1994- The Wonderbra takes the fashion world by storm. Women's rights activists present passionate arguments asserting the bra encourages men to objectify women. Men are so distracted, all they hear is "blah, blah, blah."

1995- "Seinfeld" episode airs featuring the "Bro," a bra for men. Inexplicably, John Madden, Pavarotti and Marlon Brando are unavailable for comment.

1996- The video game "Tomb Raider" debuts, featuring top-heavy adventurer Lara Croft. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "handling one's joystick."

1997- In the popular "Austin Powers" movie, Fembots use breasts as weapons. In actuality, women have been doing this since 1.6 million BC

1998- A Florida man sues a strip club claiming exotic dancer Tawny Peaks' 60-inch HHH bosom caused him to suffer whiplash. Defense lawyers are paid with a large stack of one dollar bills reeking of cheap perfume.

1999- Pamela Anderson has her 36DD breast implants removed, returning her to a 36C. The male population of the planet collectively utters, "Whuh?"

2003- A Brazilian woman is shot during a confrontation between police and drug dealers and is saved by her silicone breast implants. Implants are no longer just visually appealing, but are also a "personal safety measure."