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For the Slothful, a Race Is a One-Step Process

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And They’re Off! To Party!

And They’re Off! To Party!

CreditMark Makela for The New York Times

PHILADELPHIA — Runners picked up their long-sleeve T-shirts, pinned on their bib numbers and gathered beneath a banner as rousing music played. Some wore sneakers in the subfreezing chill; others wore boots or flip-flops. One woman leaned on her crutches. Another was dressed as a nun.

“Who out here is going for their personal record?” the race director shouted into a microphone. “Everyone have their watches ready, their GPSs set.”

Runners took their marks, some fueled by something stronger than Gatorade. An air horn bleated, and they surged merrily forward to the immediate praise of “Congratulations! You have just finished.”

The Philly 0.0 Instant Gratification Run finished a step after it started Friday night. An official time of 1 second was given to each of the estimated 350 participants, who paid $20 to $35 apiece for a T-shirt, beer, food and live music. It was a race like any other race except for, well, the actual running.

Traditional races have spawned any number of novelty alternatives: obstacle courses featuring mud, fire and barbed wire; mile runs in which participants chug a beer before each of four laps around a track; color runs in which participants are showered with kaleidoscopic cornstarch.

And now, inspired by a cartoon, comes the nonrun, with the motto “All the fun, none of the commitment!”

Depending on one’s view, Friday’s race was an existential comment on engagement and responsibility; a critique or embrace of entitlement and self-importance; a celebration or rejection of couch-potato sloth; a chance for serious runners to shake off the midwinter doldrums with silly fun; or a sly enticement of nonrunners, luring them to what may be the best part of a race — the after-party.

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James Reece after being named the winner of the men’s 50-59 age group at the Philly 0.0 Instant Gratification Run. Because everyone was tied, the winners were chosen at random.Credit
Mark Makela for The New York Times

“We wanted to prove that with no hard work, no perseverance and no discipline, anyone can be a winner,” said Dan Babeu, 40, of Levittown, Pa.

This was the first “race” for Babeu and his wife, Judy Andrejko.

“I have a lot of friends who run, and I was tired of feeling left out,” Andrejko, 40, said. “It feels really good. I’d love to try a real race.”

Nicole Quigley, 27, of Warrington Township, Pa., brought her mother, Denise, 61, who also wore a running bib. Her mother always cheers her on at races, Quigley said, but until Friday could never participate because she has multiple sclerosis.

“This is a chance for everyone to cheer for her,” Quigley said.

For serious runners, Friday provided camaraderie at a time of year when motivation can drop with the temperature. Some reveled in postrace activities they often skip because of cramps and fatigue.

“This gives a chance to do the festivities without being exhausted,” said Rebecca Crawford, 35, a distance runner from Washington. “I usually don’t get to enjoy the free beer and dancing.”

And zero mileage meant zero chance of being intimidated on the course, suggested Brett LaValley, 39, of Conshohocken, Pa.

“Once, I was literally beaten by a guy dressed as a tiki bar,” LaValley said.

The idea for the 0.0 Instant Gratification Run, its director, Todd Strauss, said, came from a cartoon that he saw last fall on social media. The cartoon, created by Steve Moore in 1999 for his syndicated strip “In the Bleachers,” showed a race official saying: “Runners to your mark. Get set. Go! ... O.K., come get your T-shirts.” The shirts were in a stack just beyond the starting line.

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Last week’s Philly 0.0 Instant Gratification Run gave everyone a personal-best time: 1 second. “I was tired of feeling left out,” one nonrunner said.Credit
Mark Makela for The New York Times

Moore’s cartoon also inspired the Instant Gratification Zero Mile Fun Run held last April in Glendale, Calif. That run had only one, nonstrenuous requirement: The 30 participants had to walk 10 meters to collect their medals and T-shirts.

“People are actually doing that?” Moore said with a surprised laugh Saturday by telephone from Boise, Idaho. “Never underestimate people’s desire to skip the journey and go right to the finish line.”

When word spread in mid-December of the Philadelphia run, some were predictably annoyed.

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Still, organizers said, about 425 runners and 115 “virtual participants” signed up near the professional stadiums in South Philadelphia. One was Patti Hommes, 67, of Horsham, Pa., who was undeterred by a hairline fracture of her knee.

“It’s something I could do on crutches,” she said.

Some runners took themselves too seriously in criticizing the event, said Strauss, 40, the race director.

“It’s 7:30 on a Friday night in February,” he said. “Can’t you have a little fun with this? We’re not encouraging people to be lazy. If anything, we’re trying to get nonrunners to see how much fun runners have after 5Ks or half-marathons.”

Traditional runs of one and three miles preceded Friday’s nonrun, although this seemed comically gratuitous to some.

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The cartoon that inspired the event.Credit
Steve Moore, via Universal Uclick, by permission

“They ruined a perfectly good nonathletic event,” said Susan Coia, 54, of Camp Hill, Pa., who wore a habit for the zero-mile race and carried a sign saying she was participating in a run like “nun” other.

Her sister, Jean Kopan, 57, of Eagleville, Pa., pinned packs of energy gel, electrolyte tablets and pain relievers to her running shirt and strapped a light to her forehead. “So I can see the finish line,” she said.

Rebecca D’Orazio, 27, of Haverford, Pa., wore a reflective vest and a runner’s ID bracelet, saying in mock angst, “What if I get dehydrated and pass out and they don’t know who I am?”

Even a race of one step proved too far, though, for Brody Clemmer, 25, of King of Prussia, Pa., who was carried across the line by D’Orazio and another friend. “One of my skills is not shortness of breath,” Clemmer said.

Deanne Ross, 39, of East Norriton Township, Pa., wore a plain sweatsuit in apparent homage to Philadelphia’s celluloid runner of museum steps, Rocky Balboa, and said she felt inspired to take up jogging.

“I’m going to be 40 this year,” Ross said. “Ticktock. Now or never.”

Susan C. Beachy contributed research.

A version of this article appears in print on February 9, 2015, on Page D1 of the New York edition with the headline: For the Slothful, a Race Is a One-Step Process. Order Reprints|Today's Paper|Subscribe