Can’t you help her with her hair?

Always. He has always cared about his appearance, he has always, always been a badass steezy motherf-cker. Look at him. See? Hot. And then there’s the Jolie, here last night at the New York premiere of The Tourist, in a very serviceable white Versace gown, but that goddamn hair like ass on her head. Or, worse, like Sarah Palin.

Right?

Several of you mentioned it to me via email and it’s true. She’s styling it like Sarah Palin. What’s with the f-cking bump at the crown? It’s tacky and old and so totally news anchor. And such a terrible waste of that face. Look at that face. Her face, it’s crazy. It’s a face she claims has never had any work. Are you snorting?

Well this is an interesting hustle strategy for the Jolie. She actually granted an interview to the Daily Mail. The Daily Mail is dirty. Which is why I love it. The Daily Mail can be sexist, and full of sh-t, and it can straight up make up sh-t, and it has, gleefully, in the past printed some awesome bullsh-t about the Brange Ian Halperin styles. And now the Jolie has given them an exclusive...? Mommy’s gotta work!Click here to read the article. You know, it’s more of the same. I love Brad, he loves me, we love our kids, the Chosen One likes pants and worships her brothers and stop calling her a lesbian, and I’ve never f-cked around with my face.

Hooker, that hair is f-cking with your face. Just imagine, for once, if she had it properly styled? Imagine how he’d look at her then? Look at how he looks at her now.