This is a super deep question about identity and self-esteem and social anxiety but it's something that I can't stop thinking or understanding lately and I feel like the answer is what I need to achieve some sort of happiness or stability in my life. [more inside]
posted by oracleia
on Oct 6, 2016 -
16 answers

I need a divorce from what's left of my family. I just can't figure out how to do it. The ending is the part I always thought would be easiest, but it turns out to be worse than the waiting part was. [more inside]
posted by kythuen
on Sep 21, 2016 -
22 answers

I want to build a new website, mainly to showcase my work as an artist, writer and academic. I'm looking for inspiration, and perhaps even some Wordpress templates. I want to do something a bit unique, responsive and forward thinking. Can you help me think beyond the current portfolio model? [more inside]
posted by 0bvious
on Sep 3, 2016 -
4 answers

How do mixed-race people (i.e. with multiple ethnic backgrounds) reconcile living in white supremacy? Do mixed-race people ever transcend the barriers to become grounded and thrive in their identity? (so no, I don't mean a mixed-race person who has settled for a singular identity as the pricetag for membership benefits in a single ethnic group; I mean mixed-race persons who've thrived in spite of membership or acceptance by either group). [more inside]
posted by human ecologist
on Sep 2, 2016 -
27 answers

Somebody ordered an unknown expensive object (UEO) from a large national retailer (LNR) with my wife's credit card. Our wonderful bank (OWB) believed us that it was not us and refunded our account. Now LNR has sent us a letter asking for the return of said UEO. Anybody have experience with something like this before? How did things turn out? [more inside]
posted by garethspor
on Jul 1, 2016 -
7 answers

I want to change my middle and last name. But I also want to buy a house, move, apply for fellowships and grad school, and/or get a new job, not necessarily in that order or with equal degree of certainty. When's the best time to do the name change given these life factors? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres
on Jun 27, 2016 -
10 answers

I'm in the US and I know that matters. I am frequently faced with the question of what I do for a living and I never know how to answer it. I am not working due to health issues that aren't immediately apparent. But I also am passionate about a couple things that often lead to questions about who I am. I just don't know what to say. [more inside]
posted by [insert clever name here]
on Jun 6, 2016 -
22 answers

I've noticed that websites for many NPR stations are using the same template. But I can't find a company that is common to the templates. There are names at the bottom of some sites but there isn't one name for all sites. Is this part of an NPR requirement that all member websites have a "corporate" identity? Some cabinet level agencies within the Federal Government went through a rebranding program in the early 2000s which included making individually designed websites adopt a organization wide look and I wonder if this is what is happening with public radio stations. [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind
on Mar 15, 2016 -
6 answers

My employer suffered a data breach and my personal information was leaked. They've provided me a subscription to a identity theft and credit monitoring service.
I don't trust them. What is the best service money can buy that will protect me from identity theft and credit fraud?
posted by special-k
on Mar 1, 2016 -
7 answers

I'm stricken by overwhelming concern about the world (environment, hunger, refugees, corrupt corporations) coupled with guilt that I'm not doing anything to improve things. What can I do with the tools available to me? [more inside]
posted by lizifer
on Dec 26, 2015 -
23 answers

This has been happening for a while, and since I haven't seen any actual transactions shown in bank / credit card statements, I've just cancelled every order that came my way - until today, when somebody ordered from Checks Unlimited! (but still sent to my old address under my name?! WTF) [more inside]
posted by 01080591
on Nov 19, 2015 -
11 answers

Hi there Brilliants,
I'm looking for examples of identity thieves in movies, tv, literature, comics, etc. Or for articles about techniques these thieves use. Even something like "Catch Me If You Can" is helpful. I'm looking for techniques that these thieves use. I am not a thief! I am just doing some research for a story to help out a student.
Thanks so much for your help!
posted by sunnyblues48
on Nov 11, 2015 -
22 answers

I need to know the sociological or psychological terminology for someone who has a very narrow sense of self concept. For example, someone who puts all their focus into one specific thing and suffers through the rest of their life to engage in clubbing or fishing or movies . . . etc. [more inside]
posted by R.F.Simpson
on Nov 1, 2015 -
10 answers

