Hump, Marry, Kill: Joel Kinnaman Is Killin' It

Hump: Have I talked about Joel Kinnaman here yet? Because seriously, guys, Joel Kinnaman. I am all about him these days. Those soulful brown eyes...interviews where he speaks in Swedish and jokes about his juvenile delinquent past stealing from IKEA — it’s working. Plus, it’s kind of intriguing how he can go from playing the sketchy, former meth-addict character (The Killing) to the handsome romantic lead (Lola Versus) with the mere addition of a few scratchy patches of facial hair and some contouring, sallow-face-effect makeup. Side note: I really miss Holder’s hoodies from last season, but he’s definitely looking less meth-addled these days. Now, please do yourselves a favor and watch Kinnaman in Easy Money (also called Snabba Cash), for which he won Best Actor at Sweden’s Guldbagge Awards (their Oscars).

Marry: I have a confession to make. It’s pretty embarrassing. Whatever, here goes: I can’t stop watching Baby Daddy. Oh, you haven’t heard of it? That’s probably because you’re out having a life and watching mature, adult things; not a sitcom on ABC Family that airs after Melissa & Joey (which I promise I don’t watch except for maybe two seconds to marvel over what’s happening on Joey Lawrence’s head these days — I’m concerned it’s hair in a can).

In the vein of past TGIF greats, Baby Daddy is filmed in front of a live studio audience, and again, it’s on ABC Family, so the show is basically a bunch of one-dimensional characters competing to see who can chew the most scenery for the biggest laughs. They’re all completely one-note: The quirky, horny-but-only-implied-because-it’s-Disney roommate; the titular “baby daddy” who’s forever trying to get his life in order; and his overbearing mother who now lives across the street and can see into their apartment (of course). You get the deal.

That’s why it’s kind of surprising that in the midst of all the one-notes, the character originally created to be the most one-dimensional of all — Baby Daddy’s older brother Danny, a professional hockey player — has emerged as the only [slightly] nuanced person on the show, who might actually have a bit of inner life going on. No, it doesn’t hurt that he’s 6’5" and seems to take his shirt off a lot, but still, congratulations to Derek Theler for figuring out how to evolve a lunkhead athlete on an ABC Family sitcom whose name is kind of pejorative into someone with an actual story arc and personal conflict. Let’s all look through his Instagram to celebrate.

Kill: Ugh, Don Draper, why are you being like this? You’re quickly careening from antihero territory to straight up lonely, miserable, alcoholic monster land (and not the fun monster land with the university and Boo). I’d say you’re better than this, but I think six seasons of Mad Men have proven that the more we find out about you, the less we actually know about you. So, maybe you’re not better than this. Maybe you’re on the same downward spiral as Pete, heading into the Inferno, but since you’re handsome and enigmatic, you’ve managed to conceal your monstrosities for a lot longer. At this point, sign me up for Bob Benson.

Yes, yes, we know. It's Harry Potter's birthday today. But did you know today is also the 50th birthday of one J.K. Rowling, who is an actual living person and not just a fictional character we all adore? Many happy returns, J.K. Before we send our owls out with birthday presents, cake, and cards, let's take a moment to read

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