If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.- Dan Quayle~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Punography

I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aphorisms

It's not whether you win or lose,but how you place the blame.

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floorwithout holding on.

We have enough "youth".How about a fountain of "smart"?

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party

When blondes have more fun,do they know it?

Five days a week my body is a temple.The other two it's an amusement park.

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKESUSE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn't everything,but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Don't Drink and DriveYou might hit a bump and spill something.

If at first you don't succeedskydiving is not for you

Reality is only an illusionthat occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

We are born naked, wet and hungry.Then things get worse.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyersgive the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will mergeto produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto:

At least we're not Mississippi

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NOMATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows thatthree out of four people makeup 75% of the population

"You know why a banana is like a politician?""He comes in and first he is green,then he turns yellowand then he's rotten."

"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we couldidentify their corporate sponsors."The reason Politicians try sohard to get re-elected is that theywould 'hate' to have to make a livingunder the laws they've passed.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning everyboomie.

If Sunday was my day off, and it was, then this is vacation day 2.

Yesterday after my son got here, he was very tired from traveling all night, and had to take a two hour nap, so I went to Lowe's and bought paint, and came back home and painted the kitchen ceiling.

My sister couldn't believe I did it while they were at the doctors office.

Can my vacation days get any more exciting?

We'll see today.

We did go to the creek and after an hour or two of that in 90 degrees Josh from Portland had had enough.

So had I.

Day two........shall we dance?

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

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"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." Will Rogers

Good morning everyone. We were without power most of the day yesterday while the main breaker box outside and a smaller one inside were changed. The old ones were out dated and now outlawed. Then Scott changed out a toilet. Donald took care of a tree limb that broke off in the storm, and was caught on the power drop to the house. A busy but productive day. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Tuesday. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, and French Toast in the NC.

Good morning.I'm still watching the news about the Marathon. Still unbelievable. Prayers to all injured and their families. Wow. So close to home. I have a friend who ran in the race. I'll call him today.

It's gray out there, but hopefully the day will bring some blue sky and sunshine. I know I have laundry and books...not sure what else but if I wait patiently, I will know by the time I head to bed tonight.

Joe, love all the funnies. How long is son staying?

Haroula, have a great day.

Cailyn, thanks for the coffee.

Evelyne, fingers crossed for your objects. Hoping they will all be beautiful and just exaclty as you intended.

Gerry, back at ya!

Gail, what are you up to today?

Connie, you all did have a busy day. What is up for today?

Midgy, hugs....

Edited by looney4labs (04/16/1310:00 AM)

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

Back from our walk. It is hot hot hot but the grey is gone The young boys got new backpacks last night and they were quite worn out by the time we finished. I made a conscious effort to walk slowly and to take shorter steps and to walk in the grass. I also noticed that in my normal walking I walk more on the outside of my foot, so let my foot do what it wanted and No Pain

Then home to feed everyone and change, and now will discover what I want to do today.

_________________________
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras