Valdez: Naming baby: Stop parental wrongs

A Tennessee judge’s decision to change a baby’s name from Messiah to Martin got the Constitution thumpers at the American Civil Liberties Union riled up about free speech, freedom of religion and that old-American ideal of equal justice.

That’s good. Government is supposed to be theology-neutral.

But what about the kid?

If you doubt that a name can come to define a person in unflattering ways, consider Anthony Weiner.

OK. It was the potential for blasphemy, not sexting, that concerned Tennessee Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew.

She changed Messiah’s name because “the word messiah is a title, and it’s been earned by one person, and that one person is Jesus Christ.” Amen, Sister!

But wait. She’s running a courtroom, not a tent revival.

The stuff about earning one’s title is pure obfuscation. Did anyone check the royal certification on Queen Latifah or Prince? Raise your hand if you remember King Donovan.

This was about religion. One religion. In a nation of many.

Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Pagans, Buddhists and other non-Christians aren’t seeking a born-again experience when they go to court. Neither are atheists.

The mother of the Baby Formerly Known as Messiah, says, “I didn’t think a judge could make me change my baby’s name because of her religious beliefs.”

She’s appealing the decision.

Ballew’s inability to separate her religious views from her role as a judge is offensive. But the issue of giving kids dumb names shouldn’t get lost in the outrage. Johnny Cash’s song about “A Boy Named Sue” comes to mind.

On a more scholarly note, Slate magazine’s Dahlia Lithwick wrote a piece citing a 2011 article by University of California-Davis law professor Carlton F.W. Larson on “Naming Baby: The Constitutional Dimensions of Parental Naming Rights.”

The professor says the right to name your child is fundamental under the First and Fourteenth Amendments, but the government has an interest in protecting children from “abusive names.” This tender balance has not been fully sorted out by the courts.

If Baby Messiah becomes the test case, the focus will be on parents’ rights rather than the plight of kids with dingbat names. After all, his name wouldn’t offend most people.

But this isn’t just about a judge who is clueless to the fact that modern America has more diverse religious beliefs than in Puritan times.

Larson’s horror stories of names include Adolf Hitler Campbell, whose father was turned away from a New Jersey bakery in 2008 when he tried to get his kid’s name on a birthday cake. Adolf and his siblings (also named for Nazis) were subsequently removed from the home because of the parents’ physical and psychological disabilities.

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