Frank Zappa quotes

I was seeing an oxymoron here in politics...........
The U.S. government, The Entertainment Division of the Military-Industrial Complex
It has never mattered to me that thirty million people might think Im wrong. The number of people who thought Hitler was right did not make him right.
If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll gonna murder you in your sleep
The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500yrs of Dark Ages-1981
Lets not be too tough on our own Ignorance, its the thing that makes America great. If America wern't incomparably ignorant, how could we have tolerated the last eight years?-1988
A mind is like a parachute. It doesnt work if its not open
Who are the brain police?
One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change peoples minds.
The U.S. is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

Well, apparently I need a tube of K.Y. for you too. So tell me, where is the oxymoron? I guess since I'm not a paranoid ass I don't deserve to fly Frank for an avatar.
Remember when he took on Tipper in the congressional meetings? He was a long way from being a boot licking democrat!

But you forgot what I was sayiní
ícause youíre an asshole, youíre an asshole
Thatís right
Youíre an asshole, youíre an asshole
Yes, yes
Youíre an asshole, youíre an asshole
Thatís right
Youíre an asshole, youíre an asshole

I knew u come along. I l ove it when he told old tipper off that was great..
The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or other wise, opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs based on things certain christians do not like, what if the next bunch of Washington wives demand large yellow J on all material written or performed by jews.

But you forgot what I was sayiní
ícause youíre an asshole, youíre an asshole
Thatís right
Youíre an asshole, youíre an asshole
Yes, yes
Youíre an asshole, youíre an asshole
Thatís right
Youíre an asshole, youíre an asshole

relevant? maybe, maybe not...but i've taken some vicodin and had a little bit of the ganja...and this song cracks me up...

Flakes! Flakes!
Flakes! Flakes!

They don't do no good
They never be workin'
When they oughta should
They waste your time
They're wastin' mine
California's got the most of them
Boy, they got a host of them
Swear t'God they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t'God they got the most
At every business on the coast
They got the Flakes

Flakes! Flakes!

They can't fix yer brakes
You ask 'em, "Where's my motor?"
"Well it was eaten by snakes . . ."
You can stab 'n' shoot 'n' spit
But they won't be fixin' it
They're lyin' an' lazy
They can be drivin' you crazy
Swear t'God they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t'God they got the most
At every business on the coast
[Take it away, Bob. . .]

I asked as nice as I could
If my job would
Somehow be finished by Friday
Well, the whole damn weekend
Came 'n' went, Frankie
[Wanna buy some mandies, Bob?]
'N'they didn't do nothin'
But they charged me double for Sunday
You know, no matter what you do
They gonna cheat 'n' rob you
Then they'll send you a bill
That'll get your senses reelin'
And if you do not pay
They got computer collectors
That'll get you so crazy
Til your head'll go through th' ceilin'
Yes it will!

I'm a moron 'n' this is my wife
She's frosting a cake
With a paper knife
All what we got here's
American made
It's a little bit cheesey,
But it's nicely displayed
Well we don't get excited when it
Crumbles 'n' breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some Flakes
They rush on over
'N' wreck it some more
'N' we are so dumb
They're linin' up at our door
Well, the toilet went crazy
Yesterday afternoon
The plumber he says
"Never flush a lampoon!"
This great information
Cost me half a week's pay
And the toilet blew up
Later on the next day ay-eee-ay
Blew up the next day WOO-OOO

We are millions 'n' millions
We're coming to get you
We're protected by unions
So don't let it upset you
Can't escape the conclusion
It's probably God's Will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill
And we are the people
Who will make it all happen
While yer children is sleepin',
Yer puppy is crappin'
You might call us Flakes
Or something else you might coin us
But we know you're so greedy
That you'll probably join us
We're comin' to get you, we're comin' to get you
We're comin' to get you, we're comin' to get you
We're comin' to get you, we're comin' to get you
We're comin' to get you, we're comin' to get you

I knew u come along. I l ove it when he told old tipper off that was great..
The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or other wise, opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs based on things certain christians do not like, what if the next bunch of Washington wives demand large yellow J on all material written or performed by jews.

Just seeing his picture brought back memorys...psy

The BEST part of the debate had to have been when he had Tipper on the ropes regarding censorship, he comes Al Gore. "Ah, Mr. Zappa, I've been a big fan of yours for years and own all your albums!". I'll bet that boy didn't get no Tipper action for a year!!!

I want a nasty little jewish princess
With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
A horny little jewish princess
With a garlic aroma that could level tacoma
Lonely inside
Well, she can swallow my pride

I want a hairy little jewish princess
With a brand new nose, who knows where it goes
I want a steamy little jewish princess
With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums
I donít want no troll
I just want a yemenite hole

I want a darling little jewish princess
Who donít shit about cooking and is arrogant looking
A vicious little jewish princess
To specifically happen with a pee-pee thatís snappiní
All up inside
I just want a princess to ride
Awright, back to the top...everybody twist

I want a funky little jewish princess
A grinder; a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper
A brazen little jewish princess
With titanic tits, and sand-blasted zits
She can even be poor
So long as she does it with four on the floor
(vapor-lock)

I want a dainty little jewish princess
With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters
A fragile little jewish princess
With roumanian thighs, who weasels íní lies
For two or three nights
Wonít someone send me a princess who bites
Wonít someone send me a princess who bites
Wonít someone send me a princess who bites
Wonít someone send me a princess who bites

Back when I was 16 I used to play Broken Hearts are for Assholes every time me and my girl friend parked! Damn, brings back some good memories!!! I used to have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Pounding thighs listening to that shit....LOL!!!

The function of government ought to be: make sure you have good water to drink, somebody picking up the garbage, good roads to drive on, enough electricity to turn your light bulbs and your record player on, and whatever smaller amounts of regulatory assistance is necessary to make this society work.
Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993), Interview with this submitter, New York City, 5/08/1980

I'm interested in the capitalistic way of life, and the reason I like it better than anything else I've seen so far is because competition produces results. Every socialistic type of government where the State theoretically owns everything, and everybody does their little part to help the State, inevitably produces bad art, it produces social inertia, it produces really unhappy people, and it is more repressive than any other kind of government.
Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993), Interview with this submitter, New York City, 5/08/1980

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993)

I'll give you a simple formula for straightening out the problems of the United States. First, you tax the churches. You take the tax off of capital gains and the tax off of savings. You decriminalize all drugs and tax them same way as you do alcohol. You decriminalize prostitution. You make gambling legal. That will put the budget back on the road to recovery, and you'll have plenty of tax revenue coming in for all of your social programs, and to run the army.
Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993), Interview with this submitter, New York City, 5/08/1980

If he's got Cruising With Ruben and the Jets on vinyl, grab it - the remix done in 1984, which is what the CD consists of, is not considered as good as the original recording.

I've still got my original vinyl copy, from 1968. It's mostly Zappa's take on 50's R&R, with some very strange timings and musical references that are way beyond anything done before, or since, in that genre. Theres a Zappa wah-wah guitar solo on one of this album's songs that's jaw dropping, to say the least.