Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Almost everyone loves to read ‘that’ newspaper. It kinda good but I’m not really in it. It’s not that I don’t like reading newspaper but ‘that’ kind of newspaper won't do me any good. It tells about artist and a little bit about news about environment and so on compared to New Sabah Times which only provide a page about artist and gives a lot of benefits. I’m not saying it is wrong to read it, well, it’s their choice. Who am I to complain? But what is the purpose of reading artists lifestyle, their scandals, theirs affair and so on? Instead of reading their ‘gossip’ why don’t they read about their achievement?

2. Natural Fear??

I’ve read this text in a psychology book.

Two weeks ago, a bunch of girls were walking over to Alumni Hall for lecture. It was about 7:30 at night and we were walking through the parking lot behind the bell tower. Suddenly a little mouse scuttled across a puddle we were walking around. Perhaps you can imagine the reaction of ten girls: about two were merely interested and rather curious, one said “oh, how cute!” but the rest of us responded with some expression of fear and apprehension, whether it was a scream or a simply a shudder.

Later, I began to think about our reactions. Why should I want to turn and flee from timorous little thing who is at least fifty times smaller than I? After some thought, I’ve decided that it is doubtful that female fear of mice is instinctual, like cat’s desire to go after a bird. If fear of mice is a learned attitude, from whom or where did I learn it?

Toilet is the first place I visited during recess. Few weeks ago, when I was about to entered the toilet I heard a scream. Guess what, someone was screaming because she saw a jumping frog. The frog was brown and cute. Have you ever heard someone who is formally dead because of a jumping frog? None hu. Then, what to scream for? But I don’t blame them. I had my own fear too – but not that kind. The worst part was all of her friends do the same. Are all of them scared of the little frog or because they are girls and girl suppose to avoid, scream and afraid of that kind of adorable amphibian?

3. Couple

I’m sorry but I hate some of it. Again, “S.O.M.E”. They are absolutely blind. Some of them do but some survive. Early in this morning, I saw a girl holding a folio and waiting for her boy to come and pick it. Okaylah if they wanted to do it together. But what if she finished it and he copied it? Which is better, a girl does her boyfriend’s homework or a girl helps her boyfriend to finish his homework? Which shows a greater love? Ha! I’m talking about love! Lame! Me? Jealous? Not even a bit.

Anyway, last night some one confessed his love to me. Wakakaka! His words were full of liar, description about himself. Are any of his words true? I don’t know and I don’t hell care.

Anyway, the things I hate about them was when a girl found out that her boy cheated on her and she still wanted him even he does it a few times. Ya, some deserve second changes but not all the time. Let me tell you a story. A girl, let us called her as A and another girl, as B are sharing a boy as their boyfriend. This boyfriend has a lot more girlfriends and B too and A is kinda loyal but she is thinking of finding someone else but still confused about her feeling. So both of the girls are fighting for that boy and B doesn’t fight because she loved him but because she doesn’t want to be defeated by A. A wanted the boy because she was ‘in love’ with him. – I guess. A was thinking of dropping out of school because she can’t concentrate on her studied, because of him and B leave her boyfriend-she-love-the-most to win that fight. Do tell me any of their actions show what L.O.V.E is.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

This year, I’m 19. Am I old? Being 19 is frustrating. By next year, they’ll welcome me to ‘their’ group. Am I afraid?? No, I’m not. Fear is not it. I'm not sure if I can be, act, think and so on as an adult. Everyone is talking about soulmate at this stage. I don’t hell care about it, maybe someday, but not now. Long way to go. Seeing some of them are taking seriously in their relationship make me fell that I am old. But most of the conversation I hated so much was with this “guy”. He is somewhere I-don’t-care, and said that when he finished studying and came back at this place, lots of us were married. What the hell is on his mind! I’m in form6 doesn’t mean that I don’t have future! Let’s take a look 5years in the future and if that happen on me you can say out loud “I told you so!”

But that is not my point.

When I was a little girl, I used to go to the market with my grandma. The part that I love the most is pretending to called her when she was having a conversation with friends. I called her ‘Ma’ – all of her grandchildren call her this way. Then her friends will ask her “anak ko ka ne?’ of course la she reply “ndala. Anak bongsu sa punya anak ba ne”. Then they reply ‘ohh.besar sda anak c Jack. Yang dulu kana dukung2 lagi. Skarang jalan-jalan sda d kadai”.

Then, when I grew older and whenever I met a family of mine – haven’t met for few years, I’ll get the same ‘compliment’. It happens sometimes when I met someone I haven’t met so long.

Well, at this stage, I can do the same. At least there’s one thing I like about being 19. haha. I then understand why they came out with that kind of sentences. Time past quickly. In a blink of an eye, I’m 19 and those who are 6 when I was in form1, now they are in Year 6. When I first be friend with Kellie, she was a young, with ‘brown’ middle teeth, and shorter. Now, she is almost as my size and I can imagine what will happen 4 years from now. (I’m short but it’s okay)

Well, those who are older than me, I am expecting you to guide me on how to endure life in this stage. Don’t tell me how to walk the walk but tell me what is on the road. For I’m kinda stubborn but I'll keep it in my mind as an alert.