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I’ve been waiting to do this post for a year. I didn’t take many body photos along the way this year because I wanted to be able to see a difference. I can’t believe I’m going to share them publicly on the internet, but I am. I have been going on all year about losing weight and eating ice cream, and I want people to see that it really IS possible to lose weight and keep it off without restricting foods, going into a deep calorie deficit, and going insane. With just plain old moderation in eating and regular exercise.

To recap:

My mission for this year was to not drink alcohol and to take control of my health by eating better and exercising consistently. I decided I would lift weights and try to eat close to maintenance to try to do some body recomposition. First let me say that I could not have done any of what I did this year without giving up alcohol. I wouldn’t have had the energy or drive to continue working out long-term if I kept it in the mix. Second, I also made the decision to just work out per my schedule, no matter what. I did that, except for in May when I seemed to be sick and fatigued the entire month. I’m not sure what was happening there. But I just let my body rest and heal.

I started small, just lifting weights 3-4 times a week for about 30 minutes each time. I used Nia Shanks’ Lift Like a Girl routine for a while, just basic stuff but trying to lift a little heavier whenever I could. I also did most of her Train to be Awesome program. I started running again, 3 days a week, anywhere from 2-5 miles. I did this for a few months and then started to work in more running. Now I am running 6 days a week, about 27 miles a week, and still trying to lift heavy-ish 2-3 days a week.

As far as eating, I just ate what I wanted. I tried to be reasonable and aim for balanced meals. I also tried to be hungry for my meals, not starving, but hungry for a while. I never cut out sugar or wheat or anything else. No need! Not giving up anything I loved made it easy. That just leads to deprivation and guilt when you finally cave and eat all of the things that you aren’t ‘supposed’ to be eating. Anyway the food part was really that simple. I ate ice cream almost every day for many months. Oh, and I never counted calories.

Fast forward to today and I made so much progress in 2015! I ended up losing just under 26 pounds, 11.5% body fat (according to my scale which I know isn’t completely accurate), and 17.25 inches!! That averages out to be just 2.15 pounds and about 1.5 inches lost per month. That would have driven me crazy in the past to only lose 2 pounds every month, but I knew it was going to be the only way for me to finally make lasting change and my best hope to keep the weight off. So far it’s working. I could have really gone nuts and tried to lose more weight and do it faster, but I know that would have backfired. I didn’t try to eat too little because I knew I wouldn’t be able to sustain my efforts in working out. Working out was what was going to change how my body looked. Besides, if you are trying to re-comp, your muscles need fuel to grow!

I thought I’d give a monthly breakdown of my weigh-ins this year to give a better idea how I moderately lost weight. The first number is pounds, the second is body fat percentage.

January 1 – 152.2, 37.5%

February 20 – 148.2, 33.5%

March 1 – 147.6, 34.5%

May 1 – 142.6, 32%

May 29 – 142.2, 33%

July 5 – 139.6, 32%

August 2 – 138.4, 31%

August 30 – 136.4, 31%

September 27 – 134.8, 29%

November 1 – 131, 29%

November 30 – 126.8, 26.5%

January 1, 2016 – 126.4, 26%

I also took measurements monthly. That was where the progress was the most exciting for me!

January 17, 2015

Bicep – 12.25

Chest – 39

Waist – 31

Belly – 36.25

Hips – 40

Thigh – 24.75

Calf – 13.75

I lost anywhere from .5 to 1.75 inches each month.

January 1, 2016

Bicep – 11

Chest – 36

Waist – 28

Belly – 32.25

Hips – 36.75

Thigh – 22.5

Calf – 13.25

If my math is correct, I lost 17.25 inches this year!! My goal was to change my body recomposition and I’d say that was a huge success.

If I could give anyone some advice on how to lose weight I’d say this:

Find a way to move your body that you like, that you will do consistently long-term. If you can, lift weights to give you the most ‘bang for your buck’. What worked for me is lifting and running. Use activity to make you feel good! Just stick with it.

