Why is Smoking Salvia Still Legal, Again?

Salvia is my new bitch lover. You smoke it like weed, but it's legal. Unlike weed though, one hit of Salvia doesn't make you giggle like a 12-year-old girl while watching Parental Control (which I have mass experience doing,) it lets you know that you are a fragile being, and that it's about to fuck you harder than most prison inmates would. (This is a guess though; I have no field experience when it comes to being fucked in prison, though I have seen The Shawshank Redemption 52 times.)

Basically my adventure that night started out with me turning into a blade of grass. That's right, a fucking blade of grass. It was one in the morning, and I was lying on the ground, thinking that chlorophyll was pumping through my body, and that I had been a blade of grass for roughly 15 years. The weird thing about it was the kid who owned the house said they planted all new grass about 15 years ago. I found that to be creepy.

I must say though, it was a calming feeling to be a blade of grass being tossed around in the wind with other blades of grass. I was just waving around, looking at other blades of grass, not giving a shit because I was grass. From what I've seen, I don't think grass really does anything all day but grow and wait to be cut. Then, out of nowhere, I got this feeling that something isn't right. It's like when you walk into your house and realize someone moved one piece of furniture, but you can't tell what it is. I thought for a second, "What could the problem be? I'm just doing what I always do." But I saw five kids just standing and staring at me. I knew these five kids somehow. They were laughing hysterically.

"Oh fuck, I'm a human being," echoed through my head. According to my friends, when I blade of grass realizes it's not a blade of grass, but a human, it starts to act like Terri Shiavo.

Spit dripped out of my mouth. I attempted to talk but I just moaned and more spit flew out. I was lying in a fetal position, with my eyes wide open, moaning like a dying animal. I tried to move my arms and legs, but seeing how I was a blade of grass, this was impossible. So I did what anyone would do: I attempted to cry. I admit it. Sadly, I would attempt to cry later in this trip also, because I am a bitch.

But the key word is "attempted," because I ended up with no tears—just echoes of laughter bouncing off me. I had to prove I was human. But how does one prove they are human and not a plant? Honestly, I didn't know then, and I sure as fuck don't know now.

My subconscious knew what to do though. I left that backyard entirely and was dropped into my memory, where I strolled around looking for proof I was human. I ended up at the first house I had ever lived in, only the occupants were not family, but random kids from high school, and they were screaming at me in German. I took German as a class for four years, but I didn't understand anything that left their mouths.

So I started walking, and ended up in the hallways of my high school. The people I hate most then surrounded me. "Am I a real boy?" I asked them. They responded in unison: "How do you know what is real?"

I became angry; I was not in the mood to debate philosophy. It made me hate these kids even more. I turned around and was staring into black somehow, and heard a voice tell me to come back to reality. I sat up, and looked around in a haze. My friends were still laughing, unaware I was still tripping face.

I attempted to ask what time it was, but failed. I repeated my jumbled words enough times and finally I was answered with 1:05 A.M. Apparently doing simple math on Salvia is near impossible, and because I used so much brain capacity I went right back into a fucked up trip. I watched my entire field of vision turn into a puzzle. A piece from the sky fell out and landed next to me. This was met by laughter from my friends, because apparently I screamed, "The sky is falling!"

Sample view from a casual observer's perspective.I was fascinated by it. The sky was falling. I watched my friends house fall to pieces, and everything was cool until a piece of my best friend's chest just plopped out and hit the ground with a thump. I stared at my friend; his arms, legs and head just formed out of a space of blackness. This was the second time I thought about crying, but failed again because I closed my eyes and laid on the ground. I kept them closed for ten minutes and shouted, "Fuck, I'm tripping way to fucking hard!" My friends proceeded to erupt with laughter, which didn't help at all.

During these ten minutes, with my eyes closed, I saw shapes and colors I had never seen before. It was like if you mixed black and white, but didn't get gray, you just ended up with something almost orange, but not orange, like it had a hint of green, but with no shade of yellow at all. It still baffles my mind to this day.

I'd do it again though. I have actually. I recovered normally, preached to everyone how insignificant we were, got called a fag, then came to my senses and realized I was being a douche.

All in all, I tripped for 15 minutes. I figure that's why Salvia is legal. You're pretty much stuck in one spot, and if a cop busted up the party, you'd get off the hook once you stopped tripping balls. I'm glad it's legal though. As fucked up as it makes you (it's like doing ten hits of acid at once), you feel amazing afterwards—like smoking three blunts to the face—something I also enjoy.

My plan now is to start doing it in public places—parks and playgrounds—then argue with people about how legal this shit is and to leave me alone. I'm not sure who would want their kids around anyone in that state anyway.

22 Comments

Well I tried the stuff a while back, took a good, deep hit of the pipe, that night I was high, drunk, and then did Salvia, best night ever btw...and all I got out of it was, my high went away, which was weird, and I wasn't drunk anymore, rather I was filled with extreme laughter, afterwards, I wasn't tripping, drunk, or high, but I was ultimately focused, the most I have ever been, things were just much clearer, I haven't had bad experiences with it so far. If you do do it, don't do it with stupid friends that laugh at you, I did it with friends that keep quite and let you trip, also if someone does talk, the trip is ruined lol, I say just take a light hit, it isn't weed, it's a little stronger lol...so one hit, no bad trip, just feel good, and stay quite and be around good friends.

I enjoyed salvia a lot from when i indulged in it. I enjoy tripping but it's expensive and tricky to find someone with good acid and after a while it gets annoying. So salvia is the better alternative.

