Katarina Tomšič,
plot designer, author and editor of the diary, which she gave an appealing
title Our very first 1095 steps, in one of her notes discusses that
adoption can either be successful or unsuccessful.

So it is no
different from the other, more common families with "their own, born” children.
Even in adoptive families, nothing is black and white; it’s colored with all
the shades in between. Every family has some more and some less happy times; it
has days when the family members feel bad and would rather run away, but it
also has days when everyone is happy to be part of it. Every family has its own
peculiarities that make it unique. The same applies to an adoptive family.

I am grateful to
have been able to read the diary, written for adopted children by the brave and
determined Katarina, while it was already in the making and contribute when it
came to linguistic issues. At the same time, it brought back moving memories of
the time my husband and I decided to adopt: what the steps to our daughter were
like, how we met and started our lives together. We didn’t make a baby book,
but we do have rich photo albums; I kept a diary on her growing up and funny
lists of my daughter’s made up words. We also have a treasure chest: our
daughter’s first hat and teddy bear, a baby bottle and pacifier from the
children’s home where she spent her first year, a plastic cup from the
airplane, etc. Even now when our daughter is already a teenager, she likes to
look at and read these intimate documents. We told her the story about how we
decided to take her, about the first time we met and about the arrival to
Slovenia, about the unforgettable first days, all the confusion mixed with
powerful emotions, countless times. We travelled to her home country twice;
we’ve also visited the facility where she spent her first year.

The story about
his/her arrival is equally important to an adopted child as is the story about
birth; unfortunately we usually don’t have enough information about it – it is
the same with biological parents. It is better if we don’t push these topics
away but rather include them in our lives.

All kinds of diaries, albums and
memorabilia are equally important for us
parents during the time that will surely come: the time when the child is
becoming independent and we have to grow and develop with him/her. That period
can be very painful for the family and related to fear, anger, resentment and
disappointment. In those moments of feeling alienated and hated,
something very little can be a big help. Maybe the diary Our very first 1095
steps...?

Slavica Remškar,one of lecturer of the book Our very first 1095 steps & adoptive parent