Turn Left Turn Right

I sat by the phone this evening and looked at fomfomfom. She noticed me looking at her and asked me what I wanted. I didn't tell her. Ah ma walked by and fomfomfom asked ah ma if she knew what I wanted. Ah ma walked past me without stopping and then sniggered. Fomfomfom queried what's so funny, and ah ma told her I was waiting for a phone call.

Fomfomfom then made me sit with her on the sofa, all the while assuring me she would inform me immediately should a call come in for me. I told her I was waiting for my friend Isabella to call, and fomfomfom nodded knowingly.

Fomfomfom came back with a laminated poster today. It is of a brown and white puppy in a shoe, of all places. Everyone thought it is so cute. I thought it looked like me when I was young, only that it was brown in places where I was black. So I asked cha for a black marker so I can change the brown into black and it would be a portrait of puppy ping.

But everyone said "Oh please". They said the puppy in the poster isn't even the same breed as me. I had to wave them off dismissively. Details, details.

Everyday at 530pm I'd watch Worldwide Exchange on CNBC with cha and wait for fomfomfom to come home. Everytime the lift ping'ed from 530 onwards, I would jump down from the sofa to go to the door. It has become a routine and routines are always comforting.

But today fomfomfom told me she'd fired her boss and it's her last day so she'll be at home holding hands with me all day everyday from tomorrow onwards. I asked her if that meant I won't have to wait for her at 530 everyday and she said yes. I felt strangely sad.

Fomfomfom and cha were driving home on the expressway when a dog suddenly spun on its back across 4 lanes right in front of them. Cha had to swerve without checking if there was a car beside to avoid hitting the dog. It was all very dangerous business.

They saw in the rearview mirror that the dog lifted its head after coming to a stop. It was a brown mid sized mongrel. Coz it was the expressway, fomfomfom and cha couldn't stop and reverse. So they came back home in shock. Later, cha and ah bee went back to see if the dog was still around but it wasn't. We figured it must be a good thing coz either someone had taken it to the hospital or it is not that badly injured and managed to walk off on its own.

We don't know how to help all those poor vulnerable animals out there so we will go to the SPCA and buy some Be Kind to Animals t-shirts and we will wear them all the time.

Fomfomfom got her health report today. She is in such rude health, it's almost rude.That coz fomfomfom'd been bingeing on all sorts of junk since chinese new year and then her cholestrol went down. I must start bingeing too.

I met a toy poodle from the next condo today. Well, I couldn't technically see her coz she's so tiny. Only 3 months old. But coz I'm so smart, I knew she was there over the fence and I chased her and barked to show who's boss, and she was scared accordingly and I hurrumphed and strutted the rest of the evening.

Her owners expressed admiration at my harness. The poodle has only a little collar. To think, when I was her age, my mamas discussed bringing me out using dental floss.

I ended up at the vet's again today. I learn that I am 5.8kg. And the vet woman put her fingers somewhere and did the unmentionable again, so I shat in her hand to show her that I disapprove. Every single month I disapprove.

Then she showed me who's boss and gave me a jab. It was my annual vaccination and she forced me to swallow a deworming pill. Yuk. They should make a pork flavoured deworming pill in bubblegum colors. Why hasn't anyone thought of it yet?

At home cha and fomfomfom carried me during my walks and I squealed. Coz the jab hurt and they pressed on my back when they carried me. I told them, pingping pain pain. And they kissed me and said I was a good girl.

Ah bee came back from work and her feet stunk to the high heavens. She was sitting so close to me I lost my temper and tried to bite her nose off. What shoes can do to a perfectly respectable person. Not that ah bee is respectable, of course.

Me, I never wear shoes. That's why my feet always smell good. They smell like the earth and like me.