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Characteristic #9 of a Healthy Relationship

9. There is fun and playfulness.

This post has been sitting as a “draft” on this blog since January. I actually had comments from people that actually indicated that they read and enjoyed this series, but yet I stopped less than halfway through. I guess I had a break-through of ideas sometime in January that cause the screeching halt of these posts. Now, I am in another drought so I will continue this series because it is something that I enjoy discussing.

Back to the ninth characteristic. “There is fun and playfulness.” The first thing that came to my mind when learning this characteristic in the classroom was that scene from the movie “The Notebook” when Allie’s parents tell her she can no longer see Noah and that he is “trash, trash, not for [her.]”

You don’t know anything about love. You don’t look at Daddy the way I look at Noah. You don’t touch or laugh. You don’t play. You don’t know anything about love.

I tried to find the clip of this scene online, but to no avail, this exact scene was nowhere to be found. I’m sure many of you have seen this movie and can hear Allie’s overly-dramatic voice as she cried through this conversation with her parents. But what’s so significant about this scene is the correlation it has with the characteristic of keeping fun and playfulness of the relationship.

How can we define fun and playfulness in a relationship? Well, for starters, Allie defines it in her harsh words to her parents. The verbs she says are, “look, laugh, touch, and play.”
While this may seem like a childish thing to do, it actually makes sense to me when looking at it from a religious standpoint as well.

As Christians, we are called to have that “child-like faith” that is mentioned in the Bible. Having a child-like faith is trusting God the same way a child would trust his or her parents (among many other characteristics). What do young children represent? They represent purity in the sense that they haven’t been “contaminated” or “exposed” to the ways of the world. They represent an innocence that only a child can have… an innocence that allows them to view the world without the disasters such as war, murder, or earthquakes. They are just… innocent.

So in having a child-like faith, we can also have a child-like relationship. A relationship that is completely trustworthy and allows us to act as if we have not been hurt before. (When was the last time a child was reluctant to trust a parent, for instance? They always do, from the start, and they don’t know otherwise) At the same time, our relationships, however big or small, allow for so much fun and playfulness. And to keep that alive in a relationship, keeps us in that child-like mindset that can be good for us.

2 thoughts on “Characteristic #9 of a Healthy Relationship”

I forgot about this series. I did really enjoy it though! I completely agree with your examples. It IS really important to be able to maintain a playful spirit with your spouse or partner. There’s been many times in my short three years of marriage with Jeff wherein laughter has helped us bridge a gap or overcome an obstacle. Also, I’m in love with your paralleling this relationship characteristic to the Bible’s call to Christians to demonstrate child-like faith. Keep it up, Taylor. 🙂

Love it, so true! I cannot understand how couples say they stay together because they say they are in love but all they do is fight and struggle to get through another monotonous day together. Play is animal nature, I think it’s one of the most important parts of our relationships.