Slavoj Zizek is a Communist, Marxist, and an UFOlogist who cut his teeth during the dictatorship of Marshal Tito, and yearns to go back to brush them further.

Zizek is also regarded as a philosopher. Zizek pretty much disagrees with capitalism and is an advocate for Stalinism, which he claims would solve the problem. According to Zizek, all the problems in modern society are built on the intractable problems of capitalism. He calls for its overthrow in a Bolshevist revolution. After that, we'll figure out what to do next.

Zizek denies that he advocates Stalinism, but he does pose in front of portraits of Stalin with a big smile on his face, which he claims is merely his cynicism.

Zizek also researches Kesel. He has said that Kesel is constantly searching for something unreal. Unfortunately, Zizek hasn't found himself yet.

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Zizek has had a catastrophic influence on society, because he is unaware of his personality disorder. It is paranoia, which he has acquired from his religion, UFOlogy. These delusions may have a negative influence on others, both Communists and civilians.

Zizek has a contradictory personality. On the one hand, he isn't a Stalinst, on the other hand he admires Stalin without even admitting it. This is a sign of the de-personalisation that is well-known in psychiatry. Add to that de-realisation: a total loss of reality, as when he uses a teacup as a proxy for Hegel.

A harsh diagnosis? Zizek says about himself:

Write this down: we thought that we were dealing with a vulgar fascist, but it seemed worse.

At least he is up to introspection, though the insight proves he is incomprehensible — his main feature, considering the Hegelian influence. This is the real Zizek, as he makes clear how politically incorrect statements are correct to him. This is a typical statement of a fascist. In his introspection, Zizek could not find anything in himself. If he could, he would realise that something just isn't right.

Zizek's book The Sublime Object of Ideology deals with postmodernism, which is to say the ideology of the era after modernism, which is to say the ideology of people who haven't thought it up yet. Also, UFOs. Zizek cites the psychoanalyst Lacan, who dislikes Freud, which only proves he depends on Freud's work. Zizek's book is a psychoanalytical theory about ideology. That is, it is Zizek "talking trash" to his political adversaries. He writes that we are very cynical. It is not being cynical when Zizek does it. It is being analytical.

Zizek is a famous UFOlogist. In his famous work For They Know Not What They Do, he criticised politicians who have kept UFOs a secret from the population. Zizek thinks UFOs should be made public. In The Plague of Fantasies, Zizek relates fantasies and ideologies, and claims that, as UFOs are associated with fantasy, they have insufficient influence on society. The first appendix to this work includes an appeal for E.T. to solve the national debt.

Zizek surely realizes that the civilisations of extraterrestrials are mostly based on Communist ideology. The civilians of Jupiter live in communities (kibbutzim), lately adopted by the Jews in Israel. The main difference between Jupiterians and the kibbutzim is that Jupiterians aren't at war with all their neighbours.

His contact with Grey extraterrestrials has given Zizek insight on how Communism, implented in a modern society, can work, without succumbing to pitfalls like those that Thomas More described in Utopia. The extraterrestrials succeeded in creating the perfect society by doing the opposite of what humans always do. Zizek argues that all humans would have to do is simply do the opposite of what humans always do.

Zizek has performed much analysis of pop culture. For instance, he has stated that The Sound of Music is fascist, notwithstanding the notorious attempt of the musical Trapp family to escape fascism. The world still awaits Zizek's verdict on Sponge Bob and the Teletubbies.

Zizek, or the way Tolstoy would have looked if the Reds had not executed all the good barbers.

Do you see a relation?

One theory, called the Zizek-Tolstoy conspiracy (as it is shrouded in secrecy), holds that Zizek and Tolstoy are related. Zizek is claimed to be Tolstoy's second cousin. This theory gains support from Zizek's strong resemblance to Tolstoy and other members of his family.

Tolstoy thought that he was a prophet, just as Zizek does. Both announced innovations and both think their ideas are based on Christianity.

However, Tolstoy based his ideas on the Sermon, while Zizek bases his on himself, also on the ideas he has received from extraterrestrials.

As Occam had a Razor, Zizek has a Gillette plastic safety blade that he always brings to lectures, though as a further token of his hypocrisy, he never uses on his own beard. The blade makes him think of his grandma, who had the grooming tool first. Scholars do not know what use Grandma may have made of it, and the answer really doesn't justify exhuming her.