Letters I'll Never Send

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Rember that first December we met. I was 15 you were 25. I always loved my older men. I always loved complicated relationships in my life. It made it more exciting and more interesting. At first you became a drug to me a addiction something that I couldn’t be with out. I wouldn’t go out just to talk to you due to the fact that you were 6 hours always and saw you 2 times every six months. I swore I would never cheat on you. Almost reaching 2 years to our relationship everything started to fade with you. The details, the cute remarks, me going to visit you. Even sex. Everything started fading away. But we are so used to each other that we won’t let go. Since you started fading away I started fading also, we rarely talk on the phone, I go out and get so damm wasted, and I have cheated on you with 3 guys already and I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. All my friends tell me you might be doing the same thing with me. But why don’t we break up or bring up our fucked up relationship in our conversations. We just talk about our day and fall asleep. It’s a daily routine. We are too used to each other we don’t even notice, but I’m tired of the cheating and lying. But you make me feel so alone every valentines day every time I want to go see you. You make me feel so alone telling me no you can’t. Or making fun of me when I tell you I want to travel to this place with you whenever I visit somewhere new. I’m sorry if it’s tough to hear this. But since you started fading away. So did I.