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Friday, April 22, 2011

Death Star scientists have been hard at work sifting through Earth pop songs to better understand your planet, mostly so we can write accurately about it in the requisite Form 27B/42-QQ: Permission to Kindly and At Great Personal Expense Relocate a Planetary Body to a Higher Plane of Existence.

What we discovered may shock you: First, pop music makes no sense whatsoever.

The other thing we noticed was much more intriguing: If you think about it, the song "Fame" by Irene Cara is 100% about Lord Voldemort. In fact, it's so obviously an ode to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Blamed that it couldn't possibly be about anything else.

He's gonna live forever.

Baby look at me [Baby Harry, obviously]
And tell me what you see

You ain't seen the best of me yet [He's saving that for Book 7]
Give me time I'll make you forget the rest [Confundus charms work wonders]

I got more [evil] in me
And you can set it free [by dying]
I can catch the moon in my hands [Lumos!]
Don't you know who I am?

I feel it [my old body] coming [back] together
People will see me and cry [that does inexplicably happen from time to time]

(Fame)

I'm gonna make it to heaven [heaven=metaphor for being totally awesome]
Light up the sky like a flame [the Dark Mark]

(Fame)

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name [they tend to do that when you kill their parents]

Remember x 8

Baby hold me tight [this bit is about his basilisk, sickos!]
Cause you [Harry] can make it right [by dying]
You can shoot me straight to the top
Give me love [my Horcrux] and take all I've got to give [Avada Kedavra!]

Baby I'll be tough
Too much [world domination] is not enough
I can ride your heart til it breaks [a new spell. Good for parties]
Ooh I got what it takes [they don't call him the Dark LORD for nothing]