2005-10-25

How to walk inside on a rainy day

If high winds and heavy rain are your preference, today is the day for you! Fortunately I have a stack of midterm examinations as an excuse to stay indoors. In the unlikely event that anybody was wondering how ordinary activities look on a day like this, here are basic guidelines to walking inside in ten easy steps:

1) Walk into lobby of building, pull dog away from pile of mail that is too large to go into people's boxes2) Through feat of superhuman effort, pull keys out of wet pocket3) Take care when going upstairs to step in the middle of each step, rather than balancing on the edge the way you usually do4) Open apartment door, try to hold dog in one spot until he has been dried a bit5) Decide against hanging hat by door, figure that doorknob of bathroom may be best place6) Proceed to knock hat over several times while looking for place to hang raincoat7) Hang raincoat over tub, place boots by sink8) Dry dog with old towel, attempt speed and agility in a vain effort to prevent him chewing on it9) Put on pot of coffee and change clothes10) Remember that this is the far edge of a hurricane, and there are many people nearer the center than you