Eat what you like, but try to focus on getting regular, balanced meals. Try not to eat too much.

Don’t use exercise to punish yourself for eating. Don’t burn off calories for eating too much. If you ate too much, just use it as a learning experience and move on.

Don’t label food as good or bad. Food is just food, fuel for our bodies whether it is cookies or salad. Don’t attach morality to food, it has no moral value, just nutritional. Save yourself the guilt trip!! Just try to eat in a way that makes you feel good.

Don’t deprive yourself of things that you love. If you love chocolate or ice cream (ME!), eat it, just in appropriate amounts.

So that’s that! I feel like I made huge strides and changed a lot in 2015. I reached my goals of consistent exercise and weight loss. I never really set a specific number goal and don’t think I will. I’m just happy to have lost the weight and inches and my new goal will be to keep them gone.

And here’s something I never thought I’d do, but I (mostly) feel comfortable enough now to do it. Post before and now pictures. This was from June 2014, I pretty much looked the same in early 2015.

June 2014 around 150 pounds

January 2016, 126 pounds

I’m still carrying some fat, but not that much. And as you can see it is almost all in my belly, butt, and thighs. My body isn’t perfect but I love my body now! I actually have some muscle definition! If I never lose any more weight I’ll be fine with that, because my body can do cool stuff, like run and lift heavy things. I know I’m strong and that feeling is priceless. I imagine though that I will be able to lose 10 more pounds or so, if I keep lifting and running, which I intend to do.

So there you go. My year of change and weight loss. I hope that I will maintain it and not regain it. It wasn’t necessarily hard work but it took a long time and I don’t want it back!

I’m up a pound, but I’ve been weighing at 125 most of the week, so I’m up 2 pounds really. I’ve been eating higher calories all week. Yesterday I ate lots of stuff, mostly sweets. Don’t really feel good about it, but I don’t want to beat myself up about it either. All I can do is treat myself better today. I think I’m going to go through the cupboards and get rid of all of the stuff that I don’t truly love to eat, so I’m not just mindlessly grabbing stuff all day long. There is so much in the way of treats in the house, I kind of feel like I have to have some of all of it. But I’m having more than some of all of it! Its almost like I’m doing last chance eating. Even though I don’t plan on changing that much come the new year. Hopefully I’ll cut it out this week.

…

This week’s workouts:

Sunday I did a long run of 8 miles. It was cold and snowy but not horrible. I actually ran a pretty good pace too, 9:03! The whole thing took me 1:13.

Monday was a 3 mile run and weights. My run took 27 minutes, 9:03 pace. For weights all I had time to do was deadlifts. I think I did 7 sets total, with the 35# plates. It felt good.

Tuesday I did 4.17 miles in 38 minutes/9:05 pace. This was a wet one, it had snowed but it was on the warm side so there was a lot of slush and water happening. My socks got soaked! It was a good run though.

Wednesday should have been a run and weights but I skipped the weights. I was trying to get stuff done ahead of time for Christmas and I didn’t want to feel too pressed for time. I did 3 miles, 27 minutes/8:52 pace.

Thurdsay was 5.41 miles, 51 minutes/9:24 pace. I just tried for easy, but it wasn’t that easy. It was pretty cold and really windy.

Friday I did 3.12 miles, 32 minutes/10:22 pace. We got a bunch of snow Christmas Eve and Morning so I was running in a few inches of fresh fluff. It definitely took me more time. It felt so awesome! I was just happy to be alive and out running, even if it was in the cold and snow. It is always beautiful to be out in the fresh snow too. I did weights afterward – squats, shoulder presses, back extensions, and calf raises. I ended up working out for about an hour and a half that day!

Saturday was a rest day! 😀

Totals – 26.73 miles, total workout time 4 hours 58 minutes.

