*Massacre Man and Roderick Usher are in a van traveling to the abandoned campsite to pick Illdojo and his new girlfriend, a creepy girl who is a counselor at a camp that has been abandoned for 38 years now*

Roderick: If this were a horror movie we'd break down right now.

*The van immediately stops*

Massacre Man: You had to say that shit in the middle of the fucking woods!

Roderick: Well, it's true that this is a stereotype horror scene, it's in like every movie ever.

Massacre Man: Well, fuck Dojo, I'm not walking to the fucking camp.

Roderick: About now we'd happen upon a creepy morgue.

*Massacre Man turns around and begins talking while still walking backward*

Massacre Man: Stop talking! Every time you bring up a fucking horror cliche' it happens, now there's gong to be a marathon of "Tales From The Crypt" on tomorrow, I don't want to get torn in half from my asshole up before I get to watch it, so shut the fuck up before...

*Massacre Man bumps into the creepy morgue*

Massacre Man: Rod, you don't know how much I fucking hate you right now.

Roderick: Now, we go inside to use the phone

Massacre Man: Whatever, but if you say another word I swear to God you will have suck dick through a straw.

*Massacre Man and Rod step inside a dim-lit room, with a body lying on a table, Newb standing over-top of the body, with a power-drill in one hand and a chicken salad sandwich in the other, Rod whispers*

Rod: Now he kills one of us and saves the other one to torture and perform creepy experiments on!

*Massacre Man pushes Rod and he bumps into Newb, who quickly turns jamming the drill into Rod's eyes, he falls to the ground dying, he then approaches Massacre Man, with Rod's last breath he speaks*

Rod: Now the door is stuck!

*Rod's head hits the floor, Massacre Man tries to run, but the doors are jammed, he turns and stares at Newb*

Massacre Man: God damn it, chain me up.

*Newb nails Massacre Man's elbows and knees to the wall and pulls out a series of odd tools, the camera cuts away to Kemal standing in the corner watching the torture*

*Illdojo and the creepy camp counselor, Kasey sit inside of the freshly blood-soaked cafeteria that was the scene of a grizzly murder/rape/suicide/carnival 100 years a go tonight*

Dojo: Listen babe, if we're gonna do anything, you think maybe we should toke up first, to give this a little, ya know, enhancement?

Kasey: Sure, do whatever makes you comfortable, I'm gonna go use the bathroom.

*Kasey gets up and walks out, Dojo pulls out a bong and inhales, he sits anxiously awaiting the lady he would soon be inside*

Dojo: Come on, it's not gonna suck itself.

Kasey: Just a minute!

*Kasey returns, with no pants, urine still dripping*

Kasey: You ready?

Dojo: Fuck yeah.

*Dojo lays back, Kasey walks over and slips his pants off, Dojo stares at the ceiling in anticipation*

Dojo: You know, this is my first time.

Kasey: Really? I don't believe that for a second

Dojo: Well it's true, whenever I would try the girls would call me weird and they all told me I smelled like weed and strawberries.

Kasey: I like strawberries.

Dojo: Well, thank God I found you.

*Zoom-in on Dojo's face*

Dojo: Finally, so this is what it's like to have sex, are you supposed to feel this dry down there?

*Dojo looks up, Kasey's skin is gone and she is just a skeleton, the haunting voices of several children is heard throughout the building, foldable chairs and tables start to close by themselves.*

Dojo: What the fuck? I'm not leaving here a virgin.

*Dojo wraps his arms around Kasey's skeleton, he rolls over on top of her, he kisses the skeleton on the lips and starts to make love to the corpse as the camera zooms out of the cafeteria, the last thing seen is the cafeteria doors slamming shut on their own*

*The room is entirely dark, the dim light turns on as Newb enters the room holding a blender, Massacre Man's left eye is missing and he has a pair of scissors stuck to a piece of skin dangling from his head, he is barely conscious, Newb kneels down and plugs in the blender, holds his chicken salad sandwich in his mouth and pushes all of the buttons to be sure the blended is working right, Massacre Man watches as Newb then approaches him with the blender and shoves his foot in it*

Massacre Man: No, wait, come on, how the fuck is that an experiment?

