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Sunday, March 18, 2012

True Stories from a True Gangster

And, yes, there are many people who doubt my true gangster qualities because:

I sometimes talk like I’m from the valley (As if), and

I choose to say and spell gangster fully rather than opt for the more common form, gangsta. Hey, a gangster’s gotta use proper grammar too.

I can rap the full lyrics of “Look at Me Now” by Chris Brown, Busta, and Weezy. There is video evidence. I won’t post it here….. at least not yet.

I can rap a whole lot of Eminem’s rhymes, I can rock sunglasses inside and I have the booty of a video girl.

Case in Point.

The truth is, if I had any freestyle ability, I would love to be a female rapper. I think rappers are incredible in the rhymes they write, the beats they create, their performance skills, etc. I am constantly impressed with the work these people put out, not necessarily the stuff you always hear on the radio, but the music that is so poetic you can’t help but be impressed.

Lupe Fiasco, I’m looking at you.

I tell you all this to admit my one fatal gangster flaw. I just cannot keep up with the slang. Let me illustrate for you.

YOLO is a term that has been going around forever. Drake uses it in his song The Motto, and since the song broke big, I’ve seen it everywhere. It’s unavoidable. So how is it that even though I have heard the song, and can sing every word, it took me until last week to figure out what the heck YOLO stood for? I literally was in my car, singing along, when it hit me that the lyrics went together. Oh man.

I get it. You Only Live Once. Cute acronym Drake, great job creating a new trend word (that’s hot). Every true gangster apparently got the memo, and then there was me, the little blonde chick who didn’t.

There are others. I sang riding dirty all through high school, professed that it was “my song,” before finding out about six months ago that riding dirty meant you had drugs in your car. Ummm… woops. Not so much my song. I clearly have issues with the vernacular it requires to be a gangster.

So, help a girl out. Any other words I should be up on? Does anybody else have issues with the slang? Am I the only gangster with word problems?