This Tuesday, while playing my Juggernaut expy, our mansion was spontaneously attacked by ninjas while we were meeting some new teammates in the living room. I overran and stomped on two ninjas. The second of those two ninjas was joined by a third one and they both tried to sword me. Thanks to my Reflective modifier, the third ninja's sword snapped and the kickback caused him to stab himself in the eye with the broken blade, killing him. I brained the second ninja, grabbed him by the head and threw him at the kitchen door. The GM made quite a few rolls, then told us that the ninja went through the kitchen door, the door to the backyard patio, the screen door, skipped across the pool and finally landed in the neighbor's hedges a thousand feet away as a corpse.

For me, it's the one here where The Flaming Dwarf pulled a "fastball special" via The Plastic Hunchback (the team's names came out a random Golden Age hero name generator) versus a tank on Erde, downed it in two hits.

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Meanwhile, by the aircraft, The Plastic Hunchback was considering the dot of the helicopter in the sky versus the far-off dot of the tank in the distance. He motioned to The Flaming Dwarf and pointed at the tank in the distance before making a throwing gesture with one hand. The Flaming Dwarf's face screwed up in confusion."You... wanna play baseball? Need to relieve a kink in your shoulder? Someone's fallen down the well?" The last cause The Plastic Hunchback to slap his own head with a resounding clang of metal before point toward The Flaming Dwarf, then to the far-off tank, and then making a throwing motion."You... you want to throw me. At a tank. A quarter mile away. Are you crazy?" There was a brief silence before Flaming Dwarf started cackling and hopped onto The Plastic Hunchback's outstretched hand, "'Course I'll do it. Heh... they're never gonna believe this one back home, are they?". He lowered goggles over his eyes and said, "Ready for liftoff, captain!" The Plastic Hunchback pulled back and hurled the Flaming Dwarf like a fiery comet."WAHOOOOOOOOO!" came the resounding cry as he arced through the air. As he neared the tank, he braced himself for impact, bouncing off of the surface of the tank, leaving a huge dent, and rolling up beside the main turret. "Hah... that was fun," he said, a bit woozy, and proceeded to whale on any exposed surface he could find, leaving a trail of smashed sensors in his wake before he finally settled back on his heels, panting from the effort."Hah... take... that... you," he wheezed. "Damn... they're really never going to believe this back home."

The Plastic Hunchback will hold his action until before The Flaming Dwarf's. Lady TNT begins to sneak toward the two tanks. 16+15 makes her pretty hard to see. The Valkyrie's Notice check is 5+14 and it fails to see where she goes. Similarly, the tanks fail with 12+14 and 10+14. She readies an action to attack the Valkyrie if it comes within range.The Plastic Hunchback will launch The Flaming Dwarf at the tank. The distance is roughly 600 feet. He can throw a 120 lb weight 2,500 feet, so he's at -2 to hit the Tank, but he's essentially giving The Flaming Dwarf a Slam attack at a speed of 6, giving him a Rank 14 Damage attack while taking a rank 4 Damage. The Plastic Hunchback's attack roll of 5+4-2 hits due to the tank's Blinded status, provoking the two damage saves. 12+8 for The Flaming Dwarf against DC 17 saves readily. The tank rolls 5+16 versus DC 29 and is merely Injured. The Flaming Dwarf Extra Efforts and also PA 5 attacks. 11+8-1-5 will hit for a DC 31 Damage save. The tank rolls 4+16-1 and is Disabled. >_< The Flaming Dwarf disables yet another machine... and gets an HP because that was just an awesome maneuver to pull off. He'll be Exhausted next round unless he uses a Hero Point.

Let's set the stage... a supervillian gets loose on the helicarrier and i trying to steal one of the transports, during the fight that came from this ended with my character and said villian getting knocked into the safety net. the villian had gotten his hands on a mega nasty weapon that could have easy taken out the helicarrier's engines that kept it in the air.

My character saw this, and grappled with the villian... putting him into a chokehold and then going as deadweight that caused the two of us to tumble out of the safety nets and plumet to the earth below. Something that caused my character to yell out, "Let's go to hell together brother!" something that he didn't think anyone but the two of them could hear...

the villian was indestructable... and my character had regeneration with resurrection. Fortunately my character one the grapple check and made sure that the villian hit first and took the brunt of the impact. This allowed him to come too first just as the rest of the team and SHIELD Agents all showed up to my character sitting up and saying, "Oh yeah... I'm gonna be feeling this one in the morning."

