The One Without Inspiration

November 29, 2012

It’s just that time of year, people.

And by that time of year, I mean exams are coming up in the next two weeks and I am overwhelmingly underwhelmed. I have a lot of work to do and studying that should be done… but I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this weird post-Thanksgiving pre-Christmas funk. And that translates into sub-par, sporadic blog posts. My bad, ya’ll.

Talking to one of my close friends (and sometimes fellow blogger) over Thanksgiving, I realized that it’s hard to write when everything is less than peachy keen. It stems mostly from not wanting to spread non-positivity (it’s not really negativity, but it’s definitely not rainbows). As important as self-preservation is, it’s also important to be real, and real people aren’t all smiles all the time. If I’m being honest with myself, being a newlywed in a new city with no support system within a 5 hour radius and no friends is just dang hard. And some days I let that consume me and totally steer my focus, even though it doesn’t define me or fulfill me. When I was homesick in Copenhagen (right around this time last year), all I could think of was how no one in the entire country really knew me or loved me. Dramatic, I know, but still a seed of truth in there. I was alone in a foreign country and when I focused on that loneliness it multiplied. Same applies here in Charlottesville. When things in my life start to pile up, I usually hide from them and let unhappiness sink in. This is me recognizing that and acknowledging my struggle. That’s sort of an important step here. Because after a few days of feeling so-so and not being productive or positive, I get sick of myself. It’s about dang time I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, because I’m American and that’s what we do here.

Snap out of it, Kaitlin. It’s almost Christmas. Listen to some Run DMC Christmas, rearrange your living room, bake some sugar cookies for your husband, go on a run tomorrow morning, and start working on that MATE transporter review because it won’t write itself. Remember that your strength comes from your faith and your family and your friends, and even though they feel far away they aren’t. Love is what fills you up and defines you. Choose that. And buy a dang Christmas tree already.

Thanks for reading my self-pep-talk. I promise not to write lame posts about mediocre recipes if you promise to be patient and keep reading.