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Saturday, July 05, 2008

Tender Moments

Most of the time I spend with my kids is maintenance-y in nature. Getthem up, get their clothes on, feed them breakfast, run them to daycare, run them home, feed them dinner, give them baths. Even bedtimeis often mechanical, following a script to the T so as to get themdown as quickly and effectively as possible. And even weekend fun canfeel very business-like: out the door, into the car or onto thesubway, hit one place and then another, and home before anyone meltsdown.

Amy's much better at having tender moments, partly because she'sbetter at not being on the go go go all the time like me, and partlybecause she's just more tender than I. But it's not for lack ofinterest on my part. So it was nice this week to have a couple of"moments" with my kids:

* Jada was crying one evening after I had put her to bed, and aftergoing into her room and ruling out everything I could think of thatmight cause her to stop howling, I just stopped, sat down next to her,and let her cry for a little bit. I let her be sad, in my words andmy body language and my demeanor. Finally, she stopped, pointed toher closet, and said, "I want to wear a pretty dress." I pulled outsomething she liked, asked her if she approved, and had her hang it onher door. Then I told her she could wear it in the morning. Thatseemed to be enough for her; she crawled back into bed, I kissed hergoodnight, and that was the last I heard from her that night.

* Aaron was being his typical crabby self in the morning. Nothing Idid seemed to be to his satisfaction: not changing his diaper, notputting on his clothes, and definitely not anything I put in front ofhim to eat or drink. It was still early, so I didn't have to race thekids out of the house; so I set up Jada in front of the computer towatch some family videos, and I put Aaron in the play room and satquietly on the floor. He surveyed the room full of toys, decided tosidle up to me, and put his head on my chest. Less than three secondslater, he was off, causing damage to a whole set of toys; but thosethree seconds, we connected, and all from earlier that morning wasforgotten.