*Newb gives Massacre Man a grin and turns the blender on low, every few seconds turning the setting up*

Massacre Man: Fuck! Stop it!

*After Massacre Man's right foot is taken off, Newb switches to his left*

Massacre Man: I would kick your ass if I had feet...

*Newb turns the blender on, after he's finished, Newb stands and pours the ground up feet into a cup and uses it to wash down his sandwich*

Massacre Man: I hope I have AIDS and you just got that shit too you fucking asshole.

*Newb turns and leaves the room without having said a word, Massacre Man looks at Kemal*

Massacre Man: Why are you just standing there! He cut my feet off and you just watched!

Kemal: ...

Massacre Man: Why aren't you talking?!

Kemal: ...

*Massacre Man stops and listens, he clearly hears the Tales From The Crypt theme in the next room over*

Massacre Man: Can you pull me off of here so I can watch the TV?

Kemal: ...

Massacre Man: Fuck you too, asshole.

*Massacre Man starts to pull his arms forward to slip off of the nails, he yells in pain*

Kemal: SHIT!

Massacre Man: That's fucking great! Now you say something!

*Massacre Man slips his legs off of the nails and lands on the nubs where his feet once were, he again yells in pain*

Kemal: DAMN!

Massacre Man: Why didn't you help me?

Kemal: ...

*Massacre Man crawls to Kemal and pulls the scissors from his head, he jams them into Kemal's foot*

Kemal: THAT'S WHACK!

Massacre Man: I'll show you whack.

*Massacre Man reaches back and grabs the cord of the blender, he swings it around and slaps Kemal across the face with it, he hits the ground and Massacre Man swings the blender at him repeatedly, smashing his brains in*

Massacre Man: Now, the Crypt Keeper.

*Massacre Man crawls to the TV room in time to catch the middle of the Crypt Keeper's introduction, he smiles*

Massacre Man: I didn't miss it.

*Just then Newb grabs Massacre Man by the legs and drags him out of the room*

Massacre Man: At least wait for the Crypt Keeper's part to finish!

*Just as Massacre Man and Newb are out of view The Crypt Keeper's laugh is heard, Newb takes Massacre Man to a door that he kicks open leading to a dark basement, he tosses Massacre Man down the stairs and closes the door*

*Neverending approaches the window and looks inside, after a few seconds Kasey walks out and he quickly ducks behind the bushes as Kasey starts to use the bush as a toilet, Neverending intentionally opens his mouth underneath the bush catching what he can, after Kasey goes back inside he looks in the window again*

Neverending: That's it... yes...

*Faustus runs to Neverending, gun in hand*

Faustus: You have to get out of here! There's an escape maniac in these woods!

Neverending: No, there's ghosts in these here cabins!

Faustus: My patient, Dante, he escaped, he was imprisoned for 20 years!

Neverending: There's a murderer in these here woods?

Faustus: He never killed anyone, but he's made threats.

Neverending: But this kid is in trouble, he's having sex with a ghost woman!

*Neverending clenches his chest and falls over, dying of a heart attack, Dante looks down and gets a disappointed expression, he continues to the woods*

Faustus: DANTE! WHERE ARE YOU!?

*Faustus is running through the woods searching for Dante who suddenly appears several feet behind Faustus, Dante giggles, Faustus turns around and pulls the trigger, hitting Dante in the stomach, Dante shreaks and falls over*

Dante: Oh my God! It hurts so bad! Why would you do that?

Faustus: I must stop you.

*Faustus approaches Dante and holds the gun to his face, he pulls the trigger and the gun clicks*

Faustus: I knew I shouldn't have shot at all those squirrels!

