The Yale Daily News has uncovered a bombshell: The University Dining Services-operated Thain Family Cafe secretly replaced its caffeinated espresso with decaf beans. They've been serving useless, unstimulating brown water to caffeine-fiending students since April 15, with no intention of revealing the ruse. This scrappy student paper got their hands on the documents that prove it: "An unsigned letter received by the News last week included a supposed photocopy of a Thain Café logbook entry from Feb. 29 that reads: 'We will also run out of reg. espresso and French roast most likely—secretly use decaf espresso to substitute the espresso—for the French, I don't know—I think we'll just have to be out.'" Cafe Manager Brian Yezierski denied the charges. But! Journalism!

Another former Thain worker, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said she accidentally discovered the substitution while on duty last month.

"Someone had ordered a shot, specifically decaf, and I saw one of the regular workers put a shot of what I thought was regular caf into it," said the former worker. "Later, she told me they were the same."

Plus! Expert opinion!

According to Roland Griffiths, a professor of behavioral biology and neuroscience at Johns Hopkins University and an expert on the study of caffeine, caffeinated and decaffeinated espresso would have markedly different effects on people who drank them.