One Night In New York City

Center of the World I’ve been going out a lot lately. Last week I was invited to a party for the HBO Latino Film Festival. It was held at a trendy club in the city called Crobar. I arrived around 10:30pm and their is a line as far as the eye could see. I called El Gordo, one of my associates and I find him standing in front of the place. I felt like I was an in episode of Sex in the City, not that I watch Sex in the City, but I was tricked into watching an episode for the simple reason that Sex is in the title. Anyway, there was a press pit in the main lobby. A press pit is a group of photographers huddled together like a roman orgy, fighting each other to snap their pictures of the important. These important people would stand in front of a wall with logos on it. The photographers would snap away as these nicely dressed people glided passed. I recognized a few faces but for the most part I have no names for you. I didn’t have to stand on line because our publicist gave us these pink bracelets that allowed us to immediately enter. I saw some other people with green bracelets on and wondered what that meant. I suddenly envisioned my self being forced onto a train that was headed for a concentration camp. I actually ran into a friend of a friend from L.A. and I got to meet a lot of cool filmmakers. The pink bracelet actually meant I could go into the V.I.P. section. I suddenly felt important and made my way up the V.I.P. stairs, ate some V.I.P. shrimp, and stood around trying to look like a V.I.P.

By 2am the place was packed. The music seemed to be getting louder and they pumped smoke onto the dance floor. Now I can’t hear or see, I can barely move and I want out! Standing outside in the middle of the night, in the middle of the city, suddenly wearing a pink bracelet wasn’t so hot anymore. I had a good time though, I felt…..important.

The China Club….not in China A few nights later I was invited to a friends birthday bash at the China Club in midtown. He said if I arrive before 11pm I could get in for free so I arrived at 10:58pm. Again the line was so long my eyes couldn’t reach the end of it. I saw my friend standing outside and he was able to get me off the line and into the club straight away. I was led up a flight of stairs where large black men waited to search every patron for weapons and paraphernalia. It’s nerve racking just to go out dancing.

As the night progressed more and more people began to fill the dance club. It seems to me that the later it gets the weirder people become. I wasn’t drinking much because the drinks are just astronomical in price. A bottle of water cost five bucks, not even a big bottle. On my way out of the club I ran into a friend of mine and was dragged right back in. I didn’t go home until the sun came up.

Face the Music I saw an ad for an audition in which they needed extras for some comedy pilot called "Face The Music". I can’t really put extra work on my resume but I figure since I’m free that day anyway, what the hell. The director calls me up and we have the following conversation:

Director: Yes, would you happen to be Latino by any chance? Laz: As a matter of fact, I am. Director: I need an actor to play….well do you happen to own a bandanna? Laz: You mean like a gang member? Director: I didn’t want to say that. Laz: Yea, as a matter of fact, I do. Director: Also, can you possibly grow out a go-t for the shoot? Laz: You mean to look more like a thug? Director: I didn’t want to say that.