Buying, Transporting, Hiding, Using, and Disposing of Diapers

I've been seeing some posts on problems with buying diapers, and i the past I've seen posts on hiding them and getting them to your house in the first place. Well, I've decided to try my hand at explaining my suggestions throughout the process of buying, transporting, hiding, using, and disposing of diapers. Let's get started.

Buying
Contrary to popular paranoia (remember, just cause you think people are out to get you doesn't mean they aren't) buying diapers is remarkable easy. I've been able to buy a pack of goodnite while my mom was in the same store, and it was a store out of town that I had never been to before and we went in the same truck. It's not that hard. First off, know how much the diapers or goodnites or whatever your going to get are. You really don't want to get to checkout to find out you're a quarter short. To solve this, bring about 5 dollars extra. If a pack is $19.99, bring $25. Second, know how large the package is. You can find this out by just looking at the package, and you don't even have to pick it up or anything. Just guesstimate the size. Now, get to the store to get the padding. If you have a car, this is really no problem, or if it is, leave a comment and I'll try to help. If you don't have a car, look to see if there's a store within walking or biking distance, and if there's not, look for a store near somewhere you might go. Before I could drive I would ask my parents to drop me off at a book store that was neighboring a Walgreens. I'd simply go into the book store, walk around a bit, and then go to the Walgreens, get to padding, and go back to the bookstore to wait for my parent. If you do this, you need to be aware of time. Despite the conception that nervousness makes time go slower, when you have a deadline it seems to make it go 90 miles an hour.

Now, onto actually buying the diapers. Once you're at the store, and small pharmacies are the best, do a quick walk around to make sure there's no one in there that knows you from school, work, etc. Once this is done, grab a basket, not a cart, and go straight to the baby isle or incontinance isle. Remember, you don't need any mission impossible music and you don't need to climb though any air-vents. All you're doing is buying something from a store, and acting nervous and like you're trying to hide will make people MORE likely to pay attention to you and what you're getting. Act natural, and you might as well be wearing Harry's invisibility cloak. If you disagree, then just think about this. When was the last time you looked at what someone was buying and really thought about it? For the great number of you, unless you saw diapers in someone's cart, you didn't give a second look or a second thought. You also don't need to buy anything else. It's not a crime to just buy diapers, and it's also not suspicious unless you're acting suspicious. If someone is buying something and acting normal, most aren't going to give you the light of day. If you're blushing, ducking down isles, and trying to hide what you have like it's the Holy Grail.... well, people are going to be more apt to notice and even say something. Once you get what you came there for walk calmly, nonchalantly to the cashiers. Now, a lot of people worry about the cashier saying something, but to be completely honest I don't think they could give less of a f*ck. You are another customer to them, and if they've been working there long enough they've seen it all. If you really think you need it just keep the "I'm donating it to my church which is collecting donations for the senior home." card in your back pocket. If it's a pack of goodnite, just replace "senior home" with "children's home" or something like that. Though you probably won't need this ace in the hole ever. Anyway, when you get to the cashier, just give them your basket, they'll scan the items, then pay, then smile and say thank you, the leave. That's all. Once you leave the store, put your purchase in whatever bag you brought, and now we're on to getting that padding you just got home.

Transporting
Ok, you have your precious padding, now you need to get it home. Again, if you have a car this shouldn't be a problem and you can just skip down to hiding, but if you don't have a car, this can be a bit tricky. If you biked to the store or walked, this shouldn't be a problem, since you can just go back home. If you were driven by your parents, go to where you were picked up, try to make your bag look as inconspicuous as possible, and for the love of all that is good ACT CALM AND DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE HIDING ANYTHING! If you do this, you're parents are almost guaranteed to pick up on it, and even if they don't talk to you at the time, they may decide to look in your room later. Just act normal and take your bag in, getting it into your room as fast and as inconspicuous as possible. Now the hard part is over, so on to hiding.

Hiding
Hiding can be a bit difficult but it should be all planned out before you even have your hands on a package. If you don't plan ahead, it can go a bit bad for you. Some of my favorite hiding places are also some of the more simple. If you have an xbox, wii, laptop, etc, and you kept the box you can always fit a few in there, and most won't even look in there. Some furniture has little cubbyholes and hiding places, so you can always fit a few in there. Closets are usually chockfull of hiding spaces, and there's always places that not everyone has and ones that you may have. It is usually best, however, to hide your padding in one place so you can easily toss it if you need to. It also means there are less opportunities to get found out. Hiding is all dependent on the person and your situation. If you have parents who (you think) never search your room, then you don't have to hide as well as someone who's parents search their room on a weekly basis. Now that you've got your stash hidden, it's time to learn how to use and dispose of your padding.

Using and Disposing of
You need to do a few things before getting padded up. 1. Learn when garbage goes out. 2. Get a plastic bag and a trash bag. 3. Figure out when your parents are going out or when you'll have enough free, private time to pull this off. Once you have these things done, then you can get padded and enjoy (remember to lock the door if you can, and if anyone asks why it's locked just say you were changing). Once you're gone with your padding it's time to dispose. If you haven't used it you only have to put it into a trash bag and make sure you hide or toss it. If you wet it then you need to tie it up as best you can, and with as little air as possible, in the plastic bag, then put it into the garbage as soon as possible. If you've messed it, then you need to tie it up in a plastic bag, then tie it up in another plastic bag with 3 dryer sheets in it. Then put it in the trash bag and throw it away immediately. Unless you are 100% sure you can, never keep used diapers where they can be found. It's a lot worse if used diapers are found instead of clean ones.