Jessica Coen

Okay, fine, some people prefer to call this early in-utero period as one without sex, but if you want to be technical about it, the early stages embryonic development are courtesy of the X chromosome. Granted, if an embryo has a Y chromosome, it's there from the moment of conception — but Mr. Y doesn't lift a finger for five or six weeks, and it's all on Lady X to get things started (that's so like him, just sitting around watching the game while she's getting shit done). Scientifically speaking, the embryo is female during that time. Once the Y chromosome gets off its butt and starts working, the fetus's ovaries descend into testes and the labia "fuses" (shudder) into a scrotum. That's right, guys: before your ballsack was your ballsack, it was nothing but ladybusiness. Don't believe us? That "seam" on your sack is actually from the labial fuse (I'm not sure "labial fuse" is a real term, but it sounds great). And that penis of yours? It's just a "variant" of the clitoris. So if we want to break this down to schoolyard taunting levels — and we do, because it's fun — your male genitalia is just a knockoff of the female original. Poseurs.