Sexual Frustration and How to Deal with It

30.11.2017

Sexual frustration is one of the reasons why relationships end. Sex plays a fatal role in a relationship for many couples since it is a great pleasure and nothing can be compared to it. Very often this desire makes most people turn their relationship into legal one because it is a legitimate opportunity to get sexual satisfaction with a regular partner in a comfortable and permanent regime. But after this (and sometimes even when cohabiting), satisfaction fades and a person begins to experience huge discomfort. So, what is sexual frustration and how to cope with it?

The insight into sexual frustration: anamnesis and symptoms

If you are tormented by insomnia, constantly unhappy, everything around monstrously irritates you, you regularly “catch” all kinds of viruses, memory fails you often, and you don’t understand the information well, then, most likely, you are sexually frustrated. After all, in the process of sexual intercourse, the hormone endorphin that is responsible for a good mood and positive perception of the surrounding world is released into the human body. Therefore, every time after orgasm, people think that the world is becoming beautiful. Also, during sex, some brain centers activate and it also contributes to the improvement of our mood.

What does sexually frustrated mean? Sexual frustration is when people feel sexual inexperience, inferiority complex, and the absence of excitement. Men often confuse the need for love and intimacy with the need for sex. This explains why it is so difficult for them just to be friends with women whom they find attractive. There is always a sexual aspect in their relationships. In addition, men expect that women also have a sexual interest in them. This erroneous assumption, multiplied by the tendency for women to flirt, can turn into an “explosive cocktail”. Persistent courtship is quickly replaced by sexual aggression and violence. Men are “programmed” for the most active continuation of their bloodlines. However, society limits this desire, threatening serious consequences for blindly following instincts. As one famous actor noted: “Sex is something that takes a little time and brings a lot of troubles.”

Don’t assume that frustration with sex applies only to women. A strong half of humanity also often suffers from dissatisfaction with cohabitation. The main symptoms of sexual frustration are:

Poor education in this sphere and, as a result, shyness.

Psychological trauma due to some previous experience.

Conflicts between partners.

One of the most common signs of sexual frustration is the fear of failure.

Fear of pain associated with both physiology and past sexual experiences.

Monotony and routine in sex.

Also, there are different temperaments of partners among sexual frustration symptoms.

Often, some new sexual experience adds to the requirements for sex with a regular partner.

If one of the partners is not satisfied, he or she will avoid contact. Less often an unsatisfied partner continues to have sex, however, remains unhappy because sex doesn’t bring satisfaction. Dissatisfaction with cohabitation doesn’t allow a person to exist normally. A person closes and becomes irritable, loses former attentiveness, and other people can perceive him or her even as a neurotic or a loser.

Signs of sexually frustrated men:

When a man is sexually frustrated, it can be seen right away. He hates the whole world.

When a man demonstrates sudden mood changes, the likelihood that his body needs sex is great.

Usually, everyone dreams or imagines some kind of sexual things from time to time; most often it happens at night or as a result of the impact of some stimulus. But if such fantasies become very frequent, and they regularly happen during the day, then it is obvious that a man is sexually frustrated.

The lack of sexual activity can cause social exclusion. This is due to the reduction of endorphins, which help to maintain a good mood and the desire to communicate with people.

Often, a man begins to feel a lack of confidence in what he does as a result of frustration. Sex is an activity that boosts self-esteem and allows people (both men and women) feel welcome and needed. So, this is also the sign of a sexually frustrated woman.

A man has constant headaches. The production of serotonin and endorphins that are known as the happy hormones and natural antibiotics reduces due to sexual frustration.

Reasons of sexual frustration in men:

As numerous surveys have shown, monotonous sex is the most common reason of sexual frustration.

The second reason is the partner’s cold attitude during sex. So, it is quite logical! Who is pleased to kiss a “snow queen”, giving her all the love and tenderness and get nothing in response?

The next explanation of men’s frustration lies in their non-orgasming women. It is also quite understandable because sexual intercourse for a man is not only a way to please himself, but also to please his partner. And if he sees a complete absence of the result of his efforts, he gets upset and all the memory of happy minutes of sex is replaced by meditations about what he does wrong. It should be noted that men don’t blame women for anything in such cases. But, first of all, they blame themselves.

One more reason includes the fear of becoming a father.

And the last place in this short list is the need to use contraceptives. And indeed, men don’t like to make love with a condom, which reduces the sensitivity in times.

