Thursday, December 1

*photos in this post {except the ones above} were taken by our amazing Midwife/nurses. We didn't ask them to. But we'll never be able to thank them enough for just picking up our camera and documenting these first moments for us. Such an unexpected gift.

I went into early labor 9 days before Everett was born. The night the contractions started, we were at home with pizza and a funny movie. By the time the movie was over, my contractions had been painful and 5 minutes apart for over an hour. Because of the movie, I ended up laughing my way through them. Sounds nice. Not actually recommended. Ouch. I was only at the end of 35 weeks, so the sudden contractions came as a complete surprise. I had a feeling that he would come early, but I didn't think it was going to be THIS early. Regardless, we decided to head in to the birthing center to see what was going on just in case this was IT. I've never seen Tyson move so quickly. The ultimate cliche daddy-to-be ... running all over the house, stumbling into his clothes, grabbing items for our hospital stay and stuffing them into a duffel bag while I tried to relax in the bathtub. Every few minutes he would run downstairs to check on me and kiss me and tell me how excited he was. Though we were both telling ourselves, "there is no WAY." Finally I got dressed and off we went to the Birthing Center.

We stayed there until 4am on the monitors. My contractions were indeed regular and intense, but I was only dilated 1 cm, so they sent us home. And thus the 9 days of labor began. Painful contractions, 5-7 minutes apart for that period of time can do a number on ya. There was not much sleeping, a lot of breathing, a lot of trying to relax and a lot of walking. Sometimes I would lay down, but when your body's working and shifting and contracting that hard, laying still seems like the worst kind of torture. It felt good to move my hips, so I spent my days on the birthing ball and {with the approval of my midwife} finding excuses to walk. Anywhere. Pacing my living room floor, at the grocery store where I would bend over my cart /my mom to breath during contractions or bundling up in sweats and walking the neighborhood at night. More than a few times, this is where I would cry under the street lamps and emphatically inform Tyson that I could not do it anymore. That I was so tired. That I would give anything just to get this baby the heck out of me. That I was sure I was going to die by contractions. He held me and simply told me that he loved me and that I could do it. I told him he could have the next one.

My mom came up that week. She got me through. While Tyson was at work, she made me tea and gave me back rubs and cooked me two steaks a day with lots of vegetables to help keep my iron levels up. Could not have done it without her emotional and physical support that week. Thank you mama. I love you.

Finally, it was time for my next midwife appointment. I was 36 weeks. By that time, I'd been laboring for a week and was about ready to punch someone if they told me I hadn't made any progress. Luckily, I had. 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced. I actually could have kissed the woman. That meant that as soon as my contractions got closer together, it was going to be baby time! It didn't seem real. 3 more days went by. I was 36 weeks and 5 days. It was the worst kind of waiting game. With no changes in sight, I pretty much resigned myself to be in that laboring state for the next 3 weeks. Until Saturday night, October 29th at 8pm when I went to the bathroom and discovered that birth was imminent. Not two minutes later, the contractions hit hard. 1-2 minutes apart and 4 minutes long. This was it! Hallelujah!

While Tyson rushed around the house {again} gathering our last minute hospital items, I sat on my birthing ball, put my headphones in, listened to my hypnobirthing relaxation scripts and tried to get a handle on the pain. I had trained for this for months. I had real-life practice for 9 long days. I was desperate to meet my little boy. I was ready.

When we got to the Birthing Center, I was checked at 5 cm, 100% effaced and immediately admitted. Because Everett was coming 2 days prior to 37 weeks, as we got to our room they hooked me up to a wireless monitor to measure my contractions and a heart monitor for baby. I changed into my robe, turned on my music and tried to relax. I breathed. And sometimes made strange, loud noises that not even I recognized. Tyson didn't leave my side. He whispered constant encouraging affirmations, let me squeeze his hand until I'm sure his fingers nearly fell off and filled my constant request for more Popsicles, more juice and more water.

