Category Archives: Men

A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, we wouldn’t be here at all!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn’t on a honeymoon, nor would there be any “we” in the first place.”

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up.

But then the wife stops and says, “I don’ t feel like it. I just want you to hold me.”

The husband says ” WHAT???” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman.

The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. He walks around and had her try on three very expensive outfits. And then tells his wife, We ‘ll take all three of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth $200 each.

And then goes to the jewelry Dept. and gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care). She goes for the tennis bracelet.

The husband says “but you don ‘t even play tennis, but OK if you like it then lets get it.’

The wife is jumping up and down. So excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says ” I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register. ”

The husband says, ” no no no, honey we’re not going to buy all this stuff.” The wife face goes blank.

” No honey – I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.”

Her face gets really red she is about to explode and then the husband says ” You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a MAN!”

A man named Bill woke up on his birthday. His wife and kids didn’t even say good morning to him. So, he left for work in a huff. His receptionist, Joanna, said happy birthday.
“Thanks, Joanna. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me all day.” Bill relied, pleased. So he worked until his lunch break, when Joanna asked if he fancied a lunch. Instead of taking their usual lunch just outside, they went to a big beautiful bistro.
” My apartment is just around the corner. Would you like to visit?” Joanna asked. “Sure, why not?” Bill replied. At her apartment, Bill sat down on the couch. Joanna said she’d be right back and stepped into the bedroom. Minutes later, she came back out followed by Bills family, friends, and co-workers. Bill just sat there… naked.