Tag Archive: nihilism

Well, I suppose I ought to reveal my actual religious background, and what I believe at the moment. You know, just so you can gain a true insight into what a pleasant individual I am.

My parents are pretty much agnostic, though my fathers side of the family is pretty strongly Anglican, which showed, through my grandmother and to a lesser extent, grandfather. On my mother’s side, my nan was heavily Christian, and I never met my grandad, on account of him being dead. That kind of makes it hard to meet up and discuss these kinds of things.

Anywho, my parents always made a point never to really shove any religion on me, since they don’t really care. My grandparents, though, were another story, and after a while, it rubbed off on me.

I was a believer as a child, as far back as I can remember, up until the age of about 15, when I realised I didn’t really believe anymore, but still wanted to. I had a minor crisis of faith, where I desperately tried to cling onto my belief in dear old God, but alas, I realised I was agnostic, and after a while, I didn’t really care anymore. I became apathetic, like most British people seem to be, regarding religion.

Once I started college, I started to gain more of an interest in religion, and the possibility of there being any deities. I did a little research, and alot of thinking. I eventually came to the conclusion there is absolutely NO evidence to condone the belief in any kind of god, and realised I was in fact, an atheist! Taa-daaaah!

I was fine being an atheist for a while, then, about a year or so ago, I started pondering the purpose and meaning of life, and began to think about the universe itself. After really thinking hard, I came to the conclusion I’m a nihilist. A moral and existential nihilist, to be precise. Basically, I believe life has no intrinsic value or meaning to it, instead, people have to give it their own personal meaning, with religion, or whatever.

I also believe there is no set moral code, and as such, morals are man-made, and are simply a system of controlling the people. Admittedly, this system of control is needed, or we’d have died out eons ago.

I now am 100% certain there is no God. I know it’s rare, and kind of arrogant, for an atheist to say, but I literally cannot logically see any way a deity could exist. There is no evidence for anything supernatural, and I can’t see there being any evidence popping up any time soon.

The other thing is, God is literally getting smaller as the years go by. The need for God is dwindling in peoples lives, as we make new discoveries. The gaps are being filled, and this leaves no place for God. The only reason people are hanging on to him is for stability, warmth and comfort, much like a fat man in a wind tunnel.

So, now you know. You’re reading the ramblings of a completely nihilistic young weirdo, who believes in nothing but the physical… and unless you can present evidence to the contrary… it’s gonna stay that way.

Now, I must get some kip, as I start my new job in the morning. Take it easy.

I thought I’d best introduce myself on here, to those of you who may not know me. I’m Adam, more commonly known as Ayersy, to most people. I’m a young, misanthropic guy from south east England, and here is my story… *Wavy flashback effect.*

I was born at a very young age, in Ashford, Kent, where I still reside to this very day.

I was raised by my parents, who I still live with, at this point in time (I’m working on that.), in the same house, all my life. The view outside is pretty dull, the same damn phonebox is still there from my youth, and the stupid house across the road still has that unruly hedge.

I attended a small playschool nearby my house as a child, where I first met one of my best and oldest friends, Kevin. Alcohol has killed off most of my memories, and as such, I don’t have any interesting stories to divulge of my childhood, besides falling off the bouncy castle, and then crying to the teacher for about a solid hour. I then moved onto Willesborough Infant School, where my mother used to work, and still occasionally does, when there is work there. My dad always has worked in the same factory since before I was born. School was very dull, and as such, again, no interesting stories.

I then moved onto Willesborough Junior School, where I excelled only at English and science, which makes sense, now, really. I was always rubbish at anything remotely physical, and as such, was absolutely pants at PE class, so I used to try and get out of it, whenever possible. Then, the bloody North School. I don’t know why I hated that place so much, really. I met many of my very good friends there, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but at the time I detested the place. It really was (And probably still is) a very poor school, but even so, I may have overreacted a little bit. Again, I only excelled in English, English Literature, and science, and again, I performed horribly in PE, mainly because I got pretty fat. I also sucked at French, and even now I barely remember any of it.

After learning how to effectively use a computer during my IT courses in school, I moved onto Canterbury College, where I further studied computing, and this was when I started to gain an interest in religion (This is important, so I’ll focus on this later). After getting through a nifty 2 year course in ICT, I moved on to get a Higher National Diploma in ICT at the same college… Also, during my time at college, I discovered the wonders of alcohol! YAY! My parents had always let me drink at home, even as a child, they had a theory that if they kind of desensitized me to booze then I wouldn’t be a binge-drinker when I was older… How wrong they were. I soon discovered the fun that an alcohol-soaked night out with friends could bring. I slowly developed a slight reputation as an alcoholic, something I’ve actually been kinda proud of, in my own strange way.

That course sucked. I didn’t even finish the first year, and so I flunked out of college, only to work with my brother in-law delivering leaflets for the next few years. I hated/loved the job. It was nice to just walk around on my own delivering leaflets, and contemplating the universe, and the exercise was good, but I hated being told what to do by my brother in-law, plus I didn’t want to get tied down to a career. I carried on with that for a while until the work ran out, then I was a professional bum for a short amount of time, before getting some temp work at a few local warehouses, until I got made redundant for having a dodgy leg (An injury which continues to cause me pain to this day, and I reveal the story another time).

It was shortly after this that I entered into my first semi-serious relationship with someone at the time who I thought was absolutely great. This actually caused me to temporarily drop my misanthropic views and give people a chance at not pissing me off. Things were great for a while and I was genuinly happy. I was trying my hardest to stop being my normal grumpy self, and make them happy. I even abandoned my normal stubborn/argumentative nature, as well as cutting down on my drinking. I was smitten. Let’s just say things went very bad, very fast, and I got hurt, big time. I was a mess for a few months after this, during which my drinking got even worse than normal, and I was still unable to find work, furthering my depression woes. Eventually, though, I rediscovered my misanthropic, anti-theistic ways, and started to feel more like my old, grumpy self again. That brings us up to a couple of months ago now, when I realised I was starting to develop a huge interest in religion, and discussing and debating it, which is the reason for creating this blog.

If you’re actually still reading this, well done. You win a cookie! I’ll mainly use this blog for my anti-theistic rants, but occasionally I’ll perhaps just drop in some stupid thoughts that pop into my head, or anything funny that I think of at the time. Mainly, though, it’ll be religious. I’ll explain my religious beliefs, both past and present, in another blog. Really, with this blog, I want to generate some conversations, so if anyone has any opinions on what I have to say, please, by all means, leave some comments, and let me know what you think.

Buckle your seatbelts, people, we’re going on a mildly fast ride with a few twists and turns, maybe a few roundabouts and some traffic lights, oh, and that pedestrian crossing where that guy with the wonkey eyes always crosses with his bike every thursday.