Sunday, July 29, 2007

So I bought a sun hat for my baby, because I'm all about the sun protection. My dissertation is on skin cancer prevention, after all (ha!). It is way too big for him, but makes a cute picture.

It will look even cuter when he is 12 and it fits him.

I have this whole thing that raccoons are my power animal since I seem to see them at times of important decision. And look! I'm intelligent! Assertive! Confident! The other night two of them got into a huge fight in our yard, the day I had to make a decision about day care vs. babysitter. I was surprisingly torn up about it. And the raccoons appeared, had their fight, and I was calmed and knew just what we had to do, even if it meant firing a perfectly wonderful babysitter that we had just hired. See it was all about having the confidence to make a good choice for us even if it wasn't best for everyone. It was actually about making a choice that would benefit me personally, and cost my husband more money in child care and my baby more time away from me. And this is not the first time that raccoons have appeared to me in times of trouble. So I do think there is something there, with me and the raccoons. But then, they had to go and ruin our little moment by breaking into our yard again last night. And what spiritual guidance am I supposed to glean from this?

Saturday, July 28, 2007

We were in Best Buy today. Ack! We keep our forays into Americana to a minimum, because we just don't thrive in malls and traffic and chain stores, etc. I do appreciate the convenience of parking right where you shop, but these trips do tend to make me tired and cranky. And when J and I go there together it is much worse, we feed off each other and end up miserable. But we need (need? want) a new CD player, and so there we were. And there was a fire alarm, like a real one. And the whole store had to evacuate, fire trucks and the whole thing. As we were leaving, we heard a woman ask, can I just buy this stuff first? We had a moment of solemn reflection at the state of American Saturday afternoon commerce and at how easy it is to ignore fire alarms. The staff, as it happens, told her no, but they would hold it for her. Our solemn reflection, unfortunately, took the form of us self-righteously saying, WHAT? Can you BELIEVE that? And mocking her, "the fire is at the back, right, so I can just pay for this up front" and such. See, J and I should not go into Americana together. We turn into horrible people.

I like to cook.I am in the final painful stages of completing my dissertation.I have a nice husband.I read novels.I recycle. But I think it's the law in Seattle.We have overgrown blackberries in our backyard.

I am 34. I can't believe I'm 34 because the last time I checked, I was 32. Then I got pregnant and then I birthed a baby (I TOTALLY birthed a baby!) and took care of him for awhile, and then ooop there's another birthday. What happened?

I can't figure out how on EARTH I am going to balance work and life. To be away from my baby is like leaving home without my arm. But when he is with me all the time I get kind of bored, as you would with your arm for company. Here's another toy! Here's a book with four cardboard pages! He starts in day care next week. It all seems completely unreasonable.