Saturday, April 10, 2010

One fine day on one of the library outings, we went across to Sunplaza park where Ww saw the PCN bicycle rental kiosk. He suggested we could do a cycling trip with him cycling with Eliza in the seat. It took us like weeks (maybe months) before we really got down to do it. Sometimes it was the weather, sometimes i didn't think i really want to do that. My hesitation is mainly on whether Eliza will cooperate and sit in the bike, with daddy. I didn't think i would be able to cycle another weight of Eliza + have that seat in front of me.

Anyway during the Good Friday weekend, we really did it! We got Eliza excited about sitting in a bicycle and so there we went.

The cycle to Pasir Ris was quite a breeze, especially as we followed the PCN route. On and off Eliza need to see me as there isn't always space to cycle side by side. We were really thankful that the bell at the front of the bicycle kept her quite busy in the initial part of the ride when she was still warming up to the actual experience.

Ww would point out the flowers / kites / canals etc to her and sing with her to keep her entertained. Great daddy-daughter bonding time :)

Most of the time i could only take photos at the traffic junctions when we stop so there! This is just after Downtown east, at the big field where a lot of people were flying kites. After this part, somewhere towards Loyang, there was at least 1-2km of gentle upslope that just we too much for me. After that i was just too bished out. It was still manageable as long as there isn't any upslope.

Eliza playing with the gears now. Anyway, Eliza kept herself busy singing 80% of the time. Ww also joined in with her till she turned around to put her palm at his mouth, signaling him to stop signing. Funny girl!

The initial plan was to cycle till East Coast Park but by the time we reached Changi Beach, i was quite spent by the 2 to 3 major slopes in the route. In all i think we cycled about 10km? They have the distance markers on the ground and i was getting happier and happier as the numbers decreased, meaning that we're getting closer to our destination. Anyway, I was so super duper relieved that there was a PCN bicycle rental at Changi beach to return the bicycles else we'll have to really cycle all the way to East Coast! :S phews!Btw, the last place you would want to be on a weekend for some peace and solitude, not to mention parking space....is Changi Village. Really the cars are ready to park on top of each other we were thankful we were on bikes and taking public transport.

Anyway it was just about dinner time and i was also glad that we didn't have to delay Eliza's dinner time. She chose noodles for dinner that day (no the photo doesn't show it cos by the time the noodles came we were eating the fried rice halfway..delicious!).

Oh and we ended the evening with ice-cream at Blic our current favourite after dinner/ dessertplace, especially for Eliza. Wonderful part of it is that it's just a 5mins walk away from home. So far we've been eating toddler safe ice-cream (ie no mint / no liquor / no sourness ice-cream). Maybe I'll pop by with Ww someday for the non-toddler safe ice-creams that i love too.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Oh the woes of toddler sharing. Somehow, this year, she wasn't too nice on playing with other kids her age, well..in particular Amos whom we usually have playdates with. I've been scratching my head on how to deal with the offensive reactions & emotional outbursts she has towards kids coming to take her toys she has in her hands.

We were at Pollywogs once when a toddler boy, probably younger than her, came towards her and pulled the big ball she had in her hands. She threw herself onto the ball pit and wailed bitterly. Gosh...i was a bit taken aback by her reaction but on hindsight and after some reading up, I'm thinking that it was because she hated the little kids coming to snatch things away from her. We don't like it either if it happens to us. Somehow she prefers older kids cos they don't do that to her...i think it's more like the other way around...she snatches things from them (like when she plays with her cousins who will lovingly give it to her) or is too afraid to go near them (if it's a older kid she doesn't know).

She also doesn't want to play with other kids, which means, if she's playing a toy, she wouldn't let the other kid touch any part of the toy, else she'll throw the toy or snatch it away...and that can be quite aggressive....the throwing the toy (so far she hasn't hit anyone, thank God!) and the pushing the kid's hand away from the toy. But kids this age is always interested in the other kids toy.

I think she particularly dislikes playing toys with Amos cos he'll always be interested in what she's playing and they always end up in some mess with Eliza pushing Amos away or crying and Amos hitting her (ok that only happened once or twice). But if it's doing stuff together like running about, playing outdoors, they're quite fine. i guess there's no toy to fight over?

Anyway, i've told her countless times that if she wants something she "must say 'please' " & "cannot snatch" which she'll chant that phrase to me...but can't seem to do it. Seems like this isn't working out. I understand that this is a common phase that toddlers go through and i wonder when this will end.

Quote two mums' reply which i'll try to use:"Something we have been told is not to share but to say turn. Lily had an older child to learn behaviour off (sometimes great - sometimes not so). So when she snatched a toy we don't say "share nicely" (well, not anymore), but we say something like "Lily, it's Jane's turn. Lily can have a turn after Jane". And yes, we also tell Lily not to throw, if you do it again I will take it away - and we always follow thru. She is starting to get the message. We are seeing the benefits of this now as Lily has just started saying "turn" when she wants something that we've got and she wants to play with. "

" It doesn't mean the toy has to actually belong to them, but when they are playing with it they perceive it as theirs. It is healthy and appropriate for children this age to take turns rather than share. If your child is the one with the toy, tell them "Jenny wants to play with that when you are done. Can you give it to her when you are done?" Then, when you see that they are done with the toy and put it down, remind them "Are you all done? If you are all done, you need to give it to Jenny" and help them hand it over at that time if they are still having trouble. If your child wants a toy that someone else has, teach them how to ask for it. Give them words if they are too young to have any. "You want to play with that? Ask Mike if you can have it when he is done"

Another from justthefacts.com"When a playmate suddenly snatches your child’s toy, it’s important not to jump in and start scolding or comforting. Instead, act as a mediator and teach your toddler to speak up for herself, says Schafer. You can check in with your child and ask her, “do you like being treated that way?” And if she says no, tell her “then you need to speak up,” says Schafer.

Teach your child to communicate with her playmate by saying something like: “Can you tell your friend how you feel and say ‘I’m not done yet?’” Follow this by saying “your friend is asking for a turn when you’re done, can you find him and give him the toy when you’re finished?” This puts the control in the hands of your child instead of you simply saying “It’s his turn now,” and handing the toy over.

Toddler friendships can be a bit rocky at times and if things seem to be getting out of hand, it’s okay to step in as long as you do it without overreacting. “Hitting, biting and other aggressive behavior are often a sign that children are trying to connect,” says Schafer. “They’re just trying to figure out how to play and haven’t quite got it yet.” Your knee-jerk reaction may be to want to separate them, when sometimes you just need to redirect them toward cooperative play, she says. “You can say something like, ‘it looks like you really want to play with this boy, so how about we build a fort together?’”