It wasn't too long before I requested to get in the tub. That magical, blissful, gift-straight-from-heaven tub. I stayed there for most of my 13 hour labor. It was soothing. But the kind of soothing that's an ice pack for someone who's just had their arm chopped off. I can't really describe the pain I felt. It's one of those things you just have to experience. It was deep and powerful and consuming. It was this giant mountain in front of me - a mountain I was required to scale every 45 seconds. I had practiced my relaxation breath for months. And I had used it successfully for days during early labor. But I think that if Tyson hadn't been there to remind me of that, I could have altogether forgotten. He kept me on track. He did my breathing with me. He spoke positive affirmations. And told me that he loved me more than anything for bringing this life into the world. That was really sweet. I told him to be quiet. And then to go away so I could be alone with the pain in the bathroom.

It had been 9 hours.

At that point it was 5am and I wanted to know how far along I'd progressed. I was so tired. And from the intensity of my labor, I knew for sure I was at a 9 or a 10. Our midwife checked me. "You're doing so good" she said, "but you're still at at 7"

I cried. Sobbed actually. And got back in the tub as I met another contraction. And then even more. Suddenly it felt like something broke. The weight of the last 9 days came crashing down on me. The pain, the physical and emotional exhaustion. I was suddenly outside myself. So overcome by the pain, it felt as if I wasn't part of the experience anymore. The contractions were coming so quickly now and so intensely, I no longer had time to catch my breath and delve into relaxation anymore. And the thought that I still had 3 cm to go completely consumed me.

I remember yelling out, "I don't want to do this anymore! I can't focus! I can't breath! I'm DONE" I felt like I wasn't present in the experience. And I wanted so desperately to be. I sobbed harder. And then I literally begged on my knees for an epidural.

No one ever tells you that actually getting the epidural might be worse than just enduring the rest of labor. The anesthesiologist came in and essentially said to me "Here, now bend your hugely pregnant body waaaaay over, touch your nose to your knees and hold completely still through five horrible contractions while I shoot a 6 inch needle up your back." But oh you know? It actually was worth it. Half hour later, I could feel the contractions, but I wasn't consumed with the pain. And I got to sleep. SLEEEEP!! For a whole hour. And it was completely blissful. My body became calm and rejuvenated. Another hour later I was at a 10 and ready to push. Pushing was incredible. I could feel it. I could feel my sweet baby moving down. And I had the energy and state of mind to do it with him. I pushed for two hours. It was exhausting. But he started to crown. Between two contractions, I reached down and rubbed his soft little head. And immediately we heard his heart speed up on the monitor. It was the most rejuvinating moment. Suddenly I had all the energy in the world. He was so close and I wanted to meet him. NOW.

Finally, in the strangest combination of burning fire and rushing warmth, he was here. Tyson received him and all I heard was "oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh"

Tyson handed him to me and I was overwhelmed by the love I felt in that moment. I cried in pure bliss. This was him. This was the little person I had felt move and grow inside of me for the last 9 months. Who I had labored so long for. He was worth every second of the pain. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. And he was finally here. In my arms. Mine forever.

For the next two hours, I was not aware of much besides my little baby boy. I know that I finished the delivery and that the room bustled around us as the nurses cleaned up, but I really don't remember any of that. We were riveted by him. He didn't cry - just opened his eyes with this sweet little scrunchy face I'll never forget. Not 15 minutes after his birth, we were alone. The warm morning light leaked through the windows and I felt this peace settle around us. The three of us. Our little family. That moment shared together is too precious for words. But I don't think I've ever felt so much love in my life. I was sure my heart would burst.

My birth was everything I didn't know I wanted. I got to experience every side of labor. The side of "using relaxation and my birth breath" to get through 9 days and 9 hours, the side of "nevermind, my body's trying to kill me. I would rather yell really loudly right now, thank you", and the side of "ah. I'm back! I'm ME!! Bless you epi. I'm ready to meet my baby." It wasn't what I expected. It wasn't part of the plan. Pretty sure I should stop making those actually. But it turns out, it was exactly what I wanted. What we wanted. {Lemme tell you, I think Tyson might have actually been happier than I was when I decided to get the epidural.}
And of course, we had our happy ending - the little boy of my dreams. But then, I guess it's not the end at all.

