December 2017 Babies

Does the worry ever stop?

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DinkRose wrote:

I'm 16.5 weeks, I use the doppler every day, and yet I'm still worried that something is wrong. After 2 miscarriages, I just have a hard time believing that things will go right. I have a 20 week can coming up and I might schedule an elective ultrasound just for peace of mind. Does the worry ever go away?:/ If I hear the heartbeat everyday, that can be a good indicator that things are going fine right?

Everything is fine with the baby, especially since you can hear that sweet heartbeat! The more you stress the more the baby can feel that. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but just try to relax and appreciate this little one you're carrying.

I had a miscarriage myself, I understand it can be terrifying. What I do is try to breathe, and remember that this is my rainbow baby! I live in the moment and try not to think to hard about the past.

I don't think it ever stops. I'm in the same boat as you, I've had two previous miscarriages and I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant. I worry everyday, this pregnancy has not been easy at all. I bled for three weeks because of a sch and in the beginning I was really sick. Bleeding finally stopped and I went to the doctor at 17 weeks and they couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler. Come to find out I have an anterior placenta and he had to do an ultrasound but her heartbeat was staring and she was moving up a storm. I'm currently on steroids for a skin condition that I have and I have those days where I don't feel pregnant at all. I wish I was still sick to give me a peace of mind. You just have to stay prayed up! Every time something has happen and I get an ultrasound my baby is ok. Try not to stress out about it. I know it's easier said than done but I mostly just pray and so far everything has been ok. I go for my anatomy scan tomorrow and I can't wait to see my baby girl. It's normal to feel the way u do.

I'm sorry to hear that your pregnancy has been so stressful. I also had a SCH and had 3 different episodes of bleeding which were terrifying. The baby was always fine as well. I'm so glad you get to see your baby girl tomorrow:)

Nope don't think the worry ever goes away. I'm an adult with my own family and my mom still calls here and there to make sure I'm doing ok with my pregnancy and see if we need anything:) and always tells us they pray for our safety and health

I don't think worry ever goes away, but you can change how you respond to it, and sometimes that can even make it less and less. That's what I've been working on after my miscarriage. I was tempted to do extra ultrasounds, get a home Doppler, etc, but ultimately I think that would have made me stress more. Maybe you could try waiting a couple of days between checking the HB and see how you feel? The more you are able to stay calm in the face of a few hours or a couple days of unknown, the more positive feedback that will give you and you may be able to go longer and longer without worrying as much.

It's difficult though, that's for sure. When we were trying after MC, and it took a LONG time, I was obsessed with checking things: was my period starting? I'd have to go check and check and check. Was I pregnant? I'd take a ton of tests. And I worried and stressed and worried more. It seems like constantly checking things 'just so you know' will make you feel better but often it's the opposite. It wasn't until I hid all my tests at my sister's house and forced myself to check things less that I finally chilled out about the whole process. I'm taking the same approach to worries about pregnancy health: consciously not asking for any more testing than anyone without MC history would get; not getting a home Doppler; not trying to feel for movement every hour of the day. I really think that's why my worry level is super low these days. (But it's not like I figured out my solution on my own - this is months and months of therapy at work!)

I've lost two and I'm 19w with my third. It's not easy. Some people don't understand. One day at a time is a good policy. Distract yourself with projects. Focus on the positives and know that ultimately it's not in our control. I've had some bad days - where I wanted to leAve work early because of fear. I've been fighting through. Hugs! It's a challenge :-)

I'm struggling with this too. I think I have just read too much online and I'm traumatized by complications. I'm 18 weeks and I thought by now I would be better. Instead I'm worrying still and driving myself crazy with trying to do everything right, feeling guilty for any slip up and wishing time to go by. One day at a time as another responder said. I'm also looking into seeing a therapist who has experience in pregnancy anxiety.

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