As you and your family gather 'round your tree and sing carols (or throw eggnog at each other, depending on your level of dysfunction), spare a thought for Justin Bieber, who never got to know the joy of Christmas when he was a little drummer boy:

My mom always told me there wasn't a Santa. This was her logic: She thought if I grew up knowing about Santa then finding out he wasn't real, that it would be like she was lying to me. And then when she told me about God, I maybe wouldn't believe her. So she just wanted to be straight-up and honest with me all the time. But I didn't tell my friends or ruin it for anyone — I was a good kid!

Yes, we've all had the experience of finding out that Santa wasn't real and it shaking us to our spiritual core. Gah. Anyway, this certainly explains why he's been acting like an adult since he was a tiny Bieby. [Aol Music]

The National League of Junior Cotillions, which surprisingly still exists in this lazy day and age, has named Kate Middleton the Best-Mannered Person of 2011. According to the NLJC national director Elizabeth Anne Winters, the rankings are based on famous peoples' "demonstration of dignity, honor and respect." But where there are highs, there must be lows. And, as usual, Kim Kardashian stands at the ready to occupy the bottom rung of any dignity competition. The organization has given her the ultimate diss, naming her the Most Ill-Mannered Person of the year. This slam will surely be the final straw that will cause her to reflect on her less than honorable behavior and change her ways at once. [Us Weekly]

Speaking of Kim Kardashian's dignity, she had a wonderful time on her charity trip to Haiti. Last night at the opening of the new Kardashian Khaos boutique (the name of that store just never gets old!), she said she's eager to bring the whole family back to Haiti with her. They'd probably unleash a new, even scarier kind of Kardashian Khaos on the struggling country. Haven't the people there suffered enough already? [E! Online]

Ellen DeGeneres is buying Brad Pitt's old house in Malibu. He was asking $13.5 million, but she's only paying $12 million. It's the four-bedroom place Pitt bought after he and Jennifer Aniston divorced—and where he and Angelina Jolie "settled in as a couple." Perhaps Ellen and Portia De Rossi will still be able to sense some of Brangelina's magical energy flowing through the house as they pad along what Radar is calling "echo friendly" bamboo flooring. Hahaha, can you imagine how annoying it'd be if your floors actually echoed everything you said. "Honey-oney-oney-oney, can you bring me some water-ater-ater-ater…" [Radar]

Maybe Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith aren't headed for divorce, but TMZ says they did have all sorts of "tension" during a bad stretch this summer. Apparently they were fighting over how to handle the growing fame of their children Jaden and Willow. But, rest easy, everything is back to normal now, whatever that means. [TMZ]

Is Jay-Z planning to drive his child around in an armored vehicle? A "source" has said that he consulted Tom Cruise on how best to protect his growing family: "Jay is looking at action-movie style vehicles like Tom's and wants to make sure they are bullet-proof and 100 percent safe." Eh, fair enough. Call me when he tries to get Secret Service protection for the baby. [Showbiz Spy]

Prince Harry was on the phone with his friend Thomas van Straubenzee when van Straubenzee was mugged, and his phone was stolen. Worried for his pal's safety, Harry drove to the area where van Straubenzee had been and searched but didn't find him. Eventually, his "intuition" told him to look at the local police station, where he found van Straubenzee safe and reporting the crime. Well, at least he tried to help a friend in need! [Telegraph]

Selena Gomez cited a "family emergency" as the reason for cancelling two of her holiday concerts scheduled for this weekend, and now it's been revealed that Gomez's mom, Mandy, has had a miscarriage. Selena had announced her mother's pregnancy on Twitter last month. [E! Online]

Famed singer and Grammy winner Cesaria Evora died yesterday at the age of 70. Called the "Barefoot Diva" because of her habit of performing without shoes, the singer had retired in September because of poor health and died at a hospital in her native Cape Verde. [CBS News]

Dancing with the Stars winner J.R. Martinez and his girlfriend Diana Gonzalez-Jones have announced they are expecting a baby girl this spring. [Radar]

Rapper Slim Dunkin was shot to death inside a music studio in Atlanta yesterday. The 24-year-old, whose real name is Mario Hamilton, was in the middle of filming a video when he was killed. No one has been arrested for the crime. [Reuters]

Three days after undergoing a double mastectomy, Guiliana Rancic, who was treated for breast cancer earlier this year, reports she's on the mend:

I'm feeling good and I'm happy to be back home. … I'm healthy and surgery was a success. It's been tough, but I'm trying to stay strong and manage the pain. I have to say I have a newfound respect for women who have been through breast cancer and this surgery.

Apparently the Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark isn't the only dangerous show in town. Yesterday performer Wendy White fell off of an eight-foot-high platform on stage during a performance of Faust at New York's Metropolitan Opera and was taken away in an ambulance. The mezzo-soprano remains in the hospital but is not seriously injured. [AP]