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Friday, March 27, 2009

Bouquet De Milwaukee

That's why they can't see those fangs on her, or the look in her eyes. She blinded them with olfactory science, that's what.

Also, she is also packing some "glowing vibrant lipstick," which helps to knock out her victims with "irresistible lip lure." It emits invisible rays, no doubt.

There's something quite terrifying behind her - either a hat veil or her dark wolf-like doppelgänger. Whatever it is, it looks like it's ready for a little snack. And when its blood sugar starts dropping, it isn't going to be in a good mood (and don't we all know what that's like!).

Later on, she will put all her new admirers in the dungeon, which is cleverly concealed behind the fake wall in her boudoir. Seriously, does this not look just like a horror movie poster?

Now if you can't locate this exquisite stuff at the drugstore, you might like to make your own. And I have just the retro business opportunity for you:

Well, we can see that perfume is profitable! I just want to know how Mr. Schneider thinks we are going to make an exotic "Bouquet de Orient" with "no equipment." Also, he is not even in the Orient. Last I heard, Milwaukee is not in Asia. So this really is going to take some devious trickery. I have a feeling that Vampirella will know just how to do it.

16 comments:

Well, we can see that perfume is profitable! I just want to know how Mr. Schneider thinks we are going to make an exotic "Bouquet de Orient" with "no equipment."

Well, you will need some equipment but nothing fancy. Here's what you do:

1)Locate a large ceramic bowl.2)Go out in public and sniff people.3) Ask the ones who smell good to sweat in your bowl. 4) When your bowl is full, go home and bottle in whatever containers you have. Old mayonnaise jars, pill bottles, soft drink bottles, etc...5) Place ad in local advertising that your luscious blend is now for sale. 6)Wait for the cash to roll in.

Well, I'm game for that irresistible perfume stuff. At my age, I need all the help I can get (just don't tell the Mister about the men in the secret dungeon...he's already asking questions about the strange noises coming from the wall).

About Kitsch and Retro

Welcome! I'm Lidian and this is Kitsch and Retro...I love vintage ads, retro homemaking, and domestic history - from the Victorian era to the 1970s. I hope you will enjoy your visit as much as I enjoy writing this blog - and that you find it as full of quirky fun stuff as a 1950s molded salad - minus the celery, because ugh, celery.