Ocean updates served in stragglers, flocks, and set waves

Pigeons Take Crap for Crapping on Crappy Bridge

A brief article in the UK’s Sun newspaper says officials in Minneapolis may blame the recent bridge tragedy on accumulated pigeon poo. Nothing about the article seems to be kidding. And yet.

Their thesis is logically sound: pigeons, like all birds, excrete uric acid that theoretically could eat away at steel given enough time and, er, volume.

And pigeons – properly known as “rock pigeons” to birders, were originally cliff-nesters and like nothing so much for a perch as a narrow place above a precipitous drop. Bridges are lovely for this.

But let’s be honest. For anyone to mention this with a straight face, they’d better be able to point to at least one other known instance of Pigeon Doo Corrosivity Syndrome. Bridges and pigeons have been together for a long time, after all. Not to mention a swiss-cheese effect should have become evident on urban car roofs by now.

***This post is part of an anti-pigeon-defamation initiative on the part of the Scribbler. He has become aware that many people do not enjoy pigeons quite as much as they could if they approached the topic with an open mind. In fact, it might be said that some people resent them. Strongly.

But the pigeon is a noble creature, no less worthy of our appreciation just because of its pudgy body and walnut-sized head. The birds are all muscle. In a level race, they can outfly the speed racer of birds, the peregrine falcon. They are more considerate than your typical housecat, livelier than a goldfish, and cleverer than many a chihuahua or miniature terrier.

I would’ve hoped that you could have come up with a better acronym (a la your unkle post ) for Pigeon Doo Corrosivity Syndrome that spells something that you would then have to explain in 20-30 words in another paragraph, perhaps PECS (Pigeon Excrement Corrosivity Syndrome), or CRoPES (Corrosive ROck Pigeon Excrement Syndrome), or even CRePES (Corrosively REacting Pigeon Excrement Syndrome).

I was going for short and descriptive on that one. Perhaps you prefer to refer to it by its technical name: Sustained Pigeon Latrine-related Acidification on Transportation Trestles over Eastern Rivers Syndrome (SPLATTERS)?

And Jenn, thanks for the link to the Washington Post article – that’s quite a story. The reporter really gets right in the thick of things. I can almost smell the starlings and feel the slippery sidewalk.

Apparently The Scribbler is unfamiliar with the extensive research being carried on in rural Ohio into exactly this transportation hazard.(Though clearly he is not unaware of very much going on in the physical world).

A small but industrious research center based in New Vienna, Ohio has well documented evidence of the awesome power of bird poo (more accurately described in the ‘business’ as shit).

Visit sometime and tour the remains of countless cages (galvanized, teflon coated, industrially reinforced, no expense spared) perches and playthings reduced to wobbling. corrosion encrusted wrecks in a matter of months. True, it’s parrots that are the culprits in this case but how much difference can there be (practically speaking) in the dung these beasts splatter about?

About the Scribbler

Hugh Powell is a little weary of big-ticket items like Pluto, the Mars rover, and small fossilized humans getting all the science news coverage. Keep an eye out here for wisps and scraps you won't find anywhere else. Particularly about the ocean, which is really cool and, honestly speaking, much bigger than you think.