This week I am definitely going to do better with eating. Like I said, I don’t want to beat myself up, but I don’t like the binge type eating that I’m doing. And I don’t really know why I’m doing it?! Like I want to sabotage my efforts. No. I don’t. Anyway. Just going to do better and eat more sensibly.

Someday I will get it together and make this blog more than just my weigh-ins. Sigh. LOL

Yesterday I took a peek at the scale and it was 127 and 27% body fat! Today it was back up to the same numbers last week. Oh well. Pretty sure that next week it will be back down. I also realize that I am nearing the ‘last 10 pounds’ mark, if I am not already there right now. So it will be a lot harder for me to keep losing weight. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing and focus on the process and what I can do. Because I can do cool stuff 🙂

My workouts this week:

Sunday 3 miles, 9:11 pace. That was my last run of a low week. I really needed that week to ‘reset’ my energy levels!

Monday I just did weights. I did machine squats and tried to do a heavier day. Since I only have one day that I just do weights and not run, that will be my heavy day.

Tuesday 3.13 miles, 9:11 pace again! I’m happy that my paces are consistently under 10:00, and a lot of times under 9:30!

Wednesday 3.01 miles, 9:35 pace. I was tired this day. I have a lot going on at work on Wednesdays and sometimes I am fried by the end of the day! Did it anyway 🙂 I also did weights with dumbbells! I’m taking it easy, but I am extremely happy to be back to using dumbbells. Maybe soon I will be brave enough to try pull-ups again?!

Thursday I did 4.3 miles at a 9:18 pace. It felt like an ‘easy’ run and that was my goal.

Friday I did 3.01 miles, 9:24 pace. I ate lunch too late and this one was hard. I hate it when I’m still digesting food, I get so many side stitches and cramps I also did weights, mostly with a 20# kettle bell. I did single leg deadlifts, goblet squats, back extensions, and planks. I moved up to holding a 25# plate for back extensions!! I can only do about 10 at a time but that’s 15 pounds more than I was using!

Saturday was a rest day! I think I only got in maybe 8000 steps yesterday. Lots of errands and sitting around 🙂 It was nice!

This week I would really like to see that 127 number again, and I’m pretty sure I will. I’ve got the 3-4 meals a day thing down for sure, so I’m just trying to do the eat just enough. I will really focus on that this week and I think that will help out a lot.

I spent a while yesterday going through some old clothes that I had been hanging on to. You know, like skinny clothes, hoping they will fit again one day. And they did all fit! In the sense that I could slip the jeans over my thighs and button comfortably. But most of those jeans were from many years ago, like 10 years. And I guess I didn’t know how to buy things that actually do fit back then LOL I mostly had old boot cut jeans and capris. This was before I discovered that short women should wear petite sizes – because they are for short women. Boot cut jeans look great, if they are the right length, and you are wearing boots. Revelation! And why was I obsessed with capris?! They don’t look good on short women. I’m pretty sure I knew that, I had heard it various places. But still I kept buying them. I realized that I was using them instead of shorts. Using them to hide. And then I felt really sad for my old self. I hated myself so much and hated my body, even though I actually was skinny back then. No matter how much weight I could have lost then, I still would not have been able to be comfortable in my own skin.

I honestly do not know why I have had such a change of heart lately. I DO love my body now. I love me, because I’m not constantly comparing myself to anyone else anymore. That never did me any good!!! WHY did I waste SO MUCH TIME caring about what some stranger would think of me when they saw me in public? Ugh. Well at least I have learned from that. I am not going to waste any more time hating on my body or anything about me. I’m me and if you don’t like it, you can fuck off LOL I don’t even care. It’s funny, I see all of these articles about things that change for women as they get older, and I would never have believed them even 5 years ago, but they are all true. I have simply started to care less about all of the trivial things that just don’t matter. Am I happy? healthy? Is my family? That’s all that matters.