American Patriot (MSG Nathaniel Hale Spaight, US Army - Ret.), American Meta-Human Super-Soldier (PL10/150pp.)"Sometimes... success is measured just one little victory at a time."

In my Patriot's campaign, my co-gm has a character whose primary power is the ability to "buff" other characters and grant them super powers. One of the powers he can grant is "stupid" levels of growth, and another is invisibility. He buffed the "genie" (genetically engineered anthroporphic wolf) on our team to Godzilla levels of size, but also added invisibility. When she slapped Ubermensch while he was in the air, the knockback sent him half way to Venus. Since the genie was invisible it looked like the "pride of Germany" had been bitch-slapped into space by our telekinetic. The rest of the Nazis went back and reported to Adolph Hitler III that they didn't want to mess with this new United Allied States teen team.

Okay, the other night we finished up the final adventure in the first story arc of our Patriots game that is set in a world where WWII didn't end until 1985. Last night's game was a wrap up, and then playing through a six year time compression hitting the major events in the character's lives.

In the wrap up:

The Patriots had undergone a procedure to unlock the next level of their genetic potential (justifying the gaining of 20 PP and two PL s over the next six years. It left them weak and at half power for two days. While the Minutemen (our rival team but still on the side of the UAS), Team Awesome (a group of teen heroes we rescued and helped get started in the third adventure), and a whole new generation of Gen-10 genies (genetically uplifted wolves, saber tooth tigers, otters, bats, cheetahs, and various others- including an uplifted standard poodle) watched over the island where they were staying.

Of course this is when a rogue faction of the Nazi SS led by our old enemy Madam Blitz, ten ubermensch and a huge submersible carrier decides to attack the island to steal the secret of creating ubermensch that are genetically stable, and the secret of our “walker” technology.

During the attack where we were horribly outclassed (dropped to half levels in most of our powers) Spectre “pushes” a buff on Pinnacle temporarily managing to bring him up to more powerful than he was 'BEFORE' he'd taken the procedure. But since he was groggy, and exhausted a bit more of his own imagination went into play, and Pinnacle became a thirty foot tall amalgam of Superman and Captain America- which surprised the hell out of Madam Blitz when he bounced the shield that appeared on his arm off the carrier damaging it, and then into her which took her out of the fight- permanently.

When the last ubermensch was had poor Justice on the ropes (who'd grabbed a “walker” sized gun and gone into battle doing nasty things to the bad guys) and was about to deliver his coup de grace, he was suddenly taken out of the equation when he was hit with the submersible carrier, thrown by Pinnacle in his new guise of Super Patriot.

Somehow our own personal stalker, the photographer Peter Parker managed to get footage of the fight and the sentai show based on us out of Okinawa suddenly gained the ability to with the chant of “by our powers combined” become Super Patriot Samurai- a giant samurai dressed in red, white, and blue. (Japan was defeated and occupied early into the war, but the only true Japanese left were those living in the US. Only the Okinawans survived and they are fanatically loyal to the UAS.)

During the compression:

When Zephyr, one of the cheetah genies who is obsessed with medieval culture, came to Liberty and complained that she wanted to join the New Metropolis Renfaire mock combat trials but couldn't because there was no class for combat genies, Liberty decided that it would be a good idea for the world to see just how much the genies really liked to play. She sent back word to Patriot Hall (where all our support staff is combat Gen 10 genies) that the wolves should armor up in all the medieval style armor we had laying around (don't ask) and come “go a viking” to show how much they like to play. WRONG THING TO DO!

Two hours later, a whole pack of seven foot tall Gen-10 wolf genies dressed as vikings and hanging off the side of a deuce and a half came barreling into the Renfair where they quickly rounded up all the “loot” tied up the court jester and presented it and him to Liberty's (in her secret ID of Regina Eldrich) feet.

Fortunately we were able to turn this PR nightmare into a plus by claiming it was a publicity stunt to advertise this year's gift to New Metropolis from the Patriots. Two days later we put on a huge Renfaire type re-enactment of a viking raid (wolf, otter, and bear genies – the latter of which were hurling catapult sized water balloons) on a medieval city defended by human and cheetah knights riding liger-sized saber tooth tigers, kitsune samurai, and bat air support. The vikings won- barely, and the whole city was entertained and the proceeds were given to charity. Most importantly, it gave birth to that reality's SCA- with some changes.

Finally, in 2004 Liberty's and Pinnacle's father, Senator Eldrich, was elected President of the UAS on the new Constitution Party ticket. They were assigned a Secret Service detachment by the names of Agent James West, and Agent Artemis Gordon. The Secret Service agents had to explain to their boss why all their reports were completely redacted and consisted of a blank piece of paper with their names on it. When asked why it was redacted they told the head of the Secret Service- their boss- that he didn't have a high enough security clearance to know.