*Faustus kicks Dante in the face and picks him up, he spits out a few teeth and coughs up blood, he starts to make a gargling sound that sounds similar to a growl, Faustus happens upon the creepy morgue, he stands behind a tree while Newb is throwing away the blended Massacre Man broke, after Newb returns inside Faustus opens the small door on the side of the house that leads to the basement, he tosses Dante into the darkness where Dante's growl-like moans are echoed*

Massacre Man: No, I'd rather wake up tomorrow with my dick intact, I have something important I have to do tomorrow.

Roderick: What's that?

Massacre Man: Don't worry about it, just know the shit's important.

Roderick: Ok, but this is important to me... turn left.

*The van pulls up to the abandoned campsite*

Roderick: What do you wanna look at first? The lake, the woods, the bathrooms?

Dojo: Why the bathrooms?

Roderick: Well, in "Sleepaway Camp"...

Dojo: I know you're gonna drag this out, so nevermind.

Massacre Man: You know what we should check out?

Roderick: What?

Massacre Man: The fuckin'... road home.

Roderick: Hold on.

*Roderick runs to the lake*

Roderick: Just what do you think will be in here? Jason? The Blob from "Creepshow 2?"

Massacre Man: Probably fish and seaweed.

Roderick: Have an imagination, let's check the woods, maybe there will be a killer in there!

Massacre Man: Why would you wanna see a killer?

*Roderick runs off into the woods, Massacre Man follows, Dojo opens the back door of the van and sits with his bong and lights up, Kasey approaches him*

Kasey: Mind if I hit that?

*Dojo looks up, his eyes widen, he exhales the smoke and smiles*

Dojo: Sure.

Kasey: Thanks

*Kasey sits next to Dojo and grabs the bong from him*

Dojo: So, what's your name?

Kasey: It's Kasey, and why are you here?

Dojo: Something about my friend and the bathrooms here, I wasn't listening. But um... why are you here?

Kasey: I'm a counselor here, I have been for a while.

*Dojo leans forward and looks at all of the demolished and obviously abandoned buildings, he sits and looks at Kasey*

Dojo: Cool.

*Cut to Massacre Man walking through the woods alone*

Massacre Man: Rod, where are you?

*Roderick comes running over*

Roderick: Right here.

*Roderick walks over to Massacre Man*

Roderick: Find anything?

Massacre Man: No.

*A monkey, Zero. Let's out a scream and leaps from the tree directly behind Massacre Man, Zero lands oh his arm, he then swings the monkey over into Roderick's hands*

Massacre Man: What the fuck is a monkey doing in the woods?

Roderick: What should we do with it?

Massacre Man: Shouldn't we take it Animal Control or something?

Roderick: I don't know.

Massacre Man: I'll get the legs, you get the arms.

Roderick: Alright.

*Massacre Man and Roderick run out of the woods holding Zero, Dojo and Kasey stand up and watch the two searching for a place to put Zero*

Massacre Man: In your movie trunk!

Roderick: Then where will my movies go?

Massacre Man: On the floor for 20 fucking minutes.

*Massacre Man let's go of Zero and opens a box that says "Rod's Treasures" and turns it over, tons of classic horror DVDs and tapes fall out, they shove Zero inside and lock it, Massacre Man reaches into his pocket and grabs his pocket knife, he pokes a hole in the box*

Roderick: NO!

Massacre Man: What?

Roderick: Now it's not water-proof!

Dojo: I seriously doubt your movies would ever be under water.

Massacre Man: Come on, let's go get rid of this little asshole.

Dojo: Alright.

*Kasey wraps her arms around Dojo*

Kasey: Please don't go.

Dojo: Will you guys come back and get me after you're done.

Massacre Man: No.

Dojo:... Oh well.

*Dojo walks off with his bong in one hand and Kasey in the other, Massacre Man and Rod get in the van and start to drive off*

Rod: It's going crazy in there.

