LGLWSM Newsletter 076 - Ringing Out the Crud, Ringing in the Good! January 01, 2014

Hi!

I don’t know about you but I will be so glad to move past 2013! It was a definite year of trials and tribulations for me especially. In fact, I can’t think of one person who didn’t hit a few bumps in the road (to put it mildly) last year…

Some of the events that unfolded last year were real mind benders, including a good friend who got into some really bad trouble. She turned to me to help her out, which I did without thinking. However, as the year unfolded, my feelings got hurt again and again.

It was during this past year that I made a very important and crucial decision about my life. If something’s not working, not bringing any positive returns, is creating mental fatigue and disappointment, then what purpose is it serving? The truth is that it’s not. I had to get very real with myself!

Slowly over the months of last year, I began mentally separating from my girlfriend of over 30 years. Our friendship has moved past the good old days and moved into something I don’t even recognize.

The fact is that she had failed me because of old expectations I had set.

Yet, I’ve been holding onto our friendship for years, hoping that it would magically go back to what it had once been. Of course, I discussed my feelings with her a dozen times and tried to get her to realize that she was losing me. She made her usual promises and time went by and nothing she ever promised happened.

At the same time, I turned to friends that I’d formed healthy relationships with, both online and locally. They kept me going and built me up and helped me turn things around!

As a new year rings in for you, I’d like you to consider doing the same. In order for human beings to move forward in a positive manner, you have to be willing to cut umbilical cords of the friends in your life that are bringing you down. If someone doesn’t uplift you, creates drama, seems self-centered, doesn’t remember things you’ve said, and makes you cry often, they aren’t worthy of your time nor your energy.

Here are a couple ways I’ve learned to help create a more positive experience!

Weeding OUT the Crud - Ringing IN the Good

Remove the negatives! In order to move past old failed friendships or even bad habits, you have to create new brain waves. This is much like removing all the processed food from your house when you’re trying to lose weight! You have to be willing to cut out the stuff that binds you down and bring in the stuff that builds you up.

Be worthy! What you think about yourself matters! If you make a mistake, then call yourself an idiot, you are reinforcing the negative. You have to replace old thoughts with new thoughts that are worthy of you. So next time you make a mistake, try saying ‘oops’ instead.

Rest! Getting eight hours of sleep is vital to mental capacity. When you’re overly tired, you have a hard time focusing on the good in your life. (There is actual research on this!) In fact, one study found that if you memorize lists of positive, negative, and neutral words... then sleep for eight hours, you will remember 80% of all lists the next day.

However, if you memorize the lists and then don’t sleep well, you will remember the neutral and negative lists, but you remember 59% fewer positive words. This is because your brain interprets a lack of sleep as a threat to the central nervous system, then goes on high alert, scanning the world for additional threats, that is negatives.

Eat well! In order for the human mind to function properly and seek out the positive, your brain’s glucose levels need to be UP. What pushes them up? Healthy foods! In fact, when you regularly replenish glucose levels, you are able to increase productivity, energy, and focus.

Be still! When I was in massage therapy school, we were taught to meditate frequently. And I did! However, after leaving school and getting into the working world, I put meditation on the back-burner and stopped altogether.

However, when you are being still, you are listening... to inner thoughts.

Things that were most perplexing have a chance to become clear. That’s because you are giving your brain an opportunity to clear out the fuzzy stuff. (resentments, anger, pain, disappointment, ill feelings) I am now including regular meditation in my week and think it’s a great venue for helping to clean the slate.

Change your environment. (Its awesome how this works.) Most every day of the week, I am in my office pounding it out on my keyboard. I don’t mind so much but I can get stuck. New ideas for webpages or newsletters seem to evade me until I remove myself from my surroundings.

It just so happens that every Friday I take a break from my work and go pick up my son from his work. While I’m on the road, its amazing to me how many new ideas just come flooding into my head! I have learned to keep a notebook in my car and write them down at the stoplights. Sometimes you have to step out from the same old same old to see new light. It really works!

Never stop loving. Although I mentally said good bye to my old friend this year, I still love her and always will. Just because our friendship has outlived its purpose, doesn’t mean I don’t care about her or wish her the best. I do! But I am carefully responding to her attempts to suck me back in and trying not to say too much. In fact, while I was writing this, she texted me as if right on cue…. even though I hadn’t heard from her in over a week.

Funny how life works that way.

Always remember that you alone are the master of your own destiny. Be patient, forgiving, and kind to YOU first. Be willing to make tough choices that help propel you into a better, healthier person. Surround yourself with people that love you and care about you. It’s a winning combination that will serve you well in the brand new year!

I am really looking forward to a great 2014! Hope you are too!

(I have been very busy working on a topic that was vexing me. It may be the most important information you’ve read in a very long time. Stay tuned to the newest pages on my site….)

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