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So many times I wish I hadn't survived. I wish I could live and not just exist. I'm so very tired of just existing.I wish I could take about 3 months off from work to sort some of this stuff out. I wish I had never told anyone except my therapist about this stuff because I can't take it back, and people I have considered my friends are suddenly too busy to have any contact with me. I wish I didn't hurt so much. I wish I could sleep. I wish I never needed to sleep. I hate going to bed, but once I'm in bed it's even harder to get back up again and go through the routine of another day.I wish I could just function better. I wish...

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4 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:WishesSo many times I wish I hadn't survived. I wish I could live and not just exist. I'm so very tired of just existing.I wish I could take about 3 months off from work to sort some of this stuff out. I wish I had never told anyone except my therapist about this stuff because I can't take it back, and people I have considered my friends are suddenly too busy to have any contact with me. I wish I didn't hurt so much. I wish I could sleep. I wish I never needed to sleep. I hate going to bed, but once I'm in bed it's even harder to get back up again and go through the routine of another day.I wish I could just function better. I wish...

TN I understand all this words you say! trust me so familiar. I remember when I confronted the two abusers and told my parents and family. I wish that I could of got under a rock and hide. But I hold my head up and had the courage to tell my story to everyone. I needed to go forward and go go go... my counselors, my husband, my parents where the only ones to support me at that time. Family that I thought would support turn around and where too busy or it was to painful to deal with. I felt so alone. like i was the bad person. bringing out the family secret. But what help me was my God most of all. The Courage to heal book that I always recommend everyone to read. I was the only one to change my attitued and the way I was going to change. Keep going dont give up!You are not alone remember that.~Healing

~I am entitled to my own truth.~There's more than anger,more than sadness,more than terror.There's Hope ~Edith Horning

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Report This| Share this:WishesTN I understand all this words you say! trust me so familiar. I remember when I confronted the two abusers and told my parents and family. I wish that I could of got under a rock and hide. But I hold my head up and had the courage to tell my story to everyone. I needed to go forward and go go go... my counselors, my husband, my parents where the only ones to support me at that time. Family that I thought would support turn around and where too busy or it was to painful to deal with. I felt so alone. like i was the bad person. bringing out the family secret. But what help me was my God most of all. The Courage to heal book that I always recommend everyone to read. I was the only one to change my attitued and the way I was going to change. Keep going dont give up!You are not alone remember that.~Healing

Thank you both. Appreciate the support and hugs. Grief just overwhelms me at times. I've gained even more weight this year, and I've disappointed myself with that, too. It's hard not to feel shame with all this. So very hard.

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Report This| Share this:WishesThank you both. Appreciate the support and hugs. Grief just overwhelms me at times. I've gained even more weight this year, and I've disappointed myself with that, too. It's hard not to feel shame with all this. So very hard.

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