"When I said hit me with your best shot... I meant it!" American Patriot (MSG Nathaniel Hale Spaight, US Army - Ret.) taunted as he pushed the debris from all the walls that he had been thrown through off his body. The sounds of his broken bones popping back into place sounded almost like the sounds made by microwave popcorn. "My six-month old niece hits harder than that!"

"MMMan, III'd really hate to sssee his six-month old niece if that's the case..." Samson (Matthias Yael 'Matt' Cohen aka "Matthias 'Matt' Samson") said with a shutter as he tried to crack a joke at his teammate's expense.

"Why? She's cute as a button and doesn't hit you unless you make her cry," Freedom Eagle II (Michaela Colleen O'Connor) said grinning as she described the toddler in question.

"You two do know we're in the middle of a fight right?" a voice asked the two.

"Yes... but AP is keeping the bad guy busy," Samson said looking up and noticing that the villain Proletarian III (Shaun Hay aka "Shaun Woodson") was hovering there with his arms crossed and a look of annoyance on his face. And that the question had originated with him and not one of their other teammates. "Never mind..."

"See what I have to work with?" American Patriot asked flippantly.

"You could always switch teams..." Radical (Henry Agard Wallace Franklin aka "Wallace Woodson") replied from his perch ontop of the armored car that was carrying the items that the Regulators had targeted.

"Nah... the insurance coverage on vacuum cleaners alone makes it worth it!" American Patriot responded as he popped his neck with a quick twist of his head and grinned as he continued the joke. "Besides, I believe in and love my country... even if I disagree with the policies of the current Administration, I'll always stand by the American Constitution... protecting it from all enemies, foreign and Domestic. You know, from people like you and your boyfriend."

"Your funeral..." Radical stated flatly as he glared at the American Patriot.

American Patriot (MSG Nathaniel Hale Spaight, US Army - Ret.), American Meta-Human Super-Soldier (PL10/150pp.)"Sometimes... success is measured just one little victory at a time."

We were the group that located the original plans to the Death Star and were to relay them to Leia. We'd been playing weekly sessions for about a month, building to this point. Everyone suspected the presence of a Jedi in the group but no one dared try and out the Knight for fear of drawing attention to the group.

We were all grateful for the occasional Mind Trick that seemed to aid our cause, the occasional object that was just within reach...

And then we were running towards our transport with stormtroopers on our tail. The soldiers stopped firing, and we heard the ominous breathing of none other than Darth Vader.

The smuggler character simply said... "Oh... sh..." while the noble turned to bolt to the ship, calling out that if there really was Jedi in the group, now would be a good time to tell us...

I stood up, looked at the group and said "Run" and proceeded to mimic the sound of a lightstaber coming to life.

The GM looks at me, says that there is no way this ends well for my character but to go for it.

I fought Vader, lost, but got in a few really good shots before my character got all Darksided and killed...

In a Star Wars game of my own. Myself and 3 friends created 4 of the most epic characters we'd ever had the pleasure to play. Gray Bishop a Force Sensitvie taken at a young age and made into what amounts to crimson guardsmen/jedi by Vader Before he escaped. Kosh Naranek (an alias) a Bothan Spy who was as quick with his words as he was with a blaster pistol, and was also a trained expert in demolitions. if Kosh couldnt blow it up, blast it or talk his way past it, we ran. Rowook a wookie of immense strength and inteelect who was as good with a tool belt and ship repair as he was at dismantling those he fought and who was life bonded to Gray thanks to gray saving his life. And lastly but not least Ian Mckellan a solider and star fighter pilot who was a crack shot, Sniper and marksman, and in his pseudonym a world class cook.

The 4 of us had a ship that belonged to Gray called the Raven a sleek lightning fast ship that made the millenium falcon look like a slug thanks to Rowooks modifications.

And thus with the players we come to the scene in question which has forever been named affectionately.

Wookie in the closet.

The scene in this case was we had run afoul of a Rodian Crime family. They werent any real threat we were just to good though we made sure to remain cautious as was our nature. On one planet we captured a Rodian and needed to interrogate him. While tryingt to think of a plan, Rowook basicaly suggested getting physical with him. While certianly physicaly capable the notion of the large wookie (Maximum starting strength possible in D20 starwars)) Gave Gray usualy a fairly stoic individual an idea that would live in infamy.