Massacre Man: It's locked in a fucking box, I would be going crazy too.

Rod: But still, it's tearing a hole in the chest.

Massacre Man: I put the hole there.

Rod: He's making it bigger...

Massacre Man: Put something heavy on top of it.

*Rod looks around and finds nothing, he sits on the box, a few seconds later he stands up quickly*

Roderick: It bit me!

Massacre Man: Don't put your ass in it's face.

*Zero makes the hole big enough to climb out and bite Rod's arm*

Roderick: What do I do?

Massacre Man: You're the movie expert! Throw it out the fucking window!

*Rod opens the back door of the moving van and throws Zero out, he lands in the grass outside of the mental institution*

Rod: It's gone...

*Rod walks to the front of the van and sits in the passenger seat*

Roderick: I think this would be the part in a horror movie where I first get the infection before I start eating people a few hours later.

*Back the mental asylum which Zero landed in front of, Zero makes his way over to the building, slipping into an open window of the lobby, cut to a guard opening a cell door and setting a tray of food on the ground, Dante is revealed to be the one in the cell*

Dante: Do you have a vegetarian alternative?

Guard: It's bread and water...

Dante: I see...

*The guard is about to close the door, but Faustus runs over and prevents him from doing so*

Faustus: Is it because you're afraid of what people might think of you?

Dante: ...

Faustus: Do you have a girlish voice?

Dante: ...

Faustus: Please, tell me why you sent those threatening letters to those people.

*The guard yells from the other side of the door*

Guard: Hurry up, I'm trying to get home.

Faustus: Yes, I suppose I could return tomorrow. Goodbye Dante, I'll return to speak to you tomorrow.

*The guard puts the key into the hole, before he can turn it he is attacked by Zero who continues to bite at him and scratch him*

Faustus: TURN THE KEY! LET ME OUT! I CAN HELP YOU!

*The guard makes attempts to turn the key but fails until he finally pushes Zero off long enough to turn the key, Faustus leaps out with gun in hand, he aims at Zero then notices Dante running out of the door, he follows leaving the guard for dead*

Guard: Where are you going? HELP!

*Zero tears off the guard's ear, the guard then proceeds to throw Zero into the cell and kick the door closed, he leans against the wall, worn out*

*Cut to Dante jumping onto and holding onto the back of Massacre Man's van*

Faustus: You nearly-murderous bastard!

*Faustus hops into his pink Cadillac and follows from a distance but misses the shortcut and drives to the normal camp entrance instead, he pulls to the side and stops, he begins to search through the woods for a small while until he notices a group of squirrels which he chases off using 5 of the 6 bullets in his revolver, Faustus then proceeds to further his searches until searching the actual campsite and running into Neverending*

*Returning to Massacre Man at the bottom of the dark basement with only the sound of Dante's growl-like moans*

Massacre Man: What the fuck are you!?

*Massacre Man feels around the ground, he finds a small hatchet on top of the workbench next to him, he uses his somewhat-good arm to throw the hatchet at Dante, the only sound is the hatchet entering Dante's back*

Dante: What was that!?

Massacre Man: You're a person?

Dante: What was that!?

Massacre Man: I don't know I think I hear bats, you must have been bitten.

Dante: I can't feel anything!

Massacre Man; Maybe it was a big fuckin' bat.

Dante: You threw something at me!

Massacre Man: No, I didn't.

Dante: Yes you did!

Massacre Man: Well I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you're in a basement growling. After I had my fucking feet cut off and my fucking arm broken. I must have been fucking stoned, I mean who in their right mind would be scared of GROWLING IN A DARK FUCKING BASEMENT!

Dante: Why is everybody messing with me today?

Massacre Man: Did you just fucking listen? I was nailed to a wall by my fucking knees and elbows and I watched one of my friend's die and the other one's out fucking by far the hottest chick I've seen, ever! Oh yeah, on top of that I'm missing Tales From The Fucking Crypt right now.