Whew! Glad to get that off my chest! And to get rid of all of those old jeans. (I’m keeping the t-shirts though!)

I thought after my bigger loss last week and my once again relaxed habits *insert eyeroll at myself* that I would be up or flat this week. But I am down another 1.4 pounds and 1% body fat. Wow! That puts me at 131 pounds and 28.5% body fat.

I was kind of stressed out this week. I skipped some meals, and I had some extra treats. Still not eating ice cream every day though! In fact, we only have one pint in the freezer and I don’t like it so I’m not going to eat it. We do have plenty of frozen fruit bars and chocolate though. And I have been eating a lot of the chocolate. M made almond flour brownies one night too, and I’ve had a couple of those.

I skipped a couple of strength workouts too due to poor planning and limited time. I only did one weights workout on Monday 😦

Tuesday I was supposed to run 3 miles but didn’t check my schedule beforehand so I thought I was still only running 2. I made it up on Wednesday though when I did 4 miles instead of 3. I took M to climbing on Wednesday and didn’t have enough time to do both run and strength so I just did the run. It was quick though! I did it in about 36 minutes!! Thursday I ran 3 miles, a lot slower 😉 Friday I just lost all motivation and we went out to eat and shopped a little instead. I took a rest day yesterday and this morning I’m up early so I can get my run done in case I have to go to work.

So even though I’m not doing perfectly, I’m doing enough to still create a deficit and lose a pound and some body fat too! I’m still focusing on and tracking the main habits of eating 3 meals, waiting for hunger, and trying to eat just enough. I got overfull a couple of times this week and it didn’t feel good. And eating too much chocolate also doesn’t feel good. Going back to the snack cupboard multiple times is just something I will have to keep working on.

I weighed in again today, with not much change. I am exactly the same weight as last week, 134.8, but the body fat went from 31 to 29%! I don’t know if I’ve seen it that low. If I have, it has been like 10 years! So that was kind of cool 🙂 I’ll wait to see if that one sticks before I call that goal met. It has been bouncing around 30 and 31 for a couple of months now. I also did my measurements since it is close to the end of the month. I am down another inch overall.

YTD loss: 17.4 pounds, 8.5% body fat, 11.25 inches.

I have really been trying to eat to hunger this week, save my nightly treats. I know that is going to be a hard habit to break. But I’m contemplating it. That’s the first step, right? Well maybe I can improve this coming week. We’ll see. If I don’t stop eating ice cream every night maybe I can just make the portions a little smaller.

I did all of my planned workouts this week! Well, I skipped a run on Tuesday but I made up for it on Friday. As for weights, I have been doing squats and more squats. I’m itching to get back to deadlifts and pull-ups, but I don’t know when that will be. A while, I’m sure. Anyway, I ran on Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Sunday was 4 miles and the rest were 2 and 3 miles. I did add one more run day so from now on I will be running 4 days a week.

So I’m still going really slow and steady. But according to all of my numbers I am not really losing any muscle which has been the main goal all along! And every pound I have lost has just stayed gone. I haven’t been able to do that since the first time I lost weight. I just kept losing for about a year, but then I started to gain it back. So yes, the goals are losing fat and keeping it off, and I am doing it!! It feels great.

First of all the weigh-in. I was gaining small amounts of weight over the last three weeks but today that changed! I really focused this week on the 3-4 meals only, and reigned it it at dinner/treat time. My portions got a lot smaller this week for sure. And I just kept on doing my thing otherwise. It paid off because today I’m 136.6 and 30.5% body fat! That’s the lowest this year on both. I am so close to getting under both 135 and 30%! Those are what I have my eye on now. Hopefully either or both will happen soon!

Also, I don’t really care too much about this one, but I think my BMI is normal now too vs. overweight. So there’s that too 🙂

Sunday

I worked all day but I still ran after I got home. I wanted to go outside but the sky was threatening thunder and lighting so I just went on the treadmill. I watched an episode of Sense8 while I ran for about a half an hour. That show is so weird!

