Lovestruck

By Hewson J., Walnut, CA

I’ve been a hopeless romantic for as long as I can remember, wearing my heart on my sleeve and giving it away to almost every girl I thought I had a “spark” with. While most people fall in love gradually, for me it always happened in a heartbeat.

Sophomore year, when I was volunteering for a club passing out bibs for the city’s 5K run, a cute girl caught my eye. I watched her sitting there. She seemed shy, speaking and moving in a delicate way, like a baby deer learning to walk. She was with a group of loud, chatty girls. She, however, seemed to be the loner of the group, not paying much attention to her friends.

The supervisor eventually separated the volunteers into small groups. To my delight, my darling girl was sent to the empty seat next to me. As she came toward me, I realized how beautiful she really was. She was one of those girls who don’t know how attractive they are. This realization, combined with her sad glow, made something in me click. I felt my heart pump faster and blood rush to my brain. With that, I was in love.

I found it difficult to concentrate on my work with such a beautiful goddess by my side. For the first hour, I didn’t know what do. I was never good at talking to girls, and I was also quite shy. All I could think about was the fantasy of a future with her.

The three feet between us seemed like a mile. While my heart kept telling me to go for it, my brain told me to ignore my burning passion and imagine the worst-case scenarios. I waited for her to glance my way, but she never looked up.

Being a clueless teenager in love, I pulled out my phone and searched for ways to start a conversation with a girl. I clicked my phone loudly in hopes that she would peek over or ask a question. But her lips were pursed, her eyes fixed on the table. In a way, she was too nicely dressed, but that brand of elegance was exotic to me and intrigued me even more.

Finally, after telling myself “what the hell” a few times and summoning enough will­power to block out the logical part of my brain, I turned to the girl and said, “Hi, what’s up?”

Immediately, I thought, Idiot! She’s obviously doing the same thing you are, passing out bibs to runners. Now your life is ruined and you will never get to know this beautiful girl.

I was about to murmur, “Sorry, just talking to myself,” when an amazing thing happened. She smiled and sarcastically said, “Oh, hey. I’m just chilling here at this extremely fun event.”

I stared in awe, thinking, Who is this girl? Could she be my soul mate? She has the same sense of humor I do!

I must have stared for too long because she said, “Hey, you okay?”

I snapped out of it and said, “Yeah, I’m good. In fact, better than ever.”

As the day continued, we talked and talked and talked some more. Her name was Annjee, she was a grade behind me, and she had just moved from another city and was “socially awkward,” as she put it. I’d thought my stupidity and lack of experience with girls would make the conversation crash and burn, but everything sailed smoothly.

How could I parlay this lucky meeting and warm chemistry into an everlasting love? I pondered this topic long and hard. Finally, I figured it out; I’d add her on Facebook, send her a funny message, and hopefully get a conversation going. As the event came to a close, I wished Annjee farewell and rushed home. Thanks to my plan, I eventually got her number and asked her out on a date.

The morning of the date, I showered four times, put on my best outfit, and doused myself with cologne. I was ready. At noon, I waited for her at the prearranged meeting spot.

In the distance, I could see a clock. It was 12:05. I decided I would have to tease her for being late.

12:10, I tried to push down the uneasy feelings in my stomach.

12:15, I went through all the excuses for her absence.

12:25, I was in denial.

12:30, in disbelief at being stood up, I cried.

The lunch bell rang as I sadly waited like a lost puppy in the rain, hoping for his master to come. How could this be? I continued to wait, even though I was going to be late to class.

Finally, I gave up and walked away slowly, pathetically, shamefully. My fantasy was ruined. My hopes and dreams of our beautiful, romantic future were crushed.

I still think back to that experience from time to time whenever I meet a girl who immediately sets my heart on fire. While I occasionally still get duped, I have come to realize that the qualities I glimpse in women that instantly make them feel like soul mate candidates are mostly of my own construction. Now I know it’s best to stay cool and not fall madly in love with a woman I’ve just met. Just because we have chemistry, I’ve come to realize, doesn’t mean we have a future.

Even though Annjee eventually apologized for “forgetting” our date, things were never the same. I did try again. This time, I texted her and asked her out on an official date, and she officially denied me by ignoring my texts. After that we stopped talking. I suppose it was for the best: a clear answer with no “what if.” My two-month one-sided romance had come to an end.

Join the Discussion

WOW. THis is SO relatable. I am a hopeless romantic just like you, falling in "love" with far too many guys. I love your quickness, your wit. You're reallllllly witty, and it made your writing fun and easy to follow. While I understand that you were trying to make this quick and simple, I think it would be further enjoyed if it had a bit more detail. But that's just my opinion! You're very talented.!

i can say i used to like a cute girl but i was to shy to make a move we always talked and were friends but never actually bf and gf but i think that's a good thig or else it probably would've turned out like your date diched then awkward then done. ;) oh well

This was so sweet and beautifully constructed. I fell in love with one particular line, '--speaking and moving in a delicate way, like a baby deer learning to walk'. It gave me a little smile along with chills. Amazing.