just those first few weeks

i posted this poem on bounty and haylet b spotted it and said she thought it b nice if i came here and posted it as well.
when i had my m/c 3 months a go i found 4 different poems i liked so i took a bit from each one and made it in2 one that said what i felt. i then buried my pregnancy test with the poem as i didnt wont to just throw it away.

how do i say goodbuy... when i didnt get to say hello?
i wanted to keep you so badly... how do i let go?

for those few weeks-
i had you to myself
and that seems to short a time
to be changed so profoundly

i never got to hold you but it breaks my heart to let you go
the pain and confusion i feel inside
i cannot explain... i cannot describe.

when i lost you i lost a lifetimes of hopes,
plans, dreams and asperations...
a slice of my future simply vanished over nite.

you'll be my sunshine in the daytime and the brightest star at nite
i was blessed to have you briefly.. evan thoe i have to let go
i wish i knew the reason but i guess i'll never know.

it wasnt enough time to convince others
how important and special you were.
how odd, a truly unique person has recently died
and noone is morning the passing.

no 'normal' person would cry all nite
over a tiny unfinshed baby,
or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
no one would, so why am i?

just know our love goes deep and strong
we'll never forget you never-
the child we had, but never had,
and yet will have forever.

I feel exactly the same Shell.
Me and DH were talking the other day, and he said "you are pressuring yourself too much, and you feel like a failure cos you've lost babies, and you think its the most important thing to me....." he then added "I can live without babies, i couldn't live without you"

Think sometimes we need to think about ourselves more, grieve, and take the pressure off a smidge..... Just never let go of your dreams

Thought i'd share it with you cos you might be able to relate to it.
At the moment we're not TTC, but we're not trying to avoid pregnancy.
Although i am still temping and charting but thats for the consultant not for us.... and must admit the BDing is so much more relaxed now, cos we're not pinning hopes on every little spermie!!! hehe!!!

oh girlies, massive big snuggly cuddles to both of you...we will all get there and we will all have the babies we so desire, its just mother nature making sure our stork has extra special bundle for us all...
kisses bxox

what a lovely poem it really hit home for me. it means so much to me to talk about my lost baby but my fiance won't discuss it as its too soon for him as he's already lost his mother this year in February to cancer. were going to stay away from baby making till we marry in a year which should give him time to grieve for both baby and his mum. we went and put flowers down on his mum's grave on Sunday and put some down for the baby too and asked his mum to take care of our baby for us he seemed really at peace with that gesture and when we get married i'm having a two part bouquet made up for his mum and the baby to be put down after the ceremony so they know that they will be in our hearts on our special day. good luck to you trying to conceive again. xxx

Awww 4evahopeful.
Thats such a sweet thing to do with the bouquet!
I left mine on Grahams grandad's grave.
I want to go to the baby garden part of the cemetery to put flowers down, i think i need to as part of my grieving process.

Please post in here about your Angel, we'd love to give you support and somewhere to come and chat

thank you so much for the lovely things you have been saying and for sharing your stories it is nice to know there someone that understands how it feels, and not just be thinking that i should be getting over it by now!!! althoe noone has said that to my face i know people think it.x

Shell, i miscarried in February, and this time i can't seem to pick myself up from it at all.
I have been off work on and off since then, and haven't been in work at all since the end of June.
Everyone heals at their own speed, and i'm like you i feel like people look at me like "you should so be over it by now" but i just can't move forward, am really struggling day to day.

Lots of hugs for you, we're all here for you if you need to rant or cry or just ramble on