Monday

TTBA phase 2, workout #7. This was leg focused. I didn’t really feel like I worked that hard, but when I was done I was wiped! I seriously hate single leg split squats, but I know they must be doing a good thing lol

Tuesday

TTBA phase 2, workout #8. Mixed grip chin ups again. I tried to grip really hard and this time it was a little bit better. I am still pretty bad at them.

Wednesday

I got out for an early morning run. I was so tired! But I survived. I did 3.1 in 30 minutes. I also found out that my Fitbit One is shorting me on distance. I checked the miles on Dailymile, and it was off by more than half a mile! I think my Fitbit Surge gives me extra distance lol

Workout#10. I used my smaller resistance band for all of my pull ups. Normally I switch, but I just did as many reps as I could on each set, which was only 3 for the last 4 sets.

Saturday

I wasn’t sure if I would be able to run today, so I got in a run on Saturday. It was a pretty great one! I did 3.63 miles for a 9:03 pace!! The route I run in the mornings has two long-ish hills, so if I do an out and back I have 3 uphills. Sometimes it is tough! So runs like these are very pleasing to me 🙂

Weighed in again today. The pounds are up a little bit to 138.4 (lowest this month was 137.2), but the body fat% is holding at 31. I also measured since I do that monthly. I am down overall 1 inch, coming from my lower body, and since the first of the year I am down 8.5 inches.

I haven’t been really caring too much about what I ate this week, and I know I was overeating ice cream and treats, big time. I don’t have a good reason, my period did come and that was part of it but I was really overdoing it for whatever reason. I think I have moved past that! We also went camping and while I tried to just stick to 3-4 meals, the overeating treats happened there too. Oh well. I am moving on!! Not going to dwell on it, just going to try and do better. The past few days have been much better too.

As I said we went camping in the Uintas at Mirror Lake this weekend, so my workouts didn’t really happen as planned. I wanted to do more running while up there but it just wasn’t happening this time. I’ve done 3+ mile runs there before, but the altitude wasn’t letting me this time. So I didn’t push it! We mostly fished and just relaxed.

Sunday

I went for a 3 mile run before we started packing up to go. I went on the parkway trail for a quick in and out. I did 3.29 in 29:51 – making for a 9:04 pace!!

Monday

I did a loop around the lake. I wanted to do more but I had gotten a late start and I didn’t want to keep the family waiting too long for breakfast. I thought it was longer around the lake, honestly! I ran for about 20 minutes and 1.5 miles. It was tough.

Thursday

TTBA phase 2, workout #5. I should have done weights on Monday and Tuesday, so it was extra hard after taking those days off again.

Friday

Workout #6. I have been taking a stab at TRX pushups and I am SO sore two days later!! I totally suck at them but I’m going to keep doing it. This one also includes a lot of pull-ups. I am using two different assistance bands, so I do them with the thinner band until I can’t anymore and then switch back to the thicker one. I got about half of them in with the thinner band. I feel like I am regressing here. Oh well.

That’s all she wrote. I skipped 2 days this week, but I wasn’t just sitting around so who cares? Camping is full of lifting and doing. I always feel worn out from it too lol And it was worth skipping workouts 🙂 I’ll share some pictures in my next post!

Friday was my final workout in phase 1 of Train to be Awesome!! I’m well on my way to completing the whole program! I started it back in April, took a month off due to being sick and then being really fatigued in May, started back up in June and I am finally done now. Now I will do a deload week and then get back at it, starting phase 2. It will be fun to switch up exercises. I was starting to get a little bored. So phase 2 will probably take me another 8 weeks and then I retest markers to see how much progress I made.

