Make better mistakes tomorrow

the problem is, i’m not sure who i’m expecting on the other end. you see, the entire night, i’ve sat here. checking facebook every few minutes. imaging that my phone is vibrating and a message has come in. going to various blogs to see if there are any updates. none, none, none.

i want to pick up the phone and shoot out a message to someone, but i don’t know who on my list to choose. not because i don’t trust anyone on my list, but because i just don’t know what i will say. i want to send out an email or fb message, but there’s no one in particular i can explain myself to. i feel like sending something ambiguous like a sad face and waiting for them to reply with a “why ?”. but like i said, i don’t know what i will reply.

i’m desperate for some human contact now. i just want to talk to someone, anyone. but at the same time, i want to be left alone, because if anyone talks to me, i won’t know what to say and i don’t think i want to say anything at all. that’s why i don’t know who i’m waiting for.

i guess i just want someone who won’t ask for an explanation. but just know. someone that i can send a sad face to and he/she’ll just send a sad face back. and not expect anything else back. mutual understanding. to not receive a comment like “cheer up!”, cos i’m not sad.