Dante: I can't feel anything!

Massacre Man: Well I can! And it's the worst fucking pain ever. It's like having a baby being delivered through a fucking papercut.

Dante: Seriously! I can't feel anything. I think I'm paralyzed!

Massacre Man: Good, I'm gonna use you as my human shield, because you're an asshole.

*The door opens and light shines in, Massacre Man puts his hand over top of his eyes while his they adjust to the sudden light, Newb stares down at him, then at Dante holding his sandwich*

Massacre Man: I hope you get bird flu on top of the AIDS I hope was in my blood.

*Massacre Man moves his hand from his eyes to see a shadow approaching Newb, he moves as quickly as possible and slips underneath the workbench, the shadow behind Newb is revealed to be a zombified version of Roderick soon to bite into Newb's shoulder, but he notices in enough time to push Rod down the stairs, Rod stands up and approaches Dante, biting his ear off, Dante screams as Rod takes more and more bites out of him Dante changes quicker, after his transformation Rod loses interest in eating him, instead he uses the hatchet like a handle and carries the zombie of Dante back up the stairs toward Newb, Newb then backs up and runs to the morgue's freezer and uses the shelves like ladders and climbs to the top, Rod stands at the bottom smashing Dante's head into the cabinet, Newb drops his sandwich onto the ground, his eyes widen, he reaches for it but can't get a hold of it, he hops to the ground to get the sandwich, he is then taken down and bitten until transforming, he stands again, the 3 zombies stand and start to make their way back to the basement, cut back to Massacre Man searching through the basement with the light provided by the open door, he is checking the possible weapons to use*

*The zombies enter the door and come to the spot under the table where Massacre Man was hiding*

Massacre Man: Hey, assholes.

*Massacre Man is sitting in a custom-made Wheelchair, consisting of two bike-wheels and a folding chair*

Massacre Man: Take this.

*Massacre Man rolls straight at the zombies and flips after lightly bumping into them*

Massacre Man: God damn it!

*Massacre Man rolls back underneath the table before the zombies stand up, they can't find him afterward other than Dante, who is staring right into his face but can't reach out any further to bite him*

*Cut to Faustus returning to his car after dropping Dante into Newb's morgue speaking to himself*

Faustus: They'll expect to get Dante back alive, what am I supposed to do?

*He hears some thuds and bumps coming from the cabin Dojo went into with Kasey, he walks over to the window and peeks in, Dojo is huddled on the floor, pantless shaking uncontrollably, Faustus runs to the door and opens it, he kneels next to Dojo*

Faustus: Young man, are you alright?

*Dojo remains huddled and doesn't reply, Faustus looks over at the corpse that Kasey turned out to be, Faustus gets a slight grin like he's had an idea*

Faustus: A murderous psychopath who won't speak...

*Faustus runs to his car and opens the glovebox, he pulls out a handful of bullets, he runs back to Dojo and cuffs his right hand to his left foot*

Faustus: I'll be right back.

*Faustus runs back to Newb's morgue, reaches into the trash and pulls out the broken blender and tears the blades out, he then opens the basement door and hops in just as the zombie of Dante is staring Massacre Man in the face, Faustus shoots Newb and Roderick in the head, he picks up Dante by the hatchet and blows his brains out through the bottom of his jaw, he uses the blender blade to slice off Dante's face, after he gets Dante's face he leaves, Massacre Man is still under the table, seeing everything that had just happened*

Massacre Man: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?

*Faustus runs back to the cafeteria and kneels next to the paralyzed-by-fear Dojo, he slips Dante's face over his*

Faustus: Perfect.

