It was my first marriage. I was 32 years old when we married and I had always told myself that I would never get divorced, that if things got bad, I would just try harder. It was a stubborn refusal on my part to confront the reality of what it's like to be married to a BPD.

Oh I understand. He hasn't been fully diagnosed but he's getting help. Do borderlines usually hate the exes they broke up with but want to stay friends with the exes who broke up with them? Do do borderlines ever get bitter and become isolated and angry?

I just don't get why he doesn't hate the people who broke up with him. Are the stages of a bpd relationship accurate? Like the seducer, the clinger and the hater? Maybe he never got to the hater stage with them? I'm getting nervous because he seems perfect now.

What Guys Said 1

I had so much to deal with when I was dating my ex girlfriend who had this disorder. She had frequent mood swings and I would let her yell as much as possible and I would take the high road because I loved her. When every she would get angry I would let her have her fits. Whenever she would have cut herself, I would hold her down and not let her and restrain her. I would also do this to stop her from killing herself AND WHEN SHE FINALLY MANAGED TO CONTROL HERSELF, SO I COULD LOVE HER, I got no reciprocation. She never even took me to dinner. I was ALWAYS taking her to dinner.