourself cos that is not the Bible way. Learn to share with your spiritual family, your spiritual leaders and God will raise you up even if you have sinned. You shall be healed!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Last night after ZM, I went with a unique group of people for fellowship. Ok not that they were really unique, but it was my first time hanging out with them. We went to eat Rochor Road Bean Curd at Selegie Road area after our YMCA meeting.

The Cast:They all drove (or have a license, except for Paige).They are all older than me (except for Paige).They are all males (except for Paige and myself).More than half of them are married or going to get married in the near future.

I seriously wonder why Paige blends in so well with them since she's the only "outstanding" one.

But then again, it was strangely FUN! *hahaha*

I laughed so hard that I cried. Not to mention the free ride home... But my runny nose started at the same time probably cos I caught a cold at that time...

All thanks to W.Chan-dra... *hahaha*

I discovered that some of them are really quite erhm weird. They actually LOVE Hindi movies so much that they buy DVDs of them and even keep their songs in their iPod!!! Seeing the way they rattle off the movie names, actors / actresses' names, song names as if they are talking about Andy Lau or Jet Lee or Jacky Chan really makes me wonder what people really do in their spare time...

Quem sou eu

The girl's name is of Celtic origin.
Mythology: the name of a Celtic maiden in a Welsh tale, a Legendary Princess. In Celtic legend, Sabrina was the character who gave her name to the river Severn (in England).