Suddenly As Gray I stood up- and said I got an idea. A statement that always is exiting because it invariably leads to some insanity or other.

Pointing to Rowook I said quick get in the closet and start banging on it like your trapped in there. Well tell him we keep you in the closet because your too dangerous to be let out.

When you hear me say we keep the wookie in the closet I want you to jump out and roar loud as possible at the rodian got it?

The others quickly agreed and the near 7 foot wookie squeezed into the closet and proceeded to bang and roar as if he were trapped ((note the door was of course unlocked, none of us was that stupid))

So we ((Gray and Ian with Kosh nearby in case)) gather up the rodian prisoner and proeed to walk him along the corridor where he hears the roaring and banging. Scared as is he asks in fear what that is, and both Ian and gray reply "thats the wookie in the closet."

The rodian of course asks "whats he doing in the closet? to which gray replies "Well we always keep him in the closet." as if it were the most natural thing in the galaxy and he were silly to ask such a question.

"Besides." Gray adds " he has to stay there because if he ever got out hed kill us all."

Rowook takes this as his que and Burst from the closet with a loud roar that shakes the deck plates. Ian and Gray both simulatneoulsty Yell "HES LOOSE HES LOOSE!!" before hauling arse down the corridor and out the hatch.

thus leaving the rodian in a state of abject terror at the monster in the closet. ((who by the way promptly ices the cake by rolling a natural 20 on his maxed out Intimidation skill and by virtue of the poor schlob failing his will save miserbaly ))

After the group spent the next 15 minutes laughing hystericaly and recovered enough to continue to play, we came back to find an unconcious rodian (he fainted) and a pile of Rodian peepee on the floor.

All 4 of us promptly called out Not it! and delegated the clean up to the Astro Droid who wanst happy about it.

Dr. Silverback has wryly observed that this is like trying to teach lolcats about Shakespeare

We figure out the correct house where the nazi villains we have been hunting are hiding. After my character was rescued. We make a quick plan: beat up nazis until the boss arrives. With our new plan we walk up the walkway and suddenly ~bzzap~ Half the party is in a floating island surrounded by darkness, a creepier more Gothic version of the house we were approaching appears and in short order we solve any guard problems on our end. We come across a big iron door. After a quick test it is determined i have the best chance of hurting the door and i begin cutting it open. Sadly i have horrible luck... several rolls later i finally bust the door down and shadow bust out of the door and promptly maul my character before being vanquished. The scoop up my liquid mass and carry on deeper... to another identical door. Much swearing occurs when they realize they will have to heal me up to be the can opener. On the real world end One friend of mine who though inventive is not gifted with words uses misted Gadget as an Impromptu shield. MR. Gadget does not approve. His partner [cosmic controller], then draws a diagram so impressive the gm declared, i cant read this but it works. It just does. I finish the other door and we both bust in simultaneously to this scene.

You enter a dark room seeing on the other end [CC] and Mr. Gadget busting through the other side In the center of the Room is a Nazi Official wearing [uniform] and he Commands "men, get them! For soon Nacht Kreiger will have his full powers and be returned to this world!" In the center of the room is a large machine all tubes, wires, leavers and lightning above it a dark shadowy form is beginning to manifest while fields of black lightning flash around him. A darkened bubble circles the sphere. During this spectacle we have approached a little Geyser is predictably mauled by shadows, and uses ultimate effort to use hit last strength to create a lance of water and hurl it at the device. It is deflected by the force field as he collapses to a puddle of water. The Shadows then try to slay my allies as do some nazi goons, and suddenly they have the luck i just had. 1, 4, 1, 3, 5, 7, 1 (ect). Several critically failing themselves out of the fight. To which [CC] exclaims "[Geyser] You are more useful dead then alive!" After which the begin closing on the big bad who weather their attacks and injures some of our party members. The on round 2 i had homing 1 on the spear, so from geyser's puddle water rises up and forms... another spear! Which sails in and due to dramatic ruling pierces through the device ruining it. The Evil villain wails NOOO! As the device explodes wounding some party members, and the our bard Says i extra effort to play this... " It's astounding... Time is Fleeting. Madness, takes control..." And the GM busts a gut and allows him to travel back in time: take two The wail of essence as Nacth Kreiger still sounds and the device is still destroyed (including the doors being repaired) but all the players are just inside. We proceed (i even get a shot in) to trounce the mooks and the Big bad. Like a Chump. (i believe i got the KO hit).

It was rather fun.

Oblivious Man Strikes Again!

"Sometimes I think you are more useful dead than alive!" -A Friend regarding one of my characters.