Reasons of sexual frustration in women:

The most basic reason of the sexual frustration of women is the lack of orgasm. Despite the fact that women are gifted with the opportunity to enjoy the very process of making love, yet the highest point of enjoyment is the orgasm.

The emotional component of sex is very important. So, ladies are very upset because of the lack of caresses and attention from their partners. Not only a beautiful foreplay is important, but the whole process in which men have to pay attention to their women.

Emotional detachment is not the only reason for women’s frustration. The monotony of caresses can also affect a partner’s mood. Here, men and women are still similar in this desire for greater diversity. When a person demonstrates sudden mood changes, especially in public, the likelihood that his body needs sex is great.

Of course, there are some other reasons why a man or a woman remains dissatisfied after sexual intercourse and different signs of sexual frustration. However, they are not as common as the previous ones.

How to deal with sexual frustration

Sexual frustration can overtake you on your life path sooner or later. Either you are a member of a relationship that has lost its flame or you are hopelessly alone or your health doesn’t allow you to enjoy this completely natural part of human life. Remember that this is not the end and the solution is near. Well, it’s time to take the first step to the healthy and interesting life!

1. Avoid stressful situations

Stress can affect your ability to enjoy sexual relationships. If you are struggling to cope with stress, then discuss this issue with a psychologist or psychiatrist. Your (or your partner’s) failures in sexual life are just side effects of some deep problems that can be easily solved.

2. Do sports

How to get rid of sexual frustration? Most mental complications can be eliminated by regular exercises. Such sport as kickboxing, karate, and boxing can be particularly effective. Any sport may help you get away from problems and provide a healthy dose of adrenaline. Try this method if you don’t know how to deal with sexual frustration.

3. Try art or other activities

If you don’t like sports or fitness, then try to do something creative. Such activities can also calm and cause a smile on your face. Moreover, if you reduce the feelings of anxiety, it can improve your well-being in the sexual sphere.

4. Please yourself

Although your noble upbringing can resist this kind of problem-solving, the need for masturbation is quite natural for a person and this is how to relieve sexual frustration. And there is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, this method can be the most effective of all.

5. If your health is bad, then consider all the ways to solve this problem

Complications with the presence of too strong or too weak sexual desire can be eliminated with the help of medicine.

6. Be confident in yourself

Although this doesn’t apply to everyone, there is a possibility that you are just shy about starting a new relationship with someone. If low self-esteem has often been a stumbling block, then strive to overcome this trait of your character. This will help you also overcome sexual dissatisfaction. Don’t give up because it may take some time. When you are dealing with sexual frustration, you have to believe in yourself. Only thus you will succeed.

7. Use toys

It’s not so easy to achieve orgasm for some people, especially for women. It can be quite a discouraging factor. It seems to you that it is natural for a human body to receive satisfaction from another person, but then it’s not all that simple. That’s why there is such a variety of toys that stimulate orgasm and help sexually frustrated people. This kind of invention may seem strange, but actually, it is a matter of habit. You will get a lot of pleasure later.

8. Discuss your “skeletons in the closet” with a sexologist

Yes, it’s not a joke. Professionals of medicine in the field of sex help those who suffer from some overabundance or the lack of sex, as well as people with other problems in the sexual sphere. They can explain to you how to get over sexual frustration.

Sexual frustration is usually manifested in several types of sexual behavior of people: they avoid sex, continue sexual intercourse that doesn’t bring any satisfaction, and make spontaneous attempts to establish a sexual life without understanding that a partner really needs to achieve sexual happiness. Sexual dissatisfaction greatly prevents a person from living and fulfilling vital duties normally. A person becomes gloomy, irritable, eternally dissatisfied with life and the surrounding world; he or she can’t concentrate on work and is perceived by other people as a neurotic and a loser.

What can a person who realizes that serious sexual problems appear in a relationship do? It is necessary to find a way to solve them correctly. Otherwise, there is a risk of losing a relationship. Let’s pay attention to the word “correctly”. The wrong choice and variant of the development of events will be the decision to let things go in the hope that everything will be solved by itself, an attempt to get a lover or mistress or a desire to influence a partner. The correct approach to establishing a harmonious sex life is to make the most important and right things. Namely, to read sexology literature, watch educational films, learn to negotiate with each other, and frankly talk about the things that excite you.