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comments:

OMG....what a beautiful story....thank you so much for sharing it with all of us.....I remember my three labors, and although the pain wasnt even imaginable, the reward was instantaneous....wishing you and yours the Happiest of Holidays!!!

That's such an amazing story! And captured so beautifully in your photos.

My labor will be coming up any day now. All I do now is try to imagine the process, and I honestly can't imagine how it will be, but I know I will be overwhelmed and all too ready to see my little boy.

You just made me cry!! I'm usually not the person to get emotional but this was amazing to read and then to see you cry from joy just put me over the edge! I wish you all the best!! Thanks for sharing!

What an incredibly beautiful story! I actually got teary-eyed. I'm not a mother, but your story is making me look forward to the future...someday! I am so happy that you have been blessed with a wonderful husband and a healthy child. May the Lord continue to bless you for the rest of your lives. :)

Ok, I seriously teared up...I was blessed with an easier birth, and am pregnant with my 2nd, and it was absolutely beautiful reading your experience. And seriously, please tell me: how did you look so absolutely beautiful and perfectly groomed after all that?!?

I'm not going to lie, I definitely cried a little at this post. I can definitely tell you that's a first. And I can also definitely tell you that I've never been happier to have "birthing hips." I'm hoping that means I will not have to endure what you did. You're a strong lady. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story!! Those pictures are priceless.

Hi! I am just amazed how strong and amazing woman you are! Big hugs! I'm mummy-to-be in May 2012 from Poland. During reading your story I was sobbering... Gosh - can't wait to see my baby, to go throu this with my husband... And sooo lovely photos to remember this special day :)

I cried a little too! I delivered our sweet baby boy 18 days ago not far from you in Baltimore and I can relate to every emotion that you expressed. Especially the love of a well placed epidural!! Congratulations to Everette Stone! He is so beautiful! I love reading your blog! You have a beautiful family!!

Wow, this is so incredible! Thanks for your honest perspective. I've heard more horror stories about giving birth than anything else, but your story is real and honest and says it's worth it at the end of the day. And 9 days - you are so brave! Actually brave doesn't cover it, you are Wonder Woman!

Thanks for sharing your story - it was absolutely beautiful. Hats off to you for going through that for 9 days. I was in labor for 2 hours and thought I was going to die! Things went too fast for me to get the epidural though. Also - how nice of the nurses to document everything. Tys and your mom are AWESOME - you're blessed to have such an awesome support network. This made my morning!

You are a powerhouse! 9 hours. You are so strong! I have to say, I am glad you decided to get the epidural. Heavenly Father didn't bless us with medicine for nothing! Ha. No, I think its great if people have the desire to go natural, but seriously, epidurals are HEAVEN SENT. I did hypnobirthing with my first, but when things didn't go as "planned" I ended up getting an epidural. I remember feeling so guilty (which is so dumb) but when I got it I was on cloud 9. I felt like ME (and not a crazy lunatic screaming woman) and felt like I could really enjoy and soak in the moment of having my baby. Everything went so much smoother. I was relaxed and my body could more easily do its thing. Its very rare for your "plan" to actually follow through, thats why I think its better just to not have one. Still, the information you learn in hypnobirthing classes can be so beneficial regardless and can apply to so many other areas in life. I'm so glad you had such an amazing birth experience. Having a baby is a feat in and of itself regardless of how the little one enters the world. Its amazing. And life changing!

Before reading this i was against getting an epidural when ever my turn came for the fear of missing out on the whole experience... but now that i know that's definitely not the case and that I will be very much "present" it's definitely an option now. Thanks for sharing love!

I love birth stories. They always make me cry. Girl, you are a rock start for going as far as you did naturally. I did 20+ hrs of natural labor( I stayed stuck in transition of 8-9 for 7 hr) till I had the epi. It was not in my "plan" but it was what I needed to do. Beautiful story and pictures. Congrats!

What an amazingly written, beautiful story. It brought tears to my eyes, thank you for sharring. I look forward to having the same rush of emotions one day. Also, you look beutiful in all of the pictures lady.

