Thursday, March 24, 2016

As El Duque has eloquently laid out for us, A-Rod, with all of his grace and insight, has announced that after two more years, at age 44, he will retire from MLB. And possibly from the Yankees, as well.

To all who learned to speak and read more than 500 words in the educational system of AMERICA, this is what we call, NOT NEWS.

It is news ( or would be ) if ALEX had declared,

" I am just not ...at age 42...the player I used to be. I am not providing any semblance of the value the Yankees saw ( blindly ) in me 8 years ago when I re-signed with them and, accordingly, I am going to retire now. I have made more money than anyone at the game of baseball. I will never have to cook a meal, mow a lawn, wash a dish or make a bed. I can't catch a baseball, throw a baseball, or run faster than a very old cow. And my bat speed is tanking...even as I sit on the bench, work with 6 personal trainers, and spit out pumpkin seeds thinking about who gets me for sex tonight. So, it is time now for me to saw farewell to the game. An early retirement ( from contract terms ) will be my gift to the Yankees who gave up their future for me. I will retire today and allow that team to re-build, rather than just stagger on with a bunch of non-productive, uninteresting, old goats."

Instead, A-Rod, thinking he was making a splash...a beau geste if you will.... , agreed ( at age 42 and barely able to run out a single to the gap) to stop playing for the Yankees at the end of 2017. The end of his contract. He yields neither one cent nor one day of his contract.

This means that, in Alex's distorted brain, he still believes ( as we sip our coffee this morning ) that the Yankees, and perhaps many of their rivals, would jump at the chance to sign him if he would only agree to keep playing.

Alex, no doubt, thinks this stunning announcement puts him in a class with Mariano and Derek. He wants to be loved and remembered as part of the great Yankees. He thinks that the headlines and talk shows following this revelation will be, " talking Alex and what he has meant to the game," for the next 700 days or so. In truth, he wants to give the Yankees time to fashion the pin-striped Net Jet as their parting gift to him on, Alex Rodriguez day in 2017.

I don't fault Alex for taking everything the stupid, brainless, visionless Yankees gave to him in a panic of horrid management and worse decision-making. I do fault him for trying to make it sound noble.