This time it’s Broncos offensive coordinator Adam Gase who has informed the Browns that he is withdrawn himself for consideration for their vacant head coaching job. That is certainly less humiliating than getting turned down by Josh McDaniels, but still bad when everyone hails the 35-year-old as being smart for declining the Browns job and waiting until a better offer comes along.

While some might crack that Gase is only a hot candidate because he got to ride Peyton Manning’s coattails for a season, that argument is somewhat undermined by the fact that Mike McCoy, the former Broncos OC, had a nice first season as head coach with the Chargers.

Hopefully, the Browns can keep the off-season hilarity going by getting turned down by a half dozen more candidates before eventually settling on this:

They need someone in for the long haul, someone willing to pull some all nighters, someone who can really carry the heavy load, someone really willing to put the rubber to the road and get trucking… What better place to search than at Flying J’s around the country?

“I really appreciate the interest of the Browns organization, and I regret that I cannot consider the position at this time,” Gase didn’t say. “I’m 100% focused on bringing the Lombardi trophy to Denver. After that, we’ll see.
“There are so many other things I need to do,” Gase certainly did not continue. “I’ve never even started a fight in a pool hall or a biker bar, much less seen it through to a horrifying, grisly finish. I’m 35, so I might as well get an early start on those medical procedures men should start having once they turn 40. Really looking forward to those. I’ve never been in the middle of a food riot, although a road game in Jacksonville comes close.
“Maybe I shouldn’t say this,” Gase didn’t go on to say, “but you seem like good guys, and as long as I’m being honest…so, I’m a big Breaking Bad fan, but meth is a bit played-out, and I, well, I’ll just say it: I really want to become a kingpin in the manufacture and distribution of Krokodil. Oh, and of course a user. I mean, that’s inevitable, right? I just…it’s something I have to do.
“So, anyway,” he did not conclude to a stunned and appalled press corps, “no thanks on the Cleveland Browns job.”

I don’t think they even need a coach. I’m thinking the team should take an open field, draw a grid on to it with a play in each square, let loose a cow on the field, run the play listed in the square that cow shits in first. Viola!

Greggggggggggggggg, taking the lessons of the Deadspin HOF vote kerfluffle to heart:

“Because the official MVP always goes to a quarterback or running back, TMQ annually names an MVP who is neither. This year, readers will choose! Next week’s column will present four nominees. A poll will determine the trophy recipient. See next week’s column for details.”