19. "Keep a spray bottle filled with ice water next to the bed, and give each other a strategic spritz to extend the encounter... Aim for the nerve-packed, thin-skinned areas on each other's body, such as the nipples."On an unrelated note, this is also a great way to train your cat not to pee on the rug.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

1. Put a small piece of masking tape on the bottom of his mouse, making sure it covers the trackball or optical sensor. Watch as he struggles to read his e-mail — and don’t forget to write “Gotcha!” on the tape.

2. This is one of our favorites and it can translate into a number of situations. Ask your guy to go to the supermarket and give him a list of made up things like dehydrated water, sweet salt or a blunt knife. If he’s into fixing things, send him to the hardware store for a glass hammer or cement humidifier. For the sports guy, tell him to grab a box of curveballs and meet you in the park after work. Beware though, this could keep him tied up for a while.

Fixed! If your husband can figure out that a glass hammer doesn't make sense, he can't be a REAL man (tm).

The sex tips are just so dumb. Oprah had one where you had to tell your partner where you wanted to be touched in sequence before things got started (and vice versa), so it was supposed to be face, fingertips, shoulders, back of thighs, neck etc. and then your partner would say their sequence. I tried it once. My partner went "genitals."

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

I went in expecting bad ideas and picking out a couple of gems for some laffs but these are all gems. I found myself saying "NO" out loud after all of them. And someone was paid to write these. And someone is paying money to read them. And there might even be someone who is trying some of these.

Oprah had one where you had to tell your partner where you wanted to be touched in sequence before things got started (and vice versa), so it was supposed to be face, fingertips, shoulders, back of thighs, neck etc. and then your partner would say their sequence. I tried it once. My partner went "genitals."

STRAIGHT TO THE BALLS WOMAN AND NO TURNING BACK

(Yeah, uh, I did more-or-less what your partner there did. I was, I guess, not so erotic. "What would you like me to wear?" "Nothing!" "But..." "GET NAKED!")

My sister's mother in law told me to wear makeup because it would pay off in the bedroom. My husband and I have good laughs about that one. Thankfully my own mother in law wanted to be a nun and will not be talkimg to me about sex ever.