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How To Change Your Marriage in 7 Days

Go back with me for a moment and think about your wedding day. Can you picture it yet? Can you recall the feeling in the air and your nervous sense of excitement? Do you remember all of the family, friends and guests that were there to cheer on you and your spouse? Can you recall the amount of love and emotion for the person you were about to VOW the rest of your life to? Go to those places for a moment and then come back…

This is a guest post by Bryan Van Slyke. Bryan is the author/ founder of the Manturity blog which is built on establishing spiritual maturity in today’s man. His goal is to assist men in building better marriages, help men grow in maturity and explore different aspects of real manhood. Stay up to date with the Manturity communities on Facebook and Twitter. If you want to guest post on my blog, check out the guidelines and submit your post.

I remember…just like it was yesterday

All or some of those questions should stimulate positive emotions in you. I personally can remember the emotions from my wedding day very well. My wife and I stayed with the rituals of not being able to see each other until she walked down the aisle.

I stood up at the front by the Pastor, probably sweating like crazy, and tried to hold my composure as I waited to see my beautiful (almost) wife walk down the aisle. When she finally arrived at the end of the aisle, it was like tunnel vision. I only saw her and she only saw me. It was beautiful.

Fast forward…we’ve learned and grown

Over 7 years later, we are more in love than ever, but it has taken a lot of work to keep our relationship strong. There have certainly been those times in between when I thought it was over, or I thought she was the wrong person for me, but we continued to work together and love each other.

We are stronger now than ever before. As we encountered rough times though, we learned a few tips and tricks that you can apply to your own marriage. Especially if you are going through some hard times.

So if you want to make your marriage stronger or if you need to experience some restoration, here are 3 ways to change your marriage over the course of the next 7 days. Get to work.

1) WRITE DOWN 10 POSITIVES: Everyday, for the next 7 days, you must write down at least 10 positive things about your spouse. You may need to buy a little journal to record these or you could do this on your smart phone. Figure out a way to do this and be intentional!

Here are examples: “I love his smile”, “I love her funny laugh”, “I appreciate his hard work”, “I really enjoy her jokes.” Or check out Jackie’s article, “25 Ways to Love Your Spouse“, to help recall some of those positive moments!

2) NO NEGATIVE COMMUNICATION: Everyday, for the next 7 days, strive to speak in positive ways to your spouse. This could be difficult, especially if the other spouse does not want to participate. Regardless, of your spouses words, reactions or tone; you must respond with love and respect. And if the opportunity arises, tell your spouse one or two of the 10 positive things your wrote in your journal that day.

Here are some examples: Instead of assuming dinner is made, ask your spouse politely if you could make or help with dinner. If your spouse made a mistake that day, choose to respond with encouragement and work to a resolution before getting angry and over worked.

3) PRAY FOR YOUR SPOUSE: Everyday, for the next 7 days, make it a point to pray for your spouse. Try to set this up as a reminder to do this at a specific time or maybe wake up a few minutes earlier and pray before work.

Here is an example (from a male perspective): Lord, thank you for blessing me with an amazing woman and wonderful wife. Please help me to be the very best husband that I can be and help me to serve my wife in any way possible. Thank you for blessing this marriage and I pray that it continues to keep you at the center. Protect my wife today and bless her. Thank you Lord, amen.

I encourage you to start doing these 3 things today in your marriage and watch how it changes over the next 7 days.

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Praying together as a couple can be a game changer. And just not at meals. For example, we have a standing “meeting” every Friday morning. We get up before the kids and over coffee we talk about our kids. It’s our “parent meeting”. At the end, we pray for each of our kids and over any specifics we just talked about.

About Me

I lost my job, and my family was homeless, yet I learned some valuable lessons from it all, which I now write and speak about. My words are in The Huffington Post, All Pro Dad, The Good Men Project, and Disney's Babble.

My new book, The 7 Rings of Marriage, releases February 1, 2016, and comes highly recommended by many, including #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman.

My goal is to help you better lead and love your family, so you can have a lasting and fulfilling marriage, and meaningful influence on your kids.