It’s kind of funny though, I was so excited to be done, and then really soon after I was over it. Kind of a let down lol. No big fanfare, just time to move on. It IS a big deal though, seeing how I have never finished any program or even part of a program before. I always just quit. So I am pretty proud of myself for sticking with it this long. I still have phase 2 to go, and then I am going to do the next part which is actually a separate part of the program. So after phase 2 I will have really finished a workout program!!

I also weighed in today. I’m at 137.2 and 31.5% body fat. That’s down 2.4 pounds and .5% body fat from last week! Just to show how slow the body fat% moves, it had been 32 for more than a month with no change. I’m getting really close to getting it under 30% now! It will take a few more months, I’m sure, but that is my next goal.

So for the whole year so far I am down 15 pounds and 6% body fat. I won’t measure until the beginning of August so I don’t know about that part, but I imagine I will only be down another inch or so (currently sitting at -7.5).

I keep thinking I would like to work more on the lean habits. Eating 3-4 meals, mastering hunger, eating just enough. But what I am doing right now seems to be working, so I guess I don’t have that much motivation to change lol. I am not eating all day long, and I do try to just eat meals while waiting for hunger. It just always feels like my meals are stretched out at work, and then I have a big dinner with treats every night. Last night I skipped dinner and just went right for the ice cream and m&m’s! Well, after a big bowl of cereal with milk. It was a stressful (and fun) Free Slurpee Day. Anyway about the habits, I guess I will keep trying but not stress about it. The point is to wait for hunger and then eat, without snacking and I am mostly doing that. I could try harder though. I’ll put a little more focus into it this week and see what happens.

Today I was planning on going for a run and then going to work for just a little while, but the run doesn’t sound that great. I’m tired!! It’s been a long week, month, whatever. Maybe I will and maybe I won’t.

Last post March 3rd! Yes, I’m a little behind. I just don’t know what to do with this blog anymore. And I know that budget posts are not that exciting 😆 I feel pretty busy and when I think about blogging, half of the time I don’t know what to say, and if I say it who will care anyway?!

I have been busy. Work is slightly starting to pick up, but not enough for me to get excited at all about it. My days are just filled with working out, work, and then dinner and some web-surfing.

I did read a book though! I haven’t read an actual book in forever. It was called Black Dog Summer by Miranda Sherry and I quite enjoyed it. I picked up another from the library and started it, but I realized it was last in a big series – 10 books – so I quit reading it after 2 chapters. So next time I go to the library I’ll get another book, or read one here that I haven’t yet.

Active life is still the same. I am going to do the last workout of the Beginner Blast-off in Train to be Awesome today! Then I will do a reload week and then get on with the next phase. I’ve been trying to run on days when I’m not lifting and that’s going well too. I’m just doing lower miles, kind of following a 15k training plan. I’m not getting injured, well, I did fall yesterday morning but I think I’m okay!

And of course there is the weight loss department. I am keeping track of stuff but not weighing/checking in very often. In March I did weigh more than I wanted to and I realized I didn’t really like it. So in April I’m not going to weigh or measure at all. It will be a little hard, but I’ve made up my mind and so that’s that. Anyway, the March results were pretty good. I lost 2.6 pounds, 1% body fat (according to my scale), and .5 inches. Not bad for eating what I want, which includes ice cream, pizza, frozen yogurt, you name it. I’ve been eating it. And I’m not counting a thing or excluding anything. It’s really brainless, and I love that part. Am I losing very slowly? Sure am. This year so far I am down about 7 pounds. In 3 months that doesn’t sound like a lot. But I’ll repeat myself and say that I am absolutely sure that this time I am truly working on making sustainable habit changes, and this slow weight loss is going to stick! The only downside is that it is so easy, that that in itself makes it harder than anything I’ve ever done 😆 It is always more exciting to start some stupid new diet plan or count calories and calculate everything I will do. Now I just eat I what I want and move my body. There is no calorie goal, no burn goal, not even a weight goal or an end date. I’m just changing my life, for life, and it is hard to give the energy I was using up on all of that crap to something else. It is definitely a process.