The only thing i don't like about salvia is how harsh it is on the throat. But it is something to try if you're into achieiving a greater sense of being, spirituality or if you're curious about tripping (since it's very shorter and safer then acid)

Aren't you worried about how this stuff is affecting you? Both physically and socially? What about how it's affecting the people around you that love you?

The descriptions I'm reading about how it makes you feel are akin to severe schizophrenia episodes! Why anyone would want to distort reality to that degree is beyond my comprehension. I guess you musn't enjoy the reality you are living in that much if you feel that great a need to escape from it...

...try changing what you don't like about your life instead.

If you take something that makes you feel that crappy, it must be powerful addictive stuff to want to do it again man.

So what if this is legal? Would you trust the doctor taking your tonsils out if you knew he/she was doing this stuff on a regular basis?
PS: When you picture yourself in the future; do you see a family with kids? If so; do you see fun times ahead doing this stuff with your kids?

Hey, i'm not high right now, but i just had this super deep thought: if drugs are real, then why isn't being on drugs also part of reality? Why is it that people always assume drug-takers are escaping reality by doing drugs? What if they are discovering new realities? What if "get real" means "do drugs"? What if your brain on drugs is just your brain in an alternate dimension only accessible by manipulating your chemistry to allow for access to it - a chemistry that may be manipulated in the future by bioelectronics anyway? Are drugs so crazy or are people still so simple?

Well Salvia grows naturally and isn't actually altered in anyway. I decided at the age of 13 I would not be having a family due to the fact that I hate children and am not willing to let someone have the ability to take away half my shit at a moments notice. I also love everything about my life, there are no real negative side effects to Salvia. And the question about the doctor is pretty stupid. You wouldn't be able to take tonsils out if your on Salvia, and you are a functional human being after wards, so sure, I would let my doctor.

First of all, I want to agree with you that this is probably "beyond your comprehension", but I'm writing this just in case we're wrong. I assume that you've never had a psychedelic experience before so I'll take this opportunity to educate you on a few of your misconceptions...

Salvia like most natural hallucinogens (i.e. Psylocibin Mushrooms, DMT, Peyote, ect.) is non-addictive and relatively non-toxic, at least less toxic than nicotine, alcohol, caffine and aspirin.

Hallucinogens don't "distort" reality, they simply allow a person to experience reality differently. Two (sober) individuals can observe the same event, yet experience it completely differently. We perceive the world as we want to, or how we've been trained to perceive it, and through the use of psychedelics a person is able to see things from a new perspective.

Most psychedelics work by triggering your brain to release serotonin, dopamine, and/or dimethyltryptamine. All of which are naturally occurring in our bodies. These neurotransmitters play an important role in mood, motivation, pleasure, imagination, creativity and learning. These chemicals are normally at their highest concentration in our bodies when we are dreaming, but by taking a hallucinogen we are able to experience this daydream and get a glimpse of our sub-conscious, our deepest desires and motivations, all while seeing a light show Pink Floyd would be proud of, how fun!

It's also not a matter of "escaping reality" because we are unhappy with our lives. Personally I like my life and I'm a happy, productive member of society, that being said I do enjoy an escape from the day to day monotony that modern life is. Whether that escape is in the form of a good book or movie, a couple of drinks with friends, or the occasional salvia trip.

Also, salvia doesn't make one feel "crappy", it alters the user's perception of their environment, albeit drastically. When a person is put in a new and unfamiliar situation a certain amount of anxiety is to be expected. Does this mean that you should avoid new experiences simply because they might be unfamiliar, exciting or even frightening? What a boring life that would be, and concerning your argument about a doctor using salvia, I view that just as I would alcohol, or any other drug. What he does in his own time is his business, as long as he's not intoxicated while he's doing my surgery I have no problems with it.

PS: When I think about the future I would very much like to have a family, thanks for asking, and when my children were grown I would have no problem sharing salvia, mushrooms, cannibis or any of the other wonderful things mother nature has provided with them. Hell, I'd even encourage it, we have enough close-minded drones in this country as it is.

PPS: I'll leave you with this quote from Terence Mckenna "I think of going to the grave without having a psychedelic experience like going to the grave without ever having sex. It means that you never figured out what it is all about. The mystery is in the body and the way the body works itself into nature." What a waste....

You can always check out www.erowid.org to find out if it's legal near you, Casey. [Um, looks like it doesn't even mention Colorado, so it's probably legal.] You could get some extract and slip it into a friend's evening cup of calming hot tea, then sit back and watch the ensuing hilarity. Oh, and pretty please videotape for us if you do!! ;-P

Well, it's illegal in like ten states maybe, so Colorado could be one of them. If it's legal, pretty much any smoke shop that specializes in selling pipes and bongs and such will usually sell it. If they sell pieces and tobacco, they should sell it. It looks like green tea leaves and smells like incense. Also, Salvia is like alcohol, certain types are stronger than others. Your trip just depends on how much you pack, what the strength is and how long you hold it in. I think it's something everyone should try at least once. But then again, I am a New Age Hippie.

Yeah, people tell me crazy stories all the time like becoming paint and drying on the walls and things like that. I think that's what makes it an interesting drug choice. Everyone experiences something different, and you never really trip the same way twice.

I always end up seeing objects made up out of smaller versions of itself. Like a person will be made out of tiny copies of itself to form one normal-sized person. It was like I was stuck in the 8-bit Magic Kingdom.