*Faustus picks Dojo up and tosses him into the back of his car and heads back for the mental asylum*

Faustus: You know young man, you're saving my ass here, I should be so lucky that they don't pay attention to the inmates at all. I'll visit you to give you therapy whenever possible but you should know, I'll probably get a reward for bringing back an escaped mental patient, I'll be out making new friends and living out what dreams a 67-year-old therapist can in the Bahamas. But I'm sure you'll be fine, doesn't look like you'll need me much, really you just get 3 square meals, a comfortable room and you don't even have to work a minute. You're going to love it at the mental institution.

*Faustus arrives at the mental institution, cut to inside, the guard is missing, the break room is shown, two of the guards, Despare and Murderdoll are the only ones in the room, sitting at tables on opposite ends of the room, Murderdoll has her head down sleeping, Despare looks nervous watching her, he walks over to her and sits down*

Despare: Hey uh...

*She doesn't respond*

Despare: Um...

*Despare knocks on the table lightly, Murderdoll raises her head*

Murderdoll: What the fuck do you want?

Despare: Can I tell you something important?

Murderdoll: Whatever it is, I honestly, truly don't care.

Despare: No, please, um... just hear me out.

Murderdoll: Will you leave me alone after?

Despare: Sure.

Murderdoll: Go ahead.

Despare: Well, we've known eachother since middle school, right?

Murderdoll: Are you coming out of the closet?

Despare: No, please, just listen, this is hard enough without you making fun of me.

Murderdoll: Faggot...

Despare: Ok... well, we've known eachother so long, I wanted to um... tell you how I felt.

Murderdoll: Oh shit...

Despare: Ever since I've met you I've been in love with you, since I first saw you I thought you were perfect, I haven't been able to tell you, I've been preparing all day, I mean... I woke up, I practiced in the mirror and everything. So is there any part of you that feels anything for me?

Murderdoll: You're fucking stupid.

Despare: Wh... What?

Murderdoll: We've known eachother since middle school and I've AVOIDED you since middle school.

Despare: Why?

Murderdoll: Because you're a fucking idiot. What you just said proves it.

Despare: You mean, you don't feel anything at all after all I've been there for you?

Murderdoll: If you call coming to my house and crying when my dog hit by the car, you didn't do anything, I put the cat in front of the damn car.

Despare: Oh...

Murderdoll: Now get the fuck out of here.

*Despare stands up and walks to the next room, he turns around and comes back*

Despare: You know what.

Murderdoll: I don't care what you have to say.

Despare: Alright, listen up. I was probably the only chance you had at any form of happiness. You just ruined your entire future, you know that? Shooting me down ensured that you've lived for absolutely nothing and when you're on your deathbed you'll just think "Why didn't I give him a chance! Oh why! He could have given me everything but I'm too much of a heartless bitch to give a nice guy a chance!" FUCK YOU!

*Despare walks into the hallway, puts his gun to his head and pulls the trigger, Murderdoll's eyes widen and she runs out*

Murderdoll: Oh my God I...

*Her worries vanish when she sees he missed his brain and is still breathing*

Murderdoll: Fucking retard, you can't even kill yourself right.

*She pulls the gun out of his hand and blows his brains out with it as Faustus enters with Dojo, his hands cuffed together, he seems somewhat responsive now, they both stare down at Despare's body wide-eyed*

Faustus: What happened here?

*Murderdoll tries thinking of a response when the zombified guard approaches behind Faustus*

Murderdoll: He was a zombie!

*The zombie grabs Faustus by the arm, Dojo leaps away and grabs the keys from Faustus, he runs out of the institution and jumps into the car, he uses the keys undo his cuffs and he backs out to head back toward the campsite*

*Back at the morgue, Massacre Man has his hands over his head just as Faustus leaves, he pulls himself out from under the table and eases himself up the stairs, as he's at the door Roderick and Newb stand up*

Massacre Man: Why the fuck couldn't you be Romero zombies?

*Massacre Man closes the door and crawls to the room he was originally captured in, sees the door to the exit, but then looks over into the TV room*

Massacre Man: God damn it.

