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How to Break Your Resolutions in Style

Congrats on all those resolutions you made yesterday. Inspired. Ambitious, even. Now, let’s get to
breaking them. Below, the rocks on which your <em>Good Ship Resolution</em> will crash and perish.

RESOLUTION: EAT HEALTHIER

Anti-Resolution: A Huge Sandwich

The only logical question at Fat Pete’s Barbecue: “What would Fat Pete do?” The answer: probably eat a
sandwich called the Belly Buster, with smoked bologna, a half pound each of pulled pork and
brisket, candied bacon, BBQ sauce and mac and cheese. Okay, it’s more of a knife-and-fork operation.

Anti-Resolution: A 40-Ounce Cocktail

You can get enormous libations at the new McClellan’s Retreat if you know to ask for them. See, the
bartenders have these 40-ounce shakers behind the bar, and if you’re with a group, you can see what
cocktails they’ll whip up for you in large-batch formats. Time to test your definition of a “group.”

Anti-Resolution: Once-a-Year Cigars

The full-size smokes in this box contain 10 tobacco leaves, versus an average of six to eight in most
cigars. And you get another 10, one for each of the component tobaccos to create the blend. Might want to
ration these, because they’re only available once a year.

Anti-Resolution: Better Vices

You’re very deserving, making it through another year and all. And what you deserve is this: five courses
of game in Pinea’s dark, downstairs root cellar. Oh, and each course is paired with a different expression
of Pappy Van Winkle, from 10 year to 23 year. We buried the lead there.

Anti-Resolution: Amazing Safe-Deposits

Now open to house your coin collection... or some one-of-a-kind photos... or your stash of microfilm that
proves a global conspiracy... it’s this concierge-staffed storage facility, filled with private vaults and
safe-deposit boxes. Yes, it’s secure. No, they won’t ask you for your Social Security number.