Sydney,Thank you so very much for sharing your beautiful story with us all. It literally brougt tears of happiness to my eyes. What a perfect way for you to forever remember those moments with the two people you love the most. Enjoy each and every moment. Brenna

What a beautiful birth story, thank you for sharing! Your pictures made me cry, they really show every emotion, they are amazing. That was such a precious gift to have those taken. I have three kids now, and no pictures like that (kinda jealous!) blessings to you, those early weeks are hard, but so special.

Oh what a beautiful, moving birth story!! Goodness you are a fighter!...I can't imagine going through labor for over 9 days. It hurt my heart to read about your pain, but I loved reading that you so wanted to be in the experience & embrace it all. And what a blessing modern medicine is! So glad the epidural (though not in your plan) was there to give you comfort and relief and sleep to rejuvenate you to finish getting your precious boy into your arms :) Thank you for sharing your experience!!

xoxoHaley

PS - and the photos...I've looked over them 3 times already :) SO incredible and precious.

Here I am a big blubbering mess. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story and feelings. I'm getting ready to deliver #2 in about six weeks and ready to feel that love again you portrayed so beautifully!

absolutely beautiful Sydney. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm in the waiting room waiting to finish my glucose screening in my 29th week as we await the arrival of our little boy. It was everything I could do to keep from crying in front of a bunch of strangers. What a touching story and what a wonderful keepsake these pictures are.

omg. that was a beautiful story. you had me in happy tears. i wish you and your little family the best. enjoy him at this age...by the time you know it..he is 4 and ready to go to school...just like mine!

What a beautiful birth story. Reminds me of how I felt when I had Jacob!! Congratulations again! I hope you are loving ever little minute with him! I can't believe I haven't even seen him or held him! Can't wait till we get back from Germany so I can hold him!

aaaand your story made me cry! Thank you so much for sharing, Sydney. I know it was a deeply personal and beautiful experience and I appreciate your transparency and willingness to share with all of us!

i am holding back tears right now only because i'm reading this at work. but if i weren't here, i'd be fully crying by now. i haven't had the chance to be pregnant and experience this wonderful part of life yet, but i feel it's coming soon, and i cannot wait to have this. to feel this and write the birth story of my own baby. so so sweet. thank you for sharing.

Oh Syd! I felt so much for you reading this - you have no idea how much i understand what you went through, because your story is so very similar to mine (not quite so many active labour days mind you - you are a trooper). And I'm so happy to hear you kept an open mind about the epi. Honestly, i went in the same, absolutely determined to not have one, but in the end accepting one after 18 hours of hard work, and being so grateful for modern medicine!

I'm so proud of the amazing work you did bringing your little sweetheart into the world!!! Thanks for sharing your wonderful story hun :)

Thank you so much for sharing this story with us...it was absolutely beautiful and I'm sure it wasn't easy to put everything you were feeling all those weeks (and especially THE day) into words. This story will be such a precious thing to keep forever, though - and reading it made me feel like MAYBE I could even do this someday. Lots of love to you + your family. kristin

Aw, this made me want to hug you!This is beautiful and you did a great job! I went into labor with my boy thinking I'd do it without an epideral, but then it hurt so much and I was so tired that I just had to get it. It did suck getting it too... having to bend over when I was in the worst of the pain AND stay perfectly still! I wasn't sure it was possible and then my epideral an hour later wore off...it was horrid! I ended up having to have a c-section because baby boy wasn't moving and thats when the meds they gave me actually worked! Hooray for being able to change our minds and for meds!

P.S. These pictures are beautiful! Who knew you not only had a midwife, but someone who took professional photos too! And you look so beautiful in them!

Ohhhh those two pictures of when you first held him crying made ME CRY! How absolutely sweet and amazing that your midwives took these pictures for you guys! And you know - I think each woman and each labour have their own path. I am impressed by all the women who have natural births, but if your mind and spirit are saying 'modern medicine please' - well, we have the luxury to choose that, and thank God for that.

THAT was amazing. And those photos are perfect. Thanks for making me just cry while sitting at my desk at work :) AND that dream post has inspired me to start journaling. That's important stuff. Congrats.

You are a perfect example of when an epidural is a good thing! When you are so tired and can't go on...that epidural prpbably saved your vaginal birth. Much better than being so exhausted that you can't push that sweet baby out. Thanks for sharing your story!

