Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Taboo Topic, or Finally Coming Out of the Bathroom

There is one topic people won’t talk about. Especially women. Just won’t talk about it. I’m not referring to AIDS, sexual activity, tampons, incontinence, or erectile dysfunction. Not referring to jock itch, female baldness, unibrows, or tatoos. Oh no. All of these topics are on television commercials, talk shows, and around dinner tables. The topic I’m talking about is …

FEMALE FACIAL HAIR.

No one will talk about it. Not even Oprah will talk about it.

Why? It’s embarrassing, that’s why. When was the last time you saw a runway model with a beard? When was the last time you saw a female star with a mustache? NEVER. It’s considered unfeminine to sport little hairs on the face. God forbid if you have a mole with hair sticking out of it. It’s something your mother never told you about. Because we don’t talk about it.

Well ladies, let’s face it (no pun intended), if you are over 45 and heading into menopause, going through menopause, or finally done with going through menopause, you’ve got facial hair. You lucky ones are the ones with very fine, pale hair. The rest of us are stuck traveling down the path of facial hair removal.

About five years ago there was breaking news of a new drug for women to eliminate facial hair. A friend said “if it’s true, I’M THERE!!!!” Not sure what happened to it exactly. Heard one rumor that it was effective, but the side effect was female baldness. Figures. No wonder it didn’t pass the FDA.

Between eyebrows, the gross hairs on the neck, that are so embedded into the skin it takes a strong pair of tweezers to remove, the mustache that gets courser each year, and then the beard, we women spend a lot of time in the bathroom. We spend this time plucking, snipping, waxing and shaving. Yes, I said shaving.

Now, if this was a male problem, you can bet there would be a solution to this problem. There might even be a decent electric razor to remove FEMALE FACIAL HAIR. Okay, there’s got to be some women out there who have some influence, and who have FEMALE FACIAL HAIR. Ladies, you need to speak up. Oprah, you need to make this a personal campaign.

I for one am stepping out of the bathroom ladies. I HAVE FEMALE FACIAL HAIR AND AM PROUD OF IT. It proves to the world I no longer have estrogen raging through my body. It proves I have reached the age of no more periods, no more fear of pregnancy, no more hot flashes, and no more night sweats. It proves I am ready to possess my own electric razor, not to shave the legs (another story altogether), but to shave my mustache and beard each morning. I have become liberated from hot wax and tweezers around my nose and lips. I am ready to stand in front of the mirror with my husband and shave in unison.

I know you are out there ladies. I have just one friend who broke the ice on the topic several years back, which gave me the courage to buy my own razor. Just one. I have another friend who whispered to me the other night that she has been shaving for a while now. That’s okay, a whisper is better than silence.

Don’t be afraid to admit you have FEMALE FACIAL HAIR. Take courage and go to the store and buy your own razor and use it with pride!TTFN