In the beginning …

When someone is diagnosed with MS, the questions are seemingly endless: Am I going to get
worse? Am I going to be in a wheelchair? Am I
going to be able to take care of myself?

“With MS, nobody can answer these questions for
you,” said Peggy Crawford, PhD, clinical psychologist in the Division of Behavioral Medicine
and Clinical Psychology at Cincinnati Children’s
Hospital. And for many people, concerns about
losing their independence and burdening others
are all-consuming.

Amanda Meyer, diagnosed 2004

“I don’t want people to feel
like they have to take care of
me,” said 28-year-old Crystine
Baynard of Virginia, whose first
thought after being diagnosed
was, “Am I going to be able to
work?” In fact, Baynard, a single physical education teacher
at an elementary school, has
made a point of fighting for her
independence.

“When I was diagnosed, myparents were trying to do every-thing for me,” Baynard said. “Ihad to tell them to let me be.”Other people simply shut down. “I didn’t want toshare what I was going through with my immedi-ate family members or my partner—and I didn’ttell them about the diagnosis,” said 60-year-oldJoyce Bruno of central California. Bruno, who wasin a relationship when she was diagnosed 20 yearsago, added, “I didn’t want to try to explain MS toanyone when I couldn’t even explain it to myself.”Bruno was in denial for five years and didn’t reallybegin talking about the illness until 1994. Secrecyput a strain on her relationships and her social life.She began declining invitations or canceling at thelast minute. “People around you don’t understandwhat you’re going through. You don’t look sick,so it’s hard for them,” she said, expressing feelingscommon to many newly diagnosed people, singleor not.