You did it! Congratulations. I think you did a beautiful job. So often when I'd be a a birth and a client would choose an epidural, the husband would weep with relief. :) Those daddies do such good work. Congratulations to your family.

This is the most beautiful story I have ever read. You and your little family are truly admirable, and you are such a strong lady. I've followed your whole pregnancy, and you have stayed gracious and beautiful throughout. Way to go, miss, you deserve this amazing blessing that you helped bring into life.

I just wanted to let you know that your birth story just made me really excited to have my baby, I'm only 17 weeks, and have been feeling kind of unsure of what I'm getting myself into, but reading your story was a good reminder that having a child is all for them, and that makes me really excited.

Truly, the most beautiful Birth Story I've ever read. Trust me, I've read and seen A LOT. After two years of trying, infertility treatments, and now just letting life happen I know when it finally DOES, this is how I would pray my story turned out. You express you love of motherhood so beautifully and truly deserve every happiness that precious baby brings the two of you! Congratulations and Thank You for sharing!!

I have never commented but LOVE your blog! I just wanted to drop a little note letting you know you're not alone. Your experience sounds so similiar to mine it's crazy! For my first (born at 36 wks), I did the 3-7 min contactions for a week until my water broke, then they piggyback on top of eachother. Then pushed for 2 hours. 3 weeks with my second (37 wks) but pushed once. Your baby is absolutely beautiful. You deserve and have earned every ounce of this sweet little blessing and special spot in heaven!

Oh my goodness I'm tearing up! I love everything about this post, congratulations again! Are you sure though that the people inside were midwives and nurses and not professional photographers? These pictures, especially the stolen shots are gorgeous! You all look lovely :) Thanks for sharing this!

What an amazing story! I was crying while reading it and my daughter came over and asked me why i was cry? and i told because i was reading something so beautiful i couldnt help but cry!you inspire me in so many ways!

Such a beautiful, beautiful birth story. In your first role of motherhood, you demonstrated how you are willing to adjust your plan as needed to fit the situation instead of letting your plan dictate to you and rob you of your joy in the moment. Way to be flexible and adapting!! You will need that skill for motherhood and I think I speak for all of your blog followers when I say "Soooo sooo sooo PROUD of you and yours!!"Have a merry Christmas and enjoy your precious family!Oh, and all the pictures are beautiful, but that last one.Omgosh. Adorbs.

Such a beautiful birth story. I always find myself teary eyed and reminiscent of my labor and deliveries while reading others' stories. AND after that many days and hours in labor, you look absolutely gorgeous in those photos! Congratulations on your little bundle of joy, he is too handsome for words.

Syd, this is such a beautiful, moving story! You write wonderfully; I felt as though I was practically there. You're such a strong, incredible woman for getting through 9 days+ of labor! I can't tell you how amazing (and terrifying) I find that. Your son is absolutely beautiful, and y'all just look so cute together. Congrats to Ty for surviving the experience, as well!

Just out of curiosity; were the nurses the ones taking all of the pictures throughout the birth? They're absolutely lovely!

beautiful story. i just had my first this year too - a precious little boy - in august. birth is an incredible process. isn't it funny how it doesn't matter what our plan is? that God has one that is better than ours? congrats! :)

Thank you for sharing your beautiful birth story!! You had me in tears from the beginning and then seeing you holding your precious little boy for the first time, I was sobbing! You're a strong, strong momma for enduring 9 days of labor!! But I'm sure after you saw his little face, it was all worth it.

Sydney this is a beautiful story and I am so glad that you shared it with us. You are an amazing woman and will be a wonderful mother. I have had three kids and you think that the nostalgia would wear off by baby three, but each birth was as different as my three kids. I loved them from before birth and I know just what you mean. Buckle up lady cause you are gonna have the best moments of your life with this little bundle. Before you know it, he'll be at the stage of writing his own name (like my four year old daughter) and amazing you all over again. Or reading a chapter book and having you guess ever five minutes what page he's on because he's so pumped about it (like my six year old son). Or he'll be comforting his younger siblings as they cry with a gentle supporting arm over their shoulders (like my eleven year old son). Everett will continue to amaze you everyday and you will never believe how much joy and love you will get from them. Congrats to you and savor every single minute.

