Stand Up!

I have very little serious left to live for, so I’m considering, with no seriousness whatsoever, of making the ultimate joke of it… and pursue a career in Stand-Up Comedy… Does that sound crazy? … the goal of making people laugh until they’re carried away in a stretcher — for a living — or die in a smoldering pile of goo on the stage when I bomb so bad that there’s nothing left recognizable remaining. I may not get far, but as I’ve said, I have nothing (or nearly nothing) serious left to live for, so my horribly wounded self-image will either get fed or wither away to nothing, and shrivel up for good.

Here’s what’s really funniest of all: In my blind naivete, I actually believe that I’m funnier than anyone else… never satisfied either with most comedians, who are mainly considered mamby-pambies…

… with perhaps one exception, Robin Williams, the very funniest man ever in recorded history (though he’s only ranked #11 on on this web site).

I’ve been getting more and more in the habit of ribbing my friends just to see how much of a reaction I can get. I understand how important good humor is, and I intend to keep it very personal, and violate all social customs, exposing the actual amount of sacredness of all things, which is actually quite nil.

Now that I review the list, why is Eddie Murphy #8? Chevy Chase is way down at #23.

I admit not being able to please every crowd every time I cut up, but if they can’t take a joke, F**K ‘EM, RIGHT? er… or maybe they should learn to relax the sphincter. It’s not possible to laugh without first relaxing the sphincter muscle, you know.So, my plan is to make a long list of the things that people find the most sacred and serious, then the fun part… to systematically dice, slice, shred or pummel each item on the list with the least number of words… and plenty of passion — until nothing serious or sacred remains un-defiled, compromised, or otherwise reduced to it’s simplest truth.