My one debit card and one out of four credit cards are continually subject to fraud charges no matter what I do. Why is this and what can I do to prevent it? [more inside]
posted by Everydayville
on Oct 26, 2015 -
30 answers

Super creeped out how a guy who only had my first name, cell phone number not billed to my address, town I live in, and birth year could have discovered my mailing address. Help me protect my privacy better in the future! [more inside]
posted by shortskirtlongjacket
on Oct 3, 2015 -
27 answers

I am on the membership committee of my church, and once a week we get a report, complete with full names/emails if provided, of visitors who've signed in. Often, this make them easy to find on Facebook. Sometimes they share mutual friends with me or other members on the committee. Lots of other committees get that email also. My question is: would you find it creepy if someone from a church you visited sent you a FB friend request afterwards? [more inside]
posted by emjaybee
on Sep 21, 2015 -
26 answers

How do I approach moving people on the street to interview them about racial identity and what sorts of questions should I ask to get the most out of them? [more inside]
posted by ihaveyourfoot
on Sep 19, 2015 -
16 answers

The situation is that I manage a bunch of websites & web services, all with their own separate user accounts. It would be useful to unify all these logins. The problem is that the software infrastructure necessary to support unified logins is way beyond my capabilities. Is there a suitable technology shortcut or a way I can cheaply buy such a service? [more inside]
posted by outlier
on Jul 23, 2015 -
11 answers

I am trying to find an animal that fits the whole medicinal/body care/spa kind of vibe because I want to create a logo. I thought of swans, but I am looking for animals that could appeal to a broader demographic (if that makes any sense).
posted by omar.a
on Jul 14, 2015 -
24 answers

I grew up in a household with a BPD (borderline personality disorder) father, and although I haven't been officially diagnosed I suspect I might be borderline myself. Now that I'm an adult, I feel like I have little sense of who I really am as an individual; I find myself emulating the personality traits of whomever I'm talking or texting with, for better or worse. I'd like to hear some suggestions on how to improve one's sense of identity so that I feel more like... umm... a whole person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Jun 29, 2015 -
11 answers

I identity as genderqueer but as time goes on I think I may actually be a man instead. Can you point me to online support where I can try to sort this stuff out and learn what to do next? [more inside]
posted by kanata
on Jun 16, 2015 -
11 answers

How inconvenient is it to change your email address in the modern Internet environment? Nearly every web application in the world treats your email address as your login or account name: is updating that everywhere feasible? [more inside]
posted by Nelson
on May 5, 2015 -
13 answers

I'm planning to change my name, but I'm a little uncomfortable with removing the clear marker of latina identity that my surname provided in the past. How do I still represent my Mexican heritage and avoiding unintended erasure of ethnicity, as a white-passing individual? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish
on May 4, 2015 -
17 answers

I went to pick up cold medicine today. Because I don't mess around, I went to the pharmacy counter to get something with pseudoephedrine. But the pharmacist scanned my ID and said that according to the FDA records, I'd already reached my pseudoephidrine quota for this month and she couldn't sell me any. I have not purchased any cold medicine in three months, though. What's going on? [more inside]
posted by EmpressCallipygos
on Apr 7, 2015 -
25 answers

I lost my social security card and need to get a replacement. This is my first time losing it, so no big deal, but while I was researching how to get a replacement, I found out that you only can get ten replacements in your lifetime. [more inside]
posted by kbennett289
on Apr 3, 2015 -
9 answers

I used to be a granola hippie. Now I'm more average. How do I shake the feeling that I'm dishonoring my past identity by being who I am now? [more inside]
posted by serenity soonish
on Apr 1, 2015 -
31 answers

I left a bag on a plane last night; thankfully it was taken by airline staff to the airport's Lost and Found office and I will pick it up tonight. In it (still) are my U.S. passport, an American Express card, and Visa debit cards from two different bank accts. This is a small airport in a remote Scandinavian town with an extremely low crime rate. No activity today on any of the cards. Still, do I need to put any sort of identity-theft flags on passport and/or on cards?
posted by anonymous
on Mar 12, 2015 -
10 answers

An person with a history of ID theft may have gotten ahold of some of my identity information. I want to do all that I can to stop them from stealing my identity. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher
on Mar 3, 2015 -
6 answers