I love how real you describe your birth experience. I felt as if I was going through it myself! You always hear the good side to pregnancy and births but thank you for keeping it real through out the whole process. One day when hubs and I are ready, I will remember your story to help me relax. -JB.

Thank you sooo much for sharing your birth story. I am so honored you shared your true feelings and pains that you went through and that you didn't make it seem like it was all roses when it wasn't. Although, I wish it had been for you ;) Can't wait to see more pics of little Everett Stone.

what an incredible story. you're a strong mama! you and tyson have such a profound connection, you can see it in every picture and throughout your story. there is no doubt it anyone's mind you two are the perfect parents to raise a strong, adorable little boy.

Heavens, you painted such a beautiful picture of your birthing experience. I don't normally comment but your words about your experience were so moving I just had to tell you.You make such a lovely mother & I'm sure your lil boy will be quite content with you both as parents. Its evident that love fills your home. Congratulations on making it through.Now for the rest of the story. Let it begin ;)

I am an OB nurse and I have seen PLENTY of women decide last minute to change their natural plan and get an epidural! I give major props to those who can go the whole way, but I know I couldnt! It is amazing to see the difference of the patients after an epidural...so much more relaxed, happy, and joyful! Don't beat yourself up, the great thing is you tried! :)

I cried reading this. Your story is amazing, and the support from your husband, inspiring. Congratulations, again, on your wonderful little gift. May he grow up knowing how much his mommy went through to bring him into this world, and how much she loved doing it!

oh man... i teared up reading this... such a beautiful story! and I totally was curious on how the water birthing thing went- thanks for sharing the excruciating pain and the final need for the epi (: these pictures are beautiful- I can't believe your midwife was so talented behind the camera (:

Amazing story! Aren't our bodies so incredible. I also loved the birthing ball and the tub-so relaxing being in the water! As for the noises- too funny! When your in the situation you don't even think about the noises! Great Story! Thanks for sharing! Shay :)http://raisingdieter.blogspot.com/

That was amazing and sweet and brought me to tears, thank you so very much for sharing this with us. Have you ever thought about writing? You're very good at it!!! All the best to your new little family.

thank you for sharing!! it was a beautiful story with beautiful pictures. you are quite amazing, but we all learn that after we birth our babies. and let me tell you, you hold onto that man of yours. he is amazingly supportive!! congrats, and you are so georgous!!!

The story of Everett Stone is beautiful and breathtaking. The whole process of birthing is beautiful, magical, and unpredictable. I am so happy that you decided to share your story with us. He is one lucky baby with two loving doting parent. I can't wait to read more as your son grows up. Best of luck to the both of you. xoxo

Ok. I love this whole post. I was just reading and then when I saw the pic of you crying holding him for the first time, I cried!! You are a very talented writer and a super STRONG mother. Congratulations to you and Tys! So excited for your family. :)

i totally teared up and i don't like hearing about birthing stories because they scare the bejeebers outta me but yours was lovely. i'm so sorry you had to go through so much to bring your little boy into this world but i'm glad he's here now and i'm glad you're both okay.

this is absolutely beautiful. what a blessing to have these pictures taken by your midwife and nurses. you are such a strong woman and have never looked more beautiful!! congrats again to you and tyson... everett is so precious!

Congratulations! you both look so beautiful and healthy, it is obvious the love that all three of you have for each other. it may be silly but i love that he didn't cry instantly! like he was just happy to see you both or something. (maybe he was just as happy to be done with the 9+ days of labor as you were haha) congratulations again! it's a very touching post that has calmed my heart as i go into labor in a few months. thanks for sharing.

Sydney, what a beautiful post. While it seems like labor can be the most traumatizing experience ever it seems to be the most gratifying as well.

I know they say men have no clue what it's like to go through labor but I don't know what some would do without them there through all the screaming, contractions, etc. You're husband seems like he was a great supporter through it all :) I'd say our guys are an essential part of a successful birth.

Although, I have yet to have a child or be married this post makes me excited to experience both of those things.