The 'Silicon Valley' Players

It's the funniest, timeliest new comedy on TV. And it proves what creator Mike Judge, America's finest auteur of stupidity (see: 'Beavis and Butt-head,' 'Office Space'), has believed for years: Idiots are everywhere— even in one of the smartest zip codes on earth. Though if you don't mind, they prefer the term "idiot savant"

Mike Judge

Role on Silicon Valley: Series co-creatorDream Start-up: "Shortest distance to the largest number of dicks. Location-based service. It kind of uses a center of-gravity calculation, assuming every dick weighs the same amount."

T. J. Miller

Role on Silicon Valley: Minority stakeholder, incubator founderDream Start-up: "An app where you press it and it makes a fart sound, and then, when you turn to tell somebody it's just an app, a recording of your voice says, 'It was me, it was me. I was the one who made small mistakes along the way.' "

Kumail Nanjiani

Role on Silicon Valley: Lead engineerDream Start-up: Frootle. "A banana that when you bite into it, there's ice cream inside. I know you can't grow ice cream from a tree inside a banana—I'm not an idiot. But I feel like if we could somehow accomplish this... People are going to be like, 'You can dip it in ice cream.' That's not what I want. I want it in the middle of the banana."

Zach Woods

Role on Silicon Valley: Head of business developmentDream Start-up: Analog. "A service that delivers a leather-bound volume that explains basic things about the Internet that you should already understand. Every month a milk truck would pull up to your door and they give you a physical volume."

Thomas Middleditch

Role on Silicon Valley: Founder, CEODream Start-up: "It'd be cool to have a thing on your door that when you open it, it would trigger random positive/negative crowd reactions. So you'd get home and it would go, 'Oh, boo!' Or, like, 'Yay!' It would be called PersonalLiveStudioAudience.com."

Martin Starr

Role on Silicon Valley: Systems architectDream Start-up: "You want me to innovate on the spot? That's kind of fucked-up. Okay, a self-cleaning shower— a shower where you don't have to do anything. It takes about sixty seconds. It brushes your teeth, washes your hair, takes care of your armpits, washes the crack. You know what I'm talking about."

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement (effective 1/4/2014) and Privacy Policy (effective 1/4/2014). GQ may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with prior written permission of Condé Nast.