*He pulls himself to the TV room and onto the couch*

Massacre Man: Still didn't miss the Crypt Keeper.

*He looks over and sees a blood-stained fireplace poker sitting on the floor next to yet another victim of old chicken salad sandwich eating fucker, and holds it for a few moments, concentrating on the TV, as soon as the zombies enter the room he pierces both of their stomachs and pins them to the wall as he waits for the commercials to end, the zombies moan at him*

Massacre Man: Shut the fuck up.

*The zombies slowly ease off of the poker, the commercials finally end as a new episode begins, midway through the intro an emergency news bulletin appears*

News Announcer: This is an HDC-station special report, we go onto the scene with our Info-Man, _V_

Massacre Man: WHAT THE FUCK!?

_V_: Thanks, Gus. Here I am at the ShankS Memorial Mental Institution where an outbreak of zombism has taken over the building, though the outbreak hasn't started yet, I am, as always giving you the news before any of the competitors. You will hear the first gunshot in... 3... 2... 1

*Sound of gunshot inside of the building, Faustus and Dojo are seen entering the asylum, Massacre Man looks at Dojo wide-eyed*

Massacre Man: That's... The fucker I was in the basement with! How the fuck did he get out?

_V_: But I can tell you now that the only survivor will be Doc Faustus who managed to use all of the others inside as bait for the zombies to lure them into traps, though we are still in danger as the monkey who caused the outbreak *picture of Zero is shown* has escaped and makes the likeliness of another outbreak very high.

*Massacre Man sees Dojo run out of the asylum and take off the mask*

Massacre Man: Oh... If I can't watch Tales From The Crypt...

*Massacre Man slips off of the chair and crawls to the door, he can't reach the knob*

Massacre Man: A little closer... come on... you asshole...

*He gets ahold of the door knob but slips off, after his second attempt he manages to pull the door open, he eases his way back to the campsite, he sees the car that Faustus drove smash into the cafeteria, Dojo leaps out of the car*

Dojo: TAKE THAT YOU DEAD BITCH!

*Massacre Man is relieved to see his friend, he has a smile on his face as he pulls himself forward*

Massacre Man: DOJO!

*Dojo looks over, his eyes widen, smoke slowly starts to come out of the car*

Dojo: Yeah, we're at Camp Chopuhpaula-View, his feet are gone and... he doesn't have feet. Oh yeah, he has holes in elbows and knees. Thanks, bye.

*Dojo hangs up and sits next to Massacre Man*

Dojo: They're coming.

Massacre Man: Fuckin' A.

Dojo: So what's the story.

Massacre Man: We were coming back to get you, we walked into a house, some asshole killed Rod and...

Dojo: Wait, Rod's dead?

Massacre Man: No, he's undead now.

Dojo: So... he's alive?

Massacre Man: No, he's a zombie.

Dojo: What?

Massacre Man: Just... don't fuckin' worry about it, we're not hanging out with him anymore.

Dojo: Should we tell his mom?

Massacre Man: I'm not... she got pissed off when I kicked a hole in her TV, imagine the shit she'll say when I tell her I got her fuckin' son killed.

Dojo: I'm not gonna tell her, I don't wanna see her cry.

Massacre Man: Pussy...

*The ambulance arrives, they put Massacre Man in the back and leave Dojo at the camp, he watches the ambulance drive off as the zombies of Rod and Newb stumble through the woods in the distance behind Dojo*

THE END?

NO, NOT YET.

*Massacre Man is in the back of the ambulance, he looks at the back window and sees Zero looking at him through it*

Roderick Usher-Eye drilled out by Newb
Kemal-Head smashed in by Massacre Man
Neverending-Heart Attack
Guard-Zombied by Zero
Dante-Zombied
Newb-Zombied
Despare-Suicided/Shooted
Murderdoll-Used as bait by Faustus
Every member that wasn't included-Used as bait by Faustus