Wednesday, November 1, 2017

November! Finally! And it feels like November! Has your autumn been strange? Mine sure
has. August and September were dreamy
and cool, and then all of the sudden it shot into the 80s and stayed there! The
fuck?! It was so fucking gross! The leaves all started to blush early and then
many of them fried on the branches in that bullshit heat. Though with the other weather phenomena
lately, I guess it’s horribly unbecoming of me to complain about shit being
ugly in Ohio. That was the worst of it.
Was your area in the path of some apocalyptic weather system this summer-fall?

I got a tiny taste of coastal life with hurricanes shortly
after Labor Day with Irma. I haven’t
bought my Hilton Head place yet which I had been a little frustrated with
leading up to hurricane season. Once it
arrived, I was glad! The hurricanes haven’t
changed my mind though. I just need to
go turn some tricks for people with a fetish for maladjusted rude fat men (it’s
a niche market) and get it done. Anyway,
the plan was to stop in Atlanta to see my brother (he had moved to Atlanta, but
he just moved back), and then head to Hilton Head. Before I left Columbus, the forecast looked
unfavorable and by the time I arrived in Atlanta it was obviously not going to
happen. The South Carolina coast wasn’t
even expecting anything “bad”, just maybe 3-7 feet of storm surge. Listen, I was not about to put myself in the
situation to potentially need rescuing with my dog and my Le Creusets because
my dumb ass wanted to walk the beach (though I did reeeeeeeeeeally want to be there leading up to the storm to photograph
the waves!). So knowing the fucking
disaster that is Atlanta and their idiot motorists and miserable traffic, I
left Atlanta about 4AM the Friday before the storm. How incredibly eerie to be casually driving
back to Ohio among all Floridians. There
were no lane changes or speed fluctuations, just disturbingly judicious driving
almost in a drone-like trance. You see
cars crammed with people and possessions and pets, clearly distilled to the
essentials. Obviously for so many this
is a familiar sight but I hadn’t ever experienced it.

Not my photo! A buoy that washed ashore in Hilton Head during Irma beautiful shot courtesy @that_lowcountry_life

What could be a long story, I’ll make short. (edited to add, Ha! Short. Sorry!) What a
weird fall. Now I don’t want anyone
talking about this on my Instagram, this is a blog only type of deal, but I
literally fell into another relationship and it could not be going better. You know I’m a Taurus and my ability to
romanticize knows no bounds, so I’ll be careful and not say anymore. On the other hand, my goodness, does it take
time! I am simply short on time these days.
It’s an adjustment I’m happy to calibrate but I need to strike a balance
as I’ve been robbing time from sleep and that’s not good! Even with missing a
week for a would-be vacation, September was one of the busiest months I’ve ever
had workwise. Well of course I did what I always do and charged through
thinking I’ll sleep when it’s all over!
Well by the time my last wedding of the season rolled around, I had been going
on 3-4 hours of sleep a night for like four weeks. The last wedding was October 7, on Sunday
October 8 I woke up and thought nooooooooooo!
Of course, I was sick. I keep doing
this! Push too hard, burn out, get sick.
Oh? And among all this, my uncle died.
Now the truth is I was simply not close with him. Never any issues, we had a nice rapport, but
we just didn’t have that connection. But
this was my dad’s oldest brother and my dad absolutely adores him. It was a complete shock as he had just turned
67 and was in incredible shape, a marathon runner and triathalon person—I don’t
know what the fuck they’re called, triathletes? Anyway, it just knocked the
wind out of my poor dad as I could see he had that terrible feeling of robbed
time. My uncle was to retire at the end
of the year and planned to travel extensively and my dad was excited to do some
of that with him. So while I was not
personally as heartbroken over this loss (and I hope that doesn’t sound as bad
as it does to me, do you know what I mean?), I could feel these sort of
agonizing vibrations of loss around me.
Luckily I was finally better the week of his Ohio funeral and was able
to pull it together and host dinner for 50 (short of 50, no idea how many would
come so I was prepared for 75). The
temptation is to think that people don’t care if you cook or host in your
house, but the truth is many of them do.
There is a soul and a feeling of legacy that is irreplaceable to
me. The funny thing is the older I get,
the more people I lose, the more I believe in the sense of duty of family. I knew nothing could matter more to my dad
right now than if I help him send his brother off the way he wanted. He doesn’t have the time to do things this
way, but he can count on me to do it. I
thought of my cousin’s children who have just lost their grandpa, schlepping to
Ohio and wanted it to be nice for them, I thought of how my grandma, the indomitable
Virginia, would have opened her doors and fed everyone somehow with only like
two hours of work, and then my beloved Aunt Patti, who shared none of her mother’s practicality and all of my artistry and Martha Stewart
fantasy, and all I can say is I so intensely felt them. I almost felt selfish as everyone was at the
church service and I was alone in my kitchen getting ready having this
world-bending moment of connection and intuition. For me, these meals the cornerstones of
family life.

After the meal when everyone was sort of milling around,
talking with my cousins I realized they think of me the way I thought of my
aunt and grandma. I have no clue where
the silver will go when I’m no longer using it, but hopefully there will be
another link in that chain. It feels good to hold the spot.

So? Thanksgiving! Oh my god I am so glad for
Thanksgiving. I am so glad for
November. Things are slow right now,
there is a bitterly cold rain falling, and the upside of our mostly shitty
October is that there are still beautiful leaves to admire. I am glad to exhale, breathe in the beauty, and
enjoy planning Thanksgiving with all of you.

A Halloween tradition started by Michelle, still in practice now. Chili on Halloween!

It will be a little different this year as I have pledged to
myself I will not allow myself to
work past 11PM, no matter what kind of groove I’m in or how much it may throw
off my schedule. The important thing is
that I do it. Of course, my aim is still
lasered perfection as always (though never achieved, because remember! I am not
a perfectionist because perfectionists never get anything done because nothing
is ever perfect!), but my first priority
will be maintaining a normal sleep schedule.
Things change, hurricanes come, people die, you fall in love, and you
eat too many mashed potatoes and drink too much wine. Sounds more or less like Thanksgiving.

As always, this only works if you participate. You can argue with me, point out the obvious
holes in my logic, whatever you want.
But mainly I want to know about you.
I want to know what you do for Thanksgiving (or Christmas if you’re
Australian!), how have things changed for you from last year? How many turkeys?
How many people? How many bottles of wine per person? Who can’t be seated next
to each other? Tell me! You know you don’t even need to sign into anything to
comment here.