Mar 11, 2013- All-Con Show/Con Report!!!

Hey everybody, Jason here, and I’ve got the task of trying to encapsulate 72 hours of crazy convention action into one show report. Why was I picked? Because I was sober, and thus have a decent chance of remembering things. First up, Friday night’s lineup:

So it’s All-Con, which means a) we drink a lot, b) we do a lot of musical numbers before the show, c) we drink a lot. This year, we had four big ass musicals to work in before we started preshow proper. Kicking it off was El Bastardo del Grande, Alex with Fett’s Vette. Now, if you’re an All-Con regular, you know that we play Fett’s Vette every year, because nerds love mc chris. However, this year, Alex got hold of a lyricless track of a swank remix of the song, so he rapped it live onstage. Backed by a pair of dancing Slave Leias, he rocked the mic, but thankfully did not *micdrop* at the end, because those things cost monies.

Next preshow was an old favorite, in possibly it’s farewell performance, Soccer Practice. Boys in towels, featuring Sean as the Gay Pimp, plus Jon, Snow, Cody, and Jeremy (aka Dopplecody).

Afterwards, the premiere of a new preshow, Katy Perry’s “Peacock”, choreographed by Leah, and featuring June, Rachel, Renny, Heather, Jenny, and Pete. If you like girls in corsets and booty shorts, or are just a closet Pete stalker, you will want to see this once it goes up on YouTube.

Finally was Sexy and I Know It, a preshow we’ve done a few times before, but now with a last-minute inclusion of Alex! Also with Cody, Jon, Snow, and Sean. Featuring lots of squealing, five ruined t-shirts, and even a little something for the Dragonball Z enthusiast.

With preshow done, it was time for preshow. Alex and I (Jason) took the stage to power through rules, then Leah’s sexy bottom came up to announce a few things…in our pants. Snow brought some virgins up to demonstrate their favorite sex positions (with some Bastard assistance), and then we made eeeeeeeverybody pledge their allegiance to the flick (and Joss Whedon).

Movie time!!!

Movie things happened. Britt’s last show was commemorated by Gus dipping his naked balls on Britt’s face during bedroom scene. So that was a thing. Adrienne’s jugs were all over the place, but the nipples were covered by her custom “L” and “B” pasties, so it was still family friendly. Bring the kids! Megaaaan came up for her birthday weekend and to Transie for us! Pete horriflighted us with a bodystocking hiding under his Dr. Scott outfit. Derby girls were there and mauling Cody while he was in the audience. Famous Hollywood Person Camden Toy was there to see us, and Jenny Toy’d with his face during Superheroes. And probably a lot of other things too!

Then we had a kickass suite party with 300 or so jello shots, plus Pete’s homebrewed beer and Leah’s lethal alcohol punch. The playlist never stopped being baller, and we kept it going until 5:30 in the AM. Yes, we didn’t get shut down by security this year! Well done!

The rest of the weekend was a blurrrrr…early afternoon hottubbing with the other 300 jello shots, lots of bikinis being pulled down or to the sides, lots of jello shots tossed at our brand new friends, and no property damage! Then we invaded the Londoner to get our salt and starch base before an evening of more drinking. Alex and I recorded the post-show podcast, featuring a few Bastard guests, and then we watched the rain and wandered around the hotel, checking out gatherings, giving alcohol to more new friends, and generally just enjoying being people who like people. Finally, we had a private scotch and cigars Harumphing party in the rain, and around 4am, we called it a night.

And then Sunday we dragged ourselves out of bed, went home, and slept it off.

Thanks to All-Con for always being such a fun con and for giving us so much love. Thanks to the LosBians who follow us to road shows. Thanks to hotels who don’t mind open bands of drinking Bastards (or the other nerds either). And thanks to you, brave Japanese radiation factory workers. You are the real heroes.