I have been experiencing terrible bouts of depression and anxiety for the past four months or so now. I also have turbulent mood swings, ranging from being content in the morning, and scornfully miserable in the afternoon. I'm not certain what is causing all of this. I'm not an emotionally stable person; always unhappy and anxious. I have lost all desire to fulfill my hobbies, which includes: writing, reading, watching documentaries, deep conversations, watching old films, debating, poetry, social activism, and learning knowledge in general. I do not think I'm intellectual or socially exciting enough, therefore I have abandoned all of my hobbies. [more inside]
posted by RearWindow
on Feb 23, 2015 -
14 answers

When I was growing up, in the seventies and eighties, Eastern Orthodoxy was pretty much an ethno-faith. That is, to be Orthodox was to be Greek, or Ukrainian or Russian or any of the historically orthodox nationalities who had immigrated to this country, along with a few outsiders who had married into the faith. Nowadays, however, things have changed . . . [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet
on Feb 18, 2015 -
13 answers

Some kid who shares my fairly uncommon name is trying to use my email address to register their Instagram account and I keep getting emails about it. How can I make them stop? [more inside]
posted by mymbleth
on Jan 12, 2015 -
20 answers

I want to begin auto-paying my student loans, but this company is asking me to fax/mail more identity confirmation than I've ever encountered. Should I be nervous? [more inside]
posted by red_rabbit
on Jan 6, 2015 -
5 answers

I'm looking for high-quality, blank uniform templates for this identity I am designing. If there are images from several angles, it would be awesome. I'm primarily interested in t-shirts but I am open to everything else as well. [more inside]
posted by cyrusw8
on Dec 8, 2014 -
2 answers

I'll be changing my name very soon. Problem: My employer will also file my W-2 soon. I don't want mismatched documents to make SSA or IRS send a no-match letter. It'd inconvenience us both, and since this is due to a gender transition, it would also accidentally out me. Is there some time early next year when all the W-2 forms will be processed, and I can tell the SSA of my name change, then my employer, without triggering a no-match? Or is my best option to tell everyone ASAP and hope for the best?
posted by aw_yiss
on Dec 7, 2014 -
7 answers

As part of my friend's job, she was asked to give a visual guess of a job candidate's ethnicity. She felt uncomfortable doing so, and has questions about it. [more inside]
posted by msbrauer
on Dec 1, 2014 -
8 answers

I've recently ended a very intense emotional relationship with someone and now I've lost my sense of identity. So much of who I was was tied up in her, I don't seem to know how to be me now she's gone. Has anything helped you, in a similar position? [more inside]
posted by anonymous
on Nov 20, 2014 -
21 answers

I don't really know how to phrase the question, but I'm trying to remember or find examples of names of characters who were either complete fabrications or were presented under the guise of another identity all along (in fiction).
Also does this trope have a name? [more inside]
posted by man down under
on Nov 14, 2014 -
38 answers

This is so weird I hardly know how to phrase it. My mom keeps telling anecdotes from my life as if they are things that happened to her. She doesn't seem to be aware of this behavior but it makes me feel uncomfortable and violated. How should I deal? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by hand-knit sock
on Nov 5, 2014 -
35 answers

Got a PhD, got a cushy research job that I really like, but have extracurriculars that I'd like to pursue and have concerns about pursuing them under my real (academic) name. [more inside]
posted by sockpuppetryarts
on Sep 23, 2014 -
11 answers

I've just been assigned a project that involves interviewing people who want and/or need a second chance at life — people who want to leave their old lives behind and craft new identities someplace else. Where do I find them? [more inside]
posted by Lillitatiana
on Aug 25, 2014 -
17 answers

What methods would you recommend to someone looking to develop a sense of self and a more accurate sense of their own value if they've spent most of their life defining themselves and their worth through their grades, their job, and their partner? [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger
on Jun 28, 2014 -
23 answers

Looking for books or movies (fiction) that have a character who is "different" in that they have been prepared (perhaps "predestined"?) to fulfill a purpose that is often misunderstood or ignored by others. They may intuitively know about this purpose from the start, or it might be slowly revealed to them, or it only comes together at the sentinel event; as a result, they may have some quality of "otherness" (as best I can describe it). Some examples below the fold. [more inside]
posted by sealee
on May 28, 2014 -
25 answers

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